Wuhan Lockdown(武漢封城日記) [First ed.] 9781006436314

Table of contents :
PREFACE
PREAMBLE
FEBRUARY
SATURDAY, FEB. 15, 2020
SUNDAY, FEB. 16, 2020
MONDAY, FEB. 17, 2020
TUESDAY, FEB. 18, 2020
WEDNESDAY, FEB. 19, 2020
THURSDAY, FEB. 20, 2020
FRIDAY, FEB. 21, 2020
SATURDAY, FEB. 22, 2020
SUNDAY, FEB. 23, 2020
MONDAY, FEB. 24, 2020
TUESDAY, FEB. 25, 2020
WEDNESDAY, FEB. 26, 2020
THURSDAY, FEB. 27, 2020
FRIDAY, FEB. 28, 2020 (part xiv)
SATURDAY, FEB. 29, 2020
MARCH
SUNDAY, MAR. 1, 2020
MONDAY, MAR. 2, 2020
TUESDAY, MAR. 3, 2020
WEDNESDAY, MAR. 4, 2020
THURSDAY, MAR. 5, 2020
FRIDAY, MAR. 6, 2020
SATURDAY, MAR. 7, 2020
SUNDAY, MAR. 8, 2020
MONDAY, MAR. 9, 2020
TUESDAY, MAR. 10, 2020
WEDNESDAY, MAR. 11, 2020
THURSDAY, MAR. 12, 2020
FRIDAY, MAR. 13, 2020
SATURDAY, MAR. 14, 2020
SUNDAY, MAR. 15, 2020
MONDAY, MAR. 16, 2020
TUESDAY, MAR. 17, 2020
WEDNESDAY, MAR. 18, 2020
THURSDAY, MAR. 19, 2020
FRIDAY, MAR. 20, 2020
SATURDAY, MAR. 21, 2020
SUNDAY, MAR. 22, 2020
MONDAY, MAR. 23, 2020
POSTSCRIPT
附：
序 言
前 言
二月
2020年2月15日 星期六
2020年2月16日 星期日
2020年2月17日 星期一
2020年2月18日 星期二
2020年2月19日 星期三
2020年2月20日 星期四
2020年2月21日 星期五
2020年2月22日 星期六
2020年2月23日 星期日
2020年2月24日 星期一
2020年2月25日 星期二
2020年2月26日 星期三
2020年2月27日 星期四
2020年2月28日 星期五
2020年2月29日 星期六
三月
2020年3月1日 星期日
2020年3月2日 星期一
2020年3月3日 星期二
2020年3月4日 星期三
2020年3月5日 星期四
2020年3月6日 星期五
2020年3月7日 星期六
2020年3月8日 星期日
2020年3月9日 星期一
2020年3月10日 星期二
2020年3月11日 星期三
2020年3月12日 星期四
2020年3月13日 星期五
2020年3月14日 星期六
2020年3月15日 星期日
2020年3月16日 星期一
2020年3月17日 星期二
2020年3月18日 星期三
2020年3月19日 星期四
2020年3月20日 星期五
2020年3月21日 星期六
2020年3月22日 星期日
2020年3月23日 星期一
後 記

Citation preview

Wuhan Lockdown The Diary of a Community Worker during the Covid-19 Pandemic By Hulu in the Wind

武漢封城日記 一個社區工作者的新冠疫情實錄

風中葫蘆 著

博登書屋

Bouden House·New York

Wuhan Lockdown The Diary of a Community Worker during the Covid-19 Pandemic

By Hulu in the Wind Translated by: Lily Cohen Proofread by: Kristen Stewart 武漢封城日記 一個社區工作者的新冠疫情實錄 風中葫蘆 著 翻译：Lily Cohen 校对：Kristen Stewart 出版：博登書屋·紐約（Bouden House·New York） 郵箱：[email protected] 發行：谷歌圖書（電子版）、亞馬遜（紙質版） 版次：2021 年 9 月 第一版 第一次印刷 字數：83 千字 定價：$25.00 美元 Copyright © 2021 by Bouden House All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the publisher. The only exception is by a reviewer, who may quote short excerpts in review. 作品內容受國際知識產權公約保護，版權所有，侵權必究

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

HULU IN THE WIND is a native of Wuhan in the Hubei Province of China. He is a poet, writer, and calligrapher. In 2019, Hulu in the Wind worked in a community service center when the Pandemic broke out in Wuhan. The community service workers are paid by city government working in local community in China. His job gave him the convenience of traveling through the streets and alleys when the city was lockdown. It gave him the perfect opportunity to observe the people during the Pandemic. The difference between Hulu in the Wind 's diary and Fang Fang's diary is that Hulu in the Wind is a front-line worker during Pandemic, making this diary a valuable historical record.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

PREFACE

Jie Zhang

PREAMBLE

Hulu in the Wind

VII

SATURDAY, FEB. 15, 2020

1

SUNDAY, FEB. 16, 2020

4

MONDAY, FEB. 17, 2020

8

TUESDAY, FEB. 18, 2020

11

WEDNESDAY, FEB. 19, 2020

14

THURSDAY, FEB. 20, 2020

18

FRIDAY, FEB. 21, 2020

22

SATURDAY, FEB. 22, 2020

25

SUNDAY, FEB. 23, 2020

28

MONDAY, FEB. 24, 2020

31

TUESDAY, FEB. 25, 2020

34

WEDNESDAY, FEB. 26, 2020

37

THURSDAY, FEB. 27, 2020

39

FRIDAY, FEB. 28, 2020 (part xiv)

42

SATURDAY, FEB. 29, 2020

44

I

FEBRUARY

MARCH SUNDAY, MAR. 1, 2020

47

MONDAY, MAR. 2, 2020

50

TUESDAY, MAR. 3, 2020

53

WEDNESDAY, MAR. 4, 2020

56

THURSDAY, MAR. 5, 2020

58

FRIDAY, MAR. 6, 2020

60

SATURDAY, MAR. 7, 2020

62

SUNDAY, MAR. 8, 2020

64

MONDAY, MAR. 9, 2020

67

TUESDAY, MAR. 10, 2020

69

WEDNESDAY, MAR. 11, 2020

72

THURSDAY, MAR. 12, 2020

74

FRIDAY, MAR. 13, 2020

77

SATURDAY, MAR. 14, 2020

79

SUNDAY, MAR. 15, 2020

81

MONDAY, MAR. 16, 2020

83

TUESDAY, MAR. 17, 2020

85

WEDNESDAY, MAR. 18, 2020

88

THURSDAY, MAR. 19, 2020

91

FRIDAY, MAR. 20, 2020

93

SATURDAY, MAR. 21, 2020

95

SUNDAY, MAR. 22, 2020

98

MONDAY, MAR. 23, 2020

101

POSTSCRIPT

103

附：武漢封城日記（中文） 序 言

張傑

107

前 言

風中葫蘆

111

二月 2020 年 2 月 15 日 星期六

113

2020 年 2 月 16 日 星期日

115

2020 年 2 月 17 日 星期一

118

2020 年 2 月 18 日 星期二

120

2020 年 2 月 19 日 星期三

122

2020 年 2 月 20 日 星期四

125

2020 年 2 月 21 日 星期五

127

2020 年 2 月 22 日 星期六

129

2020 年 2 月 23 日 星期日

131

2020 年 2 月 24 日 星期一

133

2020 年 2 月 25 日 星期二

135

2020 年 2 月 26 日 星期三

137

2020 年 2 月 27 日 星期四

139

2020 年 2 月 28 日 星期五

141

2020 年 2 月 29 日 星期六

143

2020 年 3 月 1 日 星期日

145

2020 年 3 月 2 日 星期一

147

三月

2020 年 3 月 3 日 星期二

149

2020 年 3 月 4 日 星期三

151

2020 年 3 月 5 日 星期四

153

2020 年 3 月 6 日 星期五

155

2020 年 3 月 7 日 星期六

157

2020 年 3 月 8 日 星期日

159

2020 年 3 月 9 日 星期一

161

2020 年 3 月 10 日 星期二

163

2020 年 3 月 11 日 星期三

165

2020 年 3 月 12 日 星期四

167

2020 年 3 月 13 日 星期五

169

2020 年 3 月 14 日 星期六

171

2020 年 3 月 15 日 星期日

173

2020 年 3 月 16 日 星期一

175

2020 年 3 月 17 日 星期二

177

2020 年 3 月 18 日 星期三

179

2020 年 3 月 19 日 星期四

181

2020 年 3 月 20 日 星期五

183

2020 年 3 月 21 日 星期六

185

2020 年 3 月 22 日 星期日

187

2020 年 3 月 23 日 星期一

189

後 記

191

PREFACE Jie Zhang, Independent Scholar

The Covid-19 pandemic was a sudden and unexpected disaster for Wuhan. It is difficult to relate the lethal virus to Wuhan where we expect to see the white clouds, the yellow crane, the clear Long River, the tortoise and the snake harboring the river and the three towns standing tall. But Covid- 19 broke out from Wuhan and spread rapidly worldwide infecting millions of people and 4 million deaths worldwide. If the Chinese government had not blocked Dr. Li Wenliang's whistleblowing and deliberately covered up information about the pandemic, the pandemic would not have been so tragic. Unfortunately, “The totalitarian system was a fertile ground for the growth of the evil seeds of the new virus.” Why is the Chinese government hiding the pandemic? Perhaps it is because of the totalitarian system, or perhaps there is a deeper concern. The experience of human history tells us that all dictatorships face disasters in the same way, and they always do their best to cover up the facts. The lives of the people are always the lowest priority in the eyes of dictators whose primary concern has been the safety and security of the regime. Dictatorship and absurdity always come hand in hand. In early 2020, when the virus was spreading rapidly in Wuhan, the spring festival party in Beijing was rocking and rolling high. However, the People's Congress and the Political Consultative Conference in Hubei were as calm as still water. The Baibuting Community Banquet in Jiang'an District served as many as 13,986 dishes for 40,000 families to celebrate the Lunar New Year.

I

It's a pity that the virus does not care about the big picture of the "leadership of the Communist Party." It comes and goes like clouds in the wind. Thousands of people in Wuhan wailed in fear, the medical system collapsed instantly, and the city was filled with the smell of death. Finally, the terrified "People's Leader" and "Great Helmsman" were so desperate that they forced the Wuhan Government to seal off the city. The largest and most draconian city lockdown in human history took place. No legal process, no resettlement plan, no restraint of power and a rampant virus, they all mingled together playing a mad sonata in Wuhan. A city of 10 million people suddenly fell into hell. A woman sat on the balcony and cried for a hospital bed for her mother. A girl screamed "Mom!" after the ambulance took her mother at night. A 70-year-old uremia patient jumped from a tall building. A family of four died one after another in their apartment. The people still remember the tragic scene of Chang Kai of Wuhan. "I have been begging and crying in all the hospitals, but it is difficult to find a bed."- Chang Kai. Wuhan became an isolated island. Every building was a prison. The internet was the only communication channel for the people of Wuhan. At this time, "Wuhan Diary" brought them comfort in the cold winter, which Fang Fang wrote. After the closure of Wuhan, thousands of Wuhan people read Fang Fang's diary before they went to bed at night and the first thing they did when they woke up in the morning to learn from her about the changes of the Pandemic and to share the hardship and desolation of Wuhan people. Fang Fang's diary was like a ray of light in the darkest times, showing people the fragility of life, individuals' insignificance, and even their helplessness, incompetence, powerlessness, and hopelessness. It was about the cries and struggles of all the people in Wuhan after there was a lockdown.

II

Fang Fang wrote that many of the deceased were infected by the virus without having the opportunity to be hospitalized or receive adequate treatment. Some even passed away in a hurry without even having a confirmed diagnosis. Thus, the eight Chinese words "People do not spread the virus, the pandemic is controllable and preventable" have turned into a city of blood and tears and infinite sorrow. A grain of dust in one era would be a mountain when falling on the head of an individual. And we are in a dusty era. At the same time, another "Wuhan Lockdown" was circulating overseas with 38 articles from February 15 to March 23, written by Hulu in the Wind. In addition, "Wuhan Lockdown" is available on the U.S. and Chinese websites, "Boxun News" and "Beijing Spring." Hulu in the Wind is a poet, writer, and calligrapher from Wuhan. He is not a fan of fame and fortune. Instead, he reads for the sake of reading, writes for the sake of writing, and does calligraphy for the sake of calligraphy. Hulu in the Wind's diary of "Wuhan Lockdown" opens a window into the actual situation in Wuhan for overseas Chinese. Hulu in the Wind was on the front lines of the Pandemic himself, traveling through the streets of Wuhan as a community service worker and documenting his experiences. In his diary, Hulu in the Wind describes both the anxiety and helplessness of ordinary people in society. It is also a record of the confusion and mismanagement of government. The community, which is supposed to be the grassroots self-governing organization in China, had reluctantly assumed the primary responsibility for social assistance during the Pandemic. China's state-wide system of fighting the Pandemic was supported by community service center workers who had no power and no money. Behind the so-called "efficient" state-wide system were the people's heartache, blood and tears, and the secondary disasters after the Pandemic.

III

Hulu in the Wind's parents had been infected with the Covid-19 virus early in the outbreak, but they recovered due to being unaware of their infections. During the Pandemic, Hulu in the Wind spent his days selling food, delivering medicine, and helping people get medical care in the community service center. These are the small things that matter to the lives of ordinary people during a pandemic. As an intellectual, Hulu in the Wind ponders on the good and bad of human nature, government responsibilities, citizens' rights, and the redemption of faith and life through these small, concrete activities. The diary combines realistic scenes and profound reflections by using simple language. The author writes: "If we do not establish the idea that humanity is the purpose, then an individual is just a part of a machine, and the people would become a colony of ants and bees. It is obvious there is no individual value in a colony of ants. All individuals are used to maintain the existence and development of the colony. Any individual will be sacrificed at any time for the overall benefit of the colony. Therefore, modern civilization's inevitable result is to respect and maintain each individual's health fully. The prosperity of a nation is the inevitable result of every citizen's wealth and happiness and not the other way around." "When facing dictators, there are those who fear, those who rejoice and ultimately those who fight. Even those who win in the fight will also inflict dictatorship on others. So, in the end, we must come back to the point of origin, the faith. Yes, faith is the origin of human spirituality. Faith is not a world view as we understand it; the vision of faith is beyond the world we live in." Today, more than a year has passed since Wuhan was reopened. The people of Wuhan have resumed their everyday lives after the disaster, but the sad memories of the city's showdown still linger in people's hearts. The devil of the virus has not left Wuhan city. The people of Wuhan still do not know where the virus came from, how many people were infected and how many died. The people in power who caused the tragic showdown of Wuhan have become wise "saviors." Zhang Zhan, the

IV

citizen journalist who reported the Pandemic, and Ren Zhiqiang, who denounced the "saviors" as monkeys, have been imprisoned. The great and the ugly people, the righteous and the wicked minds, are intertwined in the Wuhan pandemic. On March 23, Wuhan, under lockdown for two months, was about to be unlocked. In his last diary, Hulu in the Wind wrote: "I saw many people swarming the streets, men dressed in formal clothes, women dressed in flower designs. They were weightless as if they were coming with the wind. They were waiting, listening, and the voices seemed too distant, so they listened more seriously......, are they the future or the spirits of the long-dead?" March 24 was the 62nd day of the city lockdown. Writer Fang Fang wrote the last diary of the Pandemic in Wuhan. She writes: "As citizens of Wuhan who have been locked down for more than two months, and as a writer who has witnessed the tragic days of Wuhan, we must seek justice for those who died in vain. If we give up on accountability, if we forget this tragedy, if one day we don't even remember Chang Kai's despair, then I would like to say: Wuhan people, you are not only having a disaster, but you are also in shame. The shame of forgetting! If someone wants to check this off quickly, I don't think that's possible either. So, I will write them word by word, putting them on the pillar of shame in history." July 1, 2021, in New York

V

PREAMBLE Hulu in the Wind

History is what happened in the past, and things that happen today will become tomorrow's history. Only a year has passed, and I find that many people around me already have a blurred impression of the Pandemic that shook China and had a profound impact on the world. Over a time, many details of the incident and even the incident itself may be completely forgotten by the people. The mechanisms of human forgetfulness are exceptionally complex and profound but there is no reason to ignore the past. Moreover, the Covid-19 virus is still rampant today and the fight against the Pandemic is still the shared mission of human beings today. This diary was written during the most challenging times of the Pandemic in Wuhan. I was living in Wuhan at that time. Some of my friends wanted me to record what happened around me during the Pandemic and publish it online from my perspective, just like Fang Fang's diary, so that I could leave a reference for future research on this challenging period of history. They found the work meaningful and even worthy, and I felt the responsibility and pressure of their words. Indeed, from the beginning and with a clear purpose, I intended to publish this diary. The idea of publishing overseas was also straightforward. Through the internet and printing, I hope to let the world understand Wuhan, especially the actual situation of ordinary people in Wuhan. I also hope to make a small contribution to gain the assistance and support of the international community.

VII

The prosperity of any sector today cannot be separated from the mutual collaboration and support of capital and talents from different countries. The development of a sector is like this. The expected progress and prosperity of a country or even a human being is even more so. In the face of the ravaging of coronavirus, governments around the world have no choice but to cooperate in dealing with it. This diary is a more detailed account of the work and the role played by the community service center as a grassroots organization in the fight against the Pandemic. Although Chinese communities are nominally called residents' self-governing organizations, they are fundamentally different from Europe and the United States. Chinese communities are government-led grassroots organizations or institutions that work with urban residents but are not part of the government establishment. Currently, there are more than 1,000 communities in Wuhan, covering every corner of the city. These communities do not have administrative enforcement powers or legal personalities. Still, they serve as the government's hands and feet in many areas, and it is not too much to say that they are an extension of the government's power to the people. The community service centers are essential for the Wuhan government to exercise tight control over the city's 10 million residents. Wuhan's model for fighting the Pandemic is a model for other regions and has distinct Chinese characteristics. Some of the author's views and opinions may be biased or wrong. I welcome criticism and correction. July 12, 2021, in China.

VIII

FEBRUARY

SATURDAY, FEB. 15, 2020

Since the city being locked down on January 23, we as residents of Wuhan have been confined to a small room called "home." Most citizens died in their homes. Those who could survive in the pandemic are the lucky ones. The reality is that people at the center of the pandemic don't know much more about the real situation than people in other cities. The Internet became an important channel and window into the pandemic, as we were isolated from the outside world. The information we received through the Internet was valuable. Still, my WeChat account was blocked by security authorities. I could not post any information, leave comments, or exchange greetings with my friends. Since the beginning of literacy and writing, people have been using words to record all kinds of life in the world, but this was a sudden and unforeseen disaster for ordinary people. How much truth can our comments leave behind? Now, I have doubts about the power of language, text, video, and other communication tools. It's not unreasonable to say that we at the center of the pandemic know nothing about the outside world, but people outside are always eager to understand us. Many writers and celebrities documented the pandemic, such as Fang Fang, whose words have touched many people's hearts. Fang Fang recorded what she saw, heard, and thought as a famous writer, as the President of the Writers' Association. She recorded it as the Chairwoman of Federation of Literary Societies, as a resident of the apartment building where she lived. She recorded what happened to her

Wuhan Lockdown

1

writer friends and their feelings of sorrow and compassion for many citizens. It seems that yesterday's rumors of a stricter lockdown were inaccurate or not implemented, although we don't know about the actual situation. Yesterday, the weather forecast said, "There would be heavy snow today, and the temperature would drop a lot." That is not good news. We know through the media that the Covid-19 virus does not fear cold and likes humidity. Once pessimism sets in, it spreads quickly in the present state. People's moods are gloomier than the weather. Last night there were strong winds and a few thunderclaps, which is considered spring thunder. Then it started to rain, and the wind and rain seemed to last until this morning. It started snowing at about 3:00 pm, and it was heavy snow with snowflakes filling the sky. Those who are seriously ill or chronically ill are having a more challenging time. The good thing is that today's temperature is not too low. The heavy snow that fell to the ground immediately turned into ice water. A few of the plum trees around the buildings are in bloom, red and white. Viral pneumonia is the focus of the world's attention but shouldn't those with more severe illnesses be treated accordingly? The number of these patients is disproportionately higher. Nowadays, all major hospitals have closed their specialist clinics and all medical staff is being redeployed to fever clinics. For example, my mother, a Crohn's disease patient, faces the problem of not going to the outpatient clinic, so she must go to a critical care pharmacy to buy her medicine. The city's critical care patients rely on these few pharmacies for their medication. According to the government's notice, these things can be solved through the community service center and the street branch office has dispatched several online cabs to each community. However, there are about 1,000 to 2,000 families in each community. How can a community service center take care of them all! The community service workers are only paid about 2,000 yuan per month and work overtime without a day off since the city

2

February

was shut down. They face the risk of being infected by the Covid-19 virus at any time, so how much can you expect them to do? And how much enthusiasm and motivation do they have? Now the drivers of the vehicles assigned to the community are paid 600 yuan per day. It is not clear how much the community service center will subsidize the workers during this period. I want to emphasize that for these critically ill patients and those non-febrile patients who need emergency care, what choice should, or will they make, if they are faced with the situation of sitting at home and waiting to die? Various government announcements have determined and changed people's lives from the beginning of the city shutdown to the present. But unfortunately, all these measures give the impression of a lack of coordination and cooperation among various functional departments, and they all seem to be rushed. Perhaps this is the reason why the pandemic prevention work has been so slow to get on track. While I was typing these words, I suddenly received a call from my parents that the gas cylinder in their house had run out and the induction stove they had prepared beforehand seemed to have broken down, so two elderly aged, 70 and 80, could not cook dinner. So now I'm a little worried that I might spread the virus to them. May God protect us!

Wuhan Lockdown

3

SUNDAY, FEB. 16, 2020

It was a sunny day, with plenty of sunshine, and the temperature was getting warmer. I woke up in the morning to the sound of melting snow dripping. Will this be a new day for us? As planned, today I must buy medicine for my mother. She has Crohn's disease and must rely on drugs imported from Germany such as Mesalazine, Simethicone and Trimethoprim. She took pills every day to maintain her condition. Unfortunately, these drugs are not available in general pharmacies, so I had to go to the Hankou Pharmacy on Huangshi Road, about ten bus stops away from where I live. The walk takes about 40 to 50 minutes. It is scary to walk alone for 40 to 50 minutes in an empty concrete city. In the past, as a seriously ill patient, my mother, like other seriously ill patients, went to the central hospital designated by the government's social security office two to three times a month with partial remission of medical costs. Now she can no longer do that and has to find her way. As in previous days, residents have to show their passes, register their identities, take their body temperature, and leave and enter the building. In the current situation, almost no one will be free to wander out. People who enter and exit the gate of apartment buildings always have a compelling reason to do so. The conflicts with the checkpoint staff often have a reason, perhaps simply because of improper words between each other. Of course, at all times, there will be some special people who are like a sudden burst of laughter during grief. Some people can find problems that ordinary people do not realize. How to grasp the degree between leniency and strictness can be discussed in theory but the reality may be a mess. It may be that because of oral fighting, the person guarding the door then slapped the person leaving the gate. The person who was slapped wanted to kill the security guard. To measure the reality of life, we need our conscience, which is our moral compass. I think

4

February

conscience is the basis of reason. But the foundation is deteriorating day by day. This deterioration has been long-standing and has even become a norm. What should we do?! What can we do?! When I lie down in bed these days, I always have nightmares. Once I dreamt that a man in uniform was dragging a corpse down the aisle by the ankles. The man said: "The body bags are finished. What can I do?" Those unaffected by this pandemic do not know what the hell is. The human heart could be hell. The moment our conscience is lost, hell will accept us. If we treat people as people and treat life as life, then there are too many what-ifs, then tragedies might not happen, or people would not suffer so much. I'm talking about us, yes, us, the millions of us who have defended, approved, and consciously endured the dictatorship. What is the truth? When you don't have the right to know the truth, the truth doesn't exist! There is no truth, a twenty-four-volume Chronicle of History, if you want to look for the truth from it, you will be very disappointed. We are familiar with the Stories of the Three Kingdoms. Zhuge Liang, in the novel, is always demonic, pointing east when talking about the west. Writer Fang Fang said that: "Our mayor is an honest man, and it's not easy for him to handle the Covid-19 pandemic. I agree. I also recognized that. But what's the point? It's true that many times in a person's life, they can't save themselves, such as being in a turbid current, being swallowed up, but this turbid current may be what you willingly jump into, and it may also be what you have dreamed of all your life. Unfortunately, most of us are pursuing poison as honey and admiring rotten wood as a pillar most of the time. Therefore, the bottom line is essential. Where does the bottom line come from? From the conscience? The man might also sell his conscience to the devil…. Would a faithful Christian betray his commitment to God? Human nature is unreliable. Therefore, a man should never separate himself from God, even for a second!"

Wuhan Lockdown

5

In order to get to the pharmacy earlier, I went to the community center early in the morning and asked for a leave. Then I contacted the cab drivers in the community center. We were in an empty city like this -- where more than 10 million people were lurking. The cab moved smoothly like a boat sailing in the ocean. When we arrived at the pharmacy, there was already a long line at the entrance. After a rough count, there were more than 30 people in front of me. About 10 minutes later, there were another 20 to 30 people behind me. The line was moving unbearably slow as the number of people coming to buy medicine kept increasing. Some people kept complaining but others started talking. They talked about the Covid-19 pandemic in Japan, how bad India's situation is, how the medical conditions are so bad, etc. I finally got my turn at 11:30 am, but Mesalazine, the primary drug I was looking for, was sold out. I had no choice but to go to other pharmacies to inquire and try my luck. The good thing is that I bought an extra box last time, so my mother can still have it for about ten days. It took me the whole morning to buy medicine which is the simplest thing to do on a typical day. You can't imagine how those 20 to 30 workers in the community center cope with the thousands of families in the community. Their duties include providing even the most essential services, not to mention the tasks of an exhaustive search of non-Covid victims, screening febrile patients, reporting various data, and so on. When asking people （The street of Wuhan） to complete tasks that they

6

February

cannot completed, what will be the result? For example, in our community service center, a staff member was admitted to the hospital with a fever on the night of the first day of New Year. He has not been discharged. Several young people were so frightened that they quit their jobs. Of course, there are exceptions. It is reasonable to say that the cab drivers sent to the community service center by the government should be very busy in such circumstances, but they are still relatively free most of the time. The task of driving is not too much. The main reason probably is that private cars are allowed to travel now. In fact, from the beginning, drivers refused to transport febrile patients for fear of infection, so the only solution was to let the patients' families drive themselves to and from the hospital. Also, some residents do not want to ask the community service center for help. Many problems are solved by themselves. On the way back and forth, we found that a few days ago, there were birds everywhere, most of them were sparrows, but now they have disappeared. I didn't even see one… Is it the consequence of the current government's comprehensive disinfection plan, especially targeting the air? In my opinion, the birds have brought some Vitality to this city and sometimes make the city appear empty and silent, but now I can't see them ...

（The street of Wuhan）

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MONDAY, FEB. 17, 2020

The weather is still lovely today. The sun is shining in our city, which should be a good sign. I still don't hear the birds chirping, and I can't see them. As I walked to work, the streets were still empty, with a few cars moving. I occasionally saw one or two sanitation workers cleaning up trash on the side of the road. The pandemic has changed everything and everyone's life around me, and I am going to and from work as per usual. Today there are stricter controls on residents entering and leaving the gate of our apartment complex. It has been reported that further increases in power in and out of the apartment buildings are inevitable. The very few stores that are still open will be asked to close. The residents will have stricter restrictions on shopping and going out for medical treatment. It is not sure how far this will go and what the consequences will be. Many people say this is a war, a test of the ability to manage the city. It has already been tested, and it is what it is now. We shall see the result of this test…. Maybe, I missed the time of the disinfection trucks passing through. I didn't see any disinfection truck on the way, especially the ones with cannons on them used to disinfect the air space, which seems a bit ridiculous. It's like someone taking a broom to sweep the leaves in The Greater Khingan Range. The community service center got more personnel from the authorities who are responsible for the screening of residents. They called residents to ask about their health, their body temperature, and so on. Some said the pandemic should have reached a turning point by now, while others shook their heads. I'm still hoping for medicine and good weather, hoping that the virus will dissipate in the dry air as the weather gets warm as it did during SARS (Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome). For those patients without effective medication, they are at the mercy of

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God. How effective is the American drug for Coronavirus, and What are the results of the trials?

（The street of Wuhan）

When I got off work, I bought a white radish, a purple eggplant, five or six green peppers, and 20 to 30 eggs at a temporary marketplace, at the apartment building gate, spending 40 yuan. I talked to my parents on the phone at night. Their diet and health conditions were normal. I have not yet bought Mesalazine. I saw on TV that the government is going to increase control again. My mother is very worried about the medication and is not in a good mood. I need to get the medication as soon as possible. From the city's lockdown to today, the pandemic prevention campaign seems to be on track, in general, while the treatment of other chronic patients (especially leukemia and kidney patients who need regular dialysis treatment) has been on display to the degree that cannot be neglected. However, if these problems are not adequately solved, it is a matter of management and the ruling ability of the government.

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Now every family is like an island, especially for the families suffering from illness and the loss of loved ones. Even though communication is still possible through the Internet and media, they are isolated, helpless, sinking, and losing hope. At this moment, some people are afraid to touch their cell phones; at this moment, some people are weak, like a piece of thin paper in the wind. My family and I are in a situation like most people in the city; we have been considered very fortunate.

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TUESDAY, FEB. 18, 2020

The weather is still sunny, and the temperature is rising. Finally, I heard the birdsong, which had disappeared for many days. I also saw some sparrows flying among the trees, though there were not many. Human beings are so vulnerable to viruses because we can only observe them through a microscope. Yet, it is also essential to acknowledge that humans as a whole are still quite powerful. Before I was born, humans began to explore space and left their mark on a planet so far away that we can hardly imagine. Ultimately viruses and other creatures have never defeated humans. Otherwise, we would not be here now. But the meaning of human beings is not in its totality. Each of us is an individual in the world and universe. There is an intrinsic difference between humans and bees. For a person now of death, everything, including human history, disappears, shattering into dust. But there are still people looking for proof of the value and meaning of life. They believe in the soul, believe in God, believe that this life is a bridge to the other life, and death is the most dazzling jump between life and death. When I woke up in the morning and saw the sunlight, I was sure I was alive and living. On my way to work, I saw the upcoming disinfection truck again and felt the strong smell of disinfectant sprayed all over my head and face. Yet, they have more confidence and courage in life than I do. At the gate of the apartment building, some people call me Master. Others say hello, and some even do not say hello ... From a theoretical perspective, language encompasses everything about us, and we can see ourselves in it. In today's news, a 60-year-old woman was killed in a neighborhood when she tried to climb over a fence

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without permission. I don't understand what it means to climb without permission. Was there a rule about being allowed to climb over it or not? Why couldn't she climb if the old lady suddenly thought that the gas was still on at home or that her grandson might be in danger? On the Internet, people are mourning the death of Hubei filmmaker Chang Kai. I think if the names of others who have lost their lives to the virus can be erased, then Mr. Chang Kai's name can also be left out. The media reported that more than a dozen leaders in Wuhan were held accountable and promoted more than a dozen. I had never heard of these promoted leaders, nor did anyone around me know them. The circle is too small. I don't know anything about them. At the press conference, Mr. Zhong Nanshan predicted the turning point of the pandemic, but he said it would not be the inflection point that we thought it would be. So, I think the end of March will be enough. If the pandemic continues now, there will be a bigger mess in the city after March. I saw people walking their dogs in the neighborhood today. I told my colleague about it, then realized that almost all people who have dogs do so, and walking their dogs is something they must do every day. My mother's medicine is still not available. After contacting the central hospital, I was told that non-febrile patients with severe illnesses could only go to the Hankou Huangshi Road Critical Care Pharmacy to buy medicine. So, I must get in line tomorrow to buy the medicine. I don't know if the drivers in the community center office would be willing to give me a ride. It's something that needs to be arranged now. I did some disinfection work in the Community center office, sprayed disinfectant, and gave some vegetables to a few widows, widowers, and elderly without children. The responsibilities of the community center office include: Registering and reporting various forms. Answering questions and phone calls from residents.

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Responding to multiple complaints referred by government departments. These are more important and delicate tasks that are not our job. I'm better at miscellaneous and handyman work. Our community office here is a kind of organization, not the kind that some foreigners think of, nor a village council. The function of a community office is entirely different. I bought a radish, a cabbage, and a handful of green vegetables for more than 20 yuan. I'm going to deliver them with medicine to my parents. The government is also suppressing prices. Hoarding for profiteering has always been a disgrace to the nation, but the government has never been clear about what constitutes profiteering and what will be identified as unfair profit. It is still unclear how people living in poverty and who have lost their income can survive. Will they be able to receive help? Someone saw a homeless person on the road. At the end of my shift, I saw an older man sitting in a wheelchair on an empty sidewalk, wondering what was going on. We are the people with ancient ideas, of course, adding the word "civilization" to the old ideas......

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WEDNESDAY, FEB. 19, 2020

The weather is sunny today, and the temperature continues to rise. Yesterday, I planned to get my mother the Mesalazine she needed. My father runs out of antihypertensive medicine (nifedipine tablets) too. I had a feeling that I had to do all these things today. I've always handled personal business before I do the work of my unit. I think about the past few decades of my life. I am a person with no patriotism and no love for the CCP (Chinese Communist Party). Since childhood, my greatest ideal has been finding a beautiful wife, but now, even this simple desire seems unattainable. Today, the entrance of the building complexes has been checked strictly. I went to the community office yesterday at noon to apply for a pass that has been invalidated. So now people like me who commute to work every day need proof from their workplace. Otherwise, they cannot enter and leave their buildings. Fortunately, the director of the community service center committee member was here at the gate. He let me go. Now the security guards at the gates of the various residential buildings have been replaced by government agents, each with a serious expression. So, asking for a favor from community personnel is no longer working. Many agents were guarding the entrance. As soon as residents came to the gate, a group of agents immediately surrounded them, taking body temperature, questioning them, taking notes, checking documents, etc. The timid residents are embarrassed by being surrounded by so many agents. There is a car park with a unique police logo and seven or eight strong men in police uniforms standing next to the car outside the gate. All this was an indication that today is a significant day, possibly a significant turning point. So, if you do not complete all your errands today, you may not get it done for a while.

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I have heard a joke before. A very famous scholar said, "Now all the elite, talented people are into the country's national civil service. What can other non-government sectors of society do!" All in all, the situation was somewhat urgent, and once we arrived at the office, we immediately printed out a certificate of access, stamped it, and filled in our names. The manager in my apartment building said that I could go anywhere with this certificate. However, the security guard there stopped me when I went to the apartment building where my parents live to get my mother's critical illness records and medical insurance card. He said that they did not accept the certificate from other facilities. After getting my mother's medical records and health insurance card, I rushed to the pharmacy on Huangshi Road. But, unfortunately, a lot of people were already waiting here. I asked about the situation and hastily got a number. About half an hour later, already over 400 people were coming to get the medication. At about 10:30, the loudspeaker at the pharmacy shouted, "Come back in the afternoon for people after 300. Go home now." I was lucky enough to be within the 300 number. I was finally allowed to enter the pharmacy at around 11:30 am. I went up to the second floor and handed in my mother's medical records and health insurance card. The staff checked them, then checked the computer and said, "We don't have any medication you need." I said, "What do I do?" The man replied, "There is no medicine in stock. What can we do? You go to another pharmacy and look over there." I felt like I'd been hit with a baseball bat. I had waited in line from 8:00 am and without explanation, the drug was gone. "Fuck your uncle. " I immediately cursed all the bastards I could curse at a time, but no one paid attention to me. The situation is like this. I can't do anything. For the people with the power, a phone call can solve their problem. For the people without power, they will be pushed around. I think about those patients lying at home, waiting for a hospital bed. They would be miserable, desperate.

