Technical Writing & Presentation: The Commonwealth and International Library: Social Administration, Training, Economics, and Production Division 9781483138961, 1483138968

Table of contents :
Front Cover
Technical Writing & Presentation
Copyright Page
Table of Contents
INTRODUCTION
CHAPTER 1. PLANNING THE WORK
What is it for ?
Technical readers
Non-technical readers
Mixed groups of readers
CHAPTER 2. ASSEMBLING THE INFORMATION
Talking to Joe
Checking the facts
Arranging the facts
Detailed arrangement
Standard sequences
The completed arrangement
CHAPTER 3. FINDING THE RIGHT WORDS
Readability
Style
Sentences
Paragraphs
Words
Jargon
Clichés
Elegant variation
Irritants
Headings
Abbreviations
Ungrammatical English
Punctuation
Passive construction
Pomposity
Checking readability
The title
CHAPTER 4. THE FIRST DRAFT
An example discussed
CHAPTER 5. SOME EXAMPLES DISCUSSED
Examples (1)
Examples (2)
Examples (3)
CHAPTER 6. THE IMPORTANCE OF GOOD LAY-OUT
The look of the page
Margins
Spacing
White space and printed text
Headings
Rules for lay-out
Preparing the manuscript
Reproducing the report
CHAPTER 7. WAYS OF REPRODUCING REPORTS
Carbon copies
Office copying machines
Office printing machines
Stencil duplicators
Spirit duplicators
Offset litho machines
Lithography
Printing
When to use which method
Putting pages together
CHAPTER 8. ILLUSTRATIONS
Line and tone drawings
Graphs
Line graphs
Block graphs and other diagrams
Use of colour in drawings and graphs
Photograph
Slides
Photographic libraries
Reproduction of drawings and photographs
Summary
CHAPTER 9. REPRODUCING DRAWINGS AND PHOTOGRAPHS
Drawings
Photographs
Slides
CHAPTER 10. EDITING TECHNICAL WRITING
Being edited
Editing someone else's work
Editor and author
Editing procedures
CHAPTER 11. MISCELLANEOUS PROBLEMS
Copyright
Copyright and the user
Exceptions to copyright conditions
References
Footnotes
Indexing
Where to publish
Non-technical periodicals and the press
Finding a publisher for your book
INDEX

Citation preview

THE COMMONWEALTH AND INTERNATIONAL LIBRARY Joint Chairmen of the Honorary Editorial Advisory Board SIR ROBERT ROBINSON, O.M., F.R.S., LONDON DEAN ATHELSTAN SPILHAUS, MINNESOTA Publisher: ROBERT MAXWELL, M.C, M.P.

SOCIAL ADMINISTRATION, TRAINING, ECONOMICS, AND PRODUCTION DIVISION General Editors: R. BROWN, G. CHANDLER, W. A. DAVIS, F. MEE, SIR RONALD NESBITT-HAWES, N. SKENE SMITH, E. THORNE

TECHNICAL WRITING AND PRESENTATION

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TECHNICAL WRITING & PRESENTATION BY

W. S. ROBERTSON AND

W. D. SIDDLE

PERGAMON OXFORD TORONTO

·

LONDON ·

SYDNEY

PRESS

■ EDINBURGH ■ PARIS

·

·

NEW YORK

BRAUNSCHWEIG

Pergamon Press Ltd., Headington Hill Hall, Oxford 4 & 5 Fitzroy Square, London W.l Pergamon Press (Scotland) Ltd., 2 & 3 Teviot Place, Edinburgh 1 Pergamon Press Inc., 44-01 21st Street, Long Island City, New York 11101 Pergamon of Canada Ltd., 6 Adelaide Street East, Toronto, Ontario Pergamon Press (Aust.) Pty. Ltd., 20-22 Margaret Street, Sydney, New South Wales Pergamon Press S.A.R.L., 24 rue des ficoles, Paris 5 e Vieweg & Sohn GmbH, Burgplatz 1, Braunschweig Copyright © 1966 Pergamon Press Ltd. First edition 1966 Library of Congress Catalog Card No. 66-25317 Printed in Great Britain by Bletchley Printers

Limited

This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade, be lent, resold, hired out, or otherwise disposed of without the publisher's consent, in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published. (2534/66)

CONTENTS PAGE INTRODUCTION 1

PLANNING THE WORK

vii 1

What is it for? — Technical readers — Nontechnical readers — Mixed groups of readers. 2

ASSEMBLING THE INFORMATION

7

Talking to Joe — Checking the facts — Arranging the facts — Detailed arrangement — Standard sequences — The completed arrangement. 3

FINDING THE RIGHT WORDS

15

Readability — Style — Sentences — Paragraphs — Words — Jargon — Clichos — Elegant variation — Irritants — Headings — Abbreviations — Ungrammatical English — Punctuation — Passive construction — Pomposity — Checking readability — The title. 4

THE FIRST DRAFT

32

An example discussed 5

SOME EXAMPLES DISCUSSED

Examples (1) — Examples (2) — Examples (3)

36

6

THE IMPORTANCE OF GOOD LAY-OUT

PAGE 57

The look of the page — Margins — Spacing — White space and printed text — Headings — Rules for lay-out — Preparing the manuscript — Reproducing the report. 7

WAYS OF REPRODUCING REPORTS

65

Carbon copies — Office copying machines — Office printing machines — Stencil duplicators — Spirit duplicators — Offset litho machines — Lithography — Printing — When to use which method — Putting pages together. 8

ILLUSTRATIONS

81

Line and tone drawings — Graphs — Line graphs — Block graphs and other diagrams — Use of colour in drawings and graphs — Photographs — Slides — Photographic libraries — Reproduction of drawings and photographs — Summary. 9

REPRODUCING DRAWINGS AND PHOTOGRAPHS

97

Drawings — Photographs — Slides. 10

EDITING TECHNICAL WRITING

102

Being edited — Editing someone else's work — Editor and author — Editing procedures. 11

MISCELLANEOUS PROBLEMS

108

Copyright — Copyright and the user—Exceptions to copyright conditions — References — Footnotes — Indexing — Where to publish — Nontechnical periodicals and the press — Finding a publisher for your book. INDEX

217 VI

INTRODUCTION book is intended for technical people — scientists, technologists, students and others — who have to write reports, papers or articles as part of their work, but who are not working as specialist technical writers. Everyone in a technical job has to be a technical writer at least some of the time, and the techniques of professional technical writers will help him to write better reports. In other parts of our professional life we use techniques learnt from books — books on inorganic analysis, on the strength of materials, or whatever our work involves. We hope that readers will use this book as an aid to writing more effective reports, articles and papers. We have assumed two things: that the standard of report writing can be improved and that improving it is worth doing. On the first point, our theme is that the price of clarity is eternal vigilance. On the second point, we think that a report is not an optional addition to technical work: it is an essential part of it. Work is of little value unless someone knows about it and, generally, unless someone takes action on its results. Whether or not that action is taken is likely to depend on the effect that a written report has on its readers. Oral or visual methods of reporting are, of course, useful too, but writing is needed for detail and for permanence. Written words can be read as quickly, as slowly, as often as the reader wants. They are on record to settle any dispute about their meaning. Written reports help their authors as well as their readers. They give the author the chance to present his facts more clearly and forcefully than he might be able to in speech. He can think about what he is going to write, about the order in which he is going to write it, and about the way in which he will present it. THIS

