Rich brother rich sister : two different paths to God, money and happiness

Citation preview

Rich Rich

SISTER Two Different Paths to

GOD,

MONEY and

HAPPINESS

Robert Kiyosaki Entrepreneur and International Best Selling

Author of Rich

Dad Poor Dad

Emi Kiyosaki Venerable Tenzin Kacho

Ordained by His Holiness the Dalai Lama

ADVANCE READER'S COPY

Digitized by the Internet Archive in

2012

http://archive.org/details/richbrotherrichsOOkiyo

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

Rich Brother Rich Sister

Two

Different Paths to

God, Money and Happiness by

Robert Kiyosaki

and Emi

Kiyosaki (Venerable Tenzin

Kacho)

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

Table of Contents

FROM THE DINING ROOM WINDOW

CHAPTER

1

CHAPTER

2

A

SHELTER

CHAPTER

3

A

TELLING HISTORY

FROM THE STORM

CHAPTER 4

LIVES IN TRANSITION

CHAPTER

5

THE EARLY PATHS

CHAPTER

6

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO

CHAPTER

7

LEAPS OF FAITH

CHAPTER

8

WHY WE FOLLOW OUR TEACHERS

CHAPTER

9

ROBERT'S RICH BROTHER PRINCIPLES

CHAPTER

10

TENZIN'S RICH SISTER PRINCIPLES

CHAPTER

1

LIFE

CHAPTER

1

LIVING WITH

BE

WHEN YOU GROW

AND DEATH GRACE, DYING WITH GRACE

UP?

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

'The test of a first rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function."

the

-F. Scott Fitzgerald

in

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

Robert asks:

How are you living

your

Emi

life?

replies:

We die as we live.

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

CHAPTER

FROM THE DINING ROOM WINDOW

1

ROBERT'S STORY: Just after dinner,

family

on an evening

in

the

summer of

1962, the Kiyosaki

—four children, a mom and a dad were doing what families

across America were doing: They were watching TV, probably "The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet," a family favorite. The place was Hilo, Hawaii. And in this small town, television was limited to just one station which meant families watched whatever was on, together. But

on

this

one

particular evening, the Kiyosaki family witnessed

something they hadn't bargained

and

for.

Something

far

beyond

That night they experienced was a harsh, blinding white flash, and it lit up the whole room—just for an

Ozzie

Harriet.

instant.

am about to tell you changed and my whole family's life. reorganized our thinking about God, war, peace and money. also impacted our actions and our futures. I'm Robert Kiyosaki,

and

my life, my sister Emi's

the story

I

life

It

It

of us asked spontaneously, "Did someone take our picture?" The family sat there, stunned, after all, this started out to be a night like any other night. "What happened?"

"What was that?" one

just

about a minute, Beth, the youngest of us said, "Oh, my God! Look out the window!" As each of us moved toward the window, we uttered exactly the same words, "Oh, my God." After

While other Americans simply went on watching TV, there we in front of our dining room window, watching the sky, as it turned from a brief angry orange to a swirling deep red and about

stood,

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

twenty minutes didn't

know

atomic

it

bomb

later to

dark purple and

at the time, but

finally

what we were

explosion spreading

its

back

We

to black.

witnessing

was an

wrath across the Pacific

sky.

The next day the local paper said the United State's atomic bomb test on Christmas Island looked like someone had poured blood across the sky. A local newscaster described the experience much more graphically, saying it looked like someone had slit the throat of an animal and let the blood gush out across the sky. At first the blood was bright red and frothy because it was still alive with oxygen. As the blood began to die, it began to coagulate, become thicker, transitioning from dark red to purple. Eventually dark purple gave way to black. Thank God the twinkling stars finally pierced the blackness three hours later.

Thank God for sure. In the summer of 1962, was fifteen years old, about to enter high school. Barbara Kiyosaki, or Emi as we called her, was fourteen; Jon thirteen; and Beth eleven. Being so close in age, we were well aware of the times we were living in. We were well aware of the atomic threat and impending wars with the former Soviet Union, Communist China or both. America's atomic bombs and potential atomic war were far, far away from the living rooms of most U.S. citizens. But this one was literally in our 1

just

front yard.

The atomic age affected all of us. We were all old enough to understand the far-reaching implications of the angry sky framed by our living room window. It contradicted the very foundation of

what we had all learned in Sunday school: "Thou shalt not kill." But maybe what we were witnessing was "Onward Christian Soldiers" the title of a well-known protestant hymn we learned in church. was a frightening and confusing time to be a child. It

EMI'S STORY: It wasn't just the sight of the blood-red sky or the difficult contradictions that made it challenging to be a kid in the 60's;

it

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

was

also the ever present emotional dark cloud hanging over us. The threat of nuclear war with the Soviets, the possibility of fighting

enemies with terrifying weapons and the untold consequences death and devastation were on the news every night and

happened

right

of

before our eyes.

As a child living in Hilo, facing the realities a child should not have to face, there was no forgetting the nebulous but constant concern of nuclear holocaust, mass destruction, not caused by God, but by man killing man. It left as strong an imprint on me, Emi Kiyosaki, as it did on Robert. The times and places would least expect it, the nuclear threat would become real. Parks were meant for playing. But in our park, in the middle of town, the city had constructed a model bomb shelter as if to show everyone how it's done. You couldn't miss the formidable structure, and of course, it was open to the public. remember my brief tour well. The tiny, cramped space was damp, cold, and dark. It smelled of earth, mold and wet concrete. couldn't imagine staying in it for more than ten minutes let alone living in it with my family for weeks, if not months. I

I

I

The air raid drills we had in school seemed important then. One minute we'd be struggling through a math problem and the next,

would sound and all us kids would dutifully duck under our Today we know how pointless the exercises really were; but then, we were told hiding under our desks and covering our heads would save our lives. sirens

desks.

much as they could. from the news of escalating global tensions and potential conflicts. They knew, and we sensed, war and strife could arise anywhere and put us in harm's way, even in a remote town on a distant Hawaiian island. There seemed to be something noble about it all. Truth, justice and the American way, said the announcer on "Superman." It seemed we were in a fight of good versus evil, and we were the good guys. Were we all being called to arms even while still in school?

Our parents protected They did

us from the world as

their best to shield us

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

Dad, Ralph Kiyosaki, answered that call by becoming a leader in the local Civil-Defense chapter and Mom, Marjorie Kiyosaki, already a nurse, joined the American Red Cross. remember one evening we drove to another little town where three families had pooled their efforts and built a network of underground adjoining rooms and passageways. It was our first "fallout shelter party." I

These friends of ours were so proud of their massive space that could accommodate more than a dozen people.

were marveling, was becoming more and more Why weren't we doing this? Doesn't our family need one of these shelters? In an attack, would we have time to drive to a shelter? Would others who are already safe and secure let us in? Then there was the real issue. still could not imagine cowering like a trapped animal in a cold, dank bunker, nor could even at this young age, grasp that a cement hive would protect me, given what saw from our picture window. Furthermore, would want to live in a world destroyed by atomic weapons? While others

I

concerned.

I

I,

I

I

my

prospects for the future were rather bleak. My mental on a wasted earth was only compounded by my high school English teacher's choice of literature. Jean-Paul Sartre's play No Exit told of three people who are trapped in a room with no windows and one locked door. The people expect their captors to torture them, only to find out that their torturers are each other. I

felt

image

of being the lonely survivors

Perhaps was ultra-sensitive at the time. Or maybe our teacher trying to tell us something through the voice of a great writer. Regardless, Sartre's, or my teacher's message perhaps, wasn't lost on me. What never could have seen coming, though, was how this piece of literature when combined with the events of 962 I

was

I

1

would

pull

me

toward

my

destiny.

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

ROBERT'S STORY: The

sixties

also brought the assassinations of President

Kennedy;

his

brother and presidential candidate, Bobby Kennedy and civil rights leader, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. This was the time of history into which Emi and were born. Like it or not the times and the experiences within those months and years affected our pasts, our presents and our futures. It was not the world of "Ozzie & Harriet" or Sunday school. I

For

me, a

kid

Mom always said had a mean streak; the times what already had begun to feel and to

who

only reinforced

I

of 15, the same year as the atomic blast, bought a rifle for $81 from a mail order catalog. paid for with all my own money. My dad hated my owning that gun almost as much as loved firing it. At 6, a kid pulled a hand gun on me in a movie theater. Whether it was loaded or not, don't know, but that incident was a psychological and emotional rush. felt fear, was a high a thrill that but that fear grew into excitement. spiked my adrenaline and toughened me.

experience. At the

age

I

it

I

1

I

I

I

—

It

—

my "nice boy" exterior was emerging a side of me my mother didn't want the neighbors to see. It was a side that Sunday school tried to quiet in me while America was calling us all to arms. Behind

What was right and what was wrong? was impossible to tell. At began to question the commandment, "Thou shalt not kill" and began to wonder the commandment should be changed to "kill or be killed." It

sixteen,

I

if

church listened to the lessons and knew they were important. had trouble believing the stories that surrounded them. Creation, Noah and the Ark, the virgin birth of Jesus, his walking on water, just couldn't buy these incredible tales. could not drink the Kool-aid. couldn't buy the stories without questioning them. did not swallow the hook, line or sinker. In

But

I

I

I

I

I

I

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

My

attitude didn't

sit

well with

my mother or what came

to term

I

her Church Lady friends who just believed the dogma without question. "That's what faith is," they would say, "and if you want to go to heaven, you must believe."

Even though Kool-aid wasn't my drink, remained a nice, polite young boy and never challenged the Church Ladies. made my way by putting one foot in front of the other, taking in what made I

I

and leaving behind everything else that didn't. don't know was a path knowingly chose, or one that the times had chosen for me. Either way, knew where was going and what needed to do. My time would come.

sense

I

if it

I

it

I

I

I

of us four kids went in different directions in the search for our answers, especially answers about God, war, money, religion, school and careers. And even though our parents often didn't approve of our choices, the freedom to choose was the way they

Each

own

wanted The bomb gave me the license to pursue my dark side, and within ten years, my rifle had become a Marine helicopter with six machine guns and two rocket pods. The Bible says, "You were born for a time such as this." Perhaps we all were. knew was; my dark side was coming to light. it.

I

in

I

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

Chapter 2 A SHELTER

FROM THE STORM

ROBERT'S STORY: Thankfully, there

a number

wave

was never an atomic war, although Hilo was In the 960s an especially

of disastrous tidal waves.

1

hit

by

large

struck at night, wiping out the low-lying parts of the town,

sixty people. Volcanic eruptions were realities, too. During World War one threatened our entire town. The threat was so real that the military bombed the volcano in an attempt to divert the direction of the flow. One fear was that the light from the lava would serve as a beacon for the Japanese to attack our town. killing

about

II,

As

kids,

we

understood the implications of disaster and the fear

and uncertainty

that

come

with

it.

During the disastrous 1960 tidal

wave, our parents were gone for days, providing much-needed government and medical services to fellow citizens. Our home was on a hill and was not affected by the wave, so they knew we were safe. vividly remember my dad shaking me awake in the I

middle of that disastrous night and saying, "Take care of the The town has been destroyed and many people have been

Mom and may I

not

be home

for awhile."

I

was

kids. killed.

thirteen years old.

did not matter if it was a tidal wave, lava flow, or threat of nuclear war; all of us children grew up in a family environment that did not merely talk about community service and civic responsibility, we grew up with a mom and dad that said very little but who acted a lot. They were great role models. It

We grew up in a family that was actively involved in the solution, in the giving of assistance, and being of service. Instead of Dad talking about the importance of education, he studied. Instead of Mom talking about religion, she practiced her faith at church and in life. Instead of talking about public service, they volunteered in

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

community. They provided a home, a

shelter from the storms protect us. But they could not shelter us from the world. The world came at us from all directions.

their

of

life,

and did

their best to

our family at that time. For young exciting time as well as a frightening one. At times we reveled in national pride of what America was accomplishing, especially in the space program, while we wrestled with the reality of nuclear war delivered from space. There was a very big difference between hearing about the threat of nuclear war in the news and actually witnessing an atomic explosion with our own eyes. Hiding in a fallout shelter and crouching under our desks didn't seem to make much sense. Also, being of Japanese descent, fourth generation Americans, and seeing pictures of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, added more turmoil. This

was the

people of

reality of

era,

this

it

life

for

was an

me, it was next to impossible to fight off a sense of futility, a "what does it matter" outlook on life. know wasn't alone in my feelings of pointlessness. Many children of this era from the 1960s through the 1980s experienced feelings of a childhood lost, or a future that might not be. It's hard to care about or have dreams of tomorrow when you're not sure there will be one. For

I

Witnessing the atomic blast actions, or should

I

in

1962

I

may have

contributed to the

say, reactions of the Kiyosaki family. In 1964,

Mom and Dad

quit their jobs and volunteered for President Kennedy's Peace Corps, taking substantial cuts in pay. My two

peace movement, protesting against the school and in the streets. And my brother and volunteered and served in Vietnam, Jon in the United States Air Force and as a United States Marine. In our own way, ironically, we were all working for peace. sisters

joined the

Vietnam War

in

I

I

EMI'S STORY:

With naive innocence,

was confident

I

trusted that

that our country

was

12

my

parents would protect

inherently

us.

I

good and would do

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

mankind. But the threat of war by its very and suspicion in my mind. For me was unsettling, polarizing and heightened our family's emotions, good and bad. The Vietnam War caused conflict in our home. On the gave us greater meaning in our lives, stoking plus side, perhaps the fire of life into our otherwise complacent selves, helping us things to benefit

all

of

nature evoked fear

it

it

realize that

life

is

fleeting.

we dealt with on the island impacted me as as the "cold" one we were having with the U.S.S.R. That war was coexisting peacefully with Mother Nature. The Big Island of Hawaii heaved then as it does today with the growing pains of Another kind of "war"

much

new

land, active volcanoes

and

slowly sinking landscapes.

Our

who owned a papaya and

orchid farm. One day the earth cracked open and a volcano erupted wiping out still remember our family braving the heat of the their entire farm. eruption and doing our best to help our friends recover what they could from their home before it was engulfed by flames. Both families stood and wept as the home burned. family

had

friends

I

wave

Robert spoke of devastated our beautiful town of :05 in the morning. Robert lost one classmate and one of my childhood friends died in the surge, too. Searchers found my friend's body three days later when they cleared away the rubble of the family home; she was still in bed. Other friends of mine woke up in the middle of night treading water, grabbing onto whatever they could. One elderly friend of our family was carried away in the swell and managed to grab onto some bushes. When the water finally subsided, the bush she was clinging to turned out to be the top of a thirty foot tree. There were many other stories.

The

tidal

Hilo in

1960 at

That night help,

1

Mom and Dad woke us to say they were leaving to go

Knowing

we were

safe, they

went

to set

up an evacuation

working with Mom, other townspeople and kids, as we washed out bolts of fabric from a friend's dry goods store and unrolled the fabric in long rows on the center at the school.

I

recall

days

13

later,

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

lawn of a park to

dry.

had

its

beautiful

Mother Nature wasn't

happened.

Amidst the devastation, the patterns and striking in the sunshine. Even ugliness

were moments.

colors of the material

really

But unlike the

our enemy, lava flows

way we

felt

and

tidal

waves

about atomic bombs and

war, these experiences to us were fascinating displays of nature. We lived with powerful expressions of earth's impermanence all around us. The natural ones, those of God's making, were part of living,

the

man-made ones seemed

part of dying.

ROBERT'S STORY:

book begins with war and natural disasters because they their way into our family and defined each of us, our values, and our search for personal answers to old questions. In many ways made life more precious, not something to be taken

This

forced

it

granted. Without the specter of global atomic destruction and the Vietnam War as backdrops to this era and our lives, neither Emi nor might have begun our personal searches for our own answers to life and God. ..if there was a God. for

I

we were all baptized Christian, there was not much talk God in our home. We reserved prayer for before meals and

Although

about for

those special occasions such as Thanksgiving, Christmas

and

Easter.

Mom went to church faithfully, yet she went to different churches during her years. She gravitated to the church that had the best choir and choir director at Christmas time. especially loved

Mom

season and loved singing Handel's Messiah. For a month before Christmas, the Kiyosaki home reverberated with a thirtythree rpm record album playing the Hallelujah Chorus, over and that

over again.

Dad went to church only on rare occasions; occasions such as his wife singing Handel's Messiah in the choir at Christmas time. Other

14

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER that, he stayed at home, working in the garden, doing his arr, and reading books. That was his way of finding his own separate

than

peace.

Our parents emphasized education about as much as they emphasized religion. Even though my dad would one day become the head of education for the State of Hawaii, he did not push the importance of school on any of us children. we came home with bad grades, he didn't say much. Instead he made sure he was there to help us with our homework; but, only we asked. We didn't even have the common parental pressure of going to college to become a doctor or lawyer. Our parents let us each search for our own answers according to our own interests. This is the family environment that shaped the future of the four Kiyosaki If

if

children. 965, graduated from high school, and yes, the specter of war affected my choice of schools. applied to and received two congressional nominations. One to the U.S. Naval Academy at Annapolis, Maryland, and one to the U.S. Merchant Marine In

1

1

I

Academy

New York. accepted

the appointment Reason number one, my dad wasn't going to pay for my education. He felt was such a bad student that paying for my college would be a waste of his money. Reason number two, found out Kings Pointers were some of the at Kings Point,

I

to Kings Point for four reasons:

I

I

in the world, much higher than Naval Academy graduates. knew that, and even at a young age, money mattered to me. Number three, knew needed a very

highest paid graduates I

I

I

where went would have been a big mistake; would

disciplined environment. The University of Hawaii

strict,

many

of

my

friends

I

have flunked out immediately. And number four, wanted to travel the world by ship and follow in the footsteps of the great explorers like Columbus, Cortez and Magellan. I

I

got

my wish — sort

of.

In

1966, at the

Cam

age

of nineteen,

I

sailed into

Ranh Bay, Vietnam. Kings Point sends its students to sea for a year aboard merchant ships, such as tankers, passenger liners, and

15

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

During that year, students travel throughout the world preparation for a future in the maritime industry. Naturally, had hoped to travel to Europe and South America, but, for some

freighters.

in

I

reason,

bombs

my

first

assignment was on board a freighter carrying

to Vietnam.

a war first hand, rather than just from the movies or on deeply affected my outlook on the world. wondered how we as humans could put so much time, money, effort, and technology into killing each other. The question dogged me because no matter how far away was from the world of war, always seemed to be face to face with it. War, it appeared, was going to be a part of my life whether wanted it to be or not. Witnessing

television,

I

I

I

I

While in Vietnam in 1966, saw my first Buddhist monks. There they stood in their robes with their rice bowls gathering hand outs of food from people on the street. Give them food and the monks would pray for you. If the rice bowl remained down, the monks would not receive anything from you and you would not receive the monks' blessings. That's what we were told, and it bothered me to no end. In Sunday school we were taught to "love thy neighbor as you love yourself." That passage says nothing about whether or not the neighbor gave you food. didn't understand what saw and considered it hypocrisy. It reminded me of my childhood church experiences where I'd watch people be pious in the sanctuary and then cut each other off getting out of the 1

I

I

parking

lot.

Returning from Vietnam in 1966, saw my first hippies Francisco. didn't understand them either. Little did 1

in

San

know my sister would later make both these paths—the peace movement and Buddhism— her own. I

I

that

In 1969, graduated from Kings Point as a Third Mate and accepted a high-paying job with Standard Oil of California on one of their tankers. was a good job with lots of security just like my mom and dad wanted for me. That lasted only six months. The 1

It

16

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

war, the draft and the protests disturbed me. Being in San Francisco, saw the hippies' Summer of Love evolve into a life of drugs and angry protests. Feeling an obligation to take a side, made a decision to quit my job. With the line in the sand drawn and my choice to fight and serve my country made, drove from I

I

I

California to Pensacola, Florida to begin flight school. By 1971,

was back on the West Coast

at

Camp

Pendleton

for

advanced

training in helicopter gunships.

By 1972, found myself again in Vietnam; this time as a Marine Corps lieutenant flying a helicopter off an aircraft carrier. When volunteered, was draft exempt, because my job with Standard Oil of California was classified as a "non-defense vital industry volunteered position" translated, "oil." But that didn't matter. because my younger brother Jon had volunteered. And in truth, wanted to go to war. My dark side, my mean streak wanted to 1

I

I

I

fight.

I

wanted

know what

to

get back to the rush

wanted

to

know and

generation,

if

I

I

I

kill

or

at sixteen

felt

be

killed felt like

had the right stuff. want to miss

didn't

and wanted

to

movie theater. This was the war of my

that

in

I

I

it.

Maybe it is because my family on my father's side is from the Samurai, or warrior class, in Japanese culture. Even though war went against everything learned in Sunday school, my parents' I

peace, and even my own wonder about how people could kill, deep inside of me, understood that killing is and always will be part of human make up. There have been wars

commitment

to

I

and

unfortunately there will be wars in the are weak have always fallen to cultures that have stronger warriors. A warrior's job is actually to keep peace by being ready for war. This is my way of saying that am not against war. am for peace, and am willing to fight for peace, as insane as that may sound.

throughout

history

future. Cultures that

I

I

To survive, keep peace, literally

and

need police

and

figuratively. For

flourish,

officers, fire fighters,

a

civilization

needs

warriors,

every city we will always doctors and nurses, civic leaders,

example,

17

in

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

social workers, environmentalists, politicians, lawyers, educators,

and

and

fight

others cut

and

I

began

who

are warriors at heart. People life, even give their own life run to save themselves.

business leaders

there

to believe

who go

in

—when

—to save a

peace and

prosperity

depended

not

just

upon

peacekeepers, but upon strong warriors. This of course, was at odds with the beliefs of my parents and my sisters.

September 2001 my wife Kim and were in the approach to Leonardo da Vinci airport in Rome crashed into the at the very moment American Airlines flight World Trade Center. Three days later, we were in Istanbul, Turkey, speaking to a group of Muslim business people. began my talk, "I was raised a Christian. have no idea what a Muslim or Islam is. believe that is part of the problem, and apologize for my lack of knowledge about your culture and your religion." Fast forward to

air,

making a

1

1

,

,

I

final

1

1

I

I

I

I

The title of my talk, a title that had chosen several months earlier, before 9/11, was World Peace Through Business. It was either the best title or the worst title for this moment in time. emphasized the importance of financial education, cooperation, and capitalism. And pulling people up through financial education, rather than government handouts. spoke of peace through prosperity, not about religion or war. Standing on that stage in front of hundreds of Muslim men and women noticed three distinct styles of dress in three separate areas of the room: the clothing of the west, the colorful garments of the modern Middle East and the black garments of the Islamic fundamentalist movement. realized that my entire lifetime of experiences was preparing me for that moment. could not speak as a warrior for war, but as a warrior for I

I

I

I

I

I

peace. EMI'S STORY:

Perhaps our entire lives,

sometimes

in

ancestry prepares us for moments in our seemingly round about ways. Yes, our family

life

IS

is

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

Samurai lineage and

of the

was proud

my

in

contrast to

my

non-violent views,

came

from the sense of upholding righteousness over wrong, helping the oppressed and being the noble keeper of peace. That was part of the Samurai tradition, and to me, the sword represented this power, rather than the violence that comes from greed and hatred or power and of

this.

But

pride

property.

Our family has a beautiful Samurai sword that's been handed down for generations. Dad, as the first son of the first son, inherited from his father, my grandfather. remember the occasion when as a family, we gathered around so Mom and Dad could present the sword to Robert, Dad's first son. During this family ceremony, my dad told us of the dignity imparted to us being of Samurai lineage, and he also spoke of the complexities. On one hand, the swordsmen were the protectors and defenders of our land, people, faith, and leaders; a noble cause. On the other hand, they could also be marauders and thieves following corrupt it

I

warlords.

When

it

reasons

came for

to the

Vietnam War, didn't understand the I

why we were

in this

what we were defending.

political

foreign land or the subtleties of

was, and am, against violence as a the 960s, classmates, kids knew all my life, either got drafted, were enlisting, or were doing everything they could to avoid a trip to the war zone. There was so much conflict about the war at home, in the news and in society. could not comprehend either of my brothers' decisions to volunteer for the war. They were both exempt, which meant they were not required to be there. was afraid for them. War and peace, it

means

to resolve issues.

I

In

1

I

I

I

seemed, was everyone's While

I

internal struggle.

was against the war, did not I

actively protest

in

the streets.

Even protesting seemed confrontational and violent to me. was looking for my own way to find peace. As saw it, the reality of war fanned our fears and drove us to engage in heinous acts justified and encouraged in the heat of battle. On TV we could see it: People fighting in the jungles of Vietnam and people I

I

19

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

the streets around the world.

arguing

in

my dad

sought

his

It

was

separate peace, went I

in

so violent. Just as

search of mine.

the summer of 968 after two years at the University of Hawaii, the islands to travel, and by the fall, was in Berkeley, California, arguably the place to be at the time if you were part of the peace movement. had heard about the happenings there, the summer of love and of flower power. The peace movement seemed alive in the Bay Area, and was drawn to the hippies. They seemed more like me and the places they inhabited were where wanted to be. In

1

I

left

I

I

I

I

One day received a

surprise call from Robert whose oil tanker docked in San Francisco. took a bus to meet him in the city. He wanted to take me to lunch, and being a poor city hippie, was ready to duck into the first diner or restaurant we saw. But Robert, who always liked good food, suggested we keep on walking. He was wearing his Merchant Marine officer's uniform as we headed for Fisherman's Wharf. I

had

just

I

I

way we were approached by three long-haired, bearded hippies. They pushed away from the wall and street lamp they were leaning on to talk to Robert. can still see the

Along the

I

stark

the regimented, well-groomed officer, and the three of them— actually the four of us with long hair, fringe and freedom. The three peaceniks didn't give us a hard time; in fact Robert actually seemed to know them. As we walked on, Robert told me that two of them were classmates from the Academy who dropped out to become hippies and live in San Francisco. It was a very strange time. visual contrast of Robert,

—

ROBERT'S STORY: agree. was a very strange time. Hippies were the new phenomenon. got spit at twice for wearing a military uniform in San Francisco and at other times, long, scraggly-haired men and women would come up to me, offer flowers and say, "Peace, I

It

I

20

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER brother." Whether they spit or offered me flowers, thought they were cowards and losers. thought they were wrong. Our family was in the tradition of the Samurai. had a family tradition to uphold as well as a duty to fight for my country, even though didn't know why we were in Vietnam. had drunk the military Kool-Aid, and was carrying on the family tradition. I

I

I

I

I

I

our family, seven of our uncles went to war. Four fought during in Europe, and served in the most highly decorated combat unit in U.S. military history, the 442 nd Regimental Combat Team. Members of this unit, mostly of Japanese-American heritage, earned over 18,000 individual decorations including 9,486 Purple Hearts, and 5,200 Bronze Stars. They also earned five Presidential Citations in twenty days of Rhineland fighting, the only military unit ever to claim that achievement. In

World War

II

helped stem some of the prejudice caused by the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor. Many of the men in this unit had much to prove about their loyalty as Americans, and that may be one reason why they fought so hard and suffered such heavy casualties. Thankfully, all four of our uncles returned safely.

