Your Child Goes to School [1961 ed]
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Digitized by the Internet Archive in
2011
http://www.archive.org/details/childcraftyourch14fiel
CHILDCRAFT YOUR CHILD GOES TO SCHOOL
I
IM
FIFTEEN
VOLUMES
VOLUME FOURTEEN
YOUR CHILD GOES TO SCHOOL
FIELD ENTERPRISES EDUCATIONAL CORPORATION Merchandise Mart Plaza Chicaqo 54, Illinois •
1961 Edition
CHILDCRAFT (Rcr.
U.S. Pat. Off.)
©
1960, U.S.A. Copyright by Field Enterprises Educational Corporation
Copyright
©
1954, 1949 by Field Enterprises, Inc.
© 1947, 1945, 1942, 1939 by Copyright © 1937, 1935, 1934 by W.
Copyright
The Copyright
©
1931,
The Quarrie Corporation F. Quarrie
6c
Company
Child's Treasury l l
'23 by \V. F. Quarrie
International Copyright
©
& Company
I960
by Field Enterprises Educational Corporation International Copyright
©
1954, 1949
by Field Enterprises, Inc. International Copyright
by
All
rights
reproduced
©
1947
The Quarrie Corporation
reserved. in
This
whole or
volume may in
part
in
not
any
be
form
without written permission from the publishers.
Printed in the United States of America
FAA
CONTENTS PAGE
Growing
What
from Commands? Can We Meet the Child Halfway? How Much Challenge Is Wise? Help Them Act on Their Own
Independence
in
Your Child Moves Beyond the FamAlfred L. Baldwin
ily Circle
What
Forging Ahead Through Independence
He Grows More The Age Learning
to
Good
a
Is
Children
Do
Situation?
Their
Own
Growing
.... .... ....
When
Has He? Use Judgment
'Us Kids"
.
.
Lois
Meek Stoh
Reaching Out to Wider Circles How to Loosen Apron Strings Teachers Promote Friendliness What Do Clubs Contribute? Being Alone vs. Being Lonely Scapegoats in a Group
Worth While
Life
10 10 12 13
13
....
Frederick H. Allen,
.
What About Disobedience? Do We Overdo "Being Big"?
M.D.
....
—
Needs
a Friend
What Makes a Good Friend? What Friends Are Undesirable? Help Your Child Make Friends
.... ....
Dawdlers and Dreamers "Problems" No Sign of Failure
—
.... ....
Teachers Foster Friendship
....
17
Children
.
A. Whittier
.
18
What Makes
18
Why Do Children Steal? Why Do Children Run Away?
20 21
24 25
Sex as a Part of Life Adrian H. Vander Veer, M.D. .
Attitudes
Are Important
Want
What What
Children
How
Specific Shall
Information
Is
to
47 48 49 50 51 51
a Child Tell Lies?
What Causes Withdrawal
Destructiveness
—A
?
Danger Signal He's a Child, Not a Problem When Life Seems too Hard
Day
....
26
52 52 53
53 56
....
57
58 59 59 60
Growth and Health
26
Know
27 28
Needed?
We
45
Trouble
in
Restoring Their Self-Respect
.
44
15
Reasons Underlie Behavior
George V. Sheviakov
.
44
45
Worry A Cause of Bed -Wetting Can a Child Be "Too Good"?
.
a Fellow
42
15
Friends Are Important
Why
41
Go Wrong
Things
Stability
Make
39
43
Nervousness Means Anxieties
People
PAGE
Reasonable
of Big Ideas
How Much
Results
Be?
What About Vulgar Language? What About Masturbation? What About Tomboys or Sissies?
.... ....
Preparation for Puberty
Growth
in Size, Strength,
and Co-
ordination
29 31
.
.
Herbert R. Stoh, M.D.
.
63
32
The Age
32
Strength and Skill Are Valued
63 64
Steppingstone to Maturity
67
Later Childhood as Prophecy
69
33
of the Missing
Tooth
Personality Goes on Developing Personalities
.
Is
the Goal
How Do You
Health
Roger G. Barker
and Louise Balance
What Your
Need Balancing
Change Behavior?
S.
Barker
....
Child Needs for .
^Catherine Bain,
Daily Program Fosters Health
37
How Much
37
What Are School-Age Hazards?
38
Relieving Children's
Medical Supervision?
Worries
M.D.
.... ....
70 70 72
74
74
\
Childcrai
1
1
i'\;
What About Punishment
154
:
1
Con em s
vii
i
P\GE
How -Can
Reports and Promotions Harold G. Shane
It
)>
.
Ways of Reporting Progress Newer Types of Report Cards What Is Good Promotion Policy? Ways of Grouping Children Should There Be Homework?
155
Parents Help?
Arithmetic
Is
193
"Snap"
a
195
Give Arithmetic a Good Reputation How Can You Judge Their Progress?
195
.
195
156 158 159 160
Discovering the Science .
Understanding Your School
.
161
World
of Glenn O. Blough 196
.
What Do Children Want
to
Know:
196
Schools Include Science
Homes Can
Measuring Achievement and Ability What Are
.Morris
.
.
:
Tests
Psychological
Krugman
.164
What Can Tests Tell Us. What Is an "intelligence Quotient"? Testing the Whole Child :
Can
Personality Be Tested
199
Keep the Spark Alive
162
...
Parents' Part in Testing
162
7
Contribute
164
How We
Li\t Together
John 17. Michaelis and Fannie R. Shaftel 2:2 .
165 166
.
167 168
?
Tests Plus Other Evidence
This
Is
"Social
Many
The World
New Forms
of
2
...
Paths to Social Studies
206
Facts
for
4
204
Done
Respect for a Job Well
Knowledge
.202
Studies"
Building Democratic Attitudes
207
Parents Encourage Interest
208
What
Reading Means to a A. Sterl Arflev 171 Child
What Preparation for Reading What Does It Take to Read? Rrading Is a Means to an End Difficulties
How
Can
in
Reading
172 173 1--
.
Parents Help?
175 176
Challenging Rapid Learners
Ernest Spelling
Is
Taught
Good
Emma What Music Means
to
Dickson Shechv 211
Children
212
When
213
Shall Lessons Start?
Horn
1
—
Children Listen to Music
179
Painting. Drawing, and
181
Spelling
Writing and Speaking the Ruby Schuyler 1S4 Language .
.
Meaning and Use or Language How Does Language Develop How Is Language Taught? Good Language Begins at Home :
.
How How
Children
in Art :
How
Grows
Artistic
Ability
217 218
.
219
Understand Perspective : What Equipment and Materials a Child
.221 222
184
185 rS>
Creating Through Language and Dramatics Moyne Rice Smith 224 Growing Through Expression
Harding 19c
Dramatizations Ease Tensions
Words Heighten Impressions
...
222
.
.
...
226 226
Learned
190
Collecting Ideas
Arithmetic Taught :
191
Providing Practical Props
22-
191
You*re in the Act!
22"*
Arithmetic Is
W
Where Do You Begin Can
Modeling
:
184
Experiences with Numbers
Lowrv
216
Jane Cooper Bland 217
.
Painting Serves a Purpose
.
21
Bands and Orchestras
1--
Progress in Teaching Spelling
How
Music for Children
Children Live in a Singing World
The Art of Spelling
Parents Foster
Children Need to Create
•7i
Live
Is
Arithmetic
227
Childcrai
Mil
l
PAGE
PAG1
The What About an Emergency Trip? Gentle Art of Visiting
Widening Horizons Making mi Mosi I
[brahy
01
.
.
E. Hewitt 231
The Library Welcomes Children Wh.it Programs
231
Rnd
in
Information
->s
236
Excursions
Finding Places
t
Go
.
.
The
Memory
Camp
Who How
Offers
to
New
Go
Shall
to
Choose
What Kind
a
Surroundings
Camp
257 258 262 262
Age Groupings?
of
Touch with
in
255 256
Camp?
Preparing Your Child for
Keeping
Lace\ Haskell 2 55
the
Camp Camp
Welcoming Returning Campers
263
237 239
.
Wh.it Arrangements Beforehand?
Making Excursions
He Jen
235
Adventuring Through Excursions Edward G. OJsen and Pauline W. Olscn 236 Wilms
Camps and Camping
234
Library?
House-Bound
Services tor the
Helping You
the
it
254
Voir Public Ruth
.
251
2411
Successful
240
Lingers
Boarding Schools A. E. Hamilton 264
Organized Groups for Hazel Osboni 241 Children .
.
.
What Do Croups Offer What Is the "Program"? :
Who
Are the Leaders:
What About Group
... ...
Discipline?
Choosing an Organized Group low Shall We Find a Group.2 What Croups Ask of Parents Your Part in the Group I
Reasons for Boarding School
How
We
Choose a School? Look for on a Visit
Shall
241
What
242
Keeping
to
.
Them Happy
at School
....
267 269
.
...
242 244
244 245 246 246
Looking Toward the Teens .
Florence Clothier,
What Is Adolescence The Children Are Confused, Too Your Trust Is a Good Guide
M.D. 270
2
Experiences
Away from Home
—A
Helen Steers Burgess 249
The Happy Traveler What Protection Can You Give?
....
Second Chance Teen-Age Brothers and Sisters Boy Meets Girl Life Is Earnest in the Teens Parents Do Not Stand Alone Adolescence
Traveling Alone and Visiting .
264 266
249 251
270
.271
....
271
273 273 274 275 276
These Are the Authors helping children to stand up for their rights or to give in. to be cautious or to be daring, to take the lead or to follow, as occasion demands. Roger Barker is Professor of Psychology at the University of Kansas, and Louise S. Barker is Research Associate at the same university. Together, they have
Frederick H. Allen, M.D.
When
in
Things
Go Wrong
ipage 45). takes
between a up some of the usual ways suggests He his parents. and school-age child prebehavior and acceptable more foster vou can vent some difficulties. Doctor Allen is highly regarded as a psvchiatrist and as Director of the Philadelphia Child Guidance Clinic. In addition to his book Psvchotherapv with Children, he has published more than fifty articles on child guidance. trouble
spots
made
Barbara Biber author of What Play Means to Your Child page 931. explains how children's understanding of the life around them, as well as their ability to handle their own feelings, expands through play. She is Director of Research and Chairman of the Department of Studies and Publications at the Bank Street College of Education. New York City. She wrote with others Child Life in School.
A. Sterl Artley
1
Professor of Education. University of Missouri, exReading Means to a Child plains, in
What
1
page
1
-
1
'
.
how reading
is
taught in present-day
schools. He shows how parents and teachers can co-operate to help their children read better and with more enjovment. To achieve this end. he
I
I
an understanding of the principles that un-
gives
valuable contributions to our understanding
of children.
Jane Cooper Bland
derlie effective teaching of reading.
teaches art at the Museum of Modem Art. NewYork Citx. She is the author of Art for Children. Volume 10 of Childcraft. In her chapter. Painting. Drawing, and Modeling (page zi she gives clear and simple recommendations for providing experiences with paints, crayons, and clay. Her suggestions take account of what children enjoy, what contributes to their development, and what a parent can readily supply.
Katherine Bain, M.D. in
What Your
-o
)
.
Child Needs for Health (page
.
presents specific suggestions for the kind of
dailv program of play. work. rest, nourishment, and happv relationships that keep a school-age child well. Doctor Bain is the Deputy Chief. Children's Bureau. Department of Health, Education, and Welfare. Washington. D. C.
Glenn O. Blough Alfred
L.
Baldwin
Discovering the World of Science (page 1. tells how science is taught in the earlv school grades, and how parents can stimulate children's interest in animal and plant life and the princi-
in
196
Your Child Moves Beyond the Family Cirexplains how a child grows more cle page 5
in
)
1
.
independent of his parents in the years from six to ten. He has helpful answers to that puzzling question: how can parents encourage a suitable degree of independence so that family life will go more smoothly? The author is Chairman. Department of Child Development and Family Relationships. Cornell University, Ithaca. N. Y.
ples of mechanics. This author. Associate Professor
of
try.
Volume
University of Man land. College consultant for Science and Indus-
9 of Childcraft.
Traveling Alone and Visiting (page 249)
has specific suggestions for making children's first longer ventures awav from home on their own successful. Mrs. Burgess is a well-known writer, whose articles frequently appear in parent-educa-
Roger G. Barker, with his wife, S.
is
Helen Steers Burgess in
Louise
Education,
Park. Md..
Barker
wrote Personalities Need Balancing (page 37 This chapter gives parents practical pointers for
tion magazines.
IX
ClIIIlM R\l
Leo
Cain
F.
1
his
I
chapter gives guide-posts for deciding whether for camp, for choosing a camp. is reach
your child is
Profcssoi of
I
ducation, S.m
I
rancisco State
Col
page Handicapped CmiJb in Schooi explains how the usual grade school can pro for tin. needs of some handicaps, and how liu
vide
more
classes,
ial
and
be
can
disabilities
severe
helped or
ih\.
special
through
for preparing him for the camp experience, and for co-operating with the camp staff so that his sum
may be happv and beneficial. This author wrote trie introduction on camp life for Barbara Morgan's book Summer's Children. iner
residential.
schools
Ruth
Florence Clothier, M.D.
in
Hewitt
E.
Making
Looking Iowaim mi
\s
tells page 27c normal expected of behavior be to the ime of boss and girls during adolescence. She sets at re>t some of the apprehensions parents have about these \cars by pointing out how parents can li\c
in
1
1
1
with teenagers without too much friction. Do. tor Clothier is Assistant President, \ 'ass.ir College. Poughkeepsie, N. V.
A. Whittier
Day
author of Children in
Trouble (page
5;
>
tells
the kind of guidance that helps such children improve their ways. As ChairmanDirector of the Minnesota Youth Conservation Commission, the author's time and talents arcsuggestions for
spent helping children
who
Ernest Horn Emeritus Professor of Education, University of Iowa. Iowa Citv. wrote The Art of Spelling This chapter explains how children page 1 learn to spell, and how parents and teachers can co-operate to improve a child's abilitv to spell.
—
The Hom-Ashbaugh
Horn has
Boarding Schools (page 264 1. He discusses some might make it advisable to send a child under ten away to school, and how
of the circumstances that
to select a suitable school. of the characteristics of a
Among
of Spellers.
A
Basic
written.
Howie
points out in Discipline
Director of the Hamilton School. Sheffield. Mass.. and a Consulting Psychologist, is the author of
and the
Series
are in trouble.
Hamilton
E.
.
Writing Vocabulary, and The Basic Vocabulary oi Business Letters are among the books Ernest
Hillis L.
A.
Most of Your Public Library
explains the services libraries offer,
)
tells
1
some of the reasons why children are sometimes untruthful, take other people's property, run away from school, or are destructive. He has positive
1111
and vou how von can give your child the feeling of at homeness in the public library. This chapter has valuable information for parents who are con cerned about children's reading tastes. The author is Associate Professor. Library School Pratt Institute. Brooklyn. N. Y. (page 251
He
gives a clear picture
good boarding school.
the books he has written are New School, and Boyways.
The Real Box
discipline in school means.
1
page 147) what good
He shows how
teachers
can create an atmosphere where children work productively, eagerlv. and with the least possible tension so that discipline does not become an acute problem. In addition to being the Principal of the Community School in St. Louis. Mo., he has for manv years taken groups of boys on summer trips to study the Southwest.
Alice V. Keliher
Lowry W. Harding Experiences with Numbers (page
writes about
190
1
He
explains
how
arithmetic
is
taught in
to-
and what experiences you can give vour child so that he will understand and like arithmetic. This author is Professor of Education dav's schools,
at
Ohio
State
sixtv articles
University,
Columbus. More than
of his have appeared in educational
Professor of Education. New York University, wrote What Schooi Mi ans to the Child (page 1231. This chapter explains how a child feels about going to school, what his relationship with his teacher means to him, and how the whole experience can further the development of healthv personality. Alice Keliher is the author of Life and Growth, and of Picture Fact Series.
maga/iiK
Morris
Helen Lacey Haskell Director of is
Camp
the author of
Lake Placid. X. Y.. and Camping (page 235).
[Yeetops,
Camps
Krugman
author of Mi isuring Achievemeni wd Ability (page 162'. explains what tests of achievement and abilitv can and cannot tell us about children.
.
These Are the Authors why
only qualified persons can give and interpret tests, and what part parents play in a testing program. The author is Assistant Super-
He
also tells
intendent of Schools in Charge of Guidance, New-
York City.
and how to make the
Child Development Adviser for the American Toy Institute, and a Child Development Con
Children Need Space and Play Ma-
sultant. In
terials
(page
106), she presents practical and
original ideas for using every available corner, inside and outside the house, for play and for toy
storage.
She
also lists the kind of toys children can
use well at each stage of the
everyone
Hazel Osborn Organized Groups for Children (page 241
),
how
such clubs and groups can further a boy or girl's development. She gives parents some specific ways of estimating the effectiveness of these groups, and suggests what parents can do to increase that effectiveness. The author, who has had wide experience in working with children in groups and in counseling their leaders, is Associate Protells
is
visits satisfactory to
concerned.
in
Grace Langdon
XI
fessor of Social
Group Work
at
the University of
Pittsburgh.
to ten-year-old
six-
period
Joseph Prendergast
eating nourishes a child's spirit as well as his body. She is the author of Food for the Young Child, as well as many bulletins, pamphlets, and articles on feeding children.
Executive Director, National Recreation Association, is the author of Children Need Time for Play and Hobbies (page 101). He discusses the unfortunate effect of too many scheduled activities on children, and suggests how free time can contribute to a child's wholesome growth. Parents will find this chapter useful in deciding what activities children should be encouraged to undertake.
John U. Michaelis
Esther E. Prevey
Miriam discusses
E.
Lowenberg
good nutrition
"Anything to Eat 76). She explains why
in
for the six- to ten-year-olds
in
This House?" (page
How We
co-author with Fannie R. Shaftel of Live Together (page 202), is Professor of Education and Director of Supervised Teaching at the University of California, Berkeley. This chapter explains
how
social studies
have combined and added
to the subject matter of geography, history, and civics, and how parents can extend children's interest in this field. He is the author of Social Studies for Children in a Democracy.
Edward G. Olsen is
the author
(with Pauline
in
Schools Influence Personality (page 133)
explains the part schools can play in developing
healthy personality, and the kind of school setting, teacher, classroom atmosphere, and program that will help a child become his best self. This author Director of Family Life Education in the schools Mo. She has been especially active in the parent-education program of the National Parent Teacher Association. is
of Kansas City,
Ruby Schuyler W.
Olsen)
venturing Through Excursions
of Ad-
(page
236). This chapter suggests a variety of short trips near home that the six- to ten-year-olds enjoy, with their parents or on their own. As you plan outings with your children, you will find the ideas expressed here of practical help in making an excursion successful. This author edited the book Schools in Community Organization.
author of Writing and Speaking the Language (page 184) is Curriculum Counselor for the school system of Glencoe, 111. Here she tells of the goals of language work in today's schools, and how those goals are being reached. She gives definite recommendations to parents for co-operating with the school in stimulating children's interest in writing and speaking well.
Fannie R. Shaftel Pauline
W. Olsen
How We
Edward G. Olsen of Adventuring Through Excursions (page 236), gives an exco-author with
planation of the fun and the values children find in exploring their own neighborhood.
may The
authors give specific suggestions for places to
visit,
co-author with John U. Michaelis of Live Together (page 202), is Associate Professor of Education, Stanford University, Stanford, Calif. The authors of this chapter explain how the so-
program in the present-day school has combined and added to the material traditionally cial studies
Chdldcraft
Ml
included in geography, history, and civics. They urage interest in liow people live together here and now. as well as how they lived in distant times and places.
pected to grow during the years from six to ten, and how parents can take account of that growth in daily living. Doctor Stolz is Deputy Superin-
tendent of Public State
sociate.
Harold G. Shane
Institute of Child
Welfare, at the Uni-
present
the
I,
Harold Shane
too.
Dean. School
is
Bloommgton. Ind. He is coauthor with E. T. McSwain of nation and the Elementary Curriculum, and. Education,
with others, of
Emma in
California
Reports and Promoti tor
of
the
in
versity of California at Berkeley.
tells the gt 155 system of reporting on children's work, grouping children in the cl room, and promoting them to the next grade. Parent attitudes that will support the schools aims
in
Instruction
Department of Education, and Research As-
Indiana
University,
The .American Elementary School.
Dickson Sheehy
Music for Children
(page 211)
Lois is
Meek
Stolz
Professor of Psychology at Stanford University,
Her chapter '"Us Kids"
California.
plains the reasons
why
page 10 ex being part of a group of i
good fun. is so necessary, development. She also shows how parents and teachers can use the good points in such groups and minimize the doubtful aspects. Among the books she has written are Your Child's Development and Guidance Told in Pictures. children, besides being for a child's best
gives sug-
gestions for musical experiences that will stimulate
the school-age child's interest in music, and discs
the question of music lessons. She
sponsible
for
11 of
of Music for the Childcraft. The author
Associate Professor of Education. Teachers Col-
lege,
Adrian H. Vander Veer, M.D.
re-
the planning
Family. Volume is
is
Columbia University. She is also the author and articles about children and music.
of books
George V. Sheviakov
work with children. Sex As a Part of Life fpage 26), Doctor Vander Veer discusses the good attitudes is
a psychiatrist specializing in
In the chapter
toward sex that parents can give their children in the years from six to ten. He also discusses the information children need to have on this subject before the adolescent years, and how parents can best give this information.
Friends Are Important (page 18) child needs friends, who is a good friend,
forth in
why
a
and how parents can help children make friends. He- is Professor of Psychology. San Francisco State College, and consultant to several school districts. I le is the author with Fritz Redl of the pamphlet 'Discipline for Todav's Children and Youth." 1
Moyne
1
Rice Smith
Henry H. Work, M.D. in
When
how
Children Get Sick (page 82)
sick children can
be cared for
at
explains
home and
how they can be given a sensible, confident attitude toward health. Here you will find detailed suggestions for keeping a child who must stav in bed quiet and contented. Doctor Work is Assistant Professor in the School of Medicine of the Uni-
author
of
Creating Through Language and
Dramatics (page 2241.
tells
how
parents
and poems.
A
child
is
Kentucky.
can
provide the setting and the materials that encourage children to try out their ideas in plavs. stories,
versity of Louisville.
Wilbur A. Yauch
highly imaginative.
and giving him an opportunity to give free rein to his imagination is an important part of growth. Movue Rice Smith is Director of the Princeton Junior Community Players, Princeton, N. J.
in
What
the Modern School Trying to Do?
Is
page 11-
.
gives a vivid picture of the goals of
today's schools in teaching subject matter,
and school
set-
possible to reach these goals.
He
Growth
iion
m
page 63
Size. .
si
Strength, and Co-ordina-
how
make it Associate Dean
ting that is
in
children
may be
ex
in
He
also suggests the kinds of teachers
Herbert R. Stolz, M.D.
and
furthering the child's all-around development.
of Instruction, Northern Illinois
Teachers College. DeKalb. 111., and author of How Good Is Your School? and other books and articles.
J7!
GROWING
IN
INDEPENDENCE
1.
YOUR CHILD MOVES BEYOND THE FAMILY CIRCLE
2.
"US KIDS"
3.
FRIENDS ARE IMPORTANT
4.
SEX AS
A PART OF
The
LIFE
six-year-old
who
starts
school for the
first
be a fairly home-centered boy or girl. By the time he or she reaches fourth or fifth grade, new steps in independence have brought about a shift in his social center of gravity.
time
is
likely to
His greatest concern during these years will usually be in standing well with his own age mates. Having friends, being part of a group of bovs or of girls, is as
development of a getting enough fresh
essential for the
rounded personality as for good physical health. One of during these years others of his
own
wellair
is
a child's chief jobs
is
learning to get along with
age,
and growing more independ-
ent of his parents.
Boys tend to seek the companionship of boys
and
to imitate their fathers.
Girls enjov plaving
with other girls and want to be like their mothers. Both boys and girls are in this way learning how to be men and how to be women. That too is an important part of their development during these years.
YOUR CHILD MOVES BEYOND
X
THE FAMILY CIRCLE ALFRED
L.
BALDWIN,
Ph.D.
Chairman. Department of Child Development and Famih Relationships. Cornell Universitv. Ithaca. N. Y. Pinney.
Monkmeyer
When you watch
your child lea\e for school for the first time one
period does present
morning
of these
in
September, you are
likely to feel that a fledgling
has
left
the
nest to \enture unprotected into the
comes to you with a shock that now the child must deal with strangers world.
It
an independent person. His associates will be plaYmates with whom you are unacquainted, who come from homes
as
mam in
which are unknown to you. This child must also learn to behaYe an appropriate wa\" toward a teacher, -
of
another comparati\e stranger. This is a difficult breaking point, actuahV more
you than for Your child, for he is wrapped up in the glorv of having grown to be a first grader. If you ha\e these misgivings, in a sense you are right. The school-age difficult for
child raising.
One
of
new dilemmas
in
the most obYious
dilemmas is the growing independence of the school-age child. Much as you want Your boYS and girls to grow into independence, you ha\e doubts
how
should happen. Of course. Your child has been dexeloping independence throughout the preschool period. The entrance into school surrounds the child with influences that further encourage him to ha\e his own
about
fast that
ideas.
Forging
Ahead Through Independence
Entrance into school pushes a child into independent activities, for it presents him with challenges he can meet oiiIy b\- acting on his own. A child maY ha\e to walk to school across busY
Childcrafi streets
in
many
kinds of weather. lie
may have been comfortable life
near home, but
in his social
now he must
learn
depend upon himself. If he is hurt in any way by his playmates on the playground, he must depend largely upon to
his
own
resources,
lie cannot run
to
He
soon learns that running to Teacher for even little mishap docs not make him well liked by the other chil-
Mother.
girls
new demands
that they justify often-
times bv saying that "everyone else does it."
Perhaps, in making your decision, you
own childhood as a guide. time most of us who are now
consider your
At the
were children, riding a twowheeled bicycle to school, or riding one at all, was the privilege of those over eight years old. Go back twenty years, and only the children over ten were riding bicycles. Today, first- and secondgraders commonly ride two-wheeled "bikes." There is no question but that a five- or six-year-old can ride the kind of bike used today. Bicycles, not children, have changed radically since Mother was a girl. This is just one of the many instances where "what I did when I was your age" is not a completely trustworthy guide. parents
dren.
The
teacher, a strange adult,
challenge. She
may
or
may
is
also a
not behave
mother. Her techniques may differ, her values may be unlike those of his familv. She has twenty to forty other like his
children to handle.
A
must be reaorder to be com-
child
sonably independent in
fortable in the school situation. Shall
can go tt) the movies twice a week. Some can ride bicycles to school. Some can even go downtown alone. Boys and girls come home with many
and
He Follow
the Leader?
At the same time, the child gets many new ideas from school. He finds other children have different rules and privileges from those he enjoys. Some boys
Teacher is a new adult who guides life in the schoolroom. "Will she like me?" "Will she be hard to please?" These are the big guestions to
first
graders.
Suzanne Szasz
only spells more work in cleaning up, but mud may be the badge of a he-man to a small boy.
To his mother,
mud
vou lead the young child into behavior that would have caused rebellion had the requests been presented in the form of a command. sarv, as
With
amenable to these propaganda techniques. None of us is completely immune to propaganda. But one of the characteristics of growing up is to base one's action increasingly upon the
becomes There
another angle to this, too. Traffic hazards have become greater, so that while a child may have the physical co-ordination to handle a bike, he may is
judgment to
lack the
know
street. It is
hard to
judgment
a child will
on a
ride just
city
how much
have in a tight spot. When you make a decision about riding bicvcles, or anv of the many other new steps in independence, you must make it with an eye to what your child can do at this point rather than with an eye to what you did at his age, or even what the other children are doing now.
He Grows More Reasonable
Some
independence of the school-age child stems from his going to school. Some of it is to be expected from the mere fact that he is be-
coming more mature. One principles of maturitv
make
two
of the basic
the ability to
decisions on the basis of one's per-
sonal values.
make
is
The young child can
a choice at
all.
As long
as
hardly
he
sees
he finds it difficult to make up his mind. Throughout much of the preschool period, a child's behavior can be guided by the proper techniques of presenting alternatives,
You make reinvitations. You
less
intrinsic values of the goal rather
upon the way
"Guess what we are going to do now." You wheedle and coax, if neces-
say,
is
than
presented.
may persuade
a re-
luctant four-year-old to take a bath
by
making a game of it or by telling him a story. Your six- or eight-year-old sees a bath as a waste of time if he is busy at something else. He may see it as a means of being more comfortable if the day is hot and sticky. It makes sense or it doesn't make sense, and that's all there to
it,
in his eyes!
This has both its comfortable and uncomfortable aspects, from the point of view of a parent. You need to justify vour requests with real reasons. You have to meet your child's arguments squarelv if he is to be convinced. But gradually, if he is handled reasonably, it is not so necessary to phrase each request in an enticing way. The child is less likely to be led by wheedling. He is
commands
also less likely to resist
just
because thev are put in the form of sensible directions.
The Age
courses of action to him.
quests in the form of
that goal
For example, you
is
of the growing
increasing maturity, the child
Your
Ideas
child shows in other wavs also
able to
make
choices for him-
As he grows
older,
he
that he self.
of Big
is
is
better able
workmanship enters the piclater childhood and spurs
Pride in ture
in
youngsters on
to
greater efforts.
Gendreau: Kaufman
to persist in the face of difficulties.
He
is
not so discouraged bv immediate frustrations. He may be able to stand them in order to reach some remote, attrac-
One
tive goal.
ments
ment
of the
major accomplish-
of later childhood
of diligence
own
the child's
is
the develop-
and industry toward
goals.
Of course, this may show up
and industrv chiefly in baseball or jumping rope. Your school-age bov or girl begins to develop standards of qualitv. He sometimes attempts more than he can do. He is not satisfied with two sticks of wood for an airplane, but tries to make one diligence
that looks can.
if
he
more is
like the real thing.
making
model
airplanes,
or
may
A
hard to knit or sew or cook. Hie goal selected is not as changeable it was earlier, nor as dependent upon
girl
trv
situation.
You
can interest vour school-age child in various kinds of activities. But vou must actuallv engage the child's interest in the activity itself rather than merelv present
it
opment
attractively.
With
the devel-
own, the child becomes better able to weigh of these standards of his
He
does not automaticallv agree that whatever his friend does achievements. is
right. It
is
possible for
him
that his friend or his parent fect.
Sometimes
parent
Why
is
it is
to believe is
not per-
easier to believe the
not perfect than the friend!
Less Desire to Be Neat?
Along with
at
even,
miraculously, at plaving the piano.
by the immediate
suggested
is
He
interested, practice for long
hours at being a second baseman,
what
& Fabry
to his
own
may show
this industrv
with regard
goals, the school-age child
considcrablv less conformitv
about clean hands, combed hair, a tidy room, or table manners. Your child docs not vet to
the
parental
wishes
Your Child Moves Beyond the Family Circle accomplishments as important for the attainment of his own goals. His earlier conformity, if there was any, was sec these
based more upon mere acceptance of vour rules than upon any feeling that such standards were important. Even this loss of good habits may be seen as a sort of maturity, despite the fact that it is discouraging to the harassed parent. Later on, boys and girls may become better groomed because they see the rea-
Then
son for looking attractive.
it
He
can be adult-like under the proper conditions. He can converse intelligently, show good judgment, be poised and self-confident, even take distion.
appointments
real gain.
Why
Are They so
maturity can vanish in a minute. Where an adult can continue to be rela-
mature even under
tively
Critical?
adult one minute and a two-year-old the next.
independence. He shifts from accepting your values to adopting those of his contemporaries. It in adolescence that this shift occurs
most markedly, but even of his
it.
home,
standards.
earlier there
He may become
of your ways,
Much
critical
and of your
of this critical attitude
seems to be a necessary part of becoming an independent adult. It is comforting to know that you can look forward to his returning to a deeper appreciation of your values on a more mature basis, after he has passed through the troubled is
unjustified,
but in our world
it
period of adolescence.
How Much Stability Has He? This growing independence of your child, despite the fact that
necessary,
and
desirable,
instability
Wheel
means that vou have
your child sufficient freedom to encourage his growth and still protect him from the consequences of his less mature actions. One of the problems that makes this age difficult is that these consequences can be serious difficulty in giving
striking
are signs of
the
will
Toward the end of later childhood, just before adolescence, the child shows
is
difficulties,
school-age child often behaves like an
Such
more
Yet
this
Parents Are the Balance
be a
a
in his stride at times.
it is
natural,
presents real
problems in the day-to-day routines. If he were actually mature, he could be given more freedom of choice. As yet, his judgment is by no means always sound. He shows his immaturity especially by the fact that he can easily become childish under the stress of frustra-
and limb. Most of the mistakes a preschool child makes are not likely to have permanent consequences. If he falls off the back of a chair, off the jungle gym, or even out of a tree, the to
life
risk
child
is
not too great.
who
is
The
school-age
careless in riding a bicvele,
in ice skating or
swimming, takes more
serious risks.
In gradually giving your child greater
freedom, you are often pulled in two directions. You love your children, even
though occasionally you are annoyed at them. The people we love have the power to hurt us as well as the power to give us happiness. When they do something wrong, we tend to feel ashamed for them. When they do something commendable or difficult, we are proud.
When
they are in danger,
ous about them.
The
we
are anxi-
natural
conse-
quence of loving a child is to try to protect him from danger, to push him to display maturity and good judgment,
Childcraft and 01
him from making mistakes committing misdemeanors. Loving to stop
your child tends to lead you to exert control over him. When yon see your Juki about to make a mistake, the natural thing to
do
is
to
tell
him
to stop.
a
serious mistake, there arc really only
two choices open
Natural as
it
to
Use Judgment
is
to eontrol the child
that he
he must meet challenges wisely. Ie must learn to use his own judgment. He must learn to resist temptation. These goals suggest that children must, on occasion, be allowed to make mistakes. They need occasionally to try to solve problems that are perhaps too difficult for them, and to exercise as much judgment as they possess. the developments of the school-age velop, I
period present especially strongly the
lemma
about to make
is
di-
of control versus independence.
two choices, the
these
first
is
not always casv and not always successful. To adopt the first choice is to be a democratic parent. But to be democratic implies that vou
must
but
it
is
actuallv settle the issue
with the child on the basis of things as they reallv are. It implies that vou must be convincible. Sometimes, perhaps vour child is right. You cannot enter into an
argument smcerelv unless vou
change vour mind if vour child's arguments are sound. To be realistic is to look clearly and
are willing to
honestlv at the dangers, the
and
risks,
the consequences without exaggerating
them. Yet loving vour child tends to make you anxious about his capabilities for meeting the danger. Thus, to be democratic demands that vou love vour child
formity.
problem of democracv
ideas,
a mistake, or
do.
he can make serious mistakes, vet he cannot easily be wheedled and coaxed into conBecause the child has big
try
vou forbid him to do what he intends to
clearly preferable,
von love, complete control is not neccssarilv good for him, nor does such control necessarily encourage him to become mature. If your child is to de-
you
to convince the child with real reasons
Of Learning
to you. Either
and yet
see his abilities
and
situation without prejudice. This in
is
his
the
the home,
after the preschool period.
What
Is
Reasonable Discipline?
your boy or girl wants to do something which you are convinced would be If
Where
Shall
There
is
We Draw
the Line?
no good reason
to think that
Now come
plans too ambitious to carry hold them back while youngsters rush pellmell ahead. out, so parents
A CONTRO
i PENDENCE
1
Your Child Moves Beyond the Family Circle home where there is the most freedom and self-determination is necesthe
sarily
homes have
the best. All
down
from the too-
to protect children
consequences
serious
rules set
their
of
imma-
You want to know where your child is. You want him to get a reasonable amount of sleep. You want to keep turity.
him out
of trouble, even
always keep
him out
if
you cannot
of mischief. Chil-
dren are almost always forbidden to plav in the street. If thev disobev the rule, they are punished. In these matters and a good many others, there must be some line beyond which you will not go in allowing unrestrained freedom to your
where to draw this line is a matter of common sense and good judgment. There is no magic formula for always securing the exact balance. First, you need to consider the probability and the seriousness of the consechild. Just
quences if a mistake occurs. WTien the consequences are clearly serious, then you must be sure of the child's judgment before you let him run the risk. The maturity of your child in this particular situation must be taken into account, too. All children of the same age are not equally mature.
equally mature in
all
havior, either. Pollv
is
A
child
is
not
aspects of his besensible about not
risking her neck. Polly also has a tend-
ency to undertake more than she can do J each week. Her sister is a daredevil, but has a good sense of time. ture the child, the
The more ma-
more he can be
al-
you need not feel that, on every occasion, you must be the first one to give in. If a mother is worried about polio, she may want to keep her child away from swimming pools, movies, and summer camps. Even assuming that her fears may not be warranted, she cannot live in a state of continual anxiety. She certainly cannot act wisely as a mother the rest of the time if she is tormented by worries whenever a son or daughter wants to go swimming or to the movies in the late summer. But if you say "no" at some points, you can try to say "yes" at others.
Your children can and if
better understand
tolerate restrictions at
some points
they have leeway in other directions.
"Dad
home
sure
is
fussy about our getting
before dark.
He
me down,"
gets
one eight-year-old. "O.K. We have to get home before dark. But you don't hear Dad vaking when we want to go on all-dav hikes or said
go
downtown
alone, the
way
Bill's folks
do," his brother answered.
The
only thing you can do
is
your best judgment in meeting these problems of freedom and restriction of the school-age child. Sometimes your judgment will be wrong, sometimes it will be right. There is one comforting fact that can always be kept in mind. Children are amazingly resilient. De-
tremendous differences in the way they are treated by their parents, most children turn out to be reasonably spite the
lowed to make important decisions for
healthy, well-adjusted persons,
himself.
is
a basic
warmth and
Not
Own
Feelings
be overlooked is your own ability to let your child have freedom without becoming unduly anxious. Even when your fears are not well grounded, to
if
there
a respect for the
he grows up. If you love your child and try to make him happy within the bounds of good judgment, if you sincerely want to let your child grow, vou will not be serichild's individuality as
Respecting Your
to use
ously disappointed in the result.
"US KIDS" MEEK STOLZ,
LOIS
Ph.D.
Professor of Psychology, Stanford University, Stanford, Calif.
Fred G. Korth
Mom.
But
all
the kids are going.
I've got to go."
en
-
This
is
the battle
To be
of later childhood.
with
to have
— to do what they are doing. what they have — all-impor-
tant.
is
other kids
is
with the baby on the receiving end. But, bv later childhood, his needs in relations with people have greatly expanded. Increasinglv. as he has matured, affair,
his relations
part of a child's increasing
two-way
independence from his mother and As children wean themselves from their parents, thev grow more dependent on other children.
as takes.
It
affair in
There
father.
with people have become a
which he
gives as well
are other changes.
An
infant
what he is, but a child that what he can do influences
receives love for realizes
people like him. He now wants to be important and nccessarv. In the early vears, being different from other children may seem an asset, but
how much Reaching Out
to
Wider
Circles
In the early years, only the family can give the emotional support so essential for the well-being of
any
now there
child. If devel-
opment is normal, there comes a day when the love of parents is not enough.
is
a
strong desire to be like
He
wants to be accepted by them and to feel he belongs to a group of children who are at the same stage of development. other children.
Gradually, as a child grows older, he reaches out beyond the close, intimate relations with his parents
and and
sisters to find his girls of Ins
What ents
is
a
own
and brothers place with bovs
The World
uritv. It is a
"Our Gang"
Children from
age.
an infant needs from his parsc
of
arc
becoming
six
and seven
increasinglv
vcars
on
conscious
about being children. They arc gradually
one-wav 10
—
'Us Kids'
11
developing a child world, different and separate from our adult world. Thcv
from other children. Just as belonging and being accepted gives him a feeling
may
of self-worth, so exploring, finding out,
ways
stick together. In various
the}"
gang up on adults. They say "us kids" and "you grownups." It is a world of "secrets" from even their most-beloved adults.
This child world
is
like a laboratory
where children may experiment
man
relations.
Thev develop
in
hu-
their codes
what is fair and unfair in competition, of what kind of punishment is just, of what it means to be a good sport. They spend endless time in making rules and unmaking them! of
This
way
part of growing up. It
is
children build a
getherness," and learn of
sentials
democratic
feeling
some
is
of
"to-
of the es-
living.
Among
these are participation in decisions, sponsibilitv
for
behavior,
the
re-
and accept-
The Group Gives Prestige
which a child belongs is the ground on which he stands. To a great extent, the group determines his status.
He
to
goes "with the bigger kids,
not those babies." He is a "secondgrader." He swims "with the eight-vearolds."
He
is
a
member
of the
"Oak
Street gang."
This helps to define where he is in his progress, and what privileges he has bevond what the younger ones have. Bv belonging to a group he becomes "bigger and better," for he takes unto himself the larger importance of the group. Thus he increases his feelings of selfworth, an essential ingredient in the development of his personality. They Learn Together
A child
gives
him
a feeling of
com-
petence. Children together learn many things that parents or teachers never dream of teaching them. Treasures in a
dump
heap,
frog's
eggs
in
the gully
stream, what's at the end of the allev these are important to discover. Together,
hood
children
comb
the
neighbor-
answer their questions of what? wheie? and how? to
The Group Gives Support
A
child with a group sometimes does
things he
would not do
were around.
down
at
if
his parents
A child who has been held
home mav
dare to step over the
strict boundaries, if there are other children to give him support. Often, the
most popular boy or girl is the one who goes ahead and docs things. Perhaps he is free to do so or perhaps he dares to
ance of regulations.
The group
and learning
gains a stimulus to adventure,
courage to seek out, to explore, to learn,
flaunt adult rules.
The group often gives a child who is too "good" the courage to be livelier.
The hurt goes deep when one is excluded. Maybe he is afraid to play wholeheartedly; maybe the others call him "sissy" or torment him.
wx^ft&m Suzanne >zasz
A
group puts pressure on a child to do what the rest do. The group may laugh at and ridicule a boy or
seems at if
him
different.
They may
girl
trouble
names tease him
Sometimes
hurl
"Yellow," "Fraidy cat," "Sissy,"
you do,"
want him
"Ma-
but
still
to keep close to
down
the street.
noisy.
He comes me when
canyon, she protests truthfully, "Rut all the other girls did it." To lose face with her group, at eight, can be much worse
veils at J
us
all
Hughes
said, "I
hate
They in the
he
and mess and
are so rough
house
a
talks."
These are the years when the apron strings must be loosened. TTicn a child can venture out to make his way among his friends. lie will be confident that his family is there when he needs them. Rules and regulations should be clear.
than Mother's punishment. But the group, too, may keep a child from getting too far out of line. "You get
"what Mother
to have Jack playing with those boys
a bluff, ravine, or
You'll
They
to play with other children,
from climbing down
that.
parents to
accept such changes in their child.
thinks best." Mrs.
do
sometimes heard.
difficult for
it is
ma's boy" arc strong incentives to conformity. When Louise comes home with her feet wet and her dress dirty
can't
is
How to Loosen Apron Strings
who
he seems afraid, or he seems dependent on his mother. if
if
in
12
:
Us
what the other families in the neighborhood require. Each step in growth should bring with it a greater freedom, balanced by greater simple,
and
related to
responsibility for behavior.
The
chapter
Kids'
13
sions that children often will take out
on each other.
What Do Clubs Toward the
Neighborhoods Influence Personality, in Volume 15, has more to say
many
about
tivities.
this situation.
Each Will Find His Place
During with
childhood, the children your child associates each
later
whom
dav in the classroom become increasingly important to him. These children work and plav with him, compete with him, and also give him moral support.
Within the world
of
the
classroom,
each learns his place. What that place will be, the part your child will play in the group, will depend on a variety of things.
A
child
who
is
less
mature than the
the children often has difficulties. parents are pressing him to do well at
rest of If
school,
he may be tense and
less free to
find a place in the child group.
Contribute?
later years of childhood,
children join clubs. These offer
opportunities for additional group acthe leader
If
is
a
person of
genuine enthusiasm who is easv and natural with children, a club can offer a great deal to a child. Here may be the chance for the gang to have adventure and to explore, under leadership that does not repress enthusiasm but keeps activities within bounds. A child who may have felt lost in his classroom may be able to find a place for himself in these smaller groups. His casual relations with children in his neighborhood mav be cemented into friendships by this additional contact. The programs of the club mav offer him a chance for leadership because of abilities and interests that were not tapped elsewhere. The chapter Organized Groups for Children, in this volume, discusses this question in detail.
Teachers Promote Friendliness
lonesome and unhappv at school, if he feels out of things, or feels that the others do not like him, If
talk
vour child
it
is
Shall
We
Separate Girls and Boys?
Children scious
of
childhood,
over with his teacher.
become
sex for
increasinglv
differences
each child
conduring later is
learning
relations with his classmates will influ-
expected of him or her as a bov or girl. How this will affect the relations between boys and girls seems to depend on what they are learning about appropriate behavior. Parents, teachers, club
ence not onlv his attitude toward school, but his own feelings about himself and his feelings toward other people.
leaders, and older children in the neighborhood contribute to their ideas about what is "sissy stuff," or whether bovs are
The teacher influences relationships among children in her group. If she is warm and friendly, the atmosphere in-
"terrible."
what way your boy, or girl, is different from the others. Is it his clothes? Does he lack skills? Is he worried about something? Your child's Try
to find out in
what
is
weighted
Where toward
these influences are sex
differences,
sex
and
competition, and sex antagonism, children will tend to copy these attitudes.
domineering, however, she builds ten-
In a neighborhood where families and
creases friendliness. If she
is
strict
Chil ik:r\i
'4
i
school are more inclined to accept differences between children as natural,
by having mixed groups, and that the children enjoy doing and learning to-
emphasize common interests. there s L uns to be relatively little competition or antagonism between boys' and girls' groups.
gether.
and
to
girls
What will happen in any particular neighborhood depends on the attitudes of both children and adults. In one neighborhood, the seven- and eight-vearolds all plavcd together until a dominating girl moved in. She began to call the bovs "dirtv" and "rough." "We don't like boys" became her slogan, and
had separate en-
the other girls followed her leadership.
The Trend Toward Mixed Groups
The
modem
elementary school stands
in contrast to the its
school of the past in
attitude toward boys as boys
as girls.
The
old school
and
and separate playgrounds for boys and girls. Boys sat on one side of the classroom and girls on the other. Teachers had different standards of behavior for bovs and girls, and encouraged competition between the sexes. Today boys and girls use the same entrances and sit side by side in the classroom. They participate in the same projects and plav together at recess. Many club groups and camps still are organized for bovs and girls separately. Often there are different programs for boys and girls. But some camps for children include both bovs and girls. Thev find that the whole program is enriched
One neighborhood
trances
period of
six years,
group,
over
a
has included both
bovs and girls. Thev plav actively on the playground, take trips on their bicycles,
and put on plays at home. Thev enjov listening to the same radio or TV programs, or plaving games together. It is onlv now. as the more mature girls arc entering puberal development, that differences in interests are becoming endent.
A
child needs to feel close to his
sex group,
and
own
also to feel at ease in
playing with children of the other sex.
probably true that children who play in mixed groups part of the time It
is
Suzanne Szasz
When boys and
girls
work
side
by
side
they feel at home together and learn to appreciate one another.
in school,
Respect a child's desire to
be
alone,
ability
both
enjoy
to
the
for
company and solitude makes for a healthy balance
in living.
Rae Mussel
make the demands of
during later childhood
the easiest
to get acquainted with
transition to
social rela-
who know
tions during adolescence.
other children
each other well. If your girl is about the same age as the newcomer,
you can help by taking the Being Alone vs. Being Lonely
initiative in
bringing the youngsters together.
Children differ in how much thev want to be with other children. Some children, more than others, like to be alone, to do things independently. But
newcomer makes daughter,
it
will
your
with
friends
the
If
be easier for her to find
her way into the group. Your child will
be learning ways of being friendly to
A
they do not differ in their need for ac-
strangers, too.
ceptance by their playmates. If a boy or girl feels he belongs to a group that will
more confident if she has helped to make another child comfortable and
welcome him when he wants
happy.
to take
then he is free to choose. He can stay by himself with the inner security that being alone is his choice. He knows he was not left out by the others. He can join them later today, or tomorrow. You can certainly respect a child's desire to be alone once in a while. At the same time you can be sensitiye to the part in
shy
little girl will feel
its actiyities,
who
fact that a child
continually plays
by himself is losing his chance to learn ways of liying and getting along with people of his own age.
Newcomers
in the
Neighborhood
Scapegoats
a Group
Sometimes a group of children will pick on one child. They call him names, tease him, or poke fun at what he is doThis type of behayior
ing.
One in.
is
infectious.
may start it and the rest may happen in a classroom
child
It
holds the reins taut.
The pent-up
tions of the children get release through
annoying one of their group. They do not dare take out their resentment on the adult, e\en though he or she is the
A
child
home may
who
is
controlled strictly
at
place in a group, especially
ing another child in the play group.
has been together
a
long time.
the group It is
hard
or a
irrita-
boy or girl in a neighborhood sometimes has a hard time finding a if
join
club group where the teacher or leader
cause!
A new
in
express his feelings of
sentment toward
his parents
re-
by mistreat-
This scapegoat for the tensions of
Chilix:r\i t
id 6 other children
is
often
.1
child
who
is
from the rest of the group. Perhaps he is child who has been overindulged and spoiled at home.- In communities where parents have prejudices, he may be a white child among Negroes, or the only Jewish child on the block. In some neighborhoods the situation different
.i
may be
reversed.
In
settled,
a
shows
middle-class neighbor-
child
it.
one of the group who is "picking on" another child, you will want to do something about it. Perhaps pressures at home are too strong, and you need to let up a bit so he will not If
vour child
grandfather.
When
began to investigate, they soon realized what was wrong. Howard just was not like the other chilhis parents
dren in his classroom! Something had to be done. First, his mother bought him
is
and
he wear them to school. Then his father began teaching him to throw and catch a ball, to climb, and to chin himself on the bars. As Howard began to gain some skill, his father invited a couple of other boys in his class to join in their ball games. It was hard work for both father and son, but bv the time he was in the fourth grade life was much brighter for regular play clothes
from a migrant family may be the one who is mistreated. Sometimes the scapegoat is a child who feels ill at ease with other children and
hood the
grandmother bought him. lie enjoyed quiet games that he played with his
Howard.
Own how difficult
Hold His
have to take out his feelings in this way. Or perhaps he is just following the mob. and needs to be helped to understand what it does to the other child and to himself. The chapter Children Learn About Oiiilr Pf.ople, in Volume 15. has Yaluable suggestions for such situa-
Learning
tions.
kids in the next block
If
Is
"Picked on"
vour child is the one who is being picked on. Your job is more difficult. It If
hard to see one's own child as other children sec him. In such cases, it often helps to talk over the situation with his
is
teacher.
Howard was
in the third grade before
his parents realized
something had to be
to
it is for Fathers realize their sons if thev cannot hold their own
in a
group of children. Mr. Johnson
bv other the
kids.
me
up.
had
left
him
those his
ard was a good-looking boy
be dressed
in
who
liked to
the expensive suits his
all
school, afraid the get
me and
my
bov go
would
can't have
ill-prepared for the hurly-
burly of school days.
he usually
him and made fun of him. He begged to stay at home. How-
remember running
through that." His oldest bov was timid, more like a gentle little girl than a rough-andtumble bov. He had been born while his father was overseas and his mother had kept him close to her. She had taught him to be gentle and friendlv. but she
lie said the other kids didn't like
that they teased
I
bov
up
way home from
done. Ik was becoming really sick every morning when it was time for school,
him,
I
my
said.
get beat
"I can't bear to see
beat Your Child
insisted
If a
child feels confidence in himself, gets along prettv well with
own
age. It
ask a child to be "a
seems little
a
mistake to
lady" or "a
gentleman" too earlv in life. A child must feci free to find his own way. He must not be forbidden to use fists or
little
'Us Kids' words really
if
it
want
What we
seems necessary. for a child
is
a subtle balance
and courage. If he is spontaneous and enjoys active, vigorous plav, a child can usually work out his relations with the group without too frequent resort to fighting. friendliness
of
A
Bully
Needs Help
Often there
is
a child in the neighbor-
hood who is a bully. He frightens the younger and weaker children. He usually has a hard time with anyone his size, for
deep down he
blustering,
frightening
is
a
much good
to put the
bullv out of the group or to
tell
child he cannot play with him.
He
vour still
activities.
to
responsi-
carry,
and
The
chapter Neighborhoods
Influence Personality, m Volume has more to sav about this question. People
Each
Make
Life
1 5,
Worth While
of us. in our dav-bv-dav living,
needs the support of other persons to make life worth-while. Success is sweeter if
there are others to share
less
The
it.
Failure
people
is
if
a long one. It begins in infancy
and continues throughout is
a
cess in this will
show
life.
time of learning
to be part of a child group.
A
child's suc-
in his outgoing,
friendly manner. His failures will
A
show
withdrawals from group plav.
his fighting rels
is
others stand by you. building process of relations with
disturbing
in his F. P. G.
able
which to on a new
which will give him experience in sharing. Another is to teach him skills that will win him a genuine place in group
Later childhood
against the group.
does not do
is
leader can
him
to give
is
that he
bilities
covers
doubts about himself. Bulbing is a child's attempt to gain prestige. A bullv needs to be helped to build up his own strength so he can become a part of his own age group. He needs to be helped to gain satisfactions from doing things for, rather than It
One way
basis.
own
his
nuisance.
around, as a threat or a Sometimes a teacher or a club help the bulb' find ways in build relations with children is
coward. His
manner
17
and bullying, or
in
in his quar-
and sharp tongue.
be deeply influenced bv what happens in his relations with children. The extent to which he attaches importance to what happens to us rather than to me, and the child's character will
degree of his feelings of friendliness or of mistrust, will be affected. Children's
relationships with other children are im-
portant for companionship and fun, but thev are also a means toward future ad-
justment and basic happiness.
When
the bully feels he
part of the group, he is more likely to act with, rather than against, the other children. is
Gordon H. Lord
FRIENDS ARE IMPORTANT GEORGE
V.
SHEVIAKOV
Professor of Psychology, San Francisco State College. San Francisco. Calif.
sciiool-age
Toplaymates
children,
and
play
would be better off without some of the things he learns from his playchild
arc tmlv serious business. Except for the child who has no parents, there is nothing more pathetic than a child who docs not know how to play, or who docs not have any friends.
Why
You may
mates.
feel
discouraged at the
language or manners that "our
Jimmy You
certainly never learned at home.'"
can balance these with main less obvious but more fundamental things
a Fellow Needs a Friend
As children play together, they develop new interests and new skills.
Jimmy's or Man's growth, that they probably could not learn except from frequent association with other
Through
children.
association with other
ferent children, of the things
a
life
and
child encounters offers
vital to
dif-
more Working Out Ideas
than when he
plays alone.
Sometimes you ma\
The chapters feci
com]
that vour
8
of
Right
and Wrong
Other Children
Be-
More Important and He Gets
Friends Are Important
Along Better with His Playmates, in Volume 13. discuss the roots of friendliness,
shyness,
As children play together, they reinforce in themselyes feelings about "good" and "bad." When one boy takes the part of an outlaw or a crook, and his playmates arc the FBI agents or sheriff's posse, the crook is invariably caught and
The youngster who plays the part of the outlaw is usually only reassuring himself. Deep inside himself he is saying, "You see, you cannot get away with this sort of thing." This type of play strengthens certain values in youngsters, but adults frequently misunderhandcuffed.
it
The
nine-,
and ten-year-olds
tend to make rigid rules with severe penalties for their games. This is a part of the same desire to become organized
As
the
belief
whim and
impulse.
Gaining Understanding
Through
play
child learns to
of
Others
with his equals,
make
the
necessary adjust-
ments to others. These adjustments may be finding whom it is safe to outshout, when to fight, when to give in, and when to compromise. Children learn this much better from each other than from "preachy" parents or teachers. Usually, at about the age of seven or eight, a child acquires a close,
chum. Through
intimate friendships, through takhimself the welfare of the
ing unto
group, the child's natural self-centeredness
completely. eight-,
to live by regular set rules rather
than by
and out-and-out
unfriendliness in children.
stand
and
19
reduced.
is
true citizenship
mature
ment
A
foundation
and
solidarity
level in the future.
is
on
The
laid for
a
more
develop-
of the capacity to feel for other
persons has been emphasized as of para-
law triumphs in these endless play struggles with bandits, a child's own that "you can't get away with such stuff" is considerably strengthened. Ru? Arnold
w Firm friendships are founded on common interests, for school-age youngsters' chief delight is in activities.
and
psychologist were brought in on
a
the ease.
1
hey approached him gingerly
and psychologically, also to no avail. Then a neighborhood pal said to him simply: "Everybody is scared, but you get used to
After a while you'll see
it.
not so scarev." This did the
it's
When, two
trick.
years later, this bit of coun-
was discussed with the boy who gave the adyice, he said: "But I had an advantage. He knew that I was a boy of seling
his
own
grade."
What Makes a Good The F. P. G.
six-
to ten-year-olds are interested
in doing. In their eyes, the first qualifi-
cation of a desirable friend
mount importance bv most
affection
those activities are permissible, or at
The
it
in
play.
of
develops this ca-
Depth
it
and
of
should always be spected in a child.
treasured
The Children's Advice
May
and
least
re-
likes to
Common
not destructive."
ests certainly
Be Sound
urging
closely with children
report amazing instances of the wise
if
and
playmate,
impress upon the child. parents of a third-grade boy who
attended
a
rather
protective
is
—
fruitlessly to lie
to play together,
another prime requisite of a good friend. If you can go out and na-v, c'mm on over." call "Hey Skin you can put up with a good many shortcomings in Skinny at the age of six or seven or eight. Even mothers who are inclined to be choosy will usually settle for a few near-by companions who leave something to be desired, rather than friends at the other end of town or the other end of the school district. There is a spontaneous quality in neighborhood friendships that tends to be lost when
spoken in a child's own language, often accomplishes what parents and teachers have been trying 1
and Sue
thev never find anything to do. Availability
counseling the children give one another. A suggestion from an ad-
effective
mired
Man
inter-
cement There is no use
arc necessary to
the bonds of friendship.
Those who work
"someone
prac-
thought.
pacity through experiencing
is
do the same thing I do." Parents and teachers might quite properly modify this statement to "someone who enjoys the same activities, provided
most psychological schools
ticing
who
religions, as
well as by
child
Friend?
private
had been trying to persuade him The bov was afraid of the bigger group and the school,
to transfer to a public school.
tougher atmosphere. The boy's teacher
20
—
Friends Are Important
made in advance over phone, and when getting back and
plans have to be
the
from one home to another in bad weather or after dark raises difficulties. forth
We Demand Steadfastness? To an adult, a friend means is
loyal
a person
and trustworthy. These
qualities are not so
important to children under ten. Their friendships are more of an "off again, on again, gone again" affair. Undying devotion will usually have to wait until later years to find a place in their lives.
You have
probablv had the experience of trying to soothe an angrv sevenyear-old
home
or
parents would want to remove the stealchild. the Long-Term Effects?
In appraising our children's playmates
and our own children, we tend the
utter
crudeness,
to take
and
selfishness,
if they were permanent and fixed characteristics of the child. In dealing with children, one
periodic cruelty as
must always remember that a child transformed daily as he grows.
is
In the past, there was a tendency to see danger signs in every slight bit of
pressed professional researchers with the
friend!"'
fact that children
have tremendous
silience to adverse circumstances.
re-
Most
of them, in an almost miraculous wav,
tend to turn out much better than one would have predicted.
Friends Are Undesirable?
