How to Make Your Man Behave in 21 Days or Less Using the Secrets of Professional Dog Trainers 1563056267, 9781563056260

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i

How To Make Your Man Behave Jl

IN

LJ

r

cJ. e 3 d

DiAYS

,

•

U

d

I-

n

The

SECRETS Of

Professional

DOG TRAINERS

y

Written By

Karen Salmansohn I

I

I

ustrated By

Alison Seiffer

H

ow To Make

Your Man Behave

2/ U SECRETS DAYS

LJ

r

aJ. e J J

J

^

I

n a

The

Of

Professional

DOG TRAINERS

^

Written By

Karen Salmansohn Illustrated By

Alison Seiffer

Workman Publishing New Yo k r

Text copyright ©1994 by Karen Salmansohn copyright ©1994 by Alison Seiffer

Illustrations

—

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced mechanically, electronically, or by any other means, including photocopying without written permission of the publisher. Published simultaneously in Canada by Thomas Allen & Son, Ltd.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

How

to

Salmansohn, Karen. in 21 days or

make your man behave

professional written by

dog

Karen Salmansohn;

less using the secrets of

trainers/

by Alison Seiffer. cm. ISBN 1-56305-626-7 - Humor. 2. Dog-Training - Humor. illustrated

p.

1.

Men

I.

Title.

PN6231 .M45S24 1994 94-4018 CIP 818'.5402-dc20

^fe^ Workman books are available at special discounts in bulk for premiums and sales promotions as well as for fundraising or educational use. Special editions can also be created to specification. For details, contact the Special Sales Director at the address below.

when purchased

Workman

Publishing

Company,

Inc.

708 Broadway New York, NY 10003

Manufactured

in

the United States of

First printing April

1994

1098765432

1

America

—

Contents

Introduction

2

Doggie "Do"s & Don'ts

5

Doggie Dogmas

45

Dog Catching

73

Doggie

Styles

81

Outroduction

92

Introduction

been said

It's

Well,

in

passing:

believe there's

I

behind

this

wisdom.

I

much

men are dogs.

capital-'T" Truth

carelessly tossed-around

should know.

I've

bit

of

spent exhaustive

years of research - and exhausting hours involved

in

various forms of petting - only to

prove (and reprove) my System. So,

your

man

if

is

Dog/Man Zen

Belief

you're not pleased with the

behaving,

I

way

suggest you follow the

advice of professionals - professional dog trainers, that But,

is.

before

we

begin,

let's

with this easy-to-follow key.

get acquainted

L^aiu-to-^oliow -J\e '^

Dog

Man

=

Doggie Puppy

Man

=

Man

=

Mongrel Canine Mutt

i

=

Man

=

=

Man

Man

Pack of Dogs

=

Men

1^

A/iemorize

Now

this chart.

Okay.

you're better prepared to

understand

this

book - and

life.

Doggie //

Do"s & Don'ts

^consistently, a

dog

is

"nicest"

when he wants

to

he becomes

wags and

A known on just

trick for

his best fill

all

his

fed.

is

to

bowl halfway

yearning for

Then licks.

keeping a dog

behavior

so he's always

more.

be

Oame him

goes for

in

he'll

his

appetite for affection.

Keep

constant emotional hunger for you and

be more attentive and easier

to control.

M,iemorize

this

very important fact

about "Flight and Chase Behavior." If

your dog

is

running

away from

worst thing you can do He'll

calm.

chase after him.

only run faster. Instead, remain

Do something

his attention.

Act

is

you, the

like

interesting to catch

Flaunt a colorful plaything.

youVe having loads of fun

without him. Soon

he'll

eagerly back.

be

trotting

B

e sure to

introduce your

dog very slowly into the

various

aspects of your life,

or else you

10

could inspire

some

very neurotic frenzied behavior; i.e.,

he could get

destructive

and

break something.

[

12

Until

trust

is

built,

keep him on a leash.

JKj-^^^^'^Vxj^riy^,^

Irogressively lengthen

as your trust grows.

it

And

if

that trust

is

questioned...

advance

to a

choke

collar.

nJ^pr^J-JInj-lA f.i

N OTE: Do until

not lose the leash

youVe completely confident

of your established bond.

i^V^rVu-JVi^TrJVl.

17

L-ommunicate your love

with touch.

O^i

v-7entle strokes

and

playful petting

are positive motivational techniques for instilling

good behavior.

O

Ai ways say

No

clearly,

so there's no mistaking

what you mean. time,

In

you should be

able to communicate

your inner thoughts with a simple look.