Their bravery

for America against the Japanese. One was the Philippines and was part of the infamous Bataan Death March. Like many who were part of the onehundred-mile trek, he was severely tortured by his captors and very fortunate to have survived. That uncle spent the rest of his military career, tracking down Japanese war criminals. The book A Spy in

Two uncles fought taken prisoner

in

by Wayne Kiyosaki, our father's youngest this capture and ordeal at the hands of the Japanese. Wayne himself served in the Korean War. Being fluent in a Chinese dialect, he spent his time during that war interpreting the Chinese message traffic which flowed during the conflict.

Their Midst, written

brother, chronicled

flew in Vietnam from January of 972, to January 973. When my Vietnam tour ended, was assigned to the Marine squadron at 1

I

I

21

1

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

Kaneohe

Bay, Hawaii.

from fhe Marine Corps.

In

June

of 1974,

1

was honorably discharged

1975, the U.S. lost the war.

In

the movie, "Saving Private Ryan," director Steven Spielberg portrayed the horrors and the heroics of war. They were nothing like the John Wayne, Hollywood glamorized movies had grown up with. We do not wear white hats in war. Had known the realities, might not have volunteered. would have known that "take no prisoners," a saying we use in business or life all too casually, meant on the battlefield, "shoot all prisoners." Of course that went against all the rules of war as we were taught. But in the war zone, where you are face-to-face with the realities, you do what you must to save the lives of the guys in your squadron and your own. In

I

I

I

I

veteran told me just before left day, when a new guy joined the squad, that soldier had to be ready to shoot a prisoner in the face. It was an unpublicized rule of the battlefield. Thankfully never had to pull the trigger, but was prepared.

A

highly

decorated World War

my tour of

on

duty that

II

I

in his

I

I

the movie "Saving Private Ryan," Tom Hank's character could kill the German prisoner and the German prisoner ends up killing him. This happens in business and in life every day. Beyond the brutal realities of survival, war taught me many things; more In

not

than could have realized at the time. Over the years, I've been able to boil them down to these three important lessons: I

I.

Talk

is

Cheap

While at war, painfully learned that talk Is cheap and that actions speak louder than words. know, those are sayings we have all heard before, but again, those were just words, and learned this I

I

I

through action. Clearly, many young men died because people on our side did not keep their word. These people asked truth

us to fight

a war

we had no

reason to

fight.

Today, while support our troops, feel the same sense of betrayal from our leaders— leaders my age and of my era. Leaders who I

I

22

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER in Vietnam and did not learn the lessons we learned from fighting in the war of our generation. It seems to me that many of those who ordered the invasion of Iraq conveniently missed the Vietnam war. Were they hippies in San Francisco or bureaucrats in Washington? Again, am not against war. There is a time and a place for war. What am against is failing to learn the lessons lessons that others died for decades ago, and are once again being ignored. love the quote by George Bernard Shaw. He wrote: "If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must Man be of learning from experience."

did not fight

I

I

—

I

2.

War

Brings

Peace

Another reason am not against war is because eventually, war leads to peace. England was our enemy on a number of occasions. Today, they are our strongest ally. The same is true for France, Germany, Italy, Mexico, and Japan. The U.S. had its own I

war between the North and South. Today we are all at peace and are all trading partners. War is often a precursor to trade, and trade brings peace. is generally bad for business to shoot your It

customers.

—

However, when wars are not fought to a conclusion a decisive winner there is no peace. Instead, the war goes on for years, as it did between East and West Germany, North and South Korea, and North and South Vietnam. Today, East and West Germany are united, North and South Vietnam are united and becoming prosperous. North Korea remains poor and continues to be an unstable threat. Although costly in so many ways, war, fought to a conclusion, it seems, is a faster way to peace. Unfortunately, the

—

is not a war against nations it is a war of nations, between under banner of religion. It's a thousand year old conflict, a re-run of the medieval crusades, except this time fought with updated weapons, and it will continue.

Iraq

war

tribes

3.

Peace Happens Through

Prosperity

23

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

Even though more people have been killed In the name of God and for national patriotism, most of us know that the real cause of war is money. As most of us know, the real issue underlying the Iraq war is not freedom or democracy, but oil and money. War is very profitable. Many people and companies make fortunes on war. That is why in 1974, left the Marine Corps. There had to be a better road to peace than war. Up until 974, had spent my life studying to be a warrior. The government had spent a lot of money training me to be a warrior and a lot of money to supply 1

1

me with the By 1974,

tools of war.

had had enough of war. It was time for peace and my was this search for peace and for answers to questions that brought my sister and me back together 1

search began. spiritual

again,

1

many

It

years

later.

EMI'S STORY:

may hold an idealist view of life. revered my parents, family and my teachers, expecting people to be noble, to fight the good fight which today now believe the internal struggle against our I

I

is

I

delusions

them as

and

this? I

and become the best we can be. and culture, what better challenge is there lessons are still ahead for me, but those are

around

Whatever our truths

I

precious, to

benefit those

than

expect people to value others and hold respect each others' differences, work to

faults.

us

lifestyle

Many

believe

life

in.

There are wars within the boundaries of countries and wars over boarders. But there are wars every day inside each of us. The internal struggles, the mental acrobatics that prevent us from finding peace and living the good life, however you define it. For me the good life is a simple one with inner peace, and it has been something I've been striving for since my teens.

One not

of the

first

sayings

I

remember

end by hatred; hatred ends by

24

of the

Buddha

love." While

is

this

"Hatred does

may seem

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

the complexities of war, it bears the seed needed foi understanding and peaceful co-existence between warring factions across boarders and between the warring factions within simplistic in

ourselves.

The lessons have learned from war are the I

realities:

1. Because of war, not less than 62 million civilians have perished in the 20th century, and 43 million military personnel have been killed, according to War is a Force that Gives us Meaning, by Chris Hedges. This does not include those crippled and maimed by war, nor does it account for people living with the emotional scars of loss, displacement, sickness, rape, poverty and witnessing

atrocities. 2. There have been only 29 years in all of human history during which a war was not under way somewhere according to educator and writer William James Durant. That is a sad record for mankind when we think of the great things we have accomplished and our potential to achieve even greater benefit for humanity. In the span of human history could we not have resolved conflict with less grotesque means than war? The outlook is not good. Aggression and hatred, old wounds and the deluded thought that one can overpower another by building an arsenal, troops and a

plan, perpetuates the delusion. 3. We do need mighty peace-keepers. The Tibetan people, whom have been studying with since 1972, lost their country to Mao Tse-Tung and Communist China because they did not have a I

and were unprepared

for the onslaught of invasion. the United Nations, wanting instead to be left peacefully alone, and in that decision, they rendered themselves vulnerable. do not condone war.

military force

They chose not to

join

I

wonder

as does the former Tibetan Cabinet Minister Kalon "Was it the Tibetan's insular focus on isolation and practice that caused the loss of their country?" Applied to

I

Chhinjor,

25

Pema spiritual

my

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

then must ask myself, is my own insular focus on and avoiding conflict causing a war within me? It is that question and the inevitable answers that has brought me closer to

own

life,

I

spirituality

Robert's world.

26

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

CHAPTER 3 A TELLING HISTORY

A FAMILY STORY: Young Ralph Kiyosaki, a family man with four small children, was working on his doctorate degree at the University of Hawaii. He was a graduate student and the family breadwinner which meant the family had very little money. On top of that, out of six family members, five ended up in the hospital that year with a variety of maladies, and the bills piled up. Ralph was the only one who didn't get sick; he couldn't afford the luxury. With the medical bills mounting and the little income Ralph earned as a student to cover them, he accepted a job as the field assistant in secondary education on The Big Island of Hawaii. That was 1954, and the Kiyosaki family, Robert and Emi included, packed up and moved from Honolulu to tiny Hilo. In

was appointed deputy superintendant and soon was promoted to superintendent of education for The Big

1959 Ralph

after

Hawaii when his boss, the former superintendant suddenly 1967 the board of education, by unanimous vote, appointed him the superintendant of education for the state of Hawaii. He was the first Asian-American to hold that position and the decision to appoint him was delayed because he had not Island of

died.

In

completed

back

his

doctorate degree.

lack of a degree. to Honolulu.

surpassed

his

His qualities

Once

and experience

again, the family

moved

In 970, the Republican Party asked him to run for lieutenant governor. It was a suicidal step in a traditionally Democratic state, and while Ralph had little chance of winning, he did his best to explain to the kids why he was putting everything on the line, even running against his boss, the Governor. "There comes a time in each of our lives," he said, "when we stand up and do what is right, or we do nothing. just can't keep doing my job and doing 1

I

27

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

nothing." Just before he died, Ralph Kiyosaki received

an

honorary doctorate degree from the University of Hawaii recognizing him for being one of the top educators in Hawaii's history. Although weak from chemotherapy, he insisted on attending the award ceremony and wept as he thanked his fellow teachers for remembering him.

EMI'S STORY:

Robert

left for

Academy in

New York to attend

the

U.S.

Merchant Marine

was growing up and leaving home. After graduation, Robert shook Dad's hand, hugged Mom, and left his youth and his home behind. That night he climbed on his 1965; the family

motorcycle, drove a hundred miles to the town of Kona. In August he left for school in New York and never returned home except for shot visits. The family dynamic was changing, and could feel the I

protective bubble of family, overseen by Dad, disintegrating. In

1

966,

1

move

was my turn to leave My destination was the dormitories at

graduated from high school, and

the sleepy little town of the University of Hawaii

Hilo.

and the

it

big city of Honolulu. Even the

another island was a big change

me. Just the same, keep in touch with many of my friends from Hilo; we didn't have much in common, seemed, after moved away. Life was changing for to

adapted and made new it

me

friends there.

I

for

I

did not

I

too.

was a city full of opportunities, and while in school there, attended theater productions, alternative film series and read books by intriguing authors and playwrights. was as if a whole new world opened up to me within the city. found my passions and my awakenings through my outside interests and my friends, not the structured classroom of the university, and my grades showed it. By the end of my sophomore year was on academic probation. decided needed to take a break from school. Honolulu

It

I

I

I

I

28

I

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

Of course, was embarrassed to I

tell

my

parents about being on

probation; after all, my dad was the State Superintendent of Education and constantly in the news for making positive changes

broke the news to them and in typical fashion, they in education. weren't happy, but allowed me to find my own way. The break gave me the opportunity to get away and do what really wanted to do rather than what was expected of me. The new hippie I

I

counter-culture was calling me, the summer of 1968.

and

so

was San

Francisco.

left in

I

be on the West Coast. The Beatles had and they were popularizing Eastern music in Western culture. New ideas and openness were flourishing. And was looking for the place and people where could study and learn. The drug counter culture was blossoming, but so was an It

was an amazing time

just

to

returned from India,

I

I

emerging culture

of spirituality.

Even though was at the epicenter of free love and marijuana, it would take more than just location to break me out of my shy, island-girl mentality. missed my friends in Honolulu; was homesick and tired of the cold and the drab of the mainland. After a few months in San Francisco, was out of cash and out of passion for being there. This wasn't my place. So moved back to I

I

realized

I

I

I

I

the islands.

When returned to from the university, my freshman year came from a town

Hawaii continued to hang out with

I

I

but didn't I

go back

to school. At

had met a guy from Long

Island,

my

friends

a party during

New

York.

He

not far from the Academy where my brother was in school. He was a good looking Irish-Italian and had gorgeous eyes. He was fun, a great dancer, and we became friends. Over time, he went back to New York and we exchanged letters during our freshman summer.

We

reconnected when moved back I

to Honolulu

spending time together. Our friendship

December

of

1

968,

1

had

to

tell

my

29

became

parents that

I

and we began

romantic. In was pregnant.

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

Dropping

bombshell

this

made

them was on academic

telling

I

probation a year or so earlier seem easy. The tirst words my dad said to me were, "Is he going to marry you?" In my parents' eyes, there was only one choice in the matter. But was already in a dizzying swirl with just the idea that was going to be a mother, not I

I

mention morning sickness and body changes. Slowly informing and families was hard, too. It was a leap to think of marrying the person who knew from school but had been dating only three weeks.

to

friends

I

My own

my own freedom was

choice,

do what was

My daughter

of 1969.

not an option. got married

respectful for the family, so Erika

was born

later that

same

want

I

felt

had

I

to

February year. loved

I

in

I

be married. did what was expected of me, just like did when went to college after high school. Although didn't know what wanted to do exactly, did know marriage wasn't was still searching for my place in life even after having a child and getting married. My husband and both made a go of our situation for two years, but in 1971, Erika's father and divorced. Erika's father,

the problem was,

I

really didn't I

to

I

I

I

I

it.

I

I

I

I

ROBERT'S STORY: high school. Never did drugs. a girl, so never had sex with It wasn't for lack of wanting or because was a perfect kid. Like my sister, was extremely shy. While all my friends were out drinking beer, was home with and Dad. Saturday nights Believe

it

or not,

had a total one either.

of

I

never drank

in

two dates, never

I

kissed

I

I

I

Mom

I

tough during football season. We played night games and I'd get home from away games around :00 pm. Never attending one of my games, Dad wanted me home by 8:00. was clear he didn't approve; he thought sports were a waste of time and he let me know it. Towing the line was part of

were

particularly

1

It

living in

our house.

so

1

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER saint, either. My dad and butted heads often. Me approve of the things liked, like guns and war. And didn't believe as he did, that there was much value in sitting in class day in and day out. By this point, my rich dad's influence had begun, and was learning how to be successful through him. My dad disapproved, and became a real point of contention between us. My two dads were, in fact, nemeses: Dad ran Hawaii Redevelopment after the tidal wave and my rich dad, a real estate developer, owned a housing development my dad condemned. Later, the land was turned into parks and preserves, but cost rich dad a lot of money. was in the middle between

But,

I

wasn't a

didn't

I

or

like

I

I

I

it

it

I

dad's socialistic views and my rich dad's intense capitalism. Today see the merits of both sides, but as a kid, the tension was

my

I

fierce.

I

also tried

my

dad's patience by doing stupid things

like

cutting

the surf was up, the temptation was too much. One day was out there with Mike, my rich dad's son, surfing when we should have been in class. While we hung back waiting for the next wave, Mike looked up and saw a man standing on the bluff watching us. Mike said, "Hey, think that guy up there is your dad." It's hard to miss a six- foot-three man with a bow tie looking classes.

If

I

I

down on

you.

When got home that night, all he said was, "How were the waves?" He expected a straight answer. Although my Dad didn't pressure me about good grades or going to a good college, he was ruthless about telling the truth. still remember the first time he caught me lying to him. was five years old. He didn't spank me or yell at me, but knew by his silence that he did not approve of lying. He often said, "All you have is your word. So keep you I

I

I

I

word."

may have been why in 1970, when he lost the election for lieutenant governor, he was so devastated. He saw the dark side of politics and realized that votes are bought and sold in back room deals to the highest bidder. He realized politics was not

This

31

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

about the good of the people, but the benefit of the few. His illusion of the power of one-man, one-vote was destroyed. He realized democracy was a theory, not a reality. top of that, those who had made promises to him didn't keep them. Dear friends he was counting on betrayed him saying, "Ralph, you and have been friends for years, but have to work lose my job." He realized job against you. If support you, security was more valuable than friendship.

On

I

I

I'll

I

in 970 when he ran for lieutenant governor that the machine he worked within was corrupt, but he never knew how corrupt. he won, he would have had a chance to make some changes. he lost, he said, "At least be able to look myself in the mirror and know that stood up for what believe is

My dad knew

1

political

If

If

I'll

I

I

right."

As expected,

Dad

the election.

lost

The Republican Party had assured him that should he lose, they would find him a high-paying job. After he lost, the promise was never fulfilled and the job never appeared. Once again, people he trusted did not keep their word the most important aspect of human character to my dad. At the age of 51 Ralph Kiyosaki was out of work. Soon after the election, my dad's dad died. Then, my mother died at 49 years of age. The losses had taken their toll on her, too. For my dad, believe her death was his last soul-crushing

—

,

I

blow. felt terrible while all this was going on because by this time, was a Marine and was in flight school in Florida. could not get away. The military was rushing us through our training because they desperately needed helicopter pilots in Vietnam. The ones who were already there were dying so quickly it was all the military could do to keep up. did manage to get five days off for my I

I

I

I

mom's

funeral.

12

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

stopped by to see my dad in Hawaii. was In December of 1971 on my way from Camp Pendleton, California, to Vietnam. This was my second time leaving for the war zone, the first being in 966. was shocked to find him so different than the dad knew growing up. He was still a great man and a great father, but something was gone. I

I

1

I

I

we

said our good-byes could tell he was not pleased or proud was going to war. wasn't just because he was afraid of me dying, was because he didn't agree with what was doing. During World War he was technically a conscientious objector, and although he disapproved of war, he did volunteer to serve in a non-combatant capacity. The army turned him down because he was too tall, underweight and almost blind.

As

that

I

It

I

it

I

II

when

came

he didn't agree with me, and didn't know a few months later, while field in Vietnam, would come to understand his point of view. On that day, while guarding my helicopter, a group of young boys approached to play soccer in the same field where my helicopter was parked. Suddenly, instead of playing ball, the boys started climbing all over the aircraft. panicked because there were so many of them and only one of me.

True,

it

agree with him. But standing on a dusty

to war, little

did

I

I

I

I

were only kids, but understand there had been incidences where seemingly harmless children had left explosive devices on aircrafts. So started yelling, screaming at them to move away. Obviously, not able to speak English, they didn't understand me. Desperate, rushed the aircraft and started physically grabbing the boys and throwing them down to the ground. One young boy decided to fight me. When grabbed him, he kicked and bit me. Instinctively, by training, grabbed him by the throat, pulled out my pistol and put the barrel to his head. For a brief moment, relished the idea of shooting him. The incident in the movie theater as a sixteen-year-old had come full circle. Now had the gun and it was war. As pilots we never see the enemy up close but we experience more than our share of the I

realized they

many

I

I

I

I

I

I

33

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

aftermath of combat. For that split second, thought It might be interesting to pull the trigger. After all, this was what was trained I

I

to do.

men

if you're going to kill someone, never look did not heed that advice. Our eyes met. saw his soul. He started to cry. hesitated, and in In that instant, that moment of hesitation, heard the voice of my mother who had been dead for a number of years by now, pleading with me. "Please don't shoot him." could hear her saying, "I did not give you life to take another mother's child." Once again, she awakened me to my mean streak my dark side and standing there understood the implications. always thought was the

Professional

hit

that person

in

say,

the eye.

I

I

I

I

I

—

I

good It

guy,

me

took

to

—

I

I

onward

Christian soldier, doing

a few moments

my mom.

I

put the

what was I

told to do.

to think things through. Finally

pistol

back

my shoulder

in

holster.

I

I

listened

the

let

boy down; he was still crying. Then started to cry. looked up and saw his friends shaking in terror. To change the situation, picked up the soccer ball, kicked it and began playing with the boys, silently saying to myself, there's got to be another way. That was my last day as a U.S. Marine, and was also the moment when fully understood my mom's, my dad's and my sisters' view I

I

I

it

I

of war.

am convinced those boys were Vietcong sympathizers, and wonder how different my life would be today had fired that gun. know would have been a scar on my soul, and one would defend or deny to myself for the rest of my life. My sister calls this karma, when your past, present and future come together in one instant. In that moment with the help of my mother, made the decision to change my future. I

I

if

I

it

I

I

I

Flying home that night with a one-star general on board, we came under intense enemy fire as soon as we lifted off. believe those young boys had given us away— and yet, even if they were still trying to kill us, was glad had not killed them. I

I

I

M

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

EMI'S STORY:

97 now divorced and a single mom, moved back home with my dad. As Robert stated, these were difficult times for our family. Obviously Dad needed emotional support. Family and friends alike thought was wonderful that was home. "Now you can take care of your father," they would say almost the moment they In

1

,

1

I

it

I

heard was back. Suddenly I'm taking on the additional role of This was on top of my striving to be the best mom to Erika, dealing with my exit from an unfortunate marriage and coping with divorce. I

companion.

my

and found

ourselves living amidst a Grandpa. Dad had the huge task of sorting through all their belongings, and was emotional work. When he took on the bill-paying duties, he was shocked to find that Mom had charged all the credit cards to the maximum and had been making only minimum payments. had my own

Dad,

two-year-old child

houseful of memories of

I

Mom and

it

I

couldn't offer much help to him in that area anyway. would often wish my brothers and sister would step in to help, but they were leading their own lives.

money problems and I

During my short marriage and this period living at home, questioned the purpose of life. What was destined for? In just a few years, had gone from birth, youth, education, marriage, motherhood to divorce. What was left? Old age and death? was in the midst of that too, living in my dad's house. The whole process seemed like a tragic reality with little freedom of choice. Perhaps because marriage and single motherhood came unplanned; felt circumstance had suddenly wrenched away from me my youth and my freedom. I

I

I

I

I

the other hand, had a lot to be grateful for. had my daughter, Erika. She was a beautiful, even-tempered child. remember how inseparable Dad and Erika were. They were an

On

I

I

I

35

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

odd twosome; Dad was so huge and Erika was so tiny. Wherever they walked Dad would offer his pinky finger for her to hold and the range between the two of them, six foot three to two feet, was a sight. She was a courageous "big wheel" tricycle rider. Dad's driveway had a long, asphalt slope shared by four other homes on a cul-de-sac. Erika would rider her tricycle up to the top of the road and come flying down, swooping in a huge sideways slide as the wheels slid on the pavement, coming into Dad's driveway. She at the way the tricycle would spin out and bring her in sideways. She would take that noisy ride again and again, never thrilled

tiring

of

its thrill.

how much

love Dad had for Erika. She and helped him tap into the rewarding joy of being a grandfather. She and were a comfort to him. Leaving was a challenge but knew had to get on with my life and move on even though Dad loved having us there. Everyone loved Erika and immediately took to her. assumed total responsibility for raising her and received little to no financial support from her father in the early years. That challenge gave me incredible strength and direction in my young adult years. It

was wonderful

became a

to see

delight to him

I

I

I

I

wanted our relationship between mother and daughter to be one of love and friendship, not of burden or unhappiness. Motherdaughter relationships are often challenging mine was with my mother— and wanted Erika 's and mine to be different. Mom was so loved by friends and the community, but at home, she let her guard down and let her inner struggles show through. In Sunday school we were taught to "Love thy neighbor as you love thyself." I

—

I

mom loved

Later came to realize that love herself very much. When mean to the kids. When was I

her neighbors, but didn't Mom was often very young her behavior at home made gained more compassion, but nonetheless,

Dad was away

I

me

aged, wanted something vastly different for my own life. wanted to spend my life learning to love myself, my family and my neighbors. seemed a worthy mission. crazy. As

I

I

I

It

S6

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

From the moment walked through the door of my dad's home — knew was entering a nearly impossible situation. old home Assuming the dutiful role of nursemaid, caregiver and daughter made me want to bolt. wanted to get on with my life and, now with my child, be the mother envisioned could be. But living there, under my dad's roof, felt expected to do my duty and Erika brought delight to his eyes. He loved cooking for her and playing the role of grandpa. What wanted for myself and my child I

—

my

I

I

I

I

I

I

I

became

quite impossible to achieve.

Robert knew he was ready the instant he graduated high school and rode off on motorcycle, never to live at home again. For me, home had always been a place to regroup... until now. In July 1971, left my dad's home in Honolulu and moved back to the Big Island. My sister had given me a pup tent for my birthday. Its inaugural use was a camping trip with Erika and friends from the 1

where we had grown up. needed to get out of busy and connect with nature and the open spaces of the Big Island where we grew up. was 23 years old, and needed to grow and explore. The time had come for me to think for myself, seek out new horizons and leave the nest without a safety net. island

I

Honolulu

I

I

37

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

Chapter 4 LIVES IN TRANSITION

EMi'S STORY: 1971 and 1973, Erika and were making our way through together and the decisions made about friends and relationships, even when to stay put and when to move on were made with her in mind. Many of my choices may have appeared foolish to others at the time, but was trying to balance the responsibilities of motherhood and my own search for answers to what this life was all about.

Between

our

I

lives

I

I

very hard to

Erika's father tried

be understanding and

supportive,

my wanderings tried his patience. Few could understand why what little money had spent on attending seminars and talks. At but

I

an event with Werner

I

Erhard Seminars Training,

I

couldn't quite believe

and competent everyone seemed. were always like this or was an act.

friendly lives

which stood for how happy,

Erhard, founder of EST,

I

wondered

if

their

if it

The two-weekend EST seminar actually helped me break out of my shyness and also helped Erika and communicate. But at the same time, as long as would show up on time make no waves and patiently listen to others, could be the model EST student, if not the most colorful one. I

I

I

ROBERT'S STORY: Returning to Hawaii in 1973, was disillusioned about the war, disheartened by my dad and amused by the corruption in Washington. Vice President Agnew was forced to resign from office and was replaced by House Speaker Gerald R. Ford. In 1974, the U.S. House of Representatives initiated impeachment proceedings against President Richard M. Nixon. The Watergate scandal was on the news from morning to night. 1

IN

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

was the year the Marine Corps brought me up on charges get to why in a and threatened me with a court-martial. moment, but by this point, was done being the good boy. had

That

I'll

I

I

worn a

military

Academy and

uniform tor nearly ten years and six years as a Marine

—

— four years at the I

was

tired of following

orders.

It

wasn't that

returned from

I

war

physically

scarred, or depressed. Quite the opposite

emboldened

after flying

year, crashing

was

my

combat

in

for

wounded, emotionally was true. returned I

a year, facing death

helicopter three times

and

surviving.

super-human, overconfident in should say, over confident in what could get invincible,

I

I

combat

I

for

a

believed

my abilities, away with.

I

or

many times,

the rules get thrown out the the heat of battle is your ability to get the job done and live. The problem was carried that cocky, invincible attitude back to Hawaii and the stateside Marine Corps In

there are

window. What counts

in

I

air

base.

