Yoga for Birth: Yoga Postures, Meditations, Affirmations, and More for Childbirth 9780991537204

Table of contents :
Contents
Copyright
Important Disclaimer
Title Page and Front Matter
Part I: Yoga for Birth
CHAPTER ONE: Overview of Yoga for Birth
Journal Exercise: First Journal Assignment
Journal Exercise: My Notes
CHAPTER TWO: Stages of Labor
CHAPTER THREE: Yoga for First Stage Labor
Hands and Knees
----Cat/Cow
----Upright Knees
----Wide-Knee Child's Pose
Standing Poses
----Downward Facing Dog at the Wall
----Downward Facing Dog at the Wall-Forearm Variation
----Hug
Seated and Restorative Poses
----Foot Massage and Sacrum Massage
----Lean Forward
----Side-lying Pose
CHAPTER FOUR: Yoga for Second Stage Labor
Pushing
----Squat
----Lean Forward
Journal Exercise: What Do You Think Would Be Comfortable?
CHAPTER FIVE: Labor Meditations
Meditations
----Mother Hands Meditation
----Downward Meditation
----Hands Over Eyes Meditation
----Focal Point Meditation
Journal Exercise: Discovering Meditations Present in Your Life
CHAPTER SIX: Pranayama for Labor
Pranayama
----Hands on Rbs, Hands on Low Back, Hands on Belly
----Calming Belly Breath
----Partner-Guided Breathing
Journal Exercise: Pranayama Practice
CHAPTER SEVEN: Verbalizations and Mantras
Sound
----Om
----Hum
----Ahh
Partner Commuciation Exercise
CHAPTER EIGHT: Birth Affirmations
Journal Exercise: Creating Affirmations
CHAPTER NINE: Partner Massage
Part II: Yoga Philosophy for Labor and Parenting
CHAPTER TEN: Yoga Philosophy
CHAPTER ELEVEN: The Eight Limbs of Yoga for Birth and Parenting
Journal Exercise: Svadhyaya: Using Self-Study for Your Labor
Part III: Birth Stories
CHAPTER TWELVE: Birth Stories
Journal Exercise: Women Who Inspire Me
Part IV: Life After Labor
CHAPTER THIRTEEN: Preparing for Body After Baby
Journal Exercise: Postnatal Planning
CHAPTER FOURTEEN: Feeding and Body Alignment
CHAPTER FIFTEEN: Postnatal Yoga
CHAPTER SIXTEEN: Conscious Diapering
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN: Developing Supportive Community
Part V: Practice Routines and Planners
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: Practice Routines
----Practice: Calming and Grounding Routine (45 Minutes)
----Practice: Affirmation and Massage (30 Minutes)
----Practice: Standing and Seatedv(35 Minutes)
----Practice: 65 Minute Yoga Practice
Journal Exercise: Planning for Practice Time
CHAPTER NINETEEN: Planners
Resources

Citation preview

Contents Copyright Important Disclaimer Title Page and Front Matter Part I: Yoga for Birth CHAPTER ONE: Overview of Yoga for Birth Journal Exercise: First Journal Assignment Journal Exercise: My Notes CHAPTER TWO: Stages of Labor CHAPTER THREE: Yoga for First Stage Labor Hands and Knees ----Cat/Cow ----Upright Knees ----Wide-Knee Child's Pose Standing Poses ----Downward Facing Dog at the Wall ----Downward Facing Dog at the Wall-Forearm Variation ----Hug Seated and Restorative Poses ----Foot Massage and Sacrum Massage ----Lean Forward ----Side-lying Pose CHAPTER FOUR: Yoga for Second Stage Labor Pushing ----Squat ----Lean Forward Journal Exercise: What Do You Think Would Be Comfortable? CHAPTER FIVE: Labor Meditations Meditations ----Mother Hands Meditation ----Downward Meditation ----Hands Over Eyes Meditation ----Focal Point Meditation Journal Exercise: Discovering Meditations Present in Your Life CHAPTER SIX: Pranayama for Labor Pranayama

----Hands on Rbs, Hands on Low Back, Hands on Belly ----Calming Belly Breath ----Partner-Guided Breathing Journal Exercise: Pranayama Practice CHAPTER SEVEN: Verbalizations and Mantras Sound ----Om ----Hum ----Ahh Partner Commuciation Exercise CHAPTER EIGHT: Birth Affirmations Journal Exercise: Creating Affirmations CHAPTER NINE: Partner Massage Part II: Yoga Philosophy for Labor and Parenting CHAPTER TEN: Yoga Philosophy CHAPTER ELEVEN: The Eight Limbs of Yoga for Birth and Parenting Journal Exercise: Svadhyaya: Using Self-Study for Your Labor Part III: Birth Stories CHAPTER TWELVE: Birth Stories Journal Exercise: Women Who Inspire Me Part IV: Life After Labor CHAPTER THIRTEEN: Preparing for Body After Baby Journal Exercise: Postnatal Planning CHAPTER FOURTEEN: Feeding and Body Alignment CHAPTER FIFTEEN: Postnatal Yoga CHAPTER SIXTEEN: Conscious Diapering CHAPTER SEVENTEEN: Developing Supportive Community Part V: Practice Routines and Planners CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: Practice Routines ----Practice: Calming and Grounding Routine (45 Minutes) ----Practice: Affirmation and Massage (30 Minutes) ----Practice: Standing and Seatedv(35 Minutes) ----Practice: 65 Minute Yoga Practice Journal Exercise: Planning for Practice Time CHAPTER NINETEEN: Planners Resources

Copyright © 2014 Theresa Jones All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher via the contact information found on the website below. Circle Heart Books www.circleheartbooks.com All photographs, illustrations, graphics, design, and text are copyrighted and used by permission. Names of individuals and identifying information have been changed to protect privacy. Please contact the publisher above for further information regarding copyrights. ISBN: 978-0-9915372-0-4 Second Edition 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Book Credits Anatomy Illustrations Johanna Jones Proofreading and Editing Chenelle Bremont Angela Kissire Amy Shelby Additional Graphics Support Tyler Whitworth Photography Models Marni Yamada-Entrop Sarah and Eamon Walsh Book Design & Photography Tess Jones Special Thanks Ali Hope Tromblay, LM, CPM, Birth Center Owner, Bastyr Faculty Anne Phyfe Palmer, Prenatal Yoga Teacher, Owner of 8 Limbs Yoga Michelle Gagne-Bourque, Prenatal Yoga Teacher Rachel Lowe, Prenatal Yoga Teacher Marni Yamada-Entrop, Prenatal Yoga Teacher

Important Disclaimer This book is not intended to provide medical advice. It is an informational resource only and not intended to be a do-it-yourself book. Do not rely on the information in this book as a substitute for advice from a qualified health provider. If you have questions about things in the book, seek advice from a qualified health provider. Every person is different and the content contained on these pages may not be suitable for your situation. Pregnant women should take particular care to understand the limits they need to impose on their yoga practice before or in birth. You should not undertake any yoga practice during birth without first consulting with your qualified health provider. The publisher and author are not responsible for any specific health needs that may require medical supervision. The practice of yoga involves physical activity and may cause injury. Do not commence the practice of yoga without learning at least fundamental poses and techniques from a qualified instructor. The publisher and author assume no liability and are not liable or responsible to any person or entity with respect to any damages, loss, or negative consequences for any medical or any other type of issues that arise in relation to suggestions in this book, caused or alleged to have been caused, directly or indirectly, by the content on these pages. The publisher and author make no representations, warranties, undertakings, or guarantees that the information in this book is accurate, complete, correct, not misleading, or that it will lead to any particular outcome. Always clear everything with your care provider and be cautioned that you use the suggestions found in this book at your own risk. A waiver or breach of any part of this disclaimer shall not be construed as a continuing waiver or breach of the same or other provisions hereof, and the other parts of this disclaimer continue in effect.

YOGA FOR

BIRTH YOGA POSTURES, MEDITATIONS, AFFIRMATIONS, AND MORE FOR CHILDBIRTH Tess Jones Circle Heart Books

DEDICATION To my daughter and to all daughters. May the gifts of yoga enlighten your lives.

PREFACE

LETTER FROM ONE MOTHER TO ANOTHER Birth is a sacred journey, one that will change your life forever. Not just because of the transition to becoming a mother, but also because of the monumental event that is the labor experience itself. The entrance of a new child into the world comes in many forms, and each family’s story is unique. Birth is the ultimate surrender, no matter what your story. I’m here to champion light and love in the birthing process and reassure you that you can do it, you can get through it. Aspects of fear and doubt are rampant in our culture, and we tend to tell negative stories in passing. Perhaps it isn’t dramatic to recount the positive story of the strong mother that had a natural and steady labor, with no complications and a healthy delivery. But as mothers, those are exactly the stories we need to hear and share. Keep your ears out for these success stories, and then focus your energy on learning more about them. Start asking questions. How did she accomplish that? What preparation did she do for labor? What was the labor environment like? What books did she read? Birth has changed in the Western world over the past century for various historical and medical reasons. As a mother, it makes me question the future of birthing. How will we retain our ability to birth naturally if mothers do not pass our personal stories and knowledge on to one another? Communication and dialogue among women is essential to carrying on this knowledge. This book shares some of the tools I used for my own birth experience, from the perspective of a mother who has been through a labor and delivery. It also includes some new postures and coping techniques that I developed as a prenatal, postnatal, and hatha yoga teacher. This book can complement the rest of your labor books and resources, and the techniques described should be used under the guidance of a skilled, professional birth team. I am not a care provider. I am simply a mom who has trained as a yoga teacher. It is important for your labor that you make sure you work with a qualified care provider that can help you navigate your own birth experience. Never forget that every birth is unique. Depending on your own personal

circumstances, risk factors, or the way your birth unfolds for you, you may need to remove your expectations about your birth and surrender to whatever path is laid out for you. Although I believe it is wise to learn beforehand as much as you can, I also think it is necessary to be prepared to let go of your plans and let the birth unfold in whatever direction it goes. Surround yourself with positive and skilled birth professionals that can guide you through these waters, and read the philosophy chapter in this book for some ways of looking at the world during difficult times. In addition to a great birthing staff, I believe that pregnancy, birth, and parenthood are part of a slow transformation that requires a healthy dose of mentorship, guidance, and support. If you don’t have a mentor or guide during your pregnancy in addition to an excellent birth care provider, seek one out. Also know that there are women across the world that have gone before you on this path, and that you are connected with them. Let simply their presence and existence support you. Even if you have never practiced yoga, you can benefit from this book. Even if you have never meditated or heard of the word pranayama, I invite you to keep your mind open. If you are new to yoga, I suggest a weekly yoga class with a qualified prenatal yoga instructor so that you can ask questions and ensure you are safe while practicing any new positions or techniques. I invite you to listen to the stories and experiences on these pages and take away what works for you, listening to yourself as you go on your personal journey to becoming a parent. Namaste Tess Jones Mother and Author

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

GRATITUDE First I must thank my family, who offered unwavering support as I spent countless hours writing, designing, and editing these pages. To my husband and daughter I send you unlimited love and gratitude for allowing and encouraging me to follow this path. I also send thanks to the amazing women who shared their birth stories, opening their hearts and personal journeys for others to read. I thank them for their honesty and openness. I would also like to gratefully acknowledge Ali Hope Tromblay, LM, CPM, who offered support and excellent feedback, not to mention helped me through the delivery of my own daughter at her amazing birth center. For yoga models Marni Yamada –Entrop and Sarah and Eamon Walsh who shine in these pages, I am grateful and blessed; as well as my friend Andrea Mydlarz-Zeller who graciously provided photo shoot equipment. To my good friend and writing partner in crime Chenelle Bremont, I offer great thanks for inspiring me, listening to my quandaries, and ultimately keeping me on track follow the book through to the end. I am forever in debt to (and in awe of) my sister Johanna Jones for her amazing art skills in creating the anatomy illustrations. And to freelancers Angela Kissere, Amy Shelby, and Tyler Whitworth, I offer thanks for your editing and illustration skills. I would also like to acknowledge the many yoga teachers in my life who have inspired and taught me over the years. Firstly to Anne Phyfe Palmer, a source of great inspiration who gave me a shot as a new teacher, and who values and holds space for prenatal and postnatal yoga, giving a great gift to the women of Seattle. Also to Melina Meza, Jenny Hayo, Chiara Guerrieri, Susan Grote, Marni Yamada, Rachel Lowe, and Michelle Gagne-Bourque, I offer thanks. And finally, to my parents who have always encouraged me to follow my dreams, who supported me through thick and thin, I am grateful. And to my own mother, who inspired me by teaching Lamaze® classes in our living room when I was a child, went to law school when I was nine as a single mother, turned half her lawn into a garden, taught me to eat organic, question everything, and stand up for what I believe in—and who held my hand during the labor and

delivery of my beautiful baby girl along with my husband—I say simply, thank you.

PART I YOGA FOR BIRTH

1 OVERVIEW OF YOGA FOR BIRTH INTRODUCTION Welcome to Yoga for Birth. This book is filled with ideas to help pregnant moms and their partners get ready for the birth of their new baby. It contains yoga practices, peaceful meditations, calming affirmations, and yoga philosophy for the birthing experience. In the months leading up to the delivery of my daughter, I took a weekly yoga class. During labor my body remembered the meditations from class and the lessons we learned about working through challenge. After I had my baby, my postnatal yoga class was nourishing and supportive. I felt in community with other mothers going through similar challenges, and supported by practicing postures that were designed for my post-pregnancy body. I went on to train as a yoga teacher, and even further to gain a specialty in prenatal and postnatal yoga. Teaching yoga to pregnant and new moms is a gift to the universe and my way of giving back to the many moms and

teachers who taught me when I was going through the same thing. Soon this book too was born, to put down on paper some of the practices that have helped me and a few others on our path to labor, delivery, and the journey that is parenthood.

Why Yoga for Your Birth Yoga is an ancient practice originating in India that has blossomed into a world-wide phenomenon. There are various forms of yoga, some focusing on the physical, others on pursuit of knowledge, and some on devotion and the spiritual. The way yoga has come to be as we know it today is a long and detailed discussion, and beyond the scope of this book. What we are left with is that we have a very rich and fascinating tool at our fingertips. It engages both the body and mind, and for this reason more and more people are discovering and using yoga to enrich their lives each day. Most yoga studios in the West have several things in common, including a combination of light yoga philosophy, physical poses to give strength and freedom to the body, and meditations and breathing work. Common lessons and themes in yoga such as being in the present moment, listening and tuning into each movement of the body, letting go of unnecessary holding to free up more strength, and clearing the mind, are perfectly suited to the experience of a woman going through the major life change of growing and birthing a baby. The literal definition of the term yoga means to unite or to yoke. While practicing the physical poses of yoga, we yoke our bodies and minds in a number of ways: by focusing very specifically on movements of the muscles and aligning bones, by breathing and letting breath and energy move freely, and by practicing in a safe way within the scope of our abilities and focusing on our own mat. At the same time, we unite the body, breath, mind, and spirit for a practice that is more than physical, having an intangible spiritual aspect and opening of the energetic body that is difficult to explain. Labor likewise demands a yoking and uniting of several elements at once. We must have internal and external strength combined with surrender and letting go. Physical considerations such as pelvic bone alignment take place while hormones based on emotions and mind-body connection work simultaneously to move the labor process forward. It’s only natural then that we would turn to these same yoga practices used to ease suffering and bring joy to daily life to help us through labor. For women already doing yoga regularly, they will be eager to use what they

have already discovered as a positive addition to their lives to help them through this time. For women trying yoga for the first time, pregnancy is an exciting time to try something new and a doorway to introduce yoga practices that will long outlast your pregnancy and delivery. Yoga is not just one thing. It is not just the poses, it is not just philosophy, and it is not just meditations. Listen to and practice the aspects of yoga that you gravitate to most strongly and best serve you for this time of life, in this moment.

Journal Exercises This book is peppered with journal activities to cultivate svadhyaya or self study, peering into yourself to find the answers that already reside there. You may revisit the journal pages several times throughout the self-discovery process of your pregnancy, and that’s okay. Don’t worry if your page is full of eraser marks and rewritten lines. You are allowed to change your mind. As you journal, listen to what you feel right now and cultivate non-attachment to any ideas you have about the past or future. For your first journal assignment, turn to the end of this chapter and fill in the answers to any questions you feel drawn to.

About the Yoga Positions in this Book I am providing some posture ideas in this book, but this is in no way an exhaustive list of the ways you can move your body during labor. Listen to your intuition and it will guide you. Remember that you already know how to birth—that knowledge is inside you. Depending on your specific birth circumstances or process, different positions may benefit or detract from the ease of your labor. Every labor is unique and a pre-written book can not predict what may arise during your specific labor experience. This book is meant as a preparation guide to give you tools that you can draw from during birth. If practiced faithfully ahead of time, they may come naturally during labor. But only you and your health care providers will know which ways of moving your body might best benefit your birth. With your safety in mind, I remind you to remember that every woman and every labor is unique. For example, not every woman is a good candidate for natural labor. Also, during labor things can change rapidly and it is important to be surrounded by a skilled birthing team. There are many

factors that could influence which positions would be best for you in your labor at any particular moment. For example, some positions may speed labor up for someone needing to move things along, while other postures may slow it for someone who is moving too fast. If all this intimidates you, at the end of the day, remember that your intuition is often the best guide. These comments and the list below are simply meant to make you consider the orientation of your body and help you become aware of the overall concept that body positioning and alignment can possibly affect your labor.

Items that may affect the positions you choose to use during labor: Your health and physical therapy history as well as any injuries or awarenesses Favorite poses that comfort or calm you and positions that you regularly practice during pregnancy to create mind-body connection to peace Position of the baby (if more on one side or the other, for example) Items available in the birth room like a birthing ball, birthing tub, birthing stool, bed and pillows, chairs, or shower Considerations of gravity and the speed of your labor (fast or slow) Stage of labor and energy level of the laboring mother Need of laboring mother to change it up or try new positions Any restrictions of movement based on an IV, an epidural, or a walking epidural Care provider recommendations or intuition about what is needed in the moment

Gravity in Labor The positions in this book are organized by the orientation of your body. For example, are you on hands and knees, are you lying down, or is your body upright, standing, and vertical? There is no right or wrong way to birth. One woman may prefer to have her entire birth lying on her side, another may want to be standing up in the shower, and yet a third may want to squat on a birth stool. Are there ways to speed up a slow birth or slow down a fast one? It is entirely possible. I’ve heard many books recommend walking and being upright in the early phases

of labor to try to get things going. The Downward Meditation (see page 67) in this book suggests that we have the ability to use gravity to our advantage. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that lying down will slow your labor. For me, it was the opposite. Being more comfortable allowed my contractions to deepen. However, once I needed to push, an upright position felt right for me to move the baby downward. I invite you to explore the positions in this book and come to your own conclusions. The simple cultivation of an awareness that positioning of the body may have an effect on your labor may be enough to help guide you during your birth experience.

Baby Orientation In the third trimester, your baby should naturally turn to a downward orientation, with the back of their head facing out. I used to imagine my baby’s butt pressing against my stomach, her head nestled downward. When I spoke to her, I would rub my belly and pat her cute little behind. She would nuzzle it against my hand, and it was my way of giving her a hug. I rewarded her positioning with a full-body positive affirmation of happiness and joy. For some moms and babies, positioning does not come easily. It may take time. Be patient and seek out resources that can help you get your baby in the right alignment. Clear any emotional blockages or fears you may have about birthing. Try Viparita Karani (see page 45) or other positions that might help turn the baby. Seek out healthcare professionals and listen to their input. If you had difficulty turning your baby and now finally have them in the proper orientation, you will naturally be more mindful of the positions you choose before and during labor. Cat/Cow pose or pelvic rocking on hands and knees may not be helpful, for example. If dealing with baby orientation issues, take extra caution, using your own judgment and the expertise of your health care providers before practicing any positions you see shown in this book.

Birth Partners Mothers should have at least one person as their designated birth partner for support above and beyond their care team. Your birth partner should be available to practice ahead of time with you, should understand your birth plan, and should attend birth education classes with you. You may find in labor that you are tired or can’t think straight, and your birth partner will act

as a mirror, reminding you of your strength. They may also end up being the person that interfaces with your health care staff, so they should understand your wishes and be able to protect and communicate them to the staff. Your birth partner could be a spouse, a family member, a close friend, or a doula.

ACTIVITY: EXPLORE GRAVITY Try different positions in this book and observe how they feel. Observe gravity and its effect on your body and baby. Come to your own conclusions about whether a position might help the productiveness of your contractions and the downward movement of your baby.

Doulas I encourage mothers to have a second support person at their birth. Trained doulas are an excellent option and I highly suggest that all mothers have a doula present at their birth. Doulas are an essential team member of your birthing experience and should not be thought of as a luxury. Their primary role is simply to be your advocate. If you transfer between facilities, doulas go with you. If your birth partner gets tired, doulas can give them a short break. Your doula can move around the room or do other tasks so that your partner doesn’t have to leave your side during difficult contractions. Look in the resources in the back of this book for references to a website giving links to doulas in your area.

Do I need a Partner to Practice These Yoga Positions? Birth partners should read this book along with mothers. In labor, your birth partner may be the one recalling various practices and techniques from this book and other sources, as the mother will be focused on the labor process itself. I suggest your birth partner learn any favorite meditations, poses, and mantras by heart so that they can offer these as ideas during the labor. There are also several journal exercises throughout the book that can be done together to grow trust and reveal helpful coping techniques specific to the mother prior to the birth. That said, all the positions in this book can be done alone if desired. Even Standing Hug pose (see page 37) could be modified into Downward Facing Dog at the Wall Forearm Variation (see page 35) if a partner is not present. Some mothers may choose to labor in a room alone, and I support whatever birth vision each mother has. It is your choice, and yours alone, who is present in your space while you labor.

