The Common Touch : Popular Literature from the Elizabethans to the Restoration, Volume I [1 ed.] 9781443865746, 9781443860215

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The Common Touch

The Common Touch Popular Literature from the Elizabethans to the Restoration Volume I

Edited by

Paul A. Scanlon and Adrian Roscoe

The Common Touch: Popular Literature from the Elizabethans to the Restoration, Volume I Edited by Paul A. Scanlon and Adrian Roscoe This book first published 2014 Cambridge Scholars Publishing 12 Back Chapman Street, Newcastle upon Tyne, NE6 2XX, UK British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library Copyright © 2014 by Paul A. Scanlon and Adrian Roscoe All rights for this book reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the copyright owner. ISBN (10): 1-4438-6021-2, ISBN (13): 978-1-4438-6021-5

TABLE OF CONTENTS List of Illustrations ................................................................................... viii Acknowledgements .................................................................................... ix Introduction ................................................................................................. x Broadside Ballads ........................................................................................ 1 Against Filthy Writing, and Such Like Delighting The Cucking of a Scould The Great Boobee A Briefe Sonet Declaring the Lamentation of Beckles A Caveat for Cut-purses A Light Hearts a Iewell A Ditty Delightfull of Mother Watkins Ale A He-Deuil A Pleasant Countrey New Ditty: Merrily Shewing How to Driue the Cold Winter Away Gestes of Robin Hood and Other Outlaws................................................. 37 Robin Hood and Little John Robin Hood and the Friar and Robin Hood and the Potter From Adam Bell, Clim of the Clough, and William of Cloudesly Religious Dissension and Superstition ...................................................... 67 The True Description of Two Monsterous Children A True and Most Dreadfull Discourse of a Woman Possessed with the Deuill Tychbornes Elegie A Letter Written by Chidiock Tichborne to His Wife, the Night Before He Suffered Hendecasyllabon T. K. in Cygneam Cantionem Chidiochi Tychborne The Apprehension and Confession of Three Notorious Witches Witchcraft Act of 1604 A New-Yeeres-Gift for the Pope The Tragedy of Doctor Lambe

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Table of Contents

Crime, Criminals and the London Underworld ......................................... 98 A True Discourse of a Cruel and Inhumaine Murder, Committed vpon M. Padge of Plymouth From Robert Greene, The Blacke Bookes Messenger Thomas Middleton (?), The Last Will and Testament of Lawrence Lucifer Richard Johnson, Looke on Me London Social Drama ........................................................................................... 141 A Most Pleasant Comedy of Mucedorus Chapbook Narratives ............................................................................... 192 Tom Thumbe, His Life and Death From The Life of Long Meg of Westminster The Witch of the Woodlands Jest-Books ............................................................................................... 242 Selections from Merie Tales of the Mad Men of Gotam Scoggins Iests The Sack-Full of Newes Tarltons Iests Merrie Conceited Iests, of George Peele Pasqvils Iestes, Mixed with Mother Bunches Merriments The Pleasant Conceites of Old Hobson the Merry Londoner Wit and Mirth Conceits, Clinches, Flashes, and Whimzies Cavalier and Roundhead.......................................................................... 287 The Zealous Puritan Upon Mr. Pyms Picture The Character of a Roundhead From The Diurnal Occvrrances, 3-10 January, 1642 From A Perfect Diurnall of the Passages in Parliament, 21-28 February, 1641[2] From A Diurnall Out of the North, 10-16 July, 1642 From A Perfect Diurnall of the Passages in Parliament, 29 August-5 September, 1642 From The London City Petition 1643 The Humble Petition of the House of Commons Vive Le Roy

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Short and Sweet From Mercurius Britanicus, 28 December-4 January, 1643[4] From Mercvrivs Avlicvs, [7-13 January, 1644] A Song When the King Enjoys His Own Again The Scots Arrears The Independents Resolve A Song in Defence of Christmass From The Great Leveller Petition of 11 September 1648 From Perfect Occurrences of Every Daie Iournall, 29 December-5 January, 1648[9] From King Charls His Speech Made upon the Scaffold at Whitehall-Gate From The Man in the Moon, 27 June-4 July, 1649 From The Man in the Moon, 16-23 January, 1650 From The Ranters Ranting From Mercurius Politicus, 29 May-5 June, 1651 Upon the General Pardon Passed by the Rump Oliver Cromwell’s Speech Dissolving the Rump of the Long Parliament From Mercurius Politicus, 22 February-1 March, 1654[5] From The Weekly Intelligencer of the Common-Wealth, 21-28 August, [1655] Cromwell’s Coronation The Cameronian Cat From Mercurius Politicus, 9-16 June, 1659 A Letter from Generall Monck, November the 12th [1659] On the Kings Returne Drolls ....................................................................................................... 346 The Doctors of Dull-Head Colledge The Humour of Simple King Ahasuerus and Queen Esther The Humours of Simpkin. A Continued Farce Venus and Adonis, or, The Maid’s Philosophy The Humour of Hobbinal Diphilo and Granida The Encounter Bibliography ............................................................................................ 390 Title Index ............................................................................................... 408 First-Line Index ....................................................................................... 410

LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS

Introductory pages Title-page from “A Caveat for Cut-purses” Title-page from the Merie Tales of the Mad Men of Gotam Woodcut from the title-page of The Apprehension and Confession of Three Notorious Witches Title-page from The Witch of the Woodlands Final pages Woodcut from the title-page of “A Light Hearts a Iewell” Woodcut from the title-page of “The Tragedy of Doctor Lambe” Final pages of Tom Thumbe, His Life and Death Woodcut from title-page of The Ranters Ranting Title-page from Tarltons Jests Title-page from Sundrye Strange and Inhumaine Murthers, Lately Committed Title-page from “A New-Yeeres-Gift for the Pope” Frontispiece and title-page from The Wits, or, Sport upon Sport (1662)

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

We are deeply grateful to a number of people for their help and support in producing this work, begun when both of us were colleagues at Oman’s Sultan Qaboos University. Paul’s wife Marit has overseen every step of it, unfailing over the years in her encouragement and advice, while for her part Adrian’s wife Janice has shown admirable levels of patience. Andrew Littlejohn has also given generously of his time, as has Eugene Benson, the former offering assistance technical and structural in nature, the latter literary and historical. Thanks are also owing to Amanda Millar of CSP and to Kenée Knight, both of whom were involved in the final stages of preparation. And lastly, while much of the source material was researched at Canada’s Queen’s and Guelph university libraries, Andrew’s son David provided valuable archival information from Columbia University, New York.

INTRODUCTION

This two-volume anthology of English popular literature is not meant to replace existing texts that cover writing from the same periods. It can, instead, be read alongside them because it offers work hitherto neither collected nor studied in university courses. It shows that, while established figures caught the attention of the more educated classes, a new largely urban reading public was growing among England’s less privileged people who were unfamiliar with the writings of Spenser, Jonson, Milton or Pope. It is also a reminder that the class of people who had created the ballad tradition did not simply disappear with the rise of literacy and printing any more than those who had created medieval drama. It seems clear that if modern scholarship is to provide a complete picture of literary activity during these years (from the beginning of the Elizabethan Age to the middle of the eighteenth century), then a substantial body of writing— formerly the concern mainly of antiquarians and specialist scholars— needs exposure and attention. Certainly, after immersion in literary domains both popular and laurelled, students as well as the general reader can only emerge better informed than they are at present. Selection for curriculum and textbooks has long been shaped and approved by generally accepted critical criteria. But critical criteria, like hemlines in dress or fads in diet, are sometimes fickle and prone to change. Romanticism generally dismissed the certainties of Pope and Dryden, and who among Donne’s contemporaries in the seventeenth century would have tipped him for acclaim in the twentieth? Inclusion, as Ruskin reminds us, involves exclusion, hence the fact that a great deal of writing during these times has failed to be accepted into the literary canon. Sidney, Wyatt, Surrey, Pope, Dryden and Milton have succeeded but not the broadside ballads. Shakespeare, Marlowe and Jonson are favoured, but not the Robin Hood playlets or even— extraordinarily—the comedy of Mucedorus, an all-time runaway hit unmatched until Agatha Christie’s The Mousetrap in modern times. Political and social change, literacy, education (or lack of it), religion and morality, the economic climate and international exchange—these all impinge on taste and fashion. As The Common Touch shows, societies becoming literate and prosperous and keen to create new grammars of life

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and governance might well find their literary sensibilities changing as they move from oral modes to a variety of written forms. A further point is that our own age’s zeitgeist is markedly democratic in spirit. A desire to reflect the lives and culture of all social levels (though long ago seen in Wordsworth and Coleridge, for example) has become insistent. From this perspective, then, the literature we currently teach from the Elizabethans to the Augustans seems seriously unrepresentative, especially when modern technology and scholarship are helping us to reveal the astonishing range of their literary output—not just from the universities and court circles but from the urban and rural masses expressing themselves at weddings, worship and funerals, in farm and field and tavern. While religious militants passionately fought their denominational corners, ordinary folk were thronging to watch burnings and hangings or wanting news of witch trials and notorious murders—in a word, all the human interest material that would eventually comprise the content of journals and newspapers. Experience also shows that our contemporary reader of English literature, largely unacquainted with Latin and Greek (in another manifestation of shifting taste), finds much of the periods’ major writings, whether the satires of Pope and Dryden or the epics of Milton, difficult of access. In these circumstances, the sheer diversity and grass roots nature of work collected here should provide a welcome relief as well as useful instruction. Thus The Common Touch seeks to fill out a picture hitherto incomplete. Among other types of popular literature, various ballads such as “The Great Boobee,” “A Caveat for Cut-purses” and “The Cucking of a Scould” are included. Robin Hood’s exploits are also offered, as well as the folk comedy Mucedorus and selections from the Newgate chronicles. There is much fun and joking in Coffee-House Jests and high adventure can be found in the tales of American buccaneers. The editors trust, then, that this anthology, with its concise sectional introductions, copious footnotes and extensive bibliography, will open new vistas on an era of history already celebrated for its legendary outpouring of more illustrious forms of literature. While attempting, as far as possible, to preserve textual authenticity, reader accessibility has been taken into account. Hence capitalization and italicization have been normalized, along with the letters “u” and “v.” A number of minor alterations have also been silently made. All else remains virtually as it was in the original texts. Paul A. Scanlon and Adrian Roscoe

Title-page from “A Caveat for Cut-purses”

Title-page from the Merie Tales of the Mad Men of Gotam

Woodcut from the title-page of The Apprehension and Confession of Three Notorious Witches

Title-page from The Witch of the Woodlands

BROADSIDE BALLADS

The broadside ballad—a short, rhymed narrative, usually set to a familiar tuneʊwas one of the most popular types of printed literature in England from the end of the Middle Ages until the late seventeenth century. It has been estimated that more than 4,000 were published during the Elizabethan period alone. Although the names of some of the writers are known (probably the most famous being Martin Parker), the vast majority were composed by anonymous hacks, working for various London print-shops, situated around St. Paul’s Churchyard, Bridewell and Fleet Street. Since the early thirteenth century, the Crown had issued proclamations on matters of public importance, posting them on walls and doors in places of popular assembly. This practice became well-established for other sorts of notices over the following centuries, with commercial publishers later adopting the same format for ballads—a single twelve-by-nine-inch folio page, commonly known as a broadsheet or broadside. As well as the text itself, each one generally included a title, a sub-title, the name of the tune and several woodcut illustrations. They were then sold up and down the country by itinerant pedlars (called ballad-mongers) or on street corners by noisy hawkers. Bought for about a penny, they were sung by groups in alehouses and homes or by individuals as they worked in the fields or performed at fairs—that is, broadside ballads were sung by almost anyone and could be found just about everywhere. These widely-affordable song-sheets captured all the extraordinary events of contemporary life, what we would now call news: wars, crimes, natural disasters and supernatural occurrences, lovers’ laments and marital rivalry, religious and political strife—the author seldom failing to accompany them with a dire warning or stern moral advice. One can imagine the enthusiasm with which they were received, whether in the market-place or by the family hearth. But no matter how popular they were or whatever the subject, each inevitably fell from favour, to be eventually discarded and, in most cases, lost forever. Their heyday was clearly the first part of the seventeenth century, after which corantos, newsbooks and similar literary fare began replacing them as purveyors of current affairs. And by the end of the century, with the appearance of the prose periodical, the days of broadside ballads for such purposes were definitely numbered.

2

Broadside Ballads

While some of the more educated members of society apparently took great pleasure in this genre, others (at least before friends or perhaps those of a more pious cast) dismissed them as pieces of “riffe raffe.” It was only around the middle years of the century, partly in an attempt to preserve the old black-letter Gothic style print, that they were given more serious attention, mainly by antiquarians such as Samuel Pepys and Robert Harley, 1st Earl of Oxford and Mortimer. Pepys collected more than 1,800 ballads, cut and bound into five scrapbooks, which now reside in The Pepys Library at Magdalene College, Cambridge, while the Roxburghe Collection, as Harley’s became known, of some 1,500 ballads, is part of the British Library. Much of the later work in this tradition, including Percy’s Reliques of Ancient English Poetry (1765) and Child’s The English and Scottish Popular Ballads (1882-1898), is unquestionably indebted to these and other such collections of the Restoration Age.

Against Filthy Writing, and Such Like Delighting1 What meane the rimes that run thus large in every shop to sell? With wanton sound, and filthie sense, me thinke it grees2 not well. We are not ethnickes,3 we forsoth,4 at least professe not so Why range we then to ethnickes trade? Come bak, where wil ye goe? Tel me is Christ, or Cupide Lord? Doth God or Venus reigne? And whose are wee? Whom ought wee serve? I aske it, answere plaine If wanton Venus, then go forth, if Cupide, keep your trade If God, or Christ, come bak the best, or sure you will be made Doth God? Is he the Lord in deed? And should we him obey? Then his commaundement ought to guide, all that wee doo or say But shew me his commaundement then, thou filthy writer thou Let seet,5 I cease, if not, geve place, or shameles shew thee now.

1

Probably published in 1562. Thomas Brice (1536-1571), a Church of England clergyman and poet, is best known as the author of A Compendious Regester in Metre, Conteinyng the Names, and Pacient Suffrynges of the Members of Iesus Christ. Several other books, entered in the Stationers’ Register and most likely of a pious nature, are attributed to him, including The Couurte of Venus Moralized. But nothing further is known of them. 2 Pleases. 3 Heathens. 4 In truth (forsooth). 5 Let’s see it.

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We are not foes to musicke wee, a mis6 your man7 doth take us So frendes to thinges corrupt and vile, you all shall never make us If you denie them such to bee, I stand to prove it I, If you confesse (defend them not) why then doo you reply? But such they bee I will mainteine, which yet you bothe defend And iudge them fooles, that them mislike; would God you might amend But, substance onely I regarde, let accidencis8 go Both you and wee, bee that wee bee, I therfore leave it so And yet I wishe your tearmes in deed, upon some reason stayd If mine be not, reprove them right,9 Ile blot that I have sayd And that I wrote, or now doo wrighte, against you as may seeme What cause I had, and have, I yelde, to modest men to deeme10 I wishe you well I doo protest, (as God will, I will so) I cannot helpe, as frend ye wot,11 nor will not hurt as so But for the vile corrupting rimes, which you confesse12 to wrighte My soule and hart abhorres their sence, as far from my delight And those that use them for their glee,13 as you doo vaunte ye will I tell you plainly what I think, I iudge thee to bee ill This boasting late in part hath causd, mee now to say my minde Though chalenges of yours also, in every place I finde. Thomas Brice. Imprinted at London by Iohn Alde for Edmond Halley and are to be solde in Lumbard strete at the signe of the Egle.

6

Amiss. Without giving names, the poet is apparently rebuking some ballad-maker and his supporter. 8 Accidentals, non-essential elements. 9 Prove them wrong. 10 Judge. 11 Know. 12 Admit. 13 Entertainment. 7

4

Broadside Ballads

The Cucking of a Scould14 To the tune of, The Merchant of Emden. A wedded wife there was, I wis° of yeeres but yong, But if you thinke she wanted wit,° Ile sweare she lackt no tongue. Just seventeene yeeres of age, This woman was no more, Yet she would scold with any one, From twenty to threescore. The cucking of a scold, The cucking of a scold, Which if you will but stay to heare The cucking of a scold. As nimble as an eele, This womans tongue did wag, And faster you shall have it runne, Then any ambling nag. But without mighty wrong, She would not shew her skill. But if that she were moved once° The sport was not so ill. The cucking, &c.

know intelligence, sense

once provoked

Each man might quickl[y] know, When as the game begun But none could tell you for his life, What time she would have done. She was a famous scould, A dainty° scould in graine,° worthy, excellent / by nature, out-and-out A stouter scould was never bred

14

Although the first printing of this anonymous ballad is thought to be about 1630, it may well have appeared much earlier than this. The tune is from one of Thomas Deloney’s ballads, dated 1594, commonly known as The Merchantman. After due process of law, elaborate ceremonies such as the one presented here, concluding with the ducking of a scold, were not uncommon. “To cuck” is to punish by immersing someone in water while confined in a cucking-stool.

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Nor borne in Turne-gaine Lane.15 The cucking, &c. Upon a time it chanc’d, And she did thus alledge,° A neighbours maid had taken halfe Her dish-clout° from the hedge: For which great trespasse done, This wrong for to requite, She scolded very hansomely, Two daies and one whole night. The cucking, &c. Which something did molest° The neighbours round about: But this was nothing to the fits That she would thunder out. But once, the truth to tell, Worse scolding did she keepe, For waking of her little dog, That in the sun did sleepe. The cucking, &c.

claim dish-cloth

annoy

Six winter dayes together, From morning eight a clocke, Untill the evening that each one Their doores began to lock: She scolded for this wrong, Which she accounted great, And unto peace and quietnesse No man could her intreat. The cucking, &c. So that this little devill, With her unquiet tongue, Continually both far and neere, Molested old and yong. But yet soone after this, 15

Turne-gaine (or Turnagain) Lane, a cul-de-sac near Billingsgate fish market, was famous at the time for its boisterous and colourful street-traders, especially fishwives.

6

Broadside Ballads

She made a greater brawle,° Against the constable, that did But pisse against her wall. The cucking, &c. She cal’d him beastly knave, And filthy jacke° for this, And said that every cuckold now Against her wall must pisse: And in most raging sort, She rail’d at him so long. He made a vow he would revenge This most outragious wrong. The cucking, &c. And first of all behold, He clapt her in the cage, Thinking thereby her devillish tongue, He would full well asswage. But now worse then before, She did to brawling fall. The constable and all the rest She vildly° did miscall. The cucking, &c. Thus night and day she sent Such brawling from her brest, That ner’a neighbour in the towne Could take one houres rest. Which when the justice knew, This judgement than° gave he, That she upon a cucking stoole Should iustly punisht be. The cucking, &c. Upon three market dayes, This penance she should bide, And every thing fit for the same, The officers did provide: An hundred archers good, Did first before her goe,

a noisy quarrel

low-bred, ill-mannered fellow

vilely

then (often used interchangeably)

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A hundred and five nimble shot Went next unto the roe.° The cucking, &c.

7

in a row

An hundred armed men Did also follow there: The which did guard the gallant scould With piercing pikes and spears: And trumpets sounding sweete In order with them comes A company most orderly, With pleasant phifes and drums. The cucking, &c. And forty parrats then, On sundry pearches hie,° Were carried eke° before the scould, Most fine and orderly: And last of all a mighty wispe° Was borne before her face. The perfect tokens of a scould Well knowne in every place. The cucking, &c. Then was the scould her selfe, In a wheele-barrow brought, Stripped naked to the smocke, As in that case she ought: Neats tongues° about her necke Were hung in open show; And thus unto the cucking stoole This famous scould did goe. The cucking, &c. Then fast within the chaire She was most finely bound, Which made her scold excessively, And said she should be drown’d. But every time that she Was in the water dipt, The drums & trumpets sounded brave,°

high also sign

Ox-tongues

splendidly

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8

For ioy the people skipt. The cucking, &c. Six times when she was duckt Within the water cleare, That like unto a drowned rat, She did in sight appeare. The iustice thinking then To send her straight away, The constable she called knave, And knav’d him all the day. The cucking, &c. Upon which words, I wot,° They duckt her straight againe A dozen times ore head and eares: Yet she would not refraine, But still revil’d them all. Then to’t againe they goe, Till she at last held up her hands, Saying, Ile no more doe so. The cucking, &c. Then was she brought away, And after for her life,° She never durst begin to scould With either man or wife. And if that every scould Might have so good a diet,° Then should their neighbours every day Be sure to live in quiet, The cucking of a scould, The cucking of a scould Which if you will but stay to heare The cucking of a scould.

know

for the rest of her life

punishment

Printed at London by G. P.16

16 Perhaps either George Potter or George Purslowe, who printed during the years 1599-1616 and 1614-1632 respectively.

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The Great Boobee17 To a pleasant new tune; or, Salengers Round. My friends if you will understand my fortunes what they are I once had cattel, house and land, but now am never the near,° My father left a good estate as I may tell to thee, I couzened° was of all I had like a great Boobee.

have lost everything

cheated

I went to school with a good intent, and for to learn my book, And all the day I went to play, in it I never did look, Full seven years, or very nigh, as I may tell to thee, I could hardly say my Christ-cross-row18 like a great Boobee. My father then in all the haste, did set me to the plow, And for to lash the horse about, indeed I knew not how; My father took his whip in his hand, and soundly lashed me He call’d me fool and country clown and great Boobee.

17

Undated and of unknown authorship, this popular ballad was probably written before the English Civil War (though possibly published during or after it) because the Long Parliament, at that time, suppressed the Bear Garden and other forms of public entertainment. During the Elizabethan Age and afterwards the countryman in London was a common object of derision in both prose and verse. One of the two woodcuts depicts a traveller with a walking stick being approached by a gallant in white ruffles and collar, wearing a sword. 18 The alphabet, arranged in the form of a Latin cross, contained in a “horn-book.”

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Broadside Ballads

But I did from my vather19 run, for I will plow no more, Because he hath so slashed me, and made my side so sore: But I will go to London town, zome vashions for to see When I came there they call’d me clown and great Boobee. But as I went along the street, I carried my hat in my hand, And to every one that I did meet, I bravely bust° my hand; Some did laugh, and some did scoff, and some did mock at me, And some did say I was a woodcock,° and a great Boobee. Then did I walk in haste to Pauls,° the steeple for to view Because I heard some people say, it should be builded new,20 Then I got up unto the top, the city for to see, It was so high it made me cry like a great Boobee. From thence I went to Westminst[er,]° and for to see the tombs,21 Oh, said I, what a house is here with an infinite sight° of rooms? Sweetly the Abby-bells did ring it was a fine zight to see,

19

kissed

fool, simpleton

St. Paul’s Cathedral

Westminster Abbey

number

Father. Dialectal and viewed as characteristic of a countryman from, say, Somerset or Dorset. See also such words below as “zome” and “vashions.” 20 The steeple of St. Paul’s was struck by lightning in 1561 and largely destroyed. 21 Since the Middle Ages, many of England’s aristocracy were buried inside chapels of Westminster Abbey, while monks and prominent lay figures were interred in the cloisters and other areas.

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Me thoughts I was going to heaven in a string22 like a great Boobee. The second part, to the same tune. But as I went along the street, the most part of the day Many gallants° did I meet men (in this case) of fashion and pleasure methoughts they were very gay, I blew my nose, and pist my hose° stockings some people did me see, They said I was a beastly fool, and a great Boobee. Next day I through Pie-corner23 past, the roast-meat on the stall Invited me to take a taste my money was but small, The meat I pickt, the cook me kickt as I may tell to thee He beat me zore, and made me rore like a great Boobee. As I through Smithfield24 lately walkt a gallant lass I met Familiarly with me she talkt which I cannot forget, She proffered me a pint of wine me thought she was wondrous free, To the tavern then I went with her like a great Boobee. She told me we were near of kin, and call’d for wine good store,° Before the reckoning° was brought in, 22

of good quality bill

That is, wafted by the music of the bells. For a somewhat similar account, see below, p. 254. 23 At the corner of Giltspur Street and Cock Lane in Smithfield, Pye Corner was considered one of London’s most disreputable locations. 24 One of the oldest markets in London and a favourite place for pubic gatherings of all social levels.

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Broadside Ballads

my cousin prov’d a whore My purse she pickt, and went away my cousin cozened me The vintner kickt me out of door like a great Boobee. At the Exchange25 when I came there, I saw most gallant things I thought the pictures living26 were of all our English kings, I doft my hat, and made a leg° and kneeled on my knee The people laught, and call’d me fool, and great Boobee. To Paris Garden27 then I went, where there was great resort, My pleasure was my punishment, I did not like the sport. The Garden bull with his stout horns on high then tossed me; I did bewray myself with fear° like a great Boobee. The bear-heard° went to save me then, the people flockt about, I told all the bear-garden men, my guts were almost out, They said I stunk most grievously no man would pitty me, They call’d me witless fool and ass, and great Boobee. 25

deep bow

betrayed my fear

bear-herder

Founded in 1665, the Royal Exchange was not only one of the earliest stock exchanges in Europe, but contained many fine shops and merchants’ establishments. 26 That is, portraits of prominent figures displayed there, particularly of those associated with the Exchange. 27 Located at Southwark, across the River Thames, Paris Garden was the most popular bear-garden of the Elizabethan Age. The Queen herself was very fond of this entertainment and overruled Parliament when it attempted to ban the sport on Sundays. Other animals, particularly bulls (as here), were also baited by welltrained hunting dogs.

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Then ore the water did I pass as you shall understand, I dropt into the Thames alasse before I came to land, The water-man° did help me out, and thus did say to me, Tis not thy fortune to be drown’d thou great Boobee. But I have learned so much wit° shall shorten all my cares, If I can but a license get to play before the bears, Twill be a gallant place indeed, as I may tell to thee, Then who dares call me fool or ass, or great Boobee.

boatman

wisdom, understanding

FINIS. London, printed for R.I. Entred according to o[r]der.28

A Briefe Sonet Declaring the Lamentation of Beckles29 To the tune of Labandalashotte.30 My loving good neighbours, that comes to beholde, Me sillie31 poore Beckles, in cares manyfolde, In sorrow all drowned, which floated of late, 28

There is a further seventeenth-century edition similar in character, printed “for F. Coles, in VVine-street, on Safforn-hill [sic], near Hatton-Garden.” Although its publication date has been variously placed, it is probably of the early Restoration. 29 The sub-title reads: A Market Towne in Suffolke Which Was in the Great Winde Vpon S. Andrews Eue [i.e. 29 November] Pitifully Burned with Fire to the Value by Estimation of Tweentie Thousande Pounds. And to the Number of Fourscore Dwelling Houses, Besides a Great Number of Other Houses. 1586. The term sonnet (or sonet) could also refer at this time to any short poem, especially of a lyrical nature. 30 Although there is no evidence that this tune was popular then, it was attached to A Song of King Edgar, “shewing how he was deceived of his Loue” (Ambrose Phillips, Collection of Old Ballads, 1723). 31 Deserving of compassion or sympathy.

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Broadside Ballads

With teares all bedewed, at my wofull state, With fire so consumed,32 most wofull to vewe, Whose spoile° thy poore people, for ever may rue33 When well you have vewed my total decay, And pittie have pierced, your heartes as it may, Say thus my good neighbours that God in his ire, For sinne hath consumed poor Beckles with fire.

damage or injury

For one onely parish, myselfe I mought vaunt,° might boast To match with the bravest, for who but will graunt? The sea and the countrey, me sitting so nye, The fresh water river, so sweete running by, My medowes and commons, such prospect of health, My fayers in somer, so garnisht with wealth, My market so served, with corne, flesh, and fish, And all kinde of victuals, that poore men would wish, That who but knewe Beckles, with sighing may saye, Would God of his mercie, had sparde my decaye.° downfall, destruction But O my destruction, O most dismall day, My temple is spoyled, and brought in decay, My marketsted° burned, my beautie defaced, My wealth overwhelmed, my people displaced, My musicke is wayling, my mirth it is moone,° My ioyes are departed, my comfort is gone, My people poore creatures, are mourning in woe, Still wandring not wotting,° which way for to goe. Like sillie poore Troians, whom Sinon betrayde,34 But God of thy mercy, releeve them with ayde. O daye most unluckie, the winde lowde° in skie, The water harde frosen,35 the houses so drye, 32

market-place moaning

knowing

howling

A fire broke out in the chimney of a small house and, fanned by the gale-force winds, spread rapidly to other houses in the town. In the margin of the next stanza is the following note: “A rude felowe by fiering his chimney procured their calamitie.” 33 Grieve, regret. 34 By deceiving the Trojans regarding the purpose of the giant wooden horse left behind by the Greeks, Sinon, a Trojan captive, brought about the destruction of the city and its people. 35 The River Waveney, on which Beckles lies, had frozen solid early that year.

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To see such a burning, such flaming of fire, Such wayling, such crying, through scourge of Gods ire, Such running, such working, such taking of payne, Such whirling, such haling, such reaving in vaine,36 Such robbing, such stealing, from more to the lesse, Such dishonest dealing, in time of distresse, That who so hard hearted, and worne out of grace? But pittie may pierce him to thinke of my case. But O my good neighbours, that see mine estate,° condition But all one as Christians, not live in debate,° strife, contention With wrapping and trapping, each other in thrall,° oppression, bondage With watching, and pryeng at each others fall, With hoving,° and shoving, and striving in lawe, pushing (heaving) Of God nor his gospell, once standing in awe, Lyve not in heart-burning, at God never wrest,° turn or struggle against To Christ once be turning, not use Him in iest, Live lovely together and not in discorde, Let me be your mirrour, to live in the Lorde. But though God have pleased, for sinne to plague me, Let none thinke there living is cause they scape free, But let them remember, how Christ once did tell, Their sinnes were not greater, on whom the wall fell, But least you repent ye, thus much he doth say, Be sure and certaine ye also decaye, Let none then perswade them, so free from all thrall, But that their ill living, deserveth a fall, Thus farewell, forget not my wofull annoye, God send you [good] new yeare and [blesse me with ioye.] Finis q[uod] D. STERRI37 Fælix quem faciunt alièna pericula cautum.38

36

A woodcut at the top of the first column of the single sheet depicts the various actions taken by the Beckles citizens to put out the raging fire. 37 “Quod” (quoth or said) was sometimes used at the end of a piece of writing to introduce the name of the author. No further information is known about D. Sterri (or Sterrie). 38 “Happy is he who the dangers of others make cautious” (Latin).

16

Broadside Ballads

Ech stately towre with mightie walles up prope Ech loftie roofe which golden wealth hath raised All flickering wealth which flies in firmest hope All glittering hew so hauht° and highly praised noble, lofty I see by sodaine ruine of Beckles towne Is but a blast if mightie Iove39 doe frowne. At London, imprinted by Robert Robinson for Nicholas Colman of Norwich, dwelling in S. Andrewes Church yarde.

A Caveat for Cut-purses40 To the tune of, Packingtons Pound.41 My masters and friends and good people draw near And look to your purses, for that I do say. And though little mony in them you do bear, It cost more to get then to lose in a day: You oft have been told Both the young and the old, And bidden beware of the cut-purse so bold: Then if you take heed not, free me from the curse, Who both give you warning, for and the cut-purse, Youth, youth thou hadst better been starv’d by thy nurse Then live to be hang’d for cutting a purse. 39

In Roman mythology, Jupiter (or Jove) was the king of the gods and the god of the sky and thunder. 40 This ballad is an extended version of a song from Act III of Ben Jonson’s Bartholomew Fair (1614), appearing on the London streets as a broadside shortly after the play was staged. Cutting purses was a common method of theft at a time when men attached them to their belts. The sub-title reads: With a Warning [or caveat] to All Purse-Carriers: Shewing the Confidence of the First, and the Carelesnesse of the Last; with Necessary Admonitions for Them Both, Lest the Hangman Get the One, and the Begger Take the Other. There are four woodcuts of varying size in all, depicting different types of thieves and their potential victims (see illustration above, p. xii). 41 Thought to have been named after one of Queen Elizabeth’s favourite courtiers, Sir John Packington (1549-1625), Packington’s Pound became the most popular ballad tune of the age. The title supposedly refers to an incident in which Sir John built a pond (or “pound”) which encroached on a public highway. Having been ordered to remove it, he cut through the walls and let the water flood where it may.

The Common Touch: Volume I

It hath been upbraided° to men of my trade, That oftentimes we are the cause of this crime, Alack and for pitty, why should it be said? As if they regarded or places or time, Examples have been Of some that were seen In Westminster Hall42 yea the pleaders° between: Then why should the judges be free from this curse, More then my poor self is for cutting a purse, Youth, youth, &c. At Worster,43 ’tis known well and even in the jale, A knight of good worship44 did there shew his fa[ce] Against the foule sinners in zeale for to raile, And so lost, ipso facto,45 his purse in the place: Nay once from the seat Of judgement so great A judge there did lose a fair purse of velvet, Oh Lord for thy mercy how wicked or worse Are those that so venture their necks for a purse! Youth, youth, &c. At playes and at sermons, and at the Sessions,46 ’Tis daily their practice such booty to make, Yea under the gallows at executions, They stick not° the stare-abouts47 purses to take. Nay one without grace At a better place At court and in Christmas, before the Kings fa[ce.]48 Alack then for pitty must I bear the curse, That only belongs to the cunning cut-purse.

17 charged

advocates

do not hesitate

42 As well as being used for ceremonies and coronation banquets, Westminster Hall served as the country’s highest court. 43 Worcester, an ancient market town in the West Midlands, was known for its manufacture of cloth. In the late Middle Ages, it had been designated a “county corporate,” giving it autonomy from local government. 44 That is, a gentleman of good reputation, even perhaps of piety. 45 “By that very fact” (Latin). 46 Quarter Sessions were local courts held at four set times each year. 47 One who stares about (see Jonson’s Bartholomew Fair, III.v). 48 That is, in front of the king himself, James I.

18

Broadside Ballads

Youth, youth thou hadst better been starv’d by th[y] nurse Then live to be hang’d for cutting a pu[rse.] But oh! you vile nation of cut-purses all, Relent and repent, and amend and be sound, And know that you ought not by honest mens fall Advance your own fortunes to dye above ground, And though you go gay° showily dressed In silks as you may, It is not the highway to heaven as they say, Repent then repent you, for better for worse And kiss not the gallows for cutting a purse, Youth, youth thou hadst better been starv’d by thy nurse Then live to be hang’d for cutting a purse. The players do tell you in Bartholomew Faire49 What secret consumptions and rascals you are, For one of their actors it seems had the fate By some of your trade to be fleeced of late, Then fall to your prayers You that are way-layers, They’re fit to chouse all the world, that can cheat players For he hath the art, and no man the worse, Whose cunning can pilfer the pilferers purse. Youth, youth, &c. The plain country man that coms staring to London If once you come near him he quickly is undone, For when he amazedly gaz[e]th about One treads on his toes, an[d] the other puls’t out;50 Then in a strange place Where he knows no face, His mony is gone tis a pittiful case. The Divel of hell in his trade is noe worse Then gilter, and diver,51 and cutter of purse. Youth, youth, &c. 49 Held annually in West Smithfield during late August, Bartholomew Fair had by this time become infamous for its rowdiness and unsavoury forms of entertainment. 50 That is, pulls out his purse. 51 A “gilter” is a thief who has picklocks and false keys, while a “diver” picks pockets.

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The poor servant maid wears her purse in her placket52 A place of quick feeling and yet you can take it, Nor is she aware that you have done the feat° deed Untill she is going to pay for her meat, Then she cryes and rages Amongst her baggages,° parcels of goods, packages And swears at one thrust she hath lost all her wages For she is ingaged° her own to disburse,° obliged / pay To make good the breach of the cruel cut-purse. Youth, youth, &c. Your eyes and your fingers are nimble of growth, But Dun53 many times he hath been nimbler then both Yet you are deceived by many a slut, But the hang-man is only the cut-purses cut, It makes you to vex° fret or grieve When he bridles° your necks puts the noose around And then at the last what becomes of your tricks But when you should pray, you begin for to curse The hand that first shewd you to slash at a purse, Youth, youth, &c. But now to my hearers this counsel I give, And pray friends remember it as long as you live, Bring out no more cash in purse, pocket or wallet, Then one single penny to pay for the ballet,° For cut-purse doth shrowd Himself in a cloud, There’s many a purse hath been lost in a crowd For he’s the most rogue that doth crowd up & curses Who first cryes My masters beware of your purses. Oh youth thou hadst better been starv’d by thy nurse Then live to be hang’d for cutting a purse.

ballad

Printed for W. Gilbertson.

52

The opening at the top of a skirt or petticoat (or possibly even the vagina). A thief who uses a hook on a line, also called hookman (Elizabethan jargon or cant). 53

20

Broadside Ballads

A Light Hearts a Iewell54 To the tune of Jacke Puddings Vagary.55 All you that merry lives doe lead, although your meanes bee little, That seldome are o’reseene in bread,° nor take much thought for vittle:° Attend while I’le exemplyfie, the mind° that I do carry, I take delight both morne and night, to have mine owne vagary. Though fortune have not lent me wealth, as shee hath done to many, Yet while I’ve liberty and health, I’le bee as blith as any: I’le beare an honest upright heart, theres none shall prove contrary, Yet now and then abroad I’le start,° and have mine owne vagary. No base° profession will I chuse, thereby to get my living, No Kent-street maunding56 will I use, my minds more bent to giving: I will not say I’m this and that, 54

overcome with excessive eating food (victual) thoughts, ideas

go

unworthy

The only known copy of this anonymous ballad is in the Roxburghe Collection (I. 210-211). Although of uncertain date, the various cant terms used throughout the poem would suggest that it was composed sometime during the late Elizabethan era or early seventeenth century. The sub-title reads: Or, The Honest Good Blade Who a Free Heart Doth Carry, and Cares for Nothing but to Have’s Owne Vagary. There are three woodcuts in all, the largest depicting a street entertainment and the other two showing a lady and a gallant in elaborate dress (see illustration below, p. 384). 55 Jack Pudding was a buffoon character appearing in stage and street performances. “Vagary” here is meant in the sense of a departure or straying from the usual course of conduct, decorum, or propriety, perhaps a frolic or a prank. 56 Old Kent Road was the route from London to Dover (and onward to the continent), taken by pilgrims on their way to Canterbury, and hence attracting many beggars (or maunders).

The Common Touch: Volume I

with bug beare° boasts to scare ye, Let coxcombs prate° they know not what, I’le have mine owne vagary. I am no Graves-end travailour,57 no teller of strange storyes, No forger of corantos58 nor, a man that evermore° is Extolling of his owne deserts, and with proud° words will dare° ye; Let such as these are act their parts, I’le have mine owne vagary.

21 hobgoblin, bogey fools prattle

constantly lofty, grand / dazzle, amaze

I am no haunter of the playes, to picke poore peoples purses, Nor one that every word he saies, doth coyne new oathes and curses: If I doe runne on tapsters scores° up drinking debts in taverns, etc. to pay them I am wary, Let others spend their means on whoors, I love mine owne vagary. I am no blade° nor roaring boy,59 aboading° in the city, No whiske, no lift, nor no decoy,60 nor one that asks for pitty: My educations not the best, yet such a heart I carry, That what my humour° can’t disgest, it fits not my vagary. No city shuffler° scarce of age, to have what fate hath left me, 57

a free-and-easy fellow, a gallant dwelling

character, disposition

a slippery, shifty person

Gravesend, on the south bank of the River Thames, was a port town and one of the major centres for those travelling from London to Dover and abroad. 58 That is, he does not pretend to be an expert in terms of corantos (or courantes), a popular dance and tune of the time. 59 Noisy street bully. 60 It has been suggested that these three terms refer to card-playing, “whiske” and “decoy” being card games and “lift” a trick used in them. However, it is also possible that they pertain to shop-lifting and the like.

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Broadside Ballads

No haire braind asse° that’s full of rage; reason hath not bereft me: No great bum-bayly61 that may fright, my fearefull adversary, But one that loves and takes delight, to have his owne vagary. No usurer62 that hords up trash, nor yet a noted spender, No borrowing sharke that never payes, but to a friend a lender. No petyfog,° nor common-bayle,63 for no such fellowes care I, In honest sort I'le never faile, to have mine owne vagary.

a stupid, foolish person

rascally attorney (pettifogger)

The second part, to the same tune. No bowling alley rooke° am I, that sweareth all by dam mee,° By such I’le not o’re reached bee, in this their’s none can blame mee: No swaggering pimp that champion is, to Dole,° to Kate, and Sary, I hate such slavish offices, those fit not my vagary. Those painefull swaines64 that on the greene,65 doe dayly take their pleasure, The pleasant’st life that can bee seene, though not so stor’d with treasure: When husband-men° and sheapheard swaines,° with lasses of the dary, Doe sportingly trip ore the plaines,° O that fits my vagary. 61

cheat, sharper damn me (oath)

Doll

farmers / youths meadows

A bailiff of the meanest kind, employed in arrests (bumbailiff). A money lender who charges excessive rates. 63 Common law bailiff. 64 That is, countrymen or rustics who work with labour and care (painful). 65 A piece of public or common land situated in or near a town or village, the village green. 62

The Common Touch: Volume I

I care not to weare gallant raggs,° and owe the taylour for them, I care not for those vaunting brags,° I ever did abhorre them: What to the world I seeme to bee, no man shall prove contrary, My suites° shall suite to my degree, O that fits my vagary.

showy, fashionable dress ostentatious and boastful braggarts

I care not for those scarre crow° blades, whose valour lyes in speeches, That in discourse of manhood wades, oft-times above their reaches: If I have not a minde to fight, I’le urge no adversary, When word and deed both jump aright, O that fits my vagary. I care not for the broakers booke,66 my names not there inrouled,° I nothing owe, therefore I looke, by none to be controuled: I doe not feare the sergeants mace,° walke by the Counter67 dare I, And looke a bayliffe in the face, O this is my vagary.

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clothes

lean and gaunt (scarecrow)

enrolled

a law officer’s symbol of authority

I care not much in company, to spend what is allotted, I’le drinke but for sufficiency, I’le never be besotted: When I doe feele my spirits dull, a cup of old Canary° a light sweet wine from the Canary Islands Will fill my heart with courage full, and this is my vagary.

66

A book of debt recorded by a retailer, pawnbroker, etc. The Poultry Counter (or Poultry Compter) was a small prison near Cheapside, controlled by a sheriff and used to house debtors, vagrants, etc. 67

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Broadside Ballads

I care not for sad malecontent,° that is the bane of nature, I love good honest merryment, and I’le despise no creature: Thats for my use and sustinence, and still I will bee wary, Least I exceed in my expence, that fits not my vagary.

discontent, rebelliousness

Still will I have an honest care, that none lyes wronged by mee, I’le not build castles in the ayre,° a hope or desire unlikely to be realized whoever lists° to try me, wants Shall find in all thats promis’d heere, not any word contrary, I envious censure doe not feare, I’le have my owne vagary. Printed at London for I. Wright, dwelling in Gilt-spur Street.

A Ditty Delightfull of Mother Watkins Ale68 There was a maid this other day, And she would needs° go forth to play; And as she walked she sithd° and said, I am afraid to die a mayd. With that, behard° a lad, What talke this maiden had, Whereof he was full glad, And did not spare To say, Faire mayd, I pray, Whether goe you to play? Good sir, then did she say, What do you care? For I will, without faile, Mayden, give you Watkins ale; Watkins ale, good sir, quoth she, What is that I pray you tel me?

wanted to sighed heard

68 An anonymous ballad composed about 1590, with the following sub-title: A Warning Wel Wayed, Though Counted a Tale.

The Common Touch: Volume I

Tis sweeter farre then suger fine, And pleasanter than muskadine;° And if you please, faire mayd, to stay A little while, with me to play, I will give you the same, Watkins ale cald by name,— Or els I were to blame, In truth, faire mayd. Good sir, quoth she againe, Yf you will take the paine, I will it not refraine, Nor be dismayd.° He took this mayden then aside, And led her where she was not spyde,° And told her many a prety tale, And gave her well of Watkins ale. Good sir, quoth she, in smiling sort, What doe you call this prety sport? Or what is this you do to me? Tis called Watkins ale, quoth he, Wherein, faire mayd, you may Report another day, When you go forth to play, How you did speed.° Indeed, good sir, quoth she, It is a prety glee,° And well it pleaseth me, No doubt indeed, Thus they sported and they playd, This yong man and this prety mayd, Under a banke whereas° they lay, Not long agoe this other day. When he had done to her his will, They talkt, but what it shall not skill;° At last, quoth she, saving° your tale, Give me some more of Watkins ale, Or else I wil not stay, For I must needs away,— My mother bad° me play,—

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muscadine wine

discouraged seen

fare, prosper entertainment

where

does not matter putting aside

bade

26

Broadside Ballads

The time is past; Therefore, good sir, quoth she, If you have done with me. Nay, soft,° faire maid, quoth he, Againe at last Let us talke a little while. With that the mayd began to smile, And saide, good sir, full well I know, Your ale, I see, runs very low.

wait a minute, hold on

This yong man then, being so blamd, Did blush as one being ashamde; He tooke her by the midle small, And gave her more of Watkins ale; And saide, faire maid, I pray, When you goe forth to play, Remember what I say, Walke not alone. Good sir, quoth she againe, I thanke you for your paine, For feare of further staine, I will be gone. Farewell, mayden, then quoth he; Adue, good sir, againe quoth she. Thus they parted at last, Till thrice three months were gone and past. This mayden then fell very sicke, Her maydenhead began to kicke, Her colour waxed wan and pale With taking much of Watkins ale. I wish all maydens coy,° That heare this prety toy,° Wherein most women ioy, How they doe sport; For surely Watkins ale, And if it not be stale, Will turne them to some bale,° As hath report. New ale will make their bellies bowne,° As trial by this same is knowne;

modest amusing tale

harm, danger swell

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This proverbe hath bin taught in schools,— It is no iesting with edge tooles.69 Thrise scarcely changed hath the moon, Since first this pretty tricke was done, Which being harde° of one by chance, He made thereof a country dance; And, as I heard the tale, He cauld it Watkins ale, Which never will be stale, I doe beleeve; This dance is now in prime,° And chiefly usde this time, And lately put in rime. Let no man greeve To heare this merry iesting tale, That which is called Watkins ale; It is not long since it was made,— The finest flower will soonest fade. Good maydes and wives, I pardon crave, And lack not the which you would have; To blush it is a womans grace, And well becometh a maidens face, For women will refuse The thing that they would chuse, Cause° men should them excuse Of thinking ill; Cat will after kind,70 All winkers are not blind,71— Faire maydes, you know my mind, Say what you will. When you drinke ale beware the toast, For therein lay the danger most, If any heere offended be, Then blame the author, blame not me.

heard

in its prime, popular

For this reason

Finis. 69

“The man who plays with sharp-edged tools may cut his finger” (proverb). “Like will to like” (proverb). 71 “Although I wink I am not blind” (proverb). 70

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Broadside Ballads

A He-Deuil72 To the tune of, The Shee-diuell.73 When I a maiden was, I long’d to be married, But now (alas) such is my case, I wish I had longer tarried,° Matching over hastily hath wrought me mickle° evill. She that weds such a knave as I, were as good to marry the Devill.

waited much

I thought each day as long as a yeere, untill that I was mated, My mayden-head I could not beare, so sore that life I hated: I long’d to have a man, with pleasure to content me, But now that I have gotten one, it sorely doth repent me. For he is such a dogged° wretch, and doth so basely use me, Many a sorrowfull sigh I fetch, when he doth beat and bruise me. I marryed him for love that was not worth a farthing,°

cruel, surly

as good as nothing

72 Composed by the famous ballad-maker, Martin Parker (c. 1600-1656?), this broadside was registered for publication by Francis Grove on March 12, 1630. The sub-title reads: Or, If This Womans Husband Vse Her Well, Ile Say Some Kindnesse May Be Found in Hell. Directly below the title is a large woodcut depicting a woman with three children about her. She is apparently remonstrating with a man, who is welldressed and smoking a clay pipe. 73 The tune is not known, but The She Diuell of Westminster was registered for publication a few months later, which suggests that Parker had first written a ballad of that title about harassed husbands before turning to the present subject.

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And yet he doth ingratefull prove, iudge, is not this a hard thing? Two hundred pounds in ready coyne, my father did bequeath me, Which I (as freely as ’twas mine) did give to him that hath me. Against my friends consent, I chose him for my pleasure, But now my hasty match repent, I doe (as they say) by leasure. The second part to the same tune. He doth consume & waste my means in lewd° dishonest fashion, Among a crew of knaves and queanes° which turnes to my vexation: And if I speake to him, in kindnesse, to reclaime him, Heele° with his girdle° lace my skin, though all the neighbours blame him.

wicked, evil rogues and whores

He’ll / belt

Every day I labour sore and earne my food with sweating, Yet all the thankes I have therefore, is nought unlesse ’t be a beating. What I have earn’d all day, (alas) I speakt with sorrow, The knave at night takes all away, to spend upon the morrow. And glad am I to please him so, if I might but live quiet: While he doth to the ale-house goe, I worke to get his dyet.° Though my labour earnes the meat, I nor my little daughter, Till he hath done, dare nothing eate, but dine (like servants) after.

food, meals

30

Broadside Ballads

When he comes home drunke at night, if supper be not drest,° Most divellishly heele raile and fight, though humbly I request Him to be patient, but there is no such matter, And if the meat doe not him content, heele breake my head with the platter.

ready

I like a servile bond-slave, doe wipe his boots and shooes, And yet the domineering knave, so basely doth me use, That if one spot on them he find, about my head heele beat them, And if with words I shew my mind, I were as good to eat them. Though such a portion74 I did bring, as before is said, Yet I doe every droyling° thing, heele let me keepe no maide. I wash and scowre, yet (if you will beleeve me) I seldome live a quiet houre, iudge whether this doth grieve me. If any neighbour me invite, to gossipping, or feasting, I dare not goe (is not this a spight)° for feare of his molesting.° I forth to supper went one night, but that may be my warning, Heele not indure me out on’s sight, he is so afraid of horning.75 How can it chuse but griefe me still, to see some of my neighbours, 74 75

That is, the two hundred pounds from her father. Of being cuckolded or dishonoured by adultery.

menial and disagreeable

outrage, injustice causing trouble or injury

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That money have to spend at will out of their husbands labours, And I that to my portion brought two hundred pounds in money, Dare never doe, as women ought, nor hardly spend a penny. If any time he money lacke and I cannot supply him, Heel pawn my garments from my back, and I dare not deny him, Tother day he tooke my smocke,° woman’s undergarment (smock) and pawn’d it for a shilling, I came, and found him at the Cocke,° name of tavern or inn iust when the drinke was filling. All you maidens faire, that have a mind to wed, Take heed and be aware, lest you like me be sped.° And you good wives, that heare my wofull ditty, If you ere° bought ballad in your lives, buy this, for very pitty. FINIS. M.P. Printed for F. Groue, on Snow-hill.

treated

ever

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Broadside Ballads

A Pleasant Countrey New Ditty: Merrily Shewing How to Driue the Cold Winter Away76 To the tune of, When Phoebus did rest, &c.77 All hayle to the dayes, That merite more praise, then all the rest of the yeare: And welcome the nights, That double delights, as well the poore as the peere:° Good fortune attend, Each merry mans friend, that doth but the best that he may: Forgetting old wrongs, With carrols and songs, to drive the cold winter away. Let misery packe,° With a whip at his backe, to the deep Tantalian flood: In the Lethe profound,78 Let envy be drown’d, that pines at° another mans good: Let sorrowes expence, Be banded from hence, all payments of griefe delay: And wholly consort, With mirth and with sport, to drive the cold winter away.

nobility

depart, be off

longs for, hungers after

76 Composed about 1625, this Christmas-time ballad is of unknown authorship. It has sometimes been erroneously ascribed to Thomas D’Urfey, the first part of which is to be found in his Wit and Mirth, or Pills to Purge Melancholy (1719-20). Two woodcuts, one for each part of the poem, depict scenes of merriment, the first of men eating and drinking (“waissailing”) and the second of a family at supper. 77 This tune can also be found in John Playford’s The English Dancing Master (1651). Moreover, a number of Cavalier songs during the Civil War were sung to it. 78 That is, let misery be whipped and banished to the depths of the underworld and forgotten. In classical mythology, Tantalian refers to the punishment of Tantalus, neck-deep in water which he cannot drink. Lethe is the river in the underworld whose water made drinkers forget their past.

The Common Touch: Volume I

Tis ill for a mind, To anger inclind, to ruminate° injuries now: If wrath be to seeke, Do not let her thy cheeke, nor yet inhabite thy brow. Crosse out of those bookes, Malevolent lookes, both beauty and youthes decay: And spend the long night, In honest delight, to drive the cold winter away.

79

33

consider, meditate on

The court° in all state,° Now opens her gate, and bids a free welcome to most: The city° likewise, Though somewhat precise,° doth willingly part with her cost: And yet by report, From city and court, the countrey gets the day:79 More liquor is spent, And better content, to drive the cold winter away.

royal court / dignity and splendour

The gentry° there, For cost do not spare, the yeomanry80 fast in Lent:81 The farmers and such, Thinke nothing too much, if they keep but to pay their rent: The poorest of all, Do merrily call, want, beares but a little sway: For a song or a tale,

people of good birth and breeding

London formal and correct

That is, wins out over court and city. Small landholders of respectable standing. 81 Lent, the period from Ash Wednesday to Easter Saturday, is observed by Christians as a time of fasting and penitence. 80

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Broadside Ballads

Ore a pot of good ale, to drive the cold winter away. Thus none will allow, Of solitude now, but merrily greets the time: To make it appeare, Of all the whole yeare, that this is accounted the prime. December is seene, Apparel’d in greene, and January fresh as May: Comes dancing along, With a cup and a song, to drive the cold winter away. The second part. To the same tune. This time of the yeare, Is spent in good cheare, kind neighbours together meet: To sit by the fire, With friendly desire, each other in love to greet: Old grudges forgot, Are put in the pot, all sorrowes aside they lay: The old and the yong, Doth caroll his song, to drive the cold winter away. Sisley and Nanny,82 More iocund then any, as blithe as the month of Iune: Do caroll and sing, Like birds of the spring, no nightingale sweeter in tune: To bring in content, 82 Pet female names, “Sisley” being a variant of Cecilia and “Nanny” of Ann, Hannah or Nancy.

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When summer is spent, in pleasant delight and play: With mirth and good cheere, To end the old yeere, and drive the cold winter away. The shepheard, the swaine,° Do highly disdaine, to waste out his time in care: And Clim of the Clough,83 Hath plenty enough, if but a penny he spare: To spend at the night, In ioy and delight, now after his labours all day: For better then lands, Is helpe of his hands, to drive the cold winter away. To maske and to mum,84 Kind neighbours will come, with wassels85 of nut brown ale; To drinke and carouse, To all in this house, as merry as bucks in the pale:86 Where cake, bread and cheese, Is brought for your fees,° to make you the longer stay: At the fire to warme, Will do you no harme, to drive the cold winter away.

83

countryman, rustic

gift, reward

The name is derived from a folk hero in northern England, made famous by the sixteenth-century ballad Adam Bell, Clim of the Clough, and William of Cloudesly (see below, p. 53). 84 An important part of the festivities was visits to the homes of friends and neighbours, wearing disguises and offering representations of mummer’s plays and other forms of entertainment. 85 Wassailing was a custom observed, on Twelfth Night and New Year’s Eve, of drinking healths from the wassail-bowl. 86 Male goats in a pen.

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When Christmas tide, Comes in like a bride, with holly and ivy clad: Twelve dayes in the yeare,87 Much mirth and good cheare, in every houshold is had: The countrey guise,° Is then to devise, some gambole° of Christmas play: Whereas the yong men, Do best that they can, to drive the cold winter away. When white-bearded frost, Hath threatned his worst, and fallen from branch & bryer:° Then time away cals, From husbandry hals,88 & from the good countrymans fire: Together to go, To plow and to sow, to get us both food and array:° And thus with content, The time we have spent, to drive the cold winter away.

custom, practice frolicsome games

a thorny bush, bramble (brier)

clothing, attire

FINIS. Printed at London for H.G.89

87 The Twelve Days of Christmas, from 26 December through to the feast of Epiphany on January 6th. 88 That is, the manors and farms. 89 During the early decades of the seventeenth century, Henry Gosson published and sold largely small-scale popular literature from his shop on London Bridge.

GESTES OF ROBIN HOOD AND OTHER OUTLAWS

I The oldest surviving literary allusion to Robin Hood occurs in William Langland’s late fourteenth-century poem Piers Plowman, in which a character confesses: “I kan [know] not parfitly my Paternoster1 as the preest it singeth, / But I kan rymes of Robyn Hood.” From such references, historical and otherwise, it is clear that by this time the exploits of Robin and his band were well established in popular lore. The origins of the legend, however, remain obscure. There are numerous references after the mid-thirteenth century to Robynhods, Hobbehods and the like in the rolls of the English justices, particularly in relation to outlaws, which would suggest that, at least in some cases, they deliberately adopted this pseudonym. Yet, despite every attempt down the centuries to identify an historical Robin Hood, it is still not known whether he was a real person or a generalized outlaw figure—or, indeed, a totally fictional character. What can be said is that by the late Middle Ages this folk hero probably belongs more to literature than to history. The earliest surviving text of a Robin Hood ballad is Robin Hood and the Monk, preserved in a manuscript dating from around 1450. Then at the close of the century, only a few decades after the introduction of printing in England, A Gest of Robyn Hode was published, its popularity reflected by numerous reprintings during the sixteenth century and afterwards. Gathering together episodes into a single narrative from previous—but now lost—ballads, the later influence of this work on the tradition was profound. Accompanying these late medieval ballads were an unknown number of short, dramatic pieces, of which only three survive. The oldest is Robyn Hod and the Shryff off Notyngham (c. 1475), fragmentary and in manuscript form, marking the first known entry into the outlaw saga of the famous Friar Tuck. The other two, Robin Hood and the Friar and Robin 1

The Lord’s Prayer, especially in the Latin version.

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Gestes of Robin Hood and Other Outlaws

Hood and the Potter, were appended to William Copland’s edition of A Mery Geste of Robyn Hoode (c. 1660), curiously presented as a single work and with the following description: “a newe playe for to be played in Maye games very plesaunte and full of pastyme.” Particularly noteworthy is the fact that by now the Robin Hood legend had been fully integrated into the May Day rituals. As the sixteenth century progressed, domestication of the tales occurred, introducing, for example, a female love interest. It also fixed Robin more firmly in the era of the Third Crusade, when King John ruled in place of King Richard, and transformed him from a yeoman into an aristocrat. In 1598, Anthony Munday wrote a pair of influential plays identifying him as Robert, Earl of Huntington, which, to all intents and purposes, completed the gentrification of Robin Hood and his “Merry Men.”

II While never seriously rivalling the tales of Robin Hood, the exploits of the second most famous band of English outlaws—Adam Bell, Clim of Clough and William of Cloudesly—were common fare from the early sixteenth century onwards. Appearing in a single, lengthy ballad, most probably with its origins in the late Middle Ages, it contains many of the distinctive features of contemporary metrical romance, including the division into fyttes (or parts) and the minstrel’s occasional direct address to the listeners. During the Elizabethan Age, Adam Bell (as it became known) was printed by William Copland around 1560, with two further entries of the work appearing in the Stationers’ Register before the turn of the century. Its popularity led to a second part being produced, perhaps as early as 1586, generally considered as an “absurd extravaganza” and having little to do with the genuine tradition. Shakespeare alludes to the poem in Much Ado About Nothing (I.i), as does Ben Jonson in the first act of The Alchemist. And during the course of the seventeenth century, it went through at least seven further reprints. Not only did the saga of the three “yemen of the north country” retain its following for over two centuries, but it is undoubtedly the most stirring of all English outlaw ballads.

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Robin Hood and Little John2 Tune of Arthur a Bland.3 When Robin Hood was about twenty years old, With a hey down, down, and a down4 He happen’d to meet Little John, A jolly brisk blade,° right fit for the trade, For he was a lusty° young man.

young man hearty, robust

Though he was call’d Little, his limbs they were large, And his stature was seven foot high; Whereever he came, they quak’d at his name, For soon he wou’d make them to flie. How they came acquainted, I’ll tell you in brief, If you will but listen a while; For this very jest,5 amongst all the rest, I think it may cause you to smile. Bold Robin Hood said to his jolly bowmen, Pray tarry you here in this grove; And see that you all observe well my call, While thorough the forest I rove. We have had no sport for these fourteen long days, Therefore now abroad will I go; Now should I be beat, and cannot retreat, My horn I will presently° blow. instantly, without delay

2

This version of Robin Hood and Little John, printed by W. Onley in the early 1680s, is probably the one (though in a somewhat more elaborate form) entered in the Stationers’ Register on 29 June 1624. It has been suggested that the lyrics were produced by a professional ballad writer to explain how Little John came by his name. The sub-title reads: Being an Account of Their First Meeting, Their Fierce Encounter and Conquest. To Which Is Added Their Friendly Agreement, and How He Came to Be Call’d Little John. 3 This tune was used in a number of later Robin Hood ballads. 4 A common refrain, probably meant to be repeated throughout the work. 5 An adventure, but perhaps also suggesting a humorous tale, as indicated in the next line.

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Gestes of Robin Hood and Other Outlaws

Then did he shake hands with his merry men all, And bid them at present good by; Then, as near a brook his journey he took, A stranger he chanc’d to espy. They happen’d to meet on a long narrow bridge, And neither of them would give way; Quoth bold Robin Hood, and sturdily stood, I’ll show you right° Nottingham play. With that from his quiver an arrow he drew, A broad arrow with a goose-wing: The stranger replyd, I’ll licker° thy hide, If thou offer to touch the string. Quoth bold Robin Hood, Thou dost prate° like an ass, For were I to bend but my bow, I could send a dart quite through thy proud heart, Before thou couldst strike me one blow.

proper, true

thrash, beat

bray

Thou talk like a coward, the stranger reply’d; Well arm’d with a long bow you stand, To shoot at my breast, while I, I protest, Have naught but a staff in my hand. The name of a coward, quoth Robin, I scorn, Wherefore my long bow I’ll lay by; And now, for thy sake, a staff will I take, The truth of thy manhood to try. Then Robin Hood stept to a thicket of trees, And chose him a staff of ground oak;° Now this being done, away he did run To the stranger, and merrily spoke: Lo! see my staff is lusty and tough,6 Now here on this bridge we will play; Whoever falls in, the other shall win The battle, and so we’ll away. 6

Later texts read “rough.”

an oak sapling

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With all my whole heart to thy humor° I yield, I scorn in the least to give out. This said, they fell to’t without more dispute, And their staffs they did flourish about.

41 inclination, fancy

And first Robin he gave the stranger a bang, So hard that it made his bones ring: The stranger he said, This must be repaid; I’ll give you as good as you bring. So long as I’m able to handle my staff, To die in your debt, friend, I scorn. Then to it both goes, and follow’d their blows, As if they’d been thrashing of corn. The stranger gave Robin a crack on the crown, Which caused the blood to appear; Then Robin, enrag’d, more fiercely engag’d, And follow’d his blows more severe. So thick and so fast did he lay it on him, With a passionate fury and eyre,° At every stroke, he made him to smoke, As if he had been all on a fire.

anger, wrath (ire)

O then into a fury the stranger he grew And gave him a damnable look, And with it a blow that laid him full low And tumbl’d him into the brook. I prithee,° good fellow, O where art thou now? The stranger, in laughter, he cry’d; Quoth bold Robin Hood, Good faith, in the flood,° And floting along with the tide.°

Pray tell me

I needs must° acknowledge thou art a brave° soul; With thee I’ll no longer contend; For needs must I say, thou has got the day, Our battle shall be at an end.

of necessity / stout-hearted

stream current

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Gestes of Robin Hood and Other Outlaws

Then, then, to the bank he did presently wade, And pull’d himself out by a thorn; Which done, at the last, he blow’d a loud blast Straitways on his fine bugle-horn. The eccho of which through the vallies did flie, At which his stout bowmen appear’d, All cloathed in green, most gay,° to be seen; So up to their master they steer’d.°

colourful, bright headed

O what’s the matter? quoth William Stutely;7 Good master, you are wet to the skin. No matter, quoth he, the lad which you see, In fighting he tumbl’d me in. He shall not go scot free,8 the others reply’d; So straight they were seising him there,° To duck him likewise; but Robin Hood cries, He is a stout fellow, forbear.

straightaway

There’s no one shall wrong thee, friend, be not afraid; These bowmen upon me do wait;° await my command There’s threescore and nine; if thou wilt be mine, Thou shalt have my livery° strait. uniform And other accoutrements fit for my train,° Speak up, jolly blade, ne’r fear; I’ll teach thee also the use of the bow, To shoot at the fat fallow-deer.°

followers

reddish brown deer

O here is my hand, the stranger reply’d, I’ll serve you with all my whole heart; My name is John Little, a man of good mettle; Ne’r doubt me, for I’ll play my part. His name shall be alter’d, quoth William Stutely, And I will his godfather be; 7

This figure appears only one other time in the Robin Hood tradition, in a seventeenthcentury ballad called Robin Hood Rescuing Will Stutly. 8 Without paying his “scot” or bill.

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Prepare then a feast, and none of the least, For we will be merry, quoth he. They presently fetch’d in a brace° of fat does, With humming° strong liquor likewise; They lov’d what was good, so in the green wood, This pritty sweet babe they baptize. He was, I must tell you, but seven foot high, And may be an ell in the waste;° A pritty sweet lad, much feasting they had; Bold Robin the christ’ning grac’d,

pair, couple extremely

a waist of forty-five inches

With all his bowmen, which stood in a ring, And were of the Nottingham breed; Brave Stutely comes then, with seven yeomen, And did in this manner proceed: This infant was called John Little, quoth he, Which name shall be changed anon;° The words we’ll transpose, so where-ever he goes, His name shall be call’d Little John. They all with a shout made the elements ring,° So soon as the office° was o’re; To feasting they went, with true merriment, And tipl’d strong liquor gallore. Then Robin he took the pritty sweet babe, And cloath’d him from top to the toe In garments of green, most gay to be seen, And gave him a curious° long bow.

at once

filled the air function, business

skilfully made, excellent

Thou shalt be an archer as well as the best, And range in the green wood with us; Where we’ll not want° gold nor silver, behold, While bishops have ought° in their purse.

lack anything

We live here like esquires, or lords of renown, Without e’re° a foot of free land;

ever

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Gestes of Robin Hood and Other Outlaws

We feast on good cheer, with wine, ale, and beer, And ev’ry thing at our command. Then musick and dancing did finish the day At length when the sun waxed low, Then all the whole train° the grove did refrain,° And unto their caves they did go.

company / leave

And so ever after, as long as they liv’d, Although he was proper° and tall, well-made, of goodly appearance Yet nevertheless, the truth to express, Still° Little John they did him call. Always

Robin Hood and the Friar and Robin Hood and the Potter9 Here Beginnethe the Playe of Robyn Hoode, Verye Proper to Be Played in Maye Games Robyn Hode10 Now stand ye forth my mery men all, And harke what I shall say; Of an adventure I shal you tell, The which befell this other day. As I went by the hygh way, With a stoute frere I met, And a quarter staffe° in his hande. stout pole Lyghtely° to me he lept, Quickly And styll he bade me stande. There were strypes° two or three, blows But I cannot tell who had the worse; But well I wote° the horeson° lepte within° me know / And fro me he toke my purse. bastard (whoreson) / upon 9

The title conceals the fact that two distinct plays, Robin Hood and the Friar and Robin Hood and the Potter, were brought together as “a new playe” in William Copland’s edition of A Mery Geste of Robyn Hoode. While the first one is complete, the other that follows, without a break, comes abruptly to an end in the middle of the action. Both are very much dependent upon earlier ballads and were probably re-worked for the press in some haste to exploit the contemporary appetite for May Game plays. Printed c. 1560, a further edition, appended to Edward White’s A Merry Jest of Robin Hood, appeared c. 1590. 10 Enter Robin Hood and his men.

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Is there any of my mery men all That to that frere wyll go, And bryng hym to me forth withall,° Whether he wyll or no? Lytell John Yes, mayster, I make God avowe,° To that frere wyll I go, And bryng him to you, Whether he wyl or no. Fryer Tucke11 Deus hic! Deus hic! God be here!12 Is not this a holy worde for a frere? God save all this company! But am not I a jolly fryer? For I can shote both farre and nere, And handle the sworde and buckler,° And this quarter staffe also. If I mete with a gentylman or yeman,13 I am not afrayde to loke hym upon, Nor boldly with him to carpe;° If he speake any wordes to me, He shall have strypes two or thre, That shal make his body smarte. But, maister[s], to shew you the matter Wherfore and why I am come hither, In fayth I wyl not spare, I am come to seke a good yeman, In Barnisdale14 men sai is his habitacion. His name is Robyn Hode, And if that he be better man than I, His servaunt wyll I be, and serve him truely; But if that I be better man than he, 11

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forthwith, immediately

a vow to God

a small round shield

talk

Enters after the others depart. This figure is more clearly identified here as “Friar Tuck” of the Robin Hood tradition than in the ballad versions. 12 Probably a corruption of the Latin phrase Haec dicit Dominus Deus (“Thus saith the Lord”). 13 A countryman of some standing, below the rank of a gentleman (yeoman). 14 Various early references connect Robin Hood with the Barnsdale area of what is now South Yorkshire, bordering on Nottinghamshire.

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Gestes of Robin Hood and Other Outlaws By my truth my knave° shall he be, And lead these dogges all three.15

Robyn Hode16 Yelde the,° fryer, in thy long cote.17 Fryer Tucke I beshrew° thy hart, knave,° thou hurtest my throt. Robyn Hode I trowe,° fryer, thou beginnest to dote:° Who made the so malapert° and so bolde To come into this forest here Amonge my falowe° dere?

servant

thee

curse / rogue

think / act foolishly impudent reddish brown (fallow)

Fryer18 Go louse the,° ragged knave. If thou make mani wordes, I wil geve the on the eare, Though I be but a poore fryer. To seke Robyn Hode I am com here, And to him my hart to breke.°

delouse yourself

reveal my intentions

Robyn Hode Thou lousy frer, what wouldest thou with hym? He never loved fryer nor none of freiers kyn.19 Fryer Avaunt,° ye ragged knave! Or ye shall have° on the skynne. Robyn Hode Of all the men in the morning thou art the worst, To mete with the I have no lust;°

Be off, go away be hit

desire

15 The “half a hundred good ban-dogs” in the ballad has obviously been reduced to this number for purposes of the play. 16 Enters, probably in disguise, and seizes the friar by the throat. 17 His name may be owing to the practice of “tucking up” the friar’s long habit. 18 Shakes off Robin Hood. 19 Robin’s dislike of clergy is also evident elsewhere, as in Robin Hood and the Monk.

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For he that meteth a frere or a fox in the morning, To spede° ell° that day he standeth in jeoperdy. Therfore I had lever° mete with the Devil of hell, Fryer, I tell the as I thinke, Then mete with a fryer or a fox In a mornyng, or° I drynke.20

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fare / ill rather

before

Fryer Avaunt, thou ragged knave, this is but a mock!21 If you make mani words, you shal have a knock. Robyn Hode Harke, frere, what I say here; Over this water thou shalt me bere; The brydge is borne away. Fryer To saye naye I wyll not; To let the of thine oth it were great pitie and sin; But upon a fryers backe and have even in. Nay, have over.22

Robyn Hode

Fryer Now am I, frere, within,23 and, thou, Robin, without, To lay the here I have no great doubt.24 Now art thou, Robyn, without, and I, frere, within,25 Lye ther, knave; chose whether thou wilte sinke or swym. Robyn Hode Why, thou lowsy frere, what hast thou doon?

20

Probably based on the following proverb: “If you meet a friar or fox in the morning before you eat or drink, you will have bad luck for the rest of the day.” Friars were sometimes compared to foxes in late medieval literature. 21 Mockery, contemptuous speech. 22 Climbing on the friar’s back. 23 That is, in the water. 24 Throwing Robin in the water. 25 The words “within” and “without” should be reversed to make proper sense.

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Gestes of Robin Hood and Other Outlaws

Fryer Mary,26 set a knave over the shone.27 Therfore thou shalt abye.°

Robyn Hode

Fryer Why, wylt thou fyght a plucke?°

pay the penalty

a bout with clubs

Robyn Hode And God send me good lucke. Fryer Than have a stroke for Fryer Tucke. Robyn Hode Holde thy hande, frere, and here me speke.28 Fryer Saye on, ragged knave, Me semeth ye begyn to swete. Robyn Hode In this forest I have a hounde, I wyl not give him for an hundredth pound: Geve me leve my horne to blowe, That my hounde may knowe. Fryer Blowe on, ragged knave, without any doubte, Untyll bothe thyne eyes starte out. Here be a sorte of ragged knaves come in,29 Clothed all in Kendale grene,30 And to the they take their way nowe.

26

An exclamation, often used in answering a question (as here), similar to “why, to be sure.” It basically invokes the name of Mary, Jesus’s mother. 27 That is, put a rogue in his proper place. 28 Robin is losing the fight. 29 Enter Robin’s men. 30 A fabric made in Kendal, Westmoreland.

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Robyn Hode Peradventure° they do so.

Perhaps

Fryer I gave the leve to blowe at thy wyll; Now give me leve to whistell my fyll. Robyn Hode Whystell, frere, evyl mote° thou fare! Untyl bothe thyne eyes starte.

may

Fryer Now Cut and Bause!31 Breng forth the clubbes and staves, And downe with those ragged knaves.32 Robyn Hode How sayeth thou, frere, wylt thou be my man, To do me the best servyse thou can? Thou shalt have both golde and fee. And also here is a lady free:33 I wyll geve her unto the, And her chapplayn I the make To serve her for my sake. Fryer Here is an huckle duckle, An inch above the buckle.34 She is a trul of trust,35 To serve a frier at his lust, A prycker,° a prauncer,° a terer of shetes, A wagger of ballockes° when other men slepes. Go home, ye knaves, and lay crabbes° in the fyre,

31

provoker / rider testicles crab-apples

Addressing his two men, who have just entered. They all fight. 33 It has been suggested that this is Maid Marian of the May game morris dances, who now enters. 34 Meaning unclear, but definitely meant to convey a bawdy innuendo. “Huckle” means the hip or haunch. 35 That is, a trollop who will fulfil her duties. 32

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Gestes of Robin Hood and Other Outlaws

For my lady and I wil daunce36 in the myre, For veri pure joye. * * * * * Robyn Hode37 Lysten to [me] my mery men all And harke what I shall say Of an adventure I shall you tell38 That befell this othere daye.39 With a proude potter I met; And a rose garlande on his head,40 The floures of it shone marvaylous freshe. This seven yere and more he hath used this waye, Yet was he never so curteyse a potter As one peny passage° to paye. Is there any of my mery men all That dare be so bolde To make the potter paie passage either silver or golde? Lytell John Not I, master, for twenty pound redy tolde.41 For there is not among us al one That dare medle° with that potter man for man. I felt his handes not long agone, But I had lever have ben here by the. Therefore I knowe what he is; Mete hem when ye wil or mete him whan ye shal He is as propre° a man as ever you medle[d] withal.

36

toll

engage in a fight

worthy

Probably a morris dance now begins involving all the players. This marks the beginning of the second play, Robin Hood and the Potter, without a break between them in the Copland edition. 38 This line, almost completely missing in the Copland edition, is from that of Edward White (c. 1590). 39 An almost identical opening to the previous play. 40 Probably included here, as has been suggested, to remind us that it is a May Day game. 41 That is, immediately counted out in payment. 37

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Robyn Hode I will lai° with the, Litel John, twenti pound so read,42 If I wyth that potter mete I wil make him pay passage, maugré his head.° Lyttell John I consente° therto, so eate I bread; If he pay passage, maugré his head, Twenti pound shall ye have of me for your mede.° The potters boye Jacke43 Out alas that ever I sawe this daye! For I am clene out of my waye From Notygham towne. If I hye° me not the faster, Or° I come there the market wel be done. Robyn Hode Let me se, are the pottes hole° and sounde?44

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bet against his will

agree reward (meed)

hurry, make haste Before

in good condition (whole)

Jacke Yea, meisiter, but they will not breake the ground. Robyn Hode I will them breke for the cuckold45 thi maister’s sake; And if they will breake the grounde, Thou shalt have thre pence for a pound. Jacke Out alas! What have ye done? If my maister come, he will breke your crown.° The Potter46 Why, thou horeson, art thou here yet? Thou shouldest have bene at market. 42

Red (the colour of gold). Enters with the departure of Robin’s men. 44 Robin throws a pot on the ground, breaking it, followed by others. 45 A derisive name for the husband of an unfaithful wife. 46 Enters, not fully grasping the situation. 43

head

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Gestes of Robin Hood and Other Outlaws

Jacke I met with Robin Hode, a good yeman; He hath broken my pottes, And called you kuckolde by your name. The Potter Thou mayst be a gentlyman, so God me save, But thou semest a noughty° knave. worthless, nasty (naughty) Thou callest me cuckolde by my name, And I swere by God and Saynt John, Wyfe had I never none: This cannot I denye. But if thou be a good felowe, I wil sel mi horse, mi harneis, pottes and paniers to, Thou shalt have the one halfe, and I wil have the other. If thou be not so content, Thou shalt have stripes, if thou were my brother. Robyn Hode Harke, potter, what I shall say; This seven yere and more thou hast used this way, Yet were thou never so courteous to me As one penny passage to paye. The Potter Why should I paye passage to thee? Robyn Hode For I am Roby Hode, chiefe governoure Under the grene woode tree. The Potter This seven yere have I used this way up and downe, Yet payed I passage to no man; Nor now I wyl not beginne, to do the worst thou can. Robyn Hode Passage shalt thou pai, here under the grene wode tre, Or els thou shalt leve a wedded° with me. forfeit, pledge (wed)

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The Potter If thou be a good felowe, as men do the call, Laye awaye thy bowe, And take thy sword and buckeler in thy hande, And se what shall befall. Robyn Hode Lyttle John, where art thou? Lytell [John] Here, mayster, I make God avowe. I told you, mayster, so God me save, That you should fynde the potter a knave. Holde your buckeler [fast in your hand],47 And I wyll styfly° by you stande, Ready for to fyghte; Be the knave never so stoute, I shall rappe him on the snoute, And put hym to flyghte.

steadfastly, resolutely (stiffly)

Thus endeth the play of Robyn Hode. Imprinted at London upon the Crane wharf by Wyllyam Copland.

From Adam Bell, Clim of the Clough, and William of Cloudesly48 FYTTE I Mery it was in grene forest, Amonge the leves grene, Where that men walke both east and west, Wyth bowes and arrowes kene,

47

The missing half line is from the White edition. Although there are fragments of the ballad extant from the reign of Henry VIII, the earliest surviving complete edition was that printed by William Copland c. 1560, with the title Adambel, Clym of the Cloughe, and Wyllyam of Cloudesle. It is the one reproduced here, though omitting the third fytte (or fit, fitt, etc.) and with some emendations from other early editions. 48

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Gestes of Robin Hood and Other Outlaws

To ryse° the dere out of theyr denne; Suche sightes as hath ofte bene sene, As by the yemen49 of the north countrey, By them it is as I meane.° The one of them hight° Adam Bel, The other Clym of the Clough, The thyrd was William of Cloudesly, An archer good ynough.° They were outlawed for venyson,50 These thre yemen everechone;° They swore them brethen° upon a day, To Englysshe wood51 for to gone.

mean to recount was called

as good as could be

everyone brothers (brethren)

Now lith° and lysten, gentylmen, And that of myrthes° loveth to here: Two of them were single men, The third had a wedded fere.°

companion, wife

Wyllyam was the wedded man, Muche more then was hys care: He sayde to hys brethen upon a day, To Carelel52 he would fare,°

go

For to speke with fayre Alse53 hys wife, And with hys chyldren thre: By my trouth,° sayde Adam Bel, Not by the counsell of me. For if ye go to Caerlel, brother, And from thys wylde wode wende,° If the justice mai you take, Your lyfe were at an ende. 49

rouse

attend merry tales

In truth

depart

A countryman of some standing (yeoman). That is, for poaching deer (venison). 51 Inglewood, a Cumberland forest stretching from Penrith to Carlisle, then famous for its hunting. 52 Carlisle. Historically the county town of Cumberland, in north-west England, ten miles south of the Scottish border. 53 Elsewhere Alyce or Alice. 50

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If that I come not to morowe, brother, By pryme° to you agayne, Truste not els but that I am take,° Or else that I am slayne. He toke hys leave of hys brethen two, And to Carlel he is gone; There he knocked at hys owne wyndowe, Shortlye and anone.° Wher be you, fayre Alyce my wyfe, And my chyldren three? Lyghtly° let in thyne husbande, Wyllyam of Cloudeslé. Alas! then sayde fayre Alyce, And syghed wonderous sore,° Thys place hath ben besette for you° Thys halfe yere and more.

55

sunrise captured

at once

Quickly

very sadly besieged because of you

Now am I here, sayde Cloudeslé, I woulde that I in were; Now feche us meate and drynke ynoughe, And let us make good chere. She feched him meat and drynke plenty, Lyke a true wedded wyfe, And pleased hym with that she had, Whome she loved as her lyfe. There lay an old wyfe° in that place, A lytle besyde the fyre, Whych Wyllyam had found, of cherytye,° More then seven yere. Up she rose, and walked full styll,° Evel mote° she spede° therefoore! For she had not set no fote° on ground In seven yere before.

woman provided for out of charity

quietly, stealthily must / carry out (speed) foot

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Gestes of Robin Hood and Other Outlaws

She went unto the justice hall, As fast as she could hye:° Thys nyght is come unto thys town Wyllyam of Cloudeslé.

go

Thereof the justice was full fayne,° And so was the shirife also: Thou shalt not travaile hether,° dame, for nought; Thy meed° thou shalt have or° thou go.

glad, pleased come hither reward / before

They gave to her a ryght good goune, Of scarlat it was, as I heard saye; She toke the gyft, and home she wente, And couched her doune agayne. They rysed the towne of mery Carlel, In all the hast that they can, And came thronging to Wyllyames house, As fast [as] they might gone. Theyr they besette° that good yeman, Round about on every syde; Wyllyam hearde great noyse of folkes, That heytherward [they] hyed.

assailed, surrounded (beset)

Alyce opened a shot wyndow,° And loked all about; She was ware of° the justice and the shrife bothe, Wyth a full great route.°

window with shutters

Alas! treason,° cryed Alyce, Ever wo° may thou be! Go into my chambre,° my husband, she sayd, Swete Wyllyam of Cloudeslé.

treachery Forever cursed a private upper room

He toke hys sweard and hys bucler,° Hys bow and hys chyldren thre, And wente into hys strongest chamber, Where he thought surest° to be.

recognized company, crowd

small, round shield (buckler)

safest

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Fayre Alice folowed him as a lover true, With a pollaxe° in her hande: battle-axe, used for close fighting He shalbe deade that here commeth in Thys dore, whyle I may stand. Cloudeslé bent a wel good bowe, That was of trusty° tre, He smot the justice on the brest, That hys arrowe brest° in thre.

sturdy splintered (burst)

God’s curse on his hartt, saide William, Thys day thy cote dyd on;° If it had ben no better than myne,54 It had gone nere thy bone.

coat put on

Yelde the, Cloudeslé, sayd the justise, And thy bowe and thy arrowes the fro.55 Gods curse on hys hart, sayde fair Alice, That my husband councelleth so. Set fyre on the house, saide the sherife, Syth° it wyll no better be, And brenne° we therin William, he saide, Hys wyfe and chyldren thre. They fyred the house in many a place, The fyre flew upon hye; Alas! than° cryed fayr Alice, I se we shall here dy. William openyd hys backe wyndow, That was in hys chambre on hye, And wyth shetes let hys wife downe, And hys chyldren thre. Have here my treasure, sayde William, My wyfe and chyldren thre;

54 55

That is, if it had not been better than his coat. That is, give up your bow and arrows also.

Since burn

then (often used interchangeably)

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Gestes of Robin Hood and Other Outlaws

For Christes love do them no harme, But wreke you all on me. Wyllyam shot so wonderous well, Tyll hys arrowes were all gon, And the fyre so fast upon hym fell, That hys bow stryng brent° in two.

burned

The spercles° brent and fell hym on, Good Wyllyam of Cloudeslé; But than was he a wofull man and sayde, Thys is a cowardes death to me.

embers (sparks)

Lever° I had, sayde Wyllyam, With my sworde in the route to renne,° Then here among myne ennemyes wode° Thus cruelly to bren.°

Rather run fury, rage burn

He toke hys sweard and hys buckler, And among them all he ran; Where the people were most in prece,° He smot downe many a man. There myght no man stand hys stroke, So fersly on them he ran; Then they threw wyndowes and dores on him, And so toke that good yeman. There they hym bounde both hand and fote, And in depe dongeon hym cast; Now, Cloudeslé, sayde the hye justice, Thou shalt be hanged in hast. One vow shal I make, sayde the sherife, A payre of new galowes shall I for the make, And al the gates of Caerlel shalbe shutte, There shall no man come in therat. Then shall not helpe Clim of the Cloughe, Nor yet Adam Bell,

crowded together

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Though they came with a thousand mo,° Nor all the devils in hell. Early in the mornyng the justice uprose, To the gates fast gan he gon,° And commaunded to be shut full cloce Lightlie everychone.° Then went he to the market-place, As fast as he coulde hye; A payre of new gallous there dyd he up set, Besyde the pyllory.°

59 more

did he go Quickly everyone

stocks (pillory)

A lytle boy stod them amonge, And asked what meaned that gallow-tre; They sayde, To hange a good yeaman, Called Wyllyam of Cloudeslé. That lytle boye was the towne swyne-heard,° And kept there [fayre] Alyce swyne; Full oft he had sene Cloudeslé in the wodde, And geven hym there to dyne.° He went out of a creves° in the wall, And lightly to the woode dyd gone; There met he with these wyght56 yonge men, Shortly and anone. Alas! then sayde that lytle boye, Ye tary° here all to longe; Cloudeslé is taken and dampned° to death, All readye for to honge.° Alas! then sayde good Adam Bell, That ever we see thys daye! He myght her with us have dwelled, So ofte as we dyd him praye.

56

Strong and courageous (wight).

swineherd

given him food gap (crevice)

linger condemned hang

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Gestes of Robin Hood and Other Outlaws

He myght have taryed in grene foreste, Under the shadowes sheene,° And have kepte both hym and us in reste,° Out of trouble and teene.° Adam bent a ryght good bow, A great hart° sone had he slayne; Take that, chylde, he sayde, to thy dynner, And bryng me myne arrowe agayne. Now go we hence, sayed these wight yong men, Tary we no lenger here; We shall hym borowe,° by Gods grace, Though we bye it full dere.° To Caerlel went these good yemen, In a mery mornyng of Maye: Her is a fyt of Cloudesli, And another is for to saye.°

lovely in peace (rest) harm

male deer, stag

rescue pay for it dearly

tell

FYTTE II And when they came to mery Caerlell, In a fayre mornyng tyde,° They founde the gates shut them untyll,° Round about on every syde.

time against them

Alas! than sayd good Adam Bell, That ever we were made men! These gates be shyt so wonderly well, That we may not come herein. Than spake Clymme of Cloughe: With a wyle° we wyll us in brynge; Let us say we be messengers, Streyght comen from oure kynge. Adam sayd, I have a lettre wryten wele, Now let us wysely° werke;

stratagem, ruse

cunningly

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We wyll say we have the kynges seale, I holde° the porter no clerke.°

believe / unable to read

Than Adam Bell bete on the gate, With strokes greate and stronge; The porter herde suche a noyse therate, And to the gate he thronge.°

hastened

Who is there nowe, sayde the porter, That maketh all this knockynge? We be messengers, sayde Clymme of the Clough, Be come ryght frome our kynge. We have a letter, sayd Adam Bell, To the justyce we must it brynge Let us in oure messag to do, That we were agayne to our kyng. Here cometh none in, sayd the porter, By Hym that dyed on a tre,° By Christ who was crucified (oath) Tyll a false thefe be hanged, Called Wyllyam of Cloudeslé. Than spake that good yeman, Clym of the Cloughe, And swore by Mary fre,° If that we stande long wythout, Lyke a thefe hanged shalt thou be.

gracious, fair

Lo! here we have the kynges seale; What, lordane,° art thou wode?° The porter had wende° it had been so, And lyghtly dyd of hys hode.°

fool, dolt / mad thought quickly took off his hood

Welcome be my lordes seale, sayd he, For that shall ye come in. He opened the gate ryght shortly, An evyl° openynge for hym!

disastrous

Now are we in, sayde Adam Bell, Whereof we are full fayne;

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Gestes of Robin Hood and Other Outlaws

But Cryst knoweth that herowed hell,57 How we shall come oute agayne. Had we the keys, sayd Clym of Clowgh, Ryght well than sholde we spede;° Than myght we come out well ynough, Whan we se tyme and nede. They called the porter to a councell, And wronge hys necke in two, And kest° hym in a depe dongeon, And toke the keys hym fro.

fare well, succeed

cast

Now am I porter, sayd Adam Bell; Se, broder, the keys have we here; The worste porter to mery Carlell, That ye had this hondreth yere. Now wyll we our bowes bende, Into the towne wyll we go, For to delyver our dere broder, Where he lyeth in care and wo. They bent theyr bowes, And loked theyr stringes were round;° The market-place of mery Carlyll, They beset in that stounde.° And as they loked them besyde,° A payre of newe galowes there they se, And the justyce, with a quest° of swerers,° That had juged Clowdyslé there hanged to be. And Clowdyslé hymselfe lay redy in a carte, Fast bounde bothe fote and hande, And a stronge rope aboute his necke, All redy for to be hangde.

