The Power Of Stoicism 2 In 1: How To Move Towards The Beauty Of A Simpler Life - Even In Times Of Stress And Chaos 9781646962570

Table of contents :
Introduction
Chapter 1 - What Is Stoicism REALLY All About?
Chapter 2 - History Of Stoicism, Famous Stoics, And Notables Influenced
Chapter 3 - Cardinal Virtues And Understanding Your Sphere Of Influence
The Cardinal Virtues Expanded
The Dichotomy Of Control
Chapter 4 - What Are A Stoics Roles In Life?
Your Role As A Basic Human Being And A Member Of A Human Polis
Roles Of Circumstance
Roles Which You Have Chosen
Expanding Your Role As A Basic Human Being And A Member Of A Human Polis
Roles Of Circumstance
Roles Which You Have Chosen
Utilizing A Role Model
Chapter 5 - Turning Your Self-Discipline Into Iron
Chapter 6 - Learning The Stoic Mastery Of Emotions
Chapter 7 - Voluntary Hardship: Doing Without To Grow Within
Chapter 8 - Visualizing The Worse To Take Away It’s Power
Chapter 9 - Developing A Stoic Immunity To The Influences Of Others
Chapter 10 - The Material World Is Transient
Chapter 11 - Amor Fati And Memento Mori
Chapter 12 - Stoicism And Its Influences On Religion
Chapter 13 - Does Stoicism Still Apply In The Modern Day?
Chapter 14 - Stoic Psychology: Those Ancient Greeks Were RIGHT
Conclusion
References
Introduction
Chapter 1 Being A Stoic Is Not Easy
Chapter 2 Do The Triage In Life
Chapter 3 Practice Voluntarily Discomfort
Chapter 4 Deal With The Insults
Chapter 5 Simplifying Lifestyle
Chapter 6 View From Above
Chapter 7 Cognitive Distancing
Chapter 8 Empathetic Understanding
Chapter 9 Show Up Every Day
Chapter 10 Never Play The Victim
Chapter 11 Practice Delayed Gratification
Chapter 12 Ignore Naysayers
Chapter 13 Do Less
Chapter 14 Be Grateful For Your Blessings
Chapter 15 You Can Live Happy Anywhere
Chapter 16 Help The Common Good And Maintain Social Relationships
Chapter 17 Accept And Appreciate Yourself
Chapter 18 Amor Fati - Loving Fate Whatever Comes
Chapter 19 Revenge Is Not Necessary
Exercises For Calming The Mind
Chapter 20 Have A Daily Diary
Chapter 21 Other Things That Matter
Be Genuine, Modest And Truthful
Have Patience
Pause And Take A Deep Breath
Otherwise
Speak Little And Well
Choose Your Company Well
Don’t Speak Too Much About Yourself
Speak Without Judging
Focus On Giving Value
Accept The Sacrifices
Ruthlessly Protect Your Time
Live Below Your Means
Keep It Simple, Do Your Job
Memento Mori
Chapter 22 Daily Stoic Routine
Morning Routine
Daily Routine
Evening Routine
More Stoic Exercises To Do Throughout The Week
Chapter 23 Watch Day-To-Day Improvements
Conclusion
References
Reference Sourcebooks
Disclaimer

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The Power Of Stoicism 2 In 1

How To Move Towards The Beauty Of A Simpler Life - Even In Times Of Stress And Chaos By David Dillinger

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Table of Contents How To Be A Stoic Introduction Chapter 1 - What Is Stoicism REALLY All About? Chapter 2 - History Of Stoicism, Famous Stoics, And Notables Influenced Chapter 3 - Cardinal Virtues And Understanding Your Sphere Of Influence The Cardinal Virtues Expanded The Dichotomy Of Control

Chapter 4 - What Are A Stoics Roles In Life? Your Role As A Basic Human Being And A Member Of A Human Polis Roles Of Circumstance Roles Which You Have Chose n Expanding Your Role As A Basic Human Being And A Member Of A Human Polis Roles Of Circumstance Roles Which You Have Chosen Utilizing A Role Model

Chapter 5 - Turning Your Self-Discipline Into Iron

Chapter 6 - Learning The Stoic Mastery Of Emotions Chapter 7 - Voluntary Hardship: Doing Without To Grow Within Chapter 8 - Visualizing The Worse To Take Away It’s Power Chapter 9 - Developing A Stoic Immunity To The Influences Of Others Chapter 10 - The Material World Is Transient Chapter 11 - Amor Fati And Memento Mor i Chapter 12 - Stoicism And Its Influences On Religion Chapter 13 - Does Stoicism Still Apply In The Modern Day? Chapter 14 - Stoic Psychology: Those Ancient Greeks Were RIGHT Conclusion References

Practical Stoicism Introduction Chapter 1 Being A Stoic Is Not Easy Chapter 2 Do The Triage In Life Chapter 3 Practice Voluntarily Discomfort Chapter 4 Deal With The Insults Chapter 5 Simplifying Lifestyle Chapter 6 View From Above Chapter 7 Cognitive Distancing Chapter 8 Empathetic Understanding Chapter 9 Show Up Every Day Chapter 10 Never Play The Victi m Chapter 11 Practice Delayed Gratification Chapter 12 Ignore Naysayers Chapter 13 Do Less Chapter 14 Be Grateful For Your Blessings Chapter 15 You Can Live Happy Anywhere Chapter 16 Help The Common Good And Maintain

Social Relationships Chapter 17 Accept And Appreciate Yourself Chapter 18 Amor Fati - Loving Fate Whatever Comes Chapter 19 Revenge Is Not Necessary Exercises For Calming The Mind

Chapter 20 Have A Daily Diar y Chapter 21 Other Things That Matter Be Genuine, Modest And Truthful Have Patience Pause And Take A Deep Breath Otherwise Speak Little And Well Choose Your Company Well Do n ’ t Speak Too Much About Yourself Speak Without Judging Focus On Giving Value Accept The Sacrifices Ruthlessly Protect Your Time Live Below Your Means Keep It Simple, Do Your Job Memento Mori

Chapter 22 Daily Stoic Routine

Morning Routine Daily Routin e Evening Routine More Stoic Exercises To Do Throughout The Week

Chapter 23 Watch Day-To-Day Improvements Conclusion References Reference Sourcebooks

Disclaimer

How To Be A Stoic

Little-Known Tips On How To Cut Through Distractions And Desires To Become A Better Human Being By David Dillinger

Introduction These days it seems like the world is moving too fast. You can chase happiness, but there is always one more hurdle, one more goal, and worse, there is always someone reminding you that you aren’t doing things right. The funny thing is that your critics and detractors seem to be just as lost as you, and despite their criticisms of your life, they sure do ask you for advice a lot. So, let’s analyze the logic. You give great advice but find that it is almost impossible to apply to yourself. Let’s say that the reason is anxiety and the fast pace of life, keeping you distracted and making it hard to apply your own wisdom. By this logic, in a way, you already know what to do. You need a framework. A change in perspective that will allow you to not only apply the wisdom that is already inside you, but to grow it. You need to take back control of your life. Stoicism can teach you how to do exactly that. How powerful are its teachings? Why should anything that we say be any different from any other books that you have read? Because Stoicism has passed the test of time. It’s been around for 300 years before the birth of Christ, and its lessons are so powerful that they have even influenced religion over the centuries, continuing into the modern day where it influences successful entrepreneurs and celebrities. We’ll go into detail on that later, but sufficed to say with Stoicism you will be able to teach yourself to master the following disciplines:

How to recognize what you can and cannot control How to develop an eye for the ‘bigger picture’ so you no longer feel ‘lost’ in life How to master your past instead of being chained to it How to become immune from the critiques and insults of others How to lose your fear of death and to understand what the death of others truly means so that it doesn’t cripple How to let yourself be happy This sounds like a tall order, but there is more, and we will expound on it in the first chapter. We realize that you are probably skeptical but consider this: You are about to begin a journey on embracing a philosophy that been helping people to achieve these things for more than 2000 years . The reason that Stoicism is still valid and still practiced in the modern day is just simple common sense. ‘If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.’ While that’s a crude way to say it, the point is still valid. Those ancient Greek philosophers found a life-strategy in the Stoic philosophy that people keep coming to again and again. We can’t promise you that you will learn it overnight, of course, but we can say that if you apply yourself to master even the basic tenets of Stoicism, then this philosophy is going to be a gamechanger. The words of the ancient Greek philosophers that we have collected for you will not only change your perspective; they will change your life. So, let us begin this journey together now. You’ve waited long enough to take control of your life, and no amount of money ever bought another

minute of it. We’ll start from the beginning...

Chapter 1 - What Is Stoicism REALLY All About? Founded in ancient Athens, Stoicism is a Hellenistic school of philosophic thought which enables you to govern yourself completely. Among its core principles, Stoicism teaches us that virtue is the highest level of goodness and that it may be achieved through knowledge. Further, that one should live in harmony with the divine Reason (which we will explore in more detail later, at this point, we’ll just state that it is strongly associated with what we call Fate and Providence). While it is an ancient school of thought, it is hardly ‘dead wisdom’, as many are living by its principles in this modern-day and age. Ryan Holiday, author of ‘The Obstacle Is the Way’, summed it up nicely when he said : “Stoicism as a philosophy is really about the mental game. It is not a set of ethics or principles. It is a collection of spiritual exercises designed to help people through the difficulty of life by managing emotion; specifically, nonhelpful emotion. Stoicism doesn’t rescue you so much as train you to manage unproductive emotions and thoughts, beginning by bundling up, or triaging, your concerns.” [1] So, what exactly does this mean? In brief, Stoicism enables you to gain control of yourself by teaching you the differences between what you can and cannot change. This is extremely important to your happiness. How much energy is wasted in worrying about things that we cannot change? A Stoic learns to discern the difference so that they may take complete control over all of the things which they CAN change . When you get in the habit of thinking like this, then there is nothing that can stop you. For example, just a few of the things which the Triage can inure you to and teach you are as follows:

Loss Of A Loved One - You can learn the secret reasons why a body is not owned, only loaned. [2] The Opinions Of Others - How to discern actual criticism from cruelty, to grow from the former and ignore the latter. [3] Illness - Given a proper understanding of nature, there is no fear of death or illness. Failure To Understand Where You Fit In Life - Learning to take the ‘View from Above’ as taught by Marcus Aurelius helps you to fully understand your place in the community and life in general. [4] Who You Should Associate With To Grow - Many people in life only drag us down. Stoicism can teach you who to associate with in order to flourish and to grow. [4] Resistance To Temptation - Stoics learn how to value resistance properly to recognize the true worth of temptation. Simply put, Stoicism imbues you with the ability to own your own happiness, whether rich or poor, by becoming the governor of your own fate through the application of Stoic principles. This sounds like a tall order, but Stoicism has been granting true happiness since the days of ancient Greece. We’ll prove it.

Chapter 2 - History Of Stoicism, Famous Stoics, And Notables Influenced We’re going to distill a lot of history in a small place, so we hope that you will be patient with us. Here is the quick rundown of events to give you a little bit of a foundation. About 300 years before the birth of Christ, a man called Zeno of Citium began teaching philosophy, which he had put together from a place called the Stoa Pikile (which means ‘the painted porch’ and refers to an open-air market in Athens). This philosophy combined thoughts of his own flavored with the earlier teachings of Heraclitus as well as the Cynics and Socratics. While the followers of his philosophy were originally called Zenonians, due to the fact that it was being taught from the Stoa Pikile, the term ‘Stoic’ ended up sticking instead . Pop culture always wins when it comes to naming things; what can you do? This philosophy was so powerful that it began to be embraced by a growing number of devotees looking to learn from it and to refine it. Around 155 B.C., a delegation of three Greek Philosophers arrived in Rome and introduced the locals to Stoicism and many other teachings. This, of course, irritated the Aristocracy, but the philosophies ‘caught on’ and the rest, as they say, is history. To give those of you who love history a little basic information which you can research further, some contributors to Stoic thought that you may wish to learn more about are as follows: Chrysippus (circa 279 - 206 B.C.) - Important for his written contributions, which helped to expand upon Zeno’s works, Chrysippus helped to greatly expand on upon the base of logic that

governs Stoic thought. Cicero (circa 106 - 43 B.C.) - Considered one of the ‘heavy-hitters’ of Stoic writings, among his major contributions were the books ‘Paradoxa Stoicorum’, ‘De Finibus’, and ‘Tusculan Disputations’. These books are well worth reading. Seneca the Younger (circa 4 B.C. - 65 A.D.) - Seneca’s ‘On Anger’ and ‘Letters to Lucilius’ are fantastic reads and merely two of his many contributed writings on Stoicism. You’ll find that we reference him a lot in this book. Epictetus (circa 55 - 135 A.D.) - Epictetus was a former slave whose spoken dialogues were immortalized in ‘Enchiridion’ and in ‘Discourses’. The logic used to break down such subjects as s illness, death, wealth, public opinion, and more is staggering, so you’ll be hearing quite a lot from Epictetus as we proceed through the chapters. His influence and humble roots helped to ensure that Stoicism gained appeal for everyone, regardless of their perceived station in life. Marcus Aurelius (circa 121 - 180 A.D.) - An Emperor, Marcus Aurelius embraced Stoicism and his ‘Meditations’ give practical information that is as valid today as it was in his time. That was then, but of course, this is now, and you are probably wondering if this wisdom is too old and dusty to be of use. If so, then you couldn’t be further from the truth. The Stoic principles are applied eagerly to this day and the wisdom still holds solid. Don’t believe us? Well, here are some famous Stoics and those who espoused Stoic ideals in their actions which you might have heard of: Thomas Aquinas (1225-1774) - This famous Christian philosopher drew upon Stoicism in regards to defining Virtue. Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) - American Essayist, Poet, and Philosopher, Emerson drew heavily on Stoic thought, and it shows in his works. Viktor Frankl (1905 - 1997) - Austrian psychiatrist and Neurologist, Viktor embraced the ideas of Stoicism while imprisoned in a Nazi concentration camp during World War II. Stoic ideals are said to have helped him to survive these camps and

to develop his own ‘Logotherapy’, a means of pursuing the ‘meaning in one’s life’. Rubin Carter (1937 - 2014) - An American Heavyweight boxer, famously known as ‘The Hurricane’ who embraced the Stoic ideals of refusing to accept his imprisonment. He was, later acquitted, but never broken. Ulysses S Grant (1822-1885) -While it is unlikely that he ever read Epictetus, he certainly was a Stoic in his actions. For instance, when a reporter criticized him, he famously responded, “Your paper is very unjust to me, but time will make it all right. I want to be judged only by my acts.” . To define yourself in your actions is very Stoic indeed. Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826) - Yes, this famous President was among other things, quite the Stoic. In a letter to a friend, he states; “...assume a perfect resignation to the Divine will, to consider that whatever does happen, must happen; and that by our uneasiness, we cannot prevent the blow before it does fall, but we may add to its force after it has fallen.” [6] Napoleon Bonaparte (1769 - 1821) - Noted to have said, “The first qualification of a general is a cool head” , he had an attitude most Stoic, and Marcus Aurelius would have approved. Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965) - Stoic in his speeches and his fortitude, Churchill assumed any role which was given to him and performed it to his utmost. This is a very Stoic attitude. Steve Jobs (1955 - 2011) - While actually a Buddhist, Steve Jobs receives an honorable mention for his views on Death and mortality, having once said “Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose.” He clearly demonstrates the Stoic viewpoint that death should not be feared. Nelson Mandela (1918 - 2013) - While not technically a Stoic, he was certainly interested in and benefited from Stoic teachings. The story is that ‘The Meditations’ of Marcus Aurelius were smuggled into his cell and read by Mandela. As to the influence? A good example of Stoic thought was Mandela saying, “One of the things I learned when I was negotiating was that until I changed myself, I could not change others.” . It sounds suspiciously Stoic to us!

As you can see, as a budding Stoic, you are in good company. So, what are the ‘milestones’ which every Stoic should achieve?

Chapter 3 - Cardinal Virtues And Understanding Your Sphere Of Influence When it comes to your transformation into the Stoic way of thought, two core tenets that you will want to keep in mind the Cardinal virtues and the dichotomy of control. We’ll explain these to you and give you some examples so that you can get started right away. The Cardinal virtues which you will want to focus on are going to be these: Practical Wisdom - Practical wisdom is a proper understanding of what is good for you and what is not. Generally, this is something that we know on an instinctual level but tend to ‘gloss over’ when it comes to our daily decisions. Steeping yourself in the classic examples from Stoic literature can help to inure you to this. Courage - Doing the right thing isn’t easy; otherwise, everyone would do it. You are going to need to be brave to walk this path, but it is definitely something that you can do! Justice - A Stoic must always be fair in how they treat other people. This is something which you can learn by example and the ancient texts have many great examples. Temperance - How much is too much and how little is too little? This is something that you will learn with Stoicism. It is important always to do things in the right measure.

The Cardinal Virtues Expanded Let’s break them down into their component parts with some examples. First, we will start with Practical Wisdom . One good example of this is drinking in moderation. Stoics prize above all their control of the things which they can control. Alcohol can relax you, but is it good for control? Is it not wiser to focus on the mind more than anything else? Another good example is laziness .

In Discourses, we are told, “Finally decide that you are an adult who is going to devote the rest of your life to making progress. Abide by what seems best as if it were an inviolable law. When faced with anything painful or pleasurable, anything bringing glory or disrepute, realize that the crisis is now.” [7] Ultimately, we know what is good for us; it is the practice that is difficult. As a Stoic, you are going to need to exercise your control as much as possible. Start with small things and work your way up, and you will find that it is easier to do what is wise rather than what is pleasurable or expedient. Example: At work, you have a difficult project and it is your habit to drink lots of coffee or energy drinks in order to gain better focus. As a side-effect of this, your heart flutters and you find it hard to go to sleep on nights when you use this strategy. Should you continue using this for ‘emergencies’? Practical wisdom would suggest that focus exercises, meditation, or other more natural forms of raising your energy levels would be a better option. After all, not being able to sleep means you will perform poorly the next day unless you repeat the caffeine intake. The ‘caffeine method’ also is bad for your heart, which will eventually catch up to you. Would not it be wiser, in the long run, to develop your focus in a healthier way so that you can still perform well without taxing your body? Courage to do what is right is our second Cardinal virtue. Often, rather than knowing ‘right from wrong’, peer pressure from others is actually the biggest factor in preventing us from doing the right thing. A Stoic must get themselves into the habit of standing up and doing the right thing anyway . This virtue is not only good for your own soul, but it is good for the community and a Stoic serves the interests of both. So how do you do the right thing if you are worried about the judgment of others?

It is simple. Stop worrying about judgment if you are in the right. From Discourses, we are told, “If you decide to do something, don’t shrink from being seen doing it, even if the majority of people disapprove. If you’re wrong to do it, then you should shrink from doing it altogether; but if you’re right, then why worry how people will judge you?” [8] If you always do the right thing, then you will build a reputation for it. People will notice and then you need not fear the judgment of others. Example: You have been given multiple tasks at work, and you have a deadline for each of them. You don’t want to tell your boss that you have too much work but you know that the deadline for some of these tasks is likely to be missed. What do you do ? A lot of people would just miss the deadline and apologize, and this is the cowardly way out. Why not approach it logically? Prioritize the tasks by importance so that you can focus on what needs to be done the most. Next, tell your Boss that the deadlines are at risk and that you have prioritized the tasks and advise them which ones can be accomplished. This gives your Boss the chance to help you to meet these deadlines. While it is scary to ask for help when you need it, your Boss really only cares about meeting those deadlines, and they will ultimately respect you more if they know that you will inform them if you are overwhelmed or if they are giving you too many tasks in the first place. There is no shortage of people who would rather cost their company money out of fear or pride rather than ask for help when it is needed. By being known as someone who is efficient but practical and brave enough to state the truth, you will stand above others in the estimation of many (yourself included). Our next virtue of discussion is Justice . It is important to know how to treat

people fairly. Incidentally, this includes critics. While the initial urge when speaking with someone who is critical of you is to treat them poorly, think about this. A Stoic knows that the critic is only following their own beliefs. Just as your beliefs guide your own actions, so it is for the critic. With critics, there is also a chance to grow. When criticized, rather than take offense, ask yourself, ‘Are they correct in their criticism?’. If the answer is ‘yes’ and it is something which you can control, then they have given you a gift. They have taught you a way to improve yourself. If the criticism is incorrect or it is not something which you can change, then release it from your worries, because a Stoic only worries about what they can change . Critics are probably the best lesson when it comes to treating someone fairly. Remember, you cannot control the perception of others, critics or not, so don’t even try. Accept them or ignore them as-needed. Example: You and some of your other military veteran friends who are aspiring to be writers have formed a writing club. One of your fellow vets feels that a story that you have written focused too much on the more extreme details of military service at the expense of expressing the mindset of your main character. They tell you that this sort of writing seems more like sensationalism and that they feel it seems to lessen the contributions of the individual soldier, whose experience the story is about. You have poured a lot of hard work into the story, and so your initial reaction is anger but you also realize that they have a point; you may have been focusing too much on the environment rather than the character. How should you react to this criticism? You have taken the first step by stopping to understand the criticism instead of instantly defending yourself. Thank them for their criticism. The initial

urge to treat others poorly for criticism is a habit that you will want to get out of. A Stoic knows that in a scenario like this, the critic has done you a favor. With critics and others, no one can offend you unless you let them . So, if a critic tells you something which you and others can benefit from, why waste that opportunity by taking offense? Thank them sincerely, learn from what they have taught you, and who knows? You might find a new friend where you thought there was only a foe, and from that point forward, your story characters will live within their detailed surroundings, rather than simply ‘peeking out’ from them. The fourth virtue is Temperance, and it is just as important as the others. Knowing how to do things in moderation is difficult, but the rewards are immense. On this subject, Epictetus tells us in his ‘Discourses’, “It shows a lack of refinement to spend a lot of time exercising, eating, drinking, defecating or copulating. Tending to the body’s needs should be done incidentally, as it were; the mind and its functions require the bulk of our attention.” [9] Now, we should note that he doesn’t say ‘don’t do these things’, rather, that each should be done in moderation. The Stoic focus needs to be on the development of the mind. Everything else, if overdone, is a distraction to this, and if you give way to the distractions of excess, then you are eroding your own ability to control yourself from within. Rather you should practice moderation and increase your control. Learn to take pride in saying, ‘No, I don’t need more of this. I have had enough.’. At first, it will seem like an uphill climb but each time that you exercise your will, it gets stronger. You’ll see. Example: It is a tradition at your workplace every day for you and some of your coworkers to go to the bar after work. This is good for you socially, but

sometimes you find that it can be a little awkward the next day, as you feel pressured to drink more than you would like and end up feeling less wellrested. You don’t want to stop going completely as this could have an impact on how you are viewed at work. What should you do? While a Stoic ultimately does not care about the judgment of others, we realize that there are situations where such judgment may affect our livelihood. That said, it just takes a clever little application of the will to exercise as much control as you can over the situation. For instance, who says you have to drink alcohol? You can ask the bartender to pour coke in a glass that they would normally use for rum and coke, and no one would know. You might be able to get away with going out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, ensuring that your co-workers still see you often but just not every night. Control what you can, this is the Stoic way!

