What is your message 9780985013660

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What Is Your Message?

 

Published by Motivation Coaching Services, LP Publishing Company, Chiang Mai, TH

 

 

Motivation Coaching Service, LP Chiang Mai, Thailand ©2015 by Chérie Carter-Scott, Ph.D., MCC All rights reserved. Published 2015. Printed in Chiang Mai, Thailand ISBN: 978-0-9850136-6-0

 

To Michael Pomije, Lynn Stewart, Jennifer Carter-Scott, and Michael Lythcott, my family, who have supported my messages throughout my life and believed in me regardless of how inconvenient the messages have been. To Wendy van Leusen, Caroline Wamsteker, Manon Swaving-Schraa, Tania Moor, and all the graduates of MMS Inner Negotiation Workshop and MMS Coach Training worldwide who have listened to their messages, trusted them, and honored the work we have been doing globally since 1974.

 

 

  Acknowledgments I want to thank Michelle Christensen for all of her dedication and hard work designing the cover and the fantastic editing of this book.

With great appreciation to our Thai friends and colleagues especially Somsunee Vidhyameth, ACC, Vitawat Kasemvudhi, ACC, Nat Permsup, ACC, and Jean-Francois Cousin, MCC who have trusted their messages, believed in us, supported the work, and our message to move to Thailand.

Judit Abri who trusted her message to partner with us in teaching coaches and Katrina Burris, Ph.D. MCC who supported me in becoming ICF certified and MMS accredited. To Barbara Adamich, Britt Andreatta, and all those who believe in the MMS work and live the process.

 

 

  Table of Contents 1

“Messages: Spiritual DNA

1

2

Messages in Daily Life

25

3

Inner Negotiation Workshop

35

4

Messages in Coaching

75

5

Messages are the GPS on Your

87

Journey 6

When You Ignore the Message

7

Messages Ask the Seemingly

99 105

Impossible 8

You Are a Perfect Spirit

123

9

Game Changing Messages

139

10 Living Your Messages

165

Glossary of Terms

180

 

 

 

Chapter 1 “Messages” Spiritual DNA “There is a universal, intelligent, life force that exists within everyone and everything. It resides within each one of us as a deep wisdom, an inner knowing. We can access this wonderful source of knowledge and wisdom through our intuition, an inner sense that tells us what feels right and true for us at any given moment.” —Shakti Gawain

Her trouble went deeper than doctors diagnosed Her doctor assured her she was in good health, but eerie dreams left Trisha Coburn with a sense of foreboding she couldn't shake. As told to Lisa Kogan, excerpted from O Magazine.

I was 46 years old, I had three terrific kids, a What Is Your Message?

1

  happy marriage, and a painting studio where I spent hours every day. Not only was nothing wrong in my life, plenty was incredibly right. But then I had the dream.

I was standing at a barbed-wire fence across from five or six terribly frail people with huge dark eyes and ghostly pale skin. They were trying to tell me something in a language I didn't understand. It was intense and disturbing, and it left me rattled.

A week later I had the dream again, only this time there were a dozen people trying to get me to grasp what they were saying.

The following week the dream returned, but now there were 20 people, and they looked desperate. I woke up crying. I started feeling afraid to go to sleep.

Even though my husband thought I was overreacting, I called my doctor to schedule a physical. I didn't know what else to do. The

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Chérie Carter-Scott, Ph.D., MCC

  receptionist pointed out that I'd just had a physical six months earlier; the most I could talk her into was some new blood work.

At the appointment, I told the doctor I felt that something wasn't right. He smiled. "You eat well, you exercise, you're healthy. Quit worrying."

Two days later, his nurse called to say my blood work was fine. I relaxed and figured I could put my fears behind me.

A week later, the dream was back. There must have been 100 people—wailing, screaming, pleading with me. I kept saying, "I don't know what you want from me! Please, please tell me what I'm supposed to do."

A few days later, the fifth and final dream: Back at the fence, only this time, nobody is there. I fall to my knees, sobbing, "Come back. I need you to help me." And suddenly I hear one voice. And that voice says two words—in perfect English: "Look

What Is Your Message?

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  deeper."

I called my doctor the minute his office opened. "What's the deepest place in the human body?" He said, "I suppose it's the colon." And I said, "Then I want a colonoscopy." He explained that I had no family history of colon cancer, no symptoms, that insurance would never cover it. I persisted.

I told the gastroenterologist I wanted to be awake for the procedure. I watched the camera twisting and turning and following the curves through my colon, and then I heard the doctor draw a breath and say, "Oh my." There, on the screen, was a black mass. And the doctor promptly put me to sleep.

It was cancer—aggressive and fast moving. She later told me, “if I'd waited even two months, my prognosis would have been...grim.” This is beyond intuition… this is what we call “A message!”

You may or may not be aware or connected

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Chérie Carter-Scott, Ph.D., MCC

  to your “Messages,” but regardless you still have them. There’s no doubt you’ve had moments when you have thought to yourself, “I knew I should have done that!” That was a message moment. You didn’t listen or trust it at the time because it seemed absurd or inconvenient. You have had messages throughout your life, but you never labeled them as such. You may have relegated them to a category called luck, a hunch, coincidence, or intuition. Everyone receives messages, but few people actually trust them and act on them. People may doubt that they have messages, since the rational voices of the mind are much louder and bolder than the inner whispers of the subtle messages.

There have been many movies about people who have received messages. Some of them are: Born on the 4th of July, Breaking Away, Bridge Over the River Kwai, Dead Poets’ Society, Erin Brockovitch, Field of Dreams, Gandhi, Gifted Hands, Lawrence of Arabia, Norma Rae, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, On the Waterfront, Saving Private Ryan, Shine, Spellbound, Strictly Ballroom, and The Bucket List. In

What Is Your Message?

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  every film there is a moment when you can clearly see the message happen to the key person and then see what happened when s/he listened, trusted, and acted on their message. In Hollywood, it isn’t exactly presented as supernatural or spiritual, but rather like the moment of choice.

Your connection to universal wisdom is ever present. You may not be aware of it, but you have unlimited possibilities that are within your reach. In fact, you were born with an inner wisdom that resides deep within and transmits messages about the choices that are right for you. If you listen carefully, you can tune into this frequency, which transmits information all the time. It never stops. You, however, have the choice to tune in and listen or tune out entirely. Your internal radio is always transmitting, but you may not always choose to listen to it. You may turn the volume down so low that you can barely hear it, or you may choose to turn it off completely and shut down to your inner knowing altogether. Regardless of the volume level

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Chérie Carter-Scott, Ph.D., MCC

  or the on/off switch, the radio keeps on transmitting whether you are listening to it or not.

Each person has his or her individual purpose and distinct path, unique and separate from anyone else. As you travel on your life path, you will be presented with numerous lessons that you will need to learn in order to fulfill that purpose. The lessons that are presented to you are designed specifically for you. Learning these lessons is the key to discovering and fulfilling the purpose and relevance of your life.

You will be presented with lessons in every situation in your life. When you experience pain, you have the opportunity to learn a lesson. When you feel joy, you can learn a different lesson. For every action or event, there is an accompanying lesson that you have the option to learn. There really is no way to avoid the lessons you are presented, since they will keep repeating until you learn them. You can’t copy anyone else’s answers, and you can’t fake it. Your lessons are like gravity. They must be What Is Your Message?

7

  learned, fully and completely in order for you to attain life mastery and fulfill your purpose.

You have a purpose for being here on Earth. Whether you are aware of it or not, you definitely have a life purpose. Whether you have discovered your life purpose or not, you still have a destiny to fulfill. Messages are provided to you to help guide you on your path. These messages are presented to you from a variety of sources to illuminate your way, especially when the path becomes difficult to see.

As you travel through your lifetime, you will encounter challenging lessons that others are spared, while others will spend years struggling with challenges that are not part of your curriculum. You may never know why you are blessed with financial abundance when others struggle with continuous scarcity. You may look enviously at a truly happy marriage wondering, “Where is my soul mate?” One person wrestles with her weight while another struggles with dyslexia.

One has severe physical

challenges while another battles with trying to secure

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Chérie Carter-Scott, Ph.D., MCC

  employment. Each person has their own individual curriculum, and the lessons of others often can appear enviable. The one thing you can count on for certain is that you will be presented with all the lessons that you specifically need to learn to fulfill your destiny. Whether you choose to learn them or not is entirely up to you.

If you are not comfortable with the spiritual side of life, you will allocate your messages to coincidence, serendipity, or déjà vu. If you, however, are comfortable with the spiritual side of life, you may attribute your messages to a higher power. One essential fact about messages is that you will be inconvenienced by what they ask and you will not want to follow the message. When you listen to your irrational, illogical, and unreasonable messages you will tune in to that spiritual guidance that is invoked in meditation or in a coaching session. Messages are best heard when you are still and listening to the whispers of your inner knowing. You may be wondering, “What is a message?”

What Is Your Message?

9

  Messages: Your Spiritual DNA “Messages” are inner imperatives that tell you to do something that seems to be out of the blue. They are irrational, illogical, and unreasonable; they aren’t aligned with your rational plans and usually appear to be an inconvenience. Messages are spiritual DNA that we are born with to guide and direct our lives. These messages embody important information that guide you to take a risk in order to grow. The messages can come from our higher selves, angels, spirit guides, souls who have crossed over, or from whomever you refer to as “Almighty.”

Messages stretch you beyond your comfort zone by asking you to do something that you don’t normally do. You will notice messages urging you to go against your doctor’s advice, say or do something out of the ordinary. If a message comes to you three times in a row, pay attention, because it will persist until you do what it is you are being guided to do. Your Spirit’s responses show up as “Messages.” They are not derived logically from your brain, but rather surface from deep within you and appear as

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Chérie Carter-Scott, Ph.D., MCC

  an inner directive. Your Spirit knows what is right for you at any given moment. Its answers are from the core of your inner knowing and they have a direct bearing on what you choose to do that will enable you to grow. Your Spirit’s answers are not random. They are precise and purposeful. Your Spirit does not need data or information to determine its answers.

Questions that require data or information are better left to the mind. Your Spirit knows what is best for you. Your Spirit is guided by more evolved Spirits whose primary intention is to guide and direct you on your path for the greatest good for all involved. Your Spirit answers questions like, “What do I want?” The answer has a connection to your purpose in life.

Your Spirit guides you in the

direction that provides the optimum growth and fulfillment. It provides you with conscious purpose, direction, and meaning that already exists however you may be unaware of them. Making statements to your Spirit and receiving specific guidance adds value to your life—the value of having your spiritual

What Is Your Message?

11

  GPS guide your way. Your Spirit does not only hold the answers to questions about your life, it also has unconditional trust that whatever you do at any moment of your life is exactly what you need to do to fulfill your purpose on Earth.

Just as you might not be fully aware of your physical DNA, you still have it inside your genes. It is undeniable that DNA exists in every gene even though you may never have seen it under a microscope in a laboratory, you still accept the word of others who have conducted DNA research and are credible scientists. Your spiritual DNA sends you messages about everything that you need to know about yourself and what you need to do to live a fulfilled life. Spiritual DNA, for example, tells you when to awaken, what form of exercise you must do, when you need to rest or meditate, when you need to travel, which people you need to contact, and when you need to spend time completely alone. The messages transmit clues that tell you what you need from moment to moment. The problem is that the messages usually don’t coincide with your plans for

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Chérie Carter-Scott, Ph.D., MCC

  your immediate future. The messages are not considerate, appropriate, responsible, or polite. They show up usually uninvited. They show up at strange moments and can be rather disruptive. They ask you to do things that are not in your plan, or on your “To Do” list; in addition, they usually require you to stretch outside of your parameters of appropriate behavioral norms.

For instance, in the middle of writing a report, you might get a message to call a friend. You probably don’t know why you are receiving this message at this specific moment, but you have choices: to postpone it, to argue with the message, or to act on it. If you argue with it, which is what many people do, you might muse, “This isn’t the best time to call, I’m too busy right now, she’s probably not there, I’m too tired, I don’t feel like it, I’ll do it later.” More often than not, when you honor the message and make the call, your friend will be there, answer the phone, and she might even say, “I was just thinking of you, how strange that you would call at this precise moment!”

What Is Your Message?

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  The message will tell you when you need to stop what you are doing and take a break, when you need to lie down, when to take a walk, when to exercise, when to write in your journal, or when to spend quality time with your family. If you listen closely, you will receive clear clues about when to travel, when to stay home, when to change jobs, when to get out of a relationship, when to move from an apartment, and when to stop doing everything and just “Be.”

You receive messages about everything. You get messages about what to eat, how much to eat, how often, and when you need to stop eating, rest, or take the day off. Some messages come in the form of feelings, and others are like sounds or sensations. You can also ask for a message, but you have to be ready to receive it when it shows up…in whatever form it takes.

Messages give you information about a myriad of topics if you are open to receive them. The message may seem disconcerting when you’ve

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Chérie Carter-Scott, Ph.D., MCC

  planned to spend the day with the family and the message has a directive that asks you to take notes on a project you’ve been working on. You may plan to take a nap and the message tells you to get up and write down something important so you won’t forget it. You plan to go to lunch and the message tells you to call your mother. You plan to read a book and the message tells you to book your flight. The messages don’t

differentiate

between

private

life

and

professional commitments, nor do they draw a line between activity and rest. If you are completely open to your messages, and you are in the flow of inspiration you may feel as if they are now in charge of your life. In fact, the messages have more clarity than you do since they come from the helicopter perspective rather than the Earthly point of view. Messages are about honoring yourself and others, and doing the right thing. They are never negative, and do not encourage illegal, unethical, or immoral behavior.

There are several challenges about listening to your messages. The first is hearing them; you need

What Is Your Message?

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  to be able to hear your messages. When your mind chatters at you, it is difficult to hear your messages. The messages are quiet whispers, and the mind chatter can be much louder drowning out those subtle, ephemeral messages. It’s difficult to hear with your mind chattering away. The second challenge is when you do hear your messages you might dismiss what they urge you to do. Since messages appear inconvenient and ridiculous, you might discount them as if they were mosquitos flying around your head. Instead of listening and trusting them, you might discredit, disown, and blatantly disregard these subtle and repetitious messages that are transmitted constantly. If you are out of touch with your feelings, and you discredit your messages, it is normal for you to end up not knowing what is best for you, and simply responding to most questions with, “I don’t know.”

At that point, you might

consider listening to your feelings in order to hear, listen, allow, trust, and act on the messages you are receiving for guidance regarding your life.  

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Chérie Carter-Scott, Ph.D., MCC

  As you strive to discover and learn about yourself on this journey, you will encounter a myriad of lessons. Look at these lessons as opportunities to help you uncover your own unique purpose. These lessons form your curriculum, and some of them are required courses in the overall school of life. You can identify a lesson when it creates a certain amount of discomfort and stretches you out of your comfort zone. When a change in behavior is required, when there is a need for reflection, or when you are asked to look at your circumstances from a different perspective there is probably a lesson in store for you. If you don’t master a specific lesson, it will resurface again, and again, and again until you have passed the tests.

This is a warning, be careful not to compare your lessons, path, or purpose with those around you. Do your very best to refrain from focusing on the disparity between the lessons of others and your own. The lessons of others always appear more attractive compared to your lessons. You need to remember that you will only be presented with

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  lessons that you are capable of learning, and those lessons are specific to your own evolution, development, and the fulfillment of your individual destiny. If you are able to rise to this challenge, you can unravel the mystery of your purpose and actually fulfill it. You cease being a victim of fate or circumstances, and you become empowered as a student in the school of life. Life no longer just "happens to you." You have claimed the driver’s seat of your life and in addition, you also get to navigate your course.

The challenge, therefore, is to align yourself with your own unique path by learning your individual lessons. This is one of the most difficult challenges that you will face in your lifetime, since sometimes your path will lead you into a life that is radically different from what you previously knew. You may ask, “Why me? Why this lesson? How did this happen? Why now of all times? Haven’t I done enough? Will this ever change?” You will not readily receive answers to these questions since they are

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Chérie Carter-Scott, Ph.D., MCC

  semi-rhetorical, but that won’t stop you from asking them nonetheless.

When

your

questions

transform

into

statements you will start receiving guidance. One of the lessons you need to learn is to ask for what you want. Rather than asking rhetorical questions, you need to make clear statements. Instead of asking, “Why am I getting this lesson?” You need to say, “I want a clear message that provides guidance about my next step.” This is a request that can be supported and subsequently delivered. Asking for messages is a pivotal step in your evolution as a person.