Vll

INTRODUCTION viii And if he does not like what he has written, he can strike it out and start again. It is not enough just to put the facts on paper. It is a temptation, certainly, to write down everything that has happened and leave the reader to sort out what is important and what is not, but an author who does this is going to exasperate his readers. Nowadays, reports have to compete for attention with masses of papers, articles, and other technical material. Sometimes, because of their subject, certain reports get ahead of competition by being read sooner. But though they may be read, if they do not satisfy the reader's requirements they are unlikely to be properly valued or acted upon. A report must not only have the facts; it must have only the relevant facts, effectively arranged to make plain their relative importance. The writing of the report must be clear and invigorating, and the presentation should be visually attractive. The reader must always be free to concentrate on what is being said: he should never be distracted by how it is being said. Above all, a report must be designed carefully to meet the requirements of the readers for whom it is intended. This sounds rather a tall order, but we do not think it is. Men working in technical jobs have been trained to think clearly about their own work and to carry it out by logical steps. They could readily apply the same principles to their writing if they wished to, and we are convinced that much of the notoriously bad writing of technical men happens simply because they do not try to do any better. Indeed, many technical men seem to be proud of the obscurity of their written work. This book is intended to give some practical guidance on techniques. It does not try to tell anyone how to write any more than a book on analysis tells anyone how to be a chemist. Like the book on analysis, it gives details of techniques that can be used if the reader wants to use them. So far, we have talked about clear writing of technical reports. The same principles and many of the same details apply to the writing of technical papers, articles, and even books; we deal

ix with the special requirements of these forms where it is necessary to do so. We discuss technical reports in fairly full detail, and some of this detail may not apply to all reports. Simple, onepage reports are not going to need the same complications as reports of many thousands of words; but the difference is one of degree only, not of kind. The shorter reports may not need the detail of the longer ones, but they will need the same logical approach and reader-centred presentation. We have arranged the book in what we consider is the logical order of events in writing a report. The first thing to do is to plan the work, and our first chapter indicates how to set about doing this. Subsequent chapters describe how to assemble the information you intend to present into sensible order, and how to express the information in clear language. A chapter of examples compares articles on similar subjects written for two different types of reader, gives a good and a bad example of how a report can be written, and critically analyses a short article for style and clarity. Frequently, an author is responsible for the printing and presentation of his work. We have included a chapter on layout and visual appearance, and we have also given some details of the common printing and duplicating processes to assist those who may be responsible for production of written material. Many of the examples and illustrations in this book have been taken from the oil industry, although we think their message has a much wider appeal. We wish to express our thanks to the Directors of Esso Petroleum Company Limited, for allowing examples of text and illustration copyright by Esso to be used here. Conclusions drawn from these examples are, of course, our own. We are also grateful to Messrs. Babcock & Wilcox Ltd., and to the Petroleum Information Bureau for permission to reproduce certain illustrations. INTRODUCTION

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CHAPTER 1

PLANNING THE WORK THE actual writing of a report — getting the words down on paper — is important. The way in which an author puts his ideas into words can make his intention clear or can obscure it, can get action from his report or can cause it to be ignored, and we have a good deal to say about this in later chapters. But even more important than getting words down on paper is getting the relevant facts in the right order. A watertight roof on one's house is important: walls strong enough to hold up the roof are vital. In technical writing, the plan or structure is the wall that supports everything else. Get the facts; arrange the facts; then, and only then, write about them: it seems an obvious principle. The principle is obvious to all of us in our technical life. No architect would decide whether the 23rd floor of his new building would be painted black or white — important though that might be to the occupants — until he had planned a structure that would support the 23rd floor. No engineer building a factory would decide where each machine tool was to go — important though that might be to the flow of production — without making sure that buildings existed to house the tools. But plenty of architects, engineers, chemists and others will, when asked to produce a report, sit down and start writing without first making any sort of plan. There are a few exceptional people who can, without any preliminary thought or planning, write a connected report that includes all the relevant facts, and excludes all irrelevant ones, and presents these facts in the most logical and effective order. But 1

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not many people can manage so easily. Most of us find that we jump from topic to topic, that when nearing what we think is the end of the report we remember items that ought to have been in earlier sections, and that we end up with a draft that needs to be re-written entirely. Even one re-writing may not get it right. It is surprisingly difficult to get away from the order of presentation first selected. What is it for ? The first step in planning the work is to consider why it is being done — what you are planning for. It is vital to consider the readers' requirements rather than your own, and to ask yourself the following questions: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6.

Who will be the readers? What are their positions? What do they know already? What do they want to know? How can I best tell them? What am I trying to do with this report?

By the time you have decided what the purpose of the report is, what your readers want to know, what their level of knowledge of the subject is, and lastly, what you want to tell them — by the time you have done all that an important part of your planning is finished. But it is only a part of the planning, and we consider detailed planning of the structure of the report later. The type of reader you expect to have will obviously influence the contents of your report. Your readers may be technical people in your own industry or organization. They may be completely non-technical people. They may be a mixed group of technical and non-technical people. Each group will have its own requirements.

PLANNING THE WORK

3

Technical readers Writing solely for other technical people is not as easy as it may seem, because you have to assume a certain amount of knowledge on the part of your readers. The usual problem is — how much knowledge have they? Even within the various departments of a single company there can be a great variety of technical people. If you assume too great a knowledge on the part of your readers, you may omit some necessary explanation. If you assume that they know nothing of your subject, you may appear to be talking down to them, or you may make your paper so full of trivial detail that it will be tedious to read. One convenient way to sub-divide "technical readers" is into "those in your own industry" and "those outside it". Technical people in your own industry or branch of technology will have some knowledge of it, and detailed explanations needed for "outsiders" can often be omitted. You may reasonably expect technical people outside your own group to be familiar with the more common technical terms, but you should not expect them to know terms peculiar to your own industry or technology. Avoid jargon wherever possible. We can define jargon as technical terms peculiar to one industry or technology. Very often, a word used in the jargon of one technology has an entirely different meaning in another branch, and could cause confusion in the minds of readers who did not realize that it was jargon. For example, the word "bit" as applied to a computer has a very different meaning from "bit" in the machine tool industry. At best, relatively few people can understand jargon and, at worst, nobody understands it, not even the author. Ήοη-technical readers Describing technical matters for non-technical readers is a task that has defeated many scientists. They seem unable — or unwilling — to decide how best to put words on paper so that the reader can understand them. Yet this can be done. Every day you can see examples of how to do it in the science columns