Parents usuallv want their children to be better than themselves, and therefore for
hand, most
you answer sympathetically,
at Pat.
turned against you. "What d'vu mean not plav with him! Pat's my best
hope
off
He's a
mad
"O.K. Then don't play with him anymore," you may find your child's anger
What
yet,
misbehavior. Studies of the same children over long periods of time have im-
nine-year-old
declaring, "I'm
stinker." If
who comes
And
ing child from association with their
What Are
Can
who
undesirable.
21
companions who
Children, in their
own
are models.
way, seem to de-
from plav and playmates. can afford to be cautious in making decisions as to which plavmates are desirable and which are harmful. But we tend to judge these things in the light of our own adult goals and rive a variety of benefits
We
needs.
Some
observers of children will tell you that often, if your Bill or Nancy has
temporary association with a child with undesirable traits, it may in the end a
strengthen
the
opposite
attitudes
in
your boy or girl. If one of their plavmates steals from them, Bill or Nancy learns in a tangible
way
that stealing
is
The parent who referees least, referees best, for children can usually work out their differences
unaided.
A
boy
is
likes the
not a "sissy" because
company
of girls.
Many
he real
boys do.
child of school age plays exclusively with
youngsters of the opposite sex, especially if he or she tends to avoid contacts with children of the
same
sex.
Again,
in
and
should not cause any concern, because many children act this way for a while. But take a close look at
bv
itself this
the relationship between the child and
the parent of the same sex.
enough companionship?
What Do
We
Need
Watch?
to
mean
This docs not
we should
that
her
there
the opposite
home that own sex is less
sex so preferred at feels his or
Is
Is
this child
desirable 7
Children between the ages of six and ten need a chance to be with the parent of the same sex, to imitate linn or her and to get the feeling that being a box or being a girl is a good thing.
take a Pollyanna point of view of children's associations. Parents ers, in a
and teach-
restrained way, should be con-
stantly observing the children
companions.
We
and
their
should be ready to
step in gently, but only
when
it is
really
called for.
Some combinations, some relationships
invite
patterns in
consideration,
al-
though not necessarily concern over a child, whether it be your own or someone else's. In each case there arc unique circumstances, but in the light of what the child's behavior means, we can decide better what to do about the situation.
Sometimes
Who Can't Stand on His Own A child who always runs to
The Child
Feet
his
mother, or withdraws from the game the minute the going gets a little rough, is probablv not getting the most benefit
from his associations. Has his mother encouraged this? Docs he lack selfconfidence? Can he be reassured so that he is able to fight his own battles? Sometimes a child uses bribes to get other children to accept him. Can vou find something in him so that he will attract other children without bribing? Does he have a feeling that his parents love him, not for being what he is, but
child plays successfully
only for being "good," or talented in
only with younger children. Usually the younger children do not directly harm
some way? This child docs have a problem and needs help, but most likclv he is not going to harm other children
this child,
try to
a
nor he them. Yet we should why the youngster gravi-
decide
tates to "safe" children
avoids
We
more challenging might
11
and apparently
psvchologicallv in any serious way. A child who is over-docile and com-
contacts.
plies
sk ourselves, too,
why
a
with any suggestions or demands other children needs help, too.
made by
Friends Are Important Has anyone been browbeating him?
Is
he ever permitted to assert himself
at
home?
him and build him our own child or one
Let's reassure
up, whether this
is
others into trouble through his tattling.
hard for children to distinguish
It is
between the necessity and
of reporting a dangerous action
good idea to
ters. It is a
How Can You Deal with The boy or girl who
Tattling?
different situations.
with
you that
The
consciences of
become recently have only J J
A
first-grader
horrified
Johnnv
may
tell
self-righteousness
took a piece of chalk from
made
an old woman, or said something "bad." It is likely that he is only trying to prove to himself, and to you, that he knows right from wrong. You can respond by calmly explaining that some boys and girls have not yet learned more grown-up ways of behaving. the schoolroom, or
The eight-
persistent or
a face at
tale-bearing
nine-year-old
who
stand well with other children gether different matter.
the
of
does not is
an
alto-
You might
ask
win approval from adults because he gets no satisfaction from friendships with those of his own age?" "How can he be helped to become more likeable so that he will not need to be a tattle-tale?"
yourself, "Is this child trying to
Possibly the tattler
is
trying to get ap-
proval from adults in this
way because
he does not get enough recognition in the ordinary course of events. You help the tattler most if vou look for and try to his
remedy the
situation that underlies
tale-bearing.
and the
Then you
let
them know-
that learning this difference takes a long
is always running to an adult with talcs of another child's wrongdoing will be disliked by the other children. But we need to keep in mind that tattling has different meanings in
acutely sensitive.
desirability
undesirability of tattling in trivial mat-
of the neighbor's.
six-year-olds
23
time indeed, and that everyone unavoidably makes
some mistakes while learning.
When Do You Need Is
to Interfere?
there danger of actual, permanent
harm
psychological
children
to
from
their playmates? If a child plays exclusively
with another child
who seems
to
be distorted in his personality, you should certainly take steps to enrich the youngster's social diet.
an older bov or girl w-ho does not get along with those of his own age dominates your child's play-life or the plav of a group of children, look into it If
carefully.
Some games
really
are
dangerous.
Fighting, or playing with sticks, sling shots,
BB
guns, and
or building fires
bows and
arrows,
should be permitted
under adult supervision. Sticks should probably be kept out altogether. In most other cases, you can let only
youngsters alone to fight out their battles,
but
out what
We
is
own
listen occasionally to find
going on.
are often unnecessarily shocked
your child or some other youngster does or says something that shocks you, remember yourself or your playmates at the same age. Youngsters can sav cruel things to each other, but in most cases this docs not leave permanent scars.
by
a child. If
can point
out, in a friendly way, that a person
who
minds his own business is usually happier and better liked than one who gets
Whose Values
The social
Will
Win?
family lays the foundation in the
development of the
child,
but
Cllll DCRAJ Liter the
the
It
and it
is
.it
playmates assert progressively incl greater influence on him.
relationship between the child least one of Ins parents is strong,
most
likely that the parents'
system
of values will win out eventually. Youngsters seem to have the capacity to "store
away" the family
values.
Help Your Child
Whether your
Make
child
Friends
makes
friends
on the shy side, there are main ways you can help him. 1 o begin with, you can assume an interest in his friends. Treat them as if they were your own children. Help them, and, if necessarv. occasionally scold them. A real adult assumes responsibility for all the children in the community. easily,
Set
or
is
an Example
of
them and
own
their
Let the door of your house and the gate to \ our yard be open to your child's friends. Children do best when they feel in
Elizabeth Hibbs Monfcmeyer
them freedom
give
interests.
to pursue
Cookies,
fruit,
and
should be part of your hospitalwhenever possible. Budgets may
a smile ity,
but smiles fortunately need not be budgeted. If the children like to come to your home, you place yourself in an advantageous position because you know vour children's friends. When you are going for an outing, let limit the cookies,
vour child invite one or two of his friends to come along as often as possible. \
there are several children in
If
our family, they can take turns inviting
a friend.
Respect vour child's friends equallv. no matter who their parents are or in which section of town thev live. Most likelv vour child is getting something important out of this friendship. Let
him make
Friendliness
welcome, when we show confidence
1
his
own
choices.
How Can You Handle
Criticisms?
vou don't approve of vour child's friends, don't criticize them. You can raise questions occasionallv. Don't question vour child about his plavmates, either. Try to wait for the time when vour child feels like talking about his friends, and then listen. It is better not If
to hurrr these matters.
Express tolerance and faith in other children.
Your
child will take
it
as a
vou don't
sign of vour faith in him. If
what the other child did, don't say: ." say: "He is bad "He has not ." or: "He has not grown learned vet up vet the way the rest of vou have. He
like
.
.
will, in
X
If
.
.
time."
one child
in
vour familv
starts criti-
Have a welcome in your heart and in your home for your child's friends, and you
will
be richly rewarded.
Friends Are Important cizing another child's pal, cut
it
Make
Friendliness Easy
Do
not overburden your child with the role of host. He is not ready for it yet. Occasionally you can remind him of his duties. When your child goes to
remind him that he is guest and has to behave according to
a birthday party, a
the standards of the house. It is also all right to tell the other parent to be firm in case your child misbehaves.
Situations are sure to arise that tax a child's social ingenuity
and
his or her
happened in Kathy's case. Eight-year-old Kathy had made plans to play with her friend Gladys on Saturday. Then Kathy was invited to Grace's house. Grace was a friend from summer loyalty,
as
dav camp who lived several miles away. Kathy admired Grace and would have liked to be her friend. At Mother's suggestion that Kathy ask both Gladvs and Grace to play at her house, Kathy protested, "But Mother, you don't understand. Grace and Gladys don't even
know
each other." It took some explaining to convince Kathy that she could not walk out on
her friend Gladys, and that her two friends could be invited at the same time. It also
meant
that
Mother needed
something attractive, like dressing up or making cookies, for the little girls to do Saturday afternoon. If Grace's invitation had been for to
provide
some
special event, say a birthdav or a
boat
ride, a different
been
in order.
Then
plan might have
might have been possible to show Kathy that she could tell Gladys the whole story and invite it
her for the following Saturday, did it in a friendly spirit.
Teachers Foster Friendship
short:
"Betty is Susie's friend, not yours, and Susie has a right to have friends, too."
if
she
25
Teachers arc in a strategic position to become aware of friendships, cliques, or lone wolves in the classroom. They can find out who the neglected or persecuted ones in a group are, and frequently can discover why this is the case. A teacher can discuss the youngster's friendships with parents and other teachers dealing with the child. Teachers can work for a feeling of "togetherness" in a classroom.
The
feeling
he belongs, that he is wanted and needed by other children, makes for a good spirit in school and out. Once some feeling of "groupness" and a trust in the teacher have been established, a teacher can go farther. She can discuss with the group, while a lonely child is absent, how and what responsibility they could assume for him. inside each child that
Can You Help Them Understand One Another?
Let youngsters talk about themselves, about their various experiences, what they have done, and why. This approach has been found markedly to reduce tensions due to cliquishness. Through such discussions in the classroom youngsters discover in how many ways they are alike, rather than different. They discover that ings,
many
and
common
of the thoughts, feel-
experiences
to
and
them
all.
of
others
are
Suspicion, intol-
need to persecute each other tend to lessen. Acceptance of and affection for each other tend to increase. Children need friends, want friends, and usually succeed in finding friends. But some understanding guidance from erance,
a
adults can help satisfactions,
and
them to
to
find greater
grow through
associations with other children.
their
A. Devane>
SEX AS
A PART OF
ADRIAN
H.
VANDER VEER,
bers of his group, a child
the in-
age
mem-
this
have
been
if
to
You
you, will
his
want
parents,
for
to be reach
Attitudes Are Important
i^
the questions asked
answered
are
with answers that will help him.
I
particularly true
material
verification.
changes after he enters school. he interest in sexual matters so frequently
This
children
and learns new words. He also acquires new information, which is often incorrect. Your child is likely to shock you bv the language, the ribald rhymes, and the questionable stories he or she sometimes picks up. If, as a result of earlier training, he feels free, he brings
and think about as they do. The direction taken by a child's curi-
in earlier years decreases.
111.
friends
to play, talk,
shown
LIFE
m
real
must be able
osity
Lews
absorbed in achievement of one kind or another most of the time. But this is not a period without interest sex. The school-age child shares sexual information with his School-age
im-
and sex. Boys plav differently from girls. Most girK like dolls, while bovs prefer gnns and sports. Girls often think of boys as rough and tongh. while bovs sometimes regard girls as sissies. In order to maintain status with the
Kre-ieric
MX).
Child Psychiatrist and Psychoanalyst, Chicago.
mi years between five and ten. In portant changes take place in child's character. He becomes creasingly independent. He forms friendships with others of his own
;
satisfactorily.
is
26
The purpose of discussions about sex much broader than merely giving cor-
1
Sex as a Part of Life rcct facts. It
is,
rather, the fostering of
emotionally healthy attitudes.
chil-
If
dren arc to grow up into happy adults, thev must feel that sex of
a
is
normal part
27
dren stand every chance of developing
good
attitudes.
The way both child,
parents act toward a
every phase of working and
in
playing and living
life.
together,
sets
the
Sex is something so special, so intimate, so tied up with all human hopes and emotions that it has a unique significance in almost every known society.
tone for the feelings toward sex he will acquire. Children make the emotional
The
a spiritual in-
enjoy the companionship of the parent of the same sex helps a child feel more
surround the
and more
great religions give
it
terpretation.
We
do not want
to
attitudes, rather than the words, a part
of themselves. Plenty of opportunity to
like
him
or her.
processes of birth or the relationships of
What
men and women
with frightening mystery for our children. Neither do wc want to make it appear that facts are the whole storv, no matter how important or scientific the facts
may
be.
We
want
our children to grow up understanding that here the finest emotions of men and
women
arc involved.
Children need to feel that knowledge of sex is good, not bad, and that being a
member
of either sex
is
satisfactory.
and boys, men and women,
Girls
are
equally important in the running of the
world.
You
give
your children these
words and attitudes in dayto-dav living, not just when you discuss such questions directly with them. ideas in your
How
Are Good Emotional Attitudes
Conveying children
is
a desirable viewpoint to
not
difficult
mony and mutual ents.
If
Built?
if
there
is
har-
respect between par-
you yourselves are clear about
the scientific facts, and
each of vou is well satisfied with your own reasonably J if
j
sexual role as feci
man
or
woman, you
will
better able to talk about matters
connected with
sex.
no open favoritism of one child over another, and if each parent is If
there
is
ready to discuss sexual topics with rea-
sonable frankness and honesty, the chil-
The
Children
Want
to
Know
asked by school-agers often repeat the questions they asked earlier. "Where do babies come from?"; "How does the babv get specific
questions
and "Why are boys made differfrom girls?" The chapter 1 1 Learns About Differences Between Boys and Girls, in Volume 13, suggests out?"; ently
ways of answering these questions. The
new question
usually
is,
"How
does the
baby get started?" Sometimes it is put. "Why do babies have to have fathers?" Today, children see pictures of the birth process and of unborn babies in books, in magazines, and in museums. Consequently, at a younger age they ask more specific questions than thev might have asked a generation or two ago. Each question may be asked again and again. You will be less confused by this
apparently senseless repetition
if
you realize that the purpose of questions about sex is not only to obtain information, but also to gain reassurance. Children want reassurance against feelings of guilt arising from sexual play, sexual thoughts, or misinformation thev have picked up before. A child needs reassurance that it is "all right" to be either a boy or a girl, and that, whatever his sex, it is acceptable to his mother and father.
If you are pleased when the litter of puppies arrives, your children get the idea that new life is good.
Children
Have Some Queer Ideas
Your children talk freely, you may be astonished at their mistaken notions. If
Some
the incorrect ideas children
of
have f rcqucnth- are that birth takes place through the navel, by cutting open the abdomen particularly after overhearing a conversation about Caesarean section i, or through the mouth. Children have equally erroneous theories about (
sexual intercourse.
What and
tlicv
would not prefer
it
to
Speak Louder than Words
Your emotional
attitudes
when you
about matters connected with sex are even more important than your words. If you are exceedingly embarrassed, if your tone is harsh, or if you avoid the issue with "some other time"
"when
is
mav
stop
no parent can
talk
bad. and he
The
to say that
about sex with his child
school-age child
more
wants,
is
tween
six
readv
for,
and
detailed information than
the four- or five-year-old.
The
years be-
and nine are the time
to give
children specific information, for then
about sex are less intense than thev were earlier, or than thev will be later. However, long lectures and an their feelings
questioning altogether. It is safe
the
subject again.
You're older," the child feels
that his curiosity
Needed?
him from bringing up
discourage
talk
or
Is
A child's questions should be answered simply, with honestv, and in language he understands. But telling him more than he has asked to know mav
be
changed. Attitudes
Information
calmly as he can discuss the weather. This normal degree of embarrassment docs no harm. If you arc embarrassed, it may help you to
about pregnancy can be answered bv explaining that the babv grows for nine
remember
months
that
when
elaborate scientific vocabulary only con-
as
fuse a child of this age. His questions
a child asks a ques-
some idea of the Mother and Father must
tion he usually has
answer. Both
what
It is
helpful
first
his ideas arc. or
a
special
mother's stomach. this place
be equally ready with explanations, because boys and girls often check up on the sincerity and frankness of one parent by repeating the same question to the other.
in
and
is
is
You can
his
him that or womb,
tell
called the uterus,
like a thick
near
place
bag which protects
the babv from bumps.
Your
may
then want to knowhow the baby is fed inside the mother. The simplest explanation is that the mother's blood carries food to the babv.
to ask your child
what he has heard.
28
child
It's
fun to be a
girl
and
wear a gay costume. good to be a mother and sew. Such companionship makes a girl want to be like Mom. It's
Suzanne Szasz
does to the rest of her body. Questions about birth can be answered by explaining that there is a special just as
opening that stretches when for the baby to come out.
By
questions about physical differences be-
it
this
it
is
time
tween the sexes is the reassurance that bovs are bovs and girls are girls from the very beginning of conception. stress
the fact that each sex
heard that childbirth hurts, and this worries them. The fact of pain should not be denied, but emphasis should be laid
of the sex he was born.
on the doctor's ability to relieve it, and on the mother's ability to prepare her-
when
self for childbirth.
The
The
comes
is
girls
is
special
and "for
know,
too, that
to
his (or her) sexual parts, as well as the
bodv, will be like his father's (or mother's) when he grows up.
rest of his
If a
Membership
for in
old enough to marrv and
only."
not true.
point
is
Each child wants
in order to
The important
she
paratus inside her
fact that child-
is
Pride in Sex
girl
take care of them, and that this ap-
mother or babv. If this question is asked, you can assure your child that this
member
should be told that, like her mother, she is equipped to have babies
an experience a mother welhave a babv can also be brought out. A related fear is the idea that cutting the cord is painful to
birth
can
good, and
is
that one will remain always a
time, children usually have
You
How
Specific Shall
child
knows these
him
29
You
Be?
facts, it is easier
how
babies are
can use vour
own words
to understand
conceived.
answering
We
ClIII.OCRM T
30
explaining sexual intercourse to your Juki. It he already knows the correct.
in
names
scientific
body, and
for
the
parts
of
the
von can use these terms
if
bility
of discussing in
may be
about
talk
own
way.
"These are things family" sets a
just in the
employ them in your explanation. The way you feel about what you say. and how you say it, count far more than the vocabulary you
tone of discretion without mvsterv.
use.
both
readily,
will of course
you
When
they ask. children want an an-
them about the relationships between men and women. Sometimes it may seem easier to limit your explanation to the way animals mate, swer that
but that
tells
to miss the point.
is
The unique
What About Modesty? Seeing babies, vounger children sexes, or other children of the
both bovs and
girls
sexual differences. It a child to find that
is
also reassuring to
many
other individu-
he or she is. But the sight of the adult's body, even that of als arc built just as
the parent of the same sex, stir
Children react to this information in many different ways. Thev may be surprised, thev may doubt what vou have
may even be somewhat alarmed. They mav wonder if intercourse hurts either partner. They should to say, or they
in
does not, that it is one which married people express it
love for one another.
Sometimes
a
card by asking
that
He
truth. If
child plays his if
trump
his parents ever did
know the demonstration, he
should, of course,
he asks for
a
may
be told that intercourse is a private matter, never performed before a third person.
Answer your time.
child's questions
one
at
You need
not volunteer anything beyond what the child wants to
a
know. Giving more than like overfeeding. It causes
is
asked for
is
psychological
indigestion.
Some
of
conflict than
it
is
likelv to
allavs. Par-
can tactfully and casually avoid exposing themselves before their children.
What
if
Parents Cannot Discuss Sex?
Some
parents
who
earnestly
want
have correct sexual information are simply too embarrassed to give it themselves, and they naturally look for someone else to do the job. Thev may decide on someone whose professional training seems to fit him or her for this task. Unfortunately, this device seldom works well. Most children are even more embarrassed than adults about revealing their intimate thoughts to a comparative stranger. If somebody other than the parent is to help a child, it must be a person whom he knows well, someone he likes and trusts perhaps a near relatheir children to
—
tive.
There are good books you can put our neighbors
undoubtedly find it difficult to handle their children's questions about sex. Since this is an intimate matter which each family should have the privilege and responsi\
up more
ents
place in these conversations.
way
same
accept the fact of
relationship dignity and value has
be told that
will
of
age and sex without clothes on. helps
qualitv of the love that gives a marriage a
it
wise to caution the school-age
child against gossip.
we
its
in
your child's hands, such as The Wonder of Life bv Levine and Seligman. A
Baby Is Born by the same authors, or The Wonderful Store of How You Were Born by Gruenberg. Volume 9 in
,
Sex as a Part of Life Childcraft has
and useful
interesting
3i
point out that such language
is
not nice,
material to read with children in this
and
connection, too. Books are better than side-stepping the issue altogether, but
Restriction of vulgar language in polite
books, films, or lectures arc most helpful
when
they supplement rather than
remark that there are perfectly polite words having the same meanings. to
society If
is
certainly in order.
dirty
obscene
words,
become
substitute ioi discussion with a trusted
sexual
grow imp. Nothing can take the place of
topic of conversation, there
that.
eral
What About Vulgar Language? All
children hear vulgar
school-age
language and dirty
stories.
These cannot
be avoided. They are a part of growing up. Often, when words or phrases are repeated at home, parents wonder how to treat them. Violent condemnation onlv
makes the child is
guilty
and
secretive. It
best to explain things truthfully, to
questions
different causes.
stories,
a
or
frequent
may be sevA child may be
teasing a sensitive parent. If you think that
is
the case, you can ignore the lan-
guage, with the hope that
it
will eventu-
ally cease.
A
child
tolerance,
may be and again
testing his parents' it
is
better not to
appear shocked or horrified. But it may also be that the child who seems extremely concerned with obscenity is worried about something connected Carola Gregor,
Monkmeyer
Don't be shocked when the children whisper and giggle over vulgar
language. Your casual attitude
makes
it
seem
far less daring.
w\W
+&*.
-
J
i> -
:J*feJ
r& ^
mw,
CuiLDCRAl
52
!
masturbation)
taken
with sex
defense
questions or trying to set his tears at
away, and the fear or the lack of comfort is not relieved, then the child will be left in a worse state than before. The
Perhaps he feels the other children have some information he lacks. Then you can help him.by answering his rest.
I
the
is
persisting anxiety will soon cause If
Children Ask No Questions
Hie
who backward. He child
school-age
questions
not
is
and
feeling scared
ablj
asks is
prob-
He may
guilty.
question once, and been was improper. Von can try to
have asked told
toms
no
it
a
bring his curiosity into the open by
al-
lowing him to observe a baby being bathed or diapered. Yon can remark that some friend or neighbor is going to
have
a
more
book
substitute for
much
usually,
without
plav
masturbation occurs
or
and that he mav
ask any questions he wishes. Sleeping or
bathing with
nakedness
a parent, or
in
the home, should be curtailed gradually.
Any
previous false threats a child
mav
feelings.
What About Tomboys Parents
worn when
or Sissies?
a child imitates
the opposite sex. Such behavior
ado. thev stop. sex
If
children do such
and
or about his genitals,
aroused by groundless and frightening warnings last long after the child has correct information, and can influence later
Most parents worn- lest their child become involved in sexual play, or masthings occasionally
probably
curious or worried about sexual matters
reassure the child. Sometimes, anxieties
What About Masturbation?
all
is
than as a
it.
turbation. Nearly
direction.
is
to answer his questions
effective after discussion
some other
child can be told that he
have heard should be cleared up and taken back. If Mother or Father has been the one who made the threat, it is important that he or she be the one to
baby. Again, giving the nonques-
tioner a
A
in
symp-
uncommon.
Girls
is
not
mav be tombovs up
another.
by a "tomboy" vou mean a girl who likes active plav and sports, and who would rather wear blue jeans and flannel shirts than starched dresses, most seven-, eight-, and nineyear-olds would fit the description. That is entirely normal. But a marked and
Masturbation may be used also as a comfort against loneliness, fear of deser-
long-continued degree of femininity in boys or masculinity in girls mav be a re-
fear of criticism for poor school work, fear of an operation, or during illness. An operation on or near the geni-
action to sexual anxiety, to too close an
rcgularlv. then
the child
acting to anxiety which
is
is
usually
re-
often, but not
always, of a sexual nature. Unsatisfied curiosity lation
is
a
by too
common much
cause. Overstimu-
nudity in the home,
or by sleeping or bathing with a parent of cither sex.
is
tion,
tals is
may
frighten a child,
if
the purpose
not clearly explained in advance. In everj
made
an
attempt
to correct the
should
be
cause rather than
merely to suppress the
act. If
attachment to the parent of the opposite sex. or to rivalry
onlv the
with
a
brother or
sister.
If
case of excessive sex plav or
masturbation,
to adolescence. If
parents get unduly upset, they
may
nag or push the child to act as they think he or she should. Such tactics usually have the opposite effect from the one parents hope for. The pattern try to
Press Syndicate
Boys need the companionship of fathers to become manly. Girls need friendly mothers to become feminine, too, for each child copies the parent of like sex.
become more firmly fixed or is underground. More companion-
tends to
or she does not understand
driven
pening.
ship
with
Mother,
Father,
for girls,
for
or
boys,
doing things the child
it,
in
spite
of efforts
1 5,
will give
Services, in
a
safety valve
releasing this tension.
to
The
menstrual period or wet dream, which is the point described as "puberty," may be misinterpreted by
Volume
you suggestions about
is
sexual im-
frequently employed bv both sexes for
is
Family Guidance
increase in
Masturbation
pulses.
an indication that professional guidance is needed. The chapter solve
hap-
glandular stimulation from
a physiological
sexual problem which persists or
becomes worse,
is
the growing ovaries or testicles causes
with
enjoys, will usually correct the difficulty.
Any
The
what
first
the child as a sign of injury or disease.
find-
may
look on it as a punishment for past masturbation or sex plav, par-
Or, he
ing such help.
Preparation for Puberty
ticularly
threats about such behavior
if
were made
Puberty (the sexual maturing of a girl or boy) always upsets a child's equilibrium to some extent, particularly if he
berty are
earlier.
more
The
conflicts at pu-
severe in girls than in
boys, because parents seem inclined to
33
Childcrai raise girls
much more
strictly
than boys.
Preparation tor puberty reduces these difficulties greatly. It -gives the child reassurance and a feeling of control over
I
be noticeable at that time. plain
give your daughter a supply.
Some
girls
Hie average girl in the United States matures at the age of twelve, and the average boy at thirteen, but the limits of the normal are so wide that it may be necessary to prepare a child for puberty one-half or nine .is carlv as eight and
the penis in bovs are indications that
constantly,
time the children understand their own development. is
Even
if
grown-up
are displeased, because
daughter that there need be no restrictions on bathing, hair washing, or normal phvsical activitv during her menstrual period. You can avoid using words or prohibitions that encourage feelings of disgust.
it
like
the
they think menstruation may interfere with play. You can explain to vour
Rapid growth, the appearance of hair on the genitals, breast development in girls, and enlargement of years of age.
with
pleased
are
becoming more
women. Some What Signs Precede Puberty
ex-
the use of sanitary napkins and
idea of
his sexual impulses.
You can
A
father can tell his son that the bov's
now manufacturing sperm
testicles arc
as
the case with
is
even-
man, and that there will sometimes be a normal overflow during sleep.
the child has resisted sexual
Good
information before, vou will want to be sure he has it now, for it will help him
Growing Up
weather
changes the other sex experiences in maturing. You need not give this information at the same time vou explain his or her own development, unless vour
important that girls have these discussions with their mothers, and bovs with their faa trving
period. It
is
thers.
Explaining Puberty
You
to Girls
point
can
out
and Boys the
phvsical
changes that are occurring and express satisfaction with them. "You arc becoming more like me" is an idea that
Each
Is
sex should
be told about the
bov or girl should ask vou directlv. After a boy or girl has matured sexually, it is wise to discuss changes in the other sex. If
either vour son or vour daughter
protests that growing
up
is
a nuisance,
vagina that lasts for several days. A girl should know that this flow occurs in all
vou can accept the protest and assure her, or him, that many girls or bovs of the same age feel the same way. A boy or girl should be told that puberty cannot be prevented or delaved. and that, in time, he or she will see that it is nice to be grown up. The mother or father who has answered questions as they came up, and
women
who now
is
ration for
becoming
helps a boy or
girl
when
it
is
repeated
from time to time by the parent of his or her
own
sex.
A mother
can
her daughter that at about this age girls begin to have a monthly discharge of blood through the tell
until they are forty or fifty vcars
She can know, too. that she may have some warning of the onset of her old.
menstrual period. Peculiar feelings or slight cramps in her abdomen n first
able to give a proper prepaa
woman
or a
man.
has gone a long way toward helping a child feel that sex life.
is
reallv a
good part of
PERSONALITY GOES ON DEVELOPING
uohoimia. Black Star
5.
PERSONALITIES NEED BALANCING
6.
WHEN THINGS GO WRONG
7.
CHILDREN IN TROUBLE
Personalities go
on developing
in the school
even though the foundations have been laid in infancy or early childhood. As you watch and guide your children, your goal can be a balance. Caution and assurance, the abilitv to give in, the ability to defend oneself, conforming and resisting, all have an important place. years,
As boys and
girls try
to find a
way
of living
with parents, with brothers and sisters, with teachers and playmates, they too search for a balance. What they would like to do is one thing. What is expected of them may be quite another.
In their attempts to
work out a solution to their under some tension. This
problems, children are si iows up in ways that adults often find objection-
and sometimes in ways that get children trouble beyond the family circle. able,
in
If you are to help your children, it is necessary not only to see the troublesome behavior, but also to look for the cause of the trouble. \\ ncn vou have
understanding of why children behave as they do, you can usually take steps to help them find better ways of solving their problems. a clearer
PERSONALITIES
NEED BALANCING ROGER
G.
BARKER,
with.
But
much
so
Ph.D.
anxiety as will Billy's persist-
Balance
and S.
not cause his parents
will
ence in hitting his brothers and sisters, and his throwing things at his playmates with little apparent reason.
Professor of Psychology, University of Kansas. Lawrence, Kan.
LOUISE
it
Eyen behayior
Is the
Goal
not particularly bad in itself causes worry if it is a child's only way of meeting a situation. One mother complained, "Mary is so shy! In a strange place all she can do is bun- her
BARKER, M.A.
Research Associate, University of Kansas, Lawrence, Kan.
head
in
my
lap."
that
is
Another mother
said,
"I just can't let Billy in the street alone.
He'll
Parents commonly
ha\e two kinds
make up
to anybody." Mrs.
worried, "I don't
know
Brown
what's the mat-
tendencies that persist and threaten to
with Dayid. He'll let anyone push him around. He ne\er will fight for his rights." Mr. Blake said, "Mike's always fighting. \\Tiy can't he get on with other
become permanent
children?"
about their children. They worn" about extreme behayior of any kind. They worry, too, about of
worries
characteristics
the child's personality. Parents are
ter
of
We
more
want children to behaye appropriately, and to be well-balanced. "We want them to be honest, but discreet;
concerned about the persistent tendencies, and rightly so. If Jimmy heaves a rock at a playmate under extreme pro\ocation. his act will be deplored and dealt
but not "sassy"; good, but not "goody-goody."
spirited,
37
Childcrai
*8
May Not Look Like Improvement Some behavior that causes concern
Growth
I
and coaxing. Or you can the
situation.
change then, you
try to
Indirectly,
ma) actuall) be an ordinar) stage of development in most children. A friendly
change the behavior of your child. You might, for example, arrange for
baby often appears sin in the second he two- and threehalf of his first year. year-old tends to be contrary, Ilic eightyear-old is so eager to win at games that
a friendly, familiar
I
he ma\ cheat in order to do are examples of normal
so.
These
"stages'"
that
should not be cause for concern unless they
A
last
too long.
child
who
is
advanced
in
one kind
development, such as reading or mechanical skill, is especially likely to have too high standards set for him in of
other directions.
How Do You Change You can try when
havior,
to
a
shy child to a
you find that
change \ our
six-year-old
a
is
taking
pennies that do not belong to him, you may decide he needs a modest allow-
ance of his own. Direct actions will, of course, always be essential at times, for there are frequent emergencies in child rearing. But modifying the situation for the child is, in the long run, more desirable. Severe
measures often interfere with happy parent-child relations, and may develop persistent fears
Behavior?
person to accompany birthday party. Or, if
or
dependency
in
the
child.
child's be-
that seems necessary, by
such direct actions as ordering, forbidding, punishing, scolding, rewarding.
Providing the Right Setting
One small
study of the children living in a
town found
a striking relationship
Gendreau
Strange situations may be far less frightening
when
one can stay close to a friendly, fa-
miliar protector.
Personalities between the situation and the children's behavior. For example, the bovs in the third grade behaved more like each other at recess than Joe, when he was practicing his music lesson at home, behaved like Joe plaving "Black Man" on the plavground. This suggests that
knew is
if
we
what situations the "shy" child and sociable, under what condi-
Need Balancing to the porch,
and
the tree in a
little
39 said,
"Going
to paint
while."
She walked over to the tree, only a yard or two from the porch pillar, determination showing in her facial expression and gait. At once she daubed paint on the tree trunk.
in
free
tions the aggressive child
is
co-operative,
when the stingv child is willing to share, we would have a guide for dealing with some of the behavior of children that causes us concern.
What
Results from
Commands?
The
studv referred to above gives detailed examples of how some parents and children interact under everyday conditions.
This studv and the example following are taken from day-long records obtained bv trained observers. Although the two children in these examples are not vet in school, the principle thev illustrate holds for school-age children as
well
One
pleasant June morning. Margaret
Reid. a pert, prettv four-vear-old, discovered a ditch of muddv water near her front vard. In the course of her plav she
developed the idea of "painting" the porch with it. using a twig as a paint-
Scolding
Is
Usually Futile
Her mother came out the front door and bent down to the babv in the plav pen. After cuddling
him
a
moment, she
her eves and saw Margaret. She spoke disgustedlv. "Oh. Margaret, have vou been painting with water again?" lifted
Margaret did not answer. She just looked up at her mother with a pleased expression on her face, as if thinking. "Sure. I've been painting with water again. I like to do it!" Her mother continued scolding. "I told you not to. Don't get that on the porch!" She went to Margaret and brushed aside the hand that held the twig. Then she brushed down her dress, saying. "Don't get that on vour dress! Just look at you. I'm trving to keep vou nice and just look at vou!" Margaret hopped back onto the porch. She started painting the pillar in a deway. It seemed as if she painted on the porch both in spite of. and because of, her mother's rebuke. fiant, flustered
While the babv howled, the mother
brush.
Margaret was completelv absorbed in painting a pillar of the porch. She was intent on brushing the "paint" with
loudlv scolded again, "Don't do that on the porch! Do it on the tree if vou have
even, carefully placed strokes.
her
She stepped painting and went to the ditch, earning the bucket. As Margaret dipped the water, she kept up a running
mother's
command
The baby
to stop painting.
cried
attention
hard turned
so
that to
the
him.
"Why
on. I've gotta
to her feet, hurried
with a shrug of her shoulders, as if giving up. Margaret calmly went on with
to herself. "I've gotta get
this painting
done.
Come
get this painting done."
jumped
first
was a modification of
do you always paint?" she said to Margaret. "Why don't you play with the baby?" She went inside the house
commentary
Spryly she
to." Actually, this
It's
not wanting to paint
that is bad, so avoid
a
struggle by materiboth providing fruitless
als
and place
to paint.
Graphic House
her careful painting of the porch pillar. The mother came out on the porch
She said to Margaret, "I don't want you to paint there. Stop it.'" She was definitely giving an order. Margaret did not stop. She painted on, putting an air of unconcern around herself like a magic cloak.
again.
Threats Are Ineffective
The mother like
Daddy won't doing when I tell him."
said, "I
what you're
bet
"Why
vou play with your dolls and let that go?" her mother said disgustedly. Margaret kept on painting the porch pillar. "Listen, Margaret, don't vou go to that ditch and get any more water. Do you hear?" She spoke emphatically. Margaret nodded this time. The mother said, "O.K., you said you wouldn't and now vou mustn't." She went inside the house. The baby still howled. Margaret muttered, half under her breath, with
action was, at once, part of her play
and also
a further
purposeful nuisance
directed at her mother.
your hands
mother
all
garet kept right pillar,
"Don't wipe
over that porch," her
insisted with exasperation.
determination,
utes.
Again her mother discovered her busy at this activity and was upset anew. The muddy water smeared everything that it touched. She called out to Margaret,
Mar-
on painting the porch
poker-faced, but a
great
"Well, I'll have to get done with this, anyway." Margaret varied her painting bv painting all the objects on the porch, such as her toy stove and the stroller. She continued painting for the next seven min-
She paused, apparently expecting Margaret to obev at last. Margaret brushed her wet, muddy hands over the pillar.
Her
can't
little jittery in
her movements.
40
Personalities ''No!
No! No! Don't do
that."
Margaret
stopped momentarily, while looking around at the various things on the back porch. Then her eyes lit on the washing machine and, as if goading her mother purposefully, she said, "I'm going to paint vour washing machine." Her
Need Balancing
4i
paint, isn't it? Let's put this
vour
dress.
smock's,"
painting
water
is
You know
smock over wear good for
real painters
or "That water
is
with for occupation a perfectly good the
tree."
"Painting"
a small child.
"No, no. Don't paint the washing machine. You'll get it dirty." The mother returned to the house. Margaret went on quietly, dipping
Mrs. Reid might have provided Margaret with materials for painting that were more satisfactory than a twig and ditch water. In any of these, or in many other wavs, she might have avoided an
the twig into the bucket, painting the
unnecessary conflict.
mother
called,
tubs and the table. She swished a
little
paint onto everything on the back porch
except the washing machine.
Then
she
looked around verv disconsolately and said. "Well, I don't know what else to
We
ways of handling a undesirable behavior than scold-
There child's
Meet the Child Halfway?
are better
ing.
Chuck Thurston was
do."
Evidently she was through. There was nothing else except the washing machine to paint on the back porch, so she walked off to the honeysuckle bushes at the side of the vard, leaving her bucket
and "brush" behind. All in less
Can
than
a quarter of
How Can You Avoid
this
took place
an hour.
Battles?
Mrs. Reid is a good, loving, conscientious mother. There is probably no mother but can hear her own voice repeating Mrs. Reid's fruitless admonitions. Mrs. Reid's goals were good. She
wanted to keep Margaret relatively clean and to make her conscious of the extra work she was causing. Two reasonable aims for a well-balanced personality are to be clean, but not too clean, and to be considerate of others while still having one's own goals. But Mrs. Reid's techniques were not accomplishing anything at all. Certainly thev did not in any way improve her basic relations with Margaret.
Mrs. Reid might have altered the situation slightly by saving, "It's fun to
a bright-eyed,
He
was ten vears younger than his sister and fourteen years younger than his brother. Chuck's sister took him, one morning, to the first meeting of the Vacation Church School, intending to enroll him and sturdy four-vear-old.
him for the morning session. Chuck took one look at the strange
leave
place
and the unfamiliar people.
He
burst into tears and refused to stay. His
took him home. Chuck's family was faced with a problem. Here was new and, in their view, sister
Thev might admonish Chuck. Thev might shame him or encourage him. Thev might leave him the next dav, to sink or swim. But thev did none of these. The next dav Chuck's sister went with him again. undesirable behavior.
This time he was assured that she would stay. She had arranged to help in an older group in a neighboring room. In this
way enough
familiarity
and
security
were brought into the new situation to make it tolerable until Chuck could find the children he knew and the activities he enjoyed.
ClIILDCRAI
4-
A
amount of change in Chuck's made his first extended group
small
situation
experience a happy and successful one. and reinforced his confidence in his
I
him
told
coke.
Al
wanted a "There aren't any in
plaintively that he said.
there." Al was jovial, yet understanding.
Chuck
family.
raced back to the machine and started to put in a coin. His brother
final
called informatiyely.
Some weeks later, the day of the program. Chuck strode confidently
to the platform, recited his piece,
and
received the applause of the audience. It
was
clear that the chances of
hereafter
Chuck
making an easy adjustment
new groups were
to
materially increased by
this satisfying experience.
How Much
Challenge
Is
Wise?
Sometimes, incidents that seem trivial can go far toward gi\ing a child con-
and making him more self-reliant. Another episode in Chuck's life is a good illustration. Chuck was spending the morning at the hardware store and implement shop where his father and brother both worked as mechanics. Chuck had a dime and wanted a coke, but he found the coke machine empty. Chuck went to Al (his brother) and fidence
in there."
Chuck
"There aren't any
sadly returned. Al said
one" (meaning, go to the lunch counter around the corner This was said in a reassuring tone,
loudly, "Well, go get
)
.
but with definiteness, up to you to get your
like saying, "It's
own coke
if
you
want one." Chuck went back through a door to the machine shop. He walked yen* slowly. briefly.
He surveyed the entire situation He seemed unhappy. He felt
there was going to be a struggle about
coke business. Chuck skipped across the floor to his father. He whined. "I want a coke." His
this
father said, good-naturedly,
you go out and get
it?" It
"Why
don't
was exactly
the kind of tone his brother had used.
The father repeated, with a casual air, "Go to the restaurant and get you one." Chuck whined. "No." His father said "If you want one bad enough, you'll go get it." After another minute Chuck turned
nonchalantly.
and went
directly to Al.
and
said plain-
want a coke." His brother said firmly and good-naturedly, "If you want a coke, go and get one." Finally Chuck stamped off through the room to the back door. He seemed annoyed that nobody would help him. Apparently he had decided the only thing to do if he wanted a coke was to ti\ely. "I
go alone.
Chuck
ran eagerly up the alley.
He
Going by oneself to get a bottle of soda pop calls for poise and courage.
went into the lunch counter and hastily got on a stool. He acted as though this were an everyday activity. He was eager. Mrs. Wallace, behind the counter, greeted
him
way and said. Chuck." He was
in a friendlv
"You're kind of lost, silent and looked at her expectantly. She said cordially, said simply,
"What do you want?" He
"A
coke."
As she was getting the coke. Chuck busilv searched
in
his
pocket for his
money. Mrs. Wallace, seeing that he was looking for his money, said, "You got some money, have you?" She put his coke down in front of him. Seriously, he dug a little farther and handed her a
merits of soft drinks for children, at
dime.
nine-thirty in the morning.
Chuck watched the customers and the manager, and then turned to his
coke and took a satisfying drink.
When
he had finished, he quickly got off the stool and tore to the door. He dashed out onto the sidewalk and ran down the incline and through the alley. He raced through the door of the repair shop and hurried to his father. "Ah, Chuck, did you get a coke?" his father asked as a royal greeting. Chuck said, "Yes," in a quiet, calm way. The father asked,
"Got
a nickel left?" in a high,
boisterous voice.
Chuck
said,
"Yes."
Help Them Act on Their
Own
These few minutes of a bov's dav contain all the drama of deciding to do a difficult thing, and all the satisfaction of having accomplished it. Chuck's father and brother set the stage for his achievement, and undoubtedly added something to his psychological growth.
"Let
me know when you
get to the
money."
We
recognize, also, that sending a
voung
as
Chuck
to
a
need to boy as
lunch counter
alone would not be advisable in
many
neighborhoods. The essential thing about this childhood incident is that it contained for Chuck one of the ele-
ments that generally promote well-balanced development. This element is the opportunity to do important and difficult things bv one's own choice and by ones own efforts. It is clear that the coke was fairly important to Chuck and that getting it by himself was difficult. He was, himself, free to decide whether or not to get the coke. Although his father and brother put playful pressure on him to go for it, there was no indication that they would have disapproved or called him a baby if he had not gone by himself. Achievement Brings Satisfaction
The
Thev
could have destroyed this productive
psychological results of the situa-
tion for
by getting and giving coke, or bv slapping him down
Chuck
are also clear.
Chuck was
situation, either
quietly satisfied after his achievement,
him
and free to turn to other activities. It was not the coke, but the achievement of getting it on his own, that made him
a
and shutting him up. We are not concerned here with the
43
—
Childcraft
44 really
happy with the whole transaction.
with Margaret Reid's painting activities. They did not satisfy her and yet she could not stop.
Compare
development
a Good Situation?
Is
When we
from forces they arc too weak to cope with. Chuck, on the first day of the church school, could not cope with the situation, but his sister remedied that on the second day. Good situations provide children with the opportunity of doing things that are important and difficult for them by their own free choice and their own efforts. This was true of Chuck's situation
There
are, in general,
Growth
two situations
that deprive children of the opportunity
grow.
to
If
children are always given part,
thev are denied one of the greatest
satis-
factions of life
—
the satisfaction of be-
This would have occurred if Chuck's father or brother had given him the coke, or gone with him to the lunch counter. Chuck would have been pleased, but he would not have experienced the accompanying feeling of ing
successful.
means one that do interesting, difthings,
bv
his
own
one wise grandmother gave her daughter some sound advice, "Study your child so that you can help to provide the situations and
effort. Fifty vcars ago,
conditions for his best growth."
Robert White well expresses a basic truth about child rearing in his book Lives in Progress. the task of rearing and guiding children can best be represented bv the metaphor of raising plants. This should be encouraging, because raising plants is one of mankind's most successful activities. Perhaps the success comes from the fact that the husbandman does not try to thrust impossible patterns on .
.
plants.
tries
He
respects
their
peculiarities,
to provide suitable conditions, protects
them from the more serious kinds of injurv but he lets the plants do the growing. He does not poke at the seed in order to make it sprout more quicklv. nor does he seize the shoot when it breaks the ground and trv to pull open the first leaves bv hand. Neither docs he trim the leaves of different kinds of plants in order to have them all look alike.
The
attitude of the
husbandman
priate in dealing with children. It
competence and well-being.
mean
It
and important
ficult,
his
own
things without effort on their
docs not nccessarilv
stimulates a child to
.
machine shop.
Situations That Interfere with
it
Growing
speak of a good situation,
an easy situation.
children
protect
situations
Own
Children Do Their
therefore,
in the
given a fair opportunity.
this
What
Good
if
dren
who must do
the growing.
.
approthe chil-
is
is .
.
Situations that actually restrict chil-
dren from engaging in activities thev see as worth-while also denv them the opportunity for successful achievement. This
was
the
Reid, with
its
happiness.
Of
Margaret resulting tension and unsituation
course,
all
of
this
applies
only to situations not involving phvsical danger.
Children
mechanism eases,
seem
to
have a built-in
that will, save in exceptional
result in generally well-balanced
Wlicn you
see a lack of healthv bal-
ance in the behavior or pcrsonalitv of a child, vou can first ask vourself if it is normal unevenness of growth and to be expected. Then you can trv to nurture the desired behavior by arranging situations that give the child a chance to experience success in the phases of his ing where he needs
it.
Thus,
little
by
livlit-
vour child will achieve a well-balanced personality tle,
>?>
WHEN THINGS GO WRONG Keystone
FREDERICK
H.
ALLEN, M.D.
Director, Philadelphia Child Guidance Clinic, Philadelphia, Pa.
"the nervous child." In
its
use
it
can
cover almost evervthing a child does.
Children
have
many ways
can have more meaning when we sort out the ways a child reveals this quality called "nervous." In the main, a nervous child is one
of reveal-
ing that things are not right. Their
under some tension. Usuallv the term refers to a child who is anxious and who is under strain. The common behavior
behavior gives you signals. These
need about yourto consider vour selves, about vour relations to one another, and about vour child, as vou approach the trouble spots. The prinsignals tell
vou that you,
as parents,
feelings
ciples set forth in the section
It
signals are excessive activitv such as restlessness,
both dav and night.
can never
Under-
sit still" is
the
child
way some
ents describe their bov or
standing Yourself and the chapter Each Child Is Different, in Volume 12, will help vou understand vour own approach better.
"My
girl.
par-
Certain
habits such as nail-biting, thumb-sucking, hair-twisting, or
making
maces are evidences of strain.
He
feelings
Nervousness Means Anxieties
is
relieving
a
facial gri-
child under
these
through muscular
anxious
activitv.
The over-sensitive child who cries when events do not justify tears is also
Probablv no term is used more frequently and with less meaning than
anxious.
45
Ciiii.dcrai
4f>
Removing Causes \\ lien
\
of
on look
The
Nervousness at hair-twisting, nail-
whatever the bein tins light, you can see threats, punishments, or
biting, tearfulness, or
havioi
why
may
be,
restraints,
even rewards are ineffective in putting a stop to the restless motions. Usually such devices only concentrate a child's attention on his '"nervousness" and
make
him more uneasy. It by some chance you do stop one kind of jittering, the anxious feelings are likely to break out in
some other way. help Your child most
You
if
you can
change either the attitudes or the daily routines that are causing the anxiety.
Usually
children
are
worried
about
something they have done or think they have done, or about living up to demands they feel unable to meet. lliese so-called "nervous habits" arc to be expected in one form or another, and in some degree, at some times, in growing children. It is the extent and the intensity of the behavior that portant.
You need
is
im-
to recognize this in
order to maintain your perspectiye. At the same time, you
main
of course re-
what is going on when are most persistent.
alert to
these signals
Can
must
r
natural tendency of a parent
is
from pain and disappointment. But, even were it possible, protecting a youngster from everything that comes up in daily life that might be tedious, disagreeable, or even faintly alarming, would not completely free him from anxiety. Mastering the small doses of disap pointment and uneasiness that are a to protect a child
part of daily hying can give a child con-
fidence in himself and in the world around him. Gradually he can do things for himself. Then he will be better able to go places alone, meet new children, become part of a new group, or do what CYcr may be necessary in his daily life.
The
child
who
about making new
is
somewhat anxious
friends, going places
by himself, or sleeping in a room by himself, needs the confident reassurance from a parent who neither belittles the way the child is feeling nor gets caught in the
web
of these feelings. It
is
sible to feel so sorrv for the child
pos-
and
share his feelings to such an extent that
vou cannot help him.
The
so-called "nervous child"
who
is
"fussed over" and allowed to avoid com-
mon
experiences arousing some anxietv,
can become a powerful child in avoiding what he does not want to do. Such a
Protection Prevent Anxiety?
Children learn through successful experience that they can master some anxiety aroused in day-to-day living. They can deal with many difficult and
child can use his nervousness effectively
even painful situations when they have the understanding support of parents.
Attack Anxiety Indirectly
World War II, when children lived through many disrupting and dangerous situations without serious emotional upset as
ents,
long as they were near their parstrengthened our belief in the
sturdy quality of childhood basic relations were steady.
when
the
and ruthlessly
as a tool. In that
way he
avoids taking responsibility.
you can hold steady to what vou know a child is reach' for, and at the same time be sensitive to his anxious feelings, vou will be gixing the child the support he needs. It requires a nice sense of balance to do this. Making fun If
of a child's fear or his anxieties
make matters
would
worse. Gradually give
him
iN
,
You can't prevent all heartaches, but you can make them bearable by lending a sympathetic ear.
opportunities to work out his
him know you
lems. Let
do
and you
so,
own
prob-
believe he can
tend to strengthen with his own anxious
will
his capacity to li\e feelings.
Real trouble can develop if an anxious parent, who has a hard time letting a child feel some pain or discomfort, acts
on the
A
basis of that feeling.
child
may Loder
then get the idea, "Mother thinks it's too hard or too dangerous for me to go alone (or plaY with those children, )
(
or whatever
it
may
be), so
must
it
really
ble.
be more than
I could stand." through changes in your IndirectlY, attitude toward a child and in the way you handle him, you will help him OYercome his anxietY. Then he will have less need of his "nervous habits."
sion
them
being unreasonaTheY seek to remo\e this impres-
child regards
as
bv advancing more reasons. TIicy excellent reasons, but in the set-
may be
ting of struggle the\" onh' feed the
fire
of
conflict.
Children Appreciate Firmness
element restores calmness? A child wants and uses a quality of con-
What
What About Disobedience? x-\dults,
by and
approach the
large,
problems arising with their children on a reasonable basis.
At
The growing boY
or girl
bleness.
time after time to stop plaYing and come in on time. Now, there are some occasions
to
want what he
thus
created.
parents get quite disturbed
when
compromise on sup-
on and on. John had ideas of his own and expressed them. Here was the whirlpool in action! After about twenty minutes of reasoning, John's mother abandoned reasoning and said, "After this you get in here on time because I saY so
Both parent and child can be caught whirlpool
a
—
unreasonable. the
when
pertime might be in order, but such was not the case here. Excellent reasons were ad\anced by the parents the child needed to eat, theY wanted him to eat with them, and
wants when he wants it. This is reasonable to him. The fact that another child has what he wants may ha\e more appeal to him than the good reasons adYanced by his parents. In such a setting, parent and child are pitted against each other and appear to each other as being
in
who was
more apt
is
able requests of the parents. likeh"
se\en-\ear-old bo\
consistenth- late for dinner was asked
problems with feelings that do not harmonize with the reasonis
A
least theY try to.
to approach his
Johnm-
be\ond mere reasona-
\iction that goes
Some
so."
Much
their
47
to
his
mother's
surprise.
Cmi
4s
DCRAl
I
[ohnny responded by saying. "Why didn't you say so in the first place?" He could yield to a clear-cut statement, but
become the
reasons, in this ease, only invited argu-
without conviction and never
ment.
propriate, consistent limits.
not an argument against reasonableness. In fact it is in support of that, and points up the reasonableness his
[
is
of being firm. Foi a
growing child there
comfort in authority expressed by parents who, when the situation deis
solid
mands
can
it,
stand
steady
before a
them out. A child needs to feci, in word and attitude, the strength of an adult. That strength need child
who may
test
not be repressive or dominantlv
discipline
adult's tools
It is lost,
too,
and authority to repress and
when
parents act set
Then
ap-
they
deny the child the strength he needs.
Do
One
We
Overdo "Being Big"?
source of trouble
is
that
we
often
assume that the admonition "Now be a big boy and act vour age" is a stimulus to act as a "big bow" Sometimes it has the opposite effect. "Being big" may be just what a child does not want to do at
The values of being times outweigh those of being
that particular time. "little" at
or the boundaries a
up gives the child room grow. He can awaken and discover
more. need to see that this can be both exciting and anxietv-stirring.
it
The framework good parent to
control.
when
Growing up involves embarking into the new and unknown. It involves knowing more and being expected to do
but
can define help a child to grow. tive,
his
restric-
destroyed
own
a
framework and
sets
capacity to build his
sonality
knows he
(not
that
a
own
We
per-
seven-year-old
doing that!). This is the positive clement in discipline. It can be is
"big."
Childhood Has
Its
Own
Values
Overprotccting children and holding them to more babyish patterns are freA.
Devaney
Good-humored, friendly firmness can carry the day when arguments or scolding would make matters worse.
When
Things
quent sources of trouble, it is true. But too great a desire to push children out of their childhood and rush the process of becoming an adult can have unfortunate results. This can happen when becoming an adult holds all the values, and it looks to a child as if the quicker he can achieve that goal the better. This may mean to a child being big in a way not his own. It is imposed bigness. One bov expressed the problems when he said, "I want to be big but I don't want to be made to be big." Adults so easilv forget the values and fun of being a little child. In our society this attitude about being big is widespread. Generallv
it is
regarded as a sign
of weakness for a seven- or eight-vear-old
bov or babv,
girl
let
natural
to
want
to be a child or a
alone act as one.
it
is
or seven or even older to
some of his use some "baby
yet
when he
for a child
to
And want
how is
six
to cling
earlier satisfactions,
to
be
in
talk," to
silly
once
awhile.
A
Humor Saves the Day parent does not need to
Sense
A
of
foster or
even encourage babvish behavior. Wlien it
occurs, a sense of
valuable of
all
humor, the most
adult attitudes, can help
to maintain vour perspective and vour sense of values. This is a sense of humor in the best sense. A boy who was acting in a particularlv babvish way said to his rather irate mother, "One of these davs you will be telling what I am doing as a funny story." She caught the truth in this and the episode passed for both boy and mother. A sense of value was
vou
restored.
Worry
One
— A Cause of
of the
common
the child's growing up
Go Wrong nation.
trouble spots in is
control of uri-
Phvsical
defects
cause, but, just to
bv vour doctor
make
is
are
sure, a
rarely
a
check-up
wise. Like so
many
bodv, urination is peculiarly affected bv the daily nervous tensions that the growing child meets. activities of the
Sometimes
conflict
child's
a
"getting big" shows
up
over
in bed-wetting.
In clinging to earlier uncontrolled uri-
narv habits, a child this conflict.
An
may be
acting out
eight-vear-old girl with
high intellectual capacity was determined to do all the things adults did.
a
The
that she was so bright and
fact
capable led her parents to regard her as being a much older child.
During her waking hours she behaved and performed more like a twelve-vearold. But, when asleep, she was a persistent bed-wetter. Then, she was the little girl. She was being pushed and was pushing herself out of childhood too fast. The night problem was clear evidence of the lack of balance. Onlv as she was helped to have more satisfaction in being the eight-year-old child she was, was there anv change in this other problem.
Where
helped to grow out rather than be pushed out of infancv
and
a child
is
do he learns to behave
early childhood, things as a rule
not go far wrong, for in ways he himself finds satisfactory. The Bed-Wetter Needs Self-Respect It is clear
show up
that the child
whose worries
in failure to stay drv at night
can be helped onlv as the situation causing the worry is altered. Punishment and shame only make matters worse. Sometimes, as a supplementarv measure, it
Bed-Wetting
49
may
so that
help to give
he may more
bathroom
may
a child a flashlight,
in the dark.
serve
the
easily get to the
A
light in the hall
same purpose. These
Bedwetters are not naughty, but disturbed. Improvement usually comes when tensions are eased.
made to feel he must be what others want him to be. and always do what others want him to do. You can usually is
you let a child know you like him as he is, rather than continually stressing that you wish he were different in appearance, ability, avoid this state of
affairs
if
or disposition.
A
measures are helpful only if, at the same time \ ou can get at the real cause of the
A
six-
who
ne\er creates any
dis-
turbance, or ne\er rebels, maw by such conformity, proyide a sign that something is wrong. For example, an attracti\e ten-year-old girl began to complain of being nauseated eyery time she went to school. The doctor found her in per-
Elizsbeib Hibbs
difficulty.
child
fect
physical health.
and the
seven- or eight-year-old
girl
were
all
Parents,
teacher,
baffled.
She was
does not habitually wet his bed at night
regarded as a model child, always con-
on purpose, or out of laziness. Patience, tempered with the assurance and expectancy that he can be responsible for
She neyer got angry and was a "most obedient child." She always had her school work done and was ne\cr
doing better, gives him courage, too.
absent or late. Die puzzle of her daily sick feelings
The way trol his
a small child learns to con-
bowels and bladder
in
the chapter
I
\RN TO
I
13. arise
Some
siderate.
remained unsohed until the girl, in a few talks with the worker at the child guidance clinic, repealed some of her inner yearnings. She finally summed these up by saying, "I am tired of just doing what eyeryone wants me to do. I have wanted to say no but I didn't dare. I even wanted to play hookey." Hie parents were wise. They began to see their normal daughter in a new light. It had been so easy to exploit her goodness. Now they, too. were free to state that they, at times, wished she could be more asserti\e and be "a little bad." The balance was gradually restored, but it took a stomach pain to open the way to a healthier type of as-
discussed
is
Helping Your Child
USE THE ToiLLT.
