Second Chance [Paperback ed.] 1551058529, 9781551058528

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SYD BANKS SECOND #

SECOND CHANCE

Digitized by tlie Internet Archive in

2013

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http://archive.org/details/secondchanceOOsydb

O N H A N C

E C

By S\;dne\;

Banks

Published by

Mcd-Psych Publications Pine Mountain Press.

Inc..

Publishing Group

P.O. Box 13604

Wauwatosa, WI 53226

Cover

Illustration:

© 1983

Richard Mayer

by Sydney Banks (Richard Sullivan) in Canada

Copyright, 1983 by Sydney Banks

book may not be reproduced in part any form or manner, without the express

All rights reserved. This

or in

its total, in

written consent of the publisher. Manufactured

in

USA.

ISBN: 0-89769-053-2

I

9

Dedication

To humanity alleviate

in

some

the

hope

that

it

may

help

of the needless suffering.

Second Chance

FOREWORD This

ed within

book and the knowledge

exists as

ience the author

to

a direct result of an exper-

had a few years ago. The

and events are

characters

contain-

fictitious in

order

protect the privacy of those involved.

The

story takes place

on the

island of

Maui where Richard Sullivan, a young, terminally executive from New York comes seeking some peace of mind from his dilemma. He enill

somewhat by the name

counters a

mysterious, mystical

character

of

Jonathan Davies,

who's philosophical ideas are both intriguing and controversial. Through Jonathan he meets a beautiful and wise elderly Hawaiian lady

known

Mamma Lila.

She speaks of the hidden powers that exist beyond mankind's mental as

comprehension.

Second Chance

These encounters illustrate the profound effect which the understanding and mystical powers held by Mamma Lila have on his

life.

Second Chance

Chapter

9

1

Second Chance

10

Second Chance

7T was

two months ago that I arrived for the first time at the Maui airport. Like many others was seeking some rest, some sun and some time to evaluate my life which at this point was shattered. My wife had died after two brief years of marriage. Three months later I was told by my doctors that had an inoperable, malignant tumor at the base of my spine. My nerves were completely frayed and I was the perfect candidate for a nervous breakdown. was loaded with pills. had pills for exactly

I

I

I

pain,

pills

I

for

nervous tension,

and pills to help

my

life

for sleeping

me forget the existing horrors of

— ''anti-depressants"

The pain

pills

nothing

seemed could

it

pills

they were called.

eased the pain temporarily, but

11

stop the blind panic or

Second Chance

I

from asking, "Why? Why me?" had been advised to try a therapy group and although I had read all about the various therapies they hadn't helped me. tried stop

me

I

I

Gestalt but the panic continued. 'There's a bet-

someone said. "Try meditation." There seemed to be an abundance of ideas and ter

answer,"

any answer problems. Perhaps there wasn't an

techniques to to

my

answer

try,

yet

I

failed to find

someone in my predicament. How well remember my first glimmer

for

I

Hawaiian girls greeting us with flower leis and the melodious "Aloha." Outside the airport I stood surrounded by hedges of pink bougainvillea. Stately palms of beautiful Maui; the shapely

swayed gently in the warm breeze and flowers were in brilliant color everywhere. I took a deep breath of the soft Maui air then headed towards the hotel courtesy bus. From there it was a twenty-five minute drive to my hotel where once again was greeted with warm hospitality. "Hang loose," said a large Hawaiian porter. "You are in Hawaii so hang loose and leave I

12

Second Chance

your problems behind." thought,

"if

it

were

"How

wonderful,"

I

really that simple."

After being given directions at the front

found my room tastefully decorated in Hawaiian decor. Behind me was the golf course and in front lay a wide expanse of well kept lawn dotted with palm trees. A view of turquoise water and couples enjoying themselves by the pool suddenly brought a feeling of loneliness desk,

I

and no longer saw the beauty. The old feelings and thoughts were back in my head. "Why me?" A pain shot through my spine and stifI

I

fened, automatically reaching for

ease the pain.

shower bed.