COMMUNICATION TIPS FOR PREGNANT MOMS While practicing these positions, the mother's job is to communicate. Tell your partner what feels good or what needs adjustment. Let them know what is or isn't helping. Know that the people you have surrounded yourself with are there to help you. Feel trusting of those around you, while remembering to use your voice to let people know what you need.

TIPS FOR BIRTH PARTNERS The partner's job is to remain peacefully supportive, not taking adjustments personally, but feeling joy that the mother trusts you enough to let her feelings be known. Trust the mother and trust the process, letting it unfold naturally. Practice ahead of time with your pregnant mom to cultivate trust and make it known how much you support her. Through all the positions, think about your own ergonomics. You may be standing in one position for a while; some labors can be quite long. Take time to find a comfortable posture as you move around during labor, focusing on good posture and alignment. This will help prevent fatigue and exhaustion that may hamper good communication.

Journal Exercise

First Journal Assignment What do you hope to achieve or learn by reading this book? Who will be supporting you during your labor, and what role(s) will they play? Have you ever felt an intangible connection with your baby? When? What helps you feel most clear and connected to your baby?

Journal Exercise

My Notes Make space in your notebook to take notes as you read through the book. This will help you easily remember things that you want to take action on at a later date. Add these sections to your notebook: Notes and action items: Techniques to practice: Books I want to read or websites to look into:

2 STAGES OF LABOR WHAT ARE THE THREE STAGES OF LABOR? Labor consists of three stages. The first stage includes early labor, active labor, and transition. The second stage is the pushing phase, and the third is delivery of the placenta.

First Stage Labor: Early Labor, Active Labor, and Transition Most of the yoga positions in this book are for first stage labor. You’ll want to have an array of positions, meditations, and verbalizations ready before this stage to help move you through contractions as your cervix effaces (gets thinner) and dilates (widens). Every contraction counts, with each contraction moving you toward holding your baby. Even if the yoga practices in this book help you through just one contraction, I feel the book has been a success. That is one contraction closer to your baby coming into the world. During the active labor phase, I urge you not to put a clock on yourself. Try not to monitor what you may think of as progress or get attached to a

sequence of events based on other labor stories you have heard. If your health care provider is looking at the clock, consider letting them know if it bothers you and if you prefer not to be on a timeline. Early and active labor can last a long time. Your water may break, or it may not break. You may have two hours of labor, you may have forty-eight. Don’t place expectations onto your labor. Instead, put one foot in front of the other, living only in the present moment. Often people hit a plateau where contractions or dilation slow. If you get to this place, ask yourself how you are feeling. Are new fears cropping up? Do you need to change positions or get more upright? Try walking, if you can. Face your fears. Use your affirmations. Breathe out with a heavy “ahh,” let go of your fears, and get that energy moving again. Sometimes there is no explanation for a plateau, and simply being aware that this is normal is a comfort. My own mother hit a dilation plateau in her labor. She was at 4 cm dilation for a long time. The nurses were concerned about her lack of progress. But then suddenly something clicked, and she went from 4 cm to 10 cm very quickly. Every labor is different. For this reason, some mothers opt out of getting their dilation checked. The baby is going to come out. As the old saying goes, it doesn’t help water to boil any faster if you stare at it. Another reason mothers opt out of vaginal checks is if their water has broken. Health care providers may put you on a 24- or 48-hour timeline for inducing labor it you aren’t progressing after your water breaks. If your water breaks, it is your choice whether to decline a vaginal exam. Ask your doctor about these topics in your pre-labor appointments and see what their thoughts are. Does your health care facility have a 24-hour policy or a 48-hour policy? Ask them their thoughts on why some hospitals allow 24 hours and some allow 72. I advise all mothers and partners to enroll in a comprehensive labor education class. This book is not a replacement for a solid education and understanding of the process of birth. My birth partner and I took a weekly class that met on Sunday afternoons. My teacher was knowledgeable and gave us a complete course on labor and delivery. There are many birth education classes available. A few to get your started as you research which class is best for you are The Bradley Method®, Lamaze® classes, or a program through your local birth center or hospital. The end of active labor is marked by a dilation of 10 cm and a period known as transition. Transition is the moment you may find yourself saying “I can’t

do this” or “the baby is coming.” Contractions may feel like they are rolling one on top of the other, or you may feel a strong downward pressure. From one mother to another, my transition was the moment I completely let go. I threw up several times and my body took over from there. I was no longer controlling the process; it was controlling me. I surrendered to this, and moved into the second phase of labor: pushing.

Second Stage Labor: Pushing The second stage of labor, pushing, can be short or long. Some women push for two hours, while for others it can be fifteen minutes. Mentally prepare for a long, hard spell of work. If it goes quickly, it will still be work, just shorter work, which will be a pleasant surprise. That is my personal philosophy, and one I feel will serve you well when you get to this place in your labor. The term pushing makes one think of great effort. Instead of pushing, perhaps a better word would be easing. Ease your baby down the birth canal. Many facilities and health care practitioners coach mothers to push. You may be able to save effort and valuable energy if you wait until you feel the urge to push on your own. Once pushing commences, some women need to push long and hard for several hours, while for others the process goes quickly and they may even need to pull back. Listen to feedback from your care provider on when to push, how hard to push, and help with supporting your tissue during the final crowning. Pushing can be done in any position that feels right. Be aware that some positions could possibly be counter-productive to the pushing phase. For example, Foot Massage pose (see page 41) may not necessarily be a good position to use for pushing. The recline of the back positions the pelvis tilted slightly up, which could be counter-productive to the baby’s head moving down and out of the pelvis, depending on how your hips are tilted. Consider the images below, thinking about the concept of gravity, the baby’s orientation, and the pelvis. Which position do you think would be easiest to move the head of the baby down and out through an open pelvis? One of the most natural positions for moving a baby out of the birth canal is Squat pose (see page 51). Leaning back has the already aforementioned drawback. On hands and knees, the body is inverted and the belly hanging down. In Squat pose, the bones of the pelvis are opened wide. The body is slightly tilted forward, helping baby to move down and out. Nature has a plan, and thousands of women birthing across the world in the squat position

for centuries are definitely onto something. Birthing stools (a semi-circle shaped stool made especially for labor) are a wonderful aid to squatting during the pushing phase. They give the mother something to sit on so that her legs don’t become fatigued. The stool also elevates the shape of the squat to ease tension on the hips, making for a more comfortable squat at a time in labor when mothers are tired and in their most intense moment of labor sensation. Squatting aside, you should push in whatever position feels right for you in the moment. Try these positions and see how you feel in them. Also, make sure to ask your health care provider ahead of time if you have the freedom to push in whatever position you see fit.

About The Pelvis The pelvis connects your upper body to your lower body. It is the junction where your spine ends and your legs begin. It is shaped like a bowl and contains and protects organs. For females, it contains the uterus. The two large bones on the side connect in the back to the sacrum in the center. The sacrum is a triangle-shaped bone at the end of your spine just before the coccyx. On the front of the pelvis, the pubic bones meet in a joint known as the pubic symphysis.

Pelvic Bones and Alignment During the Pushing Phase In the world of yoga, alignment is a very important concept. How can we open our hamstring if our alignment is asking our back muscles to come into play? How can we twist our thoracic spine if we are incorrectly taking a twist in our low back? In birth, how can we ask our baby to ease out of the birth canal, if we are not setting our bones and alignment up for success? This is a difficult thing to make blanket statements about. Each woman and each baby is different. Much like in yoga class, what works for one person may not work for another. One person may be restricted by tight hamstrings, and another by tight hip flexors. In birth, one person may need to have the hips tilted in one direction for optimal pushing, while another may need to go on hands and knees first, reposition the baby, and then have one hip slightly tilted back. Move your body until you feel you are in an optimal position for pushing and birthing out your baby. Follow your instinct and urges. Use your yoga breathing and tune into your body, your baby, and what you both need. When you birth your baby, the alignment of the pelvis in relation to the baby’s head and an expansion of joints work together to ease your baby out of the bony pelvis. Your baby’s head also has some give. The fontanels, or soft spots on the baby’s head, provide flexibility to allow the baby’s skull to shrink in size as the baby passes through the birth canal. Meanwhile, the

hormone relaxin softens the ligaments connecting your pelvic bones to allow for movement and expansion of the pelvis during labor. It is a fascinating work of nature that the pelvis can expand in this way. During labor many women use affirmations related to a flower opening, visualizing the ease and flexibility of the pelvis like the petals of a flower slowly opening to allow for productive movement of the baby down the birth canal.

Third Stage Labor: Delivery of the Placenta The third stage of labor is the delivery of the placenta. Once pushing is complete, congratulate yourself. Hooray, you and baby did it! Many mothers like to have their care providers immediately hand the baby to them to be placed on their bare chest. The baby may naturally start nursing, gaining comfort and connection with you as its mother. The baby does not need to be washed, and in fact the vernix (the white, wax-like substance covering newborns) may be beneficial. Ask about this in your childbirth education class to learn more. The next order of business is cutting the cord. Ask them to wait for the cord to stop pulsing before it is cut. Birth partners can help here. They will ask you, “Do you want to cut the cord?” Rehearse your answer, because you will be excited and perhaps not completely collected in this moment. Your answer should be, “Has the cord stopped pulsing?” Your care provider will then ask you who you prefer to have cut the cord. After the cord is cut, your care provider will guide you through when and how to deliver the placenta. Listen to their guidance and expertise during this process. You can squat again for this if your care provider approves, or take any position that feels natural or comfortable for you.

SUMMARY OF THE THREE STAGES OF LABOR Stage One Early labor Active labor Transition Stage Two Pushing

Stage Three Delivery of the Placenta

3 YOGA FOR FIRST STAGE LABOR HANDS AND KNEES, STANDING, AND SEATED AND RESTORATIVE POSES The positions in this chapter are organized by body orientation and are separated into three groups: Hands and Knees, Standing Poses, and Seated and Restorative Poses. Once you learn the yoga positions individually, you can try using the sequences at the end of this book to string together a home yoga practice in preparation for your labor.

Safe Yoga Practice in Pregnancy and Beyond Relaxin is the hormone responsible for the amazing feat of expansion during labor. It allows the ligaments of the pelvis to stretch and the pelvis to open to birth your baby. Unfortunately, it can also make your joints and ligaments feel unstable, and is present in your body throughout pregnancy and for many months after. Take care that you don’t overstretch when you exercise or while practicing yoga during pregnancy and the many months that follow. You may think you are more flexible than usual and it may “feel” good to go into a deep stretch, but it’s wise to be protective of your joints while relaxin is in your body. Remind yourself to go to only eighty percent of what feels

right in the stretch. Ligaments are vulnerable during the period when this hormone is present. Sacrum pain and pubic symphysis diastastis (loosening of the meeting of the front pubic bones) are two common issues in pregnancy that can be related to relaxin and the stretchiness of ligaments due to this hormone. I experienced sacrum pain mid-pregnancy and visited a physical therapist. This is something I recommend to all pregnant mothers. My physical therapist realigned my hips and gave me stabilizing exercises that spoke to my situation. The pelvis is a junction where leg muscles, back muscles, gluteal muscles, abdominal muscles, and hip flexors all meet or pass through. Strengthening one or two key muscles could provide stability for you in an area experiencing pain.

Before You Practice These Yoga Poses Set aside some quiet time, find your yoga mat, and make a safe and protected space for yourself. Music can help to create a soothing atmosphere. Low lighting can also be relaxing, but I suggest using it only toward the end of your practice for relaxation because low lighting can make standing and balance postures difficult. If you are new to yoga, work with a qualified yoga instructor to help you learn the poses before trying them at home. Always be sure to make room for baby in every pose, and never move into a pose that presses on your belly. When getting into and out of a pose, move slowly and mindfully. When sitting or standing up from a pose low to the floor, take your time before rising to let your blood flow adjust. Also, avoid practicing in a heated room when you are pregnant. Practice these poses on a stable, flat surface such as a wood floor with a yoga mat. Avoid wearing socks and choose a yoga mat with some grip to it so that your feet will not slip. Cushioned yoga mats can make standing poses difficult and unstable. However, they are useful for poses on hands and knees where cushion is welcome under the knees and wrists. Make sure to clear these yoga poses with your care provider as well as reading the disclaimer at the front of this book prior to beginning.

Hands and Knees

Cat/Cow (Marjariasana/Bitilasana) The flowing Cat/Cow motion warms the spine and helps you connect the movement of your body to your breath. Hip Circles and Swaying warm up the hips and bring blood flow to the lower body.

Tabletop Place your hands directly under your shoulders, finding a steady tabletop pose. Spread fingers wide. Knees should be hip-width distance apart so that the kneecap lines up below your hip joint and there is some space between your knees. Knees can be wider if needed to make room for baby. Your back should be flat. If your wrists are sore, lean your elbows onto a bolster or two stacked, firm pillows.

Cow Inhale, lifting the chest and tailbone.

Cat Exhale, dropping the tailbone toward the floor and rounding the shoulders like a cat. Avoid crunching the belly: instead focus on lifting your shoulder blades toward the ceiling.

Hip Circles or Hip Swaying in Tabletop Start in a stable, flat-back tabletop with hands planted on the floor. Sway the hips side to side or move backward and forward in a circle, maintaining a flat back. Move in whatever way feels good.

BIRTH PARTNERS Offer a pillow for the mother to lean forward on between contractions.

Upright Knees This is a vertical position easily alternated with Cat/Cow pose (see previous page). This posture would be a great place to practice your Downward Meditation (see page 67). From tabletop position, bring yourself upright onto your knees. Place a padded blanket under your knees if needed. Align your hips over your knees, and your shoulders over your hips. Weight your tail bone down. Notice the feet. Feet with shoelaces down and toes pointed may cause foot cramps. If this is the case, instead turn toes under. A small blanket can also be rolled up and placed under the top of the foot for support. There are several options for arms in this pose. You could place hands on low back to open the chest. You could reach arms up to the sky, or hang forward on your partner’s neck. Pelvic rocking or swaying is also available in this position. Widen your knees if that feels good in the moment. Remember: The more vertical the position, often the stronger and more effective the contractions may be.

BIRTH PARTNERS Offer a pillow or the edge of a bed for the mother to lean forward on and rest between contractions. Offer to gently massage her sacrum or make long strokes on her back.

Wide-Knee Child’s Pose (Balasana) Wide-Knee Child’s pose is a restful and restorative posture. Widen your knees to make space for baby. Draw the toes of your feet together while keeping your knees wide. Sit back toward your feet, resting your chest and head on a bolster or a few firm pillows, with head turned to one side. If this position is uncomfortable for your knees, place a pillow in the crease behind your knees and sit back on the pillow. Arms can reach long in front of you, rest by your sides, or you can stack both fists under your forehead and look down toward the pillows. Weight the tail bone down toward the heels of your feet. Breathe easy.

BIRTH PARTNERS PARTNER OPTION 1 Offer more or fewer pillows. Sit next to your pregnant mom and gently massage her back, making long strokes from neck to tailbone. Another massage option is to make small, outward circles around the sacrum.

PARTNER OPTION 2 Stand at the mother's head, with your feet wide. Place the palms of your hands on her back on either side at the top of her pelvis (avoid pressing directly on the low back area). Bend your knees and find length in your back. Press forward and slightly up with your hands. Use the weight of your body and proper alignment with a long back to apply pressure, instead of fatiguing your arm muscles. Listen to your partner. Ask her whether you are applying too much or too little pressure and whether to move the hands up, down, wider, or closer together.

Standing Poses

Downward Facing Dog at the Wall (Adho Mukha Svanasana) Downward Facing Dog at the Wall pose can help you find length in the back, easing sensation during contractions. It is a versatile position that can be done at the wall, on the edge of a bed, or even on the edge of a table. Standing close to a wall, place your palms on the wall a little lower than chest height. Spread your fingers wide. Take small steps away from the wall, continuing to press your hands into the wall as you extend your back and eventually find what may be close to a ninety-degree angle with your body. Gently bend your knees. Separate your feet a few inches wider than hipdistance apart to make room for baby and help with balance. Keep your upper arms pulled back in their sockets instead of over-extending them, and avoid locking your elbows. Instead, find length in your back by bending your knees and lifting your hip bones to the sky.

BIRTH PARTNERS Stand behind or to one side of the mother. Place your thumbs on either side of her sacrum or hips and make gentle circles in an upward and outward motion. Ask the mother how much pressure to apply and what areas to focus on. To prevent fatigue, the birth partner can step one leg forward and one leg back, bending the front knee. Avoid rounding the back—instead maintain a long spine. Use the bend of the legs to get lower to meet the mother's hips and avoid fatigue in the birth partner's back, and NOT as a method to press harder. Avoid pressing too hard this area of the spine as it is sensitive. Alternatively, the birth partner can sit on a stool or chair to the side or behind the mother.

Downward Facing Dog at the Wall Forearm Variation (Adho Mukha Svanasana) This more upright variation of Downward Facing Dog with forearms against the wall provides a more vertical stance and a chance to turn your focus inward as you place your head near the wall between your elbows. The wall provides support and encourages internal focus and quiet as you stand in this vertical position. Stand close to the wall. Place the length of your forearms against the wall, with hands clasped together and elbows shoulder-width apart. With knees slightly bent, lean forward onto your forearm. Use the wall for support as you remain in this vertical position, breathing through sensation. Have a chair nearby in case you want to sit down and rest between contractions.

BIRTH PARTNERS Stand behind the mother. Place your thumbs on either side of her sacrum and make gentle circles in an upward and outward motion. Have a chair ready nearby in case your mother wants to take a break from standing. If she wants to stand alone and be internally focused, use that as an opportunity to rest for a moment. Close your eyes to rest your mind. Check in with your mother after a few minutes.

Hug This is one of the few positions in this book that requires a partner to be present. It can feel grounding to hang on to the support of another person while riding the wave of a contraction.

Standing hug Birth partners should find a steady stance with feet hip-width apart or wider. They can also stand with one foot forward and one foot back. Stand firm, but keep the knees gently bent to avoid locking them. Roll the shoulders down and back to open the chest. Mothers, place your arms around your partner. Depending on the height difference, you will either hang on their neck or lean into their chest with your head on their shoulder or chest. Find a position that is comfortable for you.

Seated hug Sit on the edge of a bed or on a chair. Have your birth partner sit on a chair across from you. Widen your legs to make room for baby. (The birth partner’s legs go on the inside.) Place your hands around your birth partner’s neck or shoulders and lean onto their shoulders or chest. Birth partners should be aware of their posture and avoid rounding the back.

Seated and Restorative Poses

Foot Massage and Sacrum Massage This seated-chair position gives room to play. You can focus on opening the chest with hands behind you, or keep hands forward, resting them on your knees. You also have the option to lean forward, be upright, or lean back. Use whatever feels right in the moment. You may choose to use one variation during contractions, and then alternate an opposite variation to rest between contractions. This position is ideal for practicing Mother Hands Meditation (see page 65), and also offers options for two birth support members: one massaging the feet and the other massaging the sacrum. Sit on the edge of a bed or on a chair. Choose an arm variation to help you work though productive and effective contractions: Practice Hands On Ribs, Hands On Low Back, Hands on Belly breathing (see page 81). Sit upright. Practice Mother Hands Meditation (see page 65). Interlace your fingers and stretch them over your head. Find length in the arms, shoulders, and spine as you open your palms to the sky. Lean forward between your knees, then rock back and open the heart. Sit tall and place your hands behind you, drawing your shoulder blades together and down your back. Open the chest, allowing the heart to be free. Lift up with your spine, finding space in the ribs. Draw your chin back and in toward your head to protect the neck, instead of jutting your chin out. Have your birth partner choose one of the options shown on below that fits well with the arm variation that you chose.

Birth Partner Foot Massage Sit in a chair facing the mother, or sit on the floor. Have the mother place her feet on your knees or on a pillow across your lap. With thumbs pointing in toward each other, wrap the rest of your fingers around the outside of her feet. This will give you leverage to use your thumbs to press up into the foot. Massage the feet by working the thumb up from the base of the heel, along the arch of the foot, and up toward the ball of the foot. Use firm pressure to

avoid tickling. Communicate with your partner, asking what feels good. Try different techniques until you find one that works well.

Birth Partner Sacrum Massage Stand or kneel behind the mother. Place one foot forward and one foot back. Reach your arms forward and put your thumbs on either side of her sacrum. Communicate to find the area that feels best for her, and then apply gentle pressure.

Lean Forward By leaning forward onto support, you have something to hang on to for comfort. You can completely release or focus on a chosen meditation or affirmation. Straddle a chair, with legs wide to make room for baby. Place a pillow on the chair back for additional comfort. Lean onto the pillow, resting the head to one side. Find a comfortable resting place for the arms.

BIRTH PARTNERS Kneel on a pillow, or sit on a chair nearby. Make long strokes on the back, starting with one palm down the back, and then using the other palm down the back, in a slow and continuous flow of downward motion. Partners should find a comfortable, supported, and aligned posture to avoid fatigue. Avoid rounding the back, instead remaining tall in the spine.

Side-lying Pose Side-lying pose is a fully supported posture that allows your body to let the process of labor unfold naturally. For some women, lying down might slow down labor, while for others, it allows the body and mind to relax so deeply that it has the opposite effect of opening them up. Lie on your left side, with your head resting on a yoga bolster or a firm pillow. Your left leg lies long, while your right leg bends and rests on a second firm pillow. Bend your right arm and rest it on a small pillow, folded blanket, or yoga block. You should feel completely supported and relaxed. Try practicing this pose every day to prepare your body and mind for a relaxed labor state. Try verbalizations that encourage inward focus such as Hum (see page 95), Ahh (see page 97), or rest in silence and listen to your breath.

