Complete Works (Mode One Series) 1591138973, 9781591138976

Table of contents :
Introduction
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
“The basic tool for the manipulation of reality is the manipulation of words. If you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use the words.”
“Love comes when manipulation stops; When you think more about the other person than about his or her reactions to you. When you dare to reveal yourself fully. When you dare to be vulnerable.”
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Introduction
Preface: Do You Suffer from the Madonna / Whore Complex?
PART ONE:
The Basics of the Verbal Seduction Mindset
Chapter One Social Programming: The #1 obstacle
to seducing women
Chapter Two If women love sex just as much as men, why some of the negative reactions in response to
X-rated dirty talk?
5s
4s
3s
2s
1s
Chapter Three Developing Self-Confidence that is so strong, that it makes women feel “uncomfortable”
Chapter Four Sexual Chemistry: The Good, The Bad,
and The Unpredictable
Chapter Five The Hypnotic Effect of Aural Sex: Using the power of words to break through a woman’s social programming
PART TWO:
She IS That Kind of Girl
Erotic Fiction Based on the Real-Life Verbal Seduction Experiences of Alan Roger Currie
Verbal Seduction Story #1
Sex in a living room full of people:
Alan Roger Currie escalates from a
Mode Two Nice Guy to a Mode One Seducer
Verbal Seduction Story #2
Verbal Seduction Story #3
Verbal Seduction Story #4
Verbal Seduction Story #5
Verbal Seduction Story #6
Wrap Up & Final Thoughts
Other Books & Resources I Recommend
http://www.thenationalcampaign.org
http://www.plannedparenthood.org
http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/
10 Commandments of Sexual Pleasure – Dr. Susan Block
A Little Bit Kinky – Dr. Natasha Janina Valdez
Exhibitionism for the Shy: Show Off, Dress Up, and Talk Hot! –
Dr. Carol Queen
Getting the Sex You Want: Shed Your Inhibitions and Reach New Heights of Passion Together – Tammy Nelson
PIMP: The Story of My Life – Robert Beck a.k.a. Iceberg Slim
Sultry Sex Talk to Seduce Any Lover: Lust-Inducing Lingo and Titillating Tactics for Maximizing Your Pleasure –
Dr. Yvonne Fulbright
The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures –
Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy
The Porn Star Guide to Great Sex – Mr. Marcus
Unlimited Power: The New Science of Personal Achievement –
Tony Robbins
The Voice Book: Caring For, Protecting, and Improving Your Voice – Starr Cookman and Kate DeVore
Why Him? Why Her?: Finding Real Love by Understanding Your Personality Type – Dr. Helen Fisher
Women’s Anatomy of Arousal – Sheri Winston
About the Author
Copyright
Acknowledgments
TABLE OF CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
PREFACE
PART ONE
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
PART TWO
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
PART THREE
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
WRAP UP & FINAL THOUGHTS
RECOMMENDED BOOKS & OTHER RESOURCES
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Copyright
Acknowledgements
Introduction
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Wrap Up & Final Thoughts
Other Books I Recommend
About the Author
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
INTRODUCTION
CHAPTER ONE
Why Heterosexual Men Engage in Dishonest and Disingenuous Conversations with Women
CHAPTER TWO
Manipulative “Game Playing”: Examining Why Men and Women tend to Mislead and Manipulate Each Other
CHAPTER THREE
Mode TWO Behavior: The Men Who Delay or Postpone Letting Women Know What is REALLY on Their Mind
CHAPTER FOUR
Mode THREE Behavior: The Men Who Hide, Deny, or Prevent Women from Knowing What is REALLY on Their Mind
CHAPTER FIVE
Mode FOUR Behavior: The Men Who Become Bitter and Hateful Toward Women Whenever They Become Involuntarily Celibate
CHAPTER SIX
Sexually Duplicitous and Manipulative Women: ‘Wholesome Pretenders’ and ‘Manipulative Timewasters’
CHAPTER SEVEN
Understanding Women 101: The Difference Between 'Alpha Male' traits and 'Beta Male' traits
CHAPTER EIGHT
Mode ONE Behavior: The Men Who Let Women Know What They Are REALLY Thinking
Wrap Up & Final Thoughts
Other Books I Would Recommend
About the Author

Citation preview

MODE ONE Let The Women Know What You’re REALLY Thinking

Alan Roger Currie Mode One Enterprises Hollywood, CA 90046

Copyright © 1999, 2006 Alan Roger Currie 10-Digit ISBN 1-59113-897-3 13-Digit ISBN 978-1-59113-897-6 All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the author. Printed in the United States of America. Mode One Enterprises, Inc. 2006 http://www.modeone.net

MODE ONE Let The Women Know What You’re REALLY Thinking

Alan Roger Currie

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS This endeavor would have never happened if it were not for the support of my late father, Clarence R. Currie; my mother, Mildred R. Currie; my brother, Stephen C. Currie; my cousin, Jason P. Jones; my close friends Timothy Beverly, DeMarrio Gray, Jeff Kenton, Cory Pulliman, Blake F. Scott, and Maurice L. Taylor. Others, over the years, who have supported this effort have been: Adrienne Yates, Keith Olivetti, James Parker, Shenille L. Lucy, Kimberly Brown, LaVeta Hughes, Wendy English, Allison Dean, Troy Perry, David Thompson, Dr. Roxanna E. Harlow, Cheryl Ponton, Dr. Francine Fields, Buddy Lewis, Chi Blackburn, Greg Hines, Arnold Reed, Philip Pulliam, Carleton Lewis, Felicia Griffin, Sheri Barker, Ervin V. Pulliam III, John Soo Hoo, Tiffany Kennedy, Rebecca Smith, Kimberly JonesSnipe, Anthrice Bray, Harold Leonard, Leo Lagrier, Dianthia Simon, Kimberley Ashley, Atha Baugh, Nathan Stewart, Rachelle, Marlon Scott, and Tracie M. Johnson. There are some authors, and/or other “well-known” celebrity types, who I really don’t know personally, but I was influenced and/or inspired by them, and their work: Steven R. Covey, Dr. Brad Blanton, Dr. Susan Campbell, Rom Wills, John Leslie, Anthony Spinelli, Anthony Spinelli Jr., Dr. Harriet Braiker, Susan Forward, Susan Jeffers, Kelly Bryson, the late Richard Pryor, Warren Beatty, Jack Nicholson, Jon Favreau., Alfie Kohn, Michael Baisden, the late James Allen, and Michael Mann. I know I’m forgetting to mention SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, who either directly, or indirectly, had some sort of influence on my motivation to write this book. Please forgive me.

CONTENTS Introduction.................................................................................... 1 CHAPTER ONE - Breaking Through The “Small Talk” Barrier: Why We Approach And Interact With Women In The First Place......................................................................................... 5 CHAPTER TWO - Manipulative “Game Playing”: Why Men Frequently Feel Angry, Frustrated, And Bitter Towards Women ................................................................................... 17 CHAPTER THREE - The Men who Exhibit Mode TWO Behavior: The “Pleasant Postponers”..................................... 37 CHAPTER FOUR - The Men who Exhibit Mode THREE Behavior: The “Phony Pretenders” ......................................... 55 CHAPTER FIVE - The Men who Exhibit Mode FOUR Behavior: The “Misogynistic Revenge Seekers”..................... 71 CHAPTER SIX - Casual Sex VS Relationships: “Wholesome Pretenders” and “Erotic Hypocrites” ....................................... 84 CHAPTER SEVEN - The “Other” Fear: The “Alpha Male Syndrome” and The Fear Of Being “Player Hated” .............. 102 CHAPTER EIGHT - The Men who Exhibit MODE ONE Behavior: The “Self-Assured Straightshooters” .................... 109 FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS ....................................... 146 GLOSSARY............................................................................... 153 Other Books I Would Recommend ............................................ 157

vii

Introduction First, a word about ‘self-improvement’ books: Most contain more hype and unsubstantiated ‘theories’ than they do useful information. At least half of the self-help and self-improvement books I’ve read left me more confused about what I needed help with, than before I read the book. Realistically though, no one self-improvement book can help you more than you allow it to help you. Ideally, what a good self-improvement book seeks to do is provoke you to reexamine those thoughts, attitudes, and beliefs, that you currently hold on to, that are either directly or indirectly, preventing you from achieving your ultimate objectives in life. I’m different from many authors in the sense that, quite frankly, I did not really want to publish this book. I came up with the Four Modes Of Verbal Communication™ way back in October of 1990, and initially, I just looked at them as my own personal principles for evaluating effective behavior vs. ineffective behavior towards the women I was meeting. I noticed that I never felt angry, frustrated, or bitter towards women, even if they failed to reciprocate my interests, whenever I exhibited what I now refer to as Mode One Behavior. On the other hand, just about every time that I exhibited either Mode Two Behavior and/or Mode Three Behavior, I seemed to always feel angry, egotistically frustrated, resentful, and even sometimes, misogynistic towards the entire female gender, in those instances where my relationships or interactions didn’t work out the way that I had desired them to. Then, in 1996 while my brother was working in San Diego, he had two young men who worked for him who were having problems with women. One had moved from Wisconsin, and was pretty much ‘striking out’ with women on a regular basis,

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ALAN ROGER CURRIE

despite being a man of good looks and intelligence. The other had broken up with his ex-girlfriend a few months prior, and had become somewhat reclusive and reluctant as far as meeting and dating new women. My brother told them about my Mode One principles, which at the time was simply in the form of a 25-30 page informal pamphlet. They both expressed a high degree of skepticism. “You can’t just tell women what you’re REALLY thinking … what you REALLY want from them … you just can’t do that. At least, not in your very first conversation with them.” In Dr. Brad Blanton’s book, Radical Honesty, he makes the assertion that we have become a nation full of liars. I can’t say that I disagree with this statement. I actually have met many men who believe that the #1 key to having success with women is to LIE to them. Tell them ‘what they want to hear,’ even if it’s dishonest or insincere. They perceive this as “getting over” on women. What a shame. Of all the various aspects of men’s and women’s behavior that contribute to poor, short-lived relationships, persistent dishonesty has to be at the top of the list. I think what led me to discover the Four Modes Of Verbal Communication™ is that I noticed whenever I went out of my way to be ‘liked’ by women, and tell women ‘what they wanted to hear,’ I never got anywhere. On the other hand, whenever I’ve been totally and unconventionally straightforward with women, I’ve usually received the responses and reactions that I desired. Needless to say, those two men who worked for my brother ended up reading my pamphlet, and applied the principles to their next few interactions with single women. Within less than two weeks, one of the two men was meeting and dating numerous single women on a regular basis. The other gentlemen met one particular woman he was really interested in romantically, and they connected immediately.

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They both came back to the office telling my brother, “You have to tell Alan to publish this as a book!! This Mode One stuff works!” After receiving a few more words of encouragement from male friends and acquaintances, I finally said “What the heck.” And so here it is. The book that is fifteen years overdue. To eliminate any potential for unsubstantiated ‘hype,’ I’m going to tell you right now what many books that emphasize improving your success in attracting women won’t tell you: You cannot make a woman who is not interested in you, become interested in you. The vast majority of these ‘how to pick up women’ type books, and ‘how to get any beautiful woman you want in your bed’ type books tend to mislead you into believing that you have the “magic power” to virtually attract any single woman you meet. NOT TRUE. Take me for example. If I’m just flat out, 100% not interested in a woman, there is very little, if anything that this woman can do to ‘make me’ interested in her. Realistically, it’s just not going to happen. That’s the ‘bad’ news. The good news is that there are many women who hide and/or deny the fact that they are really attracted to you, and interested in dating you and/or having sex with you. For every two women who you meet who will straightforwardly acknowledge that they are interested in you, there are probably another 3-5 women who are interested in you, but will temporarily or indefinitely pretend as though they’re not. These are the women who Mode One Behavior primarily targets. In my opinion, dating in society would be less challenging, less confusing, and less frustrating if everyone was just REAL with one another. The #1 problem with today’s dating climate is that there are too many men and women who are phony, manipulative, and/or very duplicitous in their behavior. Men and women are so obsessed with pleasing everyone, and

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leaving them with a “good impression,” that we have become a society full of “pleasantly phony” people-pleasers. And in the long-run, this creates a high degree of passive-aggressive behavior in people, and in particular, men. Don’t read the whole book in one sitting. Read one chapter at a time, and then stop and reflect on your past interactions and relationships with women. Jot down some notes on a scrap piece of paper. Then continue. After reading this book, your attitude and demeanor will become a lot more calm, cool, and collected. Your manner of verbal expression will become a lot more honest, self-assured, and straightforward. You will be a different man. And women will undoubtedly notice this. Welcome to the world of MODE ONE Behavior.

4

CHAPTER ONE Breaking Through The “Small Talk” Barrier: Why We Approach And Interact With Women In The First Place “Men today are a mere shadow of what they could be. Many men are putting on a façade to get along in life. Many are wearing masks to conform to the social and political climate. This is especially the case when men deal with women.” Rom Wills, author of Nice Guys And Players: Becoming The Man Women Want

Small talk. I absolutely hate small talk. Why do we engage in what’s known as “small talk” (i.e., conversation that is trivial and meaningless, but usually, to some degree, entertaining) when most of us really don’t care for it? Because we’re being pleasantly phony, with the objective of making those who we’re conversing with feel as comfortable around us as possible. Since I was a child, I was conditioned by my elders, and particularly my female elders, to always be ‘well-mannered’ and tactful. To be the “little gentleman.” I was groomed to always exhibit behavior that was pleasing and flattering to whomever I was speaking with. It was a given that you avoided saying anything that had the potential to be

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insulting, controversial, or too personal. It has been my experience that most men who were raised in a middle-class, two parent, churchgoing family were generally groomed in the same manner. As I grew older, I began to develop a certain degree of ambivalent feelings about my well-mannered behavior. Specifically, in regards to interacting with women. How many times have you observed a guy who was frequently criticized, in one way or another, by a reasonably large percentage of the women who were acquainted with him, but that same guy was never at a lack for romantic and sexual companionship?

Or, on the contrary, how many times have you

observed a male friend of yours (you maybe?) who was repeatedly complimented on how much of a “gentleman” they were, how much of a “sweetheart” they were, how funny and entertaining they were, and how fun to be around they were . . . BUT . . . this guy was always struggling to maintain the romantic and sexual interest of women? For better or for worse, I have had the interesting perspective of experiencing BOTH sides of that social coin. The former situation was never a problem, but the latter situation was always frustrating to me. What I began to slowly, but surely come to realize was that, generally, the women who had the highest degree of romantic and sexual interest in me were those women with whom I behaved in a

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MODE ONE

very natural, relaxed, self-assured, and egotistically indifferent manner. In other words, I was REAL with them, and I didn’t really care whether or not those women ‘liked’ me, or approved of my behavior. On the flip side though, most of the women who I had very disappointing and frustrating interactions with were generally those who I tried too hard to be “Mr. Perfect Gentleman”: Always trying to say the ‘right’ thing, do the ‘right’ thing, and generally communicate with them in a manner that was exceptionally pleasing and flattering to that woman’s ego. I truly believe that deep down, all men want to consistently exhibit what I would categorize as “Mode One Behavior.” The one factor that probably prevents men from doing so is also the one factor that probably has the most detrimental effect on our day-to-day, week-toweek behavior while interacting with others: THE FEAR OF WHAT OTHER PEOPLE ARE GOING TO THINK AND SAY ABOUT OUR BEHAVIOR. Think about it. How many times have you been around friends, family, and/or social acquaintances, and have felt the desire to exhibit free-spirited, uninhibited behavior, only to be held back by the paralyzing fear of being criticized, ‘looked at funny,’ reprimanded, disliked, or causing others to feel uncomfortable?

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I’ve been in this position too many times to mention. I’ve definitely been guilty of this in the company of new female acquaintances more so than in the company of new male acquaintances. I generally always ‘speak my mind’ around males, regardless of whether I’ve known them for two years or two hours. Expressing myself in a candid, extremely straightforward manner in the company of desirable women has always been more of a challenge for me, and based on the many conversations I’ve had with other men, I found that I was definitely not alone. THE

PRIMARY

BASIS

BEHIND

THE

FOUR

MODES

OF

VERBAL

COMMUNICATION™

Here is the fundamental truth regarding most male-female interactions: WE ALL WANT SOMETHING. The biggest lie you can tell yourself when you approach a woman who you’re romantically and/or sexually interested in is that you “don’t want anything” from this woman. YES YOU DO. Just about everybody who we interact with on a regular or semi-regular basis, we have a need and/or desire that we would like to see fulfilled and satisfied. What we desire can be something intangible such as flattering attention or respect. It can be something tangible such as a monetary favor or an offer of employment. Bottom line … very rarely, if ever, do you approach a woman “just for the heck of it.”

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MODE ONE

Most of my adult life, my behavior had always vacillated between being confident, forthright, and provocative, and being wellmannered, cautious, and indirect. But prior to Fall of 1990, I had never actually thought to “categorize” my behavior, or anyone else’s behavior. It wasn’t until an interaction I had one evening in October of 1990, with a young lady who was acquainted with my mother, that I first came up with what is now known as The Four Modes Of Verbal Communication™. That evening, I had a chance run in with this woman who was more familiar with my mother than myself. Now, as I alluded to earlier, this was the very type of woman who I usually had the most problems being my “real” self around. Anytime a young lady mentioned that she knew “Mrs. Currie,” my brain would immediately provoke me to exhibit behavior that was totally representative of being “Mr. Perfect Gentleman.” Sure enough, we ended up initially engaging in about fifteen to twenty minutes of uninteresting, irrelevant “small talk.” And you KNOW how much I HATE SMALL TALK. Why do men frequently engage in trivial, meaningless small talk with women with whom they’re attracted to, when they know that this type of conversation is usually ineffective and unproductive? Because they are either a) confused about what it is they really want from this woman (a relationship? casual sex? a platonic friendship?), or b) they

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know specifically what they want, but they are afraid to communicate this to women. In my experiences and observations, it’s usually the latter. This is what basically distinguishes the difference between effective verbal communication and ineffective verbal communication. When you know what you want from women, and you communicate your needs and desires to them in a confident, honest, and clearly understandable manner, this is representative of effective verbal communication. On the other hand, when you’re confused about what it is you really want from women, or you know exactly what you want from women, but you are afraid to communicate this information to them, this is representative of ineffective verbal communication. When I was conversing with this young lady who was acquainted with my mother, I knew exactly what I wanted from her. I wanted to have casual sex with her. She was physically attractive, and had a very sexy demeanor about her. Was it shallow or superficial on my part to want to have [casual] sexual relations with her so quickly? Maybe, maybe not. Is it to your long-term detriment to interact with women in a phony, ineffective manner, while attempting to “hide” your true desires, interests, and intentions from them? DEFINITELY.

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MOST

MODE ONE

Now some people would argue that introducing the idea of having sex with a woman in your very first conversation with her is “socially inappropriate,” or at minimum, representative of “bad manners.” They would contend that this type of conversational behavior is not representative of a true “gentleman.” I DISAGREE. In my opinion, there is a fine line difference between exhibiting behavior that is socially appropriate, and behavior that is phony and insincere. I think the former has value most of the time, but the latter leads to ineffective and unproductive relationships with women. I’m not at all suggesting that any man should be intentionally ‘rude’ or ‘disrespectful’ towards women. That won’t get you anywhere. On the other hand though, you want to avoid making comments, and expressing desires and interests that are not representative of what you’re REALLY thinking. That’s my definition of “real” behavior.

REAL behavior is

behavior that is representative of your true and honest needs, thoughts, desires, interests, and intentions.

On the contrary,

PHONY behavior is behavior that gives people a deceitful and/or misleading impression of what your true needs, thoughts, desires, interests, and intentions are.

If I interact with you primarily

because I want you to help me find a job, and everything about my behavior allows you to know clearly that this is my main objective, I’m being real with you. On the other hand, if I interact with you,

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and I give you the impression that I just want to “enjoy your company and conversation,” when in reality, I want you to introduce me to someone who can help me land a job, I would be guilty of being phony and manipulative. Returning to my conversation with the young lady in 1990, my frustration finally reached a breaking point. I couldn’t take any more of this unproductive “small talk” any longer. I abruptly interrupted her while she was talking, and finally communicated to her in a very bold, ultra-confident, and extremely straightforward manner what my real desires, interests, and intentions were (I let her know I wanted to have casual sex with her). THE MANNER IN WHICH I EXPRESSED MYSELF TOTALLY CAUGHT HER OFF GUARD. “Excuse me??! I beg your pardon??!”

As anticipated, my bold, extremely provocative, and straightforward manner of expression threw her for a loop. “Excuse me?!?!” was her first response. “I beg your pardon?!?!” came next. “I cannot believe you just said that!!” immediately followed. Now if I had received those types of shocked and flabbergasted responses from any other woman who was acquainted with my mother prior to this night, I might have been tempted to immediately become apologetic and regretful. Afraid that my “Mr. Perfect Gentleman” reputation would possibly be tarnished. But on this night … in this conversation … I 12

MODE ONE

COULD CARE LESS. The desire to be REAL outweighed my desire to maintain an “innocent,” “wholesome,” and/or “well-mannered” image. “Do you talk like this to ALL WOMEN in your very FIRST CONVERSATION with them?!?!” was the question she asked. My response? “What difference does it make to you how I approach other women … the important thing right now is that I approached you in the manner that I did because I’m interested in getting together with you.” HER SURPRISING RESPONSE

She paused. She then just sat in my car for a moment and stared out the window. I figured after expressing to her why I REALLY wanted to share her company, either one of two things was about to happen: a) she was going to express to me, in one way or another, that she was uncomfortable with my provocative, straight-to-the-point manner of expressing myself, and convey to me that she had no desire in sharing my company in the near future; OR b) she was going to slowly, but surely acknowledge that the idea of us getting together wasn’t so bad after all, and subsequently invite me to share her company in the very near future (hey, it had happened before). After a few more moments of silence, she finally chose the latter response.

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She gazed at me with a look of amazement and admiration, and soon let me know that she was incredibly turned on by my ultra-bold approach, my highly self-assured demeanor, and my fearlessly straightforward manner of verbal communication. Once she relaxed, she confessed that even when she was behaving in a shocked and startled manner, deep down, she actually found my manner of expression highly appealing. In particular, she acknowledged that once she realized that I wasn’t going to wimp out and apologize for expressing my desires and interests in such an unconventionally straightforward manner, she became even more turned on. “That is how I’ve always wanted a man … at least, one who I’m physically attracted to … to talk to me. But realistically, I would never expect most men to have the guts to … at least, not in their very first conversation with me…” LIGHT BULB ON TOP OF THE HEAD TIME

That comment she made about me saying “what she wanted to hear, but wouldn’t [normally] expect to hear” intrigued me. After about 20-30 minutes of kissing and making out in the car, she wrote down her number and told me to feel free to come by her place the next day. When I got home that evening, I was like a man on a mission. I was so excited that I had conquered my fear of speaking my mind, and risking my “Mr. Perfect Gentleman” reputation, that I didn’t know

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MODE ONE

what to do. The fact that I had aroused her sexually was irrelevant and secondary. For me, the biggest thing was avoiding engaging in small talk, and feeling as though I was being phony. I had an adrenaline rush that was incredible. The biggest thing was that I kept repeating that comment in my head: “what she wanted to hear, but didn’t expect to hear.” Beginning with that night, and on through the weekend, I began reading magazine articles on male-female relationships, books on what men and women found appealing and arousing in each other, and listening to men and women on TV talk shows talk about good and bad first date experiences. I began to think about all of my own experiences with women, as well as some of the experiences of most of the males who I was close friends with. After days of thought, I finally came to the conclusion that all conversational behavior exhibited by men towards women who they’re attracted to generally falls into one of four categories: • Saying what women generally WANT TO HEAR, but for the most part, DON’T EXPECT TO HEAR (primarily, because they don’t think you have the “guts” to say what’s really on your mind); I categorized this behavior as “Mode One Behavior.” • Saying what women generally WANT TO HEAR, and also what they generally EXPECT TO HEAR (primarily, because you’re being

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ALAN ROGER CURRIE

“well-mannered” and “conventional”); I categorized this behavior as “Mode Two Behavior.” • Saying what women generally DON’T WANT TO HEAR, but what they typically EXPECT TO HEAR (primarily, because everything you’re saying is phony, insincere, timid, and/or cliché); I categorized this behavior as “Mode Three Behavior.” • Saying what women generally DON’T WANT TO HEAR, and also what they DON’T EXPECT TO HEAR (primarily, because you’re being rude, crass, insulting, and/or blatantly disrespectful); I categorized this behavior as “Mode Four Behavior.” And

thus,

THE

FOUR

MODES

OF

VERBAL

COMMUNICATION™ were born. But why is Mode One Behavior necessary? effective? Read on.

16

What makes it so

CHAPTER TWO Manipulative “Game Playing”: Why Men Frequently Feel Angry, Frustrated, And Bitter Towards Women “I will always try to manipulate men and dominate them egotistically … always. Why? Because it’s fun, and because I can. If I’m successful, I will play them for everything they have to offer until I get bored. If I can’t, and I’m attracted to them, I will pursue them relentlessly until they’re mine.” A female making a confession in the popular women’s magazine, ESSENCE

Generally speaking, I typically evaluate all behavior exhibited towards others from two primary perspectives: Strong Behavior VS Weak Behavior, and Effective Behavior VS Ineffective Behavior. As I emphasized in the previous chapter, we all are interested in having some sort of need and/or desire fulfilled and satisfied when we interact with others, and in particular, women who we have some degree of romantic and/or sexual interest in. STRONG BEHAVIOR vs WEAK BEHAVIOR

One of the dictionary definitions of the term “strong” is “incapable of being easily damaged, destroyed, or broken down; securely fixed, firm” I define strong behavior as behavior that is very firm in its

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principles and values.

When you exhibit strong behavior, it is

virtually impossible for you to be easily manipulated or taken advantage of. When you interact with people who have principles and values that are in stark contrast to your own, their behavior will have very little, if any influence on how you behave. Weak behavior on the other hand, is behavior that is easily affected by the opinions and influence of others. Any time another person can easily provoke you to change, modify, and/or compromise your principles, values, and moral character without valid cause, then this is representative of weak behavior. Similarly, if you’re a person who can very easily and frequently be manipulated by others, disrespected by others, or egotistically dominated by others, that means your behavior is weak. EFFECTIVE BEHAVIOR vs INEFFECTIVE BEHAVIOR

The dictionary definition for “effective” is “capable of producing an intended or desired result.”

So basically, effective behavior is

representative of any behavior that you exhibit that has the potential to produce the results that you ultimately desire. If your primary desire is to provoke a woman to share your company in a romantic manner, and the behavior you’re currently exhibiting has the potential to lead to that objective, then you’re exhibiting effective behavior.

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MODE ONE

If the behavior which you exhibit is frequently counterproductive to your desired goals and objectives, then this means that your behavior is

ineffective.

Ineffective

behavior

is

synonymous

with

unproductive, time-wasting behavior. Any time you’re exhibiting behavior that has very little, if any chance of leading to the results that you desire, you’re wasting time in an unproductive manner. Quick Recap: Strong Behavior: Any form of behavior you exhibit that makes it virtually impossible for others to manipulate you, disrespect you, and/or cause you to change or compromise your personal principles and values without a valid purpose; Weak Behavior: Any form of behavior you exhibit that makes it fairly easy for others to manipulate you, disrespect you, and/or provoke you to change or compromise your personal principles and values without valid cause; Effective Behavior: Any form of behavior you exhibit that is highly conducive to the achievement of your desired goals and objectives;

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ALAN ROGER CURRIE

Ineffective Behavior:

Any form of behavior you exhibit that is

generally counterproductive to the achievement of your desired goals and objectives. It’s these various forms of behavior that contribute to what distinguishes the four modes of behavior. The “starting point” of all relationships with women begins with one basic concept: What it is you really want from women, and how do you go about choosing to communicate this to them. In my experience with women, as well as my observation of other men’s experiences, I would tend to distinguish all behavior towards women into four basic categories: • Behavior that is strong AND effective; This is representative of MODE ONE BEHAVIOR. • Behavior that is weak, BUT effective; This is representative of MODE TWO BEHAVIOR. • Behavior that is weak AND ineffective; This is representative of MODE THREE BEHAVIOR.

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MODE ONE

• Behavior that is strong, BUT ineffective; This is representative of MODE FOUR BEHAVIOR. MODE ONE BEHAVIOR IS ABOUT CONQUERING YOUR FEARS

I have found that the primary factor that distinguishes Mode One Behavior from Mode Two Behavior, Mode Two Behavior from Mode Three Behavior, and so on, basically revolves around the degree of fear you have towards letting women know what it is that you really want from them; Why you really want to share their company. When you exhibit Mode Two Behavior, your primary fear is… • THE FEAR OF HARSH, SUBJECTIVE CRITICISM (i.e., the fear of having a woman express “disapproval” of your real desires, interests, and intentions, OR, the manner in which you chose to verbally communicate them to her)

When you exhibit Mode Three Behavior, your primary fear is… • THE FEAR OF BEING REJECTED and/or IGNORED (i.e., the fear of not having your real desires, interests, and intentions reciprocated by a woman, and/or the fear of being indefinitely ignored)

When you exhibit Mode Two Behavior, you’re not so much concerned with anticipating a negative reaction to what desires and

21

ALAN ROGER CURRIE

interests you express to women, but rather HOW and WHEN you express them. In other words, when you’re in a Mode Two state of mind, you’re not afraid to let women know what you want from them, or what you’re really thinking, but you tend to be overly concerned with the manner in which you verbally express your thoughts and desires to them. This is why I describe Mode Two Behavior as weak, but effective. Mode Two is effective primarily because you’re being honest with women in regards to what your true needs, desires, interests, and intentions are, but on the negative end, Mode Two Behavior is weak because of the manner in which you choose to express your needs and desires is usually too cautious, too delayed, and/or too hesitant and indirect. When you exhibit Mode Three Behavior, you tend to be more afraid of an adverse reaction to what desires and interests you’re expressing. When you’re in a Mode Three state of mind, you’re highly afraid of letting women know what you want from them, or what you’re really thinking, because you’re afraid that they won’t share the same desires and interests that you do.

Mode Three

Behavior is weak because it’s predicated on fear. In addition, Mode Three Behavior is ineffective because you’re hiding, denying, or camouflaging what your true needs, desires, interests, and intentions are.

22

MODE ONE

Many times, you can get away with exhibiting Mode Two Behavior, or even Mode Three Behavior, when you’re interacting with people, and women in particular, who are non-manipulative and have your best interests at heart. Realistically though, there are many men and women out in the world who are just looking for the chance to manipulate someone’s behavior to serve their own selfish desires. The primary aspect of your behavior that manipulative people prey on, is your fear of being either criticized, disliked, rejected, and/or ignored. It’s when a man feels as though he has been taken advantage of, unfairly criticized, and/or blown off or ignored in an unnecessarily harsh manner, that leads him to another mode of behavior known as Mode Four Behavior. Mode Four Behavior is not really provoked by any type of fear, but rather it is predicated on a desire for “egotistical revenge” towards a female (either one or two particular females, or the whole gender). This is over half of the reason why I wrote this book. To help men eliminate that residual anger, frustration, and bitterness that usually develops after a man feels as though he’s been misled, disrespected, or manipulated, by a woman who he was romantically and/or sexually interested in. Mode Four Behavior is behavior that is strong, but ineffective. Mode Four is strong because you’re usually being honest and

23

ALAN ROGER CURRIE

straightforward with women in regard to what your true needs, desires, and interests are, but on the other hand, Mode Four behavior is ineffective because you’re only being honest because you’re angry, or because you already know that your needs and desires will not be satisfied or reciprocated. When you’re in a Mode Four state of mind, you don’t really have a genuine interest in sharing a woman’s company. You’ve basically become a misogynist (a man who is physically and sexually attracted to women, but hates them as human beings). You will date a woman and/or have sex with a woman primarily for the sake of ultimately hurting them emotionally, or leaving them with a bruised ego. As I mentioned in the previous chapter, with every woman who you have a desire to approach and interact with, there is something that you want from them. Don’t fool yourself. I can only laugh when I hear men make statements such as, “Oh … I don’t really want anything from her…” Why are you talking to her then? “I just want to share her company and get to know her better…” Why? Most women who you approach, you either want to date them (i.e., spend time with them in a romantic and exclusively committed manner), or you want to have sex with them in a short-term, nonexclusive, casual manner.

24

MODE ONE

If there is one thing that many men don’t realize, is that there is a difference between talking and verbally communicating. Have you heard the adage, “He was talking a lot, but he wasn’t saying anything.”?? Talking is simply verbalizing words. For example, if I read off a list of random words from a sheet of paper, I would be talking, but I wouldn’t be communicating anything. If you’re making comments or statements that don’t make any sense, and others have a hard time comprehending what point you’re trying to get across, you’re talking, but you’re not communicating. To verbally communicate means to express and/or exchange useful information. If a woman is providing me with information that can help me make choices and decisions regarding my interest in further interacting with her, she is communicating with me. Communicating primarily centers around expressing one’s physical and emotional needs, their desires, their general interests, and their short-term or long-term intentions. On the next page, I have a matrix of how each mode of verbal communication is distinguished. This will give you a better idea of the specific characteristics of each mode of behavior:

25

ALAN ROGER CURRIE THE FOUR MODES OF VERBAL COMMUNICATION™

WHAT WOMEN GENERALLY “EXPECT” TO HEAR

WHAT WOMEN GENERALLY “DON’T EXPECT” TO HEAR

WHAT WOMEN GENERALLY “WANT” TO HEAR

WHAT WOMEN GENERALLY “DON’T WANT” TO HEAR

MODE TWO

MODE THREE

When you express your needs, desires, interests, and intentions to a woman in a cautious, hesitant, indirect, ‘beat-around-the-bush’ manner Your behavior is usually very polite, considerate, pleasant, entertaining, and nonthreatening; You’re confident to a degree, but very conscious about your image and reputation among women; You like being known and perceived as a “gentleman”

When you hide, deny, and/or ‘camouflage’ your true, honest needs, desires, interests, and intentions from women; Your behavior is usually phony, hypocritical, wimpy, deceitful, and ‘wishy washy’; You have a low degree of self-confidence and self-esteem, to the point that you will typically allow women to use you, manipulate you, and even disrespect you on a frequent basis

Big Issue: You have a fear of being harshly criticized and/or disliked; Your main objective is to get a woman to “like” you, and say “nice things” about you, prior to letting her know why you really want to interact with her, and share her company

Big Issue: You have a fear of being rejected and/or ignored; You’d rather ‘pretend’ to be ‘just friends’ with a female, in order to continue getting attention from her, then to let your real desires and interests be known, and risk being rejected or ignored indefinitely

MODE ONE

MODE FOUR

When you express your needs, desires, interests, and intentions to a woman in a highly confident, unapologetic, straightforward, and very specific manner; Your behavior is usually highly self-assured, composed, non-defensive, and provocative; You don’t go out of your way to get women to “like” you, or “approve” of your behavior; You are the personification of “egotistical indifference”

When you express your real desires, interests, intentions, and harsh criticisms in a straightforward, unapologetic, and specific manner, but only AFTER you’ve already been rejected, criticized, or ignored; Your behavior is driven by resentment, misogyny, bitterness, and a desire for “egotistical revenge” towards those women who you feel treated you in a less-thandesirable manner

Big Issue: You don’t like your time to be wasted by those women who don’t have a sincere desire to reciprocate your romantic and/or sexual desires and interests; You don’t like to interact with women who are highly manipulative (i.e., “game players”)

Big Issue: You don’t like to feel ‘egotistically defeated’ by a woman; When a woman rejects you, criticizes you, or ignores you, you want to gain a measure of emotional and egotistical ‘revenge’ in the worst way

26

MODE ONE

Most dictionaries define the term "manipulative" as "to directly or indirectly influence another person's behavior in a manner that is usually to one's own advantage (i.e., your interactions with others is more selfishly beneficial rather than mutually beneficial)" That definition is, to a large degree, appropriate and valid, but for this book's purposes, I will slightly modify it.

I would generally describe "manipulative"

behavior with this definition: ANY TIME THAT YOU'RE ATTEMPTING TO INFLUENCE and MOTIVATE A SPECIFIC RESPONSE FROM OTHERS THAT IS DESIRABLE and BENEFICIAL TO YOURSELF, THROUGH THE USE OF INCENTIVES and REWARDS, and/or DECEPTIVE, MISLEADING BEHAVIOR, YOU ARE BEING MANIPULATIVE. In other words, anytime you want something from someone, and you STRAIGHTFORWARDLY

ask

them

for

it,

that

would

be

representative of non-manipulative behavior. But if I want something from you, and I attempt to flatter your ego first, treat you nicely, take you out to dinner, etc., THEN ask you for what I want ... that's being MANIPULATIVE. As a man, anytime you begin offering incentives and rewards in exchange for romantic and sexual companionship, you are engaging in manipulative game playing. Similarly, anytime you lie to women about what you really want from them, and why you really

27

ALAN ROGER CURRIE

want to share their company, you’re engaging in manipulative head games. A long, long time ago, men were guilty of engaging in manipulative game playing when the idea of prostitution was introduced to society. Once men began to offer monetary incentives and rewards to women in exchange for sexual companionship, a whole new element was added to the realm of male-female relationships. Soon, even outside the context of a courtesan transaction, men continued to compensate women for sexual favors. Women with manipulative intentions couldn't resist the idea of being offered incentives and rewards in exchange for romantic and sexual companionship. Alfie Kohn, in his book Punished By Rewards, clearly points out that once you begin offering incentives and rewards to children, students, employees, women, etc., the interest and excitement towards their respective activity begins to gradually decline. For example, if you consistently offer your children ice cream in exchange for keeping their room clean, after a while, their interest in maintaining a clean room will diminish.

Soon, they will be requesting a BMW motor scooter in

exchange for keeping their room clean. This holds true to when you consistently offer incentives and rewards to women in exchange for romantic and sexual companionship. Something as simple as flattery, is actually an intangible incentive. Anytime you offer to "wine & dine"

28

MODE ONE

a woman in exchange for her companionship, you're offering an incentive as a means of increasing her motivation to spend time with you. As men, let's be honest. Most men will do JUST ABOUT ANYTHING to attract and maintain the romantic and sexual companionship of an attractive, desirable female. THAT'S A FACT. Realistically, nothing will motivate a [heterosexual] man to improve his physical appearance, his level of career success, his education, or his financial status more than the desire to either attract one particular female of interest, or a high number of desirable females. DON'T THINK FOR A MOMENT THAT WOMEN DON'T KNOW THIS. This is what gets many of the manipulative games between single men and single women started. Once a woman knows that you're willing to spoil her and/or attempt to manipulate her (i.e., offer her incentives and rewards in exchange for her companionship), if she's MANIPULATIVE HERSELF, she's going to try to take full advantage of this.

THIS IS WHY MODE ONE

BEHAVIOR IS NOT ONLY EFFECTIVE, BUT NEEDED. If you're offering a woman an expensive dinner and a night at the movie theater as a manipulative tool, eventually, she's going to want to be treated to dinner and a movie every week. If you're offering a ride in your Ferrari as a means of enhancing a woman’s interest in you, pretty soon, she's going to want her own Ferrari.

29

If you're offering a woman the

ALAN ROGER CURRIE

opportunity to have her own condo at your expense, pretty soon she's going to want the house on the beach. TRUST ME MEN: If you choose to play "The Game," WOMEN WILL PLAY IT BETTER. Women KNOW the game. Men THINK they know the game. Let's say, hypothetically, that all women you interacted with were nonmanipulative.

Meaning, under all circumstances, each and every

woman you conversed with either a) straightforwardly communicated to you that they were interested in dating you and/or having [casual] sex with you, OR b) they straightforwardly communicated to you that they had NO interest in dating you and/or having [casual] sex with you. Dialogue with the opposite gender while in search of a new (or for some, an additional) companion would be a clearly understood, cut and dry, and most importantly, straightforward interaction. Of course, you might experience some occasional rejection and some degree of egotistical disappointment, but NO HEAD GAMES. The problem is, we do not live in an ideal society, and unfortunately, there are women in this society who are MANIPULATIVE (not that men aren't; Men can be VERY MANIPULATIVE as well when they want something from a woman, but are afraid to tell them upfront).

30

MODE ONE

FEAR always motivates manipulative behavior. When you're afraid to be upfront with your real needs, real desires, real interests, and true long-term intentions and objectives, you're going to be inclined to exhibit manipulative behavior. But what most people don't consciously realize, is that MANIPULATION IS ALWAYS A TWO-WAY STREET. "Really??" YES. In

other

words,

THE

ONLY

WAY

A

WOMEN

CAN

MANIPULATE YOU IS IF YOU'RE EITHER DIRECTLY (intentionally) OR INDIRECTLY (subconsciously) TRYING TO MANIPULATE THEM. When you choose to exhibit Mode Two Behavior, or Mode Three Behavior, you're either consciously or subconsciously attempting to MANIPULATE a woman. The two primary goals of Mode One Behavior is to . . . 1) Prevent women from manipulating you and/or disrespecting you; 2) Prevent women from wasting your time in an unproductive manner. Strong behavior is the key to goal #1, and effective behavior is the key to goal #2. What is the key to creating strong, effective behavior

31

ALAN ROGER CURRIE

towards women?

You have to know WHAT YOU WANT from

women, WHY YOU WANT IT, and WHAT BEHAVIOR you’re willing to exhibit (or NOT exhibit) in order to get it. Earlier in this chapter, I defined strong behavior as behavior that is firm in its principles and values.

THIS IS THE #1 KEY TO

IMPROVING YOUR BEHAVIOR TOWARDS WOMEN.

You

have to have a definite, specific, detailed list of principles and values that you are not willing to change, sacrifice, or compromise in the process of pursuing the companionship of those women you desire. For example, let’s say that you don’t believe in using illegal drugs, such as cocaine. Then, one day you meet this beautiful, sexy woman, and you find out that she is primarily attracted to men who use cocaine, and can provide her with cocaine. So you decide to purchase some cocaine, and invite her to share your company so you two can snort some. This would be a primary example of you violating one of your own personal principles for the sake of gaining a woman’s attention. This is WEAK. Dr. Stephen R. Covey, in his popular, best-selling book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Behavior, emphasizes the idea of basing your behavior around your principles and values. He basically says that all of us should have a “personal mission statement” as to what principles and

32

MODE ONE

values we’re willing to maintain in the process of pursuing and achieving our desired goals and objectives.

Once you begin to

frequently and consistently violate your own personal principles and values, your character and integrity becomes weak, and you begin to lose credibility and respect in the eyes of others. This is important to remember. Now I know some men reading this might say to themselves, “what does things like ‘character,’ ‘integrity,’ and ‘personal values’ have to do with attracting women??” A LOT. More than the average guy might realize. Believe it or not, it is actually better to consistently maintain principles that are not the most righteous or virtuous, then to frequently “flip flop,” and contradict your own principles. For example, if every time you talked to a woman who was against the use of drugs, and you behave as though you support that stance, but then, when you’re around women who are attractive and use drugs, you behave as though you condone this, that’s wishy-washy. Either you’re not staying true to your personal principles, or worse, you don’t have any. In many surveys conducted, self-confidence and self-assurance is usually the #1 factor identified that attracts and arouses women, that is not related to physical appearance. What most men don’t realize is that there is a direct correlation between the level of confidence you

33

ALAN ROGER CURRIE

exude towards women, and how true you stay to your personal principles and values. It is not my place to tell men why they should share women’s company. Some men may want a serious, romantic, long-term one-on-one relationship with a woman, while other men may only want a shortlived, casual, purely sexual relationship with a woman. To each his own. What I try to emphasize and convey in this book is that regardless of what your needs, desires, interests, and intentions are, it’s always best to identify them specifically, and communicate them confidently and straightforwardly. This book will help you do just that. What is the very first Mode One principle?

NEVER REALLY

CONCERN YOURSELF WITH WHAT BOTHERS YOU ABOUT WOMEN’S BEHAVIOR. Why? Because you have NO control over changing or improving a woman’s behavior. Only she does. Only concern yourself with two aspects of YOUR behavior: 1)

“How do I generally behave towards women?”

This is the

“proactive” component of your behavior; This is the aspect that centers on how effective versus how ineffective your behavior is;

34

MODE ONE

2) “How do I generally allow women to behave towards me?” This is the “responsive” component of your behavior; This is the aspect that centers on how strong versus how weak your behavior is. Don’t attempt to manipulate women.

Don’t allow women to

manipulate you. Don’t allow women to waste your time if they’re really not genuinely interested in you. Don’t allow women to engage

in

“manipulative

CONFIDENT.

head

Be FEARLESS.

games”

with

you.

Be

Be STRAIGHTFORWARD.

Get ready for the freedom of MODE ONE.

Before I explain why Mode One is so strong and effective in preventing manipulative behavior, I will first point out why the other three modes of behavior are so weak and/or ineffective. First though, I want you to perform a brief exercise: Take out a pencil, and a piece of paper, and think of the last five to ten interactions or relationships you’ve had with women that resulted in you feeling either a) angry towards that female, b) egotistically frustrated, and/or c) bitter and resentful towards the female gender in general. Then, once you have your list of interactions/relationships, answer these four questions:

35

ALAN ROGER CURRIE

1) Did you ever lie to any of these women, or mislead them, in regards to what your true needs, desires, interests, and intentions were? 2) Did you ever hesitate for more than a week before letting any of these women know what your true interests and intentions were? 3) Did you ever suppress satisfying your own emotional needs and egotistical desires for the sake of accommodating any of these women’s needs and desires? 4) Were you guilty of expressing your needs, desires, interests and intentions to these women in a manner that was confusing, vague, ambiguous, and/or not totally clear and specific? Once you answer these four questions, you’re free to proceed to Chapter Three.

36

CHAPTER THREE The Men who Exhibit Mode TWO Behavior: The “Pleasant Postponers” “It’s not normal to be honest. Normal people are concerned with figuring out the right thing to say that puts them in the best light. They want to live up to their own best guess about what the people they are talking to want to hear.” Dr. Brad Blanton, author of Radical Honesty: How To Transform Your Life By Telling The Truth

Mode Two Behavior. This is the behavior that is probably the most frequently exhibited towards women by single men than any of the other three "modes" of behavior.

Why?

Because most men have been

conditioned (see Chapter One) to leave women with a “good impression,” and to do and say those things that are most representative of being a gentleman.

These men want to maintain a positive,

favorable, wholesome reputation with just about every female they come in contact with. As I mentioned in the previous chapter, all behavior you exhibit towards others, and particularly women, is either strong or weak, and effective or ineffective. Mode Two Behavior is behavior that falls into the category of weak, but [usually] effective. Most men who exhibit Mode Two Behavior are reasonably confident, and possess a fairly high degree of 37

ALAN ROGER CURRIE

self-esteem. They are usually intelligent, social, and have a decent set of morals and values, as well as a pretty good sense of humor. WHY MODE TWO BEHAVIOR IS GENERALLY EFFECTIVE

When analyzing the “proactive” component of your behavior … the “how you behave towards women” aspect … Mode Two Behavior is reasonably effective. On the positive side, it is very hard to provoke any woman to become angry with you when you exhibit a Mode Two attitude and demeanor. Most women enjoy being around men who are a combination of entertaining, well-mannered, easy to get along with, and non-argumentative. More than likely, you won't do or say anything that will significantly challenge or frustrate a woman's ego. Therefore, it is inevitable that you will be liked by most women you acquaint yourself with. More often than not, women will want to share your company, converse with you on a regular or semi-regular basis, and will typically make an effort to develop a friendship with you. They will probably tell their girlfriends how "nice" you are, how much of a "gentleman" you are, and how personable you are. Mode Two Behavior is more desirable, and more effective, than Mode Three Behavior, because you are [eventually] honest about your true needs, desires, interests, and intentions. But on the downside, Mode Two Behavior is usually NOT as effective as Mode One Behavior, because you tend to reveal your needs, desires, interests, and intentions

38

MODE ONE

in a manner that is TOO SLOW, TOO CAUTIOUS, and TOO INDIRECT.

You tend to “beat-around-the-bush” quite frequently

because you're overly concerned with getting women to like you and making them feel highly comfortable in your presence prior to letting women know your real thoughts, and what you really want from them. WHY MODE TWO BEHAVIOR IS GENERALLY WEAK

Men who exhibit Mode Two Behavior tend to fall into the trap of engaging in too much pleasant and flattering small talk prior to letting a woman know what their true needs, desires, interests, and intentions are. This is why I refer to men who exhibit Mode Two Behavior as “The Pleasant Postponers”: They generally tend to delay, or postpone, revealing to women what their true thoughts and long-term objectives are. Plain and simply, men who exhibit Mode Two Behavior are guilty of talking too much. Television and film actor Ted Danson was asked one time in an interview, “What lessons did you learn about interacting with women while playing fun-loving womanizer ‘Sam Malone’ on NBC’s ‘Cheers’?” He replied, “not to talk so much.” He went on to say how he heard from many women that talking too much is one of the primary forms of behavior that diminishes your sex appeal.

As I

mentioned in Chapter Two, there is a difference between talking and [verbally] communicating.

39

ALAN ROGER CURRIE SOME CLASSIC MODE TWO SCENARIOS

One classic example of exhibiting Mode Two Behavior would be meeting a woman at a social gathering, and proceeding to engage in lighthearted ‘chit chat’ for a half hour, an hour, or longer. Then, at the very end of the conversation, you say something like, “you know what? I think we should get together sometime and go out dancing…” Of course, there’s a very good chance that she will reply, “[Your name], I think you’re a very NICE GUY … but I’m not really interested in you in ‘that way’…” CRUSHED!! Translation: She has all of the platonic interest in you that you could possibly want, but she has very little, if any, romantic and/or sexual interest in you. Another example would be, you meet a woman . . . ask for her phone number . . . invite her out on a dinner-movie date . . . talk to her a few times over the phone . . . go out on another dinner-movie or dinnerconcert date . . . and then . . . FINALLY . . . you communicate to her that “I’m attracted to you, and interested in spending more time with you…” Everything is going fine, right? WRONG. After a moment’s hesitation, she ends up telling you something along the lines of, “[Your name], I’ve had a very, very good time hanging out with you … I think you’re a very NICE GUY … but my ex-boyfriend ‘Chip’ (or Roscoe, or Biff, etc.) and I are getting back together very, very soon…” How do you feel? (okay, dumb question) You are TICKED OFF. You’re ANGRY. FRUSTRATED. Even BITTER. You spent all that time … 40

MODE ONE

all that money … expressed all that flattery … engaged in all of those entertaining small talk conversations … and what’s your reward? Another good, platonic female friend. Poor guy. Mode Two Behavior is EFFECTIVE because, usually, you tend to communicate why you really want to share a woman’s company; You’re reasonably honest when it comes to conveying your true needs, desires, interests, and long-term intentions to a woman. When it comes to the “proactive” component of your behavior, you get a “B+.” Your behavior towards women is usually conducive to sharing a woman’s company for at least a few days, a few weeks, if not more. The problem lies in the “responsive” component of your behavior. In other words, when it comes to how you allow women to behave towards you, you get anywhere from a C- to a D. In a nutshell, your behavior is WEAK. The primary reason why is that you’re too afraid of harsh, subjective criticism.

You’re afraid of being disliked by

women. As a consequence, your behavior becomes a combination of too lenient and too accommodating. Your behavior is too lenient because you do not force a woman to be specific and straightforward in regard to her needs, desires, interests, and intentions towards interacting with you. When you exhibit Mode Two Behavior, one of the mistakes you make is that you allow women

41

ALAN ROGER CURRIE

to remain too vague and ambiguous in respect to expressing their true thoughts with you. You never want a woman to operate in what I refer to as the “ambiguous zone.” When you do, platonic friendship is usually the best you can hope for. Similarly, you can never allow yourself to become too accommodating. What you’re guilty of is known as acquiescent behavior. Acquiescence means to basically become passive and submissive towards someone in a quiet, subtle manner. Remember the example I used in the previous chapter regarding personal principles and the use of drugs? This relates to the idea of being ‘too accommodating.’ Generally speaking, any time you violate one or more of your own personal principles and values for the sole and specific purpose of gaining a woman’s attention and interest, you’re being too accommodating. This brings me to the whole “he’s ‘too nice’” syndrome. How many times have you, or a buddy of yours, had the unfortunate (and frustrating) experience of having a woman tell one of her good friends, “I thought he was handsome … fun to be around … but he was just ‘too nice.’” When I was younger, I can name at least a dozen times when I had a woman lose interest in me because they perceived me as being ‘too nice.’

42

MODE ONE

What those women were really saying was that my behavior was too lenient and too accommodating. My behavior was not firm enough, or demanding enough. provocative enough.

Even more specifically, my behavior was not Most dictionaries define ‘provocative’ as

“arousing, or likely to arouse anger, interest, curiosity, or sexual desire.” If you want to have anything beyond a platonic friendship with a female, something about your conversations and interactions with women has to be, to some degree, provocative. THE MISTAKEN BELIEF MOST “NICE GUYS” HAVE

Men, I’m going to tell you a little ‘secret’ regarding your ability to generate interest from a woman:

You are more likely to generate

romantic and/or sexual interest from a woman by exhibiting behavior that is challenging and/or frustrating to her ego, than you will by exhibiting behavior that is pleasing and/or flattering to her ego. In order for there to be any romantic or sexual interest between a male and female, there has to be some degree of erotic tension. When you become interested in watching a good, dramatic television show, soap opera, or movie, it’s usually because there’s a high degree of tension in the story. No tension, no interest. I’m a screenwriter, and every workshop I’ve ever attended, or book I’ve read, emphasizes that there must be some degree of tension and/or conflict incorporated into

43

ALAN ROGER CURRIE

the story in order for it to be interesting. Believe it or not, it’s the same for maintaining interest in a male-female relationship. Most people look at tension as a ‘bad’ thing to have in a relationship. NOT TRUE. Many men and women confuse tension with animosity. These two terms are not the same thing. Animosity between a man and a woman is caused by expressing feelings of hatred or hostility; when your behavior is adversarial or antagonistic. Tension in a relationship on the other hand, is caused by feelings of intrigue, excitement, or suspense.

More specifically, ‘erotic tension’ is the direct result of

provocative behavior combined with a certain degree of egotistical frustration.

Erotic tension is almost a prerequisite for the

development of romantic and sexual interest. This is an important point to remember. In a matter of speaking, this is what causes most men to become “horny.” Most guys think you become horny when you’re looking at a porno movie, haven’t had sex in a while, or share the company of a woman dressed in a sexy outfit. Those are all factors that contribute to a feeling of horniness, but realistically, that’s not what really makes you horny (i.e. erotically aroused). Anytime a woman does something or says something that ignites erotic tension, you’re going to become horny.

Again, erotic tension comes from provocative behavior.

Provocative behavior comes from exhibiting behavior that does not

44

MODE ONE

‘spoil’ or over-flatter a woman’s ego.

Anytime you’re exhibiting

behavior that is too pleasing, flattering, and/or accommodating to a woman’s ego, then your behavior fails to be provocative. You cannot create erotic tension without provocative behavior. WHAT DOES EROTIC TENSION HAVE TO DO WITH COMMUNICATING?

Now I know many of you might be saying “What does developing erotic tension have to do with my verbal communication skills?” When it comes to attracting women’s interest, EVERYTHING. When your behavior is not provocative, you’re going to have an exceptionally hard time attracting and maintaining the romantic and sexual interest of a woman. When your behavior is weak, it’s not provocative. When your behavior is not provocative, women are going to generally view you as nothing more than a platonic friend. When it comes down to the nitty-gritty, the primary reason why most single men exhibit behavior that is ‘too nice,’ or very basic and conventional towards single women is because they’re afraid of revealing their sexuality to women too quickly. Just about all men who exhibit Mode Two Behavior are men who are dreadfully afraid of being labeled as ‘promiscuous,’ ‘kinky,’ ‘horny,’ ‘shallow,’ and/or ‘superficial.’ I can pretty much guarantee you that if you hypnotized any single man to always be open and honest about his sexual interests, there would be no such thing as Mode Two Behavior.

45

ALAN ROGER CURRIE

The reality is ALL HUMAN BEINGS ARE SEXUAL BEINGS. If you’re a biological creature, you have a sexual nature to you. There is nothing wrong or ‘shameful’ about having a desire to have sex with a woman. Dr. Blanton, in Radical Honesty makes a statement that “The problem with denying sexual energy is that, sooner or later, somehow or other, it has to be dealt with.” I know from taking a human sexuality class in college that most men who become “sexual perverts” are not men who always talk about sex in an open and honest manner. It’s JUST THE OPPOSITE. Most men who are perceived as ‘perverts’ are men who were conditioned to believe that sexual desire was associated with being a ‘bad,’ ‘naughty’ person.

They associate sex with

immorality. This is what causes that whole “he’s ‘too nice’” syndrome. In the same way there are men who are guilty of ‘overemphasizing’ sex, there are men who are guilty of ‘underemphasizing’ sex. Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that every man should approach women and immediately invite them to have sex on the first date. Most women won’t go for that. But at the same time, don’t go out of your way to suppress (or repress) your sexual energy and interests either. If I had to think of all of the women who I’ve met, who were initially interested in me, but days or weeks later, lost interest in me, it was typically those women who I ‘underemphasized’ my sexual desires and interests with. I would say probably 95-99% of the women who labeled me as ‘too

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MODE ONE

nice’ in the past were women who I very rarely, if ever, discussed anything related to sex with. Most men who exhibit Mode Two Behavior are generally those men who are afraid to bring the subject of sex and physical romance into the conversation too quickly or too frequently.

Mode Two men are

typically those who always want to make a “good impression” on a female; They always want to present themselves as a ‘good, wholesome, monogamous-minded gentleman.’ Just about every man I've talked to who frequently exhibited Mode Two Behavior, but was afraid to exhibit Mode One Behavior, it was usually because of a fear of being labeled as shallow, superficial, kinky, promiscuous, or “too sexually forward.” Just about all men who exhibit Mode Two Behavior ... deep down ... want to exhibit Mode One Behavior.

But they're too afraid of risking their reputation as a

“wholesome, well-mannered gentleman.” If you notice, most males who really don't care about having a wholesome, "gentleman-oriented" reputation, tend to NATURALLY exhibit Mode One Behavior.

Eddie Murphy, when he first gained

popularity, was like that. He was naturally bold, extremely confident, and unapologetically straightforward. He didn't really care if people perceived him as “wholesome” or “well-mannered.”

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ALAN ROGER CURRIE THE “DR. JEKYLL & MR. HYDE” SYNDROME

I can almost guarantee you that anytime you have a ‘bad’ experience with a woman after exhibiting Mode Two Behavior, you're going to SWITCH (either temporarily, or indefinitely) to a MODE FOUR STATE OF MIND. It's inevitable. That's the big weakness in Mode Two Behavior.

Anytime you exhibit Mode Two Behavior, you'll

remain happy and content as long as you're NOT being unfairly or harshly criticized, or not feeling disliked or unpopular with women. Mode Two men can handle being rejected in a nice, considerate manner (e.g., "I'm sorry ... you’re a really nice, sweet guy. A perfect gentleman. I just don’t think we have any romantic chemistry. You understand, don't you?"). They can even handle being ignored after the rejection, as long as they know that their reputation and image as a gentleman is still in tact. However, as soon as a woman says anything or does anything to threaten their wholesome, “good guy” reputation, or they take advantage of their leniency and overly accommodating behavior, it's “MODE FOUR, here I come...” Another problem with Mode Two Behavior, is that it is inherently MANIPULATIVE. Most Mode Two men don't CONSCIOUSLY or INTENTIONALLY set out to manipulate women, but that's what Mode Two Behavior really is: It's manipulative in a subtle, indirect manner. You'll recall from the previous chapter the two types of manipulative 48

MODE ONE

behavior that men exhibit: Offering tangible and intangible incentives and rewards in exchange for romantic and sexual companionship, OR exhibiting deceptive, misleading behavior in order to provoke a specific response. When you exhibit Mode Two Behavior, you're basically using pleasant, flattering behavior as an incentive to motivate the response you want from a woman. Subconsciously, what you're saying to her is "if I behave in a manner that's pleasing to you, I would hope that you would return the favor and eventually behave in a manner that is pleasing to me." I scratch your back, you scratch mine. Whether you agree with it or not, when you exhibit Mode Two Behavior, YOU'RE BEING MANIPULATIVE. Again, I don't think most Mode Two men are CONSCIOUSLY or INTENTIONALLY manipulative, but when it's all said and done, Mode Two Behavior is manipulative. Let's be honest: NO MAN IS AS GENUINELY WELL-MANNERED, or “WHOLESOME,” AS THEY PRETEND TO BE TOWARDS A NEW FEMALE ACQUAINTANCE. NO MAN. I will stand firm behind that opinion. Most men, particularly those whose mothers had a major influence on how they're "supposed to behave" towards women, tend to behave in a much more pleasant and flattering manner towards women in their early

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ALAN ROGER CURRIE

interactions with them. How many times have you heard a woman say "he was so nice to me when he first started pursuing my interest, but once we started dating, HE CHANGED...." No he didn't. He didn't change. HE FINALLY CHOSE TO REVEAL WHO HE REALLY WAS IN THE FIRST PLACE. Essentially, that's all Mode Two is: You're postponing revealing to a woman your true desires, interests, intentions, and character. Once you know that a woman is definitely interested in sharing your company in a romantic and/or sexual manner, that’s when you tend to reveal WHO YOU REALLY ARE. I once a had a masseuse tell me that “Your ‘real’ self is synonymous with your sexual self.” I would generally agree with that. Look in the dictionary for the formal definition of “sexual.” Most men would think to be ‘sexual’ means to make an effort to have sex with a woman. NOT TRUE.

That’s more so the definition of ‘sensual.’

The primary

definition of being ‘sexual’ means “of or relating to the sexes (males and females), or the expression of feelings between them” (Oxford American Dictionary). In other words, anytime you’re expressing your true thoughts and feelings to a woman, you’re being SEXUAL (again, not to be confused with “sensual”). I remember when I would engage in sexually provocative conversations with women, some of them would call me “mannish” (“Oh Alan … you’re so mannish!”) I always thought that to be ‘mannish’ meant to be

50

MODE ONE

‘kinky’ or ‘erotically naughty.’

Look in your dictionary:

To be

‘mannish’ means to “behave like a man.” While you’re examining the dictionary, look up the term “nice.” You know what it really means to be ‘nice’?? The Latin derivation of “nice” (nescius) means to be ignorant and foolish. The Middle English derivation of “nice” means to be strange and lazy (Oxford American College dictionary).

So,

when you’re attempting to be a Mode Two “nice guy,” you’re exhibiting behavior that is strange, lazy, ignorant, and foolish. Surprised? RECAP

•

When you exhibit Mode Two Behavior, your behavior is

generally effective, but weak. It is effective because you’re usually honest with women eventually about what your true needs, desires, interests, and intentions are, but your behavior is weak because your behavior is too lenient and too accommodating. • When you exhibit Mode Two Behavior, you tend to be deeply afraid of developing a ‘negative’ or ‘controversial’ reputation among women; More specifically, you’re afraid of engaging in any conversation or discussion that is related to your sexual desires, interests, and intentions.

Consequently, your behavior fails to

create erotic tension, and you tend to be perceived as ‘too nice’ by women (i.e., your behavior is not provocative).

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ALAN ROGER CURRIE

• There is an indirect, if not direct, correlation between a man’s level of honesty and sincerity with women, and his lack of fear of being criticized by women. Mode Two men are honest with women only when they’re confident that it will provoke a positive, enthusiastic response from women.

Mode Two men will be

‘pleasantly phony’ (i.e., “nice”) with women if they think it will prevent and/or avoid harsh, subjective criticism. •

Mode Two men are nicknamed “The Pleasant Postponers”

because they tend to delay, or postpone, letting women know what their true romantic and/or sexual needs, desires, interests, and intentions are; Mode Two men are specifically afraid of being perceived as “shallow,” “superficial,” “kinky,” “promiscuous,” and/or too sexually “forward.” As a result, they will usually wait until a woman perceives them as a “gentleman” before they express their what they’re REALLY thinking • Anytime you exhibit Mode Two Behavior, and you end up getting criticized or disrespected by a woman, your behavior is going to either temporarily or indefinitely switch to Mode Four Behavior. You will be perceived as having a “Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde” personality.

You will flip flop back and forth between “nice”

behavior and “mean” behavior with women.

52

MODE ONE

When I was younger, and more naive, I used to believe that a woman's compliments about my personality and behavior were synonymous with her interest in me. I used to really believe that if a woman had a dozen good things to say about me, that this meant that this woman was highly interested in me romantically and/or sexually. Every now and then, that was true, but more often than not, a woman’s compliments were not an accurate indicator of that woman's romantic or sexual interest in me. One thing is for sure: MOST PEOPLE IN GENERAL ARE GOING TO "LIKE YOU" AND SAY "GOOD THINGS" ABOUT YOU WHEN YOU'RE BEING VERY PLEASANT, FLATTERING, AND ACCOMMODATING TOWARDS THEM. they?

Why wouldn't

When you're exhibiting Mode Two Behavior, highly

manipulative women can easily take advantage of your time, your flattery, and many times, your money. There's really only one thing worse than exhibiting behavior that allows women to be phony, misleading, and manipulative towards you ... and that's to exhibit behavior in which YOU'RE BEING PHONY, DECEPTIVE, MISLEADING, and MANIPULATIVE TOWARDS THEM. With Mode Two, there's the high potential TO BE MISLED, but when you exhibit Mode Three Behavior, you're consciously attempting to MISLEAD THEM.

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ALAN ROGER CURRIE

Again, take out a pencil, and a piece of paper, and think about all of your “beliefs” associated with being perceived as “nice guy.” 1)

When you behaved like a “nice guy” (i.e., you were ‘well-

mannered, and went out of your way to avoid talking about anything erotic with a woman) with women, were your conversations with women always honest and sincere?? 2)

How do you generally respond to or react to subjective

criticisms?? Do you get egotistically sensitive?? Do you begin to resent the woman who is criticizing you?? 3) How many times have you given a woman the impression that she was the only woman you knew in which you were interested in dating and/or having sex with, when you knew that wasn’t the truth?? How many times have you been dishonest and/or insincere with a woman in order to maintain a ‘wholesome’ or ‘monogamous’ image?? Once you answer these three questions, you’re free to proceed to Chapter Four.

54

CHAPTER FOUR The Men who Exhibit Mode THREE Behavior: The “Phony Pretenders” “We lie to avoid whatever we perceive as dangerous – to our ego, to our comfort, to our safety. Most of us lie because our sense of safety and self-esteem depends on our feeling in control, in control of how other people react to us, of whether we appear smart or foolish, of whether we’ll get what we want.” Dr. Susan Campbell, author of Getting Real: 10 Truth Skills You Need To Live An Authentic Life

Mode Three Behavior. I would have to say, that out of all the four modes of verbal communication, Mode Three is probably the most pathetic. At least when you exhibit Mode Two Behavior, you're usually confident enough to approach a woman. You just don't have the guts to really be yourself, and express your needs, desires, interests, and intentions in an upfront, straight-to-the-point manner.

Many times,

when you're in a Mode Three frame of mind, you're usually too timid to even APPROACH A WOMAN. Fear rides you like a horse. Just about everything about you is fear-based, and consequently, phony and wimpy. Mode Three Behavior is both weak AND ineffective.

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ALAN ROGER CURRIE WHY MODE THREE BEHAVIOR IS INEFFECTIVE

Most men who exhibit Mode Three Behavior generally have a less-thanaverage degree of self-confidence and self-esteem.

They are often

perceived as either “shy,” “introverted,” excessively flattering, indecisive, “wishy washy,” and/or generally dishonest. Why? When I was in my early twenties, my brother Stephen told me “never allow yourself to want a woman ‘too badly’.” At the time he gave me that piece of advice, I didn’t really fully comprehend the meaning of it. As time passed though, and I became wiser and more mature, I began to understand what was meant by his statement. To want a woman’s attention and companionship ‘too badly’ means you’re willing to do practically ANYTHING to gain and maintain a woman’s interest. In the long-run, that is not a good thing. When you’re willing to compromise your personal principles and values, or worse, sacrifice your sense of dignity and self-respect, for the sake of attracting a woman’s interest, this would be representative of wanting a woman’s attention and companionship ‘too badly.’ This is the primary cause of Mode Three Behavior. When you want to attract a woman’s interest ‘too badly,’ you tend to become more afraid of being rejected and/or ignored by that female. Consequently, the more afraid you are of being rejected or ignored, the more likely you are to 56

MODE ONE

exhibit behavior that will prevent and avoid such responses.

And

ultimately, this is what corrupts and weakens your character. There are actually two sub-categories of Mode Three men: On one end, you have what I will call “The Timids”; “Timids” are those Mode Three men who have NO BALLS. They have so little confidence in their social skills with women, and such a low degree of courage, that they very rarely, if ever, even attempt to approach a woman. “Timids” are DREADFULLY AFRAID of rejection. Another sub-group of Mode Three men would be “The Targets”; “Targets” are basically Mode Three men with money, material possessions, and social connections. Manipulative women who are gold diggers love “Targets.” A “Target” is the type of guy who will buy women expensive gifts on a regular basis, pay their rent, finance their education, and anything else that

money

can

buy.

“Targets”

never

ATTRACT

COMPANIONSHIP ... they simply BUY IT. TIMIDS

“Timids” are usually men who were probably considered "nerds" or "geeks" in high school and/or college.

Their perception of

THEMSELVES is so poor, and so weak, to the point that they really don't look at themselves as being romantically or sexually desirable in any way to women. Therefore, they just take themselves off of the playing field completely. They shy away from even conversing or interacting with women. The only women with whom they will halfway

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ALAN ROGER CURRIE

interact with, are those women who basically approach them first, and express some sort of romantic and/or sexual interest in them first. Even then, they tend to harbor a "why would this woman be interested in ME?" attitude. Poor guys. TARGETS

“Targets” are nothing more than former “Timids” who now have achieved a high degree of career success and financial success. A “Target” is nothing more than a Mode Three Loser with money. They don't have the confidence to approach women, and attract women, with their looks, intelligence, or personal charm. Instead, they use things like a nice, expensive luxury car, or a big expensive house in order to attract a woman's attention.

Two thirds or more of their

conversations with women will usually center around WHAT THEY OWN, HOW MUCH MONEY THEY MAKE, and/or WHAT THEY'VE ACCOMPLISHED CAREER-WISE. If you see a guy at a restaurant with three beautiful women at the table with him, don't be too quick to say "Oh ... he must've used Mode One Behavior!" Not necessarily. A Mode Three man could know a lot of women, and even go out on dates with a lot of women, but it comes at a steep price. Many times, a Mode Three man will spend hundreds, if not thousands of dollars on women who he is not even dating or having sex with. They just want "the appearance" of being popular with women.

58

MODE ONE

Mode Three men are notorious for excessive and/or insincere flattery, expensive wining & dining, going out of their way to impress women, and even many times, exhibiting submissive and deferential behavior towards women. Mode Three men have a VERY LOW degree of self-confidence and self-esteem. It would not be uncommon for a Mode Three man to start a conversation by saying, “You know I have an MBA from Harvard don't you...” SOME CLASSIC MODE THREE SCENARIOS

One classic example of exhibiting Mode Three Behavior as a “Timid” (i.e., a Mode Three Loser with absolutely no courage) would be attending a social function that you were invited to, and then proceeding to play the role of “wallflower.” You see a number of women with whom you find physically attractive, but at no time during this social function do you make an attempt to introduce yourself to any of these desirable females. Your shyness, which is the result of your fears, insecurities, and low self-esteem, paralyzes you from taking action. Poor guy. If you’re exhibiting Mode Three Behavior as a “Target” (i.e., a Mode Three Loser with money and social status), you would probably muster up enough courage to at least talk to women you’re interested in, but you would immediately let it be known that you “don’t want anything from them.” Just about your whole conversation with women would revolve around pretentious, uninteresting small talk. You would never

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ALAN ROGER CURRIE

even dare express your romantic and/or sexual desires, interests, and intentions to a woman in an honest, upfront, straight-to-the-point manner. You wouldn’t even express your interests in a roundabout manner. You will simply hide or camouflage what your true interests are, unless that female expresses similar interests first. Otherwise, you will highlight everything you’ve accomplished and achieved in your life throughout your conversation with women, in an attempt to impress them. If you’re at a bar or restaurant, you will immediately offer to pay for the women’s drinks and food. Soon, if they take the bait, you will be ‘wining & dining’ one or more of these women for days, weeks, or months. I actually would blame Mode Three men, and “Targets” in particular, on why there are so many spoiled, highly manipulative gold diggers in society. Because they have no real confidence, they use their finances and material possessions as their #1 source of confidence and selfesteem. “Targets” have what’s known as false confidence. And consequently, gold digging, manipulative women become accustomed to having their way with these types of men. When you exhibit Mode Three Behavior, you can be very easily manipulated, if not flat out dominated, by women. Mode Three Behavior is almost totally predicated on FEAR. And like I pointed out in previous chapters, there is a direct correlation

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MODE ONE

between how fearful you are, and how manipulative you are. The more afraid you are of straightforwardly expressing to people what it is you want from them, the more likely you are to attempt to manipulate them in order to get it. No one represents this more than a man who exhibits Mode Three Behavior. The primary reason why Mode Three men can be so easily manipulated is because THEY ARE TRYING TO MANIPULATE WOMEN THEMSELVES.

Like I said in Chapter Two:

MANIPULATION IS ALWAYS A TWO-WAY STREET. The more you attempt to manipulate someone, the more you open yourself up to BE MANIPULATED.

Whereas a Mode Two man will simply

postpone expressing his true desires and intentions, a Mode Three man will indefinitely HIDE them, DENY them, or CAMOUFLAGE them. He doesn't want his true desires and intentions being known, because he's too afraid that they won't be reciprocated. “Timids” are deeply afraid of being rejected; “Targets” are deeply afraid of being ignored. Anytime you allow yourself to become highly afraid of either one, you will find yourself exhibiting Mode Three Behavior. You will generally come across to women as phony, wimpy, hypocritical,

two-faced,

sneaky,

conniving,

manipulative,

and

insincerely flattering. Women basically despise you and/or feel sorry

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ALAN ROGER CURRIE

for you, but again, if you have wealth, status, and material possessions, they will pretend as though they are interested in you. Mode Three Behavior is INEFFECTIVE because you’re willing to exhibit deceitful and/or manipulative behavior in order to secure a woman’s attention and companionship. If you’re really interested in a short-term, casual sex relationship, you will “pretend” as though you’re interested in a long-term, serious romantic relationship. If you’re really interested in a romantic relationship, you will “pretend” as though you’re totally content with just a good, platonic friendship.

Why?

Because you’re afraid that whatever your interests are, they won’t be reciprocated. That’s why I refer to men who exhibit Mode Three Behavior as the “Phony Pretenders.” WHY MODE THREE BEHAVIOR IS WEAK

To compound the criticisms of why Mode Three Behavior is ineffective towards accomplishing your objectives, it is also weak in regard to how you allow women to behave towards you. In the previous chapter, I said that a man exhibiting Mode Two Behavior would receive a letter grade that is anywhere from a “C- to a D.” For those who exhibit Mode Three Behavior, you would probably receive a D- or an F. Because of your deep, profound fear of being rejected and/or ignored, you will do practically ANYTHING to maintain a woman’s attention and companionship, including allowing yourself to be treated in a highly undesirable, disrespectful manner.

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MODE ONE

Earlier in this chapter, I talked about the concept of wanting a woman’s attention ‘too badly.’ How many times have you heard one or more of your male friends say something along the lines of, “I would do anything to date her!” or “I would give anything to have sex with her just one time!” Once you allow yourself to adopt attitudes such as these, you’re setting yourself up to become a loser with women. It’s actually these very attitudes that cause anger, egotistical frustration, and misogynistic bitterness later on. The reason being is that anytime you’re willing to violate one or more of your personal principles and values for the sake of attracting a woman’s attention, or worse, you’re willing to allow yourself to be disrespected and treated like crap in order to gain some measure of attention from a woman, at some point your ego is going to kick in. First regret sets in, then frustration, then anger. Write this down so you can remember it, and repeat it to yourself: NO WOMAN’S ATTENTION or COMPANIONSHIP IS WORTH SACRIFICING YOUR SENSE OF DIGNITY, PERSONAL HONOR, or SELF-RESPECT FOR. Did you see the movie Braveheart? Mel Gibson’s character, Scottish warrior William Wallace, was willing to die . . . DIE . . . rather than compromise his principles and values, or sacrifice his sense of dignity, personal honor, and self-respect.

Think about that. This guy was

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ALAN ROGER CURRIE

willing to sacrifice his LIFE, rather than allow himself to be treated like a disrespected, subservient slave. This is the problem with most, if not all men, who exhibit Mode Three Behavior on a regular basis. Your behavior is obsequious. Obsequious means that you’re too anxious and overeager to please someone, serve someone, and/or obey someone. A Mode Three man tends to fawn over women (i.e., you attempt to attract attention from women, and favor from women, by excessively playing up to their egos). THIS IS WHY MODE THREE BEHAVIOR IS WEAK. Even ‘weaker’ than Mode Two Behavior. Right now, I'm going to take the time to address a common misperception of Mode One Behavior. There have been some women, who've read my original manuscript, that made the comment that "Alan, it sounds as if you're against men flattering women, or just being platonic friends with women." THIS IS NOT TRUE. I have nothing against a man expressing an occasional compliment, or maintaining a platonic relationship with a woman, if it’s mutual and reciprocated. I do not believe in ‘non-reciprocal’ flattery. Anytime you’re constantly playing up to a woman’s ego, but that same woman very rarely, if ever, flatters your ego, that is what’s referred to (in urban slang) as “jocking” a woman. Similarly, I'm against men PRETENDING to be content with just a "platonic" friendship, when they know deep down that they want more than that. That's the biggest scheme of a Mode Three man (Timids and Targets): They will usually indefinitely PRETEND as

64

MODE ONE

though they're happy "just being your friend," but in reality, they are dying to date you, or have sex with you. BUT THEY DON'T HAVE THE BALLS TO TELL YOU. Like I said, even though I have some major criticisms of Mode Four Behavior, I think exhibiting Mode Three Behavior is WORSE. Mode Three is the worst of the four modes. Everything about you is NOT REAL.

You're not honest, you're not straightforward, you're not

confident, and you're not trustworthy. You are a TOTAL VERBAL WIMP. HOW INVALID BELIEFS LEAD TO EGOTISTICAL INSECURITY

The biggest obstacle that Mode Three men have to overcome is egotistical insecurity.

What is it that actually causes egotistical

insecurity? I would say the starting point, or core, of all egotistical insecurities is invalid beliefs and/or false assumptions.

More

specifically, you have a misconception about what is desirable to women, and what is not. First of all though, what is an insecurity? An insecurity is a perception within your own mind that an attribute or characteristic you possess is not quite “up to par,” so to speak. For example, if it is your belief that all women are attracted to men who are six feet tall, or taller, then you’re going to become insecure if you stand at a height of 5’8”. If it is your belief that a high salary is the #1

65

ALAN ROGER CURRIE

thing that attracts the interest of a woman, then you’re going to feel insecure anytime you’re in the company of another man who is earning more money than you. The key to remember is that all insecurities begin, and end, in your own mind. Now if a woman specifically informs you herself of her particular tastes and preferences in men, all you can do is accept them, and if you don’t fit the bill, move on. If a woman says “I only like men who drive European cars,” and you’re driving an American car, what can you do?

Realistically though, most men make

assumptions about what women find desirable, and what they don’t find desirable. Anytime you ‘compare’ what you have to offer women, with what other men have to offer women, you’re setting yourself up to develop a number of egotistical insecurities. This is why you should never base your sense of self-confidence and self-esteem on one specific thing. For example, if 90% of your self-esteem is based on your looks, guess what’s going to happen if you’re in the company of another man who you perceive as more handsome than you? You’re going to feel very insecure. Same thing goes for your level of wealth, your sense of humor, your level of education, your degree of career success, and so on and so on. Your confidence and self-esteem has to come from your “total package.” Every quality about you combined together should be

66

MODE ONE

the basis for your sense of confidence and self-esteem, not just one particular attribute. RECAP

•

When you exhibit Mode Three Behavior, your behavior is

generally weak AND ineffective. It is weak because you’re willing to do anything to attract and maintain the interest of a woman, even if it means allowing yourself to be used, manipulated, or disrespected.

It is ineffective because you typically hide, deny,

and/or camouflage your true needs, desires, interests, and intentions from a woman, primarily because you’re afraid that they won’t be satisfied and reciprocated. • When you exhibit Mode Three Behavior, you tend to be deeply afraid of being rejected and/or ignored. Those Mode Three men who are more so afraid of rejection are known as “Timids”; These men very rarely, if ever, will even muster up enough courage to even approach a woman. Those Mode Three men who are more so afraid of being ignored are known as “Targets”; These men use their accomplishments and material possessions as the primary basis for their conversations with women. • “Targets” will typically share the company of attractive, desirable women, but not those who have a genuine interest in them.

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ALAN ROGER CURRIE

“Targets” usually attract manipulative, materialistic women who are only interested in taking advantage of a man’s money, material possessions, and social connections. •

Mode Three men are nicknamed “The Phony Pretenders”

because they will frequently ‘pretend’ to have a platonic interest in a woman, when deep down, their interest is romantic and/or sexual. • Anytime you exhibit Mode Three Behavior, it’s primarily because you’re egotistically insecure. Egotistical insecurities are usually the result of invalid beliefs and assumptions that you have developed over the years.

Insecurities result from what you assume is

desirable and undesirable to women. When you base your selfconfidence and self-esteem on one particular characteristic or attribute, you’re more likely to become insecure. Mode Three Behavior should be avoided as much as possible. Women don't respect men who exhibit Mode Three Behavior, and other men don't respect men who exhibit Mode Three Behavior. Don't allow yourself to become a woman's monetary play toy!! If you're a "Timid" ... take inventory of what you have to offer, and GROW SOME BALLS. If you're a "Target," quit trying to impress women with your level of wealth and/or material possessions in an attempt to

68

MODE ONE

“purchase” their companionship. THAT IS WEAK. You look pathetic and desperate. "What if I've been dumped on after using Mode Two AND Mode Three??

What if I've been taken advantage of so many times by

women, that I have nothing but hurt feelings and bitter resentment?? What's that called when you feel horrible like I do???" That's called Mode Four Behavior. Uh oh. Before you proceed to Chapter Five, please honestly answer the following questions: 1)

What characteristic about yourself makes you feel the most

confident and egotistically secure? (e.g., your looks, your intelligence, your career status, etc.) On the flip side, what characteristic do you possess that you perceive as being undesirable to women?? Did you assume this, or did women specifically tell you that this attribute was undesirable to them?? 2) Think of one or more women from your past that you “pretended” to have nothing more than a platonic interest in, but deep down, you had a romantic and/or sexual interest in them. What most prevented you from revealing your true feelings?

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ALAN ROGER CURRIE

3)

How many times have you conversed with a woman, and

primarily emphasized your educational and career accomplishments and/or your financial status and materialistic possessions in order to increase a woman’s interest in you??

Why did you feel it was

necessary to do this?? Once you answer these three questions, you’re free to proceed to Chapter Five.

70

CHAPTER FIVE The Men who Exhibit Mode FOUR Behavior: The “Misogynistic Revenge Seekers” “Look at the weaknesses of others with compassion, not accusation. It’s not what they’re not doing or should be doing that’s the issue. The issue is your own chosen response to the situation and what you should be doing. If you start to think the problem is ‘out there,’ stop yourself. That thought is the problem.” Dr. Steven R. Covey, author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

Mode Four Behavior. Well, well, well. You met some women, and you were too quickly impressed with their looks, intelligence, level of education, and/or degree of career success, so you found yourself exhibiting Mode Two Behavior. Eventually, you got treated like a platonic friend, and when you tried to be more romantic or sexual, you got CRITICIZED. Or, you met some women, and you were too easily intimidated by those same qualities, and you found yourself exhibiting Mode Three Behavior. And you got used, dominated, manipulated, and then IGNORED. Now you are TICKED OFF. When a man finds himself in a state of mind where he is seething with anger, engulfed with bitterness, and overflowing with

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egotistical frustration, there's only one remedy he can think of: MODE FOUR BEHAVIOR. "Dr. Jekyll" turns into "Mr. Hyde," and the dark side is unleashed (think about any serial killer who targets women, or any rapist ... Mode Four Behavior at it's worst). You can almost bet your mortgage that if you see a man exhibiting some variation of Mode Four Behavior towards a woman, at some point in his past, he either consistently behaved in a Mode Two manner and/or a Mode Three manner. He wanted a specific, desirable response from a number of females, but failed to get them. Men who exhibit Mode Four Behavior towards women could care less now about actually attracting a woman's romantic or sexual interest. They're past that point. They want emotional and egotistical REVENGE.

Their feelings of

vengeance are DEEP, and can be directed at two or three females in particular, or the whole female gender in general. WHY MODE FOUR BEHAVIOR IS INEFFECTIVE

Most men who exhibit Mode Four Behavior usually possess a high degree of very misogynistic attitudes towards women. They are still physically and sexually aroused by women, but they do not respect them as human beings. They literally despise women. When it comes to interacting with women, they have a “chip on their shoulder.” Unlike Mode Two Behavior, you don't fear being criticized or disliked, because you've ALREADY BEEN CRITICIZED and DISLIKED too 72

MODE ONE

many times. It doesn't faze you anymore. Now, to a large degree, YOU WANT TO BE DISLIKED. You want women harshly criticizing you and calling you insulting names.

Similarly, unlike Mode Three

Behavior, you no longer fear being rejected or ignored. You're to a point now where you almost DARE a woman to reject you. You practically dare a woman to ignore you. No more "Mr. Nice Guy" for you. Your specific, motivated purpose for interacting with women is to HURT THEIR FEELINGS and BRUISE THEIR EGOS. You now actually GAIN PLEASURE and SATISFACTION from knowing that women can't stand you and bad mouth you to friends. YOU DON'T GIVE A DAMN ANYMORE. A CLASSIC MODE FOUR SCENARIO

You invested time, effort, flattery, and small talk pursuing a woman’s attention and interest, only to have this same woman inform you on your third date with her that she’s getting back with her ex-boyfriend. Matter of fact, you went on three dates and didn’t even get a kiss. You did your best to move on to the next woman, but similar scenarios unfolded at least four to five more times. CLASSIC MODE TWO RESULTS. You’re angry … you’re bitter. You lay low socially for two or three months, but it just so happens that you run into one of the women with whom you had a Mode Two dinner-movie date with while shopping in the neighborhood grocery

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store. Initially, you’re reluctant to speak, because your mind is still full of frustration from her treating you like a platonic friend, but because she looks good in that tight, short skirt she’s wearing, you go ahead and say something. She feigns as if she doesn’t remember you (she does), but eventually utters the classic phony response, “ohh … I remember you now….” OUCH. You two talk about what’s been happening in your lives the past two to three months, and she mentions that she now lives just two blocks away from where you currently reside. Like an idiot who’s forgotten the past, you ask her for her new number (remember, she already played you like two-day old ground beef once). She replies, “well … I don’t know … (pause) Why don’t you give me YOUR number …” You: “I thought you had my number … you had it before …” Her: “That’s right. I don’t think I have it though. (she’s lying. She has your number … she just hasn’t been motivated to use it. But right now, she’s pulling an ‘egotistical power play’ on you to see if you’re going to give up the digits; if you do, she knows she has the egotistical “upper hand” in the manipulative “head games” that you two are engaging in) Can you give it to me again??” You think for a moment, and like a desperate idiot, you provide her with your home phone number for the second time in less than four months.

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MODE ONE

Two weeks have passed. No call. Your sense of desperation for her attention leads you to call her old phone number, and to your surprise, they offer a forwarding number (her new number that she wouldn’t offer you in the grocery store). You call. She picks up the phone. As soon as she recognizes your voice, she says “How did you get my number??” You say something stupid like, “Oh … I have my ways.” Immediately, she tells you that she has her Uncle Chester on the other line (she’s lying … she would never talk to an ‘Uncle Chester’). Three more weeks pass. No call. You call her again and leave an extra long voice mail message explaining that you’re not trying to hook up with her for the sake of a “date” or anything romantic. You say “I JUST WANT TO HANG OUT WITH YOU AS FRIENDS.” MODE THREE BEHAVIOR AT IT’S BEST (or worst). Well, that message might have done the trick. The next day, she calls back, engages you in some entertaining small talk, and invites you to a get-together she’s having this upcoming weekend. She says, “Since we’re just friends, I see no reason why you can’t come over and hang out…” If you truly just want to be ‘just friends’ with her, then Jennifer Lopez and Halle Berry have problems attracting men. Yeah, okay. Riiiiiiiight..

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The weekend comes, you go over to her place, and there’s about fifteen to twenty other guests there. You mingle and engage in … ugh … small talk. You see a guy there who you know from the health club. You guys get to talking, and you mention that you and the host of the party (your ‘good buddy’!!) went out on a few dates two to three months ago. Surprisingly, he says, “I bet she turned you out didn’t she!!” You’re stumped. What is he talking about? “I mean … that girl is a FREAK. She loves to have sex in every room she possibly can…” You are in a state of shock. You foolishly confess “Man, … I didn’t even get as much as a kiss…” Your health club buddy laughs uncontrollably. “Are you serious?!?!” he inquires. You have a look of frustration and embarrassment. He continues with “man, I was in bed with her on the FIRST DATE. I know at least three or four other guys that ‘tapped that ass’ (i.e., had sex with her) within a week after they met her…” Needless to say, the way you’re feeling, this is the last thing you needed to hear. Guess what’s starting to fester inside of you? Exactly. MODE FOUR BEHAVIOR. You are now on a mission to achieve some emotional and/or egotistical revenge.

Instead of leaving the party when the

majority of the guests do, you manage to find a way to ‘hang around.’ Now it’s just the host, and one of her girlfriends. Of course, she’s like “are you still here?? the party is pretty much over.” Like you care. She gives you subtle hints that she’s ready for you to leave, but you

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choose to ignore them. Finally, you make up this ridiculous story that your shower is broke, and can you use her shower. She’s like “oh HELL no…” BUT … to your surprise… her one remaining girlfriend says “oh what the hell! Go ahead and let him use your shower….” So much for small favors. She reluctantly hands you a towel and a washcloth, and says “go for it.” You actually pretend as though you really need to take a shower (classic Mode Three Behavior). You take your shower, then get out of the shower, and wrap the towel around your waist. Since you’ve been working out at the gym, you decide to walk in her living room wearing just the towel. The host looks at you as if you’ve lost your DAMN MIND (but her not-soattractive friend is smiling flirtatiously at you). The host curiously asks, “Why are you standing there in just a towel?!?” Suddenly, you lose all your sense of rational thinking, and let the towel drop to the ground. The host immediately jumps up, turns her back to you, and demands that you get your clothes and leave (but her friend stares at your manhood … too bad she’s not your type). The host threatens to call the police if you don’t leave within the next five minutes. Uh oh. “Dr. Jekyll” is about to unleash “Mr. Hyde” … Mode Four Behavior takes over.

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Anger and bitterness overwhelms your emotions, and suddenly you angrily ask, “So what’s up with you anyway????” Her: “What do you mean, ‘what’s up with me?’ … what in the hell is up with YOU?!?” You: “Why you tryin’ to play me??? … I already know you’re a freak … you’ve fu**ed every handsome guy you’ve met … but you play me like the ‘nice guy’ chump. What’s up with that?!?!” Now you’ve done it. She picks up the phone and calls the police. You finally decide to get your clothes and get out of there. But not before you leave her with a few choice words. “Yeah, … I’ll go ahead and leave … you fu**in’ BITCH!!!!” Mode Four is controlling your behavior, and you’ve lost it. Now you might be reading this, and saying to yourself, “I’ve never lost it like that. . .” Maybe YOU haven’t, but plenty of guys have. I’ve heard a number of men and women share with me their “Mode Four horror stories.” Matter of fact, I know a female friend of mine in Dallas told me about how a neighbor of hers used the “my shower is broken” routine to try to seduce her, because he heard another male neighbor had sex with her fairly quickly.

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MODE ONE WHY DOES ANGER & FRUSTRATION CAUSE MODE FOUR BEHAVIOR?

When a man chooses to exhibit Mode Four Behavior towards a woman, he fools himself into believing that he's been mistreated because "all women are bitches!" and "women are nothing but scandalous, untrustworthy whores!" The last woman you interacted with "dogged you," "dissed you," and didn't treat you with any respect. Realistically, the majority of your anger and frustration is NOT directed at the women in your past.

Deep down, subconsciously, it's directed at

YOURSELF. Here's the REAL DEAL: You are mad at yourself for failing to be your REAL, TRUE SELF from Day One. That's the REAL issue. You're frustrated that you failed to express your real needs, desires, interests, and intentions in a confident, upfront, and straightforward manner in your first conversation/early interactions with women. You knew when you first met that last female who "took advantage of you" that you wanted to date her, or have casual sex with her. Instead of being provocatively straightforward and upfront, you delayed the process ... and then when you finally did express what was really on your mind, you expressed yourself in an overly cautious, indirect, "beataround-the-bush" type manner [Mode Two Behavior]; Or, even worse, you spent days, weeks, or even months and years PRETENDING that you were content with being "just friends," when all the while you knew that you wanted to exchange pleasurable orgasms with this woman. At 79

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some point though, you probably tried to get sexual with her through some sneaky, deceptive, manipulative "scheme," but you failed, and you failed MISERABLY [Mode Three Behavior]. Now, you're ANGRY. You're BITTER. You're EGOTISTICALLY FRUSTRATED. You want REVENGE. Shame, shame, shame. WHY MODE FOUR BEHAVIOR IS STRONG

Despite the fact that Mode Four Behavior is ineffective, Mode Four Behavior is actually representative of ‘strong’ behavior. When you’re exhibiting Mode Four Behavior, no woman can use you, manipulate you, or waste your time. Your anger causes you to become very firm in your personal principles. When you’re angry, you don’t care about other people’s subjective criticisms and opinionated perceptions of you. That’s the least thing on your mind. And that’s a good thing. The problem is that you allowed yourself to get to this point in the first place.

Mode Four Behavior could have been prevented.

THINK

ABOUT IT. Are you beginning to understand who and what is your worst enemy?

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MODE ONE RECAP

•

When you exhibit Mode Four Behavior, your behavior is

generally strong, but ineffective.

It is strong because you’re

expressing what’s really on your mind, and that alone makes it hard for people to manipulate you and/or disrespect you. You’re being guided by your own personal principles. It is ineffective because most of what you’re expressing is “after-the-fact” information; Because you weren’t upfront with your real needs, desires, interests, and intentions, you’re now bitter because you know for a fact that they won’t be satisfied or reciprocated. • When you exhibit Mode Four Behavior, your main focus is not on gaining a woman’s attention or interest, but rather or gaining some measure of emotional and/or egotistical ‘revenge.’ Your primary objective is to hurt a woman’s feelings, or bruise her ego. • When you exhibit Mode Four Behavior, you tend to fool yourself into believing that all women are ‘no good,’ but in reality, their behavior towards you has very little to do with your anger and resentment.

Deep down, subconsciously, you’re angry at

YOURSELF for not being your REAL self. You either temporarily (Mode Two) or indefinitely (Mode Three) expressed thoughts and feelings that were not truly representative of your needs, desires,

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interests, and intentions, and now you’re frustrated that you weren’t honest and upfront from Day One. •

Mode Four men are nicknamed “The Misogynistic Revenge

Seekers” because they have reached a point emotionally where they despise and disrespect women. They are still attracted to women physically and sexually, but they hate women as human beings. They want women to criticize them and hate them back. In a lot of ways, you can look at Mode Four Behavior as “after-the-fact” Mode One Behavior. Once a woman has already criticized you … already expressed that she dislikes you … already has rejected you … or already has blown you off and ignored you … THEN … all of the sudden you get the guts to express your thoughts, opinions, and objectives in a blunt, straight-to-the-point, unapologetic manner. But by then, it’s ineffective, and more importantly ... it’s too late. So you now want me to tell you that Mode One Behavior is the “perfect” behavior to exhibit. That all women will automatically love you, adore you, and desire you when you exhibit Mode One Behavior … right? Wrong. There are some women who actually DESPISE the use of Mode One Behavior. “Who?” You guessed it. HIGHLY MANIPULATIVE WOMEN.

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MODE ONE

Before you proceed to Chapter Six though, please honestly answer the following questions: 1) What women from your past left you feeling so angry, frustrated, and bitter that you wanted to do anything possible to make them feel like crap?? (i.e., you wanted some emotional and/or egotistical “revenge”) 2) What has generally been your #1 subjective criticism of women in general?? (for example, “They’re too materialistic…” or “They’re too hypocritical…” or “They’re too moody…”; Be as specific as possible.) 3) How many times have you specifically tried to get a woman to ‘dislike’ you??

Think of at least two or three women who you

actually wanted to criticize you or say bad things about you. Why?? Once you answer these three questions, you’re free to proceed to Chapter Six. .

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CHAPTER SIX Casual Sex VS Relationships: “Wholesome Pretenders” and “Erotic Hypocrites” “Most women love sex just as much as men, if not more. Many women are just as sexually uninhibited as a lot of the kinky men out there. The problem is, men are admired and patted on the back when they successfully seduce a lot of women; Women are usually ‘looked down on,’ criticized, and made to feel like whores if they reveal that they’ve enjoyed sexual pleasure with someone other than their boyfriend, fiancé, or husband. It’s unfair, but that’s life.” A female friend of mine from college

Sex. If men and women were socialized in the exact same manner regarding their attitudes towards sexual relations, our dialogue with each other would probably be a lot more honest, and a lot less manipulative. Men would probably be a lot more honest and straightforward with women regarding their sexual desires and interests, particularly as it relates to their desire for casual sex. Then again, there have actually been studies conducted that revealed that men in serious relationships, or even married men, are many times close-mouthed when it comes to expressing their thoughts and desires related to sex. Why? Nobody likes to be judged. What many men fail to consciously realize is that we indirectly cause women to behave in a manipulative manner

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MODE ONE

towards us when we create these “good girl” vs. “bad girl” distinctions. Most women who aspire to have a high quality, monogamous husband want to be known as a “good girl.” The problem is, sometimes their hormones and libidos don’t cooperate in assisting them towards maintaining that “wholesome” image and reputation. Many times, we as men tend to possess this hypocritical double-standard that women should be more self-controlled sexually than us. They should be able to resist the temptation of casual, promiscuous sex much easier than us. Some women can. Others cannot. Women know that many men are reluctant to marry a woman who has a history of too many “one-night stands” and/or “casual flings.” Some men will meet a woman, try their best to seduce them into having sex as quickly as possible, and if these women resist, they’ll leave them alone. They will treat them as though they’re ‘prudish’ or ‘boring.’ On the other hand, if these same women give in too quickly, they eventually become known as a “ho” or a “freak” among the men’s buddies. Some women see this as a no-win situation, so what’s their next step? To lead a “double life.” To become misleading and deceptive regarding their sexual behavior, as well as their sexual history. You see, men don’t share this same pressure to be a “good boy.” I know from both experience and observation that a man’s level of desirability as a potential husband or boyfriend doesn’t suffer nearly as

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much as a result of some past episodes of kinky, casual, promiscuous sex. I’ve actually heard men say things like “I’d rather marry a woman who had sex with ten ‘ex-boyfriends’ than marry a woman who had five ‘one-night stands’…” It’s these attitudes by men who give birth to two types of manipulative women:

Wholesome Pretenders [WPs] and

Erotic Hypocrites [EHs]. These types of women actually despise Mode One Behavior. WHOLESOME PRETENDERS

A “Wholesome Pretender” [WP] is a type of manipulative female who likes to “have her cake and eat it too.” This is a woman who will generally give off the public impression that she is innocent, wholesome, virtuous, and all about monogamous relationships. She wants

to

receive

that

“I-will-only-have-sex-with-you-within-the-

context-of-a-serious-relationship” respectability.

These women will

have you believing that their middle name is “Chastity.” WPs will make a habit out of feigning embarrassment over the mere mention of something sexually raunchy. They will blush when you say the “F” word. They will give you the false impression that their most glaring virtues are their indefinite sense of sexual self-control, their erotic patience and conservatism, and virgin-like prudence. Most men who exhibit Mode Two Behavior and Mode Three Behavior will typically put these women on a pedestal. In their naivety, they will

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MODE ONE

often times fall for the WP façade. What these men don’t consistently realize, is that a WP’s public image is far different than their ‘behindclosed-doors’ persona. WPs probably know more sexual positions than the average man. They can express better “dirty pillow talk” than you. They’ve probably had just as many, if not more, “casual flings” as you have. But they know how to keep their sexual history discreetly private. Why do Wholesome Pretenders despise Mode One Behavior? Because when a man expresses his sexual desires and interests to them in a totally confident, upfront, and unapologetically straight-to-the-point manner, a WP has no choice but to have one of two reactions: a) to pretend as though you’re ‘offending them,’ and ‘turning them off’ (you’re not) by being so ‘forward’ with your interests, but then they risk missing out on the opportunity for some sexual companionship they may enjoy; OR b) to immediately acknowledge that they have the same exact erotic desires and interests as you do, but then they risk ruining their public reputation as being chaste, wholesome, and sexually prudent. As manipulative women, WPs feel like they lose either way. This is why they don’t particularly care for Mode One Behavior. How can you usually identify a Wholesome Pretender? Anytime you approach a woman, and express a desire to be physically romantic or sexual with them in a Mode One manner, they will typically become very dramatic and theatrical in their response. “Excuse me??!” “I

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don’t believe you just said that!!”

“Do you talk like this to ALL

women??!” “You are SO forward!!” These are all common responses from your average WP. A key characteristic of WP behavior is that they will usually subjectively criticize your manner of expression, but they will never make an [immediate] attempt to stop interacting with you. The reason being, is that WPs don’t criticize you because your behavior truly “turns them off,” but they criticize you in order to give you the [false] impression that they are a “lady,” and that “respectable ladies aren’t supposed to be talked to in an unapologetically straightforward manner” (but deep down, they’re aroused and/or intrigued by such behavior). The biggest thing to remember about WPs is that they thoroughly enjoy sex . . . even very kinky, casual, highly promiscuous sex, . . . but they also want very badly to avoid being labeled as “sleazy” or a “ho.” They will do just about anything to maintain the image and reputation of an “innocent,” “wholesome,” marriageable woman. Why do WPs like to play manipulative head games? Because, in a nutshell, they want to ‘have their cake and eat it too.’ (Remember: This is the basic motivation for all WPs and EHs) In a lot of ways, women who are Wholesome Pretenders are very, very similar to men who exhibit Mode Two Behavior. A man who frequently exhibits Mode Two Behavior is a man who will postpone expressing his romantic and

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MODE ONE

sexual interests to a woman until he’s sure of the fact that a woman ‘likes’ him, and has a ‘favorable impression’ of him. WPs have the same motivations.

A Wholesome Pretender will usually delay

revealing their sexual desires and interests to a man, particularly if they revolve around casual sex rather than relationship sex, until they feel as though a man has the utmost of respect for them. WPs will usually make an episode of casual sex seem like it’s ‘unexpected’ or ‘spontaneous’ (e.g., “Oh … I am so drunk! … I don’t really know what I’m doing!” or “you know what? You’re the very first guy who I’ve EVER had sex with on the first date!!” [yeah, right. And she’s never seen a porno movie either]) A Wholesome Pretender will never want an episode of casual sex and/or kinky sex to appear “pre-planned” or “well thought of ahead of time.”

This would totally ruin the

manipulative game that they are trying to play. EROTIC HYPOCRITES

“Erotic Hypocrites” [EHs] are very similar to Wholesome Pretenders, only they are much more phony, pretentious, conniving, materialistic, and hypocritical than the average WP. WPs simply want to get married PERIOD. They’re not ultra-selective about the type of man they want to marry. EHs on the other hand, tend to have a specific interest in marrying a man with a high degree of wealth and social status. They typically set their sights on men making six figures or higher, who have a high degree of education and/or who come from a prestigious family

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background. They are status-oriented gold diggers and husband hunters with one particular weakness: They love raunchy, kinky sex. EHs usually do a good job of hiding this weakness though. Most men who exhibit Mode Two Behavior and Mode Three Behavior will typically fall prey to these women. Mode Three “Targets” in particular will become frequent victims of EHs. Erotic Hypocrites are the type of women who will criticize men for watching pornographic movies, but will turn around and invite a chosen sexual companion to video tape their episodes of kinky sex. An EH will publicly criticize women for being prostitutes and Call Girls, but they will all but demand that a man wine & dine them prior to having sex with them (Why is prostitution illegal, yet ‘wining & dining’ a woman in exchange for sexual companionship legal??).

EHs will usually not marry you

because they love having sex with you. They will marry you for your money and social status. Nine times out of ten, they will have another man on the side who is creating pleasurable orgasms for them. EHs love raunchy, kinky sex. Many times, they even love promiscuous sex with many [discreet] partners. The thing is, if you’re a man exhibiting Mode Two Behavior, or worse, a Mode Three “Target,” you’ll never find this out. Why do Erotic Hypocrites despise Mode One Behavior? Because EHs love to be excessively flattered and wined & dined.

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If you’re

MODE ONE

exhibiting Mode One Behavior, you will never do that. EHs love to be spoiled with gifts and financial favors. A man exhibiting Mode One Behavior will never do that. EHs love to date and marry men more so for their wealth and social status, rather than the fact that they enjoy their company physically and sexually. A man exhibiting Mode One Behavior will see right through this façade. For these reasons, among others, EHs get very, very frustrated when they encounter a man who exhibits Mode One Behavior. Deep down, an Erotic Hypocrite knows that a man who has a Mode One attitude and demeanor could probably get them aroused, and seduce them into having sex without offering any type of tangible “incentive” or “reward” in exchange for their sexual companionship. This is why they don’t particularly care for Mode One Behavior. How can you usually identify an Erotic Hypocrite? Similar to WPs, anytime you approach an EH, and express your sexual desires and interests to them in a Mode One manner, they will typically respond with an almost hysterically adverse reaction. “I beg your pardon??!!” “How dare you talk to me like that!!!” “You don’t even KNOW ME!!!” “Do you know what type of guys I date??!!” These are all common responses from your average EH. Just like a WP, an EH will usually harshly criticize your manner of expression, but if they’re interested in you, they will never make an attempt to [immediately] end their interaction with you. If an EH is attracted to you, and curious about

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having sex with you, they will test you to see if you’re going to apologize or become defensive. If you do, you are dead meat. If you stand your ground, and behave composed and unaffected by their opinionated insults and subjective criticisms, they will usually give in to your desires. Again … EHs love sex. The kinkier, the better. The reason why they publicly pretend not to, is because EHs are very materialistic status seekers. They want to date men who are going to play up to them, spoil them, and generally let them have their way. They know that a Mode One man will never do that.

An EH is the type of woman who will

usually marry a Mode Three “Target” type, but will want to have an affair with a man who exhibits Mode One Behavior (don’t do it!). Why do EHs like to play manipulative head games? They are no different than WPs in this respect: They want to ‘have their cake and eat it too.’ (Again … This is the basic motivation for all WPs and EHs) In the same manner that most WPs are similar to a man who exhibits Mode Two Behavior, EHs’ behavior is very similar to a man who exhibits Mode Three Behavior. Mode Three “Targets” and EHs are almost a perfect match. An EH will indefinitely hide their true sexual interests from the men they date, and even marry. If they have a ‘questionable’ sexual history (i.e., past promiscuous behavior, a streak of casual flings, etc), they will do just about anything to keep that a

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MODE ONE

secret. EHs will never attempt to have casual sex with a man who they perceive as a potential husband. NO WAY. Usually, the only time they will engage in casual, raunchy, kinky sex is with a man who they know will emphasize discretion and privacy (the men who more than likely, they would never marry). As I mentioned, EHs will usually have the type of sex they really like with someone other than their boyfriend, fiancé, or husband. Why not with their significant other? Because this would totally ruin the manipulative game that they are trying to play. WHY MEN LOVE PORNO MOVIES and WOMEN LOVE CHICK FLICKS

Most women are under the mistaken impression that the only reason why men love to watch adult films (i.e. "porno flicks") is simply because of the explicit sex scenes. I would beg to differ. Admittedly, most pornographic adult films made today have no true plot, storylines, or entertaining characters. Most of them, honestly, are garbage. But in the 70s and 80s, there were actually some adult films produced that are considered to this day to be "classics." One of my personal favorites, which relates to the content of this book, is a movie written & directed by Anthony Spinelli entitled "Talk Dirty To Me." This movie stars an adult film actor by the name of John Leslie, who plays the character of "Jack," who is an incorrigible womanizing slacker. His best friend, "Lenny," is just the opposite. A complete loser with women.

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Many mainstream publications even ranked this film as one of the Top 20 Best Adult Films of All-Time. What makes this film so entertaining? Trust me … the actual "sex scenes" in the film are secondary, if not irrelevant. It's the character of "Jack," and how he interacts with women, that is so captivating. “Jack” (John Leslie) is definitely MODE ONE. Jack literally has no fear whatsoever of opinionated insults or subjective criticisms directed at him by women. I mean, absolutely none. He has no fear of being rejected by women. I mean, absolutely none. He never attempts to lie to women in order to seduce them, and he never attempts to engage in “manipulative head games” in order to persuade the women into having sex with him. He is just very bold, self-confident, upfront and unapologetically straightforward, and he never behaves in an apologetic and/or defensive manner in response to harsh criticisms and insults of his behavior, or his raunchy, provocative manner of verbally expressing his sexual desires, interests, and intentions to women. Nine times out of ten, you would never see a character like "Jack" in a mainstream film. Why? Because most female movie fans would not want to see that type of character on screen. Why? Because a character like “Jack” exposes how duplicitous and manipulative most women are in regards to their own sexual desires. You can argue that, or debate that if you want, but in my opinion, it’s the truth. Many mainstream movies like for their characters to be either totally “good,” or totally “bad.” Most male characters are either morally flawless, or they’re completely evil. Same with many of the female characters. They are either presented as “innocent, wholesome, prudish good girls,” or complete “whores” and/or “bitches.” In real

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MODE ONE

life, the vast majority of women fall somewhere in-between those two extremes. Honest truth? I don't care for most of the male characters in many of the PG, PG-13, and R-rated films that have been produced over the years under the category of "romantic drama" and/or "romantic comedy." There are a few exceptions. I loved Vince Vaughn's character of "Trent" in "Swingers." His character was refreshingly "real." I though Jon Favreau did an excellent job creating his own character of "Mike," to play off of Trent. There are a few other roles I could mention. Another "realistic" chick flick was "Chasing Amy." I love that movie. This movie goes to the heart of how many men think. Specifically, most men typically can't handle knowing that their girlfriend, or the woman they desire to be their next girlfriend, has engaged in "kinky, promiscuous" sex in their past. Most guys always want their girlfriend, or wife, to have the image and reputation of a "good girl." Chasing Amy was probably the best movie I've seen that dealt with this issue. In most "chick flicks," the behavior of the men is just way too unrealistic for me. For starters, most of the men in most mainstream films are almost totally centered on long-term, monogamous relationships. That's nice to feed into the "fairytale romance" desires of most women, but the harsh fact is, it's unrealistic. Most single men I know, especially between the ages of 18 and 29, want casual sex just as much, if not more, than they do [monogamous] relationship sex. I'm just being real. Some women argue that most adult films are "misogynistic," and most of the women in adult films are nothing but "whores." I 95

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partially disagree with that. If you watch "Talk Dirty To Me," "Talk Dirty To Me, Part II," or "Nothing To Hide," I believe these adult films portray women fairly realistically. There are many women who enjoy episodes of kinky, casual sex just as much as men do. Does that automatically make them a "whore?" I think not. Most women love "chick flicks" because just about all of those types of movies usually conclude with some couple getting married, or at minimum, finding "true love." Again, that is a great Hollywood business move in order to attract women to the theaters who dream of that "fairy tale romance" scenario, but most "chick flicks" will never hold the interest of most single men. I will list about eight mainstream “chick flick” films that I did find entertaining (primarily, because the behavior of the male and female characters was real), that dealt with being single, dating, and malefemale relationships: - "Swingers" (Jon Favreau, Vince Vaughn) - "Chasing Amy" (Ben Affleck, Jason Lee) - "In The Company Of Men" (Aaron Eckhart, Matt Malloy) - "The Tao Of Steve" (Donal Logue, Greer Goodman) - "She's Gotta Have It" (Spike Lee, Tracy Camilla Johns) - "Risky Business" (Tom Cruise, Rebecca De Mornay) - “Love Jones” (Larenz Tate, Nia Long) - "Something's Gotta Give" (Jack Nicholson, Diane Keaton) I'm not suggesting that any movie that has the main male character in pursuit of a long-term, emotionally profound, monogamous relationship is "unrealistic" and/or "sappy," but it's more so about how he goes about pursuing that sort of relationship. Take the movie, "Something's Gotta Give" with Jack Nicholson. He eventually 96

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develops a desire for a romantic relationship with Diane Keaton, but his behavior was still very realistic. He was very resistant initially, but then he ultimately gives in to his emotional feelings for Keaton’s character. Most men I know don't go out anxiously "looking" for a relationship. Especially, if they're above-average looking, and enjoy a certain degree of popularity with single women. For most men, "serious relationships" usually develop unexpectedly. You literally just wake up one day, and realize that you want to spend more and more time with a woman in an exclusive manner. More often than not, that usually happens after you've spent a considerable amount of time in that particular woman's presence. Other than the "hot sex scenes," and the beautiful bodies of the women, I'm going to tell you why most men love to watch certain adult films more so than traditional "chick flicks": - You rarely see men having to "flatter women," and/or "wine & dine" women, in order to get them to have sex. Deep-down, most men don't like to feel obligated to use either one of those highly manipulative tactics. Over 90% of the reason why most men excessively flatter women, and/or very quickly offer to 'wine & dine' them, is to motivate them to have sex with them. - You rarely see women disrespecting men in adult films. In real life, and in many mainstream chick flicks, men are frequently humiliated, rejected, ignored, and/or disrespected by women. - You rarely see women (or men) exhibiting heavy-duty emotions in adult films. Men don't really care for heavy emotional material in "chick flicks." Men get emotional over come-from-behind Super 97

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Bowl victories, and closely competitive World Series games. Men don't like to get too “emotional” over dating relationships. - In many "chick flicks," many of the male characters are almost "overly eager" to enter into a serious, long-term, monogamous relationship. In real life, that is not the case for most men. Most men, and particularly, handsome men with above-average popularity, usually have to be “persuaded” to become monogamous with one woman. Most men don't think about "true love." That is a female thing. When most men initially meet women, the #1 thing on their mind is having sex. Again, it's usually not only until after a man really has spent some quality time interacting with a woman over a period of weeks and/or months that he begins to see her as more than just a satisfying sex partner. Some women may think that is “shallow,” or “immature,” but that is real. So here’s the recap: Wholesome Pretenders are those women who want to enjoy the social lifestyle of a woman who gets to enjoy the pleasures of frequent episodes of casual and/or promiscuous sex, but they want to publicly maintain the image and reputation of an innocent, wholesome, sexually conservative, monogamous, and ‘marriageable’ woman; Therefore, WPs lead a “double life,” in which they behave one way in public, and another way in private. WPs don’t particularly care for men who exhibit Mode One Behavior, because such behavior forces them to reveal who they really are; Mode

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One Behavior forces WPs to either ‘pretend’ as though they’re “offended,”

“insulted,”

and

“turned

off”

by

provocatively

straightforward behavior, or it forces them to acknowledge that they share the same exact interests; Either way, they are not able to play the manipulative games they’re accustomed to playing with men who exhibit Mode Two and/or Mode Three Behavior. Erotic Hypocrites are those women who have a specific desire to date and marry men with a high degree of wealth, education, and/or social status.

Publicly, they tend to criticize men and other women who

engage in kinky or ‘unconventional’ sexual practices, even though behind closed doors they love raunchy, kinky sex just as much, if not more, than those they criticize; Therefore, EHs also lead a “double life,” in which they behave one way towards the men who they’re interested in dating and marrying, but a totally different manner towards men who they just want to exchange orgasms with while enjoying one or more episodes of casual sex. EHs don’t particularly care for men who exhibit Mode One Behavior, because such behavior lets them know immediately that they won’t be able to have their way; Men who exhibit Mode One Behavior would never use their wealth, social connections, or material trappings as a means of gaining a woman’s attention and interest. A man exhibiting Mode One Behavior would never “spoil” a woman with gifts and

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financial favors.

Consequently, they are not able to play the

manipulative games they’re accustomed to playing with men who exhibit Mode Two and/or Mode Three Behavior. This is why Wholesome Pretenders and Erotic Hypocrites DESPISE the effectiveness of Mode One Behavior. They despise Mode One Behavior because they know it has the potential to expose them for who they really are, and what they really want. What’s so bad about both forms of behavior (WP behavior and EH behavior) is that it is indirectly caused by the judgmental behavior of men. Women’s fear of being categorized as a promiscuous “whore,” or a kinky “freak” is what usually leads to the duplicitous and manipulative behavior exhibited by Wholesome Pretenders and Erotic Hypocrites. Men:

Quit placing unfair, subjective moral judgments on women.

Don’t persuade them to have sex with you quickly, and then turn around and bad mouth them to your friends. All you’re doing is motivating women to exhibit more and more manipulative behavior towards other men. Women:

Quit being deceptive and manipulative for the sake of

finding a husband. Marry a man who loves you for who you really are,

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instead of marrying a man who loves you for who they think you are. The truth ALWAYS has a way of revealing itself. “Is there anything else I need to be prepared for before you talk about Mode One Behavior?” Actually, yes. The fear of being criticized, disliked, rejected, and/or ignored is not the only fears that lead to Mode Two and Mode Three Behavior. There is at least one more fear. Read on.

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CHAPTER SEVEN The “Other” Fear: The “Alpha Male Syndrome” and The Fear Of Being “Player Hated” “It’s not the fear of failure that prevents most people from reaching their potential for great success; Underachievement is caused just as much by a fear of SUCCESS. Why would anyone fear success? When you’re successful, your relationships change. Your friendships change. Some friends and acquaintances will become envious of you. Jealous of you. And this fear of jealousy and envy, if you let it, will prevent you from doing what you have to do to in order to become successful.” Advice from my late father, Clarence Currie, a few years ago

Jealousy and Envy. I've already discussed in detail how the fear of being harshly criticized by a woman will typically lead a man to exhibit Mode Two Behavior.

Similarly, a man will exhibit Mode Three

Behavior when he's deeply afraid of being rejected and/or ignored by a woman. But there is actually another fear that prevents men from exhibiting the necessary confidence and charm that usually comes along with Mode One Behavior:

THE FEAR OF BEING "PLAYER

HATED."

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Ever since the Rap/Hip-Hop generation has made it's presence known in the music industry, there have been certain slang terms that have infiltrated mainstream vernacular. If there is one term that has seemed to stick around indefinitely, it's the term "player hating" (also known simply as “hating” or “playa hating”). “Don't hate the player, hate the game!” is frequently expressed by young men and women. What is a “player hater?” Anytime you express a dislike for someone for no other reason than simply the fact that you're jealous and envious of their social status, level of success, and/or popularity with others, you're guilty of "player hating." There is nothing that will cause a man to be player hated by other men more than when you have a higher degree of romantic and sexual popularity with women than they do. There are many men, plain and simply, THAT HATE THIS.

I once read a book where one

psychologist actually suggested that one of the primary factors that causes unnecessary male-on-male violence is jealousy and envy towards a man who is more romantically and sexually popular with women than themselves. This phenomenon actually happens in the animal world. Male animals conduct the whole process of dating far different than intelligent, human males. Their world is much more VICIOUS and COMPETITIVE. In most animal kingdoms, there is what's known as THE ALPHA MALE. The Alpha Male is usually the male who is the

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most physically dominant of all the males. He is the male who either has the best fighting and survival skills and/or is the least afraid of killing another male in his kingdom. Everything about that particular kingdom, particularly in regards to how the males and female mate, trickles down from the Alpha Male. In various animal kingdoms, the Alpha Male gets the first pick of the high quality females. The second most dominant male gets the second pick, the third most dominant male gets the third pick, and so on and so on. If you're a "submissive" male (i.e., “Beta Male”), you get the “leftovers” (i.e., The low quality females who the more dominant males don't want). If a dominant male sees a submissive male with a female who he wants to mate, he will typically either boldly take that female away (sometimes, even during copulation), or challenge the submissive male to a fight (usually, to the death). In many ways, there are human males who take on these same attitudes. There are a lot of men who just inherently don't like other men who are more handsome than them, make more money than them, have a higher degree of education than them, or are more intelligent and personable than them, if they feel these attributes and characteristics make these men more appealing to women than themselves (see Chapter Four on ‘egotistical insecurities’). They don't necessarily TRY to be this way, they just ARE. Deep down in their mind, their underlying attitude is "if

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you can't outfight me or dominate me physically, there is no way you should be more popular with women than me..." It's this attitude, that either resides in their conscious mind or subconscious mind, that ends up provoking what's known as "player hater" behavior, and is representative of THE ALPHA MALE SYNDROME (AMS). Well-known comedian Chris Rock had a funny bit about AMS in one of his stand-up performances. He talked about how some guys in the “hood” (i.e., an urban, low-income area) wouldn't really be motivated to earn a college degree, because many of their old peers in the neighborhood would probably say something like, "I don't give a fu** if you have a degree! You're still a punk, and you still can't whup my a**!" Believe it or not, there are many men who actually maintain this unfortunate attitude. I can name times in both high school and college when I've seen guys literally start a fight with another guy simply because they were jealous and envious of that guy's popularity with women. Typically, if a man perceives you as being more physically dominant or athletic than himself, or a better fighter than himself, he'll usually go ahead and grant you the respect of a ladies' man without a challenge. But if a man thinks that you're a "nerd," a "geek," a "snob," or worse, a "wimp," and you're attracting more attention from women than them, they will RESENT YOU, and may even try to CHALLENGE YOU.

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And it's this very FEAR of being resented and challenged that causes most men to "suppress" their natural confidence and charm with women. This has actually happened to me on certain occasions. I can name times when I was younger, where I may have attended a party, a nightclub, or a social function, and I actually "held back" on my confidence and personable ways with women I was interacting with, primarily because I didn't want the other men around me to develop any type of jealousy, envy, and/or resentment towards me. A lot of men don't like to admit it, or sometimes they're not consciously aware that they do this, but they are guilty of it. I've observed many men, who when they're in the company of men who they are close friends with, they will behave more natural and confident in their social interactions with women. But when they are around strange men who they are unfamiliar with, they will suppress their normal sense of selfconfidence and charisma. The latter comes from a FEAR OF BEING PLAYER HATED. Don't allow this fear to inhibit your behavior. Unlike animals, most men are not going to challenge you to a no-rules fight for the right to date a woman. Women choose on their own what men they want to spend time with. Don't be a wimp in allowing this fear to dominate your thoughts and behavior while socializing with women. If other men

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have a problem with your popularity with other women, that's THEIR PROBLEM ... NOT YOURS. There are actually many men in prison right now because of their "player hating" ways. There are some men who just cannot accept the idea of a man who's not as athletic as them, not as strong as them, not as good a fighter as them, or not as fearless towards killing someone as them, enjoying a better life than them (i.e., a bigger house, a more expensive car, a better job, a higher degree of popularity with women, etc). Deep down, they think JUST LIKE ANIMALS. Again, in certain animal kingdoms, THE MOST FEARLESS, DOMINANT MALES RUN THE SHOW. All of the other males answer to them. They get the first pick of the quality females. For those men who are guilty of being player haters and possessing AMS characteristics: WE'RE HUMAN BEINGS, NOT ANIMALS. Challenge the wrong guy to a fight, and you might get SHOT. Animals don't know how to use guns or weapons.

So think twice before

attempting to "punk" a man who you perceive as being "weak" for the purpose of wanting to steal his woman away. For those men who are afraid of being player hated:

DON'T

CONCERN YOURSELF WITH WHAT OTHER MEN THINK ABOUT YOU AND YOUR POTENTIAL TO BE POPULAR

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WITH WOMEN. Don't let them scare you into exhibiting a lower degree of self-confidence, personal charm, and charisma.

THEIR

JEALOUSY AND ENVY IS THEIR PROBLEM . . . NOT YOURS. Before you proceed to the eighth and final chapter, answer the following questions: 1) Have you ever ‘suppressed’ your natural charm, charisma, and selfconfidence towards women because you were afraid of another man becoming jealous or envious of you?? 2) Have you ever ‘player-hated’ on another man because you perceived him as being more successful and/or popular with women than you?? After you answer the above two questions, you can finally proceed to MODE ONE.

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CHAPTER EIGHT The Men who Exhibit MODE ONE Behavior: The “Self-Assured Straightshooters” “If you are afraid of being rejected, this fear will affect almost every area of your life – friends, intimate relationships, job interviews, and so on. Rejection is rejection – wherever it is found. So you begin to protect yourself, and, as a result, greatly limit yourself. You begin to shut down and close out the world around you.” Dr. Susan Jeffers, author of Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway

Mode One Behavior.

Why is it necessary to exhibit Mode One

Behavior? What makes Mode One Behavior so much more effective than Mode Two and Mode Three Behavior? How will my interactions and relationships with women immediately improve as a direct result of expressing myself in a Mode One manner?

Questions, questions,

questions. Speaking of questions, I have one for you right now: How would you approach women, and behave towards women, if you knew for a 100% fact ahead of time that each and every woman you interacted with was dying to date you, kiss you, and eventually have sex with you, even if they failed to initially reveal this to you??

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Don’t answer too quickly. Think about this question for a moment. I’m talking about if you knew for a definite fact that no matter how a woman initially responded to you, you would eventually be able to get her to enthusiastically reciprocate all of your romantic and sexual desires and interests. Hmmm. Something to think about huh? While you’re pondering over this question, let’s discuss some important issues regarding your current attitudes and beliefs towards interacting with the opposite sex. CHANGE SOME OF YOUR EXISTING BELIEFS AND ASSUMPTIONS

The only reason you’re reading this book is because, at one time or another in your past, one or more women left you feeling angry, egotistically frustrated, bitter, and/or misogynistic.

If you’re not

willing to admit to yourself that you haven’t experienced any of these emotions after interacting with women, then you’re wasting your time reading this book. It will not help you, because you’re not allowing it to help you. This book is a self-help book. That means, you have to take it upon yourself, to make attempts to help yourself. As I alluded to in my introduction, most books that center on improving your success with women tend to lie about, or mislead you into believing that you can attract any and every woman who you meet and talk to. NOT TRUE. The realistic fact of the matter is, there are some women on this earth who are not attracted to you,

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never have been, and never will be. No matter what you change or improve about your looks, personality, or level of career and financial success, there are a group of women who will never, ever, ever find themselves interested in dating you or having sex with you. That’s a harsh truth to accept, but a necessary one. Rejection is not only inevitable in your continuing pursuit of the ideal companion, it is necessary. Did you hear me? Are you sure? Let me repeat this again. Rejection is not only inevitable, but it is necessary. There is a phrase that says “Rejection is God’s protection.” You are not meant to hook up with every woman you meet, no matter how attractive, charming, or sexy you may perceive her to be. Not all women are right for you. Think about if you couldn’t reject any woman who expressed an interest in dating you, or having sex with you. You know, as well as I do, that there are some women who you would never want to date or have sex with, regardless of if they lost weight or gained weight, got a better job, made more money, or changed their religion. When you’re just flat out, 100%, genuinely not interested in dating a woman or having sex with a woman, there is very little, if anything, that this woman can do to change your mind. When you “flip the script,” you realize that having the power to ‘reject’ (i.e. not reciprocate someone else’s desires and interests) a woman is necessary in order for you to

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find the women who are right for you, and to allow them to find the men who are right for them. The quickest and most effective means of diminishing, if not eliminating, your fear of rejection is to realize that, in the long-run, rejection is necessary and beneficial. When a woman who you’re very attracted to declines your invitation to go out on a date, it sometimes can be a hard thing for your ego to accept. But that egotistical disappointment will soon go away. It always does. The other major fear that affects men’s egos is the fear of harsh, subjective criticism. Many men want to be ‘liked’ and have good things said about them constantly.

My belief is, anytime every

woman who meets you has nothing but good, positive things to say about you, that means that nine times out of ten, you’re not really being your true self with every one of them. When you’re truly being yourself, there is always going to be at least one characteristic about you that women are going to find undesirable and/or frustrating to their egos. The biggest thing you need to realize in order to make the biggest change and improvement you’ll ever make in your life regarding your interactions with women, is to realize that your ego is the #1 cause of most of your problems and frustrations with women.

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“What?? Are you calling me egotistical??” No. I’m not necessarily calling you ‘egotistical,’ but I am telling you that your ego is what causes you to experience anger, frustration, and bitterness anytime you don’t receive the responses and reactions that you desire from the women who you’re romantically and/or sexually interested in. I’m going to tell you a big ‘secret’ to immediately improving your verbal communication skills with women:

You Cannot Allow Your EGO To Become Too Attached To Receiving SPECIFIC Reactions And Responses From Women. I can pretty much guarantee you … once you remove your ego out of the equation in your interactions with women, your conversational style will become more real, and more objective. A lot of men think that their ego is the source of their self-confidence and sense of ambition. THIS IS NOT TRUE. You could, and would, accomplish more in life if you actually diminish the influence of your ego. Your level of self-confidence, and your ego, are not the same thing. Self-confidence has to do with your desire and ability to take action towards the achievement of a desired goal or objective. Your ego centers on how you perceive yourself, and how you believe you’re being perceived by others.

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If you attend a social event, and you see an attractive woman, and you don’t hesitate to take action towards approaching her, that is representative of being self-confident, and self-assured. When you approach a woman, and converse with a woman, without giving any thought to the “fear” of being criticized and/or rejected, that

is

representative of being self-confident, and self-assured. When you’re being self-confident, and self-assured, the only thing on your mind is identifying a desirable goal or objective, and taking whatever action you need to in order to achieve that goal or objective. It’s your ego that causes you to become concerned with other people’s perceptions of what you’re saying, how you’re saying it, and when you’re saying it. Your ego causes you to become obsessed with how people respond to you, and your behavior. When you’re guilty of being too “egotistical,” that essentially means that your behavior is heavily influenced by the compliments and criticisms of other people. You never want to put yourself in a position where your behavior can be easily manipulated by flattery and/or insults expressed by others. The irony of it is that many times, when you exhibit non-egotistical behavior, many women will label you as ‘cocky.’ ‘Cocky’ has a

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connotation of being ‘egotistical.’ Many people, including women, tend to think that if you’re not driven by the thoughts and opinions of other people, that means that you’re ‘arrogant’ and/or ‘cocky.’ THAT IS THE FURTHEST THING FROM THE TRUTH. COMPLIMENTS AND CRITICISMS

Two of the most effective psychological tools that people use in order to manipulate others are compliments and criticisms.

More

specifically, they use insincere flattery and subjective criticisms. There is nothing too wrong with expressing sincere compliments and objective criticisms, as long as it’s not an excessive habit, but you need to train your mind to ignore and remain unaffected by insincere flattery, subjective criticisms, and/or opinionated insults. When you become too excited in response to flattery, and too angry or depressed in response to criticism, this is not a good thing. If manipulative people detect this characteristic in you, they will always try to take advantage of this. This is why you have to strive for egotistical indifference.

This is the #1 basis for the

effectiveness of Mode One Behavior. Some men spend their entire adult life attempting to prevent and/or avoid a number of subjective criticisms, opinionated insults, and personal ‘labels,’ such as “immature jerk,” “shallow womanizer,” or

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“rude asshole.” These “labels” mean nothing. People use these criticisms and insults in an attempt to manipulate you into exhibiting behavior that is more pleasing, flattering, and accommodating to them. Don’t allow yourself to fall into the tiresome, misleading trap of trying to avoid critical “labels.”

In Order To Consistently Exhibit Mode One Behavior, You Have To Maintain A State Of Egotistical Indifference DON’T CONCENTRATE ON THE FLAWS AND WEAKNESSES OF WOMEN

Mode Two Behavior and Mode Three Behavior ALWAYS eventually lead to Mode Four Behavior. Mode Two Behavior is effective, but weak. Mode Three Behavior is weak AND ineffective. As I’ve alluded to before, the problem is not with the woman’s behavior. You might fool yourself into believing that it is, but in reality, it’s not. Deep, deep down, you’re really angry, frustrated, and bitter at YOURSELF. Once again, “weak” behavior is any behavior that you exhibit that opens the door for women to manipulate you, take advantage of you, disrespect you, and/or generally treat you in an undesirable manner. Weak behavior is any behavior that is too lenient, too respectful, too accommodating, and/or too flattering.

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What most men don’t realize, is that when you constantly criticize women (e.g., “all women are bitches!!”), you’re basically saying to your subconscious mind that ”women have power over me and my emotions.” When it comes to changes and improvements in behavior, only concentrate on your own behavior. Don’t concern yourself with the flaws and weaknesses you perceive women as having. Why? For one thing, you have absolutely no control over women’s behavior. Only women have the power to improve the flaws and weaknesses in their behavior. You only have control over how you behave towards women, and how you allow them to behave towards you.

Don’t Concern Yourself With What You ‘Like’ or ‘Dislike’ About Women’s Behavior; Only Concentrate On Your OWN Behavior WEAK VS. INEFFECTIVE BEHAVIOR

In general, weak AND ineffective behavior will hurt your chances of maintaining a woman’s romantic and sexual interest. But honestly, if I had to choose between the two, weak behavior is much more detrimental to your emotions, and sense of self-confidence, than ineffective behavior.

Ineffective behavior (i.e., behavior that is

counterproductive to the achievement of your desired goals and objectives in a relationship) is primarily the result of waiting too long to express what’s really on your mind to a woman. You’re hesitating too

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long before revealing your true needs, desires, interests, and intentions. For the most part, that’s an easy fix. Weak behavior is more challenging to correct. Weak behavior, as mentioned before, is predicated on some deep, profound fears that you possess, and to some degree, egotistical insecurities and low selfesteem.

In a nutshell, you don’t value your own attention and

companionship as much as the attention and companionship of the women you’re pursuing. This is worth repeating: ANYTIME YOU PLACE MORE VALUE AND SIGNIFICANCE ON THE ATTENTION and COMPANIONSHIP OF A WOMAN, THAN YOU DO YOUR OWN, YOUR BEHAVIOR IS GOING TO BE WEAK. This is one of the major weaknesses that causes men to exhibit both Mode Two Behavior as well as Mode Three Behavior. Anytime you perceive a woman’s attention and companionship as being more worthwhile to you, than yours is to her, you’re going to eventually exhibit behavior that is weak. That’s not an opinion, that’s a hard, cold fact. This leads me to another major principle of Mode One Behavior:

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NO WOMAN’S TIME, ATTENTION, OR COMPANIONSHIP IS MORE VALUABLE THAN YOUR OWN. If it takes repeating this a thousand times to yourself in order to absorb it and believe it, do it. No other principle associated with Mode One Behavior is more important than this one.

You can’t ever treat a

woman’s time, attention, and/or companionship as if it is more valuable and significant to you, than yours is to her. If you do, I can pretty much guarantee you that at some point in the future, that woman is going to either get bored with you and lose interest in you, engage in manipulative ‘head games’ with you, or treat you like a punk who she can egotistically ‘bully’ around when she wants to. Next to your ego, this is the most significant cause of weak and ineffective behavior towards women. If there is one hard lesson that I’ve had to painfully learn over and over and over again, it would be that you can never excessively flatter women, fawn over women, and/or consistently play up to their egos, and then expect to have long-term success with them. I have never met a guy in my entire life who was highly popular with women, and consistently enjoyed successful and satisfying relationships with women, that consistently fawned over women and spoiled them egotistically. Don’t fool yourself.

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Similar to playing up to a woman’s ego, another form of weak behavior you can exhibit is to repeatedly criticize a woman, particularly in a harsh, subjective manner, but turn around and continue to pursue that woman’s attention, interest, and companionship. I can guarantee you that women will begin to look at you as a weak-willed wimp. It’s okay to criticize women occasionally in an objective manner, but I try my best to avoid expressing harsh, subjective, opinionated criticisms. For many women, criticizing them is like an indirect form of flattery. Because for many women, and manipulative women in particular, when you criticize them, you’re acknowledging that they’re able to frustrate you, and get under your skin. What’s the best way to let a woman know that you disapprove of her behavior?

Leave her alone.

Ignore her indefinitely until she

apologizes for her undesirable behavior towards you, and/or she changes those characteristics that you don’t like. Actions always speak louder than words. The best way to criticize a woman is with your actions. Demonstrate to her that her undesirable behavior has consequences. For me personally, I try not to concern myself with what I ‘like’ or ‘don’t like’ about a woman’s behavior. I only concern myself with what I can tolerate over a period of time, and what I can’t tolerate over a period of time. Once a woman exhibits behavior that I don’t feel as though I can tolerate indefinitely, I’m history. Ciao. Later. I’m on to the next woman of interest.

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The best rule of thumb to remember regarding subjective vs. objective criticisms is this: Never criticize a woman for exhibiting behavior that she never agreed not to exhibit. If you do, you’re guilty of expressing a subjective criticism based on what you personally don’t like. So what. On the other hand, if a woman is exhibiting behavior that she previously agreed or promised not to exhibit, then it’s okay to objectively criticize her.

But even with objective criticisms, they

shouldn’t be repeatedly and persistently expressed. After a while, it’s time to just move on to the next woman. Remember: There is a huge difference between desiring a woman’s attention and companionship, and needing a woman’s attention and companionship. The latter is the root of many aspects of men’s weak, and ineffective behavior towards women. When you present yourself as being “needy” of a woman’s attention and companionship, it makes you look very weak in the eyes of most, if not all women. NEVER PUT WOMEN ON PEDESTALS

Speaking of moving on to the next woman, this brings me to the fourth primary principle that leads to weak and/or ineffective behavior: expressing an interest in having an exclusive, monogamous relationship with a woman too quickly. Don’t be so quick to cut off all of your other potential female companions, assuming you have other options. One of the biggest mistakes that I’ve made with women repeatedly,

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particularly those who I was interested in romantically, was being ‘too anxious’ to make my relationship with them an exclusive one. MISTAKE. Within the first few days or weeks after meeting a woman, always treat a woman like she is just one of many. I don’t care how beautiful a woman is, how sexy a woman is, how intelligent a woman is, or how wholesome and virginal she is.

Exclusivity is something I feel as

though a woman should have to earn. I’ve had some of my female acquaintances consider that ‘shallow’ on my part to maintain that attitude. That’s not ‘shallow’ at all. That’s REALITY. The primary time I’ve had women express a high interest in me, only to see that interest diminish in less than a month later, has been times when I behaved as though I was too eager to be ‘exclusive’ with that woman. In my experience, I have found that women tend to perceive an overanxious attitude towards exclusivity as a sign of loneliness and desperation. Both are big turn-offs for most women. When you’re in a Mode One state of mind, always talk to women and treat women you’ve just met as if they are just one of many women who you’re considering dating or having sex with. The vast majority of women who have pursued my attention and companionship the most aggressively have typically been those who felt like they were in ‘competition’ with other women for my interest. This is one of the

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reasons why many women go crazy over male celebrity types. One of the biggest characteristics that enhances many women’s interest in a man who is famous is that they know these men have other women pursuing them. Even my own mother said once that, “no woman wants a man who they think no other woman wants.” One of my high school buddies put it best back in the late 80s; he said “the more popular you already are with women, the more popular you will become with women.” In my experience, I have found this to be very true. You ever wonder why some men are frequently criticized, but yet still highly pursued by women, while other men are frequently complimented by women, but are very rarely pursued? It’s primarily because of the ‘one of many’ factor. Most women with healthy egos don’t like to be treated as though they’re just ‘one of many’ women who you’re interested in. So egotistically, this frustrates them. On the other hand though, these same women find these guys more intriguing and appealing because of the fact that they know these guys are being pursued by other women. When you are too quick to treat a woman like she’s “the one,” you might end up receiving a lot of flattering compliments from that woman, but more than likely, she’s going to lose interest in you romantically and sexually. Just about every single time that I’ve treated a woman as if I was too anxious or eager to date them, or treated them as if they were

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the only women on earth that I found physically and sexually appealing, those women eventually lost interest in me. I remember one time in 1990, I met this woman, and we chatted on the phone. During the conversation, she said “I bet you are so popular with women…” Me, trying to play the Mode Two ‘modest’ role, replied, “oh, not really. I actually don’t have any women pursuing me at the moment. You’re pretty much the only one interested in me right now.” I never heard from that female again in life.

NEVER PUT A WOMAN ON A ‘PEDESTAL’; ALWAYS TREAT WOMEN YOU’VE JUST MET AS IF THEY ARE JUST ‘ONE OF MANY’ WOMEN WHO YOU’RE CURRENTLY INTERESTED IN. TOO MUCH SMALL TALK

Another major factor that usually leads to weak and ineffective behavior is something I emphasized in Chapter Three, when I discussed Mode Two Behavior: Talking too much. When you engage in too much trivial, irrelevant small talk, over a period of time, women will begin to look at you as more of a platonic friend more so than a potential romantic companion or lover. Trust me … I’ve experienced this too many times. Just about every woman who at some point in time told me “Alan, let’s just be friends…,” it was usually those women who I did a whole lot of unnecessary “chit-chatting” with. On the flip side, most of the women who have usually maintained the highest romantic and

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sexual interest in me were usually those who almost had to beg me to talk to them more than ten to fifteen minutes at a time. Truthfully, I believe this comes from not having enough activity in your life. More than likely, you’re a time-waster. You have too much free time on your hands. If there is one thing I’ve noticed about men who live very active, busy lifestyles, is that they don’t have time for trivial small talk. For these types of men, avoiding small talk is not so much a choice as much as it is a necessity. Most men who are confident and busy are naturally Mode One. It’s the only way that they can be productive. So anytime you find yourself engaging in an extraordinary amount of small talk with women, you have to ask yourself, “Am I utilizing my time in a wise and productive manner?” More than likely, the answer will be “no.”

AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE, ALWAYS AVOID ‘SMALL TALK’; SMALL TALK USUALLY LEADS TO PLATONIC FRIENDSHIPS RATHER THAN ROMANTIC or SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS ACCOMPLISHMENTS AND MATERIAL POSSESSIONS

The final factor that leads to weak and ineffective behavior is allowing your sense of confidence and self-esteem to be based on external, extrinsic factors such as wealth, material possessions, or career and

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educational achievements. When you allow ‘outer’ factors to dictate how good you feel about yourself, you set yourself up for erratic, highly inconsistent levels of self-confidence. Your self-confidence and selfesteem should be based on inner, intrinsic factors. Things such as your moral character, your principles and values, and your day-to-day ability to take action towards the achievement of your desired goals and objectives. Factors that you have total control over, and that cannot be destroyed, diminished, or taken away from you by others. This is why I don’t really believe in ‘wining and dining’ a woman right off the bat. When you do this too early and/or too frequently, women will begin to take your attention and companionship for granted. They will not develop a genuine interest in your company, but rather they will begin to look at you as just a means of obtaining a free lunch, a free dinner, or a free movie or concert. In my personal experience, the women who I spent the most money on in the first three to four weeks after meeting them were the women who I very rarely, if ever, ended up dating or having sex with. Most of the women who I have dated or had sex with, I spent very little money on them within the first one or two months after I met them. It wasn’t until I knew them for a while that they began to get “treated.”

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MODE ONE WHY MODE ONE BEHAVIOR REPLACES MODE TWO BEHAVIOR

As mentioned before, the problem with Mode Two behavior is that it is too cautious, too indirect, and too slow. In addition, it’s too lenient and too accommodating. When you exhibit Mode Two Behavior, you’re taking a ‘gamble’ of sorts;

You’re basically saying to a woman

subconsciously, “If I behave in a manner that is pleasing, flattering, and accommodating to your ego, I’m betting that you will demonstrate your gratitude by reciprocating my romantic and sexual interests.” When you exhibit Mode Two Behavior, you tend to put too much emphasis on being perceived as a “gentleman,” and having a woman “like” you, and say good things about you to their other female friends. It’s these objectives that ultimately weaken the effectiveness of your verbal communication style. In reality, women don’t date you, or choose to have sex with you, because you’re ‘nice’ to them, say all the ‘right things,’ and/or leave a ‘favorable impression’ on them. Just because a woman ‘likes’ you, and thinks highly of your personality and behavior, does not necessarily mean that she wants to date you, or sexually aroused by you. Women develop a desire to spend time with you in a romantic and/or sexual manner because something about you turns them on. Something about the way you look, and the manner in which you behave, arouses them. Among other things, a high degree of self-confidence and selfassurance is a known psychological aphrodisiac. 127

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I’ve read numerous articles in which women have frequently said that the #1 non-physical turn-on in a man is their level of self-confidence and self-assurance. This is why Mode One Behavior is generally more appealing to women than Mode Two Behavior. Mode One Behavior causes you to naturally come across as more self-confident, more selfassured, and more provocative. For one thing, you have to be selfconfident simply to exhibit Mode One Behavior.

Mode One

Behavior is not for the verbally wimpy types. Honestly, it has been my experience that playing the “Mr. Nice Guy / Mr. Perfect Gentleman” role may work for you in the short run, but in the long run, most women are generally going to want nothing more from you than a good, entertaining platonic relationship with you. Trust me … I’ve experienced this too many times, and probably no less than 90% of the men I know have told me that they’ve experienced the same thing. Very rarely have I developed a long-lasting romantic or sexual relationship with a woman as a direct result of exhibiting Mode Two Behavior. One reason, is because deep down, women know that you’re attempting to play up to their ego. They know that you’re exhibiting “gentlemanly” behavior for the sake of pleasing them. Consequently, they know deep down that if they really wanted to, they could manipulate you, and have their way with you. And for most women, that is not a challenge to their ego. Generally speaking,

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women are not sexually aroused by men who they know they can easily manipulate and/or egotistically dominate. Mode One Behavior is a more demanding, and non-manipulative version of Mode Two Behavior. Mode Two Behavior is much better than Mode Three Behavior, but it isn’t quite as effective as Mode One Behavior.

Mode One Behavior doesn’t have the intention of

manipulating women, nor does it allow or invite manipulative behavior. Just straight up, honest, unapologetic truth. If a woman can’t handle hearing what your true, honest desires, interests, and intentions are, that’s HER PROBLEM. NOT YOURS. If your only interest in approaching a woman is to have one weekend of kinky, casual sex … why ‘beat-around-the-bush’?? What can she do … REJECT YOU??

So what.

Again, rejection from women is

inevitable and necessary. What if she CRITICIZES YOU for having shallow, immoral objectives?? So what. Who is she to judge you. What if she thinks that your manner of expression is TOO FORWARD?? So what. Time is valuable. You don’t have time to waste. And besides … that’s her opinion. Always ignore subjective criticisms and opinionated insults.

Unless you’re a man who is

guided solely by his ego, those criticisms and insults mean nothing. MODE ONE BABY … MAKE IT HAPPEN.

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ALAN ROGER CURRIE WHY MODE ONE BEHAVIOR ELIMINATES MODE THREE BEHAVIOR

Mode One Behavior is the direct antithesis of Mode Three Behavior. They have absolutely NO similarities. Mode Three behavior is a totally fear-based form of behavior.

Mode One Behavior is a

principle-based and confidence-based form of behavior.

Mode

Three is phony and pretentious; Mode One Behavior is all the way real. Mode Three Behavior is misleading, deceptive, and timid; Mode One Behavior is open, honest, and boldly straightforward. There’s really only one reason why men feel compelled to lie to women, mislead women, and manipulate women into giving them the attention and interest they want: They’re cowards. They are verbal wimps. They want something from women (attention, interest, companionship, etc), but they’re afraid to confidently and directly ask for it. A man who exhibits Mode Three Behavior is totally paralyzed by a fear of either being rejected or ignored by women. If you’re a Mode Three “Timid,” then you need to simply develop some courage. In the movie “Three Kings,” Cpl. Archie Gates (George Clooney) says to Soldier Conrad Vig (Spike Jonze), “You're scared, right? The way it works is, you do the thing you're scared sh**less of, and you get the courage AFTER you do it, not before you do it.” That pretty much sums up Mode One Behavior: Confidence and courage is not representative of NOT HAVING ANY FEAR(S), but rather, it’s TAKING ACTION DESPITE HAVING FEARS. The 130

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more you consistently take action (e.g., approach women in a confident manner, express your desires straightforwardly and upfront, etc.), the more you will see that your ‘fears’ will begin to diminish. Fear of rejection is nothing more than the result of allowing your ego to become ‘too attached’ to the idea of receiving a specific response or reaction from women. Your ego can be your friend and YOUR ENEMY. If you’re a Mode Three “Target,” you pretend as though you have confidence towards women, but your sense of confidence is phony. You base your confidence on material possessions and extrinsic achievements. Your false confidence comes from things like how much money you earn, what type of car you drive, what type of neighborhood you live in, or the high status of the job you have. 90% or more of your conversations with women usually revolves around one or more of these superficial characteristics. On the positive end, you will attract some women. You may even attract beautiful, sexy women. On the downside though, very few of these women will be genuinely interested in YOU. They will want to spend time with you, and share your company so they can take advantage of what you have, take advantage of the material gifts and financial favors you offer, and take advantage of the high society parties you invite them to, and the social connections you

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have to offer them. You are a magnet for women who are Erotic Hypocrites and gold diggers. If you date one of these women, or marry them, I can almost guarantee you that some smooth-talking guy with less money than you, but a more legitimate sense of selfconfidence, will eventually be exchanging orgasms with your girlfriend or wife. I’ve seen it happen too many times. If you have problems getting out of a Mode Three rut, the biggest thing you need to do is begin concentrating on exhibiting behavior that is more SELF-CONFIDENT and STRAIGHTFORWARD. Don’t concern yourself with women’s behavior TOWARDS YOU; Only concern yourself with your behavior TOWARDS WOMEN. Don’t even think about, or anticipate, whether or not you’re going to receive

a

“positive”

or

“negative”

response

from women.

Concentrate only on expressing your true needs, desires, interests, and intentions. Let the response take care of itself. Don’t allow women to frighten you (“Timids”) or use you like a dependable “Sugar Daddy” (“Targets”). No matter what your level of wealth or social status is, be MODE ONE.

Why hide your true

interests from a woman?? What can she do … REJECT YOU?? So what. Remember: Rejection prevents you from wasting time with women who are not genuinely interested in you. What can she do … IGNORE YOU?? So what. That just means she’s not your type.

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Rejection is necessary for you to move closer to finding your ideal companion. MODE ONE BABY … MAKE IT HAPPEN. WHY MODE ONE BEHAVIOR PREVENTS MODE FOUR BEHAVIOR

The ONLY reason why any man exhibits Mode Four Behavior, is because he previously exhibited Mode Two and/or Mode Three Behavior, and he ended up having his time wasted, his money wasted, and his ego disrespected and crushed. When you exhibit Mode Four Behavior, you tend to blame everyone else for your anger, frustration, and bitterness more than the person who really deserves the blame: YOU. Nobody told you to take forever to let women know why you really wanted to share their company!

Nobody told you to flatter

women every single time you shared their company! Nobody told you to criticize women repeatedly, but then continue to make efforts to spend time with them! Nobody told you to wine and dine women, and immediately treat them like they were “the one.” That is your fault. As I mentioned in Chapter Five, Mode Four Behavior is essentially after-the-fact Mode One Behavior.

Once you’ve already been

criticized, disrespected, manipulated, rejected, and/or ignored … THEN you all of the sudden begin to express all sorts of harsh criticisms and opinionated insults in a bold and straightforward manner. “The only

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reason why I talked to you for an hour is because I wanted to have kinky sex with you!!!” Ooooh. Now you’re the Big Man. Speaking your mind in an unapologetic manner. Wake up call: IT DOESN’T MAKE A DIFFERENCE NOW. Women don’t want to hear what you have to say, nor do they expect to hear what you’re expressing. The person you’re really angry at, deep down, is YOURSELF. You’re really ticked off because you know that you didn’t really behave in the manner that you really wanted to behave from the beginning of your interaction. Deep down, you wanted to express yourself in a boldly confident, unapologetically straightforward, MODE ONE manner, but you wimped out. Nobody forced you to play the “Mr. Perfect Gentleman” role (well, okay … maybe your domineering mother did). You exhibited Mode Two Behavior … and what did you get? Not even a kiss. Just another platonic female friend. Nobody forced you to lie to women, avoid women, and/or try to impress women with materialistic possessions and superficial achievements. That was YOUR CHOICE. Your fears and insecurities got the best of you. And you got PLAYED. You got manipulated BIG TIME. How much money did those gold diggers charge on your credit card?? How many rent payments did you pay out?? How many expensive dinners did you buy?? Wow. Where are these women who were supposedly “really, really interested in you” now?? You didn’t REALLY think they

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would hang around with you indefinitely did you?? There’s always another Mode Three “Target” with MORE MONEY and MORE SOCIAL STATUS than you!! The EHs and gold diggers go towards the highest bidder. You exhibited Mode Three Behavior … and what did you get? More debt and no long-term companions. Ouch. Someone once said, “the only way a monkey can ride your back is if it’s bent.” I hate to tell you this, but when you frequently exhibit Mode Two Behavior and/or Mode Three Behavior … your back is BENT. In a nutshell, the only way that a woman can treat you in an undesirable, disrespectful manner is if you’re exhibiting behavior that ALLOWS THEM TO treat you in an undesirable, disrespectful manner. That’s the weakness of both Mode Two and Mode Three Behavior: Those forms of behavior allow women to manipulate you, and generally treat you in an undesirable manner. Why? Because both forms of behavior are FEAR-BASED BEHAVIOR.

The

ONLY reason you exhibit Mode Two Behavior (as opposed to Mode One Behavior) is because you’re AFRAID of being harshly criticized or disliked. You want every female you meet to think highly of you, and say “good, positive things” about you. WOMEN’S

NEGATIVE

PERCEPTIONS

DICTATING YOUR BEHAVIOR.

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YOUR FEAR OF OF

YOU

IS

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To exhibit Mode Three Behavior is even WORSE.

The ONLY

reason you exhibit Mode Three Behavior is because you’re dreadfully AFRAID of being rejected and/or ignored by a woman. You want some type of attention from women … even if it’s undesirable or disrespectful. You’d rather be treated like crap, or allow yourself to be ‘used,’ than to be completely and indefinitely ignored. YOUR FEAR OF BEING “BLOWN OFF” AND IGNORED BY WOMEN IS DICTATING YOUR BEHAVIOR. Now, that you’re in a Mode Four state of mind, you try to charm unsuspecting women so that you can eventually bruise their egos and/or cause them emotional turmoil. If you’re really out of control, you’ll become a rapist or serial killer of women (think Ted Bundy). You have SO MUCH pent-up anger and frustration from being dumped on by women, that you are bursting at the seams for egotistical revenge. How do I transform my Mode Four anger into Mode One excitement? LET GO OF THE PAST. Take the blame for most, if not all, of your failed interactions with women. Those women in your past took advantage of you because you made it SO EASY for them to do so! Do you engage in a high degree of “trivial small talk?”

QUIT

DOING THAT. Do you go out of your way to flatter women’s egos constantly?

QUIT DOING THAT.

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Do you frequently offer to

MODE ONE

spend ridiculous amounts of money on women, and wine & dine women, before you even know if they have a definite interest in dating you? QUIT DOING THAT!!! “Start over,” only this time, be MODE ONE. Express your real desires, interests, and intentions in the most CONFIDENT and STRAIGHTFORWARD manner as possible. “What if they criticize me for being too forward?” SO!! “What if they don’t like my approach?” SO!!!

“What if they don’t reciprocate my desires and

interests?” SO!!!! “What if they choose to ignore me altogether??” SO!!!!! Are you going to let a handful of not-so-desirable reactions from women prevent you from being who you really want to be??? For the sake of all MANHOOD … don’t let that happen! YOURSELF.

Be

More importantly, be your CONFIDENT SELF.

YOU are the only person who can prevent you from behaving in a SELF-ASSURED MANNER. Remember that. MODE ONE BABY … MAKE IT HAPPEN. THE SEVEN KEY PRINCIPLES TO EXHIBITING MODE ONE BEHAVIOR

Similar to Steven R. Covey’s The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People©, you can think of the following Mode One principles as the ‘seven habits of improving your verbal communication skills with women.’ I have found that, generally speaking, when you ‘violate’ one or more of these seven principles on a regular or semi-regular 137

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basis in your interactions with women, you will find yourself typically exhibiting Mode Two Behavior and/or Mode Three Behavior, and consequently, feeling ‘angry,’ ‘egotistically frustrated,’ and ‘bitter’ towards those women who did not reciprocate the interests you had in them (Mode Four Behavior). Here are the Seven Primary Principles of maintaining a “Mode One” attitude & demeanor: 1) Never hesitate to approach a woman you find attractive. There are only two valid reasons to avoid approaching a woman: a) You’re not interested in dating that woman, or having sex with her; b) You’re attracted to her, but you already have knowledge that she is married, engaged, or has a serious boyfriend. Other than that, you should never hesitate to approach a woman you’re attracted to. You have to force yourself to take action.

Consistently taking

action is what leads to a higher degree of self-confidence, not lack of rejection. I don’t care if you approach ten women, and nine of them reject you, just the fact that you took action to approach them is going to improve and increase your sense of self-confidence. When you first meet a woman who you’re interested in, don’t concern yourself with how she’s going to respond to you; Only

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concern yourself with what your honest desires, interests, and intentions are, and concentrate on expressing them in the most selfassured and unapologetically straightforward manner as possible. 2) As much as possible, always AVOID trivial, inconsequential ‘small talk’ and/or entertaining, but non-purposeful conversation; When conversing with a woman, there should ALWAYS be a specific purpose for talking with her.

You should always be looking to

express some sort of specific desire, specific interest, and/or specific intention. 3) Never allow yourself to give a woman too much attention that is exceptionally ‘flattering to her ego’; Always avoid fawning over a woman, or filling her head with excessive compliments; This shows weaknesses and insecurities in your ego. With the possible exception of if a woman is your wife, fiancée, or your serious girlfriend, you should never flatter a woman’s ego too frequently. 4) Always avoid giving a woman the impression that she is the only female who is interested in you romantically and/or sexually; Generally, women lose interest in you if they feel that they are the only ones who are interested in you. Interest from women attracts interest from other women. Women are most attracted to men who they know other women find appealing. If you have two or more

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women interested in you, don’t try to hide that.

If anything,

emphasize it. Women tend to become more intrigued by you when they perceive themselves as being in ‘competition’ with other women for your attention, interest, and companionship. 5)

Anytime you express a specific desire to share a woman’s

company, and she asks you something along the lines of “Why should I get together with you?” or “What are we going to do when we hook up?,” DON’T “WIMP OUT.” Let her know in a very confident, self-assured manner what your SPECIFIC desires, interests, and intentions are; If she has an adverse reaction to your suggestions (however provocative they may be), do NOT become apologetic and/or defensive; confidence.

Always maintain a composure of cool, calm,

Wholesome Pretenders and Erotic Hypocrites will

almost always criticize you to ‘test’ you. Most non-manipulative women, if they’re not interested, will simply say “I’m not interested” and end their interaction/conversation with you. If a woman doesn’t share your same interests, move on to the next female. 6) Never go out of your way to “wine & dine” a woman too quickly, or offer her a variety of monetary and/or materialistic gifts when you’re just starting to get to know her; This makes you look like you’re egotistically weak, and desperate for female companionship. A woman should have to earn the privilege of having material gifts

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showered on her by proving her loyalty to you, as well as convincing you that she possesses a true, genuine interest in sharing your company romantically and/or sexually. 7) Never criticize, or try to diminish the appeal, of another man’s appeal to women; That shows signs of egotistical insecurity and Player Hating (e.g., “Oh, that guy is not THAT handsome. . .” or “I don’t see what women see in that guy”); Many times, your jealous and envious comments towards that guy will make him seem more appealing to the women you’re conversing with. In a similar manner, never “whine” and “complain” about what you “don’t like” about women’s behavior, or express frustration regarding the behavior of ex-girlfriends, ex-lovers, or other women in general. No woman wants to date a man, or have sex with a man, who they feel is a weak “whiner” type;

If you cannot tolerate any aspect of a

woman’s behavior, simply leave her alone and move on to the next female. There you have it. These are the seven primary key principles to remember in order to best maintain a Mode One attitude and demeanor. You can add some of your own principles to mine, but the key thing is to STICK TO THEM. Don’t violate them.

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“Will these principles help me attract each and every woman I meet?” NO. No book written will help you achieve that unrealistically ambitious objective. Not only will you not attract every woman you meet, you shouldn’t even want to attract every woman you meet. Not every woman you meet is good for you to connect with. “Will these principles prevent me from being criticized or disliked?” NO.

In many ways, you’re probably going to get criticized

MORE for being so boldly straightforward with women. If Mode One was EASY, all men would exhibit Mode One Behavior. Remember:

Wholesome Pretenders and Erotic Hypocrites will

always criticize the use of Mode One Behavior … at least, initially (then, they will often times give in to your desires once they see you’re not going to wimp out and apologize). There is a difference between a woman not being interested in you, and a woman pretending not to be interested in you. The first thing you learn in sales is that there is a difference between rejection and resistance. There are many women who are attracted to you, but they will resist the idea of dating you or having sex with you until you give them a valid, provocative reason to act on their interest in you.

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“Will these principles prevent me from feeling angry, frustrated, or bitter towards women as a result of them rejecting me or manipulating me?” YES. This is what MODE ONE IS ALL ABOUT. Mode One Behavior will ALWAYS prevent women who are not genuinely interested in you from wasting your time and/or money. What is the ‘magical’ secret of Mode One Behavior?? It’s simply this: Anytime you express your romantic and/or sexual desires, interests, and intentions to a woman in an extremely honest, self-assured, highly specific, and unapologetically straightforward manner, you virtually FORCE THEM to do the EXACT SAME THING.

Very

few, if any women will be able to lead you on. WHEN

YOU

EXHIBIT

TOTALLY

NON-MANIPULATIVE

BEHAVIOR TOWARDS WOMEN, YOU BASICALLY FORCE THEM

TO

EXHIBIT

TOTALLY

NON-MANIPULATIVE

BEHAVIOR TOWARDS YOU. This is the key factor that makes Mode One Behavior so effective. NO MORE MODE TWO BEHAVIOR! Why waste time? NO MORE MODE THREE BEHAVIOR! Why be afraid?

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NO MORE MODE FOUR BEHAVIOR! Why be angry? As I asked you at the beginning of the chapter … “How would you approach women, and behave towards women, if you knew for a 100% fact ahead of time that each and every woman you interacted with was dying to date you, kiss you, and eventually have sex with you, even if they didn’t initially reveal this to you??” You would APPROACH WOMEN MORE CONFIDENTLY. You would EXPRESS YOURSELF STRAIGHTFORWARDLY. You would BE TOTALLY UPFRONT WITH YOUR INTENTIONS You would NEVER ANTICIPATE REJECTION. You would IGNORE SUBJECTIVE CRITICISMS.

You would EXHIBIT MODE ONE BEHAVIOR. Don’t HESITATE. TAKE ACTION. BUILD UP YOUR SELF-CONFIDENCE.

Mode One Baby … Make it happen!! Was this your first time reading this book??

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READ IT AGAIN. READ THIS BOOK OVER, and OVER, and OVER, and OVER AGAIN UNTIL MODE ONE BEHAVIOR BECOMES NATURAL TO YOU. I SINCERELY THANK YOU FOR PURCHASING THIS BOOK. YOU WON’T REGRET IT.

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FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS Ever since I developed the concept of the Four Modes Of Verbal Communication™, and began the process of turning this concept into a published book, I’ve had a number of males, and even females, frequently ask me questions about the Mode One Principles and Philosophy. Here, I will try to answer many of the questions that I’ve been asked the most frequently: • Isn’t “Mode One: Let The Women Know What You’re REALLY Thinking” just another attempt at another “How To Pick Up Women & Seduce Them” styled book?? For the most part, I would have to say NO. It is true, that there have been many men who have incorporated the principles of a Mode One attitude and demeanor for the specific purpose of seducing women, but I can’t say that this is my sole, specific purpose for writing Mode One. For me, I think of being able to attract and seduce women more so as a fringe benefit of exhibiting Mode One Behavior, rather than it’s specific purpose. If anything, I think the primary purpose of Mode One Behavior is to prevent women from manipulating you and disrespecting you, as well as provide men with a framework for conquering their fears of being criticized, disliked, rejected, and/or ignored. Most men can relate to the idea of the “classroom bully.” What do most ‘bullies’ attempt to do? They try to intimidate you and control you by taking advantage of the fears they know you have. With the ‘neighborhood bully,’ they take advantage of your fear of being beat up; With the ‘mean boss,’ it’s your fear of being fired that they take advantage of; With ‘crooked’ cops, it’s the fear of being thrown in jail for no reason that they take advantage of. Well, believe it or not, there are attractive, sexy WOMEN who will try to “punk” you (i.e., try to intimidate you and/or control you) too. In the same way a physical bully uses his size or fighting skills, and a mean-spirited supervisor uses their power and job status, many manipulative women use their beauty, their sex appeal, and popularity with other men to “egotistically punk” you.