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Yesterday, a resident complained that someone had died on their floor and why no one had disinfected the building. Some people are fighting to keep themselves safe, while others have already left this world. Writer Fang Fang says, "The people of Wuhan have adapted to life in lockdown, and that people are trying to make their lives come alive in the confined spaces." She was having a good taste of living during the lockdown. That is because she lives in a luxury building, where government cadres live. The death of people in a pandemic or the heartbreaking news happening in the city will not change their pursuit of a beautiful and good life. What they don't experience doesn't bother them. The most important thing is that the consequences are unimaginable once the patient stops taking the medication. So, I decided to try my luck elsewhere. I had to thank bike-sharing everywhere in the city. Otherwise, it would not have been easy to move around such a big city with just my two legs. Maybe it was God's blessing that I finally found Mesalazine at the new specialty drugstore on Airline Road at around 1:00 pm. I heard the salesperson say, "Mesalazine is available! Oh my God! A stone in my heart finally fell to the ground. I bought seven packs of this medicine, enough for my mother to take for more than two months." I don't know why I didn't just buy eight or ten packs. My mother only needed to buy two packs because she thought the situation would get better soon. According to my father, the country will be in chaos throughout history if it doesn't get people's lives well. Maybe, I do not know what to say or how to say it. I also bought antihypertensive for my father at another pharmacy, and this time, I bought ten packs. The antihypertensive medicine is very cheap. It is only 65 yuan for ten packs, while Mesalazine costs 598 yuan for one pack. When I was leaving work, I saw someone carrying bags of vegetables and food on the road, so I asked, "Is the supermarket still open?" The man said, "It's going to be closed soon, like the last day". Well, I immediately ran to the nearby supermarket. I grabbed a bag of food, including a 20-pound bag of rice, which cost over 270 yuan. When I

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walked into the apartment buildings with a big bag of rice, the security guard at the gate asked in a suspicious and wary tone, "Are you back from the supermarket?" I replied, "I am just back from work!" Tomorrow the supermarket may close. When I went in, the staff was packing and boxing up the remaining items. There were very few items on the shelves, and they all eventually disappeared. From now on, it is said that the supermarket will only provide group buying services to community centers and other organizations and will no longer be open to individuals. Many people had some inexplicable premonitions for this huge disaster at a very early stage.

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THURSDAY, FEB. 20, 2020

It is a sunny and hot day today. Yesterday I completed the task of buying drugs. I was so relieved that I overslept until about 9:00 am this morning. The apartment buildings where I live were built in the mid-1990s. There are nearly 100 buildings, more than 2,000 families gathered in one big complex, no management office, four-way traffic everywhere. Now it is blocked, leaving only one exit, guarded by security. The average person's premonition is always far from the truth. Most of the time, ordinary people live with this unreliable intuition. However, life can be puzzling and full of mystery if you believe in its existence. Speaking of premonitions, as early as the trade war, some people began to be worried about the future. I used to go for a walk in Binjiang Park, now called Hankou Jiangtan Park, where every day some older men get together to talk about national affairs. When the trade war between the United States and China started, some people got sand in their hearts. For example, an old guy stored more than 400 pounds of rice at home, in case of an accident, saying that, "According to his family's population, the rice would be ready to eat by next year, that is, April 2020, and that the rice would not have worms in cold weather." I felt a little ridiculous, but I was also very depressed. I'm not interested in the country's future. I can't help but be concerned about my future life. I think that if we keep going like this, 2020 will not be a good year. It's surprising how many things come back to haunt me. On December 10, 2019, my mother suddenly became ill. According to her later recollection, she was frying vegetables on the stove at noon when she suddenly felt chill all over her body, followed by weakness, dizziness, vomiting, diarrhea, and pain in her limbs. The first time I saw her, I thought she had a bad cold. I gave her some cold medicine and let her rest in bed. She started to have a fever at night and took a few more pills.

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After the usual series of tests, everything was normal except for the potassium deficiency, and the index was only 2.7. We thought it would not be a big problem, so we gave her some anti-inflammatory injections, potassium supplements, and prescribed medicine. I figured she would be fine. However, the doctor asked her to be hospitalized immediately, shouting that it would kill her if she was not hospitalized! We didn't know what was going on, so we hurriedly went through the procedure. She was admitted to the emergency room of the internal medicine department. After that my mother continued to have a high fever. The chief of the emergency medicine department, a female doctor, who her hospital admonished for telling the truth about Covid-19, was very concerned about my mother. The other doctors were also very nervous, whispering, "Another one with a fever, what the hell is going on?" The other doctors were very nervous and whispered, "Another one with a fever?" Afterward, my mother had a nucleic acid test, which was an exception at the time, and the results came back a few days later but it was negative. My mother was hospitalized on Saturday. The following Monday, we saw the Central Hospital filled with patients early in the morning, most of them with fever. Strangely enough, on Tuesday, the number of patients dropped back to normal. In any case, my mother was treated in time and was discharged from the hospital. After that, my father started to have a fever, chills, body aches, and dry cough, probably because of the infection. However, he insisted on not going to the hospital, took medicine at home, stayed in bed, and recovered naturally after a week. It was said that the number of feverish patients in Wuhan started to increase again. My mother went to the gastroenterology department of the central hospital for her routine outpatient visit. By this time, the doctors were already very nervous. They said that my mother was bold to come to the hospital at such a time. They told her to get her medication, go home as soon as possible, and not leave the house. After that, I forgot the exact time but my colleagues in the unit received a message on WeChat that there were many infected patients with highly contagious viruses in the seafood

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market, reminding everyone to take precautions. There was a lot of discussion for a while, but there was no way to confirm the truth. Then the media started to dispel the rumors. And then we reached a situation like this. During this period, there was another significant event. Before New Year's Day, my sister-in-law was back from overseas. My parents, who never go to church, were persuaded by my sister-in-law to go to church for worship. My sister-in-law's father was also baptized. So far, we are all in good health. Indeed, we are all under God's protection. Thank God everything is alright! Today the monitoring of the apartment buildings seems to have calmed down a bit. The number of patrolling personnel from the authorities seems to have decreased. When I came home from work in the evening, only two CCP volunteers were at the gate. When they saw me, they greeted me warmly, "Are you off work?". I'm not sure what is in their mind. One day they are freezing. Another day they are hot. It's just like they caught a cold. However, now the community service center does not allow the general residents to go out. Supermarkets have also closed, and residents shopped through the WeChat groups. Online shopping makes it a big problem for sick residents, especially those seriously ill who need to buy medicine. The government officers then let the community service center in charge. As soon as the news got out, the community center immediately received prescription sheets and medical insurance cards from 20 to 30 residents in their critical illness conditions. Some of them even dropped cash. The most important thing is that from tomorrow onwards, the task of buying medicine for these seriously ill patients was given to me. Taking care of those sick people is a good deed and must be done correctly, but if I make a mistake with money or if the medicine is out of stock, I will be the one to be scolded. As for those non-critical patients, the community service center has also thought of another way to buy medicine: to leave it to the community

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center CCP members of the residents to finish it. It's a temporary release from quarantine homes to get some fresh air, and they should become volunteers at such times, even if they don't want to. In our words, CCP members are not so easy to be, and now is the time to realize their unique attributes as CCP members. Honestly, I'm depressed. The lockdown is being extended. I don't know where the end is. A person is not an object that can be put in a room and ignore the impact of time. All kinds of contradictions and problems emerge together. How to take care of the sick, the elderly, needy residents who have lost their income, etc.? How to deal with them, and where are the solutions?

(Medicine purchased for community residents)

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FRIDAY, FEB. 21, 2020

There was scattered rain in the morning, and the sky cleared up by noon. However, it was too hot to stand in the sun for long. Today, the monitoring of the apartment building remained the same, with no significant changes. Another colleague and I, along with two young volunteers, took a cab from a community service center early in the morning to the pharmacy on Huang Shi Lu Road to buy medication for residents with serious illnesses. As a result, the number of residents who entrusted the community service center to purchase medicine increased, and the cab was filled with medical records. The government mandates that communities buy drugs for their residents, but the enforcement varies from community to community. There were many sighs of surprise as we carried the bags of medical records off the trunk, adding to the pressure on the pharmacy. The site was still overcrowded. It was clear that the different community service centers have different rules. Some communities just issued a certificate for residents to buy drugs from the pharmacy on their own, while the pharmacy only received community service centers according to the rules. There were many questions and even arguments. A 70-year-old man said that he had run out of medication a week ago and had come here three times without getting it. He said he would rather die. The security guards maintaining order were yelling and shouting, making a mess of the scene worse. The process of buying drugs at this pharmacy is similar to going to the hospital. First, you must go through the so-called "linked procedure" as if you were registered at the hospital; then, you must submit a prescription at the counter, set the price, settle the payment and finally pick up the drugs. Like my previous experience, we queued up in the morning to get a number and could not enter the pharmacy until about 5:00 pm. It was a real mess to hold a mountain of information and face

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such a troublesome procedure, and when we were able to figure out the process, we found that much of the information was not complete. For example, some residents did not provide their medical insurance card passwords, some did not give enough money, and some only had an ID card and no medical insurance card. In the morning, the community center handed over all the information, saying that it was not that simple and was difficult. All in all, the four of us were busy and confused until the pharmacy was closed. Only half of the applications were processed. We still must go back tomorrow. The obstacles have been overwhelming, and it has become a common problem to change the orders overnight. To this day, filling out all kinds of forms is still the core work of the communities, and transporting patients is always delayed until the night as if it is only safe at night. With such a big event, we can't say that the leaders don't work hard, but they spend most of their time talking and talking in big and small meetings. The community service center is overwhelmed by the flood of orders that are coming in. As a whole, pandemic prevention has now taken on a particular shape and is gradually getting on track, yet various conflicts are becoming increasingly prominent. Many people living in this city do not understand what the city is and what urban life is. If pandemic prevention is only remedied by isolation, it makes sense that there will be many crises. This is not fearmongering. Living in a city, people will die if there is a lack of food, oil, salt, water, electricity, and gas. The relationship between the dike and the anthill is clear to everyone. Some people often talk about it even though. in reality, people will turn a blind eye to their relationship. This is the popular "virtue" of people. When I left the management center, I saw a trader put bags of vegetables next to the exit of the building complex. He was waiting for the residents, who could come out of the gate to buy stuff. I went up to ask for the cost. They told me that the bags cost 80 yuan. I thought to myself: "This is just some cabbage, radish; how can this provide nutrition

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for the elderly, children, and the sick? And with such high prices, we don't see any policies and measures to subsidize low-income residents in need. Some people tease those banks are closed, so even if subsidies are given, there is no place for those people to get them. I have already spent more than $10,000 in this short time. What is the situation of other residents in greater difficulty? As far as I know, many people have not eaten meat for a long time, and other foods such as beans are also in short supply and hard to find." When I came home from work, I saw dozens of men and women standing under the streetlights at the building gate. They were standing about two meters apart from each other, not moving, not saying a word, like a neatly arranged wooden pile. I could not help but ask the gatekeeper: "What is this?" The guy said rudely, "It's none of your business." That made me nervous. It was a bit of a shock to see such a situation in an empty neighborhood at night. After a long walk, I met an acquaintance from the community. He told me that residents had come to pick up their group purchases. The delivery man had not yet arrived, so they were standing in a line like this. I still find it very strange. After all, it's so late and they are all standing so straight, so neatly and quietly, I even think their heights were eerily similar.

(Community residents lining up to buy medicine)

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SATURDAY, FEB. 22, 2020

The weather was clear and sunny. Standing in the sunshine, it doesn't feel like winter anymore. The plum blossoms in the area continue to open, and their fragrance is very strong. Several Magnolia plants also spread their snow-white petals. In our area, Magnolia is the tree that blooms after the plum blossom. The huge buds bloom under the sunlight without green leaves. At this moment, in this large city known as China's land transportation hub, more than 10 million people are experiencing the misery and silence of life in their rooms, through walls and glass windows. Many can cry and hiss ...... But many have not yet had the chance to yell and scream. In the afternoon, when we finally got out of the car with the medicine we had bought for the residents, the skilled volunteer held up her phone with great interest and enthusiastically took our pictures. Her focusing and persistent look seemed to prove that life is perfect if you want it to be. I have always been a geek. In addition to solitary entertainment, I also love to think, I also hope that I can clearly understand the purpose of life, but this may be an escape from life or self-deception. I remember when we heard from our colleagues that there was a very contagious virus spreading around us. All I could think was that the community would be busy again and that it would not be a good spring season. People who are used to being lazy have an instinctive fear of working overtime, and as we are always volunteers, our overtime here is always unpaid. But the media soon dispelled the rumors, assured us that there was nothing to worry about, and immediately pacified the mood. I have not watched TV or read a newspaper for a long time now, but there is always a desire and instinct to catch information that I think is good for me. I was alerted about the virus around January 20, when the

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media stopped dispelling rumors. I remember seeing a colleague's video on my cell phone, which I think he recorded himself. He went to the emergency room of a hospital for some reason and said that he could see several dead bodies lying on the floor there at any time, which was particularly frightening. Through the video, you can see health care workers running in and out, people crying, a person lying on the floor seemingly dead, some patients waiting to be seen standing or sitting on the sidelines, no expression, and many without masks. Some netizens appealed to wear masks! To wear a mask ...... By January 21, the number of people wearing masks began to increase. By the 22nd, fewer people were taking the subway and bus. On this day, an older man in the community had suddenly died. He had been suffering from lung disease and was in critical condition that morning. He was rushed to the hospital but was already dead by the time he reached the hospital. On the 23rd early morning, when I suddenly saw the news of the Wuhan city lockdown, I felt like I'd fallen into an ice cave. The people's top priority was to buy masks and medical alcohol. On the second day of the Lunar New Year, all the community members went to work. Since then, the community service center has been receiving news of fever and illness. The government issued a circular for community-based isolation, reporting, screening, transporting febrile patients for medical treatment, and providing vaccination services to the families of the patients and all residents. Some relief supplies also began to enter the Community center; however, there was a severe shortage of beds in the hospital, and families came in crying to get a bed for the sick. After the Community center workers told them they could not help, some residents carried the patients to the community center. A young couple came in and cried for an entire day. The center agreed to report to government authorities to find a bed for them. Unfortunately, the patient died the following day. Complaints flooded the community center. The government ordered the community center worker to quickly do all the pandemic

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prevention work and severely punished any inaction, negligence, and dereliction of duty. The government inspectors began to visit the communities to supervise the pandemic prevention work and deal with imminent problems. Some community workers resigned on their own or just left. From the beginning to the present, several headlines have been particularly prevalent. They include stopping spreading rumors, dispel rumors, wearing masks, sealing off the city, lack of hospital beds, lack of pandemic prevention supplies, isolation, and lockdown...... I worry that more of these headlines will continue to appear and take over our evercramped world and life.

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SUNDAY, FEB. 23, 2020

The weather is still not warm today. The temperature is expected to rise to 19 degrees Celsius tomorrow. The smell of winter is still there, and most of the grass is still dormant. More and more people are now wearing full protective clothing at the gate of complex buildings. Some residents came out to pick up group purchases and had wrapped themselves in white hazmat suits. Even sanitation workers don't wear protective clothing to this extent! At the beginning of lockdown, the community center staffs did not even have masks or rubber gloves. So, I secretly took some from the warehouse and gave them. I was being labeled as a goodman because of my good deeds. Yesterday, the community service center gave some vegetables to residents. Those vegetables were from other cities. The staff was sorting them in the room. A man sweeping the floor was looking at people sorting the vegetables. I can't give anything to him. Who does not need it at this time? Not to mention that the community center must provide vegetables and other items to some widows, older people, and households in need every day. On the way to work, I saw an acquaintance sorting out a pile of mail packages at the gate of the buildings. She has been working as a temporary delivery person at the post office for several years. I was a little surprised and asked her how she could still mail packages. She said she had never stopped doing that. However, recently, the guards at the gate entrance did not allow residents to use the gate, making some residents unable to pick up packages easily, so she had to wait here. At a time like this, nothing seems to run smoothly. I heard a story. A senior colleague's grandson had a high fever. His family spent the entire night in the hospital. The colleague insisted on going to work the following day. He was excited to tell the story of how he carried his grandson to the doctor that night. The hospital workers

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shouted at him from a distance, "Don't come near; you're contagious!" I guess I should have stayed away too. I don't know what other people thought, but I suspect that our boss always pretends not to see these things. On the second day of the Lunar New Year, we learned that one of our colleagues had been admitted to the hospital with a fever and the diagnosis was Covid-19 pneumonia. There was much discussion about what we should do and whether we should be isolated because many people were with the patient on New Year's Eve, but the boss said it would be fine. People asked, "What if we were infected?" He kept saying how it would happen, how it would happen. Finally, he said, you guys can quit if you don't want to do it. A few young people did leave. From that day onwards, people working in the community service center isolated themselves from their families. At noon, we ate take-out boxed meals at the unit. Why do we dare to eat take-out meals? Because medical authorities have said in the media that take-out will not cause cross-infection. We are all very assured, and now take-out is in great demand, and without a connection, it isn’t easy to order. In other words, you must know someone who knows someone. Generally speaking, to be always clear minded is hard for people. We have always been fascinated by living in a world of chaos. Recently there has been much debate on the Internet about Chinese medicine and Western medicine. A long time ago, I went to a Chinese hospital to see a doctor. Instead of examining me, he asked me one question about my condition and sent me for a blood test and CT without even taking my pulse. I feel that there is no difference between Chinese medicine and Western medicine nowadays or that Chinese medicine is just a legend that no longer exists. I admire Chinese medicine, but I will not go to a Chinese medicine doctor when sick. I will not risk my health to see a Chinese medicine doctor for a severe illness. At lunchtime, the Community center received a series of urgent complaints from the families of patients. The community arranged to send them to the hospital in the morning. The hospital refused to accept

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them because they had no nucleic acid test reports. The patients are stuck in the hospital lobby without treatment, and the hospital guards are not allowing the patients to leave. The patients' families asked the community center workers how they arranged with the hospital in the first place. So, the community center immediately contacted the workers in the branch office while cursing them for being so stupid while doing their jobs. I used to think I was terrible. Now I am even more sure that I am awful. If I were sick and my family was in such a situation, would I be sitting here eating lunch in peace? I heard that some leaders were fired from their positions. I am not sure why. I think they are not and cannot be very different from me and others. In the WeChat workgroup, many communities are complaining that they can't buy insulin anywhere. Some resident patients have been off their medication for three days. It is very urgent. There are also community reports of not being able to buy medicine for mental illness. How can this be?

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MONDAY, FEB. 24, 2020

The temperature today reached a maximum of 25 degrees Celsius. Is spring here? I see the leaves shining in the sun with crystal light ... A loud and clear Chinese curse seems to have broken the silence that had lasted for days after the city had finally resolved its acute bed shortage at the hospital. But unfortunately, the shortage is also triggering long-standing conflicts and antagonisms between the community and its residents. Early this morning, some residents in the area stood on the balcony and cursed the district officials, expressing their dissatisfaction with the current situation of buying food, medicine, and other daily necessities. The city was shut down on the day before New Year's Eve on the 29th day of the lunar month, and it is customary for people to prepare sufficient and abundant food and necessities at home before the Spring Festival. That is why the residents' shopping conflicts were not prominent during the period after the city lockdown. That left ample time for the government to coordinate the materials' deployment, and a smooth transition was not impossible. However, this does not seem to be the case. In the eyes of some leaders, I am afraid that keeping everyone at home to cut off the infection ultimately is the only way to reassure the leadership of their power. If that is the case, it is a highly frightening and potentially catastrophic, inhuman idea, and indeed, this is one side thinking. In a city of more than 10 million people, even at this extreme and exceptional time, it is not only necessary to keep the city running as normally as possible, but it is also a fundamental prerequisite for the smooth running of the pandemic prevention operation. Without a clear understanding of this, "We are a blind man riding a blind horse in the middle of the night." At present, residents have difficulties purchasing food, patients with severe chronic diseases have problems seeking medical treatment, low-

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income families are in an unsustainable situation, and the plight of large and small private entrepreneurs, in particular, is obvious. Of course, it is necessary to mend the fence after the sheep runs away, but how can one understand why the fence is always being repaired. Don't we know how much damage and loss such a mentality will cause to the public? Today, the government issued Circular 18, which negates and corrects Circular 17. One elderly couple reported that their children were not around and had not eaten vegetables at home for several days. They did not participate in group purchases through WeChat, so the community service center sent them some vegetables. The community center gave out gift packs of pandemic prevention items to residents in need. Of course, the quantity was limited. The netizens sent vegetables and disinfection items to some elderly widows and orphans in need. A pregnant woman ready to labor not allowed to the hospital by a cadre who watched the gate. People said that the cadre in charge of the gate was very serious; about his job; even the emperor could not go out if he were on duty. I think he is sick. Some retired residents have run out of cash in their hands, and the bank is not open. What they have is a bank card. What can they do? A fever patient somehow managed to escape from the hospital. There is also a fever patient who has not been able to get into the hospital, and so on. It seems that we can never get rid of the fate of "crossing the river by touching the stones." On the way to work, I saw a small grocery store quietly operating, so I rushed to buy a bag of rice, two bags of salt, and a roll of paper. In such an extraordinary time, some people are taking every opportunity to save themselves. Some are waiting for the government's policy to resettle them. But, of course, some don't worry about anything because someone will bring everything to their door.

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As an unimportant figure in society, I sincerely hope that the grocery store can continue to open. If the streetlights suddenly go out, I hope their windows are still with light……

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TUESDAY, FEB. 25, 2020

Today the temperature is stable at 25 degrees Celsius. As a result, many people took off their cotton coats. It's no exaggeration to say that today, community service center workers are dismissed on time for the first time, which is an essential turn of situation. But every person, group, and organization have their perspective and criteria for judging things. In the past two days, WeChat and QQ groups, including cell phone text messages, have been full of information about the government's efforts to solve the difficulty of buying drugs for patients with severe and chronic diseases. Subsequently, the city has added 50 new designated retail pharmacies for the purchase of medicines. Some residents called to urge the community service centers to help buy medicine early in the morning. But the center is short of the workforce... too busy. Although the government has placed many of its personnel into the community center, they are only responsible for guarding the door. After all, to guard the door is the most important thing. Some people in the community center do not like these cadres from the City Hall. The cadets from the city hall also dislike the cadres in the community. Maybe the cadets from the city hall do not understand what these community service center workers are going through. Today, some government officials went to the community center for inspection. It is said that they have, in some communities, engaged in phishing-style questions with community workers, such as this community service center is very close to the supermarket. It is very convenient for shopping, after all, the family members also need to be taken care of first. In short, they think you would use the working time for shopping. They are also very suspicious. Of course, this does not mean that community center workers in front of them are not respectful unless you do not want to keep your job.

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When a person is in danger, they will be like a cat with four paws on the ground, eyes wide open, ears up, catching all the information around. At least that's how I am now. A colleague issued a community certificate at noon, ready to drive to the supermarket to pick up, and asked who would help. I immediately dropped what I was doing and said, "I'll go, I'll go! Of course, I wanted to take the opportunity to buy some items for my family. Nowadays, most supermarkets only make group purchases with the community. The supermarket we went to allowed us to go in and pick up our goods for ourselves if we had a community certificate. The total cost was over 400 yuan. It may be hard to imagine a few small community center security guards earning only 1,000 yuan or 2,000 yuan a month; They would get together to discuss how to resolve the various conflicts and problems existing in the pandemic prevention operation. Still, it's true, and they found the ultimate solution. However, their final solution was to resort to violence on those who disobey, grab or beat them up. Perhaps you think they are childish or ridiculous, but they have a theoretical basis, and it is this theoretical basis that we must face up to. That basis is a saying: The minority obeys the majority. Many people and cultures have understood that the so-called subordination of the minority to the majority can only lead to the majority subordinating the minority and all are subordinating a few or even one person. Only when the rights and interests of every person, every specific living person, are protected can the rights and interests of the so-called majority be safeguarded. There is no such thing as a majority. Each of us can only be in a minority position. Almost without exception, those who have shouted for the majority to be obeyed by the minority throughout history, have turned themselves into a miserable minority. When you kill off the minority to protect the majority, a minority will emerge from the remaining majority, and so on. However, theories are only theories, and strictly speaking, theories of cultural people are only theories, at least in our case. The theoretical ideals

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of intellectuals are always bound to collapse. That is to say that they are useless. I have limited knowledge, but I love to think about it, especially at times like this. It is raining outside the window...... Spend a whole afternoon helping a patient with a severe chronic illness buy medication.

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WEDNESDAY, FEB. 26, 2020

Early in the morning, the rain that had been falling all night finally stopped, and the temperature dropped, but it was not cold. Today there are police officers at the gate of the entrance of each apartment building. Some say they are policemen from other cities. They withdrew around noon time. I received a call from a house cleaning maid early in the morning, saying that her house was out of rice and noodles. It was surprising that the housekeeper had no food stored in her home when she could go in and out of the area every day. However, I heard that a grocery store still had rice for sale on the way to work, so I contacted the cleaning maid immediately but was told that she had already taken care of it herself. I seem to have a bit of a shopping compulsion. I want to buy something whenever I get the chance, not even thinking about money. I believe this is the expression of internal panic. I envy those cadres of the authorities for their amazing stability. Their lives, no doubt, are beautiful. The last two days, the delivery of the courier was busy. A northern dumpling house is still selling frozen dumplings, 60 yuan a catty. The owner is from the northeast and is optimistic that the pandemic in Wuhan will soon be over. Colleagues said that there were more cars on the street than before. All of this seems to be a sign and corresponds to the media reports of the pandemic. Some volunteers were recruited by the government and assigned to the community service center. They are said to be paid 100 yuan a day, and their main job is to help residents in the community buy medicine and provide other services for five hours a day. Someone from out of town called the community center and asked for electronic proof of return to Wuhan. The person who answered the phone felt a bit baffled but later learned from the leader that new rules had been implemented recently. Community workers act negligently, but

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it does not mean that community people do not have a prudent side. Being tactful and sophisticated have always been the basic skills of those experienced community workers, who know very well what to say and what not to say, but of course, there are many silly defects. In recent years, the community has become very sensitive to the issuance of certificates for fear of liability. Self-preservation is a human instinct. The group purchase channel seems to be relatively smooth, but the high prices make residents dissatisfied. I saw a resident's group purchase items: About two pounds of cabbage; A couple of pounds of dried soybean curd; A few lotuses’ roots; A few carrots. They cost more than 120 yuan. As early as when people were snapping up masks, there was an online debate about whether the government should control prices. Both sides of the debate have overlooked the essential factor, which is reality. The reality is that on the one hand, after decades of economic reform, private enterprises and small businesses have become commonplace, and the market already exists, so it's not easy to exercise complete control. On the other hand, the government has always been dominant in the market, and state-owned enterprises are still huge. Control and adjustment are carried out every day. Control of the market is necessary for the departments to obtain benefits, and it is a manifestation and symbol of power. Ignoring this fundamental status makes the arguments of both sides appear to be useless. The epicenter of a storm is always remarkably calm. At the center of the pandemic, those of us fortunate enough not to have been infected continued our increasingly simple, closed lives. We knew nothing about the people who lived on another floor, in another room. We needed information from those thousands of miles away on the Internet to confirm our presence, suspicions, and doubts ...... We don't know if ambulances are going on the streets. They pass by unhindered and in silence. A colleague shaved his head, not by himself or his family members, but by an older man on the road with a shaving pick.

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THURSDAY, FEB. 27, 2020

Overcast, with occasional light rain, the temperature dropped, but it did not feel cold. The primary trend of the pandemic has been clearly observed. Most of the new confirmed cases are pre-existing patients. The community service center focuses on double-clearance. All suspected patients and close contacts in the residential area are admitted to a hospital and isolated. Although there was some friction and obstruction, the trend should not change. Thus, community pressure has been relieved. The most crucial factor in this, in my opinion, is that beds come with timely admission of patients. Even if there are no specific drugs but only general supportive treatment, the process of pandemic prevention can now get back on track. Another community has a family in close contact with the covid-19. The community service that night wanted to send them to the Fangcang Tented Hospital. The information received earlier by the family is to go to the hotel for isolation rather than to the hospital. The head of the family, a reporter, asks the community staff to show the government documents on implementing mandatory isolation at a hospital. They want the notice specific to their family to be isolated in Fangcang Tented Hospital. The staff does not have that notice. The two sides deadlocked for more than an hour. A community worker came home from work and confronted the City Hall officers who were guarding the door of the small areas where he lived. After the incident, the officers who had been placed into the community took the video footage of the incident and sued the community worker to the disciplinary committee, making him apologize. However the community worker was shaking with anger and had a strong grievance.

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In the morning, I disinfected a residential area by spraying 84 disinfectants. On the way, I saw a homeless man sitting on the steps of the roadside in a ragged shirt, covered in dirt, and naturally without a mask. The community security guard shouted, and the vagrant fled in fear. Some of the information on the Internet rumors are not false. There are different people as if it is a natural law. On the top of our leaders, there are leaders. Under the civil servants, there are coordinators, temporary workers, community workers, and of course, there are beggars and vagrants. I am just stating the phenomenon and the facts that I witnessed. Since the establishment of the community service center, there has been a negative attitude to the work. There seems to be only one reason: the pay is too little, less than a fraction of what government officers or city workers earn. On average, community workers earn a little over 2,000 yuan a month with no benefits. Their retirement status is assigned by the Social Security Department to the temporary social mobility window section. Suppose the monthly salary of community workers is increased to four or five thousand yuan. In that case, their motivation and enthusiasm will immediately improve. A resident called to complain that he asked the community to help him buy medicine. Unfortunately, the money on his medical insurance card was gone, but no medicine was given. What can I do about this? Strictly speaking, pandemic prevention should not be limited only to preventive medicine. As we all know, there are increasing difficulties and conflicts in the daily life of citizens. Fear is no longer limited to being infected. Scientifically speaking, a city is always based on its primary sectors’ full and efficient functioning of its primary sectors such as food, water, electricity, gas, civil assistance, and so on, especially in these extraordinary times when the citizens are blocked and isolated. It is extremely dangerous to have the city shut down, and all businesses cease to operate. It is not impossible to have a humanitarian disaster as a result. Of course, my concern is only about the losses and dangers we as people

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may have to endure and nothing else. It was said that the government would organize the five major supermarket companies to implement a system of distribution of vegetables to the public ten pounds for ten dollars, with the government subsidizing the difference. That is undoubtedly good, at least to solve the most food problem of the public, especially for the people with most difficulties. The specific implementation method is unknown. I left work early today, while other colleagues were busy delivering supermarket group purchases for residents until 7:00 pm. I have always been like this with my job, lacking a sense of responsibility and mission.

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FRIDAY, FEB. 28, 2020 (part xiv)

It was raining all day, and it felt like winter again. It feels like spring is still far from us, maybe because we have already missed the spring. We desperately need sunny weather and increasing temperatures. I am the only one who seems to have heard of the news of the introduction of 10 yuan for 10 pounds of vegetable packets to the public. Providing a wide range of services to the public is a good thing that can benefit the people, even if it is just a suggestion. But, of course, it involves a lot of government spending. It's not easy to distribute that much food to millions of families, but isn't that what our government is best at? It's just a short period of cooperative purchasing and distribution for the government in the pandemic period. My knowledge is limited, and I am always skeptical in the face of all kinds of news. We know that Korea has recently been hit hard by the Covid-19 virus from videos on the Internet. Daegu, a place with a surge of patients, faces the same problem: a lack of beds, medical facilities, and doctors in hospitals. Through the video, we saw the mayor of Seoul shouting to Daegu to send their patients here. There is no doubt that this is a practical rescue package. When we were faced with the same dilemma, I thought the same thing. I believe many people in Wuhan thought the same thing. It is not difficult for us to transfer some critically ill patients to other cities with good medical facilities and capabilities. But why do they not do it? I believe that those experts and authorities, those influential netizens, will not be unaware of this. I'm not sure if I'm thinking in the right way. A video from a foreign country makes me feel emotional. At lunchtime, a group of people had nothing to do and chatted about international relations. They talked about how the U.S. was taking advantage of the disaster to attack us, The U.S. does not give us aid, it sends experts to spy on us in terms of treatment and virus research. The

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U.S. was overbearing and unreasonable in the international arena, The virus was related to the U.S. Army during the Wuhan Military Sports Game. The information came from a variety of sources. It was largely based on the Global Times. It shows how influential the Global Times is and how close, rather than ambiguous, their relationship is with our community workers. The community service center was responsible for maintaining order in the area and organizing the residents of each building to collect all goods in order from the square. As the quantity ordered was huge, it was enough to keep the community center staff busy for an afternoon. At present, most of the residents use this way of shopping for food, but many older people do not know how to use their cell phones to shop, so they cannot join a shopping group. Of course, the situation is different in each community. The shopping method is not the same from community to community. I did not participate because I was responsible for interfacing with the units that come to the residents' neighborhoods to disinfect them. At noon, I received a notice from the community center that the government department would send professionals to disinfect various residential areas. The community service center sent someone to the main entrance of the apartment buildings to meet with the disinfection unit to ensure the implementation of disinfection. Because of the urgency, I put on my raincoat after lunch and rushed to the entrance, which was a long way from the neighborhood committee office, to wait for the disinfection unit to arrive. It was raining, and the wind was cold. So, I felt that it was not easy for those guarding the area. At about 5:20, we finally saw the disinfection vehicle coming. The first person to get off the car was a woman in her fifties who crossed the road with her hand raised and crossed the barrier, muttering: "What the hell did I get? The specific task of disinfection is a volunteer service organization called Blue Sky Disinfection. They are some very good young people who volunteer.

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SATURDAY, FEB. 29, 2020

Finally, the rain has stopped. The temperature is rising. Looking out of the window, I see the sunlight that had passed through the clouds. The news about 10 yuan 10 pounds of vegetable packets was clarified. It turns out that supermarkets have this deal. But only for residents in need rather than for all people. Compared to others around me, my sources of information are minimal. With everyone in lockdown, people who must go to work are at risk of infection. Still, they also gain some freedom, which may be an advantage to save themselves if something drastic happens. In my opinion, it is everyone's responsibility and instinct to save themselves, no matter what time they are in or where they are. Those in deep trouble and who lose the ability to protect themselves are a test of conscience for others around them, organizations, and society. In general, very few people would throw stones at people falling in deep water, but not many would take the risk to save them either. Many are only willing to give a helping hand under the premise of ensuring their safety. What about in these extraordinary times? I am not a Christian. I do know that those who are devout are with God in the most dangerous times. They are strong, resilient, have the strength to cross rivers, and yet are full of tenderness as they spread their love to those around them. I always want to see such people. The Internet and media provide a lot of information regarding the plight of foreigners stranded in Wuhan. Still, the people living in a lockeddown city don't understand and are surprised and worried about them. I have personally seen homeless vagrants wandering in the empty streets. I think what we should be most concerned about is not that they might be the spreaders of the virus, but whether they have been helped and adequately housed. If they are in a city or place that cannot afford to shuttle them, the City Hall should acknowledge the reality, not cover it

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up. It's not terrible to be incapable but covering it up, and whitewashing is a desecration of conscience. We have been living in isolation for over a month. Suppose we hadn't turned a blind eye to the crisis or hadn't wavered and hesitated. In that case, we might have had a different outcome, a different feeling, and a different view today. Although the mark of crisis is sealed in the hearts of all of us, human beings can often survive crises and avoid them. Sometimes the crisis is clear, and sometimes it lurks in all directions. Although there are many doubts, I still feel that the outbreak is at a relatively stable stage. We have had no new suspected patients with fever for three days. Their close contacts have been isolated except for those with special circumstances. Even with new suspected or even confirmed patients, if we can implement and control scientifically instead of avoiding responsibility and abusing power, we will be able to investigate and eliminate the source under the current conditions. That also in a short time. This method is not impossible. In the current situation, we are more concerned about our immediate lives. Such as, whether patients with other illnesses can receive timely treatment. Whether the medicines we need can be provided, whether the supplies can be fulfilled. And whether the goods are affordable. However, if we turn a blind eye to this, secondary disasters will not be far away. In the past two days, leaders have visited the community to inspect, investigate and give instructions. One of the leaders said: "This is an extraordinary time. The most important task is to achieve zero new patients and to maintain it for 15 days. That is the only way to reopen the city. Thus, residents must endure these days and remind all residents that this is not the time to indulge, not be tempted by finery, but to simplify life as much as possible. Whenever I hear these words, I always feel very frustrated.