When

returned,

I

I

was out

bullet-proof. Like President Nixon,

I

of control

and

in

my mind

thought was above the law. I

The charges faced, to me, didn't seem all that serious. was a party animal with a Marine helicopter just having fun. Instead of the quiet, polite boy that left Hilo in 1965, was a man with my dark side in full view. My crime was that would go into Waikiki, strike up conversations with attractive young women at bars and ask if they wanted to take a helicopter ride to a deserted island. At first they would think was joking. But it wasn't hard to convince them that was dead serious, especially since all the other guys at the time had long hair and had a Marine crew cut. On Friday evenings, would check out a helicopter from the squadron, fly to a beach nearby and load the aircraft up with beer and women. Fifteen minutes away, a short flight across the water to a remote island, my co-pilot and would land on the most beautiful deserted I

I

1

I

I

I

I

I

I

beaches in the world. was heaven on earth; the lifestyle young and delirious! We'd return on Sunday night. It

39

of the

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

One Sunday night, after dropping the girls off, landed back at my squadron. As soon as shut the engine down, three MP squad cars I

I

Opening the door of the helicopter, the first thing that out were beer cans which rolled across the tarmac. The second thing that fell out was me a U.S. Marine who, instead of being dressed in a fireproof flight suit with boots, was wearing swim pulled up.

fell

—

trunks

and rubber

slippers.

was pretty bad, but quickly got worse when the MP's discovered a cooler full of lobsters, a dead deer had shot from the helicopter, and women's underwear in the passenger compartment. For some reason they didn't see the humor in the situation. It

I

was immediately removed from flight status and placed under house arrest, which wasn't so bad, because lived in Waikiki which, let's face it, is pretty much paradise. For five months, the military attorneys prepared their case against me, occasionally calling me and asking questions. The problem was, lied, and had to lie over and over to cover my earlier lies. Pretty soon couldn't keep my I

I

I

I

lies

straight.

EMI'S STORY: In 1973, while Robert was landing on remote beaches and our country was trying to impeach President Nixon, Erika and had moved on and were retreating into the lush landscapes of the Big Island of Hawaii. These were some of the new horizons had been searching for, and there found my kind of people; people living off the land, farming, learning and studying alternative technologies and practicing spiritual disciplines, vegetarianism, fasting, meditation and tai-chi. I

I

I

There

I

gravitated toward friends

volcanoes and Buckminster

made

Fuller.

geodesic

Living in

who lived near the Kilauea dome houses designed by R.

these

domes was

fantastic.

temperate Hawaii, the domes were often constructed

40

In

of clear

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER plastic sheeting stapled onto plywood struts. Imagine living in an almost see-through house in a torest amidst twenty-toot-high ferns. Sometimes the night sky would glow dark red trom volcanic fountains spewing molten lava from earth fissures and recesses from Kilauea a few miles away.

On

sunny days,

skies.

we would open

Four-year-old Erika loved

the roof of the living there.

dome

to the clear

She had a

sliding

board outside that ran from the second floor of the dome to the ground floor. And on damp, cloudy days, a gigantic iron wok gave off

warmth as our fireplace.

we would drive up near the dormant but steaming volcanic craters with pieces of board to sit upon, strip down to our flip flops and climb down into some of the larger vents to take steam baths. Living the alternative life was a dream. found myself tending more and more toward simplicity and a growing

Sometimes,

I

need

for

more

spirituality in

my

life.

Perhaps that's why the prospect of meeting a Zen master held such appeal for my friends and me. Our encounter was planned by Ananda, the Zen master's disciple. We met him at the place he designated, then traveled a few miles over dry, thick grassy roads, not knowing where he was leading us. I'll never forget the sound of the dry grass sweeping underneath the car as we drove. We had never met a Zen master before and one person jokingly declared, "This is your last chance to back out; it's now or never!" Little did we know.

We

two tiki-style buildings with thatched roofs, tree trunk pillars and no walls. The Zen master, we were told, lived in the larger building. Even though we had an appointment, we had to wait hours for him to return from town. When he finally arrived, Ananda spoke with him and returned a few minutes later only to tell us we should come back next week. The Zen master was drunk, he said. Shocked and finally

wood

arrived at a clearing with

floors,

41

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

disappointed

much.

We

felt

we accepted Ananda's request without saying we were being tested and needed to persevere.

Eventually we got to see the teacher, and found he often spoke in parables which were rather baffling. But what was most disconcerting was his habit of stopping mid story to call his cats to come to eat. His voice boomed out into the dry, grassy lands, and as if on cue, from out of the underbrush and the trees, from all directions, dozens of cats came running, leaping, limping into his shack, flooding the entire place; cats of every size, color and condition. They had full run of the place, and it showed. The shelter was dirty, and sitting on the chairs within it was disgusting. Cat hair and worse was everywhere. The whole situation was challenging my sensibilities.

we met the Zen master at a park in the mountains to teachings. We started a fire in the shelter hearth to warm us from the chilling rain. The Zen master spoke of his strict training in a monastery in Japan and of the difficult final test Another time discuss

his

retreat. Only the chosen few, he told us, who strove for years would even come close to qualifying. He said every morning they had to break thick ice formed in the water barrels with their bare hands so they could bathe and wash in freezing conditions before

meditation for hours every day. Just as we became engrossed in his story, the master pulled out a thick, bloody, dripping two-inch steak from mounds of butcher paper and threw right onto the open coals of our fire. That was about it for a couple of the staunch vegetarians. They couldn't listen to this teacher any longer. sitting in

it

During this time, went through numerous adventures, studies and explorations, to seek out authentic spiritual traditions and teachers. All the while devoured books explaining spiritual paths, the lives of I

I

fantastic yogis

and

sought to find a

develop a

life

and communes. also community where could meditate and

practitioners, teachers

spiritual

I

I

inclined to spiritual practice.

42

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

had left my dad's house in search of my new home — Erika's and my new home. Even though that first Zen master turned out to be I

what was looking for, at least was doing what do and learning what could along the way. was

not exactly

wanted

to

I

I

I

It

I

worth sticking

it

out.

visit to Honolulu to see my dad, met Ward, a man who returned home to visit his family after four years in India, Nepal and Sikkim. His parents had given him a trip around the world as a high school graduation present, and he ended up living

During a

had

in

I

just

India.

was fascinated by stories of his teacher, the Sixteenth Gyalwa Karmapa, and by his studies with the Tibetan masters who were

I

in exile in the Indian Himalayas after escaping from the Chinese Communist takeover in Tibet. wanted to learn everything could about their teachings and set out to pursue my interests. felt his experiences, unlike mine to this point, were with authentic teachers. At last, through him felt the right path was being revealed to me.

establishing their lives

I

I

I

I

ROBERT'S STORY:

Now stateside and

very disappointed

in

the quality of our

government leaders, was behaving no better than they were. Everything had learned in Sunday school had gone by the wayside starting with "thou shalt not kill." had faced death in Vietnam, repeatedly, and came out alive. After making through that, what kinds of other consequences could possibly scare me? My war experience helped me develop a knack for using my dark I

I

I

it

—along with the license to use —

it in the name of bravery and dark side was of value; it kept me alive. But no longer in battle, those same tendencies had no place. Turning them off was impossible; continued to use my dark side at will for my own gain, rather than harnessing it, and reordering it for stateside duty in Waikiki.

side

patriotism.

My

I

43

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

The Marines taught me how to willingly give my life for a higher purpose and have no fear. They gave me strength of character. But what was considered bravery in Vietnam was now deemed recklessness back at home. My character had become my character flaw. My personal checks and balances were gone,

and

I

lived

my

life

with

complete disregard

for others

and

the law.

make

the connection at the time, but today see leaders from Richard Nixon to Bill Clinton to Elliot Spitzer fall by the same sword of perceived invincibility. They, like me, gave their life to a higher purpose, and their world changed. They like me, had developed strong character traits, but character traits also come with character flaws. It's the flip side of the same coin and they allowed their dark side to surface because they could. In fact, that's what Bill Clinton's response was to a reporter who asked why he had relations with Monika Lewinsky. He humbly said, "Because could." He went on to say, that is no excuse. I

didn't quite

many

I

political

I

I

was

living

the reckless

They say character

is

life

I

was

living

because thought could.

destiny, but so are our

41

I

character

I

fiaws.

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

CHAPTER

5 THE

EARLY PATHS

ROBERT'S STORY:

my sister was

While

looking for spirituality

in

the wilds of The Big

was looking for sex in the wilds of Waikiki. Now that my helicopter was taken away, keeping up with the island-hopping Island,

party

wasn't as easy.

life

was

I

I

my

living in

first

investment, a

condominium

that

I

had

purchased. was also looking at property to acquire for rental income. My first step to becoming a real estate tycoon my first property in the game of Monopoly. At the same time, the Marine Corps was trying to put me in jail, and kept lying my way out of it, or so thought. My dark side would surface and would go against everything my father and Sunday school had tried to teach me. I

—

I

I

I

In early 1974, met a beautiful young woman in a bar. Her name was Jennifer, and she was kind of a fringe hippie. didn't know was was my short Marine Corps haircut that turned her off, or just me in general, but every time asked her out she found an excuse to say no. Finally, my persistence paid off and she said yes, on one condition: had to go to some free seminar with her as a guest. Desperate for any time with her, agreed. 1

if it

I

if it

I

I

I

The free seminar was an EST Seminar, like my sister had attended years earlier. The event was held in a lavish ballroom at a big hotel in Waikiki, and the room was filled with about five hundred people. had never heard of EST, but was impressed with the number of beautiful young women just like Jennifer at the event. Having so many attractive women in one place smiling at me was something had never experienced before. had been locked away at an all male military school and in the military since high school. thought had found heaven in Waikiki. I

I

I

I

I

I

45

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

my seat next to Jennifer, the lights dimmed and young woman, dressed in a spectacular white dress stepped onto the stage. She said a few words, and then introduced Werner Erhard. The people in the room sprang from their chairs and erupted with applause. Werner was also dressed in white. He was in fantastic physical condition with sharp, handsome features, and was extremely confident. He was a great speaker but the more he talked the less understood. All heard was something about having my life work better. Soon this

after

took

I

stunning

I

I

didn't take long before was bored stiff and ready to leave. had no intention of enrolling in this training, especially since cost $200 and took up two full weekends. Turning to Jennifer during the break, asked she wanted to go get a drink. Shaking her head at my denseness she asked, "Well, are you ready to enroll in the It

I

I

it

if

I

EST training?"

"No,"

I

said.

on, let's

go

don't

"I

need this stuff. This crap and get a drink."

is

for losers.

Come

to the bar

Jennifer just shook her

head

silently

from side to side, giving

me a

look of disgust.

"What?" asked. "You I

think

Smirking, Jennifer said, "Of

I

all

need

this

junk?"

the people

in this

room, you need

the EST training the most."

"Me?" asked I

indignantly, feeling like

across the face.

"Why do you "I

think

don't know,"

I

I

had been

verbally slapped

"Why me?" I

don't

go out

with you?" asked Jennifer.

replied toughly. "Tell me."

With that response, guess had asked for the pounding she delivered next. "The reason don't go out with you," she said, I

I

I

46

"is

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

because you're so needy. You lack confidence around women. You're embarrassed and terrified of being rejected. On top of that, you're so horny you're desperate. can tell there is only onething you want. Why would want to go to bed with such a needy I

I

man?" "What?" yelped I

like

a kicked dog.

"On top of that," Jennifer continued on, "you pretend to be so macho, but can see right through you. All you are is one big I

tough Marine like

"OK,"

I

said,

You drive around good."

pilot act.

'high school Harry'

in

your Corvette looking

made

now feeling

hurt.

"If

that

is

what you

think,

then

I'll

leave."

"Look" she said. "Listen to me.

You have good

qualities. But

I

don't

like telling

you

this.

I

you.

like

you asked."

The break area of the room was filled with people talking. Some were signing up for the training, and others were nervously hiding by the water table. The good thing was that the din of the crowd

was loud enough

that

no one heard

Jennifer's

comments. And

if

they heard, they did not care.

Touching invited

my Still

my shoulder she

you

entire

hurt,

smiled

to this guest event.

life

changed

she led

me

for

I

and

said gently, "That's

why

I

took the training myself and found

the better."

over to the registration table.

slowly

I

reached

the blanks. was still on the edge of bolting. really did not know if should run or stay. had no idea what was getting into. Eventually, put down a $35 deposit to hold my space in the training, and left the ballroom for the bar in the hotel. Jennifer stayed to listen to the second half. for

a pen and began to I

fill

in

I

I

I

I

I

I

47

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

In

March

later,

On

of 1974,

my

1

walked

into the EST Training

and two weeks

had changed... as promised.

life

Monday following

the completion of the two-weekend EST called the Marine prosecutor and told him was coming in and wanted to tell him the truth. After a three-and-a-half hour deposition, answering every question and completely incriminating the

training,

myself,

I

I

looked up at him and

I

Slowly shaking

his

said,

head, he quietly

"I

guess

I'll

be going

Thank you

said, "No.

in

jail."

for telling

be honorably discharged in June." He kept June of 1974; drove off the base a free man.

the truth. You'll promise,

to

his

I

EMI'S STORY:

Around the same time as Robert's EST adventures, left the dome life and moved to Wood Valley Temple in Pahala, a small town also on The Big Island of Hawaii about fifty miles from Hilo. My I

I

parents had first met there after World War Dad was working as a teacher's supervisor and Mom as a nurse. remember Mom and Dad taking me to the temple as a little girl and feeling scared because it was overgrown and had a reputation of being II.

I

haunted. later, found myself living in this same spooky temple. No sooner had moved in, than my friends left and found myself alone in the eerie, isolated forest for two weeks. The place had no electricity, just dim kerosene lamps that barely penetrated the darkness. It got worse. The water, which was often polluted, made me sick and had no where else to turn. My experience at the temple and my isolation happened during the energy crisis of the mid-seventies and gas rationing. Leaving the temple which was situated five miles through the cane fields from town wasn't an option because we had to minimize fuel consumption on the temple truck. We did have designated fuel days and on those rare occasions, I'd leave at 4:00 am and spend most of my time in a gas line. was these times of crisis for the environment and the

Years

I

I

I

I

It

4S

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

economy

that reinforced

my

a simple

desire for

lifestyle in

harmony

with nature.

Once

the others returned to the temple and settled into the got better. We had a regular schedule of repairing, I

routine, things

and

attended classes held twice attendance, and it was clearly one of the best times in my life. The classes seemed to deliver everything was searching for. The Tibetan Buddhist teachings were so rational and the views of karma, consciousness, preparing

painting the temple.

a day. There were only a few of us

I

in

I

rebirth

and

the nature of things suited

me

perfectly. Being isolated

a remote valley away from the city, felt unencumbered, focused, and able to sustain a simple lifestyle without big-city distractions. We were all in synch with the earth, rising with the sun and going to sleep when darkness set in. It felt a bit like coming home. Being raised in a Japanese culture, was exposed to Buddhism as a young child. The life of the Buddha was something familiar to me for that reason and because, coincidentally, my brother, Robert, was born on Buddha's birthday. in

I

I

remember going to a Japanese Buddhist service and asking my dad what the minister was chanting. He said wasn't Japanese, so he had no idea. later learned was recitation in Sanskrit, common in Mahayana Buddhist traditions. Now in Wood Valley, was here were the teachings translated, tangible and clear. extraordinary. was finding my home and my path. I

it

it

I

It

I

ROBERT'S STORY:

Freedom for me was more than avoiding a court martial. And my "changed life" went well beyond the couple weekends spent in the EST seminar. realized had the power to create the best destiny for my life or the worst. was my choice. had to stop thinking was on the "right" side of things all the time. had to embrace my dark side and bring into the light. The enemy was I

I

I

It

I

I

I

it

inside of

me, not out there.

In

developing

49

my

strength of

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

character,

I

had come

to realize that

I

had

also

honed my

character tlaws. At this point, decided that my lifetime work would be to work on myself and develop a higher ethical, legal and moral character. Those same words "Commandments" muttered by Sunday school teachers and Church Lady friends of my mother were coming back to me in a language that was understandable and my own. I

I

knew

it

would be a

life-long mission;

I

had a

lot

of

work to do on

myself.

EMI'S STORY:

a year at the temple in Wood Valley we heard Karmapa, Head of the Kagyupa Lineage of Tibetan Buddhism was making a historic first trip to the United States. Most of us traveled to San Francisco to see him. After being In

1

974, after living

that the Sixteenth

in

the isolated valley

in

Hawaii with our

friends,

attending the Black

Crown ceremony with thousands of people was overwhelming. The event, itself, was regal, beautiful, and somewhat other-worldly. The historical Black Crown was an ancient offering by celestial female beings to the Karmapa. During the ceremony, the hat is held up and it's said that those persons who have a karmic connection with the Karmapa, will be able to see the celestial female beings making this offering. In my innocence, hoped that a full year of sincere study and helping repair a temple would merit I

me

such a

sight,

but

it

didn't.

We

followed the Karmapa travelling north by car as far as Vancouver, Canada, attending the events all along the way. It was there that first took my Refuge Vows with the Karmapa to become a Buddhist, along with the five lay vows where promised to not kill, steal, lie, commit sexual misconduct or take intoxicants. I

I

These Buddhist vows

and wanted to keep were so many people there taking the Refuge Vows that we had to go in about seventy-five people at a time. asked my friends to watch Erika while went in

them with

I

took very seriously,

I

heartfelt conviction. There

I

I

50

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

with

my group, and when came I

out

I

couldn't find her for a few

was frantic, but then a group emerged from their Refuge Ceremony and out walked four-year-old Erika, fresh from taking the vows with the group! We had both taken our vows on the same day. minutes. Of course

I

From Canada, Erika and left our group of friends. had made arrangements to go to Boulder, Colorado to study with Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche. had met him briefly in San Francisco, and he suggested move to Marpa House on the hill in Boulder, near the University of Colorado. We settled in and immediately signed up for a private interview with Trungpa Rinpoche to seek guidance, to I

I

I

I

I

my direction and practice and help me with my decisions the future. attended talks at Karma Dzong, the Buddhist center in town, and participated in the activities and daily meditation at Marpa House.

discuss for

I

Trying to

and

make a

life

college town, had

enrolled Erika in a pre-school near-by That proved extremely difficult. Boulder, a

there,

tried to find work.

ample

I

and had few skills to offer. Plus, no car and owning no cold-

talent

I

juggling the care of Erika, having

weather clothes kept

me

on a

short leash from the house.

The community itself was very confusing for me, too. Here was, a new Buddhist having just taken my Refuge Vows, and was in the I

I

midst of a party atmosphere with drinking responsibilities to Erika

wasn't the

On

kept

me out

experience

spiritual

the other hand,

in

I

and

carousing.

of trouble as did

my

My

vows, but

it

had imagined.

the Tibetan Buddhist tradition, studying with

a qualified teacher is important, so was happy to attend talks by Trungpa Rinpoche and Tibetan language classes with a Tibetan man who lived at Marpa House. These were real teachers at last! I

After four months, was finally granted a ten-minute interview with Trungpa Rinpoche, so Erika and trudged off in the snow for the meeting. shared with him my indecision: should continue I

I

I

I

51

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

studying

in

Boulder, join friends to study

make some money

India, or travel to

in

Alaska

He suggested go on a ten-day solitary retreat and do a shamatha meditation; sitting and focusing on my breath. My decision would to

during the Alyeska Pipeline rush.

I

come

to

me.

made arrangements to go to what was then called the Rocky Mountain Dharma Center, now Shambhala Mountain Center, and left Erika in the care of a friend at Marpa House. This was January 1975, and there was snow everywhere. Money was scarce, so bought some brown rice and carrots and a snack or two, borrowed a friend's car, and wended my way up into the retreat site. The two caretakers were the only other people there, and they escorted me up to one of the solitary cabins on the other side of Marpa Point, the highest point on the property. I

I

The isolated cabin was a very small single room with a wood stove in the middle which filled most of the space. The bed was a raised plank in one corner with windows on both sides, overlooking the valley below. It was breathtaking, vast and quiet. The caretakers checked in on me once, but that was it. saw no one for ten days. I

Here was the opportunity to confront my own mind, stripped of all activities. Of course, being the good follower of directions and an excellent hider, keeping my commitment to sit eight hours a day, read only one book and stay in retreat was not hard for me. While could sit for those hours, my untrained and unpracticed mind was all over the place. The decisions had before me were huge because they would affect my future and Erika's as well.

other

I

I

The book read was Gampopa's "Jewel Ornament of Liberation" which explains the stages of the path for a Buddhist practitioner. It helped me analyze the stages of my own path while holding in mind my principles, my promise to care for Erika, and my wish for enlightenment by studying with teachers who were further along I

the path.

52

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

Within the confines ot future,

I

realized

I

had

my small room and to jump.

I

within the vastness of

was going

my

keep my word to mind helped me see

to

and those around me. This clarity of that was becoming in Boulder struggling for meager jobs while raising Erika in Marpa House. Weighing all my options, chose to go on to Alaska and strike rich. The money I'd earn, myself

how

difficult

I

it

would allow

me

travel later in the

year with friends to study

53

in India.

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO

Chapter 6

BE

WHEN YOU GROW UP?

ROBERT'S STORY: ever imagined would grow up In high school, the last things be were an author and an educator. didn't like school and flunked out of high school twice because could not write. I

to

I

I

I

I

1974, when drove off the Marine Corps Air Station at Kaneohe Bay was a free man in more ways than one. was free not just because had avoided jail time. At age 27, was more grown up, In

I

I

I

I

1

and was less naive, idealistic, and blindly patriotic. was not the same 18-year old kid was when left Hawaii for military school in I

I

I

New In

1

York,

974,

1

I

1965.

in

remember taking my

last salute.

Returning the salute to

young marine guard, reflected on how much of my life had been put into the receiving and the returning of that salute. Watching the Marine base grow smaller in my rear view mirror, a sense of loss over came me as headed over the mountain range to enter a new world in Honolulu. That new world was the world of the

I

I

business. it all was that was a far better Marine that day leaving the military base than had been when was on active duty in the corps. As drove away, had a deeper appreciation

The irony of

I

I

I

I

I

the Marine Corps and the Marine Code of Honor. better understood the words honor, duty, courage and valor. better appreciated the words "The truth shall set you free" and why lying was for cowards. finally recognized that truth took courage. It for

I

I

I

became

very clear why so many people were not free, though they lived in the "land of the free." And why so

people lacked courage, even though they

lived in the

even

many "home

of

the brave."

much as missed the military, realized that leaving gave me the opportunity to redesign my life. was older and far more

As

I

I

I

>4

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

was now in a position to make wiser choices about remembered grown ups always asking me when was a kid, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Now at the age of 27, felt had a chance to again ask myself that question. experienced.

my future.

I

I

I

I

1

Older now,

could respond with different answers. Older, felt myself a little better. As entered the tunnel that goes through the mountains, separating the military base from Honolulu, my mind drifted back to when was just ten years old, the age that I

felt

I

I

I

knew

I

I

decided wanted to go to sea to be a ship's officer. also thought about when, as a 21 -year-old, decided to go to flight school to become a Marine pilot. At the age of 27, did not want to be ship's officer, and did not want to be a pilot any longer. At the age of 27, sailing ships and flying planes were the dreams of a boy. Seeing the city of Honolulu unfolding before me, as exited the tunnel, was grateful to have this opportunity to once again choose my future and decide what wanted to be when grew I

I

I

I

1

I

I

I

I

I

up.

As soon as got home to my condominium in Waikiki, took off my military uniform and put on civilian clothes. realized that had been wearing a military uniform for over nine years. took it and the other uniforms in my closet and packed them away, never to be worn again. had invested so much of my life into what the uniform stood for. So much of my life and who had become was represented by those uniforms. I

I

I

I

I

I

I

About a week

later,

about

new

to

I

drove to the Xerox Corporation's office

a blue business

Honolulu, wearing

see the world and

uniform

— a business

suit,

white

shirt,

and

tie.

I

in

was

become a new

suit.

It's

person from behind a the uniform still wear today. I

know what my sister was going each other since she was seeking peace and was fighting a war. From 974 to 985, her life was still a mystery to me. had heard she was living in a mountain commune with her daughter, on The Big Island. My dad often complained to me about her lifestyle. He felt a need to protect his granddaughter. didn't pay much attention to his grumbling; From 965 1

through.

to

We

1

974,

1

didn't really

rarely talked to

1

I

1

I

I

I

55

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

was going through my own changes. My sister's world and my dad's world were not the same worlds was living in. I

The years between 1974 and 1985 brought 1

many changes:

relation to women: From 965 to 974 there were not many women in my life. Being in the military offered few opportunities because the men greatly outnumbered the women. At least that was my excuse. Most women in my In

life

1

then were war

girls

relationships. By 1974,

1

and prostitutes and enjoyed these was ready to make up for lost time. I

1

met many wonderful women at work, in church, in bars, and at seminars. Entering the world of business in 1974, thought had died and gone to heaven when came to women. In relation to education: My poor dad suggested go back to school and get my masters or law degree. went to the Law School at the University of Hawaii and soon realized did not have the aptitude or the desire to I

it

I

2.

I

I

I

become a

lawyer.

I

applied

the University

for

MBA

program and was informed needed additional business courses before would be accepted into the program. Taking those additional undergraduate courses lasted about two months, and soon realized did not want to I

I

I

I

remain in traditional education. After attending the EST seminar,

I

found was more I

personal development seminars than was in traditional education. liked attending classes to expand interested

in

I

I

my mind and spirit rather than compete for grades with my fellow classmates. spent most weekends attending I

on a variety of subjects. went to seminars on whole brain learning, tantric sex, rebirthing, neurolinguistic programming (NLP) and past life regressions. even attended a class on communicating with the dead. No one returned my call, not even my

different seminars

I

I

mom.

In

many

of these classes

had a being an employee

that our souls

life's

or

a

I

came

across the notion

purpose— a purpose higher than soldier for the

56

government. The

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

idea of possibly having a higher purpose

for

my

life

me.

intrigued

Financially,

I

attended investment classes and business skills grades but to become a better investor

classes, not for the

and entrepreneur. In I

relation to lifestyle:

knew wanted a I

I

knew

in

my soul wanted I

to

the middle class

rich lifestyle, not

be

rich.

life

of

wasn't sure exactly how was going to go about becoming rich, but just knew in my soul wanted to get there. Spiritually, did not want to worship or be a slave to money. That point was crystal clear because my parents had friends who saved, saved, and saved. They had tons of money, yet they lived frugally, living below their means, claiming that money was the root of all evil. To me, this attitude was making money the God they worshiped or feared. simply wanted to be rich, which meant being

my

parents.