57

Christ was called “the harrower (spoiler) of hell.”

properly set a moment later close by (beside) inquest / jurors

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The justyce called to hym a ladde; Clowdysles clothes sholde he have, To take the mesure of that good yoman, And therafter to make his grave. I have sene as greate a merveyll,° sayd Clowdyslé, As bytwene this and pryme,° He that maketh thys grave for me, Hymselfe may lye therin. Thou spekest proudely, sayd the justyce, I shall hange the with my hande. Full well that herde his bretheren two, There styll° as they dyd stande. Than Clowdyslé cast hys eyen asyde, And sawe hys bretheren stande, At a corner of the market place, With theyr good bowes bent in theyr hand, Redy the justyce for to chase.° I se good comforte, sayd Clowdyslé, Yet hope I well to fare; If I myght have my handes at wyll,° Ryght lytell wolde I care. Than bespake good Adam Bell, To Clymme of the Clowgh so fre;° Broder, see ye marke the justyce well; Lo yonder ye may him se. And at the sheryf shote I wyll, Strongly with an arowe kene.° A better shotte in mery Carlyll, Thys seven yere was not sene. They loused° theyr arowes bothe at ones,° Of no man had they drede;° The one hyt the justyce, the other the sheryf, That bothe theyr sydes gan° blede.

marvel, wonder sunrise

silent

pursue and attack

free

noble (stock epithet)

sharp

released (loosed) / at once fear did

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Gestes of Robin Hood and Other Outlaws

All men voyded° that them stode nye,° Whan the justyce fell to the grounde, And the sheryf fell nyghe hym by; Eyther° had his dethes wounde. All the citezens fast gan fle, They durst no lenger abyde;° There lyghtly they loused° Clowdyslé, Where he with ropes lay tyde. Wyllyam sterte to° an offycer of the towne, Hys axe out of his hande he wronge;° On eche syde he smote them downe, Hym thought he had taryed to longe.

moved away, withdrew / near (nigh) Each

remain set free

rushed at, attacked wrenched

Wyllyam sayd to his bretheren two, Thys daye let us togyder lyve and deye; If ever you have nede as I have nowe, The same shall ye fynde by me. They shyt so well in that tyde, For theyr strynges were of sylke full sure, That they kepte the stretes° on every syde; That batayll dyd longe endure.

held the streets

They fought togyder as bretheren true, Lyke hardy men and bolde; Many a man to the grounde they threwe, And made many an herte colde. But whan theyr arowes were all gone, Men presyd on them full fast, They drewe theyr swerdes than anone, And theyr bowes from them caste. They went lyghtly on theyr waye, With swerdes and buckelers rounde, By that° it was the myddes of the daye, They had made many a wounde.

then

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There was many an oute-horne58 in Carlyll blowen, And the belles backwarde dyd they rynge;59 Many a woman sayd Alas, And many theyr handes dyd wrynge. The mayre of Carlyll forth come was, And with hym a full grete route; These thre yomen dredde hym full sore, For theyr lyves stode in doubt. The mayre came armed a full great pace, With a pollaxe in hys hande; Many a stronge man with hym was, There in that stoure° to stande. The mayre smote at Clowdyslé with his byll,° Hys buckeler he brast° in two; Full many a yoman with grete yll,° Alas, treason! they cryed for wo. Kepe we the gates fast, they bad,° That these traytours theroute not go. But all for nought was that they wrought, For so fast they downe were layed Tyll they all thre, that so manfully fought, Were goten without at a brayed.° Have here your keys, sayd Adam Bell, Myne offyce I here forsake;° Yf ye do by my councell, A newe porter ye make. He threwe the keys there at theyr hedes, And bad them evyll to thryve, And all that letteth° ony good yoman To come and comforte his wyve.

58 59

That is, a horn blown to call out the inhabitants of the town. Reversing the common order as a signal of alarm or danger.

contest, fight pollaxe split harm ordered

very shortly

give up

hinder

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Gestes of Robin Hood and Other Outlaws

Thus be these good yomen gone to the wode, As lyght as lefe on lynde;° They laughe and be mery in theyr mode,° Theyr enemyes were farre behynde. Whan they came to Inglyswode,° Under theyr trysty-tre,° There they founde bowes full gode, And arowes full great plenté.

as leaves on a linden tree fashion

Inglewood Forest meeting place (trysting tree)

So help me God, sayd Adam Bell, And Clymme of the Clowgh so fre, I wolde we were nowe in mery Carlell, Before that fayre meyné.°

company, multitude

They set them downe and made good chere, And eate and dranke full well: Here is a fytte of these wyght yonge men, And another I shall you tell.60 Imprinted at London in Lothburye by Wyllyam Copland.

60

A third and final fytte begins with the three outlaws attempting to gain a pardon from the king, but it soon develops into an adaptation of the medieval legend of William Tell, who split the apple on his son’s head with an arrow.

RELIGIOUS DISSENSION AND SUPERSTITION

The European Reformation (generally considered as beginning in Germany with Martin Luther’s protests in 1517) saw a shift in religious dominance from Roman Catholicism to Protestantism. Across English society this caused passionate disagreement, confusion and bloodshed. Poets like Chaucer and Langland had long before attacked ecclesiastical laxity and materialism, but King Henry VIII’s breach with Rome in 1533 over a divorce issue split his nation down the middle. Though he himself hated the new religion, and actively persecuted its supporters, he beheaded leading Catholics like John Fisher and Thomas More who opposed his plans to divorce his first wife Catherine. As contemporary literature shows, a period of violent religious strife erupted, in which beheadings, burnings at the stake and disembowelling became regular public spectacles, with both Protestants and Catholics enthusiastically executing one another in defence of their faith. Henry’s behaviour, including his destruction of the monasteries, certainly drew support from large sections of the population, who genuinely hated Rome, wanted English instead of Latin prayers, and were cultivating international ambitions. However, though fiercely anti-Pope and pro-royal literature was popular, in many country parishes a love of the old religion lingered on. The Reformation was less a complete break from Catholicism than a purifying of it— Catholicism with an English flavour and (enhanced) moral strength. Such matters as the liturgical year, the centrality of the Eucharist, and clerical ranks—even the priestly vestments of cope, alb and mitre—remained largely unchanged. Meanwhile, there were dire penalties for those who crossed the line from orthodox religion into superstition and necromancy. Belief in witches, charms, spells, ghosts, demons, and magic characterized English society at this time; so too a fascination with anything that seemed sensational or unnatural, such as monstrous babies and lunar eclipses, frequently presented as God’s warning to a sinful mankind. The concern about witches, seen here in the mob killing of Doctor Lambe (called a devil and the Duke of Buckingham’s “wizard”), and the arraignment, forced confession and hanging of Joan Cunny, a poor widow of eighty, reflects an obsession in the national psyche. At the same time, often arising from a distant pagan past, charms, spells, curses and satanic invocations were used for all

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Religious Dissension and Superstition

manner of purposes—benign or otherwise—such as making the crops grow, safe delivery in childbirth, curing diarrhœa, protecting against the plague, harming one’s enemies.

The True Description of Two Monsterous Children1 I read how Affrique land was fraught for° their most filthy life, With monstrous shapes, confuzedly° that therin wer full rife. But England now pursues their vyle and detestable path, Embracyng eke° all mischeefs great that moves Gods mightie wrath.

because of bewilderingly

also

As these unnaturall shapes and formes, thus brought forth in our dayes: Are tokens true and manifest, how God by dyvers wayes: Doth styrre° us to amendment of our vyle and cankred lyfe: Which to to much abused is, in man, in chylde, and wyfe.

stir, provoke, encourage

We wallow so in filthie sin, and naught at all regarde: 1

Birth defects (or what were then called “monstrous births”), along with other abnormalities in humans and nature, were an especially popular subject for ballads at this time, usually accompanied by one or more shocking woodcuts. In this case, it is a single large image of the conjoined twins, who are facing one another in an embrace. The sub-title reads: Laufully Begotten Betwene George Steuens and Margerie His Wyfe, and Borne in the Parish of Swanburne in Buckynghamshyre the iiij [fourth]. of Aprill. Anno Domini. 1566. the Two Children Hauing Both Their Belies Fast Ioyned Together, and Imbracying One Another with Their Armes: which Children Wer Both Alyue by the Space of Half an Hower, and Wer Baptized, and Named the One John, and the Other Joan.

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Nor wyll not feare the threats of God tyll we for iust rewarde: Be overwhelmd with mischeefs° great, which ready bent° for us Full long ago decreed wer, as Scriptures doth discus.2

misfortunes were already determined

Both tender babes and eke brute beastes3 in shape disfourmed bee; Full manie wayes He plagues the earth, as dayly we may see. Thus mightie Ioue,° to pearce our harts these tokens straunge doth send, To call us from our filthie lyfe, our wicked wayes t’amend. And thus by these two children here,4 forewarnes both man and wyfe: How both estates° ought to bewayle, their vile and wretched lyfe. For sure we all may be agast, to see these shapes unkynd:° And tremblyng feare may pearce our harts our God to have in mynd.

God (Jove)

manhood and womanhood

physically unnatural

For yf we printed in our brest, these signes and tokens straunge: Wold make us from our sinnes to shrinke our lives anew to chaunge. But° some proude boastyng Pharisie,5 the parents wyll detect:° 2

Except for discover

Perhaps a reference to Cain, marked by God for killing his brother Abel (Genesis 4:2). 3 There were also ballads about monstrous animals, such as The Description of a Monstrous Pig, the Which Was Farrowed at Hamsted Besyde London (1562). 4 That is, as presented in the accompanying woodcut. 5 A self-righteous hypocrite (biblical).

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Religious Dissension and Superstition

And iudge with heapes of uglie vice their lives to be infect. No, no, but lessons for us all, which dayly doe offend: Yea more perhaps, then hath the freends, whom God this birth did lend. For yf you wyll with single eye, note well and view the text: And marke our Saviours aunswer eke, that thereto is annext,°

attached as a consequence

Where his disciples asked him, to know therein his mynd, Yf greatter wer the parents sinnes, or his that was borne blynd.6 To whom Christ aunswered in a breef, that neither hee nor they Deserved had that crooked fate, although they sin each day. But to the end Gods glorie great, and miracles divine: Might on the earth apparaunt be, his workes for to define.° Such lyke examples moved me, in these forgetfull° dayes; To rue our state that us among, vice beares such swings and swayes. Wherein the goodnesse great of God we way and set so light: By such examples callyng us, from sin both day and night.

6

Gospel of John 9:1-11.

set forth, declare

heedless

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Where we doe runne at random° wyde, our selves flatteryng styll: And blazying others faults and crimes, yet we our selves most yll.

71 aimlessly

But if we doe consider right, and in even balaunce way: The ruine great of hartie love, among us at this day: And well behyld° with inward eyes, th’embracyng of these twinnes: That God by them upbraides us for our false discemblyng sinnes.

behold

We would with Ninivie7 repent our former passed yeares, Bewaylyng eke our secret sinnes in sackecloth8 and in teares. Therfore in time° amend your state, and call to God for grace,— Bewayle your former lyfe and sinnes, while you have time and space.

soon

Finis, quod9 John Mellys Nor. Imprinted at London by Alexander Lacy, for William Lewes, dwellyng in Cow Lane, aboue Holborne Cundit, over against the signe of the Plough.

7 Nineveh’s repentance and salvation are noted in the gospels of Matthew (12:41) and Luke (11:32). 8 A coarse garment worn as a symbol of mourning or penitence (sackcloth). 9 “Quod” (quoth or said) was sometimes used at the end of a piece to introduce the name of the author.

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A True and Most Dreadfull Discourse of a Woman Possessed with the Deuill10 To the Reader Beloved and curtious reader, we have to consider by this strange discourse, how redy Sathan is to take hold on us if we fall from God never so little. He cǂtinually runneth up and downe seeking whom he may devour:11 But notwithstandyng his temptations which are great, the mercie of God is greater, who never faileth to send comfort in temptation, if we accept thereof. Great are the examples, both of Gods mercy and might, to put us in remembrance of our sinnes which are infinite and lothsome, wherein if we continue, let us undoubtedly looke for the reward thereof, which is an everlasting destruction both of bodie and soule. Let not this which is here declared seeme a fained fable12 unto thee, but assure thy selfe that all such thinges are sent as warnignes for our wickednesse: and to put us in mynd of the state of our salvation, which is an assured faith in Christ Iesus: from which piller if wee once shrinke, the Tempter is redie to drive us in to dispaier of Gods mercie. Many are the woonders which hath lately happened, as of suddaine and straunge death upon periured persons, straunge sights in the aier, straunge birthes on the earth: earth quakes, commetts and fiery impressions,13 and all to put us in mynde of God, whose woorkes are wonderfull. Remember the late storme of haylstones in which many thinges were slaine and beaten to the ground, which hailestones were equall in greatnesse to a goose egge, of eight inches about.

10

The sub-title reads: Who in the Likenesse of a Headlesse Beare Fetched Her Out of Her Bedd, and in the Presence of Seuen Persons, Most Strangely Roulled Her ThorowThree Chambers, and Doune a High Paire of Staiers, on the Fower and Twentie of May Last. 1584. At Dichet in Sommersetshire. A Matter as Miraculous as Euer Was Seen in Our Time. (Imprinted at London [by J. Kingston] for Thomas Nelson.) 11 “Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking some one to devour” (1 Peter 5:8). 12 A fictitious story (feigned). 13 Meteors, comets and the like.

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These and suche like examples (good reader) warneth us to be watchfull for the day of the Lorde14 which is at hand, least sodainly his wrath be kindled against us. Let us therefore pray to almightie God to hold backe his rod, to be mercifull to us, and to forgive us all that is past: that through the assistaunce of his spirite, we maie with penitent hartes live in his feare to our lives ende. Finis. Straunge Newes Out of Sommersetshire.15 Upon the nineth day of May last past anno. 1584. there was a yeoman16 of honest reputation, dwelling in the towne of Dichet, which is within three miles of Bruton (the most auncient towne within Sǀmerset shire) whose name is Stephen Cooper (a man of good wealth and well beloved of his neighbours:) who being sicke, and lying in a weake state, sent his wife (whose name was Margeret Cooper) uppon the nineth daie of Maie last past into Gloster-shire,17 to take order18 concerning a farme whiche he hath in a villedge called Rockhampton, alias Rockington, at whose comming thether, it seemed all things were not according to her minde. Thus continuing there one daie and something more, she returned home to her husbande, partly aggreeved at suche thinges as she thought her husbande might reforme if God lent him life. Now when she was come home againe to Dichet, she founde her husband recovered to an indifferent health: to whom she began to use very muche idle19 talke, as well concerning the same farme, as also concerning an old groate20 which her sonne (being a little boy) had found abought one weeke before. Thus she continued (as it were one that had been bewitched or hafted21 with some evill spirite) untill 14 The doctrine of the “Judgment Day” or the “Final Judgment” is drawn from passages in both the Hebrew Bible (Old Testament) and the New Testament. 15 Somerset is a rural county in south-western England, partly bounded to the north and west by the Bristol Channel and the estuary of the River Severn. 16 A commoner or countryman of respectable standing, under the rank of a gentleman. 17 Gloucestershire is a county bordering on Somerset, to its north east, comprising part of the River Severn valley. 18 To take measures or steps, to make arrangements. 19 Senseless, foolish, incoherent (i.e. as if not completely in her right mind). 20 First coined in the mid-fourteenth century, the groat’s value progressively decreased until it ceased to be issued for circulation in 1662. Hence it was commonly referred to as something of little or no worth. 21 Deceived, tricked.

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Tuesdaie at night following, whiche night she tooke her rest something indifferently untill towardes the morning: at whiche time she began with much vaine22 speech to disquiet23 her husbande, and to use much idle talke: But her husbande seeing her in such a minde, and finding that she was as it were one that were desperate, he perswaded her to call uppon God, and that being the creature of God she should not forget to call uppon her Creator in the daie of trouble: wherefore he counselled her to praie with him, and to saie the Lordes Prayer24 after him, whiche she partly did: But the Devill who alwaie doth builde his chappell so neere as hee maie vexe Gods church, began to withdraw her from prayer, and put her in minde to call in most fearfull sorte for the groate which her sonne had lately founde, as also for her wedding ring, desiring to see them with all speede: Her husbande made no great hast thereunto, but continued in praier, that it would please God to sende her a more quiet spirite, and to strengthen her, that faithe might speedely vanquishe such vanitie in her. But the more he praied and perswaded her to praier, the more she seemed to bee as it were troubled with some evill spirite, calling still for the olde groate whiche her husbande neglected25 to shew her: whereat she began with a very sterne and staring countenaunce to looke on her husbande in most wonderfull sorte, as that he was sorefrighted with the same. ThƝ he called for her sister, for that he was not able to keepe her in the bed: which when her sister and other[s] were come into the chamber, they kept her downe violently in ye26 bed: and forthwith she was so sore tormented that she fomed at the mouth, and was shakƝ with suche force that the bedd and the chamber did shake and move in most straunge sorte: her husbande continued praying for her deliveraunce: so that within one halfe hower after her shaking was left, she began to tell them that she had been in the toune to beat awaie the beare whiche followed her into the yarde when she came out of the countrie, which to her thinking had no hed.27 Then her husbande and freendes perswaded her to leave those vaine imaginations, perswading her that it was nothing but the lightnesse of her braine whiche was become idle for want of rest. Wherfore her husband and freendes perswaded her to saie the Lordes Praier with them, which she did, and after tooke some small rest: and thus she remained untill the Sunday 22

Senseless, inane. Disturb, trouble. 24 A central prayer in Christianity, also commonly known as the “Our Father” and, in Latin, as the “Pater Noster.” 25 Failed. 26 The. 27 Head. 23

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following: in which time she continued raging as it were bestraught28 of her memorie, whiche came by fittes, to the greate greefe of her husbande, freendes and neighbeurs. Uppon the Saturdaie following there was good hope of her recoverie, for that she in the night before had taken some reasonable rest: her freendes and neighbours came to comforte her, yet sometime she would talke somewhat idely to them, which came by small fittes. And uppon the Sundaie she seemed very patient and confirmable29 to reason, untill midnight: at which time the candle which was set up burning in the same chamber was burned out:30 She then suddenly waking called to her husbande and cryed out, saying, that she did see a straunge thing like unto a snaile, carrying fire in the most wonderful sort: whereat her husbande was amazed: and seeing the candle was cleane burnt out, called to his brother and her sister (whiche were in house with other of their freendes watching and sitting up, to comfort her if her extreame fitt should any way molest31 her) who hearing her husbande call, came in and brought a candle lighted and set it on the table, which stood neere where the woman laie: She began then to ware32 as one very fearefull, saying to her husbande and the rest, doe you not see the Devill: whereat they desired her to remember God and to cal for grace, that her faith might bee onely fixed uppon him to the vanquishing of the Devill, and his assaults. Well (quoth she) if you see nothing now, you shall see something by and by: and forthwith they heard a noise in the streete as it had been the cǀming of two or three carts, and presently they in the chamber cried out saying: Lord helpe us what maner of thing is this that commeth here. Then her husbande looking up in his bedd espied a thing come to the bedd muche like unto a beare, but it had no head nor taile, halfe a yarde in length and halfe a yarde in height: her husbande seeing it come up to the bed, rose up and tooke a ioyned stoole33 and stroke at the saied thing, the stroke sounded as though he had stroken uppon a featherbedd: then it came to the woman and stroke her three times upon the feete, and tooke her out of the bed, and so roulled her to and fro in the chamber, and under the bed: The people there present to the number of seven persons were so greatly 28

Distracted, distraught. Formerly often confused with “conformable,” meaning here “tractable” or “disposed” (to reason). 30 The presence of evil, sometimes in the form of the Devil himself, is traditionally marked by candles suddenly flickering and burning low or being extinguished altogether. 31 Trouble, afflict. 32 To be on guard, to take care. 33 A stool (sometimes called a “joint-stool”) made of parts fitted or joined together. 29

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amazed with this horrible sight, that they knewe not what to doe, yet they called still upon God for his assistaunce: but the candle was so dimme that they could scarsly see one another. At the last this monster whiche we suppose to be the Devill, did thrust the womans hed betwixt her legges, and so roulled her in a rounde compasse like a hoope through three other chambers downe an high paire of staires in the hall, where he kept her the space of a quarter of an hower: Her husbande and they in the chamber above durst not come downe to her, but remained in praier weeping at the staiers head, greevously lamenting to see her so caried away. There was suche an horrible stincke in the hall, and suche fierie flames, that they were glad to stoppe their noses with cloathes and napkins.34 Then the woman cried out calling to her husbande, now he is gone: then (quoth he) in the name of God come up to me, and so even upon the suddaine35 she was come so quickly that they greatly marveiled at it. Then they brought her to bedd, and fower of them kept downe the cloathes about the bedd, and continued in praier for her. The candle in the chamber could not burne cleere but was very dimme, and suddenly the woman was got out of the bed, and the windowe at the beds hed opened, whether the woman did unpin the windowe, or how it came to passe they knewe not, but it was opened, and the womans legges after a marveilous maner thrust out at the windowe, so that they were clasped about the post in the middle of the windowe betweene her legges: The people in the chamber heard a thing knocke at her feete as it had been upon a tubbe, and they sawe a great fire as it seemed to them at her feete, the stincke whereof was horrible: The sorrowfull husbande and his brother imboldened themselves in the Lorde, and did charge the Devill in the name of the Father, the Sonne, and the Holy Ghost,36 to departe from her and to trouble her no more: then they laied handes on her and cried to the Lorde to helpe them in that their greate neede, and so pulde her in againe and set her uppon her feete: Then she looked out at a window and began to saie: O Lord (quoth she) me thinke I see a little childe, but they gave no regard37 to her: These wordes she spake two or three times: so at the last they all looked out at the windowe: and loe they espied a thing like unto a little child with a very bright shining countenaunce, casting a greate light in the chamber, and then the candle burned very brightly, so that they might one see an other: 34

Small pieces of linen or other cloth used for various purposes, perhaps here as a towel. 35 Suddenly and without warning. 36 For the majority of Christians, these are the three divine persons of the Holy Trinity, each person being God. 37 Took no notice, paid no heed.

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then fell they flat to the grounde and praised the Lorde that he had so wonderfully assisted them, and so the child vanished awaie. Then the woman beeing in some better feeling of herself was laied in her bedd, and she asked forgivenesse at Gods handes, and of all that she had offended, acknowledging that it was for her sinnes that she was so tormented of the evill spirite. And so God bethanked she hath ever since beene in some reasonable order, for there hath beene with her many godly learned men, as M[a]ister Doctor Cottington, parson of the same towne, and Maister Nicholles preacher of Bruton, with other cheefe preachers from divers places of the country. FINIS. [ornament] These be the names of the witnesses, that this is most true. Steven Cooper. Iohn Cooper. Ales Easton. Iohn Tomson. Iohn Anderton. Myles Foster. with divers others.

Tychbornes Elegie38 My prime of youth is but a frost of cares, My feast of ioy is but a dish of paine: My crop of corne is but a field of tares,° And al my good is but vayne hope of gaine 38

weeds

Chidiock Tichborne was born c. 1558 in Southampton into a Roman Catholic family of ancient lineage. In June 1586, he took part in a conspiracy to murder Queen Elizabeth and replace her with the Catholic Mary, Queen of Scots. The plot, which became known as the Babington Plot after one of its leaders, was foiled and, on August 14, Tichborne was arrested, then tried and sentenced to death. While in custody, he wrote a letter (below) to his wife Agnes containing this three-stanza lament, with a sub-title that reads: Written with His Owne Hand in the Tower Before His Execution. The next morning, with six other conspirators, he was hanged, drawn and quartered. The poem was first printed (with a few minor changes) later the same year in the Royalist compilation Verses of Prayse and Ioye Written vpon Her Maiesties Preseruation.

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The day is past, and yet I saw no sunne, And now I live, and now my life is done. My tale was heard, and yet it was not told, My fruite is falne, and yet my leaves are greene: My youth is spent, and yet I am not old, I saw the world, and yet I was not seene. My thred is cut, and yet it is not spunne, And now I live, and now my life is done. I sought my death, and found it in my wombe, I lookt for life, and saw it was a shade: I trod the earth, and knew it was my tombe, And now I die, and now I was but made. My glasse is full, and now my glasse° is runne, And now I live, and now my life is done.

hour glass

A Letter Written by Chidiock Tichborne to His Wife, the Night Before He Suffered39 The most loving wife alive I commend me to thee, and desire God to bless thee with all happiness. Pray for thy dead husband, and be of good comfort, for I hope in Jesus Christ this morning to see the face of my redeemer, in the most joyfull throne of his glorious kingdom. Commend me to all my friends, and desire them to pray for me, and in all charity to pardon me if I have offended them. Commend me to my six sisters, poor desolate souls: advise them to serve God, for without him, there is no goodness to be expected. Were it possible (dear wife) my little sister Bab:40 (the darling of my care) might be bred41 by thee; it were happy for her, and God would reward thee. But I have done thee (poor soul) too much wrong, I must needs confess it, to hasten my death, and impair42 thy estate by that I should add a further charge unto thee. Dearest wife forgive me, that have by these means so impoverished thy fortunes: patience and pardon good wife, I crave, make of these our necessities a virtue, and lay no further burthen on my neck, than is laid already.

39

For a brief historical account, see the footnote above. Diminutive of Barbara or Elizabeth. 41 Brought up, raised. 42 Worsen, make of less value. 40

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There be certain debts which I owe, and because I know not the order of the law, it hath taken all from me, as forfeited by the course of this my offence to Her Majesty. I cannot advise thee what to do herein, but if there fall out wherewithal:43 let them be discharged, sweet wife, for God’s sake: I will not that you trouble your self with the performance thereof (mine own heart), but make it known to my uncles, and desire them for the honour of God to do their best in it. Now (dear heart) what is left me to bestow on thee, a small jointure44 (God knows), a small recompence for thy deserving: these legacies following to be thine own: God of his infinite goodness and mercy, give thee always his grace to remain his true and most humble servant, that through the merits of his bitter and blessed passion, thou mayest become an inheritrix45 of his kingdom with the blessed women in heaven. Jesus give thee of his peace, and to his glory all the benefits of this transitory life. The Holy Ghost46 comfort thee with all necessaries for the wealth of thy soul in the world to come: where until it please almighty God I meet thee, farewell loving wife, farewell the dearest to me in all the earth: farewell for ever in this world: farewell. By the hand and the heart of thy most loving husband, Chidiock Tichborne.

43

Means, especially of a pecuniary nature. A wife’s provision in the event of her widowhood. 45 Female inheritor. 46 For most Christians, the Holy Ghost (or Holy Spirit) is the third divine person of the Holy Trinity, each person being God. 44

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Hendecasyllabon T. K. in Cygneam Cantionem Chidiochi Tychborne47 Thy prime of youth is frozen with thy faults, thy feast of joy is finisht with thy fall: Thy crop of corne is tares° availing naughts,° thy good God knowes, thy hope, thy hap° and all. Short were thy daies, and shadowed was thy sun, t’obscure thy light unluckelie begun. Time trieth trueth,° & trueth hath treason tript, thy faith bare fruit as thou hadst faithless beene: Thy ill spent youth thine after yeares hath nipt, and God that saw thee hath preserved our queen, Her thred still holds, thine perisht though unspun, and she shall live when traitors lives are done.

weeds / nothing fortune, lot

truth

Thou soughtest thy death, and found it in desert, thou look’dst for life, yet lewdlie° forc’d it fade: foolishly, wickedly Thou trodst the earth, and now on earth thou art, as men may wish thou never hadst beene made. Thy glorie and thy glasse° are timeless runne, hour glass and this, d[ear] Tychborne, hath thy treason done.

The Apprehension and Confession of Three Notorious Witches. Arreigned and by Iustice Condemned and Executed at Chelmes-forde, in the Countye of Essex, the 5. Day of Iulye, Last Past. 158948 47

This parody, in answer to Tychbornes Elegie, was also published in Verses of Prayse and Ioye (1586), variously attributed to Thomas Kyd and Thomas Knell. It was probably written in an attempt to assuage public outrage following the brutal execution of the conspirators, fourteen in all, who were hanged, drawn and quartered. Its title, in archaic English, means roughly “Chidiock Tychbourne’s SwanSong, by T. K., Written in Lines of Eleven Syllables.” The term “hendecasyllable” is sometimes used in English poetry to describe a line of iambic pentameter with an extra short syllable at the end. 48 In 1589 Joan Cunny and her two daughters, Avice and Margaret, were brought before the Summer Assizes (or county court) in Chelmsford, Essex, charged with witchcraft. However, in this anonymous pamphlet, appearing shortly after the trial,

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With the Manner of Their Divelish Practices and Keeping of Their Spirits, Whose Fourmes49 Are Heerin Truelye Proportioned.50 To the Reader. If we would call to remembrance the manifolde mercies and innumerable benefites which the Almightie hath and daily bestoweth upon us, in consideration thereof, we are bound to with-draw our filthy affections and naughty dispositions,51 from the use of such detestable dealinges, as both are detested of God, whose almighty commaundements forbiddeth them, and unto man, whose lawes are constituted to punish them as odious before the sight of God, whereon our earthly lawes groundeth and consisteth, and therfore used to punish or cut of52 such lewde53 or filthye offenders as by breaking the devine decrees of the Almightie, by the lawes of man deserves to be condemned: But such is the blindness of our estate, the naughtines54 of our affections, and the desire of our divelish apetites, that neither the commaundements of God, the lawes of our realm, the love of our neighbours, our owne welfare, or the fall of others can or may move us to consider how profitable it were for us to examine our lives, and to blemish55 such vices in us as both the lawes of God and man forbiddeth: For what can be more odious or abhominable unto God than the deprivation of his divine power, by yeelding our selves serviles56 unto Sathan for a little worldly wealth, or hatred we have to our neighbours, where we might rest the servantes, nay the sonnes of almighty God, who focus is on the mother’s crime and those of two other Essex witches, Joan Upney and Joan Prentice. In the end, all three were hanged together, but there is no mention here of the daughters’ fate. (In fact, Margaret was imprisoned and Avis was sentenced to death, but was reprieved because she was pregnant.) The sub-title reads: With the Manner of Their Diuelish Practices and Keeping of Their Spirits, Whose Fourmes Are Heerein Truelye Proportioned. (Imprinted at London for Edward Allde. 1589.) A single large woodcut depicts the three Essex witches hanged together (background), with Joan Prentice seated on a stool with her familiars about her (foreground). Parts of it are recreated and spaced throughout the text (see illustration above, p. xiv). 49 Shapes and nature. 50 Estimated, apportioned. 51 Passions and inclinations. 52 Off. 53 Wicked, evil (lewd). 54 Depravity, waywardness (naughtiness). 55 Diminish, lessen the attraction of. 56 Slaves.

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sent his only sonne to redeeme us from the servitude of bondage, and to bring us unto his blisse and eternall felicitie, which shall evermore remain perfect, which if we could consider, what Christian is so blinded with ignorance or overcome with the illusions of Sathan, but he would tremble to think upon the judgements of the Almightie pronounced against such offenders, or the lawes of the realme, which by justice decydeth them from their devilish practices and abhominations? The glory thereof, although it be secretly concealed and used, yet can it no long continue, because the Almighty will be no partaker of any such dealinges, nor the hart of any faithfull Christian conceale the secrets thereof: which for example I have heere published unto you the discourse of such divelish practices as have beene used by notorious witches, whose names and actions I have severally touched in the treatise following: with the manner of their accusations, taken and approved before both honorable and worshipfull Her Majesties justices, at the last assises holden at Chelmesford in the County of Essex, according to the copies both of the offendours confession by examination: and their accusations regestred. The araignement57 and execution of Joan Cunny of Stysted in the Countye of Essex widowe, of the age of fourescore yeeres, or therabouts, who was brought before Anthony Mildemay Esquire, the last day of March. 1589. In primis,58 this examinate saith and confesseth, that she hath knowledge and can doo the most detestable arte of witchecraft, and that she learned this her knowledge in the same, of one Mother Humfrye of Maplested, who told her that she must neele down upon her knees, and make a circle on the ground, and pray unto Sathan the cheefe of the devills, the forme of which praier that she then taught her, this examinate hath now forgotten, and that then the spirits would come unto her, the which she put in practice about twenty yeeres since, in the feelde of John Wiseman of Stysted Gentleman, called Cowfenne feelde, and there making a circle as she was taught, and kneeling on her knees, said the praier now forgotten, and invocating upon Sathan: two sprites59 did appear unto her within the said circle, in the similitude and likenes of two black frogges, and there demaunded of her what she would have, beeing readye to doo for her what she would desire, so that she would promise to give them her soule for 57

The formal charging of a prisoner in a court of law. “First of all” (Latin). 59 Spirits. 58

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their travaile,60 for otherwise: they would do nothing for her. Wher-upon she did promise them her soule, and then they concluded with her so to doo for her, what shee would require, and gave themselves severall names, that is to say, the one Jack, and the other Jyll, by the which names she did alwaies after call them. (She had fower61 principall spirits. The first was Jack. The second was Jyll. The third was Nicholas. The fourth was Ned. Jack killed mankinde. Jyll killed womenkinde. Nicholas killed horses. Ned killed cattell.) And then taking them up, she caried them home in her lap and put them in a box and gave them white bread and milke.62 And within one moneth after she sent them to milke Hurrelles beastes, which they did, and they woud bring milke for their owne eating and not for her. And further, she saith that her sprites never changed their colour since they first came unto her, and that they would familiarly talke with her, when she had any thing to say or doo with them in her owne language. And likewise she confesseth that she sent her said spirits to hurt the wife of John Sparrow the elder, of Stysted, which they did, and also that where Maister John Glascock of Stysted, aforesaid: had a great stack of logges in his yarde, she by her said spirits did overthrowe63 them. And further, saith that she hath hurt divers persons within this sixteene or twenty yeeres, but how many she now knoweth not. Furthermore, she confesseth that she sent her sprites unto William Unglee of Stysted Miller, and because they could not hurt him, she sent them to hurt one Barnabie Griffyn his man, which they did. Likewise she confesseth, that she sent her saide sprites, to hurt Maister Kitchin minister64 of the saide towne, and also unto one Georg Coe of the saide towne shoomaker, to hurt him likewise: but they could not, and the cause why they could not, as the saide sprites tolde her, was because they had at their coming a strong faith in God, and had invocated and called upon him, that they could doo them no harme. And further she saith, that Margaret Cunny her daughter, did fall out with Father65 Hurrill, and gave him cursed speeches, and ther upon, she thinketh she sent her spirits to her. Also she dooth utterlye denye that she sent her saide spirits to Finches wife, Devenishes wife, and Renold Ferror or any of them to hurt them. 60

Labour. Four. This information in brackets is contained in a marginal note. 62 That is, the finest food she could offer. 63 Overturn. 64 Senior official, perhaps the mayor or court administrator. 65 A respectful title, with no religious significance. 61

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And beeing further examined, she confesseth that although her said spirits at some time can have no power to hurt men,66 yet they may have power to hurt their cattell. This Joane Cunny, living very lewdly, having two lewd daughters, no better than naughty packs,67 had two bastard children: beeing both boyes, these two children were cheefe witnesses, and gave in great evidence against their grandam and mothers, the eldest beeing about 10. or 12. yeeres of age. Against this Mother Cunny the elder boye gave in this evidence which she herselfe after confessed, that she going to Braintye market,68 came to one Harry Finches house, to demaund some drink, his wife being busie and a brewing, tolde her she had no leysure to give her any. Then Joane Cunnye went away discontented: and at night Finches wife was greevously taken in her head, and the next day in her side, and so continued in most horrible pain for the space of a week, and then dyed. Mother Cunnye confessed that she sent her spirit Jill to torment her. The same boy confessed that he was commaunded by his grandmother to fetch a burden of wood,69 which he gathered, but another boy stole it from him, and he came home without: and tolde his grandam: and she commaunded her sprite to prick the same boy in the foote, which was done, and the same boye came to the barre70 lame and gave evidence against her. Againe the same boy confessed that his grandam when he had lost his wood, saide she would have wood enough: and bad him goe into Sir Edward Huddlestones ground beeing high sheriffe of the sheere,71 and to take with him Jack the sprite, and so he did, who went unseene to any body but to the boy, and when they came to a mighty oke-tree, the spirit went about it, and presently the tree blew up by the roots: and no winde at all stirring at this time: which Master High Sheriffe acknowledged to be blown down in a great calme.

66

That is, certain men could not be hurt because of their strong faith in God. Women of bad character. 68 Braintree, a market town only a few miles from Stysted. 69 A bundle of fire-wood. 70 Court (bar). 71 County (shire). 67

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The confession of Joan Upney of Dagenham, in the Countye of Essex, who was brought before Sir Henrye Gray Knight, the third of May. 1589. This examinate saith, that one Fustian Kirtle, otherwise called White-cote, a witch of Barking, came to her house about seaven or eight yeeres agoe and gave her a thing like a moule, and tolde her if she ought72 any body any ill will, if she did bid it, it would goe clap73 them. She saith that moule taryed not above a yeere with her, but it consumed74 away, and then she gave her another moule and a toad, which she kept a great while, and was never without some toades since till her last going away from her house, when she confesseth she ranne away, because she heard John Harrolde and Richard Foster say she was a witch, and such other woordes. She saith that one day she left a toade under the groundsill75 at Harrolds house, and it pinched his wife and sucked her til she dyed, but it never came to her the saide Joan Upney againe She saith, that one day another toade went over her threshold as Richard Fosters wife was coming that way, and it went and pinched her, and never returned againe. Other two toades she left at home, when she ran away, but they consumed away. She saith that her eldest daughter would never abide76 to meddle with her toades, but her youngest daughter would handle them, and use them as well as her selfe. The examination of Joan Prentice, one of the women of the almes house77 of Hinningham Sibble, within the saide county: beeing taken the 29. of March, in the 31. yeere of the raigne of our soveraigne Lady Elizabeth.78 In primis, this saide examinate saith and confesseth, that about sixe yeeres last past, betweene the feastes of All Saintes, and the birth of our Lord God,79 the Devill appeered unto her in the almes house aforesaide: about

72

Bore. Hit, beat. 74 Wasted. 75 Door-sill, threshold. 76 Bear. 77 A charitable home for the poor, a poorhouse. 78 That is, 1589. 79 That is, between the first of November and Christmas. 73

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ten of the clock in the night time, beeing in the shape and proportion80 of a dunnish coloured ferrit,81 having fiery eyes, and the saide examinate beeing alone in her chamber,82 and sitting up on a lowe stoole, preparing her selfe to bedward: the ferrit standing with his hinderlegs upon the ground, and his forelegs setled upon her lappe, and setling his fiery eyes upon her eyes, spake and pronounced to her these woordes following, namelye: Joan Prentice give me thy soule, to whome this examinate beeing greatly amazed, answered and said: In the name of God what art thou. The ferrit answered, I am Satan, feare me not my coming unto thee is to doo thee no hurt but to obtaine thy soule, which I must and wil have before I departe from thee to whome the saide examinate answered and said, that he demaunded that of her which is none of hers to give, saying: that her soule appertained83 onely unto Jesus Christ, by whose precious blood shedding, it was bought and purchased. To whome the saide ferret replyed and saide, I must then have some of thy blood, which she willingly graunting, offered him the forefinger of her left hand, the which the ferrit tooke into his mouth, and setting his former feete upon that hand, suckt blood therout, in so much that her finger did smart exceedingye: and the saide examinate demaunding againe of the ferrit what his name was: it answered Bidd. And then presently the said ferrit vanished out of her sight sodainly. Item, the saide examinate saith further, that about one moneth after, the saide ferrit came againe unto her in the night time as she was sitting upon a little stoole, preparing her selfe to bedward, as is above saide: Joan wilt thou goe to bed, to whome she answered yea that I will by Gods grace, then presently the ferret leapt up upon her lap, and from thence up to her bosome, and laying his former84 feete upon her lefte shoulder, sucked blood out of her lefte cheeke, and then he saide unto her, Joan if thou will have me doo any thing for thee, I am and wilbe alwaies ready at thy commaundement, and ther-upon she beeing a little before fallen out with William Adams his wife of Hinningham Sibble aforesaide: willed85 the ferret to spoile her drinke which was then in brewing, which he did accordingly. Item, the saide examinate furthermore saith and confesseth, that the saide ferret divers times after appeered unto her alwaies at the time when 80

Size. A weasel-like animal, often trained to hunt rats or rabbits. 82 Bedroom. 83 Belonged. 84 Front. 85 Ordered, commanded. 81

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she was going to bed, and the last time he appeered unto her was about seaven weekes last past, at which time she was going to bed, the ferrit leapt upon her shoulder, and sucked blood out of her lefte cheeke, and that doone: he demaunded of her what she had for him to doo: to whom she answered, goe unto Maister Glascockes house, and nippe one of his children a little, named Sara, but hurt it not, and the next night he resorted unto her againe, and told her that he had doone as she had willed him: namely, that he had nipt Sara Glascock, and that she should dye therof, to whome she answered and saide, thou villaine what hast thou doon, I bid thee to nip it but a little and not to hurt it, and hast thou killed the childe: which speech being uttered, the ferrit vanished away suddenly, and never came to her sithence. Item, she saith and affirmeth, that at what time soever that she would have her ferret doo any thing for her, she used these woordes, Bidd, Bidd, Bidd, come Bidd, come Bidd, come Bidd, come suck, come suck, come suck, and that presently he would appeere as is aforesaide: and suckt blood out of her lefte cheeke, and then perfourmed any mischeefe she willed or wished him to doo for her unto or against any of her neighbours. Lastly the said examinate saith, and confesseth, that one Elizabeth Whale, the wife of Michaell Whale of Henningham Sibble aforesaide labourer, and Elizabeth Mott, the wife of John Mot of the saide Towne Cobler, areas well acquainted with her Bidd as her selfe is, but knoweth not what hurt they or any of them have doone to any of their neighbours. When their inditements86 were read, and their examinations also, they stoode upon their tearmes, to prolong life:87 yet to make the matters more apparent, sundry witnesses were produced to give evidence against them, and firste the judge of the circuite88 very wisely with a great foresight, called in the two basterd children before mencrowd,89 and commended them greatlye for telling the trueth of that which he shuld aske them, concerning their grandam and their mothers, which they did, and having saide what they could, together with the depositions90 of sundrye other witnesses, they having confessed sufficient matter to prove the

86

Formal charges (indictments). That is, they pleaded their respective cases to save their lives. 88 The presiding court judge. 89 Perhaps “mentioned.” 90 Testimonies, statements. 87

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inditements.91 The jury found these bad women guiltie and that they had slain men, women, and children, and had committed very wicked and horrible actions, divers and sundrye times, and ther-upon, the judge proceeded, and pronounced the sentence of death against them, as worthely they had deserved. After they had received their judgments, they were convayed from the barre backe againe to prison, where they had not stayed above two howers, but the officers prepared themselves to conduct them to the place of execution: to which place they led them, and being come thether, one Maister Ward a learned devine, beeing desired by the justices, did exhort these wicked women to repentance, and perswaded them that they would shewe unto the people the trueth of their wickednes, and to call upon God for mercy with penitent hartes. And to aske pardon at his hands for the same: some fewe prayers they saide after the precher, but little els: more then this, that they had deserved to dye, in committing those wicked sinnes: and so tooke their deathes patiently. Note, that Mother Upney being inwardlye pricked and having some inward feeling in conscience cryed out saying: that she had greevously sinned, that the Devill had deceived her, the Devill had deceived her, and that she had twice given her soule to the Devill, yet by the meanes of Gods spirite woorking in her, and the paines which Maister Ward tooke with her, she seemed very sorry for the same, and died very penitent, asking God & the world forgivenes, even to the last gaspe, for her wicked and detestable life. Finis.

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It is not the two boys’ mothers who are on trial here, however, at least according to the account, but Joan Cunny, Joan Upney and Joan Prentice (see above, p. 80, n. 48). A further sign of hasty writing?

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Witchcraft Act of 160492 An Acte against Conjuration Witchcrafte and Dealinge with Evill and Wicked Spirits.93 Be it enacted by the King our sovraigne lorde the lordes spirituall and temporall and the Comons94 in this p’sent parliment assembled, and by the authoritie of the same, that the statute made in the fifte yeere of the raigne of our late Sov’aigne Ladie of the most famous and happy memorie Queene Elizabeth, intituled An Acte againste Conjurations Inchantments and Witchcraftes, be from the Feaste of St. Michaell the Archangell nexte cominge,95 for and concerninge all offences to be comitted after the same feaste, utterlie repealed. And for the better restrayning of saide offenses, and more severe punishinge the same, be it further enacted by the authoritie aforesaide, that if any pson or persons after the saide Feaste of Saint Michaell the Archangell next comeing, shall use practise or exercsise any invocation or conjuration of any evill and spirit, or shall consult covenant96 with entertaine employ feede or rewarde any evill and wicked spirit to or for any intent or pupose; or take any dead man woman or child out of his her or theire grave or any other place where the dead body resteth, or the skin, bone or any other parte of any dead person, to be imployed or used in any manner of witchecrafte, sorcerie, charme or inchantment; or shall use practise or exercise any witchcrafte sorcerie, charme or incantment wherebie any pson shall be killed destroyed wasted97 consumed pined98 or 92 Religious tensions in England during the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries resulted in a series of witchcraft acts, the first in the reign of Henry VIII (1542), a second during the early years of Elizabeth (1562), and a final one shortly after James’s accession (1604). All three defined witchcraft as a crime punishable by death and the forfeiture (with exceptions) of the convicted felon’s goods and property. Those of 1562 and 1604 transferred the trials from the Church to the ordinary courts. Between the beginning of Elizabeths’s reign and the end of the seventeenth century, 513 men and women were put on trial as witches, of whom 112 were executed—the last known in England taking place in Devon in 1685. 93 On 11 May 1604, a new bill was read in the House of Commons and passed a month later, to be then returned to the House of Lords. 94 House of Commons. 95 That is, September 29, 1604. 96 To enter into an agreement or contract. 97 Enfeebled, undermined in strength or vitality. 98 Tormented, caused to suffer.

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lamed in his or her bodie, or any parte therof; then that everie such offendor or offendors theire ayders abettors and counsellors, being of the saide offences dulie and lawfullie convicted and attainted,99 shall suffer pains of deathe as a felon or felons, and shall loose the priviledge and benefit of cleargie100 and sanctuarie. And further, to the intent that all manner of practise use or exercise of declaring by witchcrafte, inchantment charme or sorcerie should be from henceforth utterlie avoyded abolished and taken away, be it enacted by the authorite of this p’sent parliament, that if any pson or psons shall from and after the saide Feaste of Saint Michaell the Archangell next cominge, take upon him or them by witchcrafte inchantment charme or sorcerie to tell or declare in what place any treasure of golde or silver should or had in the earth or other secret places, or where goodes or thinges loste or stollen should be founde or become; or to the intent to pvoke101 any person to unlawfull love, or wherebie and cattell or goods of any pson shall be destroyed wasted or impaired, or to hurte or destroy any pson in his bodie, although the same be not effected and done: that then all and everie such pson or psons so offendinge, and beinge therof lawfullie convicted, shall for the said offence suffer imprisonment by the space of one whole yeere, without baile or maineprise,102 and once in everie quarter of the saide yeere, shall in some markett towne, upon the markett day, or at such tyme as any faire shalbe kept there, stande openlie upon the pillorie103 by the space of sixe houres, and there shall openlie confesse his or her error and offence; and if any pson or psons beinge once convicted of the same offences as is aforesaide, doe eftsones ppetrate104 and comit the like offence, that then everie such offender, beinge of the saide offences the second tyme lawfullie and duelie convicted and attainted as is aforesaide, shall suffer paines of deathe as a felon or felons, and shall loose the benefitt and priviledge of clergie and sanctuarie: saving to the wife of such person as shall offend in any thinge contrarie to this acte; her title of dower;105 and also to the heire and successor of everie such person his or 99

Condemned. Benefit of Clergy was a legal device that spared men (and women after 1624) from hanging who could read a passage from the Bible (traditionally Psalm 51, known as the “neck verse”). 101 Provoke. 102 Surety (mainprize). 103 A wooden framework erected on a post or pillar for the punishment of offenders. 104 Again perform or execute (eftsoons perpetrate). 105 That is, her right (“title”) to a portion of her deceased husband’s estate. 100

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theire titles of inheritance succession and other rights, as though no such attaindor or the ancestor or predecessor had been made; provided alwaies that if the offender in any cases aforesaide shall happen to be a peere106 of this realme, then his triall therein is to be had by his peeres, as it is used in cases of felonie or treason and not otherwise.

A New-Yeeres-Gift for the Pope107 To the tune of, Thomas, You Cannot, &c. All you that desirous are to behold the difference ’twixt falshood and faith, Marke well this emblem,108 one piece of pure gold, a cart-load of false coyne outwayeth, Then wisely consider and beare in your mind, Though Sathans instruments true faith to blind, A thousand devises° dayly doe find: Yet all is in vaine, they cannot, they cannot, Yet all is in vaine they cannot. The [diff]erence ’twixt Papist and Protestant here, yo[u’l] [ha]ve in a moment debated, The [one] loves the Gospell that shineth still cleare, the other is more subtile-pated,° He will not be ruld by the Scriptures large scope, But trusts in traditions deriv’d from the Pope, By which to be sav’d he doth constantly hope: Fond° fooles, y’ are deceived,109 you cannot, &c.

106

schemes

crafty or devious

Silly, idiotic

Nobleman (peer). Only half of the broadsheet, containing Part I of the ballad, has been preserved, and it is in poor condition. Thus the author’s and printer’s names are lost. Probably the work is dated sometime after May 6, 1624, when James I issued the last of his proclamations against Jesuits and seminary priests. The ballad’s dominant metaphor can be seen in the first part of the sub-title: Come See the Difference Plainly Decided, betweene Truth and Falshood. 108 The text of the ballad is in two columns, with a large woodcut above them. It depicts a pair of heavenly scales, tipped in favour of God and the Bible against the Pope and his followers (see illustration below, p. 388). 109 Mislead. 107

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True justice, ’gainst whom no falshood prevailes, the case for both parties decideth [An]d here she doth hold up her unpartiall scales; no fictions° nor lyes she abideth: The Pope like a martialist hardy and stout, [Co]mes marching in pompe with all his brave rout,° [To] win by his multitude he makes no doubt: But alas father Pope you cannot, &c. Thus are these two opposites come to the place, where truth must be proved by tryall, The Pope thinks with greatnesse to carry the grace,° but Justice hath eyes to descry° all: The scales are made even, the Bible’s in one, Which is the true meanes of salvation alone, They striving to passe° it, doe strive till they grone; Yet all is in vaine, they cannot, &c.

deceits showy troops

God’s favour see

ignore

The Pope seeing he must be tride by the Bible, did seeke to orecome it by might, He tride by all meanes that for him was possible; but all he could bring was too light:° of insufficient weight Their masses and dirges,110 with such superstitions, Decrees and decretals,° with other traditions, papal documents The Golden Legend111 with late new additions: Yet all is in vaine, they cannot, &c. Thus stil the pure Gospell gainst falshood prevailes, which when the proud prelate112 did see, A cart-load of trinkets113 he puts in the scales, and thrust it as full as might be,° as full as possible With great wooden crosses and many great babies,114

110

Services for the dead. Initially entitled Readings of the Saints, by Jacobus de Voragine, The Golden Legend was a late medieval best seller. 112 That is, the pope. 113 A term applied to the decorations of worship and to religious rites, ceremonies, beliefs, etc. which the speaker thinks vain or trivial. 114 Pictures and ornamentation in books, sometimes of a grotesque nature. 111

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The pictures and saints of a bevy of ladies,115 Who dayly are worshipped by these grand rabbies:116 Yet still father Pope you cannot, &c. Yet still father Pope [you cannot, &c.]

The Tragedy of Doctor Lambe117 To the tune of Gallants Come Away.118 Neighbours sease to mone, And leave your lamentation: For Doctor Lambe is gone, The Devill of our nation, as ’tis knowne. A long time hath he lived, By cursed coniuration:° And by inchantments thrived, While men of worthy fashion, have conived.° The pranks° that he hath played, (By the help o’th Devill) Are wondrous: but his trade 115

invoking of spirits (conjuration)

not taken notice wicked tricks

It has been suggested that the line should read “With pictures of saints and a bevy of ladies.” But perhaps the “bevy of ladies” are the saints. 116 Those whose learning, authority or office is comparable to that of the Jewish rabbi (uttered contemptuously). 117 Dr. John Lambe, known as the Duke of Buckingham’s “wizard,” was attacked and pursued by a mob on June 13, 1628, as he and the duke left the Fortune playhouse. Not only accused of leading “a lewd life” but also of being a witch and the devil incarnate, he was caught and brutally beaten to death. At the Duke’s instigation, Charles I threatened to withdraw the charter of London and fine the city £6,000. But the amount was eventually reduced to 1,500 marks, following the Duke’s assassination. Contemporary references to the horrific incident abound. There are two woodcuts in the poem, the larger one of Dr. Lambe practising necromancy with an evil spirit and the other showing monks contending with a devil (see illustration below, p. 384). The sub-title reads: The Great Suposed Coniurer, Who Was Wounded to Death by Saylers and Other Lads, on Fryday the 14. Iune, 1628. And Dyed in the Poultry Counter, Neere Cheap-side, on the Saturday Morning Following. 118 The music for this tune is apparently unknown.

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And all his actions evill, at one time fade.° The name of Doctor Lambe, Hath farre and neere beene bruted,° The Devill and his dame So cuning were not reputed,119 sure I am.

suddenly ended

spoken of (bruited)

But now he’s gone the way That’s fit for such a liver; To hell I dare not say, Some iudge so, howsoever: as well they may. For such a wicked wretch In England hath liv’d seldome, Nor never such a wich,120 For his skill from hell came, that made him rich. I neede name none on’s° feates, That are well knowne already: But this my ditty° treates, Of Doctor Lambe’s tragedy, my muse intreates, Your patience for a space, Whil’st I make his narration,° That lived voyde of grace, And did in desperation° end his race.° The fourteenth day of Iune Which was upon a Friday,121 In the afternoone,

119

of his ballad, song

tell his story despair life

That is, they were less cunning than generally believed. Along with “conjurer” and “devil,” Lambe was referred to by his attackers as a witch. 121 Lambe was actually assaulted on Friday, June 13. This minor error is repeated in the sub-title. 120

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We may count it a high day,° for what was done. This man upon that day, As it is knowne for certaine, Went to see a play At the house° cald Fortune: and going away,

95 a day of celebration

theatre (playhouse)

A crew of sea-men bold, That went to see the action,122 Followed the doctor old, And rose unto a faction, as ’tis tolde. Over the fields went he, And after him they follow’d,123 His Devill could not free him, For they whoop’d and holowd, till they see The second part. To the same tune. Him enter in a house,° The Horshoe neere to More-gate,124 Where he did carouse, But they to him still bore hate, the story shewes. Assone° as he had supt, Which was with halfe a pig there, This multitude abrupt, Said were a devill as big there, they’d interrupt.

122

inn, tavern (public house)

As soon

The play. Another account states that, as Dr. Lambe was being pursued, he hired a company of sailors to protect him. 124 A tavern near Moorgate, a medieval gate in the London wall leading into Moorfields. 123

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His coming by his death, Some prentises° did ayde them, To take the doctors breath, No faire means could perswad them, each one hath A resolution bent,° To kill the English devill, About which, at they went, Though I confesse that evill was their intent.

apprentices

a fixed resolve or determination

With cudgels and with stones, They followd him with fury, To bruse and breake his bones: And iust in the old Iury125 all at once They beate him to the ground, And meaning to dispatch him, They gave him many a wound, The devill could not watch° him, to keepe him sound.°

watch over, look after healthy, safe

They broke one of his armes, And yet they would not leave him, But did him further harmes, And still they bad him save himselfe by’s charmes. His scull in piteous wise,° Was battered and brused, They put out both his eyes, So cursely° then they used him, who spyes°

manner

abominably saw

No rescue from his spirits, That used to attend, 125

After fleeing along Coleman Street, no one willing to take him in, Dr. Lambe was brought down on Old Jury (or Old Jewry) street and severely beaten.

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So ill had beene his merits, That few men to defend, shew’d their mights.°

strength, power

Now breefely to conclude, To’th Counter126 he was carried By the multitude, Where all that night he tary’d, with blood imbrude.°

soaked in blood

And then he did depart,° In lamentable manner, Yet few are griev’d at heart, To heare of his dishonour, and his smart.°

die

suffering

Thus Doctor Lambe is dead, That long hath wrongd our nation His times accomplished, And all his coniuration, with him is fled. As his life was lude,° Damnable and vitious: So he did conclude his life, And none propitious,° pitty shew’d. FINIS.

evil, wicked (lewd)

favourably disposed

M.P.127

Printed at London for H. G.128

126

The Poultry Counter (or Poultry Compter) was a small prison near Cheapside, controlled by a sheriff and used to house debtors, vagrants, etc. 127 Martin Parker (c. 1600-1656?) was the most renowned ballad-writer of the seventeenth century, who published this poem shortly after the incident. 128 Henry Gosson. For further information, see above, p. 36, n. 89.

CRIME, CRIMINALS AND THE LONDON UNDERWORLD

In “The Scholar Gypsy” Matthew Arnold, disillusioned by life in nineteenth-century England, looked back with envy to the days of Queen Elizabeth and King James and addressed his poem’s central figure with the words: O born in days when wits were fresh and clear, And life ran gaily as the sparkling Thames. This, a classic case of golden age delusion, seemed to imply that the literary and artistic glories of that bygone age must have mirrored a model society. Merry England, to use a popular phrase, must also have meant moral England. The truth of course was quite different, the Thames itself more sewer than sparkling river. Arnold had surely forgotten his Shakespeare and Ben Jonson and lesser known writers like Greene and Dekker. As a rapidly growing city, and one of the largest in Europe, London at that time was a breeding ground of every offence in the criminologist’s textbook. In a metropolis populous enough for useful anonymity, where gaps yawned between rich and poor, where beggars and abandoned children roamed the streets and innocent country folk came to do business and sight-see, the city was an ideal site for every kind of law-breaking. Wherever people gathered—in parks, playhouses and taverns, at bearbaiting rings, bowling alleys and market places—the opportunities for crime were legion. Felons of all varieties were active—cut-purses, cutthroats, fences, shifters, card-sharps, bawds and panderers, highwaymen, crossbiters, cheating fortune tellers, alchemists. The “caterpillars of the commonwealth,” as Greene called them. That no less than five prisons were located in Southwark (the Clink, the Borough Compter, the King’s Bench, the Marshalsea and the White Lion) shows that this area alone, with its dicing houses, brothels and bull rings, was a hub of crime, and probably little different from many other parts of the city. When righteous citizens gave chase, raising a hue and cry, refuge for the criminal beckoned in such districts as Islington, Whitefriars, Southwark itself and

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areas dubbed Devil’s Gap, Bermudas and Damnation Alley. Even the great St. Paul’s Cathedral, always crowded, provided a perfect setting for the activities of well-dressed con-men and gangs of pickpockets. Nor were such crimes as highway robbery and burglary a male preserve. The infamous Mary Frith, alias Moll Cutpurse, sometimes disguised as a pipesmoking man, was bold enough even in her fifties to waylay General Fairfax during the Civil War, shoot him in the arm, kill his servants’ horses and steal his gold. Thief schools flourished, long predating those in Dickens. Punishment was as hideous as the crimes it tried to remove—severed heads on poles, public hangings, burning at the stake, a whipping till blood covered the back, prostitutes dragged by horse through the streets bearing a notice for everyone to read. It was all a far cry from the gaily running life of Arnold’s imagination.

A True Discourse of a Cruel and Inhumaine Murder, Committed vpon M.1 Padge of Plymouth, the 11. Day of February Last, 1591, by the Consent of His Owne Wife, and Sundry Other[s]2 In the towne of Testock3 10. miles or therabouts from Plimouth, there dwelled one M. Glanfeeld, a man of as good wealth and account, as any occupier4 in that cuntrie.5 This M. Glanfeeld favoured a yong man named George Strangwich, who was of such great credit with him, that he turned over al his wares, shop, and dealings into his handes: and tooke so good 1

Abbreviation for “Master,” the Renaissance equivalent of “Mister.” This is the second of two tracts contained in Sundrye Strange and Inhumaine Murthers, Lately Committed....(Printed at London by Thomas Scarlet. 1591.) Several ballads soon appeared, supposedly told by Padge’s wife or her lover, and it was almost certainly a major source of Thomas Dekker and Ben Jonson’s Page of Plymouth, performed by the Admiral’s Men in 1599, but now unfortunately lost. The story of this brutal murder continued to fascinate the public long afterwards, with some scholars arguing that it considerably influenced the popular Renaissance genre of domestic tragedy. There is one large woodcut beneath the title (see illustration below, p. 387), depicting a scene of carnage, as well as several small ornaments later in the poem. 3 Tavistock. 4 Dealer, merchant, trader. 5 County. 2

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liking of him being a proper yong man, that it was supposed he should have had his daughter in mariage, and the rather for that6 he had learned the full perfection & knowledge of his trade in London, in the service of a worshipfull cittizen called M. Powell in Bred-street, and grew so painfull,7 and seemed so good a husband8 as the said M. Glanfeelds daughter did wholye resolve that the saide Strangwidge should be her husband and no other: whereto in troth9 her parentes never did condescend.10 But Sathan who is the author of evill, crept so farre into the dealinges of these persons, that he procured11 the parents to mislike12 of Stangwidge, and to perswade their daughter to refraine13 his companye, shewing her that they had found out a more meeter14 match for her, and motioned15 unto hir that it was their pleasures shee should marrye one M. Padge of Plimouth, who was a widdower, and one of the cheefest inhabitants of that towne, and by reason that the sayde M. Glanfeeld did mean to abide at Plimouth, he thought it a more sufficient16 matche to marrye her in Plimouth, where she might be hard by17 him, then to marrye her to Strangwidge who dwelt farre from him: In the end such was the successe, that although she had setled her affection altogither upon Strangwidge, yet through the perswasion of her friendes18 though sore against her will, she was married to M. Padge of Plimouth, notwithstanding that she had protested never to love ye19 man with her hart, nor never to remove her affection setled upon the saide Strangwidge, which she perfourmed as the sequell20 maketh manifest: for this Mistris21 Padge had accesse to Stangwidge, and he to her at his comming to Plimoth: wherby the Divell so wrought in the harts of them both, that they practised daye and night how to bring her husband to his end. And therupon the said Mistris Padge as appeereth since by her own 6

For that reason, because of that. Industrious, diligent. 8 A man who managed his affairs skilfully and prudently. 9 In truth. 10 Consent, agree. 11 Caused. 12 To dislike, disapprove of. 13 Avoid, give up. 14 Suitable, proper. 15 Indicated, imparted. 16 Satisfactory. 17 Close to. 18 Probably in the sense of close relatives. 19 The. 20 The following story. 21 Prefixed to the name of a married woman (abbreviated later to “Mrs.”). 7

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confession, did within ye space of one yeere and lesse, attempt sundry times to poison her husband, for it was not full a yeere, but that she had procured him to be murthered, as you shal hear immediately. But God who preserveth many persons from such perils and daungers, defended stil ye said M. Padge from the secret snares and practises of present death, which his wife had laid for him, yet not without great hurt unto his body, for still the poison wanted force to kil him, so wonderfully did almighty God worke for him, yet was he compelled to vomit blood and much corruption, which doubtles in the end would have killed him, and that shortlye. But to prosecute22 and that with great speed to perfourm this wicked and inhumain act, the saide Mistres Padge and Strangwidge omitted no opportunitie: They wanted no meanes nor friendes23 to performe it for their mony, whereof they had good store, and more then they knewe how to imploy, except it had beene to better uses: For she on the one side practised with one of her servants named Robert Priddis, whom as she thought nothing would more sooner make him pretend24 the murdering of his maister thƝ25 silver and gold, wherwith she so corrupted him, with promise of seavenscore26 pounds more, that he solemnly undertook and vowed to performe the task to her contentment. On the other side Stangwidg hired one Tom Stone to be an actor in this tragicall action, and promised him a great summe of mony for perfourming the same, who by a solemne vow had graunted the effecting therof, though to the hazard of his own life. These two instruements wickedly prepared themselves to effect this desperate and villanous deed upon the 11. of February being Wednesday, on which night following ye act was committed, but it is to be remembered that this Mistris Padge lay not then with her husband, by reason of the untimely birth of a child whereof she was newly delivered, the same being dead borne: upon which cause, she then kept her chamber, having before sworn ye27 she would never beare child of his getting ye should prosper: which argued a most ungodlye minde in the woman, for in that sort she had been the death of two of her own children. About ten of the clock at night M. Padge being in his bed slumbring, could not happen upon a sound sleepe, and lying musing to him selfe, Tom Stone came softlye and knocked at ye doore, wherupon Priddis his 22

To persist, persevere. That is, acquaintances who are supportive (in this case for financial gain). 24 Undertake. 25 Than. 26 That is, one-hundred and forty (a score being a unit of twenty). 27 That. 23

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companion did let him in, who was made privie28 to this deed, and by reson that Mistris Padge gave thƝ29 straight charge30 to dispatche it that night whatsoever came of it, they drew towardes the bed, intending immediately to go about it, M. Padge being not a sleep as is afor said, asked who came in, wherat Priddis leapt upon his maister being in his bed, who roused himself and got out upon his feete, & had been hard enough for his man, but that Stone flew upon him being naked, and suddenlye tripped him, so that he fell to the ground: wherupon both of them fell upon him, and tooke the kercher31 from his head, and knitting the same about his neck, they immediately stifled him: And as it appeereth even in ye anguish of death, the said M. Padge greatly laboured to pul ye kercher from about his neck, by reason of the marks & scratches which he had made with his nailes upon his throat, but therǠ32 he could not prevaile, for they would not let slip their hold until he was full dead. This doon, they laid him overthwart33 ye bed, and against the bed side broke his neck, and when they sawe he was surelye dead, they stretched him and layde him in his bed again, spreading the clothes in ordinary sort, as though no such act had beene attempted, but that he had died on Gods hand. Wherupon Pridis immediately went to Mistris Pages chamber and tolde her that all was dispatcht: And about one hower after he came againe to his mistris chamber doore and called alowd, Mistresse quoth he, let some body look into my maisters chamber, me thinkes I heare him grone. With that she called her maide, who was not privie to any thing, and had her light a candle, whereupon she slipt on her petticote and went thether likewise, sending her maid first into the chamber, where she her selfe stoode at the doore, as one whose conscience would not permit her to come and beholde the detestable deed she had procured. The maid simply felt on her maisters face, and found him colde and stiffe and so tolde her mistresse, wherat she had the maide to warme a cloth and wrap it about his feete, which she did, and when she felte his legges, they were as colde as claye, wherat she cried out saying, her maister was dead. Wherupon her mistris got her to bed, and caused her man Pridis to go call her father M. Glanfeeld, then dwelling at Plimouth, and sent for one of her husbands sisters likewise, willing her to make haste if ever she would 28

Informed of, made familiar with. Them. 30 Immediate orders. 31 Kerchief, head covering worn by both men and women. 32 Therewith. 33 Across. 29

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see her brother alive, for he was taken with the disease called the pull34 as they tearme it in that country:35 These persons being sent for, they came immediately, wherat Mistris Padge arose, & in counterfeit mƗner sounded,36 whereby there was no suspition a long time concerning any murder perfourmed upon him, untill Mistris Harris his sister spied blood about his bosome, which he had with his nailes procured by scratching for the kercher when it was about his throate: Then they moved his head, and found his neck broken, & on both his knees the skin was beaten off, by striving with them to save his life. Mistris Harris, heereupon perceiving how hee was made away, went to the Maior and the worshipfull37 of the towne, desiring them of justice, and intreated them to come and beholde this lamentable spectackle, which they immediatlye perfourmed, and by searching him, found that he was murdered the same night. Upon this the Maior committed Priddis to prison, who being examined, did impeach Tom Stone, shewing that he was a cheefe actor in the same: This Thomas Stone was married upon the next daye after the murther was committed, and being in the midst of his iollety, suddenly he was attached38 and committed to prison, to beare his fellow company. Thus did the Lord unfold this wretched deed, whereby immediately the said Mistris Padge was attached upon the murther: & examined before Sir Frauncis Drake Knight,39 with the Maior and other magistrates of Plimouth, who denied not the same, but said she had rather dye with Stangwidge, then to live with Padge. At the same time also the said George Strangwidge was newly come to Plimouth, being very heavy & doubtfull, by reason he had given consent to the saide murder: who being then in company Ǡ some of London, was apprehended, and called before the justices for the same, wherupon at his comming before them, he confessed the trueth of all: and offered to prove that he had written a letter to Plimouth before his comming thether, that at any hand they should not perfourme the act: Nevertheles M. Padge was murdered before the commng of this letter, and therefore he was sent to 34

Palsy. That is, the County of Devon. 36 Swooned, fainted. 37 Aldermen. 38 Seized, arrested. 39 Returning to Plymouth in 1580, after circumnavigating the world, Sir Francis Drake was knighted by Queen Elizabeth aboard the Golden Hind. After purchasing a large manor house in the region, he became Mayor of Plymouth and, shortly after, a member of parliament. 35

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prison with the rest unto Exceter: and at the assises40 holden this last Lent, the said Gorge Stangwidge, Mistris Padge, Priddis, and Tom Stone, were condemned and adiudged to dye for the saide fact, and were all executed accordinglye upon Satterdaye beeing the twentith day of Februarye last, 1591.41 Other Strange Things Seene at That Time. Upon the same night and three nights after, there was seen an ugly thing formed like a beare, whose eyes were as it had been fier, bearing about him a linnen cloth representing the instruement wherewith the saide M. Padge was murdered. Also in Plimouth the same weeke in the presence of sundry honest persons, was visibly seene a raven, which did alight upon the head of a ships mast, sunk at the end of the towne: This raven, standing upon the top of the maine mast, did with her talents42 pluck up certaine rope yarnes43 that hung downe from the head of the mast, and fastned them about her necke, and often turnde them about her neck with all her force, which doone, she plunged her selfe right down, clapping her wings close to her body, and never left untill she had hanged her self. Now the ship was all this while a ground, lying with her sterne to the shore, and suddainly the said ship turneth her selfe round, and brought her stem where earlie her sterne did lye, all which are strange, yet is the same so true, as it cannot be disproved, being iustified by those that saw the same. The Lord blesse us, and give all other grace to be: warned by these examples and inhumaine actions before recited: that we may avoid the danger of shedding of innocent blood, and feare the iudgement of God which continually followeth wilfull murderers. Eternal God preserve this little island, blesse the Queenes Maiestie, and her honourable Counsell,44 turn thy wrath awaye from us O Lord, and poure downe thy blessinges upon her Highnes, that she our Moyses, maye long live to holde up the

40

In this case, however, the assizes (or county court proceedings) were in fact held at Barnstaple, “the plague being much at Exeter.” 41 The three men were hanged, but Eulalia Page was burned alive, the killing of a husband or wife being deemed petty treason. 42 Talons. 43 Threads or strands of rope (rope-yarn). 44 That is, the Privy Council, consisting of Elizabeth’s ministers of state.

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Tables of the Law45 in her gratious handes, and that we may seek continually to please her in such due sort, as she may have no iust cause to throw them down, which God graunt for his mercie sake. Amen. FINIS.

From The Blacke Bookes Messenger. Laying Open the Life and Death of Ned Brown One of the Most Notable Cutpurses, Crosbiters, and Conny-catchers,46 That Euer Liued in England47 To the Curteous Reader Health. Gentlemen, I knowe you have long expected the comming foorth of my Blacke Booke, which I long have promised, and which I had many daies since finished, had not sickenes hindered my intent:48 Neverthelesse, be assured it is the first thing I meane to publish after I am recovered. This messenger to my Blacke Booke I commit to your curteous censures, being written before I fell sick, which I thoght good in the meane time to send

45

A biblical allusion comparing Elizabeth to Moses, who led the Israelites out of slavery. At Mount Sinai, God gave him the tablets containing the ten commandments. 46 Three different forms of thieves and swindlers, dealt with separately below in notes 60, 65 and 53 respectively. 47 This pamphlet, by Robert Greene, was entered in the Stationers’ Register on 21 August 1592 as The Repentance of a Coneycatcher, with the life and death of [blank] Mourton and Ned Browne, two notable coneycatchers....It would seem, therefore, that it was originally meant to be part of a larger work to be called Blacke Booke (see To the Curteous Reader Health below) that included the histories of both Ned Browne and Mourton. The sub-title reads: Heerein Hee Telleth Verie Pleasantly in His Owne Person Such Strange Prancks and Monstrous Villanies by Him and His Consorte Performed, as the Like Was Yet Neuer Heard of in Any of the Former Bookes of Conny-catching. Read and Be Warnd, Laugh as You Like, Judge as You Find. Nascimur pro Patria [“We are born for our country”]. By R.G. [ornament]. (Printed at London by Iohn Danter, for Thomas Nelson dwelling in Siluer streete, neere to the signe of the Red-Crosse. 1592.) 48 The Blacke Bookes Messenger was registered a few weeks before Greene’s death on 3 September 1592.

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you as a fayring,49 discoursing Ned Brownes villanies, which are too many to bee described in my Blacke Booke.50 I had thought to have ioyned with this treatise, a pithy discourse of the repentance of a conny-catcher lately executed out of Newgate,51 yet for asmuch as the methode of the one is so far differing from the other, I altered my opinion, and the rather for that the one died resolute and desperate, the other penitent and passionate.52 For the conny-catchers53 repentance which shall shortly be published, it containes a passion54 of great importance, first how he was given over from all grace and godlines, and seemed to have no sparke of the feare of God in him: yet neverthelesse, through the woonderfull working of Gods spirite, even in the dungeon at Newgate the night before he died, he so repented him from the bottome of his hart, that it may well beseeme parents to have it for their children, masters for their servants, and to bee perused of every honest person with great regard. And for Ned Browne of whome my messenger makes report, hee was a man infamous for his bad course of life and well knowne about London: Hee was in outward shew a gentlemanlike companion attyred very brave,55 and to shadowe56 his villany the more would nominate57 himselfe to be a marshall man,58 who when he had nipt a bung59 or cut a good purse,60 he would steale over into the Lowe Countries, there to tast three or foure stoapes61 of Rhenish wine, and then come over forsooth a brave souldier: 49

Gift. Greene never completed the Blacke Booke, the material concerning Mourton being revised and published after his death as The Repentance of Robert Greene. (This of course is not to be confused with The Blacke Booke of 1604, usually attributed to Thomas Middleton and contained in this edition.) 51 Presumbly this refers to Mourton, who had been recently executed at Tyburn after serving a period in Newgate prison. 52 Lamenting, grieving. 53 Conny-catching was originally Elizabethan cant (slang) for a particular method of cheating at cards, but soon came to mean any method of swindling. The conny was the victim of the swindle, literally a rabbit. 54 An account of overpowering feeling. 55 Finely-dressed, probably in a showy way. 56 Conceal. 57 Call. 58 An officer either under the marshal of the royal household or of the City of London. 59 Snatched or “picked” a purse (a pickpocket). 60 Stolen a purse by cutting it loose (a cutpurse). 61 Flagons, tankards (stoups). 50

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But at last hee leapt at a daysie62 for his loose kind of life, and therefore imagine you now see him in his owne person, standing in a great bay windowe with a halter about his necke ready to be hanged,63 desperately pronounsing64 this his whole course of life and confesseth as followeth. Yours in all curtesie, R. G. A Table of the Words of Art Lately Devised by Ned Browne and His Associates, to Crosbite65 the Old Phrase Used in the Manner of Conny-catching. He that drawes the fish to the bait, the Beater.66 The taverne where they goe, the Bush. The foole that is caught, the Bird. Connycatching to be called, Bat fowling. The wine to be called, the Shrap. The cards to be called, the Limetwigs. The fetching in a conny, beating the bush. The good asse if he be woone,67 stooping to the lure. If he keepe aloofe,68 a Haggard. The verser69 in conny-catching is called, the Retriver. And the barnacle, the pot hunter. The Life and Death of Ned Browne, a Notable Cutpurse and Conny-catcher. If you thinke (gentlemen) to heare a repentant man speake, or to tel a large tale of his penitent sorrowes, ye are deceived: for as I have ever lived lewdly,70 so I meane to end my life as resolutely, and not by a cowardly confession to attempt the hope of a pardon. Yet, in that I was famous in 62

That is, fortune played him false and hence he got into difficulties. The “daisy” was the accepted emblem of dissembling. 63 A point clarified later in the narrative. 64 Setting forth, making known. 65 To cheat by deception and trickery (a crossbiter). 66 The following are technical terms associated with the hunting and snaring of wildfowl. 67 That is, the cony, if he is snared. 68 At a distance. 69 One of a gang of swindlers, two others being the “barnacle” and “setter.” 70 Wickedly, evilly.

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my life for my villainies, I will at my death professe my selfe as notable, by discoursing to you all merrely, the manner and methode of my knaveries, which if you hear without laughing, then after my death call me base knave, and never have me in remembrance. Know therfore (gentlemen) that my parents were honest, of good reporte,71 and no little esteeme amongst their neighbours, and sought (if good nurture and education would have served) to have made me an honest man: But as one selfe same ground brings foorth flowers and thistles; so of a sound stocke prooved an untoward syen;72 and of a vertuous father, a most vicious sonne. It bootes73 little to rehearfe the pettie sinnes of my non-age;74 as disobedience to my parentes, contempt of good counsaile, despising of mine elders, filching,75 pettilashery,76 and such trifling toyes:77 but with these follyes I inurde myselfe, till waxing in yeares, I grew into greater villanies. For when I came to eighteene yeares olde, what sinne was it that I would not commit with greedinesse, what attempt so bad, that I would not endevour to execute; cutting of purses, stealing of horses, lifting,78 picking of lockes, and all other notable coossenages.79 Why, I helde them excellent qualities, and accounted him unworthy to live, that could not, or durst not live by such damnable practises. Yet as sinne too openly manifested to the eye of the magistrate, is eyther sore80 revenged or soone cut off: So I to prevent that, had a nette wherein to daunce,81 and divers shadowes to colour my knaveries withall, as I would title my selfe with the name of a fencer, & make gentlemen beleeve that I pickt a living out by that mysterie,82 whereas God wot, I had no other fence but with my short knife, and a paire of purse stringes, and with them in troth83 many a bowt have I had in my time In torth?84 O what a simple oth was this to cǀfirm a mans credit with all? Why, I see the 71

Character, reputation. An unruly successor or heir (scion). 73 Matters. 74 Youth. 75 Stealing. 76 Petty larceny. 77 Tricks. 78 Stealing, particularly shop-lifting. 79 Acts of cheating, deception, fraud, etc. (cozenages). 80 Severely. 81 That is, a means of concealment. 82 That is, he would pretend to be a swordsman and make gentleman believe he earned (“pickt”) a living acting in mystery plays. 83 In truth. 84 Probably a misprint of “troth.” 72

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halter85 will make a man holy, for whilest God suffered mee to flourish, I scornd to disgrace my mouth with so smal an oath as In faith: but I rent God in peéces, swearing and forswearing86 by every part of his body, that such as heard mee, rather trembled at mine oathes, than feared my braves,87 and yet for courage and resolution I refer my selfe to all them that have ever heard of my name. Thus animated88 to do wickednes, I fell to take delight in the companie of harlots, amongst whome, as I spent what I gotte, so I suffered not them I was acquainted withall to fether their nestes, but would at my pleasure strippe them of all that they had. What bad woman was there about London, whose champion I would not be for a few crownes,89 to fight, sweare and stare90 in her behalfe, to the abuse of any that should doo iustice upon her? I still had one or two in store to crosbite withall, which I used as snares to trap simple men in: for if I tooke91 but one suspitiously in her companie, straight I berst upon him, and crossebit him for all the money in his purse. By the way, sith92 sorrow93 cannot helpe to save me, let mee tell you a mery ieast94 how once I crosse bit a maltman,95 that would needes bee so wanton, as when hee had shut his malt96 to have a wench, and thus the ieast fell out. A pleasant tale how Ned Browne crossebit a maltman. This senex97 fornicator, this olde letcher, using continually into White Chappell had a haunt into Petticote Lane98 to a trugging house99 there, and 85

The hangman’s noose. Renouncing or disavowing unalterably. 87 Bravadoes. 88 Stirred up and inspired. 89 Gold coins, first minted by Henry VIII in 1526 in imitation of the French crowne. 90 Glare, stare down, the phrase denoting uncontrollable rage. 91 Came upon, caught. 92 Since. 93 Regret. 94 Tale (jest). 95 One who makes malt for brewing or distilling, a maltster. 96 That is, when he had finished his malting for the day. 97 The stock figure of an old man. 98 Situated just beyond the City walls, near Aldgate, the area about Petticoat Lane was known by this time as a place where itinerant traders hawked second-hand clothes. 99 Brothel. 86

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fell into great familiaritie with a good wench that was a freend of mine, who one day revealed unto me how she was well thought on by a maltman, a wealthie olde churle,100 and that ordinarily twise a weeke he did visite her, and therefore bad mee plot some meanes to fetch him over for some crownes. I was not to seeke for a quicke invention,101 and resolved at his comming to crossebite him, which was (as luck served) the next day. Monsieur the Maltman comming according to his custome, was no sooner secretly shut in the chamber with the wench, but I came stepping in with a terrible looke, swearing as if I meant to have challengd the earth to have opened and swallowed me quicke, and presently fell upon her and beat her: then I turned to the maltman, and lent him a blow or two, for102 he would take no more: he was a stout stiffe olde tough churle, and then I rayld upon them both, and obiected to him how long he had kept my wife, how my neighbors could tell me of it, how the lane thought ill of me for suffering it and now that I had my self taken them together, I would make both him and her smart for it before we parted. The olde foxe that knew the oxe by the horne, was subtill enough to spie a pad in the straw,103 and to see that we went about to crossebite him, wherefore hee stoode stiffe,104 and denied all, and although the whore cunningly on her knees weeping did confesse it, yet the maultman faced her downe,105 and said she was an honest woman for all him,106 and that this was but a coossenage compacted betweene her and me to verse107 and crossbite him for some peece of money for amends,108 but sith hee knew himselfe cleare,109 he would never graunt to pay one penny. I was straight in mine oathes and braved him with sending for the constable, but in vaine, all our pollicies110 could not draw one crosse111 from this crafty olde carle,112 till I gathering my wits together, came over his fallowes113 thus. I kept him still in the chamber, & sent (as though I had sent for the 100

Base fellow. Intervention. 102 But. 103 That is, to recognize a deception (a common saying). 104 Became resolute, firm of purpose. 105 That is, he checked or rebuked her boldly and with confidence. 106 For all he knew. 107 To impose upon. 108 Compensation, restitution, satisfaction. 109 Innocent. 110 Tricks, strategems. 111 Coin. 112 A base fellow, particularly mean in money matters. 113 That is, broke through his defences. 101

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constable) for a freend of mine, an auntient coossener, and one that had a long time beéne a knight of the post,114 marry hee had a faire cloake and a damaske115 coate, that served him to bayle men withall.116 To this periured companion I sent to come as a constable, to make the maltman stoupe, who (readie to execute any villanie that I should plot) came speedily like an auncient welthy citizen, and taking the office of a constable in hand,117 began very stearnly to examine the matter, and to deale indifferently,118 rather favoring the maltman than me: but I complained how long he had kept my wife, he answered I lyed, & that it was a coossenage to crossebite him of his money. Mas119 Constable cunningly made this reply to us both: My frends, this matter is bad, and truly I cannot in conscience but look into it. For you Browne, you complaine how he hath abused your wife along time, & shee partly confesseth as much: he (who seems to bee an honest man, and of some countenance amongst his neighbors) forswears it and saith, it is but a devise to strip him of his mony: I know not whom to beleeve, and therfore this is my best course because the one of you shall not laugh the other to scorn Ile send you all three to the Counter,120 so to answere it before some iustice that may take examination of the matter. The maltman loth to goe to prison, and yet unwilling to part from any pence, saide he was willing to answere the matter before any man of worshippe, but hee desired the constable to favour him that hee might not goe to ward,121 and he would send for a brewer a friend of his to be his baile. In faith saies this cunning old cosener, you offer like an honest man, but I cannot stay so long till he bee sent for, but if you meane as you protest to answer the matter, then leave some pawne and I will let you goe whither you will while122 to morrow, and then come to my house here hard by at a grocers shop, and you and I will goe before a iustice and then cleare your selfe as you may. The maltman taking this crafty knave to be some substantiall citizen, thanked him for his friendship and gave him a seale ring that he wore on his forefinger, promising the next morning to 114

A person prepared to swear to anything for money. A rich fabric, often of silk, woven with elaborate designs and figures. 116 False bail was one of the functions of a knight of the post. 117 That is, pretending to be a constable. 118 Impartially. 119 Master. 120 The Poultry Counter (or Poultry Compter) was a small prison near Cheapside, controlled by a sheriff and used to house debtors, vagrants, etc. 121 Be imprisoned. 122 Until. 115

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meete him at his house. Assoone as my friend had the ring, away walkes he, and while we stood brabling123 together he went to the brewars house with whome this maltman traded and delivered the brewar the ring as a token from the maltman saying he was in trouble, and that he desired him by that token to send him ten pound. The brewar seeing an auntient citizen bringing the message and knowing the maltmans ring, stood upon no tearmes sith he knew his chapman124 would and was able to answere it againe if it were a brace125 of hundreth pounds, delivered him the money without any more adoo, which ten pound at night we shard betwixt us, and left the maltman to talke with the brewar about the repaiment. * * * A pleasant tale how Ned Browne kist a gentlewoman and cut her purse. Thus gentlemen beeing in my dumps,126 I sawe a brave127 countrey gentlewoman comming along from Saint Bartlemewes128 in a satten gowne, and foure men attending upon her: By her side shee had hanging a marvellous rich purse embroydred, and not so faire without but it seemed to be as wel lined within: At this my teeth watered, and as the pray129 makes the thiefe, so necessity and the sight of such a faire purse beganne to muster a thousand inventions in my heade how to come by it: to goe by her and nip130 it I could not, because shee had so many men attending on hir: to watch hir into a presse131 that was in vaine, for going towards S. Iohns streéte, I gest her about to take horse to ride home, because all her men were booted.132 Thus perplexed for this purse, and yet not so much for the boung as the shels:133 I at last resolutely vowed in my selfe to have it though I stretcht a halter for it: and so casting in my head how to bring my fine mistris to the blow,134 at last I performed it thus. Shee standing 123

Quarrelling, squabbling. That is, he knew the maltman as a business man, a trader. 125 A couple of. 126 In low spirits. 127 Handsome. 128 St. Bartholemew’s Hospital, located close to St. Paul’s Cathedral. 129 Prey. 130 Steal. 131 Crowd or throng. 132 With boots on, equipped for riding. 133 That is, not so much for the purse (“boung” or “bung”) as the money (cant terms). 134 That is, into a suitable position to perform the theft. 124

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and talking a while with a gentleman I stept before hir and leaned at the barre135 till I saw hir leave him, and then stalking136 towards hir very stoutly as if I had beene some young cavalier or captaine, I met her and curteously saluted her, & not onely greeted her, but as if I had been acquainted with her I gave her a kisse, and so in taking acquaintance closing very familiarly to her I cut her purse: The gentlewoman seéing me so brave137 used mee kindly, & blushing said, shee knew me not. Are you not Mistres quoth I, such138 a gentlewoman, and such a mans wife? No truly sir, quoth she you mistake me: Then I cry you mercie quoth I, and am sorry that I was so saucily bolde. There is no harme done sir sayde shee, because there is no offence taken, and so we parted, I with a good bung, and my gentlewoman with a kisse, which I dare safely sweare, she bought as deare as ever shee did thing in her life, for what I found in the purse that I keep to my selfe. Thus did I plot devises in my head how to profit myselfe, though it were to the utter undoing of anie one: I was the first that invented the letting fall of the key, which had like to cost me deare, but it is all one, as good then as now: and thus it was. How Ned Browne let fall a key. Walking up and downe Paules,139 I saw where a noble mans brother in England came with certaine gentlemen his freendes in at the west doore, and how hee put up his purse, as having bought some thing in the churchyard:140 I having an eagles eye, spied a good bung containing many shels as I gest, carelesly put up into his sleeve, which drave me straight into a mutinie with my selfe how to come by it. I lookt about me if I could see any of my fellow frends walking there, & straight I found out three or foure trusty foists141 with whom I talkt and conferd about this purse: wee all concluded it were necessary to have it, so wee could plot a meanes how to catch it. At last I set downe the course thus: as soone as the throng grew great, and that there was iustling in Paules for roome, I stept before the

135

Perhaps, as has been suggested, the reference is to some well-known bar or horizontal beam in Smithfield or St. John’s Sreet. 136 Walking with great strides. 137 Gallant. 138 Such and such. 139 St. Paul’s Cathedral was as much a den of thieves then as a house of prayer. 140 The churchyard covered twelve-and-a-half acres, with shops of various kinds crowding the precinct walls. 141 Rogues and cheats, particularly pickpockets.