The Dichotomy Of Control The power of the Stoic is the wisdom of knowing what can and cannot be controlled. We cannot control things like death or illness. We cannot control the judgments of others. If you are laid-off at your job, this was not something that you could have controlled. The Stoic knows that understanding what they can control is the key to happiness. There is a caveat, however, and it is this. You must EXERCISE that control. Control everything that you can. For instance, if someone insults you, this was something that you could not control. You CAN control your response. You can choose not to take offense. You can understand that perhaps this person is limited in how they can express themselves. You can feel pity that they must degrade others to elevate themselves. Illness is another good example. If you find out that you have a condition which you will have to live with for life, for instance. Do you choose to

spend the rest of your life devoting time to self-pity, or do you adjust to your new paradigm and control everything which is still within your power to control? Poverty is another example. Many people work hard their entire lives and never become wealthy. Believe it or not, some are still quite happy. The reason for this is that they have chosen not to spend their time in resentment of what cannot be controlled . A Stoic learns a proper perspective. Epictetus tells us in ‘Discourses’ that we should take this resentment and put it to good use: “Remove it from anything not in our power to control, and direct it instead toward things contrary to our nature that we do control.” Simply put, if we must feel resentment over something, let it be those things that we can control, which we do not yet control. Maybe you wish you would exercise twice a week. This is in your control and it conforms with the wisdom of moderation. Resent that you do not do this and use that resentment to drive you to change. Feelings of helplessness and resentment are normal, but a Stoic recognizes that this energy should not be wasted on things that cannot be changed. Despite the public view on Stoicism, it is not about being a ‘Vulcan’ from the television series Star Trek. It is about knowing what cannot be controlled so that you can focus on what CAN be. Once you learn this lesson and only start looking at the things which you can change, then achieving your happiness is a thing that is very much within your grasp. Let’s discuss some practical examples: Example 1: Your Mother-in-law hates you and has hated you for years.

A Stoic can only control their own feelings and viewpoints. That said, another can only offend you if you let them. Consider that letting this person offend you is giving them control over you and decide that civility might be the only approach available. Example 2: You’ve just been laid off from your job . Since you cannot control this, focus on what you CAN control. You can file for unemployment. You can set yourself a schedule for how many jobs you intend to apply to each day. You can take some of the extra free time that you have to pursue that dream of becoming a writer. As you can see, there are many, many things you can do instead of sitting around and feeling defeated. Why not choose to feel productive and comfortable in the fact that you are doing everything that you can to change the situation? Example 3: As a homemaker or a stay-at-home father, you are depressed that you are working a full-time job that doesn’t draw a physical income. It is affecting your overall happiness, even though you love taking care of your kids, but you can’t just leave the house to take up even a part-time job. This is a great example of where you need to know where you can take control. You cannot control the fact that the children need to be cared for, beyond ensuring that it happens. Can you control drawing an income? This is possible. Online businesses can be set up, for instance. In a strategy called ‘Dropshipping’, you don’t even have to have stock. You decide on a 3rd party vendor to use as a supplier and then set up a website where people decide on items from this vendor, place their orders, and then you forward them to the vendor who ships them to your customer. No stock or warehouse is needed, just a pretty page and an order forwarding system. Some people obtain items from estate sales or ‘garage sales’ and clean them up for reselling on eBay or Amazon.com. You could even do some writing in your spare time to earn money from home and still take care of the kids.

Remember, don’t despair over what you cannot control. As a Stoic, you should analyze the scenario, identify or brainstorm what you CAN control, and then make it happen . Every scenario is an opportunity. Manipulating your perspective is the Stoic way!

Chapter 4 - What Are A Stoics Roles In Life? Who are you? While this can be a lifetime contemplation, we can help to narrow it down from the Stoic point of view. When it comes to the question ‘who am I?’ a large portion of what we are asking is, ‘what am I supposed to be doing, anyway?’. Understanding the 3 primary roles can help you to understand exactly this! When it comes to the game of life, we all play certain roles. These roles can be broken down into 3 categories, which we will explain first in brief and then expand upon. These roles are as follows: Your Role As A Basic Human Being And A Member Of A Human Polis - By Polis, the ancient Greeks were referring to ‘a community’. A sort of universal city-state concept. What this means is that your primary role is to your community. How do you contribute to it? We’ll discuss this further in this chapter as we expand upon these roles. Roles Of Circumstance - You have roles that are determined by circumstances in life. A good example is your family. You didn’t pick them, but you certainly play a role in your family structure, be it an active one, a passive role, or by your absence in their lives. Roles Which You Have Chosen - This includes careers, for instance, or the decision to become a parent. So, what exactly do these roles mean? We’ve touched on them in brief, but let’s expand them a little.

Your Role As A Basic Human Being And A Member Of A Human Polis A Stoic needs to be able to see the big picture. It is part of your happiness,

whether you realize it yet or not. Being an active member of your community raises the standards of living for ALL. It is a natural state, according to Epictetus, who tells us this: “Because what is a human being? Part of a community – the community of gods and men, primarily, and secondarily that of the city we happen to inhabit, which is only a microcosm of the universe in toto.” [10] As an active member of your community, your decisions in life become a lot easier as well. Always ask yourself, ‘is this good for humanity?’ and you will find that you will be expending much less frivolous energy. So, how can one contribute to the local community? Do you have some special skills that you can contribute or, better yet, that you can teach to others? Share them! You could do volunteer work to help feed the local homeless. You can volunteer at your public library. Pick up some trash at a local park or organize a greater cleanup effort with the help of your friends. Don’t brag about it or volunteer the information about your role in the community either unless you are asked. Marcus Aurelius sums up the communal human best in his ‘Meditations’ when he states: “He is like a vine which has produced grapes, and seeks for nothing more after it has once produced its proper fruit. As a horse when he has run, a dog when he has tracked the game, a bee when it has made the honey, so a man when he has done a good act, does not call out for others to come and see, but he goes on to another act, as a vine goes on to produce again the grapes in season.” [11] Be like the grapes in your community. Make it your nature to nourish those around you with your actions. In this way, the Stoic should always serve the community .

Roles Of Circumstance Examples of roles of circumstance are such things as your birth or your current age. You didn’t choose your parents. You only happen to be younger or older due to the passage of time. So, what do these things mean for the Stoic? In terms of family, Epictetus counsels that we should, whenever possible, treat our family members in terms of deference and respect. [12] Consider your things as their things and try not to harm them with your words. Defer to them when you can and cooperate as much as possible. The harmony of the family is important in your life. Don’t fight over material things. These things come and go, and the Stoic really doesn’t have many places for them, valuing only the sound logic of their own mind. While this may be difficult, keep in mind that it might make many things much easier for you when viewed from this perspective. At the very least, we are counseled that allowing ourselves to lose control and to strike in anger with our fists or our words makes less of us. “If you forget what it means to be a brother and become your brother’s enemy, don’t think you’ve made a trivial exchange. If you are transformed from a decent, social human being into some mean, snarling, dangerous beast, is there no loss involved? Or do you have to lose money before you feel penalized? Is losing money the only loss that counts with us?” [13] What of the other roles of circumstance? What does it mean to be the youngest of your social group? What does it mean to be the eldest? As a Stoic, you must learn to contemplate these roles and what you feel comes naturally to them so that you may live up to your own standards. After all, no one can live your life but you !

Roles Which You Have Chosen Our chosen vocations in life (as well as other decisions of this sort) play the part of the third role. These are the things which we have specifically decided upon. Did you decide to have a child or many children? What about your career? The roles which we have chosen help to determine our personal duty and effect how we integrate into the community. Understanding these roles is another important part of being a Stoic. For instance, as a parent, what are your duties? Well, you must provide food and shelter for your child. You must educate them. Encourage their interests. What about career roles? A police officer, for instance, protects and serves the community. A teacher inspires interest in learning. So, what does a Stoic do with the knowledge of these three types of roles? The best approach is to treat the first role as paramount. Your service to the community is going to be the most important. When you make decisions in regards to the second and third roles, then always keep the first role in mind. It will help to make many decisions easier for you. Next, you will want to recognize how these three roles manifest in your life, and you will want to use this realization to help you to play your roles to their fullest. Strive for your utmost. Be the best contributor to the public. Be the best that you can be with your family. Honor the choices that you have made by seeing them through with your best efforts. Does this mean that you cannot fail? Of course not, but a Stoic learns to see everything as a lesson, so if the outcome which you are expecting does not come around, then you should learn from it and once again exert your control over everything which is within your power. By taking this approach to your roles in life, you will be one step closer to happiness, and you won’t have to worry anymore about feeling lost or like you don’t belong. You DO belong,

and it is simply a matter of realizing where you fit in. Once you recognize and know your roles, then the next step is to avoid compromising them. As a Stoic, you should realize that those material goods and the opinions of others are unimportant, but your view of YOURSELF is priceless. You have only yourself to give, and you want to make sure that you do not sell yourself short. So, how does one learn to be better in their roles? One step at a time. Your goal is to be a better person than you were yesterday. The best way to accomplish this is to set some mini-goals for yourself. Let’s take the 3 roles and we’ll give you some examples .

Expanding Your Role As A Basic Human Being And A Member Of A Human Polis Improving the community is easy if you put a little thought into it. Here are a few examples: Pick up some trash on your way to or from work. It doesn’t have to be a lot, even a piece of paper will do Give a homeless guy a sandwich without being asked Donate 5$ at the local library Start a carpool for work Volunteer once a month at a local homeless shelter These are just some small examples. Start small and then work your way up .

Roles Of Circumstance Baby steps work in this role as well. Some things which you can do in order to play your roles of circumstance better are as follows: Visit your parents if you don’t already visit them often. They would love to see you, and your family is important. Take your brother or sister out to dinner. Call or send a letter to a family member you haven’t spoken with in a while. If you are in the military and deployed, get permission to make a Twitter page or another form of social media for family-only where you can update that you are safe. From a tiny acorn springs the mighty oak. Work on getting your foot in the door and then go from there. If another family member tries to get an angry response out of you, rather than reduce yourself to responding, you must try your best to be firm but respectful. Remember, they can’t move you if you do not let them, as you are no longer a child.

Roles Which You Have Chosen When you make a conscious decision to do something, then you should always give it your utmost. Improving on these roles doesn’t have to be difficult. Here are some examples of some things which you can do: If your work has internal education, such as classes you can sign up for or online education, then take advantage of this at least once a month to start. If you are about to be a parent or are a new parent, read at least 1 parenting book. You might be surprised what you can learn. Ask for copies of performance reviews when you get them in the workplace so that you can set an action plan for improving on the areas that need improvement If you don’t get performance reviews, create one for yourself so that

you can rate your own progress

Utilizing A Role Model A final way that we would recommend for using the 3 roles is this. Apply them to your favorite role model. Everyone has someone which they admire. As a thinking exercise (and you are a Philosopher now, so that is what we do!) you should think of your role model and determine what you can about their place in the 3 roles. Did your role model contribute to the community? Do you know anything about their familial relationships? What did they do to stand out in their chosen roles? By analyzing the life of someone that you admire, you can get an excellent idea of the validity of the 3-role approach. It will help you to understand your role model a little better but more importantly, it will help you to apply the 3role standard to yourself. Remember, knowing your place in the world and what you should be doing will help you achieve an inner calm like nothing else. It will help you to make decisions because you will no longer feel the desire to ‘spread yourself thin’ by attempting to do too many things at once. Simply put, know your roles!

Chapter 5 - Turning Your Self-Discipline Into Iron An integral part of Stoicism is developing your self-discipline. Seneca tells us in ‘Selected Letters: “We need to discipline our spirit, so that it holds aloof from all pleasures just when the whole crowd has thrown itself into them; for the spirit gives the strongest proof of its resolve by not being attracted or distracted by pleasures which lead to self-indulgence. It is much more strong-willed to be sober and dry when the people are drunk and throwing up, but the other course is more moderate, not to distinguish or mark oneself nor get involved with everything, but to do the same things in a different way, since it is possible to observe a holiday without self-indulgence.” [14] Seneca is correct. You can observe a holiday without self-indulgence. The development of your self- discipline will get you there, but it’s not an easy road. If it were, we’d all be self-disciplined. Self-discipline is one of the most important factors in your life. After all, it’s what gets you out of bed every morning. Knowing that you have tasks to do helps to motivate you towards it. A good example is your job. How many times have you gotten up and gone to work even though you felt unwell or maybe just a little lazy? If you weren’t exercising self-discipline already, you’d be virtually stagnant. No job. No direction. So, what you, as a Stoic, will need to do is develop this skill. The great thing about developing self-discipline is that it will help you to replace bad habits with good ones. You will also be happier because a well-honed sense of discipline will allow you to accomplish more. People tend to think that too much self-discipline makes someone boring. This couldn’t be further from the truth . It makes one powerful. It also is not something that you are going to develop overnight. The road to

self-discipline is a hard one. There is a lot of pain that you are going to experience if you desire to tame yourself through the way of the Stoic. We want to make it clear that there will be times when you fail. When you fall off the path, then we counsel that you don’t grieve overmuch on it. This is a waste of energy. Better that you should simply brush yourself off and get back on the path. Instead of thinking of it as a long, uphill journey, think of it as a series of small journeys. Take baby steps. You will get there in the end. Consider also that sometimes the path is going to change out of necessity. You must be strong and push forward, wherever it might take you. This is not a task to be taken lightly. In developing your self-discipline, you are going to have to put in a lot of hard work. This is a serious commitment and should be treated as such. If you cannot, then you will never develop self-discipline. Think about the reality of that. What if you had no self-discipline at all? How could you thrive? No, it won’t kill you, of course, but it will rob you of the realization of your full potential. It will cheat you out of your happiness. It will steal your sense of self-worth and of fulfillment. Do you wish never to know the joys that come of getting rid of addictions and temptations? Do you desire not to know what you could have otherwise achieved in a disciplined, focused lifetime? Without self-discipline, you cannot replace your bad habits with good ones. If you are plagued with negative feelings, such as regret, guilt, or anger, these will continue to play a heavy part in your life if you never develop your self-discipline . Let’s go into some practical examples of this. Say that you would like to write a novel. You’ve had a great idea percolating your mind for years, and you are dying to set it on paper. Maybe you’ve talked about it to folks and now you are ‘that guy’. You know, the one who is always ‘going’ to write a

novel. So, where is it? Imagine that you made yourself write 500 words a day. Only 500. Not much, really, just the size of 2 paperback pages. You promise yourself that you will go to your desk and not leave it until you’ve produced 500 words each day, Monday through Friday. You could make it something that you do in the morning before work or evening at night before bed. With just this small pledge of self-discipline, you will be producing 2500 words a week. You still have your weekends to yourself, so it’s not such a great cost to infuse a little self-discipline, and you will be producing 10,000 words per month. After one year, you have 120,000 words, which is a good size for a novel . Self-discipline, even in small doses, is like the power of erosion. Small amounts of water eating at the rock created the Grand Canyon. As they say, slow and steady wins the race. Now let’s say that you wanted to exercise more. Okay, maybe it’s more realistic to say that you’d like even to exercise a little. This is one that gets a lot of us. We want to be in better shape and keep intending to go to the gym, but it’s frankly hard to take those first steps. So, what can you do? Hire a trainer at your local gym to give you a one-hour session once a week. You’ve paid for it, so this is going to help to motivate you to go, and one day a week is not a big deal. If you do it before work, then you will feel energized the rest of the day, despite what you might think. After you’ve gotten used to going one day a week for a few weeks, mix it up by going by yourself later in the week, so that you have one training session and one solo session . It’s a bit of a mind-hack, using a trainer so that you go just to avoid wasting your money, but sometimes you need to be sneaky when you are developing your self-discipline.

This is because it is such a difficult path. The good news is that it DOES get easier. For instance, exercise is a huge hurdle, and once you’ve begun a regular regimen, you will find that you have more energy and that lesser things you had trouble motivating yourself to do are suddenly no trouble at all. This is because those ‘discipline muscles’ are getting stronger at the same time that you are. With more attention to your health, you might find it’s easier to moderate your alcohol intake because you will feel more pride in your body. You might even find yourself eating differently. If you are following the writing example, as a writer myself, I can tell you that one of the things a disciplined approach will give you is the power to write much, much more. At first, it’s a struggle just to get those first 500 words, especially when it seems like your Muse isn’t going to show up, but by forcing yourself into a daily regimen, you are letting your Muse know where you will be every day. Before you know it, you’ll find that you’ve written 1500 or more words in only one session and the feeling is priceless. This is the reward for your self-discipline and once you taste it, you’ll wonder why you never gave yourself a chance before. This is when you will truly understand how self-discipline is the key to your happiness. It doesn’t have to be exercising or writing. Some people say all the time, ‘ I wish that I had time to read more’ and simply leave it at that. If this is you, then stop that right now. You are a Stoic, and discipline is your new, lifelong companion. ‘Well, it’s just that I’m always busy’, you say, and to this, we would respond, ‘get creative!’ . For instance, you can put books that you want to read all around the house. Yes, in the bathroom too. Make sure that there are books available in the places that you spend the most time in. This gives you a chance to read a page or two at any time that you are in that room. Do you commute to work on public transportation? Bring a book. It makes the trip go faster, and you are not wasting time. You are a Stoic, after all, and your time is important. Seneca quotes Aristotle

in his ‘On the shortness of life’ when he states: “So it is: we are not given a short life but we make it short, and we are not ill-supplied but wasteful of it.” [15] A life without self-discipline is exactly this. Wasteful. He goes on to tell us that this is because of the excesses that we enjoy in lieu of taking that time and putting it somewhere useful. Some people waste time at the bar. Others like to sit in bed and watch television all day. As an exercise, why not get yourself a notepad. On the first page, make a list of 5 to 10 things that you would like to accomplish. On the next page, we are going to start making a list. Keep the notepad with you, and every time you indulge yourself in something entertaining but meaningless, then write down what you did and how much time you spent on it. Do this for a month or even just a week. Track the time that you watch shows. Track the time that you go out to the pub. Track the time that you sleep late instead of getting up early. Be honest. We don’t like to admit it to ourselves, but deep down, we know which of our activities is wasteful and frivolous, so write down anything that you feel falls in this category and all the time that you spent on it. At the end of the week or the month, tally up the hours that you’ve poured into useless endeavors. Now that you’ve seen how much time you have wasted, take a look at your ‘to-do’ list on the first page and let the reality of it hit you. It hits like a Mack truck. As a Stoic, you need to realize that self-discipline is NOT restrictive. You

aren’t putting yourself in jail. Quite the opposite, you are freeing yourself to be a stronger, better you. Those items that you put on the list are only the first of the things that you can accomplish. The very first thing that you need to do is to promise yourself that you will waste less time. Since you have been tracking yourself for a week or a month, start your new commitment to selfdiscipline by selecting part of your tracked routine and replacing it with baby-steps towards one of your goals on the first page. Like our examples with exercise and writing, you don’t have to make a huge time commitment in order to start building up your self-discipline. Start by taking one or two fewer hours a week that you spend on television, for instance. Vow that instead of sleeping until 10 or 11 on Sunday, you will instead get up at 8 or 9 and spend that time on one of your goals. Just as you can write a novel in a year with a measly 500 words a day, 5 days a week, there is very little which you cannot accomplish if you start flexing those ‘discipline muscles’. If you want to get rid of that anger or guilt, if you want to be immune from temptation or angry words, if you want to know the happiness of accomplishment and the abolishment of weakness, then start right now . Learn the power of Stoic discipline and no matter what befalls you, your life will be a happy one.

Chapter 6 - Learning The Stoic Mastery Of Emotions A popular misconception about Stoics is that they are emotionless. Like the fictional Vulcans from Star Trek, Stoics go about feeling no anger or sadness, adhering only to reason or as the Vulcans put it, ‘logic’. When you think about it, this is silly. Of course, Stoics have emotions. We just know that they need to be controlled if we want to be happy. Stoicism is all about control. Think about the impact that your emotions have had over you. Throughout life, there have been times when being nervous may have led to failing an important job interview. Maybe breaking up with your boyfriend or girlfriend made you mopey and unproductive, or worse. Maybe your temper has gotten you into trouble. This is something that you need to put a stop to . You will not be successful in life if you don’t learn how to master yourself and control your own emotions. Period. Now before you protest, we aren’t talking about bottling up your emotions or ignoring your feelings. That’s not healthy. A Stoic learns to control their emotions by mentally taking a step back before making rash decisions. Sounds easy, doesn’t it? It’s not easy at all, but it is WORTH IT. You start by developing the habit of ‘distancing yourself’ when a strong emotion occurs. You need to learn to do this just long enough to ask yourself if your impulse-action will serve you in a negative or a positive way.