Asking for my Life’s Purpose I lost my mother when I was 20. My father sold our family home and moved to a distant state. I knew that the degree that I had earned was not the career I would be pursuing, but I had no idea which direction to turn. I asked friends what they thought I should do for work, but the advice they gave was not helpful. I had no one available to ask for direction

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  and guidance. I felt lost. I needed to find my bearings and discover my Spiritual DNA. I made lists, meditated, prayed, and asked for answers. I said to God, “I want a message. I am ready to know why I am here and eager to fulfill my life’s purpose.”

Magically, out of the blue, I started to receive messages. The first message was, “You are a catalyst for discovery!” That was a novel moment. I recall thinking “Catalyst” is not a word I normally use. I looked it up in the dictionary and it read, “Stimulus for change.” I mused about this first message, since it sounded like me, but I wasn’t sure of the application to my life. Within two weeks, the second message came to me, “You are to work in growth and development!” I felt more comfortable with the second message since it made sense to me, even though I didn’t yet know the exact format. I sat with these two messages imagining all the various ways I could be a catalyst for growth and development. Then ten days later, the third message arrived, “You have a gift for working with people!” I strung the three messages together and came up with, “I am a

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Chérie Carter-Scott, Ph.D., MCC

  catalyst who works with people in their growth and development!” Then I was dismayed. I didn’t know what to do with this bundled message. I kept saying it over and over to myself wondering what to do with it. I thought, do I print it on a business card? Do I state it like an elevator pitch, “I am a catalyst who works with people in their growth and development!” This sounded really awkward. I was becoming more irritated. I had asked for a message, received three of them, strung them together and it was useless! I assume I was expecting a job title, the name of an industry, or a profession that sounded impressive. Instead what I received sounded like a riddle. I was uncomfortable for days until I received an out-of-the-blue phone call from a friend who asked if I could help him with his company. I explained that I was in search of my life purpose and thanked him for thinking of me. A week passed and he called again and explained his business to me in more detail. I insisted that even though I was complimented by his reaching out to me, I had no experience with business. I said that I was busy searching for my life’s purpose and I suggested that

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  he find himself an experienced business consultant. After several days, he called for the third time and said, “I am really serious about you helping me with my business.” I said to him, “I have no background, no experience, and no expertise in business whatsoever, in fact, I really know nothing!” His response floored me. He said, “That could come in handy!” in a very calm voice. I replied, “I have been totally honest with you and clear about my reservations and limitations, and if you still want to hire me knowing all of that, then I accept!”

After spending four days observing activities in his office, I then met with him privately on day five in a coaching session. He left with a glow surrounding his aura and I recalled the words and replayed them in my head, “I am a catalyst who works

with

development!”

people The

in

their

growth

and

light

bulb

switched

on,

illuminating the connection between my three messages and what just occurred in my office. I connected the dots and saw that he was the messenger that I needed to see the direct application

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Chérie Carter-Scott, Ph.D., MCC

  of the message I received. I now completely understood what was meant and my direction became crystal clear.

Much to my surprise, rather than feeling relieved or inspired, I felt slightly melancholy because this marked the end of an era. Even though I asked for the message, affirming that I was ready, willing, and able to take the next step, I came to realize that this phase of my life, in naïve uncertainty, was rapidly drawing to a close.

Once I received my three messages I knew my direction. I knew that once I consciously began to take responsibility for my life, it would be nearly impossible to sink back into the “I don’t know” zone. I had just passed through the tunnel from childhood uncertainty to the clarity of adulthood and left my insecure, confused, fearful, and unconscious life behind. It was undeniable that I knew my purpose and direction, and I knew exactly what it looked like. It was time to grow up, to take charge, and to make

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  my life what I dreamed it could be. I was now in the driver’s seat of my life.

*** You have Spiritual DNA within you and it is your most powerful invisible resource to make certain that you fulfill your destiny. You always have the answers within you, all you need to do is to listen, trust, and honor your messages. This, however, is easier said than done.

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Chapter 2 Messages in Daily life: Eating & Shopping “Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.” —Steve Jobs

Messages come in many forms, and you need to be tuned in to pick up the clues. The clues are always there, but sometimes you can get locked in to how the message is supposed to look. You are busy looking for burning bushes, or for signs on billboards, when in fact the message may be right in

What Is Your Message?

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  front of your face. Many people miss their messages because they are blind to it; they have a mental image of what they are supposed to see. You can’t get attached to things looking the way you think they should look, because they often don’t fit your mental pictures. They can come in the form of inner directives, phone calls, letters, books, periodicals, literally any way that you can receive information. The key is that if it’s a message, it doesn’t go away. It is recurring and incessant. In addition, after three repetitions of the same message, it’s a good idea to stop, look, and listen.

Listen for the Bong When my body has had enough, it feels a sensation called, enough! Your body also tells you when you’ve had enough to eat. The problem is that most people don’t like the body’s sense of timing or its capacity. Try this exercise the next time you sit down to eat a meal. First, choose what you and your body want to eat. Actually have a consultation with your body. Ask your body what it wants to eat. Then listen for the answer. When you get the answer,

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  don’t judge or criticize it, just listen and accept what it says. Then prepare your meal. You can either purchase the ingredients or go to a restaurant and order your stomach’s requests.

Mindful Dining When a plate of wonderful food is placed in front of you, take a deep breath before you begin to dine. Take a moment and give thanks for the privilege to eat delicious morsels that are exactly what your body requires at this moment. After you take a bite, put your fork down, and chew your food thoroughly. Make sure that you breathe while you are chewing and that you swallow before you pick up your fork, spoon, or knife. Do this every time you take another mouthful. While you are chewing your food, don't cut and prepare the next bite, don’t butter your bread, or sip your beverage. Focus your attention on chewing, breathing, and experiencing the flavors and textures of your meal. You can definitely be involved in the conversation, and contribute your thoughts and ideas, however, remember to slow down while you are digesting

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  your nourishment. Mindful dining will enable you to synch up with your body’s natural rhythm.

During this process, listen for the Bong. The Bong is a feeling below your navel that lets you know that you have had enough. It is a subtle message from your digestive tract to your brain that indicates, “That's enough, stop now.” It is a feeling that you may have never felt or heard before, but it is real. In order to hear the Bong, you need to be fully present, actively breathing, and chewing your food. If you do all of this, and you listen closely, you will hear it. Often people complain to me: “I have a premature Bong!” They don't like hearing their Bong until they have

cleaned

their

plate.

They

say

they're

disappointed that they have to stop eating too soon. If you are not paying attention, the Bong can sound and you will ignore it and override the signal. This is the reason that mindful dining is a good practice. Slow down, be deliberate, breathe, chew each bite twenty-six times before you swallow, and while you are chewing simply be. In the beginning it will feel

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Chérie Carter-Scott, Ph.D., MCC

  strange, but after a while it will become a welcome shift in energy from rushing through your meal.

People who were raised in large families were motivated to eat as much as possible before all of the food had disappeared. Other people who have strict schedules, have been programmed to shovel food into their mouths as fast as possible since they have a brief moment to stockpile nutrients their body will require for the upcoming time period. Others have gotten into bad habits of eating quickly before the food gets cold, or before someone requests some bites of their meal. Whatever the conditioning, most people rush through their meals mindlessly and unconsciously, after tasting their first bite. Whatever you don’t consume at your mindful dining experience, you can easily take home with you for a snack later in your day.

Mindful Dining Guidelines… 1. Make sure your bites are medium size

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  2. Take a bite of food, put down your utensils 3. Listen for the Bong 4. Remember to breathe while you are chewing 5. Wait to pick up your utensils until after you have swallowed 6. Take one bite at a time, do not add another bite while chewing 7. Breathe in between bites 8. Never prepare your next bite while you are still chewing 9. Count the number of times your teeth connect 10. Masticate each bite 26 times before swallowing

You have to firmly believe that this is not your last meal, or that you only have thirty minutes to pack in all the pleasure you can get. Use the Bong exercise to listen to your inner digestive messages. Trust it, honor it, and choose when and how much you want to eat. If your Bong goes off prematurely,

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Chérie Carter-Scott, Ph.D., MCC

  ask the waitperson for a take-away package and keep it for later.

If you want to activate your messages in the dining arena, you can easily eat half of what you are presently consuming. You can also apply messages to the experience of shopping.

Mindful Shopping Years ago some of our trainers asked me to take them shopping for appropriate professional trainer clothes. It is easier for men to dress in business casual than for women, so I agreed. I thought that this would be a great opportunity to apply the “Messages” to the mundane experience of shopping. I imagined that if we brought some mindfulness to the experience that good choices would be made, there would be less returns, fewer beat-ups, and the overall experience would be less costly in terms of time and money. Before we went I asked each one of them to have their own personal colors ready so we would know which shades and styles were preferable to accentuate their assets. I

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  established these guidelines for the shopping excursion.

Guidelines for Mindful Shopping: 1. Go to what catches your eye and gives you the “oo-oo” feeling 2. Ask if the garment is available in your size 3. Notice what you are feeling 4. Do not look at the price tags 5. Take a minimum of five items into the dressing room 6. Try on the clothes, and “feel” yourself in them. If they don’t feel right, then they are clearly a “No!” 7. Trust your immediate feeling. If the clothes didn’t work for whatever reason, it is the clothing that is cut improperly or not well designed…it can never be concluded that your body

is

wrongly

constructed!

Explore all possibilities with the clothing.

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Chérie Carter-Scott, Ph.D., MCC

  8. Put each item into one of three piles: “Yes” means 100% right on, “No” means total reject, and “Maybe” means need more data. 9. After you have tried on everything that beckons to you in this section of the store, return the “No” items, and check the “Maybe” pile one final time. If your mind starts to engage and tell you what needs to be changed to make it work, then move it to the “No” pile. 10. Now you should have one pile of “Yes” items. Revisit your budget and your objectives for the shopping excursion and state them clearly. 11.

Take each item and now look at the price tag. Compare your allotment for shopping with your budget and see what you can do to negotiate buying

what

you

cannot

live

without, what will work best for you without violating your budget.

What Is Your Message?

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  Our shopping excursions were very successful and we had a lot of fun in the process.

Messages make little to no sense, but they feel right. Listening to the messages is like operating from a truly different reality. When you live life listening to the messages, you separate yourself from the confused mainstream. Messages don’t fit into the scientific, rational, analytic system. When you live life aligned with your higher self, listening to your subtle messages, some people may think you’ve lost your grip on reality.

*** Are you willing to make changes? Are you willing to challenge your beliefs? Are you willing to fulfill your unlimited potential? You have the power to make all of your dreams come true if you believe in yourself and your spiritual DNA. Apply messages and mindful living to every area of your life and see how things start to magically change.

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Chérie Carter-Scott, Ph.D., MCC

 

Chapter 3 Inner Negotiation Workshop Messages “At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want." —Lao Tzu

My organization, The MMS Worldwide Institute,

has

been

conducting

two-day

transformational workshops for over 40 years. In our Inner Negotiation Workshop (INW), people who are considering

attending

have

an

interview

to

determine their objectives. If they have legitimate and achievable objectives, they attend the program, with their objectives, which is similar to a shopping list that they bring with them to the grocery store of new behaviors. The objectives are their primary focus and remind them of their purpose when temporary amnesia sets in.

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35

  In the beginning we manage expectations, and we let the participants know that they will receive a message during the workshop. They may receive many, but they will at least receive one. We explain the features of messages and we also tell them that one of the potential benefits of the workshop is hearing, honoring, and heeding their messages, which in real life translates into trusting themselves and living life from a helicopter perspective.

At the beginning of the INW most people are skeptical, imagining that they will be the one person who doesn’t get a message. Everyone who takes that two-day course knows at the end exactly what a message is, and they believe it is unforgettable. The objectives act as an anchor focusing participants on their goals and priorities. The message is invited to come forward from their inner knowing to their conscious mind.

The

purpose is to provide guidance to them on their journey through the workshop. When they have a breakthrough from the connection of the objective

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Chérie Carter-Scott, Ph.D., MCC

  with the message, it is their super-conscious mind that makes sense of their epiphany. It is a method that bypasses the brain to access inner knowing, when the brain only produces confusion rather than direction. Objectives from the conscious mind coupled with the messages from the subconscious essential-self

work

together

synergistically

to

formulate breakthrough experiences.

Here are some examples of how we help people hear and trust their messages.

Message Rehabilitation Sandy came to the workshop with the objective of finding her peace. She was a mother of two, lived a busy life, and was always doing things to accommodate and support others. Half way through the first day, she received a message. She wrestled with it and argued with it, but at one point, she said, “I just have to do it!”

I asked her, “What do you have to do?”

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  She said meekly, “Howl!”

I asked her to set it up, and give the other participants the opportunity to opt out if they didn’t want to be a part of this process. She said, “On the count of three, I want everyone to howl as loud as they can, like wolves howling at the moon. Ready?”

It was apparent that no one wanted to miss this howling experience, and on her count, the workshop

turned

into

the

loudest

howling

experience I have ever heard. At the end of it, Sandy looked radiant, and I asked her what happened. With her face aglow, she stated, “I found the shewolf within me. She is desperate to be in nature, in the trees, and mountains, with the grass beneath my feet. I live in the city and I hardly ever see greenery unless I go to the park. My life is about concrete and I long for nature. I hadn’t realized how out of touch I have become with my very basic needs.”

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Chérie Carter-Scott, Ph.D., MCC

  Tom’s Unacceptable Message Tom came to the workshop feeling very skeptical that he would find any benefit from a twoday experience. He came dressed in a suit as if he was going to the office and sat with his arms and legs crossed most of the time. The scowl on his face revealed his discomfort. During the afternoon on the first day he raised his hand and said, “I got one!”

When I asked if he wanted to share it, he shook his head. Later that evening, he again raised his hand and said, “It’s back!”

When invited to share or take the next step he declined. The next morning, Tom volunteered that the message would not leave him alone all night, and he was willing to share it, but that was all. He said, “I am supposed to skip!”

Hours passed and Tom raised his hand and said, “Okay, I will do it under one condition…that no one can watch!”

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  As the other participants lowered their heads into their hands, Tom got up and attempted to skip, something he had not done for a very long time. Finally he found the rhythm and he skipped around the circle nearly a dozen times—finally stopping when he was out of breath. The participants peeked and asked if they could open their eyes. He nodded and when I prompted him to tell us what had happened, he said, “I had a flashback. I was seven years old. My uncle sat me on his lap and looked me in the eye and said, ‘Tommy, you’re the man of the family now.’ You see it was the day my dad died. ‘You have to take care of your mother and sister.’ That was the last time I recall skipping. I came to this workshop looking for my sparks. I have been responsible and accountable to a fault, but I lost my fun along the way. I think I just got back one of my puzzle pieces.” His face was shining.

Trudy and the Spoons Trudy came to the workshop in search of her power.

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Chérie Carter-Scott, Ph.D., MCC

  For quite some time, Trudy had been responsible for 900 people, in charge of in-depth surveys, and various other tasks ranging in difficulty and intensity at her place of employment—yet, Trudy found herself searching for power and recognition from her boss.

As she was sat in the workshop that particularly sunny afternoon, Trudy received a message.

“I have to make a sound—It’s a very large sound, and it’s not very pretty sounding. It’s like Mahler’s Fifth or the Red Chinese Army. I’ll tell you what it’s not like: it is not like The Sound of Music. Rather it is cacophonic, and people might want to cover

their

ears—this

won’t

be

pretty!”

“What else is there?”

“Nothing more that’s all I know!”

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  As we went on with the workshop, the other participants continued with what they wanted, and what they needed. Then about two hours later, just before the break, Trudy received a second message.

She raised her hand, then said, “I know this is going to sound really stupid, and I can’t imagine what it means, but I have to have spoons. I want two big spoons for every person in the room. It has something to do with spoons and noise. That’s all I know for now.”

So, we took a break and she met with her facilitator. When she came back from the break, she was in her chair with her hand held high again. She started to speak, “I know what I have to do. I want all of those Formica tables from the back of the room. Let’s put them together to make one large circular table. Then I want everyone to have two spoons and find a place standing around the table.

I want

everybody there! And when I say ‘go,’ I want everyone to bang the tables with those spoons until I say ‘stop.’”

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Chérie Carter-Scott, Ph.D., MCC

  Everyone in the room was excited to help her. They were all willing, ready, and able to help as long as it was her process and not theirs. So they gathered together, spoons in hand, and got ready for action. When she said, “Go” they all started banging the spoons.

Well, it sounded like Niagara Falls. The noise was so large, the manager had to tell the hotel that we were doing an actor’s workshop, because it sounded like the end of the world. When Trudy said, “Stop,” they stopped.

“The next time we do this, I want everyone to say, ‘Om.’ When I say, ‘Stop’ I want you to stop.” When Trudy said “start,” they started beating their spoons, and saying “Om.” When she said, “Stop” they stopped.

“That was fabulous! Better than last time thank you!”