BIRTH PARTNERS PARTNER OPTION 1: Offer pillows to add or take away height until the mother is supported and comfortable. Sit behind the mother, stroking her back. If the mother wants quiet with no massage or movement, take this opportunity to rest.

PARTNER OPTION 2: LEGS UP THE WALL POSE (VIPARITA KARANI) Set a firm pillow lengthwise against the wall. Sit on the left end of the pillow with your right shoulder near the wall. Lower your left elbow to the floor and scoot your hips and gluteus toward the wall. Get even lower, again scooting hips closer to the wall, until you are lying on your left side with gluteus flush against the wall. Bring your feet upward as your roll onto your back. To come out of the pose, bend your knees and roll onto your left side. Stay for a few minutes before coming up to a comfortable seat. Likewise, remain seated for a few minutes before standing. Remember to clear all positions with your care provider before beginning. For example, those with blood pressure issues may want to avoid this posture.

4 YOGA FOR SECOND STAGE LABOR PUSHING Once you’re done with early labor, active labor, and transition, your labor will move into second stage labor, otherwise known as pushing.

Positions for Pushing What is the correct position for pushing? Whatever position feels right. Use any position for pushing that your body is drawn to. Most postures shown in the book would be useful for the baby’s descent down the birth canal. You could also try standing, seated, or leaning forward positions not listed in this book. Use your intuition and move with your body as the dance of labor progresses. Surrender to the process and remain open to trying different positions. If something doesn’t feel like it is working, try a new position. Listen to your inner guide, your birth support staff, and your baby—they will show you the way.

Positions to Avoid for Pushing Listen to your birthing staff and discuss which positions would be helpful for you in your pushing phase. Every labor is unique and every woman’s body is unique. Baby positioning may also affect which postures are appropriate for pushing. There are many variables at play, so make sure to work with your care provider for your specific situation. As far as the positions in this book, women may specifically want to avoid the Foot Massage pose (see page 41) for the pushing stage as it is a reclined posture and may make birthing the baby through the bony pelvis less intuitive.

Squatting I suggest squatting as the main position for pushing in this book because it opens the pelvis up wide, allowing the baby’s head to more easily pass through the pelvis. If squatting is difficult for you, practice for a few minutes each day. Roll up a towel and place it under your heels if your heels do not meet the earth, or sit on a chair or stool. The squatting shape of the pelvis can also be achieved while sitting on a block or a stool as you practice this shape.

Pushing

Squat While this position can be practiced at any stage of labor, it is especially helpful during the pushing phase. Squatting opens the pelvis and allows for downward gravity to take its course. For thousands of years, women have been squatting to give birth. In today’s modern society, squatting is not part of our daily routine. I suggest squatting once a day to prepare the body for this posture. I also suggest using a birthing stool during labor to give support in the squat. This will avoid fatiguing the legs and hips. Squat on a birthing stool, on the floor, or seated on a small block. If this puts stress on your legs, elevate the squat. If squatting on the floor, you can roll up a towel and place it under the heels if the heels do not meet the floor. Try using the Hum sound (see page 95). Feel the hum down in your belly. Baby loves this and loves your voice. Consider that you have the ability and strength as a mother to tell your baby it is okay and that you can’t wait to meet your new bundle of joy.

PUSHING INSPIRATION Allow the process of birth to take over, and let go. BIRTH PARTNERS Sit behind the mother, offering a place to lean back onto between contractions. Small strokes down the back may feel soothing or not; listen to the mother. Another option is to sit in front of the mother, allowing her to lean forward onto you during contractions. Between pushes, birth partners may want to offer the mother a cold wash cloth or ice chips.

Lean Forward (On Pillow, Birthing Tub, or Partner) This position was already listed earlier in this book (see page 43), but it is shown here again to remind you that it could be useful in pushing. By leaning forward onto support, you have something to hang onto for comfort. Find a comfortable position in which you can easily and safely lean forward. Options could be sitting on a birthing stool, on the edge of a chair facing a pillow on a bed, or squatting on a stool or a block. Place a pillow in front of you, lean forward onto birthing tub, or lean on your birthing partner. Rest forward into the support or pillow. Find a comfortable resting place for the arms and head. Breathe evenly and calmly. Let your mind be restful and clear, releasing all tension, or focus on a chosen meditation or affirmation.

BIRTH PARTNERS Ask your mother what she needs, and listen. Offer things that you spoke about before the birth that may help her through this moment, such as a cold wash cloth, simple cues for breathing (1, 2), or affirmations. If she needs quiet, consider that simply your presence and availability as a support person in her labor may already be enough, making her feel safe and grounded.

Journal Exercise

What Do You Think Would Be Comfortable? Choose three poses alone, without the help of your birth partner. These can be poses listed in this book, or new poses that you think would be comfortable during labor. Choose one accompanying meditation, breathing, or sound exercise to go with each pose. Practice each pose alone, without your birth partner. After you are done, write the poses down. Identify what stage of labor you think each pose would fit best for your labor, and why. Choose three poses together with your birth partner. These can be poses listed in this book or new poses that you think would be comfortable during labor. Talk about different options your partner could offer in each of these poses and choose one meditation, breathing practice, or sound from this book that could go with each pose. Then practice each pose in earnest. Stop talking for a moment and allow the quiet of the room to take over. Listen to your breath. Do this for all three poses with your partner. Write the three poses down. Draw stick figures of the poses so that you have them at your fingertips during labor.

5 LABOR MEDITATIONS MEDITATION STILLS THE MIND One of the most famous and fundamental yoga sutras is “yogas citta-vrittinirodhah,” meaning that the goal of yoga is to stop or halt the constant churnings of the mind. The physical practice of yoga positions, breath practices, and meditations are ways to lead us toward a restful mind, eventually seeing the world through clear, unobstructed vision and observing it without judgment or suffering. Through the birthing experience and in life, it is easy to let our minds get away from us. Instead of seeing a situation clearly, our minds can rush out into different scenarios and attachments based on our experiences of the world and our own personal hang-ups. Yoga and meditation can help stop these movements of the mind until our thoughts cease and the mind becomes like a clear, still lake. The ultimate, but profound, beauty of yoga is that it can teach us to simply be wherever we are in the present moment. By harnessing the power of meditation, we can train our minds and bodies to come to a

place of non-judgment about our current circumstances.

Reactions to Pain and the Difference Between Pain and Sensation Different people react to pain in different ways. For some, when our bodies experience strong sensation, our minds can spin out with rapid movement. Thoughts racing, our bodies can then respond by tightening. Our minds can go to panic, fear, or other places. Think about the last time you experienced pain. How did you react? Perhaps you stubbed your toe on a coffee table. How quickly did your body clench up against that sensation? What was your mind doing? Did it immediately go to a place of anger and frustration? Perhaps it went to a place of helplessness. Or perhaps your mind panicked, saying, “This feeling is never going to go away,” “What if it gets worse?” or “Make it stop.” Our minds are conditioned to react to pain in a negative way. This is a natural reaction that serves our survival and well-being. In general, when our body feels pain, something is going wrong with the body, turning on alarms in our mind. However, sensation in labor is not the same as pain due to injury. Contractions are helpful in moving the baby down. This requires a monumental shift in thinking. When you feel a contraction, these are usually productive sensations. We need to train our minds to realize that these strong sensations can be positive. They move you one minute closer to holding your baby in your arms. How can we calm the mind during these sensations when it wants to spin out into worry and fear? One great option is meditation. Meditation was far and away the most valuable tool in my birth. There is no escape or running away from the sensations of labor: you have to move through them. Meditation can help us allow the productive but difficult waves to roll by, letting go of the control we so often seek in our comfortable lives and letting the powerful process of birth unfold. Cultivating trust in the process with meditation will help you remind yourself during labor that the sensations are natural. Slowing the mind and working with meditations and breath will bring your body out of a state of panic and into a calmer, more grounded place.

Will My Labor Be Pain-Free if I Meditate?

Some books will promise you a pain-free birth, with roses on the windowsills and a spa-like relaxation experience if you use the right breathing or affirmations. You won’t hear me saying that in my book. That was not my personal experience and is not what I teach. Birthing is a massive transition and it is somewhat fitting that it is likewise challenging. Birth takes a lot of blood, sweat, tears, and letting go. That said, I did find my own special beauty, joy, and gratitude in my birth experience as I breathed through the intense sensations of labor, using my meditations to help me get through them. Birthing my daughter made me stronger. But make no mistake, it was hard work. I had to have faith that everything would be okay. The deep trust of my birth staff and birth partners listening to my needs, plus my meditations, helped me get through it.

Three Steps to Successful Labor Meditation There were three things that made meditation during labor successful for me. Step 1: Practice Consistently The meditations I used in my labor were the ones I practiced consistently throughout my pregnancy. My mind remembered that these things were connected to a deep sense of calm. I practiced the meditation at the beginning of my yoga session as I settled onto my mat and let the busy world of my day go. I practiced it again at the end of my session when my body was calm and my mind was clear. You can do this at the end of your yoga practice or your birthing poses practice by either lying down in a restorative pose, or by sitting upright in a comfortable seated pose of your choice. In general, you will use in labor whatever you practice ahead of time. Set up a schedule for yourself and practice your meditations every morning or evening, or even just once a week. The key is repetition, which will help you create connection with your practice. Step 2: Moving Hands The second thing that helped meditation calm my mind during labor was the concept of moving hands. When you mindfully move your hands through the air during meditation, you can physically move your energy. During my labor, as I gathered my hands and drew them in toward my body, I felt that I was sweeping the energy and all thoughts in my mind together and drawing them down to my heart. It was the meditative equivalent of the deep breath that people often take in difficult circumstances or when trying to calm

themselves when reacting to something. Gathering my energy and all the thoughts in my worried mind and grounding them down to my heart had a profound and immediately calming effect on my body and mind. Instead of feeling fearful of the sensations and letting my mind take over, there was now room for faith and trust in the process. With my mind calm, I could override the knee-jerk reaction of clenching in the body against the sensation, and instead allow it to unfold and pass through. This allowed my belly to do the productive work it needed to do, as I continued to faithfully try and get my mind out of the way. Some women may prefer to keep their hands still during their labor and may find moving their hands agitating. Some may choose to use sound meditations, either with hands or without. Some women may scream and stomp during labor. My overall message is to do whatever feels right. Whatever helps you get through a contraction is the perfect thing to do. Step 3: Training the Mind The third and final key to successful use of meditation for my birth was practice of breathing and meditation techniques during actual, real-life situations. If I stubbed my toe, I would use that as an opportunity to settle my mind instead of spinning into panic. When I got leg or foot cramps in the middle of the night, I would practice responding with breathing and meditation. As a first step, next time you experience pain, try noticing what your mind does instead of reacting. Look at the situation as an outsider, instead of being attached to what is happening in the body, reacting, and letting the mind spin out. Take a deep breath. Breathe into the area where you feel sensation. Remind yourself that this sensation will pass. Focus the mind on one of the meditations in this book and allow the sensation to dissipate. Some books recommend using an ice cube as a gentle but non-life threatening sensation as a practice tool, holding it in your hand for the length of a contraction. If no natural discomforts arise in your life, you could try this method while either practicing one of the meditations in this book or simply working with keeping your breathing even and smooth until the timer runs out. Whether the sensation is naturally-occurring or fabricated, you will get through whatever sensation you are feeling, just as you will get through labor and delivery, and it will end. Keep your meditation going and remind

yourself of this yogic secret: All situations are impermanent, even if they don’t feel that way in the present moment. Ride the wave until it passes. There is nothing that is constant on earth; everything is ever-changing. Remind yourself too that mothers across the world have done this since the beginning of humankind. Even if you doubt yourself at times, you too will get through labor. As a mentor, I see one of my main roles being to simply make sure that mothers know this vital truth, instilling them with trust and faith in the birth process.

“Meditation” Can Be Anything That Calms You I put forth several meditations in this book, and you may have also learned some breathing or calming practices in your own yoga class. In truth, meditation can be anything that calms you. Be aware of your own reactions and start to notice habits or things that bring you back to neutral. Start practicing these things regularly and making them part of your daily life. When the day of labor comes, these are more items to pull from in your toolbox.

How to Practice Meditation and How to Sit You can practice meditation in a comfortable seated posture like Sukhasana (Cross-Legged pose) or Virasana (seated upright with tailbone on a few firm pillows, knees bent with shoelace side of the foot on the floor: see page 64 for a visual example). You can also practice your meditation in Side-lying Pose (see page 45). Whatever position you choose, use pillows to support and prop yourself up so that your body is comfortable and relaxed. In your third trimester, you may wish to practice your meditations in actual birthing positions. Over time your mind will begin to relate the meditation with a deep sense of calm. In labor you will feel comforted by these practices as your mind associates them with relaxation. During labor, you can use these practices no matter what position your body calls for. Listen to your body and move in whatever way it is asking you, then call upon the meditation you most personally connect with.

Meditations

Mother Hands Meditation This meditation gets energy moving as you call upon the hands of the world. Make sure to counter that vast energy by pulling your hands back down to the earth at your heart. As you hold your hands at your heart, ground yourself and let yourself be rooted as you feel love and support. Tucking your chin slightly when hands are at heart can also help you move inward and maintain connection with your own body. Sit in a comfortable seated pose. I suggest either Virasana seated on a firm pillow on the floor (as pictured on the facing page) or simply sitting upright on the edge of a bed or a chair. Take two minutes to connect with your breath and get grounded. On an inhale, raise your arms out to the side and up to the sky. On exhale, draw your hands down to prayer pose in front of your chest. Continue this motion of reaching out to the sides and up, and then drawing the hands together and down to the heart. Move your hands with your breath. Imagine your hands as movers of energy. As they move up, they draw energy up between the hands. As they pull down to the chest, they draw that energy to a grounded place. Once you have this practice established, imagine your hands are accompanied by the hands of all the mothers that have gone before you on this path. As you sweep your hands in this motion, their hands are there too. Imagine the hands of the mothers in your city, in your country, and across the world. As you inhale your hands to the sky, imagine hands of different sizes, colors, and shapes. As you pull your hands down, exhale and pull that support in to rest at your heart. Use their wisdom, experience, and guidance. Those that have gone before you on this path can offer you the courage, confidence, and strength you need to walk the path of birth and motherhood. To finish, hold your hands at your heart, with the pinky-side of your hands touching and a small space cupped between the center of your hands. Imagine holding all of that love, support, and compassion in the space between your

hands. Stay in this space of loving compassion for as long as you like. If your mind wanders, bring it back to your breath.

ABOUT MOTHER HANDS MEDITATION In labor, I found that meditations using only the mind with no physical motion were difficult for me to focus on. I needed a movement of the hands to gather my energy and ground it. This type of meditation fulfills that need. However, other mothers may feel differently and want to be still with no movement. Honor your own body and feelings during labor. Try practicing this when you are angry or your mind is riled up. See if it calms you. Or, try practicing it before your nightly yoga routine or labor practice session. Your mind will remember this when you are in labor. Partners can also practice this meditation. I recommend this so they fully internalize the meditation and can help offer it to the mother during labor. Partners can alter the meditation by instead thinking of the hands of all the kind and loving partners that have supported pregnant mothers through time, and their new hands adding to this.

Downward Meditation Connecting with the idea of downward energy helps to relax the lower body, calm the mind, and root you to the earth. Try this meditation in Squat pose (see page 51) if you are close to your due date and have been given the goahead from your care provider that your baby is ready to deliver. Find a comfortable pose. This meditation can be done in almost any upright position. A few options are: a comfortable, cross-legged seat on a firm pillow, Virasana (see visual example on page 64), Downward Facing Dog at the Wall Forearm Variation (see page 35), Hug pose (see page 37), Leanforward pose (see page 43/53), or Squat pose (see page 51). Take a few minutes to get grounded. Feel your body connect down into the earth and the support of your props. Feel the crown of your head lengthen as your spine gets tall, while remaining grounded into your seat. Breathe evenly in and out through your nose. Draw your breath down into your belly, encouraging a feeling of fullness and contentment. With each exhale, release any tension or holding on. On inhale, imagine your breath traveling down into your belly. Relax the pelvic floor. Move your energy down toward the ground. On exhale, continue this downward motion and relaxing of the pelvic floor. Weight your tailbone to the earth. Let your lower body be heavy and relaxed. Sense and visualize the ground below you, through the floorboards, and all the way down into the soil. Grow roots into the earth. Move your lower body downwards. Every so often, lengthen up through the crown of the head and the upper body to help maintain an elongated spine. Roll your shoulders down the back to open the chest. If you would like to add motion with hands, try gently sweeping your face with your palms. Start with palms at the chin or eyes. Move your palms up toward your forehead on inhale, and then out and down the outside edge of your face on exhale.

WHEN TO PRACTICE DOWNWARD MEDITATION I suggest only practicing this meditation in the third trimester, and perhaps even only during your care provider's approved birthing due date window, because it is a tool to help you move the baby down and out of the birth canal. If you wish to practice this earlier in your pregnancy, alter the exhale portion of the meditation. Instead of releasing downward and relaxing the pelvic floor on your exhales, contain and contract the pelvic floor upward on the exhale. This will balance out the downward movement of the inhale with some upward containment while also toning and strengthening the pelvic floor.

Hands Over Eyes Meditation This is a great meditation to practice with a birth partner. Have them read the text aloud to you as you sink into the support of your props. Place two pillows stacked up on the floor or on the bed in front of you. Make space for your belly and baby by opening the knees wide while drawing the toes together behind you. Place your palms over your eyes and lean forward with your elbows resting on the pillows. Your birth partner can sit next to you and make soft strokes down along your back if you like. Have your birth partner read the text below out loud. (If you don’t have a birth partner, record your own voice and play it back as you listen and relax.) “Breathe down into your belly. Imagine your body relaxing and releasing. Focus on your breath. In... out... Let your eyes fall back behind your hands. Let your jaw relax. All you have to do is breathe: in... out... one… two… Slow and steady. Let go of anything you’re holding on to. Trust yourself and trust the process. Pass this trust onto your (our) baby, letting them know that everything is okay.”

Focal Point Meditation Focusing on one specific thing will help ease your mind during contractions. This meditation is especially helpful during or after transition when labor is at its most intense and internal place. This meditation can be done in any position. Let your inhales and exhales be natural and even. Find one specific thing to focus on. This could be a visual focus point or a verbal mantra: Visual Focal Point If you’re choosing a visual focal point, it could be anything in your home or birthing room. Focus your eyes intently on that one item. Keep your gaze steady and soft. You may even want to touch the item if this feels helpful in the moment. Visual Focal Point Ideas: A pattern or thread on a pillow or blanket The charm on a necklace A hand-drawn labyrinth A smooth stone The button on a shirt Verbal Mantra or Sound as Focus Point If you’re choosing sound as your focus point, choose one or two words that you can repeat over and over, a short chant, a favorite line or poem, a birthing affirmation, or even just simply a low sound such as a hum. Breathe evenly. Release and let go of tension with each chant or low hum. Find an even rhythm, surrendering to the moment and the repetition of the sound.

Journal Exercise

Discovering Meditations Present in Your Life Consider relaxing elements that are already present in your life: Do you take a yoga class that repeats a particular meditation every week? Do you practice a certain yoga or other breathing technique regularly? Do you have a favorite calming music album? Do you have a life partner, and is there a special connection or thing that you say or do with each other in difficult times of need or when you feel sick? Do you love the smell of chicken soup, lavender scent, or something else? What calms you in times of stress? What comforts you when you are sick? Write down at least five calming practices already present in your life.

6 PRANAYAMA FOR LABOR WHAT IS PRANA? Prana is the internal life force in your body, the unseen energetic pathways, and one of the sheaths of your being. Prana is everywhere—in nature as well as in us.

The Eight Limbs of Yoga and Where Pranayama Fits In Pranayama is the fourth limb within the eight limbs of yoga. The full eight limbs contain the yamas (external behaviors), the niyamas (internal selfdisciplines), asana (the physical postures of yoga), pranayama (breath control and energetic pathways), pratyahara (internal focus and withdrawal of the senses), dharana (meditation concentrating the mind on one unmoving thing), and dhyana (meditation in a pure state, with open awareness and concentration not on one thing but on all). The eight limbs move from external to internal, and they are listed in a specific order. For example, it is said that one must observe and practice the

yamas and niyamas before effectively practicing asana. One must practice asana before tuning into pranayama. One must have freely flowing prana, or lifeforce, to still the mind and practice dharana. For the purpose of labor and birthing, the idea of prana has already been sneakily introduced in the meditation chapter of this book. Mother Hands meditation (see page 65) links your breath to your hands to settle the mind. Downward Meditation (see page 67) stabilizes your energy and grounds you to the earth. These meditations help us learn to feel, observe, and work with prana.

Pranayama in Yoga Class Because prana is closely linked to our breath, when yoga teachers talk about pranayama in your yoga class, they are most often simply talking about breathing techniques. Different breathing methods can be called upon for different situations or needs. This chapter will provide you with a few pranayama breathing techniques for pregnant mothers, giving you a way to settle your body by using your breath. During labor, your focus may wander, and your mind may spin out into various thoughts. Breathing techniques can help guide mothers back to a focused place of strength, and back to the determination and faith residing within themselves. As you reconnect to your body using your breath, everything else will fall away and you will be back “in” yourself, firmly rooted, ready to let come whatever comes.

The Truth About Partner-Guided Breathing and Support Complicated pranayama and breathing practices can be very helpful in labor, in yoga, and in life. But from one mother to another, the only thing I truly needed during labor was a simple “in, out”— clear and steady guidance and a reminder to breathe, but nothing fancier than that. When labor got really tough, my mother, who was a Lamaze teacher once upon a time, helped me by giving me a visual focal point. She had me look at a little pink string on a baby blanket she had made for me. “Are you looking at it?” she said. Yes! Believe me, I was looking at it. I was ready to listen to anything by then and was grateful for guidance in a time where control was going out the window. Then she did something revolutionary. She said, “Breathe in and out with me. One. Two. One. Two.” It was slow, steady, and completely simple.