Emotions have a way of shrinking the wide world into the size of a small tunnel, much like blinders on a horse, and ‘blinders’ is what emotions really are. They make you only see one way forward when reason certainly begs to differ; there are always a number of ways to proceed and certainly less destructive ones. Let’s go into some practical examples, starting with anger. Some of us have what could only be politely called ‘a temper’. If someone wakes you up too early, criticizes you, bumps into you at work, or even seems to be looking at you funny, your first reaction is to get aggressive with them. Maybe you throw it out as sarcasm or your mind instantly jumps to the need for physical aggression. As a Stoic, you will want to get in the habit of counting slowly in your mind before letting someone else control you. That is what it is, too, if you let your temper decide the issue, ultimately you are letting someone else control your actions. Worse, there are certain kinds of people who will RECOGNIZE this and they will seek to control you through your temper. You need to take control. First, when that acid-response comes to your mind, ask yourself ‘How does this serve me?’. ‘It feels good’ is the wrong answer and one that could lead to jail if you aren’t careful. In Discourses, Epictetus states [16] that when someone criticizes you or ‘does you wrong’ then you should not be offended, simply because this person is doing what they think it right. They don’t know any better. He also tells us that if someone criticizes you and the criticisms are correct then you should not be angry, but grateful. After all, they have told you how to improve

something that is close to your heart . The most important thing to remember about anger is that it is a passionate energy that you MUST use or be used by . If your anger is of the violent kind, consider enrolling in a martial arts class. This will let you harness that beast at the same time that you are learning to control it. Insults are another good example. An insult cannot hurt you unless you allow it to. Socrates was quite famous for ignoring insults. ‘I have insulted you.’ , someone would say, to which he would reply ‘A lot of good may it do you.’ [17] . A good way to respond to insults is self-deprecating humor. This gives you a way to respond without sinking to the insulter’s level. It also gets you in the habit of distancing yourself from the impulse to insult them right back. Insults often come as a surprise, much like good old anger, and so conditioning yourself by employing self-deprecating humor is a good step towards self-control. If someone says, ‘you’re ugly’, you can simply respond, ‘...and short too, how I wish that I were tall!’ as you stroll away. This shows the insulters that you are aware of your perceived failings and that insults are a laughing matter. One of the best benefits of refusing to play the game by counter-insulting this person is that you will irritate them more than if you had merely insulted them back. People like to insult to ‘get a rise’ out of others. When you allow yourself to be angry from an insult then you are allowing this person to manipulate and control you. You are letting them rob you of your tranquility. If you vent that anger, the odds are that you will do something regrettable, all over a handful of words. So do not allow this to happen. A passage from ‘Discourses’ advises :

“For every challenge, remember the resources you have within you to cope with it. Provoked by the sight of a handsome man or a beautiful woman, you will discover within you the contrary power of self-restraint. Faced with pain, you will discover the power of endurance. If you are insulted, you will discover patience. In time, you will grow to be confident that there is not a single impression that you will not have the moral means to tolerate.” [18] Impressions are the key to emotional self-control. You cannot control what another person says or does but you can learn to control your ‘impression’ of it. ‘But how?’, you ask. Let us apply a good example of this. Everyone has at some time in life (or maybe even now) had an offensive friend — someone who speaks their mind no matter what and long ago you learned not to be offended. You’ve probably found yourself saying, ‘that’s just the way he/she is’ and thought nothing of when that person directed their offensive wit at you. Why can’t you take that view for everyone? Stoicism teaches us that people do what they personally think is right, just like you do. By reason, it stands that taking offense from another’s ignorance is a waste of energy. That person is just doing what they think is right. A Stoic is concerned only with what they can control and you can’t control another person. You can only control yourself. As an exercise, use the same notebook that you utilized in the previous chapter or simply get a new one and whenever you feel an emotional decision coming on then write it in the notebook the first chance that you get. If you let the emotion control you, write that down too. Write what you did. Keep

track of your emotional decisions for one month, taking time on Sunday of every week to read what your emotions made you do. Be sure to include the scenario, such as: ‘My manager, Bob, said my production levels were low, and before I could stop myself, I blurted out ‘we need to hire more people, there is too much work. Now I’m worried about my job.’ The first thing that you are going to notice is that these emotional decisions, when viewed from the safety of Sunday and distance, now seem to be quite embarrassing. You should reflect on what you could have done better. Seeing the paper proof of how deadly emotions can be for us is an excellent way to drive the lesson home. If you want to be happy then you are going to need to learn to control emotion’s influence. It’s as simple as that . A trite but effective way of lessening the hold of emotion upon you is simply counting before you respond. Count slowly from 1 to 5 in your mind instead of simply saying the first thing that comes to it. Your notepad has already shown you how much damage impulse can do. Even if an emotional outburst doesn’t cost you a job, it still taxes you with guilt, embarrassment, and more. How liberating then will it be once you have learned to control them? Stoics feel emotions just like anyone else but we have learned the importance of impressions. This means that insults and critiques cannot harm you. This means you can control your temper. It can even be applied to grief. A Stoic knows that nothing belongs to them but their control and their reason. Even our own bodies are not owned, rather, they are simply ‘borrowed’ for our brief time in this world. Thus, when someone dies, they are not ‘lost’, but only ‘returned’. This is in accordance with nature .

Most importantly of all, you need to understand your emotions if you want to be able to control the impressions that you take from various things that life throws at you. For instance, maybe you are not a morning person, and people really irritate you if you haven’t had a few cups of coffee. Anyone unfortunate enough to wake you up in the morning is going to receive an earful! You can’t seem to help it. Think about it logically, then. You know that you are vulnerable to your emotions at this time. If you live with someone, tell them that you know this and ask that they try to avoid communication in the morning. You know that your emotional state is hard to control at this time, so tell them this, and you can surely reach a compromise that helps you to avoid being a slave to your morning temper. By first recognizing the impact of our emotions and then analyzing the reasons behind them, we start to develop better control of them. Maybe you become angry or nervous whenever someone at work implies that you aren’t pulling your own weight. So, what is behind this anxiety? Do you worry that you aren’t doing enough? If so, is it better to be angry or nervous or should you instead try to find ways to be more productive? Stoics know that emotional responses are destructive. Due to the intensity of emotion people tend to take the lazy approach, by simply riding that emotion to wherever it takes them instead of trying to figure out why they feel so passionately about the issue. It can cost you friendships, jobs, and more. Properly scrutinized, however, understanding our emotions and controlling the impressions which we take from them can make us grow. If you know that certain music depresses you because it reminds you of a person, might you not try to associate new memories with it or simply abstain from making yourself sad? If the drive to work makes you angry and ‘ramps up your roadrage’, do you know why that is? Does the standstill pace of the traffic make you feel powerless? Are you truly just angry because you didn’t leave the house earlier?

It is important to know why we do the things that we do. A Stoic wants to control everything which is within their power to control and you will never master your emotions if you do not understand them. While it is often painful to analyze our own thought processes it is still necessary, otherwise we become slaves of our own emotional, rash decision-making. As a conclusion to this chapter, we would recommend that you take your ‘emotional decision’ notebook and start going through the items that are listed. Write down what you feel is at the core of the issue. Why do YOU think that you responded in this way? Be brutally honest with yourself because this is very important. If you do not understand why you got emotional then how can you hope to control the impressions that you take from other stimuli in life? It is difficult but you need to be honest with yourself. Learn to observe emotions with almost clinical interest. Distance yourself. Count to 5 before responding. Counting might seem like ‘baby steps’ but until you understand why you are behaving as you do the best thing that you can do is to delay your responses. Once you understand your emotions then your control over them will become easier over time. Count on it.

Chapter 7 - Voluntary Hardship: Doing Without To Grow Within Let’s talk about a powerful tool in the Stoics arsenal, the practice of voluntary hardship. So, what exactly is this? Seneca describes this practice in ‘Selected Letters’: “In fact I am so determined to test your firmness of mind that I will instruct you according to the instruction of great men; set aside a few days in which you will content yourself with the smallest and poorest diet and rough, shaggy clothing, and say to yourself: ‘Is this what I was afraid of?’ Let your mind prepare itself for these difficult circumstances in freedom from care, and let it be strengthened against the injustices of fortune while still enjoying her favors. The soldier makes forced marches in the midst of peace and plants his stake without any enemy and wears himself out with superfluous toil so that he will be strong enough for necessary toil: if you do not want a man to tremble in action, exercise him beforehand. Men followed this principle when they imitated poverty each and every month, coming close to starvation, so that they would never be afraid of what they had often learned.” [19] It’s great advice. Seneca is telling us that we should do without some things, on purpose, so that we know what it’s like and we lose our fear of it. Know what it’s like to lose your car. Know what it’s like to have no electricity. Learn what it means to be hungry. Have you ever had something bad happen twice and the second time it wasn’t so bad because you knew what to expect? That’s exactly what voluntary hardship can do. It can make you an expert on many, many scenarios because you didn’t wait, you MADE them happen. This is something that you can easily do in order to steel yourself against those times when fortune no longer favors you. There is a kind of freedom of

the soul that arises from this sort of preparation. In exploring what could happen, should the worst occur you can face it without fear of it. The early Stoics embraced this practice and it served them well. Diogenes, for example, is described as living in this manner in Seneca’s ‘On Human Freedom’: “In his manner of life, he preferred the minimum of clothing to a purple gown, and the bare ground to a bed, however soft. And as proof of such claims, he produced his assurance, his serenity, his freedom – as well as his tough, radiant physique.” [20] In this example, Diogenes removes the fear of poverty by living well below his means shining not by the merit of his material possessions but rather by his good health, his freedom, and his serenity . One friend of mine had a successful experiment in this. He worked a lucrative tech job that allowed him to eat out every night if he wanted but he was starting to feel that he was becoming a slave to excess. As an experiment he started going out to eat only on Sundays, dividing half of the money he spent going out between his savings and half for his grocery budget. The result? Well, since he still got to go out once a week, he started savoring this time more. It had more value now, you see, and rather than rushing through meals he started taking his time. At home, he was able to ‘stock the larder’ and was frankly surprised at how much you could get on a fraction of his ‘eating out’ budget .

Later, when he lost his job, he also found that living below his means was a very good idea after all. Just a little food for thought. As the only thing a Stoic truly owns is their reason and happiness, Diogenes teaches us something powerful by his example. Cato the Younger is another good example. Known to walk around without his shoes, oddly dressed, with even his head uncovered in the rain. When people laughed at his mode of dress, he would laugh right along with them. This sort of depth of character is something that you need to seek within yourself. A Stoic shines in their deeds. The exercise of voluntary hardship, over time, reduces even the fear of death. Tacitus describes an account of his death in detail in ‘Annals’. Seneca was an advisor to the infamous emperor Nero, who believed that Seneca was part of a conspiracy against him. So he sent word of this to Seneca’s villa in Rome, along with the orders that Seneca was to take his own life for his part in the conspiracy. When Seneca received the orders, rather than panic, he calmly explained that he had nothing to do with any conspiracies. This message was relayed back to Rome but Nero would not be swayed. He sent the command once again that his old advisor should take his own life. The description in ‘Annals’ tells us: “Seneca, quite unmoved, asked for tablets on which to inscribe his will, and, on the centurion’s refusal, turned to his friends, protesting that as he was forbidden to requite them, he bequeathed to them the only, but still the noblest possession yet remaining to him, the pattern of his life which, if they

remembered, they would win a name for moral worth and steadfast friendship.” [21] Seneca had so little fear of death that after he had attempted to cut himself, on his arms and his knees, he declared that it was taking too long. Tacitus attributes this to his age, stating that he bled little and to his rationed diet. So Seneca next asked for poison. The poison, too, seemed to have little effect on the old but dedicated Stoic. To ease his pain and to conduct the flow of blood he asked then for a warm bath, which had the desired effect. Seneca soon expired, calmly and rationally. He died the way that he lived. While the Stoic views on death are something which we go into later, the practice of voluntary hardship which removed all fears from Seneca, Cato, and Diogenes is something that you can begin right away. Once you have learned what it is to be hungry or thirsty, then the possibility can no longer frighten you. Sleeping on the floor is no big deal once you’ve done it a few times. Could you live without electricity? Yes, you could, just as you can live without air conditioning or heating. We recommend that you start small and build on it. Here are some things which you can do that will help to steel you against misfortune so that you can enjoy freedom from your fears. Try one or more of the following: Fasting - Start small, skip breakfast every day for a week, or skip dinner. Work your way up to fasting one day a week and then two. Alternately, choose your groceries in a manner where you have one meal a day. Understand poverty to lose your fear of it. Endure. Avoid Liquids After A Certain Time - No water, coffee, soda... no liquids after 5 PM, for instance. Try going a day without liquids. Be careful with this one but understand thirst so that you aren’t afraid of it. You can even just try keeping a 20OZ water in the fridge and having a day or two where that is all that you drink. Sleep On The Floor - Beds are nice but if you didn’t have one you would be just fine. Try sleeping on the floor for a week to see what it’s like. Learn to appreciate simply having a place to sleep.

Take A Day Without The Air-Conditioner - Spend a weekend just using the fan or good old fashioned windows and the breeze to cool down. If you weren’t able to pay the electric bill and lost your AC, or if you lived somewhere without it, would you be able to survive? Of course. Toughen up your resolve and lose your fear of losing everything by doing without this luxury every now and again. Shower With A Bucket And A Sponge - Showers are a luxury that you don’t always have in some countries. While this might not be the reality where you live, what if your water got cut off? Explore this scenario by forcing yourself to clean the way you would without a shower. Having no water is another facet of poverty that can really get to you if you haven’t prepared yourself mentally. No Meat On The Weekends - Meat is another luxury that we take for granted. If you lost everything, it’s quite likely that you are going to eat whatever is around and the really yummy stuff is going to go fast. You can prepare yourself for this possibility by voluntarily not eating meat on weekends. We don’t recommend doing this for longer periods of time, as you can temporarily lose the enzyme needed to digest meat properly and get sick when you start again, but a weekend should be just fine. Take The Bus Instead Of Driving - What if you got in a car accident and lost your transportation? If you’ve ever owned a car that broke down often then you understand the anxiety that can come with unreliable transportation. Why not inoculate yourself against this anxiety by spending a week taking the bus to work? Bring a book along with you, as it will take longer to get to work, and plan your schedule accordingly so that you are not late. Once you experience the worst-case scenario then your auto-anxiety will fade. The car is not important, it’s a luxury and a convenience, the only thing that is important is the impressions that you take from what life throws at you and this is one way to help drive that home. Dress Humbly - You don’t need those fancy clothes, you know. A Stoic impresses others by their actions and virtue. So why not switch to jeans and t-shirts or other casual, inexpensive clothing to wear in your free time? While this is hard due to vanity and our desire to impress others, as a Stoic a lesson that needs to be driven home is that the opinions of others are not something that you can

control. As such, they are unimportant. This exercise will show you that the fears of judgment are baseless, because if you are living virtuously and exercising your control then other people are going to notice this... Not what you are wearing. Give one or more of these exercises a try and see for yourself. While it seems odd, putting restrictions on yourself, you will soon see that what you are really doing is giving yourself more freedom.

Chapter 8 - Visualizing The Worse To Take Away It’s Power Another means that a Stoic should employ in order to ‘tame their emotions’ is called ‘Negative Visualization’. Negative visualization is much like voluntary discomfort, except that it all takes place in the mind. Emotions tend to creep up on us, mostly by surprise (anger is an excellent example of this), and because of this, we should put our imaginations to good use by creating mental scenarios in which we are forced into an emotional state. Simply put, imagine bad things occurring so that when and if they do, they feel familiar, rather than surprising. This is especially useful if you are quick to anger or to other emotions, but it is useful for everyone. By running over scenarios in your mind you will find that these things will slowly lose their ability to push you towards a rash decision. It is a slow process but over time you will see that you are developing the ability to ‘pause’ your feelings for at least a few moments and once you’ve learned to apply solid reason in those moments it can make all of the difference. So, how do we practice negative visualization? Let’s start by getting a notebook. Spend a weekend making a list of things that you value in life. They can be anything. Beloved keepsakes. Your job. People who are important to you. Maybe you own a house or your grandfather’s boat. Spend a little time on your list, aside from serving our purpose for this exercise it will also teach you a lot about your current values. The reason that we are doing this, aside from teaching you how to lose your fear of the worst, is also to give you an idea of how much freedom we give up by attaching too much to material things. Epictetus tells us in Discourses

that such attachments make us a slave to these things: “You should dissociate yourself from everything outside yourself – the body, possessions, reputation, books, applause, as well as an office or lack of office. Because a preference for any of them immediately makes you a slave, a subordinate, and prone to disappointment.” [22] This also extends to things that we desire which are controlled by others. In chapter 14 he continues this thought, advising us that whoever controls the things that we want, love, or hate, ultimately controls us. If you want to be free, don’t let yourself long for things that someone else is in control of. Think about it logically... If they get to decide whether or not you get to have a thing, then they are controlling you when you get it. Don’t exchange your freedom for ‘things’ . Let that sink in a little. Remember that a Stoic values only their reason and the things which they can control. It’s the only way to be truly free. Material goods come and go. Fortunes are made and broken in an instant. Your job? It is very rare that someone has only one job in their life. With these principles in mind, we will now want to take advantage of our list and start meditating on the things which we have written down. Craft your own scenarios or you can use our examples and you should devote 10 minutes to each meditation, two times a week. It is important that we also state at this time that there is a fine line between negative visualization and anxiety. Keep the visualization confined to your exercises and if a particular exercise upsets you too much at this stage of your self-training, then do a different exercise instead. We want to prepare you for anxiety, not exacerbate it.

The example scenarios are as follows: How would you deal with the loss of a loved one? - We all have people in our lives that we value. Mentors, family members, good friends... and every one of them is human and they are going to die someday. Denying this will not change it and when it comes to things which can impact us the hardest in life, the passing of a loved one is quite possibly number one on the list. With this in mind, meditate on what you would do if you found out that this person has passed. What impact would it have on your life? While it seems morbid, this negative visualization can help to ensure that you are stronger when the eventuality arrives. What if you lost your current job? - If you lost your current job, how would you cope? Be constructive. Rather than meditating on the choice things that you might tell that one particular manager, focus on what constructive actions you would take. Would you apply for unemployment before hunting for a new job or live on your savings? Would you immediately move into a smaller place or seek out a roommate? Explore this scenario thoroughly and you will be prepared should it occur. What if your home was burglarized and your keepsakes were stolen? - If your pictures, jewelry, or other sentimental items were stolen, how would you cope? Again, try to be constructive. Would you check local pawn shops? File a report with the police? Would the pictures not be a problem because you have copied them? Ultimately we can only keep the memories but we attach a lot of worth to the things that we keep so take a leap and imagine what you would do if they were taken away from you. What if you got hurt and could no longer play your favorite sport? - If you got into a car accident or took a nasty fall that meant you would walk with a limp and possibly a little pain and could no longer play a sport that you love, how would you get past this? Would you start a website dedicated to your sport so that you participate through commentary? Would you sponsor a local team? Meditate on this and determine what it means to you and how you would ‘fill the hole’ if the worst should occur. What if you could no longer afford to eat out? - Sometimes in the ‘rat race’ we become reliant on those moments when we can treat

ourselves to an evening out. If your work is particularly demanding then sometimes it seems like this is the only time that you can relax. So imagine that you no longer had the funds to do this. How would you entertain yourself? Are there other ways that you could reward yourself without spending finances? What if you could no longer afford the internet or cable? - We take the internet and our staggering assortments of channels to watch for granted. If you could no longer afford these things, what would you do? You could read more, for one thing. Would you get a second job to get these things back, sacrificing your time so that you can sacrifice more time? This visualization will help you to understand your reliance on these things, especially if you grew up using the library instead of the internet. What if you flubbed a project at work and lost the respect of your coworkers? - This visualization helps to drive home a couple of things. First, it forces you to take into account how much you value the opinions of others. While a healthy respect for what your boss thinks is a good thing, caring too much about the opinions of others can lead us to paranoid anxiety. Secondly, it gives you a chance to outline a course of action should this sort of scenario occur. So let’s imagine that you didn’t meet a project deadline or that your work was considered only ‘passable’ on an important project. How would you deal with this? Would you swallow your pride and ask your boss for a meeting so that you could determine what might have been done better? Would you humbly solicit the opinions of your coworkers in an attempt to learn from the experience? Maybe the next time you are working on a project you would resolve to be more diligent or even ‘take the project home’ to do extra, unpaid work. Use this negative visualization to strengthen yourself and to help affirm what you can accomplish by deeds and honest intent at the cost of pride. You’ll be stronger for it. These are just a few examples but if you use them as a foundation then you can surely come up with some of your own. The important thing (especially if you are a natural ‘worrier’) is to keep these things constructive. Don’t dwell on who you would yell at or go into the visualization thinking ‘of

course this could never happen’ the whole time. If you do this then you are missing the point . Negative visualization is a tool that the Stoic uses to be prepared. When the worst comes it generally comes by surprise. Think of it like this. Soldiers in the military are routinely ‘subjected to the unexpected’ until they learn to act instinctually in certain scenarios. Negative visualization works on the same premise. If we take a little time each week to reaffirm our ‘action plans’ for the scenarios which emotionally threaten us the most then it stands to reason we will be better prepared when they do. Exercise your powers of reason before life forces you to. It’s the Stoic way!

Chapter 9 - Developing A Stoic Immunity To The Influences Of Others People and surroundings affect us in a number of interesting ways. For instance, have you ever had a roommate that could always ‘push your buttons’ with the things which they did at home? Maybe they always had a habit of leaving a single, unclean dish in the sink to wait for you or perhaps they liked to cut their toenails on the couch. Now that you are far away from the situation, perhaps you’ve noticed that at the time you had a job where you put up with things which are arguably 100 times worse and yet when you were there, those things didn’t bother you. Welcome to the wonderful world of impressions! Seneca noticed this, stating in his Moral and Political Essays’: “So what is it that in public fails to annoy them but at home provokes them? Simply their own opinion, reasonable and tolerant out there, moody and cross at home.” “So what is it that in public fails to annoy them but at home provokes them? Simply their own opinion, reasonable and tolerant out there, moody and cross at home.” [23] It seems rather simple on the offset but give it a moment of thought. If we accept the conjecture that the things that the roommate did, while unpleasant, were certainly no worse than things which we were dealing with almost every day at that time, then it must follow that we must ask ourselves, ‘why did I let that affect me so?’ Things like this happen because we allow them to. We give people too much power over our lives. Facebook and other social media platforms are a great

example of this. While the concept is the idea that friends can keep each other apprised of their lives, what actually occurs is that the daily updates and the dissemination of opinions have become a replacement for actual socialization. At its worst, a popularity contest. People write about what they’ve had for lunch, for instance. Do you really need to know this? The other peril of social platforms is this. Like Seneca tells us about our behavior at home vs. our behavior in public, in an online forum it is easy to find ourselves ‘playing a role’ rather than simply being ourselves. The easiest example that you can see of this is when it comes to ‘online altercations’. Close friends of ours who’ve never had a physical fight in their life get online and begin channeling their inner ‘Chuck Norris’, giving out physical threats like candy. Our online personas become gross exaggerations of who you are in real life . Now, we aren’t saying that you should give up social media completely but what if you were to take a 1 or 2-week break from them? Try this as an experiment so that you can determine the actual benefits in your life from social media. Take 2 weeks off from it and then return and spend the next week taking notes about the following: Any time someone posts their meal Any time someone picks a fight they’d never even stand close to in the ‘real world’ Any time someone makes a comment obviously designed to provoke an emotional response (not even just ‘trolls’, look for people citing causes that provoke an emotional response that they post about but never ‘do’ anything about, in this case ‘doing something about’ means volunteering their time or donating to a particular cause) Any time someone wants to justify their behavior by posting about it and essentially calling on a ‘public vote’ based on their popularity

Any time someone posts about a new material good How many posts will be left? ‘Shouldn’t we brag about things we have accomplished?’, you ask. In ‘Discourses’ we are taught: “Let silence be your goal for the most part; say only what is necessary, and be brief about it. On the rare occasions when you’re called upon to speak, then speak, but never about banalities like gladiators, horses, sports, food and drink – commonplace stuff. Above all don’t gossip about people, praising, blaming or comparing them.” [24 ] Indeed, Epictetus takes it further in stating we shouldn’t even tell people that we are learning philosophy, unless asked, as it puts us at risk of sharing a lot of information that we might not yet have fully digested. When you are no longer afraid that silence might mark you as ‘ignorant’ then you are well on your way to becoming a true philosopher. People are always going to have opinions about you and about things which you feel strongly about. The Stoic learns that this is not something to be concerned about. If you are showing your character by your deeds, rather than your words, then YOU know that you are virtuous. Others will realize it as well, noticing that you choose to ACT rather than to speak. While people may still talk bad about you they will not be able to hurt you unless you let them. If you are living virtuously, you cannot be disgraced. After all, if you know that you value reason above all things and that you are constantly giving back to your community as a Stoic should, what do you have to feel disgraced about? If someone who envies your strength of

character chooses to try to ‘bring you down’ with their words, consider that it doesn’t have to be born of spite. It could be that they simply are not ready to contemplate an existence such as you are currently cultivating. You should feel pity for them rather than choosing to take offense. Like a child, they simply don’t know any better. Now, we aren’t advocating that you always think yourself the adult and everyone else a child, of course. Rather you need to accept that everyone can only live life according to their own beliefs and views. As such, you cannot dictate nor sometimes even predict how they will behave in any situation. Here is a good example. If Joe from Accounting has had too much to drink at the work Christmas party and starts yelling about his department hiring someone ‘outside of the company’ for ‘his promotion’, it is certainly an uncomfortable situation. If he is yelling at someone you work with then you might want to jump in and defend them. Maybe you’ve decided Joe is an alcoholic because he can’t control his drinking at the Christmas party in the first place. Then you find out on Monday that Sheila from H.R. spiked the Christmas punch with alcohol and that Joe, who is taking a lot of medication to deal with depression, had no idea of this and is lucky that the mixture of alcohol and antidepressants didn’t kill him. Whoops. Weaning yourself from the habit of making a snap judgment is one of the hardest things that you will learn as a Stoic but it is one of the most important ones. Just as you should not allow the opinions of others to harm you, you should also not let yourself stand in judgment of others. Life is a complicated place and you never have any way of knowing if that stranger on the bus is

rude to you because they woke up on the wrong side of the bed or because they’ve just lost a family member to cancer or lost custody of their only child. As there is no way to know all of the variables in this person’s life, is it not better to assume that they have reason to behave the way that they do, even if it is not visibly apparent to us? It is arguably MORE logical to assume that this is the case. Sure, there are always ‘jerks’, but behavior such as this comes from its own source as well, so unless you can instantly see every detail in another person’s life, it is best just to keep things simple . A Stoic should take no offense from another’s opinion because that person is just being themselves. It’s simple to contemplate, but a challenge to put into practice. One exception, of course, is Critics. If they say something useful that can help you to improve yourself, then you would be a fool to take offense and become angry with them. They’ve just told you, quite graciously, the means by which you might improve yourself. This is an important distinction to learn and it takes the sting out of criticism. If someone tells you, ‘your work could be improved with an organized spreadsheet’ or ‘I didn’t understand half of that’ then you have a genuine concern . This is not a personal attack, it is someone telling you how your work could have been better.

