The Feldenkrais Journal #6 Stories

Citation preview

)

THE FELDENKRAIS IOURNAL NO. 6 WTNTER 1991

stories .r,-_ -

- '- *-L

r.*l-::--.-.,--*

{1

-1*..r

il-

_

:-

.Q

14

-...

1t

-:rz;.--,i-:-,

l

I

\'..

'..

',i:\

The Feldenkrais Iournai is published fwice yearly by the Feldenkrais Guilcl@ for its members. lnquiries regarding this pubiication should be directed to: The Feldenkrais Guild@, P.O. Boxr3e85, Overland park, Kansas 662tz32BE USA. Phone 9r3-492-0955. Material for publication can be sent directly to the

editor, Elizabeth Beringer, at:

715

Cornell Ave., Albany, CA 947o6 USA

Additional copies of this Iournal are available through the Guild office lor

$6

to Guild members and $ro to non-members, (includes postage and handling) Bulk rate fees are available on request. The theme for the Spring rggr issue of the Journal is theoretical models. The deadline for submissions to that issue is already past. if you have an article to submit to the Spring rggr issue please contact Larry Goldfarb immediately. The fall rggr Journal wili have a general theme, and the deadline for submitting articies is May r.

Subscriptions to rhe lournal are no\r availabie. These are designed for people lr,ho are not currentlv receir.ing the Jourr.ral through their Guild. A thr-ee lournal sr-rbscription is sz5 for \. -herican residents and s35 for overseas subscriptions. -{ frr-e issue subscription is s-lo s5o respectiveh'. please send vour ntonev in US dollars directlr'to the Guild office if r-or: are ir.rterested in a sr-ibscriprion. Feldenkrais@, The Feldenkrais Guild@, The Feldenkrais Method@, Functional Integration@, and Awareness Through Movement@, are registered servicemarks of the Feidenkrais Guild@.

Editor: Elizabeth Beringer Co-Editor: Larry Goldfarb Editorial Board: Jack Heggie, Paul Rubin, Arl1,n Zones Design: Margery Cantor Copy editing and prooflng: Maura Daiy, Iim Hauer, Diana Ross

Back Issues:

#r General Issue (xerox copy) Iournal #z Martial Arts Iournal #3 Special Interest Groups Iournal #4 Emotions Journal #5 TheArts Journal

Ail back issues are available through the Feldenkrais Guild office. Price to Guild members is s6, non-mernbers is sro per copy.

The Feldenkrais Iournal

t

number 6 Thble of Contents 3

A Letter from the Editor

5

Letters to the Editor

6

In Memory of Thomas Hanna Ph.D., 1928-1990: The Man and his Stepping Stones Michael foyce

I

"But do you thinkyou can help

fB

The

14

Tourette's Sl.ndrome; in the midst of

fB

The Chances I

20

ANon-Specific

26

MyLeftHip... GabyYaron

28

A Story of Recovery in Two

35

Interviewwith Benjamin Zemach David Zemach-Bersin

38

Paradoxes RuthAlon

39

Pleasure FrankWildman

4l

A Letter from

43

Emily's new

49

Bringing Moshe to the Public at Large: Two new books using exercises based on the Feldenkrais

Tailcoat

me?"

Alan Questel

Chloe Scott

Take

life

Linda Delman

Ianet Tobacman

Treatment

Ioan

a

Moshe Feldenkrais

Voices

Elizabeth Beringer & Marguret Bartusek

Nancy Denenberg

Crutches Larry Goldfarb

Method

Carl Ginsburg

52

Bringing Feldenkrais into the Living of your Life: A review of Ruth Alon's new book Mindful Spontaneity Carl Ginsburg

54

Contributors

I

i-

!i

i,

,!

I

u

I

I

f{.

Ll,

i, il'

,l

;i I

i;

ri I

:I

,l

tI

t\ t t:

-_-_/

..,r>-\,-.-'

I

I

:t

,

=-

i,

11

3

t 1

,

l

i

.!

i

i

trl

1

,

fl I

|,

t

I

i

*

't

ilT\

-l

I I

I

I !

I

t

I

!

I! I

i

,

:

\l !

i

i

i ; f

rl:

jlt,

O Copyright 1990 The Feldenklais Guild. Al1 rights revert to the authors

li

ll

upon publication.

!i

i:,

I.

\.

,\l \i

f

WTNTER

r99r

THE FELDENKRAIS ]oURNAI No. 6

Dear Colleagues, Welcome to the sixth issue of the Feldenkrais Iournal. I am particularly pleasedwith this issue. The subject is "stories," andwe havebeen able to include awide sampling of 'tales from the trade:'Chloe submitted a short and humorous anecdote from her practice; Larry did a cybernetic analysis of a Feldenkrais'conversation;' Linda Delman submitted drawings with her piece; and Nancy Denenberg and I included the student's voice in our stories. Some of the studies cover a very short period, such as Frank Wildman's, where he rvrites about one demonstration lesson, or Gaby's, about one workshop. Other stories go over a number of years including the studyof Moshe's that NlarkReese submittedwhich covers almost aten year period. I am very happy with the variety and I hope you find the tales as fasinating to read as did those of us who put the Iournal together. I decided not to ask for'case studies'because I suspected itwould limit the type of material people would feel comfortable submitting. At the same time, I had in mind the writings ofA.R. Luria and Oliver Sacks and their efforts to redefine and revive, albeit in a medical context, the art of writing a case studl', and their criticisms of this form as it has come to be used in the medical u.orld. The following is a quote from Oliver Sacks' bestselling book of neurological'case studies,' The Man Who Mistook Hts

for a Hat: "Studies, yes; rvhv stories, or cases? Hippocrates introduced the historical conception of disease,.... Hippocratesthus introduced the case history, a description, or depiction, of the natural history of diseaseprecisely expressed by the oldword'pathography.' Such histories are a form of natural history-but they tell us nothing about the individual andhis history; theyconveynothingoftheperson, andtheexperience ofthe person as he faces, and struggles to survive his disease. There is no'subject' in a narrow case history; modern case histories allude to the subject in a cursoryphrase ('atrisomic albino female of zr'),which couldas eas -ilyapplyto arat as ahumanbeing. To restorethehuman subject atthe centre-the suffering, afflicted, fighting, humansubject must deepen a case study to a narrative or tale: only then do we -we have a'who' as rvell as a'what', a real person, a patient, in relation to disease-in relation to the physical." Sacks goes on to sayhowthe art ofwriting "richlyhuman clinical tales" was well-practiced at the end of the nineteenth century and has declined since then "with the advent of an impersonal neurological science." As Feldenkrais teachers we are not writing from a medical perspective, however I thinkit is interesting to note that the kind of writingwe are doing here has a tradition and a history, and that there are parallel debates going on in other fields about describing clinical experience. Perhaps the biggest issue we have to contend with when we write about our work is the gap between our non-verbal experience and the act of expressing that experience in language. Everyone who speaks or writes about the work has to confront this dilemma in some fashion. We have very few examples of Moshe writing about his daily practi ce. In The Case of Wtfe