I

I

I

I

I

I

rich mentally, physically, emotionally,

wanted

and

spiritually.

I

develop a Midas touch, so that everything would touch would turn to riches. was willing to study, work hard, and develop my spirit so one day could truly be a rich person, rather than a middle class person with a lot of money. to

I

I

I

In

relation to vision:

Observing

my dad

later in his

life

gave

me

a vision of the future. There he was, a highly educated, hard working, socially responsible man struggling

in his final

years working at

odd jobs,

with very

name. He was completely dependent upon the government for financial and medical support. Sadly, in him saw the future for my little in

savings

left

or investments to his

I

entire generation. ..the

baby-boom

generation.

Little did know that observing my dad's struggle would one day be the catalyst for my life's work. Today wonder I

I

dad's struggle led me closer to my life's purpose; if it was the reason for writing Rich Dad Poor Dad, for creating if

my

57

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

the CASHFLOW® board game, and for my efforts to provide financial education throughout the world. Could my vision of the future lead me to my future mission? In

relation to lust versus love:

Over the years had met I

many wonderful women because of lust, and fell in love with some of them. Between 1974 and 1985, learned the hard way that was not ready or mature enough for love. Relationships had never seemed to work out. met great women, but was not yet a man worthy of a great woman. Now married to Kim, am grateful that know the difference between lust and love. would not have a I

1

I

I

I

I

I

I

I

strong marriage today

if

I

hadn't learned

this

important

distinction.

relation to money: In some of the churches attended, knew people who prayed to God to solve their financial problems. Many seemed to think that God should provide; just as many people think the government should In

I

I

provide.

some of the self-development seminars attended, many people believed that positive thinking, or writing

In

I

your goal on a piece of paper and looking at all it would take to become rich.

it

daily

was

don't believe in wishing for money. From my rich dad believed that financial education, experience, skills, work, and dedication were required to solve money problems and get rich. It seemed that many people, regardless of whether they went to church or not, believed "God will provide" and conveniently seemed to forget the second half of the message which is "Give and you shall receive." I

I

one church heard the preacher say, "It is important to have faith that God will provide, but you must still do some work. Faith without work is dead." In

I

Many churches stress the importance of tithing, which means giving back to God. Once again, seems many it

58

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

people want money, but when it comes to giving money, they'd rather be only on the receiving end.

My rich dad often said, "Give what you want. you want a smile, smile. you want a punch in the mouth, throw a punch. you want money, give money." He also said, "Poor people are often poor because they do not give enough. They often say, "I'll give money when have money." That is why they don't have much money. you want money, give money. If you want more, give more." If

If

If

I

If

7.

In

relation to finding your

In

some

life's

purpose and giving your

and some

of the churches

of the seminars

gift:

I

attended during the years, learned that God or a higher power has given each of us a gift. Our job as human beings was to discover and give our gift to humanity. Even though did not know had a gift at the time, kept an open mind to the possibility that had something to give and focused on giving rather than praying that God would provide or a Post-it note with affirmations on my bathroom mirror would manifest my dream. Today, realize that many people do not give their gift for two reasons: First they do not recognize it and two, they do recognize their gift they do not work at giving it. Many people seem to think that a gift should come easy. For example, Tiger Woods is a gifted golfer. Although gifted, he works very hard at developing and giving his gift to the I

if

I

I

I

I

I

if

world.

Many

golfers

work as hard as

may be just

Tiger

as gifted, but they

fail

does at developing and giving

to

their

gift.

8.

character and character flaws: In churches also learned about how personal character is essential to giving your gift. Since your gift is a gift from God or a higher power, it is essential to deliver it with the In

relation to

and seminars

I

highest degree of personal integrity and character. Over the years, have personally experienced my gift being I

diminishing

when allowed my character flaws I

overpower my character. 59

I

found that

if

I

to

wanted

to

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

improve the returns on my life, needed to improve my personal character by not letting my character flaws cancel out my character strengths. As said earlier, character strength and character flaws come on the I

I

same In

coin.

one seminar, had the

blinking cognition that

I

many

people fail to fully develop their character strengths because they are aware of the power of their character flaws, their

dark side.

In

that seminar the leader

skillfully

demonstrated that our flaws reveal themselves under times of pressure or strength. For example under stress a person who does their best to be honest suddenly becomes a thief or an outwardly sweet person reveals the vicious character hiding behind the fagade. During that seminar, realized that was to develop my full potential, if

I

I

had to find away to allow my dark side into the light. Today believe am a more forthright person because am more comfortable with the shy, good boy of my youth and the cold, blunt Marine from my young adulthood I

I

I

I

using both characters interchangeably. 9.

In

relation to

purpose and life's mission. During this churches and seminars, learned that our

life's

period, again

in

I

purpose or mission is to take the gift we have been given, develop it, and give it. My reason for working at the Xerox Corporation was to life's

overcome my shyness and learn the business

an

skills

fear of rejection as well as to

of selling. Rich

dad

said that selling

an entrepreneur. After four years at Xerox, eventually achieved my goal and became one of the top sales persons with an income to match. The problem was found hard to stay motivated. After so many different seminars, knew my life's mission was not to get promoted, make more money and climb the corporate ladder. Selling the latest model Xerox copier that came out each year didn't excite me, even did is

essential

skill

of

I

I

it

I

if

60

I

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

make a

lot

of

money doing

it.

Also,

even though was I

could not get fired up about beating IBM, our main competitor at that time. discovered that a job, profession, and career, is very different than life's purpose, a calling, and life's mission. My spirit was getting stronger, bolder and wanted the latter, not the corporate ladder. naturally competitive,

I

I

I

10. In relation to

and

dedication, determination,

discipline:

From my rich dad learned that there are four types of people in the world of business. They are defined by the I

CASHFLOW QUADRANT

illustrated

below.

(illustration)

E stands for S

stands

for

Employee Self-employed, Small business owner, or Specialist

B stands for Big business I

owners

stands for Investor

Our school system does a respectable job training people to be E's or S's. The problem is the richest people on earth are B's and I's. From my rich dad, personal development seminars and from church learned that being successful in any of the four quadrants required sacrifice. I

In 1974, decided not to follow in my poor dad's footsteps, which was to become an E with a safe government job, or listen to my mom who wanted me to become a medical doctor, at best an S. In 1974, decided to become a B and an big business owner and investor when grew up. 1

1

I,

I

61

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

church, noticed that the number "torty" showed up a lot the Bible. Many Bible stories involved this number, for example tor Noah, it rained for 40 days and 40 nights. For Moses, he wandered in search of the Promised Land for 40 realized that to become a successful B and an years. In

I

in

I,

I

I

might need to sacrifice, dedicate, discipline myself, and live with determination for 40 years. For my sister, her test of fait was in Buddhism. My test of faith was in capitalism. For the second time in my life wanted to find out if had the right stuff. The year 201 4 will mark 40 years of wandering in the B and quadrants and finding my way to my own promised I

I

I

land.

In

201

4,

I'll

find out

my

if

test of faith

was

strong enough.

EMI'S STORY:

anyone ever told me in high school that would be a nun when grew up would have crumbled. Becoming a monastic was never a thought that entered my mind. When was in college, chose psychology and teaching as my course of study, but was a wanderer; searching was a part of my life. My brother, on the other hand, was far more focused. If

I

I

I

I

I

I

Whenever thought about my I

future,

I

was always attracted

was

easier for

to

my dad discouraged me, and at the time, me to just let go than to defend my position. He

social sciences, but

it

it

suggested go

into more exacting sciences rather than the "pseudo-sciences," which was what he used to call psychology. Robert was the opposite. When Dad questioned him, asking; "Why do you want to be a Marine?" Robert just went ahead and did it. He didn't concern himself with approvals or permissions. I

We

were both rebelling in our own way. But Robert just went on did what he wanted while quietly searched exploring new lifestyles and paths and learning about life. That was a big

and

I

difference

Once

Erika

between us. That is until 1968, the year got pregnant. was born and began raising her, had so many things I

I

I

62

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

to figure out like

how to

take care ot

ourselves while trying to figure out

my daughter and

support

life.

About the time Erika and moved to the mountains of Hawaii, went on welfare, which would have violated every bone in rankles me now to recollect it. My he knew. Robert's body, dad always thought the government should take care of us, although welfare wasn't what he had in mind. At the time he knew was getting assistance, but we never talked about it. He'd say, "Why don't you get a good government job with a good pension?" He'd tell Robert, "Stay in the Marine Corps and get a good retirement." Those were acceptable ways for the government to take care of us; welfare was not. I

if

I

It

I

The way justified being on welfare was by telling myself was doing "good work" for others. was studying spirituality; was helping others with the money that received from the government; we were making dome homes, wooden hot tubs and working with whoever wanted to join us. A lot of unusual people passed our way. I

I

I

I

I

was in a community searching heaven on earth with a group I

—

much was

in

common,

that

together,

of

my own

perfect utopia

recipients.

We justified

our behavior into the

can see how bought government welfare assistance because

and

looking back,

—my

minded people. We had one of those commonalities

like

but unfortunately,

we were welfare

pattern of

for

I

I

it

was

so

accepted by the people around me.

My

about being on welfare began to change when ran a sorority sister of mine. She told me that since the government gives money to single moms with kids, her plan was to just keep having kids. That disturbed me. Deep down knew this feelings

I

into

I

wasn't

right.

Another wake up call happened several months later, when went to apply for food stamps in Honolulu at the government office. was a crowded hall, and as fate would have it, my caseworker was another sorority sister. was her job to validate my need for I

It

It

63

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

food stamps. was so embarrassed. She way, "We all go through changes in life." I

said, in It

a matter

of fact

was a loaded

statement. At the time, it just was one more signal for me to make a change, take control and get out of the welfare mentality.

When

welfare and resolved never to get was hard because my studies were important to me, so most of the money earned was going to sitters and seminars. Paying for spiritual and personal development seminars was a struggle financially, but they were something knew had to do. discovered that to be congruent with my spiritual path, had to be ethical and get off welfare for myself and my child. Welfare was killing my spirit. Erika

was

four,

I

got

into that situation again.

off

It

I

I

I

I

—

I

ROBERT'S STORY: By 1981, despite all my wisdom and good intentions, found myself broke and divorced. had built and lost my first business and had married and split from my first wife. had tasted success, having built the first company to invent and bring to market nylon and Velcro® surfer wallets. For about a year was a millionaire. had I

I

I

I

I

I

and married a great woman. But let wealth, success, lust and love go to my head. got cocky and arrogant, bought fast cars and started cheating on my wife. My character strengths had turned back into character flaws and self destructed. Instead of keeping my word to work on myself, my fallen in love

I

I

I

"self"

took over.

had repeated the same pattern that had gotten me in trouble in the Marine Corps. It became obvious to me that needed to do some deeper soul searching if wanted to gain the strength I

I

I

I

needed to go forward in my life. We have all seen people fall from grace due to flaws in character, and had fallen hard... for the I

second

time.

Sadly enough.

knew

power

words and the importance of over and over in the many seminars attended during the years as well as in Sunday school as keeping

I

the

my word; had heard I

of

this

I

(.4

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

a

kid.

"And the word became

really related to

But

now,

my

my vulnerable

in

flesh,"

was the

line,

but

it

never

at the time.

life

state,

suddenly the realization of the

meaning of those words blasted through my head like an electric shock. Could be that something as simple as words could pack be that something as simple as words so much power? Could could determine the quality our lives? Could be that our lives are be that simple? simply a reflection of our words? Could it

it

it

it

state, began to wonder if the difference between a person and poor person was simply their words. Could the difference between a happy person and a depressed person simply be the words they chanted to themselves? Is the difference between a crook and an honest person a choice of words? Is the In

a stunned

I

rich

difference

between a

and a

millionaire

The more thought about

words?

billionaire their

realized in more practical matters, between a dentist and a lawyer, both smart people is the words they used in their professions. The more thought about the more realized how powerful words are and that we do become our words. I

it

I

that the difference

I

it,

I

from the realization about the possible power of words about a minute. After a minute, was back to normal thinking. The impact of the flash subsided, but never forgot the message. In simple terms, seems that our brain is like an engine in a car and words are the fuel. we put bad fuel in the engine, the engine performs badly. Could it be the same with our minds' relationship to words?

The

flash

lasted

I

I

it

If

I

realized that

become

flesh.

my word, I

a

loser

it,

of

I

Now my own self talk, me my life was a shambles, and

everything. telling

along with my words had my words and had lost the words inside my head were

or the lack of

was the product

it

was.

I

was

calling myself

and was becoming one. I

With a clear realization that

some help doing

it,

answers. That year,

I

went 1

981

,

in 1

I

needed search

to

for

change and

met and begun studying 65

that

I'd

need

a new teacher and new with

Dr. R.

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

Buckminister Fuller. After my poor dad and my rich dad, Dr. Fuller was the third major influence on my life. People have called him one of the most original minds of the 20 th century. He was a futurist, author, inventor and philosopher. Many of his predictions are coming true in our age. Dr. Fuller also had an opinion on words. He said "they are the most powerful tools created by

man."

EMI'S STORY:

My

welfare attitude conflicted directly with

my

desire for spiritual

freedom. Buddha teaches that we have the potential to be free and that we need to work at that. Even the term Buddha means "awake." A Buddha is someone who has purified all "veils and delusions"

time for

and accomplished

me

become a

to

excellent virtuous qualities.

work at removing

my own

veils

and

It

delusions

was and

better person.

me because of the excellent teachings the teachers in explaining how to apply them. The excellent teachings and clarity in applying them was why Buddhism appealed to

and the

clarity of

Buddhism appealed to me. Another reason for my attraction to was because most of the teachers met were kind, happy, had a great sense of humor and embraced life.

the Buddhist path

I

I

wanted I

had

to cultivate those qualities

to learn to trust

my

spiritual

in

myself too.

leanings

ethical principles that our parents infused

and in

follow the

deep

me

rather than rely on spiritual path purely

the government. believed that following my would provide for me. But also had to make sure that wasn't trading one institution for another. This time, my path had to be I

I

I

my own and had I

walk

with

it

my

my

eyes wide open.

decision to work in Alaska so could earn enough money and study in India, asked my ex-husband to care for Erika the next year. He agreed, so she returned to Hawaii from

With

to travel for

to

I

I

Colorado, and he enrolled her in a Japanese Buddhist school Honolulu. The decision to leave her went against everything I

66

in

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

knew

right as a mother. She desperately wanted to go to me. Unfortunately, knew wouldn't have the money to afford both of us making the journey, let alone providing for her while we were there. was also concerned about health and exposure to disease there; after all, she was just a little girl. In truth, despite it all, wanted nothing more than to take her with me. My

to

be

India with

I

I

I

I

experience India for the first time together. In my mind, it simply wasn't financially possible, and saw that as part of the sacrifice.

wish

was

for us to

I

Leaving Boulder, Colorado, let alone my decision to go to Alaska, then India made no sense to the people around me. My exhusband thought my idea of leaving was irresponsible, he thought I

was a

flake,

and my dad was

very concerned.

I

remember, my

mom always wanted me to be a "good girl," and my actions often baffled them. Mom and Dad wanted a life of security and guarantees. But was on my own path and even though realized might not find what was searching for, was willing to take the I

I

I

I

I

risk.

me

there was a compelling need to go to India, and for one of times in my life, wasn't going to let disapproval stop me. was going forward with or without permission. knew what wanted; there was no question. Going to India to study was what had to do even though it meant putting aside being a mother for In

the

first

I

I

more than a

I

I

I

year.

Today, looking back realize that this was "my calling." Back then, it felt like an undercurrent within me telling me had to go. Sometimes callings involve sacrifices and challenges, and that was certainly true in my case. I

I

67

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

Chapter 7 LEAPS OF FAITH

ROBERT'S STORY: Taking a leap of faith implies that you won't have all the answers, and some people are afraid of that. Not me. What frightens me are people who believe they actually have all the answers. 984, now ten years into my commitment to work found myself asking the same question asked as a child. "Is there really a God?" To be honest, the reason questioned it as a child was because couldn't get beyond the dogma of the church to find the spirituality. couldn't have stated it that way then, but the truth was couldn't understand how people who were so religious on Sundays could be so sinful every other day. knew why did bad things. They were fun. But was a kid. Surely adults should be able to keep their word and be more true to their faith than a kid could be. As a child wondered why so many people publically professed to believe in God, yet did In

December of

on

myself,

1

I

I

I

I

I

I

I

I

I

I

terrible things in private.

It

was as

if

they had secret

lives.

now as an adult, with the question of "is there a God" left unanswered from my past, searched for the method to not just answer the question, but to prove that answer's validity. didn't want someone else's opinions. wanted to find out for myself. wanted proof. So

I

I

I

I

By

this

time,

I

had

re-built

my

nylon wallet business with factories

in

Taiwan and Korea. The business had morphed into a company that manufactured goods for rock bands like The Police, Van Halen, Boy George, Duran Duran, Iron Maiden and others. got the idea for the leap of faith in 1981 when attended a weeklong seminar by R. Buckminster Fuller. For five days he talked I

I

about the future of business and that the greatest economic changes were over the horizon. He spoke of the end of the

68

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

age and the dawn of the information age. He spoke of the cruelty of excessive greed and how the coming information age would be the dawn of generosity and abundance. can see, now, he was speaking of the changes we are undergoing today. industrial

I

The time spent with I

one

Dr. Fuller,

of the greatest geniuses of our

though did my best to pay attention, missed much of what he was saying. His talk was way over my head. was sound asleep much of the time. Finally, he said one thing that did connect with me. He talked about the proof of God. He mentioned something about "no second-hand God." In other words, he did not need a preacher, to come time,

was

life-changing. Even

I

I

I

between him and the great

spirit to act as an interpreter. (He preferred to use the term, the great-spirit, a term the American Indians used or, nature rather than God, which he felt implied that

God was a Listening,

I

man.)

discovered that

named Guinea

Pig

B,

in

1927, Dr. Fuller

which stood

for

began a

Guinea

project he

Pig Bucky.

He

considered himself and his life as one big experiment, so at the age of 32, penniless, married with a young daughter, he set out to prove or disprove the existence of God. Finally,

was hearing something new and interesting at a seminar: God, during a talk that was supposed to be about the of business. He had my ear. I

Proof of future

Once upon a time, developer who lost business

man.

children,

and

Dr. Fuller himself was a small real estate everything. He realized he didn't have

it as a reminded him that he had a wife and him he should get a job. But every time he was

His friends

told

employed, the money and security diminished his learning and mental acumen. He felt money and security made him dim. So, he would leave the security of his job, jump off into the deep end and either sink or swim. He said he got smarter every time he took the leap without any security or means of financial support. could not have been more intrigued. I

69

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

suggested the concept ot committing your life to the ot others. You mean it wasn't just about me getting rich? Now he was sounding like my dad, my poor dad. The difference was my dad was about job security and Dr. Fuller wasn't. He was about taking a leap. There was so much conflict going on in my mind between Fuller's ideas and the ideas and beliefs of my two dads. But was fascinated and eager to hear more.

He

also

highest

advantage

I

At the seminar is

what was

I

received a copy of

written

on page

book,

Fuller's

Critical Path. This

145:

assumed that nature would 'evaluate' my work as went If was doing what nature wanted done, and if was doing would find it in promising ways, permitted by nature's principles, my work being economically sustained and vice-versa, in which latter negative case must quickly cease doing what was doing and seek logically alternative courses until found the new course that nature signified her approval of by providing for its physical "/

I

along.

I

I

I

—

I

I

I

support."

The passage held the key existence of God.

What

what God wanted done; solved,

money

money

didn't

for

it

how

meant

i.e.,

I

could prove or disprove the me was that if was doing

to

I

a problem that God wanted support would show up.

solving

or some form of life show up, should change directions quickly or I'd starve to death. This idea was exciting and actionable. was about taking a leap of faith and trusting in God. money showed up meant God was approving of what was doing. Also meant me using my intuition to do what God wanted done, not doing what wanted to do. So much for the idea of doing what If

I

It

If

it

I

it

I

you

love.

this concept wasn't enough, Dr. Fuller also shook my status quo when he said most businesses produced what he called obnoxico. That was his term for businesses that produce products

As

if

that did not

add

life

support to planet earth. The only purpose

for

companies classified as obnoxico was to make money, not create a better world. Today these products are called bling, or

70

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

chatchkies.

my

In

heart,

I

knew

that

my rock and

roll

business

was

obnoxico company, and spent days and weeks in denial mentally rationalizing and arguing with myself about it. was doing my best to figure out how nylon wallets and hats with rock band logos silk screened on them added value.

a

classic

I

I

spent her days wrestling with being on welfare, was my business and its products the things was spending my life doing had very little real impact on planet earth. was making money, but wasn't doing much good. This realization was a major upset, a complete break up of the very foundation of my business, my work and my value as an entrepreneur. It challenged just about every belief had. Just as Emi

I

—

wrestling with the idea that

—

I

I

I

I

I

was a

different person,

changed

forever by the notion that

I

was

doing well financially, but not doing much good for the world. Today through Dr. Fuller, realize two financial statements paint a picture of our lives. One is a personal financial statement which tells us how we're doing in terms of money. And the second one measures how much good we have done for the world. was rich at the first financial statement and bankrupt on the second. I

I

Many people have very strong personal financial statements. But way they make their money not doing much good for the world. For example, wouldn't feel good being rich, no matter how wonderful my lifestyle, got that way owning a tobacco company since my dad died of lung cancer. My financial statement might look good, but wouldn't be happy with my the

is

I

if

I

I

second

financial statement.

Then there are people who have done a lot of good and are very strong in social accounting terms, but their personal financial statement is weak. This is my sister, and that's why we got together. believed that we both can have two strong financial statements. Many people of faith believe that monastics should always be poor, but in my sister's monastic order there is no vow of poverty, just an expectation to live a simple life. This was my opportunity to share with my sister what know about money so her financial statement would look as good as her cosmic I

I

71

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

accounting one. That way she could look atter helped others. That's what big brothers are for.

herself while she

reminds me of the story of Indian guru, Bhagawan Shri Rashneesh, a rather colorful and controversial character. In the 980s, he took over a ranch near the remote town of Antelope, Oregon, with his religious order and upset the 40 or so people living in the town. He drew thousands of followers and a good bit of attention. During one interview a reporter from New York asked him, "Why do you have 93 Rolls Royces?

This

1

His reply

was, "That

you have 93

Rolls

is

not the question. The question

is

why

don't

Royces?"

Rolls Royce's may get embellished every time this but the guru's comment is still funny and, to me, filled

The number of story

with

is

told,

some

truth.

don't think being poor makes me any more spiritual. the circumstance actually robbed me of it it stronger. After the Fuller seminar, realized wanted two financial statements and wanted both of them to be strong. knew that dream was impossible as long as was producing obnoxico. Personally,

I

when was poor, my spirit; didn't make In

fact

I

I

I

I

I

I

What haven't yet revealed is my own personal "last straw." After attending the Future of Business seminar with Dr. Fuller, took to a trip to my overseas factories in Korea and Taiwan. What saw I

I

I

me: children laboring in terrible conditions to silk-screen rock band logos on my company's products. Kids were squatting in cramped conditions, inhaling the noxious fumes in the heat with no ventilation. was getting rich, but taking their lives, producing obnoxico, a product with no long-term value. Once again my life changed. horrified

I

Don't get me wrong, like my bling and chotchki's. I'm not saying they have no value whatsoever. My wife Kim calls me the king of bling. love the nice things in life, and also have the ability to pay I

I

I

for

them. I'm

just

glad don't produce them. I

72

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

my factories

in the Far East, spent time book, Critical Path. For me it was a tough book to comprehend. So formed a study group and spent hour upon hour discussing various points of the book with others who wanted to learn, too. studied Dr. Fuller during all of 981 and 982 and in that same year decided to start my next career as a teacher. It was a profession swore would never pursue since school and teachers never ranked high on my likability list. But, vowed to learn to become the kind of teacher wished had taught me when was in school. My idea was to teach through games and actions rather than words, rote memorization, lectures and meaningless test.

After returning from

reading more from

I

his

I

1

1

I

I

I

I

I

I

young woman named Kim and took six months for her to agree to go on a date with me, and in February of 1984, on our first date, we spent hours until dawn talking about life's purpose, business and my impending Fuller-inspired leap of faith. In

late 1983,

began

1

met a

beautiful

asking her out.

It

began selling off my business and factories to do the work God wanted done and prove God's existence. began thinking of God not as a macho white guy who determined my future, like was taught in Sunday school, but as the great spirit. Like Dr. Fuller, felt more connected to this Native American concept of God. At the start of 1984,

1

I

I

I

My

plan was to teach, outside the school system, the important were not being taught within it. In many ways wanted to save others from what my dad was facing due to his own lack of financial education. He was still struggling with his lessons that

finances. In

I

I

wanted

December of

1

save him too.

to

984,

1

sold

my Mercedes,

left

my

luxury

apartment

the Colony Surf Hotel on Diamondhead and gave up the finer things in life. That was all fine with Kim. We held each other's hand and took the leap together. in

73

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

EMI'S STORY:

and barely knew each other at

Robert

I

this

time of our

lives.

We

were both taking leaps of faith but were so far removed from each other that it was only much later when we discovered it.

was a good place to earn by way of Alaska. worked two jobs, one in an office supply company that was sending goods to the workers on the Alaskan pipeline, and my second position was always a waitressing job of some kind. I

went

to India

money

fast.

It

I

My

friend and drove from a 1953 GMC truck with a passenger door that would fly open for no reason. With no seatbelts and no warning, the truck's crazy door had us on edge for much of the trip. The truck had no heat, so the January cold was brutal on us. At one point we slid off into a snow bank and without a snow shovel, we used whatever we had to dig our way

The

trip

to Alaska

was

grueling.

Boulder, Colorado, to Fairbanks

out.

A

frying

pan

I

in

did the job.

meant waiting on tourists in the summer, and in the colder months, pipeline workers or a few locals who knew how to brave the winter. It was a transient place, everyone wanted to get out on the pipeline as quickly as they could to make their fortune in this 20 th century oil rush. Most were bad tippers. Waitressing

Even though was working so much, it was freeing in a way to be able to dedicate myself toward my goal of making it to India. was with Buddhist friends from Hawaii and Colorado and we lived our simple life in the middle of what was a modern day Wild West. I

I

Everyone's

because

it

dream was to get out on the pipeline with a union job meant a lot more money. Overtime paid time-and-a-

One friend of mine got a job as part of the carpenters' union and through her good wages and lots of overtime funded her master's degree in no time. half or better.