What Is Your Message?

43

  Trudy gave her next command, “The next time I say stop I want you to stop saying ‘Om’ so I can hear my voice.” She started them again and stopped them again until she heard herself sing ‘Om.’”

And eventually Trudy gave her final command: “Now I want you to drum the spoons, say ‘Om’ and when I wave my hand from left to right, stop saying ‘Om’ and I’m going to scream something really loud!”

The room got so filled with excitement, and Trudy’s eyes began to sparkle. The drumming began as did the ‘Om,’ and then Trudy waved her hand from left to right. The room went silent, and then a burst of energy came out of Trudy as she yelled, “I will be recognized and I will be seen by everyone on this team, and you will notice me. I do a fabulous job and I will be recognized for my work.”

Trudy’s eyes were sparkling—her voice was clear, steady, and loud. She has found her power, and

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Chérie Carter-Scott, Ph.D., MCC

  her voice, and her words, and she dared to say what she hadn’t said for the five years that she’d been doing her work, her surveys, entirely unrecognized.

“That’s it! That’s what I never say to my management team. Those are the words I’ve been looking for and that was the courage I needed to be able to bring them forward.”

Trudy went back to her work the following Monday, met with the management team and said the words she dared to say. She was promoted to business class. Trudy went on to become an MMS coach, and continued her work with KLM and eventually Transavia.

Rudi’s Search for Bad Rudi came to the workshop in search of his passion. His white hair gave away his age, and his cautious demeanor revealed how carefully he had lived his life. While coaching him during the workshop, he shared that he had always been a good boy and done everything his mother said. He

What Is Your Message?

45

  commented that during the night he received a very strange message that asked him to be bad. He hadn’t the remotest idea what it meant to be bad, because he had always been good. He was confused by the message, and couldn’t imagine what he could do in the INW during these two days that would qualify as bad. Hours passed, and as we walked in the square around the workshop venue, a loud motorcycle sped up next to us. He looked at it with a kind of horror, and I asked, “How do you feel about them?”

Rudi looked at the rider and the large piece of chrome and metal and said, “Scary!”

I probed, “Is that a bad thing to do?”

He nodded vigorously and said, “My mother would never let me ride on one!”

I went the next step, “Would that be ‘bad’?”

“Oh definitely” he replied, “Very bad!”

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Chérie Carter-Scott, Ph.D., MCC

  “Do you want to ask him for a ride?” I invited.

“Do you think I could?” Rudi commented.

I said, “You can’t refuse unless you’ve been asked!”

His request was granted and off they flew. When Rudi returned five minutes later, he couldn’t stop smiling. He had trusted his message, took a big risk, done something he considered really bad, survived and lived to share about it. That moment changed Rudi’s life.

Mobile Messages Eddie stood at the window talking to Marc when he said, “How do you know when it is a message?”

“Usually they take you by surprise, they come in strange ways. Sometimes they come to you while you are in the workshop room, wandering What Is Your Message?

47

  around the venue, they could be inspired by a fellow student while you are sitting in class.” Marc stated frankly.

“Well, take a look at that big white truck.” Eddie pointed to the cursive script scrawled across the truck pulling up in front of the hotel. It looks right on target with our conversation, a bike truck with Essie written on it, “A little bit uncanny to see my wife’s name on the side of the truck. Is it always this obvious?”

“I guess Essie will be with us this weekend,” Marc responded. “What do you imagine that message is telling you,” Marc queried as they watched the bikes being unloaded. The last one was a tandem—built for two.

Eddie exclaimed, “I get it! Essie and I need to go for a bike ride together!” Then he continued, “I want Wendy to be Essie and to go for a bike ride with me!”

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Chérie Carter-Scott, Ph.D., MCC

  Marc mounted his bike and facilitated the ride up the hill, Eddie shouting out his new declarations to Wendy simulating his wife, Essie.

Eddie reported to the group that he found his voice, his words, and his power. Something he had been imagining doing for a long time came together on the bike ride up the hill.

Two weeks later there was a follow-up reunion with all of the workshop participants. At a certain moment Marc asked Wendy, “Where is Eddie?”

“Why he’s right over there! He’s the guy in the suit and tie looking very Sparkly.” Wendy responded.

Marc asked, “Has he grown? He looks taller than I recall.”

What Is Your Message?

49

  When the participants gathered together in a circle Eddie’s hand was the first one raised.

“My wife shared that she got a new husband.” Everyone was shocked. They couldn’t believe that Eddie and Essie had gotten divorced after all these years together. The overwhelming response from the participants was, “No, It cannot be true!”

Eddie replied, “Not only did we not get divorced we have never been better. She got back the man she had married in the first place. I’ve just been missing in action all these years. Thanks to the Inner Negotiation Workshop, I found my power and I reaffirmed my commitment to my wife. Life has never been better! I am so happy that bike truck showed up with Essie’s name on it! That was the best message I could ever imagine.”

Inviting the Imperfect Part to Show up Frank, a CEO, came to the INW open and ready to learn, grow, and discover his messages. He

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  was enthusiastic and eagerly supported everyone in their message excavation. When it came to Frank, he received a message he didn’t anticipate. As a person who prefers to be in control and help others, it was difficult for Frank to ask for what he wanted. It was even more difficult for Frank to be vulnerable, exposed, and without a plan. He raised his hand and shared, “My message is to sing. I am not a very good singer and I loathe karaoke, so if you want to leave the room I completely understand. This will not be a performance but rather a part of me coming forward that I never show. No one stirred. It was a very silent moment of anticipation. Frank then said, I may forget the words and if I do I will just sing, “La-la-la” okay? All nodded. Then Frank, with a quivering voice started, “Que sera sera, What will be will be."

The words to the song were Frank’s message to himself: let go, trust, it will all work out even if you are not in control. The risk was letting people see his not-so-perfect side, which is a rare occurrence.

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  When he was finished, the other participants asked him to do it again. He was shocked, but complied. It eventually turned into a group sing-along that delighted everyone.

Breaking Out of the Box Jess came to the INW looking like one of the beautiful and perfect people. No one could imagine that she had any objectives. On day two, she raised her hand and said, “I have constructed a box around myself. I have become a perfect person, but I have lost myself in the process. The message that came to me in my dreams was a box. I need to break out of the box. I created it and I have to get out.

I went to look for a box this morning and I found this large corrugated box. I am now going to write all of the perfect parts of me that I need to break out of on the box.” She proceeded to write phrases like, Perfect mother, Perfect daughter, Perfect wife, Perfect woman, Perfect grocery shopper, Perfect dresser, Perfect fundraiser, and she continued to write in a large marker pen all of the perfections that

52

Chérie Carter-Scott, Ph.D., MCC

  she had constructed to keep her in her box. Then she wrote all of her, “You can’t do what you want because…” There were numerous ones attributed to her mother, sister, daughter, husband, and friends. When she was finished writing all of her mandated limitations on the outside of the box, she crawled into the box and asked that it be taped up. We poked air holes in it so she could breathe, and had agreed that a loud “Stop” would be her signal to terminate the process.

Before she started, I checked in with her and she said, “It is much darker than I imagined; it’s hot and I am pretty scared, but I know I can do this.” For a while she seemed to be experimenting with how to break open the box, and then she shared, “This is much tougher than I thought.” Then she started to let herself get really angry, which violated her perfect demeanor, and started to vehemently kick her way out. Eventually, she broke open the box and came into the light. She looked on fire when she shared, “I am going to be me, with all of my imperfections, and if people don’t like it…tough!” She never looked

What Is Your Message?

53

  more beautiful than at that moment with everything askew.

Maurice Claims his life Maurice came to the INW with the objective of freeing himself from a past abusive relationship. He had worked for a boss who took advantage of his good nature and for ten years Maurice never spoke his truth to anyone. His message came to him at lunch the first day and it was in the image of a volcano. He knew he had to do something that was alien for him, he had to become disloyal to his old boss, say what he never said, stand up and speak up for

himself,

and

give

his

disrespect,

his

diminishment of his morals and beliefs a place to be. When he started to say his unspeakable truth, he felt such guilt that he thought he could not continue. With encouragement to honor his message, he allowed himself to release the rage of diminishment and to claim back his life. It was like watching a boy turn into a man. He glowed with his new behaviors including overcoming guilt.  

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Chérie Carter-Scott, Ph.D., MCC

  Patty’s cake Patty came to the workshop with the objective to resolve a relationship that had gone sour. Her conflict was that she was a very loyal person and didn’t give up easily. She knew in her gut that the relationship would most probably fail because abuse is not something that is easily changed, however, her high standards for herself would not let her give up. As we sat in the workshop, Patty received a clear message that said, “You make your cake, you eat it!” These were her mother’s words that echoed of consequence management. She had made her cake and she felt stuck with it…but she didn’t like it. She did her best to reconcile the gap between her stuck reality and her wish to be able to live the magical life she dreamed. Within an hour the next message came to her, “Bake a new cake!” She thought, “I can do that!”

She created a recipe with ingredients that read like this: ½ cup of flour for truthfulness One egg for fidelity and commitment

What Is Your Message?

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  ¼ cup of milk for respect and honor 2 T sugar for sweetness and kindness 1/3 cup of chocolate for love and sensuality Bake it for 1 hour and you have a new life!

Patty shared her new recipe, and then she asked if she could use the venue’s kitchen to bake her new cake. Amazingly enough, the manager of the facility agreed, and Patty created her new recipe and then baked it. When she brought it to the group, she said, “I didn’t like my old cake so I created a new cake and I baked it. I now have a new cake, and I want all of you to have a piece of my cake and celebrate the new life I am creating. You are all my witnesses that there are no limits to what we can do!”

Patty was ecstatic and she did, in fact, create a completely new life recipe for herself! She made her new cake and we all enjoyed eating it with her!

Drew’s Shoes Drew came to the INW because he wanted to make a career change and was concerned about

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Chérie Carter-Scott, Ph.D., MCC

  his ability to manage that transition along with his self-doubt. He always sat with his one hand in his jacket pocket. He was quiet and attentive, but was absolutely certain that he was the one person who did not and would not receive a message.

On the afternoon of the second day he was convinced and raised his hand (that was not in his pocket) and said, “No message!”

When I asked him if something had surfaced that he really didn’t want to do, he tilted his head. I continued, “You know a passing thought that you dismissed because it seemed ridiculous? Anything like that come across your screen?”

He looked sheepish and glanced at the floor. I said, “Drew, did I hit a nerve?”

He said, “Well something did come to me, but it’s really stupid.”

“Do you want to share it with us?” I asked.

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57

 

“Not really,” said Drew, “It is embarrassing.”

“You don’t have to do anything in here, but most

messages

do

have

an

element

of

embarrassment.”

He said, “It’s really dumb!”

“You can share it or not, it is up to you, it is merely an invitation,” I commented.

Drew took a deep breath and said, “I am supposed to ask to have my shoes tied.”

It looked as if he wanted to crawl under the rug. At that moment, Suzanne raised her hand and said, “I would like to tie Drew’s shoes. May I?”

Drew looked totally shocked and hardly knew what to say. He nodded approval. Suzanne came over to Drew, sat on the floor next to him, untied and then gracefully tied his shoes. Then

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  Miriam asked if she could tie his shoes, and the astonishment on Drew’s face reappeared. Then Suzanne asked if there were others, if she could be in charge of the untying. Hand after hand was raised with requests.

“I would like to tie Drew’s shoes for my daughter with autism.”

“I want to tie Drew’s shoes for all the children who have nerve disorders and are unable to tie their own shoes.”

“I want to tie Drew’s shoes because I forced my child to get Velcro sneakers so I wouldn’t have to do it.”

They started a line of people who wanted to use this ritual for some unresolved issue in their own lives. Drew was astounded and had no idea that listening to his message would bring such a result. When everyone had completed their dedications, Drew asked if he could do one more thing. I nodded,

What Is Your Message?

59

  and he said, “I would like to tie my own shoes for you.”

Then the hand that had been in his pocket for two days, made its debut. The hand had three fingers on it. Drew did the most artful shoe tying and when complete, the shoes were perfectly tied. Everyone asked to see him do it again and the second time was even more artful than the first. I asked Drew if he would like to share and he said, “I took this workshop because I want to make a career change. I want to become a real estate appraiser. I have been a framer and because of my hand I have lacked the confidence to be with people in public. Now because of all of you I believe I have found the courage to face my fears and make this career transition.

Lucy and the Key Lucy raised her hand and said, “I have a message and I need to go outside and run.”

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  We sent a facilitator to go with her and let her run, but before she left she said, “I need a key on a lanyard around my neck.”

The manager produced a lanyard and off they went. Lucy ran, then skipped, then ran some more. When she came back in the workshop room she was aglow. She had recalled a childhood memory when she came home from school. She always had the key to the house around her neck and as she ran it bounced on her chest. Both of her parents worked and she always had to let herself in to the house. The memory brought back the feeling of being alone and having to take care of herself. Then she felt a deep longing for someone to take care of her. She expressed this to the group and one of the participants said, “I will take care of you. You can lean on me.”

Lucy melted into her arms and let the tears of the little girl who had to raise herself pour forth. The message to run opened the door to cleansing her spirit and telling her truth.

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  Dad’s Shoes Walk in the Lake Eli was taking the INW to find his own voice. He was tired of sounding like everyone else in his life; he was in search of himself. At one point, he had his elbows on his thighs, looked down at the floor and said, “I’m even wearing his shoes!”

When I asked, “Whose?”

He replied, “My father!” He continued, “I not only sound like my father, I am actually wearing his shoes!” Everyone thought this was interesting, and the message flashed across his face, “I need to get rid of them!”

I probed, “What does it look like?”

He said, “I need to throw them in the lake!” He invited everyone to join him in his ritual at the lake of tossing the shoes into the water. The only problem was that the shoes floated and would not sink! He looked at the shoes that appeared as if they were walking across the water and started to laugh

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Chérie Carter-Scott, Ph.D., MCC

  out loud. He commented, “I thought this was going to be easy, but it seems like it is going to take more effort than I assumed. He started to gather rocks, sticks, and logs to throw at the shoes to get them to sink. The entire process took a while, but eventually the shoes started to sink. With that, a cheer went up from the entire group and Eli declared that he was reclaiming his life, starting with his feet. He was going to be his own person, wear his own shoes, and find his own voice his way!

Katrinka’s Healing Katrinka

discovered

that

one

of

her

objectives was to forgive herself for not going to medical school. She had held this against herself for many years. Even though she had become a psychiatric nurse, her dream was to be a doctor. She had persistent regret and self-recrimination at herself for not being accepted and then subsequently giving up going to medical school 25 years earlier. We had a coaching session about this topic and she received a message about enacting a process to forgive herself and finally put the issue to rest.

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  She walked outside with the entire group urging her to go in one direction and her message was to head in the “wrong” direction on a one-way street. All of the other participants encouraged and attended to her as she re-enacted her choices. What she discovered is that her choice was merely an alternate path, but was not wrong, and she forgave herself.

She shifted from looking at her career choice as a mistake and a failure to a choice that ultimately worked for her in the scheme of her overall life. She also saw that harboring this resentment towards herself for 25 years was benefitting no one. She saw that she had the power to reframe it, to see it in a different light, and to let go of her unfulfilled expectation from the past.

Tanja’s Disbelief That She Could Have It All! At the end of the first day of the Inner Negotiation Workshop, I met with Douglas about his objectives for the next day. Tanja’s piano

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  melodies wafted through the atrium, uplifting the spirits of all who heard.

The next morning, Tanja confided her dilemma, “I need to make a choice between taking the MMS Coach Training or buying a grand piano.” As a musical therapist with a passion for the healing power of music, Tanja was faced with a difficult choice. Additionally, she had experienced the breakthroughs of the MMS Coach Training from her soul mate. She wanted both of them, but decided that wasn’t possible.

“Are you certain that you have to choose? Is it inconceivable that you could have both?”

I

challenged her with the concept. “I heard your music yesterday. It seems to me that they go together.”

With huge wide-eyes, brimming with tears, “Do you think it is possible?” Tanja questioned.

“What do you want?” I asked.

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  “I only have the funds for one.” Tanja continued.

“If you could have it all, would you want both?”

“Of course…I want it all, but isn’t that asking too much?” Tanja searched my face.

“What would you do to make the message happen?”

“I have to talk to my grandmother, Oma…she loves my music.” Tanja answered.

“What’s in the way?” I probed.

“She has had an issue with my Mother. You see, my Dad committed suicide when I was eight. My grandmother has held her responsible for all these years. She thought that my mother could have prevented this from happening. It has been a dark cloud that has hung over all of our heads. I cannot

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  ask her to be my sponsor until I have cleared that terrible memory. It makes my relationship with my grandmother difficult for me and I could never ask her for support without addressing this unresolved issue.”