Volume that may
ill
of the difficulties
with small children are discussed in
same yolume 111 the chapter Some Children Resist the Toili i. that
Can a
Child Be "Too Good"?
common knowledge
boy who is a "perfect gentleman" may be more of a problem than "that little brat." he first never causes any trouble, but his overconforming bcha\ior may be a mask for his anxiety that someone might dislike him or correct him. lungs certainly can go wrong if a child It is
that the
I
I
50
When
Things
She returned to school a
sertivencss.
happier and more natural
girl.
respect values different from their own,
not always
the child can be helped to do the same.
is
easy to get the growing boy or
"take" what
given. This
is
when
the
is
girl
to
A
growing child, for
many
way and how
of his
of his daily acts,
is
taking over a directing role that the parents are relinquishing.
come a
Two
influences
One is the readiness of go. The other is the will-
into play.
parent to
let
ingness of the child to play a
new
part
under varying amounts of direction. When he goes to bed, when he gets up, how he dresses, what he cats, when he does his school work, are but a few of the
daily
recurring
opportunities
for
two influences to operate. As children assume more responsibility for what they do, feci, and think, they need increasing opportunities to act on their own. This will mean that a child will do things in his own way and in his own time. He will do many things differentlv from the way his parents do. Yet he lives in an ordered world and has these
to learn to adapt his behavior to the
needs and patterns of others. Efficiency is not the highest good in life. Some "time wasting," some daydreaming are actually necessary for growing children.
You
are not being inconsistent
if you moderate amount of balance a pressure to get up promptly on schooldavs, for instance, with a moderate amount of libertv to "fool around" on Saturday mornings. The chronic dreamer may be under so much pressure that he gives up
trying entirely.
Not
—No Sign of Failure
the fact that things go wrong,
how you deal with them, counts for most in bringing up your children. It is no disgrace if these normal difficulties crop up from time to time. Nor does it mean you arc failing as a parent. It is a but
assuming respon-
in
"Problems"
true par-
response are under adult scrutiny. sibility
The good old-fashioned golden rule of "Do unto others as you would have
casv to say "give a child re-
sponsibility" for himself. It
ticularly
5i
them do unto you" helps to maintain the healthy balance. As adults learn to
Dawdlers and Dreamers It is so
Go Wrong
You
can recognize that tilings may go wrong, without looking for trouble, or without having a complacent attitude toward the danger signals. The key to the whole situation part
often
of
life.
lies in
the fact that the relation
ships in the family are not stationary,
but arc constantly shifting and developing. The technique that worked like a charm last year with your six-year-old may bring only "That's what you think' from the same boy or girl a year later. Ways of behaving change rapidly in the
six-
to ten-vcar-old period of a child's
Because of this, growing boys and girls need a healthy steadiness in their relations with adults. Steadiness on the part of adults helps boys and girls life.
gain a feeling of their to nourish
own
responsibility
and maintain ways of
living
helped them to establish. In most instances, things do not go too far wrong where parent and child learn together out of an inner respect each has for the other. One cannot respect another person unless one has a growing feeling of self-respect. With such a base, "things going wrong" often provides the opportunity to see things their parents
more
clearly,
steps to
and
to take constructive
work out the
conflict.
Carew. Monfcmeyer
CHILDREN A.
TROUBLE
IN
WHITTIER DAY,
B.A.
Chairman-Director. Minnesota Youth Conservation Commission.
When
a
what does not belong
to him, or
is
destructive, the nat-
Reasons Underlie Behavior
do something so he will not repeat that behavior. But punishment or a severe lecture, even if it ural reaction
is
to
A
for the fear or the confusion
way
There
a child behaves.
is
back of the
a reason for the
We
bov or
understands the reasons that drive him to misbehave. His behavior is his immature way of finding a solution to a problem. Insisting that a child tell why he skipped school or took something, often only
should put a stop to a particular kind of behavior for the time being, is not a cure child's action.
Minn.
onlv to find that the child's disturbance breaks out in other ways.
child says something un-
true, takes
St. Paul.
need to under-
girl rarelv
adds to his confusion.
stand the reason and alter the conditions causing the difficulty, if we are to give
The same
reason
may
cause one child
what does not belong to him, another to tell untruths, and still another to be destructive or stay away from to take
the child real help. Otherwise, we may put an end to one kind of misbehavior
52
Children school.
a
If
number
of children have
been involved in an escapade, each child may have misbehaved in the same way, for a different reason. Clearly, then, to
help the child
we must
remedv
try to
in
Trouble
without being shocked. "Well, Billy took one, too." Paul said. "We'll have to take them back," said his father. Then Paul asked, "Should we take the gun back, too?" kindly
The
the cause, not just stop the behavior.
way,
gun, as well as Paul's and Billv's
was returned to the Baker's
cartridges,
What Makes a
Child Tell Lies?
Children are untruthful for a variety of reasons. The way we deal with their untruthfulness should be determined bv what the untruthful statement tells us, for a falsehood mav be as revealing as a truth.
Because life as she knows it is not exenough, the six-vear-old girl mav tell her friends, or even adults, "On the way to school I saw a space ship with a green monster on it." She savs this with most convincing solemnitv, but vou will recognize it at once as only an exciting citing
it
why
tall tales
that make-believe has a place. Usuallv
sense
of
is
tall tales in a
short
one of the spots where
humor
is
a
more constructive
than a heavy-handed lecture. They
Lie
if
They Fear the Consequences
Sometimes children will lie to escape punishment or embarrassment. While six-year-old Paul was getting readv for bed, his father discovered a plastic cartridge for a play gun in Paul's room. His
father
asked,
"\\liere
more important, Paul learned such a way as to make it easier to
did
this
come
from, Paul?" "Don't know," said Paul. "Do you suppose you got it at Baker's this afternoon?" his father inquired in a
in
this tell
the
truth next time, and harder to take others' things.
They
Lie
if
They Feel Mistreated
Lving also
mav
result
from
a series of
experiences or a situation the child conbitter
listen attentively,
time. This
square things, even after bedtime. But,
the
are true.
she will outgrow the
quire a special trip to the Baker's to
lving in
and when she finishes remind her good-humoredlv that she knows this is make-believe, and So vou
out that keeping other people's propertv was serious enough to re-
siders unfair.
girl does not undershould be wrong to insist
these
it
He found
will
usual sense, for this
stand
house. From this experience Paul learned that truth was expected of him.
You
extravagance of imagination. certainly not consider
53
and
In this case the child
resentful,
and
is
is
trying to
even the score with those whom he feels are "mean" to him. To help him we must, of course, learn why he feels that others are against him. Sometimes even a slight change in the arrangements of daily living can make a youngster feel less mistreated. Such a small thing as more time alone with Mother or Father may make him feel better about himself. Then he will have less need to tell lies as a way of "getting even." Punishment, in such cases, can only make matters worse.
Why Do Stealing
mav
Children Steal?
occur earlv in a child's
experience, and, as in Paul's case, chil-
dren usuallv do not know the full significance of such actions. might help our children if we made sure they understand why lying, stealing, and other undesirable behavior are to be discouraged.
We
The youngster who shows a "mean streak" may be finding no satisfactions in life. He may feel that he is unloved, worthless,
noticed,
and not
fully appreciated.
pilfering
this
might lead
to
these children taking articles of greater
worth. Certainly the occasional raids of
our city youngsters upon the property of merchants who have purchased it arc a serious matter, and must be dealt with as carefully as possible.
Why, we must
ask
ourselves,
is
it
necessary for groups, including boys or
from good homes, to indulge in such escapades? Do they lack enough girls
opportunities for acceptable recreation
and play?
Is
there a leader so
command-
ing that these youngsters will Frieda Zylstra
group?
With
the
six-
interesting,
them
to ten-year-olds,
as
well as
it
may be
instructive,
to talk oxer with the parents
do any-
thing to win and keep a place in his
What do
these children do with
their stolen articles?
meet?
thc\
for
why
tions
may
Ilie
Where and why do
answers to these ques-
suggest ways of substituting
bad practice to lie and steal. Certainly, if no one told the truth, people could not tell whether or not we were going to pay our bills, or go to work, or come home. Similarly, if everyone stole all he wanted to, we would have to live from day to day, for we could never keep things for any length of time, not even
other actiyities for stealing.
clothing or food.
Six-year-old Helen had always played with the neighbor's children without
When They
any
it is
Children sometimes steal just for the thrill and adyenture of it. While this motiye may lead to serious problems, it is no more serious in its beginning stages than stealing arising for any other reason. Stealing
Steal for Thrills
Sometimes boys and because others
in their
girls
steal
May
Be Due
to
Anxiety
was suddenly noticed that she began taking small toys from
only
difficulty.
It
home. whether she had them
group are doing
the
This accounts for the apples, watermelons, and numerous other eatables it.
When
neighbor's
asked
or not, she in-
variably denied the theft.
Even when
way into our children's hands and mouths (perhaps into ours, too, when we were their age? without
the missing article was found in her
being purchased.
her knowledge.
that find their
pocket, or shoe, she explained that some-
one
)
If
permitted to go un-
54
else
must have put
it
there without
Children Helen's father was in a sanitarium.
mother had unconHelen how upset she was. Helen had lost the comfort and security she had formerly enjoyed in her own home. She was troubled and anxious without knowing why. Fortunately. Helen's mother was able to get help with her financial problems. She made a great effort to spend more time in comforting and assuring Helen, and the worried
Helen's
sciously relaved to
seem
reason for stealing often
may not
to relate directly to anything. It
may be
the attempt of a child to soh e an extremely upsetting situation bv acquiring things.
It
would almost seem
that, in these instances, children expect
to feel
more
secure by haying a large
quantity of things for themselves. Tins is
55
homes in pleasant neighborhoods become chronic pilferers. even one is puzBut are these children really getting what they need from life? It is pos-
zled.
sible that everv
often the hardest kind of stealing for
parents to handle, and the one that
re-
quires professional help. Here. too. pun-
ishment only makes matters worse.
Can Be a Form
Wlicn
children
Resentment
of
er or sister
may be
of
at
the root of the trouble
when
a
child
Rebellion
from
a broth-
others' property.
of their davs
homes so well-ordered, that they have no chance to do anything on their own. They may >
^o well-planned,
and
their
be rebelling in their need for independence, and the rebellion takes the form of stealing.
ties to test their
takes
comfortable
strength and to have
independent adventures of kind.
When
cause
it is
a
wholesome
such opportunities are denied them, they may take to stealing bethe only adyenture that seems
The
sections Play in Child Experiences away from Home, in this volume, have suggestions that may be helpful for desirable kinds of independence and adventure. Stealing may also be an attempt to "get even" with someone the child available.
Life
and
thinks has a Stealing
moment
School-age children need opportuni-
stealing stopped.
The
Trouble
in
more
favorable position.
Jealousy for a brother or sister
considered
carefully
must be
when one
child
When
things look dark-
some children run away. The feeling that someone will stand by them can prevent such est,
behavior.
Lucien Aigner
repeatedly
The
another.
things
takes
section
Among Children Volume
in
belonging
the problem
to
Relationships hie Family, in
monev
of the
ing
is
not so
as
it is
necessarv to buv friendship.
it
in his relationships
this situation.
They Want
Sometimes children things thev
beyond
steal.
really
is
Why Do
once thev have obtained it. means can often be worked out for them to secure the cherished article. Perhaps a bov or girl can be paid for extra jobs around the house, and save the money for the purfrequently taken by children
Money,
setting or
how
modest allowance can be one means teaching children to use
Some
money
children, especially in
for
a
"Us
Away?
why
offi-
follow truancy than to remain
many hours
sons
of
in situations that are up-
unendurablv boring. truancy
is
resorted to
1
Tie rea-
may
vary
widely.
sensibly. first
Children Run
brief outbursts of parents or school cials that
15, suggests
chapters
solve
to
buy something thev want. The chapter on Children Learn to Handle
Volume
The
troublesome and embarrassing difficulties bv leaving them. It seems easier to a voungster to take the
tempt
to
in
secure
Staving away from school and running away from home indicate an at-
chase of the desired object. is
the
tions here.
far
their ability to obtain, or to use
Money
If
Kids" and Friends Are Important, in this volume, may have helpful sugges-
want the
Unless the object
more
feel-
with his friends, the
stealing usually stops. Steal Things
the taking
the reason for
child can be helped to feel
12, has helpful suggestions for
When They
much
or
Why
second grade, take pennies and dimes from their mothers' purses to provide daily treats for their companions. Here
Is
We
School Unbearable?
must
situation
56
is
try to learn
why
the school
impossible for the truantmg
Children some
child to face. Is there
physical ba-
such as impairment in his hearing, speech, sight, or general physical con-
sis,
dition,
him
which would make
it
difficult for
to understand, or concentrate on,
what he
supposed to learn? Is the child extremely overweight, or obviously different in the clothes he wears? Does he have some bad scar, unusual manneris
ism, or physical defect? If ruthless chil-
dren tease him to the point where he simply cannot stand it, he may retreat
bv truanting.
Mary
frequently stayed
away from the rural school where she was in third grade. One day she chanced to tell her mother,
me
"The
in the front
row
new world
to truant
for
so
I
literally
no more.
should know if the child is endowed with the ability to keep up with his age group in school. If this is not determined fairly accurately parents, teachers, neighbors, and other relatives may be pressing the child to accomplish more than he can be expected to do. School then becomes a most unpleasant place. In a smaller
number
of cases, children
with too great ability are bored in their own age group in the school. Thev truant for excitement, and frequently
still
lead the class in achievement in subject
Tire section
Knowledge,
The World of
volume, suggests how the school work of such children can be made more interesting. Truanting, like stealing, mav be simply an adventure to see what happens, in
Thcv may be
unfair.
bids for inde-
pendence or recognition as an individual. Truancy and running away may win prestige for the child in his
own
group.
In any of these cases, a readjustment of the child's relationships with his family, his teacher, or his classmates, or a re-
arrangement of home or school routines, may improve matters. The same patient encouragement, affectionate attention, and greater independence that help the child
who
is
untruthful or takes other
possessions
may help
here.
Changes that get at the trouble both directly and indirectly arc probably needed to remedy the situation.
What Causes
can see the
We
matter.
is
57
teacher alwavs
opened up Mary, and she needed
blackboard." Glasses a
Trouble
people's
Ten-year-old
puts
in
this
or a child may for some reason form an attachment for a chronic truant. Truancy and running away may be a show of defiance toward a teacher the child feels
Destructiveness?
Children may break or tear things in a desire to even the score for real or imaginary personal injuries, or from a general feeling that all persons are unfriendly.
Gerald, aged seven, a blue-eyed, tow-
headed youngster who looked like a cherub, was to go to the dentist after school. He failed to appear until an hour past the appointed time.
"Well, Gerry, where have you been?" the dentist asked.
"Had
to stay after school,"
grumbled
Gerald.
"What
for?"
"Talking during our rest period. She sent me to the cloakroom." "\\ nat did you do there?" "I pulled all the buttons off the teacher's
coat."
So much anger was contained
in
an
angelic-appearing boy! Dealing with Destructive Anger
Here was
a deliberate act of destruc-
Gerald would need to be hanway you might deal with the child who broke
tiveness.
dled quite differently from the
"I'm so mad I bust!" Help a
work
off his
could child
anger and
get his feelings out in the open.
have
less
Then he will need to hurt,
to destroy, to strike out.
Marion
window
and fascinating subject. Punishment cannot put an end to rage
smashed an ornament through carelessness. You might reason-
a
ably expect
Palfi
say on this vital
or
or to the feelings that are finding ex-
the careless youngster to
contribute in one way or another toward
pression in knocking
making good the damage he did. This would not be '"punishment." but. rather,
apart. It
tions.
angry.
He
is
intensely
can only be helped
cause of his anger
is
if
the
discoyered and.
or ripping
hard to be patient with these children. Thev need, above everything else, to be made to feel thev are worthwhile, valued people. A real change in their attitudes can come about only through favorable experiences with people whom they feel thev can trust.
learning to be responsible for one's ac-
But the destructiye child
down
if
remo\ed. You can often help children who arc destructiye by showing them better ways of working off anger. Vigorous activity, creative play, and the opportunity to express feelings in words all help to dram off angry feelings. The chapters in this volume. Personalities Need Balancing and What Play Means ro Your Child, have more to
is
possible.
Withdrawal
Xot licking,
all
—A
Danger Signal
children are going to be fun-loving
active,
Some mav
gain
quiet pastimes.
rol-
youngsters.
more happiness from
You want,
of course, to
development of each child's own characteristics. But vou need to keep watch lest these quiet pastimes
allow
58
for
the
Children
in
Trouble
59
own
occupv him completely. Does he seem
reputation in his
Does he secrete himself from even one? Does he daydream for long periods, and seem
way toward forming
constantly to avoid other children?
generally preoccupied?
time to
him
help
try to
Then to
may be
it
more
satisfy-
ing relationships with others.
When
Many
mav be only mild and temporary upsets. The degree of these problems
and the frequency of misbehavior are more significant than what the youngster may have done. Try to see a child's dishonesty,
destructiveness,
or
with-
drawal in relation to everything else he is
Then you
doing.
are in a better posi-
whether it will be best to use some of the emotional first aid that has been mentioned, or whether the tion to decide
child
requires
skilled
in
the
dealing
help
with
someone
of
such
disturb-
ances.
Some
of these errors of behavior, up-
setting as they are to parents ers, are
and teach-
natural expressions of growing
Becoming too excited over them can do more harm than good. It is well not up.
that picture.
Seems
too
Hard
There is no denying the deep-seated problems evidenced bv consistent misbehavior. A picture of a bov in real difficulties
He's a Child, Not a Problem
Life
family goes a long
may
highlight the difference be-
tween serious disturbances and the kind likely to improve with a slight change in attitude.
Ben's brutally
father cruel
finally deserted
drank
when
to
excess,
intoxicated,
the family. His mother,
an unstable person under the best conditions, found the problems surrounding her and the five children too much to cope with. She was committed to a
mental hospital. Ben, the oldest son, had watched the home, which never was what it should have been, slowly going to pieces. At the age of ten he was placed in a boarding home. Concerned over each member of his family, he was now completely cut off from them for an indefinite time. He was bewildered and tense, and sure
to label this relatively less serious be-
havior "lying" or "stealing" or "truant-
These are harsh and accusing words, and may overemphasize the importance of what might be only a minor ing."
incident.
Above keep his dence.
you want to help a child self-respect and his self-confiall,
He must
grow up into
woman. The
believe in his ability to a
competent man
or
picture a child forms of
himself influences his personality.
Everyone needs
to feel
important.
who is left out at school and at home may be heading for
I
was and
lis
He
neglected trouble.
f&
Childcraft
6o
no human being was interested in him. In fact, he was pretty sure all peothat
ple were against him.
Ben's
physical
.
condition
He had had
good.
shrunken
left leg
polio,
was and
sanies.
When
the
prevented him from
much
entering the games he wanted so to play.
not
"sides" were chosen for
Ben was never
selected.
He had
school
ability.
There
below-avcragc
medal he had won in swimming! He grew to love his boarding parents, too. Of course, Ben needed time to overcome the habit of stealing. There were recurrences for several months, but he finally conquered it. Physically punishing Ben would have made the problem worse. Not all children respond to care and understanding first-place
as well as
Ben
did, cither.
seemed nowhere that he could gain Restoring Their Self-Respect
recognition through achievement.
Ben was soon caught stealing. He usually took money, and he was not
—
where he got it from the boarding home, doctor, or school, church. But one thing he always did was to share his stolen funds with those his own age. He would buy them candy, gum, pop, or roller skates. This attempt to buv friends boomeranged. The recipients of his gifts soon found that possession of monev given them bv Ben meant long, embarrassing questioning by parents, social workers, teachers, or particular
even police.
What Help for the Serious Problem? Ben happened to live in a large city and, through his foster parents, he was taken to a child-guidance clinic. The main causes of his behavior were his total lack of
an adult relative to
tie to,
his inabilitv to join his friends in
any
kind of active game, and his lack of abilitv to do his school work. The clinic helped the boarding parents to understand, and to be more patient with Ben. His foster parents grew to love him sincerely in spite of his problems. There was a school for crippled children and Ben was enrolled there. Here, for the first time in his life, he was not the poorest, but the best, physical specimen.
How
his eyes
shone
as
he displavcd the
When
a
boy or
becomes
girl
seriously
involved in dishoncstv or truancv, or
seems to be uttcrlv irresponsible, it is usuallv assumed that he or she has never been made to "toe the mark." Many of the children
who
get into serious trou-
had an upset, disorderly, and undisciplined life. But some children who have been brought up strictly also develop deep behavior disturbances. Being made to "toe the mark" living under severe rules and harsh punishments is clearlv not always the answer. It may be just as poor a setting for the development of healthy personalitv as no rules at all. ble have,
it is
true,
—
Hie
—
child
who
gets into
many
of trouble, time after time,
the unloved boy or
girl
who
is
kinds
usually
has had no
consistent, helpful, interested guidance.
We must somehow help these bovs or girls
to
see
that people generallv are
We
friendly.
must
let
these children
know
thev are important as individuals. This, usuallv, is going to be a long, diffi-
Teachers and counselors may greatly. do not hesitate to rush
cult task. assist
We
a child to a physician
phvsical
ills.
If
we must never
or hospital for
there are emotional
ills,
hesitate to secure help
from those qualified to give it. Our children deserve the most careful consideration by evervone, for thev are the future.
GROWTH AND HEALTH
A.
Devaney
1ft
',
/.
.
iuUir
.
&
\
8.
GROWTH
9.
WHAT YOUR
IN SIZE, STRENGTH,
AND CO-ORDINATION
CHILD NEEDS FOR HEALTH
10.
"ANYTHING TO EAT
11.
WHEN
IN THIS
HOUSE?"
CHILDREN GET SICK
Children's growth in size and strength goes along at a steadier and less dramatic pace in the years from six to ten than in carlv childhood or in the years that follow. Except for a few contagious diseases, children's health
You can own
is
usually relatively good.
help vour children maintain their
best level of health by arranging with
sensibly balanced
work and
program
of rest
and
them
a
activity, of
of play. Nutritious food that tastes
good
contributes to health, too. At this age appetites arc
be hearty at odd mealtime. likely to
When and by
as well as at
children do get sick, vou can often has-
ten recovery by care,
moments
prompt medical attention and good
a reassuring, optimistic attitude.
You
can encourage your children to have confidence in their
own
healthiness.
H. Armstrong Roberts
GROWTH
IN SIZE,
STRENGTH,
AND
CO-ORDINATION During a
coinciding
usually
the
first
roughly with
R.
STOLZ, M.D.
Deputy Superintendent of Public Instruction. California State Department of Education.
four years of school at-
San Francisco,
Calif.
show cergrowth tendencies. These
tendance, nearly tain definite
HERBERT
period of about four years,
all
children
tendencies require special attention on
time to watch for the appearance of the
the part of parents and teachers.
characteristics of later childhood.
We
cannot say definitely that for a particular child certain changes will occur at age
fixe,
certain others at fi\e six,
do not follow each other with precision. But the calendar can remind us that when a child is five and a half years old it is time to be on the alert for
child
signs indicating a
ment,
when if
new phase
just as a railroad
to look
the train
is
down
of deyelop-
timetable
of the
Missing Tooth
Dental changes are often the most obvious sign of the transition from early childhood to later childhood. Usually a child sees to it not only that his father and mother take due notice when the first baby tooth is shed, but also that the news is broadcast at school and in the neighborhood. When two or more of the temporary teeth have become loose, or come out, and the first permanent tooth can be felt or seen, it is highly probable that the child is entering the
and
and so on. Recoggrowth for a particular
one-half, others at
nizable stages of
The Age
tells
the track and see
coming.
Similarly, when a child has achie\ed a standing height of about 45 inches it is
period of later childhood. Sometimes a
63
Loss of that baby tooth heralds a new era. No longer entirely home-bound, he becomes man-about-the-neighborhood.
standard or a size standard without gard
for
own
his
re-
develop-
individual
mental timetable. Differences
Become More Marked
among young-
Individual differences
become
sters
more
more numerous, and more important as
greater,
evident,
they progress toward maturity. This
is
as
true of differences in physical develop-
ment Rae
as
in
other characteristics. Both
children and their parents
I:
become more
tooth, for the so-called six-year molars
aware of these differences when the children go to school. In the school situation, comparisons arc inevitable. The
may
break through behind the temporary set instead of replacing the baby
child
teeth.
some
child docs not
know he
has a permanent
Although the "toothless grin" characteristic
of
later
childhood,
is
markedly above average
is
The
development
is
is
apt to have child
whose
considerably
below average has more and different problems. A skillful teacher can do something toward fitting the school activities to each child's readiness, but
the
phase of
come through.
special problems.
physical
a
development for teeth and jaws begins several years earlier. If you have been taking vour child to the dentist regularly, vou will be informed of any necessary care or correction to be undertaken as the permanent teeth critical
whose physical development
upon parents
falls
the chief responsibil-
who
for helping children
ity
developers.
Thev can
are slow
recognize
this
slower growth as a normal variation, and
In this unsightly stage,
you can avoid remarks that would give a sensitive child the feeling that he has
help the children to adjust to get
it
and
for-
it.
lost his attractiveness.
Strength and Skill Are Valued Conversation Tells More than Appearance
As
Birthday age, height, and dental changes may give us useful cues as to when to expect the behavior of later childhood, but how a child looks, what
he does, and what he
talks
grow
from infancy through the toddler stage, and through children
the preschool years into later childhood, parents usually
become
less
with the physical growth.
more
about are
more revealing. Sometimes a child's wholesome personality development may be delayed, or even blocked. by efforts to make him live up to an age even
concerned
Thev become
interested in the intellectual, so-
and
emotional development of their offspring. This tendency is reinforced by the traditions and practices of our schools. Sometimes our adult em-
cial,
64
Many
different
weights and sizes are
normal at any age, for each individual has his own style of growing.
on the stimulation of intellectual development makes us overlook the importance to the boys and girls of changes in size, strength, and muscular co-ordiphasis
nation.
To
the
six-
to ten-year-old, being
"more grown up" means chief! v being jump higher, throw farther, do more difficult stunts, and play more complicated games. able to run faster,
weight
is
cle tissue. It
Why
Do They Want
Some
to
Use Muscles?
ciple of
reasons for the high value both
any
bovs and girls put on strength and motor skill during these vears can be found in
is
to increase of
mus-
a well-established prin-
growth that rapid increase
tissue
in
stimulates the use of that
tissue.
As compared to what has occurred in infancy and early childhood, growth in bodv dimensions is steadier and more
the kinds of growing thev are doing.
The growth
due
usually
of the central nervous sys-
almost complete at age six. A child's bodv is readv for the development of those beautifullv balanced patterns of nervous control necessarv for vaulting a fence or for graceful dancing;
nearlv uniform during later childhood.
and
than thev have before, or than thev will a few vears later when thev experience the rapid and irregular growth of
tem
is
for batting a baseball, for skating, for springboard diving.
Any number
deeply satisfying kinds of
movement
This favors the learning and the perfecting of co-ordinated movements. During this period, children
to feel)
awkward
in learning
new
skills
of
skillful bod}*
are within the reach of
less
appear to be (and
most
early adolescence.
early
They Have Energy
healthy grade-school youngsters.
During
the
transition
from
childhood to later childhood, muscle tissue grows more rapidly than any other tissue. Much of this growth is in the thickness of the muscle fibers. It shows in the increased circumference of upper arm, thigh, leg, and neck. The edges of the large muscles about the shoulders and on the back begin to stand out in children who have little fat under the skin. Upon the basis of careful measurements and X-ray photographs, it has been estimated that, during the fifth year of life, 75 per cent of the gain in
Children
in
to
the
Burn
elcmcntarv-schoo]
vears generallv appear to have a greater
supplv of physical energy than during
any other stage of development. They recuperate rapidly from fatigue following intense effort. Repeated careful investigations have failed to show that, when thev are in good health, their hearts suffer either permanent or temporary damage as a result of vigorous
and prolonged are
plaving
casually
65
activity.
organized
fooling
Whether
they
games or
just
around, their actions
ClIILDCRAI tell
us that these youngsters have energy
I
guidance more than upon the natural
to burn.
elinations of the girls themselves.
Are Girls as Active as Boys?
Why
ence^
commencing before
birth,
process of growth in the two sexes the beginning of adolescence
During
later
childhood
is
the
up
to
similar.
the
actual
gains from year to year in height, weight,
Differences in Activity?
Even among healthy bovs and
In spite of the fundamental sex differ-
in-
later
childhood,
there
are
girls in
wide
indi-
vidual differences in actual behavior. For
boy whose general energy level has always been low, even a substantial increase of energy will not produce the
a
and other bodv measurements average the same for girls as for boys. Since
chair-tipping, fence-walking, roof-climb-
men
sometimes so
are usually larger than
women,
this
ing,
door-slamming, perpetual motion irritating to parents, teach-
neighbors, and shopkeepers.
indicates that during this period girls
ers,
growing more rapidly than boys toward mature stature. Consequently, for girls the period of later childhood is usually somewhat shorter than for boys. The drive toward activity and the urge toward self-expression through the successful use of their muscles are prob-
The natural drive of later childhood move impulsively and do new things may not be strong enough to overcome the inhibitions of a girl who has been
are
ably just as general and just as intense for girls as for their brothers.
The
differ-
ences in their choice of activities appear to
depend upon
traditions
and parental
to
taught
to
act
"like
a
lady"
little
under all circumstances. For some children the satisfactions of intellectual activities and accomplishment may have become so well established that they shun the boisterous enjoyments of vigorous group games. Rus Arnold
Those who run
fastest,
jump
farthest, and even laugh loudest are likely to
stand highest with
their
companions.
Chairs were made to tip backward doors are only good for slamming and fences were built to be walked on, in the nine-year-old's book.
^^^m This
is
especially true
if
the games
re-
body skills thev have not learned. Under cramped conditions of city living, plav areas are inadequate and traffic quire
hazards forbid the use of the streets for
Only the adventurous and
play.
ous child can fully
ingeni-
out his drive for wholesome activity. Under such circumlive
some children chatter constantly. Other bovs and girls squirm in their stances
and
scats Still
shuffle their feet at a movie.
other youngsters
wholesome gang
fall
into the un-
practices
that
offer
short periods of great excitement, sea-
soned with fear and aggression, of
more wholesome and
in place
satisfying ac-
tivitv.
Steppingstone
to
Maturity
Successful participation in several of
the vigorous physical activities of later
childhood contributes appreciably to a child's sense of his own worth. For many youngsters, life during later childhood is an exciting and memorable experience. Steady growth in height, increase in muscular power, increasing endurance, and rapid progress in achieving
bodv control
give deep satisfaction. This satisfaction is due partly to the
67
.
.
.
.
.
.
Childcraft
68
now the boj or girl recognizes clearly that growing up is his or her most important concern. As a preschool child,
But accurate eye-hand co-ordination, and rapid judgment of the speed and direction of motor vehicles and other
importance. Dur-
moving objects, still contribute to survival. These activities contribute to success in making a living, as well as to the
fact
that
he began to sense
its
ing later childhood he consciously fo-
upon
and exults in each new achievement. Each new step tells him, and shows the world, that he is making progress. c
uses attention
this goal
enrichment of leisurctime. Practice in the vigorous
and
zestful
use of the large muscles contributes to
the development of heart power, lung
How
Useful Are Their Activities?
you sometimes feel that skipping rope or bouncing, throwing, catching, If
of
penditure of energy. Muscular activities are teaching our children how to con-
practical value to Susan or John,
serve energy bv using only those muscles
hitting, or kicking little
power, and the ability to adapt to rapid changes in the mobilization and ex-
some
sort of ball
is
The
you should remember the meaning of
required for a given task.
such activities to a youngster's develop-
breadth, and effectiveness of living are
ment. In our day and age, speed
being affected by the way youngsters learn to use their bodies during these years. Parents should remember this
accuracy
in
in running,
throwing, agility
in
climb-
and precision in wielding a bat may not have the same obvious survival value that they had in more primitive times. ing,
length,
when
their children return from the playground breathless, red-faced, sweaty,
and fatigued.
Glen Fishback
How
Is
Posture Improved?
There
is,
also,
a
direct
relation be-
development of muscular strength and co-ordination and the establishment of good posture. In no small degree the maintenance of good health, working efficiency, and attractive appearance throughout life depends upon good carriage, T liis is achieved through tween
the
the balanced action of the muscles controlling the head, neck, trunk, hips, feet.
The
vigorous and varied play ac-
tivities of later
ordinated
many
and
use
childhood include the coof
the whole bodv in
different positions.
These contrib-
her business, her vocation, and her delight. All this furthers her well-rounded development. Activity
is
Growth
in Size, Strength,
ute directly to developing good posture.
and Co-ordination
69
Those children who
learn to ac-
play.
cept their physical peculiarities before Later Childhood as Prophecy
approaches the end of later childhood, the appearance and beha\ior that will be characteristic of his or her adult personality begin to be clearly foreshadowed. If a boy is unusually tall then, he is almost certain to be a tall man. If he is big-boned and heavily muscled then, he will probably be a strong and sturdv man. If he has completed this growth period at an earlier age than his schoolmates, he will achieve adult proportions before they do. If his weight is above average because he is upholstered with an unusuallv large proportion of fatty tissue, he must reckon with the probability that this tendency will continue for most of his life. The same kinds of predictions, based on the same assumptions, can be made about girls when thev finish later childhood, usually at about nine and a half years, or
As
a
bov or
girl
be
much
sets
in
better prepared to accept
themselves throughout life. If your child, for one reason or another, does not respond with enthusi-
asm
normal urge for vigorous and varied motor development during later childhood, he needs special help. Perhaps it will be necessary to encourage to the
such a child to participate first in less vigorous group activities and later in
more strenuous games. Perhaps it will be useful for Mother or Father to help a boy or girl learn the basic skill in one or more games plaved in school. Perhaps it will seem best to encourage a youngster to take up some unusual activity, such as horseback riding, skiing, or ice-skating. If he can do that well, his appreciation of other sports will be stimulated. He will gain skills
and some
his fellows, too.
Perhaps
prestige it
among
will onlv
be
necessary for parents to relax, to some degree, for a time their disapproval of
even slightly before that. If
will
development
adolescent
early
a Child Has Poor Co-ordination
activities involving a risk of injury or of
Many
damaged and
acteristics
We
trol.
normal growth charare beyond our power to condo have the power and the
of these
responsibility for helping a
youngster
whose growth pattern is obviously unusual in anv respect, to accept that pattern. We can help him make the most of it and stop worrying about it. It serves no useful purpose to tell a youngster who is extremely short that if he eats enough spinach he will grow to be as tall as the boy next door. It is worth while, however, to help
some game, sport, or stunt which shortness is no handicap. Bv
usual for
him develop un-
skill in
careful selection of the right activities, a
who has to wear glasses can many of the rewards of vigorous
boy or enjoy
girl
soiled
have objected to noisv
disputes,
clothing.
If
thev
activities that lead to
thev
may be
able
to
change their attitude.
Happy Childhood We adults must protect active youngsters from trying to do things that are For a
too dangerous.
show them
We
that thev
can
try,
also,
to
must have regard
for the rights of other persons
who
are
not riding the crest of the wave of muscular development. With these two safeguards, both children and parents usually go through the period of later childhood with a reasonable degree of
good humor and without overwhelming tensions.
Gordon H. Lord
WHAT YOUR
chance to achieve, to "rate" with his
own
CHILD NEEDS FOR HEALTH
friends.
Daily Program Fosters Health In
the school years, vour child
find out that other families
have
may
differ-
ent times for eating, playing, or resting.
He
KATHERINE BAIN, M.D. Deputy Chief. Children's Bureau, Department of Health. Education, and Welfare,
Washington, D. C.
wants to be like others. His interests widen, and these interests interfere with his established way of doing things. are a time-centered people, and it is de-
We
sirable for a child to learn that there
time for doing a
somewhat
is
a
But it can be time. Routine ac-
this or that.
flexible
such as brushing his teeth or dressing himself, were fun as he learned tivities,
During child
the years from is
making
six to
though
a steady,
slower, gain in size.
He
ten a
is
broad-
ening his horizons and developing, through use, his newly acquired abilities in language and comprehension. He has passed through the strains of early childhood and has become easier to get along with in mam ways. This is the period in
when he
developing his sense of accomplishment. It is a doing age,
his life
and he
is
for his total health feci
he
is
it is
worthwhile.
essential that
He
needs
a
them, but a
nuisance.
now It is
thev are "old stuff" and harder, at this stage, for
families to provide a dailv
program the
child will accept.
Adjustments in schedule to fit his growth must, of course, be made. You arc confronted with the problem of howto balance your child's need to run his own life with his need to be protected from running it in a way that is harmful. In achieving this balance, you should keep in mind the child's need for a bal-
What Your
Child Needs for Health
anced rest and activity and his need for good wholesome food.
7i
periods of the dav. Sometimes,
when we
children are dreaming or wasting
feel
their time, they are reallv recuperating
Providing for Sleep and Rest
from the strenuous
Children vary so much in their sleep needs that even within a family one child may require several hours more or less than his sister or brother did at the same age. Changing ways of living
the tension of school.
—more
people in crowding together
cities,
more
families
—have changed sleep
becomes necessarv
work out
to
a
plan for going to bed, in relation to an individual child. A plan appears reasonable
provides enough sleep to let a
if it
In considering children's need for
we should
up easily in the morning. If he cannot get up without a major unloading operation by an adult, or cannot get up earlv enough to get ready for school child get
at a reasonable pace,
Children Need Time for Play and Hobbies, in
then he
is
not get-
may
Most
trition.
dren, yet
"perhaps," because there are child
may
lie
many
other
awake. Over-
and tenseness are among these. Regularitv is a good way to keep bedtime from being a running fight between parent and child. A regular time for week nights (a reminder 10 to 15 minutes before may be necessarv for some children) and a slightly later hour on fatigue
Fridav or Saturdav nights, for ease of living.
kept to, Children at if
can take responsibility for going to bed at designated times. The argument then shifts from the parent to the this age
clock.
When
Are Children "Resting"?
Children need rest in addition to sleep. They need times when they are relaxed and quiet, to balance the active
such
malnu-
parents would be horrified
some
important health
—
fail
enough
to provide an equallv
growth and The important thing to
ingredient
rest.
mind
promptly on getting into bed, perhaps his bedtime hour is too earlv. But this is a large to sleep
difficulties
food, clothing, or shelter for their chil-
rest
make
this
well as lack of
as
many
to think they were not providing
and
enough rest. If he does not go
lead to
as irritability, loss of appetite, or
ting
will
volume, discusses
this
Insufficient rest, sleep,
in
why a
also consider the dangers of
an overcrowded schedule, even though everything in it is good. The chapter
keep
reasons
rest,
question.
habits, too. It
activity of play or
of
that a balance of activity
is
makes
good rhythm
a
child's
life.
Activity
—Mental-Health Insurance
So great
is
for a
the pressure within the
child for "doing," that this need usuallv
although not always acceptable ones. Opportunifinds outlets for
ties for
its
satisfaction,
vigorous free play and for carry-
numerous interests and hobbies good health measures. Families go
ing on are
to great lengths to plan the sand pile for
the
little child,
or the
rumpus room
for
the adolescent, but thev often forget the in-betweeners' needs. Such children are
often at loose ends.
Brownies, Cubs, Bluebirds, or their counterparts, should have a place to
meet, in homes if that is possible. The work bench, the bicycle, the place to keep the endless collections are important as mental-health insurance if they are within the family's means. Oppor-
(
Ihildcraft
and the resultant sense of accomplishment arc basic to the development of a healthy personaltunities
for
activity
he section Play in Child Life, in tins volume, suggests sonic ways of providing desirable activities and equipity.
practical
suggestions for such arrange-
ments.
How Much
Medical Supervision?
I
ment. Sensible Eating
Children need a balanced diet if they arc to be healthy. The chapter "Any-
thing to Eat in This House?" volume, discusses the question of what food they need at mealtimes and what makes a good snack. A cheerful atmosphere at mealtimes and time enough to eat aid good digestion. Just as your children need regular times for sleep, they need regular times for meals, too. These in this
are the years terest
in
when
their
children's great in-
play and
their
friends
sometimes makes it hard to get them into the house for any purpose, even for eating. Sometimes it is possible to compromise when family meal hours conflict with neighborhood customs. The Neighborhoods Influence chapter Personality, in Volume 1 5, has some
You sec your child every daw and arc more apt than anv outsider to notice some kinds of change, such as the symptoms that precede an illness. There arc some signs that a mother or father may miss but that should be caught has regular medical checks. will tell voii
how
Some
is
Your doctor
once a vear for
the usual plan.
of the points doctors watch,
no way
that parents have
may not
or
a child
often such checkups
are needed, but at least
growing children
if
of observing
interpret correctly, arc the
tone of the muscles, and the texture and color of the skin. Posture and the development of the feet, hearing and vision are other points that need medical checks once a year.
same doctor who
Preferably, the
the child
if
he
is
checkups when
know
sees
should make these he is well. Getting to sick
the child in health will
make
it
possible for the doctor to give a child
and to have a fricndlv relationship with him if he should be sick.
better care,
Luoma. Monkmeyer
What Do School Medical
Reports Tell?
Some
parents rely on the school mediexamination as a check. Todav the school examination is usually a "screening" device, designed to pick out children who need to have further tests. It is not designed to examine the child completely and tell you everything about cal
his health. In
some
schools, because of
lack of physicians' time, routine exami-
More
rest
when a
and sleep may be
the
child
or listless,
is
irritable
or loses his appetite.
answer
nations arc no longer made, except for
who
children
are entering school.
The
observations of the teacher or nurse are
used to select children already in school who should be seen bv a doctor. For
vounger children in school it to have the mother present
is
at
desirable
such an
examination.
Tests of
of
hearing
schools
and
vision
may
in
many disclose
unsuspected conditions readily
corrected
by
your doctor. Children's Bureau, Archie Harding: Sawders-Cushing
you should get a slip from the school which says "tonsils" or "heart," vou need not think it means vour child needs his tonsils taken out or that he has
screening examinations. If the school suggests further examination, or if you
If
a heart disease. \\ nat
it
docs
mean
think vour child shows svmptoms of eye difficulty, such as squinting, frowning,
having headaches, or disliking to read, have his eves examined bv a competent
is
that he needs a thorough examination
by his doctor to determine if there is anything wrong with his tonsils or his heart. Removal of tonsils is not recommended so frequentlv as it used to be. Tire heart murmur picked up bv the school doctor mav not mean anything.
Then to
again,
have
a
it
maw
Therefore,
it is
specialist.
Manv
have screening tests for hearing. If vour child comes home with a note from the school about his hearing, or if he has had frequent colds with earache, or does not seem to hear well, have him examined bv vour
well
own
thorough examination.
schools
doctor,
also
who may recommend
an
ear specialist.
When
Should Eyes and Ears Be Examined?
Bv
After a child reaches school age, his vision tested.
and
his eye-muscle balance can
The
school
mav do
age,
be
his
he should be well acquainted with dentist. Tooth decav is such a com-
mon
routine
73
the time a child reaches school
ailment that onlv the rare child
You may
your children something. Thcv arc forever catching by be plagued measles, may seem to mumps, chickenpox, or colds, but usuallv these arc not dangerous illnesses. life
span.
feel
Between immunization and the use of the newer drugs, many potential killers have been eliminated or made
less
dan-
gerous.
Todav, the number-one hazard for children
school-age
accidents.
is
The Your
chapter Accident Prevention Is Responsibility, in Volume 15, deals in
"You
can't please 'em!
If
noisy they tell you to keep quiet. If you're too quiet, they stick a ther-
mometer
in
with material on accident pre-
detail
you're too
vention.
Relieving Children's Worries
your mouth."
Though we
think of the school child
as a gay, carefree youngster, often
many
The chapter Your Child's Teeth, in Volume 13, discusses how escapes.
his teeth grow,
he has
secret worries.
He
worries, for example, about his
comparison to others. Grownups are so thoughtless! Thcv will remark on
and the dental care he
size in
should have.
how
big Salh
r
is
till
she feels awkward
What Illnesses Can We Prevent? During infancy, all children should be given "shots" against diphtheria, whooping cough, and tetanus, and should be
and all hands and feet. Or thcv will sav John is going to be a runt like his Uncle
vaccinated
their worrv
smallpox.
for
Recall,
John. Children are as sensitive about remarks on their looks as are adults. Often
or
doses
are
against these diseases
own doctor
is
Your some com-
source intended.
insured.
or clinic or, in
A few
munities, your health department will
begin to mature sexu-
by their tenth vear and this is often Mothers may be anxious about this, too, especially if, as so often happens, one breast enlarges before the other. The child may be subjected to various examinations for some-
combined vaccines for diphtheria, whooping cough, and tetanus are given at six to seven years, and at nine to ten
thing quite normal.
The
girl is
disturbed
because she is different from her friends in her rate of growth. Then she becomes
years.
What Are School-Age Hazards?
bothered
really
arc fewer deaths in the schoolin
may
a source of worry to them.
Revaccination usuallv is done at about the age of school entrance. Boosters of
age period than
girls
ally
give these immunizations.
There
intense because thcv have
not understood a chance remark, or because thev give it more weight than its
needed during childhood, so that continued protection "booster,"
is
that there
any other part of the
This
74
is
is
with
this
implication
something wrong with
a period
when
children
her.
must be
What Your like
the herd, and any deviation
Child Needs for Health is
a ca-
tastrophe to them.
75
understanding physician, through carequestioning, discovered the cause.
ful
Betsv. a bright, normal voungster,
Some Children Fear Failure For all thev seem to take school
the misfortune to follow in the footsteps in
many children worn' about Some families are overambitious
their stride, failure.
and push them beyond Marks and grades get empha-
for their children
capacity.
without regard to ability of the child. With the child's own need to achieve, and with the pressures of our society for sis,
wonder that many children are tense and worried. And the worries show up in various ways. How some schools are easing the strain of in'success."
it is
had
small
competition over marks is discussed in the chapter Reports and Promotions, in this volume. Betsv, at the age of seven, began to vomit in the morning, to be dizzv. and to have headaches. A thorough phvsical examination revealed nothing, but the tense
two
Neither the family nor the teacher was content with her performance. She was confronted dailv with standards too high to be reached. Betsv's vomiting was an attempt to solve her problem. She was not trving to "get away with something." When once she was accepted for herself, and a wav found for her to excel in something (for Betsv, this was painting) her need for an escape disappeared. Tom, the middle child in a large family, developed the annoving habit of banging his head and grinding his teeth in his sleep. Tom was the "left-out" one. He was too little to plav with the big bovs of the familv and too big for the younger ones. An understanding mother found ways of "featuring" him so that of
brilliant brothers.
,
and sense of inadequacv graduallv disappeared. The section Relationships Among Children in the Family, in Volume 12, discusses how these worries due to competition and resentment of brothers and sisters can be
his loneliness
Carefree and careless though he may seem, your school-age child still is sensitive and knows doubts and worry.
handled. Health and Happiness
Go
Together
These examples could be multiplied a hundredfold from anv doctor's practice.
They
illustrate the close relationship be-
tween feelings and health, and show how phvsical svmptoms mav be the result of hidden worries. Wise parents who want real health for their children are as concerned about growth in abilitv to get along with others
and control
feelings as
of a child's body.
that
all
and
to express
about the growth
Wise
parents
know
kinds of growth are parts of the
whole personalitv.
Children's Bureau, Esther Bubley
"ANYTHING TO EAT IN THIS HOUSE?"
A
healthy, well-nourished child eager for active play.
soundly.
He
gains
He
is
sleeps
MIRIAM
some weight
hostess apt to serve
and
him something he
does not like?" If you must answer "yes" to these questions you had better not put this book down now!
—
the vegetables,
meats, or fruits in the market. individual,
Economics, State College, Pa.
food preferences. Ask yourself, "Am I embarrassed when I take him to a friend's house for a meal because he dislikes so main different foods?" "Is any
and butter or margarine the Basic Seven in diet. That doesn't mean that all
Ph.D.
Pennsylvania State College,
Home
School of
milk, meat, eggs, vegetables, fruits, cere-
he has to "go for"
LOWENBERG,
Chairman, Foods and Nutrition Department,
from year to vear. If your child does these things and enjoys his life most of the time, the chances are that he is coming along fine. He does not have to keep up with the youngster next door. The best thing about him is he is an individual, built on his own pattern. Nobody could tell you how much food your child should cat. But he needs a varied diet. His likes should include als,
E.
as such will
He
is
What
an
A
show some 76
child
Is
a Healthy Appetite?
between
six
and ten
years of
'Anything to Eat
who come to
age
has a healthy appetite likes to the table.
He
enjoys his meals,
and sometimes you wonder where he puts all that food. WTiat is more, you enjoy haying
him come
Any normal at
to the table.
be more hungry one meal than another. It is the gen-
eral
child will
pattern that really counts.
Some
mornings he may ask for a third egg. Seyeral weeks from now he may want cereal instead of any eggs. Children are like that. It's the way these food jags affect you that really counts. The first day he turns down the breakfast egg, you may ask him to try to eat it although he doesn't want it. You may tell him that tomorrow morning you will have cereal for him. If you explain this, a reasonable
The
Is
a Well-Baianced Diet?
best insurance that a child
is
get-
he likes a variety of the seven basic foods, and that each day vou prepare meals including ting a balanced diet
is
77
some of each group \Vc have learned
of these basic foods.
that
when foods
are
important as what is eaten. For instance, everyone needs some food containing animal protein at each meal. For breakfast that usually means a serving of milk or eggs. You can make it meat, cheese, or fish, just as well. Some children have had a renewal of appetite for breakfast when a hamburger, a ham sandwich, or a toasted cheese sandwich was part of the menu. Who says these eaten
as
is
aren't breakfast foods? old. thev
may be more
of those cereals
For
a ten-vear-
acceptable forms
and protein foods than
the usual egg or toast.
Experiments have shown that voung persons
who
ate a substantial breakfast
containing some protein of animal origin could do more work and think faster than the no-breakfast or meager-break-
child will usually understand.
What
This House?'
in
fast groups.
that
How Do You Plan for You can be sure
a Balance? that the meals vou Suzanne Sza^z
He who eats a hearty breakfast can do more work, can think more clearly, has more vim, and day
feels
long.
better
all
Chii.ocrm
78
i
Milk nourishes growing bodies. Three or four glasses a day, along with other
make
foods,
for
good
nutrition.
feed your family contain
all
the food
nutrients growing children need
if
thev
contain some foods from each of the Basic Seven groups. Buy fresh food, store
it
so that
Then, cook its
it
it
remains
so that
it
in a fresh state.
loses as little of
freshness as possible. This
means
that
vou use the shortest possible cooking period to make the food palatable. Of course if meals do not taste good, nobody can expect children to eat. Parents often wonder how much milk a child
should drink. Nutrition experts
be hoped he likes to drink three or four cups a daw He needs the food nutrients in that milk for the growing he is doing. A child also needs to store some of the calcium and protein in milk for the spurt in growth to come within a few years after he
would answer that
it
is
to
passes his tenth birthday.
Rae Russel
every elementary school gave children a
chance to learn about the food needs of the bodv and the diet that meets those needs.
Nutrition Fascinates Children
Up
to
children arc interested in eating what
thev
like. Efforts at tins
directed toward helping foods. It
them
Feelings Influence Eating
about the age of seven or eight,
is
time will be best
them know new
wise to avoid trying to
tell
to eat certain foods because "this
good for you." But children in the middle elementary grades are really inis
why our bodies need different kinds of food. They are naturally curious about the "why" of everything. Discussions about why our
terested in considering
need different kinds of food bring a real response from the nine- and
bodies
ten-year-olds.
We
would not need
worn- about the food habits of adults
to if
Children are great imitators. You need to consider how your own food likes and dislikes affect the developing food habits of vour children. Perhaps
you also need to consider the conversation at meals. If your child often has emotional upsets at the tabic, or if vou use mealtime for disciplining him, he will not get the most value out of what he cats. If he is overtired, he cannot eat or assimilate his food well. Some children
who
are severely restricted in every-
thing they try to do
may
use mealtime
to let out their feelings of insecurity
anger.
and
"Anything to Eat When
Kind of Manners for Our Children?.
Sweets Are Craved Constantly
If a
child
is
in This House?'
always eating candy,
it
in
Volume
may be a sign she or he is unhappy. Sweets may be the chief or the only satisfaction such a child has in
Let the Children Cook!
Some-
life.
15.
Children enjoy feeling they arc truly
and that
own
times a solution not directly related to food can be found, but parents may
a part of the family
need the help of a guidance counselor in getting at and remedying the difficulty.
good food. In nursery schools, when the
The chapter Family Guidance Services, in Volume 1 5, may be helpful to
they seldom leave on the plate the food they themselves have handled. Much
you
the same thing holds true for
in this case.
Fortunately, there are also tical steps related to
take
when
sweets.
there
is
prac-
eating that you can
too
much
eating of
Experiments show that children
eat less sweet stuff
milk,
some
eggs,
when
cheese,
the amounts of
and
fish
in
their
meals are increased.
Can Food
Habits Be Changed?
We
cannot change a child's food habits suddenly, no matter how necessary that may seem to be. Perhaps you haye an eight-year-old who really eats just like a baby. He has not learned to chew food successfully. No amount of pushing can move children ahead more rapidly than they themselves can progress. You can only set the stage. The child himself
must do the
their
contribute to the proyision of
efforts
children prepare a part of their lunch,
six-
to ten-
This age group enjoys the thrill of cooking. Children as young as second-graders have prepared a fruit mixture and cookies to serve to their mothers. Groups of third-grade children have made candied fruits to put in boxes for Christmas presents for their parents. Even an eight-vear-old girl can prepare an entire meal for a family. Perhaps she only opens a can of soup, vear-olds.
scrambles eggs, and serves whole oranges for dessert. But, she
may announce,
as
eight-vear-old Susan did, the next time
her mother needed to be away, "I can feed the menfolks!" The menfolks were a four-year-old brother and a daddv. The chapter Cooking
Up Fun,
in
Volume
8,
suggests dishes children can prepare.
acting, or, in
this case, the eating.
It
You can help greatly by the way you set the stage. You can proyide most of the food in the form the child likes best. At any meal, give only one food that
Is
Fun
to
Plan a Meal
Children
in
the
lower elementary
grades are intensely interested in the socalled
"meal pattern." They enjoy plan-
ning breakfasts, using the idea of the pieces of a pattern for a dress or an air-
needs real chewing to the child who has not learned to chew properly, \\lien a child is troubled, or not entirely well, don't tn to get him to eat new foods.
hot dish, the breadstuff and butter, the
Use the same old
fruit,
r
stand-bys, but plan for
his fayorite foods frequently,
and
still
keep variety in mind. Table manners concern most parents.
They
are discussed in the chapter
What
plane,
and translating
this into a pattern
They soon
get the idea of the
for a meal.
Home
and the beverage,
for breakfast.
breakfasts of children
who had
a
chance to take part in planning improved, according to reports from the parents.
The
children realized that
it
•
-
-^
Hae Russel
The
may
not please the most fastidious (or even Mother!), but how good it will taste to young chefs! results
'Anything to Eat in This House?" took
all
parts of the pattern to
make the
meal complete.
provided with a sign over the child
who
When
are your children really
hun-
After a good breakfast do
hungry child will eat" is only a halftruth, for a hungry child is often a fatigued child, and fatigue destroys appe-
Food helps prevent fatigue. Children often come home from
tite.
school hungry, physically and emotionAll dav they have been trying to
ally.
left
ride
their nickels for
the orange or tangerine, and the paper
they welcome the ten-o'clock bottle of milk at school and eat a good lunch later? "A gry?
saying "For
it
hungry on the
is
home." Mothers
What About "Snacks"?
8]
how to live in a world somewhat new and strange to them. Now they come back to Mother, of whose love learn
thev are sure. But perhaps they need a gift of food to reassure them of her love.
wrappers of candv bars no longer appeared each day on the front sidewalk!
What Is a Weil-Balanced Snack? WTiat should a child cat at these school snacks?
problem
The
after-
best solution to this
to consider this food as a real
is
meal, because in truth
it
should be.
You
would not set a table and serve a child a candy bar and a glass of carbonated beverage. Instead, the lunch you would prepare might consist of a sandwich (cheese, ham, or peanut butter), a glass of milk, or a piece of fruit or
vegetable.
some raw
These are good foods
after-school snack.
When
for the
the odor of
just-baked fruit cookies or spicy molasses
Snacks Nourish Feelings, Too
cookies
Perhaps the battle cry of every school child "Anything to eat in this house?" has a deep emotional as well as physical significance. Certainly it has an emotional significance for mothers who pride themselves on their housekeeping, and find this question almost an insult.
place to
During the war years in a large nursery school, the mothers knew that the care included a mid-morning lunch of fruit juice, a good meal at noon, and an afternoon snack of milk and a sandwich or piece of fruit. Yet many of these mothers brought candv bars when they picked up their children. These they carefully hid from the teacher's sight until they had taken the child outside the school.
The
teachers realized that
food was a way of saying to child, "I know you have had a good here and that vou like your teacher, after all I am your mother." Withany explanation, a tray of fruit was
Snacks
fills
the house,
come
Mean
home
is
a favorite
after school.
Giving and Sharing
who comes home and taste of fresh bread, just out of the oven and just cool enough to cut! Oatmeal bread, whole wheat bread, or bread made from enriched white flour all smell delicious in the baking, and taste even more so. Physically and emotionally, a slice of warm, home-baked Fortunate the child
to the odor
bread generously spread with butter or margarine, and a glass of cold milk make the answer to the question "Anything to cat in this house?" a
The memories
good one.
of such
after-school
snacks remain long after they have done their
job
in
becoming
a
part of
the
this gift of
child's well-nourished body.
the
Something given and something shared makes a strong bond between parents and children in any home. Food
dav but out
offers a
good chance to give and
share.
.
H. Armstrong Roberts
WHEN CHILDREN GET HENRY
H.
WORK,
SICK
M.D.
Assistant Professor. School of Medicine, University of Louisville, Louisville, Kv.
almost inevitable that a child in early grades will be kept home from school from time to time, due to one of the contagious diseases or the common cold. All these illnesses should receive attention, for you never know-
the appearance of a fever, a rash, or a
is
IT the
exactly
what
some part of the bodv, depending on what the illness is. The wellknown, easily detectable signs of colds, pain in
sore throats, or bronchitis
may
also
be
the forerunners of other illnesses, par-
their course will be.
ticularlv
such
contagious
diseases
as
measles.
What Are
Examine vour
leads the
list
child thoroughly
when
he shows any signs of illness. Look for a rash on his arms, face, neck, or chest. Rashes are often accompanied by a running nose or by a sore throat. A loss of
warning Loss of appetite, or any change
Irritability
signals.
Signs of Illness? of
ways of sleeping, are additional signs that a child is not well. Shortly, vour suspicions may be confirmed cither by in
appetite often points to a sore throat,
82
\\
hex Children Get Sick
even though the child does not complain that his throat hurts. Children of school age frequently complain of stomach-ache. This is an important sign, but not as important as a headache.
High
8
fever of 103
F. to 105
with
se-
vere pain in anv part of the body, partic-
abdomen, are help you decide
ularly the head, chest, or
danger signals that
will
to call the physician. If a fall or other
accident seems to be of
How Can You Control Infections? The control of the spread
,
nary severity,
report
more than
ordi-
the situation
to
often the job of the health authorities.
our doctor at once. Your doctor mav give vou instructions over the phone about what to do until
But
he gets
of infec-
tious diseases through the school
is
most
you notice these signs of illness in your child, keep him at home. In addition to the danger signals already described, even a low-grade fever, if it marks a change from his usual temperature, is cause for keeping him away from if
other persons.
The
greater the isolation that can be
obtained until a qualified medical opinion is secured, the better for the other
members of the family. The most contagious period of some diseases is when the child is beginning to show the symptoms of the illness. Keep a child in his room, and wash your hands thoroughly when you have anv contact with him. Keep his towels, and other articles separate. Measles and chicken pox tend to spread throughout a household, but colds and clothing,
other similar diseases can usually be kept at a
minimum
with such simple
isola-
tion.