3

THE FELDENKRAIS ]OURNAL NO. 6

WTNTER

r99r

Nora,which is to mymind in manyways the most important of Moshe's books, Moshe actually spends very little time describing the hands-on workhe does with Nora. Most of the bookis spent talking about Moshe's thinking regarding the case and describing experiments u.ith her writing or perception. I would venture to say that these kinds of experiments are easier to describe than the complex, sensory give and take that goes on moment to moment in most functional integration lessons. There are examples of this kind of description in The Case of Nora, such as on page 36 when he describes rolling her head, but they are few and far betrveen. The act of describingwhatwe do in functional integration is, I feel, a domain we are just beginning to enter as a profession. We do not have many examples to follow, inside our profession, nor can we really borrorv the forms from other disciplines, although I'm sure we can learn from them. In manyways I feel that our hands-onworkis best described in a

poetic language. This feeling parallels what Oliver Sacks talks about: horr to tell a story so that the person stays at the center and so that the n ords do justice to our interactions and silent experience. The articles in this Iournal, each in their own way, address these questions and invite us further into a conversation in which we can all participate. The next issue, Spring rg9r, will be organized by Larry Goldfarb who has become a co-editor of the fournal. The subject is theoretical models. If you are interested in submitting something please contact him immediately-the deadline is already past. As always, articles on any subject will be considered. The following issue, Fall rggr, will be a general issue. I am

particularly interested in receiving more cases along with articles on any other subject!The deadline for thatissue is Mayr, rg9r. Nextyearwill be the finst year that we publish two issues! I would like to thank Larry Goldfarb, Iack Heggie, Paul Rubin and

Zones for their invaluable help in putting this issue together.

Sincerelv,

il/ry

Elizabeth Beringer Editor

4

Arllrr

WTNTER

TIIE FELDENKRAIS IoURNAI No. 6

r99r

Dear Elizabeth, I am impressed byyour thought provoking idea regarding trainings being "private" experiences (your editor's letter in Journai No. S-The Arts). During our training in the summer of rg75 I arranged a meeting after class one day to discuss "feelings." I was quite inexperienced at facilitating groups however and we did not meet again. In retrospect, I wanted to discuss with other students my "experience" during the training. No one else seemed as interested as I, and perhaps thev had other avenues of sharing. I think written and spoken essays and discussions need to be part of all trainings and I'm delighted that you wrote on this idea! The Feldenkrais Iournal is an excellent and exciting method of communication. I can read how Feldenkrais teachers are developing and evolving. \.Vtren Moshe told us to put our own fingerprints on the work, I think this is what he meant: take the basic method and science and use

it to optimize your life. Norma Leistiko Santa Rosa, California P.S. Jack Heggie's X-Ray fingers reall-v

TOUCHED an important pointl

4t Dear Elizabeth I really appreciated vour cornment about peopie goir-rg througl-r prir-ate journeys r,vhile in the training situation. Sometinres it feels like n-e're ali parallel proccessing in hermeticalll, sealed compartments. Iluch has happened to me in relation to the face off benveen mv present \r,ork and Feldenkrais. Especially the issue of context in manv forms has emerged and I promise that I will write something about it. We really all should become more of a context for each other I agree, so I guess I'11 try to begin somehow. The magazine was very nicely produced and I read it cover to cover for the first time. Eveline Pos Toronto, Canada i&

Dear Elizabeth, Thank you so much for the Journal. It is a forum I both enjoy and trust a haven from the politics, egos and conflicts that often seem to arise in the Feldenkrais community. It is like one of those deep breaths that escape when some moventent feels right and elegant. The Iournal reflects the curiosity and pleasure that is the joy of our work. There are surprises. It's good. There are insights. It's good. There is learning. It's good. Thanks.

ShelleyDuke, Toronto, Canada

/iL

Lettersto the editor

THE FELDENKRAIS IOURNAL NO. 6

\1-r\TER

l99l

In Memory

of Thomas HAnna, Ph.D., tgzS-tggo: The man, and his stepping stones by Michael loyce M.S., D.C.

6

Thomas Hanna had a personal philosophy of life: Enjoy all the little things in life, create \vavs to make your daily tasks pleasing; learn to love life moment bv moment. He lived that philosophywith elegant simplicitv. Her,r,asgood atit. Herras aglou,withthe joyandloveof living. It radiated to a1l those around him. Thomas Hanna explored livingr,r'ith enthusiasm, and a practiced inteliigence. His explorations of life lvere both professional and personal. He u,as an intellectual, an athlete, a u-riter, a philosopher, a teacher, entrepreneur, gourmet cook, musician, and -+9er fan. He generouslr-shared the lruit of his personal explorations and creativitr . He entertained in his kitchen for hours, preparing a gourmet meal u hile alternatir-rg philosophical discussionswith culinary criti ques on the taste of different chiles, or making quince preserves. \lusic \vas a source of r-itaiitr- in his life each day, both listening to others and creating it himseif in song and p1a-vinghis guitar. He drew people in n ith his music; spontaneous 1r'rics to and about a child, songs that touched the emotions, music vou became apartofmaking. With Tomyou engaged music andyou engaged life. Tom had an appreciation and reverence lor movement of the body and for the joy and life-giving qualities he erperienced. After earning his Ph.D. in the Philosophy of Religion at the University of Chicago, his continued personal search led to yoga. \\-hi1e Chairman of the Philosophy Department at the University of Florida, he also taught yoga classes. These classes became so popular the Unir,ersity gave him the football playing field to accommodate the hur-rdreds of participants. He began each daywith movement on the floor olhis Iiving room. This was central to his creative process, rvl-rich included movement, insight, reflection, research, writing and speaking. He was best known among Feldenkrais practitioners as a rvriter and the publish er of Somatlcsmagazine, but he also plar ed a lead role in the emergence of Moshe Feldenkrais and his Israeli assistants into public vier,v in the United States. As president of the Hun-ranistic Psr-chologrInstitute he organized and sponsored the first formal Feldenkrais training program in the U.S., and recruited manr- of the o rigir-rai fiftvsixAmerican practitioners, including himseil. A truiy gentle and sensitive man of great intellect and integrity, a man of dignitywithoutpresumption, Tom Hanna u-as a genius as a communicator. Tom was also intensely curious. It was his great curiosity that formed the roots of his proliflc writing, and the fertile soil of the common ground of friendships extending around the globe with practitioners, psychologists, physicians, academics, performers, and lay people. He maintained ongoing dialogues, seeking and sharing information for years. Through dialogue, research ofprofessional literature, review of thorough client records, and insight into his personal and practical experience, Tom developed an extraordinary understanding of Feldenkrais'work and the underlying mechanisms unique to its effectiveness. This became his primary field of study: the art and science of