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MODE ONE They KNOW that you have a “fear” of being criticized by them, disliked by them, rejected by them, and/or ignored by them, and they take FULL ADVANTAGE OF THIS. This is what leaves you feeling “angry,” “frustrated,” and/or “bitter” many times after conversing with a female, after going out on a date with a female, or just generally having a ‘bad interaction’ with her period. Many times, a man will say that he’s “pissed off” because the woman he just talked to, or went out with, was a “total bitch.” Deep down though, it’s not the woman’s behavior that’s really bothering him. It’s the fact that he allowed that female to EGOTISTICALLY PUNK HIM that has him pissed off. How are we, as men, “egotistically punked” by women? • When a woman’s beauty is so stunning, that you fail to even approach them; Why? Because in your mind, you say “I’m afraid of being rejected, or ‘blown off’ by her”; She has you afraid to take action!! You just got egotistically punked. • When a woman wears sexy, provocative clothes around you, and as a result, you’re constantly “fawning” over her, flattering her, and generally playing up to her ego; Why? Because in your mind, you say “if I act the way I really want to act, she might not flirt with me, and she might ignore me; Therefore, I must play up to her ego in order to keep getting attention from her….” She has you changing your natural behavior in order to please and flatter HER ego!!! You just got egotistically punked. • You want a woman’s attention and companionship so bad, that you spend hundreds of dollars on wining & dining her, even though she hasn’t expressed any desire in dating you, or going to bed with you; Why? Because in your mind, you say “I have to earn some ‘brownie points’; Otherwise, I’m afraid she won’t ‘like me’ as much” She has you treating her to free lunches, dinners, concerts,etc., when she has no real plans of being physical with you!!! You just got egotistically punked. • You meet a woman, and ask for her phone number; She says, “I don’t give out my phone number, but you

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ALAN ROGER CURRIE can give me yours…” What do you do? Enthusiastically write down your phone number. Why? Because in your mind, you say “if I don’t give her my number, I’m afraid I’ll never see or hear from that woman again. I’ll do damn near anything to attract and maintain that woman’s attention.” 95-99% chance, you will never hear from that woman!! She just wanted to see how bad you want her attention!!! You just got egotistically punked. In my mind, conquering your fears is ten times more important than whether or not a woman has sex with you on the first date. • I like most of what you express in “Mode One: Let The Women Know What You’re REALLY Thinking,” but I feel uncomfortable approaching a woman, and immediately expressing my erotic desires in an explicit, graphic, kinky, and/or raunchy manner; I don’t want to be perceived as crass, rude, disrespectful, or highly promiscuous. How do I avoid this?? First of all, exhibiting Mode One Behavior is not specifically about going up to a woman and immediately talking about sex in an “XXX-rated” manner. THIS IS PROBABLY THE BIGGEST MISCONCEPTION ABOUT MODE ONE. In Chapter 6, I mention that I am a fan of John Leslie’s character of “Jack” in the Classic adult film, “Talk Dirty To Me,” because the character of Jack is so “Mode One.” But realistically, you can be “Mode One” while using PG-rated language, PG-13 rated language, or R-rated language. You don’t have to use X-rated, or XXX-rated language in order to be upfront and straightforward about a desire to have [casual] sex, or to let a woman know you’re interested in dating her. I have to set the record straight though: ALL HEALTHY, HETEROSEXUAL MEN WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH WOMEN. Don’t be intimidated when a woman says “Is that all you think about … sex???” Look her dead in her eyes, and say “YES.” Women crack me up trying to prevent MEN FROM BEING MEN. I’ve heard women say things like “I don’t particularly care for a man who just thinks about sex….” That’s crap. Women love sex just as much as men. Don’t ever be fooled. All dating relationships are ultimately about sexual attraction and erotic tension. “What about romance?” What about it? When you have a “romantic” interest in a woman, all that means is that

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MODE ONE you want her to have sex EXCLUSIVELY with YOU on a long-term basis. It’s still based on sexual chemistry. “What about love? Emotional attachment?” What is LOVE without SEXUAL CHEMISTRY?? PLATONIC LOVE. There are only three types of “love”: Spiritual/family love, platonic love, and sexual love. You don’t date a woman, or marry a woman, because of spiritual and/or platonic love. You marry them because you have some degree of interest in having sex with them. Not all men have “promiscuous” intentions, or desires for “one-night stands” or casual sex. We live in a society where the HIV virus is rampant. You have to use common sense, and be sexually responsible. But that doesn’t mean that they can’t express their other desires, interests, and intentions in the most highly self-assured, and straightforward manner. And truthfully, it’s not the “kinky,” sexually provocative talk that turns women on anyway. When you exhibit Mode One, even if you are using sexually explicit language, that’s not really what gets them aroused, assuming they get aroused; It’s the BOLD, “BALLS OUT” BEHAVIOR that results from egotistical indifference that gets them aroused. I’ve had many women confess this to me. “Sex talk,” without a confident demeanor to back it up, means nothing. BOLD CONFIDENCE turns women on. When you say anything, sexual or non-sexual, that women know requires BIG A** BALLS to say, that turns them on. Matter of fact, I’ve had at least a half-dozen women who have communicated to me that “Alan … you want to know what really turns me on in a man? What I really think makes a man ‘sexy’?? It’s a man who DOESN’T REALLY CARE WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OF HIM. Those guys are usually very COCKY and very BOLD.” Women get turned on by men who are highly confident, will speak their mind in a straightforward manner, and will make no apologies for behavior that is not met with an enthusiastic reaction. Why? Because this means that you’re EGOTISTICALLY INDIFFERENT. You’re not afraid of being criticized or disliked. You’re not afraid of being “rejected” or ignored. You’re not seeking ‘approval’ from everyone by being overly deferential and flattering. Forget the emphasis on kinky sex talk. You can tell a woman “I’m sexually attracted to you” rather than say “I want to fu** you.” When exhibiting Mode One, your emphasis should be on conquering your fears, and behaving the way you REALLY want to behave, instead of behaving in the manner that you think will be the most “pleasing,” “flattering,” and/or “accommodating” to a woman’s ego. But remember though, whether your

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ALAN ROGER CURRIE interests are centered around a long-term, romantic relationship, or a shortterm, casual sex interaction, they’re both based on erotic tension and sexual chemistry. • Is it possible to ‘start out’ using Mode Two Behavior, and then ‘gradually’ progress to using Mode One Behavior with a woman?? For the most part, I would have to say NO. I’m not going to say that’s “impossible,” but that’s extremely difficult. Primarily, because part of exhibiting Mode One Behavior means expressing your true desires, interests, and intentions to a woman IMMEDIATELY. When you’re not UPFRONT, and you wait until the third or fourth conversation to confidently and straightforwardly express your true interests, then that’s just a more confident variation of Mode Two Behavior. YOU’RE NOT AS FEARFUL THEN. The problem I have with Mode Two Behavior is that it usually keeps the woman in “egotistical control” of her interactions with you. For the most part, she will be basically “calling the shots.” Mode Two is a fear-based form of behavior. Mode Two is primarily predicated on a fear of being harshly criticized, or disliked. When you exhibit Mode Two Behavior, you want to first prove to a woman who you’re a “good guy,” a “gentleman,” a “trustworthy” guy, a “classy” guy, and a “likable” guy, before you finally express what your true romantic and/or sexual desires are. You’re afraid that if you’re too straightforward too quickly, that it will “turn a woman off,” and you’ll have negative or critical things said about you behind your back. SO WHAT. You know what type of person you are. Who cares about other people’s perceptions and opinions about your behavior. YOU CAN’T PLEASE EVERYBODY. • Mode One seems like it would work only on unrefined, promiscuous, and/or naïve women; I can’t see a classy, highly educated, professional woman with a decent set of morals and values reacting positively to the blunt, provocative straightforwardness of Mode One Behavior. Right or wrong?? Any man who’s exhibited Mode One Behavior towards a number of women, knows that this is far from true. Some of the most enthusiastic responses I’ve

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MODE ONE

received from women after exhibiting Mode One Behavior were from intelligent, educated, “classy” women. Matter of fact, ironically, it’s usually the “unrefined” women who give you the most NEGATIVE reactions. Hey … classy, intelligent, educated women want to date, marry, and have orgasms too. Don’t be silly. Similar to this, I’ve had men say, “Alan … I approached this classy, professional-type woman, and expressed my romantic and sexual desires to her in the most confident, and straightforward manner as possible . . . . . and then, she started ‘going off’ on me. Cursing me out, criticizing my moral upbringing, calling me ‘shallow’ and ‘promiscuous,’ and so on and so on. I then apologized, and felt very regretful.” Shame, shame, shame. YOU’RE A VERBAL WIMP. Listen to this, and listen to me good: NEVER, EVER BECOME APOLOGETIC and/or DEFENSIVE in response to a woman’s SUBJECTIVE CRITICISMS and/or OPINIONATED INSULTS. All she’s doing is TESTING YOU!!!! (Think about Wholesome Pretenders and Erotic Hypocrites) That’s right. When a woman starts going into 10, 20, or 30 minutes of harsh criticism about your cocky, provocatively straightforward behavior, all she’s doing is TESTING THE STRENGTH OF YOUR EGO, and the SIZE OF YOUR BALLS. She’s seeing if you’re real, or “faking the funk” (i.e., “pretending” to be boldly confident, when deep down, you’re really not). I can count at least two dozen times that I’ve had a woman INITIALLY criticize me (sometimes, very harshly), only to later on end up getting together with me, and even dating me or having sex with me. If a woman was 100% not interested in you, she wouldn’t take the time to criticize you or insult you. She would just immediately end the conversation and proceed to ignore you. If a woman is able to cause you to apologize for your behavior as a direct result of her criticisms, what does that tell a female subconsciously?? “I CAN MANIPULATE, INTIMIDATE, AND CONTROL THIS MAN WITH CRITICISM. HE IS AFRAID OF BEING CRITICIZED or DISLIKED BY ME.” Don’t be a verbal wimp … ALL YOUR LIFE.

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ALAN ROGER CURRIE • What if I am attracted to a co-worker, or business colleague of mine, and I want to express my romantic and/or sexual interests to her in a confident, straightforward manner, but I don’t want to risk being accused of “sexual harassment”??? Generally speaking, I would say that you should ALWAYS AVOID expressing romantic and sexual desires to a co-worker or subordinate. The rules regarding sexual harassment these days are crazy and out of control. I wouldn’t even dare risk expressing a desire to be physically romantic or sexual with a woman in the workplace. The consequences are just too great. I actually have “mixed” feelings on the whole idea of sexual harassment. On one end, I don’t believe ANY WOMAN should ever be truly HARASSED. By “harassed,” I mean having a guy PERSISTENTLY make unwanted romantic and/or sexual advances to a woman who works with him, or for him. But many accusations of “sexual harassment” are NOT really representative of “harassment.” I’ve heard of women wanting to accuse a male co-worker or supervisor of sexual harassment simply for asking them out on a date, or telling them that their dress was sexy. That’s crap. A one-time comment, question, or advance is NOT harassment. To harass a woman means to repeatedly and persistently make advances towards a woman after a woman has ALREADY let you know that she’s not interested. Sorry though. This book is not about harassment. You have to use common sense.

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GLOSSARY Note: While these terms may have certain meanings apparent to the lay public, this glossary is added for clarification of the meanings as particularly applied in this book. Alpha Male Syndrome (AMS): When a man takes on the animal-like attitude that the most physically dominant males should have the highest degree of popularity with the most desirable women, and that less dominant males should ‘submit’ to their authority and influence. (Chapter Seven) Dark Side: That aspect of a person’s character or personality that is inherently evil, immoral, or perverted. Usually is revealed when a man is in a Mode Four state of mind. (Chapter Five) “Dissed”: A slang term that is a variation of “disrespected”; When a man or woman fails to acknowledge your presence, and/or fails to reciprocate your desires and interests, in a blatantly disrespectful manner. (Chapter Five) “Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde” Behavior: Based on the characters created by Robert Louis Stevenson (1886), this is the behavior that is attributed to a man who frequently vacillates between Mode Two Behavior and Mode Four Behavior. (Chapter Five) Effective Behavior: Any form of behavior you exhibit that is highly conducive to the achievement of your desired goals and objectives. For example, when you express your desires, interests, and intentions in an honest, straightforward, and upfront manner. Egotistical Indifference: The primary basis for exhibiting Mode One Behavior. When you’re “egotistically indifferent,” this means that you never become too excited in response to flattery, nor do you feel too offended or dejected by subjective criticisms or opinionated insults. When a man allows his ego to become ‘too attached’ to receiving a

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ALAN ROGER CURRIE specific type of reaction or response from women, this is what ultimately causes his fears of criticism and rejection. Erotic Hypocrites (EHs): Manipulative women who possess a specific desire to date and marry men who have a high degree of wealth, education, and social status; They will generally hide their true sexual interests and sexual history from their potential mates, as well as harshly criticize men and other women for engaging in freespirited sexual practices, even though they enjoy unconventional forms of sexual pleasure themselves. (Chapter Six) Erotic Tension: Basically, the cause of sexual chemistry. Erotic tension usually develops when one’s ego is challenged and/or frustrated by the behavior of a member of the opposite sex. Bold, provocative behavior usually creates erotic tension. “Gentleman”: A man who is perceived as honorable, courteous, considerate, and exceptionally well-mannered and polite. This is usually the image that all men who exhibit Mode Two Behavior strive for. (Chapter Three) Ineffective Behavior: Any behavior that you exhibit that is counterproductive to the achievement of your desired goals and objectives; For example, when you express your desires, interests, and intentions in a cautious, indirect, and/or deceitful manner. Manipulative Behavior: Behavior that is not totally honest, but at the same time, not totally dishonest; Usually involves either the use of tangible and intangible “incentives” and “rewards,” or the use of deceptive, misleading behavior, in an attempt to achieve a selfserving objective. (Chapter Two) Misogyny / Misogynistic Behavior: When a man is physically and sexually attracted to women, but has a deep felt hatred and lack of respect for females as human beings. Men who exhibit Mode Four Behavior are typically misogynists. (Chapter Five) “Nice” Behavior: Behavior that, on the positive side, is generally polite, friendly, enthusiastic, and entertaining, but on the negative

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MODE ONE side, is usually too lenient, too cautious, and/or too accommodating. Usually exhibited by a Mode Two “Gentleman.” (Chapter Three) Platonic Interest: When a person is interested in communicating with you, and sharing your company, on a regular or semi-regular basis, but in a totally non-romantic, non-sexual manner. (Chapter Three) Player Hater: A person who dislikes others for no other reason than the fact they are jealous and envious of their social status, level of career and financial success, and/or their degree of popularity with others. (Chapter Seven) Real Behavior: Behavior that is representative of your true desires, interests, intentions, and character; Behavior that is devoid of any phony or pretentious airs. (Chapter Eight) Romantic Interest: When a person is interested in communicating with you, and sharing your company, within the context of a committed, monogamous sexual relationship (Chapter Two) Sexual Interest: When a person is interested in sharing your company for the primary, if not specific purpose, of exchanging pleasurable orgasms. (Chapter Two) Small Talk: Any conversation that you engage in with another that is usually trivial and meaningless, but to some degree, entertaining; The content of the conversation has nothing to do with your needs, desires, long-term intentions, or true interests. (Chapter One) Strong Behavior: Any form of behavior you exhibit that makes it virtually impossible for others to manipulate you, disrespect you, and/or cause you to change or compromise your personal principles and values without a valid purpose. Targets: A man who frequently exhibits Mode Three Behavior that usually has a high degree of wealth and social status; These men will typically engage in a lot of pretentious, uninteresting small talk with women which usually revolves around what they own, what they’ve

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ALAN ROGER CURRIE accomplished, and what they have to offer financially and materialistically. (Chapter Four) Timids: A man who frequently exhibits Mode Three Behavior that usually has very little, if any, courage or self-confidence; These men will typically avoid approaching and interacting with women altogether. (Chapter Four) Unapologetically Straightforward: When a man is exhibiting Mode One Behavior (or Mode Four Behavior), and he expresses his desires, interests, and intentions in an extremely unambiguous and forthright manner, without giving any hint of shame or regret for their manner of expression. (Chapter Eight) Verbal Wimp: A person who allows their fear of being criticized, disliked, rejected, or ignored to prevent them from expressing their true desires, interests, and intentions to others in an honest, confident, upfront, and straightforward manner. (Chapter Four) Weak Behavior: Any form of behavior you exhibit that makes it fairly easy for others to manipulate you, disrespect you, and/or provoke you to change or compromise your personal principles and values without valid cause. Wholesome Pretenders (WPs): Manipulative women who give off the public impression that they are the living personification of wholesomeness, chaste, sexual conservatism, and monogamous virtues, when in reality, these same women have frequently experienced “one-night stands” and “casual flings.” (Chapter Six)

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Other Books I Would Recommend As I mentioned in my acknowledgements, there are a number of other authors whose books, philosophies, knowledge, and wisdom either directly, or indirectly, influenced many of my own principles and philosophies represented in this book. Inevitably, I’m going to leave someone out, but here is my list of books you might want to take a look at, that I consider to be high-quality: James Allen: “As A Man Thinketh” Michael Baisden: “Never Satisfied: How & Why Men Cheat” Dr. Brad Blanton: “Radical Honesty: How To Transform Your Life By Telling The Truth” Dr. Harriet B. Braiker: “Who’s Pulling Your Strings? How To Break The Cycle of Manipulation and Regain Control of Your Life” and “The Disease To Please” Kelly Bryson: “Don’t Be Nice, Be Real: Balancing Passion For Self with Compassion for Others” Dr. Susan Campbell: “Getting Real: Ten Truth Skills You Need to Live An Authentic Life” Stephen R. Covey: “The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People” and “The 8th Habit: From Effectiveness to Greatness” Jon Favreau: “Swingers: The Swingers’ Rules and a Screenplay” Dr. Susan Forward (with Donna Frazier): “Emotional Blackmail: When the People In Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You” Dr. Susan Jeffers: “Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway” Alfie Kohn: “Punished By Rewards: The Trouble With Gold Stars, Incentive Plans, A’s, Praise, and Other Bribes” Rom Wills: “Nice Guys & Players: Becoming The Man Women Want”

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HARDCORE THE DEFINITIVE GUIDE TO HAVING CASUAL SEX WITH WOMEN WHO DON’T NORMALLY HAVE CASUAL SEX ____________________________________________________________________________

Alan Roger Currie Mode One Enterprises Hollywood, CA 90046

© Copyright 2007, Alan Roger Currie All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the author.

CONTENTS Introduction 1.

2. 3. 4. 5.

6. 7.

1

Women Love To Exchange Orgasms Just As Much, If Not More, Than Men Do

3

The Power of Direct Eye Contact and the Quality & Tone of Your Voice

5

Don’t Concentrate on Results!! It’s THE APPROACH That Matters

7

Going Out On “Dates” with Women is Ineffective and OUTDATED

10

Harsh Criticisms and Opinionated Insults from Women are Nothing More Than a Test

15

Quit Trying to “Impress” Women and Simply Concentrate on Having Sex

19

Sexual Companionship: WANT It, But DON’T NEED It.

24

Closing Comments

27

http://www.modeone.net

Introduction Men ... you asked for it, so you got it. A number of those who read my previous Ebook and paperback, Mode One: Let The Women Know What You're REALLY Thinking enjoyed it, and expressed a lot of words of support and gratitude, and for that I am appreciative. Many men had two comments though: "Alan ... do you have an Ebook version that is shorter? More condensed?? That just covers the 'meaty' stuff??" and "I'm not looking for my next girlfriend or future wife. Honestly? I'm just looking to have casual sex with women. Are there any principles you have and/or suggestions you have that would result in the achievement of such an objective??" Like I said, you asked for it ... so you got it.

Some of the

principles of this Ebook are exactly the same as my previous Ebook, but some thoughts, ideas, principles, and philosophies are specifically geared more so towards a casual, no-strings attached, non-monogamous relationship rather than a long-term, emotionally profound, monogamous dating relationship. Many critics and naysayers suggest that "God does not approve of casual, non-monogamous sex." Since when did God approve of premarital fornication commonly known as "boyfriend-girlfriend" sex, or sex while you're engaged?? Look in the Bible. Nowhere 1

will you see that. So you puritanical prude types and self-righteous sexual hypocrite types can just keep your thoughts to yourselves. If you thoroughly enjoyed this Ebook after reading it, write me a note at "[email protected]" letting me know your thoughts. I would surely appreciate it.

2

CHAPTER ONE Women Love To Exchange Orgasms Just As Much, If Not More, Than Men Do Various factions of the Media and the Entertainment Industry have fooled us into believing that men are the "hornier sex." Yeah, right. Women walk around showing off their breasts, cleavage and ass ... obvious signs that they want sexual attention ... but yet, men are perceived to be the "hornier gender??" Puhleaze. Spare me. Women love to enjoy themselves sexually.

Write that down.

Women LOVE TO EXCHANGE ORGASMS.

Women love

experiencing sexual pleasure and orgasms just as much, if not more, than men do. "I rarely see women seeking out one-night stands...." So. Would you want to eat good food ONE TIME? No. Women don't want good sex ONE TIME. Or even two times or three times. Women want good sex on a REGULAR BASIS. That's why many women don't care for one-night stands, weekend flings, or a few days and/or a few weeks of "just-for-fun" sex. Can you really blame them? If something is enjoyable and pleasurable, we want it MONTHLY, WEEKLY, or DAILY. Hell, even hourly. 3

Don't ever make the mistake of confusing a woman's lack of interest in IRREGULAR or OCCASIONAL sex as a lack of interest in ENJOYABLE sex.

The two are not even hardly

synonymous. Most, if not all women, are socialized by their parents, older relatives, and society in general to be "good girls" who should refrain from engaging in sex "just-for-fun." Men are not socialized in the same manner. Most men are practically ENCOURAGED to pursue casual sex. Women are brought up to believe that if they engage in sexual relations with a man outside the context of a "husband-wife" relationship or outside the context of a "boyfriendgirlfriend" relationship, that they will be perceived as a "slut" or a "whore." The reality is though, women want to "get their freak on" just like men do. Women love it when you make them cum in a manner that makes them almost sing with moaning pleasure, and makes their legs, thighs and damn near their whole body quiver. Trust me ... even when women are [publicly] giving you the impression that the idea of no-strings attached sex is totally unappealing to them, at least 50-60% of those women (if not more) are lying to you to maintain their "innocent, wholesome, semiprudish" image. Don't be fooled. 4

CHAPTER TWO The Power of Direct Eye Contact and the Quality & Tone of Your Voice Men ask me all of the time: "Alan, I know you say in your book that verbal communication is important ... but what about nonverbal communication??

Isn't that important too in attracting

and/or seducing women?" Of course it is. I never say in my original Mode One book that it is not. No form of non-verbal communication is more important than confident, direct eye-contact. I cannot even begin to emphasize to you the power in your EYES. You ever wonder why my "Mode One" logo emphasizes my eyes?

Whenever you approach a

woman, you should always look her DEAD INTO HER EYES in the most highly self-assured manner as possible.

You

communicate a lot of 'subtle, subconscious messages' with your eyes. When you approach a woman, and look down at the floor, or frequently look slightly to the right side of her face, or slightly to the left side of her face, or slightly above her eyebrows or below her nose, that gives off hints of cowardice, fear, insecurities, and low self-esteem. LOOK THAT WOMAN IN HER EYES. The quality and tone of your voice is important too. High pitched 5

voices, or voices with a lot of pauses and hesitations in them just don't work. Your voice should have sort of an "even" inflection to it.

Almost like one of those voice-over artists who do those

"hypnotic self-improvement" audio tapes. Everything about your voice should give a woman the impression that "I am very confident that you and I are going to hook up sexually in the near future." Women love men who can sing. Why? Because they love listening to music, and a man with a nice voice.

Get out a mini-tape

recorder and record your voice, as if you're recording a voice mail greeting. How does your voice sound to you? If you can tweak it or improve upon it, do so. How do you sound when you're “talking dirty” to a woman while having sex? I would bet your voice sounds very smooth and even. That's how you should sound when you're talking to a woman when you first meet them. Next woman you approach, concentrate on looking directly into her eyes ... and speaking to her in a smooth, even-toned voice.

6

CHAPTER THREE Don’t Concentrate on Results!! It’s THE APPROACH That Matters Honestly, I'm not a big fan of many books and Ebooks that are sold in what is referred to as "The Online Seduction Community." 8090% of them are bullshit and full of unsubstantiated hype. You are never going to attract every woman you meet, or seduce every woman you meet. That is reality check principle #1. You are never going to totally and consistently prevent every woman you meet from rejecting you.

That is reality check

principle #2. You are never going to totally and completely prevent every woman you meet from having occasional "negative reactions" to something you do and/or say to them.

That is reality check

principle #3. Any book you read that says otherwise is trying to seduce YOU (not women) into believing bullshit. I don't care if you're Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Shemar Moore, or any other "handsome hunk" type. Somewhere, at some time, some woman is going to reject you, criticize some aspect of your 7

behavior, or at minimum, let you know that she wants nothing more than a platonic interaction with you. Get used to it. When I approach a woman, I really don't care about getting the results I want. "Huh?!?," you say. To some, that doesn't make sense.

It makes perfect sense to me.

You can never allow

yourself, or more specifically, your EGO, to become too attached to specific, desired responses, reactions, and/or results from women. I said that in my original version of "Mode One." For me, HOW I APPROACH A WOMAN is far more important to me than WHAT RESULTS I GET. Your approach to a woman ... particularly for casual sex ... has to be bold and extremely self-assured. No exceptions. You have to walk to a woman with the cocky attitude of, "I KNOW you want me to fuck you. I KNOW YOU DO." That should always be your underlying attitude and demeanor with women. "What if I have that cocky attitude, and I get rejected?" SO WHAT. I guarantee you .... that woman is going to tell all of her girlfriends, "I didn’t have sex with that guy ... but DAMN! [your first name here] is so fucking confident! He approached me like he just KNEW I was going to have sex with him!!" (Not a joke. Even women I never ended up sleeping with would tell their girlfriends about how "bold" I was in my approach. Guess what? Some of those girlfriend got CURIOUS) 8

I can't say this enough:

ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS

CONCENTRATE ON HOW YOU APPROACH WOMEN ... not the results from that approach.

For the most part, a woman's

reaction or response to your approach is OUT OF YOUR CONTROL.

Only she has control over how she chooses to

respond to you at that moment. Remember ... if you read my original version ... NEVER BACK DOWN or APOLOGIZE for ANYTHING you said to a woman. I don't care how cocky it was, how straightforward it was, how sexually provocative it was, or how "socially inappropriate" she perceived your comment(s) to be.

Don't ever back down,

apologize, or become defensive in regards to anything you say to a woman. If you do, you're dead meat. Seriously. You will lose all respect and credibility with a woman. IF YOU SAY SOMETHING BOLD ... STAND BY IT. No matter how harshly she criticizes your comment(s). Put this thought in the back of your mind ... consciously or subconsciously ... when you approach women:

"Even if this

woman rejects me ... I want my 'consolation prize' to be that she remembers me for how BOLD and HIGHLY SELF-ASSURED my approach was." That is an attitude I always maintain when I'm Mode One with women. 9

CHAPTER FOUR Going Out On “Dates” with Women is Ineffective and OUTDATED Asking a woman out on a "date" is complete and utter bullshit. Especially if your objective is simply casual sex. A complete waste of time and/or money. If you've recently asked a woman out on a date, STOP THAT SHIT RIGHT NOW. Seriously. I've never had long-term sexual success with a woman who I went out on a number of dates with before having sex with them. After you have sex with them? Sure. Go ahead and take them out to a movie, or to dinner. I have no criticisms of that. But BEFORE you fuck them?? Oh, hell no. NEVER. What does treating a woman to lunch really accomplish? I mean, really. Same with dinner-date, movie-date, concert-date, or any other "date." The vast majority of women I had casual, nonmonogamous sex with I just met them, and eventually fucked them. No "dates." When you first meet a woman, you should never offer to spend money on a woman in order to simply "get to know her," or to find out if she's interested in having sex with you. You're shooting yourself in the foot by engaging in that outdated, invalidly traditional bullshit ritual. 10

My attitude is, you approach a woman .... look her directly in the eyes .... and very confidently and straightforwardly let her know that you want to exchange orgasms with her at some point in the near future. Then, for all practical purposes, just LEAVE HER ALONE. "Huh?," you ask. That's right. Just LEAVE HER ALONE. Once you let a woman know clearly and straightforwardly that you want to fuck her, there is really no need to say anything else to her until she says to you, "Okay. Your place or mine?," or something to that effect. Don't ever "sweat" a woman or "jock" a woman for sex (urban slang for being too aggressive and/or too persistent in your pursuit of sexual companionship). You (approaching the woman, all the while looking into her eyes) Her (waiting for you to say something while she's reciprocating your eye contact) You (confidently in a smooth voice): "Let's get together sometime in the next week or two...." Her (curious): "I don't even know you." You (smirking): "So." Her (perplexed): "So ...." 11

You (calm): "I say one week from Friday." Her (curious):

"And just what would we do one week from

Friday...." You (cocky): "Exchange orgasms." Uh oh. Are you ready for the potential responses and reactions?? You better be. This conversation is either going to become far more provocative ... or far more antagonistic and contentious. Her: "Excuse me?!?!?" You: "You're excused." Her: "Oh my God ... I don't believe you just said that!!!!!" You: "Believe it. I said it." Her: "I'm a respectable lady!!" You: "I don't doubt that. I only approach women who are worthy of respect." Her: "I'm not an easy whore!!" You: "Which is exactly why I want us to get together…" 12

Her: "I don't just sleep with anyone!!!" You: "Neither do I...." Her: "I have to get to know a man before I have sex with him!!!" You (sarcastic): "My favorite color is blue. Now, one week from Friday...." Her: "You might be a stalker!! You might be crazy!!!" You: "Then why are you still standing in front of me." Her: "I'm not just a disposable piece of ass!!" You: "I'm not just a disposable piece of dick." Her: "I bet you talk like this to all women!" You: "Right now, let's just concentrate on you and I ...." Here is an exercise for you: Try to think of every conceivable reaction a woman could give you that is critical, insulting, skeptical, or simply negative in response to you saying something really bold to her, and/or you saying something really sexually straightforward to her. Try to be creative, cocky, and egotistically 13

indifferent in your response to their responses. Trust me ... if a woman is criticizing you ... but she's CONTINUING TO TALK TO YOU ... she's intrigued by you to one degree or another.

95-99.9% of the time, if a woman is

genuinely not interested in you, she will abruptly end the conversation. Game over.

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CHAPTER FIVE Harsh Criticisms and Opinionated Insults from Women is Nothing More Than a Test Following up the latter part of the previous chapter, when a woman goes to great lengths to criticize you, that doesn't necessarily mean that she's not interested in you. This usually means she's simply egotistically frustrated that you are not exhibiting "predictable," conventional, "socially appropriate" behavior towards her. You see, most women are thoroughly prepared to respond to just about everything a man says to them. Especially if it is basic, flattering, or polite.

On the other hand, most women are not

prepared for blunt, cocky, straightforward honesty. That throws most women for a loop.

And that's why they will unleash a

barrage of criticisms against you. Deep-down, they don't really know what to say. You caught them off guard. If you’re attempting to seduce a woman into having casual sex, and it happens to be a woman who normally doesn’t indulge in casual sex, then you have the added challenge on your hands of “breaking through” her societal brainwashing, her long-maintained belief system, and her overall ‘social programming.’ Exhibiting behavior that is “too basic” and/or “too conventional” won’t accomplish this. You have to give this woman a psychological “jolt,” so to speak. 15

Women like to "test" a man's sense of backbone. If they criticize you ... especially harshly ... and you back down or quickly apologize, you're letting a woman know what you really don't have any true BALLS. You're "pretending" to have balls. Women like a man who REALLY has BALLS. When I say something bold to a woman .... sexually provocative to a woman .... or something ultra-cocky to a woman ... I never, ever back down from it or apologize for it. Fuck that. I know what I want to say to women, I say it, and then I don't think twice about it. My attitude is, if a woman rejects me ... she just does. That is her CHOICE. Again, women are socialized to present themselves as "good girls." They believe they will have a better chance of attracting a husband if they present themselves as an innocent, wholesome, semiprudish, monogamous-minded "good girl." The reality is, that is bullshit. There are erotic strippers and even female porno stars who have boyfriends and husbands, while there are "sexually conservative" women who go to church every Sunday, or never use profanity, who have never been married, and have been single for three, five, or ten plus years. You want a "good girl?" You can have them. Give me a freak. Not a straight-up "ho," but a kinky freak. I love women who have a sensuous, erotically uninhibited way about them Many times I will approach a woman, and intentionally use Xrated language, or even XXX-rated language, JUST TO SEE 16

WHAT SORT OF RESPONSE I'M GOING TO GET. If a woman gets all "theatrical" and starts expressing herself like a phony, pretentious, self-righteous prude, that lets me know that I really don't need to be interacting with her in the first place. If she is sort of amused by it .... even if she doesn't use profanity and/or erotically explicit language herself ... that tells me something too. That this woman is cool, and down-to-earth. Just my type. Women who are highly manipulative HATE sexually straightforward behavior. I mean, they hate it. Why? Because women can't manipulate you or mislead you when you are totally upfront, specific, and straightforward with your sexual intentions. You literally prevent them from misleading you, toying with your feelings and/or your ego, manipulating you, or just generally wasting your time (and money). If you approach a woman and say, "I want you to suck my dick at 10:00 PM next Friday night," how can a woman mislead you? How can she manipulate you? Either she does it ... or she doesn't. No in-between. No games. But if you approach a woman like a chump, and politely ask her out on a "date," then that is when a woman can toy with you. Yes sir. BIG TIME. A woman can toy with you, mislead you, frustrate you, and just generally manipulate you and waste your time. That's why I don't like expressing my interests to women in a vague, ambiguous, overly general, and/or cautious manner. Because that is when a woman can "work her manipulative magic," and leave you feeling angry, frustrated, and bitter. 17

Women love to "test" men to see if they're manipulative "bait." Once a woman knows that she can get you to please her with your behavior, flatter her with your behavior, and accommodate her wants, needs, and spoiled preferences with your behavior, you're dead meat. Don't fail the test. Always concentrate on getting her to open those legs for you. brainwashing.

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Challenge that “good girl”

CHAPTER SIX Quit Trying to “Impress” Women and Simply Concentrate on Having Sex Take all of that B.S. brainwashing you've received from your mother, aunts, sisters, school teachers, church leaders, and society in general, and just delete it from your mindset. All that "you should be a 'nice guy' and a 'gentleman' with women" crap. Women are not attracted to "nice guys." Period. "Does that mean they like 'jerks' and 'assholes'??" Not necessarily. You don't need to intentionally attempt to behave like a "jerk" or an "asshole" in order to attract women. You just need to truly be yourself. Even if being your true self means that you will be perceived by some women as “shallow” and/or “superficial.” Is wanting to get laid, outside the context of a relationship, "shallow?" Many women would argue "yes." I argue "no." Do people call wanting to get a job solely for a paycheck "shallow?" Nope. They call that EARNING A LIVING. Do people call going to a restaurant specifically to fill up your stomach "shallow?" Nope. They call that EATING and PROVIDING YOUR BODY WITH NUTRIENTS. Do people call women who want to marry men who make six or seven figures "shallow?" Most of the time, no. They call that simply "marrying up." 19

My attitude is, if you want to fuck a woman just for the sake of fucking her, do it.

As long as you're upfront and

straightforwardly honest about your desires, interests, and intentions ... and you don't have any STDs to be transmitted to her .... and you're not looking to rape her, physically abuse her, or blatantly disrespect her or mislead her in any sort of way .... then I say "go for it." Men and women need to exchange orgasms. Start a war or exchange orgasms? The latter. Rob a bank or exchange orgasms? The latter.

Vandalize someone else's property or exchange

orgasms? The latter. Sit around bored and jacking off to porno movies or exchange orgasms?? The latter. Want a one-night stand?

Tell that woman.

She'll either

reciprocate or reject you. So what. Weekend fling? Tell that woman. She'll either reciprocate or reject you. So what. "Friends with Benefits" relationship?

Tell that woman.

She'll either

reciprocate or reject you. So what. Threesome with a woman and one of her girlfriends? What do you have to lose? Tell her. She'll either reciprocate or reject you. So what. I don't encourage any man to pursue another man's girlfriend, fiancée, or wife for sexual companionship. If you're bold enough to do that, more power to you. But if you get stabbed or shot, don't look at me. I told you not to do that stupid shit. I only pursue single, unattached women. Similarly, be careful (i.e., use condoms 20

unless you know for a 100% fact that your future sex partner is sexually healthy, and doesn't have a history of STDs). "Don't people frown upon the pursuit of casual sex?" Of course some people do. I told you. Most women don't like irregular companionship. That is frustrating to them. Some men even don't like it, because they don't want their sisters, mothers, or daughters getting fucked doggy-style in the back of some guy's car. Men are sexually hypocritical like that. They want to fuck YOUR SISTER, but they don't want you fucking THEIR SISTER.

Same with

daughters and mothers. It's your life. Do what you want to do. Again, as long as you're being UPFRONT, SPECIFIC, and STRAIGHTFORWARDLY HONEST about your sexual desires, interests, and intentions, then go for it. "Isn't it highly likely that 'classy' women ... educated women ... or professional, conservative women will reject you quickly if you express an interest in just casual sex? Don't you have to at least give them the [misleading] impression that you want a long-term, monogamous relationship with them??" Anyone who knows me knows that I am not down for misleading women and/or manipulating a woman into my bed. Forget that. Not only is it unethical, it's UNNECESSARY. There are plenty of women who are attractive, college-educated, self-sufficient, 21

professional, and even "conservative" (at least in public) that will have casual sex with you.

Seriously.

I've experienced this a

NUMBER OF TIMES. Again, you just have to challenge their brainwashing and social programming. Prove to them that not everything they were led to believe is valid. What's the secret with women like this? You have to test their boundaries. Again, you can't be 'basic' or 'conventional' in your conversation with them. You have to push the envelope. You have to. You have to talk about sex in a way that makes them feel a wee bit uneasy and uncomfortable. "I thought the idea was to make a woman feel relaxed and comfortable in your presence?" No sir. That my friend is overrated. I like to make a woman feel a tad bit "uncomfortable" when I'm talking about exchanging orgasms.

Why?

Because that let's me know that she's not

accustomed to this sort of conversation, and that I'm leading her into "new territory." Talk about doing things sexually that you pretty much know she's never done before. Threesomes. Making out with another woman. Videotaped sex. Etc. That's what I do. And sure enough, usually ... at some point (days later, weeks later, months later), I end up converting that former "good girl" into my new personal, kinky freak. I allow her to unleash her most kinky thoughts and desires. All women have an "Inner Freak" inside WAITING TO GET OUT, but it’s temporarily “locked up.” You need to be the man who has the "key" to unleash that lock. 22

"Won't I get slapped if I'm too 'X-rated' with a woman in a nightclub or public place?" I've never been slapped by a woman for being "too XXX-rated." But then again, I rarely hit on women in nightclubs. Nightclubs are not good places to hit on women. Seriously.

Most of the women who go to nightclubs and

bar/restaurants go to show off their health-club produced figures, their new outfits, and generally just soak up flattering attention from men. The only time I go to nightclubs is to hang out with male friends of mine. In my opinion, the best public venues to hit on women are bookstores, libraries, and grocery stores. I love those places. I've had great success at all three. Even a health & fitness club or post office is better than a nightclub and/or a bar/restaurant. The latter two places primarily attract Attention Whores and Cock Teasers. I have no desire to interact with any women in those categories. There is a difference between treating a woman like a “kinky freak,” and treating a woman like a “piece of ass” or a “two-bit whore.” No woman likes the latter. Most women though will respond to the former. To treat a woman like a ‘freak’ means you’re acknowledging that she’s kinky, but you still respect her as a woman. To treat a woman like a ‘whore’ means you want to just shoot your cum on her face, and never, ever call her again or speak to her again afterwards. Not too many women are down for that. Remember that.

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CHAPTER SEVEN Sexual Companionship: WANT it, But DON’T NEED it. Here are Alan Roger Currie's final Top Ten Keys to seducing women into casual sex: 1)

Do some sort of exercise every day, or every other day.

Jogging, push-ups, pull-ups, sit-ups/crunches, etc. You want to always look reasonably healthy and athletic. 2) When you approach women, look them DIRECTLY INTO THEIR EYES. Don't look away. 3) Speak in the same voice that you would if you were “talking dirty” to them while you were fucking them. Calm, confident, smooth, and seductive. 4) Express your desire to have sex with a woman in a highly selfassured, upfront, and straightforwardly honest manner … and make no apologies for doing so. 5) Don't be scared to be sexually provocative and/or "X-rated" in your language. If she responds very negatively and/or prudishly, more-than-likely, you don't really need to hook up with that woman anyway (at least, not for casual sex). 24

6) Keep flattery and compliments to a bare minimum. Similarly, keep trivial "fluff talk" and/or "small talk" to a bare minimum. Nothing diminishes your “seductive influence” over a woman like too much flattery and/or too much unnecessary ‘small talk.’ 7) Always be prepared to respond to a woman's criticisms and "negative reactions." Think of anything they might say in response to something you say ahead-of-time, and write it down. Then use your ready-made responses when the time comes. 8)

Don't ever back down and/or apologize for saying

something to a woman that was bold, cocky, or X-rated. THIS IS CRUCIAL. 9) As much as possible, avoid talking to women when they have two or more girlfriends with them. Only talk to them one-on-one, or at most, with one other girlfriend around. Avoid hitting on women at nightclubs and bar / restaurants as much as possible. 10) Most important key of all: Don't ever allow yourself to NEED pussy. Only allow yourself to WANT IT. When you NEED pussy, you won't GET PUSSY. Women rarely will have sex ... and especially casual sex ... with a guy who comes across as 'desperate' and/or 'needy.'

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Offering to "wine & dine" women is "needy."

Excessively

flattering women is "needy." Calling a woman repeatedly when she hasn't returned your first call is "needy." Allowing a woman to treat you in a disrespectful and/or undesirable manner is "needy. DON'T EVER ALLOW YOURSELF TO NEED SEXUAL COMPANIONSHIP. WANT IT ... BUT DON'T NEED IT. The biggest thing that most guys don’t get about rejection is that quick rejection is always to your advantage. ALWAYS. Why? It prevents a woman from misleading you, manipulating you, “stringing you along,” and getting favors out of you without getting the pussy first. Remember: Rejection … and specifically, quick rejection … is “win-win.” Why? Because if a woman rejects you [quickly], and she’s genuinely not interested in you, then she is preventing you from wasting time and money pursuing her attention and companionship for nothing. WIN. If a woman is ‘pretending’ not to be interested in you, then at some point in the future … days later, weeks later, months later … that woman is going to seek out your attention again. WIN. One thing I know about highly manipulative women: They never like to reject a guy too quickly. They want you to spend money on them, flatter them, engage in hours of entertaining small talk with them, and/or perform out-of-the-way ‘favors’ for them FIRST before rejecting you. Remember that.

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CLOSING COMMENTS Let loose of your inhibitions towards casual sex.

Sex is sex.

Orgasms are orgasms. Most "boyfriend-girlfriend" relationships are bullshit anyway. If you're not married, the relationship is not legally monogamous .... or even sanctioned by God. Only married relationships meet the approval of God in the Bible. As far as I'm concerned, most "boyfriend-girlfriend" relationships are simply a variation of a long-term casual sex relationship anyway. You want to exchange orgasms with a woman? Tell her. Walk up to her ... look her directly in the eyes ... maintain a calm, smooth, confident quality & tone of voice .... and just let her know in your own unique way that you want to fuck her silly. If she's down, cool. If casual sex is not her cup of tea, that's her choice. If she's just not attracted to you .... you have to respect that. But don't allow fear of rejection or fear of criticism to get the best of you. And please ... again ... don't 'sweat' a woman, 'jock' a woman, or go out of your way to try to "impress" her. Just concentrate on getting in bed with her. Nothing else. Nothing else. Concentrate on sliding that hard dick of yours in her tight, wet pussy. That is it. Who knows. You might like her sexual companionship so much, that you might get to a point where you won’t want to fuck any 27

other woman anymore. She might become your next exclusive girlfriend or even your future wife.

But right now?

Just

concentrate on letting her know you want to fuck her in the most highly self-assured, upfront, specific, and straightforward manner as possible. Again, be sexually safe and responsible. Condoms are a good thing. Don't physically or emotionally abuse women. Just be honest, straightforward and real.

Don't mislead or manipulate

them, or try to get them drunk or put ecstasy "date rape" pills in their food or drink. Have the balls to express your desires like a REAL MAN. Don’t sexually harass co-workers, colleagues, or clients. Keep your interactions on the social tip. Good luck my friend. Alan Comments? Feedback? Compliments? Criticisms/Disagreements?

[email protected]

© Copyright 2007, Alan Roger Currie All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the author.

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UPFRONT and

STRAIGHTFORWARD

Let the Manipulative Game Players Know What You’’re REALLY Thinking

Alan Roger Currie Mode One Multimedia, Inc. USA

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Copyright © 2009 Alan Roger Currie 10-Digit ISBN X-XXXXX-XXX-X 13-Digit ISBN XXX-X-XXXXX-XXX-X All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the author.

Printed in the United States of America. Mode One Enterprises, Inc. 2009 Other books by Alan Roger Currie: Mode One: Let the Women Know What You’’re REALLY Thinking http://www.modeone.net

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Let the Manipulative Game Players Know What You’’re REALLY Thinking

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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS May God Bless the Spirit of my late father, Clarence R. Currie, and my late my mother, Mildred R. Currie; Much love always to my brother and ace confidante, Stephen C. Currie; Cousins Atha Baugh, Christopher Currie and Jason P. Jones; my close friends Timothy Beverly, DeMarrio Gray, Jeff Kenton, Cory Pulliman, Ervin V. Pulliam III and Maurice L. Taylor. Others kudos go to Angela and Richard Hoy, Adrienne Yates, Keith Olivetti, Michael Bennett, Anthrice Bray, Kimberly J. Brown, Wendy English, Chi Blackburn, Armand Carr, Gordon Chube, Jeri Goosby-Smith, Greg Hines, Kimberly Jones-Snipe, Wendy Kinkead, John Leslie, Carleton Lewis, Walt ““Baby”” Love, Demetria Lucas, Garrard McClendon, Angelique Perrin, Philip R. Pulliam, Toni Reed, John Soo Hoo, Anthony Spinelli, Greg Tufaro, Anthony Walker, Wilton Waverly, Steve ““The Dean”” Williams, Felix Willis, Andrea Wilson, and Nikki Woods. Much thanks to many of the fellow authors, attraction and seduction experts, dating coaches, relationships advisors, and other professional colleagues who I truly admire and have had the opportunity to interact with, interview, and exchange ideas with. I’’m not going to list specific names, but you know who you are. Special kudos to the fellas at Direct-Method.com To all of the women who I have dated, been intimate with, engaged in confidential and/or provocative conversations with, and even those who we experienced some degree of animosity and/or contentious interactions . . . I’’ve learned a lot about myself as a result of knowing you, and I have gained a lot of knowledge and wisdom about the opposite gender. Thank you.

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CONTENTS Mode One –– Feedback and Fallout ................................................1 Traditional Dating VS 21st Century Dating...................................7 Manipulative Head Games ..........................................................26 Mode One and Manipulative Game Players.................................50 Reciprocators ..............................................................................55 Rejecters .....................................................................................60 Pretenders ...................................................................................69 Timewasters................................................................................94 Are You REALLY Tired of Manipulative Head Games?...........111 Frequently Asked Questions......................................................117 One Game You CAN Play with Members of the Opposite Sex..128 Upfront and Straightforward .....................................................133 Appendix ..................................................................................138

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Chapter ONE

Mode One –– Feedback and Fallout Who would have thought that when I wrote down The Four Modes of Verbal Communication™™ on a napkin back in October 1990 that the whole ““Mode One”” phenomenon would have become an international sensation.

Since the paperback version was published in late

February of 2006, I have received requests to have Mode One: Let the Women Know What You’’re REALLY Thinking translated into Chinese, French, German, Japanese, Portuguese, and Spanish. Because of the popularity of both the Ebook and paperback versions of Mode One, I now receive Email messages and requests for personal consultations from men and women who not only reside in cities throughout the United States, but who live in a number of different countries all over the globe. The primary demographic group I targeted with Mode One were single, heterosexual men who were a) afraid to approach women in general; b) confident enough to approach women, but had the

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tendency to engage in too much trivial, inconsequential ““small talk””; c) frequently making the mistake of confusing women who are erotically uninhibited and/or promiscuous with women who were prudish and very monogamous-minded; and finally d) suffering from a high degree of misogynistic bitterness towards the female gender as a whole as the result of years of perceiving women as being unfair to them and/or disrespectful to them. When I first had Mode One published, it was my prediction that approximately 99% of the men who read it would give it an enthusiastic ““thumbs up,”” and maybe 40-50% of the women who read it would feel the same way. Well, to my surprise, probably 80-90% of the women who have read my book enjoyed it as much as the men. Women read my book for primarily two reasons: 1) To simply better understand how the minds of men work, and what are the desires and motivations for approaching women in the first place; 2) To see what type of manipulative head games men employ with women. Without question, the #1 challenge and criticism to my book from both men and women was the assertion that, ““you can’’t just walk up to a woman and let her know you [only] want to have [casual] sex with her. That is rude, disrespectful, shallow, socially inappropriate, and just plain tacky.””

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I can think of a few more minor, nitpicky criticisms of Mode One, but generally, the vast majority of the criticisms I received were primarily directly or indirectly related to the idea that Mode One Behavior was representative of behavior that is perceived as ““too forward,”” ““too blunt”” and/or ““too sexually straightforward and provocative.”” At the risk of being perceived as cocky, I will let it be known that I broke down a lot of women who attempted to challenge me about my Mode One principles and philosophies. I’’m speaking of women with Masters degrees, PhDs, J.D.s, and any other highly educated degree you can think of. I didn’’t break them down with any complicated, profound intelligence, but rather simple logic and basic questions. My main argument was, and still is, why would ANY WOMAN want a man to lie to her …… or ‘‘trick’’ her …… into having [casual] sex with him? Wouldn’’t any woman want to be given the choice of whether or not to reciprocate a man’’s desire and interest in casual sex? I had some factions suggest that my book was ““not Christian-like.”” Is not being straightforwardly honest about your true desires, interests and intentions a part of being a devout Christian? And besides …… who said Mode One was exclusively for Christians? I want those who are atheists and agnostic to read my book too.

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Here is/was the biggest ““misconception”” about Mode One: Mode One is a book that promotes the idea of casual sex as a higher priority than being involved in a long-term, monogamous romantic relationship.

This is where a lot of women (and a few men)

misinterpreted my book. Mode One basically says to men, if you know for a 100% fact that your interest is exclusively casual sex, why not just be upfront and straightforward about it? Then, a startling revelation kept being pounded into my mind. Believe it or not, there are many women who want men to be misleading and deceitful about their desire for one-night stands, weekend flings, and other variations of non-monogamous casual sex. ““What?!? That can’’t be!”” you say. ““That makes no sense. What woman in her right mind would WANT a man to pretend like he wants a long-term relationship, when in reality, he only wants casual sex?? That woman would have to be stupid or crazy!!”” She is neither. Instead, she is cunning, calculating and manipulative. I will discuss the manipulative tactics employed by many women in more detail in Chapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Seven and Chapter Eight. If you are a man or woman who absolutely despises manipulative head games, then you are a fan and supporter of Mode One Behavior;

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If you are a man or woman who feels like you generally tend to benefit from lying to the opposite sex, misleading the opposite sex, and/or engaging in head games with the opposite sex, then nine times out of ten, you’’re going to be a [harsh] critic of the principles and philosophies outlined in my previous Mode One book. If you are a man or woman who likes to fancy yourself a member of the former group, but deep-down, you are really in the latter group, you might as well sell this copy of your book on eBay. This book is not for you. This book is for people who have no desire to repeatedly engage in manipulative game-playing. If you are truly in this group, please . . . continue to read on. As I did in my previous book, Mode One: Let the Women Know What You’’re REALLY Thinking, at the end of each chapter I always tend to ask a handful of interesting questions to get you to be totally truthful with yourself regarding your true desires, motivations, interests, and intentions as it relates to dating and relationships. Questions: 1) Do you own an Ebook copy or paperback copy of Mode One: Let the Women Know What You’’re REALLY Thinking? How would you evaluate the effectiveness of your own

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interpersonal communication as it relates to conversing with members of the opposite sex? 2) Do you sometimes prefer ““pleasant lies”” over raw, real truth? Quick Note: After Mode One: Let the Women Know What You’’re REALLY Thinking was published, many readers suggested that I repeated many of my themes, principles, and philosophies almost ad nauseam. Trust me folks: that was INTENTIONAL. What I’’ve noticed from many men and women who read Mode One is that some people read what they want to read. They don’’t read what you’’ve actually written, but rather, what they THINK you have written. Some people just browse through a number of pages in the various chapters looking for the most significant hints, tips, tidbits and the most helpful pieces of advice instead of reading the book thoroughly. Consequently, much of the content of my book ends up getting misinterpreted and/or taken out of context. Therefore, in my discussions about manipulative head games, you are going to find me reiterating many points over and over and over again. This is my writing style (along with sometimes unwarranted bold text, CAPITALIZED text, italicized text, ““quoted”” text, and underlined text). Get used to it. My writing style is what it is.

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Chapter TWO

Traditional Dating VS 21st Century Dating What exactly is dating? Many men and women use the term ““dating”” very loosely, and even to a certain extent, inappropriately.

For

example, many men and women believe that if a man and a woman are involved in a monogamous romantic relationship, this means that they are ““dating.”” Actually, this is somewhat of a misnomer. Dating is to being in a relationship what shopping for clothes is to actually purchasing clothes.

Based on what I would refer to as

““traditional”” or ““old school”” philosophies towards what the term ‘‘dating’’ means, I will go with this definition: To say that a person is dating means that this man or woman is in regular communication with a single, unattached member of the opposite sex, and this person is hanging out socially with a number of different members of the opposite sex to determine who is the most compatible candidate to be involved in a steady, exclusively committed relationship (Gay men and Lesbian women not included in this discussion).

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For example, if over the last 12-16 months, I’’ve only been in communication with one woman …… and I’’ve spent all of my free time with one woman …… then I am not really ““dating”” that woman. I’’m essentially in a relationship with her, even if we have never referred to each other as ““boyfriend”” and ““girlfriend.”” When you are truly dating, you are going out with a wide variety of men or women to identify similar interests, tolerable differences and intolerable differences. Using the shopping analogy again, it would be like me trying on eight or nine different double-breasted suits before I decide on the one double-breasted suit that I am going to purchase. Again, this was the basic concept of dating from those who are a part of my late mother and father’’s generation. This is why most men and women from my parents’’ generation frowned on the idea of premarital sex and/or casual sex. Because once you start having sex with someone, you might as well be in a [steady] relationship with them. You see, no one would frown on a man going out with a new and different woman every other night over a two or three month period if he were not engaged in sexual activity with those women. Many who possess the ““old school”” mindset would simply say, ““Oh, he’’s just dating.”” In the 1930s, 40s, and 50s, that’’s generally what it meant when you said someone was ““dating.””

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There is a popular show on syndicated television entitled elimiDate. You have one guy, who starts out the night with four women, and by the end of the episode, he ends up with one woman (or sometimes, it’’s flipped where you will have one woman at the beginning of the episode with four men). elimiDate is a great example of how the old school concept of dating worked. A man would start off with say, six women …… then he would socialize with those six women until he began to narrow that number down to five women, then four, then three, then two. . . and then finally, he decided on the one ““special woman”” who he wanted to go steady with. Sound simple and structured enough? Cool. Side Note: When I resided in Los Angeles, I was involved with a very popular ““megachurch”” that would encourage dating in the ““old school”” manner; the leaders of the church would encourage the men to go out on a date every week with a different sister in the church. Then, the brothers in the church would select maybe five to ten sisters to go out on a second date with; from there, a slightly lesser number of sisters to go out on a third and fourth date with, until ultimately, the brother in the church selected the one sister who he wanted to be his steady girlfriend. Given that no sexual activity was allowed, that concept actually worked, and worked very well.

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For the most part, dating in that manner has virtually disappeared in contemporary society.

Today, I believe dating is far more

complicated, confusing, challenging and frustrating for many single men and women attempting to find ““the one”” (i.e., their romantic ““soulmate””). Welcome to 21st Century dating. As I alluded to already, what made the ““old school”” manner of dating work were the low occurrences of premarital sex and/or casual sex. Once men and women started having sex before marriage, and even more so, sex outside the context of a steady, exclusively committed relationship, the entire dynamic of dating was changed forever. I believe this change first started taking place during the era of the ““Sexual Revolution”” and ““Free Love”” phenomenon in the 1960s and 70s. During this two-decade period, there was a significant change from ““old school dating”” to ““new school dating.”” Once women got comfortable with birth control pills and other birth control methods, and men got increasingly comfortable with condoms, the instances of premarital sex and casual sex exploded. The end result of that transition from one form of conservative dating rituals to a more open and free-spirited form of dating is that engaging in sexual activity is no longer exclusively associated with the idea of getting married like it was in my parents’’ generation.

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We now live in an age where even pre-teens in middle school are having orgies and blowjob parties on their lunch hour, or afterschool (no joke; this has been highlighted in magazine articles and on morning television talk shows).

There are men today who are

teenagers or in their 20s who don’’t even believe in the idea of a monogamous relationship. They can’’t even relate to that concept. Many young men today believe in having a ““harem.”” Some of these young womanizers refer to the women in their lives as ““their stable of hos (whores).”” STDs are being passed around like crazy these days. Bi-sexual men are passing on the HIV virus to their girlfriends and wives. The term ““men on the down low”” is a common phrase. Make no mistake . . . it’’s not just the men in society today who are promiscuous and out of control. Women today are far more erotically uninhibited and promiscuous than women in the first half of the Twentieth Century. Women want to enjoy the lustful pleasures of multiple sex partners just as much, if not more, than most men do. This directly relates to why there are so many manipulative head games being employed between men and women these days.

I

believe manipulative game-playing is more rampant than ever before. One of the main reasons why you have so many manipulative head games being employed in today’’s dating scene is because you have a

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lot of men and women who are ““Wholesome Pretenders.”” They walk around pretending as though they are ‘‘innocent,’’ ‘‘wholesome,’’ ‘‘virtuous,’’ and erotically conservative and only into monogamous relationships …… when in reality, they love kinky sex and promiscuous sex as much as any currently employed adult film star does. Think about it: Hypothetically, if all men and women in society were divided into two groups …… those men and women who only have an interest in a long-term, monogamous relationship …… and those men and women who are only enthused about engaging in casual, nonmonogamous sex …… finding a romantic companion and/or sexual lover would be a fairly easy and straightforward process. What makes dating and relationships far more complicated and frustrating than it really needs to be is the fact that you have men and women who are ‘‘pretending’’ to be interested in only monogamous relationships, when in reality, they really want to enjoy sexual pleasure with a variety of new and different partners. The second major contributor to the increase of manipulative gameplaying is that you have women who want to be offered ““incentives”” and ““rewards”” in exchange for their romantic and/or sexual companionship. I discussed this in Chapter Two of Mode One. You

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have men who are more-than-willing to offer these women their desired incentives and rewards. Let the head games commence. There are pretty much only six relationships a man and a woman (who are not blood related) can have with each other: 1) A long-term, monogamous sexual relationship (e.g., husband & wife) 2) A long-term, non-monogamous sexual relationship (e.g., ““friends with benefits”” or ““fuck buddies””) 3) A short-term, monogamous sexual relationship (e.g., your normal short lived ““boyfriend-girlfriend”” relationship that doesn’’t have a chance of leading to marriage) 4) A short-term, non-monogamous sexual relationship (e.g., a one-night stand, weekend fling, etc) 5) A long-term, non-sexual, platonic relationship (e.g., high school or college classmate, long-time co-worker, etc) 6) A short-term, non-sexual, platonic relationship (e.g., casual acquaintances, brief co-workers, brief neighbors, etc)

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If every man and woman who was interested in a relationship that falls into Category #1 were to express their interests upfront and straightforwardly, there would be no manipulative head games needed. Same with Categories #2 thru #6. The reality is some people who want a relationship in Category #2 will pretend as though they are searching for a relationship in Category #1; Some people who want a relationship in Category #4 will pretend to want a relationship in Category #3 or #6. And so on, and so on. This is the primary basis behind head games. Head games begin when you want a member of the opposite sex to believe that you have one set of desires, interests and intentions when in actuality your romantic and/or sexual desires and interests are totally different. For men, Mode One Behavior is the most effective means of identifying when a woman is not being totally genuine about her desires, interests and intentions.

For women, being upfront and

straightforward with their romantic and/or sexual desires and interests is beneficial as well, but there is usually more required on their part. My early advice to women: Do not engage in premarital sex and/or casual sex if you do not have the emotional fortitude to deal with the potential consequences or repercussions. I have had conversations with too many women who think [single] men should operate with a

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““code of ethics”” when it comes to casual sex. Casual sex is casual sex. There are no established rules or obligations to exhibit integrity. That is the difference between a married relationship and an unmarried relationship.

A married relationship is based on pre-

determined spiritual and legal rules, guidelines, boundaries, and values. When you engage in sexual relations with someone who is not your husband or wife, you are entering into that relationship based on your own desires and expectations for how you want that relationship to work out. Sort of like jumping into a swimming pool with that ““Swim at Your Own Risk”” sign and no lifeguard nearby. I’’ve had friends and acquaintances view writing a book about dating and relationships as ““trivial.”” Dating is an important part of our life. Let’’s be real folks: The first thing that determines the quality of your upbringing as a child is the relationship between your mother and father. You are alive right now because of love, lust or sexual abuse. If you were born as a product of a loving, caring relationship between your mother and father, feel BLESSED. Nine times out of ten, you received a lot of love from both of your parents, and your upbringing was probably not filled with too much ““drama”” or animosity between your mother and father.

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On the other hand, if your mother and father had a contentious relationship . . . before, during or after you were born . . . whether you want to acknowledge it or not, this inevitably had to have an adverse affect on your upbringing. If you were brought up by a mother who harbors bitterness and resentment towards the men who she feels ““dogged her out”” or physically and/or emotionally abused her, there is a good chance that you’’re going to grow up around negative attitudes being espoused towards men. If you were brought up by a father who had a gold digger or highly promiscuous whore-type as a girlfriend or temporary wife, then you’’re going to view women quite differently than most of your friends who come from an emotionally stable, two-parent household. Make no mistake: Romantic and sexual relationships contribute to the quality of our life just as much as clean air, money, good health and quality friends do. Discussing and analyzing people’’s dating habits and rituals is by no means ““trivial.”” I really don’’t consider myself a ““dating expert”” or a ““relationship expert.”” When I’’ve been interviewed on radio and/or television, I’’m

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often referred to as a ““relationship expert,”” but in reality, that is not a valid title. It is very flattering …… but again, it is not altogether valid. I’’m simply a man who has a keen sense of observation of other human

beings’’

habits,

behavioral

nuances,

interpersonal

communication tendencies, and body language signals. At the time I write this book, there is a very popular television show on the CBS network entitled, The Mentalist. A ““mentalist”” is not really a psychic, but rather he or she is a person who studies people’’s habits, nuances, tendencies and body language signs to the point where he or she can predict what the person who they are observing is going to do next and/or what the person who is being observed has already done. To lightheartedly brag on myself, I’’ve had many friends of mine over the years suggest that I possess a talent of perception and observation that would informally qualify me as a dating and relationships ““mentalist.”” I choose real world observation over academic research when it comes to drawing conclusions about dating. I can name many instances where I have predicted a couple was going to break up or get divorced weeks, months or even years before the couple involved even had a clue that something was wrong in their relationship. I constantly study the nuances of the opposite gender as

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well as the nuances of my own gender with a particular emphasis on their interpersonal communication habits. I watch this very, very closely. I study how men and women communicate their desires and interests to one another. I have a natural knack for identifying phony, disingenuous, manipulative type men and women from real, honest, nonmanipulative type men and women within a brief time period of interaction and observation. In more layman’’s terms, I know who’’s full of shit . . . and who’’s not. Usually, within the first five-to-ten minutes of a conversation with a person, I can quickly assess if a person a) is prudish or kinky; b) is materialistic or non-materialistic; c) hangs around people with high moral character and integrity or low character and integrity; d) frequently lies to people or tells others the truth; and e) gets what they want by straightforwardly asking for it, or do they try to ‘‘sneak through the back door’’ to get what they want. So it is this characteristic of mine …… or ‘‘talent’’ of mine …… that makes me SEEM to others who meet me that I am some sort of ““relationship expert,”” but the reality is, I am just really, really good and sizing up various behavioral attributes in people in a short period of time.

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Side note: If you watch one of the episodes from the first season of Californication starring former X-Files standout David Duchovny, his character (Hank Moody) once did this while at dinner with friends. Hank met this woman (who his friends were trying to set him up with), and then after only about five or ten minutes of conversation, he told her what type of woman she was, what type of men she had dated, and what her most recent dating experiences had been like. The woman’’s face became so serious, and later tense, that you could just surmise the vast majority of his perceptions were on point. She became so frustrated that she just got up and walked out. I don’’t usually do what Hank Moody did with women I meet in the first conversation, but I’’ve done that many times in the second, third or fourth conversation. I’’ve actually had many women say, ““Wow. Alan, that was impressive.

I almost feel like you have my past

[dating] life on video somewhere. I can’’t believe so many of your assessments about me were so valid and on-point!”” I am particularly perceptive with women who are ““undercover freaks”” (i.e., Urban term for ““Wholesome Pretenders”” which I explained and described in Mode One; Women who publicly try to give you the impression that they are ““innocent”” and ““wholesome,”” but are really very free-spirited sexually and erotically uninhibited, and to one degree or another, promiscuous).

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A lot of men and women have this naïve notion that all men behave in the same manner towards all women and vice versa, and this is such a wrong conclusion. I have observed a woman behave like a churchgoing, monogamous-minded, semi-prudish ““good girl”” with one group of men, and then turn around and behave like the most openminded, free-spirited, semi-promiscuous ““kinky freak”” type with a different group of men. Studying sexual duplicity is a specialty of mine. I am fascinated by how duplicitous and/or hypocritical many men and women are in regard to their own sexuality. When I meet women who are involved in a relationship, I can usually tell within ten-to-fifteen minutes (or less) after being in her presence if that woman is cheating on her boyfriend, fiancé, or husband even before her male companion has any inkling or clue of it. The very first thing I study with women is their eyes. This is why my own eyes are on the cover of both of my books. The eyes tell me more about a woman more than anything they say. You can tell so much just by studying a man or woman’’s eyes. I can usually tell a woman’’s degree of kinkiness and overall sensuality by the manner in which she uses her eyes. I know there are some skeptics who will say, ““I don’’t believe you can tell all of that about a person just by their eyes.”” Well, believe what

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you want to believe. The reality is sexually inexperienced women and/or very prudish women use their eyes far differently than women who are sexually experienced, erotically uninhibited, and/or promiscuous. I can meet a woman, look into her eyes for a good two or three minutes, and more often than not, I can tell if that woman is a virgin, a conservative prude, or a kinky freak. The second physical characteristic I examine is a woman’’s voice. Women who are very kinky and promiscuous converse with men in a different manner than women who are generally conservative and prudish towards sex. Their vocal intonations are totally different. Trust me on this: If you are a man, and you are as perceptive as me, you can learn a lot about a woman by the combination of her eyes and her voice. Most men pay attention to characteristics such as the type of clothes a woman adorns herself with. Clothes can be misleading. A woman can be semi-prudish and be wearing a short, tight skirt. A woman can be a kinky freak and be wearing conservative clothing. I don’’t study men as much as women, but I would assume for very perceptive women, the same is probably true for men as well.

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I said all of that to say this: If you ever meet me in person, and you think for a micro-second that you’’re going to ‘‘dupe’’ me, you’’re sadly mistaken. I may sometimes act like I’’m somewhat naïve and slow, but on the real, I’’m as sharp as a tack. That’’s not braggin, that’’s just keepin it real. If you are a woman or man who is generally full of shit, I will know this in the first five-to-ten minutes of our interaction, if not less. This is what gives me the credibility to write this book.

Make no mistake, no man …… including Yours Truly …… will ever understand all of the complexities of women’’s behavior, just like no one woman will ever understand the various aspects of men’’s behavior that many women find puzzling or frustrating. I don’’t think figuring out all of the aspects of the opposite sex will ever be easy, and therefore, having successful and satisfying dating relationships will always be challenging to one degree or the other, but what I attempt to help men and women out with in the contents of this book is specifically related to the category of manipulative head games. I want to help men and women quickly identify manipulation. If you cannot identify and prevent manipulative head games entirely after reading this book, at minimum, you will have a better sense of when head games are being employed with you at any given point in time, and how you can diminish the frustrating effects of them.

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The fact that many men and women find dating so complicated and frustrating is exactly why the dating and relationships genre of authors, experts and gurus has exploded. Beginning with the mid-tolate 90s, and then even more so after the release of the box-office hit movie Hitch (starring Will Smith and Eva Mendes), you can now find Dating Coaches, Relationship Advisors, Seduction Gurus and every other variation of those three all over world in numbers. One problem I have with many of these so-called ““Seduction Community”” gurus and pick-up artist mentors and advisors is that they not only fail to teach men how to recognize manipulative head games, but even worse, they teach men how to employ manipulative head games with women. I am not down with that at all. Recently, the Attraction and Seduction Community has split off into two major factions and/or guiding philosophies: •• The Pickup Artists / Those who espouse ““indirect”” methods of approaching, attracting and seducing women; If you read Neil Strauss’’ best-selling book, The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists, then you know what I’’m referring to. These guys are all about pre-planned ““pickup lines,”” scripts, routines, methods, and psychological and/or hypnotic techniques designed to attract

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and seduce women •• The Natural Conversationalists / Those who espouse being ““direct”” and straightforward with women regarding their romantic and/or sexual desires, interests, and intentions. I would put myself in this category, along with gurus such as David X. Authors and experts in this category don’’t believe in any sort of manipulative tactics or head games. There is nothing dumber than trying to have sex with women by pretending like you are not trying to have sex with them. The sad reality is that this is what many men in society do. The second problem I have with the ““indirect”” gurus is that they cause men to become afraid of rejection and harsh criticism. I don’’t perceive either of those reactions as ““negative”” or representative of ““failure.”” I think rejection is inevitable and that negative reactions are to be expected by manipulative women. These ““indirect”” guys contribute to the head games being played instead of making efforts to help men identify them, prevent them and diminish the use of them.

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Questions: 1) How did the relationship between your mother and father affect your upbringing?

Were your mother and father

married, or involved in a monogamous relationship, at the time you were conceived? 2) Beginning with approximately the age of twelve or thirteen up until now, what were your general attitudes …… both positive and negative …… towards the opposite sex? Did you grow up thinking all men were lying womanizers? Did you grow up thinking that all women were manipulative, promiscuous whores?

3) What is your attitude regarding sex before marriage? Do you believe sex is something that should only be experienced between two people in a monogamous relationship? Or do you think you should be able to exchange orgasms with whomever you find sexually appealing?

4) When you converse with people, do you look them directly in their eyes? Or do you tend to look up at the ceiling, to the

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right or to the left, or down at the floor? Do you study men and women’’s body language and behavioral tendencies? Chapter THREE

Manipulative Head Games There is an adage that suggests that ““You can’’t bullshit a bullshitter.”” I hate to tell you this, but that adage in itself is BULLSHIT. Actually, the EASIEST person to mislead and manipulate is someone who is trying their best to mislead and manipulate you. Why is that? Because if I am attempting to mislead and manipulate you, I am too busy concentrating on my own manipulative tactics to really bother myself with identifying what manipulative tactics you have in play.

The only time a manipulator will be able to quickly

indentify if you’’re also trying to manipulate them is if your manipulation skills are very basic, very obvious/not subtle, and generally weak and ineffective. If you put two highly skilled manipulators into play with each other …… let’’s say one male and one female …… they won’’t be able to quickly identify the other person’’s manipulative tactics. Again, because they will be too busy concentrating on their own manipulative tactics.

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The

adage

should

STRAIGHTSHOOTER.””

read,

““You

can’’t

bullshit

a

In my opinion, that is a more valid

statement. It is very hard to mislead, manipulate, or generally bullshit someone who is very upfront, specific, and straightforward with their desires, interests, and intentions. Don’’t’’ believe me? Let’’s use purchasing a car as an example: On one end, we have ““Henry.”” Henry is a highly manipulative used car salesman. On the other end, we have ““Lisa”” who is a highly manipulative car buyer. What is Henry’’s objective? To sell a car that is for all practical purposes worth about $3,500.00 to Lisa for about $6,000.00 What is Lisa’’s objective? To buy a car that has a selling price of $6,000.00 for no more than $4,000.00 What is Henry’’s first move? Why of course, to play up how great that $6,000.00 automobile is. What is Lisa’’s first move? To attempt to identify any obvious flaws and/or repairs that same $6,000.00 automobile is in need of.

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From this point, it becomes a game of chess. Who knows more about negotiation …… Henry or Lisa? Who knows more about the true market value of a used automobile …… Henry or Lisa? Is Henry willing to sacrifice a high commission? Is Lisa willing to stretch her budget and pay more? Let the games begin. Now, let’’s convert Lisa into a person who is upfront, straightforward, knows her monetary limits, and thoroughly knows the market value of used cars. She approaches Henry and says, ““That car …… I want that car for $3,750.00 …… no ifs, ands or buts.”” Henry says, ““Are you crazy? That car is worth $6,500.00!! No less than $6,000.00!!!”” Lisa says, ““I’’m paying no more than $3,750.00”” Henry says, ““Okay, okay. I’’ll lower it down to $5,500.00 …… how’’s that?”” Lisa maintains. ““$3,750.00”” Henry doesn’’t budge. Lisa begins to walk towards her current car …… then suddenly, Henry stops her. ““Okay, okay. $4,000.00 That is my final offer. Lisa smirks, and says, ““Okay. You have a deal.”” Who won that battle? Lisa. Why? Because she was firm. She came to this used car lot knowing that she wasn’’t going to pay more than $4,000.00 for the automobile that Henry was trying to sell for

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$6,000.00. Henry could not manipulate Lisa because she was firm and specific about what she wanted. Not feelin’’ that analogy? Let’’s use a more dating-related one then. Henry asks Lisa out on a date. Henry really just wants a few days or a few weeks of casual sex, but he feels as though if he makes that known upfront, his desires, interests and intentions won’’t be enthusiastically reciprocated, so he decides to play the game of ““I’’m just a well-mannered gentleman looking to get to know you.”” Lisa has no real romantic and/or sexual attraction to Henry, but she is never one to turn down a free lunch, a free dinner, a free movie, or a free concert. So she too decides to play the game of ““I’’m going to make your dumb ass THINK you might get some pussy from me in the near future, but in reality, you’’ll never get between my legs.”” Who will win this manipulative battle? Depends. If Henry is really, really horny and desperate for sexual companionship, Lisa wins this battle EASY. Sure, as a guy, you know a lot of ““Lisa”” types. And surely, if you are a woman, you know a lot of ““Henry”” types. The only way Henry is winning this battle is if he takes Lisa out …… manages to get her sloppy drunk …… and takes advantage of her …… or

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…… Henry is so loaded with cash and a willingness to offer financial favors, that Lisa looks at giving Henry some pussy as more or less an ““investment”” in a long-term relationship of exploiting his horny ass. Surely, you have observed this scenario play out a hundred or more times, right? If you said, ““No …… this is new to me,”” then you are either young, naïve, or you’’ve lived a sheltered life. As I mentioned in Chapter Two, the two factors that have most changed dating rituals between men and women over the last forty, fifty or sixty-plus years are these: •• The increase in men and women engaging in sexual relations before marriage and/or outside the context of an exclusively committed relationship; •• The strong desire of women to use the appeal of their romantic and/or sexual companionship as a means of motivating men to spend money on them and offer them other forms of financial, non-financial, tangible and intangible ““favors””; The first factor has led to manipulative head games because now you have a lot of women who will enthusiastically engage in non-

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monogamous sex, but they want to give men the misleading impression that they are only into monogamous sex. The second factor has led to manipulative head games because now you have many women who will ““pretend”” to be interested in dating a man or ““pretend”” to be interested in having [casual] sex with him, when in reality, they just want to be offered something of value before they tell those men that they really are not interested. I mentioned in Chapter One that the primary criticism I have received regarding the use of Mode One Behavior is that many women (and even a few men) feel like it is ““socially inappropriate”” to tell a woman you have just made the acquaintance of that all you want to do is exchange orgasms with her non-monogamously for a few days, a few weeks, and/or a few months. So …… let me get this straight: If I meet a woman who I know ahead of time that I have no interest in having a long-term, romantic, monogamous relationship with . . . but I do have an interest in having short-term, non-monogamous casual sex with . . . I should simply pretend to be a well-mannered ‘‘gentleman,’’ tell this woman ‘‘pleasant lies,’’ and then once I exchange orgasms with her a few times, find a way to ignore her and dump her without really hurting her feelings? Or should men avoid engaging in casual sex altogether?

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Men are always going to have a desire for premarital and/or casual sex. Always. My attitude is, knowing that men desire casual sex . . . you might as well encourage them to be straightforwardly honest about it. Then a woman can make an adult decision whether or not to reciprocate that man’’s desires and interests, or decline the invitation. This is the problem with society: There are too many women (and even men too) who want to listen to pleasant lies rather than raw, real truth. And men and women wonder why so many members of the opposite sex engage in manipulative head games with one another. Men and women are always going to tell you pleasant lies if they feel there are undesirable consequences attached to telling the truth. The end result is the brash, bold truth-tellers are being branded as the ‘‘bad guys’’ in the dating and relationships arena while the smoothtalking liars and skilled manipulators are being perceived as ‘‘wellmannered,’’ ‘‘respectful,’’ and tactful. Yeah . . . RIGHT. There is no in-between. Either you want lies . . . or you want truth from people. It’’s really that simple. ““Is lying the same thing as manipulation?”” In some respects …… yes …… and in other respects, no. Lies are a tool used to manipulate people, but I wouldn’’t say lying and manipulation are directly synonymous.

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If I ask someone, ““Are you a doctor?,”” and they respond ““Yes, I am a doctor,”” but then later on, I find out that this person never attended medical school at all, then this would represent a blatant liar. A manipulator would be someone who, if asked that same question, would say, ““I know health care like the back of my hand,”” which gives you the misleading impression that he/she is saying, ““Yes, I am a Doctor,”” but when you investigate, you find out that this person is a Pharmaceuticals salesperson. This person didn’’t flat-out lie to you, but they did not accurately tell you the truth either. This is what manipulators do. Most manipulators don’’t really just flat-out lie to you. Instead, they simply mislead you into believing that they are headed in one direction, when they are actually headed in another direction. Have you ever heard of a game used by most street con artists known as ““the shell game?”” I got taken once on the Chicago L(oop) train back when I was in my early twenties. The shell game involves a man or woman placing a small round ball underneath three walnut shells (or bottle caps or something similar). Then the person asks the audience who wants to bed money on where the ball is.

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The trick: The person doing the shuffling gives you the misleading impression that they are the only ones involved with this game. In reality, they have about five or six people working with them. One of the persons working with this person will pretend like he is just a regular audience member, and the person executing the shell game will pretend as though he/she doesn’’t initially know what they’’re doing. This is how they had me duped. The guy was messing up big time, and two people took his money. I, being greedy for money, thought to myself, ““This guy is trying to con people, but he doesn’’t know what he’’s doing! I will take his money!”” Without getting into a long story, I lost $20.00 I was PISSED OFF. Two other people lost as much as $150.00 - $300.00 These con artists didn’’t exactly ““lie”” to their audience members, but they definitely mislead them. Many men make the same mistake with women that I did with these con artists. They make the mistake of thinking that their manipulative tactics will cause them to ‘‘get over’’ on women, when in reality, the women are ‘‘getting over’’ on the men. I see this scenario happen all of the time. Side Note: Watch the movie Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, and Glenne Headly’’s character of ““Janet Colgate”” in particular. Janet plays the

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two male con artists by making them believe they are playing her. This is why I say the adage ““You can’’t bullshit a bullshitter”” is invalid. Janet was a master manipulator who conned two master manipulators. Here are some of the primary motivations behind men and women engaging in manipulative head games with one another. Men pretty much only manipulate women for sex.

More specifically, non-

monogamous sex. Women manipulate men for money, employment opportunities, flattering attention, entertaining companionship, etc. Why single women will attempt to manipulate men: Motivation #1: Monetary and financial favors. Some women will straightforwardly tell you that they want to get paid for their romantic and/or sexual companionship. These are the nonmanipulative gold diggers. Street prostitutes, call girls, erotic escorts and other ““ladies of the night”” fall into this category. These women are woman enough to say, ““if you want to get between my legs, you will have to pay for the opportunity to do so.””

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Realistically, there are some women who do not want to present themselves as a street whore, a call girl, and/or an erotic escort. So, the next best thing for them to do is to engage a man in manipulative head games. In other words, women in the latter group want to get money out of you by pretending that this is not what they’’re trying to do. (Note:

Have you ever noticed that when it comes to describing

manipulators, the key word seems to be ““pretending?”” That’’s what manipulators do.

They PRETEND to have one set of desires,

interests, and intentions when in actuality they have a totally different set of desires, interests and intentions) Women in the latter group want the perks of selling their sexual companionship without the questionable reputation that comes along with it. In my previous book, Mode One, I referred to these women as ““Erotic Hypocrites.”” Motivation #2: To Live a Sexually Duplicitous Lifestyle Some women will tell you straightforwardly that they enjoy casual, non-monogamous sex from time to time with two or more sex partners. I respect these women’’s honesty. Same with women who

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straightforwardly tell you that they enjoy very adventurous, erotically uninhibited, kinky sex (for example, occasional threesomes, sex in public, etc). They are woman enough to say, ““I’’m going to enjoy my sex life in the manner that I choose to.”” Bravo. No haterade from me. Realistically though, there are some women who feel as though if they were to straightforwardly admit their love for kinky sex and/or non-monogamous sex with multiple partners, they will lose their ““good girl”” image and reputation, and consequently, have a tougher time finding a steady boyfriend or a man willing to marry them. So, the alternative plan is to live a sexually duplicitous lifestyle which involves misleading men into believing that the woman is an innocent, wholesome, sexually conservative ““good girl”” and hide their true sexuality from the ‘‘marrying types.’’ In my previous book, Mode One, I referred to these women as ““Wholesome Pretenders.”” Motivation #3: To maintain a stable of men in a woman’’s social circle who will listen to the woman vent and keep her entertained when she is bored and/or lonely

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Some women will tell you straightforwardly that they have no interest in dating you and that they have no interest in having [casual] sex with you. They will tell you upfront that the best you can hope for from them is a non-physical, non-sexual platonic friendship with them. The vast majority of men will either choose to leave these women alone completely, or they will indefinitely suppress their romantic and/or sexual desires in order to maintain the friendship. Realistically though, there are some women who feel like most men will not be motivated to invest the one-on-one time that they require unless they mislead these men into believing that there is at least a small percentage chance that their so-called ““platonic”” male friends will have the opportunity to have monogamous or non-monogamous sex with them at some point in the future. So the other alternative is to engage in a disingenuous ““play brother / play sister”” relationship which has very subtle romantic and/or sexual undertones to it. The man involved says to himself, ““I don’’t mind being her ‘‘play brother’’ for now …… because I know in a matter of weeks or months, she’’s going to ultimately let me exchange orgasms wit her.””

Women in this category are generally referred to as

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““Attention Whores,”” ““Dick Teasers,”” or simply ‘‘Users’’ and/or ‘‘Exploiters.’’ As I mentioned in Chapter Two, I have a ““sixth sense”” for quickly identifying Manipulative Game-Player types. The only guys who would get taken advantage of by a Wholesome Pretender would be a guy who mistakenly believes he’’s dating a woman who is monogamous-minded, when in actuality, she’’s being sexed up by three or four different guys. I have probably taken advantage of Wholesome Pretenders far, far more than vice versa. I had a woman at one of my book signing events in 2007 admit to me that she fell into the third category of female manipulators (i.e., Attention Whores, Dick Teasers, etc). She said, ““Alan …… I’’m going to be honest. I never tell my male [platonic] friends straightforwardly that they will never, ever get the opportunity to date me or have sex with me. Never. If I did that, probably 90% of my male friends would stop calling me and stop hanging out with me socially. So, I would never be stupid enough to destroy their hopes.”” In other words, she was bluntly admitting to me that she loves to mislead and manipulate men. Of course, when I put it in those words, she was reluctant to categorize her behavior as ““manipulative.”” She chose to call it ““smart and advantageous behavior for a woman.”” She

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says tomayto, I say tomahto. Men, make no mistake: If you allow yourself to engage in those unproductive ““Play Brother / Play Sister”” type friendships with women, you are essentially inviting a woman to manipulate you. I had another woman say to me at a book signing event in California, ““Alan, I thought you knew …… ALL women …… to one degree or another …… are manipulative.

I don’’t know too many non-

manipulative women.”” And again, this came from a woman’’s mouth. Do women engage in more manipulative head games than men? Or in your experience, do men engage in more head games than women? I would say both genders are guilty. In my observation, women engage in more manipulative head games because of a higher number of different motivations than the average manipulative man.

I’’ve known women to use their ““feminine

charms”” and sex appeal to manipulate male police officers into not writing them a speeding ticket. Men are easy targets for manipulation by women because the average man is two-to-three times more horny for quick, casual nonmonogamous ““let’’s fuck right now”” type sex than the average woman

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is. Within the context of a long-term monogamous relationship, I find women to be just as horny, if not hornier for sex than most men are, but when you are talking meet someone at 8:00pm and wanting to exchange orgasms with them by 8:15pm, men are the horniest. Now for the women reading this book, let’’s highlight some motivations behind men’’s manipulative ways. Why single men will attempt to manipulate women: Motivation #1: To Get Women Who Don’’t Normally Engage in Short-Term Sex to Engage in Short-Term Sex Some men will tell women straightforwardly that they just want to engage in a brief, torrid love affair that will soon end with fond memories for both parties involved. I respect that. That is part of the essence of what Mode One Behavior is all about. These men are willing to put their ““well-mannered gentleman”” reputations on the line, and run the risk of being described as a ““heart breaker”” or ““ladies’’ man.”” They realize that these are nothing more than subjective labels anyhow.

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Realistically, there are a number of men in society who are ““wolves in sheep’’s clothing.””

They will give a woman the misleading

impression that they are only in the market for a long-term ““serious girlfriend,”” but in reality, they only want to engage in a few weeks or months of hot, kinky sex with the type of woman who most men would want as a steady girlfriend.

They will usually date each

woman for anywhere from six weeks to five or six months. Men in the latter group want to enjoy the sexual pleasures of a fullblown player or womanizer, but they don’’t want their true desires and intentions to be advertised on their foreheads. They feel they might ‘‘scare’’ some potential sex partners away, particularly those who are classy-looking and very attractive.

So they pretend to play the

““monogamous-minded gentleman”” role with women, but in reality, they are on the hunt for new and different short-term sex partners. The key thing with these guys is, these men don’’t want to have casual sex with women who regularly or normally have short-term sexual relationships. They want to have short-term monogamous sex with women who have a history of only engaging in long-term monogamous sexual relationships. These men are often referred to as ““Playboys”” (not to be confused with ‘‘players’’) and/or ““Serial Monogamists.””

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Motivation #2: To Live a Sexually Duplicitous Lifestyle There are some men who are true, straight-up ‘‘players.’’ They will have three or four different sex partners, and each of the man’’s sex partners know that they are having sex with other women. I totally respect that. You tell your group of sex partners what the program is, and they are either down with the program or not. Realistically, some men don’’t have the cojones to tell a woman candidly and straightforwardly that they want to have sex with her and a number of other women. These men are too afraid of having a woman reject the idea of sharing a man with other women sexually. Therefore, these men plain and simply lie to women. For example, a man in this category will have three different sex partners, but each of those three women will be under the misguided belief that she is that man’’s ““exclusively committed sex partner.””

These poor, naïve

women. These men sometimes fancy themselves as ““players,”” but in reality, they are not. Not even close. These men are usually referred to as ““Dogs”” and/or ““Lying womanizers.””

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Motivation #3:

To Get Women to Have Sex with Them by

Pretending as though Sex is the Last Thing On Their Mind Most men realize that their underlying reason for wanting to date any woman is sex. Whether they want a long-term relationship or shortterm relationship or a monogamous relationship or a nonmonogamous relationship, these men realize that ultimately, dating comes down to the desire to exchange pleasurable orgasms with a woman. Some men let this desire be known upfront and straightforwardly. They make it clear that they are not looking for anything platonic in any way, shape, or form with any single, unattached woman. You have to respect a man who is not afraid to let his manly desires be known from the get-go. Realistically though, there are some men who believe that the most effective means of getting a woman to have sex with them is to hide, deny, and/or camouflage their sexual desires. These men basically behave indefinitely as though sex is the absolute last thing on their mind. Men in this category will do things like spend a lot of time engaging in entertaining ““small talk”” with women, making them laugh,

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performing both financial and non-financial favors for them, and generally treating women like ““play sisters”” and princesses. These men foolishly believe that these women will one day show their gratitude for all of the favors executed by becoming their girlfriend, ““friend-with-benefits,”” or short-term sex partner. In my previous book, Mode One, I referred to these men as ““Mode Three Targets.”” Some people refer to these men as ““weasels.”” The feigned ““play brother / play sister”” relationship is what I refer to as FunClubbing. I’’ve discussed this on my talk radio show as well as many blogs, message boards, discussion forums, and in many of my television and radio interviews. Most men are dreadfully afraid to express their desire for nonmonogamous sex to women in an upfront, straightforward manner. Again, this is over half of the reason I wrote Mode One. Women know that the average man is scared to straightforwardly ask for a one-night stand, a weekend fling, a friends-with-benefits situation, and they take advantage of it. If you read Mode One: Let the Women Know What You’’re REALLY Thinking, you already know how I feel about identifying and preventing manipulation. The only way you can truly be manipulated

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by a particular person is if you are either directly or indirectly attempting to manipulate that same person yourself. MANIPULATION IS ALWAYS A TWO-WAY STREET. Adult men and women who employ manipulative tactics themselves are usually the primary people who become victims of manipulation. This is what I already pointed out at the beginning of the chapter: It is much easier for someone to ‘‘get over on you’’ when you’’re trying to ‘‘get over on them.’’ The only reason you got duped was because you were trying to dupe someone yourself. Men and women who are upfront, very specific, firm about what they are willing to sacrifice, and straightforwardly honest about their desires, interests and intentions very rarely, if ever, get mislead or manipulated. Straightshooters only experience one of two responses from others: reciprocation and/or rejection. There really is no inbetween. If I approach a woman at a social gathering, and I say, ““I want to have casual sex with you for the next four-to-six weeks …… nothing monogamous, no wining and dining, no holding hands in the park on a Saturday afternoon …… just good, enjoyable episodes of exchanging

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orgasms,”” what can that woman really do, other than reciprocate my interests or reject my interests? Very little, if anything. I’’m going to get into more full detail about manipulative men and women in subsequent chapters, but here is an early clue to the primary characteristic of manipulative people …… particularly as it relates to dating and relationships: MANIPULATIVE PEOPLE DON’’T LIKE TO BE PUT IN A POSITION WHERE THEY HAVE TO BE UPFRONT AND STRAIGHTFORWARD REGARDING WHAT THEY WANT FROM YOU or DON’’T WANT FROM YOU. Remember that. Mark it down. Keep that in your mind indefinitely. The quickest way to frustrate a manipulative man or woman is to put them in a position where they have to be upfront and straightforward in terms of communicating to you what they want from you or don’’t want from you. This interferes with the games they desire to play. Manipulative people don’’t like to give you a quick, definite ““yes”” or a quick, definite ““no.””

Manipulative people like to be vague and

ambiguous when it comes to expressing their romantic and/or sexual desires, interests and intentions. They like to ““beat-around-the-bush.””

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Manipulative people like to say things like ““We’’ll see……”” or ““maybe, maybe not,”” or ““kinda, sorta.”” Vague bullshit statements like that. They don’’t like specificity. They like room to ““fudge”” and toy with people. Manipulative people love to be flakey and wishy-washy. Manipulative people don’’t like to say, ““Yes, I will …….”” or ““No, I won’’t ……”” Manipulative people like to ““keep you guessing.”” Have you ever had a conversation with someone, and at the conclusion of the conversation, you could not really remember half of what they talked about? You felt confused …… puzzled? That’’s because you just got finish talking to a person who is generally full of shit.

A

disingenuous manipulator. That’’s what they do. They talk a lot, but they don’’t really say anything that is specific or definite. Straightshooters use very few words to get their point across. They say what they mean, and mean what they say. Everything is to-thepoint, firm, upfront, specific, and candid. They tell you what they want, and how much time, money, and/or effort they are willing to give up to get what they want. They don’’t fudge. They don’’t use vague, ambiguous, and/or convoluted language.

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You guessed it …… more questions: 1) When was the last time you felt ‘‘used,’’ exploited, or manipulated?

Were you left feeling angry, frustrated,

resentful and/or bitter? 2) If you are a man, have you ever pretended to be interested in a long-term, monogamous relationship when you knew you just wanted casual sex?

Have you ever pretended to be

content with a platonic friendship when you knew deep-down that you wanted to date that woman or have casual sex with that woman? Why did you do that?

3) If you are a woman, have you ever continued to remain ““just friends”” with a man despite the fact that you knew he wanted to date you or have casual sex with you?

Why?

How

important is flattering attention from men to you?

How

important is financial favors from men to you?

How

important is it to have a man entertain you (in a non-sexual manner) when you are bored and lonely?

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Chapter FOUR

Mode One Behavior And Manipulative Game Players Based on all of my adult years interacting with the opposite gender, I have come to the conclusion that every person you are interested in dating or having sex with will generally fall into two categories, and then even more specifically, two sub-categories within each of the main two categories. The starting point of identifying what man or woman falls into what category depends specifically on what are your interests? What are your romantic and/or sexual desires, interests, and intentions with the person you are interacting with at the moment? You will never be able to accurately identify the type of people you are dealing with if you don’’t know your own motivations for interacting with this person. Personally, I believe you at any given moment in time you always know why you are interacting with a member of the opposite sex.

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Revisit those six types of relationships I discussed Chapter Two (e.g., long-term monogamous, long-term non-monogamous, et al). You might try to fool others …… and even to a certain extent, yourself …… but deep-down, you ALWAYS know what you want from a member of the opposite sex. Usually, it is going to be physical intimacy, emotional attachment, loyal support, respect, money and/or financial favors and employment favors, to be entertained when you are bored, to be flattered when your ego and self-esteem need a boost, or some other tangible and/or intangible benefit your mind leads you to believe is desirable to you. Once you have good idea of what your own romantic and/or sexual desires, interests and intentions are, then you can begin to develop a knack for evaluating what men or women are manipulative or nonmanipulative, and share the same interests as you or do not share the same interests as you. Mode Two Behavior will not help you identify Manipulative Game Players. Mode Two Behavior is too cautious and involves too much vague and ambiguous type conversation. Mode Three Behavior will not help you identify Manipulative Game Players. You are too busy hiding, denying and camouflaging your own desires and interests to recognize the true desires and interests of others.

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Only Mode One Behavior truly helps you identify manipulative types from non-manipulative types. When you are Mode One, here are the four general types of women (and men) you will run into:

Reciprocators

Straightshooters Rejecters Pretenders

Manipulative Game Players

Timewasters

There really are no other categories that those you interact with will fall into. Any man or woman you choose to interact with at any given moment in time is going to be a Reciprocator, a Rejecter, a Pretender, or a Timewaster. As you can predict, Straightshooters are far easier to deal with in the long-run than Manipulative Game Players. Straightshooters say what they mean, and mean what they say. The whole purpose of this book is really designed to teach you how to identify and deal with Pretenders and Timewasters.

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Since I’’m attempting to make this book somewhat ““balanced”” between advice to men and advice for women (even though in reality, it is not my specialty to be giving advice to women on dating and relationships …… I’’m all about helping out the ““frustrated nice guys”” out in the world), how I define each member of each category will be different depending on gender. For example, a ““male timewaster”” is different than a ““female timewaster.””

There really are not any ““male Pretenders.””

category is almost exclusively female.

That

If a man has the same

romantic and/or sexual interests as a woman, he is going to let her know his interests in an upfront and straightforward manner. Timewasters are different. For example, many men would consider a woman a ““timewaster”” if she’’s not offering him the opportunity to have sex with her. Many women would call a man a timewaster if he’’s only looking for sex. Different gender, different perspective. So again, I’’m going to try to give both genders advice on manipulative head games, but there will more-than-likely be at least a slight lean towards helping single men identify manipulative women more so than helping out single women identify manipulative men.

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Question to women: When a man expresses his romantic and/or sexual desires, interests and intentions to you in an upfront, straightforward manner …… what prevents you from either straightforwardly reciprocating his desires or straightforwardly rejecting his desires and interests? Question to men: Are you able to very quickly and effectively identify a manipulative woman from a non-manipulative woman?

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Chapter FIVE

Reciprocators Of the four categories of men and women you will interact with, none will be more enjoyable and easy to deal with than those men and women who are totally willing to reciprocate your romantic and/or sexual desires, interests and intentions. I don’’t really need to offer you any words of wisdom regarding a Reciprocator. The only thing I would emphasize when dealing with men and women in this group is that it is imperative that you let the men and women in your life know exactly what you are looking for, and exactly why you want to share their company (in other words, exhibit Mode One Behavior). If you fail to do this, you end up confusing a ““Reciprocator”” with a ““Timewaster,”” which I will talk about in more detail in Chapter Eight. At the risk of generalizing by gender, I will say that based on my experiences and observations, men are far more likely to reciprocate a woman’’s desires and interests straightforwardly much more than the average woman will …… particularly as it relates to [casual] sex.

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Men are not known for making women ““jump through hoops”” in order to engage in casual sex. Women do that quite frequently. In an ideal world, all men and women should find no reason not to reciprocate each other’’s romantic and/or sexual desires, interests and intentions if they both share the same desires and interests. In my lifetime, no more than 10-15% of the women I’’ve met have been reciprocators.

I love these women.

These women are not

looking for any incentives or rewards in exchange for their monogamous or non-monogamous sexual companionship.

These

women are not looking to engage in any sort of ‘‘ego battles’’ or head games.

These women are genuine, down-to-earth, and non-

manipulative. If a woman is a Reciprocator, then once you tell her that you have some desires and interests that are in line with her own, she’’s like, ““let’’s go for it.”” Trust me fellas …… when you meet a woman like this, treasure it. These women are the diamond in the haystack. The only ‘‘catch’’ with Reciprocators is that sometimes you might confuse a Reciprocator with a Timewaster. Again, this is over half of the reason why I wrote this book.

To help men (and women)

distinguish between Straightshooters and Manipulative Game Players,

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to distinguish Reciprocators from Timewasters, and to distinguish Rejecters from Pretenders. The only behavior that will allow you to do that is Mode One Behavior. When you exhibit Mode Two Behavior (i.e., expressing your desires and interests in a manner which is vague, ambiguous, overly cautious, indecisive, etc.) or Mode Three Behavior (i.e., hiding your true desires and interests, denying your interests, camouflaging your interests, etc.) you will never be able to distinguish what woman falls into what category. Let’’s be clear on what reciprocation is: If a man or woman adds some sort of ““condition”” or incentive or reward, then that is not reciprocation. That is manipulation. If a woman says, ““Alan, can I borrow $500.00 until two weeks from now?”” and I say, ““Sure. No problem.”” That is reciprocation. If that woman asks me that same favor, and I say, ““Well …… if you give me five blowjobs over the next two weeks, then yeah …… I’’ll go ahead and loan you the money ……”” then that is not reciprocation. That is manipulation.

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Common question from men who read Mode One: ““So wait a minute Alan. Are you saying that if I have an interest in simply a one night erotic tryst with a woman, I should just approach her, and tell her what I’’m REALLY THINKING? Won’’t I get slapped or cursed out?”” A non-manipulative straightshooter would never have an adverse reaction to upfront, straightforward honesty. Never. A Pretender and/or Timewaster might. Not a Reciprocator. Women who are Reciprocators welcome bold, straightforward honesty (this is not simply my opinion …… women tell me this literally on a monthly, if not weekly basis). Cherish every moment you are able to enjoy interacting with a Reciprocator. This is the group where your ““soulmates”” will usually come from.

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Question to men: When you express your romantic and/or sexual desires, interests and intentions to women in a Mode One manner, how do they generally respond to you? Question to women: What is your greatest fear of straightforwardly reciprocating a man’’s desires and interests, assuming your desires and interests are the same as his?

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Chapter SIX

Rejecters Be honest: Are you afraid of rejection? Answer that question for yourself. In the meantime, pretend that I have met this fictitious woman named ““Brenda.”” Brenda is so fine. She is one super sexy woman. Nice breasts. Nice butt. Intelligent. Articulate. Well-read. I want to date this woman very, very badly. I think about Brenda every day of the week. I approach Brenda, let her know that I’’m attracted to her . . . only for her to say, ““Alan, you are so not my type. We can be platonic friends though!!”” Forget that ““platonic friends”” crap. I don’’t want to be any woman’’s ““play brother.”” As a man, have you felt this way after receiving a similar response? You have your eyes set on one attractive, quality woman …… and she breaks your heart and/or crushes your ego by telling you that you are ““not her type.”” Ain’’t that a bitch.

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When I was younger, I sometimes had a tough time handling rejection. I would assume all men who are roughly thirty-five years of age or younger have had a tough time dealing with being rejected. You think it is an indictment on what you have or don’’t have to offer. Sometimes, when you are rejected by a woman …… you think this means that you are not attractive enough, not sexy enough, not wealthy enough, not intelligent enough and not entertaining enough to maintain this woman’’s interest. Poor you. Back to this woman named Brenda. Fast forward to one year later where I’’m hangin with my boys, and one of them says, ““Yo Al . . . you remember that chick Brenda you used to be crazy about?”” Of course, I’’m like, ““why do you have to bring HER up?!?”” My friend: ““Man …… the dude she started dating after you met her is in jail.”” Jail? Huh? ““Evidently, he found out she was pregnant with his best friend’’s baby and on top of that, she left some cocaine in homeboy’’s car which caused him to get cited for possession. He lost his temper and beat her ass. Now, ol’’ dude is locked up.”” Well, well, well. Isn’’t Ms. Brenda a piece of work. Fine, sexy Brenda. The woman who I once thought might be ““the one.””

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How would I feel? Why of course I would feel vindicated. Of course I would feel like, ‘‘whew …… glad that wasn’’t me who got caught up.”” I know some of you reading my book might be atheist or agnostic, but my belief is, Rejection is God’’s Protection. The MAN UPSTAIRS knows who you need to be with and who you don’’t need to be with. HE usually gives you signs. HE will provide you with certain ““red flags”” …… either overt or subtle. You can choose to pay attention or not. I have reached a point in my life where I no longer fear rejection from a woman. My attitude is, ““if it’’s meant for me to interact with a woman, date a woman, and enjoy pleasurable orgasms with a woman, an opportunity will be provided to me.”” I have found myself many times saying to myself, ““In retrospect, I am so glad I never dater HER.”” It is similar to having your shuttle bus get you to the airport late, and you miss your flight …… and you are angry, using profanity and throwing a hissy fit …… until …… you find out that the plane you missed had electrical trouble and crashed. You are now like, ““Wow. Thank GOD I wasn’’t on that plane.”” Changes your perspective on not getting your way, doesn’’t it?

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Trust me on this: Rejection is always WIN / WIN. If a woman who is genuinely just not interested in you, and has no real romantic or sexual attraction to you, then her rejecting you is saving you TIME and MONEY. When you are young, you don’’t realize that as much as you do when you reach the age of thirty-five and older. TIME IS PRECIOUS. Don’’t waste time pursuing women who have no interest in you. I will talk about this in a little more detail in Chapter Eight. You didn’’t waste time …… You didn’’t waste money …… WIN. If a woman rejects you, but deep-down, she really is attracted to you physically, romantically and sexually …… then she is a Pretender (who I will discuss in the next chapter). And 90% chance or more, this woman is going to make an effort to communicate with you again sometime in the future. And just who will have the ““upper hand”” in this relationship now? YOU will. She rejected me initially …… but she got in contact with me later on …… Another WIN for you Rejection is more painful and frustrating when it comes after you have invested a high amount of time and/or money.

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Many dating and relationships advisors, authors, and gurus make thousands and thousands of dollars leading you to believe that the absolute worst thing that could ever happen to you in the world of dating is to get rejected by a woman. And you know what? That is some BULLSHIT. How would you ever hook up with the RIGHT person if none of the WRONG [potential] companions ever rejected you? Rejection is a natural part of the rituals of dating. Not every woman you meet is going to have the same desires as you or the same interests as you. Some women will find you too short, too fat, too poor, not ambitious enough, not funny enough, etc. SO? Why would you want to be with a woman who treats a $1,000,000.00 cashier’’s check (you) like a $10.00 money order (their perception of you)? You cannot succeed with women if you are profoundly afraid of rejection. That would be like a top-notch home run hitting baseball player being dreadfully afraid of striking out. Striking out happens to all home run champions. Do you think Barry Bonds walked up to the plate afraid of striking out? Babe Ruth? Hank Aaron? C’’mon fellas. Puhleaze. Don’’t read or purchase any ““dating advice”” book that makes you feel like if you get rejected, you are doing something ““wrong”” …… or

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failing to do something ““right.”” In a few cases …… yeah, well maybe. But in most cases? The woman is simply NOT INTERESTED. It was not meant to be. Move on to the next woman. WIN / WIN Baby. Same goes for women. If a man loses interest in you because you told him you choose to wait until you are married before having sex, then that is his loss. Do not have sex with a man because he pressures you to, or makes you feel obligated to do so. I say you should appreciate each and every man or woman in your life who rejects you in an upfront, straightforward manner. You will be over that rejection in a matter of minutes, hours, or a few days. If you asked me to write a list of the last twenty-five women who rejected me and my interests, I wouldn’’t be able to do it. But I guarantee you . . . if you asked me to write down a list of the last ten-to-fifteen women who caused me to waste time and/or money, I could write down their first name, last name, middle name, their grandmother’’s name …… and so on. Okay, I lied about the last two. But you get my point.

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You want to look out for Timewasters more than Rejecters. Rejecters are not the ““bad guys”” (or ““gals””). Not at all. They are helping you move one step closer to the men and women you are supposed to be interacting with. Men, if a woman states her lack of interest in you in a firm, crystal clear, straightforward manner …… please …… leave her alone. I receive a number of comments and complaints from women telling me how many men just can’’t handle or accept rejection. I’’m not talking about women who express the ““slow no”” variation.

I’’m talking about

women who look you dead in your eyes and say to you, ““I have no interest in sharing your company in a romantic or sexual manner.”” Leave her alone. The fear of rejection is what causes men to exhibit Mode Three Behavior just like the fear of harsh criticism causes men to exhibit Mode Two Behavior. Do not fall into that trap. Express your desires and interests to women in an upfront, straightforwardly honest manner and leave the rest up to them. The fear of rejection comes from ““attaching”” yourself to a specific and/or expected result, reaction or response. Do not allow your ego

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to become attached to a specific result. The result is ultimately out of your hands. Never allow yourself to be in a position where you feel as though you ““need”” a man or woman’’s romantic and/or sexual companionship. Only allow yourself to want their companionship. When you allow yourself to need men or women’’s companionship, you open the door for them to treat you in an undesirable and/or disrespectful manner. Accept rejection quickly and gracefully.

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Questions: 1) When a man or woman fails to reciprocate your romantic and/or sexual interests (i.e., they reject you), do you generally take a long time to get over being rejected? 2) Think about the last time a man or woman expressed in interest in dating you and/or having sex with you. Did you let that person know in an upfront and straightforward manner that you were not interested? Or did you go the coward’’s route and simply ‘‘blow them off’’ (e.g., fail to return their phone calls, ignored their Email messages, etc.)

3) Have you ever pretended to be interested in someone for a short period of time simply because you didn’’t have the courage to reject that person?

4) Think of a time when a man or woman rejected you, but then weeks, months, or years later, you found out a number of characteristics about the person who rejected you that made you feel glad that you had never dated them or had sex with them. Did that make you feel better later on? Did you feel vindicated?

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Chapter SEVEN

Pretenders It's a lot of real G's doin' time 'Cuz a groupie bent the truth and told a lie. You picked the wrong guy, baby if you're too fly You need to hit the door, search for a new guy. 'Cuz I only got one night in town, Break down or be clowned, Baby doll are you down? I get around Lyrics from the late Tupac Shakur’’s rap song, I Get Around Now please tell me you are not naïve enough to believe that everyone who is interesting in dating you or having sex with you is just going to tell you in an upfront and straightforward manner without any drama or challenge to your ego? No way. Similarly, tell me you are not so inexperienced to think that because a member of the opposite sex does not share the same romantic and/or sexual interests as you, that they are just going to dismiss you and quickly move on to the next person. Uhm . . . . no.

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Women …… you might as well bypass this chapter and move on to Chapter Eight. I will be with you in a moment. The reason being is, realistically, there are very few, if any men who validly fall into the category of a ““Pretender.”” If a woman expresses to a man that she has an interest in a long-term monogamous relationship …… and a man feels the same way …… 99.99% chance, he is going to reciprocate. If a woman expresses to a man that she has an interest in only casual sex …… and a man feels the same way …… 99.999999% chance, he is going to quickly reciprocate. Men very rarely, if ever, ““pretend”” not to have the same romantic and/or sexual interests in a woman, only to acknowledge similar interests later on. Pretenders are virtually always women. Men are usually Reciprocators, Rejecters, or Timewasters. Fellas, get ready for some real talk. Get your notepads out, and jot down some thoughts. There will be a lot of harsh, provocative, even X-rated talk in this chapter and the next, so if you consider yourself a conservative person or a deeply religious person, this content might make you blush. You have been warned. Read this chapter at your own risk.

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If you are a father to a daughter fifteen years of age or older, there is a good chance you told your daughter to stay away from the ‘‘loser’’ types. The ones who are earning bad grades, use profanity and bad grammar, get into fights all of the time, and just generally cause trouble in the neighborhood. You want your daughter with good guys with a promising future and good, wholesome intentions, right? Please tell me that you didn’’t really think she was going to follow that advice did you. Shame on you. There is at least a 50% chance right now that your daughter is somewhere exchanging orgasms with that very ‘‘loser’’ type who you spoke of; That ‘‘loser’’ is fu**ing your daughter in the back seat of a car with a vengeance. He knows you and others perceive him as a ‘‘loser,’’ so he is taking out his vindictive frustration on your daughter while his manhood is inside her vagina. Too harsh? I’’m not here to give you advice about life, dating and relationships in a ““G-rated”” style manner. This is real life baby. That guy who you perceive as the ‘‘loser’’ type is the proverbial ““bad boy.”” That bad boy knows how to break your daughter down and get her panties wet. Performing such a feat is an art form for him. ““Damnit Alan! Why do you have to be so cynical and graphic!! My daughter is a ‘‘good girl’’ who makes all of the right decisions!! Her

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mind is not corrupted!!”” Yeah, okay. You keep telling yourself that to make you sleep better at night.

The reality is, your teenage

daughter is somewhere right now on her knees giving a ‘‘bad boy’’ an enthusiastic blowjob. Whatever you do, don’’t be a naïve parent. Let’’s say you are in high school.

As the ““nice guy”” in the

neighborhood, you hear your platonic female friend ““Michelle”” refer to her ex-boyfriend ““T-Dog”” as a thug, a loser, an asshole, a liar, a dog, and every other highly subjective and insulting label in the book. Guess what though Mr. Nice Guy? T-Dog is exchanging orgasms with Michelle anytime he wants to, and all you get to do is listen to Michelle vent about T-Dog’’s so-called undesirable behavior. Doesn’’t that frustrate you? I mean, really. T-Dog is your classic ““bad boy.”” Michelle tells her girlfriends that you are a good guy, a ““sweetie,”” very intelligent, very funny, enjoyable to play pool with and go bowling with …… right? Then how come you can’’t even get Michelle to give you a kiss? T-Dog is getting sex regularly from Michelle. Michelle is T-Dog’’s personal kinky freak. You are Michelle’’s ““play brother.”” The guy she count on to entertain her and comfort her. Are you feelin’’ me Mr. Nice Guy? You see, you have Michelle on a pedestal . . . you already have her branded as ““marriage material”” ……

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but yet T-Dog has his way with Michelle. She is nothing but just ONE of his many kinky freaks in his cell phone contact list. ““So what you’’re saying Alan is …… ‘‘bad boys’’ get all of the women, and the ‘‘nice guys’’ like me can only hope for platonic friendship at best? Wow. That’’s messed up.”” Nice guys don’’t get the punani. Let’’s start at the beginning, shall we? If you are the teenager Michelle’’s mother and/or father, you took her to church every Sunday. Michelle was in Sunday School just about every week. Michelle earned a B+ or higher in all of her classes. When you gave her the ““birds and bees”” talk, you let her know that her sexual companionship is best reserved for marriage, or at minimum, some guy who she is deeply in love with. You, Mr. Nice Guy, were taught by your mother to be a ““wellmannered gentleman,”” and to exhibit socially appropriate behavior around all of the young ladies so they will go home and tell their parents that you are a really good guy. A guy who the teenage girl’’s parents could trust their daughter to go out on a date with. You know what Mr. Bad Boy said to all of those rules of etiquette? He said, ““I follow my own rules.”” Mr. Bad Boy lives by his own

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guidelines for what is appropriate. He behaves in whatever manner he feels is conducive to achieving his desired objectives. You don’’t like Mr. Bad Boy’’s behavior? SO. Don’’t like his tattoos or earrings? SO. Don’’t like his profane language? SO. Don’’t like his seemingly lack of career ambition? SO. Like Mr. Bad Boy really cares about what YOU think of him and what YOUR opinion of him is. You see Mr. Nice Guy, if a woman can predict your behavior too frequently, you soon become boring to her. If when she says ““jump,”” and you respond by saying, ““how high?”” right there you have lost any change of ever dating her or having sex with this woman. A woman with an ego who has a high desire to manipulate men wants a challenge. She wants a man who is intriguing to her. A man who is going to pass all of her ““tests.”” ““Tests? What tests??”” Some of the tests administered by a Manipulative Game Player: Test #1: Are you afraid of being rejected by me? Does it bother you to be indefinitely ignored by me? Didn’’t we just get finished talking about rejection in the last chapter? Of course we did.

Most men do everything possible to prevent

themselves from being rejected and/or ignored by a woman who they

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find attractive and sexy. Most high school guys, college guys, and men in their twenties want to be associated with the women who are popular, attractive, and sexy. Everyone knows this. Don’’t you think women know this? Oh .. you didn’’t know that? Shame on you bro. In Mode One, I talked about the negative effects of the classroom bully. The bully says, ““you better do what I say or I’’m going to kick your ass.”” A manipulative woman has a similar mindset. ““you better do what I say and behave in a manner that I approve of, or otherwise I’’m going to act like I don’’t know you and indefinitely ignore you.”” Do you let women ‘‘punk’’ you like this? Nice Guy types punk out. They give in. They say all of the right things in the right way without even thinking about taking a chance at pissing a woman off. No way. You play up to her ego. You offer to wine & dine her. You listen to all of her boring ass stories. You are better than having a puppy.

Why wouldn’’t any woman say

anything but great things about you? You are truly MR. NICE GUY. The Mr. Bad Boys of society could care less if these women threaten to ignore them. They have enough women in their stable for it not to matter. Do you think a man with balls is going to attempt to say ““the right thing in the right manner?”” Puhleaze. Wake up.

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Mr. Bad Boy is going to say whatever the hell he feels like saying. Oh, a woman doesn’’t like how Mr. Bad Boy expresses himself verbally? SO. The Bad Boy types have balls. They don’’t care about the threat of being indefinitely ignored by any one woman. Bad Boy types don’’t live their life to please, impress, and/or accommodate women with spoiled egos and manipulative tendencies. They don’’t play that game. A Bad Boy type could care less if women choose to indefinitely ignore him. SO WHAT. Hey Mr. Nice Guy, you not only want a woman’’s attention and companionship, but rather you need it. Your ego and your selfesteem have to have it. Consequently, you fail this test. Test #2: Are you afraid of being harshly criticized by me? Does it bother you to have me call you derogatory names and insult you? You don’’t want me to label you a ‘‘jerk’’ do you? Hey Mr. Nice Guy. I know the second most significant fear you have next to the fear of being rejected and/or ignored. You are afraid of ““Ms. Woman of Your Dreams”” having an adverse reaction to anything you say. You would never want to be labeled an ‘‘asshole’’ or a ‘‘jerk’’, now would you? Of course not. Your ego is way too sensitive to harsh criticisms.

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Any attractive woman can get you to shape up totally to her preferences just by threatening to call you an undesirable name. Don’’t you realize that anyone with a spoiled ego who doesn’’t get their way is going to become angry with you? That is human nature my friend. What do subjective labels mean to you anyway? Bad Boy types don’’t live their life to win favorable opinions and flattering compliments from women with spoiled egos and manipulative tendencies. They don’’t play that game. A Bad Boy type could care less if women choose to harshly criticism him and insult him to their girlfriends behind his back. SO WHAT. Test #3: You better offer me some sort of incentive or reward for sharing your company. If you spend money on me I might just let you masturbate on the idea and visualization of having sex with me. Did you hear that? ““No way Alan. No young lady who was raised in a Christian home thinks like this!! Aren’’t you going a bit overboard?? I mean, there are genuine ‘‘good girls’’ you know.”” You are right. There are some women who are ““genuine good girls”” (i.e., not manipulative, good morals and values, want to only have sex with a man who is their husband, fiancé, or long-time boyfriend, etc.).

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The reality is the genuine good girls probably make up about 10-15% of the single women in society.

Maybe 20-25% if I’’m being

generous. The vast majority of single women have had at least one Bad Boy type ‘‘turn them out’’ (i.e., got the previously ‘‘innocent’’ and ‘‘wholesome’’ woman to unleash/reveal their hidden kinky side). Many single women who are manipulative, calculating, spoiled, kinky and even promiscuous are playing the role of a ““good girl.”” This is what I refer to as a ““Wholesome Pretender”” or ““Erotic Hypocrite.”” They play the ‘‘good girl’’ role as well as any fictional character that feature-film legend Meryl Streep has ever played on celluloid. You see, once an attractive woman discovers that there are hundreds, if not thousands of horny ass men out in society ready to flatter her ego at the drop of a dime, spend money on her to no ends, and pretty much do whatever she asks just for at least one opportunity to get between her legs, it is at the moment that a woman discovers the ““power of the pussy.”” That ‘‘power’’ is very addicting for women. Men get new jobs to get in a woman’’s pants. Men purchase more expensive clothes, more expensive automobiles, and more expensive houses just to gain the opportunity to slide their erect penis in and out of the vagina of a really attractive, sexy, but seemingly inaccessible

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woman. Let’’s just keep it real: Over half of what motivates a man to do damn near EVERYTHING he does is to GET LAID. A man wanting to get laid is not what opens the door for manipulative head games to take place. As I mentioned in Mode One, it is when you start offering women incentives and rewards in exchange for their romantic and sexual companionship that the games begin. No Games: Alan: ““I want to exchange orgasms with you.”” Desirable Woman: ““Okay. I’’m attracted to you Alan, so I wouldn’’t have a problem with that.”” Alan: ““Cool.”” Head Games: Alan: ““I want to exchange orgasms with you.”” Desirable Woman:

““What do I look like …… some sort of street

whore? Some sort of airhead slut? You better show me some respect and come to me correct Mr. Man! Do I look like I have ‘‘I’’m an easy lay’’ on my forehead? You better take me to a fancy restaurant!! Men!””

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What the woman is really saying with this ““theatrical”” reaction: Alan, you need to offer me some sort of incentive or reward in exchange for me allowing you to have sex with me. I need to be flattered. I need to be wined & dined. I need to be made to feel ‘‘special.’’ If you don’’t behave in the manner that is to my ego’’s liking, I’’m not going to speak to you again. I’’m going to dislike you, talk trash about you, and indefinitely ignore you. Naïve Alan: ““She’’s a Rejecter!”” Experienced Alan: ““She’’s a Pretender.”” Pretenders get mistaken for Rejecters all of the time by men who are inexperienced with women. What is the difference? Rejecters, as explained in the last chapter, simply are not interested in you. These women have no desire to date you or have sex with you whatsoever. And they are not afraid to tell you that to your face. Pretenders on the other hand are women who potentially have some degree of attraction to you and interest in you, but if you fail their tests, they actually do lose interest. You have virtually a 0% chance of getting a woman who is a Rejecter to show any interest in you. I don’’t care if you get a better job, lose

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weight, win the lottery, become rich and famous …… whatever. Women who are Rejecters will never become interested in you beyond maybe possibly a platonic friendship. With Pretenders, it can go either way. Their interest in you can significantly increase or decrease. Revisit my opening quote from Chapter Two in my previous book, Mode One. The woman who was quoted in Essence magazine. She is a classic example of a Pretender. You’’ve heard the term, ““what separates the men from the boys.”” Pretenders separate the men with balls from the men without balls. Pretenders separate the ‘‘nice guys’’ from the ‘‘bad boys.’’ Pretenders separate the men who can be easily manipulated from those men who it is next-to-impossible to manipulate. Have you ever had a woman give you her a phone number, but when you called her, she never returned your phone call? She might tell you she is ““busy,”” but that is simply a manipulative ““test.”” She wants to see how long you can be ignored by her before it bothers you, and you begin demanding to receive attention from her. I know men who have made the mistake of calling women administering such a test two times, five times, even ten times without that woman calling them back. These guys failed her manipulative test. sexual companionship for them. The Pretender has lost interest.

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The reason why that woman is not returning your calls is because you have already proved to her that you cannot be ignored by her. That is a major turn-off to a Pretender. Pretenders want a challenge. Fundamental rule to remember about Pretender types: If you pass one or more of a Pretender’’s manipulative head games tests, nine times out of ten, their romantic and/or sexual interest in you will increase as the days, weeks, and months go by; If you fail one or more of a Pretender’’s manipulative head games tests, nine times out of ten, their interest in dating you or having sex with you is going to significantly decrease over time. As a man, think of a time when you met a woman …… and initially, it seemed like this woman was absolutely crazy over you. Then, as quickly as two or three weeks later, this woman behaved as though she was totally uninterested in you. I’’ve had that happen at least nine or ten times in my adult life …… particularly when I was younger. I didn’’t realize it at the time, but I was dealing with a Pretender. Now that I’’m older, I am fully aware of the wide variety of manipulative tests women administer to men. When I was young and naïve though, I used to get played sometimes.

I would be left feeling angry,

confused, and frustrated. Slowly but surely, I became wise.

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Reciprocators VS Pretenders: ““What if you meet a woman who initially gives every sign of being a Reciprocator? How can I distinguish her from a Pretender?”” Reciprocators do not look for incentives and rewards in exchange for their romantic and/or sexual companionship. If they are interested in communicating with you and sharing your company, they simply let you know. A Pretender will usually make some sort of comment to you that lets you know that she is accustomed to being flattered by men, accommodated by men, wined & dined by men, and generally spoiled by men. If you bite on the manipulative bait, you are dead meat. An interaction with a Reciprocator: You: ““I am very attracted to you, and I think we should share each other’’s company sometime in the near future . . .”” Desirable Woman: ““That sounds great.”” You: ““Your place or mine?”” Desirable Woman: ““Yours.”” You: ““Cool. I will call you before the week is over, and we will take it from there.””

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An interaction with a Pretender: You: ““I am very attracted to you, and I think we should share each other’’s company sometime in the near future . . .”” Desirable Woman: ““So what restaurant are we going to?”” You: ““Well, actually …… I was thinking more along the lines of a quiet, intimate evening at my place . . .”” Desirable Woman: ““Sorry, but I don’’t know you. I prefer to be taken out to lunch, dinner, movie or a concert prior to going over to a man’’s residence. I don’’t know you like that.”” The latter is an example of a Pretender issuing one of her manipulative head games test.

She will say she’’s just being

““cautious.”” That is bullshit. If she was truly being cautious, she would invite you over to her place, and have a girlfriend there. A Pretender is going to always test you to see what you are willing to offer her in exchange for her companionship.

If not something

monetary or tangible, at minimum something intangible such as a high degree of fawning and flattery. Men, not that I’’m trying to get you to watch adult films if that is not your thing, but you have to watch the opening scene in this movie entitled Talk Dirty To Me. I talk about this movie all of the time on

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message boards, blogs, and radio interviews. Adult film legend John Leslie stars as this incorrigible slacker womanizer named ““Jack,”” and he has this interaction with this Wholesome Pretender type at the beginning of the film. The woman is this prim, proper, pretentious physician. How he breaks her down is just wonderful to watch. One of his comments to her is, ““I bet most men would pay you big bucks to get in your pants, wouldn’’t they? Big bucks. (pause) Well, I wouldn’’t pay you SHIT.”” I hollered with laughter when he said that. Sure enough, a few minutes later, she’’s on her knees giving him a blowjob. He passed her test, and he got rewarded for it. Some might say, ““Oh …… that’’s just a movie though.”” I beg to differ. I’’ve had similar scenarios play out with me that were almost just like that. When you are dealing with a Pretender type, you cannot give them the impression that you are willing to play their game. You cannot allow harsh criticisms to throw you for a loop, or allow threats of being indefinitely ignored cause you any sort of frustration. The key with a Pretender is that you have to let them know that you value your own attention and companionship. If a woman thinks for a micro-second that you perceive her attention and companionship as more valuable than your own, she’’s going to toy with you until she gets bored, and then just unceremoniously dismiss you.

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Men always ask, ““What do the so-called Bad Boy types have to offer that the Nice Guy types in society do not have to offer?”” Among other characteristics, the men who are perceived as Bad Boys know their value to women. Bad Boy types usually know that women find them exciting, edgy, intriguing, enigmatic, and challenging, so they have no pressing desire to ““chase”” women in an aggressive manner. Nice Guy types are too quick to put women on pedestals. Bad Boys do not do that. They treat all women as if they have potential flaws and weaknesses in their behavior and their character. They treat all women as if they have a desire and/or need to be fucked. Nice Guys have a bad habit of treating women as if they are incapable of getting horny or incapable of entertaining erotic fantasies in their heads. If you are breathing, you have the potential to get sexually aroused. The desire for sex is a natural part of every human being’’s makeup. With the possible exception of a priest or a nun, no man or woman can resist and/or suppress their lustful desires indefinitely. Wholesome Pretenders VS Erotic Hypocrites The two main types of Pretenders are Wholesome Pretenders (WPs) and Erotic Hypocrites (EHs).

I talked about these two types of

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women in Chapter Six of Mode One. In many ways, the two groups of women are just alike …… but they possess one or two differences. Erotic Hypocrites are far more materialistic and social status-oriented than your average Wholesome Pretender. EHs usually target men with a high degree of career success, financial wealth, and middle class or upper class social status. WPs are simply women who like kinky sex and/or non-monogamous sex, but they don’’t want to ever be labeled a ““whore/ho,”” a ““slut,”” an ““easy lay,”” or a ““super freak.”” EHs work similar to a high-priced Call Girl or Erotic Escort, but they would never officially want to be labeled as such. With some guys, the EH looks to exchange their sexual companionship for monetary favors, employment opportunities, and other tangible and intangible benefits that willing men are offering them. A second scenario with an EH is to date and/or marry a man with means and status, but have side flings and affairs with Bad Boy types who don’’t have any wealth or status, but are really, really good in bed. I’’ve seen this scenario play out with a number of women I’’ve met over the years, particularly when I lived in Los Angeles. WPs are women who like their sex raw, uninhibited, and kinky …… and to one degree or another …… they like having sex with a number of

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different partners …… but they want to give men who are the ““marrying”” type the public impression that they are very innocent, wholesome, virtuous and monogamous-minded. WPs want to get married someday, but until they meet ““Mr. Right,”” they want to enjoy as much kinky sexual pleasure as possible. A WP will initially frown on any casual sex proposition you throw at them. That is their ““test.”” They love to have those ““theatrical”” reactions I spoke of earlier (e.g., ““Do you think I’’m a ho? Think again Mister!””) Next time a Wholesome Pretender goes into ““theatrical”” mode, ask yourself this question: Why would anyone who is DENYING YOU something (i.e., romantic companionship, sexual companionship) be pissed off about it? Shouldn’’t the one being rejected be the one pissed instead of the one doing the rejecting? Think about that. Let’’s take ““Amber.”” Amber has engaged in a number of one-night stands, weekend flings, threesomes, and other variations of kinky sex, but Amber doesn’’t want ““Mr. Nice Guy who might marry me someday”” to know that. No way. That might cause this guy to perceive as loose and promiscuous. Amber doesn’’t want that. So if Mr. Nice Guy was to approach Amber and even think about expressing an interest in only casual sex, Amber is going to let him

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HAVE IT. ““What do I look like …… a slut to you? A two-bit whore?? You jerk!!!”” Mr. Nice Guy can’’t take those sorts of harsh criticisms. So he retracts his invitation for casual sex, and apologizes for his ““rude”” propositions.

Just like Amber wants and expects him to.

Amber is smiling. In her mind, she is like ““What a weak ass punk. I made him back down. I am so bad!!!”” Next up, a Mode One / Bad Boy type. Just like Mr. Nice Guy, he expresses an interest in only casual sex as well. Amber, once again, says, ““What do I look like …… a slut to you? A two-bit whore? You jerk!!””

Amber smirks to herself, expecting an apology and a

retraction. To her surprise, Mr. Mode One doesn’’t offer either. Mr. Mode One just looks her dead in her eyes and smirks himself. ““You must be really horny. I can sense that you’’re tense and sexually frustrated…….”” Amber is trippin’’. That’’s not the response she was expecting to hear. Mr. Mode One Guy continues. ““I don’’t know if I’’ll have time to exchange orgasms with you this week …… but we’’ll hook up in two or three weeks. I’’m sure of that.”” Cocky bastard. Amber can’’t figure this guy out. ““Did this guy already talk to one of my ex-lovers?”” she thinks in her mind. ““Did he talk to one of my girlfriends who I share my sexual secrets with?”” she ponders. ““Why is he so confident that he can break me down?”” she wonders.

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Mr. Mode One Guy doesn’’t really know her history. He doesn’’t know her ““M.O.”” He knows what he wants, and he doesn’’t apologize for it. He knows he only wants casual sex, and nothing else is even on the table as an option. Why should he ever apologize for truth? Soon, Amber lightens up and gives in to the conversation. Hours later, days later, or weeks later, Amber is in bed with Mr. Mode One Guy. Your classic Wholesome Pretender. Mr. Mode One passed Amber’’s manipulative test(s) and he is rewarded for it. You see men, you can’’t break down a Rejecter (don’’t even try to), but you can surely break down an Erotic Hypocrite and/or a Wholesome Pretender. The key is knowing what you want from those women and never wavering from that.

Don’’t ever apologize for being

upfront, straightforward and truthful. No need to. Remember:

A Pretender is a woman who has some degree of

attraction and interest in you, but she’’s always going to ‘‘play the role’’ in order to protect her image and reputation.

Very few women,

particularly women under thirty-five who have never been married, want to ever risk developing a ““questionable”” reputation (I have found that most older women and/or women who have already been married once or twice really don’’t give a damn how you perceive them. They just live their life).

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Don’’t try to play games with a Pretender. You will lose. An EH or a WP will have you for dinner if you engage in head games with them. These two types of women know how to take advantage of a guy who is ‘‘pretending’’ themselves (i.e., A guy who is pretending not to be after sex, but really is). These women are professionals and prey on men who are weak with no balls and no real backbone. With an EH or WP, you have to express your desires and interests to them in a bold, to-the-point, totally unapologetic manner. You have to talk to a WP as if you already have factual knowledge that she has engaged in kinky, non-monogamous casual sex and she enjoyed it. Even if in reality, you don’’t know anything about this woman. I tell men all of the time: It is always better to approach a woman who is a genuine ““good girl”” type with the assumption that she is a ““kinky freak”” type than it is to be guilty of vice versa. I’’ve never regretted treating a good girl like a freak, but I’’ve always regretted treating a WP like an innocent, wholesome, virtuous good girl. Casual sex is the 800 pound gorilla in society.

We go around

behaving as though no one is engaging in casual sex, when the reality is, practically everyone is engaging in some form of casual sex. Be real about it.

People need to quit being phony, duplicitous and

hypocritical about their sexual desires.

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It’’s amazing the lengths some men and women will go to protect their so-called ““innocent, wholesome, conservative”” image and reputation. Have you by chance seen a film entitled Eyes Wide Shut? This is a movie starring Tom Cruise and his ex-wife Nicole Kidman, and directed by the legendary Stanley Kubrick. Good, good film. One of the subplots of the film involves Cruise’’s character, Dr. Bill Harford, sneaking into a highly exclusive swinging party with a number of wealthy, powerful high society types.

When it is

discovered that Dr. Harford wasn’’t on the official invite list, not only is he forced to leave, but his life literally becomes endangered. Why? Because the folk who attended this kinky party don’’t want any strangers putting their image and reputation at risk. These folk want their ““secret activities,”” which include very unconventional, kinky sex acts, to remain absolutely private. And these are folk with Venetian Carnival masks on (Once you watch Eyes Wide Shut, the sound of that piano playing will haunt you). Real life baby. Even with all sorts of STDs floating around, men and women will always have some degree of desire to engage in premarital sex and casual sex. That is just the nature of the times we live in.

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Questions: 1) If you are a woman reading this, do you often ““pretend”” as if you have no interest in casual sex, when you know deepdown that you love casual sex? If so, do you give men ““theatrical”” reactions to prevent them from perceiving you as an ““easy lay,”” a ““ho,”” or a ““kinky slut?”” 2)

If you are a woman reading this, do you expect to be wined & dined in exchange for letting a woman have sex with you? Do you use your sexual companionship as a means of motivating men to offer you financial favors and employment opportunities?

3) If you are a man reading this, do you frequently flatter women and/or offer women financial favors in an attempt to get them in bed?

4) If you are a man reading this, when you want to have casual sex with a woman, do you let her know in an upfront and straightforward manner? Or do you ““pretend”” as though you are only looking for a long-term monogamous relationship?

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Chapter EIGHT

Timewasters Welcome back ladies. Sorry I had to ignore you in Chapter Seven, but again, there are just really not any males who exhibit the behavior of a Pretender. If a man is interested in having casual sex with a woman, and he knows that a woman he is attracted to is interested in the same thing, that man is not going to pretend not to be interested. On the other hand, men surely know how to pretend to have the same interests as a woman, when they really do not. This is exactly what a Timewaster is. Anytime you meet a man or woman, and that person is initially behaving as though they have the same exact romantic and/or sexual desires and interests as you, but in reality, they have a totally different, underlying agenda …… that is representative of a Timewaster’’s behavior. This is their ““M.O.”” Timewasters are many times mistaken for and confused with Reciprocators because they will almost always respond to you initially in an enthusiastic, friendly, reciprocal manner. The reality is, Timewasters are more similar to a Rejecter. A Pretender is nothing more than the manipulative version of a Reciprocator, and a

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Timewaster is nothing more than the manipulative version of a Rejecter. Pretenders and Timewasters love to play head games. The typical female Timewaster is a woman who temporarily or indefinitely pretends to have some sort of romantic and/or sexual attraction to you, but deep-down, they see you as nothing beyond someone to receive financial favors from, flattering attention from, entertaining companionship from, or if nothing else, simply a listening ear when they want to vent. The most common form of male Timewasters are those men who temporarily or indefinitely pretend as though they have an interest in the same sort of long-term monogamous relationship that you have already expressed an interest in, but in reality, they just want shortterm monogamous sex, short-term non-monogamous sex, or longterm non-monogamous sex. Another variation of a male Timewaster would be a man who indefinitely pretends to behave like your ““play brother”” or ““friendly neighbor or co-worker,”” but in reality, he wants to get in a woman’’s pants. As I mentioned on page 45, this is what I commonly refer to as the art of ““FunClubbing.”” A good friend and fraternity brother of mine created that term when I was in college. He said, ““Alan ……

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make sure you never join a woman’’s ‘‘Fun Club.’’ You will only end up frustrated at the end.”” My friend went on to say that a woman’’s ““Fun Club”” is her stable of male platonic friends who keep her entertained, flatter her ego and give a boost to her confidence and self-esteem when needed, and listen to her vent about ex-boyfriends and ex-lovers who have caused her pain and frustration.

The problem is, all of these ““platonic

friends”” really want to date this woman or have [casual] sex with her. In Chapter Seven, I described the main two types of Pretenders (both female) which are ““Erotic Hypocrites”” and ““Wholesome Pretenders.”” Now I am going to describe the various types of Timewasters. General Types of Women who tend to be Timewasters Attention Whores, Dick Teasers, Exploiters and Users If there is one thing you will very rarely see a man do, it is dress ‘‘sexy’’ or behave in a sexually provocative manner towards a woman just to get flattering attention. Women, trust me on this: If a man exhibits erotic or sexually provocative behavior towards a woman, nine times out of ten, he wants to exchange orgasms with that woman.

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Women are a different breed in this respect. Many women will wear sexy clothes and behave in a flirtatious, sexually provocative manner just to receive flattering attention. Speaking for the vast majority of men, we cannot relate to that. The average man would rather have a blowjob than a flattering compliment any day. I once had a woman tell me that she wanted to be a centerfold selection in Playboy magazine simply so she could feel desired and receive more compliments from men. Again, as a man, I cannot relate to that. Women who use their feminine charms and sex appeal for the primary purpose of receiving flattering attention and compliments are generally known as ““Attention Whores”” and/or ““Dick Teasers.”” Attention Whores and Dick Teasers motivate men to give them attention by giving these men the subtle impression of, ““If you flatter me and give me the type of attention I want, I might just let you sleep with me one day soon……”” And I have a bridge to nowhere to sell you in Alaska. The Governor will approve it. Wink, wink, smirk, smirk. Another variation of a female Timewaster is the ““Exploiter”” and/or ““User.””

These manipulative game players don’’t want flattering

attention or entertaining companionship as much as they want monetary favors, materialistic gifts, employment offers, and other benefits which are more tangible in nature.

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How can you usually distinguish between a [female] Timewaster and a [female] Reciprocator? With a Reciprocator, the woman’’s words and actions will be congruent with one another. There will be no inconsistencies or contradictions between her words, her body language and overall behavior.

With a Timewaster, if you are

observant and perceptive enough, you will quickly see inconsistencies and contradictions between the woman’’s words, body language and overall behavior. These women’’s words will say, ““Yes, I am interested in dating you and having sex with you at some point ……,”” but their actions and behavior will be saying, ““Please don’’t get too close to me. I am not attracted to you at all.”” Some men don’’t mind the behavior of Timewasters. I know men who would rather share the company of a female Timewaster than no woman at all (usually a Mode Three type guy or even a Mode Two type guy). Not a Mode One type guy. A Mode One type guy would rather be indefinitely single and by himself than share the company of a Timewaster on a monthly, weekly, or daily basis. Most erotic strippers are nothing more than paid Timewasters. 90% of all strippers are not going to have sex with you. You pay them to dick tease you. You pay them to show you their sexy side and their

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naked bodies. If you are good with that, cool. As you can sense, I am not the biggest fan of strip clubs. I’’m not into being erotically teased with no chance of exchanging orgasms with that particular woman. General Types of Men who tend to be Timewasters Dogs and Lying Womanizers As mentioned briefly in Chapter Three, there are some guys who are straight-up ““Players.”” A Player is a guy who maintains two, three or more different sex partners, but all of these women have full knowledge that he is having sex with other women. The women are cool with this scenario. There are other men though who want to have multiple sex partners, but because of their profound fear of rejection (Mode Three) and/or fear of harsh criticism (Mode Two), they begin to get into a habit of lying to women, misleading women, and generally manipulating women. These men have yet to grow a real set of balls. These men are typically known as ““Dogs”” and/or ““Lying Womanizers.”” If a Lying Womanizer has three or four different sex partners, you can bet money that each of those women are under the misguided belief that she is this guy’’s only sex partner.

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Dogs and Lying Womanizers don’’t have the cojones to be upfront and straightforwardly honest about their true desire for non-monogamous sex with a multiplicity of female sex partners. Bi-sexual ““Down Low”” men fall into this category too. Lying is commonplace. You see, a Player type knows his popularity is high and his sex skills are above-average, if not exceptional. Therefore, he has no fear of rejection. He knows many women won’’t mind sharing him with other women. I respect a true Player type. He has integrity. Dogs and Lying Womanizers have no character or integrity regarding how they handle women. They tell lies on top of other lies. If a Dog or Lying Womanizer type gets a ‘‘serious girlfriend’’ or wife, there is a 99.999999% chance he is going to cheat on her. Regularly. As a woman, how can you identify a Dog or Lying Womanizer? Simple. Watch how he interacts with other women. Does he flirt a lot in a physical and sexually provocative manner? Is he enthusiastic about taking you out in public and showing you off? Does he always want to just come over to your place or have you come over to his? Dogs and Lying Womanizers do not want to be seen with you in public, unless you are his main girlfriend, fiancée, or wife.

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Some women are cool with being a man’’s mistress, or #2, #3, or #4 sex partner. If that works for you as a woman, more power to you. Playboys and Serial Monogamists There are some men who just want as much sex from women as they can possibly get. Those guys are usually incorrigible womanizers who more so fall into the category of a ““Dog”” and/or ““Lying Womanizer.”” With these guys, it’’s all about pure quantity of women. Then there are other guys who put more emphasis on the quality of women they are having sex with rather than the quantity. This is when you run into your Playboys and Serial Monogamists. These men qualify for the title of ““Timewaster”” because usually, they are looking for short-term sex from women who would much prefer to be involved in a long-term monogamous relationship that is going to ultimately lead to marriage.

These men rarely flat-out lie to

women, but their behavior and actions are definitely misleading, to say the least. With a Playboy or Serial Monogamist, they are not looking to bed as many women as possible in a short period of time. These men go after women who are attractive and well-groomed; women who carry

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themselves in a classy manner; women who are generally intelligent and probably college educated; and many times, women who enjoy a high degree of career success and financial stability. To their credit, these guys are not looking to just abuse women and treat them like shallow sex objects. Men in this category are not looking for a one-night stand or a weekend fling.

They want a

monogamous sexual relationship with each woman they pursue. The problem is, they desire a relationship that is usually not as long as the type of relationship the women who they are pursuing desires. For example, you might have ““Peter”” who is looking to have monogamous sex with ““Dayna”” for anywhere from six weeks to six months; Dayna on the other hand wants a long-term monogamous relationship that will potentially result in her and Peter getting married. Peter is not trying to put a ring on Dayna’’s finger. The upside for most women who deal with men in this category is that these men will be romantic, attentive, caring, and respectful. These men will not be running around with five other different women on the side. These men genuinely enjoy your company. The issue if simply a matter of ““for how long?”” Plain and simply, Playboys and Serial Monogamists really don’’t want to be married.

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These men do not want to be ‘‘tied down’’ to one woman for a long number of years. They want the freedom to meet and date a number of different women over the years of their adult life. Legendary feature-film actor Warren Beatty is an example of a man who was known for years (if not decades) in Hollywood as a Serial Monogamist. Women rarely, if ever, categorized Beatty as a ““Dog”” or a ““Lying Womanizer,”” because that wasn’’t really his M.O. Beatty would treat women with the highest degree of love, respect and discretion. He just wouldn’’t propose marriage to these women. Finally, Annette Bening got him to propose.

And the Serial

Monogamist finally settled down (I’’m a huge Warren Beatty fan). If you are a woman, and you are specifically looking to get married, the men in this category are going to disappoint you, if not flat-out crush your heart. Your best bet is not to have sex with these men until they put a ring on your finger. I realize that is easier said than done for many women, but that is pretty much the only way of protecting yourself from the emotional frustration of a short lived romantic relationship. The first sign that a man is a Playboy or Serial Monogamist relates to my advice in the paragraph above. These men will not hold out too

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long for sex. If you make a Serial Monogamist wait a couple of weeks, or even a month or so, no problem.

You make a Serial

Monogamist wait three months, six months, nine months or longer …… nine times out of ten, he is history. He is then on to the next woman. FunClubbers, Mode Three Targets, and Weasels Have you ever heard the term or phrase, ““that guy is trying to weasel his way into that woman’’s pants!””? A man who is a Weasel uses probably the oldest manipulative trick in the book: Attempting to have sex with a woman by pretending that he is doing everything but trying to have sex with a woman. This is also what men who are ““Mode Three Targets”” (defined in my Mode One book) and FunClubbers do.

Their objective is to

indefinitely pretend to be content with a non-physical, non-sexual relationship …… or ““friendship”” …… while they hold out hoping for that one day when the woman might be vulnerable and/or horny. Of the three categories of male Timewasters …… Dogs/Lying Womanizers, Playboys/Serial Monogamists, and FunClubbers/Mode Three Targets/Weasels, I would have to say I have met more men who fall into the latter category than any of the other two.

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I just told a high school classmate of mine this recently. I told her that there are many men who will pretend to be ““just friends”” with a woman for two years, three years, five years, seven years, even ten or more years just to patiently wait for one opportunity to get in that woman’’s pants. These guys literally want just one opportunity to exchange orgasms with a woman of interest. Now that is patience. A woman who is an Attention Whore or Dick Teaser will love interacting with a man who is a FunClubber or Weasel. A woman who is an Exploiter or User will love interacting with a man who is a Mode Three Target (when you really think about it, most of the male and female manipulative game players tend to match up well with one another …… Erotic Hypocrites with Playboys/Serial Monogamists; Wholesome Pretenders with Dogs/Lying Womanizers; and of course, the aforementioned match-ups). The major strength, of course, of men in this category is their indefinite sense of patience.

Men who are Dogs and Lying

Womanizers usually cannot wait too long before making attempts to have sex with a woman.

Men who are Playboys and Serial

Monogamists typically have more patience than the average Dog or Lying Womanizer, but they do not have as much patience as the average FunClubber, Mode Three Target or Weasel.

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The FunClubber is the guy who is willing to be a woman’’s ““play brother”” indefinitely. This man is almost like a woman’’s ““platonic boyfriend.”” He will go to the movies with a woman, talk on the phone regularly with her, go grocery shopping with her, go to parties and social events with her, all of that. Some women might say, ““Alan, that simply sounds like a good, well-intentioned platonic male friend to me!!”” Close. The big difference between a FunClubber and a genuine platonic male friend is his suppressed romantic and/or sexual desires and interests. A true male friend has no hidden agenda. If a man was a genuine platonic friend, then even if his female friend offered him sex, he wouldn’’t take it. He would refuse any invitation for sexual interplay. A FunClubber would jump at the chance to have sex if a woman offered him the opportunity, but he would never boldly ask her for sexual companionship. That would put him at risk of being harshly criticized and/or rejected. No balls for that. The Weasel is similar to the FunClubber, but he is a wee bit more calculating and far more disingenuous. The Weasel doesn’’t simply wait around with his fingers crossed.

The Weasel usually has a

strategic plan to get in between a woman’’s legs.

He plans the

opportunity for sex in the same manner that an event planner takes step-by-step actions in preparation for that one big event on his or her calendar.

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The Weasel’’s plan might be to get the woman drunk one night, and then take advantage of her, or it might be to pop a porno DVD in her DVD player when she is not looking. It might even be as extreme as drugging her with an Ecstasy pill. Side Note: In 2007 I had a group of older church-going women encourage me to go on a high school and college tour to tell young men ages fifteen to twenty-two or twenty-three to have the balls to exhibit Mode One Behavior and risk being rejected then to get girls sloppy drunk and/or put Ecstasy pills in their drinks in an attempt to date rape the girls without their consent. I think such behavior by any man is shameful and deplorable. I can’’t tell you what I would do if I found out a young man drugged a daughter of mine in his cowardly attempt to have sex with her. The Mode Three Target is also similar to a FunClubber, with the only difference being that he will dish out more money, more financial favors, and more materialistic gifts than a FunClubber will. The Mode Three Target will do a lot of wining and dining of women …… he will buy them inexpensive and even many times expensive gifts …… he will help the women with bills and living expenses …… pay for trips …… but the whole time, he will pretend like he’’s just being ““nice”” and generous with no strings attached. Yeah …… RIGHT.

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Men who are Mode Three Targets are dreadfully afraid of being rejected, ignored or feeling lonely.

They always want female

companionship. I have met some men who literally cannot go more than two or three days without female companionship, even if the companionship is not romantic, physical, or sexual. If you are a woman, and you suspect a man of being a FunClubber, Mode Three Target, or Weasel type, the best thing to do is simply to ask him straightforwardly, ““Do you want to have sex with me? Sometimes, I get the feeling you want to have sex with me, and I just want to clarify things between us.”” See what his response is. If you are a woman with manipulative tendencies, you will never, ever ask that question. Never. If you are a non-manipulative woman, it would be to your benefit to ask that question to eliminate potential ““drama”” later on down the line. Timewasters, in the long-run, can cause you more anger, frustration, bitterness, and emotional pain than a Rejecter or Pretender ever will. Men do not like to waste time and/or money and not have it lead to anything beneficial or satisfying. Women do not like to have their emotions toyed with and have their hearts broken. Women look to avoid wasteful emotional investments in the same way men look to avoid wasteful financial investments.

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How much Timewasters affect you depends a lot on your age. When you are young (teenage years, your twenties, early-to-mid thirties), you do not value time as much as you do when you are thirty-five and older.

When I was nineteen or twenty, I actually didn’’t mind

‘‘wasting time’’ with women because I really didn’’t see it as that big of a deal. When I reached my early-to-mid thirties, I began to absolutely hate wasting time with women who didn’’t share the same romantic and/or sexual interests as me. I will take a Rejecter over a Timewaster any day. This is why I tell men all of the time: Don’’t trip out over rejection. Rejection is necessary and inevitable.

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Questions: 1) If you are a woman, do you like to have men think about you in a sexual manner just so you can get them to flatter you and/or provide you with entertaining companionship? 2) Similar to Question #1, do you hold the opportunity for sex with you as a ““carrot on a stick”” to men to motivate them to provide you with financial favors, materialistic gifts, and employment opportunities?

3) If you are a man, do you often pretend to be interested in monogamous sex when you deep-down that you really want non-monogamous sex? Do you pretend to be interested in a long-term relationship when you really want a relationship that will last no more than a few weeks or a few months?

4) If you are a man, do you often pretend to be content with a ““platonic”” friendship with a woman when you know good and well that you want something romantic and/or sexual with your ““good female friend?”” Why do you do this?

5) When you felt like your time was wasted, did you feel angry?

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Chapter NINE

Are You REALLY Tired of Manipulative Head Games? I hear a lot of men and women say, ““I am so tired of games,”” but I am very skeptical towards many when I hear them say this. I believe many men and women love to engage in head games with members of the opposite sex mainly because they are very, very good at it. If you read Mode One, you know that I feel there are two primary factors that motivate manipulative game playing: 1) Fear and 2) Spoiled Egos. When you are afraid of being rejected, being ignored, and/or being harshly criticized, this is when you tend to employ manipulative tactics to get what you want. Secondly, when you are so spoiled and used to getting your way that you can’’t fathom not having your way, you tend to become manipulative. I don’’t think your love life, sex life and/or social life will ever truly be enjoyable and satisfying as long as you are allowing men or women to mislead you and manipulate you. Remember: No one can truly manipulate you unless you’’re trying to manipulate them. If you’’re not trying to mislead and manipulate others, then the only other way you can be manipulated is if you are just really, really naïve. 111

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It cracks me up to hear manipulative game players always use the defense, ““Don’’t judge me!!”” when you call them out on their manipulative tactics and tendencies. A friend and I were just talking about this.

That comment is without question the #1 patented

response to accusations of being manipulative. ““Don’’t judge me!!”” Yes, I am going to judge you. Not by my standards, not by GOD’’s standards or biblical standards, not by your mother or father’’s standards, but more so by your own standards. I believe one of the first things you should do when you start interacting with a man or woman who you are attracted to is to find out what are their standards and principles for their own behavior, and what are their general expectations for those they plan on dating or having [casual] sex with. For example . . . •• What are your thoughts on monogamy versus non-monogamy? •• How much do you value honesty in a relationship? •• What role does sex play in your level of happiness in a relationship? •• What role does money and financial security play in your level of happiness in a relationship? •• Has anyone ever betrayed your trust, and if so, how did that make you feel? Have you ever betrayed someone else’’s trust, and if so, did you feel regretful later on?

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It’’s been said that if you want the right answers, you have to ask the right questions.

There are a number of questions you can ask a

potential boyfriend, girlfriend or [casual sex] lover, but the questions I listed are fundamental and much needed to establish what that person’’s standards are for their own behavior. Then, when they violate their own standards, you can say to them, ““I’’m judging you by the standards you set for yourself.”” It is very rare when I pass judgment on other people’’s dating and sex habits based on my own personal, opinionated standards. If you are a man who is bi-sexual ... I don’’t care. Just be upfront and straightforward with the women you date and have sex with. If you are into polyamorous dating and maintaining a multiplicity of sex partners …… that is on you. Just be upfront and straightforward with the men and women you date and choose to have sex with. My thing is, whatever your romantic and/or sexual desires are, just have the cojones to be upfront and straightforward about them. It is funny how some men and women will stop engaging in manipulative head games when their tools for manipulation begin to diminish. If a woman’’s primary manipulative tool was her looks and sex appeal, as soon as she becomes old, fat, and unattractive, all of the sudden you will hear the former master manipulator say, ““I hate

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games.”” Same with a man who used to have a high degree of career success, wealth and material possessions. Now that he’’s unemployed, damn near broke, and no materialistic ‘‘toys’’ to brag about, all of the sudden he says, ““I hate women who play games.”” Too funny. Developing an interpersonal communication style that is upfront and straightforward is not easy. It takes work and practice. Repetition, repetition, repetition. If it were easy, everyone would communicate in an upfront and straightforward manner with one another. ““I have no interest in dating that man, but I don’’t have the heart to tell him. Maybe I will just ignore his Email messages and phone calls.”” So …… you’’re scared of hurting the guy’’s feelings huh? Well, let’’s see here. You think blatantly not returning his phone calls gives his ego and feelings a boost? You believe that simply not responding to his Email messages makes him feel good about himself? ““The woman I met is not really my type for marriage or long-term dating. I just want to have a few days or a few weeks of casual sex with her. If I tell her that though, it will make me look shallow.”” So, you don’’t have the balls to tell the woman upfront that you just want to exchange orgasms with her huh? Well, let’’s see here. You believe that misleading a woman into believing that you genuinely care for her and sincerely enjoy spending time with her, when in reality you

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only want to experience the joy of shooting out baby batter, is the best way to go? Think about that for a moment. I mean, really. No one reading this book would want a man toying with their mother’’s feelings, or taking advantage of their beloved father’’s financial generosity. Why then would YOU want to mislead others? Always invite people to be straightforwardly honest with you. Even if what they say is not what your ego wants to hear. When you attach negative connotations and/or consequences to straightforward honesty, most people will resort back to lying and manipulation. I’’m particularly talking to the women. If a man approaches you, and lets you know that all he wants to do is have a one-night stand or a weekend fling, don’’t pass judgment on his desires simply because they are not in line with yours. Simply say, ““Casual sex is not my cup of tea, but I appreciate your honesty.”” If you get ““theatrical”” with this guy, he is going to return to lying and manipulation (if you are manipulative yourself, you really don’’t care). In the next chapter, I will answer some common questions associated with Mode One Behavior.

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Questions: 1) How have engaging in manipulative head games benefited you as a man or a woman? Do you have any motivation to stop engaging in manipulative head games? 2) Do you see anything wrong with manipulative head games?

3) When you meet a man or woman you want to date or have casual sex with, what are some of the questions you ask your potential companions and potential lovers? What are some of the questions that they ask you? questions honestly? If not, why?

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Chapter TEN

Frequently Asked Questions When I’’m on many blogs, message boards, and discussion forums, such as AskMen.com and Direct-Method.com, I’’m asked a number of questions from both men and women, as well those who have already read Mode One and those who have not. In this chapter, I will attempt to answer most of the more common questions I receive. ““Isn’’t Mode One just another get-laid-quick scheme for men who perceive themselves as ‘‘losers’’ to suddenly get a few women in bed so they can feel like successful womanizers?”” My reply: I’’ve never thought of the Mode One mindset as a ‘‘method’’ or ‘‘technique’’ for the sole and specific purpose of seducing women and getting laid. Matter of fact, I tell men all of the time …… if your only reason for wanting to exhibit Mode One Behavior with women is to become an ‘‘overnight womanizer,’’ then nine times out of ten, you are going to feel disappointed and frustrated in the long-run. If I had to use a baseball analogy, Mode One is about teaching a potential home run hitter how to get over his fear of striking out. All home run hitters have a high degree of strike outs. It’’s just part of the

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game. Same with approaching, attracting and seducing women. You will never be successful with women if you are dreadfully afraid of being rejected and/or harshly criticized. Being upfront and straightforward with the opposite sex is not a ‘‘scheme.’’ It is a lifestyle and a constant mindset you must maintain. ““If being Mode One with women is all about straightforward honesty, then how come I can’’t just walk up to a woman I don’’t know and say ‘‘I want you to give me a blowjob!’’ Wouldn’’t that be representative of straightforward honesty if that is what I’’m REALLY thinking?”” My reply: This is what I tell men when I’’m asked questions similar to this one: You can say ANYTHING you want to a woman as long as you are prepared to accept the potential consequences and/or repercussions of what you say. In other words, there is a fine line difference between being bold, self-assured, upfront and unapologetically straightforward …… and being stupid and foolish. You have to be experienced enough to know where that line is. Think before you speak.

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Trust me …… I have approached women and opened up the conversation with some very bold, XXX-rated, sexually provocative comments …… and 90% of the time, it has worked in my favor …… but the key is, I know how to read women’’s body language and quickly size up what type of woman I’’m dealing with (e.g., self-righteous prude type, kinky freak type, Wholesome Pretender type, etc). If you are a man, you have to spend days, weeks, and months just studying women. This is what I did in my twenties and early thirties. I would literally go to nightclubs and other social venues just to study women’’s nuances, body language and behavioral tendencies. In the long-run, that studying pays off. ““I am very confident about approaching women when they are by themselves, but I am dreadfully afraid to approach women when they are with one, two or three of their girlfriends. Any advice?”” My reply: I don’’t like to approach women when they are in a group unless I absolutely have to. Women will rarely behave in a real, authentic manner when they are with their girlfriends. They will ‘‘play the role.’’ They will exhibit the behavior that their girlfriends have come to expect of them.

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For example, if a woman is a kinky freak behind-closed-doors, but she gives all of her girlfriends the misleading impression that she is a conservative prude type, you’’re going to have a very challenging time getting her to drop that façade in front of her girlfriends. What I do in group situations is find a way to get the woman away from her girlfriends so I can talk to her one-on-one. That usually works much better. ““Cock blocking”” happens a lot in groups. ““Does the Four Modes of Verbal Communication™™ apply to single women as much as it applies to single men?”” My reply: My answer would almost simultaneously be ““yes”” …… and ““no.”” Read my chapter on ““Pretenders.”” There really are no male Pretenders (i.e., men who share the same romantic and/or sexual interests as you, but will pretend not to). There are many male Timewasters (i.e., men who do not share the same desires and interests as you, but will indefinitely pretend to), so Mode One Behavior could be used by a woman to identify those types. Women do not approach men as much as vice versa, so some of the psychology behind the Four Modes of Verbal Communication™™ just would not apply in the exact same manner. I have had many women

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who have wrote me and told me that reading Mode One has helped them understand men a lot more though. That’’s always a plus. ““I always read where you sing the praises of a porno movie entitled ‘‘Talk Dirty To Me,’’ and the lead character ‘‘Jack.’’ What was so special about that movie and that character? Aren’’t all adult films generally the same? Sex, sex and more sex?”” My reply: Talk Dirty To Me starring adult film legend John Leslie as ““Jack”” was the very first impetus for the development of the Four Modes of Verbal Communication™™. For starters, I never knew what a ““Wholesome Pretender”” was before I saw that film. Watching that film was when I first really learned about women’’s sexual duplicity (i.e., a woman pretending to be ‘‘innocent’’ and ‘‘wholesome’’ when in reality, she is erotically uninhibited and/or into non-monogamous sex). Secondly, the character of Jack taught me how to ignore harsh, subjective criticisms and opinionated insults. Even if you take the explicit sex scenes out of Talk Dirty To Me and the sequel, Talk Dirty To Me, Part II …… and converted those movies from XXX-rated to R-rated, they would still be great movies and very educational to watch.

Those movies could easily be re-named

““Wholesome Pretenders, Part 1”” and ““Wholesome Pretenders, Part

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2.””

I actually plan on filming a DVD entitled ““Pretenders and

Timewasters”” sometime soon. I will keep my book readers posted. ““Why do you emphasize identifying manipulators so much? Why isn’’t your book more about attraction and seduction techniques than manipulation between the sexes?”” My reply: The ability to attract and seduce the opposite sex varies from man to man and from woman to woman. Therefore, I don’’t really put too much emphasis on ““Dating 101”” guidelines or ““Seduction 101”” tips, tricks and techniques. It is doubtful that the same principles that help Black men attract Black women would also help Caucasian men attract Caucasian women or Asian men attract Asian women. It is doubtful that the principles that would help an eighteen or nineteen year-old college fraternity guy would be the same principles that would help a bluecollar factory worker who is between forty-five and fifty-nine. A lot of helpful, valid dating and seduction advice really depends to a large degree on how old you are, what your physical appearance is like, your level of intelligence and education, your level of career success and financial success, how good you are in bed, etc.

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Many so-called ““experts”” and ““gurus”” will have you foolishly believing that dating advice is ““one philosophy fits all.”” That is so untrue. My ability to attract and seduce women in their thirties was totally different than my ability to attract and seduce women between the ages of seventeen and twenty-four. Manipulation on the other hand is, for the most part, universal. I don’’t care if you are nineteen, twenty-nine, thirty-nine or forty-nine, you can relate equally to the concept of manipulative head games. ““Why do so many women pretend to be only into monogamous sex when they are really into non-monogamous casual sex?”” My reply: Plain and simply, most women are dreadfully afraid of being labeled a ‘‘slut,’’ a ‘‘whore,’’ an ‘‘easy lay’’ or a ‘‘super freak.’’ Women value their sense of virtue in the same way that most men value their sense of manhood and machismo. Women love sex as much or more than most men do, but they love the idea of maintaining a good reputation that is beyond reproach even more. Women are especially this way if they are looking to get married and/or have children. The reality of life is women who are kinky and/or promiscuous often times get married just as frequently as the so-called ““good girls.””

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““Why do men cheat and commit adultery so much? Why can’’t men just find a good woman and remain faithful to her?”” My reply: It is my belief that very few men are truly motivated to maintain a monogamous sexual relationship with one woman for the rest of their lives …… particularly if they are handsome, charming, wealthy, and/or have a number of attractive, sexy women throwing themselves at them. All of us are guided primarily by four factors: Our desires and impulses, our fears and insecurities, our morals, values and principles, and our past experiences. If a man has a desire to have sex with a wide variety of women, the only thing that is going to stop him from acting on that desire or impulse is a) some sort of fear or insecurity (e.g., the fear of losing his wife and family; the insecurity that he is not really good in bed); b) his morals, values and/or principles (e.g., devout Christian, Doesn’’t believe in betraying the trust of others, etc); or c) a bad past experience (e.g., one of his former girlfriends cheated on him and it was emotionally painful for him). If none of those factors come into play, then a man is left with nothing but his desires and impulses. This is what happens with mentally ill people such as serial killers. Serial killers operate on their desires and impulses.

Their fears and insecurities are

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diminished, they virtually have no morals, values and principles, and their past experiences usually involve trauma, abuse, or profound disrespect and ill treatment. You have to be fair and objective though. Women cheat on their boyfriends, fiancés, and husbands just as much as men cheat on their girlfriends, fiancées, and wives.

Many men and women …… you

guessed it …… PRETEND …… to be interested in a monogamous relationship when in actuality, they enjoy non-monogamy. ““What is so wrong with a man being a ‘‘nice guy’’ or a ‘‘gentleman?’’ Why do you have to be an ‘‘asshole’’ or a ‘‘jerk’’ in order to attract women?”” My reply: The main problem with men who try to be ““Mr. Nice Guy”” types is that they make the frequent mistake of putting women on pedestals, and trying too hard to prevent and/or avoid negative reactions and harsh criticisms. Read page 51 in Mode One. A ‘‘gentleman’’ in my book is someone who has respect for women, and is just the opposite of a misogynist. To be a ‘‘gentleman’’ though is not necessarily synonymous with being a ‘‘nice guy.’’ The movie character of James Bond is a ‘‘gentleman,’’ but he is still smooth, debonair and an incorrigible womanizer.

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““If I want to have a threesome with a woman I know and her best friend, should I just ask her? Or is that too forward or too bold?”” My reply: What can she do …… kill you? Ask. The worst she can say is, ““Have you lost your fu**in’’ mind?!?””

No, I’’m kidding.

Obviously, you did not see the Woody Allen romantic comedy, Vicky Cristina Barcelona. In that delightful film (actress Penélope Cruz won an Academy Award for her role in this movie), the character of Juan Antonio Gonzalo (Javier Bardem being Mode One) did just that. He let two women who were good friends (Vicky and Cristina) know that he wanted to have a threesome with them. A desire is a desire. ““I am a woman who is looking for a man who is financially secure who I don’’t have to take care of. Some men mistake me for a gold digger. I’’m not looking for any man to take care of me …… I just don’’t want to play ‘‘sugar mama’’ to them. How do I prevent men from mistaking me for a common gold digger?”” My reply: If you are a woman who has a successful career and earning a high five-figure salary or six-figure salary, there is nothing wrong with you looking for a romantic companion who is ““on your level.”” If that means some men will refer to you as a ‘‘gold digger,’’ so be it. Never allow other peoples perceptions of you and/or opinionated labels dictate how you behave towards others.

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““Alan, you say that rejection is not that big of a deal, but what if you are a man who has not had a date in three or four years? What if your options for female companionships are limited? Isn’’t it then harder to deal with rejection? My reply: If you are a man who has not socially interacted with a woman in over two or three years, then you need to really ask yourself why is that the case. Do you have personal hygiene problems? Are you obese? Are your social skills just really, really horrible? Take an assessment of what you have to offer to women, and what areas of your life might warrant improvement. If you need to improve your physical appearance, change your diet and your exercise habits. If you need to improve your social skills, then involve yourself in some personal development and selfimprovement seminars. If you need to move to a new city, state, and/or country to meet more women …… do it! You only live once. Don’’t engage in ““self-pity parties.”” Rejection by one woman simply brings you closer to the women you are supposed to be interacting with. Build a strategy for yourself and act on it.

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Chapter ELEVEN

One Game You CAN Play with Members of the Opposite Sex I’’ll call this ““The Mode One Game.”” The purpose is to help [single] men improve their interpersonal communication skills, their sense of self-confidence, and their ability to read a woman’’s body language. The game requires at least one single man (there can be more than one involved), and preferably a minimum of four [single] women. If necessary, it could be switched around (one or more women with four or more men), but it is mainly designed to help the [single] men. The only props you need are index cards, a pen or pencil, and a timer or stopwatch. The game will work the best if you have at least four different rooms in a house to work with. You can even put a little ““monetary wager”” on this game to make it more interesting. Here is how the game will unfold: The four or more women will go into a room by themselves and decide what woman will play what ““role.””

The man (or men)

involved in the game cannot have any prior knowledge of what

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woman is going to play what role. Here are the roles (should have enough women to play no less than four of these roles): 1) Woman #1 is interested in a long-term monogamous relationship that will ultimately lead to marriage.

Her

behavior will be pretty straightforward with the man (or men) involved with the game. 2) Woman #2 prefers a long-term monogamous relationship that will ultimately lead to marriage, but she is willing to settle for a long-term non-monogamous relationship that is full of enjoyable and satisfying sex. Woman #2 will never reveal her true desires and interests straightforwardly.

3) Woman #3 prefers a long-term monogamous relationship that will ultimately lead to marriage, but she is willing to settle for a short-term relationship as long as it is monogamous. Woman #3 will never reveal her true desires and interests straightforwardly.

4) Woman #4 prefers a long-term monogamous relationship that will ultimately lead to marriage, but she is willing to settle for a weekend fling or a few weeks of enjoyable,

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satisfying casual sex. Woman #4 will never reveal her true desires and interests straightforwardly.

5) Woman #5 (optional) prefers a long-term monogamous relationship that will ultimately lead to marriage, but she is willing engage in any kinky sex act that a man can persuade her to engage in.

Woman #5 will never reveal her true

desires and interests straightforwardly.

6) Woman #6 (optional) has no interest in the man (or men) playing the game, but she wants to see if she can get him to offer her a free lunch, a free dinner, a free movie or some other financial-related favor. Woman #6 is going to do her best to pretend like she’’s interested in having a long-term monogamous relationship with the man (or men) involved in the game for as long as possible.

7) Woman #7 (optional) has no interest in the man (or men) playing the game, but she wants to see if she can get that man to engage her in a lengthy, entertaining conversation that centers on mutual interests and past experiences. Woman #7 is going to do her best to pretend like she’’s interested in

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having a long-term monogamous relationship with the man (or men) involved in the game for as long as possible. Once all of the women involved with the game are set, you need to put each woman in a different room. Or at minimum, you need to put the man in one room, and rotate the different women into the room. The objective of each woman: With the exception of Woman #1, the objective of each woman is to avoid revealing what your true underlying desire and interest is. Secondly, your objective is to engage this man (or men) into as long of a conversation as possible. The objective of the man (or men): The man will have anywhere from a minimum of forty-five (45) minutes to talk to each of the women, with an absolute maximum of seventy-five (75) minutes of conversation. Someone will have to have a timer or stopwatch. If the man correctly identifies what woman is Woman #1, what woman is Woman #2, what woman is Woman #3 and so on, he ““wins”” the game. If at least two or more of his guesses are incorrect, the women win the game. I’’ve done a variation of this game with women, and the women ended up enjoying it almost more than I did.

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Again, regardless of who really wins the game, the true objective is to get a better sense of your strengths and weaknesses in your interpersonal communication skills with women, and learning how to use your time more efficiently when socializing with women. Honestly, I don’’t know if the game would be as fun with one or two women and four-to-seven men, but you can try. Just change up the roles based on my definitions of Reciprocators, Rejecters, and various types of Timewasters. If you are man, invite some [single] females you know to try this game out if they have the free time to do so. You could have three of your male friends and about four-to-seven women. I guarantee you that you will enjoy yourself! Then mix up the women and the roles and do it all over again. Have fun . . .

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Chapter TWELVE

Upfront and Straightforward Imagine if a certain percentage of airplane pilots were pretending to be pilots, when it actuality, they were bus drivers. If you had prior knowledge to this phenomenon before boarding a plane, would you feel comfortable knowing your pilot could be a fake? Imagine if a certain percentage of physicians were pretending to be physicians, when in actuality, they were veterinarians. If you had prior knowledge of this widespread fraud before being admitted into a hospital, would you feel comfortable knowing your physician could be a doctor who specializes in animals? Imagine if a certain percentage of automotive mechanics were pretending to be auto mechanics, when in actuality they were computer information technology professionals.

If you had prior

knowledge of this prior to taking your car to the shop for a tune-up and some repairs, would you feel comfortable driving your car afterwards? If very few of us would feel comfortable sitting on a plane with a suspect pilot, going into surgery with a suspect doctor or driving a car

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that had been worked on by a suspect mechanic, why should we feel comfortable having intimate sexual relations with someone who might not be who he or she claims to be? If a man thinks he married an erotically conservative, very prudish ““good girl,”” only later to find out that his wife is a promiscuous whore who has had sex with all of his friends, co-workers and neighbors, do you think he is going to have an easy time getting over being duped? Doubtful. That mutha fu**a might just go out and shoot somebody just for the hell of it. If a woman thinks she married a good Christian man with good Christian values, only to find out later that he is a pathological liar and a bi-sexual ““down low”” husband who solicits other men for unprotected sex, do you think she will just forgive him quickly? She might just take a knife and cut his testicles off. You cannot go around thinking you can play with people’’s emotions and ego, and that no consequences and/or repercussions are going to come of it. Karma is a bitch. I’’m not preaching, I’’m just being as real with my knowledge, wisdom and advice as I know how to be. If you are into casual sex with multiple partners, then you need to be hooking up with men or women who are into the same thing. If you

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are into crack cocaine, then you need to hook up with members of the opposite sex who are into crack cocaine as well. The HIV / AIDS virus has not had nearly the negative effect on the dating and relationships arena as frequent lies, deception and manipulative head games have. All of this ““pretending”” has made some men and women bitter and vindictive, others cynical and wary, and even others mentally ill and emotionally stressed. Only cowards need to lie about their true desires, interests and intentions. Only those with absolutely no values or principles need to go around misleading people and manipulating people for self-serving motivations. It is time to wake up people. Forget about the pain and frustration you might be causing others …… what about you? If you are busy lying to folk, how do you know you are not dealing with someone more deceptive and manipulative than yourself? You think you are playing her, and in reality, she is playing you. Remember: Manipulation is always a two-way street. When you do right by people, men and women tend to remember you as someone who had a profound impact on their life. When you constantly do wrong by people, you will ultimately lead a lonely and frustrating life. It all catches up to you in the end.