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gentleman and let fall a key, which stooping to take up, I staid142 the gentleman that he was faine to thrust by mee, while in the presse two of my freends foisted his purse, and away they went withall, and in it there was some twentie pound in gold: Presently putting his hande in his pocket for his handkercher, hee mist his purse, and suspected that he that let fall the key had it; but suppositions are vaine, and so was his thinking seeing he knew me not, for till this day he never set eye of his purse. * * * A merry ieast how Ned Brownes wife was crossebitten in her owne arte. But heere note (gentlemen) though I have done many sleights, and crossbitten sundry persons: yet so long goes the pitcher to the water, that at length it comes broken home. Which proverbe I have seene verified: for I remember once that I supposing to crosbite a gentleman who had some ten pound in his sleeve left my wife to performe the accident,143 who in the ende was crossebitten her selfe: and thus it fel out. She compacted with a hooker,144 whom some call a curber, & having before bargained with the gentleman to tell her tales in her eare all night, hee came according to promise, who having supt and going to bed, was advised by my wife to lay his clothes in the window, where the hookers crome145 might crossbite them from him: yet secretly intending before in the night time to steale his money forth of his sleeve. They beeing in bed together slept soundly: yet such was his chaunce, that he sodenly wakened long before her, & being sore troubled with a laske,146 rose up and made a double use of his chamber pot: that done, he intended to throw it forth at the window, which the better to performe, he first removed his clothes from thence; at which instant the spring of the window rose up of the147 owne accord. This sodainly amazed him so, that he leapt backe, leaving the chamber pot still standing in the window, fearing that the Devill had been at hand. By & by he espyed a faire iron crome come marching in at the window, which in steade of the dublet and hose148 he sought for, sodenly tooke hold of that 142

That is, made him pause. Incident, occurrence (i.e. the theft). 144 A thief who snatches away articles with a hook. 145 A stick with a hook on the end of it. (A cant term, along with “hooker” and “curber.”) 146 A looseness of the bowels, diarrhœa. 147 Its. 148 That is, his clothes. 143

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homely service in the member vessell, and so pluckt Goodman Jurdaine149 with all his contents downe pat on the curbers pate.150 Never was gentle angler so drest, for his face, his head, and his necke, were all besmeared with the soft sirreverence,151 so as hee stunke worse than a jakes farmer.152 The gentleman hearing one cry out, and seeing his messe of153 altogether so strangely taken away, began to take hart to him, and looking out perceived the curber lye almost brained, almost drowned, & well neare poysoned therewith: whereat laughing hartily to himselfe, hee put on his owne clothes, and gotte him secretly away, laying my wives clothes in the same place, which the gentle angler same154 after tooke: but never could she get them againe till this day. This (gentlemen) was my course of life, and thus I got much by villany, and spent it amongst whores as carelessely: I sildome or never listened to the admonition of my freendes, neither did the fall of other men learne me to beware, and therefore am I brought now to this end: Yet little did I think to have laid my bones in Fraunce, I thought (indeed) that Tyburne would at last have shakt me by the necke: but having done villany in England, this was alwaies my course, to slip over into the Low Countries, and there for a while play the souldiour, and partly that was the cause of my comming hither: For growing odious155 in and about London for my filching, lifting, nipping, foysting and crosbiting, that every one held me in contempt, and almost disdained my companie, I resolved to come over into Fraunce, by bearing armes to winne some credite, determining with my selfe to become a true man. But as men, though they chaunge countries, alter not their minds: so given over by God into a reprobate sence,156 I had no feeling of goodnes, but with the dogge fell to my olde vomit,157 and heere most wickedly I have committed sacrilege, robd a church, and done other mischeevous pranks, for which iustly I am condemned and must suffer death: whereby I learne, that revenge deferd is

149

Chamber-pot (jordan). Head. 151 Human excrement (sir-reverence). 152 A man employed to clean out privies (jakes-farmer). 153 Some corruption here: it has been suggested that “of” is superfluous or there is a word missing. 154 Probably “soon.” 155 Hated. 156 That is, one lost in sin. 157 “As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly” (Proverbs 26:11). 150

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not quittanst:158 that though God suffer the wicked for a time, yet hee paies home at length; for while I lasciviously lead a carelesse life, if my friendes warned mee of it, I scoft at them, & if they told me of the gallowes, I would sweare it was my destenie, and now I have proved my selfe no lyar: yet must I die more basely, and bee hangd out at a window. Oh countrymen and gentlemen, I have helde you long, as good at the first as at the last, take then this for a farewell: Trust not in your owne wits, for they will become too wilfull oft, and so deceive you. Boast not in strength, nor stand not on your manhood, so to maintain quarrels; for the end of brawling is confusion: but use your courage in defence of your country, and then feare not to die; for the bullet is an honorable death. Beware of whores, for they be the syrens that draw men on to destruction, their sweet words are inchantments, their eyes allure, and their beauties bewitch: Oh take heede of their perswasions, for they be crocodiles, that when they weepe, destroy.159 Truth is honorable, and better is it to be a poore honest man, than a rich & wealthy theefe: for the fairest160 end is the gallowes, and what a shame is it to a mans freends, when hee dies so basely. Scorne not labour (gentlemen) nor hold not any course of life bad or servile, that is profitable and honest, least in giving your selves over to idlenesse, and having no yeerly maintenance, you fall into many preiudiciall161 mischiefs. Contemne not the vertuous counsaile of a frend, despise not the hearing of Gods ministers, scoffe not at the magistrates, but feare God, honor your prince, and love your country, then God will blesse you, as I hope he will do me for all my manifolde offences, and so Lord into thy hands I commit my spirit, and with that he himselfe sprung out at the window and died. Here by the way you shall understand, that going over into Fraunce, he neare unto Arx162 robd a church, & was therefore condemned, and having no gallowes by, they hangd him out at a window, fastning the roape about the bar: and thus this Ned Browne died miserably, that all his life time had beene full of mischiefe & villany, sleightly163 at his death regarding the state of his soule. But note a wonderfull iudgement of God shewed uppon him after his death: his body beeing taken down, & buried without the 158

Release, acquittal (quittance). “As false as crocodile tears.” This well-known expression comes from an ancient anecdote that crocodiles weep in order to lure their prey, or that they cry for the victims they are eating. 160 Most just. 161 Damaging, harmful. 162 A village in the Aquitaine region, south-western France. 163 Crafty, cunning, subtle. 159

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towne, it is verified, that in the night time there came a company of wolves, and tore him out of his grave, and eate him up, where as there lay many souldiers buried, & many dead carcasses, that they might have prayde on to have filled their hungry paunches. But the iudgments of God as they are iust, so they are inscrutable: yet thus much we may coniecture, that as he was one that delighted in rapine and stealth in his life, so at his death the ravenous wolves devoured him, & pluckt him out of his grave, as a man not worthy to be admitted to the honor of any buryall. Thus have I set downe the life and death of Ned Browne, a famous cutpurse and conny-catcher, by whose example if any be profited, I have the desired ende of my labour. FINIS.

The Last Will and Testament of Lawrence Lucifer, the Olde Wealthy Bachiler of Limbo. Alias, Dicke Devil-Barne, the Griping164 Farmer of Kent165 In the name of Bezle-bub,166 Amen. I Lawrence Lucifer,167 alias, Dicke Devil-barne, sicke in soule but not in body, beeing in perfect health to wicked memorie: doe constitute and ordaine this my last Will and Testament irrevocable, as long as the world shall be trampled on by villanie. Imprimis,168 I Lawrence Lucifer, bequeath my soule to hell, and my bodie to the earth, amongst you all, divide mee and share me equally,169 but with as much wrangling as you can, I pray: and it will be the better if you goe to law for me. 164

Grasping. This is the “final portion” of The Blacke Booke, entered for publication on 22 March, 1604. It is a sequel to Thomas Nashe’s Pierce Penilesse (1592), in which Pierce supplicates the Devil. After rising in person to give answer here, Lucifer ends with his Last Will and Testament before descending again to hell. The pamphlet is usually attributed to Thomas Middleton (the Foreword is signed “T. M.”), but sometimes to Thomas Moffett. Below the title is an ornament and the following information: London. Printed by T. C. for Ieffrey Chorlton. 1604. 166 Beelzebub, the Devil. 167 The same name as in Pierce Penilesse. 168 In the first place. 169 Probably an allusion to the Last Supper. 165

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As touching my worldly-wicked goods, I give and bequeath them in most villanous order following. First, I constitute and ordaine, Leiuetenant Frig-beard, arch-pander of England, my sole heire, of all such lands, closes and gappes,170 as lie within the boundes of my gift: beside, I have certaine houses, tenements,171 and withdrawing roomes172 in Shoreditch, Tunbold-streete, White-Fryers, and Westminster:173 which I freely give and bequeath to the aforesayde leiutenant, and the base heires truly begotten of his villanous body: with this proviso, that hee sell none of the land when hee lacks money; nor make away any of the houses to impaire and weaken the stocke, no not so much as to alter the propertie of any of them, which is to make them honest against their willes, but to traine and muster his wittes upon the Mile-ende174 of his mazard,175 rather to fortifie the territories of Tunboldstreet, and enrich the countie of Pickt-Hatch,176 with all his vitious endevours, golden enticements, and damnable practises. And, leiutenant, thou must dive (as thou usest to doe) into landed novices,177 who have onely wit to be licorish178 and no more, that so their tenants trotting up to London with their quartridges,179 they may pay them the rent, but thou and thy colledge shall receive the money. Let no yong rigle-eyde180 damosell (if her years have strucke twelve once) be left unassaulted, but it must be thy office to lay hard seige to her honestie: and to try if the walles of her mayden-head may be scaled with a ladder of angells:181 for one acre of such wenches will bring in more at yeares ende, then an hundred acres of the best harrowed land betweene Detford and Dover:182 And take this for a note by the way, you must never

170

Enclosed fields (closes) and openings (gappes) in hedges or walls. Parts of houses let out as separate dwellings. 172 Rooms to retire to (for illicit purposes). 173 All haunts of prostitutes. “Tunbold-streete” is a corruption of Turnbull Street (later Turnmill Street), Clerkenwell. 174 The green at Mile End, on the London to Colchester road, served as a militia training ground. 175 Head. 176 A notorious brothel in or near Tunbold Street. 177 Naïve young heirs of land. 178 Wanton, lecherous. 179 Quarterly payments. 180 Wriggle-eyed, which could mean fluttery-eyed and flirtatious or round-eyed (rigol-eyed) and innocent looking. 181 Coins, with a glance at Jacob’s ladder. 182 That is, from one end of Kent to the other. 171

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walke without your dewce, or dewce-ace183 of drabbes, after your booteheeles: for when you are abroad you know not what use you may have for them. And lastly (if you will be well feed by some riotous gallant) you must practize, (as indeed you doe) to winde out184 a wanton velvet-cap and bodkin,185 from the tangles of her shoppe, teaching her (you know how) to cast a cuckolds mist before the eyes of her husband, which is, telling him, shee must see her coozen, new come to towne:186 or that shee goes to a womans labour: when thou knowest well ynough, shee goes to none but her owne: and being set out of the shoppe, (with her man afore her, to quench the jealouzie of her husband) shee by thy instructions shall turne the honest simple fellow off, at the next turning and give him leave to see The Merry Divell of Edmunton, or A Woman Kild with Kindnesse:187 when his mistresse is going her selfe to the same murther. Thousand of such inventions, practizes and devices, I stuffe thy trade withall: beside the luxurious188 meetings at tavernes, ten pound suppers, and fifteene pound reckonings, made up afterwards with riotous egges and muscadine.189 All these female vomites, and adulterous surfets, I give and bequeath to thee, which I hope thou wilt put in practize with all expedition, after my decease: and to that ende, I ordaine thee wholy and solely, my onely absolute, excellent, villanous heire. Item, I give and bequeath to you, Gregory Gauntlet, high thiefe on horse-backe;190 all such summes of money, that are nothing due to you, and to receive them in, whether the parties bee willing to pay you or no. You neede not make many wordes with them, but onely these two: Stand, and deliver; and therefore a true thiefe cannot chuse but be wise, because hee is a man of so very fewe words. I neede not instruct you, I thinke Gregorie, about the politick searching of craftie carryers packes, or ripping up the bowells of wide bootes, and cloake-bagges, I doe not doubt but you have already exercised191 them all. But one thing I especially charge you of: the neglect of which makes many 183

Two (deuce) or three (deuce-ace), in dicing terminology. Lure. 185 A well-to-do female shopkeeper. 186 A cousin from “out of the country” commonly meant a secret lover (also playing on “cozen”). 187 Two contemporary plays, the first anonymous and the second by Thomas Heywood (early 1570s-1641). 188 Lustful. 189 Both aphrodisiacs. 190 A highwayman. 191 Employed. 184

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of your religion tender their wine-pipes192 at Tyburne,193 at least three monthes before their day: that if you chaunce to robbe a vertuous townesman on horse-backe, with his wife uppon a pillion behinde him, you presently speake them faire to walke a turne or two at one side, where binding them both together like man and wife, arme in arme very lovingly: Bee sure you tie them hard ynough, for feare they breake the bondes of matrimonie, which if it should fall out so, the matter would lie sore uppon your neckes the next Sessions194 after, because your negligent tying, was the cause of that breach betweene them. Now, as for your Welch hue and crie195 (the onely nette to catch theeves in) I knowe you avoyde196 well ynough, because you can shift both your beardes and your townes well, but for your better disguising, henceforward I will fit you with a beard-maker of mine owne: one that makes all the false haires for my divells, and all the periwigges197 that are worne by olde courtiers, who take it for a pride in their balde dayes to weare yallowe curles on their foreheads, when one may almost see the sunne goe to bed through the chinkes of their faces. Moreover Gregorie, because I know thee toward ynough, and thy armes full of feates, I make thee Keeper of Come-Parke; Serjant of Salisburie-Plaine;198 Warden of the standing-places; and lastly, Constable of all heaths, holes, high-wayes, and conny-groves:199 hoping that thou wilt execute these places and offices as truely, as Dericke200 will execute his place and office at Tyburne. Item, I give and bequeath to thee Dicke Dogge-man,201 GraundCatchpole,202 (over and above thy bare-bone fees, that will scarse hang

192

Windpipes. A place of execution in London for Middlesex criminals (Tyburn). 194 Courts of justice. 195 An outcry calling for the pursuit of a thief. “Welsh” carries connotations of thievery, lechery, etc. 196 Escape (avoid). 197 Periwigs (or wigs) were fashionable head-dresses at the time, worn by both men and women. 198 Coombe Park and Salisbury Plain were common sites for highway robberies. 199 A wooded area for waylaying unsuspecting victims (or conies). 200 Thomas Derrick, notorious executioner at Tyburn at this time, who introduced a topping lift and pulleys for his hangings. 201 A person who tracks or pursues, especially with evil intent. 202 The much-despised warrant officers (or bum-bailiffs) who gathered taxes and arrested debtors. 193

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wicked flesh on thy backe) all such lurches, gripes and squeezes,203 as may bee wrung out by the fist of extortion. And because I take pittie on thee, wayting so long as thou usest to doe, ere thou canst land one fare at the Counter,204 watching sometimes ten houres together in an ale-house, ever and anon peeping forth and sampling thy nose with the red lattis:205 let him whosoever that falls into thy clutches at night, pay well for thy standing all day: And couzen Richard when thou hast caught him in the moustrap of thy libertie206 with the cheese of thy office, the wire of thy hard fist being clapt downe upon his shoulders, and the backe of his estate almost broken to pieces; then call thy cluster of fellow-vermins together, and sit in triumph with thy prisoner at the upper end of a taverne table, where under the colour207 of showing him favour (as you tearme it) in waiting for bayle, thou and thy counterliche,208 may swallow downe sixe gallons of charnico,209 and then begin to chafe that he makes you stay so long before Peter Bayle210 comes: And here it will not be amisse if you call in more wine-suckers, and damne211 as many gallons againe; for you know your prisoners ransome will pay for all: this is if the partie be flush now, and would not have his credit212 copparde213 with a scurvey counter.214 Another kinde of rest215 you have which is called shoopenny,216 that is, when you will be paide for every stride you take: and if the channell be dangerous and ruffe,217 you will not step over under a noble:218 a very

203

That is, different methods of intimidation and extortion. The Poultry Counter (or Poultry Compter) was a small prison near Cheapside, controlled by a sheriff and used to house debtors, vagrants, etc. 205 A common mark of an ale-house (a lattice painted red). 206 Domain, territory. 207 Appearance. 208 Exact copies or likenesses (leech). 209 A sweet Portuguese wine. 210 Probably a humorous allusion to Peter Bales, a famous penman of the time (and one of the inventors of shorthand writing). 211 Consume. 212 Reputation. 213 Devalued (coppered). 214 Counterfeit coin (also playing on “counter prison”). 215 Arrest. 216 Shoe-penny, a stylish lady’s shoe, tall and cork-columned, and hence viewed here as good for stepping over dangerous channels or drainage-gutters (figurative). 217 Difficult (rough). 218 An English gold coin, worth 6s 8d. 204

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excellent lurch219 to get up the price of your legs, betweene Powleschaine220 and Ludgate.221 But that which likes me beyond measure, is the villanous nature of that arrest which I may fitly tearme by the name of cog-shoulder,222 when you clap223 a both sides like old Rowse224 in Cornewell, and receive double fee both from the creditor and the debter, swearing by the post of your office to shoulder-clap225 the party, the first time he lights upon the limetwigs226 of your liberty, when for a little usurers oyle,227 you allowe him day by day free passage to walke by the wicked precinct of your noses, and yet you will pimple your soules with oathes, till you make them as well favoured as your faces, and sweare he never came within the verge of your eyelids: Nay more, if the creditor were present to see him arrested on the one side, and the party you wot on,228 over the way at the other side, you have such quaint shifts,229 prety hindrances, and most lawyer-like delayes ere you will set forward, that in the meane time he may make himselfe away in some by alley, or rush into the bowells of some taverne, or drinking schoole; or if neither, you will find talke with some sharke-shift by the way, and give him the markes230 of the partie, who will presently start231 before you, give the debter intelligence, and so a rotten fig232 for the catchpole. A most wittie, smooth, and damnable conveyance:233 many such running devices breede in the reynes234 of your offices: beside I leave to speake of your unmercifull dragging a gentleman through Fleet-streete, to the utter confusion of his white feather, and the lamentable spattring of his pearle-colour silke stockins, especially when some sixe of your blacke 219

A cheat, swindle. Paul’s Chain, running south from St. Paul’s churchyard to Carter Lane. 221 Referring to the debtors’ prison at the gate. 222 A cheating (cogging) arrest. 223 Strike a bargain (on). 224 The reference is probably to an actual catchpole, various persons having been suggested. 225 Arrest. 226 Twigs smeared with lime to catch birds. 227 Money. 228 Know about. 229 Evasions, subterfuges. 230 Properties, distinctive features. 231 Set out. 232 Something worthless (a phrase expressing contempt and dismissal). 233 Artifice, cunning device. 234 The discharge of blood or humours from the body, especially from the kidneys (“running of the reins”), commonly associated with gonorrhœa. 220

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dogges of Newgate235 are uppon him at once. Therefore sweete cousen Richard (for you are the neerest kinsman I have) I give and bequeath to you no more then you have already, for you are so well gorged and stuft with that, that one spoonefull of villanie more, would over-lay your stomacke quite, and I feare me make you kicke up all the rest. Item, I give and bequeath to you Benedick Bottomlesse, most deepe cut-purse, all the benefite of pageant-dayes, great market-dayes, ballatplaces,236 but especially the six-pennt roomes237 in play-houses, to cut, dive, or nim,238 with as much speede, arte, and dexteritie, as may be handled by honest rogues of thy qualitie. Nay, you shall not sticke,239 Benedick, to give a shave of your office240 at Powles Crosse in the sermon time:241 but thou holdst it a thing thou mayst doe by law, to cut a purse in Westminster Hall.242 True, Benedicke, if thou be sure the lawe bee on that side thou cutst it on. Item, I give and bequeath to you, old Bias,243 alias, Humfrey Hollowbanke, true cheating bowler, and lurcher,244 the one halfe of all false bettes, cunning hookes, subtill tyes, and crosse-layes,245 that are ventured upon the landing of your bowle, and the safe arriving at the haven of the mistresse,246 if it chaunce to passe all the daungerous rocks and rubs247 of the alley, and be not choackt in the sand, like a merchants ship, before it 235

A popular name for the worst of the catchpoles, regularly found in the literature of the time, one of the best examples being in Luke Hutton’s pamphlet The Blacke Dogge of Newgate (1596). 236 That is, occasions and places of public gatherings, for example open spaces where ballads were sung (“ballat places”). 237 Six-penny rooms, probably those for the more wealthy and prominent patrons. 238 Different types of theft of the cut-purse, including picking pockets (i.e. “to dive”). 239 Hesitate, be unwilling. 240 That is, to give a sample of your swindling and extortion. 241 Paul’s Cross, in St. Paul’s churchyard, was a popular place for public sermons. 242 As well as being used for ceremonies and coronation banquets, Westminster Hall served as the country’s highest court. 243 A bowling term, referring to the oblique construction of the bowl. 244 Bowling alleys were popular during the Elizabethan Age, and afforded many opportunities for swindling. “Lurcher” means cheater, but it was also a technical term in the game of bowls. 245 Different methods of cheating, for example cross-lays were wagers meant to deceive. 246 That is, the ball at which the players aimed in bowls. 247 “Rocks” and “rubs” are different obstacles by which a bowl is hindered in its proper course.

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comes halfe way home, which is none of your fault (youle say and sweare) although in your owne turnde-conscience you know, that you threwe it above three yardes short out of hand, upon very set purpose. Moreover, Humfrey, I give you the lurching of all yong novices, citizens sonnes, and countrey gentlemen, that are hookt in by the winning of one twelve-penny game at first, lost upon policy,248 to bee cheated of twelve-pounds worth-a bets afterward. And olde Bias, because thou art now and then smelt out for a coosner,249 I would have thee sometimes goe disguisde (in honest apparell) and so drawing in amongst bunglers and ketlers,250 under the plaine freeze251 of simplicitie, thou mayst finely couch the wrought-velvet of knavery. Item, I give and bequeath to your coosen german252 here, Francis Finger-false, Deputie of Dicing-houses, all cunning lifts, shifts, and couches,253 that ever were, are, and shall be invented, from this houre of a leven-clocke254 upon Blacke Munday,255 untill it smite twelve a clocke at doomes-day: and this I know, Francis, if you doe endevour to excell, as I know you doe, and will truely practize falsely, you may live more gallanter farre upon three dice, then many of your foolish heires about London, uppon thrice three hundred acres. But turning my legacie to you-ward, Barnaby256 Burning-glasse,257 Arch Tabacco-taker of England, in ordinaryes,258 upon stages both common and private, and lastly, in the lodging of your drabbe and mistresse: I am not a little proud, I can tell you Barnaby, that you daunce after my pipe so long: and for all counterblasts259 and tabacco Nashes260 (which some call raylers) you are not blowne away, nor your fierie thirst

248

By trickery, craftiness. Cheater (cozener). 250 Clumsy, foolish folk (perhaps referring here particularly to unskilled bowlers). 251 A coarse woollen cloth. 252 Closely related, akin (also germane). 253 Different kinds of trickery and theft (related here to gaming). 254 That is, eleven o’clock at night. 255 Easter Monday, traditionally an unlucky day, apparently when the Antichrist Lucifer was abroad. 256 Probably either Barnaby Rich, who ironically was strongly opposed to tobacco taking, or Barnabe Barnes, who sided with Harvey against Nashe on this issue. 257 A lens for lighting fires. 258 Popular eating houses. 259 An allusion to King James’s treatise A Counterblaste to Tobacco (1604). 260 Playing on “ashes” and, immediately afterwards, on the “railing” attacks of Nashe. 249

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quencht with the small penny-ale261 of their contradictions, but still suck that dug of damnation, with a long nipple, still burning that rare Phaenix of Phlegiton262 tabacco, that from her ashes burnt and knockt out, may arise another pipefull: Therefore I give and bequeath unto thee, a breath of all religions, save the true one, and tasting of all countries, save His owne: a brayne well sooted, where the muses hang up in the smoake like red herrings: and looke how the narrow alley of thy pipe showes in the inside, so shall all the pipes through thy body. Besides, I give and bequeath to thy lungs, as smooth as jet, and just of the same colour, that when thou art closed in thy grave, the wormes may be consumed263 with them, and take them for blacke puddings.264 Lastly, not least, I give and bequeath to thee Pierce-pennelesse,265 exceeding poore scholler, that hath made cleane shooes in both universities, and bene a pittifull batler266 all thy life time, full often heard with this lamentable cry at the buttry-hatch;267 Ho Lancelot, a cewe268 of bread, and a cewe of beere, never passing beyond the confines of a farthing, nor once munching commons,269 but onely upon gaudy dayes:270 To thee most miserable Pierce, or pierced through and through with miserie, I bequeath the tythe of all vaulting-houses,271 the tenth deneere272 of each Heigh passe Come a loft:273 beside the playing in and out of all wenches at thy pleasure, which I know as thou maist use it, wil be such a fluent pension,274 that thou shalt never have need to write Supplication275 againe.

261

A weak ale, selling at a penny a gallon. Phlegethon, one of the five rivers of fire in Hades. 263 Destroyed. 264 Blood sausages. 265 See above, p. 117, n. 165. 266 A member of the lowest economic rank of undergraduates at Oxford University. 267 The half-door over which provisions from the college buttery (i.e. the place for ale, bread, butter, etc.) are served. 268 Cue, a small portion (regarded as half a farthing at Oxford University). 269 That is, eating at the common table. 270 Holidays at Oxford University. 271 Brothels. 272 Worth about one-tenth of an English penny. 273 Juggler’s cry or trick (here “to come aloft” means to have an erection or to mount sexually). 274 Generous payment or outlay. 275 That is, Pierce Penilesse (addressing Nashe directly here). 262

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Now for the especiall trust and confidence I have in both you, Mihell276 Mony God, usurer, and Leonard Lavender,277 broker, or pawne-lender, I make you two my full executors, to the true disposing of all these my hellish intents, wealthy villanies, and most pernicious damnable legacies. And now kinsmen and friends, winde about me, my breath begins to coole, and all my powers to freese. And I can say no more to you nephewes then I have saide, only this, I leave you all like rats-bane to poyson the realme. And I pray, be all of you as arrant villaines as you can be, and so farewel, be all hangde, and come downe to me as soone as you can. This saide, he departed to his moulton kingdome, the winde risse, the bottome of the chayre flew out, the scrivener fell flat upon his nose, and here is the end of a harmelesse morrall. FINIS.

Looke on Me London: I Am an Honest English-man, Ripping Vp the Bowels of Mischiefe, Lurking in Thy Sub-vrbs and Precincts278 To the Right Honorable, Sir Thomas Middleton, Knight, Lord Maior of the most famous citty of London. Right Honorable, as to the fairest ornament of this glorious citty, doe I most humbly dedicate this my small discovery of abuses; wherein is 276

Obsolete form of Michael (playing on “my hell”). “To lay in lavender” is to pawn. 278 This pamphlet, by Richard Johnson (1573-c. 1659), is one of many written during these years that deals with the practices of London thieves and swindlers, a literary tradition begun with John Awdeley’s The Fraternity of Vagabonds (1661) and popularized in the early 1590s by Robert Greene, who coined the term “conycatching.” Its sub-title reads: Take Heed the Hangmans Halter, and the Beadles Whip, Will Make the Foole Dance, and the Knaue to Skip. Recent evidence suggests that Johnson drew heavily here upon the work of George Whetstone, particularly from his Mirror for Magistrates (1584). Below the title is an ornament and the following information: London, Printed by N. O[kes]. for Thomas Archer, and are to bee sold at his shop in Popes-Head Palace neere the Royall Exchange. 1613. 277

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declared some of the hidden evils harboured in the bowels of London, for the which I know your Honour is as ready to finde reformation, as you are willing to heare them reported: for in the first yeare of the Kings Maiesties reigne279 (your Lordship being then shriefe280 of this citty) you made your visitations in the sub-urbs, and out-places of the precincts of London, to enquire after evil livers, and by iustice strove to root out iniquity, which good beginning will eternize your glory, and establish prosperity in this worthy citty. And no doubt but your Honours sore-passed281 care, in comforting the good, and bridling the wicked, hath impressed an inward love in the hearts of the commons,282 and bred an assurance in your happy proceeding, for it concerneth the prosperity of all our children and kinsfolkes, and a benefite to the whole estate of the youth of this citty. I (onely) of zeale in these few sheets of paper, have discovered283 unsufferable faults, but not spoke of the faulty men, whom I referre to your wisedome to be considered of. To your Honours censure do I present this my travell,284 and at your commandment my selfe; vowing in the action of a poore Free-man of London,285 to seeke the good of this famous citty, and shew my selfe willing for your Honours imploiment. Your Honours poore well-wisher, R. I.286 To the yong men of London, as well gentlemen as others. I am perswaded, that in this dedication, I doe salute the most part of all the yong gentlemen of England, in that they either dwell, or have beene in this worthy citty of London, where they have seene many wanton alectives287

279

James I became King of England in 1603. Since the early Middle Ages, two sheriffs of London were elected annually, subordinate only to the mayor in running the city and having important judicial responsibilities. 281 Surpassing. 282 Ordinary people. 283 Revealed. 284 Work (travail). 285 A medieval title which, by this time, meant that its holder was protected by the London’s charter and had certain ancient rights and privileges. 286 That is, Richard Johnson. 287 Enticements, temptations. 280

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to unthriftines, which, like to inchanting adamant rockes,288 drawes gold and silver as fast as iron and steele. Therefore (yong men) you must bee armed with more experience then the capacity of yong yeares, or else, assure your selves, repentance will un-loose your fetters:289 for truely, I cannot see, how yong men of the best education can scape untangled, when vice is so conversant with elder yeares. O how happy were it for your posterity, if all dicing-houses, and allies290 of gaming were suppressed in, and about this citty: from which, if you cannot bee drawne, this little booke will guide you safe, and give you faire warnings of many of your companions falles. I beseech you bee advised, and learne to shun these mischiefes by other mens harmes, that the reward of this my writing may prove fortunate, and my selfe happy to see you thrive and flourish. I dedicate this booke to the honourable magistrate to whom appertaineth the correction of evill livers, your worst enemies; I meane the sucking shifters291 now secretly lurking in the circuits292 of this famous citty, of whom his good Honour, I hope, will ease you,293 and make you prosperous by the reformation. So, leaving to trouble you with a tedious induction,294 I end at this time, but in no time will leave to be Your wel-wishing friend. R. I. A Countrey-mans Councell. Given to His Sonne, at His Going Up to Dwell at London, Being a True Touch-stone295 for This Age, Found Out by Time and Experience. London, where thou intendest to goe (sonne William) and set up thy lives resting place, is at this day (as thou knowest) the capitall citty of our countrey, and the paragon of Christendome, a place of much honour and reputation, as well in respect of reverent governement, as sumptuous building and riches: London (I say) is the strength and ornament of this 288

Imaginary magnetic rocks or minerals, sometimes associated with the loadstone. 289 Restraints. 290 Alleys. 291 Tricksters. 292 Environs. 293 Will relieve or free you. 294 Introduction. 295 Standard, criterion.

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wel-governed land; unto which place every gentleman, and almost every yeoman296 of ability, sendeth the ripest witted of his children, either to studdy the common lawes of England, or become merchants to enrich their countrey; wherein the love of a father to his sonne is discharged, and the duty of a friend to his countrey performed. But yet take this admonition from me thy father: In this good citty are many alectives to unthriftinesse, by which meanes, where the father hath beene at charge297 to make his sonne a lawyer, to doe his countrey service, or a merchant or tradesman to become a good member to this flourishing citty, his aforesaid sonne (for want of government)298 many times spends his whole substance, to the utter undoing of his posterity, and great shame of his kindred. Therefore take heed my sonne, one scabbed299 sheepe infecteth a whole flocke; and one wastfull prodigall makes a swarme of unthrifts: of which many there be now, that live in, and about the citty of London, that will quickly seize upon thee, and such fond300 yong men as thou art, and by their lewd conditions draw thee from study, or from thy other businesse, and bring thee acquainted with their wicked consorts and companions; and where must it be but in ordinaries,301 dicing-houses, bowling-allies, brothel-houses, and such like, where their bravery,302 revelling, and merry company, is able to bring a staid303 man into their fellowship; but much more easier a light headed yong man, as thou art, and such as comes unexperienced out of the countrey, as now thou doest. But now, being intangled in their fellowship, first pride infecteth thee with a desire to be as brave as the best; where if thou hast living,304 either in possession, or possibility, thou shalt finde sweet baits amongst them to choake thee withal: for many of these places aforesaid nourish moft dangerous and wicked guests, which will quickly close305 with the unexperienced yong man, and of his ability maintaine themselves cunningly like gentlemen, which bee gallant shifters, cunning pandors, and covetous brokers.306 296

A countryman of good standing, under the rank of a gentleman. At pains. 298 Proper conduct, discretion. 299 Diseased. 300 Foolish, naïve. 301 Eating houses or taverns. 302 Bravado, boldness and ostentation (including dress). 303 Steady, upright. 304 An endowment or property. 305 Approach. 306 Dealers in money, etc. 297

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First, the gallant shifter, like a cunning companion, in apparrell, countenance & boldnesse, will checke mate307 with men of right good worship, when he himselfe (perhaps) in a greene thicket by the high-way side, with a masked face, a pistoll, and a whip-cord,308 gets his whole inheritance. But the manner of such cunning shifts309 I thinke necessary to conceale, lest the reports prove more hurtfull to the evill inclined, then the admonition profitable to the well-disposed: But this I assure thee of, (as many a gentlemans undoing witnesseth) that these expert shifters, by false dice, slippery casting,310 and other like slights,311 dally with yong novisses so long, till they make their purses a poore penylesse banquet. And (my sonne) bee thou thus conceited;312 that the man that is enticed to bee a dicer, of his owne accord will become a whore-maister, where a few of ordinary dinners in that kinde, will waste a great deale of his substance. But some will say, the want of acquaintance will keepe him chaste: but I conclude with the proverbe: Mony will hire a guide to goe to the Divell. And surely at such ordinary meetings as be in bowling-allies, and dicinghouses, a man may finde many of these neat313 pandors, such as onely live upon brokage of love,314 fellowes that will procure a womans acquaintance for a dumbe315 man; these bee no bashfull companions, but such as glory in their base faculty, their common talke will bee of ribaldry, and matter of like purpose. And to conclude, hee will take advantage of time and place, and cunningly blow a meeting of faire women into my yong maisters eares, and then his company needeth not to bee requested: for presently desire maketh him mad for their meeting. Where? hee cryes, Come let us goe; and so, with more haste then good speede, hies to some blinde316 brothell house about the sub-urbs, or skirts of the citty, where (peradventure) for a pottle317 or two of wine, the embracement of a painted

307

Utterly defeat, discomfit. That is, by means of highwaymen’s tactics. 309 Stratagems, devices. 310 Throwing of the dice. 311 Trickery, artifices (also sleights). 312 Aware. 313 Finely dressed. 314 Pimping. 315 Foolish, ignorant. 316 Windowless. 317 A two-quart container. 308

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strumpet, and the French welcome318 for a reckoning, the yong novice payeth forty shillings, or better. Yet for all this, my brave shifter hath a more costly reckoning to give him, for being thus growne into acquaintance, hee will in a familiar kinde of curtesie, accompany him up and downe the citty, and in the end will come unto a mercers319 or gold-smiths shoppe, of whom the yong gentleman is well knowne, there will he cheapen320 velvet, satten, iewels, or what him liketh, and offer his new friends credit for the payment, he will with so bold a countenance aske this friendship, that the gentleman shall bee to seeke of excuse321 to deny him: Well, although the penyworths322 of the one bee not very good, yet the payment of the other is sure to bee currant.323 Thus, by prodigall ryots,324 vaine325 company, and rash suretiship,326 many of our English yong gentlemen, ar[e] learned to say I wealthy was of late, Though needy now be; Three things have chang’d my state, Dice, wine, and venerie.327 But to our purpose. The delights of these tabling-houses328 are so pleasant and tempting, that a man when hee hath there lost all his money, will be most willing, even in the place of his undoing, to stand moneylesse, and bee an idle looker on, of other mens unthriftinesse. After all this, there seizeth upon the needy gentleman thus consumed, another devouring caterpiller, which is the broker for money: one that is either an old bankerout329 citizen, or some smooth-conditioned330 unthrifty gentleman farre in debt, some one of these will helpe him to credit with 318

Venereal disease. A dealer in textiles, especially silks, velvets and other such costly materials. 320 Shop for. 321 That is, find it difficult. 322 The value or worth in money, suggesting a very small amount (pennyworths). 323 Flowing abundantly, fluent (figurative). 324 Riotous living. 325 Worthless, idle. 326 Guaranteeing the payment of another’s debt, etc. (suretyship). 327 The practice or pursuit of sexual pleasure, sexual indulgence (venery). 328 Gambling-houses, especially for playing backgammon. 329 Bankrupt. 330 Of an agreeable disposition, with a show of sincerity. 319

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some of their late creditors, with a single protestation of meere curtesie.331 But, by your favour,332 they will herein deale most cunningly: for the citizen broker (after money taken out for his paines, consideration for the time given, and losse in selling of the wares put together) will bring the yong gentleman fifty pounds currant money for a hundred pounds good debt.333 Mary334 the gentleman broker will deale more gallanter,335 for he will be bound with his fellow gentleman for a hundred pound, sharing the money equally betweene them, not without solemne promise to discharge his owne fifty, and if need be, the whole hundred pounds assurance.336 But let all these mischiefes goe: Here is want supplied, which breakes brazen337 walles, & money received, which betrayeth kingdoms, & for the same, nothing but inke, wax, and parchment delivered, which is a merry exchange, if a man should be alwayes thus busied in receiving, and never finde leasure for the repaiment. But oh thou un-happy yong gentleman, whatsoever thou be, that art matched, heere must I breathe awhile, and admonish thee with a few notes of my councell of experience: for I know thy covetous desire of money is such, and so great, that thou hadst rather become debter for forty pounds, then to spare forty shillings out of thy purse: therefore take this lesson from a tongue of experience. Thou wert better give one of these fellowes ten pound, then to bee bound for fifteene, for what so remaineth thou savest, when all that thou ventrest,338 thou loosest: And be thou assure, though thou wilt finde no time to satisfie thy covenant, yet will thy creditor worke thee an arrest, which (untill hee bee fully contented and payd) will give thee little ease, and lesse liberty. But I feare me, all in vaine doe I give this councell to a prodigall, that is tied to covetousnesse with silver linkes; for prodigality and covetousnesse chained together, are two extreme passions, & so violent, that no physicke339 can cure, but beggary & death: Beggary is the end of prodigality, & death the end of covetousnesse: yet in my minde of them both the covetous man is the 331

That is, with a seemingly courteous gesture. A remark used as an apology when taking a liberty (similar to “by your leave”). 333 That is, in borrowing £100 the gentleman will receive only half of it. 334 An exclamation (Holy Mary in full), basically invoking the name of Mary, Jesus’s mother, similar to “why, to be sure.” 335 More courteously or politely. 336 Guarantee, pledge of repayment. 337 Brass. 338 Risked (ventured). 339 Medicine. 332

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worser: for with his riches he doth no man good, no not so much as himselfe, when the prodigall by the undoing of himselfe enricheth many: therefore, the best that may be said of the prodigall, concludeth an undoing of himselfe and his posterity. I have read in the workes of a famous phylosopher, which faith,340 The prodigall man never observeth time, beginning, nor end, untill ryot hath consumed him and his patrimony. And where is it consumed, but in ordinaries, dicing-houses, bowling allies, and such like assemblies, which if they were suppressed, many a mans land would be kept from selling, many a mans necke from the halter, and the common-wealth341 (perhaps) from further mischiefes. And from my heart I wish, that upon the gate or dore of every tabling-house, and bowling-alley might bee set a whip and a halter for a signe; then surely all unthrifts and their associates would be ashamed to come to those places, unlesse shame had utterly forsooke them. I have but yet begun to anatomize342 the head of these sanctuaries of iniquity; there are heapes and whole bodies of evils follow: The deceite of dice, the charge of strumpets, the sleight of cousenage,343 and the cunning of brokage, is all that I have yet layd upon our wilde-headed yong gentlemen, which (like carrions) onely prey upon gold, silver, and such like carriage:344 these bee but sucking flyes, the biting scorpions come after; even as a bird that hath but one feather limed,345 by striving fettereth her whole body: so the unfortunate yong gentleman, which is brought behinde hand by the hazard of dice, through a vaine hope to redeeme himselfe, followeth his mischiefe, to the spending of the last payment of all his estate; and then (to helpe him forward) some one spy of the lawe, or other: namely, a petty-fogger346 (the reverence done unto the lawe, and good lawyers reverenced) is evermore sneaking into the company of rich heires, and still keepes an alphabet347 of all such gentlemens names that frequenteth these common gaming-houses; his eyes are setled upon their dispositions,348 and his exercise is daily to search the rolles, and the office

340

Who says. State, nation. 342 Analyze, lay open minutely. 343 Cheating, fraud (cozenage). 344 Movable property or possessions. 345 Twigs and the like were smeared with lime for the purpose of catching birds. 346 A rascally attorney. 347 Record. 348 The making over or transfer of deeds and wills. 341

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of the statutes, to learne what recognizances,349 morgages, and statutes do charge350 their lands. This is the pernitious broker, the other helped the needy gentleman to money, at fifty in the hundred losse, but hee helpeth him to sell land at five yeares purchase. I must heere digresse from the prodigality of the gentleman, unto the covetousnesse and usury351 (I cannot well say) of the citizen, although he dwelleth in the citty, for the true citizen, (whereof London hath plenty) liveth upon his calling,352 bee hee a merchant venturing abroad, or tradesman living at home: But these shames of good cittizens, I meane such as tradeth but only to a gaming-house, or at the furthest travelleth but to a bowling-alley, a horse-rifling,353 the meeting of gentlemen at an ordinary, and such like. There with ease and safety doe these fellowes gather wealth and riches as fast as the good cittizen with much hazard, and farre travels. These caterpillers come not thither, to play the un-thrifts, but to prey upon un-thrifts, and yet for company, and to avoyde suspition, they will sometimes play the good-fellowes, and now and then sport a pound or two. These men need not too greedily seeke for purchases, for the necessity of decaying gentlemen, and yong cittizens, will make them faire offers, and their spyes (as I sayd before) will give them knowledge where there is sound dealing. Now amongst these fellowes, there is such deceite, coloured with cleanly354 shifts, as many gentlemen are for a trifle shifted out of their livings without hope of recovery for it is well knowne, that the extremity and hard dealing of such men, hath impressed a naturall mallice in the hearts of gentlemen against citizens, in so much that if a gentleman purpose to scoffe a cittizen, hee will call him, a trimme355 merchant. Likewise the cittizen scoffing the gentleman, will call every common fellow, a iolly gentleman. Truly, truly, in my minde, this mortal envy betweene these two worthy estates, was first begotten by the cruell usage of covetous merchants in 349

Bonds or obligations recorded before a court or magistrate. Burden, place a load on. 351 Until the late sixteenth century, the taking of interest on loans was forbidden by Christian churches and referred to as “usury.” 352 That is, his proper profession. 353 Raffle. 354 Clever. 355 “Fine,” “nice” (ironical). 350

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former ages, by hard bargaines gotten of gentlemen; and still nourished as revenges taken of both parties. Thus one mischiefe drawes on another, and in my opinion gaming houses are the chiefe fountaines thereof: which wicked places first nourisheth our yong men of England in pride, then acquainteth them with sundry shifting companions, whereof one sort cozeneth them at dice and cardes, another sort consume them with riotous meetings, another sort by brokage bringeth them in debt, and out of credite; and then awaiteth covetousnesse and usury to sease356 upon their livings, and the officious sergiant357 upon their liberties: and all this (as I said before) principally proceeds by the frequenting of gaming houses. But let us now search deeper into these wounds of a common-wealth, for if wee consider all things aright, there is more fouler matter behind, and such things as makes my heart bleed to thinke of; we have but yet spoken of those gaming houses, which are chiefly for the entertainement of courtiers and gentlemen, the others bee of a more private standing, which be called common-houses,358 where the vulgar and inferiour sort of people resort, such as have poore wives and children, and families to care for, surely, the inconvenience cannot chuse but bee great, when a poore man leaveth his house, and the company of his wife and family, and dineth abroad amongst gaimesters, whose wits bee still labouring which way to deceive him. This order me thinkes is a bad order, and a breach of credite,359 to see a trades-man, or one that gets his living by the sweate of his browes, to eate and drinke abroad; unlesse one neighbour invite another, but sufferance360 hath brought this disorder to such a custome, that it is now made a daily practice amongsts our poorer sort of cittizens. Marry, the maisters of these gaming houses want361 no guests, for where carion is, crowes will be plenty, and where mony is stirring, theaters will not be idle. Yong cittizenes, for the most part, depend upon their credite, and, therefore are loath that there should be an open knowledge of their unthriftinesse: all the better (I say) for the biting cheater, for close in a

356

Seize. An officer of the law, charged with arresting offenders or summoning them to appear before the court (sergeant). 358 Houses of common resort, for dining, gambling and sexual pleasure (referred to below as “privy houses”). 359 Trust. 360 Tolerance. 361 Lack. 357

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chamber one of these cogging362 knaves getteth more money in an howre, then many an honest man spendeth in one yeare. But above others, this one thing is much to be lamented, by this vaine delight, unthrifty cittizens consume other mens goods, who (perhaps) laboured painefully to get them, when gentlemen, although that they undoe their posterity, spend but their owne goods and lands. The eares of the magistrates are daily full of the breaking of yong marchants, and here I lay before their eyes, the causes thereof; even these wicked meeting places, they bee places unto which magistrates come not, and therefore the abuses unknowne unto them, but I thinke it a worke of much honesty to reveale them, and in the magistrate a worke of more iustice to reforme them; and although this be true that I write; and the evils more then I will speake of, yet I finde my conscience free from their shifts, as I presume that no man (as faulty) will or can reprehend mee for those kind of courses; and to keepe my selfe more cleere from them, I will passe by those streetes, where these vile houses are planted, and blesse363 mee from the inticements of them, which in deed are many and more dangerous, in that they please with a vaine hope of gaine. There now comes into my mind, a pretty saying of a distemperate364 dicer, which solemnly did sweare, that he beleeved, that dice were first made of the bones of a witch, and cardes of her skin, in which there hath ever since remained a kinde of inchantment, that whosoever once taketh delight in either, shall never have power utterly to leave them: for, quoth hee, a hundred times have I vowd to leave both, yet have I not the grace365 to forsake either: But now againe to the possibility of reformation to overcome this inticing mischiefe. If the magistrates survai’d but these vile houses by honest conservators,366 you should finde the painefull travels367 of capitall368 magistrates much eased, many mens lives shall bee saved, gentlemen have more land, and cittizens greater store of money, which mettle369 is the greatest strength of a citty, for where money is not scarce, trafficke is plenty, which supporteth all citties: but to my purpose, these devilish

362

Deceitful, cunning. Protect, save. 364 Intemperate, excessive. 365 Strength of character. 366 Judicial officials. 367 Burdensome work (travails). 368 Chief, senior. 369 Money (metal). 363

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houses are causes, that marchants have so much land, and gentlemen so little governement. I have alredy showne, to what extremity the better sort of these houses bring a number of our florishing yong gentlemen; to what misery the second sort, (called ordinaries for cittizens) bring a great number of yong marchants. Now remaineth the discovery of the third sort of these haunts, which are placed in the sub-urbs of the citty, in allies, gardanes, and other obscure corners, out of the common walkes of the magistrates. The daily guestes of these privy houses, are maister-lesse men, needy shifters, theeves, cut-purses,370 unthrifty servants, both serving-men and prentises:371 Here a man may picke out mates for all purposes save such as are good: here a man may find out fellowes, that for a pottle of wine, will make no more conscience to kill a man, then a butcher a beast: Here closely lie Saint Nicholas clearkes,372 that with a good northerne gelding,373 will gaine more by a halter,374 then an honest yeoman will with a teame of good horses: Here are they that will not let375 to deceive their father, to rob their brother, and fire their neighbours house for an advantage. These brave companions will not sticke376 to spend frankly377 though they have neither lands nor goods by the dead,378 nor honesty by nature: But how will this hold out? Fire will consume wood without maintenance, and ryot make a weake pursse without supply. Gentlemen (for the most part) have lands to make money, and the yong cittizens [a] way to get credite; but these idle fellowes have neither lands nor credite, nor will live by any honest meanes or occupation: yet have they hands to filtch, heads to deceive, and friends to receive,379 and by these helpes, moft commonly, shift they badly well. The other upon currant assurance, perhaps, get money for twenty markes,380 or twenty pound in the hundred, but these that worst may hold 370

Thieves, particularly pickpockets. Apprentices. 372 Highwaymen, St. Nicholas being the patron saint of thieves. 373 A castrated horse. 374 A rope for leading or tying up horses (symbolic). 375 Hesitate. 376 Hesitate, scruple. 377 Freely. 378 Deed. 379 That is, to accept stolen goods (i.e. a fence). 380 In England the mark never appeared as a coin, but was used as a unit of account. 371

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the candle;381 they upon their owne, or upon their maisters apparell, brasse, pewter, linnen, wollen, or such like, will find brokers or friperers,382 that for eight pence in the pound for every monthes use, will boldly for halfe the valew take these pawnes. Surely, it seemeth that this famous citty is sore charged with these make-shiftes,383 considering that so many streetes and laines are filled with these petty brokers, or cherish-theeves,384 I pray God that in the principall places and streets of the citty there bee not of this faculty, that will make fifty or three-score pound profite in the hundred, which is sweete gaine: I have heard some say, that a double pawne taketh away the feare of the statute,385 which is a Jewish usury,386 and high time to bee rooted out of our Christian government. Some of these kind of covetous usurers, are so hard-hearted that I doubt they neither feare God, nor reverence man, neither will they pardon father, nor acknowledge mother, but will make marchandise of their owne children, they will neither regard brother or kindred, nor yet keepe faith with their friends; but beare false witnesse, offend the widdow, and oppresse the orphant, oh how great is this folly of theirs: to loose life, to seeke death, and to banish themselves from heaven eternally. I have heard some of that profession say, that usury (I mean brokage)387 is turn’d from a sin to an occupation, because being esteemed as a trade, they would be accounted honest men, but rather in my minde they be termed theeves, for the broker agreeth before, with the borrower, to receive more then was borrowed, because before hee steale, hee tels the party how much he will steale, as though hee stole by law; nay, I may say, without law, for, like a mistery,388 these brokers have devised more sorts 381

That is, these are the worst sort of evil-doers (from the phrase “to hold a candle to the devil”). 382 Dealers in cast-off clothing (fripperers). 383 Shifty persons, rogues (makeshifts). 384 Back-street thieves (“cherish” being the adjectival form of “chare,” a narrow lane or alley). 385 The double pawn was a trick of some kind to avoid the law against excessive interest. 386 Throughout much of the sixteenth century, interest charged on loans was prohibited both by English law and Christian churches. Even when the civil statute was repealed in 1576, a prejudice against “usury” (as it was commonly known) remained for some time. Although it was widely practised by Christian goldsmiths and merchants, a substantial proportion of money-lenders were Jews. 387 The trade of a broker, specifically referring here to the profit derived from buying and selling for a commission. 388 A hidden or secret thing beyond human knowledge or comprehension (mystery).

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of lending upon pawnes then there bee trickes at cardes, but I am affraid to shew you them, lest I should teach you to bee of that kind; but yet some few examples will I heere venture on, as hereafter followeth, the parties I do know now resident in London. I know a broker that will take no interest for his money, but will have the lease of your house, or your land, in use, receiving rent for the same till you pay your principall againe, which will come to a greater gaine then three-score in the hundred. I know another that will take no interest money, but will have pewter, brasse, sheetes, plate,389 table-clothes, napkins, and such-like things, to use in his house, till his money come home, which will loose more in the wearing390 then the interest of the money will come to. I know another that will take a pawne twice worth the money that hee lends, and agree with the borrower to redeeme it at a day,391 or loose it; by which meanes the poore borrower is forced sometimes for want of money to loose his pawne for halfe the valew. I know another that will not lend, but buy at small prices, and covenant with the borrower to buy the same againe, at such a price, at such a day, or loose it, this is a fellow that seekes to cozen the law, but let him take heed, least the Devill his good maister cozens not him, and at the last carry him post392 into hell. I know another that will lend out his money to men of occupations, as to butchers, bakers, and such like, upon condition to bee partners in their gaines, but not in their losses, by which means, hee that takes all the paines, and ventures all, is forced to give the broker halfe the profits for his money. I know another, for his money-lending to a carpenter, a bricke-layer, or a plaisterer, will agree with them for so many daies worke, or so many weekes, for the loane of his money; which, if all reckonings bee cast will come to a deere interest. I know many about this citty that will not bee seene to bee brokers themselves, but suffer their wives to deale with their money, as to lend a shilling for a peny a weeke to fish-wives, oister-women, oringe-wenches and such like: these be they that looke about the citty like rats and weasels, to gnaw poore people alive, and yet go invisible. This, if it be well considered of is a Jewish brokage, for in deed, the Jewes first brought usury & brokage into England, which now by long 389

Utensils for the table and domestic use, originally of silver and gold. Use. 391 On a day specified. 392 Swiftly. 390

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sufferance have much blemished the ancient vertues of this kingdome: let us but remember this one example, how that in the time of King Henry the Third, the good cittizens of London, in one night slew five hundred Iewes,393 for that a Iew tooke of a Christian a penny in the shilling usury, and ever after got them banished the citty; but, truely these brokers aforesaid deserve worse then Iewes, for they be like unto strumpets, for they receive all mens money, as well the beggars as the gentlemans; nay, they will themselves take money upon brokage, to bring their trade into a better custome,394 which in my minde is a wicked custome to live onely by sinne. The good magistrates I hope will over-looke395 these evils, least these evils over-rule their posterity, but especially these tabling houses, wherein so many hundred shifters maintaine themselves gallantly, to the undoing of a number of good gentlemen, cittizens, trades-men and such-like; for if the shifters in, and within the level396 of London, were truely mustered,397 I dare boldly say they would amaze a good army.398 I would their close coverts399 were discovered, and then no doubt but justice would find their faults, or repentance shew their amendment.400 To conclude, it is every mans case in this land that hath care of his posterity, to be suitors for reformation, the evill hereof even perisheth the marrow and strength of this happy realme, I meane the ability of the gentry is much weakened, and many good cittizens almost wasted by haunting of these ungracious houses: if this my discovery bee considered of by wisedome, I presume it will prove beneficiall to this glorious monument of the land, London I meane, which the Lord blesse and keepe in this her wonted prosperity, Amen. FINIS.

393

The massacre took place in Easter Week, 1264. Practice. 395 Examine. 396 Jurisdiction. 397 Honestly gathered together. 398 That is, their numbers would astound or alarm a large army. 399 Secret hiding places. 400 Reformation. 394

SOCIAL DRAMA

With drama’s roots universally understood to lie in religion, British drama might properly be seen arising from the ritual prayers, songs and dance of druid worship in the clearings of a densely wooded countryside. Then, with expanded human settlement it began a journey into the open—to village greens and squares, common land and church precincts, and finally into towns. Indeed, vestiges of its pagan beginnings survived for centuries in nature-honouring practices: Mayday processions and singing, maypole dancing, and to this day well-dressing rituals at churches in Northern England. Although the great medieval drama cycles of Chester, Coventry and Wakefield, with their diet of knockabout humour, violent conflict and Christian doctrine, continued with open-air performance, drama was slowly coming indoors—into country houses, colleges and inns. Hence, its flowering under Elizabeth was an urban phenomenon centred on London, and soon prompting the need for permanent structures. Among the first was James Burbage’s Theatre at Shoreditch in 1576, to be followed by such others as the nearby Curtain and, somewhat later across the Thames in Southwark, the Swan and Shakespeare’s Globe. They were immediately popular, attracting all levels of society in a curious intermingling of rich and poor, vagabond and aristocrat. However, by the end of the century, with attendance invariably falling off during the cold winter nights and in an effort to meet the increasing demands of the more sophisticated set, indoor theatres (called playhouses) developed, Blackfriars being the first in 1599. Unlike their earlier counterparts, modelled on the ancient Greek and Roman open-air amphitheatres, they were roofed, much smaller and of a more intimate nature, the price of admission (at five or six pence) making them far too expensive for most citizens. Also contributing to this development was the gradual disappearance in the early years of the next century of the older theatres, including the Rose and Fortune, sometimes through disuse but more often destroyed by fire. And so by 1629, with the building of the Salisbury Court playhouse, Londoners had a choice of only six theatres, three public and three private. It is apparent, therefore, returning to the earlier years of Elizabeth’s reign that the theatre had changed markedly over the following decades, not only in its physical design but also in terms of audience composition.

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Yet many of the old playwrights, such as Kyd and Marlowe, Shakespeare and Jonson, remained popular well into the Restoration and beyond, not only because they had introduced a host of new themes and stories but had also presented them in a fresh way and with greater depth of character, moral insight and plot complication. In other words, they participated in the Renaissance movement and contributed vastly to it. Nevertheless, the lure of the forest glades, the clowning and robust humour of past centuries, the clash of good and evil—these all survived, and with much vigour, as can be seen in such plays as Measure for Measure and As You Like It. Against this background appeared Mucedorus, by all accounts the most popular and widely printed play of its time. Although generally thought to have been written around 1590, its earliest known edition was published in 1598. It was then revised in 1610 for a Shrovetide performance at Whitehall before James I, with at least fifteen reprints (all in quarto form) appearing by the end of the century, the last ones evidently competing with the new drama of the Restoration. Based partly on the play’s association with the Globe theatre, along with some supporting contemporary and later references, it has been traditionally attributed to the early Shakespeare, either in whole or in part, though more recent scholarship largely views it as apocryphal and not to be included in the main Shakespearean canon. Mucedorus’s stunning success is all the more remarkable because, as its epilogue makes clear, it was written particularly for presentation at court—both that of Elizabeth and James—rather than for popular consumption. And yet much of the central material is drawn from folk culture, with obvious sources lying in mummers’ plays, the moralities and mystery cycles, and well-known ballads. Consider its opening contest between the abstract figures Comedy and Envy. Consider too the stock nature of the characters, the sharp reversals of fortune and the rapid transitions between comedy and tragedy. All of this would have been as familiar to the courtier as the groundling, and as highly valued. Other traditions, too, were woven into this popular fabric, enriching the work as well as broadening its appeal, including romances of chivalry and the fashionable pastoral, Sir Philip Sidney’s Arcadia (and his character Musidorus) being a likely influence. But whatever the exact sources of this early Elizabethan romantic comedy, and however puzzling its success might be to us, especially bearing in mind some of the magnificent rival plays, it set a pattern which was imitated and exploited for generations.

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A Most Pleasant Comedy of Mucedorus1 Prologue2 Most sacred Majestie,3 whose great deserts,° Thy subiect England, nay, the world, admires:4 Which heaven grant still increase, O may your praise Multiplying with your houres, your fame still raise: Embrace your councell: Love, with Faith them guide, That both as one bench, by the others side, So may your life passe on, and runne so even, That your firme zeale plant° you a throne in heaven: Where smiling angels shall your guardians be, From blemisht traitors stain’d with periurie: And as the night’s inferiour to the day, So be all earthly regions to your sway. Be as the sunne to day, the day to night; For, from your beames Europe shall borrow light: Mirth drowne your bosome, faire Delight your minde, And may our pastime your contentment finde. [Exit.]

merits

will establish

[ornament] 1

The title-page of the 1631 edition, which is the text provided here, reads as follows: A Most Pleasant Comedy of Mucedorus the Kings Sonne of Valentia, and Amadine the Kings Daughter of Aragon. With the Merrie Conceits of Mouse. Amplified with New Additions, as It Was Acted Before the Kings Maiestie at Whitehall, on Shrouesunday Night. By his Highnesse Seruants, Vsually Playing at the Globe. Very Delectable, and Full of Conceited Mirth. (London, Printed for Iohn Wright, and are to be sold at his shop at the signe of the Bible without Newgate. 1631.) There is a small ornamental woodcut directly below the title. 2 Other than for the Prologue, the act, scene and epilogue designations were not introduced until much later. Although there is some disagreement regarding their arrangement (see relevant footnotes below), the traditional divisions have been adopted here. Along with the Prologue, the following five additions were made to the 1610 edition of the play and are to be found in all subsequent early editions: Act I, Scenes 1 and 2; Act IV, Scene 1; a revision and amplification of Act V, Scene 2; and most of the Epilogue (see Appendix below, pp. 190-91). It is generally accepted that they were not the work of the original author. 3 King James I. 4 It has been suggested that the opening lines originally formed a couplet, with the second one possibly ending with asserts.

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Ten persons may easily play it.5 The King,6 and Rumbelo, for one. King Valentia, for one. Mucedorus the Prince of Valentia, for one. Anselmo, for one. Amadine the Kings daughter of Aragon, for one. Segasto a noble man, for one. Envy, Tremelio a captain, Bremo a wilde man, for one. Comedy, a Boy, an Old Woman, Ariena, Amadines maid, for one. Collin a counsellor, a Messenger, for one. Mouse the clowne, for one. [ornament] A Most Pleasant Comedy of Mucedorus the Kings Sonne of Valentia, and Amadine the Kings Daughter of Aragon. [Enter Comedy ioyfully, with a garland of bayes on her head.] Why so, thus doe I hope to please: Musicke revives, and mirth is tolerable: Comedy play thy part and please: Make merry them that come to ioy with thee: Ioy then good gentiles;° I hope to make you laugh: people (gentles) Sound forth Bellona’s silver tuned strings,7 Time fits us well, the day and place is ours. [Enter Envy, his armes naked, besmeared with bloud.] ENVY Nay stay minion stay, there lies a blocke:° obstacle What all on mirth? Ile interrupt your tale, And mix your musicke with a tragicke end. COMEDY What monstrous ugly hag is this, That dares controle the pleasures of our will? Vaunt° churlish curre besmeard with gory bloud, Be off That seem’st to checke the blossome of delight, And still the sound of sweet Bellona’s breath: 5

With the expansion of the play in 1610, the number of players increased from eight to ten. 6 King of Aragon. 7 As Bellona was the Roman goddess of war, usually depicted wearing a helmet and armed with a spear and torch, the author probably had some other such figure in mind. Near the beginning of Shakespeare’s Macbeth (I.ii.54), Macbeth is referred to as “Bellona’s bridegroom” (i.e. Mars).

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Blush monster blush, and post° away with shame, hurry, hasten That seek’st disturbance of a goddesse name. ENVY Post hence thy selfe thou counterchecking trull;° trollop I will possesse this habite° spight of thee, place And gaine the glory of this wished port:8 Ile thunder musicke shall appale the nymphs, And make them shiver their clattering strings, Flying for succour to their danish° caves. damp (dankish) [Sound drummes within, and cry Stab, stab.] Hearken thou shalt heare noise, Shall fill the aire with shrilling sound: And thunder musicke to the gods above: Mars shall himselfe breathe downe A peerelesse crowne upon brave° Envies head, bold And raise his chivall9 with a lasting fame: In this brave musicke Envy takes delight, Where I may see them wallow in their bloud, To spurne at armes and legs quite shivered° off, cut And heare the cries of many thousands slaine: How lik’st thou this my trull? Tis sport alone for me. COMEDY Vaunt bloudy curre, nurst up with tygers sap,° milk That so dost quaile° a womans minde: frighten Comedy is milde, gentle, willing for to please, And seekes to gaine the love of all estates:° ranks Delighting in mirth, mixt all with lovely tales; And bringeth things with treble ioy to passe. Thou bloody, envious, disdainer of mens ioyes; Whose name is fraught with bloudy stratagems, Delights in nothing but in spoile and death, Where thou maist trample in their luke-warme bloud, And graspe their hearts within thy cursed pawes: Yet vaile° thy minde, revenge thee not on me, humble A silly° woman begs it at thy hands. helpless Give me the leave to utter out my play: Forbeare° this place, I humbly crave thee hence,° Leave / begone And mix not death mongst pleasing comedies, That treats nought else but pleasure and delight: 8

Sport in some later editions. Horse. As this seems to make little sense, the word has been replaced by rival in some later editions, with Mars acknowledging the merits of his rival Envy by presenting him with a crown. 9

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If any sparke of humane rests in thee, Forbeare, begone, tender the suit of me.10 ENVY Why so I will? Forbearance shall be such, As treble death shall crosse thee with despight,° disdain And make thee mourne where most thou ioyest, Turning thy mirth into a deadly dole, Whirling thy pleasures with a peale of death, And drench thy methods° in a sea of bloud: plans Thus will I do: thus shall I beare with thee, And more, to vex thee with a deeper spight, I will with threats of bloud begin the play, Favouring thee with envy and with hate. COMEDY Then ugly monster doe thy worst, I will defend them in despight of thee: And though thou think’st with tragicke fumes° angry outbursts To prove° my play unto my great disgrace, make trial of, put to the test I force it not, I scorne what thou canst do: Ile grace it so, thy selfe shall it confesse, From tragicke stuffe to be a pleasant comedie. ENVY Why then Comedy send the actors forth, And I will crosse the first step of their trade, Making them feare the very dart of death. COMEDY And Ile defend them maugre° all thy spight: despite So ugly fiend, farewell till time shall serve, That we may meet to parlee° for the best. discuss ENVY Content Comedy, I’le goe spread my branch, And scattered blossomes from mine envious tree, Shall prove to monsters, spoiling of their11 ioyes. [Exit.]

Act I Scene I. Valentia. The Court. [Sound. Enter Mucedorus, and Anselmo his friend.] MUCEDORUS Anselmo? ANSELMO My lord and friend,

10 11

That is, accept my entreaty. Thy in some later editions.

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Whose deare affections bosome with my heart, And keepe their domination in one orbe: Whence nere disloyalty shall root it forth, But faith plant firmer in your choice respect. MUCEDORUS True, my Anselmo, both thy lord and friend Whose dear affections bosom° with my heart,12 are enclosed (within) And keep their domination in one orb.° sphere ANSELMO Whence ne’er disloyalty shall root it forth But faith plant firmer in your choice respect. MUCEDORUS Much blame were mine if I should other13 deeme, Nor can coy Fortune contrary allow: But my Anselmo, loth I am to say, I must estrange that friendship. Misconstrue not, ’tis from the realme, not thee: Though lands part bodies, hearts keepe company: Thou know’st that I imparted often have Private relations with my royall sire Had, as concerning beauteous Amadine, Rich Aragons bright iewell: whose face (some say) That blooming lilies never shone so gay: Excelling, not excel’d; yet lest report Does mangle verity, boasting of what is not, Wing’d with desire, thither Ile straight repaire, And be my fortunes as my thoughts are, faire. ANSELMO Will you forsake Valentia? Leave the court? Absent you from the eye of sovereignty, Doe not sweet prince, adventure on that taske, Since danger lurkes each where,° be won from it. everywhere MUCEDORUS Desist disswasion, My resolution brookes no battery,° assault Therefore if thou retaine thy wonted forme,° usual behaviour Assist what I intend. ANSELMO Your misse° will breed a blemish in the court, absence And throw a frosty deaw upon that beard, Whose front° Valentia stoopes to. face, countenance MUCEDORUS If thou my welfare tender,14 then no more, Let loves strong magicke charme thy triviall phrase,° words Wasted as vainly as to gripe° the sunne: grasp 12

Some later editions have this line and the next one spoken by Mucedorus. Otherwise. 14 Value, hold dear. 13

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Augment not then more answer; locke thy lips, Unlesse thy wisdome sute° me with disguise, provide (suit) According to my purpose. ANSELMO That action craves° no counsell, needs Since what you rightly are, will more command, Than best usurped° shape. assumed MUCEDORUS Thou still art opposite in disposition:15 A more obscure servile habiliment° lowly dress Beseemes this enterprise. ANSELMO Then16 like a Florentine or mountebanke.° itinerant quack MUCEDORUS Tis much too tedious, I dislike thy iudgement, My minde is grafted on a humbler stocke. ANSELMO Within my closet does there hang a cassocke,° loose coat Though base the weed° is, ’twas a shepherds garment Which I presented° in Lord Iulius maske.° wore / masque MUCEDORUS That my Anselmo, and none else but that, Maske Mucedorus from the vulgar view: That habit sutes my minde, fetch me that weed. [Exit Anselmo.] Better than kings have not disdain’d that state, And much inferior, to obtaine their mate. [Enter Anselmo with a shepherds coat.] So, let our respect° command thy secrecie, regard (for each other) At once a briefe farewell, Delay to lovers is a second hell. [Exit Mucedorus.] ANSELMO Prosperitie fore-runne thee: awkward chance, Never be neighbour to thy wishes venture, Content and fame advance thee. Ever thrive, And glory thy mortality survive.17 Scene II. A Forest in Aragon. [Enter Mouse with a bottle18 of hay.] MOUSE O horrible terrible! Was ever poore gentleman so scar’d out of his seven senses? A beare? Nay sure it cannot be a beare, but some

15

Attitude, inclination. Than, as in some later editions. These two words were often used interchangeably at this time. 17 Exit added in some later editions. 18 Bundle. Mouse has apparently been gathering hay for his father’s horse. 16

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devill in a beares doublet;19 for a beare could never have had that agilitie20 to have frighted me. Well, Ile see my father hang’d before Ile serve his horse any more: Well, Ile carry home my bottle of hay, and for once make my fathers horse turne Puritane,21 and observe fasting dayes, for hee gets not a bit. But soft, this way she followed me, therefore Ile take the other path, and because Ile be sure to have an eye to her, I will shake hands22 with some foolish creditor, and make every step backward. [As he goes backward, the beare comes in, and he tumbles over her, and runs away, and leaves his bottle of hay behind him.] Scene III. The same. [Enter Segasto running, and Amadine after him, being pursued with a beare.] SEGASTO O flie madam, flie, or else we are but dead. AMADINE Helpe Segasto, helpe, helpe sweet Segasto, or else I die. [Segasto runnes away.] SEGASTO Alas madam there is no way but flight, Then haste and save your selfe. AMADINE Why then I dye. Ah helpe me in distresse. [Enter Mucedorus like a shepherd, with a sword drawne, and a beares head in his hand.] MUCEDORUS Stay lady stay, and be no more dismaid, That cruell beast most mercilesse and fell,° savage Affrighted many with his hard pursues, Prying° from place to place to finde his prey, Seeking Prolonging thus his life by others death: His carkas now lies headlesse void of breath. AMADINE That foule deformed monster is he dead? MUCEDORUS Assure your selfe thereof, behold his head, Which if it please you lady to accept, With willing heart I yeeld it to your maiesty. AMADINE Thankes worthy shepherd, thanks a thousand times,

19

A man’s close-fitting body-garment. But its earlier meaning was a fur coat. Quickness, speed. 21 At this time, in Queen Elizabeth’s reign, a reformist group within the Church of England. 22 Imitate. 20

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This gift assure thy selfe contents me more, Than greatest bounty of a mighty prince Although he were the monarch of the world. MUCEDORUS Most gratious goddesse, more than mortall wight,23 Your heavenly hue of right° imports no lesse: rightfully Most glad am I, in that it was my chance To undertake this enterprise in hand, Which doth so greatly glad your princely minde. AMADINE No goddesse ( shepherd) but a mortall wight, A mortall wight distressed as thou seest; My father here is King of Aragon, I Amadine his only daughter am, And after him sole heyre unto the crowne: Now whereas it is my fathers will, To marrie me unto Segasto, One whose wealth through fathers former usury,24 Is knowne to be no lesse than wonderfull: We both of custome oftentimes did use, (Leaving the court) to walke within the fields For recreation, especially [in] the spring, In that it yeelds great store of rare delights: And passing further than our wonted walkes, Scarce entered within these lucklesse° woods, unfortunate But right before us downe a steepfall hill, A monstrous ugly beare did hye him fast° ran quickly, made haste (hie) To meet us both: I faint to tell the rest, Good shepherd but suppose the ghastly lookes, The hideous feares, the hundred thousand woes Which at this instant Amadine sustain’d. MUCEDORUS Yet worthy princesse let thy sorrow cease, And let this sight your former ioyes revive. AMADINE Beleeve me shepherd, so it doth no lesse. MUCEDORUS Long may they last unto your hearts content. But tell me lady, what is become of him, Segasto cal’d; what is become of him? AMADINE I know not I, that know the powers divine, But God grant this: that sweet Segasto live.

23 24

Creature. Bestowal of favours for advantage.

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MUCEDORUS Yet hard hearted he in such a case, So cowardly to save himselfe by flight, And leave so brave a princesse to the spoile. AMADINE Well shepherd for thy worthy valour tried, Endangering thy selfe to set me free, Unrecompensed sure thou shalt not be: In court thy courage shall be plainly knowne, Throughout the kingdome will I spread thy name, To thy renowne and never dying fame: And that thy courage may be better knowne, Beare thou the head of this most monstrous beast In open sight to every courtiers view: So will the king my father thee reward. Come let’s away and guard° me to the court. MUCEDORUS With all my heart. [Exeunt.]

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Scene IV. Outskirts of the Forest. [Enter Segasto solus.] SEGASTO When heaps of harmes doe hover over head, Tis time as then (some say) to looke about, And of ensuing harmes to chuse the least: But hard, yea haplesse is that wretches chance, Lucklesse his lot, and caitiffe-like° accurst, slave-like At whose proceedings° Fortune ever frownes: behaviour My selfe I mean, most subiect unto thrall:° slavery For I, the more I seeke to shun the worst, The more by proofe I finde my selfe accurst. Erewhiles° assaulted with an ugly beare, Recently Faire Amadine in company all alone; Forthwith by flight I thought to save my selfe, Leaving my Amadine unto her shifts:° to look after herself For death it was for to resist the beare, And death no lesse of Amadines harmes to heare. Accursed I, in lingring life thus long: In living thus, each minute of an houre Doth pierce my heart with darts of thousand deaths: If she by flight her fury doth escape, What will she thinke? Will she not say, yea flatly° to my face, plainly

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Accusing me of meere° disloyalty. downright A trusty friend is tride in time of need: But I, when she in danger was of death, And needed me, and cride, Segasto helpe, I turn’d my backe and quickly ran away, Unworthy I to beare this vitall breath, But what, what need these plaints?° complaints If Amadine doe live, then happy I, Shee will in time forgive, and so forget: Amadine is mercifull, not Iuno like,25 In harmefull hearts to harbour hatred long. [Enter Mouse the clowne running crying Clubs.] MOUSE Clubs, prongs, pitchforks, bills:26 Oh helpe, A beare, a beare, a beare. SEGASTO Still beares, and nothing but beares. Tell me sirra where she is. CLOWNE27 O sir, she is runne downe the woods, I saw her white head, and her white belly. SEGASTO Thou talk’st of wonders, to tell me of white beares. But sirra, didst thou ever see any such? CLOWNE No faith, I never saw any such: But I remember my fathers words, He bad me take heed I was not caught with the white beare. SEGASTO A lamentable tale no doubt. CLOWNE Ile tell you what sir, as I was going a field to serve my fathers great horse, and carried a bottle of hay upon my head: Now doe you see sir, I fast hudwinkt28 that I should29 see nothing, I perceiving the beare comming, I threw my hay into the hedge, and ran away. SEGASTO What, from nothing? CLOWNE I warrant you yes, I saw something: for there was two load of thornes besides my bottle of hay, and that made three. SEGASTO But tell me sirra: the beare that thou didst see, Did shee not beare a bucket on her arme?

25

Juno, an ancient Roman goddess and wife of Jupiter, sought revenge on her husband’s infidelities by releasing a stinging fly to torment his mistress, Io. 26 An implement for pruning, cutting wood, etc. 27 From here to the end of the play Mouse is introduced as “Clowne.” 28 That is, he quickly covered his eyes (hoodwinked). 29 Could in some later editions.

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CLOWNE Ha, ha, ha, I never saw beare go a milking in my life. But harke you sir, I did not looke so hie as her arme, I saw nothing but her white head, and her white belly. SEGASTO But tell me sirra: where dost thou dwell? CLOWNE Why doe you not know me? SEGASTO Why no, how should I know thee? CLOWNE Why then you know no body, and you know not me: I tell you sir I am Goodman Rats sonne of the next parish over the hill. SEGASTO Goodman Rats sonne, whats thy name? CLOWNE Why I am very neere kin unto him. SEGASTO I thinke so, but whats thy name? CLOWNE My name? I have a very pretty name. Ile tell you what my name is, my name is Mouse. SEGASTO What plaine Mouse? CLOWNE I, plaine Mouse without either welt or gard.30 But do you heare sir, I am but a very young mouse, for my taile is scarce growne out yet: looke you here else. SEGASTO But I pray you who gave you that name? CLOWNE Faith sir, I know not that, but if you would faine31 know, aske my fathers great horse, for he hath beene halfe a yeare longer with my father than I have beene. SEGASTO This seemes to be a merry fellow,32 I care not if I take him home with me: Mirth is a comfort to a troubled minde. A merry man a merry master makes. How saist thou sirrah, wilt thou dwell with me? CLOWNE Nay soft sir, two words to a bargaine. Pray what occupation are you? SEGASTO No occupation, I live upon my lands. CLOWNE Your lands? Away, you are no master for me. Why do you thinke that I am so mad to goe seeke my living in the lands among the stones, bryers, and bushes, and teare my holiday apparell? Not I by your leave. SEGASTO Why I doe not meane thou shalt. CLOWNE How then? SEGASTO Why thou shalt be my man, and wait on me at court. CLOWNE Whats that? SEGASTO Where the king lies. 30

That is, without ornamentation or trimming (figurative). Like to. 32 Aside added in some later editions. 31

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CLOWNE What is that king, a man or a woman? SEGASTO A man as thou art. CLOWNE As I am: Harke you sir, pray you what kin is hee to Goodman King of our parish the church-warden? SEGASTO No kin to him, he is the king of the whole land. CLOWNE King of the whole land, I never saw him. SEGASTO If thou wilt dwell with me, thou shalt see him every day. CLOWNE Shall I go home againe to be torne in peeces with beares? No not I, I will goe home and put on a cleane shirt, and then goe drowne my selfe. SEGASTO Thou shalt not need, if thou wilt dwell with me thou shalt want nothing. CLOWNE Shall I not? Then heres my hand; Ile dwell with you: And harke you sir, now you have entertained me, Ile tell you what I can doe, I can keepe my tongue from picking and stealing, and my hands from lying and slandering, I warrant you as well as ever you had any man in your life. SEGASTO Now will I to court with sorrowfull heart rounded with doubts: If Amadine doe live, then happy I; yea happy I if Amadine doe live.33

Act II Scene I. The Camp of the King of Aragon. [Enter the King with a young prisoner, Amadine, Tremelio, with Collin and Counsellers.] KING Now brave lords, our warres are brought to end, Our foes the foyle,° and we in safety rest; defeated It us behooves° to use such clemencie in peace, becomes us As valour in the warres; Tis as great honour to be bountifull at home, As conquerors in the field. Therefore my lords, the more to my content, Your liking, and your countries safeguard, We are dispos’d in mariage for to give Our daughter unto Lord Segasto here, Who shall succeed the diademe° after me, crown 33

Exeunt added in some later editions.

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And reigne hereafter, as I tofore° have done, before Your sole and lawfull King of Aragon. What say you lordings, like you of my advice?° intention, resolve COLLIN An’t please your maiestie, we doe not only allow34 of your highnesse pleasure, but also vow faithfully in what we may, to further it. KING Thanks good my lords, if long35 Adrastus live, He will at full requite your courtesies. Tremelio, in recompense of thy late valour done, Take unto thee the Catelone a prince, Lately our prisoner taken in the warres: Be thou his keeper, his ransome shall be thine: Wee’ll thinke of it when leisure shall afford: Meane while doe use him well; his father is a king. TREMELIO Thanks to your maiestie, his usage shall be such, As he thereat shall have no cause to grutch.° [Exit.] complain KING Then march wee on to court, and rest our wearied limbs. But, Collin, I have a tale in secret fit for thee, When thou shalt heare a watch-word° from thy king, warning Thinke then some weighty matter is at hand, That highly shall concerne our state: Then Collin looke thou be not farre from me, And for thy service thou tofore hast done, Thy truth and valour prov’d in every point, I shall with bounties thee inlarge therefore. So guard us to the court. COLLIN What so my soveraigne doth command me doe, With willing minde I gladly yeeld consent. [Exeunt.] Scene II. The same. [Enter Segasto, and the Clowne with weapons about him.] SEGASTO Tell me sirrah, how doe you like your weapons? CLOWNE O very well, very well, they keepe my sides warme. SEGASTO They keepe the dogs from your shins well, do they not? CLOWNE How keepe the dogs from my shins, I would scorne but my shins should keepe the dogs from them. 34 35

Approve, commend. As long as (referring to himself).

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SEGASTO Well sirra leaving idle talke, tell me Dost thou know Captaine Tremelios chamber? CLOWNE I very well; it hath a doore. SEGASTO I thinke so, for so hath every chamber: But dost thou know the man? CLOWNE I forsooth, he hath a nose on his face. SEGASTO Why so hath every one. CLOWNE Thats more than I know. SEGASTO But dost thou remember the captaine that was here with the King, that brought the young prince prisoner?36 CLOWNE O very well. SEGASTO Goe to him, and bid him come to me: Tell him I have a matter in secret to impart to him. CLOWNE I will master, what’s his name? SEGASTO Why Captaine Tremelio.37 CLOWNE O, the meal-man:38 I know him very well, He brings meale every Saturday, but harke you master, Must I bid him come to you, or must you come to him? SEGASTO No sirra, he must come to me. CLOWNE Hearke you master, if he be not at home, What shall I doe then? SEGASTO Why then thou leave word with some of his folkes. CLOWNE O master if there be no body within, I will leave word with his dogge. SEGASTO Why can his dog speake? CLOWNE I cannot tell, wherefore doth he keep his chamber else? SEGASTO To keepe out such knaves as thou art. CLOWNE Nay by Lady,39 then go your selfe. SEGASTO You will goe sir, will you not? CLOWNE Yes marry will I. O tis come to my head: And he be not within, Ile bring his chamber to you. SEGASTO What, wilt you plucke downe the kings house? CLOWNE No by Lady, Ile know the price of it first. Master, it is such a hard name I have forgotten it againe; 36

This obvious shift into prose is one of the first of many inconsistencies in the use of prose and blank verse, a matter which is handled quite differently from one edition to another. 37 It has been suggested that man be added to the end of the line to make the pun more intelligible. 38 A dealer in powdered grain. 39 An oath regularly used by Mouse. Its full form is “by our Lady,” i.e. Christ’s mother.

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I pray you, tell me his name. SEGASTO I tell thee, Captaine Tremelio.40 CLOWNE O Captaine Treble Knave, Captaine Treble Knave. [Enter Tremelio.] TREMELIO How now sirra, dost thou call me? CLOWNE You must come to my master, Captaine Treble Knave. TREMELIO My Lord Segasto did you send for me? SEGASTO I did Tremelio. Sirra about your businesse. CLOWNE I marry, whats that, can you tell? SEGASTO No not well. CLOWNE Marry then I can, straight to the kitchin-dresser41 to Iohn the cooke, and get mee a good peece of beefe and brewis,42 and then to the buttery hatch43 to Thomas the butler for a iacke44 of beere: and there for an houre Ile so belabour my selfe, and therefore I pray you call me not till you thinke I have done, I pray you good master. [Exit.] SEGASTO Well sir away. Tremelio, this it is, thou knowest the valour of Segasto, Spread thorow all the kingdome of Aragon, And such as have found triumph and favours, Never daunted at any time: but now a shepherd, Admired in court for worthinesse, And Segastoes honour laid aside: My will therefore is this, that thou dost finde some meanes to worke the shepherds death; I know thy strength sufficient to performe my desire, and to love no otherwise than to revenge my iniuries. TREMELIO It is not the frownes of a shepherd that Tremelio feares: Therefore account it accomplish’d what I take in hand. SEGASTO Thankes good Tremelio, and assure thy selfe, What I promise, that I will performe. TREMELIO Thankes good my lord: and in good time, See where he commeth: stand by a while, And you shall see me put in practise your intended drift. Have at thee swaine, if that I hit thee right. [Enter Mucedorus.]

40

It has been suggested that this pun would be made more intelligible by adding knave to the end of the line. 41 A kitchen sideboard on which food was prepared. 42 A thick soup, pottage. 43 Wine cellar. 44 Jug, tankard (jack).

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MUCEDORUS Vild45 coward, so without cause to strike a man; Turne coward turne: now strike and doe thy worst. [Mucedorus killeth him.] SEGASTO Hold shepherd hold, spare him, kill him not: Accursed villaine, tell me, what hast thou done? Ah Tremelio, trusty Tremelio, I sorrow for thy death. And since that thou living didst prove faithfull to Segasto, So Segasto now living, will honour the dead Corps of Tremelio with revenge. Bloud-thirstie villaine, borne and bred to mercilesse murder, Tell me, how durst thou be so bold, At once to lay thy hands upon the least of mine?46 Assure thy selfe thou shalt be us’d according to the law. MUCEDORUS Segasto cease, these threats are needlesse, Accuse me not of murder, that have done nothing But in mine owne defence. SEGASTO Nay shepherd, reason not with mee, I’le manifest thy47 fact unto the King: Whose doome will be thy death, as thou deserv’st. What hoe: Mouse come away. [Enter Mouse.] CLOWNE Why how now, what’s the matter? I thought you would be calling before I had done. SEGASTO Come helpe away with my friend. CLOWNE Why is he drunke? Can he not stand on his feet? SEGASTO No he is not drunke, he is slaine. CLOWNE Flaine?° No by Lady he is not flaine. Flayed SEGASTO He’s kil’d, I tell thee. CLOWNE What doe you use to kill your friends? I will serve you no longer. SEGASTO I tell thee the shepherd kil’d him. CLOWNE O did he so? But master, I will have all his apparell if I carry him away. SEGASTO Why so thou shalt. CLOWNE Come then I will helpe: masse48 master, I thinke his mother sung loobie49 to him, he is so heavy. [Exeunt.] 50 45

Vile. That is, upon anything of mine, however small. 47 The in some later editions. 48 An oath. Its full form is “by the Mass.” 49 A great hulking figure. 50 The stage direction in some later editions is: Exeunt Segasto and Mouse. 46

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MUCEDORUS Behold the fickle state of man, alwaies mutable, never at one. Sometime we feed on fancies with the sweet of our desires: Sometimes againe, we feele the heat of extreme miseries. Now am I in favour about the court and countrey, To morrow those favours will turne to frownes. To day I live revenged on my foe, To morrow I die, my foe revenged on me. [Exit.] Scene III. The Forest. [Enter Bremo a wilde man.] BREMO No passenger° this morning? What not one? passer-by A chance that seldome doth befall, What not one? Then lie thou there, And rest thy selfe till I have further need:51 Now Bremo sith thy leasure so affords,52 An endlesse53 thing, who knowes not Bremoes strength, Who like a king commands within these woods? The beare, the boare, dare not abide his sight, But haste away to save themselves by flight. The chrystall waters in the bubling brookes, When I come by doe swiftly slide away, And claps° themselves in closets° under bankes, hides / secret places Afraid to looke bold Bremo in the face. And all things else are still at my command. Else what would I? Rend them in peeces, and pluck them from the earth, And each way else I would revenge my selfe. Why who comes here, with whom I dare not fight? Who fights with me and doth not die the death? Not one. What favour shewes this sturdy sticke to those That here within these woods are combatants with me? Why death and nothing else but present death: With restlesse rage I wander thorow these woods, No creature here, but feareth Bremoes force: 51 The following stage direction has been added in some later editions: Lays down his club. 52 It has been suggested that the line should read: Now, Bremo, sit, thy leisure so affords. 53 Needless in some later editions.

