The Anthropology of Friendship 9781859733103

Table of contents :
Cover
Half Title
Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication
Contents
Notes on Contributors
Preface
1 The Anthropology of Friendship: Enduring Themes and Future Possibilities
2 People Who Can Be Friends: Selves and Social Relationships
3 Friendship : The Hazards of an Ideal Relationship
4 The Importance of Friendship in the Absence of States, According to the Icelandic Sagas
5 Building Affinity through Friendship
6 The 'Bones' of Friendship: Playing Dominoes with Arthur of an Evening in the Eagle Pub
7 Expressions of Interest: Friendship and guanxi in Chinese Societies
8 Friendship, Kinship and the Life Course in Rural Auvergne
9 Friends and Networks as Survival Strategies in North-East Europe
10 Localized Kin and Globalized Friends: Religious Modernity and the 'Educated Self' in East Africa
Index

Citation preview

Friendship of Anthropology The

Coleman Simon and Bell Sandra by Edited Friendship of Anthropology The

Oxon Abingdon, Park, Milton Square, Park 2 2020 Published Publishers Berg by published First Northants. Wellingborough, Typesetting, JS Typeset (hbk) 978-1-8597-3310-3 ISBN13: Library. British book A Cataloguing-in-Publication British Congress. Library from available record catalogue A Data Cataloging-in-Publication Congress Library infringe. to intent explanation identification for only used are and trademarks, registered trademarks names corporate Product Notice: publishers. from writing permission without system, retrieval storage information any recording, photocopying including invented, hereafter known now means, other mechanical, electronic, by form any in utilised reproduced or reprinted be may book this part No reserved. rights All 1999 Coleman Simon and Bell Sandra © Copyright business informa Group, Francis & Taylor the of imprint an is Routledge 10017 NY York, New Avenue, Third 605 4RN OX14

volume. this support and friendship of study the to contribution his for Firth Raymond Sir To

Contents

Notes

on

Contributors xiii

Preface

1

The

Anthropology

of Friendship:

Enduring

Themes and Future

Possibilities

2

People

Who Can Be Friends: Selves and Social

3 Friendship

:

The Hazards of an Ideal

Relationships

21

39

Relationship

The Importance of Friendship in the Absence of States, According 4 to

the Icelandic

5 Building

59

Sagas

Affinity through Friendship

The 'Bones' of Friendship: 6

Evening

in the

Eagle

Playing

79

Dominoes with Arthur of an

Pub

7

Expressions

of Interest:

8

Friendship, Kinship

9

Friends and Networks

99

Friendship

and guanxi in Chinese Societies

and the Life Course in Rural Auvergne

as

Survival

Strategies

in North-East

Europe

119

137

155

10

Localized Kin and Globalized Friends: and the 'Educated Self' in East Africa

Index

Religious Modernity 169

185

Notes

on

Contributors

Ray Abrahams has carried out a wide range of research in East Africa (Tanzania and Uganda) and north-eastern Europe (Finland and Estonia). He has published Dr

several books and many papers on this work. In 1991 he became the first Western to carry out field research in modern rural Estonia, and he was awarded

scholar

the Rivers Medal of the

Royal Anthropological

Institute in 1996 for his work

on

socialism and its aftermath in that country and elsewhere. His most recent book Vigilant Citizens (1998) is a comparative study of vigilantism and the state in a

variety of historical and contemporary Churchill Mario I.

contexts. Dr Abrahams is

a

Fellow of

at the

University

College, Cambridge. Aguilar is Chair of Ritual Studies, School of Divinity

of St. Andrews, Scotland. His latest books include Being Oromo in Kenya (1998), The Rwanda Genocide (1998), and an edited collection The Politics of Age and

Gerontocracy

in

Africa (1998).

the University of Durham. She has carried fieldwork among Buddhists in Britain and with an international theatre leading to publications in several academic journals including the Journal

Sandra Bell teaches out

anthropology

at

company,

of Contemporary Religion, Novo Religio and The Contemporary Theatre Review. With Elisa Sobo she is co-editor of Celibacy, Culture and Society: The Anthropology ofSexual Abstinence, University of Wisconsin Press (in press). James G. Carrier teaches

anthropology

at

the University of Durham. He has

done fieldwork in

Papua New Guinea and historical research on exchange and circulation in Western societies. His most recent books are Gifts and Commodities:

Exchange and

Western

Capitalism since

1700

(Routledge, 1994)

and

Occidentalism: (Oxford, 1995), Meanings of Images of (Berg, 1997, the West

the Market

editor) and Virtual ism: A New Political Economy (Berg, 1998, co-edited with Daniel Miller). Simon Coleman teaches at the

Department of Anthropology, University of Durham. His other research interests include the globalization of conservative Protestantism, and pilgrimage. He has carried out fieldwork in Sweden, England and the United States. Recent works include Pilgrimage: Sacred Travel and Sacred Space in the

'Anthropology, 1997. left when Department chair years five twentyfaculty was 1971. Champaign UrbanaIllinois Anthropology Ph.D. received University. State Penn anthropology professor Durrenberger Paul E. Simpson). R. editor, (1998, Guide Resource A Anthropology: Eisner) J. (1995, Religions World Modem Explorations Essays: Icelandic Illinois Politics All It's 1992), Iceland Medieval Dynamics 1996), Kansas, Press (University Soundings Coast Gulf Recent Chicago. Iowa, Alabama, Mississippi, Iceland, Asia, South-East lowland Asia, South-East highland ethnographic Iowa (University Modern Images Palsson, Gisli 1995), Publishing, Newfoundland. Memorial Emeritus Paine Robert AA. including journals, anthropological various Chicago union work ethnographic recently he Erem Suzan With 1998). York New (State Communities. Rural Profits Pigs, Thu, Kendall with Study Advanced for Collegium Swedish Fellow Research formerly. and, at is Pásson Gésli 1970. Vol.VI:2, Humanitas Friendship' to Approaches 'Anthropological 1969 Vol.5:1, (N.S.) Man Culture' "Middle-Class" Analysis Exploratory An Friendship: Search in friendship subject publications Israel. Norway Newfoundland, his from widely published has Sweden. Uppsala, Sciences Social fieldwork Anthropology Professor Rapport Nigel Publishers, Academic (Harewood Turn Linguistic Iceland Ethnography, Savants: Life Textual The is book latest language. fishing anthropology, ecological on articles number a books several include writings His Islands. Verde Cape Andrews. St University at Studies Philosophical School 1986) (1984—85; Newfoundland (1980-81), England research participant-observation conducted (1988—89). Israel and 1994) (Manchester Forster EM. Writings Literature Passion and Prose 'The 1993); University (Edinburgh Village English an in World-Views Diverse 1987); Press, (ISER City the in Conversation Anthropological An Violence: Talking author He 1995). (Routledge, Consciousness Questions of co-editor done (Rudi

Economics. Anthropology.

Kong fseldwork extensive conducted (Berg, Self Rewriting Auto/Ethnography. 1996) (Cambridge, France Rural Identity Education Arlington. Texas University Associate is Reed-Danahay Deborah Anthropology.' Cultural Studies 'European series book Press Heritage World editor also France, region Auvergne up grew who people written memoirs published study undertaking currently fieldwork Brazil. Janeiro, Estadual Universidade Assistant She School London Ph.D. her received Rezende Barcellos Claudia villages. French 1996), (Routledge, Barnard Alan Spencer Jonathan by Anthropology, Social Encyclopedia for friendship entry include publications Her Janeiro. Rio development housing squatters, research conducted has Calgary. University Anthropology Department the at Professor Associate an is Smart Alan 1997). (2), 5 Imagem, e Antropologia (Caderrtos Televisão' na Empregada 1995) June PPGAS, do (Comunicaċões Londres' em Campo de Trabalho e Amizade Brasileira: Amiga 'A from investment cross-border (1982—87), He (1995—). cities Canadian restructuring social on (1987), China Hong Clearance Squatters Room: Making author in articles volumes. edited number a and Space Society Society, City Anthropology, Critique Cultural Research, Regional and Urban of Journal International The

Preface

congratulate the editors on their perception and enterprise in organizing this set of essays on friendship, and I am complimented in having been asked to write a preface to the volume. Friendship is an important social phenomenon. Among the many issues it raises I consider briefly only its ubiquity, its diversity (even ambiguity) and its practicality. Indication of the ubiquity of the concept and practice of friendship is given by the range of essays in this volume. My own personal experience would support from numerous this. Over a long life 1 have had friends many now dead countries and spheres of interest. These have included kin-friends, a real category to be distinguished from simple kin. My friends have given me their trust, support, understanding and affection in a variety of circumstances. Some friendships have arisen from my professional career, special anthropological colleagues in China, Malaysia, Japan, Hawaii, Australia, South Africa, New Zealand, Scandinavia, as well as in Britain and North America. Other of my friendships, stemming in part from common interest in art and music, have been with an Austrian family, a Swiss wool buyer, a Russian teacher of languages. With two school-friends in New Zealand, one in later life a journalist and the other a zoologist and the director of the national museum, I maintained contact until they died, more than sixty years I

—

after

our

—

first acquaintance. I have reason to think that in all these cases enough exchange and reciprocated sentiment were present to entitle

threads of intellectual the

friendship, despite cultural differences. A special kind of anthropological friendship may come from the circumstances of fieldwork. At work in the field anthropologists rely very greatly on help from relationship

particular

men

their chief

to

be termed

and

women.

key sympathy and understanding confidant,

As their

informants, in

or

that

can

grows with what has been called

day by day talk and sharing of develop with a certain individual

experiences, as

mentor

a

and

personal relationship is formed and acknowledged both. Often such by relationship has a special vernacular name, equivalent to friendship. Sometimes the ties created are of such ritual kind that they may be described, as I have termed them, 'bond-friendship'. Nearly forty years ago Joseph B. Casagrande edited a set of essays in which a score of anthropologists wrote of their relationship with friends among the people whom they studied (Casagrande 1960). Because the relation usually bridged two cultures, showed great reciprocity and differed from friendship between people of a similar background, Casagrande so

a

definite

intimacy

psychoanalyst membership especially skills, local informant, who initially whereas superiority, permanent her him gives skill whose analyst, upon dependent patient A friendship. quality essential out bring differences established. intimacy degree considerable where patient, psychoanalyst between relation analogy out, pointed Cassagrande note, also character. striking affirm would uniqueness, agreeing entirely Without association. human forms among itunique described Preface does. never psychiatrist way her/himself reveals anthropologist ideas, interplay attachment emotional does so develops, trust respect As ignored. relatively exchanges mutual built tends aspect this reached, personality equality goes time but greater, usually resources material command anthropologist's match. learn tries he/she language, vernacular formed bond-friendship case, my knit soul 'the which Jonathan David been model appeal popular Of scholars. classical known well are Pylades Orestes (Pythias), Phintias Damon Patroclus, Achilles friends exploits names legendary real history. long another form one Friendship affection. warmth other greeted we communication without years twenty than after community island Ivisited when was intelligence, dignity great man Islands) (Solomon Tikopia chief leading son Fenuatara, Pa too Psychologists ). 1988 (Coslett fiction Victorian female scrutiny 1992) (White love neighbourly fathers Christian study through amicitia Cicero by analysis ranged have explorations literary And friends'. 'particular hero's references many Genji tale Japanese medieval The David'. 'chum', student, fellow for term university originally 'crony", colloquial more But order. positive though quality, subtle own its each friend, boon-companion bosom, intimate, dear, close, familiar, to well-wishers from intensity, greatly vary can concept The Churches. Friendless named oddly import, vaguer be It (theatre). Wells Sadler's (opera) Garden ofCovent project, idea special some donation by —backed interest may Order. Buddhist Western or (Quakers) Friends Society Religious the body corporate common simple a indicate may It oneself. with relationship into entered has person recognition salutation, general term, neutral only often is 'friend' English, modern formal rather literature early In nature. ambiguous, even complex, and diverse very a is friendship that show studies such All general. relationships personal on focus their of part as friendship, in interested 1929 —

seem friends between benevolence Historically, diversity. its because easy, concept Definition air. disparaging somewhat etc/.' criminals students, 'schoolboys, dictionary) (according used originally Preface than more each give rivalry strive could Friends question. demanded loyalty degree about But assumed. what self, second A go? self-sacrifice does far but received, questioning, Given motive? unworthy on based seen putative benefit, immaterial exchanges gifts involves often granted Then, thyself. neighbour thy love injunction religious conflict possible was idea secular Christians early For theologians. modern attention occupied even has meaning eras agape relation The well? as element sexual perhaps physical, there exchange spiritual an limited Is mean? soul' 'sharing clear It friendship. study such all side practical arise how friendship, nature analysis detailed given clinical Some living. social significance examined psychologists that itis So identity. person's strengthen helping value great friend offered thoughts private sharing trust, tolerance, friend, a obtained benefit material any from Apart individuals. to support genuine be can sense developed They 1990). Rapley (Firth disabilities learning or emotional individuals for maintained, A. Bloom References Firth Raymond Sir interest. universal subject studies further stimulate will themselves, provoking thoughtinformative essays The cultures. range a over historically contexts, variety a contributors editors treated are mentioned, not Ihave others together issues, general these of many volume this helped. being those identity personal development with interfere which well-wishers, by schemes 'befriending' especially formation, friendship in occur may that pitfalls difficulties some (indicated B. J. Casagrande Schuster Simon Friendship and Love Brothers and :Harper York New Anthropologists bv Portraits Twenty Man: of Company the In ), 1993 1960 been also ,., .

T. Coslett M. Rapley and H. Firth Harvester Brighton Fiction Victorian friendship Female Woman: Woman (1992 Caroline White Publications BIMH Kidderminster Disabilities Learning with People for Issues Friendship: to Acquaintance From in Friendship Christian Press :University Cambridge Century Fourth 1998 1990 the ), .,, ,

— 1 —


Anthropology of Friendship: Enduring Themes and Future Possibilities The

Sandra Bell and Simon Coleman

In his 1999 Reith Lectures, entitled 'Runaway World', the sociologist Anthony Giddens makes the following claim: 'There is a global revolution going on in how

we

think of ourselves and how

we

form ties and connections with others.' 1

According to Giddens, new forms of intimacy are replacing older connections in key areas of our lives: sex and love; parent-child relations; and friendship. He argues that these transformations are occurring 'almost everywhere', differing only in degree and the cultural context in which they take place. This is a book about one of the areas highlighted by Giddens: friendship. We hope to demonstrate that some fundamental and important transformations are indeed taking place in this aspect of human life. We agree with the argument of 'Runaway World' that social and economic forces affecting sex, love and the family can also have an impact on the creation and maintenance of relations between three

friends. However, while the world evoked by Giddens is one that appears to be tightly linked by common assumptions 'We find the same issues almost —

he everywhere'. approach comparative and frankly sceptical of generic says

claims more

—

our

is

characterize 'global' realities. Our conclusion is that friendship is much complex than Giddens implies. It is also much more interesting. to

general, friendship is a topic with much moral weight. From hope to derive emotional support, advice and material help in times of need. Through the ambiguities and ambivalences involved in establishing and keeping friendships alive, we learn about how others see us and therefore, in some For Westerners in

our

friends,

sense, seen as

we

how to view ourselves. Can Western notions of friendship and

intimacy be

evident in other societies, however? Our book juxtaposes case-studies drawn

from contemporary Europe with others focusing on China, East Africa, Brazil 2 and ancient Iceland in order to provide some answers to this question. For

anthropologists, the study of friendship is particularly pertinent at the Some thirty years ago, Robert Paine noted that ethnographers conducted lives in which friendship was probably just as important as kinship; yet their academic preoccupations tended to dwell far more on the significance of blood moment.

ties for the construction and maintenance of social relations (1969:505). Currently,

signification fieldwork explicitly more understands anthropology an producing means least life, role consideration A proximity. kinship based bonds older challenges numerous by partly impelled methods, topics ethnographic traditional reappraise attempting anthropology Coleman Simon and Bell Sandra task overdue. long argue ties, forms other context creativity emotion, agency, understandings fundamental posing one, challenging course relationships understanding establishing involved inteipretation illustrate analysis, ethnographic approach phenomenological a influenced comments, broad Rabinow's not.' but quickly arise may wish 'A caption: poignant included picture :160), 1977 (Rabtnow book end towards why, perhaps differences recognized when possible was dialogue intertwined. partially least now were these us, separated webs IDifferent than more any world crystalline live not He partially. say, me he that extent the to only Mohammad ben understand Icould [...] Otherness fundamental highlighted also this But contact. establish did we situations own our of confrontation mutual Through (1977:162): Mohammad ben informant, friend his description concludes Rabinow Paul Morocco, on Reflecting dimension? affective, possibly well pragmatic, highly necessarily has something describe Can collaboration?; extended 'comradeship' say, from, differ friendship does How ways?; compatible understand 'divide' sides both Do friendship: study comparative any by posed questions clues initial however, us, offer relationship fieldwork complexity ambiguity The contact. from aloof remaining while interactions observing ethologists, like become they if informants with relations close even cordial establish have usually Fieldworkers practice. anthropological inherent form some development all, After ignore. afford cannot we challenge it self; merely not them within Implicit field. but other, each regard are individuals two how at lies issue second this It cultures. across ways comprehensible mutually in existing think sense makes question (1969 Paine book. our We needs'. universal set a or arrangement, social a artefact cultural 'a as about talking one aware be to important itis that us warns well-being human requirements trans-cultural meets and expresses friendship whether of question part, most the for aside, leave heart :506) — — —

interpersonal have issues satisfaction. Possibilities Future and Themes Enduring data although psychologists addressed directly explored aspects with concerned ). Adams Bliezner 1983 (Duck contemporary, relations studies drawn been largely share do cultures selfhood motive notions certain transferring difficulties points pp.21—38) volume Carrier's :90; (1973 Pitt-Rivers intimacy. perceptions within inherent ambiguities particularities acknowledge prepared process, ethnographer. interpretation mediated friendship, understandings local than informants fieldworkers relationships less focus Generally, volume. chapters make case-studies varying that (1969:513) Paine American North European individualism he Here, societies. other many unaffordable luxury', 'sociological autonomy degree implies individuals particular private spontaneous, personal, involving idea middle-class Western, personal which tradition Simmelian writing each exclude collective however friendship: call ethnographers what examples principle voluntary importance observations Such (356). relatives female close friend's apply taboos bonds, blood through instituted kin' who Guinea New discusses example, taboos. incest invoking point regulated sanctioned ritually may they much informal described accurately friendships all Neither sanctions. social serious pain without relationship their terminate friends exists, choice element and, prearranged frequently relationships shows (1961) Cohen presented survey cultural challenged also quality defining Voluntarism people by understood universality principle's deny between duties rights view, this according role, specific plays where societies relationship. friendly genuinely antithesis is formalization role rigid from escaping provide cultures: patterning ceremonial expression emotional lost has (1976:105-6) argues Cohen. familiar be would distinctions Western Western/nonforms characterize itnecessary feels Brain cultures. comparison possibilities advocating while Even ideologies community contribute necessarily does that phenomenon observing in fieldworker involve friendship of study the Nonetheless, expressed. formally and overtly often used other. partners We ;1992 paper see own our must on we up notes a taken be 'true men Kwoma For cannot an even contexts many He crossin is ol most sense the in In as seen so structures means seems terms across West. to not a can more are .

control centralized particularly organization, patterns long-term regular, discern attempts reflected instead has anthropology work Much dimensions. secret sometimes irregular inchoate, formality) about points Cohen's Brain's (despite societies persons Relevant ways. recordable easily obvious stability institutional 1940 Evans-Pritchard Fortes cf. :13; (1976 Brain distant. anthropologists many by attributed importance instance, for emphasizes, affective idiosyncratic, processual, Analyses :5). 1973 (Jacobsen human order identified anthropologists which through means organizational provide tended affiliation ethnic political territorial, linked associations corporate relations, affinal from Aside nature. non-articulate delicate their due probably detail them describing despaired apparently have groups, kin structured outside ties emotional importance to obeisance ritual a made having anthropologists, most but organization, elements as 'amity' and 'bonding' treatment detailed any of lack the decry Text-books groupings: social arranging principles expressed overtly been have models some least at elements all aspects non-public roles positions fixed kinship, predominantly solely depend not do often those such relationships contend broadly, More persons. constructed 'unofficial' relatively involve may conventions, rules social influenced if that, medium-term longexamine it that argue we However, universal. assumed cannot friendship relations idiosyncrasy privacy Western well affect appropriateness notions Admittedly, evident. both experience, everyday evident more becoming background, cultural common even ethnicity proximity, geographical permanent Networks obligations. social burden them on demands economic make to unlikely people those equals companionship sociability ties seek informants Jacobsen's issues, parochial with only concerned being perceived Ugandans Mower-class' While (12). liability a seen ties kinship tribalism where mobility, geographic contexts Uganda, Mbale, in elites urban itinerant between developed bonds personal describes He (1973) Jacobsen by provided is amity networks creation significant highly socially yet shifting the illustrates that case non-Western A representation. and analysis ethnographic of aspect important increasingly an as be should or emerging therefore are They elsewhere. search statuses, )absent less far West .

— — -

are thus constructed which reduce the anonymity of urban society without involving participants in taking the responsibility for constituting a fixed corporate group, and which are sufficiently flexible to accommodate the likelihood

of connections

that individuals will

move

to

other

towns in

response

to

the demands of work.

Aguilar's paper in this volume (pp. 169-184) similarly shows how East African pastoralists transcend or at least bypass localized kin by developing 'globalized friends', in other words contacts required to secure people's inclusion in regional and

even

national networks of association.

reflects a shift in the perspective of anthropology that has great relevance to an understanding of models of friendship. Many scholars have concluded that the literary device of describing societies or cultures as isolated

Aguilar's chapter also

social and cultural units fixed in islands of time and space is both methodologically ideologically dubious ( Fabian 1983 : Wolf 1982 ). Furthermore, the scale of

and

trans-national, is

on

supra-local, interactions between individuals and groups (though this is not to say that such interactions are understood by all participants). These processes can hardly be said to be

or

at

least

the increase

in similar ways in themselves, of

new

course, as

for instance non-industrial forms of trade have

indicated. The likelihood is nevertheless

growing that the people who are important to one's social relations will not live locally ( Allan 1996 :20). In many shifting social contexts, ties of kinship tend to be transformed and often weakened by complex and often contradictory processes of globalization. At the same time new forms of friendship are emerging. Such processes incidentally transform the relationship between informant and anthropologist. We live in a shrinking world, where friends and collaborators, including those from 'the field", read our products ( Grindal and Salamone 1995 :2). Our

be accountable in

new

with those whom

we

ways if we

are

relationships with those we describe must destroy relations of amity established

not to

study.

Thus the

development of an anthropology of friendship is overdue on a number of counts. Anthropologists are focusing the ethnographic gaze on Western societies more

than

ever

before and

are

forced

to

confront

contexts

where unstable networks

of

intimacy, frequently unrelated to kinship ties, constitute key arenas of social interaction and identity formation. In addition, the oft-quoted division between

even if a useful shorthand descriptive strategy, is crude becoming increasingly way of delineating supra-local processes that are down old cultural divides and erecting new ones in unpredictable places. breaking

Western and other societies, an

Both physical and mediated contacts between representatives from all parts of the globe have increased, with the result that new etiquettes for mutual interaction are being devised all the time. More generally, the study of friendship may force us to pose key questions of all of the taken-for-granted social and cultural fields in which we live and work. It may for instance require us to reconsider the role of affect in the lives of the people we study as well as in our own fieldwork experiences. 3 We

establishment particular ethnographically ascription/constraint versus achievement/voluntarism lines along works sociological Many Kinship and Friendship relations. organizing means distinctiveness its privilege but association human forms neglect us encouraged study expertise disciplinary our whether ask also must least at relationship, content actual nothing tells connection ascribed formal, aware fact :84), (1996 Allan For 155—156). pp. volume, Abrahams, discussion brief also (see relations social maintenance solely defined hand, Friendship, context. Western exists really contact data Fortes's with point illustrating before (1973:89) [...]' it opposed usually essence regarded commonly being far 'Friendship, notes: He literature. relevant analysis anthropological his from contrast form different slightly a :2). 1992 Rawlins (cf. them keeps be may in brings what while involved, people particular time over created relationship on depends participation upon: worked continually ethnography Gulliver's loyalties. conflicts suffer likely unrelated felt few Personal (63). relationship' strengthening kinsmen, itmutually important was 'Where links: provided channels recognized use preferred generally Ndendeuli, uncommon appeared firm long-lasting Such related. closely they assumed associates kin, like each treated these practice, youths. together migration labour their since ever standing, years' friends two exception single In kinsmen. close were who heads household contained hamlets seventy-three only (63) found but men among ties looked actively he reports (1971) Gulliver 169), p. Aguilar, discussed (also Tanzania Ndendeuli studying In evidence. ethnographic other by reinforced strong remain structures where flourish chance little sense The (90). principle" organising abandoned has society" "civilised soi-disant invention friendship concept 'The writers: many for that, concludes Pitt-Rivers Ashanti. Tallensi African have considered relations social all express which through idiom an as kinship power The sustain. easy always not evident, very useful analytically sometimes if kinship, and friendship between distinctions clear is make to seeks book this points the of one However, persuasive. are represents it that argument wider basis West

middleclass idioms part derived courtesy use affection, displays resemble came alliances, establish city members elite whom abroad, located partners 'Xenoi', Greece. ancient ritualized analysis his applied idiom another describes (1987) Herman association. strength given blood, related others come two example Gulliver's Indeed, denied. qualities binding argues Reed-Danahay Deborah (93). (godparenthood) compadrazgo such relations, constructed also can parenthood analogies Mystical (1973:90). kinship' masquerade loves amity 'non-kin so both properties partaking exist, relations variants out points himself Pitt-Rivers (19). classificatory exclusive, mutually overlapping, partially Kinship relationship. perpetuity assumed studied she However, preoccupation disciplinary because opposites binary friendship think tend anthropologists 137—154) (pp. volume locality attachment promote endogenous. separated easily how Reed-Danahay 'outsider'. category opposition villagers by placed were Both kinship). guise taking cases Greek Ndendeuli contrast friendship, into transformed being perhaps case (a community local natives relatives or distant friends their most chose Auvergne rural commune life farming problems economic aspect: particular one culture contemporary like surprisingly initially looks (pp.59—78) sagas Iceland depiction Pálsson's Gísli Paul networks, kin encompassing widely contacts face-to-face world its terms in contexts non-Western many parallels certain demonstrates Lavialle If 'hand-maiden' mere cannot region this production, cultural processes contribute words, other Both, city. lure thesis Their kinship. emphasis lack relative ties voluntary valorization social an constituted latter activating often former with affinity, kinship than important more as seen be could ways, some In alliances. political shifting constantly encompassed society loosely-knit stateless, a context in systems man' 'bigto akin Informal reverse. public removed intimacy form a ideals Western from different rather ultimately is friendship saga that realize we therefore, develops, chapter Palsson's Durrenberger's As men. several involved sometimes which blood-brotherhood of institution formal highly the existed there alongside although basis, dyadic a on favours and gifts exchanging through achieved itwas way face this

concludes: friendship? commitment evident certainly friendship categories level interconnections A relatives. contact conditions optative increasingly under relationships expressing means transformed being itself is world contemporary parts many inevitability. sense brooding strong with elements its combines it Furthermore, sphere. selectivity such characteristic prime systems London (1956) study earlier much Djamour's Firth lime." at often complementary, intersecting experienced emotions thought, language, because part versa relate Montrealers difficult was 'It Canadians urban on work (1996:162) Gurdin's instance. versa, vice friend best husband's her ideally wife —a disintegrating are loving affinity kinship, friendship, boundaries (1976:15) claims examples. discerned trends consistent Certainly, study? comparative basis useful they might any, if sense, models Western specifically make can what elsewhere, indeed West in hold always do distinctions rigid If Friendship Models Western Assessing (17). with" friendly found 'They satisfaction: practical provide who persons those ties large from choose People road"). ('friends ones ascribed heart') ("friends allies chosen/achieved difference clear recognize :108), (1976 Brain described Bangwa Cameroonian modernity. Western contexts only evident need optation principle seen, have we However, cousinage). analysis [1972] Bourdieu's 146] [p. discussion Reed-Danahay's (cf. choice matter a extent some like Kinship large. very family elementary beyond upon drawn be kin possible number multilaterally, organized kinship where societies, 'open' attachments. emotional echoes argument The dyad. constituted uniquely involved individuals equal two between relationship special becomes view this According sanctions. social by reinforced or relations other network embedded not voluntary, itentirely arguing by nature informal fragility characterizes Parekh (1994:95), volume same In choice. free to post-Enlightenment a self-making authentic self-governance, moral self-control, involving autonomy, personal is for condition primary that argues :17—18) (1994 Deutsch philosophy, of perspective the From voluntary. absolutely and private interstitial, as terms ideal in friendship present writers Many literature. urban.

middle-class within sentiment role discusses paper 1969 Similarly, disappears. essential amity calculation subject reciprocal once view, According duties. rights sentiments, ideally claim combined relations social jural, formal, distinction analytical (1973:96) Pitt-Rivers's reflected being characteristic unencumbered, structurally relatively our distinctiveness note point Paine's Part (1969:507). content affective exists asserts He relations. interpersonal autonomy such granting permissiveness (1976) Aristotle friendship. models Western informing assumptions with respects certain contrast These (514). non-institution' institutionalised 'an becomes thus arrangements. institutional other from independence greatest utility, based friendships those between distinguished last virtue. founded longer-lasting) perfect, (true, those pleasure, pursuit conviction his illustrates purest 1994 Moltmann cf. :xxx; societal all basis provide can relationships individual dyadic strong Nevertheless, reciprocity'. affection form appropriate their friendship emphasise should relations, kinship reproductive"outside" 'essentially being monks, that surprising is (1988:112) remarks As monasticism. development sustained ideal This community. benefit alliances good make men' 'good where situation idealize perspectives Ciceronian) subsequent (and Aristotelian so opposed, than rather complementary Friendship strongly features virtue The fellowship. communal bonds personal exclusive given rivalrous, potentially but complementary, perceived sometimes monks early that notes :xiii) (1988 McGuire earth. on city' 'heavenly establishment threaten also could privatized been seemingly practice realized actually ever was or —whether view Aristotelian The attitude. individualistic therapeutic, a by influenced heavily become ithas how describe community relation context) American north this 'covenant' say almost might (one commitment moral expression an decline lament (1985) al. et Bellah writers. some ideals Utopian persist model classical versions Contemporary :120). 1988 (Collins salvation' to relevant are which activities for arena one least at constitutes world mundane 'the Christianity Buddhism, Unlike liberation. spiritual orientation unworldly radical, the because culture Christian in they as ideologies communitarian nurture and society lay permeate not did friendship about ideas monastic Buddhist But Buddhism. of history argues its famously ). —

argument marketplace. least at perspective, Such power. politics aspects such protected isolated virtuous notion replaced Parekh), Deutsch recommended (as era modern each humans culprit, becomes but ideal an longer no 'society' according view romantic nineteenth-century a partly relies variants, contemporary if statement well-known Forster's M. E. epitomized good opposed Devotion balanced forms certain pragmatism kinship, constraints relations, patron-client inequalities untainted should It forms. other distinguished readily constraints, structural freedom sentiment voluntarism, autonomy, involving terms post-Aristotelian romantic, characterized is friendship middle-class particularly If country. betray would hoped country or betraying choose enmeshed selves 'situated' finds he Melanesia, self. conceptions presence depends unconstrained spontaneous emphasis friendship's chapter his arguments One view. outline polemical deliberately begins (pp.21—38) contribution Carrier's volume, our In ). 1969 (Paine fellowship religious found group commitment point echoes lecture Reith (Giddens's entities. meshed rather distinct society person where contexts live thought, liberal Western, modern, actors independent free notionally friends true being capable as seen who people those contrast, way By lacking. sentiment sources interior so others, relations that relationship' 'pure potentially a description (1996 Allan what this between discerned also Resonances personal Western expected affection sympathy exchange market impersonality contrast similarly :30—1) (1992 Adams Bliezner (1990) Silver assumptions contrasted be explicitly can spontaneity purpose purity which in one perspective ideological same products friend autonomous morally giver altruistic out points Carrier gift, discussion (1986) Parry's Drawing communication'.) 'emotional constituted entirely involvement social patterns for consequences inevitable with than private committed are People gaze. public from removed behaviour amount increasing work) organized bureaucratically and home separating instance (for spheres different into segmented more becoming life Western/modern that is claim Tonnies. to back reaching modernization models on itdraws though (1969) al. et Goldthorpe by Worker Affluent The publication the since headway made has latter The thesis'. privatisation 'the calls relations. informal of significance had other. its :9) ,

—

emerging autonomy relationships aspect political Here, society.' polite among new making for itwarrant others them made claims denying old cutting justified elite an through device a was autonomous emergence 'The that: concludes Carrier relations. ambiguities politics reflections ethnographic straightforward regarded cannot with' think 'to tools useful provide development models ideal-typical Such taken approach 'idealized' complement (pp.39—58) volume contribution describes vein, same highlighted. romance than rather faith good depended creating return equivalent expecting without giving classes middle earlier paper: venture they aspirations at looks essay current his friendships, of'bond' sanctions jural contradictions inherent complexities depicts friendship. middle-class universe private candidness question necessary it finds now Paine world. exercise homophily towards tendency The (47). choice' matter that notions, everyday even indeed, literature, 'claims counter attempts thus location. geographical ethnicity, class, considerable still operate seen personal informal voluntary, depicted conventionally demonstrates He (1989) Allan provided is applied freedom notions de-contextualized attacks clearest One another. traitor person one being somebody involve act since relational contacts set given within treachery instance, For trust. creation evident (also representations prevalence despite frameworks, ideological institutional wider into insertion its well social networks other from influences connections friendship's consider us forces Allan's structured.' should relationships friend which ways about scripts cultural there friendship, governing rules clear-cut no may 'There (99): while choice, constraints powerful but implicit class) gender age, same often so are friends that fact (the shows 98) (pp.79London out carried fieldwork discussion Rezende's book, this In dyads. self-governing private, friendships complex) love romantic relations personalize tend Brazilians standards, so-called how, observations conclusions such juxtaposes Rezende others. on much too feelings unwarranted imposing parties involved interpreted be can self 'true' exposure unreserved how noting by autonomy unfettered pure as friendship Western of notion the to challenge further a illustrates piece Her time. leisure constructed those with negatively and positively interact place work result The general. in sphere public 1969 real West .

Brazil is

relationship between people of different classes, such as mistresses and more one of affinity than equality, and moreover one that challenges 4 Western conceptions of public and private. Rapport's chapter (pp.99—118) approaches issues of freedom and restraint by looking at a specific social activity. He shows how playing dominoes with friends in a rural part of the north of England can be both distillation of and ambiguous escape from other social and institutional contexts of village life. Dominoes is a leisure time pursuit and yet requires of its players that they uphold strict norms of propriety. The outcome of any game (in terms of deciding winners and losers of a particular contest) is uncertain, and yet as a ritualized form of sociability its effects in bringing people together are more predictable. Rapport's contribution therefore indicates ways in which the form of amity expressed by dominoes-players involves a kind of intimacy that is precisely contingent on its physical expression; it is both constructed within a set-apart, ludic genre of sociality and dependent on the wider context of the game and the pub for its character. Rapport's observations highlight the potentially labile and shifting nature of friendship and its creative but not unconstrained use by participants to configure degrees of amity that shade into intimacy. The ambiguities of closeness remain, allowing exact degrees of revelation and reserve to remain unexamined: we are therefore led back in a less dramatic but equally important way to Paine's discussion of the articulation of trust between friends. 'Nigel' the ethnographer, as one of his a

maids, that is

fellow players tells him, is a man who lives 'many lives', not all of which are (or ever can be) evident to his friends and informants in the village. The creativity of friendship need not be confined to issues of self-representation.