WTNTER

r99r

THE FEI,DENI(RAIS IOURNAL NO. 6

the interpellation process of awareness, biological function, and environment. He termed this the fleld of "somatics," stemmingfrom the Greekword "soma," meaning the exper- ience of the livingbodl, within itself, i.e. the first person, self sensing, self aware perceptive experience of living beings rvho can change themselves, as experienced

fromthe inside. This is aviewdifferent from the third person, physiologicalvien' institutionalized in the primary health care and education professions of our society. Tom Hanna consideredthis thirdpersonviewto be deceptive, incomplete, and to ignore a fundamental truth about human beings. ForTom, medicine's abilityto help humanbeings was insufficient because its view of the human being is insufficient. It was his belief that the somatic viert point must be added to the "scientiflc" objective bodilyviewpoint if \l,e are to understand human beings, andwhat happens to us over the course of our lives. By defining the fleld of so matics, and clearly stating its differnce from third person-based professions, Tom delineatedthe scope of endeavor of somatic professions. His lifer,r,ork produced a number of stepping stones to the establishment of this profession. During the earlv rgTos tl-rrough to his death on ]uly 29, rggo, Thomas Hanna helped launch the flrst,\n-rerican Professional Feldenkrais Training, served on the founding board of the Feldenkrais Guild, and established Sornatics magazine, amajorr-oice inthe fleld. He made manymajor contributions to our bodr"of kr-ron-ledge. He u-as a master of his art, and eminentlr-successful in his practice. He rras a potr-erful force for the practicai effectiveness, integritr-, progress, recognition and ascent of the somatic profession. His book Somatics.(Addison-Wesler', igBB) detailed his practical techniques and the associated neurological functions, and reflected both a summary of his view of the somatic fleld and his approach to the professional training of thirty eight students during the last months of his life.

Tom Hanna's contribution to humanitywill continue through the hearts, minds, and hands of others. We mournthe loss of aflne manwho gave so vitally to the creation of a somatic profession, and we are grateful for his stepping stones that remain.

Thomas Hanna Memorial Scholarship Fund Sonoma State UniversityAcademic Foundation Sonoma State Universitv Sonoma, CA gs+26

7

THE FELDENKRAIS JOURNAT NO. 6

"BUT DO YOU

THINK YOU CAN

HELP ME?" by Alan

B

S.

Questel

\1-TNTER 1991

Shortly after I had given a lecture about the Feldenkrais Method a young woman asked me to speak to her mother. Freda R. was seated, hiding her right hand, She had suffered a stroke in rgB6. She wanted to knou, if I could help her. We talked about learning, what happens u,hen someone has a stroke, and what might be expected from the kind of u'ork I do. No matterwhat I said she asked again and again, "But do r,ou think you can help me?" In all honesty, I was not that interested in r,r,,orking rvith Freda. She irritated me. She didn't listen to me and everything she said came out as a rvhine. I mention this only because lt hen I did begin to u ork rr ith her, I found in her someone who I could never have irnagined beneath that exterior. She was an intelligent, sensitir.e indir-idua1 r,t ith a desire to learn and a deep sense of integrity. It has been a great lessorl to me about what is possible, and what I can learn about mv own judgment. Freda R. was a 56 year old, divorced mother ol four neariy gro\vn daughters. She lost the use of her right hand after her stoke, could not bear weight on her right leg, and had rvhat she referred to as almost no sensation on the right side of her mourh. I began r,vorking r,vith her in March rg88, and saw her twice a rveek for about eight months a 1,s21, until April r99o. Freda's entire right side n as relatir-e1r lifeless. Her ribs barelv mor-ed and she had no sense of lr,here her pelr-is u'as. Her arm was pulled tight up against her torso, her hand \\-as spasticaliy contracted and could only be pried oper-r n'ith great effort. \\Ihenever she was sat, she uncolrsciousl\. tried to pu1l her fingers open u.ith the other hand. She onlr' u,anted to knorr'"So rvhat's going to be rtith this hand?" Her self-in-rage rer-oh-ed almost entirelr'around "this hand" and what it couldn't do. \\-1-ren Freda rr alked, u-ith t1-re help of a cane, she dragged her right leg. She cor-r1dn't fler her foot, u-hich she kept in a plastic brace, and rvas unable to straigl-rten her knee. To her, the whole leg felt like a piece of dead n'ood. She had diftculty maintaining her balance and fell ser erarl times a month. Initiallr- I introduced some rotation in Freda's torso. I rvorked rr-itl-i her on her sides, orienting her to the movements in her ribs and slorvir extending her attention to what was happening in her shoulders and pelvis. After each lesson she felt small changes: her Ieg felt more alir-e rvith nerr,, although often unidentiflable sensations. No rnatter rr hat 1 did u,ith Freda, she r,rranted to know when her hand rvould u-ork again. Although her concern was understandable, it minimized nerv develop ments in her abilities. I felt that working with her hand u,ould not be effective until her shoulder began to free up a bit. Out of frr-istratior-r with her preoccupation with her hand, I flnally spent almost an entire lesson on Freda's hand. I can't say there was arl)' impror-ement. \\-hen she stood up and started walking around she said "N,Iv arm feels better, and it's funny, my leg is different too, but what's going to be rvith mr, mouth?"

\

/TNTER 1991

THE FELDENT(RArS JouRNAt No. 6

I proceeded to tell her the following story. A mother and child were at the beach. The child was playing by the shore, when suddenly a huge tidal wave came sweeping in and hurled the child out to sea. The mother went running down to the shore and started to scream "Oh God, dear God, please give me back my child! He's an innocent, please dear God, give me back my baby, he knows no wrong! Please, give me back ml' childl" Iust then, another huge wave came sweeping back in and dropped the child, leaving him playing as if nothing had happened. The mother looked down at the child and then up to the heavens and said "He had a hat!" Freda laughed and said "I get it." I found out later that Freda told this joke to almost everyone she knew. From that point on, rvhenever Freda dwelled on what r.asn't rvorking I said "I know. You had a hat" and we would both laugh.