I

I

my

pills

to

wasn't hungry so after a hot

took a sleeping

pill

and climbed

into

Soon was drifting off. awoke the next morning with a feeling I

I

of disappointment.

hoped

Hawaii was not what

I

had

would be. It did not possess the tranquility that had expected. It had not helped me in any way with my problems; still felt the way had at home. I wondered if there was any such it

I

I

13

I

Second Chance

thing as a resting place in this world. I

got up and decided to spend

my

first

day on the grounds of the hotel. lay in the sun by the pool for awhile, watched the people and walked around exploring the surroundings. About four o'clock began to feel restless and bored. had been told that Lahaina was a unique litte town well worth seeing, so decided to rent a car and visit it myself. The drive into Lahaina had some incredible scenery but my mind was so busy I

I

I

1

I

couldn't appreciate

pointment I

of

me

LAHAINA — 3

in front

As a bolt had struck me, my whole body sud-

felt electrified. I

again the disap-

Hawaii swept over me.

that said

tingled.

Once

turned the corner to find a sign

of lightning

denly

in

it.

felt

Every

miles.

fiber of

if

my

being

a tremendous force pulling

me

unknown destination in Lahaina. Something was happening to me that had

towards some

I

was exciting and at the same time frightening as my mind struggled to assess my emotions. As entered the town never experienced before.

It

I

14

Second Chance

the force I

yan

became undeniably parked

tree that

my

stronger.

car by a magnificent ban-

looked as

if it

of time. Across the road

I

had weathered years

could see a charming,

old, turn-of-the century building,

commanding

a view of the ocean.

The Pioneer Inn, was told, had quite a historic background. As gazed entranced at the I

I

scene around me,

over me.

I

turned

come and began wandering down I

felt

a sense of peace

the picturesque street fronted by quaint old-

fashioned stores.

harbour caught gate.

A

little

cafe, overlooking the

my eye and

I

decided to

'The Crow's Nest" had

investi-

a distinctive

—

atmosphere perched above the sea, open to the air on three sides, little birds flying

tropical

through, stopping here and there for crumbs.

A beautiful blonde waitress with a golden tan came towards me. As she took my order, we began to discuss Lahaina. She explained how Lahaina had grown from a small settlement to a world-renowned port-of-call for the then vast whaling fleets. Sailors of

15

many nations

Second Chance

Her conversation was with interesting and humorous anecdotes. finished my refreshments and decided

regarded filled

it

as Paradise.

I

to continue

my exploration of Lahaina.

I

walked

down the steps and onto the street. stood there for a moment then once again, felt myself being pulled by some unknown force in the direction I

I

of the Pioneer Inn.

My

whole body

vibrated.

The hairs on my neck felt electrified, my heart pounded and felt breathless. It was the same feeling had had earlier and one that could not explain, yet was as tangible as the sidewalk I

I

I

I

it

stood on.

approached the Pioneer Inn and noticed a green lawn by the library fronted by an old stone wall. A few people sat on the wall meditating, others sat under palm trees and still others stood looking seaward at the sunset. In front of me lay an incredible vista of I

sailboats silhouetted in the setting sun.

A golden

path cut across the blue water, high-lighting the last of

the day s surfers approaching

the incoming waves.

home

with

A stillness seemed to per-

16

Second Chance

vade. Out of nowhere the gentle whisper of the

evening trade winds seemed

to caress

everuhing around me. In the

midst of

this

man apwall. He was

scene a

peared and walked slowly to the about 5 -8" was clean shaven and had black '

.

hair. In the

judge

gathering twilight

it

was

difficult to

His face was free of lines and his

his age.

body youthful and supple. drawn towards this person so walked over and sat down beside him. There was a quality of strength, a presence, that emanated from him. Turning towards me. his smiling blue eyes held mine for a moment then his gaze retumed to the sunset. After the sun had set. people quietly began to talk. felt a deep feeling of tranquility. turned to the gentleman beside me. feeling, for no reason at all. that he was someone could talk to All at once began to pour out of me all Inexplicably

I

felt

I

I

I

I

it

.