Nothing fancy—she just counted. I counted with her. One. Two. One. Two. She followed the rhythm of my breath and slowed it down to something natural to match my pace, instead forcing a rhythm on me. The world was spinning around me, and this was the moment when I completely surrendered to the process. There was no way out but through. I listened to my mother, and put one foot (or breath) in front of the other, so to speak. One. Two. All I needed to do was to keep breathing, one breath at a time, and my body would do the rest. Guess what, birthing partners? This might be all the breathing guidance you need to provide. Sometimes simple is better. Your role is that of a lighthouse in stormy weather. It may not be easy. You may not know what to say, or what kind of breathing to offer that will help your pregnant mom. I suggest keeping it simple. Practice this “one, two” ahead of time during your regular birthing practice time together.

Pranayama

Hands on Ribs, Hands on Low Back, Hands on Belly Sit in any comfortable pose. Take a minute to get grounded, closing your eyes and finding a natural, even breath. Place your hands around your ribs, with thumbs wrapping toward the back of your torso and fingers facing front. Find a steady rhythm of breath, with an even inhale and an even exhale, feeling your ribs rise and fall under your hands. The ribs are a circular cage. Often we draw breath more into the front or the back of the ribs. Think of filling the whole circumference of the ribcage with your breath, filling the front, back, and sides evenly. Place your hands on your low back. Breathe into your hands with a natural inhale and exhale. Trust yourself, and your body. Draw your focus and awareness inward. Let your mind calm, and let your eyes, face, and jaw relax. Place both hands on your belly. Nourish and fill your baby and body with breath. Fill your hands with joy. Feel your belly rise and fall. Connect with your baby, with each breath offering love and fulfillment.

Calming Belly Breath Sit comfortably or choose one of the birthing positions in this book. Close your eyes. Start to notice your breath without trying to alter it. Do this for a few minutes to ground yourself as you let the worries of your day fall away. Hands can be in whatever position feels natural and comfortable. On an inhale, draw your breath down and into your low belly, filling and expanding the low body. Feel your belly rise. On exhale, feel the fall of the belly as it empties. Count to four on inhale and four on exhale, finding an even pace of breath that feels comfortable and easy. Do not force your breath or hold your breath for too long. Instead, count at whatever pace creates a natural and even breath for you.

PRANAYAMA TIP In all of these practices, make sure you bring enough breath into your body to support your pregnant body and baby. Avoid holding your breath or doing other breathing techniques that may not be right for you during this stage of life when you are supporting a second being's ecosystem. On the other hand, also avoid over-breathing or filling yourself so full that you get dizzy. Find a happy medium, a natural breath that supports your body and baby.

Partner-Guided Breathing Choose one of the partner birthing positions in this book. Mothers should close their eyes and relax. Partners should listen to the mother’s breath. If in hug pose, feel the rise and fall of her ribcage. If she is in lean forward or wide-knee child’s pose, watch the rise and fall of her back. Eventually, start counting with her breath. Say “one” on inhale and “two” on exhale. Tailor your counting to her pace so that you don’t rush or slow her down.

Journal Exercise

Pranayama Practice Try one of the pranayama exercises on the previous pages. What do you notice in your body? How did it make you feel? How does it make your baby feel?

7 VERBALIZATIONS AND MANTRAS ABOUT SOUND Sound is a powerful tool to use during birth. It can move prana, clear the mind, and connect you with an unseen, vibrational universe. Sound can calm your baby and reassure them that everything is okay. It can make feelings of anxiousness dissipate, both for you and your baby. If you practice sounds in the months leading up to your labor, your baby may remember that feeling and be reassured by your voice when you repeat those calming noises during labor. When I teach postnatal yoga classes, it can get a little hectic, with babies on blankets next to their mommies expressing themselves with cries and coos. Sometimes in the middle of class, I’ll have all the mothers chant “Om” in unison. Invariably, the entire room gets quiet. You can feel the energy of the room settle. In yoga, mantra is a Sanskrit word referring to words spoken aloud and chanting. The literal translation of the Sanskrit root man is “mind” and tras is

“protector.” There are many chants and mantras that you can find in your studies of yoga in books or online. I offer simple verbalizations in this chapter. Sound need not be complicated to calm the mind. Later in this book you will develop your own affirmations. Affirmations are essentially homemade mantras that are tailored to you, using words that you connect with. These can be said internally or out loud. The following verbalizations are useful in labor, and also in life. Parenting holds many challenges. Use these sound practices to calm yourself, to center your mind when tired, or to help calm and soothe your baby.

Communication A related sister to sound, communication requires you to use your voice. It is important to feel safe, open, and able to communicate your needs during labor. Your partner is there to support you. Your doula and healthcare provider are hired professionals that you brought into the process to help you make decisions if needed. Ask for what you need. Ask for what your baby needs. If you aren’t getting it, ask louder! Use this beautiful voice that women before your time fought hard to free and utilize. Creating a birth plan is a great way to think through your wishes before you are in the middle of childbirth. Birth plans are one-page documents that communicate your wishes clearly to family and staff. Labor takes you to an internal place of focus. Providing a birth plan to your team encourages open communication and allows you to feel trust in yourself and the decisions you have already made. Remember that yoga wisdom also tells us not to overattach to birth plans. Be open to the path that unfolds for you, whatever that may be, in your present moment. Partner communication is a key component to feeling safe and open during labor. Your partner can be a trusted source, especially if you take time in advance to create an open and trusting dialogue. The journal exercise about communication at the end of this chapter is for both mothers and partners. You should each have a notebook and a pen, as well as a comfortable place to sit. Grab a cup of herbal tea, and enjoy this time to get to know your partner a little better.

Sound

Om Om is a profound mantra to be revisited frequently in your practice. Om is at the beginning and end of every chant, and is also frequently spoken at both the beginning and ending of yoga practice. Om connects you with the universe, making you feel both huge and small at the same time. Start making your Om sound from the back of your mouth and base of your body, with the breath coming from your belly. Move forward to the center of your mouth, smoothly transitioning to a more open “oh” sound. When you do this, breath moves up from the belly, more into the chest. Move forward in your mouth to an “m” sound near the lips, the breath also moving—up to the throat and then to the lips. If you are familiar with the chakras, as you Om you can imagine moving from your root chakra up to your crown.

Hum Humming calms and grounds your body. Practice this in your birthing poses ahead of time, or at the beginning or end of your yoga practice. Make a low “hum” sound with lips gently closed. Feel your entire body settle. As you hum, let everything else fall away.

Ahh This is a freeing sound to use to release tension. You can use this sound in any pose in this book. Start high and move to low, making the sound “Ahhhhhh.” Hold the low sound at the end for a few moments. Repeat several times until you feel like you want to rest in silence.

Communication Exercise

Birth Partner Journal and Speaking Exercise Both mother and partner should journal on the following questions for a five full minutes: What calms you? What takes you to a place of peace in body, mind, and spirit? If you still have time remaining, partners could journal on what calming things they could offer during labor to the mother. Mothers could journal on what they feel would help them during contractions. Once you have completed journaling, each partner will speak for three minutes, describing what they wrote down and what calms them. The partner that is listening will do just that—listen. They will not form internal dialogues about their response; they will simply listen to the other party speak. When the three minutes are up, switch roles. After you have each completed three minutes of speaking, take a few minutes to talk about this experience, what you learned from each other, and how it felt to share in this manner.

8 BIRTH AFFIRMATIONS WHAT ARE AFFIRMATIONS? Affirmations are short, written sayings that give you confidence and strength during labor. Similar to mantras and sounds, they can be repeated during labor out loud or internally. You can find birth affirmations online and in books, choose favorite famous quotes or quotes from those you love, or develop your own. When you find phrases, quotes, or words you connect with, keep them on a post-it on your fridge or by your desk. Along with practicing your meditations, postures, and breath work, include affirmations as part of your regular prenatal practice regimen.

Uses for Affirmations Developing your list of affirmations is a chance to mentally prepare for labor, help you let go of any fears about the upcoming event, and find words and phrases that you connect with. Making a list of affirmations can also prepare you for the time of change after the birth. You’re becoming a parent—a life

transition not to be underemphasized. On this journey you will be faced with new responsibilities, moving through difficult choices, and facing your fears. The journey can seem challenging at times, but it is also plentiful with opportunities for self-growth. Your affirmations are one tool that can help you through this time of change.

The Importance of Practicing Affirmations Affirmations should be practiced frequently along with your yoga postures and meditations. Print them out and have them on hand for the upcoming day. Birth partners should be aware of where this list of affirmations is located and offer it during labor. Something unexpected may speak to you in labor, so remember not to get over-attached to your list. During my labor, one phrase came to mind clearly for me. It was something my screenwriting mentor had said about writing, which I kept on a small piece of paper by my writing desk. For me the phrase meant that the only way to truly get to the end of something difficult, whether trying to finish a written work or birth a baby, was to shore yourself up and keep going. That phrase is what came to me in labor. I drew strength and comfort in it. The reason this spoke to me so clearly was because it was something from my life that I deeply connected to. I had already used the phrase several times to move through struggles and come out on the other side. I invite you to write your affirmations in a visible place and start to connect with them in your daily life. Remember, what you practice and what you make part of your daily existence is what you will use when the day comes.

Partner Responsibility If you are open to sharing your affirmations with your birthing partner, partners should be in charge of making sure that the paper with the affirmations makes it to the labor facility and is easy to locate. I suggest writing them directly in this book or taping them to an inside page so that they do not get lost. Mothers may forget that they wrote affirmations or that they are even an available tool in their toolbox when they are in the thick of contractions. Birth partners can come to the rescue by having affirmations on hand and reminding the mother during labor that the affirmations are there. Partners can ask if she would like any read out loud to her. If the answer is no, respect

that and put them aside. Just knowing that they are there and that she is being cared for can make a mother feel taken care of and help her with the experience she is going through.

Affirmations Affirmations should speak to your heart and soul. On the following page, complete the affirmation-creation exercise to discover and create affirmations that you most connect with. Below is a list of affirmations to get you started.

In birth there is a door, a threshold, and this is your time to walk through that door. You WILL come out on the other side. You are part of something bigger than yourself. Women throughout time have done this, and you can too. You will be okay. Your (our) baby is healthy. This process is natural. You are strong. You know what to do. The path will reveal itself to you, one breath at a time. Your only job is to relax and let it happen. Trust yourself. Trust your (our) baby. Each contraction moves you closer to holding your baby.

Journal Exercise

Creating Affirmations When you write out your own affirmations during this exercise, think about how you might feel and what you might need during labor. Do you need a warrior's call to action, something to help you move through fear? Do you need something calming, reassuring, and grounding? Are you drawn to phrases that simply remind you to live in the present moment? Maybe you want to connect with your baby, or pass a feeling of trust to them. Listen to what you are drawn to and then run with that. Don't overthink it. Listen to your intuition. Read the affirmations on the previous page out loud (alone or with your birth partner). Now that you've read them out loud, you (and birth partner, if participating) can journal ideas for your own affirmations for ten minutes. If you’re having trouble getting started, think about what phrases you have you heard that you connect to or that relate to any of the following: passing through a doorway crossing a threshold accomplishing something difficult remaining calm focusing your mind surrendering to something bigger than yourself Note: While I suggest mothers focus their affirmations specifically on the birth experience, if partners are participating, they can write affirmations either for the labor or for parenting in general. When you are finished journaling, discuss or reflect on what you've written. If your affirmations are private, that is okay too. Hold them in your heart and internally recite them often.

9 PARTNER MASSAGE THE ROLE OF MASSAGE FOR PARTNERS In my yoga workshops and lessons, I have seen birth partners that are eager to help their pregnant charges but simply don’t know where to start. One great place to begin is with massage. I have yet to meet a pregnant mother who doesn’t relish a good massage from someone who cares. The aches and pains as a mother’s body goes through the transformation of pregnancy can be soothed with relaxing touch. Not all birth partners or mothers will want to use massage during the labor experience, but for those that do, this chapter can serve as a starting point, offering simple motions and movements of the hands. Birth partners that want to use massage during labor should learn and practice these techniques in the months preceding labor. At first, start with only five minutes of massage performed at the end of your labor practice sessions with the mother. Over time build up to twenty minutes or more. The muscles in your hands will become stronger each day. This will serve you when the time comes to comfort and soothe the aching mother during marathon contractions.

How to Give a Winning Massage The key to successful massage is communication. Ask what she likes or doesn’t like. How is the pressure—too light or too hard? Should you focus on one area or move to the next? The best way to find out is to ask. You can also use non-verbal cues to find out if what you are doing is soothing. Are her hands clenched or relaxed? Is her jaw tight or loose? A good rule of thumb for massage is to “find the soft areas.” For example, don’t massage directly on the spine; massage on either side of it. Massage muscle, not bone. If you find a hard area and you know you are in a muscle, you’ve probably hit a knot. If you feel these areas of tightness, give them extra attention. Ask your massage subject if the spot is sore or tender before pressing into it.

Take Care Near the Sacrum and Lower Back During pregnancy and for many months after, women have a hormone called relaxin in their system. This makes their ligaments more flexible than normal, and things may move more than they should. Be mindful of this and take extra caution around the sacrum and pelvis. Also, don’t press directly on the middle of sacrum, but instead just around the edges of it. It is wise to be gentle in this area, since it is a sensitive area and can affect the entire spine. It is also wise to be gentle near the lower back lumbar area. As you move down her spine and past her ribs, you will notice a natural curve of the back. These vertebrae, L1 to L5, are some of the most susceptible to injury and can also be tender. If she is having recurring pain in the sacrum area, lumbar spine, or any part of the pelvis or back, seek guidance from a professional physical therapist. Often there are simple exercises that can be done to realign the bones or to strengthen areas of weakness that may be causing pain. A physical therapist can evaluate her pelvis and speak to her specific needs, pinpointing exactly which muscles need attention.

Massage Positioning and Alignment Side-lying pose featured in this book, with the mother lying on her side, is an ideal position for massage. Birth partners should place a chair next to the bed and sit up straight before beginning the massage. Alternate the way the birth partner is seated so as to not favor one side over the other. This will help prevent fatigue in the neck and arms. A second option for massage positioning is Lean Forward pose with the mother sitting straddled on a chair. The partner can comfortably sit at the same height on a chair behind her to work on her back. Mother should have legs wide and be seated far enough back to make plenty of room for baby. The mother’s belly should not ever press into the chair back. Keep open space in front of the belly at all times. Birth partners should remember to work with good alignment in their bodies while they massage. Although your arms will be extended, try not to hunch your shoulders. Instead, roll the shoulders up, back, and down to keep the upper arm bones firmly in their sockets. Instead of jutting your chin out, draw the chin back. Instead of curving the back when you lean over, straighten your back and bend from the waist. These simple alignment tips will help prevent unnecessary muscle fatigue.

Research Acupressure Points Ahead of Time When massaging pregnant women, be aware that there are acupressure points that may activate labor. Avoid these pressure points, especially if the woman has not been given the go-ahead by her health care provider and is not in her approved labor window. I recommend researching acupressure points and learning some of the key points that relate to birth. These points should NOT be pressed during pregnancy and should be cleared by your childcare provider prior to use before or during labor.

Massage Techniques Back Strokes Place your palm at the top of her back, just to the right of the her spine. Make a long, downward stroke along this channel all the way down to her tailbone. Just before your hand completes this motion, place your left hand at the top on the left side. Continue this fluid downward motion, replacing one hand

with the next to keep consistent contact with the back.

Hip/Gluteus Circles Place the base of your palms to just either side of her spine, right below the top of the gluteus. Make a sweeping, circular motion outwards and down. Lift the hands, place them again in the center at their starting point, and repeat the motion.

Sacrum Circles Press your thumbs gently on either side of the top of the sacrum. Make tiny, gentle circles moving up, out, down, and around without lifting the thumb. Both thumbs should go up and out, so they will be moving away from each other, and then moving toward each other again as you complete the small circle. Lift the thumb and move it a quarter of an inch down. Repeat the small circles in this new spot. Continue with this process, making these small circles down the whole edge of the sacrum, feeling the muscles and grooves just to the outside of the inverted-triangle sacrum bone. Be gentle in this area due to relaxin and the sensitivity of the sacrum to the spine’s alignment.

Foot Massage Massaging the feet brings circulation to an area of the body that supports our entire frame. Press your thumb upward along the inner arch of the foot, starting at the heel and ending at the ball of the foot. Work your way from the base of the toe up to the end. Repeat with each toe. Pinch the space between the toes, making circles as you press into the grooves. Press directly on the heels of the foot or squeeze the heel of the foot. For a self foot massage without a birth partner, mothers can sit cross-legged. Use your hands to work your feet. If you find a specific spot with tension, use your elbow to gently press down. Remember to keep room for baby and avoid crunching the belly.

Hand Stretches Before and After Massage Massage can fatigue your hands. Work sparingly with your thumbs and alternate using your palms or even forearms instead. Below are some stretches to practice before and after giving a massage. These invite flexibility and release tension in the hands. You can do these individually or in the order listed below.

Wrist circles Circle your wrists in one direction. Reverse the circle to the other direction. Take a deep breath and sigh.

Open-Hands Stretch Interlace your fingers and extend your arms away from you in front of your body, with palms facing out. Breathe into your wide, open hands and allow them to expand and open. Keeping your hands interlaced, raise them over your head, with palms open to the sky.

Shoulder Circles Circle your shoulders from front to back. Start with small circles, and slowly work to larger circles, even circling the entire arm. If you hear clicking or popping, make smaller circles.

Chest Opener Interlace your hands behind your back and open the chest. Keep the chin pulled back. Let the stretch be in the upper body and shoulders; keep the low back steady and uninvolved.

Self-Hand Massage Massage your right hand, using your left thumb. Massage your palm from bottom to top, working from left to right. Massage between the webbing of your fingers, and then along the length of each finger. Breathe deep. Alternate hands. Practice an Open-Hands Stretch (see above) to release any remaining tension.

Resting Hands Place your hands in your lap. Palms can be face down to quiet the mind, or face up to awaken or clear your head. Close your eyes and allow yourself to rest for one full minute.

PART II YOGA PHILOSOPHY FOR LABOR AND PARENTING

10 YOGA PHILOSOPHY THE YOGA SUTRAS BY PATANJALI One of the most influential texts in yoga is The Yoga Sutras by Patanjali. This ancient text describes the eight limbs of yoga, the five hindrances, and other philosophical concepts core to the life view of a yogi. The lessons in the sutras have ideas that can apply to anyone, anywhere. They give people a way of looking at the world that can ease day-to-day suffering. Many of the lessons in yoga philosophy can directly apply to labor and delivery. These same things can also help us with our new role as parents.

Cease the Churning of the Mind The very first chapter of The Yoga Sutras presents the concept that yoga is, simply put, the cessation of the churnings of the mind. Consciousness is full of patterns and chains of thought. The goal of yoga is therefore to cease the motion of the mind. When the mind stops, only then can a person be fully in

the present moment. This kind of steady meditation asks us to let go of all attachments to the future or past. Getting to this place of absolute stillness in the mind where we let go of all worldly attachments takes practice. A consistent asana (physical) yoga practice and the observation and practice of all eight limbs of yoga are steps toward this goal. In this state of silence and observation, expectations about the past, present, or future fall away, suffering falls away, and we can observe the world purely like a calm lake reflecting the beauty of the landscape before us.

Attachment Much human suffering stems from attachment to outcomes. Attachments can be related to the past, present, or future. People form ideas about what they expect to happen, what they want to happen, or what should have happened. They may experience fear, anger, or hatred based on attachment to old stories about themselves or others. Maybe they feel pain and suffering because they don’t get what they want in the present. The line at the coffee shop was too long, or they didn’t get a good promotion at work. Maybe they are focused on the future, forming expectations that not only blind them to the present but also create traps of suffering for the future if those expectations are not met. All of these attachments create suffering, making it difficult to feel gratitude or see beauty in the present moment. The first goal of learning to work with unattachment is to notice when you are attached. Your own daily delights and disappointments stem from attachment to something. Perhaps action is not immediately needed. Instead, allow yourself to simply cultivate awareness of the small and large attachments in your life. When suffering (or joy) arises, try to uncover what outcome you are attached to. Once you begin to notice these things in your daily life, you can then slowly reduce your attachments in a conscious way to make your life more peaceful. With each attachment that you can let go of, you also let go of the suffering related to that attachment. Of course, life on earth comes replete with attachments and suffering. No one person can eliminate all suffering in their life, nor am I recommending that someone would want to. Suffering and joy are part of the human experience. However, with these techniques, you can live your life with a higher level of awareness and feel more fully your experience on this great earth. Parenting gives us ample opportunities for practicing letting go of

attachments. When my daughter was young, I often tried to put her to sleep with high hopes of having a few moments to myself in the evening. Sometimes this went as planned, and I snuck out of the bedroom to practice Viparita Karani or Legs Up the Wall pose (see page 45) or read a magazine before crawling into bed and getting some much needed rest. Other nights things didn’t go quite as smoothly. When she didn’t go to sleep quickly, I felt upset, trapped, stressed out, and didn’t know what to do. These feelings were compounded by exhaustion. Why did I get so frustrated? Because I was attached to my view of how my evening should go. My mind was full of motion, churning about the five bottles I had to wash in the sink and the three shirts I lost to spit-up earlier in the morning. My mind was so focused on the past and the future that I was not living in the present. I would then get attached to a projection of what I wanted to happen next, instead of living in the present moment and allowing it to unfold without attachment. You have to practice the concept of non-attachment daily. When your child is awake at three in the morning, practice non-attachment. When you child throws their milk on the floor, practice non-attachment. Practice, practice, practice. On those late nights by their bedside, let go of your expectations, and just be. Find ways to support yourself, be kind to yourself. Keep a tennis ball by the bed and roll it under your feet, or practice gentle yoga poses. Listen to an audio book to keep your mind occupied. If you need a break, leave the room. Allow yourself to relax. Allow yourself to cry! Be kind to yourself, as only you can be, during these times. One thing that helps me with non-attachment is looking at the situation from the eyes of my child. If they spill milk on the floor, your child is not trying to make your day more difficult. Next time, set them up for success instead of failure: place a mat on the floor that you are okay with them getting dirty, and allow them to be a child. Make cleaning up the floor part of your daily routine after lunch. As they get to be three and four years old, some manners and consequences can be introduced, but a 10-month-old requires a different routine and forgiveness. This process isn’t a cure-all, but it can provide perspective. It doesn’t mean you won’t ever get frustrated or exhausted. But it can reduce your suffering and on a few nights, maybe even change your attitude to a point of ease, settling into the role of parent and enjoying the moments together with your

child while you can. Eventually they will grow up, and it happens quickly.