I continued teaching Freda about rotation as well as flexion and extension. Much of our rt ork identified where body parts were, relative to these actions. As her self-image became clearer, I began to look at how we might improve her gait and ability to use her leg more efficiently. For her right leg to support her, she had to be able to straighten her knee as she came onto her Ieg. \\:e rvorked on der,eloping a more skeletal sense in her right 1eg. Eventuallr-, ul-rile lr-ing on her back, r,r,ith her leg straight, she could begin to push her foot into mv hand. \\then standing, this quickly transiated into a leg that could support her rveight safelr'. Freda's gait rvas still r'erv uneven. She still dragged her right leg and she took long steps n-ith her left Ieg so she could co\-er rnore distance, more quicklv. After a lesson rrhere her pelr-is and back seemed fairlr-free, I asked Freda to get up and rvaik, taking babr- steps u-ith her left leg and to let her right leg move normall_v. Freda's n alking began to look normal, although she moved very slowly. She started to sense horv taking a smaller step with her left leg kept her more balanced and feeling safer. It also gave her the chance to feel how she could begin to mobilize her pelvis as part of walking. Freda has only fallen once since this lesson. Throughout this time Freda's arm had begun to relax. Whenever she tried too hard or was upset, however, her arm would contract again. She still tried to pry her hand open compulsively and unconsciously. After we talked about it she would stop for a while, and then go back to it. Watching her one day, I asked her if she had ever had pets. She never had, but always wanted one. I asked her to consider that if she had a stiff pet, would she try to relax it all the time? Of course she wouldn't. I asked her to find a name for her hand and to treat it gently and with love, as if it was her pet. This suggesstion was not meant to dissociate Freda from her hand but rather to bring about a new association that would bring her closer to owning her hand and treating it/her more kindly. She never did name her hand. I think she thought I was being silly. Yet soon after I heard her refer to it as "her hand," and I began to notice that she flddled with it much less. As I worked more directlywith her hand,I didn't have much hope for it. It would open once in a while, but not for very long, and never of her own volition. We spent time developing Freda's ability to flex her hand once I had helped her get it open. Mostly I simply found ways to open her hand. I asked Freda to carry a toy ball, made of light sponge with a bell inside, in her hand when she walked around her house. I thought that by

t.,

- -'q-.

G

:--,-

' ,

/ a

+

*u _-.l-

I

THE FELDENKRAIS IOURNAI NO. 6

I

lo

\1r\TER r991

giving her a reason to have her hand flexed we might learn somethir-rg. Freda came back and reported that she could carr\,it in her hand, but after a while it would fall to the floor. This meant that her hand relaxed on its own. The bell helped her notice when she dropped 1t, and the ball's light weight didn't put any undue stress on her system. I told Freda to keep doing it, and to pick the ball up when it dropped. Or-er the ne\t t\\ o months she developed the ability to keep the ball in her hand u ithor,rt dropping it unknowingly. While this did not give her back the use ol1-rer hand, Freda began to gain control over her arm. When it pu11ed up into the air she began to be able to relax it downward simpl-v bv thinking about it. Freda's background is of some signiflcance here. She is an Orthodor Jerv. She left an abusive marriage that no one supported fron-r the starr. She has four daughters and lives in an Orthodox communitt'. After her divorce she sold real estate, but since her stroke she couldn't \\-ork or support herself. Her family and friends helped her out and she felt r err guiltr about this. Everyone in Freda's family thought "enough is enough, alreadr', " that she should just accept her disability and forget about it. Freda couldn't forget it. She was an exceptionally strong r,villed and determined person. The fact that she let a man touch her (being Orthodor) rr-as proof of her desire and drive to improve. During her relativelr' unsuccessfui phr sical therapy immediately following the stroke, one therapist told her that she wasn't improving because she wasn't exercising enough. \\'hater-er Freda did, she did a little too much. She rvorried too much about horr-she brought everything on herself, first the bad marriage, then the stroke, then not enough exercise, hence her lack of recovery. As far as Freda \vas concerned it was all her fault. From my perspective, Freda took on too much of the blame and did altogether too much exercise. Anything that I suggested she try at honte quickly became part of an exercise regimen, until she was doing 45 t-ninutes of exercise three times a day. When I discovered this i suggested si-ie cut back. She got very anxious since she felt that not exercising enougl-r was what kept her disabled. As a compromise, I suggested she pick one exercise a day and do it for onh. a couple of minutes, three times a dar-. We spent a great deal of time learning the difference between ar1 e\ercise and a movement exploration. Freda accepted it and varied her explorations daily. After a few weeks she had gone through all of her exercises. "What now?", she wanted to knorv, "Do them again", I said, "and rr-hen ].ou've gone through them all, do them again." I had an idea that this might teach her that it wasn't the lack of exercise that was the probler-n. Tr,r,o months later I went out of town for three weeks. I asked Freda not to do anv exercises while I was gone. She became very upset. I poir-rred out that reducing her regimen hadn't caused any regression, and erplained that if by not exercising at all some regression did occr.rr, I ir ould soon be back and we could gain back an.,r losses. What happened canre as a complete surprise to me. Upon my return Freda reported that 'sontething funny had started to happen." Early in the morning she rr ouid wake up and feel her hand opening by itself. I couldn't erplair-r this, er cept that as she stopped her habitual routines, the non-habitLral hap pened. I told her to continue with her new'no-exercise regimen' and observe how her hand responded. More anC more frequentlr.her har-rd

WTNTER

l99l

THE FELDENKRATS IouRNAt No. 6

began to open by itself, sometimes staying open for an entire minute before it closed again. Her hand was still not functional, but I felt we had arrived at another approximation in this process. Meanwhile, Freda's back and pelvis participated more activelf in her walking. Eventually her gait reached a normal speed and became fairl-v symmetrical. Her arm could hang freely, and she could raise it to scratch her chin. One of her daughters was getting married soon, and she rvondered if I thought she might wear heels. I thought'No way', but I said "I don't know. " I told her r,ve could try an experiment, but not to get attached to the idea. I explained that the heel had to bevery low and broad, and that she should buy an inexpensive pair of shoes first. Next week, she came in with a pair of two-inch spiked heels. I laughed. What else could I do? Two weeks later she brought in a pair more like what I had described. Before we even started to work she wanted to know if she could do it without her brace (she had been walking without the brace in her home). I suggested we take it one step at a time. We worked with her foot standing on the table. Her ankle collapsed or got stiff and I began to think it may not work. I thought it might help to have her experience what the shoe felt like as we worked. With the shoe on, her ankle didn't know what to do. As her environment became somewhat precarious, her confused ankle began to respond differentlv. \Vith the shoe off she had a much clearer sense of rvhere her ankle tvas and hou'it could move, as'nr,ell as an enhattced sense of her skeleton. Over the next fe\\'rveeks Freda began to learn to n alk itl lotl heels. Freda rvore heels to her daughter's u'edding, but the ercitenlent made it difficult to maintain her nervlv iearned abilitr- for long. Freda \\-as not upset about switching back to her flat shoes. She felt that she had succeeded because she could wear high heels for short periods of time, and she knew that her skill would continue to improve. I had other guidelines in my work with Freda for her improvement and growth. She called me at least four times a week, asking the same questions and apologizing for calling. The more I told her she didn't need to apologize and that I understood her concerns, while letting her talk as long as she liked, the less she called. Once allowed to voice her concerns to an ear that listened, the less she needed to depend on me. Freda always waited to the end of our sessions before writing a check, and as she wrote she usually talked and stoped writing. Consequently I almost always ran over with her. She came to our sessions about half an hour early, and sat in the waiting room. I believed that the day she wrote the check before the lesson would mark a big change in her, and I can still remember when it happened. From then on she either wrote the check early, or wrote it within the time frame of the lesson. A few months later I commented on her change in behavior. She told me that she noticed it too and wondered why she hadn't done it earlier. We decided that it