For

me, wanted

to get in and out of Alaska as quickly as could could get to India by the coming fall. Many saw Alaska as the land of milk and honey, a place where riches came easy. My goal

so

I

I

I

74

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

was to get to India, study there with authentic Tibetan teachers. saw Alaska as a means to an end.

I

knew Robert had spent time in Valdez, Alaska in 1969 as a ships He was making $48,000 a year working 7 out of 2 months. He had no expenses and was able to make and save far more than me. This seemed to be a pattern in our lives. I

officer.

1

my 9 months in Alaska socking away nearly every made amounted to about $4,000. That bought me two

By contrast, dollar trips

I

back

to Hawaii to see Erika,

to live there, frugally, for In

September

1975,

my

six

passage

to India

and the money

months.

friends

and

I

flew to India, landed

in

Calcutta and took trains to New Delhi. From there we traveled further into the Himalayan foothills on sooty and crowded coal trains. recall toileting was a precarious affair. Picture squatting over a hole in the floor with the tracks flying by below and nothing more than a greasy water pipe to hang on to so you wouldn't slip and fall. That pretty much described it. I

We

also took bicycle rickshaws,

the

human-drawn rickshaws

which were an improvement over Calcutta where emaciated men ran, pulling us well-fed Americans over terrible, pot-holed roads. The experiences were unforgettable. I

arrived

in

in

Dharamsala, the place where

His Holiness

The Dalai

very poor Lama lives in exile. The small mountain village was with wood or coal fires for heat and cooking. There were almost no toilets and little running water. People would line up to wash still

the two village taps and use ashes from the fire as an abrasive to clean their pots and pans. Life there was like nothing had ever experienced. their dishes at

I

Most people don't think of India as cold, but in the Himalayas it was. arrived there with a good goose down jacket, but with snow on the ground and frigid cement houses, was still very cold. was didn't care, though. felt had found my heaven on earth. I

I

I

I

where was supposed I

I

I

to be.

75

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

It

didn't take long to find

a place to

stay.

Rent

for

a very small

room that was barely bigger than my sleeping bag was 35 rupees was fine; didn't need much. per month which was about $4. was just happy to be there. It

I

I

we went

to visit the "Rainmaker," a Tibetan a little shack up the mountainside. He was called the "Rainmaker" because of his ability to start or stop the rain through prayer and ceremony. We wanted him to journey with us to New Delhi on New Year's, but he said he couldn't because he would have to stop the rain on New Year's Day. Sure enough it snowed all day New Year's Eve, and then on New Year's Day the sky was bright was bright and weather beautiful; a perfect I

recall the time

shaman who

day

to

lived in

go out and celebrate.

The walls of the Rainmaker's building were nothing more than flimsy, wood slats rummaged from orange crates. Imprinted on the slats were the words, "Friends from America." The light of day showed right through the slats. The Tibetans are hardy people, though, happy to be in freedom and living near the Dalai Lama.

Once

we

on grimy mats atop the pounded earth and read a Tibetan text placed on an overturned box. Someone quickly intervened and placed a crumpled, charcoal-smeared rag under the pages. It was all he had. Even in these poor conditions, out of respect for the Teachings we did not place the prayers on bare surfaces. inside,

made an

sat

effort to

Attending the courses at the Tibetan Library was amazing. They

were taught by Venerable Geshe Ngawang Dhargyey, a

senior

monk and then translated into English. The class was for and there were people attending from all over the world.

Tibetan visitors

I

could hear translators murmuring the words into French, Spanish, Italian, Japanese and other languages. The teachers were highly trained and educated scholars who took so much joy in teaching. They didn't just teach, they infused their understanding and experience into each lesson. For example they spoke of the suffering of human life— those times when we work so

76

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

hard to attain what we want, but don't make it. Or, when we so hard to attain what we want in life, get it, and then don't want it. Or, when we strive so hard to attain what we want in life, and inevitably it gets ripped away from us. They taught if there was, in fact, no release from suffering in life, then why study suffering at all? But, if there is potential to attain freedom from suffering, then we should find a way and not leave any stone unturned. strive

is one the many topics in Lam Rim, the "graduated path to enlightenment" and is what went to India to study. was drawn to a path that inspired striving for our greatest potential as human beings; the possibility of attaining enlightenment by removing all the misperceptions and delusions of life and to attain all excellent virtuous qualities. wanted the courage to take up the path to enlightenment and to find the joyful spirit the Tibetans lived even with such hardship.

This

I

I

I

—

Before our winter break from classes, my teacher Geshe Dhargyey suggested that become a nun. was flabbergasted! This was the farthest thing from my mind and spontaneously, blurted out, "It might be difficult. have a young daughter." Erika was now living with her father, so it was understandable that those around me would not know of my family or life in Hawaii. wondered how would live as a nun with a young daughter when lived in the I

I

I

I

I

I

I

West. During the six-week break, we went on a pilgrimage to the Buddhist holy places: Lumbini in Nepal, where the Buddha was born; Sarnath where he first taught; Kushinagar where he passed away; and Bodhgaya where the Buddha attained enlightenment. We also made it to Rajgir, also called Vulture's Peak, where the Buddha taught the Heart Sutra, an important teaching on Buddhist

wisdom. In Bodhgaya, spent many weeks sharing a tent with five Tibetans and attending teachings by Kyabje Ling Rinpoche, the Dalai Lama's senior tutor. All the while, couldn't shake what Geshe Dhargyey said to me about becoming a nun, and though did not I

I

I

77

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

know what becoming a nun appealed to me.

really

meant

at that point,

it

When we resumed classes in Spring 1976, asked Geshe Dhargyey again about monasticism. He surprisingly parroted my earlier response saying, "It might be quite difficult; you have a young daughter." laughed nervously. But then he said, "It would be wonderful if you did that." 1

I

Now

that

I

spend my

was

at the foot of

studying,

life

my teacher,

and took the I

I

leap.

found what wanted to I

No meditative

retreat

required.

Ten years Erika

later

I

finally

took

my vows

to

become a

Buddhist nun.

In

deepened my understanding of the teachings, raised and consider how would live my life as a Western Buddhist In 1985, returned to India and was ordained by His Holiness

that time

I

I

nun. the Dalai Lama. 1

ROBERT'S STORY:

and me, the year 985 was the worst year of our lives. We Honolulu and moved to San Diego to pursue our next careers as teachers, business people and investors. Sometimes we had less than five dollars a week for food. Thank God there was a little taco stand down the street that we could walk to and get a quesadilla for ninety-nine cents. But that quesadilla had to last more than one meal. Things were worse than that. We eventually became homeless. We slept in people's basements and studied with what the Bible calls false prophets much like Emi's Zen master in Hawaii who showed up drunk. For Kim

1

left

We probably had as many as fifteen false prophets, some of whom were geniuses. Despite their intelligence, they always had

a character flaw that wiped out their strength of character. For example, one teacher made a habit of sleeping with his attractive young seminar participants. It's hard to have spiritual power when you are unethical or amoral. Regardless of how long we stuck with

78

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER of these teachers, we learned from every the best of what they offered and moved on.

any

We changed money

or

life

one

of

them, took

directions again, and again. As Dr. Fuller said, support would show up if we were doing what

God

wanted done. So money didn't show up, we'd trust on intuition, change directions, learn our lessons and keep going. For almost a year teaching life purpose through Dr. Fuller's principles there was very little money. We found companies didn't want to send their employees to learn about living a more fulfilling life; they wanted seminars that taught them how to be better employees. We lived if

on less than $4,000 for most of 1985. Finally in December of 1985, one seminar we put on actually showed a small profit, and we made $1 ,500. was my sign that we were doing what God wanted done. was a joyous Christmas. It

It

had no money was the happiest had studying something wanted to learn rather than something had to learn to pass a test. For the first time in my life, had become a student because had found one

As with Emi, even though

been because was I

I

I

I

finally

I

I

I

of

my

life's

Unfortunately

were

his

I

teachers

Dr. Fuller

books and

Ironically,

the

Hawaii,

May

in

in Dr.

last

his

time

Buckminster

died on July 1, 1983. All had after that tapes to further my learning. I

I

studied with

of 1983, the

and

Fuller.

Dr. Fuller

was

same town where my

in

Pahala,

mom and dad

same place where Emi lived in the Buddhist you saw how small this town is you'd wonder why anyone would be there, let alone all of us. met

in

temple

1945 in

1973.

the

If

EMI'S STORY:

Some people go

find their calling early in

life;

they

know they want

late

to

medical school or into music for instance. Some find it very in life and others never find it at all. Many times other people

to

such as our parents and teachers

tell

79

us

what our

calling should

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

be.

I

never could have guessed would I

find

my

calling at the

age

of 27 at the foothills of the Himalayas. It

was on

this

first

trip

that

I

met

His Holiness

the Fourteenth Dalai

We were

granted two private interviews with him to discuss questions Westerners have about Buddhism. He focuses completely on you and the event at hand; his presence was commanding. But we were shocked when he said that Tibetans were note Buddhist. "I would say 90%; 90% are not Buddhist," he

Lama.

said.

We

realized

he was speaking of people

who may claim

in

general; Buddhists

be sincere practitioners, but who still cling to reputation, the greed and grasping at possessions and pleasure sacrificing ethics, marriage vows, sometimes even health in an effort to seek selfish fleeing happiness. everywhere

to

My return from India and reentry into western life and parenthood was not easy. had to find a job and become a parent again. was a rough time. worked as a bookkeeper eking out a living in Los Angeles and raising my young daughter. was the clash of It

I

I

It

being able to study with my teacher all day was now gone. It was replaced with working full time, continuing my studies and being the mother of a pre-teen. cultures that

In

hit

me. The

1984 wrote the Dalai I

luxury of

Lama

requesting ordination as a nun.

I

had been considering ordination for almost ten years and had received an endorsement from my teacher in Los Angeles to move forward with my aspiration. took several months to hear back from the Dalai Lama's office approving my request. was nervous regardless of whether would be accepted or turned down. When got the letter, experienced a full range of feelings; excitement, fear, relief, and more. Life was changing once again. began preparing for my return to India. It

I

I

I

I

I

requested ordination with the Dalai Lama because looked up to him as an excellent guide. was honored to have been

I

I

I

accepted. felt by taking them for a long time. I

my vows

so

with him,

I'd

be able

to

keep

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

Ordination in Dharamsala was truly an experience of entering a different world. Before ordination, they gave me my robes, which felt was wearing my promises felt very different, because to me which were precious. had never before been in a room only with monastics and here was before His Holiness the Dalai Lama and dozens of monks in colorful golden robes. Before went into the temple for ordination, monks shaved my head leaving a little tuft of hair to be clipped by the ordaining master during the I

I

I

I

I

ceremony. receiving a higher level of ordination sat with me and he ceremony for me. It was very solemn with monks chanting and reciting the vows was to keep. During the ceremony, The Dalai Lama gave me my ordination name, Tenzin

A monk

translated the entire

I

Kacho. Tenzin means holding the teachings and Kocho means sky enjoyer. I

became Tenzin Kacho on October 5,

1985.

When returned from India, went back to Los Angeles and resumed work as a bookkeeper wearing western clothes. But this time, when got home would don my robes and take care of the Buddhist center in West Los Angeles. At the same time, went back to school and got my bachelors degree in psychology and I

I

I

I

I

gerontology.

had gone full circle, being able to return to India, to my studies and go on to further to study as a monastic. And yet was still a challenge because was struggling with the same life pattern of wanting the simple life but not having adequate finances, even in I

it

I

the most rudimentary sense.

was like being a caterpillar entering a cocoon and emerging as a Buddhist monastic. After ordination had spent another six months in India so could gain some experience and understand my new role. The time there was supportive and encouraging, but was nervous about returning and facing my duties. Would be worthy to wear the robes? It

I

I

I

I

81

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER 986, Robert was teaching at a Tony Robbins seminar in Hollywood where he was teaching students to walk across fire. Getting together after all these years made me both excited and apprehensive about seeing him. It had been such a long time, and was a dramatically different person. How different would he be? felt we would be incarnations and philosophies apart. Kim was the first to speak and when she saw me in my robes she said, "You really must be committed to this?" In

1

I

I

And

replied, "Do you think I'd be walking around the streets of LA robes with a shaved head if wasn't committed?" That was the awkward beginning to a wonderful and long overdue visit with my brother and his new wife. He too, had changed. in

I

I

82

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

Chapter 8

WHY WE FOLLOW OUR TEACHERS

ROBERT'S STORY:

When was a I

1

I

realized

had two handicaps

I

I'm inherently lazy - That laziness

school 2.

kid

I

and has

at;

me

me

caused

to flunk out of

millions of dollars.

particular talents - There wasn't anything

have no

good

cost

in life.

I

had no

specialty,

I

I

was

was average.

These two things drew me closer to Dr. Fuller, who like me, considered himself an ordinary person. By reputation, however, he is considered one of the most accomplished men in U.S. history. He was known as the planet's friendly genius.

wanted to do anything in Knowing was inherently lazy realized I'd have to find environments where laziness wasn't tolerated. Surfing was good for me. was lazy the waves pounded me. One of my friends actually died at Sunset Beach where we surfed. He took off on a large wave and was a little late on the turn. He wiped out and they didn't find his body until a few days later, when searchers discovered what remained of him after the sharks. Dr. Fuller was not a surfer, he was a sailor and he often said that men of the land were different than men of the sea because men of the sea respected the powers of nature. Spending so much time in the ocean, learned to respect the forces of nature early in I

if

I

I

life

If

I

I

life.

was another environment that worked for me. didn't needed the discipline of the sport. Playing football was not a place for lazy people. The training was intense and the constant fear of bodily harm meant couldn't allow myself the luxury of what the coach called pussy-footing. Even during practice, being lazy got you "two more laps." Laziness in a game meant someone else played while sat on the bench. Football

particularly like football, but

I

I

I

I

83

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

much the same reason. knew that a strict and academic environment was the best way tor me to graduate. The discipline was extreme, twenty tour hours a day, went to the University of Hawaii, seven days a week. knew would have flunked out. A party school environment wouldn't have been a good environment for me. I

went

to Kings Point for

I

military

if

I

I

I

Even at the Academy, sought out more disciplined environments. joined the rowing team because had to find a sport that was more painful, more disciplined than school itself. The pain of rowing on freezing Long Island Sound in the winter was so grueling, my hands and butt were always bleeding. But the pain gave me the escape from the misery of school that needed. I

I

I

I

And then after the Academy, went to the Marine Corps where laziness was defined as dishonor. meant you let your fellow Marines down and was not tolerated. In Vietnam where laziness meant death. I

It

it

may be why am an entrepreneur today; because laziness means going broke. There's no job security. Many countries like France and Australia make very hard to fire a person for laziness. But entrepreneurs are fired every day by the market. Again, it's

This

I

if

another environment that does not tolerate

laziness.

By finding the environments where was pushed mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually, beyond my reality of I

was

what

being pushed into an altered state of consciousness. The "zone" they call it today. experienced so many times. In football, I'd catch a pass that no one could catch or make a tackle that seemed impossible. The possible,

I

would

find myself

I

it

caused me to play beyond my self-defined limits. playing outside of myself. Some therapists call this "forced meditation."

pressure

I

was

Rowing races are 10 minutes long. After 4 minutes, you are running on empty and for the next 6 minutes your body is running on pure will power. It's the 8-man crew that can run on pure will power alone that wins. The pain is so excruciating that there is no energy

S4

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

left;

except

for

a

within the boat. of

spiritual

above

synchronicity

the pain that sets in into an altered state

The whole team of eight taps

power.

should have In Vietnam, there were times when my crew and died but didn't. Something else took over. Often, after the events, we would ask ourselves, "Why are we still alive? Why are those guys dead? How did we get out of that situation?" Many times we went beyond life and death. I

meditates, never meditate. tap into my zone through Prigogine won the Noble Prize in chemistry in 1977 for the Theory of Dissipative Structures. He believed that stress is the way intelligence grows. By putting myself into intense situations that pushed me beyond the limits of what think I'm capable of, grew. And discovered all this because of my inherent laziness.

My

sister

I

I

Ilya

stress.

I

I

I

Most of my life has been about taking myself to the breaking point which as Prigogine said, causes stress which causes things to reorder. Most people go the other way; they take the easy way. Like the people in my neighborhood who walk slowly around the loop, thinking they are exercising but never shed a pound. They are moving but not stressing, so their bodies never reorder. High performance athletes know they must take themselves to the breaking point and beyond

that want to get stronger, better, Improvement happens by going beyond the limits.

faster.

When was

if

5 years old and went out for football, was 240 pounds. By the end of the season, was 195 pounds and stronger, thanks to the stress of exercise. To make steel stronger, the metal is often heated to red hot, then dropped into cold water. It's the stress between hot and cold that strengthens the metal. This is what Prigogine was talking about. Just like steel, humans are capable of becoming stronger through stress. I

1

I

I

I

Many

have experienced the feeling of going beyond what and of not giving into reality. It's beyond an adrenaline rush. The zone is an out of body experience.

we

of us

think

is

possible

85

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

found need stressful situations to relax. Golf is relaxing for many people, but it doesn't get me into a state where can let everything go. end up thinking about everything else except golf when play. So relax by going extreme. This is why enjoy sports that are extreme. When play rugby, think of nothing else but the I

I

I

I

I

I

I

I

I

game. Twice while around Dr. Fuller, reached a different state of being. believe entered a parallel dimension of the current reality. The two events, yet very different from the states of consciousness achieved through stress or danger, were just as powerful. They arrived through compassion rather than pain. Every other I

I

I

I

—

organization that was part football, rowing, the military required toughness. When was around Dr. Fuller, my zone wasn't a state of toughness, but a state of compassion. I

I

am thankful for my handicap of laziness.

It put me into places could not drag me down. don't allow myself the luxury to say can't do something or can't afford something. That's laziness, and won't allow my laziness to dictate my future. My future is today. That's karma. I

where the

laziness or

karma

of

my past

I

I

I

Today have two "zone" states and use them both. The tough state. And the compassionate state. They take me to a similar spot, and it's kind of a euphoria, where the things that worry about are meaningless and of no consequence. I

I

I

When

I

see on the news or

talk to

people who are stressed out

and their jobs, can't help but feel the reason they are in that state because they have not stressed themselves enough. They have not pushed themselves beyond their pain. On one of about

bills

I

is

new programs, recall seeing a woman lament about being 4 months behind in her house payments and on the brink of foreclosure. The reporter asked her what she was going to do. Her reply was astonishing to me, "Well, I'm just going to hope for the best." reminds me of a sermon my minister gave when was a

the morning

I

It

kid.

It

was

I

titled

"Hope

is

for

the Hopeless."

86

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

Now onto the issue of no particular talents. When heard Dr. Fuller say that he considered himself an ordinary person with no special talents felt a connection. He was thrown out of Harvard twice for conduct issues just as had had my challenges with conduct, and finally finished his degree at the U.S. Naval Academy. I

I

I

He claimed to have no special talents, but he accomplished so much. AIA (American Institute of Architects) calls him the greatest architect, but he has no degree in architecture. Harvard recognizes his as one of their most noted graduates, yet he never graduated from Harvard. He authored 25 books and holds over 2,000 patents, even though he was a specialist at nothing. said that

Dr. Fuller

a

life

of specialization

can

easily

become a

life

obsolescence. And the more specialized you are the fewer people you can serve. He thought it was better to be a generalist than a specialist. Specialists look at the world from a narrow point of view while generalists look at life from the big picture. Our of

schools actually train us to

be

specialists,

not generalists.

Entrepreneurs are often generalists and they usually are the richest people because they have served the most people. This theory has played out in my life. As a generalist can assemble great teams of people who are more expert than me to make things happen. In the process, we all learn together, we become passionate about the impact we are making and we all grow together, make money, and serve others. The entrepreneurial I

mission

is

a

spiritual mission

that

is

usually

about much more than

money. Dr. Fuller

provided

me much

God

inspiration for just

about everything

I

not scarce, God is abundant. Economics defined conventionally as "the allocation of scarce resources" is a myth. Resources aren't scarce. Everyone can participate in abundance and in fact that is what God's wants us to do. do.

He

said that

Dr. Fuller

taught.

helped It is

combining

me

is

this

with

anyone can be wealthy they are have the opportunity to learn. By

realize that

everyone's

right to

if

my poor dad's

87

sense of service,

my

rich

dad's

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

money and

sense of to live

Dr. Fuller's

generalized principles,

a somewhat experimental

from the

rat race,

life

of

I

was able

my own —removing

myself

then seeking out and doing God's work.

Fuller also had a lot to say about the state of the planet. He said humans are in what he called "the final examination" and we don't take care of this pianet, we will perish. He thought insane that we each other over oil and invest so little in limitless renewable energy, like solar power. All the energy we need is at if

it

kill

we fight over a vanishing resource that when burned contaminates our planet and harms all of us. make a point of reinvesting into solar energy development the money

our disposal, yet

I

make from my

oil

I

investments.

Earth, Dr. Fuller said,

a

is

allowing us to create

little

"dirtball

heaven on

way or the

planet where nature

earth."

He

didn't think

is

God

really

be believed that we should care. After all, our home, the earth, is a living organism and we are killing we believe change only emerges through emergency (emerge is the root of emergency) then we are hitting emergency cared one it.

other, but

If

now. Think about energy: it's not science but greed that has caused slow progress finding and developing the infrastructure alternative fuels. Solar

figured out

how

to put

is

right

for

before our eyes, but business hasn't

a meter between

us

and the

sun.

The generalized principles are not my rules and they are not Dr. Fuller's rules. As he stated in a class attended in August of 981 1

I

"You did not create it."

But

It

I

will

believe

survive

this

proceed upon

and

universe, its

and

you are not running us.

up to this generation to solve these problems, to experience what God intended, which is heaven on

it is

to

certainly

path with or without

earth.

88

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

TENZIN'S STORY:

My handicaps have been with me all my life. Since can remember have avoided conflict and sought the approval I

of

I

authority figures.

While was seeking my path, was hiding from my own self image and the embarrassment of my past actions. In school never was considered smart, now as an adult think what really had was undiagnosed ADD that made me feel disorganized and have poor I

I

I

I

concentration. Because of that

I

didn't consider myself smart

I

either.

The added pressure of my dad serving as the superintendant of education, made me afraid to speak up in class because people would realize how much didn't know. loved my dad and wanted to please him, so rather than embarrass myself and disappoint him, chose to keep quiet. Withdrawing to avoid I

I

I

I

difficult situations

Perhaps

if

discovery,

I

pattern established early

in life.

had allowed more exploration, inquiry and would not have retreated. In school there wasn't

school I

much room esteem.

became a

for

personal attention or for

was too

me

wrong

afraid of being

to

to build risk

my

self

exploring

and

discovering "right." Exploration and discovery became important to me. didn't want the same old life. And in a way, my handicap of hiding from conflict became a blessing, for it led me toward a path of study I

that

became my

life's

work and toward

the Dalai Lama. That's not to say that

overcome my handicap and can face working on

my teacher His

Holiness,

even today have I

conflict

head

on, but I'm

it.

My second handicap of quietly seeking approval dovetailed with my first one so perfectly, that together they formed one elegant system that has governed my life since childhood. Today have awareness of my handicaps, but have to watch that they don't hook me in. work to recognize them when they arise, then I

still

I

I

89

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

use them as a tool to help constructive action.

me move beyond them into more

who

from the time he was a teenager, put himself in forced him to overcome his handicaps, put myself in situations that perpetuated mine. In fact, looking back on it, the everyday choices made to avoid conflict and seek approval were reflexive, not even conscious. Nearly everything did in my life honed my tendencies. Unlike Robert

situations that

I

I

I

purposely avoided things that put

I

me

into direct

competition with

where my performance would be exposed. One time that can recall sticking my neck out happened through our local 4-H chapter when was 4. My sister and attended meetings and at one meeting, was assigned the task of setting up the booth for the annual Market Day to sell sushi, which included rounding up donations of all the ingredients, recruiting all the volunteers and preparing hundreds of rolls. This was a big community event for our town and a huge fundraiser. was a massive job, one that as a fourteen-year-old, could not fully comprehend. others or into situations I

1

I

I

I

It

I

When got home and told my mom what had been assigned, she asked why would choose to take on such a huge responsibility, implying that couldn't do it. immediately felt a sense of conflict, that couldn't do the job which would let down my 4-H leader who was counting on me. In this case, had taken a big risk of getting involved and in the process lost the approval I

I

I

I

I

I

I

of

my mother and

success,

leader thing

let

others

down. The event actually was a huge

and

who

tons of sushi showed up, helped, but it was the 4-H did most all the work. felt terrible about the whole

and never

I

I

forgot

it.

Looking back on the entire situation realistically, how much could have been expected from a young girl who was handed such a huge task with no training, no support and no encouragement? But that is now. Back then, the whole episode just reinforced my handicaps.

90

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

I

wish

I

knew then what now know from

the Buddhist teachings. simple practice could have helped: I

How this one "In all

my

actions

I

will

examine my mind and the moment a

disturbing attitude arises,

I

These are the words of an

will firmly th 1

confront

and

avert

century Tibetan master

it."

named

Geshe Langri Tangpa in the Eight Verses of Thought Transformation. Over the years found myself drawn to teachings such as these that combine service and practice and that teach me how to work and benefit others while deepening my understanding of life. take a verse like this and through what's known as "analytical I

I

meditation"

I

weigh

it

in

relation to

my own

life

experiences.

Another teaching that has helped me through times when I've encountered difficult people is powerful as well. We have all experienced co-workers, family, friends or neighbors who have us down; who say one thing and do another. The teaching removes the blame, reflects our expectations and helps us develop greater tolerance with those around us. It helps us develop compassion rather than anger and justification.

let

The verse to which am referring is: "When someone have benefited and in whom have placed great trust hurts me very badly, will practice seeing that person as my supreme teacher." I

I

I

I

the Dalai Lama mentions that Chairman Mao Tse-tung great teacher. It was under Mao's reign that the Tibetans lost their country, faced famine and destruction of over 6,000 monasteries and death of over 100,000 people. The Dalai Lama says the situation helped him be "unencumbered and almost a simple monk." His Holiness

was

his

study and teach these meditations, but putting them into practice is a life long mission. No one is perfect and neither am For years my imperfections had the upper hand and that played out by overworking, taking on too much and trying to please those around me. This behavior took its toll on my health. I

I

I.