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Man, woman, child, beast and bird, And every thing that doth approach my sight, Are forst to fall, if Bremo once do frowne. Come cudgell come, my partner in my spoiles, For here I see this day it will not be, But when it falls that I encounter any, One pat sufficeth for to worke my will. What comes not one? Then lets be gone, A time will serve when we shall better speed.°

[Exit.]

prosper

Scene IV. Aragon. A Room of State in the Court. [Enter the King, Segasto, the Shepherd, & the Clowne with others.] KING Shepherd, thou hast heard thine accusers, Murther is laid to thy charge: What canst thou say? Thou hast deserved death. MUCEDORUS Dread soveraigne I must needs confesse, I slew this captaine in mine own defence, Not of any malice, but by chance: But mine accuser hath a further meaning. SEGASTO Words will not here prevaile, I seeke for iustice, and iustice craves his death. KING Shepherd thine owne confession hath condemned thee: Sirra take him away, and doe him to execution straight. CLOWNE So he54 shall, I warrant him: But do you heare Master King? He is kin to a monkie, His necke is bigger than his head. SEGASTO Come sirra away with him, And hang him about the middle. CLOWNE Yes forsooth I warrant you, come you sirra: A,° so like a sheep-biter a lookes.55 Aye [Enter Amadine and a boy with a beares head.] AMADINE Dread soveraigne and wellbeloved sire, On bended knee I crave the life of this condemned shepherd, which heretofore preserved the life of thy sometime distressed daughter.56 KING Preserved the life of my sometime distressed daughter? How can that be? I never knew the time 54

I in some later editions. That is, he looks like a shifty, sneaking fellow. 56 An interesting combination of blank verse and prose. 55

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Wherein was thou distrest: I never knew the day, But that I have maintained thy estate, As best beseem’d the daughter of a king. I never saw the shepherd untill now, How comes it then that he preserv’d thy life? AMADINE Once walking with Segasto in the woods, Further than our accustomed manner was, Right before us downe a steepe fall hill, A monstrous ugly beare did hye° him fast run (hie) To meet us both: now whether this be true, I referre it to the credit° of Segasto. honour SEGASTO Most true an’t like your maiesty. KING How then? AMADINE The beare being eager to obtaine his prey, Made forward to us with an open mouth, As if he meant to swallow us both at once: The sight whereof did make us both to dread: But specially your daughter Amadine, Who for I saw no succour incident° no help at hand But in Segastoes valour, I grew desperate: And he most coward-like began to flye, Left me distrest to be devour’d of him, How say you Segasto, is it not true? KING His silence verifies it to be true: what then? AMADINE Then I amaz’d, distressed all alone, Did hie me fast to scape that ugly beare, But all in vaine; for why he reached after me, And hardly I did oft escape his pawes, Till at the length this shepherd came, And brought to me his head. Come hither boy, loe here it is, which I doe present unto your maiesty.57 KING The slaughter of this beare deserves great fame. SEGASTO The slaughter of a man deserves great blame. KING Indeed occasion oftentimes so falls out. SEGASTO Tremelio in the warres (O King) preserved thee. AMADINE The shepherd in the woods (O King) preserved me. SEGASTO Tremelio fought when many men did yeeld. AMADINE So would the shepherd had he been in field. 57

The following stage direction has been added in some later editions: The bear’s head presented to the King.

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CLOWNE So would my master, had he not run away.58 SEGASTO Tremelioes force sav’d thousands from the foe. AMADINE The shepherds force hath many thousands more. CLOWNE Aye shipsticks59 nothing else. KING Segasto cease to accuse the shepherd, His worthinesse deserves a recompense; All we are bound to doe the shepherd good. Shepherd, whereas it was my sentence thou shouldst dye, So shall my sentence stand, for thou shalt die. SEGASTO Thanks to your maiesty. KING But soft Segasto, not for this offence: Long mayst thou live60 and when the Sisters61 shall decree To cut in twaine the twisted threed of life, Then let him die, for this I set him free, And for thy valour I will honour thee. MUCEDORUS Thanks to your maiesty. KING Come daughter let us now depart, to honour the worthy valour of the shepherd, with our rewards.62 [Exeunt.] CLOWNE O master heare you, you have made a fresh hand63 now, I thought you would bethrow you:64 what will you doe now? You have lost me a good occupation by this meanes: Faith master now I cannot hang the shepherd, I pray you let me take paines to hang you, It is but halfe an houres exercise. SEGASTO You are still in your knavery: But sith I cannot have his life, I will procure his banishment for ever. Come on sirra. CLOWNE Yes forsooth, I come. Laugh at him I pray you. [Exeunt.]

58

An aside has been added both here and in Mouse’s next comment in some later editions. 59 Probably sheep’s tick, as has been suggested. 60 Stage directions have been added in some later editions indicating to whom the king is speaking. 61 The Fates, three mythological goddesses. 62 This is a further example of lines being later rendered into blank verse: Come, daughter, let us now depart to honour / The worthy valour of the shepherd with rewards. 63 That is, you have just worsened the situation. 64 Evil befall you (beshrew).

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Act III Scene I. Grove near the Court. [Enter Mucedorus solus.] MUCEDORUS From Amadine, and from her fathers court, With gold and silver, and with rich rewards, Flowing from the bankes of gold and treasures: More may I boast and say: but I Was never shepherd in such dignity.65 [Enter the Messenger and the Clowne.] MESSENGER All haile worthy shepherd. MOUSE All raine66 lousie shepherd. MUCEDORUS Welcome my friends, from whence come you? MESSENGER The King and Amadine greet thee well, And after greetings done, bids thee depart the court. Shepherd be gone.67 CLOWN Shepherd take law-legs;68 fly away shepherd. MUCEDORUS Whose words are these, came these from Amadine? MESSENGER I from Amadine. MOUSE Aye from Amadine. MUCEDORUS Ah lucklesse fortune, worse than Phaetons tale,69 My former blisse is now become my bale. MOUSE What wilt thou poison thy selfe? MUCEDORUS My former heaven is now become my hell. MOUSE The worst ale-house that ever I came in, in all my life. MUCEDORUS What shall I doe? MOUSE Even go hang thy selfe. MUCEDORUS Can Amadine so churlishly° command harshly To banish the shepherd from her fathers court? MESSENGER What should shepherds do in the court? 65

That is, held in such honour. Reign in some editions, which makes the pun less apparent. 67 It has been suggested that these lines originally formed a couplet: The King and Amadine greet thee well, and greeting done, / Bid thee depart the court: shepherd, begone! 68 Perhaps referring to strong legs needed for flight, one regional meaning of law being hill. 69 In Greek mythology, Phaeton was the son of Helios, the sun-god. Against his father’s wishes, he drove the sun-chariot across the heavens and, almost destroying earth, was killed by a thunderbolt from Zeus. 66

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MOUSE What should shepherds do amongst us? Have we not lords enough on us in the court? MUCEDORUS Why shepherds are men, and kings are no more. MESSENGER Shepherds are men and masters over their flocks. MOUSE Thats a lie, who paies them their wages then? MESSENGER Well, you are always interrupting of me: But you were best looke to him, lest you hang for him when he is gone. [Exit.] [The Clowne sings.] MOUSE And you shall hang for company, For leaving me alone. Shepherd stand forth and heare my sentence. Shepherd be gone within three dayes in pain of my displeasure, shepherd be gone, shepherd be gone, be gone, be gone, be gone. Shepherd, shepherd, shepherd.70 MUCEDORUS And must I goe? And must I needs depart? Yee goodly groves partakers of my songs, In time before when Fortune did not frowne, Powre° forth your plaints,71 and waile a while with me: Pour And thou bright sunne, the comfort of my cold, Hide, hide thy face, and leave me comfortlesse: Yee wholesome herbes and sweet smelling savours,° spices Yea each thing else prolonging life of man, Change, change, your wonted° course, usual That I wanting your aid, in wofull sort may die. [Enter Amadine and Ariena her maid.]72 AMADINE Ariena, if any body aske for me, Make some excuse till I returne. ARIENA What and Segasto call? AMADINE Do you the like to him, I meane not to stay long. [Exit.] MUCEDORUS This voice so sweet my pining spirits revives. AMADINE Shepherd well met; tell me how thou dost. MUCEDORUS I linger life, yet wish for speedy death. AMADINE Shepherd although thy banishment already be decreed, and all against my will, yet Amadine. MUCEDORUS Ah Amadine, to heare of banishment is death: I double death to me: but since I must depart, one thing I crave. AMADINE Say on with all my heart. 70

Variously expressed in different texts, sometimes completely in prose. Exit added in some later editions. 71 Complaints. 72 This marks the beginning of a new scene in some later editions.

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MUCEDORUS That in absence either farre or neere, You honour me as servant to your name. AMADINE Not so. MUCEDORUS And why? AMADINE I honour thee, as soveraigne of my heart. MUCEDORUS A shepherd and a sovareigne nothing like. AMADINE Yet like enough, where there is no dislike.° disapproval MUCEDORUS Yet great dislike, or else no banishment. AMADINE Shepherd, it is only Segasto that procures thy banishment. MUCEDORUS Unworthy wights° are more in iealousie. people AMADINE Would God they would free thee from banishment, Or likewise banish me. MUCEDORUS Amen I say to have your company. AMADINE Well shepherd, sith thou sufferest this for my sake, With thee in exile also let me live, On this condition shepherd thou canst love. MUCEDORUS No longer love, no longer let me live AMADINE Of late I loved one indeed, but now I love none but only thee. MUCEDORUS Thankes worthy princesse: I burne73 likewise, Yet smother up the blast, I dare not promise what I may74 performe. AMADINE Well shepherd, hearke what I shall say, I will returne unto my fathers court, There for to provide me of such necessaries As for our iourney I shall thinke most fit: This being done, I will returne to thee; Doe thou therefore appoint the place Where we may meet. MUCEDORUS Downe in the valley where I slew the beare, And there doth grow a faire broad branched beech That overshades a well, so who comes first, Let them abide the happy meeting of us both. How like you this? AMADINE I like it well. MUCEDORUS Now if you please, you may appoint the time. AMADINE Full three houres hence, God willing I will returne. MUCEDORUS The thankes that Paris gave the Grecian queene,75 The like doth Mucedorus yeeld. 73

Love ardently. Mayn’t in some later editions. 75 Paris, the son of Priam, king of Troy, eloped with Helen, queen of Sparta. 74

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AMADINE Then Mucedorus for three houres farewell. [Exit.] MUCEDORUS Your departure lady breeds a privy76 paine. [Exit.] Scene II. The Court. [Enter Segasto solus.] SEGASTO Tis well Segasto, that thou hast thy will: Should such a shepherd such a simple swaine as he, Eclips thy credit,° famous thorow the court? reputation No, ply77 Segasto ply, let it not in Aragon be said, A shepherd hath Segastoes honour won. [Enter Mouse the clowne calling his master.] CLOWNE What, hoe master, will you come away? SEGASTO Will you come hither I pray you, what is the matter? CLOWNE Why is it not past eleven of the clocke? SEGASTO How then sir? CLOWNE I pray you come away to dinner. SEGASTO I pray you come hither. CLOWNE Here’s such a doe with you, will you never come? SEGASTO I pray you sir, what newes of the message I sent you about? CLOWNE I tell you all the messes78 be on the table already. There wants not so much as a messe of mustard, halfe an houre agoe. SEGASTO Come sir, your minde is all upon your belly, You have forgotten what I bid you doe. CLOWNE Faith, I know nothing, but you bade me go to breakfast. SEGASTO Was that all? CLOWNE Faith I have forgotten it, the very scent of the meat hath made me forget it quite. SEGASTO You have forgot the arrand I bid you doe? CLOWNE What arrand, an arrant knave, or an arrant whore? SEGASTO Why thou knave, did I not bid thee banish the shepherd?79 CLOWNE O the shepherds bastard. SEGASTO I tell thee the shepherds banishment. CLOWNE I tell you the shepherds bastard shall be well kept, Ile looke to it my selfe: but I pray you come away to dinner. 76

Private. That is, apply yourself to the task at hand. 78 Dishes of food. 79 It has been suggested that this pun would be made more intelligible by adding buzzard to the end of the line. 77

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SEGASTO Then you will not tell me whether you have banished him or no? CLOWNE Why I cannot say banishment if you would give me a thousand pounds to say so. SEGASTO Why you whorson slave, have you forgotten that I sent you and another to drive away the shepherd? CLOWNE What an asse are you? Here’s a stirre80 indeed: here’s message, arrant, banishment, and I cannot tell what. SEGASTO I pray you sir, shall I know whether you have drove him away? CLOWNE Faith I thinke I have, and you will not beleeve me, aske my staffe. SEGASTO Why can thy staffe tell? CLOWNE Why he was with me too. SEGASTO Then happy I that have obtain’d my will. CLOWNE And happier I if you would goe to dinner. SEGASTO Come sirra, follow me. CLOWNE I warrant you, I will not lose an inch of you now you are going to dinner:81 I promise you I thought seven yeares before I could get him away. Scene III. The Forest. [Enter Amadine sola.] AMADINE God grant my long delay procures° no harme, causes Nor this my tarrying frustrate my pretence:° intention My Mucedorus surely stayes for me, And thinkes me over-long, at length I come, My present promise to performe: Ah what a thing is firme unfained° love! sincere, genuine What is it which true love dares not attempt? My father he may make, but I must match: Segasto loves, but Amadine must like Where likes her best: compulsion is a thrall;° oppression No, no, the hearty choice is all in all. The shepherds vertue Amadine esteemes. But what, methinkes the shepherd is not come; 80 81

Mess. Aside added in some later editions, as well as exeunt after the next line.

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I muse at that, the houre is at hand: Well here Ile rest till Mucedorus come. [She sits downe.] [Enter Bremo looking about hastily takes hold on her.] BREMO A happy prey: now Bremo feed on flesh: Dainties Bremo, dainties, thy hungry paunch to fill; Now glut thy greedy guts with luke-warme bloud: Come fight with me, I long to see thee dead. AMADINE How can she fight that weapons cannot wield? BREMO What canst not fight? Then lie thee downe and die. AMADINE What must I die? BREMO What needs these words? I thirst to sucke thy bloud. AMADINE Yet pitty me and let me live a while. BREMO No pitty I, Ile feed upon thy flesh, And teare thy body peece-meale ioynt by ioynt. AMADINE Ah now I want my shepherds company. BREMO Ile crush thy bones betweene two oaken trees. AMADINE Haste shepherd, haste, or else thou com’st too late. BREMO Ile sucke the sweetnesse from thy marrow-bones. AMADINE Ah spare, ah spare to shed my guiltlesse bloud. BREMO With this my bat I will beat out thy braines: Downe, downe I say, prostrate thy selfe upon the ground. AMADINE Then Mucedorus farewell, my hoped ioyes farewell; Yea farewell life, and welcome present death, [She kneeles.] To thee, O God, I yeeld my dying ghost. BREMO Now Bremo play thy part. How now? What sudden chance82 is this? My limbes doe tremble, and my sinewes shake, My unweakened83 armes have lost their former force: Ah Bremo, Bremo, what a foile° hadst thou, a sudden loss of nerve That yet at no time wast afraid To dare the greatest gods to fight with thee, [He strikes.] And now wants strength for one downe driving blow? Ah how my courage failes when I should strike; Some new-come spirit abiding in my brest, Saith Spare her Bremo, spare her, do not kill; Shall I spare her that never spared any? To it Bremo, to it; say° againe: try (essay) I cannot wield my weapons in my hand, 82 83

Change in some later editions. Weak’ned in some later editions.

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Me thinks I should not strike so faire a one: I thinke her beauty hath bewitcht my force, Or else within me altred natures course. Ay woman, wilt thou live in woods with me? AMADINE Faine would I live, yet loth to live in woods. BREMO Thou shalt not choose, it shall be as I say, And therefore follow me. [Exeunt.] Scene IV. The same. [Enter Mucedorus solus.] MUCEDORUS It was my will an houre agoe and more, As was my promise for to make returne; But other businesse hindred my pretence. It is a world to see; when man appoints, And purposely one certaine thing decrees, How many things may hinder his intent: What one would wish, the same is farthest off, But yet th’ appointed time cannot be past, Nor hath her presence yet prevented me: Well here Ile stay and expect her comming. [They cry within, Hold him, hold him.] Some one or other is pursude no doubt, Perhaps some search for me, tis good to doubt the worst: Therefore Ile be gone. [Exit.] Scene V. The same. [Cry within Hold him, hold him: enter Mouse the clowne with a pot.] CLOWNE Hold him, hold him, hold him: here’s a stir indeed: here came hue after the crier; & I was set close at Mother Nips house, and there I cal’d for three pots of ale, as ’tis the manner of us courtiers; now sirra, I had taken the maiden-head of two of them, and as I was lifting up the third to my mouth, there came Hold him, hold him: Now I could not tell whom to catch hold on, but I am sure I caught one, perchance a may be in this pot: Well Ile see, masse I cannot see him yet: well Ile looke a little further; masse he is a little slave if he be here; why heres

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no body; all this is well yet. But if the old trot84 should come for her pot, I marry there’s the matter: but I care not, Ile face her out, and call her old rusty, dusty, musty, fusty, crusty firebrand, and worse than all that, and so face her out of her pot: but soft here she comes. [Enter the Old Woman.] OLD WOMAN Come you knave, wheres my pot you knave? CLOWNE Go looke your pot, come not to me for your pot, twere good for you. OLD WOMAN Thou liest thou knave, thou hast my pot. CLOWNE You lie and you say it, I your pot! I know what Ile say. OLD WOMAN What wilt thou say? CLOWNE But say I have it and thou darst. OLD WOMAN Why thou knave thou hast not onely my pot, but my drinke unpaid for. CLOWNE You lie like an old ——: I will not say whore. OLD WOMAN Dost thou call me whore? Ile cap85 thee for my pot. CLOWNE Cap me and thou darst: search me whether I have it or no. [She searcheth him, & he drinketh over her head, & casteth downe the pot, she stumbleth at it: & then they fall together by the eares:86 she takes up her pot and runnes out.]87 [Enter Segasto.] SEGASTO How now sirra, whats the matter? CLOWNE O flies master flies. SEGASTO Flies, where are they? CLOWNE O here master, all about your face. SEGASTO Why thou liest, I thinke thou art mad. CLOWNE Why master I have kild a dungcart full at the least. SEGASTO Go to sirra, leave this idle talke, give eare to me. CLOWNE How, give you one of my eares. Not an you were ten masters. SEGASTO Why sir, I pray you give eare to my words. CLOWNE I tell you I will not be made a curtall88 for no mans pleasure. SEGASTO I tell thee attend what I say, Go thy waies straight and reare89 the whole towne.

84

Hag. Take hold of, seize. 86 That is, they fight and scratch each other. 87 Exit added in some later editions. 88 One whose ears are cropped (sometimes in the pillory). 89 Rouse, or perhaps raise because of the following pun. 85

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CLOWNE How, reare the whole towne? Even go yourself, it is more than I can doe: why do you thinke I can reare a towne, that can scarce reare a pot of ale to my head, I should reare a towne, should I not? SEGASTO Goe to the constable and make a privie search, For the shepherd is run away with the Kings daughter. CLOWNE How, is the shepherd run away with the Kings daughter, or is the Kings daughter run away with the shepherd? SEGASTO I cannot tell, but they are both gone together. CLOWNE What a foole is she to run away with the shepherd; why I thinke I am a little handsomer man than the shepherd my selfe: but tell me master, must I make a privy search, or search in the privy?90 SEGASTO Why doest thou thinke they will be there? CLOWNE I cannot tell. SEGASTO Well then search everywhere, Leave no place unsearcht for them.91 CLOWNE Oh now I am in office: now will I to that old firebrands house, and will not leave one place unsearched: Nay Ile to the alestand, and drinke so long as I can stand; and when I have done, Ile let out all the rest, to see if he be not hid in the barrell; and if I finde him not there Ile to the cupboard, Ile not leave one corner of her house unsearcht, ifaith ye old crust, I will be with you now. [Exit.]

Act IV Scene I. Valentia. The Court. [Sound Musicke. Enter the King of Valentia, Anselmo, Roderigo, Lord Barachius,92 with others.] KING OF VALENTIA Enough of musicke, it but addes to torment, Delights to vexed spirits, are as dates Set to a sicke man, which rather cloy than comfort: Let me intreat you to intreat no more. RODERIGO Let your strings sleep; have done there. [Musicke ceaseth.] KING OF VALENTIA Mirth to a soule disturb’d, are embers turn’d,

90

Latrine. Exit added in some later editions. 92 Not listed in the dramatis personæ. 91

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Which suddaine gleame with molestation, But sooner lose their sight for’t.93 Tis gold bestowed upon a rioter, Which not releeves, but murders him. Tis a drugge given to the healthfull Which infects, not cures. How can a father that hath lost his sonne, A prince both wise, vertuous, and valiant, Take pleasure in the idle acts of time? No, no, till Mucedorus I shall see againe, All ioy is comfortlesse, all pleasure paine. ANSELMO Your sonne (my lord) is well. KING OF VALENTIA I prethee speak that thrice. ANSELMO The prince your son is safe. KING OF VALENTIA O where Anselmo? Surfet me with that. ANSELMO In Aragon my liege, and at his parting, Bound my secrecy By his affectious love94 not to disclose it; But care of him, and pitty of your age, Makes my tongue blab what my brest vow’d concealment. KING OF VALENTIA Thou not deceiv’st me, I ever thought thee what I finde thee now, An upright loyall man. But what desire, or young-fed humor° fancy Nurst within his braine, Drew him so privately to Aragon? ANSELMO A forcing adamant,° powerful attraction Love mixt with feare and doubtfull° iealousie, fearful Whether report gilded a worthlesse trunke, Or Amadine deserv’d her high extolment. KING OF VALENTIA See our provision be in readinesse, Collect us followers of the comeliest hue,° of the best kind For our chiefe guardians, we will thither wend; The chrystall eye of heaven shall not thrice winke, Nor the greene floud six times his shoulders turne,95 Till we salute the Aragonian king. Musicke speake loudly now, the seasons apt, 93

Their light for it [or for’t] in some later editions. Loving or affectionate love. Affection’s love or affection’s loss in some later editions. 95 That is, in less than three days. 94

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[Exeunt.]96

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Scene II. The Forest. [Enter Mucedorus to disguise himselfe.] MUCEDORUS Now Mucedorus whither wilt thou goe? Home to thy father to thy native soile, Or trye some long abode within these woods? Well I will hence depart and hie me home, What hie me home said I? That may not be: In Amadine rests my felicity. Then Mucedorus do as thou didst decree, Attire thee hermite-like within these groves: Walke often to the beech,° and view the well, beech tree Make settles° there and seat thy selfe thereon: places for sitting And when thou feel’st thy self to be athirst, Then drinke a hearty draught to Amadine, No doubt she thinks on thee, And will one day come pledge thee at this well. Come habite thou art fit for me: [He disguiseth himselfe.] No shepherd now, an hermite must I be: Me thinks this fits me very well; Now must I learne to beare a walking staffe, And exercise some gravity withall. [Enter the Clowne.] CLOWNE Heres thorow the woods and thorow the woods, To looke out a shepherd, and a stray kings daughter: But soft who have we here? What art thou? MUCEDORUS I am an hermite. CLOWNE An emmet,97 I never saw such a big emmet in all my life before. MUCEDORUS I tell you sir, I am an hermite, One that leads a solitary life within these woods. CLOWNE O I know thee now; thou art hee that eates up all the hippes and hawes:98 we could not have one peece of fat bacon for thee all this yeare. 96

Exeunt omnes in some later editions. Ant. 98 Rose hips and hawthorn berries. 97

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MUCEDORUS Thou dost mistake me: But I pray thee tell me, whom dost thou seeke in these woods? CLOWNE What do I seeke? For a stray kings daughter, Run away with a shepherd. MUCEDORUS A stray kings daughter, run away with a shepherd, Wherefore, canst thou tell? CLOWNE Yes that I can, ’tis this; my master & Amadine walking one day abroad, neerer these woods than they were used (about what I cannot tell) but towards them comes running a great beare. Now my master plaid the man, and ran away, & Amadine crying after him: now sir, comes me a shepherd, and he strikes off the beares head, now whether the beare were dead before or no I cannot tell, for bring twenty beares before me, and binde their hands and feet, and Ile kill them all: now ever since Amadine hath beene in love with the shepherd, and for good will she’s even run away with the shepherd. MUCEDORUS What maner of man was he? Canst describe him unto me? CLOWNE Scribe him, aye I warrant you that I can; a was a little, low, broad, tall, narrow, bigge, well favoured fellow, a ierkin99 of white cloth, and buttons of the same cloth. MUCEDORUS Thou describest him well, but if I chance to see any such, pray you where shall I finde you, or whats your name? CLOWNE My name is called Master Mouse. MUCEDORUS O Master Mouse, I pray you what office might you beare in the court? MOUSE Marry sir, I am Rusher100 of the Stable. MUCEDORUS Oh, Usher of the Table. CLOWNE Nay I say Rusher, and Ile prove mine office good: for looke you sir, when any comes from under the sea or so,101 and a dogge chance to blow his nose backward,102 then with a whip I give him the good time of the day, and strow rushes presently, therefore I am a Rusher: a high office I promise ye. MUCEDORUS But where shall I finde you in the court? CLOWNE Why where it is best being, either in the kitchin eating, or in the buttery drinking: but if you come, I will provide for thee a peece of

99

(Wearing) a close-fitting jacket or short coat (jerkin). One who strews rushes on a floor. 101 Meaning obscure. It has been suggested that seat replace sea, though the passage still remains unclear. 102 That is, farts and defecates. 100

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beefe and brewes knuckle deepe in fat: pray you take paines, remember Master Mouse. [Exit.] MUCEDORUS Aye sir, I warrant I will not forget you. Ah Amadine, what should become of her? Whither shouldst thou goe so long unknowne? With watch and ward each passage is beset,103 So that she cannot long escape unknowne. Doubtlesse, she hath lost her selfe within these woods, And wandering to and fro she seekes the well, Which yet she cannot finde; therefore will I seeke her out. [Exit.] Scene III. The same. [Enter Bremo and Amadine.] BREMO Amadine, how like you Bremo and his woods? AMADINE As like the woods of Bremoes cruelty: Though I were dumbe and could not answer him, The beasts themselves would with relenting teares Bewaile thy savage and inhumane deeds. BREMO My love, why dost thou murmure to thy selfe? Speake louder, for thy Bremo heares thee not. AMADINE My Bremo, no, the shepherd is my love. BREMO Have I not saved thee from sudden death, Giving thee leave to live that thou mightst love, And dost thou whet me on to crueltie? Come kisse me (sweet) for all my favours past. AMADINE I may not Bremo, therefore pardon me. BREMO See how shee flies away from me, I will follow and give attend to her. Denie my love?104 A° worme of beauty, I will chastise thee: come, come, Prepare thy head upon the blocke. AMADINE O spare me Bremo, love should limit life, Not to be made a murderer of himselfe. If thou wilt glut thy loving heart with bloud, Encounter with the lion or the beare: And like a wolfe prey not upon a lambe. 103 104

That is, with all possible routes watched or guarded. Aside added in some later editions.

Ah

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BREMO Why then dost thou repine° at me? complain If thou wilt love me thou shalt be my queene, Ile crowne thee with a chaplet° made of ivory,105 garland And make the rose and lilly wait on thee: Ile rend the burley branches from the oake, To shadow thee from burning sunne. The trees shall spread themselves where thou dost goe. And as they spread, Ile trace° a long with thee. walk AMADINE You may, for who but you?106 BREMO Thou shalt be fed with quailes and partriches, With black-birds, larks, thrushes, and nightingales, Thy drinke shall be goats-milke, and crystall water Distilling from the fountaines and the clearest springs: And all the dainties that the woods afford, Ile freely give thee, to obtaine thy love. AMADINE You may, for who but you? BREMO The day Ile spend to recreate my love, With all the pleasures that I can devise: And in the night Ile be thy bedfellow, And lovingly embrace thee in mine armes. AMADINE One may, so may not you. BREMO The satyrs and the wood-nymphs shall attend on thee, And lull thee asleepe with musicks sound, And in the morning when thou dost awake, The larke shall sing, good morrow to my queene: And whilst he sings, Ile kisse my Amadine. AMADINE You may, for who but you? BREMO When thou art up the wood-lanes shall be strewed With violets, cowslips, and sweet marigolds, For thee to trample and to tread upon: And I will teach thee how to kill the deere, To chase the hart, and how to rouze the roe, If thou wilt live to love and honour me. AMADINE You may, for who but you? [Enter Mucedorus.] BREMO Welcome sir, an houre ago I lookt for such a guest: Be merry wench, weele have a frollick feast,

105 106

Ivy in some later editions. Asides are added to Amadine’s replies to Bremo in some later editions.

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Heres flesh enough for to suffice us both, Say sirra, wilt thou fight, or dost thou meane to die? MUCEDORUS I want a weapon, how can I fight? BREMO Thou want’st a weapon; why then thou yeeldst to die. MUCEDORUS I say not so, I doe not yeeld to die. BREMO Thou shalt not choose, I long to see thee dead. AMADINE Yet spare him Bremo, spare him. BREMO Away I say, I will not spare him. MUCEDORUS Yet give me leave to speake. BREMO Thou shalt not speake. AMADINE Yet give him leave to speake for my sake. BREMO Speake on, but be not over-long. MUCEDORUS In time of yore when men like brutish beasts Did lead their lives in lothsome celles and woods, And wholly give themselves to witlesse° will: mindless A rude° unruly rout, then man to man became uncivilized A present prey, then might prevailed, The weakest went to wals:107 Right was unknowne, for wrong was all in all. As men thus lived in this great outrage, Behold, one Orpheus108 came (as poets tell) And them from rudenesse unto reason brought, Who led by reason, soone forsooke the woods, In stead of caves, they built them castles strong, Cities and townes were founded by them then: Glad were they they found such ease, And in the end they grew to perfect amity. Waying109 their former wickednesse, They tearm’d the time wherein they lived then, A golden age, a good golden age. Now Bremo (for so heard I thee call’d) If men which lived tofore, as thou dost now, Wilde in wood, addicted all to spoile, Returned were by worthy Orpheus meanes, Let me (like Orpheus) cause thee to returne From murther, bloud-shed, and like cruelties. 107

That is, the weakest would be defeated or destroyed (a common saying). Orpheus was a legendary musician, poet and prophet in ancient Greek religion and myth, who was able to charm all living things and even stones with his divine music. 109 Departing from. Weighing in some later editions. 108

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What, should we fight before we have a cause? No, lets live and love together faithfully: Ile fight for thee. BREMO Fight for me, or die: or fight, or else thou diest. AMADINE Hold Bremo, hold. BREMO Away I say, thou troublest me. AMADINE You promised me to make me your queene. BREMO I did, I meane no lesse. AMADINE You promised that I should have my will. BREMO I did, I mean no lesse. AMADINE Then save this hermites life, for he may save us both. BREMO At thy request Ile save him, but never any after him. Say hermite, what canst thou doe? MUCEDORUS Ile waite on thee, sometime upon thy queene.110 Such service shalt thou shortly have, as Bremo never had. [Exeunt.] Scene IV. The Court.111 [Enter Segasto, the Clowne, and Rumbelo.] SEGASTO Come sirs, what, shall I never have you finde out Amadine and the shepherd? CLOWNE I have beene thorow the woods and thorow the woods, and could see nothing but an emmet. RUMBELO Why I see a thousand emmets, thou meanest a little one.112 CLOWNE Nay, that emmet that I saw was bigger than thou art. RUMBELO Bigger than I,113 what a foole have you to your man? I pray you master turne him away. SEGASTO But dost thou heare. Was he not a man? CLOWNE I thinke he was, for he said he did lead a saltsellers life round about the woods. SEGASTO Thou wouldst say, a solitarie life about the wood. CLOWNE I thinke it was indeed. RUMBELO I thought what a foole thou art. CLOWNE Thou art a wiseman: why he did nothing but sleepe since he went. 110

Aside added in some later editions. This scene in some later editions marks the beginning of Act V. In others, however, the next scene is also included in Act IV. 112 The latter part of this statement is given to Mouse in some later editions. 113 To Segasto added in some later editions. 111

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SEGASTO But tell me Mouse, how did he goe? CLOWNE In a white gowne, and a white hat on his head, and a staffe in his hand. SEGASTO I thought so, he was a hermite, that walked a solitarie life in the woods. Well, get you to dinner, and after, never leave seeking till you bring some newes of them, or Ile hang you both. [Exit.] CLOWNE How now Rumbelo, what shall we doe now? RUMBELO Faith Ile home to dinner, and afterward to sleepe. MOUSE Why then thou wilt be hanged. RUMBELO Faith I care not, for I know I shall never finde them: well, Ile once more abroad; and if I cannot finde them, Ile never come home againe. CLOWNE I tell thee what Rumbelo, thou shalt goe in at one end of the wood, and I at the other, and we will both meet together in the midst. RUMBELO Content, lets away to dinner. [Exeunt.]

Act V Scene I. The Forest. [Enter Mucedorus solus.] MUCEDORUS Unknowne to any, here within these woods With bloudy Bremo doe I lead my life; The monster he doth murder all he meets, He spareth none, and none doth him escape: Who would continue, who but only I, In such a cruell cut-throats company? Yet Amadine is there, how can I chuse? Ah silly° soule, how oftentimes she sits, And sighes, and calls, Come shepherd come: Sweet Mucedorus come set me free, When Mucedorus (peasant)114 stands her by; But here she comes: what newes faire ladie As you walke these woods? [Enter Amadine.] AMADINE Ah hermite, none but bad, And such as thou knowest. MUCEDORUS How doe you like your Bremo and his woods? 114

Present (without parentheses) in some later editions.

innocent

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AMADINE Not my Bremo, nor his Bremo woods. MUCEDORUS And why not yours? Me thinks he loves you well. AMADINE I like not him, his love to me is nothing worth. MUCEDORUS Lady, in this me thinks you offer wrong, To hate the man that ever loves you best. AMADINE Ah hermite, I take no pleasure in his love, Neither doth Bremo like115 me best. MUCEDORUS Pardon my boldnesse, faire lady, sith we both May safely talke now out of Bremoes sight: Unfold to me, if you please, the full discourse, How, when, and why you came into these woods, And fell into this bloudy butchers hands. AMADINE Hermite I will: Of late a worthy shepherd I did love. MUCEDORUS A shepherd (lady) sure a man unfit to match with you. AMADINE Hermite, this is true: and when we had— MUCEDORUS Stay there, the wild man comes, Referre116 the rest untill another time. [Enter Bremo.] BREMO What secret tale is this? What whispering have we here? Villaine, I charge thee tell thy tale againe. MUCEDORUS If needs I must, loe here it is againe. When as we both had lost the sight of thee, It grev’d us both, but specially thy queene; Who in thy absence ever feares the worst, Lest some mischance befall your royall grace. Shall my sweet Bremo wander thorow the wood, Toyle to and fro, for to redresse° my want remove Hazard his life, and all to cherish me? I like not this, quoth she: And thereupon crav’d to know of me, If I could teach her handle weapons well. My answer was, I had small skill therein; But gladsome (mighty king) to learne of thee: And this was all. BREMO Wast so, none can dislike of this: Ile teach you both to fight, but first my queene begin: Here take this weapon see how thou canst use it. AMADINE This is to big, I cannot weild it in my arme. 115 116

Love in some later editions. Defer in some later editions.

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BREMO Is’t so? We’ele have a knotty crab-tree staffe for thee:117 But sirra, tell me, what sayest? MUCEDORUS With all my heart I willing am to learne. BREMO Then take my staffe and see how thou canst weild it. MUCEDORUS First teach me how to hold it in my hand.118 BREMO Thou holdest it well:119 looke how he doth, Thou maist the sooner learne. MUCEDORUS Next tell how, and when tis best to strike. BREMO Tis best to strike when time doth serve, Tis best to lose no time. MUCEDORUS Then now or never it is time to strike. BREMO And when thou strikest be sure to hit the head. MUCEDORUS The head? BREMO The very head. MUCEDORUS Then have at thine. [He strikes him downe dead.] So, lie there and die, a death (no doubt) according to desert, Or else a worse, as thou deservest worse. AMADINE It glads my heart this tyrants death to see. MUCEDORUS Now lady it remaines in you, To end the tale you lately had begun, Being interrupted by this wicked wight: You said you loved a shepherd. AMADINE I so I doe, and none but only him: And will doe still as long as life shall last. MUCEDORUS But tell mee lady ’sith I set you free, What course of life do you intend to take? AMADINE I will disguised wander thorow the world, Till I have found him out. MUCEDORUS How if you finde your shepherd in these woods? AMADINE Ah! None so happy then as Amadine. [He descloseth himselfe.] MUCEDORUS In tract° of time a man may alter much: course Say lady, do you know your shepherd well? AMADINE My Mucedorus: hath he set me free? MUCEDORUS He hath set thee free. AMADINE And liv’d so long unknowne to Amadine? MUCEDORUS Ay thats a question whereof you may not be resolved:120 117

To Mucedorus added in some later editions. Taking the staff added in some later editions. 119 To Amadine added in some later editions. 120 That is, it is a question which you may not be able to answer. 118

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You know that I am banisht from the court, I know likewise each passage is beset, So that we cannot long escape unknowne: Therefore my will is this, that we returne, Right thorow the thickets to the wilde mans cave, And there a while live on his provision, Untill the search and narrow° watch be past: close This is my counsell, and I think it best. AMADINE I thinke the very same. MUCEDORUS Come, let’s be gone. [The Clowne searcheth, and falls over the wilde man, and so carries him away.] CLOWNE Nay soft sir, are you here? Abots on you:121 I was like to be hang’d for not finding of you: We would borrow a certaine stray kings daughter of you, A wench, a wench sir we would have. MUCEDORUS A wench of me? Ile make thee eat my sword. CLOWNE O Lord, nay, and you are so lusty122 Ile call a cooling card123 for you. O master, master, come away124 quickly. [Enter Segasto.] SEGASTO Whats the matter? CLOWNE Looke Amadine and the shepherd: oh brave.° excellent SEGASTO What minion have I found you out? CLOWNE Nay thats a lye, I found her out my selfe. SEGASTO Thou gadding huswife, what cause hadst thou To gad abroad? When as thou knowest our wedding-day so nigh? AMADINE Not so Segasto, no such thing in hand: Shew your assurance,° then Ile answer you. formal pledge or guarantee SEGASTO Thy fathers promise my assurance is. AMADINE But what he promis’d he hath not perform’d.° fulfilled SEGASTO It rests in thee for to performe the same. AMADINE Not I. SEGASTO And why? AMADINE So is my will, and therefore even no.

121

Probably “A pox on you” (imprecation). Manly. 123 That is, I’ll dampen your hot-bloodiness (a metaphor probably taken from the popular card game primero). 124 Come here. 122

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CLOWNE Master with anone, none so.125 SEGASTO Ah wicked villaine, art thou here? MUCEDORUS What need these words? Weigh° them not. Value SEGASTO We weigh them not, proud shepherd I scorne126 thy companie. CLOWNE Weele not have a corner127 of thy companie. MUCEDORUS I scorne not thee, nor yet the least of thine. CLOWNE Thats a lie, a would have kild me with his pugs-nando.128 SEGASTO This stoutnesse° Amadine contents me not. haughtiness AMADINE Then seeke another that may you better please. MUCEDORUS Well Amadine it onely rests in thee, Without delay to make thy choyce of three: There stands Segasto, a second here: There stands the third: now make thy choice. CLOWNE A lord at the least I am. AMADINE My choice is made, for I will none but thee. SEGASTO A worthy mate (no doubt) for such a wife. MUCEDORUS And Amadine why wilt thou none but me? I cannot keepe thee as thy father did; I have no lands for to maintaine thy state: Moreover, if thou meane to be my wife, Commonly,° this must be thy use,° Generally / condition To bed at midnight, up at foure, Drudge all day, and trudge from place to place, Whereby our dayly victuall for to win; And last of all, which is the worst of all, No princesse then but a plaine shepherds wife. CLOWNE Then God gee129 you good morrow goody shepherd.130 AMADINE It shall not need° if Amadine doe live, be necessary Thou shalt be crowned King of Aragon. CLOWNE O master laugh, when he is a king, Ile be a queene. MUCEDORUS Then know that which nere tofore was knowne: I am no shepherd, no Aragonian I, But borne of royall bloud: my father’s of Valentia king,

125

A common refrain in contemporary comedy (sometimes “a nonny, nonny, no”), traditionally associated with humorous, bawdy and generally light-hearted songs. 126 Despise. 127 Any part whatsoever. 128 Probably a corruption of poinado or poynado (i.e. poniard or dagger). 129 Give. 130 An idle, empty saying, dismissive in nature. Aside added in some later editions.

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My mother queene; who for thy sacred131 sake, Tooke this hard taske in hand. AMADINE Ah how I ioy my fortune is so good. SEGASTO Well now I see Segasto shall not speed,132 But Mucedorus, I as much doe ioy To see thee here within our court of Aragon, As if a kingdome had befalne me this time: I with my heart surrender her to thee, [He gives her unto him.] And looke133 what right to Amadine I have. CLOWNE What barnes doore,134 and borne where my father was constable? A bots on thee, how dost thou?135 MUCEDORUS Thanks Segasto, but you leveld at136 the crowne. CLOWNE Master beare this and beare all. SEGASTO Why so sirra? CLOWNE He saies you take a goose by the crowne. SEGASTO Goe to sirra; away, post° you to the King, make haste Whose heart is fraught with carefull doubts,° fearful uncertainties Glad him up, and tell him these good newes, And we will follow as fast as we may. CLOWNE I goe master, I runne master. [Exeunt.]137 Scene II. Open place near the Court of the King of Aragon.138 [Enter the King and Collin.] KING Breake heart and end my pallid° woes, My Amadine the comfort of my life; How can I ioy except she were in sight? Her absence breeds great sorrow to my soule, And with a thunder breaks my heart in twaine. COLLIN Forbeare those passions gentle king, And you shall see twill turne unto the best, And bring your soule to quiet and to ioy. 131

enfeebled, sickly

Secret in some later editions. That is, not succeed. 133 Lose in some later editions. 134 What, a barn’s door or What barn’s door in some later editions. 135 Aside in some later editions. 136 Aimed or intended to have. 137 Exeunt severally in some later editions. 138 This scene marks the beginning of Act V in some later editions. 132

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KING Such ioy as death, I doe assure mee that, And nought but death, except of her I heare, And that with speed, I cannot sigh thus long: But what a tumult doe I here within? [They cry within, Ioy and happinesse.] COLLIN I heare a noise of over-passing ioy Within the court: my lord be of good comfort, And here comes one in haste. [Enter the Clowne running.] CLOWNE A king, a king. COLLIN Why how now sirra, what’s the matter? CLOWNE O ’tis newes for a king, ’tis worth money. KING Why sirra, thou shalt have silver and gold if it be good. CLOWNE O ’tis good, ’tis good. Amadineʊ KING Oh what of her? Tell me, and I will make thee a knight. CLOWNE How a spright,139 no by Lady, I will not be a spright. Master get you away, if I be a spright, I shall be so leane I shall make you all afraid. COLLIN Then (sot)° the King meanes to make thee a gentleman. fool CLOWNE Why I shall want parrell.° apparel KING Thou shalt want for nothing. CLOWNE Then stand away, strike up thy selfe,140 here they come. [Enter Segasto, Mucedorus, and Amadine.] AMADINE My gratious father, pardon thy disloyall daughter. KING What doe mine eies behold my daughter Amadine? Rise up daughter, and let these embracing armes Shew some token of thy fathers ioy, Which ever since thy departure hath languished in sorrow. AMADINE Deare father never were your sorrowes Greater than my griefes: Never you so desolate, as I comfortlesse: Yet nevertheless knowing141 my selfe To be the cause of both, on bended knees142 I humbly crave your pardon. KING Ile pardon thee (deare daughter) but as for him. AMADINE Ay father what of him? 139

A spirit (e.g. ghost, fairy, goblin, etc.). That is, turn or step aside and prepare yourself. Trick instead of “strike” in some later editions. 141 Acknowledging in some later editions. 142 Kneeling added in some later editions. 140

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KING As sure as I am a king and weare the crowne Ile be reveng’d on that accursed wretch. MUCEDORUS Yet worthy prince, worke not thy will in wrath, shew favour. KING I, such favour as thou deservest. MUCEDORUS I doe deserve the daughter of a king. KING O impudent! A shepherd and so insolent. MUCEDORUS No shepherd I, but a worthy prince. KING In faire conceit,° not princely borne. In your own estimation MUCEDORUS Yes princely borne, my father is a king, My mother a queene, and of Valentia both.143 KING What Mucedorus, welcome to our court, What cause hadst thou to come to me disguis’d? MUCEDORUS No cause to feare, I caused no offence; But this, desiring thy daughters vertues for to see, Disguis’d myselfe from out my fathers court, Unknowne to any in secret I did rest, And passed many troubles neare to death: So hath your daughter my partaker beene, As you shall know hereafter more at large: Desiring you, you will give her to me, Even as mine owne and soveraigne of my life, Then shall I thinke my travells all well spent. KING With all my heart; but thisʊ Segasto claimes my promise made tofore, That he should have her as his only wife, Before my counsell when we came from warre. Segasto, may I crave thee let it passe, And give Amadine as wife to Mucedorus? SEGASTO With all my heart, were it a farre greater thing, And what I may to furnish up° their rites, complete With pleasing sports and pastimes you shall see. KING Thanks good Segasto, I will thinke of this.° I will remember this MUCEDORUS Thanks good my lord, and whilst I live, Account of me in what I can or may. AMADINE Good Segasto these great courtesies Shall not be forgot. CLOWNE Why hearke you master, bones144 what have you done? What given away the wench you made me take such paines for? You are 143 144

Throwing off his disguise added in some later editions. An exclamation, similar to those that follow: what, mas and faith.

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wise indeed. Masse and I had knowne of that, I would have had her my selfe: faith master now we may goe to breakfast with a wood-cock pie.145 SEGASTO Goe to sirra, you were best to leave this knavery. KING Come on my lords, let’s now to court, Where we may finish up the ioyfullest day, That ever hapt to a distressed king:146 Were but thy father the Valentia lord, Present in view of this combined knot.147 [A shout within: enter Messenger.] What shout was that? MESSENGER My lord the great Valentia king, Newly arriv’d intreats your presence. MUCEDORUS My father? KING OF ARAGON Prepared welcomes give him entertainment;148 A happier planet never raign’d than that Which governes at this houre. [Sound.] [Enter the King of Valentia, Anselmo, Roderigo, Barachius, with others: the King runnes and embraceth his sonne.] KING OF VALENTIA Rise honour of my age, food to my rest: Condemne not (mighty King of Aragon) My rude° behaviour, so compell’d by nature, uncivil That manners stood unknowledged. KING OF ARAGON What we have to recite149 would tedious prove By declaration, therefore in and feast: To morrow the performance shall explaine What words conceale: till then drummers speake, bells ring, Give plausive150 welcomes to our brother king. [Sound drums and trumpets. Exeunt omnes.]

145

A woodcock is proverbially a term used for a simple, foolish person. The expanded ending of this scene, first introduced in the 1610 edition, begins here. The one found in the earliest extant publication of 1598 appears in the Appendix below. 147 That is, to see this marriage. 148 In some later editions the line reads as follows: Prepare a welcome; give him entertainment. 149 Narrate. 150 Express approval by or as by applause. 146

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Epilogue [Enter Comedy and Envy.] COMEDY How now Envy; what, blushest thou already? Peepe forth, hide not thy head with shame, But with courage praise a womans deeds. Thy threats were vaine, thou could’st doe me no hurt, Although thou seem’dst to crosse me with despight,° disdain I overwhelm’d and turn’d upside downe thy blockes,° scheming And made thy selfe to stumble at the same. ENVY Though stumbled yet not overthrowne, Thou canst not draw my head151 to mildnesse: Yet must I needs confesse thou hast done well, And plaid thy part with mirth and pleasant glee: Say all this; yet canst thou not conquer me, Although this time thou hast got, Yet not the conquest neither, A double revenge another time Ile have.152 COMEDY Envy spit thy gall; Plot, worke, contrive, create new fallacies,° deceptions Teeme from thy wombe each minute a blacke traytor, Whose bloud and thoughts have twins153 conception: Study to act deeds yet unchronicled, Cast native monsters in the moulds of men, Case° vicious devils under sancted° robes; Clothe / sainted Unhaspe the wicket154 where all periures roost, And swarme this ball° with treasons, doe thy worst, earth Thou canst not (hell-hound) crosse my steare° tonight, star Nor blinde that glory where I wish delight. ENVY I can, I will. COMEDY Nefarious° hag begin, Wicked, iniquitous And let us tugge till one the mastery win. ENVY Comedy, thou art a shallow goose,° fool Ile overthrow thee in thine owne intent, And make thy fall my comicke merriment. 151

Heart in some later editions. The expanded ending of the Epilogue, first introduced in the 1610 edition, begins here. The one found in the earliest known quarto of 1598 appears in the Appendix below. 153 Twin or twin’s in some later editions. 154 That is, unfasten the gate or door. 152

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COMEDY Thy policy° wants gravity, thou art too weake: stratagem Speake fiend, as how? ENVY Why, thus, From my foule study will I hoist° a wretch, raise up A leane and hungry meager155 caniball, Whose iawes swell to his eyes with chawing° malice, biting And him Ile make a poet. COMEDY What’s that to th’ purpose? ENVY This scrambling raven with his needy° beard, sparse Will I whet on° to write a comedy; urge on Wherein shall be compos’d darke sentences, Pleasing to factious° braines; seditious And every other where place me a iest,156 Whose high abuse shall more torment than blowes:157 Then I my selfe (quicker than lightning) Will flye me to the puissant° magistrate, powerful And waiting with a trencher° at his backe, knife In midst of jollity rehearse those gaules158 (With some additions) so lately vented° in your theater:159 presented He on this160 cannot but make complaint, To our great danger, or at least restraint.161 COMEDY Ha, ha, ha, I laugh to heare thy folly: This is a trap for boyes, not men, nor such, Especially deceitfull in their doings, Whose staid° discretion, rules their purposes. grave, sober I and my faction162 doe eschew° those vices: avoid But see, O see, the weary sunne for rest, Hath laine his golden compasse to the west, Where he perpetuall bide, and ever shine, .

155

Deficient in size or quality, probably also of intellect, morals, resources, etc. There is a certain range of meaning here: a piece of raillery, a mocking speech, a taunt, etc. 157 Deliver sharp shocks. 158 Bitter jibes or insults. Galls in some later editions. 159 The reference here is unknown. Perhaps, as has been suggested, it is an interpolation put in by the printer to make the readers think that these lines allude to a quite recent event. 160 That is, upon hearing this. 161 Check or control, probably of an official nature. 162 That is, my company of players. 156

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As Davids off-spring163 in his happy clime.° Stoope Envy stoope, bow to the earth with me, Lets beg our pardon on our bended knee. [They kneele.] ENVY My power has lost her might, Envies date’s expired.164 And I amazed am. [Fall downe and quake.] COMEDY Glorious and wise Arch-Cæsar on this earth, At whose appearance Envie’s strucken dumbe, And all bad things cease operation: Vouchsafe° to pardon our unwilling errour, So late° presented to your gracious view, And weele endevour with excesse of paine, To please your senses in a choicer straine. Thus we commit you to the armes of night, Whose spangled carkasse would for your delight, Strive to excell the day: be blessed then, Who other wishes, let him never speake. ENVY Amen. To Fame and Honour we commend your rest, Live still more happy, every houre more blest.

realm

Deign Recently

FINIS.

Appendix to Mucedorus The conclusions to Act V, Scene II and the Epilogue of Quarto I (1598) are given below, left essentially in their original form (see above, p. 187, n. 146).

Act V, Scene II. With mirth and ioy and greate solemnitie, Weele finish vp these hymens165 rightes most pleasantlie. Clo[wn]. Hoe, Lordes, at the first, I am one to; but heare, maister King, by your leaue, a cast:166 now you haue done with them, I praie you begin with me. 163

King David I (1084-1153), who ruled Scotland and parts of England, was known for his piety, civility and sense of justice. In linking the two Scottish kings here, a tribute is being paid to James I. 164 In some editions the next line is: Yon splendant maiestie hath feld my sting. 165 Marriage. 166 That is, a company of players.

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K[ing]. Why, what wouldest thou haue? Clo. O you forgot! now, a little apparrell to makes handsome: what, should Lordes goe so beggerlie as I doe? K. What I did promise thee, I will performe; Attende on mee. Come, lets depart. [They all speake.] Weele waite on you with all our hearts. Clo. And with a peece of my liuer to. [Exeunt omnes.

Epilogue. Co[medy]. Then, caitife cursed, stoope vpon thy knee, Yeelde to a woman,° though not to mee, Queen Elizabeth And pray we both togither with our hearts, That she thrice Nestors yeares167 may with vs rest, And from her foes high God defend her still, That they against her may neuer worke thir will. En[vy]. Enuie, were he neuer so stoute, Would becke and bowe vnto her maiestie. Indeede, Comedie, thou hast ouerrunne me now. And forst° me stoope vnto a womans swaie. forced God grant her grace amongest vs long may raigne, And those that would not haue it soe, Would that by enuie soone their heartes they might forgoe. Co. The Counsell, Nobles, and this Realme, Lord guide it stil with thy most holy hand; The Commons and the subiectes grant them grace, Their prince to serue, her to obey, & treason to deface:° destroy Long maie she raine, in ioy and greate felicitie! Each Christian heart do saie amen with me. [Exeunt.] FINIS. London. Printed for William Iones, dwelling at Holborne conduit, at the signe of the Gunne, 1598.

167

Nestor, an Argonaut, appears both in the Iliad and the Odyssey. However, it was believed that he was about one hundred and ten years old at the beginning of the Trojan War and therefore could not have engaged in battle.

CHAPBOOK NARRATIVES

Chapbooks, which appeared somewhat later than broadsides, were mostly small paper-covered booklets often illustrated with crude woodcuts, the term being derived from “chapman,” a type of peddler who circulated such literature as part of his stock. They were aimed to appeal to a wide readership, from gentlemen to country bumpkins, with some of them targeting particular groups in society. At least as early as the mid-sixteenth century, for example, cut-down chivalric romances of the Middle Ages were being printed as quartos for the English gentry. But in far greater numbers, published as octavos or duodecimos and selling for a couple of pennies, were those meant for the lower classes, both urban and rural. In these less expensive formats they were an important medium for the dissemination of popular culture, providing entertainment, information and history (of a kind) for the common man. Like broadsides and pamphlets, many were concerned with matters of the day, frequently incorporating various types of familiar printed material within a single volume, such as cookbooks and courtship manuals, religious tracts and ballads. But by their very nature, as “lytle books,” they lent themselves to story-telling, the standard length (though with considerable variation) being twenty-four pagesʊthat is, a single printer’s sheet folded to form twelve leaves, or a duodecimo. Collections of pranks (or jests) were common fare, frequently centring on a well-known humorous figure (e.g. The Pleasant Conceits of Old Hobson), with countrymen and particular regions being the butt of many a joke. So too were the legendary exploits of folk heroes, such as Long Meg of Westminster, who comes to London and gains international recognition for her strength and valour, or the apprentice Aurelius (in Aurelius, the Valiant London Apprentice), who was inspired by “reading the famous adventures of knights-errant.” Satire and burlesque are obviously central to the latter piece, as they are in Tom Thumbe, His Life and Death, which, along with broad bawdy humour, are basic elements of chapbook narratives. Indeed such matter is the very stuff of folklore, often coming together in tales concerning witches and goblins, potions and spells (e.g. The Witch of the Woodlands) and confirming the prevalence of such deeply-rooted superstitions in the culture generally. Yet whatever the subject and wherever the source, whether it be a case of brutal murder or a

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pact with the Devil himself, moral instruction is seldom absent and, in the majority of cases, claimed as a primary goal. From the early decades of the sixteenth century, chapbooks provided an important source of reading material for all levels of society, growing in demand as literacy moved downward on the social scale. Many works which were originally the domain of the upper classes, such as Guy of Warwick and Bevis of Hampton, were later printed only in cheaper editions. Hence by the time of the Restoration, although class distinctions in readership were becoming much less clear, the English gentry had largely abandoned the romances of chivalry and related works. And as the eighteenth century progressed, with the continuing rise in general education, chapbooks became an even more prevalent literary form, with popular works of the day soon being pirated and re-edited for the lower end of the market. In fact, it was only in the middle of the following century, in the face of growing competition from magazines and newspapers, that this highly influential genre fell from favour and gradually disappeared. Their ephemeral nature, however, meant that vast numbers of them were quickly lost, the paper being used for wrapping, baking or “bum fodder” (i.e. toilet paper). Many of the surviving copies, as with other kinds of folk literature, come from the collections of various antiquarians of the latter half of the seventeenth century and afterwards, Samuel Pepys and Anthony Wood being two of the most prominent.

Tom Thumbe, His Life and Death: Wherein Is Declared Many Maruailous Acts of Manhood, Full of Wonder, and Strange Merriments1 Of the birth, name, and bringing up of Tom Thumbe, with the meery prankes that hee did in his childehood. In Arthurs court2 Tom Thumbe did live a man of mickle° might, 1

great

The rest of the title-page reads: Which Little Knight Liued in King Arthurs Time, and Famous in the Court of Great-Brittaine. (London Printed for Iohn Wright, 1630.) Below the title is a large woodcut of Tom in knightly array, mounted on a prancing horse. It is the first of eleven, most of them depicting major incidents in the narrative (see illustration below, p. 385). 2 Set in the legendary times of King Arthur, with his valiant knights of the Round Table and Merlin, his wizard.

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The best of all the Table Round, and eke° a doughty° knight: His stature but an inch in height, or quarter of a span,3 Then thinke you not this little knight, was prov’d a valiant man: His father was a plow-man plaine° his mother milkt the cow, But yet the way to get a sonne these couple knew not how, Untill such time this good old man to learned Merlin goes, And there to him his deepe disires in secret manner showes How in his heart he wisht to have a childe in time to come, To be his heire, though it might be no bigger then his thumbe: Of which old Merlin thus foretold, that he his wish should have, And to this sonne of stature small the charmer° to him gave.

also / brave, worthy

simple

enchanter

No blood nor bones in him should be, in shape and being such, That men should heare him speake, but not his wandring shadow touch: But so unseene to goe or come whereas it pleasd him still, Begot and borne in halfe an houre, to fit his fathers will: And in foure minutes grew so fast, that he became so tall As was the plowmans thumbe in height, and so they did him call, 3

In this case, probably the distance from the tip of the thumb to the tip of the forefinger.

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Tom Thumbe, the which the Fayry-Queene,4 there gave to him his name, Who with her traine of goblins grim, unto his christning came. Whereas [s]he cloath’d him richly brave, in garments fine and faire, Which lasted him for many yeares, in seemely° sort to weare: His hat made of an oaken leafe, his shirt a spiders web, Both light and soft, for those his limbes that were so smally bred.° His hose and doublet5 thistle downe, togeather weav’d full fine, His stockins of an apple greene, made of the outward rine;° His garters were two little haires, pull’d from his mothers eye, His bootes and shooes a mouses skin, there tand° most curiously.

handsome, pleasing

formed

peel, skin (rind)

tanned

Thus like a lustie gallant,° he handsomely dressed gentleman adventured forth to goe, With other children in the streets his pretty trickes to show, Where he for counters, pinns, and points, and cherry stones6 did play, Till he amongst those gamesters young had lost his stocke away: Yet could he soone renue° the same, when as most nimbly he Would dive into the cherry-baggs, and there a taker be, 4

replenish (renew)

A figure from English folklore believed to rule the fairies and sometimes associated with Morgan Le Fey of Arthurian romance. The History of Tom Thumbe, published in 1621, is generally regarded as the first English fairy-tale in print. 5 Close-fitting jacket, with attached stockings. 6 That is, various gambling tokens.

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Unseene or felt by any one, untill a scholler7 shut This nimble youth into a boxe, wherein his pins he put, Of whom to be reveng’d, he tooke (in mirth and pleasant game) Black pots, and glasses, which he hung upon a bright sunne-beame: The other boyes to doe the like, in pieces broke them quite, For which they were most soundly whipt, whereat he laught outright. And so Tom Thumbe restrained was from these his sports and play, And by his mother after that compel’d at home to stay: Whereas about a Christmas time, his father a hog had kil’d And Tom to see the puddings made, fear’d that they should be spil’d.8 How Tom Thumbe fell into the pudding-boule: And of his escape out of the tinkers budget.9 He sate upon the pudding-boule, the candle for to hold: Of which there is unto this day, a pretty pastime told:10 For Tom fell in and could not be that ever after found, For in the blood and batter he was strangely lost and drownd. 7

A pupil, particularly attending elementary school (perhaps one of the boys Tom tricked). 8 Pudding was made from the stomach or entrails of a pig or other animal, stuffed with minced meat, oatmeal, etc., then boiled. 9 A bag, usually of leather, carried here by an itinerant mender of pots, pans, etc. By this time, however, “tinker” had become synonymous with vagrant or gypsy. 10 This incident was one of the most popular in connection with Tom.

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Where searching long but all in vaine, his mother after that, Into a pudding thrust her sonne, in stead of minced fat: Which pudding of the largest size into the kettle throwne, Made all the rest to fly thereout, as with a whirle-wind blowne.11 For so it tumbled up and downe, within the liquor there, As if the Devill had there been boyld, such was his mothers feare, That up she tooke the pudding strait, and gave it at her doore, Unto a tinker, which from thence in his blacke budget bore. But as the tinker climb’d a stile,° a set of steps over a fence by chance he let a cracke:° fart Now gip12 old knave, out cride° Tom Thumbe, cried there hanging at his backe: At which the tinker gan to run, and would no longer stay, But cast both bag and pudding downe, and thence hyed° fast away. ran (hied) From which Tom Thumbe got loose at last, and home return’d againe, Where he from following dangers long in safety did remaine: Untill such time his mother went a milking at her kine,° Where Tom unto a thistle fast she linked with a twine.

11

cows

That is, it was the largest pudding to be boiled in the bowl, displacing all the others. 12 Abbreviation of “gypsy.”

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How Tom Thumbe was tyed to a thistle, and how his mothers cow eate him up: With his strange deliverance out of the cowes belly.13 A thread that helde him to the same, for feare the blustring winde Should blow him thence, that so she might, her sonne in safety finde: But marke the hap,° a cow came by, and up that thistle eate. Poore Tom withall (that as a docke)° was made the red cowes meate: Who being mist,° his mother went him calling every where, Where art thou Tom, where art thou Tom, quoth he, Here mother, here; Within the red cowes belly here: your sonne is swallowed up, The which into her fearefull heart, most carefull dolours° put.

mischance coarse weedy herb

missed

much grief and distress (was)

Meane while the cow was troubled much, in this her tumbling wombe,° And could not rest untill that she had backward cast Tom Thumbe: Who all besmeared as he was, his mother tooke him up, To beare him thence, the which poore lad, she in her pocket put. Now after this, in sowing time, his father would him have Into the field to drive his plow, and thereupon him gave A whip made of a early14 straw, to drive the cattle on: Where in a furrow’d land new sowne, poore Tom was lost and gon. 13 14

This type of tale is part of a tradition called “swallow cycle.” That is, growing early in the year, young.

stomach, belly

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How Tom Thumbe was carried away by a raven; and how he was swallowed by a giant, with other strange accidents that befell him. Now by a raven of great strength away he thence was borne, And carried in the carrions beake, even like a graine of corne, Unto a giants castle top, in which he let him fall, Where soone the giant swallowed up, his body, cloathes and all. But in his belly did Tom Thumbe so great a rumbling make, That neither day nor night he could, the smallest quiet take, Untill the gyant had him spewd three miles into the sea, Whereas a fish soone tooke him up and bore him thence away. Which lusty° fish was afeer° caught, and to King Arthur sent, Where Tom was found, and made his dwarfe,15 whereas his dayes he spent, Long time in lively iollity, belov’d of all the court, And none like° Tom was then esteem’d amongst the noble sort.

large, massive / afar

more than

Amongst his deedes of courtship done, his highnesse did command, That he should dance a galliard16 brave, upon his queenes left hand. The which he did and for the same, the King his signet17 gave, 15 Commonly associated with mythology and folklore, dwarfs feature in various Arthurian tales. 16 A quick and lively dance in triple time. 17 Signet-ring. An engraved finger-ring, usually with family crests, coats of arms, etc.

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Which Tom about his middle wore, long time a girdle brave.18 Now after this the King would not abroad for pleasure goe, But still Tom Thumbe must ride with him, plac’t on his saddle bow: When on a time when as it rain’d, Tom Thumbe most nimbly crept In at a button hole, where he within his bosome slept. And being neere his Highnesse heart, he crav’d a wealthy boone, A liberall gift, the which the King commanded to be done, For to relieve his fathers wants, and mothers, being old: Which was so much of silver coyne, as well° his armes could hold. And so away goes lusty Tom, with three pence on his backe, A heavy burthen, which might make his wearied limbes to cracke, So travelling two dayes and nights, with labour and great paine, He came into the house whereas° his parents did remaine, Which was but halfe a mile in space, from good King Arthurs court, The which in eight and forty houres, he went in weary sort: But comming to his fathers doore, he there such entrance had, As made his parents both reioice, and he thereat was glad.

18

That is, displayed as a girdle.

as much as

wherein

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His mother in her apron tooke her gentle° sonne in haste, And by the fier side, within a walnut shell him plac’d: Whereas they feasted him three dayes upon a hazell nut, Whereon he rioted° so long, he them to charges° put.

201

noble, distinguished

indulged to excess, revelled a lot of trouble

And there-upon grew wonderous sicke, through eating too much meate, Which was sufficient for a month for this great man to eate. But now his businesse call’d him foorth, King Arthurs court to see, Whereas no longer from the same he could a stranger be. But yet a few small April drops, which setled in the way, His long and weary iourney forth, did hinder and so stay,° Untill his carefull° father tooke a birding trunke in sport,19 And with one blast blew this his sonne into King Arthurs court.

delay anxious, concerned

Of Tom Thumbe running at tilt, with divers other knightly exercises by him performed. Now he with tilts and turnaments was entertained so, That all the best of Arthurs knights, did him much pleasure show, As good Sir Lancelot of the Lake, Sir Tristram, and Sir Guy, Yet none compar’d with brave Tom Thum, for knightly chivalry.

19

That is, a blow-pipe used for hunting birds.

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In honour of which noble day, and for his ladies sake, A challenge in King Arthurs court, Tom Thumbe did bravely make: Gainst whom these noble knights did run, Sir Chinon, and the rest, Yet still Tom Thumbe with matchles might did beare away the best. At last Sir Lancelot of the Lake, in manly sort came in, And with this stout and hardy knight a battle did begin. Which made the courtiers all agast, for there that valiant man, Through Lancelots steed before them all, in nimble manner ran. Yea horse and all, with speare and shield, as hardly he was seene, But onely by King Arthurs selfe and his admired queene, Who from her finger tooke a ring, though° which Tom Thumbe made way, Not touching it in nimble sort, as it was done in play. He likewise cleft the smallest haire20 from his faire ladies head, Not hurting her, whose even° hand him lasting honors bred: Such were his deeds and noble acts, in Arthurs court there showne, As like in all the world beside, was hardly seen or knowne.

20

That is, he divided the hair by a cutting blow of his sword.

through

steady, sure

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How Tom Thumbe did take his sicknesse, and of his death and buriall. Now at these sports he toyld° himselfe, that he a sicknesse tooke, Though which all manly exercise, he carelessly° forsooke: Where lying on his bed sore sicke, King Arthurs doctor came, With cunning skill, by physicks art,° to ease and cure the same, His body being so slender small this examining doctor tooke A fine prospective glasse,° with which he did in secret looke Into his sickened body downe, and therein saw that death Stood ready in his wasted guts, to sease his vitall breath,° His armes and leggs consum’d° as small, as was a spiders web, Though which his dying houre grew on, for all his limbes grew dead: His face no bigger then an ants which hardly could be seene, The losse of which renowned knight much griev’d the King and Quéene. And so with peace and quietnesse, he left this earth below: And up into the fayry land, his ghost did fading goe, Whereas the Fayry Queene receiv’d, with heavy mourning cheere,° The body of this valiant knight, whom she esteem’d so deare. For with her dancing nimphes in greene, she fetcht him from his bed, With musicke and sweet melody, so soone as life was fled:

exhausted

heedlessly, willingly

medical technique

magnifying glass

life’s breath wasted

countenance, bearing

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For whom King Arthur and his knights, for forty daies did mourne, And in remembrance of his name that was so strangely borne. He built a tombe of marble gray, and yeare by yeare did come To celebrate that mournefull day, and buriall of Tom Thum: Whose fame still lives in England here, amongst the countrey sort. Of whom our wives and children small tell tales of pleasant sport. FINIS.

From The Life of Long Meg of Westminster21 ADVERTISEMENT. The reader would perhaps take but little interest in the inquiry whether the heroine of the following amusing tract, was a real or fictitious personage; yet the discussion of the question might furnish a dissertation of no trifling extent. The present writer, however, deems it sufficient to say, he inclines to the opinion that Long Meg, Gillian of Brainford, Dobson, and others of the same stamp, whose tricks have given rise to similar narrations, were real characters of notoriety.22 21

The present edition is that of 1635, a reprint of the earliest surviving chapbook copy, acquired by Robert Bird on 29 April 1634. The rest of the title-page reads: Containing the Mad Merry Prankes She Played in Her Life Time, Not Onely in Performing Sundry Quarrels with Divers Ruffians about London: But Also How Valiantly She Behaued Her Selfe in the Warres of Bulloigne. (London: Printed for Robert Bird, and are to be sold at his shop in St. Lawrence Lane, at the signe of the Bible. 1635.) There is some evidence to suggest that an edition of this narrative appeared in 1582. But certainly by the early 1590s Meg’s adventures were widely known, her popularity reflected in the numerous literary allusions made over the following decades to her “madd merry pranks.” 22 This question has been the subject of considerable literary debate since then. However, relatively recent scholarship has found that a Margaret Barnes, “otherwise called Long Megg,” appeared in the Bridewell Hospital Court Books in

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Our heroine must have died previous to 1594, in which year her exploits were exhibited in a dramatic form by my Lord Admiralls Men.23 Gabriel Harvey, in his “Peirce’s Supererogation, or a New Praise of the Olde Asse,” London, 1600, 4to. pp. 145, 6,24 speaks of her in the following terms: “Phy,25 long Megg of Westminster would have bene ashamed to disgrace her Sonday bonet with her Satterday witt. She knew some rules of decorum: and although she were a lustie bounsing rampe,26 somewhat like Gallemella, or maide Marian,27 yet was she not such a roinish rannell,28 or such a dissolute Gillian-flurtes,29 as this wainscot-faced30 tomboy.” In a rare tract, entitled “Hollands Leaguer, or an Historical Discourse of the Life and Actions of Dona Britanica Hollandia the Arch Mistris of the Wicked Women of Eutopia; London, printed for Richard Barnes, 1632;”31 mention is made of a house kept by Long Meg on the Southwark side. “It was out of the Citie, yet in the view of the Citie, only divided by a delicate River;32 there was many handsome buildings, and many hearty neighbours, yet at the first foundation, it was renowned for nothing so much as for the memory of that famous Amazon, Longa Margarita,33 who had there for many yeeres kept a famous infamous house of open Hospitality.”34 Prefixed to the tract is a wood cut view of the house. May 1561. Moreover, there is additional evidence linking the two names, which would indicate that, despite the fictional nature of much of her exploits, Long Meg was indeed an actual character. 23 The Admiral’s Men introduced Long Meg of Westminster at the Rose theatre on 14 February 1595, with at least fifteen further performances over the next two years. 24 This prose tract first appeared in 1593. Over the succeeding years there were many other references to Long Meg and her adventures, both in dramatic and nondramatic literature, including those by Thomas Deloney, Thomas Dekker, Thomas Heywood and Ben Jonson. 25 Fie (exclamatory). 26 A bold, boisterous and ill-behaved female, a tomboy. 27 Contemporary literary examples of unruly and sexually promiscuous women. 28 A coarse hussy (referring to Gallemella). 29 A woman of light or loose behaviour (referring to Maid Marian). 30 That is, a face hardened and coloured like old oak, or wainscot. 31 A popular, scandalous comedy by Shackerley Marmion, which first appeared on stage in 1631, then was published a year later. 32 The River Thames. 33 “Long Margaret” (Latin). 34 According to the text itself (see below, Chap. XVI), Meg kept an establishment for lodging and victuals, which fell under suspicion as a bawdy house. There are also numerous contemporary references to this effect, including the following one in William Vaughan’s Golden Grove (1608): “Long Meg of Westminster kept

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Most of the readers of this will recollect a large stone in the cloisters at Westminster, known by the name of Long Meg:35 whether any relation may exist between this stone and our personage it is not our present purpose to discuss, and the circumstance is mentioned here merely on account of the coincidence of names. This rare tract is given to the reader with confidence, as an amusing specimen of the popular stories of our ancestors. TO THE GENTLEMEN READERS. Gentlemen, to please your fantasies, many men have made many pleasant jigges,36 as the Iests of Robin-hood, and Bevis of South-hampton,37 and such others, as serve to procure mirth, and drive away melancholy. Now at last, because amongst the three doctors of health, Doctor Merryman is not the least,38 and that longer lives a man of pleasant disposition, than a sad saturnist;39 when I was idle, I bethought me of Long-Meg of Westminster, and her merry pranks, as pleasant as the merriest iest that ever past the presse; a woman she was of late memory, and well beloved, spoken on of all, and knowne of many; therefore there is hope of the better acceptance. Gentlemen, Augustus would reade our riddles, when he had tossed over40 Virgils Heroicks, and Cicero would oft delirate after his weighty affaires; so I hope you will use Long Meg as a whetstone to mirth after your serious businesse:41 and if shee have any grosse faults, beare with them the more patiently, for that she was a woman; and presuming thus farre on her behalfe, I bid you farewell.

alwaies twenty courtizans in her house, whom, by their pictures, she sold to all commers.” 35 There was a large blue-black marble in the south cloister of Westminster Abbey at this time, over the grave of Gervasius de Blois, called “Long Meg of Westminster.” 36 Songs or ballads of a lively, jocular or mocking character. 37 Both were legendary English heroes of the Middle Ages. 38 A proverb prescribes for sickness Dr. Diet, Dr. Quiet and Dr. Merryman. 39 Of a saturnine or gloomy temperament. 40 Put aside. 41 That is, like the emperor Augustus Caesar and the Roman philosopher-statesman Marcus Tullius Cicero, the narrator hopes the reader will turn from more weighty matters to the present work as a means of sharpening wit and desire (a “whetsone”) and of gaining mirth and pleasure.

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THE CONTENTS OF THIS BOOKE.42 The first chapter containeth where she was borne, how she came up to London, and how she beat the carrier.43 The second containeth, how she placed herselfe at Westminster,44 and what she did at her placing. The third containeth, how she used one of the vicars of Westminster, that was a morrow Masse priest,45 and how she made him pay his score. The fourth containeth, a merry skirmish that was betweene her and Sir Iames of Castile a Spanish knight, and what was the end of their combat. The fifth containeth, the courtesie shee used towards souldiers, and other men that carried good minds. The sixth containeth, how she used the Bailiffe of Westminster,46 that came into her mistresse house, and arrested one of her friends. The seventh containeth, how shee used Woolner the singing-man of Windsor,47 that was the great eater, and how she made him pay for his break-fast. The eighth containeth a merry jest, how she met a nobleman, and how she used both him and the watch.48 The ninth containeth, how Meg went a shroving,49 and how as she came home she fought with the theeves at S. Iames corner,50 and helpt Father Willis the carrier to his hundreth markes51 againe. 42 Footnotes for chapter titles are contained here in Contents rather than at the beginning of each chapter. 43 A person who conveys goods by cart or other means for payment. 44 The cities of Westminster and London were geographically quite distinct until the sixteenth century, when urban sprawl began to build over the adjoining fields and nearby villages. The name Westminster was the ancient description for the area around Westminster Abbey. 45 A priest who celebrates Mass, usually at a side altar, early each morning. 46 An officer under the sheriff with public administrative authority, including the power to execute writs, processes, arrests, etc. 47 There was “a singing man” in the choir of St. George’s Chapel at Windsor Castle who, it is said, was famous for his eating rather than his singing. 48 A watchman appointed to keep guard and maintain order in the streets, especially at night. 49 The merrymaking side of Shrove Tuesday, the day before Ash Wednesday, when Lent begins in traditional Christianity. 50 Near St. James’s Park in Westminster. 51 In England the mark never appeared as a coin, but was used as a unit of account. After the Norman Conquest, its value was fixed at 160 pence or two-thirds of a pound sterling.

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The tenth containeth how Harry the hostler52 was prest, how she used the constable and captaine, and how she tooke presse money to goe to Bulloigne.53 The eleventh containeth how she beat the French-men from the walles of Bulloigne, and behaved her selfe so valiantly, that the King54 gave her eight pence a day for her life. The twelfth containeth her combate shee had with a Frenchman before the walls of Bulloigne, and what was the issue of the combat. The thirteenth containeth her comming into England, and how she was married, and how she behaved herselfe to her husband. The foureteenth containing a pleasant jest, how she used the angry Miller of Epping in Essex.55 The fifteenth of the mad prank shee plaid with a water-man of Lambeth.56 The sixteenth how shee kept a house at Islington,57 and what lawes she had there to be observed. The seventeenth how she used Iames Dickens, that was called huffing58 Dicke. The eighteenth how shee was sicke, and visited by a frier who enjoyned59 her penance, and what absolution60 she gave him after for his paines. CHAP. I. Containeth where she was borne, how she came up to London, and how she beate the carrier. In the time of Henry the Eighth of famous memory, there was borne of very honest and wealthy parents, a maid called for her excesse in heighth, Long Meg: for she did not onely passe all the rest of her country in the

52

A man who attends to horses at an inn, a stableman. Boulogne, a city in northern France (see below, p. 223, n. 171). 54 Henry VIII (1491-1547), King of England from 1509 until his death. 55 Epping, a market town and trade centre in the County of Essex, north-east of London. 56 A boatman licensed to ferry people and goods (in this case between Lambeth, a parish on the south bank of the River Thames, and Westminster or London). 57 A sprawling Middlesex village on the Great North Road, a region popular with the rich and eminent, though its inns were also known for harboring fugitives, etc. 58 Blustering, bullying. 59 Imposed or prescribed authoritatively. 60 Remission or forgiveness of sins (ironical). 53

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length of her proportion,61 but every limbe was so fit to her talnesse, that she seemed the picture and shape of some tall man cast in a womans mould. This Meg growing to the age of eighteene, would needs62 come up to London to serve,63 and to learne city fashions: and although her friends perswaded her to the contrary,64 yet forsooth she had determined, and up she would. Wherefore she resolved to come up, with a carrier a neighbour of hers, called Father65 Willis, and so she did, accompanied with three or foure lasses more, who likewise came to London to seek service. Well, having taken their leave of their friends, forward they goe on their journey, and by long travell at last got within the sight of London, which joyed their hearts greatly. But when they drew nigh, her fellow partners waxed sad; which Meg espying, cheared them up thus: What lasses in a dumpe,66 and so nigh London? Cheare up your hearts; though we be come from our friends, yet here shall we have good mistesses, that will allow us good wages: here at London may wee winne gold and weare gold; and there are not so many maides before us, but we may finde husbands as well as the rest: all is not broken stuffe67 the carrier brings, and if it were, what then? That the eye sees not, the heart rues68 not; let us doe well, and we shall have well. Tush,69 Meg, quoth one of her fellowes, it is not that grieves me; but Father Willis the carrier you know is a hard man, and he asketh more than wee have in our purses, for letting us ride a little on his packsaddles.70 If that be all, quoth Meg, feare not, Ile speake the carrier so faire, and if wordes will not prevaile, Ile so rib-roast71 him with a cudgell,72 as he shall wish he had never beene cole-carrier to such shrewd73 wenches. This somewhat cheared them; and even as they were in this talke, Father Willis overtooke them, and seeing they were beyond Islington ready to enter into Saint Iohn’s Street, he demanded money of them for riding. What will you have of us, quoth Meg?

61

Body, form. Was determined, of necessity, must. 63 That is, to be in service, as a maid, etc. 64 That is, tried to persuade her to the contrary. 65 A respectful title usually given to an old and venerable man. 66 Of low spirits, depressed. 67 That is, we are not so humbled or crushed in spirit. 68 Regrets. 69 An expression of impatience. 70 Saddles adapted for carrying goods by a pack-animal. 71 Beat. 72 A short thick stick used as a weapon, a club. 73 Fierce, formidable. 62

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Marry74 quoth Father Willis, ten shillings a peece. What? What? answered she, you are a merry man, ten shillings a peece, ’tis more than we have in our purses: no Father Willis, you are our countrey-man and our neighbour, and we are poore wenches, and farre from our friends, you shall have a gallon of wine, and if ever we come to keepe houses of our owne here in London, looke for amends; in the meane time to make up the bargaine, you shall have of every one of us a kisse for a favour. At this the carrier storm’d and Meg smilde, which made him so mad, that he swore if they would not pay him his money, he would cudgell ten shillings out of their bones. Marry content,75 quoth Meg, and she up with her staffe and laid him on the shoulders, where shee so beswinged76 the carrier and his man, that poore Father Willis desired her for Gods sake to hold her hands. Not I base knaves,77 quoth shee, unlesse upon conditions, and that is this, that first thou bestow upon each of us an angell78 for a handsell to our good lucke hereafter in London;79 and that thou sweare, not to depart out of this towne till thou hast placed us all three with mistresses: otherwise, as I am a true Lancashire80 lasse, I will bumbaste81 thee, as all carriers shall take examples by thee for displeasing a countrey wench. The carrier having felt the weight of her armes, thought better to give three angells, than to have so many lambasts as she would bestow upon him; and therefore not onely out with his pouch, and gave them the coyne, but swore not to depart before he had seene them placed. CHAP. II. Containing how he placed her in Westminster, and what shee did at her placing.

74 Holy Mary. An exclamation, often used in answering a question (as here), similar to “why, to be sure.” 75 As you will. 76 Beat soundly. 77 Unprincipled men (here, however, directed only at Father Willis). 78 An old English gold coin, having as its device the archangel Michael. 79 That is, the angels would be gifts ensuring good luck upon their arrival in the city. 80 A county in north-western England, where the journey began. 81 Thrash, beat soundly.

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After the carrier had set up his horse, and dispatcht his lading,82 hee remembred his oath, and therefore bethought him how he might place these three maides: with that hee called to minde that the mistresse at the Eagle83 in Westminster, had spoken divers times to him for a servant, he with his carriage.passed over the fields to her house, where he found her sitting and drinking with a Spanish knight called Sir Iames of Castile, Doctor Skelton and Will Sommers;84 told her how hee had brought up to London three Lancashire lasses, and seeing she was oft desirous to have a maid, now she should take her choyce which of them she would have. Marry quoth shee (being a very merry and a pleasant woman), carrier thou commest in good time, for not onely I want a maid, but heere bee three gentlemen that shall give me their opinions, which of them I shall have. With that the maids were bidden come in, and she intreated them to give their verdict. Streight as soone as they saw Long Meg, they began to smile; and Doctor Skelton in his mad merry veine, blessing himselfe, began thus: Domine, Domine, unde hoc?85 What is she in the gray cassock?86 Me thinkes she is of a large length, Of a tall pitch,° and a good strength, With strong armes and stiffe° bones This is a wench for the nones.87 Her lookes are bonny and blithe, She seemes neither lither nor lithe,88 But young of age, And of a merry visage, Neither beastly nor bowsie,° Sleepy nor drowsie,° 82

stature, height strong

drunken (boozy) dull, lethargic

Cargo, goods. A tavern. 84 The latter two, along with various others of Meg’s acquaintance, were famous English figures: William Sommers (d. 1560) was the best known court jester of Henry VIII; and Dr. John Skelton (c. 1460–1529), scholar and poet, was famous for his wit, satire and practical jokes. Although a good number of the characters in the narrative are historical and can be identified, others are not known and perhaps of a fictional nature. 85 “Lord, Lord from whence comes this?” (Latin). 86 A kind of long loose coat or gown. 87 Used as a metrical tag or stop-gap, with no special meaning, frequently rhyming with bones (as here) or stones. 88 Neither too bad nor too good. 83

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But faire fac’d and of a good size, Therefore Hostesse, if you be wise, Once° be ruled by me, Take this wench to thee. For this is plaine, Shee’l doe more worke than these twaine, I tell thee Hostesse, I doe not mocke, Take her in the gray cassocke.