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of the daily newspapers, or in articles written for "popular" technical magazines. Journalism is often deprecated by scientists who cannot see the merits of the skills and techniques used by professional writers, yet these techniques can be very helpful in putting over technical information. For example, the newspaper technique of putting as many of the facts of the story in as short a space as possible at the beginning is one that lends itself readily to arousing the interest of non-technical readers in technical articles. The technique of starting with some unusual phrase or analogy is also useful: "The Romans had it. Millions of Americans have it. But you probably haven't got it — yet. What is it? The answer to that simple riddle is 'central heating'. Although we may have been backward in the past, there is a growing realization of the advantages of having a centrally heated home!" This opening paragraph was intended to capture the readers' interest in a technical article about central heating, published in a national newspaper. When your readers are non-technical, your approach to the problem of writing about a specific topic will differ from your approach when writing for technical people. Much more explanation will be needed, but you must not assume that, because the reader has no technical knowledge, he is unintelligent. Most "laymen" are capable of understanding technical subjects if care is taken to present them properly. When writing for the non-technical reader, it is even more necessary to avoid jargon than for the technical reader. Even ordinary technical terms, understood by most technical people, should be used as little as possible, and should have an appropriate explanation. This explanation can often be helped by a comparison with something familiar to the reader. For example: "Viscosity is one of the most important properties or characteristics of a lubricating oil because on it depends the ability of the oil to lubricate properly. Viscosity is a measure of the resistance of a liquid to flow. A liquid which

5 flows only with difficulty, like treacle, is said to have a high viscosity; one that flows readily, like water, has a low viscosity." PLANNING THE WORK

You help the reader to understand the concept of viscosity by comparing viscous liquids to treacle and water, two things with which he is familiar.

Mixed groups of readers The author who can say all his readers belong to one category is fortunate. The degree of detail, and the technical level of his written material are fairly clearly defined for him. Much more often you have to write for a mixed set of readers of very different levels of technical knowledge — some highly technical, some with a little knowledge, and some with no technical knowledge at all. Obviously, you cannot write your entire paper or report to suit everybody — nor should you try, as the result will be that you satisfy nobody. One way to write for a group of readers whose technical knowledge ranges from little to a great deal is to write for the majority. Here, again, we can cite journalism as an example. Few people can have a wider spread of technical knowledge and general intelligence to cater for than the writers of scientific articles in the press. The author of such an article in, say, a "quality" newspaper can assume that while many of his readers have some technical knowledge, the majority have not, and can write his article accordingly. On the other hand, the same author, writing an article on the same subject for a technical magazine, can assume that the majority of his readers are not only technically inclined, but are also specialists in the particular technology to which the magazine is devoted. He can therefore write his article for the specialist, and not for the technical reader who is not a specialist. Another technique that is suitable for reports intended for people of different degrees of technical knowledge is to split the

TECHNICAL WRITING AND PRESENTATION 6 reports into sections, each section being intended to cater for the requirements of one of the different categories of reader. For example, suppose you are a research worker in a research association, and you are preparing a report on your work for the research director. This report will also be distributed to the member firms of your association and you hope they will act on your recommendations. The report will be read by your fellow workers, who are all specialists in your own subject. There are three classes of reader you have to consider:

(1) The research director, who is highly qualified, knows the broad outline of what is going on in his establishment, but probably has not the time to read through a detailed report (yours is only one of many). (2) The people in the member firms who are technically qualified, but are not specialists in your subject. (3) Your fellow specialists. It is obvious that the needs of the different types of reader are so different that writing at the same technical level throughout, and with the same degree of detail, would not satisfy all three. A highly technical report, omitting details of methods used, might suit the research director, but would not be suitable for your colleagues. One suitable for the member companies would not do for the research director. However, by following the method explained in detail in the next chapter, and dividing the report into sections, you can provide something suitable for all three types of reader. In this example, the first section would be a summary of the main body of the report. It would be written for the research director, and would include as much detail as necessary for him. The main body of the report would be written for the member companies, and would describe in general terms what you had done, what results you had got, and how member companies could benefit from your recommendations. Your colleagues could be catered for in an Appendix listing the details of methods used, and tabulating results.

CHAPTER 2

ASSEMBLING THE INFORMATION THE most likely source of facts for any technical report is the author's own work and knowledge. He would not have been asked or would not himself have decided to tackle the subject unless he had considerable knowledge of it. So the author should consider what he already knows, and perhaps turn to his personal information system, and to papers, journals, and books for further facts. After this, he should realize where the gaps in his knowledge of the subject lie. These he can generally repair from further study of relevant literature (perhaps after consultation with a librarian or information officer) or, much more important, simply by talking about the subject to colleagues, friends and acquaintances — talking, as it has been described, to Joe. Talking to Joe A survey made by the United Kingdom Atomic Energy Authority showed that scientists and technologists said that their two principal ways of getting information were consulting reports and talking to colleagues.1 Talking to people is a method that has to be used with some discretion, but it should not be ignored. Talking at large about a technical subject may not yield any assessable dividend at once, but it is very likely to do 1

HOGG, I. H. and SMITH, J. R., "Information and Literature Use in a

Research and Development Organisation", Proc. Int. Conf. Sc. In., Washington, 1959. 7

TECHNICAL WRITING AND PRESENTATION 8 so eventually. However, most people have to work to a deadline, and have to concentrate on getting at once the information they need to use right away. That is why we are going to suggest that after blocking out the strategy of the report, you should next assemble your own knowledge systematically. In any discussions you then have with others, you will be able to concentrate from the start on the points where you need more information. Time spent on well-directed discussion is rarely wasted. Indeed, it is a useful general rule in technical writing not to start writing without talking the facts over with someone else who knows the subject. What he says may well suggest a line of enquiry that will amend your whole approach. These considerations apply particularly to a report that is wide in scope, for example, on future fuel demands in Britain. This is a topic that can be tackled in many different ways, and the example is discussed later in the chapter. A report on, say, the reasons for a structural failure in a girder or on the results of analysis of superheater deposits does not, perhaps, need such painstaking preparation. But, if they are to be successes, all reports require the same sort of advance planning, notably in considering why the job is being done and what it is intended to achieve.