91

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER In 998 during a routine examination, was told had cancer. was scared, first and foremost because the diagnosis was cancer, and second because had no idea how would take care of my medical expenses. had spent my life trying to develop skills to benefit others with little regard for myself or for money. Thankfully the spiritual community was visiting in Seattle took care of everything, and very much appreciated their support. 1

I

I

I

I

I

I

I

I

was that very support that perpetuated my view about But money. While there is a historical tradition of laypeople supporting monastics with food and medicine etc. in exchange for monastics offering teachings, prayers and blessings, it can be precarious if the expenses overburden the support system. Providing daily rice and aspirin is one thing, expecting laypeople to pay for MRI scans it

and

surgery

is

something

much

different.

Unfortunately, my cancer was a momentary wake up call. saw the need but continued to deny my past views and choices of I

lifestyle.

my

accepted a post in Colorado to lead a addition, there one of the chaplains at the U.S. Air Force Academy asked me to meet with cadets who were interested in Buddhism. ended up serving as the Buddhist Chaplain there for six years. My stipend eventually reached a peak of $600 per month, but had been as low as $200 during my time in Colorado. This stipend, typical for Buddhist Monastics, was barely enough to pay for even one of my medications along with food or any of the other necessities. My need for money and my belief that being a monastic meant trying to live with little money Shortly after

illness

small Buddhist group.

I

In

I

it

were

in

conflict.

The Dalai

Lama

Without is good. It is important. mention further development is impossible. ...In fact Buddhist texts mention the fruition of eight qualities including health, wealth and fame that define a fortunate

money

says "...money

daily survival, not to

existence."

W

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

He also says that "worldly happiness is based on the tour excellences which are the spiritual teachings, wealth, nirvana

and

satisfaction."

ot simplicity, as had defined it, worked when life was uncomplicated by things like illness. But when life became more challenging and medical bills, health insurance and ongoing care became realities, had to expand my definition of "simple" wanted to survive had to find a way to integrate my monastic life and my own well being in 21 century America. Living

a

lite

I

relatively

I

if

I

I

st

93

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

CHAPTER

9 ROBERT'S

RICH BROTHER PRINCIPLES

ROBERT'S STORY:

A

"Everyone wants to go to heaven but telling statement because it is as true figuratively as it is literally. This is the precise reason why many people do not take leaps of faith. They fear dying; even when they believe the leap is what has the potential to take them to proverbial heaven. friend of mine often no one wants to die."

A

says, It's

a

is both a death and a birth; it is a transition in life have taken leaps of faith many times in our lives. That of school is a leap of faith for many little kids. Getting married is a leap of faith between two people in love. Some leaps of faith are not voluntary, such as suddenly being fired for no apparent reason or having the person you love suddenly say, "I'm leaving you." Those leaps of faith are thrust upon us forcing us to make drastic changes. In many ways leaps of faith should be no

leap of

and we first day

faith

all

big deal; they are simply transitions

When

I

left

Hawaii

in life.

search of the proof of

in

God

everyone,

had lost was leaving paradise, a successful company had built and rebuilt, friends, and a great life style. On top of that, was taking Kim with me. Deep down, suspected my friends were right; was nuts. A part of me agreed with them because really did not know what was looking for. did not know what proof of God would look like or how would including me, thought

I

it.

I

I

I

I

I

I

I

I

I

recognize

When

it.

first time in 1965, to go to school in New York, looking for and what would find there. had seen pictures of the campus and had an idea of what a military school environment might look like. When volunteered for the I

I

left

Hawaii the

knew what was I

I

I

I

Marine Corps

had an idea about what my transition would look and feel like. knew was committing six years of my life, and successful, would emerge a pilot with combat experience. had seen news clippings of the war in Vietnam on television had I

I

if

I

I

I

I

94

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

watched a number of John Wayne war movies, so had an idea of what was leaping into. Taking a leap in December of 984 to was a leap into the dark look for God offered no such pictures. abyss of life. 1985 was the worst year of our lives. I

1

I

It

before we left Hawaii, a friend came up to Kim and me to wish on our new adventure. He was one of the few who seemed to understand our search. He did not think we were crazy. One of the original hippies, he had been a searcher for most of his Just

us well

life.

Like

my sister Emi, he had

very

little

materially, yet

he

possessed a deep sense of peace and happiness. Rather than question our sanity, he offered us a gift saying, "I will tell you a story that you can use on your journey. This story will assist you when life presents you your biggest tests of faith. This story will give your soul vision when times are darkest." His story turned out to be a very precious

gift.

"One day there was a man," my side of Niagara Falls with

he announced,

'I

will

began, "standing on one crowd gathered as my bicycle across this steel cable

his

ride

stretched to the other side of the

"Oohs and ahhs

woman said. 'You're nuts,' '"I

A

small

falls.'

came

from the crowd. 'How dangerous' a young risk your life,' pleaded another woman. Said an older man. 'You're going to kill yourself.'

'Please don't

know can do I

Soon he was

friend

bicycle.

it,'

said the

slowly peddling

dangling and swaying

just

man as he climbed on his bicycle. his way slowly across the cable,

a few feet over the raging

falls.

One

slip

and he would be gone forever. The crowd waited breathlessly as he reached the other side, turned his bicycle around and peddled back. As soon as he was back on land, the crowd rushed forward, many saying 'We knew you could do We had faith in you.' it.

'"Should do it again?' He asked with a big smile. 'Sure,' replied the crowd. 'We believe in you.' I

"'Okay,' said the to

go

man. "Since you now believe

with me?"'

95

in

me, who wants

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

"Suddenly the crowd went quiet. People started to squirm. In the midst of the silence, a few began to leave. Then from the middle of the crowd, a small voice said, 'I'll go with you." The crowd girl stepped forward and volunteered passenger. As the girl climbed into the basket on the front of the bicycle, many people in the crowd grew angry. 'How dare you risk her life?' said one person. 'I'm calling the police,' Said another.

grasped as a petite young

to

be

his

little girl and the bicycle once again started out The crowd was deathly silent. Everyone took a breath as they reached the other side, turned the bicycle around and headed back. Once safely on dry land, the crowd let out a loud cheer as they congratulated the young girl for her courage.

"Slowly, the

across the

man,

falls.

'"What gave you the courage?' asked a 'Weren't you afraid?' asked another. "No." replied the

young

woman of the young

girl.

girl.

"Why not?" asked the woman. '"Because believe

My its

in

this

my

man

is

father.

my I

father,' said the

trust

him with

my

little girl.

'I

don't

just

life.'"

hippie friend looked at Kim and me to see if his story had made Seeing that we understood the story, he said, "Most

point.

people believe in god. ..but very few people trust in god. When times get tough go beyond your belief in god. ..and trust in god. His gift serves us well, even today.

We

know people who believe in God but do not trust in god. may be why so many people will cling to boring jobs, low pay, bad people, dead marriages, or toxic environments. Again as all

This

another friend says, "People want to go to heaven but they do not to die." Many prefer to hang on to something familiar rather than let go and let God take them to their next destination. Many

want

believe

One of

in

God, but do not

of the

reasons

we had

trust in

God.

trust in

God's existence— is because

of

96

God — even we if

what

Dr. Fuller

weren't sure

called the

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

generalized principles governing the universe. Learning about them preceded our leap.

THE GENERALIZED PRINCIPLES: Kim and did not just jump blindly. Like my sister who spent ten years studying and preparing before she became a nun, we studied and prepared also. I

became a

student of his and book, Critical Path, he wrote about a few of the generalized principles, what he called the operating principles of the universe. In simple terms, generalized principles are principles that are true in all cases, no exceptions. These are the principles that literally make the world and the universe around us go round. In quasi-religious terms, the generalized principles are the operating principles of God.

After

meeting

Dr. Fuller in

struggled through a

1

981

number

,

1

of his books.

In his

One simple example Many are familiar with

the generalized principle of precession. precession as it relates to a spinning top or gyroscope and gravity. Gravity is a force that acts on one body the same way it acts on all others. Thanks to the law of gravity we know, if we leap from a ten-story building without a parachute, we will all hit the ground. There are no exceptions. Gravity does not care if we are rich or poor, college educated or a high school drop out, Christian, Jew, or Muslim. We can pray, meditate, and think positive thoughts, but chances are a fall from a ten-story building will put us in the hospital, if not kill us. Gravity treats us all the same, no exceptions. is

One

of the reasons people's lives

one

more

fail

to

work

is

because they

In other words, they expect gravity to treat them different than it treats everyone else. When Kim and took our leap of faith in 984, we were prepared to use the principles to guide us, to use them in our favor, and not be crushed by them. Allowing the generalized principles to guide us would lead us toward the proof of God.

violate

or

of the generalized principles.

1

I

At the second event attended with Dr. Fuller in 982, he mentioned that he estimated that there were approximately 200 1

I

97

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

such principles. It seemed to me that if we studied these 200 to 250 principles we might be able to tap into the powers of God. At the event, a small group was formed to assist Dr. Fuller in discovering all the generalized principles and put them in writing. was not a committee member but donated money to the project monthly. Unfortunately, the committee did not do much. In 1983, after Dr. Fuller died, realized that we had lost more than a great man. We lost a great body of knowledge. As far as know, the 200 to 250 generalized principles were never completely compiled. to 250

I

I

I

I

In

1983,

all

I

had

to study

were the few

principles Dr. Fuller

had

books. Although accessed only a few of those principles, it was the understanding of them that ultimately gave Kim and me the courage to take our leap of faith. The few generalized principles we did study enabled us to go beyond previously described

believing

in

God and

in his

I

allowed us to

God.

trust in

Like my sister, who read, studied, and immersed herself in the teachings of Buddha, a small group of us would get together, read, reread, and discuss the few generalized principles we found in Dr. Fuller's books. We would do physical demonstrations, acting out the principles and discussing, challenging and re-discussing their authenticity. We used the same rigors religious scholars have used for centuries to study their holy books. Our study discussions would start at 6 p.m. and sometimes go until the sun came up. mention this because will describe only five of the generalized principles we studied. My fear, though, is that my feeble and brief description of the generalized principles will be inadequate and unrepresentative of the power locked within them. I

I

UNITY This

IS

PLURAL not "one." According a minimum of two, significant because the

generalized principle states that unity

to this principle,

one cannot

exist.

Unity

is

is

at

meaning two or more. This principle is concept of only one God violates this generalized This principle

explains

Whenever we

why

think there

principle.

there are arguments and wars. only one way, one answer, or one

is

9S

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

violated

and peace

solution, the principle

is

remember as a

church, cringing every time

kid in

is

disturbed. I

I

heard the

preacher say, "There is only one God and only one way to God, that way is through our church and our religion." Even as a kid knew statements such as this were tighting words. As a kid, wondered why there could not be more than one way to God. When a religion claims to tbllow the one and only true God, that religion is cruising for a tight. Or if they propose there is only one path to God, they are again cruising for a fight. Today, we are still at war over who is following the one and only God. When visited

and

I

I

I

Jerusalem, the Holy City, Christians were at conflict with other Christians. They did not need Muslims or Jews to have a fight.

a man cannot exist if woman did not not know up without down, in without out, black without white, fast without slow, positive without negative, right without wrong, heaven without hell. In politics, we will always have at minimum a two-party system. We will always have liberals as long as there are conservatives. When dreamers wish for a oneworld government, know they do not understand this generalized Taking exist.

this

principle further,

We would

I

principle.

cannot

A

one-world government

is

not possible because one

alone.

exist

why being politically correct or excessively The reason many people want to be politically correct or nice to everyone is because they are afraid of criticism. They try to keep everyone happy. In reality, instead of making people happy, politically correct people are often too polite, and

This principle

polite

is

explains

ineffective.

therefore, often ineffective. Every

expect

it.

I

welcome

it!

book

Being criticized

I

write gets criticized.

means

I

something. am often asked if am shocked by what some people say about me in their web blogs. My reply is, "I'm glad upset them. It means I'm saying something." I

I

am saying

I

I've

Successful people are criticized. Unsuccessful people are not. Just think about how many people criticize political leaders, or religious leaders such as a president, prime minister, Pope or The Dalai

Lama. Even

men

point of view.

In

of God are not spared the wrath of an opposing the world of sports, professional sports teams and

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RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

star athletes

would not make the big bucks

opposing teams and no other

star athletes.

there were no Without disease

if

we

might not cherish health nor would we need doctors. And if humans always agreed, we would not need attorneys which might be a good thing in itself. Comprehending this generalized principle explains why there will always be attorneys, police, and a need for soldiers. His Holiness The Dalai Lama is more famous because of Communist China. Without the Chinese, his holiness might truly be the simple monk he describes himself to be. As my sister stated earlier, the world has had more years of war than

—

years of peace. In

the Bible,

we

find

examples

story of the great flood,

of this Generalized principle.

Noah loaded

his

In

the

arc with animals

marching on board, two-by-two. explains the reason why inside of everything something bad and vice-versa. Understanding this principle gave Kim and me the courage to take our leap of faith because we knew if we faced the bad we would find good.

This principle also

good

We

lives

started

this

book with the quote by

F.

Scott Fitzgerald:

'The test of a first rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time and still retain

the

ability to function."

The principle of unity is plural guided us toward God by giving us the clarity to not take sides on opposing ideas; rather through it, we do our best to see validity in all ideas. We learned faster because we didn't get caught up in looking for that one right answer, believing all other answers were wrong. We could see right and wrong in all answers. We did not judge ourselves as good or bad, success or failure. After awhile, we came to see our weaknesses as strengths, handicaps as advantages, and failures as successes. Knowing that humans were given a right foot and left foot, rather than a right foot and a wrong foot, allowed us to keep moving through some extremely difficult times, trusting our

100

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

intuition,

which

the connection

is

between our conscious and

subconscious minds. Rather than argue of view,

we

simply

and attempt

moved on

to

change another

realizing there

will

person's point

always be at

minimum, two opposing ideas. As the saying goes, if the two of you always agree, one of you is not necessary. Our job in life is to hold at least two opposing ideas and find our own path between the two or more ideas.

PRECESSION

We

have

seen the generalized principle of precession every of stone in the water. The rings or waves that expand out from the stone dropping are precessional effects. time

all

we drop

Many people

set goals. Kim and set goals also, but not for the goals but for the precession. In other words, our true goals were not in front of us but radiating out at 90 degrees from our direction. For example, many people want to know why we do not take our financial education directly into the school system. In other words, make the school system our target, our goal. Understanding the generalized principle of precession, we stayed away from schools and allow our ripple effect to affect education. In a latter generalized principle, you may understand why do not target schools as a goal, even though want to bring financial education into the school system. I

I

I

of precession is a gyroscope. When you a gyroscope it can stand on a slender pole. The ability for the spinning gyroscope to stand on a point is an example of precession. As a kid building rockets, soon found out that rocket scientists were using gyroscopes in the nose cone of their rockets for guidance systems. While at sea, ships also use gyroscopes to guide them, keep them on course across vast

Another

visible

example

spin the

wheel

of

I

bodies of water. 985, Kim and depended on precession to guide us just as precession guides rockets in space and ships at sea. In simple terms, precession is the feedback or echo or taps on your shoulder In

1

I

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RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

you receive from your forward movement. If we were doing what God wanted done, we got positive feed back, feed back such as money coming in, miracles happening, or meeting magical people. By the time we developed the CASHFLOW game and wrote Rich Dad Poor Dad, the positive feedback was telling us we were on the right path. Then we got an unmistakable dose of positive feedback. The phone rang and it was Oprah Winfrey asking us to be on her show! We considered that a very big signal from God. Through Oprah we knew we could help raise the Financial IQ of millions of people. That

was about a decade ago. Today, we work with Donald

Trump

to help improve the state of financial education around the world because of procession. We're doing God's work and God is giving us a helping had in doing it. We didn't seek out Oprah or even Donald, these tremendous people and relationships came to us.

The work, of course, that

and

it

made each

results

from relationships

of us stretch the limits of

could do. That's excellent. That's things,

like this

is

stressful

what we thought we

how great

things, the right

happen.

On

the other hand if the feedback was negative, Kim and would use our intuition, that bridge between our conscious and subconscious minds, and change course or set a new goal. Just as ancient sailors used water, air, wind, sun, moon, stars, currents, I

floating debris, birds,

and intuition to guide them across vast and were using the feedback or ripple

stretches of water, Kim

I

effects from precession to guide our internal navigation system.

a massive subject and have only touched on in this why the earth revolves around the sun, moon around the earth, and the stars' motions through the universe. also explains why some people are more successful Precession

is

I

it

short section. Precession explains

It

than others. Specifically, for there to be precession, there has to be motion in a direction. People who are slow or sedentary, not moving, or doing the same thing day after day, have very little

102

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

precession. Think of

God

it

this

way, they have very few

ripple effects of

in their lives.

Often times, people who are sedentary are receiving feedback, but it's the kind of feedback they don't like. People who are slow often gain weight, have bad health, and are left behind professionally and financially. These negative taps on the shoulder also are precessional events.

EPHEMERALIZATION very simple terms, ephemeralization means doing more with less. also be described as leverage. Ephemeralization is especially important in business. As a business person, if want to make more money, need to do more and more with less and less. If do less and less with more and more, will go broke simply In It

can

I

I

I

I

am violating

generalized principle. Many times, people earn less because they want to get paid more for doing less. Labor unions often subscribe to this idea which is why so many industries have left America. Simply said, if you want to earn

because

I

more you have

to

this

do more

for less.

Today ephemeralization

is easy. The personal computer has leveraged our minds and the world-wide-web has leveraged access to the world. Today, for a few dollars, most of us can be global entrepreneurs tapping into global markets.

When hear of people

struggling financially, it is often because those people are working physically rather than emphemerally. One of the reasons we have twenty-year-olds who are billionaires and other twenty-year-olds who are working for $10 an hour is due to the generalized principle of ephemeralization. I

From 1985 to 1994, Kim and ran an education company teaching entrepreneurship and investing. We were working physically. Once we proved we were practicing what we were preaching, and what we were teaching was working, we ephemeralized by putting information in books and board games. When we I

ephemeralized what knew worked

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into

books and board games,

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

we

precessionally

made more money.

principles ot empheralization In

Notice

how

and precession work

simple terms, ephemeralization

is

essential for

we

to attain great wealth. As business people,

the generalized together.

anyone who wants must constantly be

seeking ways to do more and more with less and less, serving more people and at ever accelerating acceleration rates of speed. If you can grasp this last sentence, you are farther ahead of 99% of the other people on planet earth because your mind is gaining a glimpse at the power in this generalized principle. People who are employing ephemeralization in their lives are getting richer and unfortunately those who are not, often hard working people, are getting poorer.

LAG Lag is simply a difference in time. For example, across a field, the time it takes the ball to leave reach the other side of the

field

is

lag.

Lag

is

if

I

throw a

ball

my hand and

a very important

generalized principle.

have

example, the technology. New ideas become products and appear in the marketplace one day, and seemingly the next day they are copied, improved and marketed by someone else. Different industries

different lag times. For

industry with the shortest lag time

is

Some people are extremely slow Some people adapt quickly. In their book,

People have different lag times. to

adapt

to

new

ideas.

Revolutionary Wealth thought leaders Alvin and Heidi Toffler describe the world today through the eyes of a motorcycle cop, standing along side a freeway, clocking the speed of nine different cars, nine different groups: •

The

first

car, the fastest group,

speeding along at a hundred

miles per hour, are entrepreneurs •

and

businesses.

The second car, running at 90 miles per hour, are NGO's, (non-governmental organizations). The Toflers describe this car as one packed with circus clowns, pro-business and anti-

104

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business groups, professional organizations, Catholic orders,

Buddhist nunneries,

like

my sister's,

organizations, cults, tax haters,

manufacturing

whale

lovers,

and everyone

in

between. •

the third car, cruising along at 60 miles per hour, they put the American family because what we once knew as the typical American family is rare today. Family formats, frequency of divorce, sexual activity, intergenerational relationships, dating patterns, child rearing, and other In

dimensions of family

life

continue to change rapidly.

•

The fourth car, at 30 miles per hour, are labor unions.

•

The fifth car, at twenty-five miles per hour, are government bureaucracies and regulatory agencies.

•

The

sixth

car at ten miles per hour,

is

the American school

system. •

The seventh car, at five miles per hour, are international intergovernmental agencies such as the IMF (International Monetary Fund) and the WTO (World Trade Organization).

•

The eighth car, at three miles per hour, are the political structures of rich countries, such as the U.S. Congress, The White House, and political parties.

•

The ninth and slowest car, at one mile per hour, is the law lawyers, law schools, bar associations, and law firms. While many lawyers and law firms are changing more rapidly, the law is not. One of the reasons for the sub-prime credit melt down is because the law and organizations such as the SEC (the Securities and Exchange Commission) cannot keep up with financial entrepreneurs traveling at one hundred miles

an

hour.

When studied with Dr. Fuller, he said the two slowest industries were education and construction. He said their lag time, the delay from when a new idea appears until when the industry adapts the idea is fifty years. Now you know the reason why do I

I

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RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

not target schools for financial education. The lag time for that industry is just too slow. Possibly by 2030, there will be financial education in our schools, but I'm not patient enough to wait that long. In

1

927, Dr. Fuller predicted there

new homes

80 years.

in

In

would be demand

2007, eighty years after

his

for

two

billion

prediction,

commodity prices were skyrocketing as billions of people in Asia, South America, Eastern Europe, and the Middle East wanted Western style homes. Dr. Fuller

is

employed

known

as a

futurist.

Two generalized

principles

he

to accurately predict the future are the principles of

ephemeralization and lag. One of the ways make a lot of money is by using these generalized principles to guide my business and investment strategies. I

today

In 983, during my last class with him, he predicted that a new technology would appear before the end of the decade. He also predicted that the world's superpowers would begin to fade and lose their domination because of this new technology. Dr. Fuller died on July 983 and in 989, the world-wide-web came up as 1

1

the Berlin Wall

,

1

1

came down.

He could see the

future

and

trusted

in

understood the generalized principles universe

—a.k.a. God's principles.

!()(>

God

simply

because he

—the operating principles of

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

TENZINS RICH SISTER PRINCIPLES

Chapter 10

TENZIN'S STORY:

Robert said Buckminster Fuller estimated there are several hundred generalized principles. In Buddhism, we have eighty-four thousand teachings, and that's just to combat delusions! My teacher says, "Just as we have many medicines for many sicknesses, so we have these eighty-four thousand teachings for gross and subtle delusions." But we have other teachings on metaphysics, ethics and words of the Buddha too. The Buddha lived and taught for a full 45 years after his enlightenment, so there are many volumes to have devoted my life to study and practice but his teachings. have really yet only scratched the surface. I

Of the

many teachings

foundational

They are as

in

Buddhism, these are the ones that are

and have played an important

role in

my

life.

follows:

EVERYTHING

IS

IMPERMANENT

Our life, homes, possessions, families, and all other relationships are impermanent. Mother earth and all the planets and stars are impermanent. Years ago we would drive visitors along the coast outside Hilo to see Onomea Arch. was a large, beautiful natural land arch that stretched into the ocean. Waves would roll in and crash about it onto the rocky shore, and had done so for probably It

millennia.

One sunny day, an

artist

was by the shore

collapsed before her very eyes. to everything,

sometimes

in

painting the arch

and

it

Change such

sudden

as this is happening ways, but otherwise in

constant imperceptible disintegration. All those things and hold dear will eventually be separated from us.

we

cling to

Even our precious lives are heading to eventual demise. Many people don't like to think about things like this. In my hospital

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RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

chaplaincy,

I

sometimes encounter people who are not only a result of their illnesses, are depressed too.

physically sick, but as

mental state makes recovery more painful physically, and spiritually. But reminding ourselves that everything is impermanent not only helps us understand that our time together is limited, but that we have the power to direct our lives to make the best use of this time. We can develop loving relationships and work to benefit others. Now, the present, is the best opportunity we have to take advantage of this human life. We have the capacity to change even ingrained negative habits because they are impermanent, too; we are not stuck permanently in any situation. This

emotionally

It's

funny to think that while

we want

long

lives,

but

we

don't want

a contradiction. share with people that we are fortunate when we have the privilege of growing old. Long life and old age is good fortune when we use our lives to accomplish goals toward betterment for ourselves and others. When we accept that growing old is a normal part of life, our minds are peaceful and content as we age. We develop better relationships with others and have greater purpose and meaning in life, rather than spending time rejecting or fighting the normal aging process. to get old. That's

I

because we were born, we must die; it is a natural course we all face. Sometimes when death is imminent, people think they and their loved ones are being punished. But regardless of how well or poorly we live our lives, we face death every one Simply put,

—

of us;

it is

a part of

life.

When we're

in distress about situations and feel things will never change, impermanence can be quite comforting. Most everyone has had a dead-end job or a relationship going nowhere, or person we care about on a bad course. It's natural to feel stuck. Notice that when we love something or someone, we never want to change, but when we feel stuck, time stands still. We would give anything for a little change sooner than later. Well, impermanence says everything is in constant change. it

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RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

And

best of

all

—most exciting of —change provides us with all

achieve your dreams and to accomplish great things with your life. So rather than attaching your perception of things like a poor self-image or how self with what is past every

possibility to

—

someone mistreated affect your future.

jealousy of others

you, look at your potential

and take action

to

we can purify even one of our hang ups like or in my case avoidance of conflict, then we If

could act directly and powerfully.

People grieve at

their situation in

life

for things that

are

lost

or could

have been. we understand that everything is impermanent, we can focus on what we can do, rather than grieve about what is gone. Impermanence means we have the power to change our futures. This pushes us from reticence toward doing something amazing with our lives. How exciting that prospect! If

COMPASSION is a huge, dynamic force in life. Developing compassion created a sea of change in Buddhist practices; to love and care for others so deeply that we put them before ourselves causes a change in our inner experience and our relationship to everyone and the world around us.

This

Mom wanted so much for us

is that we would no matter who, and she exemplified her wish. Our growing years on the isolated island was a safer time, Mom would help everyone she could; give occasional rides to beggars and strangers, meet the visitors to our island and bring

One

of the things

love

and care

them home

for others,

to dinner.

Mom was always

helping, volunteering

on committees and

joining

time she quietly mentioned to me that it was difficult at moments to be a nurse of Japanese ancestry helping in hospitals after the World War Pearl Harbor attack in Hawaii. To care for men who were hurt but viewed her and all Japanese people as a hated, suspicious enemy back then must have been a challenging, polarized atmosphere. Still her friendly, in

events

in

town.