Tanja asked Douglas, retired banker in his late 50’s, if he would be her grandmother in a simulated conversation. “Something about him brings up the same fear as I feel about Oma. How am I to discuss these adult traumas with her after all of these years? It was over thirty years ago!“

The conflict between her mother and her paternal grandmother had been a block that she had never felt able to address. During the next part of the workshop Tanja honored her message and said the unsayable. Her tears were endless, the air was cleared, and the connection became restored.

The difficult words, “Will you help me choose a grand piano,” blurted from her lips as her (conjured) grandma listened with compassion.

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  Douglas, as Grandma, looked deeply into Tanja’s eyes and said “Yes, I will!”

Hearing Douglas say the words of hope created a shift in reality. For the first time, Tanja saw the possibility of her dream becoming a reality. The freedom created by exposing the untellable truth. The skeleton from the past had been exposed, the feelings released, a little girl’s trauma had been healed, and the possibility of magic was in the air.

As if channeling Oma, Douglas said softly: “… and I have one for you.” The quiet in the room was deafening and, although we all felt it, no one was quite sure whether it was Douglas or Oma speaking.

And then reality clicked in, Douglas was actually offering Tanja his grand piano as a gift. Everyone in the room was speechless. He was serious and this was not a simulation.

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  Tanja’s hope, inspiration, and unspoken dream was reborn. She knew that the door to unlimited possibilities had been flung open.

After the INW Tanja received a call from her grandmother, “Oma” inviting her to come over and play the piano for her. Later that afternoon the “Message” simulated conversation came to life when out of the blue “Oma” offered Tanja her piano.

Tanja is the proud owner of two grand pianos and she took the MMS Coach Training as well.

Janice’s Birthday Present Janice’s aunt gave her the Inner Negotiation Workshop as a birthday present. One of her objectives was to write something “important,” since she had been experiencing writer’s block for some time. When I asked her about it, she admitted that she had only written for work, and the thought of writing for her self was rather intimidating. These are Janice’s own words:

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  The next morning, Janice got in the shower and as she washed her hair, a very clear message said, “You don’t have to make up stories. They’re all inside you.” “All of a sudden, I couldn’t wait to finish my shower and start writing. It flowed from beginning to end with only a few cross-outs. Then I sat at the desk and sobbed. The story was about my mother and today was my birthday.

I call it, “January 13, 2007.”

There was no “push” back then. It was the fifties and modern women with busy lives opted to skip the whole pain thing and cut to the chase.

“So they said, ‘Congratulations, Ma’am, you have a healthy baby,’” my mom told me as she did every year on this day. “But they didn’t say whether you were a boy or a girl.”

My birthday was never complete without this story. Even later, when I was a teenager who

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  sighed and rolled my eyes when she started to tell it, deep down, I never tired of hearing it.

She continued. “So, I said, ‘What is it? A boy or a girl?’”

I could have recited the story with her, word for word, but that would have been disrespectful. She loved telling that story.

“And somebody said, ‘It’s a girl.’ And I said, “It’s a girl? A GIRL!?” and I wanted to run down the hallways, shouting, “I have a daughter! I have a girl!’”

Mom died a few years ago. But her memories died long before that. In those last years, I would tell her the story on my birthday.

She had only two expressions then – blank or confused. But when I told the story, she fixed those blue eyes on mine and listened. Her expression was one I wear a lot these days—

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  like she’d just forgotten a name for a moment and it was on the tip of her tongue; or, like she knew she’d heard the words before, and would remember where in just a moment more.

When I came to the part about her running down the hospital corridors shouting at the top of her lungs, she’d smile like a little girl who’s reached her favorite part of a story she’s heard a million times, and is getting ready to say, “Tell me again, mommy. Tell me about the day I was born.”

I can say that watching the transformations in that Inner Negotiation Workshop were incredible. One word, one sentence changed everything and we watched the person’s face, which had been twisted with pain, doubt, and sadness, light up. The entire group saw it. We could hardly believe what we were witnessing, but this is what the messages were leading to...the inner light shining through. It was as if the message was hidden in an inner chamber,

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  which possessed the golden answers. Once the answers were heard, trusted, and honored, life changed for that person. One after another we took the risk of trusting our inner messages and the payoff was profound!

What was important was that I broke through the past so I could confront the future. If you’re able to do that in a secure situation like the workshop, it really does translate to the real world.

I wanted you to know what you so generously contributed to—my growth and the most amazing birthday I’ve ever spent, and, Katrinka, if following your inner voice on this suggestion is any indication, you should never doubt that voice again. It’s incredibly wise. I can’t thank you enough. In fact, the only way I can think to thank any of you is to keep on growing and learning, using the tools you’ve given me the opportunity to receive this weekend. I’m forever grateful. Love, Janice

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  This was Janice’s message on her birthday in the INW. Somewhere her mother heard it too, because messages are like that. Trusting the message honored her mother, it honored her birth, and it honored herself.

*** If you limit the blessings the universe has for you, it will send a message. The universe is full of unlimited possibilities if you are willing to listen to them, trust, and receive the blessings. When you transcend logic, miracles abound. You need to release your limited beliefs for magic to manifest!

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Chapter 4 Messages in Coaching "Choice, not chance, determines your destiny." —Aristotle

We are born with this inner wisdom that resides deep within us and transmits messages about the choices that are right for us. If you listen carefully, you can tune into this frequency, which transmits information all the time. As I said before, it never stops. We have the choice to tune in and listen, or to tune out. Your radio is always transmitting, but you may not always choose to listen to it.

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  you need to rest, when you need to be with people, and when you need to be alone. The messages come from within and transmit clues that tell you what you need from moment to moment. The problem is that the messages usually don’t coincide with your plans for the immediate future.

For instance, in the middle of exercising at the gym, you might get a message about a book to order online. You probably don’t know why you are getting this message at this particular moment, but you always have choices: to honor the message or to act on it. More often than not, when you listen to the message, things work out and you might run into the person you needed to call right at the gym, magically, without you having to engineer it.

Messages provide all kinds of information constantly. It seems disconcerting when you’ve planned to do something and the message has other ideas for you.

You plan to take a nap and the

message says to get up and write something down so you won’t forget. You plan to go to lunch and the

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  message says to stop and go to the restroom. You plan to read a book and the message says to take a walk. You get messages about everything. Some messages come in the form of feelings, and others are word mandates, sounds or even sensations.

Messages Will Set You free! Annabelle was frustrated since she was having difficulty securing a job. In our session together, I asked her innocently, “Is there anything you’d rather be doing? Is there any place where you’d rather be?”

She looked at me as if she’d been discovered, “What do you mean?”

I commented, “When people know what they want they tend to get it. If they don’t get what they want there is static in the form of confusion, uncertainty, inner conflict, or fear of something that is in the way. Either they don’t dare state what they want, or they don’t believe that having it actually happen is possible. They may imagine that the gap

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  between where they currently are and where they want to be is too great and they give up on the dream and tuck it away, so it will not remind them. They may focus on all the reasons that they need to stay where they are, doing what they have been doing, because they are afraid that if they get everything that they want, they may not be the same person they have been. There are a myriad of reasons to hold onto the past rather than embrace the future.”

She thought about it for a few minutes, and said, “Do you really want to know what I secretly want?”

I urged, “Yes, tell me?”

She took a deep sigh and said, “I yearn to be abroad, in fact, anywhere besides here. I feel like I am stagnating. I am watching life pass me by, and I am scared that one day I will wake up and be old and my life will be over!”

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  As I listened to the truth being revealed I saw her come to life. She sat up straight, her cheeks flushed with color, and as she smiled she started to glow. She didn’t know her direction yet, but telling her truth was the first step in freeing herself.

As we explored her options, she started to “Spark” with ideas. When I asked her about her first step, she knew it was downsizing her possessions to the bare essentials. When I asked her to close her eyes and envision a life that she would like to live, she started to dream a life of travel and service. She recalled relatives overseas who had extended invitations for her to come and visit. She started to get excited about the possibilities. Her focus had shifted from clinging to what she knew to opening up a world of infinite possibilities. She had the glow and became willing to grow.

Messages are like that. They are irrational, illogical, and unreasonable. They often make no sense, but they feel right. If you are disconnected from your feelings, it is impossible to feel the

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  rightness of the message. Listening to your messages is like operating from a very different reality. When you live life listening to the messages, you separate yourself from the confused mainstream. Messages don’t fit into the scientific, rational, analytic system. When you live life aligned with your higher self, listening to those subtle messages, some people may think you’ve lost your grip on reality. In fact, you may have just discovered your Spiritual GPS.

Spiritual GPS Before the electronic age we used a compass, a device that pointed at magnetic north, so you could find your way when lost in the wilderness. With the electronic age, the Global Positioning System (GPS), which is connected to satellites, became the new norm for finding your way almost anywhere in the world. Now we even have GPS’ on smart phones. What most people don’t realize is that we all have a Spiritual GPS chip inside of us. This guidance system is there to show us the way when we are lost. The fundamental step to make any GPS work is that you have to turn it on. Turning on your Spiritual GPS

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  means that you have to be willing to: 1) listen, 2) trust, and 3) honor your messages about which direction to take on the path of life.

Sometimes it is not clear where you need to be physically. Perhaps your parents want you to live near by, while your work calls for you to live in a foreign country. Perhaps your spouse is yearning to retire to a warmer climate, and you don’t know where you belong. It is at times like these when the message helps guide the way.

Preview of Coming Attractions When I first visited friends in San Francisco, I received a clear message as I crossed the Golden Gate Bridge that someday I would live there. The message was crystal clear and I felt exhilarated. The only problem was that I had so many questions. I wanted to know exactly when, with whom, where I would be living, and what I would be doing. Those answers were not forthcoming and I had to trust that when the time was right, it would be revealed. Once I

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  started listening to my messages, I had to expand my capacity to trust what I couldn’t control.

In the beginning, this was disconcerting to me. As a person who prefers to be in control, I wanted to have all the details nailed down and to have a five-year plan. In the world of messages, it doesn’t work that way. When you are open to them, clues are delivered, and it is up to you to receive them, trust them, listen for the next message and trust that you are being guided by a higher power, however you choose to define that for yourself.

My inner sense was telegraphing something precognitive. I knew something through direct knowing, without any cognitive data to justify the feeling. My knowing was crystal clear to me. I knew something was going to happen in the future before I ever had the right to know the information. It was undeniable.

Years passed and I became involved in various projects and forgot about this message. I

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  received an invitation to come to San Francisco for an advanced training. At the time I was open to the next step and accepted the invitation. When I arrived I had a flash of insight. When I passed over the Golden Gate Bridge, I saw the rainbow and the words that came to me were, ‘You will live here someday!’ I knew that someday had arrived. This was fulfillment of the message that I had received years earlier. I knew that this was the right moment for me to be in San Francisco. The feeling was almost eerie, and I was simultaneously grateful for the guidance.

Messages in the Moment Many years ago, friends who lived in Colorado went skiing. They made arrangements to meet at the mid-mountain lodge for lunch. They were quite late, and since these were very responsible people, all were concerned that something had happened to them.

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  One party in the group said, “I have a strong feeling that they skied to the bottom of the hill and our signals got crossed somehow. They agreed to split up and half of the group skied to the bottom of the hill and the others waited at the mid-mountain lodge.

Within 15 minutes half the group had found the others. The cell phones had not worked and all of their fears had been allayed. They felt happy to have reunited with their entire group. They were grateful for the message to go to the bottom of the hill. It came as a relief to all of them, and once again the message helped them when technology had failed.

There is a strange and inexplicable feeling of rightness with choices that come from within. You don’t know why you are saying something, or why you are doing something, but you know on some level it’s right. Messages are the clues in the scavenger hunt of life. They rarely make sense. They just tell you where to go or what to do, and you’re supposed to trust the message and follow it if you

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  want to win the prize. Whoever said that life was like a scavenger hunt?

Your mind will have a tough time with messages because of all the questions that remain unanswered. Questions like, “How do you know the difference between a message and your mind? What is the difference between a message and just being lazy? How do you know when you are just being selfindulgent? Can’t listening to your messages get you into trouble?” Of course there are responses to these questions, but what the questions are really saying is… “This is so alien from anything I’ve ever been taught that it frightens me. I’m scared of these notices because there isn’t anything to hold on to. Given my upbringing, it seems far out and weird.” After three repetitions of the same message, it’s a good idea to stop, reflect, and pay attention to the message.

*** Your messages are more reliable than any form of technology. When you trust your messages

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  they will never let you down. You have within you the greatest resource to guide your life…your challenge is to trust yourself and it absolutely!

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Chapter 5 Messages Are the GPS on Your Journey "For me at this time in my life I recognize that everything is about moving closer to that which is God. And without a full, spiritual center — and I am not talking about religion, I am talking about without understanding the fullness from which you’ve come you can’t really fulfill your supreme moment of destiny…." —Oprah Winfrey

People use a variety of terms to describe their experience of direct knowing, without facts or information, to back up their right to know. We live in a world that poses the question, “How do you know that?” The answers range from, “I have

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  conducted extensive research,” to “I studied the subject in school,” to “I have consulted with experts,” but all of the answers refer to external references that provided the information. It is risky to answer, “I just know it!” That response is not looked upon with approval because inner knowing, for the most part, is not held as the most credible source.

There are certain words that can pacify the interrogation that demands an explanation for your direct knowledge of something. For instance the word “intuition” is used frequently and often attributed to women. The definition of intuition is an immediate insight, gut feeling, instinct, or illumination without cognitive data or the need to rely on reason. The word “premonition” is defined as a strong feeling, without rational basis, about an advance warning regarding a future event. The word, “gut feeling” is defined as instinct or a guess. The word, “hunch” is defined as an intuitive feeling about something. Both “gut feeling” and “hunch” are acceptable terms used primarily by men in the

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  context of business when they don’t have extrinsic data to justify their decisions.

These words may be used interchangeably and create a blurred understanding since historically, the entire subject of inner knowing has been extremely threatening. As a result, it has never been sufficiently documented. Messages may be similar to intuition, gut feeling, and hunches, but the key components that differentiate “messages” are the following: 1) “Messages” are inner imperatives (not insights) 2) Messages give you a direct order to “do” something 3) The Message is completely out-of-theblue 4) Messages

are

irrational,

illogical,

unreasonable, and inconvenient! 5) They require a stretch or a risk and you won’t want to do it! 6) It is not always clear where the messages come from

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  7) Messages may come from a variety of places: your higher self, angels, spirit guides, souls who have crossed over, or from whomever you refer to as almighty

Two Message Stories from O Magazine: Her little boy found Nothing signaled distress about the laughing 5-year-old child that Maryam Dilakian saw -- except a strange, insistent feeling in her gut. As told to Kate Rockwood:

I was in Jamaica for a wedding, and I felt the pull to volunteer. The resort manager directed me to a few orphanages that might admit visitors, and one reluctantly said that I could come.

The place had three sections, and I ended up spending my time with the infants and toddlers, because I'd heard the bigger kids didn't need help. As I was leaving, I passed three of the older kids running around. One of them was laughing really loudly, and I smiled at him as I walked away.

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  I've never been able to adequately describe what happened next. Outside, the taxi was waiting, at the top of a hill quite far from town, and when I went out someone locked the gate behind me. I opened the door of the cab, put my bag on the seat, and all at once I knew I needed to help the little boy I'd smiled at—he was in trouble.

It made no sense: He'd been laughing when I saw him; he didn't look like he needed me at all. But my heart started to race and I began to feel physically numb. The thought kept coming again and again—I need to help him.

Going back into the orphanage wasn't easy. I had to argue with the driver to wait and then buzz until someone came to unlock the gate. They weren't happy to see me. The school children were outside, and the boy I'd seen—Daniel—was on the ground, looking absolutely pitiful. He was like a different child. I have never in my life fought back tears so hard as at that moment. I fell to my knees and embraced him and I knew instantly, without a

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  doubt: This is my son.

Later I realized that he must have just been punished. On trips that followed, I saw Daniel physically abused when he got in the way. He's a boisterous kid. He runs a lot, he laughs a lot.

I

learned

that

children

in

Jamaican

orphanages normally stay six months, until the court decides they can return to their family or be adopted. But Daniel's file had been lost, so he never had a chance. He lived in that home for three and a half years, standing in a crib, looking at a wall. No music—no nothing. He'd never been out of the orphanage. He didn't even speak.

When I went to the adoption agency, the man said, "You cannot adopt a child that doesn't exist." I showed him Daniel's photo, and said, "Here is this child." It took me six trips to Jamaica to set things right.