happened at just the appropriate time. As I mentioned earlier, Freda's family was not very supportive. She consistently asked her mother if she could perceive differences. Her mother would say no, and ask her if her hand would ever get better (nor'rr I knowwhere some of this came from). One dayFreda came in and told me that she'd decided not to ask for feedback from her family, especiallv her mother. Several weeks later she told me with great surprise that sud-

ll

THE FELDENI(RAIS JOURNAI NO. 6

\11\TER r9g1

denly people, including her family, were telling her horl she rvas intpror'ing. Her ability to take responsibility for the changes she felt gave Freda a new independence. About one year into our work Freda asked me hou, long I thor,rght she would have to continue to see me. I didn't know, and said that as long as she continued to improve I would be happy to work lr,ith her, and tl-rat it was most likelv that she would tell me when it was time to stop. She said "You knon rvhat I mean, my hand. When will I be able to use it like a normal hand?" I said again that I had no idea, and that she u-ou1d decide to stop our u.ork for one of three reasons: if she regained all of her lunc tioning; if she ceased to show any signs of improvement; or if s1-re reached a ler-el of acceptance about who she is, with her abilities as rhev are, and u ith the knorvledge that she can live a full, vital, and happr 1ile. Freda and I have explored many other functions and ha-,,e taken rlanv interesting side trips and detours in our two years of work together. (\\-hat took me rveeks to figure out r,rrith her, happens more quicklr-norr tr hen I rr ork n-ith others.) She has started looking into selling real esrate again and has receir-ed permission from her doctor to get a driver's license. Learning n-ith Freda has been a real joy. She has impror-ed her or-erall functioning, gro\\'n to accept herself more fully, and has begun ro live her life again on her o\\.n terms. N,Iy rvork with Freda has taught me a great deal about r,vhat is possible for all of us as students, as practirioners, and as human beings.

al,

\ I

The last time I saw Freda her left hand was uery painful and her firtgertips looked blackened, as if she had been reading the newspaper. I u,as uen, concerned, and could feel nothing noticeable or recognizable irt lter ltattd or arm. I left it alone thinking "better not to play with sometlting so unknown to me." I told Freda she should go directly to her doctor .front nt1, office. She said she already had an appointment for tlte rtert do:'. I told her to go today! Freda tuas hospitalized that day with a blood clot irt lter left arm. She has been in the hospital for six weeks nou,, rt,hile tltet, tried to dissolue the clot chemically. As I rurite she ruill prol:abh' go.for sltrgery, since dissolution has been unsuccessfttl. My prat,ers are u,itlt her for a successful surgery and a quick recouery, and I look fortL'ard to corttinuing our learning journey together.

I

.,1

tnl:

t2

WTNTER

r99r

THE FELDENI(RAIS JOURNAI NO. 6

The He is dashing, handsome, adventurous and rich. He is also anice familymanwithawife andthree sons. He is from "downunder", a NewZealander. "Dan" first came to see me on the recommendation of his shrink (who sends me people from time to time,) because she thought he was too tense and needed to learn to relax. He had migraines and he ground his teeth at night. He also had some backpain. At flrst he received the lessons poiitelr- and somewhat passively. He would go into a deep trance-1ike state from u.hicl-r he had difficulty awakening. Gradually, horvever, things began happening. He began noticing more and he rvas able to make distinctions and notice what he felt during a session. He participated more and his attitude changedfrom "O.K.I'mrvaitingforyou to do somethingto me," to " Oh, yes. Nor,r,, I feel u-hat' s happening. I' m b e gii-rnin g to get the

Tailcoat by Chloe Scott

messages."Bt,the time ive'd beenworking together about nro \-ears, he went offhis medications and finally stopped haring headaches. Hewentto a dentisnr.ho specializedinTMJ syndrome, andI also gar.e him a set of TNII tapes and the teeth grinding began to go arvar-. His backwas much better. Hewas excited bythe changes taking place and seemed committed to continuing indefinitely. One day, "Dan" drove up for his appointment, parked his Ferrari and got out carrying something on a coathanger. He came in and said " I want to showyou so mething". On the coat hanger was a very formal morning suit, tailcoat and pants, made forhim byhis tailor. He told me that he hadn't lvorn it for two years, but now in preparation for some fancy occasion coming up he had gotten it out to try it on. He put on the tail coat norv and said, "Nowlook at this. There is awhole Iot of extra material bunching out in back, between my shoulders. See? This coat was made expressly for me, and the last time I wore it it flt perfectly. For it to flt me now, I have to bend fonvard a little, and sort of slouch.Andthat's howl usedto be. NowI standup andit doesn'tfltme anymore!I shallhave to go backto mytailorandhave it refltted." He said he thought I'd like to see this "proof positive" that he had changed for the better. I was charmed that he had thought to shor,v it to me and I was pleasedwith the changes I saw. He appreciates this work and apparentlyhas told this "tail coat story" to lots of his friends.

l3

THE FELDENI(RAIS JOURNAI NO. 6

I1'If,*TER 1991

Iburette's S5rndrome; in the midst of a life. by Linda Delman

In March of r9B6 I began practicing the 'Art of Functional Integration' with a thirteen year old girl. Ann had an unusual neurologic disorder called Tourette's Syndrome. Tourette's is characterized by numerous tics, tremors, noises, curses, and an amazing amount of energy often accompanied by delightful humor. Her parents n ere alcoholic and are now divorced. Besides har..ing Tourette's, Ann was sexuallr- molested as a young child. She lir,ed u'ith her mother and older sister. After my initial phone call r,r,ith her mother, I began to hunt dor,r,n reference material on this unfamiliar disorder. I found Oliver Sachs and his rvonderful book, The Man Who llistook His Wife For A Hat and Other Clirtical Tales. One of the chapters was about ToLlrette's Syndrome. After reading his positive and hopeful words on the subject, my hesitations soon changed to excitement. Ann and I had an instant rapport. In the first lesson it was apparent that her attention span was very limited and that our work would have to be short and frequent. The family rvas quite poor so I agreed to see her twice a lr,eek for ten dollars, permitting Ann to get the rvork she needed and me to keep my hand in, so to speak, r'r,ithout losing track of our discoveries. During the first lesson, u,hich l set up as a detective game, she allon ed me to see her tics and tremors. I sar'"allou-ed" because she habitually covered up the symptoms n ith a series of other dysfunctional habits that she felt appeared more "norma1." -hn exiribited the following symptoms of Tourette's:

. Her right index flnger rvould lift itself from the rest of the hand and the entire right arnt lifted, bringing her hand to her mouth. . Her tongue simultaneoilslv protruded from her mouth to meet her hand. . Both of her eyes sqlleezed together quickly and frequently. (This tic r,r,,as her leasr controllable.) . Her right foot and leg fleu- up into the air, similar to a knee jerk response. .