One

II

engaging

style

was a

natural part of her professional

109

life.

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

But

Mom

had a

everyone else, she much. When the door closed to the world, person very hard on herself and hard on us.

painful flaw: while she loved

didn't love herself very

she was a different Many Buddhist teachings start with imagining loving all beings as you have your mother and father. have worked with her as the focal point in my practice long and hard, and it was not easy. I

Now that am older understand her better and have compassion her in her own life struggle. We need and deserve love. think we all have high expectations of our parents, but when put my relationship with my mother in the light of "given the circumstances, she did the best she could," my heart can embrace her and even move me to tears. I

I

for

I

I

While each of us wants to be loved and oftentimes feel we don't get enough of it, we rarely think about being more loving to others. As we develop more openness and receptivity, we lessen our sense of isolation or self-centeredness. In addition, the more we offer others our love and interest, the more receptive we become to their generosity

and

their gestures of kindness.

Wherever His Holiness the Dalai Lama goes, he says it is like meeting his old friends. It's so true. feel that from him and am drawn to his warm friendship. My teachers often say we need to develop an equal love for all beings: friends, enemies and strangers. Think about if we had that kind of love, then we would be happy to be with everyone we met, not full of bias, impatience, hidden agendas or harm. I

I

it,

Compassion is different than love. Compassion is wishing others to be free from suffering and love is wishing others to have happiness. Develop both and your life will never be the same. Dr. Fuller understands this too. He said, "The more people serve, the more effective become." I

I

DEPENDENT ARISING OR INTERCONNECTEDNESS teaching says that nothing occurs by itself and everything dependence upon something else. We are all interconnected. The more deeply we understand this, the more

This

exists in

I

to

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

all life experience brings. The parallel with Dr. Fuller's teaching of "precession" is striking; many of Dr. Fuller's principles connect with this particular Buddhist teaching. Understand though, this view is not the psychological concept of

information

dependency,

or

co-dependency.

It's true that "nothing occurs on its own" defines our universe. It applies to interpersonal relationships and to the forces of nature. classic Buddhist example is of a sprout arising from a seed that

A

matures with the right amounts of soil, water and sun. Remove or overuse one element, and the seed may never become a sprout.

Dependent arising even provides an explanation for my low bank account! Being poor was in every way the product of the beliefs formed in my early upbringing, the decisions made throughout my life and my own perceptions of wealth and self worth. I'm not

I

I

making excuses, but external It

I

am saying

that

many things —internal and

—contribute to our current state of

took getting cancer to

wake me up

affairs.

to the reality that

but even

money

is

the basics like health and wellness. It showed how my physical life constantly informs my emotional, mental and spiritual life. What do not pay attention to is going to manifest one way or another. useful not just for the nice things in

life,

for

I

my

call was cancer, shouldn't have needed a got one anyway. My second wake up call was heart disease in 2007. had been working hard planning a visit by The Dalai Lama to the United States and enjoying every minute of The hard part, it; this work and the teachings filled me with energy. as with most work of this sort, were the pressures of dealing with people, juggling tough contracts and deadlines. Conflict situations being my handicap, internalized a lot of frustrations, upset and unresolved communications. After all, a nun should not be feeling these things! If

first

wake up

second one.

I

I

I

I

years of it actually, along with perhaps a genetic bias toward heart disease landed me in the hospital for angioplasty with only modest insurance and no savings. The hospital bills Stress,

in

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

amounted

to

wrestling with Reality

and

over $50,000. my insurance

financial

Being Robert's life

and a way

sister

needs

gave

of thinking

Working with Robert on

owed $20,000 after months of company to pay the other $30,000. I

hit

me

again.

me a natural window to view a way of completely different from my own.

this

book and

participating

in his

presentations and company meetings allowed me to change habitual view of money. Persons of the cloth have their own diverse patterns and beliefs about money and wealth, just as

people

can

in

Robert's world

co-exist

and

have

theirs.

I

see

now how the two

my

worlds

benefit others.

Have you ever found yourself thinking, "How was born into this Sometimes when people find out that Robert is my brother they ask, "Why aren't you like him? Aren't you rich too?" We all know how different family members can be. is remarkable to think how our same roots and upbringing propelled us into such different directions; Robert toward financial wealth, freedom and happiness, and me toward inner freedom and happiness. I

family?"

It

and a reconnection with my brother are what took for me change my mental attitude about money and the importance of conflict resolution. is a beautiful example of interconnectedness. Even though live a simple life, needed to find a way to help myself. Otherwise, what good am to others? Robert and Kim, helped me with my medical bills, but they are not giving me money. Rather, they are giving me knowledge so can help myself and better serve others. Illness

it

to

It

I

I

I

I

KARMA Many

westerners use the word karma

in

everyday conversation.

Perhaps you've heard comments like, "Oh, he had bad karma," or "You're going to get some great karma from doing that." It's as if karma is a reward or retribution for doing something good or bad.

Karma actually means action and interestingly, it's not just about what you do— your physical actions— it's more about your motivation

and

attitude driving the action. Ethics

112

and

intention

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

determine if a karma is virtuous or not; that's dramatically different than reward and retribution. I'm saying is actions from the past determine and inform our present experiences. Our motivations and actions now determine future results including our tendency toward doing certain actions over and over again.

What

Even though was doing work to benefit others, was sometimes of conflict. Not resolving that conflict affected my relationships and health. It didn't matter that was a vegetarian with a I

I

full

I

meditative

lifestyle.

commonly

affects

How's that

for

I

got heart disease, an

that

more

I

now know that because this my life, have to watch not to I

have been challenging, but corrections

in

I

the

is

fall

I

me to make

illness

people like my high-stress, steak-loving brother. a shock? had to make changes.

also

my

way have operated most of My illnesses I

into old patterns.

have great teachers

that help

life.

teachings inform us that challenging. Most want things, answers and results right now, that is, unless they are negative. During a course attended led by The Dalai Lama, an American woman asked, "What is the quickest, easiest, most convenient thing could do so can reach enlightenment right Just as Dr. Fuller talks of "Lag," Buddhist

karma

is

not instant. Westerners find

this

I

I

I

away?" The Dalai

Lama wept. He

said that so

many people want

things

we need

experience, compassion and wisdom to attain enlightenment. The process, the transformation that occurs through repeated practice and insight is indispensable instantly.

But

to that goal.

in

fact,

And

there's

no rushing

it.

want my life to go in a certain direction to have certain results, have to direct my intentions and actions. But that alone is not enough. also must become better informed and gain skills to If

I

I

attain

my

goals.

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I

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

The Tibetans say, "If you want to know where you came from, look at your life and experience now. If you want to know where you are going, look at your mind."

me when quoted

this saying keep getting too not theory but is causality, the building block of our life experience and who we are. While there are many wealthy and famous people in the world, observe Robert and Kim having built their wealth through hard work and study, working on themselves, not giving up, building up great friendships and connections, learning through their experiences, and teaching others. They also are generous and give back to help organizations and their community. All these actions build strength and conditions for future success.

Robert chided

deep

into theory.

I

Karma

itself

I

is

I

You

will

find Buddhist

masters saying that a karmic act, because of

the complexity and subtlety of other actions and motivations involved, is more difficult to fully comprehend than some of the

most profound views. Simply said, good karma, not harming others produces happiness and negative karma produces

or ourselves suffering.

NIRVANA The word Nirvana, like karma, has made its way to Western vocabularies. People use it interchangeably with the word heaven or even utopia. Sometimes living in India and spending time in study and meditation at my nunnery, I'd be so happy that

was nothing else wanted. Some people visit India to study but run away in horror, afraid of bugs, disease and filth. While have not experienced Nirvana, have experienced deep

there

I

I

I

contentment and

satisfaction

in

my

life.

concept of Nirvana has a deeper meaning of "freedom from suffering and delusions." Nirvana is a mental state, not a physical place. is seeing things as they are, without the filters of attachment, aversion and ignorance. But the Buddhist

It

His Holiness

possible,

the Dalai Lama says that if liberation from suffering is should do everything we can to accomplish that and

we

114

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER in fact, liberation was totally why not forget about effort and live some scent of liberation, freedom from

leave no stone unturned.

If,

impossible, then he says, But as long as there

then

suffering,

Enlightenment purifying

all

we is

is

should work to attain

greater than Nirvana;

up?

this.

it is

a state attained by

delusions such as hatred, anger, jealousy,

ignorance and completely cultivating

it

all

and

excellent qualities, such

as loving-kindness, generosity, ethics and compassion, as well as gaining complete understanding of the nature of reality.

beings have the potential to attain Nirvana and enlightenment. freedom and enlightenment are not just for monks or nuns. My experiences with many of the Tibetan people in India bears witness to this. Here is an entire civilization of people who have lost their country, their homes, and their temples. They were exiled to India only with what they could carry over the Himalayas. Many live a very meager life; yet, they are happy. Fortified by many excellent teachers and practitioners, these people have great strength and direction. Rather than be defeated they are buoyant in their determination to live in freedom, help themselves and build their communities. This strength is observed in people across cultures, who do not let obstacles or troubles in their lives stop them, who have great conviction in their faiths or ethical practice and are strengthened with determination and endurance

All

Liberation,

to

accomplish

their goals.

If we all possess the potential to attain enlightenment, then we all should have the courage to face life's circumstances, to drive away our feelings of discouragement and low self esteem those things that prevent us from Nirvana. This knowledge can become a powerful inner source for all of us to develop greater tolerance and determination in working with others.

—

path of practice as a Buddhist nun has filled my life with purpose, direction and peace of mind. While every organized

This

spiritual tradition

may have

its

limitations

and

fall

into

dogma,

this

path has been ideal for me. must be mindful and make the best progress can. Meditation gives me perspective and insight I

I

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regarding the nature of situations and conditions in life. Rather than galvanize myself against life problems, allow more openness I

and acceptance

my

life

of others

and

their differences.

to practicing these principles

along with

they act as both a guide and ballast

16

for

I

have dedicated

many others and

me in life.

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

Chapter

11

LIFE

AND DEATH

ROBERT'S STORY:

War was

boring. Sitting

on an

aircraft carrier at

cruise ship vacation filled with activities to

sea

is

not exactly a

keep the passengers

entertained. There were no big buffets, cabaret shows, or bars filled with happy drunks. During the Vietnam era there were no women at sea, as there is now. Our ships were filled with

thousands of young men, writing letters home, waiting for something to happen. Most of the time, our flotilla of seven ships, sailed back and forth, up on down the coast of Vietnam. On one

day Vietnam would be day off to port.

off to

starboard, to the

right,

and

the next

The grunts, ground marines, spent much of their days jogging laps around the flight deck, cleaning their weapons, or sleeping. Marine flight crews and navy personnel tended to exercise in the late afternoon after things had cooled down. We were not as gung-ho as the grunts. This self-imposed timetable helped keep the different groups apart and the fights to a minimum. Even though we were all on the same side, there were always the few who would find a reason to blow off steam and fight, pitting one group against the other. There were fights between sailors and Marines or Marine grunts and air wing Marines. Sitting in cramped quarters far below the flight deck was a breeding ground for dysfunctional behavior.

Pilots

and

flight

crew had an advantage-we flew

ashore at least once or twice a week. For thousands of young men stuck on board the ships for months on end, life was cramped, crowded, and confining, for both sailors and Marines,

were a number of incidents where one group would go beyond simple fist fights to blow off steam. Rather than stand up and fight man to man, a few individuals would commit acts of treason, overtly sabotaging another's efforts even endangering others' lives. In one instance, someone pumped seawater into an aircraft fuel tank destroying the entire aircraft. There were a number of other times when my crew found our

Tragically, there

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RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

aircraft's rigging cut,

engine hoses disconnected, or rags and tools We knew this was not the work of

stuffed into parts of the engine.

any of our own crew because all of our crewmembers flew with the aircraft. That would have been suicide. We also knew it could not be enemy sabotage. Being over twenty miles out at sea, it would have been tough for a Vietcong to paddle up to a large aircraft carrier, climb on board, and stuff a wrench down the jet engine intake. After repeated incidents of sabotage, my crew took turns guarding our four gunships, 24/7. Not just anyone on board our carrier could get close to our helicopters, even though we were all Americans and all supposedly fighting for the same side. In Sunday school learned about Judas betraying Jesus. It seems the practice of betrayal or treason is a part of human behavior. Spouses betray their partners, business associates steal from each other, people lie to protect themselves, gossip destroys reputations, and the Internet is filled with blogs dedicated to destroying others. The ability to betray others is a dark potent force available to all of us. I

I

crashed

None

my

helicopter three times during

my year in

enemy

Vietnam.

Two crashes were due to aircraft fatigue. Once a tail rotor failed and the other a hydraulics line failed. Luckily we made back to the ship as we crashed. Twice we were able to repair the damage and save the aircraft. The most serious of three crashes was due to sabotage. On that day, our entire squadron was participating in a combined forces strike north of Da Nang. Early in the morning, before the sun came up, my gunship was brought up on the elevator from below deck and we prepared to launch. The two gunners, one crew chief, co-pilot Lt. Ted Green and immediately went through our of these incidents

were due

to

action.

it

I

pre-flight inspection.

caught a glimpse

of

Gazing into the intake of the jet engine, something protruding from between one of I

it was still dark, took my flashlight and engine. Soon my fingers found the object and began tugging. pulled out a small oily rag. Shock went through my body, my stomach tightened and my skin crawled.

the turbine blades. Since

peered deep

I

into the

I

I

I

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knew someone had gotten past our defenses. Immediately, ordered the entire aircraft reopened for a closer inspection. The crew soon discovered a wrench, and some thin wire stuffed into other obscure parts of the engine. I

"Have "I

we

hope

"Hope Just

found

it

all?"

so," replied our

is

I

asked.

crew

good enough,"

not

chief.

said the gunner.

then the ship's loudspeaker blared, "Ten minutes to launch Gunship on spot three, are you going to launch or are you

time.

down? looked each other

the eyes, searching for any saying, "Let's go," and began buttoning up the aircraft. The engine started without a hitch and soon we were flying a racetrack pattern over the carrier, waiting for the troop-carrying helicopters to load troops, launch and join the attack. Although the aircraft seemed to be running perfectly we remained edgy and nervous, constantly checking

The

five of us

All five

gauges and

flight controls.

of us

Suddenly, out of the corner of

gauges

flicker.

particular

In flight

gauge

in

nodded our heads

uncertainty.

school,

my eye, saw one of the engine we were taught that this

flickered, there

I

if

was something wrong

with the

engine. Before could say anything to my crew, the aircraft shuddered, the engine surged, quit, surged again, and then quit for good. Warning alarms blared and engine failure lights began flashing. With power gone, the aircraft immediately began falling from the sky. "Mayday, mayday, mayday," Lt. Green broadcasted as he pushed the nose of the aircraft into a steep dive. The crew clung to the aircraft and began jettisoning guns, I

ammo, and

anything loose out the doors.

recalled In a steep dive, watching the ocean coming up at us, that phrase from flight school, "You look into the eyes of death." I

knew what death's eyes looked like. Silently wondered was my last moment on earth. Even though there was a lot of

That day, if

this

I

I

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RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

noise

around

aircraft to

us,

watch

noise from the ship's control tower warning for us, the radio transmissions

all

from the battlefield,

and the noise of our crew preparing to crash, an eerie silence filled the aircraft. Silently, wondered if the ocean, the sounds of a dying aircraft, and the faces of my crew would be my last memory I

of

my

last

few moments on earth.

made peace with myself. knew might In the midst of chaos, was to die, would be okay with my life? In soon be dead and about five seconds, found peace when reminded myself that had chosen this life. had volunteered for this. No one forced me to join the Marines. knew when volunteered to fight that might not come back alive. So was fine with my life. the sight through I

if

I

I

I

I

I

I

I

I

I

I

I

If

I

the cockpit window was to be the last pictures of my life's movie, with my movie and was okay with how the movie would I

was okay

I

end.

The

was in a stable auto-rotation as we dove towards the Green was flying the dying aircraft as shouted the preparing for the crash. Ted Greene was a great pilot

aircraft

water.

Lt.

checklist

I

and was doing a magical job guiding the aircraft towards the He was doing his best to go in as close to the carrier as possible. was making sure the checklist was followed, doors were jettisoned, aircraft was empty, electrical power off, and the crew was now strapped in. Ted Green and had practiced this drill for years, practicing the emergency procedure for engine failure nearly everyday, over and over again. got to the point that we could fly with or without an engine. On that day, practice was over and we would soon know our practice would pay off. We water.

I

I

It

if

were functioning as a team,

terrified

but not panicked.

before impacting the water, Ted Green rotated the nose and we gliding silently a few feet above the waves below. It was a perfect autorotation flying on momentum. Everything was going perfectly as finished the checklist and told everyone to brace for the impact. Then a large ocean swell hit the glass bubble as jade green water swirled around my feet. Flying stopped and we immediately began to sink as the aircraft lurched and fought against the forces of the sea, finally tipping to

Just

instead of crashing,

I

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left as the rotor blade struck the water at high speed, tearing the transmission and ripping the aircraft in half. Soon was under water, struggling to breathe as tried to climb out of aircraft,

the off

I

I

now die by

drowning. Struggling to break free, my clothing might be caught and would be dragged down with the rapidly sinking aircraft. Today, can still see the swirling green water, the aircraft cockpit underwater, and the sounds of water, bubbles, and small explosions as kicked and clawed desperately to get back to the that

terrified

might

I

my concern was

that a piece of

I

I

I

surface.

through the surface, took a deep breath of air and for joy. Treading water, the first thing noticed was the water around the aircraft boiling and steaming as it came in contact with the jet engine. Next, saw my two-crew gunners floating above the frothy and steaming water. Again, cheered for joy and yelled, "Are you all right?" Both were stunned yet Bursting

I

screamed

I

I

I

managed a

smile

and

"Where's Jackson?"

I

signal

a thumbs up.

screamed. "Where's Green?"

Both young gunners shook their heads. They did not know. About seconds went by and still no sign of our co-pilot and crew chief. As the tail rotor, the last visible piece of the aircraft slid beneath the waves, gunnery sergeant Jackson broke the surface and the three of us cheered like we have never cheered before.

thirty

down there," gasped Jackson. "He can't get out of He never got his door off." Then that sinking feeling. couldn't help him. He was so busy flying, saving us, he forgot to "Green

his

is still

seat.

save

I

himself.

not possible to fully describe what was feeling at this moment. could have gone down to pull Green out, would have, but the environmental forces of that moment were beyond my human abilities. The aircraft was sinking fast and was in steel-toed flight It

is

If

I

I

I

I

boots, a

flight suit

with

an

inflated survival vest to

keep

me

afloat.

Even though am a pretty good diver, was dressed to be a not a diver. In the time it would have taken to get my boots, I

I

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pilot flight

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

suit,

and

flotation

equipment off, would be all over. At same one of my best friends a few feet underwater it

time, the thought of

struggling to free himself, feeling powerless to help

was

overwhelming, the excruciating pain of feeling helpless. "How powerless over life are we?" was a question running through my head? If could have traded positions with Ted would have. I

I

Ted Green and had gone through I

school

flight

in

Florida together.

were thrilled to be selected for the gunship program and to be sent to Camp Pendleton, California, for advanced training and transition. As soon as we completed our guns and rockets training, we were immediately sent to Vietnam together. Memories of our three years came back to me as treaded water, praying for a miracle. For what seemed an eternity, all we could do was stare at the boiling steaming water where our aircraft went down hoping for the impossible. The empty silence was deafening. After receiving our wings,

I

Suddenly, Ted burst to the surface, gasping and gagging as he took long breaths of air. It was the miracle we prayed for. The crew immediately surrounded him, assisting him in throwing up the water from his lungs and supporting him to stay afloat. He needed time to get his life back. "I thought was dead," were his first words as I

grown men hugged, cried, cheered, and celebrated life. Even though we had crashed close to the ship, the overall combat mission was more important than one aircrew in the water. was about four hours before we were finally pulled from the water and back onboard the carrier. five

It

About two months after the crash, came close to killing the young boy with the soccer ball took place. First faced death at sea and now was about to cause a death on land. was tired of death and killing. My career as a Marine was over. did not want to kill or dedicate my life to killing anymore. Something inside of me was I

I

I

I

I

changing. Often,

we do

nearly lose

experience

it.

not

fully

appreciate something

for

me.

It

until

we

lose

it

or

and killing was a powerful gave me a deep appreciation for this

Being so close to dying

122

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

precious gift called life and amazingly, dying found could begin to live.

once had I

lost

my

fear of

I

I

living with a fear of death, do my best to live life believe that one of the reasons do not succumb to the fears of job security, fear of failing, fear of criticism, and fear of not having enough money is because to me, those fears are not worth my time. They don't even come close to being near death choose to live life with excitement, in a watery grave. Today, gratitude, and give back in exchange for this gift known as life.

Today, instead of

and

really live.

I

I

I

I

When was in Sunday school learned about the crucifixion and the resurrection. In Vietnam learned we did not have to die to be resurrected. One of the great things about war was that it did put me face to face with death. While it is normal to fear death, it is also important to know that death is a transition, and there is a resurrection, a transformation, an evolution, a reformation, if we I

I

I

choose

to see

it

that way.

It's

empowering.

why don't see eye-to-eye with some of the churches have attended that preach the literal interpretation of the resurrection message. They teach that there was only one type of resurrection or salvation and that was the final one that happened at death with an ascension into heaven. Resurrection was only possible

That's

I

I

after physical death.

Not so to me. realized that life itself is a daily process of birth, death, resurrection, and evolution or reformation. After Vietnam also realized that did not have to sit in a church to get the message. The message is all around us, everyday, no matter where we are. In war, found life in death. I

I

I

Today, meet many people who are living in fear of dying rather than in the joy of living. Many cling to job security, inadequate pay, abusive relationships, and live below their means, in poor health, and facing other challenges that seem insurmountable. my opinion, many live in fear of some form of crucifixion, not realizing that their fear is already crucifying them. Living in fear, living below one's full potential, is a form of crucifixion. To get I

123

In

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

beyond crucifixion, takes faith that there is always a resurrection, an evolution, and a reformation so long as we are open to it. it

When

my first

big business, was crucified. The Hawaii was not kind; they went after me like sharks. Bill collectors hounded me. Some of my friends stopped being my friends. My first wife filed for divorce. My Harley-Davidson was repossessed. My credit cards were taken away. had no real estate left. sold my Porsche because could not make the payments. took the bus, rode a bicycle, or walked. did not know how or when was going to get back to life again, but knew would. From Vietnam, understood the message of life after death. From church, understood crucifixion and I

lost

I

business press

I

I

I

I

I

I

I

I

I

I

resurrection.

I

also understood evolution, not from the Biblical or

Darwinian sense but from a financial historical sense. knew that most successful entrepreneurs failed before they ever succeeded, that it took crucifixion before they rose again I

never understood faith-based messages that profess you don't to do anything for salvation. All you have to do is be a good person, attend church, pray, and put money in the offering plate. Do that and God will solve your problems. know that miracles happen first hand, might add and that just sitting and praying works for some people, but personally, would rather be a little bit I've

have

I

—

—

I

I

more

pro-active.

Sunday school lesson, "God helps those who In my life have found that the more help others and myself, the more miracles have in my life. The Marine Corps instilled in me the value of willingly giving my life for a higher purpose. That is why Ted Green nearly died. He thought of his crew before he thought of himself. know many people talk about giving their life to a higher purpose, but talking about giving connect with the help themselves." I

I

I

I

I

it

very different than actually giving

is

it.

we do not appreciate what we have close to losing it. did not truly appreciate my rich dad's advice until lost everything. did not appreciate the love of my first wife until lost her. did not appreciate my

As stated until

we

earlier,

lose

it

or

many come

times

I

I

I

I

I

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RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

freedom of

until

life until

I

The crash put

who

I

willingly

went

nearly

nearly

me

lost

my

to

jail.

And

I

did not appreciate the

gif

i

life.

face-to-face, in the to give his

was prepared

pit of life

my gut with someone

so others could

live.

The

the young boy profoundly changed my life by giving me a deeper appreciation for the gift of life. Yet, am against killing. My samurai heritage still runs in my veins, but today would rather use that heritage to fight to give life rather than take

crash

and

nearly

killing

I

I

it.

something is lost, or something bad happens, often hear people ask, "Why do bad things happen to good people?"

After

I

I

"Good and bad are meaningless." now know that all things, good or bad are blessings. For example, crashing in the ocean gave me life. Going broke made me rich. Losing my first wife makes me a better husband to Kim. Getting fat follow Dr. Fuller's idea that

makes

me

at

and then me

fifty

obese at

I

a healthier person today. at

sixty,

I

am

If

you look at pictures of me because was

healthier at sixty

I

fifty.

Our lives are continual crucifixions, resurrections, evolutions, and reformations and each of these is as vital to life as food, water, sun, and exercise. If one of the four is missing, the existence is incomplete. For example, not being able to breathe and thinking was having a heart attack was my crucifixion and my blessing. I

knowledge, and discipline was my exercise were not enough. had to evolve from a fat person to a healthy person on the inside, too. did not evolve, it wouldn't be long before became an obese person again. My evolution from fat person, which had been for most of my life, to a healthy person required a reformation, a changing of my rules. In other words, was fat because was breaking the rules of my body. was unethical and immoral to

Changing my

diet, exercise,

resurrection. But just diet

and

I

If

I

I

I

I

I

myself.

When people

say,

"I

found

the discipline to follow the weight and gain it back is

religion," to rules.

One

me

that

means they found

of the reasons

I

because never found the I

125

would

lose

religion of

I

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

cheat or pretend the rules of my body did not matter. near heart attack was my crucifixion, my wake up call, which led to my choice to choose a resurrection. The same idea of finding religion was essential to becoming a wealthy person. had to follow the rules. In my marriage to Kim, definitely want to follow the rules. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me. health. I'd

My

I

I

Evolution and reformation are essential to the process of finding heaven on earth. Those of us who are old enough may recall The Beverly Hillbillies. was a TV program about a poor mountain man who struck oil and then packed up the family and moved to Beverly Hills. Even though Jeb may have been wealthy and living in a wealthy neighborhood, he was still a poor hillbilly, and that was the source of the program's humor. He may have been It

resurrected from his crucifixion of poverty but he did not evolve or reform into a rich man. He remained a poor man with a lot of money. He did not evolve or go through a reformation of life,

which requires mental, physical, emotional, and

spiritual

transformation.