:

my new experiences that day. had. what

mendous

I

had been

feeling

tranquility that

17

I

all

the problems

and now

I

this n'e-

hadn't experienced

Second Chance

since

I

was a I

child.

He

sat listening patiently.

explained that I was vice-president of a

furniture manufacturing corporation,

New

based

York. At the age of twenty-nine,

a failure.

that

had

I

was

owned my own home but still Added to my problems was the fact

financially stable, felt

I

in

just

I

found out

had an inoperable

I

tumor at the base of my spine. felt the world had definitely been cruel to me and couldn't help asking myself "Why me?" Looking deep into my eyes, the stranger began to speak. "Why not look at it this way? There is no such thing as a failure. Surely failure is only in the eyes of the beholder and the I

more

Don't you see,

failure will be.

that

more

the belief exists the

is

the seed, the failure

the thought

it

is

is

it

the so-called is

the thought

the form. Without

virtually impossible to

be a

failure."

His words created an excitement within

me

though

said.

I

I

didn't

felt relief

understand what he had

wash over

spoke again.

18

me

as the stranger

Second Char.ce

me

appears lo

"It

inai

you have no

hope, but one should never feel hopeless because there is an answer to everylhing." sai speechless, not knowing what to I

say. Finally

I

gathered

quired. ''How can

everything

my

bearings and

you say there

is

in-

an answer to

when am sitting here right now with I

an inoperable, malignant tumor at the base of my spine? have tried three different specialists and the prognosis is that I have from six months to two years to live. As my condition deteriorI

ates

I

will

gradually

become

crippled

and

ultimately bedridden with a great deal of pain.

How

can there possibly be an answer

He gazed on

his face

see

this

at

me

viith total

and answered. "The

world as the only

reality^

to this?'^

compassion

trouble

is

that exists.

vou

You

have trapped yourself on a level of consciousness. You must learn to take the limitations off life

and see

there are

more

realities

than meet

the eye/'

The man's words took me by It

was not the kind

of

surprise.

answer I expected nor had

19

Second Chance

I

ever heard such an incredible statement.

I

sat

moment then replied, ''What you just said does not make any sense to me. It just doesn't make sense!" utterly

speechless for a

I

His eyes twinkled,

didn't expect

"I

it

would," he replied.

Normally

I

would have

felt

angry and

by such a statement but his honesty was so straight forward that I found myself smiling. insulted

We

sat in silence for awhile

"What

then

I

inquired,

your idea of success?"

is

He looked out to sea as dering. "Simple,"

he

said.

he were pon"Happiness and conif

tentment." I

on

his

waited patiently for him to expound

theory but he just sat there. "Is that all?"

I

inquired, "Just happiness

and contentment." "Yes," he replied.

was about to inquire further into his philosophy as had a dozen questions stirring in my mind but he rose, touched my shoulder gently with his hand and said, "I must leave I

I

20

I

Second Chance

.

now, but we will meet again ed and walked away. I

sat

fade, then

As

I

was

I

watching the

"

last

With

that

color of the sunset

got up and walked towards

driving

home

I

he turn-

my car.

realized that

I

didn't

even know the stranger's name nor had I told him mine. I wondered if really would see him I

again.

His words had

stirred

me and

in

my

head kept hearing over and over again. "There is an answer to everything." It was not only his words that captivated me but the conviction with which he said them. A feeling of joy came over me and tears ran down my cheeks. Perhaps there was hope, of which the stranger had spoken. I

21

Second Chance

22

Second Chance

Chapter 2

23

Second Chance

24

Second Chance

COUPLE

days passed since my meeting with the unusual stranger. I \y 1 had spent them close to my hotel as I found I couldn't stay in any one position very long without pain. Tonight, however, I felt the of

urge to venture into Lahaina. stranger again

I

hoped to see the

and perhaps have another

in-

teresting conversation with him.

When

I

arrived in Lahaina the sun

was

on the sea that fronted the little village. There was no breeze. It was very warm and still. looked around but saw no sign of the man was looking for. A feeling of disappointment swept over me and began to chastise myself for being so foolish. What was doing running around looking for someone about whom knew absolutely a huge

ball of

red

fire sitting

I

I

I

I

I

25

Second Chance

nothing?