Friendship

also

provides a

critical site for

anthropologists to study identity

formation, identities, questions personal to

or

pose

about the articulation of

and social

validity of such a distinction for those they study. These themes question vividly evoked by Allison James (1993) in her ethnographic account of

to

are

new

the

British childhood. If Western, middle-class, male, adult

friendship is portrayed as only weakly institutionalized frequently fragmented, poorly ( Paine 1969 ), children's friendships appear all the more fragile. Yet, the patterning of these interrelations, often so momentary as to appear frighteningly vacuous to brittle,

anchored and

adult onlookers ( James 1993 :212), enact and encode potent forces in the culture of children. The performance of friendship and 'the power to personify which [it] unleashes for children' (234) stands out as a primary medium for composing identity. Satisfying the demands of being a friend entails cultivating a familiarity

prevailing moral economy of friendship in its ideological and experiential aspects. By paying attention to the performance of friendship and to children's commentaries on that performance, James obtains evidence for the manner in which cultural knowledge about friendship is generated, as well as the kinds of skills that British children practise, or fail to practise, in the management of friendships. with the

childrearing position subject's only account into take must frameworks ideological effects potential Any Hess (see life-cycle papers none Although gender. consideration include also but examines research discusses critically Reed-Danahay world. 'autonomous' rather 'relational' them involves out carried predominantly household note (1985) Hartsock work draws Carrier friendship. about generalizations society-wide validity regarding assumptions an which extent various itemerges issue, this focuses volume sphere, domestic outside than mobility greater notes change, economic rapid period during Estonia situation describing (pp.155—168), Abrahams society. realms 'public' participation lack apparent assess authors Other ). 1972 Wolf (cf. kin official nature patriarchal resist means seek who brides young neighbours female specifically networks unofficial loose noting themes same some invokes (pp.119—136) Smart Chinese Describing life. family tensions possible beyond desires opportunities marriage impact looks particular society, public access differential context Yet contexts. rural absence striking explain how issue relevant Palsson, Durrenberger For husbands. entrepreneurial connection chains development in links as importance points friendship, forward put they explanation One women. involving references sustained sagas over produced studies number A processes. structures social wider sustaining significance practical its diminish not does tendency a such yet society; spheres non-public least at or 'informal' more belong liable been) has (or is friendship ethnography Icelandic Estonian both seem may It granted. for taken simply was power, political overt exercise from divorced years twenty approached in friendships same-sex quality on focusing by gender 1989 ;Allan 1982 Dubennan (Davidson female feelings share prefer women whereas friends male their with activities share inclined men that agreement general reflected have They hierarchical. being behaviour that interpret likely less may woman a from advice recipient the then nature, prosocial and nurturing, communal, about stereotypes of because solidarity-oriented as interpreted be to likely more is behaviour women's If friendships': cross-sex of hierarchy solidarity the influence to likely particularly are stereotypes schema 'gender that maintain (1993) Howard and McWilliams he )seemingly past West.

typologically dispute. under changing always scripts these if above cited scripts, cultural constraint institutional realities sociological tempered must researcher, shared creativity, flexibility freedom, ideology middle-class) particular (and powerful, imply concepts academic lay both characterizations our Overall, :196—7). 1993 Howard McWilliams hierarchical being behaviour interpret man a from advice of recipient the then asserting, status and instrumental agentic, as characterised be will behaviour men's that likely more it make stereotypes gender if contrast In counterparts its more seem make constraints geographical even social economic, presence surprising) (hardly however, circumstances; historical set product uniqueness significance acknowledge open infinitely societies depicting crudely beware should We ambiguity. process account taking nuanced being structure rigid inflexibility assumed treatment, intellectual opposite subjected usefully could contexts non-Western relationships on observations anthropological Conversely, suggest. first at would ideology approach balanced suitably quoted be can his conclusions Perhaps structures impersonal contrasts perspective alternative traditional stranglehold escape enabling relations, patron-client like friendship, sees view juxtaposes He modernity. Western harbinger as terms monochrome linear, seeing associated ambiguities discusses briefly pp.155—168) (in Abrahams :148). 1976 (Brain barriers social linguistic by walled putatively are others contrast progressive transactions anonymous find entrepreneurs Rural resources. critical deployment approaches impersonal produce not need models redistribution socialist from movement apparent conclude contributors Both societies. volume this discussion Smart's Alan parallels has issues relation Estonia characterization specific Abrahams' bureaucracy'. kinship opposites polar between somewhere lie ties such since defensible, course, are, viewpoints 'Both than rather people importance recognize reciprocity gift-giving forms combined commitment mutual and trust expectations cultivation is significant More uncertainty. economic context a in life organization solutions provide cannot market workings friendship with overlaps sometimes institution an guanxi of art the practising that observes Smart contexts, Chinese to Referring debate: cash. —

premodern. dimensions distinction do work useful [1990] Silver's draws Rezende, Carrier like (and, relations personal about points wide-ranging many make ethnography involved. interests purely implies since least risky, favours reward cash use Estonia, As life. everyday critical relations pre-existing invoking involves which assumptions rejection indeed, founded, capitalism Western critique Asian An organization. form premarket part guanxi seeing involved evolutionism ethnocentric avoid done things getting techniques series sentiment genuine both incorporates Guanxi society. polity economy, domains separate strictly contributors, line age. by ranked hierarchically sibling even culture identities shared on based idioms friendship-like importance acknowledges but 'essence' distilled pure, a search does approach argues Generally, relationship. opposed inherently expressivity instrumentality where contexts person concept account into situational contextual much seen selves critical: becomes webs relational these concerning information then construction fluid through reformed formed self version If describes. he context heated for catalysts become themselves exclusion inclusion boundaries up purpose serve would project Such friendship. definition applicable, globally rigid, construct attempting sense pragmatic little there argue fact, In analysis. comparison cross-cultural deployed putatively could model 'etic' basis reproduced be simply itshould so Even cultures. societies other evident processes assumed often is affinities more may ideology, pure than rather practices sociological set a Observed Agenda an Constructing person. autonomy representations Post-Enlightenment Enlightenment from far journeying are then, Here, interaction. styles Western common required affection spontaneous between challenge material Chinese his uses Smart instance, For study. object an defining friendship conception same exactly employed have volume this to contributors the all that claim cannot we Certainly, debate. fruitless probably inherent relationships social kinds and Durrenberger work. of world that way a in cultivated strategically as friendships see standpoint. Carrier's with easily fit not so). takes Palsson He need argues, —

possible, in many cases, to say where the conceptual 'West' ends and begins. Even to talk of a Western or Northern European perspective is frankly problematic: Abrahams, for instance, contrasts Finnish and British ideas of the relationship between friendship and kinship. Moreover, it is clear that considerations of class and ethnicity ( Donnan 1976 ) as well as sexual orientation ( Nardi and Sherrod 1994 ) may affect attitudes to personal relationships. We propose that a more positive agenda in the ethnographic study of friendship is to use micro-analyses of particular social contexts in order to address a broad Nor

is it

the 'non-West'

package of questions relevant The

study

of friendship

may include but

are

not

to our

be used

can

reducible

discipline and

as a means

to

kinship;

to

wider societal

concerns.

of examining social relations that

that

are

sustained

beyond single

or

short-term encounters; that involve the search for some form of sentiment or at least empathy and common ground between persons. To phrase the aim of the

project

in another way,

such factors

we

wish to locate and

analyse the social space that exists and fixed hierarchies have been accounted

kinship, territory an analytical thread running through the book as a whole refers to friendship as a site of identity-formation that mediates, often ambiguously, between constraint and creativity (or at least relative flexibility) in the formation of social ties. Such ties help define how a given person is to be perceived, by him/ once

for. Related

to

her self as well We

are

not

as

this aim,

as

by

others.

searching

human needs for

intimacy

for cross-cultural and emotional

of ascribed social relations

generalizations

compensation

as

about

supposed

responses to the

pan-

rigidities

impersonal bureaucracies. Nor do we propose the foundation of a new subdiscipline of 'friendship studies' that would elevate the topic into a fetishized category whilst, in all probability, artificially excluding messy gradations of relationship between close bonding, familiarity, acquaintanceship, etc. Rather, we suggest that a focus on the notion of friendship encourages us to look at old data in new ways, to challenge some academic and lay stereotypes about the constitution of social relationships and to be ready to observe the construction of new types of sociality in a globalizing but complex and world whose cultural and social boundaries are constantly being transformed. or

contradictory

Notes 1 The Reith Lectures

are a series of public lectures delivered annually by a distinguished scholar under the auspices of the BBC. The lecture we are quoting from is the fourth in the series, entitled 'Family'. Giddens's global message

reinforced

was

4

were

published on the

Internet

regions that have played a strong role in anthropological writings about patron-client and unilineal kinship relations. Many ethnographers have removed evidence of personal involvement from published texts (including the affect displayed by informants themselves). As Grindal and Salamone point out (1995:1), when writers have displayed their own emotions they have sometimes even used pseudonyms (cf. Laura Bohannan's Return to Laughter [ Bowen 1964 ]). In a rather different way, Aguilar's chapter on East Africa challenges Western notions of intimacy and the public/private divide by noting that Boorana letters are part of public knowledge.

2 The first three

3

medium: the lectures

by a global

the BBC's web site < http://news.bbc.co.uk >.

on

all

are

References Allan G. ( 1996 ), ,

University

Kinship

Press

and

Friendship

in Modern Britain Oxford : Oxford ,

.

(— 1989 ), Friendship : Developing Francisco : Westview Press

a

Sociological Perspective

,

Boulder and San

.

Aristotle ( 1976 ), Nichomachean Ethics revised edition, trans. J.A.K. Harmondsworth : Penguin ,

Thompson

,

.

Bellah R. , Madsen R. ,

,

Sullivan W. Swidler. A. and

,

,

Tipton,

,

and Row

S. ( 1985 ), Habits

of Life New York : Harper

the Heart: Individualism and Commitment in American

,

.

Bliezner R. and Adams R. ( 1992 ), Adult Friendship London : Sage Bourdieu P. ( 1972 ), Les Strategies Matrimoniales dans le Systeme de ,

,

.

,

'

Reproduction ,

', Annates 4-5 : 1105 25 —

,

Bowen E. S. ( 1964 ), Return to ,

Laughter

,

Garden

City,

N.Y. :

Doubleday

.

Brain R. ( 1976 ), Friends and Lovers New York : Basic Books Cohen Y. A. ( 1961 ), Patterns of Friendship ', in Y.A. Cohen (ed.). Social Structure .

,

,

'

,

and

Personality

,

New York : Holt-Rinehart-Winston

'

Collins S. ( 1988 ), Monastacism, 18 : 101 35 ,

.

Utopias and Comparative Social Theory ', Religion

,

-

.

'

Davidson L. and Duberman. L. ( 1982 ) Friendship: Communication and Patterns in Same Sex Dyads ', Sex Roles Vol. 8 No.8.

Interactional ,

,

,

'

Deutsch E. ( 1994 ), On Creative Friendship ', in L. Rouner (ed.), The Face ofFriendship Notre Dame : University of Notre Dame Press ,

,

.

Changing

Anthropology "middleclass" Donnan Duck Belfast, 1Queens Anthropology, Social Papers Behaviour Knowledge Holy Factory a Interaction Rules Joking Friendship, Inter-Ethnic Fabian Harvester Brighton Close Psychology Life: For Friends 1956 Djamour R. Columbia Object its Makes Anthropology Flow Other: Borough South Grindal Structure Class Worker Affluent 1969 Piatt Bechhofer Lockwood H. Goldthorpe Press. Oxford London: Systems, Political African (1940), E. Evans-Pritchard, Fortes, Athlone Fhe London Studies Two (ed.), Firth 1995 F. Salamone Gurdin Berkeley Tanzania Ndendeuli among Action Kinship Idiom Networks: ),Neighbours 1971 M. Gulliver Waveland Heights Prospect on Narratives Humanity: to Bridges C. N. Hartsock Winfield Austin Francisco San States United Canada Styles Cross-Cultural into Investigation An Amitie/Friendship: Hess Cambridge Cambridge City Greek Friendship Ritualised 1987 G. Herman JAI Conn. Greenwich, 6 Vol. Theory Perspectives Current (ed.). McNall S.G. Standpoint Feminist a from Critique Fheory: Exchange Vol. Society Aging Jacobsen Edinburgh Child the Relationships Self Identities: Childhood A. James Foundation. Sage Russell York New 1988 B. McGuire Cummings California Park, Menlo Uganda Order Townsmen: Itinerant S. McWilliams Publications Cistercian Mich. Kalamazoo, 1250 350— Experience Monastic Community: 49 Issues Friendships Cross-Sex Hierarchy Solidarity 1993 A. J. Howard J. Moltmann 202 191 D. Sherrod P. Nardi Press :University Dame Notre Face Changing The (ed.), Rouner L. Friendship Concepts Christian Aristotelian Friendship: Open Friends R. Paine 99 185 2 11 Relationships Personal and Social Journal Lesbians and Men Gay Lives (): 4 ',Man culture in analysis exploratory an friendship: of search In ), 24 1976 1983 1996 1985 1972 1973 3 1994 505 Time , '',., ,, .'

— —

Changing —1972 Leyton E. to Approaches Anthropological B. Parekh. Toronto Foundland Dimensions Selected Compact: View An Gift Indian Gift, The 1986 Parry Dame Notre Face Rouner 1973 Pitt-Rivers 73 453 21 Man ", Gift' "Indian Kith P. Rabinow Cambridge Kinship Character The (ed.), Goody J. Kin Allan Silver Gruyter de Aldine York New Course, Life Dialectics, Communication, Matters; Friendship 1992 W. Rawlins Morocco Fieldwork on Reflections 95 Journal ',American Sociology Modern and Theory Social Eighteenth-Century Society: Commercial Friendship ), E. 504 1474 (): Margery Wolf California of Berkeley History Without People Europe Press :University Stanford Taiwan Rural in Family the and 1974 1994 1977 1990 L. 6 1982 (ed.). Women . ' ''— .,,,

-

People Who

2

-

Can Be Friends:

Selves and Social

Relationships

James G. Carrier

Friendship

is

not

just

a

relationship

between

people,

it is

a

kind of

relationship,

spontaneous and unconstrained sentiment or affection. After all, if the relationship is constrained we confront something very different from what one

based

on

'friendship', something like bureaucratic relationships, kinship relationships patron-client relationships. Similarly, if the sentiments displayed are forced or bought, we confront dissimulation of the sort that Arlie Hochschild (1983) describes for airline cabin crew and that we associate with a range of occupations from that we

call

or

of sales staff to I do not

courtesans.

that co-workers, kin, patrons and clients feel no affection towards they do, however, we see them as people who are also friends. it may have begun because their work, family gatherings or the like mean

each other. If

Although brought them

into

contact

with each other, their mutual affection is added

to

their

other relationship with each other, it does not constitute it. To speak of friendship between two co-workers, then, is to speak of something construed as distinct from the relationship defined by their respective locations in the organization that

employs them. Thus, of relationship,

to

speak of friendship

based

at

all is

to

speak of a particular kind

spontaneous sentiment. A friendship is between the people who are friends, the unconstrained people who come to feel spontaneous affection for, and so befriend, each other. To speak one

on

of friendship, then, is to speak of people as responding to an internal spring of motive, their sentiments. Without the presence of people construed in this way, sort

of

who get Without

on

people who are capable of friendship, we must speak of co-workers together, of kin who feel the bonds of their relationships and the like. people who can be friends, in other words, we can not speak of friendship. What I have laid out is an uncompromising view of friendship, one that sees friendship in its purest form. In its uncompromising idealization it brings to the fore elements that are common, even central, to the idea of friendship. A study of friendship among middle-class American women, by Helen Gouldner and Mary Symons Strong (1987), illustrates some of these points. To begin with, the women they interviewed made a clear differentiation between amicable relationships based the

spontaneity

friends neighbours between distinguishing woman quote authors like, common Carrier G. James describe is chapter this purpose :23). me' for spoils 'It broker. estate real successful reply way',was crass friendship our think like 'I development. its forward maneuvering less much growth cultivating even or planning themselves [conceived these Thus, friendships. feature an studied, Strong Gouldner women For geography. such things unconstrained affection, spontaneous springs friendship that point my echoes friends, amicable, however neighbours, only idea :65). 1987 Strong Gouldner friends them choosing someone attracted being more convenience of matter a It's along. get kids whether other each live close how are, who based not between relationship The .] [. friends become to want people with necessarily don't talking, end on hours spend again over children and mothers same the meet you though Even other; hand one building apartment 1973 (Geertz texts' ensemble 'an just just than remember important talk, on focusing be will though Even sentimental about, around sit told children customers, way friendly a admonished tellers bank When it. world our shape act more It 452). other, with time spending happily portray advertisements when playmates, some find out go attention My notion. conformity terms assessed flesh made are call we affection aside set means about but unimportant, unreal think because it, ignore talk is feel other from itdifferent makes occurs, which constructs thought in all doubt reason no see and talks everyone not But other. each towards affection feel can relationships sorts than rather sentiments spontaneous internal, their to respond who people thinking entails friendship speaking that Isaid friendship. as relationship by them upon placed expectations demands In like. the or interest propinquity, trade, kinship, of her hence :5, house other. other.I ties .-

conception conceptions words, Friends Can People self. like, people distinct discussion frame ethnography, study emerged consideration anthropological (1986 Parry Jonathan exchange between link entry useful provides giver which gift"', "pure 'ideology refers he makes affection motivated all, after is, constraint lack freedom unconstrained'. 'free there (b) given, voluntarily something (a) 'that (1979:100) Russell Thus, element giving, gift writing scientific thought. popular part just individual spontaneous free, friendship. perspective, favors'. gratuitous perform obligations recognized beyond go roles incumbents when gift-giving :12) (1988 Cheal David for Similarly, compensation'. expectation 1993 Ouroussoff (see liberal feature key who independent notion corresponding entails noting already begun problematic. chapter thought conceptions changing stylized, necessarily sketch, through present affectionate applicable little 'friendship' make precisely introduce Rather, affectionate. that relationships bereft other these assertion Doing conceived. ways by process continue but fragmented, considering by then, conclude, relations. notions reveals, well hides, this recognize itimportant self, emergence said Although Ipresent. form from selves descriptions scholarly existence point only them presenting right, their interesting While Melanesia. place, different in social conceptions phenomenon. relatively is friendship relations with associated kind show will sketch This centuries. few than widespread less be needs self conception Western modern the called have what indicates that evidence suggestive, appear, might experiences. beliefs people's reflection and human of expression idea real free ). past :466) Be Who stream One for use Melanesian out friends. who one essence says Belk on common It ot not Seen 'the occurs actor notion want In over person, is these way first The their seems term our selves sorts no so can other none purpose my own in are these very and the turn then recent a of as seen Ito some a more nature an

change marked centuries argued (1985) Marcel conceptions. alternative show helps history, has friendship real capable conception This Selves Western Changing Europe, Western based autonomous, than rather situated commonly prior appears It individual. idea propound intellectuals time during argues Mauss capitalism. spread rapid saw also period noting worth actor, independent liberal's like looks friendly observation my light exists, within relationships shaped words, appropriate. really 'friendship' position her his defined identity person's understanding locations. explained their motives, people's result, As relationships. webs structures locations older (1978) Macfarlane Alan by made arguments spite frame, social identical 'equal, individual, self-contained us construction Under person. essential defines being autonomous seen consciousness which one way gave situation its from springing as however, Gradually, position. about hide term, (1972) Lionel use 'sincere', others person importance gained self view new While will. about misleading hide not 'authentic', terms, Trilling's again others, concerned wills, predispositions terms other each identify then, view, newer In motive. source, valid only perhaps or source, are beings irreducible our construction, such under And friend. a be can who individual :73), 1979 Silverman Barnett monads' 1800 before centuries, eighteenth seventeenth nature understandings emerging consideration through so notion directly more bears described, have skeleton on flesh some put Iwant :104-10). 1986 Turner Hill (Abercrombie, owners land larger capitalists among primarily important itwas 1700 around (1987) Colin According behaviour. emergence points Campbell friendship. constructions modern exists sort self, unfettered expression spontaneous justified constraint demonized morality a England in appear began of sense intuitive people innate an had they that wrong, do to because evil is constrainnt calculus, moral this With wrong. the avoid and right hence separate bases there that desire ,,

Characteristics experienced (1987 desire. innate, hinders it Because :150). 1987 Campbell (in character answer him for impossible were not, did he reflection; without necessarily, manner a nature, his from acts advantage. and self-interest ot rules prudential matter the considers .]or [. deliberates never He man: says Shaftesbuiy There, 1711. published Times, Opinions, Manners, Man, Shaftesbury's morality new illustrates being'. very one's out directly arising chosen, freely conduct can 'virtuous it, puts desire have idea The operate. to able best unconstrained, free will when encouraged behaviour bad, avoid morality. an call might what justified is beauty, recognized true pleasure spontaneous. only if suspect, judgement external taste standards public corollary its spontaneity, case strengthened aesthetic This ugliness. recognized innately repulsive false become Instead, suspect. reactions idiosyncratic merely be cease then, feelings, Personal :154—60). (1987 criteria logical ethical aesthetic, articulated any conformity than more count false, displeasure like true, experiences individual repulsed attracted being them, around those relate spontaneously being, autonomous individuals, meant friendship, terms judgements. valid each towards feel unconstrained autonomous, two affection spontaneous reflects which most relationship The studied. (1987) Strong Gouldner women by later centuries three almost echoed one Charter, Friend's sort a offers Shaftesbury then, him, describes Campbell As pp.59-78). this Pálsson Durrenberger Sagas Iceland protection patronage or pp.119—136) volume, this in Smart (see relationships Chinese some service mutual whether interest, constraints unfettered were They people, relationships establishing for self-interest reflection Prudence, attractive people see us leads operate, sense moral innate allow do because guides poor These popular. befriend seeking by opinion common conform sentiments, affective spontaneity that itis Thus repellant. person. with and relationship, to lead they addition, In right. own their in good just not are term, the use commonly we as friendship of bad. other. desire bad bases :150) .

conception relationships form, different somewhat appeared changing Silver, Allan according century, especially Enlightenment Scottish found patronage, relations, have manifestation previously argued writers These Smith. Hume Ferguson, work :ch.5) 1982 Plumb Brewer McKendrick, location Sagas. Iceland Smith, Adam sympathy', 'natural operation depended friends become such Whether allegiance. encompassing position by defined :1482), co-citizens' indifferent 'authentically strangers individuals, independent Among interest. patronage faction, independent sociality there however, writers, These motive. people's words, behave. ought how expectations shaped just identity, gave that feeling involuntary described Sentiments, Moral Theory itself manifests described, Shaftesbury like very something is :1481). Silver (in approbation' objects ourselves attach persons solidly established century eighteenth beginning emerging conception Thus, dislikes. likes individual expression be patronage, alliance, external free exist This but nothing based unbidden arise affectionate acceptable morally then, self, model affection. spontaneous short, sympathy; natural felt whom for good, innate their appealed those Instead, location. social appropriate those would itexpected longer well. form sociable moral proper selves, these With self-interest. calculation prudential constraints internal from polished, :56-63): 1977 Hirschman (cf. 'polish' wanted faction interest Instead preceding marred had thought factions interests dispensing themselves society Girouard, Mark According society'. 'polite called English Georgian what formed they men' 'good Shaftesbury's way, themselves think liked supposes, who, and self this espoused who People involved. people the of sentiments spontaneous he society, polite in that said Toland John 1711, :76). 1990 (Girouard people' other with his limited which angularities The end. in Later commerce areas sort or Istructures terms upon not structure source structure a 'an an Here esteem we at the of and seen on are one's with consort No a took moreover, new someone was man 'A era. as saw in were to one view autonomous sense In contact no

shed home travelled genteel all though these occupations places different People place. quintessential Bath like that says :77—8) Girouard design. architecture Georgian pronounced promenades public assembly houses, coffee theatres, architecture unified spacious enshrined society polite self-concept :78). Girouard (in by' laid distinctions These Tory. sight whisper look in, Whig when leer Tory trade profession estate, obligations normal had than became sentiments, moral, therefore spontaneous, play give able fully home, friends greeting argued Ferguson instance, For realm. especially changes conceptually linked relationships, prior web enmeshed stranger, disinterested appearance implies, Enlightenment Scottish invocation my meeting (1990 Silver result, The gain. for desire their tainted, least motivated, people's relationships interpersonal manipulation upon depended survival economic order old sordid" "interested phrase, disapproving Ferguson's be, but choice heart. ruled be leaving interest, selfdevoted sphere impersonal lauded, many however, society, differentiation growing The pocket" fill [or] "empty they whether concerned interactions, unconstrained 'Free life: differentiation emerging summarizes :466) (1986 Parry suited articulated visible sketched have Melanesia Selves Social societies. people depicts accurately relationships degree consider important. talk thought here modern with that, remember important However, outside gifts free make also market friendship, embedded is which in relations social by motivated constituted being self, older itdiffered that ways unsuited has notion the where Melanesia, from material drawing by be. might self situated such what illustrate friendship. point only instead, ago'. 'long Western and away' 'far Melanesian equation imply do material, this presenting recently. interest scholarly of topic hence been idea :1484), As resort, course. towns, went many towns resort town rooms 1990 sour nor comes stare does 'A more As new. says at or were in no 'one was matters saw, meant '.economy with contracts most emergence in Western its notion new below are the it it.' unconstrained and as seen one on so want mean, a between an to mean Inot In a

including both out than dimension clearly appear West, pre-modern (1988:13) says Strathern about. person brought emerges idea means. phrases these each explain need relations. themselves realize activated constituted people Rather, person. model resemble do selves point central A self. autonomous explicitly thought, on reflection intended thought investigation (1988), Gift Gender Strathern's Marilyn springs Melanesia identity treatment anthropological predominant The West. modern parents two embodiment means level, simplest them.'At produced relationships site composite plural constructed frequently persons Indeed, within. sociality generalized 'Contain reified relationship The distinctiveness. retaining while substance their part contributing each parents, between transaction metonymic through created Hagen A relationship. their parents contains child encompassing more instead but generation, generation endowment detachable passing This them. between relationship androgyny Its itself. within both them combines but parent neither of identity the duplicates and it, for substitutes who child there because (1988:93). society' somehow position its integrity derives formulations, who, individual" "an axiomatically not 'is it Because :262). 1988 (Strathern transaction completed a by mean what briefly explained Ihave friendship. notion Western characterize sources internal from emerge affections spontaneous conceive itdifficult relations, prior individual no Thus, activated point, second my join important It relationships. constituted selves Melanesian social, remains origin affine man simplistically, Put terms. situational construed relationships, kin through is manifest self situated this in way One themselves. find which relations social the with varies behave to moved how are they who conceptions people's that sense agnate brother, wife's in son a son, brother's father's agnate, affine, an is one as And on. so and mother, his of presence selves: symbolizes

Manus, reflective educated young, Indeed, insincerity. like eyes, modern looks, what view of consequence One described. sort friendship basis hence nature, unreflective Shaftesbury's sympathy natural Smith's basis There important. very none least situation endures you', 'real no there perspective this corollary A accordingly. behave expected is whatever, son up brought man position, life, experience not he this, saying insincere.' 'We fieldwork: doing were we while me wife my own his about observation education formal explicit implicit conceptions exposed also yet society Melanesian movements religious Protestant evangelical element important Guinea, New Papua media found expectation plasticity described ). 1996 Errington (Gewertz country she Notably, position. radical takes Strathem, friendship. required autonomy lacks situation, person's reflecting constructed societies degree indicates far thus described What moment. at interacting whom with relationship upon depending circumstance, circumstance vary likely fluid, more much however, man, Manus young self-reflective For society. polite enters course, until, goes; wherever so Tory, or Whig a one example, Toland's borrow groups. structure a place stable relatively rest, Ferguson for However, sources. interior than rather location social derives expectations, motives identity, pertinent one's cases, In Enlightenment. Scottish writers by criticized was patronage faction particularly self, Western old depart resemble selves how illustrates case This self. autonomous have all assumes which perspective, Western modern from considered when insincerity becomes self model relational constitute agree tend would sceptical even situations, across existing basic fairly Westerners identity aspects these striking most The Melanesia. situational treated fact in are you, gender, 1988 Strathern (see briefly itonly discuss already, made points of extension an argument her male. female father, mother both contains person each that to is them, produced who those containing as themselves see people Melanesian that say To identities. their and men on focus ethnographic primary the follow Iwill Likewise, 182—7). 32, argues because such real :119

(1992 Mosko Mark :299). efficacy'( own its evidence counteracts those other, acts elicits sex '[E]ach ways. ways, certain act women lead because become gender, terms by are, person sort what oneself, realizes One one. around people affecting agency, speak better exists. se per say correct There, different. However, (1988:104). exercised there something possessor', resource 'a power view predominant She power. discussion most made point This relations. social themselves realize selves argument Strathern's element third Isaid groups. domestic feminine androgynous groups agnatic masculine membership between feel can tension conceiving sense, important. whose men opposed assemblage unitary clansmen fellow stand same occasion another On male. predominantly as construed agnates, clan set relation stress may activity clan household domestic his money spend obligated feels man example, for Thus, predominate. neither times yet predominant, will component male times, At capacities composition internal their recognition knowledge anticipate evince 'persons says he when way different somewhat puts in until father a female power, have know You it. celebrated than rather interaction, through defined or discovered identity problematic, because Rather, identity. pre-existing affirmation just be would counteract eliciting automatic, Were :299). (1988 anxiety' uncertainty conditions ..] [. under iteffected elicitation; about automatic nothing 'There outcome: sure with process automatic is this that however, note, important It others.' responses actions. to respond ways others, has effects but self, not comes who sense one's Indeed, part. one which relationships spring sentiment even motive hand, other on Melanesia, In judgement. moral Shaftesbury's sympathy natural Smith's seat motive, of source key unfettered conception, In others. embodies by constituted being, very person's a springs entity irreducible autonomous, an is Western Where Western. from clearly differs self Melanesian the things, describe others and Strathern As situation. that inn least at are you then not, do they if And settings. appropriate :203)

sentiment. experience If unlikely indicate descriptions relationships. affective no have Melanesians mean does This source interior lacks it sort, friendships can one described Melanesian but attributes, distinct sentiments speak likely close those indication, any fieldwork own my stand they because another so on A kinship. ot in speaking way Thus, involved. encompasses relationships structure situation common terms each certain stands person third a poorly rather along gets speaker observation The that relations indigenous matched indeed situated rendering anthropological suggest examples These stressed. factors situational muted attributes sentiments personal then, here, Even China. for describes 119—136) pp. volume, (in Smart together, school went together; worked We situation: shared explained commonly circumstance, In university. or work meet country parts different two when serve, will kinship idiom where course, cases, There amicable about think talk how point, beside relationship kin exactly couched recognize itimportant However, self. understanding modern a indicated friendship. sentiment with endowed spontaneous unconstrained autonomous, friends, being capable are who people sort conception associated discussed Ihave far Thus Self? Western Whose relationships. sorts other from friendship distinguish Westerners which by terms well reasonably reflects self suggests (1985) Hartsock Nancy validity: some has tme also thought. liberal actor autonomous self notion predominant true is It selves. society Western stylization and over-simplification occidentalist an visible, highly although understanding, those all lives reflect not do selves that same is this saying But society. positions dominant (1992 Lamont Michéle as effect, in working Americans mobile [..]upwardly culture large at population to 'universalize notions such self, the conceptions American analogous of observes sector'. for-profit lessons other. West. :180) .

Nancy Hartsock points

to one group

experience autonomy and are, hence, She notes that, in addition to their

are

not

likely

to

its children. In this household labour, women are enmeshed in that are more complex and constraining than those experienced by

household and

relationships

of Western people who

likely to have autonomous selves: women. wage work, women commonly maintain the not

rear

middle-class men. As she puts it, women commonly relational world' rather than one of autonomous selves,

experience one

'a

complex,

in which their

interactions voluntary: '[T]hose charge are

in

not

(1985:65, 66).

Here Hartsock

comes

to a

of small children have little choice'

conclusion

anticipated

by Nancy Chodorow (1978) who argued that because identification with their mothers while daughters do not, ,

to see

themselves

as

autonomous

I invoke Hartsock to make the

the

autonomous

Western

notion does themselves

to some

point

that the a

repress their early are less likely

so women

people

predominant Western notion of experiences of some

reflection of the more

than others. Those for whom the

fit may still espouse it, but, one imagines, lacking friends. While Hartsock singles out

not as

somewhat earlier

individuals. 1

actor, while doubtless

people, applies

sons

ago, Max while some economic actors can be autonomous, autonomy generally is restricted to the dominant, propertied classes. On the other hand, those without property factor in this

have

no

regard,

class is another

they are likely to see gender as a pertinent Weber pointed out that

such leisure. They

are

one.

Long

constrained by the need to sell their labour, 'in

order barely to subsist' ( Weber 1946 :182). Here Weber speaks of class in his own technical sense. Others have also addressed the relationship between class and

understandings of the self, and

hence say things that can help show the degree to predominant Western construction of the self applies to only a limited section of the population. However, while these writers speak of class, they do so in a loose sense, for what they describe is a set of practices, experiences and beliefs that, while they may be associated with class, ought perhaps to be kept distinct from it analytically. One of the more interesting writers who has addressed conceptions of the self and their relationship to class in this loose sense is Basil Bernstein, especially in his description of Bethnal Green's working-class families around 1960 (especially

which the

Bernstein 1971 ; lower

also Willmott and Young 1960 ). These families were in the class, but what is more pertinent for my discussion is their social see

working practices. They lived very localized and common lives. Wage-earners among them overwhelmingly had the same sorts of occupation, their jobs and social lives were circumscribed with the immediate, densely populated area of Bethnal Green. Consequently, people shared a high proportion of their experiences with each other: co-workers, neighbours, social companions and kin overlapped, in the way that they do for many Chinese workers (Smart in this volume, pp. 119— 136). One consequence of this social order is that people had what Bernstein called milieu and

a

'positional

orientation'.

They

saw

web of social relations. Bernstein much

like the

more

'personal

predominant

their selves

as

distinguished

view of the

was

in an

encompassing that looks

something

self, what he called the their selves as independent

autonomous

orientation'. Those with this orientation

entities, and Bernstein said this 2 English middle class.

locations

this from

saw

characteristic of the wealthier and

more

mobile

corollary of Bernstein's argument is that middle-class people, with their personal orientation, are prone to see themselves as having a self that transcends the different areas of their lives. Alternatively, people in the lower class, with their positional orientation, are prone to see their identity as a function of specific contexts. On the assumption that the pertinent experiences and orientations are One

related, albeit loosely, to class in the more restricted sense, it follows that people would be more willing to develop sociable relationships among co-workers than would those in the working class. Evidence that supports this

middleclass

argument comes from John Goldthorpe's study of Luton in the 1960s. Goldthorpe and his colleagues found that generally there was little likelihood that anyone would

identify

co-workers

as

friends: fewer than

a

fifth of those

they

studied did

so.

However, they also found that those of different classes differed in this regard: 'White-collar couples draw more heavily on friends made through work' than do blue-collar

see also Hunt and Satterlee 1986 ). of the point that I have drawn from Bernstein is that people with different experiences and forms of interaction are likely to construe their selves in

The

couples (1969:90;

core

different ways. The autonomous, unified self that researchers associated with the middle classes is particularly suited to the notion of friendship, a relationship that links people because of their spontaneous affection. On the other hand, those of working classes would be likely to see themselves as enmeshed in, defined

the

and constrained

notion of amicable

by a web of social relations, a notion of the self unsuited to the friendship. This is not to say that working-class people have fewer relationships, that they live lives that are emotionally impoverished. is to say that their relationships are organized, thought about and talked

Rather, it about differently, in

terms of mates,

neighbours

and kin rather than friends.

The idea that members of the

working-class structure their sociable relationships of the middle class is supported by Graham Allan.

differently than do members Drawing on published studies and his own work, he (1979:70) concludes that people in the working class tend to 'limit their sociable relations [to] particular social contexts and structures'. The idea that members of the working class see themselves as being more constrained by their relationships than do members of the middle class is supported by J. Bussey and his colleagues. In their study of the ways that people in Bradford gave presents, they found that higher-class respondents were prone to explain the giving by saying it was the spontaneous expression of autonomous sentiment, emotion and affection. On the other hand,

increasingly expectations refer likely respondents lower-class (1992 Dittmar Helga As 67). :61, 1967 al. et (Bussey found dictates agency self-determined identity construction dominant between exists congruence '[A] concludes, Evidence circles.' affluent belonging reality class related Toland idea. emergence early apparent sense loose but kin, faction inter-personal However, self. then, way, important :77). 1990 Girouard manual, etiquette (1737 Rustick' rude from Gentleman 'distinguish ready both also However, Tory. sight sour looked Whigs true unconstrained. seems, not, sentiments Shaftesbury, Smith For structures. constraining devoid individuals made describing they model descriptions But self. situated older Enlightenment Scottish writers 'was class, taste situation impersonal then, Historically, (1990:77). country' ran owned that suggest plausible 1997 Gewertz Errington generally, process (on among friends new making for warrant others by made them on claims denying relationships old cutting justified elite emerging an through device a much was self autonomous emergence have Conclusions Rusticks. rude intrusion free 105—21), at :especially 1988 Rybczynski (see lives lived within spaces, creating effort their more devoting people meet, could society polite where appearing, were spaces orderly grand time At architecture. Georgian contained contradiction embodied suggestion say or, universal see unwise be may means This friendship. capable who person autonomous self, corollary unspoken its has relationships, affective about thinking notion out pomt is, That chapter. this in purpose simple one, that. itonly mean not Ido thinking, way friendship saying In psychology. human product a as differently, somewhat thing same send Western modern messages private public the of in indirectly directly expressed it individuals, by rejected emulated Whether reject. or emulate to seek many that norm others. and themselves judge people which against standard a is It other. idea up ). had each :182)

development relationships purpose pursued other. toward act aspect central traced First, ways. terms think speak unlikely argued like, look might alternative what illustrate Melanesian used Second, affection. unconstrained capable being Finally, sense. Western suggested but development, historical an just not said particular, In others. population segments some be also evidence males autonomous classes, middle females among common situation constrained defined consider To classes. working way out change noted, have as was, there thought Western emerging individual model new time exchange. topic entry my returning do these, touching end it. associated encourage factors consideration encourages turn This practices. cultural social cluster larger part friendship each ordered ways So, resources. material drain remained while security, even power prestige, source a decreasingly was affinity household large A 78). pp.59— volume, Palsson (Durrenberger Sagas Iceland found sort inferiors, want likely retainers, bodies than rather state from protection able resources, substantial society, polite regarding Imade point echo time, same At 7). :chapter. 1994 Carrier generally (see transient re-cast, relationships many subsistence secure order into enter obliged less People forth. so employer clerk, strangers: relative are who those transactions through necessities gain to people proper possible transaction, sphere impersonal distinct a development With self autonomous spread facilitated which expressive, optional purely more became itseems change, this With terms. political economic in importance their losing were relationships personal durable people, ordinary increasingly and first at elite for that appears congenial particularly is interest, or calculation by unclouded sentiment involuntary on stress its with friendship, notion the that then, likely, seems It friendship. of idea modern three West, there other.

to

those in certain socio-economic situations. This has

The first and

is that what I have said is

simplest

a

a

number of corollaries.

prerequisite

of

friendship,

the

sentimental self, is likely to exist only among people who can pursue and economic survival and success through relatively impersonal

autonomous

political

mechanisms, capitalist examples. of which the

market and the state

The second

that

are

eminent

standard, part of people's friendship corollary taken-for-granted universe, is likely to emerge only where a significant proportion of the people in a society think that they can pursue their survival in the appropriate way or that they ought to be able to. Put in other words, when political-economic conditions are right and the autonomous and sentimental self becomes the norm, even people to whom it applies only poorly are likely to see themselves and their fellows in those terms. The result of this may be conformity to the norm, or it may be the decision that they are inadequate, that they lead lives that are impoverished emotionally, that they need to get out of their ruts, go out and make some friends. The third corollary is implicit in my discussion of the historical emergence of the autonomous self in Western thought. Were the nature of political and economic structures and processes in Western countries to change to resemble more the sort is

as a norm or

of relational system that Smart (this volume) describes, the notion of the self would likely change, and with it the nature and importance of the idea of friendship. The inverse of the own,

But to say this is only to say that the idea of friendship and sentimental self are cultural elements that do not exist on their

applies as well.

autonomous

but exist in

a

broader social,

political

and economic context.