Many people move out of poverty but bring their poverty with them. For example, many immigrants move from their homeland and join other refugees from the same homeland. This is one reason why most big cities have ethnic communities as well as ethnic gangs. When was preparing to leave high school to go to college, many people advised me to attend school in California, Washington, or Oregon. When asked why, their reply was, "Schools in those states have strong Hawaiian clubs." As much as love Hawaii, its people, and its culture, was leaving Hawaii to evolve and reform my life. This is another reason why chose a school in New York, and made sure it did not have a Hawaiian club. had stayed close to my Hawaiian culture, doubt if would have New York friends such as Donald Trump or Steve Forbes. would not understand their world. had to evolve and reform wanted to have New York friends as well as Hawaiian friends. I

I

I

I

I

I

If

I

I

I

I

if

I

I

have a great marriage today because was a horrible husband my first marriage. had not gone through a personal evolution and reformation, know Kim would not have married me. When I

I

in

If

I

I

126

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

we were

first

dating,

I

knew loved Kim but I

I

still

wanted

to fool

Once realized was doing the same things to Kim that had done to my first wife Janet, immediately confessed and told

around.

I

I

I

I

Kim the truth about other affairs. Although hurt and disappointed, she gently said, "You know will not stand for that type of behavior. have not betrayed her trust. will not marry a man who cheats." do not want to lose her respect or her love. know would not have such a great soul mate if still had a corrupt soul.

I

I

I

I

I

I

Marriage and entrepreneurship are very similar when it comes to legal, ethical, moral, and spiritual rules. As you know, in business, there are many crooks, liars, fools, and thieves, just as there is in marriage. One of the great things about being an entrepreneur is that get to choose who want to do business with. Over the years, have had the blessings of doing business with some very smart crooks, liars, fools, and thieves. say they were blessings because they taught me business lessons would never have learned from a textbook. Every one of those crooks, liars, fools, and I

I

I

I

I

were showed me the crook, liar, fool, and thief in me. one of them, would not have been hanging out with them. am a stronger more honest businessman because know first hand the pain that comes from being a crook, liar, fool, and a thief. thieves

If

not

I

I

I

I

book wrote about character and character flaws. happy as want to be, focus on my character strengths and the character flaw that Earlier in this

Whenever

I

I

find myself not as successful, rich, or

I

I

comes often

when become successful Many character flaws are the same

with the strength. For example,

become

cocky.

character flaws addressed deadly sins: 1

in

church, also

Pride

2.

Greed

3.

Envy

4. Lust

5.

Gluttony

127

I

known

as the seven

I

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

6.

Rage

7.

Laziness

struggled with these sins, or flaws, ever since we If we do not evolve or reform, those flaws diminish our powers. When meet someone not living up to their full God-given potential, begin to look for the sin or sins that have not been resolved.

Humans have

became humans.

I

I

know still struggle with these seven deadly sins; am strong in all seven. invite you to go through the list of seven and see if you can recognize yourself in any of the seven. If you can't, you may want to apply for sainthood or to the "Sacred Order For The Holier Than Thou." It's a very popular club with many members. am sure you probably know a few charter members of this club. I

I

I

I

I

During one of his talks, listened as Dr. Fuller said, "We as humanity are starting to realize that killing everyone isn't making things better." As he spoke, my thoughts drifted back to the atomic blast witnessed, my experiences in Vietnam, spending 9/1 in a Muslim I

1

I

country,

and my

or

kill

be

killed

attitude

in

business.

I

thought about

people who hate in the name of God and kill in the name of God, which is no different from the Marine knew when was in the Corps who believed he was killing commies for Christ. I

I

began to realize that in line the more tried to kill my enemies the harder they fought to live. After facing death in Vietnam, began searching for another way to live. This search eventually led me back to the values of my parents, family and my church. finally heard what they were trying to tell me. Byl 981 had evolved and reformed enough to finally hear Dr. Fuller asking the question, "What would happen if we began working for everyone to live?" With that question, my evolution and reformation began. finally began to have unselfish goals and put them in front of my selfish ones. And instead of being an entrepreneur focusing only on making myself rich, began focusing on building a business that I

I

I

I

,

I

I

I

made everyone entrepreneurs

richer.

I

gained a

religion of sorts that

can understand. A higher

12X

calling that

is

many greater

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

than the tasks and the money. My calling is to make everyone richer and that is what do today. This is why believe have more good fortune and financial success today than did in my younger I

I

I

I

years.

I

call

them

miracles.

earlier, Dr. Fuller said, "the root word of the word emergency is the word emerge." Explaining further he would say, "It seems humans often do not emerge until there is an emergency." This is how God designed humans to evolve. Today am concerned about many problems facing the world, problems

As mentioned

such as global warming, famine, disease, nuclear power, deforestation, extinction of plants

oceans,

and racial have faith will

and

animals,

intolerance, terrorism, that out of the

and

of our greed, religious

killing

pollution, financial inequalities, excessive

war. At the

same

impending emergencies,

we

time,

as

I

humans

evolve.

Sometimes Thank you

it

seems we have

for

reading

this

to die before

book.

129

we can

begin to

live.

I

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

Chapter 12

Grace, Dying with Grace

Living with

TENZIN'S STORY:

My work as a with

and hospice chaplain

hospital

Beach, California and every day

who

I

am

me

in contact work in Long face-to-face with people

death more often than most people.

I

brings

currently

are dying. It seems gravitate to these situations, so in many ways am an expert on dying. Through it all, what have found is that people die the way that they live. I

I

I

Perhaps was meant I

dad

died.

I

was

for this

type of work.

when my

there

permanent impressions on

We

and peaceful

all

face the

was

when my

there

Their

deaths

left

a young adult and left me more spiritual pathways to peaceful

me as

resolute than ever to search for living

I

mom died.

dying.

final frontier of

have been studying and

old

age and death. As a

reflecting

on these subjects

for

Buddhist

I

some

However, now that am older, and especially after having faced serious illness, see how death and life are intertwined and how death is never too far from our daily lives, even though we kid ourselves that it is not. am keenly aware that have an ever time.

I

I

I

I

narrowing window of time to take advantage of this incredible and precious human life and to live my dream The Chinese view that Tibet has always been a part of China is a source of ongoing dispute to increase my ability to love and be compassionate to others.

the end this is what we really have. As important as our wealth, our friends, our family, even our doctors are to us during our lives, in the end they cannot help us. The only thing that can help in our In

hour is a peaceful mind. And from my observations as well as personal experience, graceful dying comes only from graceful living defined as a spiritual and ethical life, resolved of our inner

final

conflicts with ourselves

and our outer conflicts

Interestingly, living well

is

with others. the secret to dying well.

no

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

my work with

dying is not the kind ot subject matter great dinner conversation; most people would rather just avoid it. Robert faced death in Vietnam and saw his buddies die in horrible situations far from home. He says he is not afraid of death and maybe that's what gives him amazing fight and vibrancy everyday of his life. For me, facing the reality of my own death is part of my Buddhist practice. We are trained to contemplate how our bodies change over time, how we grow old. There is also the practice of considering that most of us alive today will not be alive one hundred years from now. However, do not need to think about death in such an abstract way because Robert says

that

makes

for

I

I

have

lost

so

many

friends

and

family

members.

death is a powerful time of life for all of us, a high emotional charge. Death has the potential to make everyone it touches wiser about life. am preparing for my death by leading a life grounded in Buddhist principles. You may wonder how that can be of any use at the time of death, especially you accept current scientific thinking that humans are without a consciousness or a spirit, and that all our thoughts and ideas come from only from chemical reactions and electrical responses in the brain. According to this view, when

The

and

final transition of it

usually carries

I

if

our brain dies, that's it. Nothing of the person continues. But my years of practice and study have convinced me that life does not

end

at death.

One evening

taught a class and read a poem by the Japanese Haiku poet Jakura, who passed away in 1906. He was part of a tradition in Japan of Zen monks, poets and samurais who composed short poems just before their death, to capture their thoughts and their states of mind at that crucial moment. Just before his death Jakura recited: "This year want to see the lotus on the other side." After a few moments' contemplation, a new student asked, "Does he mean, from under the dirt?" Our bodies will be "under the dirt" perhaps, but our consciousness, no longer supported by the body, separates from it and the other things of this life. It continues on sustaining the very subtle imprints and I

I

propensities of

a

life.

131

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

Some

recent scientific studies are beginning to support the Buddhist teaching that consciousness is different from the physical brain. Consciousness has the qualities of clarity and knowing. It is

not a material object and therefore is not subject to deterioration the body dies. At death this consciousness continues on, and in fact, according to the Buddhist view, it becomes the basis for a new body and a new life. This is one reason why do not accept the position that life is meaningless. Life is full of meaning and purpose. We are on a long journey toward ultimate happiness. The road we must follow is based on ethics, and an ethical life, generally speaking, is one that is focused on the happiness of others as well as our own happiness. Following an ethical lifestyle brings peace of mind, which can be helpful at the time of death.

when

I

and disciplined way of life is important even for not accept a separate consciousness or rebirth. Everyone wants to be happy, and we pursue that end in many different ways. Some believe happiness is found in money, fame, power and the other trappings of our 2 st century world. And true, as have learned from my own journey, it takes a basic level of wealth to maintain health and happiness, but money alone does not bring happiness, no matter the quantity. The pursuit of happiness without an ethical foundation is certain to change into the pursuit of unhappiness. Living

an

those

who do

ethical

1

I

and good

will toward others is the essential state of mind about happiness in this very life and is this mind that is the real human treasure, the true wealth. Of course, to develop we must first take care of our basic needs for healthy and conducive living conditions; but, once we have these things in place we can achieve whatever we put our mind to. This is the true way to put poverty behind us.

Ethics

that

will

bring

it

it

a function of being prepared and accepting all would all like to be prepared and accepting of death our own and the death of the ones we love. To me, whether we die with ease and grace or whether we die with emotional suffering depends upon our level of acceptance of Dying with grace

of

it.

Ultimately,

is

we

—

132

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

and preparation for death. While we cannot choose the way we die, we can choose how we die. We prepare for that by being mindful of

how we

live.

These are our choices:

Ways

We

Die

Prepared but Unaccepting

Accepting and Prepared

Unprepared and Unaccepting

Accepting but Unprepared

Unprepared and Unaccepting: The

Story of the

Death

of

a

Dilettante Friend

When was teaching at a Dharma center some years ago, a man who was about forty years old started attending my classes. He I

had fatally damaged his liver by drug and alcohol abuse. In fact, he was in hospice, but was stable enough to be released for a couple of hours to come to class. He enjoyed the meditations and the company of the students, and we all rallied to befriend him. We visited him in hospice, transported him to our classes and helped him with errands.

One day

the hospice doctors gave him some astonishing good news: His health was improving and he was getting better. Then they gave him the bad news: Of course, that meant he would have to leave hospice. At first he stayed with his brother and sisterin-law. When that became a problem, he found an apartment on his own. It wasn't very long after that he stopped attending our classes, and we lost track of him over the next few months. Later we discovered he had returned to drinking and carousing, and

was living a life that exacerbated his physical illness. He quickly succumbed to liver cirrhosis and was found dead in his apartment. While he was a model patient and sincere seeker at hospice, out

133

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER his own he returned to given a second chance.

on

his

old

way of

life

even though he was

seemed our friend had no faith in himself, and no understanding human potential. Without a positive view of self and the world, he was lost and confused, and then he lost hope. Some try It

of his

become

free from depression by turning to drugs or alcohol or other poisonous substance or activity. Perhaps they have no one to help them, or maybe they are unable to seek help when they need it. This social isolation is a serious problem for many people. Like my friend, they live their lives in a numbed state, one that has a kind of "spit in the eye of death" carelessness. But as is said in the Buddhist teachings, "Do not seek misery as a means to happiness." Even though our friend was interested in spiritual teachings he was not able to incorporate them into his life. Perhaps his habit of "seeking misery" was too strong. In any case, he seemed to sacrifice his life to escape from his problems rather than choosing to live and try to transform his suffering into a to

some

healthier

life.

Prepared but Unaccepting: The Story of Running from Death

Mom was a

faithful woman. She attended church and was active church, but even as children, we could tell her faith seemed to give her little relief from the deep, personal sorrows of her life. For

in

Mom

was unable to accept the medical diagnosis and prognosis of her heart condition. She went from doctor to doctor searching for a different answer simply unable to deal with the truth that her heart had been damaged years earlier from

example,

rheumatic fever. Her denial of the medical realities are common. attitude was portrayed by example in the eighth century writings of the famous Indian Buddhist saint Shantideva: "I lull myself by thinking that today, at least, will not die. But the time

This kind of

I

of I

my death

was

at

will

home

so quickly

arrive inevitably."

with

none

Mom when her heart finally failed

of us

even had a chance

134

to say

her.

She died

goodbye. She

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

was young, and was a complete shock. In retrospect, should not have been. Being a nurse, Mom knew more than the average person about her condition. Mom was prepared through her Christian faith to go to heaven, she just wasn't accepting that because of her condition, her time may be near. In our home there was little constructive communication about sickness and it

it

death, at least of the kind we could respond to. Mom in her own did communicate her condition to us, but she did so through unacceptance and as a result, her words were painful and pushed us away. We didn't know how to help her and when she died, that truth affected us all; we all loved her and wished we could have done more.

way

It's

when faced with serious health How do we cope? As a sick person, spouse, relative or friend, we can turn a deaf ear to the doctor and all the signs,

something to consider

conditions:

close

pretend the

illness

We can submerge

doesn't

exist

and hope the

situation

changes.

and cause we can find ways and

ourselves into the suffering of

it

all

and those around us. Or, people to help us through counseling and other coping skills. Mom was gripped by the suffering of serious sickness, and we didn't have proper tools to help her or ourselves. Moreover, being the stoic Japanese family, we did not seek help. Today we can misery to ourselves

and at libraries so we more than we ever could have known years ago. is constant research and advancement going on healthier longer, we still head toward the same end.

extensively research our ailments online

so much But while there

know

to help us live

Unaccepting and Unprepared: A Story

Challenge of Death

of the

When Dad became

sick with lung cancer in 990, was studying in once again, but my daughter Erika went to help him many times. Dad was struggling with his decline. He would become very upset, seemingly unable to accept his situation. Erika called me to say his condition was getting worse and that should return wanted to see him before he passed away. spent two weeks with Dad, the last two weeks of his life, and was a very difficult time. 1

1

India

I

I

it

135

if

I

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

Suffering

is

never easy to watch, particularly

much we can do and oxygen that

is

that

the result of

when

there

is

not

was the case with Dad. The lack of lung cancer causes suffocation, and

Dad was scared. During the course of his illness, the doctors removed one lung, and Dad received radiation treatments on his other lung which made breathing even harder. On one visit, the doctors told us he needed to return to the hospital because he wasn't getting enough oxygen from the portable tanks. Initially the oxygen tent at the hospital provided relief, and Dad relaxed a little bit. He asked me to bring Robert Frost's book of poems and wanted me to read "The Road Less Traveled" again and again. He gained a brief sense of peace and acceptance from that. Eventually his lung began to fail, and the oxygen infusion was at the highest they could administer. As his condition worsened Dad's breathing became more strained and he would get so agitated, the nurses had to tie his arms and legs down to

keep him from harming

himself or others.

He had a tube

in his

throat so he couldn't talk. In calmer moments, he wanted to write something to us. Being sedated and having his arms tied down, sadly he could only write illegible scribble. Not being able to hear or read his last words was terribly hard on him and us. What did he want to tell us? What words were left unsaid? He wanted desperately to communicate, so much so that even at the end, with family members around him, he fought against his dying, tossing in bed, until death overcame him. My sense is that he didn't want to die; he wanted to communicate his last words and was frustrated in the end.

On

death bed, Dad told me he wanted a Buddhist funeral. This me because as far as knew he was Christian all his life. At that moment, he said that when you become a Buddhist you go to a pure land. Simply say the name "Buddha" and you are reborn in the pure land, he told me. also came to realize this is a Japanese Buddhist belief, not Tibetan. his

was

surprising to

I

I

I

respected

active at

all

my

dad's request, but in Tibetan Buddhism, karma is and our actions— good or bad, pious or self

times,

136

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

—reflect our future.

My dad's declaration in his final days than the proclamations of people who say they are born again, but haven't yet demonstrated their renewed faith through actions. My brother would say my dad took a safe secure route all his life and expected to die with glory by uttering a single word. He would say he was never committed to the fight and therefore never lived his own religion. Robert loved Dad, but toward the end it was clear he did not respect him. My brother serving

was no

different

believes everything

Dad was

comes

at

not religious but he

a

price.

was a

philosophical

man. Twenty

years earlier, he had experienced devastating loss within a period of four months: the loss of the 1970 election and his future dreams with it, the passing of his father and wife, and the loss of employment. All of this was a tremendous shock coming as it did at middle-age and all at once. Although Dad read and studied and took care of so many people during his life, do not know how I

much

time he spent preparing himself death.

and

for

personal

loss,

sickness

With or without a spiritual path, difficulties come to us during our lives and it is these difficulties that can take a toll on us. The question is can we pick ourselves up and start again when our world has collapsed around us? Can we transform our problems so that we can rise out of devastation and turn our suffering into wisdom and compassion? Can we find and live our path? These are the essential questions that Buddhism addresses. In short, the answer is yes if we make an effort to use our intelligence and emotional strength to analyze our life, our situation, our behavior.

We

have

to

determine which problems

we

we can change, which

can't and move forward. quote Shantideva's amazing support, "If there is a remedy when trouble strikes, what reason is there for despondency? And if there is no help for it, what use is there in being sad?" We can paraphrase by stating: if there is something you can do about it, why be upset, if there is nothing

ones

I

you can do about In

my father's

massive

life

it,

why be upset?

case, the events that occurred at mid-life were

lessons that

changed him 137

forever. The brilliance

and

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

dynamism he once had never really shone again. Somehow, he never came to terms with the huge defeat and crushing blows of that time. Not doing so, perhaps is why he was unaccepting of his death some twenty years later. Our death is definite, and with that recollection, we can develop some determination and resolve to use our life well while we have energy and time. Whether with the help of spiritual practice or just by our own observation and reasoning powers, we will be better able to accept the inevitable.

Prepared and Accepting:

A Story of Death

with

Grace

Given the diverse fabric of life, it is not surprising to find that many people who live their lives peacefully, gently, and kindly also have a peaceful death. They aren't particularly famous or accomplished, but are like our grandparents or neighbors, who can be trusted with anything; private words, a listening ear, or a lending hand. They live ordinary lives and are all among us. They don't need all the fireworks and dazzle of fancy things and associations and live in friendship with everyone.

My

Mamie's mother was an amazing example of this. In her months, Celia was so peaceful and a joy to be with. I'd stop in to visit her just because of that. Even during her life, she had a remarkable, loving attitude about people and living. One time Celia told me about a young burglar entering her house when she was already getting on in years. He wanted money, so she went to get her purse and gave him everything in her wallet. Then she asked him to wait a minute while she got her other purse to give him some more money. Then he said, "Do you want to make love?" But she calmly told him, "Oh no, you wouldn't want to do that. I'm sick and you don't want to get sick too. gave you all my money so go and don't come back." So he left. friend

last

I

Even though when all this happened she was and recovering from cancer treatments, she was calm and cool in fending off the young predator. It's not that she had a life without problems. In fact, she was from a wealthy family in China who became ill

138

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

what they could carry to escape during the Japanese occupation of China. She raised her family in the United States, had to learn English and at one point, went to work in a toy factory to make some extra money. In the end, Celia spent her days quietly in her apartment, saying her prayers, visiting with family and friends. She was very comfortable, and comforting to others. She didn't complain and passed on very peacefully. refugees, leaving only with

These people are

like

the quiet teachers, the persons

with the knowing that essentially people are

who

good and

instill

kind.

us

These

are the people who are the real fabric of humanity, that allow us to drop our guard of fear, paranoia or competition, who allow us to feel trust and honesty in ourselves and among others, that we can be friends, simply and without demands. We experience peace of mind, ease and a warm heart around people like Celia.

These four living.

stories

One

are

final story

our four choices not of death, but of exemplifies a truly enlightened life and

in truth

It's the death of a Dharma Master Tsenshab Rinpoche in December of 2006. A lifelong monk, Rinpoche began a fifteen-year meditation retreat at age 45. His retreat took place in a small stone hermitage in the mountains above Dharamsala, India. Rinpoche ended his retreat because His Holiness the Dalai Lama requested him to come out of retreat and teach. And teach he did. For the next 20 years Rinpoche traveled the world giving Buddhist teachings. The Dalai Lama includes himself among Rinpoche's students.

therefore enlightened death. Kirti

In

summer of 2006 Kirti Tsenshab Rinpoche was diagnosed with cancer. Because he was 80 years old and the tumor was quite

the

liver

cancer was not treated. After the initial diagnosis, Rinpoche gave a short talk to a small group of students. Among comments were the following: large, the

his

am fully aware of the fact that the disease, especially at this incurable. But am not sad, or disappointed in any way. When [the doctor] informed me of the presence of a tumor in my "I

stage,

is

I

139

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER liver, thought immediately that he was so very, very kind. He was extremely kind to me. I

have been practicing taking on the sufferings of others and giving them my happiness for many, many years. But it was more or less mere theory for me. When was told that have cancer, did not feel sad or upset. On the contrary my mind was uplifted, and felt light and open. thought: 'Finally, have the chance to put this theory into practice now! My prayers have come true. How wonderful!' intend to use whatever time have left in order to deepen my practice of giving and taking. I

I

I

I

it

I

I

I

I

I

don't want you to

be

sad.

I

want you

to

be happy and

inspired

now have such a wonderful opportunity to practice in a way that all bodhisattvas do. My doctor has been so kind to me. Why would ever want to hide the fact that am now practicing since

I

I

I

in

the footsteps of the bodhisattvas?"

Towards the end of the talk Rinpoche expressed his wish to record his experiences as the disease developed further. He believes that

can be very useful to many other cancer patients, and hospices, everywhere in the world. In September, one of his doctors commented that he never met anyone with a tumor that big who is still alive and from his knowledge even one were alive with such a tumor, he or she would be in great pain. But Rinpoche was not in pain. He was able to meditate and take long walks every afternoon. Most noticeable, the doctor said, was that Rinpoche's eyes and in general his face was very alert, which indicated that he was this

material

their families

if

fighting

cancer very

well.

On December 3,

Rinpoche's student and translator wrote the an email: "Rinpoche has not been able to consume anything orally for a number of days and he continues to loose weight and strength. Even so, his blood pressure, temperature, oxygen intake, pulse and other parameters remain within the following

in

normal range. Perhaps

this

of 'normality' while the

cancer

Rinpoche continues with

is

his

the most extraordinary manifestation is at such an advanced stage. daily practice and prayers and all

140

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

attendants continue to otfer

their services tirelessly,

around the

clock.

On December 16, Rinpoche entered his last meditation session, which ended four days later on December 20, at which time Rinpoche passed from this life. the record, in brief, of one who exemplified the life and of a sincere and accomplished Buddhist master in the Tibetan tradition. Rare to even hear of such a thing, but, because of the times in which we live, it was recorded by email and posted on a website, where it remains today to be a source of incredible This

is

death

inspiration.

While death may not be dinner conversation, conversation; not in a morbid or sad way, but

it

should be

a positive way Rinpoche demonstrated above. And believe the conversation should occur sooner than later. After all, it is through a realization of our own mortality that we have the potential to become fully human and embody the compassion and love that is within us. But we must do the work to resolve our own internal and external struggles. And that practice takes a lifetime.

much

Where I

in

like

am

I

I

on the

feel intellectually

grid? For

prepared

all

for

my practice, study and meditation, my death. Contemplating death

do certain meditations that work to transform our clinging and the negative perception we have about death. say that now, but when the time comes, know then the extent of my preparation. trust won't be a coward. helps as

to

life

I

I'll

I

I

Death

will

of

how

life— both internal

and

be the

the issues of

my

true

measure

I

and how resolved How empowering moments by the way we

lived

I

external.

to know that we can shape our final shape our present ones. It's not that we should live our lives solely so that we may have peaceful deaths, but rather, know that we desire a peaceful death then we must live our lives accordingly.

it is

if

141

RICH BROTHER RICH SISTER

My journey from

childhood, to the mountains ot The Big Island of

—

Hawaii, to motherhood, to India and beyond with all the learning, the realizations and the beliefs formed, reformed,

cases shattered and formed again

— has been one

I

in

some

would not

been a spiritual journey, and whether we know it or on spiritual journeys. Like everyone, I'm learning as And everyday learn more, understand more and have more trade.

It's

we

all

are

not, I

I

happy in the process and thankful experience shared with everyone.

questions. But I'm

teachers and

life

142

for all

my

live.

^AiA^ig

v

Two lives.

Together, then apart, then together again, as a brother and a sister discover the

riches of life. Rich Brother Rich Sister

Kiyosaki and his

sister

Emi

reaffirm your belief in the

overcome

October 2008

l±l

all

combines the inspirational true life

stories

book

Kiyosaki (Venerable Tenzin Kacho) into one

power of purpose, the importance of action, and the

obstacles in a quest for a rich

of Robert that will ability to

life.

bomb 10 miles off the coast of Christmas moment two people, born of the same parents,

In 1962, the United States detonated an atomic

From

Island in the South Pacific.

into the

two

that

same household, with the same childhood experiences found themselves on

different paths

toward God, money and happiness. Robert became

entrepreneur, author and teacher of all things financial.

Buddhist nun, author and teacher of all things Their

lives take

them from the Big

communes

the hippie

in

Island of

Haight-Ashbury to

with Dr. R. Buckminster Fuller to a seat ultimately back together again.

make

the mistakes, learn

life's

And

lessons

at

all

the wealth that comes through living the

meant This

to live

Cam Ranh

monastery

Vietnam, to

Emi

take the risks,

own truths: The peace, the happiness,

your were meant to

life

in

The Dalai Lama and

along the way, Robert and their

Bay

in India, to private encounters

the foot of His Holiness

and find

world-famous

spiritual.

Hawaii to

a

a

And Emi became a highly devout

live,

the

way you were

it.

book will inspire you along your own life's journey to find your own truth, purpose

and path

to wealth,

both financial and

were meant for you... and us

spiritual, to achieve all the riches

of life that

all.

Learn more about Rich Brother Rich Sister

at

www.vanguardpressbooks.com

Rich Brother Rich Sister coming in hardcover from Vanguard Press October 2008

October 2008 $24.95 U.S. ($26.95

•

ISBN: 978-159315-493-6

CAN)

.

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PAGES

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