It

was an absurd

moment

situation. felt

someone touch

my shoulder from behind and

heard a cheerful

At

that

''Aloha." Turning,

man

I

I

looked into the eyes of the

sought.

"You know,"

you you

I

left

I

said, "I realized

had told even know

the other night that although

my

when

I

whole life history, didn't your name, nor had told you mine." ExtendI

I

my hand said, ''My name is Richard Sullivan." He clasped mine firmly and said, "I'm ing

I

Jonathan Da vies." The sun had

now

slipped into the sea

and the land. The fleeting twilight was pink and the whole sky seemed to be alive. Perhaps this was the "Maui magic" had heard people speak of. I asked Jonathan if he would like to join leaving pastel color over the sky, the sea

I

me

for dinner at the

Pioneer Inn.

"I'd

love to,"

he said. We walked into the rotunda of the Inn and got the feeling of being back in time. thought of all the life this hotel must have seen. It certainly was a unique place. I

I

26

Second Chance

The hostess ushered us through the rotunda to a courtyard. was surprised to see a swimming pool with turquoise water reflecting the light of tiki torches and a gazebo surrounded by gently swaying palms. The sky was clear and dotted with a thousand stars. There was a feelI

ing of great beauty, almost of unreality about the place.

When we

were seated.

told

Jonathan

meeting the other night had been a

that our

for

me and

that

philosophy

difficult to

com-

remarkable experience although found I

prehend.

his

had been intrigued. went on to tell had never felt such extreme emotions I

I

him

that

I

as

had

since our meeting.

I

I

He

listened attentively to w'hat

saying, then he said. "Don't try to figure

Just enjoy your vacation

found

was

it

out.

and your good new-

feelings.""

'Tm son.""

I

I

said,

afraid

"and

I

am a ver\' inquisitive peram intrigued by the events of I

the other evening."

"Don"t you

know what

27

curiosity did to

Second Chance

the cat?" Jonathan asked with a chuckle, as

if

he

"Had you been able to SEE you would have found the answer you

knew something sought.

I

didn't.

was right before your eyes." "What do you mean couldn't SEE?" It

I

I

asked. can't

"I

Jonathan

tell

replied.

you what I mean by SEEING," "It is something you must ex-

perience for yourself. stance,

The

when you were

other night for

sitting

on the

in-

wall look-

ing at the sunset, the presence of true

know-

was all around you. The beautiful /ee//ngs you had were related to the amount of knowledge you absorbed. However, had you SEEN, you most certainly would not be asking me this question. SEEING is an experience of going beyond the intellectual capabilities to which you ledge

now

limit yourself." I

somewhat

felt

insulted

by

his

words

and assured him that I thought my intelligence was equal to his; that after graduating and having gone on to get my Master's degree in Administration,

I

felt

capable of understanding his

28

Second Chance

definition of

SEEING.

He looked at me intently for a moment, shook about

head, and replied, ''You are talking

his

intellectual intelligence, are ''Yes, of

"How

course,"

you not?"

answered.

I

wonderful," he said,

were that simple, but it isn't. One can't just memorize and understand. What am trying to tell you doesn't lend itself to mankind's way of thinking intellectually. Remember, told you the other evening that there are more realities than meet the eye. This SEEING must come from an experience of SEEING another reality." There was a long pause as my mind scrambled for a foothold. For years had been proud of my ability to fence verbally with people. Now felt had come upon an opponent, "if

it

I

I

I

I

who managed

I

to confuse

me

in

a

manner so

unorthodox that my intellectual logic couldn't cope. I felt my ego badly bruised. This man sitting across the table from me was so different, a tremor of fear ran all the way through me. I had never had a conversation with anyone who

29

Second Chance

made me feel this way. and

I

said,

didn't

It

was very disconcerting

understand why.

He seemed to sense my confusion and "Listen, my friend. For some unkown

reason you and

have crossed paths in this life. We have encountered each other. Call it fate or whatever you wish. When I first saw you, took a liking to you. I could SEE you wanted someI

I

one

to talk to; so here

we

are sitting in this

beautiful restaurant. Let's just enjoy this evening."