Notes 1

Though

Hartsock's pomt is pertinent, the situation is obviously more complex some argue that, at least in the United States, the very

than this. For instance, notion of affection is

becoming gendered and,

more

particularly,

feminized

( Cancian 1986 1987 ). At the very least, this indicates that the notions of friendship and affection need to be clarified further. ,

2 Alexandra Ouroussoff (1993) echoes Bernstein's point without

using his study pseudonymous corporation, she found that managers saw themselves as autonomous, while ordinary workers saw themselves as defined by their position in a web of social relationships.

terminology. In her

of

a

British multinational

Marketing S. Hill Abercrombie References A. Allan Individuals Sovereign Barnett Unwin Allen Kinship Friendship Sociology A Relations Units Things, Persons, Societies: Capitalist Separations E. Behavior Gift-Giving 1979 W. Belk Michigan Arbor Ann Life Eveiyday Ideology Silverman Bamett Socialization to Approach Sociolinguistic A 1971 2 Research Turner R. Phillips Lowes Goulding Driscoll C. Darrington Banks Bussey Paul Kegan 1& Control Codes Class, Bernstein Campbell Bradford thesis (Hons) B.Sc. Households Bradford Survey Questionnaire a Including Giving: Gift Patterns 1986 Cancian Blackwell Basil Oxford Consumerism Modern Spirit Ethic Romantic 709 692 11 Signs Love Feminization Carrier Self-Development Gender America: Cheal 1700 since Capitalism Western Commodities: Gifts 1978 Chodorow Books. Routledge London Economy Gift 1992 Dittmar California Berkeley Mothering Reproduction Wheatsheaf Harvester Hempstead Hemel Be Is Have To Possessions: Material Psychology Geertz 53 333 3 Institute Anthropological Royal of Journal ofWewak Club Rotary The K. Errington B. Gewertz Books Basic York Cultures Interpretation M. Girouard 93 476 23 Ethnologist American "', "Modernity Guinea Papua Piety PepsiCo On 1987 M. Strong Symons Gouldner Cambridge Structure the Worker Affluent The ), 1969 J. Piatt and F. Bechhofer D. Lockwood H. J. Goldthorpe University Yale Haven New Town (English N. C. Nancy Hartsock Greenwood Westport, Friends their and Women Class MiddleFriendship: of Speaking Press :JAI Conn. Greenwich, 6 Vol. Theory Social Perspectives Current (ed.), McNall G. S. ',in Standpoint Feminist a from Critique Theory: Exchange 1967 1994 1988 1997 1973 1990 1985 Sheth 1996 Love ' — , ' , — '.,,'

Hirschman R. Hochschild Princeton Interests Passions S. Satterlee G. Hunt Feeling Commercialization Heart: Managed Lamont 37 521 Village Drinking Division: Cohesion 1993 Ouroussoff 717 693 27 Polynesia' Persons" "Partible Kings" "Divine Sons: Motherless 1992 Mosko Indiana Bloomington Consumer Birth 1982 H. Plumb Brewer N. McKendrick Cambridge Person of Lukes Collins S. Carrithers Self Person; Notion Mind: Human Category A [1938]), 1985 Mauss Blackwell Basil Individualism English Origins 1978 Macfarlane Chicago Class Upper-Middle American French Culture Manners: Morals, Money, Gift Indian Gift, The 1986 J. Parry 98 281 28 Tradition Liberal Premisses False Rationality: Illusions A. Silver Heinemann London Idea an Histoty Short A Home: W. Rybczynski 73 453 21 Man ", Gift' "Indian L. Trilling California Berkeley Melanesia Society Women with Problems Gift: the Gender The 1988 Strathern 1504 1474 95 of Journal American Sociology Modern Theory Social Eighteenth-Century Society: Commercial ',Friendship Party Status, Class, 1946 Weber Harvard .: Mass Cambridge, Authenticity Sincerity ), h (Gert M. Young and P. Willmott Press University Oxford York New Weber Max From (eds), Mills Wright Paul Kegan & :Routledge Suburb London a in Class and ),Family 1977 1983 1990 1972 1960 Hans C. '' ,' ,.,

— — -

— 3 —

Friendship: Ideal

The Hazards of

an

Relationship

Robert Paine

... if I had to choose between should have the guts to

betraying my country betray my country.

and betraying my friend, I

hope

I

E.M. Forster, Two Cheers for Democracy

The Self and Two Worlds of Value

Understandings of friendship are surely predicated on understandings of self, and begin ( Cohen 1994 ; Taylor 1994 ; Trilling 1972 ). My question is,

it is there that I

how, sociologically, does one verify one's own self? There are of course a variety of ways of doing that, all of which impart cultural nuances to the meaning and handling of friendships; I suggest, though, that behind the variety are two radically

They are seen in the questions: Am I true to the self others see in me, the self that society has 'given' me? Or, am I true simply to my own self, the one that I 'made'? For the moment, consider them as though they experientially mutually exclude each other, and that there is only one of each. different value orientations.

The

one

has

do with the importance of the total social person in Tord Larsen puts it, '[T]he individual discovers his true

everything

all social relations. Or

as

to

in his roles, and to turn away from the roles is to turn away from himself' (1987:6). Thus in Ambéli, the Greek village studied by Juliet Du Boulay, 'It is to

identity

confirm his identity' (1974:13). Or there is Stevens, the butler in Kazuo Ishiguru's The Remains of the Day: 'Like the silver he polishes so skilfully, the man's whole identity has been a reflection of others'

the

village

that the

villager looks

to

( Wigston 1989 : C17). 1 Both, the villagers and Stevens, are locked into rules of conduct that virtually compose their very being. This, we may say, is the world of

'tautological'

value ( Larsen 1987 )

or

better, in Alfred Schuetz's formulation, the

world of 'common sense' with its currency of 'of course'

assumptions ( Schuetz

My sincere appreciation for critical readings and insightful comments to my inter-disciplinary colleagues Mike Aronoff, Bill Barker, Anne Hart, Peter Harries-Jones, Stuart Pierson, and volume editors Simon Coleman and Sandra Bell.

Robert Paine 1944 :499, 502). Here, individuality may even be seen 'not identity but as the loss of it' ( Du Boulay 1974 :80).

as

the expression of

The other value orientation emerges in situations where there is no unfragmented total social person and where '[w]e live in a continual competition with society

ownership of ourselves' (Arnold Simmel 1971 :72) and where '[f]aith is longer socially given, but must be individually achieved' ( Berger et al. 1973 :81).

over no

the

This I call the world of idea-value. It is that the hazards of friendship

though,

I return to Du

at

the

centre

ideal

of this essay. For it is there are especially notable. First,

relationship Boulay's portrait of Ambeli as an

governed by tautological value,

for

a

portrait

of

a

culture

to better secure the contrast between these 'worlds'.

'Idealness?' Of course the people of Ambéli know it, but in a muted and impersonal way. Here, for example, is their view of the conjugal bond: '[Two people] embark upon marriage, not as a result of a deep affinity of character, nor because they see in each other any unique personal significance, but in order to form a social and symbolic unit —to set up house together and to procreate children' ( Du Boulay 1974 :90). This is wholly in accord with the ethos in which 'identity' (in the singular)—the sense of self—is imparted through membership rather than by one's 'own essential individuality' (202); it leaves friendship 'almost by definition, impermanent' (213). Where there is a conflict of interest, loyalty to the family prevails over friendship of course; yet even in everyday circumstances, friendships are especially unsafe (190) for confidentiality between friends is not upheld —kinship

loyalty

intervenes. 2 Still, there is

a

need for

friendship;

it is

a

need of mutual aid.

friendship becomes instrumentally without deepening a friend's sense of commodity of exchange: 'friendships are exchanged among the community rather than actually destroyed' (215). Perhaps the important point for us is that, in Ambéli, the self is the fulfiller of roles with but the minimum of independent self'for where awareness, and the personal and private friendship is an impossibility 3 you do not know yourself you cannot know others' ( Du Boulay 1974 :84). Illuminating comparisons are at hand from two other classical anthropological studies from the Mediterranean. In Alcala (Pitt-Rivers 1961 ), an Andalusian pueblo and a larger community (population: over 2,000) with a more diversified social structure, the situation is, accordingly, a modified version of that in Ambéli. There is place for the cultivation of individuality and with that a general importance attached to friendship. Even so, there are few 'true friendships, founded upon esteem and affection, which approximate to the ideal and endure a lifetime': Thus

—

self—a

—

calculations of interest intervene and interfere (140). And, added to that, outsiders by birth are distanced: '[T]he system of nicknames in the townships of Andalusia seldom recognises any outsider by any ( Pitt-Rivers 1968 :16 n. 1). The situation among the

1964 ),

on

the other hand, is

pastoralist

identity

other than the

place

of his

origin'

Sarakatsani of highland Greece ( Campbell than in Ambéli. Here, too, 'the solidarity

more extreme

The Hazards

of an

Ideal

Relationship

of the family resides in its exclusiveness and opposition to those who do not belong', but this is carried to such lengths that 'any relationship with an unrelated

regarded by other members of the family as a form of betrayal' 4 (205; my emphasis). In contrast to the foregoing, the world of idea-value is one of high individuation that draws deeply on friendship. It is the various joinings of these two qualities, individuation and friendship, that particularly engage me. I think Suttles is just about right when he says 'friendship' (in the world of idea-value) 'demands a verifiable self [that] cannot be one that complacently complies with public propriety' ( Suttles 1970 :107). Still, that is only half the story. What of the 'demand' inside the relationship? In some measure or another, the intimacy of friends serves the need of each for emotional and cognitive security; even to the extent of reproducing an environment of 'predictability', 'expectation', and 'assured person would be

anticipation'

( Deutsch 1958 :265). In short, a closed environment of trust and confidences. Significantly, it also has some tautological cadence.

The emergent point, then, is that the two 'worlds' are dominant orientations where the one does not wholly exclude the other we all live with some of both —

of the

kinds of value (this increases rather than reduces the tension between them). However, I suppose this situation is truer of life for citizens of Athens, say, than it is for Ambéli villagers who, to a great extent, are guided through life by two

of ('problem-solving': Douglas and Wildavsky 1982 :80) institutions. 5 The difference here between these two 'worlds' is that, in the one, trust is likely to one

be

clear

a

set

'prescriptive'

between kin or bond friends ( Du Boulay 1974 ; Paine personal and private relationship there is no such prescription: choose each other so they choose to offer trust or to betray.

matter

1970 ), whereas in the

just

as

these friends

That said,

—

there

be (as we will show) anomalous intrusions of 'of though, course-ness' in the idea-value world. can

Friendship of 'Idealness' The

Still

in preparation for the particular ethnographic material that follows later, I 6 suggest three essential features of the ideal relationship in an idea-value world. The three are its rules of relevancy, its standard of equivalence and its privacy. now

Rules of relevancy refer and

friendship (from

to

now

what is

on,

permissible

all references

are

and/or desirable in to

a

relationship,

the ideal form within the idea-

value world) is remarkable in that those rules appear not to be imposed from the outside, and, furthermore, they may be largely hidden from view to all outside the

relationship.

Hence the 'secret code' of which

Ingmar Bergman speaks: giving fellowship' (Bergman 1988 :261). A standard of equivalence is essentially about what is a bargain within a relationship, and here friendship is an exception to the general notion that a 'good' 'you the confidence

to reveal

yourself in true

bargain for a person is one in which the value received is greater than that which is given (cf. 'transaction', Barth 1966). Instead one expects what R.D. Laing has called 'reciprocal interiorization' (1968:72). Yet the ideal of friendship rests not on the compulsion of reciprocity; rather, one gives freely of oneself and hopes to receive in the same spirit. Thus it follows that this ideal of friendship in contradistinction to what the anthropological literature describes variously as 'bond friendships' ( Paine is a private as well as a personal relationship. And as Wilson 1970 :146—8.) (1974) reminds us, privacy refers to 'the state of relations between relationships' (101), that is to say, privacy insulates relationships from one another. Thus is constituted and maintained on the basis of good faith rather than jural —

—

friendship sanctions.

Woodstock;

Traitors

I think it important to recognize that the cadences of the 'ldealness' we are talking about have been very much on the minds of sociology writers, especially American, beginning with Kaspar Naegele in 1958 and picking up a head of steam with Gerald

colleagues in the early 1970s. Naegele-Suttles-Berger construction of friendship 'Woodstock' phenomenon of which I see Charles Reich's

Suttles and Peter

Berger and

tempted ethnographically

to

I

am

view

as a

his

the

7

programmatic declaration. The book heralds 'a revolution of the new generation' (2) and 'offers us a recovery of self' (3). 'The commandment is; be true to oneself' (242) not to the ethics of 'the Corporate State of the 1960s' (2) which work against the autonomy of a 8 personal self. The 'founding' sociological text of this reading of friendship (actually preceding Woodstock itself by a decade) is, I think, Naegele's, where he writes that by the logic of the senior class of high school students he interviewed, 'friendship becomes best-selling

The

Greening of America (1971)

as a

—

an

exemption from society' (1958:244; my emphasis). With Suttles this becomes:

'The

logic of friendship [...] is a simple transformation of the rules of public propriety into their opposite' (1970:116). This means that the portrayal of friendship as a social 'exemption' becomes one of aggressively counter-engaging the norms of public social life. And the quest for a 'verifiable self' that does not complacently comply with public propriety comes front stage: 'What is required is that each person disclose something about himself that would be embarrassing or damaging in a less restricted audience' (107). Perhaps the quintessential point from Berger et al. in this connection is that such an individual is '"interesting" to himself' (1973:78). At the an

time, as one recognizes how Naegele and company contributed to understanding of friendship, I think we should read them less as ethnography same

9

There is ground for scepticism as to what they put into exceptionality (which there is) of the friendship relationship; for example, the of much as night follows day across-the-board assumption of intimacy and

and

more as

moral

texts.

the

—

—

trust.

Ingmar Bergman is the

honesty, As

to

essential

the truth when he writes: 'Friendship demands demand, but difficult' ( Bergman 1988 :261).

only

nearer

(Suttles) as part of a verification process, particular 'of course' codes (Schuetz). the outside and conversant familiarity within the

what friends must 'disclose' to

that is

familiarity with

'Exemption' (to varying degrees) from

relationship: these, friendship. And the

between them, constitute the tension in the construction of

balance that is struck may be expected to change. At much the same time as Naegele and company were exploring (and

positing), sociologically, the contemporary liberation of the self, public attention, particularly in Britain, was being drawn as well to something in quite a different key to Woodstock: real-life episodes of espionage and treachery. British biographers, political commentators and, not least, novelists began to excavate, through the context of espionage, entanglements of the self with matters of loyalty and betrayal, and the places subterfuge and mendacity have inside a web of friendship. Taken together, Woodstock and entanglements ('fictional' and 'real') with espionage provide, I suggest, a broader ethnographic and imagined base from which to understand friendship and the lengths to which idea-value may be taken within it. Yet

a

theme is still that of the tension between those two kinds of self:

recurrent

strange love (it will be thought) that thus conforms to laws whereby it stands condemned in order the better to preserve itself' (de Rougemont 1956:35). those

'given'

me

and those I 'make', 'What

a

Foregrounding As I have said, the particular concern of this essay is with the perilous placing of these ideal attributes out in the world, and the extent to which they are honoured

in

practice. So,

in relation to the discussion thus

far, let

me now

foreground

some

of the issues that lie ahead. First, there is reason to question (as already noted) the extent of candidness between intimates and also whether the private universe is all that

Alternatively, what of 'unscripted' implications of their practice? Here I have particularly in mind their abuse. For perhaps especially in today's 'disembedded' society ( Giddens 1991 ), a friendship may be perceived as a sanctuary and this has its hazards. An individual may 'nest' in the special of relationship friendship so as better to pursue and protect from surveillance her/ his own separate agenda, even as emotive comfort is drawn from the relationship. This may lead to treachery. Now, words such as 'treachery' and 'traitor' or 'stranger' or 'intimate' or 'hero' —all indicate a relational and highly contextual state of affairs: a friend, my autonomous.

—

—

friend, may be a hero to me while a traitor to you. Or, my friend becomes a traitor in my eyes (though perhaps not in yours). 10 Moreover, what one took to be mutually

conjoined as in 'intimate stranger'. Such is the perceptual environment of friendship: itself a relational condition, it has its own politics. However, the conundrum is 'verifiable self'. Given the plurality of 'self' it is, first of all, not a matter of 'the' verifiable self but 'a' verifiable self according to occasion and context. Even then, one may expect 'competition' between more exclusive connotations sometimes become

than

one or a

against

movement

what others? And

from at

one

to

another. Anyway, who is the verifier and to oneself and/or to others especially

what cost? Cost

—

friends?

Loyalty The ideal of the

personal and private relationship is acutely dependent on there being separation between friends, and yet it is essentially defenceless against that eventuality. The dilemma is one of loyalty or, more to the point, of loyalties. Loyalty is one of the ways in which to express and experience self; yet loyalty reduces options, so while the idea of distributive loyalties is oxymoronic, as a social practice, within the 'world' of idea-value, it is near ubiquitous. 'Betrayals' of some loyalties in favour of others follow. And there may be due cause to ask no

moral

—

how much

weight

should be attached to any 'verifiable self'

sands ( Paine 1989a ). 11 Any of this can ravage our

friends, in whom

we

across

such

shifting

friendship, for of course it is these exact same persons, deposit our trust and some of our confidences, who are a

position to put our own notions of self and our self-esteem at risk. Here is Ingmar Bergman again, this time on this dark side of friendship, the relationship devoted to 'the truth' (1988:261): 'On the whole I have no illusions about my own talent for friendship. I am indeed faithful, but extremely suspicious. If I think I am betrayed, I am quick to betray. If I feel cut off, I cut off, a dubious and very in

a

Bergmanlike talent' (263). So where there should be trust suspicion may creep in, precisely on account of putting oneself 'in trust' to another. But what might Bergman, or any of us, put into the notion of being betrayed? Or rather, why does the notion occur in the first place? How does it sit with the acknowledged pluralism of 'our' world of idea-value, even allowing that an individual can have different biographies (cf. Berger et at. 1973 :69)? The answer is, I suppose, that each of our friendships is seen by us as touching the self in a unique way (its own rules of relevancy) each friendship, one may say, is a biography of the self. Perhaps, then, to feel 'betrayed' (Bergman) is to —

feel

one

And to

12 part of oneself that part which one 'gave' to the friend. Here we hear an echo from Tod Hoffman: 'We constantly define

has lost

betray?

some

—

and refine

our

loyalties.

And in

doing

so

we

commit our share of treasons

(1997:32-3). As viewed

by

the

putative

though, friendship: its

'offender',

accord with the endowment of the

all that may have happened is rules of relevancy are its own

in

to

make and unmake. This echoes Larsen's argument that 'individuals may change their social identities and preserve their individual authenticity' (1987:13). But, if there is offence friends

now

to

the

journey

principle of privacy and confidences that were passed between further, then there is 'treason'.

One way of handling a conflict of loyalties of one's own making is not to perceive it as such. The all-important and durable friendship of Harold Nicolson and Vita Sackville-West offers

an

example. They were husband and wife and parents

together, yet not only did each have their own many 'islands of personal privacy' 13 they also had independent homosexual lives (Nicolson 1971 ). course, the contradiction is dissolved at the cost of an open find in le Carre's The Little Drummer Girl (1983) However, betrayal. This such a resolution belongs more to the 'blind' passion of sexual love (and that is

Sometimes, of we

the the

.

with Charlie) than to friendship —the 'blindness' is without balance; among 15 things it doesn't see are alternatives.

case

So often,

though,

the conflict between

has the surface appearance of

having

loyalties

been

so.

is

not

resolved

even

when

it

Issues of verifiable self may be

just from others but also from oneself. Perhaps there is an element relationship, but I see it most strongly and interestingly Eliot's/ Thomas Becket's musing in Murder in the Cathedral. Becket,

hidden, and

not

of this in the Harold-Vita in T.S.

erstwhile friend and confidant of the King, has resolved the ostensible conflict of loyalties, that between Crown and Church, but then: The last temptation is the greatest treason: To do the right deed for the wrong reason For those who

Then there

are

serve

those

its resolution would

the greater

cases in

cause

..

.

may make the

cause serve

which the contradiction is

them ( Eliot 1962 :30),

not to

be resolved. For

destroy letting the contradiction live generates all with and the value has to do value; verifying the self. Perhaps the classic case a

value while

is the story of Tristan and Iseult and (its presentation as a love story aside) its historical affinity with the case of Becket (Crown vs. Church), along with its different resolution, is

The

is

in 'the

antagonism which grew up in the second half of the twelfth century between the rule of chivalry and feudal custom'; hence there arose 'a conflict between two kinds of duty', between being 'the vassal of some chosen Lady' (chivalry) and 'the vassal of a lord' (feudalism) ( de Rougemont 1974 :32—3). The culture of that day placed in the way of any resolution (54 and passim). And today? Friends can reach striking.

epic

grounded

'obstructions'

similar impasse (whatever the issues may be) but, in an effort to bypass a betrayal one loyalty in favour of another, the silence of secrecy may be kept (cf. Shils 1956 ).

a

of

'Nesting' On account of

its

friendship

become

this

same

can

account

making it

a

can

its own rules of

relevancy, including

those of privacy,

sanctuary of inestimable value to the self. However, on be an ideal 'cover' for someone in need of an alibi. The

credential is

a veritable self. But the catch is from the point of view of required the accepting friend —the plurality of 'veritableness'. It is this clandestine use of— even motivation for —a friendship that I refer to as 'nesting'. I draw on Kim Philby, 16 one of the Cambridge spies, as well as fictional characters in Graham Greene and le Carré novels to highlight some of the issues of 'nesting'. Let me begin, in keeping with many a real-life story, with 'friendliness' ( Kurth 1970 ; Naegele 1958 ) rather than friendship. Friendliness is one remove from friendship even though it may be mistaken for it. The difference is crucial. Naegele reports from his field research among high school students: —

Friendliness stood for be

recognized.

It hid

a

as

pleasant recognition of the other and a response to his right to as it gave [...] It was expressed in passing in the corridor,

much

-

between classes [...] This way it stood both for disengagement and acceptance. To intensity (including moodiness). As such it becomes an asset

value it, is to disvalue

[...] in the endless

maneuvers

[sic] of getting along with people (Naegele 1958 :241).

told, 'said as little as possible, and allowed people to assume [...] things they thought they knew about him' ( Page et al. 1968 :151; emphasis in the original). What they found was a 'straightforward [...] genial drinking companion and reliable friend' (271). And the Secret Intelligence Sendee (SIS) brass conflated

Philby,

we are

loyalty and patriotism So already behind

with social class and

upbringing. likely a culture of 'of course-ness' (Schuetz). This was true in the case of Philby; as le Carré put it: '[our] social attitudes and opinions [...] account as much for Philby's survival as for his determination to destroy us' ( le Carré 1968 :9). So the Philby of 'pipe, flannels and old tweed jacket' was verified ( Page et al. 1968 :139); but this was not a 'friendliness' there

is

verifiable self of an individual, rather, it was the verified self of a social category. 17 Yet friendliness may slide into 'true' friendship with its privacy and confidences. All the

more the shock then when the duplicity of a friend (cf. E.M Forster: 'friend country?'), such as Philby, is laid bare for all to see: 'You took me in for years [...] I once looked up to you, Kim. My God, how I despise you now [...]' raged a long-time colleague in the SIS ( Penrose and Freeman 1986 :397). Similarly with or

.

a

professorial colleague

at

of Anthony Blunt's

at

the Courtauld Institute: 'He had

[...] all those hours we had spent talking had meant nothing. Nothing all. He had been playing a game with his friends.' (520) What is being exposed here, once again, is the cosy falsely cosy notion of

deceived

me

—

—

simply have to do with spies and their duplicities, Stevens, Ishiguru's creation. Why the adage 'no man is a hero to his valet'? Presumably because the valet has back-stage access ( Goffman 1959 ). Now this is quite often what friends (or lovers) suppose they have, and yet, they may really be 'seeing' themselves more than they 'see' their friend; or they 'see' themselves and the friend through the prism of their But Stevens does not see himself, simply the man he serves. 'Why, Mr. Stevens why, why, why do you always have to pretend?' Kate, the housekeeper, asks Stevens in despair ( Ishiguro 1989 :154). For Stevens himself, however, it is not pretence but imitative devotion that he sees as the necessary vehicle of loyalty vis-à-vis his employer. But it means that Stevens loses not only Kate but seemingly any verifiable 'the verifiable self'. This doesn't

so

let

me

return

for

a

moment to

relationship.

self: 'You see, I trusted [says Stevens] I can't

even

say I made my

own

mistakes

(243; emphasis added).

irony is that this description of Stevens the compliant and loyal, and guileless servant fits how some of the supporting cast in le Perfect Spy (1986) feel about Magnus Pym: The

—

genuflecting —

Axel:

'Magnus

is

think he is

a

great imitator,

even

entirely put together

when he doesn't know it.

from bits of other

people,

Really

Carré's A

I sometimes

poor fellow' ( le Carré

1986 :501). a shell... All you have to do is find the hermit crab that climbed into him. Don't look for the truth about him. The truth is what we gave him of ourselves'

Kate: 'He's

(248).

Magnus, however, has a verifiable self (hidden away), it is simply that Axel and (le Carré's) and others had to deny it in order to distance themselves from

Kate

him. 18

Perhaps our perplexity

in being deceived inclines

us

to

ascribe weak

knowledge quickly of self to the treacherous 'friend'? 19 And the issue

becomes 'not

merely a matter of differing loyalties, but of moral absolutes' (Hart 1998 :294) where 'loving the enemy, Proffy, is worse [even] than betraying secrets' ( Oz 1997 :69). Needed here is the notion of intimate stranger. This is a person quite different from the 'stranger' ( Bauman 1990 ; G. Simmel 1971 ) who "comes today and stays tomorrow' (G. Simmel 1971 :143) who 'disturbs the resonance between physical and psychical distance' ( Bauman 1990 :150) and with whom it is impossible to have a relationship of'inner and exclusive' quality (G. Simmel 1971 :148). Indeed, the 'journey' of the intimate stranger is a reversal of the stranger's, who, belonging to 'the outside,' moves 'into the inside' ( Bauman 1990 :146). Instead, beginning

on the inside the intimate stranger moves to the outside while still seen as belonging. Thus in her account (1968) Eleanor Philby, wife of Kim Philby, speaks of the 'real horror of discovering that my husband was not the man I thought he was'

(1):

'I had

was

that

always felt that one of the

we

had

no

secrets

most

precious things which bound us together

from each other' (78).

Philby himself? Pitt-Rivers (1961 :139) writes of his Andalusian pueblo that '[t]he criterion which distinguishes true from false friendship flees from the anthropologist into the realms of motive'. This can be said equally, if differently, of Philby's life. Philby may well have needed friendship as much as anyone, perhaps more than most of us; not just as a 'cover' for his life as an agent but also emotively on account of his 'double life'. Here is Eleanor Philby again: 'He was able to pour into our relationship all the sensitivity and love a human being could possibly give to another. It probably was his only outlet and the only way he could have survived the strain of those thirty years' (1968:xiv). So Kim Philby qua individual perhaps found the sanctuary that friendship offers even as he 'nested' there. What he had to do and did-was to avoid open conflict between that personal imperative and his other loyalty (cf. K. Philby 1968 ). Hence the surety secrecy offered. 20 And

-

Adversarial Culture Here I return to the ideal

in the shadow of the

politics of politics, just as the tautological with its codes of 'of course-ness' expectedly dampens political ardour. I take the term 'adversarial culture' from Lionel Trilling (1967) the

verifiability

of self: after all, the very notion of idea-value suggests

for whom it exists and

to

relationship, friendship,

the individual from the tyranny of his culture [...] stand beyond it in an autonomy of perception and judgment

to 'liberate

permit him to

[...] and perhaps revise [it]' (12). There is course; but much of the

same

a

premonition of Woodstock

in this of

from the pen of Isaiah Berlin (1969 :131) In connection with the Cambridge Apostles' circle

comes

and, years earlier, from Keynes. of his youth and of the Bloomsbury group that followed,

Keynes wrote: 'We [between friends] entirely repudiated a personal liability on us to obey general rules. We claimed the right to judge every individual case on its merits, and the wisdom, experience and self-control to do so successfully. This was a very important part of our faith and for the outer world our most important and dangerous characteristic' (cited in O'Faolain 1956 : xxxvi). Of course Keynes exaggerated. But I think the point stands that the Apostles and Bloomsbury did help to shape a contemporary adversarial culture, as did Woodstock, and in doing so influenced a culture of friendship (cf. Becker 1962 ; Podhoretz 1969 ; Rutherford 1978 ). So E.M. Forster wasn't

so

alone after all.

The worth of adversarial culture is its readiness

to

challenge

contradictions, and the ideal friendship relationship with its

own

moral and social rules of relevancy

is made for that. However, the practice of adversarial culture (beyond its hortatory 21 rhetoric) introduces argument and beyond argument, fundamental differences. What, then, when friends find themselves on opposing sides? Can a person afford to win when there's a friend on the other side? How should, and do, friends fight? In C.P. Snow's novel of electoral

hurt in the to

politics

within

exactly, political in-fighting begin to explain the colour

a

two

are,

Getliffe: 'I can't

Cambridge college,

those

most

friends: Eliot and Getliffe. Eliot

red

to a man

who's colour blind.

You'd better take my word for it;' Getliffe to Eliot: 'It will be hard for me to think again' ( Snow 1956 :69, 72; cf. Paine 1977 ). In short, adversary culture

you reliable

the support of the idea-value culture found in the ideal code of and friendship yet, on occasions, it may wound, even destroy, such friendships. The likely causes of these casualties are of a different nature to those in the world

depends

of

on

value:

tautological

intervention of an more

often than

not

ascriptive

not

the exhaustion of the claim such

of an ethical

as

utility

of

a

friendship

nor

the

kinship; but, quite simply, disagreement,

ideological kind. well spawn public heroes

or

culture circles may (as they do traitors), the very least an 'heroic' ambience 'out there', and this is not without significance for the image-making of friendship. Heroes bolster the verifiable selves

Adversary

or

at

that individuals claim for themselves; heroes bring to public attention the value for which an individual strives; heroes thus give vicarious force to the (perhaps otherwise unsung) poetry of individual lives. In this sense, you don't have to know hero at first hand for he/she to be a 'friend' or to be led to a friend through

a

—

your hero.

Conservatively, [...]

heroes' values norms are

Sean O'Faolam tells

He represents

[...]

a

are a source

in contention? This

simply

that the hero, is 'a purely social creation 22 socially approved norm' (1956:xii). But what when of public controversy? When the heroic puts societal

posits

the need for

meritorious and others who

meritorious hero

us

a

distinction between heroes who

adversarial, perhaps complexly is conformist, the symbolic embodiment of the (supposed) are

so.

The

collective perhaps being publicly will,

even

to

the

extent

adversarial hero is non-conformist Where

of his

—

the innovator,

invented

visionary,

as a

hero. The

rebel. 23

simply meritorious heroes may seem to be little aware of the 'meaning' they are doing (cf. tautological value), the adversarial hero speaks, writes, and otherwise acts in a self-conscious absorption of 'meaning' (cf. idea-value). Yet the meritorious, played as a role, is of itself a useful 'cover'. Indeed, before he was exposed as a traitor, Kim Philby (of pipe, flannels and old tweed jacket ) was, to many in SIS, a hero not of the rebel kind but as one embodying the socially 24 approved norm. Friendship, then, or at least friendliness, was an appropriate relationship with him. of what

—

Own

Allegiances

The issue before

us is still the verifiability of self. In this closing section, though, perspective from the 'political' and manipulative to the 'subjective' (inasmuch as they are separable); for ultimately, perhaps, friendship has to do with the 'credibility' of our personal lives along with our 'anxieties' on that account ( Trilling 1972 :93). My chosen way into this is the paradox buried in The Homeless Mind ( Berger, et al. 1973 ), an inquiry into 'modernization and consciousness'. Peter Berger and colleagues saw the 'modern' predicament as, on the one hand, the loss of 'traditional' loci of security and verities, and, on the other, the impersonalization of life through the pervasive intrusion of bureaucracies (cf. Suttles 1970 ). The situation was characterized as one of generic 'homelessness' (82) from which emerges 'a quest for new ways of "being at home" in society' 25 (214; cf. adversary culture), It is a quest 'to plan and fashion one's life as freely as possible' in which '[i]ndividual freedom, individual autonomy and individual rights come to be taken for granted as moral imperatives' (79); and crucially, 'a subjective realm of identity is the individual's main foothold in reality' (78) all so different from life in Ambéli. The paradox is simply that 'homelessness,' viewed in this way as a process, opens the way to a condition of relative freedom from institutional constraints, and possibly, as Susan Sontag (1970 :185) would add, 'a harsh purification of "self". I will now briefly review each of our principal

I switch the

—

characters in this

light

—

First, though, allow white in South Africa, also in love with

a

not least among them Graham Greene and le Carré.

to introduce Maurice, the hero

me

in

The Human Factor. A

morally degraded by government apartheid policies, he is black South African: 'I became a naturalized black when I fell

in love with Sarah', he says ( Greene 1978 ; 119). Through his close relationship some of the self that was 'given' him as he 'makes'

with Sarah he exorcises

(remakes) his

own

self. A traitor for

some, an

discloses secrets to the USSR; and

a

adversarial hero for others: Maurice

key (and recurring) dialogue

in The Human

Factor is this: 'You haven't said

a

word of blame, Sarah.'

'What sort of word?'

'Well, I'm what's generally called 'Who cares?' she said. You've

never

betrayed

.

.

.

a

'We have

traitor.' our own

country. You and I and Sam [their child].

that country, Maurice'

( Greene 1978 :187). Maurice, then, is not 'nesting' in his relationship with Sarah. Nor is he 'a shell' for the truth about which you have 'to find the hermit crab that climbed into him', as we

heard Kate

saying

of Magnus

Pym.

26

might be thought that he had found a sanctuary in the Darlington, employer; and so perhaps he had —in the way Ambéli is that for its villagers. However, the subjective realm of his identity he squashed and he was friendless (and lonely) he had forfeited the freedom to fashion his life: his self was in a 'given' of sorts. And Philby? We have already spoken of how his relationship with Eleanor was possibly a sanctuary even as he 'nested' there. The seductively suggestive theme behind the Philby story is how life histories (particularly in their formative phases) may influence the turns that loyalty— and with it, friendship takes. In the Philby case it is not homosexuality or even the English class system (that was simply an assistance in his quest); rather, it is what I label as the 'natal expatriate' experience and one does not have to leave one's natal country for it to happen. Leaving Philby for the moment, listen to Graham Greene on his experience of school in England: 'I had left civilization behind and entered a savage country of Was a country in which I was a foreigner and a suspect. strange customs my father not the headmaster? I was like the son of a quisling in a country under occupation' (1971:74). Here neither school nor home offered a sanctuary (and the young boy feared that he would be seen as 'nesting' should he strike up a friendship). It was, apparently, a childhood of cognitive dissonance out of which, To return to Stevens: it

his

home of Lord

-

—

.

...

however, would of "being

at

come, once

adolescence

home" in

.

behind him, the 'quest for new ways al.). Remarkably, so it was with le Carré

was

society' (Berger speak, born into an occupied et

country, because the catastrophes great and there were so many things that I couldn't reveal that I seemed to go about in disguise' ( Masters 1987 :231). And so back to Philby. Here the 'expatriate-ness' includes the conventional

too:

in

'I was,

our

to

so

family were

context; in his

own

so

words; 'I

Arab world, and I

nationality' ( Page

was at

el

born in India, brought up in various parts of the I don't feel that I have any school in England was

...

al. 1968 :274). 27

The point that I want to draw from this

is how each of these men 'see' (or of the heroes adversarial kind do, assuredly, many 'saw') England and English life neither wholly from the inside nor wholly from the outside, but with 'side vision' from some in-between place. Being born on the edge of things in —

as

—

these ways 28 makes possible moral critique of our own society from points external to it ( Bock 1980 :949). For some, their situation becomes an invitation to live (in Graham Greene's as we

personal spies.

and

Without fail, deceiver

or

the

'dangerous edge of things' ( Masters 1987 :118); everything to do with the making and unmaking of private friendships; secondarily, it explains something about some

and this,

phrase)

have

a

seen,

on

has

life such

friend?