Until the Doctor
made
his diag-
should be kept at rest as Giye him only fluids In deciding whether to call the
nosis, the child
much to eat.
vou cannot reach him for several hours, and your child is feverish, the most useful and safe drug is aspirin
as possible.
there. If
or a
like
compound
(Prolonged use of aspirin for small children is not wise. Sponging a child with warm water or with ordinary rubbing alcohol also tends to bring )
down his fever. You will need
a pan or basin to use washing your child while he is in bed. and another bowl for washing your own hands immediately after caring for him. A basin to use in case of vomiting is a necessary piece of sickroom equipment, too. for
Should They "Get
"Might
It
and Have
them
It
Over"?
whole list of childhood diseases and have 'em over" was a theory once w idelv accepted. But no child profits bv getting an illness unnecessarily. With two notable excepas well let
get the
probably much better to avoid exposure to contagion at anv age. The two exceptions to this rule are it
mumps for a
is
boy and German measles These are likelv to be less seri-
for a
girl.
doctor, you have to be guided largely
ous and have fewer aftereffects occur before adolescence.
by the past performance of the child himself. If the symptoms and the fever constitute a marked change from his usual behavior, you will want to get in
Reassuring a Sick Child
touch with the doctor at once.
reduce
to
fever.
tions,
Comes
Until the doctor has
\
if
they
you are anxious about the cause of your child's illness, you can at least keep If
Chii.dcru
84
him and
your tension. Vonr youngster does not have that advantage. He feels uncomfortable or is in pain and. besides, he is confused bus)
taring for
relieve
by the fuss and bustle over his illness. The calmer and the more casual you can be when he takes sick, the better off he will be. If he has had a friendly relationship with doctors in the past, he will tend to be less frightened now, and caring for him will be easier. It is to be hoped you have consistently presented doctors in a friendly light and not used them as a threat or a punishment. The
The Doctor and the Dentist Child's Friends, in Volume explains how you can build a friendly
chapter
— Your 1
3,
i
become because
make
ill,
it
combined with annoyance
interferes with your plans, can
difficult to give
it
the child the
you can admit your annoyance, it makes it easier to go ahead and care for your boy or girl right attention. Often,
if
properly. In
The
Case
of
Accident
emergencies
occur with sprains, cuts, bruises, and burns are less frightening if you are prepared to deal with them. Accident prevention is acute
that
of course of vital importance. It
is
dis-
cussed in the chapter on Accident Pre-
feeling toward the family's medical adyisers.
Admit Your
Own
Feelings
Diseases often
mean
a great deal
more
than just danger to a child's health.
They are real annoyances to parents. They tend to occur at just the wrong time in family planning. It is not mean or wrong to admit that they are inconvenient.
But
it is
down
an old card table and you have a large, steady surface for eating, for games,
important not to take
Cut
out feelings of annoyance on the child who has developed the illness. The feeling of guilt that you have because he has
the legs on
or construction.
Pin a shoe
V"
'"'3
tar
bag
to the side of the
mat-
tress to hold toys, cleaning tissue, flashlight,
and sundry
treasures,
save yourself countless steps.
and
When vention
Is
Volume
15.
Children Get Sick
Your Responsibility, With a limited amount
in
sary.
If
of
you.
One
you can usually at least keep the injury from becoming worse until you get medical help. Your immediate temporary care may even hasten preparation,
recovery.
A
few supplies kept on hand, and
kept together, are essential. A roll of bandages, gauze squares, adhesive, and band-aids are sufficient for your bandag-
Have on hand some simple antiseptic, such as metaphen or merthiolate, recommended by your physician. ing needs.
Remember is
that the best cleansing agent
nearly always soap and water. In ap-
plying bandages of
all
kinds,
you
will
need a pair of scissors. A small tweezers for the removal of splinters is useful on your first-aid shelf, too.
What
Do
to
for
Burns and Breaks
The modern
ideas about burns sug-
any burn that is at all extenbest to do nothing except make
85
way
physician or find a to a hospital.
The
a
to get the child
important immediately to wash from the skin any excess of the poisonous material. If there seems to be any great amount of any kind of poison swallowed, try to get the child to vomit. The simple child.
It
is
method of gagging the child will often induce him to vomit. It is often important to try to get some simple neutralsuch as milk or water, into him, in order to increase the vomiting and dilute the poison at the same time. Mustard or salt in water may be quite nauseating to the child and accomplish the purpose. Lukewarm water is usually nauseating. If izer,
gagging has not induced vomiting, these may be added to the diluting substance in order to speed up his vomiting. Ipecac,
the time-honored remedy for
all
must be used with caution
sive, it is
and only according
doctor or hospital. In contrast, in any accident involving a broken bone or suggesting the breaking of a bone, get medical care to the child. Further damage might be done by moving him. If you understand the prin-
down
other can manage the
poisoning,
the child as quickly
to help
adult should track
gest that, in
real efforts to take
someone
possible, get
to the doctor's or-
ders.
as possible to a
through taking one of available courses, you may find
ciples of first aid
the
many
yourself
therefore
much better much more at
prepared,
and
ease in handling
these emergencies as they arise. But re-
member one first
aid
is
—
of the basic principles of
Case If,
oi
your precautions, vour
child swallows poison, medical help plus
your
to
of a sick child
own prompt
action will be neces-
likely
is
be somewhat babyish. In the ordinary
care of his sickness, forts
babyhood
of
some he
com-
of the
In his
are present.
feelings of discomfort,
needs
really
once more the solace that
usually
is
granted only to babies. In the beginning of his illness
it is
easy to give
and it both you and your attention,
One
is
this
advantageous for
child.
to
child's
body
thirsty.
babyhood
drink rather than eat.
desire
is
him
of the simple instances of the
value of the return to
Poisoning
in spite of
for the Sick Child
The behavior
get medical help as quickly
as possible.
In
Caring
uses
The
up more
fluid,
loss of appetite
is
the
The
and he
seems to
be the body's way of conserving energy, for if he eats less, the child's body will
Toys
long
since
grown come
out-
into their
own
again, for they are less taxing to a sick
and weary
Konh
Fred G.
have
automatically After
less
a brief illness,
work
to
do.
the need for extra
child.
valuable suggestions for the
six-
to tcn-
vear-old's comfort, too.
attention and the dependent, babyish
ways of behaving tend to disappear as the voungster feels better. In a long illness, an important part of convalescence will consist in
helping the child
come
back to the stage of development usuallv expected of him at his age.
How Can He
A
Be Kept Busy?
child needs to be kept occupied as
he does not own boredom.
well as comfortable, so that fall
The
into the trap of his
chapter Ouiet Play, in
has good suggestions.
Volume
The kind
8,
of plav
materials will of course vary with the
How Can You Keep Him
Comfortable?
each child. Some children are quite satisfied with reading. But what thev icad should be simpler than the books they usually tackle when well. 'I "he vounger children will prefer simple
tastes of
Medicines should be kept out of a and given according to the doctor's orders. Children are not much impressed with the fnssv attention of the adult sickroom, lire simpler the bed is kept, the better. If the child is to be in a reclining position, it is important that he be well propped from behind. Soft pillows do not give him the support he needs, but a back rest, possiblv with child's reach
a
pillow
over
You
it.
games and tunities
ing.
'I
may make him com-
Happy,
1
ping a Convai in
Volume
13.
i
Although
either the radio or the
will
he chapter Ki
clm Child
draw.
enjov opportelevision
and radio provide a method of keeping a bov or girl quiet, neither one is the answer for a full day. It is usually a good plan to agree on a few programs that your voungster likes, but not to keep
need some sort of play table that can also be used for eat-
fortable.
to
will particularly
TV set going con-
hen the programs are a diversion and something to look forward to.
tinually.
s-
You
has
86
1
will
probablv notice that a child
When who
Children Get Sick
not feeling well tends to play with toys he has outgrown and discarded, rather than with toys that would normally appeal to him and challenge is
This ing on a lower
his powers.
because he is operatlevel than when he is is
come if
dependent on his mother than his only companion.
less
she
is
Children of school age, if they are ill any length of time, are anxious to keep up with their school work. If this cannot be arranged through a visiting for
the
teacher,
well.
A
few days or a week or two in bed can also be a time to catch up on former good intentions. Most school-age boys and girls have some kind of collection piled up in an odd corner. If the items in the collection arc not too large, this is the moment to sort them out and bring them into some kind of appropriate order.
Sometimes
a child
who must
stay in
bed can help Mother by doing some sorting for her. Boys as well as girls may
87
members
child's
friends
of the family
who
or
other
attend the
same school can bring him books and assignments.
Regaining Independence
mother constantly has shown her concern and her anxietv over the illness, If a
may have absorbed her attitude. He may even have become demanding and overbearing. Some youngthe child
can be a source of entertainment during
have a tendency to be quite willing to prolong being sick. The physician is the mother's main guide in avoiding or in handling this problem. Often a mother can sense the point when being sick stops but staying in bed, because it is easy, begins. Then she can gradually cut down her attention and may perhaps put a certain amount of pressure on the child for getting up. The more an illness can be part of the ordinary routine of
convalescence, too.
life,
take pleasure in organizing a recipe
file
They can even help with the perpetual job of sorting clothes, provided the illness is not one that could or a button box.
be carried that way. Whatever our age, we pictures.
The
all
delight in
family's collection of old
snapshots, post cards, or Christmas cards
Many
sters
the
more apt
a
boy or
girl is
to re-
mothers have found it a good plan to put away one or two superfluous Christmas presents against the time when a youngster needs something to pull him out of the doldrums. If a child must be in bed for a long time, find out if vour public library has
turn to his normal situation quickly. Sometimes children need to be given
some
About His
of the services that are described
in the chapter
Your Public Keeping
Up
Making the Most of
Library, in this volume.
with Friends and School
Your physician to tell
will
be the best one
you how much company
can have.
lowed to
If
a child
other children can be
visit, a
al-
youngster tends to be-
confidence in their
sumc
own
ability to reJ
their usual routines
and responsi-
bilities.
What Should a
The
Child Be Told
Illness?
is not much upset by knowing that he has one of the contagious diseases. If he has a more serious difficulty, he will take his cue from his parents' feelings about the severity of
ordinary child
his illness. It is
important to
tell a
child simply
but honestly what the situation
is.
Then
Ciiii DCRA1
ss
1
child will get from going to the
he is less likely to be bothered by things he docs not understand. Always avoid threatening him with becoming siekcr, but give him the feeling he is going
efit a
on toward better health. *if yon rest quietly, you'll feel better" or "If you do
Children imitate their parents' feelings about health as thev do about other things. A parent may use his or her concern about illness as a way of control
doctor says, you'll get well faster" can be the keynote, rather than "If you don't do such and such, you will get worse." as the
A
certain
number
of children have to
go to the hospital. If doctors have been presented in a friendly light and not used as "bogey men," going to the hospital
will
be
suggestions
frightening. 1 lie
far less
in
the
chapter
If
Child Goes to the Hospital,
ume
13,
are helpful
for a
Your in
Vol-
school-age
child as well as a younger one. Because six- to ten-year group can understand more about themselves, they should be given an opportunity to ask questions about the hospital experience before they arc taken there. Here again it is helpful to emphasize the ben-
children in the
hospital.
Attitudes That Foster Health
over the child, making the child feci
weak and dependent on the
parent.
vou have intense concerns about illness, your child is likely to pick them up. Sometimes he trades on them for If
own
purposes. worried about his his
He maw own
your children the most good
and
talk of yourself
too,
health. if
become You do
vou think
and of them
as the
kind of persons who tend to be healthy. You want your youngster to have a picture of himself as a well, strong person.
Can a
Child Be Responsible for Health?
should not be looked upon as punishments. Do not blame an illness Illnesses
on your
child,
I-'ritz
even
if
he did go out
Ilenle
The child who must go to the hospital needs encouragement, reassurance, and honest explanations, so that hospital routines will not be so alarming.
When
Children Get Sick
89
Table of Communicable Diseases
HOW LONG FROM EXPOSURE TO ON-
COMMON EARLY
HOW LONG COM-
SET
SYMPTOMS
MUNICABLE
DISEASE
From 14
Chicken Pox
to 21 days
Red
on skin
spots
Until
and fever
From
German Measles
14 to 21 days
Rash, slight swelling of glands at back of
From
Measles
8 to
15 davs
have
scabs
fallen off
S davs
from onset
neck
cough, waterv eyes, running
Fever,
'
Until
unusual of nose
all
running
and eves stops; minimal period 4
nose, rash
davs before to 9 days after onset
From
Meningitis (all forms)
2
to
10 days
Headache,
Variable; as long as
fever,
symptoms
vomiting, pain or
last
on bending neck or back
stiffness
forward
From
Mumps
12 to 36 days:
usually 18 days
possibly
Uncertain,
Poliomyelitis (Infantile Paraly-
3
10
davs;
sis)
commonlv
6 davs
to
Swelling under jaw or in front of ear
About
frctfulness,
Fever,
vomiting; pain or stiffness
or feet
of
has
Until swelling disappeared 3
weeks after
onset
neck
and hands;
weakness
Commonlv
Whooping Cough can
be
ally
prevented by
in-
days
(usually
7,
within
usu-
10
Most contagious
Cold, cough: typical whoop begins 10 davs after onset
carlv stages
—
in
- to
14 days
of disease
oculation) 1
without his rubbers in the rain the day before he took sick! The school-age child understands the simple principles of cleanliness.
He Knows
—
considerable
about his body hygiene probably far more than you think. You can reasonably expect him to report changes in his body habits. It is important to allow him to report in his own fashion, even if his vocabulary is not always acceptable. The mother who sets up strict stand-
ards of
what
shall
and what
talked about in the family
not be prevent
shall
may
her child from discussing with her an illness regarding any part of his body, but particularly the genital area or the di-
constipation
symptom of can be made more pro-
nounced by
a parent, out of misunder-
gestive tract. Tire simple
standing. It can be
complaint,
about
it.
A
if
made
a child
is
into a serious afraid to talk
child can learn to fear talk-
Childcraft
Qo about
ing
changes
his
in
digestion.
about skin diseases, or other illnesses. Then a child may suffer because of not being permitted to talk out his feelings. Getting Health Facts Straight
such show. A Youngster usually gives himself away cither by his embarrass-
ment, or by joking about the fact that he is trying to earn out a little plav of his own. When it is clear that a child actually has no real signs of illness, you
Children of today are nearly always exposed to a considerable amount of health education in schools. This can make living more comfortable and
can
them. Sometimes they misunderstand some of the discussion in school. It is important that they be able to come to you to straighten out their misunderstandings. If you yourself feel that what they have been told in school is inadequate or confusing, check with
illness
for
easier
vonr
own
physician
to
out
straighten
any mistaken notions. The wisps of information that we have all picked up here and there are not the best information to pass on to our children.
When
the physician says that a child
has recovered,
well to try to follow
it is
out his advice. You want to get your child back to a normal life. In the interests of getting accurate information, be perfectly clear in vour own mind about
Then you
the doctor's instructions.
will
way
let
him know
that
and fricndlv
in a firm
you arc not being fooled.
This out-and-out pretending to be sick is not to be confused with the real
may
or pain that a child
who
stomach-ache and is definitely nauseated when he must go to school, ma}' be ill from anxiety about going to school or leaving home. His case is entirely different from child
has a severe
that of the gold-brickcrs. Just because the cause
is
fear rather
than infection does not mean that a child can easily be reasoned out of his difficulties. He may not be aware of the real cause of his trouble. You will want your physician's help in getting at that cause. This that
is
the kind of situation
may be helped
greatly
by someone
trained to handle such behavior prob-
lems.
The
Family Guidance Volume 15, will be inter-
chapter
Services, in
not set up unnecessary restrictions, nor will you tend to be unduly worried
esting in this connection.
about you doubt about how much your child should do, it is always better to consult your physician than to make the rounds of friends and neighbors for medical ad-
quent, or persistent complaint,
future
illnesses.
If
are
in
vice.
"Gold-Bricking," or Emotionally-Based
The
art of
ing to be
ill,
Ills
avoiding work by pretend-
known
in the
army
as "gold-
is a dodge many children emfrom time to time. Most of us unploy
bricking,"
derstand our to
tell
when
own
children well enough
they arc putting on
some
have,
due to some emotional disturbance. The
Whenever to have
a child has a severe, fre-
him examined
it is
well
to determine the
cause and find the remedv.
Each child
have his share of common infections during his school days. If parents do not use doctors and illnesses as threats of punishment, if they can control their anxiety
when
a child
will
is
ill
probablv
and give him
confi-
dence in his own general health, they will speed recovery. A healthy attitude toward health in children is to a great extent created by the example their parents give them through the years.
12.
WHAT PLAY MEANS TO YOUR
13.
CHILDREN NEED TIME FOR PLAY AND HOBBIES
14.
CHILDREN NEED SPACE AND PLAY MATERIALS
Plav in later
is
a child's
childhood
way
CHILD
of learning
and growing
as well as in the early years. Chil-
dren find sheer joy in play but they also practice for many actiyities that will be part of their life when they are grown. In play they can work out many experiences that haye been confusing, and they also reliye many pleasant experiences.
and prepare
Children need time for play. School and special lessons sometimes fill a child's life to such an extent that no time is left for doing exactly as he chooses. No matter how worth-while each lesson and each scheduled actnity is in itself, the sum total can be too much of a good thing.
Children need space indoors and out for play. Most families have less space than they would like, but. with ingenuity in making the most of what is a\ailable. you can usually proxidc some place to keep toys, and even space to use them.
Play materials
need not be expcnsi\e. but
something to play with tools arc for a
housewife.
economy
A
workman
is
as necessary for a child as
or kitchen utensils are to a
few sturdy, well-chosen toys are an
in the long run.
Gendreau
WHAT BARBARA BIBER, Bank
New
PLAY MEANS
TO YOUR CHILD
Ph.D.
Street College of Education. York, N. Y.
ample opportunity
for
it
during the
school years, as there was in the earlier
our own minds, we tend
Inplay
years of childhood.
to separate
We
play,
from work. do not regard pleasant though it may be, as
Play
We
essential to getting along in life, in the
sense that
work
is.
Most
of us
Is
would
play
is
a Sign
to children
notice
walk, or sometimes run,
trated they
But
to be able to
foot, to
ride a bicycle "no-hands," or to play a fast set of tennis
Why These
Is
not.
Play Necessary?
girls
living.
according to his recreation
we
how
absorbed and concen-
laughing excitedly as they tunnel
for healthy, bal-
need recreation, each
ing tide turns their deep, dry holes into
own
mud
vital
We
of
toward each other in the sand. Thev try to make hands meet before the incom-
so-called "unnecessary" activi-
ties actually are
anced
is
how important when we stop to take
become. Watch a boy sitting quietly in a corner, determined to figure out how a mechanical puzzle works. His tongue is as active as his fingers, and his mind is busier than either. Look at two
necessary.
hop on one
Health
get an idea of
argue, for example, that to be able to is
of
refresh
tastes.
Through
ourselves,
basins.
The
heat of day, the chill of rain, even the pangs of hunger are not sufficient to
rest
from our daily pressures and responsibilities, and get a new slant on things. For our children, play is an essential part of growing up. There should be
intrude on the absorption of a child at
Every parent knows how often the simple reminder to come in to supper, play.
93
—
Childcrai
94 to stop for breath, or to leave the for
tomorrow,
is
game
met with resentment
by the child. The heartbroken plea for "just a couple o' minutes more" is the
main
source of
of the daily conflicts be-
we
take
worry, or child's his
interest in play a sign that
use of their bodies the thrilling sense of
three.
all
childhood
is
We
see in a
being strong, capable people.
going well.
What Purpose Does Play Serve? Studies of the in a child's
pla\
adult eyes, children often seem to
young
as a sign of trouble, illness,
Inch
skating
be amazingly willing to wear themselves out in the endless pursuit of fun. But they are finding in the skillful, playful
a child loses his taste for play, it
world of water. Climbing on ice, jumping rope, trees, dodging in and out of games of tag arc only a few of the countless forms of physical play children enjoy deeplv. at least, the
To
tween parents and children.
When
l
Play Clears up Confusions
meaning and value of development as a per-
In their make-believe play, children
accomplish
shown that it helps children think more clearly and manage their feelings more successfully. Play helps a
and grow a chance
grow up with feelings of confidence and interest in himself, in his friends, and in the world around him. Through play, children gain muscular skills and co-ordination. To be able to swim through the cool waters of a lake,
deepen
son have
child
or
to
ride
the
head-on, gives a
waves of a high surf child a wonderful feel-
ing of being in control of himself. feels
He
he can "stand up" to the world
in
a great deal of self-teaching
many
directions.
Thev have
to live over again the experi-
ences that are important to them.
Thev
and think through They meet practical prob-
their feelings
their ideas.
lems and ask themselves new questions about the world. Here is a group of children pretending the\- are out in the ocean in boats. Six-year-old Susan claims hers is a submarine. She sways back and forth, pulling energetically on a pair of imaginarv oars. She calls to the child in the next "boat,"
Suzanue Szasz
"Look
out,
I'm
rowing by."
Peter stops hoisting his imaginarv
sail
long enough to call back, "Hey, you don't tow a submarine." Susan keeps on rowing, but the expression on her face
shows that she has something new to wonder about "What do you do to make a submarine 20?"
—
Play Furthers Self-Understanding
A
child
gains
strength
from being
They splash, they kick, and they fairly wallow in the water. At the same time they gain strength and smoother coordination through their play.
Keystone
Understanding of other people expands as the children imitate the ieelings as well as the actions of their heroes. Here, they are dashing to a fire.
own
able to express himself in his
way.
sources
Such expression helps him discover his own talents. For one child, it mav come through a poem about a river:
When
Plav
rustling over
an interesting and
life.
Through Play, Experiences Are Relived
the wind blows,
Waves go
living
for
worth-while
is
events in
me.
a
chance to make important
life
happen
again. In the end-
hours of plaving house children live over again the deep meanings and the fascinating activities of being members of a family. Babies are scolded, petted, and put to sleep, and thev get lost. Mothers iron and cook and make lists to go shopping. Fathers earn" on an endless parade back and forth to offices and shops. Families go on picnics, or move
less I
shiver,
I'm cold. It ripples so, it itches
me.
For another child, the bright-colored painting of a Mexican man with his big hat sliding off his head, or the slimvlooking alligator molded out of clav, is a
For
another child, the perkv-looking snowman with satisf acton"
creation.
shining coals for eyes
is
a
still
their belongings, or visit neighbors.
proud achieve-
"While the children go through these plav maneuvers, they are experiencing
ment.
The kind
play
of
paint, clav, or
snow
the vast ups and
where words or are used without
tion.
feel that his
own
and worth-while.
It
helps
him
helps
him
human emo-
sense of being loved and the
own. The pleasure of eating and the annoyance of being put
ideas are interesting It
of
hurt of being scolded, the fear of being lost and the excitement of going places
adult directions, adds to a child's growing confidence in himself.
The
downs
are
believe
that inside himself there are great re-
made
their
to sleep are re-enacted.
95
ClIII.DCRAl
96 Play Gives a Sense
Certain
of
Power disadvantages go
inevitable
along with being small, weak, and de-
pendent
in relation to
grownups. Chil-
They
feel this lack of strength.
dren
of-
I
answered her, rub you."
On
"It's
only a kidney,
make
to
ings
expressed.
sense,
but look
Hie
at the feel-
children
reassure
by refusing to take adviee. by going against rules, by "break-
themselves that for pain there
ing the bounds"
there
ten fight against
it
in a variety of ways.
Sonic of this feeling can work
itself out,
and satisfvingly. as children weave magic world for themselves in their
safely a
imaginative play.
To
be the storekeeper taking in the play money, to be the captain shouting orders to the mate, to be the pilot navigating bv instruments when the ceiling is zero are play-ways of walking in grown-up shoes. Through play a bov or girl feels, for a deep, magic moment, the glorv of being big and brave and important. Plav
is
the expression of a child's
wish and dream for the future. Play Relieves Anger and Anxiety
Even'
child,
even the most loved and
protected, experiences fear, anger,
worn Growing up -
.
is
and
too complicated a
process to be a path of roses for anvone
— nor would we our children.
Our
wish
to
it
be that for
rcsponsibilitv
is
to see
fort, for illness is
there
is
me
may not
the surface, the words
seem
let
is
com-
cure, for sorrow
sympathy.
The games
and robbers, ghosts and witches, dragons and monsters arc wavs the child gains strength bv becoming the master of his feelings. The pretending to kill and prethat feature cops
tending to die that appear frequcntlv in children's spontaneous plav often serve a useful purpose. Play Makes
While
A
for Sociability
the}" play,
children need each
have a customer, an engineer needs passengers on his train, the farmer needs horses and a babv colt. In this kind of playing together children have a chance to realize other.
store clerk has to
and appreciate the true meaning of give and take. At the same time, each child feels the special importance that comes to all persons from being needed by others.
While thev
plav. voungsters create a
that they are able to handle their dis-
world altogether their own. This world
turbed feelings. Some of this we can do for our children. Some thev can do best for themselves. In their play, thev create situations that bring back angrv feelings
offers the pleasure of escape
and
from the
adult-dominated, real-life world of mealtimes, manners, reasonableness, and application to tasks.
anxieties. In playing out these feel-
ings imaginativelv. children find relief.
Often they become less grv. less anxious about
afraid, less anreal
people or
events.
Playing about illness and hospitals is an example of this "safety valve" action. "My head, my head," one child said, "I'm going to die from my head." The child
who was "Father"
in
this
game
Watch Play
to
Know
Children
and teachers realize that bringing up children and educating them are jobs that cannot be done "in the dark." We would like to know what is on our children's minds, what reallv interests them. A good parent or teacher wants to know what troubles children and what their deep wishes are. Asking Parents
Inner poise freely in his
and confidence come when a
own way through
child is allowed to express his ideas creative play that he himself chooses.
ClIII.DCR\FT
98
questions docs not help much.
direct
Especially during the school years, natural that
many
it
is
children should not
seem interested in lengthy conversations with grownups. At this stage von can make good use of \ our own eyes and ears if you wish to understand and keep in touch with your children. "They're playing," you are likely to saw and turn away, relieved, perhaps, that for the moment you can "They're thing they
free of responsibility. Or,
be at
it
again, with every last
strewn over the floor, and making more noise than anyone should have to put up with." Tovs can make a mess,
bride and, flushed with the spirit of play,
chance to be the beauty is a tonic for Mary! A quiet, obedient child may insist on
a beautiful one, too.
being the child pass
Iliis
bossv" teacher.
"strict,
who shivers when the may be most agile and
fire
The
engines
enthusiastic
about placing the ladders against the "burning" house. The wildest "shooter" in the game may be the bov who did not blink an eve when his father explained why the oldest son could not be home this Christmas, or any Christmas again.
own
and noise can be disturbing! But it is usuallv all in the service of a good cause
— the
children's growth.
Stop long enough to "listen" to the noise and to "watch" the mess. Look through the commotion and perhaps vou can know children in intimate and important ways. Jimmy, who would not explain what possessed him to run awav during that last trip on the fern", is excitedlv telling
John that they "can't turn
How Can We
Tn
Use the Cues?
to understand
how
plav
is
con-
nected with the events and emotions of children's dailv lives. Then vou can be closer to your children than anv direct questioning and answering could ever bring you. But it is well to obsen'e a measure of sensitive caution. Children appreciate adults
who
respect a closed
"Oh! Go awav!" from an
door.
not a personal insult. child will be deeplv moved
year-old
A
eight-
is
surprised at Christmas with a
—
if
he
is
book that
knows without being what interests him most. Father
around to go back. Ferrvboats don't
shows
turn around, thev just go backwards."
told
He
explains about the two little houses on up top, where the captain sits, depending on which trip the ferrv is making. Now you see that Jimmy just had to
found out by having an ear open to his son's play. Being understood without any lecturing about it helps children feel
explore the ferrvboat.
and
How Does
Man thinks
-
is
which of
the prettier.
their
Today she
in the leftovers of a
is
marqui-
with paper cut-outs of flowers bobby-pinned into her hair. For a while, she is the queen with two recurtain,
luctant attendants.
with
interest.
Play Reflects Growth
more than her family
she has about
decked out sette
assured over again of their parents' love
Play Reveal Needs?
has heard
daughters
—
his father
Bobby
A
few minutes
co-operating,
she
later,
is
the
Many dren
familiar signs
tell
vou vour
chil-
growing up. Clothes grow words grow longer. Two-wheelers are parked where kiddv-kars used to stand. This changing and growing is rearc
smaller,
flected in plav, too.
The
boys, with their endless batting-
and the
jumping
in
and
out of the rope are trying to master
defi-
the-ball,
girls
—
**i
I
4f
Stores need customers, and housekeepers need supplies; and the chil-
dren discover that cooperation
is fun.
*; A. Devaney
nite
and
difficult skills.
Thev
arc eager to
be able to accomplish these feats and enjov their growing competence. Thev have their sights set on the grown-up world. ast
Watch
imitate
a
young baseball enthusi-
and interesting to school-age children. Their plav shows it. The plav skyscrapers are built higher and higher. Plav farms begin to duplicate the com-
fascinating
plicated workings
the exact wind-up of his
There
of a
modern
farm.
Playing train includes ideas and props
and dining cars. Switches sometimes fail to work and cause hor-
no assurance that he can get the bat and the ball into contact more than once in ten tries, but
for
that will not bother him.
from the days when playing "choochoo" meant a lot of scrambling in and out of a row of chairs. The six- and seven-vear-olds play store, house, school, traveling, war everything that comes within their hori-
favorite player.
How Do Six-
Six-
is
rendous
and Seven-Year-Olds Play?
and seven-year-olds cannot vet
game
learn or use the rules of a baseball.
But thev show growing
like
interest
games that are played according to some rules. Even a matter as simple as that
touching the oak
tree
makes vou "safe" in a game of tag is a step toward more organized play. Sixand seven-year-olds begin to collect and trade
all
kinds of objects
— bottle
disasters.
This
own growing
intelli-
gence allows
become more
elabo-
it
to
rate.
People that children have never seen but who take a place in their imaginary
scheme
caps,
of things figure in their play.
Playing about these
arc getting a taste of the buying-and-sell-
als
ing activities of grownups.
to express feelings.
skyscrapers
of rivers
and
and subways,
reapers, of is
way
a long
plav, just as their
marbles, playing cards. In so doing thev
The world
is
zon. Richer experience nourishes their
in
deciding
signals
endlesslv
99
is
a new,
unknown
individu-
more grown-up way, now,
The
children "try
on"
all
feel.
Superman, G-men, cowbovs,
kinds of characters for
fit
and
spies.
ClIIT.DCRAFT
lOO
nurses. ship captains, space cadets, prin-
and princesses live a busy life in the homes, on the porches, in the schoolrooms, and on- the playgrounds of the first- and second-graders! Six- and seven-year-olds get in and out of fights and disagreements as they try to merge their ideas and feelings in the magical process of play. Only occasionallv do these require an adult referee. The referee succeeds best when he tries to settle the difficulty by adding some new piece of play material or bv contributing some fresh idea about how the game could be played so as to suit or incipals, circus barkers,
stance flow of ideas that is
formed around
once was.
It
events take
plot,
place according to plan, and children stick to their designated roles as
chosen
or assigned. Eternal Questions Are Tackled
The advancing fourth-,
and
maturity of the
fifth-graders
third-,
shows equally
matter of their play. Life as lived by other people, in faraway in the subject
places
and
in long-past times,
lived vividly
is
now
re-
and personally. Ideas about
how
people manage their reactions to each other are being worked over in play
and
clude everybody.
a
it
play-acting.
Justice,
slavery,
sacri-
freedom may not be ideas they are ready to discuss in words. But these ideas are themes they are keen about dramatizing. The chance to make plays about unknown people involved in great problems offers a wider stage for working through the personal ideas that are now so important to the children. Fair play among themselves, independence from grownups, uncertainty about the kind of person one wishes to be are of real concern at this age. fice,
How Do Eight- and Nine-Year-Olds The older children will not
Play?
get into
the kinds of difficulties that need to be
or can be so readily arbitrated by grown-
They
more interested in planning ahead of time what the game is to be and how it should be played. They are more capable of learning rules and sticking to them. They feel, and can ups.
are
teach each other, that playing according to the rules
makes
a better
game
in the
end.
This is the stage of growing interest in organized games and team play. Pleasure comes from having a definite part to play and dovetailing it with
someone
else's
Eight-,
they act out stories they have
group of
girls
ready-made may initiate an
elaborate playing-out of a queen's coronation. The boys may reconstruct the exploits of Daniel
The
playing
play-making with their social
of the plot the group has developed.
still
read, or learn the "parts" of
A
combine
and ten-year-olds
and playing about life. Spontaneously, or under teacher's super-
plays.
original
schools, children
equally definite part.
nine-,
people's shoes vision,
many
In
They have the chance to make up their own lines within the demands
the idea of stepping into other
thrill to
Schools Teach Through Play
is
Boone.
no longer the happen-
studies.
Then
children have the direct experi-
ence
of
throwing
themselves
whole-
heartedly into the roles thev play.
Sometimes little
children's play
may make
sense to matter-of-fact adults, but,
throughout the years, play will increase children's confidence and their ability to take their places as the
the future. Play best
way
is,
of learning.
grownups of
indeed, the child's
CHILDREN NEED TIME FOR PLAY
AND
HOBBIES
JOSEPH PRENDERGAST,
M.S.
Executive Director of the National Recreation Association, New York, N. Y.
parent wants the best for his child. But what is best, as far as the
Every
concerned? \\ c know that children must have education, religious training, adequate rest and sleep, and some free time of their own. But what about music lessons, dancing classes, reading, visiting? How about the host of other activities such as taking part in the assemblv program, being in the school play or the church pageant, that add another hour or two use
a
week
of
time
is
to an alreadv full schedule?
In our eagerness to give children advantages, there
is
just
one big rule of
remember: The vantage we can give them
thumb
to
greatest adis
a
happy
childhood.
Children Are Busy People!
The
average schedule of a child
ten years old would
turn pale.
The
make
child's
a
day
six to
businessman is
usually a
series of deadlines.
After he gets up in
the morning, he has to finish whatever
household chores are required of him, eat breakfast, and get to school on time. In school he is likelv to go from deadline to deadline, through reading, arithmetic, spelling, and all the other subjects, all relativelv new to him. At noon he has to get his lunch, or go home for lunch, and meet another deadline at the end of the noon hour. After school he may have more chores at home, be sent to the store, practice his music, or take
part in
some organized group
(
a little
Then dancing lesson he must get cleaned up for dinner, and meet that deadline. After dinner he may have to do a few more chores, like clearing the table. Perhaps there's TV to watch, or a radio program to hear. There's schoolwork to do, too. Then there is bedtime, because he still needs girl
at
101
may have
least
a
ten hours' sleep.
)
Most
.
of the
ClIILDCRAFT
lOZ
time sonic adult who has planned his schedule is hurrying him along, urging him to do more, to do it faster, and to
do
better.
it
Time
Digest Experiences
to
Somewhere
in
that
schedule
tight
—
must be time for play free, unplanned play. Too many things to do and too
much
dren tense, table.
make some
pressure
of our chil-
nervous, and
restless,
Only through the freedom
irri-
of play
can they absorb the new experiences they get each daw The}" need time to use
work out their probtheir hands at creating
their imaginations,
lems, and try
things by themselves.
Some
parents
may
sav,
"But Mary has
Camp
Fire circle,
and her violin lessons and her dancing." There may even be a carefully contrived schedule to prove there is time. But it is not just a matter of working in all these things. The new ideas to be absorbed, the new skills to be learned can be a strain, even though there appear to be enough hours in the week to cram everybe
in.
Excellent as each activity
in itself, the
to
Divide Their Time
Part of playtime ought to be given
over to active, boisterous play that uses the big muscles. Children need activities that include running, jumping, climbing; yes,
include
and
yelling! Part of
relaxing,
creative
it
ought to
play,
like
painting, drawing, modeling, weaving,
and listening to music. Hobbies,
story-
Creative activities like painting relax some high-strung children who become
troublesome
when they
are
tired.
dramatics
like
"dress-
ing-up" or "play-acting," done just for
Children need "time to grow on." There needs to be time for just plain "lolling," or daydreaming! Hie amount of time for each kind of play will vary with the individual child. fun, are relaxing,
The
intense,
too.
highly-keyed
child
mav
need more of creative play, or time for daydreaming, to give him the relaxation he needs. The studious, serious child might need to be encouraged to spend more time in active, outdoor play, to give him the physical exercise and the social experiences he needs. The tempo
For
the
is
different.
average
ten-year-old,
the
twenty-four hours of a dav are distributed something like the following in a
This does not mean thev should be so distributed, but that studies have
year.
shown Sleep
that they are.
—allowing
—
10 hours a day total hours, .66 per cent of the year. or 41 3,650 Routine Activities allowing 30 minutes a
—
meal for eating, plus an average of
1
5
may
whole combination can
be overwhelming.
How
simple
of even- child
plentv of time for her
thing
telling,
Mary Eleanor Browning
—
run an errand or stay with the baby should not break into time set aside for that important play.
Requests
to
things a busy child does. Special classes or lessons, shopping, visiting, reading, listening to music,
TV,
radio, all
come
out of that small segment of time. Puttering, working on hobbies, doing household chores, doing schoolwork must be
crowded into
it
as well.
Planning Time with Children
Much
of a child's time
regimented.
The hours
is
necessarily
of getting up,
going to bed, going to school, Gendreau
like leave scant
only minutes each to dress and undress total 730 hours, or 8.33 per cent of the vear.
—
School allowing 5 for 189 days, plus utes each wav to day total 1,134
—
required hours a day an average of 15 mincome and go twice a
cent of the vear. Religious Instruction
hours,
or
12.94
per
—
allowing 1 hour a week, plus 1 5 minutes each wav to come and go total 78 hours, or .08 per cent of the year.
—
Time
Left-over sleeping,
ments
—
—
after
school, total
and
eating,
church
dressing,
It's
3,168 hours, or 36.1 per
Outdoor Play?
that 36.1 per cent of the year that
parents worn' about. Authorities recom-
mend
that kindergarten youngsters
children in the
first,
for choice. It
is
that he have something to say
about his playtime! Routines are not so hard to follow if the child knows why they are set, and can have the chance to have his sav about some of his time! Talking about work and play schedules can offset jealousies between children. "Johnny can stay out until 5 o'clock. his
\Vhv
can't I?"
By
talking over
schedule, each youngster gets the
satisfaction
of being considered as an
individual.
require-
cent of the year.
How Much
fair
room
and the
and
second, and third
grades should spend at least 4 hours a dav in activities involving the big muscles. Youngsters in the fourth and fifth grades should spend at least 3 hours a dav in active, outdoor plav. There goes almost half of that 36.1 per cent free time! And in what is left go all the other
"Johnny is still droopy after his measles and needs extra time to play so he'll feel well and strong again." Or, "Man-, if you have to go back to school to practice your part in the plav, see if you can trade with Billie. Ask him
you tonight, and you wipe dishes for him tomorrow." Children can learn through satisfactory exto set the table for
periences that forethought in planning
keeps them from "getting in a jam."
How Do They
Learn
to
Choose
Such planning together a
103
Activities?
gives parents
chance to put over the point "You
C'hii.dcrm
104
—
Some
be in everything let's choose." children need to be protected
from
their
can't
own boundless enthusiasm
even thing that goes on. Even the six- and seven-year-olds for taking part in
can get the idea of weighing the alternatives. Discussing choices gives a valuable insight into what children consider im-
Sometimes this is different from what we adults think! Such discussion encourages personal choice, and
in
family, too.
When
everyone plans
gether and works together, there to be
more time
When
a plan
should respect
two
is
to-
likely
excited, or noisy, or
If
it.
on
worked
out. parents
the tempo. Helping you cut out biscuit dough will still be plav to a six-vear-old.
but
You
shopping, or
the
make him mind
the babv
Guiding the Use
Each family about
will
how
of
come
may
Time
to
its
own
de-
the children can best
use their leisure hours, but principles
game
or
Your
TV
do this" or "Let's surprise Daddv bv making biscuits for him." will be more effective. "If you rest in the big chair and this.*'
enthusiastic "Let's
read for half an hour.
I'll
be finished
my work and we
game."
is
can all plav a often a workable solution.
Who Benefits from Special Lessons? Make sure the "extras" such as music lessons
and dancing
classes are for the
child's sake, not for
at that time.
cision
do
be relaxing after too exprogram. need not make it "Stop that and
will also
citing a
the plan includes
plavground for Johnny, do not forget and send him hours
whim. \Mien vou
notice signs of fatigue in plav. change
with
to plav together. is
each child. They will vary. One child get irritable, another may get over-
may
portant.
involves consideration of others in the
I
some general
be useful to vou.
Learn to recognize the signs of fatigue
your own! Sometimes parents think back over things they have missed, and insist on such things even though the bov or girl is not ready for them, or is not interested. If children are to have special lessons, cul-
an interest in the activitv before pushing them into it. "Expose" vour
tivate
A Devaney
What can equal
the
of the
first cookout of spring, especially
thrill
when it is a spur-of-themoment affair?
Children Need Time for Play and Hobbies child to music, painting, or dancing before starting the formal lessons.
Be
sure
about why you want him to learn something like music or dancing. Is he especially talented? Or do you just want
him
to learn to like
and appreciate
Perhaps you think of
it
it?
only as a social
Whatever the reason, if the lessons become drudgery to a boy or girl, or become a reason for family arguments, they are not worth much. Find
asset.
you can about the instructor and the methods he uses, and pick the inout
all
who
esting!
105
Avoid that "Just
me
let
minutes more!" by giving some leeway. "Dinner will be on the table in ten minutes, so you'd better stop at the end of that chapter," or "It'll be bedtime in ten minutes, so you'll just have to finish the puzzle," can often avert arguments, struggles, and the cry of "I never have time to do what I want." A "cooling-off" period at bedtime is good for the same reasons. Reading in bed for fifteen minutes, listening to a the
chapter"
or
five
"Just
make the lessons fun and interesting. The chapters Music for Children and Painting, Drawing,
record, pasting in a scrapbook, or
and Modeling,
of leisureliness about the
structor
will
volume, suggest the values that are to be found when in this
these activities really appeal to a child.
You
can be willing to compromise.
A
boy might prefer to learn to play the trumpet instead of the piano or violin. The girl might like tap dancing better than
ballet.
finish
some
quiet conversation can help a child shed
the tensions of the day and have a sense
whole business
of living.
In addition to needing time for play
and hobbies, to his age.
a child needs toys suitable
He
needs, too, games he can
The chapters in this volume, What Play Means to Your Child and Children Need Space play without adult help.
and Play
Flexibility Stretches
Time
You need
not be afraid to be flexible. When a Saturday morning comes along that seems just made for fishing, let the lawn mowing go until later. Nobody's character will be weakened, and Johnny will
be a more willing helper because
you are reasonable.
Think up
surprises.
A
picnic on the
back porch instead of dinner in the dining room; an unexpected "treat;" a new game for the back yard; or a new puzzle to work after dinner change the tempo of living, and make being home fun. Find, learn, or invent games that
work seem
like play.
fun if everyone game.
Nobody
is
Dishwashing can be
engrossed in a guessing
be stopped abruptly middle of something inter-
likes to
right in the
make
Materials, discuss these points in detail. Creative Play and Hobbies, Volume 8, is full of good suggestions along these lines.
How Can You Make Enjoyment
the
Most
of
Time?
of play flourishes in a re-
atmosphere of interest and love. A child has only a vague notion about time and what it means. adults can learn a lot from children in taking and enjoying each day as it comes! Take time yourself to enjoy the youngsters' giggles and jokes, their enthusiasms and curiosity. It must have been a wise person who remarked, "perhaps parents would enjoy their children more if thev stopped to realize that the film of childhood can never be run through for a second showing." laxed,
friendly
We
—
—
By
Life Photographer Carl
Mydans.
(c)
Time, Inc
CHILDREN NEED SPACE AND PLAY MATERIALS GRACE LANGDON, Child Development Consultant,
well-balanced play For school-age child, one must
for
life
space
and
out.
a
think of smaller
Wide open
spaces
r
in their play.
ITie children arc easier to
too,
they are busy and
if
happy.
Making Room
it
for
Indoor Play
home is small, there how much and what
space in a
the question of
part of
different
solutions,
Some
own
arc
ways easy to arrange, but ingenuity often makes it possible. A busy mother has more peace of mind when she knows her children are interested and occupied
is
dren's plav. Different families
happily even
quarters
becoming more and more scarce. Space for free and varied play is not al-
When
York, N. Y.
Living
are
with,
New
and materials both indoors
than they used to be.
live
Ph.D.
shall
be given over to the
chil-
tastes.
if
work out
according to their
families can live quite
a rocking horse occupies
middle of the living-room floor. Others prize order, but can endure a
the
great deal of noisiness.
A
dinette can sometimes be the play
between mealtimes. A folding table, or one hinged to raise and hook to the wall, allows room to play. In anv area
be some usable space around table and benches, or even underneath, The table and benches themselves can be used for drawing, painting, clay work, and all kinds of sitdown-to-do things. Covering the table with oilcloth, and the chair scats with
event, there
is
some type
of
io6
likely to
plastic
material,
saxes
Children Need Space and Play Materials worry and avoids the need for too many admonitions to be careful. A washable floor covering like linoleum is a help,
plavthings
ous building of a sturdy balcony, with
coverings that tend to diminish noise to be free
and natural than do bare floors. Even in a single-family dwelling, vou
may find that, although own room, he brings
a child
his
wherever the family happens to be. Children are sociable and thev like to be near those thev love. Some arrangement for plaving in the living room, or wherever the family gathers, no matter how much room there may be elsewhere, is usually necessary. Sometimes a corner of the living room can be set apart for a plav area bv a low screen. Children can easily learn that sometimes thev may spread out over the whole room, but at other times, because of family activities, to play in their
it
own
nice opportunity for
the
necessary
is
best for
them
Here is a becoming aware of corner.
give-and-take
of
family
Perhaps there can be a folding
living.
table to set
up
Messv things pasting
for
like
may be
games or handicrafts. painting, cutting, and
limited to places that are
easier to clean up.
Use the Odd Corners
Dad
If
has a workshop,
mavbe
there
can be arrangements so that the youngsters, bovs and girls alike, have a place
and
A
own. Then they can whatever project is under way,
tools of their
join in
rumpus room
is
usually a source of
enjoyment
if
it
great
is
built for chil-
dren's use as well as adults'. But, for the
children
to
enjoy
it,
it
care-
fuls."
has his
Apartment house plav does call for some thinking about the neighbors, especially if walls and floors are thin. Floor
more chance
hedged about bv "don'ts" and "be
Often a little room that otherwise would be a storeroom or a family "catchall" has been fixed up for a workshop, or "do-as-we-please room." There seems to be a great satisfaction in having one spot where plav or work can be left standing, to be continued later. Attics, garages, and outside sheds have endless plav possibilities that often pass unnoticed. Sometimes the ingeni-
too.
give the children
107
must not be
(
high,
)
secure
railing,
salvages
unused
space for plav. Be sure the palings are stout
and
close together.
The more
plav
opportunity a child has at home, the less likely he is to go afield to find his fun, or to come asking, "What can I do
now. Mother?"
Make With
the Most of Outdoor Play
imagination, vou can do things
interesting
with
even
a
many little
ground outdoors. Perhaps there is a tree with a good strong limb just waiting for a swing. Mavbe there is a tree where a tree house can be built in the lower branches.
If
the youngster
who
will oc-
cupy it is nine or ten years old, it must be high enough for a ladder that can be pulled up in true storybook fashion to insure complete protection from invading enemies. For younger children, a lower tree house suffices. It can be built as a broad platform around the tree a few feet above the ground, with sturdy, fixed steps leading up to it. If
there
is
a place to
pitch a tent,
hours of fun are insured. Tents are equally good for doll plav, as Indian tepees (tipis) for camp life, or for cowboy headquarters. Even if the back yard is big enough only for a clothesline, a blanket thrown across it and staked
There
never-failing
is
magic
in
tree
houses. Even if they are only a few feet off the ground, they are miles above
humdrum world
the
down days.
of adults.
except on wash one corner of the yard Perhaps
will serve as a tent
can be enclosed for a playhouse.
room
is
for
some
large
If
wooden
there
boxes,
provide the enclosed space
these can
children love.
A
porch, even a
place for play.
little
Make
one,
is
an ideal
sure that the floor
the railing secure, and the steps steadv. If it is a large porch, perhaps one is
safe,
end can be screened
off.
Children
like to
have their play area defined, and to
know
that this particular space
is
their
very own.
lire freer your children are to play,
the
more
likelv thev are to
gathering of their friends.
have a dailv
The
grass will
be trampled more, too, but the plav equipment will reallv be used. You will know more, too, of what is going on in vour children's lives. You will be able to help the youngsters learn the ways of getting on with others.
How Much Emphasis It is
the same thing to the children as to the adult.
How Much
Many on Order?
possible to be so fussy about hav-
ing toys in apple-pie order that children
think twice before plaving with them.
use.
have
too
selves that they are unwilling to
playmates touch their tovs. But it is not good, either, to be so lax that playthings are always underfoot.
.
Tie
on
We can
most
much
will often
think
help them select the places is
have definite ideas on where
they want their tovs.
own room,
may not mean
reallv
these details for themselves, though thev
Some
themselves. Orderliness
children
to ask children to think out
kept, or
help should be given to keep things in order, but not enough to prevent the youngsters taking responsibility
Up?
suitable for different things. It
happy medium is some insistence enough to spoil the
order, but not
fun.
times
in Picking
thev have "cleaned up," when things still look a mess to the grownup. Perhaps we need to help the children sort things and group them for convenient
Sometimes vour extreme carefulness results in the children being so fussv them-
'I
Help
If
there if
is
a
plavroom where tovs are
thev are kept in the child's
sometimes works out well to have periodic "clean-up" times. These can be "fixing" times as well, if toys arc
coming 08
it
apart.
Children Need Space and Play Materials Close your eyes to disarray in the meantime, unless it gets too bad. Often space is limited and family comfort calls for tovs to be picked up and put away many times a daw If that is the case, you can sometimes lend a helping hand even to the
six-
and seven-Year-olds.
What Kind
Some have
parents have found
sets of shelves
on
it
casters.
it
that they will
up. to
lift
make
storage
space. Bags of stout material that can be
hung on
strong, sturdv
hooks are useful and the like.
to take care of small blocks
Everyone Needs Some Privacy
useful to
The
tovs
can then be rolled easily from here to there.
can double for a window seat. Some parents have built a frame around dinette benches and hinged the seats so times
Storage Space?
of
log
Often these shelves serve
as the
dividing partition between sleeping and play areas in the child's room. Thev can
room to define plav space. Open shelves make frequentlv-used things more accessible. You may want a few closed cupboards serve similarly in the living
there are two or three children in
If
the family, storage space
may need
among them, and work
divided
to be
area
al-
located so that
all have their chances at Every child needs some place, if onlv a box. for his own. Here he can keep his treasures secure from the prving eves it.
and
fingers of adults or other children.
This
is
one way vou can show respect
a child as
an individual.
What Kind
of
for
for those things used less often. Sliding
doors for cupboards are easilv handled
and are useful
Some
in limited space.
Work Space?
sort of
work area
is
eling, construction
accommodate
of handicrafts. If this spot
varied sizes of tovs.
Some-
sitv for
a real neces-
drawing, writing, pasting,
handv. too. to have closet shelves adjustable, so that thev can be moved to It is
work, and is
all
modkinds
a table
it
convenient to make the first shelf high enough above the floor to let such tovs as the big toy autos. ditch diggers, and trains be run in below. You may wish to have the first shelf high enough to allow space beneath for large wheeled tovs. such as a wagon. The insides of closet doors that open out can
can serve, too, as a place to plav board and card games. A wide shelf or droptable, hinged to the wall, makes good
be shelved for small
Save Space by Hanging Things
times
If
want
it is
living space
to set aside
is
toys.
limited,
you may
some kitchen-cupboard
Some parents have built pans and kettles in order a wall rack for to give over low cupboards for tov storspace for tovs.
age.
A
handy father can build storage bins on casters to fit under a bed or cot or dinette benches, and so provide space for nianv tovs. A low chest on wheels can be kept under a table or bed. too. Some-
work space and can be hooked up out of the way when not in use. Firm brackets mav be enough to hold it. Folding legs add to the steadiness.
A
made
material for easv thumbtacking makes a good place for putting up drawings, paintings, and cutout pictures for tembulletin board
porarv
make
The things children dignitv when thev are put
displav.
acquire
up where thev can be is
limited,
if
If floor
seen. If wall space
the bulletin board can be
hung on the back shelves
of porous
of a section of the tov
these are away from the wall.
space
is
limited, the easel
and
A
fold-away table
trains,
for
construction, or
hobbies saves space and can be built
other
in easily.
American Toy Institute
blackboard can be hung on the wall. Two screw eyes in the tops of the bulletin-board, easel, and blackboard frames,
hooks set in a convenient place, make both use and storage easier. Whichever is needed can then be hung, and the others kept in the closet, assuming you have room in a closet. If you have no other place, slide them under the to
fit
bed.
Some parents have found it useful to cover one area of a wall with a piece of linoleum larger than the easel or blackboard, into which the hooks for these are
set.
Then when
oxer the edge, no
paint or chalk runs
harm
is
done
to the
walls.
Books and magazines part of playtime that
it
are so
much
seems
a
a
good
them along with play equipment, even though most of them idea to provide for
may be
A
kept on the family bookshelves.
door rack
is
handy
for this.
articles
small. is
for
Outdoor Toys
Care of outdoor play equipment often
A
are large
and storage space
small shed
possible. It
is
convenient,
helps to have a
tricvclcs, bikes,
and wagons.
if
that
ramp
If
is
for
there
is
low tree platform, perhaps the space under that can be utilized. Sometimes large wooden packing boxes can be called into service. Again, space under a porch may serve the purpose. One end of the porch might be arranged with shelves a
for small things.
One
wall of the garage
can often be used for storing outdoor can be hung on stout nails. A canvas bag can take care of balls. Sometimes there is a suitable corner in the basement. One ingenious father, when space was at a premium, rigged up
tovs. Sleds
a pullv in
the ceiling in the hallway to
The chapter Making the Most of Your Home, in Volume 8, has more suggestake care of the voungstcr's bike.
tions for storing tovs.
Xo
Caring
when
calls for real ingenuity, especially
matter how crowded or how ample play and storage space may be, careful planning will make it much more
no
1
Children Need Space and Play Materials and
usable,
easier to
keep
in
good
order.
as the children reach
Thev
Some
of the plav materials children
enjov at four and
used at
six,
five years of
seven,
different ways.
The
age will be
and even
eight,
older children
in
want
grown-up life more closelv. The permanent tovs discussed in the chapter Toys and Play Materials, in Volume 13, can still be the backbone of the plav equipment for children in the primarv grades. Volume 8, Creative
out for
new
experi-
more and more interested in developing skills. Thev become increasingly sociable. Thev are keenly observant of what goes on around them, and they play it out with uncanny accuences.
Equipment and Materials
i 1
arc
racy.
to imitate
Play and Hobbies,
also has suggestions
for things children like to
make and
do.
In this volume, the chapters Painting,
Drawing, and Modeling and Creating Through Language and Dramatics discuss materials children will
need
for
mind
that
variety is more important than mere quantity. Some things that provide for the active use of arms, legs, and the
be wanted.
Some
tovs
grownups, and some for constructing, should be included. Some play materials that can be used when a child plays alone, and some that lend themselves to the for imitating the activities of the
plav of three or four youngsters,
make
a
good combination. Xo one child could ever need, or profit bv having, even kind of plav material
the following
suggested in
list.
When vou
and vour children make your
selections,
be sure that the toy fits the will use it. Consider what he
child
who
do and what he is able to do. Then all that he has will be used and
likes to
enjoved.
For the Six- and Seven-Year-Olds
This
and
is
a period
abilities
two-wheeler can replace the earlier triPerhaps it will be one with two auxiliary back wheels for balance ease. A scooter, handcar, or wagon, sturdv enough so that all kinds of things can be hauled in it, has a place. Skates and
seem
when both to
interests
expand bv the dav
stilts
good
are
for
the active
movement
children love. In a snowy climate. sleds are high on the list of desirable equip-
ment.
Any one
of the large-scale
bulldozers,
diggers,
freight cars
is
Gardening
In choosing tovs, keep in
will
A
cvcle.
ditch
these activities.
whole bodv
For Outdoor Play
models of
trucks,
engines,
fire
or
always welcome. sets are suitable
if
there
is
space
for planting.
A swmg,
whether
it
be a rope suing on
strong tree limb, an old
wooden swing on jov.
tire
on
a
a rope, or a
a sturdv frame, gives great
Parallel bars, a trapeze,
and
rings offer
the opportunitv for good exercise. If their height can be adjusted, thev will be used all through later childhood. Jumping ropes will be used hard and long. Hoops, if there is room enough to roll them, are popular, too. A tent is a wonderful place to plav. Balls of
both
A
girls
manv
different sizes are used bv
and bovs.
playhouse can be laid out with fallen
leaves for partitions, stones or blocks of for chairs, acorns for dishes,
and
wood
sticks
for
A
plavhouse big enough to get into is fun, too. If the children build it themselves it is most satisfactory, even if not quite as pleasing to adult eyes. A large packing case often serves as the beginning of a plavhouse project that continues off and on through the years. eating utensils.
Flower dolls of all sorts are fascinating to make, especiallv with hollvhock blossoms. Clover chains and wreaths are fun to braid. If daisies are at hand, thev make lovelv wreaths. So do all kinds of grasses.
With
only a
little
help, a suggestion here,
A
rack on the inside of the closet door keeps books and games within reach
but neatly out of the way.
showing there, children will soon have their eyes wide open to the play possibilities in all sorts of near-at-hand things. These serve one purpose, ready-made toys another. a bit of
For Indoor Play
Making scrapbooks
is
fun. Save magazines
for pictures to cut out.
Dolls, as well as everything that
is
helpful
them and keeping house for in caring them, keep six- and seven-year-old girls who like dolls busy and happy. The small dolls that come in family sets arc useful. for
Paper dolls come into their own during these and the following years. Current fashion books furnish temporary paper dolls in up-to-date styles. Farm buildings or villages, of cardboard or
plvwood, rubber or
plastics,
American Toy Institute
and equipment
for playing store, circus, or train arc
all grist
block collections used in the preschool years have been kept and en-
be added later. Bevond these, the child with an interest in woodworking and tinkering will usually be the best one to decide whether he needs a
larged.
level, a
Hands will be skillful enough to manage hand puppets. The chapter Puppeis and Marionettes, in Volume 8, has good sug-
ferent sizes.
first-
or second-
combine these
toys with
to the mill of the imaginative graders.
They
will
their block play,
bits of different sizes, can
if
Quiet
need now as in the years before. Cardboard boxes of assorted si/cs can be converted into animal cages for a circus parade or zoo, and may be decorated with crayons and paints. The chapter Sewing eor Fun, in Volume 8, has directions for
making
fill
Games
pliers, or
for the Sixes
wrenches of
dif-
and Sevens
Tiddlywinks, jackstraws, dominoes, jackmarbles, and simple matching and card games, such as different forms of Lotto, can be enjoved without too much competi-
gestions.
Stuffed animals
miter box,
stones,
a
when two
or three children play together. kaleidoscope and viewers of one sort or another are always of interest. A printing press and or a toy typewriter will be welcome because of the great interest in words and numbers. For the same reason, spelling and number frames are generally used tion
A
stuffed animals.