If the critic instead says, ‘you don’t know what you’re talking about’ or ‘it’s more complicated than that’ (without offering reasons why they think your approach was uninformed or simplistic) then you should simply smile and let it go. You cannot control the opinions of others so get in the habit of investing your time in the things which you CAN control.

Chapter 10 - The Material World Is Transient Through negative visualization and voluntary discomfort, the Stoic teaches themselves not only to endure but to transcend the reliance on creaturecomforts. Epictetus says to us in Discourses: “We are at the mercy of whoever wields authority over the things we either desire or detest.” [25] Ultimately, if your happiness is reliant on material goods, then you should expect disappointment. History is filled with stories of people who have had great riches or fame and suddenly found themselves stripped of it. A Stoic realizes that their own happiness does not come from deeds, but from sound reason and virtuous living. How many things do you have in your life that are luxuries which you never use? Some people buy a boat, for instance, and sail it only once a year. If you live in the country, maybe you bought a horse and while it is well taken care of, it is never ridden. Other examples might be that gaming system that you bought and got bored of in a month or a fancy sports car that raised your insurance rates and quickly lost its luster in less than a year. Despite the evidence that we tend to overindulge, each year we accrue more things that we will likely use once (if we use them at all.). A large part of this is the commercialism of our society and the belief that you are not successful if you don’t have the latest flat-screen TV or speakers that are better than some local, live bands are using. A Stoic realizes that they do not need these fancy things to be happy .

Think about it a bit. Were there no times in your life before these things where you felt happy? Negative visualization and voluntary discomfort will also help to truly drive this lesson home, so make sure that you are practicing weekly. When you make your happiness reliant on the number of things which you own then you are setting yourself up for disappointment and you are giving up your freedom. ‘How is owning a lot of things making me less free?’, you ask. Let’s explore this a little. How many extra hours have you put in at jobs that you disliked simply for a bigger paycheck? How much time did that cost you with your family or take from your hobbies? How many times have you heard or said the phrase, ‘I haven’t had a vacation in years’. There is more to life than money and making money. Yes, you do HAVE to work for a living. Everyone does. Once you have empowered yourself through your Stoic exercises to realize that you can be happy without a huge collection of material things and that you can be respected for your deeds rather than the size of your house or your jewelry collection, then you will truly be free. Take a mental inventory of some of the things that you own today and ask yourself, ‘is this practical?’. Cars are a good example. You need your car to get from point A to point B. You want it to be fuel-efficient and reliable. So, why do we tend to get the flashy models? At some point commercialism convinced us the societal fallacy that the things which we own are the ultimate expressions of ourselves. If you drive a crappy car, you must be poor and unsuccessful. If you prefer comfortable

sneakers to fine Italian shoes then something must be wrong with you. Maybe you are a loser. Isn’t it silly? When did it become a crime to be practical or simply comfortable? The Stoic knows that the only thing that truly belongs to them is their reason, the impressions that they choose to take. On the subject of bragging about things that you own, Epictetus warns us something that we know deep-down (but don’t like to admit), that we are selling the qualities of the material goods as our own.: He says, “Don’t pride yourself on any assets but your own. We could put up with a horse if it bragged of its beauty. But don’t you see that when you boast of having a beautiful horse, you are taking credit for the horse’s traits? What quality belongs to you? The intelligent use of impressions.” [26 ] He continues to state that if you are able to control the impressions which you allow yourself to receive from things, so that you do not rely on the opinions of others or need material goods for your happiness, then by all means, you can indulge your pride in that regard. Giving yourself freedom from judgments and material goods is definitely something to brag about. History shows us that Stoics of the past indeed ‘practiced what they preached’. One story which is shared in Seneca’s ‘Letters from a Stoic’ speaks of a man named Stilbo who had just lost his wife and children during the sack of his city but was found to be alone... yet still happy. When asked by his conqueror, a man named Demetrius whether he had lost anything he replied to him, ‘All my possessions are with me’.

“... meaning by this the qualities of a just, a good and an enlightened character, and indeed the very fact of not regarding as valuable anything that is capable of being taken away.” [27] This is a powerful example. Seneca tells us that the words of Stilbo were ‘equally the words of the Stoic’, for as cities burned to ashes he carried with him always the self-contentment that he had achieved and THIS was the line that he set to define his happiness. As a Stoic, instead of valuing possessions you must learn to value your own self-control. This doesn’t mean that you can’t own anything nice, of course, but why not be practical? You can get an art print instead of an original, for instance, and still enjoy its beauty. Instead of a closetful of clothes that you never wear, make a handful of practical selections and give away those extras to charity, thus helping your community at the same time that you are working towards a more minimalist lifestyle ? How many pairs of shoes do you really need? How many jackets? If you find that you are constantly keeping a number of items in storage that you never use then we would challenge you to take an inventory over the weekend of these things and to start getting rid of them. This is the first step in minimizing the control that these material possessions have on you. Hang on to your keepsakes, of course. There will be pictures and other things that you love that you will want to keep. While viewed as ‘emotionless’, Stoics are human like everyone else, and there will be things that you do not wish to part with. The important part is knowing that if you DID have to part with them that you would still be in control of your happiness. By reducing your possessions down to the things that you use every day then you will have made an important first step towards freeing yourself from these things. If you are loathe to give these things up, then rent a storage space and reduce the belongings in your house by one-half and vow to live this way for a month. Take it a step further if you have the strength, by eschewing Television or social media for days or even weeks during this

time. After the ‘test period’ that you have set for yourself then it is time to take a good, honest accounting of how you lived without these things. If you find that you still need them then you can simply go and get them out of storage but we think that you find that you never needed all those distractions in the first place. It’s all about freedom. Once you have achieved freedom from material possessions and from the ‘pressures’ of feeling that you must always work overtime ‘to stay competitive’ then you will begin to see just how much your own happiness is truly within your control . You are not your car or your house. You are not your bank account. You’re not what other people say that you are. These are all things that are transient or beyond your control. So strip away the things that enslave you that which you cannot control nor truly own. They only distract you from defining your OWN happiness through virtuous living and reason.

Chapter 11 - Amor Fati And Memento Mori Two liberating concepts that every Stoic must embrace are ‘Amor Fati’ and ‘Memento Mori’. The first term means ‘to love your fate’ and if you can master this one alone your life will be substantially better. So what does it mean, to ‘love your fate’? Loving your fate means that all of the things which have happened in your life... all of the good AND all of the bad. The reasoning behind this ultimate ‘taking of impressions’ is this. You cannot control your past. You can only control the impressions which you choose to take of it. You cannot control many of the things to come and so, rather than spend all night worrying about what you cannot control, you should learn to love your fate instead. Let’s talk about some practical examples. Let’s say that your father left you when you were young and so you were consequently raised only by your mother. While this is a painful thing, this is not something over which you had control. So, how should one control the impressions which they take from this? Well, you could choose to be thankful that you had more attention from your mother. You could choose to take strength from knowing that your own morality would not allow you to do the same to your own family. If, when your parents separated, you still spent time with your father and time with your mother, then maybe you learned that a couple can separate and still provide the love and support which a child needs. Your past belongs to you alone and it is for you to decide how it is interpreted. Once you have learned this, what was formerly a ‘weight on your shoulders’ can be relegated to what it truly is. A learning experience... a foundation that is unique to you. Regret is a waste of time, just as worry for your future. Now, we aren’t saying that you should be nihilistic about your future, only

this: If you live your life virtuously, valuing your own reason and selfcontrol, and serving your community then no matter what happens you will live a happy life. The largest contributor to unhappiness is the feeling that we are not in control and it’s a fair one, so chase your happiness by exerting your control over the things which you CAN influence. What of our second term, then? What does ‘Memento Mori’ mean? Literally, it translates out to ‘remember that you will die’. This does not mean that you should fear death but rather, that one day everyone meets the same fate and so it is not something for you to be afraid of. In ‘Letter to Menoceus’ Epicurus states the following argument : “Foolish, therefore, is the man who says that he fears death, not because it will pain when it comes, but because it pains in the prospect. Whatever causes no annoyance when it is present, causes only a groundless pain in the expectation. Death, therefore, the most awful of evils, is nothing to us, seeing that, when we are, death is not come, and, when death is come, we are not” [28]

It’s a good argument. Why does something you cannot know inspire such dread? No one knows when they will die, only that it is certain. Let this reality be enough. It falls into that category of ‘things you cannot change’ and as a Stoic, you need to focus on the things which you can control. Many of us have grandparents or parents who have demonstrated this. Have you ever had a relatively quietly prepare their own burial and will, living happily until their last day? They understood the essence of Memento Mori. You can’t change the eventuality but you can learn to accept it and be happy anyways. It’s as easy and complex as that.

These two concepts work together in unison to make you, as a Stoic, more productive and happy. Without the worry that we are destined to be a ‘loser’ or that we will die unfulfilled, we are free to be happy. When you no longer feel like you are out of control of your life then you will be free to start enjoying the fruits of your influence. Were the Stoics truly not afraid of death? One of the earliest stories in Discourses mentions Paconius Agrippinus [28] who, when told of his impending execution, calmly enjoyed lunch with his friends. ‘If I have to die now, I’ll die, but if not, I have lunch to tend to.’ Let’s discuss an example of Amor Fati and Memento Mori working in tandem. ‘I always thought I’d be a doctor by now’ Okay, you haven’t gone to medical school and so you are not a doctor. Your past decisions cannot be un-made. Amor Fati, it’s done, love your choices. That was you exercising your control. Certainly you enjoyed some of your decisions during the time that you weren’t going to medical school. You take the good and the bad, because the ‘bad’ is only harmful if you let it be. So, what can you control in this case? If it is truly important for you to be a doctor, you CAN start medical school. You might argue, ‘but I’m too old’ . Enter Memento Mori.

Nobody knows when they will die. You might start school now and die before you finish it or you might find that you have the career that you desire and spend some very fruitful twilight years helping yourself and your community. You might even realize that you can be happy in other ways. By embracing your past then you won’t have to look at it with regret, only pride that you have made your own way through the jungles of life. By choosing to live virtuously now, without fear of death or regret of past decisions, you are ready to finally be happy and free. Embrace your fate and accept your own mortality, you’ve got important things to do!

Chapter 12 - Stoicism And Its Influences On Religion Stoicism has had a profound religious impact despite that it is not a religion unto itself. If you are wondering if Stoic philosophy interferes in any way with your religious beliefs then you should not worry. We’ll explain a little about its impacts from a religious perspective and describe how some similar ideas abound through other religions. It’s a good sign that what you are learning is wise when you can see many of the same teachings flowing into other philosophies. Let’s start with Christianity. It has been pointed out that the influence of Stoicism on Christianity is to be expected and for a good reason: “Christianity being rooted in Stoicism is natural as before Christianity, it was Stoicism, which dominated the Roman region for several centuries. And most Christian leaders of the early church were Stoics.” [30] It’s true. Many Stoic ideas were adopted into the religious framework. Paul the Apostle is a good example. Well familiar with Greco-Roman culture, Paul’s quotations often reflect Greek and Roman philosophical concepts of the time. For example, look at Acts 17:26-28 from the Bible: “…he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands.” [31] Now, let’s compare it to something which Seneca said:

“We are members of a vast body. Nature made us kin, when she produced us from the same things and to the same ends.” [32] As you can see, these phrases direct towards the same ends, with Paul’s crediting God vs. Seneca crediting Nature. Seneca also mentions in his ‘Conduct of Life that: “The whole world is the temple of the immortal gods,” [33] This is a statement which Paul echoes as well in Acts 7:48-49 when he says, “Howbeit the most High dwelleth not in temples made with hands; as saith the prophet.” [34] As you can see there are some interesting parallels. Paul also had a fondness for quoting Plato as well and if you are familiar with Plato’s works you can spot them coming out in Paul’s quotations. Another famous religious figure who, like Paul, was fond of Seneca, was Thomas Aquinas. The Dominican Friar, Catholic Priest, and Philosopher, Aquinas devoted much of his time to reconciling the works of philosophers such as Aristotle and Plato with Biblical texts of revelation. So are there are other places in which we find resonant concepts which are also parts of Stoicism? It might interest you to know that some parallels are cited in Buddhist teachings. For instance, Stoicism teaches us to see things as they really are so that life loses its sting and so that we are more open to achieving our own enlightenment and happiness.

Epictetus tells us in ‘Discourses’, for instance, that we should understand and accept the workings of nature, realizing that all material things, even our bodies, are not truly ours to own. As such, death is natural, material things coming and going throughout our lives is natural... and to wish for Nature to change, he says, is the equivalent of wishing for grapes or figs to grow for you in winter. It is unrealistic and you’ll only be unhappy. Buddhism espouses a very strong opinion on the subject of material goods and suffering as well. It was founded by Siddhartha Gautama, who went out into the world as a prince and, upon seeing all of the sufferings there, began to meditate and to finally conclude that the cause of all suffering was desire. Buddhism eschews the material, valuing wisdom, happiness, and enlightenment. As a further example that the life-leanings are actually quite similar in many ways, take this Buddhist quote : “The seers of old had fully restrained selves, and were austere. Having abandoned the five strands of sensual pleasures, they practiced their own welfare. The Brahmans had no cattle, no gold, no wealth. They had study as their wealth and grain. They guarded the holy life as their treasure.” [35] Compare this with Stoicism, which values reason above all of those things which can enslave us in life. It’s a powerful affirmation to see that the wisdom of the Greek philosophers is sound. You might be wondering if some of this is the cross-pollination of Buddhist ideals. As to whether this is the case, it is impossible to say with certainty, but we can say this. Buddhism was founded about 500 B.C. and Stoicism, around 300 B.C. and we know that the founder of Skepticism, Pyrrho [36] , spoke of a concept called ‘ataraxia’ which meant ‘freedom from worry’. Pyrro, incidentally, traveled with Alexander the Great into India and studied some philosophy there, so a cross-pollination is a possibility from both sides. It is also possible that both simply arrived at this particular concept at the

same time. Wisdom is wisdom, after all. If you wish to know a little more about the influence of Stoicism in religion, it is highly recommended that you research the subject a bit on your own. As you familiarize yourself with Epictetus, Seneca, Aristotle, Plato, Socrates, and more, you’ll find examples popping up everywhere where you least expect them. You might even find that some of the quotes which you are fond of already have roots in Stoicism. Ultimately, while practiced largely by Agnostics and Atheists, the practice of Stoicism will not alienate you from your religion, so if you came into this chapter worried about this then you can rest easy . Stoicism is a life philosophy and a key to happiness and as you can see, it has ideas that span both time and geography and still prove valid.

Chapter 13 - Does Stoicism Still Apply In The Modern Day? When it comes to philosophy a lot of us have the preconception that while it might be interesting, there is not going to be a lot of relevance to the troubles and tribulations of today. Not so, with Stoicism. For instance, it might interest you to know that many famous and successful people you might be familiar with are fans of or practitioners of Stoicism. Some examples include: Arnold Schwarzenegger - Famous for weight lifting, acting, and lately, for the governing of California, Mr. Schwarzenegger is a selfprofessed fan of Stoicism. John ‘Joe’ Madden - Manager of the Chicago Cubs, Joe has expressed that he is a fan of Holiday’s ‘The Obstacle is the Way’, a book on Stoicism which has become very popular for sports enthusiasts and professionals. T-Pain - This Grammy award winner has gone Platinum 6 times and has also recorded an album entitled ‘Stoicville’ and another called ‘The Stoic Mixtape.’ Tom Hiddleston - Famous from ‘The Avengers’ and ‘Thor’ blockbuster movies, Mr. Hiddleston professes a love for reading Seneca. JK Rowling - JK Rowling, author of the famous ‘Harry Potter’ series has confessed to a fondness for the ‘Meditations’ of Marcus Aurelius. As you can see, popularity persists, and it’s not a new trend. George Washington and Thomas Jefferson were also fans of Stoic ideals and writings. The reason is simply this. While technology changes, the matters in which we deal with on a daily basis do not.

We deal with personal disappointments, death, the fight for success and selfvalidation... all of which Stoicism deals with as readily now as it did at its inception. A large part of this may have to do with the ‘minimalist’ approach which Stoicism takes by advising us to push for a simpler, happier life, which is as free from fruitless distractions as we can make it. You will notice that quite a few books on Stoicism are popular today, another sign of its validity in the modern age. Aside from Holiday’s ‘The Obstacle is the Way’ there are a number of books out there to familiarize you with further teachings of Epictetus, Seneca, and Aurelius, but if you are curious to read in-depth how Stoicism has influenced people in modern times we would highly recommend ‘Stoicism Today’ . It includes everything from Stoic theory, life stories, and even Stoic influences on Star Trek.[37] There are also some excellent documentaries such as ‘How to live: Philosophy’ that reference Stoicism and some fun examples like ‘Stoicism in the Shawshank redemption’ which you can find on Youtube . The best comparison, however, is taking some of the teachings and giving a little contemplation as to what a modern application might be. Let’s take a few examples from Epictetus and Seneca and see how they apply, starting with Seneca’s warning about the wasting of time from ‘Hardship and Happiness’. “But no one values time: all use it more than lavishly, as if it cost nothing. But if mortal danger threatens them, you’ll see the same people clasping their doctors’ knees; if they fear a capital charge, you’ll see them ready to spend all they have to stay alive. So great is the conflict in their feelings.” [38] Stoics value their own reason and their control and time is an important part of this. Does this still apply today? Of course. How much time do you spend on Facebook or watching reruns on your television? What about staying in bed and sleeping in?

Now, let’s say that your doctor tells you that you’ve got approximately one year left to live. What would you spend that time on? As a Stoic you should accept that no one knows exactly when they will die and that by this logic, spending your time as if the doctor has just given you a final approximation of your days is a very sensible idea. Further in the same treatise, Seneca points out the folly in allowing others to decide how and when we should express our emotions: “Indeed, most men shed tears for show and have dry eyes whenever they have no onlooker, thinking it shameful not to weep when everyone is doing it. This evil of depending on other men’s opinion has implanted itself so deeply that even the simplest matter, grief, has turned into pretense.” [39 ] Arguably this issue is timeless. Letting the public opinion sway us to such an effect that even grief is no longer allowed to be personal. While it is a difficult lesson to learn, through your meditations and your own readings of the Stoic philosophies you will, with practice, finally accept the realization that you cannot control the opinions of others and as such, they are not a worthy concern. Epictetus has a humorous example that demonstrates the Stoic practice of ‘taking impressions’ so that the world doesn’t ‘get to us.’ In Discourses he relates a mock-conversation which goes: “But my nose is running!” What do you have hands for, idiot, if not to wipe it ?

‘But how is it right that there be running noses in the first place?’ Instead of thinking up protests, wouldn’t it be easier just to wipe your nose?” [40]

This sort of conversation is familiar to all of us, and Epictetus was relating it to his students in the second century. The lesson certainly still applies. Some people are in the habit of whining about things which they cannot change instead of focusing on the things which they actually can. It’s amusing when someone is talking about their nose running but, of course, the stresses can be of the more dramatic variety. The car has broken down and there are no funds to fix it. Your job has laid off a quarter of their workforce and you are included. As a Stoic, once you’ve learned to recognize what you can control, then these things can be as humorous and ineffectual against you as that runny nose. You can simply ‘wipe it’ and move forward. These are just a few examples but they are powerful ones and we challenge you to open up something from Seneca, turn to a random page, and see if you don’t read a lesson that calls to you. Stoicism simply works... it always has and it always will.

Chapter 14 - Stoic Psychology: Those Ancient Greeks Were RIGHT Stoicism, with its focus on control and practices such as voluntary hardship and negative visualization, has naturally become integrated into psychology as a tool for healing. It’s healing potential for the spirit was largely looked over until the beginning of the 20th century when a Swiss Psychiatrist by the name of Paul Dubois began teaching Stoicism to his patients and using Socratic methods of questioning in his practice. An article on the subject in a magazine entitled, ‘The Behavioral Therapist’ quoted: “Dubois also noticed that, paradoxically, the Stoic words of advice he read in the letters of the philosopher Seneca “seem to be drawn from a modern treatise on psychotherapy,” although written in the first century AD.” [41 ] Stoicism was quite popular again at this point, even making its way into the famous ‘Serenity Prayer’ in 1930: “God, give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” After a brief eclipse for a trend in Freudian psychology, Stoic philosophy would once again be the talk of psychiatrists from the 1950s and on into the modern-day. Some examples where Stoicism appears to be at play are easy to find. For instance, remember our negative visualization technique? There is a form of psychological treatment which is known as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy . Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is designed to help one to think more

realistically in regards to stressful situations. It includes various techniques that help someone to this effect. For instance, CBT treatment might include keeping a thought journal for reviewing one’s daily thinking processes and noting stimuli that are affecting this. It might involve small challenges to face our fears, such as ‘I will socialize one time every week for one hour’. While it is predominantly concerned with minimizing anxiety and stress levels it is readily apparent how the tools which are in play with Cognitive Behavioral therapy are quite similar to Stoic control exercises. In 1955, another treatment strategy arose which quickly gained popularity. Rational Emotive Behavioral therapy. While often considered synonymous with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, REBT is actually more concerned with the philosophical base of the treatment. That is to say, it is more for a longterm solution rather than to alleviate specific symptoms. Let’s give a few examples which can demonstrate its difference from CBT in a little better detail: Stress On Problem Acceptance - REBT insists that the person accepts that there are issues and those close to them will need to accept this as well, something not required with Cognitive Behavioral therapy. Acceptance Of Self - An enforced acceptance of one’s self, faults and all, is heavily endorsed with REBT but not required with CBT. ‘Taking Impressions’ - A heavy portion of REBT practice involves seeing things in a different light, taking the view of another or a sort of ‘birds-eye’ view of a situation. This is similar to ‘Plato’s view’, which we will discuss shortly. Another example of a Philosophical approach in Psychology which is quite popular today is Mindfulness. Mindfulness is the practice of ‘taking a step back’ from a situation in order to prevent an emotive or otherwise undesirable response. It is quite similar to the advice which we receive in Marcus Aurelius’s ‘Meditations’, where we are taught ‘Plato’s view’.