—

as Philby's evokes polarized responses —traitor or hero? and le Carré's and Graham Greene's perceptions of Philby

follow this pattern. John le Carré

sees

moral

degeneracy driven by deceit

—

'deceit,

as

I understand it,

[is] his

nature' (1968:15); Greene broods over 'the dilemma of

foreign agent with moral principles' ( Masters 1987 :116). In the one view the motivation of a man such as Philby is reduced to a crude and derisive deprivation the

thesis. 29 In the other, the to

question becomes 'should each individual be condemned allegiance?' ( Hoffman 1997 :39); should friends? However, we have seen that idea-value and the friendships within it are anything

blind

but blind (even verifiable self is

there is always an 'Ambéli factor'). Further, the notion of portable. In The Human Factor an SIS officer, avoiding the word as

concerning Maurice, comforts Sarah: 'Let's loyalty'( Greene 1978 :243). 'traitor'

say

—

he chose

different

a

Notes

ethnographer and Ishiguru a novelist, yet I give equal credence to both —and I use other 'fiction' in this essay too. Is this justified? asks one of my readers. In this instance of Ishiguru's Stevens, my reader wonders 'does he conceal an identity which the narrative allows to be revealed?' If so, does this mean we are presented with a different realm of 'truth' from that one finds in

1 Du

is

Boulay

an

ethnography? While aware that there may be a problem here acknowledge, my answer is ethnographers worth their salt (such as an

do 'reveal'; yet

precisely

(for good reasons) The 'truth' 2 'Not

in the

insights

meagre compared to those offered by Let each reader judge.

are

question?

only do people love

since the

study

of friendship, the

prescription

for

that I don't Du

Boulay)

of anthropology some

novelists.

gossip, but they are also, in a sense, obliged to, loyalty between kin means not only that one kinsman to

should preserve the secrets of another, but also that he should not exclude such a kinsman from his confidence' ( Du Boulay 1974 :156). 3 It is worth

noting that the friendships,

so

often of brief duration,

are

'unencumbered ( :32). might by —

say, undefended

one

Of itself, this could be taken

as a

ritual of any sort' Pitt-Rivers 1961 hallmark of the personal and private friendship; —

however, friends in Ambéli, far from making their own rules for their are constrained by the rules of kin groupings.

relationships,

4 Of course

were

that the whole story it would be hard to

imagine

a

family could

cope with the vicissitudes of life; in fact and this holds for each of the three cultural groups personal bonding (e.g. spiritual kinship, patron-client relations) -

—

with persons outside. These relationships tend to be 'marked' and are thus public knowledge and are likely to have greater longevity. occurs

5 The idea-value orientation

recognizes

not

just

ritually

the presence of contradiction

but its

importance

in the

making

of

meaning: in the tautological orientation, not recognized as that and are treated

however, such contradictions as occur are in a self-validating way ( Paine 1989b ).

(1969) for a fuller exposition. I called this ideal relationship a'luxury' that perhaps few cultures enjoy; one that does, I said, is the Western middle

6 See Paine

class. in August 1969, 400,000 young people were drawn to an open-air music festival cum love-in cum peace The occasion was one of 'exemption' from the rules and conventions of

7 For three

days

Woodstock, in Bethel NY, for

rally.

mainstream for Redbook 8 At the time

society. Margaret Mead was there and wrote a celebratory piece Magazine. of publication, Reich was a member of the Yale University Law

School. 9 Even so, the worry of another reader stands: the

of data

the British

to

scene. I

take his

point,

implicit

even as

transfer of this kind

I suppose there

are cross-

cultural relevancies (and important clues) in the cited writings. Meanwhile, what a challenging enquiry for someone! never prosper, what is the reason? For if it prosper, none dare it call treason' (Sir John Harrington, Epigrams, Book IV, No.5, 1612). 11 Similarly, the disclosure of a 'dark secret' (Goffman 1959) may be a pretence

10 'Treason doeth

—

a

piece

12 It is For

as

of posturing

well that

we

—

with the 'secret'

example, Bergman on

the

one

hand and

of the Mexican (male?) as a 'hermetic to dispossess oneself' (1961:31). 13 Harold writes

carefully

selected.

remind ourselves of the cultural on

specifity

in these

matters.

the other: Octavio Paz's view

being' for whom

'to confide in others is

Vita: 'How I have missed you! I am a bivalve, and don't function properly when I am forced to be unicellular' ( Nicolson 1973 :127). to

14 'Charlie [the drummer girl] was transported from her beliefs, driven to betray what she once thought she had stood for, thus recreating her loyalties' ( Hoffman 1997 :45).

15 On sexual love and love in relation

to

friendship,

see

Brain (1976) and de

Rougernont (1974). 16

Along

with

Burgess, Maclean, and Blunt (and a 'fourth man'?). Philby has imagination of both Greene and ie Carre: 'Haydon' in le Carré

exercised the

(1974), 'Harry Lime' in Greene (1950) and 'Maurice Castle' in Greene (1978). Both have also written about Philby himself condemnation ( le Carré 1968) and with sympathy ( Greene 1968 ). 17 The story of George Blake ( Blake 1990) like Philby, a KGB agent while working with SIS, but unlike Philby, not an Englishman by birth confirms that when it comes to the social category of'outsider', the Establishment, along —

-

-

with SIS, 'thinks' much the

same

way

as

the

villagers of,

say, Ambéli.

18

I may be wrong about this. At any rate,

whose research

Myron Aronoff,

into the le Carré novels far surpasses mine (and who generously let the manuscript of his forthcoming book on the subject), believes I am.

readings me see

paradigmatic 'chameleon', in Aronoff's view this signifies 'a hollowness, a lack of a centered personality [a lack of] a fixed repertoire' ( Aronoff [1999 ]). Notably, Hugh Trevor-Roper and Rebecca West speak of 'traitors' as 'moral and mental automata' unable 'to choose between good and evil' (Trevor-Roper We both agree that

Pym is

le Carré's

...

19

1968 :7; West 1947 :180). 20 Its management remains something of a mystery (cf. Sherry 1994). Certainly the notion of Philby having 'two separate sides to his head' with one of them a lifelong Communist' (Page et al. 1968 :26) gets us 'the real Philby nowhere (cf. Narayan 1993). A cardinal message in Graham Greene's oeuvre is that a life such as Philby's belongs to both sides (of the head), and Noel

being

...

Annan's comment

on

Pym, the central figure in le Carré's

acutely suggestive

of

possible psychodynamics

in such

A

Perfect Spy, is

cases:

'

Whoever he

loves he betrays and then wants them all the more to love him' (Annan 1986:3). 21 For example, both Blunt and Burgess (of the Cambridge spies) were Apostles in their time; the likes of

Hugh Trevor-Roper and Rebecca West would have Apostles, we may suppose, had they been at Cambridge, and both placed spies outside of all moral bounds (see note 19).

been the

22 This view is

variously

embroidered in the literature: A hero may be

central character of

no more

who is worth

than story 'simply talking about' ( Zweig 1974 :84) or 'a man who deserves to live in the imagination of his time' ( Howe 1962—63:364) or 'one of humanity's ideals, like the saint and a

a

someone

—

sage' ( Rutherford 1978 :1). 23 Of course, the life of a person may well embrace both the meritorious and the adversarial (perhaps along with a measure of complication); I suppose Homer's Achilles is the classical

example.

Trevor-Roper and Malcolm Muggeridge didn't see him quite as 'hero', they were, nonetheless, taken in by him. 25 Giddens (1991) with particular attention to the interrelation of 'disembeddedness', risk, and intimacy may be read as an 'up-date' on The Homeless Mind. 26 Along with 'Maurice', George Blake, of real life, warrants notice (see note 24 If Hugh

17). On his decision

to work for the KGB, he writes: 'I now felt a great relief. inward was over [...] I had purpose. Everything fell into place' My struggle Blake 1990 He :146). ( regrets he had to practise deception, but argues that 'the

contribution I could make to the cause'

greater'

than had he

come

as a

double agent 'would be significantly joined the Communist Party

out into the open and

(141). 27 He

was

called 'Kim' after the hero of Kipling's novel of that

name

—

an

Irish

among Indians and becomes involved in

boy who grows up

intelligence

exploits. The father, St John Philby, left India for Arabia where he became a prominent Arabist and close adviser of Ibn Saud; born of the English ruling class, St John maintained throughout his life an excessively ambivalent attitude to it and to England. The son, Kim Philby, was of course sent 'home' to school

England

in

-

Westminster.

28 As George Blake also recognizes that he was ( Blake 1990 :44). 29 To wit: 'Philby grew up with the idea that he was born an empire

rule; and he

was

born in

a

baby

to

-

world where "all his toys were being taken away by same is said of 'Haydon' (le Carré 1974;

history'" ( Masters 1987 :253). And the Masters 1987 :229).

References Annan Noel ( 1986 ),

'

,

29 : 3 5

Underground Men' The New York Review of Books May ,

-

.

Myron J. (forthcoming in 1999 ) John le Carré's Spy Novels: Ethic and Politics New York : St Martin's Press

Aronoff

,

Balancing

.

,

Barth Fredrik ( 1996 ), Models of Social Institute

Organization

London :

Royal

Anthropological ,

,

.

'

Baunian Zygmunt ( 1990 ), Modernity and Ambivalence ', in Mike Featherstone (ed.). Global Culture London : SAGE Publications .

.

,

Becker Ernest ( 1962 ), The Birth and Death of Meaning New York : Free Press Peter and Berger Brigitte and Kellner Hansfried ( 1973 ), The Homeless ,

.

,

Berger

,

,

,

,

Mind New York : Random House ,

.

Bergman Ingmar ( 1988 ), The Magic Lantern New York : Viking Press Berlin Isaiah ( 1969 ), Two Concepts of Liberty ', in Four Essays on Liberty London : Oxford University Press ,

.

,

'

,

,

.

Blake

George ( 1990 ),

,

No Other Choice: An

Autobiography

,

London : Jonathan

Cape Philip K. ( 1980 ), Review ', (Kenelm Burridge Someone No One: on Individuality) American Anthropologist 82 : 949 50 .

Bock

'

,

An

Essay

—

.

Brain Robert ( 1976 ), Friends and Lovers New York : Basic Books Campbell John ( 1964 ), Honour, Family and Patronage Oxford : Clarendon Press ,

,

Cohen

,

Anthony

,

P ( 1994 ), ,

Self Consciousness:

Identity London : Routledge Rougemont Denis ( 1974 ), Love ,

Row First .

An Alternative

,

Anthropology of

.

,

de

.

,

published

in 1956

.

in the Western World , New York :

Harper and

21993 2 Resolution Conflict Journal Suspicion Trust -7Morton 1982 Aaron Wildavsky Mary Douglas Juliet Boulay Du California Berkeley Culture T. Eliot Village Mountain Greek Portrait Murder Erving Goffman Stanford Self-Identity Modernity 1991 Giddens Arnold Edward Democracy for Cheers Two 1951 E.M Forster & Plays Collected Cathedral 1950 Graham Greene Anchor Everyday Self Presentation Heinemann William Man Third 1971 Grove War Silent My Philby Kim ),introduction Schuster Simon Life Sort Peter Hart Factor Human Tod Hoffman Press Clarendon Enemies its and 1990 Homer 45 31 104 Quarterly Queen's Loyalties Treasons Kazuo Ishiguru 64 333 15 Hudson Heroism Problem Lawrence: T.E. 1962-63 Irving Howe Viking Fagles Robert by translated Iliad R. Laing Publishing Aldine Chicago Relationships (eds) al. et McCall J. George Relations Friendly Friendships 1970 B. Suzanne Kurth Faber Day the Remains Tord Larsen Penguin Harmondsworth Experience Politics 1968 John Carré le 128 43 Research Anthropological '.Journal translation Cultural Morality, Action, Books Bantam Soldier, Tailor, Tinker, 1974 Deutsch Andre Generation Betrayed Who Philby: Knightley Philip Leitch David Page Bruce in Introduction Knopf A. Alfred York New Girl Drummer Little (ed.), Elliot Leyton Stoughton Hodder London Perfect A Anthony Masters University Memorial Research, Economic Institute John's St Friendship Dimensions Selected Compact: Kirin Narayan 52 232 XXVIII Review Educational Harvard Distinctions Social Some of Exploration An Acquaintances: and Friendship (1958 D. Kaspar Naegele Blackwell Basil Oxford Spy as Novelist The Agents: Literary 86 :671 95 Anthropologist ',American Anthropologist? "Native" a is Native How ), 1959 1978 1997 1989 1983 1986 1975 1987 S. 1962 & Risk 1998 IRA 695 — , , — — ,',— ., — '

Anthropological Anthropology Harold Fontana Nicolson Nigel ed. 1945—62 Letters, Diaries Nigel Nicolson Sean O'Faolain Atheneurn Marriage a Portrait Robert Paine Deutsch Andre Generation Betrayed Who 1968 Philip Knightley David Leitch Bruce Page Brace Harcourt Lange de Nicholas translator. Basement Panther 1997 Amos Oz Libraries for Freeport Hew Vanishing 505 4 Culture "Middle-Class" Analysis Exploratory Friendship: Search In 1977 Leyton Reprinted 2 VI Humanitas Friendship Approaches Anthropological 1970 ). 1975 Research, Economic Institute John's St. Factionalism Divided? House (eds), Silverman Marilyn Salisbury Richard Snow P. C. from Learn to There's What Academicus. Furor Octavio Paz 72 657 24 Man Esteem SelfSystems Agonistic Two Comparing Culture: High-Wire b), 1989 1. No. Paper Occasional Sociology, of Department Columbia British Lecture), Memorial Naegele Kaspar (The Traitors Heroes, Friends, Our a), Simon Freeman Barrie Penrose Evergreen Solitude Labyrinth Eleanor Grafton Blunt Anthony Life Secret Silence: Conspiracy Kim Philby Hamilton Hamish ILoved Spy Philby: Kim 1961 Julian Pitt-Rivers Inc. Press, Grove War Silent My — Press University Chicago Sierra People Guest Stranger, Peristiany J-G Host Hostile Morality Playboy: ),Synge's 1969 Norman Podhoretz Co & Marton Hague and Paris Change and Communities Rural Mediterranean the Playboy (ed.), Whitaker R. Theodore Hero 1971 A. Charles Reich Prentice-Hall NJ Cliffs, Englewood Essays Critical Collection A World: published First Books Bantam York New America Greening 507 499 49 Sociology of Journal ',American Psychology Social Essay An Stranger: The 1944 Alfred Schuetz :MacMillan London Virtue Heroic in Studies Five War: of Literature The ), (1978 Andrew Rutherford 1973 1956 1961 1986 ) Western — — — — — ' '' , — .,,'

Greene, Graham )Life 1994 Norman Sherry 1971 Arnold Heinemann Melbourne Secrecy Torment A. Edward Shils Cape Jonathan Freedom Isolated Not Is 'Privacy Pennock Roland Georg Simmel Atherton Privacy Chapman W. Susan Sontag Masters 1956 P C. Snow 1908 on Forms Individuality On (ed.), Levine N. Donald Stranger 1970 D. Gerald Suttles MIT Mass. Cambridge, as Anthropologist Lévi-Strauss: Claude (eds), Tany Nelson E. Hayes Hero Anthropologist Charles Taylor Publishing Aldine Chicago Relationships Social (eds), al. et McCall J. George Institution Social a as Friendship 1968 Hugh Trevor-Roper Princeton Multiculturalism, (ed.), Gutmann Amy Recognition Politics ): 4 XXX Encounter Affair Philby Lionel Trilling 26 1963 published First Penguin Harmondsworth Beyond Rebecca West University Oxford London Authenticity and Sincerity Nancy Wigston Press Viking Treason Meaning Butler Discreet Shock Culture The J. Peter Wilson 3 June Mail & Globe Day), (Remains Paul Zweig 102 93 9 ',Man Gossip and Anthropology into Enquiry An Names: Good Filcher the in Adventure of Fate Adventurer: The ), Books :Basic York New World 1967 1972 1947 1989 (Review 1974 John Western Volume 1939—1955 Two: '' ,.',.

— .— —

— 4 —


of Friendship in the Absence of States, According to the Icelandic Sagas

The

Importance

E. Paul

Durrenberger

and Gísli Pálsson

anthropology, friendship has usually taken a back seat to kinship. A pertinent example is Turner's article on the Icelandic sagas (1971). While Turner the importance of the 'diverse ties of kinship, affinity, neighbourhood, political affiliation and friendship', arguing that 'politics, or better, politicking, rather than kinship alone, seems to play a major role' (365), he tends to the role of kinship when outlining the 'fields' and 'arenas' within which 'social dramas' take place. Indeed, for him one of the sagas, Njáls saga, is an 'anthropological paradise' because of the wealth of information it contains on genealogies and family memoirs: In

acknowledges

overemphasize Of course,

'multiplex'

anthropologists, with their practical immersion in small-scale societies with social relationships [. .] attach great importance precisely to genealogical

connexions, for kinship

.

such, in societies of this type, is often the spine or main trunk of articulation of many kinds of social relationships, economic, domestic, political, and

as

(361—2, emphasis in the original).

so on

This article explores the nature and dilemmas of medieval Icelandic friendship in the context of big man-follower relationships, focusing on the constraints and characteristics of voluntary ties in the absence of a state. As

we

will see, Turner's

emphasis kinship hardly does justice to the 'ethnography' of the sagas; friendship was a central social institution during the time of the so-called Commonwealth period, a social formation which lasted for roughly four centuries, from the late ninth century to the imposition of the Norwegian state in the late thirteenth century. In medieval Iceland, friendship was more important than kinship in the sense that often the former activated the latter rather than the vice versa. Kinship was on

We thank Eirikur

Rögnvaldsson and Oðinn Gunnar Oðinsson (both at the University of Iceland) searching for information on friendship in a computerized database containing the Icelandic sagas. Also, we appreciate the comments of Sigriður Dúna Kristmundsdóttir and Haraldur Ólafsson (both at the University of Iceland) regarding some of the ideas presented in the paper. for their

help

in

E. Paul

one means

Durrenberger and Gísli Pálsson

among several to

develop friendship and

sometimes it did not work.

We shall argue, on the basis of sketches from the sagas, that Commonwealth friendship ensured mutual trust and support in a loosely-knit social structure at a time of shifting

alliances. The sagas

political

provide

evidence for the idea (if not

practice) of spontaneous or 'pure' friendship. More often, however, saga accounts relating to friendship concentrate on the rather opportunistic aspects of crafting a friendship by gift exchange or sometimes by 'buying' relationships. This supports Paine's critique (1969:507) of the idea that friendship is simply 'the act of proffering the outstretched hand'. Mauss, one may note, opened his essay on exchange and reciprocity (1954:xiv) with a citation from a medieval Icelandic document on gifts and friendship. The practice of crafting a friendship with gifts resonates with Smart's argument (in this volume, pp.l 19-136) that instrumentality and sentiment represent potentially interrelated phases in the nurturing of friendship. There is relatively little evidence of female friendship, but this may be due to the patriarchal bias of the sagas and the impact of the literary genres and rhetoric of medieval Europe which focused on male bonding.

unconstrained The sagas reflect social life their rather

in

the stateless society of the Icelandic offer a wealth of

Commonwealth. Despite objective style, they ethnographic information about what

tend

'personal" matters including the concepts and practices of friendship (vinátta, vinfengi). Saga scholars usually distinguish between several genres of sagas. The so-called 'family sagas', or 'the we now

sagas of Icelanders', describe the A.D. 874 and

to

classify

period

as

—

from the time of settlement, between

930, when the General Assembly (Althing) was founded, to sometime

Christianity, in the year 1000. They comprise about one hundred sagas and shorter stories that were compiled in several large manuscripts 1 at various times after they were written. Sturlunga saga (named after one powerful after the introduction of

family), on the 1230

to 1262.

2

other hand, largely concentrates on near contemporary events from While it is both necessary and legitimate to speak of different genres

of sagas, we should be aware of the difficulties of definition involved. The notion of literary genre has been subject to many debates; as Todorov points out (1990:16), to define genre

as a

'class of texts' is

mere

tautology

have used several rather

Traditionally, anthropologists rigid 'typological' multiple forms of political systems. Typologies obviously have their drawbacks. In particular, they do not facilitate an adequate understanding of processes of change, nor do they satisfactorily deal with 'intermediate' cases and the range of variation found in the ethnography. And some schemes have been challenged for their ethnographic hollowness, for shortage of actual cases or schemes to deal with the

illustrations. Thus Carneiro claims that Fried's notion of 'stratified non-state'

society, a notion that may be applied to the Icelandic Commonwealth ( Durrenberger 1992 ), is a 'phantom concept' (Carneiro, cited in Gledhill 1988 :11). Indeed, Fried himself

suggested

that 'stratified societies

lacking political

institutions of state

Friendship level

almost

are

seems

in the Absence

of States

impossible to find' ( Fried 1967 :185). Some classification, however, identify similar social formations, to indicate what kind of

essential to

comparison would make most sense. Whatever the Icelandic Commonwealth was, it was definitely not a collection of bands, an egalitarian society, a family-level group, or a state (Pálsson 1995: chapter 4 ). Generations of saga scholars have extensively studied saga texts as literary and historical documents. For some literary scholars, there is no medieval Icelandic culture outside the sagas; the sagas constitute medieval culture. Thus Meulengracht Sorensen suggests 'there are no longer any roads to reality outside the actual sagas' (1992:28). The literary tradition has remained silent on social and comparative approaches to medieval Iceland. For two decades or so, however, several archaeologists, literary scholars, and social historians have been identifying and exploring the value of an approach which reverses the priority of text over life (see Hastaip 1985 ; Durrenberger 1992 ; Pálsson 1995 ; Earle 1997 ). From this point of view, the sagas are potentially valuable ethnographic documents. Even if the saga accounts were mostly fictive, they would not be devoid of ethnographic

anthropologists,

value. Baxter remarks, with respect to many areas of modern life, that 'it is difficult, impossible, to observe at all, let alone as a participant observer [. .] so it

often

.

seems

sensible to

use

the

published

observation of those who have

(1991:123). This applies, of course, especially have

to students of the

participated'

past. We simply

got much else to work with. Combining saga readings, modern and archaeology in a kind of Bakhtinian dialogue between the past and

not

ethnography, the present may ‘A

Century

significantly

add

what

we

know about the Commonwealth.

of Friendship’: A Problem of Chronocentrism?

To what extent are

we

able to understand medieval realities

derived from modern societies?

by

to

Generally,

Gurevich and the French 'Annales school'

modern criteria

on

the minds of

people

in

terms of concepts

the 'historical

anthropology' advocated against the imposition of centuries. To paraphrase the

warns

of earlier

substantivist argument in economic anthropology, the medieval world and the modern one represent quite different systems of literary production. Beside the obvious difference in

technology between the 'age of ink' and the 'computer era', there are differences in concepts of historiography, writing, and literature as well as social relations of literary production. There are grounds, on the other hand, for resisting the popular claim that the past is inevitably a 'foreign country' ( Lowenthal 1985 ). O'Brien and Roseberry (1991) suggest that a form of historical theory which is based on the foundation of cultural relativism necessarily fetishizes the past, exaggerating its distance from an unproblematic present. Evidently, in exaggerating difference and denying agency, the modern chronocentric discourse of alterity, whether it be in history or anthropology, is just as ethnocentric as the earlier

distinctions content both another, age about Writings it. access privileged notion any nevertheless questioning history happened something assuming position, intermediate adopt :39) 1987 Patterson scholarship modern war' cold 'critical in indulging refrain should Perhaps primitive. view Eurocentric interest renewed there Europe, poets number friendship. (44 amicitia De Cicero's particular, works classical early returned intellectuals antiquity giants friends themselves conceive could tradition, consciousness values of continuity this In plane. spiritual true redefined they as beliefs same much maintained writers religious amicitia, corpus own their adding producing While .] [. possible embodiment ideal its and life good to fundamentally contributes friendship that asserted received Ages Middle the which amicitia on works Latin The courts monasteries cultivated vellum, ink operating cyberspace Latin-based kind community— intellectual a friendship :41). 1994 recollections) personal dialogues, philosophical (treatises, genres literary variety theme recurrent A texts. Greek classic readings on love courtly applied usually twain', bodies soul 'one On pp.21—38). (in Carrier society 'modern' restricted seem therefore, not, do 'friendship' classify nowadays we ties voluntary affective :81). 1995 Ziolkowski friendship"' "the called properly equally itcan love, viewed 'popularly is century although Ages Middle historian An century. twelfth evident particularly was revival This males. two between friendship of'perfect' ideal changes fundamental undergone 'individual' term Thus, another. context from vary friendship, discussion central are all society, person, self, Carrier) (along mind keep needs one hand, other ages, middle In history. course change discontinuities. namely opposite, very suggests contrast, Nowadays, Trinity. unity like divided, be cannot which that whole 'indivisible' to referred echoes individual European 'indivisible', The (1976:133). history' political and social extraordinary an language record a 'is out, points Williams individual, concept English meaning emphasized perspectives relational shown, has Gurevich As Scandinavians. medieval concepts the with resonates it purposes, our for importantly, More ). 1999 (Bird-David hunter-gatherers studies recent well as pp.21—38) volume, this in (Carrier, Guinea New of ethnography Hyatte scale. based issue B.C.): idea .

— —

collaboration sociological Commonwealth, possessions, other, linked indissolubly themselves regarded Scandinavians undivided connected, closely were qualities inherited nobility possession, categories The cultivated: they land and men indivisibility awareness general reflection found possessions his with linked personally was man that fact And .] [. Scandinavians ancient the minds individual concept historicity about considerations These :178). 1992 (Gurevich nature of world discussion make context timing Many problematic. somewhat Commonwealth period importance relative debated therefore, have, Scholars abroad. occasionally are metaphors styles, plots, devices, classical range well themes exotic Thus, texts. borrowed presumably material, 'alien' accounts indigenous their add clearly sometimes realities Icelandic pre-Christian focus purport Sagas monasteries. copied Iceland thirteenth-century turmoil composed connection European available. evidence limited given all, once settled be unlikely issue Christianity. hegemony state society later and, Commonwealth, early writing timing go Active factual implied. often other, history, anthropology hand, one studies, between boundary speakers, writers generations utterance text If discourse. distant a echoes contains saga Every sagas. value from detract necessarily not, each contest did definition, by Friends, differentials. regarding ambiguity amount certain a ensuring men', comparison 'the indulge would involved people them, inequality potential despite that, precisely implied claims establish how on dwell indeed, many entourage any into built is Inequality documents. ethnographic as credibility lending Europe, movements literary artefacts simply not the system political products were sagas that view for support additional provides This Commonwealth. relations hierarchical part integral was however, sagas, to According friends. relations egalitarian necessarily emphasized friendship ideal European The hand. by power consolidation increasing With dominance. hierarchy escalating conditions under involved, parties among commitment mutual notifying publicly context, this in role important an played probably brotherhood bloodor Ceremonial apparent. increasingly became bond friendship dilemmas ethical and tensions period, the of sagas other. end do hand ..

needs mirror somehow must texts, European translations 'mere' producing sometimes rhetoric, texts foreign extensively depended authors contexts, non-European from descriptions parallel issues, few mention exchange, warfare, narratives saga Many Iceland. reality therefore, and, circumstances have Durrenberger, Turner anthropologists, Several coincidence. simply consistent too parallels experience their similarities struck realities, daily vengeance factions, hauntings, feuds, ghosts, sorcerers, witches, society Ilived 'Because accounts: words, Turner's :4). 1992 Durrenberger me' believable true seemed which emphasis realities. history own writer's reflective represented) itis (how works how assumptions written, are exactly occur events if Even (1971:371). diaries' records ethnographic filled wellexceptionally like 'read echo may 'pure' place position formal occupied While goði). (singular goðar men, in vested power Commonwealth, In Context Historical and Social The places. times other formations social similar Iceland medieval dynamics about know think see, shall we as resonate, clearly friendship accounts many Europe, twelfth-century culture scribal ideology or units political number fixed goði between bond on), later thirty-nine first, at (thirty-six country share might goði inheritors Thus, individual. single with associated it nor unit, territorial well-defined over authority imply necessarily did goðorð A contingent. personal both followers made law where 930) founded (Althing, Assembly General meetings annual attend obliged Each assemblies. local there on early From goðorð. responsibilities power he man, one If friendship. those including connections, testing breaking, making, coalitions, building for arena but institution a primarily not Althing The clashes. violent led often These defendants. farms the at execution courts holding by judgements legal enforce Plaintiffs dispute-processing. mode important an was Violence procedures. intricate according adjudicated cases a entourage the group: sorts two There voluntary. equally were men big Relationships follow. man select and context this in role little very played Kinship it. maintaining advantage some see relationship kind either to Parties men. big ).coalition 1913 (Phillpotts existed they had kindreds, bilateral be would what of members among relationships feud detail these there his sagas been

important entourage Icelanders), saga (the saga Íslendinga manoeuvre. accumulated Wealth anew. building carefully regained inattention power-base lost how describes instance, saga, Hrafnkel's fortune. losses great cause miscalculation social following strong sufficiently maintaining Inattention sphere. economic separately context Iceland within exchanges Important fights. Althing, at cases law winning feasts, holding relationships, foster marriages arranging following, one's manoeuvre, matter primarily leader Being entourage. an head trying oneself base developing entourage big-man standing good member being depended force coalitions through only could One ownership. state there resources, unequal property, concepts rested system social The houses timber goods consumed trade. but poetry, even marriage by wealth gaining people century thirteenth during incidents many relates compilation, Sturlunga 965 After (bœndur). tax-paying as defined legally a resources sufficient access who Those 1262. until settlement first persisted big-manship institution aspects integral are functions These others. suppoit ability consumption, generosity level by indicate, followers friends clothing weapons imported brewing, grain churches, be Without raids. such defend followers, other raids accompany assemblies, armies, personal large increasingly feed dependent man. follower would his man, travel for expenditures speak, so 'rent' fund, component one This supplies. arms both with them farmers on rely The ). 1992 (Durrenberger production adding without household consumers itadded proposition, difficult this but armed followings maintained some establishments, support estates 'own' their Big smooth. fanners men between Relations no land ownership force, amass ability gain order men. power balance any maintain possible therefore was It force. overwhelming muster attempt had Each frequent. which men, among alliances of realignment in lose farmer it, take simply or land, claim powerful more another him, abandon might man big his since secure, not were to claims farmer's a so, Even risk. at life fanner's put farm the from labour took expeditions addition, In livestock. and land each —

overwhelming force, each big man had to expand, and on an island such as Iceland, with limited resources, any expansion was at the cost of other big men. Such attempts at expansion on behalf of all the big men provide much of the dramatic action of the Sturlung period. The alternative to expansion was to lose influence, the ability to make good one's claims, one's followers, and one's power as a big man.

The

for expansion came from the householders' funds, from the appropriated from the landless workers as they replaced slaves.

resources

production they

The 'social cost' of the system of poor and landless people.

was

the creation and maintenance of a

large

class

By the thirteenth century, the institution of big-manship became exaggerated, the demand for

luxury goods increased just at the time when the foreign trade was falling off and the Norwegian traders came less and less frequently. Whereas big men had gone overseas to obtain luxury goods in the early part of the few did in the later period. It was more important to stay in Iceland in order to manage the entourages and coalitions necessary to insure enough force to maintain claims to land ownership on which the extraction of value rested. At the same time, and for the same reasons, the necessity of foreign goods increased. For a while Norwegian traders came to Iceland but by the end of the twelfth century the Norwegian trade diminished because the traders had no use for Icelandic woo! and had no grain to sell. As the use of force increased, so did the necessity to maintain overwhelming force and the necessity to build and maintain entourages

Commonwealth,

and coalitions through the social manoeuvre that was facilitated by the gift, and display of imported goods ( Durrenberger 1992 ).

consumption, When the

ceiling

on

the size of

holdings

was

removed

by the availability

of

hired labour (around year 1000), large landholders began to expand their holdings. There was no state to guarantee differential access to resources and individuals had

enforce their

ownership by force. As they began to expand more frequently clashed and force was more holdings used. There had been frequently burnings, betrayals, and mutilations before, but the violence of the Sturlung period was unique in its ferocity, frequency, and intensity. In 1262 when the chieftains agreed to cede their authority to the king of Norway, the Icelanders demanded that the Norwegians send trading ships to Iceland in return. To get the luxury goods they needed to be chieftains individuals had to give up being chieftains and the fundamental contradiction of stratification without a state. Unwilling to relinquish stratification, they were absorbed into a state system, thus ending a nearly 400-year-long history of a stratified society without a state. There is abundant internal evidence that the writers of the family sagas, set in a past of200 to 300 years before, appreciated legal, linguistic, and religious differences between their time and the time they wrote about (Durrenberger and Durrenberger 1987 ; Palsson 1995 : Chapters 4 and 5 ). to

their

own

claims to

these claims

more

and

The

Concepts

and Practices of

Friendship:

Sketches from the

Fieldnotes references in the sagas to the concepts of 'friendship' (vinátta, 'friend' (vinur), and 'being happy in one's friends' (vera vinfengi), is clearly a major theme, involving relations with and among both ordinary farmers and wealthy big men. Not only do references to friendship frequently There

are numerous

Friendship vinsœll).

appear in the margin of the saga accounts in a variety of contexts, some sagas revolve around the issue. Many accounts are rather formulaic, indicative of a literary

style as well as of a social reality; phrases such as 'they departed in friendship' and 'they were great friends' occur again and again with identical or near-identical wording. Also, there are several references to 'perfect friendship' (fullkomin vinátta), echoing the romantic ideal of medieval Europe. Furthermore, there are many examples of courtly love, usually involving foreign kings. Most accounts, however, seem to suggest that friendship was grounded in the tension and shifting context of Commonwealth

politics.