Two weeks after Daniel came to live with me

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  in New York City, he started speaking. I tell him this story every day. I don't let myself imagine, What if I'd gotten in the cab? It felt inevitable—he'd always been my son.

Calculating Danger by Stephanie Pearson The scariest thing about intuition is realizing too late that you were right.

To do research for a magazine story, I once spent a few days at a lodge in a remote part of Chile, on Lago General Carrera. After leaving the lodge, I was scheduled to take a puddle jumper to Balmaceda, a town near the lake's opposite shore.

When high winds forced the pilot to cancel the flight, the lodge owner patched together a plan B: His wife would drop me off in the closest village, where an acquaintance would pick me up and shuttle me the final four-hour stretch to Balmaceda. The route would pass through a few towns and two military checkpoints. The rest: empty wilderness.

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  After the woman introduced me to the driver in Chile Chico and waved goodbye, three stocky, good-looking men appeared out of nowhere and jumped into the backseat of the Toyota Hilux. They were bomberos, or firemen, they told me, on their way to a conference in Balmaceda. "Interesting timing," I thought, since it was Good Friday in a Catholic country where all business had ground to a halt for the next few days.

We started driving and the buddies started joking, first about my wedding ring—"I didn't know she was married," one said -- then about my height (I'm 5'10"), then about my hair (I'm blonde). My heart started to beat faster. To distract myself, I flipped open my Lonely Planet guide and landed by chance on the "Women Travelers" section. The first sentence I read: "If you hitchhike, exercise caution and especially avoid getting into a vehicle with more than one man."

A dozen ugly scenarios reeled through my brain. Most of them ended with me in a ditch. My

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  heart was racing and my chest felt tight. I opened my window; I couldn't get enough air. And that's how it went for the next hour, the men joking while I tried to breathe and wondered if today was going to be my last day on Earth.

As we rolled into the first town, I said I had to go to the bathroom, but after I hopped out of the truck, I told the driver I'd decided to stay in Los Antiguos for the night.

"¡Buen viaje!" I said, backing away as the bomberos hurled a tirade of unflattering Spanish, cursing me, the ungrateful gringa. The truck idled there for a few minutes, as if the men were deliberating what to do, then squealed off.

After spending the night with a local family, I made it to Balmaceda the next day. Maybe the delay was silly. Maybe I'd caved in to an irrational fear and offended four harmless men for nothing. I'll never know. All I could do at the time was act on my internal SOS signals. Had I ignored them and wound

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  up in trouble, my prescient notions would have proved true. But by then it would have been too late.

There is no wrong way to experience your Higher Self’s guidance, however, it is important to pay attention to the subtleties of your inner world until you are sure you can discern it. Then you can learn to listen to your guidance without confusing it with your mind, or your sub-personalities. Messages are the Spiritual GPS on your journey through life. They are similar to a “Scavenger Hunt,” a game with two or more teams. Each team receives various riddles with clues embedded in them. The clues are intended to guide you to specific items that you need to locate and collect. The objective of the game is to figure out the riddles, to decipher the clues, and then to locate and collect as many designated items on the list as possible, within the time limit. None of the players know what is on the list until after the game has begun. No one knows where they must look for the riddles, nor do they easily understand the clues or know where they must look for the items on the list. In order to successfully play the game, you need

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  to rely on each teammate, access your intuition, think outside the box, be creative, and very efficient with your time. This scavenger hunt is similar to life in that you are allotted a certain amount of time in which to figure out the game of life. You receive information that is confusing and appears at times to be in riddles. By deciphering the information and the clues you then determine what you are supposed to do with your life, with whom you are to partner; then you are to locate the items that you are supposed to amass before the game is over… which is transition or death in the game of life.

*** You have everything you need to make your life everything you have always dreamed it could be. Your message acts as your GPS steering you in the right direction; you can trust it absolutely. Your inner guidance system is fully functional, needs no batteries, and will never let you down.

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Chapter 6 When You Ignore the Message “The fact that science led me to spiritual insight is appropriate because the latest discoveries in physics and cell research are forging new links between the worlds of Science and Spirit.” —Dr. Bruce Lipton

Jack had been a career banker, and even defined himself as Mr. Bank because of his dedication. At a certain point the bank reorganized, the culture changed, the focus and values of the employees also changed, and Jack found himself feeling estranged in an environment that he used to consider his domain away from home. Around the same time, Jack received a new job function that was not exactly his choice; his own staff became increasingly distant, cold, and preoccupied with What Is Your Message?

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  themselves and their own jobs. He started to feel isolated and alone but since he was disconnected from his feelings at that time, he couldn’t explain his intense discomfort and as a result did his best to ignore it. Being the good, responsible banker that he was, he continued to do his job with a happy and positive

attitude,

not

noticing

that

he

was

disconnecting from himself and his inner barometer.

In 2013, he realized that he wasn’t feeling well and decided to visit the company doctor. Even then he was sure that he had a virus that he attributed to his lack of energy and initiative. After his examination, he was told to go home and rest for four weeks. Jack communicated his doctor’s advice to his manager as well as his department then he called his wife to tell her about his possible burnout. He left for an appointment and returned home around midnight.

The following morning he went to the mailbox, took the newspaper out as he routinely did each morning, and sat down to read the news of the

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  day. As he opened the paper, he was in shock. He looked at the headline but couldn’t understand the words. He recognized the letters and could spell them, but wasn’t able to understand what they meant. This had never happened to him before and it was alarming to say the least. He immediately called his doctor and was admitted for a series of tests. The doctor’s suspicion was accurate: Jack was experiencing a severe burnout.

Jack

tried

to

maintain

all

of

his

commitments since at his very essence he is a truly accountable individual. He was excessively busy with his work, various committees, networking, his mother, and his children. His behavior was always rational and result-oriented. Feelings were not important to him and as a result, were not on his radar screen. He was also committed to continuously showing up as Mr. Perfect Banker who had infinite patience for others, but exhibited none for himself. At some point he realized that he wasn’t Mr. Perfect Banker anymore. He lost all of his energy by giving it to everyone else and neglecting himself.

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  behavior was incongruent with who he was, but he didn’t see it coming. He became outer-centered, focusing on his responsibilities and tasks and completely dropping himself out of the equation. He had no time for his own needs and kept himself occupied with running from one meeting to the next commitment, to the next committee meeting without a moment to reflect on his choices or actions. It was at this time that he also lost contact with his wife. In hindsight, he realized that all of his energy drained away and he was completely clueless.

Upon reflection, he realized that the imbalance in his energy level started many years earlier, and he had continually ignored the signals. The definition of “Burnout” as told to Jack was a total physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion that occurs over an extended period of time; it is brought on by excessive and prolonged stress that occurs when you feel unable to meet constant demands; you feel overworked and undervalued. Because the condition is cumulative over a long period of time, it is similar to the frog that is placed in a large pot of

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  room temperature water. The pot is placed on the stove and the burner is turned on. The frog doesn’t notice that the water temperature is increasing until after he is cooked. When the person is burned out, he has become so disconnected from his feelings, his signals, and his indicators of well being that he doesn’t understand what has happened to him until it’s too late.

After

Jack

saw

his

doctor

and

the

physiological aspects had been resolved, he then saw a psychologist who helped him get back to work. The symptoms had been addressed, but the cause had never been dealt with. After three years back at the bank, Jack lost all of his self-confidence and was again in a crisis. Then, upon his new manager’s recommendation, Jack visited with an MMS Coach. After several sessions he made the choice to take our MMS Coach Training where he learned about himself, his needs, his feelings, how to be totally honest, to pay attention to what he needed, and to speak up for himself and communicate his needs.

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  Jack is fully functional and healthier than ever before, upon reflection, however, he realizes that had he not had a burnout, he might never have learned some very key lessons.

He learned to always listen to himself, to notice and honor his feelings, his values, and his “messages.” He learned that he had to be willing to change his behaviors to get his life back. Identifying his true self, his needs and connecting with his essential self was perhaps the most valuable lesson of all. As he explains it, he needed the burnout to find his authentic self. His loved ones are grateful that he is alive, healthy, happy, productive, and most of all able to avoid this situation in the future. *** The lesson will be learned even if it must knock you down. All things are possible when you believe in miracles. All challenges can be overcome with a vision, support, and a lot of hard work. When you believe in yourself, in the power within, and in unlimited possibilities… extraordinary things occur!

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Chapter 7 Messages Ask the Seemingly Impossible “It is through science that we prove, but through intuition that we discover.” —Henri Poincare

Jean-Dominique Bauby’s Story The Diving Suit and the Butterfly Jean-Dominique Bauby lived with his wife, Sylvie, his eleven-year-old son Theophile, and his nine-year-old daughter Celeste, in a suburb of Paris. As the chief editor of Elle magazine, his life was demanding. Between his family, his job, his travels, his hobbies, and his sports, he barely had time to fit everything in.

On a gray December day in 1995, Bauby was driving on an icy freeway when, without any

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  warning, he suffered a massive stroke. He managed to stop his car and send Theophile for help before he collapsed in the backseat.

Three weeks passed before he regained consciousness from his coma. Upon awakening, he found himself drastically different from the healthy, robust man who had been driving his car to Paris. The stroke had severely impacted him; he was unable to speak or move—his entire body was paralyzed. He noticed that he could control only the movement of his left eyelid. Fortunately, his brain and his memory were intact and functioning perfectly.

His message was to write a book, even though it seemed impossible. Determined to find a way to communicate, Bauby set out to write an entire book by dictating with his left eyelid.

Le

Scaphandre et le Papillon—The Diving Suit and the Butterfly—is a poetic and imaginative voyage through the mind of a man whose thoughts are trapped in a paralyzed body. He wrote, “When the

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  diving suit becomes less oppressive, the mind can flit about like a butterfly.”

Bauby met with Claude Mendible for threehour daily sessions in his hospital room as he blinked out his text, letter-by-letter, using a special alphabet designed for the blinking of one solitary eyelid.

The 137-page text is the result of over

200,000 blinks. His keen literary mind turned him into a cosmic traveler, whirling through time and space. While nurses and aides exercised his inert limbs, childhood memories, fiction, and unfulfilled fantasies danced in his head. The legacy Bauby leaves us with is: Nothing is impossible.

Janine Shepherd’s Dream Janine

Shepherd

uncommon dreams.

has

long

pursued

While her hometown of

Sydney is a place of surf and sun, Janine found her passion on snow.

A champion athlete, she was

determined to win her country’s first medal in the unlikely sport of cross-country skiing. She said that she “Wanted to show the world that an Aussie could

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  ski—could be the best at winter sports.” Tragically, her unusual dream suddenly ended during a training bike ride when a truck hit her bicycle. The accident left Shepherd with a broken back and neck, nearly killing her. Hospitalized for five months, the elite athlete could no longer feel her legs and feet. They told her if they did not operate she could be in a wheelchair the rest of her life. If they did operate there was a small chance she might walk again with a walking frame. Janine survived several surgeries and forced her body to move again.

As she was

stretching her limits, she received a new message that fueled her tedious recovery. “It was a crazy thing. I’ve never wanted to fly in my life, but I looked up and I thought, that’s it, if I can’t walk, I might as well learn to fly!”

Incredibly, just six weeks after her release from the hospital and still wearing a body cast, Janine took her first flying lesson. Janine recalls, “I received some strange looks, this skinny thing, limping around the place, covered in a big slab of

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  plaster. People looked at me and thought, who is she kidding?”

Remarkably, she controls the plane’s pedals without being able to feel her feet. She relies on upper leg strength and plenty of concentration. Even with her physical limitations, Janine wanted more than a private pilot’s license; she earned a commercial license, and then became a flight instructor. Still, the sky was no limit; she decided to learn aerobatic flying, and she became so proficient that she teaches that as well. Flying, she says, is freedom: “I love the feeling of being able to do whatever I want to do, dancing in the clouds.”

Doctors said she would probably never walk or have children, but, determined to prove them wrong, Janine accomplished both. Today she and her husband Tim have two daughters and a son. The woman who set out to represent her country at the Olympics

has

inspired

Australia

with

the

perseverance and courage that defines a champion. The Ultimate Gift: Bernard’s Breakthrough

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  In the spring of 1992, we faced our worst fears. Lisa, our eldest daughter had just turned 18. She was officially a woman, being launched into the spring of her life when we were told that her leukemia had relapsed. This was far from the ideal birthday present. I believed we had already conquered this battle. Now it reared its cruel and ominous head in the middle of our celebration of life. I kept asking, “Why now? Why Lisa? Why our family?”

The doctors told us that a bone marrow transplant was required. This is an extremely painful and difficult ordeal for both patient and donor. The questions chased each other around my brain. ‘Where would we find a donor? Would Lisa survive the trauma and pain? How costly would the procedure be? Could we afford it? Would there be enough for the other five children who also needed our resources?’ These questions swirled from my brain to my wife’s and back again. Questions without immediate answers are the ones that

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  torment and cause sleepless nights. I wondered what could happen to turn this crisis into a blessing.

One evening as I sat reading in my study, our youngest daughter, Eva peeked her head in the door. “Dad, may I have a moment with you?”

“Of course, Eva, what’s on your mind?”

“I was wondering, I have this strange message that has come to me; I mean… I’m young and well, maybe my marrow is a match for Lisa?”

I couldn’t believe my ears, “You are volunteering to go through this painful process to save your sister’s life?”

“I don’t know if I’m a match, but I’d do anything to help Lisa.”

I stared at Eva for the longest time and then said, “Let’s talk to the doctor tomorrow. We’ll have you tested to see if it is possible. This is very kind

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  and courageous of you to offer. Thank you.” As I sat there, I felt blessed to have children who would generously offer their own pain and suffering to save their sibling’s life.

The next day, Eva was tested and found to be the perfect match for Lisa’s bone marrow. This was the second gift. Next, we had to prepare for the grueling surgery. Preparations were extensive, and day-by-day.

Physical,

mental,

and

emotional

adjustments filled our life with the focus of a possible miracle. The day before the procedure, we stood outside the radiation room, talking to Eva on a microphone, while Lisa underwent total body radiation. I felt tightness in my throat, a knot in my stomach, burning in my eyes, and a surreal feeling surrounding my head, as if I couldn’t believe this was really happening to our family. Finally the day was upon us. There it was: the special treatment room where we could only enter one at a time. Dressed in surgeon attire, disinfected and scrubbed, I entered the room. I sat and watched the stream of life giving cells extracted from Eva’s hip bone trickle

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  down a tiny plastic tube in the intravenous valve attached to Lisa’s shoulder. The doctor’s voice broke the deadening silence, “It will now take 100 critical days before we will know if the bone marrow transplant was successful.” Almost four months before we could relax, breathe easy, and hopefully give thanks. This was another step in a long, slow process that would test our faith, hope, and love.

It was summer when the doctor phoned with the news. As I held my breath and braced myself, the words came through the phone, “It has been 100 days. The BMT was a success. Your prayers have been answered.” I dropped the phone as the whole family rushed in to find out what had happened. I couldn’t speak. My wife grabbed the phone and the doctor repeated the message. She told all the children that Lisa was going to live! Hugs, tears, kisses, and cheers rang out from our home.

As we sat in the garden, we popped a bottle of champagne and as the cork flew high into the sky, we all saw the silhouette of a huge eagle fly over our

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  heads. This is a rare sight in Belgium. The eagle is a sign of freedom from the worst fearful experience one can ever experience in life. Our family was spared. We were blessed, and because of her message, Eva gave her sister the greatest gift there is, the gift of life!

Mollie’s Indomitable Spirit Mollie, was raised with four brothers and four sisters in the Tigre province of Ethiopia. Her mother was a homemaker and her father was a successful businessman who was determined that his daughters should be well-educated.

This was an

unconventional idea in Islamic society. Mollie’s father was criticized at the mosque for those beliefs. The family was upper class, and Mollie’s parents arranged her marriage to a man twice her age. At fourteen, Mollie became a bride.

In Islamic society, women are to obey their parents

and

independence

husbands. and

Mollie’s

freedom

wishes

were

for

considered

shameful. Not only that, but Mollie was pregnant.

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  “One night,” she explained, “I didn’t want him [her husband]. I said, ‘I don’t want this’ and I cried. I moved in with my parents and I asked for a divorce. The Islamic court did not want to give it to me. So I told them, ‘If you don’t give it to me I will convert to Christianity.’ They said, ‘You bluff. You threaten. Islamic society favors the man.’ I did not give up. Two years later, I finally got my divorce.”

Mollie had a son, Ali, whom she gave to her parents to raise—a cultural tradition with the first born. At sixteen, Mollie moved to Addis Ababa, the nation’s capital, to live with her oldest brother and to attend school. There her life changed. “I wanted to do things like the Christians—they had so much freedom. Women did not have to cover up [in traditional clothing]. They drove cars and went dancing. I wanted to be independent like them.” When her father would visit, she could not accompany him to the mosque because she had humiliated him… by wearing lipstick! Mollie was banished from her brother’s house for her Western

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  lifestyle. Her family shunned her. She was regarded as “uncontrollable.”