To take ‘Plato’s view’ is to try viewing the world in your mind as if you were above it and could understand everything. If you could all of the different people, all of their lives as unique to them as your own is to you, and observe their failures, triumphs, cultural differences, and all of the other variables that go into being an individual... then you would understand how little importance another’s opinion truly is to you. While CBT, REBT, and Mindfulness have some Stoic roots to them, as times progress there are other behavioral psychologies emerging which, in turn, borrow from these practices, along with our emerging understanding of neuroscience, and creating new treatment options such as ‘ Compassionate Mind training’. Now, while Stoicism has certainly influenced Psychology, it is not a substitute for medical treatment. Many of the behavioral exercises which are encouraged by Stoicism are designed specifically with the thought of giving yourself more control, however, and may certainly be used in conjunction with any therapy you might be receiving as long as your doctor is not averse to it. A lot of the modern borrowing of Stoic teachings has to do with the idea of the doctrine of passions. This was conjecture that the nature of the soul was that it has both rational and irrational parts whose manifestations sometimes became a challenge to our logic. An example would be enjoyment. It’s okay to enjoy your sandwich, but it’s irrational to eat multiple sandwiches until your stomach hurts. This is a basic example, but it explains where passions can go wrong and lead to a fallacy in thinking, in this case: ‘One sandwich was great, 10 would be 10 times as great!’ To help combat this, of course, the Stoic practices such things as Negative Visualization and Voluntary discomfort. A Stoic might decide to reduce their belongings and take a Minimalist approach to living. This can help to

separate one’s self from the basic temptations. Other passions can arise from things such as false judgment. We have a tendency to ‘dig in’ when we are arguing or debating a point with someone and modern psychology shows that we habitually become untenable to changing our minds. This is another type of passion that, without practice in ‘Plato’s view’, can get you in trouble. How many times have you gotten into an argument and then found out that not only were you wrong, but that you would rather avoid conversation with the other person, perhaps even treat them with hostility rather than simply apologize and concede? Stoicism can help you to get out of that habit. A critique is a chance to learn, not a reason to fight. If someone gives you a contrary opinion on something and their opinion has merit, is there not more shame in refusing to submit to reason, simply for pride? Along with the Stoic exercises, some modern psychological exercises can be used to enforce Stoic behaviors and attitudes. If you would like to know more about employing these, as well as the evolution of Psychology attributed to Stoic ideals, some good books on the subject are as follows: Engberg-Pedersen, Troels; “Marcus Aurelius on Emotions” Annas, Julia, “Hellenistic Philosophy of Mind.” Inwood, Brad, “Seneca and psychological dualism” Whatever tactics that you choose, be they traditional exercises or some of the modern thought exercise regimens, such as those from Rational Emotive Behavioral therapy, just remember that the goal is control and this sort of self-discipline is not achieved overnight. It is, however, achievable. As you start reading Seneca, Epictetus, and Aurelius on your own you’ll be given numerous examples of people who HAVE achieved us.

Logic tells us that you can too.

Conclusion In these chapters we have planted the seed but now it is going to be up to you to water it. We recommend reading the words of Epictetus for yourself. Get a copy of ‘Discourses’ if you like. You can find this and many of the other philosophy classics from Marcus Aurelius and Seneca for free online or for a treat, take some time at your local library to sit down, relax, and build a little on the foundation which we have provided for you. Learn what you can control and you will be happy and fulfilled. Understand how to recognize constructive criticism when it is presented. Stop worrying about the opinions of others. Value your growing sense of reason. It is the only thing which you may truly own. Now find your happiness, Stoic. It’s waiting for you to recognize it!

References 1. Holiday, Ryan; ‘The Obstacle is the Way’ 2. Penguin Classics - Epictetus, ‘Discourses’, [2] ‘On Death’ pp. 474.1 [3] ‘On Critics’ pp. 497.4 [4] ‘On death or living’ pp. 463.2 [5] ‘On whom to consort with’ 492.8 [7] ‘Don’t be lazy’; pp. 502.9 [8] ‘On doing what is right’; pp. 494.6 [9] ‘On Temperance’ ; pp. 496.7 [10] ‘On being part of a community’; pp.207.9 [12] ‘on family’; pp.222.7 [13] ‘yelling at family’; pp. 223.4 [16] ‘Critics’; Chapter 42 [17] ‘on insults’; pp.155.5 [18] ‘on impressions’; chapter 1 0 [22] ‘on property’; pp. 438.5 [24] ‘on silence’; pp. 490.8 [25] ‘what you desire enslaves you’; pp.476.1 [26] ‘what you desire enslaves you pt 2’ pp.471.6 [40] ‘on overcoming hardship’; pp.74 3. Aurelius, Marcus - ‘Meditations’ [4] ‘View from Above’ [11] ‘Types of men’; pp.21

14. Seneca -’ Selected letters (Oxford 2010)’; pp.33 19. Seneca - ‘Selected letters (Oxford 2010)’; pp.33 15. Seneca - ‘On the shortness of life’; pp. 7.7 20. Epictetus - ‘Of Human Freedom’; pp. 29.1 21. Tacitus; ‘Annals’; pp.15.61 23. Seneca; ‘Moral and Political Essays (Cambridge’); pp.11 0 [27] Seneca; ‘Letters from a Stoic’; pp.87.5 [28] Epicurus; ‘Letters to Menoceus’; pp.2 [29] Beckett, Thomas; ‘Stoicism Ultimate Handbook To Stoic Philosophy, Wisdom And Way’; pp.204 [30] Jacobs, Jordan ‘ STOICISM A Friendly Beginners Guide To The Ancient Philosophy Of Stoicism’ pp.53.1 [31] Biblica inc., ‘Holy Bible - New International version’; Acts 17:2628 [32] Merriam, Stuart - ‘Paul the Apostle: At the edge of faith’; pp107 [33] J.M. Dent and Company, 1899 - Lucius Annaeus Seneca; ‘Conduct of life’; pp.284 [34] Holy Bible; King James Version - Acts:7:48-49 [35] Gautama Buddha, Sutta Nipata, The Group of Discourses, K. R. Norman, trans. (Oxford: 2001), pp. 284-285 [36] McEvilly, Thomas - ‘The Shape of Ancient Thought: Comparative Studies in Greek and Indian Philosophies’ [37] Ussher, Patrick (editor); ‘Stoicism Today: Selected writings (Volume one)’; pp364 [38] Seneca, ‘Hardship and Happiness (Chicago 2014)’; pp.118 [39] Seneca, ‘Hardship and Happiness (Chicago 2014)’; pp.235 [41] D. Robertson and T. Codd, ‘ The Behavior Therapist, vol. 42, no. 2, Feb 2019’

Practical Stoicism

Your Action Guide On How To Implement The Stoic Philosophy Into Your Own Life By David Dillinger

Introduction We live in a world where no one respects their time. We have so little of it, and yet we waste it, playing games on our phones, watching reruns of shows that we've already seen, and countless hours of gossip about celebrities or things that a neighbor has that we think would make us happier. All through this, we are stuck with the feeling that something is wrong. Sure, we might have goals, but the trend is to collect them, not to achieve them, and in the end, there is the genuine fear that we'll pass without so much as rippling the pond. Stoicism is the cure for this. It is a philosophy that teaches many things, including: Stifling those emotional, knee-jerk responses that lead to bad decision making Learning to hoard your time so that you can allocate it properly The ability to appreciate the things that you have The wisdom in embracing your past and having no fear of death How to define yourself with your actions, rather than your words or your possessions These are just a few examples, but there are many, many more. For instance, you simply cannot insult a Stoic. Through exercises and the application of ancient wisdom, the Stoic knows the proper way to perceive these things. This is not a gimmick or some sort of trick. For instance, if I criticize your work, as a Stoic, your first thought would not be “my work was inferior” but rather, “is the criticism correct?” because if it IS, then the person giving you the criticism has done you a favor. It's all about perception, and in this book, we will teach you how to shape yours so that it serves you instead of harming you .

You are probably wondering at this point, “why should I believe you?”, and as an aspiring Stoic, that is a good approach. Always analyze. Well, the reason that Stoicism is as powerful an approach in the modern-day as it was in ancient Greece is simply this. It works. As you read this, people around the world are reading the wisdom of philosophers such as Seneca, Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus, Socrates, and more. If you haven't had the pleasure of the original texts, know that you will get a taste of this inside so that you can see what all of this is about. The simple truth is that these words have been translated numerous times and published around the world because they were viable in the past. And they are still viable NOW. As the quaint old saying goes, “If it ain't broke, don't fix it. ” While these words have been around since before Biblical times, your time to start discovering them and using them is brief. So, get started on reading this right now ! Remember, you cannot own possessions, even your body is only “loaned” to you, but you can own your own reason and your happiness. Read further and we'll show you how!

Chapter 1 Being A Stoic Is Not Easy So, you want to be a Stoic? The rewards are substantial when you adopt this powerful philosophy that predates Christ. We need to establish now that this is NOT an easy path. If you are willing to make an effort and “put in the time” that it takes to reshape your personal views to include Stoicism, then the rewards are countless. Epictetus said it best in his famous Discourses: "With rewards this substantial, be aware that a casual effort is not sufficient. Other ambitions will have to be sacrificed, altogether or at least for now. If you want these rewards at the same time that you are striving for power and riches, chances are you will not get to be rich and powerful while you aim for the other goal; and the rewards of freedom and happiness will elude you altogether.” [1 ] What's it going to be? Can you put in the time that it takes to reshape your behavior? In becoming a Stoic, you will need to learn, above all things, to analyze the things which you come into contact with. A Stoic can recognize the difference between an influence of nature, which cannot be changed, and the things that may be influenced by your will. Simply put, the key to your own happiness is within you and to get it you must learn to: Recognize external influences that are beyond your control Exercise your will and judgment on those things which you CAN control This seemingly simple core of Stoicism is easy to understand but to practice? That is quite another thing. The Stoics believed that this discipline must be manifest in your actions rather than your words. We recommend that you try to master one principle at a time, rather than to try and absorb them all at once. This is a difficult philosophy to master, so be sure that you are always focusing on learning a Stoic principle.

Some examples of behavior which you will wish to cultivate are as follows:

“Do Without” To Grow Strong - One of the envied attributes of the Stoics is their ability to persevere. Rich or poor, it is the same. This is because the Stoic will make it their practice to deny themselves things that many take for granted in life. This prepares them for those times in life when such things have been taken away. There are many ways you can do this. Eat simply for a week and avoid junk food, for instance. Turn off the air conditioner and use a fan or simply open the windows. Denying yourself of things you have come to expect from life will make you stronger. This is also known as “voluntary discomfort”. It is a good principle to start mastering as it will teach you to be happy with what you have. Recognize The “Good” In The “Bad” - For the Stoic, there is no bad. For example, dangerous weather such as a hurricane or tornado may devastate an island. While this is lamentable, this is the work of nature, and as such, it is not good or bad – only nature. With a practical life application, this view is compelling as well. Did you lose your job? You have the opportunity to learn patience as you look for a new one. You have a chance to get a better job. This is heavily based on the Stoic belief that perception of a thing decides how much we are influenced by a thing. Nothing can hurt you without you giving it that power -- by the way you perceive something. Accept Death Rather Than Fear It - Death is natural and it is the great equalizer. Marcus Aurelius once commented on this, stating that Alexander the Great and his horses’ Groom were the same in death. Dispersed to their atoms [2] . Think of it as a perception hack. Instead of viewing yourself as the center of the universe, by realizing that our existence is temporary (at best), you are empowered in knowing this: There is no need to stress yourself trying to build a legacy or enslave yourself to fads or unrealistic expectations and achievements. The only important thing is to live true to our natures.

“View It From Above” - Also known as “Plato's view”, whenever you feel overwhelmed, take a birds-eye view of the world and your place within it. When “viewed from above”, you can see the bigger picture. This allows us to see how insignificant many of life's challenges truly are in the scope of things. Understand What You Can Influence And Control - This is paramount. Once you understand instinctually what you can and cannot change, then the things you cannot change will lose their power to harm you. You choose what impressions you will infer from them. There is no “bad”, only opportunity. Marcus Aurelius said it nicely, “The hindrance becomes the way.” A Stoic is only concerned with what they may influence and control; anything else is a worthless distraction. Be Greedy With Your Own Time - People covet wealth and power easily, yet they seldom learn to covet the one thing that is most important-- time. Seneca speaks of this in his treatise “On the shortness of life”. Rather than treating our time with the respect it deserves, most would spend it in revelry or useless binge-watching of reruns of their favorite shows. Sit back and think about that. Time is the most precious thing that you have. Lastly, we would recommend that you not tell people that you are practicing Stoicism. Instead, let it be shown in your actions. Epictetus encouraged this, stating that just as sheep don't show the shepherds how much grass they have consumed, but rather express it in the fine wool that they produce, so you should do the same. If people take your silence as ignorance and it doesn't bother you, well, that's the first sign that you are becoming a philosopher! [3] Once you have digested the Stoic techniques, people will notice the changes anyway. While these are some examples of what it means to be Stoic, there is certainly more to it. Together we will discuss these topics and more so that you can incorporate the Stoic principles into your life, starting with the core of

Stoicism: Learning to recognize, at a glance, the things which you can control and the things which you cannot. This is the first step towards the happiness that Stoicism WILL provide you.

Chapter 2 Do The Triage In Life A Stoic learns that the things which they cannot control are unimportant. A distraction at best or a hindrance at the worst. As such, they learn to ignore these things. This is important to you because, properly practiced, mastery of this technique can lift the weight of the world off of your shoulders. Worrying about things that you cannot control is pointless. It drains your energy and your time which you could be using in attacking the problems that you CAN solve. In every situation, you need to ask yourself, “Is this within my control?” Let's discuss some examples so that you can get a better idea of what this means.

Someone Doesn't Like You Or Criticizes You - Just as you have your own will and interpretations of things, so do others. Rather than view it as a rejection of you, accept that another's opinion is simply their own way of interpreting the world. It is your interpretation of a thing that hurts you, so why not view this person's behavior as simply a case of a person following their own nature? Epictetus espouses this view in the Discourses, urging us to treat our critics with compassion, telling ourselves that “He did what he believed was right.” [4] . If you can do this, then opinions and criticism will roll off you like water off a duck's back. You Have An Illness - People get sick. It's not something that you can control. Some of us have to live with chronic conditions, for instance. Yes, this means that there are changes to your routine, but this is not something that you can change, so you should not waste energy focusing on it. Take what medications you need and go about your day. Epictetus even tells us of Agrippinus [5] , a philosopher who used to praise all difficulties for the learning experiences which they brought ( he'd even write songs praising his fevers when he had them!). The lesson here is to accept nature and

work your will in whatever ways you choose. Your Flight Is Delayed By A Snowstorm - A lighter example but certainly viable for those of us who have a temper. You can't change the weather, and no amount of yelling at some poor airline employee is going to help. Accept delays like this as inevitable and focus on what you CAN change, like how you spend this unexpected gift of time. Loss Of A Loved One - While one of the most difficult things to accept, this is completely natural. Everything that lives will die. Rejoice that you were fortunate enough to share a part of their journey through life. Say your goodbyes at the funeral. Let this be enough because life is for the living, and death is truly something that you cannot change. Epictetus tells us that the best way to accomplish this is not to say “I lost something”, but rather that “it was returned”. Everything is experienced but briefly, and we don't own anything but our will and decisions. Even our bodies must go back to whence they came. You did not truly lose this person because you cannot own them. They were “loaned” to you, and the time came when they must be “returned”. [6] Physical Characteristics - Too tall? Too short? Physical characteristics that we were born with cannot be changed (with some surgical exceptions). Dwelling on them is an exercise in futility. Express yourself in what you do, not how you look. You Are Laid Off From A Job - This happens. You cannot change the fact and dwelling on this fact takes away energy which you could be putting towards getting a new, maybe even better job! These are but a few examples of things that you cannot change. It's rather like the “Serenity Prayer” (and it is plausible that the inspiration for writing it came from Stoicism):

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.” The message is the same, but Stoicism is a philosophy, not a religion, and we must learn to recognize these things for ourselves. Let's follow our examples of “things that you cannot change” with a few examples of things that you CAN change:

How You Spend Your “Free Time” - Do you have a nagging feeling that your time could be better spent? You should listen to this. Write things. Journal your thoughts and experience. Learn new things. Always keep busy; after all, no amount of money in this world can buy you so much as an additional minute of your time. The Type Of People That You Consort With - Surround yourself with fellow thinkers. The company that you keep greatly influences your own behavior. Epictetus warns against this in the Discourses, stating that if your friends are dirty that it doesn't matter how clean you are, you will become a little dirty as well. [7] The Amount Of Alcohol You Consume - Barring alcoholism (which is more of a nature factor), you can decide how much you imbibe, and it is important that you do. Stoics prize their faculty of rational thought and alcohol. Well, it's not so conducive to that. Practice abstinence or moderation because, in this, you have the power to decide the strength of your reasoning. How Many Luxuries You Allow In Life - Denying yourself some of life's luxuries by practice is the way that a Stoic strengthens their resolve. This is done constantly as an affirmation of life. Should they lose these luxuries, the Stoic is nonplussed. They already know exactly what it means to lose these things and that they cannot only endure, but thrive in their absence.

This last example of “luxuries” is one that is worth a deeper look. Mastery of this technique can teach you to truly be happy with what you have, and this is a prize beyond measure. Let's discuss!

Chapter 3 Practice Voluntarily Discomfort A Stoic must practice self-control and discipline. In “Letters to a Stoic”, a passage from Seneca begins “I shall give you also a lesson: Set aside a certain number of days, during which you shall be content with the scantiest and cheapest fare..." [8] in which he advises the Stoics to live as if exceedingly poor. The purpose was so that it could be experienced, and the practitioner could ask, “Is this what I was afraid of?”. This is pure wisdom. Not only does voluntary discomfort prepare you for the worst, but it also teaches you to appreciate what you have. This gives you a way to deal properly with anxiety and fear. In a way, you are inoculating yourself against it. So, does one have to live like a pauper for a space to do this? Not necessarily. There are a number of small exercises that you can do for now. This will help you to work your way up to the larger sorts of sacrifice . You are becoming stronger each time. Let's discuss some practical examples: Spend a day with no air conditioner or heater. No meat for a day If you have social anxiety, spark up a conversation with a stranger. Leave a portion of each meal untouched for a day No beverages but water for a day These are just some basic examples, but you get the idea. During your abstinence, you should meditate on the thought that your fate can give and take anything. Nothing is truly yours, but your will and judgment, everything else is given to you on “loan”. As you work your way up with some of the smaller sacrifices, try moving up from one day to one week.

For instance: Spend one week without the heater or the air conditioner. You can do completely without or make do with a small fan or a space heater (provided that these are very basic.) Eat no meat for a week If you have social anxiety, volunteer somewhere for a week working with people. Eat smaller portions of food for one week. No beverages but water for one week Voluntary discomfort is a powerful tool for a Stoic. We are all afraid, deep down, that should we lose everything that we might also lose ourselves. By forcing ourselves to experience what this is like, then we inure ourselves to the effects. Facing your fears is a sure way to build self-discipline and character, so you will want to practice this often. Some other exercises that you can use to toughen yourself up include: Cold Showers - What if you didn't have hot water, could you endure? Find out! Sleeping On The Floor - Beds are nice but taken for granted. Spend a week sleeping on the floor. Morning Exercise - If your job doesn't require a lot of physical labor, an exercise routine can show you what you are missing. Journaling Your Thoughts - If you are not used to writing down your thoughts, then an excellent exercise is writing them daily for a week. Entries don't have to take up a page or more, but don't limit yourself to one sentence a day. Fasting - Bread and water or simply water fasting for a day can be enlightening. Fasting has many benefits when done for longer periods as well, but you will want to consult your physician before fasting for any extended periods. Give Yourself Less Sleep - Spend a week sleeping less. If you

normally sleep for 10 hours, then move to 8. If you normally sleep 8 hours, try functioning on 6. Sleep is one of the easiest things to learn to appreciate properly! Exercises such as these are designed to challenge your ideas of comfort. They will teach you how many things you take for granted and rely upon. Further, they will show you that many of these “creature-comforts” are unnecessary. A Stoic finds happiness in their self-discipline and their control over the things which they may influence. By learning not to let your happiness be decided by how many things you have or do not have, then these things lose their power over you. In his “Discourses”, Epictetus tells us that the things that we let ourselves desire become our masters. Not only the things, even, but that whoever controls the things that we desire becomes our master. By constantly challenging yourself to do without, you will gradually lessen the power which these “mere possessions” hold on you [9] . A Stoic must recognize that comforts and possessions are ephemeral. These are things that you can live without. Further, possessions do not confer status. Epictetus states [10] that when a person tells you that they are better than you because they are wealthy or a better speaker, for instance, that this is simply not true. The more logical assessment of the Stoic would be, “You have more wealth than I do. Therefore, your wealth is superior to mine.” or “You are a better public speaker. Therefore, your oratory skills are superior.” A man or woman is not wealth, oratory skills, or possessions. Recognize this by denying yourself comforts and ascribing value only to your reasoning. Value your judgment. Treasure your ability to manipulate the things which

you can change and to ignore the things that you cannot affect. This is the wisdom of the Stoic. How we are perceived is a subject of stress and consternation for most of us. Yet it is only a simple matter of the impression which we choose to take from such critiques. In the next chapter, we'll tackle how a Stoic deals with an insult.