Often the sagas contrast relations among friends, on the one hand, and, on the other, relations among kinsfolk (frœndur) and affines (tengdir): 'Then þórir and

Björn took

friendship friendship between up

great on', Bandamanna saga

in addition to

'There

them beside

'From then

comments

affinity' (Egils saga 35:410); 3 kinship' (Bárðar saga 1:46).

about the relations of a father and

a son

was

(12:25),

'their

friendship was maintained in addition to good kinship'. While kinship and affinity, the sagas suggest, were important relationships, they did not necessarily imply a close personal bond and often they seem to have been secondary to friendship: sometimes there was clear hostility, the absence of friendship, among close relatives ('The relatives departed without any friendship' [þorgils saga skarða 388:592]). Often the knowledge of friendship, of rumours regarding who were 'said to be' friends, was no less important for the understanding of events and responses than knowledge of kinship and affinity. Some accounts indicate that friendship was a spontaneous development, as if action or deliberation was involved: the saga simply states that 'a great friendship

potential no

happened [gerðist]' (Egils saga 81:502). Far more often, however, the sagas suggest friendship was intentional, informed by self-oriented, sometimes clearly opportunistic, motives. Thus, there are frequent references to the 'crafting' or 'tying' (binda) of friendship. Friendship is frequently initiated by a particular speech-act, by 'offering' (bjóða) or 'speaking to' friendship (að mœla til vináttu), associated with gift exchange, often involving horses, silver (money), and weapons: 'There was good friendship between them and the exchanging of gifts' (Gísla saga Súrssonar 8:858). The importance of gift exchange is underlined by the native concept of'gift of friendship' (vinargjöf). Sometimes there were huge gatherings with the consumption of luxury goods: 'There was a nice feast with many people, that

(fóstbrœðralag, 'foster-brotherhood'), drinks. of shortage no over, institution highly favours, exchanging achieved dyadic usually discussed, already informal rather addition 10:1997). take him offers Geirmundur see goes 'Geitir employed: unashamedly money (kaupa) 'buying' vocabulary Sometimes friendship. mót) (í to' return 'in 'accepted' 'offered' favours Gifts 485:749). saga (Íslendinga departed gifts received Ketill case failed 'You enmity: (ljúka), 'end' or (réna), 'decrease' (haldast), 'stay' (aukast), 'increase' said Friendship theme. common stability strength relative friendship, 'old' 'young' references frequent only Not pressures. intense subject state, absence alliances shifting men, big among competition Given intensity. permanence degrees friendship, kinds different were there Iceland Commonwealth (34:409). there pórir well responds: pórir?' me between know didn't me; come dare do 'How visit: puzzled arrival, his mood 'angry' says Skalla-Grímur pórir. brother bloodSkalla-Grimur's against crime committed having Skalla-Grimur visits Björn named man Egil's In loyalties. conflicting context test put blood-brotherhood bonds formal Often 6:857). Súrssonar (Gisla us' four blood-brotherhood, swear before agreements firm bind we this, for good a think can men: several sometimes swearing, vows means secured literally ebbs characterized are friendships Some 5:1992). ended, our in power concentration increasing result As 5:1991). (Vopnfirðinga it' behind was this known Ihad if friend would 'I motive: hidden dubious, achieve created is bond a cases, some involved. groups micropolitics according falling rising successively flows, generally, Commonwealth within tension growing chieftains, major hands by prevalent become have seem friends exploiting cheating warfare, escalation during change political descriptions near-contemporary provides which compilation, Sturlunga Significantly, Commonwealth. and betrayal say to more has Commonwealth, than of misuse confrontation involving scene One 390:595). skarða saga (þorgils friendship' considerable count not should but Gissur, with friendship your maintain [..]that you advise i theme: important an is trust former, the In times. earlier on focusing sagas family thus feast guests end last years .

occasional fight striking Sighvatur friendships exchanged Bjarnason only friendship, family intricately Sagas mostly judging Clearly, keldugnúpsfifls Hallgerður. Bergþóra enmity Njáls notably exceptional; clearly example totally friendship courtship marriages, previous meeting including disputes Hallgerður marriage. against Njáll, prescient by problems, good Njáll relationship keep something Hallgerður, point being help, impunity.

shield lowered Then friendship." spoken we us "Let said: Bjarnason Árni 'Then account: following has groups armed absence relative a 238:346). (Íslendinga Kolbeinn' return Sturla sold Snorri my fear 'I friends: 'selling' even 64:79). (Sturlu blow' gave hands both axe raised that, saw Árni as But times, dozen occurs (vinkona) friend' 'female The relate few hundred several total Out women. involving references sagas archetype clever: modest, somewhat athletic, very travelled, well accomplished, handsome, Gunnar, characters, central its One sagas. wrought most longest is Njàls Gísli and Njáll The Cases: Extended Some affair. male accounts, saga 1:1144). (Gunnars þórdis' þorgrimur great There witch. 'þórdis males: different was suggest may witch, said female cases two least at In 'brothers'. males, allows only blood-brotherhood term indigenous Also, below) (see account women, absence accounts extensive some there they [53:1618]), saga (Laxdœla absent are women Accounts woman. man between context abroad, travels successful from returns After hero. have husbands her because unfortunate series had Hallgerður Hrutur. friend brother half niece Höskuldur daughter Hallgerður, beautiful blonde, tall, meets where Assembly General a goes He himself. listen, does Gunnar advises who and wise the is matters all advisor Gunnar's her. insults be took what for father foster over-sensitive her killed but about knows because terms on his end others, feuds in involved gets has that slaps one At outlawed. since and, farm, his leave to refuses Outlawed, husband. former a of death refuses. he which offer friends many His with him kill can anyone leave, not face. able caused saga been

leaps string. valiantly, help. slapped bowstring plait long big jealous scheming Njáls Assembly, meeting exchanged argued, hosting friendship, compensation, assembly, killings, reciprocal compensation. previously Njáll Njall compensation. Njáll's they pledged disappointed figure relationship family telling þorgrímur. just siblings place family þorgrimur þorgrímur marriage by night figures þorgrímur, spell þorgrímur's attack house, up attacker an arrows off them holds bow cuts defends He refuses time reminds She ithim. hair length cut Then enemies culminate events series leads This Mörður. man, influence under fall who sons, shifts escapes son-in-law remainder unfavourable consequence Much them. burners down hunts how vengeance, details reaches news slaves. one slave Gunnar's General a are men While enemies. became insults, wives visit, such visit. winter other each turns took Because allows money returns round There pays killed, year, The Gunnar. received himself settlement assess should said it, mentioned asks Gunnar themselves, killers vengeance take this At killed. sons father foster than stronger was Njáll Gunnar friendship friends. remained themselves between matters settle always would two house. tries suitor where Norway, starts saga hero. model from far is saga Gísla central wife. man either die parents Iceland. go burners, burn escape, that wife overhears return, they After þorkell, while Vésteinn, abroad travels husband, sister's their work brothers The married. get three someone but feast, for comes Vésteinn door. next in moves wealth divides þorkell Vésteinn. brother, wife's Gísli's death into sneaks then farm, brother's his at feast another there until waits rival. his got has so not, but him kill cannot Vésteinn to related þorkell because is knows spear same with þorgrímur kills and at when husband her killed Gísli out aid. no receive will he that of killer the casts sorcerer A Börkur. brother, marries sister Gísli's Vésteinn. on her tells she When it. about verse careless a had makes end. One house loves bed. used stabs

importance, evades down. hunt begins outlawed Gisli finally tricks clever years hunters valley way out settle event central attackers wife, loyal always aided defence, valiant makes He him. attack find followers Börkur's but Fjords, West up sets relationships structuring early siblings. group among mutual drink sit rather business neglecting accuses booth into comes man together assembly local at brother husband, brothers, saga. remainder dynamics when help offering bold, overly these say begin Now help. needs anyone if call men big cases them informs assembly, meeting go four predicts prescience, known man, it. reaches prophecy this word close. longer no summers, do which blood-brotherhood, swearing stronger defy suggests shake all came they When performance. ritual on thus Vésteinn; killed who was knows he Thus, then brothers. sworn him for burden itsufficient because Vésteinn, brother, wife's Gísli's himself bind refuses husband, sister's one, brother, deed, dastardly a commit will þorgrímur friendship. closeness importance illustrates episode This þorgrímur. Gísli much their ties The friend. brother's killing avenge bound Gísli, Likewise, þorkell. friend behest at Vésteinn, kill secretly inescapable. inexorable conclusion until events, other choices people occur, events As marriage. descent respect with another one relative principles all situate material genealogical abundance has Typically, brotherhood. than here stronger is Friendship themselves. brothers two between but sense strong convey advice, Njáll's against wife his marry decides Gunnar decision. choice instance, For making processes any reversing by usually friends, well enemies make could One outcome. inevitability contributes enmity an friendship strengthen or break, make, to takes person a action each Thus friends. remain long not would saga Gísla in friends man big of prediction as such curses, predictions, prophecies, are future determine down' 'laid so be can that things Among foundations. those upon events new down lay actions people's point, starting the provide history and kinship While follows. rest gets asked three other. hands oath sagas also

connection had Both killing. quickly enemy verse scurrilous enemies make could one Likewise, honour. diminishing impact same evidence Given Discussion rival. disputes, withholding all, inviting not by at arrangements seating inferior them 1913 Phillpotts (see place was system disrupted have seems Iceland Norway move Commonwealth. Icelandic world 'foreign' light anthropological throw able we he instead birth, right as position no held Ongka point. case a Guinea, New big-man Hagen Ongka, self-account alliances. ever-changing context support mutual ensuring institution, social particularly informal itseems, contexts, chieftains. by 'governed' societies stateless other relationships personal descriptions resonate accounts saga Many gifts. giving land; Norse another king often someone, about verses laudatory composing standing; equal less people subordinates feast hosting dispute; person supporting superior; usually children, fostering this doing means Some relationships. entourage underlie friendships sustain maintain, develop, careful People associations. important underlie assumed Friendship relationship. explain went involved, is when mention sagas The kinship. than rather relied which both entourage, those were relationships important Iceland, operative never was system such compensation, reckoning schemes elaborate detail law-books fact spite In through established persona! on depend occasion, underlying enmity alliance background political recite making, are they gifts enumerate themselves, big especially 'Orators, arguments: his force from followed mirrored Affinal affinity. kinship dormant secondary activating cases some in followers, men big relations 'ordinary' constituted Commonwealth, Icelandic respect with however, say, appropriate be would It (1996:154). relations' ordinary govern principles sociological contradicts sometimes that own its order an 'introduces friendship latter, remarks ).As 1996 Descola forest Amazon Jivaro friends ceremonial )and 1968 Piker Thai rural among death' 'friends the instance for parallels; ethnographic series a has also blood-brotherhood or fostbrœðralag of institution formal more The :xx). 1979 (Strathern fame' to claims their belittling stake sagas,

essentialism existence would society state parallel ethnographic suitable Perhaps payment. form through acquired (vinfengi) used terms main Indeed, manoeuvres. chaotic alliances shifting surviving necessity insecurity, fundamental situations adaptation viewed can informal, ceremonial whether Friendship, initiate relationship existing (treysta) secure daughter marry uncommon sense gangs relations vital, it too here society, Western urban users drug study a on; count someone protection, means themselves both accounts few very As 1992 Elifson Sterk-Elifson support' social offered networks "safe" themselves 'viewed people context chaotic despite suggests States United take appears Sigurðsson friendship. scholarship relative explain help focus its genre literary The story. more also there absent, totally references seen, we since, exaggeration, claim Sigurðsson's only Not (1993:215). alone' reserved was conclude it'tempting arguing value, face at bias so personalities, political emphasize 'chiefs' men' 'big men', 'great students spurred have voices indigenous Just accounts. person" "big play 'choose women cases though even males, by dominated usually leadership formal While godi. notion discourse patriarchal biased, a invited which some power, avenues other there :35), 1990 (Lepowsky scholarship, medieval Europe, Southern ethnography implicit Interestingly, (101). relationships domestic compete they because 'veiled' cognitively suppressed systematically suggests, she adults, among Relations ). (1991:92 friendship' adult denying or minimizing important, male, public, portray "conspiracy" unintentional an involved be actually 'may informants, anthropologists, that Andalusia, respect with out points Uhl world. saga restricted are friendship absence about Claims related. not therefore granted taken female Perhaps, Iceland. early culture popular reveal lines, between read one allow may sagas reading comparative Careful in Chodorow; Nancy Giiligan Carol works including development, moral gender on literature recent much essentialism to opposed diametrically male emphasizing 1991), (Cancian perspective' 'androgynous alternative, An divide. rule men while 'connect' Women women. of privilege as seen is love, and friendship bonding, intimate for capacity the case, latter open sagas, game'

Not ethnography. both gender deal needed polarization, gendered abandons using problems material. add doubt no silent, remaining simply by important out edit suppress authors Greek by influenced intellectuals Medieval describe. purport long written were particular sagas family them fact relates elicit account perhaps, example, One accounts. saga reflected somehow be likely this friendship, medieval While other. each loyal remain involved tensions all despite Njáll; Gunnar between relationship virtues Njáll occurred chronology dialogue fictionalizing Whatever Iceland. Commonwealth information ethnographic saturated also discourse, European rooted states, margins stateless, societies other characteristic as witnessed anthropologists events kinds same report they extent credibility sociological gain texts unreliable; depictions (writing practices concept away ethnographic turning another, after anthropologists generation informed affinity, embedded life ways on focusing traditions formal Thus, life. everyday nature chaotic flow seamless of, sense make in, order see anxious ethnography, their upon 'structural' such force granted for role take tendency Anthropologists issue The Commonwealth. similar otherwise chiefs, men big lineage notion length some at argued has 1970s, months four thirtyspent who ethnographer Pinson, example. striking one provides Iceland ethnography The ). 1969 does only not (1979:189); psyche' key 'the she friendship, relationships', social most 'structures suggest thesis strong Pinson's Iceland'(191). nonexistent virtually 'is on, have seems contrasts latent complexity apparent 'whether indicate may studies new shifting about consensus that suggests Rich terms. contradictory overlapping repertoire large from selected opportunistically relations kinship, references that, indicates which much Iceland; modern friendship importance evidence ample is there Indeed, discourse. anthropological kinship hegemony theoretical acceptance tacit her than ethnography realities with do terms in relationships personal about talk to continue Icelanders Modern 76—7). (1989: apparition' an or culture, and history Icelandic a anthropology, gaze systematizing the of product a are system Paine goes sagas ideals been absence less (œtt) —

ideals, as we have seen, for which there is evidence in the Icelandic sagas. It is important, however, not to take the 'evidence' at face informed by the literary conventions of the value; the rhetoric of friendship authors of the sagas and, more recently, nationalistic readings of the early texts medieval ideals of friendship

—

—

—

may bias

analysis

our

of friendship in Iceland, in both the present and the past.

Notes 1 The entire corpus of the

coordinated

family sagas and shorter stories is now available in translation (The Complete Sagas of Icelanders Including

English

49 Tales, 1997). 2 Other categories of medieval Icelandic prose include the kings' sagas, Fornaldarsögur or quasi-mythological 'Sagas of the past', and legal texts, notably Grágás

('Grey Goose') and Jónsbók. Furthermore, there are extensive poetic texts, including the Poetic Edda, and the historical work Landnámabók ('The Book of Settlements'). 3

to the family sagas are based on Íslendinga sögur otherwise stated. All translations from the Icelandic (1987), except editions cited are ours.

Chapter and page

references

og þœttir

References '

Baxter P. T. W. ( 1991 ), From

anthropological texts to popular writings ', Bulletin of the John Rylands Library 73 ( 3 ), 105 24 Bird-David N. ( 1999 ), Animism" revisited: personhood, environment, and relational epistemology ', Current Anthropology 40 ( Supplement ): 67 79 Cancian F. M. ( 1986 ), The feminization of love ,' Signs 11 (4 ), 692 709 The Complete Sagas ofIcelanders Including 49 Tales Vols. I—V, ( 1997 ), Reykjavík : ,

—

.

'"

,

—

.

'

—

.

,

,

Leifur Eiríksson

Publishing Descola P. ( 1996 ), The Spears of Twilight: Life and Death in the Amazon Jungle London : Harper Collins Durrenberger E. P. ( 1992 ), The Dynamics of Medieval Iceland: Political Economy and Literature Iowa : University of Iowa Press .

,

,

.

,

,

.

Centralization Medieval E. Fried Stanford Prehistory Economy Power: Come Chiefs How 1997 Earle 20 11 2 21 Review Translation structures style literary approach anthropological an Saga; Gunnlaug's Translating Durrenberger B. Gelsinger House Random York New Society Evolution 1981 Carolina South Columbia Economy Commerce Enterprise: Icelandic A. Gurevich Hyman Unwin Political Hierarchy Social Development Emergence State (eds), Larsen T M Bender B JGledhill transitions political analysis comparative introduction: K. Hastrup Polity Ages Middle Lepowsky hvítu á Svart Reykjavík 1987 I-III. Vols. ogpcettir sogur Islendinga Brill E.J. Leiden Renaissance Friendship Idealization Friendship: Arts (1994 R. Hyatte Oxford Change Structure Anthropological Iceland: Medieval 29 Ethnology autonomy cultural women, big men, Big 1985 Lowenthal 50 135 Foreign is 1988 Russell D. Bigelow H. T. McGovern 1923—24 published First Ltd. West Cohen London ICunnison trans. Societies Archaic in Exchange of Functions Forms Gift: (1954), M. Mauss Cambridge change ecological social view a degradation: environmental error, human islands, Northern study with connection considerations methodological Some 1992 P. Sörensen Meulengracht 70 225 16 Ecology Human Atlantic MedievalNorth (eds) W. Roseberry and J. O'Brien 42 17 Hisarlik Middlesex Early Approaches Comparative Society: to Sagas From (ed.), Pálsson 1969 R. Paine California Berkeley Histoty Anthropology Past Imagining Ages: Dark Ages, Golden L. Patterson Publishers Academic Harwood Chur Turn Linguistic and Iceland Ethnography, Savants: Life Textual (1995 G. Palsson 24 505 ',Man Culture Class" "Middlein Analysis Exploratory An Friendship: Search in Press Wisconsin :University Madison Literature of Understanding Historical The Past: the Negotiating ), 1967 1990 1991 E. sagas Country G ' ' ', ,.,,

— —

Organization B. Phillpotts Piker Races Teutonic Sociology After: Ages Middle Clan and Kindred A. Pinson 4 200 27 Human society Thai Rural Death 1968 G. Rich 97 183 18 Ethnology Continuity Social Study Iceland: Modern Economy Kinship prospects Problems Durrenberger P E kinship study Friendship V. Sigurdsson 79 53 City Iowa Iceland The Palsson Commonwealth Icelandic 1992 K. Elifson C. Sterk-Elifson 15 205 Hisarlik Middlesex Iceland Early Approaches Comparative Society: Sagas From (ed,). Pálsson Users Drug Male Homeless, On: Count Someone (ed.) A. 51 235 3 21 Anthropology Urban Relations their 1979 I—III, Vols saga Stm-lunga Martin's St. York New Strathern transl. Big-Man Guinea New a by Self-Account A Ongka: T. Todorov hvítu á Svart Reykjavik W. V. Turner Cambridge Discourse S. Uhl 74 349 Tavistock London Evans-Pritchard E.E. Essays Culture: Translation The (ed.), Beidelman O T Saga Icelandic the to Approach Anthropological An 1971 M. J. Ziolkowski 105 (190 18 Ethnologist ",American Andalusia Friendship Female Veils Cultural Friends: Forbidden ), 1991 81 59 Press :University Leuwen Antiquity Medieval (eds), Verbeka W Braet H Welkenhuysen A ',in Friendship Ancient of Adaptations and Understandings Twelfth-Century 1989 1988 1990 1995 G 1913 Genres ', , — .,,— '

5

-

-

Building Affinity through Friendship Claudia Bareellos Rezende

The modem and

ideal is of course far from universal, in scope and in intensity, suggests something about the conditions that sustain it [. .] The

friendship

this is

why friendship requires the very impersonality of administration, contractualism monetized exchange over against which it is culturally distinguished. so

.

modern and

Allan Silver,

One of the

things

that struck

me

'Friendship

and Trust

most when I returned to

as

Moral Ideals'

Brazil, after living in

England for four years, was the frequency with which the term 'friend' was used. In restaurants, people often called the waiter 'friend', as they did in the streets asking someone for information. Many of my relatives spoke of their maids, subject of conversations, as 'friends' or 'part of the family' and vice versa. Although as a Brazilian I knew these types of behaviour did not necessarily establish 'a real friendship', they seemed incredible to me after coming back from England, where I had never heard such use of the word 'friend'. Did this mean when a

common

that, in Rio de Janeiro, where I lived, something like a discourse on friendship permeated the differentiated, and often unequal, relations in the public domain? Because for the

relationship

English people I studied in London, friendship was very much a private sphere, formed between people thought of as

restricted to the

equals. Of course, all of these were general impressions experienced by a Brazilian readjusting to her home country after having been immersed in a very different

important theoretical questions. How could I figure people like myself, belonging to the urban middle who of themselves as 'Westerners'? These were people who were class, thought constantly marking off circles of intimacy, oriented by an individualist outlook, in society.

However,

they set

some

out the behaviour of Brazilian

the Dumontian sense, and yet called strangers in the streets 'friends'. Moreover, in a hierarchical relationship such as that between maids and employers, how could

people

at

times describe it

i would like to thank paper.

as a

friendship?

If these could be

Santiago Villaveces for reading and commenting

seen as

on a

personal

earlier draft of the

Claudia Barcellos Rezende in my

coming to grips again with my identity as a Brazilian, they raised to me intriguing, theoretical issue about the place of 1 in the private sphere. Were personal relations like friendship to belong friendship always to the private domain? Or was this found only in the so-called 'Western' questions a more

fundamental, and

societies? What about Brazil, where its most 'Western' social groups have a distinct view about personal relations and their presence in the public domain? Certainly, there were at least two issues here: how different societies conceptualize the division of social life into public and private spheres, and how different perceptions of friendship may locate it variously within this divide. There was a third underlying problem as well: the idea that friendship requires equality between people more difficult to secure in the public domain in order to flourish as a dyadic relationship. —

—

Various authors (e.g. Allan 1989 ; Paine 1974 ; Suttles 1970 ) have stressed the need for symmetry or roughly equal status between friends so as to distinguish it from hierarchically structured kinship relations and from the more utilitarian

patron-client

relations.

understood here

as

Underlying

this argument is the idea that inequality, means and often as well in social status,

differences in material

will

fundamentally harm a voluntary relationship built strongly on affection, loyalty, intimacy and mutual support. This idea in turn reveals two important assumptions. The first is that intimate and affective relations should be kept apart from relations guided by material interest, hence creating separate domains of relations. The second is that material interests

are

negatively valued because their pursuit produces

differences among individuals who are essentially seen as equal. The latter reveals an anguishing contradiction in 'Western' individualism: the reconciliation of actual social differences among groups of people with the idea that by 'nature' they are 2 equal. Thus, there is a genealogy of ideas behind the association of friendship

all

equality that anchors it deeply in modern 'Western' thought. it is feasible, therefore, to inquire as Silver does 'whether equality is a condition of friendship' (1989:279). He argues that in the past some forms of friendship

with

precisely on the inequality of status, so that friends could provide each other with substantively distinct resources. In the Renaissance, patrons and clients, lords and vassals, offered each other services that were not identical but equivalent in moral and practical worth. Indeed, as Silver continues, 'equality of condition might conduce to rivalry and jealousy' (281). He concludes that the concern with anti-instrumentalism is chiefly linked to a modern view of friendship as a to be valued 'for its own sake', hence excluding equality as its universal condition. His main argument, therefore, meets with a relativistic perspective common to anthropology, which 1 certainly endorse. In our comparative studies we should be careful not to extend notions of equality, of friendship and of the which have a historical and cultural development in our person particular comparative studies. were

built

relationship -

-

middleclass relationship contradictions constructed

Inarratives so, do order affinity. is, understood, broadly equality associated closely however, argue, want Friendship through Affinity Building Brazil. Janeiro, de non-white mistresses relations is The issue. distinctions where contexts affinity stress may discourses distinct show nevertheless examples ethnographic contrasting two bring equivalent not groups projects: certainly are These fieldwork. did whom resident among relation perceptions example, markedly differed also Fieldwork experienced. talking looking friends, connected practice discourse studied Whereas distinct. research focus case well London realities. certain dispute or create meanings cultural forms rhetorical is, dealt materials ethnographic Both maids. other informally talked when pronounced less which but maids, fifteen employers ten group conducting interviews feature This victims. themselves portrayed while mistresses, good again stressed Employers suffer. black discrimination identification closer there assistant Mozambican young whereas me, towards respectful first maids worked who employer, middle-class as me Identifiying position. 1different study, physical. festive extrovert, relationship kind Latin very idea their with reserve' 'English famous contrasted implicitly given England, woman Brazilian As theme main around subjects host a mapped we parties, dinner pub at conversations interviews, formal Through old. years thirty twenty-five women men English white people, seventeen network a focused year, over For friendship. thesis doctoral my for material collecting was London, In case. data, interview mostly based relationships, work views particular examine essay, relation in person thinking ways distinct ambiguities reflecting narratives, between often were There distinctions. social process the implicit became these sense, this In others. different especially others, to related themselves saw they how about assertions making and themes out weaving friendship, on narrative one than more people studies, Rio these. from result that friendship of each second —

Bridging

Worlds

The ideal mistress be

sure

through Friendship would be the

[patroaJ

that if I needed her, I would be

defect: while need them,

you're still good to wash they forget you. (Lucia)

one sure

who could be my friend, because I would that she would help me. They have this

their dishes,

everything

is fine. But later, if you

Wuh a friend, you can tease, swear at, joke but I don't have friends. I don't like friends, because there are some who give you bad advice, so I don't have friends, just ...

family. Friendship with a mistress is something else. My mistress talks to me about her daughters who always misbehave, who see their boyfriends instead of going to school, she talks to me about these things, but it's not friendship. Sometimes, a mistress opens herself and talks to her maid [empregada] about her life, but I never had this. We have conversations but it's not the same. (Margarete) When I first

prospective maid, her warmth and ease struck me me 'Claudinha'. She was prone to using the diminutive, affectionate form, as when she referred to a friend of mine, her other employer, in this manner, thus distinguishing herself from many other maids who met

Teresa,

forcefully, particularly

a

her

calling

address their that

ours

employers with the respectful dona or senhora. I was happy to think a markedly hierarchical work relationship. As I learned of spoke many former mistresses as special people, good friends who

would not be

later, Teresa had

helped her friendship, but because of

a

people. She,

in many difficult moments. Our

relationship

within certain limits. I listened to her

more

also

developed into a than I talked myself,

that she would not follow my psychoanalytical views on the other hand, discussed with me very intimate problems but

feeling on

refused when I invited her

sit down at the table and have lunch with me, at the kitchen counter. to

preferring to eat on her own My experience with Teresa reflected a form of thinking about maids and their employers in terms of friendship which I constantly heard in conversations and in the interviews my research group carried out. 3 Indeed, this reference to friendship 4 appeared as well in other Brazilian studies about maids, being generally interpreted as an illusion maids created for themselves or as a way of improving self-esteem. To me, these explanations were too simplistic and even ethnocentric, attributing too much importance to employers and passivity to maids. As interviewees told us, the friendship relation which could develop between maids and employers differed from other kinds developed between people of similar socio-economic situation. Many maids and mistresses did not become friends. Yet many of the friendship seemed to guide a hierarchical work relationship between

values of women

generally thought

What does it

mean

to

of as

be

having unsurmountable differences. highly differentiated maid-employer this hierarchical work relationship as part in

this

relationship? Brazilians have had

of their

everyday

lives since the

financially able to do

period

so, a

of

slavery.

Even

domestic servant

to

today, take

most

care

people hire,

when

of household chores.

5 regulations have increased the costs of having maids, in practice each job is susceptible to particular negotiations between employers and domestic servants, who often do not get all the rights to which they are entitled. Despite the greater formalization and regulation of the occupation in recent

Although

the present state

6 years, domestic servants remain identified as a category of persons who submit to anything. Even if domestic servants now have greater power to sue their '

negotiations of what exactly should be done at work is employer and servant. Very frequently, employers add to the list of tasks and servants either acquiesce or lose their jobs. According to the reasoning of middle- and upper-class employers, maids would submit to these are poor more than they wish to because of their socio-economic origins with few or no of often from the women, mostly non-white, years schooling, 8 where people are thought to be miserable. There is as well a more implicit view that they are in many senses inferior, at times subhuman even, that makes it acceptable for them to become servants. In fact, this is the idea underlying the widespread use of the term empregada to refer at all times to women employed as maids, as if their lives amounted to no more than their jobs. The reputed inferiority would appear, for instance, in the common complaint voiced by mistresses that house chores were not done properly. Maids forget to do certain things or else do not understand how to carry out a certain task, in spite of all the explanations they receive. On the whole, these problems are attributed to 'ignorance', explained partly by the little schooling maids have and, most employers, largely left

in

practice

to

each individual

the

—

northeast,

importantly, by a supposedly innate mental incapacity to be 'logical'. Maids would often be 'simpletons' —ignorant, superstitious, naive —hence requiring mistresses' counsel. When they are not seen as such, they are promptly described as 'very clever'. Together with 'ignorance', maids

are

which is better satisfied with food that

often described

gives

having a 'huge' appetite They would prefer to eat

as

sustenance.

(and cheaper) staple meal of rice, beans and manioc flour than to have cheese, yoghurt and seafood (all more expensive items), for instance. This is the "heavier'

the rationale for many mistresses who control what and how much their maids eat. Indeed, according to such a common view, the paragon of the good mistress (both in mistresses' and maids' views) becomes the person who allows her maid to eat

anything

she wants, and does not, therefore, 'create difference' between

them. These differences

expressed both in mistresses' and maids' accounts. Maids are very much aware of the opinions held by their mistresses. They stress the with which are taken to be 'demented' or 'mentally retarded'. frequency they when an controls what Similarly, employer they eat, they feel treated as if they were not a person but rather a dog. Their reaction is to invert the accusations and are

ridicule their mistresses.

They often characterize mistresses who are overconcerned

with tidiness and cleanliness 'demoralized' when

as

shout

'neurotic' and 'sick'. Mistresses their maids

can

also be

fire them and later regret their mistresses who, despite their years of

they 'Ignorance' is also attributed to schooling and degrees, lose all 'good manners' when dealing with their maids, not treating them as human beings. Finally, mistresses are frequently said to behave as 'madams', superior because of their social and economic conditions; but the term is always employed by maids to ridicule them. Maids point out that, although these women may feel superior to others, they can in fact be very insecure. These kinds of mistresses may even feel threatened by their maids, fearing that the maids 9 might be sexually attractive to their husbands. at

behaviour.

or

All these attributes which characterize maids and

mistresses as

different kinds

of women become essentialized, or actually embodied, through the notion of colour. Colour includes more than just phenotypical characteristics of the person, such as

skin colour, type of hair and facial features (particularly nose and lips). It most importantly, to the relationship between the speaker and the person

refers,

addressed. 10 Thus, mistresses often stress that among the requirements of a good maid is 'good appearance'. By appearance, they mean explicitly a well-groomed woman

(from

neat hair and clean clothes to clean nails and

implicitly

a

non-black

who work

as

maids are

This is not

good teeth)

and

strict rule, since the majority of women non-white. Statistical reasons aside, mistresses find one.

a

compensations clean', they having by saying black maids

for

that

are

'black but very

'black but very pretty', 'black but very clever'. Cleanliness here refers not only to care of the body but also to moral correctness that includes sexual behaviour, trustworthiness (e.g. not stealing anything from employers) and religious beliefs well. 11 Thus, the blackness of maids synthesizes many of those characteristics typically attributed to maids, particularly an 'ignorance' that would be perceived

as

as

innate and

requiring improvement through behaviour.

Maids,

the other hand, subvert this dominant discourse

on

on

colour by

depreciating they the attributes associated with whiteness. When

they dislike, they point out that they are

'white and

ugly', 'white and thin', ugliness and thinness disrespect and exploitation with

and mean'. Whiteness here becomes linked both

physical

and moral,

alluding

to the

talk about mistresses

to an

'white that is which

mistresses often treat their maids. However, unlike mistresses' constant references to the colour of their maids, maids only singled out the whiteness of mistresses

they had problems with.

words, whereas the former always remarked on they saw as essentially distinguishing themselves from maids, the latter did not emphasize such embodied differences in unproblematic relations with mistresses. They remained different in their social and economic 'conditions', conditions which, unlike essentialized ones, could be changed. Thus, on the one hand, there were constant negotiations and accusations between a

feature that

In other

maids and mistresses which stressed their differences, of reaffirming the social distinctions between them.

revealing an ongoing process Following Bourdieu (1984) ,

differences in the conditions of existence of maids and mistresses became embodied

particular habitus as well as reflected in specific tastes, which further operated classify the various life styles. These distinction markers seemed particularly brought into play at a time when the great social cleavages that were once so readily naturalized in slavery became, in the last twenty years, the focus of major campaigns for equal rights to citizenship. Indeed, with all the recent changes in the labour legislation concerning domestic servants, the differences that separated maids and mistresses were no longer to be taken for granted. On the other hand, however, there was a shared value placed on friendship for both maids and mistresses. Friendship for them meant the affection, care and consideration given to each other. For maids, consideration involved material aid (e.g. paying for medicine and children's schooling, helping to build one's house) in

to

as

well

as

conversation in times of crisis. For mistresses, consideration invoked

loyalty and trustworthiness, since maids worked in their homes and looked after their children, sharing their intimate lives. Being trustworthy meant not only that maids did

not steal (one of the greatest preoccupations for mistresses) but that they respected, and did not gossip about, the family lives of their employers,

therefore

keeping to their place in the household. Both maids and mistresses recognized the peculiar quality of this friendship, often only idealized, and distinguished it from the relations with friends of a similar socio-economic situation. These constant references to friendship, present in other studies on maids and mistresses in Brazil, have been interpreted as a reminiscent trace of an earlier, more paternalist pattern of relationship between mistresses and maids. Others, such as da Matta (1991) and Hollanda (1982) have discussed the Brazilian cultural tendency, whether in the past or in the present, to personalize work relations and the public sphere in general. 12 This impetus to personalize would compensate for and complement an extremely hierarchical social structure. If employers are opposed to servants on one level, they may be brought together on another level, that of moral correctness, for example. Thus, there is a complex articulation of contexts and relations which separate and, hence, accentuate hierarchical ,

differences integration

with those which promote and mixture. The perception of a strongly hierarchical society produces in various groups such as middle-class segments in Rio de Janeiro, 13 including the employers studied

-

here

-

more or

less two

social differences. The considered

ability

a

major narratives

friendship that deal distinctively with first one permeates all spheres and speaks of what has been on

basic trait of the Brazilian national character ( Hollanda 1982 ): the relationships and mingle with people of different ages, classes,

to establish

religions. This is the idea which underlies the propagated, but now much questioned, discourse on national identity that takes Brazilian society to be a 'racial races

and

homogeneous socially tends family-like small, very friends restrict intimacy values Here, level creates however, second The positions. or equal between relationships variety exist (friendship) amizade Therefore, ). 1986 Pacheco (see humanity their people: unite differences greater something has there narrative, inclusive all broad, harmony. in living colours democracy', proof for enough amtade sentiment The rights. with persons wishes, servants mere inferiors treat can superiors ahead, order another one harm try Equals disloyal. competitive may because trusted circle narrow this outside moreover, implies, narrative exclusive This so. necessarily only (not world stranger a who maid, the ensure mistresses, For relationship. conflictive potentially trust build to sought also They differences. than more weigh wished sense, broad friendship. on narratives views combined employers Maids friends). (real mesmo amigos are show necessary is Here, other. each support people crisis of times others, more new quite go sometimes, frustrating find everything. way her English, much very she's halflndian, is who girl one for except are They with. working lately, thinking been I've English cliches the with coming without English] [the about talk hard Friendship with Pressure Counteracting beings. human condition all, above and, identity gender common positions: social different despite together, them bring could what invoked cases, both In servant. domestic a hence, poor being their because animals, like mistreated and abused they that mean would friendship maids, For trustworthy. loyal reliable, but menacing be not will from, comes she well) terms biological in shown, have as often, but sense socio-cultural me, got before said people that. than better describe 1can reservedness. kind it's out. itcomes slowly because funny It's effort? an as it regard maybe effort any actually Am effort. this all putting 'Argh!', think sometimes response minimal such you something or together friendship conversation make try them towards few have and know to until skeptical get back hold and consider what pushy bit a I'm Maybe myself unconfident so feel 'cause Ireally that me part some that's criticized, being of frightened were they if why, understand don't . .—

friendships, find and quickly too break people want don't pose, your keep have you of kind out come does that something is everybody snot it course, Of up loosen things where situations few them, with jokes get itharder makes Work situation. work you're if Depends you. about much interview, time At wary. they're because people, woman, Brazilian talking herself'half-French' Being months. couple organization assistant but extrovert an at 'wary' particularly people, reserved English' 'the apart stand us me told six job, relations establish tried picnic Still, up. whom manager her Martin, invited birthday, mid In a establishing process 1991, in met first When all. friendship these categorize preferred some Indeed, careers. people's changes frequent given well, short-lived be tended They latter. characterized disclosure intimacy lacked close considered not relationships These work. others {he most colleagues, her closer come attempting forth back wavered she Whereas workplace. friendships subject up brought constantly Istudied English perhaps Anne position. Anne's threatened work argument serious later months few had time, that at another towards friendly very Although relationship. conflictive held basis full-time employed career. launching before degree different trying twenties, teaching (e.g. jobs part-time variety living their complemented musicians artists also There workers. secretaries, administrative agencies, public small organizations voluntary managers as sector: all degrees, post-graduate for studying were who Those nurseries). children after looking students, foreign recession economic context In them. satisfied which found they until periods short through went people many support, to child or spouse With jobs. periodic grants with themselves supported humanities, sciences belief individualistic modern reaffirm to seemed dislikes likes personal because job a leaving benefits, unemployment on cuts government about tendency recent and wider a into fitted behaviour this yet, And 'constraints'. social his/her from person of autonomy al. et (Savage market labour British one within achieved longer no was sector service growing the occupations middle-class in progress Career been made late debates 1988 through ). . ... . — -

company but mostly by holding a succession of jobs, each one for a years, often in different cities of the country. This pattern characterized

couple of a specific

part of the service sector the managerial class closely associated with people and distinct from the clerical positions, increasingly occupied —

—

middleclassby people ascending

from the

working-class

since the post

war

years (Abercrombie

14

etal. 1988). Despite the

variety of job situations at the time, everyone had experience, previous or actual, of working in a spatial setting with a formalized role structure. Thus, in one sense, work became strongly, and negatively, associated with the formality and hierarchy of workplaces. At the workplace, people were expected to behave efficiently, politely and with self-control, fulfilling their specific role. This expected pattern of behaviour conflicted with the value placed on 'being oneself' being spontaneous, emotional, uncontrolled, another reflection of the underlying view on the autonomous person. The belief in autonomy was further questioned by the obligatory aspect of work —people needed their salaries to live. As I have pointed out, some more or less defied this injunction by going through short periods of unemployment. Moreover, despite their dependency on wages (or unemployment benefits), they were eager to stress that they cared little for money. Indeed, most people earned relatively low salaries (around £500 per month in 1991) and explicitly devalued the money element in their sociable activities whether

-

with friends.

significant, and this time positive, meaning which was personal fulfillment. Everyone thought of their work careers as an

But work had another

related

to

personal growth and satisfaction. University education was significant step towards finding out what one wanted as a career and most people had obtained an undergraduate degree. Their choices revolved around important

element in

seen as a

a vocation, usually in the arts, or personal beliefs, such the welfare of people in general and to the underprivileged in

following to

was

as

contributing

particular. This unsatisfactory jobs provide skills as aromatherapists or masseuses, often being unemployed in the

the rationale for those who left

in order

to

themselves with

process. The ambivalence towards work work. Like Anne, most

was

reflected

in

people's relations to colleagues some sort of friendship with

tried to establish

people they worked with. Drinking at the pub after work hours was thus very much valued because the consumption of alcohol was seen as producing greater allowing people to reveal themselves outside of their specific roles at work. 'Having a laugh' at the pub added further to the contrast with the serious and controlled ethos of the workplace. More importantly, through the practice of buying rounds of drinks for others in the pub, 15 people devalued the extreme concern with balanced reciprocity, more akin to the work ethos, and favoured a generalized type of reciprocity ( Sahlins 1972 ) which was typical of friendship relations. Inviting at

those

spontaneity,

people

from work to have dinner at home

with her manager

Martin,

was

also

or

party, as Anne did another step in the

to come to a picnic

common

and

represented

process of establishing friendship relations at work. However, if there were actual and frequent attempts to become friends with some people from work, on the discursive level, getting close to colleagues was

involving 'a lot of effort'. In Anne's view, it was very difficult to form friendships at work because people were 'wary' and tried to 'keep their pose'. People were concerned about being criticized by a colleague or a superior, because, at work, self-control should prevail and anything of the contrary could affect one's productivity. Here, self-control was significant not only because of the need to be efficient but also because of the hierarchical structure of workplaces. 'Keeping pose' thus meant a certain 'wariness' about colleagues' intentions in a context where competition and surveillance were always, even if in different degrees, as

seen

present. If appropriate Indeed, it

was

themselves'. and sincere

at

work, in friendship relations self-control

was

not an asset.

the very opposite which people strove to attain with friends: 'being oneself' with friends involved communicating in an honest

'Being

being spontaneous above all. It referred to the revelation to depression as well as of information considered personal. It involved as well bodily intimacy touching, talking about bodies and performing bodily functions in the presence of friends. 'Being oneself' of all

state

manner

of minds

and —

from excitement

—

—

with friends required time disclosure.

to

establish trust in the mutual acceptance of personal

However, this definition of friendship was

hard

self

as

was

often

seen as an

ideal set

high which

attain. This unreserved exposure, which revealed the 'true' side of the opposed to the more 'polite' sides, could potentially clash with people's to

16 space —both in the physical and emotional sense. Despite the strong belief that friends should support each other at all times, there was always the concern that, in being 'true' to oneself, people could 'impose' unwanted

much valued

personal

feelings on to others (and vice versa, of course). Thus, being polite was both wanted and unwanted because of its controlled behaviour, which respected other people's personal space. By the same token, being oneself was both desired and feared because of its uncontrolled behaviour that could lack consideration for other people. Politeness and the correlated

preoccupation

with the

preservation of persona! middle class. Working-class

values associated with the space regarded people were represented as being more honest and spontaneous than middle-class people. They were also less able to manage face-work in contexts such as cocktail parties which required, in the middle-class view, the art of politeness. Similarly, working-class people were thought to have less confidence in themselves, a quality which was part of the middle-class upbringing, in Celia's view: were

as

I think that middle class people have been brought up to think that they can have anything they want, if they wanted anything, they would have the means either through education or through contacts or whatever that would enable them to get it. You have a right to do anything in the world, you have a freedom of choice, whereas, I think, working class people are not brought up to have the same expectations, they are not told 'you can do any job you want, you can live in any country of the world'. .

family and, at the time of fieldwork, had a difficult relationship with her boyfriend, who had a working-class background but interacted mostly in middle-class circles. A very outspoken woman, she held ambivalent ideas about the importance of managing the art of politeness and appearing confident. To her, her boyfriend 'lacked the skills' to be polite and confident in parties, for instance, whereas she had the choice of acting so or not. At the same time, however, middle-class people found it difficult to sustain such confidence or to present themselves as confident people in all situations. Celia and Anne were just a few who talked about their 'confidence problem'. In the end, confidence often became an injunction to conceal insecurities and fears which Celia,

an

artist,

came

from

.

a

middle-class

could characterize the 'true' self. The ambivalence towards

politeness

and confidence

was

thus reflected

m

the

ambiguous feelings people had towards values associated with the middle and working classes. After the postwar changes in the general standard of life of the British working class, the material distinctions which separated them from the middle class decreased in importance, leaving it to far more subtle criteria such as taste, 'socializing skills', and the ideas about personal space that politeness entailed. Most of the people studied, who came from middle-class families, were very critical about what they saw as the overwhelming influence of class background on people's behaviour. '7 On the other hand, they were all concerned with the preservation of personal space, hence with politeness, a particular class value and a form of distinction from working-class people. Likewise, the few who came from workingclass families disliked many of these middle-class values but now interacted mostly in middle-class circles. However, most of their closest friends had and

background

life-history

as

people

a

similar class

who had distanced themselves from the

class situation of their families.