Good-sized train sets come into their own. Perhaps the first electric train will come now. Begin with a well-constructed, basic set to he added to as the years go by. Fasten the track to a sheet of plvwood, and you will avoid the irritation of having pieces of track lost or hopelessly bent.
A sturdy work bench and good tools, with lumber and nails of assorted sizes, are desirable. For the would-be carpenter, a coping saw. a crosscut saw, a claw hammer, and a small vise are basic. A plane and a brace, with
with enjoyment. Puzzles with not too many pieces, but more difficult than in previous years, will be put together over and over. It is fun to make puzzles sometimes, with a handy dad taking the lead. The youngsters can hunt out their
Then
all that is needed is some plyand a good jigsaw, operated with wood, a steady hand. These puzzles do not take the
pictures.
112
glue,
Children Need Space and Play Materials more permanent
place of
ones, but thev are
fun to make.
Toys
six-
i 1
and seven-vear-olds will be continued more mature way. When new tovs
in a
for the Eights
and Nines
are purchased during these vears, thev are likelv to be additions to the work-
When
the eight- and nine-year-olds
plav outdoors, thev will use
same equipment used
much
of the
two earlier. Interest in organized and competitive games will have grown stronger. As a result, many things that were of no more than passing interest to a six- or seven-vear-old girl or bov will figure in the plav of the eight- and nine-vear-old. a
year
or
bench, the housekeeping
They mav
dollhouse.
tools,
out train
fill
Baseball and football equipment are almost a necessity for most bovs. A basketball somewhat smaller than regulation size, with a goal post and basket lower than standard height,
popular with some eight-year-olds and even more with nine-year-olds. The side or end of the garage is often a convenient place to attach the iron ring that forms the basket. Grass mav have to be sacrificed in the interests of ball plaving. but plav is more imporis
tant.
A
bicvele
A
picnic kit provides fun on trips to the
and
is
almost a necessity.
outdoor meals in near-by vacant lots or in one's own back vard. Beach balls and inflatable rings and animals can be on the list if the children play park,
for
near small lakes or beaches. Tumbling mats, boxing gloves, and punching bags can be added to the bars and the trapeze the vounger children enjoy. They offer opportunities for letting off steam. Whistles of various kinds are good fun
outdoors
if
thev can be used without disturb-
ing the neighbors.
Equipment for outdoor collecting may open up new interests. Butterfly nets, baskets and the the most of the collecting interest so marked in these vears. Croquet, shuffleboard. hopscotch, rubber or rope quoits, and tzble tennis are of interest for gathering stones, shells, seedpods.
like
to
make
manv
girls
and bovs.
Indoor Playthings
Manv
of the indoor activities of the
sets,
the painting or sewing equipment, or
whatever vour children find most enjoyOften some project or some skill started in school can be carried on at
able.
home. The
simple model sets of trains, boats, and
airplanes help satisfy the desire to
Outdoor Playthings
and the
make and
to do.
Handicraft outfits can include simple weavshellwork.
ing,
leathercraft.
sandpainting.
bcadwork. block printing, and soap caning.
and exploration of possiopens up new enjoyments. Plastics, clav. and sculpturing materials will hold interest for manv, especially if thev have Interests are varied
bilities
had some help
in
using these materials at
school.
Sewing and embroidery
manv
sets
will
please
With
onlv a slight amount of adult help, some of the girls w ill be able to use a hand sewing-machine to make doll of the
girls.
clothes.
Manv
children are readv for a camera now.
and a few can do developing and printing and enlarging of pictures.
Map
puzzles are popular.
Some
give con-
siderable information about the countries in
the puzzle, and
tie in
with social studies in
making map puzzles cut out from magazines, and paste on the maps, the products, the plants and animals, or the flags of various school. Children enjov
themselves.
Thev can
countries. Suggestions for
making puzzles
are
given in Ouiet Games for the Sixes and Sevens, in this chapter. Chemical sets stimulate new interests in some of the nine-vear-olds. Magic-trick outfits will delight some. too. I
he games and hobbies
suggest
more
in
Volume
S will
activities.
the age when board and card games of manv kinds are plaved for hours on end. Games of transportation or artists and authors please those children who are eager for information. Checkers. Chinese checkers, dart
This
is
Childcraft
"4
games, and tenpins arc satisfying to those who can t.ikc mild competition. Anagrams and other word games appeal to boys and girls with a special interest in words.
Toys
The
for
ten-year-olds have
of their bodies of
Ten-Year-Olds
many
and
good control
are skillful in the use
youngsters may be ready to learn how to use it, and other power tools, under supervision. Some girls will be ready to use Mother's sewing-machine, and can learn to use patterns for "real" sewing.
Dramatic and
scientific interests will con-
tinue and will broaden. There will be specialization than in the earlier years.
materials.
different
Specific
hobbies are likely to be evident. Active physical play will be more definitely organized than before, and there will be
team play. the equipment the
greater interest in All
sturdy tools that was started in earlier years can be enlarged. If Dad has a lathe, the
and indoors and
ninc-vcar-olds enjoved for
eight-
who
has a particular interest in electricity,
photography, weaving, or getting out a newspaper can be encouraged with equipment to help him carry out his ideas. Some boys and girls will begin to give serious attention to checkers, chess, or table
tennis.
Games
usually
who
also
Their improved co-ordination, their wider horizons, and their greater information make it possible for them
games they
to use play materials in
new
ways.
The this
like electric football or baseball
welcomed by the ten-year-olds, become better at the board and card
are
out will be interesting to the tcn-vearolds.
more
A child
liked at eight or nine.
Music for Children, in Making Musical InstruVolume 8, suggest ways in which
chapters
volume, and
ments, in music can be part
of children's play life in
the early school years.
Outdoor Equipment In addition to the eight- and olds' toys, kites, either
made from model space
Only
is
kits,
are
inviting.
Open
essential for satisfactory kite flying.
a comparatively
few children can enjoy
this activity.
A
take
up hours
throwing and
of time.
Some
children will be ready for archery and target shooting under supervision.
Sleeping bags, at
first
for use in one's
own
back yard, and later for use on overnight hikes under adult leadership, or for camping, are treasured by children of this age. Skis will lie used enthusiastically by children who live in hilly, snowy country.
Equipment for metal pounding, jewelry making, stonecutting, wood burning, and casting will be welcomed by some boys and girls. Usually these activities will need supervision and some help will be needed. More skill in the handicrafts suggested for eight- and nine\ car-olds will be developed. Some children
who have not been fore will
The
ready for handicrafts be-
show an interest now. workbench and the
collection
of
Play
does not
come
about by chance. It is something that must be definitely planned for. Nor is it to provide a place
and furnish
the materials, though these are necessary and important. In addition, there has to be the adult guidance which offers suggestions here, and lends a hand there. You need to be alert to open up new to help over a hurdle, to
possibilities,
find the result. It
way is
to accomplish the desired
fun, too, to be a part of the
Sometimes vou will offer suggesfrom the side lines. Sometimes vou may be called on to participate actively. On many occasions you will leave the youngsters alone to work things out for themselves, but you will still be interested in what goes on. You will still be fully aware of how important it is that there be a place to play and things with which to play. play.
Indoor Equipment
in Children's
rich, full play life
enough
Lariats, with instructions for twirling, will
Your Part
nine-year-
ready-made or to be
tions
SCHOOL
IN
THE
LIFE
OF THE CHILD
Suzannp
Szlisz
15.
WHAT
16.
WHAT SCHOOL MEANS TO
17.
SCHOOLS INFLUENCE PERSONALITY
18.
THE HANDICAPPED CHILD IN SCHOOL
THE MODERN SCHOOL TRYING TO DO?
IS
THE CHILD
Learning and achieving are the main interests
and the main
tasks of the child in the years
from
School is not the onlv place this learning and achieving go on, even though certain important phases of it are centered there. six to ten.
A
whole being. His abilitv to learn is influenced by his feelings about himself and others, as well as bv his mental abilitv. The teachers, the other children, the program, and the child learns with his
school buildings themselves
velopment
all
influence the de-
of a child's personality.
concerned with all sides of a child's development, and with the development of Schools
all
are
the children in the community.
Some
of these
children will have special abilities, others will have special handicaps with
which
many
to contend.
A
favor-
handicapped child in ways, in addition to teaching subject matter.
able school setting helps the
A. Devaney
WHAT
IS
THE MODERN SCHOOL
TRYING TO DO? WILBUR Author of
A.
YAUCH,
"How Good
Associate
Dean
Northern
Illinois State
Is
importance, the foundation on which all else rests. Teachers believe all parents will accept the following fundamentals
Ed.D.
Your School?"
of Instruction,
Teachers College, DeKalb.
foundation of the school program. Children need the abilitv to get along with others, and also a knowledge of
as the
things and people.
Development
of the
spark of creativencss, the abilitv to solve
school has two big The provide children with
It
jobs. It
must
a chance to develop to the best of their ability. must see that children have a set of
daily problems,
every child.
must be carried out in the social, spiritual, and moral setting which the home and community
Ability to Get
provide.
trial
skills.
Both
responsibilities
and phvsical and emo-
well-being are also essential for
tional
Along with Others
Wliatever one does, one must establish relationships with people. Indusstudies
show
clearly that
most frequent causes The Whole Child Learns
The modern elementarv more
a job
school todav
than ever in teaching the "fundamentals." As the modern teacher understands it, the believes
stronglv
term fundamental means
basic, first in ii'
is
others.
reach
one
of the
for dismissal
from
lack of abilitv to get along with
The
abilitv to
work
in a
group, to
agreements with others, to co-
common
good, and to respect other people's opinions will determine in no small degree one's success. operate for the
n8
ClIILDCRAFT speak and write effec-
has the right to a good physical and
and clearly, with due regard to grammar, spelling, punctuation, and dic-
emotional start in life. It is truly fundamental to all other achievements. A child learns with his whole being. Without physical and emotional health, he is
The
ability to
tively
tion, contributes to ability to get
along
with people.
far less able to learn to read, to write, to
Knowledge
The sum edge
essential.
is
we must
select
For elementary-school
knowledge
be about the current world in which he lives. The more historical aspects can that
essential
come
do arithmetic.
knowl-
modern educator thinks
the
children,
spell, or to
total of present-day
so staggering that
is
what
Things and People
of
should
in later schooling.
Have Schools Taken Over Home's Tasks?
Some
people ask why school should be expected to teach children to get along with others, or to solve problems.
Why
should schools be concerned with mental health? "Are parents turning over all their responsibilities to the school?" these people ask.
The
Ability to Solve Daily Problems
The
best
we can hope
to
uncertainty of today's world
do
in the
is
to pro-
voung people with an ability to meet problems. Under almost any imagivide
nable conditions, our children will need a courageous,
Thev
will
problem-solving attitude.
need to be able
to use their
information resourcefully in getting
fur-
ther information, in countless situations.
Development
of the
Spark
of
Creativeness
Everyone has the capacity, in some degree, to do something to lift himself from mediocrity. In some, it may be a creative flair in art forms. For others, the ability to create
For
still
others,
ing friends.
new ideas is a real gift. it mav be a skill in mak-
One of the fundamental human beings is pride in
needs of all some achievement.
responsibility of teaching these
fundamentals is so great in our complicated world that neither school nor home can bear it alone. Children are not made up of "watertight compartments." They do not learn friendliness with one part of their being, and spelling with another. It would be utterly ridiculous to say, "Let the school teach the skills, and let the home do this or that." Each supplements what the other does, for each is, necessarily, concerned with the whole child. Make no mistake, just because schools are concerned with making children friendly, or with developing problemsolving attitudes, does not mean that parents are being supplanted. The better five
argument about whose job
Physical and Emotional Weil-Being
can hope to do our best only
does, the better the
job the school will be able to do. this or that
We
home
the job the
The
is
it is
The
to teach
futile.
best efforts of us
all
are
needed
well-being.
develop a child's personality fully and wholesomely. Each institution concerned with a child can support and en-
tional
rich
we
if
and mental Lack of physical or emohealth can have profound effect
arc in a state of physical
on our success in life. In this dav of advanced knowledge of health, even' child
to
what the other
question
of
is
doing. There
duplication,
and
is
no
there
should be no question of competition.
What
Is
the Modern School Trying to Do?
Good Teachers and Equipment The most important factors in a good school are good teachers and good teaching.
The
teacher must be well educated
rooms
is
flexible.
119
Bv moving
the furni-
ture around, different spaces for different kinds of activities can be provided. Classes can be divided into small work-
and informed about the world. She needs to be endowed with deep respect for and understanding of children. She
ing
also needs teaching ability to inspire the
children opportunity to develop strength
children to their best learning.
and co-ordination. Assembly rooms
Good
teachers cannot
work well with-
out good equipment. There are hundreds of teachers who are doing a remarkable job against great odds in overcrowded, inadequate school buildings. With the right equipment they could probablv do many, many times better. Carpenters are not expected to build houses with only a hammer and saw, nor are surgeons asked to operate with a penknife.
The
school plant contributes to
child's learning.
A
a
cheerful, well-lighted,
comfortable place to work increases a child's ability to learn. In a building with equipment the right size for them, children feel at
home and
relaxed.
A
good modern school provides room enough for children to move about freely.
The arrangement
of
most
of
the
groups as
the
occasion
requires.
Gymnasiums and playgrounds provide outlets for bubbling energy,
and
give the
fur-
nish opportunities for larger groups to get together
and exchange experiences.
Well-stocked
help children learn and also widen their horizons and enrich their lives.
Equipment
libraries
for the study of science,
of the right size for small children, available. art.
There
is
room
Woodworking shops
for
music and
also give the
children the chance to be creative. Chil-
dren who are expressing themselves through the arts are likely to be less tense and are often more able to devote their energies to learning the traditional school subjects. Cheerful lunchrooms where relaxation is encouraged make
good digestion and friendliness. A good school building takes account
for
of the teacher's needs, too. Office space
and teachers' rooms make the teacher a more friendly, relaxed, and effective perF. P.
First-graders are inter-
ested in the here and now, so schools start things familiar with that
a
have meaning
six-
for
or seven-year-old.
is
G.
F. P. G.
Science experiments in the early grades may mean observing fish in the tank, connecting batteries, using a magnet, or just making levers with wooden blocks.
son for your child to live with every day. Main- school buildings will fall short in
one or another of these
facilities,
but
the children develop values and
atti-
tudes needed for a democratic societv.
Teachers need to studv
in detail the
Thev must in all way around." Thev
more of these desirable arrangements a school has, the better will be the chances of children getting a good
local
education.
and the composition of the population. Thev must particularlv understand what the people are thinking, and what their
the
The School Program In return for supplying the school with good teachers and a good building and equipment, you have the right to expect an educational program which sults in
vour child's
maximum
re-
develop-
ment.
communitv.
"know their must know the activities senses
:
of the people
expectations of the school are.
What Does a
Child Learn?
With knowledge
of children, of the
fundamentals of good citizenship, and of the local
community
as building blocks,
the teachers, under the skillful leader-
What Understandings Do Teachers Need? If the teachers are to build a program specifically designed to meet the needs of your community, thev must understand how children develop, and must
whom thev are teaching. Teachers need to understand their
study children
ship of the principal, proceed to construct a curriculum for the entire school.
This curriculum is a carefullv organized scries of planned activities. It begins with the kindergarten or first grade and continues to the last grade in the ele-
mentary school. These activities are centered around the five fundamentals rewith that understanding can thev help ferred to earlier. Each step of the series 120 country's past as well as
its
present.
Onlv
What is
by
identified
the Modern School Trying to Do?
Is
a descriptive
center of interest.
Of
theme, or
course, the details
community
of the curriculum vary from
community, and from school
to
to
school.
market to examine the variety of foods on the shelves. The children then investigate where the goods come from, and who was responsible for their being there.
The Nation Starting with the Familiar
Home the
first
children
and Family Living is usually theme. At the earliest stage of
the child's development, he is naturally concerned with experiences near home. These need to be enlarged and made more understandable to him. He studies his own home, the work of Father and Mother, the different kinds of homes in the community, and the activities that
go on
home. Neighborhood
in a
The
is
second
the
theme. Homes are enriched by many goods and services coming from the outside, such as milk, groceries, and mail. These are studied in order to gain an understanding of the interdependent nature of
modern
The home
living.
is still
the center of interest, but attention is shifted to the surrounding activities
which enrich
the
different groups live together.
community
is
studied as a whole. nities
small enough, large,
If
within the city are
first
it is
commu-
studied as
examples of the whole. The Scope Widens
Then comes the study tended Community. The
of
the Ex-
local
com-
munity depends upon outside sources of supply for
and
its
very existence.
which flow
The goods
from outside are studied next. The teacher might start by taking the children to the local superservices
ties,
ties
the
is
become
fifth
theme the
familiar with.
Our
na-
composite of many communitied together bv additional activia
is
and
services, at this stage, then, the
focus shifts to the nation as a whole. Horizons Expand with Understanding
The Nation and the World is the sixth theme. Even nation depends upon its neighbors for many of its products, 7
some
and
for
The
contributions of other countries to
of
its
cherished customs.
our greatness are examined at this point. The Community of Nations is the final theme. Older children are encouraged to understand the essential relationships among nations, with their diverse customs, and their difficulties in learning to get along together. Learning Through Living
together in groups beyond the family,
and how
tion
it.
The Community as a unit is next studied. The purpose of studying this topic is to understand how people live
If
121
in
Throughout each central concern
is
of these themes, the
that the children un-
derstand the interdependence of man, and the means of achieving harmony
and co-operation. In order to assure understanding, and to learn practically how this may be won, the individual classrooms must be laboratories exemplifying what is being taught. Instead of merely handing out assignments, and hearing lessons learned, the teacher tries to involve the children in planning and
earning out the program.
The amount
of participation
rect proportion to the maturity ities
of the children.
Young
is
in di-
and
abil-
children
have considerably less voice in determining the program than will older
will
about
Learning countries
ple live there
a
other
and how peois
part of
social-studies
gram
pro-
in schools today.
Luoma,
children.
There
i>
no thought of "turn-
ing the program over to the children" until thev have
demonstrated their
abil-
accept the responsibility for cer-
ity to
tain phases of
Fhis plan grades.
The
it.
not an assignment bv fourth theme, for instance, is
for their
background and customs. Chil-
dren's interests are respected to the ex-
tent
that
the
teacher
recognizes
his
responsibilitv for developing within chil-
dren a keen desire to learn what the facultv has planned for them. In working out the details in the class-
be many opportunities
does not necessarily correspond to the fourth grade. The children begin the sequence in the kindergarten or first
room, there
grade,
and work at their own rate of speed, moving ahead from one theme to another as rapidly as their ability and
community,
understanding will allow them. Since all teachers have co-operated on planning the total program, each teacher will understand that he must start where the
children on the basis of "Dear children.
children are and lead them on to the next steps in their learning.
What
Part
Do Children Have
This program built into
also
has
in
Planning?
consciouslv
it the intention of creating in children an understanding and respect
will
for children to select
work
of special in-
When they study the example, one child, or group of children, might choose to studv its government, and report to the class. Another might choose its transportation. But it should be noted that the program of the school is not built bv terest to
them.
for
what do you want to studv
this vear?''
How Do Parents Co-operate? The good school recognizes
that this
program, or any one built bv teachers. will succeed onlv to the extent that the parents understand and approve it. Tims,
122
What many and
the Modern School Trying to Do?
Is
meetings with the
numbers
i-3
of the parents in order to explain, dis-
connection with all phases of the program. The chapter The World of Knowledge, in this volume, has more to say about how various skills arc developed.
and report on the program as it develops. Since more of the child's time
Is
spent outside the school than in it. the program can succeed onlv if the school's
Good discipline is the product of interest. The interested child is rarely a
program
disciplinarv
regular
parents are required. ers as a
The
staff of teach-
whole, and individual teachers
separatelv. will frequentlv call meetings
in
cuss,
is
ties of
carried into the other activi-
is
the child.
The
parent
is
the most
important agent in seeing that this is done. Home and School Are a Team.
Volume
in
15.
discusses
how
parents
Discipline Maintained?
problem.
When
children
plan an activitv together, thev are interested. If a plan
good discipline plan.
If
is
makes sense
to
them,
merelv sticking to the
the tasks of the schools are
re-
and teachers can work together.
lated to a child's abilities, he can gain
How About
achieves.
some It is
the Skills?
easy to see where knowledge of
satisfaction
The good
teacher helps children
the physical and social world, one of the
intelligent
fundamentals, is accounted for. Reading, writing, and arithmetic are being provided for, too, in this program. Talking and writing are learned as the
their abilities,
five
children plan, discuss, and write reports.
The skills come from
of
written
communication
using opportunities to communicate with others in writing. Thev
not be writing themes on "\\ Tiat a pansv thinks of spring." will
Children do not read material for drill. Their reading will be directlv connected with their social studies, literature, and science programs almost as soon as they can recognize words. Im-
provement
in skill will
come
as thev are
eager to learn and deliberatelv search in
books for answers to important questions.
Children
learn
arithmetic
actually counting, measuring,
through
and using
Marks on a report card tell little, but informal conferences add to teachers' as well as parents' understanding.
from the success he
make
within the limits of and then acts as guide
plans
and supervisor in working them out. In good schools the children do not fear the teacher, or respond to her com-
mands merelv because she gives the order. Thev recognize that she is helping them to do better what thev have planned themselves. Through this process
thev learn self-discipline.
Childcraft
124
How
The
Progress Measured?
Is
a matter of finding out
teacher needs to be on the watch
if
for signs of creative ability so that she
the objectives of the school are being reached. These goals are a consistently
can turn it to good account. Each child grows in self-confidence as he feels that
Testing
is
more mature kind
measure changes
should
how
and not facts.
The
of behavior.
Schools today test
how
end
the
of
a
Perhaps you have wondered why hobbv shows, pet shows, discussions of week-
how
well chil-
well he can use
term.
Measuring
Achievement and Ability, in ume, will tell vou more about all
end excursions, or similar projects are allowed to take up school time. These are the kind of activities that give chil-
dren a sense of being worth-while persons. Such activities are a spur to individual creative efforts
and
are a good,
although indirect, stimulus to learning.
this vol-
Teachers Keep on Learning
tests of
The modern
kinds.
Good
his contribution are valued.
remembers
them. The modern test is one of performance, and is made daily, not merely at
work and
Self-confidence promotes mental health.
dren can put facts to work in the solution of a problem. It is important to find out how many facts a child knows only in order to discover
his
behavior,
in
well a child
test
teachers
"ABCDE"
realize
that
the
er
elementary-school teachprimarilv concerned with improv-
is
tvpe of reporting to parents
ing his work. In order to progress, he
parent what he has a right to know, nor gives the teacher
must constantlv studv the advancing science of teaching. He must be aware
much
opportunitv to report intelligently on what the child is learning. Modern
of the progress
teachers are increasingly substituting a
in controlled experiments,
neither
tells
a
face-to-face conference for a formal re-
port card. Both parent and teacher talk
about the work of the child. It takes more time, but the product is worth the effort. The chapter Reports and Promotions, in this volume, disin detail
cusses this question in detail.
From
the
May
Be Indirect
way the children organize
from the give and take in the group, comes ever-increasing ability to get along with others. The good their work,
teacher sees to
it
that each child has a
chance to be the "reporter," or the "chairman," when a small group reports to the class. She creates opportunities for the shy child to undertake responsiwithin Ins
abilities, thus increasing his confidence in himself.
bilities
in teaching
meth-
and proved useful he puts them to use in his classroom. This means that teaching methods are constantlv being ods.
As they
are tried
changed, with the expectation that each
change
will bring
improvement
in learn-
ing.
Parents have a right to know and understand what the modern elementary school
Valuable Learnings
made
is
trying to do.
plained to them,
it
As
it is
must make sense
exin
terms of improved education for their
Not all change is necessarilv Whether the particular change
children.
good.
being contemplated in vour school is good or not remains to be proved. You can find out only by visiting vour school and expecting reasonable answers to your questions. The good school wel-
comes
and participation. Perhaps this is the best way for you to discover how good your school is parents'
interest
Madison Public Schools
WHAT SCHOOL MEANS TO THE CHILD ALICE
V.
KELIHER, New
Professor of Education,
New
Ph.D. York Universib,
York, N. Y.
Every
child, as
he leaves
home
in the
morning, has the right to be glad that he is going to school. When he leaves school in the afternoon, he has the same right to be glad that he is going home. The ways of guaranteeing children happv davs are not simple, and parents and teachers do well to ask themselves,
"What makes
to go to school or to If
home means
come home?"
familiar things,
neighbors, the chance to
growing
a child glad
know and
is
likely
Most
of
all, if
who
new people, new things and new problems to solve are
places,
good love
and plants, then to be a welcoming place. home means affectionate
School
Means "Being Grown Up"
Going to school will have different meanings for different children. It will have different meanings for anv given through the earlv grades. School probably even has several different meanings at the same moment for any child. WTiat school means depends on the past
experience,
the
present
well-being, and, of course,
homecoming
room and on the
Home
listen
is
likely to
at its best
is
not, as a
rule, frightening.
with svmpathetic interest to what one has to tell, then
parents
to learn,
child at various stages in his progress
creatures
home
bov or girl can feel important, loved, and worth while, even when things go wrong elsewhere. Youngsters who have spent most of their lives in such surroundings have the right start toward enjoving their school experiences and getting all possible benefits from them. To bovs and girls from such homes, new
be good. a place where a
state
on the
of
situa-
tion that confronts a child in the class-
Entering ^5
first
pla\ ground.
grade
is
an important
— .
milestone on the long road to "growing up." In grade school, for the first time, a small person stands on. her
(
or his)
own
and becomes "'Jane Brown." rather than "the Browns' little girl." The boy or girl who has been at school all dav has news to report at the family dinner table, just as Father. Mother, or his older brothers and sisters have. He is a feet
man
of his world!
Whether he
goes on
foot
or
school bus, the grade-school child
on
ally largely
his
own
in is
a
usu-
he goes back
as
and forth to and from school. Necessarily, he makes more decisions for himself, and has greater freedom of action, than when he was completely a homebody. These are among the new situations that make a first-grader feel he has topped a summit on the road to being "like the grownups."
When is
she boards the school bus, she on her own and she's proud of it!
ening, less forbidding, less conducive to
imaginary stomach-aches. It is a day of launching into new endeavors.
tears or
The Well-Prepared Go Gladly
Whether
or not a child
to school depends on
mors, and often rolls.
up
tall tales,
first
their
in
the
before he en-
and
sisters,
neighborhood,
relive
school days, the child picks attitudes,
devours the facts
thev reveal. Parents have talked about the first days at school. They have talked accurately
or
inaccurately,
reassuringly
or
about what to expect. Good parents have tried to build the feeling of school as a second home, and threateningly,
of the teacher as part of the adult family
team.
Main schools have introduction days when preschool children come with their
mothers and sec
Teachers
to
Of
has heard ru-
As older brothers and
children their
what he expects
The beginner
find there.
glad to go
is
themselves
for
what this new experience Then the first day of school
will is
be
like.
less f rightis
Make
the School
greatest importance for the
voung
an adult who cares the teacher. She is to be a second mother, not to two or three children, but to a larger group. What school will mean to a child in any grade depends largely on his relationship to his teacher. The teacher mav be voung or old. pretty or plain, but she cares deeply about each child as a person. She has to school beginner
divide
this
children
Her
I
is
caring
among
and sometimes,
quality as a
twentv-five
sadlv,
more!
)
person, her love of
people and of small persons particularly, her ability to transmit such parts of the world's knowledge as befits the age and readiness of the children, all make her
worthy of the
title
willing to clean
"teacher."
up messes,
she
is
to give reas-
surance, to smile, to understand
26
If
and
for-
What
School Means to the Child
127
be firm when necessary, the children under her care arc almost sure
down
to enjoy learning.
O.K., but sometimes you
give,
and
to
Even then, you can take
teachers as a group. "Teachers are
one who Give the Teacher
Not
all
Your Backing
with,"
teachers have the qualities
named. Some develop such with experience.
It is
home,
happv
in his
a semester or
if
once in
relationships at
two
in the class of a
whom
he does not particularly like will not be damaging. Experiences with teachers tend to avteacher
erage out,
and
a youngster gets to
a varietv of personalities
and
across
more helpful stand than like that."
attributes
not fatal
vour child has a teacher who is not as good as you might wish. Perhaps that teacher is having a bad year. If your is
a
is
come
a little harder to get along
is
"Teachers always are If
a while
child
care not to run
know
abilities in
Almost e\erv boy or girl has the good fortune to have one or two teachers under whose guidance he blossoms out with unsuspected abilities. Whatever the abilitv of the teacher of the moment, you can give vour support and help vour child get the most his teachers.
out of the vear's experience.
At some time you may be convinced that vour child's teacher is being more strict or more arbitrary than necessary. F. P. G.
Your Child Resents a Teacher If
is
you sincerclv believe that
being
a teacher
unfair
consistently
to
vour
vour worries directlv to her rather than discussing them around the neighborhood. Give her a chance to present her side of the case. There may well be two sides to the child, take
for
storv,
school
in
children quite
the
often
behave
opposite
at
fashion
from the way thev behave at home. The docile girl or bov mav become a showoff in
the classroom, for a varietv of rea-
The harum-scarum, boisterous one may have let off enough steam at home to be the model citizen at school. You can approach the teacher in the sons.
"Tommv
seems to be getting into difficulties because he talks too much (or never speaks up, or whatever mav be the case). I wonder whether we can do something at home to help?" You mav be surprised to find how far you will get in ironing out difficulties between Tommv and his teacher. spirit of
not necessary to insist to a child that teachers are always in the right, just because they are grownups. You can lisIt is
ten to vour Youngster's talcs of woe, and
accept the fact that he
having hard sledding, without giving him the impression you believe he is being seriously is
To the shy child, school may look like a strange new world. Since to school he must go, let him have all the reassurance parents and teachers can give.
Childcraft
28 mistreated.
It
docs no harm for
a child
to discover that
people have had such
before
have them looking for a compro-
troubles
and
will
one is mise, rather than wasting energy in useless indignation, matters can generally be worked out. again.
If
Take Complaints with a Grain Parents
who
of Salt
take a cheerful, construc-
toward misunderstandings help their children get the good mean-
You
ings out of their school experiences.
frequently youngsters mis-
interpret directions or insist ter rather
than the
on the
spirit of
let-
what has
been said. This happened to Janet Gray when her second grade was learning about Eat." In order to make the "Foods idea of variety in food more vivid. Miss Hammond, the teacher, had written on the blackboard, with help from the class, lists of food a family might eat each dav in the week. "Miss Hammond says we have to eat beets on Sundav. and I don't like beets especially on Sunday," Janet insisted indignantly to her mother. Mrs. Gray was not the kind of parent to get excited over every confused notion her children brought home from school. She realized that Janet was probablv misinterpreting Miss Hammond's words. She patiently explained to her daughter that the teacher had not
We
—
meant
eat the same thing on the same dav of the week. Mrs. Gray also suggested that Janet should
listen
that everyone
carefully
must
next
time
talked about food, so that she
the
class
would be
sure what her teacher really said. Because she neither fed the flames of Janet's anger nor laughed at her for being foolish, the incident
You Question Methods
blew over quickly.
may
an honest doubt of a teacher's methods. Many parents and grandparents worn' because today's methods, particularly in the field of reading, arc not like those of times you
\t
feel
own daw Naturally, methods in teaching change, and should change, their
change their procedures
just as doctors
tive attitude
know how
If
in treating illnesses.
Most
have studied
of today's teachers
their art for at least four vears.
They
are
learning newer and better ways. Just as the modern physician knows when to give
drugs
knows whether
sounding out words
dence
girl.
well-
or not
will lead to
reading for a certain bov or
would do
the
inoculations,
or
trained teacher
good
Parents
well to consider the confi-
thev
place
the
in
phvsician's
compared with the confidence thev show in the well-trained
prescription as teacher. It
is
best to talk over doubts
with the teacher, and perhaps the principal, too.
Above
all,
do not
criticize be-
hind the teacher's back. This hurts vour child, for he wants the important adults in his life to like and trust each other. Schools
Can
Traditionally,
place
Xext
for
Spell "Friends"
school
making
has been
lasting
the
friendships.
to feeling secure with adults, noth-
more important than the give-and-take between boys and girls of ing could be
varying backgrounds, differing interests,
and assorted ages. It is a great dav when Johnny discovers that other six-vear-olds consider his loose tooth a matter of importance!
Happy
who
can talk of firm friendships that began in the first, third, or perhaps fifth grade in school! One wonderful thing about modern schools
is
is
the adult
their realization of
how
im-
along with other boys as necessary as learning to read. School makes a good setting for friendships that will endure. Learning
and
to get
girls is
portant
human
relationships are.
Once
was punished for whispering to neighbor. Now he is encouraged to
a child
his
take part in conversations that further
school work. Joining his fellows in
dis-
cussions of current happenings, helping
plan student government, and mulling over decisions are all in the dav's work.
Planning and enjovmg recreational acearning on projects in tivities and groups where responsibilities are shared give evervonc an opportunitv to know other bovs and girls. Committee work, participating in plays, musical experiences, or assisting a pal in making an airplane will further friendships in school.
Two
children
take relationship with his fellows has
preparation for
A
bov or
School
mav
who
vounger children or explain some special skill to another who needs it.
city
to
Todav's school puts a premium on friendship. Building the capacitv for friendship has a practical as well as a soul-satisfying value. Getting along with people is one of the vital needs of todren.
The
Thev
of
it
best as chil-
disturbing divorce rate in the
United States ity
learn
is
one index of the
inabil-
Studies of failures in business and inskill or
compe-
not nearly as important as personality weaknesses. Among the most important personal qualities is an tence in jobs
child
who
is
along with people. The has grown up in a give-and-
ability to get
pend on him. In almost all ways he is dependent on adults who seem powerful, who are usuallv right about most things, and who are certainly much big-
With
ger.
chickens, polliwogs. or rab-
he has the chance to be bigger, to have some power, and to use it responsiblv. So his school gives him experi-
bits,
ences with
fish,
birds,
and four-legged
creatures.
The
persons to get along together.
dustry reveal that lack of
plants, frequently
child needs to feel that helpless lives de-
Schools Stress Friendships
dav's adults.
Means New Experiences
on a more extenscale than would be possible in a apartment or a crowded house. A
and sive
Why
a pre-
School means to a child a place where he can know and love growing creatures
read stories
girl
is
cious asset.
help each other with spelling will be partners.
ahead that
life
them grow, and harvests his crop. He knows his importance because he sees what child plants seeds, watches
he fails in his responsibilitv. learns from this something about be-
happens
He
if
ing dependable.
He
gives love. too. to
the tender, dependent plant or creature.
Giving love
129
is
something he
learns.
He
Cmi
no S
lmc from
parents,
his
neighbor^. lie learns to give onl\
to
Many
a
i
teachers,
treasures have
back not
value, they
also to these other
them but
living things.
it
ix:r\i
grownup has been
no
practical or creative
may mean some kind
happy experience that is good to remember. Gone from most modern schools is
to security, to a past
saved from the ravages of grief and despair by a deep and abiding love of some-
the teacher
thing in nature, gained in ehildhood.
sions for the day
them kept School Respects Children's Treasures
which mean so much to the half-finished
"bridge
block
across
child.
river"
card pictures
Dad
ness trip, lengths
sent of
on
hands and
un-
ing.
wire and string.
These are often the stuff of invention and creation. Wise adults respect the child's right to things. Even when these
makes
good
use
of
I
[ere
is
a
the child's world of learn-
stavs
his last busi-
thereafter. Todav's
in their pockets.
vital part of
drawings, bits of interesting stones, post-
and grimlv ordered
things children bring to school in their
the
touched oxer the week end. so that eager builders may continue their work on it Monday morning. Children need the chance to have a continuing project, but it is hard to give it to them in an apartment, or even in a small house! Desks or lockers pile up with precious
collected prized posses-
home
at
of
building
the
The
who
teacher
trained
School provides those familiar things
of tic
Walt Whitman
said
it
so well in
Leaves of Grass: There was a child went forth evervdav:
And
the
first
object he looked upon, that object
he became;
And
became
that object
part of
him
or a certain part of the day, or for
for the day,
manv
vears.
or stretching cycles of years.
The
early lilacs
And
grass,
white
phoebe
And
became
part of this child.
and white and red morning-glories, and and red clover, and the song of the bird.
the third-month lambs, and the sow's pinkand the mare's foal, and the cow's
faint litter, calf,
Oklahoma A and
M
Friendships ripen and co-operation is practiced when children carry out enterprises they have helped to plan.
What And
School Means to the Child
the noisy brood of the barnyard, or bv the
mire of the pond
And
the
—
—and
the beautiful curious liquid.
the water plants with their graceful flatheads all became part of him.
Today
teachers, as well as poets, real-
that children
ize
grow and learn and
take joy in living as thev find their place in
the purpose and the order of the
world around them, and as they acquire
some
in that world.
School
Means
in
is
making
He
a child feel
is
finding his
way
about in the complex world of ideas and actions. His teacher is studying him. getting to to
know him
meet
in others. In addition to
we can
the indirect steps
take to rein-
force this confidence, there are often
some
The
direct, specific things
we can
do.
indirect steps are discussed in this
volume in the section Goes on Developing.
To
a first-grader, school
Personality
means
ing their mothers, of having
important, respected, listened to. What a child does and says in today's school has great meaning, both for him and for his teacher.
and
separa-
from home. Six- and seven-yearolds still worry about the danger of los-
Probably the school's most important
how
in himself
tion
Self-Expression
contribution
am
-
intense only as a child gains confidence
of the skills necessary to feel at
home
overcome bv doparticular thing. Fears grow less
of other kinds, are not
ing
suspending themselves so euriouslv
fish
below there
And
side.
131
better,
his needs.
learning
She gives him
Mother
dis-
appear, or of not being able to find her.
When
he leaves home, a youngster may be uneasv lest Mother not be there when he returns. Perhaps his worries center around the danger of her failing to call for him, if that is her usual practice. He mav imagine all kinds of things that could happen to prevent her from coming. Leaving younger brothers or sisters, or
new
the chance to express ideas, to carry out
a
projects, to think out loud about his problems, and to raise his questions, whatever thev are. without fear of pun-
er's
babv. at
attention
home to enjov all Mothmav be hard for a child.
meanings. But occasionally, school may have some less pleasant, or even threat-
School mav even look like a device for pushing him out of the way. Groundless as such fears appear to us, thev mav influence the feelings a youngster has about school. Going to school means leaving the familiar world of home, where one knows fairly well what one will be expected to do. There, one is even reason-
ening, meanings to a child.
ably sure of
ishment or
ridicule.
School
Means Leaving Home
For most children,
at least part of the
time, school has several of these good
what
happen
Only as parents and teachers understand some of
failures.
the reasons for a child's dislike or fear of
child's logic
going to school can thev help him overcome these unfortunate feelings. Only
demands will not be made in this strange new place, the classroom? The
way
he get the
out of his school days, for an uneasy, unhappy child is absorbed in his own probin this
will
real values
lems.
Usually, fears about school, like fears
How
will
can one
—that
tell
—
difficult,
in case of
so runs a
impossible
fear of falling short, of being unable to
perform satisfactorily, may in some measure color the feelings a bov or girl has about school, even bevond the early grades.
Childcraft
132 If
To some children in
children, perhaps to
most
some
time,
some degree
at
the very privileges, opportunities, and responsibilities that usually make school
and pleasant take on an
interesting
alarming aspect. Children may go through a few bad weeks or months when they do not get along well with other boys and girls, run afoul of the school regulations, or clash with their
more
distressing
if
a child re-
fuses to go to school altogether.
the reasons
away from
why
Some
of
a child continually runs
and some ways of
school,
dealing with this difficulty, are discussed in the chapter Children in Trouble, in this
the
solution.
even cight-ycar-olds may respond to a plan that has proved effective with younger children having Mother accompany the child to school for a few days, or even longer. How this plan has been worked out in some places is discussed in the chapter What Leaving Home Means to a Small Child, in
—
Volume If
a
13.
child continues to be panicky
who
has had special training in helping children with such difficulties may be able to untan-
gle the situation.
who
The
Guidance Services,
in
chapter
Family
Volume
1 5, tells
where such help can be found. Pointing
yolume.
Six-,
seven-, or
about school, someone
teachers. It is far
may be
"must"
School Becomes Frightening
Up
the
Good Meanings
repeatedly runs
Parents and teachers are emphasizing
bv actually
the constructive meanings and reducing
taking to his heels or by refusing to go
the threatening meanings of school for
to school in the
clearly
many
from
mind
The boy
or girl
awayJ from school,
troubled. This
is
either
*
*
first
place,
is
a different matter
the mild protests almost every child makes from time to time. Parents and
work together to get at and remedy the cause. That cause maybe something that is happening in the classroom, on the playground, or at home. The cause may not be a particular event, but the way a youngster feels about himself and the people around teachers need to
him.
We
can be sure of one thing
—when
school becomes so frightening that a child cannot face
it,
no good. Allowing
punishment
a child to stay
not the answer cither.
Once
do away is will
a healthy
boy or girl is of first-grade age, to school he (or she) must go. Yet forcing a
him make
children
today.
They keep
that because each child
person, unlike any other
is
a
in
unique
human
being,
he needs to be treated as an individual. Teacher and parent sit down together to talk about the child as a person. They strive to do their jobs better, both at home and at school, by pooling their knowledge and understanding of the child. They know that the child and the adult
—
—
is
bound
to
make
mistakes.
There is no unfailing way to meet the myriad life experiences that fill each day. But mistakes can be material to grow on, and to learn from, if, when vou are small, the people around vou have confidence in you and in the bounty of life. At home and at school, a child needs people
who
believe in him.
Thus
school bearable and at the same time
he learns to believe in himself, and in others. This is what school can mean to the child, when parents and teachers
demonstrate that going to school
realize its far-reaching influence.
frightened child to go will not help
much.
A
compromise that
will
is
a
SCHOOLS INFLUENCE PERSONALITY ESTHER
E.
PREVEY,
Ph.D.
Director, Family Life Education, Kansas City Public Schools, Kansas City,
School
Mo.
takes a fair portion of chil-
dren's waking hours. tivities,
routines,
and
The
daily ac-
relationships
can help boys and girls to live happy, useful lives or hinder their development. School is one of the strong influences that shape our children's growth. in school
—
Fostering Emotional Values
Healthy personalities are apt to
flour-
school activities help children to have assurance and the feeling of being important to the group. The school proish
if
Ellis O.
gram can help boys and girls gain independence and self-reliance, and assume responsibility.
grow
in
Then
thev will see the higher purpose in
thev are likelv to
ing. All
depth and variety of feeling and
girls
Hinsey
liv-
these attitudes help boys and
become
stable individuals
who
can
along with others. Teachers can give children courage to face life as it is and to enjoy it to the utmost. With such a foundation children
bring satisfaction to themselves and to
be better able to meet disappointments, crises, and grief. Children can be given the understanding that the universe is built on law and order so that
world.
in abilitv to get
will
others.
Constructive
experiences
also
can aid them to relax and avoid needless worry and fear in a confused and tense
Everyone Needs
133
How
to
Be Important
do teachers accomplish these
ClIILDCRM
134 larger
aims through the day-to-day pro-
I
really likes people,
and
especially chil-
gram!'
dren, and
Johrmic specialized in trouble. His teacher. Miss Brent, finally thought up the Pic turc-of-thc- Week
worth of each youngster, she
Ten-year-old
project.
Each week
a child's painting, se-
hung in Monday,
lected by Miss Brent, was to be a
On
special place.
Johnnie's picture
honor. For the
the
hung
first
first
in the place of
time. Johnnie was
if
she truly believes in the
a contribution to
make
will
growth.
Miss Lewis is such a teacher. The children know by the way she listens to them, by the pat on the back, by the way she talks to and smiles at them, that they arc important to her. Boys and girls usually do well in her room because they
being recognized! All week he was easier
are living
to live with.
such experience will not permanently change Johnnie, but many such will tend to build his self-respect. John-
mosphere. They are accepted. They do their best because she expects it and knows what each is capable of doing. She radiates confidence. She has a sense
nie specially needed this recognition, for
of
One
his only
was
chance for warmth and support
in school.
In another class, a fifth-grader
wanted
lunchroom. The principal had some doubts about this youngster's readiness for such a job, for he had not been one who accepted assigned responto help in the
The
and learning
humor and
likes a
in a relaxed at-
good time. Thcv
laugh together and enjoy every little occasion. But her seriousness about work helps her pupils to buckle down to a task and carry it through. Mental Alertness
The
Is
Contagious
teacher's attitude toward differ-
principal felt that the
ences of opinion and the variety of ideas
was not something to be squelched, so she planned some duties that would not tax the ten-year-old. When she tried him out. his dependa-
suggested will greatly influence what is learned. The choice of actiyities has an
sibility well.
desire to help
bility surprised
everyone.
influence, too. If the teacher values each
suggestion, youngsters will do likewise. If
Perhaps the difference in his performance was due to the fact that his was a chosen, rather than an assigned, task. But the principal's careful planning probably played a part in the successful outcome, too.
she derides ideas or
is
sarcastic,
children will not be understanding to-
ward each other.
The
teacher's spirit of inquiry
paramount importance. bling "loyes
oyer" with to
learn,"
she
If
The
Teachers
personality
teacher's
force for healthy
of
her
deyclopment
spirit.
in school.
No
a
The
degree of her maturity, her friendliness, her zest for living, and her
breadth of interest will be reflected in those with whom she lives during the school day. If
the teacher
is
a sociable
is
of
"bubif
interests girls in
she are
her
classroom are apt to reflect the same vital
is
is
information, if
broad and varied, boys and
The Influence
the
person
who
can help liking some youngsters more than others. But eyerv teacher, if she is not to harm her pupils, should avoid having outright fayorites or showing her dislikes. Favoritism is no kindness. The favored one may gain an exaggerated \ icw of his value and may teacher
"Sharing
time"
gives
each one a chance to about happenings
tell
at
home
or in their
own
neighborhood.
Sawders-Cush
become unpopular with
have, of course, an equallv strong effect
his classmates.
The unfavored, or those "picked on," may gain distorted views of their worth. The preceding chapter, What School Means to the Child, suggests what vou
in the opposite direction.
can do
R's has long been considered the im-
Activities
The
vour child seems to be having trouble with his teacher. if
Anna West
is
an up-to-date parent, vou are concerned equallv with the influence of school activities on the total personalitv of your children. The classroom program can
starting
where the very entrance appears friendly. There is a large, well-equipped plavground. Attracto school in a building
tive pictures are halls.
place
The
— has
hung
office
—
a
promote social growth and foster the development of individual abilities and inSchool activities will influence, too, the formation of useful habits of
in the well-lighted
welcoming
terests.
sort of
colorful drapes, plants,
learning of facts and the three
portant part of the school program. As
Buildings Create Atmosphere Five-vear-old
Are a Strong Influence
problem-solving,
fig-
and the building
of
and comfortable chairs. Each classroom has a personalitv of its own, reflecting the tastes of its occu-
healthy emotional-spiritual patterns. The day the child enters school he begins finding out things about group liv-
pants. Tli is building surely will have
ing which he did not
urines, books,
effect
on Anna
its
as she starts her school
An
attractive,
well-ventilated,
and
well-lighted school plant will help
make boys and
to
unconsciously,
important, and that the must consider them worth-
that learning
communitv
girls feel,
is
while citizens.
It
will
contribute to a
and rewho work in the
feeling of respect for childhood
spect for the grow imps
building. Unattractive surroundings can
before. Dur-
he discovers what it is to be a member of a group of thirty or more. In this situation he learns to share, and to wait his turn. He discovers that others, including his teacher, have ideas and rights. He senses that it is his responsibilitv and privilege to contribute to the group. He finds out about leadership, "followship," and co-operation. These lessons are an essential part
ing the
career.
know
first
of growth.
135
few
years,
—
Childcraft
*6
How Do The
Schools Teach Co-operation?
Miss Hart's room opportunities -to grow socially. children
in
have Each morning they share their home and neighborhood experiences. They work out the details of the day's activities
framework of the general plan. Everyone is en-
within
the
and planning,
in activity
if
it
is
to
be
truly valuable to growth.
How Do Schools Develop Abilities? The development of individual ests
and
is
essential for a healthy
Many
teachers have found
abilities
personality.
inter-
ways
of helping their pupils achieve this
couraged, but not forced, to participate.
goal,
but
Suggestions arc considered, and rejected or accepted. The teacher takes her right-
er's
ful place as the leader of the group.
It
Opportunities for co-operative planning and living are abundant in the
have
modern classroom. They may be found
cern
is
in the student council, field trips, or the
with
all
lunchroom. Assembly programs, garden planting, or the community-fund cam-
knows the
teacher's
it
part.
on the teach-
takes ingenuity
takes a willingness to let
It
youngsters grow at their takes imagination
own
and
rate, too.
belief that all
and interests. Howard, whose chief con-
abilities
There
is
fighting.
He
the types of
fire
fire
acquainted
is
apparatus and
location of every station in
paign teach the lesson of co-operation in
His reading, arithmetic, and community study center around fire
different ways.
fighting.
In
all
these activities,
teacher and
children live together. As they plan, the children learn to respect the ideas of others, even
Thev
when
those ideas are not
and sympathize, set up rules of living, and develop skills of working and playing on a co-operative level. They can also learn to work with a friend, or perhaps even be cheerful used.
rejoice
about carrying out an undertaking with an associate whom they do not like. Teacher and pupil must both take part
his city.
desire
he
is
Through
Howard's to learn has been expanded, and this interest
experiencing success.
Susan terest
is
in
is
slow learner.
a
pets.
The
Her
chief in-
teacher has
as-
signed the classroom white mice to her care. is
Since she
is
doing something that
necessary to the classroom, she
is
a
and happier little girl than in days past. At the same time her teacher is helping her gain competence in learning busier
at
her
own
level.
John, an extra-able third-grader, can accomplish things more quickly than
some
of his classmates.
courages
him
airplanes.
He
to devote
The it
teacher en-
hobby pictures and
to his
has collected
maps and timetables, and a truly gering amount of information!
stag-
John's teacher has designated Fridav afternoons as hobby time. Pursuing old
O'-f**••»
Caring for the classroom pets may give one who is slow in reading or arithmetic a sense of real accomplishment.
A
teacher can help the frightened, the
unfriendly, or the fighters to find better
ways
of
meeting the world.
and developing new ones bring
interests
Sharing
satisfaction to all the children.
recognizing accomplishment
ideas,
confident
feeling
others,
of
in
oneself,
learning facts, and solving problems are
bv-products
valuable
of
hobbv
time.
is the encouragement There is also a developpoise and powers of expression
Best of
all,
there
of creativitv.
ment
of
as the children explain their
each other, and to parents
hobbies to
who come
to
visit.
"'Individual interests" does not
learning onlv
There
is
what one wants
learn
his
at
to learn.
a core of learning that
essarv for todav's living.
own
rate,
Each and
mean
much
as
The
less-able
goals
must
of this "core" as possible.
in-
learn
The
each child to achieve all that he is able to achieve, and in helping him to accept
accomplishment.
Learning
to
Solve Problems
means being able to meet all kinds of situations and to work out solutions based on careful analysis and facts. Young people can be encourEfficient living
aged to examine problems suitable to their ages and their abilities. Thev can learn to ask (although not in these words), "What is really involved?"
"W "hat
are the facts
and possible
tivity
solu-
Such questioning will lead to and give the courage to start
tions?"
over again
if
An
for
more-able must go way bevond the core. The art of teaching comes in guiding
his
r^zasz
child will
achievement need to be adjusted to dividual needs.
Suzanne
nec-
is
all-school
problem presents many
opportunities for growth, as was trated one vear in
Hawthorn School. A
neighbor complained in Februarv that her garden plants had been trampled the vear before. The complaint was brought to the student council and the situation, facts, and the possible solutions were carefullv considered. It was referred to each class. Eventuallv a plan was evolved. The plan included not onlv protection of gardens but the beautify-
the
ing of unsightly
community
spots.
As thev worked, the children
of
Haw-
thorn School grew in abihtv to meet a
problem situation. Individual interests were pursued. Much was learned about planning together and resolving differences of opinion. Information was gathered. Creative ideas blossomed in unways.
Growth
ac-
usual
all
these voungsters have
the initial action or solu-
illus-
will
continue
if
more experiences
of this type.
Problem
tion proves unsatisfactory.
13-
situations occur everv dav.
1
ClIILDCRAFT
38
What
shall
we do about order
in the
classroom or on the playground? How shall we behave on an excursion? What
we offer in an assembly? I low can help a newcomer get acquainted? we How can we help the shy or boisterous child? These are only a few of the nushall
merous problems
a
wide-awake teacher
her class to solve, instead of working out the solutions by herself and imposing these solutions on her pupils. will ask
Classmates Affect Growth
Most of us want, above everything, to know that we are a real part of the group and that we are accepted by our fellowmen. Children have an especially strong need to feel that they "belong." If their associates accept them and think well of them, they can meet the world each day with confidence and assurance. If boys and girls feel isolated, or live in fear of others, they will seek ways of behaving to make up for this. Some will become aggressive, bossy, and troublesome. Some may retreat, and separate themselves from the others. The child who is picked on by the class bully, for example, will have a harder time being at case with classmates. The effect on the bully himself is not good either. He needs to be shown better ways of establishing a
relationship.
The
child
who
likes and is liked by others grows through his relationships and helps others grow. The chapters "Us Kids" and Friends Are Important, in this volume, have more to say about helping children get along together.
She may sometimes have to help the group understand the needs and problems of a particular child. An appeal to their sense of justice and portant.
may
sportsmanship
increase
their
ac-
Many times teachers do how much support children
not
ceptance. realize
one another,
if
they have a
give
little
wise
get
lcss-
adult assistance.
Sometimes
a
teacher
can
sought-aftcr children together to form a
group of their own. Perhaps she will pair off two shy children. In any case, it is essential to understand that those who arc continually left out may be on dangerous ground, from the mental point of view.
Whenever
possible, children should
be allowed to work out their own relationships, but when adult help is needed the teacher must be there to give it. She has to help the bully, the bossy one, the one who is picked on, the one who is left alone.
Mary Lou's teacher helped her see why she was scared of two tormentors. She encouraged her to stand her ground, instead of running away and screaming. Richard and Jimmic could not be together without hitting or tripping each other. Their principal helped
tendencies
dle
their
The
chapters Friends
and "Us Kids,"
them han-
toward
in this
fighting.
Are Important volume, discuss
these questions at greater length.
From
each day, children will learn something. The big question is, "What arc they learning?" One or two unfortunate incidents are not important in themselves, but a series of unhappy ex-
How Can
Teachers Build Friendliness?
periences
Teachers can help classmates accept
one another. the shy,
A
teacher can often assist
awkward
child in learning to
do
the things other children consider im-
growth. is
is
apt to hinder personality
A series of satisfying experiences
apt to result in well-adjusted children
who
will
adults.
become happy
as well as useful
THE HANDICAPPED CHILD
SCHOOL
IN
LEO
F.
CAIN. Ph.D.
Professor of Education, San Francisco State College, California
cowered.
When
Jimmy was hard
of hearing.
was found out, his teacher asked for help. She was encouraged to allow him to moye freely about the room, and he was giwen a desk where he this
could see the teacher easily. A local physician assisted in haying him fitted National Society for Cripple*! Children and Adults
with a hearing aid, and one of the teachers with special training helped him with lip reading and speech deyelopment. His parents were gi\en counseling on howto help him at home. School took on a new meaning for Jimmy. As he was par-
could be any youngster you might know. He is a good-looking,
Jimmy
in learning
who had great difficulty when he first began school.
He seemed
to be bright enough, but
capable boy
tially isolated
he
from
his schoolmates be-
cause he was hard of hearing, this boy
might ha\e become
could not keep up with the class. The teacher thought that perhaps he was shy, and felt that many times when he could ha\e answered questions he was afraid to speak up. It was e\en suggested to his parents that Jimmy be kept out of school until he became a little older. When he was promoted to the second grade on trial, the problem became more acute. Jimmy was gradually withdrawing from his classmates. It was not until he was eight years old just
a se\ere personality
problem, as well as a school Xow, with the co-operation of adults concerned with him, he
failure. all is
the pro-
gressing satisfactorily.
Jimmy is one of fi\e million children who need special educational help. These children include those who are blind or partially seeing, deaf or hard of hearing, crippled, cerebral palsied,
that this youngster's difficulty was dis-
speech handicapped, menially retarded, or who have serious behayior problems. In many instances, a child like Jimmy
139
Childcraft
140
ma) need only the understanding of the school, and a willingness on its part to work with his parents, in order to achieve success rather than experience failure.
home. The Child in Handicapped chapters The the Family and Special Needs of Various Handicaps, in Volume 12, on
greatly
his experiences at
should be read
How
School for the
We
Shall is
a social experience essential
development of every
child.
It
know that, through community groups and
heartening
is
to
the efforts of
through legislation, handicapped children are being assured increasingly the for
all.
The term things in the It
the tradition of school
of
fulfillment
may mean
"school" life
in this
connection.
Choose a School?
of a
may mean many
handicapped
child.
the local public school, a
What Goals for the School? Sometimes a school is chosen, not because
it
be best for the child, but parent has high ambitions for
will
because a him. must face the fact that for the majority of handicapping conditions
We
no complete cure. The educational program must do its best to help the child find ways to make up as much there
is
The
as possible for his disability.
gram designed must
travel
a
pro-
two-way
goal should be to assist the
private or parochial day school, a private
road.
boarding school, or a state residential school. In some instances it may mean school at home with a visiting or home teacher, or it may even mean that the parent himself assumes the role of
handicapped to adjust to the nonhandicapped, and to help the nonhandicapped to accept the handicapped.
choice
the kind
of
made
of
school
terms of your child and his needs. These needs must be studied carefully and objectively. If you should be
in
place the welfare of the child
first,
you
arc likely to select the best educational service
The Local School
The
teacher.
The
Its
available.
How
child gets along in
handicapped school will depend a
local
greatest
Jersey School for the Deaf
of
to your
Resource
schools are the
educational
community
oppor-
that you
because it is usually better for a child to live with his family and go to a local dav school. Only after all local resources have been exhausted is it well to look bevond the communitv. The return
first,
community will van-. communitv with no or-
sources of each
Many New
is
First
communitv
source
tunity. It
—
times a ganized program for handicapped children will have many other seldom-used
There may be a clinic which could give help to both children and parents. A recreation center might be glad to include handicapped children in resources.
When
their hearing defects are discovered and hearing aids provided, children who were slow or troublesome in school often improve rapidly.
The Handicapped Child program. A civic club might be interested in providing funds for new or improved services. Many times additional school services can be provided if enough interested its
band
parents
together
and
request
them. Occasionallv the schools may not be aware of the needs that exist. Then they need the help of parents and community groups to further expand their programs. With an active interest on the
and civic-minded citizens, the school in the communitv, no matter what its size or location, should be able to help handicapped children in part of parents
manv
ways.
School
a Clearinghouse
Is
The
school should be, and usually is, a place where parents can go for help
and information on educational problems, even though the school cannot immediatelv provide the service desired. The school people are likely to be aware of helpful private agencies, clinics, and medical facilities either within the communitv or the state. The principal of a school usuallv is fullv aware of anv services available in any other school in the
communitv
The
school
or in neighboring localities. is
the logical place to go for
information about the program in vour state for the education of handicapped children.