For once

What is your opinion, quoth the Hostesse to Sir Iames of Castile? Question with her, quoth he, what she can do, and then lle give you mine opinion: and yet first Hostesse, aske Will Sommers opinion. Will smiled, and swore that his Hostesse should not have her, but King Harry should buy her. Why so Will, quoth Doctor Skelton? Because (quoth Will Sommers) that she shall be kept for breed: for if the King would marry her to Long Sanders of the court, they would bring forth none but souldiers. Well, the Hostesse demanded what her name was? Margaret forsooth, quoth she. And what worke can you doe? Faith little mistresse (quoth she) but handy labour, as to wash and wring, to make cleane a house, to brew, bake, or any such drudgery: for my needle, to that I have beene little used to. Thou art, quoth the Hostesse, a good lusty89 wench, and therefore I like thee the better: I have here a great charge, for I keepe a victualling house,90 and divers times there come in swaggering fellowes, that when they have eat and dranke, will not pay what they call for; yet if thou take the charge of my drinke, I must be answered out of your wages. Content mistresse quoth she, for while I serve you, if any stale cutter91 comes in, and thinkes to pay the shot92 with swearing, hey, gogs wounds;93 let me alone, lle not onely (if his clothes be worth it) make him pay ere hee passe, but lend him as many bats as his crag94 will carry, and then throw him out of doores. At this they all smiled. Nay mistresse, quoth the carrier, ’tis true, for my poore pilch95 here is able with a paire of blew96 shoulders to sweare as much; and with that he told them how she had used him at her comming to London. I cannot thinke, quoth Sir Iames of Castile, that she is so strong. 89

Cheerful, lively, vigorous. Tavern. 91 An aging bully, too ready to resort to weapons. 92 Amount owing, reckoning. 93 A common but strong oath, “gog” being a euphemism for God. 94 Neck. 95 A outer garment of leather or coarse wool. 96 Blue. 90

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Try her, quoth Skelton, for I have heard that Spaniards are of wonderfull strength. Sir Iames in a bravery97 would needs make experience, and therefore askt the maide, if she durst change a box on the eare98 with him: I sir, quoth she, that I dare, if my mistresse will give me leave. Yes Meg, quoth she, doe thy best. And with that it was a question who should stand first, Marry that I will sir, quoth she; and so stood to abide Sir Iames his blow; who forcing himselfe with all his might, gave her such a box, that she could scarcely stand, yet shee stirred no more than a post. Then Sir Iames he stood, and the Hostesse willed her, not spare her strength. No, quoth Skelton, and if she fell him downe, Ile give her a paire of new hose and shoone.99 Mistresse, quoth Meg (and with that she strooke up100 her sleeve), here is a foule101 fist, and it hath past much drudgery, but trust me I thinke it will give a good blow: and with that she raught102 at him so strongly, that downe fell Sir Iames at her feet. By my faith quoth Will Sommers, she strikes a blow like an oxe, for she hath strooke down an asse. At this they all laught. Sir Iames was ashamed, and Meg was entertained into service.103 * * * CHAP. IV. Containing the merry skirmish that was betweene her and Sir Iames of Castile a Spanish knight, and what was the end of their combat. There was a great suter to Megs mistresse, called Sir Iames of Castile, to winne her love: but her affection was set on Doctor Skelton; so that Sir Iames could get no grant of any favour. Whereupon he swore, if hee knew who were her paramour, hee would runne him thorow with his rapier. The mistresse (who had a great delight to bee pleasant) made a match104 betweene her and Long Meg, that she should goe drest in gentlemans 97

In an act of bravado. That is, to be so bold (dare) as to exchange blows (in this case with fists). 99 Stockings and shoes. 100 Thrust up. 101 Dirty. 102 Struck out. 103 Taken into service. 104 Agreement, compact. 98

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apparell, and with her sword and buckler105 goe and meet Sir Iames in Saint Georges Field,106 if she beat him, she should for her labour have a new petticote. Let me alone, quoth Meg, the Devill take me if I lose a petticote. And with that her mistris delivered her a suit of white sattin, that was one of the guards that lay at her house. Meg put it on, and tooke her whinyard107 by her side, and away she went into Saint Georges Fields to meet Sir Iames. Presently after came Sir Iames, and found his mistris very melancholy, as women have faces that are fit for all fancies. What aile you sweet heart, quoth he, tell me? Hath any man wronged you? If he hath, be he the proudest champion in London, Ile have him by the eares,108 and teach him to know, Sir Iames of Castile can chastise whom he list.109 Now (quoth she) shall I know if you love me, a squaring long knave110 in a white sattin doublet, hath this day monstrously misused me in words, and I have no body to revenge it: and in a bravery went out of doores, and bad the proudest champion I had come into Saint Georges Fields, and quit111 my wrong if they durst: now Sir Iames if ever you loved mee, learne the knave to know how he hath wronged me, and I will grant whatsoever you will request at my hands. Marry that I will, quoth he, and for that you may see how I will use the knave, goe with me, you and Master Doctor Skelton, and be eye-witnesses of my manhood. To this they agreed, and all three went into Saint Georges Fields, where Long Meg was walking by the wind-mils. Yonder (quoth she) walkes the villain that abused me. Follow me Hostesse, quoth Sir Iames, Ile goe to him. As soone as hee drew nigh, Meg began to settle herselfe, and so did Sir Iames: but Meg past on as though she would have gone by. Nay sirrah, stay quoth Sir Iames, you and I part not so, we must have a bout ere we passe, for I am this gentlewomans champion, and flatly112 for her sake will have you by the eares. Meg replied not a word: but only out with her sword, and to it they went. At the first bout Meg hit him on the hand, and hurt him a little, but endangered him divers times, and made him give ground, following so hotly, that shee 105

A small round shield, usually with a handle at the back. An area of Southwark where, in the 1530s, Henry VIII intended to create a hunting park. 107 A short sword. 108 That is, he will engage in combat and soundly thrash him. 109 Wants, chooses. 110 A contentious tall rogue. 111 Right, acquit. 112 Bluntly, plainly. 106

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strucke Sir Iames’ weapon out of his hand; then when she saw him disarm’d, shee stept within him, and drawing her ponyard,113 swore all the world should not save him. Oh save mee sir (quoth hee) I am a knight, and ’tis but for a womans matter, spill not my blood. Wert thou twenty knights, quoth Meg, and were the King himselfe heere, hee should not save thy life, unlesse thou grant mee one thing. Whatsoever it bee quoth Sir Iames. Marry quoth shee, that is, that this night thou wait on my trencher114 at supper at this womans house, and when supper is done, then confesse me to be thy better at weapon in any ground in England. I will do it sir (quoth he) as I am a true knight. With this they departed, and Sir Iames went home with his hostesse sorrowfull and ashamed, swearing that his adversary was the stoutest man in England. Well, supper was provided, and Sir Thomas Moore115 and divers other gentlemen bidden hither by Skeltons means, to make up the jest: which when Sir Iames saw invited, hee put a good face on the matter, and thought to make a slight matter of it, and therefore beforehand told Sir Thomas Moore what had befallen him, how entring in a quarrell of his hostesse, hee fought with a desperate gentleman of the court, who had foiled116 him, and given him in charge to wait on his trencher that night. Sir Thomas Moore answered Sir Iames, that it was no dishonour to be foyled by a gentleman, sith Cपsar himselfe was beaten backe by their valour. As thus they were discanting117 of the valour of Englishmen, in came Meg marching in her mans attire: even as shee entered in at the doore. This, Sir Thomas Moore (quoth Sir Iames) is that English gentleman, whose prowesse I so highly commend, and to whom in all valour I account my selfe so inferiour. And sir, quoth shee, pulling off her hat, and her haire falling about her eares, hee that so hurt him to day, is none other but Long Meg of Westminster, and so you are all welcome. At this all the company fell in a great laughing, and Sir Iames was amazed, that a woman should so wap118 him in a whinyard: well, hee as the rest was faine119 to laugh at the matter, and all that supper time to wait on her trencher, who 113

Dagger (poniard). Table. 115 Sir Thomas More (1478-1535), writer, statesman and noted Renaissance humanist, opposed Henry VIII’s separation from the Roman Catholic Church and, after being tried for treason, was beheaded. 116 Defeated. 117 Commenting (on). 118 Defeat, overcome (whop). 119 Obliged. 114

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had leave of her mistris, that shee might be master of the feast: where with a good laughter they made good cheere, Sir Iames playing the proper page, and Meg sitting in her maiesty. Thus was Sir Iames disgraced for his love, and Meg after counted for a proper120 woman. THE FIFTH CHAPTER.121 Containing the courtesie shee used towards souldiers, and other men that carried good minds. There resorted to the house where Meg was resident, all sorts of people, and the more for to see her, insomuch that shee was famoused amongst all estates,122 both rich and poore, but chiefly of them which wanted or were in distresse, for whatsoever shee got of the rich (as her gettings were great) shee bestowed it liberally on them that had need: there was no poore neighbour dwelling nigh, whom shee would not releeve: and if shee had seene one come in, that looked like a man,123 and was in distresse, if hee called for a pot of beere, and had no more money in his purse than would pay for his pot, shee would straight of her owne accord, set before him bread and beefe: and if the man sayd hee wanted money, Eate knave124 (quoth shee) for they must eate that are hungry, and they must pay that have money: and when he had done, shee would give him pence in his purse, and so let him goe: for this cause was she generally loved of all good fellowes about the City. On a day there came a poore souldiour to the house, that was in great distresse, simply attired, and worse maimed,125 and sitting him downe, called for a pot of beere, and with that fetcht a great sigh. How now man quoth Meg? What cheere?126 Faint not,127 after a deare yeere comes a cheape, an ounce of care payes not a dramme of debt: bee merry and fall to some service, for such idle slaves128 as thou art, are

120

Commendable, worthy. Such stylistic changes throughout the text as found here in the chapter numbering would suggest that different compositors were at work on it. 122 Social ranks. 123 That is, a proper man. 124 Meant in a friendly (perhaps wry) way, without implying bad qualities. 125 Injured (probably figuratively as there is no mention of physical disability). 126 Not of good cheer? (rhetorical). 127 Don’t lose heart. 128 One who submits in a servile manner. 121

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moathes of the Common-wealth,129 that take no other delight but to live of the sweat of other mens browes. Thou art big enough, and God hath done his part in thee, a man proper enough, and now for to live in this distresse? If I were a man, by cockes bones130 I would rather with my sword teare money out of the peasants throats, than live in this want: but see the slavish and base humors131 of cowards, that for feare live in misery. Oh Meg (quoth hee) you may say what you please, because you are a woman, but divers132 in the City have knowne mee, and seene the day when I lived like a man; but falling into extreame sicknesse, so lost my service, and now beeing recovered of my health, because I am poore, I cannot get entertainement: and for to picke a pocket, to filch133 any thing out of a house, or to steale a sheete from the hedge, or to rob any poore man, women, or children as they travel, I hold it in scorne, and had rather bee famisht, than incurre such base discredite. Marry, now that distresse wrings mee, though I have beene true all my life, yet if I had a good sword, and a good horse, perhaps I should bee so bold as talke with a purse.134 Thou (quoth Meg) trust mee I thinke thou darst not looke on a sword?135 If thou darst, wilt earne a brace136 of angels? I will lend thee a sword and buckler, goe thy wayes into Tuttlefieldes,137 and walke there, and when thou seest a servingman, a tall knave, with a blew coat, and a white sattin doublet to passe by, pick some quarrel with him, and well beswinge him, and I will beside, give thee a new suit of apparell. It is a match quoth the fellow, and after hee had drunke his pot off, shee gave him his tooles and sent him packing,138 and straight slipt on a doublet and a paire of hose, and her blew coate, tooke a sword and buckler, and downe to Parliament staires,139 there tooke boat, as though she had crost the water from Lambeth to the Fields. She was no sooner on land, and walking

129

Nation, state. A common but strong oath (“cock” being a perversion of the word God). 131 Character, nature. 132 That is, various people. 133 Steal. 134 That is, perhaps he would now be willing to become a highwayman. 135 That is, he would not dare make such use of a sword. 136 A couple. 137 Tuttle Fields (or Tuthill Fields), the highest spot in and around the flat region of Westminster, was traditionally used for various forms of combat. 138 On his way. 139 One of a number of public stairs used at high tide by watermen to ferry passengers across or along the River Thames. 130

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towards Chelsey,140 but the fellow spied her, and crost the way, and began to give some crosse language, whereupon together they went by the eares: Meg loath to hurt, was almost put to her shifts, for hee being a marvelous tall fellow, and one that feared not his flesh, layd on such a load,141 that Meg was faine to bid him stay his hand, and to discover her selfe who she was. Then home they went together, and straight she gave him a faire suit of apparell, a good sword and money in his purse, and bad him be a true man, and get him a service, and when that money was spent, come to her for more. * * * CHAP. IX. Containing how Meg went a shroving, and as shee came home how she fought with the theeves at S. Iames corner, and helpt Father Willis the carrier to his hundred markes again. When Shrove-Tuesday was come, then maides must abroad with young men for fritters;142 Meg with two more of her companions, and Harry the ostler of the house would needs to Knights-bridge143 a shroving, where they had good cheere, and payed frankly: for Meg would make every man drinke that she saw passe by: and seeing that day, came but once a yeere, she thought to lay it on, and spare for no cost. Well, the day slipt away, and night came on before they were aware, that they payd what they ought, and took their leave to depart. Father Willis the carrier that brought Meg up to London, and had been thereaway to take money, and had received an hundred markes; and for the next day he must out of towne, he would that night needs to Westminster to see Long Meg. Hee and his man trudge downe apace, and as they came just against Saint Iames corner, there were they met by two tall fellowes,

140

Chelsea was an affluent village on the River Thames, upstream from London and serving it as a market garden. 141 Dealt such heavy blows. 142 Portions of batter, sometimes containing slices of apple, meat, etc., usually fried in oil or lard. 143 A hamlet lying between the villages of Chelsea, Kensington and Charing, renowned as the haunt of highwaymen and cutthroats, who waylaid travellers on the western route in and out of London.

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and rifled144 of all they had, their money taken from them, and they throwne bound in a ditch. When they had this coyne, saith the one, Now let us be gone. Nay by the Masse,145 quoth the other, we have sped well, and seeing wee have so good hansell,146 wee’ll have one fling more whatsoever fall out. As thus they stood talking, they spyed Long Meg, and her companions: Yonder are three wenches, quoth he, will yeeld us something, and a tall squire that goes with them; lye that we be not spied. As Meg was comming downe, she sayd to the two other maides, Come set the better foot afore,147 ’tis late, and our mistresse will think much we tarry so long. Lord blesse us and send us well home, quoth the other, for this is a dangerous corner. I have heard them say, that theeves lye heere and rob men as they passe. Theeves, quoth Harry? Feare not theeves as long as I am in your company, for Ile dye before you take any wrong. With that on they went, and as they past by where Father Willis lay, he saw them and cryed out; Alas good gentlemen and gentlewomen, helpe a poore man that lies bound here, robbed of that he hath. And there let bim lye, quoth Harry, for I warrant they are theeves, that counterfeit148 themselves bound, to have us come to them. What man, quoth shee, art afraid? Give me thy staffe; for by the grace of God I will goe see who it is: and if they be any false knaves, ’tis Shrove-Tuesday night, and I will give them ribroast for a farewell to flesh: with that she tooke Harries staff, and forward she went, and when shee came at them, Father Willis knew her, and cried out, Ah good Meg, helpe to unbinde mee, for I am undone, and almost kild. Why what art thou? I am, quoth hee, Willis the carrier, who brought you up to London. Alas poore man quoth shee, and so she unloosed him, and questioned with him how the matter fell out? He told her all, that comming to see her he was rob’d. She bade him be of good cheare, and take no care, for she would do her best towards his losses. And as they were walking homeward, one of the theeves with a good sword and buckler stept before, and said, Stand.149 Stand, quoth Meg, what meane you by that? Marry, quoth hee, gentlemen, ’tis hot weather, and you must goe lighter home by your gownes and purses. You looke not with the face, quoth Meg, as though you would hurt women. As thus they were talking together, Harry, Father Willis and his man, ran away and hid 144

Robbed. A common oath (Mass). 146 A presage or omen of good luck (handsel). 147 That is, walk faster. 148 Feign, pretend. 149 The full phrase, “Stand and deliver,” was commonly used by highwaymen when first confronting passengers. 145

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themselves, and the two wenches stood quaking for feare, and presently put off their gownes and their purses. Dispatch,150 quoth one of the theeves, and off with your gowne, and so fare you well. It shall he done sir, quoth shee. As soone as Meg had stript her into her petticoate, and was light and nimble, she stept to her staffe, and stretching her selfe, said: Sirs, this is the matter, you tooke even now a hundred markes from a poore carrier, now you rascals I am come to claime it, and I will have it every penny ere I passe, or I will leave my carkasse here for a pawne.151 Shee is a good wench I warrant her,152 quoth one of the theeves; and therefore for thy sake take up your gownes and your purses, and farewell, and pray for good fellowes. Nay, you cowardly knaves, quoth she, we must not part so. I must have a hundred markes out of your flesh; and therefore play me this faire play: you are two to one, lay me downe the hundred markes to our gownes and our purses, and they that win all weare all,153 I or you. Content, quoth the theeves, and because thou art so lusty, when we have well beswindged thee, wee’ll turne thee into thy smocke, and let thee goe home naked. Doe your worst, quoth she: now lasses pray for me. With that she buckled154 with these two sturdy knaves, and hurt the one sore, and beat downe the other, that they intreated her upon their knees to spare their lives. I will villaines, quoth she, upon condition. Any condition mistresse, quoth they whatsoever. Marry then, quoth she, the conditions shall be these: 1. First, that you never hurt woman, nor company that any woman is in. 2. Item, that you hurt no poore man, or impotent155 man. 3. Item, that you rob no children nor innocents. 4. Item, that you rob no pack-men156 nor carriers: for their goods nor money is none of their owne. 5. Item, no manner of distressed persons: but of this I grant you exceptions, that for every rich farmer and country chuffe157 that hoord up money, and lets the poore want, such spare not, but let them feele your fingers. How say you, quoth she, are you content to agree to these conditions? We are, quoth they. I have no bookes about me, quoth she: but because 150

Make haste, be quick. As a pledge, surety. 152 “I’ll be bound” (used colloquially as an expression of strong belief). 153 That is, winner take all. 154 Engaged or contended with. 155 Helpless. 156 Pedlars. 157 Miser or avaricious person. 151

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you shall observe your oath firme and without wavering, sweare on the skirt of my smocke. Although it grieved them to be thus disgraced, yet feare made them grant to any thing: and taking her smocke, they layd their hands on it, and said thus: Be we leefe or be we loath,158 By the skirt of your smocke, we will never breake our oath. With that they kist her smocke, and rose up. And Meg shee gave the wenches their gownes and their purses, and tooke the hundred markes up under her arme, bade them farewell. The men desiring to know who it was that had so lustily beswinged them, said: Nay mistresse for all this sorrow, let us have so much favour at your hands, as to tell your name. She smiled and made them this answere: If any aske you, who curried159 your bones? Say, Long Meg of Westminster met with you once. And with that shee went away; and they full of griefe that a woman had given them a foyle. CHAP. X. Containing how Harry the oastler was prest, how she used the constable and captaine, and how she tooke presse-money to go to Bulloigne. In these daies while Meg flourisht, and was famous thorow England for her doughty deeds: there fell out great strife between the French king160 and Henry King of England: whereupon he resolved to levie161 an army of men, with a mighty fleet to passe into France; upon which there was a general presse162 through England, and especially about London and Westminster, because the King would leave the borders of his land strong. In this hurly burly163 it so fell out, that the Constable of Westminster 158

Be we willing or unwilling. Beat, thrashed. 160 Francis I (1494-1547) was King of France from 1515 until his death. The struggle against the emperor Charles V filled the greater part of his reign. 161 Raise (levy). 162 Compulsory enlistment of men in the army or navy. 163 Commotion, turmoil. 159

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pressed Harry the ostler, that was servant with Long Meg; who being very loth to goe, dealt so with Meg, that shee began to intreat the constable, and to tell him that he was the only stay of his mistresses house: and if that he were prest forth, his mistresse were undone. All this could not persuade the constable, but Harry must needs goe. Whereupon Meg said he should not goe. And so they grew at words, till Meg lent the constable a box on the eare. And with that all the street was on an uproare, that the constable was beaten for pressing of a man. The captaine hearing this, came downe himselfe, and askt who had struck the constable? Marry, quoth Meg, that have I; and were it not that I reverence all souldiers, and honour captaines, I would strike thee too, if thou didst offer to presse our man. At this the captaine smiled. Nay, never laugh, quoth Meg, for I dare doe as much as any of thy troope, either advancing my colours,164 tossing of a pike,165 or discharging of a peece:166 for proofe, quoth shee (and shee snatcht a caliver167 out of ones hand that stood by), see how well I can both charge and discharge;168 which shee performed with such nimblenesse and activitie,169 that they all wondred at her: and therefore captaine, quoth shee, presse not our man; but if thou wilt needs have one of every house, give me presse-money,170 and I will goe under thy colours. At this they all laught, and the captaine drew his purse and gave her an angell. Whereupon according to her promise, shee made provision for her passage, and went with him to Bulloigne. CHAP. XI. Containing how she beat the French-men from the walls of Bulloigne, and behaved her self so valiantly, that the King gave her eight pence a day for her life. After the King had passed over the sea, and had entered up into France with a strong power, hee encamped before Bulloigne, and then first wonne Bulloigne, and the Oldeman, so that he tooke the towne wholly in 164

That is, the colours of the regiment (i.e. a flag, ensign, or standard). A spear-like weapon. 166 A fire-arm, gun. 167 A light kind of musket. 168 Load and fire. 169 Energy. 170 Money paid to a soldier or sailor on his enlistment, acceptance of which was legal proof of his engagement. 165

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possession, and plac’d a garrison in it.171 The Dolphin of France172 upon this came downe with a great power, and lay before Bulloigne; and upon one night taking advantage of the time, hee slew one of the sentinels, and came to the walls, where he was discovered by the watch, who straight rung alarum: but they in the towne wearied with long waking, were in a dead sleepe, so that they made little haste. Meg being then a landresse173 in the towne, and up late at worke, stept up, and called up the rest of the women, and with a halbert174 in her hands, came to the walls, upon which some of the French were entred, and there shee layd on loade, and caused her women souldiers to throw downe stones and scalding water in such abundance, that maugre their teeth175 shee rebatted them176 from the wals, before the souldiers in the towne were up in armes; and at the issue177 was one of the formost with her halbert to follow the chase. The report of this valiant deed being come to the eares of the King, he for her life time gave her eight pence a day. CHAP. XII. Containing the combate shee had with a French-man before the walls of Bulloigne, and what was the issue of the combat. While the Dolphins army lay in view before Bulloigne, there was a French-man that sundry times would as on a bravery come within shot and tosse his pike, and so goe his way. Long Meg seeing the pride of this French-man, desired that a drum might be sent,178 to signifie that there was a common souldier, a young stripling, that would at the push of the pike try a veny179 with their champion. Upon this it was agreed, and a place 171

The siege of Boulogne, Henry’s third invasion of France and in alliance with the Holy Roman Emperor Charles V, took place from 19 July to 18 September 1544. A Roman-era lighthouse, known as the “Old Man” (Oldeman), fell in the initial attack, after which the lower town was captured following heavy bombardment. 172 The 16th Dauphin of France (1519-1559) became dauphin in 1536 and king in 1547. 173 Laundress. 174 A kind of combination of spear and battle-axe. 175 Despite their resistance. 176 Drove them back. 177 Sally, sortie. 178 That is, a small party (sometimes the drummer alone) might be sent with a drum to parley with the enemy. 179 Bout.

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appointed between both armies where they should meet, and fight it out to the death. The day came, the French-man all in a jollity came and tost his pike before the walles. With that Meg was ready, and went out and met him, and without any salutations they fell to blowes, where there was a long and dangerous combate: but at last Meg overthrew him, and layd him along;180 when she had done, she puld out her symeter181 and cut off his head: and with that pulling off her burganet,182 shee let her haire fall about her eares; whereby the French-men perceived she was a woman: and thereupon the English without Bulloigne gave a great shout; and Meg by a drumme sent the Dolphin his souldiers head, and said, an English woman sent it him Whereupon he commended her much, and sent her an hundred crownes183 for her valour. CHAP. XIII. Containing her comming into England, how she was married, and how she behaved herselfe to her husband. When the warres were ended in France, Meg came home to her old place of residence to Westminster, where shee was married to a proper tall man, and a souldier, who used her very well, and shee returned him as great obedience, coveting184 any way that shee might to breed his content: which hee perceiving, loved her passing well; yet for that he had heard sundry of her exploits that shee had done, and how mankind185 she was, on a time he sought to pick a quarrell and fall out with her, and calling her aside unto a backe chamber, stript her into her petticoate, and there delivered her one staffe, and tooke himselfe another, and told her, that for that hee had heard shee was so mankind as to beat all shee met withall, he would try her manhood, and therefore bade her take which cudgell she would. She replied nothing, but held downe her head. And with that hee layd her on three or foure blowes. And shee in all submission fell downe upon her knees, desiring him to hold his hands and to pardon her. Why, quoth he, why take you not the sticke and strike? Husband, quoth she, whatsoever I

180

Lengthwise, at full length (on the ground). A short, curved, single-edged sword (scimitar). 182 A helmet with a visor (burgonet). 183 Gold coins, first minted by the French and then the English during this period. 184 Desiring. 185 Masculine, manly. 181

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have done to others, it behooveth186 me to bee obedient towards you; and never shall it be said, though I can swindge a knave that wrongs me, that Long Meg shall be her husbands master: and therefore use me as you please. At these words they grew friends, and never after fell they at such mortall jarre.187 * * * CHAP. XVI.188 Containing how she kept a house at Islington, and what lawes she had there to be observed. After her marriage shee kept a house of her owne, and lodging and victuals for gentlemen and yeomen,189 such and so good, as there was none better in all Islington, for there then shee dwelt. Now for that oftentimes there resorted gentlewomen thither, and divers brave courtiers and other men of meaner degree, her house was spoken of:190 and on a time the constable came to search, and would not bee answered what guests she had, but needs would be an eye-witnesse. Whereupon Meg in a great choller started up in her smocke, and taking a strong cudgell in her hand, opened the doore for the constable. Come in, Master Constable, quoth she, and let me see your warrant, what suspected persons you seeke for in my house, take heed you goe not an inch beyond your text, for if you doe, were you a constable of velvet,191 I will as well beswindge you as any constable was beswindged since Islington stood; and when you have done, you carry none out of my house to night, for I will be answerable for all that are resident in my house. Whereupon Master Constable seeing the frownes of Megs face, and the fearefull bastinado,192 told her quietly, he would take her word, and so departed. Meg because shee would have a tricke above all others in her house, as indeed shee surpassed all other victualers in excesse of company: for she refused none of what estate or condition

186

Is proper (for). Conflict, discord. 188 This chapter is misnumbered as fifteen in the 1635 edition. 189 Commoners or countrymen of good standing, under the rank of gentlemen. 190 See above, p. 205, n. 34. 191 A constable of the highest rank. 192 Cudgel. 187

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soever; so she hanged up this table193 in her house, wherein were contained these principles: 1 Imprimis, That what gentleman or yeoman came into her house, and had any charge194 about him, and made it privy195 to her or any of her house, if he lost it by any default,196 shee would repay it him ere he past: but if he did not reveale it, and after said he was rob’d, he should have ten bastinadoes with a cudgel, and be turned out of doores. 2 Item, Whosoever came in and cald for meat, and had no money to pay, should have a good box on the eare, and a crosse made upon his backe, that he should never be suffered to drink more in the house. 3 Item, That if any good fellow came in and bewailed his case, that hee was hungry and wanted money, he should have his belly full of meat on free cost, and money in his purse, according to his calling. 4 Item, That if any ruffler197 came in, and made an alehouse-brawle, and when he had done, would not manfully goe into the field and fight a bout or two with Long Meg, the maides of the house should drie198 beat him, and so thrust him out of doores. These and many such principles had she set up in her house, that made her house quiet. CHAP. XVII. Containing how she used Iames Dickins, that was called huffing Dicke. Once it chanced that Meg was making her selfe readie to go to dinner with certaine of her friends at the Bell in Aldersgate Street,199 amongst the which was Sir Iames Withrington, an old acquaintance of hers: and in the meane time while she was making her selfe ready, came in this huffing Dicke, that had made a vow to quarrell with Long Meg, and cal’d for ale. The wench brought him in a pot. And he straight in a bravery swore gogs wounds whore, what a pot is this that thou givest me? and threw it against the wall. The wench began to scold with him for breaking her pot. And 193

Tablet. Possessions, such as money. 195 Privately known, confidential. 196 Failure or fault (presumably on her part). 197 A proud swaggering or arrogant fellow. 198 Severely (dry). 199 A tavern in Aldersgate Street, a road leading north from Aldersgate towards Clerkenwell in Islington. 194

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hee up with his sword, scabberd200 and all, and beate her so, that the girle cryed out. And she being above, and hearing that noise, came running downe, and askt what is the matter? The poore wench cryed, and told her all. Sir, quoth she, very mildely, what is the reason you breake my pots, and then beat my servants? Why, quoth Dicke, if thou mislikest it, mend it if thou canst. Marry, quoth she, I will; and with that reatcht downe a pike staffe, and bade him follow. Out went swearing Dicke, all in his huffes with Meg into a close hard by;201 and together they goe: where Meg so beat him, that she had almost kil’d him. Oh hold thy hands, quoth hee, and spare my life. Then the Devill take me, quoth shee: for the King hath granted me a pardon for one man; and hang me if it be not thou, unlesse thou wilt grant me one condition, and that is this: Thou shalt put my maides petticotes on, and follow me to day to dinner with a sword and a buckler; and I will be drest in mans apparell. Rather kill me, quoth the fellow. Marry content, quoth Meg, and began to lay sorer bats upon him. Alas, quoth hee, hold your hands, and I will doe whatsoever you will have me. Upon this she let him goe, and carried202 him home with her, and drest him full womanlike. Well bodied he was, but hee had a long beard, to cover which, on his knees he craved he might have a muffler to shadow it;203 at last she granted it: and having drest her selfe in mans attire, tooke a forest bill204 on her necke, and forward they went downe to Smithfield.205 Every one that saw the wench carry the sword and buckler, laught, that a multitude of people, of men, women, and boyes followed. When they were right against the Buls-head at the Barres,206 a crue207 of cutters that knew Long Meg, met her, and askt her how she did, and what quarrel shee had in hand, that her selfe wore a forest bill, and her maid a sword and buckler? Faith, quoth Meg, a little broyle,208 and my boy was not at home, and so I tooke my mayd, and shee forsooth must weare a muffler: and with 200

The case or sheath of a sword. A nearby enclosure. 202 Took, conveyed. 203 That is, a scarf to conceal the beard. 204 A heavy thick knife with a hooked end, used for pruning, cutting brushwood, etc. (a woodsman’s bill-hook). 205 Situated in the north-west part of London, just beyond the City wall, Smithfield was a popular place for public gatherings, with Bartholomew Fair being held there every summer since the early Middle Ages. It was also the site of a centuries-old livestock market and had a bloody history of executions of dissenters and political figures. 206 Probably the Bullshead tavern at Aldersgate. 207 Gang (crew). 208 Quarrel (broil). 201

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that shee pul’d the clout from his face, and his blacke beard was seene. All the crue straight knew him, and began to fall into a great laughter, demanding the reason of this strange chance. Meg told them all what had hapned: whereupon Dicke would not follow any further. By gogs bloud knave, quoth shee, goe to dinner with mee, or I will cut off thy legs with my forest bill. So poore Dicke was fain to trudge;209 and in she came and shewed Sir Iames Withrington what a proper page shee had got. Hee and the rest of the guests laught heartily at the matter; and full mannerly did he waite upon her trencher all dinner time: and when dinner was done, shee called him to her, and said: Now sirrah I discharge you my service, and cashiere210 you for a brawling knave; yet for that you shall not say you served an ill mistresse, hold, there is forty shillings for thy labour to buy thee a new suit of apparell. Dicke took the mony, and for very shame went out of London, and was never seene within the City after. CHAP. XVIII. Containing how she was sicke, and visited by a frier, who enjoyned her pennance; and what absolution she gave him after for his paines. In Queene Maries dayes,211 when friers and monks began againe to shew themselves, it chanced Meg fell sicke of a grievous sickenesse, as such grosse212 bodies are commonly pinched213 with sorest paines, when they once fall into any infirmity. The disease having more matter to worke upon in a fat body than a leane: an instance of this principle was Meg, for shee lay so mortally sicke, that the physicians gave her over: yet at last her criticall day came, wherein triall of her health should bee had to see whether Nature or disease were strongest. Nature had the supremacy, and Meg began to amend,214 insomuch that shee could sit upright in her bed. On a day when shee was growne more strong, it chanced that Frier Oliver who was one of the morrow Masse priests, called to remembrance that

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That is, he was obliged to walk along with her. Dismiss, discharge. 211 Mary I (1516-1558) was Queen of England and Ireland from July 1553 until her death. In her restoration of Roman Catholicism to Britain, her brutal persecution of Protestants caused her to be known by her opponents as “Bloody Mary.” 212 Big, large. 213 Afflicted. 214 Recover (aphetized to mend). 210

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Meg was sicke: whereupon taking his portuce215 by his side, hee thought to fetch some spending money from her, and walkt to her house, where he came very gravely; and at that instant were divers of her neighbours come to see how she did. As they were talking, word was brought to Meg that Frier Oliver was there with his portuce and his holy water. What, quoth shee, after meat, mustard; ’tis no matter, bid him come in; and with that Frier Oliver comes in with Deus hic,216 and salutes her and all the rest of the wives, saying, he was very sorry to see Meg sicke; but, quoth he, ’tis the Visitation of the Lord217 for the great sinnes you have committed: for Meg, quoth he, you have beene counted a lewd woman, a swearer, a ruffler, a fighter, and a brawler, as you may see here in your chamber the signes; and with that he pointed to the swords and bucklers, pike-staves and halberts that hung there; these, quoth he, are tokens of your ill life, and how in your sicknesse you have not repented you of your former ill life. Many such hard words did Frier Oliver give her, and told her that for her offences she must take the pennance of the Church, otherwise, quoth he, I must complaine to the ordinary,218 and so to the bishop, and compell you to it by injunction.219 Meg, who fretted at this sawcinesse of the frier, because her neighbours were there, forbare220 him, and demanded what her pennance might be? Marry, quoth Frier Oliver, because you have beene a publike offender, you must have publike pennance; and therefore I doe enjoyne you221 that presently upon the recovery of your health, the next Sunday at Masse you come into the church, and there kneele before the pulpit, and declare to the people the vilenesse of your life; and so shall you then and there before the parish aske God and the world forgivenesse. At this the very fire seemed to sparkle in Megs eyes for anger, but shee concealed it with patience, and intreated Frier Oliver to be good unto her and enjoyne her some other punishment. The good wives intreated for her,

215

A portable breviary or book of daily prayers, hymns, etc. prescribed for Roman Catholic priests (portas). 216 “God be here” (Latin). 217 God’s punishment. 218 An official of the church, usually a bishop or his deputy in a diocese, who had jurisdiction in ecclesiastical cases. 219 Authoritative order. 220 That is, because her neighbours were there she put up with him. 221 That is, impose a punishment on her.

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but all in vaine: for Frier Oliver swore either she should abide that pennance, or else he would complaine to Bishop Bonner.222 Why, quoth Meg, never knew I frier but he was a good fellow; is there not a shift of descant223 left for me? Faith no, quoth hee, unlesse thou bestow five pound for five solemne Masses.224 Marry Frier, quoth Meg, and that shalt thou have straight, rather than I will abide such publike shame: with that shee cal’d her maid, and bade her fetch twenty English crownes, which she gave to the frier, whose heart leapt at the sight of the golde: hee soone pocketted it up, and said, that he would say five Masses himselfe for her soules health. And upon this Meg and the frier were agreed. Well, all seemed to the best, and the company began to be merry. Frier Oliver hee was blithe and gamesome with the young wives, and shewed fruits of his life in his outward actions: for a more bawdy frier there was not in England, and that knew Meg well enough: but letting that passe, the wives said that they must be gone, for their houre was come. Why, whither goe you, quoth Meg? To a churching225 at Chelsey, quoth they. Marry and I will be your man thither, quoth Frier Oliver. The wives were glad of the friers company, and so they tooke their leaves, and left Meg passing melancholy at the knavery of the frier. Well, revenge broyled in her brest, insomuch that she start up (sicke as she was) and drest her selfe in mans apparell, and in the afternoone having a good bat in her hand, walked easily into Tuttlefields to watch the comming home of the frier: where she had not walked long, but she espied where the gossips226 came, man’d only with the frier. And Meg crost the lees227 and met them; and at her first salute, greeted the frier, and said: Oliver, I am sent to thee from God, not onely to tell thee of thy sinnes, but to enjoyne thee pennance for the same. First, as concerning thy offences, thou livest not as holy men of the Church should: for thou art a whoremaster, frequenting the company of light and lascivious women, given to covetousnesse, and sitting all day bibbing228 at the ale-house, when thou shouldest bee at thy booke, with a thousand more other offences, which I 222

Edmund Bonner (c. 1500-1569), Bishop of London, became known as “Bloody Bonner” for his role in the persecution of heretics under Queen Mary, and ended his life in prison under Queen Elizabeth. 223 That is, some other option. 224 Masses of a special character, sometimes called High Masses. 225 The public appearance of a woman at church to return thanks after childbirth. 226 Friends. 227 Grasslands, meadows (leas). 228 Continuously drinking, tippling.

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cannot rehearse;229 therefore hath the Lord sent thee thy choice, whether thou wilt from this place be whipt naked to the priory in Westminster,230 or else pay twenty nobles231 to the poore mens box; one of these resolve upon; for frier, one thou must doe, and shalt doe, before thou stirre. At this Frier Oliver was amazed, and could not tell how he should like this sudden greeting, but said, Who or what art thou? No man, Frier (quoth Meg) but a spirit, sent from God to torment thee. At this the wives were all afraid: and the frier sayd, In nomine Iesus232 avoid Satan, and would have runne his way. In nomine Iesus stand frier, quoth Meg, and with that she reacht him such a rap, that the frier thought his backe had beene broken: Sirrah, quoth shee, dispatch, either chuse to be whipt from hence to the doctor, or else pay downe twenty nobles. Alas quoth the frier, I have not twenty nobles, but here is ten angels in gold, and foureteene shillings in white money,233 take that for a satisfaction of mine offences, give it for my sinnes to the poore. Give it me, quoth Meg. As soone as she fingered the money, she told him, that seeing he wanted some odde money,234 that his body should pay it: and with that she light upon the friers pilch, and beat him so sore, that he trusted better to his feet than his hands, and so ran away. The poore women they were sore agast, but Meg straight discovered her selfe. When they saw her face, and knew all, their feare was turned to laughter; and away they went to the taverne, and spent the friers fourteene shillings in good cheere. The newes of this (as women are good secretaries)235 came to the eares of all the friers in Westminster, how Frier Oliver was served, which was such a disgrace to him, that a long while after he was ashamed to shew his face in the streetes. FINIS.

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Recount. Westminster Abbey Church of Saint Peter. 231 English gold coins (also called georges), valued at 6s. 8d. 232 “In the name of Jesus” (Latin). 233 Standard silver coin. 234 That is, as he was still owing some money. 235 That is, as women are good at keeping secrets (ironical). 230

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The Witch of the Woodlands, or, The Coblers New Translation236 CHAP. I. In the Wilde of Kent,237 not far from Rumney Marsh there dwelt a merryconceited238 cobler, commonly called Robin the Devill,239 which afterwards came to be called, The Witch of the Woodlands. This cobler alwayes had a speciall care to please his customers, but chiefly he would be sure that if any pretty wench brought him a job to doe, he would go through stitch with her worke first of all; he could jest and be merry in companie; he could sing in his shop like a nightingale; he could cut a caper240 with Jack Pudding,241 and was not much inferiour to lusty Laurence,242 which got eighteen wenches with childe all in one yeare, for it was well knowne that he got three wenches with childe all in one night, but as the proverb goes, The pitcher that goes often to the water, may at last come broken home: and The sweetest meat requires the sowrest sawce: So it fared with Robin the Cobler, for one of his wenches being suddenly brought to bed with a male childe, the mother of the damosell served Robin the Cobler with a warrant, and made him to marry her daughter out of hand; then was the poore cobler fallen into a pecke of troubles,243 and knew not how to behave himselfe: for though he had been factor244 for Mars, yet he never was made a Vulcan245 before that 236

The rest of the title-page reads: Written by L. P. Here Robin the Cobler for His Former Evils, Was Punisht Worst Then Faustus Was with Devils. (London, Printed for John Stafford, dwelling at the S[i]gne of the George at Fleet-bridge. 1655.) A large woodcut appears below the title (one of six) of the cobbler, the witches and their conjurations (see illustration above, p. xv). The initials are most probably those of Laurence Price (c. 1625-1680?), a writer of ballads, pamphlets and, in 1673, The Famous History of Valentine and Orson. 237 A weald or woodland in the County of Kent, south-eastern England. 238 Jovial and witty. 239 Robert (or Robin) the Devil, a legendary figure of medieval origin, was the devil’s own child, committing monstrous crimes until he underwent a religious conversion. There are many versions of the story, including Thomas Lodge’s Robin the Divell (1591). 240 That is, dance in a frolicsome manner. 241 A buffoon character appearing in stage and street performances. 242 A play on the author’s own name? 243 A great deal of trouble (figurative). 244 Agent, deputy. 245 In Roman mythology, Mars was the god of war and second in importance only to Jupiter, while Vulcan was the god of fire and metal-working. Perhaps, however,

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time; and now must he provide for cloutes and whitles,246 fire and candle, sope and starch, white bread and milke, a nurse and a cradle, with many other matters which belongs to married men to looke after; but as it is in the proverbe, That one ill chance followes another, so was it with him for the other two damosels which he had formerly made use of, now began to make use of him, and brought him two children more to keep, which was done both on one day; which when Robin the Cobler did behold, he fell into such a fearfull quandarie, so that the people that beheld him, said that he lookt so pittifully upon the matter, that they thought in their mindes that he would never be good247 againe. Then began Robin with dolefull words, with weeping eyes, and with wringing hands to bewaile his former follies, saying, O silly rogue that I am, was it not enough for me to sing, dance, drinke ale, breake cakes, talke and be merry amongst maids? but that I must like a towne-bull, over-run all that stand in my way, and so in the end he pounded for my breaking loose; now am I in a worse case then Porrage John, Marret the lawyer, or the cow-keeper of the Pinder of Wakefield;248 I would that my father had never begot me, then should I never have begotten so many wenches with childe; or else I would that some honest sow-gelder had done his office upon me to keep me honest, then had I scap’t the misery now I am sure to endure: now whilest Robin the Cobler was making this sorrowfull lamentation, a friend of his whispered him in the eare, and gave him counsell to be gone from them all, saying, That one paire of heeles is worth two paire of hands; whose counsell Robin tooke, as you shall heare in the following chapter. CHAP. II. Robin the Cobler having hearkened to his friends advice, made no more to doe of the matter, but trust up249 his tools to be gone, resolving to come for London, and there to worke journey-worke250 till such time that his the reference here is to the latter’s fertilizing power and associations with the hearth. 246 Swaddling clothes and petticoats. 247 Well, particularly regarding his state of mind. 248 Familiar literary figures, “The Jolly Pinder of Wakefield” being a well-known ballad about the meeting of Robin Hood and a pinder (i.e. a local officer who impounds stray animals, etc.). 249 Packed (trussed). 250 Work done for daily wages or for hire (hence a journeyman).

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children were come to be men, and able to worke for themselves; but as he passed along the countrey, which is called the Wilde of Kent, he lost his way in the woodlands, when night was almost come upon him, and finding no path to guide him, he wandred up and downe till it was almost ten of the clocke in a pittifull cold frosty darke winters night: but at the last he heard a cocke crow, whereby he understood that there was some dwelling house near at hand, and so being somewhat comforted to heare the crowing of the cocke, he made his approach to the house, and knocking at doore, there came forth an old woman with a dish clout251 bound about her head, and a staffe in her hand, and demanded of Robin to know what hee knockt for; O mother, quoth he, I am a poore distressed traveller which hath lost my way, and willing would I be to give six pence for a bed this night to lay my weary bones on: Marry,252 quoth she, all the beds that I have are not worth six pence, for I have no more then253 what I lye on my selfe, but if thou wilt take paines to doe as I doe, thou and I will lye together for once,254 where we will hug one another as the Devill hugg’d the witch:255 Robin beholding and taking notice of her person all the body over, saw that she was long-nos’d, bleare-ey’d, crooked-neckt, wrymouth’d,256 crump-shoulder’d,257 beetle-brow’d,258 thin-belly’d, bowlegg’d, and splay-footed:259 He began to frame an excuse, saying, Good mother, I pray you to consider this, that I am a batchelour, and never came in bed with any woman since I was borne of my mother; Wilt thou sweare that that which thou speakest is true: I will, quoth Robin, whereupon he heard a hollow voice, as if it came out of the top of a chimney, crying three severall times, Robin the Cobler is mine; Robin the Cobler is mine; Robin the Cobler is mine; these words when he heard, he thought that some she-devill was come to fetch him away alive, and presently he fell into such a trembling condition, that his hands shooke, his pulses beat, his heart panted, his head aked, his nose dropt, his belly rumbled, and a certain parcell260 of melting teares dropt out of the lower ends of his breeches, and so falling downe upon his knees to the old woman, desired 251

A cloth used for washing dishes, etc. Holy Mary. An exclamation, often used in answering a question (as here). 253 Than. These two words were often used interchangeably at this time. 254 One time only. 255 A popular saying, emphasizing the passion of the embrace. 256 With a twisted mouth. 257 Crooked-shouldered. 258 That is, with a scowling, sullen face. 259 Flat-footed, often turned outwards. 260 Small quantity. 252

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her to let him have a lodging, how she would, or where she would; then the old woman tooke him in, and with a remnant of water which she had kept a long time in a chamber-pot for that purpose, she washt him from the crowne of the head to the sole of the feet, and made him as white as if [s]he had washt him in puppy-dog-water, and so they went lovingly to bed together; what followed after shall be related in the ensuing discourse. CHAP. III. After that Robin the Cobler had taken his first sleep, he awaked, and turning himselfe on the other side, he sent for his bed-fellow, but she was not there; and having gotten all the bed-room to himselfe, he began to wonder with himselfe about the passages261 which had hapned to him the night before, and therewithall he bethought himselfe how he might use a meanes to get away before the old witch his new-made landlady came backe againe to him, for he supposed that she had gone forth to fetch companie to cut his throat; but whilst he was thus thinking, in came the old woman with three more of her disciples, with every one of them a light torch in her hand, crying out all at once, that they would be revenged on Robin the Cobler for all his whore-hunting tricks: These foure female witches could transforme themselves into any humane shape at their owne pleasure; so she that Robin tooke to be his mother-in-law, brought in an ugly beare at her heeles, another brought a ravening262 wolfe, and the third brought a sharp long broad bladed knife; poore Robin, although the weather was cold, and the bed-clothes very thin, yet he was hot enough: for being in a stinking feare, he covered himselfe over head and eares, all save one hole that was in the cover-lid, which he now and then closely peept out at, but durst not to stir for his life; but now begins the game, the grand witch of the companie, otherwise called the landlady of the house, put her hand under the bed, and pulled out a taber and a pipe,263 and plaid such a fit,264 that it lasted till it was within two houres of day; all this while the other three witches danc’d the Irish hay265 with their heeles upwards, meane time poore Robin the Cobler lay abed and bepist266 himselfe, till at last two quarts run through the bed upon the ground, whether it were done 261

Events, occurences. Voracious, ravenous. 263 Small drum and flute. 264 Song (fytte, fitt, etc.). 265 A country dance with a winding movement. 266 Unrinated on (pissed on). 262

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for joy, or for feare, Ile leave that to other such as himselfe to consider of; but when the musicke was ended, the beare began to rore, and the woolfe began to howle for food, then said the old witch, I have in the house the bravest267 breakfast for your two familiars268 that they have feasted on ever since they devoured the two damnable whores which were bewitcht as they rode in a coach towards a bawdy-house in London; and now since that witches have power of none but swearers and cursers, theeves and dissemblers, pimps, bawds and panders, whores and whore-hunters, and such like manner of people, let us make the best use of our time that we may: And now you shall see what a gallant269 prize I have lighted upon by chance: there was a merry disposed cobler, which dwelling not far from the towne of Rumney, who was every day used to drinke, swagger, swear and domineere, and oftentimes he would say that he car’d not a turd for all the witches in the world, and that he had a trick to defend himselfe from the power of witches; which was by washing his hands, and saying his prayers every morning before hee went forth of the doores; but although he served God in the morning, he served the Devill ere night; for there was hardly one day in the weeke, but he would goe a whoring, and oftentimes he would intice honest wenches to sinne by his dissembling speeches, and his false forswearing270 himselfe, making them believe, that if he got them with child, he would marry with them; amongst the rest, he got three midwives daughters with childe, all in one night, making every one of them believe, and swearing that he would marry with them the morrow after, which he never did intend, but at last Goodwife Webb the widdow forc’d him to marry her daughter; which being done, the other two wenches which he had gotten with childe, being delivered, brought him their two children to keep, so as he got them all three with childe in one night, so they brought him three children to keep in one day; these things he thought that witches had not knowne, but my imps spent not their time in vaine, for I every night sent forth my famil[i]ar imp Madge of Wakefield, in the likenesse of a blacke cat, which told me of every thing that Robin the Cobler did doe; but the archest piece of roguerie that ever he did in all his life, was done to a widdow woman in the Isle of Thanet,271

267

Most excellent. Supernatural creatures who served witches and others, often appearing as animals. 269 Fine, grand (ironical). 270 Vowing, swearing. 271 The Isle of Thanet, lying at the most easterly point of Kent, was separated from the mainland until shortly after this time. 268

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for he promis’d her marriage, and made her sell her widdows dote272 for foure and twenty pound, and told her, that if she would lend him the money to buy him leather, that he would be married to her on Thursday next, and wisht, that if he did not doe according to his promise, that he might be torn in pieces with wolves and beares, but he never came backe to the widdow again; and last of all he run away from his wife and three children, and now he lies under that coverlid: When the other three witches had heard this discoverie, they all leapt for joy, and the three familiar spirits which went in the shape of a wolfe, a beare, and a blacke cat, were ready to teare the witches to pieces for victuals, they were so hungry; then said one of them to the rest, Seeing hee wisht that hee might be devoured by wolves and beares, he shall have his wish, and he shall presently be cut in quarters, and the wolfe shall have his heart, liver, and lungs for his breakfast, the beare shall have his paunch273 and bowels, and the cat shall have his privy members to gnaw upon: Nay, quoth the older witch, it shall not be so, for he shall not have so pleasant a death as you speake of, but we will have a little more sport with him before he dyes: That very word procured some comfort to Robins languishing spirits; for he had rather chuse to lead a sorrowfull life, then to dye a sudden death: And now to be briefe in the matter, they pul’d the bed-clothes from off him, and made him stand up starke naked as ever he was borne before them, the wolfe bit him by the throat, the beare bit him by the bum, and the cat bit him by the members, and every one drew bloud of him, but did him no great harme at that time; Now, said the old witch, we have markt you for our owne, and therewithall she past sentence upon him, that he should have three dayes punishment for his former offences, and afterwards he was to be eaten up alive; the first of the three dayes he was to be transformed into the shape of a fox, and to be chased with dogs from morning till night. The second day he was to be a riding hag,274 and to carry the witch whither she pleased: the third day he was to be an owle, and to fly from one place to another all the day long; so having agreed upon the matter, as soone as the day appeared, Robin the Cobler was to be a fox, and so out of the doores they set him a running, and having transform’d themselves into the shape of dogs, followed close at his heeles, and every time they overtooke him, they bit him by the buttockes, and nipt him most devillishly, for they had no mercy in their teeth. 272

The portion of a deceased husband’s estate which the law allows to his widow for life, dower. 273 Stomach, belly. 274 That is, he was to be ridden by a witch (hag)ʊor in this case, witches.

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The next day they transform’d him into the shape of a horse, and so the witches got upon his backe, three of them at a time, and rid him over hils and mountaines, through rivers and ponds, through all sorts of waters thicke and thin; and worst of all, they rid him through so many bushes, brambles, and briars, til they tore the very skin from the flesh of him; so that the whoremasters bloud of his run from him in many places; and yet were not his sorrowes at an end, nor no man knowes when they will be. The third day they made an owle of him, who flying up and down from tree to tree at noon time of the day, crying, whu, whu, whu, the birds came thick and threefold275 about him, wondering most strangely to see an owle abroad by day-light; wherefore to fulfill the old proverbe, they all fell upon him like pyes276 upon an owle: and to be briefe, they pluckt his feathers, broke his wings, and pickt out one of his eyes: This being done, the grand witch consulting with the rest of the witches, saying, that Robin the Cobler had done enough of any conscience for his wenching tricks, and so they turn’d him into the shape of a swan. And last of all they withdrew their en’chanting spels, and so Robin the pitifull cobler became a man againe; but before he departed, they made him to kneele downe, and kisse every one of their fleshy parts, and therewithall they parted houshold. CHAP. IV. How Robin the Cobler having got loose from the witches, became a new man, and of many notable exploits which he did, you shall pleasantly heare.277 Now when Robin the Cobler had broken the spels of witchcraft, his eyesight, his hearing, his speech, his senses, and his knowledge, was all restored unto him againe, but yet he lookt of a pitifull complexion, just as a man may say, like one of Pharaoh’s leane kine;278 his visage was pale and ghastly, his eyes seemed as if they were sunke into his head, his nose was like the nose of a scoulding ale-wife, long and sharp, and his tongue did gaggle, as if it had been made of the Devils bollock279 leather, his belly 275

That is, numerous times (literally three). Magpies. 277 Titles were introduced for the final two chapters, perhaps indicating a different compositor. 278 Cows. 279 Testicles. 276

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and his backe were so clung together, that he was scarce able to shit for bones.280 Nor had he any kind of habit281 to put on that was worth the throwing to the dunghill, only an old lowlie smocke, and a paire of slip-shooes,282 which one of the witches had given him out of her meere pittiful charity; but yet he knew himselfe to be in a far more happier taking283 then he was in before, when he was riven with these she-devils at one time. Then began Robin to ruminate, and to think what course he were best to take, and which way was best for him to steere his helme, and at last he resolved to take his journey once more for the famous city of London, and to try if fortune would afford him any better lucke then he had before; but he vow’d that he would keep along on the road, and never goe through the woodlands any more, for feare lest the witches should meet with him again. Now as he passed along on the way; in every towne and village where he came, the boyes and the children would run away from him, thinking that he had been mad, insomuch that there was not one idle boy or girle to be seen in the streets, but here comes one, the very bitterest of al, poor Robin the Cobler, having gone along on his journey for the space of almost two wofull days and nights, without bread or drinke, or money to buy, he began to bewaile his sorrowfull life, in this mournfull manner: Oh pittifull cobler that I am, for now I am in a worse case then ever I was before. When I was a horse, the witches did ride me, and put me to much pain, but yet they gave me somewhat to feed upon at night, though it were but branne and water, which I can approve to be pretty good fare for horses when they are very hungry, and so they may have enough to fill their bellies withall. When I was a fox, the witches in the shapes of dogs ran after me, and hurried me up and downe, and at every stop and turne bit me by the buttocks; but now am I hungerbitten,284 which is ten thousand times worse. When I was an owle, I was most shamefully abused, and wondred at by other birds; but now am I made a wondring stocke285 to all the folks that sees me, insomuch that no man, woman nor childe, wil not nor dare not come anear me, long as the poverty of my flesh, and disguise of habit. Oh what a pitifull wretched case am I in now; an ape, an owle, a fox, a goose, a horse, an oxe or an asse is in a far better taking then I am

280

A slang expression emphasizing the cobbler’s emaciated condition. Clothing. 282 Loose, slipper-like shoes. 283 Condition. 284 “Bitten” or pinched with hunger, famished (hunger-bitten). 285 An object of wonder. 281

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in. O that I could with Diogenes mare feed upon thistles,286 or like a camelion, live by the aire.287 Now whilst he was thus complaining, by chance came along a blind beggar man, which had a whole wallet288 full of fragments of fish and meat, and mammacks289 of bread and cheese, which he had gotten amongst his good benefactors. When Robin the Cobler had fixt his eyes upon the blind mans wallet of victuals, the very heart in his belly leapt for joy, hoping that then he should fill his belly once againe, and thereupon taking courage upon him, he made his addresse, and spake to the blind beggar man, by way of complement, knowing that the blind man could not see what manner of person he was, and so taking hold of him by the shoulder, began to expresse his mind in this manner: Well overtaken father, how far walk you this way. Marry, quoth the beggar, but to the next village, and for want of a guide to leade me, I am in feare that I shall come too late to my lodging. Why, quoth the cobler, rather then you shall doe amisse, I will take the paines to lead you my selfe, for I love old men with all my heart. CHAP. V. Here followeth a discourse of the happy fortune that happened to Robin the Cobler after all his miseries. As Robin the Cobler was leading the blind beggar along on the way, the blind man found him to be exceeding diligent, and therewithall desired of Robin to know who he was that would undervalue himselfe to take paines to lead him; then quoth Robin, I am a gentleman borne and bred, and so you would say if you could but see me; but as it comes to passe, I have never a penny to help my selfe, for I have been a valiant cavalier for the king, but by the fortune of the wars I am utterly undone for ever, unlesse some speedy help come by heavenly Providence. I tell you father, my land not long since was sequestred,290 my goods and my money taken from me, and my body carried to prison, where I have lain three years, three months, three weeks, and three dayes, and at the last, by happy chance I got out of 286

Diogenes of Sinope (c. 412-c. 323 B.C.) was a practitioner of the philosophy of Cynicism, choosing to live the life of a beggar. Hence his horse, it was claimed, learned to eat thistles. 287 There was a popular belief that chameleons could live entirely on air. 288 A bag for holding provisions, clothing, etc. 289 Pieces (mammocks). 290 Confiscated, appropriated.

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prison; but now I am out I know not how to live, nor how to get one bit of bread to relieve my hungry stomacke, for I have been fasting two days and nights, and never a bit of victuals came within my body: Alas for you, good sir, said the beggar, I much lament your case, but if you will be pleased to accept of such poore fare as I have in my wallet, you shall be heartily welcome to it, and the next alehouse that we come to I will give you liquor of the best to swallow it downe: whereupon the wallet was laid downe, and the victuals sorted out upon the green banke. I thinke there was no need to bid Robin to eat, but when he had filled his belly away they went together cheerfully to the place appointed, where they lay lovingly together that night, and the next day the beggar brought him home to his owne house, where was plenty of good clothes, both of woollen and linnen, with which the beggar suited Robin, and also directed him to a coffer where was two hundred and fifty pounds of ready money; All this quoth the beggar, shall be your owne when I dye, if you will stay with me all my life time. Whereupon the cobler replyed, With a very good will sir; which bargaine being made, Robin and his old master would every day walke about to good mens houses, to see what victuals they could get, till at the last, Robin became as cunning at the trade as his master, and was acquainted with most of the master-beggars that lived in the County of Kent. But to conclude, in processe of time, the blind beggar dyed, and then all his wealth fell to Robin, who afterwards went home to his former habitation, and tooke order291 for the breeding up of the three children that he got in one night, and gave the two wenches ten pounds apiece for the injury that he had formerly done them, and threw the rest of the money into his wives lap, and so endeth the story of Robin the Cobler. FINIS.

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JEST-BOOKS

Jest-books are collections of short comic anecdotes and witticisms of popular lore, founded in trickery and peopled with pranksters and bumpkins, profligate wives, ignorant scholars, wily doctors and foolish peasants. Although frequently bawdy and coarse, they can also be verbally subtle and intellectually clever. Yet, whatever the case, these “merriments” (later given the name of jest-books by Horace Walpole) seek primarily to entertain and delight. Even grave Sir Thomas More, while awaiting his execution in 1535, confessed that “a merry tale with a friend, refresheth a man much, and without any harm lighteth his mind and amendeth his courage and his stomach, so that it seemeth but well done to take such recreation.” Not all his contemporaries, however, would have agreed with him. Preachers from the time of Henry VIII onward delivered severe denunciations against jests and jesters—indeed against every kind of “low literature.” And during Queen Mary’s reign, an edict was made against “books, ballads, rimes and treatises” which had been “set out by printers and stationers, of an evil zeal for lucre and covetous of vile gain.” Nevertheless, with the incorporation of the Stationers’ company in 1557, and as the Elizabethan Age got underway, numerous printers were registered and hack-writers proliferated. Thus jest-books and other types of “toys and trifles” became increasingly important reading material for English society, and at all levels. The origins of this genre are largely found in the medieval Latin exempla and in Poggio Bracciolini’s late fifteenth-century scatological jokebook Facetiae, translated by Caxton as The Fables of Poge the Florentyn in 1484 which soon became familiar to clerics and laity alike. Other sources lie in the French fabliaux and various anthologies of German, Spanish and Italian tales. Indeed, some English jests retained certain distinctive continental features, especially in their settings and characters, instead of being more completely adapted for an English readership. Finally, a number may well have come from the oral tradition, a small proportion of English samples showing no trace of foreign association. Jest-books generally, therefore, drew not only on different outside sources but considerably on each other. They first appeared across

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European countries in the late fifteenth century, the rough plebeian humour of the German collections in particular finding a ready market in England upon translation into the vernacular. The earliest English jestbook was published in 1526 under the title of A C. Mery Talys, much along the lines of the fabliaux. Mery Tales and Quicke Answeres (1535) followed, which, for all its obscenity and crudeness, reveals clear signs of the new humanism in its verbal wit and subtlety. And only a few years after that, organizing its material geographically, after the fashion of the medieval exempla, a collection of the merry men of Gottam probably made its appearance. In all three works one finds many of the stock characters, stratagems and low-life buffoonery of the later tradition— usually with the knave outwitting the fool. In the early years of Elizabeth’s reign, anonymous English compilers found it profitable, following various continental models, to gather their jests around a central character of wit and roguery. Thus the so-called biographical jest-book appeared with the publication of the Merie Tales of Master Skelton and The Geystes of Skoggon, both probably printed for the first time in the mid-1560s. Others soon followed, the principal figures often being court jesters and comic actors, Oxford scholars and female inn-keepers—their names, such as Richard Tarlton, George a Greene the Pinder of Wakefield, Mother Bunch and George Peele, known to all. But by the early seventeenth century, due to the vast popularity of these folk collections, established writers became engaged in their production. Richard Johnson, for example, signed the Dedication to The Pleasant Conceites of Old Hobson (1607); and John Taylor, the self-styled Water Poet, included Wit and Mirth in his collected works of 1630. Many of their jests were well suited to the Renaissance image of urban life, placing emphasis on facetious anecdotes, smart quips and quick ripostes. Hence a greater variety of types of this nature developed, reflected in such titles as Conceits, Clinches, Flashes, and Whimzies (1639), a fact borne out by Robert Chamberlain’s remark that now “there be quips, taunts, retorts, flouts, frumps, mocks, jibes, jests, jeers, etc.” Even in the names themselves a further display of such wit and humour can be seen. Nevertheless, whether the emphasis of these “merry tales” is on ribaldry or wit, vulgar language or subtle improvisation, they laugh at folly and rejoice in one man getting the better of another. Universal in character and from a timeless tradition, they comprise, as has been aptly stated, “ancient tales new told.”

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From Merie Tales of the Mad Men of Gotam1 The ii. tale. Theare was a man of Gotam dyd ryde to thee market wyth twoo bussheles of wheate, and bycause hys horse shoulde not beare heauye, hee caryed hys corne uppon hys owne necke, and dyd ryde uppon hys horse, because hys horse shoulde not cary no heavy burthen.2 The iii. tale. On a time the mƝ of Gotam,3 wold have pynned4 the cockow, that she should sing all the yeare and in the myddest of the towne they dyd make a hedge5 (round in compas,) and they had got a cocow, and put her in it and sayde, Singe here all the yeare, and thou shalte lacke neyther meate nor drincke. The cocow as soone as shee was set wyth in the hedge, flew her waye. A vengeaunce on her sayde they, we made not our hedge high ynough.

1

In all probability, around 1540, a chapbook collection of twenty stories about the “mad men of Gotham” was published. But possibly due to its immense popularity, there is no trace of this edition or of those known to have existed in the following decadesʊat least until recently, when a unique copy was discovered of the Thomas Colwell text, printed around 1565. The only other extant edition before the Restoration is that of 1630, which is familiar to the modern reader from its reprint in W. Carew. Hazlitt’s Old English Jest Books, 3 vols. (1864). The present selections are from the Colwell publication, its title-page reading: Merie Tales of the Mad Men of Gotam. Gathered To Gether by A. B. [Andrew Borde or Boorde] of Phisike Doctour. There is then a large woodcut depicting a robed man in an enclosure holding a cuckoo and, in the background, presumably a walled and castellated Gottam (see illustration above, p. xiii). 2 In the 1630 edition, the following moral was added: “Judge you which was the wisest, his horse or himselfe.” 3 Gotham, a village in Nottinghamshire. It should be noted, however, that at least forty-five other English villages and one in Wales lay claim to the tales. 4 Penned in. 5 Enclosure.

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The vii. tale. When that Good-Frydaye6 was come, the men of Gotam dyd caste theyr heads together what they wuld doe with theyr whyte hearyng,7 and theyr red hearyng, and their sprottes,8 and salt fyshe. One consulted with the other, and agreed that all such fysh should be cast into their pǀd or poole (the whiche was in the myddle of theyr towne,) that it myghte increase againste the nexte yeare. Everye man that had any fishe lefte, dyd cast it into the poole, the one sayd I have thus manye whyte hearinges, the other sayde, I have thus many sprots, another sayde I have thus many red hearings, the other said I have thus much salte fyshe. Let all go together in to the poole or pond, and we shall fare like lordes next Lent. At the beginninge of the next Lent, folowinge, the men dyd drawe9 theyr ponde to have theyr fyshe: & there was nothing but a great ele. (A[h] sayde they all) a myschiefe10 on this ele, for he hathe eate up all our fyshe. What shal we do wyth hym sayde the one to the other. Kill hym said another. Chop him al to peces said another. Nay not so said other, let us drowne him: be it sayd all. They wente to another poole or pond by, and dyd cast in the eele into the water. Lye theare sayd they and shift for thy selfe, for no helpe thou shalte have of us. And theare they left the eele to bee drowned. The x. tale. On a certaine tyme theare weare twelve of Gotam did goe a fysshyng, & some did wade in the water, and some stoode a drye lande. And when that they went homewarde, the one sayde to the other, Wee have ventured farre to day in wadyng I pray God that none of us (that dyd come from home) bee drowned. Marye sayde the one to the other, let us see that, for theare dyd twelve of us come oute. And they tolde11 themselves, and everre man dyd tell a leven, and the twelfe man dyd never tell him selfe. Alas sayde the one to the other there is one of us drowned. They went backe to the brooke whear that they had ben fishing and sought up and down for him that was drowned, & dyd make great lamentacion. A courtyer dyd come 6

Roman Catholics traditionally ate fish and not meat on Fridays, especially during Lent, with Good Friday marking the end of this holy period. 7 Herring. 8 Sprats. 9 Drain, empty. 10 A euphemistic substitute for “the devil” (imprecatory). 11 Counted.

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ridyng by and dyd aske what that they dyd seeke. And whye they weare so sorye. O sayd they this daye we wente to fysshe this brooke and there dyd come out twelve of us, and one is drowned. Why said the courtier tell how many be of you. And the one tolde .xi. and hee dyd not tell himselfe. Well sayd the courtier what will you geve mee & I wyll fynd out twelve men? Syr sayde they, al the money that we have. Geve mee the money sayde the courtier. And he began with the fyrste, and did geve him a recombƝtibus12 over the shoulders that he groned, and sayd There is one: So he served all that they groned on the matter. When he dyd come to the laste he payde him a good [blow] sayinge, Here is the twelfe man. Gods blessing on your hart sayd all the companie, that you have found out our neighbour. The xii. tale. There was a man of Gotam & hee dyd not love his wyfe: & she havinge a fayre heare,13 hir husbande said divers times that he would cut it of[f], & he durste not doe it when she was waking, but when she was a sleape. So on a night, he toke up a paire of sheres and layde them under hys beads head, the whyche the wyfe perceyved. And then shee dyd call to one of her maydes and sayde, Go to bead to my husband, for hee is mynded to cut of my heare to nyght, let him cut of thy heare, & I wyll give thee as good a kyrtle14 as ever thou dydst weare. The mayde dyd so, & faynded her selfe a sleepe the whiche the man perceyvyng cut of the maydes heare and dyd wrap it about the sheres and layde it under hys beaddes head, and fell a sleape. The wyfe made her mayde to aryse, & tooke the heare and the sheres, & went into the hall & burnte the heare. This man had a horse the which hee dyd love above all thynges. The wyfe went into the stable, & cut of the horse tayle, & dyd wrap the sheres in the horse tayle, and layd it under hir husbƗds heade. In the mornynge shee dyd ryse be time,15 & did sit by the fire keyming16 hir head. At last the mƗ did come to the fire, & seyinge his wife keyming hir hed marveled on it. The maide seing her master standing in a browne studie17 saide, What a devil aileth the horse in the stable for he bledeth sore. The good man ran into stable, & founde that his horse taile was cut of. Hee wƝt to his beads head & did finde the sheres

12

Hearty blow. Beautiful hair. 14 Skirt or outer petticoat (kirtle). 15 Early (betimes). 16 Combing. 17 Deep thought, contemplation. 13

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wrapt in hys horse taile, & did com to his wife saying, I cry the mercie18 for I had thought that I had cut of thy heare to night, & I have cut of my horse tayle. Ye[a] sayd she selfe do selfe have. Manye a man thinketh to do another mƗ a shrewde turne, and [it] turnethe oft tymes to his owne selfe. *

* *

FINIS. Imprinted at London in Fletstret, beneath thf [sic] Conduit, at the signe of S. Iohn Euangelist, by Thomas Colwell.

From Scoggins Iests19 What shift20 Scogin and his fellow made, when they lacked money.21 After this, Scogin and his chamber-fellow22 lacked money, and Scogin said, If thou wilt be ruled after me, we will goe to Tame23 market, where we shall overtake going or comming some that drive sheepe,24 now doe as I shall tell thee, and we will get some money: And as they went to Tame, they did see a man drive sheepe. Then Scogin said to his fellow, Goe thou before, and make bargaine with him, that the sheepe bee no sheepe, but hogs, and when that thou hast made a full bargaine, aske by whom the matter shall be tried, and say thou, by him that shall next overtake us. The 18

A common expression, similar to “I beg your pardon” (mercy). Two separate texts of Scoggin’s jests (Skoggon, Scoggin, etc.) appeared in the latter half of the sixteenth century, both surviving in single copies in two later editions. The earliest record of the original one, reprinted in 1626, is in the Stationers’ Register of 1566. Probably due to its great popularity, a rival to it was produced during the 1590s, and then reprinted in 1613. The present tales are from the earlier collection, its title-page reading: The First and Best Part of Scoggins Iests. Full of WittyMirth and Pleasant Shifts, Done by Him in France, and Other Places: Being a Preservative against Melancholy. Gathered by Andrew Boord [Boorde or Borde], Doctor of Physicke. (London, Printed for Francis Williams. 1626.) Below the title is an emblematic woodcut, apparently placed over another. 20 Expedient or ingenious device. 21 This tale is also included in The Sack-full of Newes. Further examples of jests, similar to those offered here, are given below. 22 That is, a fellow scholar sharing rooms with him at Oxford University. 23 A town nearby in Oxfordshire. 24 Those who drive sheep to markets (i.e. drovers). 19

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scholler did overtake him that drove the sheepe, and said, Well overtaken25 my friend, from whence hast thou brought these faire hogs? Hogs, quoth the fellow, they be sheepe: Said the scholler, You begin to iest. Nay, sir, said the fellow, I speake in good earnest. Art thou in earnest, said the scholler: thou wilt lay no wager with me to the contrary. Yes by the bone of a pudding,26 I will lay all the money in my purse. How much is that, said the scholler? The fellow said, I have two shillings. Two shillings, said the scholler, that is nothing, wilt thou lay halfe thy hogs and two shillings, and I will lay as much against it? Strike hands, and he that loseth shall pay. Be it, sayd the fellow. Now said the scholler, by whom shall we be tryed?27 The fellow said, We shal be tried in the towne of Tame. Nay, said the scholler, Tame is out of my way, let us bee tried by him that shall next overtake us. Be it, said the fellow: By and by Scogin did overtake them, saying, Well overtaken good fellowes. Welcome master, said the scholler and the fellow. Master, said the fellow, here is a scholler of Oxford hath made a bargaine with me of two shillings and the price of halfe my sheep, that they be hogs that I doe drive before me. Scogin did set up a laughing, saying, Alacke good fellowe, dost thou thinke these be sheepe? Yea sir, said the fellow. Alacke good fellow, thou hast lost thy bargaine, said Scogin, for they bee faire hogs. Then said the scholler, Give me my mony, and divide these hogs, for I must have halfe of them. Alacke, said the fellow, I bought these for sheepe, and not for hogs, I am undone. Nay, said Scogin, I will be indifferent28 betweene you both, let the scholler have the two shillings, and take thou the hogs away with thee. The fellow said, Blessed be the time that ever you were borne: hold scholler, there is two shillings. The fellow was glad he lost not his hogs, which were sheepe. How the scholler said, Tom Miller of Osney,29 was Iacobs father. After this, the said scholler did come to the next orders,30 & brought a present to the ordinary31 from Scogin, but the schollers father paid for all. Then said the ordinary to the scholler, I must needes oppose32 you, and for 25

A traveller’s greeting to one he has overtaken, similar to “well met.” A common exclamatory expression (“bone” being something relished). 27 Judged. 28 Fair, even-handed. 29 An island in the River Thames immediately west of the centre of Oxford (also Oseney). 30 That is, to enter the ministry of the Church, to receive “holy orders.” 31 A senior clerical officer at a college of Oxford University. 32 Examine. 26

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Master Scogins sake, I will oppose you in a light matter. Isaac had two sons, Esau & Iacob,33 who was Iacobs father? The scholler stood still, and could not tell. Well said the ordinary, I cannot admit you to be priest, untill the next orders, and then bring me an answer. The scholler went home with a heavy heart, bearing a letter to Master Scogin, how his scholler could not answer to this question, Isaac had two sonnes, Esau & Iacob, who was Iacob’s father. Scogin said to his scholler, Thou foole and assehead, doest thou not know Tom Miller of Osney? Yes said the scholler. Then said Scogin, Thou knowest he had two sonnes, Tom and Iacke, who is Iacks father? The scholler said Tom Miller. Why said Scogin, thou mightest have said, that Isaac was Iacob’s father: Then said Scogin, Thou shalt arise betime34 in the morning, and carry a letter to the ordinary, and I trust hee will admit thee before the orders shall be given. The scholler rose up betime in the morning, and carried the letter to the ordinary. The ordinary said, For Master Scogins sake I will oppose you no farther than I did yesterday. Isaac had two sonnes, Esau and Iacob, who was Iacob’s father? Marry35 said the scholler, I can tell you now that was Tom Miller of Osney. Goe foole, goe, said the ordinary, and let thy master send thee no more to me for orders; for it is impossible to make a foole a wise man. What talke this wise priest and his father had as they rode home. And as he was riding home with his father, he espied the moon, & said, Father, this is like the moone we have at home. I marvell,36 said he, whereof the moone is made. His father said, I cannot tell. Then said the wise priest, It is made like a cheese, and if it be a cheese, I would I had a gobbot,37 for I am hungry. Father38 he said, How may a man climbe up to it, & cut out a peece? Then said the father, I would I were at home, for all the moones in this countrey. At last they came to Uxbridge,39 and there the young priest had espied a cowturd, lying upon a beame in the top of the house: Then he said to his father, Here is a thing to be marvelled on, whether the cow went up to shite on the beame, or the beame came downe

33

Genesis 25-50. In good time, early. 35 An exclamation, often used in answering a question (as here), similar to “why, to be sure.” It basically invokes the name of Mary, Jesus’s mother. 36 Wonder. 37 A piece or slice (gobbet). 38 It has been suggested that this should read “Further.” 39 A town west of London in the County of Middlesex. 34

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to let the cow shite on it. Then said the father, Belike,40 one of the two it was. How Scogin sold powder to kill fleas. Scogin divers times did lacke money, & could not tell what shift to make, at last he thought to play the physician, and did fill a box full of the powder of a rotten post,41 and on a Sunday he went to a parish church, and told the wives, that hee had a powder to kil up all the fleas in the country and every wife bought a penny worth; & Scogin went his way ere Masse was done, the wives went home, & cast the powder into their beds, & in their chambers, & the fleas continued still. On a time Scogin came to the same church on a Sunday, and when the wives had espied him, the one said to the other, This is he that deceived us with the powder to kill fleas: see, said the one to the other, this is the selfe-same person. When Masse was done, the wives gathered about Scogin, and said: You be an honest man to deceive us with the powder to kill fleas. Why said Scogin, are not your fleas all dead? We have more now (said they) then ever we had: I marvell of that, said Scogin, I am sure you did not use the medicine as you should have done. They said, Wee did cast it in our bed[s], & in our chambers. I, said he, there be a sort of fooles that will buy a thing, & will not aske what they should doe with it. I tell you all, that you should have taken every flea by the neck, & then they would gape,42 and then you should have cast a little of the powder into every fleas mouth and so you should have killed them all. Then said the wives, We have not onely lost our money, but we are mocked for our labour. How Scogin asked of the king43 five hundred okes.44 On a time, Scogin said to the king then being, And if it shall please your Grace to give me five hundred okes to build me a house in the country, I were much bound to your Grace. The king said, Will not an hundred okes serve thee? Yes & and it like your Grace, said Scogin, it would do me good ease. Well sayd the king, as for an hundred okes thou shalt have with 40

Likely. Sawdust. 42 Open their mouths. 43 Scogin was said to have been a jester at the court of Edward IV, who was King of England from 4 March 1461 until 3 October 1470, and again from 11 April 1471 until his death on 9 April 1483. 44 Oaks. 41

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the better.45 I doe thanke your Grace, said Scogin, for if I had asked but an hundred okes at the first, I had had but twenty. Therefore it is good to aske enough46 of great men, for then he shall have somewhat.47 How Scogin told a shoe-maker hee was not at home.48 There was a shoe-maker in Paris, which was a widower, and he was not very wise, of him Scogin bought all his shooes, and on a time Scogin came to the shoo-makers house to speak with him. The shoo-maker was at dinner, and bad his maid say that he was not at home. Scogin by the maids answer perceived that her master was within, but for that time dissembled the matter, and went home: Shortly after the shoo-maker came to Scogins chamber, & asked for him; Scogin hearing the shoo-maker enquire for him, said aloud, I am not at home. Then sayd the shoo-maker, What man thinke you that I know not your voice? Why, said Scogin, what an unhonest man are you: when I came to your house, I beleeved your maid that said, you were not at home, and you will not beleeve me mine owne selfe.

From The Sack-Full of Newes49 Another. There was a fryer in London, which did use to go often to the house of an old woman, but ever when he came to her house, she hid all the meat she had. On a time this fryer came to her house (bringing certain company 45

More, additional. Ample, abundant, more than enough. 47 Sufficient. 48 For a similar tale, see The Pleasant Conceites of Old Hobson, No. 35. 49 The title-page reads: The Sack-Full of Newes. (London, Printed by Andrew Clark, and are to be sold by Thomas Passenger at the Three-Bibles upon London Bridge, 1673.) Below the title is a large woodcut of the upper front part of a bearded man, striking in appearance. It is the earliest known extant edition of this collection, but in all likelihood it was published several times during the second half of the sixteenth century. Although a play of the same title complicates the matter of identification, it was probably registered with the Stationers’ Company in 1557 and published shortly thereafter, then reprinted in 1582 and 1587.There is also a reference to it by Robert Laneham in his Letter from Kenilworth (1575), but little else is known about its history before its republication in 1673 (possibly in abridged form). The present selections are from this edition. 46

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with him) and demanded of the wife if she had any meat. And she said, Nay. Well quoth the fryer, have you not a whetstone?50 Yea (qd.51 the woman) what will you do with it? Marry qd. he, I would make meat thereof. Then she brought a whetstone. He asked her likewise if she had not a frying-pan. Yea, said she, but what the divil will ye do therewith? Marry (said the fryer) you shall see by and by what I will do with it: and when he had the pan, he set it on the fire, and put the whetstone therein. Cocks body,52 said the woman, you will burn the pan. No, no qd. the fryer, if you will give me some eggs, it will not burn at all. But she would have had the pan from him, when that she saw it was in danger; yet he would not let her, but still urged her to fetch him some eggs, which she did. Tush said the fryer, here are not enow,53 go fetch ten or twelve. So the good wife was constrayned54 to fetch more, for feare lest the pan should burn; and when he had them, he put them in the pan. Now, qd. he, if you have no butter, the pan will burn and the eggs too. So the good wife being very loth to have her pan burnt, and her eggs lost, she fetcht him a dish of butter, the which he put into the pan and made good meat thereof, & brought it to the table, saying Much good may it do you my masters, now may you say, you have eaten of a buttered whetstone. Whereat all the company laughed, but the woman was exceeding angry, because the fryer had subtilly beguiled55 her of her meat. Another. There was an old man that could not well see, who had a fair young wife, and with them dwelt a young man, which had long wooed his mistress to have his pleasure of her; who at the last consented to him, but they knew not how to bring it to pass, for she did never go abroad, but in her husbands company, and led56 him always. At last she devised a very fine shift, and bad her servant that he should that night, about midnight come into her chamber, where her husband and she lay, & she would find some device for him. Night came, and the old man and his wife went to bed, but she slept not a wink, but thought still upon her pretended57 purpose, but a 50

A shaped stone used for giving a sharp edge to cutting tools. Said (quod, later quoth). 52 A common exclamation (“cock” being a perversion of the word God). 53 Enough. 54 Forced, compelled. 55 Cheated (her) out of. 56 Submitted to being led (by). 57 Intended. 51

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little before the time prefixed,58 she awakned her husband and said thus unto him, Sir, I will tell you a thing in secret, which your servant was purposed to do; when I am alone. I can never be at quiet for him, but he is always enticeing me to have me at his will, and so at the last to be quiet with him, I consented to meet him in the garden, but for mine honesties59 sake I will not. Wherefore I pray you put on my cloathes and go meet him: so when he comes to you, beat him well, and chide him, for I know well he will not strike you, because you are his master, and then he may amend himself & prove a good servant: and the man was well pleased therewith. So the good man put on his wives cloaths, and took a good cudgel60 in his hand, & went into the garden. At length there came the servant to his mistress, where she lay in bed, and did what he would with her, and she was content; & then she told him how she had sent her husband into the garden in her apparel, & wherefore, and to what purpose. So her servant arose, and (as she bad him) took a good staff with him, and went into the garden, as though he knew not it was his master, & said unto him, Nay you whore, I did this but only to prove61 thee, whether thou wouldest be false to my good master, and not that I would do such a vile thing with thee. Whereupon he fell upon his master, giving him many sore stripes,62 and beating him most cruelly, still calling him nothing but, Out you whore, will you offer this abuse to my good master? Alas, (qd. his master) good John I am thy master, strike me no more, I pray thee. Nay whore (qd. he) I know who thou art well enough and so he struck him again, beating him most grievously. Good John (said his master), feel I have a beard. Then the servant felt (knowing well who it was) who presently kneeled down, and cryed his master mercy.63 Now thanks be to God, (qd. his master) I have as good a servant of thee as a man can have, and I have as good a wife as the world affords. Afterwards the master went to bed, and his servant also. When the old man came to bed to his wife; she demanded64 of him how he sped.65 He answered and said, By my troth wife, I have the trustiest servant in the world, and as faithful a wife; for my servant came thither with a great staff, and did beat me right sore, thinking it had been you; wherefore I was well pleased therewith. But ever after the servant 58

Appointed, arranged. Honour’s. 60 Short thick stick, club. 61 Test. 62 Grievous blows. 63 That is, he begged his pardon or forgiveness. 64 Asked in an urgent manner. 65 Succeeded, fared. 59

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was well beloved of his master, but better of his mistress: for his master had no mistrust of him, though he had made him a cuckold.66 So the poore man was cruelly beaten, and made a summers bird67 nevertheless. Another. There was a man in the country, who had not been any far traveller, and dwelt far from any church, except a church that was seven or eight miles from his house, and there they never sung Mass nor even song,68 but did ever say it. And on a time he came to London, having never been here before, & being in London, he went to Pauls church,69 & went into the chappel, where they sung Mass with organs, and when he heard the melody of the organs and the singing together, that he never heard before, he thought he should have gone to heaven by and by, and looked, and said aloud that every one heard, O Lord, shall I go to heaven presently? I would thou wouldest let me alone till I might go home and fetch my white stick and black hood, and then I would go gladly with thee. Whereat all the people laughed heartily. Another. There was an Essex man70 came to London, who had a pair of shooes full of nails, and as he went along Cheapside71 he passed by a merchants house where many young men were at the door, & among the rest one of them perceived that the man had nails in his shooes, whereupon he said to him, Thou churle,72 why comest thou hither with thy nailed shooes, and breakest the stones of our streets? Indeed I will shew73 my Lord Mayor of it: When the country man heard him he put off his shooes, and carried them in his hand, and went in his hose till he came to Pauls: whereat every body laughed. And when he perceived that the people laughed at him, he put on his shooes again. 66

A derisive name for the husband of an unfaithful wife. The cuckoo, which lays its eggs in another bird’s nest (in reference to cuckold). 68 A Christian service (also called vespers) usually celebrated in song shortly before sunset (evensong). 69 St. Paul’s Cathedral (often simply called Paul’s, as below). For a somewhat similar account, see above, pp. 10-11. 70 That is, from the County of Essex, north-east of London. 71 A major thoroughfare in the City, containing numerous shops and stalls. 72 A base low-bred fellow. 73 Inform. 67

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From Tarltons Iests74 How Tarlton answered the watchmen75 comming from the court. Tarlton having plaied before the queen, till one a clock at midnight, comming homewards, one of them espied him, calling him, Sirra, what art thou? A woman, sayes Tarlton: Nay that is a lie, saith the watchmen, women have no such beards: Tarlton replied, If I should have said a man, that you know to be true, and would have bidden mee tell you that you know not, therefore I sayd a woman, and so I am all woman, having pleased the queene, being a woman: Well sirra sayes another, I present76 the queene: then am I a woman indeed saies Tarlton as well as you, for you have a beard as well as I, and truly Mistris Annis,77 my buske78 is not done yet, when will yours? Leave thy gybing79 fellow, saith the watch; the queens will is that whosoever is taken without doores after ten a clocke, shall bee committed;80 and now it is past one: Commit all such sayes Tarlton, for if it be past one a clocke, it will not be ten this eight houres: With that one lifts up his lanthorne, and looks him in the face, and knew him: Indeed M.81 Tarlton you have more wit then all we, for it is true that ten was before one, but now one is before ten. It is true quoth Tarlton,

74

Richard Tarlton (d. 1588) was a favourite jester at Queen Elizabeth’s court and probably the most popular comedian of his age. He was also a writer of plays (all of which are lost), musician and excellent swordsman. The later jest-books published under his name, such as Tarltons Newes Out of Purgatorie (1590) and Tarlton’s Jests (1611, 1613, 1628 and 1638), while of dubious authenticity, are a testament to his fame. The first part of the Jests was most probably in print not long after Tarlton’s death, while the second part was licensed in 1600 and published presumably shortly thereafter. The present selections are from the second edition, the title-page reading: Tarltons Iests. Drawne into These Three Parts. I His Court-wittie Iests. 2 His Sound Cittie Iests. 3 His Country Prettie Iests. Full of Delight, Wit, and Honest Myrth. (London, Printed for Iohn Budge, and are to be sold at his shop, at the great South doore of Paules, 1613.) Beneath the title is a large woodcut depicting Tarlton with his pipe and tabor (see illustration below from 1628 edition, p. 386). 75 Constables who patrolled the streets by night to safeguard life and property. 76 Represent. 77 A witch-like figure of English and Celtic folklore. 78 Attire, dress. 79 Taunting, scoffing (gibing). 80 Put in prison, jailed. 81 Master (superseded by “Mr.”).

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watchmen had wont82 to have more wit, but for want of sleepe they are turned fooles: So Tarlton stole83 from them, and they to seeme wise went home to bed. Tarltons answer to a courtier. Tarlton being in the court all night, in the morning he met a great courtier comming from his chamber84 who, espying Tarlton, said; Good-morrow, M. Didimus and Tridimus. Tarlton, being somewhat abashed,85 not knowing the meaning thereof, said: Sir, I understand you not; expound, I pray you. Quoth the courtier: Didimus and Tridimus is a foole and a knave. You overloade me, replied Tarlton; for my backe cannot beare both; therefore, take you the one, and I will take the other; take you the knave, and I will carry the foole with me. A sodaine and dangerous fray,86 twixt a gentleman and Tarlton, which he put off with a iest. As Tarlton & others passed along Fleet Street,87 hee espied a spruce yong gallant, blacke88 of complexion, with long haire hanging downe over his eares, and his beard of the Italian cut, in white satten, very quaintly cut, and his body89 so stiffe starcht, that he could not bend himselfe any way for no gold:90 Tarlton, seeing such a wonder comming, trips91 before him, and meeting this gallant tooke the wall92 of him, knowing that one so proud, at least looked for the prerogative.93 The gallant scorning that a player should take the wall, or so much indignifie94 him, turnes himselfe, 82

Used (pun). Withdrew quietly, departed. 84 Private quarters, lodgings. 85 Taken aback, confused. 86 Encounter, quarrel (affray). 87 Originally the main road connecting the commercial city of London and the political hub of Westminster, the Fleet Street vicinity was known at this time for its printing and publishing houses, law courts and offices, and taverns. 88 Dark, swarthy. 89 That is, his general apparel or attire. 90 That is, even for money. 91 Capers, skips lightly. 92 That is, he takes the inner side of the walkway, next to the wall, thus gaining precedence. 93 Superior position. 94 Dishonour, treat (him) with indignity (indignify). 83

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and presently drew his rapier. Tarlton drew likewise: The gentleman fell to it roundly, but Tarlton in his owne defence, compassing and traversing95 his ground, gaped with a wide mouth, whereat the people laughed: The gentleman pausing, enquired why he gaped so? O sir saies he, in hope to swallow you, for by my troth, you seeme to me like a prune in a messe96 of white broth: At this the people parted them, the gentleman noting his mad humour, went his way well contented, for he knew not how to amend97 it. Tarltons iest of a pippin.98 At the Bull in Bishopsgate-street, where the Queenes plaiers oftentimes played:99 Tarlton comming on the stage, one from the gallerie100 threw a pippin at him, Tarlton tooke up the pip, & looking on it made this sodaine iest. Pip in or nose in,101 chuse you whether, Put yours in, ere I put in the other: Pippin you have put in, then for my grace,102 Would I might put your nose in another place. A iest of an apple hitting Tarlton on the face. Tarlton having flouted103 the fellow for his pippin which hee threw, he thought to be meet104 with Tarlton at length, so in the play Tarltons part was to travell, who kneeling downe to aske his father blessing: the fellow threwe an apple at him, which hit him on the cheeke: Tarlton taking up the apple made this iest.