IN ever wait

to act

on

punishment. To communicate effectively,

you must punish

directly after the misbehavior; 22

i.e.,

immediately rub

in

the

mess

he's

No doubt about he'll

it.

his

nose

made. Next time

think twice before

giving you

shit.

Irom day

one, you must

seize the leadership role.

Remain tough. Never be extra-nice to a

dog

who's misbehaving

hopes of winning him

in

over.

You must

refuse to pet or play with a disobedient

dog -

resisting the lure of his

dog

puppy

eyes. He'll get the hint

who's boss.

Kemember: puppy For instance,

weeks

in

love fades.

those

of getting to

first

2-3

know your

dog, you might be charmed by the

way he wakes you up

at

6 A.M. with enthusiastic licking

and slobbering, overcome by desire for you. But chances are,

by the 4th week

you'll prefer to

26

wait

till

noon

to get a pulse

his love for you.

Do

on

So think ahead.

not allow frivolous habits to

few weeks, or

form

in

later

your dog won't understand

those

first

why you suddenly precious

you

in

when he

don't think

it's

starts nuzzling

front of guests.

27

f^ t

Lyogs

are known for begging

and panting

after things they're

not allowed to have. it's

Of

course,

best to keep objects of temp-

tation out of sight, but unfortu-

nately this

is

not always possible.

Luckily there's a training tech-

nique to discourage

wayward

behavior. Familiarize your

dog

with the following equation:

Forbidden Temptation

=

Intense Pain

29

De

consistent with your house rules.

You must decide once and

do you

for

or don't you like

all:

how

protectively he acts

whenever anyone

visits

-

or even approaches you?

And do you

or don't you find

it

30

adorable when he plays with food? Don't waver

in

his

your opinion,

or you'll lose your authority.

And

if

he doubts your authority even once, he'll

forever take advantage.

Stk

yit^>%.

^

1 $UMma

Xrr til III ^x^H +/^

ri

«

\

1 r ^ .iiii;«

V

I I

i

Uon't make a

habit

32

of yelling, or

never

in

listen to

time

he'll

anything you say.

33

34

The most

effective

method

for

a dog do what you want

making

is still

the old-fashioned reward system.

First find

out what your dog's favorite

treats are.

Then promise him one of

these treats

if

he does what he's

Make he begs a

NOTE: The

sure

lot

for

it

first.

extra begging won't

help train him any better,

but

told.

it's

fun to watch.

35

Remember the 36

FOUR Cs

ALWAYS BE

37

ONSISTENT. about your demands;

c in

38

LEAR.

how you

express yourself;

39

c in

ONFIDENT.

your authority;

c OMPUMENTARY.

40

about good behavior.

42

IN ever with

treat

aggression

more aggression -

you1l only aggravate the situation.

Always

for partnership

strive

and

understanding.

43

Doggie Dogmas

Ixind of uncanny

how

the

45

average canine and the average man respond

to the

same

training,

isn't it?

Well, these shared training techniques

work

because dog and man have characteristics in

common. for very

I

believe

dog

is

man's best friend

deep psychological reasons.

Consider the following:

LJogs are known pack behavior. to

for their

A dog

spend too much time

forced

in

captivity

with you will suffer greatly.

Hell whine and bark let

until he's

out to hang with his pack.

46

C

»

'^^'.^

f^'

^

Dogs display marked

territorial behavior,

49

claiming their perceived space with

belongings and scent.

D ogs are known for

bad

peeing habits. 50

Ilus,

dog

it

is

difficult to train

to put things

a

back where he

originally found them.

A

dog

s first

greeting

involves checking out the other's private parts in

order to determine friendly he

wants

how

to be.

55

L ong courting

periods

are not required

56

before

he'll

wanna

start

humping.

59

It's

pointless to

compete

for attention with

a dog caught up

He

is

in

a ball game.

a mindless, obsessed animal.

A dog there's

believes

no such

thing as 60

spending too

much time catering to one's genitalia.

63

L^ogs are their

not especially

grooming

skills

known

for

or cleanliness.

II

A dog

is

naturally protective."

*WARNING: However, a Dog Is Also Known to Bite the Very Hand That Feeds Him.

INo

matter what a dog's God-given

stature, hell tend to think he's

than he truly

bigger

is.

65

D ogs

66

like to

eat out of your plate.

^^r"^5^

INo

matter

attached he will

is,

how a dog

have the occasional urge to stray.

69

On e

of a dog's favorite

games

is:

-OafL 70

^^

"Where Can

I

Hide

My

Big Bone?"