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Don’’t ever think for a moment that reading a dating and relationships book is somehow ““trivial.”” No sir, no mam. Most of us, if not all of us, want someone to spend time with in a romantic and/or sexual manner. Trust me on this. Companionship is always desired. The desire to hug, kiss and exchange orgasms is just as natural as the desire to sleep, eat food, and drink water or other thirst-quenching liquids. Never allow someone to make you feel guilty for having erotic desires, even if they are ““kinky”” or unconventional. As long as you are not a thirty-five year old man trying to have sex with a thirteen or fourteen year old girl, I have no problems with you. As long as you are not a woman having sex with your neighbor’’s Rottweiler, I have no moral judgments against you. Kinkiness is highly subjective. My ““kinky”” could be your ““normal”” and vice versa. As long as what you are doing in the bedroom (or outside the bedroom) is not illegal, an invasion of someone’’s physical space, and you are not deceiving them or misleading them in any sort of way, you are good in my book. Live out your lustful desires. I say, drinks for all of the women …… and blowjobs for all of the men. Okay, maybe not that drunk, fat stinky mutha fu**a over there in the corner talking to himself.

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If you are looking for marriage and ““Mr. Right”” or ““Ms. Right,”” don’’t try to rush into anything. Take your time. Ask good, straightforward questions. Find out about this person’’s desires, fears, morals, values, principles and past relationship experiences.

Finding out key

information is representative of ““old school”” dating and will do nothing but help you in the long run. If you are looking for just a one-night stand, weekend fling or other variation of casual sex …… have the cojones to be bold, upfront and straightforward in letting a woman know that. Same goes for the women. In the long-run, you will feel better about yourself and your sense of character and integrity.

You will be surprised at the

responses you receive. People come down hard on adult film actors and actresses. Some say porno stars are the scum of the earth. Not hardly. Adult film stars put it all out there.

They are not sexually duplicitous and erotically

hypocritical like over half of the men and women walking around in society ““playing innocent.”” I respect anyone who puts their sexuality out there for all to see. Who cares what YOU think about MY sex life. As far as I know, I am the only one being buried in the coffin. I hope the contents of these pages help you improve your love life, sex life and overall social life. Everyone deserves to be happy.

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Appendix

I Found Mr. / Ms. Right!! Now What? Many men say to me, ““Hey Alan …… Mode One Behavior helped me identify and eliminate manipulative head games …… I found the woman I want to spend a lot of time with …… but now, do I return to Mode Two Behavior?”” My own brother asked me one time how I felt the Four Modes of Verbal Communication™™ fit into the structure and day-to-day interactions between a boyfriend and girlfriend, an engaged couple, and/or a husband and wife. Expressing

yourself

in

a

highly

self-assured,

upfront

and

straightforwardly honest manner becomes even more important within the context of a long-term relationship.

Once you start

suppressing your real feelings with your romantic companion, your relationship is doomed. Who could ever maintain an enjoyable, successful relationship if there are ‘‘skeletons in the closet’’ (i.e., closely guarded secrets) and/or pent-up frustrations and camouflaged resentment and bitterness?

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One thing Yours Truly cannot do is have a ““relationship of convenience.”” What is the point? I have had many women make comments to me such as, ““I knew the day I married my ex-husband that I did not truly love him.”” Then why in the hell did you marry him? ““I knew within a week after I married my wife that I wasn’’t going to stop seeing other women . . .”” Then why would you pretend to be enthusiastic about monogamy? Makes no sense to me. No one in life ““forces”” you to enter into any romantic relationship. There was a time decades ago when you had the infamous ““shotgun wedding”” if you accidently got a woman pregnant and her father wanted you to ‘‘make an honest woman out of her,’’ but that out-ofdate scenario aside, why would anyone ever into a long-term relationship under the pretense of monogamy if you know deep-down that is not what you want?

Fear + Spoiled Ego = Desire to

Manipulate. I had an ex-girlfriend of mine confess to me that the main reason she married her now husband was for financial security. It would be different if this guy was a self-made millionaire with a revenue stream that was never going to stop. Then, I might halfway give her a pass. Her husband is a 9-to-5 hard-working man like any other guy in society. He could lose his job any day of any week. Then where would her ‘‘financial security’’ come from?

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Knowing what role you play in a relationship also helps. Why are good football teams successful?

Because you have specifically

defined roles. You don’’t have three quarterbacks on the field at the same time. You don’’t have running backs trying to play the role of the offensive linemen and wide receivers delivering the ball to the quarterback at the center position. Team players know their role. The United States of America does not have two Presidents, nor does any major city have two Mayors or any state in this country have two Governors. In government, the power to make important decisions usually comes from one person. It cracks me up when I hear women say, ““Why does my husband have to be in charge?

Why can’’t we both be in charge of the

relationship?”” Because that relationship will never work. Either the man needs to be in charge, or if he’’s willing to defer to his wife, then let her run the relationship. But this notion of ““I have 50% of the decision-making power and my spouse has 50% of the decisionmaking power in the relationship”” is crap. Someone has to captain the ship. Two people can both have power in different areas, but ultimately, there has to be one final decision-maker. Know your role. Be hard line against manipulative behavior by your spouse or loved one that goes against your morals, values and

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principles. Write down on paper whose role it is to spend most of the weekday evenings with the kid, whose role it is to pay most of the bills, whose role it is to keep what room of the house clean, and so on and so on. You know what’’s funny?

People always criticize men who are

““pimps”” and the relationship they have with their ““whores.”” They say that this sort of relationship between a man and a woman is chauvinistic, sexist, shallow, misogynistic and disrespectful to women. What boggles my mind is, if the relationship is so bad …… why does the typical pimp have more than his share of women? The pimp knows his role. The whore knows her role. And you know what? The relationship works. I’’m not saying I’’m the biggest fan of the ““pimp-whore”” relationship, but I’’m just pointing out that when you know your role in a relationship, it works. That’’s why sometimes a married man can have a long-lasting relationship with a mistress that will almost seem better than the relationship that married man has with his wife. Now before you have a hissy fit, I am not condoning adultery. Not in any way, shape or form. I think adultery is a cowardly act of infidelity.

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The reality is the married man knows his role and so does his mistress.

Some husbands and wives do not know their roles.

FOR A RELATIONSHIP TO LAST INDEFINITELY, YOU MUST HAVE SPECIFICALLY DEFINED ROLES IN THAT RELATIONSHIP. Be brutally honest with your partner to the point of possibly hurting their feelings or bruising their ego. The pain is usually short-lived, and will go away soon. The pain of being lied to or mislead last for a long, long, long time. Trust me on that. I hear people say, ““I believe compromise is the #1 factor that contributes to a great relationship.”” More invalid crap. I am not compromising my desires for any woman. Instead of compromising, what you need to do is find someone with the many of the same interests as yourself. That works better than compromising. I love chicken wings. I mean, I really, really love chicken wings (chicken wings are like the food equivalent to crack cocaine for me). Now, if I met a woman who said, ““Alan …… I want you to eat chicken wings ever other Friday, and we’’re going to eat fish or lasagna on the other Fridays,”” I would be showing that woman the exit door.

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I’’m going to eat my doggone chicken wings when I want to. I’’m not changing or modifying my behavior to please, impress or accommodate any woman.

All that does is lead to suppressed

bitterness and resentment towards a woman later on. I see this sort of scenario play out in long-term relationships all of the time. Let’’s break down the Four Modes of Verbal Communication™™ in this manner for long-term relationships: Mode One attitude: My Romantic Partner and I share a lot of the same interests, and we tolerate the differences between us. Mode Two attitude: My Romantic Partner and I sacrifice many of our interests in order to please each other, and we compromise on our differences. Mode Three attitude: I am my partner’’s ““bitch.”” Everything they say goes. I don’’t have a say in the relationship. I just do whatever I am told. Even if I don’’t like it. Mode Four attitude: I can’’t stand the sight of my romantic partner. I have no idea why I am still with this mutha fu**a. He/She gets on my last nerve. We haven’’t had sex in weeks, if not months.

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What is your romantic relationship? Mode One? Mode Two? Mode Three? Mode Four? I hope it’’s not either of the latter two (unless you are a masochist, then Mode Three works for you). DON’’T COMPROMISE YOUR DESIRES AND INTERESTS TO ACCOMMODATE OTHERS; INSTEAD, FIND SOMEONE WHO HAS MANY DESIRES AND INTERESTS WHICH ARE SIMILAR TO YOURS. Everyone who has read my book knows how I feel about subjective criticisms. I think you should allow them to go in one ear and out the other. They have no place in long-term romantic relationships. ““You eat too fast!”” So. ““You talk too much!”” So. ““You dress too provocatively!”” So. ““You use too much profanity!”” So. ““You want to have sex too much!”” Uhm . . . . . . . so. Unless a man or woman signed a ““contract”” of sorts, and they specifically listed on this mutually agreed upon document that they would never eat too fast, talk too much, dress too provocatively, use too much profanity, or express too much interest in sex …… then all of these are subjective criticisms.

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In other words, they are based on your own opinion. When a man and a woman are in a long-term relationship, it is not their obligation to live up to your standards. I would never enter into any long-term relationship in order to live up to a woman’’s standards and expectations. I live by my own standards, and I look for women who happen to enjoy those standards. No corporation in America could get away with that unless they put it in writing. You notice how when you get hired for just about any job, they provide you with an ““Employee Manual?”” This is to let you know what they expect of you. They are communicating to you their expectations and desired standards for your behavior. Have you ever had a wife or husband hand you such a document? The ““This is what I expect of you as my wife / husband”” manual? ““This is what I expect of you as my girlfriend / boyfriend”” manual? Once someone agrees to behavior on paper, it then becomes objective. I have no problem with mutually agreed upon objective criticisms. If I made a vow to be faithful to you, and I break that vow, you have all the right in the world to harshly criticize me. That is an objective criticism.

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But I made no vow to eat chicken wings only two Fridays per month. If you tell me, ““Alan, you eat chicken wings too much!”” I’’m going to look you in your eyes, smirk, and calmly say, ““So.”” HARSH,

SUBJECTIVE

CRITICISMS

ARE

VASTLY

OVERRATED AND FOR THE MOST PART, UNNECESSARY. ONLY CONCENTRATE ON EXPRESSING OBJECTIVE CRITICISMS OF YOUR PARTNER’’S BEHAVIOR. It amazes me how many people let themselves go once they feel secure in a long-term relationship. Can you imagine if you purchased a nice, shiny, Porsche 911 and then once you signed all of the contracts and paid your first few car notes, all of the sudden the color started fading and the finish on your car just looked jacked up? Why do men and women feel like they can get married and then just gain forty, fifty or sixty plus pounds? What the hell? Keep your body in shape. You don’’t have to be a serious gym rat, or exercise like you’’re trying to win a beauty pageant or fitness contest, but c’’mon men and women …… no wants you gaining weight in the relationship for no reason. So you are a woman and you just gave birth to three children in five years? Okay, you have an excuse for letting yourself go a wee bit.

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Even then though, purchase a stationary bicycle or inexpensive treadmill. You might fool yourself into believing that your partner loves having sex with you because of your great personality and intelligence, but the reality is, he loved that nice butt of yours and she loved your six-pack abs. AN EMPHASIS ON HEALTH AND FITNESS KEEPS THE EROTIC SPARKS IN A RELATIONSHIP INDEFINITELY Okay, that’’s about all of the advice I have to offer regarding longterm

relationships,

and

how

the

Four

Modes

of

Verbal

Communication™™ and other factors come into play. Upfront, straightforward honesty is not something you just practice until you find Ms. Right. You incorporate that characteristic into your

day-to-day,

week-to-week,

month-to-month,

year-to-year

behavior. You can never go wrong with real, raw truth. ““Pleasant Lies”” (which was going to be the alternative title to this book by the way) will always do you in eventually. Lies mask the problem; Truth solves the problem.

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Don’’t enter into a romantic relationship in order to become happy. Develop a sense of happiness even before you meet a life-long romantic companion. Then, once you have developed a boat load of happiness …… share that happiness with whomever you meet. Peace, Love and Happiness to you all. Mode One Baby . . . make it happen.

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Alan Roger Currie was born in Gary, Indiana and is the author of the bestselling paperback, Mode One: Let the Women Know What You’’re REALLY Thinking.

Currie graduated from Indiana University in

Bloomington, Indiana with a degree in Economics and a minor in Theatre and Drama. Currie has previously pursued an acting career, acting on stage in college and acting in local, regional and national television commercials. Currie was also the 1989 Grand Prize Winner of the Chicago Miller Lite Beer Stand-Up Comedy Search Contest, which the late Bernie Mac won one year later. Currie has also pursued a career as a screenwriter and filmmaker, and has written and directed two short films. Currie is the host of his own talk radio show entitled Upfront and Straightforward with Alan Roger Currie and has been featured in Essence magazine and on The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet television talk show, among other media appearances. Currie resides in Northwest Indiana.

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SEMANTICS and SCENARIOS

SEMANTICS and

SCENARIOS

Inside the Mind of the Manipulative Game Player

Alan Roger Currie Mode One Multimedia, Inc. USA

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© Copyright 2010, Alan Roger Currie All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the author.

Printed in the United States of America. Mode One Enterprises, Inc. 2009 Other books by Alan Roger Currie: Mode One: Let the Women Know What You’re REALLY Thinking Mode One-HARDCORE Upfront and Straightforward: Let the Manipulative Game Players Know What You’re REALLY Thinking http://www.modeone.net

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SEMANTICS and

SCENARIOS Inside the Mind of the Manipulative Game Player

Alan Roger Currie iii

ALAN ROGER CURRIE

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CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION ........................................................................................ 1 CHAPTER ONE: Fool Me Once, Shame on YOU … Fool Me Two or More Times… ...... 5 CHAPTER TWO: The Growing Animosity Between men and women

............................. 13

CHAPTER THREE: Semantics ................................................................................................. 23 CHAPTER FOUR: I Want to Have Casual Sex, But I’m Afraid to Let You Know ............ 28 CHAPTER FIVE: Ultimately, We All Just Want to Have Things Go Our Way ............... 36 CHAPTER SIX: For the Women: Inside the Mind of the Manipulative Man ............... 45 CHAPTER SEVEN: For the Men: Inside the Mind of the Manipulative Woman ............... 54 CHAPTER EIGHT: The Ideal Goal for Every Man or Woman: To Be Authentic .............. 74

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Introduction Even though I love to write, I have to admit … I did not want to write another book. After I completed Mode One: Let the Women Know What You’re REALLY Thinking, I told friends and acquaintances that would be my only book. Then, in early 2007, I got talked into writing a second book (which I only published as an eBook, not a paperback). Finally, approximately one year ago or a little longer, I decided to write my second paperback and third eBook entitled, Upfront and Straightforward: Let the Manipulative Game Players Know What You’re REALLY Thinking. All of my books emphasize the same general theme: Encouraging men and women to express their romantic and/or sexual desires, interests and intentions to each other in a manner that is more highly self-assured, more upfront and more straightforwardly honest. Just about everything I write is directly or indirectly related to that one central philosophy. Lack of honesty and lack of open, forthright communication is, in my opinion, the #1 factor that is destroying the rapport between men and women, and ultimately preventing them from experiencing great relationships. Even worse, all of the perpetual dishonesty and manipulative ‘head games’ are causing a high degree of animosity between the two genders. A major chasm between the sexes.

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I am a straightshooter. I don’t like game-playing. In other words, I want the desires, interests and intentions that I express to others to either be a) reciprocated or b) rejected. This is the objective of all straightshooters. I will talk more about this throughout this e-book. Publishing Mode One, first as an eBook (2001) and later as a paperback (2006), has really changed and affected my life. I spent most of my 20s and 30s pursuing a career in the Entertainment Industry (as an actor, stand-up comic, screenwriter and filmmaker), but yet it took one book about being honest with your dating interests to cause my name to gain notoriety both here in the United States as well as in just about every country in the world (I have had some of my readers tell me that in some countries, my name is as well known as an A-list movie star … as least, among single men). I still get criticized by some for not discouraging men and women from engaging in casual sex and/or premarital sex. So what. Again, I do not feel it is my place to tell grown men and grown women how they should live their lives. If a man or woman has a desire to engage in short-term non-monogamous sex with multiple members of the opposite sex, that is their choice. We all make choices, and we ultimately live with the consequences and repercussions of those choices. My role is not to tell a man or woman to choose emotionally profound relationships over casual sex. My only purpose is to suggest to men and women that whatever your romantic and/or sexual objectives are, you need to be upfront and

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straightforward about them … otherwise, your lack of honesty and manipulative tendencies will hurt others, and at some point in the future, it will hurt YOU. If you notice, people are the most likely to change how they behave towards others when their own behavior comes back to haunt them. For example, if a man has the M.O. of constantly lying to women, the moment he meets a woman who he is really attracted to and really cares for, he will be devastated when that woman develops a habit of telling him a number of blatant lies. In my experience and observation, I find that the vast majority of men and women who lie to people don’t like to be lied to; The vast majority of men and women who mislead people do not like to be misled; And the vast majority of men and women who manipulate people and toy with their feelings do not like to feel as though they have been manipulated or have had their own feelings played with. My goal for this book is to delve deeper into the mindset of those men and women who employ an assorted number of manipulative head games with members of the opposite sex. I believe once you are able to quickly identify the type of manipulative game player you are dealing with, the more effectively you will be able to utilize Mode One Behavior as a means of disarming their manipulative tactics.

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As with all of my previous books, you will notice many questions for you to answer. I’d like to think of all of my books as more “self-examination” than “self-help,” although these two concepts are virtually synonymous. Ready to identify the manipulative game players of the world? Are you sure? Good. Read on.

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Chapter One Fool Me Once, Shame on You; Fool Me Two or More Times . . . Just about every discussion I engage in with others related to dating and relationships somehow ends with women blaming men for their disappointments and frustrations and men blaming women for the same. There is a saying that whenever you point your finger at someone, you usually have three fingers pointing right back at you. Here is the reality: For just about every form of behavior that you dislike in the opposite sex, you have members of your own gender who enable and motivate that behavior. Example #1: Women who are perceived as “gold diggers” If you did not have men who were attempting to attract and seduce women by offering financial favors to them or highlighting their salaries, net worth and/or material possessions to women, ladies who are known as “gold diggers” would cease to exist.

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Example #2: “adulterers”

Men who are known as “cheaters” and

If every woman in society were to only have sex with a man who was their husband, fiancé, live-in companion, or exclusively committed lover, men who are branded as “cheaters” and “adulterers” would cease to exist. Example #3: Women who are perceived as “bitches” If there were no men in society who were weak, egotistically insecure, extremely passive and willing to allow women to treat them in an undesirable and/or disrespectful manner, men would not have to resort to referring to a woman as a “bitch.” Example #4: Men who are referred to as “jerks” and “assholes” What is a ‘jerk’ anyway? That term is so vague and subjective. Similar to women being referred to as “bitches,” the only women who typically refer to a man as a “jerk” and/or an “asshole” are usually those who allowed men to exhibit behavior that was undesirable, disrespectful, highly inappropriate and/or selfish. Classic Adage: Fool me ONCE, shame on YOU. Fool me TWICE, shame on ME.

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In the event you are not familiar with this age-old saying, what this means is this: If you exhibit behavior towards me that is not to my liking, and you gave me no ‘warning’ that it was in your character to exhibit behavior that is unpleasant, undesirable or disrespectful, then I have a valid reason to criticize you. Now once I know that it is in your character to exhibit behavior towards me that is not to my liking and/or is not mutually beneficial to the long-term enjoyment of our friendship or romantic relationship, and I allow you to repeatedly exhibit such behavior, then I can no longer pass the blame on to you. It is my fault for allowing you to exhibit such behavior. If you read my first book already, Mode One, you will recall that I emphasized that you always have to be hardline against behavior that is blatantly disrespectful or shamelessly undesirable. A man or woman will always be whoever you allow them to be. If you allow a woman to consistently behave like a spoiled, selfish “bitch,” then she will continue to exhibit such behavior. If you allow a man to consistently behave like a verbally and physically abusive “asshole,” then he will continue to exhibit such behavior. Let us start with the basic core of a straightforward, nonmanipulative interaction between a man and a woman (assuming the man is the pursuer):

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BOY SEES GIRL BOY APPROACHES GIRL BOY EXPRESSES HIS ROMANTIC and/or SEXUAL DESIRES, INTERESTS and INTENTIONS TO GIRL GIRL RECIPROCATES BOY’S INTERESTS -orGIRL REJECTS BOY’S INTERESTS BOY and GIRL START DATING (seriously or casually) -orBOY and GIRL GO THEIR SEPARATE WAYS See how easy dating COULD BE if there were not any egotistical insecurities, lies and/or manipulative head games involved? Let’s now examine how we as men and women complicate the dating process by allowing one or more of the above-mentioned factors to influence our behavior. Scenario #1: An egotistically insecure man and his attempt at interacting with a woman: BOY SEES GIRL

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BOY SAYS TO HIMSELF, “I’m not that educated or goodlooking; I don’t have a six or seven-figure salary; She is so beautiful and sexy. She probably already has a number of guys pursuing her. I might as well just give up right now.” BOY CHOOSES NOT TO APPROACH GIRL BECAUSE HE ASSUMES SHE WILL NOT BE INTERESTED. Scenario #2: A man with a penchant for lying and playing head games and his attempt at interacting with a woman: BOY SEES GIRL BOY APPROACHES GIRL BOY EXPRESSES AN INTEREST IN A LONG-TERM, MONOGAMOUS RELATIONSHIP … BUT … HIS REAL INTEREST IS A SHORT-TERM, NON-MONOGAMOUS INTERACTION GIRL RECIPROCATES BOY’S INTERESTS GIRL EVENTUALLY HAS SEX WITH BOY BOY DUMPS GIRL AFTER HAVING SEX WITH GIRL A FEW TIMES GIRL IS HURT, ANGRY and BITTER

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BOY GETS HIS TIRES SLASHED See what happens? Insecurities caused the man in the first scenario to essentially “reject himself” before he even made an attempt to converse with the woman. Lies and head games caused the man to get his tires slashed from a bitter woman. Scenario #3: A woman who desires employment offers and financial favors looks to toy with a man’s feelings: BOY SEES GIRL BOY APPROACHES GIRL BOY EXPRESSES AN INTEREST IN A LONG-TERM, MONOGAMOUS RELATIONSHIP GIRL “PRETENDS” TO BE INTERESTED IN THE SAME THING, BUT IN REALITY, SHE IS LOOKING FOR FINANCIAL FAVORS AND GIFTS BOY “WINES & DINES” GIRL GIRL DUMPS BOY AFTER HAVING HUGE AMOUNTS OF MONEY SPENT ON HER GIRL SOON DEVELOPS REPUTATION FOR BEING A GOLD DIGGER AND A USER

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BOY DEVELOPS MISOGYNISTIC FEELINGS TOWARDS WOMEN More often than not, once you develop a reputation for doing wrong by others, you will soon find that your potential dating prospects in the future will begin to diminish. Throughout this book, I am going to describe a number of malefemale interaction scenarios and provide you with Mode Onebased guidance on how to work through them. Now, before we move on to the next chapter, a few questions for your first phase of ‘self-examination.’ 1) Men: Think of the last time you categorized a woman as a “bitch,” a “gold digger,” an “attention whore,” or some other subjective criticism; Do you think your reasons for doing so were valid?

2) Women: Think of the last time you categorized a man as a “jerk,” an “asshole,” a “dog,” or some other subjective criticism; Do you think your reasons for doing so were valid?

3) Think of someone you dated for a while, and particularly, someone who frequently exhibited behavior

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towards you that was undesirable, abusive and/or disrespectful; Why did you allow them to exhibit such behavior towards you on a regular or semi-regular basis?

4) What are some of the reasons why you tend to hide, deny, suppress and/or lie about your true romantic and/or sexual desires, interests and intentions with members of the opposite sex?

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Chapter Two The Growing Animosity between Men and Women As most of my readers know by now, I am the host of talk radio show that centers on any and all topics related to dating and relationships. It disappoints me each and every time I hear women bashing men, and men bashing women. What is with all of the bashing? All of this bashing comes from hurt feelings, bruised egos, pentup frustrations towards the opposite gender, and just plain old bitterness and resentment caused from being repeatedly lied to, misled and manipulated. I could probably be a millionaire right now if I had authored a book entitled, “All Men are Jerks & Liars!” Women love to read books that bash men, and excuse them from any sense of accountability regarding their own flaws and weaknesses. I would also be on my way to quickly becoming a millionaire author if I were to author a book entitled, “How to Seduce ANY Woman, ANYTIME, ANYWHERE No Matter How You Look or How Much Money You Have!” (I think there actually are a

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few books with similar titles by some Seduction Gurus from the Attraction & Seduction Community). Wake up. Do you want “fluff talk” or REAL, RAW talk? I can easily tell you what is pleasing to your ears, and offer you some sort of “magic pill” for your problems, disappointments and frustrations. Realistically though, you would be right back to square one in a matter of days and/or weeks. “Fluff Talk” Alan: Listen up ladies. All men are liars who are just looking to get into your pants. There are no good men out here in today’s dating scene. The handful of “good men” you will find will more-than-likely be in a Sunday church service. Do men lie to women in order to have sex with them? Of course many men do! Here is the revolutionary insight on this problem though: Many women WANT MEN TO LIE TO THEM. I didn’t stutter. You heard me right. There are a number of women in today’s society that want men to lie to them about their sexual desires. I asked a woman recently, “if a man approached you and said, ‘the only reason I’m conversing with you is because I would like a blowjob from you. Are you game?’ would you be cool with that, or would you feel offended or insulted in some sort of

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way?” Quite naturally, she said she would feel uncomfortable at minimum, and at maximum, flat-out disrespected. And this, my friends, is why men lie. Imagine if all single men who frequent nightclubs were to just exhibit Mode One Behavior and approach women and let them know what they are REALLY thinking. This would change the whole atmosphere of the typical evening out at the local nightclub or bar/pub/restaurant. Instead, men have to play this silly game of, “I am going to offer to buy you drinks so I can engage in trivial, inconsequential ‘small talk’ and lead you to believe that I want something more than just sex from you.” Blah, blah, blah. (Side note: Please watch the opening of the romantic comedy, Four Christmases, starring Reese Witherspoon and Vince Vaughn; Their interaction demonstrates what I’m talking about. Vaughn initially exhibits Mode Two Behavior, before making a bold, sudden switch to Mode One Behavior; Also, listen to the song by pop artist Ke$ha entitled Blah, Blah, Blah) Men do not necessarily lie or mislead women because they want to. In some cases, yes. In most cases though, it is because women give men the impression that they do not want to hear the raw truth.

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Raw Truth from Alan: The vast majority of men in society tend to put women who they are physically attracted to into TWO general categories: Those women who they genuinely want to get to know better, and those women who they just want sexual satisfaction from. If you are a woman, and you fall into the latter group, there is a good chance you are going to be lied to, misled, and manipulated by men. Most women are ‘addicted’ to pleasant lies and flattery. It is much more palatable for a woman’s ears to hear, “You are so beautiful . . . the type of woman I want to spend the rest of my life with” rather than for that same man to say, “The only reason I am conversing with you right now is because I want to exchange orgasms with you.” This is why you have so many smooth-talking, disingenuous lying womanizers (i.e., what women often refer to as “dogs”). I do not condone what ‘dogs’ do, but I understand it. Totally. Return to my nightclub example. In an ideal world, all single men could approach women, and express any and all of their true romantic and/or sexual desires, interests and intentions to single women … and those women would have one of two general responses:

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“I have to tell you [insert your name here, if you are a man reading this] … your bold honesty is so refreshing! I share many of the same desires and interests as you! Let’s get together!!” or . . . “[insert your name here, if you are a man reading this] … I have to tell you … your bold honesty is so refreshing! Even though I find myself unable to reciprocate your desires and interests at this time, I really appreciate you being so forthcoming with me. More men need to be as honest as you!” Again, I said the responses above would more-than-likely happen in an “ideal world.” Here would be an example of a more realistic response to a man’s request for casual sex: “Do I look like a whore to you? Huh? Do I have S-L-U-T spelled out on my forehead?? You are such a JERK!! An ASSHOLE!! What makes you think I would just meet you, talk to you for a few minutes, and turn around and have [casual] sex with you JUST LIKE THAT?!? The NERVE!!! Men are such PIGS!!!!”

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Many women would applaud this response. “You told him Girl!” would be the show of support from girlfriends. What these women do not consciously realize is, with a response such as this, you have just invited men … and motivated men … to lie to women, mislead women and play ‘head games’ with women from this point forward. “Fluff Talk” Alan: Listen up men. Every woman who wears modest clothing, is well spoken, and carries herself in a ‘classy’ manner is a monogamous-minded, sexually conservative ‘good girl.’ You know … “wife material.” Only those women who wear excessive make-up and adorn themselves in sexually provocative clothing are kinky and promiscuous. All women are either “good girls” or “kinky freaks” Men, wake up. Do you think every woman who enjoys kinky sex is going to wear a sign around her neck announcing her erotically uninhibited tendencies? Do you truly believe that women who indulge in various episodes of no-strings-attached casual sex (including group sex, swingers’ parties, etc) are simply going to tell you this in an upfront, straightforward manner? In the same way men want to maintain a certain level of respect from their male peers regarding their sense of masculinity, women want to maintain a certain level of respect from their female peers regarding their sense of virtue and “innocence.” In other words, no man wants to be called a “punk,” a “wimp” and/or a coward, and no woman wants to be called a “slut,” an “easy lay” and/or a whore.

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If you read Mode One and Upfront and Straightforward already, then you already know that I refer to sexually duplicitous women as Wholesome Pretenders and Erotic Hypocrites. In the same way you have many men who will pretend as though they have a genuine interest in long-term, monogamous relationships … when they really only have an interest in short-term, non-monogamous sex … you have women who are pretty much the same way. What is good for the goose is good for the gander. And many men and women wonder why there is so much distrust, bitterness and resentment between the two genders. Too many manipulative head games. Raw Truth from Alan: Women enjoy sex just as much, if not more, than the average man does. Women just do a better job “hiding” their horniness. Women do not shy away from casual sex because they don’t like sex. Women shy away from casual sex because they don’t want irregular, erratic sexual satisfaction. Women want regular, dependable sexual satisfaction. Also, casual sex leads to more unflattering subjective labels (e.g., “slut”) being attached to their name than it does for men. Both genders want SOMETHING from each other. As I mentioned in Mode One, don’t ever fool yourself into believing that you “don’t want anything” from the opposite sex. You always want something. Acknowledging this is the first step to improving your interpersonal communication skills with men and/or women.

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There are some things we want that we have no problem asking for in an upfront, straightforward manner. Then there are other things … tangible and intangible … that we are afraid to ask for upfront. Examples of things that men want from women and are usually not afraid to ask for: • platonic friendship • a lunch or dinner date • an entertaining conversation Examples of things that men want from women, but usually do not have the guts to ask for: • romantic companionship • non-monogamous sexual companionship • short term sex (e.g., one-night stand, weekend fling) Examples of things that women want from men and are usually not afraid to ask for: • platonic friendship • an entertaining conversation • a dependable listening ear or social hangout buddy

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Examples of things that women want from men, but usually do not have the guts to ask for: • romantic companionship • non-monogamous sexual companionship • short term sex (e.g., one-night stand, weekend fling) • financial gifts and favors • flattering attention • the sperm of a man to get pregnant The #1 reason why you have what is known as “game playing” between the sexes is primarily because of those things we want from each other, but are dreadfully afraid to come straight out and ask for. How do you identify when a man or woman wants something from you, but is afraid to ask for it? How do you quickly ascertain if a man or woman is ‘pretending’ to have one set of desires, interests and intentions when they actually have a totally different set of desires, interests and intentions? That is what this book is all about. Again, a few questions before we move on to the next chapter and get deeper into the mindset of a male and female manipulator.

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1) Men: What is something you want from women that you have generally been afraid to ask for in an upfront, straightforward manner? Why do you think that is?

2) Women: What is something you want from men that you have generally been afraid to ask for in an upfront, straightforward manner? Why do you think that is?

3) Men: Hypothetically, if all women gave you a ‘green light’ to express any and all of your sexual desires, interests and intentions to them in an upfront, straightforwardly honest manner (without any obligation on their part to reciprocate your desires and interests), would you still feel tempted to lie to women and/or mislead women?

4) Women: What bothers you about a man being upfront and straightforward with you about his desire for a onenight stand, weekend fling or other variation of casual, short-term non-monogamous sex? Would you rather a man ‘pretend’ to be interested in a long-term, monogamous relationship if it means preventing you from feeling “promiscuous?”

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Chapter Three Semantics What is semantics? Semantics is the study of the meaning behind words and in language. Ever since I wrote Mode One, the issue of semantics has been brought up during many of my book signing events and workshop discussions. For example, if I told a woman, “I want to exchange orgasms with you,” and she was to say, “I would prefer that you said, ‘I want to make love to you,’” then this would be an example of semantics in effect. Saying “I want to exchange orgasms with you” and saying “I want to make love to you” is saying essentially the exact same thing. I know women who hate the word “blowjob” and/or the phrase “sucking dick,” but these same women love performing oral sex on a guy (these women would rather use terms like “performing fellatio” or “providing a man with oral pleasure”). Many women are big on semantics. The vast majority of women I know cannot stand words, phrases or jargon that they perceive as too harsh, crass, rude, offensive, insulting, socially inappropriate and/or lewd.

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90% of the time, I could care less about semantics. I only care about what desire, interest or intention I am expressing. For me, saying “I want to make love to you” and “I want to fuck you” to a woman carries the same intention: I want to have sex with that woman. You could argue that the term “making love” has more romantic connotations to it than “fucking,” but that is all subjective. One of the most frequent questions that I receive from male readers of Mode One is, “Alan, when should I use X-rated or XXX-rated language when I approach a woman? When should I use R-rated language? PG-13 language? PG-rated language?” Again, for me, the intention you are expressing to a woman is the most important thing. Why are you attracted to this woman (e.g., Her looks? Her sex appeal? Her intelligence? What?) Why do you want to share her company (e.g., A platonic interaction? A business relationship? A short-term, casual sex relationship? A long-term, romantic relationship?) There is a specific reason why I many times do express my sexual desires, interests and intentions to women in an R-rated, X-rated and/or XXX-rated manner, particular when my interest has been casual sex: I want to see her reaction. Some men might find this surprising, but here has been my experience: The women who generally behave as though they are the most “offended” by X-rated talk are usually the same

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women who are the most eager to engage in [casual] sex. In my past, I would estimate that four out of every five women who initially had an adverse reaction to my sexually provocative language were the same women who at some point later on ended up having sex with me. Women who are genuinely not interested in dating you and/or having sex with you generally do not care about semantics or language. Women who have no desire to spend time with you could care less whether you express yourself in a PG-rated, Rrated, X-rated or XXX-rated manner. They just know that they are not attracted to you physically, romantically and/or sexually. The women who respond the most theatrically to what they perceive as unappealing semantics are usually those women who are, to one degree or another, manipulative and duplicitous. Similarly, the vast majority of men who would like to fancy themselves as being “socially appropriate gentlemen” are usually some of the most manipulative womanizers in society. “Raw” language is typically a sign that you are dealing with a truth teller. Something to Pay Attention To: When a man or woman is manipulative, they tend to be very, very careful about the words they use and the manner in which they phrase things; Manipulators always like to be perceived as saying the “right thing at the right time in the right way.”

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Straightshooter types do not place the same degree of emphasis on “socially appropriate” language and vernacular. Their main emphasis is to convey their real desires, genuine interests and true intentions to others. Is it “disrespectful” to use sexually straightforward and erotically provocative language with women in your first conversation with them? Depends on how you define ‘disrespecting’ a woman. In my mind, lying to women about your true desires, interests and intentions is disrespectful. Misleading women into believing that you want a long-term, romantic, monogamous relationship with them when you actually just want a few days or a few weeks of casual sex is disrespectful. What a man’s intentions are is far more important than what specific words and phrases he uses to communicate his desires, interests and intentions. We live in a society that puts such a premium on presenting ourselves as ‘well-mannered’ that we lean towards sacrificing genuine honesty and authenticity in favor of pleasant lies and disingenuous behavior. Don’t get me wrong. If a man can communicate his desires, interests and intentions without using raw, harsh profanity … he is the better for it. So I am not encouraging all men to exhibit “potty mouth” behavior at all. If the choice though is profane truth versus well-mannered insincerity and phoniness, I’m choosing profane truth.

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A few questions before we move on to the next chapter: 1) Men: Were you raised to speak to women in a ‘gentlemanly’ manner? Has this habit benefitted you? Or caused you some degree of frustration?

2) Women: Have you ever had a man speak to you in an X-rated manner, and you gave him the impression that he was ‘offending you,’ but deep-down, his provocative language turned you on? If so, why were you initially afraid to admit that?

3) Men: Have you ever said things to women that you knew were insincere, dishonest or misleading, but the words, phrases and language you used was so pleasant and smooth, that the women you were conversing with had no idea that you were being full of crap?

4) Women: What is more important to you … good manners? Or straightforward honesty?

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Chapter Four I Want to Have Casual Sex . . . But I’m Afraid to Let You Know As I alluded to in Chapter Three, very few men and women are afraid to let each other know about their interest in a platonic friendship. There are a number of men and women who are afraid to let their interests in a long-term, monogamous relationship be known from the get-go because of fear of rejection, but there are probably an equal number of men and women who have no problem being open and honest about their romantic interests. Without question, I believe the most intimidating proposition for both men and women is that of expressing the desire for casual, non-monogamous sex. At least half of the reason why you have men and women lying to each other, playing games with each other and cheating on one another is because of the desire for casual sex and/or sex with multiple partners. In a nutshell, I think both genders gravitate towards four groups from the opposite sex who they want to spend time with on a regular, semi-regular or occasional basis:

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• Those men or women who you want to spend time with in an attempt to enhance your career, your finances, or some other business/professional related goal or objective; • Those men or women who you want to spend time with in order to share entertaining stories with, experience some general social enjoyment with, and gain insight and wisdom on solving some of your problems and challenges; • Those men or women who you want to spend time with because you have a high degree of physical and sexual chemistry with, you enjoy their conversation and share some common interests with them, and their presence causes an ‘emotional high’ for you; • Those men or women who, on many levels, you find yourself not-so-compatible with, but they possess an animal magnetism that draws you to them, and your lust for them and desire to have sex with them is hard to resist; Men and women in the first group come and go (i.e., business contacts, professional associates, those worthy of networking with, etc) … no real drama or challenges there.

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Men and women in the second group are your platonic friends who you might interact with for a few weeks, a few months, a few years or for a lifetime. Men and women in the third group, of course, are those who you tend to develop a genuine emotional attachment with and subsequently, you tend to have a strong desire to maintain a long-term relationship with and even eventually marry. Now we get to that tricky fourth and final group. With men and women in this group, we know this person is not really “right for us” for long-term purposes. These men and women would more-than-likely never make a great boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife. But damn, if we don’t want to just lay down in bed with them and have a great time. Engage in raw, unadulterated, animalistic sex. For many of us, either our morals, principles, convictions or sense of commitment to our chosen romantic companion overrides any feelings of lust and temptation to act on our lascivious desires towards members from the fourth group. For others, we just have to get a ‘taste’ of what momentary sexual euphoria they may be able to provide for us. We say to ourselves, “What is one night? One weekend? One brief affair or fling?” In a nutshell, some of us want to ‘have our cake and eat it too’ (or as I like to put, we want to have peach cobbler in our stomach and on the kitchen counter at the same time).

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Because we live in what is generally considered a JudeoChristian society, premarital sex and sex with multiple partners tends to be frowned upon. Only sex within the context of marriage, or at least, a long-term committed relationship, is condoned by the masses. The desire to resist casual sex and/or premarital sex places women in a very challenging position. A ‘catch-22’ scenario tends to present itself. Think of Natalie Wood’s character of Deanie Loomis in Splendor in the Grass (1961). In this movie, Deanie was in love with Bud (Warren Beatty, one of my top Entertainment Industry idols), but she was raised to be ‘the good girl.’ Bud loves Deanie, but like any hormone-raging teenage boy, he wants to have sex. Deanie won’t give him any sex, so Bud ultimately hooks up with the girl in school who is known for being somewhat of an ‘easy lay.’ Deanie is so traumatized by Bud having sex with someone else that she becomes emotionally unstable and ends up in a mental institution. As men, we need to empathize more with this “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” situation for many women. If these women ‘hold out’ until marriage, many of them are perceived as ‘prudes’ and sometimes, they end up losing out on the “Buds” in their life; On the flip side, if they give up the sex to every man who they have feelings for, they end up being branded a ‘slut,’ a ‘ho’ or a kinky freak.

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Men are not held to this same societal standard, so we are not judged in the same manner. Men are almost given free rein to ‘sow our wild oats’ and then later, settle down and get married. One way to possibly counteract all of the lies and misleading head games that usually accompany one’s desire for sex with multiple partners (if you are not a monogamous-minded person) is to engage in what is commonly known as polyamorous dating which includes concepts such as swinging, coupleswapping, ‘open’ relationships and marriages, and similar variations of multiple partner sex. With these polyamorous scenarios, a man and/or woman essentially gets to ‘have their cake and eat it too.’ You can have both a steady partner who you may (or may not) have some degree of emotional attachment to, and on the other hand, you have the freedom to pursue other sexual partners to satisfy your momentary lustful desires. We all know that many men and women would simply not be down for this polyamorous stuff. Let’s be real. Some men are so egotistical, insecure, jealous and possessive that they would never condone their female partner openly having other sex partners. Even many women would not stand for such a scenario. These jealous, insecure types would much rather cheat and commit adultery than to open the door for multiple sex partners to be mutually accepted and encouraged within the relationship.

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A word of caution though: A promiscuous mindset not only has potential personal repercussions, but it can also have societal repercussions. The traditional family structure has taken a hit because of all of this out-of-control promiscuity and adultery. Many men do not find marriage as appealing as men from previous generations. Many women are now content with simply having a ‘sperm donor’ and having a ‘baby daddy’ in their life instead of a loyal husband. Young men are growing up in fatherless households with no real role model for manhood. Young women are growing up thinking that the primary way to get attention from men and attract financial favors and employment offers is to dress provocatively and trade sexual companionship for tangible and intangible wants and needs. Orgasms are the preeminent ‘drug addiction.’ Once a young man or young woman experiences a powerful, pleasurable orgasm, they are hooked for life. For most men who are supposed to be in committed relationships, once we see a cute face, a nice set of breasts, and a round, plump derriere, our conscious or subconscious mind screams out “potential orgasm!” Even when our intelligent, rational mind says, “Well, I probably should resist,” our instincts and hormones yell out, “I have to have her!” Many women are the same way. Testosterone is a very powerful aphrodisiac for even the most conservative, erotically

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self-disciplined woman. Only the fear of getting pregnant, the fear of STDs and/or the fear of having the Scarlet Letter of promiscuity and adultery can conceivably stop a woman from being impulsive and acting on her lustful desires. As I always say, only engage in casual sex and premarital sex if you are mature enough and responsible enough to handle all of the potential consequences and repercussions that come along with your pursuit of carnal pleasures. Now, as usual, some more questions to ponder before we move to the next chapter.

1) Men: Write down all of the qualities, characteristics and attributes in a woman that makes you want to be a) platonic friends with her; b) her boyfriend or potential husband; or c) her casual sex buddy or ‘friend with benefits.’ What are the similarities? The differences?

2) Women: Do you sometimes get frustrated over the double standard that society has towards men and women’s sexuality? Do you think women should be given the opportunity to ‘sow their wild oats’ without being judged or have labels attached to their name?

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3) Men and Women: What are your thoughts on the idea of polyamorous dating? Would you be okay with a steady partner of yours being free to have sex with multiple partners? Or would you rather your companion ‘hide’ their momentary or temporary trysts from you?

4) Men and Women: What affect do you think casual sex, premarital promiscuity and frequent adultery has on the family structure in society? Do you think a son and/or a daughter needs to be raised by both parents? Or is one parent sufficient? Would you lose respect for your mother and/or father if you knew they were into swinging or couple swapping?

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Chapter Five Ultimately, We All Just Want to Have Things Go Our Way Let’s admit it: We are all spoiled and selfish to some degree. From the time we are born, we want to eat hamburgers, cookies or ice cream when we are hungry, drink juice or milk when we are thirsty, be the center of attention among family and friends, and play with our toys or watch television when we see fit. The difference between being children and being adults, is that somewhere in our upbringing (hopefully), we are told that we will not always be able to have things go our way. I once read where the difference between a sane, rational person and a psychotic, “crazy” person is that the latter literally believes that he or she should always be able to get what they want without obstacle or challenge. When a man or woman wants romantic and/or sexual attention, and our desires and interests are rejected, many times we cannot handle this. Again, we want things to go our way. Rejection stings. Rejection bruises our egos and hurts our feelings. Some men and women can get over their feelings of being rejected fairly easy while others cannot.

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Why do people in business compromise their ethical standards and even commit illegal acts? Ultimately, because they want everything to go their way. The same thing happens in malefemale relationships. When many of us know deep-down that we cannot handle rejection, we turn to various forms of deceit and manipulation to turn things in our favor. Many single men who are familiar with my books are also familiar with what is commonly known as the Attraction and Seduction Community, or simply, The Seduction Community. The Seduction Community is full of self-proclaimed ladies’ men, womanizers and pickup artists who fancy themselves “gurus” of teaching philosophies, principles and techniques that lead to men getting laid, and usually, fairly quickly. For the vast majority of these ‘gurus,’ their central concept is the idea of preventing and avoiding a) harsh criticisms from women, b) adverse/negative reactions from women, and most importantly, c) rejection. If you read most of the materials sold by a Seduction Community ‘expert,’ you will be able to see that just about everything they teach is geared towards this objective. Here is the problem with this philosophy: No man is humanly capable of attracting and/or seducing “any” and “every” woman they meet. That feat is virtually impossible. Even for George Clooney, Brad Pitt or Boris Kodjoe. It simply will not happen.

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Alan using Seduction Community “Magic Pill” Talk: Guys, trust me on this: If you listen to my every word and adhere to my every principle, you will be able to seduce even the most stubborn woman in the world in LESS THAN AN HOUR!! I GUARANTEE IT!! Here is my guarantee: If after reading my book, you cannot receive a blowjob from a prom queen, cheerleader, single schoolteacher, or sorority girl in sixty minutes or less after making her acquaintance, I will refund all of the money you paid me PLUS add on an extra fifty bucks!! Here is how you can seduce ANY WOMAN you talk to: 1) Find a woman who perceives you as sexually irresistible or who has a history of being a chronic nymphomaniac; 2) Flatter that woman to the highest degree, and make her feel like she is the most beautiful woman on the face of the earth; 3) Invite that woman to consume straight shots of vodka, tequila, petron or any other hard liquor; 4) Tell that woman that you are due to inherit two million dollars or more in the next thirty days; If this four-step method does not work, then you will have to buy “Magic Pill Seduction, PART II!!!”

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Here is the business savvy of the average “guru”: 1) Make guys believe in the “magic pill” principle; 2) Make guys actually believe that if they follow your principles and techniques to the letter, they will be able to attract and seduce any and every woman they meet (even though you know as a guru that this concept is bullshit) 3) If guys fail with women after reading your materials, just sell them ANOTHER BOOK, CD or DVD!!! Make them feel like THEY did “something wrong,” but with your new materials, they can’t possibly go wrong. 4) Repeat this process (#3) at least once or twice per year 5) If a few guys actually do luck up and begin to attract a few more women than they did before, have them submit testimonials on your behalf, and even include them in some promotional marketing materials.

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Raw Truth from Alan: Any man can make a few adjustments in their behavior as well as eliminate some invalid beliefs and harmful attitudes that will result in some degree of improvement in their success with women. Always be wary though of hyped up “magic pill” philosophies, principles and techniques that ‘guarantee you’ that you will be able to attract and seduce nine out of every ten women you meet. All men are going to experience rejection from some percentage of women that they are attracted to. It is just a fact. The issue is not whether or not you get rejected, but how you allow that rejection to affect your confidence and psyche towards approaching new women in the future. Going back to my conversation about semantics, some men believe that if you use language that makes a woman feel “comfortable” in your presence, that you improve your chances of dating this woman and/or seducing this woman. Women can feel comfortable around a man who is gay. Does that mean they want to date this man or have sex with them? Women can feel comfortable around a 12-year old boy. Does that mean they want to jump his bones? (Well, with all of the teacher-student sex scandals, it makes you wonder, huh?)

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I always say, making women feel ‘comfortable’ is a tad bit overrated. Some men go so far out of the way to show women respect that they end up allowing women to disrespect them. If there is one thing that is just as bad as disrespecting women, it is allowing women to disrespect you. I call this “overrespecting” women. When you allow a woman to treat you like a flat-out chump, you are over-respecting a woman. Specific examples of over-respecting a woman: • You call a woman. She doesn’t return your call in a timely manner but yet you proceed to call her two, three, or four or more times without a return call. • A woman flirts with another guy in your face at a bar, but yet, she looks for you to pay for her drink(s); You frown at her flirtatiousness, but pay for the drink(s) anyway. • A woman asks you for a financial favor or two, but yet, she never agrees to hook up with you socially; You do the favor(s) for her anyway. • You spend hours and hours and days and days listening to this woman vent about her frustrations with other men, only for you to later find out that this woman is having sex with the ‘jerk’ she is complaining about; You complain about her behavior, but continue to be her ‘platonic boyfriend’ anyway. 41

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Even when you are very, very attracted to a woman (or, if you are a woman reading this, very attracted to a man), you have to be hardline towards undesirable and/or disrespectful behavior. You cannot allow yourself to be taken for granted or become someone else’s doormat. Learn to attach consequences and repercussions to behavior that is undesirable or disrespectful. This is the only way a man or woman will learn to respect you. The worst thing you can do as a man or woman is to constantly complain about and criticize a man or woman’s behavior, but still make yourself readily available to them. DO NOT EVER DO THIS. IT WILL MAKE YOU LOOK WEAK. LIKE YOU HAVE NO BACKBONE. Catch someone in a lie once, forgive them. Catch them in a lie two or more times, leave them alone. Someone misled you once, forgive them. Someone misleads you two or more times, walk away. You cannot reward ‘bad behavior.’ This is a major cardinal sin. Remember: Everyone interacts with you because they want something. Identify what that is, and deny them of it indefinitely when you are lied to, mislead or treated in an undesirable or disrespectful manner. Your attention and companionship is way too valuable to be taken for granted.

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Manipulation is always a two-way street. The only way you can really be manipulated by someone else repeatedly is if you are in some way, shape or form trying to be manipulative yourself. If you’re not being manipulative, at minimum, your behavior is way too lenient. Do not put so much emphasis on flattery, entertaining conversation, favors and making members of the opposite sex feel ‘comfortable’ in your presence. All of this is highly overrated. There is a difference between talking and communicating. Remember that. Manipulative people are simply spoiled men and women who want to get their way at any cost. If they cannot get what they want by directly asking for it, then they try to get what they want through “indirect” means. Many times, unethical means that violate the trust and personal boundaries of other people. Before we move on to Chapter Six, a few questions to contribute to your process of “self-examination.”

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1) Men and Women: Have you ever had an ex-boyfriend, ex-girlfriend, ex-lover or even a platonic friend of yours categorize you as either “spoiled” and/or “selfish?” Did you agree or disagree with their assessment??

2) Men: Have you purchased one or more books, CDs and/or DVDs from a Seduction Community “Guru?” Did this Guru’s philosophies, principles and techniques deliver as ‘promised’ or ‘guaranteed?’ If not, do you feel that YOU did anything wrong? Were you encouraged to buy a second book, CD or DVD??

3) Men and Women: Have you been sometimes guilty of “over-respecting” someone (i.e., showing others respect while allowing them to disrespect you, or take you for granted)? Why do you think you allowed such undesirable behavior?

4) Men and Women: Do you have a hard time not getting your way? Is rejection something that is exceptionally hard for you to swallow? Do you sometimes think about exhibiting “unethical” or inappropriate behavior in order to get what you want from people?

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Chapter Six For the Women: Inside the Mind of the Manipulative Man Men. Men are very simple in their desires, but yet, they can be perceived as both complex and frustrating about the manner in which they go about pursuing their desires. Men want respect. Men want power. Men want wealth. Men want love. Men want sex. Men want chicken wings and Peach Snapple. (Okay, okay … that is just Alan Roger Currie who wants wangs and Peach Snapple) There are a lot of men in society who are very egotistical. They want to be the “King of the Hill.” This is one of the reasons why you have highly competitive men engaging in athletic activities as well as being very competitive in business, such as Wall Street executives.

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When you mix a very healthy ego with a certain degree of greed and an inability to accept failure or rejection, a manipulative man is born. The good thing about the vast majority of men (as it relates to dating and relationships) is that they only really lie to women, mislead women and manipulate women primarily for one reason, and one reason only: Sex. Specifically, sex with multiple partners. Men will pretend to be “in love” in order to have casual sex with a woman who they are really lusting after. Men will pretend to be platonic friends with a woman indefinitely hoping that one day, they will have their opportunity for a sexual advance. A man’s primary tools of manipulation are smooth talk and/or flattery, money and employment offers/opportunities, and of course, “believable” lies. When it comes to womanizers, there are generally two types: Lying womanizers, otherwise known as “dogs,” cheaters or adulterers; And womanizers who are upfront and straightforward about their desire for multiple sex partners, otherwise known as “players” or even “pimps.” The latter type are worthy of respect. A true player will never lie to you, mislead you or manipulate you in order to get you in bed. He will simply tell you what his sexual desires, interests 46

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and intentions are, and you will be either down with his program or you will not be. Same with a pimp-type. The lying womanizer will always employ a pretense of monogamy, but in reality, he is anything but monogamousminded. This man wants as much sex from women as he has time in his schedule to attend to. Women always ask the question, “Why do men cheat?” That is sort of along the lines of, “Why does a dog lick his balls?” (because he can). That question will never really give you a long-lasting, satisfying answer that will help you solve your problems with unfaithful men. The better question is, “What makes a man remain monogamous to one woman?” I know men who have no interest in exchanging orgasms with multiple women. Their love is deep for just one good woman in their life. Here are a few reasons why some men choose to remain faithful to one woman: • The man has already “sowed his wild oats” and the wild, promiscuous phase of his life is behind him;

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• The man has very deep, religious and/or spiritual convictions, and he feels that being promiscuous and/or adulterous is a blatant violation of his religious and spiritual principles and doctrine; • The man profoundly feels as though what he has to potentially lose (e.g., the love of his wife and children) is far greater than the rewards of having a short-term or long-term sexual affair with another woman; • The man is afraid that the woman he might cheat with could turn out to be a psychotic stalker type or infect him with some sort of sexually transmitted disease; I could probably think of another four or five psychological factors that cause men to want to remain monogamous with one woman, but the issue at hand is manipulative men and more specifically, lying womanizers. Here is the most powerful question you can ever ask a man as early as five minutes into your first conversation with a man: “What is the REAL reason why you are talking to me right now and what are your long-term interests in sharing my company?”

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I shared this question with some of my closest female friends and acquaintances, and just about all of them were amazed at the various responses they received from men. Many men actually get flustered and tongue-tied when asked this question by a woman. This a clear-cut sign that you are conversing with a man with manipulative tendencies. You see, manipulative men do not like to be specific, upfront or straightforward with their desires, interests and intentions. Manipulative men much prefer to remain ambiguous and vague in regard to their romantic and/or sexual desires and interests. Do you want to ask a man an even more provocative question?? (Now this one takes guts!) “Is the real reason you are engaging me in this entertaining small talk because sometime in the near future, you are hoping to have me naked in your bed??” Watch that man’s face!! If he’s Caucasian, he might turn beet red. What is a [manipulative] man going to say? **If he says “yes, that is exactly correct!” then he shows his hand too early, and he runs the risk of an abrupt rejection. Therefore, the average manipulator / lying womanizer will be reluctant to give you a straightforward “yes” response;

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**If he says, “no, that’s not the reason I’m having this conversation!”, then he knows deep-down that he would be lying. The average manipulator / lying womanizer would not want to risk you saying, “Well, that’s too bad. If you would have just been straightforward about your desire to have sex with me, I might have been in your bed as early as tonight!” See how both questions cut through the game-playing and bullshit? Why lying womanizers want a girlfriend, steady companion or wife: Men who are lying womanizer types want dependable, steady sexual companionship from one woman. They also want access to other women who are going to provide them with exciting, but temporary sexual companionship. A lot of men who are adulterers, cheaters and lying womanizer types want at least one woman in their life who they perceive as “the good girl” type. The woman who looks good on their arm, presents themselves in a conservative and classy manner, and is intelligent, articulate and even spiritual. Then, on the other hand, they want at least one other woman who they can treat like a complete kinky slut. The kind of woman they can talk super ‘nasty’ to, be totally freaky with, and not worry about any sort of ‘emotional bond’ with.

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If you watched Chris Rock’s feature-film, I Think I Love My Wife, you will remember the entertaining scene where Rock’s character weighs the pros and cons of being married versus the advantages and disadvantages of remaining single. He basically concludes that there are drawbacks to both, but at least with marriage, you have steady female companionship. Manipulative men do not want to choose. They want the benefits of both the committed relationship and the single life. Again, they want to have their cake and eat it too. As a woman, the key thing to remember is that for a man to be highly promiscuous, he has to find the time to do so. How does your new male friend, boyfriend or husband utilize his free time? Does he hang out socially at night a lot? If you two live together, does he frequently come home late? Does he seem to always be gone, particularly during the evenings and weekends? Repeatedly ask these men why do they love sharing your company? Encourage them to profess how attracted they are to you on social networking sites such as Facebook (trust me, no lying womanizer type wants to be on Facebook!). Make sure men take you out in public (lying womanizers hate to be seen too much in public). What about “Weasels?” (i.e., those men who pretend to be your platonic friend, but really are trying to have sex with you)

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Questions, questions, questions. “Why do you enjoy being [platonic] friends with me?” “Are you sure you are not just trying to weasel your way into my pants?” Trust me … simple questions like these are very effective. Remember: When you ask a good question of a man with manipulative tendencies, he is going to always attempt to be vague and ambiguous in his responses. Manipulators do not like to be upfront and straightforward. Never make a man feel “obligated” to commit to you. This will always backfire in the long-run. Never ask a man to make drastic changes in his behavior for the sole and specific purpose of pleasing you or accommodating you; He will resent you for it later on. Recognize that there are no “free lunches.” If a man you just met offers to do financial favors for you, he is looking for sexual companionship as a form of gratitude. Always, always, always invite a man to be straightforwardly honest with you about everything. Never “punish” or penalize honesty. 1) Have you ever dated a man who you knew had a reputation for being an incorrigible womanizer? What attracted you to this type of man? What made you think he was going to change his ways for you?

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2) Do you ever ask men straightforwardly what it is they want from you? If no, why not?

3) Do you know how your current companion spends his free time?

4) What makes you think that all of your platonic male friends are genuine? Have you ever asked them straightforwardly, “Are you interested in having sex with me at any point in the near future?” If no, why not?

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Chapter Seven For the Men: Inside the Mind of the Manipulative Woman Women. On the surface, women seem to be more complex and harder to figure out than the average man is. In reality, women’s desires and needs are very close to those of a man. Many women love money, power, sex, respect and popularity / fame just as much as many men do. Here are some distinct differences between the average woman and the average man: • Women, generally speaking, tend to be more nurturing and empathetic towards the feelings of others than most men are; • Women, generally speaking, are much less prone to exhibit violent and/or physically aggressive behavior than the average man is;

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• Women, if they are reasonably attractive, tend to have men constantly hitting on them for sex. Much more than the average [handsome] man does; • Women, generally speaking, put a wee bit more emphasis on long-term, monogamous relationships than the average man does, particularly between the ages of 30 and 49. This is when a woman’s “biological clock” is in full effect; Because of many men’s penchant for skirt chasing, many women’s behavior goes in one of two directions: 1) They either become very leery of men, maintaining the belief that their underlying motive will always be to get in their pants, have sex with them for a few days, weeks or months, and then dump them so that they can move on to the next sexual conquest; … or … 2) If they are savvy and manipulative, they learn how to use men’s lack of sexual straightforwardness against them; They end up using men for financial favors, employment favors, flattery, entertaining conversation, and just about anything else that they desire from men.

Let’s tackle issue #1 first.

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Blunt truth? Most men are full of shit when it comes to their desire for sex, and particularly, their desire for short-term, nonmonogamous sex. Men all too frequently spend too much time attempting to come up with new and different ways to ‘fool women’ into believing that they don’t want sex … when in actuality, that is all they want. I have for years considered this the dumbest routine by men. Try to get sex by pretending that you are not trying to get sex. How stupid is that?? On paper, you say, “Very stupid.” Yet, five out of every seven single men (high end estimate) I have met did just that. I discussed the issue of subjective labels earlier, and more specifically, about men referring to some women as “bitches.” Some men will approach a woman in a nightclub or bar / restaurant, offer her a free drink, engage her in some entertaining ‘small talk,’ only to have that woman abruptly reject any further advances. A man’s common reaction will be, “She is such a bitch!” No, she is not. This is a woman who is sick and tired of men insulting her intelligence. Do you really think that this woman does not know deep-down that you are fantasizing about putting your penis in her mouth and/or vagina? Wake up dude. C’mon son.

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Only a young, naïve, very inexperienced girl does not realize what the vast majority of men are after. In my lifetime, I have witnessed so many men do everything possible to get a woman into their bed, but yet maintain the idea that they are trying to do anything BUT get that woman into their bed. On to issue #2. Some women, instead of getting an ‘attitude’ about men’s disingenuous behavior, go the opposite route and learn how to ‘play’ men. These women know men want sex. They know the majority of men do not want sex within the context of a loving, emotionally profound relationship. They realize that many men just want a one-night stand, a weekend fling, or nine-and-a-half weeks of casual sex enjoyment. What do they also know about the average man? They know that the vast majority of men don’t have the balls to express their true sexual desires, interests and intentions in a highly self-assured, upfront and straightforwardly honest manner. Most men are verbal cowards when it comes to letting their true sexual desires and interests be known to women. So these manipulative type women learn how to play the game, and they learn to play it well. Let us look at a few common scenarios where manipulative women take advantage of men with no balls. You might recognize yourself in a few of these scenarios.

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The Verbal Wimp VS The Common Attention Whore Most women love attention. The more enthusiastic and flattering the attention, the better. I have rarely met a woman who did not want to be constantly flattered and did not want to receive a nice boost to their ego. So you, the verbal wimp, approach a woman and you immediately begin telling a woman how beautiful she is, how sexy she is, how wonderful she is … blah, blah, blah. Do you really think that this woman does not realize that over half of the reason why you are taking time to flatter her ego is because you ultimately want to get in her pants? Puhleaze! Wake up dude. C’mon son. Mode Three Timid: Doesn’t even approach this woman. Admires her from afar. Mode Three Target: Approaches the woman, and immediately starts flattering her ego like crazy. Goes on to talk about how nice his house is, how much money he earns, how educated he is, blah, blah, blah. Offers to wine and dine the woman.

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Mode Four Misogynist: Takes the opposite route, and attempts to insult the woman. This guy figures, “this woman has a number of men flattering her, so I will be just the opposite. I will insult the bitch.” Mode Two Nice Guy: Offers a good mix of flattery and humor. More-than-likely, has the woman laughing. Eventually gets around to mentioning that he is attracted to the woman for either long-term dating or shortterm sex. Is very careful with his words though. He does not want to “turn the woman off.” Mode One Straightshooter: A man exhibiting Mode One Behavior will blend his sincere compliments in with expressing a genuine desire to share this woman’s company. Either for long-term romance or enjoyable casual sex. Others: “I think you are very beautiful…” Mode One: “I would like you to share my company in the next week or two because I find you very beautiful…” Others: “I think you are extremely sexy…”

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Mode One: “I have to be honest … I am not looking for any sort of ‘serious’ relationship right now. If casual, no-strings attached sex is not your thing, I can respect that. It is my belief though that you and I have great sexual chemistry, and I would love to exchange orgasms with you for as long as our chemistry lasts…” See the difference? A man exhibiting Mode One Behavior is always about expressing what his interests are. He does not just flatter women for the sake of pleasing and satisfying their ego. Nor does he go Mode Four, and attempt to insult women or purposely try to get under their skin under the guise of presenting himself as a ‘challenge’ or ‘bad boy.’ The Verbal Wimp VS The Common Gold Digger Many men love to meet women at nightclubs. If nightclubs are your thing, more power to you. In my experience, nightclubs in the United States are nothing more than a central headquarters for Attention Whores and Gold Diggers. Can you blame these women? In nightclubs, all I do is observe men breaking their necks to flatter women, offer them free drinks, engage them in trivial, but entertaining conversations, and show off their jewelry, clothes and nice, expensive cars.

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If I were a woman who wanted an ego boost, free drinks and to identify men who can afford to purchase an expensive car, I would frequent a nightclub too!! Do you really think that these women do not realize that over half of the reason why men patronize nightclubs is to try to score a really quick piece of ass? Puhleaze! Wake up dude. C’mon son. Mode Three Timid: Goes to a nightclub and doesn’t even approach any women. Admires them from afar. Mode Three Target: Approaches a few women, and immediately starts engaging them in trivial, but halfway entertaining fluff talk. Goes on to talk about how nice his house is, how much money he earns, how educated he is, blah, blah, blah. Offers to buy three or four rounds of drinks for the women. Mode Four Misogynist: Stands around most of the night calling women “bitches” and “hos.” The few women he talks to, he treats them like street prostitutes and low-grade strippers. Probably has a drink or two thrown in his face.

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Mode Two Nice Guy: Invites women to dance with him, and engages them in conversation that is interesting and entertaining to a degree. Initially, avoids expressing any romantic or sexual interest, but when he feels as though the conversation is coming to a close, he wraps it up by offering his phone number and/or asking for the woman’s phone number. Mode One Straightshooter: A man who frequently exhibits Mode One Behavior would never allow himself to visit a nightclub too often. On those few occasions when he did, he would quickly scan the place looking for the two or three women he is attracted to the most, and within seconds of opening the conversation, let the women know what his true interests are. Others: huh!…”

“This club is really hoppin’ tonight,

Mode One: “So … should we share each other’s company next weekend? Or the following weekend?” Others: “These drinks are really strong! You want to dance?”

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Mode One: “I find you very attractive and I think you and I need to have another conversation sometime soon where there is not so much noise. I suggest we get together next week at my place or your place. Your thoughts…” See the difference? A man exhibiting Mode One Behavior always wants to get to the point. He does not look to score “quick.” More-often-thannot, that mindset backfires. I approach even casual sex with a mindset of confidence and patience. I say, make a woman become the “anxious” one instead of you being Mr. I-Can’tWait-to-Tear-Your-Clothes-Off. Don’t offer women a number of free drinks. That is weak. Don’t show off your new car or jewelry. Again …. Weak. Demonstrate how big your balls are by being refreshingly honest and straightforward instead of offering women financialbased incentives and rewards for sharing your company. The Verbal Wimp VS The Wholesome Pretender The Wholesome Pretender and Erotic Hypocrite. I would argue that these are the primary women that make Mode One Behavior the most necessary and the most effective.

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In case you have yet to read Mode One, Mode OneHARDCORE and/or Upfront and Straightforward, a Wholesome Pretender is a woman who presents herself publicly as the proverbial innocent, wholesome “good girl,” but in reality, she is as erotically uninhibited as a sex-crazed nymphomaniac. An Erotic Hypocrite is similar to a Wholesome Pretender, but she is a bit more materialistic, upscale, and status-oriented. These two women, more than any other manipulative types, know how to use your fear of being straightforward with your sexual desires against you. These women prey on men who are scared to show any signs of lust. These women want to have casual, kinky sex just as much as many men do, but they will never tell you that upfront. They will leave it to you to demonstrate your balls and disarm them. You have to break these women down. LOOK INTO THEIR EYES You have to look a WP or EP directly in their eyes when you converse with them. Do not look down, to the side or up in the air. Look them directly in their eyes. With every woman you interact with, practice this. Look women directly in their eyes for at least five-to-ten seconds. Make them look away first.

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CALM YOUR VOICE Always make every effort to maintain a calm, ultra-relaxed voice. No high-pitched inflections. No hesitancy in your voice. Voice should be full of confidence and self-assurance. Make sure your breath is fresh and not funky. YOU MUST MAINTAIN THICK SKIN If subjective criticisms throw you for a loop, you need more work in the trenches. Absorb this motto: “Punches from a Mixed Martial Artist might injure my ribs and break my bones, but harsh, subjective criticisms can’t do jack to diminish my confidence.” (I was tired of ‘sticks and stones’) Mode Three Timid: Doesn’t even approach a Wholesome Pretender and/or an Erotic Hypocrite. Admires them from afar.

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Mode Three Target: Would never be able to identify a WP or an EH. Why? Too busy trying to “run game” on women and impress them. These are the men that EHs use and then later, dismiss them when they get bored. WPs are simply entertained by these clowns. Mode Four Misogynist: Approaches all women as if they are skanks and whores. Well, at least he is not approaching them as if they are queens and princesses. But his approach comes off too bitter, misogynistic and crass. Mode Two Nice Guy: This guy is way too “gentlemanly” and well-mannered to break down a WP and/or an EH. These women want to be seduced … not flattered or entertained. Mode One Straightshooter: A man exhibiting Mode One Behavior will always assume that a WP and an EH is just as sexually free-spirited and uninhibited as he is. “Wait a minute … I thought being presumptuous was a ‘bad’ thing??” Nope. Not for a Mode One guy looking to break a

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woman down. You have to assume that a woman wants you to seduce her just as bad as you want to seduce her. How does a lawyer know when a witness is guilty? When they become flustered, begin to contradict themselves, and express stories and facts that are inconsistent with one another. How does a Mode One guy know he’s dealing with a Wholesome Pretender and/or an Erotic Hypocrite? When they become flustered, begin to contradict themselves, and exhibit behavior that is very inconsistent with their words. This is when you have to become a student of body language signals and verbal subtext (my very next eBook!). WPs and EHs give off certain body language cues that clue you in. “But she is behaving as though my language is too provocative and even offensive to her!” Is she still talking to you? Enough said. WPs and EHs are always going to bust your balls (again, see Reese Witherspoon’s character in Four Christmases). There are only two times you know for a fact that a woman is not interested: 1) if she abruptly ends the conversation with you (don’t get dejected … it happens) or 2) she straightforwardly tells you, “I am not attracted to you” or “I am not interested in sharing your company in a romantic and/or sexual manner”

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“But she called me a ‘jerk’ and an ‘asshole’! That can’t be good … right?” Wrong. When dealing with a WP and/or an EH, harsh, subjective criticism is a good thing. Why? Because this means you have them egotistically frustrated. You see, these women are used to men being verbal cowards and trying to hide, deny or suppress their true sexual desires, interests and intentions. Now, you come along with big balls, and this throws them for a loop. They want to know: Is this guy “pretending” to have balls? Or does he genuinely have big ass balls?? Show these women that you really have them. “Should I be aggressive and try to kiss them or touch them??” No. Every now and then, I will be “touchy, feely” with women, but that is only if they have given me blatant body language that I can get away with that. Believe it or not, many times … it is more arousing to a woman for you not to touch her. It is a form of “teasing.”

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“I want to talk to this woman, but she is constantly around two or more of her girlfriends .. what now?” Approach all of the women and ask their permission to “borrow” their friend who you are focused on. More-thanlikely, they won’t mind. If one friend attempts to “block,” disarm her with kindness and humor. Do not insult any of the woman’s friends. Once you have the woman of your desire a few feet away from the group, let her know what you’re REALLY thinking. “I went up to this woman and said, ‘Hey … Can we get together tonight and fuck?’ She cursed me out and walked away. I thought I was being Mode One … what went wrong?” There is a difference between being bold, upfront and straightforwardly honest … and being just crass and inconsiderate. “But I thought you said it was okay to use X-rated language with women?” It is. After you get a good feel for a woman’s emotional disposition, and you sense that a woman has similar interests to yourself. You have to do some degree of qualifying first. Do you even know if she is single?

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Incorrect: Man: Hey beautiful … can we get together tonight and fuck? Woman: You are such a juvenile asshole. (walks away) Correct: Man (looks at hand for wedding ring; doesn’t see one; initiates conversation by first qualifying): You and I should share each other’s company in the next two-to-three weeks. Your thoughts. Woman: I don’t even know you. Man: My point exactly. This why you and I should share each other’s company. So I can get a feel for who you are … and you can get a feel for who I am. Woman: Are you asking me out to lunch or dinner? Man: Nope. I am not interested in watching you eat. I am interested in building sexual chemistry with you. Our sexual chemistry could result in something long-term, or our chemistry could only lead to a week or two of enjoying each other’s company thoroughly. I’m willing to go as far as our chemistry leads us … Woman: Is that all you want from me … just sex?

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Man: Is this a trick question? Woman: You men are so superficial and shallow! Unbelievable! Man: So … next Friday or the Friday after next? Woman: I bet you are one of those womanizer types who uses women for their bodies and then dumps them! Man: And I bet you are one of those women who love to give men a hard time … tease them … before finally giving in to them. I can’t wait to exchange orgasms with you in a few weeks… Woman: A few weeks?!? Do you have that many women on your schedule that you can’t make time for me this weekend?? This conversation is loosely based on an interaction I had with a woman a few years ago. The correct conversation was a bit longer than the incorrect conversation, but it ended up in the same place … talking about the idea of exchanging orgasms. Lessons: 1) Don’t ever become defensive and/or apologetic if a woman accuses you of “only looking for sex.” That is a wimp-out move. I generally don’t even acknowledge a question like that.

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2) If this woman was not interested in sharing your company, why in the heck would she keep talking to you?!? Always keep that in mind. 3) If a woman starts asking you about how do you behave towards other women, ignore that. Just concentrate on getting together with her. 4) Never act desperate or overanxious to get a woman in bed too quickly. Again, let her become the “anxious” one.

Want advice on a more specific scenario? Write me at [email protected] and you will earn a free thirtyminute phone consultation or up to ten (10) Email consultations with Yours Truly by virtue of the purchase of this book! Once you get the hang of the Mode One mindset, you will never want to return to a Mode Two and/or Mode Three mindset. Those two behaviors will begin to make you cringe. Quiz Questions: 1) What is the difference between a “Wholesome Pretender” and an “Erotic Hypocrite?

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2) If a woman is not interested in you, but is pretending to be, more-than-likely, she wants you to a) flatter her ego; b) give her a materialistic gift and/or perform some financial favor for her; c) offer her a job; d) listen to her vent about her problems and frustrations with other men; e) make her laugh and entertain her; f) one or more of the above

3) If a woman is interested in you, but is pretending not to be, more-than-likely, she wants to a) make sure that you have the balls and confidence to hold her interest; b) prove to you that she is not ‘easy’ and is somewhat of a ‘challenge’; c) see how much effort you are going to put forth to secure her romantic and/or sexual companionship; d) determine if you have a bevy of other beautiful women in your stable; e) lightheartedly give you a hard time; f) one or more of the above

4) Which is most important when conversing with a woman? a) direct eye contact; b) a calm, cool, relaxed voice tone and quality; c) to be totally indifferent and unfazed in response to harsh, subjective criticisms from women; d) to always express your romantic and/or sexual desires, interests and intentions in a highly selfassured, upfront and straightforwardly honest manner; e) to leave a woman alone as soon as she makes it crystal clear that she is not interested in you; f) all of the above

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Chapter Eight The Ideal Goal for Every Man or Woman: To Be AUTHENTIC I always make it publicly known that I generally admire adult film stars. Those from the Conservative Right would say, “What?!? Those people in the porn industry are disgusting!! They promote misogyny, promiscuity and perversion!! How could you possibly admire or respect them??” Because adult film stars, love them or hate them, are very authentic and real in their behavior. Most of us are, to some degree, duplicitous, hypocritical and judgmental. You have women who criticize and judge women for being prostitutes and call girls, but yet these same women want to be ‘wined and dined’ in exchange for their sexual companionship. You have men who are quick to call other men ‘jerks’ for being all about casual sex, but many of these same men are pretending to want romance when they just really want a one-night stand or a weekend fling. Men are funny. They simultaneously love kinky, promiscuous women … and despise them. Men love women who are erotically uninhibited and free-spirited because they know these

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types of women can produce a great time in bed. The vast majority of men do not want to be sexual with a prudish “good girl.” Trust me on that. As soon as these women show them a great time in bed, they turn around and call them a slew of names designed to pass judgment on them. And then men wonder why women do not want to share any details about their sexual past with a new boyfriend. Strive to be authentic. Accept members of the opposite sex for who they are. Don’t like something about them? Then do not date them. Simple, right? What have manipulative head games gotten you? I mean, really? Every game you play on someone is going to come back on you at some point. Believe that. I wish all men who wanted multiple sex partners would simply pursue women who want multiple sex partners, and all men who want only one sex partner would hook up with women who want only one sex partner. Instead, you have promiscuous-minded men misleading monogamous-minded women and vice versa. In the long-run, everyone ends up hurt, frustrated, bitter and resentful.

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Become an open book. Lay all of your true desires, interests, intentions and tendencies on the table. You will ultimately attract romantic partners and lovers who will truly appreciate you for who you really are. For those men spending hundreds if not thousands of dollars on materials produced by so-called “Seduction Gurus,” there is a 90% chance that you are wasting your money. Some of that stuff might work in the short run … for a few days. In the longrun, you will be right back to square one. Any philosophy, principles and/or techniques that are designed to prevent and/or avoid rejection are going to backfire. Trust me on that. From time to time, we all need to be rejected. That may not sink in now, but it will soon. Let’s say you are a 25-year old guy, and you seduce onehundred women by lying to them, misleading them and playing head games with them. Are 100+ orgasms really worth creating one-hundred angry women who will now totally distrust men for the rest of their lives? Some may say, “Wow! I didn’t know Alan Roger Currie was so much about ethics and stuff!! I thought he was about helping men eliminate their fear of rejection and helping men get laid!!” I am about upfront, straightforward honesty. If that same 25year old guy was to exhibit Mode One Behavior with each one 76

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of those one-hundred women whom he seduces, more power to him! If that is the case, I have no criticism of him. He laid his cards on the table, and he allowed the women to make an adult decision. When I first wrote Mode One, I was single and playing the field. As of the writing of this book, I am in a long-term, emotionally profound relationship with a woman who I love very deeply. In some ways, my thoughts about male-female interactions may have changed a bit, but for the most part, I still stand by everything I have ever said in any of my books. I leave you with a couple of quotes regarding manipulation: “The basic tool for the manipulation of reality is the manipulation of words. If you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use the words.” Philip K. Dick, American Writer “Love comes when manipulation stops; When you think more about the other person than about his or her reactions to you. When you dare to reveal yourself fully. When you dare to be vulnerable.” Dr. Joyce Brothers, American Psychologist and Newspaper Columnist Mode One Baby. Make Things Happen.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Alan Roger Currie was born in Gary, Indiana and graduated from Indiana University in Bloomington, Indiana with a degree in Economics and a minor in Theatre and Drama. Currie is considered one of the foremost authorities on interpersonal communication between men and women in the world, and particularly, the art of single men approaching women and expressing their romantic and sexual desires, interests and intentions to women in a highly self-assured, upfront and straightforwardly honest manner. Currie has been featured in a number of newspaper and media publications in countries such as Australia, Brazil, Canada, France, Guatemala and Japan, among others. Currie is the host of his own talk radio show entitled Upfront & Straightforward with Alan Roger Currie and has been featured in Essence magazine, Black Enterprise magazine and on The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet television talk show, among other media appearances. Currie is also a Dating and Relationships Expert for BlackPeopleMeet.com online matchmaking service. Currie splits his time between Northwest Indiana and Southern California.

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Copyright © 2011 Alan Roger Currie ISBN: 978-0-98503-140-4 All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the author. Printed in the United States of America. Mode One Enterprises, Inc. 2011 http://www.modeone.net

Other books and paperbacks by Author Alan Roger Currie: Mode One: Let the Women Know What You’re REALLY Thinking Mode One – HARDCORE (eBook only) Upfront and Straightforward: Let the Manipulative Game Players Know What You’re REALLY Thinking Mode One – Semantics and Scenarios (eBook only)

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Alan Roger Currie Mode One Enterprises, Inc. Hollywood, CA 90046

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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS Much love and appreciation to all of my family members, relatives, close friends and loyal supporters of all of my books and talk radio podcast programs. Special acknowledgement always goes to those in my close inner circle of friends, which includes among others, my older brother, Stephen C. Currie I have a lot of respect for a lot of fellow experts who work in the area of dating & relationships, sex, seduction, erotica, and other related genres, many who I have interviewed on my talk radio podcast programs. A few would include: Dr. Veronica Anderson, Dr. Susan Block, Samantha Brett, April D. Carter, Anthony & Melanie Clark, Dr. Helen Fisher, Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright, Robert Greene, Dr. Debby Herbenick, Twanna Hines, Stefany Jones, Alexandra Katehakis, Marni Kinrys, Alex Lasarev, Dr. Carole Lieberman, Lucia, Nina Hartley, Dr. Bat Sheva Marcus, Mr. Marcus, Tariq Nasheed, Tammy Nelson, Dr. Jessica O’Reilly, Lorna Clarke Osunsanmi, Steve Penner, Dr. Carol Queen, Dr. Rachael Ross, Candida Royalle, Yolanda Shoshana, Ryeal Simms, Don Suave, Shanel Cooper-Sykes, Dr. Natasha Janina Valdez, Chrystal West, and Sheri Winston. Special shout outs to Sam Harvey in London, Rico a.k.a Your Royal Flyness, and Chicago Photographer Carlos Alvarez. Also, much props and respect to the late, great adult film actor John Leslie, as well as Anthony Spinelli, Anthony Spinelli, Jr., Bernardo Bertolucci, Tinto Brass, and Zalman King. These men have inspired me and continue to do so. Last but not least, I have much love and respect for the women who allowed me to share one or more episodes of erotic enjoyment and orgasmic pleasure with them, and also the many women who I have engaged in lengthy, candid, erotically uninhibited conversations with. I have probably learned more about women’s sensuality during most of my episodes of hot, kinky phone sex with women than I have during many of my episodes of enjoyable (and not-so-enjoyable) bedroom sex. Thank you.

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CONTENTS INTRODUCTION .................................................................... 1 PREFACE: DO YOU SUFFER FROM THE MADONNA / WHORE COMPLEX? .................................. 13 PART ONE: THE BASICS OF THE VERBAL SEDUCTION MINDSET ............. 21 CHAPTER ONE SOCIAL PROGRAMMING: THE #1 OBSTACLE TO SEDUCING WOMEN .............................................................................. 23 CHAPTER TWO IF WOMEN LOVE SEX JUST AS MUCH AS MEN, WHY SOME OF THE NEGATIVE REACTIONS IN RESPONSE TO X-RATED DIRTY TALK? ........ 35 CHAPTER THREE DEVELOPING SELF-CONFIDENCE THAT IS SO STRONG, THAT IT MAKES WOMEN FEEL “UNCOMFORTABLE” .................................. 49 CHAPTER FOUR SEXUAL CHEMISTRY: THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UNPREDICTABLE ....................................................................... 63 CHAPTER FIVE THE HYPNOTIC EFFECT OF AURAL SEX: USING THE POWER OF WORDS TO BREAK THROUGH A WOMAN’S SOCIAL PROGRAMMING....... 79

PART TWO: SHE IS THAT KIND OF GIRL................................................... 113 VERBAL SEDUCTION STORY #1 .............................................................. 117 VERBAL SEDUCTION STORY #2 .............................................................. 129 VERBAL SEDUCTION STORY #3 .............................................................. 141 VERBAL SEDUCTION STORY #4 .............................................................. 153 VERBAL SEDUCTION STORY #5 .............................................................. 159 VERBAL SEDUCTION STORY #6 .............................................................. 179

WRAP UP & FINAL THOUGHTS ................................... 205 OTHER BOOKS & RESOURCES I RECOMMEND ..... 207 ABOUT THE AUTHOR ..................................................... 209

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Introduction Sad to say, very few men will purchase a self-help book, particularly one about love, long-term romantic relationships, or marriage. Women are overwhelmingly the primary buyers of self-help books from the dating and relationships genre. When it comes to discussions about conversing with and interacting with women, men primarily care about sex. Just about all single heterosexual men want to know about one or more of these three things: 1) how to be better at sex (e.g., how to maintain an erection for a longer period of time before orgasm, how to cause a woman to ‘squirt’ or experience more orgasms, etc.); 2) how to improve the quality or quantity of their female sex partners; and 3) how to get a woman aroused and in their bed without investing too much time or too much money. If a book offers advice related to one of these three areas, there is a good chance that a man will pick it up. This book primarily offers advice related to issue #3, and to a lesser extent, issue #2. I believe there are more than enough books on the market currently that emphasize issue #1, so I do not really touch on that area at all. As a reader, the books that inspire me the most and that I tend to learn the most from are those that 1) ask the reader a really good question (or series of questions), and 2) proceed to provide knowledge, wisdom, well thought out logic and valid opinions, and even relevant data and statistics, that is supported by documented research that attempts to thoroughly answer that question (or questions) to the best of the author’s ability. As an aspiring screenwriter and filmmaker living in Los Angeles, I would evaluate the vast majority of my favorite films

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with those criteria in mind. “What primary question is this film posing? And what answers to that question is this film providing to viewers?” Take the 1987 film, Fatal Attraction starring Academy Award winning actor Michael Douglas and Emmy Award winning actress Glenn Close. The question this movie asked its audience, and in particular the male audience, is this: “What are some of the unforeseen repercussions and potential consequences of having an adulterous weekend affair with someone who you know very little, if anything about?” Just about every scene and major plot point in that film was either directly or indirectly related to providing a visual answer to that question. As a writer, this is the format I use. Ask a compelling question, and then answer it in the most entertaining, enlightening and intellectually thorough manner as possible. If you have read my previous paperbacks, you’ll see that in each book I posed one central question to my readers, and then I used each individual chapter in each book to provide my brand of knowledge, wisdom, philosophies and assertions that attempted to answer that central question. Central Question #1: “How does the fear of being rejected by a woman and the fear of being criticized or disliked by a woman inhibit the ability of a single heterosexual man to approach a woman of interest, initiate a conversation with her, and ultimately express his romantic or sexual desires, interests and intentions?” The answer: Mode One: Let the Women Know What You’re REALLY Thinking (the title of my first paperback)

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Central Question #2: “Alan, how does communicating with members of the opposite sex in a ‘Mode One’ manner help you quickly and effectively identify or prevent ‘manipulative head games?’ How can I distinguish when a man or woman sincerely shares the same romantic or sexual desires, interests and intentions that I have, versus a man or woman who is really intending to deceive me, mislead me, manipulate me, and toy with my emotions?” The answer: Upfront and Straightforward: Let the Manipulative Game Players Know What You’re REALLY Thinking (the title of my second paperback) I do not possess a Ph.D. in counseling or clinical psychology, marriage therapy, sex therapy, or any other related field. I have earned my credibility as an author and dating coach simply by having a history of offering advice to readers and clients that helped them solve their problems and ultimately improve their love life, sex life, and overall social life. Arguably my best advice to male clients has been in the areas of 1) helping single heterosexual men overcome their fear of being rejected so that they will soon start approaching more women of interest and initiate a conversation with them, and 2) helping these same men overcome their fear of being criticized by women or their fear of receiving negative reactions from women so that they will soon express their romantic and sexual desires, interests and intentions to women of interest in a more self-assured, upfront, forthright manner. Even though I am not a licensed psychologist or therapist, I have many clients in various countries who pay me by the hour for advice and consultations. I receive positive testimonials full of appreciation and gratitude on a monthly, if not weekly basis.

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Some people in society say that “sex is a very controversial subject, and always will be.” I half-agree, and half-disagree. More specifically, it is kinky sex and promiscuous sex that typically provokes strong opinions from many. There is no real controversy regarding prudish, monogamous-minded John Doe having sex at 10:00 PM in the master bedroom with his prudish, monogamous-minded wife Mary Ann Doe. Very few men and women want their sexual preferences, sexual habits, and sexual activities to become public knowledge when they are engaging in sex that they know will be perceived as kinky or polyamorous and promiscuous. Personally, I have no issue with men and women engaging in any form of sex they choose, as long as it is mutually consensual sexual activity, and the man and woman involved are being upfront and straightforwardly honest with each other about their long-term desires, interests and intentions. My attitude is, once you are 18 years of age, you can do whatever you choose to sexually as long as you are totally aware of all of the potential emotional, social and health-related consequences and repercussions that may accompany your choices and behavior. Many men and women in American society are naturally hypocritical, duplicitous, self-righteous and judgmental when it comes to issues related to sex. Remind yourself of this on a regular basis, otherwise you will eventually become agitated. I have been criticized, many times very harshly, by some conservative and deeply religious types for not discouraging single heterosexual men from engaging in premarital sex or pursuing women for short-term non-monogamous sex. I am not a minister or a preacher. I feel I have done my part by encouraging men to avoid being dishonest with women, and to avoid engaging in manipulative ‘head games’ with women.

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I have said it before, and I will say it (repeatedly) again: If you are a man, and you know you just want short-term nonmonogamous (casual) sex with a woman, just TELL WOMEN THAT FROM THE GET-GO. This allows the woman to make her own choice and decide whether or not to sleep with you. As I discussed in my two previous paperbacks, Mode One and Upfront and Straightforward, anytime you are dishonest or misleading about your interest … or your lack of interest … in some form of romantic or sexual relationship, you are engaging in manipulative ‘head games.’ Why are there so many manipulative ‘head games’ employed by both men and women related to dating and relationships and the pursuit of sexual companionship? Here is a recap of the major games that members of both genders tend to engage in: Men’s primary manipulative ‘head games’: - Men who approach women, and give them the misleading impression that they want a sexual relationship that is both long-term and monogamous, when in reality, these men want a sexual relationship that is short-term or non-monogamous. - Men who approach women, and give them the misleading impression that they are only interested in a platonic friendship, when they know deep-down they are interested in some form of romantic or sexual companionship. - Men who offer women financial and non-financial “favors” under the guise of being ‘generous’ and ‘helpful,’ when in reality, they are expecting the women they are helping out to ‘reward’ them with sex. - Men who give their spouses or long-term romantic companions the misleading impression that they are “in love” and being monogamous to their partner, when in actuality, they are being unfaithful and having sex with “women on the side.”

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Women’s primary manipulative ‘head games’: - Women who interact with men under the guise of being genuinely interested in them romantically or sexually, when in reality, they simply want flattering attention, entertaining social companionship, financial and non-financial favors, or a dependable, empathetic listening ear when they are frustrated or bored. - Women who ‘cock tease’ men on a regular or semi-regular basis for their own egotistical satisfaction. - Women who date and marry men primarily for the man’s level of social status, level of education, career success, or wealth, but in reality, they have no real romantic feelings for these men or no real sexual attraction for these men, and ultimately, they end up being unfaithful to these men and having sex with “men on the side.” - Women who pretend to be genuinely interested in a casual sex relationship with a man, when in reality, they really want a relationship that is long-term, emotionally profound, and monogamous. Some in society say, “Most unwanted pregnancies come from short-term non-monogamous (casual) sex.” Bullshit. Statistics do not back that up. Most of the women I have met who had babies out of wedlock got pregnant while they were in a long-term monogamous “boyfriend-girlfriend” relationship. Some in society say, “Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) are more frequently passed around because of casual sex.” Again, I say bullshit. Men and women who fail to practice safe sex and are sexually irresponsible engage in long-term monogamous relationships just as much, if not more, than they do short-term non-monogamous (casual) sex. Adult film stars are very promiscuous, and they also have some of the lowest rates of STDs of any man or woman in

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American society (most Adult Film actors and actresses actually get tested for HIV an average of once per month, and they get tested for other STDs an average of once every 2-3 months). Do your research people. There are a lot more myths and unsubstantiated criticisms and assertions against the concept of casual sex than there are truth, facts, and valid statements. Here are some of the questions and issues I plan to address in my third paperback: What are the symptoms of the Madonna / Whore Complex, and how does it affect a man’s attitude and behavior toward women? What types of women are most receptive to invitations to indulge in casual sex? What type of women will typically have the most adverse reactions to invitations to engage in shortterm or non-monogamous sex? Why are some women totally turned off by sexually provocative conversations and erotic dirty talk, while other women will “pretend” as though they are turned off and offended by sex talk, but in reality, are really turned on by erotically explicit language and sexually provocative conversations? How can a man identify the “genuine prudes” from the “disingenuous / fake prudes?” Why do women ‘pretend’ to be ‘prudish’ when they are really open-minded, free-spirited, and erotically uninhibited? Why do some women ‘pretend’ to be only interested in long-term monogamous sex when in reality they have and will indulge in short-term non-monogamous sex? What is “seduction?” When do you really need to truly ‘seduce’ a woman? When can you have sex with a woman without needing to ‘seduce’ her?

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How important is your physical appearance in turning women on? How important is your degree of career success or wealth? How important is your sense of humor? What are the primary male attributes you need to possess in order to effectively attract and seduce women into having sex with you? What is Aural Sex? How can you get a woman sexually aroused simply by using certain words, your voice, and your overall conversational skills? These are just some of the questions I will address in this book. Hopefully, after reading through it, you will have some of the answers and advice you need to improve your ability to verbally seduce those women who you are most interested in having sex with. I accept the fact that many of my beliefs, ideas, and philosophies will never be accepted as ‘mainstream’ or ‘AllAmerican’ ideals and values. The concept of all single, heterosexual men exhibiting Mode One Behavior toward women of interest with the primary objective being casual sex severely challenges modern society’s status quo. In fact, while most men and women will say they want others to be honest, the ironic thing is, few can take it. Quick example: I hear so many women say, “I hate men who are liars. Why do men play so many head games?” but when asked about the idea of men exhibiting Mode One Behavior toward them, and letting them know upfront and straightforwardly that all a man wants is short-term non-monogamous sex, many of the women said, “Well, if all they want is a one-night stand or weekend fling, I would rather they keep their desires to themselves.” That said, men can have equally ‘subjective’ ideas of what honesty means – most people, men and women would rather hear pleasant, palatable lies than real, raw, straightforward truth. You say you want truth. Do you really?

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Let me give you some truth: A young man I know left the following comment on the popular social networking site, Facebook: “97.5% of the women I meet, I just want to fuck. One time, two times, three times, maybe five times. Less than 3% of the women I meet do I even remotely think about them becoming my serious girlfriend or potential wife. Men … what is your percentage?” Only a handful of men offered a written ‘co-sign’, probably for fear of being attacked by this man’s female Facebook friends, but over 50 men clicked on his ‘like’ button, including Yours Truly. I believe this sentiment is shared by many women as well. The truth is this: most men, especially attractive, popular ‘alpha male’ types, would highly prefer to only interact with women sexually in a short-term or non-monogamous manner. There are very few women that these types of men would want to be sexually monogamous with indefinitely. If you put a single heterosexual man in a room with onehundred beautiful, sexy women, and asked him, “How many of these women would you have sex with ONE TIME?” That man would probably say, “95-100 of them.” If you asked him how many of those 100 women in that room would he have sex with 2-3 times, he would probably respond, “85-95 of them.” If you continued with your questioning, and asked that same man, “how many of these women would you have sex with monogamously for the next 5, 10, 15+ years?” that man’s response would probably be, “2 or 3 of them. 4-5 of them tops.” At the risk of generalizing my gender, the vast majority of single heterosexual men with high libidos would exchange orgasms literally with each and every attractive woman they met, if given the opportunity, at least one, two, or three times. Does that mean that these types of men should be branded as “pigs” for just wanting to fuck women 1-3 times instead of

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wanting to be involved with them romantically and monogamously for an indefinite period of time? No. Men are who they are. Women are who they are. If you are a woman reading this, and you do not want a man to ‘use you just for sex,’ remember: you have a choice. Women just about always maintain the final decision when it comes to sex, so you can keep your legs closed until you are engaged, married, or at least, living in the same house or apartment as your long-time lover if you so choose. Women, when involved in a mature, consensual adult relationship of any kind with men, are the ultimate gatekeepers of sex. Many women feel they have to pretend to be content with casual sex, when they really want a long-term, emotionally profound, and monogamous sexual relationship that will lead to marriage. Please, stop pretending. You will only set yourself up for a lifetime of hurt, frustration and heartbreak. Always be honest with yourself, and your potential lover, about your longterm desires, interests, intentions and expectations. Men who ‘just want to fuck,’ ideally, should be hooking up with women who ‘just want to fuck’ too. And the men who want something more long-term and emotionally profound should be hooking up with the women who want the same thing. Sounds very easy, right? We all know, realistically, that life does not pan out this way, because unfortunately, members of both genders love to play head games. If you have read my previous books, then you know that I keep it real. I did not write this book to teach men how to play head games with women, and mislead women. If you did not read my first paperback, Mode One: Let the Women Know What You’re REALLY Thinking, then stop reading this book right now until you purchase and read Mode One. While you’re at it, pick up my second paperback, Upfront and Straightforward: Let the Manipulative Game Players Know

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What You’re REALLY Thinking. Ideally, you should have read both of those books before sitting down to read this one. If you are looking for advice that is representative of pleasant, conventional “fluff talk” that is easy on the eyes and the ears, I am not the author for you. I tend to write a lot of truths and assertions that leave a lot of men and women riled up, and ready to engage me in hours and hours and days and days of heated debates. The primary criticism I receive from other men is that you cannot seduce high quality ‘hot’ women by being upfront and straightforward. Many men feel they will be seen as a ‘horny creep,’ and end up slapped and cursed out by women. But, in fact, while a few women have found my provocative, straightto-the-point interpersonal communication style to be unconventional and even socially inappropriate, I can honestly say that since my early 20s, I have never been slapped or physically assaulted by a woman as a result of utilizing Mode One Behavior. Knock on wood. As far as criticisms from women, many of them simply do not like the idea of “pick up artists” trying to ‘trick’ them into having (casual) sex. They find such techniques and tactics manipulative and unethical. And you know what? I agree with them. I have never considered myself a “pick up artist,” and never will. One last story before we get started: a guy left me a comment on a message board saying, “Alan, with all due respect, I just want to get laid. I don’t care if that means lying to women, making them think I am in love with them, or just blatantly manipulating their emotions … I am going to do whatever it takes to get laid.” At some point in the future, I wouldn’t be surprised to read about that same guy getting stabbed in the head by some hurt, crazy woman who is full of anger, frustration and bitterness. Heaven has no rage like love turned to hatred, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.

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My advice in a nutshell: men need to be honest when they want nothing more than just a pleasurable fuck and satisfying orgasm, and women need to be honest when they want something more than just a pleasurable fuck and satisfying orgasm(s). The failure to adhere to this very simple piece of advice is the primary root and basis for all of the ‘head games’ between men and women. When you are dishonest, disingenuous, misleading or manipulative toward getting someone in bed, you are usually left with all sorts of unnecessary “drama” and ill feelings on both sides. Trust me on this. If you are upfront and straightforwardly honest about your long-term sexual desires, interests and intentions, neither you or the other person will be left with any feelings of regret, shame or animosity. If you are only after some conventional, mainstream, "feelgood" advice that is easy on the eyes and ears, then I might not be the author for you. But if you read on, I can assure you that my bold, no-nonsense approach will not leave you complacent - a lot of men and women will spend hours, or even days on heated debates with me on the truths I raise. While I have 'haters' and critics in over 15 different countries across the world, I also have fans and supporters - people who do want to speak, and hear, the truth about ourselves. Enjoy the book. [email protected]

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Preface: Do You Suffer from the Madonna / Whore Complex? In addition to being a book author, I am the host of two talk radio podcast programs: Upfront & Straightforward with Alan Roger Currie and The Erotic Conversationalist. If there is one issue that repeatedly comes up on my two shows, it is the psychological concept developed by the legendary psychologist Dr. Sigmund Freud, known as the Madonna / Whore Complex When a man suffers from the Madonna / Whore Complex, he tends to perceive the sexuality of all women in two diametrically opposed categories: • Conservative, sexually self-controlled, prudish, chaste, monogamous-minded “good girls” and • Wild, free-spirited, horny, kinky, lustful, promiscuous “whores” and adulterous “sluts.” The reality is, only a small percentage of women fall neatly into these two categories. If I were to evaluate all women’s sensuality and degree of eroticism on a scale from “1” to “5,” with the ‘prudish good girls’ being a ‘5,’ and the ‘kinky, promiscuous whores’ and ‘adulterous sluts’ being a “1,” the vast majority of women in society are 2s, 3s and 4s. What would be my personal description of a “1,” a “2,” a “3,” a “4,” and a “5?” A lot of this will be highly subjective on my part, but here we go:

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“5” – This is a woman who never, ever engages in shortterm or non-monogamous sex. This woman will only have sex with a man who is her husband, fiancé, or long-time, monogamous, live-in lover and romantic companion. “4” – This is a woman who generally prefers to only have sex with a man within the context of a long-term monogamous relationship, but not necessarily marriage. A woman who is a genuine 4 highly prefers “boyfriend-girlfriend” type relationships where some sort of emotional bond and connection is present. If and when this woman does decide to engage in episodes of short-term or non-monogamous sex intentionally, there is a 99% chance that she is going to regret it sometime later on. “3” – This is a woman who highly prefers long-term monogamous sexual companionship, but this woman will also indulge in occasional episodes of short-term and/or nonmonogamous (casual) sex, if you say the right thing at the right time on the right day, or if you are generally ‘her type,’ and your verbal seduction skills are above-average. This woman is extremely selective about choosing her casual sex partners. “2” – This is a woman who will acknowledge that she does not have a problem engaging in casual sex with men who she feels she has an above-average degree of sexual chemistry with. She will even occasionally indulge in kinky acts such as a ménage-a-trois, other forms of group sex, exhibitionistic sex or voyeuristic sex. Most women who are 2s tend to be duplicitous about their sexuality, and want others to perceive them as conservative, prudish, and monogamous. “1” – This woman is very kinky and promiscuous, and will have sex with just about any guy who flirts with her, any guy who is her ‘physical type,’ or any guy of interest who offers to ‘wine and dine’ and perform financial favors for her.

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I’m going to give you a quick course in “Manipulative Head Games 101” as it relates to the desire for casual sex: 1) Many men want to have casual sex, but they do not want to have casual sex with women who they perceive as “1s” and “2s.” Those are the women who most egotistical men tend to categorize as an “easy lay,” or worse, a ‘whore’ or a ‘slut.’ Men, and in particular egotistical men, want to pursue women who they perceive as a ‘challenge’; Therefore, they pursue the women who they perceive as 4s and 5s, with their bare minimum standard being women who are 3s. 2) Women are not stupid (well, most are not). The vast majority of women who are 1s and 2s are not going to publicly present themselves as an ‘easy lay’ or a ‘slut.’ Duh. These women want to be perceived as a worthwhile challenge for a man as well. So what do they do? Women who are 1s sometimes purposely give men a hard time, and women who are 2s maintain the duplicitous, disingenuous façade of being prudish and sexually conservative in their habits. (If you have read Chapter Six in Mode One, I introduced you to the terms, Wholesome Pretenders and Erotic Hypocrites. Without getting bogged down with lengthy definitions again, a Wholesome Pretender is a woman who is basically a “1” or a “2,” but loves to present herself to men as a “3,” a “4” or a “5.” Same with an Erotic Hypocrite, only an Erotic Hypocrite is much more materialistic and social status-oriented than a Wholesome Pretender). As I said in that chapter in Mode One, I do not blame most women for exhibiting sexually duplicitous behavior. Men are far too judgmental towards women’s sexuality than they should be. My attitude is this: Either you want to have sex with a woman, or you do not. It is that simple. Technically, it should not even matter if a woman is a 1, 2, or 3, if your interest is

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specifically casual sex. Again, the men who go after 4s and 5s are typically men with very huge egos. I was invited to speak at a men’s attraction and seduction conference that was held in London, England in November 2010. On the second day of the two-day conference, a wellknown “pick up artist” (or DayGamer as he would be referred to) and I had a mildly contentious exchange. Why? Because he tried to suggest that Mode One Behavior (i.e., letting your sexual desires and interests be known to a woman in a confident, upfront, straightforwardly honest manner) was ineffective. Particularly toward women who are 3s, 4s and 5s. He went on to say that the only women that Mode One would work on would be 1s and 2s, and he considers women like that “beneath his standards.” Actually, this guy was half-right – and half full of judgmental bullshit. Mode One will not work on a woman who is a true 5. A woman who is a true 5 is not at all interested in engaging in short-term or non-monogamous sex. She is only interested in long-term and monogamous sex, preferably with her spouse. Same generally applies to a woman who is a true 4. The only way you are really going to get a true 4 or true 5 to have casual sex with you is if you essentially “trick” them into having (casual) sex with you using manipulative tactics, which is essentially what most “pick up artists” (PUAs) teach you to do. I am not in any way, shape or form in favor of trying to ‘trick’ a woman into having sex with me. That is unethical and wrong. For him to turn his nose down on women who are 1s, 2s and 3s is crazy and extremely judgmental in my book. If a man’s primary interest is a long-term monogamous relationship, I could halfway understand why he might turn his nose down on a woman who is a 1 or a 2, but for casual sex?

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My question is, do you want a pleasurable orgasm … or do you want an egotistical conquest? I want the former. I grew out of the “conquest” stage by the time I was in my early-to-mid 20s. I do not have sex with women for the primary purpose of bragging to my male friends that I ‘banged a hot woman.’ If men stopped being so damn egotistical and judgmental, more women would be upfront and genuine with men about where they are coming from sexually (I’ll admit: sometimes, members of my own gender get on my last, fucking nerve). So again, because of men’s bullshit philosophies and attitudes like this PUA / DayGamer in London, you now have a lot of 1s and 2s pretending to be 3s, 4s and 5s, instead of having all women be genuine 1s, 2s, 3s, 4s and 5s. Luckily, this is where Mode One Behavior, and the additional advice I am going to provide in this book, comes into play to help you out. Mode One Behavior is valuable and effective primarily because it helps a man distinguish between a woman who is a “true 4” or “true 5” from a woman who is a “2 pretending to be a 4 or 5.” This is the #1 concept that most PUA types fail to teach single men who are looking to become master seducers. If all men were objectively-minded and avoided highhorse judgments of women’s sexuality, more women would be enthusiastically receptive to engaging in brief episodes of hot, kinky, spontaneous casual sex. Fact: no woman wants to be perceived as, or categorized as, a ‘ho’, a ‘slut’, or an ‘easy lay’ simply because she loves sex as much as YOU do. Do you quickly and easily have sex with every beautiful or sexy woman who invites you to? I am going to tell you this key tip right now: If you are a single heterosexual man looking to improve your opportunities for getting laid, and particularly, getting women to engage in more episodes of short-term or non-monogamous sex with you, you need to possess these two characteristics:

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- Learn how to be private and discreet. Do not have sex with women, and then turn around and tell all of your close male friends, fraternity brothers, and other male associates and acquaintances about all the “juicy details.” Some women really don’t care what other people think, so they won’t care if you have a big mouth and tend to ‘kiss & tell’ with your buddies; but the vast majority of women are going to be turned off by this. - Practice being non-judgmental toward women’s sexual habits and activities. Quit calling a woman a ‘ho’ or a ‘slut’ simply because she gave you some pussy during your first or second date with her. Be flattered! She found you so attractive that she wanted to have sex with you on the first or second date. If you do not want anything long-term or monogamous with her, then simply avoid giving that woman the impression that you do want more. But don’t turn around and say stupid shit like, “Aw man, that chick Linda I met at the party is a ho. She sucked my dick after my first dinner date with her. What a slut.” I hear guys in their late teens or 20s make dumb comments like this all the time. He who lives in a glass house should not be throwing stones. That is stupid. I guarantee you: once most women (and particularly “2s, 3s, and 4s”) identify you as a man with a really big “kiss & tell” mouth or a man who is unnecessarily and harshly judgmental, your opportunities for hot, kinky casual sex with desirable women are going to dry up, and dry up quick. Realistically, very few men reading this book expect to seduce a “true 5” and probably feel like there is no need for verbal seduction skills when interacting with a “1” since 1s are supposed to be “easy lays” anyway. The vast majority of men reading this book are looking to seduce 2s and 3s, and possibly 4s. The challenge for you with most women you meet is going to be determining, “is this woman a true 4? Or is she a ‘1’ or a ‘2’ pretending to be a ‘3’ or a ‘4?’

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Also, as a man, you have to look out for the reverse. Some women who are really a 4 or a 5 will give you the misleading impression that they are a 1 or a 2. Why would a woman who is a ‘4’ pretend to be a ‘2’? In order to secure flattering attention, entertaining social companionship, empathetic listening ears, and financial and non-financial favors. Many men generally refer to these women as “Attention Whores” and “Cock Teasers.” In the same manner that I am harshly critical of men who lie to women and mislead them into believing they want something long-term and monogamous, when they really just want casual sex, I am equally critical of women who use the pretense of sexual companionship in order to play head games with guys, or receive financial and non-financial favors from them. Karma is a mutha fucka. I already said to the men that if you fuck over a woman, and play with her emotions, you might catch the wrong woman at the wrong time, and end up having your car tires slashed. Same thing holds true for women. Avoid “cock-teasing” guys. Some women think this is fun, but you might cock-tease one guy who may turn out to be mentally disturbed (i.e., crazy). No woman needs a crazy stalker. You notice I have a major underlying theme in just about all of my advice? Do not engage in manipulative head games with members of the opposite sex. It is totally unnecessary. Bottom line: Stay away from being a psychological victim of the Madonna / Whore Complex. It is a lose-lose scenario. You won’t get laid as much as you want to, and the women you perceive as “prudish good girls” will more than likely end up being sexually unsatisfied (because you only show your real kinky side to the women you perceive as ‘freaks,’ ‘sluts’ and ‘whore’ types anyway! Be real: You only want the ‘good girl’ type as a pretty ‘trophy’ on your shoulder at social events!)

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My final thoughts for this preface section: Do not try to get women who are true 4s and true 5s to have casual sex. You will leave these women psychologically and emotionally damaged, and in the long-run, they will not trust many men. Only pursue these women if your genuine interest is long-term and monogamous sex. If your primary interest is short-term or non-monogamous sex, you should stick with pursuing women who are 1s, 2s and 3s. Women who are genuinely open to the idea of engaging in regular, semi-regular or occasional episodes of hot, kinky, spontaneous casual sex. This way, you have no regrets … and they have no regrets. No bitterness between the genders. You want to learn how to use the power of words to break through the disingenuous, prudish façade of a “1 pretending to be a 3” or a “2 pretending to be a 4 or 5”? If you want to learn how to bring out a woman’s “Inner Freak,” then continue reading my friend.

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PART ONE: The Basics of the Verbal Seduction Mindset This book is divided into two parts: The “self-help” portion (Part One) and the “examples of talking dirty to women” portion (Part Two). The stories in Part Two are fictional, but they are based on real life dialogue and real life scenarios I have had with women over the last 20-25 years. The self-help portion (which is pretty much geared exclusively toward my male readers) is designed to provide you with what I feel are just about all of the psychological and verbal fundamentals of seducing a woman of interest. Part One is divided into five chapters: Chapter One Social Programming: The #1 obstacle to seducing women Chapter Two If women love sex just as much as men, why all of the negative reactions in response to X-rated dirty talk? Chapter Three Developing Self-Confidence that is so strong, that it makes women feel “uncomfortable” Chapter Four Sexual Chemistry: Unpredictable

The Good, The Bad,

and The

Chapter Five The Hypnotic Effect of Aural Sex: Using the power of words to break through a woman’s social programming I have found that most women tend to present themselves to men, and the general public, as being much more prudish and erotically conservative than they really are, behind closed doors.

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Virtually all women have an “inner kinky freak” side to them (True 5s excluded). The question is not so much, “is she kinky or is she prudish?” but rather, “is she going to reveal her kinky side to ME, or is she going to indefinitely ‘hold back’ and only show me her conservative, prudish side?” Not all women want all men to know how kinky they are. I have known a woman to engage in a threesome with two men she just met, but turn around and make another man wait three months or longer before allowing him to have sex with her. As a matter of fact, I once conducted an informal survey among some women who posted on the “Love & Relationships” message board forum on AskMen.com, in 2004. I asked them how willing they would be to engage in very open-minded, freespirited, ‘kinky’ sex, such as group sex. Most of the women who responded indicated that they have either only engaged in a handful of episodes of really kinky sex, or at minimum, they have regularly entertained the thought and fantasy of engaging in very hot, raw, super-kinky sex. What was most surprising to many on the message board, was that most of the women said they would rather engage in really kinky sex with men (and possibly other women, for those with bisexual tendencies) who they did not know that well, and would probably never see or talk to again. I was one of the few who were not surprised. I know exactly why many women are this way. In the upcoming chapters, I will share with you why so many women are sexually duplicitous and tend to present themselves as ‘fake prudes.’ Then, I will show you how to use the power of words and erotic language as a powerful tool to break through many women’s disingenuous, prudish façades.

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Chapter One Social Programming: The #1 obstacle to seducing women If you have read my second paperback, Upfront and Straightforward, you already know that I divide women of interest into four general categories: Reciprocators: Women who want you to have sex with them at some point in the near or distant future, and they have no problem letting you know this; Rejecters: Women who do NOT want you to have sex with them at any point in the future, and they have no problem letting you know this; Pretenders: Women who want you to have sex with them at some point in the near or distant future, but they will temporarily or indefinitely “pretend” they are not attracted to you, and are not particularly enthusiastic about sharing your company; Timewasters: Women who, for the most part, are NOT attracted to you romantically or sexually, but they will temporarily or indefinitely give you the misleading impression that they are willing to potentially have sex with you, in order to motivate you to flatter and entertain them, be an empathetic listening ear when they are frustrated, or provide financial and non-financial favors when they need a helping hand; Here is the ‘bad’ news: If you are spending a lot of hours, days, weeks and months trying to get women who are ‘Rejecters’ and ‘Timewasters’ into bed, you are truly wasting your (valuable) time.

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This is arguably the #2 biggest mistake I see many single, heterosexual men make with women. The #1 mistake is not approaching women at all, because of the fear of being rejected, blown off, criticized, insulted or humiliated. Plain and simple, there are just some women who are never, never, ever, ever going to date you or have sex with you. The quicker you accept that and deal with it, the less time you will waste pursuing women in an unproductive manner. There is a term for men who persistently continue to pursue a woman, particularly in an aggressive manner, even though she has already made it crystal clear that she is not attracted or interested in having sex with you: It is called stalking. Do not allow yourself to be perceived as a psycho-stalker. Once you get that reputation, it is hard to shake. Then there are some women who might be attracted to you, and possibly interested in having sex, but they are not at all interested in any form of casual sex. This brings me back to my categorization of where women fall on the erotically inhibited VS erotically uninhibited scale of “1” to “5.” If a woman is attracted to you, but she is a “5,” you are not going to get her in bed. Do not even waste your time trying to. Again, a woman who is a “5” is barely interested in premarital sex, let alone casual sex. I have dated at least three or four women in my life long-term who were genuine 5s. I had sex with two of those women, and because our relationship did not end in marriage, those women regretted having sex with me. Some men argue that ‘ethics’ has no place in the pursuit of casual sex. I argue that it does. Leave those 5s alone. I would take it a step further and say leave the 4s alone too. You know all of those women walking around right now saying things like “all men are dogs” or “all men are pigs?” Those are women

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who used to be 5s, but because they got ‘tricked’ or manipulated into having sex, they are now very bitter 4s. I am not going to force you to follow all of my advice, but my best recommendation is to not pursue true 4s and true 5s for casual sex … even if some of those women happen to find you attractive and appealing. Let these women save their bodies for men who are genuinely interested in a long-term monogamous relationship with them. Don’t mislead them. If you do get a true 4 or true 5 in bed, there is a 99.99% chance that it is going to be because you lied, misled or manipulated them in some sort of way. I guarantee that it won’t be because you were upfront and straightforwardly honest about your desire for short-term non-monogamous sex. Now, on to the women who you should be pursuing for (casual) sex. The 1s, 2s and 3s. At least two-thirds of the women who are 1s are going to be Reciprocators. Nine times out of ten, they are not going to play games, unless they are a Wholesome Pretender (i.e., a “1” pretending to be a “3,” “4,” or “5”). However, usually it is the 2s and 3s that try to present themselves as 4s and 5s. Again, this is where Mode One Behavior comes into play. For now, let us push the “Timewasters” to the side, and just concentrate on the Reciprocators, Rejecters and most importantly, the [Wholesome] Pretenders. Right in between enthusiastic reciprocation and abrupt rejection is “resistance” or “reluctance.” Why do we ‘resist’ some things that we want? Let me break it down to you as if I am talking to a 10th grader. I love German Chocolate cake. Absolutely love it. German Chocolate cake, Peach Cobbler, Mexican Wedding Cakes

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(cookies), Lemon Cheesecake (homemade), and homemade ice cream are my Top 5 favorite desserts. Quite naturally, if I am on a diet (let’s say, a low-carb diet) and trying to get my body fat percentage down way low, I am not trying to binge on German Chocolate cake. What would prevent me from “cheating” and eating a slice? My own justifications for resistance. Justifications for resistance come from days, weeks, months or years of psychologically “brainwashing” yourself that something is both “desirable & pleasurable,” but yet, “detrimental in the long-run.” German Chocolate cake: Why it is desirable & pleasurable: Taste great. Makes my taste buds happy. I love the frosting, and I love pecans. What is it detrimental: Will throw me off of my diet. Cause me to gain weight and possibly become fat. Too much sugar can potentially give me cavities or worse, diabetes. When something is completely desirable, and virtually no “downside,” then we tend to have an easy choice on our hands: to accept what is offered, and reciprocate what is proposed. On the flip side, when something offers nothing but detriments and drawbacks, and very few benefits, that also makes it easy for us to reject the offer, or decline the invitation. At any given point in time, all of us human beings are guided by one of two types of behavior, if not both: our “impulsive” side and our “rational” side. I am not a licensed psychologist, so I am not going to attempt to get “too academic” about this, but generally speaking, even many in the field of psychology would agree that what I am saying is valid.

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Each and every day, we have literally hundreds if not thousands of raw desires and emotional impulses running through our minds constantly. As a man, have you ever been around a really attractive, sexy woman, and you just wanted to impulsively squeeze her tits or grab her ass? What stopped you? Have you ever had someone make you so angry, that you literally contemplated stabbing them with a knife or shooting them with a gun? What stopped you? Have you ever had your boss get on your nerves to the point where you wanted to curse them out AND flip up your middle finger? What stopped you? Your conscious mind stopped you. The part of your mind that is the “gatekeeper” of your thoughts and impulses. The part of your mind that generally knows what is “right” or “wrong,” “ethical” or “unethical,” “legal” or “illegal,” and “appropriate” or “inappropriate.” Were you born with a natural sense of ‘right’ vs. ‘wrong’? To a degree, yes. For the most part, no. Most of what we deem as ‘appropriate’ behavior vs. ‘inappropriate’ behavior comes from what is known as our “social conditioning” or “social programming.” When I spoke in London in November 2010 at the Direct Approach Dating Summit for Men, there were no two words I used more frequently, particularly when talking about why women behave the way they do … than “social programming.” If you are a rational, objective-minded, obedient citizen of society, your social programming governs just about everything you do, or avoid doing. Most of your morals, values, ethics and personal principles come from your social programming. When many of your raw desires and emotional impulses say, “Yes!” your social programming says, “No!” even louder. When your raw desires and emotional impulses say, “I want that!” your social programming yells out, “you DON’T NEED that!”

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Have you ever watched a cartoon, and they had a character that had a little “angel” on the right shoulder, and a little “devil” on the left shoulder? You can say, in a manner of speaking, that your social programming is the “little angel” of your mind, and your raw desires and emotional impulses are the “little devil” of your mind. Whichever voice speaks loudest in your mind at any given point in time, is the voice you will listen to. You ever meet people, such as certain teenagers, who are very rebellious in nature? You tend to become rebellious toward others, and toward society, when you are in a phase where you want to obey your impulsive side more than your social programming side. High school students experience this a lot. Many people, and particularly many teenagers, view social programming as the portion of their mind that offers boring, conventional advice, and their impulsive side as the portion that can create spontaneous excitement, and more social enjoyment. There is only one thing worse than being rebellious. You ever interact with someone who doesn’t really seem to have a social programming side? No rational, objective-mind at all? Just about all of their behavior is impetuous and impulsive? Most psychopaths and sociopaths are like this. Again, I do not want to get too technical or too academic, but in layman’s terms, that is the basis behind people who are typically perceived as “delusional,” “psychotic,” “mentally insane,” “mentally disturbed,” or simply “crazy.” These people have no conscious sense of “right vs. wrong” or “appropriate vs. inappropriate.” Their mind operates primarily, or even exclusively, on their raw desires and emotional impulses.

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A rebellious person is usually, at their psychological core, sane. They are consciously aware of the fact that they are going against the recommendations of their social programming. A ‘crazy’ person does not even realize that social programming even exists. At minimum, the ‘volume of the inner voice’ of their social programming is so low, that they never hear it, or consciously acknowledge or adhere to it. We all have our moments when we give in to our raw desires and emotional impulses more so than the rational, logical, objective, social programming side of our minds. You ever had your life threatened? You ever had your sense of survival threatened? (Warning: MOVIE SPOILER ALERT coming!!) Remember the climactic scene in the suspense thriller, Se7en? With Morgan Freeman and Brad Pitt?? Do you think Pitt’s character listened to his social programming side? Or his emotionally impulsive side? If you saw the climactic scene in that film, you saw Brad Pitt’s character sorting through his emotions while listening to the reasoning of his law partner (Morgan Freeman’s character). In that moment, Pitt’s character was experiencing an ‘internal conflict.’ His raw, emotional impulses were at war with his social programming. In the end, his emotional side won. I can name at least a handful of times in my life where I “snapped” (i.e., experienced “temporary insanity”). I think most of us have, either once, twice or three times at a minimum. Publicly or privately. When you ‘snap,’ your entire mind is being controlled by your raw desires and your emotional impulses. The voice of your rational thinking and social programming has been silenced and temporarily disabled. Returning to the subject of sexual seduction, you are generally going to run into three scenarios in your attempt to seduce a woman:

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Scenario #1: Full Reciprocation Your Desire: You want to fuck the woman of interest Your Action(s): You let her know upfront and straightforwardly that you want to exchange orgasms with her Her Thought Process: She cannot identify a valid reason NOT to have sex with you End Result: You end up having sex with this woman. Scenario #2: Abrupt Rejection Your Desire: You want to fuck the woman of interest Your Action(s): You let her know upfront and straightforwardly that you want to exchange orgasms with her Her Thought Process: She perceives you as “not being her type,” and she has absolutely NO INTEREST in premarital sex or short-term, non-monogamous sex End Result: This woman ends up letting you know, in one way or another, that she simply is not interested in sharing your company in an intimate manner. She abruptly ends the conversation. Scenario #3: The woman is reluctant & is RESISTING you Your Desire: You want to fuck the woman of interest Your Action(s): You let her know upfront and straightforwardly that you want to exchange orgasms with her Her Thought Process: Raw Desire & Emotional Impulse Voice: “He is handsome. He is sexy. He is confident. I want to allow him to have sex with me!!” Social Programming Voice: “You are an innocent, wholesome GOOD GIRL!!! If you have sex with him too quickly or too easily, he will perceive you as a ‘whore’ or a ‘slut’!! Don’t give into your carnal desires!!” End Result: She continues chatting with you, but starts making statements like, “I am a respectable woman!” and “I am not some easy lay!!” She emphasizes that she is ideally looking for a long-term monogamous relationship.

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Realistically, for the situations presented in Scenario #1 and Scenario #2, you don’t need the advice offered in this book. Scenario #1 demonstrates that not all sex happens as a direct result of seduction. I know some men, such as professional athletes, singers, musicians and other Entertainment Industry celebrities and public figure types that rarely, if ever, need to truly “seduce” a woman in order to have sex with them. There are some men who just “have it.” God bless their hearts. They can just do whatever it is they do, and women will “throw the pussy at them.” I have had those moments myself with certain women. There have been some women who I have had sex with, where I did not really do anything or say anything out of the ordinary. The woman liked my physical appearance and overall level of confidence, and she simply gave me a “green light” to fuck her. Gotta love those moments, if you experience them. Verbal Seduction Rule #1: Do not attempt to seduce a woman into having sex with you in situations where the use of verbal seduction skills is not really needed. If a woman you approached is just really, really attracted to you, and even more so, really, really horny, there is no need to go into “seduction mode.” Just get down to business. For Scenario #2, you did your part. You let the woman know where you were coming from, and she let you know straightforwardly that she was not on the same page. Leave her alone and move on to the next woman of interest. Too many men waste too much time (and money) becoming overlypersistent with women who have clearly rejected them. LET IT GO. Remember what I said about pursuing women who are “4s” and “5s?” Leave those women alone. Go after the 1s, 2s and 3s.

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Lying to women, misleading women and manipulating women is not representative of seduction. Would you want someone to sell you a vegetarian entrée item that actually had small bits of beef and chicken in it? No. No one wants to pay money for a product or service that is not representative of what was advertised. That is false advertising and is highly unethical. I will repeat this ad nauseam: Do not try to get women to engage in short-term or non-monogamous sex, by giving them the misleading impression that you want long-term or monogamous sex. I don’t care what argument you try to come up with, it is just plain wrong. You are asking for bad karma. Verbal Seduction Rule #2: The primary purpose of seduction is to counteract and overcome a woman’s feelings of indifference, reluctance or resistance; Seduction is not representative of becoming annoyingly persistent, misleading or manipulative, in response to a woman rejecting you. It is only for situations like Scenario #3, that I chose to write this book and offer some of my best advice. Situations where a woman is not fully reciprocating your sexual desires and interests, but she is not abruptly rejecting you either. Remember Scarlett Johansson’s character, Cristina in the Woody Allen romantic comedy, Vicky Cristina Barcelona? In this film, the character of Juan Antonio (wonderfully played by Javier Bardem) exhibits a lot of ‘Mode One’ behavior. Juan proposes a ménage-a-trois with Cristina and Vicky, Vicky immediately has an adverse reaction, but Cristina is, for the most part, down with Juan’s program. Cristina lets Juan know that she’s not going to give up the pussy too easily though. “You have to seduce me…” Cristina says to Juan.

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Quick recap thus far: 1) The first factor that is going to affect whether you have an ‘easy’ time seducing a woman or a more challenging time, depends on how much of a woman’s social programming you have to break through. A woman who is a genuine “5” adheres to the voice of her social programming, virtually all the time. She wants to get married, and she generally cares about what society thinks of her. On the flip side, a woman who is a “1” listens more to the voice of her raw desires and emotional impulses. She doesn’t care what other people think of her sexual habits and activities. 2) Sometimes, you simply do not need to seduce a woman. If a woman finds your physical appearance attractive, or your overall attitude, demeanor, disposition, behavior, and manner of verbal expression appealing and sexy, a woman will simply give you the ‘green light’ to have sex with her. 3) Lying to women, misleading women, or manipulating women to get them in bed is highly unethical, and is not representative of effective seduction. Do not try to ‘trick’ women into having sex. 4) Do not waste time constantly pursuing a woman who has already made it clear that she has very little, if any, interest in sharing your company in a romantic or sexual manner. Move on to the next woman of interest.

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Chapter Two If women love sex just as much as men, why some of the negative reactions in response to X-rated dirty talk? Many women are so good at being sexually duplicitous, that they leave men confused and in the dark about their true sexuality. There are some men who believe women don’t like sex at all (I know … crazy huh?). Most women LOVE sex. Let me make this clear: All women have a libido. All women have a desire for sex, to one degree or another. As I alluded to in Chapter One and my previous books, there are many women who know how to do a good job of ‘pretending’ as though they are indifferent toward enjoyable sex and pleasurable orgasms, but trust me … for the vast majority of women, that is an “act.” A performance. A façade. Just about all women get horny. Now granted, there are some women who have had very bad sexual experiences that have left them deeply scarred. I am very sympathetic to these women. Some of these women have been raped, date-raped, sexually assaulted, or even sexually abused when they were children or teenagers by their own family members, relatives, and others who they trusted. Many of these women will always associate the act of sex with regret, guilt, bad feelings, anger, frustration and bitterness. These women are the exception, rather than the norm. Many women, even if their experiences associated with sex have been generally ‘good’ experiences, will still offer an adverse reaction to a man who attempts to engage them in a sexually provocative and erotically explicit conversation. Why? If most women love sex just as much as men do, why would they have any sort of ‘negative’ reaction to erotic dirty talk or a lengthy, detailed discussion about sex?

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First, refer back to Chapter One. In two words, social programming. Most women are raised and socially conditioned to present themselves as “wife material,” for a man who is financially secure and self-sufficient, with good morals, values and ethics, and willing to take care of her and her children. Most women are brought up by their parents and elders to believe that very few, if any, men will have a desire to propose marriage to a woman with a “questionable past” (i.e., a woman who has a history of frequent episodes of kinky or promiscuous sex). To a degree, her parents’ assumptions are valid. Many men are blatant hypocrites when it comes to sex. As I mentioned in my preface, many men are very, very judgmental toward the sexual habits and activities of women. Not only are there men who are judgmental about women, towards whom they look at as “girlfriend” or “wife material,” I have conversed with men who were judgmental towards women, about whom they were only interested in casual sex. Men, if you think women are generally “full of shit” and full of head games regarding sex, take one look in the mirror and see who is to blame. That’s right … YOU. I know that some men reading this right now are probably saying, “Whoa! Are you on THEIR SIDE, Alan? Why are you blasting us? What did we do? Aren’t women the ones most guilty of being lying, scandalous, manipulative game players?” Make no mistake. Very few women are “innocent, wholesome angels.” They have their share of flaws and weaknesses which I will cover in detail throughout this book. The United States of America is primarily a Judeo-Christian society, which promotes a lot of conservative, puritanical values when it comes to dating and relationships, particularly sex.

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Casual sex will never be promoted in this society as an acceptable form of sex. Long-term and monogamous sexual relationships, and particularly marriage, will always be the ideal standard in American society and many other countries. Realistically, most men do not want just any man fucking their mother, sister(s) or daughter(s). Men are just hypocritical that way. Men want to fuck YOUR mother, YOUR sister, and YOUR daughter, but we do not want any man doing the same to a female relative of ours. Many of us are ready to pull out a shotgun if a guy tries to seduce our daughter(s) into casual sex. Did you see the romantic comedy, Crazy, Stupid, Love starring Steve Carrell and Ryan Gosling? (Warning: MOVIE SPOILER!) Steve Carrell’s character was cool with Ryan Gosling’s character (who was a prolific womanizer), until he found out that Ryan Gosling’s character was dating and fucking his daughter. Then, Carrell’s character flipped the fuck out. Want to test a friendship? Tell one of your close male friends that you want to have casual sex with his mother, sister, or daughter. There is at least a fifty-percent chance that this close friend of yours will either a) curse you the fuck out, or worse, b) try to punch you in the face. Most men can handle one of their friends having sex with their sister if it is within the context of a long-term monogamous relationship. Casually? One night-stand? Weekend fling? Hell no. The next time you are tempted to criticize women for behaving in a prudish manner toward you, in response to a sexual advance, don’t be too quick to blame women. Instead, look at many of the fellow members of your own gender. This is one of the many reasons why a good number of women suffer from internal conflicts. A lot of women have the raw desire and emotional impulse to engage in hot, kinky, casual sex, but their more conservative social programming starts offering various justifications for resistance.

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Let us take another look at the “1” to “5” scale of women who are erotically inhibited and prudish VS. those women who are more open-minded, free-spirited and erotically uninhibited:

5s Women who are genuine 5s are looking to get married, with the exception of those women who might want to join a convent or a monastery and become a nun, or a woman who suffered a high degree of sexual trauma in her life, and now is completely disinterested in enjoying herself sexually, in any way at all. Women who are true 5s are going to adhere to their social programming in the most strict, disciplined, and consistent manner. Women who are true 5s usually frown on the idea of both casual sex and premarital sex. If you attempt to “talk dirty” to a woman who is a genuine 5, there is probably a 99.9% chance that she is going to be completely turned off. Especially if your erotic dirty talk includes X-rated or XXX-rated language and descriptions. If you attempt to engage a true 5 in erotic dirty talk, they will probably let you know their disinterest with their body language, more so than their words. Nine times out of ten, they will not become dramatic, antagonistic or insulting with their words. They will not “go off” on you. They will just quickly and calmly find a way to end their conversation with you, and eventually avoid conversing with you ever again. For women who are true 5s, marriage is not about enjoyable sex and pleasurable orgasms. Marriage is about building a family, raising healthy children with good values, and being financially secure. Enjoyable sex is a very secondary priority for most true 5s, and for some, not even a priority at all.

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4s A woman who is a genuine “4” has her share of erotically uninhibited thoughts and kinky fantasies. She has a very ‘normal’ and healthy sex drive. A woman who is a 4 simply cares a lot about her image and reputation, and what other people think. She does not want to be criticized, and she does not want men or other women passing judgment on her sexual choices, behavior or activities. Women who are true 4s are not as adverse to premarital sex as women who are 5s. These are the women who at some point in history created the concept of the “long-term boyfriend and girlfriend” relationship that is so common in society. A boyfriend-girlfriend relationship holds a benefit for both the man and the woman involved. For the woman, this type of relationship is a way to engage in premarital sex without risking your reputation. Very few men or women will label you a ‘ho,’ a ‘slut,’ or an ‘easy lay’ if you are having sex on a regular basis with a man who you refer to as your ‘boyfriend.’ A woman with a high sex drive who does not want to be labeled is always going to gravitate toward a ‘boyfriend-girlfriend’ relationship. If a woman has sex with five guys in three years in a very casual manner, many of her close friends might begin to perceive her as somewhat “promiscuous.” If a woman dates five men for an average of six months each under the guise of a “boyfriend-girlfriend” relationship in a three year period, very few men or women will criticize her. Put it under the “looking at four ounces of water in an eight ounce glass as either half-full or half-empty” scenario. Same thing – different perception. For the man, you send off a signal to other men that your ‘girlfriend’ is “off limits” as far as them making sexual advances or engaging in highly flirtatious behavior toward your steady lady. Calling her your ‘girlfriend’ is like ‘marking your territory.’

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Men are very egotistical and territorial. This is why a lot of men cheat. Men, as a group, do not put nearly as much emphasis on monogamy as women do, as a group. Many men want to have sex with dozens of women, but they do not want any other man having sex with their favorite sex partner or the mother of their children. So, they cheat. Most men do not believe in that concept of “what’s good for the goose is good for the gander.” There is nothing “legal” about a ‘boyfriend-girlfriend’ relationship. That categorization is just an informal “title.” A label. Truth? In the big picture, the title of ‘boyfriend’ and ‘girlfriend’ means jack shit. Women who are true 4s are generally going to frown on the idea of casual, non-monogamous sex. If you try to engage a true 4 in a sexually provocative conversation, you are probably going to receive a less-than-enthusiastic reaction from them. Their reaction won’t be as prudish as a true 5, but they are not going to be receptive. They might be amused or entertained. A woman who is a true 4 is one that does not necessarily agree with all of the social conditioning and brainwashing that she has absorbed over the years, but again, she can’t help but to care what other people think of her. Women who are true 4s have thin-skin, and harsh criticisms and judgmental insults genuinely do affect them in a negative manner. You know when a true 4 will “let her hair down” and show you her real kinky, freaky side? When she is in a long-term relationship with you – or, interesting enough – when she is in a long-term monogamous relationship with another (more prudish) man. Women who are true 4s have been known to cheat on their boyfriends or husbands. So, they can be susceptible to a “kinky affair” if their steady companion is a sexual fuddy-duddy. But again, if they are single, they are going to avoid indulging in short term or non-monogamous sex.

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3s The #1 preference of a woman who is a genuine 3 is to be in a long-term monogamous relationship, but they have no problem indulging in some form of casual sex with the right partner. A woman who is a 3 is very selective about who she has casual sex with. She will not drop her panties for just any guy with a handsome face, or charming personality. Women who are 3s tend to be very private and discreet about their casual sex encounters. They “kinda, sorta” care what other people think, but they also “kinda, sorta” don’t. Women who are 3s generally do not have an adverse reaction to a man who tries to engage them in a sexually provocative conversation. If they are attracted to you, and feel some chemistry between you two, they will flow with the conversation. If they do not find you appealing, they will simply let you know that they are not interested in any type of lengthy or detailed conversation that centers on sex. Most true 4s and true 5s are the women who will typically avoid engaging in manipulative “head games” with men. A woman who is a 3 might pretend to be a “4” or “5” at times, but not usually. Women who are 3s are not prudish, but if they get some good dick, they want it regularly. In other words, 3s are not too fond of one-night stands or weekend flings. They would much prefer to have a long-term “fuck buddy” or be involved in a “friends with benefits” type relationship. With a 3, you have to be confident and bring your “A” game, because most of the time, other men will be competing with you for the attention and sexual companionship of a 3 (I will talk about confidence in more detail, and how it affects women’s sexual responses to you, in the very next chapter).

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2s In my estimation, women who are 2s are going to be the “trickiest,” most manipulative, and most duplicitous of all of the five general groups of women. Whenever I talk about women who are Wholesome Pretenders or Erotic Hypocrites, I am usually referring to women who have the erotic nature of a “2”. The first thing you have to remember about women who are 2s, is that they really do not want you to know that they are a 2. More often than not, a woman who is a 2 is going to present herself as a 4 or a 5, and at minimum, a 3. A woman who is a 2 is like a sexual chameleon. If she is in the company of a man who she knows can see through her disingenuous, prudish façade, she will get as raw and kinky as she thinks that man wants her to be, assuming that she is attracted to him. On the other hand, if she is in the company of a guy who immediately puts her on a pedestal, and she perceives him as being somewhat naïve or more conservative, prudish and monogamous than she is, she will quickly look to present herself as more of a “4” or a “5”. Men who suffer from the aforementioned Madonna / Whore Complex tend to want to date and marry women who are very classy, conservative and prudish (i.e., 5s), but they want to have sex on the side with women who very raw, kinky, promiscuous and submissive (1s and 2s). They do not want their wives to be kinky, and they do not want their mistresses to be prudish in any way whatsoever. This is the same with a woman who is a “2”. 2s do not want to date or marry a man who is really kinky or very promiscuous. They only want to have sex with those types in a casual manner. 2s want to marry a man who is a “nice guy,” with good morals, values, and principles, and who earns enough money to take care of himself, her, and their potential children.

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The only men who 2s want to have kinky, casual sex with are those who are good at identifying and breaking down their social façades, and more importantly, men who they feel are going to be really, really good in bed. These women know how to separate the concept of “love” from “good sex” (in the same way that most womanizing men can). If you have ever met a woman who was very conservative with her husband or boyfriend, but then you found out later that she was participating in orgies and group sex with other men on the side, this is a classic example of a woman who is a 2. These women are extremely hypocritical and duplicitous when it comes to their sexual habits, preferences and activities. If you attempt to verbally seduce a 2, initially she is going to “test you.” She is going to see if you are really an Alpha Male or “bad boy” type – or if you are PRETENDING to be one. If she perceives you as a ‘beta male’ who is looking to get laid, she is going to tear you a new one. This is the type of woman that if you say something really X-rated or XXX-rated, you can never, ever apologize. Never. If you do – you are dead meat. I have had many interactions with 2s, and I have broken them down the vast majority of the time. I know their game. Just about all 2s will initially come across as prudes or semiprudes, but in reality, they are “fake prudes.” I have literally met women who cursed me out for 10-15 minutes for being “too Xrated,” only to turn around and suck my dick and lick my balls an hour or two later, after I broke them down. When I lived in Los Angeles, I met a lot of these women. Dozens of them. When they were around clean-cut, naïve, conservative, church-going type men, they would behave like a 4 or a 5. When they were around more urban, raw, street-wise, perceptive, egotistically indifferent “bad boy” types of men, they would show their true (kinky) colors, almost immediately.

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Verbal Seduction Rule #3: If you are going to commit an ‘error’ in your assumption about a woman’s sexuality, it is always better to assume that a woman who behaves like a 4 or a 5 is actually a 2, than to assume that a woman who is really a 2 is a 4 or a 5. If your mistake is the former, you’ll get a second chance; If your mistake is the latter, that woman will never reveal her “inner freak” to you. Most of the advice you have received from my books, Mode One and Upfront and Straightforward, as well as the remainder of this book, is primarily going to apply to women who are 1s, 2s, 3s and possibly 4s. There is no advice needed for women who are genuine 5s. And speaking of 1s . . .

1s Any woman who is a street prostitute, professional Call Girl or Erotic Escort, or an adult film actress, would qualify as a 1. Even some of the women who may look like your “All-American Girl Next Door” are 1s. Don’t let the “innocent face” fool you. A woman who is a 1 is essentially someone who is very kinky, and to one degree or another, very promiscuous. She does not give a fuck who knows about her sexual habits and activities or who passes judgment on them. She is who she is, and if you don’t like it, that is your problem. Not hers. On the positive side, women who are 1s will usually avoid engaging in “head games” with you. They are usually secure in who they are and what they want. They feel no need to put on a prudish façade for their friends or for the general public. If a woman who is a 2, 3, or 4 were to be videotaped having sex, they would try their best to hide it from their family, friends and co-workers. If a woman who is a 1 was videotaped having sex, they would not care who saw it. As a matter of fact, they

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would HOPE that others saw it. That is how kinky and exhibitionistic they are. Women who are 2s, 3s and 4s who are into various forms of polyamorous dating (e.g., swinging, couple swapping, open relationships/marriages, etc.) would make every effort to keep that a “secret.” A woman who is a 1 would not care if others found out. There are no ‘skeletons’ in her closet. The downside of having sex with these types of women is that if you become attached, loyalty or monogamy is not a top priority for them. Also, some men may say things to you such as, “Your new sex partner is a slut!” Will you have thick skin or thin skin? Do you care about the opinions, criticisms and expectations of others? Many egotistically insecure men do. I have had sex with women who were 1s, and I had no problems with them. Some people say, “1s are more likely to have an STD!” Bullshit. I have known women who were 3s and 4s to give men STDs as much or more than women who were 1s. Just because a woman is a 1 does not mean she does not care about her health or fails to practice safe sex. Many men lose interest in having sex with women who are 1s because they feel like 1s are not enough of an “egotistical challenge.” Yeah, right. Is the purpose of having sex to enjoy yourself and experience a pleasurable orgasm? Or is the purpose of sex to brag to your male friends that you “conquered” some woman who you perceived as a ‘challenge’ because your male friends categorize her as an “8,” “9,” or “10,” on some subjective beauty scale? Wake the fuck up fellas. I remember times when I was young, I would tell my mother that I was hungry. She would say, “I have some apples, grapes, oranges and peaches in the refrigerator.” I would say, “I don’t want any fruit. I want something really, really good!”

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I wanted a cheeseburger and fries, some pizza, some ice cream and cake, or some cookies. My mother would say, “If you do not want what I offered (the fruit), then you must not be really hungry. You just have a ‘taste’ for something. Having a taste for something is different than being truly hungry.” I know men and women who are like this when it comes to jobs. For example, for most of my adult life, if I did not have a permanent job, I would usually do “temp” work. Many of my temp assignments would range from one day to over a year. I had some men and women tell me, “I refuse to do any temp work. I will just wait until I find a [permanent] job in my chosen field.” And many of those men and women were flat broke. It is the same with the desire for sex. If you are horny, you are horny. If you want enjoyable sexual companionship, you want enjoyable companionship. I can see men being a wee bit nitpicky, and even a wee bit judgmental when it comes to choosing a woman to be your future wife, but for casual sex?? I am not suggesting that when a man wants casual sex, he should go after ‘just any woman,’ who offers a reciprocal response to his sexual advances. On the flip side however, you do not need to limit yourself to those women who qualify as legitimate candidates for Maxim Magazine’s Hot 100 List either. I will admit: My closest friends know that when it comes to long-term monogamous relationships, I am pretty selective. Particularly when it comes to a woman’s moral character and sense of honesty and integrity. I love women who are honest. When my interest is casual sex though, I just want a woman who is not a psychotic “stalker” type, a woman with no STDs, and a woman with no prudish tendencies. I want a woman with whom I can have a good time in bed. If I can find all of those qualities from a woman who is a 1, I am cool with that.

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Quick recap thus far: 1) Even women who enjoy sex may initially or indefinitely offer an adverse reaction to highly provocative, erotically explicit conversations. Generally speaking, it is a woman’s long-term relationship or marriage goals, her past sexual experiences, and her overall social programming that will determine if she is immediately receptive to a forthright sexual advance, or turned off by one. 2) Similarly, how receptive a woman is to your verbal seduction efforts depends heavily upon whether she is prudish and monogamous, or if she is more open-minded, free-spirited and erotically uninhibited. 3) A woman who is a genuine 5 is a woman who only approves of sex within the context of marriage, or a relationship that is very close in nature to marriage. Some women who are 5s may have experienced some sort of sexual trauma in their life, such as rape, date-rape, child molestation or assault. 4) Women who are 4s generally frown up on invitations to engage in casual sex, and prefer to only engage in sex when they are involved in a long-term “boyfriend-girlfriend” relationship. These women are paranoid about their reputation. 5) Women who are 3s will engage in select episodes of casual sex, but rarely will indulge in a one-night stand. 6) Women who are 2s are the most sexually duplicitous of the five types. With some men, they are very kinky and promiscuous, but with others, they will present themselves as very conservative and prudish. 7) Women who are 1s are very erotically uninhibited, and even promiscuous. They really do not care about the opinions, criticisms, and judgments of others.

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Chapter Three Developing Self-Confidence that is so strong, that it makes women feel “uncomfortable” If you pick up five self-help books for men, no less than three of them will focus on improving your degree of selfconfidence, your degree of self-assurance, or your self-esteem. Many men and women make the mistake of looking at the concept of self-confidence as something you “have” or “do not have.” That is so untrue. Self-confidence is something you use or you fail to use. Remember the Star Wars series by George Lucas? In each movie in the six-part film series, they mention the concept of “The Force.” Many of the film’s characters would say, “May The Force Be With You.” I look at a bold, fearless sense of selfconfidence as being similar to the concept of “The Force.” ‘The Force’ was identified as this supernatural, spiritual power that all individuals had access to, but not everyone knew how to utilize the full power of it. I feel the same way about selfconfidence. Most men do not know how to tap into the reservoir of psychological power, known as self-confidence. Think of your muscles. Just about every human being on earth is in possession of a set of muscles on their body. Now, if you notice, some men and women have bigger and stronger muscles than others. Most of these men and women were not just “born with” a set of big, strong muscles. Most of the men I know who have big muscles have them because they were a) constantly using their muscles, and b) they provided their muscles with a high degree of resistance.

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When you lift free weights, you are providing your muscles with some degree of resistance. In other words, in order for your muscles to become bigger, stronger or more defined, you have to work those muscles and challenge them. Your degree of self-confidence is the “psychological equivalent” to your muscles. If you rarely, if ever, use your selfconfidence, it becomes weak. If you constantly use your selfconfidence, and challenge your self-confidence, your selfconfidence becomes stronger and more powerful. If the only women you think you can attract are those who are generally unappealing, and never push yourself to approach women you find “intimidating,” to one degree or another, your confidence is never going to grow stronger. Using the subjective beauty scale of “1” to “10,” if you are a man who has traditionally only approached women who you perceived to be a “4,” “5,” or “6,” then you need to go out and start approaching women you perceive to be a “7,” “8,” “9,” or “10.” Only then will your confidence get stronger. Verbal Seduction Rule #4: In order to develop a bold, fearless sense of self-confidence and self-assurance, you should always push yourself to approach women who you find intimidating. Get out of your “comfort zone.” Always approach those women who you are the most afraid of being rejected by. Some men ask, “Won’t rejection by many women diminish your sense of self-confidence?” No. That is a myth. If you put me in a room with ten beautiful, sexy women who I find “intimidating” to some degree, and I approach and converse with all ten, my confidence is going to get stronger even if none of those ten women agree to date me or have sex with me. Taking action and conquering fears and insecurities always improves your sense of self-confidence.

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The only thing that would diminish my confidence is if I went into that same room, and I failed to say anything to any of those women. If I allowed my fear of rejection to immobilize me. Lack of taking action and giving into fear is what diminishes your sense of self-confidence – not rejection. I’m getting ready to tell you something that not too many professional Dating Coaches or Seduction Gurus will tell you: It is not always a ‘good’ thing or a ‘beneficial’ action to try to make women feel “comfortable” in your presence. Many times, when in the act of seduction, you WANT women to feel a wee bit “uncomfortable” in your presence – That “uncomfortable” feeling in a woman is what eventually elevates the degree of erotic tension between you and the woman you’re attempting to seduce. Sometimes it can be to your advantage to make a woman feel ‘comfortable’ in your presence. However often, it is the worst thing you can do. The same thing goes for making a woman feel ‘uncomfortable.’ Sometimes that works to your advantage, but often it does not. When is it a GOOD THING for a woman to feel “comfortable” in your presence? When you are already involved in a romantic relationship with a woman, or you have already engaged in sexual activity, or you know for a fact that a woman is definitely interested in dating and having sex with you, then it is okay to flow with the “comfortable” factor.

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The sparks between you two are already there. They do not have to be developed. The woman is “comfortable” because she already knows that you have not attempted to physically or emotionally harm her, and there is still a lot of sexual chemistry that underlies your relationship. This is a good thing. You do not really need to change anything here. When is it a BAD THING for a woman to feel “comfortable” in your presence? Believe it or not, I have had women tell me that one of the reasons why they had absolutely no desire to have sex with a man, was because they felt “very comfortable” in his presence. In some men’s minds, that might be a confusing oxymoron, but for some women, it is the truth. Why would a woman lose interest in having sex with a man because she feels ‘very comfortable’ in his presence? Because for some women, the idea of feeling ‘comfortable’ in your presence reminds them of being in the presence of their father, grandfather, uncle, brother, cousin or son. In some women’s minds, “very comfortable = platonic interest only.” Once a woman perceives you as a more of a “play brother” and another “platonic friend,” you can pretty much kiss the idea of having sex with that woman goodbye. The dreaded “friend zone” is a place in a woman’s mind that has a very accessible “entry” zone, but a very hard-to-find “exit” zone. When is it a GOOD THING for a woman to feel “uncomfortable” in your presence? Often, when men and women are in the presence of someone who they are really attracted to, either romantically or sexually, they tend to become nervous, tense, intimidated, and even, “uncomfortable.”

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I remember once at a party in Chicago, I had a woman who I knew casually tell me, “Alan, you have a very intimidating presence when you are being really serious, and when you are looking at a woman directly in her eyes. When you are being funny and cracking jokes, I feel totally comfortable in your presence. But when you are serious, not talking much, and you have that direct eye contact thing going on, I feel somewhat ‘uncomfortable’ in your presence.” I have received comments similar to this from dozens of women. Many of these women I ended up having sex with, or if not physical sex, phone sex. Some, I just left feeling intrigued. Did you see the movie 9 1/2 Weeks? By today’s standards, this movie would be no big deal, but when it premiered in 1986, it was probably the closest an R-rated film had ever been to an X-rated adult film, in terms of explicit sexuality. It arguably ushered in the genre known as “soft porn.” When John (actor Mickey Rourke) first meets Elizabeth (actress Kim Basinger) in a meat / fresh seafood shop in New York City, he does not do much talking. As a matter of fact, he does not say anything to her. Not one word. He just looks at her. Directly in her eyes. Then, he leaves the shop. You can tell by Elizabeth’s reaction that she was left feeling both intrigued and intimidated. Elizabeth was somewhat “uncomfortable” in John’s presence, but in a GOOD way. Sure enough, eventually the two hook up, and begin a torrid sexual relationship where John gets Elizabeth to reveal her kinky side. This is why I rarely like to do too much talking when I first meet a woman who I am sexually attracted to. I prefer to listen instead, even if I was the one who initiated the conversation. I describe this in my book, Mode One: too much talking from the man can be a huge turnoff for a woman. This is especially true if you are engaging in a lot of “fluff talk,” trivial “chit chat,” or entertaining, but unproductive “small talk.”

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When is it a BAD THING for a woman to feel “uncomfortable” in your presence? No woman, or even a man for that matter, likes to feel like their sense of physical safety is at risk. You never want to approach a woman in a manner that makes her feel “scared” of you, or makes her feel like you are going to physically assault her or harm her in any way. This is when you will make a woman feel uncomfortable in a ‘bad’ way. A woman does not like to feel like she is in the presence of someone who is too physically aggressive, or gives off signs that he may be mentally disturbed, or is a ‘stalker’ type. One thing I have learned from my interactions with women, is that being highly sexual with women in an “indirect” way, can be a major turn off. It makes you come across as ‘creepy’ (and women don’t like ‘creepy’ men). You need to be more direct. For example, eye contact. If you are talking to a woman about something to do with sex, but are not maintaining eye contact with that woman … and look ‘nervous,’ uneasy, and non-confident – there is a great chance that you are going to come across as ‘creepy’ in that woman’s mind. Two characteristics that make MOST women (not all, but MOST) feel at ease in your presence: 1) A very calm, relaxed, self-assured demeanor and 2) Confident, direct eye contact I cannot tell you how many women have told me that they feel very, very uncomfortable when in the presence of a man who cannot look them in the eyes, for more than a microsecond.

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I have had men say to me, “I thought it was perceived as ‘rude’ to just stare at a woman?” Well, yes, and no. If you go near a woman … and you just stare at her for no apparent reason, and you are not actively in conversation with her or standing a few feet away, then that has a chance of being perceived by a woman as “rude” or “creepy.” If you are in conversation with a woman, and you are standing or sitting within three feet or less of “her space,” then it is completely fine for you to look a woman directly in her eyes for an indefinite period of time, even if you are not saying anything. If a woman is attracted to you, she will find that nonverbal gesture to be very sexy and appealing. Verbal Seduction Rule #5: Never approach a woman, and start talking about sex with her, just for the sake of talking about sex, particularly, if you seem ‘nervous,’ uneasy, or you are not maintaining any sort of confident eye contact with her. That will most likely ‘creep’ her out. If you are going to talk about anything related to sex, do so in a very calm, easygoing, direct and confident manner, while maintaining a high degree of direct eye contact with her. Remember at the bottom of Page 22, I alluded to the fact that many women who I have surveyed said that they are more likely to have really, really kinky sex with a man who they just met or have not interacted with too much, rather than a man who they have known for a while? This relates to the whole “comfortable” versus “uncomfortable” scenario. When a woman feels comfortable with you as a ‘friend,’ she is more likely to feel ‘uncomfortable’ revealing her ‘sex siren’ / ‘kinky freak’ side to you. She believes you will eventually pass judgment on her, and lose respect for her.

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Once you place a woman on the mythical “pedestal,” the vast majority of women do not want to step down off of it. This is why I said earlier that if you are going to be wrong in your assumptions about a woman, it is much better to assume that a “4” is a “2,” than to assume that a “2” is a “4.” Because once you do the latter, that woman is going to indefinitely present herself to you as a “4,” even if in reality, she is a more kinky, uninhibited “2.” You put her on a pedestal. Right before I moved away from Los Angeles in late 2000, I read the most interesting story about a woman who went from being unemployed and about to be evicted from her apartment, to becoming a highly sought-after, up-and-coming erotic dominatrix who was earning a six figure salary. Just about all of her clients, which were about 80-85% men and 15-20% women, paid her good money for her to criticize them, admonish them, insult them, disrespect them, humiliate them and of course, dominate them. Many of her clients were doctors, lawyers, CEOs, corporate executives, police officers, professors and teachers, and involved in other respectable careers. The vast majority of them held positions of authority. Now, you might be thinking to yourself, “Why would mature, intelligent, college-educated men and women in positions of authority pay a woman CASH MONEY to be treated like shit??” This woman said, “many men and women with huge egos who are in positions of authority over others, get bored when EVERYONE treats them with a high degree of respect and deference. They find it nice and flattering, but boring. They find that they need to have at least ONE PERSON in their life who is going to go against the grain and let them know that they aren’t all that. That they are really a bitch or an asshole.”

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This phenomenon is true with a lot of very attractive women who possess a high degree of sex appeal and popularity with men. Some men say, “Why is that drop-dead gorgeous woman dating that jerk?? He’s a verbally abusive asshole!! Why would she date someone who demeans her and treats her like shit??” For the very same reason that this dominatrix talked about. Women with huge egos get bored of men fawning over them all the time, and playing up to their egos without fail. These types of women find constant flattery enjoyable to their ears (and ego) most of the time, but they want at least ONE GUY in their life who is going to treat them like they are “not all that.” Now, do not misquote me. I am not suggesting that all men should go out and treat women like complete crap. I am saying, do not fawn over any woman. Simply treat her “normal.” I can name quite a few times that I successfully seduced some very attractive women by “going against the grain.” Not flattering them at all. Not offering to ‘wine & dine’ them at all. Not calling them every two or three days. I would not say I treated them in any sort of “abusive” manner, but I was very, very cocky and extremely self-assured with them. Fact: Excessive flattery and fawning behavior is pleasant and enjoyable to a woman’s ears and ego, but it rarely, if ever, leads to her getting sexually aroused. A lot of women will tell you that they “dislike” guys who are ‘cocky’ and ‘full of themselves’ and treat women like sex objects. Don’t believe that bullshit for one second (unless the woman is a genuine 5 – then her words might be sincere). A bold, cocky, fearless sense of confidence in a man makes women feel intimidated, intrigued, and egotistically frustrated. Women will feel somewhat uncomfortable, but in a ‘good’ way.

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I never approach a woman with a deferential attitude of “Gee golly! You are SO beautiful!!! I wish I could have just ONE NIGHT with you!! I know it would be the most fantastic night of sex in my entire life!!!! Oh my God, I’m almost about to have an orgasm just thinking about it!!” Yeah, right. Do you think me, or any man, is going to get laid saying stupid shit like that? There is being respectful to women, and then there is being TOO respectful to women. You never want to be the latter. Never. The vast majority of the time that I approach women with the objective of seducing them, I am bold and cocky as hell. I talk to women with an underlying attitude of, “I know for a fact that I’m going to fuck you. Whether it be today, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, or five years from now. I am going to fuck you, and you know you want me to.” A-B-C. Always Be Calm & Cocky. Never talk to a woman like you “hope” to fuck her. Talk to her like it is a foregone conclusion that you are going to have hot, kinky, enjoyable sex, at some point in the (near) future. Do you know that I can name over a dozen times when I had a woman, right before having intercourse, or right before giving me a blowjob, say to me, “Alan, I hate you. You are such a cocky asshole.” You know why they said that to me, even though they were about to provide me with orgasmic pleasure? None of these women truly ‘hated’ me or genuinely ‘disliked’ me. These particular women expressed lighthearted ‘hate’ for me because when I first approached them, I told them that I knew for a fact that I was going to fuck them.

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So, it was very egotistically frustrating for them to see my prediction come true. Now, did I really know for a fact that I was going to have sex with these women? Of course not. Women always have been, and always will be, the ultimate gatekeepers of sex. They are always the final decision makers, unless again, they are drunk, drugged or being pressured or coerced to have sex. Under normal circumstances, the ball is in their court. I guarantee you: If you approach a woman, and tell that woman that you “know for a fact that you are going to end up having sex” in a super-confident-bordering-on-cocky manner, and then you do not say ANYTHING else after that, the thought of what you said will linger in that woman’s mind for a few hours, a few days, even a few weeks or months. Trust me on that. Cockiness has its rewards. Do not put a time frame on it. Do not say, “I guarantee you that I will fuck you in the next 48 hours!” Because then if it doesn’t happen, that is an ‘egotistical victory’ for HER. But if you leave that cocky prediction “open ended,” with no specific time frame, a woman who has some degree of attraction for you will think about that comment every week, if not every day. Bold, Cocky Confidence combined with Upfront, Straightforward Honesty is the #1 “X Factor” in seducing women verbally, psychologically and emotionally. Similarly, you have got to get to a point where harsh criticisms, personal insults, and other people’s opinions and perceptions of you, means jack shit. This is when you will be on your way to becoming a powerful “master seducer.” I had a woman tell me this just a few months ago. She said, “Alan … you know what turns me on? I mean, really turns me on? It’s when a man has that underlying ‘I don’t give a fuck what you, your friends, or your mother thinks about me’ attitude. That is so fucking sexy in a man. All of my

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girlfriends say that. When a man has an ‘I don’t give a fuck what you think of me’ attitude, you feel compelled to give him some pussy...” Almost every guy who I have ever been friends with, who happened to be a top-notch ladies’ man or womanizer, had that “I don’t give a fuck what you think of me” attitude, to one degree or another. Caring too much about what other people think of you is just not sexy at all. It makes you look egotistically insecure and thin-skinned. Not a sexy, appealing trait at all. Verbal Seduction Rule #6: Never allow yourself to care about the subjective criticisms and personal opinions of others. Always maintain an ‘indifferent attitude’ toward what others say about you. Always be your OWN MAN. Think about if you were invited into a room with nine desirable women who had all criticized you to their girlfriends in the past. Imagine it has been pre-determined that three of the nine women definitely want to have sex with you (but you don’t know that yet). Similarly, it has been pre-determined that three of the women are at least partially interested in you, but you would have to be really persuasive and seductive to get these three in bed (but again, you don’t know that yet). And finally, it has been pre-determined that three of the women are definitely NOT interested in sharing your company sexually. If you enter this room with a BOLD, FEARLESS SENSE OF CONFIDENCE, and genuinely do not give a fuck about the subjective criticisms and personal insults that they have expressed in the past, you will approach ALL NINE WOMEN, and initiate a conversation with them. At minimum, you will end up having sex with three of those nine women. At maximum, you will end up fucking six of those

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nine women. The three women who ultimately fail to reciprocate the sexual desires and interests you expressed to them in a highly self-assured, upfront, straightforwardly honest Mode One style will be forgotten about in less than 24 hours. On the flip side, if you enter that room with a less than average degree of confidence, and you are worried about what each woman thinks of your personality, your clothes, your looks, and your level of education and career success, guess what? If the very first woman you talk to is one of the three women who is destined to reject you, and does, (after you have bored her to death talking about your sister’s dog), your confidence is going to be shot. You will not even stay in that room long enough to be rejected a second or third time. You are going to find yourself feeling defeated by factors that were generally out of your control. I cannot stress this enough: CONFIDENCE MEANS EVERYTHING. Many times, your level of confidence is literally the razor thin difference between an enthusiastic, reciprocal response from a woman and a bored or highly disinterested response. Concentrate on taking action and being the man you truly want to be. Express your desires, interests and intentions to women in the exact manner that you ideally want to. Do not concentrate on the potential “reactions” you might receive in response to your behavior, or the potential “results” you will get (or won’t’ get) from it. Just focus on what you want from a woman, and how you are going to verbally express that to her. Express all of your sexual desires, interests and intentions with a boat load of powerful CONFIDENCE.

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Quick recap thus far: 1) Self-confidence is not something you “have” or “do not have”; It is something you “use” or “fail to use”. Self-confidence is like the psychological equivalent to a muscle. The more you use it, and the more challenges and resistance you provide, the stronger your confidence will become. 2) In order to allow your sense of self-confidence to keep getting stronger and stronger, you must begin to approach women who you find “intimidating.” Always seek to get out of your “comfort zone.” 3) Always trying to make women feel “comfortable” in your presence is not necessarily a good or beneficial thing. In many instances, you actually want women to feel a bit “uncomfortable” in your presence. You do not want to make women feel uncomfortable in a weird or ‘creepy’ manner, but you do want women to feel intrigued and slightly intimidated by how confident and selfassured you are, in your ability to attract women. 4) Flattery and respect are pleasing to a woman’s ego, but neither necessarily gets her sexually aroused. In order to get women aroused, you have to say something that challenges their ego, and leaves them feeling a bit egotistically frustrated. 5) Always maintain a calm, relaxed, easygoing demeanor and confident direct eye contact while in conversation with women. Avoid shifting your eyes too much, or coming across as nervous, tense, or too aggressive. 6) Allow yourself to get to a point where you genuinely do not care what other people think of you. Indifference toward the criticisms, perceptions and opinions of others enhances your sex appeal, in the eyes of women.

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Chapter Four Sexual Chemistry: The Good, The Bad, and The Unpredictable Many men and women attempt to describe sexual attraction in very simplistic or highly intellectualized terms. For example, some men and women think that sexual attraction is 90-99% about physical appearance. Not true (particularly for women). Is sexual attraction specifically based on whether you and a member of the opposite sex attended the same college, or if you are close in age? No. Is sexual chemistry all about a man and a woman being raised by parents who shared the same degree of morals, values, and principles? No. I conducted a random survey of women from Facebook on SurveyMonkey.com® about what turns them on in men, what turns them off, and what is important to them in a sexual companion. The responses were extremely varied. There were very few characteristics that were unanimously selected. For example, here are a few characteristics that the women were almost “split” on (i.e., approximately 45-55% of the women surveyed expressed that they were either ‘indifferent’ toward these personal attributes, or found them unimportant, while the remaining portion ranked these attributes as important to extremely important, as far as a sexual turn-on): -The length or girth of man’s penis -Looks (Face Only) -Looks (Physique Only) -A man’s level of academic education -A man’s sense of humor and wit -A man’s level of career success or wealth -A man’s potential to be a good father to his children

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There were only four characteristics that came close to being unanimously described as highly desirable, and a big turn-on: -A man’s willingness to spend a good portion of his free time with a woman of interest -A man’s personal grooming and hygiene habits -Overall level of intelligence and common sense -Overall level of confidence and conversation skills One other characteristic that came somewhat close to being unanimous in my survey was “degree of kinkiness.” What was interesting about this selection was that even women who described themselves as being somewhat ‘prudish’ found kinkiness in a man to be a turn-on. Based on some of my experiences with women, this does not surprise me at all. In a nutshell, different women find very different characteristics in men “sexy.” Some women like men with tattoos and earrings, while others absolutely hate these kinds of men. Some women love men who are earning a high fivefigure or six-figure income and have a high degree of social status, while other women couldn’t care less about that when it comes to being sexually aroused and erotically satisfied. Here is the only pure “fact” you can say about sexual attraction: If you have the ability to get a man or woman sexually aroused, there is a greater than fifty-percent chance that you can get them to have sex with you – at least once. Many men “put the cart before the horse” when it comes to women and sex. I hear men talk all the time about their desire to have sex with women, but many of these men never emphasize the concept of sexual arousal and seduction. You can be a professional chef, and prepare the most high quality meal in the world, but if you serve it to a table of people who are not hungry, you have just wasted your time.

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Another mistake both men and women make is allowing themselves to remain clueless about the concept of sexual chemistry. Sexual chemistry is everything, and especially if you are thinking of dating someone in a long-term monogamous manner. You absolutely must develop and maintain a high degree of sexual chemistry in order for a marriage or any monogamous relationship to last indefinitely. Sometimes, you can predict sexual chemistry, and other times, you cannot. If you return to Chapter One and reflect on much of what I wrote in that chapter, you will see that a large part of what turns you on, or has the potential to turn you on, and has the potential to turn you off, or will definitely turn you off, relates to your degree of social programming, and more importantly, how much you adhere to your social programming. Most men and women have three groups of sexual preferences and tastes: “Normal,” “Kinky,” and “Perverted.” What sexual activities you place in each respective category is going to be very unique and highly subjective to each and every individual in modern society. I would generally describe “normal” sexual preferences as those activities that even the most religious, prudish and conservative person on earth would deem as “acceptable.” Most of those on the extreme right tend to only condone sex that is for procreation rather than recreation. So, for example, if you are having sex in the missionary position with your husband or wife at 11:00pm in your bedroom, that would be what most people would call “normal” sexual activity. “Kinky” sex is generally thought of as any form of sex that is more geared toward casual enjoyment and recreation rather than reproduction, particularly if the sex is outside of marriage or a long-term monogamous relationship.

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For example, if I were to engage in a ménage-a-trois with two women, most conservative types would probably label me as “kinky,” even though many adult film actors and actresses, or those involved in swinging clubs and polyamorous dating, would consider a threesome as “normal” sexual activity. “Perverted” sex has traditionally been thought of as sex that is considered “unnatural.” For example, for years, homosexuality was considered ‘perverted.’ In previous centuries, even oral sex and anal sex among heterosexual men and women was widely considered “perverted” and “unnatural.” Why? Because anal sex and oral sex do not have the potential to lead to pregnancy and the reproduction of human beings. I have dated at least a handful of women in my adult life that were totally against the idea of anal sex or oral sex. They would make comments like, “only perverted people engage in those types of activities.” I rarely debate women on what is ‘normal,’ ‘kinky’ or ‘perverted.’ That is a debate that no two people with different opinions and experiences will ever win. I love to receive oral sex from a woman. If that makes me a “pervert,” so be it. I have rarely met a man who did not like blowjobs. I think the men in society who are totally against blowjobs would make up less than 1% of the men in society. How you look at sex is going to play a big part in the development and maintenance of your sexual chemistry, with a chosen partner. If you look at a particular sexual activity as being ‘normal,’ but your partner perceives that same activity as being ‘perverted,’ you two are going to have some issues. You do not have to be “philosophical twins” with a member of the opposite sex in order to develop sexual chemistry, but you and a potential partner of interest have to be generally on the same page. If you are really turned on by something, and your potential partner is really turned off by that same activity,

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your sexual chemistry with this person is either going to be short-lived, or worse, non-existent. In order for there to be sexual chemistry between a man and a woman, there also has to be some sort of “Yin” and “Yang” dynamic. Some refer to this as a “masculine-feminine” dynamic; Others refer to it as a “dominant-submissive” dynamic; A few refer to it as an “aggressive-passive” union. Whatever philosophy or dynamic you subscribe to, there is a high degree of validity to all of the above-mentioned dynamics, in terms of how your personality and sexual behavior as a man, will mesh with the personality and sexual behavior of a woman. Generally speaking, if a man and a woman both have very dominant, selfish, aggressive, or “alpha” type personalities, there is a very good chance that these two will not “click” sexually in the long run. It is a similar case with a man and a woman who are both very passive, compromising, sensitive, or submissive. In that scenario, the woman is usually going to get very bored and crave the sexual companionship of a man who is more ‘alpha’ and dominant in nature. Here is a huge mistake both men and women tend to make: Just because you ‘like’ someone as an overall person, it does not necessarily mean you and that person will have ‘good’ or ‘great’ sexual chemistry. On the flip side, just because a man or woman has various aspects of their personality and behavior that annoy you, irritate you or frustrate you, it does not mean that you would fail to have good or great sexual chemistry in a short-term or long-term relationship. I can think of many women who I tend to categorize and perceive as ‘nice’ and ‘sweet’ who I have absolutely no sexual chemistry with whatsoever. On the other hand, I can think of some other women with whom I have interacted from time-to-

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time who annoy the shit out of me, but ended up having some of the best sex of my life with. I cannot tell you how many conversations I have had with women where they will express a laundry list of complaints and criticisms of their current boyfriend or husband, but then, when I ask them, “Why are you still with this guy?” they will reluctantly admit that it is because that guy produces multiple g-spot or clitoral orgasms for them in bed. I had one woman who I conversed with not too long before writing this book say to me, “I cannot stand my ex-boyfriend. He is a complete jerk. But I still let him fuck me, even though he now has another girlfriend, because he is the only guy I’ve been with (sexually) who knows how to hit my spot in a manner that will always make me squirt. I always cum really, really hard when my ex fucks me. But non-sexually, I cannot stand to be around him. He gets on my last nerves.” I would put all sexual chemistry between heterosexual men and women into three general categories: “Good,” “Bad,” and “Unpredictable.” Let us start with bad sexual chemistry.