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The leaders of the commerce department explained the situation of the ten yuan ten pounds of vegetable packets. They said this policy only targets low-income people. The city cannot extend it to every household because they cannot afford it. I could not understand what he tried to say. Maybe I am not smart enough to understand his points. Recently, I have been thinking about that. Unless all of us who live in our homes are malnourished and weak, even the common cold can kill all healthy people, not to mention those suffering from uremia, leukemia, heart disease, cancer, and other grave diseases. As far as I know, there are two South China markets in Jianghan District. One is the well-known South China Seafood Wholesale Market. The other is the South China Fruit Wholesale Market. These two markets are not related, but they are very close to each other. It is said that the fruit market is also infected. The amount of infected people is more significant than in other areas around the market. Is this due to the large flow of people in the fruit market, or are more people coming to the wholesale market by car? Are these two markets employing the same team of porters, or are they living a different lifestyle than the general population, such as another way of cooking and eating? It may be worthwhile for professionals to investigate. My colleagues talked about the United States again during the break. But surprisingly, the tone was completely different from yesterday. The criticism of the United States became a very faint murmur. I don't know what happened. These people are free to do whatever they want.

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MARCH

SUNDAY, MAR. 1, 2020

It is a cloudy day. The wind whistled in my ears as I walked down the street. Several fruit and vegetable stores are busy with group-buying business and do not receive individual patrons. If someone asks, the store owners either ignore or yell: "Not for sale!" Quite domineering. Most of the pharmacies were open. All of them had a table at the entrance. Customers were standing behind the table to tell the pharmacies the name of the medicine. Some small grocery stores will occasionally open their back doors quietly. Sometimes I hear a sound from a distance. When I look closer, the door is still closed. I was passing a small store that sells stir-fry foods. I saw a woman kicking the door: "What are you afraid of? Infected people were all caught." The owner peeked out of the door. She bent over to reveal a face and whispered:" What do you want?" I spent ten yuan on buying a bag of fried peanuts, but the woman insisted on going into the store to choose. I feel very depressed and think that it has just begun. However, even if the 10 yuan 10-pound packets don't reach all citizens, we should always grant them to low-income households. When I inquired, I found out that only five vegetable packages were available for the whole community until yesterday, which is too little. What's even stranger is that in the afternoon, I saw that the neighborhood committee was openly selling these 10 pounds for 10-yuan vegetable packets in the

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neighborhood where I live. I asked if only low-income households could buy them, and the answer was that anyone could buy them. So, I purchased two white radishes, four carrots, and two tiny cabbages and weighed them. It's ten pounds, no more and no less. I think it's a good thing to sell 10-pound vegetable packets to the public. It should be available to all citizens. Everyone living in Wuhan is now a disaster victim. These 10 pounds of vegetables are not so cheap, but the public can afford them. At present, due to the closure of the city, there are many barriers. It is challenging for farmers to transport vegetables from their fields into the city. The government can deliver the vegetables directly to the residents. If the city wants, it will solve the shortage of vegetables and bring income to farmers. What a great thing to do, to have the best of both worlds. Strictly speaking, farmers are also victims of the pandemic and have also suffered great losses. Today the community gave out free vegetables to several neighborhoods. Those who came to collect them could get broccoli and a handful of red and green peppers (there were also white radishes but only a dozen in total). The quantity is limited, first come, first served, and when it's gone, it's gone. It was heartbreaking to see those older men who usually have a calm demeanor picking up the pace to the line to get their vegetables. The residents of this area have a good income. In the past, no one wanted these low-quality foods even if they were delivered to their door. But anyway, thanks to the kind people who donated these vegetables, they are saving us. Thank you! I have always heard people say that it is not the time to enjoy life in recent days. It is a victory if we survive. If this is our goal, then nine out of ten times, people will die for sure. I don't understand how those people think. Their lack of common sense is the problem. The community calls on CCP party members to pay a special party member fee, but it is not mandatory. I heard that one CCP member resident paid ￥5,000. This month's salary has not yet been paid.

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I heard that the government had issued a document to give 3,000 yuan of relief to people from other cities stranded in Wuhan. I also heard that this relief would be paid for by the community service center first. I don't know if it's true, but the policy of 3000 yuan is definitely there to give those needed people. Cigarettes were in short supply, and those priced below $20 a pack could not see in-store at all. It is said that the tobacco companies are not working, and the stores are out of stock. Don't they know that some people can lose their lives even if they don't smoke? I heard that a robber broke into the community service center last night. Surprisingly, there are thieves at such times.

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MONDAY, MAR. 2, 2020

It started raining in the afternoon, and the temperature also dropped. The February payroll has not been paid because the bank is not open. That is a ridiculous reason. It is said that 300,000 people left Wuhan city from 2:00 am to 10:00 am after the City Hall issued the order to lock down the city on January 23. What kind of people were those who acted so decisively? But even so, I'm glad for them, even though they were not a group of people who had foresight. Early on, I wondered why we became rabble, mediocre, stupid, and even evil once we were organized in some form. Jean-Paul Sartre said, hell is other people. We are hell to each other. Conscience, compassion, is the bottom line, but it can be breached. That is why people, especially university scholars, call for the preservation of the bottom line. The rescue they offer is education, but people can also sell education as merchandise. So, the Enlighteners pointed the finger at the system. But how can the system be changed? The system is not built and maintained by one person but by all. In the face of rape, some people fear, some rejoice, and some fight. Those who win the fighting can also inflict rape on others. And so, we come back to the starting point. That's faith; yes, faith is the origin of the human spirit. However, faith is not a worldview as we understand it; faith looks beyond the world we live in. There are moments when we are like angels and moments when we are like demons. It's like sometimes we're healthy, and sometimes we're sick and spreading the virus to others. It's like someone saying, "I've worked hard all my life, and I don't feel ashamed standing in front of my family and colleagues. However, I ended up begging for a hospital bed but still couldn't get one. The ending has been predetermined from the beginning, although the chance of each person is different.

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The incident of Dr. Li Wenhua's risky treatment of a Covid-19 virus patient has become a famous name. Still, an investigation report has drawn attention to questions about the doctor's qualifications to practice medicine. What we are facing now is not the difficult situation of the pandemic but the regulation of the practice of medicine. The right to explain the big picture and the last detail is always in the hands of some people. The so-called effects and side effects are unclear. These are not precisely the subjects that medical doctors should continue to study for proof. A non-specialist would also like to know what explanation should be given for the uncertainty of the side effects indicated on the instructions of those proprietary Chinese medicines sold in pharmacies all year round. We all know about the shortcomings of the medical profession, but what is the purpose of putting up a decent face for whoever wants to see it? I am curious to know the outcome of American medicine after such a long period of trial, whether it works or not, and why a response has yet to be made. In my opinion, the so-called pandemic prevention and control is nothing more than the active prevention and self-discipline of the public based on scientific knowledge. For patients, it is active treatment, with beds, facilities, doctors, and drugs. I think it is that simple. The so-called simple, that is to say, there is nothing extra. The premise is to respect science, common sense, and human nature. If not, we will have to sacrifice and struggle with secondary disasters and pay more sacrifices. Today was a relatively quiet day, although some neighborhoods had stroke patients and other patients with fever admitted to the hospital. There were 3,000 yuan of relief money applications from people stranded outside of Wuhan who wanted cash rather than general placement. There is a resident released from isolation asking for volunteers. The cadre of the community service center said he would look into it. It's a way to decline politely.

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Today I bought some salt, MSG, soya sauce, vinegar, soap, and food. These items have not gone up in price much. However, they are still a significant expense for the average person, especially in these extraordinary times. Without money, it is difficult to get around, not to mention that many things are hard to buy, even with cash. We can go in and out of our apartment buildings in neighborhoods every day. Suppose others don't have good organizations to rely on. In that case, I'm afraid they can only reduce their needs to the most basic levels for living. Nobody knows how long the isolation will last. A resident spent 200 yuan on buying 4 pounds of pork. The color of the pork looks fresh.

(Bought vegetables)

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TUESDAY, MAR. 3, 2020

Cloudy day, cold and gloomy. It has been more than a month since the city was locked down on January 23rd. People seem to have become accustomed to this kind of life and have accepted it. Some colleagues have commented that residents eat, sleep, and watch TV each day, so what's the big deal? Others think that some residents treat themselves as emperors, asking for this and that all day long, hating that they can't be served with mountainous delicacies every day. People are always so different. Suppose a courteous government officer is sitting among us right now, looking at our simple faces and expressions. In that case, he may think that more than 10 million citizens of Jiangcheng are living a god-like leisurely life. But, of course, in reality, there are not many officers who are so stupid. They are more intelligent than us. I saw a netizen say on the Internet that Zhong Nanshan is just a person in the system, mythologized. It has always been our tradition to idolize him. As long as we like, we can put any similar person into the position of God, and conversely, we can put him into hell. People intend to criticize others. In my opinion, they should do themself to see if they can do better. I believe this saying is not wrong: "The system is an exceptionally terrible thing. It is a stirring human spirit and not just the physical body of the immense machine. " In this machine, any person can only follow its rules to think and roll. That has little to do with whether you are a genius or a fool. The system is the embodiment of power. As long as in the system, you can only be a puppet of the system. No one in this world has ever really been able to control the system, not Hitler, not Qin Shi Huang. It is always the system that holds each of us. Mastering power is only an illusion. Words express the degree of civilization and uncivilization of a society. It is inauspicious and incomprehensible to say that the people of Wuhan made a huge sacrifice. Sacrifice has always been a voluntary act,

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not a passive command. The active sacrifice is noble. This sacrifice is miserable. The most basic meaning of humanitarianism is that people do everything possible to help the people there when there is a disaster instead of trying to sacrifice the people there. Mr. Nanshan Zhong's team predicts that the city closure in Wuhan needs to be maintained until the end of April. I don't know what he is based on. Mr. Wenhong Zhang thinks that if we don't resume work soon, the death rate of the population will be higher than the death rate of the new coronary pneumonia. I think this is a realistic judgment, although he is still speaking from a doctor's perspective. The lockdown of the city itself is a very risky move. The lockdown of apartment buildings is riskier than a city lockdown. Failure to fully understand the potential consequences of this danger will inevitably lead to recklessness and irrationality. They focus all efforts on treating patients with the virus that leaves the treatment of other patients behind; They locked down cities and small communities to prevent the pandemic and leave people's basic daily needs behind; That would have brought about more inevitable, severe serious secondary disasters. Mending the sheep pen is a desperate measure when the sheep have already been lost. It's a desperate attempt to salvage the situation after paying a painful price. It's not a performance or a success. But, of course, this is only my personal opinion. More people think we should first solve the immediate problem, the future of things to think about later. There are a lot of stranded foreigners asking for relief money. I believe the best way is to send them to their hometown as soon as possible under the premise of properly accommodating their lives in Wuhan. I don't know why the local government didn't think of this and why they didn't set up a convenient channel for them to return home safely. The wages are finally paid today. Today, I received more vaccination materials, such as masks and isolation clothing—a little bit of hindsight. I had the feeling of mending

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a sheep pen after the sheep were lost. It seems that the housing managers in my area have finally woken up. They are giving out free vegetables to the apartment owners for the first time. The quality and variety are much better than what the community center is giving out now. One owner asked the community center to help him buy cat food, saying that his cat was starving to death. Some of my colleagues thought this owner was ridiculous. However, I felt that saving the cat was also saving lives. So, I agreed to help him purchase the cat food. In the evening, the owner called again and said he had purchased cat food from the internet and thanked me for my understanding.

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WEDNESDAY, MAR. 4, 2020

It feels like the long-lost sunshine is filling the city again. Although there are still a little over 100 new confirmed patients every day, it feels like the so-called inflection point has arrived. We all agree that most new confirmations come from suspected patients and close contacts (mostly family members). Although there are febrile symptoms in the general population, patients are being treated with the relatively large number of hospital beds available. Their contacts and activities can be traced, so widely spread and cross-contamination is unlikely. Even though the complete lifting of the lockdown is still a matter of time, it is a matter of urgency to resume work and the regular operation of the city as soon as possible. Hospitals must return to normal working conditions as quickly as possible, and outpatient clinics should start treating patients normally. Many hospitals, especially the central hospital, have been severely depleted. After more than a month of accumulation, more patients are waiting for treatment. The public can't wait to see doctors, and patients with serious illnesses can't afford to wait. Therefore, there should not be the slightest hesitation. There are dozens of people in the community center, plus drivers and volunteers, so eating every day is a big problem. Nowadays, most of the meals are more than 40 yuan each so the center can hardly afford it, not to mention the taste of these meals is very poor. Therefore, grocery shopping and cooking is an essential part of the community's work every day. I received a call from the natural gas company about setting up a gas fee collection machine in the community, which has been hotly debated for over a week. If more than one natural gas company were competing instead of the current exclusive monopoly, I believe the progress would be much faster.

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We heard from the media that another doctor died in the line of duty at Central Hospital. We pray for the doctors we are familiar with and hope to see their faces and figures again soon, especially those of the young ones. I also hope that after this life-and-death struggle with the pandemic, the young interns can become full-fledged doctors and nurses, instead of having to go around and find connections to get a place in the hospital as they did before. They are all qualified and excellent health care workers who have passed the life and death test. Some leaders from the community center suggested that it is good to give relief to those in need who are stranded in Wuhan, but what if these reliefs run out? It makes sense that the most fundamental solution is to send them safely back to their hometowns as soon as possible. We heard from the media that Iranians were swarming into the temple to lick the wall and pray. They said they were not afraid of the virus. Let's hope there are no viruses on the walls. We heard from the media that the Tokyo Marathon was held as scheduled. Some people say that the Japanese are stupid... The Japanese who have won so many Nobel Prizes are stupid?

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THURSDAY, MAR. 5, 2020

The weather was sunny and warm. It has been more than thirty days since the city was closed. Yet, standing in an empty and silent area, I can still feel the latent breath of spring. Some trees have sprouted, and plum blossoms are still in full bloom. But some people have passed away. They can no longer see the same scenery year after year. People who live in isolation are very sensitive to sound and are eager to listen. At the moment, through birdsong and the slightest sound of the wind, we can hear people whispering, arguing, and asking questions. Yesterday morning a woman yelled from the balcony, causing a flurry of window openings. We later found out that the woman was arguing with her daughter and was so depressed that she went to the balcony to vent her frustration. At such times, we are most afraid of hearing crying. Unknowingly, the devastating pandemic is beginning to recover. There are already discussions on the internet about how we and society have changed since the disaster. I feel that life is changing, but I am afraid that the changes they are expecting or recognizing will not happen. If anything, I hope to gain some real insight into ourselves and even into the human mental condition after this disaster. I hope that we will reflect on ourselves, be more cautious about our past judgments, and learn to analyze and discern. For more than 30 days, we have seen the nobility and the shamelessness. We admire the bravery and true love that come from the bottom of their hearts at the moment, and every tear washed and flushed our souls. And those who use clever words to cover up the lies, evil deeds make us vomit in disgrace. The dodging indifference and ambiguity make us feel frustrated and cold. But all this will soon pass, and we will return to our old lives. We are good at forgetting the past. We don't hesitate to weave suffering with

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the best words to forget. Maybe we don't want or need to change. Is that the case? I don't know. In God's eyes, we are sheep, always wandering in the lost land. Now I just hope the virus will dissipate in the sunlight and stay away from kind people forever. All-day long, we at the community center were handing out goods. We received many Medical Gowns and other items that we, especially the medical staff needed more than ten days ago. We received vegetables and some rice and oil from the government, and we were responsible for distributing them to the residents in need in each district. Some people bought some soya products such as dried tofu, which made the family feel happy. The children ate them all with great pleasure. The colleague also seemed very excited when talking about this story. Most of the retired seniors use bank passbooks. When banks are not open, they cannot withdraw money, and now they need cash most. A few of us smokers bought some cigarettes from a grocery store. The store opened a small window, and the owner handed out the cigarettes. We swiped them with WeChat pay on our cell phones to complete the transaction. It reminded me of when farmers in the suburbs sneaked into the city to sell rice during a planned economy. They were carrying the rice packets in baskets and asked in a quiet voice: Do you want rice, fresh rice, no need for food stamps, very cheap.

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FRIDAY, MAR. 6, 2020

It was a cloudy day, but the temperature was not too bad. We still wore cotton coats and sweated when we walked and climbed the stairs. We know from the media that there are still more than 120 new Covid-19 virus cases in Wuhan, probably due to the large number of suspected patients accumulated in the early days and the long latent period of the virus. I heard that the government has started naming zeronew-case neighborhoods, communities, and streets. Will the government gradually lift the closure according to the severity of the pandemic in each place? I think this would be a perfect approach. It will allow people to return to everyday life gradually. At the same time, it will focus on more effective prevention, control, and relief in some areas where the pandemic is most profound. The natural gas company issued a notice to the community to do an excellent job of helping residents, especially those in need, to purchase natural gas tanks refilled. The content of the message is straightforward. However, the notice uses an unquestionable tone that makes people feel that the company has the power of city gas management. The power is everywhere. Every citizen must listen to the instructions from various departments and companies. It has long been integrated into every part of our lives. It is said that some small areas are selling frozen meat for 10 yuan per half kg to residents, causing crowds to gather. That is evidence of the people's plight in their lives. I learned from the Internet that residents of a small district in Green Mountain Complex were sticking their heads out of the window, shouting at the leaders who came to inspect the district's service work, "Fake, Fake, Fake." This is like the residents banging on the balcony for help in the early days of the pandemic. There are many ways to express ourselves in an emergency.

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One neighborhood resident tried to leave the building to buy medicine. A kind-hearted police officer stopped him and helped him buy the medicine. The resident got the medicine but said he didn't have money, and finally, the community center had to pay for it. During the screening of households in a building complex, it was found that one household had only one mask for the whole family with three people taking turns using it. I learned from the media, that an older woman both knelt on the floor to express her gratitude to the medical staff. China has had a tradition of kneeling since ancient times. Kneel to the emperor, kneel to your parents, kneel to your elders, and kneel to your benefactors. The Japanese kneel as if they were sitting down, but the Chinese kneel for real. I believe that the older people's feelings are sincere and from the heart, but do not let the young people learn. Young people should not learn this custom from centuries and thousands of years ago. The issue of granting relief to foreigners in need who are stranded in China has not gone well because the community is not sure precisely the criteria for relief. Some people also questioned why residents could not be given relief money when foreigners could be given it. The average resident was unable to work for more than a month and had no income. Prices are much higher than they used to be. Many residents must go to the doctor, buy medicine, and pay for expenses such as gas. All the bills needed to be paid without a penny discount. How difficult it is for those who have no savings to live. Should their difficulties not be considered?

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SATURDAY, MAR. 7, 2020

It was sunny, and the temperature reached 19 degrees Celsius. The weather forecast says it will rain again tomorrow. For the first time, the number of confirmed new cases dropped to two digits, about 97. That is undoubtedly meaningful and indicates that the outbreak is coming to an end. But, of course, this is only my judgment. It is perfectly normal to see a doctor when you have a disease, and the patient must get timely treatment. In the addition, the residents must report any headache or fever to the community. However, this situation should not continue for much longer. Lockdown of cities and even residential areas is an extreme prevention and control strategy that is extremely risky and bound to bring immeasurable losses and harm. But, of course, I can't help it if you say it is a necessary sacrifice. The mayor and the high officers of Wuhan suppress public opinion covering up the pandemic that was a major cause of the city's lockdown, is a dereliction of the mayor and the related government officers. A pandemic that did not deserve such a tragic price may help us understand the relationship between power and responsibility, between citizens and administration, and how important it is to establish a transparent system of accountability and related laws to prevent similar mistakes and tragedies in the future. The People Daily published an article entitled "Breaking the Concept of Gratitude and Virtue of the Public to the Leading Cadres.” I didn't look at the content, but the title is good. After more than a month of living in seclusion, we have witnessed a human tragedy and endured severe pain that was not needed. Therefore, we should become sober, not follow blindly, be brave enough to express ourselves, and strive to protect every citizen's justice and rights. In my opinion, the basis for preventing the spread of the pandemic is to admit as many patients as possible, disclose information to citizens,

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and spread scientific knowledge. Without this foundation, the spread of the pandemic is inevitable. The United States and Japan do not seem to be in the dire situation that some people expected. From some online reports and videos, the pandemic has not caused much panic, with very few wearing masks in public. That has dramatically subverted our perception of the pandemic. Such confidence comes mainly from a country's good medical resources and more extensive and in-depth scientific understanding. Dr. Lee, who uses acupuncture point injections to treat pneumonia caused by Covid-19, will travel to Korea to use his skills and expertise. If this is true, I congratulate him. I spent the whole day moving goods, one hundred 5 kg vegetable packages of ten yuan and 40,000-yuan worth of various supplies purchased by residents through community groups. The goods include rice, flour, vegetables, meat and eggs, oil, salt, soya sauce and vinegar, and toilet paper. These were only for one apartment complex. Everyone was busy until 6:00 pm. Around 9:00 pm or 10:00 pm, the community center sent a car to load a batch of vegetables from a faraway location. I like to do this kind of physical work without using my brain. The more tired I am, the more peaceful I feel. The problem is that the community center is so busy that it can only meet part of the needs of some residents. It is only a matter of time before the lockdown is lifted, so we need to become active and resume work soon to unlock the city. Disrespect for science and disregard for the plight of the people will bring disaster and cannot be forgiven.

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SUNDAY, MAR. 8, 2020

In the afternoon, it started to rain again, and it continued to rain. As the saying goes, spring rain is as expensive as oil, but this year's spring rain is sad. According to information released by the media, the number of new confirmed patients has dropped by almost half again after dropping to double digits the day before. This is good news, of course. How will the government, which has implemented such a closure policy, plan its next steps considering the current situation? I don't know. A colleague received a phone call from her close friend this morning, saying that her father had rectal cancer and had called an ambulance to go to the hospital because his condition had worsened. It seems that the 120 ambulances had a rule that after sending the patient to the designated hospital, the 120 ambulances would have to leave. The patient was finally placed at the entrance of one hospital, and the ambulance took off. Now the patient not only cannot be admitted to the hospital but cannot even return home. The family contacted the community center to send a car to take them home, but the driver did not want to go for fear of contamination. What to do? The community must ensure the safety of the drivers. In the end, they can only suggest calling 119 for help. From the information released by the media, many hospitals have already resumed general outpatient services and started accepting other patients. A colleague's best friend said it was all a sham. I don't know if the matter is resolved or not. The colleague said, "This is what's happening around us. How many other things like this do we not know about? Could this be the tragedy of the early pandemic; when people with the virus were wailing around waiting to die because there were no beds available? Will it happen again? If the tragedy repeats itself, it will be a 100% disaster created by people, and who should be held responsible?

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The person's grateful words to the secretary successfully triggered the people's resentment. Now the people are not as easy to fool as before. After all, the cruel reality is in front of you. The most important thing is to make sure that the people of the Internet are aware of this. There was a loudspeaker shouting for residents to come downstairs and get their favorite vegetables for free. I happened to go downstairs without a bag to carry the vegetables. The vegetable distributor said, "We do not have bags either. Why don't you take some with your hands?" I was in a hurry to get to work, so I gave up. Dr. Wenhong Zhang said that the Chinese need not be anxious about the U.S. because the U.S. healthcare system, once activated, can handle the new Covid-19 virus with ease. I have great admiration for this doctor. A colleague said that the news of Dr. Lee's departure to Korea was false. Suppose it is understandable that those medical experts hate people like Dr. Lee to protect the existing medical system. What attitude should we, ordinary people and patients, take? Who wants to relieve the pain of illness? Today, in addition to answering phone calls and responding to complaints, the center remained busy until late in the evening with the delivery of vegetables and food purchased by the residents. Today there was a delivery of vegetables to two other districts. The residents have been waiting for a long time. Although it arrived five or six days late, the matter was finally resolved. Some residents currently need most are meat which is out of stock, naturally raising criticism from residents. People in the community center were very aggrieved and accused the residents of being heartless. The center has only a few employees, and the essential merchants to conduct group purchases are only three or four units, such as China Bacai, RT-Mart, etc. How can such a little force cope with more than 10 million people's demands? Demand, what is demand? The need is all-encompassing; who can meet it? There is no doubt that, except for the market, no one can meet their needs.

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There are still many leaders who go to the community service center to guide the work and earnestly teach everyone that they must do a good job serving the residents. I saw a video of a building complex where some property management staff threw group purchasing items out of the gate. I was confused when I saw this video. In the future, all residents' group purchases will be organized by the community center, partnered with a few companies, such as the Central Park Group. Other companies cannot get involved. If this is true, it will kill other companies. Does this enhance business or destroy it?

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MONDAY, MAR. 9, 2020

It rained all night and started again in the afternoon. The wind felt cold on my face. It is the nature of water to have many twists and turns. That is also true for our lives, our society, and the pandemic we are experiencing. People living in a locked-down city tend to forget the date of time, and reality forces us to stay alert. The number of confirmed coronary pneumonia patients has dropped again today, which was expected. I heard that Mr. Zhong Nanshan also predicted or suggested that the lifting of the closure would be postponed until the end of May. I think this is a very irresponsible suggestion. Of course, now that Mr. Zhong is a national hero, any doubts will risk death. If you look at it from the perspective of controlling the pandemic alone, the longer the closure, the better. I'm afraid no one can prove me wrong if I say that by postponing the lifting of the quarantine until October, we will be able to bring the pandemic under complete control, but that is meaningless and no different from the rest of the bullshit we've heard. Suppose the mortality rate of coronary pneumonia is 2.5 percent or more. In that case, the mortality rate of leukemia patients must be 100 percent since they are not being treated timely. If the elderly and the weak are in a state of malnutrition for a long time, their chances of getting sick are almost 100 percent. Now that the government is adjusting its deployment strategy, this forces people to change their thinking accordingly. In the last two days there has been a significant increase in purchasing of food, i.e., rice and noodles, and cooking oil, soya sauce, vinegar, salt, and toilet paper, through the community center. It indicated that residents are running out of food and other daily necessities in their homes. In the long run, the community center will have to buy and unload more than just vegetables every day, and the weight of these items may be enough to overwhelm

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them. Even so, the basic needs of the public are not guaranteed at all. If this happens, we'll be back to our original position, and sacrifices must be made. Sacrifice the general public's health, sacrifice the elderly, the sick, the disabled, sacrifice the needy, etc. Perhaps because of these inescapable or inevitable problems, the United States, Japan, Germany, and other countries did not and could not copy our work. It is wise to face our own problems. Without any surprises, the main task of the community center today was still to carry and distribute various food items to the residents. Many people say that since they can give relief to people stranded in Wuhan from other cities, why can't they give some to residents as well. I think the relief is necessary, but after all it is a stopgap measure, a drop in the bucket will not solve the fundamental problem. The urgent need for people is decisive. Of course, smart decisions require wisdom. Two days ago, we received a notice from the community center to review the elderly who receive the Longevity Allowance. In other words, the residents must show proof that the elderly are still alive to continue receiving the 100-yuan monthly benefit. I don't understand what these people are thinking. Can't they wait until after the pandemic is over to do this kind of thing? They are asking the community to ask every one of them, "Are your seniors still there? Unfortunately, there are many coldhearted people in this world, and for some, it may be their pleasure to rub salt in a wound. Government leaders have asked the community to make it a priority to help solve various livelihood issues and meet the daily needs of residents. It is now required that the community center guide newly emerged febrile residents through all steps of the process in order to guarantee the results of pandemic prevention. That is to say; community members should accompany the patients until they return home to completely control the activities of the sick residents in a person-toperson manner. I don't know what to say about this, but it's useless to say it anyway.

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TUESDAY, MAR. 10, 2020

Today, the sunny Wuhan has a somewhat solitary quality, with people sitting at home and not paying particular attention to the scenery outside their windows. In recent days, the naming of the outbreak-free community has become a big deal. Still, I thought it was a pre-preparation for lifting the closure of the areas in batches, and I didn't think it meant anything special. Compared to regular times, locked down people are more concerned about their own minds, and most of them take a casual attitude towards the outside world, as they can't get out anyway. Today, the number of new cases is dropping again and seems to be breaking the double-digit trend. It's Springtime and cold in February on the Chinese calendar, a time when colds and flu are common, and people who are not careful can catch a cold. Recently, the media and the internet have been revealing a lot about the pandemic in other countries and the prevention and control policies adopted by those countries, which although controversial, did at least for me, have the effect of dispelling the panic. It was a kind of psychological relief and comfort too. Many people have said that overcoming oneself is an essential act in life and the beginning of success. I think it makes sense. In the absence of cure drugs and vaccines, it is especially important for us, the ordinary people, to overcome the fear of the Covid-19 virus and gain the confidence to overcome the disease. But how do we gain that confidence? In my opinion, timely disclosure of information, widespread publicity and knowledge of pandemic prevention, adequate and strong medical resources, and building mutual trust between government and citizens are essential to dispel fears and build confidence. From January 23rd to mid-February, our city was shrouded in a cloud of gloom and woe. Families of patients dumped their critically ill

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patients at the community center gates, and the staff trembled, overwhelmed by the possibility of being infected at any moment. All the feedback and expressions were condensed into the coldest and most numbing words in the world: no beds, no beds. The constant news of death whipped the city relentlessly. How could such a tragedy happen? Just before this, we were still in a joyful atmosphere preparing for the New Year. The ever-positive TV stations were still broadcasting the beautiful picture of the 10,000 people feasting and singing. The Chief Executive was still righteously refuting all the rumors and the public security authorities were still admonishing and dealing with the rumor mongers. However, the tragedy still happened, suddenly and unexpectedly. Didn't our experts, academics and senior government officials swear that we had experienced SARS and that we were confident and capable of preventing and dealing with all similar outbreaks? The two words "no beds'' already show how weak the city's medical resources and capabilities are. The doctors who carried out the treatment lacked almost all the protective gear such as masks and had to run around naked. How can people in such a state, not panic, not fear, where to gain confidence? And it is almost inevitable that the government will make successive mistakes in the panic. Allowing patients to sit in their homes in the name of home isolation caused more cross-infection; allowing communities to act as firewall bunkers caused the public to lose trust in the government. The rapid spread of the pandemic was like a collapse of the dike, and there was no way to stop it. Darkness instantly enveloped the entire city and every family. If the information about the pandemic had been made public in time, the media network had been fully utilized to disseminate scientific knowledge of pandemic prevention such as frequent hand washing and avoiding crowd gathering, the virus would not have spread so rapidly. All the people with fevers would not have swarmed the overburdened medical institutions in the sudden panic. They would have spared no

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effort to fight for the pitifully small number of beds. If the government had made a real effort to build the city's health care system, strengthen medical investment and train pandemic prevention personnel beforehand, would the panic have intensified after the outbreak? As a result, in patients being exposed and circulating in the community because they could not be treated, thus leading to more severe cross-infection? Information cannot be disclosed. Public opinion cannot be suppressed. Covering up the truth and deceiving the public has no way to spread scientific knowledge about pandemic prevention. Because medical resources were limited, medical institutions were rushed to respond. Patients were not treated timely; panic could not be avoided, Trust between the public and the government could not be established, and the so-called joint fight against the pandemic was just a slogan. That is the fundamental reason why the government has failed to prevent the pandemic and caused huge losses and injuries to the public, and the reason for this requires deep introspection. Otherwise, the so-called sacrifice will only be in vain, and we will repeat the same mistake next time. It is meaningless to pursue the blame without a deep reflection on the root causes and even the system. Still, at best, it will only provide an opportunity to promote and dismiss the government officials.

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WEDNESDAY, MAR. 11, 2020

Clear skies today but rain is forecasted for tomorrow. The plum blossoms in the neighborhood have begun to fade. A flock of newly feathered chicks flitted among the budding trees. The number of confirmed cases has dropped to 14. Yesterday the city held a ceremony for hundreds of people to celebrate the closure of some of the temporary hospitals. Some local units also held meetings with more than 100 people. Is this a sign that the panic has dissipated and that the day of lifting the closure is not far away? The number of people going back to Wuhan through online applications is gradually increasing. There are rumors that city buses will be on service again. Some people think that the government will lift the closure of the residential areas in steps. Still, others feel that it is unfair, either all or none; otherwise, the areas that are not open will definitely cause trouble, and the government will not solve it. We often have arguments about government affairs here because both sides of the debate are on the government's side and the leaders, so no matter how heated the debate is, it is only an internal conflict among the people. Patients who were discharged from the hospital and returned home also needed to have their nucleic acid tested again which was done under the escort and supervision of community center members. Five or six people in isolation suits surrounded the residents while they waited for the test, probably because they were afraid, they would run away. Mutual respect between people is still a luxury in our area. That is not difficult for us to understand because we have always been like this. A person from the property came to ask if they could buy bananas. A couple of elderly residents especially wanted to eat them, and they didn't have any vegetables at home. So today, the community distributed vegetables to all the districts, but the elderly couple did not get them for some reason.

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I learned from the Internet that Singapore had done a very successful job in controlling the New Coronary Pneumonia. People did not panic, even a few people wore masks, but they controlled the outbreak. Most of the people in Singapore are Chinese, the same pandemic, but the result is entirely different. Putting aside political and institutional factors, and looking at the technical aspects alone, I think Singapore's success stems from the government's adoption of a detached approach, which enabled the government and citizens to take real scientific precautions based on mutual trust and effectively control the pandemic. In contrast, our system of blocking information, suppressing public opinion, and then taking measures to seal off and isolate the pandemic when it got out of hand eventually led to an effect like crowding and stampeding. As a result, the government broke faith with the people. In the growing panic, people flocked to hospitals to compete for beds regardless of whether they were suffering from the Covid-19 virus, leaving a large number of genuine Covid-19 patients untreated and infecting others in their families and neighbors, and eventually trapped in a vicious cycle. Of course, the more to ponder is why the same Chinese people have chosen two very different strategies and approaches to the outbreak. That is even more important and sensitive. The only way to avoid repeating the same mistake is to face it squarely, which I think is our responsibility.

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THURSDAY, MAR. 12, 2020

It is still a sunny day. Beautiful flowers are in bloom but less than in previous years. It should be a hot and boisterous atmosphere. In addition to filing reports, responding to complaints, and moving supplies, the community has the added task of escorting patients to medical appointments. This is a time of winter and spring when illnesses are more frequent. As expected, the morning started with many residents requesting the community center to send a car to the hospital for all kinds of diseases, especially serious chronic diseases. In such a time of complete isolation, it is very tricky to deal with such problems, and naturally, this tricky problem was handed over to the community center. Apologizing to the residents is a common practice in the center. But nowadays, we often see such scenarios, where community leaders tell residents in a serious manner, "If that doesn't work, go ahead and file a complaint, call the mayor's hotline at ...... And the residents say back, "You think I don't dare? I'll file a complaint now ...... The relationship is very tense, yet it is a bit childish. It is like a restaurant where the owner forces an ordinary chef to make a full banquet. As a result, the customers who paid for the order suffered losses. The fake restaurant loses its reputation, while some people always react by criticizing the chef's incompetence. I didn't expect to see a big fuss over the use of garbage trucks to transport the meat carrying the love of the sender. A deputy district chief lost his job and was investigated. We really don't think this is such a serious matter; we always believe that as long as we can live now, it's good. Anything other than that is poorly thought out and complex. Some people think that nothing else is important now except for the prevention and control of the pandemic, but we have more important things to do than prevention and control. But as an organization, the community service center can only follow the government's lead. The biggest mistake

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for us is to step on the wrong rhythm when matching. I always think that a government must have its function, such as the current pandemic prevention and public health education, etc. Besides it, should it have other more noble and great missions? In ancient times the mission of the dynasties was to realize the unification of the kingdoms and the congratulations from the people around the world. In contrast, the people just wanted to live a good life; of course, they also wanted to earn money and accumulate wealth. In a way, the history of humankind can also be said to be a history of utopian disillusionment and corruption. Now that humankind has evolved, we should abandon these illusions. If there is a mission existing in the world, it should only be personal, including faith. It should not to the Pope and his organization as it was before the Enlightenment. It is and can only be a manifestation of the government's public health function to protect the health and safety of the public and should not be a part of the political mission of the government. Otherwise, the interests of the people and their lives will inevitably be sacrificed to ensure the realization of the supreme mission of government. Suppose we do not establish the idea that the individual is the purpose. In that case, the individual is only a part of a machine, and the people become a colony of ants. There is no individual value in a colony of ants. All individuals are to maintain the existence and development of the colony. Any individual will be sacrificed at any time for the overall benefit of the colony. Therefore, it is the inevitable result of modern civilization to respect and maintain everyone's health patient fully. A strong and prosperous nation is the embodiment and inevitable result of the wealth and happiness of every citizen of that nation, not the other way around. My mother said on the phone that cable T.V. comes to the district in the morning and charges. I think it's absurd. Maybe you say that it's reasonable to charge in a market economy now, but I think it's absurd to think that way. The so-called cable T.V. unit is originally a government utility, which has nothing to do with the market economy. If you must give it a company or group title, it is a monopoly and a market destroyer.