Checking the facts Once the facts have been gathered, they should be checked. It is tempting to leave checking until the report has been written and any surplus information has been discarded, but for a report of any size, it is safer to check before writing starts: building a specious argument on false premises is a waste of time. Thorough checking can be difficult, but it is worthwhile. If facts are not checked, one may end up quoting someone's interpretation of someone else's version of a third person's facts. Smith said that there were 3237 cases of delirium tremens in Xanadu in 1927; Jones refers to Smith as saying that there were several thousand cases of delirium tremens in Xanadu each

9 year; Brown refers to Jones as saying that Smith said that thousands of people in Xanadu have delirium tremens; and the report writer, depending on Brown, attributes just that to Smith. Anyone who has read the original will leap to point out his error (correcting other people's slips seems to satisfy a basic human need), and the author will get the reputation of being careless. It is worth spending a good deal of time on checking in order to avoid this reputation. ASSEMBLING THE INFORMATION

Arranging the facts You have your facts — pages, perhaps, of notes in no sort of order at all. Again, the temptation is to start writing, picking facts from the pile as they are needed. For all but the simplest report, this will waste time. As we said earlier, there are not many people who can, without planning, write a connected report that includes all the relevant facts and excludes all the irrelevant ones, a report that presents its facts in the most logical and effective order. The initial planning described earlier should have taken care of getting all the facts, but they still have to be arranged in order. What order? It should be the most effective order for the reader·, not for the author. We must stress the reader's importance. The report is for him; it is intended to influence him into taking some sort of action. It will not do this unless it presents the facts he needs in the order most convenient for him, unless it shows logical deductions from these facts, and unless the reasoning is presented in a way that he can easily understand. Decisions about the facts the reader needs have already been taken: you have decided what the purpose of your report is, what your readers want to know, what their level of subject knowledge is, and what you want to tell them. Let us take as an example a report on possible fuel demand in Britain in 1975. The purpose is to give both technical and non-technical people a view of what energy demand, particularly for oil, will be in 1975 and how that level of demand will affect the author's

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organization. We assume that some readers will want to know only how the change would affect the organization, some will want a broad picture of fuel demand in 1975, and some will want to know in detail how these forecasts had been obtained. The readers' levels of subject knowledge differ widely. The main elements of the report might be: forecast use of all fuels in 1975 reserves of fuel in 1975 reserves of oil in 1975 amounts of oil used in various applications effect of changes forecast on organization difficulty of forecasting changes in demand possible sources of error in forecasting methods used in forecasting costs of fuels now and in 1975 technical aspects of using oil fuel new applications expected for oil in 1975 These elements can be arranged in a more logical order: difficulty of forecasting changes in demand possible sources of error in forecasting forecast use of all fuels in 1975 effect of changes forecast on organization Appendices (1) methods used in forecasting (2) costs of fuels now and in 1975 (3) reserves of fuel in 1975 Does this order — as far as it goes — cater for the stated requirements? It gives a view of fuel demand in 1975, and it prefaces it with warnings about difficulties and possible sources of error — necessary warnings for anyone who is going to use the figures. It says how the change will affect the organization,

11 but only after saying what the change is. It gives a broad picture of the change in the body of the text and it puts details in the appendices where they are available to the specialist without distracting the general reader from the essentials. The author's original purpose seems to have been achieved. As we have arranged the main facts, two of them — reserves of oil and reserves of fuel — have been telescoped into one. Three — amounts of oil used in various applications, technical aspects of using oil fuel, and new applications expected for oil in 1975 — have been left out altogether, because logical ordering of the facts suggests that there is no need for them in a report with this aim and readership. ASSEMBLING THE INFORMATION

Detailed arrangement One step further. A logical order has been selected and irrelevant facts have been dropped, but even yet it is premature to start writing. The main headings so far established make up the principal parts of a skeleton, but before that skeleton can be completed with words, more structure is needed to make sure that the finished article has the right shape. The main headings should be amplified with sub-headings. For instance: Methods used in forecasting: start by forecasting Gross National Product then fuel use in various sectors take account of increases in efficiency derive total fuel requirements consideration of technical changes consideration of political and economic changes These sub-headings should be arranged in logical order and any then seen to be irrelevant should be dropped, just as was done with the main headings. In a long report, it is as well to go one step further and devise and arrange one or more sets of minor headings under each sub-heading.

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Consideration of political and economic changes could, for this report, be amplified to: Effect of Common Market if Britain eventually joins general economic development transport rationalization if Britain does not join other possible arrangements competition with the EEC countries Another heading "Difficulty of forecasting changes in demand" could be extended as follows: Difficulty of forecasting changes in demand general review factors affecting forecasts economic and political technical

Standard sequences Before going on to discuss completing the structure with words, it may be useful to say something about the advantage of a standard sequence of sections for reports. If each report from an organization has the same order, readers know where to find what they want, and authors have a guide that saves them time. No standard sequence can be applied to all reports, even in one organization, but used with discretion, as a guide rather than a strait-jacket, the standard sequence can be helpful. A typical sequence might be: title page, with reference number and date list of contents summary conclusions and recommendations

ASSEMBLING THE INFORMATION

13

introduction discussion appendices Not every report will have all of these items, but the items that each report does have will be arranged in this order. The most contentious point is the appearance of conclusions and recommendations near the beginning of the report, just after the summary. We commend this arrangement because it allows the reader to get the essentials of the report from the first few pages, and he need not go on if he sees that the body of the report will not concern him or apply to his work. It may be said that the conclusions — what is concluded from the report — should come at the end, since they depend on what has gone before. But the summary equally depends on what is in the rest of the text, and people do not think that, because it does, it ought to come at the end. However, the precise order in which sections of a report should appear is not of primary importance. What is most important is providing a familiar framework that will help both the reader and the author of a report, and making sure that the framework is flexible enough to aid understanding without being restrictive. It will be restrictive if it is used slavishly, and certainly if an order suitable for reports is transferred without thought to other types of technical writing. The completed arrangement When your pattern of notes-headings is complete it gives a preview of the complete structure of your report. It shows what arguments are to be used and in what order they are to be deployed. It shows this all the more clearly because it is a skeleton structure not yet completed with words. Because this structure shows so clearly, you can readily make alterations to order and to content at this stage. You can check, from a complete view of your final content, that you have included what is relevant and excluded what is not. You can satisfy yourself that

TECHNICAL WRITING AND PRESENTATION 14 your argument is logical and that your conclusions are sound. You do not need a full array of words on paper for this: they exist already in your mind. In the next chapter, we discuss ways of choosing the best words for fixing your ideas on paper when you begin to write your draft.

CHAPTER

3

FINDING THE RIGHT WORDS You have to make your work not only understandable but easily readable. This is the part of the work that defeats many authors because they think that, to give an impression of learning and authority, the text should be elaborately written, full of flowing phrases and long words and sentences. In fact, this style often achieves precisely the opposite effect — giving an impression of pompous, indigestible verbosity. Although in some circumstances a florid style can be effective, it is not necessary for technical writing. What is necessary is that the readers should understand clearly what the author is trying to say, that they should be able to find out easily what they want to know, and that they should not find the report irritating to read. The needs of the readers must always be the prime consideration. Their status, their knowledge, their familiarity with the subject of the report will all influence the style in which the material is presented to them, as well as the choice of that material itself. The aim of the report is to stimulate them into doing something, and a report that is carefully directed to them will have a much better chance of succeeding than one that simply presents its information in a random way for anyone to read. Readability You are at the stage of thinking how the wording of your final report or article will seem to your readers. From the start you have to consider its readability. Will your report be easy to read: and will the facts in it be readily assimilated? A report 15

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that is simple and clear has a much better chance of being read than one that is hard to read. The report that is irritating and confusing to the reader is a badly-written report. Readability is closely linked with the way in which the report is arranged, the length of words and sentences, arrangement of headings and so on. These can all be considered as the "style" of the writing.