Indeed, despite their belief in individual freedom of choice, the impact of class background in people's lives was much stronger than they would like to admit. The

concern

with

personal which guided

18

space, acquired through upbringing, was a all behaviour, including that among close friends. It

fundamental value

a similar notion of personal space, particularly in the process of creating personal disclosure. In turn, this entailed that friends had a similar upbringing. In fact, in spite of the diversity of people in

was

crucial that friends shared

important

London, all close friends had same

home

town

a

common

class

background,

and with friendships dating back

to

often

coming from the

school years.

exercising believed strongly itself hierarchically, structured roles functions set involved diversity environment. diverse dealing way a It productivity. efficiency stressed that ethos an requirement just self-control issue themselves. by out pointed ones than reasons difficult became at ties establishing light, differences reflect functional hierarchy individuals. all equality basic education level friendship Therefore, meant. what notions well having positions, different located be might where context distinction, standards particular therefore preservation towards measure reserved sense, this employees. background hence colleagues, some relations form strove most Although effort. great developed only workplace heightened probably difficulty experience perception This outcome. its doubts expressed all hours, after sociability pub placed value private one life, arenas distinct pertaining as constructed behaviour, patterns expected sets As themselves'. 'be whom contexts among distinction than group part being concerned years, university school In through. going were phase career initial presentations controlled required both hierarchy, heterogeneity social referred latter The public. more Whether Abu-Lughod Lutz effect certain contexts, specific deployed discourses, like importantly, ).More 1990 (Kondo dispute negotiation under are but guide ideals values assert express they but friends, relations from differ may Narratives Affinity? or Equality work. with associated behaviour practices, sociability through counteract, sought actively Friends ethos. work opposition defined only Friendship spaces. their understanding common hence, and, upbringing similar had who people happen could which disclosure spontaneous opposite: very entailed hand, other on Friendship, self. side true) so not (but confident polite favour concealed was self 'true' space, personal one's protecting for productivity above, given examples ethnographic two light equality, and friendship relation the to return can we Thus, in also itpresent or mostly feature discursive a is it if all, of first between relationship actual class ask, self. sake

friends. If a narrative element

only,

in

which social contexts is

it

emphasized? To

what effect? In the Brazilian

Friendship

study,

I dealt with

a

work

relationship

first and foremost.

did at times develop between maids and mistresses but was most often friendship referred to the affection, care

element of their narratives. As such,

an

and consideration that both sets of

valued in their work

relationship. It always appeared in the discussion of ideal or past relations, thus contrasting with more frequent experiences of dishonesty and mistreatment. The value placed on friendship did not obscure or reverse the perception of each other as very different

women.

women

The hierarchical distinctions between them—both the functional difference

and the diverse socio-economic situations but

when

—

were

mutual

not

questioned

of their

in themselves, 19

they hampered recognition humanity. In other words, if friendship referred in any way to equality, it was their equality as women and human beings, who could be different in colour, education, wealth or taste, that was being emphasized. For the English people studied, such differences created greater difficulties for friendship. Because friendship was basically understood as a relationship in which people could 'be themselves', the process of personal disclosure required common only

a

notions of when and with whom

to

common

reveal the 'true' self, notions which

were

in

acquired through upbringing. Thus, the relative social diversity found in the workplace, together with its hierarchical structure and ethos of self-control, stood

turn

in

opposition

to both discourse and actual relations of friendship. Even when there

attempts to develop friendship relations with some colleagues, it was important leave behind behaviour associated with work in favour of the sociability and

were to

personal disclosure much valued in friendship. In each situation,

friendship

as a

narrative element achieved different effects.

For the Brazilian maids and mistresses studied, friendship was believed to be a mechanism with which to establish trust among different others. Whether it was created in

practice, the frequent mention of friendship pointed at a wish to connect belonged to distinct and hierarchical social places and whose social differences seemed embodied. For the English men and women analysed here, friendship separated different others by establishing trust among similar people. Although in practice there were attempts to come close to these different others, as in the workplace, friendship was continuously reaffirmed as a relationship of the private domain, where fundamental notions about the person were shared basically among people with a common class background. On the other hand, both examples reveal that friendship as a relationship stresses affinities, be it of a particular kind having a similar upbringing or of a general sort —being human beings. In this sense, friendship contrasts with gender relations, which build on and give form to difference ( Strathern 1988 ). Whether it appears in actual relations or in narratives, friendship is played against that which is seen

people

who

—

-

potentially separate. Indeed, in the two cases analysed here, friendship elicited more or less explicit views on class differences

differentiate and

to

narratives

on

and the ways in which social distinctions were created or reaffirmed, with a strong tendency in both examples to see them as essentialized and embodied. This emphasis on

affinity does

that

stress

and

not

falls

not

imply that there are no differences between

friends but, rather,

those aspects which make friends similar. Such value may characterize a whole set of relations with respect to others, clearly separating, for example, friends from workplace colleagues, or throw into relief certain aspects, on

others, of a relationship, for example the affectionate

treatment between

hierarchical

positions. referring to equality, which is closely linked to a modern 'Western' conception of the person as having identical rights, friendship should be seen as an idiom of affinity and togetherness. Phrased in this manner, we allow for different understandings of affinity and how it may be sought in relationships. It may be possible then to find references to, and experiences of, friendship in various social domains, thus breaking away from its close association in the modem 'West' to the private sphere. Indeed, if one of the pillars of the public-private divide rests on the separation of impersonal and contractual relations from those based on intimacy and trust, the presence of friendship in work relations, such as in the Brazilian example analysed here (see also da Matta 1991 ; Hollanda 1982 ), this particular conception of 'public' and 'private' If friendship is taken as an idiom of affinity, we can make room for other conceptions of the person different from the notion of the individual as an agent, equal by nature. It becomes possible, for example, to see how friendship promotes affinity it social groups strongly marked by hierarchy. In such groups, people are seen as naturally differentiated, occupying distinct spaces in the social world. Friendship between them does not demonstrate the autonomy of the person in the face of social barriers. On the contrary, these distinguishing Thus, rather than

questions

autonomous

social conditions actual relations

or

constantly reaffirmed. What friendship invokes, whether in through discourse, is the affinity that brings these people together

are

parts of the same social world. It may not achieve its ideal but it demonstrates the value placed on being related. as

Notes 1

See Kondo (1990) for a brilliant discussion experience from theory.

2 One of the

against

the division of

personal

attempts to solve this paradox has been the attribution of such social

differences to innate (e.g. racial) distinctions among individuals, which

nevertheless does detract from their humanity ( Dumont 1980 Stolcke not

common

;

1991). 3 This research

was

earned out with

two

assistants, Denise Namburetto and Paulo

Martinho, between 1994 and 1996 and agency

was

supported

the Brazilian

funding

CNPq.

4

See, for instance, Motta (1986) Oliveira (1995) and Saffioti (1978).

5

Long after slavery was abolished, domestic service was still largely unregulated by the state and so cheap that employers often paid their servants in kind with food, shelter and clothes. It was only in the 1980s that domestic servants gained the right to form unions as well as to receive at least the minimum wage, with paid vacation and a contribution towards retirement. In the last few years, these rights have increased so that domestic service is no longer as cheap and informal as it used to be. Together with greater official regulation, domestic service has been changing in character. Nowadays, the live-in servant is increasingly substituted by a daily maid, who no longer sleeps at work but divides her working days among different employers. Domestic servants explain this change by reference to the fact that they now prefer, and can afford, to have their own homes to go back to at the end of the day. Employers, on the other hand, say that live-in maids are now more expensive and, furthermore, that with the greater

,

—

6

availability of microwave

dishwashing machines and

frozen

foods, they really

weekly help with house cleaning. Some also add their wish to maintain their privacy by not having a stranger living in their homes. The term in its diminutive form, empregadinha(o), is often a negative reference people allude to when they want to affirm that they cannot be told to do things which are not demanded by their jobs or by a specific relationship. need

7

ovens,

only

a

8 Since the decline in the sugar

cane economy in the 1950s, together with the of mechanization greater agriculture in the north-east of Brazil, peasants and rural workers have been migrating to the southern cities of Sao Paulo and Rio

de Janeiro in search of jobs. Because of the greater poverty of the north-eastern rural economy, as well as of drought problems that periodically afflict the area, these migrants are seen as miserable and ignorant people, a representation that is offensive to many of them. 9 Gilberto Freyre (1977) has, through his classic discussion of the frequent sexual relations between white masters and their black female slaves, glorified not

only

racial

miscegenation

mixed woman). 10 This pragmatic

use

but the sensual

figure

of the mulata (the

of colour attributes, which is far race as one's ancestral

essentialized reference to

appearance), has posed huge problems

racially than

an

origins (regardless

of

more

common

to black movements in Brazil. It has

often been characterized who have close

as a

relationships

form of alienating racial discrimination. avoid

characterizing

each other

by

People

the diehoto-

black and white, preferring one of the over one hundred in the colour gradient for a mixed person. Preto (black) carries the

mous

terms

depreciatory on

sense

and is

employed

to mark social distance. Branca

the other hand, becomes the valued end of the colour gradient,

often strive to

classify themselves in lighter tones.

used variously in different situations and, with distinct meanings as well.

as

in the

11 In the last twenty years, many middle class

These colour

case

terms most

(white),

that people

so

categories are

of maids and mistresses,

people began

to

seek these Afro-

Brazilian cults, which in the earlier decades of the century were the object of persecution by the police. Still, they retain something of an image of superstition and evil doing. A more recent religious phenomenon! is the rapid growth of evangelical movements, which are also more popular among the lower classes. Pentecostalist religions are more respected by mistresses but at times maids are qualified as extremists. Indeed, among unionized maids, highly conscious of the rights they are entitled to by law, the ideal mistress is the one who is both a law-abiding employer

evangelical

12

and 13 I

friend ( Oliveira 1995). currently doing fieldwork with

a

am

Janeiro

group of middle-class

a

people

in Rio de

the subject of friendship and social hierarchy. 14 Abercrombie et al (1988) refer to this change in the occupational structure the 15

on

of the middle class, which

growth occupations. The physical layout

of the

pub

—

a

means

main

here white collar and

counter

as

managerial

with few tables and stools

around it, plus the fact that no waiters serve the tables influences but does not determine this particular form of buying drinks. Whenever my Brazilian —

friends

were

at

the

pub,

each

one

paid

for their

own

drinks.

16 This is the idea of a 'wild within'which Corbey (1991) sees in Freud's theories. The stereotypical wild other impulsive and lacking in self-control became —

—

internalized in Freud's theories and demanded 17 The much used

expression

'class

steering

and

itself points

regulating. representation

background' background understood both as parents' economic situation and the upbringing they gave their children instead of one's present situation. Indeed, despite strong beliefs in the autonomous person, there were doubts about the actual social mobility of people with workingclass backgrounds into the middle class. As Finch (1989) and my own study (1993) show, the concern with personal space is particularly acute in the relations of parents with their grown children. Even in the case of elderly parents who might need more support from their children, much care is taken not to 'impose' on them. of class which favours one's

at a

—

-

18

19 Most of the

women

who worked

as

maids would have

became 'rich'. But they all stressed that part of the family.

they

one

themselves if they

would treat them

equal,

as

as

References Abercrombie Nicholas Warde Alan Soothill Keith Urry John and ( 1988 ), Contemporary British Society Cambridge : Polity Press ,

,

,

,

,

Walby Sylvia

,

,

,

.

,

Allan Graham ( 1989 ), Friendship: Developing a and San Francisco : Westview Press ,

Sociological Perspective

,

Boulder

.

Bourdieu Pierre ( 1984 ), Distinction: a Social London : Routledge and Kegan Paul ,

Critique of the Judgement of Taste

,

.

'

Corbey Raymond ( 1991 ), Freud's Phylogenetic Narrative ', in Raymond Corbey and Joep Leersen (eds), Mterity, Identity, Image: Selves and Others in Society ,

and

Scholarship

,

Amsterdam :

Rodopi

.

da Matta Roberto ( 1991 ), Carnivals, Rogues and Heroes: An Interpretation the Brazilian Dilemma Notre Dame : University of Notre Dame ,

Dumont , Louis

( 1980 ), Homo Hierarchicus Chicago : Chicago University Press Obligations and Social Change Cambridge : Polity .

,

Finch Janet ( 1989 ), Family ,

Press

of

.

,

,

.

Freyre Giiberto ( 1977 ), Casa Grande & Senzala Rio de Janeiro : Nova Aguilar Hollanda Sergio Buarque de ( 1982 ), Raizes do Brasil 15th edition, Rio de Janeiro : ,

.

,

,

,

Livraria Jose Olympio Editora Kondo Dorinne ( 1990 ), Crafting Selves: Power.; Gender and Discourses of Identity in a Japanese Workplace Chicago : Chicago University Press .

,

.

,

Lutz Catherine and ,

and the

politics

'

Abu-Lughod Lila ( 1990 ), Introduction: emotion, discourse, of everyday life ', in Lutz and Abu-Lughod (eds), Language ,

and the Politics

,

of Emotion Cambridge : Cambridge University Press ( 1986 ), A Rela^ao Impossivel ', in Semindrios Relagdes de Trabalho e Relagdes de Poder (annals) Fortaleza : UFCE/Mestrado de Sociologia Oliveira Edir Figueiredo de Oliveira ( 1995 ), Elas Vieram para Ficar: am estudo de caso do sindicato dos trabalhadores domesticos do municipio do Rio de Motta , Alda Britto da

.

,

'

.

,

Janeiro master's dissertation, PPGS/IFCS/ Universidade Federal do Rio de Janeiro ,

.

Pacheco Moema de Poli Teixeira ( 1986 ), Familia e Identidade Racial: os limites da cor nas relagdes e representagoes de um grupo de baixa renda master's ,

,

dissertation Rio de Janeiro :

Programa

,

Social/Museu Nacional L. FRJ

.

de

P6s-Gradua?ao

em

Antropologia

1974 Robert Paine Allan Silver 76 455 3 12 Research Regional Urban Journal International Britain Class" "Service Fragmentation Contemporary Implications Political Tony Fielding Peter Dickens Mike Savage Routledge York London Economics Age Stone 1972 Marshall Sahlins Vozes Petropolis Capitalismo e Domestico Emprego 1978 LB Heleieth Saffioti doctoral-disseration 1991-1992 London, Residents Men English Young Some among 1993 Barcellos Claudia Rezende Memorial Newfoundland Friendship Dimensions Selected Compact: Leyton Elliott Culture "Middle-Class" Analysis Exploratory An 1992 Press California University Angeles Los Berkeley Melanesia and Women with Problems Gift: the of Gender The 1988 Marilyn Strathern 19 101 20 Afro-Asidticos Estudos ?', Etnicidade para Ra?a como assim Genero estapara Sexo 1991 Verena Stolcke 97 274 ): 2 XXX Sociologie, de Europeenes Archives Approach Historical an Ideals: Moral Trust Friendship Company Publishing Aldine Chicago Social (eds). a\\ et McCall George Institution Social as Friendship ), (1970 D. Gerald Suttles :Routledge York New London Society Conceptualizing (ed.), Kuper ',Adam World Post-plural a in Relationships Refiguring Wholes: and Parts 1989 — — — ,.,'' '

-6-

The 'Bones' of Friendship: Playing Dominoes with Arthur of Evening in the Eagle Pub

an

Nigel Rapport

Arthur

[standing

at the

bar. finds Robbie sauntering up for

mate! Game of bones, Robbie? Fancy thinking of having a draw. Robbie:

a

a

refill]: Now,

here's my

draw-in? June and I, and Doris,

were

Aye, Arthur. Don't mind if I do, don't mind if I do. 'bones'please, Maggie! [Maggie hands Arthur one ofthe boxes of dominoes kept behind the bar]. Nigel, Sid? What about you? Up for a game? [Arthur turns around to face Sid and me, leaning on the bar on the other side of him. He raises his eyebrows quizzically, to which Sid nods and I grin, before walking with Robbie over to the dominoes table in the corner. June is already seated there, chatting to Doris, and Walter is perched on the end wall-seat ]. God, I'm in the dominoes' place! [Walter looks about him in pretended shock as Arthur. Robbie, Sid and Nigel descend on him, and he realizes that June and Doris are obviously seated there by prior assignation.]

Arthur: The

Walter:

Aye! So why

Sid:

don't you

bugger off

out

of it, Walter Brownlea? This is the

domino table, not the darts table. Go and sit somewhere else! Arthur:

Draw-in if you like, Walter? Aye! Do you want to draw-in, Walter? You'll have to get there are about six of us already.

Charles

[walking

June:

over

from the back room]: Can I draw-in for

there's enough of you already. Never mind: carry of darts lined up anyway.

on

a

a

partner, mind,

game? Oh,

without

me.

looks like

I had

Arthur: Why don't you draw-in with Walter, Charles, and that makes eight? Walter: No. Thanks, but I think I'll go over to darts You've some courage, with dominoes these sharks! I admire playing you [he grins], .

.

a

game

Nigel,

Yeah: 'Bite

Sid: Doris:

I am

.

cos

y'legs off'! Nay, be off with you, Brownlea! Sorry, I'm facing the wrong way now we're starting. I like to watch everything that's happening. Like who's chatting to who; who's twined! [Doris laughs and pushes her way round the table.]

grateful

to

Sandra Bell and Simon Coleman for their careful commentary

on

this piece.

Nigel Rapport (informally designated thus, but known by all the regulars) is large rectangular table with a slight lip, situated adjacent to the main door in the Eagle pub. On the benches and wall-seat circling it, ten people can be

The 'domino table' a

of the accommodated with and the table commands fine view of of the ease,

pub.

More often than

not

rest

of an

evening, Arthur and June, old friends of late middle chatting, whether before, during or after a themselves and with others who have played with by

be found seated at the table

age, game of dominoes, both them or watched their game. can

most

a

English village of Wanet represents a way for Arthur pub for an evening with a schedule, as it were, which punctuates whatever else (chatting, drinking) they may be doing, while also giving them a home base in the place as the evening passes and they move in and out of interaction with others. Dominoes, indeed, provides something of a for sociality of a particular sort: for relations of amity and intimacy between those who are not affines or kin, neighbours or even local acquaintances. 2 Playing dominoes may be seen to give on to relations of friendship which negate and transcend the latter certain categories. Just as Burridge (1957 :188) describes Tangu friendship as that which ranges far outside the boundaries of 'home' (among those of different languages and social organization), so domino-partners range beyond the workaday world amid a friendship which refuses categorization (cf. Rezende, in this volume, pp.79--97). Playing

dominoes

1

in

the

and June and others to be in the

foundation

Thus it

was

that dominoes

provided me with a route into relations in the Eagle, broadly, when I first arrived in the place as a stranger.

and in Wanet village more Moreover, being socialized onto the domino table afforded me on

a

broad perspective

the routine beyond: Alf: You gotta play more for your partner, Nigel. Help him, be less self-centred in the dominoes you play. Like always get rid of double six, or five, or four at the start, play them bare, even if you haven't got more in that set. Cos that's what your

partner will be expecting. That's how dominoes is played in Wanet. Or again: Arthur: I 'll

play

Not like

and let anyone jom in the draw. doms with anyone won't 1 June? some people who'll just play with old friends and refuse to play with -

-

anyone new. No: I'll play with anyone except on Sunday nights when a friend of mine comes down from Leyton, and it's widely known that on that night we -

play together on the little table over there! always have done, and now it's just for

...

we

June? Yes: tradition.

I don't know

why

we

do it, but

old times' sake. It's tradition, eh

Playing Dominoes with Arthur

perhaps, is Simmel's commentary on the ambiguous 'degrees of reciprocal revelation and concealment' by which 3 are often characterized relations (1950:236). For, facing Arthur, say, across friendly Particularly

resonant,

of invasion and

reserve

...

sought to extend the line of dominoes between us, uncertain of his intentions as to his hand, needing his calculated input for the relationship to develop. Moreover, as complex patterns of dominoes were built up only to be broken at game's end, so there was a sense the domino table, I seemed to be

building

a

friendship

as

I

intimacy between us was contingent upon its physical expression sundered (certainly in degree) once 'the bones' had been returned to their

in which the and

was

box and the table vacated.

ambiguous foundation of sociality that dominoes provides (the foundation of ambiguous sociality), is so taken for granted by regular players and spectators in Wanet as to go largely unspoken. More normally, dominoes is an unremarked activity which accompanies talk of other matters. What I intend in this chapter, however, is to disinter that foundation, to make plain the language of dominoes, to describe the world of friendship it gives on to bounded, smallscale, tranquil, unpredictable, well-mannered, cordial as well as the perspective on the worlds around it which it secures the opportunity to comment on and Needless

to say,

the

—

—

—

subtly rewrite what (and who) lies outside. For Arthur and co., the game of dominoes ushers in a milieu, a space, with an ethos of its own, safe from the flux, noise and entropy of other worlds, without direct consequence upon those worlds and yet with a view on them. Moreover, while often unremarked, Arthur and others not necessarily refrain from giving a commentary on their feelings and thoughts towards the game, towards the transcendent perspective it provided, towards its friendly effects:

did

Arthur: I like 'doms', Charles, because you time.

can

sit and talk and be sociable at the

same

Or again: Arthur: When

was that night we were playing here? with Charles and all? That was a night! I really enjoyed myself. More than ever. Just a quiet night and no one in the pub You know, Nigel, I thought later that was one of the best A quiet evening nights of my life! Really! One of the best nights of my life of dominoes. Just great, right?

super

.

.

.

.

.

...

A further elaboration of this world of dominoes

might

be

conveniently

tied to

continuation of the interaction I have introduced above, in particular between: Arthur (a farmer and part-time builder, married, in his late fifties), June (a parta

time cook, married, in her

early sixties),

Robbie (a farmer, married, in his

early

forties), Sid (a farm labourer, in his mid thirties, and married), Doris (a farmer, married, in her mid thirties) and Nigel (a part-time farm labourer and student of 4 anthropology, a newcomer to Wanet, in his mid twenties and unmarried). The interaction

might also

be conveniently divided into the

and Ending the game. Two caveats are called for, however. The

making plain

of the

language

of

is my own interpretation. What I identify is a ambiguous discourse through which I made friends with Arthur and with others in Wanet. dominoes

and ludic

sequential: Starting, During,

—

But discourses

—

situational and

are

partial

and

contradictory,

and individuals

are

discourse may be seen as having no general consequences for the lives of too; individual talking partners or for their understandings. Arthur and I and others do a

not

always or only

or

necessarily make

friends like this, and

some

in Wanet

never

may. But, then, this should not belie the discourse's significance. Here is a shared way of talking together in Wanet by which a certain structure was given to local life,

a

certain order constructed;

one

way

(among others) in which I learnt routinely

engage in local relations. But there is no essential typicality to Wanet (no overarching 'social structure') which I might also identify, and it is of a diversity of such interactional routines or discourses, and their individual to

interact

so as

interpretations

to

—

puts it (1987:66)

Starting

an —

aggregation

of 'limitless discursive

perspectives',

of which social life in Wanet may be said

to

as

Parkin

consist.

the Game

With the dominoes

spread

out flat on the

table, face down, and shuffled, Arthur, June,

Doris, Robbie, Sid and Nigel each pick up with the two

highest

totals will form

a

one

domino and count its spots. The persons

team for the contest to come, as will the two

lowest and the two middle. Arthur and June thus end up in one team, Sid and Robbie a third. Because Doris and Nigel scored the least, they sit

another, and Doris and Nigel

out the first round of the contest and must wait to meet the winners in the next round.

As

they slide up

themselves

so

the wall seat and out of the way, Sid, Robbie, Arthur and June rearrange are not sitting next to each other and play will alternate

that team mates

from one team to another. Having reseated themselves, Sid, Robbie, Arthur and June each pick up six dominoes from the shuffled array which lies face down before them. This is done in a leisurely and polite fashion, since one unseen domino should be seen to be like any other. Having chosen six, they each turn over and examine their selection, while to

ensuring that no one else can; by placing the dominoes side by side it is possible pick up all six in a fist, shielding them from the others while making them readily

viewable

as a

set. There is thus a characteristic stance at the table with

Arthur and June each

studying

their

it with the other hand. There is also dominoes make

played.

There

an

are

appreciable

own a

fist, removing

or

rearranging

characteristic sound at the table

click when

also clicks heard when

they

one

are

Sid, Robbie,

the dominoes in as

the wooden

set down on the wooden table and

domino in the

right hand or the

whole fist

June: here! Nigel young leave parted, get Then me, were if piay only you'd said Doris: laughs] happen! thoughts, second on evening! for sewn drinks reckon Arthur. it, believe better June. shift, hard be will two these Now chuckles] Chief'! Colonel' 'The be: might thought together! Sid follow. must numbers matches which domino got not have because 'go' cannot turn, their though even signify top table against 'knocked' hand left partner, chose anyway, Nigel. says, he word listen Harvey! Arthur him, been imagine just can what! what's him teaching started since player become He's Doris. Nigel, underestimate Don't tried! Doris, tried, end that out, we're when me complaining always like It's game. point whole evening start from up other's know never apart playing think that's So [she like! myself, For neither! want would Peggy why quite And say. what That's June: luck. bad y'wife, can't You Robbie! hour, an half after you like. home, at other each of enough Imean, buggered. Be Nay! Sid: you?! do wife, your with dominoes play out come wanna But eh? that, about see me'll Robbie June? eh dominoes, ushers dominoes If game. starting feature significant most is arranging The then go we Here Aye. Robbie: drop. her it's so highest the was total June's Nay, laughs]. [he rights by Robbie, and you give to have we'd So, they? don't first', 'ladies say they Well, Arthur: drops? Who you? or Us drop? whose rest on a well interest, pub focus frame a abilities, knowledge prior his demonstrates become, have Robbie Sid whom characters marks then, Chief', Colonel' 'The jokes Arthur As opponents. from off close partner one's possible openly as oneself reveal hope will One world. new this in determinate up setting is opponents partners arrangement itthen beyond relations world workaday ensue. about interaction nature ludic signals and frames he finally, partnership; own their of cause the to June rallies end. his So: .

. — —

maintenance flowing keep drink challenge boast occasion also each finding himself congratulates Sid Now, avoided. superiority claiming ostentatious overt Normally, direction. Robbie's whom ending bemoans openly way, same In )evening 1987 (Rapport relations' 'talking previous under line drawn has draw then, recognition, both This draw. before conversation friendly ushers frame distinct best. second regarded at take Nigel equally, that, out', 'left her joke make must she means however, The part. June's disloyalty sign this have Doris circumstances ordinary pub, flagged clearly most perhaps is (Significantly, represent. would partnership marriage a such of'external' continuation great no there certainly afresh; frame, Within mates. team act allowed separated firmly married way June before therefore, long, too not It minutes. twenty or fifteen some takes this up make games three best The what. holding be likely calculating for times dominoes certain playing significance practice) long (from aware being players with rapidly, quite proceeds Play Game the During farmer. 'unlettered' by educated 'sophisticate', urban man university Nigel, here, apply; first' 'ladies Here, outside. that between differentiation emphasis taken not may umbrage open which aspersions open interaction nature ludic demonstrations effeminacy Sid's Robbie rnastery' Arthur's apprenticeship Nigel's concerning teasing Finally, opponents. non-communicative partner set they relationship communicative sort what depend will game in success their least, at extent some and, separate, and equal individuals, as enter all game, start At frame. dominoes within matter really gender does Nor recognized.) begun again once world outside relations up, break to about partnerships domino with contribution: another's one pay expected be might together table on are who couples married round, final winner the for up set being is money of pot when have they where from return who June, Arthur play to go Sid, Robbie beat then Nigel and place. latters' take Nigel Doris and round, first proceeds. evening so And trophy. visible as table itdomino placing each, beer pint half prize winning members two buys team losing of member a Meanwhile, chatting. bar the on leaning his been had in Sid other. end end, been — — -

do'? 'rum What's do. rum teach ever we did Why win Arthur tired! Well, Dave: work. mental it's dominoes; tired can't What? farm! tomorrow again got He's dominoes. with wear board]: darts from [wandering Dave contempt] affectionate suggesting Army', 'Dad's sit-com, TV from catchphrase a mimics [grinning, Nigel! boy', 'Stupid mean! 'Parasite', Pharisee. Sadducee A Nigel, Pharisee Sadducee [laughing] Nay, talk, local up picking Robbie and you'll So out! Watch Nigel! with, playing league super way that's Well: everything. were night last 'Knocking', tonight! nothing winning nods.] appreciatively grins [Nigel game, want if barge come just should But ask forget People game. draw-in enough often asked isn't know, bad. Not Nigel: farm, today day eh? fault, being partner itcomes when darts aren't Dominoes like. Sid, course, of comment No Sid? eh Doris, Nigel against luck no having certainly We're God, Nigel] winks anyhow say. they That's up. pick dominoes depends one only I'm bet Well Robbie: is? else what wonder know: knotted, tie's your director! funeral not you're lucky It's Robbie. slow, have 'Knocking'. mean that! saying keep Sorry, 'Pass'. Doris: naked. work go probably He'd Peggy! without do you would tie] Robbie's straightens turns [she coarse! so men You God! June: in] join men other and joke, his laughs [he screw! prick knotted a get to hard be must it how like Yeah, Arthur: there! nasty something said Icould've it! knot could who pub on there Day' 'Doris How place. women tourist these at out popping are eyeballs Nigel's characterizations] his at laugh others [the Board' Marketing 'Milk and 'secretary', Whistle's Reggie bar-room], across [looking tonight in all they're 1see lately! 'Mastermind' much too watching her? Fancy Nigel. stool, sure! for you, over pray She'd Nigel? her, about What too. daughter, parson's the there's And Sid: June! terrible, he Isn't embarrassment]: mock with [laughing, Doris Sid. on, him lead Don't [laughing]: Sid bones. It bar June chuckles] had you're been .....

ago years Twenty now. beauty Quite her! saw last since developed she's but Heli, daughter? parson's Is God! put Arthur is This grim}. tonight, drinks far too fall so Just lager]: of a with bar behind [coming Manchester in being me same would s'pose Adam! nobody past; No better. any knows no yourself, about anything say did, Nigel like here, Wanet. advantage that's See: me. There's No. said. Wendy So married, were thought would! godfathers: My then, her, fancy Don't laugh]. [the myself her after been I'd and come gonna do, if gob. great my cos chapel job go saying always Joanna's eh? talking, all for minds their Never [she stirrers, awful they June: Nigel?! then, yet bitter not still it. Bugger 'knocking'. One-Yan: would. Aye, done, Well itup. one'ed Aye! Yan-Yan following? be meant am What up? are dominoes what Uh, dominoes] of fist at shoulder his back, on leans chuckles after, looking of lot need do bar]: from Maggie [following Charles 'Knocking'. drinking! Get Nigel. backwatering, You're started] just has one other beside half-pint new places and resignedly Cheers! Nigel: round. grinning] goes, as laugh others [the anyway! over better Company's going. I'm message! Iget Okay! all. at there before wasn't there, hatch, There Doris: fit! Robbie: alright. busy them That chuckles] .[he time all cellar from beer fetch had landlords When be? used Eagle how Remember you, don't why belong, where bar the behind back off Fuck there. that right quite was And Aye. June: likes. he as play can Nigel Arthur: Smith! game, own your to keep Sid: laughs] Nigel? Eh, temptation! thing, Terrible four. double that played have never should You shoulder] Nigel's over looks still [he Nigel! here, hand gorgeous a ruining you're God, Charles: warily] smiles [Nigel lad? you Aren't plate! collection the .... ..

embarrassed] [she gossiping awful, saying Lynn Mary. Molly Wendy spot leaving history 0-2, dead, partner, only know, Eagle dropped hopeless emharrassedly]: [laughing Nigel there, yourself playing 'Knocking'. grins] practising boozing, darts, Gossiping, Nigel. here, picking you'll leg Against Leyton? Monday's Oh, Nigel: Sunday. Ben, players got They they Beginner's again obviously They've 'knocking'. again. 'Knocking' Askrig? then, straighten trying looking back]: [stretching sitting, laughs] [Robbie fuck-off, Why tonight. Askrig! alright, Nay, right? partner's, depends really you're just Nay. starting help; partners recently. losing distraught getting telling Well, chequers draughts Harry's player good always winning concentrating keep night, Nay! Nigel! day. Soft-hearted, equal. making easing away] pushes laughs, [he sitting Dennis, Harry luck, Look Ooh! known been there! stool these All this? Isn't later. tell Oh What?! before. about heard should've June: chat there moved has look! bar! her her world: back come you, Mind now. as with ever was cos team, from me sometimes sorry, Doris it. knew threes had when three'ed partner were You do rum habits Yeah. match? round second Second Inn? New June: match dominoes' did knock-out know. now, Mitre over young some did. won count. worth even itthen. That's Me me: excuse Is now. God! back. bad my dominoes. at Doris! me, Excuse his Sid know have can Milden. we're fault hand your game because worse, or any say you like hand. of luck is much so me! think to So loss! dead real A here! look no it's different tried I'm dominoes all bit you. mind don't Sid: Joe. than at better seen not I've too. And Great! Andrews? Joe was, dad doms what Remember Andrews end darts: same It's that. after on can't then one few a Iwin this for soft-hearted too I'm that must It Robbie: eh in Soft Arthur: be That'll Robbie? You! Doris: scores the and up him Robbie and like! more Yes head .. ..— ...

significant them saying elsewhere; than pleasure seeming regularity swear-words boy' 'stupid Pharisee', Sadducee 'what do', rum 'its catchphrases favourite Here, value. special has accent' 'Wanet talking For beyond. worlds interactions individuals' characteristics number form 'purer' eventuates dominoes rest pub, focus As Right. Nigel: Nigel? Eh haven't. if win to want Idon't cheat: no I'm count. have let's Anyway, Doris: would 'One-One' (where elsewhere heard rarely —in 'Yan-Yan' area Wanet dialect aspects English) Old Norse (Old distinctive celebrate Likewise, elsewhere. than appreciated effective, can more behaviour means table domino distillation The ribbing. concerted some without do' 'rum mimicking get allowed Nigel ridiculed; castigated ruthlessly outsiders by accenting usurpation here it Moreover, itself. heritage village people At phrasing). usual be meant often behind from him beer over carrying politely efforts Maggie's rate; drinking consensual with line keeping 'backwatering', accuses she voice Doris's indignation warning Hence claimed. expected most norms here, he partner, darts unlike assures himself luck. bad defeat Robbie's away explains winning significance pooh-poohs repeatedly while stirrers'); awful they ('Aren't aright talk local 'read' how example, him, telling pointedly table, at wanted home feel Nigel making polite particularly are Arthur Meanwhile, cheating. never statement redundant) (otherwise Doris' hence, And details extraneous seemingly on make players comments teeds propriety moral purity This fortunes. team's responsible all at Sid hold about boastfully agrees slowness, teases Sid When playing. those wider well as themselves) (including game playing those lives openness ease themselves, another shared full a only not demonstrated being what soft-heartedness, own to admits Robbie and Robbie, care long-suffering Peggy's mentions June when organs, sexual his Sid's too sense this in It disguise. ignorance for here place no is There relationship. or person a core essential into reaches knowledge their that way the also but another, one between information of conveyance does best; bar. size — —

interrogating visitors locals fellow caricaturing formalities, behind goes insight Here features. essential exaggeration caricatures understood. Board' Marketing 'Milk secretary', pub—Whistle's women Thus: legitimate. forthcoming been information ascertain so Wanet, newcomer unknown relatively recent Nigel, too, reason this loud. insights speak license does threat sexual sort what fancy?; he truthful how represent?; fears allaying time) partaking those (and between relationship rather distillation rumours? bar leaving always players fast, hard never The pub. those toilet, it?'), off bugger you don't ('So peremptorily rebukes Sid place', dominoes' 'in mistakenly about then, joke, a makes When is. was building even born were drinkers present before carryings-on) its (borne frequented who regulars they because also Domino pursuit. 'purity' for certain accorded are Nevertheless, plays. particular comment chat, saunter frequently will pub rest part him offer oblige noblesse their extend boundary The Sid). Doris adult other interaction diluted a sense aggrieved an Dave) Walter (such non-players young eyebrows raised occasions Nigel play down sitting Arthur's reason, same Changes table. beyond by wrought changes witness absolute bear why This impact. no have time over develop maturity characteristics workaday such even reminds) Arthur (as sway, holds consistently fate where game timeless: partakes properly which something there inappropriate. tiring give way some might genre ludic suggest while disrespectful, place, out influence overweening talk dominoes, In farm. on work more has Nigel reminder Dave's appreciate not do players that means as translate should respect recorded, father her relations changing Doris's charted, Eagle structure in skill game-playing old daughter, parson's parson from celebrated: can generations local cycle life light-hearted focus a itis young, many For nonetheless. table, domino of world rarefied with home at differently be may people Different world. frames and fixes temporally table dominoes the time, outside From new. to family Andrews be, June game. — —

have we bantering, teasing up, measure properly knowing not insecurity there Doris), Sid Robbie, as (such generations in some For even comment distancing Doris's Hence, to. wish yet whether ambivalence she game a middle (and younger relax attempt an (perhaps Arthur Even consistently. well play cannot they Sid Robbie by admissions also, wordage; proper dominoes's than mind on more 'Mastermind' show quiz TV he party of members out run (June 'pot'; fund prize ten place each Sid Doris, Robbie, shuffled, again table face placed therefore of'Fives-and-Threes'. final having by bed' 'put probably now then, agreed, It too. home get match darts his Fred extricate she says farm, getting should him reminds over comes wife Robbie's out, thin begins Eagle 10.25, for called orders' 'last as Tonight, pub. leave are evening, weekday on o'clock eleven three: sometimes hour, an Sometimes close. drawn will game enough, have they feeling common there leave, have people more or one When Game the Ending years. over otherwise or improvement one's judge impossible luck is dominoes much so represents: table domino at participation that responsibility from himself distance occasion has table) the to invited June while go, stands farewells, Peggy case. wooden in bed', 'to putting job has Robbie case this going pence sixty pot takes game, wins often most whose player The three. which five divide totals which calculates spots, counting and, four selects then Each contribution). her up make Tom, husband, her search go to seem Nigel Arthur beat also me and you because conquerors, two-tirne us makes That table]: the by [standing Doris beers. sipping seated, remain hurry of twenty their Even remember? back, together, we and months first in He [laughing]. Aye! Arthur: he? wasn't man, Noisy God! Oh Wether. June: here? down came when Remember Howth-le-dale. from Billy old with played ago month about be must It player. big not I'm Nay, Sid: 'night. June: Arthur, Nigel, all. night Good then. Right, nothing] say June and Arthur but grins [Nigel experience! time last that it Ireckon folks money taking that, after times few back was cos somehow, it, liked must've he And Alf. off dominoes at pound a took less heard. newer) years' — ...