Bad Sexual Chemistry I would divide bad sexual chemistry into two subcategories: non-existent and abusive/detrimental. Realistically, no man or woman on this earth is going to have sexual chemistry with each and every member of the opposite sex that they come in contact with. If you are a man, there are some women who will never, ever decide to have sex with you. Do not be delusional. I laugh out loud when I see “pick up artist” types write and market books that make claims like, “If you read this book, you will be able to seduce ANY woman into bed that you meet! ANY WOMAN! Even women from other countries!” Yeah, right.

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I can usually tell within the first ten-to-fifteen minutes after I am in a woman’s presence, if that woman and I have no sexual chemistry, low sexual chemistry, medium sexual chemistry or high sexual chemistry. The vast majority of the time, I can just feel it. Sometimes, even before either the woman or I open our mouths. Anytime you interact with a woman frequently, if she fails to give you nothing more than a boat load of platonic attention, and generally treats you like a “play brother,” this means that she feels no sexual chemistry with you. At the least, she feels no sexual chemistry with you right now. The second type of “bad” sexual chemistry would be when you have a certain degree of sexual chemistry with someone who is just “bad news.” For example, you have sexual chemistry with a woman who repeatedly has been arrested for cocaine possession or has a history of neglecting her children. Or you are a woman who feels sexual chemistry with a man who physically, verbally and emotionally abuses you. Even if these men or women would potentially make you feel excited and satisfied in bed, you should try your best to stay away from them. I am not simply talking about members of the opposite sex who “get on your nerves.” I am talking those men and women who will just bring you down as a person, and eventually cause your life to be full of misery and adversity.

Good Sexual Chemistry Have you ever been around a man or a woman, and they cannot stop looking at you … you cannot stop looking at them … they feel the need to get “touchy-feely” with you … and you return the favor and get “touchy-feely” with them? These are two general signs of good sexual chemistry.

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Good sexual chemistry usually comes from a combination of physical attraction, similar interests, a love for each other’s personality, and a good “yin yang” feel between you two. Good sexual chemistry is not complicated. If you love receiving oral sex, and a woman loves giving oral sex, then you two are going to immediately click. If you love to erotically dominate a woman in bed, and she loves to be extremely submissive to her male partner in bed, you will get along perfectly.

Unpredictable Sexual Chemistry Have you ever observed a woman who was very intelligent and educated with multiple college degrees hooking up sexually with a man who is a high school dropout? Have you ever observed a man who was sort of “geeky” and “nerdy” hooked up with a woman who was sassy, sexy, urban, and street-wise? If you have not, I have. This is what I refer to as “unpredictable” sexual chemistry. In other words, “on paper,” a man and a woman do not look like they would be a good sexual ‘match’ based on their respective quirks, characteristics and attributes, but when these men and women get together, all sorts of sparks fly between them. I have seen quite the opposite happen too. Sometimes, I have been introduced to a couple that seemed “perfect” for each other on paper, but later I will find out that this couple has almost zero sexual chemistry, and both partners are cheating on one another. They give off a happy façade in public, but behind closed doors, they are bored to death with one another. Here is a warning for all men and women reading this book right now: You cannot simply “intellectualize” sexual attraction and sexual chemistry. The desire to have sex with a man or a woman is not a purely intellectual decision. A lot of sexual desire is hormonal, instinctive, and subconscious.

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Return to Chapter One where I talk about a woman’s willingness to adhere to her “social programming,” versus a woman wanting to give in to her raw desires and emotional impulses. Many times, this creates internal conflicts in a woman, and blatant contradictions that leave men confused. This is why you observe so many women saying, “I want a ‘nice guy’ as a boyfriend or husband,” but then you see that same woman out in a club with either a convicted felon or a man who has a well-known reputation for being an incorrigible womanizer and ladies’ man. This woman’s intelligence probably told her that this man is “not the right type” for her, but her innate sense of sensuality and biological instincts connected with this guy on some emotional or subconscious level, and the two ‘clicked,’ even though ‘on paper,’ the two seem to be a gross mismatch. Men and women need to remember and realize: You do not always “choose” who you fall in love with, or who has the potential to get you really horny. Again, romantic or sexual attraction is not solely and specifically based on intellectual factors, such as level of education or common interests. There are no 100% “for-sure” signs of good, or great, sexual chemistry until you actually have sex with a woman, but there are definitely certain “body language cues” that you can look for in women, either before you converse with them, or during your conversation with them. Here are some of the body language signs I pay attention to from the time I first see a woman until the time I am fully engaged in a conversation with her: • The manner in which a woman uses her eyes • The manner in which a woman walks & moves • If a woman allows you to “get in her space” • How she crosses her legs when seated

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• If a woman licks her lips a lot • If a woman becomes “touchy-feely” with you, or at minimum, allows you to become “touchy-feely” with her • The quality and tone of a woman’s voice while conversing with you

A Woman’s Eyes There is arguably no single physical feature I pay attention to more on a woman when I go into “seduction mode” than a woman’s eyes. A woman’s eyes tell you just about everything you need to know about a woman. A woman’s eyes are a ‘window’ to her soul, her character, and her innate sensuality. 90% of the time, I can usually tell if a woman is prudish or kinky just by the manner in which she uses her eyes. You can tell if a woman is pretentious or down-to-earth by watching the manner in which she uses her eyes. Women who love to fuck, and have been fucked really well in their lives tend to naturally use their eyes in a more seductive manner. Women who are virgins, or women who are indifferent toward sexual enjoyment and orgasmic pleasure, tend to have a totally different type of look. For example, women who are virgins tend to have a very “innocent” and “naïve” look in their eyes most of the time. I rarely approach a woman if she does not give me at least a full two or three seconds of direct eye contact. If a woman only looks at me for a micro-second, and then quickly looks away at someone else or something else, 99% of the time, I do not approach that woman. I tend to assume that she is not interested in having a conversation with me at all. A woman’s degree of eye contact with you is usually her first “invitation” to you that she wants to converse with you, and see what you are about. Interested women have ‘warm eyes.’

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Women who are interested in conversing with you are typically going to either a) give you one long stare of direct eye contact, or b) display a high number of short, quick instances of direct eye contact, which they alternate with looking to the side or looking at the floor. Always look women directly in their eyes.

The Way a Woman Walks and Moves I remember when I was in college, a friend of mine and I were watching this woman walk across campus, and my friend said, “You can tell that woman loves to be fucked. Just look at the way she walks.” There is validity to that comment of his. Debate this if you choose, but most men I know along with myself agree with this belief: Women who have a high interest in sexual enjoyment and orgasmic pleasure generally carry themselves differently than women who are very prudish, sexually inexperienced, or indifferent toward sex. There are exceptions here and there, no doubt, but generally speaking, women who are open to meet new men to have sex with tend to walk and move more slowly and smoothly than women who are the more prudish types. Every movement of theirs is feminine, smooth, graceful, and sensual. A woman who is not interested in conversing with you or having sex with you will typically walk in a hurried manner, or in a “herky jerky” manner. Sometimes, her movements will be more masculine than feminine.

If a Woman Allows You to “Invade Her Space” Next to eye contact, this characteristic is very, very important. When you move toward a woman, does a woman a) move toward you, b) remain stationary, or c) move away from you? If the answer is “a” or “b,” you are in good shape. If the answer is “c,” more than likely, you are in trouble.

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Most body language experts usually say that the “three feet range” is the key difference between interest and non-interest. If a woman keeps a distance of more than three feet away from you, this typically means that she is indifferent toward you, or worse, just flat-out not sexually attracted to you. If a woman allows you to get within a three feet radius of her, this usually means that she has some degree of romantic or sexual attraction toward you. Not always, but usually.

The Manner in which a Woman Crosses Her Legs I remember years ago, a woman let me in on a little secret. She said, “Alan … when a woman crosses and uncrosses her legs a lot, or rubs her thighs together a lot in your presence, that usually means that she is attracted to you and something about you is making her horny.” I have to admit: most women with whom I eventually connected romantically or sexually, did tend to cross and uncross their legs or rub their legs together a lot, when in my presence. So there is a lot of truth to what my friend told me.

Women who Lick Their Lips Very Frequently When near a woman, always pay attention to how active her tongue is. Women who love to kiss typically have very active tongues. Similarly, women who enjoy both intercourse and oral sex tend to have very active tongues, and lick their lips a lot. I have noticed that when I am in the company of a woman who has very little interest in me romantically or sexually, she very rarely, if ever, allows her tongue to come out of her mouth. In contrast, when I reflect on most of the women that I ended up dating or engaging in casual sex with, no less than 80-90% of them tended to lick their lips quite frequently.

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If you notice, when corporations create an advertising ad that is designed to be sensual and erotically teasing, they usually feature a photo of a woman with her tongue on her upper lip.

A Woman becomes “Touchy-Feely” with You If you have read my previous paperback, Upfront and Straightforward, I did some lighthearted “bragging” on my keen sense of perception towards being able to read men and women’s body language. There have been times, when I have only observed a couple for 10-15 minutes, and I can immediately tell if one of them is cheating, or if they are going to break up in the near future. Sometimes, my predictions have left some of my friends and acquaintances totally amazed and dumbfounded. Many of them will ask, “How did you know that [insert man’s name here] and [insert woman’s name here] were not going to last as a couple? What signs did they give off? I did not see them arguing or anything like that. How did you know?” A lot of it has to do with the body language characteristics I already spoke of, but the #1 key indicator of a couple with a good relationship versus a less-than-average or on-the-vergeof-breaking-up couple, is how frequently they touch each other. When a couple is truly in love, and have a high degree of sexual passion and chemistry in their relationship, they will not be able to keep their hands off of each other. Just about every couple I have ever been around who had a really great relationship had the tendency to touch each other a lot, and smooch or kiss a lot. Conversely, just about every couple I have ever been around where the chemistry between them was “average” at best, and at worst, diminishing by the second, the man and woman involved very rarely, if ever, touched or kissed each other.

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When you first meet a woman, if she is really attracted to you, she is going to repeatedly touch your head, your face, your shoulders, your chest, your thighs, your hands, or your arms. Sometimes, this will not even be a ‘conscious’ gesture. She probably will not realize she is doing it, but she will. Once a woman of interest becomes “touchy-feely” with me, I go into seductive mode almost immediately.

The Quality and Tone of a Woman’s Voice I will probably discuss this characteristic in more detail in the next chapter rather than this chapter, but I quickly say this: Women who have an erotically uninhibited and highly sensuous nature about themselves tend to express themselves verbally more differently than women who are prudish, sexually inexperienced, or indifferent toward sexual enjoyment and orgasmic pleasure. Women who genuinely love to fuck typically have very feminine, seductive voices. For the first three-to-five minutes that I am speaking with a woman, I pay very close attention to the tone and overall speaking quality of a woman’s voice. Many women will let you know just how kinky they are, not so much by the specific words that they use in conversation, but rather, their voice. When I think of most of the women who I have seduced into having sex with me within 24 hours or less after first making their acquaintance, no less than three-fourths of them were women with very calm, relaxed, highly feminine, seductive voices. My older brother, Stephen, teases me all the time about my love of and attention to women’s voices. He once said to me, “Bro, I notice you analyze women’s voices constantly. You are like a connoisseur of women’s voices. I would venture to say, you are a voice addict.” His lighthearted assessment is valid.

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I tend to put the same degree of emphasis on a woman’s voice that most men would put on a woman’s face or body. One of my fraternity brothers once said, “Alan, you are one of the most auditory brothers I have ever met in my entire life…” You can learn a lot about a woman’s level of eroticism and sexuality by paying close attention to their eyes, the manner in which they move and walk, the manner in which they use their tongues and lips, the manner in which they cross and uncross their legs, the manner in which they touch you or allow you to touch them, and the manner in which they express themselves verbally. Take time to develop your “sixth sense” of women’s body language cues. It will benefit you for sure in the long-run whenever you identify a woman of interest, and ultimately approach them and initiate a conversation with them.

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Quick recap thus far: 1) There are very few male characteristics and attributes that are a unanimous “turn on” or “turn off” for the vast majority of women in society. Some women love a very handsome man, while other women are indifferent toward looks; some women love men with long or thick penises, while other women couldn’t care less about penis size. Sexual “Turn Ons” and Sexual “Turn Offs” generally vary from woman to woman. 2) Most men and women tend to put other people’s sexual preferences and activities into three categories: “normal,” “kinky,” and “perverted.”; “normal” sex represents sex within a marriage or a monogamous relationship that will lead to pregnancy and reproduction; “kinky” sex usually represents sex that is short-term, non-monogamous, or recreational in nature; “perverted” sex is generally categorized by many in society as sexual activities that do not have the potential to lead to pregnancy and reproduction. All of these terms and categorizations are highly subjective and can vary in definition from person to person. 3) Developing sexual chemistry with a member of the opposite sex is not entirely or solely an “intellectual” decision; there are many emotional, hormonal, instinctive, and subconscious factors that contribute to who we have powerful, indefinite sexual chemistry with. 4) As a man, if you want to identify new potential female sex partners, you should always pay very close attention to the manner in which a woman moves and walks, how she uses her eyes, her lips, her tongue, her voice, and her hands, how frequently she crosses and uncrosses her legs, among other factors related to her body language. Women who are interested in having sex with a man usually offer a lot of unconscious, subtle “body language cues.”

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Chapter Five The Hypnotic Effect of Aural Sex: Using the power of words to break through a woman’s social programming In this chapter, I will teach you how to use all of the knowledge and wisdom I have offered you thus far, and also enlighten you on how to use the power of certain words and phrases, and your overall conversational skills, to break down a woman’s “psychological gatekeeper,” otherwise known as her social programming. I want you to learn how to overcome a woman’s justifications for resistance to engage in mutually beneficial sex. In Chapter One, I taught you that the #1 obstacle that usually stands in between you and a woman’s desire to fully reciprocate your sexual desires and interests is her social programming. In Chapter Two, I went on to explain why many women will behave as though they are ‘offended’ by erotically explicit language, and feel like sexually provocative conversations are ‘disrespectful,’ even though deep-down, many of these same women may end up feeling very aroused. Let me make this clear: I am not completely against the idea of social programming. If men and women did not adhere to most of the social norms, rules, laws and guidelines, many members of society would become extremely rebellious, chaos would ensue, and crime would probably increase exponentially. Impulsive behavior could produce harsh or deadly consequences and repercussions for many. I remember watching a B-movie in which the main plot centered on some sort of foreign substance that infects the food and water of this town. One of the main effects of this substance was that it caused men and women to temporarily or

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indefinitely ignore their social programming, and give in to their raw desires and emotional impulses. On the lighthearted side, the characters in the movie were having sex like crazy anytime, anywhere. They just simply did not care. On the harsher side, some men and women were committing murder whenever someone angered them, and the impulse to retaliate in a homicidal manner took over. In Chapter Two, I also taught you that not all women are equally receptive to the same type of sex. Women who are “5s” frown upon premarital sex, or at minimum, are very disinterested or indifferent toward sexual enjoyment and orgasmic pleasure; women who are “4s” enjoy sex, but prefer to enjoy only within the context of a long-term monogamous “boyfriend-girlfriend” type relationship; women who are “3s” will indulge in casual sex, but are very selective about their casual sex partners; women who are “2s” are very kinky, and love frequent episodes of casual sex, but they also are very sexually duplicitous, and will usually try to present themselves as a “3,” a “4” or a “5.” Finally, women who are “1s” are extremely kinky and even very promiscuous, and they couldn’t care less who criticizes them about it or who passes judgment on them. (Note: If you are a man reading this, the purpose of this book is to help you with women who are 2s and 3s, or if you are interested in a long-term emotionally profound relationship with a woman, women who are 4s. 99.99% chance that this book will not provide you with any assistance with women who are true 5s, and you really do not need any assistance with women who are 1s; 1s usually will either quickly have sex with you, or they won’t.) In Chapter Three, I emphasized the importance of bold, fearless confidence, as well as the importance of maintaining confident, direct eye contact with women and learning how to become indifferent toward the opinions, expectations and subjective criticisms and insults of others. I also discussed the

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idea that sometimes, making a woman feel “comfortable” is highly overrated and even detrimental. Finally, in Chapter Four, I discussed the fact that most women are very varied and divided in terms of what characteristics in a man turns them on sexually versus what attributes in a man turn them off; I continued by discussing how most men and women in society tend to group all sexual activities into three general categories, which would be “normal,” “kinky,” and “perverted”; I also explained how you cannot over-intellectualize the development of short-term or long-term sexual chemistry; I wrapped up by describing some of the most prominent body language signs that women tend to display when in the company of a man who they are romantically or sexually attracted to. My primary goal with this chapter is to teach you how you can take all of the knowledge, wisdom and advice from the first four chapters and combine it with the most important, useful, potent tool for verbal seduction: The erotic power of your voice, your words, and your overall conversational skills. Have you ever listened to a song, and had that song either get you very hyped and energized, or caused you to become very sad and reflective? How does this happen? I mean, after all, it is just words and music, right? Have you ever listened to a comedian, and his jokes and humorous stories had you laughing so hard, to the point where your stomach hurt or you were out of breath? How does this happen? I mean, after all, these are just stories using funny words and comedic timing, right? Have you ever had another man at a bar, or at a party, talk shit to you, and the next second, you were ready to punch this guy in the face? How does this happen? I mean, after all, this man was just expressing antagonistic, inciting words, right?

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I think you get the point by now. SOMEONE ELSE’S WORDS CAN HAVE A PROFOUND EFFECT ON OUR BEHAVIOR, OUR THOUGHTS, OUR EMOTIONS, and OUR REACTIONS TO OTHERS. Do you know I once made a woman reach orgasm not once … not twice … not three times … but SEVEN TIMES in approximately three hours? With the slow, long stroke of my penis during intercourse? Would love to say so … but no. With the wet warmth of my tongue during oral sex? I’m pretty good at providing oral pleasure to women … but no. Believe it or not, with just the power of my words. That’s right … phone sex. This represents the amazing power of aural sex. “Huh? Aural sex? What is aural sex?” For those not quite familiar with the term, “aural” is to the ear what “verbal” is to the mouth (another term that is similar to ‘aural’ is the term ‘auditory’; the two terms have some minor distinctions in definition and connotation, but most use these terms interchangeably). For example, if your ex-girlfriend gave you an audiotape of you and her having sex, and listening to that tape caused you to masturbate to the point of orgasm, you would be engaging in a form of aural or auditory sex. Same thing with phone sex. What is interesting is that I have experienced some kinky scenarios over the phone that I never have face-to-face. For example, I once had phone sex with three attractive sisters in one month. I once had as many as four women masturbating for me over the phone at the same time (two women were in one room masturbating, one woman was in a different room, and a fourth woman was in yet another room, and they were all on the same phone line) in one conversation. That was very hot and kinky.

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I am not highlighting these instances so much to ‘brag’ as much as I am to point out that when you combine the erotic power of your words, your voice, and your conversational skills with the erotic thoughts and erotic visualizations entertained in a woman’s mind, you can cause a woman to become so wet and aroused, that she will either want to a) immediately have [physical] sex with you, or at minimum, b) enjoy an episode of phone sex and self-pleasure (masturbation) with you, to the point of orgasm. Verbal Seduction Rule #7: No thought, fantasy, or visualization that is created in YOUR mind can ever get a woman more sexually aroused than a thought, fantasy, or visualization that is entertained in HER OWN MIND. Think of your voice as the ‘pilot light,’ your words as the ‘gas,’ and a woman’s mind and imagination as the ‘furnace.’ Just about every woman who I have ever seduced into having physical sex or phone sex with me, it was because of my talent for “talking dirty” and my overall verbal seduction skills that led to my success. The vast majority of my former lovers and former phone sex partners have categorized me as the most verbally erotic man they have ever interacted with. As mentioned before, my love for talking dirty to women started a few months after I viewed the 1980 adult film classic, appropriately entitled, Talk Dirty to Me. Two or three years later, they made a sequel entitled, Talk Dirty to Me, Part II. The late adult film star, John Leslie, starred as a slacker womanizer named “Jack” who had a knack for getting women into bed – many times, within the same day after he first made their acquaintance – by being bold, provocative, ultra-confident, and erotically explicit with his words in his conversations with the women he encountered in the two films.

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What I basically did was emulate Jack’s body language, his conversational style, his attitude and demeanor, and his boldness and straightforward honesty with women in real life. Sure enough, to my pleasant surprise, I started experiencing a lot of the same type of quick and mind blowing seductions in real life that the fictional character of Jack experienced within the context of that film. There were times when I would meet a woman, at say, 8:00 PM, and by 8:30 PM, that new female acquaintance would be giving me a blowjob or we would be engaging in intercourse. Probably the more interesting and egotistically satisfying seductions were those when I would meet a woman, exhibit Mode One Behavior, talk dirty to her, and initially, that particular woman would have a very adverse and seemingly “angry” response and reaction. To someone who was an eyewitness, it would look like I got rejected in a harsh and abrupt manner. Some friends would say, “You crashed and burned!” Then, in many, many instances, something interesting would happen. A good number of those same women who initially rejected me, would end up getting back in contact with me. Sometimes, it would be days later, other times it would be weeks later, and in some instances, months or even over a year later. Sure enough, we would end up having sex. This fascinated me. When I approached women in a more basic, conventional, non-provocative manner (i.e., Mode Two Behavior), I rarely had a woman have a “change of heart” regarding her romantic or sexual interest in me. If a woman was interested, she reciprocated. If a woman was not interested, she rejected me. With Mode One interactions, it was different. So, I would ask women (sometimes, while we were in the act of sex), “why did you act like a cold-hearted prude toward me when I first

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approached you, only to turn around and call me two weeks later? You said that my ‘XXX-rated dirty talk’ was ‘crass’ and ‘disrespectful.’ Why the change in attitude??” Different women had different responses, but the vast majority of them expressed the same sentiments simply using slightly different words. One woman who I had sex with who had initially rejected me said, “well, when you approached me … and started talking to me in an X-rated, sexually provocative manner, it made me think that you assumed I was a ‘slut’ or a some sort of ‘skanky whore,’ and that turned me off. But at the risk of contradicting myself, your words also turned me on. I have never had a man be bold enough to talk to me like that. I found myself later intrigued by your confidence and audacity.” When I spoke in London in November 2010, I told the men in the audience about a time when I approached a woman, exhibited Mode One Behavior, and used a lot of X-rated and XXX-rated language with her. At the time, she harshly criticized me. This woman called me a “jerk” and an “asshole.” Guess what I found out a few days later from one of her girlfriends, who was a friend of mine? This same woman who insulted me actually masturbated later on that night thinking about how I approached her. Very little surprises me with Mode One, but at the time, that surprised me a bit. I was like, “Get the fuck out of here … are you serious??” My female friend was like, “Yep. She told me the other day. She said you got her so hot and so wet with your bold talk and X-rated language that she played with herself later on that night.” Behavior like this is exactly why many men scratch their heads, and offer comments like, “Women are so damn confusing. They exhibit so much behavior that is hypocritical, inconsistent, and blatantly contradictory. I can never figure women out.”

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Well, fellas, I get women. I am not going to suggest that I have a valid explanation for EVERY aspect of women’s behavior (because trust me, they leave me confused or frustrated at times too), but I understand most of their behavior as it relates to sex and seduction. A lot of it goes back to what I talked about in Chapter One and Chapter Two. Women are not naturally turned off by sexually provocative conversations with men that include erotically explicit language. They have been socially conditioned and brainwashed to be “turned off” by such conversations. There is a difference between the two. A huge difference. There is a big difference between me having a natural dislike for cookies and ice cream, and me having a group of physicians and nutrition & fitness experts brainwashing me and programming my mind over a period of days, weeks, months or years to believe that cookies and ice cream are going to lead to obesity and diabetes. There are many women who have been brainwashed to believe that their vagina, and their sexual companionship, is a form of “currency,” like money. Many mothers and fathers teach their daughters that “if a man is not offering to take care of you financially, and he is not willing to sacrifice having sex with other women in order to be with you, then he is not a desirable man to be with sexually. Not at all.” Many women in society follow this advice, and adhere to this brand of social programming. Some women take that advice a step further, and ultimately become social climbers and gold diggers. They end up essentially offering their romantic or sexual companionship to a man of status and means. Similar to a Call Girl or Erotic Escort, they are looking to exchange their sexual companionship for financial security and favors at the highest market value they can.

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In the instances where the women do not trade sex for money, they trade it for a man’s expressed commitment to monogamy. “If you stop fucking other women, I will let you fuck me” is the underlying attitude of a lot of women. One problem: A woman’s raw desires and emotional impulses do not always cooperate with a woman’s brainwashing, her learned behavior, and her social programming. Women can be just as impulsive as men. Why do you think most diets fail? You can read book after book after book that says, “ice cream and cookies will make you fat! Ice cream and cookies will lead to high cholesterol! Ice cream and cookies will lead to diabetes!!” The bottom line is, if your subconscious mind has already experienced the enjoyment of ice cream and cookies, and it associates that experience with pleasure, guess what? There is an 80-90% chance that you are going to give in to the temptation of eating your favorite ice cream and your favorite cookies. Again, I am not a licensed psychologist, but I know a little something about how the mind works. Your CONSCIOUS MIND: The “Gatekeeper” of your mind. This is the headquarters for all of your learned behavior and your social programming. The conscious part of your mind evaluates behavior and experiences from the perspective of “right vs. wrong,” “legal vs. illegal,” “appropriate vs. inappropriate,” “ethical vs. unethical,” “healthy vs. unhealthy,” “safe vs. dangerous,” etc. At any time if you give a lot of thought to doing something before you actually do it, you are using your conscious mind. Your conscious mind tends to always weigh the “pros” and “cons” of your actions prior to you exhibiting most forms of behavior.

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Your SUBCONSCIOUS MIND: The “Autopilot” portion of your mind. This is the home for all of your raw desires, emotional impulses, and ingrained habits. The subconscious part of your mind evaluates behavior and experiences from the perspective of “pleasurable vs. painful,” “exciting vs. boring,” “satisfying vs. frustrating,” “enjoyable vs. tedious,” “quick & easy vs. long & strenuous,” and so on. The easiest decisions you will ever make in your life as a human being, will be those decisions where your conscious mind and subconscious mind are on the same page. If your conscious mind says, “That decision is the RIGHT THING TO DO,” and your subconscious mind says, “That decision is going to result in ENJOYMENT and PLEASURE,” that is when you are going to make a decision without much thought. Similarly, if your conscious mind says, “What you are about to do is UNETHICAL,” and your subconscious mind says, “What you about to do is going to result in a lot of PAIN,” then you are going to easily avoid the activity in question. The tricky decisions happen when your conscious and your subconscious mind “clash.” When a form of behavior is the “right thing to do,” but that behavior is going to result in boredom or frustration. When an activity will provide you with pleasure, but it will also make you feel like you did something “inappropriate” that will cause others to admonish you. I alluded to this in Chapter One and Chapter Two, but I will reiterate it again: The vast majority of women in society are “sexually conflicted.” On one end, their conscious mind and social programming is telling them to avoid any form of sex that will potentially result in shame, criticism, regret, unwanted pregnancies or a sexually transmitted disease.

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Conversely, a woman’s subconscious mind could give two flying fucks about all of the above-mentioned bullshit. All it cares about is, “is having sex with this man going to be enjoyable, pleasurable, and full of satisfying orgasms?” Think about it. When have you ever found yourself gravitating toward a form of behavior, an activity, or an experience that you perceived as “boring,” “tedious,” “frustrating,” or “painful?” Very rarely, if ever. The Self-Help Guru, Tony Robbins, talks in more detail about this in a few of his books. Robbins says (paraphrasing) that one of the reasons why men and women have a set of “good habits” and “bad habits” is because most of their bad habits are ingrained in their subconscious mind, and their bad habits are subconsciously associated with some degree of enjoyment, pleasure, and satisfaction. Going back to my ice cream and cookies analogy, you don’t eat ice cream and cookies because these food items are healthy and full of helpful nutrition. You eat ice cream and cookies because those food items taste good and provide your taste buds with pleasure. There are only about four types of women who are going to be genuinely turned off by you attempting to engage them in a sexually provocative and erotically explicit conversation: -Women who have never had sex before (virgins) -Women who have had a “bad” sexual experience -Women who are firm lesbians or just flat-out not attracted to you -Women who are major, top-tier gold digger types If a woman has experienced sexual pleasure and satisfaction before, and her number of enjoyable experiences far outweigh her not-so-enjoyable experiences, and she has at least a small degree of attraction to you, then you can get her wet using the power of verbal seduction and aural sex.

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You take phone sex. Most women who have listened to my adult-themed podcast program, The Erotic Conversationalist, have heard me discuss some of my phone sex experiences with women. I have rarely had a woman reject my attempt to engage her in a sexually provocative or erotically explicit conversation over the phone. Rarely. I would estimate that no less than 17 out of every 20 women who I have attempted to get them enthusiastically involved in a sexually provocative conversation over the phone, and open up to me about their sexual desires, preferences, experiences and fantasies, have usually complied. And I would say no less than 12 out of those 17 women ended up masturbating to the point of orgasm before the end of the phone conversation. Believe it or not, when I was in my mid-to-late 20s, I actually hated phone sex. I had called a few of the advertised “1-900” type phone sex lines, but all of the women sounded corny, phony and scripted. They all sounded like really bad, untalented, B-movie actresses. The first time I really started getting aroused by phone sex was around 1992 or 1993. An ex-girlfriend of mine got me into it because of the distance between us. We would spend hours on the phone reminiscing about our past episodes of hot, kinky sex, and toward the end of each phone conversation we would almost always end up masturbating to the point of orgasm. At first, I thought I would only have the power to get women wet who I knew personally, and had already had sex with. Man, did I underestimate myself. Soon, I would meet and talk to a woman once, face-to-face, and then during our first or second phone conversation over the phone, I would have them masturbating to the point of orgasm. Slowly, but surely, I started to fully understand the power of my words and voice.

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Don’t get me wrong, I love intercourse as much as any man walking the earth, but I have probably learned more about women’s sensuality from my episodes of phone sex than I have from most of my physical sex encounters. I have definitely learned more about what it takes to verbally seduce women and get them to the highest point of sexual arousal. What are some of the things that I have learned about women from my many phone sex conversations? • Many women feel “pressured” by friends, family, and society in general to behave like an “innocent, wholesome, semi-prudish good girl”; The reality is, many women want to experience wild kinky sex – at least a handful of times – as much as men do • Many women get into long-term monogamous relationships or get married so they can “unleash” their kinky side, but many of their romantic companions and spouses do just the opposite (many women have told me that a lot of their ex-boyfriends and ex-husbands were boring prudes in bed or uninterested in sex) • Even women who love feeling powerful and domineering in their careers or other organizations want to become very submissive to men in bed, and want to be erotically dominated • A lot of women have said that many men who were the most well endowed were some of their worst sex partners, and on the flip side, many of the men who had average to slightlyabove-average penises were some of their best lovers • Many women think about engaging in a MFF threesome or male-female-male threesome just as much as, or more, than many men do • When it comes to sexual arousal, most men are like microwave ovens and most women are like crock pots; Women love men who are patient enough and take time to really make sure that women reach their highest point of arousal prior to engaging in intercourse

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• Many women feel like they put forth much more effort to learn and understand what pleases a man sexually than vice versa; a high number of women look at the majority of men as “selfish lovers,” which results in them being unsatisfied in bed (which is why many women depend on vibrators, dildos, and other masturbation-oriented sex toys for sexual satisfaction) •Most women do not mind sharing a man with another woman, and engaging in casual sex, if a man is upfront and straightforwardly honest about his intentions from the get-go; women hate men who make them feel like a “girlfriend,” and take time to develop an “emotional bond,” when those men really just want short-term or non-monogamous (casual) sex •More women have had at least one bisexual experience with another woman than most men think, and maintain many bisexual thoughts, desires, and fantasies •As I alluded to in an earlier chapter, many women have experienced some of their wildest, kinkiest, freakiest sex with men who were “strangers” and/or new acquaintances rather than with spouses, boyfriends and long-term, familiar partners This list of tidbits could go on. In a nutshell, I have simply learned that in some ways, women are just like men when it comes to what arouses them sexually, but in other areas related to sex, women are 180 degrees different to men. One thing I have learned for sure is that very few women are “genuine prudes” behind closed doors. I said that at the beginning of this book. The true “5s” in society are rare. Most women who I have met and conversed with are 2s, 3s, and 4s. The vast majority of women I have met and conversed with are open-minded, free-spirited, and erotically uninhibited to one degree or another, but because of their fear of being labeled a ‘ho,’ a ‘slut,’ or a ‘kinky promiscuous freak,’ many women keep their more kinky side under wraps until they hook up with a man they completely trust not to pass judgment on them.

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How can you learn how to break through women’s disingenuous prudish façades? How can you learn how to improve your use of certain words and phrases with women in a manner that will create powerful erotic thoughts and visualizations in their minds? Take heed of my next few tips.

Take time to develop a calm, relaxed, smooth voice Do you own a small digital recorder? If you do, great. If you do not, go out and invest in one. Then, just simply start recording yourself talking. Pretend like you are approaching a woman for the first time and initiating a conversation with her. Play it back for yourself. How do you think you sound? Does your voice sound “choppy?” “nervous?” “non-confident?” “effeminate?” “tense or stressed?” If any of the aforementioned adjectives are a valid description of your voice, then this means the tone and overall quality of your voice needs improvement. This is going to seem like a “weird” suggestion, but I want you to watch a really, really good porno movie. One that really gets you aroused. Start masturbating. Now – once you are at your highest point of arousal – go grab your digital recorder. Start recording yourself. Once again, pretend like you are approaching a woman and initiating a conversation with her. Play it back for yourself. Do you notice any difference? I would bet money that you are going to notice a difference between your “masturbatory voice” and your “nonmasturbatory” voice. You will sound more relaxed. Not into porno movies or masturbation? Here is an alternative method. Think about a really kinky sexual fantasy or really kinky sexual experience from your past. Minutes into thinking about either one, say to yourself, “Oooooooooooh.’

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Say that word in a very calm, relaxed, low volume voice. Keep saying that one word over and over and over again at a volume that is just above a whisper. “Ooooooooooooooh.” Over a period of days, weeks, and months, your voice is going to become more smooth and seductive. This will be the first tool in your arsenal toward verbal seduction. A calm, relaxed, smooth and seductive voice leads to a high degree of persuasive influence with women. Just about every woman with whom I have had enjoyable phone sex with, and also most of the women with whom I have had enjoyable physical sex with, told me that my voice was the #1 quality about me that got them sexually aroused. There have been at least a dozen times when I even had a woman either masturbating, or on the verge of masturbating, during a first-time business call. I remember once, in the late 1990s, I had a woman call me from a temporary employment agency, and in the middle of the conversation, she said, “I feel embarrassed saying this Mr. Currie … but you have a really nice phone voice.” Normally, I would just say, “Thank you,” and continue the conversation. With her, I said, “I bet your pussy is getting wet listening to my voice … isn’t it …” She said, “Oh my God!! I don’t believe you said that!!!” (I get that response a lot from women – “I can’t believe you just said that!”) Sure enough, about 10-15 minutes later, I had this woman fingering herself at work in her office. I had never even met this woman in person. What does that experience tell you? A woman does not necessarily even need to know what you look like in order to become sexually aroused by your words, your voice, and your overall conversational skills.

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I could have been a man who was 4’11” who weighed 400 lbs. with gross-looking warts all over my body for all she knew. I did not end up meeting this woman face-to-face until after we had enjoyed three or four episodes of hot phone sex. Your voice, if you develop and train it correctly, can become a very powerful force in your goal to verbally seduce women.

Instead of watching porn, take time to read some hot erotic fiction or erotic non-fiction written by heterosexual and bisexual women Most women know what turns other women on, just like most men know what turns other men on. If you notice, most hardcore video porn is written and produced by men. Men know what other men want to see. Also, if you notice, half of the women who watch porn that is written and produced by men are not necessarily turned on by that particular brand of porn. A good number of women love erotica novels and erotic non-fiction much more than they do video porn. Women do not need to see sexual activity “acted out” in order to get turned on. They can use the power of their own imagination to get themselves wet. All they need is for a writer to throw a thought or a creative erotic premise into their head, and their mind is off and running. Statistics show: hardcore erotica and erotic romance novels is one of the top genres of books that has experienced the most significant increases in sales over the last 10-15 years (USA Today Newspaper – February 20, 2006). In the mid-to-late 90s, when I lived in Los Angeles, I actually used to write short erotic fiction and sexual fantasies for women. Over half of the time, I got paid to do it (not much – usually anywhere from $25 - $40 per fantasy). I had always been a fan of the Letters to Penthouse series, which is a popular book series of erotic fiction based on

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real-life sexual experiences. Some of the stories would get me so aroused, that I would usually end up masturbating to many of them. Many of the stories were written by women. What are some of the differences between erotic stories that turn on women versus porn videos that turn on men? - Women, generally speaking, are much more into foreplay than men are. Men want to watch sex that “gets right into the action.” They want to see a man immediately stick his dick right into a woman’s mouth or vagina; Women want there to be a lot of kissing, caressing, massaging, touching, etc, prior to intercourse. Women are much more into viewing or reading about the “arousal phase” of sex than the average man. - With most men, the focus is on the orgasm. For most men, the orgasm is the cake. For most women, the orgasm is the frosting on the cake. Women actually like to enjoy every minute of the actual act of sex with a man who turns them on. - Men, generally speaking, are more voyeuristic; Women, generally speaking, are more exhibitionistic. - Women get turned on by a lot of “little things” that the average man would not pay attention to. Men just want to see nice tits and a nice firm butt. Women will get turned on by the way a man uses his hands, the way he uses his mouth, lips, and tongue, the way he pulls her hair during sex, etc. - Most erotic stories that are written for women by women that involve group sex (three or more partners) usually involve “strangers” or new acquaintances. Women do not fantasize too much about group sex with a long-term lover or spouse - Here is a very important thing: even when women are allowing themselves to indulge in sexual acts that are extremely kinky and adventurous, they still want to be treated in the long run like a complete human being. Very few, if any women, like to be treated like the human equivalent to one of those cheesy-looking plastic blow up sex dolls.

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Now don’t get me wrong – there are a lot of women who like the exact same type of XXX-rated hardcore video porn that men do, particularly in the 21st Century. A lot of what a woman likes in erotica and video porn, or doesn’t like, depends on if she is a “1,” “2,” “3,” “4,” or “5.” Many women who are 1s, 2s and 3s love hardcore XXXrated porn just as much or more than men.

Instead of worrying about “coming on too strong” or worrying about “crossing the line,” just concentrate on being bold, confident, straightforwardly honest, and verbally erotic If there is one thing that mildly bothers me about some of my male Mode One fans and readers is their over-concern about being perceived as “crass,” “disrespectful,” “rude,” or “coming on too strong” with women. If you think about anything in life, you are going to find men and women who LOVE something, and men and women who CRITICIZE or HATE that same thing. Let’s start with the concept of GOD. Many human beings love and worship GOD, but you have a good number of human beings who criticize the concept of worshiping a “God.” Comedian Bill Maher is always poking fun at what he refers to as “religious types.” Some people are atheists or agnostic. Vegetarianism and meat-eating. Some men and women love and swear by the vegetarian lifestyle and the lifestyle of a raw foods vegan, while others think vegetarians are crazy, fanatical animal lovers. Some people love sports, but I have met men and women who literally hate the idea of athletic competition. Some think competition of any sort, athletics, academics, performing arts, etc., brings out the worst in people instead of their best.

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My point? Just about anything you do or say is going to be liked or loved by some, and criticized or disliked or hated by others. This goes back to my advice in Chapter Three about learning to become indifferent toward the opinions, criticisms and expectations of others. I’ll give you one example. I had a female author on my talk radio podcast program, and we got into a lighthearted debate and discussion about men talking dirty to women. More specifically, about men talking dirty to women in the very first conversation after making each other’s acquaintance. This woman said that it was totally inappropriate and disrespectful for a man to talk dirty to a woman he just met. I told her that I have talked dirty to many women in my first conversation with them, both in-person and over the phone. This same author asked me had I ever been slapped in the face for being so “crass” and “disrespectful” by talking to women about subject matter such as blowjobs in my very first conversation with them. I said, “No, I have not. I have never been slapped by a woman for taking dirty to them, or talking about getting my dick sucked in the first conversation.” She said, “you need to be.” I got offended, and gave her a piece of my mind. For at least five minutes or so, our exchange became very argumentative and contentious. Interesting enough, her fellow female friend and co-author who I also interviewed was damn near just the opposite. She had no problem with the idea of me talking dirty to a woman in the first conversation, and talking about blowjobs, as long as the woman who I was conversing with was open to it. Matter of fact, I was talking dirty to HER in our first phone conversation. I had a number of my female listeners write me. One regular female listener of mine said, “I would love for a man to talk about sex with me in the first conversation, if having sex with me is the #1 thing on his mind. I would rather him get to

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the point, and skip the phony bullshit, than to talk to me about a bunch of crap that I don’t care about. Either I’m going to sleep with him or I’m not.” YOU CANNOT PLEASE EVERYONE. DON’T EVEN DARE ATTEMPT TO. I am always going to be verbally erotic with women. Always. If some of them don’t like it, I don’t give a fuck. The only time I am “cautious” about my language is when I am in a professional, “9-to-5” office type situation. And that is only because of the many sexual harassment laws in place. Many people say that a woman’s first impression of you is everything. Well, if it is, I want a woman’s first impression of me to be that I love to fuck and I want to make her cum. I don’t want a woman to say, “Alan Roger Currie is so funny!” “Alan Roger Currie is so intelligent and articulate!” “Alan Roger Currie loves dogs!” “Alan Roger Currie cares about family!” Fuck all that. All of those perceptions are true and valid, but that is not what I want my lasting impression to be. I want a woman to say, “Alan is so nasty. I can tell just by my first conversation with him that he will be kinky in bed. He is a for sure freak!” That is the impression I want a woman to have of me, assuming that I want to have sex with her. Trust me when I say this: I can name plenty more times when talking dirty to women in my first conversation with them has HELPED ME seduce a woman into having sex with me than I can name times when being verbally erotic with a woman in the first conversation PREVENTED ME from seducing a woman into having either physical sex or phone sex with me. To take it a step further, just about every woman who I have interacted with who I was interested in having sex with, but they ended up treating me like nothing more than a

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“platonic friend” or “play brother” were women who I “held back” on being verbally erotic in my first few conversations with them. Instead, I ended up conversing with these women in a very basic, conservative, and conventional manner. And in almost each instance, I felt regretful and frustrated later on. When you talk dirty to women, you tend to find out what category they are in much quicker than when you do not engage them in a sexually provocative conversation. Go back to page 14, page 23, and pages 38-46. Exhibiting Mode One Behavior toward women has allowed me to quickly see if a woman was either a Reciprocator, Rejecter, Pretender, or Timewaster as well as if a woman was a 1, 2, 3, 4, or 5. You can tell a lot about a woman by the manner in which she responds and reacts to your erotic dirty talk. For example, I can usually tell if a woman is a “true 5” or if a woman is really a “2 pretending to be a 5,” just by how she responds to my erotic dirty talk. Women who are 2s “pretending” to be 4s and 5s are the primary women who will usually get very theatrical and frustrated when you are Mode One with them and talk dirty to them. Why? Deep-down, they feel like you have ‘exposed’ their disingenuous façade, and this very much leaves them feeling frustrated. No woman (or man) who is putting on a public façade wants that easily exposed by others.

Learn to eliminate most of your invalid stereotypes and personal judgments of women Over the last 5-10 years, I have noticed that a lot of men I interact with and offer advice to tend to shoot themselves in the foot and hurt their own seduction efforts by falling victim to their own invalid beliefs and stereotypes or personal, self-righteous judgments of women.

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Quick example: There are many men who tend to believe that if a woman attends church regularly or semi-regularly that she is a “prudish, ultra-monogamous good girl” and if a woman frequents bars and nightclubs on a regular or semi-regular basis, this must mean that she is kinky, into casual sex, and semi-promiscuous. That thinking is such bullshit. I would say since my early-to-mid 20s, I have had more sex, and particularly casual sex, with women who were regular churchgoers than those who frequented dance clubs or local bars and other social venues. Some women who I have had sex with rarely, if ever, go to nightclubs or bars. Many of the women I have had sex with do not consume any liquor. Truthfully, nightclubs and bars are actually two of the WORST places to meet women who are interested in having sex. I know more married women, and women who are just looking for flattering attention, who frequent nightclubs than I do women who are actually interested in exchanging orgasms. Just about every time I have been to a nightclub in cities like Chicago, Los Angeles, or New York, the vast majority of women there were women just looking to have a few drinks, socialize with their girlfriends, or see if they could find a man to offer to ‘wine and dine’ them and shower them with egotistically satisfying compliments and attention. Not my type of woman. If I had to identify a handful of places where I have had the most success meeting women who I eventually ended up having sex with, here would be my personal Top Five places: 1) College Campuses Not everyone attends college, or some have already graduated, but if you are between 17 and 25 or older, and you are currently on a college campus, you should have more than enough women to choose from to have enjoyable sex with

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2) Social Networking Sites / Internet I have a friend who goes by the nickname/pseudonym Rico a.k.a. Your Royal Flyness, and he actually has two or three books on the market that deal specifically with connecting with women that you first meet on Facebook, LinkedIn, MySpace, or Twitter; I have had physical sex or phone sex with many women who I first met via the internet. Another online venue that is rising in popularity is Meetup.com; Many singles groups exist in various cities in the US, Canada and Europe 3) Grocery stores I have seduced a good number of women who I first met in a grocery store. All lonely, horny women need to eat. Lonely women usually do a lot of grocery shopping on Friday and Saturday evenings 4) Health & Fitness gyms By far one of the best public venues to meet attractive women who emphasize health and fitness. Women usually outnumber men in fitness gyms 2-1 or even 3-1 5) Bookstores Comment: Because of sites like Amazon.com, many bookstores are now going out of business (sad, but true). Before this happened, I used to connect with many women who I met at Barnes & Noble or Borders Everyone has heard the old adage, “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” Some men make the mistake of just LOOKING AT a woman, and saying to themselves, “Oh, she’s probably a prude…” or “She is so gorgeous, I bet she already has dozens of men competing for her attention and companionship…” Stop doing this. At least half of the time you try to predict women’s sexuality or love life just by looking at them, you are going to be wrong. Just because a woman is dressed conservatively does

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not necessarily means that she is a prude, and just because a woman is drop-dead gorgeous does not mean she is already taken or already married or involved with someone. There have been a number of women I have met in the past who I initially thought may be prudish, but these women ended up being really, really kinky. Similarly, there have been a number of women who I thought were already receiving a lot of attention from men only to find out they were lonely, bored and looking for male companionship. You just never know until you initiate a conversation with them and get to know them.

Allow some women to focus on men other than YOU Some men reading this are like, “Huh?” I am going to let you in on a little secret: Some women have a hard time getting excited about the idea of having sex with you if they have never had sex with you. Particularly, if they do not feel a high degree of sexual chemistry with you while in your presence. There have been at least a handful of times when I have gotten a woman sexually aroused by allowing her to reminisce on a past sexual experience she had with ANOTHER MAN (or woman). Why should I try to force a woman to think about giving me a blowjob, if that woman is fascinated with Brad Pitt? I would rather a woman suck my dick while playing with her clit, fantasizing about sucking Brad’s dick, than for her not to suck my dick at all. I can think of at least one or two physical sex partners I have had, and at least four or five phone sex partners who I have had, where we used this arousal method to get off. I refer to it as “verbal voyeurism” and “verbal exhibitionism.” I had sex with one woman where we rarely talked about each other during sex. She would talk about past boyfriends she enjoyed having sex with, and I would talk about female

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lovers from my past. Some would call that ‘weird,’ but the bottom line is, she and I were the two who were having sex and experiencing orgasms, not the others who we talked about. Sometimes, I actually get hornier when a woman puts my ego in a position of envy or jealousy. I remember one evening, I was in bed with a woman, but had no interest in being sexual. Then, this woman started talking about a sex scene between the actor Wesley Snipes and actress Cynda Williams from Spike Lee’s film, Mo’ Better Blues. She said, “I bet if Wesley was here right now, he would fuck me silly.” Next thing I know, my dick was hard as a rock. We ended up enjoying some of the best sex we ever had (Later, she giggled and said, “If you’re going to fuck me like that when I talk about other guys, I’m going to talk about fucking other men ALL the time to get you hard – You have never fucked me like that before!!). The same technique works in reverse. I can name many times I have caused a woman to get sexually aroused by allowing her to listen to me talk about seducing and fucking other women. Matter of fact, I would say that at least one out of every five women who I have had sex with, I used “verbal exhibitionism” as a means of getting these women aroused. Most women will not admit it publicly, but I have met many women who loved hearing stories about me seducing and fucking other women. I have had a lot of women confess to me that this is a HUGE turn-on for them. Some men think women are going to get “angry” and “jealous” (and, there probably are a handful of women who will), but most will get really, really aroused thinking about you having hot, kinky sex with other women from your past. Bottom line: If the choice is between getting a woman aroused by talking about sex between you and her, or talking about sex with other women or allowing her to discuss sex with

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other men (or other women), obviously, go with the former. But if the choice is between the latter, or her not getting aroused at all, then go with “verbal voyeurism /verbal exhibitionism.”

In order to get women really, really turned on, you have to be willing to RISK turning them off It has been my experience that you will never get a woman really turned on by being “safe” or “cautious” with your words and conversation. You have to be provocative. You have to be willing to test the boundaries of a woman’s sensuality and sensibilities. This is where your bold confidence comes in. Comedian and television host Bill Maher said once, “in order to get the crowd to laugh their hardest, you must be willing to play in that area that represents the thin line between ‘good taste’ and ‘bad taste.’ You have to at least know where that line is.” Comedian Dave Chappelle made a similar comment during an interview on Inside the Actor’s Studio. The same concept holds true with sex and seduction. Just about every time that I had a woman so aroused to the point where she was dripping wet, it was when my conversation was so provocative and erotically explicit to the point of almost being ‘rude,’ ‘offensive,’ ‘vulgar,’ or ‘disrespectful.’ Almost. Returning to my discussion about a woman’s conscious mind (social programming) and her subconscious mind (raw desires/emotional impulses/ingrained habits), there are generally three types of responses you are going to receive from a woman. I rank them from least aroused to most aroused: When a woman is going to be the LEAST AROUSED by your sexual conversation with her: When you are discussing a sexual activity or an aspect of sexual intimacy that both her CONSCIOUS MIND and her

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SUBCONSCIOUS MIND perceives as “boring,” “improper,” “unsatisfying,” “immoral,” “painful.” When a woman is going to be MODERATELY AROUSED by your sexual conversation with her: When you are discussing a sexual activity or an aspect of sexual intimacy that both her CONSCIOUS MIND and her SUBCONSCIOUS MIND perceives as “enjoyable,” “acceptable,” “satisfying,” “conventional” When a woman is going to be the MOST AROUSED by your sexual conversation with her: When you are discussing a sexual activity or an aspect of sexual intimacy that causes her CONSCIOUS MIND to “clash” with her SUBCONSCIOUS MIND; for example, her conscious mind says, “You should not be thinking about this activity – it is too kinky,” but her subconscious mind is saying, “go ahead and engage in that activity because your orgasm will be SO powerful and satisfying!” Anytime you create a “I should maintain my ‘good girl’ respectability” VS “I want to let loose and reveal my ‘bad girl’ inner kinky freak side” INTERNAL CONFLICT in a woman’s mind, you are going to get that woman really, really wet. Erotic tension must be present for a woman to get really aroused. And there is no better way to create erotic tension than by creating a high degree of internal conflict between a woman’s conscious mind and her subconscious mind. Men do not really experience the same “good boy” vs. “bad boy” internal conflict dynamic in relation to sex in the same manner that most women have the “good girl” vs. “naughty girl” internal conflict dynamic. Society usually gives men a “pass” as far as being kinky and promiscuous, especially when men are young (although

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men get criticized just as much as, if not more than women for cheating: just ask legendary golfer, Tiger Woods) Now obviously, you cannot approach a woman you do not know and accurately “predict” what is going to turn her on for sure or turn her off for sure. What is the next alternative plan? Approach the conversation with the confident assumption that everything that turns you on is going to turn her on. For the most part, this is a “win-win” situation. If you assume that a woman is turned on by everything that turns you on, and you’re right, there is a 99% chance that the sexual chemistry between you two is going to be fantastic. If you assume that a woman is turned on by everything that turns you on, and you are wrong, then you save yourself a lot of time that you would have invested pursuing a woman who has very few of the same sexual desires and interests that you do. Either way, you “win.” I have had a number of my consultation clients write me and share stories of them having a ménage-a-trois with a woman and one of her girlfriends simply by following the “confident assumption” philosophy. Very few women are just going to walk up to you and say, “Hey! My name is Jessica, what is your name? Do you want to have kinky sex with me and my girlfriend this weekend?” There is a 99.9% chance that is not going to happen. And if it does, “Jessica” is going to charge you money. You have to confidently assume that the women you approach and converse with are just as kinky, if not kinkier, than you are. Get that ‘internal conflict’ going in their heads. I love to see the erotic tension between a woman and myself escalate to the highest degree possible.

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You should try your best to avoid assuming that anything about sex turns a woman off, unless you have some sort of strong gut feeling or intuition that suggest your negative assumptions are valid. I prefer to allow a woman to convey to me that some particular sexual activity is not her “cup of tea.”

Recognize that there is a big difference between having a sexually provocative conversation with a woman, and “hollering crude obscenities” at her One thing I have noticed since college is that many young (and immature) men think “talking dirty” to a woman is synonymous with going to a restaurant like Hooter’s (great restaurant by the way – everyone who is familiar with me – even in other countries, knows that I love me some Hooter’s chicken wings and Peach Snapple) and just yelling out Xrated comments to the waitresses (e.g., “Hey Baby … you have great tits!!”) Being crass and crude in your remarks toward a woman is distinctively different than being verbally erotic and sexually provocative in your conversations with women. The latter requires a true and genuine sense of confidence and smoothness. The former just requires that you have a strip club mentality, a big mouth, and possibly a little bit of liquor in your system. I would compare it to being a respected member of the media versus being a random fan in the stands. When you attend a Major League Baseball game, a National Football league contest, or a National Basketball League game, it is easy to yell out to a player you don’t care for, “Hey [insert first name of professional athlete you do not like here] …. You SUCK!! All that money you’re being played, and you SUCK!!!” Do you think that player is really paying attention to you? Do you think that player would really take the time to respond

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to you? There is a 99% chance that player is going to ignore you and is not going to take you seriously. Now, if a member of the media were to offer that same player some constructive criticisms, more than likely, that player is going to listen and possibly even engage him or her in conversation. It is the same general principle with women. When you simply ‘yell’ or ‘holler’ comments at women, there is a 99% chance that they are going to tune you out. They are not going to take anything you say seriously. You have to actually initiate a conversation with women prior to going into ‘seduction mode.’ At a bare minimum, you have to establish some degree of eye contact with them and get into “their space.” If you are sitting or standing more than three feet away from them, and yelling out X-rated comments about various parts of their anatomy, that is not going to turn on too many women. More than likely, you will be totally ignored. Similarly, never be in “humor mode” when you are trying to seduce a woman. Humor and seduction do not really go together. I believe it was the movie star Eddie Murphy who once said, “you can be funny with women, and you can be sexy with women, but it is very challenging to be both at the exact same moment in time.” I rarely if ever try to be “funny” and “seductive” at the same time. Most women will not take you seriously. They will perceive your attempt at getting them aroused as some sort of a ‘joke.’ They will look at you as if you’re playing a character, instead of being the real you. It is okay to be ‘casually witty’ with women when you are in seduction mode, but avoid trying to be “Mr. Funny Man” or “Mr. Entertainer.” Don’t be the ‘dancing monkey’ for women. That is not a turn-on for women.

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Unless you are feeling really bold and ‘ballsy,’ and you know for a fact that you and a woman have a good degree of sexual chemistry between you two, avoid touching women in any of her “I don’t know you that well” spots This is pretty self-explanatory. I rarely touch women until I know for a 100% fact that she and I have an above-average degree of sexual chemistry going on. It might be okay to touch a woman’s hand, arm, or shoulder, but do not be so bold as to squeeze a woman’s breast(s) or grope a woman’s butt. At a minimum, you might be slapped. At a maximum, you might find yourself with a sexual harassment or sexual assault charge. Keep your hands off of women until they give you a crystal clear “green light” that you are free to get physically aggressive with them. This is where the art and skill of recognizing women’s body language signs come into play. The vast majority of women will let you know with their eyes, their mouths, and their overall body language when you have an “invitation” to touch them in a provocative manner. I always tell men I advise: Converse with and interact with as many women as possible even if they end up rejecting you. My talent for effectively recognizing identifying women’s positive and negative body language comes from literally years and years of interacting with hundreds of women. In the next section, Part Two, I will offer some real-life scenarios with real-life dialogue that I have used with a number of women who I conversed with, and in many cases, ended up in bed with. I hope Part One provided you with the basic fundamentals. Part Two will show how I used these fundamentals to my advantage.

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Quick recap thus far: 1) One of the most powerful tools for verbal seduction is the combination of a calm, relaxed, seductive voice and your ability to create erotic thoughts and visualizations in a woman’s head, using your conversational skills. 2) As mentioned in Chapter One and Chapter Two, many women will have an adverse reaction to sexually provocative conversations, not so much because they simply “don’t like sex,” but rather because the idea of engaging in an erotically explicit conversation goes against their social programming and brainwashing. 3) Most men and women are sexually aroused by what they see and what they hear; men generally tend to be more visual and women generally tend to be more auditory. If you train your voice to have a more ‘seductive’ tone and quality to it, you can actually get women very sexually aroused just by using your words and voice. 4) In order to get women turned on, you must be willing to risk being criticized, insulted or rejected. You cannot get women highly aroused by being overly cautious. 5) If you have yet to have sex with a woman, you should never try to ‘force’ a woman to think about or visualize having sex with you; sometimes, you may have a better chance at getting a woman aroused by making her think of her favorite male celebrity, a past spouse or ex-boyfriend, or anyone else who she has already had enjoyable and satisfying sex with. 6) There is a difference between being seductive and verbally erotic, and simply being crass and crude. Do not aggressively touch women, or be too quick to make comments about their body parts. Also, do not try to be “Mr. Funny Man” with women when you are attempting to seduce them into sex. Confidence, not humor, is the greatest aphrodisiac for women.

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PART TWO: She IS That Kind of Girl Erotic Fiction Based on the Real-Life Verbal Seduction Experiences of Alan Roger Currie If you are a prudish type (I doubt it if you purchased this book, and read it up to this point), please stop reading now. If you think Part One was raw, real and uncensored in parts, Part Two is definitely going to be arguably the most XXXrated content I have ever been bold enough to publish publicly. There was a point in the mid-90s where I actually wanted to pursue a career as a screenwriter for adult films (some would say that is a bit of an oxymoron). I actually went to a workshop in Santa Monica, California entitled, “How to Break into the Adult Film Industry” that was sponsored by The Learning Annex®, and the teacher was adult film legend Nina Hartley. Ms. Hartley sort of laughed when I told her that I wanted to be a screenwriter in the porn industry. Most of the popular porn films do not have much of a plot or any sort of true character development, but I had a handful of female friends at the time in Los Angeles who had encouraged me to at least try. Just about all of my stories featured here in Part Two are approximately 80-90% autobiographical truth, with about 1020% of each story representing some degree of “fictional embellishment” to protect the real names, the real places, and the real days / dates / times of my encounters. Just about all of the names used in each of the following stories are made-up. What is not factitious or fictitious are the general scenarios described, the thoughts running through my head at the time and the subsequent reflections, and probably 95-99% of the dialogue that is used between the characters and I in each

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story. I tried to keep each story as close to what really happened in real life as possible. Part Two of this book will include six stories based on some of my real-life seduction experiences over the years: Verbal Seduction Story #1 Sex in a living room full of people: Alan Roger Currie escalates from Mode Two Nice Guy to Mode One Seducer Verbal Seduction Story #2 Grocery stores have been good to me: Alan Roger Currie takes a study break and gets some pussy Verbal Seduction Story #3 All work and a little erotic play: Alan Roger Currie drops off his resume while the office assistant drops down her leggings Verbal Seduction Story #4 My Mode One experience with an R&B star: Alan Roger Currie gets rejected, but still leaves the conversation with a smile Verbal Seduction Story #5 The Aural Sex Seduction Method: Alan Roger Currie uses phone sex to create instantaneous sexual chemistry in-person Verbal Seduction Story #6 The best wingman a friend can have: Alan Roger Currie uses Mode One Behavior to score a threesome for a friend At the beginning of each story, I will tell you what the premise was, what type of woman I was dealing with (return to page 14 again if need be), and then I will set up the basic back drop of the story and the overall scenario surrounding the verbal seduction that took place. Warning: These stories are more about the seduction and arousal phase of sex than the actual intercourse or climax

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(unless there is something for my [male] readers to learn from the sex itself). None of my stories are representative of me meeting a woman, she and I conversing for a while, and then we simply go somewhere and have sex. As I stated at the beginning of the book, that is not representative of a true seduction. A true seduction takes place when you meet a woman, let her know your sexual desires, interests and intentions … and she initially exhibits some degree of resistance and reluctance, or worse, she begins to criticize you or insult you … but then, because of your persuasive charm and verbal seduction skills … you end up provoking her to change her mind and she eventually reciprocates your sexual desires and interests. Four out of the following six stories are representative of me meeting a woman, and that woman initially, temporarily or indefinitely behaves as though she is not that interested in me or is turned off by me … and then later on, I end up overcoming her “justifications for resistance” and we end up having sex. A word of advice to the men reading: Please do not try to imitate or emulate my dialogue with the women in the stories “word-for-word.” You might not have the same personality that I do to make a lot of my dialogue effective. Instead, pay attention to my mindset and demeanor, which I will usually describe in great detail in each story. At the end of each story, I will offer an overview of the key points to remember for each story. One of the criticisms I received from many of my male readers when I published Mode One was that I did not include enough examples of the specific dialogue that I used with women who I approached and ultimately seduced. Those omissions were by design. I hate dialogue copycats. That is what leads to corny, overused “pick up lines.” Create your own original dialogue with women based on your own personality.

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For example, if you rarely use profanity with women, and you normally use non-profane, “PG-13” type language, do not try to use X-rated or XXX-rated language with women in the same manner that I do with women. You can still be bold, confident, upfront and straightforwardly honest with women about your sexual desires, interests and intentions without necessarily having to use graphic, erotically explicit language. I said the same thing in my book, Mode One. If you are a man reading these stories, I hope they help further your level of knowledge and insight into the art of verbally seducing women. Remember: Seduction is primarily about these four traits: 1) A high degree of confidence and bold, straightforward honesty; 2) A high level of indifference toward negative reactions, criticisms, insults, and rejection; 3) a seasoned knack for quickly identifying a woman’s body language cues and signs; and 4) always maintaining a calm, relaxed voice and a calm, relaxed, ultra-confident demeanor. If you are a woman reading these stories, I hope at least some of the dialogue provokes you to put one or two of your fingers between your legs so that you can start lightly and slowly massage your clit while beginning to play with your pussy. Enjoy the stories.

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Verbal Seduction Story #1 Sex in a living room full of people: Alan Roger Currie escalates from a Mode Two Nice Guy to a Mode One Seducer General Premise: Involved in a “triple date” with two close friends one Friday night Rating on the 1 to 5 Inhibited VS Uninhibited Scale: Woman was a “2” pretending to be a “4” Major Justification for Resistance: Did not want to be perceived as an ‘easy lay’ or a ‘ho’ Many of my enthusiastic and loyal male supporters always ask me, “Alan … when was the VERY FIRST TIME that you can recall exhibiting Mode One Behavior toward a woman?” When I was in high school, just about every female I had sex with was either a girl I was dating, or a girl who I knew ahead of time had a ‘crush’ on me. Even my early years in college were like that. Just about every woman I had sex with were women who I was romantically involved with, or if it was casual sex, the woman had made it clear to me that she was attracted to me and interested in me prior to us engaging in intercourse. I think the very first time I actually “seduced” a woman (i.e., overcame some degree of harsh criticism, reluctance, or resistance in order to get a woman to have sex with me) was probably when I was about 21 going on 22. I had broken up with a long-time college girlfriend, and I was just getting readjusted to being single again. A very close friend of mine, Drake, and another good friend of mine, Vincent, invited me to join them on a “triple date.” I was not all

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that enthusiastic about participating, but both friends heavily persuaded me to join them because Drake’s date was going to be bringing along her younger female cousin. I arrived at Vincent’s apartment, and soon, three women showed up. My “date for the evening” was a sistah (for my nonBlack and non-American readers, ‘sistah’ is slang for an African-American woman) who had a disposition that was about 2/3 “middle class” and about 1/3 “ghetto sassy.” Her name was Deirdre. Drake’s date was Deirdre’s older cousin, Janice, and Vincent’s date was a young lady named Tyla. For about an hour or so, we just sat around Vincent’s apartment talking, cracking jokes, eating snacks, drinking wine coolers, and getting to know one another better. Drake and Janice had fucked already, so the sexual chemistry between them was already evident. Vincent and Tyla had not yet had sex, but based on my observation of how the two interacted, my prediction was that Vincent was well his way to exchanging orgasms with Tyla. It was I who had probably the most uphill battle of the three friends involved. I didn’t know my date at all, and she was being extremely smart-alecky and sarcastic all evening. As time passed, Deirdre’s personality began to annoy me more and more. Physically, she was very sexy. Deirdre had a very nice figure. I’ll say this: Personality and behavior-wise, she was not the type of woman I would’ve pursued as a girlfriend (among other reasons, she just talked too damn much for my taste), but she was not the type of woman I would’ve kicked out of my bed on a Friday or Saturday night if I were in-between relationships. Based on our conversation, I got the sense that her usual preference for romantic and sexual companions were men who had very urban, streetwise sensibilities (i.e., ‘thuggish’ or ‘roughneck’ types). She perceived me as being “bougie” (pronounced ‘boo-jee’, which is slang for “bourgeoisie” or “upper middle class”), which I found very entertaining.

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All she did was nitpick at various aspects of my personality and behavior all night. Most of her criticisms, insults, and personal jabs were lighthearted, but they were still annoying nonetheless. “I bet you date those ‘Jack and Jill’ type bougie women, don’t you…” The fact that she was even familiar with Jack and Jill was moderately impressive (for my foreign readers, Jack and Jill is a very selective, middle class-oriented organization here in the United States that a lot of upper middle class, highly educated African-American families belong to). The truth was, I actually had gone out on dates with my share of women who were from families that belonged to the ‘Jack and Jill’ organization. I never considered myself ‘ghetto’ or ‘street,’ but I also never considered myself pretentious or ‘snooty’ either. I generally have always categorized myself as an “in-between” Black person. Over the years, I have maintained friendships with Black men and women from both extremes of the socio-economic spectrum. As I mentioned in my first paperback, Mode One, my late mother had brought me up to always behave like a wellmannered “gentleman.” My mother believed that when you present yourself to women as a well-mannered, ‘classy gentleman,’ your chances would increase of attracting a “high quality” woman. By ‘high quality,’ she meant women who would make a good wife and a great mother to my (potential) children. I recall one time, when I was a college student in Bloomington, Indiana, I had a conversation with a female friend of mine named Francesca. She was asking me what specific qualities and attributes in a woman distinguished her from being “girlfriend” material versus “one-night stand / weekend fling / casual sex” material. Later in the conversation, Francesca started offering her own assessment of men who she felt either fit in the “steady

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boyfriend” category or the “I-just-want-him-to-fuck-me-for-afew-days-or-a-few-weeks” category. She even offered a third category, which were men who could ‘float’ back-and-forth between the first two categories. Francesca ended up saying, “Alan … I think you are in the ‘steady boyfriend’ category. I never hear women expressing a desire to have casual sex with you. When your name is mentioned, all the girls talk about is wanting you as their next boyfriend.” Now, you would think that comment would flatter me, right? Wrong. That comment pissed me off because I wanted Francesca to place in me in that third “floater” category. I wanted to be perceived as both romantically desirable (“steady boyfriend” category) and sexually desirable (“casual sex” category). Returning to the evening of the triple-date scenario with Deirdre, I could tell that Deirdre looked at me as this “goody two-shoes” type. The type that didn’t drink, didn’t use profanity, didn’t smoke weed, and went to church every Sunday. I guess you could say her assessment was fairly accurate, because I was not a big drinker (more of a social drinker), I was not really into drugs (I think I inhaled a joint a handful of times in my life), and I had been raised in the Lutheran Church since elementary school (where I later served on the church’s Board of Trustees as the High School Youth Director). Probably my only real vice, if you want to even call it a ‘vice,’ was my X-rated mouth and hardcore sense of eroticism. I love to fuck “porno movie” style more so than I get into “making love” like in a conservative PG-rated romantic drama. I absolutely love to get my dick sucked. I may not roll a joint or snort cocaine with a woman, or drop back shots of vodka with a woman, but I will put my dick in their mouth in a micro-second.

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After ninety minutes or more of entertaining chit chat and lighthearted antagonistic conversation with Deirdre, I started to make it known to her that I wanted to get physical, and eventually sexual. Every time I made a move though, Deirdre would rebuff me. “You don’t think I’m one of those hos that gives it up on the first night do you? (she laughs and giggles) Brutha puhleaze. I am no man’s ho. I am not a slut. You will be lucky to get a kiss on the cheek by the end of the night.” After a while, I became agitated and frustrated. My attitude was, “I came out of the house for this shit? To listen to this woman do all of this damn talking about shit I could care less about? Fuck this bullshit.” I tried my best to keep my growing frustration and negativity in check, because I didn’t want to rain on anyone else’s party. Drake and Janice were getting along fine, and so was Vincent and Tyla. Both couples had already kissed at this point, and were in the early stages of making out. Deirdre and I were the only couple in the room that was not making out yet. I can’t stand to be around a woman who is not willing to be physical or sexual with me when I’m horny. I mean, I absolutely hate it. I’d rather be at home by myself jacking off to a good porno flick than to interact with a woman platonically when I’m horny. I only like being around women platonically if I am in a relationship (and I’m already being sexually satisfied by my girlfriend) or if I am not horny or I am not physically or sexually attracted to the woman whose company I am sharing. I have a male friend that used to tease me all the time back in the mid-to-late 1990s when we lived in Los Angeles together. He would say, “Alan … you are one brutha that hates to be around women if they are not talking about fucking. ‘Are we fuckin’?’ should be your personal mantra with women. There should be a poster of you smirking, with your arms raised, and on the poster it says, ‘Are we fuckin’?”

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This friend and I used to laugh about it, but all jokes aside, that is how I really am. I am not very good at “pretending” to be interested in only a platonic social interaction with a woman when I know deep-down that I want to have sex with her. It is actually that particular quirk or frustration of mine that first led me to start exhibiting Mode One Behavior toward women. As a man, I see other men do this constantly. And what is funny, there are so many naïve women out here that can’t even identify it. Very few men I have met and conversed with in my life enjoy sharing the company of a woman in a purely platonic manner if they find that woman physically attractive and sexually appealing. Very few. I tell most of my attractive female friends all the time: “I may act like I am ‘just your ‘friend’ for now, but if I ever catch you bending over in front of me without any panties on, I’m going to slide my hard dick in your pussy and fuck you silly.” They usually giggle and say, “Alan, you’re so bad. You’re so nasty.” I am not joking. Back to the story again, I kept making mild physical moves, and Deirdre kept rejecting each one of them. Finally, I went outside of the apartment. Sometimes, when I get frustrated, I just need to take a walk, so I was on the verge of taking a walk. To my surprise, Deirdre followed me outside. She was like, “What are you doing? So, you’re going to be anti-social now? You’re going to pout like a baby because I won’t let you tongue kiss me and make out with me? What a crybaby!!” Then, she just started laughing. And laughing. And laughing. Did you see the movie Back to the Future? Remember how Marty McFly (actor Michael J. Fox) went back in time, and found out that his Dad, George (actor Crispin Glover) was basically a geek, a nerd and a wimp? (Spoiler Alert if you have not seen the movie) There was a scene in that film

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where the “bully” in the film, “Biff,” is on the verge of dateraping Marty’s (future) mother. Marty’s (future) father comes to protect her, but he is scared of Biff. Biff tells him to go away, and pushes him. Then, Biff just starts laughing. And laughing. And laughing. You can see Marty’s father starting to get angry and angrier. He had always been the “wimpy nice guy,” but at this moment, his jaws were tightening and his fist was balling up. Sure enough, George McFly cocks back, and knocks Biff the fuck out. George’s life was never the same after that. No more wimp, no more geek, no more loser. George ends up marrying the woman of his dreams, and they live happily ever after. Well, I felt like George McFly when Deirdre was laughing at me, and referring to me as a ‘crybaby.’ Up to this point, I had always bit my tongue with a lot of sassy, smart-alecky type women because I was always trying to adhere to my late mother’s advice about “presenting myself as a well-mannered and classy gentleman” when in the company of a woman. Well, at this moment, I was like, “Fuck that ‘Mr. Gentleman’ bullshit.” I remember a fraternity brother of mine named Bo once said, “There is a time and a place to be a gentleman … but sometimes, you just have to get raw and greasy with a woman.” Bo was hardcore and from the streets, but he was intelligent. He had dated and fucked his share of hot honeys. What he meant by ‘raw and greasy’ was simply to be your real, true self, and unleash your uncensored sexuality to a woman. As I alluded to earlier, I had been ‘raw and greasy’ with women before, but it was always with women who I knew for a fact ahead of time that they wanted to have sex with me. Up to this point, I had never really been ‘raw and greasy’ with a firsttime acquaintance in the very first conversation … especially a woman who was rebuffing my advances left and right all night. Again, at this point, I was just like “Fuck it.”

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As she kept laughing, I looked her dead in her eyes. I could feel my whole demeanor changing. I was slowly, but surely experiencing a metamorphosis from “Mr. Well Spoken Nice Guy” to “Mr. I Want to Put My Dick in Your Mouth.” Finally, I said, “Crybaby?!? I’ll tell you this … I won’t be crying when I am watching you suck my hard dick.” She stopped laughing. She said, “Excuse me?!? What did you say?!?!?” Deirdre’s demeanor was almost as if she was about to haul back and try to slap me. The “gentleman” side of me was tempted to back off that comment and possibly apologize. But my newly found “Mode One” side had been stifled enough, and was ready to come out and play. I said, “You’re excused. And you heard me. You got two choices tonight … either leave me the fuck alone … or let’s go back inside and fuck. Either, or.” Remember when I said one of the keys to seduction is not caring what women think of your behavior or your manner of verbal expression? This was one of those moments for me. I did not care if this woman thought of me as an “asshole” or a “jerk” for saying what I said. I either wanted her to leave me alone … or give me some pussy or suck my dick. That’s the primary key to being Mode One with women. Always put a woman in a position where she has to either a) 100% acknowledge an interest in you, and subsequently reciprocate your desires and interests, or b) 100% acknowledge a complete lack of interest in you, and firmly reject you and eventually leave you alone. Anytime you allow a woman to offer you a response that is somewhere “in-between” full reciprocation and full rejection, you are opening up the door for a woman to engage you in manipulative ‘head games.’ I just knew this woman was going to fly off the handle, and start cursing me out. I was ready for it. She was a straight-up sistah with some ‘street’ tendencies (even though I believe she

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had much more of a middle class upbringing than a “I’m from the hood” background; she just liked to play the hard, urban role with men). To my surprise though, her voice got much softer after I firmly stated my two non-negotiable choices. Matter of fact, her whole disposition changed. She said, “Wow. I’m seeing a different side of Alan now, huh?” I didn’t even respond. I just looked at her in her eyes. Then I said, “Where is your car?” She looked around at the near parking lot, and pointed it out to me. I said, “Let’s go to your car.” She obeyed and we walked to her car. Minutes later, we were in her car, and I just pulled my dick out, and started stroking it. She looked at me like I had lost my mind. “You are REALLY trippin’ me out now mister…” I said, “Shut the fuck up and look at my hard dick.” She resisted for a few seconds and then she started staring at my dick while I stroked it. She just gazed at it, all the while licking her lips. “I have never had a man do something like this without being drunk … are you drunk?” She had this nervous, slightly uncomfortable giggle following that question. I had actually had one or two wine coolers, but I was far from drunk. I knew exactly what I was doing. I am a man who does not need alcohol or liquor in my system in order to exhibit bold behavior. After a few moments of watching her watch me stroke my hard dick, I said very firmly, “Suck it.” Deirdre started lowering her head, but then I took a firm hold of the back of her head and guided her head down toward my dick. She started sucking my dick like she owed me money. She was really, really into it. I stopped, and lifted her head up. I said, “Apologize to me for giving me a hard time...” She paused, but then she obeyed. In a soft voice she said, “I’m sorry for acting like a bitch Alan…” I didn’t expect Deirdre to use the “b-word,” but it sure did add some extra “spice” to our verbal interplay. I enthusiastically said, “Oooooh …. Say it again…”

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Remember this phrase of mine. This would, over the next 20-25 years, become my “signature phrase” related to verbal seduction and talking dirty to women during sex and phone sex. “Oooooh …. Say it Again.” This is how that phrase became the title of this very book you are reading (The truth is, just about all of my former lovers or phone sex partners who I remain in regular contact with damn near demanded that ‘Oooooh … Say it Again’ be the title of my next book). I made her say “I’m sorry for acting like a bitch” about five or six times. Then she said, “Can we please go back inside? It’s kinda cold out here” I said, “Say ‘please sir … can we please go back inside where it’s warm so I can continue sucking your dick?’” Sure enough, she obeyed. I made her repeat it twice by saying, “Oooooh …. Say it Again.” We went back into Vincent’s apartment, and all of the lights were dimmed down very low. It was almost so dark in the living room that it was a challenge to make everyone out. Drake and Janice were making out on the couch in the living room, and Vincent and Tyla were making out in a big, comfy chair. I told Deirdre to take off her clothes. She said, “Yes sir…” in a very soft, submissive voice. Moments later, she was in nothing but a bra and panties. I slowly slid down her panties, and started kissing her on her neck. Then I took off her bra, and started slowly sucking her nipples. I engaged in about ten minutes or so of foreplay, and then I started fucking her in the missionary position with her legs on my shoulders. Within minutes, Drake, Vincent, Janice and Tyla were TRIPPIN’. I mean, big-time trippin. I could hear both couples whispering about me fucking Deirdre, and I could even see them in the dimly lit room pointing at me and making gestures with their hands. They were saying things like, “They are fucking! Right there on the floor in front of us!! They are bold!!” Even though the living room was dimly lit, you could still make out Deirdre and I’s bodies on the floor.

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I was expressing all sorts of erotic dirty talk to Deirdre while I was fucking her. I love to talk dirty during sex. Me: “You love this dick don’t you…” Her: “Yes sir … I love it …” Me: “Oooooh … Say it again…’ Her: “I love your dick sir …. I love it …” Me: “Now, tell me again that you are sorry for giving me such a hard time earlier tonight… call yourself a bitch again…” Her: “I am so sorry sir … I was acting like a bitch earlier … but now … I’m your bitch…” Me: “Oooooooooooooh …. Say that again …” Her: “I am your bitch sir … I’m your obedient good bitch sir ….” I love fucking a woman who has made a transition from previously being defiant, smart-alecky and hard-to-get-alongwith to becoming very erotically obedient and submissive. I mean, I absolutely love that contrast in a woman. I believe all men do (except those rare men who love being erotically dominated by women). That is a huge turn-on for me. Robert Beck a.k.a. “Iceberg Slim” said in his book, PIMP: The Story of My Life that many women will purposely bust a man’s balls in order to a) see how much backbone a man has, and b) to motivate men who they are interested in having sex with to become more (erotically) dominant toward them. Deirdre and I fucked and fucked and fucked. I came once and she came twice. Minutes later, we both went into the bathroom, cleaned up, and got dressed. Our chemistry was great from that point forward.

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Later, Drake expressed disbelief. He was like, “Dude … dude … dude … what the fuck was that?? How did you get that woman to let you fuck her in front of all of us like that?? Is she drunk?? It almost seemed like you had her ‘hypnotized’ or something. She seemed like a totally different person than she did earlier in the evening. What did you do, or say to her??” I have had at least a handful of female friends tell their girlfriends, “Watch out for Alan … he will put you in a trance. He is some sort of verbal hypnotist.” I even pitched a spec screenplay in the late 1990s to a couple of Hollywood studios called “Hypnotized” which was based on my Mode One seduction principles and philosophies. What I have found is, when you get real with women … I mean, really, really REAL with women … you can, in your own way, ‘hypnotize’ them. Quick lessons to take away from this experience of mine: • Don’t ever allow a woman to browbeat you, and leave you feeling agitated, frustrated or disrespected on a date. It is one thing to be well-mannered, cordial and polite, but it is another thing to suppress your true desires, interests and intentions to the point where you are being timid or disingenuous. Even if you don’t end up having sex with a woman, always be forthright and outspoken about your romantic or sexual desires, interests and intentions. • Secondly, many women will give off a “hard front,” but that is all it is … a “front.” A façade. Robert Beck a.k.a. “Iceberg Slim,” a legendary pimp from the ‘60s and ‘70s, said that many women will try to “test you” to see how much shit you will take from them before you put them in their place. Many submissive women will purposely act defiant, domineering and controlling just to see if you’re going to unleash your dominant side with them. This is what Deirdre was doing with me. In the end, she wanted to be erotically dominated. She challenged me to be more dominant, and I rose to the challenge. You do the same.

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Verbal Seduction Story #2 Grocery stores have been good to me: Alan Roger Currie takes a study break and gets some pussy General Premise: I take a study break while apartment sitting and meet a young lady at the local grocery store Rating on the 1 to 5 Inhibited VS Uninhibited Scale: Woman was a “3” pretending to be a “4” Major Justification for Resistance: Did not believe in having (casual) sex with a man in the same day she met him As I mentioned in my book, Mode One, even though I started exhibiting Mode One Behavior toward women back in the mid-1980s, I really did not begin specifically referring to my ultra-confident, upfront, unapologetic and straightforwardly honest behavior as ‘Mode One Behavior’ until October of 1990. Verbal Seduction Story #1 was not really a true ‘Mode One’ experience, because for the first hour-and-a-half to two hours of that night, I was Mode Two. I did not escalate up to Mode One until later. This story is more representative of me being Mode One with a woman from the time I opened my mouth. For those who have not yet read my first paperback, Mode One (shame on you), here is a quick recap of each mode: Mode One Behavior: When you confidently approach a woman, and express your romantic or sexual desires, interests and intentions to that woman in an upfront, unapologetic, straightforwardly honest manner usually within the first three-tofive minutes of your first conversation with her; Mode Two Behavior: When you approach a woman, and initially, you indulge her in five-to-ten minutes or more of entertaining or highly flattering “small talk” and “chit chat,” and

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then, later on toward the middle or end of your first conversation with this woman (or in some cases, not until your second or third conversation with a woman), you let her know what your honest desires, interests, and intentions are in a very cautious, vague, polite, or “beat-around-the-bush” manner; Mode Three Behavior: This mode actually has three subcategories: 1) When you avoid approaching a woman at all due to a severe fear of rejection; 2) When you approach a woman and initiate a conversation, but all you do is engage her in trivial “small talk,” never expressing any sort of romantic or sexual desires and interests, or 3) When you approach a woman, and give her a misleading impression of what your true desires, interests and intentions are (e.g., pretending to be interested in a platonic friendship when you really want to date a woman, or pretending to be interested in a long-term or monogamous sexual relationship when you really just want a short-term or non-monogamous sexual relationship) Mode Four Behavior: When you approach a woman with the primary objective of insulting her, harshly criticizing her, antagonizing her, and purposely trying to anger her and piss her off. You have no real interest in dating a woman or having sex with her, you just get off on leaving women feeling agitated. By late 1990, no later than early 1991, I had become fully cognizant of which mode I was operating in at any point in time during one of my interactions with a woman of interest. I knew exactly when I was being Mode One with a woman, Mode Two, Mode Three, or Mode Four. In January of 1991, I returned to college to finish my last few credit hours toward my undergraduate degree in Economics (I had left school earlier before earning my degree to pursue a professional acting career). At the time I did not have my own place (was living with my parents), so every woman I had sex with during this particular point in time, I had

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to either go over to their place (assuming they had their own place), or I had to rent a hotel or an hourly motel. Every now and then, my fraternity brother “JK” would let me use his apartment whenever he was traveling out of town on business. I really appreciated his generosity, because it was the closest thing I had available to having my own place. JK and I pledged together and we are still close friends to this day. One weekend, JK was going to be out of town from Wednesday evening until the following Monday afternoon or evening. JK told me that I could use his apartment from that Thursday through that Sunday. I ended up getting the keys from him and coming to his place that Friday afternoon. I did not have a serious girlfriend at the time, which meant I was like many single heterosexual men: horny for sex. Actually, I did a good job of not even thinking about sex most of the time because I was so ultra-focused on academics at the time that women were very much a secondary priority for me. I very badly wanted to earn “Dean’s List Scholar Honors,” so I tried to avoid social distractions and other temptations at all costs. Consequently, I spent practically that entire Friday studying for each of the courses I was enrolled in. On Saturday, even though JK left me with an open invitation to help myself to his refrigerator, I decided to go out and do some grocery shopping. I ended up at the local grocery store in the Sauk Village, Illinois area on Saturday evening with the intention of buying some food and beverages to last me thru Sunday afternoon or evening. My weight has always been up and down, and this was a period when it was down. My physique was pretty lean and athletic from doing a lot of running and also muscular from doing a lot of push-ups on a daily basis. As a result, I found myself shopping for healthy foods instead of tasty junk food.

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After being in the store for about five minutes or so, I notice this very attractive woman who looked young. She looked to be about 21 or 22 (I was about 27 at the time). I could tell from her body that she had either participated in ballet dancing as a teenager, or ran track. All women who did ballet or ran track tend to have a particular type of build (particularly, their ass). I was checking her out, and she could see that I was checking her out. As I got closer, I carefully examined her ring finger on her left hand to see if she had a wedding band on. Fortunately, she did not. So I assumed she was not married, and now I needed to find out if she was in the grocery store alone, or was their some male companion in another isle. Me: “Shopping on a Saturday night huh …” Her: “(smiles) Yep. There is hardly ever anyone in here on a Saturday evening … that is why Saturday night is one of my favorite nights to do grocery shopping….” Me: “Are you here alone?” Her: “(smiles) Yep. Just me, myself and I. What about you?” Me: “Yes. I too am shopping on a Saturday night … by my damn self” She giggles. I decide to make a move. Me: “You and I should hook up….” Her: “Oh really. And why is that…” Me: “Because I am very attracted to you.” Her: “Why thank you. That is flattering. What is your name?” Me: “Alan. Alan Roger Currie.”

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Her: “Wow. I get all three names huh? (laughs) I’m flattered. My name is Felicia” Me: “So … what are you doing when you leave here …” Her: “Uhm … DUH … Going home! Aren’t you?” Me: “Well, I don’t live here. I am doing some apartment sitting for a fraternity brother of mine” Her: “Oh … a frat man huh. So how long are you apartment sitting?” Me: “Until tomorrow afternoon.” Her: “I should invite you to join me for church tomorrow morning! (giggles) Well, it was good meeting you. Take care.” Then, she just starts walking away. Of course, I was not going to allow that to just happen. Me: “Hold up ….” I walk fast to catch up with her. Me: “I think we should hook up in the near future …” Her: “Sorry, but I don’t just ‘hook up’ with strangers. I mean, you seem pretty harmless, but I don’t know you.” Then, as I usually do many times with women … I just stop and look at her directly in her eyes. I don’t say anything. I just spend a good six-to-eight full seconds just looking at her directly in her eyes to get a good read on her. Her: “Why are you just staring at me like that….” Time to express myself Mode One – HARDCORE style. Me: “Because I can’t wait to fuck you…” Her (startled): “I beg your pardon?!?”

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Me: “You heard me. I know for a 100% fact that you and I are going to end up fucking. I can just feel it. Ideally, I want to fuck you tonight … but even if I don’t fuck you tonight, I am very confident that you are going to let me fuck you sometime soon.” She was speechless for a minute or two. I could tell she had never had a man be as bold, upfront and straightforward with her like I was being. She looked at me as if I had lost my damn mind. Her: “Now this is truly a first. I guess I have to admire how bluntly honest you are about your desire for sex, but I have to let you know right off the bat – I do not meet men in the grocery store and then go somewhere and have sex with them. I mean, I don’t even know you! You could be crazy or something.” Here are some important points to always remember: Seduction is similar to sales. In sales, there are three reactions you are going to get from a potential customer: on one end, total interest; on the opposite end, total lack of interest; and then somewhere right in the middle of those two extremes is “resistance” or “reluctance.” It is the latter reaction that most requires your A+ sales skills. When a customer is totally interested in your product or service, you don’t really have to “sell” them. The product or service is selling itself. On the flip side, if a customer is totally not interested in spending money on your product or service, then even the best salesman is not going to be successful. Salesmanship most comes into play when a customer WANTS what you’re offering, but they are NOT CONVINCED that your product or service is of good quality, or they are not sure it is worth the price you are asking for. Same principle applies to seduction. When you approach a woman, and you let her know what your romantic or sexual desires, interests and intentions are, you are only

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going to get one of three reactions: total interest (reciprocation), total lack of interest (rejection), or a reaction that is somewhere in-between, which usually means that a woman has some degree of interest in you … but the voice of her social programming is telling her, “Don’t give in to him. Avoid having casual sex at all costs. You will be perceived as a ‘ho,’ a ‘slut,’ and an ‘easy lay.’ Don’t risk your reputation! It is not worth it!” What is the most effective way you can distinguish between rejection and resistance or reluctance? When a woman is truly not interested in sharing your company in a romantic or sexual manner, she will usually just very calmly say, “I am not interested,” or something to that effect and then just make an attempt to end her conversation with you. At minimum, she will attempt to switch the subject from sex to something non-sexual. On the other hand, when a woman has some degree of attraction to you and some degree of interest in sharing your company in a romantic or sexual manner, but her social programming is telling her to avoid having (casual) sex with you, this is when she will begin to highlight specific attributes about you that she doesn’t care for … or offer you very detailed explanations as to why you two cannot hook up. Women who are truly not interested in you will not offer detailed explanations or very specific, nitpicky criticisms of your behavior. Only women who are ‘pretending’ not to be interested will take the time to offer very specific and nitpicky criticisms of your behavior or your manner of verbal expression. The latter is exactly what Felicia started doing . . . Her: “You’re a little bit too forward for me … I don’t think we would be a good match. I’m a church-going girl . . .” Me: “So you like men who are full of shit …” Her: “I didn’t say that …”

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Me: “Either you like straightforward honesty … or you like bullshit. Or, even if you don’t LIKE bullshit, you tolerate it…” Her: “Let me make this clear Mr. Alan Roger Currie … I don’t like men who are dishonest or full of shit. I really don’t. And I don’t tolerate men who are dishonest or full of shit either. But I also don’t like men who approach me and immediately talk about ‘fucking me’ either. I don’t like men who are totally focused on just sex. I like men who carry themselves like a gentleman, who have a number of interests beyond just sex…” Now, I am smirking. I have this woman right where I want her. Her whole body language was starting to get riled up and feisty, which is exactly how I want a woman to be when I am being Mode One with a woman and looking to seduce her. Me: “So … are we fucking tonight … or tomorrow …” Her (sighs emphatically): “You just don’t give up, do you? No Mr. Alan Roger Currie, we are not having ‘fucking’ tonight, tomorrow, or ever. I mean, you’re a confident, seemingly intelligent guy and everything, but I just don’t connect with men on an intimate level that quickly. I don’t know you, or know anything about you. You could be married for all I know….” See what I’m talking about? No woman who is truly not interested in me would even take time to give me that much verbiage and do that much talking. Know your women fellas. Me: “Okay. I am going to do one more thing Felicia and then I’m going to leave you alone….” Her: “And what is that…” Me: “I am going to find a pen, and a piece of paper, and I’m going to leave you with my number….” Felicia just sighed again, as if to say, “Damn! You don’t give up, do you?!?” I made my way to the deli department, got a pen

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and a piece of paper, wrote down my name, my number, and JK’s apartment phone number. I came back and gave it to Felicia, who was still standing in the same spot. (that is important to remember … she did not move from her spot.) Me: “I am very confident that I am going to hear from you tonight….” Her: “I’ll say this about you Mr. Alan Roger Currie … You are one very, very confident, and one very, very persistent man. You are relentless.” I moved closer to her, got in her space, and whispered in her ear. Me: “I’m going to fuck you… I’m going to slowly slide my hard juicy dick in and out of your pussy … in and out … in and out … I’m going to have your pussy so moist … so wet …” Revisiting the internet survey I mentioned on page 63-64, 54% of women surveyed said they love for a man to talk dirty to them in an X-rated or XXX-rated manner, assuming that they have some degree of interest in him and attraction for him. 28% of the women surveyed said they prefer a more PG13 or R-rated style of erotic dirty talk, and the remaining 18% said they only like “subtle innuendo” or no erotic dirty talk at all (women who are true 5s would fall into that 18%). Her: “You are so bad!!! Does your mother know how bad you are? Like I said earlier … instead of talking about ‘fucking,’ you and I should be going to church together tomorrow!” Me: “So … my frat brother’s place in about two hours?“ Felicia sighs yet again, as if to say, “this is the most persistent brutha I have met in my life!” And she is right. I tell men all the time: If you firmly reject me, I will simply leave you alone. But if you resist me, I will become extremely persistent.

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I once again look at her directly in her eyes. I can tell she is on the verge of giving in to me. I can feel it. She returns the look, and eventually, she displays a smirk on her face. Her: “How far is your friend’s place from here?” BINGO. Got her. Me: “Not far at all.” Her: “Let me finish my shopping. Write down the address on the back of this sheet of paper you gave me, and I will come and keep you company. But I want to let you know … I am just coming over to talk, chit chat, get to know you, and maybe watch a movie. Nothing remotely sexual is going to happen!” Famous last words. I wrote down JK’s address on the back of the small piece of paper that I had written my phone number on. I gave it to her, she put in her purse, we exchanged smiles, and then she walked away to continue her shopping. I finished my shopping, paid for my groceries, and then I returned to JK’s apartment. I took a quick shower, put some cologne on, and changed into some new casual clothes. Then I wait. And wait. And wait. Two hours go by, and no phone call or apartment door buzzer. I am starting to think Felicia had changed her mind, and is going to flake out on me. So I fixed myself a meal, started watching television, and soon began doing some more studying for my classes. Then, approximately three-and-a-half hours after I left the store, the apartment buzzer rings. It is Felicia. She had changed clothes and she had make-up on this time.

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Even though she was about five years or so younger than me, she was very mature in her speech and demeanor. She was not silly at all. I offered her a few wine coolers, and we actually sat and conversed for about a half-hour or so. Then, she brought up my approach. Her (smiling): “You know you are really, really bold…” Me (smirking): “I’ve heard that.” Her: “I bet you have. Do you approach all women like this? Do you tell all women right off the bat that you want to fuck them? And that you’re going to slowly slide your hard dick in their pussies?” Me: “Oooooh . . . Say it again …” Her (giggles): “You are so bad. Once again Mr. Alan Roger Currie, do you tell all women right after meeting them that you want to fuck them and slide your hard dick in their pussies….” Me: “If I think they are deserving of me fucking them, yes.” Her: “So that’s what it was? I was ‘deserving’ of your dick?? Wow … you are too much Mr. Alan Roger Currie! You are truly one of a kind…” Me: “Lean toward me…” Felicia paused, and then leaned toward me. Seconds later, we were engaged in a passionate tongue kiss. We kissed … and kissed … and kissed. Next thing you know, my clothes were off, her clothes were off, and we were fucking like horny rabbits. And of course, I talked dirty to her the whole time we were fucking. That year, I ended up having at least four more ‘Mode One seductions’ that were similar to this one. My belief in the power of Mode One was solidified. Mode One Behavior FOR LIFE.

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Quick lessons to take away from this experience of mine: • When you approach women in public venues such as grocery stores, bookstores, shopping malls, etc., take a quick scan of their ring finger to see if they have an engagement ring or wedding band on. Similarly, scan your surroundings or their surroundings to see if they are in that venue alone, with a relative or girlfriend, or a possible male companion. You don’t want to quickly approach a woman and start being Mode One, only to have the woman’s boyfriend, fiancé, or husband walk up a few seconds later. • Always pay attention to a woman’s body language in addition to listening to what she has to say, and how she verbally responds to you. Women who are genuinely not interested in you will start moving away from you. If a woman is interested, she will either remain in the same place, or move toward you. Similarly, women who are truly not interested in you don’t say much other than, “I’m not interested.” Women who are resisting you will offer very detailed explanations to justify their lack of interest in you or they will express very specific, nitpicky criticisms of you, your behavior, and your manner of verbal expression. • Only be persistent with women when they are resisting your advances, or behaving as though they are reluctant to share your company. Do not become persistent with a woman after that woman has firmly rejected you. If there is one major complaint I have always received from women, it is that many men do not know when to accept the fact that they have been rejected, and when to leave them alone. Do not ‘hound’ or ‘stalk’ a woman. Anytime a woman says something like, “I have absolutely no interest in having sex with you” or “I have no interest in sharing your company in the near future,” that means you have been firmly rejected.

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Verbal Seduction Story #3 All work and a little erotic play: Alan Roger Currie drops off his résumé while the office assistant drops down her leggings General Premise: I go to a business office to drop off a résumé and a female from the office next door greets me Rating on the 1 to 5 Inhibited VS Uninhibited Scale: Woman was a “2” pretending to be a “3” Major Justification for Resistance: Was reluctant to have sex with a man she just met in her place of employment There are some loyal supporters of mine who actually already know about this particular story. I have a webpage related to my site (http://www.modeone.net) entitled “How John Leslie’s character of ‘Jack’ in the Adult Film Classic ‘Talk Dirty to Me’ helped influence Mode One Behavior.” On that page, I listed five of my most memorable Mode One “same day seductions.” This story was one of those five entries. Have you ever been in a position where you had to look for a job when you knew ahead of time that you were going to quit? My situation was this: I was going to be starting graduate business school in mid-to-late August, but it was now early-tomid May, and I needed a good-paying job. I already had a telemarketing job that was part-time, but that job had me stressed out from being on the phone for four-to-five hours straight each day I worked. There were some employers who were offering ‘seasonal’ or ‘summertime’ employment, but the job I most wanted was looking for someone permanent. I did not want to lie, but I

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really did want this job. At minimum, I was going to pick up an application for the job and drop off my résumé. The name of the building I was going to was called the Poplars Building which was in Bloomington, Indiana. The building primarily housed a lot of offices related to Indiana University, which was the biggest employer in the city. The specific office I was going to was on the fifth floor, so I had a choice between taking the stairs or the elevator. I decided to take the elevator. My plan was to go upstairs, pick up an employment application while dropping off my résumé, and maybe engage in some friendly small talk with one of the personnel members of my potential employer. I caught the next elevator to the fifth floor, and once I exited the elevator, I saw so many different office doors, that I was starting to get confused. I had to pull out my sheet of paper that had the exact office number on it. At the time I got off of the elevator, it was about 12:05pm EST. A few moments later, I saw this sistah who was wearing these skin-tight white nylon or cotton spandex leggings. It literally looked as though someone had just spray painted her skin white. I mean, you could literally see the complete curvature, and even the defined crack of her ass in these leggings. She looked as though she had been a ballet dancer or track and field sprinter just like Felicia from the last story. She had a small waist and what most Black men would categorize as an “onion” or a “bubble butt.” I mean, her ass was almost perfectly round. Black women come in all shades (which is what I love about them), and this sistah was a deep brown chocolate. This woman had some of the prettiest skin I have ever seen on a woman. This sistah asked me did I need any help finding a particular office. I told her what office I was looking for. Turns

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out, she worked in the office that was right next door to the one I was looking for. Her: “The people in the office you’re looking for are all out for lunch until 1:00pm. Matter of fact, just about this entire floor leaves for lunch at 12 Noon and does not return until about 12:50pm or 12:55pm, if not a couple of minutes later.” Me: “And just what is your name . . .” Her: “Charmaine. And yours?” Me: “Alan. Alan Roger Currie. (pause) So I guess I need to come back in about an hour huh? I was going to pick up an application for employment and then drop off my resume…” Her: “Well, if you want to, and you trust me, you could leave your resume with me, and I can drop it off when that office opens back up at 1pm…” Me: “(fucking with her) Why should I trust you Charmaine? I mean, you don’t really have a trustworthy face…” Charmaine giggles. She gives me that look as if to say, “You’re a trip.” Her: “Or … I was just going to eat my lunch in my office right next door. I’m bored … so if you want to sit in my office with me, and keep me company, you can …” My dick got semi-erect at that moment (seriously). Right then, I was already like 95% sure I was going to end up fucking her in the near future. I just knew it. Sometimes, you can just tell by a woman’s demeanor combined with the situation, and the woman’s verbal responses to the things you say and ask. I was extremely confident that I was going to end up fucking Charmaine. I had no idea though we would end up fucking in her office that afternoon, but that is just how things worked out.

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Me: “Sure. It would be my pleasure to keep you company…” My devil horns were showing for sure. I was already visualizing myself fucking Charmaine. I could not take my eyes off her thighs, ass, and skin. She had a very sexy walk. You could tell by the way she moved that she was sensuous and loved to fuck. Her demeanor was very feminine and friendly. I spent the first 7 or 8 minutes in her office just letting her eat her lunch while I browsed through a couple of magazines. Then, we engaged in probably about 2 or 3 minutes of entertaining “small talk” (and as you know, I hate small talk). Finally, after about ten minutes or so into my visit, I brought up the subject of sex. Me: “Have you ever been fucked in this office . . .” Charmaine did not say anything for a good 10-15 seconds. She was damn near speechless. Finally, after seconds of silence, she said . . . Her: “Excuse me?!?” Me: “You’re excused…” Her: “I cannot believe … you just asked me that question” Me: “Well, believe it. I did.” Her: “You have some mouth on you Alan …” Me: “So I’ve been told. (pause) So … have you ever been fucked in this office? Have you ever had a man make you cum on his dick right here in this office?” Here is what I have found when conversing with women. Never talk about fucking as if it is “abnormal conversation.” That makes the vibe feel ‘weird’ and ‘awkward’ between you and a woman. 99% of the time, I talk about fucking in a very

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“normal,” natural, matter-of-fact type manner as if I’m talking about sports, politics, health and fitness, or grocery shopping. I never allow myself to ‘freak out’ in response to a woman ‘freaking out.’ If they want to trip off of how candid and straightforward I discuss sex, I let them trip, but I always continue to maintain a very cool, calm, composed demeanor when discussing sex or expressing XXX-rated comments to women. I just remain very relaxed, say what I want to say, and let the conversation unfold from there. If you give any woman even the slightest impression that deep-down you think discussing sexual enjoyment and orgasmic pleasure in a provocative, erotically explicit manner is “wrong,” “socially inappropriate,” “disrespectful,” “crass,” “rude,” or “immoral,” I can almost guarantee you that she is going to have a very adverse reaction to that type of conversation. Returning to my conversation with Charmaine . . . Her: “I don’t know you well enough to have this sort of conversation with you, or to share any of my personal business with you…” Me: “I’m not twisting your arm…” Her: “Why do you want to know about my sex life, and what I’ve done or not done sexually with other men anyway? I just met you! Alan, you are really bold to even ask me a question like that!!” Me: “I’m talking about your sex life because I want to fuck you…” Her (pauses a bit before responding): “Is that right…” Me: “Correction. I am GOING TO fuck you. I guarantee it.”

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Her: “Well aren’t we cocky … (pause) I just have to ask you … is this your normal approach? Do you always ask women questions about their sex life when you first meet them?” I get asked these sorts of questions a lot by women. “Are you always this bold and sexually straightforward with women?” The reason why women ask these types of questions is because they don’t want to feel like you give other women more respect than them. Truthfully, any answer you give them could potentially irritate them, which is why I usually don’t like to answer such questions. If you tell them, “Yes, I talk to ALL women like this,” that makes them think that you are an ultra-horny, skirt-chasing man-whore who has no sense of discretion or selectivity. If you tell them, “No, you are one of only a handful of women who I have talked to in an X-rated manner,” that makes them think you look at most of the other women you approached and conversed with as “respectable good girls” and the women you have talked dirty to as “kinky, promiscuous whore” types. With either answer, you give women ammunition for subjective criticisms against you. So, I usually avoid answering the question. If I do answer, I tell them the truth: I use X-rated language with just about any woman who I am interested in having intercourse with, interested in getting a blowjob from, or interested in having phone sex with. My preference is to always use erotically explicit language when discussing sex. Me: “So …. answer my question … have you been fucked in this office?” Her: “You are really too much Mr. Man. I don’t know to read you. I bet you have a girlfriend somewhere on this campus, don’t you. Does she know how kinky you are with other women?”

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Me: “Yeah, right. We both know better. (pause) You’re good at getting off the subject. Just say ‘yes, I have’ or “no, I have not,’ then I will leave the issue alone. (pause) Okay, let me quit lying. I won’t leave the issue alone….” Charmaine giggles at that last comment, and licks her lips. Her: “Are you spoiled Alan? You seem spoiled to me. Do you expect to have your way with every woman you meet?” Me: “So … how many times have you fucked in public …” Charmaine sighs with lighthearted frustration over my persistence regarding getting her to answer my question. Her: “Okay .. Okay … I will answer your nosy ass question. Yes Alan, I have fucked in public, and yes Alan, I have gotten fucked right here in this office. Happy now?” Me: “Good girl. Good girl. Now was that hard??” Charmaine smiles. We exchange a semi-lengthy stare in each other’s eyes. She licks her lips again. I notice that Charmaine starts moving her legs a lot. Tippy-toeing on each foot. Remember what I said about lip-licking and leg movement when I discussed body language signs to look for? Her: “No, that was not hard … I’m just not used to sharing my personal business about my sex life with a total stranger…” I then cross my two fingers as if to suggest that Charmaine and are real tight, and go way back. Me: “You and I are about to be real close …” Her: “Oh really….” Me: “Yes … really. So .. who was it? An ex-boyfriend? A fuck buddy? A former co-worker?” Her: “Damn you’re nosy! You want all the details huh?”

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Me: “I’m a curious individual….” Her: “I see. (pause) It was my most recent ex-boyfriend. (she points at a bathroom inside the office) He fucked me right in there…” Me: “So I bet he just leaned you up against the sink and fucked you doggie-style…” Her: “Wow. Good guess. That is exactly what he did. How did you know that?” Me: “You can look at how the bathroom is laid out. He couldn’t have fucked you missionary; He could have sat on the toilet and had you ride his dick, but if I were in his shoes, my first choice would be to lean you against that sink, and fuck you doggie-style…” Her: “You’re so nasty….” Me: “Oooooh …. Say it again…” Her: “You are so nasty Alan. You have this sort of ‘innocent’ face, but I can tell already that you are really, really nasty….” Men, believe this when I tell you: Nine out of every ten women walking this earth love a man who is erotically naughty and nasty. Even the ones who try to pretend like they don’t, do. There are at least three types of guys that will always be popular with most women: 1) Men with a high degree of wealth or social status; Why? Because you’re in a position to take care of a woman financially or you probably have ‘connections’ that can hook a woman up with employment and financial-related favors; 2) Men who are funny, empathetic, and good listeners; Why? Because most women want at least one ‘platonic male friend’ who they can hang out with socially, and have that man

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entertain them, and listen to them when they feel like ‘venting’ their frustrations about other men; 3) Men who are erotically naughty with above-average to great sex skills; Why? Even women who are semi-prudish ‘good girls’ want at least one man in their life that allows them to unleash their ‘inner kinky freak’ side. Almost all women want to be some man’s kinky, submissive ‘bad girl’ in bed. If you have attributes from all three categories, women will want to marry you. I have met many men who are a combination of Category #1 and #2 or Category #1 and #3, but you rarely find men who are a combination of Category #2 and #3. If a man is good in bed, he’s not going to spend too much time interacting with women in a strictly platonic manner, and listen to them whine and complain about trivial bullshit (particularly about other men). I boldly stood up and closed her office door. Me: “What time are your co-workers do back in the office?” Her: “It is only me and my boss. She is due back sometime between 12:50pm and 12:55pm …” I looked at my watch, and it was almost 12:25pm. I gave Charmaine a nice, long, seductive stare. She knew what time it was. I gestured for her to get up out of her seat and join me toward the back of the office. She hesitated for a second. She then moved toward me slowly and seductively. Next thing you know, she and I were tongue kissing in an erotic manner. I started lightly pinching her nipples, and then I moved my way down toward that nice juicy ass of hers. I could not stop squeezing her ass. Then, I leaned her against this small table that had an old-fashioned electronic typewriter on it. I started to slowly slide down her white leggings, but she quickly asked me did I have some protection. I did. More often

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than not, I usually carry at least one, if not two condoms with me just about everywhere I go. I put on the condom, and then I bent her over and I started fucking her doggie-style, slapping her ass like crazy. Her ass was not only round, but it was butter soft. Later, I held my left hand on to her left shoulder, and used my right hand to “muffle” her moans, because she was on the verge of being loud. Even though I was enjoying myself, there was a small part of me that me that was paranoid. I kept feeling like someone was going to walk in that office any second. We were definitely taking a risk. I then released my hand from her mouth so I could talk dirty to her. Me: “Who is fucking you…” Her (soft and submissive): “(moan) … Alan is fucking me…” Me: “Oooooh … Say it again …” Her: “Alan is (moan) … fucking me …” Me: “You want me to cum…” Her: “Yes … I want you to cum Alan … I want you to cum …” Me: “Oooooh … Say it again …” She repeated it again, and seconds before I was about to cum, I pulled out of her pussy, took off my condom, and shot my cum all over her nice, soft ass. Guess what? About literally four or five minutes after we finished and cleaned up, her boss returned to the office. We both looked at each other with an expression of “Whew. That was close.”

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Quick lessons to take away from this experience of mine: • Some men think the only place to have sex with women is in the woman’s bedroom or in the man’s bedroom. I have had sex with women in a number of different places, including many public venues. I once received a blowjob in a 24-hour grocery store in Bloomington, Indiana, and also once in one of the stairwells of LAX airport. Once you get a woman sexually aroused, you can potentially have sex with her anytime and anywhere. Think outside the box. • If you are going to engage in casual sex with new and different acquaintances, you should always make it a habit to practice safe sex habits in order to prevent unwanted pregnancies or sexually transmitted diseases. Even when you are really, really horny and being really, really spontaneous, there is no excuse for being sexually irresponsible. Don’t be stupid. • Whenever you engage women in a sexually provocative conversation, never behave apologetic or defensive for being verbally erotic with a woman or using erotically explicit language with her, even if she harshly criticizes you for doing so. As much as possible, talk about sex with women in a very calm, relaxed, confident, unapologetic, upfront, straightforwardly honest, matter-of-fact manner. Never ‘freak out’ on your own X-rated conversation with a woman simply because the woman is caught off guard by your erotic candor.

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Verbal Seduction Story #4 My Mode One Experience with an R&B star: Alan Roger Currie gets rejected, but still concludes the conversation with a smile General Premise: During a visit to a bookstore in Westwood, California, I exhibit Mode One Behavior with a woman who was a popular R & B singer and songwriter in the late 1980s and most of the 1990s Rating on the 1 to 5 Inhibited VS Uninhibited Scale: Woman was a firm, genuine “4” (at least in my perception) Major Justification for Resistance: Was romantically involved with someone during the time of our interaction Many of my close friends know this story all too well. It is very rare when a book author who fancies himself as a “dating coach” would highlight a conversation and interaction with a woman that resulted in him being rejected in the end, but I have to say, of all of the women who failed to reciprocate my sexual desires and interests, this one stands out as probably one of my Top 3 most memorable rejections. I always tell my male supporters: The thing I love most about exhibiting Mode One Behavior as opposed to exhibiting Mode Two Behavior or Mode Three Behavior is that you rarely, if ever feel agitated, frustrated, or bitter when you get rejected. Whenever I have exhibited Mode Two or Mode Three Behavior toward women in the past, and I got rejected, I always ended up feeling very pissed off. Always. I cannot recall even one time when I felt pissed off after being rejected by a woman during an instance where I exhibited Mode One Behavior toward her.

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The year was either 1996 or 1997. I was at one of my favorite bookstores (as I mentioned on page 102, bookstores used to be one of my favorite public venues for meeting women), which was on the Southwest corner of Westwood Boulevard and Pico Street, near the popular Westside Pavilion. I used to frequent this bookstore an average of 2-3 times per week, every week. I love to read. I think too many young people today are addicted to television, DVDs, and mp3 players. Not enough young men and women truly love to read. I love good books, but mostly non-fiction. I rarely read fiction. On this particular day, I was going in different isles browsing through different books, when I see this sistah with some of the tightest jeans on ever. She had on a turtleneck sweater with a jean jacket over it and leather boots. She also had on very dark sunglasses, so I really could not evaluate the body language of her eyes. She had deep chocolate skin. I watched her for a while to see if she was in the store by herself, or with another woman or a possible male companion. Minutes later, I make a move to approach her. I approach her in a very self-assured manner and say, “So … when would you like to share my company … (pause) … next Friday? Next Saturday? The following weekend?” She looks up and smirks at me. I still cannot see her eyes because her sunglasses were really, really dark. Her: “And hello to you too …” I chuckle a bit. I just look at her, hoping she will take off her sunglasses. Her: “That is a very unique, straight-to-the-point approach you have …” Me: “I am Alan … and you are …”

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She seemed a bit hesitant to tell me her name. She paused for a few seconds. Her: “You can call me … Regina …” I got the impression from her response that this was a pseudonym or middle name she was giving me. I would find out a few minutes later why she didn’t reveal her real name. Me: “So Regina … those jeans you are wearing are causing all sorts of naughty thoughts in my head….” Her: “Is that right …” Me: “That’s right. (pause) So … are you and I hooking up next Friday or next Saturday …” Her: “I don’t usually ‘hook up’ with men I don’t know. I don’t know anything about you other than the fact that you told me your first name is Alan. Tell me something interesting about yourself Alan…” Me: “I grew up in Gary, Indiana … same city as The Jackson Five … been out here in L.A. for about two-and-a-half, three years … pursuing a career as a screenwriter and filmmaker … and I sometimes get paid to write erotic fantasies for women…” Her: “Oh really…. Hmmm. You must be good at writing those erotic fantasies if you are getting paid for it. Good for you Alan. (pause) and everyone knows where Gary, Indiana is (she giggles) Even without the Jacksons reference.” Me: “Not true Regina … I’ve had at least a handful of people out here ask me where Gary was…” Her: “So let me ask you … when you invite women to ‘hook up’ with you, what do you usually do? Take them to the movies? Take them out to lunch or dinner? Or do you just invite them over to your place and try to make out with them?”

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Me (smirks): “Usually, along the lines of the latter option. (intentional pause) Take you for example. The #1 thing I want to do with you is lean you against a wall, slowly slide down those tight jeans of yours to your knees or ankles, and fuck you silly doggie-style….” She finally dropped her sunglasses down from her eyes to the bottom of her nose. I had grabbed her attention with my last response. Then, I found myself shocked. Turns out, this woman who went by the name “Regina” was actually not named Regina at all. I KNEW THIS WOMAN. She was a very popular R & B singer and songwriter who had been on a popular syndicated television show in the US entitled Soul Train, as well as MTV and many other shows. She had a number of hit R&B records. She used to be in a group, but now she was solo. I’m not going to use her real name in this story, but I will call her “Vanessa” (no, not Vanessa Williams). We both stared at each other for a bit, looking directly into each other’s eyes. Me (low volume voice): “Hey … you are …” Her (abruptly cutting me off): “Yes … I am she.” Me: “Pleasure to meet you… huge fan of your music …” I’ll confess: Once I recognized who this was, I sort of felt like, “Maybe I should have came at her different,” but the reality is, she is a regular woman just like any other female. No need to treat her “differently” or with any more cautiousness simply because she was an Entertainment Industry celebrity. I do believe if I had recognized her from the beginning, nine times out of ten, I probably would have either avoided approaching her at all, or I would have settled for a conventional Mode Two approach. Sadly, I probably would have allowed her fame and popularity to ‘intimidate’ me a bit. It is funny how a lot of men, including myself occasionally, allow ourselves to be easily ‘intimidated’ by a woman’s looks,

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her sex appeal, her level of education, her level of career success, or her level of fame and popularity. Her: “Wow. I don’t know what to say. I am almost speechless…” Me: “The key word is ‘almost.’ (pause) So … next Friday or next Saturday …” Her: “(giggles a bit) And there you go … right back into your ‘let’s hook up next weekend’ routine. You are too funny Alan.” Me: “Vanessa … a.k.a. Regina … you were supposed to say, ‘Alan .. you are so damn sexy’…” Her: “(giggles) You are really special. I mean, really. (pause) You know what though? I’m gonna tell you something Alan, and I mean this. Your approach is very refreshing..” Me: “Translation: I want to hook up with you next Saturday Alan…” Her: “(giggles) No, seriously Alan. You have no idea how many corny ass pick-up lines I hear on a weekly basis. It is really annoying. Now your approach? If you are looking to connect with a woman seriously and emotionally, you might scare a woman off. You’ll leave her thinking that you are way out there (i.e., extremely kinky and promiscuous). But if your thing is just (casual) sex? For that, I love your approach. I really do. You cut through the B.S. We need more men out here who cut through the B.S. I hate B.S. I like it when a man lets me know exactly where he is coming from, exactly how he rolls, and exactly what he wants from me. Keep it real. And you Alan, you most definitely keep it real. I really respect you for that…” Me: “Wow. I am flattered Vanessa. I appreciate the flattering feedback…” Her: “I meant every word. You keep being you Alan. You are one of the most real bruthas I have ever met. Real talk.”

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Me: “So … does that mean we are not hooking up next Saturday? Her: “(smiles hard) No, sorry Alan … I am involved with someone at the moment. And besides, you might be too much for me. I don’t know if I could handle you. (giggles)” Me: “You could, and you know you could. But I respect love. I respect relationships. So since you are already ‘involved’ with someone, I will simply say it was a pleasure meeting you, keep up the good work with your music, and I hope we run into each other again…” Her: “It was a pleasure meeting you as well Alan. Keep everything on the real. Do you baby even if others don’t like it or criticize you for it. Do you. Take care.” After the conversation was over, I was glad that I had been Mode One with her. I loved Vanessa’s spirit and feedback. Even though we did not end up hooking up sexually, I still was glad she and I had the opportunity to converse, if only briefly. Quick lessons to take away from this experience of mine: • Do not ever allow any of women’s attributes to ‘intimidate’ you (e.g., her beauty, intelligence, sex appeal, level of education, fame, wealth, etc.) Women are women. Some will be interested in sharing your company, some will not. Always make an effort to approach every woman you are attracted to with a boat load of boldness, confidence, and self-assurance, unless you know ahead of time that they are married or romantically involved with someone. • When you approach a woman, and express your romantic or sexual desires, interests and intentions to them in a Mode One style manner, rejection will usually not faze you at all. Never allow the fear of negative reactions or the fear of rejection to prevent you from approaching a woman of interest.

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Verbal Seduction Story #5 The Aural Sex Seduction Method: Alan Roger Currie uses phone sex to create instantaneous sexual chemistry in-person General Premise: In this story, I offer at least one example of how I tend to use hot, kinky phone sex as a precursor to connecting with women face-to-face and developing sexual chemistry in-person Rating on the 1 to 5 Inhibited VS Uninhibited Scale: Woman was a “3” pretending to be a “5” Major Justification for Resistance: Believed that all men should ‘wine & dine’ women and be involved in a long-term monogamous relationship prior to engaging in sex I rarely, if ever, “brag” about my ability to please and satisfy a woman in bed. There have been many times when I thought my performance in bed was “five stars,” only to find out my female partner thought my performance was only three-and-ahalf to four stars. A man’s ego is typically going to lead him to believe that his sexual prowess is much better than it really is. If there is one area though where I would have to push a lot of my modesty to the side, and do a little lighthearted bragging on myself, it would be in the area of getting women sexually aroused and getting women to masturbate over the phone. Someone once told me years ago, “You know you have a talent for something if either a) you are able to take a task or a skill, and make it look ‘easy,’ while other people struggle to perform that same task or execute that same skill, or b) if you do something so well, that others are willing to pay you money to do it.” There have been times in the past where I have actually been financially compensated by women to be a regular or semi-regular phone sex partner. I have even had a

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few of my female friends call me “the phone sex equivalent to a gigolo or a pimp.” I think if you took an informal poll of all of my former sex partners, the vast majority of them would probably rank my “talking dirty” skills as the best they have experienced. Many of my ex-girlfriends and former lovers have said I was the most verbally kinky man they had ever been with in their life. I love to get women aroused by talking dirty to them. Absolutely love it. If you gave me a choice between getting a woman sexually aroused by kissing them, caressing and touching them, giving them a massage, having them watch a porno movie, or talking dirty to them, I would choose talking dirty to them hands down. If I had to offer a rough estimate, I would say between 1993 and 2011, I have had phone sex with over 1,500 women. I can name more than a few months where I had phone sex with as many as 20 new and different women in one month (and again, I am not referring to “1-900#” type phone sex … I’m talking phone sex with REAL women who are not getting paid to do it). I have had women offer comments like, “Alan, you have a natural talent and uncanny knack for getting women’s pussies wet with your voice. With most men, talking dirty is an enjoyable hobby. With you, talking dirty is an art form.” Some men frown on phone sex, while others say it does nothing for them. Same with women. Some women I’ve met love phone sex, some women hate phone sex, and others are somewhat indifferent toward the activity and suggest that they cannot get off from it. I love phone sex. I would not go as far as to say I love it more than intercourse or receiving a good blowjob, but those two activities aside, phone sex is definitely a close third.

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I would argue that I probably have more confidence in my ability to get a woman wet over the phone in my very first conversation with them than I do in my ability to get a woman wet in-person in my very first conversation with them. Why? Because there are too many variables that affect a woman’s sexual arousal in-person, and in particular, during the very first conversation or interaction. In-person, a woman is going to study your height, your weight, the structure and symmetry of your face, the quality of clothes you are wearing, how confident your demeanor is, your level of eye contact, and the manner in which you move and walk. These are just a few of the factors can positively or negative affect your ability to get a woman wet in-person. With phone sex, it is all about the tone and quality of your voice, your use of words, and your overall conversational skills. Not much else. With phone sex, either you “got it” or you don’t. With physical sex, I think there are three women in my life where I was their “first” (i.e., the man who caused them to lose their virginity). With phone sex, there are probably 550-600+ women that would describe me as the very first man to cause them to reach orgasm via self-pleasure over the phone. I have even had phone sex with many women who initially presented themselves as bona fide, confirmed prudes. I have had phone sex with women who initially said they were not even into masturbation. I have had phone sex with women who initially told me that they “absolutely” had to be in a man’s physical presence in order to get sexually aroused. Not only have I enjoyed many ‘one-on-one’ episodes of phone sex, but at least one out of every five or six of my episodes of phone sex have been “phone sex threesomes.” I love listening to two (or more) women play with their pussies for me at the same time.

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Let’s keep it real: What form of sex is more “safe” than phone sex? You cannot get a woman pregnant, and you cannot pass along any sexually transmitted diseases during an episode of phone sex. You are just using the power of your words, your voice, and your imagination, while listening to the voice and words of the person who you are on the phone with. Beginning with probably 1994 or 1995, I would estimate that probably five out of every seven women who I have had physical sex with, I also had phone sex with them at least once prior to our physical intimacy. I would say starting with 2001, my rate probably goes up to six out of every seven. Over the last ten years, kinky phone sex has probably been my #1 form of seducing women into having (physical) sex with me. I meet most of my phone sex partners one of two ways: Either a) I meet women first in-person, then later, I end up having at least one phone sex conversation before we meet again face-to-face, or b) I first make the acquaintance of the women via the internet (e.g., Facebook, MySpace, online matchmaking sites, etc.), have phone sex with them at least two or three times, and then we eventually meet face-to-face and end up engaging in intercourse. What is interesting to me is, over the years, I have had some of my male friends tease me for “jerking off to women’s voices over the phone,” but then when they see how quickly I usually end up in bed with some of those same women once we meet face-to-face, many of these same friends will say, “Alan … you da man! Can you teach me how to talk nasty to women over the phone?!? Seriously bro. You gotta teach me how to do that shit! That technique seems to work for you like a charm!” I don’t think there is necessarily anything that can act as a “100% accurate” predictor of if you and a woman are going to have above-average to great sexual chemistry, but I would argue that hot, kinky, erotic phone sex is the closest thing to it.

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I can honestly say, since my mid-to-late 30s up until now, most of the women who I did not get along with over the phone, I did not get along with in-person. On the flip side, the vast majority of the women who I had great sexual chemistry with over the phone, I usually had great sexual chemistry with those same women in our face-to-face interactions. Actually, over half of the reason why I even wrote this book was more so because of my phone sex experiences with women than my physical sex experiences with them. Most of the men who wanted me to write another book simply wanted me to give them more “dialogue examples” of me approaching women in public venues, and being Mode One with these women in an XXX-rated manner (such as Verbal Seduction Story #2 and #3). On the other hand, a lot of my female friends and acquaintances had become so fascinated with the stories of many of my phone sex experiences, to the point that one of them said, “Alan, you should write a phone sex memoir entitled ‘Say it Again: How Alan Roger Currie became The King of Verbal Seduction’. Every woman I know who recommended that I write this book said, “You have to include ‘Say it Again’ in your title. You say that so much Alan!” As already mentioned, I say “Oooooh … Say it again…” probably more than any one phrase when I’m talking dirty to a woman or having phone sex with them. That phrase is by far my talking dirty “trademark.” Not only do I use that phrase in my private life, but I even use it on my two talk radio podcast programs (The Erotic Conversationalist and Upfront & Straightforward with Alan Roger Currie) It was hard for me to think of one story to highlight out of the many phone sex experiences I have had. Since most of my stories in this book deal with a situation where a woman gave me a lot of resistance before she finally reciprocated my desires and interests, I tried to think of a woman who not only

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resisted me only over the phone, or only in-person, but a woman who resisted me both over the phone AND in-person. I thought of a few women who qualified, but for this story, I am going to go with a woman who I will refer to as “Danielle.” When I first returned from the Midwest from Los Angeles to attend to my parents’ health concerns, I found myself being a bit of a ‘social hermit.’ I just was not motivated to frequent bars, nightclubs, and other social hang outs in the Chicagoland region. I stayed at home many weekends assisting my late mother and running errands for her since she was now older and experiencing all sorts of health-related challenges. This led to me exploring various online matchmaking services via the Internet, such as Match.com™, Love@AOL™ (specifically for America Online subscribers), and BlackPeopleMeet.com®, among other similar websites. Many of these sites are funny to me. All throughout this book, you have heard me describe many women as a “2 pretending to be a 4 or a 5.” Online matchmaking sites are FULL of these types. They use phrases like, “I’ve already had my fun and now I am looking to settle down with a nice, financially secure gentleman who knows how to respect women.” Riiiiiiiiight. Give me a fucking break. I have conversed with so many women who wrote profiles trying to make themselves seem sexually conservative, erotically prudish and wholeheartedly monogamous, only to find out after a few episodes of phone sex that a high percentage of these women have had some really kinky and promiscuous experiences in their past, and many of them still want to experience some hot, kinky, free-spirited sex. Danielle was one woman I met online. She was 36, divorced with a 12-year old daughter. Danielle had an MBA from one of the top Graduate Business School programs in the nation, and she resided in an affluent suburb of Chicago.

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Danielle was very attractive, with a very “old-fashioned,” somewhat conservative and pretentious look about her in the photos that she uploaded to her online profile. She was very light, almost with a biracial look to her. Her hair was long and pretty, but she wore it back in a conservative bun in her photos. Danielle had about eight photos of herself on her profile page, with most of the photos of her in business professional attire or casual business attire. No photos were of her in “at home casual wear.” She listed her likes and dislikes in a man, and she seemed to be very specific in terms of what she was looking for in a romantic companion. One of her comments was, “If you are a player type who is into lies and games, I am not the woman for you.” I have never been into manipulative head games or blatant dishonesty myself, but I surely could not deny the ‘player’ tag. I wrote her a private message through the site, and two or three days later, she wrote me back. My initial message to her: ############################################ “Nice profile, although I cannot decide whether to categorize you as ‘highly selective’ or ‘extremely nitpicky,’ based on what you expressed in your profile as your criteria for a long-term companion. I think we should get together sometime in the very near future so I can find out who you REALLY are under your seemingly very conservative public façade. The woman you are when you decide to let your hair down while at home . . . ARC (219) XXX-XXXX” ############################################

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Danielle’s response a few days later: ############################################ “I beg your pardon? ‘public façade?’ I do not put on façades. I am who I am Mr. ‘ARC’. You might be a bit much for me based on what you wrote about yourself in your profile, although I like a man who is straightforward with his intentions. I see where your preference for relationships is ‘casual.’ I do not do ‘casual.’ Only serious inquiries need apply. : ) Only the men with serious intentions get to see me with my hair down. : ) However, I would not have a problem with some ‘casual’ chit chat with you sometime in the near future. I love to meet and talk to new people and learn something enlightening and interesting about them. Danielle (630) XXX-XXXX” ############################################ I think she wrote me that message on a Wednesday or Thursday, and I ended up calling Danielle that Sunday evening. In our first phone conversation, we spent the first few minutes of the conversation just exchanging pleasantries, and asking each other the basics like, “How long have you been on this site? How many men/women have you met in-person from the site? What have been some of your experiences, both good and bad?” In other words, bullshit small talk. The first time the conversation turned toward sex was probably about 10-15 minutes into the conversation. She asked me about my user name on the site, which was “TheBlackZalmanKing.” Her: “Who is Zalman King?”

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Me: “Zalman King is considered arguably the best screenwriter in Hollywood for films with an erotic storyline. He is the king of soft porn type films.” Her: “I don’t watch porn, but whatever floats your boat.” Me: “I said ‘soft porn.’ He is not in the porno industry. He writes scripts for mainstream films with an erotic storyline.” Her: “Soft porn, hardcore porn … they’re both the same to me. Porn is porn. Porn undermines the moral fabric of this country. The reason why we have so many sexual deviants running around in this country engaging in all sorts of perverted sex acts is because of the porn industry. Have you ever seen a monogamous married couple depicted in porn? No. Porn promotes irresponsible, instantaneous self-gratification.” Me: “Wow. Okay Minister Danielle! Preach!” Her: “I am serious Alan. I am very serious. I am not a fan of anything pornographic at all. I think all porn is disgusting smut. Porn is what creates pedophiles, rapists, and other deviants” Me: “Aren’t we a little judgmental.” Her: “I call it as I see it.” Me: “So … do you have concrete evidence that all men who are pedophiles, rapists and sexual deviants have watched a lot of porn in their life?” Her: “Everyone knows that. Everyone. The evidence is out there.” Me: “I have watched my share of porn in my lifetime, and I have never in my life pressured or forced a woman into having sex with me. And I know many college-educated men and women who have watched porn who have normal, healthy sex lives. So, I think your criticisms are invalid and unsubstantiated, not to mention very narrow-minded and judgmental…”

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Her: “Well, we will have to agree to disagree.” Me: “I would categorize this exchange as ‘I’m right’ and you’re wrong Danielle.” Her: “Whatever. (pause) Next subject.” Me: “So … you’re just a straight-up prude huh?” Her: “Your words, not mine.” Me: “I sense an attitude!” Her: “I don’t have an attitude. Not at all. I was just telling you emphatically that I am not into porn. I think porn is disgusting and misogynistic.” Me: “Do you think sex is disgusting and misogynistic?” Her: “Between two people in love? Of course not Alan. Of course not. I am all for two people who genuinely care about each other making love to each other” Me: “So, in other words, you are only against casual, nonmonogamous sex” Her: “Pretty much … yes.” Me: “So, you have never, ever had sex with a man who was not your exclusive boyfriend?” Her: “I am not getting into my past sex life with you. That is personal.” Me: “I want to get to know you personally.” Her: “I do not share details of my past sex life with men who I am not in a relationship with.” Me: “So, you don’t like to talk about fucking at all…” Her: “Excuse me?!?” Me: “You’re excused.”

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Her: “Did you just say what I think you said?” Me: “I said, so you don’t like talking about fucking, do you?” Her: “Excuse you!! Please don’t use that crass language with me. That is so rude. I know your parents taught you better than that. I know they did. You’re an intelligent, educated man Alan, or so I thought. Please don’t lower yourself to the level of the common man who has no sense of class or tact.” Half of me was getting irritated by the combination of her prudishness and pretentiousness, but the other half of me was getting excited because I knew I had a challenge on my hands. I love a good, juicy challenge. Me: “So … you’re saying that the only men who love to fuck are uneducated men with no class?” Her: “If you use the f-word one more time, I am hanging up on you.” Me: “Well, in that case, I think you should go ahead and hang up that fucking phone of yours Danielle. Since you fucking hate the word fuck so fucking much.” There was a long pause on her end. Deep-down, I knew she wasn’t going to hang up. I knew it. Don’t ask me why, but I knew she wasn’t going to hang up. Here is what you have to remember about many women, and I have already alluded to this in the book: There is a big difference between a “genuine prude” and a “disingenuous or fake prude.” Women who are genuine prudes do not get all self-righteous, adamant and theatrical with you. They just avoid engaging in behavior that goes against their basic principles. “Fake prudes” on the other hand go out of their way to convince you that they are prudes. They get very melodramatic in their attempt to make you firmly believe that they are anything BUT kinky or promiscuous.

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Why offer a “threat” of hanging up? Why not just hang up? I don’t think I have ever in my life said to a woman, “If you say XYZ or ABC one more time, I am going to hang up on you!!!” That is bullshit. If I feel like hanging up on someone, I simply hang up on them. I don’t first offer a ‘threat,’ and then hang up. When women threaten to hang up on you, or threaten to ignore you, that is simply what I refer to as an “egotistical power play.” They are trying to see if they can ‘punk you’ or not. They are trying to see if they can get you to become defensive or apologetic so that they can take control of the conversation, and once you let a woman know for a fact that she is in complete control of the interactions between you and her, that woman is going to lose respect for you. In the long-run, you will never hear from that woman again. I was not going to allow Danielle to intimidate me, or put me on the defensive. I was going to stand my ground, even if it meant her eventually hanging up on me. It was time for me to unzip my pants, and show her just how fucking big my balls were. Me: “So are we going to just sit here … not saying anything?” Her: “I’m waiting . . .” Me: “Waiting for what…” Her: “Waiting for you to apologize for your rude, crass, and unnecessary profane language…” Me: “Then you might as well hang up now. Because otherwise, you are going to be waiting a long ass time. I am not apologizing for jack shit.” Her: “Well, I guess I am about to let you go Mr. Currie … I don’t think we have any sort of love connection here anyway.” Me: “Obviously. Because I’m real … and you’re full of shit.”

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I knew that comment would get her riled up…. Her: “Full of shit?!? Full of shit?!?!? You’re the one that is full of shit!!!” Me: “Oooooooooh. I love it when a woman tells me to apologize for using profanity, and then turns around and uses profanity herself. That is so spicy and erotic . . .” Her: “Fuck you Alan! You wanna hear me use the f-word?? Well you just heard it. Fuck you Alan!!!” Me: “Oooooooh …. Say it again ….” Her: “What is wrong with you men? What happened to men who were gentlemen like my late father? Men who practiced chivalry and exhibited class and respect toward women?? Where are those men? Huh? Where are the GOOD men?!?” Me: “Somewhere getting their dick sucked. Or fucking.” Her (sighs): “What is wrong with you? I know you’re better than this Alan. I know you are. This cannot be the real you. Are you obsessed with sex or something?? When was the last time you got some? It must be a long time since you last had some!” Me: “(mocking her earlier comment) I am not getting into my past sex life with you. That is personal.” Her: “No wonder you don’t have a girlfriend. You’re a sex addict! I’m not on this site to look for a sex partner. I can get some dick anytime I want to.” BINGO. Now we’re talking. You see fellas, if this woman was a “true 5,” she would have never made a comment like that. A genuine prude doesn’t talk like that. Only a woman who is a “2” or “3” who is pretending to be a “4” or a “5” talks like that. I had just provoked Danielle to reveal her real behavior. If I say so myself, I have a talent for doing this. Me: “You can get what anytime you want to …”

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Her: “You heard me. Dick. I don’t need to go on the internet looking to get some dick. Do you know how many men I meet who take me out to the finest restaurants in Chicago, buy me gifts, or take me on trips expecting me to give them some??” Me: “Aren’t you Ms. Modesty” Her: “You said you were about being real. No woman who is attractive and intelligent has to beg for dick. We don’t have to go on the internet looking for casual sex. Casual sex partners come a dime a dozen” Me: “So, in other words, you have your share of dick offered to you on a weekly basis.” Her: “Of course I do…” Me: “Say, ‘I turn down good dick all the time’ …” Her: “I do. I don’t have to say it. I do.” Me: “Convince me. Say it.” Her: “I’ll say it once, and once only. (pause) Alan, I turn down good dick all the time” Me (feigning as if I couldn’t hear her): “I couldn’t hear you … you turn down what?” Her: “You heard me. I turn down good dick all the time…” Me: “Oooooh …. Say it again …” Her: “I will not. (giggles) You are a trip Alan. incorrigible. (giggles)”

You are

Ah ha. I finally got her to lighten up and giggle. At this moment, it was all a piece of cake for me to work my linguistic magic with Danielle. I was now on a mission to get her pussy wet.

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Her: “You know you want to say it again for me Ms. Cocky… You know you want to say, ‘Alan … every single man in Chicago wants to fuck me! Don’t believe me? We can make a few three-way calls right now! I will get them to confess! All of the Chicago Bears and Chicago Bulls players want to fuck me!” Danielle starts laughing at me making fun of her. Her: “Real cute. Real cute Alan. I am not that full of myself.” Me: “Translation: Not both teams silly. Just the Bears’ players for right now. But wait until next year … I’ll have the Cubs and the White Sox wanting to fuck me too….” Her (giggling): “You are silly Alan. You are so crazy…” Me: “Okay … say this. Say, ‘Alan … I know you want to fuck me. I dare you to deny it. You want to fuck me real bad’…” Her: “You just told on yourself. Those were your words, not mine Mr. Currie. But I do know that.” Me: “You know what…” Her: “That you want to fuck me….” Me: “Say it again …” Her: “That you want to fuck me. I knew that when you gave me your number in the email” Me: “You knew what….” Her: “That you wanted to fuck me….” Me: “I don’t want to fuck you … I am GOING to fuck you…” Her: “We’ll see about that (pause) Are you playing with yourself Alan? Your voice sure did drop real low (giggles)” Me: “I’m not … but what if I was? I have no problem stroking my dick listening to you talk about me fucking you….”

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Her: “You are so bad…” Me: “Say, ‘Alan … you’re nasty … really nasty…” Her: “You are nasty…” Me: “Say it …” Her: “I just did … Alan … you are so nasty. Really nasty…” Me: “Does your pussy taste good …” Her: “Of course…” Me: “Of course what…” Her: “Of course my pussy tastes good…” Me: “If you’re a good girl Danielle, I might just lick your pussy …” Her: “Now you’re talking my language….” Me: “Oh really. So you love to have your pussy licked huh…” Her: “What woman doesn’t? That is, if a man knows what he’s doing down there. If a man is good at it, and really knows what he’s doing, then I love having my pussy licked…” Me: “You love what….” Her: “Having my pussy licked….” Me: “Oooooh … say it again …” Her: “I love to have my pussy licked Alan…” Me: “Call me Mr. Currie” Her: “I love having my pussy licked Mr. Currie…” Me: “Say, ‘Mr. Currie, I would love to have your tongue on my pussy’….”

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Her: “Mr. Currie, I would love to have you lick my pussy with your tongue…” Me: “Now say, ‘Mr. Currie, I’m sorry for getting mad at you earlier … I love to get fucked…” Her: “I’m sorry Mr. Currie for getting an attitude with you earlier … I love to have my pussy licked … and I love to be fucked…” Me: “Say it again….” Her: “I love to be fucked …” Me: “Do you love your pussy…” Her: “Yes….” Me: “Say ‘Yes Sir’…” Her: “Yes sir …” Me: “Say, ‘Yes sir … I love my pussy’ …” Her: “I love my pussy sir … ” Me: “You want me to love it….” Her: “Yes sir …” Me: “Then say it….” Her: “I want you to love my pussy sir …” Me: “Say, ‘Sir, can I play with my pussy for you’…” Her: “Sir … can I please play with my pussy for you….” Me: “Oooooh …. Say it again …” Her: “Sir … can I please play with my pussy for you…” We continued the conversation until she pleasured herself to the point of orgasm, and so did I. Actually, I made her cum twice in that first conversation. We ended up having phone sex

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about four or five more times before we met up for the first time in-person. Danielle was very attractive and classy in-person. Now, you might be thinking that the manner in which I broke Danielle down was a “once every Blue Moon” occurrence, but I break “fake prudes” down all the time. If you’re thin-skinned or highly defensive, you will never break a woman like Danielle down. Never. You have to know who you are, and display your sense of backbone. Over half of success with women comes down to big balls and unbreakable backbone. Balls and backbone. Now of course, Danielle told me things like, “I hope you don’t think that because you get me wet on the phone I’m gonna be some ‘easy lay’ in person … I’m not a ho…” We actually did not have intercourse the first time we met inperson, although we did some heavy-duty kissing and making out. It wasn’t until our second face-to-face interaction that we ended up having sex. I doubt seriously if Danielle and I would have ended up making out during our first date and fucking during our second date if I had not laid the groundwork with hot, kinky phone sex. The phone sex is what set the tone for our face-to-face sexual chemistry. Danielle told me that I was the first man she ever had sex with who had not taken her to a fancy restaurant, or generally had not ‘wined and dined’ her prior to sex. I rarely take women on expensive dates before I have sex with them. Not my style. I have met a lot of “Danielle types” in my life. They put up a prudish façade because they either think that will improve their chances of finding a husband, or at minimum, they do not want a man to “hit it and quit it” and leave them emotionally devastated in the long-run.

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This is why I told Danielle from the beginning that I wasn’t really looking for anything long-term or monogamous, and she respected my upfront, straightforward honesty about that. When we stopped seeing each other sexually, there was no animosity or ill feelings between us at all, which is how it should be with all interactions between men and women. Even after we stopped having sex, we remained in contact. About 18-24 months after we stopped seeing each other, she met some guy and got engaged. Good for her. Quick lessons to take away from this experience of mine: • Very few women 35 years of age or older join online matchmaking sites looking for one-night stands or weekend flings. Most of these women are either looking for their future husband, a new boyfriend, or at minimum, a long-term “fuck buddy.” Knowing that, do not ‘pretend’ to want a long-term monogamous relationship with these women when you know you just want two or three days of casual sex. Be upfront and honest with them if you are just looking to get laid. • Don’t ever allow a woman to ‘bully’ you or threaten you into modifying your behavior for the sole and specific purpose of pleasing her and accommodating her. Once you play a woman’s game, and allow them to completely take control of their interactions with you, in the long-run, those women are going to lose respect for you, and more than likely, you will never hear from those women again. Be your own man. In the long-run, success with women is all about showing women how big your balls are and how unbreakable your backbone is. • Watching adult films is okay when you do it occasionally, but you never want to allow yourself to become obsessed or addicted to porn to the point where it can ruin your natural sense of eroticism and sexual chemistry with a woman, and create erectile dysfunction problems when having intercourse while in a relationship. Be wise in your viewing habits with porn.

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Verbal Seduction Story #6 The best wingman a friend can have: Alan Roger Currie uses Mode One Behavior in order to score a threesome for a friend General Premise: Not only have I used the power of Mode One Behavior and verbal eroticism to seduce women into having sex with me, but on occasion, I have often used the power of erotically explicit words and conversation to persuade women to have sex with friends of mine Rating on the 1 to 5 Inhibited VS Uninhibited Scale: One woman was a genuine “1” while the other was a “2” pretending to be a “3” Major Justification for Resistance: The woman who was a “1” did not have any justifications for resistance; The woman who was a “2” pretending to be a “3” behaved as though she did not believe in the idea of group sex or sex with strangers Are you familiar with the term “wingman” (or “wingwoman,” since I have had both in my life). In case you are totally ignorant to what that term means, a ‘wingman’ is a friend that does everything in his power to make sure that a buddy of his either a) meets some desirable women while out socializing; b) has an enjoyable, successful double date with a woman and one of her close girlfriends; or c) gets laid after going to a bar, nightclub, or other desirable social event. The basic idea of a really good wingman would be a guy who acts as sort of your romantic or sexual “public relations” person, a “talent scout,” and a ‘gatekeeper’ who prevents potential “drama” from ensuing. Entertainment Industry celebrities primarily use “P.R.” people to ‘toot their horn’ for them. If all celebrities went around

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tooting their own horns, they would all look egotistical and selfcentered (which, realistically, is what most celebrities are). In a way, the same concept exists in the world of dating and relationships, and particularly in regard to getting women to have sex with you. Sometimes you need a “hype” man. Let’s say, I had a friend named ‘Tony,’ and Tony wants to approach a woman in a nightclub, and tell this woman that he is a prolific womanizer who gets laid with a number of hot women who he meets at the nightclub. Some women might get curious about his sex skills, but many other women would probably get immediately turned off by his seemingly egotistical, braggadocios style, and end up rejecting him. Now let’s say instead of Tony bragging on himself, I approach some women that my friend Tony has handpicked, and I am the one who approaches these women and says things like, “I sure would love for you to meet my friend Anthony. He’s a charming and intelligent guy. Now I have to warn you though … he is pretty popular with the ladies. I’ve seen him pull some really hot women from this very club, and I’m talking, those women were all over him. The guy is just a natural ladies’ man. But you didn’t hear that from me….” That sort of comment can go in one of two directions: Some women, as I already alluded to, could potentially end up turned off by the fact that he is an incorrigible ladies’ man and womanizer. On the other hand, some women might become very “curious” and “intrigued” about his popularity with other women. Why the latter? If you don’t know already, I’m going to let you in on a little secret: Popularity with women attracts attention from even more women. Put in more blunt terms, pussy attracts pussy. Just like most people believe that when you are already wealthy, you tend to attract even more opportunities to add to

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your wealth, the same general concept works in relation to attracting sexual companionship from women. When women see or hear about your popularity with other women, it generally tends to make them curious about WHY you are so popular with other women. Most women tend to usually assume one of three things: That either 1) you are very funny, witty, and charming, and you have a natural knack for keeping women entertained; 2) you are wealthy, and you love spending money on women in a very generous manner; or 3) you are very, very good in bed and leave the women you fuck feeling very pleased and satisfied. My own late mother even acknowledged the above three assumptions, including #3, although she expressed it in more formal terms. She once said, “No woman wants a man who she feels very few other women want to spend time with. Women are usually most attracted to men who they feel are highly desired by other women.” Some dating coaches, pick up artist types, and seduction gurus refer to this concept as a man having “high social market value” or “social proof.” I can honestly say that for most of my adult life, the #1 time that I tended to have women offer me pussy on a “silver platter” were during those times when women knew that my attention and companionship was in high demand from other women. This is one of the reasons why it is so hard for many men to resist cheating. I do not condone cheating or encourage it, but I will say this: There are some women in society that will completely ignore you until they see you with a very beautiful, sexy girlfriend, fiancée, or wife. Then, all of the sudden, these women who previously ignored you want to spend time with you. Some women are funny that way. Most men with really gorgeous wives and girlfriends will confirm this. They know I’m telling the truth. Many women will just throw pussy at you when they know that you are being

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sexually satisfied by either one very beautiful woman who is your steady companion, or by a number of attractive, sexy women who are your casual “fuck buddies.” Going back to the wingman concept, what a good wingman or wingwoman does is converse with prospects of yours before you do in order to identify the women who may potentially be interested in you, but he/she also ‘weeds out’ those prospects who have absolutely no interest in you, and would end up rejecting you or wasting your time. Whenever I have acted as a wingman for a close friend, this is exactly what I do. I converse with my friend’s “women of interest” or “prospects,” and I try to gauge how much interest they would have in either dating my friend, or having (casual) sex with my friend. If they seem to be not interested at all, the conversation is usually very short. I have had many male friends over the years compliment my ability to help them seduce women and sleep with women. I would estimate that there have been at least eight or nine male friends who I have been a wingman for. Being a wingman is like the seduction equivalent to being a good “assist” man on the basketball court. Like former NBA legend Magic Johnson or current NBA star Chris Paul. You set your friends up to score. I had a few friends just flat out call me a “pimp.” They would say things like, “Alan … you get me more pussy than I get myself. I don’t know what you say to some of these women, but you have had women ready to fuck me before they have even had talked to me at length in-person or over the phone.” I have a buddy in Chicago who I went to high school with named Carleton. When we were in our 20s, Carleton and I would always play off of each other as wingmen. Instead of him trying to always get some pussy for himself, and me trying to always get some pussy for myself, at least half of the time that

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we went out to parties and nightclubs, we would make it a point to try to score sexual companionship for each other. When I lived in Los Angeles, I had two female friends that would sometimes act as a ‘wingwoman’ for me. I would go to parties and nightclubs with them, and they would sing my praises to other women about my level of kinkiness or my sexual prowess. Next thing you know, many of these women would want to be introduced to me. I’m going to quickly give you two examples; One example of what a wingwoman might do for me, and another example of what I would do for a male friend as his wingman. “Darlene” acting as a wingwoman for me: Darlene: “See that guy over there …” Woman: “Yeah …” Darlene: “That is my good friend Alan Roger Currie … “ Woman: “Alan huh? Your boyfriend or just a good friend?” Darlene: “Just a good friend. I would introduce you to him, but I know he’s just going to play the ‘role’ with you….” Woman: “What do you mean by that?” Darlene: “He’s going to try to act like a ‘nice guy’ and a well-mannered gentleman with you. He’s not going to be the ‘real’ Alan with you…” Woman: “What do you mean, the ‘real’ Alan?” Darlene: “The real Alan is kinky as hell. I mean, a total freak. Women call him the ‘one who makes you squirt’…” Woman (blushing): “Really? Wow. I have never had a man make me squirt during sex before…” Darlene: “Never? Ever? Well shit …. Maybe I should introduce you to Alan. But like I said, he’s going to be phony toward you until he gets to know you and trusts you. Women are always blowin’ up that man’s phone looking to squirt….” You see what just happened?

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Now, I am in a situation where I can talk to the woman who Darlene just finished talking to, and I’ll be able to converse with her with ease, and even if I talk about basic, boring bullshit, somewhere in the back of that woman’s mind, she’s going to be thinking about me fucking her, and fucking her so good and making her cum so hard to the point where she is going to be ready to ‘squirt’ pussy juice all over my dick. The “catch” is, if I sleep with this woman, and I fail to make her squirt or cum real hard, I lose all credibility. So I would have to deliver on the “hype” that Darlene set up for me in this woman’s mind. (Note: There are actually a group of women in the US who started a company that centers on this concept; Men pay them $$$ to act as companions and wingwomen at parties, nightclubs, and various social events). Alan Roger Currie (me) acting as a wingman for a friend: Me: “You doing okay tonight?” Woman: “I’m good. You?” Me: “Just helping a friend of mine celebrate his new job promotion“ Woman: “Oh, great. Good for him.” Me: “Matter of fact … see that guy in the navy blue business suit and red tie?” (pointing at my friend) Woman: “Oh, sure. I see him.” Me: “That’s my friend Double J. Really cool guy.” Woman: “Have you two been friends for long?” Me: “Oh, for sure. He’s like a brother to me. That’s my main man. He always looks out for me. (pause) Like I remember one time, I was dejected because my ex-girlfriend and I broke up, and not only did he make sure I was okay and in good spirits, but one night, he had one of his obedient lady friends come over and ‘take care’ of a brutha, if you feel my meaning…” Woman (blushing): “Obedient lady friend? You mean, he told her to have sex with you?? Wow. That’s a trip. What a good friend. What’s his name again?”

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Me: “Yep. He and I love obedient women. (pause) You know what … I should have never told you that story. Now, you’re gonna think he’s some sort of pimp. He’s really a conservative guy, but he just has a knack for getting women to drop their panties for him whenever he wants them to…” Woman (giggles): “Oh REALLY? What is his secret? How does he get so many women to just drop their panties for him?” Me: “I can’t tell you all of Double J’s secrets, now can I? What kind of friend would that make me? You already know too much. If I introduce you to him right now, he will pretend like he’s as prudish as a Sunday School teacher. But beneath that innocent exterior, Double J is a raw animal. He would take you in the bathroom right now, slide that dress up that you have on, and fuck you silly …” Woman (blushing like crazy): “Oh my God!! I don’t’ believe you just said that. So your friend is that freaky huh? Interesting…. Very interesting…” In that situation, my friend would have to say something really stupid to fuck up that perfect set-up. All I have to do is introduce my friend to this woman, and in the back of her mind, all she’s going to be thinking about is my buddy sliding up her dress and fucking her nice, slow and easy in the bathroom. See how the art of being a wingman or wingwoman works? Now some men and women reading this portion might say, “Doesn’t being a wingman or a wingwoman involve some degree of deception and misleading, manipulative behavior? I thought Mode One is about upfront, straightforward honesty? How do you reconcile the two Alan?” When you are being a good wingman, it’s not like you’re “lying” to a woman, or giving her the misleading impression that your friend is someone that he’s not. For example, if I approached a woman, and told her that my friend had a 13” inch cock and he was a multi-millionaire, when in reality, he

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was broke, unemployed with a five-inch dick, that would be lying. I would never do that. Or, if I gave a woman the impression that a friend of mine wanted a long-term, monogamous relationship when I knew he just wanted casual sex, that would be misleading and manipulative. I would never do that. Being a wingman simply involves you singing the praises of your friend, and highlighting various aspects of their romantic behavior or sexual prowess. The only aspect of being a wingman or wingwoman that is a little bit “deceptive” or “misleading” is that you are ‘pretending’ that your friend “doesn’t know” you are saying flattering things about him behind his back to women, when in reality, he usually does know. Again, I do not tell women blatant lies about my friends. Probably the best story I can remember of being a great wingman was in Manhattan Beach, California in the late 1990s. I had a buddy named Bruce, and it was his birthday weekend. Bruce was a ladies’ man type. Bruce, who was biracial, dated women of any and all races. Black, White, Asian, Hispanic. It was a Saturday evening, and I arrive at Bruce’s place, but he seems sort of ticked off. I ask him what is wrong, and he says that he had a potential ménage-a-trois set up with one woman he had already fucked and a close girlfriend of hers, who he had never fucked. The second woman ended up getting nervous jitters, so she flaked out on him, and then later, so did the woman Bruce had already been intimate with. So, Bruce was like, “Let’s go out and have some fun and hopefully, we’ll get laid…” We went out to a local bar/nightclub in the South Bay region of Los Angeles. It was a good, diverse crowd when we arrived. There were almost twice as many women in the club as there were men. I told Bruce to drink it up, because I would be driving (I’m not the biggest drinker in the world, but I do love me a good Long Island Iced Tea)

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Instead of allowing Bruce to sulk about his lost opportunity for a ménage-a-trois, I let Bruce know that I was going to come through for him as a wingman. Bruce says, “Naw man … you just concentrate on having a good time. I’ll get on one of these fine ass honeys up in here…,” but I wanted to help my man out. Sure enough, I started evaluating the “talent” in the club, looking for ‘targets’ (prospects / women of interest). After about thirty minutes or so, I had identified at least ten potential targets. Any woman I saw in groups of four or more, I ignored. I rarely approach a woman in a nightclub, bar, or similar social venue when she is with three or more people. I usually only approach women who are either a) by themselves, or b) with one, no more than two girlfriends who are accompanying them. These are the women who I find that tend to be the most receptive when you approach them. I approached about two or three women who quickly blew me off. No biggie. Rejection has never fazed me. My first connection was with the fourth woman I approached. She was a very attractive Caucasian Blonde. A bit more Bruce’s type than mine, but make no mistake – I would’ve fucked her silly. Amber was her name, and we started a conversation near the bar. At first, she looked to be there alone, but later she said she was there with her roommate. We talked for three or four minutes just about the club itself, and how packed it was. Amber told me that she and her roommate, Tiffany, lived in Playa Del Rey, California. She had rhythm, because she kept dancing to hip hop songs near the bar. Amber’s voice did not match her face. She looked like she would have this very ‘bimbo’ like perky voice, but her voice was deep and resonate. She was very articulate. We enjoyed a good four minutes of conversation before I went into full throttle “wingman mode.” Her: “You here alone Alan?”

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Me: “Nope. I am here with a buddy of mine. (points on the dance floor to Bruce) Right there. In the white shirt and jeans” Her (looking at Bruce): “Oh, okay. I feel like I’ve seen him in here before” Me: “He’s a frequent patron of this club. This is only my second or third time here. He loves this place. And this is his birthday weekend.” Her: “Oh really? Well tell him I said Happy Birthday!” Me: “You should tell him yourself. I’ll bring him over here after he finishes dancing. Although, he might be still a wee bit depressed…” Her: “Why would he be depressed?” Me: “I could tell you … but then I’d have to kill you … (smirking)” Her: “Is it top secret?!? Now you have me curious!!” Me: “No, it’s really no big deal … Okay Amber, I’m going to trust you … okay?” Her: “I won’t tell.” Me: “Bruce was supposed to have a kinky threesome with these two hot women, but at the last minute, they flaked out on him…” Her: “Reeeally. Wow. Now that is very interesting. Why did the women flake out on him?” Me: “I have no idea. But right now, he could’ve been at his place having two women taking turns sucking his dick” Amber playfully takes my left hand, and lightly slaps the back of it to let me know I was using ‘naughty language.’ Her: “You are a bad boy Alan. Bad boy. (slaps my hand)”

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Me: “Like you don’t suck dick….” Her (giggles): “I never said that I did or did not …” Me: “I can tell you love to suck dick…” Once again, she takes my hand and slaps it playfully. Her: “You are so bad Alan!! Bad boy!” Me: “When my buddy Bruce comes over here, give him a hug and let him know that you are here for him…” Her: “That I am ‘here for him’??” Me: “He’s going to try to play it off, but he really is dejected about those women flaking out on him. So let him know that you are here for him to make sure he has an enjoyable evening. Cool? My friend needs a birthday blowjob from an attractive woman like you …” Her: “You and this blowjob obsession! How do you know that your friend wouldn’t prefer to bury his head in between my legs and eat me out?” Now, it was my turn to take Amber’s hand and slap it. Me: “Oooooh. You’re nasty. (pause) I love nasty women…” Her (giggles): “Of course you do…” At this moment, Bruce comes back near the bar. I introduce him to Amber. Me: “I was just telling Amber that you love to come here…” Bruce (to Amber): “Pleasure to meet you Amber … Are you a regular here at the club?” Her (to Bruce): “Kinda, sorta. before?”

Haven’t we met in here

Bruce: “I don’t recall, but maybe…”

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Her: “Well, your friend Alan here told me about the two women who let you down tonight….Sorry to hear about that …” Bruce feigns as if he is surprised. Bruce gives me a playful glare. Amber giggles and I can tell she’s checking Bruce out. Bruce “You have a big mouth Al …” Me (to Amber): “You have a big mouth Amber….” Her: “I love to kiss and tell …” Me (to Bruce): “Speaking of big mouths, Amber and I were just talking about blowjobs … she loves to suck dick…” Amber gets playfully riled up. Her: “I didn’t say that!! You are putting words in my mouth!” Me: “No, Bruce and I want to put our dick in your mouth … not words…” Amber goes to do her hand-slapping routine again, but I pull my hand away. Her: “You are so bad Alan!!” Me: “Okay, if you don’t like to suck dick … look Bruce dead in his eyes, and say, ‘Bruce … even if you paid me $100.00 right now, I would not suck your dick’…” Amber gives me this “You are so bad!” look. She hesitates, but then she says it. Her: “Bruce … if you paid me $100.00 … I would suck your dick so damn good, you would never want another woman’s lips and mouth wrapped around your dick ever again…” Bruce and I look at each other like “Whoa! Well, we know she’s a big ass freak!” Her: “(giggles) I’m just playing!”

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Me: “No you’re not. You know good and well you would suck Bruce’s dick even without $100.00 … you would suck it for free…” Her (giggles): “I would need at least $50 …” I stand behind Amber, and whisper in her left ear. Me (whispering in Amber’s ear): “Now be really, really naughty for Alan and whisper in Bruce’s ear … tell him that you really do want to suck his dick as a birthday present to him…” Amber does not even hesitate. She moves closer to Bruce, and whispers in Bruce’s ear. Bruce gives me a “thumbs up” as if to say, “Good job bro.” Those two begin talking, and soon, they are on the dance floor grinding on each other. Minutes later, Amber’s roommate Tiffany comes near me with some guy. Tiffany: “Wasn’t my roommate Amber talking to you a minute ago?” Me: “She’s on the dance floor with my buddy Bruce” To my surprise, Tiffany reaches in her purse and gives me $25.00 I look at her like, “what is this for?” Tiffany: “Can you tell Amber that I am about to leave? Please give her this for cab fare. I am leaving right now….” From the looks of it, Tiffany’s roommate found her a guy she wanted to sleep with, and she was actually leaving the club to fuck this guy. I was like, “can’t you go out to the dance floor and tell Amber yourself?” Tiffany’s response was, “But then Amber will try to talk me out of leaving….” I said, “Oh, so you don’t want her cock-blocking…” Tiffany laughed. I took the $25.00 and told Tiffany that I would give it to Amber. Then Tiffany and her newfound sex partner left the club.

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Fast forward to about 15 minutes later, two sistahs come near the bar. There weren’t that many Black women in the club that night … maybe six or seven total. I gave the two sistahs eye contact to see how receptive they were. They both smiled. Soon, I struck up a conversation. One was named Debra, and the other, Tracey. I asked them were they “regulars” of this club, or was this their first or second time. Tracey said it was her first time, but Debra said she had been in the club about six or seven times before. Similar to Amber, they asked me was I there alone. I told them I was there with Bruce, and then I pointed at Bruce dancing with Amber on the dance floor. Debra immediately started raving about Bruce. She was like, “He is fine… he looks like Jeffrey Sams!” I was like, “Who is Jeffrey Sams?” She said he was some actor who was in the movie, Soul Food. I couldn’t decide which one I was going to hit on, but since Debra seemed to be more smitten with my buddy Bruce, I immediately turned my attention to Tracey. Tracey was the more conservative looking of the two. She really did not look like the type to frequent nightclubs. Tracey seemed like the quiet, shy type. Conversely, Debra had more of a “party girl” flair about her. Both of them were attractive. Once I started conversing with Tracey, Debra kept interrupting me with questions about Bruce. “Is he single? Is he married? Is that his girlfriend he’s dancing with? Does he only date white women?” Etc., etc., etc. Debra was behaving as if she was ready to go out on the dance floor, and jump on Bruce immediately. She was really hot for Bruce. The problem was, I had already created chemistry between Bruce and Amber. Finally, I was like, “Why don’t you go over there and make a sandwich out of him. I will give you $5 if you start dancing behind him and reach around and grab his dick…”

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Her: “You got the wrong woman. I love to flirt, but I would never go that far! You have to be my man for me to grab your stuff…” Me: “Okay. Well, at least, go and dance with my buddy. It’s his birthday weekend. Help him have a great time tonight…” Moments later, Debra goes out on the dance floor, and does actually start dancing behind Bruce, while Bruce is dancing with Amber. I could see Amber give Debra a look like, “Who in the hell are you??” but she didn’t say anything to Debra. Bruce looked at me from the dance floor as if to say, “is this another prospect?” I just smirked and nodded my head. I returned to engaging Tracey in conversation, but a few minutes later, Bruce, Amber, and Debra came back to the bar area after the last song ended. It was really funny. Neither woman wanted to give up her position. Amber stood on Bruce’s right side, while Debra stood on Bruce’s left side. I broke the ice. Me: “Amber … this is Debra. Debra, this is Amber.” They both gave each other a very phony “glad to meet you.” They were anything but glad to meet each other. I gave Amber the $25 that Tiffany gave me, but Amber was pissed that Tiffany left her there with no ride. Soon, she starting hinting to us that she wanted Bruce and I to give her a ride home. Amber starts whispering something in Bruce’s ear, and he is smirking. I later found out that she essentially told Bruce that if he took her home, she was going to give him some pussy. Debra would not give up though. She literally just pulled Bruce back on the dance floor and started dancing with him, leaving me with Tracey and Amber. I could see Amber was irritated, but she wasn’t going to say anything in front of Tracey. I excused myself from Tracey so I could speak with Amber.

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Me: “Why do you look irritated…” Her: “Are these the two women that Bruce was supposed to have a threesome with tonight?” Me (chuckles): “Oh, no … no, no, no. I just met these two women tonight in this club. The one dancing with Bruce right now let me know that she is really, really attracted to him…” Her: “Well, I thought it was rude of her to just come out on the floor with us while Bruce and I were dancing. Very rude…” I realized now that I had to initiate some “damage control.” I thought I had Amber as a secure prospect for my man Bruce, but now she was obviously agitated. I was the one who encouraged Debra to go and join them dancing, so it was really my fault that Amber was now uncomfortable with the vibe. Me: “When Bruce comes back, I’ll have a talk with the young lady…” Her: “Okay.” I go back to conversing with Tracey (I was being very Xrated with Tracey, and she just kept saying, “You are nasty! You are so nasty!! How did you become so nasty Alan??”). About two or three songs later, Bruce and Debra came back to the bar area. You could now sense that Bruce and Debra had established some good personality chemistry between them. I gestured for Bruce to talk to me one-on-one. We walked away from the young ladies. Bruce: “Bro, I am split. I know for a fact that I can fuck Amber tonight. She’s all over me. I know I can fuck her. This other honey though? Debra? She’s not game for fucking tonight, but she wants us to go out sometime in the next week or two…” Me: “Then the decision is made. Go after Amber.”