Style Style means, in effect, the choice of words in a report or article, and the way in which they are arranged in relation to each other. The style may be direct, in which the author addresses his readers as "you". It may be indirect, with the readers referred to collectively as, for example, "motorists" or "chemists". Style may be formal or informal, "chatty" or serious, according to the author's choice of words and grammatical constructions. Choice of style is very largely in your hands. Most authors have their own style, and find it difficult to write consistently in any other one. But one thing is certain: long words impress no one, if they are used simply for effect when perfectly adequate simple words are available. The ideal style for writing on technical subjects is one that is unobtrusive. The writing should be clear and direct and, where possible, not too formal. The reader should be able to read and understand what has been written without conscious effort. A good maxim for report writing is "keep it simple". But whatever the style, there are a number of faults that if not avoided, can mar the quality of the work. Sentences The length of sentence considerably influences the ease with which the reader can read the report, and the aim should always be to vary the length of sentences so that the rhythm of reading is even and smooth. Sequences of sentences that are too long or

FINDING THE RIGHT WORDS

17

too short only hinder the reader. Consider the following sentence: "Among the many different problems it was found necessary to study during the investigation were the rates of wear caused by tyres made of both natural and synthetic rubbers and with a variety of tread patterns on road surfaces constructed of, among other things, bitumen-based cold rolled asphalt and reinforced concrete, the rates of wear of the different types of tyre in contact with the surfaces at speed intervals of 10 mph up to a speed of 90 mph, and the difference which the size of the tyre made on the results, this last point being of particular importance because the smaller the tyre the greater the number of times a specific point on the tyre will make contact with the road at any given speed." When you were reading that sentence, how many times did you have (mentally) to stop for breath? The sentence is too long, and the information in it cannot be assimilated in one reading. The reader has to go back over the sentence a number of times before he is clear what it means. A better way of presenting the information in this sentence would be to break it down into a number of shorter sentences, and tabulate some of the material: "Among the problems studied during this investigation were: 1. The rate of wear of asphalt and reinforced concrete roads over which were running natural and synthetic rubber tyres of various tread patterns. 2. The rate of wear of the tyre at speed intervals of 10 mph up to a speed of 90 mph. Wear rates were determined for each surface. 3. The effect of different tyre size. (Tyre size governs the number of contacts per mile.)"

18

TECHNICAL WRITING AND PRESENTATION

Here is another example of an over-long sentence, dealing with written comment that appeared to be based on fact: "It may consist — and judging by the statements that have been afforded to us, to a large extent it does consist — of inferences which have been derived from other published material and in some cases from background information, and in that case it will be our concern to learn what were the bases of the inferences, once they are identified for us by the writer, and in the end to make up our minds whether they are themselves capable of sustaining the allegation that is derived from them and to set the proposed prima facie inference against a great deal of other fact we have obtained in other ways." Again this sentence is too long, and contains too much information. Even a comparatively short sentence can have too much information in it: ' T h e hull of the SS Verona is specially designed for speed (23*6 knots) at low power consumption (50,000 shaft horse power) low propellor speed (150 rev/min) and low fuel consumption (12 tons of fuel at full power, 8*5 tons at cruising speed)." Over-long sentences can confuse and irritate. So can very short ones, especially when they follow one another in quick succession. A single short sentence may serve to re-attract the wandering attention of the reader who has been lulled by the steady rhythm of the prose. Two or three short sentences together will emphasize a point. But eight or nine may give the impression that the author thinks he is writing a child's primer. Here is an example of the right way to use short sentences: "Blogg's furniture polish has a number of advantages over other polishes which make it worth considering. It is cheap. It is clean. It is convenient. The polish gives a strong coat and does not smear or fail to protect the furniture."

FINDING THE RIGHT WORDS

19

In that example, the short sentences are used to highlight some of the advantages of the product. Compare it with this: "Blogg's furniture polish has a number of advantages over other polishes. These are well worth considering. It is cheap. It is clean. It is convenient. It gives a strong coat. It does not smear. It protects the furniture." In this version, the value of contrast between the long and short sentences has been lost, and the general effect is to irritate the reader. The next example is quoted to show how not to write sentences if you want them to be easy to read and to be understood : 4

'However, as this particular petroleum fuel is not, at this juncture, utilized to any great extent, in this country, for metal melting, due to varying factors (apart from a few particular instances), we do not, therefore, in the circumstances, propose to discuss this topic, apart from saying that this fuel, gaseous when burnt, is an extremely 'clean' fuel, its sulphur content being negligible, approximately 2-3 grains per therm." The following re-written version is much clearer: "This petroleum fuel is not much used for metal melting in this country. Accordingly, we do not propose to discuss it, except to say that it is an extremely clean fuel (the sulphur content is approximately 2 grains per therm.)" No magic formula has been used to produce this re-written version: the ideas have simply been sorted out into a coherent pattern and stated in smaller, easily manageable units. Paragraphs The same criteria apply to paragraphs as to sentences. The length should be chosen and varied to give the reader a smooth, even text to read. The aim of a paragraph is to convey to the

20

TECHNICAL WRITING AND PRESENTATION

reader one piece of information about a subject, and each paragraph should deal with a different aspect of the subject. One difficulty in writing a very long report is to know where to begin a new paragraph. The criterion of "change of subject" is a useful one to apply in case of doubt. As with sentences, a paragraph that is too long will be difficult to understand at one reading. A succession of very short paragraphs will have the same irritating effect on the reader as a succession of short sentences.

Words Correctly used, the words in which you clothe your ideas can quickly give your reader the information he wants. Wrongly used, they can confuse and mislead him. Among the common errors of expression are: using too many (or too few), or hackneyed words; using jargon; using cliches; and striving unnecessarily for "elegant variation". One of the axioms of good writing is to avoid surplus words. A long report may still be a readable one if every word in it works, while even a short report can be tedious if it contains too many expressions like, "It is as well to remember that" and "It should be borne in mind". These are almost always superfluous, and add unnecessarily to the reader's burden. But using too few words is just as bad if this means omitting essential details. The reader will not be pleased with an article he can read in two minutes if he has to spend two more hours getting the information he really wants. Many words are over-worked. A good example is "field": "In the field of technical writing, graduates are at a premium". "In this field, correct lubrication is essential". "In the agricultural field, farmers are becoming mechanized". "Luxury liners are not as important as they were in the marine field". "On this survey, cavitation was not encountered but it is known from other field experience that

FINDING THE RIGHT WORDS

21

it is a problem in a limited field. Field testing is in hand and it is hoped that the new product will prove beneficial". A little thought usually provides a less hackneyed word; often no word is needed at all. Jargon We have described jargon as other people's technical terms. No doubt you will have read many articles that are almost incomprehensible because the terms used in them are peculiar to the subject, yet no attempt is made to explain them. Here is an example of an extract that is incomprehensible to most of us: "Previous studies from this laboratory have described in vitro systems in which the fate of micro-organisms can be determined within phagocytic cells. These experiments as well as more recent ones on the degradation of isotopically labelled bacteria within both polymorphonuclear leucocytes and macrophages indicated that within 2-3 h of intracellular residence more than 50 per cent of the trichloroacetic acid-insoluble phosphorous-32 or carbon-14 of Escherichia coli K-12 was broken down into acid-soluble fragments. A comparison between the two types of phagocytes revealed that the macrophage brought about a more rapid and extensive degradation of Escherichia coli macromolecules. The investigations reported here were conducted in an effort to determine the influence of intra-phagocytic residence on the immunogenicity of the same organism". 1 The use of the words "polymorphonuclear leucocytes", "macrophages", "macromolecules" and "immunogenicity" in this extract can be defended on the grounds that the authors 1

Nature, 196, p. 1066, 15 Dec. 1962.