95

Circling and crossing. Dish. 97 Rectify, put (it) right. 98 The seed, kernel or stone of a fruit, a pip. 99 On Bishopsgate Street, just beyond the northern City wall, plays were staged at the Bull Inn by the Queen’s Men and other companies before Shakespeare’s time. 100 The inn-yards were surrounded by balconies (galleries) to the rooms which provided lodging for travellers. A fee was charged to playgoers for entering the inn-yard and an additional one to sit in the balcony. 101 Confront in an impudent or insolent manner. 102 For my pleasure. 103 Mocked. 104 Even. 96

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Gentlemen, this fellow with this face of mapple,105 Instead of a pippin hath throwne me an apple: But as for an apple he hath cast a crab,106 So instead of an honest woman God hath sent him a drab. The people laughed heartily, for he had a queane107 to his wife. How Tarlton and one in the gallerie fell out. It chanced that in the midst of a play, after long expectation for Tarlton, (being much desired of the people) at length he came forth: where at his entrance, one in the gallerie pointed his finger at him, saying to a friend that had never seene him, That is he: Tarlton to make sport at the least occasion given him, and seeing the man point with one finger, he in love againe held up two fingers:108 The captious109 fellow, iealous of his wife (for he was maried) and because a player did it, tooke the matter more hainously, and askt him why hee made hornes at him: No quoth Tarlton, they be fingers: For there is no man which in love to mee Lends me one finger, but he shall have three. No, no, sayes the fellow, you gave me the hornes: True saies Tarlton, for my fingers are tipt with nailes which are like hornes, and I must make a shew of that which you are sure of: This matter grew so, that the more he medled,110 the more it was for his disgrace: wherefore the standers by counselled him to depart, both he and his hornes, lest his cause grew desperate: So the poore fellow plucking his hat over his eyes, went his wayes.

105

Spotted face (maple). The lowest throw in the game of hazard, hence he has failed. Also an allusion to a crab apple, one of a hard, sour variety. 107 Harlot, strumpet (quean). 108 Pointing the index and little finger at a husband was an accusation of his having an unfaithful wife. That is, he was a cuckold, or “horned.” 109 Disposed to find fault or take exception to an action. 110 Engaged in conflict, contended. 106

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How fiddlers fidled away Tarltons apparell. It chanced that one Fancie and Nancie,111 two musitions in London, used often with their boyes112 to visite Tarlton, when he dwelt in Graciousstreet,113 at the signe of the Saba, a tavern, he being one of their best friends or benefactors, by reason of old acquaintance: to requite114 which, they came one summers morning to play him The Hunts Up115 with such musicke as they had: Tarlton, to requite them would open his chamber doore, and for their paines would give them muskadine:116 which a conycatcher117 noting, and seeing Tarlton come forth in his shirt and nightgowne to drinke with these musitions, the while this nimble fellow stept in, and tooke Tarltons apparell which every day he wore, thinking that if he were espied to turne it to a iest, but it passed for currant118 and he goes his waies: Not long after Tarlton returned to his chamber, and looked for his clothes, but they were safe enough from him. The next day this was noysed abroad, and one in mockage threw him this theam, he playing then at the Curtaine.119 Tarlton I will tell thee a iest, Which after turned to earnest: One there was as I heard say, Who in his shirt heard musicke play, While all his clothes were stolne away. Tarlton smiling at this, answered on the sudden thus: That’s certaine, sir, it is no lye, That same one in truth was I: 111

Probably assumed names. The text then refers to “a musition” rather than to “two musitions.” 112 That is, their singing-boys. 113 Gracious Street (or Gracechurch) was one of the main roads in the city of London, running north-south from Cornhill Street near Leadenhall Market to London Bridge. 114 To repay a kindness or service. 115 A popular Elizabethan song by William Byrd (c. 1540-1623). 116 A wine having the flavour or odour of musk. 117 A thief or con man who would try to cheat vulnerable or gullible people (“cony” literally means a rabbit). 118 That is, it was accepted as genuine (current). 119 The Curtain Theatre (1577-1622) was located in Curtain Close, Shoreditch, just beyond the City walls.

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When that the theefe shall pine and lacke, Then shall I have cloathes to my backe: And I together with my fellowes, May see them ride to Tiburne gallowes.120 How Tarlton deceived a doctor of phisicke. Tarlton to satisfie the humors121 of certaine gentlemen, his familiar acquaintance, went about for to try the skill of a simple doctor of phisicke, that dwelt not farre from Islington,122 and thus it was: Hee tooke a faire123 urinall, and filled it halfe full of good wine, and bore it to this doctor, saying, it was a sicke mans water: who viewed it and tossing it up and downe, as though he had great knowledge: quoth he, The patient whose water it is, is full of grosse humors, and hath need of purging, and to be let some ten ounces of bloud. No you dunce replyed Tarlton, it is good pisse, and with that drunke it off; and threw the urinall at his head. One askt Tarlton what countrey man the Divell was. In Carter-lane124 dwelt a mery cobler, who being in company with Tarlton, askt him what countrey man the Divell was: Quoth Tarlton, a Spaniard; for Spaniards like the Divell, trouble the whole world. Tarltons answere to a boy in a rime. There was a crackrope boy,125 meeting Tarlton in London street, sung this rime unto Tarlton. Woe worth126 thee Tarlton, That ever thou wast borne: 120

Tyburn, close to Marble Arch in present-day London, was the principal place for the execution of criminals, convicted traitors and religious martyrs. 121 According to ancient and medieval physiology, the four chief bodily fluids (or “humours”) were blood, phlegm, choler and melancholy (or black choler), the proportions of which determined a person’s mental qualities and disposition. 122 A sprawling Middlesex village on the Great North Road, popular with the rich and eminent. 123 Clean. 124 Near St. Paul’s Cathedral in the City. 125 Young rascal (crack-rope). 126 Betide, happen to.

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Thy wife hath made thee cuckold, And thou must weare the horne. Tarlton presently answered him in extemporie. What and if I be (boy) I am nere the worse: She keepes me like a gentleman, With money in my purse. Tarltons greeting with Bankes his horse.127 There was one Bankes (in the time of Tarlton) who servd the Earle of Essex, & had a horse of strange qualities: and being at the Crosse-keyes in Gracious streete,128 getting money with him (as he was mightily resorted129 to:) Tarlton then (with his fellowes) playing at the Bell by,130 came into the Crosse-keyes amongst many people to see fashions: which Bankes perceiving (to make the people laugh) sayes Signior (to his horse) goe fetch mee the veriest131 foole in the company. The jade132 comes immediately, and with his mouth drawes Tarlton forth: Tarlton with merry words said nothing, but God a mercy133 horse: In the end, Tarlton seeing the people laugh so, was angry inwardly, and said, Sir, had I power of your horse, as you have, I would doe more then that. Where ere it be said Bankes (to please him) I will charge him to do it: Then saies Tarlton, Charge him to bring me the veriest whore-master in this company. He shall saies Bankes: Signior saies he, bring M. Tarlton heere the veriest whoremaster in the company: the horse leades his master to him: Then God a mercy horse indeed, sayes Tarlton: The people had much adoe to keepe peace, but Bancks & Tarlton had like to have squarde, and the horse by to give ayme:134 But ever after it was a byword through London, God a mercy horse, and is to this day. 127

Marocco, the performing horse, and his master were well known to Londoners at this time. 128 The Cross Keys Inn, in Gracechurch Street, was used as one of the venues for early Elizabethan theatre. 129 Accustomed. 130 That is, the Bell Inn nearby (also on Gracechurch Street). 131 Greatest (emphatic). 132 A contemptuous name for a horse, more specifically a hack. 133 “God have mercy,” a proverbial expression which by this time was largely used for its exclamatory and perhaps (as here) humorous effect. 134 That is, the two men were ready to come to blows and the horse to join in.

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An excellent iest of Tarlton suddenly spoken. At the Bull at Bishops-gate, was a play of Henry the Fift,135 wherein the iudge was to take a boxe on the eare, and because he was absent that should take the blow: Tarlton himself (ever forward to please) tooke upon him to play the same iudge, besides his owne part of the clowne: and Knell136 then playing Henry the Fift, hit Tarlton a sound boxe indeed, which made the people laugh the more, because it was he: But anone the iudge goes in, & immediately Tarlton (in his clownes cloathes) comes out, and askes the actors what newes? O saith one, hadst thou beene here, thou shouldst have seene Prince Henry hit the iudge a terribly boxe on the eare: What man, said Tarlton, strike a iudge? It is true yfaith, said the other: No other like, said Tarlton, and it could not be but terrible to the iudge, when the report so terrifies me, that me thinkes the blow remaines still on my cheeke, that it burnes againe. The people laught at this mightily, and to this day I have heard it commended for rare:137 but no marvaile, for he had many of these. But I would see our clownes in these dayes do the like, no I warrant ye,138 and yet they thinke well of themselves too. How Tarlton tooke tobacco at the first comming up of it.139 Tarlton (as other gentlemen used) at the first comming up of tobacco, did take it more for fashions sake then otherwise, and being in a roome, set betweene two men overcome with wine, and they never seeing the like, wondred at it, and seeing the vapour140 come out of Tarltons nose, cried out, Fire, fire, and threw a cup of wine in Tarltons face: Make no more stirre quoth Tarlton, the fire is quenched; if the sheriffes come it will turne to a fine, as the custome is. And drinking that againe, Fie sayes the other, what a stincke it makes, I am almost poisoned: If it offend, sayes Tarlton, lets every one take a little of the smell, and so the savour will quickly goe: but tobacco whiffes141 made them leave him to pay all. 135

An anonymous Elizabethan play, generally thought to be the source for Shakespeares’s Henriad tetralogy. It was entered in the Stationers’ Register in 1594, but the earliest known edition is from 1598. 136 William Knell, a celebrated comedian with the Queen’s Men, who was killed in a brawl with fellow actor John Towne in 1587. 137 For being remarkably good, exceptional. 138 A colloquial expression of strong belief, similar to “I’ll be bound.” 139 That is, at its first appearance. 140 Smoke. 141 Puffs of smoke with their unpleasant odour.

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Tarltons iest of a country wench. Tarlton going towards Hogsdon,142 met a country maid comming to market; her mare stumbling down she fell over and over, shewing all that ever God sent her, and then rising up againe, she turned her round about unto Master Tarlton, and said, Gods body sir, did you ever see the like before? No in good sooth, quoth Tarlton, never but once in London. How Tarlton deceived an inne-holder at Sandwich.143 Upon a time when the plaiers were put to silence,144 Tarlton and his boy frolickt145 so long in the country, that all their money was gone; and being a great way from London, they knew not what to doe; but as want is the whetstone146 of wit, Tarlton gathered his conceit[s]147 together, and practised a tricke to beare him up to London without money, & thus it was: Unto an inne in Sandwich they went, and there lay for two daies at great charge, although he had no money to pay for the same: the third morning he bad his man go downe and male-content148 himselfe before his hoast and his hoastesse, & mumbling say to himselfe, Lord, Lord, what a scalde149 master doe I serve, this it is to serve such seminary priests and Jesuits,150 now even as I am an honest boy, Ile leave him in the lurch, and shift for my selfe: here’s a doe about penance and mortification, as though (forsooth) Christ had not died enough for all: The boy mumbled out these his instructions so dissembling, that it strooke a iealousie151 in the inneholders heart, that out of doubt his master was a seminary priest; whereupon he presently sent for the constable, and told him all the foresaid matter, and so went up both together to attack Tarlton in his chamber, who purposely had shut himselfe close in, and betaken him to his knees, and to his crosses, to make the matter seeme more suspitious, 142

Perhaps Hodson, Wiltshire or Hoggeston, Buckinghamshire. One of the Cinque Ports within the County of Kent, south-east England. 144 All London and Southwark theatres were closed in 1593 and 1603 due to the Bubonic Plague (or Black Death). 145 Made merry. 146 Inspiration. 147 Fanciful notions, whims. 148 That is, show his discontent (malcontent). 149 “Scurvy,” contemptible. 150 Roman Catholic priests, including the order of Jesuits, trained to propagate their doctrine in England. 151 Zealous anger or indignation (jealousy). 143

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which they espying through the key hole, made no more adoe, but in they rushed, and arrested him for a seminary priest, discharged his score,152 bore his, and his boyes charges up to London, and there in hope to have rich rewards, presented him to M. Fleetwood, the old recorder of London:153 But now marke the iest; when the recorder saw Tarlton, and knew him passing well, entertained him very courteously, and all to be foold the inne-holder and his mate, and sent them away with fleas in their eares:154 But when Tarlton saw himselfe discharged out of their hands, hee stood iesting and pointing at their folly, and so taught them by cunning, more wit and thrift against another time.

From Merrie Conceited155 Iests, of George Peele156 The iest of George Peele at Bristow.157 George was at Bristow, and there staying some what longer than his coine would last him, his palfrey158 that should be his carrier to London, his head was growne so big, that he could not get him out of the stable.159 It so 152

Bill, reckoning. William Fleetwood (1535?-1594) was a lawyer of the Middle Temple, Recorder of London in 1569, and Queen’s Sergeant in 1592. To be recorder, among other responsibilities, was to be both chief lawyer and chief judge for the metropolis. 154 That is, after being rebuked they were ignominiously sent away (a common saying). 155 Clever, witty, amusing. 156 George Peele (c. 1556-1596) graduated from Christ Church, Oxford University, with a Master of Arts degree in 1579, settling in London shortly thereafter and earning a meagre living writing plays, poems and pageants. Although some of the incidents in Merrie Conceited Iests are conceivably taken from his life, his notorious name was probably given to the collection with a view to ensuring its popularity. The first known edition appeared in 1607, with reprints in 1627, 1657 and 1671—and an undated edition, around 1630, published by Henry Bell. Selections here are from the Bell publication, the title-page reading: Merrie Conceited Iests, of George Peele Gentleman, Sometimes Stvdent in Oxford. Wherein Is Shewed the Course of His Life, How He Liued: A Man Very Well Knowne in the City of London, and Elsewhere. Buy, Reade, and Iudge, / The Price Doe Not Grudge: / It Will Doe Thee More Pleasure, / Than Twice So Much Treasure. (London, Printed for Henry Bell, dwelling in the Little Old Baily in Eliots Court.) 157 Bristol was an important port in south-west England, developing its trade with Spain and the Americas in the late sixteenth and early seventeenth centuries. For a similar jest, see Mery Tales and Quick Answeres, No. 133. 158 Horse. 159 That is, the bill for the horse’s keep was larger than Peele could pay. 153

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fortuned at that instant, certaine players came to the towne, and lay at that inne where George Peele was: to whom George was well knowne, being in that time an excellent poet, and had acquaintance of most of the best plaiers in England: From the triviall sort he was but so so; of which these were, [so they] onely knew George by name, no otherwise. There was not past three of the company come with the carriage; the rest was behind, by reason of a long journey they had, so that night they coud not enact, which George hearing, had presently a stratageme in his head to get his horse free out of the stable, and money in his purse to beare his charges up to London. And thus it was: he goes directly to the mayor, tels him he was a scholler and a gentleman, and that he had a certaine History of the Knight of the Rhodes;160 and withall, how Bristow was first founded and by whom, and a briefe of all those that before him had succeeded in office in that worshipful city: desiring the mayor, that he with his presence, and the rest of his brethren, would grace his labours. The mayor agreed to it, gave him leave, and withall appointed him a place, but for himselfe he could not be there, being in the evening:161 but bade him make the best benefit he could of the citie, and very liberally gave him an angel,162 which George thankfully receives, and about his businesse he goes, got his stage made, his History cried,163 and hired the players apparell,164 to florish out his shew, promising to pay them liberally; and withall desired them they would favour him so much, as to gather him his money at the doore, (for he thought it his best course to imploy them, lest they should spie out his knavery, for they have perillous165 heads). They willingly yeeld to do him any kindnesse that lies in them; in briefe, [they] carry their apparell to the hall, place themselves at the doore, where George in the meane time with the ten shillings he had of the mayor, delivered his horse out of purgatory, and carries him to the townes end, and there placeth him, to be ready at his comming. By this time the audience were come, and so forty shillings gathered, which money George put in his purse, and putting on one of the players silke robes, after the trumpet had sounded thrice, out he comes, makes low obeysance, goes forward with his prologue, which was thus:

160

Probably Peele’s lost play, The Turkish Mahamet and Hyrin the Fair Greek (1594?). 161 That is, being busy elsewhere that evening. 162 An old English coin, having as its device the archangel Michael standing upon and piercing a dragon, at that time worth 10s. 163 Announced publicly, advertised. 164 That is, prepared himself in different ways for the performance. 165 Parlous, capable of doing serious harm (perilous).

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A trifling toy, a iest of no account, pardie.166 The knight, perhaps you think for to be I: Thinke on so still; for why you know that thought is free, Sit still a while, Ile send the actors to yee. Which being said, after some fire workes that he had made of purpose, threw out among them, and downe staires goes he, gets to his horse, and so with fortie shillings to London; leaves the players to answer it; who when the jest was knowne, their innocence excused them, being as well gulled167 at the maior and the audience. How George gulled a punke,168 otherwise called a croshabell. Comming to London, hee fell in company with a cockatrice;169 which pleased his eye so well, that George fell aboording170 of her, and proffered her the wine: which my croshabell willingly accepted: to the taverne they go, where after a little idle talke, George fell to the question about the thing you wot171 of. My she-hobby172 was very dainty,173 which made George farre more eager; and my lecherous animall proffered largely to obtaine his purpose. To conclude, nothing she would grant unto except ready coine, which was forty shillings, not a farthing lesse: if so he would, next night she would appoint him where he should meet her. George saw how the game went, that she was more for lucre than for love, [and] thus cunningly answered her: Gentlewoman, howsoever you speake, I do not thinke your heart agrees with your tongue; the money you demand is but to trie me, and indeed but a trifle to mee: but because it shall not be said I bought that iemme174 of you I prize so highlie, Ile give you a token to morrow, that shall be more worth than your demand, if so you please to accept it. Sir, quoth she, it contenteth me well: and so, if please you, at this time weele part, and to morrow in the evening [Ile] meet you where you shall appoint. The place was determined, and they kist and parted, she home, George into Saint

166

Certainly, indeed (an asseveration). Duped, deceived. 168 Prostitute, whore (or croshabell, a newly introduced term). 169 Another contemporary term for prostitute, perhaps with a greater sense of reproach. 170 Accosted, made advances. 171 Know. 172 Another name for prostitute. 173 Pleasing or delightful. 174 Gem. 167

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Thomas Apostles,175 to a friend of his, of whom he knew he could take up a peticoat of trust: (the first letter of his name begins with G). A peticoat he had of him, at the price of five shillings; which money is owing till this day. The next night being come, they met at the place appointed, which was a taverne: there they were to suppe: that ended, George was to goe home with her, to end his yeomans plee in her common case.176 But Master Peele had another drift in his mazzard:177 for he did so ply her with wine, that in a small time she spun such a threed,178 that she reeled homewards, and George he was faine to be her supporter: When to her house she came, with nothing so much painting in the inside, as her face had on the outside; with much ado her maide had her to bed, who was no sooner layd, but she fell fast asleepe; which when George perceived, he sent the maide for milke, and a quart of sacke179 to make a posset;180 where before her returne, George made so bold as to take up his owne new petticoat, a faire gowne of hers, two gold rings that lay in the window, and away he went: The gowne and the gold rings he made a chaffer of;181 the petticoat he gave to his honest wife, one of the best deeds he ever did to her. How the croshabell lookt when she awaked and saw this, I was never there to know. How he served a tapster.182 George was making merry with three or foure of his friends in Pyecorner,183 where the tapster of the house was much given to poetry: for he had ingrossed184 the Knight of the Sunne, Venus and Adonis,185 and other pamphlets which the strippling had collected together, and knowing 175

A parish (and street) within Cordwainer Street Ward in the City, the ward bounded on the north by Poultry and Cheapside. 176 That is, to have sexual relations. 177 Scheme or design in his head. 178 A common saying, in this case referring to the great quantity of wine that she had drunk. 179 Sweet wine, traditionally imported from Spain and the Canaries (sack). 180 A drink composed of hot milk curdled with wine, etc., used both as a delicacy and remedy. 181 Sold or traded. 182 A man who draws beer, etc. for customers in a public house. For a somewhat similar story, see Conceits, Clinches, Flashes, and Whimsies, No. 191. 183 At the corner of Giltspur Street and Cock Lane in Smithfield, Pye Corner was considered one of London’s most disreputable locations. 184 Listed, given the names of (engrossed). 185 Respectively, The Mirror of Princely Deeds and Knighthood (1585-1601) and Shakespeare’s poem of this title.

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George to be a poet, he tooke great delight in his company, and out of his bounty would bestow a brace of cannes186 of him. George, observing the humour of the tapster, meant presently to worke upon him. What will you say, quoth George to his friends, if out of this spirit of the cellar I fetch a good angell that shall bid us all to supper. We would gladly see that, quoth his friends. Content your selfe quoth George. The tapster ascends with his two cannes, delivers one to M. Peele, and the other to his friends, gives them kinde welcome: but George in stead of giving him thanks, bids him not to trouble him, and begins in these termes. I protest, gentlemen, I wonder you will urge me so much, I sweare I have it not about me. What is the matter, quoth the tapster, hath any one angered you? No, faith,187 quoth George, Ile tell thee, it is this: There is a friend of ours in Newgate,188 for nothing but onely the command of the justices, and he being now to be released, sends to me to bring him an angell: Now the man I love dearely well, and if he want ten angels, he shall have them, for I know him sure: but heres the misery, either I must goe home, or I must be forced to pawne this, and plucks an old Harry groat189 out of his pocket. The tapster lookes upon it: Why, and it please you sir, quoth he, this is but a groat. No sir quoth George, I know it is but a groat: but this groat will I not lose for forty pounds: for this groat had I of my mother, as a testimony of a lease of a house I am to possesse after her decease: and if I should lose this groat, I were in a faire case:190 and either I must pawne this groat, or there the fellow must lie still. Quoth the tapster, If it please you, I will lend you an angell on it, and I will assure you it shall be safe. Wilt thou, quoth George? As thou art an honest man, locke it up in thy chest, and let me have it whensoever I call for it. As I am an honest man, you shall, quoth the tapster. George delivered him his groat: the tapster gave him ten shillings: to the taverne goe they with the mony, and there merrily spend it. It fell out in a small time after, the tapster having many of these lurches,191 fell to decay, and indeed was turned out of service, having no more coine in the world than this groat; and in this misery he met George as poore as himselfe. O sir, quoth the tapster, you are happily met; I have your groat safe, though since I saw you last, I have bid192 great extremity; 186

(The contents of) a pair of drinking vessels (cans). In (good) faith, used interjectionally. 188 Newgate prison, at the corner of Newgate Street and Old Bailey just inside the City. 189 An English coin from the time of Henry VIII, worth very little. 190 That is, a bad situation. 191 Cheats, swindles. 192 Endured, suffered (bide). 187

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and I protest, save that groat, I have not one penny in the world; therefore I pray you sir, helpe me to my mony, and take your pawne. Not for the world, quoth George; thou saist thou hast but that groat in the world, my bargaine was, that thou shouldst keepe that groat, untill I demand it of thee: I aske thee none. I will do thee more good, because thou art an honest fellow; keepe thou that groat still, till I call for it: and so doing, the proudest Jacke193 in England cannot iustifie194 thou art not worth a groat,195 otherwise they might: and so, honest Michael, farewell. So George leaves the poor tapster picking of his fingers, his head full of proclamations196 what he might doe: at last sighing he ends with this proverbe: For the price of a barrel of beere, I have bought a groats-worth of wit, Is not that deare?

From Pasqvils Iestes, Mixed with Mother Bunches Merriments197 How a merchant lost his purse betweene Waltam and London.198 193

Fellow (Jack being a common man’s name). Support by evidence. 195 That is, worth nothing (a common saying). 196 Declarations. 197 The first edition of fifty-two tales and a “doozen of guiles” (gulles) was probably that of 1604, followed by some half dozen republications between then and the early years of the Restoration, mostly omitting the gulles. Although sometimes ascribed to Nicholas Breton (1545-1626), the collection is generally considered to be anonymous. The present selections are from the 1609 edition, the title-page reading: Pasqvils Iestes, Mixed with Mother Bunches Merriments. Whereunto Is Added a Bakers Doozen of Guiles. Very Prettie and Pleasant, to Driue Away the Tediousnesse of a Winters Evening. Newly Corrected with New Additions. (London. Printed for Iohn Browne, and are to be sold at his Shop in Saint Dunstones Church-yard, in Fleetestreete, 1609.) Below the title is a small woodcut depicting a human head elaborately dressed and, on each side, two cherubs playing musical instruments. As various traditional jests and bawdy anecdotes became associated with Mother Bunch, who sold strong ale in a London tavern near the Exchange and kept a brothel there, one can imagine the compiler of Pasqvils Iestes and others introducing her on the title-page in order to promote sales. 198 For a similar tale, see No. 15 of Mery Tales and Quicke Answeres and The Pleasant Conceites of Old Hobson, No. 20. 194

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A marchant that travelled betweene Ware199 and London, lost his budget, wherein was a hundred pound, who caused to proclaime in all villages and market townes, that who so had found the same, and would restore it againe, should have twenty pounds for his paines. An honest husbandman200 that chanced to find it, brought it to the baylife201 of Ware, and required his twenty pounds for his paines, when he delivered it. When the covetous marchant understood this, and that he must needes pay twenty pound for the finding of it, hee said, there was an hundred and twenty pound in the budget, and so would have had his owne money, and twenty pound over. So long they strove, that the matter was brought before a justice. When the justice understood by the baylife, that the crie202 was made for a budget with an hundred pound in it, he demaunded where it was? Heere (quoth the baylife) and gave it him. Is it iust an hundred pound (quoth the justice?) Yes (quoth the baylife.) Hold (quoth the justice) to him that found the budget, take thou this money to thy use, and if thou happen to finde a budget with a hundred and twenty pound, bring it to this honest marchant man. It is mine, I lost no more but a hundreth pound (quoth ye marchant). You speake now too late (quoth the justice) for your covetousnesse hath beguiled203 your selfe. How one at Kingstone204 fained himselfe dead, to trie what his wife would doe. In Kingstone dwelt one Rawlins, newly married, which to proove what his wife would doe, fained himselfe dead, while she was in the back-side, washing of her clothes, and laid himselfe all along the flowre. Wherupon his wife comming sodainely in, thought that he had been dead indeed: but having laboured hard all the day, and being sore an hungred, she stood musing with herselfe, whether it were best to lament his death, or to dine first: which motion205 of eating liked her best: wherupon she cut two or three collops206 of salt bacon, and broyled them on the coales, and eate them up: and being very hungry she forgot to drinke, but the saltnes of the 199

A town in the County of Hertfordshire, north of London. Farmer. 201 Chief administrator (bailiff). 202 Clamour, uproar. 203 Deceived, deluded. 204 Kingston on Thames, ten miles south-west of central London, is an ancient market town and royal borough. 205 Desire, inclination. 206 Slices. 200

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meat at last made her throat so harsh, that she tooke a pot and went to draw some drinke: but one of her neighbors comming suddenly in, made her set downe her pot, and as if her husband had but new falne downe, shee began to lament so heavily, & with such a noise, that al the neighbors came running in, where they found her most pittifully bewailing the sudden death of her husband. Whereupon they beganne to comfort her, and told her, she must be content, for there was now no remedy. Alas said she, oh my sweet husband. What shall I doe? At which words, her husband lift up his head, and saide, Full ill, my sweet wife, except you goe quickly and drinke: for the salt bacon I am sure hath almost choked you. How mad Coomes, when his wife was drowned: sought her against the streame.207 Coomes of Strapforth,208 hearing that his wife was drowned comming from market, went with certaine of his friends to see if they could find her in the river: Hee contrary to all the rest, sought his wife against the streame: which they perceiving, said, he lookt the wrong way. And why so (quoth he?) Because (quoth they) you should looke downe the streame, and not against it. Nay zounds (quoth hee) I shall never find her that way: for shee did all things so contrary in her life time, that now she is dead, I am sure shee will goe against the streame. Of the rich widdow of Abington.209 This widdow desired a gossip210 of hers, that shee would helpe her to a husband, not for any carnal desire shee had, but onely to keepe her goods, and see to her lands, which is hard (saith she) for me to doe my selfe. The woman for all her talke, yet knew she spake against her mind: and therefore three or foure daies after, she came to her, and said, Gossip, I have found an husband for you, that is very wise and worldly given: but he lacks the thing you wot211 of, whereof I am sure you care not at all. Marry, quoth the widdow, let the devill take that husband, if he will: for though I desire not the bodily pleasure, yet I would not have him lacke that thing, which if wee should fall out, should make us friends againe.

207

For a similar tale, see Mery Tales and Quicke Answeres, No. 55. Perhaps Stratford in Warwickshire or Essex. 209 Probably Abington, Cambridgeshire. 210 A close female friend. 211 Know, are aware (of). 208

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The subtilty of a lawyer repaied with the like subtilty.212 There was an unthrift213 in London, that had received of a marchant certaine wares, which came to fifty pounds, to pay at three months, and at three monthes: but when hee had it, he consumed and spent it all: so that at the sixe months end, there was not any left to pay the marchant: wherefore the marchant arrested him. When hee saw there was no other remedy, but either to pay the debt, or goe to prison, he sent to a subtill lawyer, and asked his counsell how he might cleare himselfe of that debt. What wilt thou give me (quoth he) if I doe? Five markes214 (quoth the other) and heere it is, and as soone as you have done, you shall have it. Well, said the lawyer, but thou must be ruled by my counsell, and doe thus: When thou commest before the, iudge, whatsoever he saieth unto thee, answere thou nothing, but crie, bea, still, and let me alone with the rest. So when hee came before the iudge, hee said to the debter, Doest thou owe this marchant so much money? Bea (quoth he.) What, beast, (quoth he?) answere to that I aske thee. Bea (quoth hee) againe. Why how now, quoth the iudge: I thinke this fellow hath gotten a sheepes tongue in his head: for hee answeres in the sheepes language. Why sir, quoth the lawyer, doe you think this marchant that is so wise a man, would be so foolish as to trust this ideot with fifty pounds worth of ware, that can speake never a word? No sir I warrant you. And so perswaded the iudge to cast the merchant in his owne suite.215 And so the iudge departed, and the court brake up. Then the lawyer came to his clyent, and asked him his money, since his promise was performed, and his debt discharged. Bea (quoth he.) Why, thou needst not cry bea any longer, but pay me my money. Bea (quoth he againe.) Why, thou wilt not serve me so, I hope (quoth the lawyer) now I have used thee so kindly. But nothing, but bea, could master lawyer get for his paines, and so was faine216 to depart. A tale of a gentleman and his man. A gentleman upon a time having a man217 that could write and read well, rebuked him one day for idlenes, saying If I had nothing to doe, I would for the better comfort of my wit, set downe all the fooles I know. The 212

For a similar tale, see Mery Tales and Quicke Answeres, No. 45. Spendthrift, prodigal. 214 A money of account, one mark being worth 160 pence. 215 That is, he was able to defeat the merchant in his claim before the court (suit). 216 Obliged. 217 Attendant, servant. 213

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fellow making little answere, tooke his pen and inke, and as his master had wished him, fell a setting downe a catalogue of all the fooles, that he was well acquainted with: among whom, and first of al, he set downe his master, who reading his name, would needes know the nature of his folly. Marry (quoth hee) in lending your couzin twenty pound this other day: for I thinke he will never pay you. Yea, but (quoth his master) what if he doe pay me? Then (quoth his man) I will put out your name, and put downe his for a foole.

From The Pleasant Conceites218 of Old Hobson the Merry Londoner219 Master Hobsons discription.220 In the beginning of Queene Elizabeths most happy raigne, our late deceased souveraigne, under whose peacefull government, long florished this our country of England: there lived in the citty of London a merry cittizen named old Hobson, a haberdasher of smale wares, dwelling at the lower end of Cheapside, in the Poultry:221 as well knowne thorough this part of England, as a sargeant knows the counter-gate.222 He was a homely plaine man, most commonly wearing a buttond cap close to his eares, a short gowne girt hard223 about his midle and a paire of slippers upon his 218

Fanciful, ingenious or witty turns of thought or anecdotes. This tract was first published in 1607, then twice again before the Restoration, in 1640 (with variations and additions) and probably 1649. It is generally attributed to Richard Johnson (1573-c. 1659), who signed the Dedication and was known at the time as a writer of prose fiction and a compiler of jest-books and ballad collections. Although purporting to relate true anecdotes concerning a bluff and humorous haberdasher, William Hobson, who lived in London during the reigns of Edward VI, Mary and Elizabeth, many of the stories are borrowed from earlier jest-books and elsewhere. The title-page reads: The Pleasant Conceites of Old Hobson the Merry Londoner, Full of Humorous Discourses, and Witty Meriments. Whereat the Quickest Wittes May Laugh, and the Wiser Sort Take Pleasure. (Printed at London for Iohn Wright, and are to bee sold at his shoppe neere Christ-Church gate. 1607.) Below the title is a small woodcut with a crown resting on a fleur-de-lis. 220 The first nine jests are numbered consecutively, with the exception of seven. 221 Poultry, a short street in the City, is the eastern continuation of Cheapside, a major thoroughfare containing numerous shops and stalls. 222 That is, Hobson is as well known in London and vicinity as are the gates of a prison for debtors, etc. to a law officer. 223 Secured or tied tightly. 219

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feete of an ancient fashion, as for his wealth, it was answerable224 to the better sort of our cittizens, but of so mery a disposition, that his equal therein is hardly to be found: Hereat let the pleasant disposed people laugh and the more graver in carriage225 take no exceptions,226 for here are merriments without hurt, and humorous iests savoring upon wisdome: read willingly, but scoffe not spitefully, for old Hobson spent his dayes merrily. How Maister Hobson hung out a lanterne and candle light. In the beginning of Queene Elizabeaths raigne, when the order of hanging out lanterne and candlelight first of all was brought up: the bedell of the warde227 where Maister Hobson dwelt, in a darke evening crieng up and downe, Hang out your lantornes, hang out your lantornes: using no other words: whereupon Maister Hobson tooke an empty lantorne, and, according to the beadles call hung it out. This flout by the Lord Maior was taken in ill part, and for the same offence [Hobson] was sent to the Counter:228 but being released, the next night following, the beadle thinking to amend his call: cried with a loud voice Hang out your lantorne and candle. Maister Hobson here-upon hung out a lantorne and candle unlighted, as the beadle againe commanded, where upon he was sent againe to the Counter: but the next night the beadle being better advised, cryed, Hang out your lantorne and candlelight, hang out your lantorne and candlelight, which Maister Hobson at last did to his great commendations which cry of lanthorne and candlelight is in right manner used to this day.229 How Maister Hobson bayted the Divell with a dog. Not farre from Maister Hobsons house, there dwelled one of the cunning men, other wise called fortune tellers, such cossoning230 companions, as at 224

Corresponding in amount, commensurate. Demeanour, deportment. 226 Dislike, offence. 227 Wards, or aldermanry, were self-governing units within the City, each represented by an alderman, who was assisted by one or more beadles (minor officials) and other functionaries. 228 The Poultry Counter (or Poultry Compter), a small prison near Cheapside, controlled by a sheriff and used to house debtors, vagrants, etc. 229 It might be noted that Lanthorne and Candle-light is the title of a pamphlet published by Thomas Dekker in 1609. 230 Cheating, defrauding (cozening). 225

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this day, (by their crafts) make simple women beleeve, how they can tell what husbands they shall have, how many children, how many sweet harts, and such like: if goods bee stole, who hath them, with promise to helpe them to their losses againe: with many other like deceiptfull elusions.231 To this wise man (as some termes him) goes Maister Hobson, not to reap any benefit by his crafty cunning, but to make a iest and tryall of his experience. So causing one of his servants to lead a masty dog232 after him, staying at the cuning mans doore with the dog in his hand up goes Maister Hobson to ye wise man, requesting his skil, for he had lost ten pound lately taken from him by theeves, but when and how he knew not well. The cunning man knowing Maister Hobson to be one of his neighbors, and a man of a good reputation, fell (as he made showe) to coniuring and casting of figures, and after a few words of incantation, as his common use was, he tooke a very large faire looking glasse, and bad Maister Hobson to looke in the same, but not to cast his eyes backward in any case; the which hee did, and therein saw the picture of a huge and large oxe with two broad hornes on his head, the which was no other wise, but as hee had often deceitfully shewd to others, a cossoning fellow like the cunning man himselfe, clothed in an oxe hide, which fellow he maintained as his servant to blinde the peoples eyes withall, and to make them beleeve hee could shew them the Divill at his pleasure in a glasse: This vision Maister Hobson perceving, & gessing at the knavery thereof, gave a whistle for his dog which then stayed below at the doore in his mans keeping, which whistle being no sooner hard but the dog ran up stayers to his maister as he had beene mad and presently fastned upon the poore fellow in the oxe hide, and so tore him as it was pittifull to see: The cunning man cried For the passion of God take off your dog. No (quoth Maister Hobson) let the Divill and the dogge fight; venture thou thy devill, and I will venture my dog. To conclude the oxe hide was torne from the fellows backe and so their knaveryes were discovered, and their cunning shifts layd open to the world. Of an epitaph that Maister Hobson made for a dead man. There was a very rich cittyzen (dwelling not far from London Bridge) whom in his life time was never knowne to doe any deed worthy of memorie: who dying, left Maister Hobson his onely executor to dispose of his goods as also to lay upon his grave a faire marble stone, and as upon 231 232

Deceptive actions (illusions). Mastiff.

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marble stones there bee commonly ingraven certaine verses in the maner of an epitaph of the mans conversation233 there under buried, so Maister Hobson considered, what epitaph he would set upon his friends grave, [and] knowing the few good deeds he did in his life time, caused these two verses following to be ingraven upon the marble stone. Epitaph. He was begotten, borne, and cryed, He lived long time, fell sicke, and died. Of Maister Hobsons iest of a louse and a flea.234 Upon a time Maister Hobson going to my Lord Maiors to dinner amongst the livery of his company,235 and being waited on by one of his prentices:236 the said prentise spied a louse creeping upon the side of his gowne and tooke it off: Maister Hobson espying him to doe some thing in secret, asked him what it was? The fellow being ashamed, was loath to tell him, but, being importuned by his maister said it was a louse: Oh (qd. Maister Hobson) this is good lucke: for it sheweth me to be a man, for this kind of vermine chiefly breedeth on mankind, and there-upon gave five shillings to his man for his labour: Another of his prentises being a pickthanke-knave,237 and having hard that his fellow had five shillings given him for taking a louse from of[f] his maister (having his gowne likewise on) and made as though he tooke a flea from the same, & convayed it privily away, but when Maister Hobson constrayned him to tell what it was, with much dissembling shamefastnes he said it was a flea: Maister Hobson perceving his disimulation said to him, What, dost thou make mee a dogge? for fleas be most commonly bread upon dogs: And so [for] the five shillinges he lookd for he had given fiveteene stripes:238 for quoth Maister Hobson, there is great difference betweene one that doth a thing with a good mind, and him that doth a thing by disimulation.

233

Mode or course of life, conduct in the world. For a similar tale, see Mery Tales and Quicke Answeres, No. 24. 235 That is, the uniform (“livery”) of his company (or guild) of haberdashers. 236 Apprentices. 237 A flattering, sycophantic knave. 238 Strokes (with a whip, sword, etc.). 234

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How Maister Hobson was a iudge betwixt two women.239 There dwelled not farre from Maister Hobson, two very ancient women the youngest of them both, was above three-score yeares of age, and uppon a time sitting at the taverne together, they grew at varience which of them should be the youngest, (as women indeede desier to bee accoumpted younger then they be); in such manner that they layd a good supper, of the valew of twenty shillings, for the truth thereof, and Maister Hobson they agreed upon to bee their iudge of the difference.So after Maister Hobson had knowledge thereof, the one came to him, and as a present gave him a very faire pidgion pye, worth some five shillings desiering him to pass the vardet240 of her side: Within a while after the other came, and gave Maister Hobson a very faire grayhound, which kind of dogges he much delighted in: praying him likewise to be favorable on her side, wherefore hee gave iudgment that the woman that gave him the grayhound was the yonger, and so she woun the supper of twenty shillings which she [that had given him the pidgion-pye] perceiving, came to him and sayd, Sir, I gave you a pidgion pie, and you promised the verdit should goe on my side. To whome Maister Hobson said, Of a truth good woman, there came a grayhound into my house, and eate up the pidgion pye, and so by that meanes I quite forgot241 thee. Of the pride of Maister Hobsons wife. Maister Hobsons wife carrying something242 a stately mind, and delighting in brave243 apprell, upon a time walking abroad with other women her neighbours, they espied a payre of silke stockins upon her legges and desiring the like, never let their husbands to live in quiet after, til they had silke stockins of the same fashion: So within a weeke or two following, their husbandes came complayning to Maister Hobson and said, Sir, (quoth one of them) the sufferance244 of your wives pride, hath spoyled all ours, for since she hath worne silke stockings, our wives have growne so importunate, that they must needs have the like, and you are the cheifest cause in suffering her to weare the same: Oh my good neighbours, (qd. M. 239

For similar stories, see No. 22 of Mery Tales and Quicke Answeres and “The Foole of Lancaster” in Jack Dover. 240 Verdict (vardite). 241 Overlooked, omitted to think of. 242 Somewhat of. 243 Fine, handsome. 244 Patient endurance, tolerance.

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Hobsǀ) I have great cause in doing so and it bringes me much quietnes.245 As how (qd. one of them). Mary thus (neighboures) for seeing I cannot please her above the knee, I most needs please her belowe the knee, and the only thing to please a woman is to let her have her will. How Maister Hobson answered a Popish fryer. In the rainge of Queene Mary,246 when this land was blinded with superstition, there was a Popish frier that made an oration in the Charterhouse yard,247 where many formes248 were placed full of people, to here the same oration, amoungst which number sat Maister Hobson, which fryer, much extolling him that was then Pope of Rome, comparing him to Saint Peter, for in degree he names him above all ye holy fathers in time past as doctors, marters, prophets, yea and above more then prophets, Iohn Baptist.249 Then in what high place sayd the frier shall we place this good man, what place I say is fit for him or where shall he sit? Maister Hobson hearing him speake so prophanly250 and sitting amongst the audience, start up and sayd: If thou canst find no other, then set him here in my place, for I am weary, and so went his way. Of Maister Hobsons answere to a messenger of the Lord Maiors. Upon a time Ma.251 Hobson had arested one of my L. Maiors kinsmen for a certaine det owing him, and [he] being in the Counter my Lord Maior sent one of his officers for to intreat Maister Hobson to be favorable to his kinsman, telling a long tale, and to little purpose, whome Maister Hobson answered in this manner, My friend (quoth he) what thou saydst in the beginning I doe not like of: and what was in the middle, I doe not well remember, and for thy conclution, I understand it not: and this was all the favour Maister Hobson shewed to my Lord Maiors kinsman.

245

Peace, tranquillity (quietness). In the reign of Queen Mary (1553-1558), England reverted to Roman Catholicism, involving the brutal suppression of Protestants. 247 The courtyard of a well-known Carthusian monastery. 248 Benches. 249 An itinerant preacher, prophet and major religious figure, famous for baptising Christ, mentioned in the Bible and in the Qur’an. 250 Irreverently, impiously (profanely). 251 An alternative abbreviation for “Master.” 246

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From Wit and Mirth252 (8) Once the said monsieur saw a fellow that had a jack daw253 to sell: Sirra quoth he, what wilt thou take for thy daw? Monsieur (said the fellow) the price of my daw is two French crownes.254 Wherefore (said the other) dost thou aske so much for him? The fellow replyed, that the daw could speake French, Italian, Spanish, Dutch, and Latine; all which tongues hee will speake after he is a little acquainted in your lordships house: Well quoth hee, bring thy daw in, and there is thy money. In conclusion, jack daw (after a moneth or five weekes time) never spake otherwise then his fathers speece kaw, kaw: whereat the monsieur said, that the knave had cozened him of his money; but it is no matter, there is no great losse in it: for quoth hee, though my daw doe not speake, yet I am in good hope that he thinkes the more. (12) A cardinall255 of Rome had a goodly faire house new built, but the broken bricks, tiles, sand, lime, stones, and such rubbish as are commonly the 252

John Taylor (1580-1653), the Water-Poet as he called himself and authorcompiler of these jests, is one of the most prolific (and eccentric) writers in the English language, witty, boisterously satirical and sometimes scurrilous. In 1630 he published his collected works in folio edition, which included his Wit and Mirth compilation of jests that first appeared in 1628, then again the following year. In 1635 a reprint of the latter was produced in an abridged form. (This collection is not to be confused with Thomas D’Urfey’s Wit and Mirth, or Pills to Purge Melancholy, 1719-1720.) The title-page of the 1628 jest-book, from which the present selections are taken, reads: Wit and Mirth, Chargeably Collected Out of Tauernes, Ordinaries, Innes, Bowling-Greenes, and Allyes, Alehouses, Tobacco Shops, Highwaies, and Water-passages. Made Vp, and Fashioned into Clinches, Bulls, Quirkes, Yerkes, Quips, and Ierkes. Apothegmatically Bundled Vp and Garbled at the Request of Old Iohn Garrets Ghost [a jester of the period]. By Iohn Taylor, Water-Poet. (Printed at London for Henrie Gosson, and are to be sold at Christ-Church gate. 1628.) 253 One of the smallest birds of the crow family. 254 The English name for the French coin called écu, commonly regarded as equivalent to the English crown, valued at five shillings. 255 A senior figure in the Roman Catholic Church holding the highest position next to the pope, who is chosen from the cardinals’ ranks.

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remnants of such buildings lay confusedly in heaps and scattered here and there: The cardinall demanded of his survayor wherefore the rubbish was not conveyed away: The survayor said, that he purposed to hyre an hundred carts for the purpose. The cardinall replyed, that the charge of carts might be saved, for a pit might [be] digged in the ground and bury it. My lord, sayd the survayor, I pray you what shall we doe with the earth which we digge out of the said pit? Why, you horeson coxcomb,256 said the cardinall, canst thou not dig the pit deepe enough, and bury all together. (21) A country fellow (that had not walked much in streets that were paved) came to London, where a dog came suddenly out of a house, and furiously ran at him: The fellow stooped to take up a stone to cast at the dogge, and finding them all fast rammed257 or paved in the ground; quoth hee, What strange country am I in, where the people tye up the stones, and let the dogs loose. (31) One being long vexed with the spirit of iealousie, came suddenly into his house, and found a man (whom he suspected) some what too busie with his wife; to whom hee said, Now good fellow I thanke thee, for thou hast cured mee of a strange hellish torment; my suspition is cleared, and apparent knowledge hath given mee such ease of heart, that I will be iealous no more. (53) A man going with his wife by a deepe river side, began to talke of cuckolds, and withall he wisht that every cuckold were cast into the river: to whom his wife replyes, Husband, I pray you learne to swimme.

256

Similar to “bloody fool,” a coarsely abusive term though sometimes meant with a degree of humour (whoresome). 257 Firmly fixed.

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(70) A iudge upon the bench did aske an old man how old he was: My lord, said he, I am eight and fourscore: And why not fourscore and eight, said the iudge: The other replyde, Because I was eight before I was fourescore. Eight’s before eighty, all men may descry, Yet we name eighty first, contrarily: Pull off my boots and spurs, I you beseech, When spurs & boots is rather proper speech.258 (99) A clinch.259 A country man being demanded how such a river was called, that ranne through their country: he answered that they never had need to call the river, for it alwayes came without calling. (101) A toy260 to mocke an ape. In Queene Elizabeths dayes there was a fellow that wore a brooch in his hat, like a tooth drawer,261 with a rose and crowne and two letters: this fellow had a warrant262 from the Lord Chamberlaine263 at that time to travell with an exceeding brave264 ape which he had; whereby hee gat his living from time to time at markets and fayres: His ape did alwayes ride upon a mastife dog and a man with a drum to attend him. It happened that these foure travellers came to a towne called Looe in Cornwall,265 where the inne being taken, the drum went about to signifie to the people, that at such an inne was an ape of singular vertue266 and quality, if they pleased to 258

The last four lines are usually omitted in later editions. A sharp repartee that twists or turns about the meaning of a word, a word-play or pun (also clench). One of the various types of jests. 260 A facetious story or trifling entertainment. 261 An instrument used by dentists for extracting teeth. 262 An authoritative document. 263 The chief functionary of the royal court, the Lord Chamberlain often spoke on behalf of the monarch in Council and Parliament. 264 Fine, splendid. 265 A small coastal town in the County of Cornwall, south-western England. 266 Ability, accomplishment. 259

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bestow their time and money to see him: Now the townsmen being honest labouring fishers, and [of] other painfull functions, had no leasure to waste either time or coyne in ape-tricks, so that no audience came to the inne, to the great griefe of iack an apes267 his master: who collecting his wits together, resolved to adventure268 to put a tricke upon the town, whatsoever came of it; whereupon hee tooke pen, inke, and paper, and wrote a warrant to the mayor of the towne, as followeth. These are to will and require you, and every of you, with your wives and families, that upon the sight hereof you make your personall appearance before the Queenes ape, for it is an ape of ranke and quality, who is to be practised through her Maiesties dominions, that by his long experience amongst her loving subiects, he may be the better enabled to doe her Maiesty service hereafter; and hereof fayle you not, as you will answere the contrary, &c. This warrant being brought to the mayor, he sent for a shoomaker at the furthest end of the towne to reade it: which when he heard, he sent for all his brethren, who went with him to the towne hall to consult upon this waighty busines. Wher after they had sate a quarter of an houre, no man saying any thing, nor any man knowing what to say: at last a young man that never had borne any office, said, Gentlemen, if I were fit to speake, I thinke (without offence, under correction of the worshipfull) that I should soone decide this busines; to whom the mayor said, I pray good neighbour speake, for though you never did beare any office here, yet you may speake as wisely as some of us. Then sir, said the young man, my opinion is that this ape-carier is a gybing269 scoffing knave, and one that doth purpose to make this towne, a iesting mocking stocke through the whole kingdome: for, was it ever knowne that a fellow should be so impudent audacious as to send a warrant without either name or date, to a mayor of a town, to the Queens lieutenant, and that he with his brethren, their wives and families, should be all commanded to come before a iack-an-apes? My counsell is that you take him and his ape, with his man, and his dog, and whip the whole messe or murrinall270 of them out of the towne, which I thinke will bee much for your credit if you doe.

267

Traditionally the name for a tame ape or, by extension, for a man using the tricks or displaying the qualities of an ape (jackanapes). 268 Venture. 269 Taunting. 270 Pestilential lot.

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At which words a grave man of the towne being much moved, said, My friend you have spoken little better then treason, for it is the Queenes ape, and therefore beware what you say. You say true, said Master Mayor; I muse who bade that saucy fellow come into our company, I pray thee my friend depart; I thinke you long to have us all hanged. So in briefe hee was put out of the doores, for they were no company for him. Well now what is to bee done in this matter? Marry (said another senior) we see by the brooch in the mans hat that hee is the Queenes man, and who knowes what power a knave may have in the court to doe poore men wrong in the country, let us goe and see the ape, it is but 2 pence a peece, and no doubt but it wil be well taken, and if it come to the Queens eare, shee will thinke us kinde people that would shew so much duty to her ape, what may she thinke we would doe to her bears if they came hither? Besides it is above 200 miles to London, and if wee should be complained on & fetched up with pursivants,271 whereas now every man may escape for his 2 pence, Ile warrant it would cost us 10 groates a peece at the least. This counsell passed currant,272 and all the whole drove273 of the townsmen, with wives and children, went to see the ape, who was sitting on a table with a chain about his neck, to whom Master Mayor (because it was the Queens ape) put off his hat, & made a leg,274 but Iack let him passe unregarded. But Mistris Mayoresse cǀming next in her clean linnen held her hands before her belly, and, like a womƗ of good breeding made a low curtsie, whilest Iacke (still court-like) although [he] respected not the man, yet to expresse his courtesie to his wife he put forth his paw towards her, and made a mouth, which the woman perceiving, said, Husband I doe thinke in my conscience275 that the Queenes ape doth mocke mee: whereat Iacke made another mouth at her, which Master Mayor espying, was very angry, saying, Sirrah, thou ape, I doe see thy saucinesse, and if the rest of the courtiers have no more manners then thou hast, then they have all bin beter fed then taught: and I will make thee know before thou goest from hence that this woman is my wife; an ancient woman, and a midwife, and one that may be thy mother for age. In this rage Master Mayor went to the inne doore, where iack-an-apes tutor was gathering of money, to whom he said, Sir, doe you allow your ape to abuse my wife? No sir, quoth the other not by any meanes: Truly, said the mayor, there is witnesse enough within that have seene him make 271

That is, they would be served with warrants (pursuivants). Generally accepted or approved (current). 273 Crowd, gathering. 274 Bowed deeply, drawing the right leg back. 275 A common emphatic asserton, similar to “truly” or “upon my word.” 272

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mops and mowes276 at her, as if shee were not worthy to wipe his shooes, and I will not so put it up. Iacks tutor replyed, Sir, I will presently give him condigne277 punishment: and straight he tooke his Flanders blade, his whip, and holding his ape by the chaine, he gave him halfe a dozen ierks, which made his teeth daunce in his head like so many virginall jackes:278 which Master Mayor perceiving, ranne to him, and held his hands, saying, Enough enough, good sir, you have done like a gentleman, let me entreat you not to give correction in your wrath: and I pray you and your ape after the play is done, to come to my house and sup with me and my wife. (109) One borrowed a cloack of a gentleman, and met one that knew him, who said I thinke I know that cloake: It may be so, said the other, I borrowed it of such a gentleman: The other told him that it was too short: Yea but quoth he that had the cloake, I will have it long enougth before I bring it home a gaine. (110) A poore womans husband was to bee hanged at the towne of Lancaster279 and on the execution day shee entreated the shrieve280 to bee good to her and stand her friend: The shrieve said that hee could doe her no hurt,281 for her husband was condemned and iudged by the law, and therefore he must suffer. Ah good Master Shrieve said the woman, it is not his life that I aske, but because I have farre home, and my mare is old and stiffe, therefore I would entreat you to doe me the favour to let my husband be hanged first.

276

Derisive grimaces. Fitting, deserving (condign). 278 The keys of the virginal, a musical instrument (actually “jacks” are the upright wood pieces or plectra that pluck the strings when activated by the keys). 279 A town in the County of Lancashire, north-western England. 280 Sheriff. 281 That is, he could not help her. 277

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From Conceits, Clinches, Flashes, and Whimzies282 34. One asked what he was that had a fine wit in jest. It was answered, a foole in earnest. 46. One sayd to a gentleman that was too full of complement: Pray you, sir, do not spend so much wit; if you be so prodigall283 of it, you will, ere it be long, have none left for your selfe. 59. One asked his friend how he should use tobacco so that it might do him good? He answered: You must keepe a tobacco shop and sell it, for certainly there is none else find good in it. 68. A scholar and a courtier meeting in the street seemd to contest for the wall;284 sayes the courtier: I do not use to give every coxcombe the wall. The schollar answered: But I do, sir; and so passed by him. 127. One said physitians had the best of it; for, if they did well, the world did proclaime it; if ill, the earth did cover it. 282

Previously ascribed to John Taylor, the Water-Poet, this collection is now generally believed to be the work of Robert Chamberlain (c. 1607-1660). The 1639 edition is probably the only one that was published at this time and just a single copy of it is known. Its title-page reads: Conceits, Clinches, Flashes, and Whimzies. Newly Studied, with Some Collections, but Those Never Published Before in This Kinde. (London. Printed by R. Hodgkinsonne for Daniel Frere, and are to be sold at the signe of the red Bull in little brittain, 1639.) The present selections are from this text as edited by W. Carew Hazlitt, Shakespeare JestBooks, vol. 3 (1864). 283 Wastefully lavish (prodigal). 284 That is, who would take the inner side of the walkway, next to the wall, thus gaining precedence.

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142. A hypocrite is odious (saies one) to God, to Man, and to the Devill. God hates him, because he is not what he seemes, Man hates him, because he seemes what he is not, and the Devill hates him, because he seems not what he is truly and indeed. 143. One said of all professions, that stage-players were the most philosophicall men that were, because they were as merry and as well contented, when they were in rags as when they were in robes. 194. One asked another what Shakespeares works were worth, all being bound together.285 He answered, Not a farthing. Not worth a farthing! said he; why so? He answered that his plays were worth a great deale of mony, but he never heard, that his works were worth any thing at all.

285

In 1623, seven years after Shakespeare’s death, two of his friends and fellow actors published the first collected edition of his dramatic works in folio form.

CAVALIER AND ROUNDHEAD

From the beginning of his reign in 1625, Charles I had been in conflict with Parliament, opposing any attempt by it to restrict his absolute authority. Indeed when he dissolved his third Parliament in 1629 he seems to have had no intention of ever calling another, a policy which may well have worked if he had not needed to raise large amounts of revenue for his treasury. And for this, he required the consent of Parliament. The inevitable crisis came when Charles attempted to impose the English liturgy in Scotland by substituting an Anglican order of service for the Presbyterian directory of worship. When the Scots rebelled, throwing out the Book of Common Prayer, Charles made two failed attempts to subdue them by military force. This in turn soon developed into the Wars of the Three Kingdoms, an intertwined series of conflicts that took place in England, Ireland and Scotland between 1639 and 1651, all three countries being then under royal rule. Armed conflict finally broke out between Crown and Commons in 1642, which came to a climax, after many battles and much bloodshed, with the King’s beheading at Whitehall Palace in early 1649. A succession of experimental “republican” governments followed under Oliver Cromwell and, for a brief interval, his son Richard. All in all, this state of affairs lasted for almost two decades, ending with Charles II’s restoration to the throne in 1660. The Civil War and Interregnum in England was a period of unprecedented social, political, and religious upheaval, not only tearing apart families and friends but also unravelling the very fabric of society. As the religious order was rent by this turmoil, a bewildering number of sectsʊoften with radical theological viewsʊcame into prominence, challenging the principles and practices of the established Church of England. Such names as Diggers, Ranters, Levellers and Quakers, by which they became known, were initially terms of opprobrium, though some were adopted later by the factions themselves. They appealed particularly to the common man, flourishing as civil unrest grew, with several wielding considerable political power in the final days of the King and, for a period, during Cromwell’s rule. At the core of religious reform, beginning in the early years of Elizabeth’s reign, were the different groups broadly known as Puritans.

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They sought to re-establish the original simplicity of the church by eliminating an ecclesiastical hierarchy and other aspects of faith and worship not found, they claimed, in the Bible. But there was a lack of agreement about what should be changed and how far these changes should go. For example, while the Presbyterians supported a national church, the Congregationalists wanted each community to be individual and self-governing. Despite this, however, the Bible was generally seen as offering a rational and consistent doctrine—a covenant between God and man—setting forth rules and examples directing all human affairs. As this secular and spiritual controversy raged throughout the land, complicated often beyond reason or understanding and with positions shifting variously, England became more deeply divided between the supporters of Parliament (known as Roundheads or Parliamentarians) and those loyal to the King (called Cavaliers or Royalists). Most Roundheads, nevertheless, appear to have sought a constitutional monarchy, at least in the initial stages of the war; and while the Puritans were mainly Parliamentarians, many remained within the Church of England. While this on-going struggle was being played out in churches and Westminster, on street corners and battle fields, a literary war was also underway, fought with equal determination and passion. Although the traditional genres continued to be published—such as drama, epics, romances, hymns and histories—it was those which could quench the increasing thirst for news that prospered. Broadsides, pamphlets and ballads were produced in prodigious numbers and for immediate consumption, thereby acquiring different functions and bringing a new awareness to the printed word. Almanacs, recording current happenings and forecasting great upheavals, came into their own, along with parliamentary proceedings, letters and public speeches—all of absorbing interest to a hungry public. And as they grew exponentially, people also gained a greater understanding not only of the civil unrest about them but of the nature of irony, satire and the like. Most works were anonymous, though both sides employed well-known poets, playwrights and professional hacks to wage a propaganda war that would sway minds and help determine the future of the country. While the industry of newsmaking in London began in the 1620s, directly influenced by continental models, Charles was suspicious of the “promiscuous” circulation of printed topical information, believing that it was not meant for common people. Thus the Star Chamber issued new licensing legislation in 1632, then again in 1637, more closely regulating the press and bringing the publication of corantos (or news periodicals) and related literature largely to a halt. It was only with the breakdown of

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government censorship in the early 1640s that such pieces again proliferated, this time with such energy and force that the very nature of journalism was changed for good, leading eventually to the newspaper as we know it. An important step in this evolution was the appearance of the newsbook in 1641. To a certain extent it replaced the coranto, introducing a regularity of length (generally eight pages long), consecutive pagination, exact periodicity and fixed titles, such as Mercurius Civicus and Diurnall Occurences. As well, they had dates on their title pages and usually covered the week preceding their publication. While initially drawing upon much the same readership, these “mercuries” soon catered to particular niches, becoming an increasingly important instrument of literary and political faction until Parliament regained control of the press in late 1649. But by then it was only a matter of time before printed news in England, in a diversity of form and content, was readily available to a general reading public.1

The Zealous Puritan2 My brethren all attend, And list to my relation: This is the day, mark what I say, Tends to your renovation;° renewal, restoration Stay not among the wicked, Lest that with them you perish, But let us to New-England go, And the pagan people cherish; Then for the truths sake come along, come along, Leave this place of superstition: 1

Among other relevant collections, the following three have been of great help in the preparation of the present section: Charles MacKay, ed., The Cavalier Songs and Ballads of England from 1642 to 1648 (1863); Joad Raymond, ed., Making the News: An Anthology of the Newsbooks of Revolutionary England 1641-1660 (1993); Rump: Or an Exact Collection of the Choycest Poems and Songs Relating to the Late Times, 2 vols. (1662). 2 During the 1620s and 1630s, urged by their ministers to free themselves from what they regarded as the sinful corruptions of the Anglican Church, many Puritan families emigrated to New England, and particularly to the Massachusetts settlement. This poem is dated 1639.

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Were it not for we, that the brethren be, You would sink into perdition. There you may teach our hymns,° Without the laws controulment: We need not fear, the bishops there, Nor spiritual-courts inroulment;° Nay, the surplice3 shall not fright us, Nor superstitious blindness; Nor scandals rise, when we disguise, And our sisters kiss in kindness; Then for the truths sake, &c.

songs of praise to God

enrolment

For company I fear not, There goes my cosin Hannah,4 And Ruben, so perswades to go My cosin Joyce, Susanna. With Abigal and Faith, And Ruth, no doubt, comes after; And Sarah kind, will not stay behind; My cosin Constance daughter; Then for the truths sake, &c. Tom Tyler5 is prepared, And th’ smith as black as a coal; Ralph Cobler too with us will go, For he regards his soul; The weaver, honest Simon, With Prudence, Jacobs daughter, And Sarah, she, and Barbary,° Professeth° to come after; Then for the truths sake, &c.

3

pet name for Barbara Declares (her intention)

A loose vestment worn by Anglican clerics. The names in this stanza are from the Old Testament (or Hebrew Bible), much favoured by Puritans. All but “Ruben” are female first names. 5 The emphasis here and in the following four lines is on the simple occupations and sincere character of the Puritan men ready to emigrate. 4

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When we, that are elected,6 Arrive in that fair country, Even by° our faith, as the brethren saith, We will not fear our entry; The Psalms7 shall be our musick, Our time spent in expounding, Which in our zeal we will reveal To the brethrens joy abounding; Then for the truths sake, &c.

291

According to

Upon Mr. Pyms8 Picture Reader, behold the counterfeit° of him Who now controuls the land; almighty Pym! A man whom even the Devil to fear begins, And dares not trust him with succesless° sins; A man who now is wading through the floud° Of reverend Lauds, and noble Straffords bloud,9 To strike so high as to put bishops down, And in the miter10 to controul the Crown; The wretch hath mighty thoughts, and entertains Some glorious mischief in his active brains, Where now he’s plotting to make England such 6

picture

unsuccessful flood

Those who believed they were predestined for heaven (sometimes referred to as the visible saints or the elect). 7 Sacred songs, many linked to King David. 8 John Pym (1584-1643) was an English parliamentarian of the minor nobility, a fierce opponent of Roman Catholicism and a prominent critic of both James I and Charles I. Intensely Puritan, he led many legal attacks in the House of Commons supporting the powers of Parliament. The English Civil War was sparked in 1642 by the King’s unconstitutional attempt to arrest him and four of his colleagues. He died the following year, probably of cancer, and was buried in Westminster Abbey. 9 William Laud (1573-1645) was Archbishop of Canterbury from 1633 to 1645. A strong adherent of King Charles, and with High Church tendencies, he was in open antipathy to Puritanism. Accused of treason by the Long Parliament of 1640, he was imprisoned in the Tower of London and finally beheaded in January 1645. Thomas Wentworth, 1st Earl of Strafford (1593-1641), was a close ally of Laud and, for a period, a leading advisor to the king. In late 1640, however, he was impeached by Parliament for “high misdemeanours” in Ireland and executed several months later, his death warrant having reluctantly been signed by Charles. 10 A head-dress forming part of the insignia of a bishop, symbolic of the office and its authority (mitre).

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As may out-vye the villany of the Dutch;11 He dares not go to heaven, ’cause he doth fear To meet (and not pull down) the bishops there: Is it not strange, that in that shuttle-head° unsteady or vacillating mind Three kingdoms12 ruines should be buried? Is it not strange there should be hatch’t a plot Which should out-doe the treason of the Scot,13 And even the malice of a Puritan? Reader behold, and hate the poysonous man; The picture’s like him; yet ’tis very fit To adde one likeness more, that’s hang like it.

The Character of a Roundhead14 What creature’s this with his short hairs, His little band and huge long ears,15 That this new faith hath founded, The Puritans were never such, The Saints16 themselves, had ne’er so much, Oh, such a knave’s a Roundhead.

11 With both England and Holland emerging as major European powers during much of the seventeenth century, there was continual friction between them in terms of trade and sea routes. Religion was also an issue, with various English congregations emigrating to the Netherlands and Dutch settlers moving to New England. 12 The three kingdoms, England, Ireland and Scotland, were engaged in an intertwined series of conflicts between 1639 and 1651, including the two Bishops’ Wars of 1639-1640 and the Irish Rebellion of 1641. 13 In 1638 Scotland rose in revolt against Charles’s religious policies, resulting in the Bishops’ Wars. 14 Attributed to “Mr. Allibond of Lincoln Coll.” and dated 1641. A somewhat different version can be found in Samuel Butler’s Posthumous Works, the sixth edition of this questionable collection appearing in 1754. 15 Generally speaking, Puritan dress took the opposite form to the styles of the day. So when wide falling bands were in fashion, the Puritan male wore a very small band. However, short hair had traditionally been a distinguishing feature of Nonconformity. 16 Those who believed they were saved and predestined for heaven (sometimes referred to as the visible saints or the elect).

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What’s he that doth the bishops hate, And count their calling° reprobate,17 Cause° by the Pope propounded, And saies a zealous cobler’s better, Then° he that studieth every letter,° Oh, such a knave’s a Roundhead. What’s he that doth high treason say,° As often as his yea and nay, And wish the King confounded,° And dare maintain that Master Pym,18 Is fitter for the Crown then him, Oh, such a rogue’s a Roundhead.

293

vocation A view Than / a scholar or learned man

declare overthrown, defeated

What’s he that if he chance to hear, A piece of London’s Common-Prayer,19 Doth think his conscience wounded. And goes five miles to preach and pray, And lyes with’s sister by the way, Oh, such a rogue’s a Roundhead. What’s he that met a holy sister, And in an hay-cock gently kist her, Oh! Then his zeal abounded, Close underneath a shady willow, Her Bible serv’d her for her pillow, And there they got a Roundhead.

From The Diurnal Occvrrances, Touching the Dayly Proceedings in Parliament20 3-10 January, 1642

17

Unprincipled, morally degenerate. See above, p. 291, n. 8. 19 Prayers of public service prescribed by the Church of England as set forth in the Book of Common Prayer. For further information, see below, p. 299, n. 44. 20 This was one of many newsbooks produced shortly after their initial appearance on 29 November 1641 with the first publication of Heads of Severall Proceedings. “Diurnal”was commonly used in the titles, particularly in the earlier ones, because of the division of their content into daily sections. 18

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The House of Commons upon their meeting, entred upon the scanning of the liberty of the subject, and priviledges of Parliament, and having some time debated thereupon, notice was given of the Kings Majesties coming thither, which was about two of the clock in the after noone: His Majesty upon his entrance, demanded his prisoners, Mr. Pym, &c,21 but they being not there present, hee made a short speech wherein hee gave some reasons of their said accusation, desiring they might bee delivered to him: other[w]ise he would take them where he could finde them; further narrating his desire of his peoples welfare, and his concordancy with the Houses of Parliament in all things tending thereunto.

From A Perfect Diurnall of the Passages in Parliament22 21-8 February, 1641[2] Monday the 21. of February. There was a letter brought to the House23 from Lancashire,24 in discovery of certain dangerous plots of the Papists25 in that county upon the examination of one that was drawn to that religion by a Romish priest: and afterwards being much troubled in his mind concerning the same, although he had sworn secrecie, made discovery of their intendments.26 The effect whereof was, that he was told by a Romish priest of ten barrels of powder in one gentlemans house, and more in other places; which powder was to make balls of wildfire, wherewith to set on fire divers chief towns in this kingdome: And that he replying to the priest, It was a great pity to do such harm: the priest told him, They were hereticks, and it were no sin to destroy them: further adding, that when those towns should be set on fire, all the Papists in England would rise. Whereupon there was an order granted, to bring that priest and hee that disclosed this to the Parliament.

21

John Pym was one of five parliamentarians who Charles attempted to arrest upon entering the House of Commons on 5 January 1642. Forewarned, however, they had already fled. For further information, see above, p. 291, n. 8. 22 There were a number of newsbooks with this title by different publishers throughout 1642. 23 House of Commons. 24 A county in the north-west of England, sometimes known as the County of Lancaster. 25 Roman Catholics. 26 Intentions.

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From A Diurnall Out of the North: Or The Daily Occurrences of This Weeke Unto this present 16. of Iuly. 1642 As the King was bowling,27 there was scatter’d a paper with verses, very scandalous against Mr. Pym, and shewed the King, who having read them, tore them in pieces, and with a sad looke said, Such libellous rascals hath broke the peace of the kingdom, and if iustice did but lay hold of them, peoples minds would be quickly calm’d, he that showed them very likely looked for better thankes.

From A Perfect Diurnall of the Passages in Parliament Num. 12. 29 August-5 September, 1642 Friday the 2. of September. It was also voted that there shall be no common play-houses for the exercising of stage playes, and no common interludes within the kingdome….28 It is likewise reported that many of the Cavaleers being about two hundred in number are come to Oxford,29 and are made very welcome by the malignant30 party there, and having a great part of the city and of the university of their friends, they think to share their plate before they goe, and when they have gorged themselves with colledge beere, they are of opinion that they are in very safe trenches, and make some of the schollers beleeve that they are able to defend the town against forty thousand men. It is said that since the skirmish at Southam in Warwickshire,31 many of the Cavaleers have beene found dead in the corn-fields, being thrown there

27

Henry VIII, in making Whitehall Palace his main royal residence in 1530, added a bowling green, tennis courts, a pit for cock fighting and a tilt yard for jousting. 28 On 2 September 1642, Parliament ordered the closure of London’s theatres, passing two further ordinances a few years later threatening fines, whippings and imprisonment for anyone associated with stage performances. 29 The colleges of Oxford University, which were strongly Royalist, gave much of their plate to Charles. Hence the following play on words. 30 A term specifically applied at this time by supporters of Parliament and the Commonwealth to their adversaries. 31 On 23 August 1642, the day after Charles formally declared war on Parliament, a skirmish took place outside the town of Southam. Some historians claim that it, rather than the one fought at Edgehill, was the first battle of the English Civil War.

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by those that fled away, and that they did much hurt to the corn, by trampling and treading it down.

From The London City Petition 164332 The Humble Petition of the Major, Aldermen, and Commons of the City of London33 to His Majesty; With His Maiesties Gracious Ansvver Thereunto. (London, Printed for Humphry Tuckey. 1643. Published by His Majesty’s Command.) Sheweth, that the petitioners, Your Majesties most humble and loyall subjects, being much pierced34 with the long and great divisions between Your Majestie, and both your Houses of Parliament,35 and with the sad and bloody effects thereof, both here and in Ireland,36 are yet more deeply wounded by the misapprehension which Your Majestie seemeth to entertain of the love and loyalty of this your city, as if there were some cause of fear, or suspition of danger to your royall person, if Your Majestie should return hither;37 and that this is made the unhappy barre38 to that blessed reconciliation with your great and most faithfull Councell, for preventing that desolation and destruction which is now most apparently imminent to Your Majestie and all your kingdoms. For satisfaction therefore of Your Majestie, and cleering of the petitioners innocencie, they most humbly declare, (as formerly they have 32 From 1640 onwards London gave considerable support to Parliament. Eight thousand citizens and apprentices, for example, enlisted in the Earl of Essex’s army before the first major conflict of the English Civil War in October 1642. But the alarming prospect of continuing bloodshed and economic hardship prompted many in the City to seek for a cessation of hostilities, which helped bring about the peace negotiations at Oxford in early 1643. 33 That is, the Lord Mayor of London and the Court of Common Council, the principal governing body of the City. 34 Pained, grieved. 35 The British Parliament is bicameral, with an upper house, the House of Lords, and a lower house, the House of Commons. Sometimes, in contemporary texts, it is referred to as “Parliaments.” 36 Irish Catholic fears of an impending invasion of the country by English Parliamentary forces sparked the Irish Rebellion of 1641. Several months of violent chaos followed until, in the summer of 1642, the Irish Catholic upper classes and the clergy formed the Catholic Confederation. It was loosely aligned with the Royalist side and became the de facto government for much of Ireland. 37 That is, to London. 38 Obstacle, barrier (bar).

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done) that they are no way conscious of any disloyalty, but abhor all thoughts thereof; and that they are resolved to make good their late solemn protestation and sacred vowe, made to Almighty God, and with the last drop of their dearest bloods, to defend and maintain the true reformed Protestant religion, and, according to the duty of their allegiance, Your Majesties royall person, honour and estate, (whatsoever is maliciously and falsly suggested to Your Majestie to the contrary) as well as the power and priviledges of Parliament, and the lawfull rights and liberties of the subject; and do hereby ingage themselves, their estates, and all they have to their uttermost power, to defend and preserve Your Majestie and both Houses of Parliament from all tumults, affronts and violence, with as much loyalty, love and duty, as ever citizens expressed towards Your Majestie, or any of your royall progenitors,39 in their greatest glory. The petitioners therefore, upon their bended knees do most humbly beseech Your Majestie to return to your Parliament, (accompanied with your royall, not martiall attendance;)40 to the end, that religion, laws and liberties may be setled and secured, and whatsoever is amisse in Church and Commonwealth, reformed by their advice, according to the fundamentall constitutions of this kingdom: and that such a peace may thereby be obtained, as shall be for the glory of God, the honour and happinesse of Your Majesty and posterity, and the safety and welfare of all your loyall subjects, who (the petitioners are fully assured, whatsoever is given out to the contrary,) does unanimously desire the peace herein expressed. And the petitioners shall ever pray, &c. Michell. His Majesty hath gratiously considered this petition, and returnes this answer. That His Majesty doth not entertain any mis-apprehension of the love and loyalty of his City of London. As he hath alwayes expressed a singular regard and esteem of the affections of that city, and is still desirous to make it his chief place of residence, & to continue & renew many marks of his favour to it, so he believes much the better and greater part of that his city is full of love, duty & loyalty to His Majesty; and that the tumults, 39 Queen Henrietta Maria had nine children, of whom three died in infancy. The future Charles II was born in 1630 and his brother, James, in 1633. 40 Charles and a force of 11,000 men had marched on London to meet the Parliamentary army under the Earl of Essex at the battle of Edgehill (23 October 1642), regarded as the first major conflict of the English Civil War.

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which heretofore forced His Majesty for his safety to leave that place, though they were contrived and encouraged by some principall members thereof, (who are since well known, though they are above the reach of justice) consisted more of desperate persons of the suburbs, and the neighbouring towns, (who were misled too by the cunning and malice of their seducers,) then of the inhabitants of that city. He lookes on his good subjects there, as persons groaning under the same burthern which doth oppresse His Majesty, and awed by the same persons who begat those tumults, and the same army which gave battell to His Majesty. And therefore as no good subject can more desire from his soule a composure of the generall distractions, so no good citizen can more desire the establishment of the particular peace and prosperity of that place, by His Majesties accesse thither, then His Majesty himself doth. But His Majesty desires his good subjects of London seriously to consider; what confidence His Majesty can have of security there, whilst the laws of the land are so notoriously despised and trampled under foot, and the wholsome government of that city (heretofore so famous over all the world) is now submitted to the arbitrary power of a few desperate persons of no reputation, but for malice and disloyalty to him; whil’st armes are taken up not only without, but against his consent and expresse command, and collections publikely made, and contributions avowed for the maintenance of the army which hath given him battle, and therein us’d all possible meanes treason and mallice could suggest to them, to have taken his life from him, and to have destroyed his royall issue;41 whilest such of His Majesties subjects, who out of duty and affection to His Majesty, and compassion of their bleeding country, have labour’d for peace, are reviled, injured and murthered, even by the magistrates of that city, or by their directions; lastly, what hope His Majesty can have of safety there whilst Alderman Pennington their pretended Lord Major,42 (the principall authour of those calamities, which so neerly threaten the ruine of that famous city), Ven, Foulke, and Mainwaring (all persons notoriously guilty of schisme, and high treason,) commit such outrages in 41

Offspring, and hence the House of Stuart. In 1638, Isaac Penington (1584-1561) was elected Sheriff of London, which began a long political career involving continuous hostility to the King’s cause. On 16 August 1642, Parliament appointed him Lord Mayor of London after removing the Royalist Sir Richard Gurney from the position. And in July 1643 he became Lieutenant of the Tower of London. Although he was one of the commissioners not to sign Charles’s death warrant, his lands were confiscated in 1660 and he was sentenced to life imprisonment in the Tower, where he died the following year. (“Pretended” in the sense of professed or feigned.) 42

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oppressing, robbing and imprisoning according to their discretion,43 all such His Majest[i]es loving subjects, whom they are pleased to suspect but for wishing well to His Majesty. And His Majesty would know whether the petitioners believe, that the reviling and suppressing the Book of Common Prayer, (establisht in this Church ever since the Reformation,)44 the discountenancing45 and imprisoning godly, learned, and painfull preachers, and the cherishing and countenancing of Brownists,46 Anabaptists,47 and all manner of sectaries,48 be the way to defend, and mayntain the true, reformed, Protestant religion? That to comply with and assist persons, who have actually attempted to kill His Majesty, and to allow and favour libels, pasquils,49 and seditious sermons against His Majesty, be to defend his royall person and honour, according to the duty of their allegiance? Whether to imprison mens persons, and to plunder their houses, because they wil not rebell against His Majesty, not assist those that doe? Whether to destroy their property by taking away the twentieth part of their estates from them, and by the same arbitrary power to referre to foure standers by of their own faction, to judge what that twentieth part is, be to defend the lawfull rights and liberties of the subject?50 And if they think these actions to be instances of either; whether they doe not know the persons before named to be guilty of them all? Or whether they thinke is possible, that Almighty God can blesse that city, and preserve it from destruction, whilst persons of such known guilt and wickednesse, are defended and justified amongst them, against the power of that law, by which they can only subsist? His Majesty is so farre from suffering himselfe to be incensed against the whole city, by the actions of these ill men, though they have hitherto 43

Judgment or as they think fit. Originally published in 1549, in the reign of Edward VI, the Book of Common Prayer was a product of the English Reformation following Henry VIII’s break with Rome. It was the first prayer book in English to include the complete forms of service for daily and Sunday worship. 45 Disfavouring. 46 Followers or adherents of the ecclesiastical principles of Robert Browne (15501633), though the term was also used as a common designation for early separatists from the Church of England. 47 An opprobrious name given to a radical Protestant sect in reference to the practice of “re-baptising” converts. 48 Adherents of schismatical or heretical sects. 49 Circulated or published lampoons. 50 Beginning in 1643, Royalists’ lands were sequestered for their “delinquency” or “malignancy.” But it was not until 1655 that a “decimation tax” was introduced against the estates of those whom the government suspected as dangerous. 44

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been so prevalent as to make the affections of the rest of little use to him, and is so willing to be with them, and to protect them, that the trade, wealth, and glory thereof (so decayed and eclipsed by these publike distractions)51 may again be the envy of all forraign nations, that he doth once more graciously offer his free and generall pardon to all the inhabitants of that his City of London, the suburbs, and Citty of Westminster, (except the persons formerly excepted by His Majesty,) if they shall yet returne to their duty, loyalty and obedience.... If notwithstanding all this, the art52 and interest of these men can prevaile so farre, that they involve more men in their guilt, and draw that his citty to sacrifice it’s present happines and future hopes to their pride, fury, and malice, His Majesty shall onely give them this warning, that whosoever shall henceforward, take up armes without his consent, contribute any mony or plate,53 upon what pretence of authority soever, for maintenance of the army under the command of the Earle of Essex,54 or any other army in rebellion against him, or shall pay tunnage and poundage,55 till the same shall be setled by act of Parliament; every such person must expect the severest punishment the law can inflict; and in the meane time His Majesty shall seize upon any part of his estate within his power, for the relief and support of him and his army rais’d and maintain’d for the defence of his person, the lawes, and this his kingdome; and since he denyes to His Majesty the duty and benefit of his subjection, by giving assistance to rebells, which by the knowne lawes of the land is high treason, His Majesty shall likewise deny him the benefit of his protection, and shall not only signifie to all his forraigne ministers, that such person shall receive no advantage by being his subject, but shall by all other wayes and meanes proceed against him as a publike enemy to His Majesty, and this kingdome. * * * For concurring with the advice of his two Houses of Parliament, which with reference to the Common-wealth may be as well at this distance, as 51

Disorder, dissension. Guile, artifice. 53 Table-ware, ornaments, etc., often of gold or silver. 54 See above, p. 296, n. 32. 55 Customs duties granted since medieval times to the Crown by Parliament, which had been Charles’s main source of revenue until these rights were withdrawn. This action by Parliament and the subsequent disputes about tonnage and poundage are seen as among the many events leading to the English Civil War. 52

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by being at White-hall,56 His Majesty doubts not but his good subjects of London, well know how farre (beyond the example of his predecessors) His Majesty hath concurred with their advice, in passing of such lawes, by which he willingly parted with many of his knowne rights for the benefit of his subjects, which the fundamentall constitutions of this kingdome did not oblige him to consent unto, and hath used all possible meanes to beget a right understanding betweene them; and will therefore apply themselves to those, who, by making just, peaceable and honourable propositions to His Majesty can only beget that concurrence. FINIS.

The Humble Petition of the House of Commons57 If Charles thou wilt but be so kind To give us leave to take our mind,° Of all thy store.° When we thy loyal subjects, find Th’ast° nothing left to give behind,° Wee’ll ask no more. First, for religion, it is meet° We make it go upon new feet, ’Twas lame before: One from Geneva58 would be sweet, Let Warwick59 fetch’t home his fleet, Wee’ll ask no more. 56

to take heed stock, possessions

You have (Thou hast) / bestow fit, proper

The Palace of Whitehall was the main residence of English monarchs in London from 1530 to 1698 when it was largely destroyed by fire. By that time it had grown to be the largest palace in Europe. Charles was executed in front of the building in late January 1649. 57 Attributed to Sir Henry Killigrew (not to be confused with the well known Elizabethan diplomat and ambassador of the same name) and published on the 5 October 1643. 58 In 1536 John Calvin (1509-1564) arrived in Geneva, which became the centre for his form of Protestantism. “Calvinism,” as it soon became known, spread widely in Europe after the 1540s. 59 Robert Rich, 2nd Earl of Warwick (1587-1658), was a colonial administrator, plantation owner and fervent Puritan. In 1642, following the dismissal of the Earl of Northumberland as Lord High Admiral, he was appointed Commander of the Fleet by Parliament.

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Let us a consultation call Of honest men, but Round-heads all, God knows wherefore; Allow them but a place to baul° ’Gainst bishops courts canonical, Wee’ll ask no more.

to cry out, shout (bawl)

Let him be hang’d a surplice60 wears And tippet61 on his shoulders bears, Raggs of the whore; Secure us from our needlesse fears, Let ʊ— and Burton have their ears,62 Wee’ll ask no more. Reform each university, And in them let no learning be, A great eye-sore; From hence make Romes Arminians63 flee, That none may have free-will, but wee, Wee’ll ask no more. Lest the elect64 should go astray, Let coblers teach you the right of way To heavens door; And lest their soles should wear away, Let them their sisters underlay, We’ll ask no more.

60

A loose vestment worn by Anglican clerics. A scarf generally of black silk, sometimes lined with fur. It was strongly opposed by the Puritans, who hated it as much as they did the surplice. 62 In 1637 Dr. John Bastwick, William Prynne and Henry Burton were brought before the Star Chamber by Archbishop Laud on charges of sedition. All three were severely punished, losing their ears as the crowd wept and applauded them. 63 Arminianism is based on the teachings of Dutch theologian Jacobus Arminius (1560-1609). It is related to Calvinism, but with fundamental differences particularly concerning the doctrine of divine predestination and salvation. Ultimately Arminians (or Remonstrants as they called themselves) believed that man has free will to respond and resist. 64 Those who believed they were predestined for heaven (sometimes referred to also as the visible saints). 61

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Next from the bishops hierarchy,65 Oh the word sounds but scurvily, Let’s hear’t no more; It ne’re was taught the apostles66 by, Lay-elders may the place supply, Wee’ll ask no more. Next, for the state, we think it fit That Mr. Pym67 should govern it, He’s very poor: The money that’s for Ireland writ,68 Faith let them have the Devil a bit, Wee’ll ask no more. For ordering the militia,69 Let us ordain a new new way, Ne’re heard before; Let the Great Council° bear the sway, If you will give us leave you may, Wee’ll ask no more.

Parliament

In this we will not be deny’d, Because in you wee’ll not confide, We know wherefore The citizens their plate provide, Do you but send in yours beside, Wee’ll ask no more. 65

Puritans sought to purge the Anglican Church of every vestige of Roman Catholic ritual and practice, including the ruling hierarchy of cardinals and bishops. Instead, all ecclesiastical authority would be invested in ministers and lay elders elected by each parish, province and state. 66 In the Gospels, Christ selected twelve apostles to spread his teachings to all nations. 67 See above, p. 291, n. 8. 68 With the outbreak of rebellion in Ireland in the autumn of 1641, there was almost universal agreement that an army should be mustered at once. But many members of Parliament feared that forces raised by Charles could be later used against them. 69 Armed forces. A Militia Bill was introduced in the House of Commons in December 1641, giving over control of the armed forces to Parliament. It passed its first reading, but Charles refused to give his assent to the bill, and so it was unable to become law.

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Now if that you’ll make Hull70 your own, There’s one thing more we must set down Forgot before; Sir John shall then give up the town, If you will but resign your Crown, Wee’ll ask no more.