Recognizing Handicaps
The
in
School
141
more than other children do. Thev mav ask for a repetition of what has been
may have
tone of voice. or a defect in speech. Manv times they appear inattentive and do poor schoolwork. said,
who have
Children ing
mav
a peculiar
difficulties in see-
blink, frown, or squint.
may hold
Thev
small objects close to their
They may not be able to blackboard, and thev may trip
read the
eyes.
or stum-
ble easilv.
Children with speech problems may make sound substitutes or omissions. They may lisp, may speak indistinctly, may repeat or hesitate in their speech. There are some children who seem to
have no power of speech. This condition may be one which is known as aphasia. These children are often confused with deaf children.
Children
who have
crippling condi-
problems often lack bodily co-ordination and are aukward in the use of their hands and feet. Sometimes they tire easilv. Thev sometimes become behavior problems because they are unable to carry out physically manv of the things thev have thought through mentally. Children who are slow-learning and mentallv retarded may have poor bodilv co-ordination, mav have difficulty in learning to read or write, and may lack the judgment and responsibility shown bv children of similar age. tions or special health
child with a club foot, a harelip,
some such pronounced phvsical characteristic will usually come to the attenor
tion of the teacher
many svmptoms
and the parent. But
of other handicapping
Finding Educational Services
Once svmptoms have been a
follow-up
teacher or parent
conditions are not so easily recognized.
cide exactly
For instance, children who are deaf or hard of hearing may watch the facial ex-
difficulty
pressions of the persons talking to
them
program
is.
is
is
in
detected, order.
A
not equipped to de-
what or how severe
a child's
Their observations should
be made known to the principal, the psychologist, the school nurse,
and the
Bring out the talents in
a
handicapped
child,
highlight the things he
can him
and you
free
be his best
self.
do, to
National Society for Crippled Children and Adults
physician, or any other possibly helpful service within the school. If
no
services
to use better his ability
and energy
in
learning.
arc available within the school, parents
be encouraged to follow through with a physician or a recommended agency. YVlien a child's disability has
How Can We
been accurately determined, the school
lished agencies to give the child the best
hidden talent may often go undetected in a handicapped child. Parents and teachers become so concerned with taking care of the handicap itself that the}"
educational program possible.
neglect the child as a total personality.
may
authorities
may work
with the physician,
in
co-operation
clinic, or
other estab-
Schools Meet Emotional Needs
The handicapped
child
is first
of all a
child.
He
more
likely to get these desirable feel-
needs affection, security, and the feeling that he "belongs." He is ings
if
the goals set for
him can be
without undue strain. His achievements can be judged in terms of things that are useful to him. It may be more important at a particular point in his development for a child to spend time on the improvement of his speech rather than to spend time in learning to spell or to write. Better speech may be the avenue for establishing good relationships with his classmates. Such rereached
lationships,
in
turn,
contribute
to
a
he has that confident sense of belonging, he will be able feeling of belonging. If
Emphasize Assets?
Parents and teachers can emphasize the assets of the handicapped child.
A
Find out what he can do. This may be the means of helping his adjustment with other children. Encourage his participation with other children, where he can use his assets. Acceptance comes all can participate in common group interests. Schools at their best have the opportunity to stress the ways in which the handicapped child is like
when
all
the other children.
Schools can provide the handicapped child with sufficient freedom. Many
handicapped children are made dependent because too much is done for them. Overprotection may result in the use of the handicap as a crutch, to avoid tasks that actually could be accomplished. Too much dependence can also isolate the handicapped child from other children. In a good group setting, the handi-
capped child can often have chances to 142
The Handicapped Child
ix
School
143
out his powers, in ways that would be impossible at home.
through the school or co-operating com-
How
How Can Some
trv
Schools Accept the Child
No
matter what facilities the school has to offer, it can serve as a place where the handicapped child will be accepted
and
Many handicapped
understood. attend
children
where
schools
local
no special facilities. In such cases the handicapped child's success depends upon the attitudes of the principal and teachers of the school. Their job is to accept the child and to help him make adjustments. Teachers can further the handicapped child's acceptance bv his fellow-classmates. Nothing can improve the well-being of the handicapped child as much as the feeling that he is a part of his group. Both parents and teachers can take steps to see that the handicapped child is accepted. there are
munitv agencies.
Many
now
schools
services for
provide
special
or even
all
these facilities
mav
vour community. If so, the parents and school should work together with the community to see if a wav can be found to provide these essential senices. In many instances neighboring
be lacking
in
communities have joined together to secure services that would have been impossible for one community to have alone.
Many
states also aid local areas finan-
and provide personnel for services handicapped children. There are a number of private agencies whose purpose it is to aid in improving services for handicapped children across the councially,
to
Local community organizations, including both men's and women's service try.
clubs,
Schools Provide Special Services
Services Be Secured?
have shown themselves ready to
assist in
providing a better educational
program
for the
handicapped
child.
handicapped children. These
What
include special classes for the blind, the the deaf, the hard-of-
partially-seeing,
Residential Schools Offer
Often the needs of the handicapped
speech-handicapped. Many schools also have special classes for children who are mentallv retarded.
more than the facilities of the local community can provide. Circumstances mav make it undesirable to keep the child at home, or the family
Special schools for the physically handi-
may
capped and mentally retarded are able in some communities.
not easv to obtain services. Tradition-
hearing. palsied,
the
the
crippled,
cerebral-
and the
avail-
ally,
A large number of
school systems em-
who
go from school to
ploy specialists
school to help both children and teachers.
This group includes speech correc-
tionists,
hearing
therapists,
and
specialists,
others.
Home
are also provided for children
child require
physical
live in
an isolated place where
it is
the state residential school has been
considered the place to send children with handicaps. This has been particularly true of
the blind, the deaf, and the
mentally retarded. Practically every state supports resi-
teachers
dential schools for these groups.
who
The
tra-
are
ditional state residential schools expect
homebound and cannot
to keep the child for the greater portion
Special
attend school. home-visiting service,
of his school career.
clinics,
and medical
services are often provided
children to go
Thev
home
usually permit
during vacation.
M4 Mam
Childcraft of these schools feci that their
students should have as
much commu-
contact as possible, particularly as they approach adulthood. In order to provide this contact they send the stunity
who
can make a satisfactory adjustment to neighboring high schools rather than keep them at the residential dents
school.
Some
send a child away to school should be based on the kind and extent of his handicap and the general situation in the family. Educating the child in the community is considered desirable, if it is possible. Then he can have the ad\an-
normal family life and home relationships. But sometimes this cannot be worked out. tages of
of the recently established resi-
Schools and Parents
dential schools have programs designed to keep the child for a limited period to have
only.
Their goal
to his
own community
is
as
him
return
soon as he
is
able to adjust to the school facilities available there.
The
length of time a
The education child
is
of
— Partners
the handicapped
a job that requires close team-
work between school and parents. The chapter Home and School Are a
Team,
in
Volume
15,
has excellent sug-
type of residential
gestions that hold true for parents of
upon the nature and extent of his handicap and the ability of the local community to proyide the serv-
handicapped children. In the case of handicapped boys and girls, schools and
child
stavs
in
this
school depends
ices
he needs.
homes
will find
it
helpful to take the
children's medical adyisers into partnership, too.
When
Is
Residential School an
Answer?
In addition to the public residential
throughout the country many priyate boarding schools for handicapped children. Many of these arc excellent, but many are mediocre or poor. In addition to proyiding good hying quarters, proper food, and an atmosphere of security, these schools should have personnel who are trained to proyide a well-rounded educational program. Unless the school maintains high standards, it is likely to do the child untold damage. All states require some form of lischools,
censing
there
for
exist
these
schools.
A
careful
check through a physician, your school, or a reliable community agency should be made before you decide to place a child in one of these schools. Just because a residential school is available docs not mean it is the best place for your child. The decision to
Working ers
together, parents
and teach-
can often succeed in obtaining better
seryices for
handicapped children and
in
awakening the community to needs that should be met. Schools can help parents of handicapped children through parent-training classes. Here parents mav meet with others who have similar problems. They mav acquire necessary information about their children's handicapping conditions and mav learn many useful things about working with the children at home. Local schools and residential schools, alike, haye carried on parent-training classes
with great success.
A
child
who
is
secure at
home, and
whose parents take an understanding interest in the de\elopment and impro\e-
ment
of the educational opportunities
for him, is indeed fortunate. He is on the road to becoming a happy, adjusted citizen.
THE WAYS OF SCHOOLS Luorna,
Monkmeyer
19.
DISCIPLINE
20.
REPORTS AND PROMOTIONS
21.
MEASURING ACHIEVEMENT AND ABILITY
Many facts about how children learn have been made clear in the last thirty years. Schools have changed their programs to take advantage of these facts, and are constantly revising teaching methods as new facts and procedures are discovered. Learning to communicate with others is as important as learning when not to communicate, so
"good discipline" no longer means absolute quiet. The noises that go on while children work busilv and happily together are not necessarily out of line with good discipline.
In planning promotions, in grouping children
whole child is taken into consideration. In measuring achievement or readiness, the goal is to get a picture within a
class,
and
in reporting progress, the
of the total personality.
The purpose
of these
newer ways
in schools
is
more children get along better. But, under the most favorable circumstances, some bovs and girls will still run into difficulties at some time in some phase of school life. If these difficulties arc wisely handled by teachers and parents, they may to help
be
less
troublesome.
flf)
,f5
»
Public Schools, Madison. Wis,
DISCIPLINE HILLIS Principal,
L.
HOWIE,
M.A.
The Community
budgeted that neither the children's "sitability" nor excitabilitv is pushed bevond endurance. The native curiosity of boys and girls can be channeled in educationally profitable directions. When the program school day
School, St. Louis,
Mo.
is
so
provides rich opportunities for investigation,
When complishment there
is
orderliness in
a
and
ac-
classroom
with no conspicuous effort on the part of the teacher,
we
say
good
being maintained. Good discipline always looks easy, but it is achieved by studied effort to put into daily practice all that is known about how children learn, and how they grow discipline
into
is
competent
experimentation,
and
creative
use of a wide variety of materials, children are interested. Interested boys and girls are less likely to be mischief-makers. Such a school program has an increasing
amount
of art, crafts,
and
science.
Children learn through practice to make decisions, and to think about the consequences of these decisions. For
good
discipline in a school, the
program
should afford plenty of opportunity for
adults.
children to participate in planning, and,
Program
to Foster Discipline
and
have an abundance of physical energy that needs to be released in legitimate fashion. The school program, therefore, needs to balance large-muscle, and usually boisterous, activities such as games and folk dancing, with quiet, relaxing activities such as listening to a story or to music. All other school activities fall somewhere between these two extremes. The Lively, eager boys
girls
afterward, in appraising activities.
The
teacher plans with the children rather
than ior them, but the teacher is still the leader. The same principles for developing inner controls without making a child fearful or rebellious hold true in school as
at
home. These
principles are dis-
cussed in the chapters in the section Living Together in the Family, in Vol-
ume 47
12,
and the chapter Difficulties
CmincRAi
>4« i\
with ( )nii rs. in Volume 13. Children would rather be with a I
i\
tNG
group than alone. hey want to be liked and admired. Therefore, the program ^tresses group projects and teamwork rather than competition among indiI
When
viduals.
full-fledged
a child feels himself a
member
of the group, valued
unique characteristics, he
for his
is
apt
Some
Hum
there
is
no room
for friendly con-
would not know what thev were expected to do if In fact, children
versation.
thev did not listen with a sharp focus of attention.
Even day there are manv occasions when it is imperative that children listen to teachers' brief instructions. By mak-
ing suggestions or asking questions, pu-
may show
pils
or Idle Chatter?
parents and teachers, observing
hum
and bustle of a busv classroom, 1 he children seem to come and go they please. Can that be good disci-
the
drills,
do or do not comprehend, but everyone must wait for
to be reasonably co-operative.
Busy
i
that thev
the signal for action. This classroom cus-
tom must be established at the outset. Even then, there will be some deviations
ask. "
and they
as
Closelv related to this rule
take
principle: teachers
pline?"
The answer
depends on the nature of the activitv and the purpose behind it." There is a difference between the noise and confusion of a newspaper office when the staff is getting out an "extra" and the noise and confusion of
New
will
is,
"It
Eve
handling.
careful
must not
is
another
talk
on and
on and on. If thev do, thev run the risk of being tuned out just as effectivelv as a radio would be. Self-Reliance
In
Is
Goal
the
some classrooms the fundamental
celebration. Just so,
aspects of child development are not
between a class busilv working together on several purposeful projects and the inconsequential chatter and aimless wandering of a class where discipline of any kind is lacking. Children must learn to collaborate, to talk over their work with one another.
recognized or clearlv understood. Here
a
there
Good
Year's
is
a
difference
discipline allows for purposeful
moving about and
for the
hum
of voices
that accompanies workmanlike activity.
a temporarilv satisfactorv discipline
prevail so long as children
may
know what
is
expected of them, or accept the demands as reasonable. This state of affairs does not foster a child's best development. Under such a regime, there is little
or
no preparation
for the
a child, inevitably, will
When
time when
be "on
his
own."
children reach the point of not
In main" situations children learn useful
accepting the demands as reasonable,
information from each other, and the ingenious teacher takes full advantage of
there can be onlv surface obedience, at best.
this fact in assigning subjects for reports.
sistance or rebellion. In such a situation
or in organizing small-group arithmetic
the teacher usually resorts to forms of
drills.
coercion and other high-handed meth-
When Prompt Attention Is Vital Good discipline does call for performing certain tasks in silence. In taking tests
and
going
through
emergencv
More
frequentlv. there will be
re-
ods to enforce discipline. These methods intimidate voung children. Thev often
become
so
tense and frightened
that
Thev
ma\-
they cannot think clearlv. even lose all self-control.
Youngsters
who seem
to bring out all
and mischief in one another need more stable work partners. the silliness
A
tendency to reduce procedures to rules and regulations, even in a kindly way, is not the best discipline. From the child's point of view, the
and formal the centive to
rules,
make
a
more
elaborate
the greater the
game
in-
of trying not to
get caught in violations.
Much
"child
energy" and time have been wasted
in
finding ways of getting around rules.
Good
discipline
works toward
reliant self-discipline. If that
children
selfSuzanne Szasz
the aim,
is
must never be allowed
to feel
that persons in authority are working
probablv not every day in every way, but
There must be the mutual feeling that "we are all in this boat together" and are "all for one and one
often enough to give everv
for all."
take responsibilitv senses
against them.
deep
member
a
satisfaction.
A
class that has
grown
in ability to its
power
to
accomplish, and everv child takes pride
Good
Discipline Builds
Group
Spirit
in
Unitv of feeling within groups can be seen and felt when discipline has been wiselv handled in classrooms. In such
rooms there is enthusiasm, devotion, and concern for the group's reputation. There is lovaltv to the purposes of the group, whether one happens to be the
that accomplishment.
good, too.
feels
The
The
teacher
satisfaction
that
comes from helping children achieve a higher level of maturity and productivitv is one of the major compensations that
make teaching an
attractive career.
Self-Control Varies from Child to Child
leader or just a participant in the par-
In
everv
grade,
some children
are
ticular activitv.
readv for responsibilitv and independent
Genuine regard and consideration for others become contagious. This works
work before others are. The teacher becomes sensitive to these differences and also to the needs of each child. She
both the extremelv boisterous and the extremelv shv child. The former finds it easier to accept the to the advantage of
suggestions
and the initiative.
begin
to
and leadership
latter begins to
Ways
The
others,
more
reflect
who
great goal, self-control,
is
ences that will further his independence.
realized.
each other, quietlv, of course, so that
volunteer to
duties of a child
child appropriate experi-
absent.
inner discipline.
mav
to give each
She mav sav, "John and Susie, you seem to be readv to work alone in the reading corner. If you come to a word that vou do not recognize, you mav help
of reacting to situations
example, a child
sume the
of
displav
modifies classroom procedure in order
is
For as-
149
Childcrai
ISO you do not disturb the work." In those instances
rest of us in
our
where children
fail
reason to believe that they are con-
fused by too wide a range of choices, or are expected to take too high a step from
one
level
of responsibility to another.
Often, the remedy
is
for the teacher to
try the child in less exacting situations,
where he can and does succeed. jane and Nancy invariably get the
when they
gles
gig-
gether at the reading table. Ineir teacher less
being modified knowledge. As
in
the
light
this
children with
result,
a
of
kind are making easier
difficulties of this
adjustments to the school regime. Marked changes have taken place in the typical first-grade program, for example. Many construction activities with blocks, resembling the program in
whom
vear-olds for
six-
sitting quietly for
long stretches of time
impossible.
is
sit to-
r
it
physical side of
kindergarten, are available to those
are allowed to care for
the second grade's hamsters or to
finds
know ledge about the
child development. School programs are
to fulfil] the teacher's expectations, thereis
ing
I
How Can You
Another type
disturbing to pair the flighty
Nancy with stable, conscientious Susan. Nancy needs someone to keep her in
Deal with the Clown?
be
a
of child
who seems
whom
center of disturbance, and
the teacher can help, trying to live
up
is
the child
to
who
is
to the reputation of
and Susan is the girl to do it. Jane docs not seem ready to work independently under typical second-grade condi-
being funny.
but her teacher plans to trv her in out situations where she can assume
provoke laughter. Ilicre seems to be enough "ham"
small
amounts of responsibility and gradually become steadier during the
all
year.
unable to resist the temptation to usurp more than their share of attention. If
line,
tions,
What About
Some
the Troublemakers?
children are
endowed with such
an overabundance of animal energy that
—
—
cannot literally cannot hold themselves in for long periods of physi-
they
cal inactivity.
Sometimes
their restless-
ness has a real physiological cause which
can be treated by a doctor.
Sometimes
these
children
become
nuisances because of unintentional awkwardness. Only time and an appropriate physical-education program will correct that condition.
Active drains
Today we have
incrcas
construction with big blocks off the surplus energy of the sixes, who have limited "sitability."
facial
He
has discovered that his
expressions or facetious remarks
voung human beings
for
them
in
to be
T-ucien Aigner
"Dunce-cap discipline" played right into a troublemaker's hands. Discover why he is driven to make trouble and you avoid many difficulties.
they cannot have the center of the stage,
they gladlv carry on their distracting monkev business around the edges of
schoolroom problem of long standing. The prestige enjoved bv comedians in this age of radio and telexision mav account in part for the tendencv of some children to clown. In some children, clowning is a false front to cover up self-consciousness and insecurity and, occasionallv. fear. As thev are helped to feel at ease and comfortable in all situations, the clowning decreases. In other children, "showing the
class.
off"
is
This
is
a
the easiest
way
of attracting at-
terests of the class,
mav be
ration
the onlv effective treat-
ment. In acute cases of showing off, caution should be used in placing the clown on exhibition. His exhibitionism, alreadv overdeveloped, will only be highlighted.
acceptable ways. Treating the root of the trouble will always bring about im-
corner or
proved behavior more effectivelv than
the wrong effect,
—
svmptoms which is done when one puts a stop
treating surface
that
is
distractions
sarv
The
and annovances.
sit
on
a certain chair
to focus attention
dis-
tended
on him. It had just and did not accom-
what was intended.
plish
The are,
are times, certainly,
old-time device of having a
turber of the peace stand in a certain
to
when puta stop to the behavior mav be necesif class work is to continue. Then
There ting
all
also protect the
offender's best interests, temporary sepa-
and winning group approval. Thev need opportunities for earning satisfaction and the spotlight in socially tention
and
talents of the clown, such as thev
should be appreciated
in a casual,
everyday way. Concentrated effort can be made to help him to become a normal, rounded personalitv.
the teacher needs the support of the class,
the comedian's audience,
to help
him make
tion to the fun
if
she
is
his rightful contribu-
and work
of the class-
room. Discussions about the different kinds of humor, the proper and improper times for fun, and the rights of a class to undistracted thinking on serious subjects usually go a long way toward building the needed amount of discre-
When
Is
His
Own
Worst Enemy
There are some children who seem to have a genius for "rubbing people the wrong way." Thev continually manage to get themselves and others into trouble. Thev do not seem able to develop inner controls or to conform to the accepted ways of the classroom. Thev continually start fights.
quentlv
tion.
Occasionally, to protect the best
a Child
late.
Thev
arc
fre-
Often thev are sullen and
rude. Sometimes, probablv out of sheer
in-
i;i
Childcraft
152 desperation, they stay
away from school
may be
boats or
engines that really
the youngster.
interest
altogether.
fire
If
a
child can
tendency for teachers to say, "He (or she) has always been that way, according to the school records. It's beyond me." Some of these cases do
gain a degree of admiration from the
require a specialist in child guidance,
this child satisfying recognition, she
but there is still a great deal an ested, sympathetic teacher can do.
have made
I
here
is
a
Regardless child
is
his
of
inter-
outer crust,
starved for affection
by becoming the "expert" on some topic, antagonism may begin to decrease.
class
If
the teacher can find a
this
and the
who makes trouble, but, in the may save time if she does try to make friends with him. Once a child feels there is an adult who will
wish to be an outcast or an outlaw, but he docs not know how to help himself. The skillful teacher can rescue this child from the downward spiral of provoking
antagonism and getting antagonism
ing,
in
for looking be-
vond the undesirable behavior and the
possibilities
in
the
see-
A
child.
show by words, and
by actions, that she likes the chronic offender even though she docs not like, and will not permit, what he is doing. Antagonism only adds fuel to the flames. The teacher needs to use every strategy to convince such a child that he lias a better self and that she will trv to especially
help
him
him without scolding or preachhe may let down some of his de-
listen to
fenses.
return.
teacher needs to
beginning in securing his
not casv for a busy teacher to take time to talk in an easy, relaxed way with long run, she
ing
Many
of the children
who
are
the worst discipline problems have never
been trusted by an adult. They may never have been sure of the friendship of a grownup, either. It takes a long time to convince such a youngster that he can count on you, that you will stand by him, but that you will be firm with him, too. The chapters When Things Go Wrong and Children in Trouble, in this volume, will be helpful to read in this
connection.
find this self.
Discipline
How Can You
Good
Bring Out the Best in the
Offender?
When
may
It is
a child
calls
to give
co-operation.
feeling of being wanted. lie docs not
The treatment
some way
and Overcrowding
discipline
is
difficult to
achieve
an overcrowded classroom, but it is possible. The teacher can divide the large group into small sections. Then she can give the children of one section her attention, while members of other sections work quietly at their desks. This in
showing his most unattractive side is the very time he needs the warmth and affection of an undera child
is
standing adult.
boy or girl has even a spark of wholesome interest, a teacher may be If a
able to use
it
to break a vicious circle.
Fearing and being feared, or hating and being hated, is frequently the troublemaker's lot.
Sometimes
it is
sports,
sometimes
it is
a radio or a television program, again
it
is
quite like standard first-grade reading-
group procedure. The teacher carries the usual plan a step further by appointing capable children to help those
need In ers"
who
it.
some have
schools, these "teacher's helpa
regular
planning-meeting
Crowded schoolrooms seem less congested when the teachers go guietly
from
child
child to give help as is
to it
needed.
Lois Hobart from Cushing
with the teacher. This meeting gives her the opportunity to outline the jobs to
be done, the
difficulties to
be expected,
and the methods to be used. The
experi-
working against the double disadvantage of having far too many children and far too few maps, books, charts, chairs, desks, and other All too often, she
is
ence of being a teacher's helper can be thoroughly educational. It should be given to as many children as are readv
necessary supplies.
This device is an effective way for the teacher to keep in close touch with the progress of each child.
and confusion, bv moving from group to group and child to child. This
for
it.
A
skillful
teacher can reduce the
within the classroom, and the attendant noise
is
a better
arrangement than having the
children constantly
How Can Noise and Confusion Be Avoided? The teacher in the crowded classroom staggering
the noisv work
periods
with quiet work periods. She seeks out
unused basement nooks for messv jobs such as painting. She delegates to children the responsibility for library, supply shelves, and cloakroom. She also
coming
to her desk.
Parents Help in the Overcrowded Class
In the overcrowded classroom, confer-
uses her ingenuity in such practical ways as
traffic
ences with parents are exceedingly important. Some children need extra help
home. All parents need to know what is being done to make the best of a difficult situation. The more difficult the at
situation, the greater the
need for teach-
She calls upon parents to help, from time to time. Some teachers even ask
and parents to work together closelv. Greater mutual respect and more than the usual amount of home-school collaboration have often grown out of these
the help of fathers in repairing school
emergencies.
gives out
even task that can be done bv
smaller hands.
equipment, when school.
If
facilities are
necessary,
the
lacking in
teacher
provises orange-crate shelves
ers
and
Discipline in Rural Schools
im-
In the rural school,
chairs. ;>;>
good
discipline
is
ClIILDCRAFT
i54
and conscientious
founded on the same knowledge of child development that is the basis for discipline in larger schools. There are certain
about their role as parents, but some-
special conditions to consider in the onc-
ity.
room
school.
With
children of several
and possibly many combinations of brothers and sisters, in the same room, the class resembles a family. As in a family, there can be a division of labor, ages,
with the older children helping the younger. This works to the teacher's advantage in organizing recitations, work groups, and play. She can parcel out
and gain much-needed help. Because teacher's helpers tend to copy her methods even gestures and tones authority,
of voice
tious for their children
times too eager to enforce their author-
Because of traditional stern discipline in many families, the teacher should be careful about sending adverse reports home. Children have received severe punishments for comparatively trivial mistakes.
tion should be carefully
good example in her teaching methods. Many of the same devices used in the overcrowded classroom will serve to extend the teacher's right arm, and will enable her to spread her instruction not too thinly over the entire class. Taking Account
of
Community Customs
to each,
What About Punishment? about discipline, there has been greater emphasis on reward than on punishment. Reward does not mean gold stars or blue ribbons. The deep inner satisfaction that comes from success and achievement, from teachers' and parents' approval, and from the fun of living and working in a friendly, pleasant atmosphere, is the In
this
discussion
should deal with things that matter in this localitv. Since many teaching materials are prepared for city children, many adaptations and
actually harmful.
substitutions are in order. For instance,
when
city children are
pal water supply
studving munici-
and sewage
disposal,
children of a rural school can be studv-
and springs and sanitation problems of their community. ing
wells
Anvone who has ever lived in a rural J community knows how quickly and, often,
how
inaccurately
news
spreads.
This suggests that the teacher must devise an effective means of communicating with the parents. They arc ambi-
in
be exchanged.
real reward.
activities
worked out
and important information can
Another special condition is the rural environment itself, and the background of the families. The subject matter and classroom
collabora-
the rural school. Points of view of parent and teacher can then be interpreted
— — the teacher has the obligation
to set a conspicuously
The home-school
Other forms of reward are unnecessary, artificial, and, in some instances,
Thcv tend
to cheat
children out of the onlv genuine and lasting reward,
which
is
something that
takes place within them.
Children need to learn that certain kinds of behavior bring about unpleasant consequences. It is seldom necessary for the teacher to think up an artificial consequence. Punishments fade into the
background as the class begins to work on jobs that matter. The greater the confidence between teacher and children, the more the program holds interest, the less is discipline a problem in school, or in anv activity involving lively, eager children.
AND
REPORTS
PROMOTIONS HAROLD
SHANE,
G.
Ph.D.
Dean. School of Education. Indiana University, Bloomington. Ind.
parents judge the school's proMost gram by the child's
chiefly
re-
port cards and what happens to
him with
regard to promotion.
the child
How
grouped, and the kind of he is expected to do. also
is
homework
plav a part in giving
many
parents their
picture of school today.
Ways Some
of
ago.
manv elementary
1
ing, spelling, arithmetic,
present, a large
and
number
history.
At
of the schools
use the letter grades (A. B.
C
i,
grades to letter writing
and parent conferences. This is a result of growing recognition of the fact that a single symbol such as "S c r " or a "B" does not reallv tell a parent what his son (
or daughter grade.
The
is
achieving
in. say,
the third
trend also recognizes the un-
and sometimes
emotionally
harmful, effect of arbitrary grades upon certain children in the classroom. Newer
schools gave children percentage grades (~8 rc. 92 c in such subjects as read'c
ABC
pleasant,
Reporting Progress
vears
age or
or send
check-list cards or descripti\e letters to
reporting policies
are
departing from
the comparative and competitive forms
once used. These forms have ing and are the source of
little
mean-
much
heart-
primary and intermediategrade children. Grades are not incen-
break
for
tives for learning, either.
parents. Especially in the primary years,
an increasing number of teachers now confer with parents two or more times each vcar. In a minority, but a growing
What Do Marks
minority, of school districts, there are
parents are likely to say, "and that's
no formal reports through grade
formation enough for me!" But
six.
"An
Are Report Cards Changing?
There has been
a shift
from percent-
'A' or 'B'
means
that
my
child
doing 'excellent' or 'good' work."
a
Why
Tell?
moment. Does
a grade of
manv
>y
in-
reflect
"A" mean
Johnny is doing an excellent job spelling, measured against his abilitv
that
is
in
or
ClIILDCRU T
iq6
measured against the level of class achievement? Perhaps Johnny is a bright or average lad in a group of mediocre ability. Perhaps his effort is well below his capacity, yet sufficiently above the level of the work of his classmates to merit an "A" on a competitive basis. Again. Walter may be a slowly maturing child. He may receive, in comparison with other children
an able group,
in
when he ability.
A
is
a
grade of
"D"
working to the best of his
single grade of ""l'- " or
ardized tests, children in this grade arc
normal situation to have ability ranging from that of an ayerage child finishing second grade through that of an ayerage child completing grade eight or nine. In all fairness, one would not expect a se\cn-\ ear-old to compete physically with a thirteen- or fourteen-year-old. Bv the same token, one should not expect children of equally divergent mental ages to be judged by fixed grade standards. likely
"D"
simplv does not tell enough of the story " or "A" of Walter. Neither does "qi (
'
vS Should Good Marks Be Rewarded?
not desirable to pay or to penalize children for the grades they receive. It is
School work should be pleasant for children because it appeals to their interests and purposes rather than because they can expect money, sweets, or toys for earning good reports.
unplanned celebration when a child has done well can give him a lift he deserves. "Choco-
Sometimes
pleasant,
a
dinner tonight to celebrate Dot's good work," is always in order. Or, "Let's have a picnic in honor of Dick. I lis teacher says he's reading like a house
late pie for
afire
these days." Such treats have
none
of the unfortunate features of a bribe.
Punishment ways unwise.
for
If a
low grades
Children should be able to live happily in school with friendly classmates of similar interests. successfully.
also
The
essence
policy
of
good promotion
a
arranging to guide children's
is
progress through school so that the capable child
challenged to the peak of his ability. At the same time, the growing youngsters need to be permitted to is
achieve successfully without being called
upon
perform tasks beyond their
to
ability.
This approach means that some children do take more than six years to complete the
first six
grades, but arc allowed
do so only after a careful study of their total development has been made. to
is al-
youngster has done his but a "C," a "D,"
level best, yet receives
What Has Research Shown About Promotion?
or a critical letter-report, sympathetic
Academic standards have been found
understanding and help in planning for improvement do more good than a reprimand. Grades and grading can affect chil-
to be highest in schools with high pro-
dren's feelings
and
attitudes. Undesira-
ble attitudes often are created
by
well-
meaning parents who promise rewards the children can never quite earn. Sometimes, too, parents create fears and tensions with threats of what will happen "if
these grades don't improve!"
motion rates. Children do not do better under the threat of failure. It may even hinder educational progress. Children usually are not strengthened in school subjects
more
by repeating
Is
Good Promotion
Policy?
Children sense at an early age that there
is
a disgrace of sorts involved in
"flunking."
Even
in
school
districts
They
are
be bored. Children mature at different rates of speed. They should not be "failed" simply because they happen to follow a slowlikely to
pattern of growth.
It is
the facts to expect
What
a grade.
exactly
inconsistent with
children
to
one year scholasticallv
in
gain
one
calendar year. Intellectual growth spurts and slows down, just as docs physical
growth.
where teachers never use the word, "flunk" early finds
its
way
into the chil-
dren's vocabularies.
Good
schools seek to help
all
children
make continuous
progress through the grades. Such progress involves atto
tempting to place and to keep children it grade levels where they can achieve
What Are Disadvantages in "Skipping"? As a rule, parents will be wise if they
move
slowly in regard to having their
child cither repeat a year or skip a year.
The basic question here is not only, "Will our child do better in schoolwork at a different grade level?"
The
question
Reports and Promotions our child continue to make the best social adjustment?" In the long run, it is the well-adjusted child is,
also, "\\ Tiere will
who comes and
out on top, both personally
in learning subject matter.
The ping"
argument against
basic
is
that
it
may
''skip-
result in the capable
from school than he might ha\e gained had he remained with his age group. The able child who might haye been class president, team captain, or honor student may lose such opportunities by being pushed ahead too far and too fast. He may miss out on much of the fun of growing up happily if thrust ahead into a group where social and physical immaturity contriyes to child gaining less
make him
a misfit.
Ways Children
of
Grouping Children
may be
assigned to class-
rooms more or less by age in years. Sometimes an effort is made to group boys and girls by ability. In other are helped
schools, children
ahead
at their
own
rates. In
moye
to
still
others,
teachers attempt to diyide children so that in each section of the
there
is
a balanced
same grade
group of children
^59
What Is Good Grouping? Grouping plans that recognize
indi-
yidual differences within the classroom
eycryone a good opportunity for deyelopment. In these plans the teacher attempts to help each child progress at his own rate. For example, in a single primary classroom there may be three or four reading groups working together in turn. Each group uses reading materials appropriate to the reading ability of the children in that group. This is flexible grouping, and children are not labeled as being "dumb" or "a brain." Such a plan recognizes that children who may need to work with a less mature group in reading may need to work with a more adyanced group in arithmetic. In some schools, teachers, principal, and the school psychologist, if there is one, discuss each spring how the children at eyery grade le\el can be divided so that in the following autumn each group will reflect the spread of ability and range of offer
personality found in real
life.
a "good" group plan deon the mechanics of any scheme than on the classroom spirit a
Actually,
pends
less
talented teacher can create.
A
teacher
capable of getting along well together. Of necessity, possibilities for grouping
can probably do his most creatiye work when he has a normal range of ability,
children differ with the size of a school.
personality,
"You ought late
me on
courage a report
to
to
congratu-
having the bring
home
like that."
Salo
Roth
and
social
adjustment
in the
Happy
children tend to
work up
to
capacity in
studies,
their
desire
if
learn
to
been kept
their
has
alive.
>uznnne >za#z
groups of boys and works.
girls
with
whom
he
Should There Be Homework?
uniform homework for all pupils was part and parcel of elementary-school programs until recently. The practice has decreased and even been abandoned for the lower Regularly
grades in
assigned
many
school systems.
Assignment of formal homework proved unsatisfactory for several reasons. It was difficult for the teacher to make an assignment meet the needs of twenty-five or
more
different children.
Problems on a page in the arithmetic book might be completed by Susan in fifteen minutes, yet require from one to two hours of laborious effort on Dorothy s part. Jack may not know how to do
the problems.
Dan may
require help
from Father and Mother, or simply fix a wrong procedure in mind by doing eighteen long-division problems incorrectly.
Often
in
cities.
Cub and Brownie
programs. Scouting, hobbies, swimming lessons,
and
so on,
for a child's time.
all
At
compete some schools
valuable, least
have curtailed homework to help children find time for assorted activities that
make
their lives richer.
Educators' ideas regarding drill work arc changing. At one time, drill work,
such as
home
assignments, was a main-
stay of teaching.
ognition
is
Nowadays
given to teaching in ways
more meaning, and in ways enable children to learn more with
that have that less
.60
greater rec-
routine repetition.
Reports and Promotions
"Homework" once meant ers
needed to spend
correcting
—
day time
and
a great deal of
homework during a
good
that teach-
bit of
time
range
101
conference with the teacher to discuss the situation. a
the school
Understanding Your School
out-of-school
Teachers have increased duties nowadays, such as parent conferences and curriculum-study meetings. Such activities as those in elementary science, music, art, and field trips during as well.
children's early years in school leave
lit-
time for teachers to work an hour or more each dav with the children on yesterday's at-home assignment. tle
Report cards, grouping or promotion practices, and homework provide a common ground where most parents and teachers meet. These elements can lead either to greater understanding and a closer working relationship or to confusion and criticism.
The that
school has a responsibility to see policies
its
are
explained
intelli-
gently to parents. Parents have a pre-
Does Homework Improve Learning?
On
cious stake in their child's educational
the whole, the decrease in home-
work seems
desirable. Investigations re-
peatedly have
shown
that the level of
children's achievement in subject matter has try
as
improved each year in the couna whole despite the decline of
would be
a mistake to create the
impression that homework has been discarded. Children continue, in educationally interesting schools, to
They
are wise judges.
will feel that the school
do work
is
Thev
"theirs" to the
degree that they sense that their ideas
welcomed and respected. Parents, on their part, have
are
bility, too.
This
is
and taking the
a responsi-
the responsibility to
by making the
give of themselves
overnight assignments. It
experiences.
time
to
learn
effort
what
schools are doing. Parents need to rec-
ognize that both mothers and fathers are
expected to assume an increased
good bit of help or "coaching" in the work he is supposed to do at home, something is awrv
measure of responsibility for their children's education. This is done by taking part in parent-teacher conferences and by visiting school. Only parents can give the information teachers need with regard to the development of a youngster in the home and neighborhood. It is important to remember that each bov or girl has two parents. Meetings of organizations that bring parents and teachers together, and report-conferences with teachers, will be improved when both parents attend. If parents understand the school, and the school,
in his progress in school. Children, with
in turn,
not be coming home with assignments they cannot handle by themselves. If your child consistently seems to be floundering, ar-
the best interests of the children will
outside of the classroom. "Recreational
homework" where
children follow up
the interests stimulated in school couraged. There
is
"individualized"
homework.
who need
is
en-
also an increase in
special help receive
Children it.
Chil-
dren are also encouraged to look up information to be brought in the next dav and shared with the class. Should Parents Help with Homework? If a child requires a
rare exceptions, should
is
willing to
work with
parents,
usually be served, even though, occasionally,
practices
disagreements
may
arise.
over
certain
MEASURING ACHIEVEMENT
AND SYCHOLOGISTS
P
llclVC
dc\
doped
11
MORRIS KRUGMAN,
great variety of tests to help us un-
derstand children better.
show how children
Some
tests
and in Some show what
are
alike,
what ways they differ. abilities they have along certain lines. Tests of this kind can improve and strengthen an educational program. They help teachers, principals, and psychologists discover more exactly what the children in the school need.
ABILITY
The
Assistant Superintendent in Charge of Guidance, New York City Schools, New York, N. Y.
What Are
Psychological Tests?
Tests of this kind and their results are means to an end, but newer an end in themselves.
A
certain kind of test, for
course of study can then be planned to
instance, can acquaint a
meet those needs
what
as
better. Tests can serve let
them know
methods
are having.
checks for teachers, to
what
results their
When
children are not getting along
well in school, or in other ways, psychologists use tests to help find out is
wrong and what can be done about Tests can
also
ous steps
it.
is
wrong
teacher with
in a child's learning of
can lead her to conclude what needs to be done for that child, but the psychological test itself is never the remedy or the treatment. It can only point out the problem, not the way in
arithmetic.
which
it
is
It
to
be solved.
show when children
have reached the readiness stage for is
what
Ph.D.
in learning.
An example
the tests used to find out
ready to begin reading.
if
\
ari-
Who Can All
of this
a child
is
Give Tests?
ways of using
tests
the tests will be given by
assume that
someone com-
petent to work with them. In order to
62
Measuring Achievement and Ability have any meaning, the results must be
picture
properlv interpreted bv
clinical,
skillful, profes-
sionallv-trained persons.
Mental tests often seem so simple that vou might believe anvone could give them.
but a
Thcv mav look
like
nothing
series of questions or puzzles.
Actually,
tests
achievement
Many
complex.
extremely
are
and
readiness
of
on human personalitv go into the making of even the vcars of research
The questions, problems, and puzzles mav seem to have been selected at random, but vou mav be sure simplest
tests.
they were
tried
individuals
gether to
A to
out on thousands of thev were put to-
before
make up
test
posed to test. A test of readiness or achievement, or a test designed to discover some facts about personality, is a carefully designed scries of psychological experiments. It must ahvavs be used under the carefullv regulated conditions established when it was designed. These tests mav be divided roughlv
two
on the
types,
basis of the
way
thev are used. First, there are those to be used onlv bv psvchologists, because special training
is
needed to interpret
the results. These are generally
known
as clinical tests, or individual tests, be-
cause thev usuallv are given bv psvchologists in a clinic, to
one person
at a time.
Then, there arc those tests that can be used bv persons like teachers, with psychology. This kind of
less training in
test
is
called a group achievement, or in-
Sometimes
telligence, test.
survev
test, for it
it is
can be given to
called a a
num-
be used when there is a special problem. Thcv are onlv approximated correct, at best.
tests
serve limited purposes,
and
give a general idea of the person's level
on the kind of ability being tested. When a special problem arises, we cannot rely on group-test results. Nevertheless, group tests are useful in schools,
there are almost never
since
enough psvchologists
available to test
each child individually. Usuallv.
when
group-test results are available
several
one child, and thev agree closely, we can place some degree of reliance on the for
Then, if we add to this the teacher's judgment and the school record, and if all agree, we can be much more certain of the test results. If they do not agree, individual tests are necessary.
What Does
Tests Tell?
do not give
as
good
a
"Interpretation of Tests"
Psychological
tests
usually
Mean?
vield
a
one kind or another, expressed in numbers. The score means little in itself. The important thing is what the score tells us about the child being tested. Putting meaning into the scoring translating it into what the child is, what he can do, what his weaknesses may be, and what he needs for his best development is called an "interpretascore of
—
—
tion" of test results.
Whenever
possible,
done bv
tion should be
someone
or bv
test
interpreta-
a psvchologist,
specially trained.
children with the same test scores
have
different
abilities
and
Two mav
different
needs.
tvpe of
test,
the intelligence
test,
measures learning abilitv. An intelligence test measures how a mind works in a great many ways. Abilitv to
reallv
Group
Thev
One
ber of persons at one time.
What Do Group
one individual as the or individual, tests and cannot
results.
a test.
must be constantlv adjusted, make certain it tests what it is sup-
into
of anv
Childcrai
6.
use words, to reason about ideas, to rea-
mental
abilities, are
measured
case.
in in-
children with the same test one score, may be superior, let us say, in ability to use words and to reason about ideas, but poor in some of the other mental abilities. The other child may be just the reverse on each of these counts. easy to see. then, that
if
we
relied
on the test score only we could not plan an adequate educational program for a child. We must know what made up the
We can know this onlv
test score is interpreted
tent to understand
if
the
bv one compe-
Psvchologists are trained to deal
with children so that they will get the best response from them. If testing is done bv a qualified psvehologist. chil-
dren do not even realize that thev have been tested. An eight-\ ear-old boy who
w ell-trained profesperson asked when he was going
had been tested by sional
a
to get the test.
your child seems worried because he did not finish a test, you can reassure him. Actually, the children are not exIf
pected to complete a circumstances.
test
under some
it.
What Can Parents' Part in Testing
When
place.
way children will behave when they are tested, and whether they will be ill at
Of two
test score.
do well are out of
demonmemory, as well is
telligenee tests.
It is
to
Parents are often concerned about the
problems involving numbers as
Admonitions
oiit
son about praetieal things, to figure strated. Several kinds of
I
Tests can
let
Tests Tell Us?
us know, to a limited ex-
worried
what a child's feelings are. or how he will behave in certain situations. Tests cannot tell us what a child is
usually because
thinking, nor can thev predict exactly
teachers or parents have
made him anxious by their conversation. Group tests taken at school can become part of the
what he will be like when he grows up. Thev do tell us. in general, what a child's reasoning powers are in specific
usual classroom activities, without fuss
fields, as in
tests are well constructed,
The
enlist a child's interest.
become
a
game.
about taking
or
special
make
When a
tests
it
emphasis.
is
child
test is
When
they
items
teachers
reasoning about ideas, in the use of words, and in concrete situations.
the tests something special, chil-
dren become worried and do not do justice to themselves. If they are treated casually, children are at ea;
In the case of individual tests, also.
the
tent only,
more
casual the situation
can be
made, the better the child will do. A child can be told he is to visit someone who is interested in him. and who may talk to him about things he likes to do.
Individual tests give far clearer pictures of a child's present ability than group tests do. and are more reliable.
Tbre* Lions
"Let's look at the rec-
ord," say skillful inter-
preters as they
weigh
the past performance, background, and wellbeing of a child with his actual test score.
U.
They some
us,
tell
of his
abilities,
level of his learning
Public Health Service
by sampling
indirectly,
many
S.
the general
powers with school
materials.
servations of the child's reactions feelings also
child
If a
adds to the test results his analysis of the child's background and record. His ob-
is
over the years,
tested a
number
we can
get a pretty
of times
We can
What
example, after getting several such
test
whether
a nine- or ten-year-old
tests.
boy or
girl will
be able to do college-
harm,
work in high school, or whether some other high-school course would be better for that child. preparatory
We can tell approximately how much of
it
he
will use.
Many
really like.
how
conditions
Is
an "Intelligence Quotient"? tend to place too
much
on the results of intelligence This mistaken practice can lead to
reliance
results,
much
is
Many persons
for
tell,
learning ability a child has, but not
a child
for a clearer picture
good
idea of the level of schooling he proba-
bly will be able to take.
what
of
make
and
for
it
gives a false impression of
the finality and exactness of intelligencetest scores.
(I.Q.)
is
The
merely
Intelligence Quotient a
comparison of the
child's intelligence-test score,
his
mental age, with
test score
is
known as The
his actual age.
onlv an approximation.
It
can be disturbed by a child's health, his willingness to take the tests, his understanding of language, his feelings, and
tend to reduce the actual learning, even when the learning power may be present. If a child becomes ill, or develops poor vision or hearing, learning may be temporarily hampered. If he becomes
what happened to him at home or on his way to school that day, or even by
disturbed emotionally, or
the
situation arises for
not
up
live
him
at
if
a difficult
in
skillful
needed child.
A
are
some
of the reasons
why
interpretation of test scores for
the
best
interests
of the tester.
cannot, therefore, take too
ously any single I.O., even
mined by
reaching his learning level.
These
We
home, he may
to his earlier promise
skill
of
is
is
deter-
much
safer
to use the I.Q. along with all other in-
formation
The
the
trained psychologist frequently
a psychologist. It
if it is
seri-
part of
65
we can
gather about a child.
intelligence test measures onlv a
what the psychologist
calls in-
Brilliant is
as brilliant does,
for
high
test scores do not always mean ability to cope sensibly with everyday life.
telligence. I.O.'s
Sonic
have high school, but do
children
and are '"smart"
in
not shine outside school. Other children are quite the opposite.
When
Are Intelligence Tests Useful?
Up to about much weaker
the age of seven, tests arc
measuring instruments than from seven to about fifteen years of age. Young children who have had a variety
of
as
experiences at home,
who
have been corrected, he will probablv show a higher score some vears
ditions
have heard a good deal of conversation or have been with older children, may temporarilv test higher than thev reallv are. More of the test problems for the
later.
depend on what a child has learned at home. Children from homes where parents are too busv to talk to them much, or to give them appropriate, interesting experiences, may do less well on a test than thev will later when school and play with other boys and girls have en-
work with tests use this fact of lowered score on retesting as a warning signal. They look into the situation to see what has gone wrong.
riched their
schools,
early ages
lives.
Testing the
Manv kinds telligence
These
Can
"I.Q.'s"
For
Change?
same wav.
In the
a child
may
test
lower in later vears because something has arisen to disturb him. Those who
Whole Child
of tests, in addition to in-
tests,
achievement
tell
us
used
are
tests are
how much
learned in a given
today.
field,
a
In
common. child has
such as reading,
a majority of children,
the test
arithmetic,
show the superior
child to
and almost even" other subject area These tests usuallv deal with a single abilitv rather than manv complex abilities. Thev indicate what a child is doing at the time of testing. For these reasons, we can place more reliance upon them than upon group intelli-
results will
be superior on repeated tests. The average child will remain average, and the slower child will test as slower. These conclusions hold true for a majority of children, but there are many exceptions. Again, a few points one way or the other on the score do not tell the story. A child's score may have been too low because he had been ill. did not read well, or did not see or hear well. Other disturbing conditions may have interfered at the time of testing. If those con-
social
science,
general
sci-
ence,
of school.
gence
tests.
There are tests used mainly to deter mine the specific strengths or weaknesses children have in learning. Tlicy
make
it
possible to take definite correc-
tive steps
66
if
weaknesses
exist.
There
are
Measuring Achievement and Ability also tests of aptitude for such fields as
test score for
mechanical
ing
cal
ability, clerical ability,
ability,
artistic
talent,
musi-
and many
others.
As
ful for
children in the early years of ele-
a rule, these tests are
not use-
mentary school.
Can
Some
or feelings.
aim
Some
to
measure emotions
tests also are
designed
to giye a picture of interests, social rela-
tionships,
ments
and
of
a great
personality
ality" in general.
obtaining an understand-
child.
a
planned
series
battery,"
is
Usually,
a
carefully-
of tests, called a
used.
The
"test
psychologist takes
into consideration the results of a well-
rounded test batten and other known facts about the child. He adds his own judgment in making an interpretation of the test results. Then he can come -
Personality Be Tested?
tests
of
.6-
mam-
— even
These
tests
other
much
nearer to deyeloping a valid ap-
praisal of the
"whole"
child.
ele-
"person-
have not
Should Parents Be Told Test Scores?
The
exact results of intelligence tests
deyeloped as well as intelligence and achievement tests. They are
expressed in a score or number, like the
much
less reliable, particularly for chil-
abilities of a child. It
dren.
They
yet been
as
group
are especially questionable
tests.
There are
also individual clinical tests
by the expert psychologist only. They have some merit if they are used in combination with many other ways of judging personality, behavior, and emotions. In the case of all these tests, no reputable psychologist relics on any single in this field.
These
are to be used
I.O., giye us
only a limited idea of the
not considered good practice to talk about a child in terms of the exact score. It is quite possible that, although one child has a somewhat lower score on a test than another, the interpretation of that lower score may indicate that he has greater possibilities than the other. It would be just as misleading to draw conclusions about the general health of a child from his height or his weight as it is to draw is
Press Syndicate
When
a youngster does
not take part in discus-
never shows an interest in what goes sions,
on, testing is in order.
Childcraft
68
conclusions about a child's personality
readiness and achievement. Parents can
from
frequently guide
a single score.
Any child has many strengths and many weaknesses. Frequently, the balance between his many abilities and disabilities is much more important than the amount of each, when measured by tests. Then, too, one child may use relatively
moderate
fullest
Another child may be endowed with the same abilities,
talents better,
and
knowing
clinics
a test score
usually
feci
that
would not be so knowing many
helpful to a parent as
other things about his child. Should a Child Have Special Tests?
Except
for the small rural schools,
it
rare
whether there child tested bv
teacher,
have a
Tests Plus Other Evidence
Important decisions or plans for any change in a child's life should never be made on the evidence of test results alone, and certainly never on the result of one test.
Those who work with tests coming increasingly convinced
gram
is
of teaching
of the
of
the
different aspects
and guidance
whole child
The light
is
a picture
necessary.
child's school record will throw-
on how he
is
progressing. Talking
things over with his teachers will add a great deal to a parent's understanding.
a clinic or a pri-
For teachers, talking things over with parents
In general, testing should be sought a child
many
are be-
any reason to
is
vate psychologist.
if
may
of a child's personality, for in any pro-
today for schools not to have some testing program. If a school does not have such a program, parents can judge for themselves, or discuss with the
is
basis of test results.
be useful whenever a child seems to differ markedly from his age group in learning, behavior, or adjustment, either bv being far ahead or far behind his group.
value of testing
When
using those
nearly to the
abilities
but conditions may interfere with his use of them. For all these reasons, schools
on the
in
Tests given by a skilled professional
extent.
richly
them
failing to learn well, or
if
If a
is
always valuable.
problem turns out to be
or of long
serious,
then specialized guidance counselor, a psy-
duration,
demonstrating marked sua periority to his age group. Children who arc clearly worried, unhappy, or unable to get along in school also should be examined to determine whether too much is being expected of them. A child
help from
who
Tests will help us arrive at a concluwhat kind of help is needed. They can be most valuable if we under-
child
is
continually tired,
is
listless,
and un-
interested in everything should also be
examined psychologically, after thorough medical examination. No child should be placed in a special slow learners without an appropriate mental test. Children showing unusual interests, or interests beyond
class
their
for
and children with can often benefit from
years,
talents
special tests of
a
chologist, a doctor, a social worker, or, in
some
instances, a psychiatrist,
added. Hie chapter Services, in Volume
about
may be
Family Guidance 5, has more to sav 1
this.
sion about
stand that they are a useful tool in the hands of people trained to use them.
Then their well-interpreted findings may be a definite help in developing happy children, able to get along with others and to stand on their
healthy,
own
feet.
THE WORLD OF KNOWLEDGE
aBMHHiBB RCS
Studioe
22.
WHAT READING MEANS TO A
23.
THE ART OF SPELLING
24.
WRITING AND SPEAKING THE LANGUAGE
25.
EXPERIENCES WITH NUMBERS
26.
DISCOVERING THE WORLD OF SCIENCE
27.
HOW WE
LIVE
In the
CHILD
TOGETHER
first
four or five grades, children learn
to read, to spell, to write, to speak the language
and to understand simple number combinaThev also learn something about the world around them and the people who live in it. Each
easily,
tions.
school presents material in a slightly different way.
you understand what these subjects mean and the broad principles involved in presenting them, it is easier for vou to co-operate with your child's teachers. It
to a child,
There at
home
are
manv
experiences vou can provide
that will help vour child with his school
work, whether he is doing extremely well, getting along satisfactorily, or falling short. You may be sur-
when vou
vour child's teacher. that the ways vou can help vour child most are bv building his self-confidence. This is done bv giving
prised to find,
him he
is
talk to
varied, interesting experiences related to
doing
in school.
what
Suzanne Szasz
WHAT READING MEANS TO A A.
STERL ARTLEY,
CHILD
Ph.D. Mo.
Professor of Education, University of Missouri, Columbia,
earning to read is an important milestone in growing up. Young chilI* dren learn chiefly through firsthand experiences. As they grow older, they need to supplement their own direct experiences with what they can get "second hand" through reading, for reading
no small part on the kinds of reading experiences he has had before he enters school. If he has had the opportunity to enjoy, over and over again, favorite bedtime stories, and if he has seen his father and mother read newspapers and books,
extends the range of experience. Through the recorded experiences of others, read-
ment.
ing
makes
it
possible for children
to
reading seems like a worth-while achieveIt
children
is,
of course, important that
know how
to read,
and that
they be given opportunities to find
satis-
about things they cannot see, hear, or touch. Reading is the cornerstone of all the school subjects. It is an essential ability needed in all school work. Progress in many phases of learning rests on the ability to understand the meaning
and pleasures through reading. To the boy or girl who lives in a home where there is little reading, and where other activities compete heavily for his
of printed words.
become
learn
What
Preparation for Reading?
WTiether reading
is
to be a genuine
satisfaction in the child's life
depends
in
factions
leisuretime, reading never has a chance
to count for
much.
All children
do not
avid readers.
Because you have a direct interest in the progress your child makes in school, vou mav wonder what you can do to prepare him for reading. The kind of
71
"Slide" will be an easier word for these youngsters to read, because they know what sliding means.
background that
be helpful
will
cussed in detail in the chapter
is
dis-
Will My
Child Be Ready for First Grade?,
Volume
in
13.
What Does
Take
It
to
Read?
Reading is more than learning to recognize and call out words. Reading is a thinking process. As he reads, a child must hold in mind a scries of words in their order. Then he can sec their relationships and get their meanings. Read-
Lucien Aigner
ing calls for a certain degree of ability to
focus the eves. as
ability
Some
early
children have this
four years
as
Others, equally gifted mentally,
of
age.
may not
about the age of eight. The ability to nay attention and the ability to work in a group are important attain
it
until
parts of learning to read.
A
child
Thinking and problem-solving require effort and the expenditure of encrgv, but worrying saps that energv. The child who is beset with undue anxieties
coalbin.
simplv has not sufficient energy left over to devote to the job of learning to read.
The
must
child's general health, vision,
and
also have had experiences that provide a wide vocabulary. Those children who
hearing have a direct bearing on the
come
has
to
first
grade vary greatly in the
degree to which these abilities are developed. Each must grow at his
own pace
toward the point where reading will come without strain. The period of attaining this degree of maturity and these skills
we
call
the
"reading-readiness
of
In order to give sustained attention
and to show enthusiasm, a child should be free from worries. The child who is unduly concerned over his mother's illdeath of his pet
is
in
of work, or the
no mental
state to
He cannot enjoy the story about the white rabbit who fell into the
concentrate.
The child who and who readily
learns.
colds
catches infectious diseases will be absent
from school
a great deal.
He
will
less
when he
able to give sustained attention is
be
there.
Experience
—a Stimulus
— spoken
to
Reading
or written
—remain
mere words unless thev have meaning to the child. The word slide will be quite
Mind and Good Health
ness, his father's loss
frequent
Words
stage" of our school program.
Peace
way the youngster
meaningless unless the youngster has played on a slide, slid down one, and felt the sudden bounce at the end. In the
same way, children need a rich background of experiences with pets and toys, with tools and housekeeping equipment. They need to play dress-up, to make valentines, to have other experi1-2
What
Reading Means to a Child
ences that are appropriate and satisfying. Trips to the post office or factorv
to
watch
office,
the zoo, the
where Father works, or
trains or boats, contribute to
readiness
for
reading.
who
Children
have not had such experiences are often the ones who are slower in getting started in reading. Both parents and schools can provide these kinds of excursions. Stories that grow out of these experiences often are the basis for reading lessons in the classroom. Reading
can bring new attitudes, too. A child needs the mental maturity of an average six-vear-old in order to grasp what letters stand for. Until he has reached that stage of maturity, it is a detriment to the child to expect him to learn to read. Development cannot be forced.
Reading
Is
a Means
to
an End
Graduallv, Susie, Phil, Janie. and the rest are well on their way toward reading success.
The
varietv
worn"
of
methods.
vour first-grader reads without knowing the alphabet, or is not learning to sound words. There are other ways of if
learning reading.
become more skillful in reading by phrases. Thev develop the courage to tackle new words. Then recognizing the words and making the proper movements of the eves become Children
routine,
the author's ideas and create in their
moving picture, rich in detail of sight and sound, and even of touch, taste, and smell. The growing child capitalizes on his newly acquired mind's eve
a rapidly
he reads increasingly difficult material for information and enjovment.
ability as
Though
the mastery of reading
skills
important to the voung child, vou must never lose sight of the fact that. actually, reading is onlv a means to an end. That end may be information or new ideas. At times it is pure enjovment. In order to give children an idea of the many different kinds of reading matter there are, schools todav do not limit is
reading to school readers.
may
start their
The
children
reading with signs and
on familiar objects in the room. Thev read stories which thev have dictated to the teacher and she has printed in large letters on charts. Then come primers, readers, and labels
teacher has probablv used
Sometimes a teacher uses different methods with different children, for she has found that some learn better through their eves and some through their ears. Do not
a
173
and the purpose of reading be-
comes important
to them.
Thev
follow
Reading takes energy, and if energy is sapped by worry about one's place in the family, learning to read
is
hard.
Elizabeth Hibbs
Pleasant associations with books and stories are a good foundation desire
the
for
readiness
to
and
learn
to
read.
Elizabeth Hibbs
coycrs that he
storybooks. In later years there will be
simple
Reference
magazines.
books geared to grade-school ability, and a wide variety of other materials will be
satisfactorily.
used, too.
then for them.