“My brother was told to kidnap me and bring me home so that I could be punished,” Mollie says. “The King kills his daughters in my culture.” Mollie, thank goodness, was never kidnapped. Instead, she started a photography business and drove a Fiat around the capital. Ultimately, her family became impressed with her business acumen and loaned her money to open a camera shop. “I was rebellious, like a butterfly. I did everything. It was shocking to Islamic people. I was condemned. My behavior was unacceptable.”

Mollie did well with her camera store, and in time, her son came to live with her. But Mollie became concerned with a deformity in Ali’s hip. Ethiopian health care was mediocre, so Mollie decided to leave the country to find better medical care for her son.

Rex Fleming, then a faculty

member at Brooks Institute of Photography, was shooting commercials for Ethiopian Airlines when

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  he met Mollie. Mollie believed if she could get out of Ethiopia, she could somehow make arrangements for Ali to join her. Fleming offered Mollie a one-year scholarship to Brooks, and she accepted.

“I had to bribe everybody to get out of the country,” she recalls. “It was very difficult; however, I didn’t give up. If I start something, I finish it.” In 1980, Mollie left her twelve-year-old son with her brother and went to Rome to visit friends. She then traveled on to the United States. She was twenty-six.

A year after arriving in California, Mollie sent for Ali, who underwent a series of surgeries. Walking to her job at the Hallmark store, Mollie passed a tall business man. She noticed that he did not take his eyes off of her. “I saw him in the parking lot and I knew in my heart that he would find me,” she says. Robert Ahlstrand was “pretending to be interested in some things for his CPA business.” She recalls, smiling. “He gave me his card and took my phone number. And we met.” They were married eight months later.

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  “I loved him the first moment I saw him,” she says tenderly. “I love him. He is a wonderful husband.” Mollie worked as a bank teller and attended UCSB to study political science. To continue her studies, she needed to be fluent in one language. She returned to Rome, her favorite city, to visit friends and brush up on her Italian. The year was 1988, and Mollie had been married for five years.

In Rome, she had an epiphany. She phoned her husband. “I told him I wanted to stay in Italy and study to become a chef,” she recalls, seemingly unaware that such an announcement would upset most husbands. Ahlstrand reassured his wife and then flew to Rome to see her. “You were meant to be a chef,” Ahlstrand told his wife. “Learn everything you can. We will sacrifice now, and when you come back, we will open a restaurant and live happily.”

Mollie

believes

she

has

succeeded

throughout her life because she never gave up, never stopped striving. She scoffs at the thought of being

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  hindered because of her gender or race. “Look at me,” she says, gesturing to her face and body. “I am black, Ethiopian, Muslim, and a woman. No one held me back. No one can hold you back either. If you want, you can go to space. You can be an astronaut. You can! Or you can be a chef with a successful restaurant of your own!”

Jack Lovick, The Man from Snowy River Jack wrote: “I have always loved horses. Even as a child my passion for the smelly, fourlegged creatures was unbridled. I couldn’t imagine a day without the joy of throwing a leg over my horse and setting off into the country for a brisk ride.

One hot summer day in ‘72, I was out running an errand, when all of a sudden I felt dizzy and sick to my stomach. As I struggled to remain standing, I lost my balance and fell. Each time I tried to stand up, I fell again. I struggled to regain control, and had no idea what was wrong with me.

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  I made it all the way to my car, mostly crawling on my belly, opened the door and forced my heavy body into the driver’s seat. I started the engine with the intent of going home, and found that I couldn’t lift my leg to depress the clutch. When I tried to reach down and lift my leg, I realized that my left arm was useless as well.

With my left side virtually numb, I somehow managed to make it home. I pulled up to my house, turned off the engine, opened the door and promptly fell out of the vehicle onto the pavement, losing consciousness. The next thing I knew, I was being airlifted to a hospital in Melbourne. Through a foggy state, I could hear the hustle and bustle of the paramedics diligently working and my family crying.

Four days of my life were deleted, and when I finally awoke, I found myself in a hospital bed in Melbourne. I could see in the faces of my family and friends that things were not going well. I was soon informed that I had suffered a massive stroke and would be partially paralyzed; my life would be

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  drastically changed, and I would never ride again. I was devastated.

After weeks of grueling physical therapy, I returned home and was able to walk with assistance of a cane, but I was still strictly forbidden to return to my passion. My heart lurched as I gazed at my beautiful horses grazing near the barn. Slowly my oldest stallion trotted over to me and nuzzled his nose against my cheek. I buried my face into his thick neck and gently stroked his velvet coat. It was truly more than I could take.

I called out to my youngest son Danny who was playing near the barn. I instructed him to bring me Bluebook’s bridle and saddle. With a puzzled expression, he fulfilled my request and watched anxiously as I saddled the horse. “But Daddy, the doctor said you aren’t supposed to ride.”

I put down my cane and with my good arm, struggled to mount the horse. After a few frustrating failures, I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and

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  suddenly heard a voice inside say, “You are going to be all right.”

At that moment I knew it was true. This time, with all my might, I managed to successfully mount the horse, and began circling the barn. With every step, my muscle memory became stronger and stronger. Just then my wife came running out of the house yelling for me to stop. Yet as she looked at me, tears began rolling down her cheeks.

Every doctor that saw me claimed my riding days were over. I proved them wrong. I realized that day, thirty years ago, that with the power of passion, anything is possible. It’s true, you really can fall in love with horses.” *** You will always have the choice to listen to a known authority or to listen to you inner wisdom. You may not always trust yourself, however it is your coach who can best guide you back to yourself, your own authority within, who will provide you with the best possible guidance.

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Chapter 8 You are a Perfect Spirit “Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.” —Rumi

You are a perfect spirit. You may not feel perfect, and you may not think you look so perfect, however, you are perfect, just the way you are! Your messages are also perfect…just for you! Your mission in this life is to find yourself, define yourself, respect yourself, listen to your wishes, your preferences, your dreams, trust yourself to become all of who you are, align with your highest possible self, and to fulfill your life’s purpose.

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  dimension of your spirit.

You probably don’t

remember it, but when you were a pure spirit, you had a communication with other more evolved spirits who guided your evolution; you jointly determined the lessons you needed to learn, planned out a strategy that would enable you to learn your lessons, chose the most appropriate family to enable you to learn these lessons, and create opportunities that would best support you learning and evolving into the best possible you. You are guided on your life path by more evolved spirits who are looking out for you, to ensure that you have the opportunities that were intended, and that nothing unforeseen ever gets in your way of learning what you came here to learn. These evolved spirits are called many names, and you have the right to call them whatever feels right to you in your mind, in your heart, and in your spirit. These spirits are doing their very best to communicate with you in any way that you can comprehend, that you will be open to receive, that you will heed and follow.

You arrived on this Earth plane as an infant

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  in search of answers. When you were a tiny baby, you were learning about the Earth plane at the same time that you were letting go of your pre-birth memories. You knew and felt things as a child that may have startled or frightened those around you. Their reactions to your knowledge, dreams, wisdom, capabilities, or insights may have caused the adults around you to discount, discredit, or diminish your inner knowing.

Your growth and development

milestones were celebrated as significant events because you mastered many of the challenges that have been created for humans to conquer.

Your Higher Self will communicate with you in various ways: through intuition, hunches, sudden unexpected life changes, and in moments of clear, undeniable illumination. You may or may not choose to listen or act on those communications, however, it is your physical self that “receives” these messages, just like a text message is received on a smart phone. If you choose to receive and follow that guidance, you have the potential of becoming the physical manifestation of your Divine Self. Because

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  your Divine or Higher Self is an infinite being, your own potential is also infinite.

Your Spirit is the seat of your “natural knowingness, your capacity to know, without direct information or reason, the answers to questions that you have about your life. What career is a match for you? What relationships are appropriate for you? What does your gut tell you about each situation? What direction is right for you? What is the purpose of your life? Your Spirit has the answers to these questions and more.

Your spirit exists within you and provides access to your messages. The experience of this may completely transform the way you live your life and relate to others. It is a master force that guides you through life, along the exact path that you need to follow for your own development. Your Spirit invites you to have your life be exactly the way you want it to be. It has the power to turn dreams into reality, to fulfill your relationships, and to fulfill your destiny.

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  The Source is another word for God, the Almighty, Universal Wisdom, or the Prime Mover. When you are in alignment with your spirit, you experience a part of The Source within yourself. You feel your own perfection and the perfection of everything around you. You know what you want, know that you can have it; you are clear about why you are on Earth, and you love and trust yourself and others.

Your Spirit is more accessible to you at certain times than at others. When your feelings are denied, access to your Spirit contracts.

When

feelings are embraced and expressed, access to your Spirit expands.

When your Spirit’s answers are

denied or rejected, access diminishes.

When

answers are received and acted upon, your Spirit is recognized as precious and your access to it expands.

Your Spirit has complete trust in its own choices and complete trust that whatever happens in your life is exactly what is supposed to happen. There are no mistakes, even if circumstances do not

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  look ideal. When you live in tune with your Spirit, you know that you can make no mistakes…you can only learn lessons.

Your Spirit provides a calm

certainty that indicates that you are doing exactly what you are meant to be doing; this deep sense of trust enables you to be the center of your own reality.

Your Spirit is that part of you that is certain, trusting, and knowing.

Being in tune with your

Spirit creates the experience of calmness, serenity, and ‘at oneness’ with yourself. It is that whole, pure, perfect part of you that is a reflection of the Almighty or Ultimate Source.

In order to do all of this, you must allow your Spirit to guide you on your journey. Your Spirit will illuminate your path with guidance from the non-physical plane, from those on the other side of the veil, and from your Spiritual DNA. In order for your Spirit to guide you, you must be open to your clarity, inner knowing, and wisdom.

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  Just as the feelings connect you with your Spirit, your Spirit connects you with The Ultimate Source.

Every part of you evolves, becomes

complete, whole, and connected to The Ultimate Source of the universe. One of the essential ways this communication occurs is through the messages.

Be Still and Tune In To Yourself When you are quiet you can hear the rhythm of your soul. Find time each day to listen to your Spirit. Find time to be still and drink in the silence. Find time to tune into your essence and honor who you are. It is in the stillness that you will connect with your Spiritual DNA, your inner compass… your metaphysical GPS. Turn off the noise of the world and be peaceful, listen to the quiet and connect with yourself.

After you have quieted the voices of your mind, you will then be capable of hearing the messages coming to you. These gentle whispers are guidance from your higher self as to what is next in your spiritual evolution. The messages come in a

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  variety of forms: flashes of insight, synchronistic occurrences, images, words in the form of tasks to be accomplished, and suggestions from people who dearly care about you.

When you are fully present in the moment, there is quiet between your ears. You can hear what is happening around you. You can observe what is right in front of you. You can feel what is happening in your body, in your emotions, and in the people near you. You can be fully conscious of what is happening inside of you and outside of you at the same moment. You are open to receive messages from the universe. You trust yourself, the universe, and your messages to provide guidance for the next choice on your path. Be mindful of how you are, with a quiet mind, connected with yourself. When you’re in flow you are in present time, as your authentic self, tuned in to what is happening at the moment, allowing the “messages” to come to you.

Joan of Arc, Never Doubted Her Messages Jeanne d'Arc was born in 1412 as the

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  youngest of five children, who never learned to read or write, but spent a great deal of her childhood in prayer and contemplation. At thirteen, Jeanne started to hear voices that guided her actions. At first it sounded like one voice, then a blaze of light accompanied it, and later she could discern individuals and angels who spoke to her. She recognized St. Michael, St. Margaret, and St. Catherine among others.

By May, 1428, her voices or messages became insistent urging her to go to Charles VII, dressed as a male, offering to fight the English on behalf of the French King. Her voices told her where the sword she was to use to save Orléans had been buried. She fought courageously on behalf of France, won the battles, drove the English out of the French territory, and won back France. Subsequently, she was the victim of treachery within the Catholic Church, was sold to the English, imprisoned, and at nineteen years old, burned as a heretic. It wasn’t until 1909, that Joan of Arc was finally declared a saint.

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  It doesn’t matter if you are a fan of St. Joan or not, the point is that she had the courage to trust her visions, messages, and voices and to follow them no matter what. She trusted her higher self, the guidance she was receiving, and never doubted the source. She is a source of inspiration. Regardless of her short life, she fulfilled her mission.

Millions of people have discovered that they have a Higher Self. They believe there is an omniscient source of intelligence guiding their lives with meticulous care and wisdom. The Higher Self is navigating the right people and situations into view for the highest and best good of all, and perpetually trying to communicate directly through synchronicities, visions, and dreams. Several films on this topic are: The Adjustment Bureau (2011), Bruce Almighty (2003), Defending Your Life (1991), All of Me (1984), Heaven Can Wait (1978), and Oh God (1977).

Those who make an accurate, stable connection with their Higher Self truly awaken the

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  genius within—tapping into a limitless reservoir of creativity, intelligence, and flawless guidance which is available to each and every person. Many artists, poets, musicians, and inventors receive their inspiration

for

their

most

brilliant

work

spontaneously, in sudden bursts of inspiration that arise mysteriously—often in the middle of the night. Yet, few are able to reliably access this ability—it comes and goes, seemingly without any advance warning.

Whether you call these messages, visions, intuition, gut feelings, or hunches they are your connection to your Higher Self, and they will help you make sense of what can often be perceived as a very confusing world.

When we talk about your Higher Self, it may conjure up a variety of images of some angelic, mystical beings located in a far away place. Though there is a small amount of truth to that image, the Higher Self is a lot more physical and local than most people think. This is the unseen part that helps

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  to get us to where we need to be—the part that is a manifestation. The Almighty acts as a guide, counselor, best friend, parent, and many other aspects depending on what we need at any given moment.

Every single one of us has this Spiritual DNA that holds the code to our personal evolution. This Spiritual DNA exists in every single atom of our beings, physical and energetic. The amount of information that this Spiritual DNA carries is extraordinary, covering every non-physical aspect of who we are, what we are doing here, every lifetime we’ve ever experienced, as well as all “potentialities” of what we are meant to become.

The main function of our Higher Self is to help us gain access to the information that resides within this Spiritual DNA. Any answer to any question we could ever have, could be answered by it. Every problem can be solved and every obstacle can be overcome. The inner voice, spirit guide, best friend, mother, father, tour guide, entertainment

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  director, and so much more, all rolled into one very magnificent inner guide. This inner guide, let’s refer to it as a female, is not only part of us, she is at the core of our being. We need only to become aware of her and ask for assistance. She is waiting for us to call upon her and will never leave us.

If the essence of spiritual intelligence is shifting to Higher Self consciousness then it's very important to find that nobler inner voice. There are many synonyms for the Higher Self: Inner Wisdom, Spirit Self, Soul, Essence, Eternal Self, Authentic Self, Atman, Buddha nature, the Divine within, the Tao within, and so on. But what does it sound like? How can you know it?

Sometimes the voice of the Higher Self may feel unfamiliar to us—so much so that it is hard to relate to it as "self." It is our truest nature. You can find it by noticing its qualities.

Characteristics of your Higher Self 1. Calm and centered

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  2. Perceiving with compassion 3. Helicopter perspective 4. Win-win outcomes 5. Clear boundaries 6. Positive emotional connection

Overall, our Higher Self looks for what is right, what is good, and it searches for gratitude in everything.

I have found that with time the positive feelings of letting my Higher Self run my life are so good, and the results are so positive, that there is always a constructive feedback loop at work. The more I listen to my Higher Self, the better I feel. I no longer feel tempted to go back to the old days of confusion, doubt, and fear of the outcome.

Both your Higher Self and your Spirit guides are there to help you navigate your way through life, but they do serve different purposes and roles.

Your higher self is your true essence, your

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  soul; it is who you are when the veil that shrouds life is pulled back and you are able to remember exactly who you are and where you came from. Your Higher Self is the part of you that is most conscious. If life were a video game, the incarnated you is the character in the game, and the Higher Self is the game designer sitting behind the scenes with an overview of everything while influencing and guiding the character through the game of life.

Your Spirit guides, on the other hand, were chosen by your Higher Self to help keep you on track as you navigate the maze of your life. They are celestial beings who may or may not have ever been incarnated as humans, but are qualified to guide you. Their job is to follow the boss’s orders and get you from point A to point B with as much learning, growth, happiness, and joy as possible.

Your Higher Self is the CEO of your life, and the Spirit guides are your managers. Your Higher Self is the visionary, the leader, and the one charting the course. Your guides implement the strategies and

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  directives set forth by your Higher Self.