Chapter 4 Deal With The Insults There is always going to be someone who will try to provoke you. Some people enjoy it. Others simply do not have control over their tempers, which you have or are currently developing. So, how does a Stoic deal with critics or insults? Seneca had some practical advice on the subject in his essay “Anger, Mercy, and Revenge”. In it, he says: "The one who has harmed you is either stronger or weaker than you: if he’s weaker, give him a break; if he’s stronger, give yourself a break." [11] This advice is certainly practical. What about the anger that forces you to feel? To this, we need to remember that a Stoic decides how they wish to feel. Epictetus says to us that if someone hits us or insults us with the intent of harm that we must believe that they have harmed us for it to be effective . If we allow ourselves to be provoked, then we are complicit in the provocation. Basically, if you let someone “push your buttons” and let yourself be angry about it, then you helped them in provoking yourself. [12] A Stoic analyzes everything. So, instead of flying off the handle at every insult, why not try this? First, promise yourself that you will not respond immediately. This is a good habit for a Stoic to be in with any situation. You control your own happiness, and no one can take it from you without your permission. You control your judgment. So now that you have taken a moment to distance yourself from this harmless

collection of words which someone thinks they can provoke you with, what should you do? There are many good responses. You could make your own joke about yourself, for instance. Self-deprecating humor is a means of disarming one who would provoke us with words, especially if your own insult to yourself is funnier. If someone calls you fat, smile and move away from them, saying, “I'll just relocate so that I'm not blocking all of your sunlight.” with a smile and a slight, gracious bow. By not allowing them to provoke you and by making light of yourself, in turn, you show someone the worth of their paltry words, and more importantly, everyone will see that this person does not possess the wit or the strength to move you in the slightest. Socrates deflected insult with humor sometimes. In one famous example, it was said that when someone came looking for a philosopher and did not recognize him, rather than take insult, he would escort them to talk to some other philosophers that he knew — usually his friends, namely Protagoras or Hippias. Instead of taking offense, he smiled and treated the request as if he was simply telling someone how to find cabbage in a grocery store. [13] What would it have served him, after all, to be angry over something as simple as ignorance? Socrates was always happy to state that he knew nothing except that he knew nothing, and we can all learn a thing or two from this example. If self-deprecating humor is not your style, why not employ an analysis of what was said? First, is it truly an insult, or is it a critique? When someone is critical of us, it is very easy to take it personally.

A Stoic is taught to behave differently, however. If someone criticizes you, then you should take it one of two ways . First, ask yourself if the criticism is valid. If it is, don't meet this with anger. This person has just advised you on something that you can improve. Even if the criticism was delivered by the most mean-spirited, nasty person that you know, if the criticism is correct and you feel injured, then you are truly angry at yourself. Don't be. Take the criticism constructively and improve yourself. Don't waste your energy being angry with the “child” who brought it to your attention. Further, if the criticism is wrong, would you give it power by accepting it as an insult? Epictetus tells us that when someone criticizes us incorrectly, they are the ones who suffer for being incorrect. He advises that you treat them with compassion, like an ignorant child who is only doing and saying what they think is right. [14] Another choice that you have with insults is simply ignoring them. Epictetus states in his Discourses that you should stand in front of a rock and throw your best insults at it. How powerful are those words now? Be like the rock and no one can ever hurt you with insults. A Stoic is only concerned with the things that he or she can change, and as an adult, you know how hard it is to change another person's opinion about anything. Let them have their ignorance. So, what did Marcus Aurelius have to say on the subject? The wise emperor

reminds us that a Stoic is only concerned with what belongs to himself (logic, judgment, impressions we choose to take) and that such a person is thus impervious to insults. This person should also be wary also of valuing praise that comes from the same unbalanced people. After all, why should you value praise that comes from one who is not even satisfied with themselves? We have advised what to do with direct insults and criticisms of the self. So, what about rumors? People love to seed them, and as often as not, the rumor comes to your attention from a friend or other curious innocent who wishes to know, “is it true?” Epictetus had a fine response for this, further arguing that humor is the best way to diffuse the harm in incorrect words. He says you shouldn't try to defend yourself but rather state, “Yes, and they don't know the half of it, or they could have said more!” [15] Insults have no power over you. Respond by insulting yourself to show that you are self-aware. Take criticisms as lessons where you can improve yourself. Don't play their game. Anger is an affront to your tranquility and happiness and not worth your time. Why care what THEY think? You can only control what YOU think.

Chapter 5 Simplifying Lifestyle Do you always have to have the most expensive clothing? Do you find it shameful to take the bus instead of driving a new car to work? Why? Are you your clothing? Are you your car? Of course not. Shame is an external influence that we allow into our lives, letting it damage our tranquility. Like an insult, there is only power in shame if you allow it to touch you. A Stoic should be humble and happy for the things that they have. Let's go into our first examples, clothing and the bus. If you always wear expensive clothing, why is this? Are you trying to impress someone with your wealth? With your taste? Is it a specific someone? A Stoic will analyze their thoughts to get to the root of an issue, and you will need to get in the habit of doing this as well. Wealth and clothing are not ours. They are on “loan” to us and can be taken away at any time. By putting your self-worth into these things, then you are risking losing it the moment that they are gone. Is it worth that risk simply to impress others (when the only thing that you can truly own is what YOU think?). What about riding the bus? That car is a status symbol. It represents wealth or independence. So does a car make you free, or is it just a visible representation that you keep to impress others? If it is cheaper to ride the bus

(rather than pay for gas and maintenance on the car), why not take the bus ? Sure, it takes longer and your time is precious. Could you not counter this by using your time wisely? You can read on the bus. You can practice a new language with lessons on your phone or an mp3 player. You can enjoy the scenery as it passes by. It is all up to you. Becoming immune to shame and humbling yourself is an important step in becoming a Stoic. By expressing who you are in your actions, rather than your possessions, you set an example that others cannot help but notice. Some will even wish to emulate you. Epictetus said it best when he advised that one should not pride themselves on any assets that they did not truly own. If you have a beautiful, sporty car, are the traits of the car yours? Of course not. Why would you brag or take credit for its traits [16] , this thing which anyone could buy if they had the money? The only thing that truly belongs to you is the impressions that you decide to take from the world around you. If you should wish to take pride in this, then, by all means, do so because your thoughts and the impressions that you take are truly and uniquely your own. Simplify your lifestyle, appreciate what you have, and accept that your wealth and possessions are not you and are not even really yours. This is the way of the Stoic.

Chapter 6 View From Above Also known as “Plato's view”, to view from above is to take a moment where you stop and try to realize the bigger picture. For instance, someone at your work irritates you. Rather than taking offense, you start thinking about how many other people there are at the office, working on specific things that further contribute to one goal. Take a step further, view these people as part of a company. An entity composed of all these people working towards whatever commodity it is that the company provides. Is that all that the company does? Not at all. It also provides work for a percentage of people in the city. How important is it in the scheme of things? This is an important view to understand. When you break things down, then personal problems become almost laughable to your Stoic sensibilities. Everyone and everything are just a tiny cog in a great and powerful machine. Does this mean that we are helpless? Not at all. You control your thoughts and impressions. You control your behavior. Taking a larger view can show you that your employment is simply that — a means to an end. Allowing yourself to be angry is a slight to yourself. That wise, Stoic emperor Marcus Aurelius advised us that seeing things from above puts everything in a new perspective. “Luxuries, power, war... all the worries of everyday life are suddenly ridiculous.” [17] This is a powerful lesson that gives the Stoic a view of “global consciousness”. Why should you worry so much about these external things?

The clothing and the cars that are popular in your country might be laughable or shameful in another. The attitude a coworker is showing you might be normal behavior in a city across the globe, where aggressive honesty is lauded or unfiltered communication is encouraged. This is another example where the Stoic learns that all-powerful lesson of what he or she can and cannot control. Once you take this to heart and allow yourself to see the bigger picture, then you will know what you can ignore (or at least pay minimal attention to, but only in how it affects you.). Remember, the Stoic is only concerned with the things which they can change. So, when you are feeling overwhelmed, be sure to step back for a moment and view the world as a bird might . Realize that there is genuinely very little that you can actually control and that, because of this, you SHOULD exercise control on everything that it is within your power to do so with. You can't change the world, but you can change yourself. Practice the Stoic ideals so that no insult can harm you, no possessions can enslave you, and so that nothing can take away the happiness which you allow yourself to have.

Chapter 7 Cognitive Distancing Some people like to compare Stoics to the “Vulcans” from the television show “Star Trek”. This is because a Stoic often appears to show little emotion. So, does a Stoic really not feel anything? Of course not. A Stoic simply trains themselves to recognize what they can and cannot control. A human cannot completely control their emotions like a fictional alien race. So, what is one to do? Well, as a Stoic values their ability to control what can be controlled, then the first step is cognitive distancing. Simply put, step back from the emotion for a moment. This is something that you can practice, starting small and then moving your way up. For example -- let's say that on your way to work you pick up a newspaper from a coin-operated machine. You pull out your paper and part of it rips, just as the spring-loaded door slams home to prevent you from grabbing an undamaged paper. Your first and most honest reaction is to curse, is it not? So why are you cursing? Are you angry at the person who made the machine? Are you angry that the person in charge of maintaining the machine is blissfully unaware that the newspapers can get snagged in it? Perhaps you are simply angry that the paper is ripped, but the paper itself is an inanimate object. Why yell at something that can't feel your anger (much less actually provoke it) .

What you need to realize is that this anger only has power because you allowed it. What happened is entirely external. You're angry, but rather than getting another paper or reading the story online, will you let it color your day? You can't control what happened, but you CAN control the impression you draw. This is something that we often repeat because this is the hardest lesson to learn. Another excellent example of cognitive distancing is this. Say you are at work where a lot of email communication is standard. A coworker has made you angry by suggesting that you aren't pulling your own weight or perhaps they have put off work which they were responsible for and it's holding everything up. Do you write an email, maybe even copying it to your boss, while you are angry ? We don't recommend it. Take the Stoic approach instead with this little exercise. Write the email and save it as a draft. Next, wait one day to send it (or until after lunch if it absolutely cannot wait). By writing it and putting it aside, you are giving yourself a lesson in how much emotion clouds your judgment if you allow it to. After lunch or better, the next day, read your email and remove all traces of emotion from it. You will have a lot to delete. This is because intense emotion can blind us and affect our judgment. If you would have sent out that email, everyone who is not experiencing your consternation will nonetheless be well aware of it.

Words written in haste and emotion look like what they are . Once you've tried this and seen for yourself, add it to your daily life and try to expand on it. After all, is it wiser to act immediately when you are angry and want to get something done, or is it better to approach any issue with as much control as you can muster? We aren't saying that you can always control your emotions. Stoics are human just like everyone else, and you will make a lot of mistakes on your path as a philosopher. If you keep exercising your judgment, however, then these mistakes will slowly become less and less as you learn to own your own judgment and, therefore, your own happiness. Another good exercise that you can use to strengthen your response to fiery emotions is this. Get yourself a notebook, and for one week, write down every time that you get angry. Let the moment pass, and when you are alone, write down what made you angry or to feel anxious, close the notebook, and continue on your week. On Sunday (or whatever day you are off work and relaxed), read your What do you feel you should have done about these things that made angry or that scared you? Cause a scene? Snipe at a coworker? Would lead to a better working environment? Likely these things that blinded for a moment are painfully clear at this distance.

list. you that you

This is an important realization and the beginning of very deep and very Stoic wisdom. Stepping aside from these violent emotions, we learn what such knee-jerk reactions will truly get us. As a Stoic, it is your duty to understand this and to remind yourself constantly.

Don't worry; it gets easier with time. Other simple exercises that can help: Count to 5 or 10 before responding when your emotions flare. Consider why you are angry or scared rather than simply venting your anger or running from something. Say to yourself, “This emotion moves me because I'm allowing it.” and let it pass. Go somewhere quiet if you need to. Epictetus states that people who are possessed of strong constitutions can tolerate extremes of hot or cold weather with relative ease. The same is true of people who possess strong mental health due to practice and conditioning, as they can handle grief, joy, anger, and other emotions that vex those who do not often enough exercise their control. [18] Use your growing Stoic powers of judgment so that you may delay emotional judgments long enough to see what they are and whether or not acting on them serves you. This is easier for some than others. If it is harder for you, then try this. If you cannot stop the emotion, delay it. If you cannot delay it, force yourself to be silent rather than speaking it. Every moment that you exercise control over an emotion successfully is a step further towards absolute control over it. Now consider how much control you might possess after years of this practice?

Chapter 8 Empathetic Understanding In chapter 42 of “Discourses”, we are told the importance of Empathy as it relates to the Stoics' ability to ignore criticism and the actions of others when they attempt to wrong us. The technique and its reasoning are sound, and the essence of it is this: Other people cannot possibly be guided by our own views. They can only base their actions on their own. As such, if their views are wrong, do they not suffer the indignity of being misguided? A Stoic is taught to empathize with this person rather than to seek a quarrel. It is enough to say to yourself, “This person is only doing what they feel is right, based on their views of the world.”. [19] Just as you cannot own anything but your own views and judgments, it must be realized that others, even those who judge you poorly, are only practicing the same right. Rather than “strike back” when someone attempts to malign you with words, you should attempt to understand what is really occurring. Is it not sad that someone would waste so much energy in an attempt to discredit you? Take a moment to analyze their behavior. This person has decided to base their actions on an unproven assumption and, worse, to attempt to convince others and themselves that this assumption is valid (to hurt you in some cases, in others to make themselves feel important). By this logic, they are basing their self-importance on their ability to debase YOU.

What an unhappy existence. Unlike the Stoic, they are attempting to own what cannot be owned. The views of others. Your view. Rather than take offense, it is more realistic to feel pity. For a Stoic, their criticism should be interpreted only in one of two ways: As A Valid Criticism - in which case we should be thankful to them for addressing a flaw in our own logic or behavior. If this is something we can control, then it is in our power to change, so the one delivering criticism has done us a favor. As A Flawed Criticism - If the criticism is about something which we cannot control, for instance, “you are old and I am young”, then why should it matter to you? This is not something you can change. If you allow yourself to be angry, then you are not exercising Stoic control. Why not smile and say, “Then you move faster while I have seen and learned many things, are we not both truly lucky.”? Never forget that as a Stoic, you are the one who decides what impressions you take from something. Someone cannot drive you to anger without your first allowing it. Your happiness belongs to you. If someone seeks to harm you with their words, then they are making the mistake of basing their happiness on something outside of their control. They deserve your pity. Socrates said it best. Whenever someone would insist on him, “I have insulted you.”, he would answer with a smile and the words, “A lot of good may it do you!” [20]

Chapter 9 Show Up Every Day A Stoic must be committed to pushing themselves. You need to exercise your control. If something is within your influence, you must OWN it. Chapter 51 of Discourses [21] addresses this with a compelling argument. It asks, “How long will you wait before you decide to demand the best of yourself?” So, how long? You've been given the precepts of Stoicism. The seeds are planted. Should you not now strive to ensure that they grow? As you are an adult now, your time is less, and if you procrastinate constantly, you could die without achieving enlightenment. Stoicism hasn't changed in its validity, only in your failure to exercise it. You will have failed because you chose to fail . Don't let this happen! Rather, accept that every day is important. A Stoic knows that death is natural and that everything is merely loaned to us, even our own bodies. With this in mind, you must choose to PROGRESS. Since you cannot know how long you have, you should live as if everything depends on the events of this single day. Further, do not look for help or harm in others. A Stoic must look for these things in themselves. We own nothing but our impressions and our happiness, and no one is going to get these things for you. After all, how could they? Like you, they can only own their own happiness. Your self-discipline is like a muscle. At first, it is weak, but when you exercise daily, it slowly increases in mass and power. If your self-discipline

needs a little work, then start slow. Some examples:

1. Always arrive at work 20 minutes early. The work is not as important as the intent. This gives you time to read the news, have a cup of coffee, or just to have some breathing space before you “leap into the fray”. It is a discipline, and others will notice when you exercise it. Some ways to gain time in the morning are as follows: a. Shower the night before b. Iron and lay out your clothes the night before c. Set your current alarm 30 minutes earlier than usual 2. Exercise briefly every morning. You won't want to, at first, but it is a way to start your day by asserting your control. It will make your body stronger at the same time as it strengthens your mind. 3. If you are feeling physically weak or overwhelmed by emotion, take a cold shower. It's a useful exercise. It demonstrates your will to push past obstacles at the same time that it reminds you to appreciate simple things like heated water. 4. Make a list of small things that need to be done that you have been putting off. Pick one thing off of that list each day and DO IT. It doesn't matter how small it seems. Doing something, anything, is better than doing nothing, and in time you will find that the tasks which you are assigning yourself are becoming more substantial. The small tasks are like a grain of sand in an oyster that grows into a pearl. Show up every day. In every intent and interaction, ask yourself, “Is this within my control?” and if it is, then do something useful with it. A Stoic owns their own happiness.

Chapter 10 Never Play The Victim Attitude is everything. It is worthless to spend your time complaining about things that you cannot change. So, how do we do this? By reinforcing our intent to ignore the things that we cannot change. Why would you complain about something that you cannot change? It serves no purpose but to drain you of energy. In Book 5 of Marcus Aurelius’ “Meditations”, we are given a persuasive lesson [22] . We'll paraphrase it here. Aurelius says that when we wake up, we should affirm to ourselves that “I am waking up to do the work of a human being.” Why should we be dissatisfied, he argues, when we are doing the work for which we were explicitly designed? Why should we lay in bed all day? “Well, it's comfortable.”, one might argue, to which we are then to ask, “Am I here only to experience pleasure but never to exert any action or hard work?” This is an excellent question. Aurelius continues to ask us if we see the other inhabitants of the world around us neglecting to do their parts. The plants that we see, the birds, indeed, all of nature around us, do we see any laziness there? Plants give us oxygen, sometimes food too. Birds help distribute seeds. Bees help to pollinate plants. What about man? Yes, we need rest, but Nature has set limits to how much we need. The same goes for eating and drinking. Yet most of us can gladly ignore these limits and indulge, until it comes time for us to act, to be productive. Thus, we fall short of what we might achieve .

If you agree with this, then ask yourself further: What of the ones who love their arts and actions? How many artists spend countless hours perfecting a brushstroke, skipping baths and meals. What of the architect who can't stop putting in extra hours at work and even reads architectural journals in the bathroom? We all know at least one expert in a particular field who has found their niche and channels their energy into it. Do you love yourself less? Yes, there are situations we are thrust into, which we cannot change. What you can change is your attitude about it. Find your place in society. It doesn't have to be lofty. Remember that the Stoic takes the “view from above” and take a step back from things. Realize how little that you control so that you can take the reins on the things that you CAN. Here are some practical examples: If you work around people who complain a lot, instead of letting it drain your morale, try instead to make a mental note of which complaints are within the complainer's power to change. Keep this to yourself; your turn is next. Keep a notepad handy, and when you catch yourself complaining about something that you cannot change, write it down. Review it at the end of each week and see if you can teach yourself to start ignoring these things until your list is blank. Assert each morning, “I am responsible for my own happiness because nothing can harm me if I do not allow it to.” When a Stoic has taught themselves to recognize the things that they can change and to ignore the things which they cannot, then they can never be a “victim”.

Chapter 11 Practice Delayed Gratification The way of the Stoic involves a lot of discipline. We are taught that anyone who controls the things that we value is essentially our master; thus, a Stoic must learn not to covet things if they would master themselves. This is extremely difficult to do, but delayed gratification is an excellent first step. By acknowledging temptation but delaying our gratification from it, then we slowly take away the power of a “thing” to hold us captive. Why is this so important? Is it wrong to want money or a fancy car? Of course not. What is wrong is needing these things to define to yourself or to others who you are. You aren't money. You are not your car, your house, or your job. That doesn't mean that we don't have temptations, however . Aside from the lofty ones, some simple ones can get us all the time. Have you ever stopped a project to catch the latest episode of a favorite show? Have you ever spent a weekend recovering from a night out with the boys or girls? Many things can make us less productive. The first step in taking away their power to control you is to exercise a little control of your own. Let's give a practical example. You have a work project that is taking most of your time, and you have been invited to go out in the middle of the week. You KNOW that it is going to affect your productivity, but you also feel that you deserve a reward for your hard work. What to do? Well, let's analyze it. Do you take pride in your work? If so, is it worth it to you to do work of lesser quality for the remaining days of the week (or even for a single day, because you will have less energy the next day if you stay up late even if you recover quickly)? Lastly, could you not instead celebrate the finished project on Friday night, when it would only impact your weekend?

What serves you better? In an ideal scenario, a Stoic might not be tempted to go out at all, as clarity of thought is highly prized, but this is something that everyone has to work up to. By taking a temptation (going out Wednesday night) and applying a measure of control to it (no, I'll go out Friday night!), you are exercising your will. You also accomplish getting the fun that you would have enjoyed that Wednesday while still keeping your work integrity intact. As a challenge to yourself, we propose an exercise. If you have one temptation that you indulge in regularly every week, then we would like you to reschedule it. Defer it by a week, a day, or even a few hours and do this for a month. At the end of this month, you should contemplate the results of this experiment. Did you lose anything by exercising your control? Even better, did you gain anything? By deferring your gratification, you will lessen the power of the things that enslave you. Even better, as you learn not to expect an immediate reward for your work, you will empower yourself to push through the roadblocks that keep you from longer-term goals!

Chapter 12 Ignore Naysayers While some criticism is honest (if not always delivered tactfully), there are some people who actually thrive in the act of delivering it. This should be watched so that you can deliver them their just desserts. By ignoring them. Modern naysayers, often known as “Trolls”, just like to get a rise out of you. As a Stoic, you will learn to recognize them very quickly. So, why is ignoring them the best course? For one, a Stoic knows that the criticism of another is either instructive to us or a result of another's faulty logic. A troll, however, doesn't even deserve that consideration. When the number of criticisms is constant, varied, and for no apparent reason, then listening to it only gives them power . Do you really care what a stranger thinks? Why is it so crucial to them to vocalize opinions specifically about you? It is important to notice this kind of unhealthy attention and to remind yourself that it is not under your control. Avoid them if you can. If you cannot, then ignoring them is the best. While it might be tempting to engage them with some criticisms of your own, you must resist this temptation. A Stoic has no interest in what they cannot control. Besides, what are you worried about? If the criticisms have no basis in fact, then they don't matter. No one will think ill of you for refusing to play the fool's game. Rather, play your own by holding your tongue. While the criticisms may sting at first, it gets easier to ignore this type of

person with practice. There is also another good reason to adopt this attitude. Acknowledging this type of person only accomplishes the following: People wonder if the criticisms are valid People associate you with your company, and you are spending a lot of time with this fool You end up wasting valuable time on something that you cannot change or control On the flip side, ignoring this type of person empowers you. It shows that your time is important and that you are secure in your own strengths and weaknesses. It also demonstrates, by your actions, that you do not suffer fools. While self-deprecating humor can get the job done, we would challenge you to try simply ignoring the offender. Try it for a month and see what happens. While it is definitely a challenge (holding your tongue while some annoying friend or coworker keeps rattling off faux-faults that they seem to find in you), consider this: what must this person see in the mirror that makes them so determined to focus on anything and everybody else? There is no need to stoop to provocation when pity is obviously called for. By whatever means, you must reserve your time only for the factors in life that you can control or change. After all, a Stoic demonstrates their worth in actions, not merely in words.