She said non-sensical phrases amidst coherent thought.

All of these wildly dramatic mor-ements and the barrage of new attemprs to counteract the compulsions left her completely exhausted at the end of each day. These moments r,r,ere either fll1ed rvith sobbing or violent rage. The mother had reached her emotional limits, and was dealing with a neck injr-rn of her or,vn. I believed the mother's problem to be linked n ith the child's and chose to work with her indirectly, rather than using a direct hands-on approach. The detective game I improvised at the beginning was to shon us u-hether Ann knerv when the habits were about to begin. She said that she did knorv and that her hand began to get very hot. Her doctors had never asked her if she knerv an).thing about these habits, and had always assumed that therwere outside her control and completely involuntary. We slourll, began to trace each compulsion to some knoruablebeginning. Then rve began to plav

l4

!!.rNTER r99r

THE FELDENKRAIS IoURNAT No. 6

a game that allowed her to feel the beginning of the habit, stav udth the

impulse to do the habit, and then actuall-v begin the action. I inten ened at the last moment to change the pattern slightlr,. For instance, rvhen her right arm lifted towards the right side of her mouth, u,e r'r,ould bring her hand to the left side instead. Lo and behold, her tongue did not come out to greet itl We then proceeded to bring her right arm behind and around the left side of her head, for her hand to meet her mouth. I also used the back of her hand instead of her palm, and interchanged her flngers to trick her organization. This was all during our flrst half-hour lesson. I was thrilled with the progress and ready for more. In a following lesson I helped her to flnd more choice in the configurations she developed to cor-er up the tics and tremors. For example, when Ann sat in the classroom she urapped her entire right leg in a spiral around the other leg to stop the knee-jerk like tic from occurring. With the lesson set up as a fun puzzle, she learned ven'quickly to wrap the opposite leg around in many different lvavs. I sawAnn twice a rveek for a rnonth, and she seemed to be making incredible progress. Then sr-rddenlr- she began to regress. It soon became apparent that her mother u,as larger piece of the problem than I had realized. I invited her to the next session and proceeded to speak to her through her daughter. I had Ann lie on her back on the table and I sat by her head, gentlv holding it as I began my indirect speech to her mother. Every.thing I perceived in the mother-fears of her orrn illness, resentment towards Ann, guilt and blame through mv rr-ords to Ann. I told Ann how she no longer had anv -came reason to give to even'one else and u,ithhold from herself. I spoke of fear and love, constriction and expansion, and the courage to take action. T1-ris intuitive moment had a rnagical effect on the release of their co-dependent behaviors. The child accepted all I said and found something for herself that had personal value. The mother thought I was speaking to Ann so she listened without defense, \'et found herself in tears. Soon she arranged to have surgery and rid herself of vears of victimization and pain. The surgery was a complete success, allorving Ann to return to her own recovery process. My next step, n,hen the motheruvas in the hospital, was a home visit with Ann. It was so revealing to see her rooml The walls were bare and the entire room devoid of lirreliness. I n-ondered, where were the posters of Michael Iackson, and the other Bo's superstars. I then realized that she had such an abundance of stimulation internallr'that her system needed almost a monks atmosphere, a "safe" place. \.\hen asked r,vhat she'd like to do during this visit, she brought out paper and began drawing pictures of herself. She drew herself as a princess with all the storybook images; a diamond necklace, curly blonde hair (she had straight brown), a big smile lvith pearl-v teeth and of course a crown. I asked her to draw the next picture of herself u,ith her eyes closed. She responded enthusiastically and the idea seemed to free her from her own conception of how a picture "should" Iook. Naturally this portrait was completely different and appeared to be more intrinsic to her sensations. We put these pictures on her walls. She loved her work and rvas excited about doing more. Having a means of expression for the turmoil of internal stimulation was very quieting for her and she felt well. During the next cycle of lessons, we used the self portrait, closed eyes method exclusively as a map to her daily needs and process. She came into the office with her usual gusto and went right to the pen and paper. I began

l5

\\t\TER

THE FELDENI(RAIS JOURNAI NO. 6

1991

to see that the process of closing her eyes and going inside to dran' her portrait was the flrst anchor in our lesson. We would then do a lesson based on what the portrait told me, and what I felt about our interactions and her verbalized needs. After the lesson she would draw another picture. Almost always the "after" picture showed more connection of parts, rvhole pattern. or expressed the quality of the function we dealt with that dar.. For example, in one "before" drawing I noticed that neither hands nor leet \\,ere connected to her, and I decided to do the lesson based on this inlormation. I interlaced her fingers and toes together in many different rlavs. and through these configurations explored various directions of mor-er-nent. .{s rrith most people when confronted with this unusual situation, sire giggled and breathed easily and pleasurably. Then I disentangled her fingers and toe-s and verballv ied her through a series of flexion movements that engaged her fingers and toes, ankles and wrists, and whole foot and hand. \Ve then plar ed rrith different timings, pulses and rhythms. First she learned to do the mo\ ements n-hen I asked her to-in my timing. Next, she listened deeplr to her oun timing or internal rhythm. Finally there was the Iargest picture of connection: my sense of direction, her sense of seli and the bubble of communication that surpassed yet included us both. The lesson ended r,vith some paradoxical breathing based on her new-found timing. The "after" portrait showed the new definition in the hands and feet. There also seemed to be a more optimal level of organization throughor-rr. -\ sense of quiet satisfaction appeared in the "after" portrait compared to rhe more disjointed and unsettled "before" drawing. There was a ne\\- erpression on the face that included open, seeing eyes. And finally, I would sar- thar this " after" child had a sense of direction and the means to make better conracr

nith her world. After a summer apart, we resumed work, this time using her interesr ir.r gr-mnastics and sports. Another symptom of Tourette's seems to be an un common brilliance of timing in both physical and artistic endealors. -\r-rn never had symptoms when she was singing, dancing fast, sn'imming, or doing gymnastics quickly. We began to break down the componelrls oi:or-nersauits, cartwheels and hand stands. I spent my own -vouth in g1'n-inasrics training, so I felt comfortable in this fleld. She could do all tl-re actirities rr-eli il she pushed through the bumpy places. \.&4ren we slou,ed doru-i the action. it didn't r,vork. So we played the edge of breaking dor,r.n each piece successfullr'until the rvhole action was pleasing to her. One dar- she bolted iriro rhe

l6

r\,aNTER

r99r

THE FELDENKRAIS JOURNAI NO. 6

room with her usual excitement saying "Watch me, r,vatch me!" She proceeded to walk on her hands to the table, and slowly slide one leg at a time onto the table from a back bend, until she was sitting. She made the routine up herself to flt our r,vork. I rvas moved to tears! Never had I seen such effortless, quiet, beautiful movement. One last and important lesson that occurred in Ann's recovery was learning to be comfortable rvith herself and others, especially men, in a social setting. Initially her timing u,as based solely on her self-consciousness. She would bound into a room u.ith lightning speed, talking a blue streak, hlper and very distracted. I rvondered if she felt that if she moved fast enough, men could not see her. She was a very pretty girl and had been sexually abused earlv in iile. If she sarv a man in my office, she cowered nervously and couldn't ta1k, all the u,hi1e trying to cover her disorders. As she began to sense her ground, her power and ability to be self-alvare as compared to self-conscious, s}.re also deveioped the ability to sense other people and their timing. Torr ards the end of our work, I often found her in the staff are a having a cup of tea ancl some fun conversation with Russell and other men at r,rrork.