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In addition, the toll collector's mouth was particularly foul, and he even said that the closure would last until May, and then everyone would be released.

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FRIDAY, MAR. 13, 2020

The day was clear, and the air was dry. The number of new confirmed cases has dropped to single digits. Good news. I believe this statistic is accurate. What I wonder is why we still feel that the lifting of the closure is so far away. When the number of confirmed cases drops from the thousands to single digits, it should indicate that we have full control of the outbreak. We still cannot come up with a formal timetable for lifting the city closure means. We still lack an understanding of the nature of the virus, its transmission characteristics, and ways to control the spread of the pandemic, and we are still experimenting with our ways through the process. If that is the case, then it is very frustrating. It is rumored that Singapore, Korea, and Japan have been successful in preventing disease. An excellent quote on the Internet: "Singapore uses management, while Korea uses purely scientific and hardcore methods. " The number of tests per day reached 80,000. Behind the amazing scientific capacity of bio-hygiene, which is directly tested in the lane without people getting out of the car, the results are quickly detected. This news, if true, may be evidence of the opposite of why we are and can only be lockdown and isolated. It also proves how silly and incomprehensible for some people to complain that these countries don't copy our work. Public health and pandemic prevention are science. The ability of a region and a society to acquire science depends first and foremost on people's attitude toward science. To promote science and achieve consensus among the public, or to treat science as a label or rag (science as a door knocker to gain benefits) these two very different attitudes determine the level of society's civilization and even the country. We spit on the ground in the street. We are around a table with seven or eight pairs of chopsticks and spoons in the same bowl of soup stirring around.

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We prostrate under the power, and science is just a knee pad for kowtow...... We are far away from knowing science, from scientific management, and do not know it. That is, of course, the main reason for this tragedy. We sit in our closed rooms, looking greedily out the window at the growing spring scene, not knowing that what we are experiencing is due to our ignorance and where our future hopes lie. We are drowning in our dreams and cannot wake up, and we must wake up to get rid of them. Who will open the window and let the cold wind wake us up? We were moving in food, meat, and vegetables all day long, from far away and out again. In Xiaogan City, there is a sad story about the district's property and even the local government preventing other lower priced vegetables from entering the building complex by the so-called unusual channels. They even arrested the leading house owners, which eventually triggered the residents' anger. We hope to have good news tomorrow.

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SATURDAY, MAR. 14, 2020

The weather was sunny, and the temperature reached 18 degrees Celsius. Some young people have already taken out their cotton clothes. In previous years, at this time, people have already started to plan trips or treks to the countryside. There seems to be lost control, but most people still think that the closure is unlikely to be lifted in March. Some people seem to have gotten used to it, and they believe it is unlikely that the city closure will be lifted before May. The neighborhood is still empty, and although there are more pedestrians than before, they still appear to be alone, like scattered grass. The number of returning workers is increasing. They are applying to their community centers via cell phone to request electronic proof of permission. Some hospitals are starting to reinstate specialty clinics, but the procedures are complicated and require various health certificates such as non-febrile and non-infected. Similarly, patients still need to be seen with community center permission and accompanied by its staff members. All of this shows people the threat, although the threat has existed since the beginning of humankind. Many people understand that controlling the pandemic is still the top priority. No official would risk being held accountable for overthinking other things. We often say that concepts are important, but it is human nature to protect immediate interests. Human action is never beyond this concept. In this way, the biggest risk is what kind of concept to hold. We often see people who are not used to reasoning in life because they have unreasonable ideas in their minds. We have always despised logic because we are more realistic and focused on the interests of the moment. That also gives us the advantage of having a uniquely human touch. Still, this human touch is never shared

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with outsiders and even less with those who cannot bring benefits to themselves. This kind of society is linked by personal relationships, which pay less attention to science, rules, and laws. There is a particularly popular saying these days that goes: "Existence is justified. " Why are we always interested in this half-baked speaking and hold it as a classic? Thinking, especially independent thinking, is a good thing, but unfortunately, we don't do it. Confucius said, "The Way is the way of learning in the metaphysical sense. " At the same time, he said, "How can we know death without knowing life? We cannot always think, and we are always confused about philosophy, religion, and faith. Science has always been a small path for us, but only a tool. We aspire to fight for the Central Plains and the eternal stability of the kingdom, and everything, including science, has to serve this theme. Today, I read a very interesting new article: "Why is the disease and death rate in the United States high? Zhong Nanshan told the truth." Once looking at the article itself, you will find that Mr. Zhong only guessed. What is the logic of guessing the truth? The city of Xiaogan, which is close to Wuhan, has recently been revealed to have had a tragic incident in which a small child was starved to death in his home. I hope this is not true and was just a rumor. The community center is still moving vegetables, other food, and so on, which of course, is endless. Nowadays, the community smells like a people's commune, but this commune only cares about consumption, not production.

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SUNDAY, MAR. 15, 2020

A sunny day. The temperature reached over 20 degrees Celsius. In past years, this kind of weather was a great opportunity for young women to show off their bodies; and watch cherry blossoms. It is naturally a popular topic among young people. The number of new cases today is still in the single digit, but the signs of lifting the closure are unclear. Some say that hope is at hand and that the lockdown will be lifted by the end of March. While others say that the total number of confirmed patients is very large, and the number of suspected patients is also huge. In the evening, an older woman asked me when she could go out and why she couldn't go out yet. That's what I wanted to ask too. Today, as always, I carried and unloaded rice, noodles, meat, vegetables, and so on, endlessly until 9 pm. I don't care, and I am physically exhausted. I think this kind of work is very stupid. But then I think about it again. If we don't do this, we really can't help those who are helpless. Like the closure of cities and neighborhoods, what would be the result if we didn't take measures to close them like other countries, like the U.S. and Japan. But what about those countries? I feel like I have traveled back to the old time, standing on the riverbank with big braids, looking at the black smoke of the fireboat, dizzy. Periodic cycling and repetition is a distinctive feature of Chinese history. What are those foreigners doing? They seem to be doing nothing, and yet they do everything at the same time. We can only stay at home lying in front of the window, thinking about nothing. Where is the difference? Why don't they copy our model? I'm at a loss. A letter of help from Dr. Lee on the Internet drew the attention of netizens, who were angry at the bullying of medical staff by the hospital's administrative staff. We have always been like this here. The academic authority is the leader of the education system. The leading surgical

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doctor and secondary leading doctor on the surgical table are the sources of a hospital's income. The chief justice is the one who holds the law. We don't understand foreigners, and foreigners don't seem to understand us. Power is the core of our being, and we are all living under the pyramid of power. Many netizens do not like European and American countries, but, since modern times, the power inherited from ancient times has indeed been defined by the Western world. We sincerely learn everything from the West. What we get in the end is a combination of East and West. I think there is nothing more frustrating in the world than this. We are still in the middle of a closure. The purpose of the closure is to control the pandemic, and we have no better way to do that than to close the cities and close the neighborhoods. We don't care for the American and British approaches, and we can't learn from them. Imagine a place where it is difficult to guarantee the masks of doctors. How is it possible to use virus measurement equipment to identify and measure people infected with the virus in shopping malls and even on the streets, where the number of people tested is tens of thousands a day? We already feel very, very modern when we take a body temperature in a small shopping mall. How could this be used to be comparable? It's sad and inexplicable. Just as we say that unchecked powers are the culprit that prevents us from running towards civilization, can we get rid of this thing called Powers? Because almost all of us love powers and chase them, a person with even a little power can look down on others, can insult and abuse others. Because they have the authority to guard the gate, they always scold and insult people who must enter and exit the gate. They like the feeling of abusing their powers. What's the problem?

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MONDAY, MAR. 16, 2020

The sky is clear today, and the smell of spring has penetrated every corner. The cherry blossoms in the park must be in full bloom by now. The cherry blossoms at Wuhan University are the most famous. Last year, there was an incident at Wuhan university- One of the university’s security guards beat up a tourist wearing a kimono. What they did tarnished the beauty of the cherry blossoms. The peach flowers in the neighborhood are also in full bloom. I think blossoming peach flowers are more beautiful than cherry blossoms. Under the peach tree, there are always the youths wandering with beautiful dreams without life purposes. The number of confirmed patients remains at four. The community is still moving and unloading supplies, rice and vegetables, toothpaste, toothbrushes, detergent, and other items. Some people say that the community should set up a supply and marketing agency and that the level of the agency should be set at the sub-division level. The most popular topic of conversation during leisure time is when the lock down will be lifted, and anxiety is written all over everyone's face. The time window of psychological limit is approaching. Dr. Hongwen Zhang said that it was impossible to end the pandemic in the summer of June due to the outbreak in Europe. It's a good thing we've survived the outbreak; otherwise, we wouldn't have known how long the city was going to be shut down. After all, there was no better option than to shut down. This outbreak is the most accurate test of our medical science and our ability to prevent and control diseases. A simple primitive containment was still the primary option for us. On the Internet, the call for accountability is still strong. In ancient times, when a disaster of this magnitude occurred, whether a natural or man-caused disaster, the emperor would issue an imperial edict of guilt, mostly saying that it was all the emperor's fault. He wished that heaven

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would impose all the punishment on the emperor and heavenly God would bless all the people to escape from the disaster safely, that is, give the people a way out, etc. Although most of these were just for show, they should not be viewed as malicious. At the very least, they were an expression of good wishes. The news that a township in Huangpi District used the funeral home's vehicle to transport the group's shopping merchandise was released on the Internet. It is scary and weird for Chinese people to use a funeral house’s car to deliver things to the living people. It has a very strong hidden meaning of curse in Chinese culture. This kind of thing, in the past, was not a small case. In ancient times, this was called a violation of human decency. In today's terms, it is anti-humane. Historians such as Guo Moruo, Jian Bozan, and Fan Wenlan have defined traditional Chinese culture as feudal culture, but this is not true. Regardless of the political system, in terms of culture alone, the core of Chinese culture is the family. The whole social order is an expansion of the family structure, which advocates respect for family, father and son, respect for the old, and love for the young. That is true for the people in general, and the imperial palace is no exception. Therefore, Chinese people pay attention to ethics, morality, and human feelings and traditions, and what Huangpi District did is unacceptable to Chinese people in any era. That is the most comprehensive and profound examination of human nature. Each of us should see ourselves and the society we live in clearly from this. Society is composed of every one of us, each of us cannot be alone. We cannot always survive by luck. We need to hold ourselves accountable and hold ourselves accountable for the disaster's deeper social, cultural, and institutional causes.

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TUESDAY, MAR. 17, 2020

The temperature is above 20 degrees Celsius. When looking at the colorful spring flowers, I felt there was no restraint in my mind. The community began loading and unloading rice for distribution, and over a thousand pounds of rice have been distributed so far. It's a daunting thought that will continue to grow. At the gate of the building complex, I saw people volunteering to cut the hair for the residents, but not many of them came. Maybe they all wanted to keep their long hair. Someone reported that an older man living alone hadn't had any vegetables for over a week, so the community sent him some radishes, cabbage, and a handful of sharp peppers. The bank finally remembered to open for business, and early in the morning, I saw a long line of people lined up at the entrance. Perhaps most of the people withdrawing money were older people. The bank put a long plastic stool at the gate, and those who withdrew money sat quietly on the stool with their bankbooks in their hands. The staff wore snowwhite isolation suits to hold the door as if this was a hospital or clinic. The number of confirmed new cases reported today is 1. Zeroing in is imminent. Community leaders are organizing online health card applications for residents in a WeChat group, saying that the health card will be used as proof of access to the community in the future. It seems that the government is working on opening the residential area and should do so gradually and conditionally. Many people felt hope and concern about the pandemic extended to the whole world, especially Europe and the United States. People know a lot about the governments of these countries, such as the United Kingdom. They say that the U.K. is now full of dead people, and the government is building mortuaries in the squares, which is a stark contrast to the temporary tented hospitals we built. They say, "Foreign countries don't think about the people like China does, so we build the tented

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hospitals, and they build the mortuaries. " Everyone is so serious. It is hard for others to talk or raise questions. There is a lot of news on the Internet, such as a piece of news on Sina.com with the headline: "New Covid-19 virus in China, a shocking new discovery, did the virus originate in the United States?" There is also news that it is much more challenging to get a nucleic acid test in the United States, with a kit costing as much as $25,000, but only $40 in a public hospital in China! People have always been aspired to go to the United States, Europe, and other developed countries. Many of them only found out that China is the best at this moment. After more than two months of observation and reflection, I believe that the most critical aspect of pandemic prevention and control should be in three areas: First, to have the means and equipment to quickly screen fever and infected patients; second, to have medical units to admit infected patients based on timely screening and timely treatment; to have close supervision and observation of close contacts and to dispose of them at any time; and third, to popularize the propaganda of infection prevention, and to popularize the scientific knowledge of infection prevention, including the promotion of frequent hand washing, wearing masks and avoiding crowd gathering. While the government should provide adequate material and technical research support for medical care and prevention, it should also strive to ensure the normal and efficient operation of the municipalities and the economy. Of course, if this cannot be done, or if the government cannot do so, I am afraid that the only option is to close. In terms of treatment, I think the most dangerous thing is the so-called suspected patients. The presence of a large number of suspected patients may indicate that the outbreak is out of control. In general, there are two paths to prevent and control the pandemic. One is active medical prevention and control based on science and technology. The other is mandatory containment and isolation in the event of the inability to control the pandemic. Both methods can achieve the purpose of prevention and control, but the latter requires a greater

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price and losses that are difficult to calculate. It also has a very high chance of triggering secondary disasters and humanitarian disasters and is a relatively primitive and simple means of a last resort. On March 16, the newspapers said city management team members from Chengdu's Baohe Street Office told vendors outside a small area that they were allowed to set up stalls during the pandemic prevention and control period. It also said that street-level restaurants were allowed to place tables and chairs on the sidewalk outside their stores to entertain customers. Recently, the Chengdu Urban Management Committee has developed several measures to open temporarily occupied stall areas in residential areas and allow street-level stores to open temporarily. The company's main business is to provide a wide range of services to the public. I agree with this approach, very good! People say science is the first productive force. I think the market is the first effective force and is the basis and driving force for the development of science and technology.

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WEDNESDAY, MAR. 18, 2020

The sky was clear, and the temperature was stable and above 20 degrees Celsius. The people are all out of their winter clothes. A peach tree planted in front of a neighborhood homeowner's house is in full bloom. I wonder if the owner is well after the pandemic. The number of confirmed patients is one, and the number of suspected cases is 0. Thus, almost everything looks good, and the signs of a gradual re-opening are becoming increasingly evident. Starting tomorrow, all types of businesses can apply to return to work in accordance with the requirements notified by the Pandemic Prevention Command. There is also news that people will be able to travel with their electronic health codes. Furthermore, with a special I.D. card, people can take city buses shortly. In other words, the pandemic is coming to an end, and the government will end the state of emergency soon. Although this was inevitable, it is something people have been waiting for. I can see people walking on the lawn around flower beds in the neighborhood in my apartment complex. A few young people were playing badminton with masks. I heard a boy shouting from a distance: "I'm suffocating." As Wuhan has done, the situation in other provinces and cities should be more optimistic. Still, foreign arrivals are said to be causing some trouble in those areas. The trajectory of these arrivals is relatively easy to control and should not pose much of a threat. The probability of a secondary outbreak should be lower. Otherwise, it would expose more than just the inability to prevent and control the pandemic. Perhaps this is the main reason why some foreign staff chose to return to their home countries. After all, the outbreak is in progress in Europe and the United States, and it is human instinct to run away from danger. On the other hand, their choice also relieves the burden on their countries, which is a little reward. Some alternative interpretations and renderings by the domestic network and media can only be described as

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a kind of catharsis and a manifestation of mental distortion. Mind players are always looking for a way to vent their frustration. The absolute fools always think they are the smartest. That is not a bad thing. What ordinary people gain is the loss of abnormal people. The community center moved, unloaded, and distributed more than a thousand pounds of rice, but hopefully, this will not last long. The health care workers from the street health service center who visited the homes of confirmed and suspected patients to disinfect them were girls dressed in several layers of protective suits. During the worst period of the early outbreak, some people who died at home were removed by them to the funeral home for cremation. Many girls were scared out of their wits, and it was not easy for them to survive. I hope they will finally get the official establishment here and no longer need these temporary workers. They deserve to be respected and treated reasonably, although it has been challenging. Many community center leaders have been interviewed by the disciplinary authorities one after another, which is also a major feature that is difficult for outsiders to understand. The Chinese often say that human hearts are made of flesh and blood. Understanding the human heart and the concept of human nature determine the direction of development of a person, society, and nation. For many years I have hoped to see myself clearly through introspection. The Christian concept of original sin has enlightened me and given me some insight into the cultural path of the nation. Suppose you ask anyone around you whether human nature is good or evil, the answers will always vary. If you say that everyone has an evil side in their heart, that everyone is inherently a sinner, you will be met with unanimous opposition. Why is this so? After pondering and observing for a long time, I realized that although we all have different views on human nature, we all absolutely believe that we must be good. They are good people, although they will also make mistakes. However, only a momentary mistake is more deluded.

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The intention is still good. This extremely divided state of mind reflects us, and I used to be like that myself. Rumors about the pandemic in Europe and the United States spread like wildfire on the Internet, with rumormongers rampaging without fear. At the same time, some rational defenses and comments were repeatedly deleted or outright blocked.

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THURSDAY, MAR. 19, 2020

Standing in the bright sunshine, I felt like I was heading towards summer. Spring and autumn are very short-lived, unlike other places where the seasons are balanced. It is not uncommon in Wuhan. It is so hot that you must turn on the air conditioning just after May 1, "The Labor Day." All new confirmed and suspected patients were zeroed out. More and more people are returning to Wuhan for the job. According to the new notice, people with health cards and vehicles can leave the city and return to their hometown as long as they do not go beyond the provincial border. Signs of relaxation are becoming apparent, but there is no timetable for lifting the embargo. It would be politically risky to propose a timetable for stopping the lockdown at this time, although it would be crucial to restoring public confidence. A reasonable timetable would provide a basis for people to organize their lives in the future, save many struggling people from making ends meet, eliminate unnecessary expenses, and allow businesses to determine production and business plans. As with the prevention and control of the pandemic, discontinuing the closure and restoring the city's normal lives is a test of the government's ability. If the closure is maintained until May or even longer, as Mr. Zhong Nanshan said, it may seem stable, but the risk may be greater. It could be negligence of people's benefits. I am just a man who randomly over-thinks and is anxious. Many people need to get out and work to support their families. There are a large number of chronically ill patients waiting for treatment. There are deeply traumatized and need to heal their wounds in a normal society. The elderly, the sick and the disabled people need to take care of their rapidly declined health. The pandemic should not be thought to be under control and don't think that everything will be fine once the pandemic is over. If regular social order

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is not restored, the people will still be plagued. If you are preparing for a celebration now, you are either lacking in heart or conscience. According to a friend, the control has become stricter and more ruthless. For the past two months, police cars have been going around the town every day, with loudspeakers broadcasting the curfew rule constantly. People found wandering on the streets are immediately arrested and detained for four days. Some older men and women who could not control their legs and feet were the main target of policemen. The number of residents who need to go out of the apartment complex to see a doctor increases, and the community center needs to move more and more foods, especially potatoes and eggs. It is more than one ton in size each time, but that is only a drop in the bucket for the residents' needs. It was exhausting to carry more than 200 grass carp, but how to distribute them to the more than 2,000 households in the community? To whom and to whom not? A colleague showed me the news on his cell phone: "5 million people were infected with the Covid-19 virus in the U.K., and 500,000 died". I said, "How is this possible?" He said, "It's true." In an online video, I saw, on March 18, the governor of Hokkaido, Naomichi Suzuki, announced the official end of the state of emergency at a press conference. The governor also said that he would work on reducing the risk of infection and resume socio-economic activities throughout Hokkaido. It is unbelievable that Japan has solved the pandemic without doing anything. The media reported that more than 100 sons and daughters of senior officers return home to live with their parents. The management office held an emergency prevention and control meeting. It turns out that they are all from abroad. People often criticize these people, "Living abroad is their life; cursing foreign countries is their job". Now they don't even want to live here. They are all scared of pandemics and come back to their motherland. Do they feel warm or frightened to rejoin the embrace of the motherland?

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FRIDAY, MAR. 20, 2020

The weather was sunny, and the highest temperature reached 27 degrees Celsius. I saw people wearing short-sleeved T-shirts. This winter was also a warm one with little snow. The old-timers used to say that if we don't get a good snowfall in winter, the year won't be good, many people will get sick, and the crops in the field will not grow well. It is true. In my childhood, every winter, snowflakes were flying in the sky. The scene is rarely seen for so many years, but I miss it when a large group of children skate and play snowball fighting in the street. More and more people are returning to work, so the community center has assigned two people to this task. The government has issued many documents and notices. In my opinion, it is good to return to work as soon as possible, but it won't be easy. After more than two months of lockdown, various difficulties were faced by enterprises, especially the private sector. It will be difficult to resolve within a short period. The government should provide substantial support in tax revenue and loans, and various incentive policies should be in place on time. A government with unlimited power naturally has unlimited responsibility. The practice of emphasizing Chinese characteristics when exercising power but shifting the blame to international practices and market economy when it is time to take responsibility will only break people's faith in the government. Over the years, some professors and scholars who claim to be Austrian economists have been silent when government departments and large state-owned enterprises forcefully interfere with the market and business operations to pursue their interests. When the public demands the government to take responsibility for these transgressions, they come up with a set of Austrian theories such as the free economy and market laws to defend the government and state-owned enterprises. They have smoothly transitioned from economists to government housekeepers, which is laughable! They have ruined the reputation of economics.

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The number of confirmed patients and other important indicators have returned to zero, increasing the desire to lift the closure of the city. The people have reached the limit of their psychological, physical, and financial capacity. The public is more concerned about when they will resume their normal lives, while there is still a vital concern on the Internet about who should be held accountable. The need for work, medical care, and schooling are the most realistic and urgent demands of the public. It should be said that the pandemic in China, including Wuhan, has been effectively controlled, and the panic is subsiding. More attention is being paid to the pandemic in international countries, especially in Europe and the United States, amid an outbreak. There are reports on the Internet that anti-Chinese sentiment in the United States is on the rise. The Chinese in New York are coming out together to defend themselves. We don't know the actual situation, but the exchange of words between China and the United States is particularly striking. According to a news report on Sina.com, the people of Wuhan are furious and have fired the first shot at the United States. Honestly, as a member of the Wuhan people, I don't know when and why I got angry. The U.S. is so far away, and we can't even take care of ourselves in a closed environment every day, so we don't have much energy to be angry about anything. According to the Internet, there seem to be two opinions on the origin of coronavirus. One is Zhong Nanshan's view that "the origin of the virus is not necessarily in Wuhan or China." And the other is Dr. Wenhong Zhang's view that "the virus is not thought to originate outside of China." The focus of the two is different, but I think the latter is more objective and rational and a very frank and responsible statement that is more likely to be recognized by the international community. Each community center began to distribute fish to residents, trying to get one to each household.

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SATURDAY, MAR. 21, 2020

It was cloudy, the forecast was for moderate rain, but it didn't fall after all, and it was hot and muggy. The weather in Wuhan can be simply divided into cold days and hot days. Cold days are cloudy, and hot days are hot and muggy. It's cold to the bone and hot to the point that people can't breathe. In winter, the northerners feel that Wuhan's weather is even colder than the northern area of China, and in summer, the city is like a giant furnace. Today in Wuhan, there is a stuffy atmosphere. People of Wuhan have a relatively hot temper, love to quarrel, and they like to hold as a group to exclude and bully the outsiders. That makes people feel very unreasonable. The reputation of the Wuhan people is not very good however, this does not mean that the people of Wuhan do not have advantages. During the Xinhai Revolution and Wuchang Uprising, Wuhanese from all walks of life, men, women and children, spared efforts to support the new army and advocate the new constitution, without fear of the Qing court's reckoning, leaving a splendid legacy in the modern history of China and making the world to look at them. So, you can't simply judge a place as good or bad. People and cities are specific and can't be just categorized as good or bad. The important indicators of the outbreak notification continue to be cleared. Although there is some debate, it is explained in Fang's diary, and I believe its truthfulness. A very good friend of mine said Fang's diary was not very impressive initially, but later the author became more serious and wrote with soul. Words with soul will allow the author and the reader to breathe together, to face the challenges of life together. So now Fang Fang's diary has become a symbol and a landmark for the people of Wuhan. It is not a marginal voice as described by Hu Xijin, the editor-inchief of Global Times. The editor of Global Times sometimes comes out to make things easier, making people feel sorry for him. Of course, as

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always, things in China are very complicated. But I agree with the writer of the article who supports Fang Fang's diary. One of the paragraphs is particularly good and reveals a certain message: "Scholars can no longer be back down and leave the future of China in the hands of the far left, who manipulate certain departments of the country in the name of the public's willingness." Scholars do not necessarily have to support me, but they should express their views against the far left and tell the public some common sense. This passage reflects the harsh reality we are facing and conveys the urgent call of most educated people. I think this is even more important than the current pandemic, which will determine the fate of future generations. Anyone familiar with the history of the Cultural Revolution and the history before it must understand the left and right concepts that mark China's political ecology. If we use winter and summer as a comparison, leftism is like the winter of Chinese politics. Whenever far leftism prevails, as a cold wind sweeps through the land of China, the economy collapses, and people suffer. Then the rightists will appear as a savior of the country from falling apart. But the good times of its people did not last long. The far-left set of minds will rise again. The left and right are like a magic spell, which makes us fall into the cycle of rising and fall, echoing the rise and fall of ancient Chinese dynasties. I think this is the reason why China's fate is always so alarming and worrying. Breaking this cycle and lifting this spell will begin a true renaissance for the Chinese nation. In my opinion, the so-called national rejuvenation is not about becoming the powerhouse that some people are clamoring for, nor is it about determining the world's landscape, nor is it about accomplishing any special mission. It is simply about bringing the nation to the normal path of civilization, returning the people to common sense, and allowing every Chinese to work for their own goals with dignity and freedom under the protection of the law or not to work at all, of course. That's all. In a nutshell, let our country and every citizen live a normal life and let every person become an independent, autonomous, concrete person in the true

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sense of the word, not just a screw in a machine. But how to do that, I don't know. As more and more people return to work in Wuhan, the Hankou train station is being sanitized to prepare for the resumption of operations, and some city buses are said to be operating soon. I think everyone in Wuhan is as anxious as I am to see the day when life returns to normal.

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SUNDAY, MAR. 22, 2020

Cloudy, hot, and stuffy. The number of confirmed patients was added to the outbreak notification, and the number of suspected patients continues to be zero. At the entrance and exit of the building complex, I saw some young people returning to work and were going through the checking point of the gate. The number of vehicles on the street increased significantly. Some of the roadblocks that were previously set up on the main roads were removed one by one. However, banks, shopping malls and general businesses were still closed. Occasionally, I saw buses passing by with not-on-service signs. According to some sources, the government will gradually approve the lifting of the closure of some areas and communities free of the pandemic so that residents can go out to buy goods in certain areas. The most discussed issue among colleagues is, naturally, the timing of the complete lifting of the closures of the city. Today, the government issued regulations to implement a real-name registration system on public transportation such as buses, subways, taxis, and boats. People will have to scan their health codes to travel within the city. The government will adopt a phased approach to discontinue the lockdown gradually when it cannot provide more financial subsidies and benefits to the citizens. Restoring the city's production and operations will be the government's main task from now on. Indeed, even if the pandemic is completely over, self-help will still be the theme of most people's struggle, and in contrast to the silence of the closure, we are in for an exciting period of life that will not be short. When it comes to the pandemic in Europe and the United States, many people watched as they watched the fire from across the river. Regarding the pandemic situation in the United Kingdom and the United States, the tone of some people is dismissive. I was surprised that most

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people seemed to have forgotten about the tragic experience from January to mid-February. Occasionally, people mentioned it with a calm expression as if they were listening to an anecdote from a distant land. Has grief left us and the land we live in? Have our nerves become extremely strong, or has our unique forgetting mechanism kicked in? It is not difficult to observe that some people around us seem to have completely adapted to their current lives, moving in and out of their neighborhoods and between the various franchised departments with ease and attention. I wonder if they will feel a bit lost and lonely when the pandemic is over. What I'm trying to say is that while we are still amid the pandemic and the lockdown, and the news from all sides is still irritating us, I see the curtain of forgetting unfolding and trying to overshadow us. When looking back in history, forgetfulness is nothing new to us. How many people still remember the years of starvation that killed tens of millions of people in the middle of the last century? Even those who are still alive and those who were harmed still defend the tragic Cultural Revolution. Those dreadful years that wasted the youth of a generation have also become the asset of some people to show off. For those who are alive, the pain and humiliation are fading like clouds. What is left in their mind is always those passionate illusions. I hope I have misjudged the situation. Otherwise, the grief brought to us by this will be even greater, and the damage and loss may be longlasting. History is the precipitation of past experiences with joy and sorrow. We look forward to the good in the joy and the sorrow. We repent and contemplate and thus become strong and wise. We are driven to improve the quality of human beings constantly. When someone succeeds in extracting the most painful and heavy memories, as heavy as the foundation cornerstone of a building, our lives lose balance. We will also lose the opportunity to understand ourselves and ultimately lose the ability to awaken.

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A very close colleague asked me very sincerely whether the United States was good or not. I really don't know how to answer. After all, I have never been there. I could only suggest that if you have the money, you can let your children go there to study for some time. She said, "That's too difficult. We can educate our own". As far as I know, many immigrants to the United States are poorer than even many blacks, but it is still a luxury to immigrate to America for the public here in our country.

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MONDAY, MAR. 23, 2020

The warm weather has caused most people to take off their sweaters. As a rule of thumb, the weather repeats itself until the actual summer season. It turns cooler after a spring shower, but the temperature soon rises again, people put on fewer clothes, and the heat takes over the city. As the petals fall, the green buds cover the enchanting branches of the peach trees. The three towns of Wuhan city, located at the confluence of the Yangtze River and Han River, are vibrant with life. Since the Wuchang Uprising, like Shanghai, which is located on another side of the Yangtze River, Wuhan has gained fame and become the most important cultural and economic town in modern China. Today Wuhan is struggling to survive the plague at an extremely high cost, but this disaster is not the first, nor will it be the last for the city. We deserve a huge monument engraved with the names of each of the dead, a record of our sobs and sins, and the thoughts, confessions, and hopes of those who have survived. Without this, we cannot appease the soul of this city and erase the foul smell of blood and tears. Greatness must be based on a heavy foundation. The noble characters must grow and come out of the hardship of living. Modernity and civilization, like the term's concession, modern, tango, soap, perfume, stock, whiskey, made in Hanyang, flying tigers, sailors, etc., are not unfamiliar to Wuhan, a city characterized by pier culture, and the people living here, but very familiar. And all of this ends abruptly one day, then sinks until it resurfaces, gasping for breath, telling the story of the past, vivid like the sweet red between the dark green. I am a nostalgic person, and these days my eyes are only willing to intercept that period full of gray and light. Before it is too blurred, after it is too familiar, that is how I escape the tears, the relentless clamor, the shouting.

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When I opened the long-closed window, the river breeze greeted me, do did the familiar sound of the whistle. The people's park next to the National Government building, the twists and turns of Clerical Alley, the crazy life behind the bronze statue of Dr. Sun Yat-sen, the undercurrents along the river docks, the purity of the Tan Hua Forest, the mysterious alley of Rouge Lane---I still only known by their names, the smoky smell of Station Road, the crowds, the heart-stopping sound of the train whistle, the whispers of the Great Stage and Yue theatre, the thieves, the vagrants, the children who see cold potatoes and melon seeds. It seems the lakeside is far, far away, the graves of the righteous shrouded in clouds of smoke, the Jiu Nidun...... I am a person without complicated ideas. I think we can have all these all whether you call them the natural order or even the market economy or whatever. It does not matter. In my world, as long as common sense can survive, the city is enough to continue. The rest should be locked into a box. The reason for that is because we cannot erase it, just as we cannot erase the evil and sin of our hearts. I saw a lot of people swarming the street, men dressed up and women in fancy clothes. They seem weightless as if they were coming with the wind. They were waiting, listening, and the voices seemed from too far away, so they listened more attentively ...... I'm not sure if they are the future or the spirits of the long-time dead. I am at the end of a tall building, next to the platform. This is the end of my pandemic diary. I guess it is the time to say farewell to my dear readers. I have written a poem about Wuhan city during pandemic. It is actually an elegy- a lament for the dead. It's a shame that I can't find that poem anymore.