Some
Reading
reads.
getting along quite
children encounter mechanical
difficulties.
he Difficulties in
is
Jane
calls was, saw.
Jean says
Tim
omits some words as points with his finger to Bill
children learn to read easily
each word. Difficulties like these are the "growing pains" of learning to read.
and fluently. Some difficulties may be thought of as normal, because they are
Early stages of learning to read inyolve much lost motion, mistakes, and
neither unusual nor difficult to correct
unpolished performance,
Not
all
if
recognized early.
There
is
Sally
who was progressing who was out of school
until her teacher
helped to
fill
With
in all the
of
communication.
in himself.
there
is
Michael whose learning
somewhat slower than the
rate
is
age.
He, along with
fi\c or six
who
aver-
read. But,
own
having difficulty
when
in
Some
new method
He gams
confidence
schools have classes for
did not learn to read well in the
primary grades. Such classes are excellent for children who de\clop more slowly
others in
work in the pre-primer somewhat later than the other children. If Michaels mother compares him with the average child, who nun be several months ahead of him, it would appear is
the
children in the upper elementary grades
the group, begins
that he
or
practice
to feel at ease with this
gaps.
Or
playing tennis
in
do the
and careful guidance, a child eventually comes through in fine shape. As he de\elops, he comes piano.
but with the measles for several weeks. After she returned, the going was a bit rough satisfactorily,
his
stages
early
just as
and get behind
their group.
Some Difficulties Go Deeper Sometimes a child has
difficulty
in
learning to
learning to read because fears or worries
him with
keep him from using his energies wholeheartedly. If your child has normal in-
she compares
potential for learning, she dis-
1_
4
What telligence,
if
no surface
Reading Means to a Child seem worth
difficulties
to be standing in his way,
is
it
considering what can be worrying him.
Sometimes a rearrangement of routines and relationships can help. More time to have Mother or Father to himself "just for fun" is a remedv worth trying. Take a look at his relationships with his brothers and sisters. Feelings about newbabies or older sisters or brothers have
often stood in the
way
of a
or
first-
175
remedial-reading teacher,
if
there
is
one,
or even with the principal. Is Carol getting enough sleep? Is she spending too much time watching television or going to the movies, so that she has neither incentive nor energy for other worth-while activities? Or is worry, fear, or tension blocking her ability to strike out boldly in learning? For, make
no mistake, reading takes courage
to
learn.
second-grader's learning to read.
You and
may be
the teacher
able to
help your child overcome his worries. little,
do not
hesitate to get skilled professional help.
This
is
clinics
one spot where child-guidance and reading clinics have been
Going
gratifyingly successful.
to a child-
guidance clinic is not a sign that vou have failed. It is just a sign that you have the sense to keep a problem from becoming serious. The chapter Family
Guidance Services,
in
Volume
will
1 5,
In their eagerness to help,
If
the best efforts of you and the teacher
seem to be accomplishing
Be a Parent, Not a Drillmaster
suggest where to look for qualified help.
ask,
"Can't
Wouldn't
I
do something
extra practice help
at
parents
home?
my child?"
Teachers will almost invariably discourage such tutoring. Teaching reading is
a
highly
training
specialized
job,
requiring
and experience. Far more
is
involved than listening to a child read aloud and telling him the words he does not know-. Teaching a child to read is as
much
a professional task as treating a
case of appendicitis.
home
Well-intentioned remedies can be harmful in either
case.
How Can
Parents Help?
in untangling the threads of a difficulty
You may not be the best tutor for your child, for you may be too close to vour own youngster. Just because vou care for him so deeply and are so eager for him to succeed, you may have less patience than his teacher would have. Just because your child wants desperately to please you, he may not do as well when you are coaching him. Practice sessions between parent and child are likely to be punctuated with, "Johnny, I told you that word only a minute ago. I just can't see why you can't remember," until vou are dis-
and deciding where the root
traught and Johnny
If
your child
reading, the
do
is
first
having
difficulties
ficulties
valuable.
with
thing you will want to
to consult his teacher.
the child and
She knows
knows what reading
dif-
mean,
so her help will be in-
Her
training helps her spot
difficulties as
how
is
they appear. She will
know
to handle the surface difficulties.
She is equally well trained to know when a problem is beyond her, and to rec-
ommend someone who help.
But she often needs your
trouble tant,
to
can give special
lies.
Since reading
you may
talk
over
find
it
is
assistance
of
the
is
tearful.
so impor-
necessary, also,
your problem with the
Enriching Backgrounds
There are ways you can help your
Childcraft
76
become
child
a
better reader, without
A
boy or girl needs a rich vocabulary of words to use in speaking. Children learn most readily to read words that are familiar. All the experiences a child has had, the things he has seen and used, the pictures he has looked at give him a background of meanings as well as words. It has been emphasized that an understanding of meanings is part of reading readiness. All through his school days, widening drilling
him.
experiences will tend to reinforce inter-
m. and
est
ability to grasp, reading
ma-
want
work
Again, von with vour child's teacher. If there are specific things you can do to give your child practice in reading, she will know will
to
closely
what those things may be, and she can direct you in giving help. Challenging Rapid Learners
Some bovs and
girls
learn
more
rapidly
than others. All through school the}" cover the material assigned more quickly
than their classmates do. Then what happens? In
many
cases
learners
find
and indifference to much of the school program. He had read all the tience,
books
his
vided.
There were no materials school that opened up
teacher or his parents proat
home
to
him
further vistas of the fascinating world.
No
one challenged him to make use of his keen intellect. But a teacher in our modern schools trained to spot these rapid learners,
and to challenge them of their potentialities. their
Balanced Fare
for
to
Rapid Learners
there any kind of experience that
Is
home for the who is far ahead of his class? You can give vour child encourage-
parents can provide at child
ment
in the
interests.
music,
development of worth-while
Making
dancing,
woodworking,
all
collections, painting,
gardening,
make
full
use
She can enrich
programs and give them plentv of
cooking,
happy ways
are
using leisuretimc. That docs not six-
and
in
of
mean
any of these for the These activities
seven-year-olds.
stimulate purposeful
grow
children
older,
reading,
As
too.
such hobbies
as
stamp collecting, and modelmaking will be worth encouraging. More mature reading interests of the bright child can be met only if he is surrounded bv a varietv of reading ma photography,
The
Volumes 1 through 11 of Childcraft will be a source of pleasure to these children. The terials.
material
chapter Building a
themselves time on their thoroughly bored, with hands. Paul was one of these children. His boredom was expressed in imparapid
these
is
powers of observation.
formal lessons
terial.
or at
opportunity for varied and profitable experiences. She can help them use their
in
Home
Library, in
Volume 12, will have suggestions, too. An encyclopedia specially designed for voung people
is
particularly good, for
it
has information on a variety of topics.
But an eager reader does not necessarily read good books and magazines. Comic books and the unstimulating scries type of books may become the diet, unless vou guide in the selection of interesting and worth-while materials. Librarians and teachers mav be helpful, too. They will be able to suggest materials that
level
and
parallel the child's reading
relate to his
budding
interests.
Your eager reader needs balanced
—good and
a
fare
books, vigorous outdoor play, chance to use his hands as well
as his head.
THE ART
OF SPELLING ERNEST HORN,
Ph.D.
Emeritus Professor of Education, State University of Iowa, Iowa City
teaching have been thirty
years.
come about pelling
an important tool that all children will use throughout life. Teaching spelling is a co-operative enterprise that challenges parents and teachers. The good speller has an advantage over the poor speller in school, in the business world, and in many is
s
made
in
the
last
Some changes may have
you went to school. These changes sometimes lead to mistaken ideas about the place of spelling in
modern
since
schools.
Scientific
studv of the problems in
spelling has greatlv increased our knowl-
how spelling may be taught most efficiently. One of the most important
edge of
contributions of research in spelling has
phases of everyday living. You can contribute to the spelling
been the selection of words to be learned.
achievement of vour child if he is making normal or even superior progress. If he is having special difficulties, vour co-operation becomes even more impor-
Why
tant.
more
Are So Few Words Taught?
Modern spellers do not contain nearlv so many words as those of earlier periods, but this smaller number of words nearly meets the everyday needs of
the child in writing, both in school and
Progress in Teaching Spelling
important
world outside. The older spelling books contained mam' words written seldom, if ever, either by children or by adults. How often do you, for example,
changes in the content and methods of
ever use reflux, phthisic, and coniuma-
The
thing you can do a clear idea of the way spelling in
first
modern
schools.
Many
is
to get
is
taught
in the
177
Childcrai
178
1
famous Webster's blue-backed are such words as wot, asp. dolt, cyst, and sago. In contrast, the early lessons of modern spellers are made up of such words as dear, mother, write, and Christmas words universally written by both children and adults.
arrangement disclosed some interesting facts. It was found, for example, that /. the, and and. with their repetitions, made up 10 per cent of the 5,000,000 words tabulated. This means that in adult writing one of these three words is found, on the average, every tenth word on a page. The ten words most frequently used
How
are:
lessons of the
cious? In even the earl)
speller
—
Are the Words Chosen?
The selection of words for the earlier spelling books was largely a matter of guesswork. At that time, no one had taken the pains to find out what words are most often needed in writing. In contrast, the words in modern spelling books are selected from a tabulation of the words most frequently found in the writing of children and adults. In one investigation, more than 5,000,000 running words were tabulated, from every important type of adult writing. lliese words were then arranged in order of frequency, with the word most often used placed at the top. This
I
a
in
the
vou
we
and
of
for
to
These words, with their repetitions, make up about 25 per cent of adult writing.
500 words most frequently used make up more than -5 per cent of the running words of adult writSimilarly,
the
ing. Practically all these
500 words are
simple words that children, as well as adults, use frequently.
What Words Do
Children Use?
Extensive counts also have been Press Syndicate
made
words children use in speaking, the words they write in their early letters and themes, and the words they read. Although children vary in the number and nature of the words they use, the vast majority of normal children. e\'en at the age of six. have a vocabulary of several thousand words. One father jokingly remarked that the two words children use most frequently in their writing are "send" and "bring." At least, he said, those words always figured in the letters he had from his of the
children!
As
children gain ability to recognize new words, they are learning to spell without realizing what is happening.
A
Words used
The
fifty
and everyday writing make
in social studies, science, arithmetic,
up the spelling lesson these days. Spelling
words most
likely
to
be
ties in
with everyday schoolwork.
running words
written by young children are:
How
the
my
me
I
are
with
and
he
am
out go but this
If
you
in writing of all kinds.
Spelling
visit a
Taught
Is
school today, you will
probably be impressed by certain differences between the methods now used in teaching spelling and the methods used
to
for
all
a
on
one
dear
YOU
they
so
some
we
that
vour got
then going
differences are of degree rather than of
there
up
kind, for a few of the better teachers
when you were
in school.
Most
of these
in
had
it
of
she very
went
time
have been using for some time some of
is
will
not
get
the methods
was have
when
at
school
like
By comparing
the words used most
frequently by children of a given age
with those used most frequently bv adults. it is possible to select words for any age that are useful to children for both their present and future needs.
now commonly employed
in schools.
You need not be concerned child lessons 111
does in
modern
not have the
first
schools
formal
grade. is
to
if
your
spelling
Tire
trend
postpone the
teaching of spelling in a special period until the last part of the
first
grade or
three or four thousand words by the
even until the second grade. Spelling is taught in a variety of ways in today's schools. Beginning with the
end of the eighth grade. Four thousand words make up nearly 98 per cent of the
second grade, most schools teach spelling systematically through the use of
Under
this plan
it
is
possible to teach
179
ClIII.DCRAl
iSo
and
lists
exercises
in
spellers.
Some
schools use spellers but also teach an additional list of words winch children
need from time to time in their writing. Main words are learned in connection with
use
their
reading,
in
studies, in science, in in
in
social
number work, and
mam
Still
other activities of the school. other schools limit the teaching of
words needed from time to the writing which children are
spelling to
time
in
I
to attend
Written spelling lessons give each child the opportunity to spell each word.
The method
is
more thorough
as well as
special
program, or when
children of one grade write to the chil-
dren of other grades asking them to co-operate in some school enterprise, correct spelling ters are
is
clearly necessary. Let-
sometimes written to business
firms, asking for permission to visit or
thanking them for a
visit
that has been
made. Many schools have a bulletin board upon which notices or news items prepared by the children are posted.
Some
doing.
some
mimeograph a newsletter for pupils and parents. Children are encouraged to write poems and stories. Here is a letter written bv a schools print or
better adapted to the individual needs of
third-grade bov to a classmate
children.
sick at
Considerable emphasis now- is placed on teaching pupils how to study spelling independently. Since there will always be some words anv particular child will
need to give special attention to learning, the development of efficient methods of studying
is
The need
to spell
as letters are
are sick at
away.
When
Dear George,
W W clip
vou are sick. have been making candles.
e are sorrv e
candles.
The mold
We
made mold
becomes more
vivid
madetoo.
candles were better than the dip Lovingly, Earl
is
a
news item prepared bv
first-
grade pupils.
who who have moved
\\ e
parents are invited bv letter
Wc
or
We
candles,
candles.
Here
written to classmates
home,
home.
essential.
Spelling Proves Valuable
who was
wanted
Mrs. Brown
made
to set a hen. let us
have
a
hen.
a nest for her.
University Elementary School. State University of Iowa
Spelling is easier for those who read readily. Most schools do not start lessons in spelling until second grade.
The Art of Spelling
We We
put twelve eggs in it. put her on the nest. She wouldn't set. She ran away. The joke was on us.
A
strongest influences in keeping the child interested in spelling.
spelling.
The Second Grade was
discussing the rules
Wc
Student Council. thought some of you might have forgotten for the use of slides in
some them 1.
we
of the rules, so
making
arc
Wc \\ c
4.
We is
frequently helped bv
teachers in special remedial periods.
You
can encourage children to feel grateful for any extra time that the teacher spends with them to help them succeed in their work.
Good
Spelling
You
do not catch
a
anyone who
at
is
slide.
when we come down
do not make
poem by
Frost candles on
trains
on the
slide.
a third-grade child.
my windowpane
Are darkened dy the night; But in the morning sunshine comes And makes them flame as light.
Bobby T. is
are
Parents Foster
sit forward the slide.
3.
This
easy to see that a child will want
to learn to spell in order to share in these
interesting enterprises. In
most
schools,
such writing does not take the place of spelling lessons, but for spelling
and
it
furnishes a reason
also
provides for the
application of spelling is
spelling
stand away from the foot of the
coming down the
It
ter
a list of
slide. 2.
is usually only fifteen or twenty minutes a day. For many children, this is enough. Children who need extra time to mas-
for each grade.
Wc
of
school time set aside for formal spelling
prepared by a group of second-grade children for using the slide on the playground and sent to each primary room, shows another use of that
—
The amount
periods
set of rules,
valuable tool
181
skill as fast as it
developed.
can reinforce the spelling program at school through your own attitude, and the activities you provide. The first thing to do is to get acquainted with your child's teacher and find out howshe teaches spelling. It would confuse your child if you worked at cross purposes with the school.
It is
important
you to know what book, if any, is used, what methods of teaching are recommended, and what system of writfor
ing
is
used.
You will want to know, of course, what progress a child is making in spelling.
You may
feel
but he may be expected of him speller,
your child is a poor be doing all that can at his age.
The chapters Will My Child Be Ready for Firsl Grade?, in Volume 1 3, and What Reading Means to a Child, volume, give practical suggestions for giving a child the kind of experiences that help him in learning to read. These experiences are a good background for in this
Providing for Varying Ability
The modern tries to
school recognizes and
provide for individual differences
in spelling ability.
Each
child
is
encour-
aged to compete with himself rather than with other pupils. His attention is constantly kept on the idea of making the best progress he can. The realization that he is making progress is one of the
spelling, too.
Systematic work in spelling
is
ordi-
begun before the second half the first grade. Many schools do not
narily not
of
begin spelling until the second grade. Do not try to "jump the gun." At all times it
and messages, and lists, invitations signs and labels offer Letters
opportunity for spelling practice at home.
J.
important to work with your child's teacher. Let her tell you what she wants you to do and how she wants you to is
do
it,
if
special practice
you
is
in order.
Of
be interested in the progress your child makes, but nagging him about it will not help either his spelling, his attitude toward school, or his relationship with you.
course,
will
W. McManigal
you think you have learned the word. try to write the word. Compare the word that you have written with that in the book to see if you have spelled it correctly. If you have made any mistakes, go through the first four steps again, until you arc sure that you have learned the word. until 6.
Now
Encouraging Poor Spellers
Everything that vou can do to give a child self-confidence
and
satisfaction will
contribute to his ability to tackle spellHelping Your Child Spell
him
in finding
out
how to study The following
effec-
by himself. steps will help him, whether he works alone or whether you listen to him or correct tively
his written practice. i. 2.
Look Look
The chapters What Children Need from Life and Each Child Is Different, in Volume 12, have some ing problems.
At some point, your child will probably ask you to help him with his spelling lesson. This is a good chance to let him see that you are interested in his school work. At the same time you can guide
at the word.
Say it to yourself. at the word. Pronounce it. Say
good basic suggestions bearing on
There
Close your eyes. See the word. Try to see the word as you say the letters. 4. Open your eyes and look at the word to see if you spelled it correctly. 5.
Repeat these four steps over and again
are a
number
your child
of things to look
having spelling difficulty. Have his eyesight and hearing been checked by the doctor recently? Even a slight defect in seeing or hearing might be a source of trouble. Speech difficulties might be a cause of trouble, for
if
is
too.
the letters. 3.
this
point.
at
Docs he have a measure of success in least some activities? Is he accepted
for himself, as
he
is,
or
is
he unfavorably
compared to other children in the family who happen to do better? Is he given a .82
The Art or Spelling he has the capacity to learn? Feelings can have a great influence on
feeling that
all
kinds of learning. Satisfy yourself
first
that this young-
physical
Children will make more effort to learn to spell if they see immediate ad\antages in it. One big advantage, of course, is the feeling of achieyement a child gets when he does something well. Another good reason for working at spelling can be the approyal Mother and Father give. Even the slightest degree of progress your child makes should be
You
can create occasions for writing at home. Letters, messages, lists, and reminders for the family bulletin board give satisfactory opportunities for try-
ing to write and spell.
not make writing a burden.
One
Love.
writing brings satisfaction, and
if
he is allowed to experiment, even though he makes mistakes. Stimulating Superior Spellers
vour child
If
vou
speller,
touch with his
naturally a first-rate
is
want to keep in teacher. She can help you
will
still
wavs to challenge your spelling champion. One of the things vou can do at home is to give the bov or girl
who
spells well
many
opportunities
and poems he has heard or made up. These can be of to write letters, or stories
increasing difficulty.
Schools trv to give extra experiences that use spelling
dren
and writing
to the chil-
who can profit bv them. You can many occasions at home, too, such thank-vou notes, invitations, and telephone messages, or set-
as writing diaries,
ting
down
family plans. Actually,
many
vou would use to encourage a weak speller can be used in more advanced forms to enrich the spelling of the wavs
who
the
finds
word games, such as finding how many small words he can kinds
make out
of
of the letters in a long word,
will challenge
Mary
earlv
lessons
in
and delight the nine- or
ten-vear-old child
something of a trial for a first-grade child, and particularly for this child, who was below average in writing and spelling ability. It took courage. With all its faults, that letter is an achievement! To have been required to learn to spell all the words and to write the letter over might well have discouraged future efforts. writing of such a letter
the
tend to grow-
will
if
All
wint to the Jen Otrc show. It was not duble fechur. He brot his horse on the staj.
Since
He
subject easv.
We
The
will
experiences of a child
first-grade girl wrote:
Dear Grandpa. a
faster
find
praised.
Do
he
frequently,
a child writes
find interesting
that rhyme.
all
most grow gradually in
contain the words spelling ability.
and emotional health is good, and that he is free to put his energies into learning. Then you can trv some of the special devices that tend to improye spelling. Make a family game of naming words that begin with the same sound, that end with the same sound, or ster's
183
is
school
who
takes to spelling
easily.
Whatever vour child's ability, the more opportunities vou make for him to use spelling
(
especially written
1
in
everyday situations, the more meaning it will have for him. These experiences will help vou and the school realize vour goal to make spelling not just a formal study but a vital, useful skill worth
—
working to acquire.
WRITING AND SPEAKING THE LANGUAGE RUBY SCHL Curriculum Counselor. Clcncoe Public Schools. Glencoe.
1\ncuace
is
Ill
necessary for thinking or
communication. Teachers todav be" lieve that writing well and speaking
hand
well go
program
hand.
in
A
rich language
in school stimulates the chil-
dren's abilitv to think.
It
provides inter-
and many opportuniwrite, and also to listen.
esting experiences ties to talk, to
Meaning and Use
of
and
in
correctly,
both
The
writing.
is
on
in
speaking
goal in language
work, in the early grades in most schools, is to develop the children's ability to
and feelings in words. and to help them find satisfaction in talking or putting thoughts on paper. Pronunciation and vocabulary improve more when children express their ideas
express thoughts
than
when time
related I
to
is
spent
interesting
landwriting
is
grown-up world. Through the experiences vou provide, as well as through language work in school. that toe hold becomes a foothold.
in
subject
drill
un-
matter.
regarded as a means to
the
How Does Language Every
learning to use language fluently, effec-
and
hold on
toe
a
Language
In a rich program, the emphasis
tively,
an end. rather than as an end in itself. The ability to use language gives a child a fuller life now. It gives him. too,
parent
is
Develop?
familiar
with
the
stages a child goes through in learning
to talk.
Cooing and babbling
are suc-
ceeded by single words. Then come fragmentary phrases and sentences, usually about what the youngster is doing at the
moment.
in using
Each at his
Finally
child will go through these stages
own
development, and at different time during the first rate of
three or four
\
cars of his
ter
Mis Language
in
Volume
84
interest
speech to get along with others.
a slightly
ment
comes the
13,
in detail.
Is
life.
The
chap-
Rich and Fluent.
discusses this develop-
Writing and Speaking the Language who
Youngsters conversation
is
live in
homes where
who plav and who have ap-
encouraged,
with other children,
propriate materials to plav with are likclv to have a
good command
of language.
Even children who have been
express-
may slow down in their use of language when thev begin school. The new experience may absorb so much of their energv that thev talk ing themselves with ease
less for a
few months.
How
—
Language Taught?
Is
—
Language both written and spoken in most schools todav is considered
a tool necessarv for learning all
subjects. It
is
woven
in
other
and through the
8:
freedom mark the conversation of kindergarten children. Have vou ever listened to a group playing house, building with blocks, or working with wood, crayons, clay, or paints? If so, vou have undoubtedlv been amazed at the facility in talking to
each other that these
dren show. In order to preserve and further this ability to use language readily, schools provide opportunities for the children to talk freelv to
the teacher and to one
another,
primary grades. One of a bit of fun she had.
child
in
mav
the
tell
Another child may show
A
may
third
relate
how
a birthday gift.
his pet ran
grades this kind of conversation
rate lessons.
time."
member who
a letter a
when
sick
is
re-
ferred to as "sharing time" or "telling
a rule,
an informal arrangement, rather than a set period. It is
as
letter to a
and out of school. Thev write invitations when thev want to ask mothers and fathers to come to school to see what they arc doing. At school, todav, children have many opportunities to talk and to tell about things. Spontaneity, imagination, and is
away
yesterdav and was found. In the primary
classroom experience, especiallv in the earlv grades, rather than taught in sepa-
Children learn to write the class wants to write
chil-
Practice in Telling a Story
Each
child has a contribution to
make
Even the shvest up in time. For example, Bobbv, who always seemed at his level of abilitv.
child will be ready to speak
too timid to talk, brought a cocoon to school.
Bobbv and
his
daddv had found Suzanne Sza>z
They are never at a loss for words when they are working together on an undertaking that absorbs them.
She who has a tell
is
tale to
usually fluent
if
she is allowed to tell her story in her way and at her own pace.
the cocoon the evening before.
Thev
had looked up some simple information and talked about it at home. Daddy
came to school with Bobby the next morning as moral support, but did not stay. Bobbv had something important to This relieved his feeling of intense shyness and he lost himself in his in-
tell.
teresting experience.
Home
and school,
had helped Bobby to gain
together,
so
do better
Language
in his
language work.
Ties into Other Subjects
Other opportunities to exchange ideas at school come from trips around the community, to the public library, to the fire station, or to Jimmy's home to see the
new
group
puppies. Perhaps your child's
will
go to a farm near bv, or to
a part of all the
work
at school
that reading, social studies, science,
and
even arithmetic cannot be considered without it. Every lesson is an experience in developing language ability. Your child will learn how to look up
and
As part of his language work in fourth and fifth grades, he will give reports from notes or take part
m
collect material.
discussions.
Many
self-confidence. Self-confidence helps a
child to
much
effective
ways of teaching lan-
guage are in use in schools todav. The school vour child attends may not use any kind of language textbook or workbook. Skill in speaking and in writing may be developed through the programs in reading, social studies, science,
other subjects.
Some
and
schools use a lan-
guage textbook or workbook centering around the daily experiences of children.
the zoo, or just to a store. These excursions give the children ideas to talk over.
The
first-
or second-grade teacher
may
record on a large chart the stories the
group composes about these trips. These stories are used for reading practice, for there is a close relationship between reading and language. As your child gains skill in talking well, he will gain ^kill in ability
How
Penmanship Taught?
Handwriting
is
a tool children
readv to learn to write.
ence he has had
The
in
in talking
is
rich experi-
the kev to
written expression.
Handwriting requires good eve is
need
order to put their ideas on paper. When vour child finds need to communicate with others in written form, he will be
to read.
In the intermediate years, language
Is
—hand
co-ordination as well as co-ordination of
86
Hand and eye muscles must work together
new ways
in
the
Printing
easier at
in
writing.
letters
is
first.
Press Syndicate
the small muscles.
muscles
throw
may be
Your
child's
well developed.
a ball well
large
He may
and mav be able
to
build a birdhouse, but he mav have difficulty learning to write. His small-muscle
mav not be
co-ordination
readv.
takes place usuallv
when
eight vcars old. His eve
nation, cles,
a child
—hand
and co-ordination
should be readv for
around
is
co-ordi-
musthe change at of small
that time. Legibility rather than beautiful
form
is
a reasonable goal in
hand-
writing.
Why
Manuscript Writing?
In the struggle of learning to write,
Perhaps you wonder win- mainschools todav start the children with "manuscript writing" that is, printing
away. If children are expected to express themselves in writing
Manu-
on good handwriting, the development of language ability can be slowed down.
—
the letters instead of using script.
used in
grade because
script
is
much
easier for a child to learn. Also,
is
more
and
it
first
it
nearly like the print in his books,
makes
easier the
reading, from charts
books.
it is
Your
transition,
in
and blackboard to
child needs to be able to
write manuscript fairly well before he
is
readv to learn cursive, or script, writing, the form of writing you ordinarilv use.
ideas
sometimes
too soon, or
In
the
script
earlv
too
much
school
stress
vears,
is
placed
expression
through spoken words should always be the most important part of language growth. A great deal of practice in handwriting is necessary before vour child has mastered the mechanics of this tool well
enough clearlv.
When Can You Expect Him to Write? The change from manuscript to
if
flv
to record his ideas freely
But
his practice can
and
come about
through writing letters, stories, or "reports." He will tend to write better if he
8?
Childcrai
88 gets
li
is
practice this
way than
if
tedious handwriting exercises.
he does
Success in the use of language involves
By the
talking clearly as well as having some-
time your child enters, the intermediate grades, he should be able to express his ideas in words. lie should have made a beginning in expressing them in writing. Writing Must
Writing
Have a Purpose letters
to get
information,
writing reports for others to read, writing for the school newspaper, all create
an
incentive to write legibly, to spell correctly,
and to use
clear, concise
language.
Children learn any skill or any subject more readily when they find it useful. It is important for a child to have some opportunity to express his thoughts and ideas through creative writing.
Here
is
the
way
a
nine-year-old's
imagination was expressed in words.
Clouds Clouds can be anything. A plate of cream an angel with golden wings, big, big elephants tramping in the sky, or even a circus parade with fierce, fierce lions and a funny clown. If you could have a cloud, which one would vou choose, the big, big elephant tramping in the sky, or the angel passing by? But I, I cannot choose. There are too many you see. puffs or
Good Language Begins Parents play an children's language
at
Home
important part in
work
I
at school.
Your
growth in ability to express himself depends greatly upon his surroundings at home. It also depends upon his sense of belonging and of being loved, and on his being equal to things he is child's
expected to do.
Some children write left-handed. Experience has shown it is better to let them use their left hands than to insist they become right-handed.
The child who talks fluently better able to make progress in getting
thing to is
say.
along with other persons, and in expressing his feelings.
You
want
to help your child achieve this kind of success. At this age of six or seven years, he is
mimic and
will
by what he hears. What you say and how you say it affect the way he talks. He needs to hear words clearly spoken and ideas well a
is
easily influenced
expressed.
Two Languages Are Spoken at Home If more than one language is spoken in your home, your child may be much
If
slower in his use of the English language. Two languages are likely to confuse him.
He
needs many more experiences to acquaint him with the community around him. These are needed to give meaning
and understanding to the English words and expressions used by his friends at school.
What About Baby Talk?
You may become concerned
if
your
child uses baby talk for a longer period Elizabeth Hibbs
Writing and Speaking the Language of time than
is
defects.
speech
help" does not mean insisting he write for himself at this stage. If he wants to
speech
write to Grandmother, he can
to be expected or desired.
You may even consider this a defect. Few children have real Most speech problems
are learn-
what he wants
ing problems, and are not due to physical
it
impediments. Correction bv you, unless properly supervised, may make vour child self-conscious, and result in less free expression. He should have careful and patient guidance and the example of
of language.
good, clear enunciation.
him
189
You and
his
for
him. This
tell
vou
and vou can write
to say
will give
him
a freer use
When
he goes to camp, he will write to you. Do not be critical, but
letters
when
help him to see that
and writing
are poor,
understanding his
his spelling
you have
difficulty
letters.
vou work together. His teacher can help you decide whether more help is necessarv than vou and she can give, and can tell you where
of communicating, he will realize better
to find such help.
the importance of legible writing, accu-
teacher can help
There
if
is
no substitute
of writing to increase effective writing.
When
a child sees the
rate spelling,
What About Bad Language? As your child reaches the age of eight or nine, he acquires more slang, sometimes swears, and often uses words that horrifv vou. Children like to experiment
with words.
They
coin words, or adopt
terms like "goon" and "jerk." Someone may be "nerts"; someone else "a brain." When they are older, they talk in pig Latin a secret code dear to every gener-
—
it is
fun to shock adults.
If
no attention is paid to the use of this and other even more undesirable language, interest is usually lost, and vou little
it
Whether
I
Help
gradually disappearing.
My
Child Write Better?
You
can help vour child with his writing at home. But first have a conference with his teacher to find out how vou can help him. In this way vou will avoid confusing him with methods different from those used in school. If vour child is left-handed, he mav need more careful guidance.
W nile
a child
is
exceptionally good
whether he is getting along reasonably well, or whether he is having difficulty, the wavs of helpin language
ing
him
and
writing,
home or at school are much The youngster who is ahead of
at
the same.
group in language work will probably be given more difficult material
his grade
vour child is acquiring skill in handwriting, he needs your help. "Your
in
school.
The ones who ing
in
skill
need
to
reports.
tion in
Can
clear expression.
Suiting Material to Ability
or
will find
and
need and purpose
to report on, orally or in writing,
ation of children.
Thev think
for a great deal
are slower in develop-
speaking and writing
mav
work on simpler stories and But thev, too, can find satisfacwhat thev do. It would be a
mistake to think that the slower, less able child should be kept at the humdrum exercises, while only the child who shows ability, or even talent, is allowed to
do the
may find when he to
creative, interesting work.
You
that the slower child improves
has challenging opportunities practice using language in many
different
situations.
self-confidence
guage well.
if
All children
need
they are to use lan-
EXPERIENCES
WITH NUMBERS LOWRY W. HARDING, Professor of Education,
Ohio
Ph.D.
State University,
Columbus, Ohio II.
Armstrong Roberts
before he goes to school, your child
L\*g
is
gaining ideas about arith-
metic, for arithmetic
is
really a lan-
guage for describing size, and a system of counting and writing numbers. The "whole" or "part" of something, "taking apart" or "putting together," having a "few" or "main," "big" or "little" pieces are among the important ideas that have already begun to have meaning for your child by the time he is six. Before he reaches school age, the child becomes aware of conversation about money. The beginnings of measurements, quantities, and comparisons are a part of his daily life. Children want to understand numbers, just as they want to understand everything else they sec
can be explained in situations familiar to them, and developed out of live
It
it.
their needs to use
when
it.
They
taught this way. Arithmetic,
it is
as a useful
and natural part
experience,
as
it
more combinations and has
todav,
is
in
drill, in
nected with
skills
of
many
dailv
schools
value than
practical
tables learned
apart from experience. There
and even
more
learn
is
school, but
bv rote
practice, it
is
con-
the children see the
need of knowing.
"My
child
is
six
and can count
to
one
hundred, but does not understand how to put two and two together to make four." Here is a typical complaint of those who have drilled children on counting unrelated to experience.
and hear grownups using. They need to understand numbers if they are to understand what goes on around them and take their place in our number-using
does not help a child understand how numbers relate to each other. A better way is to be sure that understanding
world.
comes
How
Memorizing the names
first.
Simple groupings of build-
ing blocks or toys arc
Arithmetic
Is
Learned
Arithmetic can be fascinating to children if it is geared to their lives so they
ships a
young child can
ing can
meaning 190
come of
numbers
of
number grasp.
after children
numbers and
relation-
Memoriz-
know
the
after they ac-
Experiences with Numbers
191
tually realize the dav-bv-dav usefulness
in learning to
of the language of arithmetic.
or diyide. Today's teaching also stresses
add
or subtract, multiply
the need for a child to be ready to learn
Number Sense Develops Gradually
the material
You probablv have known small children who had trouble understanding that anv number can refer to anv object.
Why
Is
we
are trying to teach.
Arithmetic Taught Step by Step?
Certain processes in arithmetic are
more
attempts at understanding that numbers tell how many, not what kind
learned
or size of potatoes, blocks, or people, are
children are ready to grasp them. In any
First
fumbling.
usually
Gradually,
learn the difference
children
between "one" and
"two." Slowlv. they acquire notions of "threeness," of "fiyeness."
worked time he by the through these first stages goes to school. In the early grades, he will haye many experiences rich in numbers to help build his ideas. Teachers plan ahead to increase the meaning numbers haye for a child and to increase his skill in using them.
Your
child will probably have
How Is
Arithmetic Taught?
Teachers use a variety of experiences and materials to help children learn and apply the important meanings and skills in
arithmetic.
seyeral different
One
teacher
methods
may
to reach dif-
ferent children in her classroom. In schools, arithmetic
is
use
some
taught page by page
textbook and a workbook. A combination of the textbook and problems
from
a
drawn from science classes and social studies, as well as from experiences in the children's daily life, is also used by some teachers. Other schools plan the arithmetic program without using any formal textbook or workbook. The teacher who takes account of individual differences in the children in her room may be teaching arithmetic at
same Present-day teaching methods em-
two or three class.
different le\els, to the
phasize understanding, rather than
drill.
and
easily
their formal presentation
effectiyely
is
if
delayed until
cannot master multiplication and diyision until he has addition and subtraction well in hand. The number system has an orderly deyelopment. Each phase rests on the one before. case, a child
Multiplication and diyision of large numbers and fractions (beyond simple measurements) are among the processes
experience has proyed
better to
is
it
postpone. Progress in writing the digits neatly
and
in
setting
down problems
encouraged from the early grades. Children differ as much in deyelopment of arithmetic understandings as in deyelopment of their own height. Understanding is necessary before practice can aid in learning and using arithmetic. If a child cannot do multiplication, more multiplication examples and problems will not help him until he understands what it means to multiply. Time, patience, and encouragement are needed, so that children may be helped to grow normally in knowledge of num-
accurately
is
bers.
Children Live Arithmetic
Many
schools today try to teach arith-
metic through classroom experiences lated to real
life.
as
well
The
child
who
re-
has
the
"arithmetic
loyer,"
seems to learn more
satisfactorily
when
arithmetic
difficulty,
as
comes
study has listed oyer in
six
which schools proyide
to
life.
One
hundred ways for the arith-
Pints
and pounds, cups and quarts take
careful figuring, and the kitchen becomes the setting for number work.
learn dividing of
and multiplying.
canned food cost
$2. 40,
it is
case
If a
a big step
forward to figure that one can would cost io
J?
e u
u-
L
c
Everything one learns by going to the library isn't in books. The child who gets his books and returns them alone learns to take care of himself, too.
assisting
them
in
making
choices. It
is
not unusual to have a child bring a book to the librarian and say, "Miss Adams, '
will
I
like this
Miss Adams may answer, "Well, Patsv, vou liked the dog story we found last week. I think you'll like this one. too. Why don't vou trv it?" She tactfully widens interests and challenges reading skill through the books she helps the children choose.
Of
course, librarians cannot keep track even book eyerv child reads, but thev like to have children come to them for -
of
Actually, the
six-
more
visits at
these times.
and seven- and
eight-
be impressed and to abide by the necessary rules than their older brothers and sisters. Explain the library rules at home, by acting out what you do when you go to the library. Play library with the smaller children and they will get the idea of being quiet and considerate. They cannot be expected to remember always that responsibility for certain kinds of behayior goes along with library privileges. year-olds are
by the
book?"
make
the children
likely to
privilege of using the library
assistance.
Let vour child make trips to the library alone when transportation makes that possible. If getting back and forth presents a problem, perhaps several parents can join forces to take the children
Why Do Libraries Have Fines? Many parents and all children penny
fines libraries
make
find the
for overdue
Saturdays, excursions to the library with
books irksome. Unfortunately, it is the only way anyone has devised for getting books back on time! In order to avoid arguments over whose responsibility it
them
is
every week or
so. If
fathers are
home on
are a special treat.
How Can You Teach
Library Manners?
you find out what the library regulations are, you can help the children learn good library manners. They can learn to talk softly, to move slowly and If
quietly, to wait their turn at the librarian's desk,
books.
If
and
to be careful with the
certain hours are reserved for
grade-school children, you can see that
to see that a
book
is
returned,
it
mav
be helpful to keep the due date on the family bulletin board and mention it to the youngster a dav or so in advance. If he is able to go to the library alone to get books, he should be able to go alone to return them. Children can learn a great deal about responsibility and respect for public property without any preaching about it. if thev are encouraged to take good care of their
233
>
Childcrai
234
borrowed books and to get them back promptly. In almost
books have oddest puts
even
way
a
corners.
household,
library
of getting into the
Xobodv
them under the
deliberately
pile of galoshes in
the eloset or behind the radio cabinet.
where they sometimes turn out to be! You can prevent losing tempers as well as books, if you set aside a place where library books
yet, curiously
enough, that
An
is
word of praise when a book is returned on time gives a bov or girl a sense of pride in good library manners. As the children use the
are always kept.
extra
library in different ways, thev are also
taking
new and
valuable steps in inde-
nun be planned in parks or at summer bookmobile stops for regional libraries. Occasionally storv hours are planned for children under six years old. but the
more common
practice
is
a story
time
designed for the interests of the six- to ten-year-olds. That is the golden age
when
the rich body of folk tales affords
the greatest pleasure and meaning.
TV and Radio Acquaint vourself with what is being offered in your local library and make it
Story Hours Offset
possible for vour children to attend. In this age.
much
of the entertainment of-
Music loud speaker, enormous
fered to children
blared from a
is
questionable.
figures flashing across a screen, shouts,
pendence.
What Programs
at the
An vour children leam to in the library,
Library? feel at
home
they discover that there
programs planned for their enjovment. Most often these program take the form of story hours. Sometimes story hours are held once a week. In a small library thev may be put on only
are often
for special occasions, such as the Christ-
mas holiday
r
season.
Summer programs
bangs, and galloping horses are relieved by that unique experience the story
—
hour. Here
is
the personal touch, the
in-
time when literature with its most universal appeal can be presented timate to
most appreciative audience. Sleeping Beauty or Paul Bunvan. the its
Pied Piper, or the adventures of Marco Polo take on new meaning with the storyteller's interpretation. tales are
\\~hen these shared bv an informal audience
Lucien Aigoer
Help children use the public library. Explain its regulations and turn them loose to sample its varied delights.
your library loans film strips, the enfamily can enjoy them at home. What an easy solution to movie-going! If
tire
muse over
at
home, and make some
fresh discoveries for vourself.
Films and filmstrips are loaned by
many 16
The
libraries.
mm. and
projector.
films
These
of youngsters, they are doubly enjoya-
New
come
life
from
the wealth of folk literature and
mod-
ble.
characters
to
the
at
home
can be used on vour
films are available for
individuals or for groups,
shown
usually
are
library.
and are often
They
are
fre-
quently a lifesaver for children's parties, meetings children's of the clubs, Brownies or Cub packs, or SundaySchool classes. Some libraries select and list desirable radio programs for the chil-
Community
whole
ern stories that present humor, mystery,
dren.
and basic
family can enjoy are often listed here,
truth. It
is
exciting to be one
comes together on the simple basis that storytelling is one of our satisfying arts. The participation esof a group that
the
too.
Services for the House-Bound
Many
tablishes a relationship with the librar-
and the stories new world of the meaning of
events
libraries
in
different parts of
ian that nothing else will,
the countrv have direct service to the
open up
hospitals in the
a
literature to the
growing
viduals
child.
who
community
or to indi-
are confined to their
homes
for either a short illness or a long one.
Some even have
Films and Records in Libraries
Many
available for loan a ceil-
even
ing projector so that a bedridden child
communities, have phonograph records that can be borrowed for home use. These include not only musical records, but recordings of stories for the children and the entire family. Sheet music is frequentlv available for loan,
can read without sitting up or moving. The convalescent or crippled child who reads or is read to has a good key to continuing relationships with his friends. He will be more in touch with them.
well-developed
libraries,
in small
Helping You Find Information
too.
Fine pictures can sometimes be borrowed to be hung on the wall or looked at in leisure at home. Imagine how much Raphael's "Madonna of the Chair" would add to your home at Christmas time. What a gay note Raoul Duty's "Circus" could make in your children's room! See if your library does not have some good prints for vou to
Even- library will not have all the services described here, but you may be surprised at how many even the small librarv will have. In anv communitv, the library is what the citizens make it. In the best sense,
it is
bv and
for all the
mind, and that is of paramount importance in our age of complexity and tension. people.
235
It
serves the life of the
ADVENTURING
THROUGH EXCURSIONS EDWARD
G.
OLSEN,
Suzanne ^zasz
Ed.D.
PAULINE W. OLSEN, M.A.
and
Editor of "Schools in Community Education," published by the National Education Association
Formerly, Co-ordinator of Elementary Education, Bremerton, Wash., Public Schools; Chicago, 111.
Families who
day may give a child the feeling of being "special" that he needs occasionally. An outing of that kind makes a good celebration for a new achievement. It mav also go farther than any amount of lecturing or discipline toward improving the behavior of a bov or girl who has been troubled or troublesome. There tend to be fewer struggles over too much movie-going, too much radio or television listening and watching, if families spend some of their leisuretime in adventuring together.
include excursions in
self for part of a
programs find them reward-
their
ing in
many
ways.
An
activity that
everyone enjoys helps to build family Well-planned outings can solidarity. give brothers
common
and
sisters of different ages
and
common
meeting ground. The children, and sometimes the parents, too, get a new understanding of the community and the life around them. Horizons are broadened a
and new
interest
a
interests stimulated.
Values
in
Excursions
Sometimes, instead of the whole fam-
Can
going together, there are special advantages in one child going with a parent. Having Mother or Father all to himily
Different
When five, ,
36
Ages Enjoy
the
Same
the Keenes took
Susan, aged
six
and
Trip?
Phil,
a half,
aged
and Pete,
Adventuring Through Excursions aged nine, to the neighboring fire station thev thought perhaps Pete, who had been there often before, would be bored. So Mr. Keene suggested to Pete that he be the guide and make a map of the route the family was to take in getting there. Pete was also given the responsibility of
to find out
phoning the
when
fire
station
the family could
visit.
Mr. and Mrs. Keene encouraged Pete to his vounger brother some of the points to watch for when thev made the tell
In another family, a
visit to
the
of
breathless
moment when
vear-old Phil was, of course, fascinated
with the
life
of a fireman
and
lived that
his plav for the next week.
Susan,
who was an
orderlv
little per-
found the way the firemen stored their equipment more interesting than anvthing else. When she went home, son,
she tried to fold the doll's bedclothes as
air-
the
wheels disappear after a plane is in the The eight-year-old was interested in the people who fly the planes, where the planes were going, and how fast they air.
The
found the weather station most alluring, and even kept a weather chart for a few weeks flew.
ten-vear-old
afterward.
Finding Places
Because Pete was proud of being considered navigator for this venture, he did not complain that it was "babv stuff," nor was he bored during the visit. Five-
the
port fascinated the six-vear-old because
visit.
life in
237
Sometimes brings about a interest of
an trip.
to
activity
Go school
in
Sometimes
one of the children.
it
A
is
an
notice
news storv in the local paper may vou to see something new. *'A newspaper clipping started us on one of our best excursions." one mother savs. "There's a large Swedish settlement thirty miles west of here, and earlv or a
inspire
in
December thev have
nity-wide
Daw
celebration
a big
for
St.
commuLucia's
and townspeoup decorations, and evervbodv dresses in costumes of traditional Swedish designs and colors. Their parade to open the celebration is reallv wonderful. All the merchants
perfectly as the firemen folded their gar-
ple put
ments. The trip meant something different to each of the children. Each one took away different ideas, but each one enjoved it and gained something.
We
learned a lot about the contribuPublic Schools, Madison, Wis,
A
trip to the fire station
has more than passing interest,
for
children
learn about fire prevention and how the firemen protect their
community.
Let
excursions
seum be
to
zoo or mu-
leisurely. Tie
them
in
with the interest of the moment will enjoy them.
and everyone
Pinney,
Monkmeyer
Swedish people to our way of living. Since then we've gone to similar celebrations in neighboring Japanese and Italian communities."
Look around vour own community and vou may find that some of these sug-
Explore Your Neighborhood
airports
laundries
arboretums
lumber vards
bakeries
mills
bird sanctuaries
parks
brickvards
pet shops
suggest local spots of interest and value.
canneries
police departments
The newspaper
dairies
post offices
docks farms
radio stations
tions of
Every community has of interest.
Some
of
parents
may
of ideas for
of
own
points
schools have compiled
community
catalogs
its
resources
that
consult. Teachers often can
office
"where to
commerce
will
help you locate indus-
tries or factories that
Museums and
may be a source go." The chamber welcome
zoos
come
visitors.
to
thinking of excursions, but there are many other kinds of places to visit. place where Father works, or the
neighborhood where Mother, Father, or
is
interesting.
gested excursions are right at hand.
fire
mind
first in
The
grandparents once lived,
fish
stations
hatcheries
forest preserves historical
landmarks ice companies
2 38
railroad stations
or vards
ranches
telephone or telegraph offices television studios
water departments
Adventuring Through Excursions Almost even- part of the country boasts some scenic or historic spots, some place where blossoms or wild flow-
sion, too.
ers in the spring or colored foliage in the
rants
fall
more than worth the
are
them.
A
boat
ming
is
possible in
where swimsummer, or where or skiing are to be
ride, a place
coasting, ice skating,
found
trip to see
in winter can give everv
of the family a day
Someone who
or tropical fish If
vou
239
is
also
worth
live in a citv that
specializing in
may be
raises rare plants
a
visit.
has restau-
foreign
dishes
it
a great treat to try these once
in a while.
Buving food supplies to
pare foreign dishes at
home
pre-
can make an
exciting trip, too.
member
What Arrangements Beforehand?
worth remembering.
form.
vou are planning to visit a place that may be open onlv certain davs or hours, find out ahead of time what those hours are. If you are visiting a factorv.
Adventures with People
some public building, or some department of government like the citv hall or
usuallv
It is
more fun
for the children
do something themselves than to watch even the "world's greatest" perto
People as well as places are worth making an excursion to see. Collectors
If
the state legislature,
sects, rocks, stamps,
out if and when visitors are permitted. Find out how much time you need to allow to see the place thoroughly, and if a guide
The "oldest who may have
needed or available. For some places, special equipment may be in order. In a dairy, for example, rubbers or boots mav be needed because there is often water on the floor as a result of cleaning the vats and pipes.
autographs,
of
birds,
coins,
dolls,
in-
and the like can introduce children to whole new worlds of interest and activity. Almost everyone enjovs sharing his hobbv with eager young folks.
in
inhabitant"
is
a
person
interesting stories to tell
find
is
some communities. People who have
traveled or lived in distant places usuallv
have pictures
as well as stories thev
enjov sharing. Someone who plays an unusual musical instrument and is willing to give the children an informal cital"
mav be
"re-
the object of an excur-
Involve the Children in Planning
complicated arrangements are involved, it may be necessarv for vou to make them. A nine- or ten-vear-old can be responsible for such arrangements if they are simple and clear cut. There is If
no better practice
in asking questions,
stating his business conciselv,
ting the facts.
A
and
get-
nine- or ten-vear-old
can find out about buses or timetables, or get the If
An
vou
maps you mav need. talk
over with the children
old settler's pictures of earlier days can bring the past to life, and talking to her is a real adventure.
Chii.dcrait
24
ahead of time what thev will sec. the excursion w ill be more fun and more valuable for everyone. What arc we going to watch for? What shall wc ask the people there? These are questions that the
stimulate
children's
It
idea to discuss the safety rules
be observed
in traveling
and
excursions, too,
Can
many
In
plan ahead of time
or seven-vear-old.
instances, the trip will
more interesting if you are well formed about what vou are going to
The
be in-
see.
older children can go to the librarv
in search of
books and pictures on the
subject.
You mav be proud of vour family when thev start out in their Sundav best, but,
if
an excursion
is
to
be fun.
let the children wear comfortable old
clothes,
especiallv
Then nobodv them
to
will
Their
Own?
Short hikes and bicycle trips to another section of town, a nearvillage, or a place of scenic or histori-
cal interest, are often practicable for the
as well
six-
Ones Go on
their parents.
about eating, and make clear vour own rules about hot dogs and soft drinks. Of course, if a lunch is to be taken, the children can help prepare it. If you talk about the rights of others in public places, vou mav not need to nag the children about their behavior once vou are under way. And don't be embarrassed by the spontaneous enthusiasm of the
the Older
in the ac-
Traveling
You might
you are an active par-
ticipant.
bv
Happy
enjoy these
Let nine- and ten-vear-olds go adventuring on their own, if thev have become accustomed to excursions with
tual visit.
For
if
You can
and is a good that must
interest
often prevent restlessness.
the limits of safety.
comfortable shoes. need to be reminding
be careful of spots or
older children.
The Memory Lingers Perhaps on the wav home vou can talk about what has been done or seen, what each member of the family liked the most and the least, and why. Not every excursion will be an unqualified
vou have a failure, talk over as a family, calmly and without blame, how vou can improve it next time. The new interest that results from excursions often shows up in plav acsuccess. If
Building blocks, a pile of old lumber, boxes, or boards become the store or shop the children have seen. Old magazines mav \ield pictures for scrapbooks about the experience. Claw tivities.
paint,
and cravons help children
to ex-
visit. In VolScience and Industry, vou will 9. find more information and further explanations of manv things seen on vour
press their reaction to the
ume
excursions.
rips.
Letters
Making Excursions Successful
tesies,
of
thanks
for
sent to the people
special
cour-
who made
the
Be on time. If vou have made arrangements to meet a person at a stated time,
excursion especiallv pleasant, are a good
to be taken through a farm, office, or
appreciation.
do not keep him waiting. plan so much that endurance
factory,
way of teaching children how
to show-
Do
not
Excursions, from the beginning of the
will
be
planning to long after thev are over, can
taxed or tempers frayed. Let the
chil-
dren ask questions, and explore within
add
and widen the growing boys and girls.
zest to family living
horizons of
Camp
Fire Girls
ORGANIZED GROUPS FOR CHILDREN HAZEL OSBORN, Associate Professor of Social
M.S.
Group Work,
School of Social Work, University of Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, Pa.
you have
If of
six
ested
and in
a child
ten,
he
between the ages probably intersome organized
is
joining
of
them have made arrangements
junior units in their out-of-town camps.
What Do Groups
group.
Organizations like the Bov Scouts, Girl Scouts, Y.M.C.A.,
Y.W.C.A., and
for
Few growing
Offer?
boys or
girls
find
all
Packs in the Boy Scouts, Brownie Packs in the Girl Scouts, Bluebirds in the
any one place. Consequently, even when youngsters go to schools better than average, they still may want to be Bluebirds or go to the "Y" on Saturdav mornings. The special values that group partici-
Campfire
pation has in the minds
Y.M.H.A. have
special groups, or parts
of their program, for youngsters under
ten years old. There are, for example,
Cub
Girls,
and Juniors
at
almost
Y.M.C.A.'s, Boys' Clubs, and Community Centers. These junior group activities are held after school on weekdavs, and on Saturdays. Many of these organizations also have day-camp programs in summer for younger children, and a few
all
24]
their "experience-vitamins" in
of
children
can often only be guessed at. Even when they are known, they are not always seen by adults as really important, no matter
how much
they
may mean
to children.
Going to the meetings actually some children's self-esteem and
increases stability.
Childcrai t
242
New
chance to feel independent, seeming awards for achievement, feeling part of a nation-wide group are among the gains children as well as adults appreeiatc. Learning to be at home in the out-of-doors is another one of the appealing values stressed by interests, the
the organizations. In addition to these educational ad-
It
provides opportunities for children to
use
their
tance.
meanings to experiences in organized groups. Every child will not reap all the advantages. There are differences in what children want and need in their life-diets.
programs
What Almost
all
Is
the
"Program"?
developed standards to help keep their manv groups more or less uniform in qualitv. Still, local branches of all kinds of organizations vary, both from one city to another and from vear to vear. If vou have any contact with children's groups, vou will hear a great deal about program. Program means the whole range of activities stressed by the ideals
its
educational point of view.
It
and
includes
the way the children arc grouped by age and achievement, the kinds of awards they work for. and the ways those awards are earned. Program means, too. how the group is set up, and how wccklv or monthlv meetings are run. How
much
rcsponsibilitv
is
of the dangers in the big national is
commumuch pres-
that parents or the
whole may put too sure on children and leaders to achieve things that are visible and can be exhibited. A good program considers what the children can become through the nity as a
experiences thev are having. Certainly,
the national agencies have
organization, as well as
A
concerned with each child's progress in ability to get along with others and to manage his feelings. I low far he can hike or how fast he can build a fire or make a bed arc of secondary impor-
One
special
under demogood program is
initiative
leadership.
cratic
vantages, there are personal overtones
that give
own
given to the chil-
it
is
satisfying
to
evervone to see an
new
eight- or nine-year-old acquire
ac-
complishments. Bovs and girls this age are themselves eager to achieve, and are capable of learning
But boy or
new
skills.
things reach a point where a
if
girl says,
"What's the use
won my
ing? I've
of fish-
fishing badge," then
time to take stock! Doing something just for the sheer fun of doing it it
is
has a place in
life.
The boy
or
girl
who
wants to do things onlv to win awards or promotions is losing some of the jov of living, and is taking an attitude that one docs good deeds for the rewards. If
such attitudes prevail,
it
is
usually
not the fault of the program itself, but of the emphasis a particular community, leader, or family puts on the program.
dren for planning each meeting? What tasks fall to the leader? These points arc
Most
also included in the program.
of their
or
organizations publish handbooks
manuals that give
own
account worth tak-
a detailed
programs.
It is
ing time to read this material.
How Can You
A
Judge a Program?
good program
offers a sufficient va-
riety of activities, indoors
and
out. active
and quiet, to appeal to manv children and to the manv moods of each child.
Who The group
Are the Leaders? leaders in these organiza-
tions arc usually volunteers.
They
men and women who know how
to
are
do
Singing together around a campfire makes for a feeling of unity, whether in
deep woods or city park.
a proud day when a youngster starts up the ladder in one of the It
is
highly regarded, wide groups.
nation-
Edwin Weidlich
and bovs enjov doing, and who get pleasure and satisfaction from being with children. They may be things that
ten are proud of having
girls
school teachers, or college students
ther as a leader.
leaders are parents
who
who
like
Some
to
organizations stress the values
parents becoming leaders
children's groups.
Most
in
a
way, too, of
tion.
A
own
child.
mother or father may lean over backward to avoid favoring his or her
have interests outside their homes or occupations. They are not paid for their work, but full-time professional workers on the staff of an organization are paid. of
may be
or Fa-
drawing the timid child into activities. But there is another side to the ques-
plan to work with children in the future.
Many
It
Mother
their
children under
Some mothers
expect their children to "set a good example," and to be
more
docile
and co-operative than
a six- or eight-vear-old can be, or needs
to be, in such a group.
Sometimes the away
nine- or tcn-vear-olds need to get
from
-43
their
own
parents a bit more.
Childcrai t
= 44
Almost every child can profit by having some of his experiences in an organized group under the leadership of someone other than his" own mother or
arc less inclined to disturb others or to feel
Look Below the Surface
Since
father.
What About Group
Discipline?
Yon mayJ be concerned about cipline in vonr child's group.
the
As
dis-
a sub-
important to parents in many ways, discipline has been discussed in the chapter Discipline for Self-Reliance, m Volume 12, and in the section Personality Goes on Developing, in this volume. The same concerns and the same points of view expressed in these chapters hold true for discipline in organized groups. At one time, it was expected that people who took responsibility of any kind for children should make them mind and should "stand for no nonsense." ject
Nowadays,
leaders,
like
teachers,
are
more respected if thev have a "green thumb" the same natural and easy wav with children that some people have
—
with plants. Leaders who make things go well are usually those who plan carefully. When Brownies know what the}" are going to do, and how thev are going to do it, thev
it is
for Results
so important to leaders
and
group members, as well as to parents, that meetings go well and that good things happen, it seems worth while noting that few groups go smoothly all the time. Smooth meetings may be necessary
if
the Bluebirds are going to
ash trays and have for Father's
them done
make time
in
Day. But these apparently may not be the
well-ordered meetings
ones that contribute most to the
girls'
growth in human relations. Healthy blowups may often lead to experiences necessary for
manv
girls
or boys.
In one group of eight- vear-olds there
had been
a stormy meeting. Carol had objected to everything the others wanted
to do,
and then wept because nobody
liked her.
One
of the
other
girls
said
to the
not that we don't like Carol. I like her almost as well as anyone in the group, and so does everyone else.
leader,
"It's
But that doesn't mean that we don't expect her to be a good sport like the rest of us."
This opened Carol's eves to the need for compromise. She learned far more than if the group had sung some newsongs or
^
own minds.
disturbed in their
made some
prettv scrapbooks,
under close supervision and orderly session.
in a
more
polite
Choosing an Organized Group Before vou decide which group vou would like to have vour youngster join.
Disagreements sometimes contribute more to growth than a smoothly-run meeting where feelings are hidden.
bend may lie adventure maybe just a hot-dog stand!
Around or
you
the
will
want
to
become
the possibilities in
The to
familiar with
your neighborhood.
want reach co-operatively with the boy or choice
is
one von surely
will
concerned. Even the best programs are not good for every child. It is possible that the make-up of the group might not be right, not only in relation to vour tastes
girl
but also in relation to your child's previous experience.
How About Changing Groups? If
children have belonged to a group
one vear, should they return to the same group the next year? What if another group interests them more? Often there are good reasons for changing, in spite of a leader's disappointment or vour surprise. The leader may, for instance, be more of a perfectionist than is good for vour daughter. Or it mav work out the opposite way. Your son mav be discouraged by the mediocre standards of the leader, or of the other boys in the
group.