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Bruce: “Well, yes … and no. I don’t want to blow off Debra, because she already has the impression that I prefer white women over black women. You know damn well Al … I just love women. I could give a fuck about race” Me: “Give Debra your number, and tell her you will call her next week. Then, concentrate on Amber.” Bruce (hesitant): “Okay. We’ll see.” Bruce and I walk back toward the bar, and you could tell it was uncomfortable between Amber and Debra. Debra and Tracey were talking, and Amber was just sort of standing there by herself. I actually felt bad for Amber, given that her roommate just left her stranded there with no transportation. Just before Bruce was about to start conversing with Amber again, I gave him a gesture that said “hold up a minute.” I then told both Amber and Debra that I wanted to talk to them. They reluctantly agreed, although I could tell neither woman wanted to talk to me with the other woman around. Me (to both women): “I don’t know how to be anything but candid, real, and straight-to-the-point, so here is the deal. (looking at Amber) You want Bruce to fuck you …. don’t you…” Because Debra was in the conversation, Amber hesitated. I was relentless though. Me: “Am I lying or what? Am I talking to myself or what? Either you want Bruce to fuck you … or you don’t.” Amber: “Where is this (conversation) going?” Me: “Just let me do what I do best: Handle shit.” Debra: “Why do I need to know about her desire to have sex with Bruce? I don’t give a fuck about her desires.” Me (to Debra): “Why are you still hanging around at the bar? I know why. Because you want Bruce to fuck you too…”

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Debra: “I don’t just fuck men the first day I meet them like SOME women (hinting at Amber). I am a lady .. not a ho.” Amber: “This conversation has just gotten real stupid. I don’t see the point of it…” Me (to Debra): “Amber wants to fuck Bruce tonight, and Bruce wants to fuck Amber tonight. That is a fact. (pauses to look at Amber; I waited a second to see if she was going to challenge or dispute what I said; she just pretends like she is looking away and distracted) So what is your story Debra? Do you want Bruce to fuck you tonight or not?” Debra: “Excuse me?!?” Me: “You’re excused. (Debra and I exchange long stares)” Debra: “Who I fuck and when I fuck them is none of your damn business Alan. That is none of your damn business.” Me: “I would beg to differ. You see, Bruce is a friend of mine. A very close friend. This is Bruce’s birthday weekend, and the only reason Bruce is even in this club is because a threesome he was supposed to have didn’t happen. Right now, Bruce should be getting his dick sucked by not only one woman, but TWO women….” Both Amber and Debra display a variety of facial expressions, but they don’t say anything. Me: “So here is the deal. Debra, why don’t you exchange phone numbers with Bruce, but then, let him have fun with Amber for tonight. You can get some dick from Bruce next week, or the week after….” Debra: “Excuse me?!?!?” Me: “Once again …. You’re excused.” (we exchange stares/glares into each other’s eyes once again)

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Debra: “I didn’t come out tonight ‘looking for sex.’ She (pointing at Amber) may have, but that is not how I roll.” Me: “Then why are you here right now? Tell me. Why did you and Tracey come to this particular club. To get some drinks? You could go to the liquor store for that. To get some attention on your looks and clothing? You could go to the beach tomorrow afternoon and do that. Have good conversation? You could do that with anyone, anytime. So … why are you here … at this nightclub … right now, tonight?” Debra: “Me and Tracey just like having fun, and this is a nice little spot. I like it here. They always play good dance music, and Tracey and I love to dance…” Me: “Then take Tracey on the dance floor and dance. (pause) Again, it’s like this: I want Bruce to have a good time tonight. Amber has already guaranteed Bruce that he is going to have a good time with her if he goes back to her place, or she comes over his place. (pause) I don’t want any unnecessary ‘drama’ to ruin my buddy’s night. So either you admit to me that you want him to fuck you tonight too, or exchange numbers and leave it alone for tonight…” Debra (agitated): “Who put you in charge?” I don’t even respond to Debra’s question. Amber and Debra both look at me like they don’t know what to say next. Bruce is looking at me from afar with an expression of “What is going on over there?” I look back at Bruce like “one moment. I got this. Let me handle this.” I lean into Amber, and I whisper in her ear. Me (whispering): “You want Bruce to fuck you … don’t you …” Amber (soft whisper): “Yes….” Me: “Say it…”

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Amber leans into me, and whispers in my ear Her: “I want your friend Bruce to fuck me…” Me: “Oooooh … say it again ….” Her: “I want your friend Bruce to fuck me….” Now, I turn my attention to Debra. I lean into her in order to whisper in her ear. She is not nearly as receptive as Amber. Debra actually takes a step back and moves away from me initially, but minutes later she relaxes, and remains still. Me (whispering to Debra): “Listen … I am not trying to piss you off Debra. I like you. I really like your friend Tracey, and I want to hook up with her in the near future. I think you are both quality sistahs. But if it was Tracey’s birthday, wouldn’t you look out for her? Wouldn’t you want her to have a great time on her birthday weekend?” Debra nods her head, as if to say, “yes, I would.” Me (still whispering to Debra): “I’m just trying to make sure Bruce ends tonight with a smile on his face … can you fault me for that Debra?” Debra: “No….” Me (whispering): “You understand where I’m coming from Debra…” Debra: “Yes…” Me (whispering): “Now, if you want to give Bruce some pussy tonight … I am all for you sticking around, and making your presence felt. But if you don’t want to fuck him until a few days or a few weeks from now, go ahead and let Amber have this night…. (pause) Cool? Is that cool with you Debra?” Debra hesitates. She does not respond immediately.

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Me (whispering): “The truth is, you want Bruce to fuck you tonight too, don’t you….” Debra: “I don’t feel comfortable telling you that…” Me (whispering): “Then why am I in your space? Why are you allowing me to stand this close to you, and talk to you in your ear? Trust me … you’re comfortable with me talking to you. No doubt. I keep it real. Just keep it real with me Debra…” Debra: “I am not a ho…. don’t treat me like I’m a ho…” Me (whispering): “Did I say you were a ho? Have I ever called you a ho or a slut tonight? Be real …” Debra: “No, but you know how you men are….” Me (whispering): “You’re generalizing Debra. Don’t group me in with other men. A whore is a woman who trades sexual companionship for money and financial favors. Is that what you do with men?” Debra: “Hell no. I have sex with men because I am attracted to them, and because I want to. Money is not an issue. I make enough of my own money. I can take care of myself financially without any assistance from a man…” Me (whispering): “Okay, great. Sounds like you’re clockin’ some dollars. That’s cool. Now, say for me, ‘I enjoy being fucked’…” Debra (amused): “I am not saying that…. (lightens up a bit) you are a trip Alan. You don’t mince words at all, do you…” Me (whispering): “Should I? I don’t believe in mincing words. Upfront and straightforward is how I express myself. (pause) Now c’mon Debra, say it. Say, ‘I love to be fucked’…” Debra: “I’ll say this: I love sex. I will say that. And that is all I am saying. (giggles) Shouldn’t you be having this conversation with my friend Tracey?”

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I reach my left arm out and pull Amber into the conversation that is going on between Debra and I. Me (to Debra): “Now Debra … I want you to apologize to Amber …” Debra (cutting me off): “Apologize? Apologize for what?” Me (calm voice): “For interrupting her dance. Amber was getting her groove on with Bruce, and you interrupted them…” Debra (lighthearted anger): “But it was YOU who told me to go out there ….” I abruptly cut off Debra. Me: “Eh … eh …. No excuses needed. Just say, ‘Amber, I am sorry for interrupting you while you were dancing with Bruce. I would not have wanted you to do that to me…” Debra (reluctant): “Okay, okay …. I’ll be nice. (to Amber) Amber, I am sorry for cutting into your dance. I normally don’t do that because I would feel it would be disrespectful if another woman did that to me. Please accept my apologies…” Me (to Amber): “Now, say ‘Thank you Debra for your apology’… “ Amber: “Thank you Debra for your apology. I appreciate it” Me (to Amber and Debra): “Now was that hard?” Both women slowly, but surely exchange smiles. I give Bruce a “I’m just about done” expression and gesture. In the meantime, Bruce and Tracey are engaged in conversation. Me (to Amber): “Amber … tell Debra how much you want Bruce to fuck you tonight…” Amber gives me a “I don’t believe you just asked me to say that” expression, but I don’t back down from my request.

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Me (to Amber): “Don’t be bashful. Say it.” Amber hesitates, but then she says it. Amber (to Debra): “I am very attracted to Alan’s friend Bruce, and I very much want him to fuck me tonight…” Me (to Amber): “Now say, ‘Debra, if you don’t mind … can I please fuck him tonight? I promise to share the dick with you if you want me to…” Debra: “Alan, you are trippin. I mean, really, really trippin.” Me (to Debra): “Yes … (looking at her directly in her eyes) … but you are still standing here. That is all that matters. (pause) Now, as I was saying…” I lightly spank Amber on her ass and tell her to say what I told her to say. Amber (to Debra): “I want Bruce to fuck me …. and I want to … (hesitates a bit) … I want to share …. (looks at me with a “do you REALLY want me to continue?” look)” Me (whispering in Amber’s ear): “Say it …” Amber (to Debra): “I want Bruce to fuck me …(pause) … and I want him to fuck you too…. if that’s what you want…” I won’t lie. My dick got hard when she said that the way she did. I didn’t’ expect her to say it quite like that. Me: “Oooooooh …. Say that again …. But this time, whisper it in Debra’s ear” Amber carefully and hesitantly moves closer to Debra so she can whisper it to her. I expected Debra to possibly move away, but she doesn’t. Debra remains still and allows Amber to enter into her space. Amber (whispering to Debra): “Debra …. I want Bruce to fuck me tonight … and I want to watch him fuck you too…”

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Right now, I was tempted to say, “Fuck Bruce … I want to fuck both of you two myself!!” But Bruce was my good friend, and my status for the evening was simply to be his ‘wingman.’ To my surprise, Amber started lightly touching Debra on her arm as she whispered in her ear, and even more surprising, Debra did not move back or move away. She just stood there. So, recognizing that these two women had developing chemistry, I decided to escalate things a tad bit. Me (to Debra): “Your turn Debra. Now say to Amber, ‘I want some of that dick too Amber … can you please share that dick with me tonight…” Debra did not say it immediately. She just gave me this look that was half-seductive, and half-“I don’t’ believe I’m showing you this side of me” expression. Debra then smiled at me. Debra (to me): “Alan … you have devil horns growing out of your head …. you know that don’t you...” I just smirked. Me (to Debra): “Now say what I told you to say…” Debra (to Amber): “Amber … (pause) … I really, really want Bruce to fuck me tonight too … are you willing to share his dick with me … please…” Initially, I just wanted to hook Bruce up with ONE woman from the nightclub, but now, I have Amber and Debra talking about sharing and fucking Bruce TONIGHT. In my mind, I was like “Hot damn. Looks like Bruce may be having a threesome tonight after all!” This represents the awesome power of Mode One erotic, upfront, straightforward honesty. Me (to Amber): “Say ‘Yes Debra … I want to watch Bruce fuck you tonight’…”

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Amber (to Debra): “Debra … I want to watch Bruce fuck you tonight …. And then I want him to fuck me just as good as he will probably fuck you….” Me (to both women): “Now go over to Bruce, and whisper in his ear that you both want him to fuck you tonight…” Amber and Debra both nod their heads affirmatively, and then head over to Bruce. Moments later, I see both Amber and Debra whispering in Bruce’s right ear and left ear. Bruce gives me a look that says, “Al, you are the fuckin’ man!!!” A few seconds later, Debra’s friend Tracey comes over to me. Tracey: “I thought you had forgot about me…” Me: “No. Not at all. I just had to straighten some shit out.” Tracey: “Were you over here corrupting my friend Debra?” Me: “Me? With this innocent face? Nah. Just being me.” Tracey: “Innocent face my ass. You are so nasty Alan….” All five of us woke up the next morning with a smile on our faces. Tracey and I continued to exchange orgasms for the next few months.

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Quick lessons to take away from this experience of mine: • Anytime you want to put some sexual thoughts in a woman’s head, but you are a wee bit hesitant to do it yourself, get a male or female friend of yours to become a wingman or a wingwoman for you. If you are somewhat of a “novice” at approaching women, initiating a conversation with them, and talking dirty to them, having a wingman or wingwoman to do those things for you is invaluable to your success with women. Remember: If a wingman (or wingwoman) “hypes” you up as far as your sexual prowess and your ability to please and satisfy a woman in bed, be prepared to deliver. Otherwise, the women you have (disappointing) sex with will talk about you negatively behind your back for days, weeks, and months. • Based on the random survey I conducted, I found that no less than 35% of all single women surveyed said they would be willing to engage in some form of “really kinky sex act” (such as a threesome, or spontaneous sex in public) with a man who they just met or really didn’t’ know that well. Many women actually said they feel more comfortable engaging in “really kinky” sex acts with strangers or new acquaintances than they do with men who they have been involved in a long-term relationship with. Remember: Always practice safe sex. • When you are conversing with women in a provocative manner using erotically explicit language, you should almost expect women to initially be ‘thrown off’ by it, and for them to possibly have somewhat of an adverse response to it. That said, never apologize or back down from anything you ask a woman or say to a woman. Never, ever do that. If you apologize or back down, it makes you look weak … like you have no real balls or backbone. Stand by everything you ask a woman, and every desire, interest or intention you express to a woman, no matter how provocative or explicit your language may be. It’s all about balls and backbone.

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Wrap Up & Final Thoughts There is a popular saying that goes, “it is what it is.” Many women (and men) try to directly associate the desire for sex with feelings of romantic love. This is a major mistake. I can have intercourse with a woman 100+ times, and never feel like I am “in love” with a woman. Based on my conversations with many men, there are more men in society who are share my attitude than those who do not. Sex is what it is. The act of sex is neither ‘good’ or ‘bad.’ The act of sex is neither ‘advantageous’ or ‘detrimental.’ The act of sex is neither ‘memorable’ or ‘regrettable.’ It is the specific people involved in the act of sex that will ultimately determine if both parties smile later or frown later when reminiscing about their intimate activities from the past. Some women have accused me of encouraging men to pursue casual sex instead of long-term monogamous sexual relationships or marriage. I have never done that and I never will. I just want both men and women to be more genuine, upfront and straightforwardly honest about their true sexual desires, interests and intentions with each other. You hear many in society harshly criticizing prostitutes, Call Girls, Erotic Escorts, and adult film actors and actresses, but the reality is, these types are more real about their sexuality than just about anyone else in mainstream society. The subject of sex is hands down the #1 subject that most men want to discuss with women quickly, honestly, and straightforwardly, but are afraid to. Surveys have frequently shown that the top two things men and women are most afraid to discuss with others in a very candid manner is 1) anything to do with their sex life, and 2) anything to do with their personal

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finances. I always say: there is a difference between being private and discreet, and being phony and duplicitous. If you are a parent of a son or daughter, talk to your children about making responsible sex choices. Do you know, more pre-teens and teenagers learn about sex from their peers than they do from their parents and elders? That is a damn shame. Good, high quality, effective sex education is crucial to the development of pre-teens, teenagers and young adults. I hear parents say all the time, “All you see on television and in movies is sex, sex, and sex. That is what is wrong in this country!!” That is bullshit. I have watched many television shows and feature-films that featured gun violence, yet, I have never shot anyone nor have I ever been shot by anyone (knock on wood). Just because you are exposed to fictional characters exhibiting a certain form of behavior does not necessarily mean you will go out and emulate that behavior. You know what men do when they have no confidence or verbal seduction skills? They either try to get women drunk, or they sneak and put date-rape drugs in women’s drinks, and then take advantage of them. What mother or father would want their daughter being taken advantage of like that? In my dream world, I wish all men had the green light from society to just walk up to women of interest anytime and anywhere, and say something along the lines of, “You want to hook up and fuck sometime?” and then have the women say either “yes, I would love that!” or “no, I would not be interested.” Either, or. That would be great. Upfront and straightforward. Until that day comes, most men and women will continue to engage in all of these disingenuous, duplicitous, misleading and manipulative ‘head games’ with one another. And I have decided that my #1 purpose on this earth is to help people quickly and effectively identify these various bullshit head games every opportunity I get. My mission continues . . .

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Other Books & Resources I Recommend http://www.thenationalcampaign.org http://www.plannedparenthood.org http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/ 10 Commandments of Sexual Pleasure – Dr. Susan Block A Little Bit Kinky – Dr. Natasha Janina Valdez Exhibitionism for the Shy: Show Off, Dress Up, and Talk Hot! – Dr. Carol Queen Getting the Sex You Want: Shed Your Inhibitions and Reach New Heights of Passion Together – Tammy Nelson PIMP: The Story of My Life – Robert Beck a.k.a. Iceberg Slim Sultry Sex Talk to Seduce Any Lover: Lust-Inducing Lingo and Titillating Tactics for Maximizing Your Pleasure – Dr. Yvonne Fulbright The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures – Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy The Porn Star Guide to Great Sex – Mr. Marcus Unlimited Power: The New Science of Personal Achievement – Tony Robbins The Voice Book: Caring For, Protecting, and Improving Your Voice – Starr Cookman and Kate DeVore Why Him? Why Her?: Finding Real Love by Understanding Your Personality Type – Dr. Helen Fisher Women’s Anatomy of Arousal – Sheri Winston

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About the Author

Alan Roger Currie was born and raised in Gary, Indiana and graduated from Indiana University in Bloomington, IN. Currie is the Host of two talk radio podcast programs, Upfront & Straightforward with Alan Roger Currie and The Erotic Conversationalist. Currie has been interviewed a number of times on national talk radio programs and local, regional and national television talk shows. Currie, whose female friends and listeners refer to as “The King of Verbal Seduction,” has been a featured speaker for various attraction and seduction workshops and conferences in various cities in the USA and in the United Kingdom. Currie splits time between the Chicagoland / NW Indiana region and Southern California.

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About t he Book Copyright © 2012 Alan Roger Currie

ISBN: 978-0-9850314-3-5 All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the author. Printed in the United States of America. Mode One Multimedia, Inc. 2012 http://www.modeone.net [email protected]

Other eBooks and paperbacks by Author Alan Roger Currie: Mode One: Let the Women Know What You’re REALLY Thinking Mode One – HARDCORE (eBook only) Upfront and Straightforward: Let the Manipulative Game Players Know What You’re REALLY Thinking Mode One – Semantics and Scenarios: Inside the Mind of the Manipulative Game Player (eBook only) Oooooh . . . Say it Again: Mastering the Fine Art of Verbal Seduction and Aural Sex

Alan Roger Currie M o d e O n e M u l t i m ed i a , I n c . i n f o @ m o d eo n e.n et h t t p ://www.m o d eo n e.n et /p ro d u c t s/

ACKNOWLEDGMENT S Much love and appreciation to all of my family members, relatives, close friends and loyal supporters of all my books and talk radio podcast programs. Special acknowledgement always goes to those in my close inner circle of friends, which includes among others, my older brother, Stephen C. Currie Special shout outs to Alex Lasarev, Alix Rico (pseud) a.k.a. Your Royal Flyness, and Chicago Photographer Carlos Alvarez. Also, much props and respect to all authors, filmmakers, and screenwriters who tend to write books and/or films that offer an objective perspective on the strengths and weaknesses of the members of both genders. I also have a lot of respect for Ms. Esther Vilar, author of The Manipulated Man. It took a lot of courage for her to write the book she did, when she did. Much love and respect to the late Robert Beck a.k.a. "Iceberg Slim" ... your books have always inspired me and filled my head with knowledge and wisdom. Same goes for the late John Leslie. Leslie's fictional character of "Jack" enlightened me about approaching women, interacting with women, and always being your true authentic self, more than anyone will ever know. I appreciate all of the love, support, encouragement, and Email messages of gratitude I receive from men (and women too!) who reside in a number of different countries all over the world. I thank all of the older men and wiser men who have shared their knowledge and wisdom with me over the years, and I hope I have helped many men who are younger than me and/or less experienced with women than me improve their interpersonal communication skills with members of the opposite sex. To Alix Edouard Grand-Pierre … thank you for lighting a fire under my butt! You said, “Go ahead and write that book Alan!” Well, here it is. I hope you and my other male friends and supporters enjoy it.

T ABLE OF CONT ENT S INT RODUCT ION PREFACE: AN EXPERIENCE IN A LOS ANGELES CHURCH WOKE ME UP

PART ONE: TIMEWASTERS: I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU, BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I DON'T WANT YOU TO TRY TO GET IN MY PANTS! CHAPT ER ONE - WOMEN WHO WANT YOU TO BECOME THEIR PERSONAL "EGO & SELF-ESTEEM BOOSTER" CHAPT ER T WO - WOMEN WHO WANT YOU TO BECOME THEIR "PERSONAL ENTERTAINER" AND/OR "PLATONIC BOYFRIEND" CHAPT ER T HREE - WOMEN WHO WANT YOU TO BECOME THEIR "GOSSIP BUDDY" AND PROVIDE THEM WITH AN "EMPATHETIC LISTENING EAR" CHAPT ER FOUR - WOMEN WHO WANT YOU TO BECOME THEIR "PLATONIC SUGAR DADDY' AND HELP THEM OUT WHENEVER THEY NEED A FAVOR

PART TWO: NO GOOD WOMEN: THESE WOMEN MAY AGREE TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU, BUT IN THE LONG-RUN, THEY SHOULD STILL BE AVOIDED CHAPT ER FIVE - I JUST WANT YOUR MONEY: THE VERY SEASONED, SAVVY GOLD DIGGER CHAPT ER SIX - MAN THIEVES: WOMEN WHO TRY TO "STEAL A GOOD MAN AWAY" FROM HIS WIFE OR LONG-TERM GIRLFRIEND CHAPT ER SEVEN - DRAMA QUEENS: WOMEN WHO LOVE TO NAG MEN AND ARGUE WITH MEN JUST FOR THE SAKE OF ARGUING CHAPT ER EIGHT - THE MISANDRIST: I DON'T NEED A MAN . . . BUT IF YOU BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP ME, I WILL HAVE SEX WITH YOU (OCCASIONALLY) CHAPT ER NINE - LIARS & CHEATERS: WOMEN WHO ARE PATHOLOGICALLY DISHONEST AND DISLOYAL, OR AT MINIMUM, EXTREMELY FICKLE

WRAP UP & FINAL T HOUGHT S MOVIES I RECOMMEND WAT CHING T HAT ARE RELAT ED T O T HE CONT ENT S OF T HIS BOOK ABOUT T HE AUT HOR

Introduction I am now going to permanently stop saying that each book I write is my last book. Some of my followers are going to start looking at me as if I am a boldface liar. When I published Mode One: Let the Women Know What You’re REALLY Thinking , I told many friends and followers that this would be the only book I planned on writing and publishing. About a year later, I wrote an eBook entitled Mode One – HARDCORE, and I said “for sure” that I was done. Then, in December of 2008, I got invited to teach an adult education course on the campus of Indiana University Northwest in Gary, Indiana entitled Dating for 21st Century Singles. I wanted a new and different book to use as my primary textbook for that course, so I wrote and published my second paperback, Upfront and Straightforward: Let the Manipulative Game Players Know What You’re REALLY Thinking. Later, in Spring 2010, I wrote another eBook only entitled Semantics and Scenarios: Inside the Mind of the Manipulative Game Player. I did not sell too many copies of that eBook, but those who have read it provided me with positive feedback and reviews. Finally, in December 2011, I wrote and published my lengthiest and most risque book ever entitled, Oooooh . . . Say it Again: Mastering the Fine Art of Verbal Seduction and Aural Sex . Some of my readers, followers and supporters have commented that they believe Say it Again is the best and most informative book I have written to date (between January 2012 and September 2012, Say it Again actually outsold Mode One). After Say it Again was written and published, I definitely said, “This is it. I am not writing any more books!!” Well, here I am again. If each and every man who read all my previous eBooks and paperbacks had truly absorbed my principles and philosophies, no additional books would be needed. The reality is, each time I have written and published a book, a percentage of my followers will say, “Hey Alan! Great book! I really enjoyed [insert title of their favorite book here]!! What a great read. If you don’t mind me saying so though, I would really love it if you wrote just ONE MORE BOOK further explaining [insert concept from one of my previous books that the reader felt like I did not explain in enough detail here]. Please think about it. Thank you!!” If you read Upfront and Straightforward, you will remember that I divided all women who men want to have long-term sex or short-term sex with into four categories: Reciprocat ors: These are women who once you let them know what your specific sexual desires, interests, and intentions are, these women will reciprocate your desires and interests fairly quickly and straightforwardly; Reject ers: These are women who once you let them know what your specific sexual desires, interests, and intentions are, these women will let you know fairly quickly and straightforwardly that they are NOT interested in having sex with you Pret enders: These are women who once you let them know what your specific sexual desires, interests, and intentions are, these women will initially, temporarily, or indefinitely “pretend” as though they are NOT interested in having sex with you (similar to a “Rejecter”), but deep down, they actually are interested in having sex with you. At some point in the near or distant future, they will confess their true sexual desires and interests to you (particularly if you have exhibited Mode One Behavior toward them). Analyzing and further explaining the mindset of women who are "Pretenders" was the primary basis for my last book, Oooooh . . . Say it Again And finally, the last category of the four is that of Timewast ers. These are women who once you let them know what your specific sexual desires, interests, and intentions are, these women will set out to initially, temporarily, or indefinitely give you the misleading impression that they are just as interested in having sex with you, as you are in having sex with them, but

in reality, they are just looking to ‘use’ you, manipulate you, and generally waste your time for self-serving motivations. In the last month or two, I have had at least a handful of guys write me and say, “Alan … if you wouldn’t mind … could you write a book that goes into more detail about women who are Timewaster types? I would really like to know how to quickly and effectively identify these types, expose these types, and generally avoid these types so that I do not waste much time or money pursuing them in an unproductive manner. Thank you so much!” The very, very simple solution to identifying women who are Timewasters is to consistently exhibit Mode One Behavior toward each and every woman you meet. When you exhibit Mode One Behavior with Pretenders, they eventually acknowledge that they are really Reciprocators; Similarly, when you exhibit Mode One Behavior with Timewasters, they will soon become angry, frustrated, and truthful, and admit that they are really "Rejecters." When a woman who is a ‘Timewaster’ type encounters a man with a Mode One conversation style, her true colors will always come out. Always. Trust me on this fellas. This book started out as a freelance article I wrote for The Examiner.com entitled, What women should men avoid? Very few authors offer advice on this subject (published on The Examiner.com on September 25, 2012). Surprisingly, not only did the men who read the article like it, but I received very few if any criticisms, insults, or disagreements from my female readers (which is rare for me!). The women who read the article agreed with most, if not all of what I said. Next thing I know, with the urging of a few friends and supporters, I expanded the themes of the article and turned it into this book. Even women have to acknowledge: probably 90% or more of the books published in the "dating and relationships" genre and "love and sex" genre tend to include or highlight topics such as "what men all women should avoid," "what men to look out for," "how to motivate your man to a better boyfriend or husband," and other similar-themed chapters and book titles. If you go on Amazon.com right now, you would be hard pressed to find a book that centers on the weaknesses in women's behavior, and what types of women that men should look out for, or totally avoid interacting with. Truth? I do not point my finger at the women who lie to men, mislead men, manipulate men, and disrespect men as much as I do the naive, inexperienced, gullible, impatiently horny, or superficial men who allow these women to repeatedly get away with such behavior. The primary men who get taken advantage of by manipulative women are usually those who are very desperate and overanxious to have sex with each and every attractive woman they meet, those who put an exceptionally high degree of emphasis on a woman's physical appearance, and those who are dreadfully afraid of losing the attention or companionship of a woman who is providing them with satisfying sex ... or in some cases, a woman who is only teasing them with nothing more than the possibility of sex. Hence, the title of this book. When you possess a combination of the factors listed above, this is when you become an ideal candidate to be misled and manipulated by women on a monthly, weekly, or even a daily basis. I want to say this to my female readers: There are a lot of good women in society. Many of them. Not all women have an underlying desire to lie to men, mislead men, manipulate men or take advantage of men using their looks, sex appeal, and feminine charms. I meet women regularly who are good-hearted women who are just looking to be loved and appreciated by a really good man. I hate seeing good women getting lied to, misled, or emotionally manipulated by men who have very self-serving desires and intentions.

By the same token, I also hate seeing good men constantly being taken advantage of by women who are savvy, seasoned manipulators. The behavior of dishonest and manipulative women angers me just as much as the behavior of dishonest and manipulative men. You might ask, "What exactly is a manipulative woman?" If you are a woman who exhibits the behavior of the aforementioned “Reciprocator” or “Rejecter,” then this would represent that you are generally a non-manipulative woman. If you want to have sex with a man and you straightforwardly tell him that, that is representative of non-manipulative behavior. If you do not want to have sex with a man and you straightforwardly tell him that, then this is also an example of non-manipulative behavior. If a woman exhibits the behavior of a “Pretender” and/or a “Timewaster,” this is when I categorize a woman as being manipulative. If you never straightforwardly let men know your sexual desires and interests, or lack thereof, you are being misleading and manipulative. If you employ a lot of “vague” and “ambiguous” language when conversing with men, you are a manipulator. If you constantly lie to men in order to get what you want from them, you are both a liar and a manipulator. If you are truly a "good" woman with a high degree of moral character and integrity, then nothing in this book will offend you, because the criticisms within this book will not apply to you. But if you are woman who has a history of lying to men, misleading men, manipulating men, or generally treating men in a foul, undesirable, disrespectful manner, then you are going to feel like I wrot e t his book just for you. The women in society with highly manipulative intentions toward men know who they are. They know exactly who they are. And in this book, I am about t o call you out . Big time. Continue reading my friend.

Preface: An Experience in a Los Angeles Church Woke Me Up

If you are a single heterosexual man reading this, do you believe that all men are hornier for sex than all women? I would bet money that at least two-thirds or more of the men would say, “Yes! Everyone knows that men want sex from women more than women want sex from men! That is common knowledge!!” I have actually heard men offer comments like this over the years. What if I told you that you have been bamboozled, brainwashed, hoodwinked, and lied to? (Yes, I watched Spike Lee’s Malcolm X a number of times) Are there some men who are hornier for sex from women than there are women who are horny for sex from men? Sure. Of course. Would never argue that for a second. But if any woman (or man) were to suggest that ALL men are “naturally” hornier for sex than women, I would say “hogwash.” Many members of the media and the entertainment industry perpetuate this myth, as well as various factions of society, but it is simply not t rue. I remember back in 2007, a female friend of mine named McKenya had a Mode One book signing event for me at her home, which I really appreciated. There was only one other man who attended, which was the husband of one of McKenya’s good friends. All the rest of the attendees were women. Some single, some in a relationship, some married. At one point during the book signing event, the women had persuaded me to share some of my notorious “Mode One Same Day Seduction Stories.” Instances where I had met a woman, and within roughly an hour or two after I made these women’s acquaintance for the first time, I was either engaged in intercourse with them, or at minimum, I was receiving oral sex from them. I thought many of the women would be "prudish" types, but most of the women enjoyed listening to my stories of instantaneous seduction (actually, most women I meet at workshops or book signing events want to hear my stories). The most interesting point of the evening that I made to the women was when I told them, “With most of my same day seductions, it was not my specific intention to have sex with those women t hat day. Usually, I was looking to have sex with them days later, weeks later, or even months later. It most cases, it was actually t he women who became so horny and so impatient to have sex that it ended up being t heir idea for us to have sex - not mine.” Many of the women looked at me surprised, confused, or skeptical. There was one woman though who just really, really stared at me. Minutes later, she smirked at me. Then finally, she stood up from her chair. She said emphatically, “This brother is smooth. This brother is also sneaky. Oooooooh weeeee. This brother is something else.” Everyone in attendance just started looking at her with an expression of, “What are you talking about? What do you mean?” The woman continued. She said, “This brother knows women. And all you girls in here know this man knows what he is talking about.” One of McKenya’s girlfriends said to the woman standing, “I am so lost. Please explain.” The woman standing said, “Confidence, patience, and sexual self-control in a man brings the horny out in a woman. Y’all (the women in the room) know that. This brother knows that and uses it to his advantage. He uses this knowledge to bring out the horny in women. And y’all women know what I’m talking about. If I am attracted to a man, and that man acts like he can wait longer than I can to have sex, then I am going to get real, real horny. I think all women

do. There is something very sexually appealing about a man who can wait more patiently than a woman to have sex.” Sure enough, some of the women started lightheartedly saying “Shhhhh!!! Men are not supposed to know that about us!! Girl, shut your mouth!!!” We all started laughing. When I was a sophomore, junior, and senior in high school, I rarely initiated sex with women. I would say, on average, at least three out of every four women I had sex with in high school initiated sexual activity with me. The night I lost my virginity, I went from one extreme to the other. During “Round One” of the sex, I had an orgasm in less than three or four minutes. I felt embarrassed. Then, when it came to “Round Two,” I must have maintained an erection for about forty-five minutes or longer, but I failed to ejaculate a second time. Consequently, I was never really that anxious to aggressively pursue girls for sex during the remainder of my time in high school. I had developed a "performance anxiety-related fear" of experiencing either a) premature ejaculation or b) having an erection last for thirty minutes or longer without experiencing an ejaculatory orgasm. As a result of those performance anxietyrelated fears, it was very easy for me to be cool, calm, and collected around the girls who chose to flirt with me. I would let women offer me sex as opposed to me "chasing" it. Many popular "sex symbol" type male celebrities do that to this day. Movie star George Clooney once said in an interview that he rarely pursues women. The vast majority of the time, he allows women to offer romantic and sexual companionship to him. Clooney also said in a Playboy interview that he is dreadfully afraid of rejection. Act ually, at least half of my male friends in high school told me that during most of their sexual experiences with the girls, it was the girls who were the aggressive ones … not them. Even my late mother used to constantly warn me about what she referred to as “fast ass girls.” That was my mother’s description for teenage girls who were already sexually active, and did not hesitate to aggressively pursue boys for sex. Now I will admit, I was more assertive toward the pursuit of sex from women when I was in college at Indiana University in Bloomington, Indiana. It was in late 1984, early 1985 when I first started exhibiting what I now refer to as “Mode One Behavior” (i.e., the habit of expressing my romantic and/or sexual desires, interests and intentions to women in a highly self-assured, upfront, unapologetic, and straightforwardly honest manner within the first few minutes of my initial conversation with a woman). Fast forward to Summer of 1994. I was now living in Los Angeles to pursue a career in the Entertainment Industry, and in late July of that year, I became a member of a nondenominational church that was very popular in L.A. – and also very controversial for its “cultlike” ways. I could write another, totally different book just about my experiences in that church, but for the purposes of this book, I will try to keep my thoughts brief and to-the-point. At the time I was involved, that church had the largest membership not only of any other church in Los Angeles, but any other church in California. I remained a member of this church until about late December of 1996. Being a member of the church was very interesting, primarily because aside from learning more about Christianity and the Bible, I gained a lot more knowledge, wisdom and insight related to dating and relationships and male-female interaction dynamics. Now, you would think that if you had hundreds of single heterosexual men in a church trying their best to practice premarital abstinence and celibacy, many of them would quickly leave the church just based on sexual frustration alone. Men refer to an extended period of sexual frustration as "blue balls." Similarly, you would assume that the vast majority of the single women in the church would have a relatively easy time remaining chaste and sexually self-controlled, since that is how

society often portrays women to be … right ? Wait a minute ... RIGHT?!? Well, surprisingly for some … and not-so-surprisingly for others reading this book, what unfolded turned out to be practically just t he opposit e. Here is what I realized about the vast majority of my fellow men: If you put a group of single heterosexual men in a social environment where they know for a fact that all of the women who they are conversing with and interacting with are commit t ed t o wait ing unt il marriage t o have sex, the men will become very laid back, reserved, and sexually self-controlled. The men will not behave in an "impatiently horny" or overly-aggressive manner with women. If you add in the additional factor that all of the women had to wear clothing that was relatively “conservative” (which meant no outfits could be worn by the women that were consensusly deemed as “provocative” or “too revealing”), then it made it that much easier for the men to remain cool, calm, collected, and in control of their hormones around women. Believe it or not, when I was a member of that church, I actually got criticized for not approaching women enough. Some of my followers would find that unbelievable. Contrary to my sometimes "distorted" reputation of being hypersexual, I rarely try to "rush" a woman into bed. I am quicker to initiate a conversation about sex than I am quick to actually engage in sex. Particularly when I know a woman is practicing celibacy, I am not assertive or aggressive at all sexually. When I was a member of that church for 28 or 29 months, I never once pursued any of the female members of that church for sexual activity or phone sex. Not once. I had one incident where I almost had sex with a female member, and in that instance, it was she who initiated our physical interaction … not me. One time while I was a member of the church, some of the leaders called a meeting of all the single men in the church, and it was about “instances of sexually inappropriate behavior, sexual aggression, and even date-rape.” My roommates and I thought we were about to be admonished harshly for behavior exhibited by some of the other men in the church. Guess what happened during that meeting among the single men? The Singles leaders ended up telling us that just about all of the acts of “sexually inappropriate behavior” and “sexual aggressiveness” had been committed by t he single women in t he church!! Less than a handful of the incidents involved the men being the aggressors, and the few that were guilty were young college students (most men have little sexual self-control in high school and college). There were even one or two incidents where some female members exhibited behavior that came very close to being categorized as “date-rape” with the men. Can you believe that?? Up to that point, I had never heard of a woman attempting to 'date-rape' a man! Wow. That blew my mind. The leaders went on to say, “You men have to be (sexually) strong. Not only for yourselves, but for the women. Women are weak. Women actually give in to sexual temptation much quicker and easier than men do. Men … be spiritually strong.” Now society says, “All men think about is sex, sex, sex!” That is all hype and B.S. Men in today’s society think about sex because most of t he women in societ y want us t o. You read what I wrote correctly. On September 1, 2012, I was the featured speaker at what is known as a "Relationship Chat" that was held in Chicago. One of the other speakers, who was a woman, said to those in attendance, “The average man thinks about sex once every ten seconds.” I disagreed with her. I told the crowd that this was a highly invalid myth that is perpetuated by women and society in general. Matter of fact, sex therapist Dr. Gail Elizabeth Wyatt said in an interview I read that the belief that men thought about sex once every 7-10 seconds was indeed a myth." I know for a fact that I do not think about sex once every 7-10 seconds. If anything, I think about eating chicken wings and drinking Peach Snapple once every ten seconds. Okay, I am joking (I do love both of those food items though). Being a book author and a talk radio host, I

would argue that the number one thing on my mind constantly is how to better market my books and how to attract high caliber guests to be interviewed on my talk radio podcast program, Upfront & Straightforward with Alan Roger Currie or my other more risque program ent it led, The Erotic Conversationalist. The second thing I think about the most is upcoming interviews and events related to my career, and just handling my business (e.g., paying bills, keeping my house organized, trying to get my workout in, etc.) Most men who are successful and active do not have time to think about having sex an average of once every 7-10 seconds. Do you know more women who I knew left that church because of both egotistical frustration and sexual frustration than men? I remember there was this one very beautiful Latina who was in the church that left the church about six or seven months before I did. We ended up running into each other a few weeks after she left the church, and I asked her what were her specific reasons for leaving. She was honest. She said, “Alan, I couldn’t take it. More specifically, my ego couldn’t take it.” We both chuckled a bit. She continued, “Alan, not to sound conceited or anything, but I am used to men hitting on me left and right every single day. I may not be the most gorgeous woman in L.A., but I’m damn sure not the ugliest. When I was in the church, I had hardly any men pursue me or ask me out on dates. I was in that church for over two years, and I got asked out on a date maybe ten to fifteen of times. Before I joined the church, I got asked out on dates ten to fifteen times per month. I couldn’t take it. I love to be flattered, and I love to be pursued sexually. Even if I am not interested in having sex with a guy, I still want him to pursue me. I still want a man to at least try to get in my pants, even if I know that I am going to eventually reject him. None of these guys in the church were even trying to get in my pants. And that left me feeling very undesirable and unattractive.”

Did you see what she said? She said, “Even if I am not int erest ed in having sex wit h a guy, I st ill want t hat man t o pursue me sexually. I st ill want him t o t ry t o get in my pant s, even if I know t hat I am going t o reject him.” This is very important for all you men reading this book right now to keep in mind. Over the years, I have come to realize that this is how all (manipulative) women feel. Even when they are not interested in a man, they still want that man to think that the possibility of sex in the near or distant future is on the table of opportunity. If there is one thing that many women love more than sex itself, it is the flattering attention they receive from men who want to exchange orgasms with them. Women love having men constantly trying to get in their pants. Some women will pretend as though they are annoyed by such behavior, but for most women, that is all an “act.” Heterosexual and bisexual women would go crazy if men completely and indefinitely stopped pursuing them sexually. Most women would not be able to adjust to that egotistically. I met significantly more men in that church who were willing to wait until marriage to have sex than I did women. The reality is this: If you took away men’s desire for sex - and even more specifically, men’s desire for casual sex – there would be a lot of women in society who would receive very lit t le, if any at t ent ion from men. The only women in the church who I found who had an easy time committing themselves to premarital celibacy were those women who were so attractive, so personable, and had so much going for them, that they would receive a lot of attention from men whether they were offering sex or not. What I learned and fully realized during my months in that church is that women are not naturally “less horny” than men. Most women are socially condit ioned and brainwashed to believe that they are supposed to carry themselves as a "respectable lady," which means maintaining a higher degree of restraint and self-control over their sexual urges and hormones

than men. This takes me back to what the woman who stood up at my friend McKenya's party confessed: It is easy for women to act cool, calm, and collected around men who are aggressive and impatiently horny. That is no challenge for them. But if you place those same women in an environment where the men are exhibiting just as much if not more patience and sexual self-control than they are, many of those women's more assertive, aggressive, and impatiently horny side will reveal itself. Matter of fact, I will reveal a lighthearted "psychological trick" I used to employ with a few women in order to agitate them and get them horny when I lived in Los Angeles. This 'trick' would work just about every time, assuming the woman was a "Reciprocator" type or "Pretender" type. What I would do is say, "I want to fu** you really, really, really bad .... I mean, really bad." Then, I would pause. Many times, they would offer a response after that comment. Then, I would say, "I have a lot on my schedule for the next four, five, six months ... but about six months from now? Oh my God ... when I hook up with you in six or seven months, I am going to wear you out..." For women, that would both confuse t hem and frust rat e t hem. At first, these women would think I was so anxious to get in their pants that I wanted to jump in the sack that very moment. Then, for me to virtually contradict that by suggesting that I could wait as long as six months would throw them for a loop. What would that 'trick' do in the long-run? Again, assuming that the woman was genuinely interested in having sex with me (i.e., a "Reciprocator" or "Pretender"), this 'trick' made many women become super-duper horny. This is why the woman at my book signing party said, "This brother knows his stuff." A lot of men confuse this little 'trick' of mine with dating coaches and seduction gurus who espouse "indifference" and "feigned lack of desire." I disagree with the latter two. I heard one guy say, "The key to getting women to hit on you is to act like you're not interested in them at all." I don't agree with that. No woman could get my attention by giving me the impression that she is totally not attracted to me, and totally not interested in sharing my company. Other gurus will say, "You have to give a woman the impression that you are 'indifferent' toward having sex with them." Hmmm. I say, either you are genuinely indifferent, or you are not. It is hard for me to "act" like I am indifferent toward the idea of having sex with a woman when I know I want to. What I believe in, is that you let women know that you are very, very interested in having sex with them ... but you do not allow your desires and interests to have connotations of "impatience," "overanxiousness," or "desperation." Men, when you always act like you are more anxious and more horny to have sex with a woman than she is to have sex with you, you give away all of your power. Worse, you set yourself up to be misled and manipulated by women. Women who love to toy with men, play games with men, and take advantage of men bank on men behaving in an "impatiently horny" manner. A lot of my male readers have made the mistake of thinking that exhibiting Mode One Behavior is synonymous with trying to get a woman in bed as quickly as possible. That is so not t rue. Just because I express my sexual desires, interests, and intentions to women in an upfront, straightforwardly honest manner does not necessarily mean that I want to have sex with that woman t hat day. For example, usually when I let a woman know I want to have sex with her, I will say, "I think we should exchange orgasms at some point in the next three-to-five weeks." I rarely have approached a woman, and said, "Hey! I want to fu** you RIGHT NOW!! Are you available??" Uhm ... no. Not my style. Based on my experiences and observations, I would assert that at minimum, women are just as horny for sex as men are, and in many cases, I think women are actually hornier for sex than men are. Did you know that the term “nymphomaniac” specifically and exclusively applies to women? There is no such thing as a “male nymphomaniac.”

I actually had a fellow author by the name of James Amoureux tell me in Las Vegas in March 2012 that prior to what was known as “The Victorian Age,” which started in the early part of the 19th Century, women were frequently and generally considered to be the “hornier sex” in society (Amoureux is by far one of the most intelligent and knowledgeable scholars I have ever conversed with about the history of sex, kinky sex, BDSM, and erotic role-play. This man knows his stuff!) I will offer at least two reasons why it seems like all men are hornier than all women: 1. Men tend to behave in a much more lustful and lascivious manner when they are in the company of women who they know are indulging in premarital sex, and more specifically, short-term, non-monogamous “casual” sex. Men become much more aggressive, and much more impatient and horny if they are under the assumption that the women who they are surrounded by are very kinky, very promiscuous, and “easy” to get in bed; 2. Men tend to get very easily aroused when they are in the company of women who are wearing sexually provocative and revealing outfits (e.g., bikinis, sexy lingerie, tight, short dresses and skirts, etc.). I learned in my Human Sexuality 101 course in college that men actually get more turned on by women who are wearing “scantily clad” outfits than they do by women who are 100% nude. I believe that. I can name at least two or three times I’ve been around totally nude strippers, and I did not experience an erection even one time. Again, based on my experiences in that Los Angeles church, as well as many of my other experiences with women before and after my membership in that church, I would make the argument that many men are more than capable of controlling themselves sexually when they are in the company of women who are a) conservatively dressed and b) totally committed to remaining celibate until marriage. I have a very close friend and fraternity brother who said the same thing happened in his church. He said among the singles in the church, the women were putting forth more effort to try to "tempt" the men into having sex than vice versa. If you are a man reading this, have you ever been around women when they are in the company of male strippers? Have you seen videos of women around male strippers?? Women go crazy around male st rippers. Seriously. Most men are actually pretty calm, relaxed and in control of themselves when they are around female strippers. Women? Rarely. I remember I used to visit this nightclub in Chicago called “Chic Rick’s.” Toward the back of the nightclub, they would have these photographs of a number of attractive, sexy women yelling and screaming at some men who were part of a male strippers revue that would come to Chic Rick’s to perform for the ladies approximately once every 2-3 months or so. One time, I noticed that there was a notice that that said they were no longer having the male revue. I got curious as to what happened, so I asked one of the workers. I said, “Not that I was ever interested in attending other than to possibly hit on some of the honeys … but out of curiosity, why did they stop having the revue? From the pictures, it always looked like the room was packed with beautiful women.” The guy chuckled, and shook his head. He had that look like, "Man, if you only knew." Finally, he said, “Dawg, I’m gonna keep it real. These horny ass bitches was losin’ their damn mind!!” We both laughed. He continued, “Have you ever seen horny ass bitches around male strippers? Dawg … they don’t know how to act. That’s why we had to shut it down, if only temporarily. These horny ass bitches were jumpin’ on the stage, damn near trying to rape these dudes (the male strippers). It was ridiculous. I've never seen women act like that.” I know exactly why women act like that (around male strippers). This goes back to my book, Oooooh . . . Say it Again. In that book, I emphasize that women come out of the womb with just as many sexual urges as men do. What happens though, is as we move from children to pre-teens, preteens to teenagers, and teenagers to adults, women are socially conditioned to control their urges in order to present themselves as a "good girl." But when you put women in an

environment like a Bachelorette party, when they know they are not going to be judged (why would they? Who is going to act pretentious and prudish at a Bachelorette party?!? If you were truly prudish, you would not be there in the first place) ... they are going to reveal t heir real behavior. I had a buddy in Los Angeles who was a male stripper for a while. He used to show me videos of the women who attended the “Bachelorette parties” he performed at. These women would act C-R-A-Z-Y. On average, I would say that women are far more sexually aggressive with male strippers than most men are with female strippers. No contest. Here’s the deal: If a woman is really attracted to you, and really wants to have sex with you, then 90-99% chance, she is going to make it very easy for you to have sex with her. Trust me on t his. Women do not play games with men who they are hot and horny for. They will spread their legs with a quickness. The main group of men that women who are “Timewasters” will tend to engage in a lot of manipulative “head games” with are those men who fall into one or more of the following categories: · Men who they have very little, if any sexual interest in, but these men are willing to flatter them consistently and excessively; · Men who they have very little, if any sexual interest in, but these men are willing to provide them with entertaining conversation and dependable (platonic) social companionship; · Men who they have very little, if any sexual interest in, but these men are willing to spend money on them or loan them money, “wine and dine” them, or provide them with materialistic gifts or employment opportunities; · Men who they have very little, if any sexual interest in, but these men are willing to listen to the women “vent” about their problems and frustrations with other men of interest, and willing to provide an “empathetic listening ear” for the women; Women who are “Pretenders” and “Timewasters” are similar, but yet different in their approach to men. A “Pretender” is a woman who is very, very reluctant to reciprocat e a man’s sexual desires, interests and intentions in an upfront, straightforwardly honest manner. Why? Two reasons: 1) Pretenders want to first see if you can pass their “tests,” and they want to see what you are going to offer them of value in exchange for the women's sexual companionship, and 2) If your interest is specifically casual sex, they are afraid of being perceived as a “ho” and/or a “slut.” Therefore, they play games before eventually acknowledging that they do indeed want to have sex with a man. A “Timewaster” is a woman who is very, very reluctant to reject a man’s sexual desires, interests, and intentions in an upfront, straightforwardly honest manner. Why? For all of the reasons that I listed above. Timewasters are women who want to offer men who are impatiently horny the possibility of sex as a “carrot on the stick” and a tool of manipulation that will motivate men to feed the women’s own egos with flattery, entertain them privately and socially, provide financial and non-financial favors, or to provide them with an empathetic listening ear when some selfish, egotistical womanizer type guy has sex with them and dumps them. Most Timewasters either have a lot of respect for a guy like me, or they literally despise a man like me. I have received both responses from women. The most frustrating thing you can do with a woman who is either a “Pretender” and/or a “Timewaster” is to put t he women in a posit ion where t hey have t o quickly and st raight forwardly reciprocat e your desires and int erest s -or- quickly and st raight forwardly reject your desires and int erest s. In the next four chapters, I am going to go into specific detail how many women who are

Timewasters mislead, manipulate, and take advantage of unsuspecting men who are naive, gullible, and impatiently horny. The worst position you can be in as a man is to be a guy who very much want s t o have sex wit h a woman … but you are also dreadfully afraid t o let t hat woman know t hat in a confident, upfront, and straightforwardly honest manner. I had a female guest on my talk radio show who wrote a book about being a gold digger, and she all but admitted that during my interview with her. This woman basically said that she has never been able to successfully take advantage of a man who exhibits Mode One Behavior, but if you are a man who is naïve, horny, financially generous, and scared to express your desire for sex in a forthright manner, she is going to play you for all you got. Men who use a lot of indirect, cautious, vague and ambiguous language with women who are Timewasters are playing right into their hands. This is what women who are Timewast ers want you t o do. The bottom line is simply this: In today’s world, very few women are going to commit themselves to premarital abstinence and celibacy. Especially women with highly manipulative intentions. Why? Because it is not egotistically and/or financially advantageous to do so. Think back to the comments of the lovely Latina who left the church in L.A. before I did. If most men know for a fact that a woman is committed to avoiding sex before marriage, or committed to avoiding sex outside the context of a long-term monogamous “boyfriendgirlfriend” type relationship, many men are not going to give women any flattering attention, or make any effort to share their company on a date. To all my "good women" reading, listen up: If you tell a man you are firmly committed to remaining celibate prior to marriage, and that man genuinely still wants to share your company and take you out, this is when you know that man is really, sincerely interested in you. If you are attracted to this man, hold on to him. He's a keeper. On the other hand, if you as a woman are savvy enough to give most of the men you come in contact with the misleading impression that there is at least a 1% - 5% chance that if these men go out of their way to please you, flatter you, wine and dine you, and generally accommodate you, that their “lucky day of enjoyable sex” could become a reality in the very near future, many men will gobble up the bait you're offering with a quickness. In a nutshell? It is not actually offering sex to a man that gives many attractive, desirable women manipulative power. It is simply putting the idea in a man’s mind that he has in his hands the possibility of sex (and particularly, casual sex) at some point in the near or distant future. This is literally how thousands of women take advantage of naive, inexperienced, or unsuspecting men regularly. Now, I am about to go into more detail describing just how women accomplish their underlying objectives.

PART ONE Timewasters: “I Don’t Want to Have Sex with You, But That Doesn’t Mean That I Don’t Want You to Try to Get in My Pants!!” Refer back quickly to the comment from the lovely Latina who left the Los Angeles church a few months before I did. She said, “Even if I am not interested in having sex with a guy, I still want that man to pursue me sexually. I still want him to try to get in my pants, even if I know that I am going to eventually reject him..” You can think of this comment of hers as the #1 mindset and personal philosophy and "credo" of women who are Timewasters. Let me make this clear: If a woman lets you know ahead of time that all she is interested in is a totally non-sexual, platonic friendship with you, and then you accept the terms of that type of relationship with her wholeheartedly, you cannot then turn around and label that woman a ‘Timewaster’ or a manipulative woman. That is representative of a woman telling you straightup, "you're never going to get in my pants, so don't even try." That is not a Timewaster, but rather, that is a "Rejecter" who is offering you the "consolation prize" of indefinite platonic friendship. Timewasters are women who exhibit some degree of “flirtatious” behavior toward you, or even sexually provocative behavior toward you, but they never agree to indulge in intercourse with you and they never agree to perform oral sex on you. They use the possibility of sex as a “carrot on a stick” to reel you in. That is their "hook." That is their "bait." I recall one time in the early 1990s, I had this female friend who I went to college with who was always wearing very revealing, sexually provocative clothing around me. At first, it did not bother me. After a few weeks, it did. So one day, I said to her, “When are we going to just go ahead and ‘do the do’ . . .” She said, “Excuse me?” I said, “You’re excused. When are you and I going to have sex?” She just started giggling and saying things like, “Alan, you’re so crazy … you are so bad … etc., etc., etc.” She behaved as though she thought I was joking, but I was dead serious. I asked this woman repeatedly to say either, “Alan, I am definitely going to have sex with you …,” or “Alan, I am definitely not going to have sex with you …” She literally refused to verbally express either response. So, I stopped speaking to her and hanging out with her for the next three or four years. That interaction was a classic example of a Timewaster. There are four specific types of Timewasters that I will describe in detail in Part One of this book: Timewast er Type #1 Women who will flirt with you, and give you the misleading impression that they will possibly have sex with you, in order to motivate you to consistently provide them with flattering attention Timewast er Type #2 Women who will flirt with you, and give you the misleading impression that they will possibly have sex with you, in order to motivate you to entertain them and hang out with them socially when they are bored or lonely Timewast er Type #3 Women who will flirt with you, and give you the misleading impression that they will possibly have sex with you, in order to motivate you to provide them with financial and non-financial favors

Timewast er Type #4 Women who will flirt with you, and give you the misleading impression that they will possibly have sex with you, in order to motivate you to provide them with an “empathetic listening ear” when they are dejected, frustrated, and need to "vent" Hopefully, if you are a man who has “fallen victim” to one or more of these types of Timewasters, the remainder of this book will help enlighten you to many of their manipulative tactics, and help you avoid falling prey to their manipulative ways in the future. Continue reading my friend.

Chapter One Women who want you to become their personal “Ego & Self-Esteem Booster” If you are familiar with the “pick up artist industry” or what is also referred to as “the attraction & seduction community,” then you are probably aware that there are generally two primary philosophies that most dating coaches and seduction gurus teach and espouse: one concept is known as “The Direct Approach” and the other is known as “The Indirect Approach.” The Direct Approach: When you approach a woman and initiate a conversation with her, and by no later than roughly the five-minute mark of the conversation, you let that woman know exactly why you approached her, and why you ultimately want to share her company in the near or distant future. Mode One Behavior would be representative of a direct approach; The Indirect Approach: When you approach a woman and initiate a conversation with her, and you spend at least the first five-to-ten minutes, if not longer, engaging the woman in conversation that is generally cautious, polite, lighthearted, flattering and/or entertaining. Your main objective is to get the woman to “like” you and cause her to form a favorable opinion about you, before you introduce any hint of a romantic or sexual interest in her. What I refer to as Mode Two Behavior and Mode Three Behavior would be representative of an indirect approach; A lot of men who lean more toward the indirect approach will constantly try to convince me that women will perceive a direct approach as “too forward,” “too crass," "too provocative,” or “too logical” and in the long-run, women will have a negative and adverse reaction to such an approach, and end up rejecting me in a harsh and abrupt manner. One question that I tend to ask the men who sing the praises of an indirect approach is, “When you are indirect, how do you quickly and effectively identify women who are ‘attention whores’ and ‘cock teasers’?” More often than not, the men will go out of their way to avoid answering that question. A few others will offer a response along the lines of, “Well, if you start touching a woman - such as caressing her hand or arm - if she is just looking for flattering attention, she will pull her hand or arm away from you. That is called subcommunicating.” Yeah, right. These men are so naïve. Here is the deal: many times, I want a woman t o reject me in an abrupt and even harsh manner. To some men, particularly those who are dreadfully afraid of rejection or harsh criticism, that comment of mine will seem crazy. A woman who is a “Pretender” is nothing more than a woman who is really a “Reciprocator” who is trying her best to display the façade that she is “innocent,” “wholesome,” and “erotically conservative” or prudish. A woman who is a “Timewaster” is nothing more than a woman who is really a “Rejecter” who is trying to size a man up to see if she can take advantage of him in some sort of tangible or intangible manner. When interacting with women who are Timewasters, I want to get these women to quickly and fully acknowledge that they are really “Rejecters” in disguise. This is one of the reasons why I purposely employ a lot of XXX-rated language in many of my Mode One approaches with women. You see, XXX-rated language potentially kills two birds with one stone: On one end, if a woman is a “Pretender,” the erotically explicit language will assist you in breaking down a woman’s prudish façade; and if a woman is a “Timewaster,” the pornographic language will provoke her to reveal what she is really about, which is ultimately rejecting you and never allowing you to have sex with her. If a woman is not interested in having sex with me, I want to know that sooner rather than later. Matter of fact, if possible, I want to know that information within the first 5-10 minutes of my first conversation with a woman.

If you ask men, “What is the number one thing that you think women look to ‘use’ men for?” most of them will say, “money.” I would tend to disagree. Not only would I not rank money, materialistic gifts and general financial favors as the #1 thing of value that most women use men for, I would not even rank it #2. I would probably rank money, materialistic gifts, free meals, free movies, free concerts, and other similar favors of value t hird on my list of “things women use men for.” I have written some freelance dating and relationship articles for The Examiner.com, and one comment I have included in many of my articles that has been quoted and repeated a number of times by my readers and followers is this: “Women value receiving flat t ering at t ent ion and engaging in ent ert aining conversat ions wit h men in t he same manner t hat t he vast majorit y of men value receiving a great blowjob or handjob from a woman.” Some men and women laugh at the comment, but in all seriousness, that strong opinion of mine is very valid based on my own experiences and observations. I remember some years back, I used to ride a commuter train to Chicago from Northwest Indiana, and this one woman always chose to sit next to me. One time, she came and took a seat, and I was reading a newspaper. Within minutes, she became agitated. I asked, “What’s wrong with you? Everything okay?” At first she responded, “Nothing.” Then, she kept behaving more and more as if she was really irritated about something. So, I asked her again, "Is everything alright?" She said she was fine. Finally, she said, “Alan, I don’t like it when you sit next to me and don’t say anything. I hate when you are distracted by magazines or newspapers.” I was trippin’, because she was dead serious. Later in the conversation, she just flat-out confessed, “I hate to be ignored by men. If there are two things I cannot stand when I am around men, it is being completely ignored, and secondly, not having a man compliment me on an outfit that I think is pretty or sexy. That drives me crazy.” Now, at the time, the woman on the train was single, so I could halfway empathize with her frustration. Over the years though, I have even known women with husbands or boyfriends express the same type of egotistical frustrations. Women love at t ent ion and women love t o be flat t ered. If you do not remember anything else about women as a man, remember that women absolutely, positively love flattering attention. I have had many women openly admit to me that if they go more than three or four hours without receiving a flattering stare or a verbal compliment from a man, they become very irritated and frustrated. Have you ever had a male friend tell you that? I doubt it. Men do not live for "compliments." We want money and sex. In my own book of “subjective definitions,” there is a difference between an “attention lover,” an “attention seeker,” and an “attention whore.” I am not too critical of the first two, but I am very critical of the latter. An attention lover could be your favorite dog or cat, your brother or sister, your son or daughter, your boyfriend or girlfriend, or your husband or wife. Best example of an attention seeker would be someone pursuing a career in the Entertainment Industry, media, politics, or professional sports. For the purposes of this book, here is my own definition of an “at t ent ion whore”: any woman who uses her looks, sex appeal, and “feminine charms” to provoke a man into providing her with attention and/or companionship, but that same woman has never specifically or definitely indicated that she does, or does not, want to have sex with that man. For example, if you are a woman, and you are showing a man a photo of yourself with nothing on but a bra and a thong, but you are indefinitely being vague and ambiguous about whether or not you are going to eventually have sex with the man you are showing the photos to, then Yours Truly would categorize you as a top-notch “attention whore.” A more specific and more sexually provocative type of attention whore would be what men

generally refer to as a “cock teaser” or “dick teaser.” A cock teaser is a woman who specifically wants to provoke you to develop an erection, but she has no desire to help you relieve yourself of that erection. I will say this emphatically: I do not like at t ent ion whores and cock t easers. Some of my male friends have criticized me over the years because I rarely enjoy going to nightclubs or bars, and one of the main reasons why is because of those two types of women. At the risk of generalizing the clientele at most nightclubs in major cities, the vast majority of the nightclubs I have frequented were primarily filled with women who were attention whores and cock teasers. Men do not go to nightclubs to show off a new outfit. We go to get laid, unless we're married (and even married men go to nightclubs to hopefully "score"). Women rarely go to a nightclub to get laid. They go to show off a new outfit, a new hairstyle, or the fact that they have been working out in the gym and lost twenty or thirty pounds. The secondary group is married women or women with boyfriends just hanging out with their girlfriends to have fun, dance, and take advantage of men offering free drinks. That is not my scene at all. I actually go to nightclubs more when I have a girlfriend than I do when I am single and unattached. I will un-friend women on Facebook if they constantly try to send me photos of themselves in bikinis and lingerie on a daily or weekly basis. Some women reading this might say, “Wow .. that’s harsh Alan!” I un-friended a woman recently because of that type of behavior. My thing is this: If a woman and I are not going to end up in a relationship, or at least end up having casual sex, I have no desire to see her in her swimwear or underwear. Other than potentially causing me to have an erection, what do I get out of looking at those types of photos on a day-to-day basis? You can post those photos on your page, but do not send those via my Facebook inbox. I do not want to see them unless that woman and I are going to hook up in the near future. Men rarely want women to compliment them just for the sake of egotistical satisfaction. With most men, we want compliments from women that are going to lead to us dating those women or having sex with those women. Men rarely "seek out" compliments. We are appreciative when they come to us, but we do not post constant photos of ourselves in our boxer briefs just to get attention. Let’s put it like this: If someone told a single heterosexual man, “Sir, I want to put you in a hotel suite with ten beautiful, sexy women who want to compliment you on your eyes, your hair, your smile, and your overall physique, but I have to tell you this ahead of time … none of these women want to have sex with you in the near future. They just want to compliment your looks,” do you really think that man will be motivated to spend the next hour or two in that room with those women? I would argue that 90% of the men who were offered that opportunity would turn it down. On the other hand, I would almost guarantee you that if you offered that same scenario to a number of single heterosexual or bisexual women, the vast majority of them would agree to spend two hours or longer in that room with some highly flattering men. Again, women love to be flattered. I had a woman once tell me that "flattery is to my ego what oxygen is to my lungs." WOW. For some women, flattering attention is like crack cocaine for their ego. Now, if you spend a lot of time expressing compliments to women who have already made it clear that they have no interest in you romantically or sexually, I have no criticisms of those women whatsoever. All of my criticisms would be directed at you, the man. Why are you pouring on the flattery with a woman who 99.99% chance will not have sex with you? Stop that. Why are you on some woman’s Facebook page (who you have probably never met in person) an average of once per week, twice per week, three times per week or more for the primary purpose of telling her how “beautiful” she is, how “sexy” she is, and how “hot” you think she looks? Do you know how weak and fawning that makes you look?!? I mean, c'mon dude ... seriously. In recent years, as of the writing of this book, the new urban slang term for men who are extremely fawning and flattering with women is “thirsty.” I hate being around ‘thirsty’ men

when I am attending a party or social event. Guys like that literally irritate me. I hate even being at my local grocery store and listening to some man in his early-to-mid twenties telling a woman over and over and over again how beautiful and sexy she is. Instead, just tell that woman that you want to exchange orgasms with her, and see what she says. The worst she can say is, "I am not interested in having sex with you," and then you will not waste any more of your valuable time flattering a woman who will never have sex with you. If you are in a relationship with a woman, go ahead and flatter her. If you are currently having casual sex with a woman, or very much on the verge of doing so, go ahead and flatter that woman’s ego. But if a woman has never given you a specific indication that she is interested in you romantically and/or sexually? Do not waste time excessively flattering that woman’s ego. In the long run, you will regret it. Trust me. I try my best to only give women compliments that are directly related to a desired romantic or sexual action. For example, instead of telling a woman, “You have some nice lips,” I will offer a compliment more along the lines of, “You have some really nice lips. I can't wait to feel your lips when I kiss you…” If I really want to be provocative, I will say something like, “Wow. You have lips that are tailor made for blowjobs. I can’t wait to see those lips wrapped around my hard dick…” (For those readers whose eyebrows are raised right now - yes, I have actually expressed that comment to a number of women in my life). Again, the women who I am most critical of are not women who simply WANT attention and egotistical flattery from men, but more so, those women who are willing to “flirt” with a man, and give a man the misleading and indefinite impression that they “might just go ahead and have sex with him,” just so they can motivate that man to flatter them on a regular or semiregular basis indefinitely. If I had to give at least one example from my own life of a woman that would fall in this category, it would be a woman I met online in 2003. I will call this woman “Alexis.” Alexis was a woman who was attractive, with a high degree of sex appeal, and she knew it. At the time, I was posting on a message board on a site called AskMen.com, and all of the thirsty men on the message board used to drool whenever she posted a photo of herself in a bikini, sexy lingerie, or some other provocative outfit. If I started a discussion thread that attracted a lot of attention, Alexis would always write me a private message saying things like, “Good thread!!” or “I really enjoyed your last post!! You are an excellent writer Alan! I learn so much from you!!” Initially, I did not mind hearing from her. Weeks later, she started sending me nude and damn-near-nude photos of herself, and asking me for my opinion. “Do you think I look sexy in this photo Alan?” and other questions like that. My response would be, “When you get on the phone and play with yourself for me, then I will let you know what I think about your photos…” She would always write back, “You are so silly Alan! I love your personality!! You are so straightforward!! Maybe one day I will live out one of my sexual fantasies with you!!” See. She was savvy. Alexis did not say, “Yes, I definitely want to have phone sex with you,” but at the same time, she never said, “No Alan, I am not interested in having phone sex with you.” She played t he game. She remained vague and ambiguous. This is what all attention whores and cock teasers do. She continued sending me photos and later, she even started sending me erotic fantasy stories, and I finally had to let her know what’s up. I wrote her and said, “Look. You live in the Northwest region of the country, and I live in the Midwest, so you are not close enough for us to hook up and have sex. I already invited you to have phone sex with me, but you did nothing but give me vague, ambiguous responses. Please stop sending me photos of yourself. I have no interest in looking at them.” She later wrote me a response that was full of criticisms, insults and anger. I did not care. I was not going to continue to allow her to string me along by dangling t h e possibility of (phone) sex in the future as the proverbial “carrot on the stick” in order to motivate me to continue to giving her attention.

Guess who sent me a message just over two years later asking me can she call me? Yep. Alexis. Sure enough, we ended up having kinky phone sex for the next three or four months. Think about that. I had to ignore this woman for at least t wo years, if not slightly longer, before she finally gave in to my invitation to have phone sex. About a year after she and I stopped having phone sex, she told me she was engaged. Good for her. As you can see, Alexis ended up being more of a “Pretender” than a true “Timewaster,” but nonetheless, she was an attention whore. She loved showing off her body to men for the primary purpose of motivating them to provide her with regular or semi-regular egotistical flattery. This is why I feel most “indirect approach” methods are ineffective. The vast majority of indirect methods fail to help you identify, expose, and most importantly “weed out” women who are full-fledged attention whores and cock teasers. Attention whores will allow you to flatter them for fifteen minutes, thirty minutes, an hour, two hours, or longer. They love it. The more cock-teasing type attention whores will even let you cop a feel on their breasts or butt … hell, they might even allow you to tongue kiss them and make out with them for a little while … but at the end of the day, they are not going to engage in intercourse with you or give you a blowjob. Like all Timewasters, the number one tool of manipulation for an attention whore and cock teaser is to offer you the man the possibility of sex at some point in the near or distant future. The underlying attitude they have is, “If you’re a ‘good boy,’ and you do what I say, and act the way I want you to act, then I might just let you have sex with me at some point in the future! You might just catch me on the right day and get lucky!!” Yeah … right. You would think it would be the not-so-attractive women who would want to be flattered constantly to boost their self-esteem. Not so. Usually, it is the very attractive women with a high degree of sex appeal that need validation and egotistical flattery the most consistently. I remember in June 2010, I interviewed a relationship expert on my talk radio show by the name of Steve Penner. During the interview, Mr. Penner said that men are probably the most romantically and sexually frustrated between the ages of roughly 21 and 35. Why? Because most men in that age are not successful in their careers, and do not have much wealth or material possessions (unless they are a professional athlete or something), they are not able to attract a lot of women who may be looking for men who are more financially stable. He said women are probably the most romantically and sexually frustrated, assuming they are still single and unmarried, between the ages of roughly 45 and 59. Why? Because that is when the appeal of most women's looks and sex appeal drops the most significantly. Mr. Penner said the number one group of women who confessed to him that they were having the hardest time adjusting to getting older were those women who were “beauty queen” types and “sex symbol” types when they were younger. Penner said a lot of these types of women become profoundly depressed as they age. Why? Among other reasons and factors, they cannot handle the significant drop-off in flattery from men. I read an article where this woman, who as of the date of the article was 45 years of age, said that she was very egotistically frustrated as a result of getting older. She said when she was 25, men were always hitting on her for sex. The woman said when she was younger it actually irritated her to have so many men trying to get in her pants. Now that she was 45, she said she WISHED she had dozens of men trying to get in her pants on a weekly and monthly basis. Do not allow yourself as a man to become a woman’s “personal ego & self-esteem booster.” This is not a term I made up. I have actually heard women refer to some of their male platonic friends as their “personal ego boosters” or "personal self-esteem boosters." Some men consider strippers to be representative of “attention whores” and “cock teasers.” I do not 100% agree with that accusation. Strippers tend to assume that most men who frequent strip clubs know ahead of time that they are not going to get laid. What these

women do is offer men seductive “eye candy” and even provocative lap dances in exchange for a few dollars. I am not going to hate on a woman for that. If you are a woman, you stay in shape, and that is your hustle - more power to you. No one puts a gun to a man’s head and forces him to frequent a strip club on a weekly or monthly basis. If there is one group of women I do consider to be attention whores and cock teasers are women who want to pose nude in magazines such as Playboy™ or Penthouse™. If you are a woman, why would you want millions of men to see your naked body and specifically, your vagina, if you have no desire to have sex with 99.99% of these men? The only women who I would want to see a photo of my naked, erect penis would be women who I am interested in being in a romantic relationship with or women who I am interested in engaging in casual sex with. At bare minimum, I would only send photos of that nature to a woman I met via the Internet who lives in a different state or country who I am interested in having phone sex with. Plain and simple, men need to gain more control over their sexual urges. If you do your research on men who were top-notch street pimps in the 1960s, 1970s, and 1980s, just about all of them said the number one key to developing and maintaining the status of an effective pimp was that you cannot appear to be impatiently horny for sex in the company of women. I know it is easier said than done sometimes, especially if you are young and your hormones are raging, but you have to gain control over your libido. You take Robert Beck a.k.a. “Iceberg Slim.” Slim said that all of the whores in his stable were hornier for sex from him than vice versa. Slim said he rarely, if ever, allowed himself to appear as though he was impatient or overanxious to have sex with one of his whores. Many times, he refused to have sex with some of his whores. Some would have to pay him for sex. Street pimps were the original gigolos. Even if it has never been your ambition to be a street pimp with a stable of whores, you need to adopt that particular aspect of a pimp’s mentality. As I said in my Preface chapter: women are just as horny, if not many times hornier for sex than men are. No woman is going t o let you know she’s horny for sex if she observes t hat you seem t o be impat ient or desperat e for sex. In that situation, the woman is going to pretend like sex does not interest her. The more you get it ingrained in your mind that women want sex from men as much or more as men want sex from women, you slowly but surely begin to become more in control of your hormones and lustful desires. To wrap up, here are the common characteristics of an attention whore and/or cock teaser: · Anytime a woman expresses a desire to verbally flirt with you, but she never invites you or allows you to touch her body, 99.9% chance, that woman is an attention whore or cock teaser; · Anytime a woman initiates a sexually provocative conversation with you, or allows you to initiate a sexually provocative conversation with her, but again, she never allows you to get physical or sexual with her, 99.9% chance, that woman is an attention whore or cock teaser; · If the only time a woman seems to be enthusiastic about conversing with you (either in-person or over-the-phone) is when you are expressing compliments to her, but if you are not flattering her ego, she seems to be indifferent toward the idea of talking to you or sharing your company, 99.9% chance, that woman is an attention whore; · Anytime a woman sends you nude or partially nude photos of herself, but she never follows that up by allowing you to get physical or sexual with her, then that means this woman is definitely a cock teaser; · Anytime a woman allows you to touch her body in a provocative way (e.g., she allows you to squeeze her butt or breasts, she allows you to caress the inside of her thighs, etc.) or allows you to ‘make out’ with her, but she never invites you to have intercourse with her,

and she never offers you a blowjob or a handjob, then 99.99% chance, she is a cock teaser. In my next chapter, I will describe another type of “attention whore,” but what she is after is not simply flattery or attention. This type of Timewaster wants entertaining conversation and non-sexual social companionship whenever she is bored or lonely. Continue reading my friend.

Chapter T wo Women who want you to become their “Personal Entertainer” and/or “Platonic Boyfriend” In early 2012, I conversed with a woman who I will refer to as “Janice,” and we discussed the four categories of women that I outlined in my second paperback, Upfront and Straightforward. Initially she said, “Alan, I know I am going to disagree with at least one or two of your four categories. I already know I am.” Then, after I offered a brief description of a Reciprocator, a Rejecter, a Pretender, and a Timewaster, she started laughing, and said, “Oh my God!” I said, “What’s up?” She said, “All of your categories are on-point. I can’t even lie. I have fallen into each of those categories with different men over the past few years.” Then she giggled a bit more. I wanted to know in what instances had she felt she had been either a “Pretender” or a “Timewaster” with a man. Janice said, “I tend to behave like a Pretender when I meet a man who I want to be my next boyfriend, but he makes it clear that he is only looking for casual sex. At first, I will reject him, and I will pretend like I am totally not interested, but if he never gives me any indication that he will ever want more from me than just casual sex, usually, at some point, I will go ahead and give in to that man and allow him to have sex with me…” I have met many women over the years who have expressed comments similar to Janice when asked about being a Pretender. Janice continued, “I tend to behave like a Timewaster when I meet a man who I know right off the bat that I am not interested in being in a relationship with, and I know I have no interest in having casual sex with him, but at the same time, the guy is funny and has a great personality and a great sense of humor, or if it’s not his personality, I can tell he likes to spend money on women in order to impress them. That is when I will become a Timewaster. With a guy like that, I don’t want to reject him too quickly or tell him too straightforwardly that I will never have sex with him because at minimum, I want to keep him around as a platonic friend who will entertain me when I am bored.” Janice’s last comment describes the second type of Timewaster and attention whore you are likely to encounter. I have had some people (and particularly women) accuse me of being against the idea of men and women maintaining a platonic friendship with one another. That is so not t rue. If you are a man who is only interested in a woman platonically, and she feels the same way about you, then I have no criticisms whatsoever of you and that woman remaining platonic friends. Below are the two types of people who I am harshly critical of when it comes to the idea of maintaining a platonic friendship with a member of the opposite sex: 1. Men who initially, temporarily, or indefinitely “pretend” as though they are content with nothing more than a platonic friendship with a woman, when they know deep-down that they would rather be in a romantic relationship with that woman, or at minimum, they know they want to have casual sex with that woman. I find such behavior to be dishonest, disingenuous, misleading, and manipulative. I refer to this behavior as “FunClubbing”; 2. Women who know deep-down that a man who they are platonic friends with wants to date them or have sex with them, but instead of specifically and straightforwardly letting that man know that nothing sexual will ever happen between them, they string that guy along and use the possibility of sex in the near or distant future as a “carrot on the stick” in order to keep that man motivated to provide them with entertaining conversation and non-sexual social companionship. I have already discussed those men who fall into category #1 in previous books. Now, I am going to spend the remainder of this chapter discussing the women who fall into category #2.

I was a featured speaker for a men’s attraction and seduction conference entitled The Direct Dating Summit that was held in London, England in November 2010. At one point during the weekend conference, I shared the stage with the headline speaker, an attraction and seduction guru who resides in Canada who goes by the name “David X.” There were two women on the stage with David X and me, and one of the women, named “Sophie,” said (paraphrasing), “I don’t see the point of men approaching women and being verbally direct with their sexual desires and interests. As a woman, we all know that men want sex from us. That’s a given. That doesn’t need to be said. We already know what men want before they even open up their mouths.” I hear women offer comments like this all the time. Actually, t hey are smart and savvy for doing so. If you have thoroughly read this book thus far, and you continue reading this book, you will clearly underst and why (manipulative) women express comments like that. I then looked at the men in the audience with an expression of, “I bet you money that over the next few minutes, David or I are going to break her down and prove that what she just said was invalid bullcrap.” Many of the guys smirked and chuckled. Sure enough, about twenty minutes later or so, she ended up contradicting herself. Sophie began talking about this male friend of hers. She talked about how she loved hanging out with him and how she loved talking to him. Then, David X said to her, “Why are you stringing this guy along? Why are you using him?” Sophie pretended as if she was confused, as if she didn’t understand the question, or at minimum, did not agree with it. She responded, “How am I using him? He and I are just really good friends!” David X said (paraphrasing), “You said earlier that you know for a fact that when a man approaches you, he’s looking for sex, right?” Sophie nodded her head, “yes.” David X continued, “Then that means you know your male friend really wants sex from you. Why haven’t you told him specifically that you have no plans on having sex with him?” Sophie again began to behave as though she was confused, and even agitated by the question. I just looked at the men in the audience, and they all just started laughing. There are a few areas related to attraction and seduction advice where David X and I tend to disagree with each other philosophically, but if there is one area where David and I are in total agreement and think just alike, it is when it comes to women maintaining platonic friendships with men when they know deep-down that those men want to get in their pants. David X simply refers to women who fit this description as “bitches.” Again, I refer to them as “Timewasters,” and more specifically, "attention whores" and "cock teasers." I can think of at least a half dozen times in my life when I was guilty of “FunClubbing” with women, and consequently, I opened up the door for a woman to play head games with me and use me for personal entertainment and non-sexual social companionship. One woman I had this experience with I will refer to as “Raven.” Raven is a woman I met a few years back, and I was immediately smitten with her. She was attractive, sexy, and intelligent. One problem: Raven was not as attracted to me romantically and sexually as I was to her. At one point, I told her straightforwardly that I wanted her to be my long-term girlfriend, but she said for various reasons, she was not interested in the same thing. I was disappointed, and my feelings were a bit hurt, but I accepted her rejection. Now if I had been smart, I would have completely and indefinitely left her alone after she rejected me. In retrospect, I realize that is what I should have done. Instead, about six weeks or so after she rejected me, I chose to converse with her over-thephone after she sent me an email message inviting me to accompany her to some social function. I did not attend the event, but I spent over an hour on the phone cracking jokes and sharing entertaining stories about my life with her. I had her laughing hysterically practically the entire conversation. I have a background in comedy writing and stand-up, so if I say so myself, it has never been a challenge for me to get a woman to laugh.

Soon, she and I were conversing over-the-phone on a regular basis. I ended up moving to California and she was in Chicago, but we kept in touch. Soon after I moved to Los Angeles, she and I started having hot, kinky phone sex over-the-phone about two or three times per month. At first, I looked at that idea as a good thing. Then, a few months later, she entered into a long-term monogamous relationship with some guy she met. Next thing I know, she cuts off practically all communication with me. 90% of the time I called her, she would not return my phone calls. She would be slow to respond to my email messages. We stopped speaking for about four or five years, then later, after her and her boyfriend broke up ... she made efforts to reconnect with me again. She would always refer to us as being “good friends,” but the reality was, she did not really behave like a true “friend” at all. If a man or woman is your good friend, they will stay in communication with you regardless of if they are married, in a romantic relationship, or if they are single. I have a number of female friends who are married or in a relationship who remain in contact with me on a regular basis. The only time I heard from Raven was when she was single and unattached. If she was seeing someone, I would rarely if ever hear from her. She basically only called me for one of three reasons: · When she was bored and/or lonely, and she wanted me to entertain her and make her laugh; · When she was angry or frustrated about something to do with her job, or something to do with men who were not treating her right, and she wanted to “vent”; ·

When she was horny for phone sex.

If you know how I am, you can probably assume that I did not have a much of a problem with the latter of the three motivations, but over time, I became irritated by her first two motivations for calling me. Even though our “friendship” was long-distance, I still began to feel “used.” I will start by blaming myself. What I did was essentially “settle” for this disingenuous friendship that we were maintaining. I was "FunClubbing" with her. I indefinitely pretended like I was content with having her as just as “friend,” but the reality was, I wanted her to be my girlfriend … or at minimum, I wanted to have casual sex with her whenever she and I were in the same city, in addition to the phone sex we were already engaging in. I can’t really say she “played me” as much as I played myself. That being said, I do have some criticisms of her behavior as well. Raven knew I had both a romantic and sexual interest in her. She knew it. Yet, rarely would she specifically say, “Alan, you and I are never, ever going to date or have sex. I hope you understand that,” or something to that effect. The only time she was firm with me was if she had a boyfriend. If she was single at the time, she would never fully reciprocate my desires and interests … but she would never completely reject them either. She would do what all manipulative Timewasters do: she would converse with me using very fickle, vague and ambiguous language and phrases. Next to being flattered by men, I would argue that being ent ert ained by men is the second highest priority for women who are attention whores, cock teasers, and Timewasters. Both men and women hate to be bored for too long, and especially women. Statistics show that women watch more television than men and more movies than men. I want to say that they also listen to more music than men, but I do not know this for a fact. If you are a woman reading this, and you are the type that will make it specifically and straightforwardly clear to a man that all you want is a purely platonic friendship with him, and you have no intention whatsoever in engaging in any sort of sexual activity with your male “friend” at any point in time in the near or distant future, then I have no criticisms of you. You are keeping everything real and above board. Congratulations.

On the other hand, I have witnessed many women take advantage of men, and ‘use’ men for their charismatic and entertaining personalities, and take advantage of a man’s willingness to hang out with women socially on a regular or semi-regular basis in a purely platonic manner. Whenever I hear female friends of mine or female acquaintances of mine bragging on the number of male friends they have, and how many days per week or per month that they hang out with these male friends, I always ask them, “Do these men know that they are never going to end up having sex with you? Have you told them specifically and straightforwardly that you have no plans or intentions whatsoever in having sex with these men?” The vast majority of the time, I either receive no answer at all, or the answer is, “No, I have not told them that yet.” I had a woman in Chicago in 2007 bluntly admit to me that she dangles the possibility of sex in the near or distant future as a motivating “carrot on the stick” with her male friends. She said, “Alan, I enjoyed reading your book, Mode One, and I liked the fact that it encouraged men to express themselves in an honest and straightforward manner, but …” I interrupted her, and said, “But what . . .” She continued, “but your book let me know that you really don’t understand the inner workings of a woman’s mind.” I said, “explain what you mean.” She continued, “You see, most women know how to work their ‘feminine charms’ with men. Even with men we only want as platonic friends. I have men who loan me money when I am broke, who come to my house and fix things for free, and men who hang out with me socially when I am bored and want to get out of the house. Now, if I were to tell all of these men straightforwardly that I was never, ever going to have sex with them, do you really think they would keep doing favors for me?” I responded, “Of course not. That ’s my whole point in my Mode One book. You are misleading and manipulating these men.” The woman refused to acknowledge that what she was doing was ‘manipulating’ men and ‘using’ them. She referred to it as, “using the gifts that God gave me to my advantage.” It makes me laugh when I am around men who think they are fooling women and “getting over on” women when the reality is vice versa. Some men think that by ‘hiding,’ ‘denying,’ and/or ‘camouflaging’ their sexual desires, interests, and intentions with a woman, that this is going to allow THEM to gain and maintain the “upper hand.” They could not be more wrong. I recall in 2010, I had a man call into my talk radio show, and he expressed frustration about his interactions with a “female friend.” He went on to say that he felt like he had essentially allowed himself to become a woman’s “platonic boyfriend.” He said he was spending an average of fifteen-to-twenty hours per week with this one particular female friend, but she would never allow him to kiss her or have sex with her. He said he really began to feel angry and frustrated when he found out that this woman was having casual sex with another guy who was only investing about three or four hours per week with her. If you are a man reading this, t hink about t hat for a moment . You are spending fifteen-plus hours per week communicating with a woman, entertaining a woman, flattering a woman, and hanging out socially with a woman, but yet, your “return on time invested” is NOTHING. No tongue kiss, no blowjobs, no handjobs, and no intercourse. Another guy is investing only 2-3 hours per week, and he is tongue-kissing the woman, receiving blowjobs from the woman, and exchanging orgasms with the woman. Even former U.S. President George W. Bush would refer to that as "fuzzy math." If you read my first paperback, Mode One: Let the Women Know What You’re REALLY Thinking, you already know from reading the chapter on “Mode Four Behavior” that this type of scenario is what causes many men to transition from Mode Two Behavior and/or Mode Three Behavior to what I refer to as “The Mode Four Zone” (i.e., behavior toward women that is angry, frustrated, bitter, and misogynistic). In my Preface chapter, I discussed the idea of men interacting with women who are

practicing celibacy. Most men I know would have no problem spending ten hours per week, twelve hours per week, or fifteen or more hours per week with a woman who is not having sex with them, as long as they know that woman is not having sex wit h any ot her men. Things change very fast though when you are spending a lot of time with a woman and you are consciously aware of the fact that this woman is having sex with another guy on a regular basis. Especially if the woman is engaging in casual, non-relationship sex. Personally, I have experienced that situation more so from the other side of the coin (i.e., I was the guy having sex with the woman while another guy was spending time with that same woman, but not having sex with her). Particularly when I was in college. There were at least a handful of women in which probably forty-five out of every sixty minutes I spent with them, I spent with them having sex. These same women had other guys who were going to the movies with them, going bowling with them, going to parties with them, and they were not even making out with the women or getting laid. I felt bad for those guys. Here is the deal: A lot of women know that many of the men who they enjoy having sex with in a non-monogamous manner are not going to be “dependable” or willing to spend a lot of their free time with these women. Therefore, many of these women find other men to keep them busy and keep them entertained in between episodes of casual sex with the men who they really want to have sex with. If you have been “that guy,” that means you have been a woman’s “platonic boyfriend.” St op FunClubbin’ wit h women. Just stop it. You are making it very, very easy for women to suck you in as a platonic boyfriend and/or personal entertainer. In the same way that most women are very selective with what men they share their vaginas with, men need to be equally selective on what women they flatter and entertain. If more men were “stingy” with their flattering attention and entertaining conversations, you would see more women putting forth more effort to approach men and give in to men’s desires. Why do you think men who are “celebrity” types get so much play and attention from women? Most celebrities are very selective about who they allow to receive attention from them, and who they allow to share their company on a regular or semi-regular basis. On a quick side not e, I had one woman who was a public relations expert tell me, "Alan ... you will never become an A-list celebrity author or talk radio host..." I said, "Why not...." She said, "You're too friendly. I watch your behavior on Facebook and Twitter. You respond to just about everyone who asks you something or tells you something. No A-list celebrities do that. Do you think Will Smith would respond to everyone who asks him a question or offers a comment? Do you think Oprah Winfrey or Steve Harvey would ever respond to everyone on Twitter who offers a remark? You need to become more selective about whose questions and comments you respond to." For all I know, her wisdom might be on-point. I guess my weakness is, I love to help people, and I love discussing anything related to attraction, seduction, sex, dating, and relationships. If I start ignoring a lot of you on Facebook and Twitter in the upcoming months and years, and my level of fame begins to rise exponentially, then you will know that I finally decided to follow her advice. In the last chapter, I said more men need to emulate the mentality of a street pimp (i.e., quit acting so impatiently horny around women). In this chapter, my similar message would be learn t o become more inaccessible wit h women and more select ive wit h women as far as who you engage in regular or semi-regular ‘lengt hy ent ert aining conversat ions’ wit h and hang out wit h socially. If I want a woman to be a “true friend” of mine, then for starters, she cannot be prudish. I rarely, if ever maintain friendships with verbally prudish men, so why should I make exceptions for women? I do not like it when a woman claims to want to be my “good friend,” but then she will suggest to me that conversations that include highly provocative subject matter and/or erotically explicit language make her feel “uncomfortable.” No friendship with her! Think about all of your female “friends.” If they did not have breasts, and did not have a

vagina, would you still have the same interest and motivation to be their friend? If the answer is yes, then that means you truly treasure and appreciate that woman as a “good friend.” Your interests are genuine, and you should maintain that friendship. If the answer is “no,” or even, “I’m not sure,” then you are involved in a disingenuous friendship with that woman. I would argue that no less than half of the “friendships” between single men and single women in this country are insincere. I only have about four or five women who I consider to be very close platonic friends of mine who I would be willing to converse with or interact with on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis. The type of women that if they suddenly lost their breasts and magically grew a penis I would still want to remain friends with them. Just about all the rest of the women I know, I would potentially have sex with them if given the opportunity. And most of them know it . It is my belief that there are t hree areas of your life that contribute the most significantly to your level of happiness: 1. Your degree of career success and/or financial stability and self-sufficiency; 2. How healthy you feel mentally, emotionally, and physically, and how sexually desirable and attractive you feel 3. How enjoyable and satisfying your love life is, your sex life is, and your overall social life and personal life is For me, I use these three areas to contribute to my decision to either a) continue a friendship; b) end a friendship, or c) re-evaluate the benefits and detriments of that friendship. This goes for both my male friends and female friends. For example, when thinking of my friendship with “Michelle,” I will ask myself these questions: Has my friendship with Michelle directly or indirectly helped me improve my career and/or helped me become more financially stable and self-sufficient? If the answer is “yes,” then I will continue that friendship. If the answer is “no,” then I will seriously consider ending that friendship. If the answer is “maybe, but not sure,” then I will re-evaluate the pros and cons of that friendship; Has my friendship with Michelle directly or indirectly inspired me to improve my eating habits and exercise habits, and helped keep me motivated to maintain a high degree of emphasis on good health? If the answer is “yes,” then I will continue that friendship. If the answer is “no,” then I will seriously consider ending that friendship. If the answer is “maybe, but not sure,” then I will re-evaluate the pros and cons of that friendship; Has my friendship with Michelle directly or indirectly helped enhance my love life, my sex life, and/or my overall level of social enjoyment? If the answer is “yes,” then I will continue that friendship. If the answer is “no,” then I will seriously consider ending that friendship. If the answer is “maybe, but not sure,” then I will re-evaluate the pros and cons of that friendship; Some may disagree with this manner of evaluating friendships, but I firmly believe that if my friendship with a man or woman is not benefiting me in at least one of those three areas, then there is at least a fifty-percent chance or greater that I am going to either end that friendship, or at minimum, I am going to significantly cut back on the level of frequency of our interactions. Ideally, if a friend is helping to enhance in my life in one or more of those three areas, then I feel I should be doing the same thing for them in one or more of those same three areas as well. Just about every "friend" who I can think of, who I communicate with and interact with on a day-to-day, week-to-week, or month-to-month basis contributes to my life in one or more of

those three areas. My point is that I do not believe you should maintain friendships with people, and particularly members of the opposite sex, for the primary purpose of simply receiving flattering attention from them, engaging in entertaining conversations with them, or for the purpose of leaning on them for financial and non-financial “favors.” That leads to a very shallow and superficial friendship in the long-run. There are many men and women who use the term “friend” and the term “friendship” very, very loosely, and I for one do not like it. I take friendship very seriously. As a man, when you evaluate your current friendships with women, can you honestly say that these women have your best interests at heart? Do they really help lift your spirits up when you are down? Do they always have your back in times of crisis or controversy? As a man, you should never allow yourself to refer to a woman as a “true friend” if the only time you hear from that woman is when she is bored, lonely, and simply wants to be flattered by you, entertained by you, or borrow money. If you are interested in a woman romantically or sexually, you need to let that woman know that in a very confident , upfront , and st raight forwardly honest manner. This way, you will quickly and effectively “weed out” the women who are just looking to waste your time (and money) in the long-run. .Let the “indirect approach” guys fall into the trap of becoming a woman’s personal entertainer and platonic boyfriend. Men who believe that being “indirect” is better than being “direct” will find themselves investing a lot of time and money pursuing women who really have no genuine interest in them romantically or sexually. Poor guys.

To wrap up, here are the common characteristics of women who are looking to recruit you to become their “personal entertainer” and/or “platonic boyfriend”: · Anytime a woman repeatedly tells you that you have a “great personality” or a “great sense of humor,” but this woman never allows you to get physical or sexual with her, that means this woman is only interested in sharing your company for the sake of being “entertained”; · Anytime a woman regularly allows you to discuss sexually provocative subject matter with her, but she never allows you to become physical or sexual with her, this woman is only looking to engage in her version of a “platonic friendship,” even if she does not make that specifically clear to you; · Anytime a woman tells you that she does not want to have sex with you because she wants to “take time to get to know you,” but you never feel that your interactions with that woman are actually progressing toward a romantic or sexual relationship, 99% chance, you are being “used” my friend. Especially if you find out that another man had sex with this same woman within a day or two, or a week or two after he first made her acquaintance. So much for making men wait to "get to know her"; · Anytime a woman only gets in contact with you when she is bored, lonely, or inbetween relationships, but you never hear from her otherwise, you are being ‘used’ as a “platonic boyfriend” and “personal entertainer”; In my next chapter, I will describe the third type of Timewaster, which is a woman who is somewhat similar to the women described in Chapter One and Chapter Two, but yet, they are a little bit different. These women are not so much interested in flattery or being entertained ... but rather, they want a man they can engage in gossip with and a man who is willing to listen to them "whine and complain" when things are going wrong with the men who they are really interested in having sex with. In a nutshell, these women want you to become a "male girlfriend" and/or an "empathetic listening ear." Continue reading my friend.

Chapter T hree Women who want you to become their “Gossip Buddy” and provide them with an "Empathetic Listening Ear" This chapter is going to be somewhat of a continuation of Chapter Two, because it also centers on men who make the mistake of “FunClubbing” with women, and this chapter will also further discuss the women who bait men into having lengthy conversations with them that will never directly lead to having sex. The difference between the type of Timewaster I am about to describe, and the women who I described in Chapter One and Chapter Two, is that these women are not necessarily looking to engage in conversations that are flattering, flirtatious, lighthearted and/or entertaining in nature. This Timewaster type is more so looking for a man who she can share juicy gossip with about her friends, her co-workers, her neighbors, or even her own family members. She is also looking for a man who is willing to listen to her 'vent' about her disappointments, her problems, and her frustrations, particularly as it relates to her interactions with men who she recently dated or had sex with. In essence, she is looking for a man to become a combination of a “gossip buddy” and a "male girlfriend with a dependable and empathetic listening ear." I have had a number of male friends of mine who have allowed themselves to fall into this category with a woman, including myself a few times. Even if a man and a woman have mutually agreed that their relationship with each other is going to be purely platonic, I still have criticisms of a man allowing himself to become a woman's "gossip buddy" and/or "male girlfriend." There is just something inherently "unmanly" about both roles. I am particularly critical of this scenario when the man involved really has romantic feelings or a strong sexual attraction for the woman, but she is ‘using’ the man primarily in a self-serving manner rather than a mutually beneficial manner. I can name at least two male clients that I had in London that got caught up in this situation. One guy had “settled” for being a woman’s platonic friend even though he had a strong desire to be in a romantic relationship with the woman. He told me that no less than three out of every five conversations he had with his so-called “female friend,” the woman would always talk about her frustrations with other men’s behavior who she was recently involved in a longterm or short-term sexual relationship with. Another guy from The United Kingdom had a similar situation, only his situation involved as many as three women. He had allowed himself to become a “play brother” to his “female friends,” but deep-down, he wanted to have casual sex with all three of the women, or at least, one or two of the three. Instead of experiencing orgasmic pleasure with these women, he ended up listening to their stories of disappointment, hurt feelings, and frustration about other men who these three women had been in a long-term romantic relationship with or had short-term casual sex with. As far as I am concerned, you are allowing a woman to “psychologically emasculate you” without consciously realizing it when you allow a woman to treat you like a “male girlfriend” who is interested in her gossip and/or interested in listening to her “vent” about her frustrations with other men who she has had sex with. Please grab your testicles right now and make sure they are intact. What I told both of my British male clients was to become extremely hardline toward women who attempt to bait them into becoming a gossip buddy or an empathetic listening ear. I told them to tell these women that they have no desire to listen to the women talk about other men who enjoyed the pleasure of having their penises in those women’s mouths and/or

vaginas. If a woman is an ex-girlfriend of mine or a former casual lover of mine, and I have already had sex with her, then yes ... I might allow her to get away with a handful of conversations that involve trivial gossip. Also, if a woman and I have a mutually platonic friendship. Generally speaking, I do not like gossip. I do not care what John did with Cathy, and what Leon did with Tanisha. If it does not relate to my books, my talk radio show, or something to do with my life, or something to do with the life of the person I am conversing with, I could care less. If I am conversing with a woman who I want to have sex with, but I have not had sex with her yet, that is when I am very hardline about not engaging in gossip, or not allowing a woman to talk about another man who she has recently had sex with. If you are not planning on having sex with me, I do not want to hear stories about who you recently had sex with or who you are about to have sex with. Why would I want to listen to that? Many women want to have at least one or two male friends of theirs who will validate their criticisms of men. For example, if a woman feels like “all men are dogs,” it does not make their criticism feel valid if only their girlfriends agree with that criticism. They want at least one (heterosexual) male to agree with that criticism. If they feel like “all men are selfish and egotistical,” then they want at least one or two men they know to co-sign with that accusation. This makes them feel better about their opinions. I know many women who would not be happy if they did not have the opportunity to “whine and complain” about the various aspects of men’s behavior (in fairness, some men are the same way toward women). The truth is, some women are simply spoiled, and naively believe that most men are going to do everything in their power to please and accommodate them. The reality is, many women lose interest in a man who behaves exactly the way the women want them to behave. I told some of the guys who attended The Direct Dating Summit USA that was held in Las Vegas in March 2012 this very thing. Many women will say, “I want a good guy. A guy who respects me, and is good to me.” A few women actually mean it when they offer that comment, but a number of other women do not. I have witnessed a number of women get hold of a ‘good’ man, and totally dog him out and mistreat him. The problem, as I see it, is that many of the men who are highly respectful to women, pleasant in nature, polite, and accommodating to women are not perceived as enough of a “challenge” to a woman’s ego. One thing a man will learn about women is that many of them love to date and have sex with men who they perceive as a strong challenge to their ego. Similarly, there are some women who will meet a man who they totally love and adore in a non-sexual manner, but sexually, that man just doesn’t “cut the mustard” (i.e., he does not please them and satisfy them in bed). Quite a few times I have heard women say, “I really loved his intelligence and his sense of humor, but sexually, he bored me to death.” On the opposite end, a woman could meet a man who she thinks has a less-than-desirable personality, but if that man can rock her world in the bedroom, there is a very good chance that she is going to connect with him. This is why you have so many men asking, “Why is that beautiful woman with that guy? He is a jerk! He is an asshole!” Well, I hate to break this to the men, but that so-called “jerk” is handling his business in bed. Here is how the process of a woman gaining a new “male girlfriend” and/or “empathetic listening ear” goes down: 1. A woman will either get dumped by her former husband or ex-boyfriend who she still really cares about -or- a woman will get dogged out by a former casual sex lover who she really enjoyed having sex with and was hoping to get upgraded to “girlfriend” status;

2. The woman first will seek empathy and agreement to her criticisms of these men’s behavior from her sister(s), female cousins, or closest girlfriends; 3. Then later, as I mentioned earlier, she will identify at least one or two of her male platonic friends (or more appropriately, men who are pretending to be content with nothing more than a platonic friendship, but really these men want to get in her pants) to validate her harsh criticisms of her ex-husband, her ex-boyfriend, or her former “sex buddy.” 4. Because the man is guilty of “FunClubbing” with this woman, he falls right into this woman’s trap. Within a matter of days, the man has for all practical purposes been indoctrinated as this woman’s “male girlfriend.” She will then begin to share trivial gossip with him, entertaining stories about her boss who she perceives as an “asshole” (man) or a “bitch” (woman), and she will constantly express frustrations about the various aspects of men’s behavior in which she does not care for. The longer you, as a man, allow yourself to listen to women ranting and venting about other men, the more you will solidify your status of remaining in a woman’s dreaded “Friend Zone.” This is why I told my two clients in London to stop playing the role of the “male girlfriend” immediat ely. I told both of my clients to look those women directly in their eyes, and say with confidence and conviction, “I have no fucking desire to hear you talk about other men whose cocks have been in your mouth or vagina. I want to be the man who is able to insert my own cock into your mouth or vagina. If we can’t make that happen, this friendship must end, and it must end within the next few days.” Both men initially were reluctant to follow my advice. Days later, they agreed to follow my advice. Sure enough, both clients experienced success in the long-run. With one client, his one female friend initially had a very angry, negative reaction to his comments, but he held his ground. Approximately one week later, the woman called him and apologized. She admitted that it was probably irritating for her to be constantly talking to my male client about other men who she wanted to have sex with and/or had recently had sex with. He then apologized to her for “hiding” the fact that he was really attracted to her romantically. Days later, they made out and started doing what men and women were put on earth to do. The other male client of mine ended up writing me and saying, “Alan … you are a genius!!” He told me that he ended up making out with two of his three “female friends,” and at the time he had sent me the email message, he had already had sex with one of the three. Similar to the other client, he said initially the women had an adverse response to his hardline comments because they were on the verge of establishing him as their permanent “play brother,” but later the women relented. I will say this ad nauseum: I do not believe in playing the role of the “play brother” with a woman that I know deep-down I want to be in a romantic relationship with or that I know deepdown that I want to have casual sex with. If you, as a man, know that your interest in a woman is strictly, 100% platonic, then go ahead and be a “play brother” to that woman. But if you are lying to yourself and being phony with that woman, you are going to feel very angry, frustrated, and bitter later on. If you have not been forthright with women about your true romantic and/or sexual desires, interests, and intentions, then you cannot validly say that women who treat you like a “male girlfriend” are ‘using’ you or manipulating you. You are playing yourself. That being said, there are situations where even if a woman knows that you are interested in sharing her company in a romantic or sexual manner, she will still try her best to recruit you to be her “empathetic listening ear.” Remember the woman I mentioned in the last chapter … Raven? Raven did that with me. Even when she knew I wanted to date her, she would call me

to either vent about work-related problems or express frustrations about other men. Consequently, she and I fell out with each other over a dozen times. The times when I was lenient with her, of course she loved talking to me. When I was more hardline about not playing the role “male platonic friend who wants to listen to her talk about her problems and frustrations,” she got mad at me. Some women do a “bait and switch” with men. I have approached women with a romantic or sexual interest, and that woman will say, “Well, I need for you to get to know me.” I have asked many women, “What does that mean?” and most of the time, even they cannot give me a specific, detailed definition or description of that over-used phrase. If “getting to know a woman” translates into me temporarily becoming a woman’s “play brother” or “empathetic listening ear,” no thank you. I am not interested (especially if my interest is primarily casual sex). I had a woman say at the Relationship Chat in Chicago, “Even when my only interest is casual sex, I still want a man to treat me like I am special and take time to get to know me.” What does that REALLY mean? I have never heard a man express to me that he needed to “get to know a woman” before having sex with her. Particularly, casual sex. With casual sex, I only want to know three things: 1) Are you free-spirited and uninhibited in bed? 2) Are you free of any sexually transmitted diseases? and 3) Are you cool and content with short-term, non-monogamous sex? (i.e., are you going to avoid “stalking” me later or avoid trying to persuade me to engage in a more longterm, monogamous relationship with you?) That ’s it . Even when I am looking at a woman as a potential long-term girlfriend or future wife, I still would argue that I do not really need to “get to know her” prior to having sex. If my interest is in having a more long-term, monogamous sexual relationship with a woman, most of the aspects of her behavior that I want to examine more thoroughly are those that are totally unrelated to sexual enjoyment and satisfaction. For example, if I am interested in having children with a woman, is she going to be a good mother to my children? Can I trust this woman in my house or apartment by herself? Is this woman an honest person or a dishonest person? Is she good with money or does she spend money like it grows on trees? Does she like the same television shows and movies that I do? Can she handle the fact that I sometimes snore? Does she love chicken wings and Peach Snapple®? In a nutshell, 90% of the reason I want to “get to know a woman” is related to the time I plan on spending with that woman non-sexually rather than sexually. I believe the vast majority of men think like me. We do not need to spend weeks, months, or years “getting to know a woman” to determine if we will enjoy ourselves in bed with a woman. I can think of instances where I have made a woman’s acquaintance for the first time on a Friday at 10:00pm, and was engaging in intercourse with that same woman as early as 10:25pm or 10:30pm, and no later than 11:30pm or 12 Midnight. What does that tell you? Some women use t hat phrase simply because it sounds good. It makes many women feel like they are presenting themselves as more of a “respectable lady” as opposed to a ‘tramp’, a ‘ho,’ or a ‘slut.’ I do not concern myself with such highly subjective labels and perceptions. Either I will enjoy having sex with a woman, or I will not. Either a woman will enjoy having sex with me, or she will not. At any given moment, I either want long-term sex or short-term sex. Similarly, at any given moment in time, I either want monogamous sex or non-monogamous sex. Beyond that, I could care less about “labels,” insults, and name-calling. Bottom line, as a man, do not allow women to use that “you need to get to know me first before we have sex” as a subtle manipulative tool for them to recruit you as a male platonic friend who they can gossip with, talk about trivial stuff going on in their life with, and use you to validate the criticisms they have of other men’s behavior.

Listening to a woman talk about how much her boss gets on her nerves is not helping me get to know her. Listening to a woman gossiping about her co-worker’s affair with her exboyfriend is not helping me get to know her. I want to know about the woman’s personality, moral character, and integrity. And as far as the comment the woman made at the Relationship Chat in Chicago about wanting to be treated “special” even when she wants nothing more than casual sex with a man is a goofy comment to make in my opinion. The main reason why men elevate and upgrade a woman from the status of “friendly acquaintance” or “casual lover” to “girlfriend” and potentially “wife” is because they have a strong desire to treat that woman “special.” As one quote goes, “If you treat everyone you know like they are a special, then no one you know is really special.” I am not saying that if a woman is not your long-term girlfriend or wife, then this means you should treat a woman like crap and blatantly disrespect her as a human being. I am not suggesting that at all. But I am not going to treat a woman who I am engaging in a one-night stand, weekend fling, or other variation of casual sex as if she is my exclusive girlfriend. With the title of “girlfriend” comes perks and privileges. For example, when a girlfriend calls me, I call her right back. That is not guaranteed with a casual lover. I will ‘wine and dine’ a longterm girlfriend of mine. A casual lover of mine probably will not receive a free meal at the finest restaurants on my behalf. A girlfriend will receive a Valentine’s Day card. A casual lover will not. So on and so on. I do not wish to mislead women, string women along, or play head games with women. Once you start treating a casual “sex buddy” like a long-term girlfriend, she begins to develop strong emotional feelings for you. Then, if you never upgrade her to the status of “girlfriend,” she feels hurt and betrayed. To wrap up, here are the common characteristics of women who are looking to recruit you to become their “male girlfriend” and/or “empathetic listening ear”: · Anytime a woman primarily calls you when she either wants to engage in gossip, or express her frustrations about other men who she has recently dated or had sex with, that means this woman is interested in treating you like an “empathetic listening ear” and “gossip buddy”; · Anytime a woman invites you to hang out with her and her girlfriends, and you are the only male present, and the primary conversation centers on criticizing various aspects of men’s behavior or vilifying men who are womanizers, that means that this woman views you as her “male girlfriend”; · Anytime a woman knows for a fact that you have a romantic and/or sexual interest in her, but she makes a big deal out of telling you that you need to take time to “get to know her,” but then, most of her subsequent conversations center on gossip, what she dislikes about men, or trivial but entertaining stories about her life’s experiences, that means this woman is more-than-likely trying to run a “bait-and-switch” technique on you. She is giving you the misleading impression that there will be the possibility of sex at some point in the future, but in reality, she wants you as nothing more than a conversation partner and a “play brother”; In my next chapter, I will describe the fourth and final type of Timewaster, which is a woman who uses the possibility of sex in the future as a means of attracting financial and nonfinancial favors from men. Continue reading my friend.

Chapter Four Women who want you to become their "Platonic Sugar Daddy” and help them out whenever they need a favor Here are some of the various reasons why many men are willing to pay women money, “wine and dine” women, offer women materialistic gifts, and/or perform general financial-related favors for women in exchange for sex: · You do not believe that a woman who you are interested in having sex with finds you attractive or sexually appealing; Therefore, you feel you have to offer the woman a “monetary incentive” in order to motivate her to agree to have sex with you; · You feel like you are ‘in competition’ with many other men for a particular woman’s attention and sexual companionship; Therefore, you feel you have to be perceived as the “highest bidder” for the exclusive rights to that woman’s sexual companionship for a number of hours, days, weeks, months, or longer; · You are married or already romantically involved, but you desire to have another woman as a ‘mistress’ or a ‘woman-on-the-side; You want to motivate her to “keep quiet” about your undercover sexual relationship, so you feel like you must pay her a ‘fee’ or ‘stipend’ to keep your trysts discreet; · You have already been having sex with a woman, and she is totally obedient, submissive, and accommodating to your sexual desires, needs, and preferences; Therefore, you want to offer her a “reward” and token of your appreciation to keep her motivated to remain your beck-and-call lover indefinitely; There might be two or three other reasons and motivations why men offer women “incentives” and “rewards” in exchange for sexual enjoyment and satisfaction, but I would rank what I listed as arguably the Top Four. In this chapter, I am going to primarily concentrate on examining the first two motivations. I have respect for women who value their attention and companionship. Many men criticize confident women as being “stuck up” or “arrogant,” but I give kudos to women who maintain a high degree of self-confidence and self-esteem. I find that a number of people in society tend to become jealous and resentful toward those who exhibit a significantly higher degree of self-assurance and a higher degree of value for what they have to offer than themselves. This is why so many men and women who are popular and successful tend to attract a lot of envious critics or “haters” in society. I do not “hate on” women who carry themselves as if their sexual companionship is worth thousands of dollars. I have a degree in Economics, so I am well aware that the basis for anything of value is supply and demand. The more men you have competing with one another for a woman’s attention and romantic or sexual companionship, the more those men increase the perceived ‘social market value’ of that woman’s companionship. If you are a man reading this right now, close your eyes for a moment, and pretend you are an attractive woman with a high degree of sex appeal. Pretend as though you have dozens, if not hundreds of men expressing a desire to share your company in a romantic and/or sexual manner. Be honest with yourself: Wouldn’t you be tempted to “take advantage” of some of the men who are offering to pay your car note, pay your rent or mortgage, or offering you an employment opportunity that will pay you a high five-figure or six-figure salary? Tempting, isn’t it? Good looks + sex appeal = a good number of opportunities for “favors” to take advantage from men.

Before you criticize women for what you perceive as “shallow” and “materialistic” behavior, you need to first evaluate the behavior of your fellow man. You have to ask, “What enjoyment and satisfaction do men experience from having sex with a woman in a situation where they had to pay that woman for her time and companionship?” Think about all of the services you pay for. You pay to see a physician. You pay to see a dentist. You pay to get your car fixed. Hell, men pay money to even hear me t alk and give t hem advice about how to approach women, initiate a conversation with women, and ultimately attract and seduce those women. I say, if a man feels as though it is worth it for him to pay a woman to have sex with him (either directly with cash, or indirectly via “favors”), then more power to him, and more power to her. Real t alk. Here is where I have a problem with members of both genders when it comes to financial favors and sex: it’s one thing to offer a woman compensation for actually having sex with you, but it is a totally different scenario when you are offering women financial favors in exchange for nothing more than the possibility of sex in the near or distant future. I am not the biggest fan of scenario #1, but I am definitely harshly critical of scenario #2. It’s one thing to pay for sex, but to offer a woman money for a non-guaranteed opportunity of sex? Oh, hell no. Sounds crazy doesn’t it? Well, I hate to break this to you, but many naïve and impatiently horny men commit this act of stupidity on a yearly, monthly, and even weekly basis. I remember watching an episode of a crime drama on television, and on this particular episode, a married guy who had a stripper as a mistress was accused of killing his wife. In one scene, the detective is absorbing the stripper’s apartment, and paying attention to how many nice materialistic items she is in possession of. She also is driving a very expensive sports car. The detective made a comment along the lines of, “I see that it pays to have a long-lasting affair with a man with means.” The stripper smirks and stares at the detective, and then offered the comment, “Affair? I guess. If that’s what you want to call it.” The detective is surprised. He said, “Well, he is married, right? If you two were having sex behind his wife’s back, I would very much call that an ‘affair’.” Then, the stripper replied with a comment that contributed to both the title and major theme of this book. She said, “Detective, you seem like a smart man, but your perceptions in this case are very wrong. You see, what many women in my line of work don’t realize is that with a lot of men, you can get more from them by teasing them with the possibility of sex than you can by actually having sex with them.” The detective had an expression of “Well, I’ll be damned.” He could not believe that the married guy would buy this woman all of those nice materialistic gifts without actually having sex with the stripper. You know who was not surprised? Me. I have seen this type of scenario happen many times in real life, which is exactly why I decided to write this book. I have observed a good number of men be guilty of exhibiting the same behavior as that fictional married man on that television show did. When I was employed at a couple of the major movie studios in California, I worked with some women who were drop-dead gorgeous and super sexy. These women would choose to share details from their personal lives with me all the time because they grew to feel comfortable around me. These women would tell me about how they would play 'head games' with men and manipulate men regularly for financial and non-financial “favors.” Some of these women would tell me stories about how men would not only buy them materialistic gifts such as jewelry and clothes, but some of these gullible men would offer to pay the women's car note for a number of months, or pay their rent or mortgage for a number of months, in t he hope of gaining t he possibilit y t o have sex with them.

I interviewed a woman on my talk radio show who wrote a book that teaches women how to become an effective gold digger, and take advantage of men financially. Her main advice was, “you should never actually have sex with men in exchange for money or financial favors. That would make you a whore. (and she’s right; most dictionaries specifically define a ‘whore’ as a woman who exchanges sex for money) What you want to do is give a man the subtle impression that you MIGHT have sex with him at some point in the future, but you never want to promise him that or guarantee that. Just offer a subtle hint that he MIGHT get ‘lucky’ one day soon and end up having sex with you….” That particular female author says in her book that one guy spent as much as $2,000.00 wort h buying her expensive clothes because she gave this man the subtle, misleading impression that "one day soon" he was going to gain the opportunity to have sex with her. End the end, t his man did not even get as much as a t ongue kiss from her. See, that is the difference between what many refer to as a “trick” and a “sucka.” In the world of prostitution and urban interactions between men and women, a ‘trick’ is a man who actually pays a woman money for the opportunity to have sex with her. A ‘sucka’ is a man who spends money on women simply with the hope that he might one day gain the opportunity to have sex with a woman of interest, but in the long-run, this man not only never ends up having sex with the woman, but more often than not, he does not even end up tongue kissing the woman or making out with the woman. Women who are what I refer to as "manipulative favor-seekers" do not exchange sex for money. The women who do that are primarily street prostitutes, professional Call Girls, upscale Erotic Escorts, and seasoned, savvy gold diggers (who I will talk about in more detail in Chapter Five). Again, women who are manipulative favor-seekers offer men nothing more than the possibility of sex in exchange for money, materialistic gifts, free meals, and other “favors” of value to them. I will confess: I have been guilty of being somewhat of a ‘sucka’ a few times in my adult life. Never on a major scale (such as offering to pay a woman’s rent or car note), but on a minor scale, yes. The best example for me would be treating a woman to dinner and a movie with the hope and confident expectation that I was going to be able to persuade that woman to agree to have sex with me as the night was drawing to a close. Sometimes, I genuinely enjoy having dinner with a woman and viewing a movie with a woman. I went to see two low-budget independent films in Chicago in 2012 with a good female friend of mine named Kylana primarily because she is just as much of a "movie buff" as I am (To say I love movies would be a gross understatement; I even recommend some movie titles at the end of this book that I feel are relevant to the themes I discuss in this book). When I was younger though, many times I would treat a woman to dinner and a movie just to get laid. If I was successful, of course, I felt great at the end of the night. If I failed to seduce that woman into having sex with me, I would go home feeling agitated, frustrated, and regretful. I would generally feel like I wasted time and money for nothing. A lot of men can relate to me because realistically, this is a common M.O. of a lot of young, horny men. I talked about these type of scenarios in my chapter about “Mode Two Behavior” in my first paperback, Mode One. The key to preventing yourself from falling into the category of a ‘sucka’ is to always express your sexual desires, interests, and intentions to women in a Mode One manner. As a man, you want to always force a woman to give you one of two responses: 1) “Yes, I am definitely interested in having sex with you,” or 2) “No, I am definitely not interested in having sex with you.” The primary basis behind The Mode One Approach is to always put a woman in a position where she has to either specifically and straightforwardly reciprocat e your sexual desires and interests -or- she has to specifically and straightforwardly reject your sexual desires and interests.

The problem with men who highly favor "the indirect approach" is that those types of men cannot egotistically handle abrupt rejection. Men who favor the indirect approach would rather roll the dice, and run the risk of potentially ending up as a 'sucka' than to experience rejection from a woman within the first five minutes of their first conversation with a woman. When you put a woman in a position where she has to give you a specific, definite and straightforward “yes” or a specific, definite and straightforward “no,” you prevent that woman from "teasing" you and manipulating you with nothing more than “the possibilit y of sex.” Not all “favors” that women receive from men are in the form of money, materialistic gifts, or free meals. Sometimes, it might be a man fixing something that was wrong with her car for free. Other times, it might be a man coming over and helping that woman clean her house, lift something heavy, or mow her lawn. A man might teach a woman a new skill, such as how to use a computer or her new Smartphone. There are a number of financial and non-financial “favors” that men frequently perform for women. The problem is not so much in WHAT a man does for women as much as it is in WHY the man is doing it. Again, If a man treats a woman to dinner and a night at the movies because he genuinely has a desire to have some female company while filling up his stomach and watching a movie, there is nothing wrong with that. It is when a man starts offering to perform financial and non-financial favors for women with the specific, underlying desire, interest and intention of getting into a woman’s pants that makes a man become guilty of being manipulative, and even more importantly, t he man opens t he door of opport unit y for women t o manipulat e him. This was one of my top two, top three major points in my book, Mode One. Manipulat ion is always a t wo-way st reet . Always. You cannot manipulate a member of the opposite sex without also opening the door for a member of the opposite sex to manipulate you. Think of manipulation literally like opening the door to your house or apartment. If you open the door to exit, you are also opening the door for someone else to enter. After reading this chapter, and the previous chapters, are you slowly but surely starting to realize why many women, and particularly women with highly manipulative intentions, tend to have an adverse reaction to men who express a desire for sex in an upfront, specific, unapologetic, and straight-to-the-point manner? If it was not clear before, it should be becoming real clear after reading this book. I will never forget the one time in 1990 when I went to visit a female friend of mine in Chicago. One afternoon, I happened to be in this particular friend's neighborhood, so I decided to stop by her place unannounced. My friend’s roommate answered the door, and let me know that my friend was not there. She offered to let me in though, and said my friend would be returning in approximately thirty to forty-five minutes. This was my first time making the acquaintance of my friend's roommate, and I will acknowledge that she was quite attractive and sexy. When she first came to the door, she had on a form-fitting t-shirt and short, tight gym shorts. About five minutes later, all she had on was a shower towel. She said, “I hope you don’t mind, but I am about to take a shower.” I said, “Okay.” Then, I started reading a number of different magazines that were on the living room table. Next thing I know, she kept going in the bathroom … and then coming out. In … and out. In … and out. At one point, she even acted like her towel “accidentally” dropped. For at least a few seconds, I saw her in her very lovely birthday suit. Minutes later, she kept making attempts to engage me in entertaining “small talk” and “chit chat.” Finally, I had enough. I boldly said, “Are we fucking before I leave here today?” She looked totally surprised and caught off guard by my question. First she giggled, and then seconds later, she acted as though she was partially offended by my question. She said, “No!!! I don’t even know you!!! I just met you Alan!!! Why would you even think for a second that I would allow you to have sex

with me?!?” I replied, “Well if you have no desire or intention to have sex with me, why don’t you quit parading back and forth in front of me with just your towel on. I have no desire to look at your naked body if you and I are not going to be having sex. So ... why don’t you just go in the bathroom, take your shower, and leave me alone and let me read this magazine.” She could not believe I said what I said. She sat quietly for a few seconds, and then she got up and went into the bathroom. A couple of minutes later, she came back out (yet again). She said, “I hate men like you.” I chuckled and said, “Why do you 'hate' men like me?” She said, “Because you are too straightforward about your desire for sex. I hate that.” Then, she went on to offer a comment that I have never, ever forgotten. Only a few women I have had conversations with have been totally forthright and honest about their desire to mislead and manipulate men. My friend’s roommate on that day was probably the first. She said, “When a man is as straightforward as you are, you take away all the fun in flirting with a man for a woman like me.” Deep-down, I knew where she was going with this, but I wanted to hear her out. I asked, “What do you mean by ‘I take away all of your fun’?” She said, “What I mean is, by being straightforward the way you are, you take away all of my manipulative power. I’m the type of woman that likes to toy with men a bit. Tease men. Play with their heads for a while. But when a man is straightforward in the way that you are, you put a woman like me in a position where I have to either immediately let you know I want to have sex with you, or I have to immediately rebuff you, and I don’t like that. I don’t like that at all.” This woman’s comments were, in my opinion, representative of how all women who are "Pretenders" and "Timewasters" think. This is why all women who are attention whores, cock teasers, favor-seekers, and overall Timewaster types despise and often criticize and insult men who exhibit Mode One Behavior toward them. A lot of women who will say that Mode One Behavior is "too forward" or "socially inappropriate" or is representative of "objectifying women" are not being truthful. The real reason why the vast majority of 'Pretender' types and 'Timewaster' types have an adverse reaction to a direct approach is because they feel just like my female friend's roommate felt. They do not want to relinquish their manipulative power too quickly, if at all. As a man, you cannot be afraid to introduce the subject of sex into a first conversation with a woman. Sex is as natural of a desire for men and women as the desire to eat food or breathe in oxygen. Another reason why many (manipulative) women behave as though they are “insulted” by a man's erotically explicit candor is because they are egotistically frustrated that you as a (horny) man are refusing to offer them anything of value in exchange for simply t he possibilit y of having sex with them.

Most manipulative women not only want to be offered something of value in exchange for their romantic and sexual attention and companionship, but they confidently expect men to offer them something. At minimum, they expect you to offer to treat them to some free alcoholic drinks at a bar or nightclub, or a lunch meal or dinner meal, and maybe a movie. At maximum, they expect you to offer them a better lifestyle, or assistance in paying their bills. At bare minimum, they expect you to excessively flatter them or engage them in lengthy and entertaining conversations. The more a man gives a woman the impression that he is incredibly horny and impatient for sex, the more a woman is going to believe that she can manipulate him, and motivate him to offer her something of tangible or intangible value. This is why I said the second most important personality quality a man can possess next to a high degree of self-confidence is pat ience and control over his hormones and lustful desires. If you are a man reading this, let me ask you something. Do you think you are a reasonably handsome man? If your answer is “no” or “not really,” why not?

Do you think you have a personality that other people would be drawn to? A personality that would bore people? A personality that would repel people or irritate people? Do you think you could please and satisfy a woman sexually with your penis on a regular or semi-regular basis? If your answer is “no” or “not really,” why not? Do you think you could please a woman’s vagina, and bring her to orgasm with one or more of your fingers? Do you think you could please a woman’s vagina, and bring her to orgasm with your mouth, lips, and tongue? If your answer is “no” or “not really,” why not? If you currently feel like you have to pay women money for sex, or offer women financial favors in exchange for their sexual companionship, why do you think you feel that is necessary? How long have you felt this way? When you express excessive compliments to women, do you feel that your flattery will help you earn some “brownie points” with women that will increase your chances of exchanging orgasms with them? Do you believe that women are more motivated to have sex with the guys who flatter their egos the most as opposed to the guys who rarely, if ever flatter their egos? Would you take time to repeatedly and excessively compliment a woman on her face, her body, and her personality if she told you upfront that she was never, ever going to have sex with you? Why or why not? Do you believe that women choose to have sex with the guys who have the best sense of humor and funniest stories? Do you believe that men who are stand-up comedians have sex with more women than men who are singers, musicians, or athletes? Why or why not? Do you believe that it is impossible to have sex with women while only engaging in a onetime five or ten-minute conversation with them? If your answer is “yes,” why do you feel that way? Do you think the only way a man can have sex with a woman is to engage her in a very lengthy, very informative, and very entertaining conversation? If your answer is “yes,” why do you feel that way? Do you believe that discussing the subject of sex with a woman is “inappropriate?” Do you feel that it is “disrespectful” to let a woman know that she attracts you in a sexual manner? Do you think it is “rude” to let a woman know that you would like to have sex with her at some point in the near or distant future? Particularly if your interest is primarily “casual” sex? Do you believe that each and every woman who compliments you and categorizes you as a “nice guy” or a “gentleman” is ultimately going to agree to have sex with you? If every woman in society only chose to have sex with men who exhibited behavior that was pleasant, polite, well-mannered, considerate, cooperative, and financially generous, then why do men always witness or hear rumors about women having sex with men who exhibit behavior that is crass, brazen, selfish, egotistical, inconsiderate, socially inappropriate, and/or cheap? In other words, do men who get complimented the most by women always end up attracting and seducing more women than the men who get criticized the most by women? When you compliment a woman excessively, and you end up getting rejected and not having sex with that woman, do you find yourself regretting how much flattery you expressed to that woman? Why or why not? When you engage in a number of lengthy conversations with a woman, but later on you end up getting rejected and failing to have sex with that woman, do you find yourself regretting the amount of time you invested in those entertaining conversations with that woman? Why or why not? And most importantly, as it relates to the main topic of this particular chapter, when you spend money on women, buy women materialistic gifts, and/or agree to perform various financial and non-financial “favors” for women, and you never end up having sex with those women who you were generous with, do you find yourself feeling bitter, frustrated, and/or

regretful later on? Why or why not? You do not need to answer those questions for my knowledge. You need to answer those questions for yourself. I would say as soon as you are finished reading this book in its entirety, the first thing you should do is answer those questions. I will tell you this about myself: anyt ime I have done anyt hing wit h a woman, or for a woman, wit h t he specific underlying objective of getting laid - and I did not end up having sex wit h t hat woman - I ended up feeling angry, frust rat ed, and regret ful lat er on. For example, anytime I have flattered a woman specifically for the sake of motivating that woman to have sex with me, and I failed to have sex with that woman, I felt pissed off about it later on. Anytime I have engaged in a number of lengthy conversations with a woman, with the primary objective of entertaining that woman so she would feel more inclined to have sex with me – but I failed to have sex with that woman – later on, I felt pissed off about how much time I invested interacting with that woman. Anytime I have ‘wined and dined’ a woman, bought a woman a gift, and generally provided a woman with a number of financial and non-financial favors with the specific underlying motive of motivating her to have sex with me – and in the long-run, I never ended up having sex with that woman – later on, I felt angry, bitter, frustrated, and regretful. Thankfully, I do not engage in such behavior any longer. I have been tempted here and there over the last 15-20 years or so, but I rarely give in. If I know for a fact that the main thing I want from a woman is sex, and more specifically, “casual” sex, then I simply tell her that. Usually by no later than the end of my first face-to-face or over-the-phone conversation with her. I feel like I have too much character and too much integrity to be expressing a high number of “pleasant lies” to women and/or engaging in a high number of manipulative “head games” with women in order to get laid. The way I see it, either a woman genuinely wants to have sex with me or she does not. If the woman does not have a genuine interest in having sex with me, I simply want her to let me know that as quickly and straightforwardly as possible so that I do not waste valuable time conversing with her anymore, socializing with her anymore, or pursuing her as a sex partner any longer. Just remember: it’s bad enough to have to pay for a woman’s sexual companionship, but if you are going to go ahead and do so, at least make sure that you are act ually going t o end up having sex wit h t he woman. Put bluntly, I would rather you allow yourself to behave a like a ‘trick’ than a ‘sucka.’ At least if you end up being a ‘trick,’ you will have one or two orgasms. Being a ‘sucka’ just leaves you feeling angry, frustrated, and resentful toward women. Next thing you know, you become a full-blown misogynist (i.e., a man who hates women). Let me begin to conclude Part One of this book by breaking down the four general "nonsexual" sit uat ions you end up experiencing with women. 1) If you are interacting with a woman, and you know for a fact that you have nothing more than a platonic interest in that woman, and she feels the exact same way toward you, you have the makings for an indefinite and genuine plat onic friendship with that woman; 2) If you are interacting with a woman, and she has made it clear that she wants nothing more than a platonic friendship with you, and you temporarily or indefinitely "pretend" that you are fine and content with a platonic friendship, but deep-down, you want a series of

interactions that are romantic and/or sexual in nature, then you are FunClubbing; 3) If you are interacting with a woman, and she starts off giving you an indication that she has a romantic or sexual interest in you, but then days, weeks, or months later, she "changes her mind" and starts exhibiting behavior toward you that is more platonic in nature, and you do not challenge this or refuse to tolerate this, then you are allowing yourself to be placed in a woman's Friend Zone; 4) Finally, if you are interested in a romantic or sexual relationship with a woman, but you are allowing that woman to respond to your desires and interests in a manner that is vague and ambiguous, where she is neither reciprocating your desires and interests, nor is she rejecting your desires and interests, and furthermore, you are allowing yourself to flatter this woman, entertain this woman, be a "gossip buddy" or a "male girlfriend" to this woman, or you consistently offer this woman financial and non-financial "favors" ... but at the end of the day, you never end up having sex with this woman .... sadly my friend, that means you are a 'sucka,' and you just got played. Or more appropriately, you played yourself. To wrap up, here are the common characteristics of women who are looking to “sell” men who are flirtatious and horny on the idea of the possibility of sex in the near or distant future: · Anytime a woman gives you the disingenuous impression that if you ‘wine and dine’ her, and perform favors for her, that she will be more likely to have sex with you, this woman is looking to mislead you and manipulate you; · Anytime a woman only calls you or invites you to hang out with her socially is when she needs a “favor,” but any other time, you rarely hear from her, that means this woman is running game on you; · Anytime a woman attempts to make you feel “guilty,” “apologetic,” and/or “defensive” for expressing your sexual desires, interests, and intentions to her in an upfront and straightforwardly honest manner, be wary. Nine times out of ten, that woman is a “Pretender” or a “Timewaster.” She is looking to have you flatter her, engage her in lengthy entertaining conversations, and looking to have you spend money on her without her feeling obligated to have sex with you in return. Don’t fall for the “all men want is sex” trap. Women bank on you becoming apologetic and/or defensive in response them trying to make you feel guilty for emphasizing your desire for sex too quickly or too straightforwardly; This concludes Part One of t he book. In Part Two, I am going to discuss five types of women who will actually agree to have sex with you (if only reluctantly), but for various reasons, I will outline why you still should avoid these very flawed women. Continue reading my friend.

PART T WO NO GOOD WOMEN: These Women May Agree to Have Sex with You, but in the Long-Run, They Should Still be Avoided In Part One, I discussed and focused on women who do not have a genuine interest in having sex with a man, but they will give that man the misleading impression that he at least has the possibility of sex on the table in order to motivate him to provide them with flattering attention, engage in entertaining conversations them and provide them with non-sexual social companionship, be enthusiastically willing to be a dependable “empathetic listening ear,” or last but not least, provide financial and non-financial favors to these women regularly. The main point of Part One is to emphasize that there many single heterosexual men in society who are naive, gullible, inexperienced with women and/or so impatiently horny for longterm or short-term sex that they tend to allow themselves to become susceptible to the flirtatious and subtle manipulative tendencies of an attention whore, a cock teaser, a manipulative favor-seeker, or any other type of "Timewaster" in general. Now I turn my attention to a different group of women. This second group of women are women who, on the positive end, will act ually have sex wit h a man. These women may hold out on having sex with a man for a few hours, a few days, a few weeks, or even a few months, but eventually, they will agree to have sex with that man. How long will they have sex with a man? How frequently will they have sex with a man? How genuinely enthusiastic will these women be about having sex with a man? Those are the important questions regarding this second group of women that I am about to describe in detail in the next five chapters. All of the women who I am going to discuss have at least one major flaw in their personality, their mental and emotional well-being, their moral character, and their overall sense of integrity. If you as a man decide to enter into a long-term monogamous relationship with a woman who exhibits one or more of the traits I will describe, nine times out of ten, you are going to eventually want out of that relationship, and you are going to regret that you ever entered into that relationship or marriage in the first place. There have been a number of “celebrity marriages” that ended in divorce less than a year after the couple got married. Why does this happen? Among other reasons, these ultra-quick divorces take place because the man pursued the woman primarily because of her looks and sex appeal, and the woman married the man primarily because he was wealthy, famous, had a great job, or at minimum, he was skilled in bed. I am going to use the next five chapters to essentially "warn" men who are either already married or romantically involved, or other men who are on the verge of entering into a relationship, some of the behavioral characteristics that many women possess that will inevitably lead to arguments, animosity, drama, and the ultimate end of the marriage or relationship. Here is a quick capsule of each of the five types of women that I feel men should take time to evaluate and examine their behavior very closely and meticulously, and be keenly perceptive and wary of their tendencies: Woman t o Avoid #1 Women who are very seasoned, savvy gold diggers; Woman t o Avoid #2 Women who will try to “steal a man away” from his wife or long-term girlfriend

Woman t o Avoid #3 Women who are major “drama queens” who love to nag men and argue with men for no valid or productive reason Woman t o Avoid #4 Women who deep-down are “misandrists” (i.e., a woman who generally despises men and takes advantage of each and every opportunity she is given by weak men who knowingly or unintentionally allow themselves to be disrespected and "psychologically emasculated" by this type of woman), or at minimum, women who want to "wear the pants" in a relationship and control each and every aspect of any romantic relationship with a man they involve themselves in Woman t o Avoid #5 Women who are pathologically dishonest and/or disloyal, or at bare minimum are very, very "fickle" with their desires, interests, and emotions, and will cheat on their boyfriend or husband behind his back in a heartbeat Read each chapter coming up very carefully. With each of these women, everything will seem fine in the early stages of your relationship or marriages with them, but once you get comfortable and complacent, all hell will break loose. Continue reading my friend.

Chapter Five

I Just Want Your Money: The Seasoned, Savvy Gold Digger If you just completed reading Chapter Four, you might be tempted to say to yourself, “Didn’t we just cover women who want money from men? How is the information in this chapter going to be any different?” The women I described in Chapter Four were what I refer to as “manipulative favorseekers.” Those women are primarily looking for a free lunch, a free dinner, a free movie, a free concert ticket, etc. Low-scale stuff. Secondly, those women have no intention of actually having sex with a man. A woman who is a true, top-notch gold digger is a different breed my friend. Trust me on this. Most men, realistically, do not even encounter true gold diggers because they are not earning enough money. Women who are true gold diggers could care less about a “free lunch.” These women want to own t he rest aurant . Men who are billionaires, multi-millionaires, and millionaires attract top-tier gold diggers. If you are earning mid-to-high six figures, you also might attract a few gold diggers. If you are earning less than $250,000 per year, you are probably attracting what I refer to as “secondtier” gold diggers. Some men will call a woman a “gold digger” simply because they heard that woman tell a girlfriend that she wants to only date men who earn $75,000 per year or more. My question to the men is, before you start labeling that woman a ‘gold digger,’ do you know how much money that woman earns per year? If a woman is earning $90,000 per year herself, and she is looking for a man who is earning anywhere from $75,000 per year to as much as $125,000 per year, t hat is not a gold digger. That is a woman who is looking for a man who is on her level. I do not hate on women in this category. A gold digger is a woman who has no real skills, no real talents, a minimum level of education, and is earning an average to less-than-average salary – or no salary at all – but she has her eyes clearly set on men who will offer to totally upgrade her entire lifestyle. For example, a former stripper who hooks up with a millionaire, and now she never has to work another day in her life. That, my friend, is a gold digger. Unlike the manipulative favor-seekers, gold diggers have no problem having sex with the men they target. More often than not, they will avoid having sex with their targets too quickly, but eventually, they will indeed have sex with their chosen men. What is funny to me is that a lot of men will criticize women for being gold diggers, but yet many of these same men will aspire to drive an expensive luxury automobile or sports car while residing in an expensive mansion-style home. Get real. If what you advertise to women is, “I want to attract you with my level of wealth, my material possessions, and my degree of career success,” what type of women do you really think are going to be drawn to you? Women looking for men with a “good heart” and a “great sense of humor?” Get real fellas. Many women need to “get real” too. The main women who tend to have what it takes to attract very wealthy men are women who are young, beautiful, sexy, and extremely feminine. Some delusional women think they can be in their forties or fifties, be sixty pounds overweight, and possess the not-so-feminine demeanor of a prototypical dominatrix, and still somehow attract the attention of a man with means. Riiiiiiiight. Let me know when your alarm clock starts working again.

The term “unattractive gold digger” is an oxymoron. Men are visual creatures. Most men love seductive “eye candy.” Many wealthy men simply want a woman who is great to look at every day, a woman who will please them and satisfy them sexually, and will never cause them any stress or drama. And these men are willing to offer women who fit the bill an upscale, carefree lifestyle as an "incentive" and “reward.” Now, if you are a man who acknowledges that you do not mind being a woman’s “Sugar Daddy,” and you are consciously aware of the fact that each and every woman who flirts with you and shows interest in you is looking for a man with means, then you will have no problems. You are operating in reality. The men I am offering advice to are men who are a) earning a six-figure, seven-figure, or eight-figure income, and b) looking for a romantic companion who has a genuine interest in them as a person rather than simply a "Sugar Daddy." I met a man in London who organizes men's events, and he said there are literally dozens of millionaire bachelors who fit this description who live in Switzerland. At the time, he actually wanted me to do a speaking engagement in front of these types. Did you see the romantic comedy Coming to America, starring box-office movie star Eddie Murphy? Murphy’s character was a wealthy African prince who was looking for a woman who would truly love him for him, and not for his wealth. So, what did he do? He initially pretended like he was poor. I have heard stories of wealthy men in real life who have exhibited strategies similar to Murphy's fictional character of "Prince Akeem." Now, if you are well-known and powerful like someone such as wealthy business owner Donald Trump, you would never be able to “pretend” like you are poor. A man like Trump would always just have to rely on his intuition and keen sense of body language perception in order to quickly identify shallow gold digger types. We all know from celebrity divorces that wealth and fame does not necessarily attract genuine or quality spouses. Many Hollywood celebrities and professional athletes end up divorcing women rather quickly after realizing that the woman who they thought loved them genuinely was really just another groupie and gold digger in disguise. The best way for a wealthy man to meet a woman with no underlying motives is to either a) connect with a woman who already has her own degree of wealth, or b) connect with a woman before you actually accumulate a lot of wealth. Entertainer Bill Cosby connected with his wife before he was rich, and he and his wife Camille are still married to this day. Same with Denzel Washington and his wife Pauletta. Pauletta Washington was with Denzel when he was collecting unemployment checks. Many men would not have achieved the level of career success and financial success they have today if it were not for their wives. Do you think President Barack Obama would have achieved the success he did without his wife Michelle? I don’t think so. This is the type of woman men should be pursuing. A woman who is going to keep you inspired and motivated to be all that you can be. Not a woman who is looking to take, take, take from you. When a woman has truly supported you as a wife or companion, and your career and financial success improved dramatically during your relationship with that woman, then she deserves to have her lifestyle upgraded, and she deserves to be treated like a queen. If I met a woman today that caused me to improve my level of career success and financial success, to the point where five or ten years into our relationship I am now a multi-millionaire, then she can have "half of my stuff" if we ever ended up in divorce court. She earned it. Hopefully, if I met a woman that helped me reach that level of success, we would be so in love that we would remain married until one of us is six feet under. The type of women a wealthy man needs to watch out for are these two types: 1) the type

of woman that over a period of months and/or years is going to end up decreasing your level of net worth instead of contributing to your net worth increasing; and 2) women who are ‘using’ you for the sole and specific purpose of improving their own life, and will dump you eventually for a man who is just as wealthy as you, if not wealthier. I have read stories of men who initially had a great career and their earning potential was steadily increasing, but then that man hooked up with “Her.” Three years later, five years later, or ten years later, that man was unemployed, bankrupt, and damn near homeless … all because of the selfishness, greed, and negative influence of “Her.” If you are with a woman, and no matter how many cars you buy her, no matter how many clothes you purchase for her, and no matter how much money you put in her bank account, she never seems to be satisfied … let her go. I do not care how gorgeous she is or how satisfying of a lover she is in bed, let her go. Trust me. That woman has a long-term plan and strategy, and it does not include you. After she gets bored with you and your five million dollar per year salary, she is going to soon set her sights on another millionaire who is earning ten or twenty million dollars per year. Ask yourself: Does this woman have any real substance? Or is she just a drop-dead gorgeous “trophy” on your arm? Am I with this woman because she is the first beautiful, sexy woman I have ever had access to? Does this woman seem a wee bit too flirtatious when she is around my other wealthy male friends and acquaintances? On the flip side, in my best attempt to remain objective, can you blame some of these gold digger types? I remember when I was in my twenties, an older gentleman once said to me, “Son … do you know who the most powerful group of people are on earth?” I replied, “World leaders and politicians?” He said, “Nope.” I replied again with, “Wealthy business owners? Founders of the world’s wealthiest banks?” He said, “Nope.” Not willing to guess anymore, I said, “Okay, I give up. Who?” He smiled and then lightheartedly said, “Any woman who is so beautiful and so sexy that just about every man she meets would be willing to pay her huge amounts of money for just one or two nights in bed with her. Wealthy, powerful men will pay big bucks for the best piece of ass they feel money can buy.” Most wealthy men snatch up exquisitely beautiful and extraordinarily sexy women real early. I am talking, eighteen years of age, twenty-one years of age or twenty-five years of age. Gold diggers do not get snatched up at the age of forty-five or fifty. Once more, if you are living in that delusional world, let me know when your alarm clock starts working again. If you are a woman, and you have men constantly competing with one another for your attention and romantic or sexual companionship, of course you are going to feel tempted to “sell” the exclusive rights to your sexual companionship to the "highest bidder." If you owned a classic automobile that all of your male friends and neighbors wanted to own and drive, would you just give that car away? 99.9% chance, no. You would sell it to the highest bidder. Remember … economics baby. Supply and demand. You know the saying: don’t hate the player, hate the game. The thing many of these women do not realize is that money rarely fills the void of unhappiness. If wealth was the number one key to happiness and peace of mind, there would never be a history of a wealthy person committing suicide or becoming an alcoholic or drug user. Yes, money allows you to pay off your bills without worry (assuming that you are living within your means), and it allows you to pay for products and services that would not be able to pay for if you were poor, but there is more to true happiness than wealth. One thing men need to learn is a woman’s signs of genuine sexual interest. If you are a wealthy man, and you have to practically “beg” your wife or girlfriend for sex, then something is wrong. You will never have t o beg a woman for sex if t hat woman really enjoys having sex wit h you. I have known and heard about women who married wealthy men, and then only had sex with

those men maybe once or twice per month. I once had a woman I was having sex with in California who was engaged (I did not even know she was engaged until after we had already had sex two or three times). I asked her point blank, “If you are engaged, why are you having sex with me?” She said “My fiancé is wealthy, but he is boring in bed. He and I have sex no more than once every two weeks if he's lucky.” (I will speak more to this scenario in Chapter Nine, when I discuss women who are liars and cheaters) If you read my other book, Oooooh . . . Say it Again: Mastering the Fine Art of Verbal Seduction and Aural Sex, you will learn how to master the art of recognizing a lot of women’s overt and subtle body language signals. A man who is keenly perceptive of women’s body language rarely gets taken advantage of or duped by insincere, manipulative women. A woman may be able to fool you once or twice with feigned body language signs of genuine interest, but any more than that … shame on you. You should propose marriage to a woman for reasons that go beyond a highly appealing exterior and the potential for pleasurable orgasms. Discuss a woman’s history before she met you and started dating you. Ask her specifically about what type of men she dated in the past. Ask her what are some of her favorite hobbies. Ask her about her future goals, objectives and ambitions. Ask her about her relationship with her parents, her siblings and her close friends. Find out what type of spiritual core this woman has. How has she treated people in the past that had nothing of tangible value to offer her? On your end, do not think because you are earning a six figure, seven figure, or eight figure salary that this means you have a license to treat this woman like crap and cheat on her with any other woman you want? I sincerely hope that is not your intention. One word: Karma. Actually, some seasoned, savvy gold diggers bank on that character flaw in a man. They will purposely wait for you to cheat, cheat, cheat and cheat some more, and then bam! They file divorce papers on you. They already have a plan on how they are going to use the wealth they will earn from their divorce settlement with you. Do not marry a good looking, sexy woman simply because you do not want her having sex with any other man. That is your testosterone-fueled ego talking to you. Your confidence toward women and your self-esteem should be based on far more than what you have to offer women financially and materialistically. If your level of wealth is what most of your self esteem is based on, then you are going to always feel egotistically insecure when you are around men who are earning much more money than you. And you definitely are going to feel insecure when your lady friend is in the company of flirtatious men who are far wealthier than you. Your degree of career success, wealth, and material trappings should be the frosting on the cake for the women you attract rather than the cake itself. Please do not allow your heart to be broken because some woman who you thought really loved you in an honest and genuine manner has now run off with your buddy from the local country club who has more cars, more houses, and more yachts than you do. To wrap up, here are the common characteristics and early, detectable signs of women who are more-than-likely seasoned, savvy gold digger types: · Anytime a woman converses with you in a manner where she is always emphasizing money, material possessions, nice homes, and nice cars, this should let you know that upgrading her lifestyle via a romantic companion is a high priority for her. Nine times out of ten, you are conversing with a gold digger type; · Anytime a woman has a history of living in nice homes, driving nice cars, and wearing expensive clothes, but she has never had a long-term career in her life or never inherited any money, nine times out of ten, you are interacting with a gold digger type; · Anytime a woman only allows men who are wealthy to flirt with her and share her company romantically, but you notice that she treats men who are earning an average income almost like they are not even worthy of being in her company, nine times out of ten, you are interacting with a gold digger type;

· Anytime a woman will tell you that she loves you and cares for you, and finds you attractive and sexy, but you notice that you almost have to “beg” her to have sex with you, nine times out of ten, you are dealing with a gold digger type; In my next chapter, I am going to discuss women who attempt to “steal a good man away” from his wife or long-term girlfriend. This woman will gladly have sex with you, but having sex with this woman should not be a desire of yours in the first place. Continue reading my friend.

Chapter Six

Man Thieves: Women who will try to “steal a good man away” from his wife or long-term girlfriend I wish I had just $1.00 for each time a woman has asked me, “Why do men cheat?” I have always maintained that the better and more appropriate question is, “Why do men with promiscuous tendencies tend to indefinitely give women the misleading impression that they are monogamy-minded?” One reason and response I will offer to women is that women make it so easy for men t o cheat on t heir wives and girlfriends. Do you know that I have had more women aggressively offer me opportunities to have sex with them during a period of time when I was romantically involved with someone than I have during a period of time where I was single and unattached? Seriously. That is a damn shame. Many of my male friends have told me that they have experienced the same thing with women. I know some men who told me that once women found out that they were engaged or married, that these women started making very aggressive sexual advances toward them. Many women’s underlying attitude is, “If this man is so good and satisfying in bed, then why is he single and unattached? Why doesn’t he have a wife, a girlfriend, or at least a harem of available casual sex partners?” This is why many times, women do not offer a man sex as much when they are single as they do when that man as a wife, a girlfriend, or a variety of different (casual) sex partners. Think of legendary professional golfer Tiger Woods. People always ask, “Why did he cheat on his beautiful wife?” My secondary question would be, “Why did all of those women agree to have sex with Tiger when they knew he was married?” Famous comedian Chris Rock once had a funny bit where he said, “When men tell other men that they have a great woman, their male friends will say, ‘I want a woman LIKE that’; When women tell other women that they have a good man, their female friends will say, ‘I want HIM’!” Why do so many women flirt with men, and offer sex to men, who are already married or romantically involved with another woman? One reason is that men who are very sexually content and satisfied are very appealing to a lot of women. Many women find men like this to be an exciting and intriguing “challenge” to their egos. I have said repeatedly in this book: Men who come across as impatient, desperate, or overanxious for sex tend to be a turn-off for many women. One term that many dating coaches and seduction gurus use with their clients to describe men who are already being sexually satisfied by one or more women is “pre-screened.” When women know that you are currently pleasing and satisfying one or more women sexually, they tend to feel very confident that you will please and satisfy them sexually too. One of the comments I made in Oooooh . . . Say it Again was, “pussy at t ract s (more) pussy.” Some men laugh at the comment, and some women make faces in response to that comment, but among men, that is a long-standing, very valid belief. It is similar to the belief that if you already have wealth, other people will constantly offer you and new and different opportunities to increase your wealth. I know men who actually have benefitted from what some men refer to as “referral sex.” Referral sex is when a man has sex with “Linda,” and then Linda "kisses and tells" with her two girlfriends, “Tanya” and “Rebecca.” Linda will tell Tanya and Rebecca how kinky the man is, how long and/or how thick his penis his, how much stamina he has, and how talented he is at

how long and/or how thick his penis his, how much stamina he has, and how talented he is at oral sex ... and bam! Next thing you know, Tanya and Rebecca are offering Linda's sex partner or boyfriend the opportunity to have sex with them as well. (Lesson to women: Do not "kiss and tell" when you have a husband or boyfriend that is satisfying you in bed! More than likely, your big mouth will come back to haunt you) I will be honest: I do not particularly care for a woman “kissing and telling” about my personal business and the details of my sex life, but if there is one situation where I do not mind that happening is if a woman is singing the praises of my sexual prowess to other women. Once you get a reputation within a social circle of women for pleasing and satisfying women sexually, you are good to go. Your ticket is punched. You have the "all access" card with privileges. On the flip side, if you have sex with a woman ... and your performance was anywhere from "less-than-average" to "horrible," uh oh. If the woman you left feeling disappointed and sexually unsatisfied has a big mouth, you are in trouble. You might have to move to another city or state. Your reputation will kill future opportunities for sex. Any woman who hears that you are not good in bed from her girlfriend(s) is going to avoid having sex with you like you carrying the West Nile virus. If you cannot have all of your recent lovers give you a four or five star rating, you want to always have at least 40-50% of your lovers give you three or four stars. Then, you will have some "balance." But if you have sex with say, seven women in a year, and all seven women give you only one or two stars ... you're in trouble. On the bright side, there are always prostitutes and professional Call Girls! This brings me back to the appeal of men who have a wife or long-term girlfriend. When a man is involved in a long-term relationship with a woman, many other women automatically assume that this man has a personality that is not boring or irritating, and that he is aboveaverage to exceptional in bed. Add to this a successful career, a nice salary, and a nice home and nice car, and all of the sudden this man is going to have a number of “wannabe mistress types” beginning to flirt with him and offer him sex like crazy. There are two types of women you might encounter when you are married or already romantically involved with a woman: 1. Women who know you have a wife or girlfriend, but they want to see if you are indeed as pleasing and satisfying in bed as they perceive you to be. These women are looking for either a one-night stand, a weekend fling, or to indefinitely be your “woman-on-the-side” or beck-and-call mistress; 2. Women who not only want to be your beck-and-call mistress or woman-on-the-side, but even more so, these women have aspirations of “stealing you away” from your current spouse or romantic companion; Both types really should be avoided, but particularly the women in the second category. Did you ever watch a 1987 film entitled, Fatal Attraction? Actress Glenn Close plays a single woman who suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder named “Alex” who makes herself available for adulterous sex with a married lawyer named “Dan” (Actor Michael Douglass). Dan is under the impression that they are just going to have a one-time weekend fling, but Alex ends up wanting to “steal” Dan away from his wife. Alex ends up wrecking major havoc in Dan’s life, and even threatens at one point to kill Dan’s wife. For a man, many times when you are married or in a long-term relationship, sexual temptations from other women are often times hard to resist. Sometimes, the grass seems a bit greener in another woman’s yard, at least initially.

Now if it is a situation where you are frustrated and totally unhappy with your current girlfriend or wife, you need to first talk things out, and if you cannot come to a mutually agreed upon solution to your relationship problems, then it might be time to call it quits. Then, once you are single again, you are free to start dating any other woman you want to. On the other hand, if you have a really good woman as a wife or girlfriend … a woman you see yourself never wanting to part ways with … then you need to really guard yourself against the temptation of quick, easy sex from other flirtatious women who want to steal you away from a quality woman. First off, you should never talk about what is “wrong” with your relationship to other women. This is when you first open the door for women who are “man thieves” to begin plotting how they are going to steal you away from your wife or girlfriend. In particular, never give another woman the impression that your wife or girlfriend is not satisfying all of your sexual desires, needs, and fantasies. Once you do that, you will give a woman all of the motivation she needs to develop a strategy to attempt to lure you away from your spouse or companion. As a man, you have to ask yourself: would you want your wife or girlfriend telling a male acquaintance that you leave her feeling unsatisfied in bed? That you never listen to her when she wants to talk? That you never take her out to dinner? That you underappreciated her and take her for granted? How can you ever respect a woman who is willing to have sex with you when they have full knowledge that you have a wife or a serious girlfriend? I cannot speak for other men, but if a woman offers me sex while I am already in a relationship, I will never look at that woman as “girlfriend” material or "wifey" material for the future. What is very ironic to me, is that the more of a “good man” a boyfriend or husband presents himself to be (i.e., faithful to his wife or girlfriend), the more women want to tempt that same ‘good man’ to become an adulterer or a cheater. Many women say to themselves, “Well, if he is loyal to her, maybe he will be loyal to me,” but yet, these women are trying to steal that man away. I do not get that at all. With some women, it is not so much about what the man has to offer but it is more so about what they feel that man’s girlfriend or wife does not have to offer. Over the years, I have had women I know admit that to me that they went after a man who was married or in a relationship simply because they felt they were better looking than that man’s wife or girlfriend, they felt they could please and satisfy that man sexually better than that man’s wife or girlfriend could, or they just generally felt like they had more to offer than that man’s wife or girlfriend. The danger for a man in choosing to interact with a woman who is a “man thief,” especially if the man is married, is that this woman could potentially end up becoming a ‘stalker’ type similar to the aforementioned character of “Alex” played by Glenn Close’s in Fatal Attraction. Once you let some women know that they even have a CHANCE at stealing you away from your wife or girlfriend, they will become relent less. If a woman is mentally and/or emotionally unstable, a woman might choose to do anything. She might go as far as to threaten your wife or girlfriend’s well-being. If you have sex with her, and then tell this woman that you have no plans of leaving your wife or girlfriend, the woman could physically threaten you or try to harm you. I think the media needs to be more harshly critical of women who choose to have sex with married men. The vast majority of the time, they only criticize the man who committed adultery. That is sexist and one-sided. Think about it. If each and every woman walking this earth chose to only have sex with a man who was their husband, fiancé, or long-term boyfriend, the term “cheating” would become antiquated overnight. To be fair, women could easily argue that if each and every man walking

this earth committed himself to only having sex with a woman who was his wife, fiancée, or long-term girlfriend, instances of cheating and adultery would also go away overnight. It is really all about the numbers. You put 10,000 single heterosexual men in an environment with 25,000 single heterosexual and bisexual women, then many of those men are going to get “greedy” and want two or three lovers, if not more. The women, most would assume, would probably be more inclined to remain faithful. Now, you put 10,000 single heterosexual men in an environment with 7,500 single heterosexual or bisexual women, then damn near every man will be looking to settle down with one woman, and remain faithful to her. The 2,500 men who ended up with no wife or girlfriend would become very angry, sexually frustrated, and bitter. I would not want to be around those men. They would probably become homicidal maniacs (I am only half joking; Studies do show t hat men become violent when t hey are unable t o find women for romant ic or sexual companionship). Again .... there are always skanky prostitutes for those 2,500 men!! (some big, burly dude named "Billy Bob," who resides in a town with far more men than women, is reading this right now and saying, "That ain't funny you bastard" Sorry dude.) I have never conducted formal research on this issue, but I bet money if you did a study, you would find that cities that have approximately the same number of men as women, or more men than women, have more long-lasting relationships devoid of adultery or cheating than cities or areas where there are significantly more women than men. Many women have it in their heads, validly or invalidly, that there are a limited number of “good” men available to women in today’s dating scene. Most women believe that men who are good looking, good in bed, financially stable and self-sufficient, monogamy-minded, intelligent, charming, witty, romantic, empathetic, and considerate make up less than 1% of the single men available to date. This is in part what motivates a lot of these women to become “man thieves.” The reality is there are a lot of “good” men available for women, depending on what a woman’s definition is of a “good man.” I have met a lot of men who were monogamy-minded, but these men were not wealthy or particularly handsome. I have met men who work hard, but they might not be driving a BMW or have a house on the beach. What many women are really saying when they suggest that they want a “good” man is that they want a man who is the “total package.” If you have 75% of the single heterosexual and bisexual women in society trying to connect with the Top 5% of the most handsome, wealthy men with exceptional sexual prowess, guess what? That leaves you with 95% of the remaining men competing with each other for the remaining 25% of the women. Not a good scenario. If half of that Top 5% of desirable men have wives and girlfriends, you really have problems. My simple advice to the men is that if you have a good, loyal, honest, warm hearted wife or girlfriend, hold on to that woman. Hold on to her tight. That grass you think is greener in the other woman’s yard? That is artificial turf. It is an illusion. Do not open up the door for unnecessary drama and stress. Leave that hot, sexy woman alone until you are single again. To wrap up, here are the common characteristics and early, detectable signs of women who are looking to steal a man away from his wife or long-term girlfriend: · Anytime a woman flirts with you on a regular or semi-regular basis, even though she knows you have a wife or girlfriend, that woman is potentially looking to steal you away from your spouse or companion; · Anytime a woman regularly wears very sexually provocative clothing around you, even though she knows you are already married or in a relationship, that woman is potentially looking to steal you away from your spouse or companion; · Anytime a woman is willing to ask you very personal and nosy questions about how well your wife or girlfriend are treating you and satisfying you sexually, that woman definitely has her sights set on stealing you away from your spouse or long-term

companion; · Anytime a woman is constantly complimenting you for being a “good man” who is loyal to your wife or girlfriend, and she offers comments such as, “I wish I had a man like YOU in my life,” nine times out of ten, this woman has thoughts of stealing you away from your current wife or girlfriend.; In my next chapter, I am going to discuss women who love to nag men and argue with men just for the sake of arguing. These women are spoiled brats who love entertaining antagonism in their relationships. These women are known as “Drama Queens.” These women will give you headaches and prevent you from experiencing peace of mind. Continue reading my friend.

Chapter Seven

Drama Queens: Women who love to nag men and argue with men just for the sake of arguing Drama. Most of us love a good television series that contains storylines which create tension and drama, and similarly, most of us love a good feature-film that has a lot of suspense and drama. So, most of us can agree that when it comes to entertainment, drama is a “good” thing. Moving from the Entertainment Industry to your personal relationships with members of the opposite sex, I know more men and women who prefer not to experience “drama” in their romantic relationships than those who don’t mind some. Men in particular, at least based on my conversations with other members of my gender, despise ‘drama’ in their romantic relationships. Men who work hard at their jobs and handle their business want to come home, eat dinner, drink a beer, watch television, and enjoy some peace of mind. They do not wish to be nagged, and they do not want to engage in unnecessary arguments with their wife or girlfriend if they can help it. Anytime a woman is guilty of constantly nagging her husband or boyfriend, or consistently baiting him into arguments that do not solve any problems, this woman will be labeled by most men as a “Drama Queen.” I have had at least two ex-girlfriends who were Drama Queen types. One of the two even flat-out admitted that she was a Drama Queen. Her exact words to me were, “I get bored if there is no drama in my relationships.” No joke. She actually said that to me. At least I give her points for honesty. What causes a woman to start behaving like a Drama Queen? In my opinion, there are four major behavioral components that lead women to exhibit the behavior of a “Drama Queen.” If you are a woman reading this, you can probably apply the same characteristics to men who may validly be categorized as a “Drama King.” Here is my assessment: ·

Women who have extremely “spoiled” egos and narcissistic traits

·

Women who are very egotistically insecure

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Women who are very “thin-skinned” and emotionally sensitive

· Women who have a strong desire for attention (even negative attention) and/or hate for their relationships to be too predictable, too routine, or too mundane I find anytime you meet a woman whose behavior and personality encompasses these four behavioral traits, you are going to experience the repercussions of dating a bona-fide Drama Queen. Let us start with being spoiled. A number of women (and men) grew up with parents who allowed them to get away with very spoiled behavior. Some athletes say they hate losing, but I think losing in sports teaches grade school, middle school, and high school athletes one important lesson: in life, you are not always going t o have everyt hing go your way. Sometimes, your ego is going to be bruised, your feelings are going to be hurt, and you are not going to always experience the results you desired. If any woman grew up in an environment where everyone around her always let her have her way and always let her get away with “bad behavior,” that woman is going to develop a very spoiled and narcissistic mentality. I have always said a child growing up extremely spoiled will turn into an adult who will be unable to handle the challenges and unexpected episodes of

adversity that the real world will present to them. Then these same type of men and women will potentially become psychopaths and/or sociopaths who wreck havoc on society. When I was young, many of my male friends would greet each other with one friend lightheartedly saying, “It’s your world!” and then one of the other friends would reply, “Naw man, it’s YOUR world!! I’m just a squirrel trying to get a nut!!” Men and women who are extremely spoiled and narcissistic actually believe the world revolves around them. They believe all circumstances in their life’s experiences should work out in their favor. This brings me back to the comments offered by the relationship expert I interviewed on my talk radio show by the name of Steve Penner. Penner was discussing women who fall into the category of “Former Beauty Queen” types (or, as controversial talk radio show host Tom Leykis refers to as “Former Hotties”). Penner said that these types of women have the hardest time transitioning from their thirties to their forties, and from their forties to their fifties, because as they get older, the amount of flattering attention that they are accustomed to receiving from men tends to diminish significantly. Leykis has commented before that these types of women have usually been “spoiled” by horny men looking to get laid with them and/or wealthy men looking for a good-looking “trophy” to have on their shoulder. Similar to my criticisms of men in Chapter Five who tend to base most of their self-esteem on how much money they earn, there are a lot of women who make the mistake of basing most of their self esteem on their looks and sex appeal. Once these women stop receiving compliments from horny, wealthy men on a daily or weekly basis, they cannot handle it. A woman with a very spoiled ego is never appealing to men in the long run. At first it might seem “cute” and tolerable, but after a while, that characteristic just becomes downright irritating. You would think that women who are very attractive would be the most egotistically secure, right? Wrong. Many times, women who are the most attractive are the most insecure. The foundation of your self-esteem should never be one quality about yourself. For example, if 90% of your self-esteem is based on your looks, then guess what? Anytime you are around a man or woman who you perceive to be more physically attractive than you, you are going to feel insecure. If 90% of your self-esteem is based on how intelligent and knowledgeable you are, then guess what? Anytime you find yourself in the company of men and women who you perceive to be more intelligent than you and more knowledgeable than you about a particular subject, you are going to feel insecure. Ideally, your self-est eem should be based on a combinat ion of your appealing at t ribut es. Your self-esteem should be based on the collective sum of what you have to offer, such as ... your looks + your sense of humor + your intelligence + your level of expertise and talent in various areas + how well you treat other people + your confidence in your ability to overcome challenges and adversity + [insert your other desirable and highly appealing traits here]. As a man, if you choose to date a woman who is very insecure about how appealing her looks are to you, insecure about how much she pleases and satisfies you in bed, and insecure about how appealing and entertaining her personality is to you, you are in for a lot of drama. These type of women tend to always assume that there is at least one or two other women that you find to be more attractive than them, sexier than them, or more enjoyable to be around than them. This is never a good thing. Personally, I would rather date a woman who is so cocky and full of herself, that she does not believe that any woman could steal me away from her than to date a woman who is always accusing me of flirting with other women or sleeping with other women. If I have cheated on a woman, and a woman gives me a mouthful as a result, that is not representative of “drama.” If I have never cheated on a woman, but that woman is always

accusing me of cheating on her on a weekly or monthly basis, then yes - that is representative of “drama.” Similar to being spoiled and insecure, some women are just very thin-skinned and emotionally sensitive. Arguably the best example of this is the age-old belief that if your wife or girlfriend asks you, “Do I look fat in this dress?” you are supposed to lie to her and spare her feelings by replying, “No honey … you look just fine!” I’m sorry, but I do not agree with that notion. Raw, real truth is always better than a pleasant lie. My response would go something like, “Honey … I love you and will always love you … but that is not the most flattering dress you could be wearing. The truth is, you just commented last week that you feel you have picked up about forty or fifty pounds in the last two years. Consequently, I would not suggest that you wear that particular dress. Let me help you choose another dress that I think will accentuate how you look right now, even with your added weight.” Bam. No lying involved, but I did not blatantly insult my wife or girlfriend either. I told my romantic companion the objective truth without being mean-spirited. If my companion were to get “sensitive” and start crying after hearing that particular response, then God help her. Going to the extreme to try to “spare people’s feelings” is directly what causes dishonest and/or disingenuous behavior. I do not like to lie to people or be phony with people. Nothing - and I mean, NOTHING - makes me cringe inside more than when I am in a social situation where I feel like I have to tell people “pleasant lies” and generally feel obligated to be phony with people. Not only do I not like dating women who make me feel like I have to walk on egg shells, I do not even like sharing the company of other men who make me feel that way. I think too many people in society go to such extremes not to be perceived as “rude,” “crass,” “insulting,” “offensive,” and/or “disrespectful” by others that they slowly but surely transition from being "well-mannered" and "polite" into becoming blatant liars and exhibiting behavior that is incredibly insincere and phony toward others. I have dated at least a handful of women who I would describe as incredibly sensitive and thin-skinned. They could not handle any type of objective or constructive criticisms. Either they would start yelling and becoming argumentative, or they would start crying and I would have to console them. For the final component that makes up the prototypical “Drama Queen,” all you have to do is re-read Chapter One and Chapter Two where I discuss women who are “Attention Whores.” Some women just want constant attention. I know women who cannot go as much as one or two hours without some degree of attention from men. I do not like to offer too many generalizations of the two genders in my books, but I will throw this one out: I believe men as a group – generally speaking – can go much longer without the attention of women than women as a group can go without the attention of men (assuming members of both genders are heterosexual). There is even a saying that used to be passed around a few years ago that went, “Women give men sex in order to receive attention, and men give women attention in order to receive sex.” I believe both men and women love sex, and I believe both men and women love attention. The main difference between the two genders is that men love to receive BOTH from the same woman. For men, “attention PLUS sex” is like a mandatory “combo pack.” Men rarely want attention from women just for the sake of attention. For most men, attention without sex means very little to us. In contrast, many women do not have to be receiving attention and sex from the same man. A woman could be receiving sexual satisfaction from “Tyrone,” who only gives her attention while he is exchanging orgasms with her, and then this woman will try her best to maintain a platonic friendship with “Brian” who she hopes will offer her hours and hours of flattering attention and entertaining conversation without making her feel obligated to have sex with

him (re-read Chapter One and Chapter Two). Very few men want to be in a long-term relationship with a woman who has all four of these unappealing characteristics combined. One of these characteristics by itself is challenging enough. To date a woman who is spoiled and narcissistic, insecure, extremely sensitive, and is in constant need of attention can cause a man to start drinking alcohol (when he never touched the stuff before) and start using drugs (when he never even thought about using drugs before). I knew men who used to play Madden NFL (a video game produced by EA Sports) for hours and hours each and every day to escape having to deal with their "Drama Queen" of a girlfriend or wife. If the behavior of your wife or girlfriend becomes too extreme, you might have to suggest to her that she may need to seek professional help. Many women in this category may actually suffer from either what is known as "Borderline Personality Disorder," "Narcissistic Personality Disorder" and/or "Histrionic Personality Disorder." Very few women who I described in Part One of this book could get away with being a Drama Queen. Most men are not going to allow a woman to act like a Drama Queen for too long if they are not having sex with those women. Realistically, very few women would even try to exhibit the behavior of a Drama Queen with a man who they were not having sex with yet. Sex, and particularly GOOD sex, is the “hook” that usually baits the man in. Anytime I have had a male friend who had a wife or girlfriend who was a major Drama Queen, and I asked that friend, “why did you hook up with her? Why do you put up with that?” their number one response would usually be along the lines of, “she takes care of me in bed bro. She may be hard to get along with out of the bedroom, but in the bedroom, she treats me like a King. Believe that.” As a man, you have to ask yourself is it worth it. Is experiencing orgasmic pleasure via this woman’s mouth and/or vagina worth all of the stress and headaches I am experiencing out of the bedroom? For casual sex? Maybe. For marriage or a long-term monogamous relationship? I say never, ever. Many women will “test” you as a man. Some women will specifically and intentionally exhibit the behavior of a “spoiled brat” just to see how long you are willing to tolerate it. Once a woman observes that you are willing to “reward” her for providing you with sexual satisfaction by allowing her to behave like an uncontrollable spoiled brat, you are in trouble. In this instance, a man would be making the mistake of “rewarding bad behavior.” This is never a good thing. Women make this mistake with men too. A lot of times, if a man is wealthy and/or really, really good in bed, women allow that man get away with all sorts of undesirable and normally intolerable behavior. Being pleasing and satisfying in bed has its rewards. When it comes to entering into a long-term monogamous relationship or marriage with a woman, one thing you must quickly determine is, “What behavior am I willing to tolerate from my partner over a period of weeks, months, and years?” Whenever I look at a woman as a potential long-term romantic companion, I tend to place all of her individual attributes, personality traits, unique quirks and overall behavioral characteristics into three categories: 1. Attributes, traits, quirks, and characteristics that I love, desire, and prefer; 2. Attributes, traits, quirks, and characteristics that I do not particularly care for, or I am indifferent toward, but I could easily tolerate indefinitely; 3. Attributes, traits, quirks, and characteristics that I cannot tolerate for more than a few

hours, a few days, or a few weeks; I refer to category #1 as “St rong Qualit ies,” category #2 as “Tolerable Differences,” and category #3 as “Red Flags and Dealbreakers.” If a woman possesses more qualities and characteristics that fall into category #2 more so than category #1, nine times out of ten, I am going to choose not to enter into a long-term monogamous relationship with that woman. Here would be some examples of five qualities that fall into each category for me: Alan Roger Currie’s “St rong Qualit ies” Short List : Intelligent Great sense of humor A physical appearance that is pleasing to my eyes Erotically uninhibited and free-spirited in bed Loves quality feature-films Alan Roger Currie’s “Tolerable Differences” Short List : Doesn’t love watching NFL or NBA games Can’t cook very well Doesn’t like me using profanity too often Doesn’t listen to Michael Jackson music too often Loves to gossip with her close girlfriends a lot Alan Roger Currie’s “Red Flags / Dealbreakers” List : Pathologically dishonest and disloyal (see Chapter Nine) Extremely phony and pretentious Extremely prudish in bed / Does not like “erotic dirty talk” Hates watching movies or hates Michael Jackson music Smokes cigarettes and/or uses harsh drugs (e.g. cocaine, heroin, methamphetamine, etc.) Many of my male and female friends have told me that they use the same three categories, or some even have four categories they use (e.g., “Qualities a romantic companion MUST have,” “Qualities that I would PREFER a romantic companion to have,” “Qualities that I do not care for in a romantic companion, but could TOLERATE,” and “Red Flags and Dealbreakers.” If you are single, and you do not have a category list like this, you should create one over the next few days or weeks. You will never find “Ms. Right” or “Mr. Right” if you have no idea what qualities and characteristics you want in a long-term romantic companion, or do not want in a long-term partner. This is why I am critical of women who say, “I want a man to get to know me,” and then they spend days, weeks or months talking about trivial, irrelevant, stupid stuff. When a man meets a woman who he believes could potentially be his next girlfriend or future wife, 90% of his conversation should center on identifying the qualities, attributes, and general characteristics that fall into either category #1, category #2, or category #3 (and category #4 if you have four categories). If you do not want to date or marry a woman who will turn out to be a Drama Queen, then you need to ask a woman questions such as, “How do you react or respond in situations where you are unable to have your way?” “When close friends or family members ignore you for a number of hours or days for no reason, does that cause you to become highly upset?” “How well do you handle constructive criticism?” “If you saw another woman smiling while in conversation with me, would you automatically assume I was flirting with her or trying to sleep with her? Quest ions, quest ions, and even more quest ions. This is how you get t o really know a member of t he opposit e sex. Not by simply cracking jokes or sharing entertaining, funny stories about your sister’s dog or your former co-worker.