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POSTSCRIPT

During the pandemic, Wuhan has received great attention and generous assistance from all over the world, especially from the overseas Chinese. The friendship and brotherhood of the people can never be forgotten. Wuhan people will never forget their emotional supports. The Covid-19 virus is still running rampant worldwide, and people in some countries are still suffering from the disease. We sincerely pray that the people of all countries will soon be free from suffering and return to a peaceful and quiet life! Thank Mr. Jie Zhang for helping to make this diary publication possible! Thank my family, friends, and colleagues at Borden Books in New York for your continued support! Hulu in the Wind July 12, 2021

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附：

武漢封城日記 一個社區工作者的新冠疫情實錄

風中葫蘆 著

序 言 獨立學者：張傑

新冠疫情對武漢而言無異於一場突如其來的橫禍。 我們很難將兇猛的病毒與白雲黃鶴、晴川歷歷、龜蛇鎖江和三鎮 雄峙的武漢聯繫起來，但它的確在武漢爆發了，而且迅速傳播到世 界，釀成全球上億的人被感染，400 萬人死亡的曠世慘禍。 如果中國政府不屏蔽李文亮醫生的吹哨聲，不刻意掩蓋疫情信息， 這場瘟疫絕不至於如此慘烈。極權制度是新冠病毒這朵惡之花生長 的肥沃土壤。 中國政府為什麼要隱瞞疫情呢？或許是極權制度使然，或許還有 更深的隱憂。人類歷史的經驗告訴我們，專制國家面對災難都如出一 轍，那就是竭盡全力掩蓋事實。人民的生命在獨裁者眼裡總是最卑微 的，他們最關心的是國之大者——政權的安危。 獨裁與荒謬是一對孿生兄弟。2020 年初，當病毒在武漢快速傳播 時，北京的春節團拜會正談笑風生，湖北的人民代表大會和政治協商 會議平靜如水，江岸區百步亭社區萬家宴端出了“4 萬個家庭 13986 道菜品”，共度農曆小年。只可惜，新冠病毒完全不屑於“共產黨的 領導”和“兩個維護”的大局，天馬行空，獨來獨往。 一時間，成千上萬的武漢民眾驚恐哀嚎，醫療系統瞬間崩潰，整 個城市瀰漫著死亡的氣息。驚恐萬狀的“人民領袖”和“偉大舵手” 情急之下，強令武漢政府封城隔離。 人類歷史最大規模和最嚴酷的封城出現了。沒有法律程序，沒有 安置預案，沒有制約的權力與肆無忌憚的病毒在武漢共同演奏了瘋 狂奏鳴曲。 一座一千萬人口的城市頓時墜入人間地獄。 那坐在陽臺上為母親哭求一張病床的敲鑼女人，那個深夜追著離 去的車輛哭喊“媽媽”的女孩，那個患上新冠肺炎跳樓身亡的 70 歲 的尿毒症患者，那個一家四口相繼去世，在遺書中感慨“輾轉諸家醫

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院哀求哭拜，怎奈位卑言輕，床位難覓”的常凱，這慘烈的一幕幕畫 面至今還浮現在武漢人的眼前。 武漢成了一座與世隔絕的孤島，每一棟樓和社區都畫地為牢。互 聯網成了他們唯一的交流通道和社區。這時，一部日記給他們在寒冬 中帶來了慰籍，那就是作家方方的“武漢日記”。 武漢封城後，成千上萬武漢人夜晚上床前，早晨起床後，第一件 事就是看“方方日記”，既從她那兒了解疫情的變化，也從她那兒感 受武漢人的艱辛和悲涼。方方的日記，如同至暗時期的一縷亮光，讓 人們看到了生命的脆弱，個體的渺小乃至無助、無奈、無能、無力和 無望，看到蕓蕓眾生的哀哭和掙紮，看到武漢封城之後武漢人經歷的 苦難。 方方在日記中寫道：許多死者被病毒感染，沒有機會住進醫院， 也沒有得到有效治療，甚至有些人連確診都沒有，就匆匆離世。“人 不傳人，可控可防”這八個字，變成了一城血淚，無限辛酸。時代的 一粒灰，落在個人頭上，都是一座山。而我們偏偏處在一個塵土飛揚 的時代之中。 於此同時，另一部《武漢封城日記》也在海外流傳，它從 2 月 15 日起至 3 月 23 日止，共計 38 篇，作者是風中葫蘆。《武漢封城日 記》連載於美國中文網站“博訊新聞網”和“北京之春”網站。 風中葫蘆是位武漢詩人、作家和書法家。他淡薄名利，為讀書而 讀書，為寫作而寫作，為書法而書法。 風中葫蘆的《武漢封城日記》為海外華人了解武漢的真實疫情打 開了一扇窗戶。風中葫蘆本人就在疫情的第一線，他因社區員工身份 而穿行於武漢的大街小巷，記載下了他親歷的情景。 風中葫蘆在日記中既描述了底層民眾的焦慮和無助，也反映了政 府救助的混亂和失序。社區在中國本是最基層的居民自治組織，但在 疫情中它卻無奈承擔了社會救助的主要責任。中國抗疫模式的舉國 體制居然是靠一個個無權、無錢和無力的社區支撐。“高效”的舉國 體制背後是民眾的心酸、血淚和次生災難。 風中葫蘆的父母都曾在疫情早期感染了新冠病毒，但因不知情而 沒有恐懼，居然都痊癒。他在疫情期間，每天都在為社區居民賣菜、 送藥和幫助他們就醫。這些平常的小事在疫情期間卻關係著升斗小 民的生命。作為知識人，風中葫蘆透過這些具體的小事，思考人性的

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善良和醜惡，政府的責任和公民的權利，以及信仰和生命的救贖。樸 實的文字，將現實的場景和深邃的思考都融合在這部日記裡。 作者寫道：“如果不能樹立起個人就是目的的理念，個人就只能 是一部機器中的零件，民眾就成為了蟻群蜂群。蟻群中不存在個體的 價值，所有的個體都為維護蟻族的存在和發展為目的，為了蟻族的整 體利益，任何個體都會隨時被犧牲。所以充分尊重並維護每一個人每 一個患者的健康是現代文明的必然結果。一個國家的強大富庶是這 個國家每個公民富裕幸福的體現和必然結果，而不是相反。”“面對 強暴，有人恐懼，有人歡呼雀躍，最終也有人抗爭，但在抗爭中獲勝 的人也要將強暴加諸於他人。於是最終我們回到原點，信仰。是的， 信仰是人類精神的原點。信仰不是我們所理解的世界觀，信仰的目光 超越了我們所生存的世界。” 今天，武漢解封已經過去了一年多，劫後餘生的武漢人已經恢復 了正常的生活，但那封城的悲痛記憶還停留在人們的心裏。那逝去的 冤魂也未遠離這座城市，至今武漢人也不知道新冠病毒來自何方，有 多少人感染，有多少人死亡？那製造武漢封城慘禍的當權者已經變 成了英明的“救世主”，那報導疫情的公民記者張展和怒斥“救世主” 沐猴而冠的任志強已經被關進了監獄。偉大與醜陋，正義與邪惡交織 在武漢疫情中。 3 月 23 日，已經封鎖了 2 個月的武漢即將解封，風中葫蘆在最 後一篇日記中寫道：“我看見很多人正湧上大街，男的穿著嚴整，女 的花花綠綠，他們沒有重量，仿佛隨風而至，他們在等待，在傾聽， 而聲音好像過於遙遠，於是他們聽的更加認真……，他們是未來者還 是早已逝去的魂靈？” 3 月 24 日，封城第 62 天。作家方方寫下她武漢封城日記的最後 一篇。她寫道：作為被封在家兩個多月的武漢市民，作為親歷親見了 武漢悲慘時日的見證人，我們有責任有義務為那些枉死者討公道。如 果我們放棄追責，如果我們將這一段日子遺忘，如果有一天我們連常 凱的絕望都不記得了，那麽，我想說：武漢人，你們背負的不僅僅是 災難，你們還將背負恥辱。忘卻的恥辱！如果有人想輕松勾掉這一筆， 我想那也絕不可能。我就是一個字一個字寫，也要把他們寫上歷史的 恥辱柱。 是為序！ 2021 年 7 月 1 日於紐約

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前 言 風中葫蘆

歷史是過去發生的事情，而現實也將成為歷史。 才過去一年的時間，我就發現周圍很多人對這場震撼全中國，給 全球帶來深刻影響的武漢疫情的印象就已經開始變得模糊不清。我 想，隨著歲月的流逝，很多事件的細節甚至事件本身都可能被人們徹 底遺忘。人類的遺忘機制或機理異常複雜深奧，但我們沒有任何理由 漠視過去。何況，直到今天新型冠狀病毒依然在世界各國肆虐，抗擊 疫情依然是當前人類的共同使命。 這部日記寫作於武漢疫情最為艱難的那段時間，最初是因為我當 時住在武漢，一些網友希望我也能像方方日記那樣，以自己的視角將 疫情期間身邊發生的事情記錄下來並在網上發布,為將來了解研究 這段嚴酷的歷史留下一份可供參考的文字資料。他們認為這個工作 很有意義甚至功德無量，而我也從他們的話語中感受到了責任和壓 力。確實，這是一本從一開始就打算公之於眾，有明確目的日記。 當初選擇在海外發表的想法也很單純，就是希望通過網絡讓世界 了解武漢，尤其了解身處武漢的普通人的真實處境，也希望為爭取國 際社會的援助和支持略盡綿薄之力。 當今世界任何一種行業的興盛都離不開各國資本和人才的相互 協作支持，一個行業的發展是如此，一個國家乃至人類的共同進步昌 盛更是如此。面對肆虐全球的新型冠狀病毒，世界各國除了通力合作 共同應對別無選擇。 這部日記用較多的文字記錄了社區這一基層組織在抗疫過程中 所開展的工作及其發揮的作用。中國的社區雖然名義上叫居民自治 組織但與歐美國家的社區有本質上的區別。簡單地說，中國社區是由 政府領導的以城鎮居民為工作對象，但又並未納入政府部門編制的 最基層的群眾性組織或機構。目前武漢有社區 1000 多個，覆蓋了城 市的每一個角落。社區沒有行政上的執法權也不具備法人資格，但在

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諸多領域充當了政府的手和腳，說社區是政府權力在民間的延伸也 並不為過。社區是武漢政府對整個城市 1000 多萬居民實施嚴密管控 的重要條件。武漢的抗疫模式為其他地區提供了樣板，具有鮮明的中 國特色。 作者的一些看法和觀點，或有偏激、錯誤之處，歡迎批評指正。 2021 年 7 月 12 日於中國

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二月

2020 年 2 月 15 日 星期六

自 1 月 23 日封城以來，作為武漢居民，我們被禁錮在一個個小 小的名曰家的房間裏。足不出戶是絕大多數市民的常態，而能夠在這 種狀態下生存的人們卻還是幸運的…… 實際上身處疫情中心的人對疫情的真實情況並不比其他城市的 人了解的更多。禁足使我們與外界隔離，網絡成為人們了解疫情重要 的渠道和窗口。我們通過網絡得到的各種信息都彌足珍貴，但就在這 個時候，我的微博被封掉了，不能發布轉載任何信息，也不能留言， 當然也不能與網友們相互交流問候。 自有文字以來，人們用文字記錄大千世界人生百態，但這場對我 們普通人來說是突如其來（原本不該如此）的災難，我們的文字到底 能留下多少真實，此刻我對語言文字以及影像等等工具的能力不無 懷疑。 身處疫情中心的我們對外界一無所知，這種說法不無道理，但外 界的人們總是迫切地想要了解我們。很多作家名人都在記錄這場疫 情，比如我們知道的方方，他們的文字撩動了很多人的心緒，但所有 的文字都只可能是作者自己的表達。方方所記錄的是她作為作家協 會主席知名作家的所見所聞所思，是她身處的文聯大院，是她的領導 和作家朋友們的遭遇和他們之間的感慨思索哀痛和對眾多市民的同 情悲憫。 今天，城市的管控情況並沒有多大的變化，看來昨天傳言的實行 更加嚴厲的封城信息並不准確或者並沒有得到實施，雖然實際情況 我們不得而知。

二 月

113

昨天天氣預報，今天會有大雪，氣溫會下降很多。這不是一個好 兆頭。我們通過媒體得知冠狀病毒不懼寒冷，喜歡潮濕。悲觀的情緒 一旦出現，在現在的狀態下就會很快地蔓延開去。人的心情比天氣更 加陰沉。 昨天晚間刮起了大風，響了幾聲雷鳴，這應該算是春雷了。然後 下起雨來，這風雨好像一直持續到今天上午。下午約 3 點時開始下 雪，還真是大雪，飄滿了整個天空。那些重症患者、老年慢性病患者 更難捱了。好在今天的溫度不是太低，漫天大雪降到地面立刻化作了 冰水。小區裏的幾株梅樹都開了花，有紅的，白的，不少也不多。 病毒肺炎是世界關注的焦點，但那些其他病痛患者難道不應該得 到妥善的安排嗎，事實上這些病人的數目更加龐大。而現在各大醫院 基本上都關閉了專科門診，醫護力量也都抽調到發熱門診。如我母親 是克羅恩病患者，就面臨無法看門診的難題，只好自己到重症藥店去 買藥，而全市的重症患者用藥都依靠這有限的幾家藥店，其情形可想 而知。按照政府的通告，這些事情都可以通過社區提供的服務來解 決，而且街道也確實給各社區派遣了幾輛網約的士，但每個社區都有 1 到 2 千多戶家庭，如何照應得過來，何況社區工作人員每月只有 2000 多元的工資，從封城到現在都在加班，沒有一天休息，而且面 臨隨時被感染的風險，你能指望他們能發揮多大的作用，能有多大工 作熱情和積極性呢。現在派到社區的車輛，每位司機每天是 600 元 的報酬，社區工作者這段時間能有多少補貼至今不清楚。 我想強調的是對這些重症患者以及那些需要急救的非發熱病人 來說，如果面臨坐在家中就是等死的處境，他們又該或會做出怎樣的 選擇呢。 從封城開始到現在，政府的各種通告決定並改變著人們的生活， 但這些措施都給人顧頭不顧腚缺乏各職能部門統籌協作的感覺，都 有倉促應付之嫌。或許這也正是防疫工作遲遲不能步入正軌的原因。 正在敲打這些文字的時候，突然接到父母的電話，家裏的煤氣用 完了，事先預備的電磁爐也好像壞了，兩位七八十歳高齡的老人沒法 做晚飯，好在我在社區工作，還是很方便地聯系到入駐社區的司機， 連帶著帶了些蔬菜趕去，最終解決了問題。但現在還是有些擔心，自 己會不會將病毒傳給他們，願神保佑我們吧！

114

武漢封城日記

2020 年 2 月 16 日 星期日

今天天氣晴朗，陽光充沛，氣溫回升。早上醒來，聽見滿世界都 是滴滴答答化雪的聲音。這會是我們嶄新的一天？ 按照計劃，今天要去給母親買藥，她患有克羅恩病，每天都要依 賴德國進口的藥物美沙拉嗪及思密達、曲美布汀等藥物維持病情。這 些藥一般藥店沒有，要到距離本人住處約十多個公汽站的黃石路漢 口大藥房去買。徒步行走約需四五十分鐘。一個人在空蕩蕩的水泥城 市穿行四五十分鐘也是挺嚇人的。以往作為重症患者，我母親和其他 的重症病友一樣都是到政府社保處指定的市中心醫院就診， 每月 2 到 3 次，藥費有部分減免，但現在不行了，只能自己想辦法。 與前幾日一樣，居民進出小區要出示出入證，登記，測體溫。在 目前的情況下幾乎沒人會沒事兒出來閑逛，出入小區的人總是有迫 不得已的原因，而由此與管控人員發生沖突也往往事出有因，也許僅 僅是彼此間言辭不當就搞得不愉快甚至成為仇人。當然任何時候都 會有些特殊的人，他們就好像在一片悲痛中突然冒出的笑聲，我們覺 得刺耳，有人卻能從中發現常人意識不到的問題。寬與嚴之間的度如 何把握，理論上可以討論，現實卻可能是一團亂麻。可能就是因為一 句話，守門的人就給了出門的人一個巴掌，挨巴掌的人就開始准備著 要弄死那個守門人，當然情況反過來也是如此。衡量現實生活中的形 形色色，需要的是我們的良知，這是基礎，我覺得良知是理性的基礎。 但如果基礎在一天天的敗壞，而且這敗壞由來已久乃至成為傳統，我 們又該怎麼辦？能夠怎麼辦？ 這幾天一躺下就做噩夢，有次夢見一個穿制服的人拽著一具屍體 的腳踝在過道上拖行，旁人喊：你們怎麼這樣，你們怎麼能這樣！那 人卻說：袋子已經沒有了，能怎麼辦？那些歲月靜好的人不知道什麼 是地獄，其實人心就是地獄。在良知喪失的那一刻地獄就會接納我 們。如果我們把人當做人，把生命當做生命，如果，如果……，太多 的如果，那麼悲劇可能就不會發生，或者人們所承受的痛苦就不會這 麼重。我說的是我們，是的，就是我們，就是我們這些千千萬萬百姓 所維護的，認可的，自覺忍受的……

二 月

115

什麼是真相，當你不具有 知道真相的權利時，真相就 不存在！真的沒有真相，一部 二十四史，你要從中尋找真 相，只能是一頭霧水。三國演 義我們倒是耳熟能詳，可那 是小說，小說中的諸葛亮永 遠妖裏妖氣，指東說西。咋 整。 作家方方說，我們的市長 其實是個老實人，也很不容 易。我同意，也認可。但是， 有什麼卵用。確實，人的一生 很多時候都是身不由己，如 身處濁流，被裹挾，被吞沒， 但這濁流可能是你自己心甘 情願跳入的，還可能是你一 （武漢的街道） 生所夢寐以求的。我們多數 人在多數時候真的是把毒藥 當蜜糖去追求，把朽木當做棟梁去仰慕…… 所以說，底線很重要。底線來自哪裏，來自良知？但人也會出賣 良知給魔鬼。一個真正的基督徒會出賣對上帝承諾？人性不可靠，人 一刻也離不開神！ 為早點兒趕到藥店，一大早就去社區請假，聯系社區的的士司機。 我們在這樣的一座空城——其實裏面蟄伏著一千多萬個人，幾乎是 一路暢通，但到達藥店才看見藥店門口已經排起長長的隊伍，大致數 了一下，我前面已經有三十多人，即便如此，大約十幾分鐘後我的身 後又增加了二三十人。前來買藥的人不斷增加，隊伍挪動慢得令人難 以忍受。人們不停地發著牢騷，但也有人趁著現在看來顯得異常簡單 的陽光開始高談闊論。他們說到日本的疫情，又說到印度如何的窮， 醫療條件如何差得出奇等等。就這樣捱著，到中午 11 時 30 時終於 輪到了我，可美沙拉嗪這款主要的藥卻賣完了，沒了。咋整。沒辦法， 只有再到其他藥店去打聽，碰運氣。好在上次我多買了一盒，還可以 讓母親應付十來天。

116

武漢封城日記

買個藥，在平日最簡單的事情，居然花去我們整個上午。由此也 可以想象，社區那二三十號工作者如何應對得了整個社區幾千戶家 庭，如何能保證提供不說完善哪怕是最必要的服務，更何況社區還有 排查、消毒、篩選發熱病人、上報各種數據等等任務。完成不了的任 務你卻非要他去完成，結果會如何呢。而且社區工作者還在減員，如 我們這個社區在大年初一夜間就有一位工作人員發熱被送進醫院， 至今沒能出院。幾個年輕人嚇得辭了職。當然事情也有例外，照理說 在這種情況下政府派遣到社區的的士司機應該很是忙碌，但事實上 他們多數時間還是比較清閑，出車的任務並不是太多，主要原因大概 是現在放寬了私家車出行的規定。事實上從一開始，司機們因害怕感 染就拒絕接送發熱病人，如此讓病人家屬自己開車接送病人也就是 唯一的辦法了。當然也有些居民不想求社區，很多事都自己解決。 在來回的路上，我們發現一個現象，數日前還隨處可見的鳥兒， 最多的是麻雀，現在竟然都銷聲匿跡。我連一只都沒有看見，難道是 近日政府部門搞全面消毒尤其給空氣消毒造成的？ 在我的感受中，鳥，給這座封閉的城市帶來了一些生機，也使這 座城市顯得更空曠寂靜，但現在我看不見他們……

（武漢的街道）

二 月

117

2020 年 2 月 17 日 星期一

今天天氣依然晴好，陽光照耀著我們的城市，這應該是好的兆頭。 我還是沒有聽見鳥鳴，難見它們的蹤影。 走在上班的路上，街道還是空蕩蕩的，有少量的車輛行駛，偶爾 看見一兩個保潔工人在路邊清理垃圾。疫情令周圍的一切和所有人 的生活都發生了改變，而我如往常一樣上班下班。 今天小區對居民進出的管控更嚴了，據報道得知進一步加大管控 力度勢在必行。之前一些仍在營業的極少數商店也將被要求關門，居 民購物和外出就醫會有更加明確而嚴格的限制性的規定，但實際會 做到怎樣的程度，又會導致怎樣的後果還不敢確定。很多人說這是一 場戰爭，是考驗，是對管理這座城市能力的考驗，其實早就考驗過了， 就是現在這個樣子。好與不好能不能善了還要看最終的結果。 也許是錯過了時間，一路上並沒有看見消毒車，特別是那種如同 架著大炮的空氣消毒車。給空氣消毒，好像有點扯，這就好像有人拿 著掃帚去大興安嶺清掃落葉。 社區又來了一些機關幹部，他們負責居民的排查工作，給居民打 電話，詢問身體狀況、有無發熱病人等等。有人說現在疫情應該到了 拐點，有的則搖頭。我還是寄希望於藥物和天氣，希望像非典時候一 樣，隨著天氣轉暖，病毒會在幹燥的空氣中消散。而那些患者，如果 沒有有效的藥物就只能聽天由命。美國的那種針對冠狀病毒的藥到 底療效如何，試用的效果到底怎麼樣？ 下班時在小區門口的臨時售菜攤點買了一根白蘿蔔、一根紫茄子、 五六個青椒、二三十枚雞蛋，花了 40 元錢。 晚間與父母通電話，飲食起居及健康狀況都還正常。但因為還沒 有買到美沙拉嗪這種每天必須服用的藥，加上看電視上說政府又要 加大管制力度，母親對今後的就醫用藥問題很是擔心，心情不好。所 以要盡快將藥弄到手。 從封城到今天，防疫行動從總體上看似已走上軌道，而其他慢性 病人，尤其白血病人、需要定期做透析治療的腎病患者的治療問題已

118

武漢封城日記

經突出到不能稍有忽視的程度。這些問題如果不能得到妥善解決，那 就不僅僅是管理能力甚至執政能力的問題了。 現在每個家庭都如同孤島，經受著病痛和失去親人的家庭更是如 此，孤立無援，彷徨無助，沉淪，陷落……，雖然有網絡、媒體。 此刻，正有人不敢觸摸手機；此刻，正有人在風中如一片單薄的 紙。 當然也有人在高談闊論，有人在為某個話筒的擺放位置煞費苦 心…… 現在我及家人與城市中多數人的情況大致相同，而這已經非常非 常幸運的了……

（等待買藥的市民和空蕩的街道）

二 月

119

2020 年 2 月 18 日 星期二

天氣依然晴朗，氣溫還在回升。 終於聽到了消失多日的鳥鳴。也看見一些麻雀在樹木間翻飛，雖 然數目不多。 面對只有顯微鏡才能觀察到的病毒，我們如此脆弱，不堪一擊， 但也要承認人類作為一個整體、作為生命世界的優勝者仍然強大無 比，至少在我還沒有出生的時候，人就開始打太空的主意並在遙遠得 令我們難以想象的星球上留下了痕跡。確實，病毒及其他生物從未戰 勝過人類，否則也就不會有現在的我們。 但人的意義不在於他的整體性，我們每一個人都是一個獨立的世 界和宇宙，人和蜂群有本質的區別。 對一個逝者來說，在他離去的那一刻，所有的一切包括人類的歷 史都散作灰塵。但依然有人在尋找證明價值和意義，他們相信靈魂， 相信神，相信今生是一座通向彼岸的橋梁，死，是那最耀眼的跳躍。 清早起來，看見滿目的陽光，我確信自己活著，並在生活。 在上班的路上，我又看見迎面而至的消毒車，散發著濃烈氣味的 消毒水噴我滿頭滿臉。對於生活，他們比我有信心有魄力。在出入口 有人叫我師傅，也有人叫我喂，也有人省去了那個喂…… 從理論的角度看，語言真是囊括了我們的一切，我們可以從中看 見我們自己。今天的一則消息說，某個小區一位六十歲的老太擅自翻 越隔離欄而被摔死。我不明白擅自翻越是什麼意思，難道還有被批准 翻越與不被批准翻越的說法和規則？人連山都可以翻越，為什麼不 能翻隔離欄，如果老太太突然想到家裏煤氣沒關或者留在家中的小 孫子可能面臨危險，那她為什麼不能翻？網絡上都在為湖北電影制 片人常凱先生的病逝而歎息，而我覺得如果其他同常凱先生一樣被 病毒奪去生命的人的名字可以被抹去，那麼常凱先生的名字也可以 不提。媒體報道，武漢有十多位領導被追責，也有十幾位領導被提拔， 這些十幾位被提拔的領導我從未聽說過，周圍的人也不認識他們。真 是圈子太小，孤陋寡聞。在記者招待會上，鐘南山先生預測疫情拐點，

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武漢封城日記

但他說的拐點不是我們所認為的拐點，在他的預測中我們所期待的 拐點要在四月底才會出現。我覺得三月底就夠了。照現在這個樣子， 超過三月底這個期限將會出更大的亂子。 在小區裏看見有人遛狗，給同事說起來才知道原來養狗的人家幾 乎都這樣，遛狗是每天都要做的事情。 母親的藥還是沒有買到。經與中心醫院聯系確認，非發熱的重症 患者目前只能到漢口黃石路重症大藥房去購買。趕早不趕晚，明天必 須去排隊買藥。不知道社區的司機是否願意再辛苦一下幫忙捎我一 程，但這是必須要辦好的事。 在社區裏做了一下消毒的工作，噴灑 84 消毒水，給幾家孤寡失 獨老人送了些蔬菜等等。其實社區並不止做這些事，比如還有登記上 報各種表格、接聽居民電話、解答居民提出的問題、回複政府部門轉 來的各種投訴等等工作。當然這些都是比較重要也是很精細的活兒， 還輪不到我們來做，打個雜，打個下手什麼的我還比較拿手。我們這 裏的社區是一種組織，不是一些老外所認為的那種社區，也不是村委 會。性質完全不一樣。 又花二十多元錢買了一根白蘿蔔，一棵大白菜，一把白菜苔。准 備趁送藥的機會一並給父母送過去。政府部門也在抑止物價，囤聚居 奇謀取暴利的奸商一向為國人不齒，但國人也一向不清楚什麼才是 奸商，如何才叫暴利…… 目前還不清楚生活拮據又失去收入的市民們該如何維持眼下的 生活，能否得到救濟…… 有人在路上看見一個流浪者。下班時，我看見一個老頭坐著輪椅 在空蕩蕩的人行道上發呆，很奇怪，不知道是怎麼回事。 我們其實是一些想法很古老的人，當然古老的後面還有加上文明 這兩個字……

二 月

121

2020 年 2 月 19 日 星期三

今天天氣晴朗，溫度持續回升。 昨天就計劃，今天一定要給母親買到她需要的美沙拉嗪，還有父 親的降壓藥硝苯地平緩釋片，我有種不好的預感，必須在今天辦好這 些事情。先做自己的事再去做單位的事是我一直以來的態度。想想這 幾十年來的人生，我自認是個沒有覺悟的人，不愛國也不愛組織。從 小到大，我最大的人生理想就是找一個漂亮的老婆，但現在連這個也 看淡了許多。 今天小區的出入口變得森嚴了。我昨天中午才到社區辦理的出入 證已經作廢，現在像我這種每天上下班的人還需要持有工作單位的 證明，否則不能進出小區，好在這裏的社區居委會主任也在現場，給 我解了圍。 現在各個居民小區把守出入口的全都換成了政府機關人員，個個 表情嚴肅，社區一般幹部說話都已經不怎麼管用。守門的人相當多， 只要遠遠走來一個小區居民，一幫子人立刻就圍上去，量體溫的、詢 問的、做記錄的、查驗證件的等等，膽小的居民被圍在當中其窘態可 想而知，而且出入口外還停著一輛印有特警標志的汽車，一旁站著七 八個身著警服的壯漢。顯然，這些都在表明，今天是一個很重要的日 子，說是重要的轉折點也不為過。所以如果不趁著今天把該辦的事情 辦完，還真的會有大麻煩。 以前聽過一個笑話，一位很著名的學者說，現在所有的人才精英 都進了公務員隊伍，那社會上的其他行業可該怎麼辦。 總之，形勢有些緊迫，一到單位，我們立刻打印了一份出入證明， 蓋上章，填上各自的名字。我所居住的小區的管控幹部說，有了這個 證明到什麼地方去都可以，但我到父母住的小區去取我母親的重症 病曆和醫保卡時，那裏的管控幹部卻攔住我說，這個證明根本沒用。 拿到我母親的病曆和醫保卡後，我立刻趕往黃石路重症大藥房。 不出意料，藥房外已經集聚了很多來取藥的人，我問清楚情況，急忙 忙領了一個號，大約半個小時後，前來拿重症藥的人已經排到了 400 多號。大約 10 點半時分，藥房的大喇叭喊，300 號以後人的下午再

122

武漢封城日記

來，趕緊回去。我很幸運地屬於 300 號以內。又是在十一時三十分左 右的時候，我終於被允許進入這家大藥房，上了二樓，遞上了我母親 的病曆醫保卡，辦理人員核對一下病曆和醫保卡，又查了一下電腦 說，你的藥都沒有。我說那怎麼辦，那人說沒有藥能有什麼辦法？你 去別的藥店再看看。我當時就懵了，操你大爺的，老子從上午 8 點多 鐘排隊等到現在，就等到一句話，藥沒了。我頓時破口大罵，把所有 的王八蛋都罵了一個遍，但沒人理我。 真是沒辦法，情況就是這樣。對有權有勢的人來說一個電話就可 以解決的事情，老百姓跑斷腿也沒用。想想那些躺在家中，等不到一 張病床的患者，他們又該是何等的淒涼，絕望……。昨天有居民投訴 說，他們樓上有人死了，為什麼還沒人給樓棟消毒。有人在力爭維護 自己的安全，有人卻已經告別這個人世。作家方方說，武漢人已經適 應了被封禁的日子，人們在局促的空間變著花樣讓自己的生活富有 生機（大意）。她老人家可真是有涵養有品位，但那是在文聯大院， 是幹部們的住宅區域，我的大姐。故人仙逝也好，撕心裂肺也罷，都 改變不了一些人對歲月靜好的追求。 事情沒辦成，沒法交代，最重要的是病人一旦停藥，後果不堪設 想。我決定還是去其他的地方碰碰運氣。還真要感謝在這座城市隨處 可見的共享單車，否則單靠兩條腿，在這麼大的城市晃蕩還真是很 難。也許是神的保佑，到下午一時許，終於在航空路新特藥藥店找到 美沙拉嗪。聽到營業員說，美沙拉嗪啊，有！我的天啊！心中的一塊 石頭終於落地。我一口氣買了七盒這種藥，足夠母親服用兩個多月。 若說為什麼不幹脆買上八盒十盒，我也不知道為什麼。按照我母親吩 咐，只需要買兩盒就好了，因為她認為情況馬上就會好轉的，按照我 父親的話說，曆朝曆代，不安頓好百姓的生活都會出大亂子，政府怎 麼會想不到這一點，所以根本不需要擔心。也許吧，我也不知道該說 些什麼，該怎麼說。父親的降壓藥也在另外一家藥店買到，這回我真 的買了十盒。降壓藥很便宜，十盒才 65 元，而美沙拉嗪一盒就要 598 元。 下班時，在路上看見有人提著大袋小袋的蔬菜和食品，便問，現 在超市還在營業嗎？那人說，馬上就要停了，最後一天了。好嘛，我 立刻竄到附近的那家的大超市，搶著買了一袋食物，特別買了一袋 20 斤的大米，用了 270 多元錢。當我拎著大袋子，扛著大米走進小 區，把守出入口的公務員用懷疑而警惕的口氣問，你這是從超市回 來？我回答說，下班！

二 月

123

明天，超市可能真的會停業。我進去時，工作人員正在給賣剩下 的商品打包、裝箱。貨架上的商品寥寥無幾，並最終從貨架上消失。 據說今後超市只向社區等組織提供團購服務，不再對個人開放營業。 其實對這場巨大的災難，很多人在很早的時候就有了一些莫名的 預感……

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武漢封城日記

2020 年 2 月 20 日 星期四

天氣晴朗，非常暖和。 昨天完成了買藥任務，整個人松了口氣，結果睡過了頭，直到上 午九時許才走出小區。 這個小區建設於上世紀九十年代中期，其實就是近百棟樓房兩千 多戶人家聚在一塊兒，沒有物業，四通八達。現在被堵得死死的，只 留一個出入口，被人把守著。 一般人的預感總是遠離真相，但我們普通人多數時候就生活在這 不靠譜的直覺之中。只要你信，生活就可以充滿神秘，而且百思難解。 說到預感，早在打貿易戰的時候就有人開始對未來充滿了憂慮。 以前我經常到濱江公園現在叫做江灘公園散步，那裏每天都有些老 頭子湊在一起談論國事。中美貿易戰硝煙剛起，一些人的心裏就起了 沙子。例如一個老家夥為防不測居然在家中存了四百多斤大米，說是 照他家人口計算，這些米剛好能吃到明年也就是 2020 年的四月份， 而且冷天米也不會生蟲子。我雖然覺得有些可笑，但心情也很是壓 抑。我對國家不感興趣，但對自己未來的生活不能不關心，我也覺得 照這樣折騰，2020 年肯定不樂觀。 很多事情回想起來真是令人心驚。2019 年 12 月 10 日左右，我 母親突然患病。據她事後回憶，那天中午她正在爐灶前炒菜，突然全 身發冷，寒戰，然後四肢乏力作痛，頭暈，上吐下瀉。當時我們都認 為是重感冒，喂了一些藥讓她臥床休息，但夜間開始發燒，又服了幾 片藥狀況稍好些，第二天又開始反複。14 日仍無好轉，擔心發展為 肺炎，便去中心醫院就診。照例經過一系列的檢查，除了缺鉀比較嚴 重（指數僅為 2.7），其他的都很正常。我們覺得應該問題不大，打 些消炎針和補鉀的針，開些藥就不會有事了。但醫生卻要求立即住 院，大喊大叫說，不住院是會死人的！我們也不知道怎麼回事，慌忙 辦理手續，住進了內科急診監察室。此後母親持續高燒，急診內科的 主任就是那位現在網上熱議曾受到訓誡的女醫生對我母親非常重視， 其他醫生也都很緊張，低聲議論說，又一個發熱的，到底怎麼回 事……。之後，我母親也在當時來說是破例做了核酸檢測，數天後才

二 月

125

有結果，好在是陰性。我母親住院時間是周六，到下星期一，一大早 我們就看見中心醫院就醫的病人擠滿了門診大廳，多數為發熱病人。 詭異的是，到星期二就醫人數又減少到正常狀態。不管如何母親總算 治療及時，順利地康複出院。之後我父親可能是受到感染也開始發 燒，寒戰，全身疼，幹咳。但他堅持不去醫院，就在家中服藥臥床， 一個星期後竟自然康複了。據說之後武漢發熱病人又開始激增。期間 我母親照慣例到中心醫院消化內科看門診，這時候醫生們已經非常 緊張，還說我母親真是膽子大，這種時候還到醫院來，讓她趕緊拿藥 回家，千萬少出門。再之後忘記了具體時間，單位同事接到微信信息， 說是海鮮市場出現了很多傳染性極強的病毒感染病人，提醒大家防 範。一時間議論紛紛，但又無法證實真偽。再之後媒體開始辟謠。再 之後我們就變成了現在這個樣子。 這期間還有件非常重要的事情。元旦前弟媳回國探親，從來不去 教堂的父母在弟媳的勸說下都去教堂去做了禮拜，弟媳的父親還做 了洗禮。至目前，我們大家身體狀況都很好。確實，我們都受到了神 的庇護。感恩！ 今天，小區的管控好像又平靜了些，那些機關幹部的人數好像也 變少了。晚上我下班回家時，出入口只有兩個黨員志願者，看見我還 主動打招呼說，下班了啊。挖槽，這一冷一熱還真有些像感冒發熱啊。 不過，現在小區真的是不許一般居民出門了，超市也停止了營業， 居民買菜購物都通過微信組團。這樣一來生病的居民尤其重症患者 買藥成了大問題，於是上面領導就讓社區負責。消息一傳出，社區立 刻就接到了二三十位居民送來的重症病曆和醫保卡，有的還附上了 現金。最重要的是從明天起給這些重症病人買藥的任務竟然交給了 我。按說這是辦善事，必須給辦好，但萬一有個差池，或者藥沒有買 到，或者錢給弄錯了，我必定是那個被罵得狗血淋頭的人， 至於那些非重症的病人的買藥問題，社區也想到了辦法，就是交 給社區的居民黨員來完成反正他們。呆在家裏沒事，出來透透風也算 是個解放，而且在這種時候他們都自然地成了志願者，不願意也不 行。用我們的話說，黨員不是那麼好當的，現在正是體現他們的先進 性的時候。 老實說，我還真是很憂鬱。封閉的期限在延長，不知道盡頭在哪 裏，人不是一個物件可以隨便放在一個房間中無視時間的沖擊。各種 矛盾問題都在萌發之中，病人、老人、沒有了收入的困難居民群體等 等等等，怎麼處置，辦法在哪裏？

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武漢封城日記

2020 年 2 月 21 日 星期五

早上有零星小雨，中午時天空放晴。陽光下站久了感覺很是燥熱。 今天小區管控依舊，沒大的變化。我及另一位同事還有兩位年輕 的志願者一大早乘社區的的士，到黃石路大藥房給重症患者居民買 藥。委托社區購藥的居民人數不斷增加，病曆資料把的士的後備箱裝 得滿滿的。 社區給居民購藥的規定是政府下達的，但各個社區的執行力度並 不相同。我們把大包小包的資料搬下車時引來不小的驚歎之聲，給藥 店增添了不小的壓力。現場仍然人滿為患。顯然各社區對這個規定的 理解也不一致，有的社區只是開個證明讓居民自行到藥店購藥，而藥 店依照規定只接待社區單位，一時間各種質疑乃至謾罵聲不絕於耳。 一位七十多歳的老頭訴說，一星期前藥就沒了，來了三次都沒弄到 藥，幹脆死了算了。那些維持秩序的保安們七吼八叫胡亂指揮，把現 場弄得亂糟糟的。 這家藥店購藥流程跟到醫院看病差不多，首先要辦理所謂相關聯 結的手續如同醫院掛號一般，然後要在櫃臺開處方，然後劃價，結算 繳款，最後才能取到藥品。與我以前的經驗一樣，我們從早上領號排 隊，到下午 5 時許才得以進入藥房。抱著小山一樣的資料，再面對如 此麻煩的手續真有心亂如麻的感覺，而當我們好不容易弄清楚這些 規程，開始辦理時又發現很多資料並不齊全。有的居民沒有提供醫保 卡密碼，有的錢給的不夠，有的只有一個身份證連醫保卡也沒有。早 上社區將所有資料一股腦地交給我們，說這事簡單，沒啥難度。總之， 我們四個人手忙腳亂，一直忙到藥店下班也才辦理了一半。明天還得 去。我就覺得這個事真的是笨拙的要命，但是回想這段時期，從我們 遭受病毒襲擊到現在，那一次又不是這個樣子。一道道通告指令那一 次不是令人手足無措，朝令夕改成了通病。直到現在填寫各種表格依 然是各社區最核心的工作，接送病人的事永遠要拖到夜間進行，好像 只有在夜間才是安全的。出這麼大的事，不能說領導們不辛苦，但領 導們多數時間都在大大小小的會議上拼搏。在紛至遝來的指令下，暈 頭轉向的社區疲於奔命。