22

TECHNICAL WRITING AND PRESENTATION

were writing for a very limited audience of specialists, who would be entirely familiar with the terms. But authors are rarely fortunate enough to have clearly-defined, homogeneous groups for their audiences, and in most writing the use of every specialist term should be carefully considered. All too often an apparently innocent phrase such as "the normal base-heating process" is variously interpreted by readers outside the author's own department (does it mean heating at the base, or heating with a base, or heating of a base?). The analytical chemist who writes "In these circumstances the reaction is quantitative" must be quite sure his readers will know that he wants quantitative to mean "complete". Try asking your colleagues exactly what they understand by the apparently synonymous common terms "precision" and "accuracy". Repeated use of jargon phrases often blinds authors to the possibility of using perfectly adequate simpler words. Mathematicians accustomed to talking about "factors" find themselves pronouncing that "output could be increased by a factor of two". Chemists discover that they have "subjected a small sample to combustion". And loose use of the phrase "of the order of" is demonstrated by "we would have to sell of the order of 108 lb a year at a price of the order of 55·. a pound to produce the same results as our present figures!" Ready-made jargon phrases have undoubted value when they are used in proper contexts to convey exact and clearly defined meanings. If they are used carelessly, they lose their impact and become as empty of meaning as the cliches of everyday conversation. Cliches Clichos may have some place in conversation, but they have none in technical writing. These phrases, worn out through overuse, have a deadening effect. For example, the major breakthrough in everything from space research to pharmacology is surely due for a rest. Bottlenecks no longer make the impression

FINDING THE RIGHT WORDS

23

they once did, though a statement that x is the biggest bottleneck delaying production is still likely to cause some comment. 'Other things being equal", "be that as it may", and so on — there are many words and phrases of this sort that are used not because they express what the writer means but because they are the first thing that occur to him. Elegant variation Elegant variation has no place in technical writing. A spade should be called a spade each time it is referred to, not a spade the first time, a shovel the second, and a digging implement the third. The elegant variation will only confuse the technical reader. Take this example: "The generating set is diesel electric, the engine having an output of 300 bhp. The diesel will run on a variety of fuels, from diesel oil to petrol, but it must be correctly set for each one. Operators must see that the power plant settings are correct before starting, as failure to adjust the settings to the fuel may cause damage to the prime mover. Both the driving unit and the driven one must be maintained in good condition . . .". It would have been much clearer to talk about the diesel or the diesel engine throughout. As it is, it is not clear that the passage is discussing the same unit throughout. Irritants A successful report keeps its reader interested. Anything that irritates or distracts him may cause him to lose interest and should be avoided. We have already mentioned the effect of very long and very short sentences and paragraphs. Inconsistency of headings throughout a report is another source of irritation to a reader.

24

TECHNICAL WRITING AND PRESENTATION

Headings In any lengthy report, there are (or ought to be) headings of various degrees of importance, to show that the report is divided into a number of sections, each with its own title. Within each section, there may be main headings and sub-headings. Headings of equal importance should always appear the same as each other, but different from headings of greater or lesser importance. Where a report is to be printed, this presents no problem, because the printer has at his disposal many different type faces, sizes and weights. But for material which is to be reproduced on an office printing machine, the typewriter imposes limitations of size and weight. However, it is still possible to give variety to your headings by varying your use of capital and lowercase letters, number of lines under words, position of words on the page, and letter-spaced words (that is, words with a space equivalent to one letter between each letter). Headings are discussed in more detail in Chapter 6. Abbreviations Abbreviations can be another source of irritation. It is surprising how a knowledgeable reader will see inconsistencies in the way a unit is differently represented in different parts of the report. You may know that r.p.m. means the same as rpm, and that both mean the same as rev/min, but does your reader? If he does not, and he sees r.p.m. on one page, then rev/min on another, and rpm on a third, he will be confused. When he realizes that they all mean revolutions per minute he will be irritated. The easy way to be consistent is always to use standard abbreviations, such as those in British Standard 1991 "Letter Symbols, Signs and Abbreviations". The use of abbreviations in itself can sometimes confuse and irritate the reader who does not know what they stand for. Almost everyone knows that " l b " is an abbreviation for "pound", but how many know what "LD50" stands for? (In fact, it means "Median lethal dose".) Latin abbreviations such

25 as (sic), ibid, e.g. and i.e. can be confusing. They should not be used in technical writing; the small gain in space is more than outweighed by the accompanying loss in clarity. Frequently, the author himself does not know the meaning of a Latin abbreviation, and will write i.e. (id est — that is) when he ought to write e.g. (exempli gratia — for example). Once again, some thought given to the reader's knowledge of a subject will indicate whether to use the abbreviation at all, and if it is used, whether it needs to be explained. Once an abbreviation has been used and explained in a report, the abbreviation alone will usually suffice subsequently. An exception may be when the second use of the abbreviation is some thousands of words further on in the report than the first one. FINDING THE RIGHT WORDS

Ungrammatical English Scientists are often accused of being unable to write good English. A publisher once said, "A brilliant scientist has not always time to consider the niceties of grammar".1 But while the scientist may not be able to write brilliant prose, there is no reason why he should not write grammatical English. The style of a report and the reputation of the author will suffer if the English is ungrammatical. For example, the following sentence is ponderous and has to be read more than once because it contains too much material and its verb forms are confused: "Injection of a contrast agent with an iodine concentration of about 0.27 per cent directly into the carotid or vertebral arteries gives adequate visualization of cerebral arteries and corresponding veins in all patients, the density achieved varying inversely with the circulation rate and directly with the rate of injection and is therefore to some extent controllable." 1

D. AINSLIE THIN, Director, Oliver and Boyd, AS LIB Proceedings, Vol. 14, No. 9.

TECHNICAL WRITING AND PRESENTATION 26 The next example was the opening sentence of a report:

"A comprehensive series of full-scale trials were carried out.. .". This is easy to understand, even though it contains a grammatical error, and some readers may feel that the error is unimportant; but there are many people who are intensely irritated by such errors, and to irritate your reader with your first sentence is a bad start indeed. He may suspect that an author who is careless and casual about grammar may have been careless and casual about the rest of his work. So while the main reason for observing the conventions of grammar is obviously to avoid ambiguity, it is worth while taking care to be accurate even if only to avoid the suspicion of casualness which your writing may reflect on the rest of your work. Punctuation A principal fault in punctuation concerns the use of the comma, the most overworked punctuation mark in the language. Various constructions need commas but the tendency is to use too many. Some writers use a comma where a more definite stop is needed: "For units using hydrogen as the coolant, oil sealed glands must be provided, this had meant an additional function for the lubricating oil." In avoiding excessive use of commas you should beware of the opposite extreme of using too few. A long sentence without punctuation may be difficult to understand. Take this example: "The tower of the building which is about 60 feet high is a local landmark and we should not recommend its removal when we plan to reconstruct the area as there is considerable public opinion in favour of its preservation and we cannot carry it through without having that opinion which is influential on our side." That one sentence should of course be broken up into at least three for clarity, but even so it would be ambiguous. Is it

FINDING THE RIGHT WORDS

27

the tower or the building that is 60 feet high? A comma would settle it one way, though rewriting would be needed — the tower of the 60 feet high building — to settle it the other. Rewriting could also make the first meaning clear — the 60 feet high tower of the building — and this is much the best way to do it since even with commas round "building, which is about 60 feet high, is a local . . ." the meaning could be misunderstood. Passive construction The tendency to write in the passive voice should be avoided. For instance, the last sentence would have more effect if written: "You should not write in the passive voice if you can avoid it". Normally the active construction is more direct and vigorous. Compare "The alcohol was seen to evaporate" with "The alcohol evaporated", or "Rupture was observed to occur in the steel skin" with "The steel skin broke". You should also try to avoid the particularly lifeless construction, "It. . . that. . .". For example, "It would appear tempting to suppose that", "It may be said that", and "It can readily be calculated from the following table that". Pomposity Avoid it. You can imagine the effect on the reader of the following sentence: "Let us not hesitate to express our doubts that there can be any justification for the vast majority of these claims." Is it really better to write, "Rectification can be effected by" for "It can be put right by"? Writers on technical subjects seem particularly prone to prefer "utilize" to "use", "exhibits" to "shows", and "an application" to "a use". Long or complicated words should only be preferred to short simple ones if they convey shades of meaning that the simpler ones do not. All these defects in style can irritate your readers, and, as we have said, irritants only distract them and hinder their under-

28

TECHNICAL WRITING AND PRESENTATION

standing of your work. Let us sum up what we have said about style. To get acceptable style, use deliberately chosen, precise words. Vary the length of your sentences and paragraphs, but keep the average length fairly short. Use the active voice where possible and write in accepted, grammatical English. Avoid excessive jargon, beware of verbosity, and don't be pompous. Checking readability How can you check that you have followed these recommendations? There are several objective methods, but none is as useful as informed criticism from a colleague. The outside view will always spot things that the writer, however objective he tries to be, will miss. However, it is not alway possible to get another opinion, and the Gunning "Fog Index" can be useful then. This index does not give an infallible rating of readability: it is a guide and, if treated as no more than that, a useful one. The index is obtained from word and sentence length, and is supposed to correspond with the number of years of education needed to understand the passage tested. For instance, a passage with a Fog Index of 18 would need a graduate level reader: one with an index of 10 could be understood by someone who left school at 15. Clearly this is a rough and ready assessment, but it does aid subjective judgement. This is how it is done: 1. Find the average number of words per sentence in a passage at least five sentences long. 2. Find the percentage of words of three syllables or more in the same section. Exclude capitalized words, combinations of words, such as book-keeper, or two syllable words made longer by adding " d " or "ed", such as "included". 3. Add the two figures, and multiply the result by 0*4. The answer is the "Fog Index". The method can be applied to

29 any part of a report but if the index varies considerably in different parts the writing is uneven, and some rewriting may be necessary. Consider the following example: FINDING THE RIGHT WORDS

"Included in this series are editor and /or writer positions which require a substantial knowledge of the subjectmatter field (but less than the knowledge characteristic of fully-trained and qualified workers in the subject-matter field) and equally important, writing and editing skills. In recruiting for these positions neither type of qualification predominates. Technical editors and/or writers come from among those whose work experience or education has been in an appropriate subject-matter field or fields and who also have had some writing or editing experience. There are also some technical writers or editors among those whose work experience or education has been in the fields of writing, journalism, or English, and who have had, in addition, work experience (e.g. as non-professional support level or as a vocational instructor of a pertinent subject), technical school training, or college courses in an appropriate subject-matter field or in a combination of subjectmatter fields. For positions in this series, the combination of both kinds of qualifications is always required, and neither is the sole recruitment factor."1 This passage contains one sentence of 68 words, and the word "field" or "fields" occurs seven times. There seems no reason why "subject-matter field" should not be called "subject", or "knowledge characteristics" "knowledge". There are 178 words in the passage, giving an average sentence length of 35*6 words. There are 35 words of three or more syllables, approximately 20%. Adding the two numbers and multiplying the result by 0*4 gives a Fog Index of 22. You may be able to correlate this figure with the ease with which you understood the passage. 1

Part of United States Civil Service Commisions Series GS-1083-0.

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TECHNICAL WRITING AND PRESENTATION

We certainly do not recommend that you should make a regular practice of syllable-counting, but we do suggest that you check your own work in this way now and again. This check can usefully supplement, though it cannot replace, an informed outside comment. The title The title of your report may well be the last thing decided but it will be the first thing the reader sees. Within the limits of your subject, it should be as attractive and interesting as possible. A bad title may mislead your reader into expecting something he is not going to get. It may prevent him from starting to read at all, on the assumption that your report contains nothing of interest to him. Keep the title descriptive, and as short as is consistent with that. The following title is descriptive, but it is much too long: "A report on some of the problems encountered by J. Smith & Sons Limited of Ballantrae in re-surfacing High Street, Blenheim with cold-rolled asphalt." This title is bad not only because it is too long, but also because it contains more information than is needed. The reader is unlikely to need the full name and location of the contractors before he even begins to read the report, and he could assume without being specifically told that the report would deal with problems encountered. A better title would be "Resurfacing Blenheim High Street with cold-rolled asphalt", or even "Resurfacing Blenheim High Street", depending on the reader to whom the report was directed. At the other extreme, a title like "Inorganic Chemicals" is bad (for a report) as it is too short to be descriptive. It tells the reader nothing of the kind of inorganic chemicals, or the aspect of them, that is dealt with. Does it deal with manufacture? Or with marketing? Or with quality? Or with the economics of production? The title does not say. A title like "Manufacturing

31 Heavy Inorganic Chemicals in Britain" or "The Uses of Inorganic Chemicals in the Plastics Industry" would give specific information about the contents of the report. Although "Inorganic Chemicals" is a poor title for a short report, it would probably be a good one for a comprehensive textbook on the subject. Titles must be suitable for the type of publication intended. FINDING THE RIGHT WORDS