We all have an inner sense of rightness. Rightness about people, places, about when it’s time to do something, about when it’s time to stop or avoid doing something. You’ve no doubt heard of, “a time to plant, and a time to reap… a time to gather stones together.” Well, there is more to this than simply following the seasons. Some people call it a sixth sense. Others call it female intuition, although men have it too. It has been called intuition, inner knowing, inner guide, instinct, but the real truth of the matter is that if and when we are really honest about our inner workings, there is a lot more going on than most of us usually admit.

*** Aligning your guidance with your choices will give you clarity, certainty, and grounding. Trusting yourself is the first step in your journey to the self. If you want to become the CEO of your life, declare it and map out your plan. Let nothing stop you.

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Chapter 9 Game Changing Messages “Nobody taught Picasso how to paint—he learned for himself. And nobody can teach you to be a producer. You can learn the mechanics, but you can't learn what's right about a script or a director or an actor. That comes from instinct and intuition. It comes from inside you.” —Dino De Laurentiis

There are special moments in history that mark a shift in human consciousness, a shift in paradigms, a shift in the way we do things, in other words: a game changer. Because science likes to remain

separate

from

metaphysics,

inspired

moments have been relegated to scientific or technological breakthroughs. This is a way for people who don’t have a spiritual orientation to

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  explain the paranormal so their world is not threatened.

Copernicus and Galileo Copernicus was the first astronomer in 1543 to propose that the Earth revolved around the sun— Heliocentric—rather than the sun revolving around the Earth. In 1564-1642 AD, Galileo Galilei spent untold hours studying the heavens and supported Copernicus’s theory. In 1610 Galileo trusted his message and took the risk to publish The Starry Messenger, a book that invalidated the teachings of the Catholic Church that decreed that the Earth was the center of the universe. Stating the truth as he perceived it, risked his credibility, his reputation, and his freedom. Then in 1632, he wrote The Dialogue Concerning the two Chief World Systems, about the ebb and flow of the tides of the sea. He was ordered to remove all mention of tides from the title because he was proposing in his book how the Earth moved. His book created such a negative reaction that he was tried by the inquisition, accused of heresy, and put under house arrest. His book was

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  placed on the list of prohibited books for two hundred years, until 1835. Both Copernicus and Galileo trusted their messages and were courageous enough to challenge the geocentric paradigm. Challenging the existing paradigm can threaten the establishment and create an enormous amount of negative backlash, especially when the new paradigm is accurate!

Rolihlahla Mandela Rolihlahla Mandela was born in the village of Mvezo, Transkei, on July 18, 1918. Rolihlahla learned at an early age about loss, struggles, and defeat. After losing his father at the age of 12, young Rolihlahla became a ward of the Johnintaba at the Great Place in Mqhekezweni.

In a country and village riddled with war, Rolihlahla would listen to the stories of his ancestors’ valour during the wars of resistance, and soon he dreamed of making a contribution to the freedom struggle of his people.

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  While attending primary school, Miss Mdingane gave him a Christian name, soon Rolihlahla became, who we have all become more familiar with—Nelson Mandela. Young Nelson went on to finish school, and attend college and the University College of Fort Hare. That’s when the message, Nelson first received as a child returned. He will make a contribution to the freedom struggle of his people. Nelson joined a student protest, and was expelled from college.

On his return to the Great Place at Mqhekezweni, the King was furious. He ordered Nelson to return to Fort Hare, and complete college, or he’d force an arranged marriage upon Nelson and his cousin, Justice. Instead they ran away.

In 1942, Nelson continued following his message and entered politics. Promoting equality for all people, he fought tirelessly, before eventually being faced with the Treason Trial of 1956. Nelson Mandela was the champion of the underdog, and

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  fought for justice and freedom in his homeland of South Africa, no matter the sacrifice.

He was imprisoned and spent 27 years in prison for his opposition to apartheid. His time in prison helped transform him from a headstrong activist into a reflective and self-disciplined world statesman. After his release from prison he became the first President of Democratic South Africa and helped heal the wounds of apartheid with his magnanimous attitude to his former political enemies. His message was to be true to himself no matter what.

Kennedy There are few moments in history as defining for a nation and the entire world as May 25, 1961. That's when President John F. Kennedy announced a plan to put a man on the Moon before the decade was over. There was only a small problem: There was no plan. Kennedy was talking in front of a special joint session of the US Congress. Back in NASA's headquarters, James Webb—the

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  space agency's administrator—was probably feeling dizzy, thinking about the titanic challenge that was in front of him and his team—a tiny fraction of the 400,000 people that the Apollo program would employ in its heyday. Even while Webb had previously conceded to Kennedy that it could be done, the fact is that NASA had absolutely no idea how to put a man on the Moon. In fact, they couldn't even begin to imagine the scope of such an endeavor.

The United States couldn't afford a Red Moon. Even worse, Kennedy was feeling the pressure from the Bay of Pigs fiasco, which happened about a month earlier. He needed a big announcement like this, even if it was something completely crazy in retrospect. From that point, NASA had to develop everything from scratch, from the Saturn V rockets and the now iconic lander to entire computers and the method for manned orbital rendezvous. Imagine that. None of that technology existed. None of those procedures were known at the time. While all these things may seem like the most logical thing now, at the time they didn't know much

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  about them. It all was stuff that belonged to science fiction comic books. As President Kennedy said, “We choose to go to the Moon. We choose to go to the Moon in this decade, not because it is easy, but because it is hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to win.”

Since the beginning of time humans have gazed at the Moon from the Earth conjuring up images of what it must be like to journey into space, and to see the Moon close up. When it became a reality, it shattered the old paradigm that humans were Earth bound creatures that would only dream about going to the Moon. Kennedy trusted a message, which seemed crazy at the time, and one that positioned the reality of messages permanently in the history of the world.

Andrew Carnegie, John D. Rockefeller, and

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  Conrad Hilton are famous examples of executives who relied heavily on their messages in managing their businesses.

Conrad Hilton highlights the value of “one of Connie’s hunches.” There was to be a sealed bid on a New York property valued at $159,000. He prepared a bid in that amount, and went to sleep. When he awakened with the figure $174,000 in the forefront of his mind. He quickly changed his bid and submitted the higher figure. He won the bid on the property, discovering that the next highest bid was $173,000. He later sold the property for several million dollars. He trusted his messages absolutely, even though he called them hunches.

Nightingale Changes Nursing Born to an affluent family, on May 12, 1820, Florence Nightingale felt a calling to philanthropy and a ministering to the ill and poor at a very young age. By the time Florence was 16 years old, it was clear to her that nursing was her calling—she believed it to be her divine purpose.

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  However, when Florence approached her parents, and expressed her enthusiasm about her professional aspirations, they were not pleased. In fact, her parents specifically forbade her to pursue nursing—a job that was viewed as a lowly menial labor by the upper social classes. Her parents expected Florence to marry a man of means, not to take up a job, but even at 17, Florence rejected the proposal from Richard Monckton Milnes, a man considered to be a “suitable” gentleman.

Despite her parents continued disapproval, Florence could not ignore her persistent message. In 1844, Florence enrolled as a nursing student at the Lutheran Hospital of Pastor Fliedner in Germany. Returning to London in the early 1850’s, Florence took her first job at Middlesex Hospital for ailing governesses. Florence quickly caught the attention of her superiors, and was promoted to superintendent within a year. At Middlesex, she improved hygiene practices—significantly lowering the death rate.

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  In 1854, after the onset of the Crimean War, Florence received a letter from the Secretary of War, Sidney Herbert, asking her to organize a corps of nurses to tend to the sick and wounded soldiers in the Crimea. Florence could not ignore this calling. Quickly assembling a team of 34 nurses from various religious orders, they sailed to the Crimea only a few days later.

Despite being warned of the deplorable conditions, Florence could not have been prepared. Patients lay in their own excrement on stretchers strewn through hallways. Insects and rodents scurry past them. Basic hospital supplies—bandages, soaps, clean water—were not available. More soldiers were dying from infectious diseases than from injuries incurred in battle.

Not one to back down from a challenge, Florence set to work. She procured hundreds of scrub brushes and asked the least infirm patients to scrub the inside of the hospital from floor to ceiling. Florence, herself, spent every waking hour cleaning

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  the hospital, acquiring supplies, and caring for patients with her endless supply of compassion. Many soldiers took to calling her “the Lady with the Lamp” while others simply called her “the Angel of the Crimea.” Her tireless work reduced the hospital’s death rate by two-thirds.

Florence went on to write several papers regarding matters that affect health care, hospital administration, and the efficiency of nursing. These papers revolutionized civilian and military hospitals and health care systems.

Once the Crimean War was resolved, Florence spent another year and a half at the hospital before finally returning home to London.

To her surprise she was met with a hero’s welcome.

The

Queen

rewarded

Florence

by

presenting her with an engraved brooch that became known as the Nightingale Jewel and by granting her a prize of $250,000 from the British government. Florence invested that money to further her calling;

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  in 1860 she established the St. Thomas’ Hospital— within it, the Nightingale Training School for Nurses.

Twitter’s Founder Trusts His Gut Evan Williams shared the history of Twitter and some of his experiences as the leader. He explained how the biggest business decisions he ever made were based on following his hunches and obeying his gut instincts. Even though most would scoff at such a risky move, Evan said he knew it was the right thing to do. After all, he launched the incredibly successful Blogger service on the same type of hunch and the rest is history.

The same thing happened with Twitter. He was in charge of Odeo when someone suggested an idea for a status update service. That’s when Evan got that same old feeling in his gut. While others would have kept the blinders on during such a critical time in their company’s history, Evan knew from experience that he shouldn’t ignore his hunches. Thus, he took the road less travelled and

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  history repeated itself.

It’s a valuable lesson not just for startups, but also for anyone chasing their dream. Always keep in touch with your instincts and trust your hunches. Even though the bottom line is all about numbers, don’t ignore the power of emotions when it comes to business.

Steve Jobs: Message Magician One of the reasons why Steve Jobs was so unique and successful was his Buddhist and Zen sensibilities. Jobs traveled to India when he was a young man and was quoted as saying, "I began to realize

that

an

intuitive

understanding

and

consciousness was more significant than abstract thinking or intellectual logical analysis... intuition is a very powerful thing, more powerful than intellect, in my opinion. That's had a big impact on my work."

You can see that intuitive sense in Jobs' incredible ability to foresee, then design, then market what end-users will want next. The iPhone is

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  a great example. When Apple was looking for the next big thing after the iPod, Jobs kept one step ahead of the market. He did this by thinking about what could eventually usurp the market leading iPod.

"The device that can eat our lunch is the cell phone." As he explained to the [Apple] board, the digital camera market was being decimated now that phones were equipped with cameras. The same could happen to the iPod, if phone manufacturers started to build music players into them. "Everyone carries a phone, so that could render the iPod unnecessary."

Jobs' Zen training helped him develop his love of simplicity in design. He attributed his ability to focus and his love of simplicity to his Zen training. It honed his appreciation for intuition, showed him how to filter out anything that was distracting or unnecessary, and nurtured in him an aesthetic based on minimalism.

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  "Intuition is everything." Raising awareness and trusting that intuition allows our managers to anticipate the outcome and plan next steps. It's hard to teach intuition, but you can certainly teach people to trust that inner voice and recognize patterns. That trust also allows leaders to take certain levels of risk with a sense of confidence."

A Genius Under the Radar Born in Ulm, Germany March 14, 1879, Albert Einstein was a typical middle-class child. Despite

a

curiosity

for

both

science

and

mathematics, Albert proved to be an academic misfit. Struggling through grade school with low marks, he was a daydreamer, who was eventually kicked out of high school because of his bad attitude. After a failed first attempt at getting into a polytechnic institute, Albert eventually got in, however, he only passed exams by borrowing friend’s notes. Despite his brilliant mind, neither academics nor employment came easily for Albert.

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  At age 23, Albert took a civil servant position in the Swiss Patent Office. For years, his days were spent filling scraps of paper with calculations and equations. Following his repeated calling—his message—that he’d had since childhood, Albert, with limited feedback from academic colleagues, and no real access to scientific literature, spent his days un-riddling the deep mysteries of the physical world.

His thinking came to a head in 1905, in what later became known as Albert’s “Annus Mirabilis”— miracle year. Still working for the Swiss Patent Office, he finished a doctoral dissertation, and published four major articles. His greatest work, that year, came in two papers on what has come to be known as “special relativity.” As part of the theory, Albert worked out the famous equation E=mc2 showing the relationship of mass and energy.

Despite his humble upbringing, and lack of resources in the scientific community, Albert trusted his message and went on to win the Nobel Prize in

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  Physics. He later emigrated to the United States in 1933 where he took on a professorship at the Institute for Advanced Study.

Inner Wisdom Honored in Psychiatry Dr. Judith Orloff, bestselling author of the book, Second Sight: How To Tap Your Inner Wisdom, states, “As a physician, I listen to what my clients say using all my scientific training, I also listen to my gut, and to any flashes or impressions that come to me. When it doesn't feel right, there's a thud in my gut, a feeling of nausea or a knot."

Orloff was raised in a family of physicians where, unscientific subjects were never discussed. Now she proudly teaches other doctors to use their gut sense in patient care, and she recently spoke to the American Psychiatric Association on the subject. She comments, “My psychiatric practice is in Los Angeles so I work with many people in the film industry,” Dr. Orloff said. “One patient, an executive at a major network, was about to sign a business deal that many of his co-workers were supporting. But he

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  got a gut feeling it was the wrong business choice, and he opted not to go forward. It was a good thing he listened to his gut since the man proposing the business

arrangement

turned

out

to

be

an

embezzler.”

Following His Message of Peace and Equality After studying law in London, England, Indian nationalist leader, Mahatma Gandhi received a message to travel to South Africa, in 1893. He spent

20

years

opposing

the

discriminatory

legislation against Indians, before pioneering the Satyagraha—the insistence on truth. He became one of the major political and spiritual leaders of his time, known for his resistance through mass nonviolent civil disobedience. Mahatma’s Satyagraha philosophy remains one of the most potent philosophies in freedom struggles throughout the world today.

Mahatma continued to follow his message throughout the 20th century, returning to India, where he supported the Home Rule movement and

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  became the leader of the Indian National Congress, advocating a policy of non-violent non-co-operation to achieve independence. His goal was to help poor farmers and laborers protest oppressive taxation and discrimination. He struggled to alleviate poverty, liberate women, and put an end to discrimination.

Mahatma Gandhi’s commitment to nonviolence and his belief in living a simple life— making his own clothing, eating a vegetarian diet, and using fasts for self-purification as well as a means of protest—have served as a beacon of hope for oppressed people throughout the world. He embodies his quote, “Be the change you want to see in the world.”

A Revolutionary for Equal Rights Born February 15, 1820, into a family of Quakers, Susan B. Anthony was raised an activist. With a deep sense of justice and morality—Susan’s message came at an early age—she must fight for equal rights for all.

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  At the age of 25, Susan became active in the anti-slavery movement. Meetings at her family farm were often joined by Frederick Douglass and William Lloyd Garrison. In 1856, Anthony became an agent for the American Anti-Slavery Society— making

speeches,

arranging

meetings,

and

distributing leaflets. It was only a matter of time before her image was dragged through the streets, and she was hung in effigy.

In 1863, Susan began to support and petition, not only for the rights of slaves, but also for the rights of women. Despite continued defeat, Susan would not be discouraged. Year after year, she fought for equal pay, an equal work-day, the right to vote, the end of lynchings, an end to slavery, and more.

Susan used her newspaper, The Revolution, first published in 1968, to encourage other working women from the printing and sewing trades in New York, who were unable to obtain positions in male dominated trades, to form Working Women’s

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  Associations. Susan was tireless in her efforts, giving speeches around the country to convince others to support a woman’s right to vote.

Even in her later years, Susan B. Anthony never conceded. Following her message through to her dying days, Susan met with President Theodore Roosevelt, petitioning him for an amendment to give women the right to vote. Susan died the following year. Susan’s dear friend, Anna Shaw, later revealed a letter in which Susan wrote, “To think, I have had more than 60 years of hard struggle for a little liberty, and then to die without it seems so cruel.”

Shaping a Nation Not all messages are religious, or come to a person in childhood. For Lee Kuan Yew, the founding father of Singapore, his message arrived after graduating from law school in Cambridge, UK. Rather than practicing law in the UK, where he was admitted to the English bar, Lee returned to Singapore to do so. He knew he was meant to be in Singapore.