二 月

127

當然，總體來看，現在整個防疫工作總算有了一定的模樣，逐漸 步入軌道，但各種矛盾也日益突出。城市是什麼，城市生活是什麼， 很多身居這座城池的人們好像並沒有真正理解。如果把防疫僅僅理 解為封閉隔離，那危機四伏也必在情理之中。這並非聳人聽聞，生活 在城市，柴米油鹽、水電、燃氣等等缺少一樣都會死人。堤與蟻穴的 關系誰都清楚，也常常被一些人掛在嘴邊，但在現實中視而不見卻是 人們慣常的德性。 出小區時看見有商販將一袋袋蔬菜放在小區出口旁邊，等待能夠 出入小區的居民購買。上前一問，這樣的一袋竟要 80 元錢。也就是 一些白菜、蘿蔔什麼的，這怎麼能夠保證老人孩子及病人們的營養。 而且如此居高不下的物價之下，我們並沒有看到任何針對困難居民 低保居民的進行補貼的政策和措施。有人調侃說，銀行都不營業了， 就算發補貼那些人也沒處去領取。我本人在這短短的時間裏就已經 開銷了一萬多元，其他更加困難的居民又都處於怎樣的境地。據我所 知，很多人已經很長時間沒有吃肉，而其他如豆類食品同樣短缺，難 於求購。 下班回家時，在小區出入口赫然看見路燈下站立著幾十個男女， 彼此相隔近兩米距離，一動不動，不言不語，跟一根根排列整齊的木 樁似的。我不禁問那守門人，這是怎麼呢？那家夥竟然面無表情地 說，這不關你的事。這倒讓我緊張起來，空蕩蕩的小區，大晚上竟然 出現這麼個情況，還真有些滲人。走了很遠遇上一個社區的熟人，才 被告知這些都是來領取團購商品的居民，送貨的還沒到，他們就這樣 一條線似的站著。其實到現在我還覺得很奇怪。畢竟都這麼晚了，一 個個的還都站立的那麼筆直，那麼整齊，沒有任何表情，我甚至覺得 他們的身高也都驚人的一致……

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武漢封城日記

2020 年 2 月 22 日 星期六

天氣晴朗，陽光充沛。 站在陽光下，已經沒有冬天的感覺。小區裏的梅花繼續開放，香 味十分濃鬱。幾株白玉蘭也舒展開雪白的花瓣。在我們這裏，白玉蘭 是繼臘梅最早開花的樹木，碩大的花苞在陽光下兀自綻放，不需要綠 葉的襯托。 此刻，在這座以中國陸地交通樞紐而聞名的廣大城市，一千多萬 民眾在各自大大小小的房間中，隔著牆壁、玻璃窗體驗著生活的淒美 和寂靜，許多人還沒來得及放聲痛哭和嘶吼……。 下午，當我們終於將給居民購買的藥品抱下車時，那位幹練的志 願者興趣盎然地舉起手機，熱情地為我們留影。她那認真執著的神 情，似乎要證明，只要你願意，生活就很完美。 生活中我一直充當宅男的角色，除了獨自娛樂也愛思索，我也希 望自己能夠明白清楚地生活，但這未必不是一種逃避，自欺。 記得在我們從同事那裏得知有非常強悍的病毒在我們周圍傳播 的信息時，我所想的卻是，這回社區又會忙碌，擔心這個春節不會好 過。懶散慣了的人對加班往往有本能的畏懼，就如我們從來都是被自 願的志願者那樣，我們這裏的加班從來都是無償的。但很快媒體辟謠 說，根本沒有我們擔心的那些事情，心情立刻就恢複了平靜。 我已經有十多年不看報紙和電視，但人總有捕捉對自己自認為有 利的信息的欲望和本能。我對這個病毒真正警惕並感到恐懼，是在大 約 1 月 20 日左右的時候，那時候媒體已經不再辟謠。記得我在手機 上看到一位同事的視頻，好像還是他自己錄制的。他不知何故去了一 家醫院的急診室，說在那裏隨時可以看見幾具屍體躺在地上，特別恐 怖。通過視頻可以看見醫護人員跑進跑出，有人哭喊，有一個人躺在 地上，好像已經死了，一些等待就診的病人呆呆地站立或坐在一旁， 沒有表情，似乎也沒戴口罩。一些網友呼籲，戴口罩！要戴口罩……。 到 1 月 21 日，佩戴口罩的人開始多起來。22 日，已經很少有人乘坐 地鐵及公汽，這一天社區一位老人突然去世。據說該居民本來就患有 肺病，當日早上突然病情嚴重，被抬上救護車時人已經沒了。23 日

二 月

129

清早突然看到武漢封城的消息，感覺整個人徹底落入了冰窟。搶購口 罩、醫用酒精成為人民的頭等大事。 大年初二，社區全員上班。之後社區不斷收到有居民發熱患病的 消息。政府下達了以社區為基本單位，全面開展實施隔離及上報、篩 選、接送發熱病人就醫和為病人家屬及全體居民提供防疫服務的通 告。一些救援物資也開始進入社區。但是嚴重缺少床位，病人家屬到 社區哭鬧，在社區表示無能為力後，有的居民將病人抬到了社區。一 對年輕夫妻在社區了哭訴了一天，社區表示一定積極向政府部門匯 報並爭取床位，但病人在第二天早上去世…… 各種投訴雪片般撲向社區，政府部門嚴令街道、社區必須及時做 好一切防疫工作，對任何不作為、懈怠及失職行為予以嚴懲。政府督 查部門的幹部開始到各個社區檢查督導防疫工作，一旦發現問題立 即嚴肅處理。一些社區工作人員主動辭職或直接離去…… 從開始到現在，幾個主題語特別鮮明，傳謠，辟謠，要戴口罩， 封城，缺少病床，缺少防疫物資，隔離，封閉……，擔心會有更多所 謂的主題語會不斷出現並占據我們不斷仄逼的世界……

（為社區居民排隊購買藥物）

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武漢封城日記

2020 年 2 月 23 日 星期日

今天天氣還是很暖和，預報明天氣溫會升到 19 攝氏度，但冬天 的氣息猶在，多數草木依舊在蟄伏。 現在身穿全套防護服的人越來越多，大多集中在各小區的出入口， 有的居民出來領取團購物品也把自己包裹得潔白如雪。我從未看見 天天在街道和小區忙碌的環衛工人有這種打扮和待遇。剛剛封城的 那會兒，小區保潔員連口罩手套都沒有，我從社區偷偷拿了一些送給 他們，差點被打上好人標簽。昨天，社區分到一些據說是外地援助的 蔬菜，工作人員在房內分揀，那個掃地的老頭扒著樓梯欄杆一直在 瞅。感覺很是心酸，但沒辦法，就算我不怕得罪人強行給他一點也沒 意思，這種時候誰不需要呢，何況社區確實每天都要給一些孤寡老 人、困難戶分送蔬菜和其他物品。 上班的路上看見一個熟人在小區門口整理一堆郵件包裹，她在郵 政局做臨時投遞員已經好幾年。我有些驚訝，問她怎麼現在還可以郵 寄包裹。她說，其實一直都沒停過。現在小區把門的不讓進，有些居 民也遲遲不出來取，她只好在這裏等著。這段時間，從沒見過更沒做 過一件讓人感覺順遂的事情。 路上，一條小狗對著我汪汪亂叫，我不知道它想要表達什麼……。 一位年歲大的同事的孫子夜間突發高燒，一家人在醫院忙碌一宿，第 二天一早他還是堅持著上班，還興致高昂地講述當晚抱孫子看病的 經曆。說是醫院的人隔著老遠對他高喊，你不要靠近，你身上有毒！ 我去，我覺得自己真應該隔得遠點兒，也不知道其他人是怎麼想的。 我懷疑我們領導對這些事總是裝做沒看見。大年初二，剛一上班就得 知我們的一位同事發熱被送進了醫院，而且基本確診是冠狀病毒肺 炎。一時間大家無比緊張，激烈討論我們該怎麼辦，是不是也應該隔 離，因為很多人在年三十的時候還與患者在一起。領導們卻說不會有 事兒。大家說萬一我們也被感染怎麼辦，他就一直說怎麼會呢，怎麼 會呢。被逼急了，就說，不願意幹可以辭職，結果真有幾位年輕人辭 了職。也正是從那天起，在社區工作的人員都不敢與家人住在一起。

二 月

131

中午，在單位吃的是外賣盒飯。為啥我們敢吃盒飯？因為醫學權 威在媒體上說了，外賣不會引發交叉感染。大家都很放心，而且現在 外賣緊俏得很，沒點兒關系都難得訂到。 一般來說，具體事務都很明確，但我們總是對混沌情有獨鐘。最 近網上對中醫和西醫爭論得很厲害。很早以前我到中醫院看過一次 病，當時那位醫生簡單問了一下我的病情，也不拿脈，就讓我去驗血 做 CT ……，這使我感覺現在的中醫和西醫也沒啥區別，或者說中醫 其實只是一個傳說，已經不存在了。心理上我對中醫非常崇拜，但真 患了病我也只可能去看西醫，我還不至於拿自己的身體開玩笑。 中午吃飯時，社區接連收到早上被送往醫院就診的居民患者家屬 打來的緊急投訴電話，說是他們一大早將病人送到醫院，但醫院方面 說這幾個患者沒有核酸檢測報告，拒絕接受。現在病人困在醫院大廳 得不到治療，醫院的門衛又不許病人離開醫院。患者家屬質問社區怎 麼辦，社區到底是怎麼跟醫院方面交涉的？於是社區一邊趕緊與街 道聯系，一邊大罵上面那幫辦事的都特麼豬腦子，不幹人事。 以前我就覺得自己不是好人，現在我更加確認自己其實也是個罪 人。如果患病的是自己或家人處於如此境地，我還會坐在這裏安安穩 穩地吃午飯嗎。聽說一些街道的領導受到撤職處分，具體原因我不清 楚，但我覺得他們和我以及其他人其實並沒有也不可能有多大的區 別。 微信工作群裏，很多社區都在抱怨，到處都買不到胰島素，有的 居民患者已經停藥三天了……萬分火急……。還有社區反映買不到 給精神病人的藥，這怎麼得了。

132

武漢封城日記

2020 年 2 月 24 日 星期一

今天氣溫最高達到 25 攝氏度。 春天真的來了麼，我看見樹葉在陽光下閃耀著晶瑩的光點…… 一場聲音清脆的漢罵似乎打破了這座城市在終於基本解決床位 奇缺的難後維持了多日的沉寂。漢罵也在引發社區與居民之間由來 已久的矛盾和對立情緒。 今天一早，小區裏也有居民在陽臺上破口大罵，表達對購買食品、 藥物等日常必需品現狀的不滿。 這次封城的時間剛好卡在除夕的前一天及臘月二十九，按照習俗 人們在春節前都在家中准備了充足而豐富的過節食物和生活必需品。 這些儲備甚至可以維持到正月十五，這也正是封城後的一段時間居 民購物的矛盾並不突出的主要原因。自不待言，這為政府各部門開展 物質統籌調配留下了充裕的時間，實現平穩銜接並非不可能。然而事 實好像並非如此。恐怕在一些領導者眼裏，只有將所有人關在家中， 以期徹底切斷感染渠道才是他們唯一重要的工作任務，也惟其如此 才能讓領導的領導們放心。若真是如此，我覺得這是一種極其可怕， 極有可能帶來人道主義災難的思路，當然也只能是一廂情願的。一座 有一千多萬人口的城市哪怕處於目前極端特殊時期，盡最大可能維 持城市的正常運轉不僅是必要的，也是保證防疫行動順利進行的基 本前提。對此沒有清晰的認識，那我們就真的是盲人騎瞎馬夜半臨深 池了 目前居民采買食品、藥品困難，重症慢性病患者就醫困難，貧困 家庭甚至處於難以為繼的境地，大大小小的尤其私有企業者的困境 更是顯而易見。亡羊補牢當然需要，但永遠都在亡羊永遠都在補牢， 讓人如何理解，又會給普通市民帶來多大的傷害和損失？ 今天政府發布十八號通告，對十七號通告予以否定糾正。 一位老年居民反映子女不在身邊，老兩口在家中已經好幾天沒有 吃到蔬菜，他們也不會通過手機微信參加團購，社區便送了些蔬菜給 他們。社區向困難居民發放防疫物品禮包，當然數量有限。網格員給

二 月

133

一些孤寡老人困難戶送蔬菜及消毒物品。有臨產孕婦去醫院被小區 門衛攔住不能出門，據說管那個出入口的機關下沉幹部工作特別認 真，有原則，表示就是皇帝老子也不能出去，那家夥腦子真是有毛病。 有的退休居民手中的現金用完了，銀行又沒有營業，怎麼辦（他們手 中大多只持有存折）。有位發熱病人不知怎地，竟然從醫院跑出來了。 還有一位發熱患者至今沒能住進醫院等等。 我們好像永遠也擺脫不了摸石頭過河的命運。 下班路上，看見一家小雜貨鋪在悄悄營業，便趕緊買了一袋大米 和兩袋食鹽、一提卷筒紙。在這樣的非常時期，有人利用一切機會自 救，有人在翹首等待政府的政策安置，當然也有人啥也不操心，因為 會有人將一切送上門。 作為一介小民我真心希望那家雜貨鋪能夠經營下去，如果路燈突 然熄滅，我希望他們的窗口依然是亮著的……

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武漢封城日記

2020 年 2 月 25 日 星期二

今天氣溫穩定在 25 攝氏度。很多人脫掉了棉衣。 今天社區人員第一次正常下班，說這是一個重要的轉折並不為過。 顯然，每個人，每個集體和組織都有自己評判事物的角度和標准。 這兩天，微信群、QQ 群包括手機短信充滿了政府著力解決重症慢 性病患者買藥難問題方面的信息。全市增加了 50 家重症慢性病患者 購藥定點零售藥店。 一大早就有居民打來電話，催促社區趕緊地幫忙買藥，但社區人 手不夠，忙不過來。雖然政府下沉了很多機關幹部到社區，但他們只 負責守門，畢竟把住門戶才是重中之重。社區有些人對幹部看不順 眼，幹部們也對社區有些意見。他們或許真的搞不懂這些社區人員到 底在忙些什麼。 今天有督查官員到社區檢查。據說他們曾在一些社區搞釣魚式詢 問，比如問你，你們這兒離超市很近吧，很方便采購嘛，畢竟自己的 家人也需要照顧啊等等，總之，就是這樣直截了當地繞你，把你當傻 逼。所以他們也很招人嫌。當然這不並是說社區人員在他們面前敢不 畢恭畢敬，除非你不想幹了。 一個人處於危境，就會像貓一樣四爪據地，睜大眼睛，豎起耳朵， 捕捉四周一切信息，至少我現在就是這個樣子。中午時，一個同事開 了社區證明，准備駕車到超市采購，問誰願意去幫忙。我立刻放下手 中的活兒說，我去，我願意去！我當然是想借機給家裏買些物品。現 在多數超市只與社區對接團購業務，而我們去的這家超市只要有社 區證明就可以進去自行挑選商品，於是我買了一些蔬菜、水果、豬肉 豬骨，抽空給父母送去。共花費 400 多元。 人只要活著就會有想法。將滔滔不絕的想法比作河流非常貼切。 也許你很難想象，幾位月薪才一兩千元的社區小保安會在一起正 兒八經地討論如何徹底解決防疫行動中存在的各種矛盾和問題，但 這是真的，而且他們還找到了最終的解決辦法。雖然他們的辦法就是 付諸暴力，也就是誰不聽話就直接抓起來或者揍一頓。或許你覺得他

二 月

135

們幼稚可笑，不屑一顧。但他們是有理論依據的，而且是我們必須正 視的理論依據。那依據就是一句話，少數服從多數。雖然已經有很多 人文化人已經從理論上明白，所謂的少數服從多數，最終只能導致多 數服從少數、所有人服從幾個人甚至一個人的結果。只有實實在在地 維護了每一個人，每一個具體的活生生的人的權益，那所謂的多數人 的權益才能得到保障。其實哪有什麼多數人，我們每一個人都只能處 於少數的位置。幾乎沒有例外，歷史上那些高喊少數服從多數的人們 最後都把自己變成了悲慘的少數。當你為維護多數人而將少數人幹 掉時，剩下的多數人中又會出現少數人，如此循環切割，那被幹掉的 厄運最終會落在每一個人的頭上。然而（實在是艱澀無比的然而）， 理論只是理論，嚴格地說文化人的理論只能是理論，至少在我們這裏 就是如此。現實中，文化人的理論大廈總是難逃轟然倒塌命運，也就 是說沒什麼卵用。 我見識有限，但我愛思索。尤其在這樣的時候，窗外正在下雨…… 幫一位慢性病重症患者買藥，花掉一個下午的時間。

136

武漢封城日記

2020 年 2 月 26 日 星期三

清晨，下了一整夜的雨終於停了，氣溫回落但並不冷。 今天各小區門崗有警察，有人說是外地支援的，快到中午時又都 撤走了。 一大早接到一位保潔員的電話，說她家裏的米面都沒有了。按說， 保潔員每天都可以進出小區，家中一點糧食都沒貯存還是很令人意 外的。在上班的路上打聽到一家雜貨店還有大米賣，便立刻聯系那個 保潔員，卻被告知她自己已經解決了。 我好像有了點購物強迫症的感覺，一有機會就想要買點兒什麼， 都不怎麼考慮錢的問題。我自忖這是內心的恐慌的表現。非常羨慕那 些機關幹部處驚不變的沉穩。對有些人來說，歲月靜好並不只是嘴上 的說辭和誇耀。 近兩天，送快遞的明顯忙碌起來。一家北方餃子館還在售賣速凍 餃子，60 元錢一斤。老板是東北人，他很樂觀，說武漢的疫情很快 就要結束啦。同事說，街上的車輛比以前多了。這些都似乎有所預示 並與媒體的疫情報道有所對應。 一些由政府招錄的志願者下派到了社區，據說每天報酬 100 元， 主要工作是幫小區居民買藥，也提供一些其他服務，每日工作時間 5 小時。 有人從外地打電話到社區，要求提供電子版的返回武漢的證明。 接電話的人覺得有些莫名其妙，後來從領導那裏得知，最近還真的有 這方面的新規定。社區人員行事兒較為粗放，但並不表明社區人沒有 細致謹慎的一面，世故圓滑從來都是那些資深社區工作者的基本功 夫，什麼該說什麼不能說心裏很清楚，當然傻缺也不少。近幾年來， 社區對開具證明這種事非常敏感，怕擔責任。自保是人的本能。 團購的渠道看來還比較暢通，但居高不下的價格令居民很不滿意。 我看了一個居民團購的物品，一棵約兩斤重的大白菜、一兩斤豆腐 幹、幾節蓮藕還有幾根胡蘿蔔，這些就花掉 120 多元錢。

二 月

137

早在人們搶購口罩的時候，網上就有政府是否應該對物價進行管 控的爭論。其實爭論的雙方都忽視了一個最基本的因素，那就是現 實。現實是，一方面在經曆了幾十年的經濟改革後，私有企業、小商 小販個體戶已經普遍存在，市場已經存在，全面管控談何容易。另一 方面，政府在市場中始終處於主導地位，國有企業依然龐大無比。管 控調整每天都在進行，管控市場不僅是各部門獲取利益之必需，而且 也是權力的體現和象征。對這最基本的現狀視而不見，使雙方的爭辯 都顯得無的放矢。 風暴的中心總顯得異常平靜。處於疫情中心有幸尚未染病的我們 繼續著自己越來越簡單的封閉生活。我們對生活在另一層樓、另一個 房間的人們一無所知。我們需要網絡上那些遠隔千裏的人們提供的 信息來證實我們的存在、猜測和疑慮……，我們也不知道樓下是否有 救護車駛過，它們通行無阻，無聲無息…… 有位同事剃了個光頭，不是他自己也不是家人給剃的，而是在路 上一個挑著剃頭挑子的老頭給剃的，這令我驚訝不已。

138

武漢封城日記

2020 年 2 月 27 日 星期四

陰天，間有零星細雨，氣溫有所下降，但不覺得寒冷。 我覺得疫情的基本趨勢已基本呈現。新增確診病例多為先期存量。 社區重點開展雙清零工作，也就是實現居民小區內所有疑似病人、密 切接觸者全部入院治療和隔離。雖然期間也出現一些摩擦和阻礙，但 趨勢應該不會改變。社區壓力得到緩解。這其中最為關鍵的因素，在 我看來就是床位，有了床位，病人及時入院治療——哪怕沒有針對性 的特效藥物而只是一般的支持性治療，防疫工作的秩序也就自然形 成，步入正常軌道也是順理成章的事。 某小區有一家密切接觸人員，街道當晚派車要將他們送往方艙醫 院，但具有記者身份的戶主最早收到的信息是前往酒店隔離而不是 去醫院，於是戶主要求工作人員出示政府有關實施強制隔離的文件 和具體針對其本人及家人的隔離通知書，工作人員居然都拿不出來， 雙方僵持一個多小時。 有社區人員下班回家與其居住的小區守門的機關幹部發生沖突。 事後，那些下沉到社區的機關幹部拿著當時的錄像視頻將社區工作 者告到了紀委，令其賠禮道歉。社區工作者氣的渾身發抖，有沖天怨 氣。 上午給一個居民小區消毒，噴灑 84 消毒液。路上看見一位流浪 者坐在路邊的臺階上，衣衫襤褸，渾身汙垢，口罩自然也是沒有。社 區保安大喝了一聲，流浪人嚇得飛逃而去。可見網上的一些信息傳言 並不為虛。 人有三六九等仿佛自然規律。領導之上有領導，公務員之下有協 管員臨時工，也有社區工作者，當然還有乞丐流浪的人。 我只是陳述現象和目睹的事實。 自從社區建立以來，在社區工作的人心態就極不平衡。原因似乎 只有一個，那就是薪水太少，不及公務員、事業單位人員收入的零頭 兒。社區的人每月平均才 2000 多一點，而且沒啥福利待遇，退休後

二 月

139

的身份還被社保處劃入社會臨時流動窗口。如果將社區工作者的月 薪增加到四五千元，他們的幹勁兒和熱情立刻就會上一個臺階。 一位居民打來投訴電話，說他請社區幫忙買藥，藥沒買到手，醫 保卡上的錢卻給劃走了。這可咋整。 其實嚴格地說，所謂的防疫工作並不應該僅僅局限於預防治療。 眾所周知，目前市民日常生活方面的困難矛盾日益突出，恐慌已不再 局限於被感染。依照科學的理念來說，一座城市在任何時候都以該城 市的各基本領域如食品、水電、燃氣、民政救助等等部門的正常的充 分高效的運轉為基礎，在目前市民被封堵隔離的非常時期更是如此。 城市封閉了，各行各業也停止運營，極其危險，由此而造成人道主義 災禍也並非沒有可能。當然我關心的只是我們作為百姓可能要承受 的損失和危險，而不是其他。傳聞政府將組織動員五大超市公司實行 向市民出售十元十斤蔬菜包的惠民配送制度，差價由政府鋪貼。這當 然好，起碼解決了目前市民尤其困難群體最基本的吃菜問題，但具體 實施辦法及落實情況有待觀察。 今天我提前下了班，而其他同事為居民運送超市團購商品一直忙 到夜晚 7 點多鐘……。我對自己的本職工作一向如此，缺乏責任心， 一毛錢的使命感都沒有。

（為社區居民買的藥物）

140

武漢封城日記

2020 年 2 月 28 日 星期五

不大不小的雨下了一整天，感覺又回到了冬季，感覺春天還離我 們很遠，也許春天已經錯過了我們。 我們急切需要晴朗的天氣和不斷增加的溫度。 向市民推行十元十斤的蔬菜包消息，沒有任何人提及，好像只有 我一個人有所耳聞。莫非又是謠傳？我覺得這是可以惠及百姓的好 事，哪怕是謠傳或者有心人通過謠傳的方式提出的建議。當然這涉及 很大的一筆政府財政開支，而且將那麼多的物資分送到幾百萬個家 庭並非易事，但這不也正是我們的政府最拿手的事情嗎。短時期的統 購統籌統銷而已。 個人的見識終究有限，面對各種消息總是滿懷疑慮。 從網上得知，近期韓國也遭受冠狀病毒的重創，該國大邱這個地 方患者激增，面臨與我們同樣的難題，缺少床位及醫療設施和醫生。 通過視頻我們看到首爾市政長官向大邱喊話，請把患者送過來。毫無 疑問，這才是真正的一攬子救援方式。其實當初我們面臨同樣的困境 時，我也這樣想過，我也相信有很多武漢人這樣想過。我覺得將部分 重危病人轉移到醫療條件好能力強的其他城市，對我們來說其實並 不難，還非常符合國情。我相信那些專家權威、那些有影響力的網紅 不會不知道這一點，但是，沒有但是……，難道是我的想法不近人情? 一段來自異國的視頻讓我感慨不已。 中午時，一幫人無事，閑聊起國際關系，說到美國如何趁這次災 禍向我們下刀子，如何不給我們援助，派專家來也是想刺探我們在治 療及病毒研究方面的情報，又說到美國在國際上如何霸道無理，還說 到病毒與美國及軍運會的關系等等。大家的信息來自各個方面，依據 則主要取自於環球時報，可見環球的影響力多麼大，與我們社區工作 者的關系多麼密切而不是曖昧。 下午，中百超市的團購商品到達小區，社區負責維護小區內的秩 序，組織安排各個樓棟的居民按順序到廣場領取。由於訂購的量非常 大，足夠社區人員忙一個下午。目前居民購物買菜大多采取這種方 式，但很多老年人因不會用手機，沒辦法團購而叫苦不迭。當然各個

二 月

141

社區情況並不一樣，方法也不一致。我因為負責與來居民小區消毒的 單位對接而沒有參加。 中午就接到街道通知，說是政府部門要派專業人員到各個居民小 區消毒，讓社區派人到小區大門口與前來消毒的單位對接，確保消毒 工作落實。因為催的急，吃罷午飯就急吼吼地穿上雨衣趕到距離居委 會辦公地尚有一大段距離的小區門口等待消毒單位的到來，結果這 一等就等到下午五時許。老天一直下著雨，風冷颼颼地，感覺那些把 守小區的人還真是不容易。約五點二十分的時候，終於看到消毒的車 輛駛來，車上首先下來一個環衛的人，一個五十來歳的婦女，見我揚 手便徑直穿過馬路，跨過隔離欄，嘴裏嘟囔著：老子到底是圖了個什 麼。其實具體承擔消毒任務的是一個名叫藍天消殺的義務服務組織， 都是一些非常好的年輕人，志願者。

142

武漢封城日記

2020 年 2 月 29 日 星期六

終於雨過天晴，氣溫也在回升。向窗外望去，穿越了雲層的陽光 似乎還要經受風的考驗。 十元十斤的蔬菜包一事算是得到澄清，原來確有其事，超市也有 配備，但只向困難居民供應而不是面向所有市民。相對周圍其他人， 我的信息來源要少得多。在所有人處於封閉狀態的情況下，上班的人 們雖然面臨被感染的風險，但也由此獲得了一些自由，假設出現大的 變故，這未必不是一條自救的捷徑。 在我看來，無論處於什麼時候，身在何處，自救都是每個人的責 任也是本能。而那些深陷困境喪失自救能力的人們則是對周圍其他 人、組織群體乃至整個社會良知的考驗。在一般情況下落井下石的人 極少，下井救人的也不會很多，但在保證自身安全的前提下願意施以 援手的還是大有人在。但在非常時期呢？我不是基督徒，但我也知 道，在最危險的時刻那些虔誠的人們會與神在一起。他們堅強，剛毅， 有穿越大川的力量而又滿懷柔情，他們將愛播撒給周圍的人們。我一 直想看見這樣的人。 關於滯留武漢的外地人和滯留外地的武漢人的遭遇多有見諸網 絡及一些媒體，我們這些處於封閉中的市民其實並不了解，感覺很驚 訝，替他們擔心。我也親眼看見過在空蕩蕩的大街上遊蕩的流浪者。 我想，我們最應該擔心的不是他們可能成為病毒的傳播者，而是他們 是否已經得到救助與妥善安置。如果他們所處的城市或地方沒有能 力安排他們，那麼就應該承認現實，而是不是掩蓋。沒有能力不可怕， 掩蓋，粉飾則是褻瀆良知。 我們在封閉中已經生活了一個多月，當初如果我們對危機並非視 而不見，並非搖擺猶豫，今天我們或許會有另一番際遇，另一番感慨 和思索。危機的烙印打在了我們每一個人的心裏。很多時候人類不僅 能夠度過危機，還能避過危機。危機有時候很明確，有時候四處潛伏。 雖然有很多質疑，我還是覺得疫情已經處於一個相對平穩的階段。 我們這裏已經三天沒有新增發熱的疑似病人，密切接觸人員除個別 情況特殊的也都進行了隔離。如果，我是說如果能夠以科學的態度和

二 月

143

方法實施管控，而不是逃避責任，胡幹蠻幹任憑權力施虐，那麼即或 又出現了新的疑似乃至確診病人，我們也能夠在目前封閉的條件下， 細心排查，清除源頭，從而在較短的時間內迎來我們所期待的轉折。 這並非沒有可能。 在目前相對穩定的狀態下，我們一般人關注更多的是自己眼下的 生活，是患有其他疾病的病人能否得到及時治療，所需藥品能否得到 保障，我們所需的生活物資能否得到充分供應，物品的價格我們能否 承擔得起。如果對此視而不見，那麼次生災難的發生也就真的離我們 不遠了。 這兩天有領導到社區檢查、調研、作指示。有位領導這樣說：現 在是非常時期，重中之重的工作任務是實現新增患者為零，並維持到 15 天的時間。只有這樣解除封閉才有可能。所以，居民要忍耐住這 段日子，要讓每一位居民明白現在不是享受的時候，不能想著吃香喝 辣，要一切從簡，盡量過最簡單的生活。每次聽到這些話總是感覺很 喪氣。 工商的領導解釋十元十斤蔬菜包的情況時說，這項政策只針對低 收入人群，不可能推廣到每戶，因為國家承擔不起，資金投入太大。 我覺悟太低，我沒法理解其中的深意。 最近一直在想，我們這些禁足在家中的人，如果一個個都活得跟 張紙片似的，營養不良，弱不禁風，那麼不要說冠形病毒，恐怕最一 般的感冒也能將我們擊垮，更不要說老人孩子和那些身患其他疾病 的患者，尿毒症患者、白血病患者、心髒病患者、癌症患者、嚴重的 骨質疏松患者、嚴重的腸道疾病患者等等等等等等 據我所知，在江漢區其實有兩個華南市場，一個是人們熟知的華 南海鮮批發市場，另外一個則是華南水果批發市場。這兩個市場按說 關系不大，但它們之間的距離並不太遠，據說那個水果市場也有患 者，比例大於周圍其他人群。這是水果市場的人流量太大所致，還是 因為批發市場外來車輛人員較多，或者是這兩家市場雇傭的是同一 撥搬運工人，還是他們與一般人生活方式如飲食方式不同所致?也許 值得專業人員進行調查。 休息時，同事們又談論起美國，出乎意料的是基調竟與昨日完全 不同，罵美國的成了很微弱的雜音。我也不知道怎麼回事。這幫人還 真是隨心所欲。

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武漢封城日記

三月

2020 年 3 月 1 日 星期日

陰天。走在街上耳邊有呼呼風聲。 幾家半掩大門的商店和水果蔬菜店都在忙團購生意，不接待個人。 若有人問詢，裏面要麼不搭理要麼甩出一句話：不賣！相當霸氣。 藥店大都在營業，所有的藥店都在大門口擺張桌子，顧客就隔著 桌子沖著裏面報藥名。 有些小雜貨鋪偶爾會拉開卷閘門悄悄經營。有時老遠聽到嘩啦一 聲，然後又沒了動靜，走近看時，門還是關著的。路過一家小炒貨店， 一女的正用腳踢門：有病的都被抓光了，你怕個屁呀。老板只把門拉 開一半，彎著腰露出一張臉，小聲問：你要什麼?我花十元錢買了一 包炒花生，那女的卻一定要進去自個挑選。 覺得很是壓抑，覺得這一切才剛剛開始。 我對十元十斤蔬菜包的事還是很關心，心想就算不向所有市民提 供，那些低保戶總應該有份。仔細一打聽，才知道到昨天我們全社區 才弄到 5 份蔬菜包，這也太少了。更奇怪的是，下午我在自己所居住 的小區看見居委會正公開出售這種十元十斤的蔬菜包。我問，是不是 只有低保戶才能買，回答竟是誰都可以買。於是我也買了一包，有兩 只白蘿蔔、四只胡蘿蔔、兩顆小包菜，稱了一下，還真是十斤，不多 也不少。我也算是社區的人，但對這種情況還真弄不懂。 向市民出售十元十斤蔬菜包，我覺得這還真是件很好的事情，應 該向所有市民提供，不管怎麼說，身居武漢的每一個人現在都是災 民，既然是政府下的封閉令，那政府理所當然就要承擔解決所有居民 基本生活方面問題的責任，包括最基本的吃菜問題。其實這種十元十 斤的蔬菜也並不是多麼便宜，只是一般市民都能夠承擔而已。目前由 於封城，關卡重重，農民要把地裏的菜運進城裏非常困難，但政府卻

三 月

145

有能力直接將菜送到居民手中。如果全市推廣，既解決了市民吃菜的 問題又給農民帶來了收入。一舉兩得，兩全其美，多麼好的事。其實 嚴格地說，農民同樣也是災民，同樣因疫情遭受了重大損失。平時媒 體總說統籌兼顧，現在不正是大力發揮的時候嗎。 今天社區給幾個居民小區發放了免費的愛心菜，前來領取的人可 以分得一棵西蘭花菜和一大把紅綠尖椒（也有白蘿蔔但總共才十幾 棵）。數量有限，先到先得，送完就沒有了。看著那些平日裏總是一 副沉穩樣子的老頭三步並作兩步沖向領菜隊伍，真是有些心痛。這個 小區業主的條件都比較好，以往這些東西就算送上門也沒人要。但不 管怎麼說，真心感謝那些捐贈這些蔬菜的好心人，他們在救我們。謝 謝！ 最近幾天總聽有人說，現在非常時期，不是享受的時候，能夠不 死就是勝利。我覺得如果把這當成我們的目標，那十有八九的還會死 人。實在不明白那些人是怎麼想的，缺乏常識難道是我們的通病和傳 統？ 社區號召黨員交納特殊黨費，但不強迫。聽說有個黨員居民交了 5000 元。 這個月的工資到現在還沒有發下來。 聽說政府下達了給外來滯留武漢的困難人員發放 3000 元救濟金 的文件，還聽說這筆救濟款先由社區墊付。說法很多，不知道是真是 假，但這個救濟 3000 元的政策肯定是有的。 香煙很緊俏，價格低於 20 元一盒的煙根本買不到。據說煙草公 司沒上班，店家沒貨。難道他們不知道，有的人不抽煙也會丟命？ 聽說昨夜有個社區門被撬了，這種時候竟然也有小偷。