In the process of our r'r,ork, Ann blossomed into a beautiful young woman with the hopes and dreams of healthy future. Her syrnptoms all but disappeared and sl're dealt rr,ith the ghostly echoes rather than the full blor'r'n compulsior-rs. \\-e ftnished our work at the end of 1987 after rvorking cotlsistently in the spring and fali. Our times apart \Yere r-en- itlportant for her sense of indepencience and trust in her orvn abilities. I hadn't seen -\nn for a few years and called her mottt recetltlv for at-i update, in the interest of our work. I was upset to hear that her father, the man that had rnoiested her, had moved to the area and that -{rln had tttrned to drugs for help. The good news was that she had volunteered to go into a recovery prograrn and u,as doing well. I hope that this ne-''r'piece of her personal puzzle rrill fir-rd her stronger in the long run. It is so important in our r,vork with the human animal to celebrate the miracles, to trust our illnate intelligence, and most of all to honor the timing in everv relationsl-rip, There is my timing, your timing, and there is rhe timing. r/re tin-ring is an unknor'vn quantity that is larger than the sum of its parts. To this vast state \\'e must pay our deepest respects for it is this that allor,r,s our rr-ork to gro\\- o\rer a lifetime.

t7

THE FELDENKRIUS IOURNAL NO. 6

WTNTER

THE CHANCES I TAKE

This is a new way of anger for me, this is not a new age

I do not need to direct it it is directive and not consuming I consume it in some rratdigest it but do not need to eliminate it

it is not empowering but I am empower-ing liberate-ing me and a piece of the world by spreading the ground evenly beneath my feet

it is a part of life and death as much as everything else is and I am whole and holy...? holy and u,hole...?

with it without it this is an anger so complete that i do not feel angry

IB

I feel simply that I'm moving in a world of which this is by necessity a part like breathing is a necessary part

jump and run and fall and jump I

jump High and fall far I

I turn and turn and turn and dizzy fall again

I get up and jump and leap and fall and it is all simply me there is no word for the risks I take i take them because not to is a kind of death and I am ven'luclc to be ver1, much alii e so I take them to 1ir e and then to thrir e

r99t

THE FELDENKRAIS IOURNAI NO. 6

WINTER T99T

in this world rife and ripe with turmoil and possibilities at many crossroads and my olvn crossroads placingme bynecessity here right now I kick down more windmills every day and leap as if walking into real battles but without real malice and with only some revenge

this is a simple anger like my joy at a beautiful sunset this is a simple fear like my sweet melancholy at my lover's absence it passes and returns largely unpredictable and often to my delight I reflect these in each cell which is more than knowing that they are here

,

),\

l

I do them I am not them these are like Shekhina* (brucha-at Shekhina) the onlv irord I knoiv for life that encotnpasses and does not engulf, Iife that inhabits and does not overcome, life that reproduces itself in its onm facets

the same life that inspires passion and awe and still remains nestled in my mind's eye the same life that inspires passion and arve and still can simplv

allowme.

* Shekhina is a Hebrerv name for

the aspect of God that manifests God's self in the '"vorld. rggo Ianet Tobacman

l9

THE FELDENKRAIS IOURNAL NO. 6

A Non-Specific

from

\\-TNTER 1991

lFeatment

Making New Patterns (an unpublishe d manuscript) INTRODUCTIO\ BY \I-{RK by N4oshe Feldenkrais

edited b). Mark Reese

REESE

I edited as Ttart o.f a tould-be book cslled, Making New patterns. follouing In tg9o I spent tuio tllontlts in Tel--1t il tuith )Ioslte irt tlte sprirtg. Mornings I watched him work. Then at lurtclttime, he gat,e nte the ket's to ltis a1:artrttent so tlmt I could e(lit his lectures into a book. AII afternoott I stat,ed anrortg ltis books artd trat$cripts, ond batteries and gadgets that he hetd brought tt,itlt hint front Lortdon tltir^ \'ears earlier. I u,as often still at work when he came lrcme at 8:oo or io:oo itt tlte et,ertirtg. ll ith nt\ notebook attd taTse recorder I worked tty way througlt tltousartds of pages of rerbatirn trartscnpts frorrt lti.s tg75 pro.fessiorml training sutnmer cou:e itt Satt Frartcisco. Dttrirtg our course lte ltad lea-red rr-. b.r'srr-r'irig, "lf ortlt,one oftouwould u'rite dou,tt tlte higltligltts.front tltese lecntres. it tL ortld ntake a rrtan,elous book." Fiue ),ears a.fter Irearirtg that rerttark, I u as tr,'irtg to l)ing it to.fluitiotl. I cltose tlte title fr.om a lecture u,ltere he lnd rttairttaitted rltat it u,as lar ea-sier, attd ntore ytroductit,e, to ntake a netr pattent, tlnn to try attd clnttge nrt old orte. -1fter renntirtg ltonre to Sart Diego I spent set,eral rnore montlts on tlte 1:roject. He u'as ren, pleased u'ith the final product: a one-hwtdred ytage manuscript itttended to interest a publislter in the urork. Moshe's agent ruas unable to find a ptublisher, lloshe becante disgruntled utith the project, and the worklay dorntant in nry files since ryBt Tlte suntnter of ry75, from which the following story was taken, utas firll of wonders. Most of us saut Moshe do Functional Integration for the first time, and we witnessed him performing one arnazing demonstration after another. We listened to lectures on euery imaginable (and tmimaginable) topic and, uruler Moshe's leadershilt, Luent on incredible Awareness through Mouement and Functional Integration uoyages into uncharted reahns. Asyou might guess, the The

case stud1,

seas uere ojten stormy.