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  Over the next several years, Lee became more

and

more

politically

involved,

before

eventually being sworn in as the first Prime Minister of an independent Singapore on June 5, 1959. Once in office, Lee introduced a five-year plan with a unique vision for the country; he called for urban renewal, construction of new public housing, greater rights

for

women,

educational

reform,

and

industrialization. His plan also called for a merger of Singapore and Malaysia.

As years went on, however, continued tension forced Malaysia and Singapore to dissolve their merger. Lee announced that Singapore would be an independent country. With limited natural resources, Lee quickly spearheaded a program to transform it into a major exporter of finished goods. By the 1980s, Singapore, under Lee's leadership, had a per capita income second only to Japan's in East Asia, and the country had become a chief financial center of Southeast Asia.

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  Following Your Message Across Nations Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu was only a child when she began to hear her calling. Losing her father at the age of eight, young Agnes quickly established a close and extraordinary bond with her mother—a compassionate and pious woman who instilled a deep commitment to charity and philanthropy in her daughter.

By no means wealthy, Drana, the mother of young Agnes, extended an open invitation to the city’s destitute to dine with their family. She’d counsel Agnes, “My child, never eat a single mouthful unless you are sharing it with others.” And when Agnes would question who the people eating with them were, her mother would kindly respond, “Some of them are our relations, but all of them are our people.”

As Agnes grew older, she began to sing in the Sacred Heart choir and was often asked to sing solos; she’d join the congregation on their annual pilgrimage to the chapel of Madonna of Letnice atop

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  Black Mountain in Skopje, and it was on such a trip at the tender age of 12 that Agnes felt her calling to a religious life.

At the age of 18, Agnes Bojaxhiu set off for Ireland to become a nun. She joined the Loreto Sisters of Dublin and took the name Sister Mary Teresa. A year later, Sister Mary Teresa traveled to India where she made her first Profession of Vows. Afterward, she was sent to Calcutta where she taught the city’s poorest Bengali families.

On May 24, 1937, she took her Final Profession of Vows to a life of poverty, chastity, and obedience. As was the custom for Loreto nuns, she took on the title of mother, thus becoming who we know today, as Mother Teresa.

Mother

Teresa

continued

to

received

messages her entire life, though, it wasn’t as simple as becoming a nun. On September 10, 1946, Mother Teresa experienced a second calling that would forever transform her life, and the world. While

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  riding a train from Calcutta to the Himalayan foothills for a retreat, Christ spoke to her. He told her to abandon teaching to work in the slums of Calcutta—aiding the city’s poorest and sickest people. “I want Indian Nuns, Missionaries of Charity, who would be my fire of love amongst the poor, the sick, the dying, and the little children. You are, I know, the most incapable person—weak and sinful, but just because you are that—I want to use you for My glory. Wilt thou refuse?”

Mother Teresa had taken a vow of obedience, however, and could not leave her convent without permission. After nearly a year and a half of lobbying, in January 1948, she finally received approval from the local Archbishop Ferdinand Périer to pursue this new calling. That August, wearing the blue and white sari that she would always wear in public for the rest of her life, she left the Loreto convent and wandered out into the city. After six months of basic medical training, she voyaged into the slums of Calcutta.

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  Over the next fifty years, Mother Teresa followed her message, and the impact was felt the world over. By the time of her death in 1997, the Missionaries of Charity numbered over 4,000—with 610 foundations in 123 countries on all seven continents.

*** In

every

field

there

are

enlightened

visionaries who see the big picture or helicopter perspective; they make the connection between their field of knowledge and the larger connection to universal wisdom and truth. These leaders pave the way for unlimited possibilities.

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Chapter 10 Living Your Messages “Enlightened leadership is spiritual if we understand spirituality not as some kind of religious dogma or ideology but as the domain of awareness where we experience values like truth, goodness, beauty, love and compassion, and also intuition, creativity, insight and focused attention.” —Deepak Chopra

If you are going to live according to your messages, you need to know the following about Messages…they are always positive.

A message may ask you to become a monk or nun, but a message will never ask you to become a suicide bomber. Messages are about honoring life, What Is Your Message?

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  aspiring to be your best self, doing the right thing, and leading others to their highest selves. Whether you believe in an afterlife or not is not essential to listening to and honoring your messages. Since messages are the essence of creativity, inspiration, and innovation, you can hold your messages in the physical light of cause and effect or you can see them in the larger context of the metaphysical plane, whichever is most comfortable.

However, just because you cannot accurately see where your messages emanate doesn’t mean that they are not real or present.

Messages are the connection of the physical with the metaphysical. They provide you with insight about your life that helps you see things in context. They enable you to make sense of a world that seems completely absurd and out-of-control at times. Messages can restore peace and sanity to your life.

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  You may choose to align yourself with your highest self and connect with your messages before you start your day, before you launch your year, or before you make a life altering direction change. How you use messages in your life is totally up to you. There are certain things that are clear.

Messages: 1) Are always life enhancing 2) Are never destructive 3) Never ask you to hurt or damage anyone 4) Always make you a little out of step with normal, average people 5) Require courage 6) Stretch you to your highest self 7) Are a matter of perception, some people will think you are brilliant and others will think you are crazy, but it is your ability to listen to and honor your messages that sets you apart from the vast majority

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  Living in alignment with your spirit is about you living up to your highest standards for yourself and your personal evolution.

Imagine living in a world where your messages were respected by everyone and held in the highest regard. Imagine people encouraging each other to check in with their messages before making a choice or decision. Imagine a world where instead of criticism and judgments people who listen to their messages are met with support, reinforcement, and recognition. Imagine children being honored for the inner knowing rather than being told to behave.

Imagine A World In Which… Parents believe their child must pursue his own Spiritual DNA. Parents support him listening to his inner guidance and honor his natural knowingness.

Parents

see

themselves

not

as

disciplinarians whose job it is to domesticate and mold their child, but as guides who are there to support him in his own development and choices, learning his lessons in his own time, place, and

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  manner.

Feelings are an important part of each

child’s development. We encourage each child to experience and to express his feelings. We listen to him in a gentle, loving, caring way so that it is safe for him to feel whatever he feels. If a child cries, his parents intuit what he is feeling when he is preverbal, and when he is speaking they ask him what he is feeling and what he wants, rather than telling him what is wrong with him, they stop what they are doing and give their full attention to listen to him.

Anything the child feels is honored by the parents. There is no judgment, only encouragement, validation, and support. The child knows whatever he feels is embraced and there are no conditions placed on his parent’s love for him. He knows that he has a right to feel whatever he feels and that no feelings are inherently bad or good. They are simply feelings and, as a human being, he has a right to have them.

Being encouraged and supported in

expressing his feelings allows him to become more and more in tune with his being.

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  Parents allow their children to grow up with their own attitudes and points of view, rather than imposing their own. There is no “right” way that the child should be, no behavior that is “wrong” and no wants that are denied or censured as long as he acts with respect, dignity, and caring toward all. Since each child is allowed to develop according to his inner guidance and to follow his own path, each child becomes his own person. His reality is InnerCentered, rather than Outer-Centered.

He looks

inside himself for his own answers. He doesn’t give his power to those around him. He knows what he feels and believes he has a right to express himself.

The child feels loved, supported, and trusted in everything she feels, and wishes.

She feels

honored and is encouraged to grow according to her own path. She loves and trusts herself, and knows that she is loved and trusted by others. This safety and encouragement allows her to express herself completely and to develop amazing talents and powers. She feels that she is truly a valuable part of

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  the universe, and the result is that she has immense joy in fulfilling her purpose on Earth.

Imagine

an

educational

system

that

encourages teachers to be interested in students as the leaders of tomorrow, and to nurture the child’s innate curiosity. Imagine our schools as warm environments where people enjoy learning together, where they are inspired to discover and pursue their interests, and to grow at their own pace…where each person’s innate genius unfolds and manifests. Imagine the underlying assumption that education is to cultivate the genius in each student and develop their Spiritual DNA and fulfill their potential and purpose. They are encouraged to choose their own course of study and to learn about subjects that fascinate them. They see the practical application of all the subjects they learn. Learning comes from inspiration, rather than from mandates, competition, or the fear of failure.

Students find their own inspiration. Their curriculum has been designed in cooperation with

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  the supportive faculty to help them be fully engaged, to be at choice, and have ownership in their learning process. The teacher provides a conducive learning environment in which the child can develop her skills, talents, and abilities, and discover the world around her. Nothing is predetermined and each child is able to design her educational and subsequent career path. She is not expected to pursue a course of study or a profession because others expect her to do that but rather to let the child’s own genius surface in its own special way.

Imagine guidance counselors guiding the child, rather than telling her what is possible. Counselors will ask the child what he or she yearns to do and support him in doing it. They provide an open, safe environment in which the child can look inside to his Spiritual DNA for his answers about his inner GPS and the direction of his life.

In this atmosphere there is no need for the child to rebel. Anything he wants to do that is legal, moral, and honorable will be acceptable. When he

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  receives a message, he is able to embrace the message and pursue its directive without embarrassment. If he does not want to study one day, he will not be forced to do so. Nothing that demotivates the child will be tolerated. There will be nothing for him to resist. He is valued however he is, so he does not have to put his energy into resisting people who tell him the way he should be.

There will be no

standards of behavior for him to rebel against.

All students will be treated with dignity and respect. Teachers will listen to students, validate, support, encourage, inspire, and honor them. Students will know that they can express themselves and be as brilliant as they are allowed to become.

Imagine that the love and trust that we hold for ourselves allows us to hold others with equal love and trust. Our interactions with others are marked with interest, care, concern, and love. We support other people in having what they want, just as we have been supported in having what we want.

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  Imagine that all our actions result from conscious choices. We choose the career we want to pursue based on what we enjoy doing and the talents we possess. The careers we choose will contribute to other people’s lives. No matter what we do, the joy and dedication with which we do it will be an inspiration to others. Each person gives and receives value from what he does.

Imagine that our relationships with one another are for the purpose of expressing the love we feel and contributing to our own growth and the growth of those around us. Relationships are formed freely, without need or attachment. We interact as full, complete human beings who come to one another and align our energies out of love, connection, desire, and choice. Within the safety and the freedom of the ideal society, a person will transcend what we now perceive as our limits. He will develop new powers and new ways of interacting with other people that will make him seem as different from us as we are from the apes. Not only will we produce geniuses in the arts and sciences,

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  and have enlightened leaders to guide our countries, we will also begin to develop our super human powers.

Imagine that the legacy that passes from generation to generation is the legacy of love. This environment will be one of love and total acceptance. Love is the most powerful force in the universe.

Only

when

people

are

loved

unconditionally and accepted completely can they develop to the level that we are referring to here. We are talking about an evolutionary process that will alter people’s perception of themselves, of others, of the universe, and of The Source. This process will allow us to live lives of joyous, loving, and productive interactions. We will no longer need to expend energy proving that we are approved. We will come from the point of view that we are perfect exactly the way we are. With our own perfection as our ground of being, we will be able to get on with what we are here to do. We will be able to follow our path without distraction. This point of view will alter the face of our planet and, quite possibly, the

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  face of the universe. It will allow us to relate with one another and with other worlds, in a way that brings us to our ultimate goal … reuniting with The Source.

Imagine

a

world

where

people

have

complete access to their Beings, to make choices, to direct their lives and to relate with others.

Each person will be able to devote all of his energy to evolving and becoming more and more in tune with his Spiritual DNA and fulfilling his life’s mission. We will have a deep, warm relationship with ourselves based on love and trust. We will know that our answers are within us; we will not look outside ourselves to see what we should do or how we should be. There will be no self-doubt or self-criticism. We will make choices, moment-tomoment. We will trust those choices and our ability to bring them into reality.

When we reach the point of complete love and trust in ourselves, there will be nothing to do but

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  to reach out to others with that love and trust. The common denominator in our interactions with others will be love. We will want others to have what they want in their lives, just as we have what we want in our lives. There will be no criticism, competition, or censure. We will embrace the Beings of others as we embrace our own.

Imagine that this complete love for and trust in other’s Beings will have a synergistic effect. The more we love and trust ourselves, the more we will love and trust others. The more we love and trust others, the more connected they will become and the more they will love and trust themselves and us. The world will become a place in which people provide for one another a safe, stimulating environment. The result will be that each person’s individual genius will manifest in a way that contributes to others.

It is the nature of humans to look for problems to solve. When one problem is solved, we go on to the next.

In this way, we continually

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  expand ourselves and our environment. When a person has achieved his own individual happiness, and fulfilled his potential he will turn his vision to the world. He will want to share the process of being in tune with his Being and operating from that connected and knowing place inside him with everyone. The world will become a place in which individuals, societies, and governments are directed by Beings, rather than by egos.

There will be no conflict among Beings, because each one has the same ultimate purpose— reuniting with The Source. Individuals may select different paths for themselves, but each is headed toward this same ultimate goal. There will be an alignment of purpose among individuals and governments, so that the entire world is headed in the same direction. This world-wide purpose will be to maintain this planet as a safe place where people can become attuned to their Beings and pursue the goal of individual fulfillment and reuniting with The Source. Imagine that. . . …you were put on Earth for a reason.

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  … there are no accidents. … you have within you the seeds of greatness. … you are here to help others with their challenges. … you are here to help people resolve their differences. … you can help solve the problems that we face

today:

poverty,

hunger,

disease,

corruption, pollution, global warming, and war. …you are wise, powerful, and ethical beyond your wildest dreams and that you can be a part of transforming the world!

Now it is up to you…Love yourself, Trust your choices, and everything is possible!

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Glossary of Terms Thoughts are rational ideas that originate in the left side of the brain and involve cognition, analysis, logic,

evaluation,

understanding,

deliberation,

consideration, reasoning, and speculation.

Feelings are emotions that provide information on how we are on the inside. Feelings may relate to pleasure, pain, or a variety of sensations and reactions to internal and external stimuli

Intuition is an immediate insight, gut feeling, instinct, or illumination without cognitive data or relying on reason.

The Voices of the Mind are involuntary chattering that use data from life experiences in a logical, and reasonable manner to advise, direct, guide, criticize, or attack you depending on whether they are benign or malignant and whether you manage them or not.

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  “Messages” are inner imperatives that give you a direct order to do something that is completely out of the blue. Messages are irrational, illogical, unreasonable, inconvenient, and require a stretch or a risk. The messages can come from our higher selves, from angels, spirit guides, souls who have crossed over, or from whomever you refer to as almighty.

Sub-Personalities are facets of the self that have either been ignored or been developed over time to help you cope with various situations.

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About the Author Chérie Carter-Scott, Ph.D. and ICF Master Certified Coach (MCC) is known as “The Mother of Coaching since 1974.” She started to coach and train coaches before it was a profession. She is the #1 New York Times Best Selling author of If Life is a Game, These are the Rules, published in 40 countries with over 4 millions copies sold, Transformational Life Coaching, a handbook for coaches, Negaholics: Stop Being Negative and Reclaim Your Happiness, and 14 additional titles. Dr. Carter-Scott is Executive Producer of the Coaching Movie, a feature documentary to be released in 2016. Look for it on Youtube. She has been a frequent guest on Oprah and has appeared on numerous international media tours that include: The Today Show, CNN, and dozens of TV, radio, and print interviews. Not only is she a media personality, who has worked on five continents in over 30 countries, she currently trains coaches in Europe, Asia, and North America. Chérie Carter-Scott, Ph.D. is the CEO of MMS Institute, LLC, firm which specializes in custom designed personal development and professional training programs conducted by her team of coaches. She has worked with her clients in the areas of coaching, mentoring, Coaching Supervision, and is being trained by the ICF headquarters to be one of their 100 pre-eminent Assessors worldwide. 182

Chérie Carter-Scott, Ph.D., MCC

  She is a subject matter expert in motivation, selfesteem, customer relations, change management, communication skills, teambuilding, coaching, mentoring, customer service, Negaholics, and leadership training. Her online subscription, MMSVT.com offers intense content of 130 modules, presenting 20 online courses available 24/7. She has been coaching change successfully for over 40 years, individually, in teams, and in Mergers and Acquisitions. Her portfolio of companies: Motivation Management Service Institute, Inc. (MMS), The MMS Worldwide Institute, BV, and Management Coaching Service, LP have reached millions of people worldwide. Some of her Fortune 500 corporate clients include: KPMG, DHL, MGM Resorts, American Express, IBM, Better Homes and Gardens Magazine, FMC, and hundreds of others. After securing her education in theatre arts, and then conducting workshops for over four decades, Chérie combined the two professions and developed a theatrical experience that includes her knowledge of playwriting and musical composition, with her insights of human development to create a musical titled, The Workshop. Carter-Scott is also a wife, mother, scuba diver, and instrument-rated pilot. Websites: www.drcherie.com www.themmsinstitute.com www.mmsthailand.asia

www.themms.com www.mmsvt.com

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