146

武漢封城日記

2020 年 3 月 2 日 星期一

中午後開始下雨，氣溫也有所下降。 2 月份的工資還沒有發放，說是銀行沒有營業。這理由很荒唐。 據說一月二十三日下達封城令後，從淩晨 2 時到上午 10 時就跑 掉 30 萬人。那些行動如此果決的人都是些什麼人。但就算如此，我 還是為他們感到慶幸，雖然他們絕非一群未蔔先知的人。 很早的時候就在想，為什麼我們一旦以某種形式被組織在一起就 會成為烏合之眾，平庸、愚蠢乃至邪惡。 他人即是地獄，我們對於他人也是地獄。良知，惻隱之心被我們 視作人的底線，但其實底線是會被突破的。所以人們尤其那些大學問 家呼籲，要保守底線。而他們拿出的藥方便是教育，但教育也是可以 被出賣的。於是啟蒙家們將矛頭指向了制度。但制度如何能夠被改 變？制度並非一個人而是所有人共同建造和維護的。面對強暴，有人 恐懼，有人歡呼雀躍，最終也有人抗爭，但在抗爭中獲勝的人也要將 強暴加諸於他人。於是最終我們回到原點。信仰，是的，信仰是人類 精神的原點。信仰不是我們所理解的世界觀，信仰的目光超越了我們 所生存的世界。 有一刻我們猶如天使；有一刻，我們如同魔鬼。就好像有時我們 很健康，有時疾病纏身而且將病毒傳播給他人。 就好像有人說，我一生勤懇，無愧於家人同事，最終落得求一張 床位而不得的結局。其實一開始結局就已經注定，只是各人機緣有所 不同而已。 李文華醫生冒險救治冠狀病毒患者的事件已家喻戶曉，而一紙 調查報告卻將人們的目光引向了對該醫師行醫資格的質疑，好像我 們現在要面對的不是嚴峻的疫情形勢而是對行醫規範的整治。何為 大局，何為末節，解釋權永遠把持在某些人手裏。所謂效果及副作用 不明確，這些不正是那些醫學家們應該繼續研究求證的課題嗎。由此 我這個門外漢也想知道，那些在藥店常年銷售的中成藥的說明書上

三 月

147

所標明的副作用尚不明確 的字樣，又該作何解釋。醫 學界的種種弊端人人皆知， 此刻板起一副正人君子的 面孔給誰看，又意欲何為。 此刻我更想知道，美國的那 種具有一定針對性的藥物， 經過這麼長時間的試用效 果到底如何，到底是行還是 不行，為什麼至今沒有消 息。 所謂疫情防控在我看來 無非是，一般人在掌握科學 常識的基礎上積極主動防 範，自律。對患者則是積極 治療，有床位，有設施，有 醫生，有藥物。我覺得就是 這麼簡單。所謂簡單，也就 （買到的蔬菜） 是說沒有多餘。前提是尊重 科學，尊重常識，尊重人性。如果不是這樣，我們就只能以犧牲為代 價，並在次生災害中掙紮，付出更大的犧牲。 今天是相對平靜的一天。雖然有的居民小區有中風病人和其他有 待觀察的發熱病人被送入了醫院。 有外地滯留在漢人員申請 3000 元的救濟金，他們希望得到現金 而不是被一般性的安置。 一位解除了隔離期的居民要求做志願者，社區幹部說要研究，其 實是婉言謝絕。 今天又購買到一些鹽、味精、醬油、醋香皂及食物。這些物品都 沒怎麼漲價，但對一般人家仍是一筆不小的開支，尤其在目前非常時 期。沒錢寸步難行，何況很多東西有錢也難得買到。我們可以每天進 出小區尚且如此，其他人若非有好的單位組織做依靠，恐怕真的只能 將生活需求降低到最簡單最基本的標准，而隔離還要持續多久，誰也 不清楚。 一位居民花 200 元買到 4 斤豬肉，成色還不錯。

148

武漢封城日記

2020 年 3 月 3 日 星期二

陰天，陰冷。 自 1 月 23 日封城到今天， 我們處於封閉隔絕狀態已有一個多月。 人們似乎已經習慣並認同了這樣的生活。甚至有同事說，居民們每天 吃飯睡覺看電視，也不需要工作還有什麼好抱怨的。還有人認為，一 些居民把自己當成了皇帝，成天要求這要求那，恨不能每天山珍野味 供著。人與人總是如此不同，如果此刻有禮賢下士的政府官員坐在我 們中間，看著我們一張張樸實簡單的面孔和表情，他或許真的會以為 一千多萬江城市民正過著神仙般的悠閑日子。當然，現實中這麼傻的 官員並不多見，他們比我們精明。 在網上看到一位網友說，鐘南山無非就是一個體制裏的人，被神 話了。其實，神化，一直是我們的傳統。只要喜歡，我們可以將任何 一個同類捧上神的位子，反過來也可以將他打入地獄。 常常有人說，你覺得某某做得不行，那你去試試。我覺得這話並 沒有錯。體制是一種異常可怕的東西，是一架攪拌人的精神而不僅僅 是肉體的無比龐大的機器，在這架機器中，任何一個人都只能依循它 的規則去思想去翻滾。這與你是天才還是蠢材沒多大關系。體制是權 力的體現，只要在體制中你就只能是權力的傀儡。這個世界上從來沒 有哪一個人可以真正做到掌控權力，希特勒不行，秦始皇也不行。從 來都是權力掌控我們每一個人，掌握權力只是幻覺。 語言表達了一個社會的文明程度和非文明的程度。所謂武漢人民 做出巨大犧牲的說法是很不吉利的也是令人費解的。犧牲從來都是 自願主動的行為，而不是被動被命令的。主動的犧牲是高尚的，被犧 牲則是悲慘的。從來都是一個地方出現災難，人們千方百計去援助那 裏的人而不是想辦法犧牲掉那裏的人，這是人道主義最基本的含義。 鐘南山先生的團隊預測封閉需要維持到四月底，我不知道依據是 什麼。張文宏先生認為，不盡快複工，人口死亡率將高於新冠肺炎死 亡率。我覺得這是實事求是的判斷，雖然他依然是站在一個醫生的角 度來說這番話的。封閉本身就是風險極大的舉措，而封閉小區則是險 中有險。對這一危險所可能造成的後果沒有充分的認識，必然導致舉

三 月

149

止失措，莽撞無理。集中所有的力量救治病毒患者而將其他病人的救 治置之腦後，為防止疫情擴散而封閉城市和小區而將市民基本生活 需求置之腦後，那麼由此帶來更加嚴重的次生災害幾乎難以避免。亡 羊補牢只是在羊已經丟失情況下的無奈之舉，是在付出慘痛代價後 的盡力挽救，而不是業績更不是豐功偉業。當然這只是個人的看法， 更多的人其實還是認為應該先解決眼下的問題，以後的事以後再去 想法子。 有很多外地滯留人員要求領取救濟金。我覺得最好的辦法是在妥 善安置他們的生活的前提下，盡快地將他們送到他們自己的家鄉。不 知道那些當地政府為什麼沒有想到這一點，為什麼沒有設置便捷的 通道讓他們安全地返鄉。 工資終於到賬。 今天又接受到一些防疫物資，有口罩、隔離服裝等等。有點馬後 炮的感覺，亡羊補牢的感覺。 小區物業好像終於醒了，首次向業主免費發放蔬菜，但品質數量 和種類都比社區所發放的要好很多。 有位業主要求社區幫助買貓糧，說他家的貓快要餓死了。一些同 事覺得這業主很可笑。我覺得救貓也是救人，答應幫他打聽購買。晚 上業主又打來電話，說貓糧已經從網上購得，表示非常感謝我對他們 的理解。

150

武漢封城日記

2020 年 3 月 4 日 星期三

感覺久違了的陽光又鋪滿了城市。 雖然每天還是有 100 多一點新增的確診病人，但感覺所謂的拐點 其實已經到來。我們都認為新增的確診人數絕大多數來自疑似患者 和密切接觸人員（家庭成員居多）。雖然也有一般居民出現發熱症狀， 但在醫院床位比較富裕的情況下，病人都能得到收治，病人所接觸到 的人和活動範圍都有跡可尋，大範圍擴散和交叉感染的可能性並不 大。 即便全面解除封閉還有待時日，但盡快複工，盡快恢複城市正常 運行理應是當務之急。尤其各個醫院必須盡快全面恢複到正常的工 作狀態，各科室門診應開始正常收治各類病人，其重要性和緊迫性不 比抗疫小半分，而難度或許更大。很多醫院尤其如中心醫院減員嚴 重，經過一個多月的積累，有更多的病人等待救治。市民們等不起， 其他重病患者更是等不起。不應該有絲毫猶豫。 社區有小幾十號人，再加上司機和志願者，每天吃飯也是很大的 問題。現在盒飯一份大多 40 多元，質量還很一般，收支窘迫的社區 實在承擔不起，所以每天買菜做飯也是社區的一項重要工作。 接到天然氣公司的電話，聯系在社區設置煤氣費圈存機的事情， 其實這個事已經熱議了一個多星期。如果有多家天然氣公司競爭而 不是像現在這樣獨家壟斷經營，相信進度會加快很多。 從媒體得知中心醫院又有醫生殉職。平時我們大多在這家醫院看 病，不禁要在心中為那些我們熟知的醫護人員祈禱，希望很快就能再 次看到他們尤其那些年輕人的面容和身影。也希望經過了這場與疫 情的生死拼搏後，那些年輕的實習生們能夠順利成為正式的醫生和 護士，而不要像以前那樣要到處托門子找關系才能爭取到一個正式 踏入醫院門檻的名額。他們都是經過了生死考驗的合格的優秀的醫 護人員。落淚。 有社區幹部提出，給滯留在漢的困難人員發放救濟金固然好，但 如果這些救濟金用完了怎麼辦，還繼續發放嗎。很有道理，盡快地將 他們安全送回他們自己的家鄉才是最根本的解決辦法。

三 月

151

從媒體得知伊朗人湧入寺廟舔牆，並禱告說我們不怕病毒。但願 牆上沒有病毒。 從媒體得知東京馬拉松運動會如期舉行。有人說日本人蠢，嘿嘿， 獲取了那麼多諾貝爾獎的日本人蠢？

152

武漢封城日記

2020 年 3 月 5 日 星期四

天氣晴朗也很暖和。 封城至今已有三十多天。站在空寂的小區，依然能感受到春天潛 滋暗長的氣息。一些樹木已經發芽，梅花依然開得茂盛。而一些人已 經故去，再也看不到這年複一年的景致。 處於封閉中的人，對聲音非常敏感，熱衷於傾聽。此刻透過鳥鳴 和細微的風聲，可以聽見有人在私語，爭辯，問詢。昨天上午有個婦 女在陽臺上吼叫，引來一陣開啟窗戶的聲音。後來知道，這女的與自 家女兒爭吵，鬱悶至極後到陽臺發泄。這種時候，我們最怕聽到哭聲。 不知不覺中，施虐的疫情開始平複。網絡上已經有人開始討論， 這場災難後我們以及社會有什麼樣的改變。我覺得生活無時無刻不 在改變，但他們所期待或認可的改變恐怕不會出現。如果說有所期 待，我希望經過這場災變，我們可以對自己甚至對人類的面貌獲得一 些真實的了解。我希望我們能夠對自己有所反省思辨，對以往既有的 判斷更加謹慎，學會分析甄別。 三十多天來，我們看到了崇高也看到了種種無恥卑劣。那瞬間迸 發的真情、勇敢、愛意令我們感佩，每一滴淚水都在洗滌沖刷我們的 靈魂。而那些用巧言掩蓋的謊言、惡毒的行徑令我們作嘔蒙羞。那躲 躲閃閃的冷漠、曖昧令我們倍感沮喪寒冷。 但這一切很快就會過去，我們將回歸到以往的生活。我們善於遺 忘，我們不吝惜用最美好的文字編織苦難，目的也只是為了忘記。也 許我們不希望也不需要改變。真的是這樣嗎，我不知道。在上帝面前 我們永遠都是羔羊，總在迷失的路途中徘徊逡巡。 現在我只希望病毒在陽光下盡快消散，永遠遠離我們，永遠遠離 所有善良的人們。 一整天，我們幾乎都在搬運東西。又收到了很多隔離服之類的物 品，還是在十多天前我們尤其那些醫護人員是多麼地需要它們。 收到了政府下撥的蔬菜和一些米、油，我們負責將他們分裝，送 給各小區困難的居民。

三 月

153

有人買到一些豆制品如幹子、千張，這讓他們一家人倍感幸福， 孩子們個個吃的意猶未盡，興致高昂的同事不停地敘述著。 退休老人大多使用銀行存折，銀行沒有營業，他們取不到錢，而 現在他們最需要錢。 我們幾個吸煙的人在一家雜貨鋪買到了一些香煙。雜貨鋪開了一 小扇窗戶，老板把香煙遞出來，我們用手機微信掃一下，完成交易。 這讓我想起計劃經濟時代郊外的農民偷偷到城裏賣米的情景，他們 挑著擔子，悄聲詢問：要不要米，剛打下來的新米，不要糧票，很便 宜的……

154

武漢封城日記

2020 年 3 月 6 日 星期五

陰天，溫度卻不低。我們依舊穿著棉衣，走路、爬樓都會出汗。 從媒體得知，武漢新增病毒患者還是有 120 多個，應該是早期積 累下來的疑似患者數量過大，病毒潛伏期很長所致。聽說政府開始命 名零新增小區、社區、街道，政府是否會根據各地方疫情情況逐步解 除封閉？我覺得這是很好的辦法。根據各地方疫情變化的實際情況 讓市民逐步恢複正常生活，同時也可以集中力量對一些疫情嚴重的 地區實施更有效的防控和救助。 天然氣公司向社區下達切實做好幫助居民尤其困難居民購買天 然氣充值的工作的通知。內容很簡單，不容置疑的文字讓人覺得這家 公司具有城市燃氣管理的職能。權力無所不在。每一位市民都要聆聽 來自各個部門、行業的指令，這些指令早已融入我們生活的每一個細 節。 聽說有的小區因向居民發售十元一斤的凍肉造成人群聚集，市民 生活之窘迫可見一斑。 從網上得知，青山區一個小區有居民趴在窗口，向前來視察小區 服務工作情況的領導們呼喊，假的，假的，形式主義雲雲。這與疫情 早期有居民在陽臺上敲鑼求救有異曲同工之處，情急之下我們的表 達方式也是多種多樣的。 有個小區居民試圖出小區買藥，一位好心的民警將其攔截後代為 購買，那位居民拿到藥後卻說自己沒錢，最後還是要社區來墊付。 在對一個小區的住戶進行篩查時，發現有一戶居民全家只有一只 口罩，一家三口人輪流著使用。 從媒體得知，一名老嫗向醫護人員下跪表達感激之情。中國自古 有下跪的傳統。向皇帝跪，向父母官跪，向長輩跪也向恩人跪。日本 人跪著等同於坐著，中國人的跪那是真跪。我相信老嫗的感情是真誠 的發自內心的，但千萬不要讓年輕人學，因為年輕人一跪就跪回去幾 十年幾百年幾千年。

三 月

155

給滯留在漢的外地困難人員發放救濟金的事情並不順利，因為社 區不清楚困難的標准是什麼。還有人質疑，可以給外地人發救濟金， 為什麼不能給本地的居民發。本地一般居民一個多月來不能工作，沒 有收入，物價又比平日高很多，很多居民還要看病、買藥，而該交的 費用如燃氣費等一分錢都不能少，那些沒有積蓄的困難居民生活有 多麼艱難，這些難道不應該應該考慮……

156

武漢封城日記

2020 年 3 月 7 日 星期六

晴天，溫度達到 19 攝氏度。但天氣預報說，明天又會下雨。 新增確診人數首次降到 2 位數，約 97 例。這當然很有意義，表 明疫情正在走向尾聲。當然這只是我個人的判斷。 小區也有居民要求看病，自述發燒、腹瀉等等，我覺得有病看病 是再正常不過的事情，重要的是病人能夠得到及時醫治。倒是居民有 個頭疼腦熱都要向社區匯報，這種狀況絕對不能長期持續下去。 封閉城市乃至居民小區是一種極端的防控策略和措施，具有極大 的風險，必然帶來難以估量的損失和傷害 ，當然你說是這是必要的 犧牲我也沒辦法。而當初的市政長官打壓輿論、掩蓋疫情等失職行為 是最終導致封閉城市的一個重要原因。一場原本不該付出如此慘痛 代價的疫情，或許能夠讓我們認清權力與責任的關系、公民與權力之 間的關系，並認識到建立明確清晰的追責制度和相關法律對防範今 後發生類似錯誤避免類似慘禍具有多麼重要的意義。 人民日報發表題為破除民眾對領導幹部的感恩戴德觀念的文章。 沒細看內容，但這標題不錯，有水平。 在一個多月來困苦交加的封閉生活中，我們目睹了一幕幕人間慘 劇，忍受了那些本不該忍受的劇痛，我們理應變得更加清醒，不盲從， 勇於表達，努力維護正義和每一個公民應有的權益…… 在我看來，對病人應收盡收，對公民公開信息、普及科學知識， 是防止疫情擴散的基礎。失去這個基礎疫情擴散就無可避免。 美日諸國似乎並沒有出現如有些人所預想的可怕局面，從網上的 一些報道和視頻看，疫情並沒有給人們帶來多大的恐慌，在公共場合 戴口罩的都很少。這極大地顛覆了我們對疫情的認知。我想，這樣的 自信主要還是來自於一個國家強大的醫療資源和更加廣泛深入的科 學認識。 風聞采用穴位注射治療冠狀病毒肺炎的李醫生將赴韓國發揮自 己的技能與特長，如果是真的，還真是可喜可賀，所謂此處不留爺自 有留爺處，挺好的。

三 月

157

一整天都在搬運物品，一百份十元十斤的蔬菜包還有價值 4 萬元 的居民通過社區團購的各種物資，包括米面、蔬菜、肉蛋、油鹽醬醋 及衛生紙等等，而這些還僅僅是一個小區的。所有人一直忙到傍晚 6 點多鐘，而晚上九、十點還有一批蔬菜需要社區帶車帶人到很遠的地 方幫忙裝卸並領取。其實我很喜歡做這類不用動腦筋的體力活，越累 反而感覺心裏越安靜，但問題是社區忙到如此程度仍然只能解決部 分居民的部分需求。 解除封閉只是時間問題，在疫情逐漸趨向尾聲的時候，調整思路， 及時部署，盡快複工，恢複城市正常運轉極其重要關鍵。 不尊重科學，漠視民眾疾苦必將帶來災禍，無可饒恕。

158

武漢封城日記

2020 年 3 月 8 日 星期日

下午又下起小雨，綿綿不絕。俗語雲，春雨貴似油，但今年的春 雨令人傷悲。 據媒體公布的信息，新增確診患者人數繼前一日下降到 2 位數後 再次下降了將近一半。這當然是個好消息。如此執行封城政策的政府 將如何根據目前情況安排下一步的工作呢。不知道。 上午一位同事接到一個閨蜜的電話，說該閨蜜的父親患直腸癌， 因病情加重便叫了 120 救護車去醫院就診，令人無法相信的是，救 護車載著病人跑了三家醫院，三家醫院都拒絕接受病人。而 120 救 護車似乎還有個規定，就是把病人送到指定的醫院後，病人就與他們 不相幹了。最後病人被放在了一家醫院的門口，救護車揚長而去。現 在病人不僅不能入院治療而且連家也回不了。家屬與社區聯系希望 社區派車接他們回家，而社區司機怕傳染不願意出車。怎麼辦？同事 說，這種情況社區確實管不了，因為社區也要保證司機們的安全，最 後只能建議打 110 求救。照媒體公布的信息，目前已經有很多醫院 恢複了普通門診，開始接受其他病人。同事的閨蜜說，全他媽假的。 也不知道現在事情是否得到解決。同事說，這是我們身邊發生的事 情，其他我們不知道的這類事還有多少？難道疫情早期病毒患者因 無床位而四處哀嚎坐以待斃的慘劇還會發生？若悲劇重演，那就是 百分之百的人禍，又該由誰來承擔責任？ 那位感恩書記的一番感恩的話，成功地引爆了人們的憤慨。現在 的老百姓也不像以前那麼好忽悠了，畢竟殘酷的現實就在眼前。追 責，將責任一追到底，成為網民們最強烈的呼聲。 樓下有大喇叭喊，讓居民下樓領愛心菜，不要錢的。我正好下樓 卻沒帶用來裝菜的袋子，發菜的說那就沒辦法了，要不你用手摟點兒 回去？我趕著上班，只好放棄。 張文宏醫生說，中國人無需為美國著急，美國的醫療體系一旦啟 動，可以從容應對新冠病毒。我對這位醫生很佩服。

三 月

159

有同事說，李醫生將赴韓國的消息是假的。如果說那些醫學家為 維護現存的醫療體制而對李醫生這類人深惡痛絕可以理解，那我們 這些單純以解除病痛為目的的普通人及患者又該持有怎樣的態度呢。 今天一天社區除了接聽電話回複投訴，仍然以搬運居民團購的蔬 菜食品為主，又一直忙到傍晚時分。今天給另外兩個小區送菜，居民 們已經催了很長時間，雖然晚到了五六天，事情也總算是得到解決， 但一些居民目前最需要的肉類卻又缺貨，自然又招來一片罵聲。社區 的人很是委屈，罵這些居民沒良心。其實事情明擺著，社區就這麼一 些工作人員，而目前承接團購最主要的商家也就中百、大潤發等三四 個單位，這樣的力量如何應對得了一千多萬市民，招罵都算是好的。 需求，啥叫需求？需求包羅萬象，誰有能力滿足？毫無疑問，除了市 場，誰也沒轍。 仍然有很多領導到社區開展指導工作，諄諄教誨所有人一定要做 好居民的服務工作雲雲，一些居民也說上面的政策都很好，領導們也 都關心我們，就是社區這幫人把事情弄壞了。咋整。 看到一個視頻，有小區的物業人員將一些商戶送進小區的團購物 品往小區外面扔。看到這個視頻，還真是有點懵。據說今後所有居民 團購都要由社區組織並只能與中百集團等幾家單位對接，其他的商 家一律不得染指。若是真的，那可真是要了命。這到底是在搞管理還 是在搞破壞啊。

160

武漢封城日記

2020 年 3 月 9 日 星期一

下了一夜的雨，下午又開始繼續，風撲在臉上感覺有些冷。一波 三折是水的特性，而我們人生、社會和我們正在遭遇的疫情又何嘗不 是如此。 被封閉的人容易忘記時間日期，而現實又逼迫我們不得不保持警 醒。 今天的冠狀肺炎患者確診人數又有所下降，這也是意料之中的。 聽說鐘南山先生又預測或者說建議，將解除封閉的時間推算到五月 底之前。我覺得這是一種很不負責任的建言。當然，現在鐘老先生如 日中天，是民族英雄，任何質疑都有作死的危險。 如果單從控制疫情的角度來說，封閉的時間當然是越長越好。如 果我說，將解除封閉隔離的時間推遲到十月份我們就一定能將疫情 徹底控制，恐怕也沒有人能證明我是錯的，但這毫無意義，與扯淡沒 啥區別。如果說冠狀肺炎的死亡率是百分之 2 點 5 多或更高一些， 那麼白血病等疾病患者如果得不到及時治療其死亡率就一定是百分 之百。如果老人孩子以及身體虛弱者長時間處於營養不良的狀態，那 麼他們患病的幾率幾乎也是百分之百。 很明顯，現在政府也在調整部署，現實逼迫人們不得不隨時改變 思路。最近兩天，居民通過社區購買糧食即米和面以及食用油、醬油、 醋、食鹽包括衛生紙等物品的數量明顯增加，這表明居民家中的糧食 以及其他日用品的貯備均將告罄。長此以往，社區每天要采購裝卸的 就不僅僅是蔬菜了，不說其他就是這些物品的分量就足以將社區的 人壓趴下。即便如此，市民的基本需求也根本得不到保證。如果真的 發生這一幕，我們就又回到原點，還是兩個字，犧牲。讓廣大市民的 健康做出犧牲，讓老弱病殘者做出犧牲，讓困難居民做出犧牲等等。 我想，或許正是因為這些無可回避或必然存在的問題，美日德等國沒 有也不可能抄寫我們的作業。意淫沒有卵用，正視我們自身的問題才 算明智。 沒有任何意外，今天社區的主要工作任務依然是為居民搬運和分 送各種食品。

三 月

161

很多人說，既然可以給外地來漢滯留人員發放救濟金，為什麼就 不能給本地的居民也發一些呢。我覺得救濟當然是必要的，但終究是 權宜之計，杯水車薪解決不了根本問題。當務之急是什麼，人們都很 清楚，需要的是決斷，當然也需要一些智慧。 前兩天就接到社區通知，要對享受長壽津貼的老人進行審核。也 就是說，居民要拿出老人仍然在世的證明，老人才能繼續享受每月領 取 100 元的福利待遇。想不明白這些人到底是怎麼想的，難道就不 能等疫情過後再來辦理這類事情嗎。現在這麼弄，豈不是讓社區的人 去一家家地問，您家的老人還在嗎？鐵石心腸者還真是不少，對某些 人來說傷口撒鹽或許真的是他們的樂趣所在。 政府領導要求社區將幫助解決各種民生問題，滿足居民日常生活 需求作為工作重點。為確保防疫成果，現在要求社區對新出現的發熱 居民實行全程陪伴，也就是要社區人員全程陪伴病人看病直到病人 回到家中，以人盯人的方式完全掌控患病居民的活動軌跡。對此我真 的不知道該作何評論，反正說了也沒用……

162

武漢封城日記

2020 年 3 月 10 日 星期二

今天，陽光下的武漢流露出一些孤傲的氣質，人們坐在家中，並 不特別留意窗外的景色。 最近幾日，命名無疫情小區的事引人注目，只以為是為分批解除 小區封閉做前期准備，並不覺得有什麼特別意味。 與平時相比，被封閉的人更加關注自己的內心，對外面的風吹草 動大多持聽之任之的態度，反正也出不去。 今天新增確診人數又在下降，似有突破 2 位數的趨勢。現在正是 農曆 2 月春暖咋寒的時候，也是感冒和流感多發時期，常人稍有不 慎就會受涼，而那些感覺自己頭疼腦熱的人對是否選擇就醫也必多 有躊躇，畢竟交叉感染及隨時被隔離的風險還是讓很多人畏懼。 最近，媒體及網絡對他國疫情及那些國家所采取的防控政策多有 披露，雖然有爭議，但至少對我來說，確實起到了消除恐慌的作用。 難道這也是一種心理疏導和安慰。 很多人都說過，戰勝自我是人生的重要課題，也是邁向成功的開 始。我覺得很有道理。在目前尚沒有對症藥物和疫苗的情況下，消除 對冠狀病毒的恐懼從而獲得戰勝疾病的自信，對我們普通人尤為重 要。但如何獲得自信？ 在我看來，及時公開信息，廣泛宣傳普及防疫知識，提供充分而 強有力的的醫療資源，建立政府與公民之間的相互信任是消除恐懼 並建立信心的基本條件。 自一月二十三日封城至二月中旬，我們的城市被陰雲籠罩，一片 哀鴻。病人家屬將危重患者放倒於社區門口，社區人員在隨時都可能 被感染的危境中，顫抖著，不知所措。所有的反饋和表達都凝縮成世 間最冷酷也是最麻木的四個字，沒有床位，沒有床位。不斷傳來的死 亡消息無情地鞭打著整座城市。 這樣的人間慘劇為什麼會發生，就在這之前，我們還在喜氣洋洋 的准備過新年的氛圍之中，永遠充滿正能量的電視臺還在播放著萬 人盛宴舉國歡唱的美好畫面，行政長官還在義正辭嚴地駁斥一切謠

三 月

163

言，公安機關還在對傳謠者進行訓誡處置。然而悲劇還是發生了，突 如其來，猝不及防。之前我們的專家、學者和政府高官不是還信誓旦 旦地說經曆過非典，我們有足夠的信心和能力防範應對所有類似的 疫情嗎？ 沒有床位四個字，已經說明這個城市的醫療資源和能力薄弱到何 等程度，開展救治的醫生們竟然缺少口罩等幾乎所有的一切防護設 施而只能裸奔。在如此狀態中的市民如何能夠不恐慌、不恐懼，到哪 裏去獲得自信？而幾無懸念，恐慌中的政府連續失誤也在所避免。讓 病人坐守家中名曰居家隔離，造成更多的交叉感染；讓社區充當防火 牆掩體工事，使市民對政府失去信任。疫情之迅速擴散如潰堤之水， 無從抵擋。黑暗瞬間籠罩了整座城市、每個家庭。 反過來說，當初如果及時公開疫情信息，充分利用媒體網絡廣泛 宣傳普及科學的防疫知識，示範科學的防疫方法如勤洗手、避免人群 聚集等等，疫情何至於如此迅速蔓延，又何至於使所有發熱的人們在 突如其來的恐慌中一起湧入原本不堪重負的醫療機構，不遺餘力的 爭搶原本少得可憐的床位。如果在此之前，政府實實在在地致力於城 市醫療建設，加強醫療投入，培養防疫人才，那麼在疫情發生後對病 人做到應收盡收，恐慌又何至於越演越烈，以致病人因不得救治而暴 露並流動於社會，從而導致更為嚴重的交叉感染。 信息不能公開，輿論遭受打壓。為掩蓋真相欺瞞民眾，科學防疫 知識的宣傳普及就無從談起。醫療資源薄弱，醫療機構倉促應對，病 患者得不到及時醫治，恐慌就無從避免，民眾與政府間的信任也就無 法實現，所謂的共同抗疫只能流於口號。這就是這場疫情前期防疫失 敗並給市民造成巨大損失傷害的根本原因，而造成這一原因的原因 更需要我們深刻反省。否則，所謂的犧牲也只能是白白的犧牲，下一 次我們仍將重蹈覆轍。 沒有對根本原因乃至制度深刻反省的追責其實毫無意義，充其量 只是為政府官員們升遷罷黜提供一次契機而已。

164

武漢封城日記

2020 年 3 月 11 日 星期三

晴天但預報明天有雨。 小區裏的梅花已經開始凋謝。一群羽毛剛剛豐滿的雛鳥在萌發新 芽的樹間翻飛。 新增確診病例下降至 14 個。昨天市政府為慶祝部分新艙醫院停 業而舉辦了數百人參加的儀式，據說一些基礎單位也召開了有百數 人參加的會議。這是不是表明恐慌已經散去，解除封閉的日子已經不 遠了。 通過網上辦理返城手續的返漢人員逐漸增多。傳聞市內公交也將 開通，但有人說這是謠言。有的人認為政府將會分期解除對居民小區 的封閉，但也有人認為分期解除不公平，要麼都解除要麼都不解除， 否則沒有解除封閉的小區一定會鬧事，政府也擺不平。我們這裏經常 會有一些人就政府的事務發生爭論，因為爭論雙方都站在政府和領 導者角度之上，所以無論爭論多麼激烈也都只能算是人民內部矛盾。 出院回家後的患者也需要再做核酸檢測，都在社區人員護送及監 督下完成。做檢測的居民在醫院等待檢測的過程中，會有五六個穿隔 離服的人將其團團圍住，可能是怕居民跑路。人與人間的相互尊重在 我們這裏還是很奢侈的事。這對我們來說並不難理解，因為我們從來 都是這個樣子。 一個物業的人來問，能不能買到香蕉，有對老年居民特別想吃， 而且他們家裏也沒有蔬菜。今天社區又給各小區分發了愛心蔬菜，不 知為什麼這對老人沒有得到。 從網絡得知，新加坡對新冠肺炎的控制做的非常成功，人們沒有 恐慌，連戴口罩的人都很少，但他們控制住了疫情。新加坡人多數都 是華人，同樣的疫情，但結果完全不同。 拋開政治及制度等方面的因素，單從技術層面來看，我覺得新加 坡的成功源自政府采取了疏導的方式，使政府與公民在相互信賴的 基礎上真正做到了科學防禦，有效地控制了疫情。而我們以堵的方 式，先是屏蔽信息，打壓輿情，然後在疫情失控的情況下又不得不采

三 月

165

取了封閉隔離的措施，最終發生了類似於擠兌和踩踏的效應。政府失 信於民，民眾在日趨嚴重的恐慌中，無論是否真正患有新冠肺炎都一 起湧向醫院爭奪床位，致使大量真正新冠肺炎患者得不到醫治並在 家庭及社會上感染他人，最終陷於惡性循環的狀態之中。 當然更值得我們思索的是，為什麼同為華人，卻會選擇兩種截然 不同的應對疫情的策略和方式。這更為重要，也頗為敏感。唯有正視 才能避免重蹈覆轍，我覺得這是我們的責任。

166

武漢封城日記

2020 年 3 月 12 日 星期四

今天依然是晴天，原本是迎接姹紫嫣紅的日子卻少了往年應有的 熱烈喧鬧的氣氛。 社區除了填報各類報表、回複各種投訴以及搬運物資之外，又增 加了陪送病人看病的任務。冬春交替的時節正是各種疾病多發時期。 果然，上午開始就有很多居民要求社區派車前往醫院看病，各種病都 有，尤以重症慢性病居多。在這樣完全封閉隔離的時候，處理這類問 題非常棘手，而這棘手的問題自然也交給了社區。 向居民賠禮道歉本是社區的家常便飯。但現在也常常看到這樣的 情景，社區幹部一本正經地對居民說，不行的話你就去投訴吧，打市 長熱線……，而居民也回懟說，你以為老子不敢？老子現在就投 訴……。關系很緊張，卻又讓人覺得有點兒戲。 就像一家餐館，老板硬逼著一個普通廚師做滿漢全席，結果掏錢 買單的顧客蒙受損失，冒牌的餐館也名聲掃地，而一些人的反應卻總 是大罵廚師無能。 沒想到用垃圾車運送愛心肉的事鬧得很大。一名副區長因此丟了 烏紗還被立案偵查。其實大家還真不覺得這是一件多麼嚴重的事情， 我們一直認為現在只要能生活下去就很好了，除此以外的任何要求 都是窮講究和刁難。一些人以為現在除了疫情防控其他的都不重要， 但實際上除了防控我們還有更多更重要的是要做。但社區作為一個 組織只可能跟著政府的步調行走，踏錯節奏才是最大的錯。 我總在想，一個政府之所以存在就必定有它的功能，例如目前的 防疫以及公共衛生教育等等，那麼除此之外它是不是還具有其他更 加崇高偉大的使命呢？在古代，各王朝的使命就是實現江山一統，八 方來賀，而老百姓其實只是想過好日子，當然也想要掙錢，積累財富。 從某個方面來說，一部人類史其實也可以說是一部烏托邦的幻滅史 和敗壞史。人類進化到現在，我們理應拋棄這些幻覺。如果說世界上 有使命存在那也只應該屬於個人，包括信仰也只能是個人的，而不是 啟蒙運動之前那樣屬於教皇及其組織。目前我們的防疫行動也是如 此，它是也只能是政府公共衛生職能的體現，目的就是維護市民的健

三 月

167

康和安全，而不應該是政府某種政治使命的一個部分。否則，為了保 證某種最高使命的實現而犧牲民眾利益乃至生命就在所難免。如果 不能樹立起個人就是目的的理念，個人就只能是一部機器中的零件， 民眾就成為了蟻群蜂群。蟻群中不存在個體的價值，所有的個體都為 維護蟻族的存在和發展為目的，為了蟻族的整體利益，任何個體都會 隨時被犧牲。所以充分尊重並維護每一個人每一個患者的健康是現 代文明的必然結果。一個國家的強大富庶是這個國家每個公民富裕 幸福的體現和必然結果，而不是相反。 母親在電話裏說，上午有線電視來小區收費。我覺得很荒唐，也 許你說現在是市場經濟收費很合理，我覺得這種想法也荒唐。所謂有 線電視單位原本就是政府事業單位，它與市場經濟沒有半分錢的關 系，如果非要給它安個公司或集團的頭銜那它也是個十足的壟斷組 織，是市場的破壞者。另外，那個收費員的嘴巴特別臭，他竟然說封 閉要維持到五月，然後才能將大家放出來。