Meditation to Cultivate a Peaceful Mind Practicing meditation is an excellent way to cultivate a calm mind. Include five to ten minutes of peaceful meditation in your day. Focus only on your breath and allow your mind to clear. I had a difficult time meditating when my daughter was very young. We had a tangible mental connection. It happened every time: she could be three rooms away, but as soon as I sat down and cleared my mind, she would wake up from her nap. I’m not sure why this was. I think perhaps that meditating changed the energy in our house, and that her mind knew this so she was awakened from her slumber. When she was a bit older, I figured out that I needed to begin my meditation before she fell asleep. This seemed to work better. I placed her in her crib and sat in Virasana on a few stacked pillows nearby. As she tossed and turned, I slowed my breathing and let my mind empty. I allowed for her tossing and turning, and after about ten minutes, I would hear her breath even out, and eventually her motions would calm as she fell asleep. I would rest in the rise and fall of my breath, and sometimes didn’t want to leave the room because I enjoyed my meditation and this peaceful moment at the end of my day.

Yoga Requires Practice and Action Sutra II.1 tells us that if we’re going to practice yoga, doing so requires action. Kriya yoga, as it is called, requires tapas (motivation), svadhyaya (self-study), and isvara-pranidhana (aligning yourself with and surrendering yourself to a higher consciousness). In relation to life, this means that you must practice, face your fears, and align yourself with a higher calling. In relation to pregnancy, the meaning is much the same. Practicing to prepare for your birth takes dedication and time. It requires you to look in a mirror and face your fears—about labor, about parenting, about your abilities to provide and be a mature adult. If bringing a new life into the world isn’t a higher calling, I don’t know what is. The life you carry within you is precious. Instead of running away from your fears, face them head-on and use this as a chance to grow.

The Root Causes of Suffering Sutra II.3 tells us that there are five root causes of pain, or kleshas. If you

look at any attachment you have that causes you suffering, large or small, it can most likely be traced back to one of these roots: Avidya - Not seeing things as they truly are, misperception Asmita - The idea of “I am,” attachment to ego and self Raga - Attachment Dvesa - Dislike Abhinivesah - Fear of death Everyone has all of these in their life. Encountering them at some point is part of human existence. Our yoga practice can help us learn to identify and work with them. This helps give perspective during difficult times. Let’s explore how these relate to birth. Lisa is nervous about her upcoming labor. She has practiced her labor positions, her breathing, her Kegel exercises, and she takes prenatal yoga once a week. Yet she is still concerned. She has heard that people go through labor without drugs, but she doesn’t think she can do it. She doesn’t like pain, and she has never had a high tolerance for it. She read somewhere that ninety percent of mothers use drugs to aid their labor process, so it must be fine, right? And yet, Lisa had always wanted a natural birth, and she has read articles that unsettle her about the effects of labor drugs on the unborn child. She doesn’t feel comfortable with it, and she wants to at least give natural birth a try. Her mother gave birth naturally, so maybe she can too. But that nagging fear about pain won’t seem to go away… Birth is full of kleshas. It gives you a monumental obstacle to overcome: labor. It requires you to look directly into the eye of the storm—your fears— and charge ahead. In the example with Lisa, she has a fear of pain. This stems from more than one root cause: raga (her attachment to a state without pain), dvesa (a dislike of discomfort), asmita (a sense of “I am” weak and “I” have a low tolerance for pain), and abhinivesah (ultimately, fear of pain comes from fear of death and a will to survive, but this is related to avidya in this situation and a misperception that pain in labor is always a negative thing. Sensation in labor can often mean there is a positive movement of contractions and the baby down the birth canal). Another example of avidya (not seeing things as they truly are) is that she has clearly practiced for her labor, and she probably has all the tools she needs already at her fingertips. She needs to remove her doubt and replace it with a strong and unwavering faith. She can do this by practicing self-study. Does she truly feel that she doesn’t have the strength to

do this? Why? What sense of “I am” made her feel this way? Is she identifying with an old version of herself, attached to the past? If her true goal of alignment is to have a drug-free labor, what can she do to make that successful for herself? Perhaps she can labor in a facility that doesn’t have drugs onsite. Perhaps she can make a list of every other difficult thing she has accomplished in her life, to give herself strength to do this too. Maybe she needs to talk to five or ten other mothers that have birthed naturally, to give her confidence that it is possible and even probable. Or maybe she needs to read affirmations out loud every day until the labor arrives. This is not to say that Lisa’s birth will go as planned. Every single birth is unique, and attachment to natural birth can also have its downfalls. But if you go into it with faith and confidence, at least you aren’t starting out from a place of doubt. You stood up for what you believed in, and you did everything you could to move yourself in a direction consistent with your values. Different women approach birth in different ways. While it is helpful for some to shore themselves up and don the intentions of a warrior, for others birth requires learning softness and vulnerability. I think it takes a little of both for a successful natural birth: a sense of stubbornness and alignment with a goal, as well as an openness to vulnerability and discomfort. When you reach a certain acceptance of the discomfort of labor, you can allow yourself to be vulnerable, and just let that be what it is. In this moment, use your meditations to calm your mind and get through contractions remembering that dislike, or devsa, is a root cause of human suffering. If it weren’t so, we wouldn’t have like. On one side of the spectrum is dislike, but on the other is everything we hold dear. Does nature have a plan? Does it create a difficult process for birth specifically so that we will be bonded with our children for life? There will be other people in the room such as your care provider and your birth partner, but ultimately it is you and your child that are undergoing this physical and emotional transformation. When you hold your baby in your arms, you will feel the polar opposite of dvesa. Raga, or attachment, in Sutra II.7 is described as attachment to holding onto prior happiness. We often think that we are our feelings. From yoga we learn that this is not true. The universe, nature, our bodies, and our minds are constantly changing. The only thing that is unchanging is called parusha. Parusha is the part of us that is our true essence. It doesn’t have feelings; it

only observes. Life is a grand picture show to reflect the beauty of existence back to this unchanging parusha. Everything else is prakriti, and prakriti is constantly changing. Therefore, all states of being are simply that—states that we move through. We are not happy; we feel happy. We are in the fleeting condition of being happy. We are not sad; we feel sad. This is an ever-changing moment, like a passing cloud on a sunny day. In labor, you aren’t pain. You feel pain. When Buddha sat under the tree, he watched as everything moved around him. The leaves fell, the seasons changed. Rain came and went. He remained unmoving, aligning himself with that part of him that was unchanging, parusha. In yoga, when we still the motion of the mind and focus our concentration, we are trying to align ourselves and find parusha, or “the observer.” Imagine you are floating above your body, looking down at yourself. What do you see? Now try again, and this time observe without judgment. In theory, this makes sense on paper. In practice, it takes lifelong dedication, awareness, and self-study.

Further Studies in Yoga Philosophy I realize that this chapter may be overload for the beginning student of yoga. If these ideas and concepts intrigue you, I invite you to learn more about yoga philosophy as your embark on the path of raising your family. With each new thing that you integrate into your learning, more insights and understandings on previously learned concepts will reveal themselves to you. Many yoga studios provide study groups and workshops based on The Yoga Sutras or other yoga texts, classes about Sanskrit language and chanting, or workshops related to using yoga philosophy in your every day life. Your local library may also prove useful in the quest for more knowledge about this aspect of yoga.

11 THE EIGHT LIMBS OF YOGA FOR BIRTH AND PARENTING THE EIGHT LIMBS OF YOGA The eight limbs of yoga are a roadmap to living a yogic lifestyle. Applied to pregnancy, birthing, and parenting, they provide much-needed support and guidance for the minds, bodies, and souls of both new and experienced parents. Most yogis I know have come to yoga through the third limb of yoga, asana, or the physical practice. However, it should be noted that the eight limbs were written in a conscious order. It is said that one must first practice the earlier limbs of the yamas and niyamas before moving to third limb of asana, for example. Use what works for you. Over time, further layers may become accessible to you as levels of enlightenment and “aha!”

moments strike.

The First Limb of Yoga: The Five Yamas The yamas contain five moral codes, or ways of being in the world. They relate to how we interface with our external environment and relationships. I outline them below in their relation to preparing for birth. 1. Ahimsa Ahimsa means non-violence to yourself, to others, and to your environment. In pregnancy, this could mean not pushing yourself too hard in yoga class and paying attention to how you feel in this new pregnant state instead of clinging to attachments about your body or life in the past. It could mean remaining calm in conversations with parents or loved ones, and having compassion if they have a different world view from you, no matter what your differing viewpoints are. Dedicated yogis may find that ahimsa means eating food that is sustainably grown or that avoids pesticides that can harm the environment and your body. 2. Satya Satya means truth. It comes after ahimsa. This means that you should speak your truth, but not at the expense of ahimsa. Approach your birth as a period of self-study, and find your truth. Truth means being honest and genuine to others as well as yourself. If your birth isn’t going as planned, be truthful about that. Life happens, and that is okay. Be open and honest with your child after he or she is born. Although babies can’t understand your words, I believe they can feel your emotions. Speak to them clearly and honestly, and you will feel more whole and complete. After I birthed my daughter, I had difficulty breastfeeding. My doctor suspected Raynaud’s Syndrome on my part, after visiting several specialists and determining that her latch was fine. It was extremely painful for me and I didn’t know what to do. Every time I fed her, I cried. One day I broke down and told my daughter truthfully that I wanted nothing more than to feed her, but if it kept going like this, I didn’t think I could do it. I felt that she understood. I bought a pump and found a happy medium where I pumped half-time and fed her directly half-time. This relieved some of the pain and allowed my body to adjust to breastfeeding over time. She went seamlessly back and forth from bottle to nipple, I feel, partly because she knew that breastfeeding was an important bonding experience for us, after I had

truthfully expressed the situation to her with my heart. 3. Asteya Asteya means non-stealing. When you take from others, you cause suffering for them and for yourself. Most of us know not to directly steal from others. But there are other less-noticed forms of stealing as well. Be mindful of using other people’s time and energy. Try giving instead of receiving. Try serving instead of acquiring. The true reward is filling your heart with compassion for others. Try this with yourself as well. Are you nourishing yourself or depleting yourself? Set up nourishing foods, relaxation practices, and down time, giving yourself a gift. You may want to put in a few extra hours at the office, or buy that last baby item for your nursery, but this could be a form of stealing away your own relaxed happiness. 4. Brahmacharya Brahmacharya relates to chastity or self-restraint of our desires. This does not necessarily mean that you need to be chaste. It does, however, introduce the concept of self-restraint as beneficial to our lives and integral in the way we act toward others, ourselves, and our environment. In our physical yoga practice, this may mean pulling back on the physical practice to allow space to focus on breath work. When pregnant, this concept is especially important since relaxin allows our ligaments to have added flexibility. Restraint helps keep our practice safe and beneficial to body and mind. You may be able to bend further than you ever have before, but that doesn’t mean that you should. You can cause long-term injury to your body if not practicing mindfulness and restraint in your practice. Pregnancy and motherhood comes with many opportunities for practicing self-restraint. Avoiding alcohol, skipping a party to practice yoga or your birth exercises, or sacrificing a night out to care for a sick child are all measures of self-restraint. Eating healthy and cutting out sugar and caffeine are acts of control, poise, and confidence. Finding restraint in our lives and having the ability to make our own decisions without obsession or whim will help us steady the mind and have a more peaceful, grounded existence on earth. 5. Aparigrahah Non-grasping and reducing our possessive natures defines aparigrahah. It can

also mean being content with what we have. Reaching, clamoring, and clawing, our consumer society leaves little opportunity for non-greediness. In yoga practice, steady your gaze on your own mat instead of looking around the room and comparing yourself to others. Find the center within, and rest there. We must cultivate our own grounding and centeredness. In birth, you can also steady your gaze on your own mat, so to speak. Forget all the stories, the woman in the room next door, your partner, and health care providers. Steady your mind on what is happening in your own body, instead of grasping for things outside yourself.

The Second Limb of Yoga: The Five Niyamas Niyama is the second limb on the eight-fold path of yoga. Where the yamas deal with external relationships, the niyamas deal with internal discipline. 1. Saucha Saucha means purity of body, mind, and soul. In an external sense, this can mean cleanliness, orderliness, and respect for yourself and your external environment. Internally, saucha reminds us to look at our thoughts and intentions. By practicing positive birthing affirmations and meditations, mothers can train their minds to be clear and prepared for their birthing experience. Clean out mental clutter, allow emotions to flow to cleanse your body and mind, and you will be practicing saucha. 2. Santosha Santosha is defined as contentment. Contentment with whatever we have, in whatever moment. Be content with the place in life you’re in, your body, and your baby. Live in the now instead of reaching for past or future. 3. Tapas, 4. Svadhyaya, and 5: Isvara-Pranidhana The last three niyamas—tapas, svadhyaya, and isvara-pranidhana—make up what is known as Kriya yoga, or the yoga of action. Tapas is the motivation, fire, and heat needed to achieve our goals. Fire burns away impurities, leaving us with a diamond in the rough. Tapas is necessary in birth. You will use your determination, will, and physical strength to bring your baby into the world. Then you will be able to rest, holding your baby in your arms and marveling at how hard you worked. Svadhyaya means self-study. On the three-fold path of Kriya yoga, it is

necessary to explore the self. By examining your life, thoughts, dreams, and actions, you can begin to see yourself and the world with a new perspective. Remain curious about life and the birthing process. Create your personal affirmations for birth, and recite them. Try mantras or chanting in yoga class. Observe how they change your view of the world. Isvara-pranidhaha is alignment or dedication to a higher goal and universe. Birth requires us to surrender to the process and watch as an observer as it unfolds. With tapas (motivation and effort), and svadhyaya (self-study to prevent over-exertion and face our fears), we can find isvara-pranidhana (surrender to the present moment).

The Third Limb of Yoga: Asana The third limb in yoga, asana, is literally translated as “your seat.” Asana is the physical practice of yoga postures providing health, vitality, and ease in the body, which facilitates a restful, peaceful seat for the following more meditative limbs in the eight-fold path of yoga. Asana can be practiced while pregnant, during labor, and also post-partum. Each has its own unique requirements. For prenatal yoga find a qualified teacher. Search directories like the one available through Yoga Alliance to find certified teachers in your area. A good prenatal yoga routine should include a grounding meditation, some standing postures for strength, a focus on pelvic floor toning and relaxation, and safety as a primary element. I prefer classes that include a long relaxation at the end of class, as I think it grounds mothers as they grow their babies and gives them a chance to relax in their hurried lives. For final relaxation, Svanasana (Final Resting pose) should not be practiced lying directly on the back. Instead, choose another restorative posture such as Side-lying pose. A pregnancy yoga class should not include closed twists, any movement that looks like a crunch, difficult balance postures, or a heated room. After you have your baby, you can return to a gentle postnatal yoga class once you are cleared by your care provider. Look for a specialized postnatal yoga course with a qualified instructor who knows about safety for the postnatal body. You will want to continue avoiding crunches to protect the rectus abdominus, but one big change is that you can now lie on your back for Svanasana if it is comfortable. Continue practicing brahmacharya (selfrestraint) and give yourself ample time to recover. Remember: nine months in, nine months out. The hormone relaxin is still in your body, so take care

not to overstretch. Take it easy and let your body return to tone naturally as you experience the first year of your baby’s life.

The Fourth Limb of Yoga: Pranayama Pranayama is the fourth limb in yoga, and has great potential for use during labor and delivery. The breathing practices and moving hands meditations in this book can help you harness prana during your labor. Please read the pranayama chapter (see page 75) to learn more in-depth information about this limb of yoga and how it can relate to your labor.

The Fifth Limb of Yoga: Pratyahara Pratyahara is the fifth limb and means “withdrawing your senses.” It is difficult to meditate and focus on one thing if you are taking in information through external stimuli. In order to focus your mind on one object (as in the sixth limb of yoga, dharana), you must move away or retreat from the distractions of the senses. This happens naturally as you focus on your breath. The senses calm and outside stimuli fade away. The concept of pratyahara for labor can be applied by setting up a labor environment that reduces outside distractions. Some women like to labor with many people around, but in general, most women would benefit from privacy with only their partner, doula, and care provider present. Labor is an internal experience and a vulnerable experience. Even if a mother says the whole family can come in, instinctually she may not feel this in the moment. If something feels foreign or threatening to you, you may not feel trusting and relaxed enough to open up. In Birthing from Within, Pam England describes this as the concept of “paper tigers.” If your body is in fight-orflight mode, it could be difficult to relax enough to let your hormones adjust and allow your baby to ease out of the birth canal. The deep belly breathing in this book can help move your body into relaxed mode, no matter who is in the room. But under the surface, if there is something in your labor environment that unsettles you—too many dilation checks, family members, or even a worry about modesty or embarrassment of birthing near your partner—you may need to change things up in your labor room to get things moving. Try going in a room by yourself or having a thirty-minute quiet time with only your partner. If you make a sweeping statement to everyone that you want a period of rest and quiet, they will respect that. If they don’t, use your voice to get what you need. Once you are alone, perhaps you will be

able to let down and allow the baby to come. In labor you may experience a time when your labor environment can’t be controlled. Sometimes it just isn’t possible, and people are coming in and out of the room. In that case, go back to your pratyahara practice. Focus on your own mat, so to speak. People can move around you, but your senses of sight and sound should be internally-facing. If your labor has many people in the room, or you end up with a health care staff that is unfamiliar to you, you may need to call upon this tool of “tuning out.” Look at your focal point (practice the focal point meditation in this book—see page 71), listen to the words of your partner reading you affirmations, or focus on your breathing. Focus on the trust you have in yourself and the trust you have in your baby. If outside noises become too much, ask for what you need. No one can give you peace and quiet if you don’t ask for it.

The Sixth, Seventh, and Eighth Limbs of Yoga: Dharana, Dhyana, and Samadhi Dharana, dhyana, and samadhi are the sixth, seventh, and eighth limbs of yoga. Dharana is the act of holding focus or meditation on one specific point or object, or on one’s self or god. Dhyana takes this to the next level by releasing the conscious act of trying to meditate, and just feeling the act of existing and the object existing. In samadhi, the two become one, and the mind is completely out of the picture. The idea of dharana, or focusing on one specific point during meditation, is very relevant to labor and delivery. When you focus on one thing, everything else falls away. By drawing your awareness to one specific sense, your focus is moved away from the sensation of contractions. In the meditation chapter, I discuss practicing your meditations in advance during moments of pain during pregnancy, such as during foot cramps. Another way to develop your ability to focus is to work on simple balance postures in your prenatal yoga class. By focusing on one specific, visual point, your mind cuts out all other mental chatter that is not useful for helping you find your balance. The seventh and eighth limbs of yoga, dhyana and samadhi, give us concepts specific to meditation and feeling one with the universe during a meditation session. I would personally find it difficult, if not impossible, to do this when I was receiving nerve stimulation, and especially something as intense as contractions. On the other hand, toward the very end of labor, from

transition through crowning, surrender of the body is so complete that perhaps it is not unlike the feeling of dhyana and samadhi. Your ego-self is dissolved and you feel one with the experience taking place in your body. If you have thoughts about samadhi and birth, I am interested in hearing them. Share your birth stories! This is how we will learn more about yoga, birth, and ourselves.

THE EIGHT LIMBS OF YOGA AT A GLANCE First Limb: Yamas Ahimsa (non-violence) Satya (truthfulness) Asteya (non-stealing) Brahmacharya (self-restraint) Aparigrahah (non-grasping) Second Limb: Niyamas Saucha (purity) Santosha (contentment) Tapas (motivation) Svadhyaya (self-study) Isvara-Pranidhana (alignment) Third Limb: Asana Fourth Limb: Pranayama Fifth Limb: Pratyahara Sixth Limb: Dharana Seventh Limb: Dhyana Eighth Limb: Samadhi

Journal Exercise

Svadhyaya: Using Self-Study for Your Labor Observe yourself over the coming week. Write down five things that you notice that make you feel calm or help you in times of physical or mental agitation. Are there any expectations you have about your labor? Which of these are helpful and which might you need to let go of? What are your top fears about labor, if any? Write down three helpful things for each that could either help you work on overcoming these fears prior to labor, or could assist you with surrendering to them during labor.

PART III BIRTH STORIES

12 BIRTH STORIES

WHY SHARE BIRTH STORIES? Birth stories can inspire and motivate a woman for her upcoming labor. Listen for positive stories and hold them in your consciousness. Every mother has their own story of their labor, and many are willing to share if asked. Ask questions such as: How did you deal with those sensations at that moment? What was the most helpful thing to you in your labor? If the mother had a natural birth, did family and friends support the idea of a natural birth, and if not, how did they communicate with them or maintain their wishes to make sure they were met? Always remember to be sensitive and understanding if a mother is not interested in discussing her birth. Contained in this chapter are stories of real mothers who have given birth. Their stories come in all shapes and forms and serve to give a window into the experience of real mothers who have been through the life-changing experience of labor and delivery.