him, pounds played here, Billy cheating closely night, 2, Catterick, time, racing. holiday days' example, unpredictability. strange Aye, opposite about, Chief', Quite things laughing], Nigel leaving off, tonight, lot, So, Eh, types, nights tonight. quite laughs] [she blessing! happen Nay, thing! by! thing No, laughs]. [he difficulty while, playing keep something. party place wandering got like, play; system Aye [laughing]: people, play. they have, might it, hang getting great. Yeah, Nigel? Aye! enough noisy being by enjoyment spoil alright gets noisy. Hogart. pubs repeat Eagle, grins] [Nigel that, something opposite: singles good giving people just lad, playing, Well, against, play why likely working though completely, Nigel: depends by get partners players. experienced separately, Though nods] [She partners, hopeless told said! too Old Stewart. off three took that him, been heard since. seen haven't be could watch here next The 13total Fred Robbie beat Alf races, home Last horse go year, each five four my For its love say even. came Or think. Just lost than more win did Uh-huh. character sort Chief' 'The goes There June and Arthur walks then this among left terrorists IRA any offcomers. weirdest full locals few Least Poor June: worried isn't that's see but after couldn't offcomer Some dresses! white in about women gorgeous two these were there with tried last out. him make So all. at method there's cos everyone, follow lad! Arthur follow. hard find Someone anyway. Most what I'm feel it's bones', 'the like Sid: me! company his minutes Five June: that. folks' other shouldn't doses. small mean few. he's when riled well Ihear he Well in most from contest had and me Like game. wonder is me, for And them! 14-2 handa Like: advice. not it. do tell can't way one no there's Arthur: difficult so was Stewart said you That's come. or gone have to what's out of skill still There's Arthur. Not up. come dominoes the how on itall Cos lads. young any beaten we But both we're June? eh as are June banned .. .... .

bare, six double drop he'd says he arguments long have Jonty, son-in-law, like: Or, other... each complement where hand doubles necessarily not say suits, different five strong proof leads following were see could cos Nigel, tonight, straight playing was bluff Or them. from diverge if opponents beat can game There right, you're mean. know think anyway, opponent. an deceive trying before partner my tell try always I'd Arwould: friendly!? call what that Is bed! doms putting Fives-and-Threes her up pay finally, me, comes wife And draw. left been find then game, wait dominoes, Eagle out know! don't seat]: wall down sitting room back [walking Tom randomly. quite conventions all ignored because hollow them beat we know, and, Kendal, pub players two on take we'd thought me and Hackett Wilbur once, remember bluffing ways lots are there But straight. played so like ends, game 'night. will, Thanks, Nigel: one. want you when draw-in ask over come Just said. Like lad. soon, again do We'll well. Aye, Arthur: game. the lot Thanks home. off I'm itme. that's Well, Nigel: evening. good Ihad Nay, true. That's Tom: laugh] [they wife! with play to wanting for Ryecroft, fault, own your It's leaves Doris As constraint. consequence predictability, outside free comments nostalgic to, returning are they worlds on comments parting, They relations. identities returns exits their negotiate players itself, reassert set is dommo beyond success responsibility adult reins how shown have win, pleased farmer, competitive herself reasserts she likes wrested save ready Wanet, guardian gatekeeper self-appointed returns, 'Chief' gruff rough, character table, leave prepares Sid as While, If consequence. without risk-taking represents dominoes which luxury keen seems Arthur Finally, them. caricature world workaday fears serious around turn things, people core essential into see table domino by granted capability ludic parodying (liminal) a already Here terrorism. intrusion offcomer manner all from day in over triumph celebrate can he something is unpredictability same very the then cash-jobs, piece-work various and farm small off living meagre a make to trying existence, daily his dominoes. of world June. then, been dale bane thur: ...

— —

behind possible engaged, primarily appear activity outcome matter June) (such relations steady close maintain able only Not people. between communication uncertainties foil perfect find seems Furthermore, On hands. have convey) less more discover practice, that, life, future present his on chance both over mastery gains how celebrates In trail. one's put player fellow a bluffing, by strategy conventions able also hand, communication other verbal uncertainties overcome through medium offers dominoes misunderstood. being effects hidden what knows sure impossible that broad exchange parameters possibilities there, world: everyday sympathy expect Tom While possessed). was it if bare six double drop would wisdom apprised fully not Jonty, son-in-law, Arthur's dale, another Coming way. polite, conventional, but admits, playing, way no might Hence, represent. milieu moral concerning notions reprise also dominoes, world of leaving negotiate time same At them. interacts one often however gestures words else's someone And outsiders. good pair beat so unconventionally) (randomly, impolitely playing imagine can he Kendal, dominoes, outside Arthur when then, Significantly, cheats. possibly rowdy are restraint, selfwithout fellows off money take they play: their strongly equally community boundaries demonstrate Howth-le-dale, Billy such outside, from players Meanwhile, players. rest conventionalism absence, its in up, point serves consistency or system method, of lack Stewart's But accent. this exemplify expected be cannot whose child, a as difficulties learning had who adult local Stewart, only It wife). his June, play it(and overturn is all, for short, In later. incident up own the home come to proud table many with fateful individual inconsequential, liminal exciting, ludic shared, conventional moral, pure transcendant, timeless dependable, and fixed something there place take routinely games domino friends. them makes which home, at feel Wanet in pub Eagle seeks — — -

Conclusion While not said

explicitly,

when Arthur referred, humorously and somewhat as 'the bones', there was much I could read into his

selfconsciously, dominoes

to

words besides

reference

their

original ingredients. Here was, after all, the skeletal basis of relations of friendship, as well as an opportunity to see life to its foundation. For me, certainly, playing 'the bones' with Arthur provided the basis for one of the closest relationships I developed in Wanet and an affection which I believe was at least in part reciprocated: a

to

—

You

ve enjoyed your company. Maybe this is a stupid right way, but I think you and I share a philosophy of life ...I think you must live lots of different lives, in some form of'you': it's like your I might never meet you again, Nigel, but there's still the chance that I you continues will. It's like we talk of infinity: two parallel lines meet at infinity, and the rest; but we don't really understand infinity at all. Well, I've bared my soul to you tonight, Nigel. seem

speech

to like

Wanet, Nigel, and I

and I'm not

saying

it the

...

.

.

Bared my soul.

Nor

is

it accidental that Arthur waxed his most

lyrical

evening of dominoes; 'a quiet evening of dominoes' in some of 'the best nights of his life'.

and

the

philosophical after an Eagle really did occasion

John Berger makes a nice point when he descrioes the way m which we often find it easiest to express intimacies, to introspect, and to maintain friendly via proximate objects and actions (1967:93). Transferring intimacies between

conversation,

knowledge of oneself to the outward complexities of a football a committee meeting, a fashionable outfit, a recipe, a piece of that intimacies so become intricacies provides a language for friendly prose and intimate expression; as heads metaphorically touch bending over the car engine, persons

or

intimate

match, a car engine, —

so

—

individual worlds intersect. 5 Arthur could conclude that he and I 'shared

philosophy across

of life' and 'had the chance to meet

again',

because of the way

we

a

met

the domino table.

Furthermore, the external transference of friendly

intimacies to dommo

intricacies remain; ambiguities precise degrees enables the

of closeness to

Simmers 'revelation and reserve'

are never

so

that the

of

enunciated. And this is the last point I

should like to make. If

'friendship' represents 'a universal human phenomenon' ( Du Bois 1974 :14), 'an authentic field of intercourse in its own right' (Fried 1953 :67), then it is one inherently bound up with the expression (enjoyment, employment, effectuation) of relational ambivalences. Much of the anthropological literature on friendship lays stress on a differentiation between friendship relations and others (kinship, class, status and role) on the basis of the (certain) ascription of the latter and the (potential) achievement of the former (cf. Wolf 1966 :10).

Friendship

is 'remarkable', Paine tells

us

(1974:124), for the

way individuals

can

express and effect interest, confidentiality and intimacy independently of the cluster of institutional statuses otherwise attached to them; friendship involves a voluntary-

preferential dimension, Du Bois concludes (1974:16-18), distinct from corporate relations, which provides a special gratuitousness and spontaneity. And yet, such differentiation from the institutional and the corporate is itself prone comes to in the

to

institutionalize: literature, friendship essentialistically embody the

non

6

emphasize, instead, is the conscious playing ambiguity, uncertainty and ambivalence which friendship affords, whereby a distinct perspective on the world and its relations (not institutional or anti- or non-) is entered into. Simmel spoke of the poignancy of friendship's mutability and mortality, its contingency and particularity (1950:124); what I would stress is the thrill of its potentiality. Finally, then, for friendship, playing dominoes in Wanet would appear the perfect foil: a gratuitous act in ludic genre. With no mutual access to one another's hands and no definite knowledge of how each is playing them, with no complete concerning what permutations of dominoes each regards as orderly, and with no agreement concerning what fit between dominoes in the hand and on the table is to be aimed at, the nature of relations between individual players is indeterminate, to say the least. But if part of the social world that playing dominoes in Wanet gives on to concerns a lack of knowledge, part also concerns the possibility of perfect friendly relations between people to which the skilful deployment of one's 'bones' can give rise. or

anti-institutional. What I would

with

knowledge

Notes 1

'Dominoes':

a

game of chance

counters, the aim and

so

being

played with twenty-eight variously numbered align number with number, on different counters, one's 'hand' of randomly selected counters before

to

relieve oneself of

one's opponent(s). 2 Cf. Rapport (forthcoming) for 3

corresponding analysis of darts-playing. to be tantalizing ambiguities surrounding the Etymologically, word 'friend' and its English synonyms (not to mention many other languages [ Schwimmer 1974 :49; Hastrup 1987 :94]). In Old English and contemporary too, there

Scots, 'friend' denotes

a

a

seem

kinsman

or near

relative, and derives from the Old

Teutonic 'to love'. 'Pal', meanwhile, of Gypsy derivation, might mean a brother or partner as well as a chum or friend. 'Chum' itself, a probable corruption of

'chamber-mate', could shared

one

a

well

marriage 'buddy', finally, as

mean

both

habitual

as an

denotes

a

close friend and

associate with whom

an

'mate', from Middle Dutch,

room; while

companion,

brother

a

as

equal,

an

well

as a

a

can be a partner in friend. The American

most constant

companion

or

friend. 4 The interaction is reconstructed from fieldnotes, which themselves took the form of as precise a memorization as possible of the proxemics and verbalizations of individuals in

exchange (cf. Rapport 1993:55—82).

5 Berger: 'When friends recall another friend who is dead or absent, they recall how he always maintained that a front-wheel drive was safer; and in their memory this

acquires the value of an intimacy' (1967:93). friendship is essentialized as: a publicly ratified socializing force, as social as it is emotional ( Driberg 1935 :101—2); an anti-institutional cross-cutting of kinship groups, an informally structured countervailing force which offers emotional catharsis to strains in closed groups while instrumentally opens up the possibility of new ones (Cohen 1961 :375); and an institutionalization of 'mutual ministry' (Mandelbaum 1936 :206). now

6 Hence,

References

( 1967 ), A Fortunate Man London : Penguin Burridge K. ( 1957 ), Friendship in Tangu ', Oceania 27 : 177 89 Cohen Y. ( 1961 ), Patterns of Friendship ', in Y Cohen (ed.). Social Structure and J.

Berger

,

.

,

'

—

,

.

,

'

.

,

Personality New York : Holt-Rinehart-Winston Driberg H. ( 1935 ), The "Best Friend" among the Didanga ', .

,

'

,

Man , 35 : 101 02 -

.

'

Du Bois C. ( 1974 ), The Gratuitous Act: An Introduction to the Comparative Study of Friendship Patterns ', in E Leyton (ed.), The Compact St. John's : ISER ,

.

.

,

Fried M. ( 1953 ), Fabric of Chinese Society New York : Praeger Hastrup K. ( 1987 ), Fieldwork among Friends: Ethnographic Exchange within ,

,

,

'

,

the Northern Civilization ', in A Jackson (ed.), Anthropology at Home London : .

Routledge

,

.

'

Mandelbaum D. ( 1936 ), Friendship in North America ', Man 36 : 205 6 Parkin D. ( 1987 ), Comparison as a search for continuity ', in L Holy (ed.), Comparative Anthropology Oxford : Blackwell -

,

.

,

'

.

,

.

,

Paine R. ( 1974 ), An Exploratory Analysis in 'Middle-Class' Culture ', in E. (ed.), The Compact St. John's : ISER ,

Rapport

,

N. J. ( 1987 ),

Leyton

.

,

Talking

Violence. An

anthropological interpretation of

conversation in the city St. John's ISER, Memorial University of Newfoundland ,

:

.

Concepts Anthropological Two Relate to Attempt An Kinship: 1974 Schwimmer 3 Society Agency Self, Human Becoming and Darts Playing Contradiction: Problem-solving _(forthcoming), Press University Edinburgh Village English an World-Views Diverse Leyton Tavistock London Complex Anthropology Social (ed.), Banton ',M Societies Complex in Relations Patron-Client and Friendship Kinship, 1966 E. Wolf Free Glencoe Georg of Sociology ), (1950 G. Simmel :ISER John's St. Compact The 1993 E ,.,''_

-7-

Expressions of Interest: Friendship guanxi in Chinese Societies

and

Alan Smart

comparison of networks 1Ruan (1993 :95) found that in Tianjian (People's Republic of China) on average 6.6 per cent of the people named were described as friends, compared with 67.8 per cent in the United States. Does this mean that friendship is relatively unimportant in China? Or are the differences the result of variations in how personal relationships are perceived and talked about? The same study found that Tianjian respondents described 37.1 per cent of their named relationships as co-workers, 7.1 per cent as subordinates or leaders, and 6.9 per cent as former classmates, compared with 19.9 per cent, nil and nil respectively for the US. Clearly there are differences in social organization that might account for these differences, particularly the all-encompassing nature of the Chinese enterprise (danwei) ( Walder 1986 ), and the low rates of mobility. However, it is also likely that US respondents preferentially describe a co-worker as a friend when possible, while the Chinese respondents referred to people they worked with as co-workers, even when the relationship was close and intimate. This chapter In

a

explores

these differences in ways of

implications

for cross-cultural

talking about connected others, and the

understanding

of friendship.

difficulty involved in this topic involves the status of the concept of 'friendship'. Is it an analyst's concept or a member's concept? If it is based on One

first-order

use by members, specifically English-speakers, we must ask how useful grounding a comparative project. If, on the other hand, we wish to develop the concept into something genuinely universal, we will have to be careful about dragging Western prejudices on board without careful scrutiny. Carrier (in this volume, pp.21-38) argues that certain societies do not have friendship in any strict sense. For him, friendship is a kind of relationship based 'primarily, if not exclusively, on spontaneous and unconstrained sentiment or affection of some sort'. For him, to refer to friendship between co-workers 'is to speak of something construed as different from the relationship defined by their respective locations in the organisation that employs them'. But how do we deal with this if people do not speak about an affective relationship with a co-worker as a friendship but continue to refer to them as co-worker? Kipnis (1997 :26) notes

it is for

unconstrained connections be must societies, them. define criteria set rather relationships, about talking way interaction: idiom Iconcentrate article, :79). 1998 Kee Kiong sentiment affection tinged people relationship any include category expand friendship'? 'true Euro-American comparable situations restrict ways. convincing both positions, two these resolve How sentiment'. 'spontaneous represent seem don't relations patron-client participants used are terms payments, marriages political secured sometimes follower, man big between In manoeuvres'. political chaotic alliances shifting surviving necessity 'the adapt order bought, even cultivated, strategically being friendships see they sagas, Icelandic medieval analysis their Carrier. different very approach take pp.59-78) volume, (in Palsson Durrenburger interactions? friendship-like all encompass can develop need do Or friendship? exclude we Do villager'. fellow categorized usually was within from friend 'a studied he village North in Alan it Africanist while gift, anthropology, Melanesianist In (26). problems' features type exemplars 'become regions extent centre, tend discussions concepts set one each (1990) societies. in friendship degree low is difficulty One interaction. idioms other context concept The growth. economic rates remarkable produce China how interest academic popular result outsiders itby paid attention increase to managed recently societies Students China. lineage studies marginalized :26) 1990 Fardon field this Africanists priority anthropology for focuses dominant been clearly have family While lineage. has It Chinese. Overseas among China, done' things 'getting ubiquitous seen school. attending kinship place, native such identities shared upon primarily built social relationships means which guanxi, one: emic an is ethnography regional Chinese integrating successful most result, a As friendship. as ground conceptual same the some occupies Guanxi 1998). ;Smart 1996 Olds (Thrift response rapid and flexible emphasizes increasingly economy world in advantages offers organization of form new a represents dealings, market arms-length or integration vertical than rather networks on based capitalism, guanxi that suggested

friendship universally hierarchy

lun) IFried still there contexts, contemporary importance diminishing of statuses ascriptive though Societies guanxi and Friendship such. paid little so, doing Prior concept. member's differences parallels, examining begin need we societies, adequately least at Since accounts. ethnographic historical into incorporated information relevant amount reasonable china, in specifically focus studies no almost While China Anthropology the in Friendship sociability. dimensions expressive instrumental conflict explore Finally, guanine. concepts compare section, following societies. discussions review have ordered be should life B.C., century fifth (wu human These :10). 1979 (Baker friend' friend brother, younger elder wife, husband son, father minister, ruler relationship principles applicable five 'There that: written Mean Doctrine volume In ranked. listed exception priority, order 'arranged than important practice That relationship. from remove friendship idioms relational Only hierarchy. equality signal simultaneously manages sworn alike, brothers since persists members: among brotherhood emphasize societies secret impact an even has This age. ranked sibling terminologies, kinship other most Unlike (11). relationships' superior/inferior one time unusual which (1969), Society Chinese Fabric ethnography Fried's Morton indicated is ranking classic had marriage son's her organizing' mover 'prime act mother tendency example, for noted, He society'. Chu'uhsien levels all exists 'clearly found (1969:226) exploitation', object devoid sympathy affectation mutual on based persons or two relationship 'a defined Friendship, relationships. non-kin attention close reduced his respond friends did only 'Not difficulties, financial was Chang Mr where case described (59). blood' related not who 'friends by taken place (91). well' relatives nearby outdid they but relatives, distant than alacrity more with 'differs ganging Fried, For relations. closer cultivate to attempts often were there unequals, relationships argued He closeness. feelings as translates literally that term a ganging, and between distinguished strongly Fried (208). emergency' relationships social flow normal the facilitating in importance paramount are friendship of 'ties that asserts its been her needs deal To last Overall, .

from

friendship

in that

less warmth and

more

presumes a much more specific common interest, much formality of contract, and includes a recognized degree of it

It was, for him, 'the primary institutionalized technique which class differences are reduced between non-related persons'. Friendship,

exploitation' (226). contrast, 'makes contrast

by by

assumption of equality' (103). In current times, a similar 2 friendship and guanxi and I suggest below that between relations based on instrumental versus affective goals is a

tacit

is often made between

the distinction

less clear that it may sometimes appear. Fried stresses the importance of friendships based on having been classmates (tongxue). The age-class groupings in school facilitated the formation of friendships and

Rather than

cliques.

being transient,

the

importance

of these

friendships

becomes greater over time. After graduating, the student often is still 'tied to a few or many of his classmates by strong emotional and common interest bonds'. Some of these ties weaken but few die away completely. Fried notes that: 'After many years the mention of common participation in a class [. ..] will serve to erect a bridge between strangers. Many boys go on with the friendships made in school until

kinship structure for loyalty' (185). In Hong Kong and Taiwan, ties with classmates are extremely important as well, and are often more useful than kinship ties, since tongxue are more likely to have skills or they

information that

even

are

challenge

the

relevant to the situation.

Although Margery Wolf doesn't explore the she is

one

of the few

ethnographers

concept of friendship itself in detail,

who have

emphasized

its

importance

within

rural Chinese

society. This may be because of her innovative emphasis on women's communities, informal networks that are given no formal place in the patriarchal official society. As she notes: 'Few

China experience the continuity that is typical of the lives of the menfolk'(1972:32). Instead, women had to subvert official structures women in

systems of support. The dominant focus on men in regard to the Chinese has missed the complexities of the system: 'With a female focus, however,

to create

family

see the Chinese family not as a continuous line stretching between the vague horizons of past and future, but as a contemporary group that comes into existence out of one woman's need and is held together insofar as she has the strength to do we

so' (37). Women have few formal resources, and their defences are based largely in loose and unofficial networks of friends and neighbours (52). 3 For young brides,

friendships

outside their husband's relatives

are

critical because

by the

end of the

first year of marriage 'a young women should have enough friends in the village to at least make her side of any conflict public' (147). Friendship and its variants have received more attention among migrant

communities. in Southeast Asia, Chan and Chiang (1994 :210) discussing In

comment access

to

newcomers

that: 'Instrumental resources

whereas

friendship is contracted for the purpose of attaining expressive (emotional) friendship stresses the satis-

friendship hand altruism impulses between negotiation contested behaviour, double-edged a thus Helping gains. instrumental exchange manipulated party given support 'the helped, Newcomers one.' dependent yet ambiguous relationship patron-client rendering simultaneously, exist likely friendship types another. one individuals needs emotional faction (1990 (113). paternalism friendship, cultivating ideology often there workers, towards Even (223—4). involved' also sentiments affective some ones "instrumental" strictly they were nor relations, family exemplified "expressive" intimate, close, approximate not 'could engaged entrepreneur relationships interpersonal endeavour'. business success orchestrating essential relations interpersonal The (210). other' parties both calculus grounded egoism have may relationships, personal specific of'very built Their life'. Overseas understanding 'fundamental networks horizontal argues phases interrelated potentially but opposed, expressivity instrumentality see not does Redding (36). granted' taken be cannot linkages such outside cooperation that them. has genuine where point maintained then usefulness practical initiated China interior from mobility labour rates high present, At (406). students' politicians, merchants, alliances cross-locality step first grouping cases, 'In regionalisms, narrow supporting just than Rather :406). (1995 Chinese' urban employed strategies social effective persistent 'one connections tongxiang-based construction The supple'. important most among 'was place native identities (tong) shared varieties argues He strangers'. as status vulnerable for remedy powerful ties locality their found who sojourners by fashion 'socially accomplished was urbanization says :406) (1995 Strand context. migrants adjustment smooth help place) (native ways accounts many there generally, More relationship. cultivation (1972 Pasternak societies. Chinese ethnographies common friends reference which context another Voluntary conditions. adapt jobs available about information provide tongxiang reliance strong with up bound is cities coasts opportunities economic new to countryside on organized are associations cross-kin suggests the account an In friendship. of (1995 Liu Wasserstrom China, movements student part crucial a played settings private in cemented established ties other and friendships personal stress 'informants that note process'. mobilization been basis 1989 :36) :107) :389)

emigration patterns comparisons experiences fieldwork accounts (1987 Gates made. society home anthropologist's last expected are friendships however, made, Once themselves. amusing out while or work, school, readily so do learn Americans as acquaintanceships short-term casual, few make Chinese however. version, American from differs itself meaning The possible. friendship which within framework a create relations, human order smooth part in exists Etiquette that: states participation then could who Sinologist, cultivate all, above 'was, research collaboration made expectations at discomfort discusses (1995) (15). friendship' definition being close comes dignity other's each demonstrates etiquette by framed usefulness Mutual origin. appearance alien despite trustworthy familiar making thus standards, rules Iunderstood informants showing by fabric 'the her incorporate helped gifts Giving symbolically'. well tangibly itself express 'expected society, important notes, she exchanges, Gift loyalty. and time, resources, other's the on claims strong very party each give to relationship cultivating goal common Sponsorship lives' professional options greater achieving way me capital social investment Their from departure facilitate was China. outside world intellectual essentially, This, benefit. can sides both research, criticism constructive encouragement them simply publish opportunities juniors their offer senior when example, For that. about feelings negative necessarily don't we lines, similar along experience my yet America, North academics among relationships analogous discuss does She friendships. investments strategic make where States, United in in between contrast implicit builds analysis This (34). investment' profitable try; worth it's Chinese, for but sponsorships, into turn friendships many Not .] [. China out avenue an 'Westerner friendship notes even 'friendships', as Beaver cultivate efforts all view to appropriate be may It friendship. with hardly which supervision, graduate have would aim instrumental since idiom, on more focuses definition cultural Euro-American the that is difference The contexts. Euro-American or Chinese either incompatible not certainly are friendship facets expressive and Instrumental cases. of number a in foremost basis been :6), .

after existed wouldn't pressure subjected being were .]felt [. himself wife His assistance. expectations reciprocity, levels high i.e. :47), 1982 Butterfield Westerner' doesn't it obligations carries Chinese, other Wangs, sense began soon '[W]e that, writes who journalist, this clearer even Western contrast relations. intimate close than gains (instrumental) mutual around revolve instability leading dimension, gave America; abandoned intimacy an and assurances offered China Friendship more. something was Ithought But claustrophobia. described Barbara West. different instrumental expressive between boundary suggest exchange gift Americans ot experiences accounts These (47). uneasy' us left obligations gift-giving constant Westerners Wangs, the to close feel did ourselves We lost. have we that rewards, material well as psychic Chinese there suggested (1965) Vogei China, in account early substantial perhaps In later. returned will contexts, two China relations personal change decline involving Party, Communist victory convictions), (shared tongzhi comrade translated usually term Chinese noted should It Party-State. through mediated are relationships equality fundamental by replaced direct personalism which ), 1965 universalism on based contrast, By generally. friendship undermined information) receiver (and trust risk friendships, broken lead necessarily did Disclosure (47). friends' self one's for consequences minimise much and but information, 'is question citizens, most For problem'. view serious more a take authorities itcause because rare friend information supply 'refusal since time, theme constant a was friends Betrayal authorities. attention brought might private remain would conversations whether uncertainty from resulted shift This comradeship. rise have identities shared tong addition represents in relationships work governing moral 'the similar ethic an as states Vogel :159). 1997 (Kipnis discussed co-worker or colleague relationship friendship-like of variety Another penetrated. actually comradeship far how about skeptical is (1985) Gold (1965:59). work' the doing with interfere they that friendships deep such form not but friendly be to expected thus had 1949 been West. One .

(tongshi). Yan (1996) suggests that villagers don't refer to other villagers as tongshi, when they work in the same agricultural collectives, unless they have a career. Colleague as a relational idiom is primarily a feature of and commercialization. It is a relatively important sociable tie in Hong Kong, although not as all-encompassing as in Japan, but the distinctive development of the urban economy in the People's Republic has dramatically heightened its salience in everyday life ( Walder 1986 ). Ruan concludes that people working in which provide high levels of benefits have many common activities and even

nonagricultural urbanization organizations interests:

[. .] and their social circles are likely to be overlapping. Take as an example two Chinese employees who work for the same factory: they may live in the same neighbourhood, since housing is provided by the factory; they are likely to belong to the same leisure club, which is organized by the factory too; and their children may go to the same school attached to the factory. In short, they belong together to multiple social circles. Now take two Americans who work together. Except on the job, they have much fewer opportunities to meet than the two Chinese co-workers (1993:104—5). .

There are, then,

4

variety of friendship-like relationships which are talked about in terms of shared identity and have received more explicit attention than has friendship. The implications are discussed below. Friendship Perhaps the

a

and guanxi

main

problem

in

developing an

account of the nature of friendship

in

Chinese societies is that the concept of guanxi has absorbed much of the attention that might be devoted to it (guanxi has often been suggested as a key to

understanding

Chinese societies, whereas the same has never been said for friendship). This, combined with the existence of a variety of alternative relational idioms that occupy much of the discursive terrain, means that reference to friendship in the literature is peripheral to the main issues of contention. between

friendship and experiences

fit Chinese

Yang (1994)

acknowledging

Clarifying the relationship

the other relational idioms is essential for any attempt a comparative understanding of friendship.

to

into

up a strong contrast between guanxi and friendship, although their close interrelationship in practice. She suggests that sets

potential friendships practice'. serve

popular

'as bases or

discourse

as

being

sites for guanxi It is understood in less disinterested, instrumental, and ethically (111). While friendship is frequently appropriated

'more

purer than guanxi relationships' by guanxi,'[I]t is also friendship that is most often set up in contrast to guanxi in popular discourse. Notions of friendship are expressed in the different categories of "heart-to-heart friends" (zhixin

pengyou)

and friends who

use

each other

(huxiang liyong), a contrast that follows the distinction between expressive or emotional friendship and instrumental friendship' (117). 'Heart-to-heart friends' are 'real friends'. They cannot be used 'as an instrument to acquire resources, because in real friendship, one gives without thinking of a return' (117). Such friends are rare and people have 'more "ordinary friends" (yiban pengyou) than "heart-to-heart friends'" (117). Ordinary friends are more like what Allan (1989) describes as mates: people with whom one can have a good time, but without sharing much intimacy. Yang's analysis opposes friends and guanxi partners, affection and instrumental goals, and is consistent with Western ideas of how friends are distinguished from other kinds of relationships: voluntary, non-exploitative, and non-hierarchical. Is this adequate or is there more similarity between guanxi and friendship than this account would suggest? Ambrose King (1991) sees Chinese societies as guanxi-based rather than individual-based, as in Western societies, or group-based, as in Japan. The self is seen in Confucian philosophy as actively constructed by the individual 'who is capable of defining roles for himself and others, and is always at the centre '(113). One result is that the boundary between self and group is 'relative and elastic' and this elasticity of the boundary of the group: 'Gives the individual enough social and psychological space to construct his kuan-hsi [guanxi] with an unlimited number of other individuals on kinship or fictive kinship bases' (113). Whereas Yang (1994) tends to present guanxi as opposed to true friendship, King is less inclined to see the two as necessarily in conflict. He suggests that inculcation of a universalistic ethic in the People's Republic 5 has produced a more negative attitude towards guanxi than is found among Overseas Chinese. Guanxi may serve as a base for resistance to Party-State control (Yang 1994), but it has also always been the Party cadres who have the best guanxi and it thus may also operate to increase inequality of access to scarce resources ( Oi 1989 ). Among Overseas Chinese, guanxi is usually perceived more positively. Indeed it is often seen as a

Asian way of doing business and organizing societies moral than the hedonistic individualism of the West and more

central part of

that is both

more

an

effective ( Smart 1997 ). There are ways to incorporate guanxi and personalistic obligations without undermining organizational rationality ( King 1991 ). Yan (1996 :224) found that the North China villagers he studied recognized different parts of their guanxi networks, which he terms the personal core, the reliable zone, and the effective zone, defined on the basis of the 'degree of reliability in interpersonal relations'. While the personal core consists of family members, the reliable

zone includes good friends, and the distinctions between the two clear, because 'close friends may be regarded as closer than relatives' (100). In the effective zone, there is greater emphasis on short-term reciprocity

are not

and balance. In the wider

society,

outside the effective zone, connections

are

relationship. coworkers unavailable, links into strangers changes transformation calls :39^4-0) (1989 Yang relations, guanxi creating (100). (bribes) gift-giving' instrumental 'short-term, favours receive on constructed still familiarity order secondpossible, not 'discovering' where cases boundaries. stretching severely sometimes found, usually can identity identities. shared appealing generally parties, two 'familiarity' basis establishing other's have may foreigner A party. third partners discussion survey findings us returns point This (outside). wai either classified cousins even system, kinship patrilineal Chinese on. so (classmates) tongxue (colleagues), tongshi place), native (shared tongxiang bases: types main part united) (together tong significance their reveal These uncle. counterpart's his university same Ruan, by relationship, character important signals status secondary its but elicited, course, can, Such locality. activity, leisure work, school, you linkage initial It quality only yourself, party between any provide doesn't 'friend' Introducing relationships. conceptions varying related factor, discursive also there but hours, working outside with associated likely co-workers means danwai nature encompassing Clearly, idioms. use differences organizations, social different product was China reference greater whether question guanxi one's expansion possible that though, assume, we developed. it context engage necessary information background then be might identities kinds what clues itprovides since transformation, right, (1991) King If dimension. expressive expense at connections practical emphasize a than colleague as someone identify To alone. highlights which friend term uniike category, or group membership shared emphasizes tongs one rubric under relationship a to Referring simply rather participants) by (used concepts first-order 1994:64), (Yang nets literally guanxiwang, called networks Chinese, In interaction. styles Western in common than situational contextual explicitly more are and Selves parties. all for critical webs relational these about information then them, within itself positioning relationships construction fluid through reformed and formed is self the of version Chinese each shared. gone US network,

second-order concepts (analyst's concepts). Many of the difficulties of daily life reforms, are coped with

in socialist China, both before and after the economic

through

reliance

networks. The networks

on

are

grounded in the dyadic

relationships

of which they exchanges of favours,

composed, and are created and maintained through gifts, information, and support. Guanxi exchanges combine

with

solidarity, gift with commodity, and, as I have argued capitalism with socialism. When networks cross and fraught with difference, separation and conflict as that

instrumentality elsewhere,

serve to

boundaries

as

between

are

combine

loaded

capitalist Hong Kong and

socialist China (Smart and Smart 1991 1998 ), accomplished resolutions (usually ad hoc ,

these ambivalences, contradictions and and temporary) contained within these of the connections,

linkages

and

exchanges are 6 practices that result.

fundamental

to

the

nature

These ambivalences make

it necessary that much that is central to these exchanges and to the guanxi networks must be excluded from the performance, kept from becoming explicit. What does all this

friendship? As mentioned before, friendship fits within a discursive terrain largely occupied by the concept of guanxi and its allied relational idioms. 7 Friendship is simultaneously a base on which guanxi ties can be built, and a cultural resource for criticism of (certain kinds of) guanxi practice. mean

for

In this discursive terrain tensions between affective and instrumental dimensions

of social ties

powerful but ambivalent. One resolution is consistent with Western friendship that emphasize the non-instrumental nature of friendship i.e. the art of guanxi exploits and manipulates 'real friendship'. Another practices, resolution questions the separability of affective and instrumental social action, and accepts the instrumental use of friendship as long as this is done in suitable accounts

are

of

ways, in accordance with It (etiquette or ritual). I will examine this issue in the section through a discussion of the boundaries between gifts and bribes, friends

next

and connections. Friends and As discussed

is

seen as

Connections,

Gifts and Bribes

above, Yang (1994; 111) found that in popular discourse friendship disinterested, less instrumental, and ethically purer than guanxi

'more

relationships'. I argue in contrast that by its very character, guanxi straddles the affective/instrumental divide, and arnongs its strengths is precisely the way in which it does this. Guanxi without the affective dimension of solidarity and trust would not

be

than

as

effective in

seeing personal

diminished

providing

the instrumental

relations

as

advantages

that it does. Rather

premodern social patterns which have been lesser extent by modernity and urban industrialization,

to a greater or the liberal theorists of the Scottish

Enlightenment argued that commercial society purified friendship 'by clearly distinguishing friendship from interest and founding friendship on sympathy and affection' ( Silver 1990 :1487). The development of

the market

was

thought to make possiole disinterested relations in domains falling newly distinguishable from the interplay

outside the market itself and 'therefore

of interest' (1484). In contexts where: 'Vital resources are not created and impersonally by markets and bureaucracies, one has no choice but to be, in Ferguson's disapproving phrase, "interested and sordid" in all interactions, because

distributed in such

settings

vital

resources are

obtained

largely through

what modern culture

and theory see as personal relations' (1484). The relevance to guanxi and China should be clear: movement toward 'market socialism' has not produced impersonal distribution of critical

application of rules. Instead, guanxi is critical negotiating murky things done. So is the fusion of affective and instrumental dimensions of personal relations found in guanxi simply a result of it being a premodern, premarket, form of social organization where the of separating out a disinterested form of friendship are not easily available? The dangers of an ethnocentric evolutionism in such a view should be clear. The Asian critique of Western capitalism is founded on the rejection of such assumptions of the need for strictly separated domains of economy, polity and society (domains which are, of course, only imperfectly separated in the Western nations). In considering the alleged opposition of interest and sentiment, we must consider questions of social exchange. This is particularly true for guanxi and friendship, since guanxi is commonly regarded as founded on a gift economy and Chinese friendships seem to be more involved with high levels of gift exchange compared resources

the

to

waters

and

of getting

conditions

with American friendship. Yan (1996 :14) concludes that gift giving plays a 'leading role in maintaining, reproducing and modifying personal relations', partly as a result of the way in which social structure in China 'rests largely on fluid, personon fixed social institutions'. Gift exchange

centered social networks, rather than helps to form guanxi, and sometimes

to

build such relations into intimate

exploited prior friendships. But connections

can

also be

and misused, and

to

the Chinese

economic reforms, guanxi operated in part as a 'second economy', as a substitute for the missing market mechanisms ( Gold 1985 ). The boundaries between

interested relations, relations, legitimate solidary but

economic

illegitimate

interested relations of

affective and

corruption, then,

social

all

come

and

into contact in the

realm of guanxi.