168

武漢封城日記

2020 年 3 月 13 日 星期五

天晴，有些燥熱。 新增確診新冠肺炎的人數已經下降到個位數，好消息。我相信這 個統計數字是真實的。而讓我疑惑的是，為什麼我們依然覺得解除封 閉的日子遙遙無期。當確診人數從千位數下降到個位數，就應該表 明，我們已經具備了完全掌控疫情的能力。在這樣的情況下，依然不 能提出解除封閉的正式的時間表，是不是說明，我們其實對這種病毒 的性質、傳播特點以及控制疫情擴散的方法仍然缺乏了解，一路走來 其實還是摸石頭過河。如果真是這樣，那就太令人沮喪了。 據傳，新加坡、韓國、日本等國在防疫上也已經取得成功。網上 的一段話說的特別好：新加坡是用管理，韓國就純粹是用科學硬懟。 一天檢測數量達到 8 萬人。這背後是驚人的生物衛生科學能力，直 接用車道檢測，人不下車，快速檢測出結果。這個消息如果是真實的， 或許就能從反面印證為什麼我們會而且也只能被封閉隔離的原因。 也證明了，一些人抱怨這些國家不抄我們的作業的想法是多麼的傻 逼，不可理喻。 顯然衛生防疫這類社會行為，最關鍵的是科學，而一個地方和社 會能否獲得科學的能力，首先取決於人們對科學的態度。是尊重科學 弘揚科學精神並在廣大民眾中取得共識，還是將科學當做當做標簽 或抹布，將科學當做獲取利益的敲門磚，這兩種截然不同的態度決定 了一個地方乃至國家的文明程度。我們隨地吐痰，我們圍著一張餐桌 七八雙筷子湯勺在同一碗羹湯中攪來攪去，我們匍匐於權力之下，將 科學當做膝下的墊子……，我們離科學，離科學的管理相距甚遠而不 自知。這當然是引發悲劇的主要原因。 我們坐在被封閉的房間，貪婪地眺望窗外日漸盎然的春景，卻並 不知道我們所遭遇的一切都是拜我們自己的愚昧所致，我們未來的 希望又在哪裏。我們沉溺於睡夢之中而不得覺醒，而覺醒必須擺脫夢 靨，這好像又是一個死循環啊。 誰來打開窗子，讓寒冷的風吹醒我們。

三 月

169

整整一天，我們都在搬運食品，將肉，蔬菜，糧食從很遠的地方 搬過來又搬出去。而孝感市又傳來小區物業乃至當地政府阻止其他 即所謂非正規渠道的廉價蔬菜進入小區而抓走牽頭業主最終引發居 民激憤的可悲事件。 我們希望明天會有好的消息。

170

武漢封城日記

2020 年 3 月 14 日 星期六

天氣晴朗。溫度達到攝氏十八度。一些年輕人已經脫掉了棉衣。 往年的這個時候人們已經開始計劃出去旅遊或到郊外踏青。 看上去管控有所松動，但多數人還是認為三月份不可能解除封閉。 而有些人好像已經習慣了這種被封禁的生活，他們覺得五月份前解 除封閉的可能性不大。小區依然空寂，雖然行人比以往增多，但還是 顯得身孤影只，如零星的草芥。 返漢複工人員不斷增加，他們通過手機向所在社區申請，索要電 子版的許可證明。 一些醫院開始恢複專科門診，但程序頗為複雜，需要各種非發熱、 未被感染等健康證明。同樣，就診病人還是要經社區許可，還須有社 區人員陪同。 這些都向人們顯示，風險依然存在，雖然風險從來都存在，自從 有人類以來就存在。其實很多人都明白，控制疫情仍然是目前的頭等 大事，沒有哪一個官員會冒著被追責的危險去過多地考慮其他的事 情。我們常常說，觀念很重要，但對多數人來說維護眼前的利益才是 最重要的，這就是人性。當然為了眼前而犧牲未來，為了自己的利益 犧牲他人的利益，這同樣也是一種觀念。人的行動從來都不可能超越 觀念。 如此說來，秉持什麼樣的觀念才是最大風險。生活中我們經常看 見有些人不習慣講道理，那是因為他們心中有一個不講道理的觀念 在作祟。 我們向來輕視邏輯，因為我們更加注重現實，注重當下的利益。 這也給我們帶來一個好處，就是特別有人情味，只是這人情向來不會 與外人更不會與不能給自己帶來好處的人同享。這種人情味道太濃 的社會，於科學，於規則，於律法往往不太講究，缺乏尊重。這幾年 有句話特別流行，即所謂，存在就是合理的。我們為什麼老是對這種 半吊子話感興趣並將其奉為經典呢。思考，尤其獨立的思考是個好東 西，可惜我們沒有。孔子說，形而上學謂之道，同時又說，未知生焉 知死，於六合之外存而不論，這實在是拒絕思考的典範。我們向來缺

三 月

171

乏思辨的能力，於哲學於宗教於信仰無不顢頇糊塗。科學於我們這裏 永遠都是小道只是個器，我們向往崇尚的是逐鹿中原，江山永固，所 有一切包括科學都要為這一主題服務。 有一則消息很有意思，標題是《美國的病死率為啥高?鐘南山說 出真相》，一看正文才知道，原來鐘先生只是猜測。猜測出來的真相， 這是啥邏輯。 最近與武漢臨近的孝感市也不知怎麼了，又被披露某小區小孩子 被餓死家中的悲慘事件，但願這不是真的只是謠傳。 社區的人還是在搬運蔬菜、糧食等等，這當然是無窮無盡的。現 在的社區還真有點人民公社的味道，只是這公社只管消費不管生產。

172

武漢封城日記

2020 年 3 月 15 日 星期日

晴天，溫度達到攝氏二十多度。往年，這樣的天氣正是年輕女子 炫耀身材的大好時機，看櫻花也自然是年輕人的熱門話題。 今天的新增確診人數仍在個位數，但解除封閉的跡象並不明顯。 有人說希望就在眼前了，三月底就可以解禁了，有人卻說確診病人的 總數非常大，疑似患者的數目也很大。傍晚時一個歪歪倒倒的老太婆 問我，什麼時候可以出去，為什麼還不能出去。是啊，這也是我想問 的。 今天一如既往地搬卸米面肉蔬菜等等，無窮無盡，一直忙到晚上 9 點。累一點沒什麼，只是覺得這種忙碌非常愚蠢。但仔細想一想， 又覺得如果不這樣可能還真是不行。就如同封閉城市和小區，假設不 采取封閉的措施而像美日等其他國家那樣，那會是什麼結果。但是那 些國家又是怎麼回事呢。 我覺得自己穿越到了近代，盤著大辮子，站在河岸看那冒著黑煙 的火輪船，一陣眩暈。周期性的循環往複，是中國歷史的顯著特征。 那些洋人們到底在搞什麼，好像啥都不做，又好像什麼都做了，而我 們只能老老實實呆在家裏，趴在窗前漫無邊際地胡亂思索。差距在哪 裏，為什麼不抄我們的作業。茫然得很。 網上一封《劉醫生的求助信》引來網友們的圍觀，對醫院行政幹 部霸淩醫務人員的行徑憤憤不平。其實我們這裏一直都是這個樣子。 學術權威是教育系統的領袖，手術臺上的一把刀、二把刀是一家醫院 的真正實力和本錢，大法官是真正掌握法律的人，很多外國人都是這 樣認為的，但我們這裏不是如此。我們看不懂外國人，外國人好像也 看不懂我們。 權力是我們的核心，我們都是在權力這座金字塔下生活的人。很 多網友不喜歡歐美國家，其實從近代以後，自古傳承的權力確實被染 上西方世界的顏色。我們真心地學習西方的一切，而最後得到的卻是 可謂中西合璧的權力特色。我覺得世上沒有比這更令人沮喪的事了。 還是要說到封閉，現在我們仍在封閉之中。封閉的目的當然是為 了控制疫情，而我們除了封閉城市封閉居民小區，其實並沒有更好的

三 月

173

辦法。我們不屑於美英的那一套，其實我們也根本學不了。試想，一 個連醫生們的口罩都難以保證的地方，怎麼可能用病毒測量設備在 商場甚至大街上鑒定測量病毒感染人員，檢測人數一天以萬數萬計 算。我們在小區商場測個體溫就已經覺得非常非常現代化了。這怎麼 比。這很可悲，而且無解。就如同我們說，肆虐的權力是阻礙我們奔 向文明的罪魁，那我們能不能驅除權力這個東西呢，回答是，不能。 因為我們幾乎人人熱愛權力，追逐權力。一個人哪怕擁有了芝麻綠豆 大的權力，他就可以俯視他人，可以侮辱蹂躪他人。我們哪怕只是擁 有一個看守出入口的權力，就可以呵斥侮辱那些必須從這裏出入的 人們。我們就喜歡這種感覺。咋整。

174

武漢封城日記

2020 年 3 月 16 日 星期一

今天天空晴朗，春天的氣息已經滲透到每個角落。這時候公園裏 的櫻花想必已經繽紛披離。武大的櫻花最有名氣，好像是去年這個時 候該校發生了門衛阻攔並毆打穿和服的遊客的事件，著實玷汙了櫻 花這美麗的花卉。 小區的桃花開了一樹。我覺得桃花比櫻花更美。桃樹下永遠有最 年輕的身影幻生幻滅，淒惻迷離。 新增的確診人數依然為 4 人。社區的人依然在搬卸運送物資，已 經不限於米面、蔬菜等物品，牙膏、牙刷、洗滌劑什麼的應有盡有。 有人說社區應該成立供銷社，級別可以定為副處級。 閑暇之餘，人們最熱心的話題自然是什麼時候解除封閉，大家的 臉上都寫滿了焦慮。心理承受極限的時間窗口正悄然靠近。張宏文醫 生說由於歐洲疫情爆發，在六月夏季結束疫情已經沒有可能。好在我 們已經度過了爆發期，否則我們還不知道要被封閉到什麼時候，畢竟 除了封閉我們並沒有其他更好的選擇。這次疫情是對我們的醫療科 學水平和防控能力最真實的檢驗，原始簡單的封閉措施對我們來說 仍然是最主要的選擇。 網上，追責的呼聲依然強烈。在古代，發生這麼大的災難，無論 是天災還是人禍，皇帝都會發個罪己詔，內容大多是說，一切都是皇 帝自己的罪過，願上天將所有的懲罰加在皇帝的身上，願上天保佑萬 民平安逃離災禍，也就是給百姓一條生路等等。雖然大多只是做做樣 子但應該也沒有惡意，至少是一種良好願望的表達。當然那已經是非 常非常遙遠的事情。 網上又傳出黃陂區某鄉鎮用殯儀館的車輛運送團購物資的新聞。 用殯儀館的車給人送東西這種事，對中國人來說真的是很恐怖很詭 異，有很強烈的詛咒的意思。這種事要在從前，那真不是撤個職就可 以了結的。古時候這叫違逆人倫，用現在的話說就是反人道。 歷史學家如郭沫若、翦伯贊、範文瀾等將中國傳統文化定義為封 建文化，其實並不符合事實。不論政治制度，單從文化上說，中國文 化的核心是家，整個社會秩序就是家的結構的擴大。提倡的是尊尊親

三 月

175

親，父父子子，敬老愛幼。一般百姓如此，皇宮大內也不例外。所以 中國人講究倫理綱常講究人情世故，像黃陂區做的那種事任何一個 時代的中國人都無法接受。 一場疫情，讓我們看到了種種乖張暴戾違背人倫常理的事情和言 論，這是對人性的一次最全面深刻的檢驗，我們每個人理應由此看清 我們自己並由此看清我們身處的社會。社會由我們每一個人共同組 成，我們每一個人都不可能獨善其身，我們不可能永遠靠僥幸生存。 我們要追究責任，更要追究造成災難的社會、文化和制度等更加深刻 的原因。

176

武漢封城日記

2020 年 3 月 17 日 星期二

氣溫在攝氏二十度以上。望著滿眼春色，心緒就沒有了節制…… 社區開始裝卸分送大米，搬運了一千多斤。估計還會不斷地增加， 想想都令人畏懼。在小區門口看見有人義務給居民剃頭，但來的居民 並不多，或許大家都想著要留髮明志吧。有人反映一位獨居老人一個 多星期沒有吃到蔬菜，社區得知後給老人送了一些蘿蔔、包菜還有一 把尖辣椒。 銀行終於想起來要開門營業啦，一大早看見很多人在銀行門口排 起長隊。也許是考慮到前來取錢的多為老人，銀行在門口放了一長溜 塑料凳子，取錢的人捏著存折，安靜地坐在凳子上排隊等候。工作人 員都穿著雪白的隔離服把著大門，不知情的還以為這是一家醫院或 診所。 今天報道中的新增確診病例為 1 例。歸零在即。社區幹部在微信 群裏組織居民網上申辦健康卡，說是以後出入小區都要以健康卡為 憑據。看來政府正在著手開放居民小區，應該會有條件地逐步開放。 很多人都覺得有了希望，大家對疫情的關注點也擴大到了整個世 界，尤其是歐美。大家對這些國家政府不作為，草菅人命的事情知道 得不少，比如英國。他們說英國現在到處都是死掉的人，政府正在廣 場上建太平間，這與我們建方艙醫院形成鮮明的對照。說，外國不像 中國為人民著想，所以我們建方艙，他們建太平間。大家都很認真， 其他人很難插上嘴，更不要說提出質疑。其實網上也有很多這樣的消 息，比如新浪網上的一則新聞，標題是：中國的新冠狀病毒，一個新 發現令人震驚，該病毒起源於美國嗎？還有消息說，在美國想要申請 一次核酸檢測都是難上加難，一個試劑盒的檢測費用就高度達 2.5 萬 元，但在中國公立醫院僅僅只需要 40 元！一直有人向往美國、歐洲 這樣的發達國家，很多人在知道此時此刻才發現，原來中國才是最好 的。等等，等等…… 經過兩個多月來的觀察和思考，我個人認為，疫情防控最重要的 應該有三個方面，一是具備快速甄別一般發熱病人和被感染的病人 的手段和設備；二是，醫療單位在及時甄別的基礎上對感染病人做到

三 月

177

應收盡收，及時治療，對密切接觸人員進行密切監護觀察，隨時處置； 三是，普及宣傳預防傳染的科學知識，包括宣傳勤洗手，戴口罩，避 免人群聚集。政府在提供充分的開展醫療、預防方面的物資和技術科 研上的支持的同時，應努力確保市政部門和經濟的正常且高效率運 轉。當然如果做不到或者沒有能力做到這些，恐怕就只有封閉了。從 治療的方面來看，我覺得最危險的是所謂的疑似病人，大量的疑似病 人存在就可能表明疫情已經失去控制。 總的來看，目前應該存在兩條防控疫情的路徑，一種是以科學技 術為基礎的積極的醫學防控，一種是在無力控制疫情的情況下實行 強制性的封閉隔離。應該說這兩種辦法都可以達到防控的目的，只是 後者所要付出的代價和損失更大甚至難以計算，引發次生災難和人 道主義災禍的幾率非常高，有的甚至是百分之百，是相對原始簡單的 迫不得已而為之的手段和措施。 有一則 3 月 16 日的新聞：成都保和街道辦城管隊員告訴一小區 門外的攤販，疫情防控期間允許擺地攤，臨街餐飲店也被允許在店外 人行道擺放桌椅招待顧客。日前成都市城管委制定多條措施，允許在 居民居住集中區開辟臨時占道攤點攤區，允許臨街店鋪臨時……。我 很贊同這個做法，非常好！人們說科學是第一生產力，我認為市場才 是第一生產力，而且是科學技術得以發展的基礎和動力。

178

武漢封城日記

2020 年 3 月 18 日 星期三

天空晴朗，溫度穩定在攝氏二十度以上。人們都卸去了冬裝。小 區一家業主在門前種的一樹桃花開得令人心醉，大疫之後主人是否 安好？ 今天通報新增確診患者為 1 人，疑似病例數為 0。幾乎所有的一 切都在向好，逐步開啟封閉的跡象日益明顯。據說從明天開始各類企 業可按照防疫指揮部通知的要求申請複工。還有消息說，市民近期可 持電子健康碼以及一卡通實名出行並搭乘市內公交車輛。也就是說， 疫情真正進入尾聲，緊急狀態即將解除。雖說這是必然的，卻也是人 們盼望已久的。 小區內可以看見有人在花壇散步，幾個年輕人帶著口罩打羽毛球， 老遠聽見一個男孩叫喊，我快憋死了。武漢既已如此，其他省份和城 市的情況理應更加樂觀，但據說外來入境人員也給那些地區帶來一 定的麻煩，但這些入境人員活動軌跡相對清晰，容易掌控，應不會造 成太大的威脅。一些人擔心的二次疫情來襲的概率應該不大，否則那 將暴露的就不僅僅是疫情防控能力的問題了。或許這才是一些在外 人員選擇回國的主要原因，畢竟歐美各國疫情正處於爆發期，逃避危 險是人的本能，他們認為回國更安全，完全是個人的選擇。反過來說， 他們的選擇也給所在國家減輕了一些負擔，也算是一點點回報了。至 於國內網絡和媒體的一些另類的解讀和渲染，只能說是一種宣泄和 精神扭曲的表現。意淫者隨時都在尋找發泄的通道和出口，這世上並 沒有絕對悶騷的人。真正的傻逼總認為自己最聰明。這也並非壞事 兒，不正常的人有所失，正常人才能更好地有所得。 社區又搬卸分送了一千多斤大米，但願這種情況不會持續太久。 街道衛生服務中心的醫護人員上門給一些確診和疑似病人的家中消 毒，都是一些女孩子，穿著好幾層隔離服像個洋娃娃似的。據說早期 疫情爆發最嚴重的那段時期，一些死在家中的人都是由她們上門裝 殮後運送到殯儀館火化。很多女孩子都被嚇得魂飛魄散，堅持下來的 都不簡單。但願她們最後都能獲得正式編制，不再是編外人員和臨時 工，她們理應得到尊重及合理的待遇，雖說這很難。

三 月

179

聽說陸續有很多社區的負責人被紀檢部門約談，這也是一大特色 了，外人很難理解。 中國人常說人心都是肉長的，其實人心哪裏是血肉能夠解釋的。 對人心的理解並由此形成的對人性的觀念決定了一個人乃至一個社 會一個民族的發展方向。多少年來我都希望通過反省認識看清自己， 基督教關於原罪的觀念讓我獲得啟示，並由此對國人的文化路徑有 了一些認識。簡單並略形象地說，你若詢問任何一個身邊的人，人性 到底是善還是惡，回答總是五花八門，但如果你說每個人的內心都有 邪惡的一面，每一個人本質上都是罪人，那一定會遭到一致的反對。 為什麼會是這樣呢，思索觀察了很久，才弄明白，原來大家雖然對人 性的看法各有不同，但都絕對地相信自己一定是善的。自己是一個好 人，雖然也會犯錯，但也只是一時的失誤更多的是被蒙蔽，本意絕對 還是好的。這種極度分裂的精神狀態正是我們的寫照，以前我自己也 是如此。 網絡上有關歐美他國疫情方面的謠言比比皆是，造謠者橫沖直撞 毫無顧忌，而一些理性的辯護和言論屢屢被刪或被直接封殺，這也是 一大特色。

180

武漢封城日記

2020 年 3 月 19 日 星期四

站在明朗的陽光下，感覺正在走向夏季。武漢就是這個樣子，春 秋兩季非常短暫，不像其他地方四季均衡。五一勞動節剛過就熱得要 開空調的年份也不少見。 新增確診病人及疑似病人全部歸零。 外地返漢複工人員越來越多。據說有新的通知，只要不超出省境， 持健康卡並有車輛的人員被允許出城返鄉。松動的跡象日漸明顯，但 解除封閉的時間表並沒有出現。顯然這個時候提出解禁時間表會冒 有很大的政治風險，雖然這對恢複市民信心，為市民安排今後的生活 提供依據，使許許多多生活拮據儲蓄枯竭的市民節省許多不必要的 開支，以及對企業確定生產和經營計劃都至關重要。 與開展防控疫情一樣，如何何時解除封閉隔離恢複城市正常秩序 同樣是對政府管控能力的嚴峻考驗。如果像終南山先生說的那樣維 持封閉到五月甚至更長時間，看起來似乎是很穩當不會犯錯誤，其實 風險可能更大，說嚴重點是枉顧民生疾苦。當然我只是個人隨便瞎 想，瞎著急。大量市民亟待工作養家糊口，大量重症慢性病人等待救 治，深受巨創的人們需要在正常的生活中彌合傷口，老弱病殘者更需 要在正常的生活中恢複調適急劇下降的健康狀況等等……。切莫以 為控制了疫情就是萬事大吉，只要一天不恢複正常的社會秩序民眾 就仍在煎熬之中。現在就開始准備慶功宴，不是缺心眼就是缺乏良 知。 有朋友從漢南那邊的老家回漢，據他說，鄉鎮的管控更加嚴厲， 手段也更加粗獷直截。近兩個月裏，警車每天在鄉鎮裏轉，大喇叭不 間斷地廣播禁令，發現有人在街上閑逛，立刻抓起來拘留四天。一些 管不住自己腿腳的老頭老太太是被關照的重點。 需要出小區看病的居民不斷增多，社區需要搬運的物品也越來越 多，米、面粉、青菜特別是土豆以及雞蛋等等每次都已經是一噸以上 的規模，但對居民的需求來說只是杯水車薪。二百多條草魚搬起來把 人累死，但如何分配給全社區 2000 多戶居民？給誰不給誰？

三 月

181

一個同事給我看手機上的新聞：英國感染冠狀病毒患者 500 萬 人，死亡 50 萬人。我說這怎麼可能。他說，這絕對是真的。 網上視頻：3 月 18 日，日本北海道知事鈴木直道在記者會上宣 布北海道緊急狀態正式結束。知事還表示，今後將致力於減少感染風 險同時恢複全北海道的社會經濟活動。這日本好像沒做什麼事兒，卻 把疫情解決了，真是令人難以置信。 有報道：100 多位老幹部及子女陸續回國，幹休所召開緊急會議 嚴防嚴控。原來這些老幹部及其子女都在外國啊。網上常說，住國外 是生活，罵外國是工作。現在他們連生活也不要了，全嚇回來啦。重 新投入到祖國的懷抱，是倍覺溫暖還驚魂未定？

182

武漢封城日記

2020 年 3 月 20 日 星期五

天氣晴朗，最高溫度達到 27 攝氏度。我看見有人竟然穿起短袖 T 恤。今年冬季也屬於暖冬，幾乎沒怎麼下雪。老輩人常說，冬天不 好好地下一場雪，年景就好不起來，就會有很多人生病，地裏的莊稼 也長不好。的確如此。在我小時候每年冬天都會有的雪花漫天飛舞的 景致這麼多年都很少見到，還真是很懷念那時候一大群孩子在大街 上滑冰打雪仗的時光。 回漢複工的人員越來越多，社區還專門安排兩個人負責這項工作， 政府也發布了好多個相關文件和通知。在我看來盡快複工當然是好 事但也並不容易，並不是取消封閉禁令企業就能恢複正常經營。經過 兩個多月來的停產停業，各企業尤其私營單位面臨的各種困難在短 時間內恐也難以化解。政府理應在稅收、借貸等方面給予實質性的扶 持，各項鼓勵性政策也應及時到位，這是政府的責任之所在。一個具 有無限權力的政府自然也有無限的責任。那種行使權力時就強調特 色，該擔負責任時就以國際慣例、市場經濟來推諉的做法只能失信於 民。多年來，一些自詡為奧派經濟學家的教授學者們，在政府部門及 大型國企為尋求自身利益強力幹預市場和企業經營時默不作聲，而 一旦民眾要求政府擔負責任時卻拿出一套套諸如自由經濟、市場規 律的奧派理論來為政府和國企辯護，順利地完成了由經濟學家向政 府管家角色的轉變，令人哭笑不得，他們把經濟學的名聲敗壞得一塌 糊塗。 確診人數等各項重要指標再次歸零，使人們對解除封閉的願望愈 加強烈。實在是人們在心理上、生理上以及經濟上的承受力都已經達 到極限。相比網絡上依然強烈的對責任人進行追責的關注，一般市民 更加關心的是什麼時候能盡快恢複正常的生活。要工作、要就醫、要 上學是民眾最現實也是刻不容緩的訴求。 應該說，國內包括武漢的疫情已經得到有效控制，恐慌情緒逐漸 平複，而人們對國際尤其歐美正處於爆發期的國家的疫情也投以了 較多的目光。網上有消息說，美國仇華情緒正在上升，紐約華人開始 組織展開自我防禦。實際情況我們不得而知，倒是中美間的互懟顯得 特別醒目。新浪網有則消息說：武漢人民憤怒了，並對美國打響了第

三 月

183

一槍。老實說，作為武漢人的一員，還真是不知道自己什麼時候為什 麼就憤怒了。美國離我們那麼遠，我們每天在封閉的環境中自顧不 暇，真沒什麼精力再去憤怒什麼。按照網上的說法，目前關於冠狀性 病毒的來源的說法好像有兩種，一個是鐘南山的觀點“病毒起源不 一定在武漢或中國”，還有就是張文宏醫生的觀點“不認為病毒會 起源於國外”。二者的著眼點不一樣，但我覺得後者更加客觀理智， 也是一種非常坦率負責任的說法，更容易得到國際社會的認同。 各社區開始給居民發放愛心魚，爭取每戶都能分到一條。成千上 萬條魚遊向社區，然後分流到千家萬戶。每天如此。

184

武漢封城日記

2020 年 3 月 21 日 星期六

陰天，預報說有中雨，但始終沒有下下來，悶熱。 武漢的天氣可以簡單地分為冷天和熱天，冷天陰冷熱天悶熱，冷 冷到骨子裏，熱熱到讓人喘不過來氣。冬季，北方人覺得這裏比北方 還冷，夏季不用說整個一個大火爐。今天有了些武漢特有的悶熱感 覺。 武漢人脾氣比較燥，愛吵架，喜歡抱團排斥欺負外地人，讓人感 覺很不講道理。武漢人在外地的名聲並不是很好。但這並不是說武漢 人沒有優點。辛亥革命武昌起義時，武漢工商各界、男女老幼不遺餘 力地支援新軍，鼓吹新政，全然不懼清廷秋後算賬，在中國近代史上 留下了絢麗的一筆，令世界側目。所以不能簡單地判定一個地方好或 不好，人和城市都是具體的，不能用好或壞來概括。 疫情通報各項重要指標繼續清零。雖然有些議論，但方方的日記 中予以了解釋，我相信其真實性。關於方方日記，正如一位非常好的 網友說的，一開始並不怎麼出彩，但後來作者較起真來，竟然寫出了 靈魂。凡是文字，有了靈魂，就有了生命。這生命就會與讀者共同呼 吸，共同承擔命運。所以現在的方方日記成為了武漢人的象征和標 志，而不是那個環球時報主編胡錫進說的那樣，是什麼邊緣的聲音。 環球胡編這人有時也會出來和稀泥，讓人覺得他也挺不容易好可憐 的樣子。當然還是那句話，中國的事情很複雜。但一位支持方方日記 的作家的文章我很同意，其中一段話說的特別好，也透露出某種信 息：學者們不能再退讓，不能把中國的前途交給那幫極左，由他們代 表民意來操控國家的某些部門。學者們不一定要支持我，但應把反對 極左的觀點表達出來，要告訴民眾一些常識。這段話不僅反映了我們 面臨的嚴峻現實，而且傳達出多數有識之士的急切呼聲。我覺得這比 當前的疫情更為重要，政治上的疫情會決定數代國人的命運。 凡是經曆文革過文革以及之前的歷史比較熟悉的人都一定了解 左與右這對標志中國政治生態的概念。如果用冬天與夏天做比，左就 是中國政治的冬季，每次左的思潮如同寒流席卷中國大地令經濟崩 潰文化凋敝後，右的的思想就會抬起頭來以救世主的姿態力挽大廈

三 月

185

之將傾。但老百姓的好日子沒過多少時間，左的一套又會沉渣泛起， 登堂入室。這一左一右如同魔咒，令我們陷入興與衰的循環之中，與 中國古代王朝的興亡周期遙相呼應。我想這正是中國命運總是驚心 動魄令人擔憂的原因。打破這個循環，解除這個魔咒，才是中華民族 真正複興的開始。在我看來，所謂的民族複興並不是要成為某些人所 鼓噪的強國，更不是要去決定世界的格局，當然也不是要完成什麼特 殊的使命，而是也僅僅是讓民族邁入文明的正常道路，讓民眾回歸常 識，讓每個中國人在法律的保護下有尊嚴地自由地為實現自己的個 人目標去努力，當然也可以不努力，僅此而已。一句話，就是讓我們 的國家和每一位國民都能過上正常的日子，讓每一個人都成為真正 意義上的獨立的、自主的、具體的人，而不是某架機器上的零件螺絲 釘。但怎麼樣才能做到呢，我也不知道。 回漢複工的人員越來越多，漢口火車站大消毒為恢複運營做准備， 據說很快部分市內公交也將開通。我想每一位武漢人都和我一樣急 切地期盼徹底回歸正常生活的那一天。

186

武漢封城日記

2020 年 3 月 22 日 星期日

陰天，悶熱。 疫情通報新增確診患者人數，疑似患者人數持續為零。 在小區出入口看見一些回漢複工的年輕人正在辦理進入小區的 手續。街道上車輛明顯增多。一些原先設立在交通要道上的路障陸續 拆除。銀行、商場以及一般的公司、商店依然大門緊閉。偶爾看見駛 過的公交車都貼著非營運的標志。 有消息說，政府將會陸續批准一些無疫情的小區和社區有條件地 解除封閉，居民可在一定的範圍內出門購買物品。同事間討論得最多 的是自然也是關於徹底解除封閉的時間。今天，政府出臺了在公交地 鐵出租車輪船等公共交通工具上實行實名登記的乘車的制度的規定， 今後市民要通過掃健康碼方能乘車出行。 顯然，政府在無法給市民提供更多的經濟補貼和福利的情況下， 將采取分期分批的方式逐步解除封禁。恢複城市的生產和經營將是 政府今後最主要工作。確實，即便大疫完全結束，自救依然是多數人 為之奮鬥的主題，與封閉期間的沉寂形成對照的是，我們將迎來一段 為期並不會短暫的激蕩的生活。 說到歐美國家的疫情，很多人都流露出隔岸觀火的神情。提到英 美等國政府疫情防控情況，一些人的口吻很是輕視。我驚訝地發現， 多數人對一月到二月中旬的慘痛經曆好像已經開始遺忘，偶爾有人 提及也顯得非常淡定，臉上全然沒有大難之餘痛定思痛或心有餘悸 的表情，好像在聽一段來自遙遠異域的軼事。悲傷已遠離我們和我們 所在的土地？是我們的神經已經變得異常堅強，還是我們所獨有的 遺忘機制已經開始啟動？ 不難觀察到，在我們周圍，有些人似乎已經完全適應了目前的生 活，他們穿梭於小區內外，來往於各個被特許經營的部門單位之間， 遊刃有餘，引人注目。不知道疫情完全結束之時，他們會不會感到一 些失落寂寞。

三 月

187

我想說的是，雖然我們依然在疫情和封閉之中，來自各方面的消 息依然在刺激著我們，但我還是看見遺忘的大幕正徐徐展開並試圖 遮蔽我們。回顧過往的歷史，遺忘之與我們並不是什麼新鮮事。那個 發生於上世紀中葉餓死幾千萬人的饑餓年月，還有多少人記得。那慘 絕人寰的文革，即便是那些依然健在的親曆者甚至被傷害者中也還 有人為之辯護。那荒廢一代人青春的知青歲月也成了某些人炫耀的 資本。對活著的人來說，痛苦也好，屈辱也罷，都是已然消逝的煙雲， 留在心中的永遠都是激情澎湃的幻覺。 但願是我判斷失誤，否則因之而帶給我們的悲傷更加巨大，傷害 和損失將更加慘痛持久。歷史是人類過往經曆的沉澱，有歡樂也有悲 痛。我們在歡樂中憧憬美好，在悲痛中懺悔沉思，並由此變得堅強睿 智，推動我們不斷地完善人所應有的品質。而當有人成功地抽取那段 最沉重如大廈基石的沉痛記憶時，我們的生命就失去重量，失去認識 自我的契機，並最終徹底喪失覺醒的能力。 一位關系很好的同事非常誠懇地問我，美國到底行不行，到底是 好還是壞。我真不知道該怎麼回答，畢竟我也沒去過那裏。只能建議， 有條件的話，可以讓小孩去那裏留學一段時間。她說，那太難了吧， 哪裏是我們一般人能夠辦到的。據我所知，移民到美國的人中有很多 都是貧民，甚至包括很多黑人，但在我們這裏對一般人來說還是一種 奢望。

188

武漢封城日記

2020 年 3 月 23 日 星期一

天氣溫暖，很多人脫去了線衣。根據經驗，在真正進入夏季之前 天氣還會有所反複。一陣春雨過後天氣就會轉涼，但氣溫很快又會升 起，直到人們真正穿上單衣，炎熱徹底占據這座城市。 伴隨著花瓣的紛然墜落，青翠的嫩芽布滿桃樹那妖嬈的枝頭。勃 勃生機鼓動著坐落於長江、漢水交匯之地的武漢三鎮。自武昌起義， 武漢名聲鵲起，依長江與盤踞於出海口的大上海同氣相求同聲相應， 同為近代中國最具有現代文明氣息的文化、經濟重鎮。 今天它在這場瘟疫中以極端高昂的代價艱難挺立，但災禍對於這 座城市並非第一次，也不會是最後一次。 我們理應建立一座巨大的紀念碑，鐫刻每一位逝者的姓名，記錄 下我們的哀泣和犯下的罪以及劫後餘生者的沉思、懺悔和期許。非如 此，我們無以安撫這座城市的靈魂，抹不去那充滿腥臭味的血淚…… 偉大，必以沉重為基。高尚，必在汙濁中砥礪前行…… 現代和文明，如同租界、摩登、探戈、肥皂、香水、股票、威士 忌、漢陽造、飛虎隊、水兵等等這些名詞，對於武漢這座以碼頭文化 為特征的城市和生活在這裏的人民並不陌生，而且非常熟悉。而所有 這一切直到某一天戛然而止，然後沉淪，直到重新浮出水面，喘息著， 述說著往昔，如墨綠間的嫣紅…… 我是一個懷舊的人，而在這段日子裏，我的目光只願截取那段充 滿灰色和光亮的時間，之前太模糊，之後太過熟悉。藉此我逃避眼淚， 逃避無情的喧囂、叫嚷聲…… 打開封閉已久的玻璃窗，江風迎面而至，熟悉的汽笛聲令人難以 自禁。 緊挨在國民政府大樓的民眾樂園，文書巷的曲折幽深，孫中山銅 人像後面的紙醉金迷，沿江碼頭的暗流湧動，曇華林的清淨，胭脂巷 這個我至今只知其名的神秘巷子，車站路煙熏火燎的氣味、人群，令 人怦然心動的火車鳴笛之聲，大舞臺、越劇院的絲竹鶯語，小偷，流

三 月

189

浪者，賣涼薯和瓜子兒的小孩，仿佛非常遙遠的湖濱，煙雲籠罩中的 義士墳塚，九女墩…… 我是個沒有理想的人，所有這些我覺得都可以有，無論你叫他自 然秩序甚至市場經濟什麼的都無所謂。在我的世界裏，只要有常識就 可以生存，城市就足以延續，其他的都應該關進盒子裏，之所以要關 進盒子，是因為我們沒法將之抹去，就好像我們的心中的惡與罪。 我看見很多人正湧上大街，男的穿著嚴整，女的花花綠綠。他們 沒有重量，仿佛隨風而至。他們在等待，在傾聽，而聲音好像過於遙 遠，於是他們聽的更加認真……，他們是未來者還是早已逝去的魂 靈？我在高樓的一端，緊挨著臺…… 我曾經寫過一些關於這座城市的詩句，我覺的可以當做這部日記 的結尾和告別。那其實是一首挽歌。 真遺憾，那首詩已經找不到了。

190

武漢封城日記

後 記

疫情中的武漢得到了世界各國尤其旅居華人华侨的高度關注和 慷慨援助。手足之情，武漢人永遠都不能忘記，也不會忘記。 目前新型冠狀病毒仍在世界各國肆虐，一些國家的人民仍在遭受 病痛的折磨。 我們衷心祈願各國人民早日擺脫苦難，回歸平靜安寧的生活！ 感謝張傑先生作序並一力促成這部日記的出版! 感謝一直以來支持我的家人、網友；也感謝紐約博登書屋同仁！

風中葫蘆 2021 年 7 月 12 日

191

作者簡介

風中葫蘆，中國湖北省武漢市人。 詩人、作家和書法家。淡泊名利，為讀 書而讀書，為寫作而寫作，為書法而書 法。2019 年，武漢爆發新冠疫情時，作 者正在某社區工作。社區是中國最基層 的社會組織，但這個無錢無權無地位的 工作卻給了他穿梭於大街小巷的方便， 也給了他觀察疫情的絕佳機會。與方方 日記的不同，風中葫蘆的日記更具有現 場感。風中葫蘆親身參與武漢封城期間 的抗疫活動，使這本日記有珍貴的第一 手的史料價值。