Sandra’s First Birth

Sandra saw the ob-gyn the day before her due date. Her cervix had not dilated more than a finger and was barely effaced. Her doctor swept the cervix and Sandra had some mild cramping that evening. The next day when she sat up in the morning, she had a small gush of water and blood. The hospital said it was probably from the sweep but to come in if she would like. When she went in, they checked the cervix and no further dilation had occurred. That afternoon Sandra had acupuncture specifically for starting labor. By the evening she had a few steady contractions and some trickling of fluid but figured it was from the second cervix check. She remembers having pork chops for dinner. Her husband’s family had always eaten pork chops before each of their children was born so Sandra thought she would give it a shot. She didn’t notice any further contractions while she was sleeping. In the morning she again noticed trickling fluid and experienced contractions that were ten minutes apart and twenty to forty seconds each. They called the hospital and the staff suggested coming in. Sandra and her husband were both very excited that this might really be the beginning of labor! They went into the doctor’s office at 1:30 p.m. The doctor thought that Sandra had ruptured the membranes, possibly the evening before, and that they needed to get labor going in case of infection. They used a balloon catheter attached to the thigh to help ripen the cervix. Sandra recounts that the process of getting the catheter in was more painful than any part of labor, partly because the pain was so unexpected. A simple cone biopsy Leep procedure she had when she was younger had left some scar tissue around the cervical opening, which made the balloon catheter that much more difficult. Within half an hour the contractions were stronger and four to eight minutes apart. Two hours later the lowest amount of Pitocin was given, along with a fluid IV and antibiotics in case of infection from the previously ruptured membranes. Breathing techniques helped Sandra through all this. She imagined the pelvis as a balloon and her breath filling the balloon, a technique she learned in her prenatal yoga class. Half an hour later the contractions were three to four minutes apart and she was two centimeters dilated. The catheter was reattached to her thigh, darn that thing. Then back labor hit. Sandra kept asking the nurse if this was the hardest part or if it would get worse. The nurse thought the pain Sandra was feeling was from the scar tissue of the cervix, not realizing it was from the strength of labor contractions. In this moment of pain, Sandra considered in her head the

possibility of some drug to take the edge off, but she didn’t want to get loopy or not be able to feel what was going on down there. So instead, she kept trying different coping skills. She found leaning on the ball and moving like a hula hoop helpful, along with leaning over a bean bag on the bed. She danced, walked the halls, and used hot compresses on her back, which were all helpful. She had a list of mantras and visualizations that she read over and over, as her husband coached her through breathing and let her lean on him. She didn’t use any of the music she had prepared; she was too much into her own body to be bothered with it. At 5:30 p.m. her doula arrived in the middle of a contraction. Her doula immediately began stroking Sandra’s back down to her legs. Sandra thought repeatedly about opening and releasing the cervix. They added a cold compress between the hot ones so that she could get more out of the hot compresses. She visualized sunny beaches and being anywhere but there in the pain. Sandra kept saying to herself that this pain was just a sensation and to ride it out. This positive thought really did work for her. Reminding herself to rest between the contractions was also instrumental in getting through them. Sandra threw up for the first time, after which she kept telling her cervix to “open, open, open” on her exhales. They finally lightly tugged the balloon catheter out and then she began walking the halls with the hot compress. But instead of dancing or stopping when she came to a contraction, she just kept walking through them. This gave her some sort of power over the contractions. It wasn’t easy but she felt more in control. She threw up for the second time. She was ready for a warm shower on her back. Sandra had always absolutely loved warm showers, and in this moment it felt like the best feeling ever. She felt that she had to have a bathing suit top on, so the nurse and doula helped her get one on over the IVs. Why she had to have a top on but didn’t care about her bottoms was beyond her, but it made her feel comfortable. Twenty minutes later Sandra had the urge to push. The nurse and Sandra together agreed to wait one more contraction to make sure that was really what she was feeling. Her doula coached her through a “pa pah” breath. By the second contraction, she knew she was definitely pushing. Between the second and the third, her birth team got her out of the shower and onto the birth bed. By the third contraction, Sandra was confirmed at 10 cm.

From there, everything just spun. There were so many nurses and people running around and all she could do was stare into her husband’s eyes through the fourth contraction. A doctor seemed to appear out of nowhere and said she could now push. He stretched out the perineum a bit (at that moment Sandra remembers being thankful for having perineal massage for the past few weeks). On the fifth contraction, she pushed! And by the eighth contraction, her beautiful baby was born.

Sandra’s Second Birth This being her second-born and ready to birth, Sandra had a feeling (and a wish) that she would birth early. She tried to get labor going with acupuncture and walking stairs and the hill outside her house. When her due date arrived, she asked for a cervical sweep from her midwife. Nothing seemed to get the labor started. She did another round of acupuncture and called the midwives to ask what the next steps were. She felt that she needed something to grasp hold of while another week passed. One of the midwives explained their process of waiting things out, as well as possible options for inducement. As much as she wanted to wait for the baby to come on her own, Sandra had this nagging feeling that her body and cervix needed a little push. Also her parents had come to town to help with Sandra’s three-year-old, and at this rate they were going to be gone by the time Sandra was induced. Sandra’s doula suggested they take a synergistic approach by doing several things at once to jump-start labor: cervical ripening options, acupuncture, castor oil, walking, visualizations (open, open) and more. If the baby was ready, she would come. Sandra did what she could. It was the second day after the cervical sweep and theoretically if anything was going to happen from it, it would by the third day. She was modest in her approach with the castor oil, only taking one-sixth the recommended dose. Late that afternoon she had some contractions that were mild but consistent. They went out to dinner. On the way Sandra pulled over and had her mother drive because she was concerned that the contractions, now six minutes apart, were becoming more difficult. Throughout dinner her parents, husband, and little son counted contractions. Sandra texted her doula to let her know of her progress. When they arrived home, it felt like things stalled. She went on a walk with

her mom but still things seemed to stop. Sandra then took a half-dose of the castor oil, keeping that synergistic element going at least energetically. She went to sleep at 10:00 p.m. and awoke only an hour later feeling like she could no longer sleep or talk through a contraction. They were five minutes apart. By midnight they left for the hospital. By the time Sandra was checked in, her water had broken, she was 3 cm dilated, and her contractions were 4-5 minutes apart. They were given a room and their doula arrived. The contractions were strong and much more difficult than she remembered. With her first labor, it was all new and she thought about the contractions, the pain, and the entire process as a practice in being curious about it all. But with the second child, she knew what the process was about and curiosity wasn’t getting her through it. Her husband swept her back, which felt really good. She remembers on several occasions thinking she could absolutely not get through another contraction. Then the next contraction seemed a tiny bit lighter so she could feel some relief. She tried to rest between the contractions and savor every moment. Her husband and doula kept her going with reminding her to breathe. She enjoyed the breath she learned in her yoga training of breathing in four counts and out four counts. The counting helped her stay on track. Several contractions made her yell, “Help!”—like literally, “Get me out of this!” She leaned on her husband a lot and they danced, rocked, and moved slightly. She also tried leaning over the bed and side-lying for a while to tune into the feeling of rest between the one-minute contractions with two minutes of rest. She felt very tired in her legs, like she couldn’t hold herself up. Massaging her back helped, as did throwing up. Strangely, after throwing up she felt good and was able to release more tension. Soon she “just knew” it was time to head to the shower. She didn’t want to slow things down but she needed some relief. The shower was what got her son out during her first labor so it was worth a shot, although she had only been in active labor for three hours. She got in the shower and let it run on her back. Not long after, she was on all fours in the shower and she felt the urge to push. The nurse didn’t think it was time yet, but Sandra knew it was, and her husband and doula knew it too from last time. The baby was crowning and although it was only a few pushes until the

baby was out, it felt like an eternity. Sandra was actually afraid her baby was stuck and even yelled out “Help, someone help!” In her state of mind, she remembers that she couldn’t figure out why all these people were standing around not helping her get the baby out. Then she realized she had to do it herself and that she could do it. Only moments later Sandra’s new daughter was born. Her baby immediately breastfed for thirty minutes, a lovely baby girl, and well worth the wait!

Evelyn Evelyn came to her birth from a place of fear and grief. Natural birth for her was a form of redemption. She planned a water birth at her home with a midwife and doula. She hoped she would not need to transfer to the hospital. Earlier in her pregnancy she had placenta previa, where the placenta was blocking the birth canal. Luckily it had moved far enough away by thirty-six weeks that she was approved for home birth. Four days before their due date, her husband made a remark that labor would happen that week. Evelyn wasn’t sure since there had been no signs, but she had a sneaking suspicion that perhaps he was right. He had a way of knowing when things were going to happen, and she trusted his intuition. The next afternoon she was at a friend’s house sewing a pillow cover and she noticed that she felt some dampness. With no contractions yet, she didn’t think much of it. She went ahead with her evening plans to get a pedicure. The dampness was increasing, and she even needed to borrow a small washcloth from the salon restroom. While the fans were drying her toes, she texted her midwife to see if it was common for water to break before contractions. The washcloth was now soaked. Her midwife advised her to go home and see how things progressed. At home it was now clear that her water had broken, and labor would probably start in the next twenty-four to seventy-two hours. Her midwife suggested that Evelyn get some sleep and call her when the contractions became more pronounced. Evelyn tried to sleep but couldn’t. Around 1:00 a.m. contractions started. After an hour of consistent contractions, they called the birthing tub company and their doula. They had prepared a home birth kit with ten big towels, washcloths, bed sheets, shower liners, a big bowl for ice, and other items that their midwife had suggested.

When the birthing tub arrived, Evelyn was still able to have a conversation and hang onto their kitchen bar when contractions came on. By the time her doula arrived, she could speak but had a more difficult time of it. Evelyn offered her doula food, and was able to eat a few bites herself. Half an hour later, her doula felt it was time to call the midwife. Labor was getting more intense. Evelyn’s doula had her try lunges with one foot up on an ottoman, squatting to the side. This helped turn the baby’s head slightly and Evelyn felt it moved everything forward. Her doula had her stay for two more contractions on this side, despite it feeling strong. Her doula continued guiding Evelyn through various positions. Evelyn labored on a chair, sitting on a birth ball, on hands and knees, and sitting on the toilet. Each time, the doula encouraged Evelyn to give her two more contractions in that position before moving to the next one. By the time the midwife arrived, Evelyn was not able to speak to them or welcome them into her home. She was consumed with being in the zone of labor. Her husband acted as her anchor. When he pushed on her back, she felt like she could do anything. Sliding into the birth tub was a welcome relief. The water was warm, the bottom felt cushy, and she could hang on the side of the tub. Her doula made a bowl of ice washcloths and rubbed them over Evelyn’s forehead. She was grateful for the tub and for her doula, and her mind imagined the experience like being in a hot tub in the mountains. The ice washcloths were a breath of fresh air. Evelyn soon felt the urge to push. Fear of tearing the perineum was strong, so she was upright and trying to keep the baby in the front. Her midwife told her to slow down but she had trouble listening to this advice. Between contractions, the oxytocin swept over her like a wave of cushy relief, and she fell asleep. A minute later a contraction would start again and she was back on all fours. During crisis, Evelyn’s tendency was to become calm, cool, collected, and to be the one in control, but during her contractions, she screamed and shouted. The noise surprised her. The midwife had her move to lower tones to help the downward movement of pushing. Their birth tub was in the dining nook of their condo, with curtains covering the windows all around. Through a crack in the curtain, Evelyn could see all the way down the street. She screamed low and long and wanted her voice to reach the very end of the

road. Crowning was just as they had described it to her, as a ring of fire. Evelyn was so scared of tearing the perineum that she put more weight on her front and tore in front. Once the baby’s head was out, she felt done, but she still had more work to do. After she pushed his shoulders out, the rest came easily. She lifted him up out of the water and brought her baby to her chest. He was crying. The love for this slimy, wonderful, wiggling, living, breathing baby was more powerful than words. During her labor, her mind had spun out into fear, worry, frustration, and self-doubt. But once her baby was on her chest, all of that changed. She was ready to go through all of it again if it meant bringing this beautiful, living, baby boy into the world. After birthing the placenta, she moved onto the bed with her husband. She was exhausted, but happy. The doula and midwife quietly cleaned up, while the new family slept peacefully, a beautiful new life ahead of them.

Marni’s First Birth Even though her due date wasn’t for another week, Marni’s intuitive self felt that her engines were priming. On Monday she awoke with a small trickle of fluid, but with no contractions or additional fluid. On Tuesday she awoke with more fluid of a different kind. Shortly after, contractions began. Around 4:00 a.m. she had a snack to prepare for the day to come. Kyle awoke and they watched a movie to distract themselves. The film was about blind children hiking up to Everest Base Camp. Marni thought to herself, if they can do that, I can birth this baby. Marni walked, watched Kyle pull weeds in the yard, climbed up and down the stairs, and rested on her bed. Kyle was her backrest, masseur, and steady rock. She wanted him near her for each contraction. Around 5:00 p.m. contractions were more frequent and intense. Their doula arrived and gave Kyle a much-needed break. The midwives came shortly after and checked her dilation. At 4 cm, Marni felt discouraged. She knew she couldn’t let the number affect her attitude and focus. She continued on, walking in the yard, resting between trips, and throwing up twice. Sweeping her foot with her cozy socks on the tile floor back and forth brought her comfort. It was animalistic, like a cat digging a hole. As night fell, the contractions continued with fierce intensity. The birth tub

became her haven. She felt she spent hours in it. It was in the tub that her doubt, strength, support, and waves of emotions ebbed and flowed. She remembers thinking to herself, "strength, strength, strength” with each contraction. She could also see a foxglove out of the living room window and used its beauty as her focal point. Kyle wiped her face with a washcloth and fanned her with each contraction. He continued to be her pillar of support. Her midwife checked her again in the tub, and Marni had made it to 9 cm dilation. Some of her bag of waters was still intact, and they chose to move to the squatting chair to pop the remaining water. Marni stayed in the squatting chair, and it was soon time to push. She liked the pushing because it was a different kind of pain, one where she felt like she was getting tangible results. It took time to figure out where she needed to push and how to do it effectively. She pushed for over an hour. Kyle was behind her, holding her hand and supporting her physically and emotionally. After an hour the baby’s heart rate dropped. Marni could tell it was starting to become a urgent issue. Their midwife said if they didn’t get the baby out soon, she was going to do an episiotomy. Marni remembers thinking, “Hell no” and in two more pushes, the baby was out. Marni felt a rush of endorphins and immediate love. *After Marni’s successful labor and delivery, her baby was transported to the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit) due to merconium aspiration (when the baby inhales a mixture of merconium and amniotic fluid). Marni is filled with gratitude for her natural birth and also has an appreciation for the hospital’s role when her baby needed their care. While in the NICU, Marni held her baby skin to skin, rocked and sang to him, and told him how brave he was.

Marni’s Second Birth The day before her labor, Marni had the daze of “baby brain.” In the morning she walked around the lake to see if she could walk herself into labor. That afternoon she accidentally backed her car into a pole due to her lack of twisting skills around her belly and her muddled brain. She didn’t seemed to care much about her car. She had a massage scheduled that night, during which she began to have light contractions. In her heart, she knew she had began. Her first baby had came five days early and it was five days before her new baby’s due date. She called her parents when she arrived home so they could watch her older

child over night. Her husband, who had a bad cold at the time, kicked into high gear and began to prepare for the birth. He timed contractions on his phone app and packed the car. At 11:00 p.m., after a few calls to the midwives, they decided to head to the birthing facility. Labor was here. The midwives wanted Marni there early because she was Group B positive and they wanted to ensure enough time to get adequate antibiotics. When Marni arrived at the birth center, she picked out her room. She chose the room with windows that had the biggest feel to it. The midwife and intern administered antibiotics and checked Marni. She was at a 3 to 4 cm. Marni was excited. She was still able to talk and she munched on crackers and snacks to help store up some fuel for her body. Marni had been describing her contractions like long-boarding in Waikiki. They were manageable but definitely there. However, they weren’t quite a short-board steep wave yet. Marni knew her husband would understand the analogy, and it gave him a gauge of where she was in her pain management, even though she realized it probably left her midwives pondering what the analogy meant. Marni decided to turn the lights down and try to sleep or at least rest through the contractions. Her husband put on singing bowls and chanting and Marni tried to sleep. She would doze off between contractions and then wake back up to moan and groan. As the night went on, Marni experienced more contractions. Fours hours later, she was given more antibiotics, had more back contractions, and then tried to sleep again. The back pain was the root of her discomfort. She had a heating pad on her back that helped immensely. Around 4:00 a.m., her midwife suggested a saline water shot that could help relieve the back pain. The midwife described it as feeling like a bee sting. Marni agreed as she was willing to give anything a try once, and after four injections of bee-stinging pain, her back pain slightly subsided. However, the shots were incredibly painful and she doesn’t know if she would do them again. Marni remembers looking out the windows in the middle of labor in the very early morning, thinking about the world sleeping, waking up, and going to work, while she was going through the birthing process. It felt surreal to her. Her midwife checked Marni again in the early morning and she was 7 cm

dilation. She thought to herself “Yeah, I’m totally doing this!” More hours passed and the labor sensations increased. Simple movements seemed impossible and she began swearing a lot. After a few attempts to get into the tub, she was finally able to make it. Walking and upright positions seemed to make things intensify ten-fold. She tried a few different positions in hope of moving things along. Time continued and she felt the surges become more powerful. The waves felt like she could no longer surf them but rather they were washing her away. She tried breath focus, listening to Krishna Das sing his fifteen-minute mantras and attempting to follow along, rhythm, ritual, and massage. At moments she felt she had control over things, and then the next moment she was searching for anything and nothing at the same time. Around 10:30 a.m. her midwife checked her again. She was still at 7 cm. The midwife said she could feel the bag of waters still intact and pressing up against the cervix. Since Marni was Group B positive, it was ideal to keep the waters intact as long as possible to receive the antibiotics and reduce the risk of exposure. Since Marni had already received three doses of antibiotics, her midwife said they could try breaking the bag to get things moving. Marni agreed without hesitation. She was in search of any suggestion that would help get the show on the road. Marni’s midwife had her get into a deep squat to get the ideal position for movement of the baby. It seemed to be the most painful place for Marni but she went there with determination and a little desperation. After the bag broke, the waves of contractions turned into one gigantic tsunami. Marni had the sudden urge to push and she quickly entered a realm of complete intensity. Her midwive said in a calm voice, “Marni, you are at a eight, nine centimeters and you are going to have your baby NOW.” With three powerful pushes, her new baby rushed into the world. It was twelve minutes from when the midwife broke the waters to her new baby completely out in the world. Marni remembers thinking that she would probably not be able to match the intensity of those twelve minutes ever again in this lifetime. With intensity and effort comes the greatest reward. The new bundle of joy was placed on her chest with welcoming cries. They stayed there for two and a half hours before going home. Once home, Marni ate eggs and a waffle and sat in complete contentment. They chatted about how crazy the day was and then snuggled up in bed as a family.

One of Marni’s prenatal students said years ago to her in class that the first baby teaches you how deeply you can love, while the second teaches you how widely you can love. Marni now understands that and is completely in love with her newest family member.

Michelle Creating a Positive Cesarean Birth Experience From the very beginning of her pregnancy, Michelle wanted to have a natural, vaginal birth. She educated and prepared herself with a midwife and a centering group at her hospital. She found a doula and took a birthing class. The support and education gave her the confidence. She was no longer afraid and felt ready to birth her baby. Around her thirty-fifth week, she found out that her baby was in breech position. She tried various methods to flip her baby. She used acupuncture, chiropractic services, yoga inversions, and more. As she neared her thirtyninth week, she talked to a doctor about cesarean birth because vaginal breech births were not available in her state. She tried to avoid feeling frustrated with her baby not turning. Michelle came to the conclusion that the baby wasn’t turning for a reason and that she needed to trust her baby. She began to educate herself about cesarean birth. Her birth educator suggested she attend a support group for women who had already had cesarean birth and were preparing for a VBAC (Vaginal Birthing After Cesarean) through ICAN (International Cesarean Awareness Network). Michelle learned what to expect and how to make her birth a positive experience by creating a birth plan. On her scheduled date, Michelle entered the hospital. Once in the operating room, she spoke with the anesthesiologist about her fears of not being able to feel or experience things, who told Michelle that her head would be clear, but that she may experience shaking and a heavy-chested feeling. Michelle had her midwife play soft music that helped remind Michelle of her breath. She slowed her breathing and went to a calm place. Remembering her positive affirmations, she thought of how healthy and strong both she and her baby were, and how amazing it was going to be to hold her baby. As the anesthesiologist injected her, she tried not to run from the drugs and instead invited it to happen. She imagined a warm blanket being laid over her lower body, and this blanket protecting both her and her baby. The doctors and nurses worked quickly. Michelle’s mind was clear and in the moment.

She did not experience any shaking or heavy feeling in the chest, which she attributes to her breathing and calm mind. Soon her baby was gently lifted into this world. The little girl let out a yell, bringing instant tears to Michelle’s eyes. The baby was examined at a nearby warmer, where Michelle’s husband comforted her with the sound of his voice. He brought their new baby over to Michelle, a perfect little human. As soon as the doctor finished stitching Michelle up, she held her little girl. Once they got back to their room, Michelle fed her new baby. With the help of the nurses and her husband, they achieved a good latch. Her milk came in four days later. With the knowledge of yoga, peace of mind from her relaxation techniques, and guidance from many strong women, Michelle had gained the confidence to have a beautiful birth.