Vive Le Roy71 What though the zealots, pull down the prelates,72 Push at the pulpit, and kick at the Crown, Shall we not ever, strive to endeavour, Once more to purchase our royal renown? Shall not the Roundhead first be confounded? Sa, sa, sa, sa boyes, ha, ha, ha, ha boyes, Then wee’le return home, with triumph and joy, Then wee’le be merry, drink sack and sherry, And we will sing boys, God blesse the King boys, Cast up our caps, and cry, Vive Le Roy. What though the wise, make Alderman Isaack,73 Put us into prison, and steal our estates; Though we are forced, to be un-horsed, And walk on foot, as it pleaseth the Fates; In the Kings army, no man shall harm ye; Then come along boyes, valiant and strong boys, Fight for your goods, which the Roundheads enjoyes; And when you venter,° London to enter,

70

venture

On 23 April 1642 Charles rode to Hull and demanded entry. But the Governor of the city, Sir John Hotham, refused, marking for many the beginning of the English Civil War. 71 “Long live the King” (French). A well known Cavalier song, set variously to the tune of “Love Lies Bleeding” (or “Vive Le Roy”), with its popularity continuing during the Restoration and afterwards. 72 Ecclesiastical dignitaries (e.g. bishops). 73 Isaac Penington held various important political positions in the City (including Sheriff of London and Lord Mayor) during the late 1630s and early 1640s. (For further information, see above, p. 298, n. 42.) These dates and various references in the poem would suggest that it was composed sometime during this period.

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And when you come boys, with phife and drum74 boyes, Isaack himself shall cry, Vive Le Roy. If not then, chuse him, ’twill not excuse him, Since honest parliaments never made them theeves; Charles ne’re did furder,° theeves dipt in murder, further Never by pardon, long lease,75 or reprieves; For such conditions, and propositions Will not be granted, then be not daunted, We will our honest old customes enjoy: Pauls° now rejected, shall be respected, St. Paul’s Cathedral And in the quire, voyces sing hire,° higher Thanks to Jehovah,° then Vive Le Roy. God, the Lord

Short and Sweet76 Wise men suffer, good men grieve, Knaves devise, and fools believe, Help, O Lord, send ayd unto us, Else knaves and fools will quite undoe us.

From Mercurius Britanicus77 Numb. 19. 28 December-4 January, 1643 [4] He78 tells us that one of our party,79 their prisoner, that he sayes committed buggery on a mare, now the truth is, for ought I hear yet, he committed but 74

Martial music (fife). That is, long lease of life. 76 Attributed to Francis Quarles (1592-1644), best known for Emblems, a religious work originally published in 1635 and immensely popular with ordinary folk. At the outbreak of the English Civil War he took the Royalist side, probably writing this short poem between 1642 and 1644. 77 This newsbook was established in 1643 to serve as counter-propaganda to the royalist Mercurius Aulicus. The glaring error in the spelling of “Britanicus,” made in the first issue, was resolutely kept in the succeeding ones as a matter of pride. In the entertaining (though propagandist) exchange here with Aulicus, where this incident was first introduced weeks before, Aulicus has the last word in a later issue claiming that the prisoner had been executed. 78 The Aulicus writer. 79 Of the Parliamentary cause. 75

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onely burglary; that is, he got into the stable, and bridled the mare, and was endeavouring to get away; but you may see what a lewd generation they are, and how they interpret every thing into sin; and now they have bethought them of this kinde of impiety, you shall have them sinning with the very beasts of the field shortly, and keeping mares for breeding Cavaliers on, and they may do it as lawfully as the ladies of honour80 may keep stallions and monkies, and their bishops shee-goates and Ganimedes,81 for they make nothing of such prodigious fornication, they make nothing of sodomy and gomorrahisme,82 especially your Italianated lords, and your hot privy counsellors, that have seen fashions abroad, as Dorset the Earle,83 that hath travelled to Venice for his sins, and Littleton,84 that was once Keeper of the seduced Seale, and had his concubines as common as his law, though I am not able to give you an account of his latter trespasses; perhaps he commits now with unreasonable creatures, as Aulicus sayes, for I hear he hath a pretty dappled mare, which he keeps for his own saddle: But of all sinners, your cathedrall men are the worst, some of your prebends85 make nothing of sinning with the little singing boyes after an anthem; oh! this is prodigious lust, which rages after organ pipes, and surpilisses;86 I could tell you a strange story of a reverend prelate that you all know, you would little 80

Upper-class women. Ganymede, of classical mythology, became a symbol for the beautiful young male who attracted homosexual love and desire. 82 Sodom and Gomorrah, two ancient cities mentioned in the Book of Genesis and elsewhere, were reputedly filled with all types of evil. They are commonly used as metaphors for homosexuality and “sexual crimes against nature.” 83 Edward Sackville, 4th Earl of Dorset (1591-1652), was an English soldier, courtier, and politician. He travelled widely on the continent and was involved in the colonization of North America. Called to the Privy Council in 1626, he became a powerful influence at Charles’s court, supporting the Royalist cause in the English Civil War. 84 Edward Littleton, 1st Baron Littleton (1589-1645), judge and politician, emerged as a leading figure in the Parliament of 1628, holding various important government positions, including Lord Keeper of the Great Seal. Although he incurred the displeasure of Charles by voting for the Militia Ordinance in early 1642, he secretly had the seal delivered to the King at York, joining him shortly afterwards. As a result, a new Lord Keeper was appointed by Parliament on 10 November 1643. 85 Members of the clergy holding cathedral or church benefices (i.e. prebendaries). Part of the “cathedrall men” referred to above. 86 That is, after church organs had stopped playing and priests had removed their surplices (or vestments). 81

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imagine what doings he hath had in his vestry, but I leave his transgression to be inserted in the next century.

From Mercvrivs Avlicvs87 The Second Weeke [7-13 January, 1644] Monday. Jan: 8. You may remember in the 36 weeke of the last yeare, we told you of certaine zealous young maids in the citie of Norwich,88 who covenanted together to raise troope of Horse89 for the rebels service; and then we said these forward girles (when honest times came againe) would either live to be stale virgins, or else make use of these dayes of reformation. And for a truth we are certified,90 that no lesse then five of this virgin troope are now great with childe, but by whom it is not yet signified:91 only ’tis said these sisters are very busie, plundering for husbands against the good houre. And let all virgins looke to it, for people hereafter will scarce thinke them honest, who are so bold and shamelesse as to joyne in a rebellion against their owne soveraigne.

A Song92 Know this my brethren heaven is clear, And all the clowds are gone, The righteous men shall flourish now Good dayes are comming on; Come then my brethren and be glad, And eke° rejoyce with me,

87

also

Considered as one of the most important early newspapers, the Aulicus originated from a suggestion by one of the King’s advisors that the Royalist faction needed a method of promoting its views. 88 One of the most important cities in the kingdom at this time, Norwich experienced serious inter-factional disturbances throughout the English Civil War. 89 Cavalry. 90 Informed. 91 Made known. 92 This poem is contained in Francis Quarles’s Shepherds’ Oracle, published a year after his death in 1645 (see above, p. 305, n. 76). Set to the tune of Cockolds All Arow, it is presented from a Puritan’s perspective and hence is generally regarded as satirical.

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Lawn° sleeves and rochets93 shall go down, And hey then up go we.

fine linen

Wee’l break the windows which the Whore Of Babylon94 hath painted,° stained-glass church windows And when the Popish saints are down, Then burges95 shall be sainted; There’s neither crosse nor crucifix Shall stand for men to see, Romes trash and trumpery° shall go down, trickery, deceit And hey then up go we. What ere the Popish hands have built, Our hammers shall undoe, Wee’l break their pipes,° and burn their copes,96 And pull down churches too; Wee’l exercise97 within the groves, And teach beneath a tree, Wee’l make a pulpit of a cask, And hey then up go we. Wee’l down with all the versities,° Where learning is profest, Because they practice and maintain The language of the beast; Wee’l drive the doctors° out of doors, And parts what ere they be; Wee’l cry all arts and learning down, And hey then up go we.

organ-pipes

universities

teachers, those eminently learned

Wee’l down with deans and prebends98 too, And I rejoyce to tell ye 93

Bishops’ vestment, similar to a surplice. The Whore of Babylon is associated with the Antichrist and the Beast of Babylon in the New Testament (Revelation 17: 4-18). Puritans commonly used the phrase when referring to the Roman Catholic Church. 95 Freemen of a borough, citizens (burgesses). 96 A vestment resembling a long cloak worn by clergymen. But perhaps here, more specifically, it refers to the special dress of a monk or friar. 97 That is, we will perform the observances of our religion. 98 A canon of a cathedral or collegiate church (prebendary). 94

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How that we will eat pigs our fill, And capon by the belly; Wee’l burn the fathers learned books, And make the school-men flee; Wee’l down with all that smells of wit,° And hey then up go we.

309

knowledge, intelligence

If once the antichristian crew Be crush’d and overthrown, Wee’l teach the nobles how to stoop, And keep the gentry down; Good manners have an ill report, And turns to pride we see, Wee’l therefore cry good manners down, And hey then up go we. The name of Lords° shall be abhorr’d, For every man’s a brother, No reason why in Church and State One man should rule another. But when the change of government Shall set our fingers free, Wee’l make the wanton sisters stoop, And hey then up go we.

House of Lords

What though the King and Parliament Do not accord together, We have more cause to be content, This is our sun-shine weather; For if that reason should take place, And they should once agree, Who would be in a Round-heads case? And hey then up go we. What should we do then in this case, Let’s put it to a venture,° If that we hold out seven years space, Wee’l sue out our indenture,99

leave it to fortune or chance

99 That is, they will take legal action against the master for not fulfilling the terms of a seven-year contract (figurative).

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A time may come to make us rue, And time may set us free, Except the gallows claim his due, And hey then up go we.

When the King Enjoys His Own Again100 What Booker101 doth prognosticate,° concerning kings or kingdoms state,102 I think myself to be as wise, as some that gazeth in the skyes: My skill goes beyond the depth of a pond, or rivers in the greatest rain, Whereby I can tell, all things will be well, when the King enjoys his own again. There’s neither swallow, dove nor dade,° can soar more high, or deeper wade; Nor shew a reason from the stars, what causeth peace or civil wars: The man in the moon may wear out his shoo’n° by running after Charles his wain,103 But all’s to no end, for the times will not mend till the King enjoys his own again.

100

foretell, prophesy

a type of wading bird

shoes

This poem, in support of the King’s declining fortunes, was composed in the early-mid 1640s very probably by Martin Parker (c. 1600-1656?), whom John Dryden considered as the best ballad writer of his time. Originally set to the tune of Marry Me, Marry Me, Quoth the Bonnie Lass, it was one of the most popular of all Cavalier songs, and continued to be sung during the Restoration and early eighteenth century. Probably for this reason there are various contemporary and later versions of the poem, with some including “Upon the Defacing of Whitehall” as part of the title. 101 Booker, Pond, Rivers, Swallow, Dade, The Man in the Moon, and (later in the poem) Hammond were all astrologers and almanac makers during these years. Booker foretold the downfall of the King and popery and The Man in the Moon appears to have been a loyalist in his predictions. 102 “Fate” in some versions. 103 In Western history, at least since Homer’s time, the seven bright stars in the constellation Ursa Major have been seen both as a wagon and a bear. Hence they have been variously referred to as the Great Bear and Charles’s Wain (i.e. wagon). The punning in the previous lines obviously takes a new turn here.

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Full forty years this royal crown hath been his fathers and his own;104 And is there any one but he, that in the same should sharers be? For who better may the scepter sway than he that hath such right to reign? Then let’s hope for a peace, for the wars will not cease, till the King enjoys his own again. Though for a time we see White-hall105 with cobweb-hangings on the wall, Instead of gold and silver brave,° which formerly ’twas wont to have, With rich perfume in every room, delightful to that princely train, Which again shall be, when the time you see, that the King enjoys his own again.

fine, splendid

Did Walker106 no predictions lack in Hammonds bloody almanack?107 Foretelling things that would ensue, that all proves right, if lies be true: But why should not he the pillory108 foresee, wherein poor Toby109 once was tane? And also foreknow, to the gallows he must go, when the King enjoys his own again?

104

James I, then Charles I reigned from 1603 until this time. See above, p. 301, n. 56. 106 This stanza is omitted in many versions of the poem. Walker was a colonel in the Parliamentary army and, in 1647, a member of the Committee of Safety. 107 Referred to as “bloody” because the compiler carefully noted the anniversary of Royalist misfortunes. 108 A wooden framework erected on a post or pillar for the public punishment of offenders. 109 Probably Sir Toby Matthew (or Tobie Mathew), a Roman Catholic priest, who was banished from England several times for his faith. In 1640 he was apprehended by a warrant from the Archbishop of Canterbury and, with other Catholic sympathisers, taken before Parliament for being an “obnoxious recusant.” 105

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Then avaunt upon thy hill,110 my hope shall cast his anchor still, Until I see some peaceful dove bring home the branch I dearly love: Then will I wait for the waters to abate, which now disturb my troubled brain Else never rejoyce till I hear the voice, that the King enjoys his own again.

The Scots Arrears111 Four hundred thousand pounds! A lusty bag indeed: Was’t ever known so vast a sum Ere past the River Tweede?112 Great pity it is, I swear, Whole carts113 was thither sent, Where hardly two in fifty knew, What forty shillings meant: But ’twas to some perceiv’d, Three kingdoms were undone.114 And those that sit here thought it fit, To settle them one by one, Now Ireland hath no haste, So there they’le not begin; The Scotish ayde must first be paid, For ye came freely in, 110

Genesis 8:4: “At the end of a hundred and fifty days the water had abated; and in the seventh month, on the seventeenth day of the month, the ark came to rest upon the mountains of Ararat.” In some versions of the poem there is direct reference to “Ararat’s hill.” 111 On 5 May 1646, Charles surrendered to Scottish forces, which had entered northern England more than two years earlier. But, after refusing to take the Covenant, he was handed over to the commissioners of Parliament, the Scottish government receiving a sum of four hundred thousand pounds in part payment for the service of their army, which then returned home. 112 Forming a border between England and Scotland. 113 That is, cartloads of money. 114 The intertwined wars of England, Ireland and Scotland began in 1639 and continued until 1651.

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And William Lilly115 writesʊ Who writes the truth you know; In frosty weather they marched hither, Up to the chins in snow. Free quarter at excesse,116 They do not weigh a feather, Those crowns for° coals, brought in by shoals;117 Scarce kept their men together, Of plunder they esteem° As trifles of no worth, Of force ye dote, because recruit° Issued no faster forth. If once this cash is paid, I hope the Scot be spedd,° He need not steal, but fairly deal,° Both to be cloth’d and fedd. Our sheep and oxen may Safe in their pastures stand, What need they filch° the cow That’s milch to sojourn° in their land. I wonder much the Scot With this defiles his hand, Because the summ’s a price of Rome, Rais’d out of the bishops lands;118 But too too well ye know To what intent they in come; ’Twas not their pains° produc’d this gains, ’Twas sent to pack them home: Methinks I hear them laugh To see how matters proved, And give a shout, it so fell out, Ye were more fear’d than loved. 115

instead of value money

speedily departs be dealt with fairly

steal reside for a time

military efforts

William Lilly (1602-1681) was an English astrologer famous in his time. That is, there was an abundance of free board and lodging for the Scottish forces. 117 In huge quantity. 118 On 9 October 1646, with the passing of an ordinance by Parliament, the sale of Episcopal lands in England and Wales began. In the following year the proceeds were used in the hope of paying off the Scots and replenishing the exhausted treasury. 116

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If Jockey119 after this Reneaginge hath forgot, From antient sires, he much retires, And shows himself no Scot.120

The Independents Resolve121 Come drawer122 and fill us about some wine Let’s merrily tipple the day’s our own, Wee’l have our delights, let the country go pine,° Let the King and his kingdom groan. The Crown is our own, and so shall continue, Wee’l monarchy baffle quite, Wee’l drink off the kingdomes revenue, And sacrifice all to delight. ’Tis power that brings Us all to be kings, And wee’l be all crown’d by our might.

suffer (pain)

A fig for divinity lectures and law, And all that to loyalty do pretend, While we by the sword keep the kingdom in aw,° fear (awe) Our power shall never have end. The Church and the State wee’l turn into liquor, And spend a whole town in a day, We’l melt all their bodkins° the quicker daggers, poniards Into sack, and drink them away. We’l keep the demeans° possessions, lands, power (demesne) And turn° bishops and deans, dismiss, drive away And over the Presbyters° sway. Presbyterian elders

119

A Scottish diminutive form of Jack, often used pejoratively (as here). That is, if later he forgets traditional ways and does not break his promise, then he is no Scot. 121 Alexander Brome (1620-1666), an ardent Royalist, was the author of many drinking songs and polemical verses. In this poem, written in 1648, he satirizes the Independent faction, a loose coalition of Puritan radicals who, in opposition to the Presbyterians, advocated freedom of religion for non-Catholics and the complete separation of church and state. For much of the 1640s, the Puritan members of Parliament were split broadly between these two parties. 122 Drawer of beer or liquor at a tavern, a drawer. 120

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The nimble St. Patrick° is sunk in his boggs, Ireland (symbolic) And his country-men sadly cry O hone! O hone!° alas! St. Andrew and’s kirk-men123 are lost in the foggs, Now we are the Saints° alone. Puritan elect Then on our superiours and equalls we trample, And Jockie124 our stirrup shall hold, The City’s our mule for example, That we may in plenty be roul’d.° ruled Each delicate dish, Shall but eccho our wish And our drink shall be cordial° gold. restorative, invigorating

A Song in Defence of Christmass125 Now Christmass is come, let us beat up the drum, And call our good neighbours together. And when they appear, let us make them good chear, That will keep out the wind and the weather, To feast at this season, I think ’tis no treason, I could give you a reason why, Though some are so pure, that they cannot endure to see A nativity pye.° Christmas pie I cannot but wonder, that the souldiers should plunder, For keeping our Saviours birth, For all Christians then, or I cannot tell when, Should shew forth their joy and their mirth, But our Saints° now adayes, despise good old wayes the Puritan elect ’Gainst which they both preach and pray, But to give them their dues, they’re no better than Jewes, That speak against Christmass day.

123

That is, Scotland and the Presbyterians. See above, p. 314, n. 119. 125 In 1645 Parliament adopted the “Directory of Public Worship,” curtailing traditional Christmas celebrations and other festivities, which were viewed by many Puritans as threatening core Christian beliefs. Attempts were made over the following years to enforce or enhance the ban, resulting in riots throughout the country in 1647. This poem is undated and anonymous, but it was probably composed during this period. 124

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These like the good chear, all times oth’ year, ’Tis the birth day that doth them annoy, Plumb-porrage and brawn,126 and the doe and the fawne, With the creature, they love to enjoy, They often have meetings, and then there’s such greetings, Such traceing° of sisters about, pursuing (tracing) They preach and they pray, but I must not now say What they do when their candles are out. Yet I cannot forbear, to tell in your ear What befell at a breaking of bread,° How a virgin full neat,° went thither to eat, But it cost her, her maiden-head; These men of high merit, though much for the spirit, Are yet for the flesh now and than, For a new babe of grace,° was got near the place, By a congregational man.127

communal meal pure

Puritan baby

The Dippers and Ranters,128 and our Scotch Covenanters, That bragge of their faith and their zeale, These abound in their fainings,129 but I’le make no complainings, Nor will I their secrets reveale, The poor Cavaliers, that still lives in fears Of prisons, and sequestration,° seizure of possessions Though they keep Christmasse day, are more honest than they, But honesty’s quite out of fashion. If you view our great cities, and our countrie committees, You will not find overmuch there, Our divines, though they preach it, themselves do scarce reach it; And our lawyers have little to spare. I could tell of some more, that have no great store, Of our gentry, both old and new,

126

Animal flesh, especially pig. A Puritan Independent (later called a Congregationalist). 128 Diggers, Dippers, Levellers, Quakers, Ranters, Seekers, etc. were radical Puritan sects of these years, all in conflict with the Church of England. The breakdown of religious uniformity was a major factor in their flourishing and influence. 129 Dissembling (feignings). 127

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But I think it is best, with edge tools not to jest,130 Nor to speak all we know to be true. But the poor Cavalier, as to mirthe and good cheere, But now bid Christmass adieu, If the taxes hold on,° their money will be gone, They will want both to bake and to brew, Their healths are put down, who adher’d to the Crown, ’Tis they that must fast and pray, For to any mans thinking, both their eating and drinking, Is like to be taken away.

continue

From The Great Leveller Petition of 11 September 1648131 To the Right Honovrable The Commons of England in Parliament Assembled. The Humble Petition of Thousands Wel-affected Persons Inhabiting the City of London, Westminster, the Borough of Southwark Hamblets, and Places Adjacent. Sheweth, That although we are as earnestly desirous of a safe and well-grounded peace, and that a final end were put to all the troubles and miseries of the Common-wealth, as any sort of men whatsoever: yet considering upon what grounds we engaged on your part in the late and present wars,132 and how far (by our so doing) we apprehend our selves concerned, give us leave (before you conclude as by the treaty in hand)133 to acquaint you first with the ground and reason which induced us to aid you against the King 130

That is, one should not play with dangerous things (a common saying). This is one of many petitions to Parliament presented by the Levellers, a movement which had considerable religious and political influence during the second half of the 1640s. It was signed by 40,000 people during the following few months and generated at least seventeen further petitions. 132 On 17 August 1648 Cromwell’s New Model Army defeated the combined English and Scottish Royalist forces at the Battle of Preston. But, to the Army’s dismay, Parliament reopened peace talks with Charles, leading to a treaty in favour of limited monarchy. The Levellers, who had petitioned Parliament on past occasions and given their support to the Army during the English Civil War, now saw their programme largely rebuffed. 133 The Treaty of Newport. This was Parliament’s final attempt to reach a negotiated settlement with the King, during discussions held at Newport on the Isle of Wight from 18 September to 27 November. 131

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and his adherents. Secondly, what our apprehensions are of this treaty. Thirdly, what we expected from you, and do still most earnestly desire. Be pleased therefore to understand, that we had not engaged on your part, but that we judged this honourable House to be the supreme authority of England, as chosen by, and representing the people; and entrusted with absolute power for redress of grievances and provision of safety: and that the King was but at the most the chief publike officer of this kingdom, and accomptable to this House (the representative of the people, from whom all just authority is, or ought to be derived) for discharge of his office: and if we had not bin confident hereof, we had bin desperately mad to have taken up armes or to have bin aiding and assisting in maintaining a war against him; the laws of the land making it expresly a crime no less than treason for any to raise war against the King. But when we considered the manifold oppressions brought upon the nation, by the King, his lords, and bishops; and that this honourable House declared their deep sense thereof; and that (for continuance of that power which had so opprest us) it was evident the King intended to raise forces, and to make war; and that if he did set up his standard,134 it tended to the dissolution of the government: upon this, knowing the safety of the people to be above law, and that to judge thereof appertained to the supreme authority, and not to the supreme magistrate,135 and being satisfied in our consciences, that the publike safety and freedom was in imminent danger, we concluded we had not only a just cause to maintain; but the supreme authority of the nation to justifie, defend, and indempnifie136 us in time to come, in what we should perform by direction thereof; though against the known law of the land, or any inferiour authority, though the highest. And at this our understanding was begotten in us by principles of right reason, so were we confirmed therein by your own proceedings, as by your condemning those judges who in the case of ship-money137 had declared the King to be judge of safety; and by your denying him to have a negative voice in the making of laws; where you wholly exclude the King from having any share in the supreme authority: then by your casting the

134

That is, take up arms (a “standard” being the distinctive ensign of a king, etc.). That is, the king. 136 Protect (indemnify). 137 Ship money, a non-parliamentary tax first levied in medieval times, was imposed once again by Charles in 1634, causing widespread discontent. When Sir John Hampden refused payment several years later, the case was taken before the Court of Exchequer, with seven of the twelve judges ruling against him. However, it was repealed by Parliament in August 1641. 135

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bishops out of the House of Lords,138 who by tradition also, had bin accounted an essential part of the supreme authority; and by your declaring to the Lords, that if they would not joyn with you in setling the militia,139 (which they long refused) you would settle it without them, which you could not justly have done, had they any real share140 in the supreme authority. * * * And when as most of the oppressions of the Common-wealth have in all times bin brought upon the people by the King and Lords, who nevertheless would be so equal in the supreme authority, as that there should be no redress of grievances, no provision for safety, but at their pleasure. For our parts, we profess our selves so far from judging this to be consistent with freedom or safety, that we know no greater cause. Wherefore we assisted you in the late wars, but in hope to be delivered by you from so intolerable, so destructive a bondage, so soon as you should (through Gods blessing upon the armies raised by you) be enabled. But to our exceeding grief, we have observed that no sooner God vouchsafeth you victory, and blesseth you with success, and thereby enableth you to put us and the whole nation into an absolute condition of freedom and safety; but according as ye have bin accustomed, passing by the ruine of the nation, and all the bloud that hath bin spilt by the King and his party, ye betake your selves to a treaty with him, thereby puting him that is but one single person, and a publike officer of the Common-wealth, in competiton with the whole body of the people, whom ye represent; not considering that it is impossible for you to erect any authority equall to your selves, and declared to all the world that you will not alter the ancient government, from that of the King, Lords, and Commons: not once mentioning (in case of difference) which of them is supreme, but leaving that point (which was the chiefest cause of all our publike differences, disturbances, wars, and miseries,) as uncertain as ever. 138

The Bishops Exclusion Bill, expelling the Anglican bishops from the House of Lords, was in direct response to their opposition to constitutional reform. It was reluctantly accepted by Charles and passed into law by both Houses in February 1642. 139 On the 5 March 1642 Parliament passed the Militia Bill as an ordinance (i.e. legislation that had not received royal assent), giving it control of the local militia or Trained Bands. In doing so, it took the unprecedented step of proclaiming the right to act independently of the King in terms of national defence. 140 That is, if they had had any real share.

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In so much as we who upon these grounds have laid out our selves every way to the uttermost of our abilities: and all others throughout the land, souldiers and others who have done the like in defence of your supreme authoritie, and in opposition to the King, cannot but deem our selves in the most dangerous condition of all others, left without all plea of indempnitie for what we have done;141 as already many have found by losse of their lives and liberties, either for things done or said against the King, the law of the land frequently taking place, and precedencie against and before your authoritie, which we esteemed supreme, and against which no law ought to be pleaded. Nor can we possibly conceive how any that have any waies assisted you can be exempt from the guilt of murderers and robbers, by the present laws in force, if you persist to disclaim the supreme authoritie, though their own consciences do acquit them, as having opposed none but manifest tyrants, oppressors and their adherents. * * * We professe we cannot chuse but stand amazed to consider the inevitable danger we shall be in, though all things in the propositions were agreed unto;142 the resolutions of the King and his party have been so perpetually violently and implacably prosecuted and manifested against us; and that with such scorn and indignation, that it must be more than such ordinary bonds that must hold them. And it is no lesse a wonder to us that you can place your own security therein, or that you can ever imagin to see a free parliament any more in England. The truth is (and we see we must either now speak it, or for ever be silent,) we have long expected things of an other nature from you, and such as we are confident would have given satisfaction to all serious

141

The three leading figures of the movement, John Lilburne, William Walwyn and Richard Overton, all spent time in prison, especially Lilburne who had earlier been pilloried and was eventually banished by Parliament in late January 1652. 142 At the heart of the proposals made by the Levellers in An Agreement of the People (October 1647) and elsewhere was the principle that legitimate authority could be created and sustained only by “the people.” Further that every freeman is entitled to franchise: that is, “one man, one vote.” However, it emerged at the General Council, chaired by General Cromwell and meeting at the time the manifesto appeared, that neither he nor the grandees (senior officers) of the army were prepared to adopt such a platform, at least not at the Leveller’s instigation. Hence the General Council was dissolved shortly thereafter.

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people of all parties. [There follows twenty-seven items, each beginning with “That you would have...”] * * * These and the like we have long time hoped you would have minded, and have made such an establishment for the general peace and contentful satisfaction of all sorts of people, as should have bin to the happines of all future generations, and which we most earnestly desire you would set your selves speedily to effect; whereby the almost dying honour of this most honourable House, would be again revived, and the hearts of your petitioners and all other well affected people, be a fresh renewed unto you, the freedom of the nation (now in perpetual hazard) would be firmly established, for which you would once more be so strengthened with the love of the people, that you should not need to cast your eies any other waies (under God) for your security: but if all this availeth nothing, God be our guide; for men sheweth us not a way for our preservation.

From Perfect Occurrences of Every Daie Iournall Num. 105 29 December-5 January, 1648 [9] Thursday 4 January. The Commons finished the great order for tryall of the King,143 and ordered it to be forthwith ingrosse.144 And then the House proceeded to a declaration concerning the legislative power, and how it is originally not to the King, nor Lords,145 but in the Commons. Jan. 4. 1641. The King came to seize the five members.146

143

This refers to a bill passed by the Rump Parliament (though not by the House of Lords) setting up what was described as a “High Court of Justice in Order to Try Charles I for High Treason.” 144 Written in a legal character (engrossed). 145 House of Lords. 146 For further information on the King’s attempted arrest of the five parliamentarians, see above, p. 294, n 21.

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From King Charls His Speech Made upon the Scaffold at Whitehall-Gate, Immediately Before His Execution, on Tuesday the 30 of Ian. 1648 [1649]147 About ten in the morning the King was brought from St. James’s, walking on foot through the Park, with a Regiment of Foot,148 part before and part behind him, with colours flying, drums beating, his private guard of partizans149 with some of his gentlemen before and some behind bareheaded, D. Juxon150 next behind him and Col. Thomlinson151 (who had the charge of him) talking with the King bareheaded from the Park, up the stairs into the Gallery,152 and so into the Cabinet-Chamber where he used to lie, where he continued at his devotion, refusing to dine, (having before taken the Sacrament)153 only about an hour before he came forth, he drank a glass of claret wine, and eat a piece of bread about twelve at noon. (It is observed the King desired to have the use of the Cabinet and the little room next it where there was a trap door.) From thence he was accompanied by Dr. Juxon, Col. Thomlinson and other officers formerly appointed to attend him and the private guard of partizans, with musketeers on each side, through the Banqueting House 147

On the 27 January 1649, the High Court of Justice found Charles guilty of high treason and sentenced him to death by beheading. Three days later he was led to the scaffold erected in front of the Banqueting House of the Palace of Whitehall, a place where he and his court had performed in many masques. Separated from the people by large ranks of soldiers, his last speech reached only those close by. The rest of the title-page reads: VVith a Relation of the Maner of His Going to Execution. (Published by Special Authority. London: Printed by Peter Cole, at the sign of the Printing-Press in Cornhil, near the Royal Exchange. 1649.) 148 Charles walked under guard from St. James’s Palace, where he had been confined, through St. James’s Park to the Palace of Whitehall, Westminster. 149 A devoted troop of foot-soldiers, possibly carrying long-handled spears with projecting blades called “partizans.” 150 Dr. William Juxon (1582-1663) was Bishop of London from 1633 to 1649 and Archbishop of Canterbury from 1660 until his death. 151 Matthew Thomlinson (1617-1681), a colonel of Horse in Cromwell’s New Model Army, took charge of Charles on 23 December 1648 until his execution, but declined to sit in court as his judge. Although one of the regicides, he was pardoned for showing courtesy to the King and for testifying against Daniel Axtell and Francis Hacker, officers in attendance at the execution. For further information, see below, p. 323, n. 154. 152 In Whitehall. 153 The Eucharist or Holy Communion. (Extreme Unction, or “the last rites,” was not considered by the Anglican Church as a sacrament of the Gospel.)

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adjoining to which the scaffold was erected between Whitehall Gate and the gate leading into the Gallery from St. James’s: the scaffold was hung round with black and the floor covered with black and the ax and block laid in the middle of the scaffold. There were divers companies of Foot, and troops of Horse placed on the one side of the scaffold towards KingsStreet and on the other side towards Charing Cross, and the multitudes of people that came to be spectators, very great. The King being come upon the scaffold, look’d very earnestly upon the block and ask’d Col. Hacker154 if there were no higher; and then spake thus (directing his speech chiefly to Col: Thomlinson). King. I shall be very little heard of anybody here, I shall therefore speak a word unto you here. Indeed I could hold my peace very well, if I did not think that holding my peace would make some men think that I did submit to the guilt as well as to the punishment. But I think it is my duty to God first and to my country for to clear myself both as an honest man and a good king, and a good Christian. I shall begin first with my innocence. In troth I think it not very needful for me to insist long upon this, for all the world knows that I never did begin a war with the two Houses of Parliament. And I call God to witness, to whom I must shortly make an account, that I never did intend for to encroach upon their privileges. They began upon me, it is the militia155 they began upon, they confest that the militia was mine, but they thought it fit for to have it from me. And, to be short, if any body will look to the dates of commissions, of their commissions and mine, and likewise to the declarations, will see clearly that they began these unhappy troubles, not I. So that as the guilt of these enormous crimes that are laid against me I hope in God that God will clear me of it, I will not, I am in charity. God forbid that I should lay it upon the two Houses of Parliament; there is no necessity of either, I hope that they are free of this guilt; for I do believe that ill instruments156 between them and me has been the chief cause of all this bloodshed; so that by way of speaking, as I finde my self clear of this, I hope (and pray God) that they 154

Francis Hacker (d. 1660), an officer held in great trust by Cromwell and his party, played a principal role in the trial and execution of Charles. As one of the regicides, he was impeached by the Parliamentary party in 1660, found guilty and executed at Tyburn shortly thereafter. 155 In the wake of the Irish uprising of October 1641, both King and Parliament agreed that an army was needed, though neither side trusted the other regarding its control. After months of conflict, Parliament issued the Militia Bill without royal assent. For further information, see above, p. 303, n. 69 and p. 319, n. 139. 156 Untrustworthy go-betweens.

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may too; yet for all this, God forbid that I should be so ill a Christian as not to say that Gods judgments are just upon me. Many times he does pay justice by an unjust sentence, that is ordinary; I will onely say this, that an unjust sentence (Strafford)157 that I suffered for to take effect, is punished now by an unjust sentence upon me; that is, so far as I have said, to shew you that I am an innocent man. Now for to shew you that I am a good Christian; I hope there is (pointing to Dr. Juxon) a good man that will bear me witness that I have forgiven all the world, and even those in particular that have been the chief causes of my death. Who they are, God knows, I do not desire to know, God forgive them. But this is not all, my charity must go further. I wish that they may repent, for indeed they have committed a great sin in that particular. I pray God, with St. Stephen,158 that this be not laid to their charge. Nay, not only so, but that they may take the right way to the peace of the kingdom, for my charity commands me not only to forgive particular men, but my charity commands me to endeavour to the last gasp the peace of the kingdom. So, sirs, I do wish with all my soul, and I do hope there is some here (turning to some gentlemen that wrote)159 that will carry it further, that they may endeavour the peace of the kingdom. Now, (sirs) I must show you both how you are out of the way and will put you in a way; first, you are out of the way, for certainly all the way you have ever had yet, as I could find by anything, is by way of conquest. Certainly this is an ill way, for conquest, (sirs) in my opinion, is never just, except that there be a good just cause, either for matter of wrong or just title, and then if you go beyond it, the first quarrel that you have to it, that makes it unjust at the end that was just at the first: but if it be only matter of conquest, there is a great robbery; as a pirat said to Alexander, that he was the great robber, he160 was but a petty robber:161 and so, sirs, I do think the 157 Referring to the execution of Thomas Wentworth, 1st Earl of Strafford, in 1641. For further information, see above, p. 291, n. 9. 158 Saint Stephen, according to the Acts of the Apostles, aroused the enmity of various synagogues by his teaching and was sentenced to be stoned to death. Traditionally he is invested with a crown of martyrdom. 159 A number of accounts of the execution, as well as being reported in contemporary newsbooks and similar publications, were also taken down by government recorders. 160 That is, the pirate. 161 In the City of God (chap. 4), St. Augustine tells the story of a pirate captured by Alexander the Great, who asked him how dare he molest the sea. “How dare you molest the whole world,” replied the pirate boldly. “Because I do it with a little ship, I am called a robber, while you who do it with a great fleet are called an emperor.”

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way that you are in, is much out of the way. Now sirs, for to put you in the way, believe it you will never do right, nor God will never prosper you, until you give God his due, the King his due (that is, my successors) and the people their due; I am as much for them as any of you: you must give God his due by regulating rightly His Church (according to the Scripture) which is now out of order. For to set you in a way particularly now I cannot, but onely this. A national synod162 freely called, freely debating among themselves, must settle this, when that every opinion is freely and clearly heard. For the King, indeed I will not, (then turning to a gentleman that touched the ax, said, Hurt not the ax, that may hurt me, meaning if he did blunt the edg)ʊfor the King, the laws of the land will clearly instruct you for that; therefore, because it concerns my own particular, I onely give you a touch of it. For the people. And truly I desire their liberty and freedom as much as any body whomsoever. But I must tell you, that their liberty and freedom, consists in having of government; those laws, by which their life and their goods may be most their own. It is not for having share in government (sirs) that is nothing pertaining to them. A subject and a soveraign are clean different things, and therefore until they do that, I mean, that you do put the people in that liberty as I say, certainly they will never enjoy themselves. Sirs, it was for this that now I am come here. If I would have given way to an arbitrary way, for to have all laws changed according to the power of the sword, I needed not to have come here; and therefore, I tell you, (and I pray God it be not laid to your charge) that I am the martyr of the people. Introth, sirs, I shall not hold you much longer, for I will only say thus to you. That in truth I could have desired some little time longer, because I would have put then that I have said in a little more order, and a little better digested than I have done. And, therefore, I hope that you will excuse me. I have delivered my conscience. I pray God, that you do take those courses that are best for the good of the kingdom and your own salvations. Dr. Juxon. Will Your Majesty (though it may be very well known Your Majesties affections to religion, yet it may be expected, that you should) say somewhat for the worlds satisfaction.

162

Assembly, general council.

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King. I thank you very heartily (my lord) for that, I had almost forgotten it. Introth, sirs, my conscience in religion, I think, is very well knowne to all the world; and, therefore, I declare before you all that I die a Christian, according to the profession of the Church of England, as I found it left me by my father. And this honest man (pointing to Dr. Juxon) I think will witness it. Then turning to the officers said, Sirs, excuse me for this same. I have a good cause, and I have a gracious God; I will say no more. Then turning to Colonel Hacker, he said, Take care that they do not put me to pain, and sir this, and it please you: But then a gentleman coming near the ax, the King said, Take heed of the ax. Pray take heed of the ax. Then the King, speaking to the executioner163 said, I shall say but very short prayers, and when I thrust out my hands . . . Then the King called to Dr. Juxon for his night-cap, and having put it on said to the executioner, Does my hair trouble you? Who desired him to put it all under his cap, which the King did accordingly, by the help of the executioner and the Bishop:164 then the King turning to Dr. Juxon said, I have a good cause, and a gracious God on my side. Dr. Juxon. There is but one stage more. This stage is turbulent and troublesome; it is a short one: But you may consider it will soon carry you a very great way; it will carry you from earth to heaven; and there you shall finde a great deal of cordial,165 joy, and comfort. King. I go from a corruptible, to an incorruptible crown; where no disturbance can be, no disturbance in the world. Dr. Juxon. You are exchanged from a temporal to an eternal crown; a good exchange. The King then said to the executioner, Is my hair well: then the King took off his cloak and his George,166 giving his George to Dr. Juxon, saying, Remember . . . (it is thought for to give it to the Prince.)167 Then the King put off his dublet and being in his wastecoat, put his cloak on 163

There is some debate about the identity of the executioner, who (like his assistant) was masked. The commissioners (i.e. judges) approached Richard Brandon, the common hangman of London, who publicly refused but may have accepted later. 164 Dr. Juxon. 165 Perhaps meaning “cordiality.” 166 The insignia of the Order of the Garter. 167 That is, the future Charles II, now in exile in The Hague.

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again;168 then looking upon the block, said to the executioner, You must set it fast. Executioner. It is fast sir. King. It might have been a little higher. Executioner. It can be no higher sir. King. When I put out my hands this way (stretching them out) then... After having said two or three words (as he stood) to himself with hands and eyes lift up. Immediately stooping down, laid his neck on the block: and then the executioner again putting his hair under his cap, the King said, Stay for the signe (thinking he had been going to strike). Executioner. Yes, I will, and it please Your Majesty. And after a very little pawse, the King stretching forth his hands, the executioner at one blow, severed his head from his body. That when the Kings head was cut off, the executioner held it up,169 and shewed it to the spectators. And his body was put in a coffin, covered with black velvet, for that purpose. The Kings body now lies in his Lodging Chamber at Whitehall.170 Sic transit gloria mundi.171

168

As the day was bitterly cold, Charles wore three garments not wishing his shivering to be mistaken for fear. 169 It is said that no cheer arose from the vast crowd but rather a low audible murmur. 170 Charles was buried shortly after in St. George’s Chapel, Windsor. 171 “Thus passes the glory of the world” (Latin).

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From The Man in the Moon172 (Numb. 12.) 27 June-4 July, 1649 A hot combate lately happened at the Salutation Tavern in Holburn;173 where some of the Common-wealths vermin, called souldiers had seized on an Amazonian viraga called Mrs Strosse, upon suspition of being a Loyalist, and selling The Man in the Moons book; but she by applying beaten pepper to their eyes; disarmed them; and (with their own swords) forced them to aske her forgiveness; and down on their mary-bones,174 and pledge a health to the King; and confusion of their masters the regicides;175 and so honorably dismissed them. O for 20000 such gallant spirits to pepper the roagues; you may see what valiant puppies your new kings be, when one woman can beat two or three of them.

From The Man in the Moon (Numb. 39) 16-23 January, 1650 The sad omens, apparitions, thunders, and monstrous births,176 lately seen in England, Scotland, and Ireland, are certainly as so many of Gods embassadours to proclaime open warres against us; as on Christmas Day, thunder and the falling of strange thunder-bolts in divers churches in England; the child (or rather angel) found in the field; the strange comet seene at Dublin in Ireland, and now lately in Scotland, the powder-blast on Tower-hill,177 are questionlesse so many warning-pieces to alarme us out of our dull security, and to arme us against these monsters of men that are now feeding upon our carkasses, devouring men, women and children.

172

This is a newsbook of obviously strong Loyalist leanings. Holborn was an area immediately west of the City along the old road from the Tower of London and Newgate prison to the gallows at Tyburn. 174 Knees (marrowbones). 175 The fifty-nine commissioners (judges) who signed Charles’s death warrant, though probably used here in a broader sense. 176 See above, p. 68, n. 1. 177 All Hallows-by-the-Tower, an ancient church on Tower Hill, was badly damaged on 4 January 1650 when some barrels of gunpowder, being stored nearby, exploded. 173

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From The Ranters Ranting178 Behold, Ye Despisers, Wonder and Perish. Upon the first day of November 1650 (towards evening) came one Shakespear (that called himself a warrenner), one Iohn Collins a glover,179 one Wyberton, and four others to the house of one Middleton, at the David and Harp180 in Moor Lane, in the parrish of Giles Creplegate,181 London, where some of them being known, they were soon admitted into the best room in the house, and entertained by the woman of the house, who long before was suspected to be one of the Ranting crue. When they had continued many hours in the house, and it grew something late in the evening, when the street was void of noises, and sober men prepared to go to bed, these people were heard to sing blasphemous songs in the tune of Davids Psalms,182 and many uncivil words and actions were perceived and heard to pass amongst them; which put it into hearts of some of the neighbours to acquaint the constable183 therewith; who being as desirous to suppress disorders, as willing to bring such wicked persons to condign184 punishment, he took some others with him to apprehend them; but to make the fuller discovery of this wicked pack, one that had some acquaintance 178

The Ranters (a term of opprobrium) were one of a number of nonconformist dissenting groups that became prominent during the early Commonwealth (16491653). With roots in the medieval Brethren of the Free Spirit, they believed that God was present in all living creatures and man free of sin and the law. Indeed they rejected the very notion of obedience, and thus were viewed as a threat to the stability of the government and of society. As this present pamphlet indicates, much of the material known about this loosely organized movement is provided by the writings of its enemies. The rest of the title-page reads: With the Apprehending, Examinations, and Confession of Iohn Collins, I. Shakespear, Tho. Wiberton, and Five More Which Are to Answer the Next Sessions...(London. Printed by B. Alsop, 1650.) Beneath the title is a woodcut depicting four scenes from the text (see illustration below, p. 385). 179 The occupations of some of the Ranters here and elsewhere suggest that they were largely recruited from the common people. A “warrener” can either be an officer employed to watch over game in a park, etc. or a servant in charge of a rabbit-warren. And a “glover” either makes or sells gloves. 180 A tavern, its name and sign perhaps being of significance here. 181 Cripplegate. 182 The biblical King David, who wrote psalms of praise to God and eschewed physical pleasures and luxuries. 183 An officer of the peace, usually appointed by the parish. 184 Fitting, deserving.

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with an active Ranter, went alone to the door where this wicked company were, and enquired of Iohn Collins that opened it, whether such a one were not amongst them? Who replied, he was not there yet, but was expected; asking him if he was of his acquaintance? To which the party answered, that he was: then Collins took him about the neck, and kissed him, saying, Welcome fellow creature.185 With this the party came into the room, where the like ceremony was offered by the rest (some women being also amongst them:) presently after, one of the men let his breeches slip down in the middle of the room, and another ran and kist his buttock, and called to the rest to come and kisse their god. And after the passing away of a little more time in blasphemous words and uncivil behaviour, a joynt of incat186 and some other things were brought and set upon the table, about which they flacked187 like bruit beasts, without any order, or sign of reverence; but on the contrary; one of them laid hold on the meat, and tearing it to pieces like a dog, both for himself and the rest of his fellow creatures, in a beastly manner he let a great fart, and as it gave report, he uttered these words, Let every thing that hath breath praise the Lord.188 In the middle of which profane and wicked words and behaviour, came in the constable and apprehended them, who thinking them to be given over to commit all manner of wickednesse, thought good to search their pockets, for fear they might have some dangerous weapons about them to do mischief, and in searching them, he found two written papers stufted with very blasphemous matter, which are not fit to be made publick, especially untill such time as they have received their tryall, when this was done the constable brought them downstairs into another room, and himself and others reproved them for their wickednesse, in the midst of which reproof, one of them, that were taken took a candle and made as though he did seek for something that he had lost, and being asked what he sought for, in a jeering and disdainfull manner he answered that he sought for his sins but there were none, and that which they thought so great unto him, was so small, that he could not see it,189 by which it appears that they hold forth an opinion, that sin is no sin, for which opinion an officer of the army was lately cashiered, and his sword broken over his head, at the head

185

A normal form of address among Ranters. Meat, particularly beef. 187 Flocked. 188 The meal takes the form of a pantheistic Eucharist. 189 This is the language of mystical antinomianism. 186

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of the regiment.190 But to return to that which I was relating before, the constable finding them desperately incorragible and hardened in their iniquity, carried the said Collins, Shakespear, and five others to the Compter191 (who had been accompanied by Mrs. Middleton herself, had she not privately made an escape). The next morning they were brought before Sir Iohn Wolaston,192 and charged with the matters before recited; as also that they had sung vile and filthy songs to the tune of Psalms, and uttered many oaths (or asseverations of oaths) and execrations: some of which were, Ram me, Dam me, &c.,193 and it being demanded of one of them what they meant by these words, he said by the word ram, they meant god: and many other things of this nature were confested by them: whereupon Sir Iohn sent them to Bridewell, where for a time they beat hemp;194 and are bound over to answer for their offences, according to law the next Sessions.195 Having given you the true relation of this meeting,196 with the manner of their discovery, and some passages concerning their examinations, I shall proceed to some other instances to shew the vanity197 of this mad crew (of which there be too many) for all pleasures which are not reduced to honesty and necessity are reproachfull and evill, and especially those two of touching and tasting, do draw men most to offend in vice and uncleannesse; and forasmuch as all occasions and opportunities, whereby the people are trained and drawn away to live dishonestly, shamelessly, wickedly, and intemperately are to be shunned and avoided, take in the 190

The army remorselessly suppressed Ranterism in its ranks, Cromwell himself cashiering an officer for denying that man could sin. Also see below, p. 334, n. 205. 191 The Poultry Compter (or Poultry Counter) was a small prison near Cheapside, controlled by a sheriff and used to house debtors, vagrants, petty thieves, etc. 192 Probably Sir John Wollaston (d. 1658), who was Lord Mayor of London (1644) and later an alderman of the City. 193 Such phrases are to be found in the writings of the Ranters, as for example in Laurence Clarkson’s A Single Eye All Light, No Darkness (1650). 194 Bridewell Prison and Hospital, located on the banks of the Fleet River in the City, was both a house of correction and a major charitable institution. Many of the prisoners by this time, however, were petty thieves and vagrants, their punishment regularly being public whippings or different kinds of hard labour, such as the beating of hemp. 195 John Collins and Thomas Reeve appeared at Sessions the following January at the Old Bailey, both receiving a sentence of six months’ imprisonment. 196 Several other similar accounts were also published, including The Arraignment and Tryall with a Declaration of the Ranters (1650). 197 Futility, worthlessness.

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next place some perticulers of another meeting which they had near Thames-street (not long before the act was made against blasphemy, and another act for whoredome, &c.).198 As soon as they came together they coupled men and women, choosing their mates, and when they had fitted themselves in that kind, there comes into the room a man with a pottle199 of sack, and a glasse in his hand uttering these words, viz. Where doth God want any wine to which presently answered one that had his minion on his knee, Here, here, at which words the glasse of sack was given him, and he drank to his fellow creature (as he called her) and so it went round. After this they fell to singing filthy songs and catches which are not fit to be published, yet, for satisfaction sake, I shal give one of their songs to the first scene, when they began to act upon the Devils stage, what every one pleased, according to the fulnesse of wickednesse in his own heart, which was taken at the window,200 and in truth, is the least offensive of any I have heard, otherwise I should have had more modesty, than to have made it publick. The song that was sung at the first meeting together of a company of Ranters: This is the merry meeting of The creatures set a part To exercise their liberty, And teach the mothers art. If Adam were deceiv’d by Eve, It was because he knew Not how to exercise the gifts Which Nature did indue.201 The slavish terrour that men have, And thoughts of hell to fear Is unto us a laughing stock, We give to it no ear. 198

Concerned at the spread of the doctrines of the Free Spirit, Parliament passed an act on 9 August 1650 for the “Punishment of Atheistical, Blasphemous and Execrable Opinions, derogatory to the honour of God.” It also covered “Whoredom, Adultery, Drunkenness or the like open Wickedness.” Following its enactment into law, there was even greater suppression of the Ranters. 199 A vessel which held two quarts or half a gallon. 200 That is, probably seen through a window. 201 Endow.

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Some men another world do prize Of which they have no measure, Let us make merry, sing, and dance, There is no heaven to pleasure. Which we injoy with sweet content A short life, and a merry, Is all the heaven that we expect, Let’s drink off our Canary.202 The fellow creature which sits next Is more delight to me Then any that I else can find; For that she’s alwaies free. Yet whil’st I speak of loving one, Let no mistaking come: For we that know our liberty, In loving all love none. But for to satisfie our lust And beastly appetite, Nor caring what we do or say, So we may take delight. Then let us rant it to the fill And let our love too range, For it hath wings, and they are freest That in their loves do change. * * *

202

A light sweet wine from the Canary Islands.

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From Mercurius Politicus203 Numb. 52. 29 May-5 June, 1651 Tuesday, June 3. Take another of the 27 of May from Edenburgh. A woman Ranter204 being brought before my Lord,205 when he had examined her before some of us, he told her she was so vile a creature, as he thought her unworthy to live, and committed her to the Marshal,206 she being wife to a lieutenant, till further order could be taken with her, according to her desert.

Upon the General Pardon Passed by the Rump207 Rejoyce, rejoyce, ye Cavaliers, For here comes that expells° your fears; A general pardon is now past, What was long look’d for, comes at last.

dispels

It pardons all that are undone; The Pope ne’re granted such a one: So long, so large, so full, so free; O what a gratious state have we!

203

Founded in 1650, this newsbook was Britain’s dominant publication for the next ten years, generally supplying high-quality news of both a domestic and foreign nature. 204 On Ranterism generally, see above, p. 329, n. 178. 205 Oliver Cromwell. It is significant that the Ranter was a lieutenant’s wife, the spread of Ranterism in the army being of serious concern to the government. Also see above, p. 331, n. 190. 206 The Marshalsea was an infamous prison located in Southwark. Although largely housing debtors at this time, religious and political figures were also among the inmates. 207 The Battle of Worcester (3 September 1651), in which Parliamentary forces defeated those of Charles II, was the final major military encounter of the English Civil War. Some months later Cromwell prevailed on Parliament to pass an Act of General Pardon and Oblivion that granted amnesty for all treasonous acts against the Commonwealth committed before 3 September 1651. Although meant to gain support, it provoked considerable hostility among the Royalists because many were excluded from the pardon. The poem is dated 1653.

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Yet do not joy too much (my friends) First see how well this pardon ends, For though it hath a glorious face, I fear there’s in’t but little grace. ’Tis said the mountains once brought forth, And what brought they? A mouse, introth;208 Our states have done the like, I doubt, In this their pardon now set out. We’ll look it o’re then if you please, And see wherein it brings us ease; And first, it pardons words I find Against our state, words are but wind. Hath any pray’d for th’ King of late? And wish’d confusion to our state? And call’d them rebells? He come in And plead this pardon for that sin. Hath any call’d King Charles that’s dead A martyr? He that lost his head? And villains those that did the fact? That man209 is pardon’d by this Act. Hath any said our Parliament Is such a one as God ne’re sent? Or hath he writ, or put in print That he believes the Devil’s in’t? Or hath he said there never were Such tyrants any where as here? Though this offence of his be high, He’s pardon’d for his blasphemy.

208

“The Mountain in Labour” is from Aesop’s Fables, which refers to acts that promise much but deliver little. 209 That is, all of the regicides and those in any way involved in Charles’s execution.

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You see how large this pardon is, It pardons all our mercuries,210 And poets too, for you know they Are poor, and have not ought° to pay.

aught

For where there’s money to be got, I find this pardon pardons not; Malignants211 that were rich before, Shall not be pardon’d till they’r poor. Hath any one been true to th’ Crown, And for that paid his money down; By this new Act he shall be free, And pardon’d for his loyalty. Who have their lands confiscate quite, For not compounding212 when they might; If that they know not how to digg, This pardon gives them leave to beg. Before this Act came out in print, We thought there had been comfort in’t; We drank some healths to th’ higher powers, But now we’ve seen’t they’d need drink ours. For by this Act it is thought fit That no man shall have benefit, Unlesse he first engage to be A rebel to eternity. Thus in this pardon it is clear, That nothing’s here, and nothing’s there; I think our states do mean to choke us With this new Act of hocus pocus.213

210

Newsbooks and, by extension, the producers and distributors of them. A term specifically applied at this time by supporters of Parliament and the Commonwealth to their adversaries. 212 Settling claims or other matters, perhaps by partial payment. 213 Trickery, deception (derived from the sham Latin formula used by conjurors and jugglers). 211

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Well, since this Act’s not worth a pin, We’ll pray our states to call it in, For most men think it ought to be Burnt by the hand of Gregory.214 Then to conclude, here’s little joy For those that pray Vive le Roy:° But since they’l not forget our crimes, Wee’l keep our mirth° till better times.

“Long live the King” (French) rejoicing

Oliver Cromwell’s Speech Dissolving the Rump of the Long Parliament215 It is high time for me to put an end to your sitting in this place, which you have dishonoured by your contempt of all virtue, and defiled by your practice of every vice; ye are a factious crew, and enemies to all good government; ye are a pack of mercenary wretches, and would like Esau sell your country for a mess of pottage,216 and like Judas betray your God for a few pieces of money.217 Is there a single virtue now remaining amongst you? Is there one vice you do not possess? Ye have no more religion than my horse; gold is your God; which of you have not barter’d your conscience for bribes? Is there a man amongst you that has the least care for the good of the Commonwealth? Ye sordid prostitutes have you not defil’d this sacred place, and turn’d 214

Gregory XIII (1502-1585) was pope from 1572 until his death. He is best known for his reform of the calendar (called the Gregorian calendar), but also for his hostility towards Protestantism and his attempts to dethrone Queen Elizabeth. 215 On the morning of 20 April 1653, Cromwell led a company of musketeers to the House of Commons. After securing the approaches, he addressed its members, calmly at first but then with rising anger, telling them their sitting was permanently over and that they must leave. After the musketeers had driven them out, the doors were sealed, with a wit pinning up the following notice outside: “This House is to be let: now unfurnished.” The speech does not survive, but it has often been paraphrased, much as presented here. 216 Genesis 25:34: “Then Jacob gave Esau bread and pottage of lentiles; and he did eat and drink, and rose up, and went his way: thus Esau despised his birthright.” 217 Matthew 26: 14-26: “Then one of the twelve, called Judas Iscariot, went unto the chief priests, and said, ‘What will ye give me, and I will deliver him unto you?’ And they covenanted with him for thirty pieces of silver. And from that time he sought opportunity to betray him.”

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the Lord’s temple into a den of thieves, by your immoral principles and wicked practices? Ye are grown intolerably odious to the whole nation; you were deputed here by the people to get grievances redress’d, are yourselves gone. So! Take away that shining bauble218 there, and lock up the doors. In the name of God, go!

From Mercurius Politicus Numb. 246 22 February-1 March, 1654 [5] Feb 26. Divers Quakers having been apprehended as they were roving about the country in Leicestershire,219 and among them one Fox,220 a principal leader of that phrenick party, they are brought up hither, and detained in custody. It hath been observed, that in the said county, there have been of late many meetings of those people, called Quakers, Ranters, and others, which are dispersed by some of our Horse.221 This Fox being brought to Whitehal,222 had divers followers, poor silly melancholly people, and among the rest, a woman in mean habit, who pretended she had fasted ten days together, and resolved not to eat, till she had uttered a message, which she said she had from heaven to deliver to some body, but whom she would not name.

218

The mace that lies in the centre of the House of Commons when in session. Leicestershire, which takes its name from the City of Leicester, is a county in the English Midlands. 220 George Fox (1624-1691), the son of a Leicestershire weaver, was the founder of the Religious Society of Friends, commonly known as Friends or Quakers. He travelled throughout Britain as a dissenting preacher, frequently suffering persecution and with his preaching sometimes being confused with the teachings of Ranterism and other radical religious groups. His movement was to outlive all of them, however, as its numbers rapidly increased during the 1650s and became better organized. Fox even came to hope that, in time, it would become the major religion of the kingdom. 221 Cavalry. 222 Fox was arrested at Whetstone, Leicestershire and taken to London under armed guard. Later he met Cromwell at Whitehall Palace, which was shortly to become the Lord Protector’s official residence. 219

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From The Weekly Intelligencer of the Common-Wealth223 Numb. 2 21-28 August, [1655] Friday, August 24. There are many ships now under sail for Virginia, in which are many female passengers, who during the aboad224 of the lusty Cavaliers in this city, and the suburbs of it, are said to have been ladies of pleasure, but it is known that Ireland or Virginia, can make them honest again, and either by a pardoning silence, or by the indisputable necessity, and importunity of Nature, or by the candor of some nobler belief, they are able at any time to recover their crazy, or most debauched reputation.

Cromwell’s Coronation225 Oliver, Oliver, take up thy crown, For now thou hast made three kingdoms thine own;226 Call thee a conclave of thy own creation, To ride us to ruine, who dare thee oppose: Whilst we thy good people are at thy devotion, To fall down and worship thy terrible nose.227 To thee and thy mermydons,228 Oliver, we, Do tender our homage as fits thy degree, We’ll pay the excise and taxes, God blesse us, With fear and contrition, as penitents should,

223

A few months after the publication of this issue, Mercurius Politicus gained a monopoly of licensed newsbooks. It lasted until April 1659, when another pamphlet war broke out. 224 Stay (abode). 225 At the end of March 1657, Parliament (in its reduced form) presented Cromwell with what was called the Humble Petition and Advice, offering him the Crown. After agonizing over the matter for five weeks, he turned it down—a title that would have passed to his eldest son upon his death. 226 In the spring of 1653, with the surrender of the last Irish and Royalist forces at Cloughton, County Cavan, Ireland was merged into the Commonwealth of England, Scotland and Ireland. 227 There was considerable satire during the 1650s, both in words and visual imagery, directed at Cromwell’s “snout.” 228 Hirelings, base attendants (myrmidons).

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Whilst you, great sir, vouchsafe to oppresse us, Not daring so much as in private to scold. We bow down, as cow’d down, to thee and thy sword, For now thou hast made thy self Englands sole lord,229 By mandate of Scripture, and heavenly warrant, The oath of allegiance,230 and covenant too;231 To Charles and his kingdoms thou art heir apparent, And born to rule over the Turk and the Jew. Then Oliver, Oliver, get up and ride, Whilst lords, knights, and gentry do run by thy side; The maulsters and brewers account it their glory, Great god of the grain-tub’s compared to thee: All rebells of old are lost in their story, Till thou plod’st along to the Padington-tree.232

The Cameronian Cat233 There was a Cameronian cat234 Was hunting for a prey, And in the house she catch’d a mouse Upon the Sabbath-day.°

Sunday, “the Lord’s Day”

The Whig,235 being offended At such an act profane,

229

On 16 December 1653, Cromwell was sworn in as Lord Protector for life. On his refusal to take the oath of allegiance to Cromwell on 13 July 1657, English army leader John Lambert was ordered to resign his commissions. 231 With the defeat of Charles’s forces at the Battle of Worcester (1651) and the English occupation of Lowland Scotland, the authority of the Covenanters was all but destroyed. 232 The Tyburn gallows, near present-day Marble Arch. 233 A popular song with the Cavaliers during the Commonwealth, usually set to a psalm tune in mock imitation of the style and manner of the officer leading the congregational singing at a Presbyterian church. There are several later versions of the poem, sometimes called “The Presbyterian Cat.” 234 A cat belonging to the household of a Scottish Presbyterian. (Richard Cameron [1648?-1680] was a leader of the militant Presbyterians, known as Covenanters.) 235 A name given to adherents of the Presbyterian cause at this time. 230

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Laid by his book, the cat he took, And bound her in a chain. Thou damn’d, thou cursed creature, This deed so dark with thee, Think’st thou to bring to hell below My holy wife and me? Assure thyself that for the deed Thou blood for blood shalt pay, For killing of the Lord’s own mouse Upon the Sabbath-day. The Presbyter laid by the book, And earnestly he pray’d That the great sin the cat had done Might not on him be laid. And straight to execution Poor pussy she was drawn, And high hang’d up upon a tree— The preacher sung a psalm. And when the work was ended, They thought the cat near dead; She gave a paw, and then a mew, And stretched out her head. Thy name, said he, shall certainly A beacon still remain, A terror unto evil ones For evermore. Amen.

From Mercurius Politicus Numb. 571. 9-16 June, 1659 Whitehall, June 15.

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From Scotland also its written that General Monck236 and the army there, are confirmed in their resolutions to adhere to the Parliament. Also, that Charls Stuart hath lately had an agent at work in the Highlands, in design to create new troubles by stirring up the old enemy, some few of the forward malcontents of that party got together, in hope to have inflamed the rest to an insurrection, but they were quickly prevented, and forced to hide themselves, by a party of our owne sent from the next garrison to suppress them.

A Letter from Generall Monck, November the 12th [1659]237 [ornament] To the Lord Mayor, Allen,238 Court of Aldermen, and CommonCouncil of the City of London. Right Honourable, Pon239 the first notice I had of the late force put upon the Parliament,240 I directed a letter to you, to acquaint you, that my resolutions, were according to my duty, to stand by them, and to endeavour their reestablishment; though with the hazard of whatsoever was dear to me: and 236

George Monck, 1st Duke of Albemarle (1608-1670), was an English soldier, politician and key figure in Charles II’s restoration. He was also a close ally of Cromwell, appointed by him as governor of Scotland and commander of its army. In the months following the Lord Protector’s death, true to character, he remained cautious and watchful, courted in turn by various individuals and parties including Charles himself. 237 The rest of the letter’s title-page reads: Directed (and Delivered) to the Lord Maior, Court of Aldermen, and Common-Council of the City of London: Inviting Them and All True English-men, to Give Him Assistance in His Cordial Undertakings for the Redemption of the Liberties of the People of England. (Printed in the Year 1659.) For information on General Monck, see footnote above. 238 Sir Thomas Allen, 1st Baronet (c. 1633-1690), English grocer and politician, was the Lord Mayor who welcomed Charles into the City on 29 May 1660 after his long exile. He was knighted during the King’s visit and two weeks later created a baronet. 239 Upon. Set before the first five lines is the block letter “G,” presumably for “George.” 240 On 13 October 1659, Lambert (with the London militia and Fleetwood’s assistance) caused the doors of Parliament to be locked and its members kept out by armed guards. A few days later a new Committee of Safety was appointed to run the country, with Fleetwood as general of all the forces in England and Scotland and Lambert his second in command.

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that the army under my command was very cordial241 and unanimous in that undertaking; but that letter comming to a mischance, I have at the desire, and with the concurrence of the officers here, again written to you, to let you know that, we are still constant to our first resolutions, in which we are the more confirmed since we have been informed that the authours of that force, have proceeded so far as to null, and make void acts of Parliament, (which the King when he was at the highest, never pretended to doe, and which no true English man can endure to see done by any but Parliaments themselves), and are now contriving by their own power and authourity to set up a new government over the three nations: if this be suffered I know not to what purpose all this bloud hath been spilt, all this treasure spent, and all those engagements made. We must take upon our selves the guilt of all, and look upon this slavery we have brought upon our selves, as a judgement upon us for our murder, rapines and perjuries: I take God to witnesse I have no other end, then to restore the Parliament to it’s former freedome and authourity, and the people to their just rights and liberties, in which I am sure I cannot want your assistance. It is not the desire of any here that those which truly fear God should be hindered of their liberty to worship Him according to their several perswasions or that the congregated churches should be abridged of any priviledges and freedomes they have bin used to enjoy, or even to claim; there are many members of those churches with us, which can give this testimony; yet we could be content that some men would not under pretence of maintaining that liberty, endeavour the overthrow of the national ministrie, and by consequence leave the greatest part of the people to utter ignorance and athisme; however this is not the thing for which we at present contend, we shall leave this and all other things to the Parliament, the confessed supream judicature of the nation, but for the defence of that we are all resolved to venture to the utmost. If this good cause shal miscarry in my hands through want of your timely assistance, it will be too late for you to endeavour to support it with your own strength, and if it prosper, it will be dishonourable for a city so famous, and so much concerned, that its liberties should be asserted without its own help: I know you are so sensible of the interest of Gods people, the rights of the whole nation, and of your own charter (which cannot be safe in the hands of these overturners, and which hath been already indirectly threatned by them) that you will not be wanting to that opportunity which God hath put into your hands: but now while their army is waiting upon me in the north, use your utmost endeavours in the south, and therefore I shall need to use no 241

Warm and hearty.

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other perswasion to English men, and men that have engaged along in the same cause: but shall pray to God to unite your hearts, and strengthen your hands in this good work, and remain, Your Lordships very humble servant George Monck. Edinburgh, 12 Novemb. 1659.242

On the Kings Returne243 Long have we waited for a happy end Of all our miseries and strife; But still in vain the swordmen did intend, To make them hold for tearm of life. That our distempers° might be made, Their everlasting lively-hood and trade.

ills, troubles

They entayle their swords and guns, And pay, which wounded more; Upon their daughters and their sons, Thereby to keep us ever poor. And when the Civil Wars were past244 They civil government envade, To make our taxes, and our slavery last, Both to their titles and their trade. But now we are redeem’d from all, By our indulgent° King; 242

ready to show leniency or favour

It was only after Lambert and Fleetwood expelled Parliament that Monck declared his position, marching south against the formers’ forces with a smaller yet superior army. In the end, as Monck slowly made his way to London, the enemy melted away and he entered the capital unopposed on 3 February 1660. 243 One of the most popular of many poems welcoming Charles II’s return to England, who was received in London to public acclaim on 29 May 1660, his thirtieth birthday. Composed by Alexander Brome (1620-1666) for the occasion, it was probably first printed in his Songs and Poems of 1661. 244 The Battle of Worcester on 3 September 1651, between Charles’s Royalist force and Cromwell’s Parliamentarians, was the final major military encounter of the English Civil War.

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Whose coming does prevent our fall, With loyal and with joyful hearts we’l sing. Chorus. Welcome, welcome, royal May, Welcome long desired spring. Many springs and Mays we’ve seen Have brought forth what’s gay and green. But none is like this glorious day Which brings forth our gracious King.

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In September 1642, Parliament ordered the closure of London’s theatres, though it was mainly through the protection and patronage of the court that they had survived this long. So the new law, supported alike by city magistrates and Puritan preachers, would probably have come as no surprise to those concerned. Yet the ban was not as clear-cut as might appear, being interpreted by many players and others as only temporary and for purposes of national emergencies. Hence it was often ignored, despite further orders “for the putting downe of stage-plays,” with irregular performances still continuing over the next number of years. However, early 1648 brought a tougher ordinance, making the theatre closure permanent and threatening any actors flouting it with fines, whippings and imprisonment. But flout it they did, resulting in soldiers raiding the four remaining playhouses a year later, arresting actors at the Fortune theatre and dismantling the stage and other parts of its interior. Nevertheless, a furtive theatrical life managed to survive, with performances presented at private social gatherings, the inns of court, taverns and fairs, and (if several contemporary accounts are to be believed) at the universities. Although the Puritan authorities did not forbid the sale of printed plays, police harassment of public playhouses persisted throughout the 1650s, in one case with several actors being wounded in scuffles and lords and gentlemen in the audience having their cloaks and swords confiscated. As a result, the theatre was forced in two opposing directions, a process that gained momentum during the years of the Protectorate. More sophisticated entertainment was occasionally staged privately, at such places as Charles Gibbons’s Tennis Court near Lincoln’s Inn. But it was always at considerable risk, one of Thomas Killigrew’s plays in early 1653 being interrupted by soldiers and Gibbons himself arrested. As the decade advanced, however, playwrights such as Richard Flecknoe and Sir William Davenant contemplated a kind of “reformed stage,” which, while being morally and politically acceptable to the Puritan regime, would appeal to both popular and elite audiences. Court masques and continental operas, fusing dramatic narrative with song and dance somewhat in imitation of the ancient Greeks, seemed to point the way, with Flecknoe

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travelling to Italy for such purposes. Hence, some modest progress was made over the next few years, Flecknoe producing his elaborate Ariadne Deserted by Theseus (1654) and Davenant his high-profile venture, The First Dayes Entertainment at Rutland House in May 1656. But Cromwell’s death in the autumn of 1658 checked these developments, with Richard, the new Lord Protector, and his Council immediately investigating “the acting of stage-plays” in the city, invariably prompting further attacks on the theatre. In terms of more popular drama, a new shorter form of dramatic performance appeared, called interludes or “drolls.” It can hardly be considered a literary genre, at least in the same sense as a morality or masque, partly because of its variegated character and partly because the term was so broadly and loosely used. Although no single definition therefore seems entirely adequate (different contradictions becoming immediately apparent), drolls may be said to be short sketches or playlets, both comic and non-comic, simple in plot and language (though rhetorical and bombastic on occasion), limited in cast and easily staged. With roots lying in medieval drama and folk entertainment, the majority of them were either direct reworkings of Elizabethan jigs or abridgements from PreCommonwealth drama. Partly in an attempt to circumvent the law and confuse officialdom, drolls were presented with other types of popular fare, including acrobatic routines, puppet-plays, horn-dancing, performing animals and the exhibiting of human “monsters.” As well as sharing features with some of these “diversions” (puppet-plays probably being one of their sources), they competed directly with them for audience attention, whether on street corners, in taverns, or the many open spaces about the city. However, the great London fairs, with their vast crowds and festive spirit, brought together the widest assortment of entertainers, attracting them from all over the country and even from abroad. Mounted on their temporary scaffolds, drolls soon became part of the contemporary cultural scene and thus were largely ignored by the authorities. Another favourite place for their staging was at the Red Bull theatre in the city’s northern suburbs. In a state of gradual decline, it had catered since the early 1630s to a largely plebeian audience. But with the other three playhouses closed, the gentry had increasingly found their way there, obviously enjoying many of the spectacles available. John Evelyn, for example, notes in his diary that he was highly impressed by the agility of a Turkish rope-dancer and fascinated by a “hairy maid” from Germany, sporting a full beard and moustache.

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The most famous drolls actor at the Red Bull in the early 1650s was Robert Cox. Probably a “stroller” or country player before coming to London when the theatres were suppressed, he took the leading role in several skits which he had apparently put together himself. About the time of his death in December 1655, four of these were published collectively under the title (from the initial piece) Actæon and Diana. A second edition, dated 1656, kept the same preface by Cox but with a new titlepage and one of his best-known farces appended, called Simpleton the Smith. Despite the scarcity of surviving droll texts, this modest collection not only reflects the growing popularity of this diverse dramatic form but firmly established its presence in Commonwealth literature. The first edition of Actæon and Diana was brought out by the printer and bookseller Thomas Newcomb, the second by Edward Archer. Yet it was two other publishers, Henry Marsh and Francis Kirkman, who became Cox’s literary successors. In 1661 they jointly issued the highly popular Bottom the Weaver, a droll composed and printed years before from the comic scenes of Shakespeare’s Midsummer Night’s Dream. Its preface announced their intention to publish similar pieces, a collection appearing almost a year later entitled The Wits, or, Sport upon Sport. Incorporating most of the Actæon and Diana “merriments,” its preface was signed only by Marsh, suggesting a breach between the two men that may well have lasted until Marsh’s death in 1665. Kirkman then took over the publishing business, reissuing the edition in 1672 (though replacing Marsh’s name in the preface with his own), and twice producing a second and final part the following year.1 This important two-volume collection, which is thought to have been almost entirely the work of Kirkman, ran through many editions during the remaining decades of the century and became our primary source of Commonwealth drolls. Although Kirkman in the preface to The Wits (Part II) praises Cox as “the contriver and author of most of these farces,” referring specifically to John Swabber, Simpleton and others, caution must be exercised about their authorship. For example, there is ample evidence for the appearance of two jigs, Simpkin and The Black Man, prior to 1620. And as for the abridgement of pre-Commonwealth full-length plays, Kirkman himself most probably turned to his own extensive collection, drawing particularly on familiar scenes from the dramatic works of Beaumont and Fletcher, Ben Jonson and Shakespeare. 1

The Wits, Parts I and II, was edited by John James Elson in 1932 for Cornell University Press. Both texts and notes of this edition have been invaluable in the preparation of the present section.

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Finally, it is almost impossible to say how many drolls were actually meant to be performed, there being no evidence that several of the more rhetorical, non-comic pieces, like Venus and Adonis and Philetis and Constantia, ever appeared on stage. It has been suggested, in fact, that most of the abridgements were made primarily for reading. Yet, in turning to the title of the second part of The Wits, Kirkman introduces the work grandly by referring to it as A Curious Collection of Several Drols and Farces, Presented and Shewn for the Merriment and Delight of Wise Men, and the Ignorant: As They Have Been Sundry Times Acted in Publique, and Private, in London at Bartholomew. In the Countrey at Other Faires. In Halls and Taverns. On Several Mountebancks Stages, at Charing Cross, Lincolns-Inn-Fields, and Other Places. By Several Stroleing Players, Fools, and Fidlers, and the Mountebancks Zanies. With Loud Laughter, and Great Applause. This would seem to be a fitting description not only of the content and purpose of drolls generally, but also of their contemporary success.

The Doctors of Dull-Head Colledge2 Argument.3 A love-sick gentleman, by the over-curious4 care of his kindred, is perplexed with unnecessary physitians, who are by some of his merry visitants and companions baffled,5 and he released from their vexation. [Enter Doctors with a urinal.] I Physitian A pleurisie,6 I see it. 2 Physitian I rather hold for tremor cordis.7 3 Physitian Do you mark the fæces?

2

The source is John Fletcher’s play Monsieur Thomas (or Father’s Own Son), which was probably written between 1610 and 1616, though not published until 1639. Two of its scenes were brought together here (the end of II.iii [iv in some editions] and the beginning of III.i) to form a continuous episode. In the process, certain passages were omitted and minor changes made. The droll’s title is presumably a pun on the name of Dulwich College, a famous boys’ school founded by the actor Edward Alleyn (1566-1626). 3 As with the play (though untypical of drolls), no list of characters is provided. 4 Overly careful or attentive. 5 Subjected to disgrace, vilified. 6 A disease characterized by loss of appetite, fever, etc. 7 Involuntary agitation of the body or limbs (sometimes called “shaking palsy”).

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2 Physitian ’Tis a most pestilent contagious feaver, a surfet, a plaguy surfet: he must bleed. I Physitian By no means. 3 Physitian I say, bleed. I Physitian I say ’tis dangerous, the person being spent so much beforehand, and nature drawn so low: clysters,8 cool clysters. 2 Physitian Now, with your favour, I should think a vomit; for take away the cause, the effect must follow: the stomack’s foul and fur’d,9 the pot’s10 inflam’d yet.11 [Enter servant.] Servant Will it please you draw near? The sick gentleman grows worse and worse still. I Physitian We will attend him. 2 Physitian He shall do well, my friend. Servant My masters love, sir. 3 Physitian There’s no doubt in him, none at all, never fear him. [Enter Frank sick, Physitians, an Apothecary.]12 [Exeunt.] I Physitian Clap on the cataplasm.13 Frank Good gentlemen, good learned gentlemen. 2 Physitian And see those broths there ready within this hour: pray keep your arms in; the air is raw, and ministers much evil. Frank Pray leave me, I beseech you leave me, gentlemen, I have no other sickness but your presence; convey your cataplasms to those that need ’em, your vomits and your clysters. 3 Pysitian Pray be rul’d, sir. I Physitian Bring in the lettice cap;14 you must be shav’d, sir, and then how suddenly we’ll make you sleep! Frank Till Dooms-day: What unnecessary nothings are these about a wounded mind? 2 Physitian How do ye?

8

A procedure in which medicine is injected into the rectum, an enema. Coated or clogged with morbid matter. 10 Stomach. 11 The next two lines in the play, spoken by the third physician, have been omitted, as was the first physician’s response to the servant a few lines further along. 12 An apothecary prepared and sold drugs for medicinal purposes. This marks the beginning of Act III, Scene i in the play. 13 A plaster made of ointments, herbs, flour, etc., a poultice. 14 A cap made of whitish gray fur, worn as a means of inducing sleep. 9

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Frank What questions they propound15 too! How do you, sir? I am glad to see you well. 3 Physitian A great distemper,16 it grows hotter still. I Physitian Open your mouth, I pray, sir. Frank Can you tell me how old I am then? There’s my hand, pray shew me how many broken shins within this two year. Who would be thus in fetters? Good master doctor, and you dear doctor, and the third sweet doctor, and as pretious master apothecary, I do pray you to give me leave to live a little longer: ye stand before me like my blacks.17 [Enter his comrades.] Thomas How dost thou Frank? Bear up, boy; what, shrink i’th’ sinews for a little sickness?18 Frank Thou art a mad companion, never staid,19 Tom? Thomas Let rogues be staid, that have no habitation, a gentleman may wander: sit thee down, Frank, and see what I have brought thee: come, discover,20 open the scene, and let the work appear: a friend at need, you rogue, is worth a million. Frank What has thou there, a julip?21 Hylas He must not touch it, ’tis present death. Thomas You are an ass, a twir-pipe, a Jeffery-John-bo-peep: thou minister?22 Thou mend a left-handed pack-saddle; out puppy.23 My friend Frank, but a very foolish fellow: dost thou see that bottle? View it well. Frank I do, Tom. Thomas There be as many lives in’t as a cat carries, ’tis ever-lasting liquor. Frank What? 15

Put forth. A disordered condition of the body or mind (caused, according to medieval physiology, by disturbance in the bodily humours). 17 Mourning clothes. Two lines in the play, spoken by the third physician, and a complete episode, during which the physicians depart, have been omitted here. 18 A brief exchange in the play which follows between Thomas and Frank has been omitted, making the next line by the latter character less meaningful. 19 Settled in character, free from flightiness or caprice. There is some quibbling here on Frank’s part that is perhaps not understood by Thomas. 20 The following stage direction in the play has been omitted: Draws out a bottle. 21 A sweet syrupy drink to which medicine can be added (julep). 22 Administer, contribute to something. 23 A series of mock abusive terms, “twire-pipe” being a contemptuous name for a musical pipe and “Jeffery-John-bo-peep” referring to a person who sheepishly peeps out for a moment, then suddenly withdraws. 16

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Thomas Old sack,24 boy, old reverend sack.25 Frank I see no harm, Tom, drink with moderation. Tom Drink’t with sugar, which I have ready here; and here’s a glass, boy, fill it: hang up your julips, and your Portugal-possets,26 your Barley-broths, and sorrel sops;27 they are mangy,28 and breed the scratches29 onely: give me sack: have at thee.30 Frank Do; I’ll pledge thee. Thomas Take it off thrice, and then cry, Heigh! like a huntsman, with a clear heart, and no more fits I’ll warrant thee; the onely cordial, Frank.31 I Physitian Are the things ready? Servant Long since, sir. I Physitian Bring out the oyls then. Frank Now or never, gentlemen, do me a kindness, and deliver me. Thomas From whom, boy? Frank From those things that talk there, physitians, Tom, physitians, scouring-sticks;32 they mean to read upon me.33 Thomas And be thou confident we will deliver thee: for look ye, doctors, say the Devil were sick now, his horns saw’d off, and his head bound with a biggin,34 sick of a calenture,35 taken by a surfet of stinking 24 Sweet wine, traditionally imported from Spain and the Canaries. It has been suggested that “old reverend sack” alludes to the grand elixir of the alchemists, which they claimed would restore youth, etc. 25 As the scene develops, a number of lines in the play have been omitted. Although some are irrelevant to the droll, others result in a certain loss of coherence. 26 A drink composed of hot milk curdled with wine, etc., used both as a delicacy and remedy. 27 A sour tasting liquid made from the sorrel plant (sometimes referred to as a sort of sorrel tea), and regarded as having medicinal benefits. 28 Mange, a dirty, scabby condition of the skin in hairy or woolly animals, but also used as a term of general contempt: beggarly, “lousy.” 29 That is, the medications being ridiculed here merely cause itching. 30 Similar to the salute “Here’s to you!” or “Your health!” 31 A stage direction in the play (Physicians and servants within) and Hylas’s introductory line (“Let ’em come in") have been omitted. 32 Devices for purging the bowels or cleaning the anus after a bowel movement. 33 That is, they intend to examine and study me. The following stage direction in the play has been omitted: Enter three Physicians, Apothecary, and Barber. 34 A child’s cap. Frank’s friends now proceed to rout the physicians, using their own clever and bewildering medical jargon. 35 Fever.

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souls, at his nephews and S. Dunstans,36 what would you minister upon the sudden?37 Your judgement, short and sound. I Physitian A fools head. Thomas No sir, it must be a physitians, for three causes; the first, because it is a bald-head likely, which will down easily without applepap. 3 Physitian A main cause. Thomas So it is, and well considered. The second, for ’tis fill’d with broken Greek, sir, which so tumbles in his stomach, doctor, and works upon the crudities,38 conceive me,39 the fears and the fiddle-strings within it, that those damned souls must disembogue40 again. Hylas Or meeting with the Stygian41 humour.42 Thomas Right, sir. Hylas Forc’d with a cataplasm of crackers.43 Thomas Ever. Hylas Scowre all before him like a scavinger. Thomas Satisfecisti Domine.44 My last cause, my last is, and not least, most learned doctors, because in most physitians heads (I mean those that are most excellent, and old withall, and angry, though a patient say his prayers, and Paracelsians45 that do trade with poisons, we have it by tradition of great writers) there is a kinde of toadstone bred,46 whose vertue the doctor, being dry’d. I Physitian We are abus’d, sirs. Hylas I take it so, or shall be: for say, the belly-ach caused by an inundation of pease-porridge, are we therefore to open the port-vein, or

36

In the play it reads: “at his nephew’s at St. Dunstan’s.” Suddenly, on the spur of the moment. 38 Undigested or indigestible matter in the stomach. 39 Understand me, take my meaning. 40 Discharge. 41 Pertaining to the river Styx, hellish. 42 In the play a series of interruptions by different characters begins at this point here, but they have been omitted here. 43 Fireworks. 44 “I have satisfied you, my Lord” (Latin). 45 Followers of the medical principles of Paracelsus (1490-1541), the Swiss physician and natural philosopher. 46 A superstitious belief that a stone of great medical benefit is bred in toads’ heads. 37

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the port-esquiline?47 Samuel A learned question: or grant the diaphragma by a rupture, the sign being then in the head of Capricorn— Thomas Meet48 with the passion hypercondriaca, and so cause a carnositie in the kidneys, must not the brains being butter’d with this humour? Answer me that. Samuel Most excellently argued. 2 Physitian The next fit you will have, my most fine scholer, Bedlam49 shall finde a salve for. Fare you well, sir: we came to do you good, but these young doctors, it seems, have boar’d our noses.50 3 Physitian Drink hard, gentlemen, and get unwholsom drabs;51 ’tis ten to one then we shall hear farther from ye, your note alter’d. [Exit Physitians.] Sing.52 Thomas And wilt thou be gone, says one. Hylas And wilt thou be gone, says tother. Thomas Then take, take, the odd crown, To mend thy old gown, Samuel And we’ll be gone all together. Frank My learned Tom, gramercy.53 [Exeunt.] The End.

47

While the “port-vein” is the great vein formed by the union of the veins from the stomach, intestine, etc., “port-Esquiline” was a gate in ancient Rome. The medical jargon now becomes more outrageous and even less intelligible. 48 In accordance with. 49 After 1400, Bethlem was gradually transformed from a small general hospital in London to a specialist institution for the insane. Its popular name was “Bedlam,” which came to signify uproar, confusion and madness. 50 Mocked us. 51 Diseased prostitutes. 52 This stage direction replaces the following one in the play, which comes after the opening line of the song: They sing. 53 Thanks or thank you, which was added in the droll.

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The Humour of Simple54 Argument needless, It being a thorow farce, and very well known. Actors Names. Simpleton the Old, Simpleton the Young, Doll a Wench, two Gentlemenbraves,55 rivals in her affection. [Enter Old Simpleton.] Old Simpleton Sirrah Simpleton, where are you? [Young Simpleton within.] Here, here, Father. Old Simpleton Where, where, sirrah? Young Simpleton At the cupboard,56 Father; at the cupboard. Old Simpleton I thought as much: but come you hither, sirrah, or I shall make your ears sing prick-song57 for you. [Enter Young Simpleton with a great piece of bread and butter.]58 Young Simpleton ’Tis a miserable condition that a man cannot eat a little bit for his after-noons lunchin, but he must be disturbed in the best of his stomach. Old Simpleton A bit! dost thou call it? O’ my conscience this devouring rascal, old as I am, would eat me if he found me in the cupboard. Young Simpleton I do not think there is such a genteel smith in the town, that hath such an old niggardly coxcomb to his father as I: he 54

This prose farce is a close abridgement of Simpleton the Smith, appended to the second edition of Actæon and Diana (1656). Like the other four drolls in the collection, it is generally attributed to—though not necessarily authored by—the actor Robert Cox (d. 1655), who played in the role of Young Simpleton. It may have been part of a lost pre-Commonwealth full-length play, but the completeness of the plot, and the phrase in the Argument about it being a “thorow farce,” would indicate otherwise. From another remark there, however, it would appear to have already been very popular. It has been suggested that the change from “Simpleton” in the title of the Actæon and Diana version to “Simple” here is probably a printer’s slip. “Humour” and “humours” were used almost interchangeably at this time, meaning moods or fancies exhibited in action—vagaries, caprices. 55 “Fine” gentlemen. 56 Pantry. 57 That is, he will wallop him on the ears, making them ring. 58 The frontispiece to The Wits. Part I (1662), shows Young Simpleton munching on a piece of bread, which Kirkman, in the preface, says gave “great pleasure of the audience” (see illustration below, p. 389).