Chapter 13 Do Less It's a deceptive title for a chapter, no? We are not talking about doing less work, of course (hey, we're Stoics!), but rather that one should focus on a small number of things rather than spreading oneself thin with too many. It sounds like an easy thing to do, but you might be surprised. In this modern information age, we often tout the value of multitasking. Is this really a good thing? Yes, multitasking can be useful, but it is not necessarily always the best approach. So how do you decide how you approach something? By eliminating that which is superfluous and planning in advance . In chapter 29 of Discourses [23] , there is actually direct advice on planning out a task. We are told that we should reflect not only on what the plan will initially require but on each stage to follow before even deciding to take up the task. By doing this, we don't set ourselves up for failure or frustration during the more difficult phases of the task because we have already broken it down into its components. How, then, does one decide what is superfluous? The easiest means to do this is to ask yourself this: “Is what I am doing now connected to my task?”. If it is not, then is it something that you can do later? You must learn to focus!

Start by breaking your task down into a series of smaller tasks. Note the most important tasks, as well. You can seldom go wrong by accomplishing as many of these in advance as possible. Another way to “do less to do more” is through the grouping of like tasks. Examples might include: If you need to call one person on a specific day, make any other necessary phone calls for your task at the same time If you need to pick up a supply item at one location, if you can get more supplies in advance there or if other supplies can be purchased nearby, save a trip and do it all at once If an aspect of your project involves the computer (like making a spreadsheet for your finances), then this is also a good time to take care of any emails related to the project as well Remember that as a Stoic, your time is precious and by planning well, you can save quite a lot of it while performing your task more efficiently. The ability to break down tasks into their component parts and to prioritize and group these components will also teach you how to achieve your goals realistically. Breaking a task or a problem into smaller, more easily-digested bits is just another tool in the Stoic's toolbox. If you can accomplish all of the tasks that you have outlined, then the results are within your control, and that control is what Stoicism is all about. Just be careful, there is very little that you cannot accomplish when you break those “impossible” tasks into smaller “merely difficult” ones!

Chapter 14 Be Grateful For Your Blessings In chapter 3, we spoke of voluntary discomfort and one of the lessons that comes from this is the appreciation of the things that we have. There are so many things that we take for granted, such as centralized heating and air, microwave ovens, cellular phones, the list goes on and on. What would you do if you did not have these things? What if you didn't have a refrigerator, an oven, or even electricity? You could choose to despair, but is this not an impression? A Stoic would not damage their happiness in this fashion. Rather, they would learn to appreciate fruits growing in nature. They might learn to cook delicious meals by a fire. The warmth of the fire itself, would that not be a blessing ? Aurelius contemplates this in his “Meditations”, advising us to not only appreciate the things around us but to appreciate the imperfections. [24] For instance, with freshly baked bread, there are cracks that occur naturally in the baking, ingredients that sometimes rise to the top and decorate it in a fashion... these were not intended by the baker but nonetheless made our mouths water when we see them. Even delicious fruits, rotting on the tree, become touched with colors that add to the beauty of the fruit even as their decay reduces them to an inedible state. If we should look, everywhere there are examples to bring pleasure and encourage contemplation and look we should! View everything around you with the same pleasure as the sculptor or the painter, feverishly striving to capture even an approximation of what's around all of us. If we only choose to look . We tend to tie our happiness to things, and this is dangerous. Our consumerdriven society leads to competition with our friends and neighbors for the latest gadgets or the shiniest jewelry. Get a phone call on your cell while you

are at a restaurant? When you are answering it, people are judging you for your phone. Some people take pleasure in noting that their television set is bigger than yours. Drink tap water (which has higher cleanliness standards in some countries than it's more expensive bottled variety), and you'll get judged as well. Ultimately, it's ridiculous. Why should ANYONE subscribe to it? As a Stoic, if you practice voluntary discomfort, then you will gain an appreciation for things that you take for granted at the same time that you will know that you could live without those things. Negative visualization, which is simply a deep contemplation of how your life would be living in a 3rd world country or if you were homeless on your own, can also help you to cultivate a Stoic mindset. Express yourself in your actions and in your examples rather than the things that you were able to collect with money. Your personal happiness and your enlightened opinions are the only things that you can truly own. What else do we really need? Some exercises which you can try to help express or increase your appreciation for the things which you have: Instead of going out, spend the night at home. Cook for yourself instead of ordering out and enjoy the night sky from the back yard. Take a week off sodas, replacing them with bottled water. This will reaffirm that something you take for granted is actually a luxury. Take cold showers every day for a week. Some people don't have the luxury of hot water. Could you survive without it?

There is much to be thankful for if you simply teach yourself how to look.

Chapter 15 You Can Live Happy Anywhere Aside from ascribing one's happiness to the “number of toys that we die with”, another common belief that binds us is “I would be happy if I only lived in ______." Is this true? Why? As a Stoic, your happiness is up to you. Certain things in other places might be pleasing. If you lived in Texas, you could have a pecan tree in your yard. If you lived in some places in California then maybe you could walk to the beach when you liked. If you lived in New York, you could have a “real” slice of deep-dish pizza pie . All of these things are nice, but really, is your happiness contingent on these things? What if you lived in the woods in a log cabin next to a waterfall? It's all ultimately scenery because a Stoic achieves their own happiness through their appreciation for the things they have and the impressions that they choose to take in life. If you lived in Siberia, you could choose to bundle up and take up ice sculpting. If you lived in the desert just outside of Marrakesh with a solar panel on the top of your mud house, you could be happy and content with 2 hours of free electricity a day. When you have learned to appreciate the things that you have and to ignore the things that you cannot control, the sky is the limit.

We should be very cautious about nostalgia, which is often the culprit when we find ourselves fondly missing a particular location. We develop strong ties to our roots, and there is nothing wrong with that, but we also tend to paint pictures in our memories, which become more of an ideal than the actual way that things happened. Analyze your thoughts and try to determine what it is that you are actually missing. Was there something in the past that you remember so fondly that relates to a current goal? Is it because you know more now then you knew then? If it is the former, you can use it, but the latter is out of your control. We cannot change the past. Remember, when we allow our happiness to be reliant on people, places, or things, then we are setting ourselves up for disappointment. You cannot control what a person will do, nor guarantee that your childhood home has not changed, and possessions cannot define or truly fulfill you. Aurelius has some excellent advice on this. [25] He states that we tend to purchase retreats for ourselves. Homes hidden deep in the woods or sitting in tranquility high in the mountains or perhaps sitting opposite of stunning seashores. Naturally, those who do not have one of these will desire them, but the Stoic emperor warns against this. “It is the mark of the common man.” , he says, because it is within the power of all to retire within themselves. There is no place in the world quieter or freer from trouble than inside one's own soul. There, a person can look upon their own thoughts and if those thoughts are of a certain caliber, then they will know a perfect tranquility. A tranquility, he says, that is nothing more than the good ordering of your

own mind.

Chapter 16 Help The Common Good And Maintain Social Relationships While a lot of people envision the Stoic as the wise old man living alone on the mountain, this is actually a huge misconception. Stoics are taught to be active members of their community, serving the common good. In the “Fragments” portion of “Discourses”, we are taught something about a phrase that you have probably heard. “Know thyself.” Inscribed on the Temple of Apollo at Delphi until it was destroyed in 390 A.D., this maxim was one of the Delphic Maxims (a series of aphorisms said to have come from Apollo's oracle there). It sounds pretty straightforward; You should know yourself. There is a little more to this, however . In “Fragments”, we are told that the way to know yourself is also to know the community in which you belong. If you are part of a group of chorus singers in your church or in an entertainment capacity, you should know these people you are surrounded with as well as how each contributes to the harmony that you produce together. For a soldier, part of knowing yourself is knowing the members of your company. It is understanding how you integrate. Everyone around us has an effect, from those we admire to the ones that we despise. The Stoics see the world as one great community, ruled over by what they called “supreme providence”. [29] This providence could be referred to by a number of names. Call it God, “the Gods”, Fate, destiny, universal purpose, or even creative reason.

Our job as human beings is then to live in harmony with this universal purpose, accept and love our fates, and to stop ascribing value to those possessions and other aspects of life that can be taken away from us on a whim. This is the path to inner peace, as long as we can keep ambition, greed, and reliance on luxuries at bay. Being a part of the community, for a Stoic, involves giving back. It involves directing your actions for the benefit of the community. There are many ways that this can be done: Voting - Vote in your local community. You are part of it, and your voice should be heard. Teaching A Skill - Teaching a skill to a member of your community means that all can benefit from your knowledge. If you teach someone some carpentry basics, your community benefits. Teach someone how to play music, and your community has more sweet music. Learning A Skill - Learn from other members of your community to strengthen both your knowledge and your bond with those around you. Adding Members To The Community - Starting a family empowers the community as a whole. Raising your children with good values helps the values of the community overall, as people learn by example. “Random Acts Of Kindness” - Kindness delivered to those in need, with no expectation of something in return, is an excellent way to aid your community. Do some volunteer work. Hire someone who is out of work to help you with a project. Feed homeless strangers. No one knows better than a Stoic that possessions come and go. While you cannot eliminate homelessness and hunger in the world, you can certainly lessen it within your own community.

It is in our nature to be social creatures. Think of the city in which you live as a smaller version of the universe-- a microcosm. By living according to your Stoic ideas and abiding by the local laws of the community of which you are part of you are yet making a contribution. Does this mean that life will always be favorable? Of course not. People get sick and die. People lose their fortunes. You can live fairly and honorably and still find yourself in court sometime. If you do and the judge rules against you, as a Stoic and a member of the community, you should accept the decision. After all, the judge is also working for the community and their views are not under your control. Be satisfied, because you did your part in answering to the community summons, just as the judge did by making a decision with the community welfare in mind. [30] Know yourself by knowing and serving your community. When it comes to doing good for the community, keep in mind that you can be one of three types of givers: The type who gives a service or gift and marks it mentally, to call upon it later The type who gives and doesn't call it a “favor” but still feels that they are owed The type of person who simply gives and never thinks about it, like a vine or a tree that produces fruit [31] Be like the vine, of course. Just as Stoicism has taught you that possessions can master you, the same teachings should also tell you that giving with the intent of mastering another is wrong. Just keep producing “fruit” like the vine and keeping to your principles, so that your community benefits not only by your labors but by your example. Don't forget that you should not “announce” that you are a philosopher to this

same community with your words, only with your actions. The goal of serving your community is simply that, to serve your community. Behaving otherwise is unbecoming of a philosopher. A Stoic doesn't need to advertise. Lastly, we would advise that while you should become closer to your community, be selective in the types of people with whom you surround yourself. Remember that it is very easy to become like these people unless you can, through your actions and values, cause them to emulate you. Also, that if you consort with someone covered in dirt that you are bound to get dirty yourself! [33]

Know and serve your community that you may also know and serve yourself. It is your duty as a Stoic and a citizen.

Chapter 17 Accept And Appreciate Yourself Accepting yourself is essential in Stoicism. You need to understand and accept your nature. One important lesson from “Discourses” [26] states that we should not trouble ourselves with thoughts like “I'm going to live my life as a nobody, alone and unimportant." This begs the question, is a lack of distinction bad? How is this something that you can control? Can you invite yourself to the chic parties or give yourself that CEO job? Of course not. This is something that is out of your control, and therefore, there is no dishonor in a lack of distinction. What about being unimportant? Arguably, you are very important, the MOST important in the areas that are within your control. These areas where you are in control must be your source of selfworth. A Stoic diligently takes control of everything that they can. So, what about wealth? With wealth, you could spoil your friends and give nice things to your loved ones. The answer to this that Discourses provides is: “Show me a way that I can obtain such wealth without compromising my principles and I'll go and get it.”. As possessions tend to bind us, the Stoic recognizes that compromising your

own principles for a handful of things that aren't so good for you in the first place is ridiculous. So, what about this “alone” part of the argument? Given a choice, would you want a rich, less-principled friend or a faithful friend with principles? Stoicism is a difficult path in this regard, but it is undoubtedly a rewarding one. What of the views of others and how they relate to our self-esteem? That is easy when you look at it right. By cultivating those who, like yourself, would rather a faithful and principled friend than a rich or popular character that cannot be relied on, you will find that the views of those outside your personal circle really don't matter. Probably the best example that we can cite this kind of friend would be that person in your life who always speaks their mind and any criticisms that they provide are genuine areas where you could improve. Everyone has met or kept a friend like this . Typically, they are comfortable in themselves, and when they criticize, it is important because it comes from a genuine desire that we should prosper. Compare this to the social butterflies who place so much value on how you dress. Those who base their self-estimation on sexual conquests or workplace promotions (often at any cost for the last two!). These people can be amusing, but they are hardly role-models. Worse, they can drag you down to their level. Simply put, you'll find it very hard to control yourself and the things in your

power to shape if you surround yourself with those who can't even love themselves. Learn to appreciate yourself for the right reason. The stern exercise of control in the things within your sphere of influence focused on the achievement of your own happiness.

Chapter 18 Amor Fati - Loving Fate Whatever Comes It is a phrase that you may have heard, but do you know what it means? Amor Fati is Latin for “a love of Fate”. A powerful Stoic belief, the concept Of Amor Fati is easy to understand but challenging to master. To love your fate is to not only accept EVERYTHING that has happened to you but to love it... the good parts and the bad. So, how is this accomplished? First, remember that the Stoic doesn't see a tragedy as “bad”. Everyone will die; our bodies are only loaned to us. Riches come and go. As a Stoic chooses what impressions they will take of any given situation, then they are in control of their own happiness . By choosing to embrace every step on the path that has led you here then you can know a tranquil peace. After all, can you control Nature? This is not to say that you should run headlong into dangerous situations like a Viking, using fate as an excuse. Instead, you should consider the whole of your fate and the lessons that have come from it. A Stoic knows that it is all about perspective. In “Discourses” [27] , we are told that whoever complains about their fate is unskilled in that art which we call life. Everything has its place in and serves the Universe as a whole. Our bodies, especially, reacting in health or in sickness, whether we be young or old, and especially in the changes that we go through as we age.

These are things which are beyond our control, and yet our will, which IS ours to control, rebels against them. A Stoic's attention should always be directed towards that which they can control. This attitude, combined with exercises of voluntary discomfort, allow the Stoic a special kind of mental preparation that allows for Amor Fati. Love your fate. Don't allow yourself to be angry, nor spend so much time looking behind you that you fall over your own feet. Here are a few examples to help you to get the idea if the concept still seems a little loose: Maybe you grew up moving all the time and never spent more than a year in the same school. Instead of seeing this as a social impediment, you might choose to embrace how self-reliant you became . If you never knew your parents, rather than lament the lost time with them, you can consider that this required you to be strong and self-made. If you spent a year unemployed, you've been given a crash course in the things that you want versus the things that you actually need. Every step that you have taken in life is important and should not only be accepted, but accepted with love. Nothing is more immutable than the past, nor more instructive once you have achieved this kind of acceptance. You cannot control your fate, but you can control how you view it.

Chapter 19 Revenge Is Not Necessary When it comes to the subject of revenge, Seneca had some pretty good advice in his “Hardship and Happiness” treatise. He says that we should consider this kind of behavior beneath us, if even simply for the fact that there is never a shortage of people who enjoy and excel at hurting those who are injurious to others in their words and actions. [34] Simply put, one day, the person that wronged you is going to make the mistake of wronging someone else on their own level. It's worth noting that Seneca took great pleasure in hearing of the fall of Caligula, and when asked about it, he said that one can exist quite well being opposed to revenge while still “finding some satisfaction in the outcome”. We're only human, after all ! So how does one quell the fires of the desire for revenge? There are certain exercises that can help. We've put together a few of them that you can try the next time you find yourself dearly wanting to have the last laugh.

Exercises For Calming The Mind Ridicule - A great way to prevent a knee-jerk response when someone is really “getting your goat” is to make light of it. If revenge is on your mind so much that you have a mental list, rather than ignore it (because we all know how that works, per the “try not to think of a polar bear” example that leads to, well, polar bears), try instead to spend a few minutes in the morning making light of the ones who harmed you. Dropping cartoon anvils on their heads, visualizing them in clown “dunking booths”, or if the ridiculous doesn't function, you can always try the next.. .

Pity Them - Someone probably has to live with this person. Do you know if that person harms them often? Perhaps they had a damaging childhood. Life deals us all different cards, and the odds are that if someone is dedicated to finding their pleasure to the detriment of others that they have failed to see the lessons of such travails. They have only chosen to take the pain from life and to redistribute it. With this in mind, you should realize that they are not worth your time. In a sense, they are dying already and they don't even know it. Meditative Conditioning - Did you know that you can make mental associations with peaceful meditation sessions you've had? The next time that you meditate, think of a word or a combination of words to create your own mantra. As you reach a state of relaxation, repeat this mantra to yourself over and over, and try repeating it at different times throughout the day or week. With a little practice, you can condition your mind to relax quickly and this can put a stop to the “revenge fires” before they even get a chance to take hold. Revenge is a dish best never served in the first place.

Chapter 20 Have A Daily Diary In his text, the “Principal Doctrines”, Epicurus tells us that unlimited time and limited time may both offer the same amount of pleasure if we simply measure the limits of that pleasure with reason. [35] He has a good point. The question, however, is how one learns to evaluate the passage of time and the benefits that one has reaped from it. A good method is to keep a daily diary. A daily diary gives you access to your thoughts for a particular day and can be a “paper trail” of your accomplishments as well. A great tool for memory, some even place mnemonic devices in their journals, simple sentences such as “ an eggplant purple shirt that was more interesting than a nearby argument” looks obscure to anyone else who reads it. For you, however, this “mind hack” can instantly bring a vivid memory to your mind (this technique, incidentally, is fantastic for travel as well, capturing things your pictures won't!) So, how do you get started with a daily journal, and what should you write? Getting started is simple. Acquire for yourself a notepad or a blank book from your local bookstore. Decide how you will be collecting your thoughts. Two Good ways of doing this are as follows: Method 1 - Having a journal at home where you write down your thoughts at the end of each day. This is good because you can get an idea of what things “stuck out” in your day that might require a Stoic application of logic.

Method 2 - Keeping a small notepad and pen with you at all times so that you can write things down as you go. At the end of the day, you can transfer the contents of the notebook into your actual journal. This provides a bit of contemplation and also helps to put things in perspective. Ask yourself, “are these things that I can change?”. Sometimes writing down our thoughts is an excellent way to determine what is truly critical and what is simply dross. Whichever method you choose, it is recommended that you keep your journal with you at all times so that you can review it 3 times a day. Why is this so important to Stoics? Well, by breaking down these thoughts that you have on paper, you are exercising your “logic muscles” and getting yourself in the habit of being contemplative of your actions as they occur . You will be able to see in your writing if you are letting yourself be driven by base things such as anger, envy, lust, greed, and more. At the end of the week, you can even review the last 7 days and recognize trends in your thinking. This allows you to devise strategies to divert unwanted behavior. If you are having anger issues that week, then you will know some meditation can help. If you are coveting goods, a bit of voluntary discomfort might remind you what is truly best. Learning the structure of your thoughts is an important step in mastering them, and your journal will be an invaluable tool for this.

Chapter 21 Other Things That Matter Many things are important to the Stoic way of thinking. We've compiled some of the most important in this chapter so that you will have a helpful assortment of guidelines to help you on the path of the Stoic. Many of these things are not easy, but you MUST always strive towards achieving them. Isn't your happiness worth it?

Be Genuine, Modest And Truthful Mark Twain may have said it best [36] when he said, “If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.” It's comical but true and happens to be very important to the Stoic way of thinking. You will want to be authentic in your actions and words, humble in your demeanor, and never afraid to give someone a truth that they might not necessarily want to hear. This doesn't mean to be vulgar, of course. Rather, it means that you should garner for yourself a reputation for being someone who gives an honest answer when their opinion is asked for. If you are worried that this might be too hard on your friends, then you can always ask, “Are you looking for support or for my opinion?”

Have Patience Patience is the key to a number of things in your life, and a Stoic must excel at it. Learn the proper time for doing things and be tolerant of the failings of

others. After all, each must walk their own path the best they can and their failings are not within your control . Patience also has the power to diminish anger, so get in the habit of deferring your responses when the first response is obviously an emotional one. A Stoic can only be angered if they allow it, and patience will help you to manage what you allow or do not allow to get through. Remember, “Seek not for events to happen the way that you wish. Rather, you should wish for things to happen as they do for a happier life." [38]

Pause And Take A Deep Breath Get yourself in the habit of stopping for a deep breath or counting to 10 whenever you feel an emotional response is about to force its way out of you. This is going to take some practice (every day, in fact) and is not an ability that is easily won. It is, however, achievable if you try . One thing that can help you is your journal. When you feel an emotional response bubbling to the surface, push it back down and write it down. Another method is this quick meditation exercise, courtesy of Herbert Benson, a Professor of Medicine at Harvard. He recommends listening to your breathing as you breathe slowly, aware of the breathing rhythms while thinking a word of your choosing like “Stoic”, “Logic”, or “Good” as a means of bringing you back to your center. [39] .

Remember, if it is important, will it not still be important tomorrow? Teach yourself never to make hasty decisions, and you will be much happier for it.

Otherwise “Otherwise” means essentially “if things were different, then...". This is actually rather profound. Have you noticed how everyone else's problems seem much easier than your own? What if you had the same problem that you just gave someone sound advice on. Would you advise yourself the same way? You should. There is a lesson in this. The Stoic learns to look at things like a bird, from above, to see how a problem really fits into the scope of things. Learning to distance yourself from a problem in the Stoic way will make your own problems as easy to solve as the ones you have been giving good counsel on already. You know your own advice is good, why not learn how to give it to yourself properly ?

Speak Little And Well If you want your words to be powerful, use fewer of them. Talking about the latest antics of a celebrity, for instance, or even a popular coworker, is wasted time. Why speculate on a stranger's life when you have enough important questions about your own? Gossip also leads to snap judgments, which we love as a species.

As a Stoic, you know that another's life is beyond your control and that there is no way that you can know the reasons behind their actions. Preferably we would advise that you push towards topics of a more challenging nature. New theories on psychology or the latest technology. Especially new modes of thought. By limiting what you choose to say, you will make your words more important and others will notice . In a society where words are wasted so often, you cannot help but notice the economy of the wise. Lastly, joking is fine in moderation, but don't overdo it. As Epicurus tells us, “If he speaks only in jest, his words are foolishness as no one will believe them." [40]

Choose Your Company Well In “Of Human Freedom”, Epictetus says to cultivate not the company of a rich old man, but rather, a philosopher. This is good advice in general. No, you can't choose for all of your friends to be philosophers, but you can cultivate a company with comparable values to your own. [41] The company that you keep is important because we tend to emulate those around us to an extent. While the alternative is others emulating you, the wise choice is always going to be surrounding yourself with those who share your values. Cultivate your growth in the company you keep. There should be no weeds in your garden.

Don’t Speak Too Much About Yourself Just as you conserve your words when it comes to gossip or celebrities, avoid telling your own stories so much. Aside from being humble, this is also a good way to focus your words on important things. The questions of life are more important than the telling of one's own exploits, are they not? Answering direct questions is fine or telling how you learned something, but otherwise, you should advise, rather than advertise .