Katie Katie’s birth story really began in her birthing class. Her teacher showed them a birthing video and it was at that moment that Katie realized what she had to do to get her baby born. Katie had created a birth plan that surrounded her with family and friends. Although supportive, her midwife tenderly reminded her that, at the end of the day, no one else could birth her baby but her. When Katie saw the birthing video, that realization hit home for her. The feeling was a little overwhelming. The romanticism of pregnancy and the nesting process gave way to the reality of the situation. She knew she had to “get real” with herself about what was actually going to happen and face her upcoming birth. One evening her water broke. She was sitting on the couch. She stood up and shouted “water breaking, water breaking!” Her birth partner ran to get towels. They laughed. Katie was excited that the process was beginning. She expected labor to get intense quickly, but after her water broke nothing much happened. The contractions didn’t come and Katie was anxious. She tried to sleep that night but was nervous, scared, and excited. The next morning she was ready to birth, but again nothing happened beyond a few mild contractions. Katie began talking with her support network. She worked with a homeopath who gave her a remedy to address Katie’s fear about having the baby. Although Katie had planned a water birth at home and firmly felt that this was how she wanted her birth picture to be, she had some residual fear about being outside of the hospital. One of her

family members who worked in the birthing industry had a concern about having the baby at home, which placed doubt in Katie’s mind. Katie worked with letting her fears come up, addressing them, and then letting them go. Because her water had broken, Katie and her birth partner sterilized everything and she made a decision not to have the midwife perform any vaginal exams for the time being. She was working with a midwife, as well as a doctor at a backup hospital not far from her home. The next morning, she continued to work with her fear. She had a heart-toheart talk with her baby. Sensing that her baby was afraid, she told him that she was scared, but that it was going to be okay. She knew that she had to birth, and she was going to do it, and afterward they would celebrate. After her heart-to-heart, and having in her mind the idea of a celebration when it was over, she felt like she was ready. Because it had been a while since her water had broken, several options were laid out by her birthing team to get her labor going. She decided not to take Pitocin yet and to wait to use it as a last resort. Instead, she chose to try yoga and castor oil. She started with yoga, practicing Cat/Cow pose and using a yoga ball to get her body moving. She then took castor oil. Her midwife warned her that castor oil could cause diarrhea, vomiting, and cramping of the digestive tract. The castor oil worked its way into her system quickly, and she totally evacuated from both ends. This jumpstarted her contractions, which quickly got strong and close together. Katie felt relieved that she didn’t have to go to the hospital and get the Pitocin, and knew she was going to really do this now for herself and her baby. With the diarrhea, Katie also got chills and shakes. She wanted to get into the warm water, but her midwife encouraged her to wait so that contractions wouldn’t slow from the warm water. Her mother and birth partner supported her with backrubs and rubbing her feet. She felt uncomfortable and was moaning, trying to bear through the strong sensation of contractions. Finally her midwife said it was time to get into the water. The warmth felt wonderful and calming. She felt she could get into a groove with her contractions and lean into them. The water took some pressure off her and she felt like she was floating. The midwife and assistant stayed out of the room while Katie had time with herself, her birthing partner, and her mother. It felt sacred, private, and respectful. She made sounds she had never made before, primal and deep. Her birth partner wanted to help her, and his heart went out to her that she was in so

much pain. But between contractions, she would reassure him that she was doing great, and that it was okay, that she was okay. Then she would bear down and head in for another round. Her body would take over; it knew what to do. She let herself go and leaned into it, allowing it. She had no selfconsciousness about what was happening and had no observation of herself. She just got into her zone and let it unfold. She had a few more contractions as a transition and then before she knew it, she was pushing. She knelt in the water. During pushes, she turned around and leaned on the edge of the tub or against her birth partner. Her mother put her hand on Katie’s back to help relieve pressure. The midwife said that the baby was crowning, but the baby had the cord wrapped around his neck. The midwife was gentle and calm, helped get the baby untangled, and then he came out. Once his head was out, the rest of his body shot out, and Katie pulled him up to her. Because the cord had been wrapped around the baby, he wasn’t breathing. Katie had a moment of feeling terrified and didn’t know what to do. She was transitioning from a moment where everything was self-sufficient inside of her, to one where the baby was outside, separate, and she was responsible for his life. The midwife put the baby on the floor to revive him. Katie’s mother asked if the baby could be placed on the birth partner’s bare chest. The midwife gave the baby oxygen and their baby took his first breath on daddy’s chest. Once the baby pinked up, the fear was gone. Katie was filled with a feeling of success and joy. The words that came to her were “I always knew that I could do something great, but I never knew that it would be this amazing.” Her birth had been the most challenging, but also the most rewarding, thing she had ever done in her life. She was grateful for the people around her that believed in her and empowered her to do it. They allowed her to have her fear, work through it, grow, and do it for herself.

Laura Laura planned to have her baby at a birthing center with a midwife, her husband, and her mother. She had taken a birth education class, practiced yoga, and created a birth plan. She felt as ready as she was ever going to be. Her contractions began mid-week. She couldn’t feel them much but her mother could see her belly lifting and lowering. The contractions went away

at night when she slept. This continued for the next few days. Laura felt happy and comforted to have a slow start. Her goal was to let it unfold as nature intended. It would happen when it happened, and all she had to do was relax and let it unfold. A few days later she lost her mucous plug. That night she woke up somewhere around 2:00 AM because the contractions felt stronger and she could no longer sleep through them. They felt like light menstrual cramps. She paced about and did Cat/Cow pose. She tried to lie down again, but they kept coming. She woke her husband, who timed the contractions and helped her relax. Laura’s mom arrived around 5:00 a.m. and they called the midwife, who said to meet her at the birth center. The car ride wasn’t easy, and Laura felt now that she was really in labor. This was the real deal. Her husband sat in the back seat and massaged her shoulders during contractions while her mother drove. When a contraction came on, Laura held her pillow near her face, gnawing on the corner of the fabric for comfort. She hummed low tones and breathed out when they came on, rocking herself forward and back. They had a room ready for Laura at the midwife’s birth center. It was a beautiful room with a queen bed, side sofa, and whirlpool tub. Laura had more contractions, and the birth team observed her to see how she was dealing with them. They asked Laura if she wanted them to check her dilation. Laura’s water hadn’t broken yet so there was no chance of introducing infection to the baby by having a cervical exam. She knew that some people didn’t want to know their dilation for fear of getting discouraged. But Laura was fine with it and was prepared to ignore the results. When they checked Laura, she was at a three. They said they could stretch her a little, and they stretched her to five. Laura was surprised and happy with this. They told her the baby was very low, and that her little girl was right there. This made her feel that it was really happening now and boosted her confidence. Part of her inside felt this was all a mirage, that it would stop and she’d be sent home any minute. She couldn’t really envision or picture what was going to happen next, and so she just kept working through the contractions one at a time. The contractions were extremely strong now, and it was all she could do to just get through each one. Her husband reminded her to take one at a time. They put some soft music on. It felt good to have someone’s hands on

her low back. She didn’t need them to push hard; she just needed support and two steady hands. Her husband knelt on the floor in front of the bed, and she leaned forward into his arms. He would wrap his hands around her and press on a specific spot on her back. Another thing that felt good was to have her feet up on his bare stomach, keeping them warm while he rubbed them. Soon enough she was checked again and her dilation was at 7 cm. She didn’t know what time it was because she was ignoring the clock. They asked Laura if she wanted to get into the tub. She was worried about slowing down labor and refused. When the contractions got difficult, Laura used her meditation from yoga class. This was a great help to her in getting through some of them, calming her body and relaxing her mind. Soon Laura felt like getting into the tub, even though she was worried it might be too early. Her intention was to have a water birth, and that was the main reason she had chosen to use a birth center. The contractions were very strong at this point, and she was drawn to the water to try to help her get through them. The warm water felt amazing. Her legs floated up and she felt weightless. Her husband reached in the water and put his hands on her back during contractions. She was still taking things as they came, and no part of her felt that this was going to end any time soon. She knew that some women pushed for two hours or more, and this scared her, as the contractions were already so strong. She felt that she needed to stay calm and continue getting through them one at a time. Through all this, her water hadn’t broken. Laura was happy about this because it meant no timeline and no risk of infection. Laura felt her baby was safe and cozy in there, the same way her baby had been through the whole pregnancy. The midwife told Laura that breaking her water was an option if she wanted to do that, and it could possibly help make the labor faster. Laura refused, wanting no interventions that were unneeded. The tub was a nice refuge and it helped her relax deeply. She leaned over the side and laid her head on the tub as her husband dabbed her forehead with a cold washcloth. She felt that she could have fallen asleep right then and there, if not for the next impending contraction. She was torn between wanting to fall asleep, and wanting to stay alert so that the sensations would feel less intense.

She didn’t know how the women in the birth video she had seen had stayed in the tub so long, through all their contractions and all that pushing. She started to get that dizzy feeling that comes from water depletion and overheating from being in a bathtub too long. She wanted to get out. She figured that she could get back in later when she was pushing, knowing that it would be this wonderful, relaxing refuge, and knowing that it was there for her as a treat to get her through the hard part to come. The midwives checked Laura again for dilation. She was curious but was still prepared to disregard the results and prepared for a long road ahead. She was even prepared to labor through the night, although by this point she felt exhausted. The midwife told her that she was at 9 cm. Laura had thought the tub would have slowed her dilation, but instead it had helped her relax and experience stronger contractions then she knew she was having. The midwife told her the baby was even lower now, and that she was right there. This was a huge encouragement and also gave Laura a mental image of the baby’s head lowering down. They said she could try lying on her side on the bed since she was tired and the contractions were strong. Again, Laura had thought this would slow contractions. But the midwife said it could actually sometimes speed them up if a woman was really relaxed. Laura responded that she didn’t want to, because it already hurt so much and she didn’t want it to get any stronger. She was becoming fussy and cranky. Laura decided perhaps lying down would help. Her husband rubbed her back softly like they did in birth practice. She went into another mind state, completely relaxed. But then when the contractions came on, they were extremely strong. She thought this was just because of the contrast between the relaxation and the pain. But soon she had to sit up, leaning on her arm during the contractions, just to get through them. It felt like something was pushing down inside her. She had asked several times through the day for a bedpan, thinking she was going to throw up, and now felt the urge again. They gave her a bedpan, and she threw up. They took the pan away to empty it and she yelled for them to bring it back. She was directing matters now and telling them exactly what she needed, but at the same time, felt she was losing control. They had the birthing stool ready and asked if Laura wanted to try it. She couldn’t think much by then, but a thought flashed into her mind that she

would be pushing soon. What she didn’t realize was that all that time on the bed after she threw up was probably pushing as well, even if she didn’t recognize or know what was happening at the moment. Although she had planned a water birth ahead of time, birthing on the semicircle-shaped birthing stool felt like the right thing to do in the moment. Once she sat on the birth stool, she saw a few drops of liquid drip down into the pan beneath her. Her brain clicked into action, and she knew that she would be pushing for real soon. This was it—the moment she’d been working toward was here. This baby was coming out—the floodgates were about to open. She had a contraction so strong that she could hardly bear it. She leaned forward onto her mother’s arm. Her husband pushed on her back, sitting right behind her. Between contractions, she leaned back into his arms, and he patted her forehead with a relieving, cold washcloth. It was only one more contraction and Laura’s water broke. Finally! The midwives said that the baby was very low. Her mother was telling her to breathe in and out through each painful contraction. Her husband was telling her she was doing such a great job and the baby was almost there. Her mind remembered that she was supposed to be actively pushing during contractions, so she did. She couldn’t imagine going through this for two hours (the length she had heard pushing could take). She was sweating and the ice-cold washcloths felt good. The encouragement from everyone around kept her grounded. Her baby began to crown, and Laura felt the ring of fire. She didn’t know the exact number of pushes, but it was only around five or six and the baby was out. Pushing only took about fifteen minutes, but it was the most intense fifteen minutes of her life. And then it was all over, just like that. The pressure and pain were gone in an instant. They lifted her new baby up to her chest. Laura said, “She’s blue!” and the midwife said that was normal. Laura realized her little girl was already crying at the top of her lungs. She had cried as soon as she came out, and Laura heard her as they lifted her up. Laura held her baby to her chest and the baby began breastfeeding. Laura knew the hardest part was finished. They waited until the cord stopped pulsing and then the new grandmother cut the cord. Laura birthed the placenta easily, and they massaged her uterus for blood clots. Laura asked her husband if he wanted to hold their new baby. He took the little pink bundle in his arms and both new parents climbed onto the queen-

sized bed. Laura was seated on a pad for bleeding. They put an ice pack on her and she nursed her new baby girl. The little girl’s eyes were wide open.

Journal Exercise

Women Who Inspire Me Journal about three birth stories that inspire you, either from women you know or from the birth stories in this book. What inspires you about them? What techniques can you learn from them and use in your own labor? What can you learn from these mentors? Are there any new affirmations that come to mind after journaling about this? If so, go back and add them to your affirmations journal page.

PART IV LIFE AFTER LABOR

13 PREPARING FOR BODY AFTER BABY WHY YOU SHOULD READ THESE CHAPTERS NOW Now means the present moment. Not tomorrow, not a year down the road, but now. When pregnant, I mostly ignored the sections in my pregnancy books on postnatal care. I figured I’d get around to reading about nursing, how I would feel post-baby, and methods for solving specific post-baby problems when I crossed those bridges. That was a big mistake. After the baby came, I was unprepared. I hadn’t learned about sitz baths, watched videos about proper nursing latches, or learned about all the changes that my body would undergo in the first six weeks after labor. I had heard stories of mothers going back to work a few weeks after labor and thought that recovery must not be a big deal. After experiencing it myself, I wonder how working at all would be possible in the first six weeks. Every woman is different in her recovery time, but the main point to remember is that recovery is a very real and important part of the pregnancy and labor process, and it should not be overlooked. Most pregnant mothers

are focused on labor. What about life after delivery? Use the time you have now to research and prepare resources for yourself, before you feel unwell in recovery and are tending to a baby.

Hormones, Emotions, and Sleep I struggle with the amount or type of information appropriate to pass on to new mothers about post-baby life. Every woman is different and each person’s body is different. Also, everyone has differing levels of support available to them in the first three months after birth. Some things are universal. After you birth, your uterus will begin clamping down. It is assisted by the nursing process. Use your yoga breathing to allow this to happen. Your body is trying to return to its post-baby self. You may experience periods of hot and cold, as well as sweating. Your hormones are rapidly changing to adjust to your non-pregnant, nursing self. Perspiration is normal, and you may even find that you want to sleep in a cooler environment. Your baby, on the other hand, might be cold. If sleeping in the same room, monitor your environment to find a peaceful sleeping situation that works for both of you for these first few weeks. Babies can wear well-fitted sleeping sacks or can be swaddled for warmth. Hormones also affect our emotions. You may find yourself laughing or crying for no reason at all. This is normal, and for me, it had no relation to depression or anxiety. It was simply the hormonal changes in my body, coupled with sleep deprivation. The emotions would come like a rainstorm and then pass. After a few weeks this went away. For others, hormones are a more serious issue. Post-partum depression is very common and should not be ignored. If you feel frequent, negative thoughts, talk to your health care provider and ask them what options you have. You can research Western medical options as well as natural options like counseling, nutritional support, naturopathy, or homeopathy. From a yoga perspective, try bringing more light and love into your chest with gentle chest openers. During your breathing and meditation time, experiment with inhaling for six and exhaling for four if you are depressed. There are books, articles, and resources available from yoga therapists like Gary Kraftsow specifically about yoga for depression. You could also seek out a yoga therapist for a private appointment. Make sure any yoga you do is appropriate and safe for the postnatal body. While some women under periods of bodily and mental stress are prone to

depression, others might be prone to anxiety and nervousness. If you feel anxious or like you can’t relax or sleep, try focusing slightly more on exhale during your meditation. Breathe evenly into and out of your low belly to calm the nervous system. Experiment with inhaling for four and exhaling for six to calm an anxious or over-active mind. Lack of sleep and broken sleep affect our ability to function, and also affect our hormones. Sporadic sleeping patterns can lead to mental and physical stress, and can also relate to insomnia. With lack of sleep coupled with anxiety, I found that I had trouble falling asleep during the precious one or two hours available to me. My body was not used to this napping routine, and was craving my old routine of sleeping all night and staying awake all day. People would say to “sleep when the baby sleeps,” but I would lie awake, anxious, and unable to relax. Yoga poses that helped me relax my wound-up mind were Viparita Karani (see page 45) and seated forward bends. I practiced breathing into my low belly and, eventually, my body would calm down and I would fall into slumber. My body was right to want continuous sleep. Our bodies need to recharge and cycle through the normal stages of deep sleep. Trade off with your partner and take turns being on-duty when the baby wakes. If you are nursing, this is more difficult because the baby may wake up to feed every three hours. Have the baby sleep in the same room and test out nursing on your side, lying on the bed. You can also try developing a routine. Rock in a nursing chair, keeping the lights low. After you put the baby back down, have a small glass of warm milk, and then tuck yourself back into bed. Do three minutes of exhalation breath exercises before falling back asleep. If you repeat a routine enough times, your body may begin to remember and respond. It’s difficult to remember this when you’re in it and exhausted, but remind yourself that this lifestyle is only temporary. Remember that all conditions are impermanent. Before you know it, your little one will be sleeping through the night, and if you continue to nurse you may be able to get by with five or six hours between feedings and get two big blocks of sleep next to each other. In the meantime, pamper yourself. Take great care of your body and your mind as you go through this experience.

Journal Exercise

Postnatal Planning What things can you prepare ahead of time to have ready for post-baby life? Think of things that pamper you and make you feel comforted.

14 FEEDING AND BODY ALIGNMENT POSITIONING AND ALIGNMENT FOR FEEDING YOUR BABY Poor posture while feeding your baby can take a toll on your body over time. Lower back pain, shoulder and neck tightness, and wrist issues are common complaints of new parents, whether breastfeeding or bottle-feeding. Create your own set of props to set up comfortable alignment for feeding. Props could include pillows of varying heights, a foot stool, a rolled-up blanket, or a folded blanket. Find comfortable alignment in your body first, and then use the props to bring your baby to you. This is advisable instead of contorting, hunching, stretching, or dropping your body to one side or the other to meet the baby. For example, I found that because I was tall, the classic nursing semi-circle pillows weren’t high enough. In order to reach my baby, I ended up hunched over, thereby rounding my back and shoulders. I also favored leaning over to one side while doing this. Over time, my neck and shoulders felt tight, specifically on one side. My low back was unsupported, and my body was

uncomfortable throughout the day. Once I learned proper alignment, these bodily stresses were greatly reduced. I stacked pillows under my nursing pillow to give it height and kept my shoulders rolled up, back, and down.

SETTING UP FOR FEEDING Find Proper Alignment Without Your Baby Before beginning a feeding session, sit in a chair without your baby. Sit up tall. If your tailbone is sore, place a semi-circle pillow, a donut, or a towel rolled in a semi-circle under your bottom. Lengthen up through the crown of your head. Roll your shoulders down your back. Draw your chin back so that your head is in line above your torso. If you're sitting on a couch and your low back is sinking into the couch, place a pillow behind your low back for support. (Your low back should not round like you are hunching. Instead, there should be a natural curve of the spine.) Use a footstool or a box under the feet if needed.

Maintain Your Alignment While Holding Your Baby When you feel you have found comfortable and proper alignment of the spine, legs, shoulders, and arms, get enough pillows and props to position your baby for nursing while maintaining this alignment. Bring your baby to you; don't bring your body to your baby. Find an evenness in the shoulders without putting strain on one side or the other. Avoid tilting your head down and over-cuddling your baby. It is a natural instinct, but if done repeatedly, it can cause the neck to get tight. Instead, place a small pillow behind your head, and maintain the head upright. Also, when holding your baby while feeding or while standing, avoid cocking your wrist. Instead, maintain a straight, even and unbroken line from forearm to hand. This will help prevent wrist strain.

Breastfeeding My advice for breastfeeding is to prepare and educate yourself in advance. This will prevent you from scrambling to get information while you are exhausted and still recovering from labor. The first week of breastfeeding is very important. You will form latching habits with your baby, your milk will come in, and your uterus will respond to breastfeeding by clamping down. Being prepared in advance will mean you can make the most of this important time. I’ll always remember the moment a mother of two looked me straight in the eye and said, “I’m not going to lie to you, breastfeeding hurts.” She assured me if I could get through the first two weeks, I would be fine. I made a post-it and put it on my fridge, with the commitment to breastfeed for two weeks. When I got to two weeks, I committed to six weeks. When my nipples cracked and bled the first week, I sought out help from my healthcare

provider, from Le Leche League, and eventually a lactation specialist. Use the resources you need to help you on your journey, and keep trying. It’s worth it for your baby’s health. The products I think would be most helpful are Lanolin, rice packs that can be warmed and placed on the breast, nursing teas, specific homeopathic remedies as directed by a homeopathic professional, occasional use of nipple shields, and portable breast pumps with glass bottles when your nipples need a rest. Be aware that some babies have no problem going between breast and bottle, while others do, and many care practitioners caution against pumping if you do not have a need to. I found that both sleep and proper body alignment and positioning reduced overall stress in my body and allowed me to relax into the experience. I also noticed that when I ate more, I tended to produce more. I treated myself with an herbal-scented spray while nursing and warm breast packs, and my partner massaged my feet during difficult feeding sessions when I needed moral support. I also used breathing techniques for the first few weeks when feeding felt painful. For many women, nursing comes as second nature. Enjoy your time nursing and use it to bond with your baby! Focus on proper body alignment to avoid fatigue in the shoulders or back. Make sure you get comfortable before you nurse. If you have a large supply of milk, pump and store excess milk in the freezer. To treat yourself, buy or make a nice nursing cover to drape around your shoulders, or find a nice book to read while nursing. Remember that even though your baby is now on the outside, you are still your baby’s whole world and universe. Breast milk is the healthiest, most complete thing for them to eat. Whether you breastfeed full-time or half-time, this milk will help their immune system, while the experience of breastfeeding will bond them to you as their mother.