CHAPTER 4

THE FIRST DRAFT a knowledge of the various criteria you can apply to your writing, and with a basic structure established as explained in Chapters 1 and 2, you can now begin to write. The first stage is the "first draft". Polished English is not necessary yet. What is necessary is to get down on paper all the ideas, facts, and thoughts you wish to convey, in the order in which you wish to convey them, and to link them together in a connected narrative by means of words, sentences and paragraphs. The first problem is to decide what you are going to put under each of the headings of your basic structure, but if the structure is correct in the first place, this should be a relatively simple task. Where the correct place is not immediately evident, or if a fact or opinion could go in two different places, a process of trial and error will soon establish where best to put it. WITH

An example discussed To see how this works in practice, consider again the example given earlier on the subject of possible fuel demands in Britain in 1975. One main heading was "Difficulty of forecasting changes in demand", with the sub-headings, "General review" and "Factors affecting forecasts". The latter sub-head has the further sub-heads "Economic and Political" and "Technical". The first draft of this section would be built up by writing down, under each heading, notes about the topics you wished to mention. This, in effect would give a synopsis of this section of the report. In this example, the synopsis might look like this: 32

THE FIRST DRAFT

33

DIFFICULTY OF FORECASTING CHANGES IN DEMAND GENERAL REVIEW — rapid rise in oil consumption throughout world — both gross and proportionately — forecasting not easy — over-generous past forecasts — what went wrong — slow down in industry — more efficient use of fuel. FACTORS AFFECTING FORECASTS

(a) Economic and Political — consider level of production — quote Robinson Commission figures by OEEC — Common Market effect — increased production effect — fuel demand rise greater than Gross National Product — fuel economy not prime consideration, but competition may stimulate fuel economy. Tax policies — may artificially stimulate or retard demand (b) Technical — forecasts assume no major technical changes — could be wrong — nuclear power — fuel cell development — new discoveries oil, natural gas could affect.

At this stage in writing a first draft, a critical examination of your synopsis helps you to decide if the facts are in the order you want them, and to see if you have included them all. You may wish to change the order. For instance, in this example, you could have second thoughts about putting "Economical and Political" before "Technical" if your readers were to be technical people. With the sequence of headings and notes fixed, you could now begin to build up the draft with words. The result might read something like this: DIFFICULTY OF FORECASTING ENERGY DEMAND GENERAL REVIEW. There has been a rapid increase in oil consumption in all parts of the world, both in the gross amount of oil used and in the proportion of that amount relative to total fuel consumption. Forecasting what will happen in the future is not easy, and the penalties for unsuccessful forecasts may be considerable. Troubles affecting fuel supply in Europe now are due to over-generous demand forecasts made some years ago. Where did these forecasts err? The energy gap forecast then was upset by a pause in industrial production, and by more efficient use of fuel, leading to less of it being needed for a given amount of work. FACTORS AFFECTING FORECASTS

(a) Political and Economic Factors. The first thing to decide in forecasting energy demand is what the level of production is likely to be. Calculating the Gross National Product (GNP)

TECHNICAL WRITING AND PRESENTATION is not enough to show future energy requirements. The OEEC Secretariat estimated for the Robinson Commission that the Gross National Product of the OEEC countries would rise from 100 in 1955, their base year, to 183 in 1975, a rate of growth of about 3 per cent each year. Taking into account increased efficiencies in fuel use, growth in industry and in energy demand and potential demand for various fuels, the index of primary energy demand was estimated at 172 for 1975. A similar calculation made from figures supplied by various countries in the OEEC area gave an index of 167, and figures supplied by four major oil companies gave an index varying from 171 to 185. After considering all the figures, the Robinson Commission finally decided on an index of fuel demand ranging from 158 to 183 in 1975. The Common Market. The above forecasts assume little change in political conditions both in fuel using and fuel producing countries. One factor that could considerably affect forecasts is the Common Market. If Britain eventually joins the Common Market, one effect would be to increase production and hence increase fuel demand. The GNP in Britain would be expected to rise more rapidly, and fuel demand to rise proportionately more, because initially fuel economy would not be a prime consideration. Later, increased competition might stimulate fuel economy. Tax Policies. Fuel price policies, including taxes, will affect fuel demand because they may cause variations in total industrial production, and they will affect demand for individual fuels. A tax on one fuel can divert demand to another. (b) Technical Factors. A forecast of future energy demands usually assumes that no major technical changes will take place. This assumption may be far from correct. Nuclear power is expected to account for over 30 million tons of coal equivalent in Britain by 1975, but a more rapid development of fast reactors could drastically alter that picture. So too, could the commercial development of the fuel cell. The discovery of more commercial amounts of oil or natural gas in this country remains a possibility that could also affect the accuracy of any forecasts.

This would be the first draft of this section of the report, and would probably not be exactly as you wanted it. The next task would be to rewrite the sections that are obscure, too detailed or not detailed enough, or need re-writing for any of the reasons

35 discussed in this chapter. For example, you might consider that you needed to define what "OEEC" and the "Robinson Commission" were, or you might wish to be more explicit about the fuel cell.1 It is a good idea to get someone else to read your manuscript, as he will be able to see errors that you, with your familiarity with the subject, have missed. Eventually, your first draft will be amended and rewritten, and from the revised version the final typescript can be prepared. THE FIRST DRAFT

1 'OEEC" stood for Organization for European Economic Cooperation (since replaced by OECD: Organization for European Cooperation and Development). The Robinson Commission was a commission set up by OEEC to report on energy use in Europe.

CHAPTER

5

SOME EXAMPLES DISCUSSED THE previous chapters of this book have outlined the principles on which successful writing on technical subjects is based. The bulk of this chapter is devoted to examples of technical articles written according to these principles. The examples show how a subject may be treated in more than one way to suit the particular readership for which it is intended. Examples (I) The first pair of examples shows in facsimile two methods of presentation for the same purpose. Later examples show different methods of presentation for different purposes. The authors of the first pair of examples were reporting to their Director on the need for a technical information service in their organization and on ways of operating it. Both begin with a covering note, but the first version of the note is better, because it reminds the reader (in case he has forgotten) why the work was done, and summarizes the results. As we said earlier in this book, a summary at the beginning of a report allows the readers to find quickly what it is about and lets them decide if they need to read the details. The summary is supplemented by a list of contents. The first report is written in the first person to avoid wordiness and the pomposity of "it is understood that" or "it should be observed that", and the author began by writing down main and sub-headings and arranging them in suitable order before starting to write: 36

SOME EXAMPLES DISCUSSED date

1.1.6*f

to

Deputy Director

from

ABC

37

I attach my report on the examination you asked me to make of the case for starting a central information system in this organization.

I recommend that

1·

We start a system as soon as possible

2.

We should first consult an information specialist on suitable methods of storing and retrieving information.

To make the system effective» we shall have to enlist th