I have witnessed some men just look at a woman, and immediately say, “Wow. I want to marry her!!” Yeah, right. That drop-dead gorgeous woman could be a convicted shoplifter for all you know. She could be a pathological liar. She could be an unintelligent “airhead.” You will not know until you have multiple conversations with her and ask her a number of questions that provoke her to reveal to you who she really is. I do not think I have ever just looked at a woman, and said to myself, “I would love to marry that woman!” I have definitely looked at a woman and immediately said, “I think I would enjoy having casual sex with that woman” (I have had one-night stands and weekend flings with many women with a wide assortment of personality flaws and character flaws). Another thing I have learned from reading about famous (or some would say, infamous) street pimps is that pimps rarely, if ever tolerate undesirable behavior from women. If one of the whores in their stable exhibits behavior they do not like, they get rid of them and replace them with another new whore. If a pimp had only one whore, do you think he could quickly and easily let her go? No. He would be tempted to tolerate a lot of undesirable and defiant behavior from that whore. When a pimp has dozens of whores willing to make money for him, he can afford a high turnover rate. This is why I do not believe that a man should ever put “all his eggs in one basket” too quickly. You should always maintain a number of options for romantic and sexual companionship until you are 100% sure that the woman you have been going out with and getting to know is “the one.” Really, the only time you should permanently cut off all of your other options for female companionship is when you get engaged. That is the whole purpose of getting engaged. When you put a ring on a woman’s finger, you are saying to her, “I want to marry you, and I am willing to sacrifice all of my opportunities to have sex with other women in order to only have sex with you.” Until you are engaged, my recommendation would be to always maintain multiple options for romantic and sexual companionship with (other) women (I am not suggesting cheating on your girlfriend ... I do not condone lying or cheating. Be Mode One about it). You would hope that when the day comes when you are having your bachelor party, all your single male friends would feel envious of you rather than feel sorry for you. If you marry a woman who is a Drama Queen, and everyone knows it, consensus sympathy will be the underlying theme of your party. To wrap up, here are the common characteristics and early, detectable signs of women who will eventually exhibit the behavior of a “Drama Queen” once you enter into a long-term monogamous relationship with them: · Anytime a woman gives off signs that she has an extremely spoiled ego and narcissistic tendencies, this is a “red flag” that this woman is, or will soon be, a Drama Queen; · Anytime a woman gives off signs that she is very egotistically insecure about her looks, her ability to please and satisfy men sexually, or the overall appeal of her personality and companionship, nine times out of ten, this woman is, or will soon become, a Drama Queen; · Anytime a woman is gives off signs that she is very emotionally sensitive and tends to react in a very “thin-skinned” manner in response to objective and constructive criticisms, nine times out of ten, you are dealing with a woman who is, or will soon become, a Drama Queen; · Anytime a woman has a hard time going more than a few minutes or a few hours without attention from a man she is dating, nine times out of ten, if you enter into a relationship with this woman, she is going to exhibit the behavior of a Drama Queen; In my next chapter, I am going to discuss women who will have sex with men, but only

occasionally, and only if their male companion practically “begs” them to. These women are heterosexual or bisexual, but their primary desire is to control men, dominate men, and even humiliate and "psychologically emasculate" men. Continue reading my friend.

Chapter Eight

The Misandrist: I don't need a man . . . but if you bow down and worship me, I will have sex with you (occasionally) If you are not familiar with these two terms, I am going to make you familiar with them right now. One of the two terms is used arguably too much, and the other is not really used enough. Term #1: Misogynist . A misogynist is a man who literally hates women. If he is heterosexual, he might have sex with women regularly, semi-regularly, or occasionally, but in general, he despises women and does not respect them as human beings. A man like this will have very little non-sexual interaction with women. Many women either misuse this term, or apply it in an invalid, inappropriate manner. For example, you have read in this book where I have discussed street pimps. I have heard many women say, “All pimps are misogynists.” That is not necessarily true or valid. Similarly, I have heard women say, “All men who are womanizers and adulterers are misogynists.” Again, this statement is not necessarily true or 100% valid. Just because a man loves having non-monogamous sex with multiple women does not make him a misogynist. Promiscuity does not equal misogyny. Also, just because a man has a tendency to lie to his wife or girlfriend about cheating on her does not mean the man is a misogynist. That means he has no character or integrity. Ted Bundy, a notorious serial killer of women, was a true misogynist. Bundy had so much resentment for women, he wanted them dead. That is the highest form of misogyny. Men who do not like working for women or with women are misogynists. Men who hate their mothers, grandmothers, aunts, sisters, and other female relatives are misogynists. The number one sign that you are a misogynist, or on the verge of becoming one, is when you develop such a profound sense of bitterness, disdain, resentment, and hatred toward women that at minimum, you want no social interaction with them, and at maximum, you have visions of murdering them or seeing them killed. If you are a man, and you find yourself in the latter category, seek professional help immediately. Seriously. Quick note: Sometimes, a misogynist can be a woman who hates other women. There have been documented interviews of women who literally hate members of their own gender. Term #2: Misandrist . Similar to a misogynist, a misandrist is a woman (usually, but it could be another man) who has a profound hatred of men. At maximum, a woman like this wants to cause men mental, emotional, and physical harm and pain; At minimum, this woman has a deep, profound disdain for men, and she has absolutely no respect for men as human beings. This woman will blame all of the world’s flaws and trouble on men. If the woman is heterosexual, she might have sex with a man just enough times to get pregnant, but not much more than that. Many women I have conversed with have expressed that they are not even familiar with this term, and even a larger percentage of men I have spoken with said they never heard of the term. The media rarely refers to a woman as a misandrist in the same manner that they will be quick to call a man a misogynist. One reason for this is that it is extremely rare for a woman to become a serial killer of men in the same way Bundy was a serial killer of women. Misandry usually starts when a woman is a little girl, and she witnesses her mother being constantly mentally, physically, and emotionally abused by her father. Worse, she could have had a father or step-father who sexually abused her.

Other times, it could happen later in life when she begins to feel like all men want from her is sex or all of her former boyfriends cheated on her and treated her like crap, so now she finds herself becoming bitter and resentful toward the entire male gender. A lot of men might be tempted to confuse a misandrist with a feminist and/or a lesbian. Many times, a woman can be all three, two of those three, or just one of those three. A feminist is a woman who is an advocate for women being treated equally in the workplace, and equally in society. For example, feminists believe that if men and women perform the same job, they should be paid an equal amount of money. Feminists believe if a man can be elected to public office, than so can a woman. Feminists believe if men can play sports on the high school or college level, then women should be allowed the same opportunity. A feminist does not necessarily “hate” men. They just want equal opportunities and equal respect. A lesbian is simply a woman who prefers to have sex exclusively with members of her own gender rather than women and men (bisexuality) or men exclusively (heterosexuality). Similar to feminists, lesbians as a group do not necessarily “hate,” “dislike,” or “despise” men. They simply do not have a desire to engage in sexual activity with a man. I once met a woman who told me that the only reason she would have sex with a man would be to get pregnant. Other than that, she had no interest in having sex with a man. Surprisingly, this woman was not a lesbian, nor did she indicate that she was bisexual. This woman was a prime example of a heterosexual misandrist. The most extreme woman you will meet is one who is all three (i.e., a feminist, a lesbian, and a misandrist). There are a few in society. These women are probably your most hardcore "man-haters." These are the women who completely despise men, want nothing to do with men, and would never have sex with a man even if you had a gun to their heads. They do not even want a man to touch their bodies. I have met a handful of women in my life who were both a feminist and a lesbian, or a feminist and a misandrist. Women who fall into the first group are actually okay to talk to and socialize with. Again, those types do not really “hate” men at all … they just want the same freedoms, opportunities, and civil liberties that all men have access to. I do not hate on them for that. The women who are the most likely to throw men for a loop, and cause problems for them as a romantic companion and sex partner, are those women who are physically and sexually attracted to men, but they have the constant mindset of a misandrist, or both a feminist and a misandrist. Women who are heterosexual (or bisexual) feminists and misandrists never want to be erotically submissive to a man. Never. Many women who have a career as a “Dominatrix” fall into this category. These types of women will only engage in sexual activity with men who are submissive t o t hem. You think all women want to date and marry “Alpha males?” Wrong. Not these type of women. These types of women want a Beta male type as a long-term companion. Even more exciting and challenging to their ego would be for these women to recruit an Alpha male type, and then subsequently emasculate his sense of confidence, self-esteem and manhood so profoundly and so regularly to the point where he begins to take on the behavior of a more passive and subservient Beta male. Some women do this with their own boyfriends and husbands, and even more startling is when some women do this with t heir own sons. I have read and heard stories of women who, because they resented their father, step-father, former husband, or the biological father of their son, they will control, dominate, and psychologically emasculate their son(s) to the point where their son(s) become completely obedient and submissive to women, not to mention highly effeminate. I am a big fan of comedian Eddie Murphy, and he starred in this crazy romantic comedy

entitled Norbit. If you watch that film, Murphy plays a number of different characters, including the lead character, “Norbit,” who is this very wimpy, very passive doormat of a man with absolutely no backbone. Murphy also plays the role of “Rasputia” who is this obese, domineering woman who completely humiliates and psychologically emasculates Norbit every chance she gets. The fictional character of Rasputia would be a prime example of a woman who is heterosexual, but a misandrist. I remember watching this television drama where during one episode, the husband had to refer to his wife as “Queen” and “Mam,” and he had to literally plead with her for sex. In one scene, he says, “Please mam! I’ve been a good boy!! Please let me have sex with you my queen!” I cringed. I have issues with seeing a man “begging” a woman for sex or being totally subservient to his wife or long-term girlfriend. Here is where you, as a man, have to be on the lookout for these types: many of these women will init ially play the role of a very feminine, semi-submissive, “girly girl” who wants to do nothing but please her man. Then, once a man is in a relationship with them, once the man marries them, or once a man gets them pregnant, they do a blatant “bait-and-switch” of personalities on the man. I have had at least three male friends of mine who experienced this. When they first started dating their girlfriends, these women were sweet, feminine, accommodating, and eager to please them in bed. Then, after those women became my friends’ wives, or the mother to their children, their entire personality experienced a metamorphosis for the worse. Suddenly, the seemingly “submissive” and “accommodating” women were now controlling, nagging, domineering, and trying their best to control each and every aspect of their relationship with my friends. Some of the guys had to “beg” their wives for sex. Another guy, once his girlfriend gave birth to their daughter, wanted nothing to do with him other than to collect child support payments from him. Some Black men I know tend to assume this is only a phenomenon that happens in the African-American community because a number of Black women are often portrayed on television and in movies as "bossy," "defiant," and "highly independent." Not so my friend. I have known Asian women, Caucasian women, Hispanic women, and other races of women to pull the same “bait-and-switch” personality trap on unsuspecting men. This is at least half the reason why you have some men hate the idea of marriage. Anytime I have met a man who told me that he actually hates the concept of marriage, it is usually because of one of two reasons: 1. He just believes monogamy is “unnatural” and contradicts a man’s basic promiscuous nature and desire for multiple sex partners; or 2. He has witnessed his father, his brother, or a close male friend of his get completely controlled, dominated, manipulated and psychologically emasculated by their wife, girlfriend, or the mother of their children; I remember watching yet another episode of a television crime drama, and this young guy was being pursued because he had recently become a serial killer of women, and prior to that, he was physically abusing women. One detective said, “Sounds like he must have had a father who physically abused his mother, and he is imitating the abusive behavior of his Dad…,” then, to the detective’s surprise, the female detective replies, “Actually, no. This guy has already been interrogated and profiled. It was actually his mother who physically abused and humiliated his father. And now, the guy hates women.” In other words, the guy in this episode of the television crime drama witnessed his mother behave like a misandrist, which in turn caused him to become a misogynist. As I alluded to earlier, the opposite happens quite often too. Many women witness their fathers behave like a

misogynist, so they in turn grow up to become a misandrist. I remember watching this Tyler Perry film entitled, Why Did I Get Married? I generally enjoyed the film, but there were a couple of things that bothered me. Tasha Smith (who in real life is super cool, and I interviewed her on my talk radio show in 2010) played this character named “Angela” who was always yelling at her husband “Marcus” (Actor Michael Jai White) in front of other people. Now, I realize it was a movie, and the behavior by Angela toward Marcus was in the movie for “comedic effect,” but on a minor level, I still did not like it. A lot of men I know who saw this film said the same thing. It was a prime example of a woman belittling and psychologically emasculating her husband in public. I have seen this scenario happen too many times in real life. Even worse was this scene where one female character knocked a male character over his head with a wine bottle, and knocked him out. All of the women in the audience were cheering, applauding, and laughing. I did not find the scene funny at all. If that had been a man knocking a woman over the head with a wine bottle just for saying something sassy, insulting, or smartalecky to him, you would have heard nothing but “boos” or silence from the women in the audience. Women would have eventually started protesting the film and asking other women to boycott it. Personally, I do not even like to watch most television sitcoms anymore because at least half of them involve a wife who is totally controlling, domineering, and condescending to their husband on the show. Viewers never get angry about this, or propose a protest to it. Most think it’s funny to see women disrespect men on television, yet when male characters disrespect women on a television series, some women will immediately ask viewers to boycott that show, or stop watching it. Hypocrisy. Call me a “sexist” or a “chauvinist,” but I do not like the idea of a woman “wearing the pants” in a relationship. I am a harsh critic of the whole notion of that concept, and I have said so publicly on my talk radio show, in my freelance articles, and now in this book. One of my talk radio show guests and I actually got into somewhat of a heated debate about this during an interview. It started when I said that I have never seen a relationship be both a) long-lasting and b) full of romantic and erotic passion when the woman was the “dominant partner” in the relationship. I cannot think of one relationship that fits that bill. This particular guest said that she vehemently disagreed, and that she herself “wore the pants” in her relationship with her boyfriend. I said, “Put him on the phone. Let me hear him say that in his own words. I want to hear your boyfriend say that you wear the pants in your relationship with him,” First she refused, then said he was not around. I would have cringed hearing a man confess on my talk radio show that his girlfriend controls the relationship. She very well could have been telling the truth, but I still maintain that I have never witnessed such a relationship in my own life with my own eyes. Every relationship that I know of where the woman was the dominant partner either 1) did not last very long, and if it was a marriage, ended in divorce; and/or 2) there was very little, if any romantic or erotic passion in the relationship. It some cases, the relationship or marriage was devoid of sex altogether. I do not know how any woman could get consistently and frequently aroused sexually by a man with no real confidence or backbone, and that allows his girlfriend or wife to disrespect him and treat him like crap. I know my personality. I would never, ever be able to tolerate being in a long-term relationship or marriage with a woman who has a domineering, controlling, “bossy,” and/or condescending nature about her. I said in my first book, Mode One, that all of us have a “dark side” within us that can be unleashed at any time when other people, or highly unfavorable circumstances and unexpected episodes of adversity, push us to our limits. A woman of that nature would surely unleash my "dark side" at some point.

I believe the only men who would enjoy, or at least tolerate, being in a relationship with this type of woman is a man who is naturally passive, is accustomed to his mother, sister(s), or former girlfriends dominating him and influencing his behavior, and simply has no real backbone. He is what is known in the BDSM world and fetish sex world as a “sub” (short for "submissive type") or a “bottom.” A "top" or a "dom" would be an extremely dominant type romantic companion or sex partner, and a "switch" is a man or woman who tends to vacillate between being dominant at times with their partner, and other times they play the role of the submissive partner. If you, as a man, are an Alpha male type, or aspire to be, do not allow any woman to “convert” you into a passive, obedient, Beta male. I don’t care how good looking or sexy the woman is, how much money she earns, or how much she pleases and satisfies your sexual urges and desires. It is not worth it. How can you look at yourself in the mirror knowing that your wife or girlfriend does not respect you at all as a man? I have heard many women and media publications offer comments such as, “men do not seem to want to get married anymore, and I think it is because they cannot handle women earning more money than them, or having their own career.” That is some straight-up B.S. I know a lot of men who would have no problem being married to a woman who earned more money than them and who had a successful career of their own. I myself would have no problem being in a romantic relationship with a woman who was a multi-millionaire and owned her company. That situation would not threaten my sense of manhood in the least bit. The real reason why a number of men do not wish to get married in today’s society is for one of the two reasons I mentioned earlier. Most of the men who are handsome, charming, gainfully employed and reasonably good in bed have so many women throwing them opportunities to have sex that they cannot find it in themselves to gain the motivation to settle down with one woman. It’s easy to settle down when a bachelor might only have one or two women who are attractive, sexy, funny, and intelligent with good character offering him the opportunity for sexual companionship. As a man, you do not want to take the chance that one or both of these two women might lose interest in you soon, and select another man. So, you go and buy that ring. It is much more challenging for a bachelor to think about marriage when he has dozens, if not hundreds of attractive, sexy, witty, and intellectually sharp women who are willing to be loyal to him offering him the opportunity to share their company romantically and sexually. Secondly, it is not a woman’s career success or wealth that turns a man off or intimidates him, it is when women take on the masculinity of a man and “bossy” demeanor of a woman who believes that she should control a relationship by virtue of her job status and earning potential. Reality check: No Alpha male type man is going to put up with a woman controlling a relationship. An Alpha male type does not care if the woman earns one million dollars per year, and is the CEO of her own company. An Alpha male type is simply not going to tolerate a woman barking orders at him or trying to dominate him and convert him into a Beta male. Do not confuse the women who genuinely want to dominate you as a man with the woman who are “testing” you or simply “busting your balls.” The pimp Iceberg Slim said there are two times a woman will act like a dominant, defiant, antagonistic “bitch” toward a man: 1) when she does not think you have the confidence and backbone to lead her in a relationship and erotically dominate her, or 2) when she does think you have what it takes to lead her and erotically dominate her, but she does not feel you are showing that side of yourself yet, and she is trying to motivate you to step your game up. Once again, I have to emphasize that when you are looking for a woman to become your long-term girlfriend or potential wife, you need to ask her a lot of questions. Questions, questions, and even more questions.

Get to know this woman. Find out how her mother behaved toward her father, and vice versa. Find out how she relates to her brothers, male cousins, and male platonic friends. Find out how she behaves toward men who earn an average amount of money vs. men who earn a lot of money. Find out the reasons why her last long-term relationship ended. Famed poet Maya Angelou said, “When people show you who they really are, believe them the first time.” It is easy for a woman to put on a façade initially that hides her true colors and what she is all about. As time passes though, her real side will always reveal itself. Trust me on that. People’s real side always rises to the surface at some point in time. Be t he real you from the beginning with women. Do not display a façade. I have had a number of women in my life try to motivate me to modify various aspects of my behavior and my personality for the primary purpose of pleasing them and accommodating them. I rarely have agreed to, and the less-than-handful of times I was guilty of modifying some aspect of my behavior in order to please a woman, I regretted it in the long-run In my opinion, the best romantic relationships are those where neither you or your partner have to make any significant or drastic changes to your personality or behavior in order for the relationship to be long-lasting and full of romantic and erotic passion. If you encounter any woman who treats the opportunity to have sex with her as a “reward” for you being a “good boy,” leave that woman alone. If a woman threatens to withhold sex as a form of a “punishment” in response to you not exhibiting the behavior that this woman wanted you to or expected you to? Leave her alone. Other people, including women, can try to influence your choice of what behavior you will exhibit toward them, but no one can actually cont rol your behavior but you. Do not ever allow a woman to control who you are. You know who you are. You are a man. Not “mama’s big boy,” but a man. Demonstrate your balls and backbone and always carry yourself like you are your own man. To wrap up, here are the common characteristics and early, detectable signs of women who will eventually exhibit the behavior of a misandrist, or at minimum, the behavior of a woman who wants to “wear the pants” and be the dominant partner in her relationship with you and wants to transform you from a dominant Alpha male into a passive Beta male: · Anytime a woman gives you the impression that she did not get along with her father or step-father, that she did not get along with her brother(s), and that she just doesn’t really think highly of men in general, you should be very wary of dating a woman like this. More-than-likely, this woman has the mentality of a misandrist; · Anytime a woman attempts to loud talk you in public, harshly criticize your behavior in front of others, frequently walks a few feet in front of you each and every time you two are in public, and is always admonishing and chastising you for no reason, leave this woman alone. This woman is more than a Drama Queen - she is a misandrist who does not respect you as a man; · Anytime you notice that you have to “beg” a woman for sex, or you have to behave exactly the way a woman demands that you behave in order for a woman to agree to have sex with you, do not enter into a long-term monogamous relationship with this woman. She is looking to control your behavior and dominate you. She does not respect you as a man, and she never will; In my next and final chapter, I am going to discuss women who you might think love you, adore you, and are totally into you, but in reality, they are women who are pathologically dishonest and disloyal. These women are either already cheating on you, or soon will be. Continue reading my friend.

Chapter Nine

Liars & Cheaters: Women who are pathologically dishonest and disloyal, or at minimum, extremely fickle Liars. Why do we lie and look to deceive other people? There are a variety of reasons why men and women lie to members of their own gender as well members of the opposite sex. Based on what I have read and experienced, here are what I would categorize as the Top Five Reasons Why Men and Women Lie, specifically as it relat es t o dat ing and relat ionships: 1. In order to be in a position to “have their cake and eat it too” 2. To manipulate a situation in order to gain an opportunity or a type of companionship that you would not be able to gain or experience if they were upfront and straightforwardly honest 3. To prevent themselves from being criticized, punished, or ignored indefinitely 4. To impress members of the opposite sex in order to increase their “social market value” in the eyes of others 5. To avoid bruising a companion’s ego or hurting their feelings I am sure there are at least a handful of other reasons and motivations, but those would be my Top 5. Many men and women do not realize, but just one blat ant lie, once discovered, can ruin an ent ire relat ionship or even end a marriage. Did you know that most surveys show that loyalt y is the #1 quality that most men want in a long-term girlfriend or wife? That comes above looks, sex appeal, intelligence, sense of humor, and many other desirable qualities. The vast majority of men in society place a high premium on honest y and loyalty. Many men feel that without honesty and loyalty, there is no point of even entering into a long-term relationship or marriage. When we read newspapers, magazines, listen to talk radio shows and watch television talk shows, you would get the impression that ninety percent of cheating and adultery is committed by men. If you do indeed believe that men cheat significantly more than women, you are more naïve and gullible as a man (or woman) than I would have ever imagined. Remember ... get that alarm clock fixed so you can wake up out of your world of delusion. I remember once I was interviewed on this national talk radio show, and I was a guest along with at least two licensed psychologists (both women) and one other male guest. The subject was “Why do women cheat?” All the other guests kept offering comments such as, “When men cheat, it is strictly for sex, but when women cheat, it is because their husband or boyfriend is not giving them enough love and attention, and they want to fill their emotional void … blah, blah, blah.” Really? Are you serious?? I was the only guest who was bold enough to say that women cheat on men for the same reason that men cheat on women: enjoyable and sat isfying sex. It has very little to do with any sort of “emotional void.” That is straight-up B.S. Women get horny just like men do. When their sexual urges and needs are not being satisfied, or cannot be satisfied by their spouses or romantic companions, they look elsewhere. Women can fill an emotional void with a good hobby or the companionship of a male platonic friend who is willing to be their gossip buddy and empathetic listening ear. They do not need to have sex with another man to fill an "emotional void." Every time I hear that offered as a justification for women cheating, I just want to slap the expert who is expressing that invalid garbage.

Men, I am going to keep it 100% real with you. Many women in society want you to naively believe that they are not as interested in sexual enjoyment and satisfaction in the same manner that men are. Please do not believe this crazy myth. Women love to be pleased and satisfied in bed on a regular basis just like men do. Do you know there are 2-3 times more nerve endings in a woman’s clitoris than there are in the head of a man’s penis? That means, when you stimulate a woman’s clitoris, and bring her to orgasm, she is experiencing more joy and excitement than the average man does. On top of that, women have what is known as a “G-Spot.” More pleasure for them. Many women can have up to five orgasms in the same span of time that it might take for a man to have just one. More pleasure for them. Do not be fooled by nonsense. At least half of the reason why many women choose to “pretend” like they are not into sex as much as men is because many women end up in relationships and marriages with men who they are not really attracted to sexually, or who fail to please and satisfy them in bed. The reason why the female sex toy business is a multi-million dollar industry is because most men do not handle their business in the bedroom. Ready for yet another one of my “Top 5” lists? Here would be Alan Roger Currie’s Top Five Reasons why t he vast majorit y of women cheat on t heir husbands, fiancés, or boyfriends: 1. The woman never wanted to or expected to have enjoyable or satisfying sex with a man from t he beginning. The woman is dating the man or married to the man because of his level of career success, his level of wealth and financial generosity, his funny and entertaining personality, or if nothing else, none of the men who the woman truly wanted to marry or be in a long-term relationship with wanted to marry or be in a relationship with her; 2. They enjoy having sex with their boyfriend or husband, but he does not have sex with the woman frequently enough. She wants to have sex four or five times per week, but her romantic companion or spouse only wants to have sex four or five times per month, if not less; 3. The woman was celibate prior to entering into a relationship with the man or marrying the man, but once they had sex, she found that this man was unable to please her or satisfy her to her desired expectations; Either he is too “basic, conventional, and prudish,” or he just does not know how to use his penis or his mouth to bring her to orgasm; 4. The woman enjoys having sex with her boyfriend or husband, but deep-down, that woman is still in love with a former spouse, an ex-boyfriend, or a casual lover from her past, and this “ex” knows that he still has an emotional hold on her, and he also knows how to push the “right buttons” to get her hot and horny, and she ends up having regular, semiregular, or occasional trysts with this man 5. Similar to reason #4, the woman does enjoy having sex with her boyfriend or husband, but a new and different guy she meets ends up being so smooth, so seductive, and so irresistibly charming, that she just cannot pass up the opportunity to have at least a onenight stand or a weekend fling with this highly appealing man Each and every woman I know, who has cheated on her boyfriend, fiance, or husband, cheated on him for one or more of these five listed reasons. No exceptions. You want to know when your eyes get really opened to the scandalous, cunning ways of women who cheat? It’s when you have been in the role of “t he ot her guy.” You see, if the only romantic and sexual interaction you have ever had with a woman is by being a woman’s boyfriend, husband, or platonic friend, that is when you are not going to really see the “true colors” of a woman who is likely to cheat. Women reveal their real self to you fairly quickly when you are “the other guy.” They will tell you things that their husbands or boyfriends do not know, and probably will never know. To this day, I know secrets about women that their boyfriends, fiancés, husbands, close girlfriends,

or even some of their own brothers and sisters do not know. When you are “the other guy,” women are not trying to impress you, nor are they putting on a façade with you. Frankly, I am not proud of my days being “the other guy.” Did I have fun sexually with many women? Yes. Starting with as early as my senior year in high school, all the way up until approximately my mid-thirties, I have many times starred in the role of “the other guy” with women who were willing to cheat. Now and days, I have too much respect for my fellow men and the other members of my gender to disrespect them like that. I am a firm believer in karma, and what goes around … usually comes back around. I feel like if I have sex with another man’s girlfriend or wife, the same thing will happen to me when I am married or in a relationship. Starting with my mid-thirties, the most I have been guilty of is having hot, kinky phone sex with a handful of women who had a boyfriend, a fiancé, or a husband. No physical sex though. When I was in my late teens, twenties, and early-to-mid thirties, I would estimate that no less than 15-20% of the women who I had sex with were women who already had a boyfriend, a fiancé, or a husband. I have heard men say to me, “Alan, I am convinced that men are two to three times hornier than women.” In what world? I hate to bruise your ego, but I am going to keep it real with you. If a woman behaves like she is not interested in having sex with you, that simply means that you do not turn her on. End of story. When a woman is in the company of a guy who already has satisfied her in bed, or she is confident will satisfy her in bed in the near future, she will let that man know that she is horny and available for sex. The main reason I know the top five most valid reasons why women cheat is because I tend to literally ask them. A large percentage of the time that I have had sex with a woman who already had a companion, I would ask them bluntly, “Why did you agree to have sex with me?” What’s funny is, usually it was t hem who init iat ed t he int eract ion. I said this on my talk radio show one time: women in relationships are many times your horniest, most aggressive women. No joke. I can name many times I have had women with boyfriends, fiancés, or husbands literally just “throw it” at me. The worst ‘stalker’ I ever had in my life was a woman who was married. I once had a ménage-a-trois with two women, and one of the two women was engaged and the other had a boyfriend. Talk about scandalous? Trust me fellas … some women can be a trip. Going back to my Top 5 Reasons Why Women Cheat , I will start with reason #5, and move all the way up to reason #1. Reason #5: I know from experience that many men who are married or in a relationship sometimes will run across a woman that is so attractive, so sexy, and so irresistible, that they say to themselves, “I have to have this woman for just one night! Just one night. No long-term affair, or no ‘mistress’ situation … but just one night.” They might be on a business trip, or their girlfriend or wife might be out of town for the weekend. Well, you have heard the old adage, “What’s good for the goose, is good for the gander.” If you have a wife or girlfriend who is attractive and sexy, more-than-likely she is going to attract some flirtatious attention from other men. Your wife or girlfriend might be able to resist 49 out of every 50 men who flirt with her and approach her, but there is always going to be that one guy who is very tempting for her. Sometimes, it might be because he caught her at the right time in the right mood. Other times, it might be because this guy is very handsome, smooth, and knows how to “talk that talk.” In some instances, it could be a celebrity who she has always had a 'crush' on. What is funny to me is how many men will say, “No, my woman would never cheat on me. I

know this for a fact!” Okay, if you say so. If that makes you sleep better at night, go for it. But make sure you get that alarm clock fixed. If you are married to, or in a relationship with a woman who has no problem “hiding stuff,” and keeping secrets to herself, there is at least a 5% - 10% chance that your girlfriend or wife is going to cheat on you occasionally, and more-than-likely, you will never find out about it. If you are a woman reading this, this is why many men will ask their girlfriends, “Have you ever had sex with a guy that you just met?” Or, “Have you ever had sex with a guy within 24-48 hours after you met him?” Men want to know if you are the type of woman who can be quickly and easily seduced by a man who you find to be handsome, seductive, and charming. I know a lot of men who just flat-out do not trust any woman who informs them that they have had sex with a man within less than 48 hours after they met them. They feel like those women are the most likely to cheat on them in a long-term relationship or marriage. And ... to some extent ... they are right. Not in all cases, but a lot of them. Usually, if a woman does not cheat regularly, she feels so bad and guilty about her unexpected one-night stand or weekend fling that she commits herself to not ever doing it again, which is a good thing. I have had some women tell me that their husbands or boyfriends purposely tried to keep them fat and unattractive so that other men would not flirt with them. Honestly, an act of flirting is usually how cheating starts. Real talk. If you find out that your woman cheated on you one or two times, I say if you really, truly love her … forgive her. Forget about it and move on. If she promises you that it will never happen again, 99% chance, she is probably telling the truth. Reason #4: I am not going to lie … this one hits close to home for me. I have been on bot h sides of this coin. I can think of at least four or five times when I had sex with an ex-girlfriend or former casual sex lover during a period of time when she had a boyfriend, was engaged, or married. On the flip side, I can name at least once when I had a girlfriend cheat on me with an exboyfriend. If you are a woman reading this book, I am going to tell you something. A lot of women will ask me, “Alan, why do men want to know if you have had sex with other men before them, or why do they want to know how many men, or why do they want to know the specific acts, etc. Why is that?” There are a number of reasons, but I can tell you at least one reason. When you are the former spouse, the ex-boyfriend, or at minimum, the man who “turned that woman out” (i.e., the first man to get the woman to move from a “prudish” state of mind to a more “kinky, freaky, open-minded” state of mind) you are always going to have a certain degree of influence over that woman. And men know this. There are really only two times a woman is going to be able to resist you if you have already had sex with that woman: 1) if she is really, truly deeply in love with her new husband or companion, and she cannot fathom the idea of cheating on him, or 2) her new husband or companion is so significantly better in bed, or kinkier in bed, than her former spouse, exboyfriend, or lover from the past. Other than those two reasons, an “ex” is always going t o know what “hot but t ons” t o push. If you are the “new man,” you are just taking the time to learn what really turns this woman on sexually. The “ex” already knows. He knows her inside and out. The number one time I know I still have influence on a woman is when she says very slowly and softly, “No Alan … please …. please don’t. Please don’t tempt me….” At that point, having sex with my exgirlfriend or ex-lover is like taking candy from a baby. This is why a lot of men want to marry virgins. Many men do not want to be in a situation where they know their sexual prowess is being compared to a former spouse, ex-boyfriend, or casual sex lover from the past. The reality is, if I have sex with my new girlfriend, and let’s say she has had fourteen lovers

prior to me, then that means I could end up being ranked as high as #1 out of her 15 lovers, or I could end up ranked as low as #15 out of fifteen. If that woman in her mind, say, ends up ranking me as the fifth best lover she has ever had, then that means there as many as four of her former lovers who could potentially “talk that talk” to her, push some “hot buttons,” and get her to have sex with them again. Any man who is not egotistically secure and confident in his sexual prowess is always going to be paranoid once he knows his new girlfriend had her world rocked in bed by a former spouse or companion. This is the number one reason why many men do not want to have a long-term monogamous relationship with a woman who has a “promiscuous past.” It’s not because they look at that woman as any less attractive than a less promiscuous woman, or any less enjoyable to be around than a less promiscuous woman, or that they look at the promiscuous woman as a “bad person” per se, but more than anything else, men are very egotistically competitive, and many of them are also very egotistically insecure. Most men do not want to fathom that one of a woman's past lovers was, and still is, more satisfying than him in bed. Very few men want to feel like they are a woman’s second best lover, third best lover, fourth best lover, or lower. Men love to be “#1”. Why do you think men love athletic competition so much? So they can have bragging rights. So they can look into a television camera and say, “I’m #1!!” When you go into a situation knowing ahead of time that a woman thinks another man is a better lover than you (because she was bold enough to confess that to you), then it is at least halfway easy to deal with. But when you are under the impression that you are your girlfriend or wife’s favorite lover, only to find out later that she has been cheating with her ex-boyfriend or former husband behind your back because she views him as more satisfying than you? That is ext remely devast at ing t o a man’s ego and self-est eem. I will say this from one man to all the other men reading this: Do not hesitate to ask women about their sexual past. Many women do not like this, but if you are in a serious relationship with a woman, or on the verge of entering into one, you have the right to find out if your new girlfriend or soon-to-be-girlfriend still “carries a torch” for one or more of her former lovers. I have one good male friend who told me flat-out, “I do not allow my wife to have phone conversations or face-to-face conversations with men she used to be sexually intimate with. Call me jealous, possessive, insecure … I don’t care. But I do not allow it.” If a woman’s former lover is equally as good as you, or maybe even “slightly better,” nine times out of ten she is not going to cheat on you. On the other hand, if you only bring a woman to orgasm an average of once per night, but her ex-boyfriend used to bring her to orgasm an average of four or five times per night? Uh oh. This is a situation where there is a high percentage chance that your new girlfriend or new wife is going to cheat on you with her ex. Real t alk. Reason #3: In September 2011, I interviewed a relationship expert by the name of Dr. Veronica Anderson, and Dr. Anderson actually encouraged women to have sex with men as early as the first date. As you know, most women are vehemently against having sex that quickly with a man who they look at as their future boyfriend or husband. Dr. Anderson’s main reasoning was, why should a woman spend days, weeks, months, and/or years developing an “emotional bond” with a man when she has no idea if she and that man will have any sexual chemistry or compatibility? This is why a lot of women I know personally are against the idea of premarital celibacy or abstinence. Their attitude is, “I have to see what he’s working with, and how well he works [his penis] before I say ‘I do’ … I cannot be married to a man who does not satisfy me in bed.” I had a woman call into my show and confess that she married a man who ended up disappointing her in bed. She said she met a man who she really liked and grew to care for, but she committed herself to waiting until marriage to have sex.

Unfortunately, she said as quickly as the first week or two into her marriage, she knew her husband was not going to keep her satisfied sexually. What are some of the factors that contribute to a woman feeling sexually unsatisfied? It ranges from woman to woman, but here would be - you guessed it - my TOP FIVE reasons why women have told me they were left feeling unsatisfied in bed: 1. The man had poor stamina / premature ejaculation problems / impotence problems / erectile dysfunction problems 2. The man was too basic, too conventional, and/or too prudish in bed 3. The man was not into (giving) oral sex 4. The man had a penis that was too long, too short, too thick, or not thick enough 5. The man was more into watching pornography than he was into having sex with his girlfriend or wife There are a number of other reasons that women could probably list, but what I have listed has usually been the top five most frequently issued reasons for a woman feeling unsatisfied in bed. Hands down, stamina / premature ejaculation / impotence / erectile dysfunction problems is #1. I have had a lot of women tell me, “Alan, I was in love with him … but he couldn’t get it up on a regular basis.” Why do you think drugs like Viagra® , Cialis® , and Levitra® are so popular with men these days? The second issue is probably the one I have taken advantage of the most when I have been “the other man.” More than any of the other five reasons above, the #1 reason why I was usually able to get a woman to cheat on her boyfriend or husband and have sex with me was because of how kinky I was, how erotically dominant I was, and my talent for “erotic dirty talk.” When I was young, I used to think that all men were just as kinky, if not kinkier than me, only to find out as I have gotten older that it is almost just the opposite. Many women have complained to me about having a boyfriend or husband that was “prudish,” “too conservative,” or simply “boring” in bed. Fellas, you have to be just as kinky or kinkier than your wife or girlfriend. I am telling you this man to man. If you are a prude, but your woman is kinky and freaky, nine times out of ten, you are going to get cheated on. Trust me on this. I respect women out of the bedroom, but I know how to treat a woman like a “porno movie slut” in the bedroom, which is how most women want to be treated in the bedroom! I am never, ever "conservative" or "prudish" in bed. Especially verbally. At the risk of being perceived as “tooting my own horn” here, I would say that no less than four out of every five women I have had sex with told me that I was the most “verbally kinky” lover they have ever had and their best lover in terms of “erotic dirty talk.” I have made some women have more orgasms via phone sex than I have during physical sex because of my “talking dirty” skills. Fellas … learn how to “talk that talk.” It can only help you. As far as #3, if your woman wants you to please her and satisfy her with your mouth, you have to do it. You just have to (unless she has some sort of “hygiene” problems, then you need to talk with her and get that fixed!). I do not believe I have never failed to bring a woman to orgasm with my mouth, lips and tongue. Once you learn how to do that, it’s easy to bring a woman to orgasm. #4, for the most part, is out of your control. I say, do not worry about your penis size. You have what you have. You cannot make your penis longer, shorter, thicker, or slimmer. You have what you have. All those pills you see advertised? They do not do jack to help you. Your only other option is to go to an adult toy store, and maybe try out what is known as a “cock ring” (it adds more girth to your penis) or a “penis extender” (it adds more length with a prosthetic).

Again, don’t trip too much on size. I know women who have cheated on their boyfriends with me, and they confessed to me that their boyfriend had a penis that was either longer than mine, thicker than mine, or both. So if size was everything, why would a woman cheat on her more well-endowed man with me? One woman when I was in my mid-twenties told me straight up, “Alan, my live-in companion is both longer than you and thicker than you….” I said, “Wow. Then why in the hell are you having sex with me regularly?” She said, “Because you know how to work your [penis] better than he does.” I had a woman tell me recently that her best lover was not the man with the longest penis she had experienced or the thickest penis she had experienced. She said her best lover’s penis was “slightly above average.” She said he knew how to stroke her vagina, he knew how to gyrate his hips in just the right way, and he was just very erotic and kinky in bed. Bottom line, size is important to some women … but not all women. It just depends. Sometimes size works against men. I have had women tell me that they actually lost int erest in a guy because his penis was just too long and/or too thick. They told me that if a penis is too big, it causes more pain than pleasure during sex. Trojan condoms® says that the average length for a man’s penis is approximately five-and-a-half to six inches, and the average circumference / girth is approximately four-and-a-half to five inches. If you are larger than those numbers, you are cool. If you are smaller than those numbers, do not worry about it. Remember: you have what you have. Make the most of it. Finally, lay off the Internet porn. Did you see the film Shame with Actor Michael Fassbender? It is a really good film with a high degree of realism. It is about a man who is addicted to strippers, prostitutes, professional Call Girls, and pornography. Fassbender’s character is just an overall “sex addict.” The saddest scene is when he wants to make love to this Black female co-worker of his who he is really attracted to, but he cannot maintain an erection. Another similar film, but this one is more of a lighthearted romantic comedy, is called Love, Sex, and Eating the Bones starring Actor Hill Harper. It’s about a guy who watches a lot of porn, but then he meets his “dream girl,” and finds that he cannot maintain an erection with his new girlfriend unless a porn movie is playing in the background. Obviously, this causes problems with his new girl. The movie is funny, but it also serves as a “cautionary tale” for men who like to watch way too much porn. It’s okay to watch porn occasionally, if that is what you are into, but when you watch it weekly or daily, and you start masturbating too much, it is going to have a negative effect on your ability to get turned on by your girlfriend or wife, and maintain an erection. I know women who have actually divorced their husbands because of the man's porn-addiction. Reason #2: The second most reason why women end up cheating on their boyfriends or husbands is simply because those men are not having sex with them enough. Some women are insatiable, and they need a man who can keep up. I have had women who cheated with me who said, “My boyfriend is good in bed, but he only has sex with me two or three times per month.” More than likely, when a woman is cheating on a man because he doesn’t lay the pipe enough, it’s usually because her male companion is cheating on her (unless he just has a very low libido / sex drive). Sometimes, it is because the boyfriend or husband is so overweight now and out-of-shape, that his level of stamina and sexual endurance has significantly diminished. One motivation to eat right, exercise, and stay in shape. I once met a woman in Los Angeles who said her husband just blatantly started denying her sex because he was angry that she talked him into moving into a new, bigger, and more expensive house. He denied her sex for as long as three or four months. I was just interviewed on a radio show for Howard University (WHUR) where a woman said her husband had sex with

her very, very infrequently. She said she was very sexually frustrated. Fellas, I say this: if you have totally lost interest in having sex with your wife or girlfriend, you should go ahead and end the relationship. That is highly unfair for you to withhold sex from your girlfriend or wife, or sex your woman up only on occasion because you are lazy. If you are not keeping your woman happy and satisfied in bed ... trust me, your wife or girlfriend is going to cheat, and I do not blame her at all. I do not like liars, and I despise cheaters, but if you have the tools to satisfy your woman, but you are just not using them, that is inexcusable. Please and satisfy your woman’s vagina whenever she needs it. Otherwise, your relationship will grow sour in no time. Reason #1: The reason I ranked #1 is probably going to be an eye-opener for many naïve type men reading this book. I almost hate to be the one to bring this news to you, and potentially break your heart if you are a young man who is extremely inexperienced with women. Here is the deal: Some women do not enter into a relationship with you, or agree to marry you, because they find you sexually attractive. Some women I have talked to or read about find their boyfriends or husbands to be totally unappealing in bed. I will never forget when I met this woman in the late 1990s, and she told me that she knew on her wedding day that she was not attracted to her husband sexually. I asked, “Well why did you marry him?” She said, “Because he had a good job, he earned good money, and he offered to take care of me (financially).” I cannot begin to tell you how many women have shared with me that they knew beginning with the first day of their relationship, or the first day of their marriage, that they were not really attracted to their boyfriends or husbands sexually. Matter of fact, two of the four previous women I described in Part Two of this book tend to sometimes fall in this category. There was a couple once on The Dr. Phil Show named "Kim" and "Cliff." The couple had gotten into a form of polyamorous dating known as "swinging" and "couple swapping." The problem was, Cliff wanted to have sex with his wife Kim, but she admitted on national television that she found her husband totally unappealing and unsatisfying in bed. I felt sorry the guy. I could tell Dr. Phil even felt sorry for the guy. Dr. Phil was surprised that he was willing to remain in the marriage. The wife said she loved all of her husband's non-sexual qualities and attributes, but she did not want to have sex with them. Most men would be surprised how many married women in society are similar to Kim. For example, gold diggers. Many gold digger types do not marry men because they are genuinely attracted to their husbands physically and sexually. This is one of the reasons actually why I suggest they be avoided. The other group of women who I already described that fall into this category are the misandrist s. The vast majority of misandrist types that choose to get married are not really interested in having sex with their husbands. They do not even respect their husbands. If a misandrist is bisexual or a “closet lesbian,” she is going to cheat with another woman. In some cases, she will cheat with a man who is more of an “Alpha male” type as compared to her “Beta male” type husband. As I said earlier in the book, anytime you have to “beg” your wife or girlfriend for sex on a regular basis, or spend money on her or perform “favors” for her in order for her to agree to have sex with you, then this is the first sign that something is wrong. When a woman is truly, genuinely into you sexually, you will never have to “beg” or plead with her for sex. She will spread those legs for you with a quickness. I hate liars, and I despise cheaters. That goes for both men and women. If you are constantly catching a woman in lie after lie after lie, cut her loose. That is a no good woman. Lies always come back to bite you in the butt. Always. Cheaters always get found

out sooner or later. Remember: what goes around, comes around. Karma always evens things out. I hope Part Two will help a lot of men who are married, engaged, or romantically involved better identify some of the characteristics in women I have explained and discussed in the last five chapters. An uncle once told me, "Son ... marriage is either going to be heaven or hell for you, depending on the quality of woman you choose. You choose the right woman, marriage is going to be the closest thing you ever experience to heaven on earth. You choose the wrong woman, and marriage will quickly become the closest thing you will ever experience to hell on earth. When thinking of marriage, please choose wisely." Take heed to this advice my friend. Choose wisely.

Wrap Up & Final T houghts On the surface, this is going to be perceived by readers as a book that is targeted at criticizing women for exhibiting behavior that is dishonest, misleading, disrespectful, manipulative, and just undesirable in general. To a degree, this is a valid perception. The main reason I wrote this book is because I found that there are very few books written by authors that criticize women’s behavior toward men in today’s dating scene. The vast majority of books that are available in the “Love and Sex” category or “Dating and Relationships” genre tend to offer far more criticisms of men’s behavior toward women in today's dating scene than vice versa. You will find that when you really carefully examine the contents of this book, this is really more so a book that criticizes men for allowing women to exhibit the various types of behavior mentioned above. There is a well-known adage that goes, “Fool me once, shame on you … fool me twice, shame on me.” For those unfamiliar with this adage, what that saying means is, “If you exhibit behavior that I don’t particularly care for one time … then the only reason I allowed it is because I did not see it coming. You caught me off guard. I assumed you would exhibit behavior that was more desirable, more respectful, and more mutually beneficial. But if you are able to exhibit behavior that I do not care for two or more times, then the blame and criticism falls on my shoulders for allowing you to exhibit such behavior.” I love this adage because it is so true and so valid. I am going to take the liberty to modify that adage ever so slightly. My variation would be, “Fool me once, you caught me off guard; Fool me t wice, I gave you t he benefit of t he doubt ; Fool me t hree or more t imes, t hen I’m t he fool.” What I did is simply give men (and women) one additional chance to evaluate a person’s behavior. If someone exhibits undesirable behavior toward me once, I can offer the excuse that I did not see it coming. If someone exhibits undesirable behavior toward me twice, I can offer the excuse that I thought the first instance was just an “accident,” an anomaly, or that person experiencing a “bad day,” and I gave them the benefit of the doubt that their behavior would change or improve soon. If that person is able to exhibit undesirable behavior toward me three or more times, then I have no excuse. I should have known better, and consequently, the full blame is on me for allowing such behavior. Men always want to express harsh criticisms of women’s behavior toward them, and women always want to express harsh criticisms of men’s behavior toward them, but the reality is, if anyone is exhibiting behavior that you very much do not care for three or more times, on a regular basis, that is on you for allowing it. One will usually have a relationship with one or both of their parents indefinitely, and one will usually have a relationship with one or more of their children indefinitely, but you do not have to tolerate any undesirable or disrespectful behavior from a romantic companion, platonic friend, or spouse indefinitely. If you genuinely feel as though you are receiving the short end of the stick in a relationship ... end it . Stop “whining and complaining” about the behavior of the opposite sex, and spend more time concentrating on the behavior t hat you allow. In respect to the women I described in Part One of this book, the primary message to the men is quit allowing women to converse with you in a manner that is very vague, ambiguous, and indecisive. Start putting women in a position where they are forced to give you either a definite “yes, I am interested in having sex with you” response or a definite “no, I am not interested in having sex with you” response when it comes to their sexual desires, interests, and intentions. That is the Mode One way. This cuts out 90-100% of the B.S. and the manipulative "head games."

Women ... quit trying to take advantage of horny and/or wealthy men. You are going to play games with the wrong man on the wrong day, and you are going to suffer some very unpleasant consequences. Men and women do not like to have their emotions toyed with or their egos blatantly disrespected. If you want to have sex with a man ... tell him. If you do not wish to have sex with a man .... tell him. End of story. When thinking of the women I described in Part Two of this book, my primary message to men is to stop allowing your fascination with women’s physical appearance and sexual prowess to cause you to confuse “true love” with mere infatuation. Good looks and sex appeal are not valid qualifications for a wife or long-term girlfriend. Casual sex lover? Yes. Long-term monogamous romantic companion or spouse? No. You want a woman with substance, and that will always have your back. Much love and respect to everyone who supports my writings and teachings, and adheres to the knowledge and wisdom I choose to share with the public and the world. It is truly a joy for me help any man improve his interpersonal communications skills and overall level of confidence with women. That is very gratifying for me. I very much appreciate all of the positive feedback and kudos I receive from men and women all across the world. Moooooooooooooooooooooooooode Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooone. Make it happen baby. Good luck my friend. .

Movies T hat I Recommend Watching T hat are Related to the Contents of this Book Am e rican Be aut y (1999) – Kevin Spacey, Annette Bening Bad T e ache r (2011) – Camero n Diaz, Justin Timberlake, Jaso n Segal Blue Vale nt ine (2010) – Ryan Go sling, Michelle Williams Bo dy He at (1981) – William Hurt, Kathleen Turner Chasing Am y (1997) – Ben Affleck, Jaso n Lee, Jo ey Lauren Adams Clo se r (2004) – Clive Owen, Julia Ro berts, Jude Law, Natalie Po rtman Co m ing t o Am e rica (1988) – Eddie Murphy, Arsenio Hall Fat al At t ract io n (1987) – Michael Do uglass, Glenn Clo se Havo c (2005) – Anne Hathaway, Bijo u Phillips, Jo seph Go rdo n-Levitt I T hink I Lo ve My Wife (2007) – Chris Ro ck, Kerry Washingto n, Gina To rres Lo ve , Se x, and Eat ing t he Bo ne s (2003) – Hill Harper, Marlyne Barrett Play Mist y fo r Me (1971) – Clint Eastwo o d, Jessica Walter

Pre t t y Pe rsuasio n (2005) – Evan Rachel Wo o d, Ro n Livingsto n Sham e (2011) – Michael Fassbender, Carey Mulligan She Hat e Me (2004) – Antho ny Mackie, Kerry Washingto n She ’s Go t t a Have it (1986) – Tracy Camilla Jo hns, Spike Lee Spre ad (2009) – Ashto n Kutcher, Anne Heche T alk Dirt y t o Me (1980) [Note: X-rated] – Jo hn Leslie, Richard Pacheco T alk Dirt y t o Me , Part II (1983) [Note: X-rated] – Jo hn Leslie, Bridgette Mo net T he Last Am e rican Virgin (1982) – Lawrence Mo no so n, Diane Franklin Unfait hful (2002) – Richard Gere, Diane Lane Vicky Crist ina Barce lo na (2008) – Javier Bardem, Scarlett Jo hansso n

About the Author

Alan Ro ger Currie was bo rn and raised in Gary, Indiana and graduated fro m Indiana University in Blo o mingto n, IN. Currie is currently the Ho st o f two talk radio po dcast pro grams entitled, Upfront & Straightforward with Alan Roger Currie and The Erotic Conversationalist. Currie has been interviewed a number o f times o n lo cal, regio nal and natio nal talk radio sho ws and televisio n talk sho ws. Currie was vo ted the To p Speaker and Mo st Info rmative Presenter at The Direct Approach Dating Summit UK in Lo ndo n, England (No vember 2010), and The Direct Approach Dating Summit USA in Las Vegas, NV (March 2012) in a survey by many o f the men who attended bo th events. Currie co nducts Skype® co nsultatio ns and One-o n-One co aching sessio ns with men and wo men fro m vario us co untries all o ver the wo rld. Currie lo ves to split his time between the Chicago land / NW Indiana regio n and So uthern Califo rnia. In his spare time, Currie enjo ys reading, watching quality films, and eating Caribbean Jerk chicken wings and drinking Peach Snapple.

Table of Contents About the Book ACKNOWLEDGMENTS TABLE OF CONTENTS Introduction Preface: An experience in a los angeles church woke me up PART ONE: Chapter One-Women who want you to become their personal "ego & SELFESTEEM booster" Chapter Two- Women who want you to become their "personal entertainer" and/OR "platonic boyfriend" Chapter THREE-Women who want you to become their "Male Girlfriend" and provide them with an "empathetic listening ear" Chapter FOUR- Women who want you to become their PLATONIC "Sugar Daddy' and help them out when they need a favor PART TWO: Chapter Five- I JUST WANT YOUR MONEY:The Very SEASONED, Savvy Gold Digger Chapter Six- MAN THIEVES: The women who want to steal you away from a good wife or girlfriend Chapter Seven- Drama Queens: Women who love to NAG YOU AND argue just for the sake of arguing Chapter Eight -The Misandrist: I DON'T NEED A MAN, BUT IF YOU bow down and worship me, I WILL HAVE SEX WITH YOU Chapter Nine- LIARS & CHEATERS:Women who are pathologically dishonest and disloyal, or extremely fickle Wrap Up & Final Thoughts Movies i recommend watching that are related to the contents of this book About the Author Introduction Preface: An Experience in PART ONE: “I Don’t Want to Have Sex with You, But That Doesn’t Mean That I Don’t Want You to Try to Get in My Pants!!” Chapter One Women who want you to become their personal “Ego & Self-Esteem Booster” Chapter Two Women who want you to become their “Personal Entertainer” and/or “Platonic Boyfriend” Chapter Three Women who want you to become their “Male Girlfriend” and provide them with an "Empathetic Listening Ear" Chapter Four Women who want you to become their informal “Sugar Daddy” and help them out whenever they need a favor PART TWO: These Women May Agree to Have Sex with You, but in the Long-Run, They Should Still be Avoided Chapter Five Women to Avoid #1: The Seasoned, Savvy Gold Digger Chapter Six Women to Avoid #2: Women who will try to “steal a man away”

from his wife or long-term girlfriend Chapter Seven Women to Avoid #3: Women who are major “Drama Queens” who love to nag men and argue with men for no valid or productive reason Chapter Eight Women to Avoid #4: The Misandrist: I will have sex with you (occasionally), but deep-down, I hate you and all men Chapter Nine Women to Avoid #5: Women who are pathologically dishonest and disloyal, or at minimum, extremely fickle Wrap Up & Final Thoughts Movies I Recommend That Relate to the Contents of this Book American Beauty (1999) – Kevin Spacey, Annette Bening Bad Teacher (2011) – Cameron Diaz, Justin Timberlake, Jason Segal Body Heat (1981) – William Hurt, Kathleen Turner Blue Valentine (2010) – Ryan Gosling, Michelle Williams Chasing Amy (1997) – Ben Affleck, Jason Lee, Joey Lauren Adams Closer (2004) – Clive Owen, Julia Roberts, Jude Law, Natalie Portman Coming to America (1988) – Eddie Murphy, Arsenio Hall Fatal Attraction (1987) – Michael Douglass, Glenn Close I Think I Love My Wife (2007) – Chris Rock, Kerry Washington, Gina Torres Love, Sex, and Eating the Bones (2003) – Hill Harper, Marlyne Barrett Pretty Persuasion (2005) – Evan Rachel Wood, Ron Livingston Shame (2011) – Michael Fassbender, Carey Mulligan She Hate Me (2004) – Anthony Mackie, Kerry Washington She’s Gotta Have it (1986) – Tracy Camilla Johns, Spike Lee Spread (2009) – Ashton Kutcher, Anne Heche Talk Dirty to Me (1980) [Note: X-rated] – John Leslie, Richard Pacheco Talk Dirty to Me, Part II (1983) [Note: X-rated] – John Leslie, Bridgette Monet The Last American Virgin (1982) – Lawrence Monoson, Diane Franklin Unfaithful (2002) – Richard Gere, Diane Lane Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008) – Javier Bardem, Scarlett Johansson About the Author



Copyright © 2016 Alan Roger Currie ISBN: 978-0-98503-149-7 All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the author and/or Mode One Multimedia, Inc. Printed in the United States of America. Mode One Multimedia, Inc. 2016 http://www.directapproachdating.com http://www.modeone.net/training/

Other audiobooks, eBooks, and paperbacks by Author Alan Roger Currie: Mode One: Let the Women Know What You’re REALLY Thinking Mode One – HARDCORE (eBook only) Mode One – Semantics and Scenarios (eBook only) Oooooh . . . Say it Again: Mastering the Fine Art of Verbal Seduction and Aural Sex The Possibility of Sex: How Naïve and Lustful Men are Manipulated by Women Regularly (eBook and audiobook only) Upfront and Straightforward: Let the Manipulative Game Players Know What You’re REALLY Thinking (eBook and paperback only) © Forever88 | Dreamstime.com (top photo, front cover) © Maksim Toome | Shutterstock.com (bottom photo, front cover)



Alan Roger Currie Mode One Multimedia, Inc. Hollywood, CA 90046



ACKNOWLEDGMENTS Much love and appreciation to all of my family members, relatives, close friends and loyal supporters of all of my books and talk radio podcast programs. Special acknowledgment always goes to those in my close inner circle of friends, which includes among others, my older brother, Stephen C. Currie I have a lot of respect for a lot of my fellow authors, bloggers, and experts who have offered knowledge, wisdom, and advice to members of society in the area of dating, interpersonal relationships, marriage, seduction, sex, and other related fields. This list includes among others: Mumia Ali a.k.a. ‘Obsidian,’ Robert Beck a.k.a. ‘Iceberg Slim,’ Daniel Bergner, Dr. Brad Blanton, Stephanie Coontz, Dossie Easton, Dr. Warren Farrell, the late Dr. Sigmund Freud, Janet W. Hardy, the late Dr. Alfred Charles Kinsey, the late Dr. William Masters and his late wife, Virginia E. Johnson, Christina Milner, Dr. Richard Milner, Dr. Christopher Ryan, Dr. Helen Smith, Rollo Tomassi (pseudonym), Daryush ‘Roosh V’ Valizadeh, Esther Vilar, and David X. I have nothing but love for all of the men and women who have been loyal and enthusiastic readers of all of my eBooks and paperbacks, and also nothing but love for all of those who have taken the time out of their busy schedules to listen to multiple episodes of my talk radio podcast program, Upfront & Straightforward, my adults-only podcast program, The Erotic Conversationalist, as well as one or more of my various audiobooks that are currently available. I also want to offer a shout out to all of my male and female clients who feel that my knowledge, wisdom, and general advice has helped them experience a more enjoyable and satisfying love life, sex life, and overall social life. Your Email messages and Facebook inbox messages full of words of kudos and gratitude mean more to me than you’ll ever know. Thank you. Finally, I will always have fond memories of reading books at the Gary (Indiana) Public Library. I loved the Tolleston Branch and Woodson Branch. Reading is Fundamental!

http://www.rif.org/why-books-matter/books-beyond/



Table of Contents Copyright Page ACKNOWLEDGMENTS TABLE OF CONTENTS INTRODUCTION PREFACE PART ONE CHAPTER ONE CHAPTER TWO CHAPTER THREE PART TWO CHAPTER FOUR CHAPTER FIVE CHAPTER SIX CHAPTER SEVEN PART THREE CHAPTER EIGHT CHAPTER NINE CHAPTER TEN CHAPTER ELEVEN CHAPTER TWELVE CHAPTER THIRTEEN CHAPTER FOURTEEN CHAPTER FIFTEEN AUTHOR'S WRAP-UP & FINAL THOUGHTS OTHER BOOKS & RESOURCES I RECOMMEND ABOUT AUTHOR ALAN ROGER CURRIE

Introduction This book is going to be a departure from just about all of my previous eBooks, paperbacks, and audiobooks to date. In my previous books, my primary emphasis was on helping single heterosexual men improve their interpersonal communication skills with women, become better at ‘verbal seduction’ and ‘erotic dirty talk’ with women, and help men quickly and effectively identify the various forms of ‘manipulative head games’ that many women tend to employ in today’s dating scene. This book is more of a generalized, unscientific examination of why strictly monogamous marriages used to be appealing for men and women, why the concept of a strictly monogamous marriage has lost a lot of its previous appeal in today’s society among both many men and women, and what my strong opinion is on the future of strictly monogamous marriages in the upcoming decades and centuries. I do not possess a doctoral degree in counseling psychology or relationship therapy, so do not expect any ‘deep intellectual analysis’ of any sort in this book. I am also not a professional historian or sociologist of any sort by trade, so a lot of my historical facts and assertions may be challenged at some point or be perceived as being ‘too general’ or ‘too broad’ and not detailed or substantiated enough. I have no problem with that. This is a layman’s book. I am going to attempt as much as possible to avoid multiple uses of polysyllabic language, and speak to you using very simple, easy-to-understand terminology. In 2009, I was invited to teach an adult education college course at Indiana University Northwest in my hometown of Gary, Indiana entitled Dating for 21st Century Singles. The course lasted six weeks, and the length of each individual class was approximately three hours each. The woman who hired me told me at the time that I was the first person in the entire Indiana University college system to be hired to teach a course related to dating, relationships, sex, and interpersonal communication between the genders that was not an official part of the Gender Studies department, the Biology department, the Human Sexuality or Public Health department, the Psychology department, or the Sociology department.

If that is indeed a true and valid distinction, then of course I feel very honored, and I feel like a ‘pioneer’ of sorts within the Indiana University college system. I graduated from Indiana University with B.A. in Economics in 1992 with Dean’s List Scholar Honors (and I also completed one year of Indiana University’s Kelley School of Business Full-Time MBA Program, but I never returned to complete my second year). In addition to currently being a book author and public speaker, I currently work as a professional men’s dating coach (think Actor Will Smith’s character in the 2005 romantic comedy, Hitch) and I also work as a BDSM and Polyamory lifestyle advisor and consultant for married and unmarried couples who are looking to transition from a traditional monogamous marriage or romantic relationship to one that is openly polyamorous and/or involves a high degree of BDSM influenced ‘erotic role play.’ One confession I will offer upfront: When I read many reviews of paperbacks and Kindle eBooks on Amazon.com, some of the reviewers have expressed criticisms such as, “Save your money! This book is nothing more than a rehash of the author’s previous freelance articles, blog posts, internet message board comments and reply-comments, and podcast discussions and talking points. You can find all of those on the internet for free!!” Critics will probably express similar comments regarding this new eBook of mine. A lot of the contents of this book is not representative of “new, fresh knowledge and wisdom” from me. A lot of the content of this book comes from the aforementioned Dating for 21st Century Singles course I taught at IU Northwest in 2009, past freelance articles of mine from a men’s dating advice column I had on the Examiner.com between August 2009 and June 2015, past discussion topics from episodes of my talk radio podcast program on the BlogTalkRadio Internet Radio Network, and a handful of blog articles that I have written and posted on my main website, DirectApproachDating.com Here is the reality of the world we live in today: There are more men and women who are 35 years of age and older who have never been married and do not have any children than at any point in time in the history of the United States. As a guest on my talk radio show expressed in an episode a few years ago, this is the first time in history that there has been a significantly higher number of unmarried women than married women in this country. Many (heterosexual) women in today’s society are not married by choice.

Either because they have chosen to place more emphasis on their career pursuits or they just feel like marriage is simply not a priority for them. Then there are another group of women who still desire to get married and still hold out the hope of finding “Mr. Right” who will drop to one knee and propose to them, but their biological clock is ticking louder and louder with each year they advance past the age of thirty-five. Many men I have conversed with in the last fifteen years who are as young as eighteen and as old as their fifties have expressed to me that they have very little if any interest in getting married. Even many of the men who ideally would like to raise one or more children seem to display a very low interest in entering into a strictly monogamous marriage with a woman. To be quite frank, as of the writing of this book, I would place myself in that category as well. I am 53 years old, and I have never proposed to a woman who was a love interest of mine. Twice, I did at least entertain the thought of proposing to a girlfriend of mine – once when I was 21 and a second time years later when I was 46 – but as time passed in both cases, I decided against it. And I have no regrets on the decision I made in each case. At this time, I also have no children (that I know of). I did impregnate one of my former girlfriends, but she made a ‘choice’ that she felt was conducive to her objectives at the time. One of the biggest factors that has lowered my interest in marriage over the years is simply that I do not believe in what I refer to as ‘obligatory’ monogamy. I only believe in what I refer to as ‘natural’ and ‘organic’ monogamy. What is the primary difference between the two types of monogamy? If you are currently married, engaged, or involved in a long-term ‘boyfriend-girlfriend’ type romantic relationship, and you have pledged to your spouse, fiancé fiancée, boyfriend girlfriend that you have a strong desire to be faithfully monogamous for a long, indefinite period of time … but deep-down, you know you have engaged in sex with other partners during your marriage or relationship (i.e., you cheated or committed adultery behind your companion’s back) – or at minimum, you have come very, very close to cheating (and still maintain an extremely strong temptation to do so) – then that would represent that you are involved in an ‘obligatory monogamous’ situation. In other words, ‘obligatory’ monogamy represents when you really do not want to be monogamous to your spouse or romantic companion, but you feel like you ‘have to be’ or are ‘supposed to be’ in order to maintain the interest and

companionship of your spouse or romantic companion. ‘Natural’ or ‘organic’ monogamy would represent a situation where even if your spouse or romantic companion gave you permission to engage in sexual activities with other people, you would voluntarily choose to remain faithfully monogamous to your significant other indefinitely. Other than long-term strictly monogamous cohabitation relationships and marriages between men and women, there are also a) short-term monogamous relationships (what some refer to as being a 'serial monogamist'); b) long-term non-monogamous (what most refer to as 'Polyamory'); and short-term nonmonogamous (commonly referred to as being 'promiscuous'). There are some relationships that are not romantic or sexual in nature at all; we simply refer to those as 'purely platonic' relationships or 'friendships'. The reality is, in the 19th Century and roughly the first sixty years of the 20th Century, the 'strictly monogamous marriage' model was the only one that was universally accepted and approved of publicly in this country. Beginning with 1960 and lasting until 2016, there have now been a number of 'alternative' romantic and sexual relationships that have become very popular among many men and women in society. This paperback will attempt to enlighten you as to why many men have simply lost interest in the idea of entering into a strictly monogamous marriage or long-term romantic relationship with a woman ... and to a lesser extent, why even more and more women are choosing to remain an 'eternal bachelorette' throughout their entire adult life. I hope you find the book helpful and enlightening. Email me with questions and feedback at this Email address: [email protected] Continue reading my friend.

Preface: The Appeal of ‘Alpha’ vs. ‘Beta’ males, and How This Affects the Idea of Monogamy and Marriage For a lot of middle-class and upper class folk, here is the proverbial ‘script’ that many men and women look to adhere to: 1) Graduate from high school by no later than the age of 18; 2) Graduate from college by no later than the age of 24; 3) Get engaged or married by no later than the age of 29 (35 years of age at the absolute latest); 4) The man is the designated ‘leader’ and ‘breadwinner’ of the household, and he finds a job that earns him enough money to provide food, clothing, shelter, and transportation for his wife and children; The woman is the primary ‘nurturer’ and nanny of the household, and after giving birth to one or more children, she makes sure the house is kept clean and organized, her husband and children receive hot, nutritious meals, and that the children have access to the highest quality of pre-school, grade school, middle school, and high school education and she makes sure that the children take care of their designated chores and homework assignments; 5) Once their own children graduate from college or graduate school and get married, then their household is considered an ‘empty nest’ and the married couple grow old together (while enjoying the company of any grandchildren that are born) until they both pass away one day. This script was, for the most part, adhered to by many men and women beginning with the 18th Century (if not prior) all the way up until roughly the first 60 years of the 20th Century. There are at least a handful of couples who I know personally that followed chronological points #1, #2, #3, and #4 fully throughout their lives and marriages. Even for those married couples that chose to bypass college and university life, and chose instead to enter into the workforce immediately after high school,

many of these couples still generally adhered to this ‘life events script.’

LET’S VISIT A HYPOTHETICAL ISLAND FOR A MOMENT What if each and every woman in society firmly believed in only indulging in strictly monogamous sexual relationships with men? Would that benefit romantic relationships in society? Or would that hurt romantic relationships in society? What if each and every woman in society believed it was okay and acceptable to engage in promiscuous and/or polyamorous sexual relationships with men? Would that benefit romantic relationships in society? Or would that hurt romantic relationships in society? Imagine a scenario where a new social environment was being formed with one thousand single women who varied in age between as young as eighteen and no older than thirty-five; also, you had a random selection of one thousand single heterosexual men who varied in age between as young as eighteen and no older than thirty-nine. Now, imagine each group met up on an island (nicknamed “Monogamy Island”), and after a ‘meet and greet’ function, each member of both genders were given the rules of the island: Rule #1: You cannot engage in oral sex, anal sex, and vaginal intercourse with any member of the opposite sex for the very first time until you have been officially declared as ‘coupled up’ with a chosen member of the opposite sex; Every action by each man and woman on the island will be monitored by multiple security cameras as well as with GPS-oriented microchip tracking devices implanted underneath the skin of each and every man and woman on the island; Rule #2: Once you have been categorized as ‘coupled up’ with a chosen member of the opposite sex, you can only engage in sexual activities with that chosen companion, and no one else, for a minimum of one-hundred-and-eighty (180) days; If you violate this rule prior to your 180-day deadline, your status will return to ‘single and unattached again,’ and you will only be allowed to have sex with a member of the opposite sex who has also violated the 180-day minimum for sexual monogamy;

Rule #3: Every member of the opposite sex on the island will know when they interact with you exactly how many times you have violated Rule #2 and had your status changed from ‘coupled up’ to ‘single and unattached again’; Rule #4: Any man who impregnates a female companion must remain faithfully monogamous to that same companion until the day he passes away; If a man is caught even attempting to have sex with a woman who is not the mother of his children, he will be placed into the island prison, and never be allowed to engage in sexual relations with anyone for the remainder of his life; Similarly, any woman who is caught even attempting to have sex with a man who is not the biological father of her children will be placed into the island prison, and never be allowed to engage in sexual relations with anyone for the remainder of her life; Rule #5: Abortions are not allowed; Also, any incidents of rape, date-rape, or sexual assault are punishable by death Rule #6: No money is ever allowed to be exchanged on this island; All food, clothing, entertainment, shelter, and transportation is provided for each of the select members of this island; Rule #7: The longest you can remain on the island without ever have been chosen to be someone’s couple partner is twenty years. If no one has chosen you to be their exclusive romantic companion after a twenty-year period, you will be booted off of the island. Now, you have read all seven rules. If you fell into the appropriate age groups for each gender, would you be motivated to take up residence on this island? Especially if you were guaranteed to never experience any financial struggles or incidents of crime, violence, or poverty? Let’s first examine Rule #1. If this rule was rigidly enforced, what problems do you see arising from this rule? The first question you would probably end up asking in relation to Rule #1 would be, “Is there a maximum length for the ‘coupled up’ period if the female partner does not give birth to any children? Nine months? One Year? Two Years? Three Years? Five Years? Longer?” Let’s say there is no maximum period if the couple has no children born while they are together. What if one of the couples who resided on Monogamy Island got along very well when they were not engaged in sexual activities, but sadly, the couple

had very little if any sexual chemistry or compatibility? In contrast, what about if another couple that resided on the island has fantastic sexual chemistry and compatibility, but whenever they are not engaged in sexual activities, all they do is argue, argue, argue? Let’s say ‘Kevin’ and ‘Kimberly’ are the couple who have exceptional nonsexual chemistry and compatibility, but less-than-average sexual chemistry and compatibility. Then let’s say ‘Tyrone’ and ‘Tanya’ are the couple who have fantastic sexual chemistry and compatibility, but very disagreeable and highly argumentative non-sexual chemistry and compatibility. After his sexual monogamy minimum of 180 days with Tanya has expired, Monogamy Island resident Tyrone ends up crossing paths with Kimberly, and later, these two choose to 'couple up.' Tyrone and Kimberly enjoy fantastic and mind-blowing sex, but for Kimberly, her level of non-sexual chemistry and compatibility with Tyrone is not nearly as enjoyable as it was with Kevin. Consequently, every now and then, Kimberly finds herself missing the flattering and entertaining nature of Kevin’s accommodating personality and his nonsexual companionship. Similarly, once Kimberly decided to break things off with Kevin and connect with Tyrone for the next six months, Kevin ends up socially interacting with Tyrone’s former lover Tanya, and after a dozen or more ‘get to know each other’ dates, Kevin and Tanya choose to 'couple up.' Non-sexually, these two get along GREAT. Tanya gets along with Kevin ten times better than she did with Tyrone. These two have no arguments or disagreements with each other whatsoever. Unfortunately, Tanya finds herself reminiscing on the kinky and extremely enjoyable and satisfying sex she experienced with Tyrone quite frequently, despite the non-sexual differences and arguments the her and Tyrone experienced with each other. Marinate on that scenario for a few minutes. Next, let’s examine Rule #2. Despite having excellent non-sexual chemistry and compatibility with Kevin, Tanya reaches a point of sexual frustration that she simply cannot tolerate any longer. She ends up aggressively throwing herself at Tyrone, and lets him know that she wants to have sex with him behind Kevin’s back at least

occasionally. Tyrone knows that given the high level of security monitoring with cameras all over the island, not to mention the GPS tracking devices that have been implanted underneath their skin (these are referred to as ‘sexual interaction sensors’), he would never be able to get away with engaging in sex with Tanya behind Kimberly’s back without being caught by the Monogamy Island security personnel. Tyrone has no desire to return to the status of ‘single and unattached’ and be relegated to being limited to only being able to have sex with other ‘Sexual Monogamy Offenders.’ Ultimately, Tyrone rebuffs Tanya’s sexual advances, and chooses to remain monogamous with Kimberly until his 180-day minimum has expired. Now, Tanya is extremely agitated and sexually frustrated. She still thoroughly enjoys the company of Kevin non-sexually, but sexually, Tanya still yearns for the erotically dominant and uninhibited sexual companionship of Tyrone. Tanya knows if she communicates this to Kevin openly and honestly, there is a great chance that this will ruin her non-sexual chemistry and compatibility with Kevin, so Tanya decides to keep her insatiable lust for Tyrone only known to herself and Tyrone. Over a period of weeks, Kimberly finds herself constantly whining and complaining about Tyrone’s uncompromising dominance outside of the bedroom and also his blatant lack of enthusiasm toward engaging in conversation with her and spending time with her when the two are not engaged in sexual activities, but she is willing to tolerate it for the time being because he is providing her with what she feels is the kinkiest and most satisfying sex that she has ever experienced in her life. As you can surmise, both Kimberly and Tanya have reached a point of frustration in their relationships with Tyrone and Kevin respectively. One woman has a sexual problem in her relationships, and the other woman has a non-sexual problem. Marinate on this for a few minutes. Let’s take a quick look at Rule #3.

Because of Tyrone’s ability to exercise a high degree of sexual self-control and resist the sexual advances of his former companion Tanya, he can continue having sex with Kimberly for the next six months, and then after that, he can couple up with a brand new female sex companion who might possibly be a virgin. This is what keeps Tyrone motivated and self-disciplined. Kevin is the one who is ‘in the dark.’ Kevin thought everything was great with Kimberly, but she chose to break things off with him and connect with Tyrone, leaving him confused and heartbroken. Right now, Kevin also believes everything is totally okay with Tanya, but unbeknownst to him, Tanya is greatly missing the sexual companionship of Tyrone. If Tanya was to be forthright with Kevin about the fact that she misses the sexual companionship of Tyrone, how do you think Kevin would feel after finding this out? His ego would be deeply bruised and for the second time in a row, he would experience a woman breaking his heart. Tanya realizes how hurt Kevin would become, so she chooses to indefinitely keep her undying lust for Tyrone to herself. Think about Kevin’s situation for a minute or two. Now, let’s move on to the trickiest rule of all: Rule #4. Guess what? Tanya is now unexpectedly pregnant with Kevin’s baby. Kevin is ecstatic. Kevin had wanted a child with Kimberly, but she always seemed to be reluctant to raise a family with Kevin. Now, Kevin has the family he always wanted with Tanya, which means that – barring an unexpected miscarriage of some sort on behalf of Tanya – Kevin and Tanya have to remain ‘coupled up’ for LIFE according Monogamy Island rules. As to be expected, Tanya is full of very ‘mixed’ emotions. Tanya loves Kevin, but if she is being honest with herself, she loves Kevin more like a ‘brother’ and a ‘purely platonic friend’ much more than she sees Kevin as a man who she wants to spend the rest of her life with both sexually and non-sexually. If nothing else, for strictly sexual purposes, Tanya would very much prefer to be reunited with her former lover Tyrone. Unlike Kevin, Tyrone has made sure he has taken every precaution to prevent himself from impregnating Kimberly. Tyrone enjoys having sex with Kimberly, but he knows deep-down that he does not want to spend the remainder

of his adult life with her. Tyrone wants to engage in as many 180-day short-term monogamous sexual relationships with as many women on the island as he possibly can. The Monogamy Island rules do not prevent Tyrone from becoming a ‘serial monogamist.’ If you are a woman reading this eBook right now, can you relate to Tanya’s situation? What about Kimberly’s situation? If you are a man reading this eBook right now, whose situation resonates with you more … Tyrone’s situation? Or Kevin’s (unfortunate) situation? Think about that for at least a minute or two. Next, we examine the ultra-sensitive nature of Rule #5. What if Tanya did not want to give birth to Kevin’s son or daughter? What if Tanya does not want to feel ‘forced’ to remain ‘coupled up’ with Kevin for the rest of her life? Tanya did not plan to get pregnant … she was simply careless when it came to using birth control methods. Regardless, on “Monogamy Island,” Tanya has no choice but to proceed with the pregnancy and give birth to Kevin’s child (with the exception of if she was to experience a very unexpected miscarriage of the child that would be considered "beyond her control"; because of multiple security cameras, she cannot ‘force’ herself to experience a miscarriage). If you are a woman reading this paperback, think long and hard on Tanya’s predicament. Have you, or a woman you know, ever found herself in a similar situation with a man? I even want my male readers to examine this situation long and hard too. Have you ever impregnated a woman unexpectedly, and you knew deep-down that you had no desire to spend the rest of your life with this woman, and you had no desire to even raise a family with this woman? Marinate on that. We now take a quick look at Rule #6. Do you think Tanya would be more motivated to remain with Kevin if he were able to provide her with a much better quality of life than Tyrone would be able to (e.g., a bigger living quarters, more expensive material possessions, higher quality of education for her children, etc.)? This is something to consider.

In this scenario on Monogamy Island, Kevin is unable to offer Tanya any type of lifestyle and overall quality of life that is any more appealing to her than Tyrone would be able to offer her. On Monogamy Island, every man and every woman have access to the same overall quality of life, in terms of living quarters, quality of food, material possessions and transportation, and quality of education for the children. No one on the island is in possession of more wealth, more material possessions, and more social status than anyone else. Think about that. For the time being, we will skip examining Rule #7 because it does not validly apply to Tyrone and Kimberly’s situation nor does it apply to Kevin and Tanya’s situation. Now, let us return back to the real world. Imagine if the parallel to ‘coupling up’ on Monogamy Island in the real world society was society heavily promoting the idea of a strictly monogamous marriage between men and women. A strictly monogamous marriage could very well work out for a man and woman who thoroughly enjoy each other’s company equally both sexually and non-sexually, and both have a strong desire to raise children together. For couples of this nature, the idea of a strictly monogamous marriage scenario does not present too many challenges or problems at all. This ideal situation between a man and a woman is what most people in society generally refer to as ‘true romantic love.’ On the other hand, when you think of all of the “Kevin” types of the world, the “Tyrone” types of the world, the “Kimberly” types of the world, and probably most importantly, the “Tanya” types of the world, the idea of a strictly monogamous marriage would appear to potentially create more problems than it solves, wouldn’t you say? Remember when I referred to Kevin as being ‘in the dark?’ He had no clue that Kimberly broke things off with him because she was not feeling sexually satisfied with him. Similarly, Kevin has no clue that Tanya is also dissatisfied with his companionship sexually, and really wants to reconnect with Tyrone. Kevin has no clue that Tanya has no real desire to give birth to his child. He is literally “clueless.” Before the days of the internet, many men who were “Kevin” types would

remain ‘clueless’ indefinitely. Then, around 2000, 2001, 2002, the creation of internet message boards and discussion forums geared toward ‘men-only issues’ gave birth to a world of shared information, knowledge, wisdom and general men’s dating advice. We refer to this world of shared information and manoriented wisdom as “The MANosphere.” Soon, you had the “Tyrone” types sharing their experiences with women with the “Kevin” types. Guys like “Kevin” were like, “Oh my God. Are you KIDDING me?!?” The men who had experiences similar to “Kevin” on Monogamy Island became enlightened, but yet, very angry, hurt, and frustrated. In the world of the MANosphere, a man of Tyrone’s personality and tendencies would be categorized as what is known as an ‘Alpha male.’ A man of Kevin’s personality and tendencies would be referred to as a ‘Beta male.’ Generally speaking, an Alpha male is a man who on the positive end, is very confident, erotically dominant and uninhibited, and exceptionally skilled in the art of pleasing and satisfying women sexually. On the other hand, his controversial qualities are the fact that he is very egotistical to one degree or another, extremely uncompromising, and not at all enthusiastic about spending a significant amount of 'quality time' with women in a non-physical, non-sexual, purely platonic manner. Alpha males are not known for being the exceptionally flattering types, entertaining types, or emotionally empathetic and supportive types. The vast majority of Alpha male types are pretty ‘self-absorbed.’ Conversely, the prototypical Beta male is a man who, on the positive end, is much easier to get along with personality wise than the average Alpha male is, and more often than not, he tends to be much more financially responsible and self-sufficient (and many times, wealthier) than most of the Alpha male types. Also, Beta male types are usually very monogamy-oriented and family-oriented. They usually want to find one good, loyal and monogamous woman, and raise a family with her. Sadly, one of the primary attributes about Beta male types that is often perceived as ‘unappealing’ in the eyes of women is that Beta males have no real backbone and they present no real ‘challenge’ to a woman’s ego (in other words, women generally know that they can ‘have their way’ with Beta males and influence their behavior and dominate them, and they know they can get away with exhibiting behavior that is spoiled and even somewhat disrespectful to a

degree). Also Beta males do not possess nearly as much seductive charm nor as much raw sex appeal as the typical Alpha male does. Their degree of sexual prowess tends to be perceived as ‘average’ at best, or sometimes even ‘less-thanaverage’ in the eyes of most women, with the possible exception of women who are virgins or sexually inexperienced. Beta males are considered to be ‘basic,’ ‘conventional,’ and ‘vanilla’ in bed. Beta males generally tend to be more loving in bed, more gentle, and even a bit more submissive and accommodating sexually. If society was set up where it was absolutely mandatory that all men and women could only legally engage in sexual activities with one sex partner and one sex partner only for their entire adult life, then the concept of a strictly monogamous marriage would have to be tolerated by the Alpha males (much to their anger and frustration), but it would more-than-likely be to the general liking of the vast majority of Beta male types. We all know that realistically, this is not the case in the real world. Especially in the 21st Century dating scene. When it comes to women’s desire for highly enjoyable and satisfying sexual companionship, and even more so, if a woman has a strong preference for really ‘kinky’ and ‘raw animal’ type sex, just about all women are going to prefer the sexual companionship of an Alpha male over a Beta male. Studies and surveys conducted with women about their most frequently entertained sexual fantasies have revealed that just about all of the men who (heterosexual) women fantasize about are men who are very Alpha, incredibly masculine, extremely kinky, and unapologetically erotically dominant. The only women who tend to generally be content with the sexual companionship of Beta male types are women who are virgins, or women who have only engaged in sexual activities with other Beta male types. On the flip side, when it comes to women’s desire for accommodating, flattering and entertaining non-sexual companionship and their desire to have a man provide them with some degree of financial assistance and support as well as a high quality, affluent lifestyle, the vast majority of women are always going to prefer the companionship of Beta male types rather than Alpha male types.

Again, Beta male types are also more known for being more family-oriented and monogamy-oriented than the average Alpha male is.

MANY WOMEN WANT TO HAVE THEIR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO In the world of Erotic Domination & Erotic Submission (i.e., the BDSM lifestyle) and Polyamory, there is an arrangement known as the ‘Bull-CuckoldHotwife’ arrangement. Men who operate as ‘Bulls’ for women are men who are very erotically dominant, free-spirited and kinky, usually possess an athletically proportioned and fairly muscular physique, an above-average sized penis, and most importantly, they are very skilled in the art of arousing, pleasing, and satisfying a woman sexually. Men who function as ‘Cuckolds’ for women are extremely passive and subservient when interacting with a woman. These men usually earn a high five figure salary at minimum, and even more so, a six or seven figure salary. Cuckolds are committed to remaining faithfully monogamous to their wife or romantic companion. They provide their wife or romantic companion with the highest quality of life possible, and if children are involved, they commit themselves to being the best father that a son or daughter could possibly want. Many times, Cuckolds will act as a step-father for the children that a woman conceived with one or more of her Bulls (think about if Kevin, on Monogamy Island, was willing to raise a son or daughter that was conceived between Tyrone and Tanya). The woman who is the ‘Hotwife’ in this arrangement (even if the woman is unmarried, she is still referred to as a ‘Hotwife’) experiences the best of both worlds. She has access to one or more Bulls for kinky, enjoyable, and satisfying sex, and she has a wealthy or financially secure ‘Cuckold’ who will fulfill her every request and satisfy her every non-sexual and financial need. For all practical purposes, the Bull-Cuckold-Hotwife arrangement is somewhat of a microcosm for how many men and women who are not even involved in the BDSM lifestyle or polyamorous lifestyle are operating these days.

There are many women in today’s society who are married to a Beta male type, but these same women are cheating on the Beta male behind-his-back with a man who is more of an Alpha male type. Or, in some cases, a woman may be unmarried but involved in a long-term openly polyamorous relationship with an Alpha male, but this same woman spends the vast majority of her non-sexual free time with one or more of the purely platonic male friends (who are essentially “involuntary Cuckolds”) who are in her ‘stable’ of ‘play brothers’ and ‘male girlfriends.’ Some of these platonic male friends even perform a variety of financial and non-financial favors for this woman. You see, before the days of the internet era, many men in society were not consciously aware of the fact that they were perceived as a ‘Beta male’ in the eyes of many women. Then, once a lot of knowledge, wisdom, and dating advice began to be offered to men via books, blogs, message boards and discussion forums, and podcast programs, more of the Beta male types began to be awakened and enlightened with what is now referred to as ‘Red Pill wisdom’ (a reference to the 1999 sci-fi and philosophical thriller, The Matrix starring Actors Laurence Fishburne and Keanu Reeves). In contrast, ‘Blue Pill’ wisdom would represent a naïve man (or woman) who would buy into the belief that if you placed 1,000 single men on Monogamy Island and 1,000 single women on Monogamy Island, that in a matter of weeks or months, each member of both genders would find their ’soulmate’ … the ‘true love of their life’ … couple up … and live “happily ever after.” Because of the MANosphere, most men who surf the internet regularly and read books written by professional dating coaches (like myself), pickup artists (PUAs), seduction gurus, and masculinity-oriented bloggers, are now consciously aware of the psychological and behavioral differences between the appeal of an ‘Alpha male’ vs. a ‘Beta male’ in the eyes of a woman. Before knowledge and wisdom provided by the MANosphere was available to single heterosexual men, the phrase ‘ignorance is bliss’ was an extremely valid adage for men who were confirmed Beta male types. Most Beta male types viewed themselves as the 'good guys' in the dating scene. Now, many Beta male types find themselves feeling angry, frustrated, and bitter toward women. They want to avoid being treated like an ‘involuntary or unknowing Cuckold’ and they have very little interest in being a woman’s ‘play brother’ or ‘male girlfriend.’ In other words, they do not want to end up like “Kevin” in the fictional

Monogamy Island scenario. The reality of men is, the vast majority of single heterosexual men want to be viewed by women as more of a ‘Tyrone’ type rather than a ‘Kevin’ type. At minimum, they want to be perceived as “2/3 Tyrone, and maybe 1/3 Kevin” (this would represent what I refer to later on in this paperback and my other books as an Alpha male with a few Beta traits and tendencies). No heterosexual man who I have ever met in my entire life wants to be known as the ‘nice, sweet, easy-to-get-along-with guy' that no women are willing to engage in sexual activities with. If you are currently married or involved in a long-term romantic relationship with a woman, how can you tell if you are a more of a ‘Beta male’ type than an ‘Alpha male’ type? 1) You practically have to ‘beg’ your wife, fiancée, or longterm girlfriend for sex on a regular basis. Many times, you’re forced to go days, weeks, even months without sexual interaction with your significant other; 2) Similarly, your wife, fiancée, or long-term girlfriend treats sex almost as if it is a ‘reward’ of some sort in response to you exhibiting ‘good behavior’ and performing a number of financial and non-financial favors for her. Sex is pretty much your ‘doggie treat’ for the month; 3) You find yourself frequently feeling ‘suspicious’ that your wife is cheating on you behind your back because she spends so many evenings and weekends away from your place of residence (she usually tells you that she’s hangin’ out with her girlfriends, but you know better); Also, your overall sense in the relationship or marriage is that your wife is the one who truly ‘wears the pants.’ If you are currently single and unattached, how can you tell if the women you socially interact with perceive you as more of a ‘Beta male’ type rather than an ‘Alpha male’ type?

1) Just about every woman you meet treats you more like a ‘play brother’ or a ‘male girlfriend’ rather than someone she wants to date or engage in sexual activities with; the women who give you attention always expect you to be accommodating, entertaining, flattering, and polite when you socially interact with them; 2) Among the women who do seem to be somewhat interested in spending time with you in a more romantic manner, these women are always asking you questions about your level of education or training, your degree of career success, your level of financial success, and ask questions to get an idea of how financially generous you have been with women in your past; 3) When you express an interest in engaging in any type of short-term and/or non-monogamous ‘casual’ sex with women, these women will typically tend to have a very adverse reaction to your sexual advances and refer to your behavior as ‘crass,’ ‘disrespectful,’ or ‘rude’; If any of these symptoms feels familiar, then 99.9% chance, this means that women perceive you as more of a ‘Beta male’ type than they do an ‘Alpha male’ type. A man who is perceived by women as being an Alpha male type rarely if ever has to ‘beg’ his female companions for sex. If anything, women are known for ‘begging’ Alpha males for sex. At minimum, women tend to very frequently offer Alpha males the opportunity to have sex with them (monogamous or nonmonogamous). Also, men who are Alpha male types rarely are required to spend a significant amount of money on women in order to motivate women to agree to have sex with them. Many women will actually offer to spend their own money on Alpha males. Finally, Alpha male types never allow themselves to tolerate behavior from women that they feel is disrespectful or undesirable in general. If a woman is a ‘spoiled’ type who is used to having her way with various Beta male types, an

Alpha male will very quickly put her in check. Alpha male types have a very strong sense of backbone with women (and other men). Alpha males will leave a woman alone and ignore her indefinitely in a heartbeat rather than allow themselves to tolerate behavior from women that they do not care for. In my other books, I actually place all men into four categories rather than two. Those four categories are: · Total Alpha male · Alpha male with a few Beta traits and tendencies · Beta male with a few Alpha traits and tendencies · Total Beta male Men who are Total Alpha male types are the men who women gravitate to for the purpose of strictly sexual companionship (i.e., casual sex). Very few women have a genuine desire to enter into a long-term monogamous relationship or strictly monogamous marriage with men in this category. Mainly because Total Alpha male types are just way too promiscuous and polyamorous for most women’s tastes, and these men do not really make great non-sexual romantic companions for women. Men who are an Alpha male with a few Beta traits and tendencies types are the category of men who are the most highly desired by women for marriage purposes and long-term ‘boyfriend-girlfriend’ relationship purposes. These are the men who not only know how to please and satisfy a woman sexually, but they tend to be more relationship-oriented and family-oriented than a Total Alpha male type is. On the downside, men in this category are known for being deceitful, duplicitous and adulterous. They will remain with their wife for the long haul, but there is a very good chance that their wives will be cheated on at least a handful of times. Men who are Beta male with a few Alpha traits and tendencies types are the category of men who are the most desired by women for a combination of their accommodating, flattering, and entertaining personalities … and their desire and willingness to offer women financial assistance and support. Many women feel that they can influence and even ‘train’ these type of men to be obedient to them and faithfully monogamous to them. Unfortunately, many of the men in this category usually get cheated on by their wives and girlfriends quite frequently.

Men who are Total Beta male types are the men in society who are consistently the most romantically and sexually frustrated. Many of these men are referred to as ‘losers’ and ‘incels’ (this stands for “involuntarily celibate”), and others in this category tend to be labeled as a 'White Knight' type or a 'Captain Save-a-Ho' type. Men in this category are sometimes completely and indefinitely ignored by women, or if they are given attention by women, they are recruited to be nothing more than a ‘play brother’ or ‘male girlfriend’ for women. Initially, not too many men were consciously aware of the fact that they fell into one of these four categories, but now ... thanks to the knowledge and wisdom shared by myself and other members of the MANosphere in general ... many men are consciously aware of the fact that they are indeed perceived by women as ‘Beta male’ types. Many Beta male types in society now want a form of ‘revenge’ on women. In worst case scenario, the Total Beta male types have been involved in incidents of blatant misogyny and violence toward women, such as rape, date-rape, drugging women followed by sexual assault, kidnapping women, and even murdering women. At minimum, many men who fall into the Beta male with Alpha traits and tendencies category are now choosing to totally ignore women, deny women their non-sexual companionship and deny women access to their financial resources and material possessions indefinitely, and limiting themselves to only having sex with women within the context of a short-term and/or nonmonogamous sexual relationship. Many of these men have become cynical, discouraged, and jaded toward the notion of ‘true love’ and the ‘living happily ever after’ romantic fairy tales that were fed to them as children, teenagers, and young adults by their mothers, aunts, movies, television shows, and media publications. Many Beta male types are ANGRY. Even though a good number of these Beta male types would ideally like to be married and raise a family, many of these now consciously aware Beta males are declaring that they have no desire to propose marriage to a woman who they feel are just looking to exploit them for their financial resources, their accommodating and entertaining personality, and their platonic companionship and emotional empathy and support.

Beta male types now also tend to maintain the assumption that a good number of women in society who are giving them attention are also giving an Alpha male type much easier access to their sexual attention and companionship, whereas these same women are making it extremely difficult for a Beta male type to engage in sexual activities with them without having the Beta male spend a significant amount of money on them and offer them a firm promise of indefinite monogamy (i.e., propose marriage to them). Ladies and Gentlemen, this growing attitude of anger, bitterness, and frustration toward women among Beta male types is what I frequently refer to as THE BETA MALE REVOLUTION. How will THE BETA MALE REVOLUTION affect single women’s love life, sex life, and overall social life in the near and distant future? How will THE BETA MALE REVOLUTION affect dating rituals in the years to come? Will the BETA MALE REVOLUTION negatively affect the future of strictly monogamous romantic relationships and marriages as well as the family structure in society? I will attempt to answer all of these questions and more in the remainder of this eBook. No man wants to be a “Kevin” type any longer. Men want to either be a “Tyrone” type, or at minimum, a ‘blend’ of a Tyrone and a Kevin type. The BETA MALE REVOLUTION has shifted into high gear folks. Continue reading my friend.

PART ONE: Understanding Marriage and Its Place in Society In Part One, I will cover the early motivations for why men and women decided to buy into the institution of marriage, and more specifically, why the vast majority of men and women in society only pursued members of the opposite sex to engage in long-term monogamous relationships that would directly lead to a strictly monogamous marriage. I will also touch on how the appeal of marriage began to change in the 1960s and 1970s; In Part Two, I will examine how the impact of the internet and influence of the MANosphere has further delineated the distinction between how women generally respond and react to the romantic and sexual overtures of Alpha males vs. Beta males, and what this means for dating and relationships as well as the appeal of marriage; similarly, I will examine how many men also place women in at least two general categories: a) women who they perceive as prudish and monogamy-oriented ‘good girls’ and b) kinky and promiscuous ‘slut’ types. Then finally, in Part Three of this paperback, I will discuss my thoughts on what I feel are many of the ‘harsh realities’ of today's dating scene, and why I feel that appeal of strictly monogamous marriages has diminished drastically in the last two decades. Part One is divided into three chapters:

Chapter One Strictly Monogamous Marriages are NOT for Everyone

Chapter Two 20th Century Factors that Altered the Appeal of Strictly Monogamous Marriages Forever

Chapter Three Why Organized Religion and the United States Government Will Always Endorse Monogamous Marriages At the end of this paperback, you will find a list of additional books that I recommend that you read that I feel offer knowledge, wisdom, and advice that is either directly or indirectly related to the contents I offer in this book. Continue reading my friend.

Chapter One Strictly Monogamous Marriages are NOT for Everyone Is marriage only for men and women who have strictly monogamous desires and intentions only? Or is marriage also conducive to the needs and desires of those men and women who have a desire to engage in sexual activities with more than one male and/or female partner? The average person in American society associates marriage with a strictly monogamous sexual relationship between a heterosexual man and a heterosexual woman. Because both bigamy and polygamy are illegal in the United States, no man even entertains the thought of maintaining a sexual relationship with two or more wives at the same time. As I alluded to earlier in this eBook, I really do not have a problem with what I refer to as ‘natural’ or ‘organic’ monogamy, but I have a passionate hatred toward the idea of ‘obligatory’ monogamy. And that is how I have always viewed the idea of marriage in this country: as a form of obligatory monogamy that is heavily promoted and endorsed by proponents of organized religion, and validated and enforced by the U.S. government. Some men and women in society believe that Christianity is the only form of organized religion that diligently endorses the idea of strictly monogamous marriages. Well, I would assume that by now that everyone is aware of the fact that there are a good number of men and women who are active members of other forms of organized religion who also favor the idea of strictly monogamous marriages, and there are even a percentage of men and women in this country who are atheists and agnostic who have also entered into strictly monogamous marriage unions for years. Strictly monogamous marriages have never been reserved exclusively for Judeo-Christians. Probably as early as my tenth grade year in high school, I began to slowly but surely realize that I was not a ‘strictly monogamous’ type of guy. For example, I remember during the summer months of 1985 when I was a student at Indiana University in Bloomington, Indiana, I many times engaged in sexual activities with as many as five different women in a two-week span. A few of my fraternity brothers and many of the superstar athletes on campus were

engaging in sex with even more women than I was on a weekly or monthly basis. Granted, there are a few men and women I’ve known over the years who have never had a desire to engage in promiscuous and/or polyamorous sex. Some men and women’s natural tendency has always been to limit themselves to strictly monogamous relationships and marriages only. For men and women in that category, I respect them and have no criticisms of their decision to remain faithfully monogamous to one romantic companion or spouse. If a strictly monogamous marriage or long-term romantic co-habitation is what works for them, more power to them. I would never make the argument that strictly monogamous marriages are a ‘bad’ thing, but on the other hand, I would never be one to offer a rousing endorsement of strictly monogamous relationships and marriages either. After my parents passed away, my brother and I were cleaning out my parents’ home, and he found an essay I had written for my tenth grade English class when I was in high school. In that essay, I wrote that I had very ambivalent feelings toward the idea of marriage. For the sake of raising children, I wrote in this essay that I was totally in favor of the idea of finding a wife and getting married someday. On the flip side, in regard to the idea of limiting myself to sexual activities with the same woman for the remainder of my adult life, I expressed a total lack of enthusiasm in this 10th grade essay toward the idea of proposing marriage to a woman at some point in my adult life. You have to understand: I grew up in an era where Hugh Hefner’s Playboy magazine was extremely popular. Pornography was just beginning to come into its own. Consequently, the idea of engaging in sexual activities with one woman, and one woman only, for ten years … twenty years … thirty years or longer was not very appealing to me at all. Even as far back as the 10th grade, I regularly envisioned myself leading a very promiscuous and/or polyamorous sex life with women for most of twenties and thirties, and even most of my forties. I actually viewed one of my fraternity brothers, NBA professional basketball legend Wilt Chamberlain as an idol of mine when it came to his approach to women (Chamberlain reportedly engaged in sexual activities with as many as 20,000 women over the course of his life, and he never once got married before he passed away in 1999; I actually met Chamberlain once in 1995 in Los Angeles).

Chamberlain was quoted in interviews in saying that he was never going to ‘pretend’ to be interested in long-term monogamy when he knew within himself that long-term monogamy was simply not his thing. I feel the exact same way. Only the part of me that has maintained a strong desire to be a parent to at least one son or daughter, and have someone in my life to help me raise that child, has led to me frequently entertaining the thought of marrying someday (as of the publishing of this paperback, I have yet to be married and I also have yet to be a parent). In early January of this year, I began researching some of the general origins of marriage and the history of marriage in this country in preparation for an ‘Open Forum Discussion’ episode of my talk radio podcast program entitled, “If Marriage is So Great, Why So Many Divorces? If Marriage is So Bad, Why So Many Weddings?” I received a lot of feedback from my male and female listeners in response to this particular episode. Some of what I learned about the history of marriage during my brief, informal research totally surprised me. For example, many people in today’s society are under the misguided assumption that polyamory is more or less a ‘new’ form of alternative sexual relationships between men and women. Not hardly. Many men and women in the history of the world engaged in promiscuous sexual behavior and polyamorous sexual behavior before society ever fully endorsed and accepted the idea of men and women joining together via marriage. Marriage became popular among the masses primarily because of two major reasons: 1) Men who were previously promiscuous and/or polyamorous began to become ‘insecure’ regarding the issue of paternity; marriage was a way to cause men to feel more reassured that the children who they thought were theirs actually were (DNA paternity testing did not come into play in society until the 1960s); 2) Marriage became very conducive to many men who wanted to transfer ownership of their wealth, their personal property, and other assets and material possessions to

someone once they passed away. What I also found out while conducting informal research on marriage in centuries prior was that there were many married men in past centuries whose wives actually approved of them maintaining one or more mistresses as long as those mistresses did not allow themselves to get pregnant, and those mistresses promised the wives not to attempt to ‘steal’ their husbands away from their wives and be respectful and deferential to the wives. A courtesan would be an example of one type of mistress or additional lover that many wives would approve of their husbands maintaining a discreet relationship with. The modern day equivalent of a courtesan would be a professional Call Girl or upscale Erotic Escort who has a married man as a regular client, and that man’s wife knows about the relationship and has given the husband permission and approval to carry on with the Call Girl or Erotic Escort indefinitely as long as the relationship between them remains very private and discreet. Similar to a courtesan, another type of mistress that many wives approved of was what is known as a concubine. A concubine is basically a married man’s additional lover (or ‘openly known mistress’) who frequently spends the night at the residence of the married couple, and in many cases, lives with the married couple indefinitely. As we all know, in today’s society, prostitution is illegal in most states (Nevada is a known exception), but the concept of concubinage is actually still legal. In many cultures and countries, polygamous marriages were far more popular and more widely accepted than strictly monogamous marriages. To this day, there are many cultures who actually frown on the idea of strictly monogamous marriages. Why? Because of pure numbers. For example, if you placed 1,500 single heterosexual men on an island with 2,500 single women, and everyone’s objective was to enter into a long-term strictly monogamous relationship or marriage, then that would mean that 1,000 women would essentially be left out in the cold. And this is exactly why many people who live in cultures where there are far more single women than single men (or vice versa) are totally against the idea of strictly monogamous marriages.

If polygamy was legal in the United States, more than likely, men who are considered to be uneducated, erratically employed, full of financial problems and bad credit, and were perceived to be boring and unsatisfying in bed would never, ever find a wife. Even with anti-polygamy laws in place today, there are many men who still struggle to connect with women romantically and sexually. This is one of the primary reasons why I felt motivated to publish this paperback. If you are a woman reading this paperback right now, let me ask you a question: If you were on an island, and it was just you and three equally attractive men … would you commit yourself to remaining strictly monogamous with just ONE of those three men? Or would you share yourself sexually with all three men? What if you did only choose one of the three men to engage in sexual activities with, and the other two men conspired to murder the one man you chose to be your exclusive sexual companion? Would you end up regretting that decision? If you are a man reading this right now, let me ask you a similar question: If you were on an island, and it was just you and three equally attractive women … would you choose to only engage in sexual activities with just ONE of those three women? Or would you offer your sexual companionship to all three women equally? (for many men reading this paperback, this will appear to be a very dumb question on my part) What if one of the three women said, “I will only have sex with you if you remain strictly monogamous to me,” but the other two women let you know that having sex with both of them was not a problem for them. What would you do? Ignore the one woman who desires strict monogamy in favor of the two women who are open to polyamorous sex? Would you opt to remain strictly monogamous with the one woman who demanded it? (I know … another dumb question) Or would you choose to have sex with the woman who demanded strict monogamy, but find a way to cheat on her with the other two women behind her back? The reason I ask these questions is because I have had a good number of men and women confess to me that over half of the reason why they have maintained the disingenuous façade of being interested in a strictly monogamous marriage was because of the influence, opinions, and expectations of other people and society as a whole rather than a decision that they arrived at because

of their own true desires and interests. For example, I know many women who got married because their mother, step-mother, father, or step-father basically ‘pressured’ them to get married by a certain age. They themselves were not really enthusiastic about the idea of getting married. Many of them married spouses who they were not really in love with. They basically just got married to please their parents. Some men have told me the same thing. My late father never put pressure on me or my brother to get married. Never. My late mother did though, at least to a small degree. She wanted grandchildren very, very badly. Especially once she passed the age of 60. A part of me regrets to this day not being able to provide her with the joy of interacting with and spoiling a grandson or granddaughter. I mean, I could have just chosen some random girlfriend and got her pregnant, but my mother was vehemently against the idea of me or my brother impregnating women outside the context of marriage, even though she had many nephews and nieces who produced children out of wedlock. It was not so much that my mother was exceptionally self-righteous or judgmental, but the vast majority of parents from her generation and her parents’ generation felt the same way. In today’s society, it is not too big of a deal for a woman to give birth to a son or daughter outside the context of marriage. But in the early-to-middle part of the 20th Century and prior, it was considered extremely embarrassing and shameful to a man and woman to have their daughter get pregnant or have their son impregnate a woman without being married first. This is where the term ‘shotgun wedding’ came from. Many fathers would become incredibly angry if a young man had sex with their daughter without being married to her. If their daughter came up pregnant, the woman’s father would come to the house of the young man who impregnated his daughter and literally threaten the father of the boy and the boy himself. The father would basically say, “You better propose marriage to my daughter and make an honest woman out of her, and do so immediately … or else, I am willing to go to prison after I blow your head off with this shotgun!!” Speaking of women’s overprotective fathers, what most people in today’s

society do not realize is that marriage was not initially associated with the notion of ‘true love’ and ‘romance’ like it is today. Marriage has become very much ‘commercialized’ in today’s society. If you conduct your own research on the origins of marriage, you will quickly realize that ‘true love’ was not the primary basis for marriage when marriage was still in its early stages. There was a time in previous centuries where marriage was viewed as more of a ‘business transaction’ between the father of the bride and the father of the groom than it was a ‘love connection’ between the bride and groom. You see, before the days of feminism leaving its strong stamp on society, women were considered a man’s ‘property.’ Women essentially had no personal rights in society (which is ultimately what led to the First and Second Wave of Feminism). A man’s daughter was very much considered his “property.” A woman did not own her own body. Her father did. A woman’s father decided when his daughter could kiss a boy, if and when his daughter could accept an invitation from a boy to go out on a date, and if that boy / young man could eventually propose marriage to her. Prior to 1960, the vast majority of women could not choose their own husbands and romantic companions in the manner that you see women doing that today. Not at all. Originally, marriage was almost more beneficial to the parents of the bride and groom in many ways than it was for the married couple themselves. Even in today’s society, in certain cultures, they still have what is known as ‘prearranged marriages.’ This is a situation where the parents of the bride have a discussion with the parents of the groom, and it is the parents who arrive at the decision that their son and daughter should marry each other. The bride and groom end up having very little say-so in the matter. A woman who was not a virgin at the time of her wedding was very frequently perceived as “damaged goods” and in some cases, ‘unmarriageable.’ Many parents would refuse to allow their son to marry a woman who had already engaged in sexual activity prior to her wedding day. That is no longer the case in today’s society. Now, technically, a woman is on her own once she turns 18 years of age. No woman’s father is legally responsible for the financial well-being of his daughter once she turns 18 years

of age (even though realistically, many fathers in today’s society do still take care of their daughters financially far past the age of 18). What a wedding basically represented was a “transfer of property” (a man’s daughter) from the father of the bride to the bride’s soon-to-be-husband. The parents of the bride and groom honestly could care less if the bride and groom were actually ‘in love’ with one another. That was a very secondary concern to the parents of the groom or the parents of the bride. For those men and women who wanted to get married for purposes of ‘true love’ without their parents’ consent, they resorted to something known as eloping. To elope meant that you were defying the wishes of your parents, and you went ahead and got married without your mother and/or father’s blessing. Parents would become livid with anger if they found out their son or daughter had eloped. Many parents would totally cut off their children financially if they chose to elope. In today’s society, very few men and women continue to elope. The vast majority of women in today’s society will marry any man they choose to. They could care less about what their mother or father thinks, unless their parents are extremely wealthy and providing them with a high degree of financial support well into their adult years. As I told my students in my Dating for 21st Century Singles course in 2009, the two decades that caused the appeal of strictly monogamous marriages to slowly begin declining was that period between 1960 and 1979. When you combine new and improved birth control methods (particularly, the birth control pill), Second Wave Feminism, the ‘Sexual Revolution’ (or what some refer to as the ‘Sexual Liberation Movement’), and the legalization of abortion, many men and women’s long-held beliefs and attitudes toward the idea of entering into a strictly monogamous marriage changed forever. I will go into detail in the very next chapter about how a lot of what transpired between 1960 and 1979 profoundly affected men and women’s general attitudes toward marriage and monogamy forever. Continue reading my friend.



Chapter Two 20th Century Factors that Altered the Appeal of Strictly Monogamous Marriages Forever World War I (1914-18) and World War II (1939-45) had a major impact on many married couples. A lot of married women with children were left widowed because their husbands died during active duty protecting our country. This was arguably the highest number of widowed wives with children since the American Civil War (1861-65). One thing I mentioned on my talk radio program was that the first time the notion of modern day polyamorous sex first came to public attention nationally was during World War II. Some soldiers were interviewed anonymously by a major media publication, and confessed that because they were gone for months away from their wives, they would invite a close male friend of theirs (often another soldier who was not currently involved in a tour of active duty) to have sex with their wife until they returned home. These United States Armed Forces soldiers were realistic enough to recognize that their wives would become extremely horny if they went too long without sexual activity, so their attitude was, “I would rather my wife engage in sexual activities with a man I know and trust than to engage in sexual activities with some complete stranger.” Then later, the friend (who in most instances, was married or engaged himself) would usually ‘return the favor’ once he became actively involved in a tour of duty. This arrangement between these trusting soldiers is what essentially set the stage for what later came to be referred to as ‘swinging’ and ‘coupleswapping,’ which are two very popular forms of openly polyamorous sexual relationships between men and women, and particularly married couples. It was approximately fifteen years after the end of World War II when the dating and relationships landscape really began to change. The two decades which had arguably the most profound effect on the concept of marriage,

monogamy, sex, and general dating rituals between heterosexual men and women was that period between 1960-69 and 1970-79. Just about every aspect of modern dating rituals that is present in today’s society began forming in the 1960s and 1970s.

THE BIRTH CONTROL PILL

Remember when I talked about parents frowning on their sons and daughters engaging in sex prior to marriage? Realistically, there were always a small percentage of men and women who simply could not wait until marriage to have sex for the first time. Their raging hormones would get the best of them. As I have mentioned time and time again in my other books, the desire for sex is a very strong hormonal desire. You cannot intellectualize sex or attempt to legislate sexual desire. Sexual desire is what it is, similar to the desire for food and beverages. Unlike modern day dating, very few women prior to roughly 1960 wanted to publicly admit that they were pregnant without being married first. If a woman did get pregnant outside the context of marriage, they would many times seek to have an abortion, which at the time, was very much illegal. By 1960, condoms were already in play, as were diaphragm sponges, among other practiced methods of birth control. The most profound birth control method introduced into society in this decade was the Combined Oral Contraceptive Pill (COCP), otherwise known as simply ‘the birth control pill.’ Even though the birth control pill was not considered to be a “100% guaranteed” method of preventing pregnancy, it was considered to be just as effective, if not more effective, than using condoms and other modern birth control methods. The birth control pill opened the door for many men and women to feel more comfortable engaging in premarital sex, even though the nation’s religious factions as well as many middle-class and upper class parents still frowned on such behavior (especially in regard to their daughters). Even though many parents did not want their daughters engaging in sex

prior to marriage, they were objective-minded enough to realize that having their daughters take the pill was a much better option than having their daughter get pregnant and then lean toward the high risk and complications of having an illegal abortion.

SECOND WAVE FEMINISM The First Wave of Feminism which began in the 19th Century was primarily about women wanting to be viewed as ‘fully dimensional human beings’ rather than simply ‘men’s property.’ The Second Wave of Feminism had more to do with women wanting to have the same access to employment opportunities and wage-earning opportunities as men. Also, among other contributing factors, women wanted to dictate their own romantic and sexual choices rather than have their fathers, stepfathers, or husbands dictate those choices. You have to understand that because women really could not gain employment in the same way that a man could, and they could not in most cases earn the same wages as a man, they basically were forced to rely on men for their financial security. Well, what if a woman did not want to get married? What if a woman wanted to give birth to children without being married? What if a woman was bisexual or a lesbian? What if a woman wanted to take on an additional lover to her husband, just as many men had additional lovers and mistresses for centuries? These questions and the answers to these questions is what fueled the Second Wave of Feminism. Truth? I cannot blame women for wanting their own individual rights and equal employment opportunities and wage-earning opportunities. I have no problem with those feminist objectives at all. Unlike me, many men in society did have problems with the Feminist Movement. Many men knew that if women could get a job just as easily as they could, and could earn just as much if not more money than them, then what would be women's motivation to behave in an obedient and submissive manner toward their husbands and future husbands? What would be a woman's motivation to function as a ‘stay-at-home mother’ and ‘housewife?’

Bottom line, women wanted to be in a position in which they could have sex whenever they wanted to and with whomever they wanted to, without their fathers, step-fathers, and men in general having a say so in the matter. There are many men who strongly believe that a society is likely to experience a high degree of problems when a high number and high percentage of the women become promiscuous and sexually out-of-control. Generally speaking, men have always wanted to maintain a certain degree of 'control' and 'influence' over women's sexual behavior. Again, this is how things were before the First and Second Wave of Feminism took place. Men pretty much influenced almost every aspect of women’s behavior in this country before feminism took over.

THE SEXUAL REVOLUTION

Technically, what is known as the ‘sexual revolution’ and the ‘sexual liberation movement’ began before the 1960s, but it was in the 1960s – when combined with the Second Wave of Feminism and the introduction of the birth control pill – when it shifted into high gear. There was always a faction of society that believed in what was known as ‘The Free Love Movement,’ which was all about anti-monogamy and antimarriage. Men and women who loved the ‘Free Love’ mindset felt right at home during the Sexual Revolution. Critics of the Sexual Revolution and Free Love Movement felt that promiscuity and polyamory would totally destroy the moral fabric of society, lead to a higher number of abortions, result in more sexually transmitted diseases, and ultimately destroy the family structure because women would end up giving birth to too many children fathered by a number of different men outside the context of marriage. More and more women began to feel more comfortable engaging in sexual activities before marriage, outside the context of marriage, and with multiple male partners (and female partners too) during the Sexual Revolution.

THE LEGALIZATION OF ABORTION First men and women would use the ‘withdrawal’ method in an attempt to avoid premarital pregnancies; then they turned to condoms, diaphragm sponges,

and a handful of other methods; then came the birth control pill. What if none of these methods worked? What if a man persuaded a woman to allow him to have sex with her ‘raw dog’ style (i.e., engage in unprotected sex) and he inadvertently got the woman pregnant when neither one of them wanted to raise a child together nor were in a financial position to raise a child together? Abortions have been around for centuries, but once again, in most countries and cultures, they were illegal and usually performed ‘secretly’ to avoid legal consequences. In 1973, all of that changed when the Supreme Court voted 7-2 in favor of legalizing abortion. Two legal cases – Roe v. Wade and Doe v. Bolton – contributed to this decision. Now, abortions were legal in all fifty states of this country. Women who were feminists were highly in favor of this decision. Feminists feel as though women should be able to make any decision they desire when it comes to their own body. Critics categorized abortion as ‘legalizing the murder of an unborn child.’ To this day, most members of the religious community are harshly critical of abortion, with the exception of when a woman is a victim of rape or incestuous molestation.

PORNOGRAPHY Even though pornographic films existed prior to 1970, they really did not become popular until the 1970s. Deep Throat, released in 1972, was one of the first pornographic films to ever have a large audience come to an adults-only movie theater in order to view it. Other titles that were popular were Behind the Green Door and The Devil in Miss Jones. Andy Warhol, the famed American artist, has been credited with releasing the first major feature-film in movie theaters that included very explicit sex scenes. Warhol’s film was entitled Blue Movie, and it was released in 1969. Another similar film was Last Tango in Paris which was released in 1972. In the very next chapter, I will discuss how a minimum of two major entities in society tend to benefit from the idea of promoting marriage, and

particularly, strictly monogamous marriages: Organized Religion and the U.S. Government. Continue reading my friend.

Chapter Three

Why Organized Religion and the United States Government Will Always Endorse Monogamous Marriages If the United States Supreme Court decided to pass a law that totally abolished the institution of marriage, what groups of people in society would this decision be most detrimental to? Would grocery stores, fast-food restaurants and fine dining restaurants lose business if men and women were prevented from getting married? No. Would clothing stores, shoe stores, and furniture stores lose business if men and women were prevented from getting married? No. Would automobile dealerships or the travel industry lose money if men and women were prevented from getting married? No. Jewelry stores that sell engagement rings and wedding rings would surely take a hit. I doubt if they would be forced to go out of business, but their revenues would definitely drop a bit. Tuxedo shops and wedding gown shops would take a hit. Even unmarried men rent tuxedos from time to time, but wedding gown stores would definitely be forced out of business. Limousine businesses would take at least a small hit. Surely not so much that they would be put out of business though. Some retail stores where friends of the married couple purchase wedding gifts might suffer some decrease in revenues, but not so much that they would find themselves out of business. Okay. All of those aforementioned business vendors aside, just who in society would be the most negatively affected if marriage became illegal in the

United States? At bare minimum, there are two major entities in society that would suffer if marriage was completely abolished: organized religion and the part of local, state, and federal government that handles estate taxes and transference of personal property and material assets after a man or woman’s death.

ORGANIZED RELIGION

From the time I was in pre-school all the way up until roughly 1996, I was an enthusiastic supporter of organized religion and Christianity. Then, after an experience being involved with a ‘cult-like’ church in Los Angeles between July 1994 and December 1996, the idea of being involved with organized religion left a very bad taste in my mouth. Now, I consider myself more ‘spiritual’ than ‘religious.’ I still believe that spirituality, and even organized religion, does its job in those instances when they help men and women reduce their violent tendencies, when they discourage men and women from giving in to the temptation to engage in criminal and illegal activities, and just generally when they encourage men and women to treat their fellow human beings with a higher degree of respect, objectivity, love, and empathy. There are many religious sermons expressed by ministers, reverends, pastors, and other church leaders that primarily focus on the idea of getting married, and remaining faithfully monogamous to your spouse until the day you pass away. Many men and women enthusiastically give away ten percent or more of their income to churches all across the nation because being a regular church member makes them feel like they are ‘good people with good hearts and good intentions.’ I cannot tell you how many sexual hypocrites I have met in my life who were active members of churches. Some of the kinkiest, most highly promiscuous women I have ever interacted with were women who attended church each and every Sunday. I met a woman a few years ago who was recently divorced from her

husband who was a minister at a church in a Midwestern state. Why did she divorce her very religious husband? Because this man had engaged in sexual activities with as many as forty women in his church. FORTY WOMEN. Here is a man who is supposed to be preaching AGAINST the idea of lust, fornication, and premarital sex, and this man was having sex with over three dozen women. A good number of the women her husband had sex with were married (it was actually some of the married women that first came forth and confessed to this woman that they were sleeping with her husband). In my hometown of Gary, Indiana, there have been numerous stories – many confirmed, and some rumored – of ministers and church leaders committing adultery on a regular basis. Some ministers were written up in the local newspapers for impregnating young women while they were married. I know many men who are married that would never want their wives talking to a male church leader about the problems in their marriage and the frustrations of their sex life. Never. Ever. This is how many of these scandalous, adulterous church leaders end up having sex with married women and engaged women. They get these naïve, unsuspecting women to open up and discuss their feelings of loneliness, betrayals by men, and guilty feelings of lust and confessions of female masturbation while watching pornography. Next thing you know, that woman develops an ‘emotional bond’ with her church leader, and she lowers her guard, and the church leader then seduces her. I am sure there are many male church leaders who exhibit nothing but the highest degree of moral character and integrity, but there is definitely a percentage of church leaders that are nothing more than ‘snakes in the grass’ and 'wolves in sheep's clothing.' Believe that. Organized religion would totally lose credibility - and along with that, revenue - if they were to ever openly and enthusiastically endorse the idea of cohabitating without being married, premarital sex, promiscuous sex, openly polyamorous marriages and relationships, and same-sex marriages. Realistically, organized religion would probably lose hundreds of millions of dollars, if not billions of dollars, nationwide if various ministers across the country began saying that it was ‘okay’ and ‘acceptable’ to engage in any type of sexual relationship other than a strictly monogamous marriage between a heterosexual man and a heterosexual woman.

Organized religion is the basis for most of society’s sense of morals, ethics, values, and personal principles. Also, the vast majority of weddings still take place in churches and other venues of worship, and those places make money off of those weddings by renting out their facilities. Many ministers, pastors, and other religious leaders are to promoting marriage and monogamous sexual behavior what many pickup artists (PUAs) and professional seduction gurus are to promoting promiscuous and/or polyamorous sexual behavior. That is how they earn a large part of their living. If it were announced tomorrow that the United States Government was on the verge of permanently abolishing the institution of marriage, the first group of protestors would more-than-likely be those heavily involved with organized religion. Why would you need to listen to a sermon about “containing your lust” if you were free to indulge in non-monogamous sexual behavior? Why would you need to listen to a sermon about the sins of adultery if there was no such thing as marriage? Why would you need to listen to a sermon about avoiding premarital sex and sex with someone other than your husband or wife if marriage was abolished and illegal? The ‘powers that be’ in organized religion know that most men and women are going to give in to their lustful desires and their adulterous temptations. They know this. And they bank on being there to ‘consult’ these men and women who are experiencing problems in their marriage and problems remaining faithfully monogamous to their spouse just like a lawyer banks on consulting men and women with legal problems and physicians bank on consulting those with health problems. Also, churches are probably the top venue where many single men visit to find a ‘good woman’ (i.e., a woman with good moral character who places a high emphasis on loyalty to men and strict monogamy), and similarly, many single women feel as though the church is where they experience the best chance of meeting a ‘good man’ (same attributes as a ‘good woman’ with an added emphasis on the man being financially self-sufficient). When most men and women think about an American institution that highly encourages them to become and remain good husbands, good wives, and good

parents, the number one place they think about is one or more of their local churches or a similar place of worship that is representative of organized religion. Organized religion would never, ever want to see marriage abolished. Not in a trillion years. The idea of marriage, and more specifically the idea of a strictly monogamous marriage, is one of the primary cornerstones of organized religion. Only one other major entity in society would never want to see the Unites States Government abolish marriage . . . and that is the United States Government itself.

THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT Unlike organized religion, the U.S. Government does not want to keep marriage legal in order to make money or to earn some sort of profit. The U.S. Government is going to always receive their fair share of tax revenues. With them, it is more so about keeping issues of personal property and material assets organized and reducing incidents of male violence due to sexual jealousy and envy as well as non-existent or irresponsible parenting. Truthfully, the U.S. Government could care less about how many men or women you choose to have sex with. In their minds, that is your business. They don’t care if you love Brenda or Michelle, and they don’t care if you’re having sex with Daniel or David. The U.S. Government could give a rat’s ass. If you own a nice house with $200,000 worth of assets and a nice 401k retirement plan in place, the U.S. Government wants to know who do you want to transfer ownership of your house to when you pass away? Who gets to claim ownership of your automobiles, furniture, and other material possessions once you die? What person becomes eligible to receive your social security benefits and/or retirement plan benefits after you have passed away? Who will be responsible for paying the property taxes on your house until it is sold? These are the primary issues that the United States Government cares about. Let’s say you are a womanizing bachelor who has five different women who each gave birth to a child that you impregnated them with. Then,

unexpectedly, you die. If you passed away with a nice big house and a number of expensive cars, each of those women who are the mothers to one of your children are going to want to claim ownership to those items. Especially if you have no parents or siblings alive at the time of your death. One woman will say, “Well, he cared about ME the most!! So, I deserve to claim ownership to his house!!” Another woman will say, “He and I had sex 2-3 times per week every week … so I feel that I deserve to claim ownership to that big beautiful house of his!!” Now, at minimum, if you have at least one son or one daughter who is 18 years of age or older at the time of your death, the U.S. Government knows who falls in line to inherit your material possessions and personal property. In a situation where you had no parents or siblings alive at the time of your death and no (adult) children, but you had a number of different sexual lovers who are all claiming that you loved them the most and therefore they deserve a large portion of your material assets, this does nothing but cause the U.S. Government an unnecessary headache in terms of legalities, paperwork, and taking the time to resolve disputes. You passing away with a wife or husband left behind who is still alive makes things a heck of a lot easier for your city government, county government, state government, and federal government to pass on your property and possessions without having to resolve any major disputes or arguments. Especially if you did not have a last will and testament in place. Also, an emphasis on strictly monogamous marriages ultimately leads to less violence in a society. Remember that island scenario I presented to you where I said if one attractive, sexy woman was on an island with three men, but she was only willing to have sex with one of the three men? 99.9% chance, the other two men would murder that one man who had gained the opportunity to enjoy himself sexually with the one woman on the island. That is just the nature of men. For most men, there is a direct correlation between how romantically and sexually frustrated a man is, and how competitive and/or violent he is. Also, when children have abusive, argumentative, and irresponsible parents, this is another factor that will ultimately lead to those children growing up to become violent and prone to engage in criminal activities. Studies have shown that most men and women who were brought up in single parent homes are more

likely to engage in criminal activity and violent activities as teenagers and adults than those men and women who were raised in a two-parent home. The U.S. Government is well aware of this. So, bottom line, organized religion wants you to get married and remain married because it gives their sermons more credibility, and in most cases, leads to them attracting more members and receiving higher monetary contributions from married couples, engaged couples, and those single men and women who are seeking to find someone to marry. The men and women who attend churches on a weekly basis know that they possess a high degree of lustful and adulterous desires and temptations, so they look to the church leaders to provide them with much needed encouragement, guidance, and self-discipline. The U.S. Government would prefer that you get married and remain married so that it can keep your financial and material resources more organized once you pass away, and make it easier for your personal property, material possessions, and retirement benefits to be transferred to your living spouse and heirs after your death. Also, the U.S. Government wants to help reduce the number of incidents of men acting out in a criminal and violent manner due to a high degree of romantic and sexual frustration on their part, or bad parenting. In the chapters in Part Two of this book, I will examine how many of the activities both before 1960, and surely after 1960, have led to men placing women into a minimum of at least two distinct categories, and women – consciously or subconsciously – have pretty much done the same thing with men. Women, generally speaking, tend to be viewed as either a prudish and monogamy-oriented ‘good girl’ … or a kinky and promiscuous or polyamorous ‘slut.’ Similarly, as mentioned already, men are typically treated by women as either an ‘Alpha male’ or a ‘Beta male.’ Continue reading my friend.

PART TWO:

‘Good Girls’ vs. ‘Kinky Sluts’ and ‘Alpha Males’ vs. ‘Beta Males’ In Part Two, I will examine how men tend to place women into at least two categories, and women generally tend to do the same thing with men. Among those who cheat and commit adultery, these categories play a SIGNIFICANT role in motivating men and women to lie, be disingenuous and sexually duplicitous, and generally engage in manipulative ‘head games.’ Part Two is divided into four chapters:

Chapter Four A Brief Look Back at ‘Monogamy Island’

Chapter Five Examining the Appeal of Prudish, Monogamy-Oriented ‘Good Girls’ vs. Kinky, Promiscuous ‘Sluts’

Chapter Six The Role Alpha Males and Beta Males Fulfill for Women

Chapter Seven The Emergence of The Beta Male Revolution Continue reading my friend.

Chapter Four A Brief Look Back at ‘Monogamy Island’ Right now, take a few minutes to refresh your memory on the concept of my fictional scenario entitled ‘Monogamy Island’ in the Preface Chapter. Return here – Chapter Four – once you have re-read the general social constructs I presented in the Preface (in case you are very young and reading this book, and you are not familiar with the term ‘social construct,’ this represents a way of living and interacting with other human beings that may seem ‘normal’ and ‘natural,’ but in reality, this way of living and interacting with others was created and brainwashed into your mind by people with power and influence). If you notice, on Monogamy Island, once a man impregnated a woman, that couple had to remain sexually monogamous to each other from the time the woman got pregnant up until the time one of the two passed away. Even without children, each couple had to remain sexually monogamous for a minimum of one-hundred-and-eighty days, or else they would be relegated to only being able to have sex with members of the opposite sex who also did not have the sexual self-control and self-discipline to remain monogamous to their designated romantic companion for at least 180 days. In other words, just about every man and woman who resided on Monogamy Island would eventually fall into two categories: the men and women who have the desire and discipline to remain very monogamy-oriented, and those men and women whose promiscuous and/or polyamorous tendencies got the best of them and caused them to ‘fail’ at the objective of remaining monogamous. A scenario such as this would ultimately create two ‘classes’ of men and women. In the real world, the combination of a man or woman’s family background, their level of accumulated wealth and career success, their level of intelligence, knowledge, wisdom, and formal academic education achieved, and their lack of involvement in acts of violence and criminal activities tends to heavily contribute to their ‘socio-economic class.’

A person who is intelligent, usually highly educated, extremely wealthy (or at minimum, their parents are very wealthy), and who has never been convicted of a major felony (and particularly, a violent felony) is generally considered to be included in what is known as ‘high society,’ or what many sociologists refer to as ‘the upper class’ of the United States. A person who is intelligent, usually formally educated (i.e., attended and graduated from college or achieved some sort of vocational training), and is gainfully employed and reasonably financially self-sufficient is generally considered to be included in what most sociologists refer to as ‘the middle class’ of the United States. A person who has never attended college, does not have any sort of specific skill, talent, or vocational training, and generally tends to work in jobs that pay a salary that is near minimum wage or barely exceeds minimum wage – as well as those who have served a significant amount of time in prison for violent crimes – are generally referred to as part of the ‘lower class’ of society. A man or woman’s socio-economic status or ‘class’ usually plays a huge part in the choice of their long-term romantic companion or future spouse. Generally speaking, most married couples who are part of the ‘upper class’ or ‘middle class’ do not want their sons or daughters marrying someone from the ‘lower class.’ Most parents usually want their son or daughter to marry someone who has a similar family background as their son or daughter, a similar level of intelligence and education, and no history of being convicted of any violent crimes or felonies. One area of secondary importance for the parents of a son who has a strong desire to get married is the perceived sexual morality of their future daughter-inlaw. This attitude has always been present in society, but it became of particular importance beginning with what is known as ‘The Victorian Era.’ This period of British society, which coincided with the reign of Queen Victoria (1837 – 1901), is what ushered into society a new attitude toward marriage and how women should generally present themselves to men in public and in society. Without getting too detailed or too academic, this was the period that motivated the idea that women who were culturally and socially refined and

women who were virgins should be the primary candidates to be a man’s wife. Especially if the man was from a family that possessed a high degree of wealth, education, influence and social status. If a woman was considered to be one who was promiscuous, and had frequently and willingly engaged in sexual activities with a number of men outside the context of marriage, she was generally considered to be ‘unfit’ for marriage and motherhood. This is one of the primary reasons why a good number of women even in today’s society tend to have an adverse reaction to being labeled ‘promiscuous.’ When a woman is labeled ‘kinky’ and ‘promiscuous,’ that is essentially the same thing as saying, ‘you are not worthy of having a husband, and you are not worthy of being the mother to any man’s children.’ Matter of fact, an all-white wedding dress in the 19th Century and most of the early part of the 20th Century was supposed to represent that a bride was ‘sexually pure’ (i.e., a virgin). Among many in society, it was considered blasphemous for a woman who had been sexually active prior to marriage to wear an all-white bridal gown. Sometimes, if a woman was identified as not being a virgin days or weeks into a marriage, the parents of the groom would seek to have the marriage annulled. Many times, the father of the groom would seek a guarantee from the father of the bride that his daughter was indeed a virgin before they would allow their son to propose marriage and proceed with the wedding. So, in a nutshell, women tended to fall into one of two categories: those women who were deemed ‘worthy’ of being a man’s wife and worthy of being the mother to a man’s children . . . and those women who were deemed ‘unfit’ or ‘unworthy’ for either role. The women in the former group were generally classified as being prudish, strictly monogamy-oriented ‘good girls.’ The women in the latter group were categorized as ‘harlot,’ ‘slut,’ ‘tramp,’ ‘whore,’ and ‘mistress’ types. Actually, these classifications began way before the 19th Century, but it was during the Victorian Era where these delineations became far more emphasized and pronounced. Also contributing to these two very different classifications among women

were the prominent theories espoused in the latter part of the 19th Century and early part of the 20th Century by a legendary psychologist named Dr. Sigmund Freud. Freud came up with the theory of ‘The Madonna / Whore Complex,’ which asserted that the vast majority of men only wanted to marry a woman who they perceived to be a fiercely loyal, very nurturing, strictly monogamy-oriented ‘good girl’ type who usually possessed a lot of the same personality and maternal instincts of their own mother. Freud further asserted that those same men who suffered from this ‘complex’ would seek out a mistress or additional lover who was much more of a ‘naughty, kinky girl’ type and a highly promiscuous ‘slut’ type for discreet, but adulterous erotic trysts on a regular, semi-regular, or occasional basis. When you think back to my Monogamy Island example, if all men and women were to only engage in strictly monogamous sexual relationships, there would really be no need for different categories or labels for women. Similarly, if all men and women were exclusively engaging in promiscuous and/or polyamorous sex, there would also be no need to differentiate women by labeling them. I will expand on this thought in more detail in the next two chapters. First, I will examine the different categories and labels for women, and then in Chapter Six I will examine the different categories and labels for men. Continue reading my friend.

Chapter Five

Examining the Appeal of Prudish and MonogamyOriented ‘Good Girls’ vs. Kinky and Promiscuous ‘Sluts’ If a man was asked to write down a minimum of ten names of women who he would want as a potential long-term girlfriend or a potential wife, and then that same man was asked to write down a minimum of ten names of women who he would like to indulge in one or more episodes of kinky non-monogamous ‘casual’ sex with … and once you read both lists, you saw that there were many of the same names of women included on both lists … this would represent a man who is non-judgmental and generally does not suffer from the psychological effects of Dr. Sigmund Freud’s Madonna / Whore Complex. Conversely, if after viewing both lists offered to you by a totally different man, you noticed that the names of the women on his list of potential long-term girlfriends & potential wives were totally different than the names on the list of women who he would ideally love to engage in at least a few episodes of shortterm and/or non-monogamous sex with, then you would be able to surmise that this second man generally suffers from the effects of Dr. Freud’s theoretical Madonna / Whore Complex. The reality is, even in today's society there are a good number of men who view women as either honest, sincere, loyal, monogamy-oriented, and sexually conservative (i.e., what many label as prudish or semi-prudish ‘good girl’ types) while categorizing many other women as dishonest, disingenuous, disloyal, erotically uninhibited, and highly promiscuous (i.e., what many men and women label as the kinky, promiscuous ‘slut’ types). I would argue that there are benefits and detriments to being perceived to be in either category. Let's examine the women who generally fall into these two convenient categories.

THE MONOGAMY-ORIENTED ‘GOOD GIRL’ TYPES

Ever since marriage became highly promoted and accepted in society, just about all single heterosexual women who aspired to have a man propose marriage to them wanted to gain the image and reputation as a loyal, sexually conservative, and monogamy-oriented ‘good girl’ type. When I was young, my mother and her sisters and friends told me that my mother’s nickname in college was ‘The Elegant Prude.’ My mother told me that when she was in college, she was known among men for having an established reputation for being a woman who was saving herself for her husband sexually until marriage. My mother was more of the ‘norm’ for her generation rather than the ‘exception.’ Most women who were brought up in the latter half of the 19th Century and first half of the 20th Century believed that if you indulged in premarital sex with any man, you would severely damage your chances of having a man who was from a middle class or upper class family propose marriage to you. Having a reputation for being kinky and promiscuous was considered ‘dating suicide’ for the vast majority of women during that era. The activities of the 1960s and 1970s began to change that attitude. One of the factors – in addition to those factors that were already mentioned in Chapter Two – was that once a lot of these ‘good girl’ types got married, and were totally ready to thoroughly enjoy themselves sexually with their husbands, many of their husbands had a very unenthusiastic reaction to it. You see, the problem with men who suffer from Freud’s Madonna / Whore Complex is that they do not want their wife to exhibit behavior that is in any way kinky, sexually adventurous, or polyamorous at all. These men want their wife to forever be their personal ‘good girl’ and ‘trophy wife.' For most men who suffer from the Madonna / Whore Complex, the emphasis with marriage was finding a woman who would look good on their shoulders at classy social events, and who would be an exceptional mother for their children. Dr. Freud asserted that most men do not view their mothers as sexual human beings. Most men cringe at the very idea of their mothers engaging in sexual activity. This is why a lot of men are totally against marrying a woman with a history of promiscuous behavior. It is not that men who suffer from the Madonna / Whore Complex ‘hate’ promiscuous women (for strictly sexual

purposes, they love promiscuous women), but if these men happen to have one or more sons, they do not want their son(s) to view their mother as a ‘slut’ or ‘whore’ type. They feel that would deeply traumatize the psyche of their son(s). Women, generally speaking, tend to be different. Most women have no problem accepting the fact that their mothers and fathers are very sexual in nature. Many women grow up knowing that their father may have been a womanizer type or a popular ladies’ man. So for women, the sexuality of their parents is no big deal to them. Also, when it comes to long-term relationships and marriage, men value loyalty more than anything. This is even true regarding men’s long-term friendships with other men. Men by nature do not like to maintain long-term relationships or friendships with people who they perceive to be disloyal or undependable. They see no point. That being the case, if a woman is promiscuous, men automatically associate that with them being disloyal. For a man, there is no point in him being in a long-term relationship with a woman if he perceives her as being disloyal. A disloyal woman is not ‘wife material’ in the eyes of most men. So, what many married men do is find a woman who is a combination of loyal and monogamy-oriented to be their wife and mother to their children, and they look to find women who are very kinky and very promiscuous to indulge in extramarital affairs and erotic trysts with behind their wife's back. In this scenario, they experience the best of both types of women. In this situation, men have sex with their wives for procreation (i.e., the conception of children) and sex with their mistresses and on-the-side lovers for recreation (i.e., the pure enjoyment of engaging in sex just for the sake of experiencing a pleasurable orgasm). The problem with this scenario for the married women who are ‘good girl’ types is that they are often left feeling sexually undesirable as well as sexually frustrated because of their husband's lack of attention to their desire for sexual satisfaction. In many cases, these sexually frustrated wives will begin looking to indulge in extramarital affairs and erotic trysts of their own with men other than their husbands out of spite toward their philandering husbands.

THE KINKY PROMISCUOUS ‘SLUT’ TYPES In today’s society, one of the biggest issues among hardcore feminists is their harsh criticisms and rants against the notion of ‘slut shaming.’ Many women in today’s society, just like women in the 1950s and 1960s, do not feel that they receive the same level of personal and social respect in society if they possess a high degree of promiscuous and/or polyamorous tendencies compared to those women who are better known for being more prudish and marriageoriented and monogamy-oriented ‘good girl’ types. Many women feel that just because they want to enjoy sex outside the context of marriage, before marriage, or with multiple male partners does not necessarily mean that they should be treated like a ‘second class citizen’ or be viewed as if they are ‘unworthy’ of being a man’s wife or the mother to his children. The truth is, they are correct in their assessment. There is a clear ‘double standard’ in society between men and women when it comes to the issue of being promiscuous, polyamorous, and engaging in sex prior to marriage. Men have never been viewed as being ‘unworthy’ of being a woman’s husband or ‘unfit’ to be the father to her children if they engaged in sexual activities with multiple partners prior to marriage. If anything, men are almost expected to be ‘sexually experienced’ with many women prior to marriage. For many men, being a virgin on their wedding day is considered more of a ‘shameful’ label than a label of pride. In today’s society, if it is known that a man is still a virgin past the age of 17 or 18, his male friends will usually tease him and criticize him mercilessly until he loses his virginity. I once wrote a freelance article for an online dating advice column I maintained where I asserted that this was one of the more underrated factors that fueled the Second Wave of Feminism in the 1960s and early 1970s. My argument was, and still is, that the latter half of the 19th Century and first half of the 20th Century led to two factions of women that were left feeling very angry, frustrated, and bitter: 1. One group, as mentioned, was what I referred to in my article as ‘The Frustrated Wives.’ These were women who

were tired of only engaging in sex with their husbands for the purpose of producing children, and not for the sake of enjoyment and satisfaction. Secondly, these frustrated married women were tired of their husbands cheating on them with women who had a kinkier and more promiscuous nature about them. This caused the sexually frustrated wives to develop a very bitter attitude toward their husbands’ many mistresses; 2. The second group was what I referred to as ‘The Frustrated Mistresses.’ The primary frustration by this group was that they did not receive the same level of personal and social respect in society as the ‘good girl’ types, and were often classified as being ‘unworthy’ of being a man’s wife and the mother to his children. Financially, the women in this group often struggled prior to the 1960s because it was not easy for a woman to gain employment that would allow them to become financially self-sufficient. Both groups of women wanted a better life for themselves, and this heavily contributed to the motivations behind the Second Wave of Feminism as well as the Sexual Liberation Movement (or ‘Sexual Revolution’). Once women were able to gain decent wage-earning employment opportunities for themselves, they no longer had to solely rely on the income and financial assistance and support of men to support their desired lifestyle. The Second Wave of Feminism most benefited ‘The Frustrated Mistresses’ group and the Sexual Revolution / Sexual Liberation Movement most benefited ‘The Frustrated Wives’ group. Women could now choose to divorce a cheating husband, or even avoid or delay getting married altogether if that is what they wanted to do. Women could also choose to give birth to a son and/or daughter without the benefit of being married or feeling obligated to have a husband in their household to help them raise a son and/or daughter. This type of financial freedom combined with a newfound sense of sexual freedom left married women, divorced women, and unmarried women feeling empowered. Men could no longer easily ‘have their cake and eat it too’ (i.e., maintain a happy marriage with their wife and secretly indulge in a number of extramarital affairs and erotic trysts with kinky, promiscuous women on the

side). The end result of both the Second Wave of Feminism and the Sexual Revolution left a lot of men in society incredibly frustrated with the newly modified relationships with women. Many men did not like this new sense of ‘independence’ that women were experiencing.

WHOLESOME PRETENDERS & EROTIC HYPOCRITES If you are a man reading this paperback, and you have generally been a bit naïve about women up to this point (and even more so, you have never read any of my other books or listened to any of my audiobooks), then I am about to enlighten you. If a woman is willing to be upfront and straightforwardly honest with each and every man that she meets regarding the fact that she is indeed a woman who is kinky, and a woman who has promiscuous and/or polyamorous tendencies, then those men who are primarily interested in a few episodes of short-term and/or non-monogamous 'casual' sex would immediately know what type of woman they were dealing with and they would react and respond accordingly. Similarly, if a woman is willing to maintain a high degree of prudishness or semi-prudishness regarding her manner of sexual expression, and this woman's behavior and reputation in society can regularly confirm and support the fact that she is a woman who is strictly monogamy-oriented when it comes to engaging in sexual activities with a man, then those men who are in the market for a new long-term girlfriend or future wife who they very much want to remain faithfully monogamous to them would know exactly the type of women they were dealing with . . . and they would react and respond accordingly. What if a woman who was in the 'kinky & promiscuous' category really, really wanted to get married? Even more specifically, what if she wanted a man to propose marriage to her who she already knew ahead of time was a very judgmental type, but she did not really care because of the fact that he was earning lots and lots of money and would promise to take care of her financially if he was under the mistaken belief that she was a loyal, conservative, strictly monogamy-oriented 'good girl’ type? What if this woman simply wanted to experience the 'best of both worlds’ and ‘have her cake and eat it too’ like so many men in history have done for centuries?

Enter what I have referred to for years as Wholesome Pretenders and Erotic Hypocrites. Men have been deceitful and sexually duplicitous with women for as long as marriage has been in existence, and in the last few decades, now women feel like it is their turn to experience how that feels. What is sexual duplicity? As mentioned already, when a man behaves toward his wife in one manner, but when he is with one of his mistresses he behaves totally differently, this would represent a man who is sexually duplicitous. For example, if a man behaves like a monogamy-oriented church-going man who frowns on the idea of pornography when he is in the company of his wife, but when he is with one of his mistresses, he regularly watches porn videos with her and uses all sorts of profanity and XXX-rated language, this would represent a man who is both deceitful and duplicitous. I used to be this way before I began exhibiting what I now refer to as Mode One Behavior. Whenever I was around the women who I perceived to be ‘good girl’ types, I would behave differently than I did when I was around the women who I perceived to be more of a kinky and promiscuous types. The reality is, a high percentage of women in society are just like this. So, what women who are Wholesome Pretenders & Erotic Hypocrites do is, they behave like a prudish and monogamy-oriented ‘good girl’ type when they are around men who they want to earn a marriage proposal from, or at minimum, from men who they want to treat them with the highest degree of personal and social respect … but then, when they are around men who they know are kinky, erotically dominant, and exceptional in bed, they will quickly reveal their more free-spirited, open-minded, and erotically uninhibited side to. In my other books, I even introduce a fourth category of women: women who will blatantly lead a man into believing that he will 'one day soon' gain the opportunity to engage in sexual activities with them, but in reality, these women have no real intentions of allowing those men to have sex with them. I refer to these women as Manipulative Timewasters (Note: My book, Oooooh . . . Say it Again goes into more detail about Wholesome Pretender & Erotic Hypocrite

types, and my book The Possibility of Sex goes into more detail about the Manipulative Timewaster types). Understand this about women: the vast majority of women really only want a man’s companionship for three primary reasons, and those three reasons are: · Enjoyable and satisfying sex; · Entertaining conversation & enjoyable social companionship; · Financial assistance and support or non-financial assistance and support from a man to help them raise one or more children; Some women might want to spend time with a man for just one of those three reasons only. Other women might want to spend time with men for two of those three reasons. Many other women might want to spend time with a man for all three reasons. It really just depends on the woman, and what she feels that particular man has to offer. Here would be what I categorize as the four types of men that all women want to interact with for one or more of those three primary reasons above: Category #1: Men who women want to spend time with solely and specifically for the purpose of sexual enjoyment and satisfaction; Category #2: Men who women want to spend time with primarily for sexual enjoyment and satisfaction, as well as a small degree of financial and non-financial assistance and support and enjoyable & entertaining non-sexual social companionship; Category #3: Men who women want to spend time with primarily for financial or non-financial assistance and support, as well a small degree of sexual companionship and enjoyable & entertaining non-sexual social companionship; Category #4: Men who women want to spend time with strictly for enjoyable & entertaining non-sexual companionship; I refer to the men in Category #1 as Total Alpha males, the men in Category #2 as Alpha males with a few Beta traits and tendencies, the men in Category #3 as Beta males with a few Alpha traits and tendencies, and the men in Category #4 as Total Beta males.

I will discuss each of the men in these four categories in my very next chapter. Continue reading my friend.

Chapter Six

The Roles that Alpha Males and Beta Males Fulfill for Women Many dating and relationships advice books have highlighted how different men and women are physically, mentally, and emotionally. The list of differences is too long to repeat. What many men and women tend to overlook and underestimate is just how similar men and women are in various ways. For example, I have pointed out in my previous books that both men and women have fears and insecurities that negatively affect their behavior. Members of both genders tend to engage in their share of ‘manipulative head games’ with one another. As I just mentioned in the previous chapter, one characteristic about women that many men tend to be naïve and even ignorant about is the fact that women can be just as sexually duplicitous as men can be. Women have their own version of loyal and monogamy-oriented ‘good guys’ and promiscuous and/or polyamorous ‘kinky sluts.’ Women usually refer to the ‘good guy’ types as ‘nice guys’ or ‘gentlemen.’ On the other hand, women usually refer to the kinkier, erotically dominant, and promiscuous types as ‘bad boys’ or ‘womanizers.’ In the MANosphere, we generally refer to these two types as ‘Alpha’ males and ‘Beta’ males. Remember my Preface chapter? When I used the example of Kevin and Tyrone? In my examples on the fictional Monogamy Island, the fictional character of Kevin represented the prototypical ‘Beta’ male while the fictional character of Tyrone represented the typical ‘Alpha’ male. In the real world, Kevin would have possessed much more wealth and far more material assets than he did, and Tyrone would have been far more promiscuous than he was in my scenario. That aside though, you got the gist of

each while reading the Preface. Instead of only two categories, I generally tend to place all heterosexual men into four categories as I mentioned in the previous chapter: Total Alpha males, Alpha males with a few Beta traits and tendencies, Beta males with a few Alpha traits and tendencies, and Total Beta males. I will discuss the general characteristics of each archetype in this chapter.

THE TOTAL ALPHA MALE A man who is a Total Alpha male is generally perceived by women in the same manner that most men view a woman who is a kinky, highly promiscuous ‘slut’ type. You could nickname Total Alpha male types as ‘male-sluts’ or ‘manwhores.’ A more common term is ‘prolific and incorrigible womanizers.’ Very few women want a Total Alpha male as their long-term boyfriend or husband. Particularly if that woman is very monogamy-oriented, or at least, ‘pretends to be’ in public. Total Alpha males are women’s ‘secret guilty pleasure.’ These are the type of men who married women will cheat with behind their husband’s back. Similarly, unmarried women will engage in sex that is much kinkier with a Total Alpha male than they will with a man who is their long-term romantic boyfriend. Men who are Total Alpha males rarely divide women into the categories of ‘good girls’ and ‘sluts.’ In the mind of a Total Alpha male, ALL WOMEN have the potential to become a kinky and promiscuous or polyamorous sex partner for them. Total Alpha males do not believe any woman is as ‘innocent,’ ‘prudish,’ and as ‘monogamy-oriented’ as they pretend to be in public. Most men who were street pimps in the 1970s and 1980s were Total Alpha male types. These men possessed so much confidence, so much charisma, and so much seductive charm and sexual prowess that they always had more than their fair share of women offering them invitations to engage in sexual activities with them. Instead of simply having sex with all of these women, what pimps did is essentially ‘loan out’ their lovers to men who fell into the other three archetype categories, and they profited from it.

The street pimp profited from the Alpha male with a few Beta traits and tendencies types because many men in this category were sexually duplicitous and adulterous types that would be looking to cheat on their wife on a regular, semi-regular, or occasional basis. So, men of this type would use the services provided by a street pimp and his stable of whores. The street pimp profited from the Beta male with a few Alpha traits and tendencies types because many men in this category who were married would be denied sex by their wives sometimes for days, weeks, or even months … and if they were unmarried, they just did not have the social skills and seductive charm needed to persuade women to engage in short-term non-monogamous ‘casual’ sex with them. So, they would pay for the services provided by a street pimp and his stable of whores. Finally, the street pimp very much profited from the Total Beta male types because men in this category had no ‘game’ or seductive charm with women at all. These were the men who were considered ‘chumps’ and ‘losers’ when it came to socially interacting with women. So, these men would gladly pay for the services provided by a street pimp and his stable of whores. Men who are Total Alpha male types tend to be highly self-assured, kinky, extremely erotically dominant with women, and very skilled when it comes to seducing a woman into having sex with them as well as usually leaving those women feeling very pleased and satisfied sexually. Women naturally gravitate to these men when they are feeling horny for wild, kinky type sex. Not too many men who are born with a ‘silver spoon in their mouth’ grow up to become Total Alpha male types. Men in this category typically are men who have had to compete for everything they have achieved in their life, and they have developed an ultra-strong sense of backbone and resilience along the way in order to survive and overcome their episodes of adversity. These men are anything but coddled ‘mama’s boy’ types. These are real men with a high degree of masculinity. Men in this category are loved and respected by women because they are not afraid to speak their mind and they could care less what other people say negatively about them behind their back. They know who they are, and they know what they need to do in order to get what they want out of life, and that is

all they care about. Figuratively speaking (and sometimes literally), these men have the 'biggest pair of balls' of any of the men from the other three categories. Nothing cowardly about them. Total Alpha male types don’t ‘beat-around-the-bush’ with women. They let women know upfront and straightforwardly that their primary reason for socially interacting with a woman is for the purpose of engaging in sexual activity. Men in this category are very open and public about the fact that they possess a high degree of promiscuous and polyamorous tendencies. Many women who normally do not indulge in short-term and/or nonmonogamous ‘casual’ sex will many times do so with a Total Alpha male type. Most women know these men are not going to ever commit to them in a ‘boyfriend-girlfriend’ type relationship or a strictly monogamous marriage. Women are realistic in this regard. Again, women who connect with Total Alpha male types are those who are looking solely and specifically to be seduced into engaging in a few episodes of short-term and/or non-monogamous 'casual' sex, and these women are expecting to be pleased and thoroughly satisfied in bed once they agree to have sex with a Total Alpha male type. You will rarely if ever catch a man who is a Total Alpha male type raping women or date-raping women. They simply have no reason to. Women constantly throw themselves at men in this category. Many times, men in this category have to actually reject and decline invitations from women to engage in sex. The problems and weaknesses of men who are Total Alpha male types is that they have to be able to defend themselves against other men who become envious and jealous of their sexual popularity with women. For example, a lot of ‘jealous husband’ types and ‘jealous boyfriend’ types will often come after a Total Alpha male type looking for a measure of revenge once they find out that a Total Alpha male has been seducing and having sex with their wife, fiancée, or long-term girlfriend. Many men who are Total Alpha male types tend to have problems maintaining ‘9-to-5’ type jobs because they really do not like taking orders from a ‘boss’ or ‘supervisor.’ Men in this category tend to do better for themselves when they are self-employed and answer to no one.

Consequently, Total Alpha male types often end up being erratically employed and full of financial struggles from time to time. Many Total Alpha male types, if they are between 18 and 35, will have older women who act as ‘Sugar Mamas’ for them, and those women will perform a number of financial favors for them to prevent them from having too many financial problems. If there is one type of woman that Total Alpha male types tend to sometimes miss out on connecting with, it would be women who are deeply religious and full of conviction about only indulging in strictly monogamyoriented sex. Also, because of their dominant and uncompromising nature, many women shy away from spending time with men in this category in any sort of non-sexual manner, and this is totally fine with Total Alpha male types. Men who are Total Alpha male types really do not enjoy being around women in a non-physical and non-sexual manner. Total Alpha male types will usually only interact with women non-sexually for business-related purposes or to receive some money from women. Total Alpha male types will rarely elect to spend ‘quality time’ with a woman in a non-physical, non-sexual, purely platonic manner on a regular basis. That is simply not in their DNA to do so. Also, a Total Alpha male type will typically not allow a woman to get away with behavior that he perceives to be disrespectful, spoiled or highly argumentative. Many times, Total Alpha male types do not even like to raise children. Quite often after impregnating a woman, they will simply take off … never to be heard from again (what women and the U.S. judicial system refers to as 'deadbeat dads'). It is rare when a Total Alpha male type intentionally seeks to get a woman pregnant, unless he is roughly 36 years of age or older, and he has finally decided to make an effort to settle down with just one woman. But if that is the case, he will actually no longer be able to be truly categorized as a Total Alpha male. That would mean this man has reached a point where he is ready to transition into being an Alpha male with a few Beta traits and tendencies.

THE ALPHA MALE with a few BETA traits and tendencies There are two categories of men who are not exclusively Alpha males nor

Beta males. They are more so a ‘blend’ of both. The first of these two categories I will discuss is what I refer to as an Alpha male with a few Beta traits and tendencies. Men in this category usually fall into one of two categories: 1) Men who used to be Total Alpha male types, but as they got older, they found themselves becoming more relationship and family oriented, as well as they transitioned into becoming a bit more friendly, more personable, and easier to get along with in one-on-one social situations ... or ... 2) Men who used to be either a Beta male with a few Alpha traits and tendencies type or a Total Beta male type who might have lost a significant amount of weight (if previously fat or obese), gained some weight (in the form of muscle, if they were previously skinny), improved degree of seductive charm and overall sex appeal, significantly improved their sense of confidence and backbone, significantly improved their overall conversation skills and social skills, and most importantly ... improved their 'bedroom game' and overall sexual prowess. Here is the rather ‘sneaky’ thing about many men in this category: Remember when I said that men who are Total Alpha male types will typically ‘miss out’ on connecting with the women who are deeply religious and totally committed to only indulging in sex with men within the context of a strictly monogamous relationship or marriage? Well, that is where the typical sexual duplicity of men in this category comes in. You could say, many men in this category are the male equivalent to a Wholesome Pretender type. They will behave in a very ‘gentlemanly’ type manner around women who they know are a bit prudish and very monogamy-oriented, but then when they are around women who are kinkier and more promiscuous, they will behave just like a Total Alpha male type would. Women who are very monogamy-oriented but also very feminine and submissive in nature always tend to gravitate toward the Alpha male with a few Beta traits and tendencies. They see these men as ‘real men’ who will also remain faithfully monogamous and financially responsible throughout the entire course of their relationship and marriage. Women who are kinkier and more promiscuous also want to connect with men in this category because men in this category tend to possess a high degree of persuasive and seductive charm with women. The major weakness of men in this category is simply that they are the most

like to cheat on their long-time girlfriends and commit adultery while married. With the exception of some of the older members of this category who feel like they have already sowed as many ‘wild oats’ as humanly possible in their younger years, most men in this category find it extremely challenging to remain faithfully monogamous to just one woman forever. Men in this category usually have too many options. Many men in this category will eventually succumb to the temptation of quick, easy sex offered to them by potential mistress and on-the-side lover types. If they get caught though, they end up being branded as a cheater or an adulterer, and then many women lose a measure of respect for them and their popularity with women beings to slowly diminish. Their reputation becomes tarnished. No longer are they viewed as the ‘good catch’ they once were. At the risk of generalizing, a good number of men who are Entertainment Industry celebrities, professional athletes, and popular politicians tend to fall into the category of an Alpha male with a few Beta traits and tendencies. These men want to maintain the public image of being a 'monogamy-oriented gentleman,' but behind-closed-doors, they want to experience the sex life of a successful male porn star. The men in this category who are the least likely to remain monogamous for too long are the men who formerly were Beta male types who now – because of various forms of self-improvement activities and a stronger sense of backbone – have ‘upgraded’ themselves to the category of an Alpha male with a few Beta traits and tendencies. These men have never really received invitations to engage in ‘casual sex’ with women before, so that becomes very exciting to them, and most of the time, the temptation is just too much for them to resist with ease. There is one additional group of men who possess a ‘blend’ of both ‘Alpha’ and ‘Beta’ traits, but their characteristics lean much more toward the ‘Beta’ side of things than the ‘Alpha’ side.

THE BETA MALE with a few ALPHA traits and tendencies There are some men who because their mother was divorced while they were young, widowed while they were young, or they happened to have been

born out of wedlock and never really knew their father, they were primarily raised by their mother and their mother only. These men usually had no real strong ‘father figure’ in their lives while growing up, or if their father was involved in their life, the father had more of a passive type personality compared to their stronger, more domineering mother who pretty much controlled the household. When a man is raised primarily or exclusively by his mother, step-mother, or grandmother, they are either going to ‘rebel’ against their parent or guardian at some point and seek the guidance of some older more masculine male mentor (this is why many men who are teenagers and young adults join street gangs) … or … they are going to consciously or subconsciously find themselves becoming what is known as a ‘mama’s boy’ type who is accustomed to being heavily nurtured and coddled by the women in his life. Many men who are raised under the heavy influence of women (mothers, step-mothers, aunts, grandmothers, older sisters, etc.) usually tend to grow up to become one of the two Beta male types (either a Beta male with a few Alpha traits and tendencies or a Total Beta male). A lot of Beta male types are groomed by their mothers to hold women in the highest regard and always present themselves to women as a polite, respectful, accommodating ‘gentleman.’ They are taught at a young age that a man should always pay for dates with women and that they should suppress their sexual desires until they are married, engaged, or at least committed to being involved in a long-term monogamous ‘boyfriend-girlfriend’ type relationship with a woman. The older women in their life usually brainwash them to believe that pursuing women for short-term non-monogamous ‘casual’ sex is something that the vast majority of women will perceive as ‘disrespectful,’ ‘shallow,’ and ‘socially inappropriate.’ Women who want to maintain a high degree of control and influence over their husbands and male romantic companions gravitate to men in this category very frequently. If a man in this category possesses a college education, a high status job, and a six figure or seven figure income, he will usually be able to find a woman to propose marriage to with relative ease.

When a man in this category meets a woman who is a virgin, or a woman who has never dated or had sex with an Alpha male type, then a man in this category will generally not experience too many problems with his girlfriend, fiancée, or wife. More-than-likely, these two will get along fine, get married, have a few children, and come close to living “happily ever after.” The problem emerges with men in this category when they intentionally or unintentionally connect with a woman who has a history of dating and having sex with men who are more Alpha in nature. Realistically, once a woman has had sex repeatedly with an Alpha male type, she will always perceive a man who is a Beta male type to be boring and unsatisfying sexually. This is why a lot of mothers and fathers who have one or more daughters do not want their daughter(s) dating an Alpha male type while they are in high school or college. The parents know the type of effect an Alpha male will have on their daughter(s) sexually, so they make every effort to paint Alpha male types as ‘the bad boys’ or the ‘not good for you at all’ types. Once a woman gets ‘turned out’ by an Alpha male (i.e., makes the transition from having a prudish monogamy-oriented mindset to more of a kinky, promiscuous or polyamorous mindset), more-than-likely that woman is always going to want to share the company of an erotically dominant Alpha male for sexual enjoyment and satisfaction purposes. This has a high potential to cause major problems if a man who is a Beta male with a few Alpha traits and tendencies decides to marry a woman of this nature, or enter into a long-term monogamous ‘boyfriend-girlfriend’ type relationship with a woman of this nature. The men who are Beta males with a few Alpha traits and tendencies types can fully expect to attract more than their fair share of Wholesome Pretender & Erotic Hypocrite types (and even quite a few Manipulative Timewaster types as well). Women who are materialistic gold digger types LOVE the men in this category, assuming that the man is earning six figures or higher. The men in this category are the type of men that kinky and promiscuous women tend to generally ignore while they are in high school and college, but once they see that men in this category are now financially self-sufficient or even wealthy, then the women who are the kinky and promiscuous types know how to ‘play the role’ of the prudish and monogamy-oriented ‘good girl’ type.

In other words, they very much know how to become a sexually duplicitous Wholesome Pretender type. Why do so many Wholesome Pretender & Erotic Hypocrite types gravitate toward men who are Beta males with a few Alpha traits and tendencies types so much? Two reasons: 1. Men who are Beta males with a few Alpha traits and tendencies generally tend to have a natural tendency to want to fulfill the role of the ‘Financial Provider’ for their wives, fiancées, and girlfriends; Men in this category are usually wealthy or at minimum, very financially responsible and self-sufficient; Men in this category have arguably the highest collective net worth of men from any of the four archetypes; 2. Men who are Beta males with a few Alpha traits and tendencies generally tend to display the most flattering, entertaining, and accommodating personality traits as well as the most monogamy-oriented and family-oriented behavior compared to Alpha male types. Men in this category usually have been raised and groomed by older women to always display the highest level of personal and social respect toward women; The sad aspect for men in this category is that they will usually be cheated on by women more than any Alpha male ever will. Once again, women who are used to having sex with Alpha male types will never be indefinitely faithful to a Beta male type. Never. The only women who will ever be indefinitely loyal and faithfully monogamous to a Beta male type will be a woman who is a virgin, or a woman who has never ever engaged in sexual activities with an erotically dominant Alpha male type. The only instances when men in this category will be perceived as being more ‘Alpha’ than ‘Beta’ is when they feel they have been disrespected, humiliated, or exploited by a woman. When a man in this category reaches a ‘boiling point’ of anger and frustration, their sense of backbone will suddenly

emerge, and they will not allow themselves to be disrespected or treated in an undesirable manner any longer. Many married men in this category tend to gain a reputation for being ‘passive-aggressive’ and can even be known to initiate acts of domestic violence and physical abuse toward women. It is actually the complaints, frustrations, and overall jaded attitudes expressed by men in this category (either to me individually or in the MANosphere in general) that most contributed to my motivation for writing this particular paperback. There is only one category of men who generally have it worse than a Beta male with a few Alpha traits and tendencies, and that is what I generally refer to as a Total Beta male.