Bottle-Feeding, Formula, Milk, and Solid Foods There are many reasons women choose to bottle-feed. Using your yogi wisdom, compassion, and acceptance, and avoid judging other mothers (or yourself!) based on whether babies breastfeed or bottle-feed. I didn’t plan on bottle-feeding while pregnant, but when nursing was difficult for me for reasons specific to my body, I found that it was necessary. I breastfed half-time and bottle-fed with pumped breast milk half-time. I was committed to breastfeeding to increase my daughter’s immunity and give her

the best life start I could provide. For us, bottle-feeding was an essential support mechanism to the success of that goal. Some babies have difficulty switching between breast and bottle. If you plan to breastfeed and things are already going well, consider that introducing a bottle could change your little one’s habits or desires in a way you weren’t planning or hoping for. We chose wide nipples for our bottles instead of the kind that are tall and come with most bottles. The wide nipples aid in baby going back and forth from breast to bottle. We chose glass bottles. We broke one or two over a year, but they seemed healthier for baby and environment and also did great in the freezer. Some women have issues breastfeeding that can’t be resolved and need to begin formula immediately. Remember that breast milk banks are an option that allow the baby to receive the benefits of mother’s milk that will last a lifetime. Even if breastfeeding, mothers may find that they need to supplement their baby’s intake. These mothers too will need to make the decision between a breastmilk bank or using formula. When breastmilk isn’t an option and if a breastmilk bank isn’t available or desired, look for a high-quality, organic formula. Avoid conventional formulas and read all ingredients on your baby formula. What kind of sugar is in it? How much? What kind of oils and processing does it have? When reading ingredients on formula or any food, avoid partially-hydrogenated oils, corn syrup, or high fructose corn syrup. Avoid artificial dyes and monosodium glutamate. Some babies do well on cow’s milk-based formulas, while others don’t. There are soy formulas or you could try finding one that is goat’s milk-based instead. Some more hands-on mothers may find interest in a homemade baby formula recipe from the Weston A. Price Foundation that is easily accessible online. Discuss these options with your pediatrician. As your baby gets older, you can start to introduce organic whole milk. Ask your pediatrician about the timing for this. When our baby was old enough to have regular milk, I began substituting her morning bottle with organic whole cow’s milk mixed with high quality liquid supplements (multi-vitamin, fish oil, and D-drops). I worked with my care provider to make sure that the vitamin levels she was receiving between her formula and once-a-day, morning milk drink were remaining within safe levels. I did this so that I could give her whole milk once a day and reduce the amount of processed

sugars and oils from the organic formula. It was also a time when I was transitioning her to more soft, solid foods handmade in my food grinder. I am not a nutritionist, and you should consult with your health care provider about your baby’s feeding needs. It was my healthcare provider that let me know when my milk supply was waning. When we added organic formula a few times a day, my daughter began to again flourish. It was also my healthcare provider that let me know the timing for giving regular milk. Once your baby starts on solid foods, read all labels for anything you give to your baby. Reading food labels in this day and age is an art, so one rule of thumb that makes parenting a little easier is to stick to a whole-foods diet. If it comes in a box or a bag, it probably has preservatives in it and has been processed. If you buy fresh, organic vegetables, dairy, fruits, meats, and grains, your baby (and you) will be much healthier for it. You can easily find baby food grinders that are inexpensive and operated with a hand crank, or buy a more expensive electric grinder. The goal is to get nutrients into your child and develop a healthy relationship with food. Feeding them processed crackers, pastas, or empty calories is not going to accomplish that goal. Grind up simple foods like sweet potatoes or steamed carrots instead.

To-do List for Breastfeeding (To Complete While Still Pregnant) Watch videos about latching online. Look up the phone number for your local Le Leche League representative and post it by your bedside. Ask your health care provider if they have a lactation expert to help you in the first three days of your baby’s life. Have breastfeeding supplies on hand like Lanolin, reusable breast pads to protect your shirts, and breastfeeding bras. Make or buy your own essential oil spray to lighten your mood. Have breastfeeding herbal teas stocked in your kitchen. Have common breastfeeding supplements on hand or know where to buy them. Make a meal plan list for the first two postnatal weeks, and if possible, assign friends to cook meals. If this isn’t possible, stock your freezer with healthy meals ready to reheat. Research and gain familiarity with how much water you should intake while breastfeeding. Buy a small clock, stopwatch, or specialized feeding timer if you want to time your feedings. Research breast pumps. Know which one you want to buy, or where you want to rent, in case you end up needing it.

15 POSTNATAL YOGA

POSTNATAL YOGA FOR A HEALTHY BODY Postnatal yoga is a healthy way to support your body after labor. It can help relieve aches and pains, provide breath work to calm the nervous system, and eventually help your body strengthen and reshape into your pre-baby self. Start slow and be kind to your body. Consult your care practitioner about when to begin and what movements are okay. Attend a postnatal class with a qualified postnatal instructor. Choose a supportive class and avoid one that pushes you too hard and that could encourage injury. If you had a strong practice, this could be a challenge for you. Go back to your yoga philosophy and practice aparigraha or nongrasping. Be where you are. Allow your body to take time to recover and to be vulnerable and soft. Keep feeding yourself healthy foods and clean water. It took nine months for your body to grow, and it may take at least nine months for it to return. We are a want-it-now society. I certainly felt hurried to return to my prebaby self, even though I had supportive and loving family and friends. Now

when I look back at the pictures from those first nine months of my child’s life, I see only a healthy, beautiful, flourishing mother. The time will come when you will look back on this time of life and wonder why you worried about weight or your neighbor’s judgments. Be patient and allow softness and femininity to permeate your life. Find other ways to feel confident like wearing a new dress or taking up painting. On the other hand, avoid doing nothing at all. It is certainly very healthy to move and strengthen your body, as long as it is in a safe way. Postnatal yoga can help revive areas that feel lost to you. Over time you will “wake up” and reconnect with muscles that have been sleeping, finding your core, maintaining a healthy pelvic floor, and ensuring you prevent new-parent ailments like neck and wrist pain.

The Abdominal Muscles At first, avoid doing anything too much like a crunch. There is a possibility of tearing in the abdomen if you start too soon. Focus on very small movements that reconnect your brain with this area of the body. A qualified postnatal yoga instructor will include safe exercises that begin to strengthen your body. If you start straight-away with big movements like scissor kicks or crunches, you could find yourself injured and committed to a much longer recovery than planned. If you had a cesarean birth, make sure to talk to your health care provider about which exercises are safe and when. Ultimately, listen to your body. Instead of working out with the music blaring, practice in a quiet room. Tune in to your breath and make your movements mindful. Feel every movement, listening to the muscles you are waking up and calling to action.

The Pelvic Floor Pelvic floor exercises are essential to your short-term and long-term health. If you had a vaginal delivery, most women can start pelvic floor exercises right away. It may take time to reconnect to this area. Start slow and keep working with it. If you tore during labor, use sitz baths to help your healing process. Go back to your pelvic floor exercises when you feel ready.

Safe Postnatal Practice Relaxin, the hormone that made your ligaments a bit looser during

pregnancy, is still present in your body for many months after you deliver your baby. This means that there is possibility you could over-stretch and not realize it. Be mindful when you stretch and avoid going to your deepest flexibility. Postnatal classes have a range of levels in the room. One woman may have given birth three weeks ago, while another is nine months into her post-baby practice. Tailor your practice to where you are, and focus on your own mat.

Postnatal Yoga with Your Baby Most postnatal classes allow babies to attend. Babies love when the mommies chant Om, and enjoy peering across the room at the other babies. These classes provide an open and understanding environment, where it is okay if babies cry and you can stop to feed or change your child. Some classes integrate the baby into practice, while others simply allow a safe space to bring your baby and have them placed on a blanket next to you.

16 CONSCIOUS DIAPERING

WHY USE CLOTH DIAPERS? Yoga philosophy calls us to practice ahimsa, or non-violence, in our external relationships to people, but also to our environment and world. Conscious mothering, for me, meant using cloth diapers. Beyond the environmental advantages, cloth diapers may also reduce potty-training time and mean that your baby’s skin is near soft, natural cotton.

Environmental and Financial Cost You’ll be changing your child’s diaper ten to twelve times a day. Over the course of a year, that is upward of 3,600 diapers that you are personally contributing to landfills. Paper diapers fill dumpsters across the country. Cloth diapers may require water, electricity, and soap for washing, but when comparisons have been done, they have a smaller environmental impact. Disposable diapers require production materials and resources to create. Reusable cotton diapers seem to put a smaller load on our earth’s resources. Similar comparisons have been done on financial cost of diapers, and cloth

diapers tend to win out, not to mention that a few years shaved off potty training means a few less years of diaper costs. That kind of financial savings can really add up. Parents with multiple children can even reuse cloth diapers from a previous child.

Traveling There may be times when disposable paper diapers are necessary—for example, on a long plane trip or traveling where washing cloth diapers is not possible. When paper diapering is necessary, look for brands that are free of chlorine and that use recycled paper in their formation.

Potty-training Considerations Children who wear cloth diapers are trained from birth to feel the wetness in the diaper. They will have a strong sense of awareness of when they are urinating. Coupled with helpful adult guidance, potty training can be expedited by children wearing cloth diapers where they can sense when they are wet. My daughter potty-trained at eighteen months and was sleeping through the night with no diaper by age two. Every child is different, and it is important not to force potty training. It takes time and effort to teach your child and create an association between the feeling of “going potty” and a physical training toilet. Much like our yoga practice, it is a practice of patience, education, self-study, and awareness.

Cloth Diapering in the Modern Age Gone are the days of diaper pins. We now have adorable and functional diaper covers in every pattern and color imaginable. You can buy snappable covers or velcro covers that wrap around traditional, flat diapers made of cotton. Some covers are one size, and others can change size over time using snaps. You can wash the liners yourself or use a diaper-washing service. Diaper services save you time and energy in washing, and often also rent the cotton liners and provide you with bigger sizes without the need to buy new materials. You will most likely still need to buy and wash your own covers and other diapering supplies. A second kind of cloth diaper is called an all-in-one. It contains both the liner and the cover in one unit. Some are snappable so that they can grow in

size with your baby. Because the liners aren’t removable, this type of diaper is usually not washable by a diaper service. With so many cloth diaper styles on the market, buy one or two and see how you like them before you invest in a big batch.

Must-Have Diapering Accessories You’ll need a good diaper pail and a few cloth waterproof liner bags that fit inside the pail to hold the dirty diapers. These liners can be washed right along with your diapers or covers. Keep your eyes out for bags in the same waterproof fabric in a small, transportable size. Buy a few of these and carry them with you. When your child has wet diapers you can put the soiled ones in the waterproof bag and cinch them until you get home to wash them. These waterproof bags are also very handy when your child spits up on their clothes or spills water all over their outfit. Make sure to purchase special diaper laundry soap that won’t leave residue on your diapers. There are various methods of washing diapers, so do your homework on this one and find what works for your home and family. Plan on having a few disposable or throw-away diapers for the first week of your baby’s life. Your baby will expel meconium—a black, sludge-like excrement that comes before starting their normal bowel movements—which is difficult to clean off cloth baby diapers. Instead of wipes, consider using small washcloths with warm soap and water.

Preventing Diaper Rash The best defense against diaper rash is changing your baby’s diaper frequently. Check your baby every hour during the day and get used to changing your baby’s diaper even if it is just a little damp. Make sure your baby’s bottom is always dry before putting on a new diaper. If your baby has diaper rash, once the bottom is completely dry, apply a nontoxic baby product that will act as a barrier from further moisture getting on the bottom.

17 DEVELOPING SUPPORTIVE COMMUNITY FIND AND ESTABLISH SUPPORT Parenting is a time of life when you should surround yourself with support: support of family, support of friends, and support of other parents. It’s a time to broaden your community and meet other people going through the same thing as you are. Introduce yourself at the park or take a chance and talk to someone with a small child the same age as yours at the grocery store. There are parent groups through your health care facility you could join, or support networks through online websites. There are couples groups, singles groups, and everything in between. Your prenatal yoga class may be a great place to meet other mothers who have similar values and interests as yourself. Make friendships a priority. Develop a community to support yourself and your growing child. Parenting brings out people’s values, and you may find yourself at odds with the choices other parents make. Practice your yoga philosophy of nonjudgment, and remember that each and every person on this earth has traveled

a different path. We all see the world through our own tinted glasses. Bend on the little things, and figure out a graceful way to avoid the big things. Offer your opinion if asked, while also listening to and affirming theirs. Your friends do not need to be carbon copies of yourself. If you disagree on something, talk openly about it and develop a mutual respect for each other’s views. Agree to disagree, and then let it go. This advice is also useful when creating relationships with family members now that you are new parents. Everyone seems to have an opinion when children are involved. At the end of the day, you and you alone are responsible for your child, so act with confidence. Also, allow other parents to be responsible for their own children as well. Satya, or truth, is very important in life, but ensure that your truth has the right timing. Lasting friendships are often, but not always, found with people who hold similar values to yourself. If your goal is to meditate and support that lifestyle, surround yourself with others that meditate. If you enjoy practicing yoga, meet other mothers who are interested in yoga. Above all, find a good babysitter. When your baby gets to be a little bit older, take time to have a night out with friends, with your partner, or alone. Get out to the movies, take a walk at the park, or just sit and do absolutely nothing for a few hours. Nannies and babysitters are an essential part of your community and support network as you raise your child.

PART V PRACTICE ROUTINES AND PLANNERS

18 PRACTICE ROUTINES

PRACTICE CONSISTENTLY What you practice ahead of time is what you will use during labor. The seeds you plant today are what will blossom tomorrow. Take time out from your busy schedule and enjoy preparing for your labor. These practice sessions may even turn out to become special moments that help you connect with your baby. They will provide time to unwind and make you feel more prepared with the day comes. I encourage daily relaxation for all pregnant mothers as part of a healthy wellness routine for growing a baby. Use a few of the restorative postures from this book like Wide-Knee Child’s pose (see page 29) or Side-lying pose (see page 45) to relax while breathing naturally for fifteen minutes. Some mothers like to listen to soothing music during this daily relaxation time. In addition to this, set a regular, weekly time to physically practice for labor with your birth partner or alone. This time should be used for practicing labor positions, meditations, affirmations, and verbalizations. In the practice routines listed in this book, I incorporate as many elements as

possible into each routine. Take liberty to alter the routines or create your own. As you try new meditations, note which you connect with and which you do not. As you practice postures, consider how they feel in your body and how to make yourself most comfortable in each one. Consistently practice one or two things that seem to click for you, and they will then feel like second nature during labor. The first few times you try them, the practice routines may take double their estimated time in length. You will need to flip back and forth in the book as you learn each pose. Over time, you with learn them by heart. Choose a regular time to practice each week and remain faithfully dedicated to this time as your chance to relax and prepare. Keep a journal nearby in case fears, hopes, thoughts, or inspiration strike during your practice.

Before You Practice the Routines in This Book As you learn the routines, flip back to read the full instructions on each pose, meditation, sound, or pranayama practices, as well as variations available for each. The full pose description pages earlier in this book will also give variations if practicing with or without a partner. Sticking exactly to the suggested times is not necessary. Work at your own pace. When moving out of resting poses such as Wide-Knee Child's pose or Side-lying pose, come out of the postures slowly. Take a few moments to let the body and blood flow adjust before moving to a seated or standing or upright pose. If a specific move or sequence speaks to you, you can repeat it. For example, in the Standing and Seated Practice, after taking Downward Facing Dog you may want to repeat Forearm Downward Facing Dog followed by a second round of Downward Facing Dog at the Wall. Always clear any exercise plan with your care provider before beginning. Please also read the disclaimer in front of this book before starting. If you feel any pain in a pose, stop the pose immediately and consult your health care provider. Always work with a qualified yoga instructor when learning a new sequence or pose, especially if you are new to yoga.

Journal Exercise

Planning for Practice Time I am committed to doing the following list of exercises until the birth of my child to prepare my body and mind: I will do these exercises: Once a week Twice a week Three times a week Every day Take this time to mark your calendar with your birth practice sessions. If you have a birth partner, work with them to plan practice times and mark their calendar as well. I will allow myself freedom from expectations, and if I do not do these exercises as frequently as planned, that is okay.

19 PLANNERS

SUCCINCT LABOR CHEAT SHEETS Having all the techniques and things you practiced written down in a few short pages will help jog your memory when the big day comes. Print these out or transcribe them into your journal. In the months leading up to labor, make notes and quick reminders for yourself. Entrust these notes to your birth partner so that they can give you reminders if and when they are needed during the birth. Make these pages your own by summarizing all the things you want to remember, not just from this book, but also from your birthing classes, other books, mentors, and any other resources you have at your disposal. A postnatal reminder sheet is also included. Don’t wait until after you’ve had your baby to fill in the phone numbers and details. When you are busy with a new baby in your arms, you will thank yourself for taking the time now to prepare these important resources for yourself.

Labor Comfort List Use space in your journal to make a list of practices or things that could help you feel comforted during labor. Your birth partner should bring this list with you to the birth. Below are a few ideas to get you started: Ice chips A bath A warm shower Yoga positions Massage Meditations Affirmations Thirty minutes of alone time Music

Yoga for Birth Quick Guide This is a quick guide to all the techniques in this book. During labor, this will help you recall things available to you.

Meditations Mother Hands Downward Meditation Hands Over Eyes Focal Point Meditation

Pranayama Hands on Ribs, Back, Belly Calming Belly Breath Partner-Guided Breathing

Sound Om Hum

Ahhh Affirmations

Partner Massage Back strokes Low back circles Sacrum circles Foot massage

Yoga Positions Hands and Knees Cat/Cow Upright Knees Wide-Knee Child’s Pose

Standing Down Dog at Wall Down Dog at Wall: Forearm Standing Hug

Seated Seated Hug Lean Forward Foot Massage Sacrum Massage

Restorative Side-lying Pose

Pushing Squat Lean Forward Side-lying Pose Down Dog at Wall: Forearm Upright Knees Poses from your journal Any position that feels right

Postnatal Cheat Sheet Ways to take care of myself as a new mother Warm sitz bath with herbs New, soft pajamas A collection of new music CDs from the library A healthy list of meals Staying hydrated A new, special water bottle A book to read while feeding your baby Happy scents and essential oils Partner foot massages Tennis ball for self foot massage Meditation, letting go, and being in the present moment Breathing techniques and relaxation Sleep Add your own ideas to this list

Important Phone Numbers: Phone number for my local Le Leche League chapter: Phone number of female support person #1: Phone number of female support person #2: 24-hour grocery store near my home: Postnatal yoga classes near my home: Local parents’ group phone number: Local stores with baby supplies and their hours: My care provider’s number (prenatal and postnatal): My pediatrician’s number:

RESOURCES

RESOURCE LIST AUDIO MEDITATIONS Pregnancy Audio Meditations by Tess Jones Two FREE pregnancy audio meditations are available for download from our website. Fill Your Body with Joy: http://circleheartbooks.com/pregnancy-meditation-fill-your-bodywith-joy/ Let Go of Doubt: http://circleheartbooks.com/pregnancy-meditation-let-go-of-doubt/ www.circleheartbooks.com

FURTHER PREGNANCY READING Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way Susan McCutcheon An excellent introduction to The Bradley Method® for expectant parents. A more detailed workbook can be obtained by taking their birth education course. Pregnancy, Childbirth, and the Newborn Penny Simkin, Janet Whalley, Ann Keppler, Janelle Durham, April Bolding A comprehensive guide for every mother’s shelf. Birthing from Within Pam England & Rob Horowitz Another great book about natural birthing. A few pages worth noting: Non-focused awareness, page 216; Ice pain management, page 214; Doula facts, page 209. Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth Ina May Gaskin A must-read for those interested in natural birthing. Preparing for Birth with Yoga Janet Balaskas Further inspiration about yoga and the birth experience. Yoga for Pregnancy Sandra Jordan Yoga poses focused on pregnancy fitness. Thank You, Doctor Lamaze Marjorie Karmel

ONLINE RESOURCES Le Leche League www.llli.org

An international network of women for breastfeeding education and support. 800-LALECHE (525-3243) The Bradley Method® www.bradleybirth.com 1-800-4-A-BIRTH (2-24784) DONA International www.dona.org Doula facts, information, and referrals. (888) 788-DONA (3662) 8 Limbs Yoga Centers www.8limbsyoga.com Supportive and inclusive prenatal and postnatal yoga classes for all levels. Also offers pre/postnatal yoga teacher training. Located in Seattle, WA Yoga Alliance www.yogaalliance.org Find a registered yoga teacher in your area. Kelly Mom kellymom.com Website resource with information on breastfeeding, sleep, and parenting. Includes videos on breastfeeding and latching.

FURTHER YOGA READING A Path With Heart: A Guide Through the Perils and Promises of Spiritual Life Jack Kornfield Awakening the Buddha Within Lama Surya Das The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali: A New Translation with Commentary Chip Hartranft The Yoga Sutra Workbook: The Certainty of Freedom Vyaas Houston, MA The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali Swami Satchidananda

YOGA MUSIC LIST Any music that soothes you is what you should use for your labor and practice. Below are a few favorites for those interested in new sounds. So Much Magnificence Steve Gold ReTurning

Jennifer Berezan Anand Snatam Kaur Khalsa Calling the Spirits Sean Johnson and the Wild Lotus Band Kirtan! Jai Uttal Elephant Power MC Yogi

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