Dog Catching wood

News. Professional dog

trainers

believe you can determine from the 73

start

if

a dog

companion

will

make

— up

before you bring that

feel

make

good

for you. But only

the right questions

you,

a

sure you

if

front.

lifelong

you ask

So

man home

with

know how you

about the following:

Uoes

size matter?

If

so,

which do you prefer: Giant? Large?

Medium? Small? Tiny?

74

What

are your social needs for the dog?

Do you want him

Good

to be:

with children?

Reserved with strangers? Friendly with everyone?

Highly protective? Just for

show purposes?

lor some

it's

not size

but energy level that counts.

Do you

prefer a

dog who

is:

Vigorous and rough? Playful?

Gentle and slow? In

constant need of exercise?

75

lJo you prefer a dog who barks: Rarely? All the

time?

Only on command?

What

kind of

breeding does the If

dog have?

possible, meet

the dog's

mom

and get a sense 16

of

what

she's like.

Well-mannered?

A A

yapper?

snob? Chances are, her offspring

behave

will

similarly.

11

11 ow does the dog interact with other dogs? Is

he a leader? An instigator?

Dominant or submissive? he'll

manifest the

in his

A

In all

loner?

likelihood,

same behavioral

relationship with you.

traits

I

I

ow

old

is

the

dog? Remember, the older the dog, the harder to train.

He's probably already

had years of negative reinforcement,

and 78

is

now

either

spoiled or suffering

from neglect.

w

hat

is

your dog's health history like?

Unless he's a puppy, you never

where

he's been. Play

it

safe.

know

Have

your dog tested by a doctor before you get too close.

Doggie Styles

INever pick a dog because

his particular

with your friends.

important

solely on looks or

is

breed

is

popular

Remember, what's most

the dog's intrinsic personality

and temperament.

Basically, there are

5 Personality/Temperament Categories to

choose from. Select the one satisfies

your needs and

that best

lifestyle.

THE SPORTING requires a is

82

lot

unhoppy

DOG

of doily exercise; if

kept indoors;

gets bored easily;

needs

lots of attention;

likes to play

games with

you.

THE WORKING is

DOG

bred to be strong and hearty; has a highly developed

sense of property ownership; 84

is

very territorial

and protective over whoever takes him home; tends to be quiet,

and

independent antisocial.

^.

^^1

i

86

THE TERRIER is

feisty, persistent

and

aggressive; makes a very loyal companion; has a

tendency to try to dominate. You should consider hov/ much time and energy you're willing to put into a

relationship before

you

let this

demanding

kind of dog

home

come

v/ith

you.

THE HOUND, a hunter by nature, is

instinctually driven

to chase

and

catch nearly anything that

moves;

has great stamina;

tends to be very noisy and playful.

THE TOY DOG, bred moinly

for

show,

is

quite attention-getting

in

appearance; tends to be

as loving with others as he 90

who

is

with those

take care of him;

often inspires strangers to want to pet him;

usually on the skittish side.

OUTRODUCTION

92

know,

I

I

know,

all this

Dog/Man Psychology

con be quite disturbing. ..especially

man. But

if

you're a

if

youVe a

woman, you should be

feeling a sense of... well, hope.

Because once

you understand how an animal

thinks, the better

you can communicate with him and the more responsive hell be to your commands.

Those of you who wisely apply these

Dog/Man Psychology to

Tips are guaranteed

see results within 21 days. Soon your

man

93

will

be obediently fetching your morning paper and cappuccino, and begging you for more of whatever scraps of affection you care to offer him. Yes,

I

stalwartly believe both

be a woman's best friend training

and a

lot

dog and man can

—that

of patience.

is,

with the right

C^sQ

iiMi

K^-'m-

m.

L^vH

M\^-mi: ¥'fi

^V:Ml

•:/^i^'^

"k^Ml^^^

M^

'.ir.K:

m^

0^^^^-'

mi

MM %iM^

r^.

—

Are You Having Trouble WITH Your Man? It

may be

time to seek help from professionals

dog

professional

methods

trainers, ttiot

is.

Their

safe

have your man behaving

will

and in

You'll learn hov/ to use gentle strokes

playful petting as

How

to

curb straying and chasing.

simple look. Because

man

and

positive motivational techniques.

to perfect the art of

a

effective

no time.

can't be a

And how

saying no with a there's

woman's

no reason why best friend.

^=t Karen Salmansohn

is

the author of the novel

and an award-winning ad writer/creative Alison Seiffer^s The

New

50%

Off

director.

•"^^'ilarly in

illustrat'

York Times, Gl

lA/orhman

/-^uh^

ISBN l-56305-6z.

CO CO fioo/c-.>

^3e:6.20u

BOOKLAND EAN

50895> 9

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