THE TOTAL BETA MALE There are three types of men that those in the MANosphere tend to mercilessly criticize, tease, and disparage: · ‘Incel’ types (short for ‘involuntarily celibate’) · ‘White Knight’ types · ‘Captain Save-a-Ho’ types The term ‘incel’ represents a man whose social skills are so underdeveloped, and he lacks so much confidence and anything resembling adequate attraction and seduction skills with women that he finds himself ‘involuntarily celibate’ for a period of months, years, and sometimes even decades. These men are often referred to by other men as being ‘total losers’ with women. A ‘White Knight’ is a man who will go out of his way to defend women anytime various aspects of their behavior are harshly criticized by men or other women. These are men who firmly believe that women do not possess any 'unappealing qualities' or any sort of major flaws and weaknesses in their character or behavior, and these men believe ALL women are worthy of being deemed a ‘good girl’ or a ‘goddess’ who is deserving of being any man’s girlfriend, fiancée, or wife. A ‘Captain Save-a-Ho’ is very similar to a ‘White Knight’ type, with the

only difference being that they will treat a ‘slut’ type or a materialistic and promiscuous ‘whore’ type with the same level of respect and kindness that other men would only offer to a prudish and monogamy-oriented ‘good girl’ type. These are men who are naïve enough to believe that if they show a highly promiscuous woman enough love and respect, that these women will become so grateful that they will suddenly develop a desire to enter into a long-term, strictly monogamous romantic relationship or marriage with them. Bless their hearts. Women love to recruit men who are Total Beta male types to be their ‘play brother’ or ‘male girlfriend.’ Women love to spend time with men in this category for purely platonic purposes and to engage in trivial, but entertaining gossip with. Women love to vent with men in this category about the disappointments and frustrations they have experienced after dating or having sex with Alpha male types. They feel men who are Total Beta males tend to make great ‘empathetic listening ear’ types. Other men in the Total Beta male category, either because of some form of mental illness or maybe even autism or some other social communication disorder, tend to have such underdeveloped social skills that they tend to be perceived by women as being ‘weird’ or ‘creepy’ which causes many women to avoid any form of social interactions with them altogether. The men in this category who are completely and indefinitely ignored by women, or treated like nothing more than a ‘purely platonic friend’ for their entire adult life causes a lot of men in this category to eventually become antisocial, and it causes them to develop a high degree of misogynistic bitterness toward women over a period of years and decades as they get older. Plain and simple, no heterosexual man wants to remain in this category indefinitely. The best sex life any man can hope for if he is in this category is either a) spending money on the services provided by street prostitutes, professional Call Girls, and upscale Erotic Escorts, or b) masturbating to internet porn on a week-to-week, month-to-month, year-to-year basis. In worst case scenario, some men in this category end up committing suicide. They reach a point where they feel life is simply not worth living if they cannot attract the romantic and sexual attention & companionship of any woman at all. There have been a few cases in the 21st Century where men in this category have gone as far as to commit a murder-suicide, where they will target

and murder womanizing Alpha males, the women who gravitate toward those Alpha males, before finally killing themselves rather than spend the rest of their lives in prison. A lot of times, men who used to be in the category of a Beta male with a few Alpha traits and tendencies tend to fall into this category if they become morbidly obese, lose their job and remain unemployed for a long stretch of time, or they become completely broke or bankrupt because of bad financial decisions and poor investments. Many men in this category tend to sometimes suffer from alcohol and drug abuse and many of them battle with bouts of depression later on life. Here is how I would evaluate my four archetypes of men: My rating for Total Alpha male types on a 5-star rating scale: Enjoyable and Satisfying Sex for women: 4 or 5 stars Entertaining Conversation and Enjoyable Social Companionship: 1 star Financial or Non-Financial Assistance & Support as well as Emotional Empathy and Support for women: 1 or 2 stars Defining Characteristic: Even when the men in this category refuse to spend money on women, and refuse to promise women any sort of long-term monogamy (causing many women to refer to these men as ‘jerks’ and other similar labels), these men are still able to attract, seduce, and engage in sexual activities with a high number of women on a regular basis My rating for Alpha male with a few Beta traits and tendencies types on a 5-star rating scale: Enjoyable and Satisfying Sex for women: 3 or 4 stars Entertaining Conversation and Enjoyable Social Companionship: 2 or 3 stars Financial or Non-Financial Assistance & Support as well as Emotional Empathy and Support for women: 3 or 4 stars Defining Characteristic: Men in this category are the most likely to cheat on their long-term girlfriends or commit adultery when they are married; Men in this category are typically very sexually duplicitous, and know how to behave like the ‘perfect gentleman’ around women who they perceive to be prudish and monogamy-oriented, but will behave more like a Total Alpha male type when

they are around women who they perceive to be kinkier and more promiscuous My rating for Beta male with a few Alpha traits and tendencies types on a 5-star rating scale: Enjoyable and Satisfying Sex for women: 2 or 3 stars Entertaining Conversation and Enjoyable Social Companionship: 3 or 4 stars Financial or Non-Financial Assistance & Support as well as Emotional Empathy and Support for women: 4 or 5 stars Defining Characteristic: Men in this category are generally only able to attract the romantic and sexual attention & companionship of women when they possess a very flattering, accommodating, and entertaining personality, a high degree of fame and social status, and most importantly a high degree of income and wealth and a reputation for being extremely financially generous with women and financially supportive of women by offering them an affluent, high quality lifestyle; Once you take away their finances and their willingness to offer women some degree of financial assistance and support, women will begin to treat them as nothing more than a ‘purely platonic friend’ type rather than a boyfriend or husband type My rating for Total Beta male types on a 5-star rating scale: Enjoyable and Satisfying Sex for women: 1 star Entertaining Conversation and Enjoyable Social Companionship: 4 or 5 stars Financial or Non-Financial Assistance & Support as well as Emotional Empathy and Support for women: 2 or 3 stars Defining Characteristic: Even when men in this category offer to spend money on women and offer to promise women indefinite monogamy, women still are only willing to treat them as nothing more than a ‘purely platonic friend’ type; sometimes, men in this category are completely and indefinitely ignored by women and perceived by women to be 'weird' or 'creepy' if they have severely underdeveloped social skills Bottom line is this: Women gravitate toward Alpha male types primarily for their sexual attention and companionship, and they gravitate toward Beta male types when their interests lean more toward receiving non-sexual attention and

companionship from men as well as receiving financial assistance and support from men. If all of the prudish and strictly monogamy-oriented women of the world were only interested in dating the Beta males of society ... and all of the kinky and promiscuous and/or polyamorous women only gravitated toward the Alpha males of society ... then this is when dating and relationships would be easy. There would be very few problems, very few misunderstandings, very few arguments, no cheating or adultery, and sadly ... no demand for professional dating coaches and polyamory advisors such as myself (my career would be over). The good news for me is that I still have a job, and the reason I still have a job is because realistically, you are always going to have men who are going to behave in a deceitful, manipulative, and sexually duplicitous manner toward women, and you are always going to have a good number of women who are going to exhibit the exact same characteristics toward men. Women who are sexually duplicitous want both types of men in their life. They want the Alpha males primarily for sexual enjoyment and satisfaction, and they want the Beta males primarily for platonic companionship and financial assistance and support. Men who are sexually duplicitous also want both types of women in their life. They want the loyal, prudish, and monogamy-oriented ‘good girl’ types for long-term relationships and marriage, and they want the kinky and promiscuous ‘slut’ types for short-term and/or non-monogamous ‘casual’ sex. Yes, there are a small percentage of men who only want to connect with prudish and monogamy-oriented types (usually Beta males) as well as a small percentage of men who only want to connect with kinky and promiscuous / polyamorous types (usually Total Alpha male types). A larger percentage want both types in their life. Similarly, there is a small percentage of women who only want to interact exclusively with Alpha males, and another small percentage of women who only want to be in a relationship with Beta males, but a larger percentage of women want ‘one of each’ in their life. In the very next chapter, I will go into more detail about how the

knowledge, wisdom, and general advice offered by the MANosphere has contributed to many men’s desire to transform themselves from maintaining a ‘Beta male’ oriented mindset to developing more of a highly masculine, take-nocrap-from-women ‘Alpha male’ type mentality toward interacting with women romantically, sexually, and socially. Continue reading my friend.

Chapter Seven The Emergence of ‘The Beta Male Revolution’ Let’s say, starting with 1866 thru roughly 1959, here is how things were going with the men in the four categories mentioned in Chapter Six: · Total Alpha male types were either unmarried and messing around with nothing but the few openly kinky and promiscuous type women … or those who were married had wives who allowed them to take on one or more mistresses as long as those mistresses were respectful and deferential to the wives and did not cause any problems; · Alpha males with a few Beta traits and tendencies types were either happily married with children, or still dating and searching for their wife to be; as time went on, these men began to become more deceitful and sexually duplicitous, and they began cheating on their wife behind her back; · Beta males with a few Alpha traits and tendencies types were considered the ‘good men’ of society who always remained faithfully monogamous to their wives and did everything within their power to raise good children and provide for their family; · Total Beta male types were also usually able to connect with a woman and get married and have children, even though they may have had to work two or three jobs to make ends meet; a few men in this category were not able to connect with a woman and get married because of various issues (e.g., mental illness, personality disorders, chronically unemployed, etc.)

If I had to point the finger at the one category of men who angered women so much that it contributed to the objectives of the Second Wave of Feminism, it was the Alpha males with a few Beta traits and tendencies types (and to a far lesser extent, the Total Alpha male types). Women grew to a point where they simply did not like men being able to ‘have their cake and eat it too,’ but yet, women were expected to be either the ‘good girl’ or the ‘tramp.’ Many women respected the Total Alpha male types because even though they experienced the best of both worlds, at least they were upfront and straightforwardly honest with their wives about it. There was no deceit or duplicity going on. On the other hand, with the men who were Alpha males with a few Beta traits and tendencies types, women felt totally betrayed and heartbroken. Of the four categories of men, it was these men who were most seen as the ‘bad guys’ of dating and relationships, and marriage. Then, the 1960s and 1970s changed all of that. Well, sort of. Let’s look at how things changed for the men in each category beginning with roughly 1980: · Not too much has really changed with the Total Alpha male types. Many of them are still unmarried and having sex with women who are either openly kinky and promiscuous, or, they are having sex with women who are Wholesome Pretender & Erotic Hypocrite types. And If they happen to be married, their wives allow them to have sex with additional lovers as long as those mistresses are respectful and deferential to the wives and do not cause any problems; · Similarly, not all that much has changed with the Alpha males with a few Beta traits and tendencies types either. Most men in this category are either happily married with children or still dating and searching for their wife to be. A good number of them are still exhibiting behavior that is

deceitful and sexually duplicitous, and they are cheating on their wife behind her back on a regular, semi-regular, or occasional basis; · Because of feminism and the Sexual Revolution, many women who were previously attracted to the Beta males with a few Alpha traits and tendencies now find themselves gravitating (intentionally or unintentionally) to more Alpha male types. Many women who are Wholesome Pretender & Erotic Hypocrite types as well as materialistic ‘gold digger’ types now gravitate to men in this category for marriage and long-term relationships, but usually unbeknownst to their boyfriends or husbands, these same types of women are now cheating on men in this category behind-their-back with Alpha males; · Total Beta male types are now being left in the dust. Men in this category will only be able to attract a girlfriend or wife if they are in a social environment where money is not an issue, and everyone is committed to strict monogamy. Realistically, in the world we live in now, that is simply not the case. These days, women do nothing but ‘use’ men in this category for their flattering and accommodating personalities and their emotional empathy and support. In a nutshell, Beta males are the ones being shafted. The Beta males with a few Alpha traits and tendencies types do not feel like they can completely trust women anymore. They feel most women who seek to connect with them want to just 'use' them for their financial resources and willingness to spend time with them non-sexually, but those women do not really love them (think about the fictional character of Kevin on Monogamy Island in the Preface Chapter). At minimum, the men who are Beta males with a few Alpha traits and

tendencies feel like they are now the men that many women turn to only after these women have “sowed their wild oats” with a high number of Alpha male types. For the Total Beta male types, things are even worse. The men in this category are being almost completely shunned by women when it comes to romance and sex. If a Total Beta male type is not willing to function as a woman’s ‘play brother’ or ‘male girlfriend,’ women want nothing to do with them. Especially if these men are broke, unemployed, or have major personality issues and underdeveloped social skills. Again, the men who should be paying the price of feminism right now should be the men who are the Alpha males with a few Beta traits and tendencies types. Most Beta males feel like those deceitful and sexually duplicitous Alpha male types should be the ones who women should be ignoring indefinitely and choosing not to have anything to do with romantically or sexually. In an ideal world, things probably would have worked out like that. Sadly, this is not an ideal world. As of right now, society basically has three categories of men and women: · Men and women who are only into strict monogamy · Men and women who are openly promiscuous and/or polyamorous · Men and women who are deceitfully promiscuous and/or polyamorous Obviously, the men and women in that last category are causing all of the problems, disappointments, frustrations, and heartbreak. Finding out exactly how to identify the men and women in that last category was essentially what caused the dating advice industry to explode beginning with the early 2000s. Men who now fully realize that they are perceived by most women as being more ‘Beta’ than ‘Alpha’ are reading more blogs and books than ever before, they are listening to more podcast programs than ever before, and they are attending more PUA bootcamps, manhood-oriented and masculinity-oriented workshops, and men’s conferences that center on the attraction and seduction of

women than at any time in this nation’s history. These Beta male types are absorbing as much knowledge, wisdom, and general advice as they possibly can on the general subject of dating, interpersonal relationships with women, and the disingenuous, duplicitous, and highly manipulative and materialistic tendencies of a good number of women in society. Welcome to what I frequently refer to as The Beta Male Revolution. Sometimes things have to get worse before they get better, and this definitely applies to today’s dating scene that involves heterosexual dating singles. The Beta Male Revolution is Beta males’ answer to the Second Wave of Feminism and the Sexual Revolution of the 1960s and 1970s. Beginning with no later than 2001, many Alpha male types have even been helping fuel this Beta Male Revolution. In the same way street pimps (a.k.a. Total Alpha male types) found a way to earn a profit for themselves by ‘loaning out’ their casual sex lovers to Beta male types for a fee in the 1970s and 1980s, many Alpha male types in the 21st Century are not simply giving Beta male types some ‘fish’ … but instead, they are teaching Beta males how to catch their own 'fish’ (in other words, PUAs and similar types are not interested in 'matchmaking' or 'pimping' ... they would rather teach Beta male types how to attract, charm, and seduce women themselves). Enter the Attraction & Seduction Industry, or what is also known simply as ‘The Pickup Artist Community’ or ‘The Seduction Community.’ I earn my living by providing knowledge, wisdom, and general advice to men … and I would easily say that the vast majority of my male clients are Beta male types looking for advice on how to become more ‘Alpha.’ I consider myself different than the average, conventional ‘pickup artist’ (PUA) though. Many PUA types tend to endorse a method of socially interacting with women and seducing women that is more ‘indirect’ as well as misleading and manipulative in nature. What many PUA types and other 'indirect' dating coaches do is not so much encourage Beta males to become more 'Alpha,' but rather, they teach Beta males how to use their image and reputation for being a 'nice, friendly, monogamyoriented' guy to mislead women into believing that they are interested in being a

woman's next long-term boyfriend or future husband, but then, once the manipulative Beta male is fortunate enough to engage in sexual activities with that woman one or more times … this man then just makes up a reason to break up with the woman and then move on to his next female target. Obviously, this type of PUA technique will not work with a woman who is committed to practicing celibacy prior to marriage, but it works very well with women who have already been sexually active with a number of men or women who are virgins who are comfortable with the idea of losing their virginity outside the context of marriage to a man who they believe really cares for them. This is referred to as the ‘indirect’ method of connecting with women for sex. This method leaves a lot of women feeling misled, manipulated, and heartbroken, but do you think Beta males really care? Of course not. Devoted students of professional PUAs could care less about women’s feelings. These men maintain the attitude that it is better to mislead and manipulate a woman for her sexual companionship than to allow yourself to be misled and manipulated by a woman for your non-sexual companionship and financial resources. What I am known for teaching is a more ‘direct’ and non-manipulative method of connecting with women romantically and sexually. I believe men should simply verbally communicate to women upfront and straightforwardly that they have absolutely no interest in engaging in a series of purely platonic social interactions with women, and that they have no interest whatsoever in being groomed to become a woman’s ‘platonic boyfriend' or 'platonic husband’ who provides them with nothing more than entertaining conversation and various financial favors. I believe men should let women of interest know what their true romantic or sexual desires, interests, and intentions are in an upfront and straightforwardly honest manner, and if what is really on a man’s mind is short-term and/or nonmonogamous ‘casual’ sex, then that men should let women know this directly. I refer to this type of bold, upfront, unapologetic, straightforward honesty as The Mode One Approach of verbal communication. Personally, I do not have a problem with the women who are strictly monogamy-oriented (more power to them, but I tend to generally avoid these

types) nor do I have a problem with the women who are kinky and promiscuous and/or polyamorous (personally, I love openly polyamorous women). The women who bother me the most, as well as the vast majority of all men, are women who are pathologically dishonest, disingenuous, disloyal, duplicitous, and highly manipulative and materialistic. The Wholesome Pretender types or even more so, the Manipulative Timewaster types. And in fairness to women, most of them are bothered by those same undesirable characteristics and unappealing behavioral traits that are frequently exhibited by men as well. Many men, and in particular Beta male types, have joined what is known as ‘The Men’s Rights Movement’ and/or the MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) Movement. I will discuss these two movements in more detail in Part Three of this paperback. How is all of this affecting society? 1. Total Beta male types who are categorized as ‘incels’ are becoming more misogynistic and more violent than ever. Pretty soon, these isolated cases of murder-suicides (or suicides only) are going to only increase; 2. Total Beta male types who were once categorized as ‘White Knight’ types have now begun to stop defending women on social media and blog sites and instead have turned on women and have begun verbally attacking them; 3. Total Beta male types who were once categorized as ‘Captain Save-a-Ho’ types have stopped attempting to pursue women with promiscuous and polyamorous tendencies for long-term romantic relationships, and they have stopped behaving like ‘male girlfriends’ and ‘empathetic listening ears’ to these women; Now, they are attempting to seduce them into engaging in one or more episodes of short-term non-

monogamous ‘casual sex,’ and if they fail, they are cutting all ties with these women; 4. Men who are Beta males with a few Alpha traits and tendencies types are beginning to avoid entering into long-term monogamous romantic relationships and marriages with women who are 30 years of age or older if they suspect these women of having a history of highly promiscuous behavior with a wide assortment of Alpha male types between the ages of 15 and 29; This is causing there to be more unmarried women who are 30 years of age or older. If a woman is roughly 36 years of age or older, they will probably be completely ignored by men who are Beta males with a few Alpha traits and tendencies types (at least for marriage or long-term relationships). In a nutshell, it was the Beta male types that most women who were Wholesome Pretender & Erotic Hypocrite types (i.e., the sexually duplicitous women) depended on to always treat them as if they were worthy of being a man's long-term girlfriend, fiancée, or wife. At minimum, sexually duplicitous women felt like they could bank on Beta male types to flatter them, entertain them, listen to them whine and complain about the frustrating behavior of Alpha males, and even spend money on them when they needed some financial assistance or support. Instead, in today's society, Beta male types are either flat-out ignoring women, or they are treating 99% of the women they meet as if they are more of the kinky, promiscuous 'slut' types that are only worthy of providing them with an enjoyable and satisfying time in bed. Consequently, the vast majority of Beta male types are simply no longer interested in meeting a so-called 'good woman,' dating her for two or three years, proposing to her, and then marrying her and raising a family with her. Where do we go from here? What does the future look like? I will discuss my answers to all of these questions in Part Three of this paperback.

Continue reading my friend.

PART THREE:

Dating for 21st Century Singles In Part Three, I am going to offer a few of my ‘harsh realities of today’s dating scene.’ Part Three is divided into eight chapters:

Chapter Eight The Diminishing Appeal of Strictly Monogamous Marriages: Where Do We Go from Here?

Chapter Nine Examining the Men’s Rights Movement (MRM) and Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW)

Chapter Ten Reality #1 of Today’s Dating Scene: Alternative Relationships Have Diminished the Appeal of Strictly Monogamous Marriages

Chapter Eleven Reality #2 of Today’s Dating Scene: Alpha Males Do Not Like Spending Time with Women in a Platonic Manner ... and Now, Neither Do Beta Males

Chapter Twelve Reality #3 of Today’s Dating Scene: Men Have No Desire to ‘Court’ or ‘Woo’ a Woman Who They Have No Desire to Marry

Chapter Thirteen Reality #4 of Today’s Dating Scene: Many Beta Males are Dreadfully Afraid of What is Referred to as the ‘Marital Bait-and-Switch’ Routine

Chapter Fourteen Reality #5 of Today’s Dating Scene: Men Who Have Never Been Married and Do Not Have Any Children Can Afford to be ‘Nitpicky’ When Choosing a Wife

Chapter Fifteen Reality #6 of Today’s Dating Scene: Many Beta Male Types Who Previously Adored, Defended, and Worshipped Women Now HATE Them I will then offer a brief ‘Author’s Wrap Up & Final Thoughts’ at the very end. Continue reading my friend.

Chapter Eight

The Diminishing Appeal of Strictly Monogamous Marriages: Where Do We Go from Here? If you take time to read a number of blogs and dating-related internet message boards and discussion forums, and you also take time to listen to a number of talk radio programs and podcast programs that center on dating and relationships, you will inevitably find a number of (heterosexual) women blaming men for 90-99% of the problems in today’s dating scene, and similarly, you will find a number of (heterosexual) men blaming women for 90-99% of the problems in today’s dating scene. The reality is, members of both genders are guilty of the problems in today’s dating scene. Anyone who feels like the problems of today’s dating scene are the fault of men only or women only is incredibly narrow-minded and delusional. A lot of ‘dating experts’ attempt to make the problems in today’s dating scene seem more ‘complicated’ than they really are. In my mind, most of the problems in today’s dating scene are very, very simple. In a nutshell, there are just way too many men and women who are not upfront, specific, and straightforwardly honest with members of the opposite sex about the exact type of romantic and sexual companionship that they really want. First, the misleading and manipulative ways of men: You have men who will mislead women into believing that they are interested in a long-term sexual relationship, but in reality, these men really want a short-term sexual relationship. You have men who will mislead women into believing that they are interested in a strictly monogamous sexual relationship or marriage, but in reality, these men really want to engage in promiscuous and/or polyamorous sex

with multiple women. You have men who will mislead women into believing that they are content with being a woman’s ‘play brother’ or ‘male girlfriend,’ but in reality, these men really want to be involved with these women in some sort of romantic or sexual manner. Next, the misleading and manipulative ways of women: You have women who mislead men into believing that they never have, and never will engage in promiscuous and/or polyamorous sex, when the reality is, probably 4 out of every 5 women in society has engaged in at least a few episodes of short-term and/or non-monogamous ‘casual’ sex with SOME MAN. You have women who mislead men into believing that they want to be that man’s long-term girlfriend or future wife because they really, truly ‘love’ them … when the reality is, these women really want to connect with a man simply because they know they can have their way this man (i.e., control the relationship and ‘wear the pants’) and they know they will be able to monopolize that man’s financial resources in order to improve their overall quality of life. You have women who will allow themselves to get pregnant by a man who has never once expressed an interest in marrying them and never once expressed an interest in raising children with them, and then when those men refuse to date them, marry them, and raise a family with them, they turn around and suggest that this man ‘dogged them’ and is an ‘irresponsible parent.’ The main problem, as I see it, is that not too many men and women seem to be interested in engaging in romantic and sexual relationships that are mutually rewarding and beneficial, and full of honesty, sincerity, and genuine love and desire. In the world of sports, the participants are very competitive because at the end of the athletic event, they want to be labeled ‘the winner.’ In the world of athletic competition, that is how things are supposed to be. On the contrary, the world of dating and relationships is not supposed to be about one romantic companion ‘winning’ while the other sex partner ‘loses.’ In the last couple of decades, many men have been guilty of leading women on and toying with their emotions, while many women have been guilty of

leading men on and toying with their egos and their strong desire for sex. Both men and women deserve to be called out for behavior that is dishonest toward members of the opposite sex, that is disingenuous and duplicitous toward members of the opposite sex, and members of both genders need to be harshly admonished each time they are guilty of exhibiting blatantly misleading behavior and engaging in manipulative 'head games' with one another. Members of both genders are guilty of lying to their spouses or long-term romantic companions, and cheating on them with additional lovers behind their back. This is wrong. The appeal of marriage, and more specifically, strictly monogamous marriages, has diminished greatly since 1970. Look at the divorce rate in this country. It’s ridiculously high. The number of marriage proposals received by women who are 30 years of age or older have slowed to a crawl. The reality of women is simply this: NO WOMAN ‘NEEDS’ TO BE INVOLVED IN A LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP or MARRIAGE IN ORDER TO SECURE A MAN’S SEXUAL COMPANIONSHIP. PERIOD. Every man needs to absorb this and fully understand this. Sexual attention and sexual companionship is NEVER a woman’s number one priority for entering into a marriage or long-term romantic relationship. EVER. Any woman who possesses a reasonably attractive face and a reasonably sexy figure will always be able to gain a man’s sexual attention and companionship if she really, really wants it. Women’s primary motivation for entering into a long-term romantic relationship is so a man can provide them with a) emotional empathy and support, b) financial assistance and support (particularly if they she is raising one or more children with her spouse or companion), and/or c) dependable nonsexual companionship and entertaining conversation. Regular or semi-regular sex is never higher than #2 in importance on her list of relationship priorities, and many times, it is not even on a woman’s Top 5 list of her most important priorities; Many times, women know when a man proposes to them that they are not really attracted to that man, but they go ahead and marry the guy because either

a) he earns a lot of money and has offered to take care of her financially, b) her parents pretty much ‘pressured her’ to get married by a certain age, and/or c) they are 36 years of age or older and do not want to spend the rest of their life by themselves without any male companionship. So, bottom line, men are not totally upfront and straightforwardly honest with the women they meet about their promiscuous and/or polyamorous ways because they feel that might cause them to ‘miss out’ on the opportunity to have sex with a woman who has made it clear to them that she is only willing to engage in sexual activities with men within the context of a strictly monogamous relationship or marriage. Similarly, women fail to be totally upfront and straightforwardly honest with men about their promiscuous and/or polyamorous ways because women feel that the vast majority of men will deny them emotional support and access to their non-sexual companionship and financial resources. Again, this is why most women hate the labels ‘slut,’ ‘whore’ and ‘easy lay.’ Even though all women are flattered by the fact that men find them physically attractive and sexually desirable, many women do not like it when they feel that a man only wants to spend time with them for the sole and specific purpose of exchanging orgasms and nothing else beyond that. The only exception for most women would be men who they perceive to be Total Alpha male types. Women who have promiscuous and/or polyamorous tendencies don’t mind engaging in strictly sexual relationships with Total Alpha male types. What they will do is usually find a Total Beta male type to provide them with flattering and entertaining non-sexual companionship when they really need it. And often, they will find themselves a wealthy, unmarried Beta male with a few Alpha traits and tendencies to fulfill the role of ‘Sugar Daddy’ for them. Since I have already given my female readers the gist of what just about all men's dating advice centers on ('direct' vs. 'indirect' / PUA behavior), I will share with my male readers the gist of just about every dating advice book that is geared toward women that I have ever read or browsed through: 1) If you are genuinely a prudish and monogamy-oriented 'good girl', STAY THAT WAY by simply avoiding romantic and sexual interactions with any and all kinky and

promiscuous Total Alpha male types! Once a 'good girl' gets 'turned out' by an erotically dominant Alpha male, 99% chance, there is no going back!! (i.e., that former 'good girl' will become addicted to the sexual companionship of Alpha males) 2) If you are more of a kinky and promiscuous and/or polyamorous type woman, do not allow any form of 'slutshaming' to provoke you to change who you are and what you are about!! It is totally okay for women to 'sow their wild oats' with interested men in the same way that men have 'sowed their wild oats' with interested women for centuries!! Do not allow the infamous 'double-standard' to continue! 3) If you are, or used to be a kinky and promiscuous type woman ... but now, you want to 'transition' into being a more 'good girl' type in order to attract sexually conservative Beta males who are highly educated and earn a six or seven figure salary, DO NOT SHARE ANY DETAILS ABOUT YOUR SEXUAL PAST and your hot, kinky, satisfying sexual experiences with Alpha males!! Then, those wealthy Beta males will LOSE INTEREST!! Become a Wholesome Pretender and an Erotic Hypocrite when in the company of certified Beta males with high earning potential! (or for more short-term financial favors without actually going as far as to have sex with the Beta male, become a Manipulative Timewaster type) 4) (this one is the rarest of books for women, but ...) Enjoy the best of both worlds!! Get yourself a hot, kinky, dominant 'Bull' and an obedient, financially generous 'Cuckold' and 'Sugar Daddy'!! Have them both serve your sexual needs, your non-sexual needs, and your financial needs at the same time without lying to any of them!! As I lightheartedly expressed in Part Two of this paperback, the reason I am able to earn a living as a men's dating coach is because of #3 above (I teach men - both Alpha males and Beta males - how to quickly and effectively identify

Wholesome Pretender & Erotic Hypocrite types and Manipulative Timewaster types), and the main reason I am able to earn a living as a BDSM & Polyamory lifestyle Advisor and Consultant for women and couples is because of #2 and #4 above. I really do not work with women for #1 above. That is a hard lesson they are either going to have learn on their own or hope that their mother, father, big sister or big brother warns them about. So . . . what exactly needs to be modified in our dating rituals between men and women in order to create marriages and long-term romantic relationships that will be full of more honesty and sincerity and includes far less duplicity and manipulative 'head games?' What are some of the 'harsh realities' that each and every heterosexual single needs to be prepared for in today's dating scene? I have some ideas that I will throw out to you in the upcoming chapters, but first, I am going to offer a quick review of the Men’s Right’s Movement and the MGTOW movement. Continue reading my friend.

Chapter Nine

Examining the Men’s Rights Movement (MRM) and Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW) A lot of men and women in society may not be aware, but there have been a percentage of men who have had a negative reaction to The Feminist Movement for decades. The Men’s Rights Movement started in the 1970s as ‘The Men’s Liberation Movement.’ Here is an excerpt from Wikipedia: The Men's Liberation Movement developed in the early 1970s among heterosexual, middle-class men in Britain and North America as a response to the cultural changes of the 1960s and 1970s, including the growth of the feminist movement, counterculture, women's and gay liberation movements, and the sexual revolution. This movement later transitioned into being known as The Men’s Rights Movement (MRM). MRM is different than what is known as ‘Men Going Their Own Way’ (or MGTOW). The latter is directly related to heterosexual men’s current attitudes toward dating, relationships, sex, and marriage. MRM on the other hand has more to do with how men feel like the U.S. Government's legal and judicial system seems to have an unfair bias toward protecting and benefiting the needs, preferences, and priorities of women ... and the thing is, even many women agree.

THE MEN’S RIGHTS MOVEMENT (MRM) There are many (heterosexual) men in this country who feel like men are treated very unfairly when it comes to issues such as abortion, divorce, alimony payments, child support payments, child custody battles, domestic violence issues, false rape accusations, paternity fraud, financial assistance for men while being unemployed, as well as a number of other relevant issues for men in

society. Many men feel like there is an inherent ‘bias’ toward women in society, and that society basically treats men as if they are totally disposable compared to the lives and concerns of women. The 2014 film, Gone Girl, addresses this issue in a subtle manner when you examine the conversations that take place between the characters of Nick Dunne (Actor Ben Affleck) and Attorney Tanner Bolt (Actor Tyler Perry). Dunne is a cheating husband who has been set up and framed by his wife to make it look like he murdered her. When Dunne initially wants to blast his wife in the media, it is the smooth, savvy Bolt who basically informs Nick that he cannot just ‘blatantly attack’ women in the media. Bolt makes Dunne understand that bashing women in the media will only lead to public backlash, because Bolt asserts that the general public tends to always side with women and generally offers women ‘the benefit of the doubt’ in a man vs. woman controversy. Women have always been portrayed in the media and in movies and televisions programs as ‘innocent victims’ who are always being taken advantage of by ‘mean-spirited, bullying men.’ The reality is, that invalid generalization is simply not true. There are good men in society, and there are no-good men in society. Similarly, there are good women in society, and there are no-good women in society. The percentage of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ members within each gender is realistically about equal. Many divorce cases in society have definitely gone in favor of women in terms of awarding women huge sums of money. This makes a lot of men very, very angry and leaves them feeling bitter toward women. Same with a lot of child support and child custody cases. I’ve known men personally who have told me that their ex-wives and women who were the mothers to their children have frequently denied them access to having regular interactions with their son(s) and/or daughter(s) even when the courts awarded them so many hours and days of custody per month. It is hard for me to comment on many of these issues from personal experience, because I have never been married (at least, not as of the publishing of this paperback), and I currently do not have any children. I only hear stories from men I know personally, as well as the stories from disgruntled men that I

have read about on blog sites, internet message boards and discussion forums, and other MANosphere-related materials. For years, whenever a politician is running for public office, they always promise to ‘look after the concerns of women.’ Should they not be looking after the concerns of BOTH men and women? These media savvy politicians know exactly what they are doing. I do not like any faction of society that attempts to demonize all men, and cause all men to be viewed as the ‘bad guys’ when it comes to male-female interactions and relationships. Are there men who are physically, verbally, and emotionally abusive to women? Yes. There is no doubt that evil men like this exist. The reality is, there are also women in society who are more than capable of being physically, verbally, and emotionally abusive with their male spouses and romantic companions as well. The media does not seem to cover these incidents as much as they do with women. There are many evil women in society who don’t like men at all. These women are known as ‘misandrists.’ A misandrist is a hater of men in the same way a misogynist is a hater of women. You don’t hear the term ‘misandrist’ used in the media nearly as much as you hear the term ‘misogynist’ being used, and I believe this is very unfortunate. It is not fair to men at all. I am all for men joining together to objectively identify each and every one of the unfair practices that are currently in place in the U.S. legal and judicial system regarding a wide assortment of men’s rights related issues. In that regard, I am all for MRM. The only thing I would warn against is doing the same thing to women that many women do to men. Do not categorize ALL WOMEN as ‘the bad guys.’ There are a lot of women in society with good hearts and good intentions, and not all women are looking to take advantage of men in today’s judicial system.

MEN GOING THEIR OWN WAY (MGTOW) MGTOW members are more or less a ‘sub-faction’ of men who subscribe to the MANosphere in general. MGTOW members’ main belief is that proposing

marriage to women and entering into long-term monogamous type relationships with women is a total waste of time for men, and is even detrimental to their mental, emotional, and financial health in the long-run. There are a small percentage of MGTOW members, despite being heterosexual, who believe in avoiding all social contact with women completely and indefinitely. They do not believe in flirting with women, asking women on dates, or even attempting to seduce women into engaging in casual sexual activities with them. They literally believe that men should simply concentrate on their own career-related and financial-related goals and objectives, and just forget about women completely. Essentially, they believe in becoming ‘voluntarily asexual’ or relying on indefinite episodes of masturbation for orgasmic pleasure. The larger percentage of MGTOW members will still socially interact with women in small doses, and these men might even engage occasionally in a few episodes of short-term non-monogamous 'casual' sex with women, but they heavily frown on the idea of marriage, the idea of entering into a long-term monogamous ‘boyfriend-girlfriend’ type relationship, and the idea of ‘wining and dining’ women and spending money on women as any sort of 'Sugar Daddy' type in order to motivate women to have sex with them. Actually, a lot of the men who read my eBooks and paperbacks, and listen to my audiobooks, are self-proclaimed ‘MGTOW followers.’ These men very much still want to engage in casual sex activities with women, but they have absolutely no desire to get engaged, get married, or have children with women. They believe that strictly monogamous marriages simply have no long-term benefits for men whatsoever. They also do not believe in being ‘just friends’ with women either. They have no desire to become a woman’s 'play brother,' 'male girlfriend,' ‘White Knight’ or ‘Captain Save-a-Ho.’ Raw truth? The vast majority of men who are Total Alpha male types have always been 'MGTOW' when it comes to spending time with women in a nonsexual manner. Total Alpha male types are all about one thing and one thing only: having sex with women and ejaculating their semen into women's mouths and vaginas. That’s it. That is literally their number one purpose for living. They don't care about 'lovey dovey' romance stuff or playing the role of the 'boyfriend' or 'husband' to any woman. Most Total Alpha male types do not even want to assist a woman in raising children. If they were to have one or more sons, they

would prefer to raise those sons themselves ... without any assistance from the woman who gave birth to them. Otherwise, they do not want anything to do with children. What I am now going to do in the next six chapters of this eBook is offer six (6) very specific “harsh realities” in regard to the idea of strictly monogamous marriages and other general thoughts about men and women’s dating rituals in today's dating scene. Many women will probably vehemently disagree with a number of my strong opinions, and that is their right and prerogative to do so. I expect many philosophical disagreements. Even a number of men reading this paperback may find themselves having a philosophical disagreement with at least one or two of my strong assertions. If that ends up being the case, so be it. The bottom line is, if society keeps pretending that nothing is wrong with dating and relationships between heterosexual men and heterosexual (and bisexual) women in today’s society, then the degree of animosity between men and women is only going to continue to get worse. Fifty years from now, many heterosexual men will be engaging in sex with robots – that’s right, female-like robots – instead of women (they have already been experimenting with these 'fembots' in Japan). Continue reading my friend.



Chapter Ten

Reality #1 of Today’s Dating Scene: Alternative Relationships Have Diminished the Appeal of Strictly Monogamous Marriages If you have already read the first three chapters included in Part One of this paperback, you should now realize that initially, the idea of getting married had very little if anything to do with a man and woman’s sexual attraction for each other or their feelings of ‘true love’ between one another. Those factors were conveniently added on later. Hollywood and businesses looking to earn a profit were the primary entities in society that began placing extra emphasis on connecting the idea of ‘being in love’ with the goal of a man and a woman getting married. The reality is marriage, from a legal standpoint, should have nothing to do with one’s emotional feelings and sexual attraction. Both of those factors are too fickle, impulsive, and unpredictable. The entire notion of a strictly monogamous marriage is a man-made social construct. In other words, are you born with a ‘natural’ desire to get married one day? No, you are not. Organized religion, books, movies, television, magazines, music videos, newspapers, and other societal influences brainwash you to believe in the notion of ‘true love’ and marriage. A man or woman could feel like he or she is ‘in love’ with their spouse one day, and then later, after one or two episodes of adultery have been committed by their spouse, 90% or more of those ‘loving feelings’ have suddenly evaporated. A man or woman could have the strongest sense of ‘sexual lust’ for their husband or wife one month, but twenty-four to thirty-six months later, because their spouse is now ninety pounds heavier, their sense of insatiable sexual desire has now diminished almost entirely. You can deny this fact all you want to, but no one can be guaranteed that

‘true love’ will last forever. You can HOPE and WISH that those feelings will last, but the realistic fact of the matter is, emotional feelings toward other human beings are just way too fluctuating, temperamental, and unstable. No man or woman should ever use their own respective emotions as the foundation for what is supposed to be a permanent marital union. The first harsh reality of today’s dating scene I am going to express is this: the overall appeal of entering into a strictly monogamous marriage (for both men and women alike) has diminished greatly. There are just way too many ‘alternative relationships’ that are available to men and women that are mutually beneficial and rewarding that do not involve attempting to remain faithfully monogamous to one spouse until the day each one passes away. Here are what I would rank as the Top 5 best alternatives to a strictly monogamous, traditional marriage in today’s society: · Sugar Daddy-Sugar Baby (or ‘Sugar MamaStud’) arrangements · Bull-Cuckold-Hotwife arrangements · Openly Polyamorous Marriages or Cohabitation relationships and/or Concubinage arrangements · BDSM Erotic Domination & Submission relationships · Purely Platonic Married or Unmarried ‘CoParenting’ Unions There are many other types of alternative relationships, but for the purposes of this paperback, I will primarily concentrate on these five very popular alternatives to the 19th Century and 20th Century ‘old school’ idea of strictly monogamous marriages.

SUGAR DADDY-SUGAR BABY (or SUGAR MAMA-STUD) ARRANGEMENTS Very few men I know who are 40 years of age or older who earn approximately $150,000 (USD) or more per year and have never been married and do not have any children have an interest in dating or marrying women who are near their age or older. A few exceptions? Sure. There are always exceptions.

Generally speaking, most men who are 40 years of age or older who are earning a six or seven-figure income are interested in dating women and engaging in sexual activities with women who are as young as 18 years of age and no older than roughly 35. Arguably the top arrangement between an older man and a younger woman that comes the closest to being considered ‘legalized prostitution’ is what is known as a ‘Sugar Daddy-Sugar Baby’ relationship. (some alternative nicknames for ‘Sugar Daddy’ would be ‘Sponsor,’ ‘Financial Provider,’ and ‘A Mature & Financially Generous Gentleman,’ among other nicknames) Why is this relationship legal, but prostitution illegal? Prostitution, in concept, centers around a direct exchange of money for sexual pleasure. For example, if I approach a woman, and I say, “I will give you fifty dollars if you agree to perform oral sex on me,” that would be considered soliciting a woman for sexual services (i.e., prostitution), and that is illegal in all states except in many cities and counties in the state of Nevada. When a man becomes a woman’s ‘Sugar Daddy,’ he never offers to give the woman money directly in exchange for her providing him with sexual enjoyment and satisfaction. The woman who acts as the ‘Sugar Baby’ actually provides the man with her sexual companionship for free at her choice and discretion. What the man is actually spending money on is a woman’s nonsexual companionship (which is legal), even though the man involved knows deep-down that he wants access to a combination of both the woman’s sexual and non-sexual companionship. The other characteristic of a Sugar Daddy-Sugar Baby relationship is that neither the man or the woman is obligated to offer each other anything for any set length of time. So, the man is not obligated to provide the woman with any financial favors and materialistic gifts for any specific length of time if he feels that the relationship is no longer beneficial to him. The Sugar Daddy can cut the relationship off at any time, just like the Sugar Baby is also free to cut the relationship off at any time she pleases. Some men and women involved in these type of relationships have a ‘verbal contract’ between them, and others actually create a mutually agreed upon written contract that may specify the ‘allowance’ that the woman will be given, and the desired length of time that they both want the relationship to last.

The best thing to prevent blurring the line into the area of prostitution is for the Sugar Daddy to never, ever give the woman money directly before sex or directly after sex. Doing this can potentially place both the Sugar Daddy and the Sugar Baby in a compromising position that would bring unwanted legalities into play. One method is for the man to hire the Sugar Baby candidate as some sort of ‘personal assistant,’ but making sure to hire the woman as an ‘independent contractor’ instead of an employee who is a direct subordinate. When a man hires a woman as a direct employee and subordinate, then she would be in position to charge the man with sexual harassment if he hits on her for sex and she is not in the mood to reciprocate his sexual desires and interests. When a man hires a woman as an ‘independent contractor,’ the woman is no longer in a position to charge the man with any sort of ‘sexual harassment’ or ‘professional misconduct.’ The only thing she can do is end her business collaboration with this particular man, and go about her way. Another way that a man can pay a Sugar Baby ‘indirectly’ is to pay for many of her monthly or yearly expenses instead of paying her any money directly. This is what many Sugar Daddy types do. For example, the men will pay a woman’s college tuition and room & board expenses for her, her medical bills, most of her utility bills, her rent or mortgage, and her automobile insurance payments and monthly car note. The advantage of being a woman’s Sugar Daddy is that as a man, you know this woman is essentially ‘using you’ for your financial resources and she knows that you are essentially ‘using her’ for her youth, her beauty, and her sexual companionship. You know this going into the relationship so there are no real 'head games' going on. Therefore, there is no way that a woman can get away with initially ‘pretending’ that she is ‘truly in love with you,’ but then unexpectedly blindsiding you by filing for divorce and trying to claim ownership to half of your financial and material assets and a good chunk of your personal property. In other words, the vast majority of older heterosexual men I know with means would much rather interact with a Sugar Baby type than a highly materialistic gold digger type masquerading as a fiancée or wife who is genuinely 'in love'

with him when in reality she is simply plotting to take ownership of half of his financial assets and material possessions during divorce proceedings. When a man goes as far as to marry a woman, he many times becomes obligated to provide that woman with a high quality lifestyle even after he and the woman have divorced or are no longer attracted to each other. No man likes that. On the other hand, with a Sugar Daddy-Sugar Baby arrangement, you are never obligated to provide a woman with a quality lifestyle for a length of time that you are not comfortable with. When you offer to be a woman’s Sugar Daddy, you could limit your relationship with a woman to a few weeks, a few months, or maybe as long as four or five years. Some women have multiple Sugar Daddies and some men have multiple Sugar Babies. There are even websites available in today’s society that offer to match a Sugar Daddy candidate with a Sugar Baby candidate. And again … this is all totally legal. Generally speaking, the status of ‘Sugar Baby’ is usually reserved for women between the ages of 18 and 29, or maybe 18 and 35. A woman who is between 36 and 39 would be on the borderline for most Sugar Daddy types. As with anything, there are always exceptions. I once met a woman who was 45 years old who was a Sugar Baby for a man who was 68 years old. An older companion providing a younger companion with financial favors is not limited to only older men and younger women. The similar arrangement on the female side is commonly known as either a ‘Sugar Mama-Stud’ relationship or a ‘Cougar-Cub’ relationship. The latter does not usually involve financial favors, but sometimes it does. There are a number of women in society who are 40 years of age or older and earn a six or seven figure salary who will offer men as young as 18 and as old as 35 a certain degree of ‘financial favors’ in exchange for their sexual and non-sexual companionship. Especially if the man is a Total Alpha male type. In the mid-1990s while residing in Los Angeles, I myself engaged in a couple of short-term ‘Sugar Mama-Stud’ relationships. One lasted for a little over a year and another lasted for about six or seven months. There are a lot of women in society who are between 36 and 59 who have money who get very lonely and horny for male companionship to the point where they are willing to

financially compensate a man – and particularly a man who is 35 years of age or younger – for both his sexual and non-sexual companionship. Again, the advantage that these type of ‘arrangements’ have over marriage is that neither the man or woman involved feels ‘obligated’ to keep the relationship going once it has fully run its course. Once the attraction and chemistry begins to diminish, the two people involved simply mutually agree to end the relationship and move on with their lives. If you are a man or woman who does not consider yourself ‘shallow’ or ‘superficial,’ then I would not recommend Sugar dating to you. On the other hand, if you are realistic with yourself, and you know deep-down that you just want to exchange financial favors for youth, beauty, and sex appeal, then Sugar dating is the answer. Given a choice, I would much rather be exploited for my financial resources as a ‘Sugar Daddy’ than to be a Beta male with a few Alpha traits and tendencies type in a disingenuous marriage, and be ‘used’ for my financial resources and material assets by a materialistic and manipulative woman who never loved me to begin with … and to add insult to injury, that materialistic wife can potentially gain access to as much as half of your net worth in a divorce. Stick with the ‘Sugar Baby.’ If you are a man earning less than six figures, I would not even think about becoming a Sugar Daddy. It will be a waste of your time and most women’s time.

BULL-CUCKOLD-HOTWIFE ARRANGEMENTS There are some in the media who have proclaimed what is known as a ‘Bull-Cuckold-Hotwife’ arrangement as the top ‘alternative relationship’ that is growing the fastest in popularity in today's society. This relationship, or ‘arrangement,’ tends to blend elements of the BDSM (Erotic Domination & Erotic Submission) lifestyle with elements of the Polyamory lifestyle. In the world of BDSM, there are primarily four types of sexual

personalities: · Top Dom Master / Mistress · Switch · Flexible or Versatile · Bottom Sub Slave A ‘Top Dom Master / Mistress’ is a man or woman who enjoys being the erotically dominant partner no less than 99% of the time, and is the sex partner who issues out the commands and requests to their erotically submissive partner(s); A ‘Bottom Sub Slave’ is a man or woman who enjoys being the erotically submissive partner no less than 99% of the time, and is the sex partner who always seeks to be obedient to the commands and requests of their erotically dominant partner(s); A ‘Switch’ is a man or woman who is erotically dominant with at least one sex partner, but they are also completely erotically submissive with at least one totally different sex partner; A ‘Flexible’ or ‘Versatile’ is a man or woman who vacillates between being an erotically dominant partner and an erotically submissive partner with the same spouse or the same exact romantic or sexual companion. In a ‘Bull-Cuckold-Hotwife’ arrangement, the ‘Bull’ would be a man who has the personality and demeanor of a Total Alpha male type. The Bull would be the ‘Top’ or ‘Dom’ in the relationship. The Bull many times dominates both the Hotwife and the Cuckold, or in some cases, he just dominates the Hotwife, and he allows the Hotwife to exclusively dominate the Cuckold. The woman involved – regardless of whether she is married, engaged, or unmarried – is referred to as the ‘Hotwife.’ She is the ‘Switch’ in the relationship. The Hotwife is totally erotically submissive to her Bull (or Bulls … many times, she has more than one), but she is totally erotically dominant with her Cuckold. She usually allows her Cuckold to play the role of ‘obedient and submissive voyeur’ who watches her engage in sexual activities with her Bull(s) while he masturbates and then he usually cleans both the Bull's penis and the Hotwife's vagina when their episode of orgasmic pleasure has concluded.

The Cuckold would be a man who has the personality and demeanor of either a Total Beta male type or in some cases, a Beta male with a few Alpha traits and tendencies. The Cuckold would be the ‘Sub,’ ‘Bottom,’ or ‘Slave’ in this arrangement. The Cuckold’s job is to obey everything the Hotwife tells him to do, and to prepare her body to have sex with her designated Bulls. Most of the time, the Cuckold only rarely gains the opportunity to engage in vaginal intercourse with the Hotwife. The vast majority of the time, the Cuckold only gains the opportunity to perform oral sex on his Hotwife prior to the Bull engaging in sexual activities with the Hotwife. Many times, he also has to perform oral sex on the Hotwife after the Bull has ejaculated into the Hotwife’s vagina. This arrangement is sort of like combining the aforementioned ‘Sugar Mama-Stud’ relationship with a ‘Sugar Daddy-Sugar Baby’ relationship, with the only difference being that the ‘Stud’ involved is a very erotically dominant ‘Bull’ and the ‘Sugar Daddy’ involved is a very obedient and erotically submissive ‘Cuckold.’ Most Bulls usually possess a very athletic physique and an above-average sized penis. Sometimes, the Bull is identified by his race if the other two partners are of a different ethnicity. For example, if the Bull is African-American and the Hotwife and Cuckold are both Caucasian, then he would be referred to as a ‘Black Bull.’ If the Bull is a Latino or Spaniard, he will be referred to as a ‘Latin Bull.’ The key personality characteristic for a Bull type is that he absolutely has to be a combination of very kinky and extremely erotically dominant with women. Cuckold types are usually men who seek to share the company of a woman who is generally considered ‘out of their league.’ Many Cuckolds are as young as roughly 25 years old, and as old as in their sixties or seventies. Cuckolds usually earn no less than high five figures, and as much as seven figures. If the Cuckold is older, he usually has erectile dysfunction problems and sexual impotence and stamina problems. If the Cuckold is younger, he usually feels very ‘egotistically insecure’ regarding his ability to please and satisfy a woman in bed, and he typically possesses a less-than-average sized penis. The key personality trait for a Cuckold type is that he loves to be dominated by women, and even verbally disrespected and humiliated by women. Some say

this comes from the man having a mother or step-mother who was extremely dominant with them and used to browbeat them as a child or teenager. Hotwife types are women who want to ‘have their cake and eat it too.’ These are women who want to enjoy the seductive charm and sexual prowess offered by the typical Total Alpha male type, but they also want to take advantage of both the financial resources and the non-sexual companionship that a Beta male with a few Alpha traits and tendencies or a Total Beta male type has to offer them. They themselves are usually very attractive and maintain a figure that is very athletically toned and her weight is very well proportioned. In some cases, the Hotwife and the Cuckold will be legally married, but in many other cases, they will engage in a long-term version of a ‘Sugar DaddySugar Baby’ arrangement. Obviously, if the two are married, it is not a strictly monogamous marriage between the two (many times, the Cuckold will remain faithfully and obediently monogamous to his Hotwife, while the Hotwife is free to see as many men as she chooses to). In a nutshell, the Cuckold is the Hotwife's 'bitch.' I would recommend this type of arrangement for men who are Total Beta male types who have absolutely no desire to become more ‘Alpha.’ If you have no desire to make any changes or improvements mentally, physically, sexually, and otherwise, then being a woman’s bitch is probably better than you sitting at home jerking off to internet pornography. At least in this scenario, when you jerk off, you are jerking off to live sex taking place in front of your eyes.

OPENLY POLYAMOROUS MARRIAGES or COHABITATION RELATIONSHIPS and/or CONCUBINAGE ARRANGEMENTS I mentioned in an earlier chapter that the marital arrangement that comes the closest to representing ‘legal polygamy’ is when a man is married with a wife, but he also has one or more concubines. A concubine is an additional lover or ‘openly known mistress’ for a married man that his wife knows about, approves of, and even socially interacts with regularly. Many times, a married man’s concubine will reside in the same household as the married couple, and might even take on household responsibilities such as

functioning as the married couple’s nanny, housekeeper, or cook and personal chef. There are many men who live in cultures and countries where concubinage is considered totally normal and acceptable, although here in the United States, many men and women are unfamiliar with this concept and may find it a bit ‘strange.’ When a married man has one or more concubines, usually he and his wife establish a certain set of ‘parameters’ for the concubines. For example, usually the concubine can never allow herself to get pregnant by the married man. Also, the wife always gets first preference over when she can have sex with her husband. Concubinage is a very effective form of engaging in an openly polyamorous marriage in a situation where the wife only wants to engage in sexual activities with her husband, but she has no problems with her husband engaging in sexual activities with one or more additional lovers. Technically, a wife can also take on one or more male concubines herself, but that scenario is very rare. A Bull-Cuckold-Hotwife arrangement tends to replace a woman’s need for male concubines. Many unmarried couples who enjoy an openly polyamorous lifestyle simply tend to cohabitate instead of getting married. In some cases, they may cohabitate with multiple other openly polyamorous couples. This is known in the Polyamory lifestyle as a ‘Polyamorous Family.’ For example, if three unmarried polyamorous couples pool their resources together and purchase a house for all six of them, and each of the three male companions are having sex with each of the three female companions, this would represent a Polyamorous Family. In other situations, you might have two or more unmarried polyamorous couples who reside in the same apartment or townhouse complex, or the same subdivision. There are a number of married couples who engage in an openly polyamorous union. The married couple will usually engage in sex with each other, and in addition, each will have other designated lovers that their spouse knows about and approves of. One form of polyamorous dating among married couples is known as 'couple-swapping.' There are many married couples who are

openly polyamorous who regularly engage in sexual activities with other married couples. These types of arrangements and relationships have become very popular among a lot of polyamorous men and women in the 21st Century. Polyamory is considered by most to be a 'middle-of-the-road' compromise between strict monogamy and wild, wide-open promiscuity. When you are openly polyamorous, you gain the opportunity to enjoy sex with two or more companions, but at the same time, your multiple sex partners are approved of by all of your other sex partners, and everyone makes sure that all of their chosen partners remain STD free. Many men who are Total Alpha male types have engaged in openly polyamorous relationships and marriages for centuries. Total Alpha male types have never believed in strict monogamy (although they will usually welcome a woman who offers to be strictly monogamous to them). There is an old adage that goes, “if you truly love someone, give them the freedom to interact with others romantically and sexually. If after their experiences, they come back to you and only want to be with you, then that person was always yours. If you never hear from them again after their experiences with others, then that means they were never yours in the first place.”

BDSM (Erotic Domination & Submission) RELATIONSHIPS What if you took a Bull-Cuckold-Hotwife arrangement, and you eliminated either the ‘Bull’ or ‘Cuckold’ out of the relationship? In the world of the BDSM lifestyle, this would be known simply as an ‘Erotically Dominant / Submissive’ relationship. A BDSM relationship can be strictly monogamous or openly polyamorous. Most long-term BDSM relationships are usually between an erotically dominant man and an erotically submissive woman. Rarely will you find a high number of BDSM relationships that include an erotically dominant woman and an erotically submissive man, with the exception of the more popular Bull-Cuckold-Hotwife arrangements.

If the erotically submissive partner is strictly monogamous to her erotically dominant male partner, this means that she has been ‘collared.’ This means that this particular BDSM sub can only obey the commands and requests of her BDSM Dom. She can no longer take orders or satisfy requests for any other male dominant other than her one Master. If a BDSM sub is not collared, then this means that she can have two or more BDSM Dominants in her life if she so chooses. Many male Doms share one or more of their submissives with other male Doms to enjoy sexually. BDSM relationships are very appealing for men who do not like being romantically or sexually involved with women who they consider to be ‘too bossy,’ ‘too moody,’ ‘too argumentative,’ and ‘too demanding’ and ‘high maintenance.’ Beginning with 2010, I have assisted a number of men and women in making the transition from a conventional, traditional, strictly monogamous relationship or marriage to one that has more BDSM and/or Polyamory undertones to them. A study was released in 2013 that said that men and women who are involved in the BDSM lifestyle experienced ‘better mental health’ than those involved in conventional marriages or romantic relationships, and they experienced less arguments and disagreements as well as a higher degree of romantic and sexual passion than those involved in traditional relationships. Based on my many experiences and observations, I would have to agree. My relationships with women that have been of a BDSM nature were MUCH more enjoyable and satisfying than my romantic and sexual relationships with women that did not include any type of erotic domination and submission themes. Personally, I am not too heavy into the physical side of BDSM (e.g., flogging, handcuffing, whipping, tying up women with ropes, paddling, among other activities). The most physical form of BDSM that I have engaged in is hand-spanking the naked buttocks of a BDSM sub when she has been disobedient or smart-alecky with me. Verbally and psychologically, I am usually extremely erotically dominant with my BDSM subs.

Many BDSM companions sign written contracts so that they can agree upon what is allowed and what will not be allowed. Your BDSM subs are allowed to use at least two ‘Safewords’ whenever they feel uncomfortable with a sexual situation: · ‘Yellow’ or ‘Banana’ means that your BDSM sub does not necessarily want you to stop what you are doing, but they do want you to slow down and reduce the level of physical force or verbal harshness you may be displaying with them; · ‘Red’ or ‘Strawberry’ means that your BDSM sub wants you to stop whatever it is you are doing immediately because of either some sort of physical pain or discomfort, some sort of emotional pain or discomfort, or because a child, acquaintance, family member, or unknown visitor has entered the room or the residential premises unexpectedly. Think of Safewords like a traffic light. A yellow traffic light means ‘caution … slow down’ and a red traffic light means ‘stop … right now!’ It’s the same with BDSM Safewords. Not everyone is cut out to participate in the BDSM lifestyle and/or Polyamory lifestyle. For example, if you are a man or woman who becomes very angry and jealous when you see your romantic companion or steady sex partner being flirtatious with other members of the opposite sex, then you should just stick to strictly monogamous romantic relationships and marriages. I would recommend the BDSM lifestyle to any Beta male type who wants to ‘re-claim’ his sense of manhood and masculinity. Realistically, you are only going to go in one of two directions: Either your ‘suppressed Alpha side’ is going to be unleashed, or your true submissive Beta side is going to become more pronounced. Either, or. There you have it.

PURELY PLATONIC MARRIAGES and UNMARRIED CO-PARENTING UNIONS

Sometimes men and women in society tend to assume that if the parents of one or more children reside in the same household, that it automatically means the married or unmarried parents are ‘deeply in love’ and engaging in sexual activities on a regular or semi-regular basis. This is not necessarily true in today's more free-spirited dating climate. A very underrated and overlooked arrangement that some parents of children engage in is what is known as a purely platonic ‘co-parenting union.’ The parents can be unmarried or married and openly polyamorous. A man or woman’s emotional feelings and sexual desires should have nothing to do with their desire to raise children in a healthy, drama-free environment. To take it a step further, sometimes a Gay man will impregnate (either via intercourse or through artificial insemination) a woman who is just a ‘very good friend’ of his, and the two will agree to raise the children together until their youngest child graduates from high school or college. Raising children with your ‘best friend’ who is a member of the opposite sex can be very rewarding for men and women. Filmmaker Spike Lee’s 2004 film, She Hate Me, centered around a similar situation involving a Lesbian woman (Actress Kerry Washington) who desires to get pregnant and raise a child with one of her platonic male friends (Actor Anthony Mackie). The clear advantage of these type of relationships (or ‘arrangements’) is that you do not allow the fickle, impulsive, and unpredictable nature of your emotional feelings toward someone or your constantly fluctuating desire to have sex with this person to interfere with your desire to have both biological parents raise one or more children without major problems or arguments. This type of arrangement prevents contentious child support battles and child custody disagreements. The objective of the parents is simply to raise their children. This situation is ideal for men and women who know they possess a very promiscuous and/or polyamorous nature, but they still want to be in a situation to raise children without a lot of ‘unnecessary drama’ or constantly changing step-mothers and step-fathers being involved throughout the course of their children’s life. If there is one period of time in a woman’s life when many of them will

seek out this type of arrangement with a male friend who they trust is when they know their ‘biological clock’ is coming to an end, and they want to give birth to at least one child before they hit their menopause stage. Many times, if the woman is wealthy or financially self-sufficient, she will sign a contract legally waiving any type of financial child support payments from the biological father. This option is a great option for women who are roughly 35 years of age or older who have never been married and never given birth to a child, but who very badly want to raise at least one child, and they want some degree of nonfinancial assistance and support from a man in doing so. So, as you can surmise, there are a lot of alternative options men and women have in today’s society other than to enter into a strictly monogamous marriage or strictly monogamous cohabitation situation. One service I would look into if you are considering experimenting with any form of openly polyamorous relationships is one called XOXY. Once you become a registered subscriber of XOXY.com, men and women will know that you a) have no (recent) history of testing positive for sexually transmitted diseases and b) you have no history of violent crimes and sexual-related felonies. I believe this service might help revolutionize openly polyamorous marriages and relationships in today's society. In the next chapter, I will offer my very next ‘21st Century Dating Reality’ which centers on the fact that just about all Alpha males hate spending too much time with women in a non-sexual manner, but because of The Beta Male Revolution, now ... most Beta males feel the exact same way. Continue reading my friend.

Chapter Eleven

Reality #2 of Today’s Dating Scene: Alpha Males Do Not Like Spending Time with Women in a Platonic Manner ... and Now, Neither Do Beta Males Lighthearted ‘disclaimer’: If you are an Alpha male type reading this eBook, you might as well skip this chapter. This chapter is representative of me ‘preaching to the choir.’ Also, if you read my other book entitled, The Possibility of Sex: How Naïve and Lustful Men are Manipulated by Women Regularly, then you already know where this chapter is going. This chapter is for the Beta male types and the women … and particularly, women who are very naïve and delusional about men’s real motivations to spend time with them. If you are a woman reading this eBook, let me make something very, very clear to you: Men, generally speaking, have no interest in maintaining a purely platonic ‘friendship’ with a woman who they find physically attractive and sexually appealing. Period. I remember when I was young, I would often hear some women refer to a man who was in his forties, fifties, or sixties as a ‘dirty old man’ if he flirted with women in a sexually provocative manner, particularly if the women were younger than him. Now that I am 53 years old, I am here to proclaim: There is no such thing as a ‘dirty old man.’ That term is a myth perpetuated by delusional women. Speaking for myself and most men I know who are in my same age group, it is not that a man gets ‘hornier for sex’ as he gets older. I would make the argument that the vast majority of men’s desire for sex usually decreases to one degree or another as they get older. The reason it seems like men get hornier and more lustful as they get older is because their desire and tolerance for being around women in a non-physical,

non-sexual, purely platonic manner drops drastically. Pretend you are looking at a graph with two vertically rectangle graph bars side by side. One vertical rectangle represents my desire to spend time with women sexually, and the other vertical rectangle represents my desire to spend time with women non-sexually. On a scale from 1-100, when I was 23 years old, my level of desire to spend time with women sexually was probably somewhere between 95 and 100, and my level of desire to spend time with women non-sexually was probably somewhere between 45 and 50. Now that I am 53, my level of desire to spend time with women sexually is probably between 75 and 80, and my level of desire to spend time with women non-sexually is probably between 5 and 10 … and that is being very generous in regard to the non-sexual rating. Business and professional-related collaborations and interactions aside, I simply have very little if any desire or enthusiasm toward spending time with women in a purely platonic manner. A woman’s non-sexual companionship does nothing for me. Nothing. The thing is, I know for a fact that I am not alone. Just about every Alpha male type I know has shared with me the same sentiments. The only men I know, generally speaking, who have a high tolerance for being around women regularly in a purely platonic manner are usually Beta male types. Alpha males either want to be around women strictly for sexual purposes, or at minimum, a blend of sexual and non-sexual companionship. The worst is the men who I have categorized in this eBook as the Total Alpha male type. Men in this category absolutely hate spending a significant amount of time with women in a non-physical, non-sexual manner. They simply have no interest. A man who is an Alpha male with a few Beta traits and tendencies will do a much better job of tolerating being around a woman he truly cares for and loves in a non-sexual manner, but even these men do not like to spend too much time with women in a non-physical, non-sexual manner when their primary objective is short-term and/or non-monogamous sex. I believe that the vast majority of ‘platonic friendships’ between single heterosexual men and women are disingenuous. As mentioned in my other eBooks, paperbacks, and audiobooks, I refer to disingenuous friendships

between men and women as FunClubbing. Anytime you are ‘pretending’ to be content with being ‘just friends’ with a member of the opposite sex, but you know deep-down that you would rather be engaging in a series of social interactions with that person that include a high degree of romantic and sexual undertones to them, then this means that you are guilty of FunClubbing with that person. One of the reasons why I hate watching most television shows as well as a lot of romantic comedies and dramas is because they always show men being totally enthusiastic about being a good looking, sexy woman’s ‘male girlfriend’ or ‘play brother.’ That is so unrealistic. Real talk: Women love being around men in a purely platonic manner much more than the average man loves being around women in a purely platonic manner. Most men – and particularly Alpha males – are either content being by themselves, or they prefer the company of other men in situations when they are not feeling particularly horny. One story I have told to my talk radio listeners probably two dozen times is about when I was a part of this very regimented, borderline ‘cult-like’ church in Los Angeles between late Summer of 1994 and December of 1996. Arguably the single most interesting sermon I ever listened to attentively was when this guest minister was preaching about how men and women should avoid premarital sex and they should ideally wait until marriage to engage in sexual activities with each other. More specifically within that same sermon, he expressed his harsh criticisms regarding what he felt was a significant increase in the number of ‘purely platonic friendships’ between single men and single women in today’s society. He said (paraphrasing a bit), “I am not a fan of single men and single women maintaining all of these platonic friendships with each other. This delays your goal of finding your husband or wife. There is no part of the Bible where God or Jesus Christ encourages men to maintain a high number of platonic friends with women. God did not place human beings with two different set of

genitalia on Earth in order for them to nurture and maintain a platonic friendship with each other. No sir. God placed men and women on Earth to date, mate, and reproduce themselves. This is what you all need to be doing. Date, mate, and reproduce yourselves. That is your number one mission here on Earth.” I probably yelled out the loudest ‘Amen’ in response to his comments than I ever have in my personal history of attending a Sunday morning church service. Speaking of my time spent in that church in Los Angeles, here was the interesting thing I noticed: very few of the men behaved in a sexually aggressive manner toward the women in the church. Just about all of the men in the church behaved like sexually self-controlled and respectful ‘gentlemen’ toward the women in the church. Matter of fact, there were actually more incidents of the women in the church being sexually aggressive with the men than vice versa. This was an epiphany for me. What I have come to realize is this: Most men have a much harder time being around women in a purely platonic manner when they know those women are regularly engaging in sexual activities with other men outside the context of a husband-wife relationship or a long-term ‘boyfriend-girlfriend’ relationship. If you place the average man in a social situation where he knows that the women he is socializing with are very sexually active, and even more so, very promiscuous, his sexually aggressive tendencies are going to begin to reveal themselves. This is what I feel contributes highly to men committing date-rape with women and sexual assault with women. Do your research. There were not too many cases of rape and date-rape on college campuses before the Sexual Revolution took place in the 1960s and early 1970s. Most men in the early to middle portion of the 20th Century would be dreadfully afraid of attempting to date-rape or sexually assault a woman, because most women’s fathers were extremely overprotective, if not flat-out crazy (I joke with people all the time, the fear of receiving retribution from a woman’s psychotic father is the most effective deterrent to sexual aggression by a man). In today’s society, incidents of rape, date-rape, and sexual assault happen almost on a weekly basis. In my opinion, this is no accident. It is not so much that men’s behavior has changed for the worse, but I would argue that more

specifically, men’s perceptions and assumptions regarding women’s sexual behavior has dramatically changed in the last few decades. In blunt terms, most men today tend to view most women in today’s society as being very promiscuous. And this perception has caused men to become much more sexually aggressive with women when they feel they are in the company of a woman who is very sexually active and promiscuous (especially if the woman has alcohol in their system) than they do when they are in the company of a woman who they perceive to be a virgin, a woman practicing premarital celibacy, or a woman who they perceive to be extremely prudish and strictly monogamy-oriented. Total Alpha male types are going to be the least likely to commit date-rape and attempt to sexually assault a woman (with the exception of instances where they may be inebriated). Total Alpha types are very egotistical, and consequently, they expect most women to 'throw themselves at them.' So, because of that, they rarely are inappropriately or excessively aggressive with women of interest. Alpha male with a few Beta traits and tendencies types are generally not going to be too sexually aggressive with women (again, unless they happen to be inebriated at the time). Men in this category will seek to 'test' some women to see if they are a more of a prudish and monogamy-oriented 'good girl' type or more of a kinky and promiscuous and/or polyamorous type, but it is highly doubtful that they will go as far as to (knowingly or intentionally) date-rape or sexually assault a woman. Beta male with a few Alpha traits and tendencies types can be very 'passive-aggressive' and emotionally volatile at times. Therefore, men in this category have an extremely hard time tolerating what they perceive to be 'mixed signals' from a woman of interest. For example, if a woman is being flirtatious with a man in this category, but she may not be 100% enthusiastic about engaging in vaginal intercourse, a good number of men in this category may find themselves becoming 'inappropriately aggressive' with women because of their emotional and egotistical frustration. Advice to men in this category: Be direct. Make sure the women you are looking to engage in oral sex with, anal sex with, and vaginal intercourse with are 100% interested in allowing you to do so. Do not accept 'vague and ambiguous' responses. Advice to women: Be very firm, specific, and definite regarding your 'yes' and 'no' responses. Don't find

yourself in a 'compromising position' when you know it could have been prevented and avoided. Total Beta male types tend to include a lot of men who possess 'psychopath' and/or 'sociopath' type proclivities. Many men in this category have literally gone months, years, or even decades without sexual interaction with women. Sometimes, they reach a point where they simply cannot control their level of sexual desire and sexual frustration any longer. Some men in this category are like a 'time-bomb' of sexuality waiting to happen. The hardcore truth is that very few men can handle the feeling of being 'left out of the fun' that other men are enjoying with women. For some men, particularly those who are mentally and emotionally unstable or men who have a boat load of testosterone in their system, this situation brings out a lot of men’s ‘dark side’ and violent side. There is a joke I have heard a number of times: “What is the difference between a ‘ho’ and a ‘bitch’? A ho is a woman who is having sex with every man in your neighborhood INCLUDING you. A bitch is a woman who is having sex with every man in your neighborhood EXCEPT you.” I now speak to many men and women on college campuses about date-rape prevention and sexual assault prevention (in association with an organization entitled Take Back The Night). Both men and women need to be enlightened on what goes on in the minds of the opposite sex in order to prevent 'compromising situations.' Upfront, specific, straight-to-the-point verbal communication is key. Many men I have met over the years actually do refer to women as ‘bitches’ when they feel like a woman is willing to have sex with every guy in their social circle BUT him. No woman should seek to develop a long-lasting friendship with a man who she knows has some sort type of romantic and sexual attraction for her. I would emphatically warn women against doing this. You are almost asking for that man to become sexually aggressive toward you at some point. My recommendation is that a woman only seek to maintain purely platonic friendships with men who they are convinced have no desire to date them and have no desire to engage in casual sex with them.

How do you find out a man’s true motivations? Ask him if he is interested in having sex with you. Ask this so-called ‘platonic friend’ of yours, “[insert man’s first name here], if I offered you the opportunity to engage in sexual activities with me, would you be willing to have sex with me?” Preferably, you should ask the man this question in a relatively ‘safe’ environment (e.g., a public library, restaurant, bookstore, etc.). If the man flat-out turns you down, then he is worth keeping as a platonic friend. If the man either quickly reciprocates your offer of sex, or gives you a long, heartfelt speech … but then later reciprocates your offer of sex … then that man is not ‘platonic friend’ material. Note: Do not ask a man this question while he has drugs or alcohol in his system. Most women are not going to take heed to any of my advice in this chapter simply because the vast majority of women love male attention too much. This goes back to why most women love the companionship of Beta males. Beta males are far more likely than Alpha males to invest a significant amount of time flattering women, entertaining women, and ‘wining and dining’ women – particularly women who have yet to confirm an interest in having sex with them. If a woman is not offering an Alpha male type either her sexual companionship only, or a blend of her sexual and non-sexual companionship, Alpha male types are not going to be interested in spending time with any woman more than maybe once or twice. Women need to recognize the biological tendencies and true motivations of men. Do not allow yourselves to remain naïve and delusional. You may think playfully ‘teasing’ your male platonic friend in a sexual manner is ‘fun’ and egotistically satisfying, but I am warning you: you are playing with fire, and one day you are going to get burned. Trust. Just remember: NO HETEROSEXUAL MAN GENUINELY WANTS TO MAINTAIN A PURELY PLATONIC FRIENDSHIP WITH A WOMAN INDEFINITELY IF HE FINDS THAT WOMAN TO BE PHYSICALLY ATTRACTIVE and SEXUALLY APPEALING.

Don’t be fooled by men who are doing an Academy Award winning job of FunClubbing. Those men are just waiting for the right time on the right day to make their move. In the next chapter, I am going to discuss an issue that is similar to the subject matter of this chapter, and that is the fact that most Beta male types in today’s society are no longer falling for the ‘That Alpha male treated me so badly … and now I need a nice, sweet Beta male to rescue me’ sob story routine. Most Beta males today no longer look at Alpha male types as the ‘bad guys.’ They more so look at sexually duplicitous, highly manipulative and materialistic women as the ‘bad guys.’ Continue reading my friend.

Chapter Twelve

Reality #3 of Today’s Dating Scene: Men Have No Desire to ‘Court’ or ‘Woo’ a Woman Who They Have No Desire to Marry Women. Bless their little naïve and delusional hearts. One of the most frequent complaints I receive from (single) women is, “Alan, why don’t men seek to ‘court’ us and ‘woo’ us anymore? It seems as though every man I meet is just looking to jump right into the sack with me. I think that is so shallow!” Don’t blame men. Blame the other members of your gender. Think about it: If you always had to pay for the food at your favorite restaurant … but then, all of the sudden you saw other patrons of that restaurant receiving the same food you are eating for FREE … would you be motivated to continue paying for that food? No. You would not. Same concept applies to male-female relationships. Beta males no longer want to invest a significant amount time and money ‘wining and dining’ women who are not guaranteeing these men that they are willing to have sex with them when they see Total Alpha male types and Alpha male with a few Beta traits and tendencies types getting women in bed without spending any money on them and without promising them any long-term monogamy. To do so would be economic stupidity. If you read my book, Mode One: Let the Women Know What You’re REALLY Thinking, I discuss this scenario in Chapter Five. I remember once I was at a nightclub, and there was this guy who had spent a lot of time with this woman non-sexually, and he spent a lot of money on her … and he had not even had sex with her yet. When this same guy mentioned the woman’s name to these other two guys at the club, they started laughing. Long story short, the two guys who were laughing ended up letting the naïve Beta male type know that they had both had sex with this woman within a

few hours after meeting her, and they spent no money on her nor did they spend any time with her non-sexually. Soon, the Beta male guy was seething with anger. You see, there was a time when many women who were sexually duplicitous and highly manipulative covert ‘gold digger’ types were able to get over on and seduce Beta male types into long-term relationships with ease. How would they do it? Easy. They would paint the picture for Beta male types that all men who were womanizing Alpha male types were the ‘wolves in sheep’s clothing,’ and that they were the ‘innocent victims’ who got ‘used and abused’ by these lying, selfish men. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Then came the knowledge, wisdom, and advice offered in the MANosphere, and everything changed. Beta male types began to slowly but surely realize, these women knew what they were doing. These men realized that the vast majority of women who have interacted with Alpha male types sexually did so because they simply wanted to. Not because they were ‘tricked’ into having sex or ‘coerced’ into having sex by 'mean, conniving, or forceful' Alpha males. I repeat once again: Women who are kinky, women who are very feminine and submissive, and women who possess a high degree of promiscuous and/or polyamorous tendencies are always going to prefer the sexual companionship of an Alpha male type over the sexual companionship of a Beta male type. These women would go crazy if all Alpha male types were to suddenly decide that they wanted to be strictly monogamous with women. These women would go nuts. I am going to let you men in on a little secret about women: The vast majority of women get bored when they are always treated by men as the ‘good girl’ type. They are flattered by that, and they find it representative of a man being a respectful ‘gentleman' and all, but beyond that, it bores them to death. When a woman's interest in you is financial assistance and support, and entertaining conversation and enjoyable non-sexual social companionship, then yes … she wants to be treated like the ‘respectable good girl.’

When a woman is horny, wants a man to bang her hard and cause her to experience multiple orgasms, the least thing she wants from a man is for that man to treat her like a ‘good girl’ type. She wants to be treated like a kinky slut in the bedroom. Even this somewhat pretentious and prudish female guest I interviewed once on my talk radio show admitted that. She said, “I will agree Alan … every woman wants to be treated like a slut in the bedroom. It is outside of the bedroom where most women have problems with that sort of treatment.” Then why don’t women simply choose to interact with Alpha male types exclusively? Here are a few reasons why (note: some of these reasons have already been highlighted in previous chapters, so they may appear to be repetitive): · Most Alpha male types, and particularly Total Alpha male types, do not like to spend time with women in any sort of non-physical, non-sexual manner; Many women eventually find this trait to be very frustrating; also, the vast majority of Total Alpha male types are very hard to get along with personality wise on a day-to-day basis (mainly because they always expect to have their way) · Along the lines of the first point above, Alpha male types are not really into spending a lot of time flattering women, entertaining women, and listening to women ‘whine and complain’ about the various problems in their life; Alpha male types feel like they have better things to do with their free time; · Most Alpha male types either a) do not earn as much money as many Beta male types do, or b) if they do earn a decent amount of money, they are going to spend it on multiple women as opposed to just one (e.g., if an Alpha male type has say $10,000 to spend on women, then he is going to spend an average of $500 on 20 women or maybe $1,000 on 10 women rather than spend $10,000 on one woman);

· Most Alpha male types, with the possible exception of those who are maybe 40 years of age or older, are never going to commit themselves to remaining faithfully monogamous to just one woman indefinitely. Alpha male types are almost always going to be invited by multiple women to engage in sexual activities frequently giving these men more than their fair share of options for female companionship. Alpha male types in today’s society simply have no motivation to ‘woo’ and ‘court’ a woman. For what reason? The sexual appeal of an Alpha male is just in a woman’s nature, and has been for a number of centuries ... even before the days of fancy, expensive cars and six-figure incomes. And because of the Beta Male Revolution, even the vast majority of Beta male types are no longer interested in lengthy courtships with women, unless they know for a fact that those women are very prudish and monogamy-oriented, and have never, ever engaged in sexual relations with multiple Alpha male types. If you are very observant, you will notice something about many women. When an Alpha male type will invite them to engage in a few episodes of shortterm and/or non-monogamous ‘casual’ sex, even if those women are not interested, they will usually respond with a lighthearted reaction of, “you are SO BAD … you are naughty. You’re a bad boy!” Conversely, when a woman perceives a man to be more of a Beta male type, and that man expresses an interest in only indulging in short-term, nonmonogamous type sex, many women will behave as though they are “offended” and “insulted.” They will quite frequently have a very ‘negative’ reaction to a Beta male type’s sexual advances. There is a simple reason for that along the lines of everything I have been discussing. Women don’t mind engaging in short-term and/or non-monogamous sex with Alpha male types because they firmly believe that they are going to enjoy themselves just as much if not more than the men are. They confidently assume that the Alpha male types are going to do a thorough job of leaving them feeling pleased and totally satisfied in bed.

Women do not feel the same way about Beta male types sexually. Most women feel like they are going to be bored to death in bed with a Beta male type. They feel like these men are not going to do an adequate job of leaving them feeling pleased and satisfied in bed. Many women have been known to ‘fake’ their orgasms with Beta male types just so that they can end the sex session as soon as possible. It usually takes a lot longer for a Beta male type to 'get a woman in the mood' than it does for an Alpha male type to do the same. Female sex toys were created for women who experience unsatisfying sex with Beta male types. Have you noticed that just about all Beta male types tend to express comments like, "Women are simply not as interested in sex as men are!" or "I don't think women really like sex! It's us men who are always horny!!" Yeah, RIGHT. You will never hear an Alpha male express such comments. Never. Women are always horny to engage in sex with an Alpha male type. Always. Women do not make Alpha males 'jump through hoops' as a prerequisite for getting in their pants. That is a tactic specifically reserved for Beta male types. Secondly, most women tend to assume that Beta male types are going to be much more willing to offer a woman of interest their non-sexual attention and companionship and access to their financial resources in exchange for that woman’s sexual attention and companionship. This is what the vast majority of women who are manipulative, materialistic, and sexually duplicitous bank on. When a man who a woman perceives to be a Beta male type refuses to offer either one (financial assistance and support OR long-term monogamy), women become VERY ANGRY. The reality of women is simply this: most women who possess promiscuous and/or polyamorous tendencies don’t mind a Total Alpha male type treating them like a ‘kinky slut’ because of the simple fact that they view Total Alpha male types in the exact same way. Women do not really want Total Alpha male types as their next husband or next long-term boyfriend. They just want those guys for a convenient “kinky roll in the hay” whenever they are horny and in the mood for sex. So that is why it does not tick women off when a Total Alpha male type (or even, in most cases, an Alpha male with a few Beta traits and tendencies who happens to married, engaged, or has a long-term girlfriend already) objectifies them and treats them as ‘just sex objects.’ With Alpha male types, the feeling is

usually mutual among women. Before the days of the MANosphere, and before the days of the Beta Male Revolution, many women felt like they could ‘sow their wild oats’ with Alpha male types between the ages of roughly 18 and 24 or between 18 and 29, and then find a nice, sweet, polite, financially self-sufficient, monogamy-oriented Beta male type once they turned 30. This is no longer the case. Another thing about the idea of a man ‘courting’ and ‘wooing’ a woman: men – neither Alpha male types or Beta male types – have never really been interested in ‘courting’ a woman when their objective was just sexual companionship, and sexual companionship only. Any woman who believes otherwise is very naïve and delusional. Men from my father’s generation and grandfather’s generation ‘wooed’ and ‘courted’ women because the position of ‘wife’ was similar to a company or corporation recruiting a college graduate to become a prized employee who they confidently assumed would make their company more productive and profitable. Before the 1960s, a wife was viewed as way more than simply a ‘female companion’ or an attractive ‘sex partner.’ Usually, a man’s wife was a combination of this for a man: · A virgin entering into the marriage · The biological mother to his children · The children’s nurturer, baby-sitter, and nanny · His personal chef and meal preparer · His household organizer and maid · His educational tutor for his children · His personal accountant for his household finances · His grocery shopper and clothing shopper · His errand runner · His overall personal assistant So, when a woman agreed to be a man’s wife, it was similar to a woman accepting a company’s offer of employment. A man’s wife was almost similar to her being his ‘employee’ (who he would frequently engage in sexual activities

with) and romantic companion rather than just his romantic companion alone. A man’s wife was expected to bring a lot to the table. In return, the man took care of all of the woman’s financial needs and obligations, and generally treated her like a ‘Queen’ of sorts in order to keep her motivated to continue performing those various duties listed above for him and his children. In today’s society, very few women are willing to be a ‘stay-at-home mother’ and ‘housewife’ for a man. Many women no longer cook for men, and most women have their own jobs and careers. Matter of fact, in today’s society, the roles of men and women have actually been ‘flipped’ in some households. Over the years, I have actually met men who were ‘stay-at-home fathers' and 'house husbands.’ If that situation works out for the men and women involved, more power to them. The dictionary definition of ‘woo’ is “to seek the affection or love of someone … especially when the objective is marriage.” The definition of ‘court’ is essentially the same. What many women need to understand is that marriage is an honor and a privilege. It is not a legally mandated ‘right.’ A woman has to prove herself as exceptionally worthy of being called a man’s ‘wife.’ Some women foolishly believe that as long as they are physically attractive and possess a high degree of sex appeal, that this means that they should automatically have a number of men beating down their door begging to marry them. Well, if you are a woman reading this … and you’re honest enough to admit that you fall into that category … this eBook is your wake-up call. So, bottom line, if you are a woman reading this, you need to stop thinking about what men should have to offer you … and instead ask yourself, what do you have to offer men? Forget about your looks. Forget about your ability to please and satisfy a man sexually. What do you have to offer him beyond those two factors? Think long and hard on that question. Your answers to this question will help you understand why you have never received a marriage proposal from a man in your adult life. One principle I usually share with my male clients is this:

When it comes to short-term and/or non-monogamous sexual relationships between men and women, men are usually the ‘sellers,’ and women are usually the ‘buyers.’ A man becomes a prolific womanizer not because he CHOSE TO BE … but more so, because he was CHOSEN TO BE by a number of different women who were interested in his sexual prowess. In contrast, when it comes to long-term strictly monogamous sexual relationships, women then become the ‘sellers’ and men are the very selective ‘buyers.’ No woman can really ‘choose’ to become a man’s wife (unless she is dealing with a very wimpy type Beta male type, and she knows that she can simply ‘demand’ that this man propose marriage to her). Generally speaking, men select women to become their long-term girlfriend, their fiancée, or their wife. Men … always keep this in mind when you hear a woman ‘whining and complaining’ about the womanizing ways of an Alpha male: Have you ever ‘whined and complained’ on a day-to-day, week-to-week, month-to-month basis about a woman who you had absolutely, positively no interest in sharing her company in a romantic and sexual manner? Honestly? 99.999% chance, no you have not. As human beings, we rarely if ever whine and complain about the behavior of people who we want nothing to do with. Typically, if we have no interest in spending time with someone, and they have an irritating personality or exhibit behavior that we feel we cannot tolerate, we simply leave that person alone and never, ever speak to them again. End of story. Our natural tendency as men and women is to only whine and complain about undesirable behavior that is being exhibited by a man or woman who we are really interested in spending time with. Particularly, men or women who we want to spend time with in a romantic or sexual manner. Speaking of desirable vs. undesirable behavior, one scenario Beta males tend to experience quite often is one in which a woman exhibits pleasant behavior before she gets married, but then turns into the “bitch from Hell” after the marriage begins. This is called the ‘marital bait-and-switch.’ Continue reading my friend.

Chapter Thirteen

Reality #4 of Today’s Dating Scene: Many Beta Males are Dreadfully Afraid of What is Referred to as the ‘Marital Bait-and-Switch’ Routine I interviewed a guest on my talk radio show earlier this year, and one of the things he discussed was his ten-year marriage that ended in divorce. Most men in today’s society view divorce proceedings as something that benefits women far more than it benefits men, and this has left a lot of men in society frustrated. For some Beta male types who earn who earn a six figure or seven figure income, they are leaning toward having a prenuptial agreement in place prior to exchanging vows. For other men, they simply have very little desire to enter into marriage at all. This particular guest of mine described what he felt was what I refer to as a ‘marital bait-and-switch’ by his ex-wife. What exactly is a ‘marital bait-andswitch?’ First, I feel compelled to repeat an underrated fact I mentioned in an earlier chapter: women do not need to be married or involved in a long-term ‘boyfriend-girlfriend’ relationship in order to engage in sexual activities with a man on a regular or semi-regular basis. Keep this in mind. The only exception would be women whose parents forced them to remain a virgin until they were married (which happened quite often prior to the 1960s). Women in this situation were just as anxious to get married for sexual purposes as the men were. In today’s more open-minded, free-spirited, and erotically uninhibited society, women can engage in sexual activities with a man any time they desire. So if this is the case for most women, why would any woman still be motivated to get married? Just last fall, I had a woman as a guest on my show that expressed the

comment, “Alan, I can name at least ten reasons that women want to be in a relationship (with a man) that have nothing to do with sex.” The reason she expressed that comment was because I offered the strong opinion that a desire to have a regular, dependable female sex companion was included in most men’s Top 2, Top 3 reasons for wanting to be married or wanting to be in a long-term romantic relationship with a woman. There is a saying that is often repeated among women that goes along the lines of, “Why would a man be motivated to purchase the cow if he can have access to the milk for free?” There is actually a high degree of truth and validity to that adage. For most men, and particularly Alpha male types, they lose their motivation to become a woman’s husband, fiancé, or long-term boyfriend if they know they can have sex with that woman regularly in a non-monogamous context. Next to the desire to engage in regular sex with a woman, most men’s primary motivation for entering into marriage or a long-term monogamous relationship with a woman is to prevent other men from flirting with or making sexual advances toward a woman who they enjoy having sex with and really care about. Let me make this clear: There is nothing ‘wrong’ per se about sex being a low priority in a long-term relationship or marriage, as long as both the man and the woman involved in the relationship or marriage know that upfront. I always tell my male and female clients: I can tolerate just about any relationship as long as I know what the expectations are at the very beginning of the relationship. I do not like unpleasant ‘surprises,’ and I believe I speak for a good majority of the men in society. Most men I know have no interest in being a woman’s ‘platonic husband’ or ‘platonic boyfriend’ unless that is a role that they agreed to adhere to at the outset of the relationship or marriage. Let’s be real: if you take away a woman’s ability and willingness to please and satisfy a man sexually and help him experience pleasurable orgasms, many men would never speak to another woman for the remainder of their adult life. For some men, the desire for sex is as high as 95% of the reason why men even bother talking to women or socially interacting with them.

Thinking about the comment expressed by my female guest, I will offer my Top 10 reasons why many women maintain a strong desire to get married that have nothing to do with a desire to engage in sexual activities with a man on a regular basis: 1. So that they can feel better about giving birth to one or more children and avoid having multiple children out of wedlock; 2. To make their parents and relatives happy; 3. To prove to their girlfriends that there is at least one man on Earth that wants their companionship for more than just her ability to please him sexually; 4. To be in a position to have someone to take care of their financial obligations and expenses in the event that they do not have a job or are inbetween jobs; 5. To have a male companion to engage in entertaining conversation with on a daily or weekly basis; 6. To experience the excitement of participating in a wedding ceremony and wearing a bridal gown; 7. To have someone to regularly accompany them to various social events, travel destinations, movies, concerts, restaurant meals, etc.; 8. To have someone to assist them with the dayto-day responsibilities of raising one or more children; 9. To have a dependable ‘shoulder to cry on’ and an ‘empathetic listener ear’ when they are dejected, depressed, sad, frustrated, angry, etc.

10. To have someone in their life to make them feel beautiful and sexy when their looks begin to fade and their sex appeal begins to diminish as a result of getting older and adding on a significant amount of body weight (this is known as ‘hitting the wall’); There you have it. Matter of fact, I actually wrote a freelance article for my men’s dating advice column in December 2014 where I discussed an ‘informal survey’ I conducted on an online matchmaking service and do you know that 59 of the 147 women who I surveyed (roughly 40%) said that sex was the “least of their priorities” for wanting to find a long-term boyfriend or future husband. Many of those 59 women said that if they only engaged in sexual activities an average of 5-10 times per year, they would be content. I found those responses mind-blowing. Name one heterosexual man you know who wants to be married in order to engage in sexual activities an average of five-to-ten times per year? I have never met a man who was under the age of 60 who would be content with an almost non-existent sex life. Hell, with erectile dysfunction pills available, even men 60 years of age and older would not be content with such minimal sex with their spouse. The main problem I had with these 59 women on that dating site is that none of them made it specifically clear in their online profiles that sex was not really important to them. None of these women had a sentence in their profiles where they stated clearly, “I am not really looking for a male companion to engage in regular sex with. Sex is really not that important to me.” This goes back to the notion of the ‘marital bait-and-switch’ concept. The male guest I had on my show mentioned that he suffered through a ‘sexless marriage’ during the last five years of his ten-year marriage. Five years without any sex with his wife?!? Unbelievable. In the last couple of decades, the problem of ‘sexless marriages’ is becoming more and more prevalent (and in fairness to women, it is not just men; many women have been denied sex by their husbands too). What was interesting is that this particular male guest admitted that

throughout most of his marriage, he exhibited the behavior of a Beta male rather than an Alpha male (what was also interesting is that this guy is 6’4” … and some men foolishly believe that any man who is six feet tall or taller are all Alpha male types. Wrong!) He said that prior to getting married, his ex-wife was extremely affectionate and more-than-willing to engage in sexual activities with him whenever he wanted to. Then, once the two got married, he said her behavior toward him slowly but surely began to change (for the worst). This scenario is a major fear for men regarding the idea of getting married, and particularly among Beta male types. Next to the fear of having to give up half of their financial and material assets because of divorce, nothing scares men away from marriage more than the thought of their wife exhibiting behavior after their wedding day that is totally different than the behavior that their wife exhibited before their wedding day. This is one of the reasons why I always tell male clients that they should avoid going out of their way to present themselves to women as ‘easy to get along with’ in the early stages of dating. I feel like this is a huge mistake. On one end, I do not think that a man should be purposefully ‘antagonistic’ with his long-term girlfriend or fiancée, but at the same time, he should never ‘hold back’ his real feelings and strong opinions from his girlfriend or fiancée either for the specific purpose of preventing a heated disagreement. As a man, you want to always force a woman to reveal her ‘real side’ to you in the early stages of your relationship with a woman. You never want a woman to be able to maintain a disingenuous façade throughout the entire course of your premarital relationship with her, only for her to unleash a side of her personality and behavior during the marriage that you have never, ever witnessed before. There are a number of women I have met over the years who have openly admitted to me that they more or less ‘played a role’ prior to getting married because they did not want their ‘real behavior’ to scare their fiancé away. For example, many women confessed to me that they kept their ‘argumentative side’ or their penchant for behaving like a ‘spoiled princess’ in check prior to getting married.

I do not believe any man should propose marriage to a woman until he has been in a romantic relationship with that woman for a minimum of eighteen months, and preferably two or three years. Once you know you are entertaining the thought of proposing marriage to a woman, take time to really talk to that woman and find out who she really is (and not who she may be ‘pretending’ to be just to motivate you to marry her). An alternative title for ‘spouse’ among many men and women is ‘life partner.’ If you plan on sharing your place of residence with someone for the remainder of your adult life … always make sure that there will be no ‘unpleasant surprises’ at any point in your marriage. That is, assuming, you are bold enough to go ahead and decide to even propose marriage to this woman. In my next-to-last chapter, I am going to discuss how many men are very reluctant to marry a woman who is older, divorced, and/or has multiple children out of wedlock. This is a very controversial issue for many women, but it is an issue that is frequently discussed on many blog sites in the MANosphere. Continue reading my friend.



Chapter Fourteen

Reality #5 of Today’s Dating Scene: Many Men Who Have Never Been Married and Do Not Have Children Can Afford to be ‘Nitpicky’ When Choosing a Wife I remember when I was in my twenties, my mother and I were having a conversation about dating, relationships, and marriage. At the time, I had just broken up with my college sweetheart, and she was offering me some ‘motherly advice’ regarding how she felt I should proceed with dating women from that point forward. Later in the conversation, she offered the comment, “Men have it easy when it comes to dating as it relates to age. Women cannot wait too long to get married, because it lowers their stock value if their husband wants his wife to have multiple children. In my generation, once you reached the age of 30, your stock value would drop for each year you advanced past 30 as far as being a prime candidate to be a man’s wife.” She actually went on to say that once a woman reached the age of 40, her ‘stock value’ was really going to diminish unless the man she was dating was divorced or widowed, and already had children by another woman (or he was not interested in raising children). I remember I was exchanging messages with a fellow dating coach via the internet once, and he asked me, “Alan, who is your primary demographic?” I responded, “Single heterosexual men of all ages and backgrounds and to a lesser extent, women who are both single and in a relationship or married. Why do you ask?” He then asked, “If you don’t mind me asking … are you earning six figures or more as a professional dating coach?” I responded, “LOL. Not at this time. What made you ask me that?” Finally, he wrote, “Because you talk about a lot of controversial and raunchy stuff!! LOL. My primary demographic is women 30 years of age or older who are looking to find a husband and get married. Some of the stuff you discuss on your talk radio program would be perceived by them as being too centered on casual sex and one-night stands and stuff. The women in my demographic are not looking for anything short-term or casual.

They are looking to find a husband! They want men who are willing to commit!” This particular dating coach who wrote me was and still is earning a sixfigure salary from his many female clients. A lot of male dating coaches who cater to women are earning large salaries from their eBooks, paperbacks, hardcovers, audiobooks, consultation sessions, CDs, DVDs, and other products and services. Good for them. If you were to ask most men who are actively a part of the MANosphere why this is, they will very quickly offer an opinion along the lines of, “Because those guys are giving these naïve women ‘blue pill’ type advice. They are feeding these women’s heads with ‘romantic fairytales’ and unrealistic / idealistic type advice. Once a woman reaches a certain age, her SMV (‘sexual marketplace value’ or ‘social market value’) drops drastically. Women need to wake up and realize this.” One reason why a lot of women, particularly hardcore feminist types, pretty much despise and hate the MANosphere and all it stands for, is because of three primary reasons: 1. Most of the men who subscribe to the advice offered by the MANosphere seem to be ‘antimarriage’; 2. Most of the men who subscribe to the advice offered by the MANosphere view women as ‘sex objects,’ and seem to only be interested in shortterm and/or non-monogamous ‘casual’ sex relationships with women; 3. Many of the popular bloggers and dating advice gurus in the MANosphere have harsh criticisms toward the idea of dating women who are older, obese, divorced, and/or have given birth to two or more children outside the context of marriage Point #3 really gets women riled up. Many women who are 45 years of age still want to believe that they have the same appeal to men that they did

when they were 25 or 35, and the reality is, 99% of the time, that is simply not the case. Since I turned 40, I have dated one woman who was also past the age of 40 in a ‘serious’ manner. I was 46 and she was 43 at the time. She had one daughter from a previous marriage. There have been a number of other women who I have dated in a more ‘casual,’ non-monogamous manner who were between 40 and 50 since my 40th birthday. All that to say, I do not personally have any sort of major ‘aversion’ to dating older women, particularly casually and non-monogamously. I actually find many women who are 40+ to be mature and very sexy. I have also dated my fair share of younger women as well. When I was 42, I briefly dated a woman who was 23, and I have interacted with a good number of women over the last ten years or so romantically and sexually who were between 30 and 39. My own dating preferences and past experiences aside, I know many men who absolutely, positively will not consider dating a woman who is 40 years of age or older other than for some variation of short-term and/or non-monogamous ‘casual’ sex. When it comes to evaluating a woman’s potential to be their wife, many older women get immediately crossed off the list. The exception would be men who are older themselves, divorced or widowed, and either already have one or more children or have no interest in raising children. Many men in this category have no problem dating a middleaged or older woman in a serious, long-term, monogamous manner. But for men who have never been married, and currently do not have any children (but they very badly want to raise children), these types are harsh toward women who are older, fat obese, divorced, andor have given birth to multiple children out of wedlock. Sometimes, I read some of the comments and I’m like, “Ouch!! These guys are merciless!!” Yes ladies, it gets THAT bad on some message boards, discussion forums, and blog sites. In these men's partial defense, some women who are 36 years of age or older tend to express a lot of ‘highly selective’ and even unrealistic and delusional criteria for the type of man they want as their next boyfriend or future husband. Sometimes, I will listen to women and just shake my head. Like, “This

woman has got to be kidding me …” Men place as much emphasis on a woman’s age, weight, and fertility as many women place on a man’s earning potential and income, height, and sexual prowess. My feeling is this: if a man has never, ever been married, and he has never, ever fathered any children, then that man has a right to be ‘nitpicky’ regarding his selection of a wife or long-term romantic companion. I am going to discuss three types of women: Women who are older, women who divorced, and women who already have children (particularly out of wedlock as opposed to children they gave birth to while they were previously married).

WOMEN WHO ARE 36 YEARS OF AGE OR OLDER According to many studies and surveys, the women who are the most appealing to men for marriage age-wise are women who are between 18 and 29, and in a few cases, 18-35. To use my mother’s term of ‘stock value’ (or again, what many in the MANosphere refer to as a woman’s ‘sexual marketplace value’ or ‘social market value’), the first year I would arguably say that a woman’s stock value begins to drop significantly would be once she reaches her 36th birthday. These days, many women are choosing to focus on their college education and their careers in their twenties and most of their thirties, and waiting until later to open themselves up to the idea of getting married. For the sake of placing themselves in a position of becoming financially self-sufficient, I don’t blame most of these women. With the exception of professional athletes and Entertainment Industry celebrities, not too many men between the ages of 18 and 35 are in a position to take care of a woman financially and allow her to be a ‘stay-at-home mother' and 'housewife.’ For a man who wants to get married, and have his wife give birth to say, three or more children, a woman who is between 36 and 39 is ‘risky.’ A woman who is 40 years of age or older is almost out of the question.

I have had some women I know who are 36 years of age or older ‘brag’ to me that they could still grab the attention of a man who is between 18 and 29. I always chuckle. Sometimes, if I want to get them riled up, I will ask, “So … how many marriage proposals have you received from those ‘younger men’?” Then they will glare at me or frown, and shut up quickly. Have you noticed that when you examine many of the women's profiles on a number of these online matchmaking sites, many will feature a comment such as, "I've had my fun in my twenties and thirties, but I am now tired of games. I am looking for a man who has serious intentions" (or some similar comment). What that means is, "I gravitated toward nothing but Alpha male types between the age of 18 and 35, but now that I am 36 years of age or older, I now want a nice, polite Beta male type who I can train and easily have my way with without engaging in too much sex with." When it comes to engaging in short-term and/or non-monogamous ‘casual’ sex … no man (young or old) is really against the idea of having sex with women who are between 36 and 49. Some young men will even have sex with a ‘Sugar Mama’ type who is between the ages of 50 and 59. On the other hand, when it comes to proposing marriage, very few men who are between the ages of 18 and 29 or between the ages of 18 and 35 are going to propose marriage to a woman who is 40 years of age or older. I believe the latest age for women to get married by if they plan on raising a large family (a minimum of three children with their husband) is 29. Sometime between 30 and 35 at the absolute latest.

WOMEN WHO ARE DIVORCED I know many men who will not seriously date a woman who is divorced if they have never been married themselves. Even I had that attitude when I was in my twenties. I had no desire to be in a long-term romantic relationship with a woman who was divorced. Once I got into my thirties, my attitude softened up. When some men hear the term ‘divorced,’ they immediately think to themselves, ‘this is a woman who failed at being married.’ Many men perceive a woman who is divorced as being a woman who will bring a lot of ‘emotional baggage’ into a new relationship with a man, and for most men, ‘emotional

baggage’ is a huge turn-off. Interesting enough, there are some men who actually favor women who are divorced after a long marriage. In their minds, this means that the woman was not just out in society ‘sowing her wild oats’ with a high number of womanizing Alpha male types. So, they would actually prefer to get into a relationship with a woman who got married at say, the age of 23 and was divorced by the age of 32 or 33. Especially if that woman did not give birth to any children while she was married the first time. Many MANosphere advisors and gurus will often remark, “When you date a woman who is divorced, you are allowing her to bring all of her bad habits and preconceived notions of how marriage ‘should be’ into a new relationship with you.” That attitude is not 100% valid, but it is also not totally invalid either. It just really depends on how mature the woman is, and if she is the type that is able to learn from her past mistakes. I say, if a man who has never been married decides that being in a longterm relationship with a divorced woman is not for him, that is totally his choice. He has the right to be ‘selective’ if he so chooses. No woman can validly criticize him for being a bit too ‘nitpicky’ in his selection of a potential wife.

WOMEN WITH MULTIPLE CHILDREN OUT OF WEDLOCK I would say that next to women who men consider to be ‘morbidly obese’ (women who are approximately 50-75 pounds or more above her ‘ideal weight’), there is no bigger turn-off to men in the MANosphere than women who have given birth to two or more children outside the context of marriage. Why? Because most men (and especially Beta male types) view this as a clear-cut sign that a woman has been ‘sowing her wild oats’ with Total Alpha male types and Alpha males with a few Beta traits and tendencies when she was younger. Actually, this was included in many early definitions of a ‘Beta male’ in the

early years of the MANosphere. Most men would describe a Beta male as a “man who is willing to help a woman raise children that are the offspring of one or more Alpha males” (That is also the formal definition of a ‘Cuckold’; A true Cuckold is a man who is married, but after his wife commits adultery and gets pregnant by an Alpha male, that man is willing to remain with his wife and raise that Alpha male’s son or daughter as if it were his own son or daughter). This perception of how Beta males are, or at least used to be, leaves many Beta male types angry and bitter in today’s society. Consequently, many Beta male types today will avoid dating women with children out of wedlock as if those women have a contagious disease. As mentioned in Part One of this paperback, prior to 1960, it was considered extremely ‘shameful’ for a woman to give birth to a child out of wedlock. Some parents would literally disown their daughter if she got pregnant without being married. Even in today’s society, in some upper middle class families, many mothers and fathers will strictly forbid their daughters from getting pregnant outside the context of marriage. They feel it would bring some degree of embarrassment to their family. I say this: if you feel like you thoroughly enjoy a woman’s company, and you get along very well with a woman’s son(s) and/or daughter(s) … then don’t worry about what ‘other people’ will think of you dating this woman. If it makes you happy, go for it. If a woman having children out of wedlock is not causing any problems for you, that is all that matters. In regard to the women reading this, just be conscious of the fact that if you have already given birth to two or more children out of wedlock, a lot of men who have never been married and do not have any children of their own are going to be unenthusiastic about entering into any type of long-term, emotionally profound, monogamous relationship with you. In fairness to women, I also know a lot of single women who have never been married and do not have any children who have no desire to marry a man who has two or more children by women who he was not married to at the time those women gave birth to his children. The reality is, all of us … young men, older men, young women, older

women … have our own unique list of ‘selective criteria’ that will cause us to cross someone off our list of potential marriage partners. If I had to publicly name two of my ‘deal-breakers’ it would be cigarette smoking and habitual drug use (not including marijuana). I cannot stand the smell of cigarette smoke, and I have no desire to date a woman who has some sort of cocaine habit or heroin addiction. I always let women know this in my first or second conversation with them. In my very next chapter – my last – I am going to discuss how Beta male types have grown to become so distrustful and wary of women’s duplicitous and fickle ways, that they just don’t view many women as ‘marriage material’ any longer. Many men who used to be the biggest defenders of women’s character and integrity are now some of the harshest critics of women and some of the nation’s most bitter misogynists. I will touch on this and a few other things in my very last chapter. Continue reading my friend.

Chapter Fifteen

Reality #6 of Today’s Dating Scene: Many Beta Male Types Who Previously Adored, Defended, and Worshipped Women Now HATE Them Which men have seen their behavior change the most since 1960? Which men’s attitudes toward women have changed the least since 1960? Well, let me offer my strong opinions.

TOTAL ALPHA MALES Before the eras of modern agriculture and modern technology came into play in society, men who were Total Alpha male types were the men who were the bravest and most highly masculine. These were the men that women gravitated toward to prevent themselves from being harmed or raped (you have to remember … rape was not always illegal). Men in this category were always promiscuous and/or polyamorous to some degree, and even if they were married, their wives usually permitted them to take on an additional lover or two as long as the husbands promised not to get those women pregnant or replace their wives with one of their mistresses. Women rarely have attempted to disrespect these type of men, or exhibit spoiled or argumentative behavior with these men. They knew these men were the most confident, the most fearless, the most masculine, and the most likely to erotically dominate them and leave them totally satisfied sexually. Now that rape is illegal, and women do not necessarily need a man to physically protect them, the men in this category are not as highly sought after to be women’s husbands, but they are still highly sought after to be a woman’s casual lover or ‘lover-on-the-side’ in the event that the woman is married or otherwise romantically involved. The attitude toward women among men in this category is generally the

same as it was in 1960, 1970, or 1980 and beyond. These men know they are in demand sexually (particularly when they are between 15 and roughly 49), and they will always be in demand by a large number of women. Therefore, men in this category do not really have any ‘negative’ feelings toward women. Why would they? Most men in this category pretty much have their way with women sexually, and never really seek to enter into strictly monogamous marriages or strictly monogamous long-term romantic relationships with women. Total Alpha male types in today’s society are usually only interested in promiscuous and/or polyamorous sex with women. I would argue that men in this category have changed the least in terms of their general attitudes toward women. Most women will never admit this publicly, but women want men in this category to remain promiscuous and polyamorous. Women would be heartbroken if Total Alpha male types ever developed a 'strictly monogamous' mindset.

ALPHA MALES with a few BETA traits and tendencies I would make the argument that it was the men in this category that most fueled a lot of the anger and frustration experienced by women between 1900 and 1959. It was the men in this category that were guiltiest of committing adultery behind their wife’s back and/or divorcing their older wives and replacing them with much younger wives. Generally speaking, men in this category have always been the most deceitful and duplicitous (meaning, they were privately womanizers, but publicly they sought to give their wives the misleading impression that they were dedicated to being a ‘one-woman man’), and duplicity always leaves men and women feeling frustrated and bitter in the long run. Once the Second Wave of Feminism in the 1960s and 1970s helped a lot of ‘frustrated wives’ and ‘frustrated mistresses’ accomplish a lot of their goals and objectives in society, these men were forced to become a bit savvier if they still wanted to ‘have their cake and eat it too.’ Many married men in this category still have mistresses, but they are much more private and discreet about it. The

internet and social media makes it a lot more challenging for men to remain so duplicitous. When it comes to indulging in non-monogamous ‘casual’ sex with women, men in this category do not really have any harsh criticisms of women today. When it comes to marriage, men in this category realize that women usually have the ‘edge’ when it comes to divorce and child custody, but because these men want to have a family and raise children, they just grin and bear it. Sometimes, men in this category are married to women who earn more money than them, so they are not really afraid of being ‘taken to the cleaners’ if they get divorced. Bottom line, the behavior of the men in this category has not changed TOO much, but their attitude toward women could be categorized as a wee bit more ‘critical’ of women who are known to be hardcore feminist types. Men in this category feel like feminist types and blatant misandrists are basically attempting to ‘force’ them to become more ‘Beta’ like than ‘Alpha’ when it comes to marriage, and they do not like it one bit.

BETA MALES with a few ALPHA traits and tendencies Men in this category really did not stand out too much prior to the agricultural era and the modern technology era. Now, because of Wall Street on the East Coast and the Silicon Valley on the West Coast, there are a lot of 'shy, introverted’ types as well as ‘mama’s boy’ types who are now earning six and seven figure incomes and living in huge houses. The ‘good news’ is, because of their wealth, men in this category have become much more appealing to women and sought after by women. The ‘bad news’ is, in most cases, it is ONLY their wealth that many of these women want. Sexually, a lot of women who date and marry men in this category are cheating on them with a Total Alpha male type or an Alpha male with a few Beta traits and tendencies type behind their back unbeknownst to them. Before the days of the MANosphere, most of the men in this category had no clue about the manipulative ways of women and the sexually duplicitous ways of women. They believed that the women who dated them and married them were genuinely attracted to them because of their charm, their personality,

and their monogamy-oriented and family-oriented intentions. Think about ‘Kevin’ from the Preface chapter. Now, because of the MANosphere, men in this category have become very distrustful of women. Many men in this category now view women as ‘closet gold diggers’ and ‘calculating and discreet adulterers.’ Many men in this category are now choosing to ‘fight fire with fire.’ They will get married to a woman just for the sake of having children, but they will cheat on their wife with one or two mistresses behind their back. The problem is, whenever they get caught cheating, women are taking them to the cleaners during divorce court proceedings and child custody proceedings. Some of the men in this category are avoiding marriage altogether, and opting for one of the ‘alternative relationships’ I mentioned in Chapter Ten. Most notably, the ‘Sugar Daddy-Sugar Baby’ type arrangement. Prior to 1960, men in this category were considered the “good men.” The men who women could depend on to be financially responsible, remain faithfully monogamous, and do everything possible to please a woman, accommodate a woman, and generally treat her like a ‘Queen.’ In today’s society, if a man in this category cannot find him a virgin or some religious woman who is between the ages of 18 and 24 who would never give in to her promiscuous and/or polyamorous temptations, the men in this category have pretty much have given up on the idea of marriage. Prenuptial agreements are their best friend.

TOTAL BETA MALES Hands down, there is no group of men who have angrier, bitter, and more blatantly misogynistic feelings toward women in today’s society than the men in this category. The ironic thing is, men in this group usually start out as women’s greatest defenders and allies. Men in this category, when they are in high school or college, usually worship the ground women walk on. These men would be willing to do ANYTHING to please a woman and gain the opportunity to share a woman's company. Even in a purely platonic manner (initially).

If there are at least two romantic dramas you have to view if you want to understand the plight of the Total Beta male type, it would have to be The Last American Virgin (1982) and Two Lovers (2008). Actors Lawrence Monoson (“Gary” in The Last American Virgin) and Joaquin Phoenix (“Leonard” in Two Lovers) both portray two ‘White Knight’ / ‘Captain Save-a-Ho’ types in those two films. Sure enough, both films end with those two characters having their heart broken by two women who they have fallen in love with. Phoenix is also good in a similar role in the film Her (2013) . This is what happens with Total Beta male types. It usually starts when they develop a ‘crush’ on a girl who doesn’t know they exist. Then, if they are lucky, the girl who they have a crush on warms up to them in a purely platonic manner and begins treating them like a ‘play brother’ or ‘male girlfriend.’ The girl / woman will begin complaining about how much she ‘hates’ Alpha male types (or what she will usually refer to as ‘jerks,’ ‘bad boys,’ or ‘no good men’), and that she is really looking for a ‘nice, sweet guy’ who will treat her with ‘respect’ and ‘kindness.’ She will say, “Why can’t I find a good man?!?” So, this naive Total Beta male type will fall for this manipulative routine hook, line, and sinker. Men in this category truly believe that these girls / women are truly looking for the ‘nice guy’ to rescue them from those disrespectful ‘bad boys.’ Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Poor guys. Bless their hearts. It is usually not until these men have had their heart broken by at least two or three women, or until they became a subscriber to the MANosphere, that they are forced to wake the f**k up. The reality is, women never want the ‘nice guy’ for sexual enjoyment and satisfaction purposes. Never. To flatter them? Sure. To entertain them? Sure. To spend money on them? Sure. To help them fix their car or vacuum cleaner? Sure. To listen to them ‘whine and complain’ about how an Alpha male type ejaculated semen into their mouth during oral sex without asking their permission first? Sure. Get the picture? The problem with some of the men in this category is that not only have

many men in this category changed their attitude toward women, but it has changed very much for the worst. Many men in this category literally and passionately hate women now. Some of the men in this category who are mentally and emotionally unstable want to see women harmed, tortured, raped, and even murdered. Yes, these men hate women that much. These men are thinking, “You are NOTHING like my sweet, loving mother or grandmother!! She would never, ever treat a man like this!!” Well, of course your mother or grandmother is not going to share the story of the time the Alpha male ejaculated semen in her mouth and then said, “What is your name again?” In their minds, Total Beta male types cannot process or comprehend how a woman could be attracted to an Alpha male type (that dastardly “wolf in sheep’s clothing”) who treats women ‘badly’ and cheats on women regularly. They simply do not understand this way of thinking on behalf of women. For these men, it would be like observing a child who is being mentally, emotionally, and physically abused by his or her biological parents being offered to move in with a new set of foster parents or step-parents who are committed to treating the child with the utmost of care, love, and respect … and that child declines the offer and elects to remain with the biological parents that are hell bent on continuing to abuse and mistreat them. Are you familiar with what is known as ‘Stockholm Syndrome?’ If not, this is when a person is kidnapped and held hostage … and after a period of weeks, months, or years, the man or woman who is being held captive begins to develop an emotional connection with their kidnappers to the extent that they no longer want to be released. This is how many Total Beta male types view women who gravitate toward Alpha male types. They perceive Alpha male types as the ‘abusers’ of a woman’s emotions, which in their mind, makes Alpha male types the ‘worst of the worst.’ The reality is, Alpha male types are not usually ‘bad’ or mean-spirited toward women at all. An Alpha male’s main ‘weakness,’ if you want to even call it that, is simply that his sexual companionship is desired by more than his fair share of women. I mean, he can’t help it if he always has 5-10 women who want

to offer him their sexual companionship without requiring that he spend any significant amount of money on these women or without requiring that he promise them any type of long-term monogamy. A Total Alpha male type and the Alpha males with a few Beta traits and tendencies type are just taking advantage of what is being offered to them. Now between the two, the Alpha males with a few Beta traits and tendencies are the more deceitful and duplicitous of the two Alpha male types, but even when they cheat or commit adultery, their female companions rarely divorce them or break up with them (because, among other things, the sex is usually too good to give up). Some of my male clients are currently in the Total Beta male category, and I am doing everything possible to help them upgrade to the status of a Total Alpha male, an Alpha male with a few Beta traits and tendencies, or at bare minimum, a Beta male with a few Alpha traits and tendencies . It is a challenge, but one I am up for. Trust me … no (heterosexual) man wants to indefinitely remain in the category of a Total Beta male.

What women will be most negatively affected by this ‘Beta Male Revolution’ that is currently going on? Some women will not be affected by The BETA MALE REVOLUTION at all, just like not too many Total Alpha male types were negatively affected by the Second Wave of Feminism and the Sexual Revolution in the 1960s and 1970s. Surely though, a certain percentage of women will be negatively affected by men’s growing change in attitude and behavior. Among those . . . · Women who are 36 years of age or older, who have never been married and have no children, who are very much looking to get married and have children with a man earning a six or seven figure salary; · Women who are 36 years of age or older, who

already have children, who very much want to get married to a man earning a six or seven figure salary; · Women who are not virgins, but are expecting men to wait weeks, months, or years before engaging in sexual activities for the first time … and even worse, women who are not virgins who expect men to wait until marriage to engage in sex for the first time; · Women who are divorced and have children, and have their sights set on marrying a man who has never been married and has no children … and especially if the man is younger than the woman; · Women who have gotten away with cheating on their boyfriend or husband behind their back regularly · Last, but not least, women who have a history of accumulating a high number of ‘purely platonic male friends’ who were more than willing to function as these women’s ‘play brother’ or ‘male girlfriend’ for an indefinite period of time without complaint. If 1960-1979 was the defining decades for Feminism and the Sexual Revolution, then I would argue that 2005-2024 (and maybe beyond) will be the defining period for The Beta Male Revolution. First, it was women who angrily reacted to men’s chauvinistic, sexist, disloyal, and sexually duplicitous ways … and now it is men angrily reacting to women’s female chauvinism, feminist-oriented sexism, their blatant materialism in marriage, and their highly manipulative and sexually duplicitous ways. Now, men feel like it is their turn. Men want more rights as it relates to abortion, alimony, divorce, child custody, child support, and generally reclaiming their sense of manhood and masculinity. And secondly, men are making every effort to call out and expose women who they view as ‘closet gold

digger’ types and lying, cheating girlfriend and adulterous wife types. For many reasons already mentioned earlier in this chapter, the reason I did not title this paperback simply, “The Male Revolution” is because the vast majority of Alpha male types could care less about the rantings of feminists and other romantically and sexually frustrated women in society. If a woman is bisexual or heterosexual, constantly horny for sex, and loves to indulge in many episodes of hot, kinky, non-monogamous sex while being erotically dominated by a male sex partner, then Alpha male types will always be in demand. And these men know it. They are content with their status in today's dating scene. The only way an Alpha male type would ever become frustrated is if you placed him in a social environment where it was absolutely mandatory that all of the men and women in that particular social environment had to remain indefinitely monogamous to their spouses or romantic companions. Otherwise, Alpha males will always receive more than their fair share of sexual attention from women. Alpha male types always knew the ‘games’ women play with men. Most Alpha male types, such as street pimps, always knew that women were never as ‘innocent,’ ‘prudish,’ loyal, or ‘monogamy-oriented’ as they pretended to be. Beta male types on the other hand did not begin becoming enlightened about the true nature of most women until somewhere between roughly 2001 and 2010. Some, even later than that. I would venture to say for a very small percentage of men, this very eBook will be their first real “wake up call.” Finally, here is how I choose to sum up all of my thoughts in this paperback: Summary Point #1: Contrary to what many factions of organized religion will attempt to brainwash you into believing, marriage is a man-made social construct. There is nothing in our biological DNA that creates a natural inclination toward marriage or monogamy. The idea of monogamy began to be emphasized because of men’s insecurity over paternity issues. Many in society felt that monogamous marriages were the closest thing to a DNA paternity test before a DNA paternity

test ever existed. If you religious types want to bring God into the discussion, why would God create marriage, knowing that roughly 50% of the marriages would end in divorce?? That is a blatant insult to the intelligence and wisdom of a Divine Power such as God. Think about it. If there were 100,000,000 dating singles in the United States, and 55,000,000 of those were single heterosexual women and 45,000,000 of those were single heterosexual men, how could everyone be monogamous? That does not even make logical sense. If every single man and single woman aspired to enter into a strictly monogamous marriage, that would mean that 10,000,000 single women would never, ever find a husband. Is that even fair? You tell me. Summary Point #2: Any type of relationship can work for a man and a woman involved if they know what the expectations are at the beginning of the relationship. You have to be a bit 'selfish' when deciding what type of relationship works best for you. Long-term? Short-term? Strictly Monogamous? Polyamorous? Wide open and promiscuous? Full of emotional involvement? No emotions involved whatsoever? Only YOU know what type of relationship will work best for you and your particular needs. Summary Point #3: Before 1960, strictly monogamous marriages worked for many men and women because for all practical purposes, that was the only relationship men and women were able to own up to publicly and socially. That is not the case any longer. Men and women today are much more open-minded, free-spirited, and erotically uninhibited. All men and women need to own their sexuality and not concern themselves with who is going to criticize them and pass judgment on them and their behavior behind-their-back. Summary Point #4: The Beta Male Revolution has shifted into high gear. What does this mean for women? You can no longer execute the routine of sexually interacting with Alpha males, and then later transitioning over to the Beta male types and attempting to convince them that all Alpha male types are the ‘mean, abusive, bad guys.’ Beta male types know now that this is complete B.S. If you are a woman who assumes that you can 'sow your wild oats' with a

wide assortment of womanizing Alpha males between the ages of 15 and 29, and then think you're simply going to easily end up connecting with a naive, polite, accommodating, and financially generous Beta male 'nice guy' type once you turn 30, you are going to be in for a rude awakening. Beta male types are no longer as naive as they may look thanks to the knowledge, wisdom, and advice offered by the MANosphere. Beta male types now fully realize just how dishonest and disingenuous many women can be, how misleading and manipulative they can be, and how materialistic and sexually duplicitous they can be. In other words, if you are a woman who loves to engage in manipulative 'head games' with men, most Beta males in today's society ARE ON TO YOUR GAMES. They have the 'Beta male manipulation playbook' now. They know what's up. Beta males are gaining more and more knowledge and wisdom about women’s true nature each and every week. Summary Point #5: Similar to Point #4, women who have had a history of accumulating dozens and dozens of flattering and entertaining 'play brothers' and emotionally empathetic and supportive 'male girlfriends' are also going to find themselves becoming very egotistically frustrated in the years to come. Beta male types are no longer willing to 'settle' for being a woman's purely platonic male companion. Not at all. All men want to experience pleasurable orgasms with a woman. Believe that. Men have no desire to FunClub with women any longer. Summary Point #6: Love is not directly synonymous with the idea of monogamy, and similarly, monogamy is not directly synonymous with the idea of getting married. There are men and women involved in openly polyamorous relationships who are very much 'in love.' There are many men and women who are married, but it is more so representative of a purely platonic 'co-parenting arrangement' rather than a marriage that is romantic and sexual in nature. Just like a mother or father is capable of showing love to more than one child, many men and women are also capable of developing a long-lasting emotional connection with more than just one romantic companion or sex partner at a time. You have to do what works best for you. Summary Point #7: Last but not least, many men and women do not want to be forced to choose one type of companion over another type of companion. Remain realistic about this. Most men want a prudish and monogamy-oriented

'good girl' in their life ... but they also want a couple of kinky and promiscuous and/or polyamorous type women involved in their life too. Either these men are going to be open about this, or they are going to be deceitful about it. Be prepared for the latter. Similarly, many women want a highly self-assured, very masculine, extremely kinky and erotically dominant lover in their life ... but they are also interested in having another totally different type of man who will be willing to spend time with them for the purpose of flattering them and entertaining them, as well as even a third man who is going to offer them financial assistance and support. Either these women are going to be open and honest about their desire for different types of companions who will serve different purposes for them, or they are going to be deceitful and secretive about it. Realistically, be prepared for the latter. I hope all of this helps you find the type of meaningful relationship with a member of the opposite sex that you are truly looking for. I will offer my closing remarks in the next section, which I refer to as my “Author’s Wrap Up & Final Thoughts.”

WRAP UP & FINAL THOUGHTS Promiscuity is not for everyone, Polyamory is not for everyone, and Strict Monogamy is not for everyone. Period. There is a belief I used to frequently express when I used to post on a website entitled AskMen.com years ago. The comment was, “One man’s wife, fiancée, or long-term girlfriend is often times another man’s mistress or casual sex lover.” Most of the men on the AskMen.com discussion forum took heed to the wisdom in that comment, and began quoting that comment of mine repeatedly to their friends and acquaintances. Many women would criticize me for expressing such a comment. They would argue that “Good girls are good girls … and sluts are sluts. There is no mixing of the two.” Yeah, right. That falsehood is what all sexually duplicitous women want men (and particularly Beta males) to believe. One of the reasons why I wrote and self-published my very first book, Mode One: Let the Women Know What You’re REALLY Thinking was because I realized when I was in my early twenties that most of the women who I found myself socially interacting tended to be Wholesome Pretender & Erotic Hypocrite types who were very sexually duplicitous. They would play the role of the ‘prudish, monogamy-oriented good girl’ when they were in the company of men who they wanted to date long-term and marry, but they would reveal their kinkier, promiscuous and/or polyamorous side when they were interacting with kinky, erotically dominant men who they just wanted to exchange pleasurable orgasms with casually. Consider this eBook as a ‘prequel’ to either Mode One and The Possibility of Sex. If there has been one minor ‘blessing in disguise’ throughout this developing animosity between men and women in society is that it has in many instances created more unity among men of different ethnicities and cultures. Because many men now view manipulative, materialistic, and sexually duplicitous women as the ‘common enemy,’ many men have put their petty racial differences aside in order to share knowledge, wisdom, and dating advice with each other. You will always have some degree of blatant racism in many

countries and cultures, but at least things are improving. I believe this eBook is going to be most helpful to many of the ‘naïve’ Beta male types. Using the Monogamy Island scenario from the Preface, I wrote this book for the clueless 'Kevin' types of the world. For most of the Alpha male types (the 'Tyrone' types of the world), I am preaching to the choir. It has always been my mission to help all single heterosexual men improve their love lives, sex lives, and overall social lives. Here is what every man and every woman who has taken the time to read this book needs to understand: For women ... just because a man thoroughly enjoys your sexual attention and companionship does not necessarily mean that this same man has any genuine desire whatsoever for your non-sexual attention and companionship. Keep this in mind. All men who engage in manipulative 'head games' with women do one thing: These men give women the very disingenuous and misleading impression that they have an 'equal interest' in both a woman's sexual and non-sexual companionship, when they really just want to spend time with that woman sexually. For men ... just because a woman thoroughly enjoys your non-sexual attention and companionship and your financial generosity does not necessarily mean that this same woman has any genuine desire whatsoever to engage in sexual activities with you. Keep this in mind. All women who engage in manipulative 'head games' with men are good at doing this: These women love to give men the misleading impression that they have an 'equal interest' in both a man's sexual and non-sexual companionship, when they really just want to be flattered and entertained, and take advantage of whatever financial resources and material possessions that man has to offer them. As I mentioned in the book, this is related to my personal definition of ‘true love.’ True love is when you have found someone who satisfies you 100% both sexually and non-sexually. There is no other person you would rather spend time with sexually more than your spouse or romantic companion, and there is no other person in the world that you would rather spend time with non-sexually than your spouse or romantic companion. In regard to my female readers, I am always attempting to help them stay

away from men who are dangerous and misogynistic, and more specifically men who may be looking to harm them, abuse them, kidnap them, rape them, or daterape them. I think sexual violence of any kind by a member of any gender is despicable, and I have never been one to condone men behaving in an extremely aggressive manner with women when attempting to have sex with them without those women’s expressed consent. I also do not like to see men blatantly leading women on and toying with their emotions unnecessarily. Plain and simple, I believe ‘honesty is the best policy’ when it comes to dating and relationships. Men need to quit being deceitful, duplicitous, misleading and manipulative with women, and women need to stop being deceitful, duplicitous, misleading and manipulative with men. The reality of today's society is, discouraging such behavior among dating singles is always easier said than done. I am not at all naïve to this fact. There was a time when people in society treated a man like he was ‘weird’ or a homosexual if he was not married and raising a family by the time he was 35. Not in today’s society. Again, I am 53 years old, and I do not see myself getting married anytime in the very near future. Long-term monogamy is just not my thing. I am not even sure if an openly polyamorous marriage would be my cup of tea either, but we’ll see. Right now, being an ‘eternal bachelor’ suits me just fine. For men and women interested in receiving coaching and advice from me, I offer Email consultations, Skype and/or telephone consultations, and one-on-one / face-to-face coaching sessions with men, women, and married & unmarried couples. If you have any questions, contact me at ‘[email protected]’ Thank you for reading this paperback in its entirety. I really appreciate it, and I sincerely hope it helps you thoroughly understand the motivations and general psychology of various members of the opposite sex. Good luck with your love life, sex life, and social life. Moooooooooode Ooooooooooone. Go out and boldly create life-changing opportunities for yourself.



Other Books & Resources I Recommend

http://www.askmen.com http://www.avoiceformen.com http://www.returnofkings.com http://www.TakeBackTheNight.org http://www.wikipedia.org http://www.XOXY.com Black Players: The Secret World of Black Pimps – Dr. Richard Milner & Christina Milner How to Start a Kinky Relationship: The definitive guide to starting and sustaining a healthy, loving, satisfying alternative relationship – James Amoureux Men On Strike: Why Men are Boycotting Marriage, Fatherhood, and the American Dream … and WHY IT MATTERS – Dr. Helen Smith Marriage, a History: How Love Conquers Marriage – Stephanie Coontz PIMP: The Story of My Life – Robert Beck a.k.a. ‘Iceberg Slim’ Radical Honesty: How to Transform Your Life by Telling the Truth – Dr. Brad Blanton Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships – Dr. Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures – Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy The Manipulated Man – Esther Vilar The Myth of Male Power – Dr. Warren Farrell The Rational Male – Rollo Tomassi (pseudonym) The Sugar Daddy Formula: A Sugar Baby’s Ultimate Guide to Finding a Wealthy Sugar Daddy – Taylor B. Jones

What Do Women Want? – Daniel Bergner

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Alan Roger Currie was born and raised in Gary, Indiana and graduated from Indiana University in Bloomington, IN. Currie is the Host of two talk radio podcast programs, Upfront & Straightforward with Alan Roger Currie and The Erotic Conversationalist. Currie has been interviewed a number of times on local, regional, and national talk radio programs as well as local, regional and national television talk shows.

Currie, who is known by his female fans, clients, and supporters as “The King of Verbal Seduction” and by his male fans, clients, and supporters as "The Godfather of Verbally Direct Game" has been a featured speaker for various dating & relationships conferences and seduction workshops in various cities in the USA and also in Berlin (Germany) and London (England). Currie works as a professional dating coach for men, and he advises women and married & unmarried couples who are interested in experimenting with the BDSM and/or Polyamory lifestyle.

Currie’s main website is http://www.directapproachdating.com (for men) http://www.modeone.net/training/ (for women and couples) More biographical information about Alan Roger Currie can be found on Wikipedia.org

and

Table of Contents Copyright Acknowledgments TABLE OF CONTENTS INTRODUCTION PREFACE PART ONE Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three PART TWO Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven PART THREE Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen WRAP UP & FINAL THOUGHTS RECOMMENDED BOOKS & OTHER RESOURCES ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Table of Contents Copyright Acknowledgments TABLE OF CONTENTS INTRODUCTION PREFACE PART ONE Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three PART TWO Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven PART THREE Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Chapter Eleven Chapter Twelve Chapter Thirteen Chapter Fourteen Chapter Fifteen WRAP UP & FINAL THOUGHTS RECOMMENDED BOOKS & OTHER RESOURCES ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Copyright © 2017 Alan Roger Currie 10-Digit ISBN 0-9850314-5-X 13-Digit ISBN 978-0-9850314-5-9

Published in the United States of America. Mode One Multimedia, Inc. and Mode One Publishing 2017

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the author.

Dating advice for men: http://www.directapproachdating.com BDSM & Polyamory lifestyle advice for women & couples: http://www.modeone.net/training/

Other Books by Author Alan Roger Currie :

Mode One: Let the Women Know What You’re REALLY Thinking (2006)

Mode One – HARDCORE: The Definitive Guide to Having Casual Sex with Women Who Don’t Normally Engage in Casual Sex (2007)

Upfront and Straightforward: Let the Manipulative Game Players Know What You’re REALLY Thinking (2009)

Mode One - Semantics & Scenarios: Inside the Mind of the Manipulative Game Player (2010)

Oooooh … Say It Again: Mastering the Fine Art of Verbal Seduction and Aural Sex (2011)

The Possibility of Sex: How Naive and Lustful Men are Manipulated by Women Regularly (2012)

The Beta Male Revolution: Why Many Men Have Totally Lost Interest in Marriage in Today’s Society (2016)

Alan Roger Currie Mode One Multimedia, Inc. Hollywood, CA 90046 [email protected]

MODE ONE

Whisper Into a Woman’s Ear What Is REALLY On Your Mind

ALAN ROGER CURRIE TABLE OF CONTENTS

Copyright Acknowledgements Introduction Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Wrap Up & Final Thoughts Other Books I Recommend About the Author

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS I have had so many men and women support my Mode One philosophies and principles since October 1990 and beyond, that I could not begin to list each person who has offered me encouragement and support. My biggest supporter has always been my brother, Stephen C. Currie. He was the first person to suggest I put my Mode One principles on paper as some sort of ‘self-help’ manual for single heterosexual men all the way back in June 1986. It was not until 1995 that I listened to my brother’s advice and documented my philosophies and principles as a 30-page

pamphlet titled, The Mode One Principles . Years later, in 1999, I converted the pamphlet into an eBook, and then finally I converted the eBook into a paperback in late February 2006. Other major supporters of my efforts have been my close friends Jeff Kenton, Cory Pulliman, Ervin V. Pulliam III, Blake F. Scott, Marlon Scott, and Maurice L. Taylor. Much love also to Atty. Kimberly Jean Brown. Some authors who have influenced me and/or inspired me to one degree or another are: Dr. Brad Blanton, Dr. Susan Campbell, Dr. Stephen R. Covey, Susan Jeffers, and Rom Wills. Arguably, my most prominent influence and inspiration for ‘The Mode One Approach’ was the late legendary adult film actor John Leslie . If I had never viewed his performance as the unapologetic womanizer ‘Jack” in Anthony Spinelli’s 1980 porn classic, Talk Dirty to Me , there is a good chance my Mode One philosophies and principles would have never been created and documented. I offer a ‘salute’ of respect to all the men and women worldwide who encourage bold truth-telling and highly effective verbal communication skills and interpersonal communication skills with others. Thank you all for your continued support.

INTRODUCTION First, a word about ‘self-improvement’ and personal development books: Most contain more hype and unsubstantiated ‘theories’ than they do useful information. At least half of the self-help and personal development books I

have read left me more confused about what I needed help with, than before I read the book. Realistically, no one selfhelp book can help you more than you allow it to help you . Ideally, what a good personal development book seeks to do is provoke you to reexamine those thoughts, attitudes, and beliefs that you currently hold on to, that are either directly or indirectly preventing you from achieving your ultimate objectives in life. The first event in my life that influenced me to eventually write this book happened in summer of 1981. I watched a pornographic film titled Talk Dirty to Me , which was about this man who was a prolific womanizer who had a bold and unique way of seducing beautiful and sexy women. The fictional character’s name was ‘Jack’, and he was played by this legendary adult film actor by the name of John Leslie (Leslie passed away in December 2010 at the age of 65; God Bless his soul) . In the film, Jack would seduce women by 1) approaching them, 2) initiating a conversation with them in a very confident, highly self-assured manner, and 3) expressing his sexual desires, interests, and intentions to the women using very provocative, sexually explicit (i.e., XXX-rated) language. Most of the women in the film would initially have a negative reaction, and they would proceed to harshly criticize Jack’s erotically explicit manner of verbal expression. Many of the women would insult him, and a number of the women would behave as if they were ‘offended’ and ‘insulted’ by his socially inappropriate behavior and seemingly crass, crude language. What first caught my eye while watching the film was the fact that Jack would always remain very cool, calm, collected, and confident in the face of these seemingly negative reactions by the women. Jack would never become apologetic, argumentative, defensive, emotionally sensitive, or antagonistic with the women. He would just take all their criticisms and insults in stride, and continue to let the women

know that he wanted to engage in kinky sex with them in the very near future. My brother and another friend of ours named Marlon were watching the film with me at the time, and both warned me not to take what was happening in the film too seriously. My brother, Stephen, said at the time, “This is a movie. It is in the script for those women to respond to Jack in a favorable manner in the long-run. In real life, a man would get slapped on the face or have a drink thrown in his face for talking to women using all that very explicit, XXX-rated language with them.” Fast forward to approximately three years later. Fortunately for me, I was a bit stubborn in terms of adhering to my older brother’s advice. After having a few conversations with some female friends on my college campus (I attended and graduated from Indiana University in Bloomington, IN), my thinking about women began to change. These women whom I was friends with informed me that they were very frustrated by many of the men on campus for being guilty constantly lying to them and misleading them into believing that they were interested in maintaining a long-term monogamous sexual relationship with them, when in reality, these men were really only interested in engaging in a few episodes of short-term and/or non-monogamous ‘casual’ sex with those same women. One woman I knew at the time said, “Alan … why are men so dishonest with women about their desire for casual (nonrelationship) sex? Men should just be straightforward with women when they are not interested in a serious (long-term) romantic relationship. I hate men who are liars and I hate men who play head games with women.” This is when I began to reflect on that adult film I had watched, Talk Dirty to Me . I thought about the fictional

character in the movie named Jack. In the movie, Jack never felt the need to lie to women or mislead women about his true sexual desires, interests, and intentions. Jack would verbally communicate his sexual desires and interests to women in a smooth, seductive, highly self-assured, upfront, specific and straightforwardly honest manner each time without hesitation. I respected this type of approach. Did Jack receive harsh criticisms from the female characters in the film in response to his bold and explicit conversation style? Yes. Did Jack find himself on the receiving end of many personal insults from the female characters in the film, including being referred to as a ‘jerk’ or ‘asshole’? Yes. But probably four out of every five times, Jack would end up with a woman performing oral sex on him, or even more so, Jack would end up engaging in sexual intercourse with these women minutes, hours, or days after these same women had harshly criticized him and frowned on his audacious verbal communication style. Long story short, beginning with the start of my fourth year (1984-85) as a college student on the campus of Indiana University in Bloomington, Indiana, I began to emulate the behavior I observed the fictional character of Jack exhibit with female characters in the film, Talk Dirty to Me . At first, I was somewhat afraid of receiving a high number of potentially negative reactions from women, but after I experienced my first few rejections, I noticed that I did not feel dejected or agitated at all by them . That amazed me. In the past, if a woman rejected my romantic or strictly sexual desires and interests too quickly or too straightforwardly, I would find myself feeling agitated, bitter, frustrated, or dejected. Similar to Jack’s experiences with women in the movie, Talk Dirty to Me , some of the women would INITIALLY give me a very harsh and negative reaction. Then minutes later or hours later, these same women would confess to me that my

bold, upfront, straightforward approach and explicit sex talk with them left them feeling incredibly aroused. This is when I knew I was on to something . Soon, I started having a lot of women on my college campus agree to engage in casual sex with me within days after meeting them. Sometimes, I ended up engaging in sexual activities with women within hours or even within minutes after first making their acquaintance. I even indulged in my first ménage à trois with two women at the same time while I was in college. That was mind blowing for me at the age of 22. Even many of my younger fraternity brothers began seeking out advice from me when they heard about how quickly that I was seducing women into having (casual) sex with me. The night that convinced my brother Stephen that I had stumbled on to something unique and special with my new bold style of verbally communicating with women happened in June of 1986. My brother and I had just left a late-night party, and we decided to stop by this grocery store in Bloomington that happened to remain open for business 24 hours per day, 7 days per week. Right when my brother pulled his car into the parking space, he and I both noticed this very beautiful woman wearing this short, tight black mini-skirt. She was gorgeous and had a very sexy strut to her walk. Later, I found out she was not even a student at Indiana University. She was a registered nurse at the local hospital. A few minutes later, I entered the store and Stephen remained in his automobile. I selected a few food items and beverages, and then I saw this same woman in one of the aisles of the

store. She was holding two containers of women’s hair shampoo. She was looking at each container as if she was attempting to decide as to which container to purchase. I approached her, and stood directly in front of her approximately two or three feet away from her. Initially, I did not say anything to her. I just looked directly into her eyes with a very seductive expression and cocky smirk on my face. She looked back into my eyes, and we just stood there looking at each other for a few seconds without saying anything to each other. Then, finally, she said, “Didn’t your mother teach you that it is rude to stare at a stranger?” I shrugged my shoulders and said, “Maybe. So.” She then responded, “Well aren’t you a piece of work.” I said, “I guess.” Then she said to me, “Well, I am glad you approached me!! Can you help me choose a shampoo for my hair? I am so undecided!” I looked directly into her eyes and responded, “Look at me.” She obeyed. Then I said, “Do I look as if I really give a damn about women’s hair shampoo?” She giggled, and then said, “You REALLY are a piece of work!!” Then she paused for a few seconds, and asked me, “So … if you do not give a damn about helping me choose a good shampoo for my hair … what do you give a damn about? For example, what is on your mind RIGHT NOW?!?” I was so glad she asked me that question. I said, “The number one thing that is on my mind right now is having sex with you. I want to fuck you . And I want to fuck you so hard that I make you moan real loudly while you are sliding your tight wet pussy up and down on my rock hard dick as you are about to cum …”

She was SHOCKED. She could not believe what I had just verbally communicated to her. She just stood there for a few moments before responding. Then she finally said, “Oh my GOD!! I cannot believe you just said that!! I cannot believe you had the nerve to say such a thing to me!! You are BOLD!! You might even be CRAZY!!” I remained cool, calm, and collected – just like the fictional character of Jack in the movie, Talk Dirty to Me – and then I just moved closer to her to and attempted to tongue-kiss her. To my pleasant surprise, she did not really resist me at all. After we kissed for a while, I let her know that I had a strong, rock-hard erection in my pants. I joked with her that I was ready to pull it out of my pants. She laughed, and said, “You are bold … I’ll give you that. But you are NOT THAT BOLD. I dare you to pull your hard dick from out of your pants in this public grocery store. I dare you. I double-dare you.” Say no more. I boldly pulled my hard dick out of my pants right there in the grocery store. It was approximately 1:30 AM in the morning, so there were not too many customers in the store at the time (I would estimate that there were maybe 8 10 customers in the entire store). I suggested that she kiss my dick and suck on it. After a few moments of reluctance, she agreed to do so. She dropped to her knees and began performing oral sex on me right there in the grocery store aisle . The entire experience was totally mind-blowing for me. Before this instance, I had never experienced such a spontaneous episode of sex in less than roughly fifteen minutes after first making a woman’s acquaintance. A few minutes later, a staff member from the store caught us, and stared at us with a facial expression of total shock and amazement. This caused me to become a bit paranoid, so a few seconds later, I made her stop. Seconds later, she gave me

the keys to her automobile, and said to me, “Wait for me outside. I will be out of the store in a few minutes.” I purchased the food items and beverages that I had, and exited the store. I walked over to my brother’s car, and placed the bag of groceries into his car. Then, I started walking toward the woman’s automobile. Stephen yelled out, “Where are you going?!?” I pointed at the woman’s automobile and said, “I talked to the woman driving this automobile. The one in the sexy mini-skirt. She was suckin’ my dick in the store, and in a few minutes, she is going to exit the store and continue suckin’ my dick again.” Stephen was literally in SHOCK. He had an expression on his face that represented, “No way! No way did my brother just meet a woman and persuade her to suck his dick in a public grocery store!! NO WAY!!” Sure enough, the woman exited the store and she made her way to her automobile, where I was seated in the passenger side seat of the car. We engaged in conversation for approximately 30 seconds, then she dropped her head into my lap and began enthusiastically performing oral sex on me once again. She was very skilled with her lips, mouth, and tongue. She had excellent oral sex skills. I eventually climaxed, and she swallowed all my ‘man milk.’ We exchanged phone numbers, and then she took off. Once I returned to my brother’s automobile, he was still in a state of shock. He could not believe what he had just witnessed from a few parking spaces away. Stephen said, “I had heard from a couple of your fraternity brothers that you had this new, super straightforward way of talking to women … but are you telling me that you get THIS type of response from women every time?” I said, “Of course

not. I have had my fair share of women reject me. For sure. But the thing is, rejection does not really bother me any longer . When I am bold, upfront, specific, and straightforwardly honest with women regarding my sexual desires and interests, it seems to diminish the negative effects of rejection on my ego. Rejection simply does not really faze me any longer .” My brother was both amazed and dumbfounded. He sat in the driver’s seat just pondering to himself. Then, after a few minutes, he said, “Bro … you have to put this new ultrastraightforward way of talking to women down on paper.” I was like, “No way. For what?” Stephen said, “Because you could help other men experience the same type of success attracting and seducing women that you are experiencing! For starters, I want you to teach ME how to be this ultrastraightforward with women!” I did not put my thoughts about my bold new style of verbal communication with women down on paper at that time, but just over four years later – in October of 1990 – I did just that. Then, in 1995, I created a 30-page pamphlet titled, The Mode One Principles for Effective Verbal Seduction of Women . Later, in 1998, I copyrighted my pamphlet with the United States Library of Congress and changed the title to, Mode One: Let Them Know What You’re REALLY Thinking . One year later, in 1999, I changed the title to Mode One: Let the Women Know What You’re REALLY Thinking . Then, in December 2001, I expanded the 30-page pamphlet into a 150+ page eBook of the same title, and I began selling it via the internet. Single heterosexual men began purchasing my eBook off the internet like crazy. Finally, I published the first paperback version in late February of 2006. Now I have male and female fans, supporters, and followers all over the world. I am now one of the most widely

recognized dating advice book authors as well as one of the most highly respected of all the men’s dating coaches in the entire world. In Dr. Brad Blanton’s book, Radical Honesty , he makes the assertion that we have become a society of liars. I cannot say that I disagree with this statement. I have met many men who believe that the primary key to having success with women is to LIE to them or MISLEAD them and MANIPULATE them emotionally. The advice seems to be, ‘tell the women what you know they want to hear,’ even if what you are saying to them is blatantly dishonest or highly disingenuous and misleading. Many men who refer to themselves as ‘pickup artists’ (PUAs) label this method as “getting over” on women or “running game” on women. What a damn shame. Of all the various aspects of men’s and women’s behavior that contribute to poor, short-lived relationships, I would have to say that persistent dishonesty must be at the top of the list. I think what led me to document my Four Modes Of Verbal Communication™ is that I noticed whenever I went out of my way to be ‘liked’ by women, and told women only what I felt ‘they wanted to hear,’ I never really experienced any romantic or sexual success with them. The only thing I experienced was accumulating a high number of strictly platonic female friends. On the other hand, whenever I have been bold and unconventionally straightforward with women about the fact that I wanted to engage in sex with them (and particularly, casual sex), I have usually received the responses and reactions from women that I desired. To eliminate any potential for unsubstantiated ‘hype,’ I am going to tell you right now what many books that emphasize improving your success in attracting and seducing women won’t tell you: You cannot motivate a woman who is totally not attracted to you to all the sudden become interested in

sharing your company in a sexual manner . The vast majority of these ‘how to pick up women’ type books, and ‘how to get any beautiful woman you want in your bed’ type books tend to mislead men into believing that they will soon have some sort of “magic power” to virtually attract and seduce any woman they meet if they follow the advice of these so-called Pickup Artists or Seduction Gurus. THIS IS SIMPLY NOT TRUE . Take me for example. If I am just flat out, 100% not physically attracted to a woman, there is very little, if anything that this woman will be able to do to motivate me to share her company in a romantic or strictly sexual manner. Realistically, I am never going to change my mind. So, that is the ‘bad’ news. The good news is that there are many women in society who will initially hide and/or deny the fact that they are just as interested in engaging in a few episodes of casual sex as you are. Or, these women might even want you to become their next long-term boyfriend or future husband, but they might be a bit reluctant to straightforwardly admit it. Mode One Behavior primarily targets women who I refer to as Wholesome Pretenders , Erotic Hypocrites , and Manipulative Timewasters . I will discuss these types of women in more detail in Chapter Six and Chapter Eight. In my opinion, dating in society would be less challenging, less confusing, and less frustrating if everyone was just REAL and HONEST with one another about why they are really interested in sharing that person’s company in both the shortrun and the long-run. The number one problem with today’s dating climate is that there are too many men and women who are phony, manipulative, and/or very sexually duplicitous in their behavior. Men and women are so obsessed with attempting to please everyone, and attempting to leave new acquaintances with a

“favorable impression” of them, that we have become a society full of “pleasantly phony” people-pleasers. And in the long-run, this creates a high degree of passive-aggressive behavior in people, and in particular, men. Don’t read the whole book in one sitting. Read one chapter at a time, and then stop and reflect on your past conversations and social interactions with women. Jot down some notes on a scrap piece of paper. Then continue. After reading this book, your attitude and demeanor will become a lot more cool, calm, and collected when women choose to criticize your bold candor with them or when they choose to insult you for being so upfront and straightforwardly honest with them regarding your real sexual desires, interests, and intentions. Your manner of verbal communication with women is going to begin to become a lot more honest, self-assured, and straightforward. Over a period of weeks, months, or years … you will begin to feel like a totally different man . And many women who choose to interact with you socially will notice how self-assured and seductive you are. If you choose to verbally communicate your romantic and/or sexual desires, interests, and intentions to women in a Mode One manner, be warned: You are going to receive more criticisms and insults from women than you ever have before, and when women choose to reject you, their rejections will seem more abrupt and straightforward than ever before. Is your fragile ego prepared to handle that time after time after time? We shall see . If you are prepared to weed out your invalid fears and egotistical insecurities, and improve your verbal communication skills with women so that you express yourself to women in a manner that is more direct, smooth and seductive, then go ahead and continue reading my friend.

Welcome to the wonderful world of MODE ONE Behavior. Continue reading my friend.

CHAPTER ONE Why Heterosexual Men Engage in Dishonest and Disingenuous Conversations with Women “Men today are a mere shadow of what they could be. Many men are putting on a façade to get along in life. Many are wearing masks to conform to the social and political climate. This is especially the case when men deal with women.” Rom Wills , author of Nice Guys And Players: Becoming The Man Women Want Beginning with the very moment that any single heterosexual man approaches a woman who he finds to be physically attractive and sexually appealing, he is either going to do one of two things: He is going to initiate a conversation with her that is honest and genuine, and let that woman know his true motivations for approaching her and conversing with her, and ultimately let that woman know why he really wants to share her company in the near or distant future; Or … He is going to initiate a conversation with her that is (to one degree or another) dishonest, insincere and ‘pleasantly phony,’ misleading and manipulative, or at bare minimum, trivial and inconsequential yet very flattering and entertaining. If you read the Introduction section of this book that preceded this chapter, you already know that I once approached a woman in a grocery store (at approximately 2:00 AM), and initiated a conversation with her because I found her to be very attractive and very sexually appealing. I did not waste time with disingenuous “small talk,” “chitchat,” or “fluff talk.”

I approached this woman, and within the first five minutes of the conversation, I verbally communicated to her why I approached her (which was to ultimately engage in sexual activity with her). She was initially taken aback my bold and extremely forthright approach, but eventually, she calmed down and even minutes later, proceeded to perform oral sex on my penis right there in the aisle of the grocery store. Being honest, from the time I was probably eighteen years old, I have always hated engaging in ‘pleasantly phony’ conversations with people, and particularly with women. I simply do not like engaging in conversations that make me feel that I am being dishonest or disingenuous with people, or leave me feeling that I am attempting to mislead them or manipulate people in some sort of way. That feeling makes me cringe inside. Since I was a child, I was conditioned by my elders, and particularly my female elders, to always be ‘well-mannered’ and tactful while in the company of women. To behave like the “little perfect gentleman.” I was groomed to always exhibit behavior that was pleasing and flattering to whomever I was speaking with. Most men I am acquainted with who grew up in a middle-class or upper-middle-class family background generally received the same ‘home training’ and advice from their (female) elders as well. I was socially brainwashed by my mother, my aunts, and various other women in my life to avoid saying anything to a woman that might provoke a negative reaction or that might lead to some sort of verbal confrontation. On the positive end, I typically received a lot of compliments from women who I socially interacted with along the lines of, “Alan, you are such a gentleman!” “Alan, you are such a great guy!” “Alan, you are so nice and sweet!” Those compliments left me feeling flattered, but the problem was, those types of compliments from women only lead to me being able to engage in purely platonic social interactions with these women. I rarely got invited to share the company of these women in some sort of romantic or sexual manner, which is what I strongly desired.

Reality check : No single heterosexual man in the world wants to be relegated to only being some woman’s “male girlfriend” or “play brother” (i.e., a purely platonic ‘friend’). If a man is very attracted to a woman physically and sexually, then his strong desire is to ultimately engage in a series of conversations and social interactions with that woman that are more romantic and/or sexual in nature. This begs the question, why do men bother with “small talk,” “chitchat,” and “fluff talk” with women of interest when they first make their acquaintance? Why do men postpone letting women know their true romantic and/or sexual desires, interests, and intentions? Why do some men go even a step further and virtually avoid revealing their true romantic and/or sexual desires, interests, and intentions to women at all? I truly believe that deep down, all men want to consistently exhibit what I would categorize as “Mode One Behavior.” The one factor that usually prevents men from doing so is also the one factor that probably has the most detrimental effect on our day-to-day, week-to-week behavior while interacting with others: THE FEAR OF WHAT OTHER PEOPLE ARE GOING TO THINK AND SAY ABOUT OUR BEHAVIOR (either to our faces or behind our back). Think about it. How many times have you been around friends, family, or social acquaintances, and have felt the desire to exhibit free-spirited, uninhibited behavior, only to be held back by the paralyzing fear that you might be criticized, be insulted, be admonished or reprimanded, be disliked, or cause others to feel uncomfortable in your presence? I have been in this position far too many times to mention. I have definitely been guilty of this while in the company of new female acquaintances more so than in the company of new male acquaintances. I generally always ‘speak my mind’ around other men, regardless of whether I have known them for two years, two months, two weeks, two days, or two hours. Expressing myself in a candid and extremely forthright manner in the company of desirable women has always been more of a challenge for me, and based on the many

conversations I have engaged in with other men, I found out that I was definitely not alone in my thinking.

THE PRIMARY BASIS BEHIND THE FOUR MODES OF VERBAL COMMUNICATION™ Here is the fundamental truth regarding most male-female interactions: WE ALL WANT SOMETHING . As a man, the biggest lie you can tell yourself when you approach a woman who you are interested in spending time with in a romantic or strictly sexual manner is that you “do not really want anything from this woman.” Quit lying to yourself. YES, YOU DO . For each and every person who we interact with on a regular or semi-regular basis, we have a need and/or desire that we would like to see fulfilled and satisfied. What we desire can be something intangible such as flattering attention, enjoyable and entertaining conversation, or respect. What we desire can also be something tangible such as a monetary favor, an offer of employment, or sex. Bottom line … very rarely, if ever, does a single heterosexual man approach a woman and initiate a conversation with her for no other reason than just to offer her a quick, flattering compliment or to engage her in a brief, but highly entertaining conversation. No. There were three major turning points that happened in my life that caused me to totally re-think the manner in which I had grown accustomed to verbally communicating my romantic and sexual desires and interests to women. I already mentioned the very first turning point in the Introduction section. The first turning point was when I watched the pornographic adult film Talk Dirty to Me . Watching that movie made me realize at least two things that I was not fully aware of before this point: 1. That it is possible for a man to provoke a woman to become sexually aroused just by talking to her . Before watching that movie in summer 1981, I always believed that a man had to kiss a woman, kiss a woman’s body, and caress a woman’s vagina and clitoris in order to cause

her to become sexually aroused. 2. That many women are sexually duplicitous . For those of you reading this who may not be familiar with this term, when a woman is sexually duplicitous it simply means is that she will behave in a very prudish and strictly monogamy-oriented manner when in the company of one type of man (usually a man who she only wants to maintain a platonic friendship with or a man who she wants to be involved in a long-term romantic relationship with), but then that same woman will reveal a side of themselves that is kinkier, more sexually open-minded and free-spirited, and more promiscuous (i.e., desires short-term non-monogamous sex) or polyamorous (i.e., desires long-term non-monogamous sex) when she is in the company of another type of man (usually a man who she is only interested in engaging in one or more episodes of short-term and/or non-monogamous ‘casual sex’ with). I will expand on the concept of sexual duplicity in more detail in Chapter Two and Chapter Six. The second turning point happened sometime around the beginning of my fourth year as a college student at Indiana University in Bloomington, Indiana. One night, I was part of a ‘triple date’ (i.e., an evening social gathering that included three men and three women), and the woman who I was supposed to be coupled up with was exhibiting behavior that was very cantankerous, contentious, and highly resistant and defiant in response to my sexual advances. Finally, about an hour after my interaction with this woman began, I left the apartment and went outside to take a walk to calm myself down. This woman decided to follow me outside. She then began verbally antagonizing me in a lighthearted manner, and she began accusing me of pouting. This angered me, so I responded in anger with, “Bitch … I am going to give you two options. Either you are going to suck my dick … or you are going to avoid talking to me for the rest of the evening. Either, or.” She was shocked by my response. She

just stood there on the sidewalk looking at me for a few seconds. Sure enough, she and I ended up engaging in sexual activity that night. The most interesting part was that her demeanor became much more erotic, much more feminine, and much more submissive after I snapped at her outside with my angry response. I could sense that she viewed me as much more masculine and erotically dominant than she did before she and I both went outside. (Note: I go into more detail about this particular story in my other book entitled, Oooooh … Say it Again: Mastering the Fine Art of Verbal Seduction and Aural Sex ) The third and final major turning point that led to me analyzing the difference between effective verbal communication with women versus ineffective verbal communication with women happened the evening of Thursday, October 18, 1990. I was now 27 years old. I was driving my automobile and headed to my parents’ home in Gary, Indiana, and I saw this woman whose face looked very familiar to me standing at a bus stop waiting for the bus to arrive. It was raining that evening, and I felt bad that she was standing in the rain with just an umbrella. She was wearing a black t-shirt, a black jacket, and black leggings (‘leggings’ are similar to the women’s yoga pants that are very popular among many women these days). I stopped my automobile near where she was standing, and then I rolled down my passenger side window and asked her if she needed a ride. She was reluctant at first, but then when I mentioned my mother’s name, she warmed up to me. Turns out, this young lady was a former student of my mother, who used to work as an art teacher before she retired. While I was driving, this young lady began discussing a lot of gossip and general ‘small talk’ and ‘chitchat’ that I just did not care about. Soon, she could sense that I was disinterested in her conversation. At one point, she said, “I bet you do not even care about anything that I was talking about. I can tell that you mentally distracted, and probably ignoring everything I am sharing with you.”

Remember when I began this chapter by highlighting the fact that most men who come from a middle-class or uppermiddle-class home have been ‘socially brainwashed’ and trained to always be ‘polite’ with women? I refer to this as social programming or cultural conditioning . Usually, it is a young man’s mother or step-mother who strongly encourages him to exhibit behavior toward women that will prevent any sort of criticism from the woman, any insults or negative reactions from the woman, or any sort of verbal confrontations or arguments with the woman. The other factor that guides our behavior is our raw, natural desires and hormonal instincts . At any given point in time, as a human being, your behavior is either being influenced by your social programming & cultural conditioning … or it is being influenced by your raw, natural desires & hormonal instincts . Your desire for food and water, your desire to sleep, your desire for sex, and your desire to protect yourself from harm and physical danger are motivated by the latter. Your desire to find employment and earn a living, your desire to be ‘liked’ by others and get along with others socially, and your desire to protect your public image and reputation is motivated by the former. Think about what influences the behavior of an animal that is out in the wild versus what influences an animal that has been trained and ‘domesticated’ by human beings. The key point of the conversation with this young lady in my automobile came when she directly asked me, “So … if you do not really care about what I discussing with you … what do you care to talk about with me? What is really on your mind? ” That was the million-dollar question. Half of me wanted to listen to and adhere to my social programming & cultural conditioning … and the other half of me wanted to listen to and adhere to my raw, natural desires & hormonal instincts. After a few seconds of debating between the two inside my mind, I chose to go with the latter. I said to her very boldly and candidly, “I was not really listening to anything you were talking about. The only thing on my mind is sliding down those sexy leggings of yours,

getting your vagina wet, and then fucking you like there is no tomorrow.” Immediately, her first response was an angry, “Excuse me?!?!?” to which I replied, “You’re excused.” Next, she expressed an equally angry, “I beg your pardon?!?” to which I replied, “I am not asking you to beg just yet.” Finally, she said (shaking her head), “I cannot believe you just said what you said to me. Wow.” I simply responded, “Believe it.” After my last response to her, this young lady just stared at me from the passenger seat of my automobile with an almost blank expression on her face. I could not really sense if she was genuinely offended by what I said to her, or if she was simply experiencing a moment of surprise or shock over how straightforwardly I expressed my desire to have sex with her. A couple of minutes later, in a slightly calmer tone of voice, she asked me, “Do you talk like this to ALL WOMEN in your very FIRST CONVERSATION with them?” I paused for a few seconds, and then responded with, “What difference does it make to you how I talk to other women. The only thing that is important right now is that I said what I said to you in the manner that I did because I am very interested in getting together with you and having sex with you. ” For at least the next three or four minutes, she and I did not say a word to each other. We just remained silent. Finally, after a few minutes of us both remaining silent, she decided to speak up. She said, “See that large parking lot near that motel? Can you please drive into that parking lot so that we can talk?” I obliged her request. I headed toward the parking lot near the motel. Once I parked the automobile, she just stared at me for a few minutes. Then, she finally smiled a bit. She stared directly into my eyes, and I did the same thing in return. There was probably a good three minutes’ worth of complete silence, with she and I just staring into each other’s eyes. When we did begin conversing, this is how our conversation unfolded from this point forward: Her: “I am going to share something with you that might surprise you.”

Me: “Okay. Go right ahead. Please share.” Her: “The fact that you were so straightforward with me about your desire to fuck me now has my pussy wet.” Me: “Actually, I am not surprised.” Her: “Oh really? Well, most men would assume that many women would find your straightforward way of expressing your desire to fuck me to be very insulting and disrespectful toward women.” Me: “I am not most men.” Her: “Very interesting. Well, I am going to let you in on a little secret about women Mr. Currie. A secret that may surprise you.” Me: “I am listening.” Her: “Most women know from the moment men approach us, initiate a conversation with us, and flirt with us in a social setting that they ultimately want to get in our pants. We know this. Or, at least, we confidently assume this.” Me: “I figured as much.” Her: “What we also assume is that probably 98% or 99% of the guys who approach us and flirt with us are not going to let us know in a straightforward manner – like you did – that they want to fuck us. We tend to assume that most of the men are going to talk about general stuff at first, then attempt to flatter us and warm us up, and then later even attempt to impress us with what type of automobile they drive or what type of house they own or how much money they earn from their job, and then … slowly but surely in a very ‘beat-around-the-bush’ manner … they will eventually muster up enough courage to finally let us know that the reason they are talking to use is because they eventually want to have sex with us.” Me: “Yes, that is a pretty accurate assessment of most men.” Her: “But Mr. Currie … you did not do that. You ended up in that 1% - 2% of men who are bold enough and straightforward enough to let women know what is REALLY on your mind. You skipped through the fluff talk and got straight to the point with

me. It was alarming at first, but damn! (she giggles) It was actually a huge turn-on.” Me (smiling): “Good to hear.” Her: “What you did was … you said what most women WANT TO HEAR out of man’s mouth, but rarely EXPECT TO HEAR. You said the truth of what you were really thinking and what you really wanted to do with me, which was to fuck me. Again, most men simply do not have the confidence or courage to talk that way to women.” Once this young lady expressed that last comment, my mind became totally distracted . It was unbelievable. I went from thinking about having sex with this woman to thinking about that comment of hers, “What women WANT TO HEAR, but usually DO NOT EXPECT TO HEAR.”

LIGHT BULB ON TOP OF THE HEAD TIME That comment she made about me telling her “what she wanted to hear , but would not normally expect to hear ” intrigued me. After about 20 minutes of kissing and making out in the car, my mind once again became totally distracted. Much to her disappointment, I told her that my mind was too consumed with distracted thoughts and that I did not want to continue making out with her. She was agitated by my decision. She said, “You did all of that straightforward talking to me … and now, you don’t want to fuck me?!?” I replied, “Maybe tomorrow or the next day, but not right now. I need to get home and put some stuff down on paper.” She was responded, “Yeah … whatever.” She then wrote down her phone number and told me to feel free to come by her place the next day (Friday) or Saturday. When I arrived at my parents’ home that evening, I was like a man on a mission. I was so excited that I had once again overcame my temptation to give in to my social programming & cultural conditioning, and that I had also conquered my fear of risking and possibly losing my “Mr. Perfect Well-Mannered Gentleman” image and reputation, that I did not know how to contain my excitement.

Beginning with that night, and on through the weekend, I began reading magazine articles on male-female relationships, books on what men and women found appealing and arousing in each other, and listening to men and women on television talk shows talk about good and bad first date experiences. I began to think about all of my own experiences with women, as well as some of the experiences of most of the males who I was close friends with. After days of thought, I finally concluded that all of men’s verbal communication with women (at least, with the women who they want to be involved in a long-term romantic relationship with or a short-term ‘casual sex’ relationship with) generally falls into one of four categories: Verbally communicating to women what women generally WANT TO HEAR , but for the most part, DO NOT EXPECT TO HEAR (primarily, because women assume that most men do not have the courage to express themselves in a bold, upfront, specific, and straightforwardly honest manner); I categorized this behavior as “Mode One Behavior .” Verbally communicating to women what women generally WANT TO HEAR , and what they generally EXPECT TO HEAR (primarily, because men to give in to their desire to be cautious about what they say to women, and generally want to be perceived as ‘polite’ and ‘well-mannered’); I categorized this behavior as “Mode Two Behavior .” Verbally communicating to women what women generally DO NOT WANT TO HEAR , but what they typically EXPECT TO HEAR (primarily, because everything a man is discussing with a woman in this instance is very dishonest, disingenuous, misleading and manipulative, or timid and cliché); I categorized this behavior as “Mode Three Behavior .” Verbally communicating what women generally DO NOT WANT TO HEAR , and also what they DO NOT

EXPECT TO HEAR (primarily, because the man that they are listening to is being blatantly insulting, crass and crude, antagonistic and misogynistic, and blatantly ignoring the fact that this woman has already expressed to the man that she has absolutely no interest in sharing his company in any sort of romantic and/or sexual manner); I categorized this behavior as “Mode Four Behavior .” And thus, THE FOUR MODES OF VERBAL COMMUNICATION™ were born . In the upcoming chapters, I will go into more detail about the differences between Mode One Behavior, Mode Two Behavior, Mode Three Behavior, and Mode Four Behavior. First, in the very next chapter, I am going to briefly discuss the manipulative and sexually duplicitous nature of women. Continue reading my friend.

CHAPTER TWO Manipulative “Game Playing”: Examining Why Men and Women tend to Mislead and Manipulate Each Other “I will always try to manipulate men and dominate men … always. Why? Because it’s fun, and because I can. If I am successful, I will exploit them for everything they have to offer until I get bored. If I cannot manipulate a man, and I am very attracted to him, then I will pursue him relentlessly until he agrees to become my next lover.” A woman offering a confession of her highly manipulative tendencies with men in the popular magazine for African-American women, ESSENCE Generally speaking, there are only three types of relationships that men and women will ever engage in with other over the course of their lives. Those relationships are: 1. A series of strictly non-sexual interactions

2. A series of strictly sexual interactions 3. A series of interactions that involve spending time with a member of the opposite sex in both a sexual and non-sexual manner We generally refer to the relationships that fall under category #1 as a “purely platonic friendship” or “platonic business relationship.” We generally refer to the relationships that fall under category #2 as a “casual sex relationship” or a “fuck buddy relationship.” A man or woman who is married and cheating on their spouse would also fall into category #2. We generally refer to the relationships that fall under category #3 as “marriage,” “a long-term romantic relationship,” or a “friends-with-benefits relationship.” If every man and woman on Planet Earth were to express their desire to engage in one of those three types of relationships with a member of the opposite sex in an upfront, specific, and straightforwardly honest manner, there would be very few relationship and communication problems between men and women. For the most part, there would be no such thing as ‘manipulative head games .’ The reality is, most men and women are NOT honest with each other regarding all of their true romantic and/or sexual desires, interests, and intentions. For example, there are many men who really want a relationship that falls under category #2 (a strictly sexual relationship) , but they will temporarily or indefinitely pretend as though they are interested in a relationship that falls under category #1 (a strictly non-sexual relationship) or a relationship that falls under category #3 (a long-term romantic relationship) . This would be an example of a man exhibiting behavior that is dishonest, disingenuous, and misleading & manipulative.