All sttmmer Moshe had been challenged by a uocal few to clarify Functional Integration and to giue us the "specifics." Moshe cottntered that people were lookingfor "cause and effect', types af explanations that ruere inappropriate to our uork and, for that matter, had little relettance to nature. As far as "specifics" were concented, the essence of Furtctional Integration lay in its globa| systefils outlook; an1, "specific" approach would rob Functional Integration ofits pollrer and distort its nteaning. Moshe ruas a great sltott,nran, and he neuer neglected the opportunity for dramatic finales last days of sltnlner colu'ses always presented. On this last day in AugLtst, Moshe presented a detailed case study for the first time in our training. He chose his case carefully. He called it an etantltle of "nort-specific" treatment, and his intent was clear: to once and for all, place Ftutctiornl Irttegratiotr in its proper context. There is no question of "technique', here. There is tto "irttegratiort" of body, mind or emotions, sirtce no separation is assum.ed. T|tis ructs one of Moshe's early cases from the ry5o's. It may present a side of Moshe, and of his ruork, tlmt will be new to some of you. You can be sure, howeuer, that altltough it ma1, appear a4'pical, for Moshe it represented the essence of his work.

tlnt

A NON.SPECIFIC TREATMENT

There $.as a boy who at the a€le of 14 was wetting the bed like most ol tl-re children at the kibbutz. That's one of the drawbacks of the kibburz. \lanr children wet their beds until very late. Many girls wet their beds after ther begin menstruating, and even later. Enuresis happens there nrore olten rhan in other populations. There are manyAmerican psychiatrists, philosopi-rers. neurologists who went there just to flnd out why and hou.. The boy had a Rorschach test because he was backn ard ir-i school and \,, ei his bed. But at the age of 7, that little chap could drir,e a tractor in the freld br

20

WTNTER

r99r

himself. Not only that, at the garage lr,here they do repairs, he could point out things that were wrong that the "normal" people there couldn't. Thev tested the little boy and came up with a dreadful sort of conclusion. The1, repeated the test rvith another tester and then they told the father, "Look, tve have a very poor prognosis lor your little boy. He will be homicidal r,r,hen he grows up. He must be looked after and treated here." They got an anah'st who analyzed the bor., and the more they analyzed, the more he pissed. The funny thing is that rvhen one met the boy he was only a sad boy, but very human, readv to help, to do anl,thing you asked him to do, and so friendly that even'one liked him. And he was a nice looking boy. But you could see that he \\-as preoccupied with something all the time. They put him in a place for retarded children. He was there two years, and when he left he was more backu-ard than before. One day a frier-rd told the boy's parents, "Look lr,'ould you stop killing your boy! You have conpromised his life already rvith all of this bloody nonsense thatyou're doing. \Ioshe is here, bringhimto Moshe." They said ther-must ask the doctor in the kibbutz. The doctor in the kibbutz said, "\\rl-rat is \loshe?" He said he wouldn't advise an\thing irregular like that. Nevertheless, the parents agreed that I would talk to the bor-, and the bov was brought to me. \ou-, r'ou know how speciflc I am in treatment. Thev thought that I u-ould immediately flnd a way to stop him peeing. I said ti-rat I could do it easilr-. "Just give me some strong silk thread and I rvill tie r-Lp his penis and dar-n him. He rvill burst. He will die but he won't pee an\-more. That's as radical a treatment as vou can do." Then the parents asked me what I lvould do u'ith hirl. I asked the bor , '\\l-ranr-ould you like to do?" He said, "I don't knorr-." I said, "lsn't there an\-thing? Do you like football?" Oh, football, not interested. Nou-, can r ou imagine aboy t2,14 years old who is not interested in playing football? \\-l-rere all the other children play football? "\Vhat are vou interested in? Do r-or.r like leading?" He had never read a book in iris life. He wasn't interested. "lVhat would r.'or-r like to do nolv?" "Oh, I would like to drir-e a car." "Drive a car?" I had a neu- Triumph that I had brought or.er from England. I told the boy, "Let's go har-e a drive." I asked him, "Can you drive?" He said, "I can drive a tractor, but I've never driven a car. I am too young. They won't let me. " It s i1legal, by the r,vay, for a minor to drive a car in Israel, too. If a policeman sees it, t'our license is taken alvay. I told him that it u'as a brand-new car. I asked him, "Would you like to drive?" He looked at me and didn't believe his olvn ears. So I told him, "Now sit there." I started to tell him',r,hat lvas what. He said, "I kno\r,." He kneu. er,erything about the car. He knew about the clutch and different speeds and er,erything. I told him all the other details, such as how to start it. \Ve stopped at the side of a very large road outside Tel Aviv. I made him go through all the maneuvers of using the car. He did it better than I, with the same ease of a child who knows what he is doing and is usually more sure-handed than a grown-up. \.&/hen I said, "We11, start the car, " he shrunk. He didn't dare do it. I turned the ignition and told him to release the brake and drive.

THE FELDENKRATs

IounNlr x6.

),\

.lt

2t

THE FELDENKRAIS IOURNAI, NO. 6

\\l\

rER 199i

He said, "But if a policeman sees me?" I said, "Lift vourself." He said, "He rvill tell by my face." I said, "Well, rve'll r,t orry about that afterwards. Drir-e. " He started drir.ing hesitantly and I said, "Drive slorvlr- because .- -, -: i, ,:-r t drive slorvlt', u,e'll both be killed." So he drove very slon'lv and rht: . .:r.,r second gear. After about five minutes he drove the car smarth', e;.. -. -;cause he had had the experience of previously driving tractors, We dror,e a fer,v kilometers and I told him, "Look, I am tired. \-olr rc:-l -l I'm going to have a snooze," and I closed my eyes. The respot-tsib1].:. -: :r,-: having somebody observing him driving, and the fact that I relieo i-,r, :-,:'rvel1, n.hen we arrived in Batonia and turned back to tolvn, t-ot-t rr or,rli:, . .,:'. . recognized the boy. He had grown three inches taller, and his lace '],"'a: ! handsome, his eyes so bright, and he had forgotten most of his troun-.. - r'-.-l r-right he didn't wet the bed. At that time I was the director of the Israeli army's electronics depair: .:-. u,hich I formed. I lived in Kevon and I was busy all day, and couid onh ;..;r-: to him after I flnished work and came home. I told the father, "If r ou '\\.-rt. :1. to treat the child, stop mucking about. Send to hell the doctors, r-our-se1i .,::; your wife. Bring me that boy, and leave him alone with me." And ther dic The lirst day I got the boy I said, "Look, this is your room. You iir-e ruth people. You cannot wet the bed here because that would cause trouble a:i you would be blamed. I don't to talk to vou about peeing. It's not mt inlete. it's your business. Tell your father to bring a plastic sheet. \.&4ren vott pee in the bed you will collect the plastic sheet and the bed will be left dn'. Do rurn it whatever you like. You u,il1 u.ash \-our clothes yourself. \ /hether voll pee rr not, never talk to onlr[sci1: about it. \lake yourself inconspicuous so nobodr will ever knorn", r,r,.hether \-oll pee. You harre all the means now to make it a private business of r-ours, and from no\v on it's your private business. \er er talk to me about it, ner-er talk to anvbody about it. "l'm not interested in r-our past. \Ve're going to learn how to live so thai You're not in a bacl