Speak Without Judging As a Stoic, you should avoid making judgments about other people. Stick to logic. From a practical standpoint, speaking in enmity of another may earn you enmity, and if, instead, it earns you praise, do you really want the praise of someone who enjoys hurtful gossip? Never forget that the best and brightest of us can fall in a heartbeat. Tragedy can affect anyone. Who are we to say that none have a good excuse for it? [42]

Focus On Giving Value Do what you can for your community. You are a part of it, and you set an example for others. Do volunteer work. Help others to learn a skill. Give back to your community .

Nothing insulates us from the bad will of others more than becoming a valuable member of society. Stoicism is not about being a hermit, after all. Throw yourself, heart and soul, into the duty of looking out for both the community and the individual. [43]

Accept The Sacrifices As a Stoic, you will be getting into the habit of breaking down significant problems into smaller, more manageable problems. Part of doing this effectively is a proper understanding of sacrifice. If you think of it in its original connotation, a sacrifice was something that you gave to the gods in exchange for something that you wanted. Your goals are the same, especially the goal of being a true Stoic. Realize that what you want has a cost and weigh it against your goal to determine which has more value to you. What you are losing or what you will gain!

Ruthlessly Protect Your Time A Stoic doesn’t waste their time. You must find the right attitude towards Time so that you can value and allocate it wisely. [44] Those cell phone games? Looking at Facebook all day? These are trivial things, and you are going to need to tone it down.

Certainly, there is nothing wrong with taking a little time to catch up but when these things become all- day habits, then it's time to do a little trimming. You've got more important things to do.

Live Below Your Means Rather than falling to excess, live humbly and your life will be richer for it. Don't you like your small house? How can it be small when it provides shelter and houses your growing virtues? [45] Prioritizing your life is the key to happiness. It's not going to be in that new fancy television or a sports car that moves at speeds you aren't allowed to drive in the first place. So, save the money and live humbly, defining yourself by your actions and not the things which you own. If people choose to judge you for this, then you can bet that their priorities lie in things, not people .

Keep It Simple, Do Your Job Just as all of nature gets up and does what it is supposed to do in the morning, so should you. Don't complicate your life with procrastination when it comes to your work and your place in society. A Stoic knows that working hard is a key part of happiness. After all, what do people say when you are depressed?

Keep yourself busy. Be industrious by nature, and you'll find that this attitude creeps into everything that you do. Once your work is done, the remaining time is yours, so get it out of the way !

Memento Mori Do not fear death because it is only natural. Everyone is going to die sometime. As you cannot know when this will be, you should use this realization to spur you in hoarding your time. Live every day as if it were your last. It could be, you know? By recognizing this and striving to fill your time with things which you can control, managed well, you can ensure that the emptiness which some feel in life will never get close to you. Seneca once said that Socrates' death by hemlock made him great in that it demonstrated his complete lack of the fear of death. He practiced what he preached, a Stoic until the end. When you read about Seneca's death, you can see for yourself if he was able to do the same. Memento Mori, indeed!

Chapter 22 Daily Stoic Routine To develop yourself as a Stoic, you are going to need to change a lot of things. We are going to start with your daily routine. We've selected several daily exercises that will help to bring your way of thinking into a sharp focus as you teach yourself how to control what you can control.

Morning Routine Every morning you'll have four tasks to perform without fail. These exercises are vital as they are going to help you to develop insight into all of the tasks that you need to do. Not just in the doing, either. These exercises will prepare you to expect and to deal with things when they go wrong so that you are not controlled by your own emotions when this happens. You should start with the following:

Meditation - As a simple meditation to help to ground yourself in a core Stoic concept, find a comfortable place to sit, close your eyes, and start to focus on your breathing. Breathe in for a count of 6, hold it for a count of 6, and exhale for a count of 6. With each count, you should tell yourself, “I will only concern myself with the things which are within my control.”. Meditate in this fashion for 10 to 15 minutes each morning and note it in your journal to keep track. A View From Above - Arrange your current life's problems in front of you and take a mental step back. Think about how these problems fit into the scope of things. Maybe you don't currently have a job, or the rent is late. Yes, these things can be stressful, but only if you let them. Realize that the world goes on and that you are exactly where you need to be. By seeing things in their proper place, these problems will lose their stressful aspects and become what they

should be. Something that you can address without stress. Negative Visualization - Take a few minutes to visualize the worst things that could happen currently. You could be penniless and homeless, for instance. Worse, a car accident could take away your ability to walk. Get creative. This Stoic exercise is designed not to be morbid, but rather to reinforce an appreciation for what you have as well as to prepare you for the worst. If the worst does come, you will have years of practice for it and you will not only endure. You will thrive. Contemplation Of The Sage - Take something that inspires you, be it a feat that impresses you or a particular person that you admire. This should be a reflection of the type of person you wish to be. Focus on this and let it inspire you throughout the day.

Daily Routine Next, we are going to focus on things that you can do during the day to cultivate the Stoic way of thinking. Reflect this way of thinking in your actions and you will be well on your way to where you need to be. Think of it as “flexing your Stoic muscles”. As such, a simple way to remember your daily routine until it has become a habit is to use the acronym “BICEP” (like the muscle). It is short for the following daily activities: B e Aware - Be aware of yourself and your character throughout the day. Make decisions the same way that your role model would, for instance. Be on your best behavior. A Stoic has good character, and this is something that you must develop. The first reward of a benefit is awareness of it. [45]

I ndifference And Acceptance - Things happen. You must accept and remind yourself that they are neither good nor bad until you have decided how you will perceive them. A job lost can be an inspiration to get something better. A relationship that didn't work out means you will be single when the right person comes around. It is all about interpretation, and the harm that comes from these things comes only when a Stoic allows them this power. C ognitive Distancing - When you feel an emotional response coming, take a deep breath, and defer it. Do not make a decision based on this emotion and if it seems overpowering, take a deep breath and remove yourself from the situation to regain your composure. It helps if you write down the emotion-based decision that you were going to make and then wait until later to read it and see if it is still what you want. Often you will find that the emotionbased decision was poorly chosen. E mpathetic Understanding - When another person seems to be acting irrationally, withhold judgment, and instead tell yourself, “This is the only way that they know how to deal with this.” As you cannot know their intentions, it is possible that their behavior is to be expected or not as strange as it appears. Remember that like you, another person can only do what they think is best and it is illogical to judge them for it. P hysical Self-Control Training - At least once a day, tell yourself “no” or “yes”. The “no” will be for a temptation, such as that extra dessert or the desire to sleep in. The “yes” should be for something outside your normal scope, like going to see that museum exhibit or a social event that you have been invited to, like a concert. It seems small, but little exercises in control may be built up to great effect over time.

Evening Routine

In the evening, a Stoic should be contemplative of the day's actions. This is a great time to write them down in your journal for future review as well, as documenting your thoughts is an excellent way to see when changes are starting to occur in them. In the present day, the “here and now”, you will want to review your actions to see where you are succeeding and where you are failing to exercise control. This is going to show you what you need to work on so that you can work on these problems with the brutal self-awareness of the Stoic. Do these two things every evening to accomplish this:

1. Triple Reflections - Go over the events of your day 3 times asking yourself: Was I a “good person” today? - Think of your role models and compare your behavior to this. Not just in the sense of “was I bad” but by thinking on your actions and how they reflected on your character during the day. This will teach you always to strive to be your best. What virtues have I followed today? - Were you humble? Did you speak less as you have been taught? Did you defer emotional response whenever possible? At first, you may find it difficult, but by asking yourself this hard question, you will begin modifying your behavior so that you ARE exercising Stoic virtues, and you will have many to list for yourself when you contemplate this. Remember, it is easy to note or challenge another's virtues while ignoring or neglecting your own. [46] Did I make thoughtful decisions today? - Think of all of the decisions which you had to make during the day. Were these good decisions, or were they the product of emotions, temptations, or other undesirable influences? Be brutally honest

with yourself. If you recognize a poor decision, then you can avoid making the same mistake twice, but if you don't force yourself to look at your actions, then you will not grow as a Stoic. Did I behave irrationally today? - Upon reviewing the events of the day thrice, is there anything that sticks out as irrational, now that it is something in the past? Irrational behavior is much easier to realize once you are “out of the moment”, and by acknowledging it in the evening, you will empower yourself to defer these irrational choices when they come next time. How can I improve? - What did you not like about your day that you feel you can improve upon. Keep in mind that it needs to be something within your control. Wanting to influence anything that is not in your control is dangerous. It makes us feel powerless and we make poor decisions. Remember to base your happiness on what you can affect. So, with these things, how can you improve? 2. Amor Fati - Relax and take a moment to embrace your past. Realize that everything which has happened up to this point has brought you to your present. Love this fact. Everything that you are hinges on it, in fact. If it helps, google some of the famous people of history which you have admired and look for bad things that have happened in their lives. You should realize that everyone, great and small, can be brought low. By accepting that this is Fate and out of our control, we can learn to love it. For what are we but the sum of our parts?

Seneca sums it up nicely, asking, “Why should I grieve or be outraged if I meet the fate shared by all who are just a little ahead of me?” . Love your Fate and own it, it's the Stoic way.

More Stoic Exercises To Do Throughout The Week Aside from your daily routine, we've put together a few exercises that you can do throughout your week. Stoicism is a difficult path, but practice makes perfect, so hoard your time like a good Stoic and spend it on making yourself stronger.

Exercise 1: “ Kissing A Mortal ” This one seems a bit grim if you aren't looking at it the Stoic way. Epictetus tells us when kissing a loved one, like your wife or child, that you should remind yourself that you are “kissing a mortal” because nothing is permanent, especially those we love. You could look at this practice as a morbid thing to think, or you could try perceiving it this way: How much more will you treasure those close to you when you are daily reminding yourself of their mortality? Nothing lasts. Possessions and people do not last. A Stoic realizes this, and as even our bodies are on loan, death was sometimes referred to as “this person was returned”. Once you recognize this, then you will be more prepared inwardly for the time when you might lose them but better than this, you will know when that happens that you appreciated them every day of your life. So, kiss your loved ones, daily, as many times as you can, and remind yourself that you are

“kissing a mortal” .

Exercise 2: Practicing Patience Practicing patience doesn't have to be difficult, and you can tune-out a little in the process. The next time that you have an appointment somewhere to meet a friend, to see a movie, or anything else that is scheduled for a particular time, you should plan to arrive one or two hours early. You can bring your cell phone but turn it to silent and resist the urge to play with it. Bring something to read to steep yourself a little more in Stoicism. Something good from Seneca, Epictetus, or Marcus Aurelius will do the trick. Then, simply wait for your appointment. Be at peace. Learn not to feel rushed. If you like, bring a highlighter and you can note portions of the book that you wish to contemplate later. By making yourself wait for things, you will increase your patience at the same moments that you are learning good ways to allocate your time. Try it! You'll be amazed by how you feel when you aren't always in a hurry to get to something.

Exercise 3: Exercise Regimen

Building endurance boosts your body's natural strength at the same time that it enhances your patience. It also boosts your will, because if it were easy, EVERYONE would do it . We recommend hiring a personal trainer for once a week sessions at your local gym. Later, when you get to this, consider twice a week. If the cost of the trainer is prohibitive, go for one “trained” session and one “unsupervised” session a week, or you can do a little online research and create an exercise regimen for yourself. Once you know what machines and various kinds of weights are available in the gym, you can even join an online exercise forum and you'll find many people willing to help you for free. If you can do this twice a week for sessions of 30 minutes each, you will find your will sharpening up slowly and noticeably. Count on it .

Exercise 4: No-Power Weekend Spend a weekend as if your electricity has been knocked out by a storm or you were not able to pay the bill. Get some candles in advance for light and be ready to eat things out of cans with your can opener or other items that don't need refrigeration (take your drinks out of the fridge and drink them warm, no cheating!). This will give you an experience that people in less developed parts of the world go through all the time. Electric “brownouts” are frequent in many places, and where you live, people are experiencing the same from simple non-payment of the bill.

You should understand what that is like. This exercise builds an appreciation for the things that you have and also will surprise you a little when you figure out that you can still keep yourself entertained. Try this exercise once or twice a month and journal your results. By candlelight, of course!

Exercise 5: Speaking Only When Spoken To Spend a week where you only speak in response, rather than initiating or “jumping in” to other people's conversations. This is harder than it sounds, but there are a lot of rewards to this. A Stoic learns to wield their words economically, meaning that you want to use them only when there is something important to say. While you are doing this exercise, you will want to have a notebook handy. Make notes as you notice throughout the day what people are talking about. Make a little shorthand for your notetaking (using nicknames or numbers, for instance, will help avoid any accidental awkwardness if someone notices you writing). At the end of each day of the one-week experiment, you should evaluate what you have learned. How many productive conversations did you hear as opposed to a celebrity or local gossip? Do you notice how most conversations are competitions between the speakers to speak most about themselves? Seeing how prevalent this is in your own circles is the first step to curing yourself of the same habits.

Try it and see!

Exercise 6: Volunteer Work Commit one day a week to volunteer work for a month. It can be anything you like. You can help at your local library, for instance. You can help out at a homeless shelter. Find a group that is doing carpentry work for folks with lesser income. What you do is up to you, but do it. As a Stoic, you must learn to be a strong contributor to your community. Also, don't brag about it. Remember to be humble. You can tell someone if they ask, for instance, “Why can't you go out on Saturday?” but unless directly asked, don't advertise. Help your community not to look good but to BE good. For the Stoic, the act is the reward.

Exercise 7: Embrace Minimalism Get yourself a notepad, and over the weekend, do an inventory of things that you have at home that you simply don't need. We're not talking about sentimental items, rather things that you could live just fine without. Break down your clothes wardrobe, for instance, and donate the excess to the Salvation Army. Do you really need 10 or more pairs of shoes? There's another suitable target for you. Items you are storing in another room in the house on the off-chance that you'll need them again, these should go too.

A Stoic counts their blessings and understands that there is very little that we actually need. Try this exercise to get rid of a bit of excess that you are hanging on to, and if you like the feeling (which you will if you do it, trust us on this), we would highly recommend reading up on minimalism. There are many tips and tricks both in books and online that can help you to get all that excess out and focus simply on what you need. Live humbly and appreciate what you have, you're only “borrowing it”, after all. You can only own your own happiness.

Exercise 8: Emotional Journal You can do this with a separate journal (or simply use a different color ink so that these entries stick out). For a month, write down anything that provokes the urge for an emotional response. Do this whether you were able to resist it or not (also note how you reacted) and write down what anything that happened earlier that day, which you think contributed to your emotional response. At the end of the month, spend some time reviewing this. Do you notice any trends in the types of things that “set you off”? If the emotional response is the result of a building-up of events earlier in the day, then you can work on deferring your responses to these events so that you can learn to take different impressions from them. For instance, if someone is mean in the morning, you can take offense or allow yourself to be hurt, or think to yourself that this person is obviously having a bad day and is limited to expressing themselves in this way. If you can't get coffee in the morning, you could be unhappy and complain about it or take it as a cue that maybe juice is a good start for this day.

Keeping an emotional journal and attempting to note “triggers” will slowly give you a proper picture of why you behave the way that you do. Once you know your triggers, then YOU can begin preparing for them so that you are in control of how you choose to perceive them .

Exercise 9: Virtue Of The Day Dedicate the day for looking for a chance to exercise a particular virtue. Cultivation of virtues comes from practice. Some example virtues you might work on:

Courage - Do something that daunts you. Go on a social outing that you would typically avoid from fear. Speak more in a work meeting when you are normally silent. Basically, go out of your comfort zone for a moment to exercise your courage. Temperance - Spend the day enjoying the little things. There is an abundance in having your needs met that we tend to forget in this age of excess. Have an apple outside on a bench in the park, for instance. Pack a nice lunch and skip that restaurant on your lunch break. Live on less to live more. Justice - Pay extra special attention to how you treat and interact with others. Make an extra effort to be “fair” in all of your dealings. Focusing on this virtue can be quite enlightening, as sometimes we are unfair to others without realizing it. Pay a little extra attention, and see what you learn from it. Wisdom - Take a little time reading Epictetus or some of the other core texts and then try to find some recommendations that you can “try on the field”. For example, where we are told to be careful of the company we keep, you could exercise this principle by trying to

spend more time that day around people who are good for you. In this, we would recommend getting a copy of “Discourses” as listed in our Bibliography. You will find many practical instructions which you can easily apply in everyday life. Examples such as getting in the habit of not making promises, ignoring rumors, and more!

Exercise 10: Analysis Of The Past One way to help to inspire yourself to wait before making decisions is this. Make yourself a small notepad where you make a list of poor decisions that you have made, which were much clearer later. Don't make this into an excuse to be sad. Simple things like “I shouldn't have started that business without researching” or “I shouldn't have gotten a pet that I didn't have time for” are good examples. Decisions that are emotional produce an arguably large portion of stress in our lives. By carrying around a quick-reference in your pocket, you have a physical reminder that you can call on when you “feel an emotional decision coming on”. It is good to give yourself a reminder that mistakes can be easily made and that most often, these lapses in judgment are due to emotion . Once a week, write down five bad decisions in the notebook (it should be pocket-sized) and add to it for a month. At the end of this month, start adding current “bad decisions” as you make them. What do the older entries and the current ones tell you? While it seems a bit basic, this is actually a perfect way to be more mindful of

your decisions and to highlight any particular triggers that you will want to address. Write it, be honest, and learn from it!

Chapter 23 Watch Day-To-Day Improvements Gauging your progress is a slow process, but it is something that you will want to do. Think of it like erosion. A process of nature that means trickles of rainwater can one day sculpt mighty canyons. Your daily routines will help to enforce the application of logic and a slow but growing mastery over knee-jerk emotional responses. This is not only achievable; it is inevitable if you set yourself on the Stoic path and stick with it. Some things that you may notice as you go:

Interactions With Others Will Become More Productive - By learning to defer emotion-based decisions and reactions, you will find that you can get more done. People tend to prod others into making emotional responses, often to take control of a situation. By taking a deep breath first or even deferring an important response by a day so that you can analyze the facts, YOU will be the one in control, and others will notice that you tend to get things done. You Will Take More Notice Of Others Making Emotion-Based Decisions - As you get into the habit of making decisions based on sense instead of “sensation”, there is a curious side effect. When someone around you makes a poor decision that is obviously emotionally motivated, it will stick out like a sore thumb. Resist the urge to advise them at this point unless you are asked. You still have a lot of learning to do and a Stoic should remain humble. Prioritization Of Your Goals Provides A Feeling Of Security - In general, that sense of “ I don't know where I'm going” is not so much a lack of concrete goals as it is the presence of too many ill-

defined goals to succeed realistically. Through prioritizing your goals and sacrificing the things you don't need, you will always know in which direction you are headed. It is a good feeling. You'll Shine Brighter Once You Don't Need To - Once the only person you are trying to impress is yourself, then you will start to stick out from the pack. This is because of the rarity of people who define themselves with actions rather than words. Help your community, orient on your goals, speak less. People cannot help but notice a quiet depth of character. Involvement In Your Community Will Lead To A Better Quality Of Friends - By giving back to your community you will come in touch with others who have a deep care for giving back and helping to build a better community. Associate with these people as much as possible. A Stoic is a model “citizen”. Others Will Start Asking You For Advice - As your selfdiscipline and careful decision-making skills become apparent, people are going to notice it. They will know that you are focused, you are dependable. You are in charge of your happiness and not wasteful of time. They are going to start asking you questions, so get used to it. Advise them and tell them how you've come to your conclusions. It is good practice to examine your own logic out loud and it is instructive to others as well!

Conclusion In this book, we have explored what Stoicism means as well as how you can use it to strengthen your willpower, resist the impulse to make emotional decisions, and own your own happiness. We would advise you to do the exercises that we have taught you as often as possible because Stoicism is not something that you can pick up in a weekend. Philosophy is a way of life and like everything, there will be sacrifices involved in achieving your happiness. So, start doing your exercises TODAY. Keep track of your progress with your journal and in time, you will begin to see the rewards that your hard labors have earned. So will everyone else, in fact, but this is going to take time. For now, remember not to advertise your Stoicism. People like to critique everything that you do, and you won't do yourself any favors by giving them a chance to erode a foundation that you are still building. Stay silent and learn. Let the Stoic in you be shown in your actions. Stay humble and tenacious and before you know it, you'll be advising others about the way of the Stoic!

References [1] Epictetus; Translation by Robert Dobbin; "Discourses and selected writings" pp.468.5, [3] pp.499.7 [4] pp.498.2 [5] pp.461.7 [6] pp.474.5 [7] pp.491.6 [9] pp.393.8 [10] pp.498.9 [12] pp.479.7 [13] pp.336.2 [14] pp.497.5 [15] pp.492.3 [16] pp.472.2 [18] pp.461.1 [19] pp.497.6 [20] pp.155.4 [21] pp.502.7 [23] pp.485.1 [26] pp.480.6 [27] pp.480.6 [28] pp.449.9 [30] pp.208 [32] pp.499.5 [33] pp.338.7 [2] Marcus Aurelius; Produced by Robert Nield, Tom Allen, Charles Franks and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team "The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Aurelius Antonius" pp132.7 [17] pp.209.2 [8] Seneca; "Moral Letters to Lucilius - Letter 18" "XVIII. On Festivals and

Fasting"; "Epistulae Morales ad Lucilium/Letters from a Stoic" [11] Seneca; Translated by Robert A. Caster and Martha C. Russbaum; "Anger, Mercy, and Revenge"; pp.6 7 [22] Marcus Aurelius; Translated by George Long "Book 5";"The Meditations of the Emperor Marcus Aurelius Antonius" pp.20 [24] " pp.9 [25] pp.13 [31] pp.21 [29] Penguin classics; "Seneca - Letters from a Stoic" pp 23.5 [34] Translated by Elaine Fantham, Harry M. Hine, James Ker, and Gareth D, Williams; Seneca; "Hardship and Happiness", pp. 198 [35] Translated by Robert Drew Hicks; Epicurus - Principle Doctrines; pp.1 [36] Loving, Jerome - "MARK TWAIN: THE ADVENTURES OF SAMUEL L. CLEMENS" [37] Seddon, Keith - Chapter 33, 'Epictetus' Handbook and the Tablet of Cebes [38] Edited by Patrick Ussher; "Stoicism Today Selected Writings, Volume 1", pp.210.4 [39] Robert, Donald, "Stoicism and the Art of Happiness" pp.142.9

[40] Translated by Robert Drew Hicks, Epicurus, "LETTER TO MENOECEUS", pp. 24 [41] Translated by Robert Dobbin, Epictetus, 'Of Human Freedom' pp.130 [42] Edited by John M. Cooper and J.F. Procope; Seneca, "Moral and Political essays’, pp.10 1 [43] Penguin Classics, Seneca, "Dialogues and Letters", pp.120.4 [44] Translated by Harry M. Hine; Seneca, "Natural Questions"; pp.8 [45] Translated by Miriam Griffin and Brad Inwood; Seneca, "On Benefits", pp. 83 [46] Translation by Elaine Fantham, Seneca, "Selected Letters", pp.10 [47] Translation by Brad Inwood, "Selected Philosophical Letters"; pp.28

Reference Sourcebooks

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