If
this
is
the case, he
will get
more pleasure and derive more value from a group where the general level of interest and accomplishment is closer to his own way of work. There mav be an atmosphere of overcompetitiveness in a group to which
your older daughter belonged. This mav not have bothered her, and vou may not have been aware of it. But it mav not be easy for vour younger daughter, who mav not adjust to it well if she joins the
same group.
How
Shall
Girl Scouts of the U. 8. A.
active in parents' organizations usually
know
the groups that are established in
their school
districts.
Thev
often can
furnish the names of the group leaders, or members of sponsoring committees. The leaders in vour church would know of these groups, too. It
is
also possible
to get information bv telephoning the
Community cial if
Agencies, or the Welfare Council,
30,000 or more. local offices of the various agencies
vou
The
Chest, the Council of So-
live in a city of
vour community can give vou information, too. Almost always, the people who are connected with these organizations like to talk with parents and are pleased to know about children who mav join one in
of their groups.
Planning Ahead Avoids Disappointment
vou are interested in arranging for your child to belong to a group, it is usually a good plan to make inquiries If
We
Find a Group?
School people and parents
who
are
early in the season
245
— or before the season
)
Chii.dcrai
2 46
hard on an eager six- or seven-year-old to be put on a waiting list begins.
It
is
•
•
i
•
when activities start in the fall. The age range, membership fees, clues, and other matters differ somewhat from one organization to another. Since the children's own information may be
more hopeful than
accurate,
is
it
wise
you to take extra precautions to find
for
out everything that will
make
a
smooth
beginning possible.
What Groups Ask
Some
of
Parents
agencies or group leaders want
them. Others register children even if no parent accompanies them, and do not expect to have any contacts with the familv.
Often, children find their way into organized groups because friends belong
They make
ments and get along ally
to go
It
Cub
join,
.
phases of his
New
on
a "hike." (It life
arrange-
Occasion-
life.
experiences for one
member
of a
some adjustments
When
boy begins to go to Cub Scout meetings, he mav not always be on time for supper. Or someone has to plan to pick him up after his meeting, since he will not be able to take the school bus as he usually on the part of
others.
a
members of the the new schedule,
family get used to
they
may
suggest that the boy leave the
attend meetings only conyenient to pick him up. when it is Such an arrangement may make the entire experience worthless for the boy. These are just samples of the kinds of changes or arrangements in family life that may need to be thought about in making plans for youngsters to join
meetings
early, or
groups.
things that they
is
one of the
curi-
that hikes involve
Your Part
should not be too hard to find a Pack that has room for another
and
start
him on
in the
Group
you learn about the group program, you will become aware of the possibilities there are for good projects. You will If
probably disco\er, too, that these projects cannot be de\eloped unless the fa-
Group Demands Upset Routine?
eight-year-old boy,
.
family often call for
or ask for extra bus fare in order
ous facts of city bus fare! Will
own
all right.
home
they bring
make,
their
but then you must take the ." He will still need responsibility. reminders, just as he does about other
can
does. Before the other
parents to register their children, and like to have parents keep in touch with
to them.
I
his
way. But nothing is really simple in our complicated world, where eyery mem-
thers
and mothers
of the
members come
to the rescue of the group leaders from
You may be
on to proyide transportation and equipment, time to time.
called
or to give assistance during the meet-
You may
find that your association
ber of the family has a different sched-
ings.
and different demands on him. At the same time, many children both want and do not want new experiences like this. Some boys and girls may "forget" to do the yen things that, a week before, seemed more important to them than anything else. You cannot quite say to a se\en-\ ear-old, "O.K. You
with the group marks the beginning of new bonds with your children. Skills of group liying are learned just as other skills are. There is a fine opportunity for youngsters to practice these skills in organized groups, first in
ule
-
junior programs and, later, in a variety of school
and
social groups.
EXPERIENCES
AWAY FROM HOME Walter Cbandohoa
34.
TRAVELING ALONE AND VISITING
35.
CAMPS AND CAMPING
36.
BOARDING SCHOOLS
37.
LOOKING TOWARD THE TEENS
These are the years when children want to try their wings away from home in a setting that gives them an appropriate measure of independence, as well as the protection they
Going
places
on
still
their
need.
own can
their feelings of independence.
These
contribute to travels
can be
arranged to challenge, but not to tax, a boy or capacity to manage for himself.
girl's
A
good camp experience can open new horizons for children. Under some special circumstances, a carefully selected boarding school can be a good step beyond the home circle. Just when a child is ready for such a step, or what kind of camp or school will give the best setting for a child's
growth, must be determined by careful studv of what the camp or school offers and what the youngster needs.
A TRAVELING ALONE
AND
VISITING
HELEN STEERS BURGESS,
B.A.
Parent Educator and Author, Scarsdale, N. Y.
Lucien Aigner
G
oixg to new places or going to familiar places under new conditions are experiences that can
We
simple circumstances, and later undertaking more difficult trips. under, at
first,
useful things,
What Makes a Good First "Solo"? Going downtown on a bus or a trolley, no matter how familiar the route, is
will
exciting the
teach a child a great deal.
make
want to
sure that the things he learns are
good things, things that help him and not hinder him in his
growth.
child has to be ready in order to
enjoy a new experience. WTien he is readv depends partly on his age, and partly
on
his previous experiences. It de-
on how the grown-ups prepare him for a trip, and on what kind of child he happens to be at this par-
pends
ticular
partly, too,
time of his
There
it
is
undertaken
You know all the things to do, but vour child mav not know where to wait for the bus, how to signal for it, or when to have monev readv. When to begin to get ready to get off, and how to alone.
The Happy Traveler
A
time
first
is
mav be
problems to him. These are only a few of the complicated nation,
real
opportunities for mistakes or successful
accomplishment when
for
Successful accomplishment can bring
doing any
But remember he can only get that satisfaction, and the pride and confidence in himself that is so nec-
In general, by the time
great satisfaction.
most children are six years old thev are ready for, and have had some experience in, the kind of independence required
essary to growth,
given thing.
Trips do not have to be long, exotic safaris to be exciting adventures. The is
in
taking care of oneself
if
that bus ride seems,
something he can handle. If vour youngster is hesitant about undertaking even a short trip alone, it is best not to push him if vou can avoid
to him,
in traveling alone.
adventure
a child of six or
eight rides half a mile alone.
life.
no "right" age
get the vehicle to stop near his desti-
249
Chii.dcrai
250 It
it.
is
wiser, then, to try to give
him
of the responsibilities, but not
some Let him put the money in the eoin box, let him signal for the stop, let him sit in a seat by himself. But let him do these things while you arc with him before he all.
goes alone.
I
he or she takes each morning and each afternoon going back and forth to work a continuing likely to find the trip that
source of stimulus and wonder, far
The voung
of delight.
less
ladv of nine or
who merely imitates her elders will burv herself in a comic book in imitaten
tion of the adult's newspaper.
Real Zest or Phony Boredom?
These precautions for a simple expedition may seem absurd if Your six-yearold is apparently fullv competent to undertake a journey to the moon. Some children arc more competent than others. They are more secure, perhaps, and therefore better able to accept increasing responsibilities. Sometimes the Youngster of nine or ten confident,
ently
lie
make
may be
is
appar-
who knows how
handle evervthing, advice or
who
is
to
unwilling to take
preparations for his
trip.
able to tip the porter and
order (usually the most expensive item in the diner.
)
But he may be covering up,
even for himself,
just as
much
as the shrinking violet shows.
timidity
Many
of
such children have not reallv learned
how
to travel alone,
how
to take care of
themselves, even though they tate a
An
grownup doing these
may
imi-
things.
adult traveler, for example,
That same trip can be an exciting adventure to a nine-year-old who is on her own, really taking care of herself, really
being nine years old and not nineteen or twenty-nine. Adventure
not
Where You Find
One mother who York City woke up
lived
phony
It
near
New-
to the possibilities
of travel as a broadening influence
on
when he reached the age of ten. She had hustled him into town at vari-
her son
ous ages to the zoo and the aquarium, and, later, to museums, and sometimes
They took the train that them where thev wanted to
to a theater.
would
get
go at the time they wanted to be there. They would look at zebras and fossils and all the proper items of educational
Then
interest.
they would hurry back
through Grand Central Station to catch a train
is
Is
a
home.
When Neither
the bov was ten, he and a
Marco Polo nor
Sir Francis
Drake
undertook his travels with stouter heart or higher hopes than a small person who rides the Limited alone.
"Sure I'd like another piece. Is this super!" Spontaneous appreciation, not stiff formality, makes a guest welcome.
friend planned, with parental approval.
New
York. The two with glowing reports of
to spend a day in
boys came home what they had seen and done, what and where they had eaten. And thev had never left the station! Admittedly, few other railroad stations offer what Grand Central Station in New York offers. The point is that sights all too familiar to the parents were being seen with fresh eyes bv two bovs taking charge of themselves.
Elizabeth Hibbs
callv restless,
and
a
moving
vehicle
is
no
To keep up interest, away from home be short.
place for roaming.
What
Protection
Can You Give?
let
No
Young minds,
matter where vou live, there are taken alone, can be of great consequence. Keep vour eves open to the simple possibilities that are available and encourage vour children, in these
cannot concentrate
on any one thing. If a train trip must be longer than an hour or so, try to provide
some
extra occupation.
A large-scale map
showing the various stations on the route continues to be
portions of the great wide world outside It's
while enormously
for long
years of six to ten, to explore the near-bv
home.
too,
curious and alert,
trips that,
of
excursions
best to give a few simple
interesting
as
each
place
is
reached.
instructions rather than warnings about
Some
dangers.
the signals that govern the railroad
vou get confused, a policeman the best person to ask, but a clerk in "If
fic
is
if
vou don't see an
"It's
speaks to you but this
your
who
trip,
Lest Interest Flag
Children of
six to
will stimulate children's attention as
The rowdy,
rest-
behavior that is so embarrassing to parents and so objectionable to other passengers is often due to a misguided
and vou mustn't allow anvone to buv vou anvthing or take you anywhere. If anvone should offer to, just sav politelv, Some such state'No, thank you.' ments as these are much better than vague and frightening references to "queer people" or "wicked people." is
traf-
less
officer."
nice to talk with anyone
about
information
thev watch for them.
a
store or a filling station can usuallv help
you
preliminarv
ten vears are phvsi-
effort to
keep
a child quiet, rather
to an intelligent effort to keep
than
him
in-
terested.
The Gentle Art
of Visiting
Being away from one's own home overnight constitutes a trip with a special flavor, even though the journev itself mav be only to the house next door. It is good for a child to have had, occasionallv, this kind of experience before
251
A TRIP IN AN
AIRPLANE For a stewardess, it's all in a day's work, but for the small
passenger
it
is
the
thrill
of
lifetime!
Up he goes
into the
wide
blue yonder! "Oh, boy! This is the real thing!"
home plus a feeling own like a man!
All the comforts of of
being on his
Suzanne Szasz
The tray looks viting,
but
in-
how
he manage to balance it? Besides, he is almost will
too excited to eat.
Even
becomes a trifle means sitting still, a good traveler and
flying
boring
if it
but he's stays seated.
a
Traveling Alone and Visiting he reaches ten or before he goes away for any more extended stay. He will learn
how
to
adapt himself to other
homes. No two homes are alike. To a child of seven or eight, or even older, the most confusing as well as the most illuminating aspects of his visit will be the difference in the things that are taken for granted in his own home and in other
homes.
253
and certainly never interrupts, or stavs up later than he's allowed." His mother was sure she had covered most of the important points, and that Johnny would be a good guest and have a good ess,
time.
He was
a polite little guest
and he did
have a pretty good time. He managed to learn a most important thing. But he had some bad moments. Even though Donald's family were like Johnny's in almost every respect, there were still
Other Homes, Other Customs
those subtle shades of difference in
Johnny, aged seven, was thrilled when his mother agreed that he might spend the night with his pal, Donald. His mother let him pack, but kept an eye
ing together that often bother an inex-
on what went in his suitcase. She suggested that a good way to remember to bring everything home again would be to go over in his mind what he'd done, like
cleaning his teeth
wetting his hair
down
(toothbrush),
before breakfast
She also thought (hairbrush and it was a good way of reminding Johnny to do them. "A good guest, Johnny, eats some of whatever is served to him and tries to be pleasant to his host and host)
,
so on.
liv-
perienced youngster.
At bedtime, for instance, Johnny was accustomed to a bath. Then his mother and he would read together for a quiet half hour. She would tuck him in, give him a cool small kiss on his forehead, close the door and tiptoe out, leaving Johnny to drop off to sleep feeling relaxed and quite happy. At Donald's house the whole familv romped. In the middle of the fun, Donald's mother suddenly looked at her watch and sent the children upstairs. Everyone was screaming with laughter. When Johnny got out his toothbrush, she said, "Oh, bother your teeth! They'll last till morning, I guess." She was a big woman. When she had finished hugging Donald and came over to hug Johnny, Johnny felt little and crowded and smothered. He almost wanted to cry. He didn't, though.
How Do They Take New Experiences? The great thing that Johnny learned was that there are
lots of different
kinds
Journeys end in happy meetings, and he's as proud of himself as if he piloted the plane all the way!
had
=
Childcraft
^4
and his mother's kind. The way he was accustomed to wasn't the only good way. He of nice people, not just his kind
was
just barely
months
or even a few
have been,
ready to learn
this.
before,
it
A
some children don't feel it. The healthy youngster will cope with a few confu-
You can
sions quite safely.
about
the
talk to
things
that
fact
is
him
may be
slightly different at a friend's house,
that there
but
more than one good way
do most things. For a child who
to
consistently unable
is
ings,
go easy on arranging
visits.
Remember
good only
if
Circumstances
overnight
that these experiences
they are satisfying.
What About Manners?
happy child
is
a
good
guest, with-
out any carefully memorized instruc-
You
can remind him to pick up his pajamas. You can be pretty sure that vour child will be a little more courteous tions.
awav from home than when he is at home, just as his friends will generally behave better toward vou than toward their own parents. The chapter What Kind of Manners for Our Children?, in Volume 1 5, takes up this
when he
is
question in
A
more
bov or
detail.
who
sistently in a
behaving controublesome way is apt to
be a
disturbed
rather
girl
is
youngster.
He
needs help, not so much to make other persons approve of him as to enable him to approve of himself. The chapter
When
Things
arise
when
a child
must be sent on a trip that is not really desirable from the point of view of his own immediate welfare. Xobodv would want to send a child under ten on a long journcv alone. Yet sometimes it is necessary, for
a
boy or
family or business reasons, that
even cross the continent or
girl
the ocean unaccompanied.
you are faced with such an emergency, you will think of hundreds of things that you should tell vour child. Here are just two general suggestions that should be more useful than a dozen If
Try to give vour voung surance place.
Go Wrong,
in this vol-
that
There
world
the are
all
who want though they may persons
is
traveler asa
friendly
kinds of grown-up to help him, even
not always succeed
Aunts and grandmothers mav sometimes be cross; Travelers' Aid. conductors, and porters mav be busv; but, basically, most of the adults want right
A
mav
Trip?
specific instructions.
to adjust to slightly different surround-
are
What About an Emergency
might
w helming. Then Johnnv would have been a weeping, homesick, frightened child, unable to learn anything good. If you know your child, vou will be able to sense what he can take. A little homesickness is to be expected, though
for
such instances.
year
small way, just too over-
in its
ume, may have helpful suggestions
awav.
to help.
Trv to give vour child assurance that most of the things that arc expected of him in this situation are things that he not enjov them all. He might be seasick or lonesome, or just plain mixed-up. These things have hapcan do.
He may
pened to most of us, and he will survive them, too. The reason he will survive is that he is a good person and vou, his parents, love him no matter how many mistakes he makes. If vou can give vour child at least some part of such assurances, you need not worry too much about the details. You will have sent him forth with the best equipment a traveler can have.
CAMPS AND CAMPING HELEN LACEY HASKELL, Director,
From Summer's
A
Children by Barbara
summer
at
three
to
re-
independence. For he
At
good camp, a few fundamentals of survival can be learned for keeps, at first hand, through doing and observing. Children find out where food and drink come from. Thev learn how to keep
Surroundings
a
Thev find out how The relationship
handle big animals.
How many young children in citv and suburb can go barefoot? How many have under the stars? Or been out in rain for a few hours? How many have explored deep woods and enjoyed terrifying themselves about getting back safely? Or walked in the dark, listening and straining to see? How many have repeatedly watched clouds in the sky, insects on the wing, or felt grasses, flowers, rocks, water, sand and dirt, wind in hair, and sun on back? Resident camps can open wide the doors to these wonders, and at the same time help a youngster on a happy road
is
supervision.
contributions.
New
not only
awav from home without his parents. He is on his own, and vet under careful
alive in water.
Offers
is
transported to the countryside, he
markable things for vour child, all at once. It can effect a complete change in surroundings. Camp can give him an education in simple, first things no longer possible at school or m most homes. It can place him in a simple child's community whose workings he can grasp easily, and to which he can
Camp
B.A.
Treetops, Lake Placid, N. Y.
Morgan
camp can do
make worth-while
Camp
slept all night
mankind
to soil
Tire child
may
becomes
try to
real to
to of
them.
milk a cow, gather
eggs, feed garbage to pigs, or
watch as may chop
put on the land. He wood, whittle with a knife, build fires, or, when a canteen is spilled on a hike, learn to do without water.
manure
is
Camp
a Child Community
Is
Camp
world and can be simple, sound slowed to the pace of a child's learning. It can be a training ground for future responsible citizens. Here children can help make the rules. They can have a voice in planning.
255
is
a child's
—
Childcraft
»S6
They can contribute work. Work may take the form of waiting on tables in turn, planning parties, giving plays, or
earing for
pets.
community tion, known
No
job, its
matter what the successful comple-
to the group, arouses pride
and self-confidence. This feeling of being needed is not always easy to give in the adult world at home.
Who As part
Go
of a broad
life.
to
Camp?
keep at home the child who docs not want to go away to camp. Ability to benefit from an experience away from home comes from security gained within the home's four walls. The homesick child, unable to see the possibilities
the
in
friends there,
program
of
should be part of each
Obviously,
many
children
When
there was less mechanical
equipment, when the majority of children were brought up in rural homes, it was easier to get these values. Camps did not exist in the large numbers they do now. It is
plain that healthy,
happy
dren can have their pleasure in
is
camp
or
possible
looking through a fog of
chil-
life in-
home.
"What there
are the}- doing?
when
I
dren under ten can distinguish between such deep insecurity and a lukewarm attitude toward
mentary
new
can help the
lors
quickly.
The
latter,
deeply
mo-
usually fairly
disturbed
child
at home. Sometimes no better plan than camp
needs help is
possible for a deeply insecure child.
Wise
parents will talk over such circum-
work with children their own age. When this companionship is hard to arrange, parents often choose camp.
all
Children by Barbara
experience, or
Understanding counse-
fright.
stances with the
to
Will they be
get back?" Parents of chil-
creased by opportunity to swim, to plav,
From Summer's
Camper?
possible,
If
of educa-
get these without living in an organized
group.
the Reluctant
worry, a blur of tears, a mind's eye full Shall
tion, these values
child's
How About
camp
director so that
possible help can be given as the
child slowlv learns to understand himself.
Morgan
There is satisfaction in a job well done when
you know the others count on you to see it through
to the finish.
Camps and Camping How Many
Go
Years Should a Child
to
Camp?
for
adventure and the
exact advice can be given about
number
to camp. in
room
unexpected.
Xo the
cursions,
25-
of seasons a child should go
A
second, following
the same camp usually
summer
rewarding.
is
Enow
the Leadership
How
can vou
know
that a
rector has the organizing
camp
skill
di-
to put
Some
children, especially the onlv chil-
into practice the general aims
dren,
may want
you admire? Ask some parents who have had firsthand experience with the camp. The director will be glad to give you names and addresses of parents whose children have been in this group. Desirable though it is. camp directors cannot alwavs get vou together with your child's counselor ahead of time. Counselors are often working or studying in distant places. Here again, ask
Sometimes
more summers.
to go
a successful
camp
experience
should not be repeated because growth, interest, or family convenience demand change.
How
to
Choose a
Camp
vou have even glanced at pamphlets and booklets put out by camps, you have become aware of the wealth of possible choices. You may have met the director and seen pictures of the camp attended last summer by Nancv. who lives next door. Teachers have made suggestions. You may have read notices in the local, daily, and national magazines. The Scouts, the Y's. voung Billy's church group, and other community organizations sponsor camps. How choose If
wisely?
What Does the Camp Stress? Your child needs a change in summer. A glance at some booklets, a brief talk with some directors, or a short camp visit mav disclose no guiding values that would give a child new, varied experi-
and
ideas
questions. How does Jimmy Brown talk about the counselors who worked with
him
last
summer?
Can vou
give the
camp
director
\
our
complete confidence? If so. vou will have faith in the selection of your child's counselors and his companions. You know the camp will be a safe place. You feel at ease because vou will be called in an emergency, and vou experience the warmth and friendliness which will welcome your child to his new life. Does the Program Appeal
to
Your Child?
of such attention
Because vacation time is free time, choice time, vou will turn to camps that offer the riding, mountain-climbing, sailing, or nature program vour child will like. No camp can offer everything. Almost all good camps have swimming. and, in the United States, baseball. Activities in line with "basic" education will vary with what is round about.
children in
Seashore, lakes or streams, hills or
ences or a chance to help take care of himself.
Watch
for attention
to
individuals, each with his interests, his
own
own
special
rate of growth.
Lack
and awareness will line rows too much. You do not
want them kept
Too manv
children as
rules
in tight little groups.
mav
much Watch for
transport too
country grass. emphasis on exploration and small citv asphalt to
ex-
tains,
deep woods or open
fields
moun-
— each
offers special opportunities. Crafts, art.
and carpentry develop
added to help and to keep active
are often
hobbies
youngsters off their feet at intervals, lout happy. Musk and dancing frequently are activities the children delight in, too.
Your child's interests are important, and so are vour hopes for him. Let us suppose you and youi children are eitv bred. You have never had a vacation on a farm. You examine Camps A and B because both offer the riding program your daughter wants. Though Camp A's program seems better, you choose Camp B, because it combines riding with an
Camps
for children
under
ten should not be too specialized.
There
active farm.
many new
should be as
experiences as
possible.
Is
There
Room
Choices?
for
camp
In his plans for the
camp
director shows you his
of children.
Not only what
day, the
the plans arc,
but how they are organized or put gether,
Young
important.
is
to-
children
should not be handed "made" schedules. Skillful teaching should arouse interest and co-operation in even those activities that will
become
daily fixtures for the
season.
Large blocks of free time should be left to be filled in on a daily basis, lliere
must be room
for the
From
rain.
unplanned
morning
make
good camp, -is shift around
In a
of clouds
—
plans. flexibility
as
and
— readiness
evident within an the
over-all
plan.
activity
as
Teams,
or sides, are not congealed for
it
is
in
the season. For example, there will be
much
baseball practice, few scheduled
games.
Emphasis
is
on
self-improve-
ment, not comparison with others. Public
recognition and praise are stressed.
Each
child can be
Barbara Morgan
children need someone who takes Mother's place. A counselor who will take time to listen is invaluable.
Badges, ribbons, and similar formal awards are not needed by topnotchers and are a discouragement to
thing.
those
commended
for
some-
258
who
are less able.
What Kind
sally,
Listen for talk of daily meetings or
councils that
to
a
t>>
Young
of
Age Groupings?
"\\ e want a small,
the proper use of that "perfect" after-
noon following
Slimmer'* Children
knowledge
our of
little
for
boy, where he will get plentv
attention
camp
homey camp
and help."
is
a
request
directors get often.
Camp
from fifteen or twentv campers to several hundred. Size mav have been one of vour first considerations in looking for a camp, but you will discover that age groupings are more important than size. A small camp whose age range is wide will not find it possible to provide enough companionship for each age without allowing one or two groups to get larger than the rest. sizes
range
Camps and Camping The
others are inevitably taggers-on.
small farm-home
range
age
to
camp which
its
or
ten-year-olds
to
six-
limits
A
seven- to twelve-vear-olds can do a fine job for your child.
One
age range
may be more
valuable
A
ten-year-
than another for your child. old
who
children
placed in
is
camp where
the
majority of children are younger. In a
group looked up to by younger children, blossoms.
He now
nobody
many do. He
tries
things he formerly refused to sees that
added junior divisions, to share mounting costs of camp management. These can do as fine a job for younger children as can the small or medium-sized camp, provided they have facilities, counselors, and direction separated from the older children.
teen-agers onlv, have
the baby in a family of four
is
this fellow
259
out perfect. "mother's helper"
starts
A
well-meaning seemed to adore her young sisters and brothers, and puzzled her parents, because she was unpopular in school. When placed in a camp where her
group was the youngest, the jolts she got the first couple of weeks were hard to take. Before the summer was over, she found there were better ways of making friends than "mothering" her companions. This winter, no one in her class-
room
considers her bossy,
made
several
good
and she has
What About Cost and Distance? There is a surprising range in camp tuitions. High price does not guarantee a good camp, but a too-low tuition may mean an inadequate number of good counselors, in a privately owned camp. Camps sponsored bv the Y.M.C.A., Y.W.C.A., Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts,
community centers, or other community agencies can often combine churches,
low tuition and high standards of camping. Fancy equipment and expensive location are apt to be attractive, but are not
important
as
knows
children,
as
the director
who
and knows what the}" Cost of required equip-
ought to learn. ment adds to expense.
Check
to see
if
there
is
much
of this.
Extra charges for activities such as riding, or for services such as laundry,
friends.
What Size Camp for the Sixes to Tens? Medium-sized camps can often afford more equipment and pay better salaries to counselors than smaller camps do. Smaller camps often overcome financial disadvantages by combining facilities
should be looked into before you make comparisons in prices between camps.
with schools, or by having year-round farms. The great advantage of both small and medium-sized camps is that
dependence and
their directors can
with
all
campers
have personal contact for
whom
they are
re-
Occasionallv a large subdivisions is
the
can expect different values from
eight-week-season
camp
camp and
the
that has a two- or three-week ses-
sion. In the longer time, lessons in in-
a sense of
responsibility can be
community
more thoroughly
But your child may not need and the shorter period away from
learned. these,
home may
fit
better into vour family
plan or budget. Length of season varies
sponsible.
tion
You
camp
will
whose independent
given
to
persons
have direc-
especially
trained to guide each age group. In
cent years,
many camps,
re-
originally for
from two weeks to the whole summer. Choice of camp near at hand or far away should depend on what the camp offers or what you think of its leadership, if transportation costs are not to be
CAMP ACTIVITIES There are camps for every age and every taste. Some feature water sports, some feature nature study. Others may offer overnight hikes,
All
still
others crafts.
photographs from Summer's Children by Barbara Morgan
Childcrm
262
reckoned with. Learning about a new part of our country and meeting a new group of frieiuK can enlarge a child's
I
on his return. Avoid. "At camp they won't put up with anything sponsibility
like this
horizon.
Keep Equipment Simple Preparing Your Child
Youi
Camp
for
camp, in fact, your selection of it. should be done without involving vour voung child in detail^. A mother of a nine-vear-old had search
for the right
special difficulty finding the desires. After
numerous
camp
visits,
and
of her inter-
with several directors, a choice was made. The director was asked to visit
view
the
s
home
camper. love
it."
meet
to
the
chose mv camp reported this little
"'I
prospective first
thing.
girl.
A
I
small
child cannot choose, but the feeling that
she has done so
is
good. Parents should
so present the chosen
child thinks
it is
camp
that their
the onlv place for
him
certain
that vour
child
con-
go to camp. To develop this feeling stress fun. adventure, new friends, ways the child can help at camp. Avoid too much discussiders
it
concerning amounts as well as kinds of equipment, its listing, marking, and packing. Baggage instructions are given for vour own directions
benefit, so follow
them
carcfullv.
Your
child will be expected to help keep his
The
things in order.
unnecessary
less
equipment he has the
better.
Do
not hesitate to add anv special suggestions for vour child's care. Camps
know
are glad to
details of special physi-
home. But add these in vou when send in the form the camp uses for information about health and background. You can send a letter if some emergency, requiring special atcal care given at
writing
tention for vour child, develops in the
or her.
Make
camp
Follow
a privilege to
Do
spoken message at train or bus station. Follow carefully all camp advice concerning sending children who have been exposed to contagious diseases. last davs.
not
risk a hastily
sion of plans for the rest of the family,
about camp of time. Children live in the present. Too mam" and too constant reminders of future change sometimes bring an unreasoned sense
Shall Parents Visit
of loss.
ings, either
and too prolonged itself, too far ahead
talk
hopes for your child's physical development, or for changes in attitude and behavior, conIf
vou have
special
fide these to the director onlv.
You may
cramp Johnny's muscles in swimming class if vou tell him he must come home with a perfect crawl. Let Johnny knowthat vou are proud to send him. Do not give him the feeling that it will be a vou to have him gone, or that vou expect a paragon of neatness and rerelief to
Camp?
Each camp has its own rules concerning visits. Find out what these are and important to vour child that vou know his camp surroundco-operate fullv.
bv bringing him
or bv seeing
the
camp
It is
him with
at the start.
his friends
season. Saved
during
from the need
to describe the place, vour child, after
he has returned home, will about his life at camp. Keeping
in
tell
Touch with the
vou more
Camp
Each camp has its rules about packTelephones and telephoning. ages should be used onlv for emergencies or for special celebrations such as birth-
paper with spelling corrections or properly spaced periods.
Welcoming Returning Campers
Welcome home
important for success of the camp venture as were preparations to go out into the world. Your confident young wanderer has as
is
been to far places and now expects wideopen arms and admiration. Give him these. Be a good listener, and bide your time if important details are at first left out.
Be undisturbed
their heads.
or soon will From Summer's
Children by Barbara
Morgan
Seeing your child's camp, meeting his
you a good basis memories of camp later.
counselors, will give for
sharing his
Keep the camp office informed if you travel away from home. Never write days.
important requests or information to your child with the expectation that he will
show the
One
letter to his counselor.
and card each week are better than daily communications from home. Detailed descriptions of good times at home may cause a voung camper to feel left out. If your youngster
is
letter
of writing age, fewer letters as the
days go by better into
mean camp
that he life.
If
is
entering
homesick or
complaining letters flow in regularly, get in touch with the camp director. At the same time, you can also make constructive, encouraging comments directlv to your child. He may need to have assurance that he is in direct touch with you.
Your
child's laboriously' printed signa-
if
exaggerations rear
You probably already have, receive, a camp estimate of
achievement. Anyway, it is interesting to learn how things look to Johnny.
"Daddy, look! Johnny is eating all his lettuce!" This is no way to greet progress. Accept improved behavior in all fields without surprise or special comment. If your child has developed habits vou do not like, note them silentlv, and decide on gradual retraining. If they seem important, bring them to the attention of the
camp
director along with
you have liked. All effects cannot be judged as quickly as exuberance, happiness, and sun-tan. results
School,
Home, and Camp Work Together
Comment from
camp staff may be helpful to Johnnv's or Man's teacher, and the children may have a chance to share some camp experiences with schoolmates. Parents, school, and camp the
work together to guide children to independence along a road giving happiness now and in the future. Through camp, children can grow in ability to take change in stride.
They can
gain in-
creased self-confidence through mastery
They can enjoy an
ture or gay picture, your third-grader's
of basic
messy, illegible paper are from the heart, and should reach yours. Never return a
growing awareness of needs and
skills.
leges of others.
.6,
everprivi-
BOARDING SCHOOLS HAMILTON,
A. E.
M.A.
Consulting Psychologist. Sheffield, Mass.
Todd School
Children who
a
boarding
school cat, plav, study,
and sleep
there.
attend
Those
sponsible for
at the school are re-
A fore
the responsibility of the school and
may
be concerned with the child's physical welfare, with his progress in his studies, and with his emotional and to
spiritual growth.
There dren of
much able
always want to keep them there.
basis.
its staff
are boarding schools for chil-
all
ages.
Some
are
conducted
as
as possible like a large, comfort-
home. Others ha\e
a
more formal
kind of program. A boarding school can sometimes proyide special attention, adyantages, or experiences in working, playing, and living with others that would not be a\ailable at home.
home. Unless there
are unusual conditions, parents almost
phases of the child's
all
deyelopment on a round-the-clock It is
of this age belong at
child
he
is
who goes away to school beten may feel pushed aside. He
being sent away from home, instead of going because he wants to. or is ready to go. This is often true, no matter how deeply lo\ing a parent or parents may be, or how eager to ha\'e their children with them. So, if you are considering boarding school, take your boy or girl into family counsel. Let him (or her) explore with you eyery think that he
is
necessary move. Lead
him
to feel that
he has an important part in the decision as to what shall be done.
When ble, to
is
send
it
desirable, or even justifia-
a child
under ten to boarding is an indiyidual
school? Each situation
Reasons
for
Boarding School
one, but here are
obyious that the reasons for deciding to send a boy or girl to a boarding It is
school arc
many and
especially
true
of
tween the ages of
varied.
those
six
and
And
this
children ten.
is
typical situations
that parents have actually
If
Family
'AYe
be-
Children
some
Life Is
to meet.
Disorganized
arc liying like gypsies," said the
distracted wife of an
'64
had
army
colonel.
"We
Boarding Schools from one army camp to another. Henry and Harriet have never been in one school long enough to put down roots before we had to tear them up and flit
transplant
them
to another.
Wouldn't
good boarding school for boys and girls be better for them?" Fortunately, most children like these two, ages seven and nine, can adjust to frequent and eyen sudden changes of a
A
rooted down.
they have not
since
especially
liying,
become their way of life. harm No need come to them, provided and genuine love at home, wherever that may be. It might be wiser to keep them in the family circle, at least until thev are old enough for is
security
a secondary school.
If
Families Are Separated
Another parent
writes,
cided that divorce
Dick,
who
is
is
eight,
"We
have de-
our best solution.
and Ellen,
ten, are
from the home tensions of the waiting period. Is there a school where they might be welcome during the interval between our decision and its final suffering
result?"
A
school of the small,
homev
kind, or
one with the cottage system of living in small, family units, might be the answer. At least one "large family" a larger
school has specialized in getting children adjusted to a coming divorce, with the collaboration of their parents. So successful has this plan
been that
it
is
hoped many other schools, faced more and more frequently with this growing problem, may follow up this idea. "Is there a boarding school for our
now
A
few boarding schools make provision for young children. Outdoor life and a sound approach to book-learning are stressed in these schools, bv warm, friendly adults.
Sometimes the long illness or the loss of a parent makes it impossible for a child to have a normal home life, and it seems as if boarding school would be the best way to get him into a happier atmosphere.
from one school
shift
to another has
there
265
We
If
a Child Needs More Stimulation
wasting time in the one-room school near our ranch home. He is so
"Jim
is
bright and energetic that the class bores
him.
He
ahead of his fellows in capacity and his mind seems to be going to seed. He doesn't have much chance to play with other children, for there are none around here. Shall we send him where he can grow according to his abilities and promise?" another father is
far
asked.
Sometimes home
and opportunities outside school really are not enough to keep such a young mind eager and growing. It might be better in that case to find one of those boarding schools for children under ten where a bov's or girl's particular bent, talents, and desires would be given sympathetic attention and friendly guidance. Those who have studied young chillife
dren tell us that the continuous contact with an affectionate adult is more important in the long-range development of a child under ten than the information he acquires in the early grades.
Before you decide to send a child under ten away from home because vou
must travel for a year in a country where it is too hazardous to take a young child,"
feel
asks a worried mother.
providing other stimulating experiences
Kate,
turning
seven?
he is not learning enough, consider whether vou can supplement what his school is doing. Reading with him or
Be sure there are adults who give real friendliness in a boarding school you select for a child who is under ten.
When
you buy a copv of Sargent, or borrow from a friend or your public library, don't be alarmed by its bulk. Its content
is
subdivided,
excellently
dexed, and cross-indexed to
in-
make hunt-
ing easy.
Turn
Lois Ruth from Cushing
the divisions on
Boarding Schools for Young Children, Secondary Boarding Schools with Junior Boarding Departments, and Elementary Boarding Schools. If you have a special problem, to
look in the pages on Special Schools. that
make up
what you
for
he is be better than
may
missing in school
feci
sending him away.
How If is
Shall
Choose a School? a
boarding school
school for the particular temperament,
and promise of your child deserves the most careful attention. Healthful surroundings, a program capacity,
not too strenuous or regimented for a young child, a school staff concerned with children, not just with subject mat-
good want to be
of the earmarks of a
boarding school.
statement of facts and seldom, ever, an overstatement concerning the quality of a school. Next, turn to the second section of the volume where certain schools have placed advertisements, usually under an attractive if
necessary, then the choice of the best
some
handbook savs about all the schools that seem to vou to hold promise of what vou need. You
You
will
sure, too, that the school
is
picture.
all
to the
lively,
same
pattern.
One
needs all the help available in finding such a school.
The
best place to start exploring
is
be-
tween the covers of a fat, red book of over a thousand pages called the Handbook of Private Schools, published by Porter Sargent in Boston, Mass. There arc
other
reliable
school
will
find
further details
about plan, program, and ideals. Read the ones that talk about the kind of school you arc looking for. Something
may
click.
How
Shall
But read everything carcfullv and list all the schools that seem worth following up in further study.
directories.
We
Weigh
the Evidence?
Next, write for catalogs. Be prepared
friendly, individual children, rather than
them
You
interested in
developing happy, well-rounded, in cutting
read what the
will find a fair
We
you are sure that
ter, are
Now
words and gorgeous illustrations on glossv paper, but do not be hypnotized bv eloquent language or professional photographs. The simplest printed folder, showing a picture of a modest farmhouse, and a meadow with cows, horses, and children, for a deluge of printed
may
claim only that the school
big family
-66
home. Yet
it
is
just a
may prove
far
Boarding Schools
26-
than the school pictured as a castle on a hill and promising every ad-
cither schools or sources of advertising.
vantage. So, take the catalogs, folders,
They charge
and form letters with a grain of salt. Weigh and sift them, and resolve that you will make a firsthand investigation of the schools most likely to meet vour desire and need.
for the best advice they can give.
better
While
these
first
steps are in progress,
get side lights from as many sources as vou can. Parents of children who have been to a certain school mav be helpful, but vou cannot take their word as final. One parent, different from vou in viewpoint, might be highlv critical of the verv school where vour child might get along best. Another parent might praise a school where vour bov or girl would be unhappv. Listen, take note, but keep vour mind open for all the facts that can be found as groundwork for vour own conclusions.
connection
keep
of
a
financial
kind
with
moderate fee to parents
a
Thev
touch with schools seriously and conscientiously, and can take time to study each individual problem to the in
best of their ability. Such professionals are not listed in Private Schools.
You
can find out about them bv writing to the Child Studv Association of America, 132 East -4th St., New York Citv.
must be admitted there are some special situations that no school can It
meet.
What
to
Look
for
on a
Visit
After making a tentative choice of several schools within visiting distance
home, plan to take time enough for more than a mere glance. Ask beforehand when it might be possible for vou of your
to see the school in action. Sav that, be-
Can It
We
Find Unbiased Advice?
would be
well, also, to get
"expert" advice. In the Private Schools vou
magazines,
some
Handbook
will find a
journals,
and
meeting the head and some of the teachers, vou would like to visit a fewclasses of the kind vour child might enter. Ask if vou mav watch the pupils at sides
list
of of
newspapers
their plav and.
Some
if
permissible, at bed-
mav
that have departments of school-infor-
time.
mation service. Their advice might be weighted in favor of schools advertising in their columns. But, in cases where a parent is seriouslv in earnest, and will take time to make a personal contact
too large an order. Others will welcome
with the director of such a bureau, some unbiased help may be found. It is worth trving.
There
are,
also,
professional
counselors or advisers.
school
Thev have no
Welfare and happiness are more important than "spit and polish" in boarding schools for young children.
schools
regard this as
Children's Bureau, Esther Bubley
Children
more
learn
when they feel ease and know they
readily at
can ask
for
help in the
classroom, and when they are encouraged to express their ideas.
From Summer's
such
a
request as an indication of the
kind of parent you
are.
and
will
respond
Remember
that as the principal
the school most likely to be.
she
who
chooses the teaching
principal
the pupils
screens
It
is
is,
so
he or
staff.
The
for
their
community and its them. By all means meet
value to the school usefulness to
the head, or the principal, who. the kind or
who
girl, will
will
be
if
he is bov time
right for your
give generously of his
and pay careful attention
to problems.
Morean
your son or daughter can visit a school with you, watch how he reacts to If
the
willingly.
is
Chihiren by Barbara
many
Voice Shall a Child Have in
Choosing? If
it
ber that contagion of character as that of measles or
has been possible for you to
visit
and you have narrowed down your choice to one or two, ask if you may bring your son or daughter with you to look things oyer and get the the emotional atmosphere.
unwise to take
one school
a
after
It is
young child around to another on an initial
He might become
unreasonably prejudiced against the best school for search.
him, or enthusiastically attached to one where he would not be happy. His judgment is not to be trusted as final, for heads as well as hearts must work together on such an important problem. A young child's head is not ready!
to
as
Rememas real
is
mumps. Do not
your feelings, or even your hunches, about the kind of people your child is to live with day after day. ignore
What About
the Course of Study?
Of course you
want to study the academic program and how it is run. ities
will
schools have the
and techniques
for a
facil-
good introduc-
You
tion to the tools of learning.
several schools,
feel of
and
of the pupils as possible.
Most reputable
How Much
teachers,
to
principal,
will
not find a great difference in this regard between schools. Your main concern is with the way these
Ask
yourself:
"How
facilities
are used.
eager are the pupils
How
warmly and cheerfully do they respond to classroom life and study time?" This is more important than how much thev cram into their little heads. Get the feci of the classroom atto learn?
mosphere.
Is
relaxed or tense?
it
driving or leading?
Above
all,
children seem happily alive in
chapter
What
Is
in this
vou
of
>68
picture
it
do the it?
The
the Modern School
Trying to Do?, schools.
Is
the
volume, goals
will give
of
good
kled with pictures or even doodles,
boy or in
is It's
a good day
the
boy
^^.
who
a postal card, or a from newspaper home. finds
^y*
or girl
for
a
letter,
girl
let a
know Mother and Father A homemade pic-
have not forgotten.
on a letter or card is worth more than hundreds of words. Your ability to sketch will astonish vou if you start practure
ticing in your letters. If
you want
a
young child
specific questions, better list
to answer
them on
a
blank sheet of paper, to be answered and returned in a stamped and addressed envelope. Avoid as
much
you can the vour letters. Don't be surprised or troubled if your
'^how
we do miss you!"
as
in
boy or girl shows few signs of missing you while away from home. Anticipate vacations with joy, plan to
fill
them with
things to do together, and you will find
out
how much home
and how wonderful
has been missed it
is
to be back
again.
Packages Speak If
You Cannot
Visit
you cannot visit a school, do the best vou can by correspondence. If answers to your inquiries seem to have come through a duplicating machine, better wastebasket them. The head of a school who is a warm-hearted friend of childhood will answer your questions personally and as wisely as he is able, provided vour letters make him feel that vou are honestly and deeply serious in your quest on behalf of vour child. If
of
Your
Interest
Expect innumerable requests money, candy, gum, toys, and things.
for just
Respond with frequent packages,
keeping with school regulations, even you do not fulfill a special wish. Children at boarding school get as hungry for mail as they do for meals. The jov of getting a package in the presence of envious eyes is one you must see in order to in if
believe.
Correspond with the principal and
many teachers as are close to They may be too busy to vour write much in return, but you can keep with as
child.
Keeping Them Happy
Now,
let us
at
School
suppose that your son or
your contacts warm, anyway. In these ways, and others that you
daughter, or both, are settled in just the
The} have been welcomed by teachers and pupils. Their initial period of homesickness has been shortened, if not banished, by lots of things to do immediately. Frequent letters from home, sprinright boarding school.
-
keep glowing and heads alert, however far away from each other they may be. School work will thrive the better for them, for what the heart feels todav, the head will understand tomorrow. will think of, hearts will
'69
LOOKING
TOWARD THE TEENS Mary Eleanor Browning
FLORENCE CLOTHIER, M.D. s
A
Assistant President. Vassar College,
your bov
or girl gets to be nine.
you probablv wonder about the problems the teens will bring. Adolescence is a wonderful and a dramatic time, but it is
Ponghkeepsie, N. Y.
ten, or eleven years old,
a topsy-turvy time, too. Conflict,
mood-
and inconsistencies are normal. If you know what lies ahead, you may find more satisfaction and less frustration in watching the exciting drama of Your child's emergence into manhood or womanhood. No longer do you plav iness,
the leading roles in this drama. usually
the
supporting
You
and responsive. Some are quiet, shv. and withdrawn. Some are sensitive. Some are vulgar and brash. Some are leaders, some are not. Parents, too, are unique individuals, but usuallv they all share one characteristic thev have all forgotten what it is like to be an adolescent!
—
What
are
sometimes the But you can play a sig-
The
audience,
cast.
nificant part in providing the props.
You
Is
Adolescence?
teen Years do not span adoles-
cence. In
many
instances the phvsical
changes of puberty
— the puberal period,
the spurt in height, the growth of bodv
can even be directors while vonr teenage sons and daughters, with their
hair, the sexual
chosen friends and leaders, arc the
stars.
in
The drama
when
Years before the teens begin.
of everv generation,
Youth breaks with tradition, represents the hope of the
human
—
are in evidence several
The emomay
tional dislocations of adolescence
race for progress
extend well into the twenties. Usuallv, the term adolescence is used to describe
somearc outgoing
the stage of development between pu-
and enrichment. Adolescents are fascinating, times exasperating.
voice in bovs
maturation, the change
Some
if
bcrtv and well-rounded maturity.
2~0
—
Looking Toward the Teexs
A
child
lectually
may be
physically
grown up, but
relationships with people
and
intel-
and
on ahead
in the
way
Take the boy who has grown six inches in three months, and whose voice has become as uncertain as his temperafar less able to control
his feelings or to get along with his par-
two ago. when he knew without looking how far m front of him his feet extended, and ents than he was a year or
when he could
He knew
recognize his
how he
own
yoice.
about girls. It was "thumbs down." But now, in spite of himself, things have changed, and then
are out of focus.
He
complicated bv the mav have spurted
fact that one's friends
jagged thrusts.
He may be
life is
childish in his
he expresses his feelings. Physical, intellectual, and emotional growths occur in
ment.
In addition,
2-1
felt
feels equally silly
playing space cadet or trying to
make
small talk at a dance.
uneven pattern of development. Then the bov or girl feels impelled to assume an interest in being more mature, in order to keep up. in the
Are Teen-Agers Really Wild? Parents can usually assume that their
more innocent than thev try to appear. Magazine articles, newspaper stories, and teen-age sons and daughters are
neighborhood gossip have already created a scare atmosphere, and parents arc distrustful of what has come over the younger generation. But, in spite of the hazards of (
i
,
come the kind The Children Are Confused, Too
are, or
of people their parents
the kind of people of
may look like eighteen, but she may or may not wish she were eighteen. She may cling to her dungarees and her love of horses. Or she may begin spending hours in front of
parents will be proud.
the mirror experimenting with hairdo,
seems even
The
lipstick,
girl
of thirteen
and glamorous
sions. In either case, she
is
facial
expres-
the despair of
imma-
and poor judgment especially when combined with the family car or a jalopv we can trust voung people's general disposition to stay alive and to beturity
Your Trust Confidence
Is
whom
their
a Good Guide
in the
voung
the best
is
sedative for those painful nights
when
it
than it is. when the cars that pass the house do not turn in at the driveway, and when the kev does not later
her mother.
click in the front door.
Parents want their teen-age daughters to be feminine, and interested in boys
vou have faith in the ultimate good taste and good sense of your children, your teen-agers will try, without admitting it. to live up to that confidence. In the same way, adolescents who feel that thev are not trusted soon give ample proof that thev cannot be depended on. "What the heck even if I am good, thev think I'm bad. so I might as well have some fun."
but not too interested. A mother is pleased when her daughter looks fresh
She would like it better if this good grooming did not leave a trail of slovenly clothes, spilled powder, lipstick tissues, and bobby-pins in its
and
attractive.
wake. It
takes a long time for the
whole
per-
son to catch up with the parts of himself
If
—
In
the
first
years,
most-often-
the
that have forged ahead in the growth
quoted rule for parents
thrusts toward maturity.
children. In the teen years,
is
to love their it
might be
2~2
Childcrai
them, but one cannot make rules about loving and trusting. Certainly it is easier to trust if one understands the reasons behind seemingly obto
trust
r
vice. It
best learned bv experiencing
is
both success and
failure, in self-planned,
self-executed ventures.
The
adolescent's
stinate behavior.
behavior and manners are faltering, just as. years before, his steps were faltering. Parents and schools must give bovs and
What
girls
Practice in Self-Reliance?
Attitudes and ways of adjusting to people and to life that are useful and charming for the small child are handicapping and not at all charming for the adult. In the prcadolescent and i
i
early-teen years these childish patterns
behavior are given
up.
sometimes
spasmodically. sometimes personality is childish The dependent shaken loose, so that the teen-ager can build his own more independent personality. He is still without experience enough to make wise decisions or effigradually,
cient plans.
them from permanently
protecting
dis
astrous experiments.
i
(
of
opportunity and freedom to learn from experience, while at the same time
He
is
apt to cover his igno-
rance from himself and his family by an
obnoxious "know-it-all" attitude. This gives him an illusion of self-confidence. The teen vears are the time when voung persons prepare for the day when they must rely on themselves and on their own judgment. Judgment is seldom learned bv following even good ad-
Parents Are a Sounding Board
You may sometimes
feel that
vour ad-
and indeagainst vou
olescents' drive for experience
pendence
is
a
pitched battle
But teen-agers are not primarily concerned with fighting against their parents. They are concerned with achieving self-reliance the most useful personally.
—
attribute of maturity.
Your
feelings will be hurt often
bv
your teen-agers' ingratitude, condescension, or scorn. If you can remember to
from under the parental thumb, while still needing the guiding and supporting parental respect youth's urge to get out
hand, it will help. Their conflict and their struggle for independence may be expressed in all -
You want your boy
or
be interested
in
girl to
the
opposite
not
too
sex,
interested,
but so
your feelings are mixed
when gins to
that interest be-
show
up.
"
The very ideas that are scorned when a parent presents them, are staunchly defended by the teen-ager when he is arguing with his own companions.
and distorted healthier for you
sorts of strange, disguised,
forms. In general,
it is
to have to bear the brunt of teen-age
than for the vulnerable adolescent to turn against society. This docs not mean that you should take it "lying down." A young person needs to try himself out against strength, not against yielding or weakness. distress
Adolescence
Children's Bureau, Esther Bubley
— A Second Chance
Anne's acting
as
if
she had not heard
Teen-agers need the wisdom and the experience of their parents. You have an opportunity, in these teen years, to cor-
her mother is part of her struggle to achieve independence. It is as if she said,
you may fear you made when your children were little. This opportunity is for you only if you have not made up your mind ahead of time what kind of people your chil-
self,
rect
some
of the mistakes
dren must be. Your opportunity is to help your children to grow not to dictate the directions in which they must grow. Boys and girls, even if they are uncommunicative and unresponsive with their parents, are nonetheless looking
—
to their mothers
and fathers for
"Let
find
it
what Anne's mother has to say is true and interesting and important, Anne will hear it. It will be stored away and will be used as Anne builds her own set of values.
Anne may even produce
her mother's words as if they were her own ideas (and by then she thinks they are!) on the next occasion when the gang gets together and the talk becomes serious.
leader-
Teen-Age Brothers and
Do Teen-Agers Parents
Listen to
who
for
You?
months
or years have
been treated disdainfully as old fogies by their teen-agers understandably hesitate to
discuss things with their chil-
"No
out for my-
If
ship.
matter what I say, Anne pavs no attention. She used to call me terrible names and bang out of the room and slam her door. Now she just gets that patient, bored look on her face and says, 'Yes, Ma.' dren.
me alone, let me let me grow up."
Sisters
For most children, family life is enriched and complicated by brothers and sisters. The atmosphere of the home may be almost as strongly colored by the relationships, tensions, and rivalries between brothers and/or sisters as by those between teen-agers and their parents.
Joyce and Gladys were only two years apart in age. At sixteen Joyce, the elder,
was a lovely, glamorous creature. She was popular with boys and girls. She had
273
and case
poise
adults.
her relationships with
in
Nobody thought
it
mattered
that she did poorly at school. "She's so pretty, she'll get by." fat and wore complexion was terriHer
Gladys, at fourteen, was thick glasses.
and her hair
ble
bursting at
Her
stringy.
the scams,
clothes,
always looked
sloppy. Gladys definitely did not take
enough self,
Nobody, including herGladys. When her mother
baths.
liked
suggested that Joyce try to get a date for Gladys, Joyce merely replied, "Oh,
Mother,"
in that
tone of yoice that
said,
"How
can you be so dumb?" Gladys envied and hated Joyce. She hated herself. Her temporary solace was
hot dogs, potato chips, frappes, and candy that made her complexion and her figure even worse. in
who
eats far too hungrier for praise
girl
and popularity than
for
banana
splits.
of
orgies
Separation
The overweight
much may be even
May
Ease Tension
Can They Make Common Cause? Parents with several adolescent children are sometimes surprised to find
who
that youngsters,
Fortunately, Gladys' parents got help
only a short time before could not be kept from one an-
medical clinic and a child-guidance clinic. It was recommended that the girls be separated.
other's throats, have suddenly
They were sent to different schools. Through the help she received, Gladys came to understand the frustration that
grams and over who is to be first bathroom continue. Arguments
caused her to overeat so disastrously. The clinic, the school, and her parents worked together to build up her confi-
on some
for her
through
a
dence in herself. Gladys did not become glamorous, but she did develop sufficient self-esteem to see that there was a place for her kind of person. Both Gladys and Joyce benefited from the separation and were able to feci more kindly toward
what amounts society.
to a "mutual-protection"
Fights over radio or
use of the family car inquisitive
issues
TV
The
front against them.
up, too. But particularly
(nag-
solidly to-
seem to resent
to present a united
They look upon
their
parents as aliens and enemies, and lently
To
si-
oppose them.
Boy Meets
each other.
to
as
—youth stands and
as
come
— such
children
their parents
pro-
in the
("nosey"), solicitous
ging) parents gether.
formed
Girl
teen-age sons and daughters, par-
someone well
ents seem especially "nosev" and "nag-
trained in understanding adolescents' be-
ging" on matters connected with bov-
Professional help from
when have become dis-
havior can be immensely valuable,
girl
seems to couraging to everyone involved.
girls
a situation
As
274
relationships.
develop
far
For reasons unknown,
more
a result, fourteen-
rapidly than bovs.
and
fifteen-vear-
Looking Toward the Teens old
regard bovs their
girls
and vearn
"'dopes,"
own
age as
and
attitudes
for dates with older
When
you think ahead to the time your children will be going out on dates, you are probabk concerned about achiexing a sensible balance between freedom and control.
SahVs mother
is
some children. not new at ado-
feelings for
Sexual impulses are lescence. It
ones.
275
rather that their force be-
comes OYerwhelming and the
directions
and healtliY for the infant to be concerned primarih- with himself, and for the older child to be concerned with his parents. theY take are unfamiliar.
It is
right
old daughter complete freedom in re-
important for the child to take the next steps. First, he becomes
gard to dates and late hours. She steels
wrapped up
not
herself
gi\es her fourteen-year-
about going and when she will be to
question
Sally
where she is back. But Salh's best friend, Man has a mother who sets definite hours and rules, and checks up on them. In spite -
,
of the fact that there are
storniY scenes at
Man's
manY house,
It is just as
other Youngsters of his Later, he
is
happier than her friend. SallY, instead of being pleased, and
proud of her freedom, is ashamed that her mother, unlike Man's, is so indifferent. Teen-agers want a definition of the limits of their freedom, e\en though theY seem to fight against them.
becomes preoccupied with the
opposite sex. This
is
the normal, uniYer-
eYolution.
sal
Life Is Earnest in the
painful,
Mary
and projects of own age and sex.
in the plans
Teens
Perhaps one of the major problems in our societY todaY is the artificialitY of the exciting pursuits that are a\ailable
boundless and theY ha\e been stimulated bx comics, moYies, radio, and TV. The teento teen-agers. Their energY
who
ager
school, or
feels
essential
community
is
is
to
family,
usualh" not un-
duh" concerned about personal appearWorries About Their Sexual Development
ance, pliYsique, potencY,
problem of major concern to adolescents. UsualiY theY do not dis-
Sex all
cuss
it
is
a
freeh' with their parents. It
is
a
touchY subject for adults as well as for Youth. Adults who haYe been secreti\e, and therefore apparenth" guilty, on the
The
and
and sex appeal.
problems of adolescence are exaggerated for many young persons bY lack of real and challenging sexual
social
experiences.
subject will find that their children are
Teen-agers need to express and discuss their discoYeries in the world of ideas. TheY need to test them out with
secrethe also.
their
Many
teen-agers
are
tragically
tor-
tured dy guilt because of normal
feel-
ings
of excitement,
sexual dreams, or
unfamiliar daY-dreams and wishes.
The
de\elopment produces such profound and extraordinan pliYsithat
biological
changes brings about e\en more extraordinan changes in feelings. There may be a considerable time lag between the physical changes and the changes in
and with older persons whose experience and judgment contemporaries,
they can respect. Adults who are too buSY, too smug, too shockable, too ridiculing,
or too intellectual to listen to
teen-agers soon lose their opportunity to
do
so.
cal
-
Are Literature and Art Influences?
Fortunate life
and
is
in the
the child who, eark in
companY
of his parents,
ready
Be
to
listen
if
the teen-ager wants to bring his troubles to
even if he excluded you yesterday. you,
Suzanne
has been introduced to the beautv. the
In
this
Sza.-z
period of a second chance,
excitement, and the horizon-stretching
when
experience of fine books.
gether so that he will be an adult when he emerges from the teen years, parents
years he
is
In the teen
particularly susceptible to in-
fluence bv the quality of the books,
mu-
he is free to explore. Adolescent boys and girls tend to identify themsehes with what they are reading, hearing, and seeing. Parents and teachers can help them not force sic,
or art
—
a
child's
personality
do not stand alone dren.
Teachers,
is
knit to-
in helping their chil-
athletic
coaches,
and
recreation leaders can play an important role for teen-agers.
Because the adoles-
cent has no preyious complicated, de-
creati\e arts that can bring lasting satis-
pendent relationship to them as indiyiduals. he is not so likely to be in actiye rebellion against them. He can take much from them that he cannot take from his own parents. He sometimes feels understood by outsiders, but not by his parents. Experiences away from
faction.
home, boarding
them
—
to find richly satisfying experi-
ences in books, music, and
art.
They
will
use these experiences in building their
They may be stimulated themsehes in some one of the
personalities.
to express
school,
or
camp can
play a significant role in the high-school
Parents It is
Do Not Stand Alone
reassuring to
remember
that
there are fundamental deep, mutual spect
and
trust
years.
re-
between parents and
children, parents' \alues are not likely to lose out.
no matter how upsetting
young person's
surface beha\ior
may
Parents can look toward the teens
if
a
be.
with anticipation.
them if
to
widen
is
a
chance for
their horizons, too.
these are not always easy or
are.
E\en happy
good \ cars, for teen-agers indeed, wonderful people.
years, they are
2-6
It
m a
iMi! llWLl
\PM
o IftWLl
IMRI
m
U&Wj
n^
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1
i