Similarly, there are many women who really want a relationship that falls under category #1, but they will give a man the misleading impression that they are interested in a relationship that falls under category #2 or category #3. This would be an example of a woman exhibiting behavior that is dishonest, disingenuous, and misleading & manipulative. WHY DO MEN AND WOMEN MISLEAD and MANIPULATE EACH OTHER? Anytime a person wants or needs something from someone else, but they are too afraid to request whatever it is that they want in an upfront, specific, and straightforwardly honest manner, their next option is going to be to attempt to get whatever it is that they want or need from the person in a sneaky, indirect, deceitful manner. For example, if you had a friend who was earning a lot of money, and you were confident that if you asked that friend of yours for a short-term monetary loan that they would grant you that loan without hesitation or problem, then there would be no need for you to be deceitful, misleading or manipulative with this friend. On the other hand, if you needed to borrow money from this same friend, but you were under the belief that there was a greater than fifty-percent chance that your request for a shortterm monetary loan would be denied, this is when you are going to become tempted to find another way to motivate this friend to loan you some money. You would find a way to become misleading and manipulative with your friend. ARE LYING and BEING MANIPULATIVE THE SAME THING? Lying is a form of manipulation, but there are other forms of manipulation that do not necessarily involve blatant

dishonesty. One example is being intentionally vague and ambiguous with your words and verbal communication with people. For example, say you lived in Ensenada, Mexico and you wanted transportation into Los Angeles, California (USA). Say you asked me, “Alan, can you transport me from Ensenada to Los Angeles?” and my response was, “I can surely get you up to Southern California!” (pay attention to the exact words I chose to use here) Then, I end up dropping you off in either Carlsbad, California or Oceanside, California. More than likely, your response would be “Hey! I paid you gas money to take me into Los Angeles! This is not Los Angeles!!” If I were a misleading and manipulative person, I would say, “I never promised to take you as far as Los Angeles. I promised to take you into Southern California . This is Southern California. But if you give me an extra $200.00, I will take all the way into Los Angeles!” Ninety-percent chance, you would become incredibly angry. You would feel “tricked” and misled. This is how it feels to have someone mislead you and manipulate you. Again, in this fictional scenario, I did not blatantly lie to you (because I never specifically said, “I can get you into Los Angeles”), but I did mislead you. By using the phrase, “Southern California,” I got you to believe that I would take you all the way into Los Angeles in exchange for you paying me money for automobile fuel. Some people will attempt to manipulate you by lying to you; some people will attempt to manipulate you by misleading you to believe you will experience one result when in reality they know ahead of time that you will experience a totally different result (such as the example in the paragraph above) ; some people will attempt to manipulate you by offering you some sort of ‘incentive’ or ‘reward’ to motivate you to do something

that you really do not have a genuine desire to do (e.g., a man offering a woman money to have sex with him, even though the woman is not genuinely interested in having sex with that particular man) ; and some people will attempt to manipulate you by threatening you with harsh consequences, physical harm, or detrimental repercussions (e.g., your boss telling you, “If you refuse to work on holidays without being paid for overtime, I will fire you and find someone else who will work on holidays with no overtime pay!”) . Men primarily lie to women and mislead & manipulate women in order to secure sex from that woman . More specifically, short-term and/or non-monogamous sex (i.e., ‘casual sex’). Women rarely lie to men and mislead & manipulate men in order to secure casual sex from them. Typically, if a woman wants to engage in casual sex with a man – and she is reasonably attractive and sexy – not too many men are going to turn down her invitation. The only men who usually reject women’s sexual advances are men who are already romantically involved with another woman (their long-term girlfriend, their fiancée, or their wife) or men who are simply not physically or sexually attracted to the women who are inviting them to engage in sexual activity with them. THE TWO TYPES OF WOMEN WHO REGULAR ENGAGE IN MANIPULATIVE ‘MIND GAMES’ WITH MEN I always tell any single heterosexual man that there are generally FOUR TYPES OF WOMEN who they are always going to encounter in today’s dating scene. Those four types are: • “Reciprocators ” • “Rejecters ”

• “Wholesome Pretenders ” (and “Erotic Hypocrites “) • “Manipulative Timewasters ” The first two types of women are those who are upfront and straightforwardly honest with men regarding their interest in spending time with that man … or … their lack of interest. For example, if a woman is a Reciprocator , this means that if a man expresses an interest in spending time with her in a romantic or strictly sexual manner, she will immediately and straightforwardly let that man know that she is interested in the exact same type of companionship. Conversely, if a woman is a Rejecter , this means that a woman will not hesitate to let a man know honestly and straightforwardly that she has absolutely no interest in sharing that man’s company in any sort of romantic or strictly sexual manner. The two types of women who are more misleading and manipulative in their ways are the Wholesome Pretender types (an Erotic Hypocrite is simply a more pretentious, materialistic, spoiled and outspoken version of a Wholesome Pretender ) and Manipulative Timewaster types. First, I want to enlighten you to the difference between an ALPHA male and a BETA male . ALPHA MALES vs. BETA MALES Men, this is something you must know: Women do not react and respond to ALL MEN in the EXACT SAME MANNER. Especially sexually. There are at least TWO TYPES of men that women gravitate toward for different reasons: Men who are generally referred to as ALPHA MALES and men who are generally referred to as BETA MALES . I discuss these types of men in more detail in my other book, The Beta Male Revolution: Why Many Men Have Totally Lost Interest in

Marriage in Today’s Society . I will also discuss some more of the differences between these two types of men in the subsequent chapters of this book. In simple terms, an ‘Alpha’ male is a man who carries himself in a very confident and highly self-assured manner, he is very masculine, and he possess an almost natural sense of seductive charm and sex appeal. On the negative end, Alpha males are usually very difficult to get along with on a day-to-day, weekto-week, month-to-month basis, and they are very dominant and uncompromising (not to mention, very promiscuous) with women, so these types of men do not always make a good long-term spouse or romantic companion for women. A ‘Beta’ male is a man who women usually find to be far easier to get along with personality-wise than the typical Alpha male, and Beta males are usually more monogamyoriented, more family oriented, and more financially responsible. The weakness of the Beta male is that they do not really possess a strong sense of backbone (i.e., they are very passive, extremely accommodating, and very lenient and tolerant of disrespectful behavior that is being exhibited toward them by women and other men) and consequently, these type of men tend to be perceived by women as being more ‘wimpy’ and easy to control, influence, dominate, and manipulate, which ultimately lowers their aura of seductive charm and sex appeal among many women. Alpha males are generally known as the ‘bad boys’ and ‘jerks’ among women, while Beta males are generally known as the ‘nice guys’ and ‘gentlemen’ among women. WHOLESOME PRETENDERS (and EROTIC HYPOCRITES) Hypothetically, if all men were strictly Alpha males … or all men were exclusively Beta males … then 99% chance, there would be no such thing as “Wholesome Pretenders” or

“Manipulative Timewasters.” Just about all women would exhibit the behavior of either a “Reciprocator” and/or a “Rejecter.” The reality is that many women are sexually duplicitous . This means that some women will behave in one manner toward one type of guy, but they will behave in a totally different manner toward another type of guy as it relates to their desire to engage in sex. For example, there are many women who will quickly reveal their kinky and erotically uninhibited side as well as their interest in engaging in promiscuous and/or polyamorous sex with a man who they perceive to be a sexy, erotically dominant Alpha male … but that same woman will behave in a more prudish and sexually conservative manner when in the company of a man who she perceives as more of a Beta male, and she will usually give the Beta male the misleading impression that she only engages in sex with men within the context of a long-term, emotionally profound, strictly monogamous relationship. This type of sexually duplicitous woman is what I refer to as either a “Wholesome Pretender” or an “Erotic Hypocrite.” These women will always present themselves to men as being ‘innocent,’ ‘wholesome,’ ‘prudish or semi-prudish,’ and strictly-monogamy oriented until they have determined that the man they are interacting with is a definite Alpha male type. MANIPULATIVE TIMEWASTERS The other type of woman that men will encounter in today’s dating scene that possess highly manipulative tendencies are the women who I refer to as “Manipulative Timewasters” (or simply “Timewasters” for short). This is the type of woman who will meet a man, and later on mislead that man into believing that she has a genuine interest

in sharing that man’s company in some sort of romantic or strictly sexual manner, but in reality, this woman only wants to recruit this man to be her next long-term platonic ‘male girlfriend’ or ‘play brother’ … or she wants to exploit this man for his financial resources and material possessions (i.e., she wants to use him as a ‘Sugar Daddy’ type) for an indefinite number of weeks, months, or even years. One thing all men need to understand about women is this: Women will always test men . Many dating coaches around the world refer to this as ‘ball busting’ (or ‘challenging a man’s testicles’) or simply “shit testing .” What this means is that if a woman is not sure if you are more of an Alpha male type or more of a Beta male type, she is going to employ a number of ‘psychological tests’ during her conversation with a man to help her better determine if the man possesses more Alpha tendencies or more Beta tendencies. Both Wholesome Pretenders and Manipulative Timewasters are going to test men. They will test men to see how strong their backbone is, or how soft, weak, and lenient their sense of backbone is. One difference between men and women is that if a man is not interested in sharing a woman’s company in a romantic and/or sexual manner, most times he will leave that woman alone indefinitely (unless the man and woman were childhood friends). Many women, on the other hand, do not like to immediately and straightforwardly reject men. Why not? Because those men who they reject could be wealthy. The men they reject could provide them with very flattering and entertaining platonic companionship when they are feeling bored or lonely. The men they reject could provide an ‘emotionally empathetic listening ear’ during those moments when these women feel like venting about their problems, disappointments, and frustrations (caused by womanizing

Alpha males). Get my point? This is why you have women who behave like Manipulative Timewasters. THE REASON WHY I BEGAN EXHIBITING MODE ONE BEHAVIOR WITH WOMEN Some men who have read my books are under the mistaken impression that the only objective that motivated me to begin exhibiting Mode One Behavior with women was a strong desire to have sex with as many women as possible. No (but that was surely a part of my motivation!). As I mentioned in Chapter One, I absolutely hate engaging in conversations with women when I feel like I am being dishonest, disingenuous, and/or misleading and manipulative with them. It makes me cringe inside. Referring to those three categories of relationships (i.e., a strictly non-sexual relationship with a woman, a strictly sexual relationship with a woman, and a relationship that involves spending time with a woman both sexually and non-sexually) , I hated feeling as though I needed to lie to women about what type of companionship that I was genuinely interested in. I wanted to always be 100% truthful with women about why I really wanted to share their company in the short-run or longrun. What I realized beginning with no later than November of 1984 during my fourth year as a college student at Indiana University was that even when I had my romantic and/or sexual desires, interests, and intentions abruptly and straightforwardly rejected by women, it still felt better to verbally communicate my romantic and sexual desires and interests to women in a bold, upfront, specific, and straightforwardly honest manner .

Whenever I have been rejected by women after exhibiting Mode One Behavior with them, the ‘sting’ of the rejection had a far less negative effect on my ego than when I exhibited Mode Two and Mode Three Behavior with women. The “starting point” of all relationships with women begins with these series of questions each and every man must ask himself: What is it that you really want from women? Why do you really want to engage in regular conversations with them? Why do you really want to share their company on a regular or semi-regular basis? Do you want a strictly non-sexual, purely platonic friendship with the women you meet? Do you want a short-term and/or non-monogamous ‘casual sex’ oriented relationship with these women? Or do you want one of the women that you have recently became acquainted with to become your next long-term girlfriend or future fiancée and wife? Whatever your desires and interests are, how are you going to choose to verbally communicate your true desires and interests to the various women you meet ? MODE ONE BEHAVIOR IS ABOUT CONQUERING YOUR FEARS I have found that the primary factor that distinguishes Mode One Behavior from Mode Two Behavior, Mode Two Behavior from Mode Three Behavior, and so on, basically revolves around the degree of fear you have towards letting women know what it is that you really want from them and why you really want to share their company . When you exhibit Mode Two Behavior with women, your primary fear is…

• THE FEAR OF RECEIVING HARSH, SUBJECTIVE CRITICISMS AND PERSONAL INSULTS FROM WOMEN (i.e., the fear of having a woman disapprove of WHAT your real desires, interests, and intentions are, OR, the fear of having a woman disapprove of THE MANNER in which you chose to verbally communicate your desires, interests, and intentions to her) When you exhibit Mode Three Behavior with women, your primary fear is… • THE FEAR OF BEING REJECTED and then INDEFINITELY IGNORED BY A WOMAN YOU ARE VERY ATTRACTED TO (i.e., the fear of not having your real desires, interests, and intentions reciprocated by a woman who you are attracted to, and subsequently, having that woman deny you access to her attention and companionship indefinitely) Men who regularly exhibit Mode Two Behavior with women are men who can generally handle being rejected, as long as a woman rejects them in a polite manner without any harsh criticisms or insults. What a man who regular exhibits Mode Two Behavior cannot handle is more so the thought of being harshly criticized or insulted by a woman (especially in front of other people in public), and the thought of having a woman react to his words and conversation very negatively and leave his presence with an unfavorable impression of him. Men of this nature always want to maintain a public image and reputation for being a ‘nice guy’ and a ‘well-mannered gentleman.’ Men who regular exhibit Mode Three Behavior with women are the type of men who would rather receive negative attention from a woman than no attention from women at all .

These men cannot handle abrupt or straightforward rejection, and for the most part, any other type of rejection. Their ego is too fragile and sensitive. Even more so, these men cannot handle being completely and indefinitely ignored by a woman who they desire romantically or sexually. These men need constant attention from women and they need regular access to a woman’s companionship. It is when a man feels as though he has been taken advantage of, unfairly criticized, and/or blown off or ignored in an unnecessarily harsh manner, that leads him to another mode of behavior known as Mode Four Behavior. Mode Four Behavior is not really provoked by any type of fear, but rather it is predicated on a desire for “egotistical revenge” towards a female (either one or two females in particular, or the entire gender). This is over half of the reason why I wrote this book . To help men eliminate that residual anger, frustration, and bitterness that usually develops after a man feels as though he has been misled, disrespected, or manipulated by a woman who he was interested in spending time with in a romantic or strictly sexual manner. As I mentioned in the previous chapter, with every woman who you have a desire to approach and socially interact with, there is something that you want from them . Do not fool yourself. I can only laugh when I hear men make statements such as, “Oh … I did not really want anything from her …” Then why did you bother talking to her? “I just wanted to share her company so that I could get to know her better…” Why do you want to ‘get to know her better?’ For what purpose? You cannot be honest with women until you as a man first learn how to be honest with yourself. The reality is this: The number one reason why any man approaches a woman, and initiates any type of ‘flirtatious conversation’ with a woman is because we want to have sex with that woman.

Period. Either in a long-term monogamous manner, a long-term non-monogamous manner, a short-term monogamous manner, or a short-term non-monogamous manner. I never initiate a conversation with a woman in order to develop a purely platonic friendship with her (unless I believe that woman can help me improve my career in some way and/or that woman has the ability to help me earn more money). As I just mentioned above, men always want sex with women in one of these four contexts: • Long-term, emotionally profound, monogamous sexual relationship that has a high possibility to lead to marriage • Long-term non-monogamous sexual relationship (i.e., an ‘open relationship’ otherwise known as polyamory ) • Short-term monogamous sexual relationship (i.e., a ‘boyfriend-girlfriend’ relationship that is not going to result in marriage) • Short-term non-monogamous sexual relationship (i.e., ‘casual sex’) Most men find it relatively easy to verbally communicate their desire for sex that falls in the first category (long-term monogamous sex); On the other hand, many men find it extremely hard to verbally communicate to women their desire for short-term and/or non-monogamous sex (especially if they are more of a Beta male than an Alpha male ). If there is one thing that many men do not realize, is that there is a difference between talking and verbally communicating . Have you heard the adage, “He did a lot of talking, but he failed to say anything of importance.”? Talking is simply

verbalizing words . For example, if I read off a list of random words from a sheet of paper, I would be talking, but I would not be communicating anything. If you are making comments or statements that do not make any sense, and others have a hard time comprehending what point you are trying to get across, this means that you are talking , but you are not verbally communicating anything . To verbally communicate means to express or exchange useful information related to someone’s needs and desires . If a woman is providing me with information that can help me make choices and decisions regarding my interest in further interacting with her, she is communicating with me. Communicating primarily centers around expressing one’s physical and emotional needs , their innermost desires , their general interests , and their short-term or long-term intentions . FEAR is what always motivates manipulative behavior . When you are afraid to be upfront with your real needs, real desires, real interests, and true long-term intentions and objectives, then you are going to feel inclined to exhibit behavior that is dishonest, disingenuous, misleading and manipulative toward others. What most people do not consciously realize, is that MANIPULATION IS ALWAYS A TWO-WAY STREET . “Really??” YES . In other words, THE ONLY WAY A WOMAN CAN MANIPULATE YOU IS IF YOU AS A MAN ARE EITHER DIRECTLY (intentionally) OR INDIRECTLY (subconsciously) TRYING TO MANIPULATE HER . When you choose to exhibit Mode Two Behavior , or Mode Three Behavior , you are either directly or indirectly attempting to MISLEAD and MANIPULATE a woman . The two primary goals of Mode One Behavior are to …

1) Help men overcome their invalid beliefs and attitudes regarding women’s behavior, and help them weed out all their petty fears and egotistical insecurities; 2) Help men quickly and effectively identify women who are either “Wholesome Pretenders” and “Erotic Hypocrites” and/or women who are “Manipulative Timewasters.” The key to developing a demeanor and personality that is more ‘Alpha’ than ‘Beta’ is to know WHAT YOU WANT from women, WHY YOU WANT IT , and WHAT BEHAVIOR you’re willing to exhibit (or NOT exhibit ) in order to get it. In many surveys conducted, self-confidence and a strong sense of backbone are usually the top two factors that have been identified that best attract and arouse women sexually that is not related to man’s level of physical attractiveness or his degree of wealth. It is not my place to tell men why they should share a woman’s company. Some men may want an emotionally profound, romantic, long-term monogamous sexual relationship with a woman, while other men may only want a short-term, nonmonogamous ‘casual sex’ relationship with a woman. To each his own. What I try to emphasize and convey in this book is that regardless of what specific type of companionship you desire from a woman, it is always best to verbally communicate your desires, interests, and intentions to women confidently and straightforwardly . This book will help you do just that. What is one of my top Mode One principles? NEVER REALLY CONCERN YOURSELF WITH WHAT BOTHERS YOU ABOUT WOMEN’S BEHAVIOR . Why? Because you have NO CONTROL over changing or

improving a woman’s behavior. Only that woman does. Only concern yourself with two aspects of YOUR behavior: 1) HOW YOU CHOOSE TO BEHAVE TOWARD WOMEN 2) HOW YOU CHOOSE TO ALLOW WOMEN TO BEHAVE TOWARD YOU Do not attempt to manipulate women. Do not allow women to manipulate you. Do not allow women to waste your time if they are not genuinely interested in spending time with you in a romantic or (strictly) sexual manner. Do not allow women to engage in “manipulative mind games” with you. Be CONFIDENT . Be FEARLESS . Be STRAIGHTFORWARD . Get ready for the freedom of MODE ONE BEHAVIOR . Before I explain why Mode One is such an effective form of verbal communication with women, I will first point out why the other three modes of behavior are so weak and ineffective. First, I want you to perform a brief exercise: Take out a pencil, and a piece of paper, and think of the last five social interactions that you have had with women that resulted in you feeling either a) angry and bitter toward that woman, b) egotistically dejected, and/or c) that your behavior toward that woman was cowardly or extremely phony. Then, once you have written down your list of interactions with a minimum of five women, answer these four questions: 1) Did you ever spend more than approximately twenty-minutes engaged in ‘small talk’ or ‘chitchat’ (i.e., conversation that was trivial and inconsequential, yet entertaining) with any of these women on your list in your very first conversation with them?

2) Did you ever hesitate for more than a week after you first made the acquaintance of any of the women on your list before letting them know what your true romantic and/or sexual desires, interests and intentions were? 3) Did you ever spend weeks, months, or even years pretending to be content with being ‘just friends’ with any of the women on your list when you knew deep down that you wanted a relationship that was more romantic or sexual in nature? 4) Did you ever flatter any of these women excessively or repeatedly offer to spend money on one or more of these women in order to motivate them to spend time with you in a romantic or strictly sexual manner? Once you answer these four questions, you’re free to proceed to Chapter Three. Continue reading my friend.

CHAPTER THREE Mode TWO Behavior: The Men Who Delay or Postpone Letting Women Know What is REALLY on Their Mind “It is not normal to be honest. Normal people are concerned with figuring out the right thing to say that puts them in the best light. They want to live up to their own best guess about what the people they are talking to want to hear.” Dr. Brad Blanton , author of Radical Honesty: How To Transform Your Life By Telling The Truth

Mode Two Behavior . This is the verbal communication style that is probably the most frequently by single heterosexual men used with women than any of the other three ‘modes’ of behavior. Why? Because most men in society have been socially brainwashed (see Chapter One) to leave women with a “favorable impression” of themselves, and to do and say those things that will directly lead to a woman perceiving them as a ‘polite and well-mannered gentleman.’ Men who exhibit Mode Two Behavior are those who want to maintain a positive, favorable, and wholesome monogamy-oriented reputation with just about each woman who they choose to socially interact with. Most men who exhibit Mode Two Behavior are reasonably confident, and usually have no problem initiating a conversation with a new female acquaintance. Also, these men are usually intelligent, possess an above-average degree of self-esteem and social skills, and usually maintain a good sense of humor and quick wit. The men who verbally communicate with women in a Mode Two manner are usually those who grew up in a middle-class or upper-middle-class family and their mother (or step-mother) heavily influenced their behavior toward women. THE BENEFITS OF EXHIBITING MODE TWO BEHAVIOR If you are a man who would like for every woman you socially interact with to compliment you, and compliment your behavior toward them, and you would like to avoid any sort of ‘argument’ or ‘verbal confrontation’ with any woman you socialize with, then Mode Two Behavior is the verbal communication style that you should choose to use regularly. Generally speaking, any man who exhibits Mode Two Behavior with women is usually going to be liked by most if not all women. Everything about the manner in which a man behaves toward women centers on being cautious with his

speech and very polite and agreeable in terms of the way he expresses his thoughts, opinions, desires, and interests. Men who love to flatter women and entertain women during their conversations with women of interest will feel very comfortable verbally communicating to women in a Mode Two manner. More specifically, if you are a man who genuinely enjoys engaging in ‘small talk’ and ‘chitchat’ with women, then Mode Two should definitely be your verbal communication style of choice. If you enjoy conversing with women while they are in the company of their parents, siblings, and/or children or while they are joined by one or more of their close friends, then a Mode Two verbal communication style will probably suit your needs just fine. Men will typically avoid saying anything to a woman that is too provocative or too sexually explicit when they are operating with a Mode Two frame of mind. THE MAIN DETRIMENT OF EXHIBITING MODE TWO BEHAVIOR As I explained in Chapter Two, there are four types of women that all men will encounter in today’s dating scene: Reciprocators , Rejecters , Wholesome Pretenders / Erotic Hypocrites , and Manipulative Timewasters . The only way for a man to quickly and effectively identify which category a woman falls under is to let his romantic and/or sexual desires, interests, and intentions be known to a woman fairly quickly. This is where a major weakness of Mode Two Behavior is exposed . Say you meet this very attractive woman named Diana. You engage in a conversation with Diana that she finds to be very flattering and very entertaining. Diana smiles a lot during her conversation with you and she laughs in response to all your

jokes (even the awful, not-so-funny ones). Now, after seventy-five minutes of conversation, you say to Diana, “I would love to treat you to dinner one day soon. How do you feel about that?” Diana’s unfortunate response is, “I am so sorry [insert your first name here], but my ex-boyfriend and I just got back together last week. We have been dating off-and-on for over four years, and we agreed to give our relationship one more try. Sorry! But thank you so much for the dinner invitation! That was so sweet of you!” How are you going to feel after this conversation? At minimum, very disappointed. At maximum, you are going to feel agitated, frustrated, and regretful. You just invested seventy-five minutes of your valuable time flattering this woman’s ego, telling her how beautiful and sexy she is, sharing with her funny stories about your life and past experiences, and attempting to find out more about Diana’s personality, character, and integrity … only to find out at the very end of the conversation that she is already romantically involved with another man. This is the number one consequence of exhibiting Mode Two Behavior with women. Because you delay and postpone letting women know why you are REALLY conversing with them and why you REALLY want to share their company, the women have nothing to reciprocate or reject until you do let them know why you REALLY bothered socializing with them. Will you prevent most women from criticizing you or insulting you by exhibiting Mode Two Behavior with them? 99% chance, yes. You will most certainly leave women with a favorable impression of you, and cause them to shower you with several different compliments such as, “You are so nice!” “You are so sweet!” “You are so polite!!” “You are so funny and witty!!” That is the ‘good news.’

The ‘bad news’ is that when a man exhibits Mode Two Behavior with women regularly, he will inevitably find himself wasting a lot of time engaged in conversations with women who have no genuine interest in sharing his company in a romantic or strictly sexual manner. Many times, men who exhibit Mode Two Behavior with women will find themselves wasting both time AND MONEY with women who will never end up in a romantic relationship with them or never end up agreeing to have sex with them. There are some men who exhibit Mode Two Behavior with women that no only delay or postpone verbally communicating their true romantic or sexual desires, interests, and intentions to women for thirty minutes, sixty minutes, or two hours. There are some men who will wait days or weeks before letting a woman know why they really want to share their company. I cannot speak for other men, but speaking for myself, I want to know as soon as possible that a woman has no interest in sharing my company in a romantic or sexual manner. I do not want to wait six days, two weeks, or one month before I find out that a woman who I am attracted to is not really interested in sharing my company other than in a purely platonic manner. Allowing a woman to waste your valuable time (and money) is YOUR FAULT. Not the woman’s fault. No need for you to refer to a woman as a ‘bitch’ after you realize how much time and money you wasted on a woman who eventually ended up rejecting your romantic and sexual advances. MANIPULATIVE TIMEWASTERS LOVE MEN WHO EXHIBIT MODE TWO BEHAVIOR Women who fall into the category of the Manipulative Timewaster love men who verbally communicate their desires and interests in a Mode Two manner. These women prey on men who exhibit this type of behavior.

Again, women who are Manipulate Timewaster types know from the time they meet a man that they have an almost zero percent interest in spending time with him in any sort of romantic or strictly sexual manner. What this type of woman wants from a man is a) multiple episodes of flattering and entertaining conversation, b) an emotionally empathetic ‘listening ear’ (i.e., a ‘male girlfriend’ or ‘play brother’), and/or c) access to a man’s financial resources and material possessions (at minimum, a few free meals, free movies, or free concerts) for an indefinite period of time. You must remember: A woman who is a Manipulative Timewaster is nothing more than a ‘Rejecter’ who chooses to present a man with the disingenuous façade that she is a potential ‘Reciprocator’ for a temporary or indefinite period of time. Plain and simple, men who exhibit Mode Two Behavior with women are guilty of engaging in too many episodes of lengthy conversations with women that are flattering and entertaining, but at the same time, trivial and inconsequential . American Television and film actor Ted Danson was asked once in an interview, “What lessons did you learn about interacting with women while playing the funloving womanizer ‘Sam Malone’ on the long-running NBC sitcom, Cheers ? Danson replied, “men should not do so much talking.” Danson went on to say how he heard from many women that talking too much (what most people refer to as being ‘loquacious’) is one of the primary forms of behavior that diminishes a man’s seductive charm and sex appeal. As I mentioned in Chapter Two, there is a difference between talking and verbally communicating . The latter is always beneficial. The former, not so much. THE ‘VAGUE & AMBIGUOUS’ ZONE

In the world of Attraction & Seduction advice (which includes many dating coaches, pickup artists [PUAs], seduction gurus, etc.), there are basically two general schools of thought being taught to clients: Direct principles and philosophies and Indirect principles and philosophies. A Mode One verbal communication style with women is representative of being direct with women. A Mode Two verbal communication style is representative of being indirect with women. What are the advantages and disadvantages of being indirect with women? Essentially, everything that I have already said about the pros and cons of exhibiting Mode Two Behavior with women. When you verbally communicate with women in a Mode Two manner, you open the door for women to be very vague and ambiguous with you regarding what their true desires, interests, and intentions are. For those of you reading this book who may not be familiar with those terms, when a person is being ‘vague and ambiguous,’ this means that they are reluctant to fully reciprocate someone’s desires and interests … but at the same time, they are reluctant to fully reject that person’s desires and interests as well. This person does not want to say, “Yes, I am definitely interested in sharing your company in a sexual manner” and they also do not want to straightforwardly say, “No, I am definitely NOT interested in sharing your company in a sexual manner.” They want to remain uncommitted and somewhere in the middle between a definite ‘yes’ and a definite ‘no.’ ALL MANIPULATIVE MEN and WOMEN LOVE TO BE INDIRECT WITH OTHERS; MANIPULATIVE PEOPLE LOVE TO OPERATE IN WHAT I REFER TO AS THE ‘VAGUE & AMBIGUOUS ZONE .’

This brings me to the whole “he’s ‘too nice’” syndrome . How many times have you, or a male friend of yours, had the unfortunate (and frustrating) experience of having a woman tell one of her good friends, “I thought he was handsome … fun to be around … but he was just ‘too nice.’ Eventually, I got bored with him.” When I was younger, I can name at least a half dozen times when I had a woman lose interest in me because that woman claimed that my behavior toward her was ‘too nice.’ What those women were really saying was that my behavior was too flattering, too entertaining, too lenient and too accommodating. My behavior was not firm enough or demanding enough (i.e., I failed to demonstrate any noticeable backbone or seductive charm with them). Even more specifically, my behavior was not provocative enough. Most dictionaries define provocative as “arousing, or likely to arouse anger, interest, curiosity, or sexual desire .” If you want to develop any type of relationship with a woman that goes beyond a purely platonic friendship with her, something about your conversations and interactions with women should be, to some degree, provocative . THE MISTAKEN BELIEF MOST “NICE GUY” TYPES HAVE Men, I am going to tell you a little ‘secret’ regarding your ability to generate interest from a woman: You are more likely to generate romantic and sexual interest from a woman by exhibiting behavior that is challenging and even frustrating to her ego , than you will by exhibiting behavior that is exceptionally pleasing and flattering to her ego . For there to be any romantic or sexual interest between a male and female, there must be some degree of erotic tension . When you become interested in watching a good, dramatic television show, soap opera, or movie, it’s usually because there is a high degree of tension in the story. No tension, no interest . I am a screenwriter by trade, and every workshop I

have ever attended or every book I have read about the art of screenwriting tended to emphasize that there must be some degree of tension or conflict incorporated into the story for it to be interesting. Believe it or not, the same concept applies for maintaining interest in a romantic or strictly sexual relationship between a man and a woman. Most people look at tension as a ‘bad’ thing to have in a relationship. NOT TRUE . Many men and women confuse tension with animosity . These two terms are not the same thing. Animosity between a man and a woman is caused by expressing feelings of hatred or hostility; when your behavior is adversarial or antagonistic. On the other hand, tension in a relationship is caused by feelings of intrigue , excitement , or suspense . More specifically, ‘erotic tension’ is the direct result of provocative words and behavior combined with a certain degree of lighthearted agitation . Erotic tension is almost a prerequisite for the development of romantic and sexual interest . This is an important point to remember. In a matter of speaking, this is what causes most women to become horny. Most men believe that a man is only capable of getting a woman sexually aroused if he kisses her in the mouth, kisses the woman all over her body, or caresses and massages her clitoris and vagina. Those are all factors that contribute to a woman’s feeling of horniness, but the fact is, a woman can get horny from reading a sexually explicit erotica novel or listening to a man whisper in her (left) ear using sexually explicit language. Anytime a man does something or says something that ignites erotic tension in a woman, that woman is going to become horny. Again, erotic tension comes from provocative words and behavior . Provocative words and behavior comes from exhibiting behavior that does not place a woman on a pedestal. Anytime a man exhibits behavior that is excessively flattering

to a woman’s ego, that is too pleasing and entertaining, and/or that is exceptionally lenient and accommodating with a woman who has a penchant for exhibiting disrespectful or spoiled behavior with men, then your behavior is going to fail to be provocative. You cannot create erotic tension with women without expressing provocative words and exhibiting sexually provocative behavior . HOW CAN I BE SEXUALLY PROVOCATIVE WITH WOMEN WITHOUT RISKING BEING PERCEIVED AS ‘CRASS,’ ‘RUDE,’ or ‘DISRESPECTFUL?’ Now I know many of you men might be saying “Alan, I would love to openly discuss my sexual desires and interests with women in my very first conversation with them, but my mother taught me that such behavior was rude, crass and crude, and disrespectful. I do not want to be labeled a ‘jerk’ by women. How can I avoid this?” All human beings have accumulated their own unique brand of social brainwashing and cultural conditioning . In other words, we have all been taught by our mothers, fathers, stepmothers and step-fathers what behavior should be considered ‘socially appropriate’ and ‘socially inappropriate.’ For example, in many Asian countries, if an invited guest wears shoes in the house, that is considered ‘rude’ and ‘inappropriate.’ Even ‘disrespectful.’ In the United States, many men and women will keep their shoes on while visiting a friend or a relative. In the U.S., keeping one’s shoes on in the house is not considered ‘rude.’ The reality is, every woman you meet is going to be guided by her own brand of social programming and cultural conditioning . You could exhibit the exact same behavior toward two different women, and one woman will perceive your behavior as ‘exciting and sexy,’ while another woman will perceive that same behavior as ‘rude and disrespectful.’ It just really depends on the woman you are socially interacting

with at that time. You cannot continue with your adult life always worrying about what negative things women are going to say about you (to your face or behind your back). This is not your concern . You need to concentrate on being the man that you really want to be with women. Not the man that women expect you to be based on their own personal preferences. The primary reason why most single heterosexual men exhibit behavior toward women that is ‘too nice,’ or very cautious, polite, and conventional is because they are deeply afraid of revealing their sexual desires, interests, and intentions to women too quickly . These men are deeply afraid of being criticized by women, being insulted by women, and receiving negative or unenthusiastic reactions and responses from women. As a man, you must overcome this fear. I can guarantee you that if you hypnotized any single heterosexual man to always be upfront, specific, and straightforwardly honest with women regarding his real sexual desires and interests, there would be no such thing as Mode Two Behavior. The reality is ALL HUMAN BEINGS ARE SEXUAL BEINGS . If you are a biological creature, you have a sexual nature to you. There is nothing wrong or ‘shameful’ about having a desire to have sex with a woman. Dr. Blanton, in Radical Honesty makes a statement that “The problem with denying sexual energy is that, sooner or later, somehow or other, it has to be dealt with.” I know from taking a human sexuality class in college that most men who become “sexual perverts” are not the men who always talk about sex in an open and honest manner. It is actually JUST THE OPPOSITE. The men who grow up to be “sexual perverts” are usually the men who were brainwashed to believe that sexual desire was associated with being a ‘bad person’ or a person with ‘disgusting thoughts.’ These men associate sex with religious sin and immorality.

In the same way there are some men who are guilty of overemphasizing sex, there are other men who are guilty of underemphasizing sex. Now do not misunderstand what I am saying. I am not saying that every man should approach women and immediately invite them to have sex within the first ten seconds of their very first conversation with a woman. Most women are not accustomed to handle such immediate blunt, straightforward sex quite that quickly (but there are exceptions). But at the same time, do not go out of way to suppress or hide your sexual desires and interests for hours, days, or weeks. When I think of women from my past that initially seemed very attracted to me and interested in sharing my company, but then days later, these same women seemed to lose interest in sharing my company, it was rarely the women who I openly and freely spoke with them about sex. It was usually the women that I went out of my way to avoid bringing up the subject of sex. I would say probably 95% or more of the women who in the past labeled me as ‘too nice’ were women who I very rarely, if ever, discussed anything related to my true sexual desires, interests, and intentions with them. MEN WHO EXHIBIT MODE TWO BEHAVIOR ARE USUALLY SEXUALLY DUPLICITIOUS In Chapter Two, I discussed a category of women who I described as being sexually duplicitous . Once again, this means that a woman will behave one way while in the company of one type of man (e.g., the woman will behave in a prudish manner and make it clear to men that she is only interested in long-term monogamous sex) while behaving in a totally different way when in the company of another type of man (e.g., the woman will behave kinkier and quickly let it be known that she is open to engaging in one or more episodes of

short-term and/or non-monogamous sex) . The truth is, there are also many men who are just as sexually duplicitous as many of the women are . The vast majority of men who exhibit Mode Two Behavior tend to be very sexually duplicitous with women. Why? There are a lot of men who PUBLICLY want to maintain a reputation for being a polite, romantic, monogamy-oriented ‘gentleman.’ They feel this type of image and reputation will help them attract high quality women who are both attractive and intelligent with very good morals, values and ethics. But PRIVATELY , many of these same men want to connect with women who are also kinky, free-spirited, and promiscuous (i.e., open to engage in short-term nonmonogamous sex) and/or polyamorous (i.e., open to engage in long-term non-monogamous sex) . In other words, these men want to engage in both long-term monogamous sex with some women while also secretly engaging in short-term nonmonogamous (casual) sex with a totally different group of women, only they do not want to acknowledge their sexual duplicity openly and publicly. THE “DR. JEKYLL & MR. HYDE” SYNDROME I can almost guarantee you that anytime you have a frustrating or unenjoyable experience with a woman after exhibiting Mode Two Behavior, you’re going to SWITCH (either temporarily, or indefinitely) to a MODE FOUR STATE OF MIND . It is inevitable. That is another big weakness and risk in exhibiting Mode Two Behavior with women. Anytime you exhibit Mode Two Behavior, you will remain happy and feel content as long as you feel that you are NOT being treated unfairly or disrespectfully by a woman, or you feel that women are not harshly criticizing you or insulting

you for no valid reason. Men who exhibit Mode Two Behavior with women can generally handle being rejected in a nice, considerate manner (e.g., A woman saying to them, ”I’m sorry … you’re a really nice, sweet guy. A perfect gentleman. I just do not think we have any romantic chemistry. You understand, don’t you?” ). They can even handle being ignored after the rejection, as long as they know that their image and reputation as a ‘polite gentleman’ is still intact. However, as soon as a woman says anything or does anything to threaten their “nice guy” or “polite gentleman” image and reputation, or they feel women who are disrespectful or spoiled are taking advantage of their leniency and accommodating tendencies, this is when it is going to be a case of “MODE FOUR ZONE, here I come! ” Another problem with Mode Two Behavior, is that it is inherently MANIPULATIVE . Most Mode Two men do not CONSCIOUSLY or INTENTIONALLY set out to manipulate women, but ultimately, that is what Mode Two Behavior is really predicated on. Mode Two Behavior is representative of being manipulative with women in a very subtle, indirect manner. How so? Mode Two men typically are guilty of one of these two things: 1. Offering women tangible and intangible incentives and rewards in exchange for their romantic and sexual companionship 2. Verbally communicating with women in a manner that is vague and ambiguous regarding what their true desires and interests are.

When you exhibit Mode Two Behavior, you are basically using pleasant, flattering, and entertaining behavior as an incentive to motivate a particular response that you desire from that woman. Subconsciously, what you are saying to her is “if I behave in a manner that’s pleasing to you, I would hope that you would reward me and return the favor by behaving in a manner that is pleasing to me.” In other words, this is a case of I scratch your back, you scratch mine . Whether you agree with it or not, when you exhibit Mode Two Behavior, YOU ARE BEING MANIPULATIVE WITH WOMEN . Most men, particularly those whose mothers had a major influence on how they are “supposed to behave” towards women, tend to behave in a much more pleasant and flattering manner towards women in their early interactions with them than later on. How many times have you heard a woman say “he was so nice to me when he first began pursuing my attention and companionship , but once we started officially dating, HE CHANGED . Now he sometimes behaves like a jerk ! ” No, this man did not really ‘change’ at all. HE SIMPLY FINALLY CHOSE TO REVEAL WHO HE REALLY WAS IN THE FIRST PLACE . Essentially, when a man exhibits Mode Two Behavior with women, he is postponing revealing who he really is at his core until he feels that his new female romantic companion fully trusts him and feels totally comfortable in his presence. I once a had a masseuse tell me that “Your real self is synonymous with your sexual self.” I would generally agree with that assertion. Look in the dictionary for the formal definition of what it means to be sexual. Most men would think to be ‘sexual’ means to make an effort to have sex with a woman. NOT TRUE . That is more so the definition of what it means to be sensual. The primary definition of being ‘sexual’ means “of or relating to the sexes (males and females), or the expression of feelings

between them” (Oxford American Dictionary). In other words, anytime you’re expressing your true thoughts and feelings to a woman, you are being SEXUAL (again, not to be confused with “sensual” or “erotic”). I remember when I would engage in sexually provocative conversations with women, some of them would call me “mannish” (e.g., “Oh Alan … you are SO mannish!”) I always thought that to be ‘mannish’ meant to be ‘kinky’ or ‘erotically naughty.’ Look in your dictionary: To be ‘mannish’ simply means to “behave like a man.” While you have the dictionary in front of you, also take time to look up the term “nice.” You know what it really means to be nice?? The Latin derivation of “nice” (nescius ) means to be ignorant and foolish . The Middle English derivation of “nice” means to be strange and lazy (Oxford American College dictionary). So, anytime you are attempting to exhibit the behavior of a Mode Two “nice guy,” what you are really doing is exhibiting behavior that is strange, lazy, ignorant, and foolish. Surprised? RECAP Typically, the primary men who tend to regularly exhibit Mode Two Behavior with women are those men who grew up in a middle-class or upper-middleclass family background, and the man’s mother was his major influence and teacher for what is ‘appropriate’ or ‘inappropriate’ behavior to exhibit toward women The main benefit of exhibiting Mode Two Behavior with women is that such behavior will lead to many women complimenting a man, and immediately labeling him as a ‘nice guy’ or a ‘polite gentlemen.’ The man will be able to avoid arguments with

women, verbal confrontations with women, harsh criticisms from women, and personal insults from women

When a man exhibits Mode Two Behavior with women, he generally delays or postpones letting women know of his desire to share their company in a romantic or strictly sexual manner until he is convinced that the women he is attracted to likes him, trusts him, and totally feels comfortable in his presence

The main detriment of Mode Two Behavior is that many women will be able to cause these men to waste valuable time and money before revealing to these men that they really have no interest in sharing these men’s company in any sort of romantic or strictly sexual manner

Many men who exhibit Mode Two Behavior tend to be categorized by women as being ‘too nice’ and boring, which causes many women to view them as nothing more than a candidate to be a purely platonic friend of theirs

Men who exhibit Mode Two Behavior are both manipulative and sexually duplicitous. These men want the public image and reputation of a man who is polite and very monogamy-oriented, but privately, they want to engage in many episodes of short-term and/or non-monogamous ‘casual’ sex.

When I was younger, and naiver, I used to believe that a woman’s compliments about my personality and behavior were synonymous with her interest in spending time with me in a romantic and/or sexual manner . I used to genuinely believe that if a woman had a dozen good things to say about me and my behavior, that this meant that this woman was highly interested in me romantically and sexually. What I quickly learned in my early twenties was that a woman’s compliments about a man are not an accurate indicator of that woman’s romantic or sexual interest in that man . COMPLIMENTS MEAN NOTHING if a woman has no interest in sharing your company in a romantic or (strictly) sexual manner. Again, take out a pencil, and a piece of paper, and think about all your beliefs and attitudes associated with being perceived by women as a “nice guy” or a “polite gentleman.” 1) When you behaved like a “nice guy” with women (i.e., you were ‘well-mannered,’ and went out of your way to avoid talking about anything sensual or erotic with a woman), were your conversations with women always honest and genuine ? Or did you find yourself feeling very phony and insincere with women during those conversations? 2) How do you generally respond to or react to a woman when she expresses harsh, subjective criticisms about you and your behavior? Do you become egotistically insecure , argumentative , or defensive in response to harsh, subjective criticisms and personal insults? Do you begin to resent the woman who is criticizing you and insulting you? 3) How many times have you given a woman the misleading impression that she was the only woman that had a romantic or sexual interest in, when you knew deep down that you had already expressed a romantic or sexual

interest to other women besides this woman? How many times have you been dishonest and disingenuous with women in order to maintain the image and reputation of a ‘nice guy’ or a ‘polite and monogamy-oriented gentleman?’ Once you answer these three questions, you are free to proceed to Chapter Four . Continue reading my friend.

CHAPTER FOUR Mode THREE Behavior: The Men Who Hide, Deny, or Prevent Women from Knowing What is REALLY on Their Mind “We lie to avoid whatever we perceive as dangerous – to our ego, to our comfort, to our safety. Most of us lie because our sense of safety and self-esteem depends on us feeling in control, in control of how other people react to us, of whether we appear smart or foolish, of whether we will eventually get what we want from others.” Dr. Susan Campbell , author of Getting Real: 10 Truth Skills You Need To Live An Authentic Life

Mode Three Behavior . I would have to say, that out of all the four modes of verbal communication, Mode Three is probably the most cowardly and pathetic. At least when a man exhibits Mode Two Behavior, he is usually confident enough to approach a woman and initiate a conversation with her. Again, the primary weakness with Mode Two Behavior is that a man tends to regularly engage in the bad habit of delaying and postponing letting women know what his true romantic and/or sexual desires, interests, and intentions are … whether that

delay lasts for twenty or thirty minutes, one or two hours, five or six days, or three or four weeks. When men choose to exhibit Mode Three Behavior with women, these men go a step further than simply postponing letting women know what their true desires and interests are. With Mode Three, men actually attempt to completely hide, deny, or camouflage their true romantic and/or sexual desires, interests, and intentions. When a man operates in a Mode Three state of mind, he never wants a woman to find out what his true desires, interests, and intentions are. He wants to indefinitely keep his honest thoughts and genuine desires and interests to himself. MEN WHO EXHIBIT MODE THREE BEHAVIOR ARE THOSE LOOKING TO PROTECT THEIR EGO AT ANY COST Plain and simple, men who choose to regularly exhibit Mode Three Behavior are those men who have a minimum of two major issues: 1. These men cannot handle harsh, abrupt, or straightforward rejection because such rejection is too painful to their fragile and ultra-sensitive ego; 2. These men cannot handle being completely and indefinitely ignored by a woman who they find to be physically attractive and sexually appealing; To put it another way, men who choose to regularly exhibit Mode Three Behavior would rather receive negative attention or unenthusiastic attention from a woman than no attention at all ; These men would rather be relegated to sharing a woman’s company in a purely platonic manner (i.e., be a permanent resident in a woman’s dreaded ‘Friend Zone’) than to not gain access to sharing that woman’s company at all.

For a man to consistently exhibit Mode One Behavior with women, a man must be able to remain totally unfazed by harsh criticisms and personal insults from women as well as abrupt, straightforward rejections from women. Even a man who regularly exhibits Mode Two Behavior with women must be at least able to handle some form of rejection from women, even if the rejection is delayed for a few hours, a few days, or a few weeks. Men who exhibit Mode Two Behavior with women can generally handle rejection (as long as they are rejected in a reasonably ‘polite’ manner), but they have a hard time with harsh subjective criticisms, personal insults, and negative reactions in general from women. The inability to handle rejection in any form is what causes men who exhibit Mode Three Behavior with women to become total ‘verbal cowards’ with women. They cannot bring themselves to ever being completely truthful with women regarding their honest romantic and/or sexual desires, interests, and intentions. THE MAIN DETRIMENT OF EXHIBITING MODE THREE BEHAVIOR There was a time when I was in my teenage years that I was told that the best way to ‘get over on women’ (i.e., manipulate women) was to keep my true thoughts, desires, and interests to myself. I was encouraged by some to exhibit behavior that was enigmatic and mysterious with women. Later, as I got older, I realized that this type of behavior was not beneficial to me at all. Here the reality: The more you hide, deny or camouflage YOUR true desires, interests, and intentions from women … the easier it is for them to do THE EXACT SAME THING with you. This is without question the major weakness of Mode Three Behavior . Say you meet this attractive woman named Laura. Over the next few days and weeks, you allow yourself to be treated by

Laura as nothing more than her ‘male girlfriend’ or ‘play brother.’ You join her for various social activities and hobbies, you treat her to lunch and dinner at least two or three times per month, you watch television with her, and you go to the movie theater with her. You provide Laura with as much of your platonic social companionship that any one woman could ever want from a man. You regularly engage in lengthy conversations with her that are flattering to her ego and very entertaining. Next thing you know, six months have passed, and you have never had sex with Laura, and even more specifically, you have never even shared a tongue kiss with Laura in the past twenty-seven weeks. You begin to wonder, “Will I ever get to make out with Laura? Or will I be relegated to being her ‘male girlfriend’ or ‘play brother’ forever?” Then, one day you find out that Laura engaged in short-term non-monogamous ‘casual’ sex with one of your favorite male friends. You are now upset. You express angry words to both your male friend and to Laura. “How dare you two have sex together without being in a long-term relationship!!” you say to Laura and your male friend. “Laura, I cannot believe you allowed my friend to have sex with you, and you just met my friend three weeks ago!! I have known you for almost seven months how!! How could you?!?” You proceed to label her a ‘slut’ and a ‘whore’ because you are feeling angry, bitter, and frustrated. The truth is, you have no right to be angry or bitter at Laura, or your male friend. LAURA DOES NOT ‘OWE YOU’ ANYTHING. She is not obligated to engage in sex with you . No one forced you to keep your true romantic and sexual desires and interests to yourself. YOU CHOSE TO DO THAT . And now, you are full of bitterness and resentment toward Laura and your male friend. The reality is, your anger is misdirected. You have no one to be angry toward other than yourself.

Now, because of your angry outburst, Laura wants nothing to do with you any longer. Neither does your former male friend. They saw your ‘dark side’ unleashed, and they have no interest in continuing their friendship with you. The most ironic thing about this scenario is that you kept your desires, interests, and intentions to yourself in an attempt to prevent yourself from being rejected by Laura, and subsequently being indefinitely ignored by Laura, but the reality is, now you are going to be indefinitely ignored by Laura ANYWAY. This type of scenario is common among men who choose to regularly exhibit Mode Three Behavior with a variety of women . Their fear of being rejected usually leads to them being rejected. Their fear of being indefinitely ignored usually leads to them being ignored indefinitely. Define ‘irony.’ THE THREE TYPES OF MEN WHO EXHIBIT MODE THREE BEHAVIOR I tend to place men who regularly exhibit Mode Three Behavior with women into three sub-categories: • Men who I refer to as ‘Mode Three Timids ’ • Men who I refer to as ‘Mode Three Targets ’ • Men who I refer to as ‘Mode Three Liars, Cheaters, & Manipulators ’ These three types of men have one common denominator between them: None of them have the confidence or courage to express their true romantic and/or sexual desires, interests, and intentions to a woman in an upfront, specific, straightforwardly honest manner during their first or second conversation with a woman. What separates the three types of men is the way they go about hiding the truth from women.

MODE THREE TIMIDS There are some men in society that do not possess enough confidence to even approach a woman and say something as simple as, “Hello. My name is Mark. And your name is?” When these men attend parties or social events, they just remain seated or they remain standing against the wall … never making an attempt to approach even one woman and initiate a conversation with her. I refer to this type of man as a Mode Three Timid . A man who is a Mode Three Timid has a deeply profound fear of being rejected by women and/or publicly humiliated by women. This man’s social skills and verbal communication skills are far below average. This is a man who is terrified to attempt to engage a woman in twenty or thirty minutes of flattering and entertaining ‘small talk’ or ‘chitchat.’ In my experience, I have found that the vast majority of men who fall into this category suffer from extremely low selfesteem and a boat load of egotistical insecurities. These men tend to view themselves as ‘losers,’ which is very unfortunate for them. Once again, the biggest irony about men who exhibit Mode Three Behavior with women is that these men avoid approaching women and initiating a conversation with women because they are afraid that they will ultimately be denied access to a woman’s attention and companionship, but the reality is, THEY CURRENTLY DO NOT HAVE ACCESS TO THAT WOMAN’S ATTENTION AND COMPANSIONHIP. Put another way, how can you be ‘denied’ something that you currently do not have in your possession yet? This is like being afraid to give someone your drinking glass for fear that they will pour the water out of your drinking glass … but then you realize that you had NO WATER IN THE DRINKING GLASS IN THE FIRST PLACE. So how can anyone pour any water out of the glass?

Many men who fall into this category did not have a father with any backbone to teach them proper social skills, nor did they have a caring big brother to help them out. I actually feel sorry for men who fall into this category. No less than approximately fifteen percent of my dating coaching clients are men who are Mode Three Timids. The good news is, I have helped many of these men overcome their invalid fears and petty insecurities and improve their interpersonal communication skills with women of interest. MODE THREE TARGETS The men who fall into the category of a Mode Three Target are somewhat similar to a man who exhibits Mode Two Behavior with women, with the major difference being that they are much more pretentious and much more afraid of letting women know what their true desires, interests, and intentions are. A man who exhibits Mode Two Behavior will engage a woman in a high degree of flattering and entertaining ‘small talk’ and ‘chitchat,’ but at least this man will EVENTUALLY let a woman know of his romantic and/or sexual desires, interests, and intentions AT SOME POINT … even if his manner of verbal expression might be very vague, ambiguous, and ‘beat-around-the-bush’ at times (i.e., indirect). The type of man who is a Mode Three Target has at least one advantage over the type of man who is a Mode Three Timid due to the fact that the Mode Three Target possesses enough confidence to at least approach a woman and initiate a conversation with her. The problem with the Mode Three Target is that he just never gets around to expressing to the woman why he REALLY desires to share her company in the short-run or the long-run.

A man who is a Mode Three Target will engage in flattering and entertaining ‘small talk’ and ‘chitchat’ with women for hours, days, weeks, or even months without ever developing the confidence and courage to verbally communicate his real reasons for socially interacting with this woman (which is to eventually have sex with her). To make matters worse, most men who are Mode Three Target types tend to be very boastful as well as a bit pretentious and superficial . For example, men who are Mode Three Targets tend to spend most of their conversations with women discussing their academic achievements, their career achievements, their monetary achievements, and anything else about themselves that they believe will leave women ‘impressed’ by them. These men will discuss what type of expensive automobile they drive, what type of expensive house they reside in, and how much money they earn per month or per year. A man who is a Mode Three Target is hoping that every woman who he chooses to socialize with will become so impressed with his level of education and his degree of career success and financial success that the woman will not be able to resist offering her romantic and sexual companionship to him over a period of days or weeks. Like Mode Three Timid types, Mode Three Target types are also dreadfully afraid of being rejected by women and they are deeply afraid of being completely and indefinitely ignored by a woman who they find to be very physically attractive and sexually appealing. Most men who fall into the category of a Mode Three Target tend to be those who believe that wealth, fame, social status, and material possessions are the key factors that make a man highly desirable to women. Consequently, all those things lead to a high degree of egotistical insecurities when those

factors suddenly fade away. For example, if a man is very confident when conversing with women while he is earning $750,000 (USD) per year, how confident will that same man be if he suffers a bankruptcy and becomes broke and unemployed? If a man behaves in a highly self-assured manner with women when he is driving a Lamborghini Centenario or a Bugatti Chiron , how will this same man behave toward women if he is forced to drive a Nissan Versa or a Hyundai Elantra ? With a man who is a Mode Three Target, most of his sense of confidence and self-esteem comes from what he has achieved, what he has accomplished, how much money he earns, and how many material possessions he owns. None of his confidence or self-esteem comes from his intrinsic attributes or his intangible qualities, such as his intelligence, his sense of charisma and humor, or his overall ability to connect with women of interest. When men in this category lose their jobs or even worse, lose their wealth and material possessions, they usually become extremely depressed and incredibly egotistically insecure. I have helped many men in this category realize that they cannot base their confidence or self-esteem on money and material items. Money and material possessions can many times disappear out of man’s life without warning. MODE THREE LIARS, CHEATERS, & MANIPULATORS There are some men who do not simply keep their desires, interests, and intentions to themselves, but rather, these men instead blatantly lie to women about their desires and interests, or similarly, they mislead women into believing that they have one set of desires and interests, when in reality they have a totally different set of desires and interests.

One example of a man in this category would be a man who is only looking to engage in one or more episodes of short-term non-monogamous ‘casual’ sex with women, but when he is in conversation with women, this man will intentionally mislead women into believing that he is open to being that woman’s next long-term monogamous lover or future husband. This is a prime example of a Mode Three Liar . Another example would be a man who is married, engaged to be married, or otherwise romantically involved with a woman in what is supposed to be a strictly monogamous relationship, yet, anytime he meets a new female acquaintance, he gives her the dishonest and misleading impression that he is very much single, unattached, and free to date multiple women. This type of man is a Mode Three Cheater (or if married, a Mode Three Adulterer ). FUNCLUBBING If there is one term I use that my long-time fans, followers, and supporters are familiar with, it is the term, ‘FunClubbing.’ This is the number one tactic of the type of man who I refer to as a Mode Three Manipulator . To ‘FunClub’ with women means that you are temporarily or indefinitely ‘pretending’ to be totally content with a purely platonic ‘friendship’ with a woman for a period of weeks, months, or even years, but deep down, you would much prefer to be interacting with this woman in a manner that is more romantic or strictly sexual (think about that fictional scenario I described at the beginning of this chapter that involved the woman named ‘Laura’; that situation was representative of a man ‘FunClubbing’ with a woman) . I have had so many of my dating coaching clients over the years confess to me that have been very guilty of FunClubbing with dozens of women. I myself have even been guilty of FunClubbing with a few women while I was in college and

even occasionally after college. There is never a ‘bright side’ to FunClubbing with women in the long run. There are simply no long-term advantages or benefits to FunClubbing, other than maybe temporarily protecting your ego from the ‘sting’ of abrupt rejection and the disappointment of being completely and indefinitely ignored by a woman of interest. Not only have some men been guilty of FunClubbing with women for a few weeks or a few months, I have heard stories of men FunClubbing with women for five years, eight years, ten years, or longer. The number one excuse I always hear is, “Well, I thought at some point, the woman would invite me to have sex with her at least once or twice. But my ‘lucky day’ never materialized.” FunClubbing with women only results in anger, bitterness, frustration, and resentment in the long-run. Trust me when I say this. There are no exceptions. Even in the one-percent chance that you end up exchanging orgasms with a woman who you were previously guilty of FunClubbing with for weeks, months or years, examine how much time (and possibly time and money) you had to invest in this woman while waiting for your ‘lucky day?’ For a guy like me, it is not worth it. No woman who is genuinely interested in allowing a man to engage in sexual activities with her is going to make that man wait more than six months or more than a year before she allows him to engage in sex with her unless she is a virgin who is deeply religious. MEN WHO EXHIBIT MODE THREE BEHAVIOR CAN BE EASILY AND FREQUENTLY MANIPULATED BY WOMEN Remember in the previous chapter when I said that men who regularly exhibit Mode Two Behavior can be easily taken advantage of by a woman who is a ‘Manipulative Timewaster’

type? Well, multiply that times TEN for men who regularly exhibit the behavior of a Mode Three Timid, a Mode Three Target, and for the most part, a Mode Three Liar, Cheater / Adulterer, & Manipulator. The primary reason why men who exhibit Mode Three Behavior can be so easily manipulated is because THEY ARE ATTEMPTING TO MANIPULATE WOMEN THEMSELVES . Like I said in Chapter Two: MANIPULATION IS ALWAYS A TWO-WAY STREET . The more you attempt to manipulate someone, the more you open yourself up to BE MANIPULATED by that same person . It is absolutely inevitable that when a man regularly exhibits Mode Three Behavior, he will soon transition into what I refer to as ‘The Mode Four Zone’ of anger, frustration, misogynistic bitterness, and eternal resentment toward women. I can almost guarantee it. Right now, I’m going to take the time to address a common misperception of Modo One Behavior. There have been some women, who have read my original manuscript, that made the comment that “Alan, it sounds as if you are totally against the idea of men and women remaining nothing more than platonic friends with each other.” NOT TRUE . I have nothing against a man maintaining a platonic relationship with a woman, if that is his genuine desire and that desire is mutually reciprocated by the woman. I am against men PRETENDING to be content with nothing more than a purely platonic relationship with a woman when they know deep down that they want a series of interactions with a woman that are more romantic and/or sexual in nature . Like I already stated, even though I have some major criticisms of Mode Four Behavior (which I will discuss in the very next chapter), I actually believe that exhibiting Mode

Three Behavior is just as bad if not WORSE than exhibiting Mode Four Behavior. When a man exhibits Mode Three Behavior with women, everything about his behavior and verbal communication with women is cowardly, dishonest, disingenuous, misleading and manipulative. Everything. This man is a VERBAL COWARD. HOW INVALID BELIEFS LEAD TO EGOTISTICAL INSECURITIES The biggest obstacle that Mode Three men must overcome is their invalid beliefs and fears, and their myriad of egotistical insecurities . What is it that causes a man to develop an egotistical insecurity? I would say the starting point, or core, of all egotistical insecurities is invalid beliefs and fears and/or false assumptions . More specifically, you have a misconception about what is desirable to women, and what is not. First of all though, what is an insecurity? An egotistical insecurity is a perception within your own mind that an attribute or characteristic you possess is not quite “up to par,” so to speak. For example, if it is your belief that all women are only attracted to men who are six feet tall or taller, and you happen to be five feet and seven inches tall, then you are going to feel insecure anytime you are in the company of men who are taller than you. If it is your belief that all women are only attracted to men with a twelve-inch penis, and your penis measures no longer than seven inches, then anytime you are in the company of men who you assume have a longer (and thicker) penis than you, you are going to feel insecure. The key thing to remember is that all egotistical insecurities begin, and end, in your own mind . Now if a woman specifically informs you of her particular tastes and preferences in men, all you can do is accept them, and if you do not meet her standards, move on to the next woman. If a

woman says to you, “I am only attracted to men who drive expensive sports automobiles,” and you happen to be driving an old inexpensive automobile with four doors, then what can you do? The reality is, most men make false assumptions about what they believe women find desirable in men. Never assume that a woman considers a physical or non-physical attribute that you may possess to be undesirable. Anytime you constantly find yourself comparing what you have to offer to women, with what other men have to offer to women, you are setting yourself up to develop several egotistical insecurities. This is why you should never base your sense of self-confidence and self-esteem on one specific thing. For example, if 90% of your self-esteem is based on your looks, guess what’s going to happen if you find yourself in the company of another man who you perceive to be more handsome than you? You are going to feel very egotistically insecure . Same thing goes for your level of wealth, your sense of humor, your level of education, your degree of career success, and so on and so on. Your confidence and selfesteem should come from your “total package.” Every attribute and quality about you combined should be the basis for your sense of confidence and self-esteem, and never just one specific attribute or characteristic about yourself. RECAP • Typically, the primary men who tend to regularly exhibit Mode Three Behavior with women are those men who are deeply afraid of being abruptly and straightforwardly rejected by women, and these men are very afraid of women denying them access to their attention and their social companionship • There are no real advantages of benefits to exhibiting Mode Three Behavior with women on a regular basis other than the possibility that a man may temporarily protect his (fragile and sensitive) ego

from the ‘sting’ of abrupt rejection and the feeling of dejection that happens after a woman decides to completely and indefinitely ignore him • When a man exhibits Mode Three with women, he tends to hide, deny, or camouflage his true thoughts, desires, interests, and intentions from women. This type of man never, ever wants women to know what he is REALLY thinking and why he REALLY wants to share their company • There are three sub-categories of Mode Three Behavior: Mode Three Timids, Mode Three Targets, and Mode Three Liars, Cheaters, & Manipulators. Mode Three Timids are those men who avoid approaching women and avoid initiating a conversation with women altogether. Mode Three Targets are those men who possess enough confidence and social skills to approach women and initiate a conversation with them, but these men will spend 9099% of their conversation with a woman attempting to ‘impress’ her with their accomplishments, their achievements, their career success and monetary success, and their material possessions. Mode Three Liars are single men who give women the misleading impression that they are interested in a long-term monogamous sexual relationship, but in reality, these men are only interested in short-term and/or nonmonogamous ‘casual’ sex. Mode Three Cheaters are men who are married, engaged to be married, or otherwise romantically involved with a woman who give new female acquaintances the misleading impression that they are single, unattached, and free to date. Mode Three Manipulators are men who engage in behavior known as ‘FunClubbing,’ which is when a man indefinitely ‘pretends’ to be content with maintaining nothing more than a purely platonic friendship with a woman, when in reality, he really wants a romantic relationship with the woman or a strictly sexual relationship with the woman

• Most men who regularly exhibit Mode Three Behavior are mentally full of a high degree of invalid fears, invalid beliefs and attitudes, egotistical insecurities, and several false assumptions about women and their behavior • Men who exhibit Mode Three Behavior are dishonest, disingenuous, misleading and manipulative. These men are ‘verbal cowards’ with women. It is almost inevitable that a man who exhibits Mode Three Behavior will transition into exhibiting Mode Four Behavior at some point in the near or distant future Mode Three Behavior should be avoided as much as possible. In the long-run, women do not respect men who regularly exhibit Mode Three Behavior . If you are a man who is a Mode Three Timid … take inventory of what you have to offer, and GROW SOME BALLS . If you are a man who is a Mode Three Target , stop attempting to impress women with your accomplishments, your achievements, and your wealth and material possessions. If you a man who is Mode Three Liar, Cheater / Adulterer, & Manipulator, just remember: You cannot hide the truth forever . Someday, all of your so-called ‘secrets’ will be revealed. “Alan, what if I have exhibited Mode Two Behavior with women, and had no success with them … and I also exhibited Mode Two Behavior with women, and experienced very little if any success. I now feel very angry, bitter, frustrated, and hateful toward women. I almost have this on-going rage toward women in general. Why am I feeling this way?” If the above question popped into your head, this means you are experiencing residence in ‘The Mode Four Zone.’ Uh oh .

Before you proceed to Chapter Five, please honestly answer the following questions: 1) What characteristic about yourself makes you feel the most confident and egotistically secure? (e.g., your looks, your intelligence, your career status, etc.) On the flip side, what characteristic do you possess that you perceive as being undesirable to women that makes you feel the least confident and the most egotistically insecure?? Did you assume this, or did women specifically tell you that this attribute or characteristic was undesirable to them?? 2) Think of one or more women from your past that you “pretended” to have nothing more than a purely platonic interest in, but deep down, you had more of a romantic and/or sexual interest in them. What most prevented you from revealing your true feelings? 3) How many times have you conversed with a woman, and primarily emphasized your educational and career accomplishments and/or your financial success and material possessions in order to ‘impress’ a woman and hopefully increase that woman’s interest in sharing your company in a romantic or strictly sexual manner? Why did you feel it was necessary to do this?? Once you answer these three questions, you are free to proceed to Chapter Five . Continue reading my friend.

CHAPTER FIVE Mode FOUR Behavior: The Men Who Become Bitter and Hateful Toward Women Whenever They

Become Involuntarily Celibate “Look at the weaknesses of others with compassion, not accusation. It is not what they are NOT doing or SHOULD BE doing that is the issue. The issue is YOUR OWN CHOSEN RESPONSE TO THE SITUATION and what YOU should be doing. If you start to think the problem is out of your control, stop yourself. That thought is the problem itself.” Dr. Stephen R. Covey , author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

Mode Four Behavior . I lightheartedly refer to this state of mind among men as ‘The Mode Four Zone.’ Anytime you develop a high degree of bitterness toward women, anger toward women, resentment toward women, and even outright hatred toward the female gender as a group, this means you have entered ‘The Mode Four Zone.’ No man begins in ‘The Mode Four Zone.’ All men transition to ‘The Mode Four Zone.’ Mode Four Behavior is usually either a ‘temporary pit stop’ for men (usually men who regularly exhibit Mode Two Behavior with women) or it becomes a place of permanent residence (usually men who previously exhibited some form of Mode Three Behavior with women regularly). Men who regularly exhibit Mode Two Behavior with women will have a strong tendency to vacillate back-and-forth between Mode Two Behavior and Mode Four Behavior. I myself used to do this quite frequently when I was between the ages of 18 and 27, and even occasionally after my 28th birthday. If I exhibited Mode Two Behavior with a woman of interest, and that woman ended up enthusiastically reciprocating my romantic and/or sexual desires, interests, and intentions … then of course, I was a happy man. If I exhibited Mode Two Behavior with a woman of interest, and that particular woman failed to reciprocate my desires and interests – but I felt as though this woman rejected me in a ‘polite and respectful’ manner – then I may have concluded the

conversation with the woman feeling disappointed, but I did not experience any feelings of anger or bitterness toward the woman. On the other hand, if I exhibited Mode Two Behavior with a woman … and not only did that woman eventually reject me, but I felt that her rejection of my desires and interests was ‘unnecessarily harsh’ or mean-spirited, then I would almost immediately transition into ‘The Mode Four Zone.’ I would develop very angry, bitter, and resentful emotions toward that woman. Many times, I would express angry verbal outbursts at the woman. Again, when a man regularly exhibits Mode Two Behavior with women, he will rarely maintain a Mode Four state of mind indefinitely. He might enter ‘The Mode Four Zone’ for a few minutes, a few hours, a few days, or maybe even a week or two. Then, that man will usually bounce back to normal and begin exhibiting Mode Two Behavior with women once again. The worst scenarios usually happen with those men who regularly exhibit some form of Mode Three Behavior. WHEN A MODE THREE TIMID TRANSTIONS INTO THE MODE FOUR ZONE As you read in Chapter Four, a Mode Three Timid is a man that is absolutely terrified of approaching a woman of interest and initiating a conversation with her. If a man begins being a Mode Three Timid with women at say, age 14, and nothing happens in his life that has the potential to motivate some sort of change or improvement in his behavior by the time he reaches the age of say 30 or 35, then this man is going to be in trouble mentally, egotistically, and emotionally.

At some point, this man is going to mature and slowly transition into becoming what is known as a bitter misogynist . A misogynist is a man (or woman) who has a passionate hatred for the entire female gender. A similar term is a misandrist . A misandrist is a woman (or man) who has a passionate hatred for the entire male gender. Often, I have observed some women refer to men who are incorrigible womanizers as ‘misogynists.’ Or these women will refer to any man who has something negative or critical to say about women as a ‘misogynist.’ In these instances, the term ‘misogynist’ is usually being used invalidly and inappropriately. Fact : Rarely if ever will a man who has a relatively easy time motivating women to agree to have sex with him transition into becoming a misogynist. I have known some men who were promiscuous womanizers who might have been a ‘sexist’ (i.e., a man who has a professional prejudice toward the idea of women being hired for a specific job instead of a man being hired instead for that same job) and I have also known some men who were promiscuous womanizers who might have been a ‘chauvinist’ (i.e., a man who believes that women should fulfill certain specific roles in a marriage or a romantic relationship while men should fulfill other roles; For example, a man who believes women should remain at home and cook, clean, and nurture children while men should be the one who works and acts as the financial provider of the relationship) . I have never in my entire adult life met a man who was popular with women both romantically and sexually who was a genuine misogynist. If a man has multiple women offering to please him sexually and satisfy all of his sexual desires and fantasies, why would that man have any ‘hatred’ for women? That does not even make logical sense. The men who eventually transition into becoming bitter, angry misogynists are usually men who have consistently had their

romantic and/or sexual desires and interests rejected by women … or worse, they have always had the women who they were most interested in engaging in sexual activities with either a) completely and indefinitely ignore them or b) treat them as nothing more than male platonic friends. Men who are Mode Three Timids experience this scenario very frequently. WHEN A MODE THREE TARGET TRANSTIONS INTO THE MODE FOUR ZONE As I described in the previous chapter, a man who is a Mode Three Target can generally be described as a man who is at the ‘halfway point’ between a Mode Two verbal communicator and a Mode Three Timid . In the short-term, most men who regularly exhibit the behavior of a Mode Three Target will seem fine and content. This is because, on the positive end, most men who are Mode Three Targets will be receiving an above average amount of attention from the women who they are socializing with. On the negative end, the problem comes into play when these men slowly but surely realize over a lengthy period of time that 90-99% of the attention that they have been receiving from women was strictly platonic attention . Fact : No (heterosexual) man on Planet Earth wants to receive only platonic attention from women. Most men could care less about receiving strictly platonic attention from women. Men want either romantic attention and companionship (if this is a woman that they want to potentially marry or at least be involved in a long-term relationship with) or strictly sexual attention and companionship from women (if this is a woman that the man is just interested in engaging in one or more episodes of short-term and/or non-monogamous sex

with). Speaking for myself, gaining the opportunity to share a woman’s company in a purely platonic manner does nothing for me . Absolutely nothing. The only exception for me would be if the woman is some sort of business collaborator or business colleague of mine. Other than that, I have absolutely no use for platonic female friends. I am only interested in sharing the company of women either a) for the sole and specific purpose of engaging in sex with her, or b) for a relationship that combines both sexual interactions and nonsexual interactions with the woman (i.e., what I refer to as a long-term ‘romantic’ relationship) . At some point in their lives, men who regularly exhibit the behavior of a Mode Three Target are going to reach what I refer to as ‘an egotistical breaking point.’ One day, they are just going to ‘snap.’ There have been many stories in the U.S. news that have described instances where a man ‘seemed normal’ for many years, and then just one day out of the blue, that man murdered two or more women for no apparent reason. I can almost guarantee you that the men who committed these types of crimes and murders were men who were previously Mode Three Target types. Very few women are genuinely attracted to Mode Three Target types. These men are usually exploited by women who are Manipulative Timewaster types who want to use these men for their financial resources and their material possessions. WHEN A MODE THREE LIAR, CHEATER, or MANIPULATOR TRANSTIONS INTO THE MODE FOUR ZONE Have you ever gambled? Have you ever initiated a calculated risk that you were confident would pay off for you in the (near) future? If so, how do you feel when your gamble fails? How do you feel when you miscalculated that risk of yours,

and you ended up experiencing more detriments than benefits? This is what usually happens with men who are Mode Three Liars , Cheaters , and Manipulators . What these men do is ‘gamble’ with their time, their money, and/or their public image and reputation, and when the gamble fails, they feel angry, bitter. frustrated, and miserable. Example #1 : A man spends months ‘pretending’ to be totally content with being a woman’s male platonic friend indefinitely, because he has the confident expectation that this woman is going to – on one ‘lucky day’ in the future – offer him the opportunity to exchange orgasms with her. When that ‘lucky day’ never ever materializes, this Mode Three Manipulator first becomes disappointed, then later, becomes outright angry and bitter. ALL THAT TIME WASTED . Example #2 : A married man gives a woman the misleading impression that he is single, unattached, and available to date whoever he wants to, but after investing both time and money in pursuit of this woman’s sexual companionship, this woman finally confesses that she is a confirmed lesbian. To make matter worse, this woman finds out that the man is married and threatens to share information about his pursuit of her with the man’s wife. Later, this man who is a Mode Three Cheater / Adulterer finds himself seething with anger, bitterness, regret, and resentment toward the lesbian woman. ALL THAT TIME and MONEY WASTED . Example #3 : A single man who is a prolific, but dishonest womanizer flirts with five women that he recently became acquainted with over a period of seven weeks. In each flirtatious conversation with each of the five women, he says to each one, “If you agree to have sex with me … I will treat you like the most special woman on earth. You will be my exclusive lover.” What this man did not realize is that two of the five women are cousins to each other, and all five women are acquainted with each other and are good friends with each

other. Once all five women share information with each other about this man’s conversations with each woman, they end up exposing him for the Mode Three Liar that he is. Now, this man has a poor reputation among women in his city and in his social circle of friends and acquaintances, and all of the new female acquaintances that he interacts with choose to reject his sexual desires and interests. Now this man finds himself doing nothing but masturbating while watching adult pornography films while feeling sexually frustrated and bitter. ALL THAT DISHONESTY EXPRESSED TO THESE WOMEN FOR NO BENEFIT GAINED . WHY DOES ANGER & FRUSTRATION CAUSE MODE FOUR BEHAVIOR? When a man chooses to exhibit Mode Four Behavior towards a woman, he fools himself into believing that he has been ‘disrespected’ and ‘mistreated’ by women, and soon concludes that “all women are bitches!” and “all women are no-good, scandalous, untrustworthy whores!” Realistically, the majority of your anger and frustration is NOT actually directed at the women from your past. Deep down, subconsciously, that anger and frustration is directed at YOURSELF . The reality check : When a man transitions from Mode Two Behavior to Mode Four Behavior, or a man transitions from Mode Three Behavior to Mode Four Behavior, the primary basis for his anger, frustration and bitterness comes from the fact that HE INVESTED A SIGNIFICANT AMOUNT OF TIME – or TIME and MONEY – AND FAILED TO RECEIVE THE REACTION AND RESPONSE THAT HE STRONGLY DESIRED FROM THE WOMEN HE WAS PURSUING . The secondary basis for this man’s anger, bitterness and frustration is that he realizes deep down that his behavior was NOT COURAGEOUS, HONEST or AUTHENTIC. Both men who exhibit Mode Two Behavior and men who exhibit Mode Three Behavior are ever completely honest and genuine with women regarding their true romantic and/or sexual

desires, interests and intentions. Being dishonest and insincere with women is fine if you ultimately get what you want from women (sex), but in those instances that you fail to experience the type of interaction that you really wanted with a woman, it is going to frustrate you that you did not have the confidence and courage to express your desires to women in a bold, upfront, forthright manner. RECAP All men who regularly exhibit Mode Two Behavior with women and men who regularly exhibit Mode Three Behavior with women at some point are going to either temporarily or permanently transition to exhibiting Mode Four Behavior otherwise known as ‘The Mode Four Zone.’ Most men who exhibit Mode Two Behavior with women will tend to vacillate backand-forth between Mode Two Behavior and Mode Four Behavior regularly. Most men who regularly exhibit some form of Mode Three Behavior with women will many times transition into ‘The Mode Four Zone’ and remain their indefinitely

Men who exhibit Mode Two Behavior with women usually transition into ‘The Mode Four Zone’ when they feel that a woman is harshly criticizing them and their behavior in an invalid or unfair manner, or assigning disparaging labels to them (e.g., “You are a boring wimp!”); Men who are Mode Three Timids usually transition into ‘The Mode Four Zone’ after years and decades of being completely ignored by women who they find physically attractive and sexually appealing; Men who are Mode Three Targets usually transition into ‘The Mode Four Zone’ after they realize that a woman has exploited them for their financial resources and material possessions, or when a woman indefinitely treats them like nothing more

than a purely platonic friend; And finally, men who are Mode Three Liars, Cheaters, & Manipulators usually transition into ‘The Mode Four Zone’ after investing a significant amount of time and/or money pursuing a woman’s sexual companionship only to be rejected at some point in the future

Sometimes, once men enter into a Mode Four state of mind, they may entertain the thought of physically assaulting women, raping women, torturing women, or even murdering women. At minimum, a man who is in a Mode Four state of mind wants to regularly insult and antagonize women. Men who regularly exhibit Mode Four Behavior with women are generally referred to as ‘misogynists.’ A misogynist is a man (or sometimes a woman) who has developed a passionate hatred for the entire gender of women.

When men are in ‘The Mode Four Zone,’ they many times misdirect their anger and frustration toward women, but in reality, they are actually angry at themselves. They are angry and frustrated that they did not have the confidence and courage to verbally communicate their honest thoughts, desires, interests, and intentions to women in a candid and forthright manner, and they are also angry and frustrated that they invested a high degree of time and/or money pursuing a woman’s attention and companionship, only to be rejected and ignored by that woman later In many ways, you can describe Mode Four Behavior as “after-the-fact version” of Modo One Behavior. I often refer to Mode Four Behavior as ‘the evil twin’ of Mode One Behavior. Once a woman has already criticized you … and she has already insulted you and expressed that she does not

care for you or your behavior … and she has already rejected you … and finally, she has already made the decision to deny you access to her attention and companionship … THEN … all the sudden you develop the confidence and courage to let this woman know WHAT IS REALLY ONN YOUR MIND. That is essentially what an ‘angry (verbal) outburst’ directed at someone really represents. When you start yelling at people, loudly insulting them, and hurling profane and disrespectful comments their way, what you are really doing is EXPRESSING FRUSTRATION that you were not completely candid and forthright with this person to begin with. YOU INITIALLY KEPT MANY OF YOUR TRUE THOUGHTS AND DESIRES TO YOURSELF, and you decide later to UNLEASH YOUR REAL THOUGHTS and CRITISMS WITH ANGRY EMOTIONS. So, at this point, you now probably want me to proceed to the chapter where I inform you that Mode One Behavior is the ideal behavior for all men to exhibit with women. You want me to explain to you that if you exhibit Mode One Behavior with women, that each woman you initiate a conversation with will enthusiastically, without hesitation, agree to reciprocate all your romantic and/or sexual desires, interests, and intentions. Right? Wrong . The truth is, there are some women who become agitated when a man exhibits Mode One Behavior with them … and there are other women who outright despise and even HATE the entire concept and premise of Mode One Behavior. The women in the former group are referred to as Wholesome Pretenders and the women in the latter group are referred to as Erotic Hypocrites and Manipulative Timewasters . Any man who exhibits Mode One Behavior with women must prepare himself for some degree of lighthearted reluctance and resistance from the Wholesome Pretender types, and he must prepare his ego for harsh criticisms, personal insults, and outright antagonistic behavior from the Erotic Hypocrite types

and Manipulative Timewaster types. But before I discuss these three types of women in Chapter Six, please honestly answer the following questions: 1) What women from your past left you feeling angry, bitter, frustrated, and full of regret and even hatred toward them because you feel like you invested a significant amount of time – or time and money – pursuing these women’s sexual companionship only to have your desires and interests denied and rejected in the long-run? 2) Have you ever entertained thoughts of physically assaulting or punching a woman? Raping a woman? Torturing a woman? Murdering a woman? All because that woman denied you her romantic or strictly sexual companionship, or because you feel that woman unfairly criticized you, disrespected you, or exploited you for your financial resources and material possessions? (Be BRUTALLY HONEST with yourself ) 3) How many times have you initiated a conversation with a woman for the sole and specific purpose of insulting her or antagonizing her? Have you ever been guilty of making comments to women along the lines of, “I hate all women!” or “All women are worthless cunts!!” or “All women are disrespectful bitches!!” or some other similar comment? Why?? Once you answer these three questions, you’re free to proceed to Chapter Six. Continue reading my friend. .

CHAPTER SIX Sexually Duplicitous and Manipulative Women: ‘Wholesome Pretenders’ and ‘Manipulative Timewasters’ “Most women love sex just as much as men do, if not more. Many women are just as sexually uninhibited as many of the kinky men in society. The problem is, men are admired and congratulated when they successfully seduce dozens of women; On the other hand, women are usually criticized, insulted, and labeled as ‘sluts’ or ‘whores’ if they openly confess that they have enjoyed sexual pleasure and satisfaction with someone other than their long-term boyfriend, fiancé, or husband. It is highly unfair, but such is life.” A female friend and classmate of mine from Indiana University in Bloomington, Indiana (USA)

Sex . If men and women were socialized in the exact same manner regarding their attitudes toward sexual relations, our dialogue with each other would probably be a lot more honest, and a lot less manipulative. Men would probably be a lot more honest and straightforward with women regarding their sexual desires and interests, particularly as it relates to their desire for short-term and/or non-monogamous casual sex. The difference in how men and women are socialized as it relates to sex begins with their childhood years or preteen years. If a girl’s father is active in their life, then often, that girl’s father is going to raise her in a very strict manner regarding her desire to engage in sexual activities with boys. A boy’s father or mother does not necessarily raise him in the exact same manner as his sister. Most men and women are very protective over the sexuality of their daughter(s). The vast majority of men who have daughters tend to be sexual hypocrites. Most of these men lust after other men’s mothers, sisters, daughters, and wives … but the last they want

is some other man lusting after their own wife, mother, sister, or daughter. This is laughable. Similarly, many girls’ mothers raise them to believe that if they allow themselves to become promiscuous, they will decrease their chances of capturing the attention of a hardworking, financially self-sufficient, and caring husband. No mother wants her daughter to remain unmarried indefinitely, especially if the mother has never been married or is currently divorced. Consequently, women – from the time they are 9, 10, or 11 up until adulthood – are generally socialized to behave toward men in a sexually conservative (i.e., ‘prudish’) and selfdisciplined manner. Women are usually encouraged to only engage in sexual activities with men within the context of marriage, or at least within the context of a long-term, emotionally profound, strictly monogamous relationship. The problem is, women’s hormonal and instinctive desire for sex is just as strong if not stronger than the average man’s hormonal and instinctive desire for sex. What many people in society make the mistake of doing is they attempt to ‘intellectualize’ men and women’s sexual desires. This is a huge mistake . To do so would be similar to attempting to ‘intellectualize’ the desire for sleep or the desire for food and water. The reality is, when a man or woman begins to feel tired, they are going to usually fall asleep. When a man or woman becomes hungry and thirsty, they will make every effort to consume food and beverages as soon as possible. In other words, the socially brainwashed portion of a man or woman’s mind might say, “I should avoid engaging in sexual activities with a member of the opposite sex until I am married, or at least until I am deeply involved in a long-term exclusively committed relationship,” but the reality is, if a man or woman becomes extremely horny for sex, they are going to

usually proceed to engage in sexual activities with someone. A man does not always need to exhibit Mode One Behavior when in conversation with a woman who is a Reciprocator or a Rejecter , although Mode One Behavior does help men identify each of those two types of women much quicker than when a man exhibits Mode Two Behavior or Mode Three Behavior. These women are never going to engage in ‘manipulative head games’ with men or attempt to waste a man’s time. In my experience, Mode One Behavior is the most needed and the most beneficial when a man is socially interacting with women who are very sexually duplicitous or who are extremely manipulative. These women will display a lot of behavior with men that is dishonest, disingenuous, and misleading. Here are the labels I have for women who are sexually duplicitous and/or extremely manipulative: 1. Wholesome Pretenders a. Erotic Hypocrites 2. Manipulative Timewasters a. Attention Whores i. Cock Teasers b. Financial & Non-Financial ‘Favor Seekers’ I now have two additional books that examine each of these archetypes of women in specific detail. One book is titled, Oooooh … Say it Again: Mastering the Fine Art of Verbal Seduction and Aural Sex . This is my book that thoroughly examines women who are Wholesome Pretender types and Erotic Hypocrite types. The second book is titled The Possibility of Sex: How Naïve and Lustful Men are Manipulated by Women Regularly . This is my book that

thoroughly examines the various types of Manipulative Timewaster types as well as other types of women who usually end up exploiting men and leaving them feeling bitter and resentful toward women in the long-run. In this chapter, I will offer a brief overview of the psychology behind each archetype. WHOLESOME PRETENDERS A Wholesome Pretender [WP] is a woman who has been socially programmed (usually by her mother, step-mother, father, step-father, or some other influential person in her life) to always present herself to men in public as a woman who is prudish (or at least, semi-prudish) as well as a woman who is only willing to engage in sex with men within the context of a long-term monogamous relationship that has the potential to lead directly to marriage. Deep down, these same women maintain a discreet desire to unleash and reveal to certain men that there is an ultra-kinky side to their sexual persona and they also privately hold on to a discriminate desire to confess to certain men that they have no problem engaging in a few episodes of short-term and/or nonmonogamous casual sex. Most men who regularly exhibit Mode Two Behavior and Mode Three Behavior will usually make the mistake of mistaking many Wholesome Pretender types to be a ‘prudish good girl’ type, and consequently, they will never attempt to challenge these women’s sexual sensibilities and disingenuous facades. I was guilty of doing this quite frequently when I was between the ages of 16 and 20. I met many young women who I initially assumed were ‘prudish good girl’ types, only to find out later from male friends and acquaintances that these women had a kinkier side to them and a penchant for engaging in multiple episodes of casual sex with men who knew how to

properly seduce them. The biggest factor that prevents Wholesome Pretender types from being more open with men regarding their true sexual desires and interests is that these women are extremely protective of their public image and reputation. Like many human beings, these women do not like to be publicly criticized, insulted, or ridiculed. These women do not like the idea of disparaging labels being attached to their name such as ‘slut,’ ‘tramp,’ or ‘whore.’ No woman likes for others to pass judgment on her. On this point, I have many harsh criticisms of men who pursue women’s sexual companionship, but then after they engage in sex with women two times, three times, or more, they will turn around and share their sexual conquest with all their male friends and disparage the woman’s name. This type of behavior is uncalled for and extremely unnecessary . There is no need for a man to engage in casual sex with a woman, and then a few days later, tell all his male buddies, “That woman Maria is a slut. I was able to have sex with her less than 48 hours after I met her. She is an easy lay.” I never do this with women . If a woman agrees to engage in short-term and/or non-monogamous casual sex with me, I just appreciate the time I can spend with her sexually, and I do not mention the specific details of my sexual experiences with any of my male friends or acquaintances with the possible exception of one of my closest confidantes. Another factor that contributes to the sexual duplicity of women who are Wholesome Pretender types is that most women have no interest in engaging in casual sex with men who they believe that they can potentially persuade to become their long-term boyfriend or future fiancé and husband at some point in the future. Typically, women will only engage in casual sex with men who they feel are promiscuous and/or polyamorous and will never propose marriage to them.

EROTIC HYPOCRITES An Erotic Hypocrite [EH] is sub-category of the Wholesome Pretender archetype. This is a woman who is far more materialistic, pretentious, spoiled, and usually more verbally antagonistic and temperamental than the average Wholesome Pretender . If a man makes sexual advances to a Wholesome Pretender , he will probably receive some mild or lighthearted resistance, but if that man is verbally smooth and seductive … and he verbally communicates his sexual desires and interests to that woman in a Mode One manner … he is usually going to be successful in seducing that woman without much reluctance or any sort of major verbal confrontation with the woman. On the other hand, women who are Erotic Hypocrite types are much more challenging for men to seduce. An EH is going to harshly criticize a man, insult him, attempt to humiliate and ridicule him in public, and do everything possible to make that man believe that he has an almost zero percent chance of engaging in sexual activities with her, and particularly, one or more episodes of short-term and/or non-monogamous casual sex. The reason why is that women who are Erotic Hypocrite types are looking to capture the attention and companionship of a long-term boyfriend and future husband who is wealthy, highly educated, and extremely successful in his career. A man with a high degree of social status and influence. Consequently, if you are a man that does not fall into that category, her social brainwashing is going to lead her to come very close to just abruptly rejecting your sexual desires and interests in a harsh, mean-spirited manner. When conversing with and socializing with an Erotic Hypocrite type, a man must demonstrate to this woman that he is an extremely confident, erotically dominant Alpha male

who possesses above-average sex skills in the bedroom. Otherwise, an Erotic Hypocrite will transition into becoming a harsh Rejecter in a matter of minutes, if not seconds. Most Wholesome Pretender types do not want to engage in casual sex with a Beta male type, and I would say that this is especially true with women who are Erotic Hypocrite types. The only Beta males that EHs desire to engage in sexual activities with are wealthy, very successful Beta males. In addition to adopting a Mode One verbal communication style with women, in order to successfully seduce Wholesome Pretenders and Erotic Hypocrites , a man must learn how to whisper sexually explicit ‘naughty talk’ into a woman’s (left) ear. I discuss this art form in more detail in my book, Oooooh … Say it Again , and in my One-on-One / Face-to-Face Dating Coaching Sessions. MANIPULATIVE TIMEWASTERS A woman who is a Reciprocator will let a man know immediately and straightforwardly that she has the same romantic and/or sexual desires, interests, and intentions as the man who approached her. A woman who is a Rejecter will let a man know immediately and straightforwardly that she has absolutely no interest in sharing the company of the man who approached her in any sort of romantic and/or sexual manner. A woman who is a Wholesome Pretender (or an Erotic Hypocrite ) will go out of their way to resist their desire to immediately and straightforwardly reciprocate a man’s sexual desires and interests, and instead, they will spend minutes, hours, days, or even weeks pretending as though they are only interested in engaging in sex with a man within the contest of marriage or within the context of a long-term, emotionally profound monogamous romantic relationship.

Finally, there is another type of woman who is a ‘pretender’ in her own right. This is a woman who if a man approaches her, initiates a conversation with her, and expresses an interest in engaging in sexual activities with her, this woman will spend days, weeks, months, even years giving this man the very misleading impression that she is genuinely interested in sharing his company in a romantic or strictly sexual manner. In reality, this woman knows beginning with the very first conversation with this man that she has absolutely no interest in sharing his company in any manner other than a purely platonic manner. This is the woman I refer to as the Manipulative Timewaster type. These women are extremely savvy and manipulative. These women know how to feign romantic or sexual interest in a man incredibly well. These women should win some sort of Emmy Award or Academy (Oscar) Award for their acting performances with men. These women are that good. There are at least 2-3 specific types of Manipulative Timewasters: • Attention Whores • Cock Teasers • Financial & Non-Financial ‘Favor Seekers’ I will now offer a brief description of each. ATTENTION WHORES Generally speaking, if there is one major difference between men and women it is that women place a much higher value on men’s non-physical, non-sexual, purely platonic attention and companionship than men do with women. For the most part, if a man knows that he is totally incapable of persuading a woman to engage in sexual activities with him, he is going to leave that woman alone and move on to pursuing a new female

acquaintance to become his next potential sexual companion. Most women know this. Particularly women who are extremely manipulative . These women know that the best way to secure a man’s platonic attention and companionship is to give him the misleading impression that she may be open to engaging in sexual activities with him ‘at some point in the near or distant future.’ This is what causes a woman to become what many men refer to as an Attention Whore . Women who are Attention Whores absolutely love and adore men who are willing to flatter their egos and offer a muchneeded boost to their self-esteem on a regular or semi-regular basis. They also love men who are willing to engage in lengthy episodes of enjoyable and entertaining ‘fluff talk,’ ‘chitchat,’ and ‘small talk’ with them. In addition, they love men who are willing to provide them with an emotionally empathetic ‘listening ear’ when they are bored, depressed, frustrated and/or lonely. Most women who are Attention Whores can go much longer without a man’s sexual attention and companionship than they can go without a man’s non-sexual / purely platonic attention and companionship. I once met a woman who told me that she could not go more than approximately 48 hours without a man’s platonic attention and companionship. She said if she was forced to go longer than that, she would become grouchy and irritable. This is one of the primary reasons why many women want to find a man to propose marriage to them before they reach the age of 35 or 40. Because once a woman reaches of the age of forty or older, her physical attractiveness is going to begin to fade, and her level of sex appeal is going to begin to diminish. Not only do older women usually have a much more challenging time attracting men to become their purely platonic friends, but many women even have a difficult time attracting casual sex companions when they reach the age of

forty and older. Among other potential benefits for a woman, marriage guarantees a woman that she will have at least one man in her life that will provide her with dependable non-sexual attention and companionship (in addition to a man’s sexual attention and companionship when she desires it) for an indefinite period. This is why most women prefer long-term romantic relationships with men over casual sex relationships. If there is one major detriment for women who frequently engage in casual sex with men (other than potentially being labeled a ‘slut’ or a ‘whore’) is that these women usually gain access to a man’s sexual attention and companionship only , but rarely do these women gain the opportunity to spend a significant amount of time with their casual sex companions when sex is not involved. COCK TEASERS A woman who is a Cock Teaser is a woman who is a more highly sexualized and more aggressively flirtatious version of an Attention Whore. Women who are normal Attention Whore types are usually just very friendly with men, and they may flirt with men in a very subtle manner. Cock Teasers on the other hand are many times very overtly sexual with men. For example, a woman who is a Cock Teaser may allow men to fondle her breasts or caress her buttocks or even allow men to tongue-kiss them regularly. But these same women will never offer to perform oral sex on a man’s erect penis or allow a man to penetrate their anus or vagina with his erect penis. These women gain a high degree of egotistical satisfaction from knowing that men find them beautiful and sexually desirable and irresistible. I always warn women who are Cock Teaser types that they are ‘playing with fire’ when interacting with men who are very sexually aggressive or may be suffering from mental and emotional problems. Some men are likely to rape, date-rape, or sexually assault a woman who is a Cock Teaser type.

Consequently, women need to be very careful with men when they choose to exhibit sexually flirtatious behavior with them if they do not have any genuine intentions of allowing those men to engage in sexual activities with them. FINANCIAL & NON-FINANCIAL ‘FAVOR SEEKERS’ Some manipulative women are not really interested in accumulating a high number of purely platonic male friends for the sake of being flattered or entertained, or for the sake of having many different men act as an ‘empathetic listening ear’ when they want to vent about their disappointments, frustrations, and problems. Instead, some women’s primary objective for behaving like a Manipulative Timewaster type is to recruit men to act as shortterm or temporary ‘Sugar Daddies’ and/or ‘Helpful Handymen.’ Some women are addicted to the idea of one or more men offering to pay for their meals, offering to help them pay their living expenses and financial debts, and offering to give them materialistic gifts on their birthday or a holiday, such as Christmas or Valentine’s Day. When a woman of this nature seeks to engage in this type of behavior with one man, and one man only over the course of a long-term relationship, this woman is commonly referred to as a Gold Digger . A Gold Digger will usually engage in sexual activities with a man regularly, semi-regularly, or at least occasionally to keep the financially generous man in her life motivated to provide her with financial assistance, support, and security. Gold Digger types are always looking to take advantage of the financial generosity of a wealthy man in order to improve and upgrade their quality of life. When a woman of this nature seeks to engage in this type of behavior with multiple men for a short, designated period of

days, weeks, or months, I more so refer to this type of woman as a Financial Favor Seeker . A Financial Favor Seeker will never ever agree to engage in sexual activities with a man. She will indefinitely give a man the misleading impression that she is interested in engaging in sexual activities with him, but in reality, she has no genuine intentions of ever doing so. For women who are wealthy, or at least financially selfsufficient, their interest is not in finding a temporary Sugar Daddy. These women are more interested in men providing them with non-financial related favors . These women are more interested in having two or more men behave as ‘Helpful Handymen’ for them whenever they need something fixed, moved, lifted, put together, or problem solved. I refer to this type of woman as a Non-Financial Favor Seeker . For example, a woman might need a man to examine her automobile for possible engine problems or transmission problems. A woman might need two or three male friends to help her move into a new house or a new apartment. A woman might need someone to fix her vacuum cleaner or personal computer. The list of potential favors goes on. In blunt terms, women who are Financial & Non-Financial Favor Seekers are predators. They prey on naïve and unsuspecting men for their financial resources, material possessions, and accommodating and helpful tendencies. I personally despise women who are Financial & NonFinancial Favor Seekers . To a slightly lesser degree, I also have a major disdain toward women who are Attention Whores and Cock Teasers . CONGRUENT vs. INCONGRUENT BEHAVIOR Whenever I work with male clients of mine in my One-on-One / Face-to-Face Dating Coaching Sessions, one of the things I teach men how to do is recognize the difference between congruent behavior and incongruent behavior between a

woman’s words and her non-verbal behavior and body language. When a woman’s body language and non-verbal behavior are in sync with her words, this means that this woman is exhibiting congruent behavior. For example, women who are Reciprocators and Rejecters always tend to exhibit congruent behavior with men. Their body language and non-verbal behavior always supports what they are saying to a man. These women are not attempting to mislead men in any way or engage in any sort of ‘manipulative head games’ with men. When a woman’s words are suggesting one thing, but her body language and non-verbal behavior are suggesting something totally different, this represents that a woman is exhibiting incongruent behavior. For example, women who are Wholesome Pretender types and Manipulative Timewaster types always exhibit incongruent behavior with men. This is because these women are attempting to mislead men and prevent them from knowing what their true desires, interests, and intentions are. Examples : A woman verbally communicates to a man know that she is interested in sharing his company in a sexual manner, and as a result, she begins asking him questions about what he likes to do with women sexually, and she begins revealing to him what some of her sexual preferences are. Furthermore, this woman begins touching on the man’s chest and thighs, and she eventually allows this man to tongue kiss her, fondle her breasts, and use his fingers to caress and massage her clitoris. This would be an example of a woman exhibiting congruent behavior with a man. A woman verbally communicates to a man know that she finds him to be ‘handsome’ and ‘incredibly sexy,’ yet each time this man attempts to tongue-kiss her, she rebuffs each of his attempts. Furthermore, every time that this man attempts to

initiate a sexually explicit conversation with this woman, she begins showing physical signs of feeling ‘uncomfortable,’ and she always switches the subject of conversation to a topic that has nothing to do with sex at all. This would be an example of a woman exhibiting incongruent behavior with a man. A man approaches a woman and attempts to converse with her in a very flirtatious manner. The woman immediately says to the man, “I am married, so sorry … I am not interested in engaging in a conversation with you,” and then this woman simply ends the conversation and walks away from the man. This would be an example of a woman exhibiting congruent behavior with a man. A man approaches a woman, initiates a conversation with her, and within minutes, begins whispering into the woman’s left ear that he would like to perform oral sex on her clitoris and vagina, and he would love to slide his erect penis into her tight, wet vagina. The woman criticizes him for being ‘too forward’ and ‘crass,’ and at one point even refers to him as a ‘disrespectful jerk,’ but despite those criticisms and insults, she allows the man to keep conversing with her, and later, she allows him to tongue-kiss her and caress her clitoris with his fingers. This would be an example of a woman exhibiting incongruent behavior with a man. Even though this book primarily centers on helping men improve upon their verbal communication skills with women, part of learning how to quickly and effectively identify Wholesome Pretender types and Manipulative Timewaster types involves developing a keen sense of how to ‘read’ a woman’s subtle and more overt body language signs and signals of interests and disinterest. RECAP Generally speaking, men and women are socially brainwashed in far different ways regarding how to

handle their sexual desires, impulses, and urges; Many mother and fathers train their daughters to carry themselves in public like a ‘prudish good girl’ who will only engage in sex with men within the context of marriage, or at least within the context of a long-term, emotionally profound, strictly monogamous romantic relationship; Men on the other hand are usually given the ‘green light’ by their parents and society as a whole to exhibit behavior that is more open-minded, free-spirited, and erotically uninhibited. Men are usually allowed to exhibit promiscuous behavior with women without social criticism or moral judgment

A woman who is a Wholesome Pretender is a woman that will always INITIALLY present herself to men as a ‘prudish good girl’ with strictly monogamy-oriented sexual interests, but if a man exhibits Mode One Behavior, and in addition, he knows how to converse with women in a manner that is verbally smooth and seductive, he will usually be able to persuade a woman to reveal her kinkier side as well as her more promiscuous and/or polyamorous side; A woman who is an Erotic Hypocrite is a woman who is similar to a Wholesome Pretender, only she tends to be a bit more pretentious, spoiled, and argumentative than most normal Wholesome Pretenders. A man will have to exhibit strong Alpha male characteristics to seduce an Erotic Hypocrite into engaging in one or more episodes of short-term and/or non-monogamous casual sex with him

A woman who is a Manipulative Timewaster is a woman who will spend days, weeks, or months giving men the misleading impression that she is interested in sharing their company in a romantic or strictly sexual

manner at some point in the near or distant future, but in reality, she has no genuine interest in engaging in sexual activities with any of these men

There are generally three types of Manipulative Timewasters: 1) Attention Whores , 2) Cock Teasers , and 3) Financial & Non-Financial ‘Favor Seekers’ ; Attention Whores are women who will mislead a man into thinking that she wants to eventually engage in sexual activities with him at some point in the future, but in reality, she just wants a man to flatter her, entertain her, and/or provide her with an ‘empathetic listening ear’ when she chooses to vent about her disappointments, problems, and frustrations; Cock Teasers are women who are a more sexually aggressive and more highly flirtatious version of an Attention Whore; and a Financial & Non-Financial ‘Favor Seeker’ is a woman who seeks out multiple men to become either a ‘temporary or short-term Sugar Daddy’ and/or an ‘indefinite Helpful Handyman’

In order for a man to be in a position where he can quickly and effectively distinguish between a Reciprocator and a Manipulative Timewaster , and similarly, distinguish between a Rejecter and a Wholesome Pretender or Erotic Hypocrite , this man must learn the difference between congruent behavior and incongruent behavior; Reciprocators and Rejecters always exhibit congruent behavior; Wholesome Pretenders, Erotic Hypocrites, and Manipulative Timewasters always exhibit incongruent behavior

As I already alluded to, most men could get away with exhibiting Mode Two Behavior instead of Mode One Behavior if all women exhibited the behavior of a Reciprocator or a Rejecter. For women who are Wholesome Pretenders, Erotic Hypocrites, and Manipulative Timewasters, I would venture to say that exhibiting Mode One Behavior (instead of Mode Two and/or Mode Three Behavior) is an absolute requirement . Before I proceed to compare Mode One Behavior with Mode Two Behavior, Mode Three Behavior, and Mode Four Behavior, I am going to first go into a bit more detail about the difference between Alpha males and Beta males in the very next chapter. Before proceeding to the next chapter, please honestly answer the following three questions: 1. Have you ever engaged in one or more episodes of short-term non-monogamous casual sex with a woman, and then later, referred to that woman as a ‘slut’ or ‘whore’ to one or more of your male friends? If so, what motivated you to do that? Why did you feel that was necessary? 2. Have you ever assumed that a woman you met was a prudish, strictly monogamy-oriented ‘good girl,’ only to have a male or female friend let you know weeks or months later that the woman who you assumed was a ‘prudish good girl’ was actually a woman who was extremely kinky and to some degree, promiscuous? If this has happened to you at least once, what made you automatically assume that the woman you socially interacted with was ‘prudish’ and/or ‘strictly monogamyoriented? Was it something she said specifically? Was it the type of clothes that she wore? Was it how she

responded to you when you attempted to discuss your sexual desires and interests with her? Other? 3. Have you ever allowed yourself to be misled by a woman into believing that this woman was genuinely interested in becoming your next long-term girlfriend or next casual sex lover, only to realize weeks, months, or even years later that this woman was only interested in you for your platonic attention and companionship and/or your financial generosity and ‘Helpful Handyman’ ways? Did that realization leave you feeling extremely angry, bitter, and resentful toward what woman? For how long? Once you answer these three questions, you’re free to proceed to Chapter Seven. Continue reading my friend.

CHAPTER SEVEN Understanding Women 101: The Difference Between ‘Alpha Male’ traits and ‘Beta Male’ traits “Some people stand and move as if they have no right to the space they occupy. Then they wonder why others often fail to treat them with respect - not realizing that it is they themselves who have sent out an unintentional signal to others that it is not necessary to treat them with any sort of respect.” Nathaniel Branden , author of The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem

Respect . I would argue that there is not much else that motivates a man to want to accomplish and achieve great things more than a strong desire to earn respect from other men and from women. Wealth means nothing to a man if it does not increase that man’s level of respect among his peers and rivals. Same with fame and popularity, social status, material possessions, education and intelligence, or good looks. I remember when I was a sophomore in college at Indiana University in Bloomington, Indiana, I had an older fraternity brother named Gary Gold who shared some advice and wisdom with me once. Gary said to me, “Alan, the ideal situation for a man is to be both liked and to be respected. But I say to you … if you must choose between one or the other, my advice is that it is always more important to have others respect you – and not like you – than to have others like you, but not respect you. ” ALPHA MALES vs BETA MALES There was a time in the history of the world where being a ‘real man’ was not necessarily an option. Being a man of courage was a necessity. The world was full of groups of men attempting to conquer other groups of men in order to take

advantage of their food, their natural resources, their land, and in many cases, their women. These men were usually forced to stand up for themselves. Centuries ago, separating the ‘real men’ from the cowardly men was relatively simple. If you were a man who was willing to protect your loved ones from physical harm and danger at any cost, you were considered a ‘man with courage.’ If you were a man who would allow other men to easily intimidate you, and take away your gold and valuable assets, your homes and shelter, your land … and even worse … you would allow other men to blatantly rape your wife, your sisters, or your daughters right in front of you without you as much attempting to stop them, you were considered a coward. Many of these world conqueror types were ruthless. In order to protect your wife, your children, and other loved ones from physical harm, rape, or murder, a man had to demonstrate courage and backbone . Even when a man did choose to stand up for himself during those times, he often was risking his life, and many times ended up murdered. This was known as ‘dying with honor.’ Today, very few men are in a situation where their life is in danger on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis except for maybe those who serve in the military or those who live a criminal lifestyle (i.e., mafia, street gangsters, etc.). Whenever a male client or follower of mine asks me, “Alan, what is the first step to gaining a better understanding of women?” I always respond with this comment: You must consciously realize that women react and respond to men who they perceive as Alpha males much differently than they react and respond to men who they perceive to be Beta males . This is not a strong opinion. This is a hardcore fact .

The simple description of an Alpha male would be a man who is competitive and often aggressive, confident, extremely masculine, and maintains a strong sense of courage and backbone. This man exhibits strong behavior . What does it mean to exhibit ‘strong’ behavior? To exhibit ‘strong’ behavior means that you do not allow any other person to talk to you or treat you in a blatantly disrespectful or undesirable manner without you standing up for yourself and challenging them. Secondly, to exhibit ‘strong’ behavior means that you do not allow other people to easily influence your behavior and your decision-making process. You think for yourself, and you behave in any manner that you believe to be advantageous for you and conducive to the achievement of your desired goals and the accomplishment of your desired objectives. Conversely, a Beta male would be a man who is generally more passive, egotistically insecure, cowardly at times, thinskinned and emotionally sensitive, and extremely accommodating, agreeable, and compliant to the requests and desires of others. This man exhibits weak behavior . What does it mean to exhibit ‘weak’ behavior? To exhibit ‘weak’ behavior means that you have no real backbone when it comes to standing up for yourself. You very frequently allow other people to talk to you and treat you in a blatantly disrespectful and undesirable manner. Secondly, to exhibit ‘weak’ behavior represents when you allow other people to easily influence your decision-making and the overall manner in which you behave. When you are weak, you do not think for yourself and you do not handle criticisms, insults, or rejection and failure very well at all. In my book, The Beta Male Revolution: Why Many Men Have Totally Lost Interest in Marriage in Today’s Society , I divide all men into four archetypes:

• Total Alpha males • An Alpha male with a few Beta traits & tendencies • A Beta male with a few Alpha traits & tendencies • Total Beta males I am not going to go into as much detail describing these four archetypes of men as I do in The Beta Male Revolution , but I will offer my male readers a brief overview of each archetype in this book. Which archetype a man falls into directly determines how women are going to generally react and respond to him. TOTAL ALPHA MALES As it relates to dating and relationships, and socializing with women, men who are Total Alpha males are men who only place one person on a pedestal: Themselves . With these men, their own needs and desires come before the needs and desires of anyone else including women. Men who are Total Alpha male types are usually exceptionally confident (some would say too confident or ‘cocky’), assertive or even aggressive, extremely masculine, and totally unfazed by and indifferent to what other people say about them or what opinions others may have of them. With the possible exception of women who are confirmed virgins, these men do not view any women as ‘prudish’ or ‘strictly monogamy-oriented.’ These men firmly believe that every woman on Planet Earth either is kinky, or has a high potential to become kinky. Similarly, these men believe all women either are already promiscuous and/or polyamorous, or have a high potential to become promiscuous and/or polyamorous. The benefit of having women perceive you as a Total Alpha male is that you will never have to promise a woman any sort of long-term monogamy or spend a significant amount of

money on a woman in order to motivate her to engage in sexual activities with you. No man will ever be able to successfully seduce women into engaging in short-term and/or non-monogamous sex with them like men who are Total Alpha male types. The ‘bad’ news – if you even want to call it that – is that these men will be criticized by women more than any of the other three archetypes of men. These men will often be categorized and labeled as ‘jerks,’ ‘assholes,’ ‘man-whores,’ ‘narcissists,’ and even ‘misogynists’ (although there is nothing about these men that is genuinely misogynistic; The term ‘misogynistic womanizer’ is a ridiculous oxymoron). One of the primary reasons why men who are Total Alpha male types often get harshly criticized by women is that men of this nature are not too interested in marriage or long-term monogamy with a woman. If a woman desires to marry a Total Alpha male type, she might as well plan on being in an ‘open marriage’ where she will have to allow her husband to take on additional lovers and concubines. Total Alpha male types are also not very fond of spending any significant amount of time with women in a non-physical, non-sexual, purely platonic manner. ALPHA MALE WITH A FEW BETA TRAITS & TENDENCIES If there is one man that has the best chance of women viewing him as a candidate to be their next long-term boyfriend and/or their future fiancé and husband, it is the man who is the Alpha male with a few Beta traits & tendencies . I would categorize these men as ‘two-thirds Alpha male and one-third Beta male.’ Their level of confidence and masculinity is just as high as a man who is a Total Alpha male type. Their sexual prowess and their sense of erotic dominance with women is almost as high as any Total Alpha

male type. These men also do not believe in spoiling women with excessive financial favors or materialistic gifts. What separates these men from Total Alpha male types is that these men are not quite as narcissistic and self-absorbed as a Total Alpha male type. These men are bit more emotionally empathetic and compromising than the typical Total Alpha male type. Also, men in this category tend to place more emphasis on marriage and raising a family with a woman than men in the Total Alpha male category will ever do. If these men have any major weakness, it would be that most men in this category have a challenging time remaining loyal and faithfully monogamous to their romantic companions and spouses. Many men who are Alpha males with a few Beta traits & tendencies tend to be sexually duplicitous and adulterous with women. Most men in this category want to maintain the public image of a man who is marriage-oriented and monogamy-oriented, but privately, they want to maintain a sex life that is just as free-spirited and promiscuous as a Total Alpha male type. BETA MALE WITH A FEW ALPHA TRAITS & TENDENCIES There are some men who will only be able to share the company of desirable women in a romantic or strictly sexual manner if they offer to do one of two things: 1) promise that woman long-term monogamy (usually in the form of proposing marriage to them), and/or 2) offer to spend a lot of money on that woman and offer to pay for many of her living expenses as well as offer to pay off her multiple financial debts. Men in this category are addicted to being able to share the company of beautiful, sexy women. These men might seek out casual sex encounters with women occasionally, but most of the time, these men prefer a relationship with a lovely wife

or long-term romantic companion, and they usually want to raise a family that includes two or more children. Because men in this category want and need the companionship of women very much, they will tend to be more than willing to accommodate women, and do everything they can to maintain the attention and companionship of a woman who they are very much attracted to including sometimes offering to be a woman’s ‘Sugar Daddy.’ The downside of men in this category is that often, these men will exhibit what is known as ‘passive-aggressive’ behavior. Described another way, these men tend to vacillate back-andforth between demonstrating Alpha male traits (usually only when they are angry or frustrated) and exhibiting Beta male traits (when everything is going well in their relationships with women). The girlfriends and wives of men in this category are prone to cheating and committing adultery, so many times these men end up experiencing a divorce that leaves them feeling very angry, bitter, and resentful toward women. TOTAL BETA MALES There are some men who love women so much, that they will defend women against what they perceive as ‘harsh and unfair criticisms’ from men every chance they get. These men will always seek to flatter women, entertain women, offer women an emotionally empathetic ‘listening ear’ when they feel those women need it, and they will often offer to perform as an indefinite ‘Helpful Handyman’ for women whenever a favor by a woman is needed or requested. That is the ‘good news’ (at least for the women who are acquainted with these types of men). These men are often referred to as ‘White Knights’ for women, which sadly, is not the admirable or noble title that it sounds like. When an Alpha male type refers to a man as a ‘White Knight’ or a ‘Captain

Save-a-Whore,’ he is not giving that Beta male a compliment. The problem with men who are Total Beta male types is that women love to share their company in a non-physical, nonsexual, purely platonic manner … but no women will express a desire to share these men’s company in any sort of romantic or strictly sexual manner. I am talking, NEVER. EVER. Remember how I stated earlier that many women will often refer to Total Alpha male types as ‘misogynists’ primarily due to the fact that Total Alpha male types do not think too highly of marriage, monogamy, or spending time with women in a non-sexual manner? Well, the truth of the matter is, it is primarily men who are Total Beta male types that usually transition into becoming a ‘bitter misogynist’ (i.e., they take up permanent residence in ‘The Mode Four Zone’) when these men reach the age of 35, 40, 45 or older. It is usually not until a Total Beta male type gets older that he realizes that just about every woman he is acquainted with is only interested in him as a purely platonic male friend (i.e., a ‘male girlfriend’ or a ‘play brother’). Once this realization slaps them in the face multiple times, these men become very angry, bitter, and resentful toward women. Sometimes, they develop a passionate hatred toward women that involves stalking, physical or sexual assault, or even murder. QUICK RECAP: CASUAL SEX vs. LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIPS vs. PLATONIC FRIENDSHIPS What many men are too naïve to realize about women is that the vast majority of women do not pursue all men’s companionship for the exact same reasons . Women generally tend to place men in one of these four categories: 1. Men who women primarily connect with to experience a high degree of sexual enjoyment and orgasmic pleasure and satisfaction; These are the men that women are the

most willing to engage in one or more episodes of shortterm non-monogamous sex with or enter into a long-term non-monogamous relationship with; This is when women primarily or exclusively pursue men who are Total Alpha male types; 2. Men who women primarily connect with to enter into a long-term monogamous relationship with (preferably marriage), or at minimum, to engage in a short-term monogamous (‘boyfriend-girlfriend’) relationship with. These are men who women want to spend time with both sexually and non-sexually; This is when women primarily or exclusively pursue men who are Alpha males with a few Beta traits & tendencies types; 3. Men who women primarily connect with because they know these men have a high degree of career success and financial success, and they know these men want to get married and raise a family, and are more than willing to offer their wives and romantic companions a high degree of financial security; If the relationship with the man is non-monogamous, the women know they can depend on this man to perform as some sort of temporary or indefinite ‘Sugar Daddy’ type for them; This is when women primarily or exclusively pursue men who are Beta males with a few Alpha traits & tendencies types; 4. Men who women primarily connect with because they know these men will flatter them on a regular or semiregular basis, offer to entertain them or socialize with them in a purely platonic manner on a regular or semiregular basis, offer to act as an emotionally empathetic ‘listening ear’ for them on a regular or semi-regular basis, and even offer to perform as a ‘Helpful Handyman’ for them occasionally, temporarily or indefinitely; This is when women primarily or exclusively gravitate toward men who are Total Beta male types The thing all men should keep in mind is that women react and respond to all four of these types of men in totally different

ways . Put simply, the more ALPHA a woman perceives you to be … the more she will criticize you and various aspects of your behavior, but on the positive end, you will have a much easier time persuading that woman to engage in sexual activities with you. On the other hand, the more BETA a woman perceives you to be … the more she will compliment you and many attributes and behavioral characteristics you possess, but on the negative end, you will have a much more difficult time motivating a woman to agree to engage in sexual activities with you. When you are a Beta male, women will be much more interested in spending time with you in a purely platonic manner rather than a romantic or strictly sexual manner. Before you proceed to the eighth and final chapter, please take time to answer the following three questions for yourself: 1) Have you ever had a woman you were acquainted with compliment you and your behavior quite frequently, but that same woman never allowed you to tongue-kiss her or engage in sexual activities with her? How did that make you feel? 2) Similar to Question #1, have you ever had a woman you were acquainted with criticize you and insult you on a regular or semi-regular basis, yet that same woman always allowed you to ‘make out’ with her and engage in sexual activities with her without any resistance? Did that incongruent behavior leave you feeling somewhat confused? 3) Have you ever found yourself feeling that a woman was only in a relationship with you because of your financial generosity? Have you ever felt suspicious that your wife or long-term girlfriend was cheating on you behind your back? Have you ever found yourself feeling angrier at women and more bitter and hateful toward women as you progressed into your late thirties or forties?

Once you answer these three questions, you are free to proceed to Chapter Eight, which is the FINAL CHAPTER . Continue reading my friend.

CHAPTER EIGHT Mode ONE Behavior: The Men Who Let Women Know What They Are REALLY Thinking “If you are afraid of being rejected, this fear will affect almost every area of your life – friendships, intimate relationships, job interviews, and so on. Rejection is rejection – wherever it is found. So, you begin to protect yourself and your ego, and, as a result, you greatly limit yourself. Soon, you begin to shut down and close out the world around you.” Dr. Susan Jeffers , author of Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway®: Dynamic techniques for turning Fear, Indecision and Anger into Power, Action and Love

Mode One Behavior . As a man, why do you REALLY want to approach a woman of interest? As a man, why do you REALLY want to initiate a conversation with a woman who you find to be physically attractive and sexually appealing? As a man, why do you REALLY want to share this woman’s company in the near and/or distant future? Deep down, you already know the answer to these questions. The answer to each of these questions is simple: Because you want to engage in sexual relations with this woman and exchange orgasms with her. Period. You might want to engage in sexual activities with this woman within the context of a long-term monogamous relationship, such as marriage or cohabitation. You might want to engage in sexual activities with this woman within the context of a long-term non-

monogamous relationship such as an ‘open marriage,’ an ‘open relationship,’ or a ‘Friends-with-Benefits [FWB]’ relationship. You might want to engage in sexual activities with this woman within the context of a short-term monogamous relationship, such as a ‘boyfriend-girlfriend’ arrangement that may last several weeks, months, or maybe a year or two (but this arrangement will not result in marriage or long-term cohabitation). You might want to engage in sexual activities with this woman within the context of a short-term non-monogamous ‘hook up,’ such as a one-night stand, a weekend fling, or some other similar variation of ‘casual’ sex. Regardless of whether your interest is short-term sex or longterm sex, or whether your interest is monogamous sex or nonmonogamous sex, the fact is, you want to have sex with this woman who you are currently conversing with . This is the very first thing you need to acknowledge to yourself. I have known many men who will actually attempt to deny this fact in their own minds. “I am not sure I want to have sex with this woman … I just enjoy her company.” Yeah, RIGHT. That is a blatant lie you are telling yourself, and you know it. The thing is, the vast majority of women – unless they are naïve virgins – already know that your desire to have sex with them is the number one reason why you are conversing with them and socializing with them at this very moment . WOMEN KNOW THIS. Trust me. This is what my mother’s former student confessed and acknowledged during that conversation she and I had in October 1990. Women are just curious to find out if you have the CONFIDENCE and COURAGE (i.e., ‘the cojones’) to express this desire to them in a bold, upfront, specific, and straightforwardly honest manner. Well … DO YOU ? Once a man acknowledges to himself that he has a desire to engage in sexual activities with a woman, the next thing he must decide is, HOW IS HE GOING TO VERBALLY

COMMUNICATE HIS DESIRES, INTERESTS, INTENTIONS to this woman of interest?

and

Is this man going to first engage in a minimum of twenty minutes of flattering and entertaining ‘fluff talk,’ ‘chitchat,’ and ‘small talk’ prior to verbally communicating his true desires and interests to this woman? Will this man first seek to treat this woman to a free lunch one or two times … or treat her to a free dinner two or three times … before verbally communicating his true desires and interests? If the answer is yes, then this would represent a man who plans on verbally communicating his romantic or strictly sexual desires, interests, and intentions to women in a MODE TWO manner. Is this man going to spend a lot of time engaged in lengthy conversations with women without ever once mentioning his true desires, interests, and intentions to women of interest? Is this man going to blatantly lie to women and mislead women regarding what his true desires, interests, and intentions are? Or worse, is this man going to avoid approaching women and avoid initiating a conversation with women altogether? If so, this would represent a man who seeks to regularly exhibit what I refer to as MODE THREE Behavior. Is this man angry toward women? Does this man harbor a high degree of bitterness and resentment toward women? Does this man only initiate conversations with women when he wants to harshly criticize them, insult them, or antagonize them? If the answer is yes to each of these questions, then this represents a man who has either temporarily or indefinitely entered what I refer to as ‘The MODE FOUR Zone.’ REMINDER #1: THE THREE TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS A MAN CAN MAINTAIN WITH A WOMAN My first reminder that I am going to offer to every man reading this chapter is that there are generally only THREE

(3) TYPES of relationships that any man can have with any woman: • A relationship that is strictly sexual in nature (i.e., the man and the woman spend very little if any time together engaged in any sort of non-sexual activities) • A relationship that is strictly non-sexual in nature (i.e., there is no physical intimacy and/or sexual activities that are involved between this man and this woman at all) • A relationship that is simultaneously both sexual and non-sexual in nature (i.e., what is generally referred to as marriage or a long-term ‘romantic’ relationship, or at minimum, a Friends-with-Benefits relationship or a polyamorous relationship) Make no mistake: Every woman you meet from this point forward is going to be interested in only ONE of those three types of relationships with you, assuming that each woman you meet expresses a desire to socialize with you more than once. How quickly are you going to proceed to find out which of those three types of relationship that the woman you are in conversation with is truly interested in ? REMINDER #2: THE FOUR TYPES OF FEMALE VERBAL COMMUNICATORS My second reminder for men reading this chapter is to reiterate the fact that not all women will verbally communicate their interest to spend time with a man - or their lack of interest in wanting to spend time with a man - in the exact same manner. There are two general categories of female communicators: The direct and non-manipulative communicators and the misleading and manipulative communicators. There are two specific types of

verbal verbal verbal verbal

communicators that fall under each of those two categories: Reciprocators : These are women who will always verbally communicate to men their desire and interest in spending time with those men in a romantic or strictly sexual manner in an upfront, specific, and straightforwardly honest manner ; These women have no time for what I refer to as ‘manipulative head games.’ Rejecters : These are women who will always verbally communicate to men their lack of interest in wanting to spend time with these men in any sort of romantic or strictly sexual manner in an upfront, specific, and straightforwardly honest manner ; Similar to the women who are Reciprocators , these women have no time or patience to engage in ‘manipulative head games’ with men; Wholesome Pretenders & Erotic Hypocrites : These are women who are extremely sexually duplicitous and misleading with men regarding the type of women they really are. These women want to publicly maintain the image and reputation of a somewhat prudish and strictly monogamy-oriented ‘good girl,’ but deep down, these women are much kinkier and much more promiscuous and/or polyamorous than the average man will be able to detect in the very first conversation (An Erotic Hypocrite is simply a woman who is a more pretentious, materialistic, and bad-tempered variation of a Wholesome Pretender ); Manipulative Timewasters : These are women who know by the end of their first or second conversation with a man that they have absolutely no desire to spend time with him in any sort of romantic or strictly sexual manner, but they are extremely reluctant to verbally communicate their lack of interest to this man in an upfront, specific, and straightforwardly honest manner. Why not? Because these women are very interested in either a) recruiting this man to be a long-term purely platonic male friend of theirs , who will

consistently flatter them, entertain them, and provide them with an emotionally empathetic ‘listening ear’ whenever they are bored, disappointed, frustrated, or lonely; or b) recruiting this man to be a short-term or long-term (non-sexual) financial favor provider (i.e., ‘Sugar Daddy’) and/or a short-term or long-term non-financial favor provider (i.e., ‘Helpful Handyman’). Now that you are very familiar with these four types of female verbal communicators, the question becomes: From this day forward, what type of conversation are you going to engage in with the women you meet in order to find out specifically which of those four archetypes of women that you are dealing with ? THE ‘TEN WOMEN IN A ROOM’ SCENARIO One scenario I always use with many of my (male) followers and dating coaching clients is what I label ‘The 10 Women in a Hotel Conference Room ’ scenario. Here are the specific details of this hypothetical scenario : You are one of ten men selected to participate in a datingrelated social experiment . Each of the ten men – including yourself – will have two hours to engage in conversation with all ten women (which gives each man an average of eleven or twelve minutes to converse and socialize with each of the ten women). In the room are four (4) women who are Manipulative Timewasters , three (3) women who are Rejecters , one (1) woman who is a Wholesome Pretender , one (1) woman who is an Erotic Hypocrite , and one (1) woman who is a Reciprocator .

The challenge is, you have NO IDEA which category each of the women falls into BEFORE you begin conversing with them . Added incentives : Monetary Bonus #1 : You will earn a $1,000 bonus if you complete all ten of your conversations with each woman in an hour or less . Monetary Bonus #2 : You will earn $1,400 bonus if you are able to successfully identify each of the three Rejecters and each of the four Manipulative Timewasters in 90 minutes or less . Monetary Bonus #3 : You will earn a $1,000 bonus if you are able to identify the Reciprocator in the room in one hour or less; You will earn a $1,500 bonus if you are able to identify the Wholesome Pretender in the room in one hour or less; And finally, you will earn a $2,000 bonus if you are able to identify the Erotic Hypocrite in the room in 90 minutes or less. What type of conversation would you have with each woman that would allow you to identify the specific archetype that each of these ten women fall into … with each conversation lasting no longer than approximately twelve minutes? ALWAYS SEEK TO IDENTIFY THE REJECTERS and MANIPULATIVE TIMEWASTERS FIRST I always tell my male dating coaching clients this: If you are in a social setting that might be somewhat similar to this hypothetical scenario I have presented to you (i.e., your social setting potentially includes at least one Reciprocator , at least one Rejecter , at least one Wholesome Pretender , at least one Erotic Hypocrite , and at least one Manipulative Timewaster ), you always want to seek to identify the Rejecters and the

Manipulative Timewasters first. Why? MODE ONE TIP : YOU MUST SIGNIFICANTLY DIMINISH OR EVEN TOTALLY AVOID ENGAGING IN LENGTHY EPISODES OF TRIVIAL, INCONSEQUENTIAL ‘FLUFF TALK,’ ‘CHITCHAT,’ and ‘SMALL TALK’ WITH WOMEN Many pickup artists (PUAs) highly encourage men to open a conversation with a woman and engage in lengthy episodes of flattering and entertaining conversations that PUAs refer to as ‘rapport building conversations.’ These PUAs believe that these sorts of conversations cause women to ‘like’ a man more and ‘trust’ him more. On the other hand, I never encourage my dating coaching clients to do such a thing. The first three-to-five minutes of your very first conversation with a woman determines EVERYTHING . More specifically, if a woman is not sure if you are an Alpha male or a Beta male , she will arrive at her conclusion about a man at no later than approximately the five-minute mark of her very first conversation with a man. Why is this distinction so important to women (and men)? Here is the hardcore truth: Women have no interest in engaging in short-term and/or non-monogamous ‘casual’ sex with men who they believe are Beta male types. Once a woman identifies a man as being a Beta male type, the only way that this man will be able to engage in casual sex with this woman is if he offers to spend a significant amount of money on this woman, or he chooses to exhibit the behavior of a MODE THREE LIAR and mislead this woman into believing that he is open to enter into a long-term, emotionally profound, monogamous relationship with her … but then, after a few days or a few weeks of engaging in sexual activities with this woman … he chooses to abruptly break up with her without warning.

The latter option is what many PUAs teach their Beta male type clients to do with women. These PUAs know that most of their clients are not of the Alpha male ilk, so what they teach them to do is to lie to women, mislead women, and manipulate these women’s emotions as a way of ‘sneaking into’ these women’s pants. I never have encouraged my clients to do this, and I never will. Even these PUAs know the hardcore truth: Women will only engage in one or more episodes of non-monogamous casual sex FOR FREE with men who they perceive as Alpha male types. There is a wellknown saying that goes, “Alphas fuck women while Beta males spend the big bucks on them ” (another shorter variation is ‘Alpha fucks / Beta bucks ’). Trust me … there is a lot of validity to that adage and proverb. What I do is help men transition from a Beta male mindset and demeanor to more of an Alpha male mindset and demeanor when they are conversing with and socializing with women. Various studies and surveys have concluded that just about every (bisexual or heterosexual) woman decides fairly quickly if they are going to engage in short-term non-monogamous ‘casual’ sex with a man. This is not any sort of long process for the vast majority of women. Some women know within seconds if a man is a candidate to be a future casual sex lover of theirs. Based on my own personal experiences and observations, most women know within the first five minutes of their very first conversation with a man if he is a Total Alpha male , an Alpha male with a few Beta traits & tendencies , a Beta male with a few Alpha traits & tendencies , or a Total Beta male . Women have a ‘sixth sense’ about this. It does not take women hours, days, or weeks to determine this. For example, men who are Beta male types usually begin their conversations with women by expressing several very flattering compliments to women which is soon followed by

an enthusiastic attempt to engage a woman in a lengthy episode of flattering and entertaining ‘fluff talk,’ ‘chitchat,’ and ‘small talk.’ A man who is a certified Alpha male will almost always seek to ‘get straight to the point’ of the conversation with a woman from the very beginning. Most women are not naïve or stupid, with the possible exception of those women who are very young and inexperienced with men. The vast majority of women know as soon as a man begins flirting with them that this man wants to exchange orgasms with them. WOMEN KNOW THIS . Once again … trust me when I say this. So, I ask you: As a man, what do you REALLY need to discuss with a woman for more than approximately five minutes before you finally get around to verbally communicating to women why you are REALLY in conversation with her? When you engage in more than five minutes of general, trivial, inconsequential conversations with women, you are WASTING TIME. You are causing yourself to be perceived by women as a BETA male instead of the more highly preferred ALPHA male . HOW TO OPEN A CONVERSATION Many professional Dating Coaches and PUAs will always emphasize ‘openers,’ which is the very first question or very first comment you say to a woman of interest after you approach her. How you ‘open’ a woman is extremely important . If nothing else, how you ‘open’ a woman will determine if that woman perceives you as a confident Alpha male type … or a fawning Beta male type. I know one well-known PUA who promotes the idea of opening a conversation with a question . For example, “Let

me ask you a quick question … do you think all women should limit themselves to only wearing skirts and dresses? Or do you think women should feel free to always wear jeans, pants, and slacks?” Another example of the question opener would be, “Hey … quick question for you: Do you believe that men should always pay for the first date? Or do you believe women should offer to pay for their own meal during a first date?” Some Dating Coaches and PUAs simply believe in opening a conversation with a woman by saying, “Excuse me … I am [man states his first name] . And you are? [man waits for woman to respond with her first name] ” Then, the man follows up his formal introduction of himself by immediately asking the woman for her telephone number. Beginning with the age of 21 up until present day, I have used a wide variety of ‘opening comments’ with women, depending on where I was at the time, the time of day, and whether that woman was alone or accompanied by male and/or female friends, relatives, and acquaintances. Generally, my opening comments vary from woman to woman, but I do have one or two ‘openers’ that I use quite frequently. When a woman is alone, the closest thing I have to a frequently used ‘default opener,’ would be “So … when would you like to share my company one-on-one … next week? Or the week after? ” Another close variation of that opener would be, “So … when would you like to share my company one-on-one … next Friday, or next Saturday? ” I personally do not like to open women with questions … and I do not like to open women by first introducing myself by name. If your heart is set on opening women in one of those two ways, good luck. My attitude is, if a woman is not attracted to me at all, and has no potential interest in sharing my company in any sort of romantic or strictly sexual manner, then I do not give a damn what her answer is to my question

… and I do not care to immediately let this woman know what my first name is. I always prefer for a woman to ask ME what my (first) name is. This means that the woman is genuinely curious to know more about me . Also, I rarely if ever ask a woman for her phone number. I always seek to either exchange numbers, or I will offer MY phone number to her. I have found that if I give a woman my number, and a few days or a few weeks later that woman calls me, 99.9% chance, she is interested in sharing my company. IDENTIFYING A WOMAN’S ARCHETYPE FROM THE OPENER Okay. You have just used the suggested ‘opener’ that I described for you. What is next? From the moment you use my suggested opener (or a close variation of it), you should be able to quickly and effectively identify over the next few minutes what type of woman you are dealing with. RECIPROCATORS The easiest archetype for a man to identify will be the woman who is an enthusiastic Reciprocator . Usually, her first response is going to be something along the lines of, “Well! That is a very straightforward approach! What is your name?” Once you introduce yourself, she is going to introduce herself, and then she is then going to ask you specifically what do you have in mind as far as sharing her company. Let this woman know immediately that you have no interest in becoming another one of her ‘purely platonic male friends.’ Make this unequivocally clear to her . After you do this, a Reciprocator is going to remain very enthusiastic toward the idea of exchanging phone numbers with you, and she will even

go as far as to identify a specific day, date, and time for you two to get together and do whatever it is that you are suggesting to her that you desire to do with her. Do not attempt to ‘over sell’ or go out of your way to attempt to ‘impress’ a woman who is a Reciprocator. This is unnecessary. This woman is definitely interested in sharing your company. From this point, you just need to be specific about what you are looking for (i.e., a long-term romantic relationship? Friends-with-Benefits? Two or three weeks of short-term non-monogamous ‘casual’ sex? Other?) She will be in agreement with any desires, interests, and intentions that you present to her. This is why she is a Reciprocator . REJECTERS Similar to Reciprocators , women who are straightforward Rejecters are very easy to identify. Once you use the opening comment that I suggested for you (or a close variation of that suggested opener), a woman is going to immediately communicate to you that she simply has no interest in sharing your company in a romantic, strictly sexual, or even a purely platonic manner. Her response might be along the lines of, “I am sorry … but I am married. Take care. ” Or it might be, “I appreciate your interest … but I have to let you know, I am involved in a longterm relationship with my boyfriend who I love very much. Sorry! ” Let me make this very clear : Once a woman outright rejects you, end the conversation and leave her alone . Do not attempt to become ‘more persistent’ with that woman. If you do attempt to become persistent with her, you are now entering into the realm of ‘harassment.’ Do not harass women . Some women might call the police on you, and that never ends well. Just leave a Rejecter alone and move on to the next

woman of interest. WHOLESOME PRETENDERS & EROTIC HYPOCRITES If there is one type of woman who is going to do the best job of ‘testing’ your ego and your overall sense of confidence, your sense of backbone, your sense of erotic dominance, and your degree of verbal seductiveness, it is going to be the woman who is either a Wholesome Pretender or an Erotic Hypocrite . These are the women that make MODE ONE Behavior the most necessary, with Manipulative Timewaster types being a close second. How you open a woman who is a Wholesome Pretender or Erotic Hypocrite will determine if this woman transitions into behaving like a Reciprocator, a Rejecter , or a Manipulative Timewaster later in the conversation. This is the ‘tricky’ thing about women in this category. These women can choose to transition into any of those three directions depending on if you present yourself as an Alpha male or a Beta male . The more a man presents himself to a woman as a Beta male type, the more a woman who is a Wholesome Pretender or Erotic Hypocrite is going to transition into behaving like a Rejecter or a Manipulative Timewaster. The only time a woman who is a Wholesome Pretender or Erotic Hypocrite is going to potentially transition into behaving like a Reciprocator later in the conversation (or maybe during your second or third conversation with her) is if she perceives your behavior and demeanor to be representative of a Total Alpha male type … or at minimum, an Alpha male with a few Beta traits & tendencies type.

Remember: Women in this category are always going to be kinkier and more open to engage in short-term and/or nonmonogamous ‘casual’ sex than they are going to be willing to initially or publicly admit to. These women will never reveal this side of themselves to men who they perceive to be Beta male types So, once you execute my suggested opener (or again, a very close variation of that opener), a woman who is a Wholesome Pretender or Erotic Hypocrite is going to begin asking you questions and/or they will begin expressing comments, criticisms, or insults . These women will never quickly and straightforwardly reciprocate your desires and interests … nor will these women quickly and straightforwardly reject your desires and interests. Only women who are Reciprocators and Rejecters will do that. Example of an interaction with a Wholesome Pretender or an Erotic Hypocrite type : You : So … when would you like to share my company oneon-one … next Friday, or next Saturday? Wholesome Pretender : (giggles) Well … what a way to begin a conversation with a woman! Do you begin all of your conversations with women like this? You : If I feel like it, yes. For now, I just want to concentrate on you. Wholesome Pretender : Is that right? (giggles) I do not even know your name … You : My name is [state your first name here]. Wholesome Pretender : Well, my name is [she will state her first name here] . So … what exactly do you have in mind? Why should I agree to share your company? You : I want you to share my company because I find you very attractive and very sexy. I look forward to tongue-kissing

you and caressing your skin while we are having sex together … [Warning : This Wholesome Pretender is about to TEST YOU. She is going to test you to see if you REALLY have the cojones to say such a thing to a woman … or if you just read Alan Roger Currie’s Mode One book, and you are ‘testing out’ a new pickup technique ] Wholesome Pretender : Excuse me?!? You : You are excused. Wholesome Pretender : I beg your pardon?!? You : You are not obligated to beg me for anything. At least, not yet. [ Note : Congratulations! You PASSED her FIRST TEST. You did not back down from your provocative comments nor did you offer an apology for them. You remained cool, calm, collected, and confident] Wholesome Pretender (calms down a bit): You are a piece of work! You : Yes. I have heard that before from many other women. I like to get straight-to-the-point with women regarding my sexual desires and interests. I do not like to waste time with vague and ambiguous conversation with women. Wholesome Pretender : Is that right … You : That is right. Wholesome Pretender : Well, I have to let you know upfront. I am a respectable GOOD GIRL. I do not just jump into bed with total strangers. A man has to take me out to dinner, impress me with his conversation, and let me know more about him. I only have sex with men who I am romantically involved in a long-term relationship with. [Warning : This Wholesome Pretender is TESTING YOU AGAIN. I refer to this second test as the, “I want to see if you are a true ALPHA MALE … or if you are a BETA MALE ‘pretending’ to be an Alpha male” DO NOT FALL FOR THIS. ]

You : Sorry, but I am not looking to treat you to dinner, and I am not interested in attempting to ‘impress’ you. Also, I am not looking to enter into any relationship that is long-term, emotionally profound, or strictly monogamous. (at this point, move closer to this woman’s left ear and begin whispering in her left ear; A woman who is a Reciprocator, a Wholesome Pretender, or even an Erotic Hypocrite will always allow you to whisper in their left ear at some point) You (whispering into her left ear): I am going to fuck you . I cannot wait to slide my rock hard dick into your tight wet pussy … [Warning : At this point, the Wholesome Pretender is going to offer you her FINAL TEST. She is going to harshly criticize you and insult you in response to you using such sexually explicit language with her. DO NOT FALL FOR THIS TEST. If this woman was genuinely not interested in sharing your company, she would END THE CONVERSATION WITH YOU. Just the fact that she is STILL LISTENING TO WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY should let you know that deep down, she is still interested. If a woman is more of an Erotic Hypocrite than a conventional Wholesome Pretender, she is going to really unload on you as far as criticizing you and insulting you. YOUR EGO MUST BE PREPARED TO HANDLE THIS. If you begin to become defensive, egotistically insecure, emotionally sensitive, or argumentative, that Erotic Hypocrite is going to shred your ego to pieces. She will know that you are really a Beta male type ‘pretending’ to behave like an Alpha male type. ] If everything goes as planned, you should be able to provoke this woman to reveal to you her kinkier side, her more erotically submissive side, and her more promiscuous and/or polyamorous side. Personally, I have rarely failed to persuade and seduce a Wholesome Pretender type or an Erotic Hypocrite type into agreeing to have sex with me. Rarely . With some women in this category, I have ended up engaging in sexual activities within thirty minutes or less after I first opened them, and

other times, it might have taken me an hour or two, a day or two, or a week or two. A few other times, a little longer. But nineteen times out of every twenty social interactions with a Wholesome Pretender type or an Erotic Hypocrite type, I have ended up having sex with the women in this category. Remember : You can always identify separate a Wholesome Pretender (WP) and an Erotic Hypocrite (EH) from a genuine Rejecter by paying attention to the fact that WPs and EHs are never going to immediately or straightforwardly reject your sexual desires, interests, and intentions. Never . All they are going to do is ask you several questions and/or express several comments, harsh criticisms, and personal insults. ALL OF THIS IS DESIGNED TO ‘TEST’ YOU . These women want to see if you are truly an Alpha male or a Beta male . MANIPULATIVE TIMEWASTERS Women who are Manipulative Timewasters are extremely spoiled and exceptionally savvy. You can think of these women as being very similar to a genuine Rejecter , only these women want to FIRST exploit you and use you for something they feel you have to offer them of value. Consequently, these women are going to be very reluctant to ever reject a man immediately and straightforwardly. Doing so would prevent them from taking full advantage of what that may have to offer them that is of tangible value or of intangible value. When men regularly exhibit MODE TWO Behavior with women and/or MODE THREE Behavior with women, those men are going to have an extremely difficult time identifying a woman who is a Manipulative Timewaster type. If you are a man who prefers to exhibit Mode Two Behavior with women, it will probably take you a minimum of two or three conversations to surmise that you are dealing with a Manipulative Timewaster type. You will probably end up treating this woman to at least one free lunch or one free

dinner. Minimum. If you are a man who is in the bad habit of exhibiting Mode Three Behavior with women, GOOD LUCK . It is going to literally take you weeks, months, or even sometimes years before you realize that you are dealing with a certified Manipulative Timewaster type. When you exhibit MODE ONE Behavior with women, you will usually be able to identify a Manipulative Timewaster type within the first five minutes of your very first conversation with her … and maybe ten or fifteen minutes maximum. If there is one characteristic that is very ‘tricky’ about Manipulative Timewaster types, is that more often than not, these women will initially seem like they are more attracted to a man and less offended by his sexual propositions than most Wholesome Pretender types or Erotic Hypocrite types. This is why many men tend to very frequently make the mistake of confusing a Wholesome Pretender or an Erotic Hypocrite for being a genuine Rejecter … and similarly, why many men often confuse a Manipulative Timewaster type for being a genuine Reciprocator . Women in this category are great ‘actresses.’ The only way to identify and expose a Manipulative Timewaster type is to put these women in a position where they are virtually forced to either a) immediately and straightforwardly reciprocate your romantic or strictly sexual desires, interests, and intentions … or b) immediately and straightforwardly reject your romantic or strictly sexual desires, interests, and intentions. Either, or. The reality is, women in this category are never going to straightforwardly reciprocate your desires and interests, and they are going to be extremely reluctant to straightforwardly reject your desires and interests. These women are masterful ‘manipulative game players .’ These women love to engage

in ‘manipulative head games’ with men. Remember : The more you engage women in this category in several episodes of flattering and entertaining ‘fluff talk,’ ‘chitchat,’ and ‘small talk,’ the more you are playing right into these women’s hands . These women are generally going to avoid prolonged conversations about your desire to have sex with them, and they will generally rebuff any (physical) attempt on your behalf to initiate physical interplay and/or sexual activity with them. So, once you execute my suggested opener (or once again, a very close variation of that opener), a woman who is a Manipulative Timewaster is going to begin evaluating your personality and overall behavior (to identify if you would make a good short-term or long-term ‘male girlfriend’ or ‘play brother’ for her) and she is going to begin asking you questions about your career, your education, where you live, what kind of automobile you drive, and your overall background (to determine if you have what it takes to become her next short-term or long-term financial favor provider [i.e., ‘Sugar Daddy’] or non-financial favor provider [i.e., ‘Helpful Handyman’]). This woman is going to keep everything about her interest in you vague and ambiguous . This woman will never say anything such as, “I am so interested in having sex with you in the near future! ” nor will she say, “I have absolutely no interest in having sex with you. ” Most of her comments will be along the lines of, “I really need to spend a few weeks getting to know you better before I agree to do anything physical or sexual with you. ” Translation : I need more time to see if you will make a great ‘male girlfriend’ or ‘play brother’ for me … or if you make a great ‘Sugar Daddy’ or ‘Helpful Handyman’ for me. Example of an interaction with a Manipulative Timewaster type :

You : So … when would you like to share my company oneon-one … next week? Or the week after? Manipulative Timewaster : (giggles) I do not even know you!! Tell me your name … You : [you state your first name] Manipulative Timewaster : Glad to meet you! I am [she states her first name] . So … tell me a little about yourself! What do you do for a living? Do you live around here? Where did you attend college? [Warning : This Manipulative Timewaster is about to TEST YOU. She is going to test you to determine if YOU ARE FINANCIALLY SELF-SUFFICIENT or WEALTHY, and if you reside in an AFFLUENT NEIGHBORHOOD. ] You : I will let you know all about me in due time, but first, I want to know when would you like to share my company … next week? Or the week after? [Note : Congratulations! You avoided offering her a lengthy ‘biography’ about yourself. You can do that at some point later on the phone with a woman if need be. Right now, you just want to get her to agree that she definitely wants to share your company one-on-one ] Manipulative Timewaster : Okay! I understand! Got it. Well, what about you take me to [she names a four star or five-star restaurant, to test your willingness to treat her to a free meal] . I heard the food there is delicious! Many of my girlfriends have dined there! You : So … are you offering to treat me to a free dinner there? [Note : Congratulations! You avoided falling right into her trap of expecting men to immediately offer HER a free meal. ] Manipulative Timewaster : No, silly!! Men are always supposed to pay for dinner … not the other way around!! You know that!

You : Well, I guess I am the exception to the rule. I can prepare dinner for you at my place. I can cook. I do not need to visit a restaurant. Manipulative Timewaster : Is that right? Well, that is great to know! Tell you what. My girlfriends and I are going bowling next Friday. You are more than welcome to come and join us! [Warning : This Manipulative Timewaster is offering her SECOND TEST. She wants to determine if you are the type of Beta male that is more than willing to share her company in a ‘group’ setting. All men who become a woman’s ‘male girlfriend’ or ‘play brother’ are usually willing to do just that without hesitation ] You : No. With all due respect, I will pass on your invitation. I only want to spend quality time with you. Not you and your girlfriends. Unless … you and your girlfriends all agree to get totally naked with me in a hot tub somewhere. [Note : Congratulations! You introduced sexuality into the conversation. Manipulative Timewasters HATE that. They love to keep their conversations with men general and nonsexual. ] Manipulative Timewaster : Wow!! You are a naughty boy!! I think I am going to have to train you to behave yourself around me! [Warning : This is the Manipulative Timewaster offering her FINAL TEST for you. She wants you to agree to ‘play by her rules.’ She wants to let you know that she is the one who is establishing the ‘terms and conditions’ of her social interactions with you and her quickly developing friendship with you … not you. ] You : No woman will ever ‘train’ me. If anything, I will train you. I will train you to treat me like a King. You will be trained to be ultra-feminine, erotically submissive, and please and satisfy all of my sexual needs and desires. Do you understand that?

[Note : Congratulations! You defied this woman’s attempt to control and influence your behavior. You demonstrated a strong sense of backbone with this woman. From this point forward, you want to force this woman to either straightforwardly acknowledge an interest in sharing your company in some sort of romantic or strictly sexual manner … or you want to force this woman to straightforwardly confess that she has absolutely no interest in sharing your company in a manner that is beyond purely platonic. ] Manipulative Timewaster : Well mister, I have to let you know … I do not treat any man like a King! You will treat me like a Princess!! No, I meant to say, you will treat me like a Queen!! You understand that mister! You : Take care. Enjoy the rest of your day. This conversation is over. Women in this category are good at doing one thing: motivating you to invest a significant amount of time attempting to secure their romantic or strictly sexual companionship … or even more so, motivating you to invest a significant amount of time AND money attempting to exchange orgasms with them one day in the near future . In the same way women who are Wholesome Pretenders and Erotic Hypocrites desire to mislead men with disingenuous NEGATIVE reactions and responses, women who are Manipulative Timewasters very much want to mislead and string men along with highly disingenuous POSITIVE reactions and responses. Personally, I have never had a woman who was a genuine Rejecter type leave me feeling angry, bitter, frustrated, regretful, or resentful. Never. I just accepted their rejection, and moved on. On the other hand, I have had at least a halfdozen women who were Manipulative Timewaster types leave me feeling very angry, bitter, frustrated, regretful, and resentful. Sometimes for a few days, sometimes for a few weeks, sometimes for a few months, and in one or two situations, for a year or longer. This is why all men should

stay away from exhibiting Mode Two Behavior and Mode Three Behavior with women. If you exhibit either of those two types of behavior with women, you will always eventually end up in ‘The Mode Four Zone.’ RETURNING TO THE ‘TEN WOMEN IN A ROOM’ SCENARIO So, now that you know how to ‘open’ a woman … and you realize that you must keep your flattering and entertaining ‘small talk’ to a bare minimum … and you have learned how to generally converse with women who are Reciprocator types, Rejecter types, Wholesome Pretender & Erotic Hypocrite types, and Manipulative Timewaster types … are you prepared to enter that room with the ten women? MODE ONE PRINCIPLE #1 When you open a conversation with a woman, confidently look her directly in her eyes . Do not look UP. Do not look DOWN. Do not look to your left side. Do not look to your right side. Look at that woman directly in her eyes in a very highly self-assured manner. MODE ONE PRINCIPLE #2 Ideally, you should open your conversation with a woman by inviting her to share your company at some point in the near future one-on-one (as opposed to connecting with her in the company of a group of her friends). If you are interested in engaging in sex with this woman in a possible long-term monogamous manner, I would spend some time getting to know more about her personality, her moral character and integrity, and her general likes and dislikes during multiple conversations via the telephone.

If your interest leans more so toward engaging in sex with her within the context of a short-term and/or non-monogamous ‘casual’ sex relationship, be very upfront, specific, and straightforwardly honest with her about your objective. Do not lie to her or mislead her. Remember: Men who are genuine Alpha male types do not engage in lengthy episodes of trivial, inconsequential ‘small talk’ with women. Especially if their primary objective is to engage in one or more episodes of short-term and/or nonmonogamous ‘casual’ sex with the woman. Only Beta male types choose to engage in lengthy episodes of ‘fluff talk,’ ‘chitchat,’ and ‘small talk’ with women. MODE ONE PRINCIPLE #3 Once you open the conversation and you verbally communicate to a woman your desire to share her company in a romantic or strictly sexual manner, allow that woman to either a) straightforwardly reciprocate your desires and interests … or b) straightforwardly reject your desires and interests. Women who are genuine Reciprocator types or Rejecter types will do just that. In contrast, women who are Wholesome Pretender types and Erotic Hypocrite types are going to be very resistant to immediately and straightforwardly reciprocate your desires and interests, and they are also going to be extremely reluctant to reject your desires and interests too quickly or too straightforwardly. These women want to first determine if you are a genuine Alpha male , or if you are more of a Beta male type who is ‘pretending’ to present yourself to women as an Alpha male . If a Wholesome Pretender or an Erotic Hypocrite perceives you as more of a Beta male , these women are going to transition into behaving like either a Rejecter or a Manipulative Timewaster. If these women feel assured that you are definitely an Alpha male type, they will slowly but surely begin to reveal their more highly feminine side, their

more erotically submissive side, and their more kinky and promiscuous and/or polyamorous side to you. Similarly, women who are Manipulative Timewaster types are also going to resist the temptation to reject a man’s desires and interests too quickly or too straightforwardly, and they are going to be extremely reluctant to immediately and straightforwardly reciprocate a man’s desires and interests. These women want to first extract biographical information about you so that they can determine what you may have to offer them of tangible value and/or intangible value. At minimum, these women are seeking to recruit a new purely platonic male friend, and at maximum, they are in the market for a ‘Sugar Daddy’ or ‘Helpful Handyman.’ MODE ONE PRINCIPLE #4 Never display an ‘angry’ reaction in response to a woman rejecting you; being rejected by a woman is never representative of ‘failure’ with women. Never . The only time you can say to yourself that you ‘failed’ with women is when you FAIL TO APPROACH WOMEN who you are attracted to … you FAIL TO INITIATE A CONVERSATION WITH THEM … and you FAIL TO VERBALLY COMMUNICATE YOUR TRUE ROMANTIC and/or SEXUAL DESIRES, INTERESTS, and INTENTIONS to these women . As long as you had the confidence and courage to approach a woman, initiate a conversation with her, and let her know that you want to share her company at some point in the future in a romantic or strictly sexual manner, you have done your job . Similarly, when engaged in a conversation with a woman who is a Wholesome Pretender type or an Erotic Hypocrite type, never allow yourself to become argumentative, defensive,

and/or thin-skinned and sensitive in response to that woman’s harsh criticisms and personal insults. If you do, this will confirm to this woman that you are more of a Beta male than a genuine Alpha male . Whatever you choose to say to a woman … OWN IT . Never apologize for anything you say to a woman … no matter how profane or sexually explicit your comments were. Never back down from anything you say to a woman. OWN YOUR WORDS . Also, never allow women who are Manipulative Timewaster types to digress away from the topic of your sexual desires and interests. This is a very common ‘manipulative tactic’ of these types of women. MODE ONE PRINCIPLE #5 Unless you have a really good feel for a woman’s facial expressions and body language cues and signals, and you can quickly sense that this woman is going to be very receptive to your sexual advances, I would suggest that you never be too quick to use erotically explicit pornographic language with a woman; In most situations, you should wait until that woman allows you to move close enough to whisper in her (left) ear before you attempt to arouse a woman with ‘erotic sex talk’ (this is what I commonly refer to as a woman’s ‘Left Ear Zone’; A woman’s left ear is connected to the RIGHT SIDE of her BRAIN, which is the more ‘emotional,’ ‘spontaneous’ and ‘free-spirited’ side of a human being’s brain) . Probably 8090% of my raunchiest erotic sex talk with women has been when I was close enough to their body to converse with them using a highly self-assured, smooth, and ultra-seductive halfwhisper tone of voice into their left ear. Also, in those moments when you are not talking direct into a woman’s left ear, then always continue to look women directly in their eyes while talking to them. This is why MY EYES are on the cover. MODE ONE PRINCIPLE #6

Never behave toward a woman as if she is your ONLY option for romantic or strictly sexual companionship. You might think you are going to make her feel ‘special’ by flattering her ego in this way, but the reality is that the woman you are interacting with is going to perceive you as ‘desperate,’ ‘lonely,’ or ‘needy.’ That is a HUGE turn-off for women. Also, never ‘fawn over’ a woman with excessive compliments or be too quick to offer to ‘wine and dine’ and spend a significant amount of money on a woman who has not yet engaged in sexual activities with you, or at minimum, has not yet acknowledged that she even finds you physically attractive and/or sexually appealing; All of those ‘nice guy’ gestures cause women to perceive you as more of a supplicating Beta male rather than a self-assured Alpha male . MODE ONE PRINCIPLE #7 Always pay close attention to a woman’s words as well as their non-verbal behavior and body language. More specifically, always closely observe whether that woman is exhibiting congruent behavior vs. incongruent behavior. Women who are Reciprocators and Rejecters always exhibit congruent behavior. This means, their non-verbal behavior and body language is always ‘in sync’ with their words. Conversely, women who are Wholesome Pretenders , Erotic Hypocrites , and Manipulative Timewasters are going to always exhibit incongruent behavior. This means their nonverbal behavior and body language is going to be ‘out of sync’ with their words and in stark contrast to their words. Along these same lines, remember that compliments from women and criticisms from women do not mean much. Women who are Wholesome Pretender types and Erotic Hypocrite types will always use harsh criticisms and personal insults to ‘test’ you. Specifically, they want to determine if you are really an Alpha male , or if you are simply a Beta male who is ‘pretending’ to be an Alpha male. Similarly, women who are Manipulative Timewaster types will often compliment you and ask you questions about your background, your career, where you live, and academic and educational achievements. You never want to provide too

much biographical information about yourself to a woman in the very first conversation. Especially if that woman is just looking to recruit you to be her next purely platonic male friend or next financial or non-financial ‘favor provider.’ These seven Mode One Principles should be a good start for you. If you need assistance beyond this, look into reading my additional eBooks, paperbacks, and audiobooks that you can find on http://www.directapproachdating.com/books/ or Amazon.com So … just how would you earn those monetary bonuses in my hypothetical ’10 Women in a Hotel Conference Room ’ scenario? Monetary Bonus #1 : You will earn a $1,000 bonus if you complete all ten of your conversations with each woman in an hour or less. If you do everything that I have advised you to do, none of your conversations with any woman in that room should last more than five or six minutes on average. The conversations with the Rejecter types should only last for a minute or two. The conversations with the Reciprocator should only last four or five minutes. The conversations with the Wholesome Pretender , the Erotic Hypocrite , and the Manipulative Timewaster types should last no more than seven or eight minutes each. Monetary Bonus #2 : You will earn $1,400 bonus if you are able to successfully identify each of the three Rejecters and each of the four Manipulative Timewasters in 90 minutes or less. If you do everything that I have advised you to do, this should be no challenge at all. Again, when you verbally communicate your desires, interests, and intentions to women in a MODE ONE manner, a conversation with a genuine Rejecter type should be concluded in two minutes or less. The conversations with the Manipulative Timewaster types will

probably last a bit longer, but even those conversations should be concluded in approximately eight minutes or less. Monetary Bonus #3 : You will earn a $1,000 bonus if you are able to identify the Reciprocator in the room in one hour or less; You will earn a $1,500 bonus if you are able to identify the Wholesome Pretender in the room in one hour or less; And finally, you will earn a $2,000 bonus if you are able to identify the Erotic Hypocrite in the room in 90 minutes or less. The key is to eliminate just about all episodes of ‘fluff talk,’ ‘chitchat,’ and ‘small talk’ while in conversation with these women. You can engage in lengthy conversations with these women AFTER these women have revealed to you that they find you attractive and sexually appealing, and these women have openly acknowledged that they are interested in sharing your company in some sort of romantic or strictly sexual manner. You do not want to engage in lengthy conversations with women who are only interested in sharing your company in a purely platonic manner. Never . Ever . Reciprocator types are the easiest women to converse with. These women know from the beginning of the conversation that they have some degree of romantic and sexual chemistry with you. All you have to do is avoid saying something stupid, corny, or boring while in conversation with these women, and you are good to go with these types. Again, you never want to ‘over-sell’ a Reciprocator or become too aggressive and/or too persistent. If you do, they will lose interest. Rejecter types are usually not harsh or mean-spirited when they reject your desires and interests. These women just know from the beginning of the conversation that they have no romantic or sexual chemistry with you. Furthermore, these women are not even interested in sharing your company in a purely platonic manner. These women just really want to be left alone, and that is exactly what you should do. Never

become ‘pleasantly persistent’ or aggressive with a woman who is a Rejecter type. These women might just call the police on you for harassing them. Wholesome Pretender types are going to TEST YOU , but you should be able to pass all their tests if you remain cool, calm, collected and confident . Erotic Hypocrite types are going to TEST YOU EVEN HARDER than the average Wholesome Pretender type will, but again, if you demonstrate your Alpha male sense of confidence , masculine backbone , and erotic dominance , you should pass their tests with flying colors. Manipulative Timewaster types are women who are not at all interested in sharing your company in any sort of romantic or strictly sexual manner, but these women are very much interested in recruiting you to become a new purely platonic male friend of theirs … or more so, these women want you to become a short-term or long-term financial favor provider for them (i.e., a ‘Sugar Daddy’ type) or they want you to become a short-term or long-term non-financial favor provider for them (i.e., a ‘Helpful Handyman’ type). When you choose to engage in lengthy episodes of ‘small talk’ with these women, you are playing right into their hands. With these women, you always have to introduce your specific sexual desires, interests, and intentions into the conversation. This is a MUST . If you fail to do this, you are going to end up wasting a lot of time with these women (and maybe, time AND money). Mode One Behavior provides an effective ‘upgrade’ to Mode Two Behavior; Mode One Behavior virtually eliminates the need for Mode Three Behavior; And Mode One Behavior effectively prevents lengthy visits into ‘The Mode Four Zone.’ Always look women directly in their eyes while conversing with them. ALWAYS .

Always verbally communicate your romantic and/or sexual desires, interests, and intentions to women in a highly selfassured, upfront, specific, and straightforwardly honest manner . ALWAYS. Always closely observe if a woman is exhibiting congruent behavior vs. incongruent behavior while in conversation with you MODE ONE Baby … Go Out and MAKE THINGS HAPPEN FOR YOURSELF!! Was this your first time reading this book?? READ IT AGAIN. READ THIS BOOK OVER, and OVER, and OVER, and OVER AGAIN UNTIL MODE ONE BEHAVIOR BECOMES NATURAL TO YOU. THIS MAY TAKE A FEW WEEKS, A FEW MONTHS, or EVEN A YEAR OR LONGER. DO NOT GIVE UP!!! I SINCERELY THANK YOU FOR PURCHASING THIS BOOK. IT IS MY FIRM BELIEF THAT YOU WILL NEVER, EVER REGRET THIS PURCHASE. Be well my friend. Professional Dating Coach Alan Roger Currie

Wrap Up & Final Thoughts

If you noticed, I have modified the subtitle of this book from the original subtitle. Beginning with my 1999 eBook version and my 2006 paperback version, my subtitle was Let the Women Know What You Are REALLY Thinking . For this updated 2017 version, my subtitle is now Whisper Into a Woman’s Ear What Is REALLY On Your Mind . The reason for this modification is that many young men read my original eBook and paperback, and mistakenly believed that ‘being Mode One with women’ was representative of approaching women, and yelling out to them opening comments such as, “Hey! My name is Mark, and I want to fuck you!!!” No . Opening comments like this were not representative of what I was encouraging single heterosexual men to say to women. Not at all. The only moment in your conversation with a woman that you should be using (profane) sexually explicit language is when you have specifically identified that you are in conversation with a woman who is a Wholesome Pretender or an Erotic Hypocrite , and even then … you should be whispering those sexually explicit comments into a woman’s (left) ear . If a woman does not allow you to move close enough to whisper into her ear, then it is my recommendation that you avoid using any type of erotically explicit language with that woman. Some men ask me, “Alan, is following your advice guaranteed to help me have sex with women?” The simple answer is ‘yes … and no .’ If you are in conversation with a woman who is a genuine Reciprocator , yes. I would virtually guarantee it. Also, if you are in conversation with a woman who is a Wholesome Pretender or Erotic Hypocrite , and you demonstrate a high degree of effective verbal seduction skills and Alpha male type masculine backbone , you should be able to seduce several women into engaging in sexual activities with you.

On the other hand, you are never going to successfully persuade or seduce women into agreeing to engage in sexual activities with you if those women are Rejecter types or Manipulative Timewaster types. You are guilty of ‘hopeful and wishful thinking’ if you believe you will be able to seduce a genuine Rejecter or a Manipulative Timewaster . Contrary to what many professional Pickup Artists (PUAs) as well as other Dating Coaches and Seduction Gurus will tell you, there is no ‘magic pill’ for seducing women . If a woman is not attracted to you, and she has made up her mind that she has no interest in sharing your company in a romantic or strictly sexual manner, there is really nothing you can do to change that woman’s mind. Again, if a woman rejects you, simply leave her alone and move on to the next woman of interest. Truthfully, I did not begin exhibiting Mode One Behavior with women for the sole and specific purpose of engaging in sexual activities with more and more women. That was maybe my second or third highest priority. My first priority and motivation for exhibiting Mode One Behavior with women was to quickly identify the women who were not interested in having sex with me (i.e., the Rejecter types and the Manipulative Timewaster types). I hate wasting time engaged in a lengthy conversation with a woman who is never, ever going to agree to engage in sexual activities with me. I literally do not want to converse with a woman for more than approximately five minutes or so if that woman has no interest in exchanging orgasms with me at some point in the near or distant future. Believe it or not, since 2002, I have had more men criticize Mode One Behavior than I have women . This has been mind blowing for me. The reason is, many men have admitted to me that they would rather lie to women , mislead women , and manipulate women’s emotions in order to motivate women to have sex with them. This is what a lot of PUAs and other Dating Coaches condone and encourage. Personally, I have no desire to ‘trick’ women into having sex with me, and

particularly if my interest is in one or more episodes of shortterm and/or non-monogamous sex. Final piece of advice: quit whining and complaining about the various aspects of women’s behavior that you do not like or that leaves you feeling frustrated. Only concentrate on two things: How you choose to behave toward women … and how you choose to allow women to behave toward you. That is it. Nothing more. Be well my friend. This is YOUR life. Live life to the fullest. Moooooooooooooooooooooode Oooooooooooooooooooone. Go out and make things happen for yourself.

Alan Roger Currie Author & Professional Dating Coach

Other Books I Would Recommend As I mentioned in my acknowledgements, there are several other authors whose books, philosophies, knowledge, and wisdom influenced many of my own principles and philosophies to one degree or another. Inevitably, I am going to leave someone out, but here is my list of books you might want to consider reading that I consider to be of high-quality: James Allen - As A Man Thinketh Daniel Bergner – What Do Women Want? Adventures in the Science of Female Desires Dr. Brad Blanton - Radical Honesty: How To Transform Your Life By Telling The Truth Dr. Harriet B. Braiker - Who’s Pulling Your Strings? How To Break The Cycle of Manipulation and Regain Control of Your

Life and The Disease To Please: Curing the People-Pleasing Syndrome Nathaniel Branden - The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem Kelly Bryson - Don’t Be Nice, Be Real: Balancing Passion For Self with Compassion for Others Dr. Susan Campbell - Getting Real: Ten Truth Skills You Need to Live An Authentic Life Dr. Stephen R. Covey - The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change Dr. Susan Forward (with Co-Author Donna Frazier ) Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You Dr. Susan Jeffers - Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway®: Dynamic techniques for turning Fear, Indecision and Anger into Power, Action and Love Alfie Kohn - Punished By Rewards: The Trouble With Gold Stars, Incentive Plans, A’s, Praise, and Other Bribes Rom Wills - Nice Guys And Players: Becoming The Man Women Want

About the Author

Alan Roger Currie was born in Gary, Indiana and is an alumnus of Indiana University where he received an undergraduate degree in Economics with a minor in Psychology and Theatre & Drama.

Currie hosted a talk radio podcast program for nine years titled Upfront & Straightforward with Alan Roger Currie that featured interviews with many of the world’s most well-known and well respected Dating Advisors and Relationship Advisors. Currie has also hosted an adults-only podcast program titled The Erotic Conversationalist which features interviews with men on any topic related to helping women improve their sex life and orgasmic pleasure and satisfaction.

Currie has conducted many speaking engagements and workshops in several major cities in the United States as well as many international cities such as Berlin (Germany) and London (England). Currie offers Email consultations, Skype & Telephone consultations, and One-on-One / Face-to-Face dating coaching sessions with men all over the world. For more information, visit

http://www.directapproachdating.com/coaching/ Additonal versions of this book are available in German , Portuguese , and Spanish