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knows I have no better a stomach then a young green-sickness girl,59 and yet he grutches60 me every bit I eat. Old Simpleton Leave off your muttering, and lend me an ear a while. Young Simpleton Truly I cannot spare one, Father: yet now I think on’t, you have great occasion for one ever since the last pillory-day;61 but since you are my father, I will vouchsafe62 to listen a while. Old Simpleton You know that I am old. Young Simpleton The more’s the pity that you were not hang’d while you were young. Old Simpleton Thou hast drunk most of my means away. Young Simpleton I’ll eat out the rest. Old Simpleton Leave your ill breeding, and give me sensibly a reason why you will not work. Young Simpleton Because I am lazie, Father. Old Simpleton Nay, that’s true. Young Simpleton True? Why, do you think I would be so unmannerly to tell you a lye, Father? Old Simpleton How I shall maintain that coming stomach of yours, unless your self endeavour for it, I know not: but if thou wilt be ruled, I’ll make thee a man. Young Simpleton A man! Why what am I now, a mouse? What would you make of me? Old Simpleton An asse, an asse, a gross asse. Young Simpleton You may well make me a gross asse, you have so good a pattern. Old Simpleton Listen to me: you know the widows daughter at the corner, sweet Mistriss Dorothy; she’s both young and handsome, and has money too. Young Simpleton I, and that will help to buy victuals. Old Simpleton Go and woo her, and I dare lay my life thou carriest her.63 Young Simpleton I carry her, Father? Alas! I have but a weak back, and

59

Green-sickness or “chlorosis,” an anæmic disease which mostly affects young women about the age of puberty and gives a pale or greenish tinge to the complexion. 60 Begrudges (grudges). 61 That is, since the day he was last pilloried (or publicly punished at the stocks), supposedly losing one ear. 62 Deign, condescend. 63 That is, he will win her hand in marriage.

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besides I am somewhat lazily given, as you say: it were a great deal better that she would carry me. Old Simpleton Thou hast no more wit then my hammers head has, and no more brains then an anvil, which every one may strike on, but never move it: go take your fiddle, at that they say you are excellent; and when she thanks thee from her chamber-window, say thou art my son, and that I sent thee about the thing she wots64 of. Young Simpleton O must I bumfiddle65 her under her chamber-window? Well, I will go wash my hands, and starch my face, because I may be sure to go cleanly about my business. [Exeunt.]66 [Enter Young Simpleton with a viol.] Young Simpleton Now must I go play an alampadoe67 under Mistriss Dorothy’s chamber-window, and all that time perhaps she is a snorting: for to say the truth, my musick will hardly have the vertue68 to waken her; and if she should wake, I could not tell what to say to her, unless it were to desire her to go to bed again. And because I will be sure to be acceptable to her, I will joyn my nightingale-voyce thereunto. [Enter the First Gentleman.] I Gentleman What slave is this presumes to court my mistriss? Could I but see him, I would satifie my anger with the ruine of his limbs; but he is gone, and I loose time in seeking. [Exit.] Young Simpleton That was a roaring rogue, he has made my heart jump upright into my mouth; and if I had not held it fast with my teeth, without doubt it had forsaken my body; but he is gone, and now I will venture forward. [Enter the Second Gentleman.] 2 Gentleman I heard some musick at my sweet-hearts window: could I but finde him, I would cut him, and slash him till his whole body were anatomized: but he is gone, and it was his wisest course. [Exit.] Young Simpleton That roaring rogue was far worse then the t’other; he has almost frighted my song out of my head. Oh! We true and faithful lovers, what perils and dangers must we undergo, to gain the wills and 64

Knows. A vulgar term, literally meaning to fiddle the bum (or perform anal copulation). But there is also punning on his playing of the fiddle under her chamber window. 66 A short scene from Actæon and Diana has been omitted, in which the First Gentleman begs for money and Doll promises to meet him at five o’clock in the morning. 67 Probably a type of popular song, romantic in character. 68 Power (virtue). 65

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affections of our dearest dears? But now to my musick; and because she shall take a great pleasure to think on it, I will sing a song of a young wench that had a great minde to be married before her time. [Sings.] Oh! Mother let me have a husband kinde, with toitre,69 loytre, loitre. That day and night I may comfort finde of a toitre, &c. I care not whether honest man or knave, so that he keep me fine and brave,70 And that none else but I may have his toitre, &c. Oh Daughter you are not old enough for a toitre, &c. And husbands often do prove rough with a toitre, &c. Your tender heart no grief can carry, as they must do sometimes that marry: You yet may well a twelve-moneth tarry for a toitre, &c. Oh! Mother I am in my teens, for a toitre, &c. And younger wives are often seen with a toitre, &c. I pray let me not so idle stand, for I can do as well as any can, I have had a proof with John our man of his toitre, &c. Well, if she does not run mad for me now, it is pity she should have musick under her window as long as she lives.71 69

Penis. Finely dressed. 71 A stage direction in Actæon and Diana (Mistris Dorothy above), followed by her indignant inquiry and his burlesque sentimental reply, have been omitted. 70

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Doll Oh is it you? I thought none but a puppy like your self, would have disturbed the neighbours with your gridiron-musick:72 a saw were far more pleasing. Young Simpleton Forsooth I am very sorry that you have no better skill in musick; in my opinion I sung most melodiously: but if you will be pleased to look with eyes of judgement upon me, you will express your love in a better manner to me. Doll I shall express my love, if you continue here, in a far worser manner then you think for. Do you see this chamber-pot? It longs to be acquainted with that brainless head of yours: therefore be gone, and save your self a washing. Young Simpleton If you should wash me, I think it would be but labour in vain: yet if you please to distil any of your sweet water upon me, I shall desire to be smelt out by you. Doll You asse, you puppy; must you needs force a drowning?73 Young Simpleton Is this the beginning of love? It is almost as bad as the proverb to me: stay, it may be it is rose-water. Voh, it is as rank urine as ever any doctor cast.74 I’ll call this same Old Simpleton my father that set me about this business. Oh, Father Simpleton, where are you? Old Simpleton Oh my son, how hast thou sped,75 boy? Young Simpleton O! I have sped most abominably, Father: I got a great deal more then I expected. Old Simpleton Oh my own natural76 boy! Young Simpleton I, natural, to be sure, I had ne’er come here else. Old Simpleton But how did she relish77 thee? Young Simpleton Why she relish’d me with a whole chamber-pot full of water. Old Simpleton Why thou asse, thou puppy, thou fool, thou coxcomb. Young Simpleton Why? how can I help it? Why did you get me so like a fool? Old Simpleton Come, shew78 me to her, and you shall see how I will handle her. Young Simpleton Nay, Father, I should be loath to marry her, after you have had the handling of her. 72

That is, grating, tortuous music. The following stage direction in Actæon and Diana has been omitted: Exit. 74 Diagnosed. 75 Fared, prospered. 76 Simple-minded, foolish. 77 Like. 78 Present. 73

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Old Simpleton This is her chamber, is it not? Young Simpleton Yes: I know it by a good token; for here she opened the sluce, and let the flood-gates out upon me. Old Simpleton Mistriss Dorothy, Mistriss Dorothy, pray come to the window. Young Simpleton Pray to the window, Mistriss Dorothy. Old Simpleton Sirrah, hold your tongue. Doll What again? Sure this whole morning is nothing but my trouble: what wise-aker79 is that now? Young Simpleton She calls you wise-aker: speak now. Old Simpleton I am your neighbour, Old Simpleton the Smith. Young Simpleton And I Young Simpleton the Smith. Doll Oh neighbour, is it you? Here was your son but now, and kept a worse noise then a bear-baiting:80 but you are civil, I will come down to you. Old Simpleton Look you there, sirrah; she will come down to me, she says. Young Simpleton I, by that time I have been a courtier81 as long as you have been, one woman or other may come down to me. [Enter Doll.] Doll Good morrow, neighbour: what is your business, pray? Old Simpleton Why it is this: this is my son. Nay, it is my son, I’ll assure you. Young Simpleton Yes, forsooth,82 he is sure I am his son; my mother told him so. Doll Now I look better on him, he seems to me more handsome then before; your company seasons him with discretion: but what’s your business, pray sir? Old Simpleton Why, if you please, forsooth, I would fain joyn you two together in the way of matrimony. Young Simpleton Yes forsooth, to mock a marriage.83 Doll But hold, sir, two words to a bargain: what profession is your son of?

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A foolish person with an air of learning or wisdom (wiseacre). Held at what were known as bear-gardens, bear-baiting was still a popular entertainment at this time, where dogs attacked a bear chained to a stake. 81 One who courts, a wooer. 82 In truth, truly. 83 That is, to perform a sham marriage (perhaps punning on “make” and offered as an aside). 80

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Young Simpleton Forsooth I am a blacksmith: and though I say it, I have as good working-gear as any smith in the parish; all my neighbours wives shall be my witness. Old Simpleton Sirrah, hold your tongue. Young Simpleton Why, shall I come a wooing, and say nothing for my self? Doll But what estate, I pray, has your son in posse?84 Young Simpleton Father, what estate have I in a posset? Old Simpleton Forsooth, two cowes you shall have with him. Young Simpleton With a calf, to my knowledge. Old Simpleton Four ewes and lambs, and a horse to ride to market on. Young Simpleton Yes, and an aʊ: no, now I think on it, you may keep your asse your self. Old Simpleton Four mark85 in money. Young Simpleton Do you mark that? Old Simpleton With a bed and blankets. Young Simpleton And then we may daunce the shaking of the sheets when we can. Doll These promises are fair; and if performed, I hope I shall not need repent my bargain. Young Simpleton Nor I neither: come, let’s to bed presently, and afterwards we’ll talk on it. Doll No, no; first to church, and then to bed. Young Simpleton Oh! Then you won’t follow the fashion of our country; we commonly go to bed first, and to church when we can; but come, I am contented. [Exeunt.]86 I Gentleman What should this mean? Doll has a hat on: she did not used to wear one. [Enter Doll.] Doll Oh, gentlemen! Though I desire your company, yet now I could heartily wish your absence. I Gentleman Why? What’s the matter, Doll? Doll I am married. 84

“In potential but not in actuality” (Latin). A currency used in England at this time, one mark being the equivalent of twothirds of a pound sterling. 86 A stage direction in Actæon and Diana (Musick. Enter the First Gent. and second, meeting) has been omitted, along with a short dialogue between the two gentlemen about their suit to Doll and the smith’s wedding, apparently not yet realizing that she is the bride. However, the second edition (1672) fills the gap with: Enter 2 Gentlemen. 85

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2 Gentleman To whom? Doll Do you not know him? Young Simpleton the Smith. I Gentleman That fool, that coxcomb: I’ll break his hammer with his own jolt-head.87 Doll Stand close,88 I hear him coming. [Enter Young Simpleton.] Young Simpleton Sweet-heart, now we are married, things ought to be well carried: and the first thing we should take care for, is, how to get victuals. What’s that? [They wistle.] Doll Nothing but the rats and mice. Young Simpleton As sure as I live, I’ll lay a trap for those rats. But what’s the matter now? [They hem.] Doll Nothing but the neighbours dogs. Young Simpleton ’Tis a thousand pities but such curs were hang’d up presently. [Exit Simpleton.] Doll Oh gentlemen, I would you were out of the house; for I am afraid he will return again ere I can handsomely89 shut the door. [Young Simpleton within.] Why Doll, Doll! Doll Come ye behind me presently; I pray dispatch.90 [Enter Young Simpleton.] Young Simpleton Doll, I have considered, that to set up my trade is the way to get victuals; and I want nothing of my tools, but onely a pair of bellows. Doll Fear not, husband, I have a little money that you know not of; and if I can but hear of a good bargain, I will not fail to buy a pair of bellows. Young Simpleton Oh thou pretty loving kinde pigsnie! But what makes thee wear thy coats of that fashion? [She spreads her coats.] Doll Do not you know, husband, it is the fashion f[o]r new-married wives? Young Simpleton Is it so? It is an excellent fashion in the summer-time: but I’ll go out, and return presently. [Exit Young Simpleton.] Doll What will you do? ’Tis ten to one he spies you, and then my reputation runs a hazard. I Gentleman Appoint91 what way you will, we are contented. Doll I see him coming back; and truth to say, the course I shall advise, will seem a strange one, yet it must be: you know he did appoint that I 87

Stupid head, blockhead. Hide somewhere close by. 89 Conveniently. 90 Be quick, make haste. 91 Decide, determine. 88

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should buy for him a pair of bellows; now if you two can beat it lustily, and blow it strongly, this visit may be kept off from his knowledge. I Gentleman Nay, any thing, good Doll; we cannot now be chusers. Doll So, lie down: I’ll fetch a chafingdish of charcoal92 hither, and practise you a while before he comes. [Exit Doll.] I Gentleman I have plaid many a mad prank in my life, yet ne’er till now acted a pair of bellows. [Enter Doll. She practises them.] Doll So, so blow lustily, and fear not. [Enter Young Simpleton.] Young Simpleton Wife, I have considered with my self, that if we lay out all the mony in a pair of bellows, we should have little or nothing left to buy victuals. Doll Oh husband, you are deceived; for I have bought you a pair of bellows, the whole town shews not a neater.93 Young Simpleton Is this a pair of bellows? Let me see, this is an a-lamoda94 pair of bellows. But look you, Doll, when the bellows-mender comes by, let him stop this hole here; for the winde comes out abominably. I’ll call my Father Simpleton to see this pair of bellows. Father, Father, come hither. [Enter Old Simpleton.] Young Simpleton Did you ever see such a pair of bellows as my wife has bought? Old Simpleton A pair a bellows, son! Me-thinks this would serve better for an anvil: let’s try how it will bear our stroaks. Young Simpleton Well, a match. [Exeunt.]95

92

A vessel that holds burning charcoal for heating purposes, a portable grate. That is, not a finer, more handsome pair. 94 Fashionable. 95 This stage direction is not included in Actæon and Diana. Doubtless, as with the ending of Simpkin, the gentlemen are driven away while being beaten mercilessly. 93

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King Ahasuerus and Queen Esther96 The actors names. King, Queen, Haman, a Messenger. [Enter King and Queen.] King What would my queen, what would you have of me? Ask freely, and I’le give it unto thee: Ask half my kingdom, ’tis at thy command; For who is it my power that dares withstand? Queen Then this, my king, is all; I humbly pray That you and Haman97 will come here this day, Unto a feast that Esther will prepare, Then to my king my grief I shall declare. King Call Haman forth: the queen doth us invite Part of a banquet to partake this night. [Enter Haman.] Therefore be sure you fail not to be there; Me-thinks I long to taste of Esther’s cheer. [Exeunt.] Haman Solus Thus do all seek to purchace my regard; And from my hand receive their due reward: Yet Mordecai98 (proud fool) he wont obey, Derides his power, though Haman bears the sway. Therefore I’le not be quiet till I see Proud Mordecai exalted on a tree.99 I’le to the king, who will not me deny, Then raise a gallows fifty cubits high.100 [Enter King and Queen.] King Now speak, my queen, what is’t of me you crave? 96

Based entirely on the biblical Book of Esther (chaps. 5-7), the work itself is of unknown origin, perhaps taken from a longer play (though unlikely) or performed as a puppet-show, still popular at fairs and elsewhere. Ultimately, however, the ancestry of such drolls probably lies in medieval drama. The focus of the story, set forth in heroic couplets, is on Esther’s petition to her husband Ahasuerus, King of Persia (commonly identified as Artaxerxes), by which she saves her Jewish people from destruction. 97 A court favourite. 98 Esther’s uncle, who had incurred the enmity of Haman. 99 Hanged. 100 An ancient measure of length derived from the forearm. Although varying at different times and places, a cubit was usually about 18-22 inches, making the gallows here approximately eighty feet high.

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Ask freely, and I swear that you shall have Your full demand, I will resign Up half this kingdom, if you will, ’tis thine. Queen It is my life (great sir) that I do crave, And that my peoples lives you also save. Had we been sold for slaves, I’d held my tongue, And patiently would have endur’d the wrong. But to be threatened every day with death Is worse then death it self— King Who is the man? I’le make him ever rue, Who durst attempt such cruel things to do: For as I’m king, I’m bound to do you good; And in your just defence I’le spend my blood. Queen Haman’s the man, who in a little space Threatens destruction to the Jewish race: Oh, wicked man, he don’t deserve to live, The softest heart can him no pity give. [Enter Messenger.] Messenger Most mighty king, by Hamans house hard by There stands a gallows fifty cubits high, Made for to hang poor Mordecai the Jew, Who ever has been faithful unto you. King Hang him thereon, let this recorded be To future ages, as an act from me. Thus let imperious Haman be repaid, And fall i’th’ snare which he for others laid. [Exeunt.]

The Humours of Simpkin. A Continued Farce101 Actors names. Simpkin, a clown: Bluster, a roarer: an Old Man: his Wife: a Servant. 101

Despite this piece being referred to in its sub-title as a “farce,” it is generally regarded as a jig or short song-play. The earliest known text in English is contained in Actæon and Diana, first published in 1655 or 1656. But there is evidence that it was popular, both in England and on the continent, decades earlier, and probably appeared in similar form during the late years of the sixteenth century. The version here, from Kirkman’s The Wits (1662), is almost identical to the one in Actæon and Diana, though the title was changed from Singing Simpkin to the one above because, it has been suggested, the publisher knew that the piece predated Cox.

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[Enter the Wife, Simpkin following.] Wife Blind Cupid hath made my heart for to bleed: Fa la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.102 Simpkin But I know a man can help you at need: With a fa la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Wife My husband he often a hunting goes out: Fa la, la, &c. Simpkin And brings home a great pair of horns,103 there’s no doubt: With a fa la, la la, &c. Wife How is’t, Monsieur Simpkin? Why are you so sad? Fa la, la, la, &c. Simpkin I am up to the ears in love, and it makes me stark mad: With a fa la, la, la, &c. I am vext,104 I am tortur’d, and troubled at heart: Fa la, la, &c. Wife But I’ll try my skill to take off your smart: With a fa la, la, &c. And on that condition I give you a kiss: Fa la, la, &c. Simpkin But what says your husband when he hears of this? With a fa la, la, &c. Wife You know my affections, and no one knows more: Fa, la, la, &c. [Knocks within.] Simpkin ’Uds niggers noggers105 who knocks at the door? With a fa, la, la, &c. [Enter Servant. The tune alters.] Servant There is a royster106 at the door, he seems a fellow stout.107 Simpkin I do beseech you, worthy friend, which is the back-way out? Servant He swears and tears108 he will come in, and nothing shall him hinder. [Exit Servant.] Simpkin I fear he’ll strip me out my skin, and burn it into tinder. 102

The entire droll is in verse, probably sung to various lively and familiar tunes. That is, in his absence he is cuckolded or dishonoured by his wife’s adultery. 104 Greatly disturbed. 105 An oath, “’Uds” being a minced form of “God’s.” 106 A swaggering, blustering bully (roisterer). 107 Fierce and proud. 108 Rants and blusters. 103

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Wife I have consider’d of a way, and ’twill be sure the best. Simpkin What may it be, my dearest dear? Wife Creep into this same chest. [A chest set out.] And though he roar, speak you no word, if you’ll preserve my favour. Simpkin Shut to the chest, I pray, with speed; for something has some savour.109 [Enter Bluster.] Bluster I never shall be quiet if she use me in this fashion. Wife I am here to bid you welcome; what mean you by this passion?110 Bluster With some young sweet-faced fellow, I thought gone out you were. Simpkin in the Chest No sooth, the sweet-fac’d fellow is kept a prisoner here. Bluster Where is the fool thy husband? say, whither is he gone? Wife The wittal111 is a hunting. Bluster Then we are two alone. But should he come, and finde me here, what might the cuckold think? Perhaps he’d call the neighbours in. Simpkin And beat you till you stink. Bluster Yet in the bloody war full oft, my courage I did try. Wife I know you have kill’d many a man. Simpkin You lye, you slut, you lye. Bluster I never came before a foe, by night nor yet by day, but that I stoutly rouz’d my self. Simpkin And nimbly ran away. Bluster Within this chest I’ll hide my self, if it chance he should come. Wife O no, my love, that cannot be. Simpkin I have bespoke112 the room. 109

That is, it is a good idea or suggestion. Outburst of anger or bad temper. 111 Half-witted, fool (wittol). 112 Reserved, made arrangements for. 110

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Wife I have a place behinde here, which yet is known to no man. Simpkin She has a place before too, but that is all too common. [Old Man within.] Old Man Wife, wherefore is the door thus barr’d? What mean you, pray, by this? Wife Alas, it is my husband. Simpkin I laugh now till I piss. Bluster Open the chest, I’ll into it, my life else it may cost. Wife Alas, I cannot open it. Simpkin I believe the key is lost. Wife I have bethought my self upon a dainty113 trick. Bluster What may it be, my dearest love? I prethee114 now be quick. Wife You must say that your enemy into this house is fled. And that your heart can take no rest until that he be dead. Draw quickly out your furious blade, and seem to make a strife:115 Swear all th’ excuses can be made, shall not preserve his life. Say that the rogue is fled in here, that stole away your coin; And if I’ll not deliver him, you’ll have as much of mine. Bluster Here’s no man but my self, on whom shall I complain? Wife This great fool does not understand, this thing you must but feign. My husband thus must be deceiv’d, and afterwards we’ll laugh. [Enter Old Man.] Old Man Wife, since you will not ope the door, I’ll break’t ope with my staff. 113

Fine, excellent. Pray thee (prithee). 115 Commotion. 114

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Bluster Good woman shew me to the slave, his limbs I strait will tear. Wife By all the honesty I have, there’s no man came in here. Bluster When I have fought to purchase wealth, and with my blood did win it, this rogue has got my purse by stealth. Simpkin But never a peny in it. Old Man She’s big with childe, therefore take heed you do not fright my wife. Bluster But know you who the father is? Simpkin The roarer, on my life. Old Man She knows not of your enemy, then get you gone you were best. Wife Peace, husband, peace; I tell you true, I have hid him in the chest. Old Man I am glad on’t at my heart, but do not tell him so. Wife I would not for a thousand pound the roarer should it know. Bluster When next we meet, his life is gone, no other must he hope; I’ll kill him whatsoere comes on’t. Simpkin Pray think upon a rope. Old Man What kinde of person is it then, that in the chest doth lie? Wife A goodly handsome sweet young man, as ere was seen with eye. Old Man Then let us both entreat of him— Pray put us not in fear: We do beseech you go from hence. Bluster But to morrow I’ll be here. [Exit Bluster.] Old Man Wife, run with all the speed you can, and quickly shut the door; I would not that the roaring man should come in any more. Mean time I will release the youth, and tell him how we have sped116— Be comforted my honest friend. [Simpkin comes forth.] 116

Fared, succeeded.

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Simpkin Alas, I’m almost dead. My heart is tortur’d in my breast, with sorrow, fear and pain. Old Man I’ll fetch some aqua vitæ,117 to comfort you again. Simpkin And ’cause I will requite118 you, whose love doth so excel, I’ll graft a pair of horns on your head, that may defend it well. Wife Good husband, let the man stay here, ’tis dangerous in the street. Old Man I would not for a crown of gold the roarer should him meet. For should he come by any harm, they’d say the fault were mine. Wife to Simpkin There’s half a crown, pray send him out to fetch a quart of wine. Simpkin There’s money for you, sir— Pray fetch a quart of sack.119 Old Man ’Tis well, ’tis well, my honest friend, I’ll see you shall not lack. Wife But if he should dishonest120 me, for there are such slippery men. Old Man Then he gets not of his half crown, one peny back agen. [Exit.] Simpkin Thy husband being gone, my love, we’ll sing, we’ll dance and laugh: I am sure he’s a good fellow, and takes delight to quaff.121 Wife I’ll fold thee in my arms, my love, No matter for his listning. [The Old Man and his servant listen.] Simpkin Gentlemen, some forty weeks hence you may come to a christning. Old Man O sirrah, have I caught you?122 117

Distilled spirits, such as brandy, whisky, etc. Repay, return the kindness. 119 Sweet wine, traditionally imported from Spain or the Canaries. 120 Dishonour. 121 To drink copiously. 122 As this ending does not occur in the continental versions, it is thought that Cox may have added it. 118

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Now do the best you can; your school-master ne’er taught you to wrong an honest man. Simpkin Good sir, I never went to school, then why am I abused? The truth is, I am but a fool, And like a fool am used. Old Man Yet sirrah you had wit enough to think to cuckold me. Wife I jested with him, husband, his knavery to see. Simpkin But now you talk of knavery, I pray where is my sack? Old Man You shall want it in your belly, sir, and have it on your back. [They beat him off.] [Exeunt.]

Venus and Adonis, or, The Maid’s Philosophy123 The Actors Names. Venus. Adonis. Two Hunts-men. [Enter Venus and Adonis.] Venus Adonis, wilt thou now from me be gone?124 And leave me here to mourn and sigh alone? Regards thou not the flower of my youth: 123

Of unknown origin, this non-comic playlet is based on the classical myth of Venus (or Aphrodite) and Adonis. However, important changes were made to the traditional story, such as the slaying of the young lover by huntsmen rather than a wild boar. There is some evidence to suggest that it dates back to the previous century, perhaps as part of a lost full-length play or some other longer work. The curious sub-title appears in Act III, Scene iv of The Dumb Knight (1608 and 1633), by Gervase Markham and Lewis Machin. One of the characters in the play, after quoting stanza 39 of Shakespeare’s Venus and Adonis, is asked about the book he is reading. It is called, he replies, “Maid’s Philosophy, or Venus and Adonis.” 124 The droll opens at the story’s climax, with Venus attempting to dissuade Adonis from leaving her for the hunt. His loving response, referring to her as “fair nymph” and “dear saint,” is at odds both with his mythical character and their traditional relationship, such language being rather a part of Elizabethan romantic convention.

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Which of my tender love t’hast had such proof? Thou captivated hast long since my heart, And wilt thou now unkindly from me part? O, do not go, the dangers very great; Thy death I much do fear it will create. Adonis Fair nymph, leave off to sigh for me; A quick return I’le make to thee. No dangers in these huntings are, Therefore from grief I pray forbear: Whilst I am gone take thou my heart, Which is of me the better part. Then dearest sigh no more in vain, For I shall soon be back again; And with such joys my queen I’le crown, As shall unto the woods resound. Venus Since you will go, prosperity Attend you to eternity. Adonis The like to you, dear saint, I wish, With all the happiness and bliss The gods can give, a while farewell, When next we meet all will be well. Venus Farewell. [Exeunt.] [Enter Adonis hunting, and wounded.] Adonis Ah, what a sad unfortunate man was I, Not to observe the tears of her fair eye. Her sweet perswasions not to have me go, Still to her suit I ever answer’d no. And yet grim Death, it is not thee I fear, Adieu, fair Venus, adieu to thee a while, Our future joys will make us both to smile. [Enter Venus seeing Adonis dead.] Venus Kneeling A me, that e’re I liv’d to see thy death. A woe is me. What cruel fate brought this sight hither? Why did not we dye both together? How sad and unhappy is my fate, Thus to be made unfortunate? Farewell unto my dearest love, Untill that we do meet above. [Enter two Hunts-men.] I. Hunts-man Ha, who is’t that on yon place doth lye,

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That is so stain’d with a vermilion125 dye? 2. Hunts-man I know not truly, let us hither go. I. Hunts-man With all my heart, that we the truth may know. towards him.] Alas, we only thought to wound the hart, But now I see Adonis bears the smart. Let’s bear him thence, and speedily return, And safe conduct him to his peaceful urn.

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The Humour of Hobbinal126 Argument is needless, Onely the drollery127 taken out. Actors Names. Hobbinal, Dorilas, Strephon, Oenone, & two or three Nymphs. [Enter Dorilas, Strephon spying Hobbinal reading.] Dorilas What paper is that he ruminates upon? Let us observe a little. Hobbinal ’Tis a strange thing I finde my self out every day more then other, to be one of the understanding’st, sweetest, neatest, and compleatest shepherds that ever took hook in hand. T’other day I saw my face in a pail of water, and I had much ado to forbear drow[n]ing of my self.128 ’Tis no wonder then, that the beauteous nymph Oenone makes much of me, and lets all the other shepherds shake their ears like asses: and the truth is, if I can finde never a handsomer, she shall serve in turn. This was her birth-day, she being born in the year—one thousand six hundred,—nay hold a little: but on this day of the moneth it was, winter or summer, in the honour of which we all keep holiday: and 125

Bright red or scarlet, traditionally the colour of blood (vermillion). Hobbinal is an abridgement from Oenone, a masque-like droll of a pastoral nature, contained in Actæon and Diana (1655 or 1656, 1656). The comic episode of Hobbinal (or “Hobbinall” in Oenone and elsewhere) constitutes the entire piece, with a country dance and morris bringing it to a conclusion. 127 A term variously used, probably to indicate here that the other conventions of pastoral entertainment have been omitted, such as the opening love-lorn soliloquy of Dorilas and the quarrel between Dorus and Cloris. 128 The allusion here is to Narcissus, a hunter in Greek mythology renowned for his beauty. He fell in love with his own reflection in a pool of water and died of unfulfilled love. 126

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therefore for the credit of her beauty, and the honour of my own poetry, I have made such a copy of verses on her, as will make her a thousand times handsomer then ever she was in her life. I will pursue them now with the eyes of understanding. [He reads.] Oenone fair, whose beauty does enrich us, Tell me the cause why thou dost so bewitch us. On this day thou wert born, though not begotten; This day I’ll think on when thou art dead and rotten. And though thy coyness, and thy pretty scorn, Makes many wish that thou hads’t ne’er been born; Yet for my own part, this I’ll swear and say, I wish thy time of birth were every day. If she do not run mad for love of me now, ’tis pity she should have verses made on her as long as she lives. Strephon Let’s interrupt him.——Hobbinal, well met. Hobbinal It may be so. Dorilas But why so strange, man? I hope you will remember we are your fellow-shepherds. Hobbinal You were once: but now I command you to know, I am a master-shepherd; for the fair nymph Oenone, that makes all your mouths run over with water, does acknowledge me to be both master and mistress. Strephon In part ’tis true: yet if you well consider, she makes you but her sport; no otherwise. Hobbinal If she makes me her sport, ’tis more then ever she can make of thee: for thou art one of the sowrest lookt fellows that ever crept out of a vinegar-bottle. [Enter Oenone.] Dorilas Here comes the fairest Idae129 ever nourisht. Hobbinal Now will I see who is the most deserving shepherd in all the vale of Idae.——Little rogue, how dost thou? Oenone O Hobbinal, you are welcome; I thought you had forgotten me: you are my sport, and should be ever near me. Hobbinal Look you there, I am her sport, she says: when will she give any of you such an honourable title? but Sport, I do not think but thou art a conjurer, or a witch, or a devil at least: for thou hast infused such 129

An Idæan, one who dwells on Mount Ida, located in the centre of Crete.

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a combustion of poetry in my head, that I fear I shall never be my own man agen, nor my master’s neither.——There’s a copy of verses, read ’em: nay, they are my own, as sure as my name’s Hobbinal. Oenone I thank you, Sport: I’ll study a requital.130 Dorilas Honour me with your fair hand, nymph, that I may lead the way to all those pastimes which will follow. Oenone The honour is to me, and I will accept it. Hobbinal I’d laugh at that: no, Sport, I’ll dance with thee my self. Oenone Some other time by chance I may be at leisure. Hobbinal Will you not? Well, by this hand then I’ll stand out, and laugh at every thing you do, right or wrong. [A dance.] Pshaw waw,131 this dancing is like my mothers mares trot: Sport, shall I shew thee a dance of my own fashion? Oenone It cannot but content. Hobbinal Nay, I know that: hark hither, lads. [Exit Hobbinal, Strephon.] [Hobbinal and the shepherds dance a morris.]132 Hobbinal How like you this Sport? Oenone Beyond expression, Sport: I see your vertues were concealed too long. Hobbinal I, so they were; but I mean to shew them every day as fast as I can. But sirrah, Sport, yonder’s god Pan133 with a company of the bravest134 satyrs that ever wore horns on their heads: come, shepherds, let’s go make them drunk, and saw off all their horns. [Exeunt.]

130

That is, she will consider some recompense or reward for his kindness. An exclamation expressing contempt and probably impatience. 132 Morris-dance, a form of English folk dance dating from the late Middle Ages and thought to originate with the Moors of North Africa. It was usually accompanied by music and performed at local festivities, celebrating such occasions at Whitsun and May Day. 133 In Greek religion and mythology, Pan was a nature god, associated with fertility and spring. Like the satyrs, he had the hindquarters, legs and horns of a goat, and was famous for both his sexual and musical powers. 134 Most excellent, “finest” (an indeterminate word, often used in a qualified or somewhat humorous way). 131

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Diphilo and Granida135 The Actors Names. Diphilo, a shepherd. Granida, a shepherdess. [Enter Diphilo a shepherd.] Diphilo I once a shepherd was upon the plains, Courting my shepherdess among the swains. But now that courtly life I bid adieu, And here a melancholy life pursue.136 This shade’s my covering, this bank my bed; These flowers my pillow, where I lay my head. My food the fruit which grows about the field; My drink those tears my eyes with sorrows yield. Though I was once a shepherd princely born, Yet now I take this course, and live forlorn. [Espies Granida.] But ha, what’s here? What shining beauty this? Which equally desires my shady bliss. Granida I’m lost in this dark wilderness of care, Where I find nothing to prevent despair. No harmless damsel wandring, no, nor man: I am afraid I shan’t be found again. I am so thirsty, that I scarce can speak. Diphilo Can she grieve thus, and not my heart-strings break? Miracle of beauty, for you are no less; Water is waiting on such happiness. It is as clear as crystal, and as pure. Granida O bless me, heavens, are you a Christian sure? Diphilo Madam, I am no less, pray quench your thirst. Granida Kind sir, I will, but let me thank you first. [Drinks.] Indeed ’tis good, but you must better be, In being so courteous, as to give it me. 135

Probably based on the Dutch play Granida (1615) by P. C. Hooft (1581-1647), this pastoral romance has the slightest plot and smallest cast (two characters) of all the extant drolls. As with the other non-comic playlets, it is in heroic couplets and makes considerable use of rhetorical language. 136 Various pastoral conventions are contained here, such as a forsaken shepherd and the lovers being of princely background. But perhaps because of its brevity, the situation lacks a certain clarity. For example, Diphilo’s exile is never explained, and Granida, rather than being the cause of his withdrawal from society, seems to be an entirely new love.

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Diphilo Praise it not, sweetest madam, for you know On common creatures this we oft bestow: If I had any worthy thing call’d mine, I should be proud to offer’t to your shrine. Granida Thou hast enough, for Love has shot his dart, And to thy weeds I’le yield my princely heart. Diphilo Your beauty, princess, I confess it may Challenge an empire, or a greater sway; Much more then is my worth, yet so much here I am far more than what I do appear. Granida What e’re thou art, believ’t, I’le not repine; If I am any thing, I’m surely thine. Diphilo Then heav’n receive my vows, the palms shall move When I’m inconstant, or exchange my love. Nay, if I wax but cold in my desire, Think heaven hath motion left, and heat the fire. And to close all, take this; I love so true, [Gives her a ring.] By Heav’n I swear to love none else but you.137 Granida Then lead on forwards to my fathers court, We’l grace our nuptials with some princely sport.

The Encounter138 Argument. A peece of mock-knight errantry performed between Ralfe a grocers prentice and Barbarossa a barber.

137

This speech is a free paraphrase of John Donne’s Elegie XII, ll. 95-100, 103, 104. 138 An abridgement from The Knight of the Burning Pestle by Francis Beaumont (c. 1584-1616), probably written in 1607 and first published in 1613. Although it seems not to have been successful at its first appearance, a revival of sorts took place in 1635, published twice that year and acted at Queen Henrietta’s court in February 1636. It is a satire on chivalric romances in general, almost certainly influenced by Cervantes’s Don Quixote (Part 1, 1605, in the original Spanish), and a parody on several contemporary plays. The droll is a single, complete episode from the play (III. iv), which it follows closely, though omitting a short passage that introduces the scene and another that concludes it.

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Actors Names. A Citizen and his Wife, Ralfe their prentice, Knight of the Burning Pestle,139 a Squire and Dwarffe attending upon the knight, Barbarossa the Giant, several Knights errant,140 and distressed Damsells delivered by the pussiant141 Knight of the Burning Pestle. [Enter Rafe, Squire, and Dwarffe.]142 Rafe Oh faint not heart, Susan my lady deare: the coblers maid in Milkstreet143 for whose sake, I take these arms, O let the thought of thee, carry the knight through all the adventerous deeds, and in the honour of thy beauteous selfe, may I destroy this monster Barbarossa,144 knock squire upon the bason,145 till it break with the shrill strokes, or till the giant speak. [Enter Barbarossa.] Wife O George the giant, the giant, now Rafe for thy life. Barbarossa What fond146 unknowing wight147 is this that dares, so rudely knock at Barbarossa’s cell, where no man comes, but leaves his fleece148 behind? Rafe I, trayterous caitife,149 who am sent by fate to punish all the sad enormities thou hast commited against ladies gentle, and errant knights, traytor to heaven and men: prepare they selfe, this is the dismall hour appointed for thee, to give strict account of all thy beastly treacherous villanies. Barbarossa Fool hardy knight, full soon thou shalt aby150 this fond reproach thy body will I bang, and loe upon that string shall hang:151 139

A pestle is a club-shaped implement for grinding material in a mortar—used here, at least in part, as a phallic metaphor. 140 Knights travelling or roaming in quest of adventure. 141 Mighty, doughty (puissant). 142 The following stage direction has been omitted: Before a barber’s shop, Waltham. 143 A street in London’s Cripplegate Ward and part of the sprawling market centred in Cheapside. 144 Spelt “Barbarosso” here and in several other places later. 145 A barber’s basin, traditionally used as a sign. 146 Foolish. 147 Creature, man. 148 Head of hair (scalp) or possibly hide. 149 Despicable wretch, villain (caitiff). 150 Pay or atone for. 151 As barbers were also surgeons and dentists at this time, the stringing together of the extracted teeth was common practice, and served as an advertisement.

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prepare thy selfe, for dead soon shalt thou be. [Takes down his pole.]152 Rafe Saint George for me.153 Barbarossa Gargantua for me.154 Wife To him Rafe to him, hold up the giant, set out thy leg before Rafe. [Fight.] Citizen Falsifie a blow Rafe, falsifie a blow, the giant lies open on the left side. Wife Bear’t off,155 bear’t off still; there boy, O Rafe’s almost down, Rafe’s almost down. Rafe Susan inspire me, now have up again. Wife Up, up, up, so Rafe, down with him, down with him Rafe. Citizen Fetch him over the hip boy. Wife There boy, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill Rafe. Citizen No Rafe get all out of him first. Rafe Presumptious man, see to what desperate end thy treachery hath brought thee, the just gods, who never prosper156 those that do despise them, for all the villanies which thou hast done to knights and ladies, now have paid thee home by my stiffe157 arme, a knight adventurous; but say vile wretch before I send thy soul to sad avernus,158 whether it must go, what captives holds’t thou in thy sable cave?159 Barbarossa Go in and free them all, thou hast the day. Rafe Go Squire and Dwarffe, search in this dreadfull cave, and free the wretched prisoners from their bonds. [Exit Squire and Dwarffe.] 152

A barber’s pole painted spirally with red and white stripes, commonly used (along with a blood-letting basin) as a sign. 153 Saint George was supposedly a soldier in the Roman army and later venerated as a Christian martyr. He is immortalized in the ancient tale of Saint George and the Dragon, brought back to Europe by the crusaders and retold as a medieval romance. He became a stock figure in the miracle plays and appears in many later pieces of English literature. 154 One of the two titular heroes of The Life of Gargantua and Pantagruel, written in the sixteenth century by François Rabelais (c. 1494-1553). It is a story of their adventures, both father and son being giants, featuring much crudity, scatalogical humour and violence. 155 That is, “Go to it, finish him off.” 156 Bring prosperity to. 157 Sturdy, stalwart. 158 The infernal regions, hell. 159 Barbarossa previously referred to his barber shop as a “cell.” The metaphor is extended here in knightly terms, “sable” (black or dark) being traditionally a symbol of grief and mourning.

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Barbarossa I crave for mercy, thou art a knight, and scorn’st to spill the blood of those that beg. Rafe Thou shewest no mercy, nor shalt thou have any, prepare thy self for thou shalt surely die. [Enter Squire leading one winking160 with a bason under his chine.]161 Squire Behold brave knight here is one prisoner, whom this wild man hath used as you see. Wife This is the wisest word I heard the squire speak. Rafe Speak what thou art, and how thou hast been us’d, that I may give him condigne162 punishment. I. Knight I am a knight that took my journey post northward from London, and in courteous wise, this giant train’d163 me to his den, under pretence of killing of the itch, and all my body with a powder strew’d, that smarts and stings, and cut away my beard, and my curl’d locks wherein were ribands ty’d, and with a water washt my tender eyes, whil’st up and down about me still he skipt, whose vertue164 is, that till my eyes be wipt with a dry cloth, for this my foul disgrace, I shall not dare to look a dog i’th face. Wife Alas poor knight releife him Rafe, releife poor knights whil’st you live. Rafe My trusty squire convey him to the town where he may find releife, adue fair knight. [Exit Squire & Knight.] [Enter Dwarffe leading one with a patch on his nose.] Dwarffe Pussiant Knight of the Burning Pestle hight,165 see here another wretch, whom this foul beast hast scorcht and scor’d166 in this unhumane wise. Rafe Speak me thy name, and eke167 thy place of birth, and what hath been thy usage in this cave? 2. Knight I am a knight Sir Pock-hole is my name, and by my birth I am a Londoner, free by my copy,168 but my ancestors were Frenchmen all, 160

Blinking. A barber’s shaving basin, a round metal dish with a broad edge, having a semicircular opening for the neck, so as to allow the chin to reach into the bowl. 162 Fitting, deserved (condign). 163 Enticed. 164 Honour, self-worth (virtue). 165 Called, known as. 166 Hacked and slashed. 167 Also. 168 Tenure, charter. 161

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and riding hard this way, upon a trotting horse my bones did ake, and I faint169 knight to ease my weary limbs, light at170 this cave, when straight this furious fiend, with sharpest instrument of purest steel, did cut the gristle of my nose away, and in the place this velvet plaister stands, releive me gentle knight out of his hands. Wife Good Rafe releive Sir Pock-hole, and send him away, for in truth his breath stinks. Rafe Convey him straight after the other knight, Sir Pock-hole fare you well. 2. Knight Kind sir good night. [Exit.] Wife Harke George, what a wofull cry there is I think some women lyes in there. [Cries within Deliver us women deliver us women deliver us.]171 Rafe What gastly noise is this? Speak Barbarossa, or by this blazing steel thy head goes off. Barbarossa Prisoners of mine, whom I in dyet172 keep, send lower down into the cave, and in a tub that’s heated smoaking hot, there may they find them and deliver them. Rafe Run Squire and Dwarffe, deliver them with speed. [Exit Squire173and Dwarffe.] Wife But will not Rafe kill this giant, surely I am afraid if he let him go he will do as much hurt, as ever he did. Citizen Not so mouse174 neither, if he could convert him. Wife I George, if he could convert him; but a giant is not so soon converted as one of us ordinary people. There’s a pretty tale of a witch, that had the Divells marke about her, God bless us, that had a giant to her son, that was called Lob—ly—by—the fire,175 didst never hear it George. Citizen Peace Nell here comes the prisoners. [Enter Squire leading a man with a glass of potion176 in his hand, 169

Exhausted and about to faint. Arrived at, came upon. 171 The stage direction in the play is Cryes within, followed by the repeated wail of a man and a woman “Deliver us!” 172 For food (diet). 173 In an earlier stage direction the Squire has exited, but none has been given for his return. 174 A common term of endearment, chiefly addressed to women. 175 A “loblolly” is a bumpkin, rustic, boor. 176 A kind of drink, especially of medicinal or magical content (“lotion” in the play). 170

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and the Dwarffe leading a woman with dyet-bread177 and drink.] Dwarffe Here be these pined178 wretches manfull knight, that for these six weekes have not seen a wight. Rafe Deliver what you are, and how you came To this sad cave, and what your usage was. Man I am an errant-knight that follow’d arms, With spear and sheild; and in my tender years, I stricken was with Cupid’s fiery shaft, And fell in love with this my lady dear, And stole her from her friends in Turnbal-street,179 And bore her up and down from town to town, Where we did eat and drink, and musick hear: Till at the length, at this unhappy town We did arrive; and coming to the cave, This beast us caught, and put us in a tub; Where we this two months sweat, and should have done Another moneth, if you had not reliev’d us. Woman This bread and water hath our diet been; Together with a rib cut from a neck Of burned mutton. Hard hath been our fare: Release us from this ugly giants snare. Man This hath been half the food we have receiv’d; But onely twice a day for novelty, He gave a spoonful of his hearty broath To each of us, through this same tender quill. [A siringe. Pulls out.] Rafe From this infernal monster you shall go, That useth knights and gentile-ladies so. Convey ’em hence. [Exeunt.] Barbarossa Mercy, great knight: I do recant my ill; And henceforth never gentile-blood will spill. Rafe I give thee mercy: but yet thou shalt swear Upon my Burning Pestle, to perform Thy promise utter’d. Barbarossa I swear and kiss.180 177

A special bread prepared for invalids, etc., commonly referred to at the time in a disparaging manner. 178 Exhausted and wasted by suffering and hunger. 179 Turnmill (vulgarly called Turnbull or Turnball) Street, in Clerkenwell, London, was known for its profligate inhabitants and frequently alluded to by Shakespeare and his contemporaries. 180 The following stage direction in the play has been omitted: Kisses the Pestle.

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Rafe Depart then, and amend. Come, Squire and Dwarf, the sun grows towards his set; And we have many more adventures yet. [Exeunt.]

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Woodcut from the title-page of “A Light Hearts a Iewell”

Woodcut from the title-page of “The Tragedy of Doctor Lambe”

Final pages of Tom Thumbe, His Life and Death

Woodcut from title-page of The Ranters Ranting

Title-page from Tarltons Jests

Title-page from Sundrye Strange and Inhumaine Murthers, Lately Committed

Title-page from “A New-Yeeres-Gift for the Pope”

Frontispiece and title-page from The Wits, or, Sport upon Sport (1662)

BIBLIOGRAPHY

For General Reading Ashdown, Mrs. Charles A. British Costume: From the Earliest Times to 1820 (1910; Dover, 2012). Ashley, Leonard R. N. Elizabethan Popular Culture (Bowling Green State University Popular Press, 1988). Boas, George. Vox Populi: Essays in the History of an Idea (1969; Johns Hopkins University Press, 1995). Brant, Clare and Diane Purkiss, eds. Women, Texts & Histories 1575-1760 (1992; Routledge, 2004). Brown, Cedric C., ed. Patronage, Politics, and Literary Traditions in England 1558-1658 (1991; Wayne State University Press, 1993). Clark, Sandra. Women and Crime in the Street Literature of Early Modern England (2003; Palgrave Macmillan, 2004). Collier, John Payne. Illustrations of Early English Popular Literature, 2 vols. (privately printed, 1863; free download). Collison, Robert. The Story of Street Literature: Forerunner of the Popular Press (J. M. Dent, 1973). Cox, John D. and David Scott Kastan, eds. A New History of Early English Drama (Columbia University Press, 1997). DeMaria, Robert, Jr., ed. British Literature 1640-1789: An Anthology (1996; Blackwell Publishing, 2008). Fox, Adam. Oral and Literate Culture in England 1500-1700 (2000; Oxford University Press, 2003). Gurr, Andrew. The Shakespearean Stage 1574-1642 (1970; Cambridge University Press, 2009). Harris, Tim, ed. Popular Culture in England, c. 1500-1850 (Palgrave Macmillan, 1995). Harrison, G. B. England in Shakespeare’s Day (Harcourt, Brace, 1928; free download). Kermode, Jennifer and Garthine Walker, eds. Women, Crime and the Courts in Early Modern England (1994; Routledge, 2005). Kinney, Arthur F., ed. The Cambridge Companion to English Literature, 1500-1600 (2000; Cambridge University Press, 2007).

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Lowenthal, Leo. Literature, Popular Culture, and Society (1961; Textbook Publishers, 2003). Manley, Lawrence. Literature and Culture in Early Modern London (1995; Cambridge University Press, 2005). Milling, Jane and Peter Thomson, eds. The Cambridge History of British Theatre, vol. 1 Origins to 1660 (Cambridge University Press, 2004). Neuburg, Victor E., ed. Popular Literature: A History and Guide from the Beginning of Printing to the Year 1897 (Penguin Books, 1977). Oxford Dictionary of National Biography, 60 vols. (Oxford University Press, 2004; electronic resource.) Raymond, Joad, ed. The Oxford History of Popular Print Culture, vol. 1 Cheap Print in Britain and Ireland to 1660 (Oxford University Press, 2011). —. Pamphlets and Pamphleteering in Early Modern Britain (2003; Cambridge University Press, 2006). Reay, Barry. Popular Cultures in England, 1550-1750 (Addison Wesley Longman, 1998). —. ed. Popular Culture in Seventeenth-Century England (1985; Routledge, 1995). Shepard, Leslie. The History of Street Literature (David & Charles, 1973). Ward, A. W. and A. R. Waller, eds. Renascence and Reformation, vol. 3, in The Cambridge History of English and American Literature: An Encyclopedia in Eighteen Volumes (Cambridge University Press, 1907-21; free download). Watt, Tessa. Cheap Print and Popular Piety, 1550-1650 (1991; Cambridge University Press, 1999). Wilson, John Dover. Life in Shakespeare’s England: A Book of Elizabethan Prose (Cambridge University Press, 1920; free download). Wiltenburg, Joy. Disorderly Women and Female Power in the Street Literature of Early Modern England and Germany (University of Virginia Press, 1992). Wright, Louis B. Middle-Class Culture in Elizabethan England (1935; Octagon Books, 1980).

Broadside Ballads Editions and Bibliographies Bodleian Library Broadside Ballads (Bodleian Library, University of Oxford, 1995-; free download).

392

Bibliography

Catalogue of English and American Chapbooks and Broadsides in Harvard College Library (Library of Harvard University, 1905; free download). Chappell, William and Joseph Woodfall Ebsworth, eds. The Roxburghe Ballads, 8 vols. (Stephen Austin & Sons, 1869-1901; free download). Child, Francis James, ed. The English and Scottish Popular Ballads, 10 vols. (Houghton Mifflin, 1882-98; free download; 5 vols., Dover, 1965). A Collection of Seventy-Nine Black-Letter Ballads and Broadsides, Printed in the Reign of Queen Elizabeth, between the Years of 1559 and 1597 (Joseph Lilly, 1867; free download). Collmann, Herbert L., ed. Ballads & Broadsides Chiefly of the Elizabethan Period and Printed in Black-Letter (privately printed for the Roxburghe Club, 1912; free download). English Broadside Ballad Archive (University of California, Santa Barbara, 2003-; free download). The Euing Collection of English Broadside Ballads in the Library of the University of Glasgow (Glasgow, 1971; electronic resource). Fumerton, Patricia, ed. Broadside Ballads from the Pepys Collection: A Selection of Texts, Approaches, and Recordings (Arizona Center for Medieval and Renaissance Studies, 2012). Fumerton, Patricia, Anita Guerrini and Kris McAbee, eds. Ballads and Broadsides in Britain, 1500-1800 (Ashgate, 2010). McShane, Angela, ed. Political Broadside Ballads of Seventeenth-Century England: A Critical Bibliography (Pickering & Chatto, 2011). Rollins, Hyder E., ed. The Pack of Autolycus: Or, Strange and Terrible News of Ghosts...as Told in Broadside Ballads of the Years 1624-1693 (Harvard University Press, 1927; free download). —. ed. An Analytical Index to the Ballad-Entries (1557-1709) in the Registers of the Company of Stationers of London (1924; Tradition Press, 1967; free download). —. ed. A Pepysian Garland: Black-Letter Broadside Ballads of the Years 1595-1639, Chiefly from the Collection of Samuel Pepys (Cambridge University Press, 1922; free download).

Criticism Atkinson, David. The English Traditional Ballad: Theory, Method and Practice (Ashgate, 2002). Buchan, David. The Ballad and the Folk (1972; Tuckwell Press, 1997).

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Fowler, David C. A Literary History of the Popular Ballad (Duke University Press, 1968). Gerould, Gordon Hall. The Ballad of Tradition (Clarendon Press, 1932; free download). Mish, Charles C. “Black Letter as a Social Discriminant in the Seventeenth Century,” PMLA 68 (1953): 627-30. Morison, Stanley. ‘Black Letter’ Text (Cambridge University Press, 1942). Shepard, Leslie. The Broadside Ballad: A Study in Origins and Meaning (1962; Legacy Books, 1978). Simpson, Claude M. The British Broadside Ballad and Its Music (Rutgers University Press, 1966). Skeaping, Lucie. Broadside Ballads: Songs from the Streets, Taverns, Theatres and Countryside (Faber Music, 2005). Würzbach, Natascha. The Rise of the English Street Ballad, 1550-1650, translated by Gayna Walls (1990; Cambridge University Press, 2011).

Gestes of Robin Hood and Other Outlaws Editions and Encyclopedia Carpenter, Kevin. The Robin Hood Encyclopedia (ABC-Clio, 2001). Clawson, William Hall. The Gest of Robin Hood (University of Toronto Library, 1909; free download). Dobson, R. B. and J. Taylor, eds. Rymes of Robyn Hood: An Introduction to the English Outlaw (1976; Sutton Publishing, 2001). Knight, Stephen and Thomas Ohlgren, eds. Robin Hood and Other Outlaw Tales, TEAMS Middle English Texts Series (1997; Medieval Institute Publications, 2000; free download). Ritson, Joseph, ed. Robin Hood: A Collection of All the Ancient Poems, Songs and Ballads Relative to the Celebrated English Outlaw, 2 vols. (T. Egerton and J. Johnson, 1795; free download).

Criticism Baldwin, David. Robin Hood: The English Outlaw Unmasked (2010; Amberley Publishing, 2011). Bellamy, John. Robin Hood: An Historical Enquiry (Indiana University Press, 1985). Blamires, David. Robin Hood: A Hero for All Times ((John Rylands University Library of Manchester, 1998).

394

Bibliography

Carpenter, Kevin, ed. Robin Hood: die vielen Gesichter des edlen Räubers / Robin Hood: The Many Faces of That Celebrated English Outlaw (Bibliotheks- und Informationssystem der Universität Oldenburg, 1995). Hahn, Thomas, ed. Robin Hood in Popular Culture: Violence, Transgression, and Justice (D. S. Brewer, 2000). Harris, P. Valentine. “More about Robin Hood,” Folklore 88 (1977): 23637. Hart, Walter Morris. “Professor Child and the Ballad,” PMLA 21 (1906): 755-807. Hill, Christopher. Liberty against the Law: Some Seventeenth-Century Controversies (1996; Penguin Books, 1998). Hilton, R. H., ed. Peasants, Knights and Heretics: Studies in Medieval English Social History (1977; Cambridge University Press, 1981). —. “The Origins of Robin Hood,” Past and Present 14 (1958): 30-44. Hobsbawm, Eric. Bandits (1969; Orion, 2010). Holt, J. C. Robin Hood (1982; Thames and Hudson, 2011). Keen, Maurice. The Outlaws of Medieval Legend (1961; Routledge, 2001). Kennedy, D. N. “Who Was Robin Hood?” Folklore 66 (1955): 413-15. Klapp, Orrin E. “The Clever Hero,” The Journal of American Folklore 64 (1954): 413-15. Knight, Stephen. Robin Hood: A Mythic Biography (2003; Cornell University Press, 2009). —. ed. Robin Hood: Anthology of Scholarship and Criticism (D. S. Brewer, 1999). —. Robin Hood: A Complete Study of the English Outlaw (WileyBlackwell, 1994). Lowe, Barbara. “The Final Truth about Robin Hood,” Folklore 67 (1956): 106-09. Ordish, T. Fairman. “Folk-Drama,” Folklore 2 (1891): 314-35. Phillips, Helen, ed. Robin Hood: Medieval and Post-Medieval (Four Courts, 2005). Pollard, A. J. Imagining Robin Hood: The Late-Medieval Stories in Historical Context (Routledge, 2004). Potter, Lois, ed. Playing Robin Hood: The Legend as Performance in Five Centuries (University of Delaware Press, 1998). Preston, M. J., M. G. Smith and P. S. Smith. “The Lost Chapbooks,” Folklore 88 (1977): 160-74. Richmond, Colin. “An Outlaw and Some Peasants: The Possible Significance of Robin Hood,” Nottingham Medieval Studies 37 (1993): 90-98.

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Simeone, W. E. “The May Games and the Robin Hood Legend,” The Journal of American Folklore 64 (1951): 265-74. Singman, Jeffrey L. Robin Hood: The Shaping of the Legend (Greenwood Publishing Group, 1998). Steadman, J. M., Jr. “The Dramatization of the Robin Hood Ballads,” Modern Philology 17 (1919): 9-23. Wawn, Andrew. “Robin Hood and the Elizabethans: A Propagandist Note,” Cahiers Élisabéthains: Late Medieval and Renaissance Studies 22 (1982): 87-91. Wiles, David. The Early Plays of Robin Hood (1970; D. S. Brewer, 1981).

Religious Dissension and Superstition Editions and Encyclopedia The Apprehension and Confession of Three Notorious Witches (E. Allde, 1589; free download). A Briefe Description of the Notorious Life of Iohn Lambe Otherwise Called Doctor Lambe. Together with His Ignominious Life (printed in Amsterdam [i.e. London] by, G. Miller, 1628; free download). Gibson, Marion, ed. Reading Witches: Stories of Early English Witches (Routledge, 1999). Marshburn, Joseph H. and Alan R. Velie, eds. Blood and Knavery: A Collection of English Renaissance Pamphlets and Ballads of Crime and Sin (Farleigh Dickinson University Press, 1973). Rollins, Hyder E., ed. A Pepysian Garland: Black-Letter Broadside Ballads of the Years 1595-1639, Chiefly from the Collection of Samuel Pepys (Cambridge University Press, 1922; free download). Ward, A. W. and A. R. Waller, eds. Renascence and Reformation, vol. 3, in The Cambridge History of English and American Literature: An Encyclopedia in Eighteen Volumes (Cambridge University Press, 1907-21; free download).

Criticism Amundsen, Karin. “The Duke’s Devil and Doctor Lambe’s Darling: A Case Study of the Male Witch in Early Modern England,” Psi Sigma Siren 2 (2012), iss. 1, art.2; electronic resource. Bates, A. W. “Birth Defects Described in Elizabethan Ballads,” Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine 93 (2000): 202-07.

396

Bibliography

Bellany, Alastair. “The Murder of John Lambe: Crowd Violence, Court Scandal and Popular Politics in Early Seventeenth-Century England,” Past and Present 200 (2008): 37-76. Bennett, Gillian. “Ghost and Witch in the Sixteenth and Seventeenth Centuries,” Folklore 97 (1986): 3-14. Brooks, Douglas A. Printing and Parenting in Early Modern England (Ashgate, 2005). Campbell, Gordon. “Chidiock Tichborne and T.K.’s Hendecasyllabon,” Notes and Queries 34 (1987): 189. Collinson, Patrick. The Elizabethan Puritan Movement (1967; Oxford University Press, 2004). Crawford, Julie. Marvelous Protestantism: Monstrous Births in PostReformation England (2005; Johns Hopkins University, 2011). Cressy, David. Agnes Bowker’s Cat: Travesties and Transgressions in Tudor and Stuart England (2000; Oxford University Press, 2001). Dickens, A. G. The English Reformation (1964; Pennsylvania State University Press, 2005). Elton, G. R. Reform and Reformation: England 1509-1558 (1977; Hodder Arnold, 1989). Goldstein, Leba M. “The Life and Death of John Lambe,” Guildhall Studies in London History 4 (1979): 19-32. Greaves, Richard L. Society and Religion in Elizabethan England (1981; University of Minnesota Press, 2009). Haigh, Christopher, ed. The English Reformation Revised (1987; Cambridge University Press, 2000). Haller, William. The Rise of Puritanism, Or the Way to the New Jerusalem as Set Forth in Pulpit and Press...1570-1643 (1938; Columbia University Press, 1972). Higham, Florence. Catholic and Reformed: A Study of the Anglican Church, 1559-1662 (1962; SPCK, 1965). Hill, Christopher. Society and Puritanism in Pre-Revolutinary England (1958; Pimlico, 2003). Hirsch, Richard S. M. “The Works of Chidiock Tichborne,” English Literary Renaissance 16 (1986): 303-18 and 17 (1987): 276-77. Hole, Christina. Witchcraft in England (1947; Phillips Press, 2012). Hutton, Ronald. The Rise and Fall of Merry England: The Ritual Year 1400-1700 (1994; Oxford University Press, 2001). Lake, Peter. Moderate Puritans and the Elizabethan Church (1982; Cambridge University Press, 2004). MacFarlane, Alan. Witchcraft in Tudor and Stuart England: A Regional and Comparative Study (1970; Routledge, 2012).

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McLean, Teresa. “The Recusant Legend: Chideock Tichborne,” History Today 32 (1982): 11-14. Murray, Margaret Alice. The Witch-Cult in Western Europe: A Study in Anthropology (Clarendon Press, 1921; free download). Notestein, Wallace. A History of Witchcraft in England from 1558 to 1718 (The American Historical Association, 1911; free download). Paré, Ambroise. On Monsters and Marvels, translated by Janis L. Pallister (1982; University of Chicago Press, 1995). Parker, Kenneth L. The English Sabbath: A Study of Doctrine and Discipline from the Reformation to the Civil War (1988; Cambridge University Press, 2002). Purkiss, Diane. The Witch in History: Early Modern and TwentiethCentury Representations (1996; Routledge, 2004). Rosen, Barbara, ed. Witchcraft in England, 1558-1618 (1969; University of Massachusetts Press, 1991). Scot, Reginald. The Discoverie of Witchcraft (1584; reprinted in1886 by Elliot Stock, free download). Sharpe, James, ed. English Witchcraft 1560-1736, 6 vols. (Pickering & Chatto, 2003). —. Witchcraft in Early Modern England (Longman, 2001). Spufford, Margaret, ed. The World of Rural Dissenters 1520-1725 (1995; Cambridge University Press, 2012). Thomas, Keith. Religion and the Decline of Magic: Studies in Popular Beliefs in Sixteenth- and Seventeenth-Century England (1971; Penguin Global, 2012). Underdown, David. Revel, Riot, and Rebellion: Popular Politics and Culture in England 1603-1660 (1985; Oxford University Press, 1987). Weatherford, John W. Crime and Punishment in the England of Shakespeare and Milton, 1570-1640 (McFarland & Company, 2001). Wilson, Dudley. Signs & Portents: Monstrous Births from the Middle Ages to the Enlightenment (Routledge, 1993).

Crime, Criminals and the London Underworld Editions, Dictionaries and Histories Baring-Gould, S. Devonshire Characters and Strange Events, chap. 9 (John Lane The Bodley Head, 1908; free download). Coleman, Julie. A History of Cant and Slang Dictionaries, 4 vols. (Oxford University Press, 2004-10).

398

Bibliography

Dyce, Alexander, ed. The Works of Thomas Middleton, vol. 5 (Edward Lumley, 1840; free download). Gossett, Suzanne, ed. Thomas Middleton in Context (Cambridge University Press, 2011). Grosart, Alexander B., ed. The Blacke Booke’s Messenger, vol. 11, in The Life and Complete Works in Prose and Verse of Robert Greene in Fifteen Volumes (privately printed, 1881-86; free download). Harrison, G. B, ed. The Blacke Bookes Messenger 1592 and ‘Cuthbert Conny-Catcher,’ The Defence of Conny Catching, 1592, by Robert Greene (John Lane The Bodley Head, 1924; free download). Johnson, Richard. Look on Me, London. I Am an Honest Englishman, Ripping Up the Bowels of Mischiefe, Lurking in Thy Sub-burbs and Precincts (printed by N. O. for Thomas Archer, 1613; free download). Judges, A. V., ed. The Elizabethan Underworld, vol. 1, in Key Writings on Subcultures, 1535-1727: Classics from the Underworld (1930; Routledge, 2003). Kinney, Arthur F., ed. Rogues, Vagabonds & Sturdy Beggars: A New Gallery of Tudor and Early Stuart Rogue Literature Exposing the Lives, Times, and Cozening Tricks of the Elizabethan Underworld (1973; University of Massachusetts Press, 1990). Marshburn, Joseph H. and Alan R. Velie, eds. Blood and Knavery: A Collection of English Renaissance Pamphlets and Ballads of Crime and Sin (Farleigh Dickinson University Press, 1973). Taylor, Gary and John Lavagnino, eds. Thomas Middleton: The Collected Works (2007; Oxford University Press, 2010).

Criticism Arnold, David O., ed. The Sociology of Subcultures (1970; Glendessary Press, 1973). Aydelotte, Frank. Elizabethan Rogues and Vagabonds (Clarendon Press, 1913; free download). Beier, A. L. Masterless Men: The Vagrancy Problem in England 15601640 (Methuen, 1985). Burke, Thomas. The Streets of London through the Centuries (1940; B. T. Batsford, 1949). Chandler, Frank Wadleigh. The Literature of Roguery, 2 vols. (Houghton, Mifflin, 1907; free download). Cockburn, J. S., ed. Crime in England 1550-1800 (Princeton University Press, 1977).

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Dionne, Craig and Steve Mentz, eds. Rogues and Early Modern English Culture (2004; University of Michigan Press, 2007). Gelder, Ken. Subcultures: Cultural Histories and Social Practice (Routledge, 2007). Hirsch, Richard S. M. “The Source of Richard Johnson’s ‘Look on Me London,’” English Language Notes 13 (1975): 107-13. Lievsay, John Leon. “Newgate Penitents: Further Aspects of Elizabethan Pamphlet Sensationalism,” Huntington Library Quarterly 7 (1943): 4769. Long, Michael. “Transgression and Cultural Taboo: Constructing the Criminal in English Renaissance Rogue Literature,” Cahiers Élisabéthains: Late Medieval and Renaissance Studies 54 (1998): 125. Melnikoff, Kirk and Edward Gieskes, eds. Writing Robert Greene: Essays on England’s First Notorious Professional Writer (Ashgate, 2008). Middleton, Thomas (?). The Blacke Booke (printed by T. C. for Jeffrey Chorlton, 1604; Miskatonic University Press, 2003, electronic resource). SalgƗdo, GƗmini. The Elizabethan Underworld (1977; History Press, 2006). Sharpe, James. Crime in Early Modern England 1550-1750 (1984; Addison, Wesley, Longman, 1999). Sundrye Strange and Inhumaine Murthers, Lately Committed. The First of a Father....The Second of Master Page of Plymoth (printed by Thomas Scarlet, 1591; free download). Taylor, Gary and John Lavagnino, eds. Thomas Middleton and Early Modern Textual Culture: A Companion to the Collected Works (Oxford University Press, 2007).

Social Drama Editions and Bibliographies Bentley, G. E. The Jacobean and Caroline Stage, 7 vols. (Clarendon Press, 1941-68). Brooke, C. F. Tucker, ed. The Shakespeare Apocrypha: Being a Collection of Fourteen Plays Which Have Been Ascribed to Shakepeare (Clarendon Press, 1908; free download). Chambers, E. K. The Elizabethan Stage, 4 vols. (Clarendon Press, 1923; free download).

400

Bibliography

Jupin, Arvin H., ed. Mucedorus: A Contextual Study and Modern-Spelling Edition (Garland, 1987). Kirschbaum, Leo. “The Texts of ‘Mucedorus,’” The Modern Language Review 50 (1955): 1-5. Kozlenko, William, ed. Disputed Plays of William Shakespeare (Hawthorn Books, 1974). “The Lamentable Tragedy of Locrine”; and “Mucedorus,” Project Gutenburg Etext (1998; free download). Logan, Terence P. and Denzell S. Smith, eds. The Predecessors of Shakespeare: A Survey and Bibliography of Recent Studies in English Renaissance Drama (University of Nebraska Press, 1973). A Most Pleasant Comedie of Mucedorus...with the Merie Conceites of Mouse (printed for William Iones, 1598; free download). Warnke, Karl and Ludwig Proescholdt, eds. The Comedy of Mucedorus (Max Niemeyer, 1878; free download).

Criticism Bennett, Josephine, W. Oscar Cargill and Vernon Hall, Jr., eds. Studies in the English Renaissance Drama: In Memory of Karl Julius Holzknecht (1959; Literary Licensing, 2011). Bradbrook, M. C. The Growth and Structure of Elizabethan Comedy (1955; Cambridge University Press, 2013). Braunmuller, A. R. and Michael Hattaway, eds. The Cambridge Companion to English Renaissance Drama (1990; Cambridge University Press, 2007). Casson, John. Enter Pursued by a Bear: The Unknown Plays of Shakespeare-Neville (Dolman Scott, 2009). Cobb, Christopher J. The Staging of Romance in Late Shakespeare: Text and Theatrical Technique (University of Delaware Press, 2007). Finkelstein, Richard. “Censorship and Forgiven Violence in ‘Mucedorus,’” Parergon, 17 (1999): 89-108. Grant, Teresa. “White Bears in ‘Mucedorus,’ ‘The Winter’s Tale,’ and ‘Oberon, the Fairy Prince,’” Notes and Queries 48 (2001): 311-13. Gurr, Andrew. The Shakespearean Stage 1574-1642 (1970; Cambridge University Press, 2009). Hattaway, Michael. Elizabethan Popular Theatre: Plays in Performance (1982; Routledge, 2013). Hewitt, David. “The Very Pompes of the Divell—Popular and Folk Elements in Elizabethan and Jacobean Drama,” The Review of English Studies 25 (1949): 10-23.

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Peachman, John. “Links between ‘Mucedorus’ and ‘The Tragical History, Admirable Atchievements and Various Events of Guy of Warwick,’” Notes and Queries 53 (2006): 464-67. Stodder, Joseph H. “‘Mucedorus’ and ‘The Birth of Merlin’ at the Los Angeles Globe,” Shakespeare Quarterly 41 (1990): 368-72.

Chapbook Narratives Editions and Bibliographies Bauer, Susan. Tom Thumb: Primary and Secondary Bibliographies (The Camelot Project of the University of Rochester, free download). Halliwell, James O. A Catalogue of Chap-books, Garlands, and Popular Histories, in the Possession of James Orchard Halliwell (privately printed, 1849; freeload). The Life of Long Meg of Westminster (printed for Robert Bird, 1635; free download). MacDonald, Margaret Read, ed. Tom Thumb (Oryx Press, 1993). Meriton, John, ed. Small Books for the Common Man: A Descriptive Bibliography (Oak Knoll Press, 2010). Thompson, Roger, ed. Samuel Pepys’ “Penny Merriments”: Being a Collection of Chapbooks, Full of Histories, Jests...with Comments on the Times (Columbia University Press, 1977). Tom Thumbe, His Life and Death: Wherein Is Declared Many Maruailous Acts of Manhood, Full of Wonder, and Strange Merriments (printed for Iohn Wright, 1630; free download). Welsh, Charles and William H. Tillinghast, eds. Catalogue of English and American Chapbooks and Broadsides in Harvard College Library (Library of Harvard University Bibliographical Contributions 56, 1905; free download). The Witch of the Woodlands, or, The Coblers New Translation (printed for John Stafford, 1655; free download).

Criticism Billington, Sandra and Miranda Green, eds. The Concept of the Goddess (1996; Routledge, 1999). Capp, Bernard. “Long Meg of Westminster: A Mystery Solved,” Notes and Queries 45 (1998): 302-04.

402

Bibliography

Gartenberg, Patricia. “An Elizabethan Wonder Woman: ‘The Life and Fortunes of Long Meg of Westminster,’” The Journal of Popular Culture 17 (1983): 49-58. Neuburg, Victor E. The Penny Histories: A Study of Chapbooks for Younger Readers Over Two Centuries (1968; Harcourt, Brace & World, 1969). Shaw, Patricia. “Mad Moll and Merry Meg: The Roaring Girl as Popular Heroine in Elizabethan and Jacobean Writings” (University of Oviedo, free download). Spooner, B. C. “Drolls and Chapbooks,” Folklore 87 (1976): 105-12. Spufford, Margaret. Small Books and Pleasant Histories: Popular Fiction and Its Readership in Seventeenth-Century England (1981; Cambridge University Press, 1985). Staub, Susan C., ed. Nature’s Cruel Stepdames: Murderous Women in the Street Literature of Seventeenth Century England (2004; Duquesne University Press, 2005). Waage, Frederick O. “Meg and Moll: Two Renaissance London Heroines,” The Journal of Popular Culture 20 (1986): 105-17. Weiss, Harry B. A Book about Chapbooks: The People’s Literature of Bygone Times (1942; Folklore Associates, 1969).

Jest-Books Editions Hazlitt, W. Carew, ed. Shakespeare Jest-Books: Reprints of the Early and Very Rare Jest-Books Supposed to Have Been Used by Shakespeare, 3 vols. (Willis & Sotheran, 1864; free download). Kahrl, Stanley J. and Curt F. Bühler, eds. “Merie Tales of the Mad Men of Gotam” and “The History of Tom Thumbe” (Northwestern University Press, 1965). Manley, Lawrence, ed. London in the Age of Shakespeare: An Anthology (Pennsylvania State University Press, 1986). Munro, Ian, ed. “A Womans Answer Is Neuer to Seke”: Early Modern Jestbooks, 1526-1635 (2006; Ashgate, 2007). Wardroper, John, ed. Jest upon Jest: A Selection from the Jestbooks and Collections of Merry Tales Published from the Reign of Richard III to George III (Routledge & Kegan Paul, 1970). Zall, Paul M., ed. A Nest of Ninnies and Other English Jestbooks of the Seventeenth Century (1970; University of Nebraska Press, 1979).

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—. ed. “A Hundred Merry Tales” and Other English Jestbooks of the Fifteenth and Sixteenth Centuries (1963; University of Nebraska Press, 1977).

Criticism Billington, Sandra. A Social History of the Fool (1984; Faber and Faber, 2014). Bremmer, Jan and Herman Roodenburg, eds. A Cultural History of Humour: From Antiquity to the Present Day (Polity Press, 1997). Farnham, William Edward. “John (Henry) Scogan,” Modern Language Review 16 (1921): 120-28. Field, John Edward. The Myth of the Pent Cuckoo: A Study in Folklore (Elliot Stock, 1913; free download). Hale, David G. “Thomas Colwell: Elizabethan Printer,” Library 19 (1964): 223-26. Hornback, Robert. The English Clown Tradition from the Middle Ages to Shakespeare (2009; D. S. Brewer, 2013). Kahrl, Stanley J. “The Medieval Origins of the Sixteenth-Century English Jest-books,” Studies in the Renaissance 13 (1966): 166-83. Reinke-Williams, Tim. “Misogyny, Jest-books and Male Youth Culture in Seventeenth-Century England,” Gender & History 21 (2009): 324-39. Schlauch, Margaret. Antecedents of the English Novel, 1400-1600: From Chaucer to Deloney (1963; Oxford University Press, 1965). Southworth, John. Fools and Jesters at the English Court (1980; History Press, 2011). Takamiya, Toshiyuki and Richard Beadle, eds. Chaucer to Shakespeare: Essays in Honour of Shinsuke Ando (D. S. Brewer, 1992). Welsford, Enid. The Fool: His Social and Literary History (1922; Peter Smith, 1987). Wilson, Frank Percy. “The English Jestbooks of the Sixteenth and Early Seventeenth Centuries,” Huntington Library Quarterly 2 (1939): 12158. Woodbridge, Linda. “Jest-books, the Literature of Roguery, and the Vagrant Poor in Renaissance England,” English Literary Renaissance 33 (2003): 201-10. Wright, Thomas. A History of Caricature and Grotesque in Literature and Art (1865; Chatto & Windus, 1875, free download).

404

Bibliography

Cavalier and Roundhead Editions Lagomarsino, David and Charles T. Wood, eds. The Trial of Charles I: A Documentary History (Dartmouth College Press, 1989). MacKay, Charles, ed. The Cavalier Songs and Ballads of England from 1642 to 1648 (Griffin Bohn, 1863; free download). The Ranters Ranting (B. Alsop, 1650; electronic resource). Raymond, Joad, ed. Making the News: An Anthology of the Newsbooks of Revolutionary England 1641-1660 (Windrush Press, 1993). Rump: Or an Exact Collection of the Choycest Poems and Songs Relating to the Late Times, 2 vols. (printed for Henry Brome and Henry Marsh, 1662; free download). Sharp, Andrew, ed. The English Levellers (1998; Cambridge University Press, 2008). Smith, Nigel, ed. A Collection of Ranter Writings from the 17th Century (1983; Junction Books, 1984).

Criticism Anselment, Raymond A. Loyalist Resolve: Patient Fortitude in the English Civil War (1988; Associated University Presses, 1989). Capp, Bernard. England’s Culture Wars: Puritan Reformation and Its Enemies in the Interregnum, 1649-1660 (Oxford University Press, 2012). Cohn, Norman. The Pursuit of the Millennium: Revolutionary Millenarians and Mystical Anarchists of the Middle Ages (1957; Oxford University Press, 1990). Corns, Thomas N. Uncloistered Virtue: English Political Literature, 16401660 (Clarendon Press, 1992). Ellens, G. F. S. “The Ranters Ranting: Reflections on a Ranting Counter Culture,” Church History: Studies in Christianity and Culture 40 (1971): 91-107. Fletcher, Anthony. The Outbreak of the English Civil War (1981; Bloomsbury Academic, 1999). Hill, Christopher. The World Turned Upside Down: Radical Ideas during the English Revolution (1972; Penguin Books, 1991). Holmes, Clive. “The Trial and Execution of Charles I,” The Historical Journal 53 (2010): 289-316.

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Holstun, James, ed. Pamphlet Wars: Prose in the English Revolution (1992; Routledge, 2013). Hutton, Ronald. The Royalist Effort 1642-1646 (1982; Routledge, 2004). Levy, Leonard W. Blasphemy: Verbal Offense against the Sacred, from Moses to Salman Rushdie (1993; Routledge, 2007). McElligott, Jason and David L. Smith, eds. Royalists and Royalism during the Interregnum (Manchester University Press, 2010). ņņņņ, eds. Royalists and Royalism during the English Civil Wars (2007; Cambridge University Press, 2011). McElligott, Jason. Royalism, Print and Censorship in Revolutionary England (Boydell Press, 2007). Morison, Stanley. The English Newspaper: An Account of the Physical Development of Journals Printed in London 1622-1932 (1932; Cambridge University Press, 2009). Morton, A. L. The World of the Ranters: Religious Radicalism in the English Revolution (1970; Lawrence & Wishart, 1979). Raymond, Joad. The Invention of the Newspaper: English Newsbooks 1641-1649 (1996; Oxford University Press, 2008). Sharpe, Kevin and Stephen N. Zwicker, eds. Reading, Society and Politics in Early Modern England (2003; Cambridge University Press, 2010). Smith, Nigel. Literature & Revolution in England, 1640-1660 (1994; Yale University Press, 2013). Ward, A. W. and A. R. Waller, eds. Renascence and Reformation, vol. 3, in The Cambridge History of English and American Literature: An Encyclopedia in Eighteen Volumes (Cambridge University Press, 1907-21; free download). Williams, Kevin. Read All About It! A History of the British Newspaper (2008; Routledge, 2010). Worden, Blair. The Rump Parliament 1648-1653 (1974; Cambridge University Press, 2013).

Drolls Editions Acteon & Diana; with a Pastoral Storie of the Nimph Oenone: Followed by the Several Conceited Humours of Bumpkin the Huntsman. Hobbinal the Shepherd. Singing Simpkin, and John Swabber the Seaman. By Rob. Cox. Acted at the Red Bull with Great Applause. The Second Edition, with the Addition of Simpleton the Smith, Not Before Extant (printed for Edward Archer, 1656; free download).

406

Bibliography

Clare, Janet, ed. Drama of the English Republic: Plays and Entertainments (2002; Manchester University Press, 2006). Clegg, Roger and Lucie Skeaping. Singing Simpkin and Other Bawdy Jigs: Musical Comedy on the Shakespearean Stage; Scripts, Music and Context (University of Exeter Press, 2013). Elson, John James, ed. The Wits, or, Sport upon Sport, by Francis Kirkman (Cornell University Press, 1932; free download). The Wits, or, Sport upon Sport. In Select Pieces of Drollery, Digested into Scenes by Way of Dialogue...Part I. (printed for Henry Marsh, 1662; free download). The Wits, or, Sport upon Sport. Being a Curious Collection of Several Drols and Farces...With Loud Laughter, and Great Applause (printed for Fran[cis] Kirkman, 1673; free download).

Criticism Astington, J. “‘The Wits’ Illustration, 1662,” Theatre Notebook 47 (1993): 122-40. Baskervill, C. R. The Elizabethan Jig and Related Song Drama (1929; Literary Licensing, 2012). —. “Mummers’ Wooing Plays in England,” Modern Philology 21 (1924): 225-72. —. "Some Evidence for Early Romantic Plays in England—Concluded,” Modern Philology 14 (1916): 467-512. Butler, Martin. Theatre and Crisis 1632-1642 (1984; Cambridge University Press, 2009). Cameron, W. J. “Francis Kirkman’s ‘The Wits’ 1672-1673,” Notes and Queries 202 (1957): 106-08. Cedric, C., ed. Patronage, Politics, and Literary Traditions in England 1558-1658 (1991; Wayne State University Press, 1993). Doran, John. The History of Court Fools (Richard Bentley, 1858; free download). Dutton, Richard, ed. The Oxford Handbook of Early Modern Theatre (2009; Oxford University Press, 2011). Evans, Herbert Arthur, ed. English Masques (Blackie & Son, 1897; free download). Griffith, Eva. “New Material for a Jacobean Theatre: The Red Bull Theatre on the Seckford Estate,” Theatre Notebook 55 (2001): 5-23. Hotson, Leslie. The Commonwealth and Restoration Stage (Harvard University Press, 1928; free download).

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Lawrence, William J. Pre-Restoration Stage Studies (Harvard University Press, 1927; free download). Randall, Dale B. J. Winter Fruit: English Drama 1642-1660 (University Press of Kentucky, 1995). Rollins, Hyder E. “A Contribution to the History of the English Commonwealth Drama,” Studies in Philology 18 (1921): 267-333; free download. Spooner, B. C. “Drolls and Chapbooks,” Folklore 87 (1976): 105-12. Thomson, Peter. On Actors Acting (2000; University of Exeter Press, 2003). Welsford, Enid. The Fool: His Social and Literary History (1935; Peter Smith Publisher, 1987). Wiseman, Susan. Drama and Politics in the English Civil War (1998; Cambridge University Press, 2006).

TITLE INDEX

Adam Bell, Clim of the Clough, and William of Cloudesly, 53 Against Filthy Writing, and Such Like Delighting, 2 Apprehension and Confession of Three Notorious Witches, The, 80

Humble Petition of the House of Commons, The, 301 Humour of Hobbinal, The, 373 Humour of Simple, The, 355 Humours of Simpkin. A Continued Farce, The, 365 Independents Resolve, The, 314

Blacke Bookes Messenger, The, 105 Briefe Sonet Declaring the Lamentation of Beckles, A, 13 Cameronian Cat, The, 340 Caveat for Cut-purses, A, 16 Character of a Roundhead, The, 292 Conceits, Clinches, Flashes, and Whimzies, 285 Cromwell’s Coronation, 339 Cucking of a Scould, The, 4 Diphilo and Granida, 376 Ditty Delightfull of Mother Watkins Ale, A, 24 Diurnall Out of the North, A, 295 Diurnal Occvrrances, The, 293 Doctors of Dull-Head Colledge, The, 349 Encounter, The, 377 Great Boobee, The, 9 Great Leveller Petition of 11 September 1648, The, 317 He-Deuil, A, 28 Hendecasyllabon T. K. in Cygneam Cantionem Chidiochi Tychborne, 80

King Ahasuerus and Queen Esther, 364 King Charls His Speech Made upon the Scaffold at Whitehall-Gate, 322 Last Will and Testament of Lawrence Lucifer, The, 117 Letter from Generall Monck, November the 12th [1659], A, 342 Letter Written by Chidiock Tichborne to His Wife, the Night Before He Suffered, A, 78 Life of Long Meg of Westminster, The, 204 Light Hearts a Iewell, A, 20 London City Petition 1643, The, 296 Looke on Me London, 126 Man in the Moon, The, 328, 328 Mercurius Britanicus, 305 Mercurius Politicus, 334, 338, 341 Mercvrivs Avlicvs, 307 Merie Tales of the Mad Men of Gotam, 244 Merrie Conceited Iests, of George Peele, 264

The Common Touch: Volume I Most Pleasant Comedy of Mucedorus, A, 143 New-Yeeres-Gift for the Pope, A, 91 Oliver Cromwell’s Speech Dissolving the Rump of the Long Parliament, 337 On the Kings Returne, 344 Pasqvils Iestes, Mixed with Mother Bunches Merriments, 269 Perfect Diurnall of the Passages in Parliament, A, 294, 295 Perfect Occurrences of Every Daie Iournall, 321 Pleasant Conceites of Old Hobson the Merry Londoner, The, 273 Pleasant Countrey New Ditty: Merrily Shewing How to Driue the Cold Winter Away, A, 32 Ranters Ranting, The, 329 Robin Hood and Little John, 39 Robin Hood and the Friar and Robin Hood and the Potter, 44 Sack-Full of Newes, The, 251 Scoggins Iests, 247 Scots Arrears, The, 312 Short and Sweet, 305 Song, A, 307 Song in Defence of Christmass, A, 315

409

Tarltons Iests, 255 Tom Thumbe, His Life and Death, 193 Tragedy of Doctor Lambe, The, 93 True and Most Dreadfull Discourse of a Woman Possessed with the Deuill, A, 72 True Description of Two Monsterous Children, The, 68 True Discourse of a Cruel and Inhumaine Murder, Committed vpon M. Padge of Plymouth, A, 99 Tychbornes Elegie, 77 Upon Mr. Pyms Picture, 291 Upon the General Pardon Passed by the Rump, 334 Venus and Adonis, or, The Maid’s Philosophy, 371 Vive Le Roy, 304 Weekly Intelligencer of the Common-Wealth, The, 339 When the King Enjoys His Own Again, 310 Wit and Mirth, 279 Witchcraft Act of 1604, 89 Witch of the Woodlands, The, 232 Zealous Puritan, The, 289

FIRST-LINE INDEX

Adonis, wilt thou now from me be gone?, 371 All hayle to the dayes, 32 All you that desirous are to behold, 91 All you that merry lives doe lead, 20 A trifling toy, a iest of no account, pardie, 266 A wedded wife there was, 4 Be we leefe or be we loath, 221 Blind Cupid hath made my heart for to bleed, 366 Come drawer and fill us about some wine, 314 Domine, Domine, unde hoc?, 211 Eight’s before eighty, all men may descry, 281 For the price of a barrel of beere, 269 For there is no man which in love to mee, 258 Four hundred thousand pounds!, 312 Gentlemen, this fellow with this face of mapple, 258 He was begotten, borne, and cryed, 276 If any aske you, who curried your bones?, 221 If Charles thou wilt but be so kind, 301 In Arthurs court Tom Thumbe did live, 193 I once a shepherd was upon the plains, 376 I read how Affrique land was fraught, 68 I wealthy was of late, 131 Know this my brethren heaven is clear, 307 Long have we waited for a happy end, 344 Lysten to [me] my mery men all, 50 Mery it was in grene forest, 53 Most sacred Majestie, whose great deserts, 143 My brethren all attend, 289

The Common Touch: Volume I My friends if you will understand, 9 My loving good neighbours, that comes to beholde, 13 My masters and friends and good people draw near, 16 My prime of youth is but a frost of cares, 77 Neighbours sease to mone, 93 Now Christmass is come, let us beat up the drum, 315 Now stand ye forth my mery men all, 44 O born in days when wits were fresh and clear, 98 Oenone fair, whose beauty does enrich us, 374 Oh! Mother let me have a husband kinde, 358 Oliver, Oliver, take up thy crown, 339 Pip in or nose in, chuse you whether, 257 Reader, behold the counterfeit of him, 291 Rejoyce, rejoyce, ye Cavaliers, 334 Tarlton I will tell thee a iest, 259 That’s certaine, sir, it is no lye, 259 There was a Cameronian cat, 340 There was a maid this other day, 24 This is the merry meeting of, 332 Thy prime of youth is frozen with thy faults, 80 What and if I be (boy), 261 What Booker doth prognosticate, 310 What creature’s this with his short hairs, 292 What meane the rimes that run thus large in every shop to sell?, 2 What though the zealots, pull down the prelates, 304 What would my queen, what would you have of me?, 364 When I a maiden was, 28 When Robin Hood was about twenty years old, 39 Wise men suffer, good men grieve, 305 Woe worth thee Tarlton, 260

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