We

both smiled as the atmosphere changed from one of intensity to one of lightheartedness.

"Have you always

lived in

Hawaii?"

I

asked Jonathan.

"No," he replied, "but I feel it is my home. I've been here about ten years. I was born and raised on a small farm in Arizona with

my three

brothers

and two

sisters.

second world war I met and wife. Right after our marriage

"After the

married

my

we moved

late

to

Alabama where we had two

30

Second Chance

children, Brian ticing

physician

and in

Craig. Brian

is

now

Baltimore and Craig

a prac-

still

lives

Alabama where he teaches school." The waiter arrived with the wine list. asked Jonathan if he had any preference. He shook his head and said, ''No, thanks. Alcohol makes my head fuzzy. don't like the taste of in

I

it

I

so

I

don't drink." I

was

medication so fortable

ant

and

on felt very com-

reluctant to take alcohol while I

declined as well.

relaxed.

It

was a

I

beautiful restaur-

and the food was delicious. "It's good to see you starting

Jonathan

said.

"As they say

in

to relax,"

Hawaii, 'Hang

loose'."

"That's a nice expression.

I

like it."

I

replied.

We sat looking at the other tourists,

en-

was present. After awhile Jonathan turned to me and began speaking, "You know, Richard, what you have to do, is find out what MIND is, then you will know how to solve your prob-

joying the holiday feeling that

31

Second Chance

lems."

him

"That

is

the

most astounding theory have ever heard

in

my

I

stared at

in disbelief. I

life,"

I

answered. '1t is

not a theory," Jonathan said.

Then he casually continued eating his dinner. The conviction with which this man me. "Wait a minute," said, "are you trying to tell me, if I start to find out what the mind is this will fix my problems?" "That is exactly what I am saying," he spoke

startled

I

replied.

"Analyzing and judging

you nowhere. All you will find are the obvious games you play on yourself and others. One must go deeper, beyond the superficial games, beyond all the experiences related to the past and SEE that

it

one's

is

own

ponsible for carrying ings

will

get

thought system that all

is

res-

illusionary negative feel-

and behavioral patterns from the past." had taken courses in psychology for I

two years at university and felt was well enough informed to defeat my adversary on this I

32

Second Chance

point.

you believe in the Freudian theory that all our habits and behavioral patterns ''Don't

start in early

childhood?"

asked.

I

"Yes." Jonathan said,

"I

agree whole-

heartedly that our behavioral patterns

start

then,

more to that statement than meets the eye. You have to go deeper into the was your own subconscious to realize that mind that picked up the habits and problems via however, there

is

it

an experience." '1 realize fully

that

into the subconscious,"

some

agree that to hold

on

we have to go deeper I

conceded.

doctrines are of

to the past

is

little

irrelevant.

'1

also

value and

However,

all

my thoughts and behavioral patterns are a direct result of my experiences from the past and there is

only so

much can do I

about that."

Looking at Jonathan, I had a feeling of smug contentment that I had finally trapped him into a corner.

"You're a fool," he stated. "I

beg your pardon,"

33

I

blurted out, sur-

Second Chance

prised at his words.

you are a fool." he repeated. "Don't you see that you are still stuck in the past and have given up hope. It is theories like this '1

human

that stop stable

said

beings from functioning

manner and keep them

in their

in

a

dilem-

mas."

and anger rose demanded: "How can you say that a

All at in

me as

I

once

I

felt

deflated

traumatic experience from the past

when

in fact

"Fm

it

is

happened?" you have missed

illusionary

actually

afraid

my point,"

"What I am saying is that the traumatic experience was real then, but now it is Jonathan only an

replied.

illusion

from the

past, carried

through

time via thought." "This

is

where most theories

fail,"

he

continued. "Parents, friends, events and the

memories

of

them

are

blamed instead

of seeing

person is responsible for their own negative thought patterns. Most theories help convince the person that the mind is passive

that the

and incapable of freeing itself from the past." He

34

paused. "'Have you any idea

r,ov