Clearly guanxi can be used for instrumental purposes, and this usage is by members. However, it is referred to as the art of guanxi, because the style of exchange is critical to its effectiveness. Although a relationship may be cultivated with instrumental goals foremost in mind, the forms must be followed if the goals are to be achieved. The relationship must be presented as primary and the exchanges, useful though they may be, treated as secondary. 8 If, instead, it becomes apparent that the relationship involves only material interest and is characterized by direct and immediate payment, the exchange is classified instead as one of bribery ( Yang 1989 :48).

recognized

instrumental (1984 Solinger considered before far go it interactions, business Chinese important influence Personal service, case something, buying connotation general because etiquette within transparently favour cash Giving hands.'" changed money no wrong: was "There cash. often people morality, anticapitalist indoctrination decades after socialist 'In money: with bribery equate tendency found just Cultivating bribery. interpreted can that practice isn't take Many expectation. common ), 1993 Smart China investors Kong Hong by legitimate main trustworthy It trust. degree also achieved, obligations advantages process, In :501). 1995 (Pieke continue expected relationships strengthen cultivate exchanges Instead, corrupt recognized otherwise might what disguise customary (1976 Lewis bribe. concept aspects informal both There officials. unconnected bribing relying strengthening activating connections, social rely strategy reliable more A investment. secure foundation inadequate them on reliance bribes, conceived are gifts understand goals, desired other profits gain tactic manipulative but nothing guanxi conclude we if However, purposes. extensively undertaken itclearly China, investment foreign used As aims. subordinating explicitly law, breaking in consist Impropriety gloss. adequate seems inducements' 'improper bribes conception context legal out Taken context'. according vary moreover, which, conventions cultural poised delicately arbitrarily upon depends "bribes" improper and "gifts" acceptable between difference 'the suggests guanxi feature distinctive The objectives. instrumental than priority attach forms existence by possible made only gift-exchange use Exploitative intent. fail transparency, very through manipulation, that so devalued, refused receiver, apparent becomes intent manipulative this exchange. than rather bribe a or deal different, content followed, appear may gift form though then means, useful a would relationship which for objective immediate some achieve simply but relationships, such create intended not is exchange an Where relationships. developing aim greater the to subordinated as presented be should purposes Instrumental effectiveness. its of usage basis :57) :197)

that it

genuine sentiment or ganqing and a series of techniques emphasize one dimension at the expense of the other is to miss the critical point about guanxi, both practically and academically, which is its ambiguous fusion of the two dimensions. The ambiguity of guanxi allows it to adapt to dramatically different types of situation, changing its features and practices, but without ever losing its importance. incorporates

both

for getting things done. To

Conclusion

surprising that guanxi has received more theoretical attention than in Chinese studies. By fusing interest and sentiment, and by acting as a nexus where political, economic and social relations come into a tight and often interface, the practice and discourse of guanxi occupy strategic terrain for of Chinese political economies, and people's responses to the discussion any dramatic social changes that have been a continual feature of the last century or 9 more of Chinese history. Friendship, by contrast, occupies a place ot much less contention, representing the secure support of close personal relations, becoming an issue of concern only when the security of such relations are threatened, for example by the imposition of an ethic of comradeship. It is when such relations are extended farther, and when they become tightly intertwined with instrumental ends, in other words It is not

friendship

contentious

guanxi, that the concerns of political regimes and popular discourse becomes more intense. But it is clear that there are no sharp and uncontested boundaries between

friendship

and guanxi, and that the practices and expectations of the two realms are connected rather than discontinuous. Friendship is a claim

of social interaction

that is made about certain types of guanxi, but that does that friend within a guanxi network. How does this conclusion relate based

to

the earlier

not

negate the

description

of the

position of varieties

sets of activities that are used in what Yan

guanxi networks. Whether

or not we

precapitalist societies could not separate

of

shared identities? The close connections

friendship-like relationships between guanxi practices and solidary personal relationships means that in cases friendships are formed by the continuation and intensification of the on

most same

(1996) calls the 'extended zone' of

accept the argument that friendships in out the domains of interest and affiliation,

it is clear that the boundaries between them

are

less clear-cut in Chinese than

Western societies. Furthermore, for the most part, Chinese people are more with the recognition that friends may receive instrumental utility as well as emotional satisfaction from their relationship, as long as the principles of reciprocity

comfortable and the non-subordination of the existence of close affective

linkages and friendships provides a

relationship to the utilities are maintained. The common practices between guanxi networks and variety of reasons why the contextual source of a

relationship (colleague, classmate, shared native place) would be of greater salience Furthermore, the formation of friendships and of guanxi more generally also share the interactional practices of asserting shared identities as an important early step. All of these practices are consistent than in Western idioms of interaction.

are structured on the basis of fluid, personcorporate groups or rugged individualism. in favoured gambling games like mah-johng, the contexts within which things occur, and

with arguments that Chinese societies centred networks rather than

on

Chinese culture, even consistent emphasis on

Throughout there is

a

providing information about such contexts is what relational do more effectively than dyadic terminology like 'friend'.

idioms like classmate

Notes 1 The are

specific question asked people with whom

the

1993 :91). The data

are

was

'Looking back

over

the last six months

you discussed matters important to drawn from the American General Social

—

you?' Survey

who

( Ruan and

a

Tianjin eighteen years of age. 2 Interestingly, Yang (1994:122) suggests that the 'tactical and instrumental dimension of guanxixue does not exist in ganqing', in strong contrast to Fried's survey of 1,011 urban

residents

over

interpretation that ganqing is an idiom opposed to friendship. In the period, ganqing seems to be applicable as a measure of the intimacy of all relationships while the contrast with friendship is more likely to be made by

contemporary reference to guanxi.

3 Yan (1996 :108) discusses the term tunqin. literally translating as village kin, although they are not real kin. They are fellow villagers with whom one has social intimacy and exchange relations not all villagers are tunqin. Thus, they village friends, but again it is a form of reference that emphasizes the shared —

are

the intimacy. Yan (108) found that most participants in tunqin, not kin, and argues that 'voluntarily constructed friendship and the tunqin relationship play a decisive role as important as the preordained kinship'.

locality

as

well

celebrations

4 Nor as

are

as

were

the relations discussed above the The

only

friendship-like. extremely example, could also be fruitfully

1997 :32), for

common use

ones

that could be treated

of fictive

kinship (see Kipnis permitted.

examined if space

5 It is undeniable that there is, and has been for a cynicism towards these universalistic ethics of

long time, a strong streak of comradeship. However, this

cynicism does not preclude acceptance of the ideals of sacrifice for the good and the desirability of a more equal and just society.

common

6 Here I

drawing on Cohen's (1986) insistence on the ambiguities of symbols resources. The ability to present a situation or action in completely different ways has been critical to daily life in China, particularly during the post-1978 reform era where practices have often been in advance of what is officially permitted. Space does not permit an adequate discussion of all the relational idioms that should be addressed here. Ganqing, renqing, mianzi (face), and yiqi (loyalty) are all terms that evaluate relationships which should be incorporated into this analysis. The following section draws substantially on the analysis in Smart (1993) but the argument is abbreviated. The point that in guanxi transactions are expressions 'of a longer-term commitment that transcends the specifics of one particular event' is also made by Pieke (1995 :501). The uncertainty of politics in China, particularly during the Cultural Revolution, provides an analogue to the insecurity and threatening situation that formed the context for instrumentally significant friendships in the account of medieval Iceland presented in this volume by Durrenberger and Palsson, am

and cultural

7

8

9

,

References Allan

Graham ( 1989 ),

,

Friendship: Developing

Boulder : Westview Press Baker

( 1979 ), Chinese Family and Kinship London : Macmillan Press Patricia D. ( 1995 ), The Chinese Construction of an American ', in Bruce Grindal and Frank Salamone (eds), Bridges to Humanity

Hugh D

,

Beaver,

Sociological Perspective

a

.

R

.

.

.

,

.

'

Anthropologist Prospect Heights

:

Waveland Press 23 36

,

-

,

.

Butterfield Fox ( 1982 ), China: Alive in the Bitter Sea Toronto : Bantam Books Chan Kwok Bun and Chiang Claire ( 1994 ), Stepping Out: The Making of Chinese .

,

,

,

,

Entrepreneurs New York : Prentice-Hall Cohen Anthony ( 1986 ) Symbolising Boundaries: Identity and Diversity .

,

,

Culture Manchester :

in British

University of Manchester Press Fardon Richard ( 1990 ), Localizing strategies: The Regionalization of Ethnographic Accounts ', in R Fardon (ed.), Localizing Strategies Edinburgh : Scottish .

,

'

,

.

,

Academic Press 1 36 —

,

.

Fried Morton (1969), Fabric published in 1953 ,

of Chinese Society

,

New York :

Working-class Lives

,

Ithaca : Cornell

Octagon

Books. First

.

Gates Hill ( 1987 ), Chinese ,

University Press

.

Interpretation Interactions

Kong Y. Ambrose King 75 657 104 Quarterly Revolution Cultural Since comradeship: After 1985 Thomas Gold Chee Tong Kiong 26 109 Today Being Meaning Changing Tree: Living (ed.). Wei-ming Tu Sociological Building: Network Kuan-hsi Pit Yong M. I. Lewis Duke Durham Village North a Subculture Self Sentiment, Guanxi: Producing B. Andrew Kipnis 96 75 49 British Xinyong Bases, Guanxi Danching Ruan Gruyter De Berlin Capitalism Chinese Spirit The Gordon Redding 518 494 37 History Society Studies Comparative Socialism Capital Growth The Money: Friends Bureaucracy, Frank Pieke Stanford Villages Two Community Kinship 1972 Burton Pasternak Contemporary Peasant State 1989 Jean Oi Penguin Harmondsworth Perspective Social 1997 08 388 3 8 Anthropology Cultural Capital', 's Bourdieu Reconsideration guanxi: Bribes Gifts, 1993 504 1474 6 95 American Sociology Modern Theory Eighteenth-century Society: Commercial Friendship 1990 Allan Silver 105 89 Affairs Australian Controls Workplace Interpersonal Market Representations Bullets: Sugar-coated Despotism Oriental Study Case A Economies: Divergent Relations Personal 1991 Alan Josephine Smart Routledge London Europe Eastern Transition Theorizing (eds), Adrian Pickles John in Regimes Property Transformation Economic 94 159 Berg Oxford Market the Meanings (ed.), Carrier S. Dorothy Solinger 29 103 Publishers Transaction Brunswick New Below From Transnationalism (eds) Guarnizo Luis Smith P Michael China Hong Between Identities Negotiated and Networks Social Transnational 1998 33 216 ): 2 15 Research Regional and Urban Journal International China Investment et Davis Deborah ',in Perspectives Historical Conclusion: (1995 David Strand Press California of :University Berkeley Socialism Under Business Chinese ), 1976 Kee James 1984 ' — ,— ,.', — —

Comparative Economy Gift 1989 M. Mayfair Yang Village Chinese a Networks Reciprocity Gifts: Flow Yunxiang Yan Stanford Taiwan Rural Family Women 1972 Margery Wolf Contemporaiy (eds), et Davis Deborah Movements Mass Associations Student 1995 Xinyong Liu N. Jeffrey Wasserstrom California Berkeley Authority Work Neo-traditionalism: Communist 1986 Andrew Walder 60 46 21 Quarterly Communist Relations Personal Change Comradeship: to Friendship From 1965 Ezra Vogel 37 311 ): 3 20 Human Progress Geography Economic the Refiguring 1996 Kris Olds and Nigel Thrift 94 362 Cambridge ,Cambridge Contemporary Spaces Urban (eds), al Press University Cornell Ithaca in Relationships Social of Art The Banquets: Favors Gifts, ), (1994 54 :25 31 History and Society ',Studies China in Power State .,','

— —

Auvergne Rural in Course Life the and Kinship Friendship, -8-

Deborah Reed-Danahay

nhether social maturity is defined by marriage, parenthood, or the assumption of occupational responsibilities, the period from nascent sexual maturation to the assumption of adult social roles appears everywhere to be the time during which non-familial gregariousness, particularly friendship, acquires greatest emotional urgency for the individual. Cora Du Bois, 'The Gratuitous Act',

Now

as

before, when their work

of having

a

good

was

completed, youth enjoyed a special privilege:

that

time.

Françoise Zonabend, La Memoire Longue. That there is

approaches

a

social terms, suggests that and

friendship in Europe and North America which or psychological processes, rather than in more middle-class notions of friendship as private, personal

vast literature on

it in terms of emotional

pertaining

to individual choice

( Lamont 1992 ; Moffatt 1989 ; Paine 1969; meaning of friendship

Varenne 1986 ) have affected research in this field. The social

requires

further attention by

anthropologists, particularly

in Euro-American

contexts where friendships involve culturally understood in middle-class terms to

are

dyadic,

intimate

of

nature. Several

relationships deeply personal ethnographic kinship and friendship relations in rural parts of Europe have described the ways in which friendship and sociability outside of the household vary over the life course, with significant differences for men and women ( Gilmore 1975 ; Kennedy 1986 ; Leyton 1974 ; Ott 1981 ; Uhl 1991 ; Weinburg 1975; Wylie 1974 ; Zonabend 1980 ). Friendship is generally reported in this literature to be heightened during the period of youth, and to decline after marriage especially for women. In proposing explanations for the differences in friendship patterns among men and women, and between youth and adults, most observers have adopted a compensatory view of friendship. This is illustrated in the quote at the beginning of this chapter by Framboise Zonabend, based upon her research in a French village in Burgundy. Youthful sociability, with its emotional rewards, is contrasted with the more gruelling demands of adult life and its accompanying a

observers of both

—

arguments Similar restrictions obligations Reed-Danahay Deborah specifically, more and, France central region Dore Monts in research ethnographic My failings stresses compensates friendship: made socialization, courtship, active an Lavialle Youthful youth. well adults consequences important they individuals, meanings significant may these while Isuggest chapter, this heightened. contexts, European rural other is, shows Lavialle, farming dairy Approaches Historical Ethnographic Course: Life the and Gender, Friendship, changes. adaptations new support provide age-mates change, community adaptation connected peer strength Moreover, ties. household across cutting adulthood, throughout persist bonds formation 1996 al el (Bukowski and children among of detailed )but 1956 (Eisenstadt noted long has nature exceptional situate attempt early An course. within friendships youthful place been also have There initiation. age-grading forms kin-based) (and institutionalized outside sociability study systematically anthropologists attempts about message overall The 'creativity'. 'intimacy' levels certain need human universal assumed development, individual psychological upon relied (1974:32). roles ascribed requirements by flattened entirely not personality ensuring held which approach psychological a adopted who Bois, Cora was course life context pivotal are youth relationships (chum) same-sex suggesting theories Sullivan's Stack Henry from drew individual, role compensatory plays force creative potentially friendship viewed roles. family kin shortcomings emotional burdens foil as operates or relationships people prepare helps Either kinship. field social to ancillary itsomehow self-worth concepts and adult capacity development husbandon emphasis less there Conversely, marriage. same-sex for opportunities sanctioned culturally few be would there suggested, she valued, is husband-wife high a where societies In adolescence. formed friendships after endurance with inversely vary would marriage in intimacy of degree the that posited further Bois Du individual. her little ). ideas

friendship counteract animosity here ideas Du reviewed adulthood. throughout persist extra-familial opportunities would intimacy, wife Auvergne Rural described Gilmore David individual. role plays position adopt large ethnographies European Europe. literature much typical approach outline because detail daughters. close form married, they close retain rarely that suggest however, does, He females. children among patterns address does his In (321). world untrustworthy basically good ultimate writes, highly Ties deepen. childhood formed bonds marriage, After courtship. instrument becomes youth bands pandilla through adolescence flourishes friendship males, For (1975:311). kinship Active patronage such dyads alternative lack by community atomistic classically alienation individual working Fuenmayor Andalusian has what separate, quite kept traditionally spheres society generally Europe Southern marriage. be will there valued, husband-wife where societies suggestion Bois' confirm Europe southern rural These approaches. present model compensatory However, friendships. 'veiled' 'hidden' point closely focus which (1986) Crete Robinette (1991) Andalusia Sarah studies countered of decline about Leyton observations ties. friendship compensatory without psychological suffer sisters, mothers with only social permitted who suggesting female adult dismisses similarly emphasis places that study Irish claims his basing Women ). 1983 Driessen 1985 Herzfeld 1975 (Gilmore sociability male dominated domain termed that, males. often observers outside evident less these although friendships, value cultivate also show, Kennedy societies, argues Uhl Similarly, marriages. their animosity for) compensates (or balances intimacy Kennedy, according and, view, public hidden remain marriage after friendships Female (1986:122). distrust paranoid by characterized is and between studied, she village Cretan have Andulasia in (1991:93). life family of tensions the from release for do needs emotional been (1974) I some not seen to town and Du in the nature or women. more The stress women, rare, an ;,on are same-sex to secret women a men as same

courtship description (1975) Laurence evident roles regard Peyrane, For Peyrane. town French southern adolescent contrast sharp a (103). good person duty moreover, is, It existence' one's happiest call Peyrane This them. thrust eventually responsibilities them, behind left young which discipline harsh free free, relatively marriage school between years ten five 'the explains youth. period carefree softened must realities adult, serious by expected transition Wylie according excess, reasons two There occur. generally marriages when nineteen, eighteen important network wide acquaintances sexual Second, seriousness. sobriety understand order excess experience considered it First, informants. research her on based Ott, Sandra declining youthful ot phenomenon report Europe regions other Two networks. reproduction contributing time same at while freedom relative through hardships compensated analysis, Wylie's In village. this typical unions Peyrane) (outside exogamous Elliot (1981:78). friend or akiskide someone classify will elders their not they, people; unmarried young, children association basis important friendship that observes region, Basque suggests class. consideration with nuances Wylie, Unlike males. particularly adolescence, compensatory as importance points Ireland, Northern study a have they life adult extra-familial form continue in men upper-class (99). leaked being danger continual secrets because groups kinship threatening however, tensions, produce Adolescent gossip. circulation enable conflict, generational mediate sexuality, discussions open arena permit They demands. stresses psychological structural social from youth male lower-class for relief provide adolescent Such (96). adolescence only occur intensity intimacy that writes Leyton Moreover, adulthood. in developed rarely new males, among especially persist, do adolescence during formed friendships While kin. agnatic often friends be to considered people many strong very are demands and kin studied, he village fishing the in apparent friendship view The ties. economic family of an upon based one is studies his harsh age (1974) need less above ,

statement viewpoint this summarizes :21) (1996 Krappman model. individualist (1993), Mitterauer Michael literature. much colours ties kinship failings emotional compensation emphasis beyond bonds adolescent understanding our expand Europe groups Historical for.' striving society given individuals desires aims values, realize try friends light: positive put To disorientation. from result problems counteract can 'friendship supporters typical whose Germany, in particularly Europe, Modern (Spinnstube) describes Hans charivari. French rituals through upholding its by censure socialization, peer courtship, contributed societies traditional Europe, overview comprehensive group has Zemon Natalie (336). control' social-moral violent rigorous together went popular serenity boisterousness, 'sensuality, so central been always other gossip disruptive, socially them suppress attempts despite that, shows Medick behaviours. with experimented partners marriage potential met bees spinning such was it for time, at culture sexual customs courtship linked were These (1984:317). neighbourhood played traditionally important shown have production. friendship role examines actor-oriented more a contribute want rather, friendship; irrelevant psychological dismiss intend 1do course. life over aspects social-structural on Ifocus Lavialle, analysis following In individual. stress above reviewed perspectives ethnographic contrast stark is sociability youthful meaning This order. disruption forms limited some control production, cultural involved are agents active as gregariousness, their youth, see historical These (1975:123). existing alternatives suggest worked also but order reinforced only not groups adopted form carnival the that concludes Davis marriages. inappropriate into entered had who couples chastised publicly charivari, Through France. modern early authority moral enforcement writings recent by approach my in influenced 1994 Mauger Wulff Amit-Talai studies youth field ). 1981 Willis 1991 Giddens 1980 Bourdieu agency social of theories and ); 1997 ;Hay 1995 (Griffiths friendship to approaches feminist his also age

especially tourism, limited supported always Puy-de-Dome, department French in Auvergne, region Monts Lavialle Case The Dore Mont le towns communities small However, region. seasons various at tourists skiing cross-country and hiking recently, More Bourboule. rural, its thing striking community. such one insular. culturally remained terrain, mountainous rugged by isolated region, houses rent bought newcomers composed group smaller A sawmill). at (such industry local trades artisanal living make natives either types. two farm do who Those farmers. children adult livelihood farming upon depend inhabitants Most residents. year-round 370 about population now commune throughout scattered villages so seventeen raising. sheep veal, beef, diversification farms, owned family-run based economy The fringe. suburban part become distance commuting within be Clermont-Ferrand, city, from far too It nature. track, native members inherited vacationers most families, ties outsiders bring homes summer some While France. relocation for locations desirable more existence France, regions happened non-kin, property selling much been viable still fact This Lavialle. rare extremely newcomers Such families. other ties kin through related community above described as Europe, Mediterranean settings rural found roles sex dichotomy public/private extreme same exhibit does unit. basic comprising children wife, husband, family nuclear model, stem closest household The farms. dairy operate own families connected structure social km-based largely a Lavialle inhabitants. current minds Lavialle, valued highly is intimacy wife Husband (1991) Uhl (1986) Kennedy (1975) Gilmore stay that farms many there but males, eldest favour tends Inheritance managing closely work couple she or he farm, control assumes child When farm. together on stayed have siblings unmarried there And so. done not has parent a when farms, grandparents' grandchildren where cases also are There in. marrying males line female sons with equally inherit daughters and siblings, their due estate of shares monetary the off pay to order in debt into arrangements. la goes these spa beaten . ,

paramount hardships, economic education, reproduction: process threatened always factors Several a). 1996 (Reed-Danahay elsewhere detail much shown goal, aimed strategies socialization families, these concern reproduction cultural The ensure dilemmas One families Lavialle's afloat. farms keep protection other subsidies through support state sufficient received farmers Union, European associated changes policy agricultural vagaries Despite life. allure fieldwork initial studied whom school-age cohort Among will one at sure making successful relatively remained farming entered have cousins siblings Moreover, continuing girls boys farm, on heir assuming household farm another marrying Either so. done now has fanner opportunity child each 1980s, early least at farming, in children why outsiders explain must find often adulthood. endure These sociability. institutionalized informal both there friendships, strength feature salient A interviewed was When now. this word add necessary be itmay friendship, arguments pursue order leave. want all amazement expressed Clermont-Ferrand, suburbs native herself reporter, woman (1996a), France Rural Identity and Education book about Montague, La Auvergne, newspaper main reporter by 1997 summer villages small lived cousins, own spoke remain encouraging itself a large Lavialle sociability forms ritualized youth strength the convinced increasingly become have them. with research my Idiscuss when French suburban urban from ]get reaction typical very is This village. dead-end viewed what escape would could, they soon as her told had who Clermont-Ferrand outside region plains Lavialle, reinforcing mutually kinship Friendship adulthood. into familial their continue and community in role active an play friendships Youth farm. desire family obligations beyond go attachments maintain incentives provide youth during encouraged are bonds peer strong stay people young encourage that ties enduring up set but come, hardships for compensation marriage, or adulthood to prelude a constitute simply not do They commune. the of life social region. local been She

yet commune. ends opposite in houses bought recently couples English retired time. arrived Laviallois, wariness caution deal great handled ties, people forains), (des Strangers passers-by. unknown newcomers, tourists, includes term catchall forains, called considered People definition by outsider, category opposition placed Both friend. rare age-mates natives other or distant chosen friends most Lavialle, strangers. dealing forms into investigations elucidated can occurrence, everyday than rather event, strangers whom groups cultural among Particularly consider. important equally friend However, kinship. preoccupation disciplinary our because binary friendship vs. kinship terms in think common is it anthropology, Kin and Neighbours, Friends, Strangers, there French, speak since that, complain trepidation newcomers these regard informants native but them, meet opportunity university regional professor college French include Other locals. much mingle couples, told been Ihhave themselves, keep They communication. basis family, outsiders traditional region. nor ties kin through connected neither are who decades, several living priest resident no there however, Now, priest. current located apartment an rent middle nearby from teachers Lavialle. live school primary and Lavialle, fieldwork during commonplace as seen come presence realizations first remember Lavialle. status marked have forain To farming. roots families members focused Lavialle general, In degree. significant any life social local participate do they but mairie), (le building hall town front afternoon fountain communal at forain. a be up car a when chatting with outside standing were neighbours Two clothes. my washing area parking around circled (outsiders 'them' to relation in 'us' one become Ihad that me for incident meaning But out. found never so off, drove eventually The here?' driving stranger this is 'Who rhetorically, asked, then women One wheel. behind person the recognize not did we since us, of each by scrutinized closely was It his ceased cafes cafe.

incident, passed have years Several community. face-to-face mostly this rarity shows incident strangers). during travel tourism increase experienced non-French). non-Auvergnat, (not 'foreigner' true outsider being only rarity initially was then. since increased in outsiders visit brief there returned When these. newcomers change clues countryside scour inhabitants Nevertheless, significant. numbers although through, pass visitors rare. relatively still unusual, less bit offorains presence makes that other each into ran we when me told age years many acquaintance male 1998, summer Imight thought he because parked car unfamiliar noticed had hamlet 1997 Mohl (cf. sightings or unfamiliar any track keep work networks gossip car. rental number license factors secrecy Privacy networks. kin encompassing widely relationships face-to-face world within embedded Lavialle Friendship established. first must intimacy non-displays) accurately, (or, displays selfhood concepts of topic approach order In Sociability and Friendship ties constellation cultural (1975) Gilmore by described openness Unlike Lavialle. counsel own their keeps who value highly more would people Andalusia, share families, dairy-farming whom most Laviallois, self about revelations caution stance describe my by used reserve) (literally, Pudeur others. to open 1988 Wita Le also cf. (1992; Clermont-Ferrand nearby informants upper-middle-class Lamont's Michele do as politesse formalities with preoccupations bourgeois families farm members among heard )not (French ami/amie term The French. connotation erotic an has France modern early friend meant often cousin indicates (1992) Kettering Sharon consideration. another friendship expressions Linguistic norm. intimates closest but all mistrust intimacy, degrees various determine contexts Situational acquaintances. casual strangers toward defendre) (se posture defensive wary a maintains time same at but airs), on putting (never modest and simple person social valued Lavialle, In ami/e word the all, First this. for offered be can that explanations several are There located. is Lavialle which in Dore Monts les of region mountainous his past ). decade

in might her another friendly a woman instance, For cousin. age-mate, neighbour, such labels Third, way. any explicitly need without name referred another, one type what aware live, region communities face-to-face mostly in Second, intentions amorous rarely however Adults camarade. males, particularly intimate, term Another adolescents. same-sex contexts, mixed-sex connotations sexual While friend). female copine friend) male (for copain terms common adolescents, mostly words, other two explanation fourth over. Maria La simply today, visit came neighbour) (our voisine la husband her speaking France rural feature salient identified (1972) Pierre adults. ness neighbourLavialle, opposite non-kinsmen. or kinsmen 'friend' Ireland, Northern shows (1974) Leyton friendship. vocabulary use they because friends do adults say mistake would It close. anyway most known clearly probably mark preferring ways, cousins choose pick ). 1997 Mohl (cf. term discussions he context, this se per refer not does Although kin. acknowledged kindred members identifying has friend cousin relationship phenomenon The translation). my (1972:1109; kin' people rich kin; poor people 'Poor capital: enhance can manipulation This others. than more cultivated be will ties some universe total that indicating 1975 ;Weinberg 1980 Rich 1969; (Paine others by noted been friendships express used idiom kinship A numerous. residents between kin potential high, endogamy local generations lived families so where Lavialle, In ties. view instrumental an implies it, describes Bourdieu as kindred, one's among aid support social activate to means cousiner act The links Affinal cousiner. case adulthood bonds dyadic close expressing idioms constitute also cousinship) with overlaps often which (neighbourliness, residence hamlet life middle-class live They mothers. forties, their married, both now years many for friends family, farming third same the into married who siblings women these Both ties. affinal by underpinned friendship Their commune. nearby Yolande and Lavialle is Colette families. fanning from originally are but Clermont-Ferrand, area metropolitan of degree high a have involved communes three his shared —

dances adolescents youth, during formed Relationships intermarriage. Marie-Paule friendship; considered would have clearly often each visit socialize but friend, cousin, woman this refers She Lavialle. next right third distant closest Marie-Paule's children. husband her lives another from farmer a married family farming a daughter Marie-Paule, involves friendship case Another well mention hesitate never youths), longer now irony some use term (copines friends explicit Colette Yolande marriage. reinforce communes, shaped ties relationships same-sex intimate develop show, cases these adults Many nephew. uncle relationship literally age, same approximately Although mothers. through related Marc, Jean-Jacques friends, close who men Two cousinage. called Bourdieu what practise cousin son headed usually (menages), nuclear composed can unit. kin an both which maison), (la household unit farms. families networks km within embedded deeply in Individuals Lavialle in Course Life the and Friendship kinship. context households ten than more no there Typically, commune. territory throughout scattered hamlets small into clustered Households rituals. cycle life active support economic for bases provide notres) (le kindred wider also It council. town mayor unit, hamlet. all serves that school primary own club youth hunting club, fishing such Lavialle, associations voluntary several school. middle nearby attend begin they when eleven, age up has commune whereby geographical important households, among those Besides numerous. club. old-age distinct quite perceived 'neighbourhoods' main gender course, also, There inhabitants. minds Catholic be themselves consider inhabitants most and France, regions other finds one behaviour religious tied closely as not father. their affiliation political with associated children however, time, Most groups. two between intermarriage deal great there but ties, kinship to connected are affiliations These split. political left/centre-right a by half almost divided commune The political. is Lavialle in divisions social major the of One distinctions. his any its three — -

heightened keeping raising profitable, busy People solidarity. families, among competition. economic rivalries, political organization, reinforce works restrictions heightened interaction. types various participation selective these perpetuate in adults active is It division. clear-cut this but commune) outside (located schools secondary Catholic children send apt politically right those general, In attendance. variation much albeit marriage primarily defined an become To family. prestige although females, patterns friendship differences implications life. stages evident divisions role sex gender time Adulthood women. case particularly This youth. unmarried from differently behave couple married A couple. assuming well child, birth Europe southern animals selling buying care cows, milking primarily attend whereby involves Work 1991 Uhl 1986 Kennedy during field milking. up cleaning help garden animals, young They labour. significantly participate also but shopping, cooking care, child duties domestic fields. except cafes 'public' females males segregation spatial is There it. about decisions making managing closely work wife husband Lavialle, farms On times. at and dances communal school meetings parent such contexts, public In towns. neighbouring shops enter rarely occasions special husbands company typical course throughout mobile spatially be tend men Lavialle, labour farm division sexual nature Given groups. mixed-sex together adult meals, because others serious less being as known (and cafe frequent who some there While neighbours. mates agehave not does not, do many has that culture cafe male same than restricted them. for isolation more leads which chores, household children tending home day the portions larger tend ). 1985 Herzfeld 1975 ;Gilmore 1983 (Driessen contexts European described of deal great a spend expected are however, women, nor men Neither visits. social limited through and days market shops, at night, Saturday or Sunday on church after see Lavialle in Women households. own their establish they once women other with socialize to opportunities fewer so), been scale hay-making —

meetings, grandparents, 1975 Weinberg also (cf. classards themselves refer same went People adolescence. upon based Adult hardworking appearing value strong since week, 'socializing' time socialized (cliques) bandes conscious Middle-aged mark ceremonial basis regular meet ), 1981 Ott dinners Communal peers. warm informal continue youths, dated having on count cannot hamlets, isolated Living parents. friends whose friendly be tend meals. festive dances, such gatherings parents accompany bands small will gosses, or gamins les families. socialize families occasions groups mixed-sex together tend Children household. cousins) uncles, aunts, (including family around focused young lives other). each understand we here; well along get (we ici' bien 'entend s 'on perception retain people this, rosy not are observations my trend. counteract persist formed friendships family, outside ties against work elections, particular surface which divisions, political fact Despite outings. weekend visits mutual network constitute kin closer affines, Cousins, socialize. youths former these opportunities provide associations voluntary various by sponsored centre community at have vieux) (les aged jeunes) (les youth is It classmates. among school out little there school, socialization peer Although non-kin. than rather visit, come cousins mostly it home, at children play do they siblings. from apart nearby, living age own their increasingly become has inhabitants retired association voluntary A attachments social form autonomy most raised daughter, His returned retired, When painter. house working Clermont-Ferrand life adult active all but baker, local son as childhood spent who man by headed currently Club) Third (literally, Age Troisieme du Club Called decades. two his maintained president The retirement. father's her before five about farmer married she when returning him preceded lived he years many during Laviallois other with friendship and kinship Political Lavialle. of residents older group gender mixed a socializing point focal a is club This birthdays. significant celebrate to Lavialle in hold mates agethat meals periodic the were this for vehicle important An often. visiting city, dances past playmates

held one month twice organized Meals youth. returned has group, this minimized years adults tension points rivalries left associated mostly (social friends ties personal close encouraged adolescence especially is It divisions. such overcomes kinship cohesiveness alongside political recognition symbolic it but equally business give only centre/right. youth: meet ties social outside three (lesjeunes) dances going together, communities different far-reaching most formal least bandes. cliques informal conscrits, les result Marriage boys. dating girls form will Lavialle, partners. marriage exchange communes involve They Lavialle. within hamlets communes, different same-sex formed friendships contexts, these homes. other's each parties small having region drink night out boys freedom much permitted Girls dating. sex exclusively based friendship camaraderie male-female degree high also there although groups, b), 1996 (Reed-Danahay ritual marriage in role important an play bandes mixed-sex These years. teen during good bed upon burst groom bride copains community rode, la ceremony, irreverant late-night, In serieux. settled become must participate can those newly-weds status changing mark marks jokes, scatological sexual both drinking involves which event, marriage. aspects negative positive comment youthful provide socialize may couple new that time fund-raisers, trips, organizes parents. yet not married well teenagers include whose association voluntary is Jeunes) des (L'Association Club unit. socio-political as commune closely more focused sociability youth contexts two The friends. way 'scandalous' highly a work moved have people young or from away school attending part take weekends return city divisions other kin, political, across cuts group This home. at who peers their with along activities club's in active are females males Both commune. and club, leadership Club. Youth the head former a instance, for is, Lavialle of mayor current The office. political local hold to on go often members helping dances. its cafe last intimates). —

Club Youth formality between Midway socialize bandes informality workings described year. funds raise events hold annual organize two teens late females Both conscrits. les each extremely period, throughout autonomy deal great permitted They festival. organizing together closely commune drive truck decorate hat, special a wear song, theme own adopt ritualized highly ). 1997 (Reed-Danahay elsewhere itfestival not Dating bandes, Participation boys. girls both camaraderie spirit cousins Therefore, with limited conscrits reside vacationers summer 'outsiders' participate, often aunts/uncles grandparents visit Clermont-Ferrand outskirts group, participate old be eager Young Lavialle. households across cross-cutting important form adulthood into persist group develop age-mates bonds The not. commune, outside ties friendships promoted may that lives in factors Two region particular it marks ritual vitality networks middle attended Lavialle's while Secondly, years. next out phased gradually being process farm), needs economic terms dispensation get could families their (unless eighteen away males took traditionally which service, military Mandatory importance. diminished recently paradoxically, have, resulted transportation recent decades, few arrived first when did they than time more even spending adolescents younger but so, or fifteen age from week boarders as still city lycbe a on go Those practice. elimination people young years, adolescent During Lavialle. course over vary patterns friendship suggested Ihave essay, In networks. kin through linked also are who local among ties continued the reinforce work likely most will changes These time. this during home at live them for to enough close is that school high agricultural attend youth farm many And 1980s. early in role active an play Lavialle community French rural and life social of persistence cultural its other. past Conclusions

Reproduction interconnections with associated adolescence during Heightened change. families adaptation tension ties rituals ),institutionalization cousinage process Through separate discretely Lavialle, In one. productive friendships; female male variations marriage; after persists extent issues such needed case The production. cultural forms active an enable groups which ways light shed was here intention My well. meanings important are there friendship, meaning perspective valuable provide relationship, social compensatory' viewing needs, emotional individual on focus studies While farm. family beyond go attachment concepts promote ties cross-cutting help adulthood persist friendships form Lavialle people Young system. handmaiden merely viewed must However, networks. kin perpetuate work notres) (les kindreds local courtship, sociability father, label 'locals' for uncommon all kinship. relationship used friendship Texas region friendship, express idiom use Laviallois above, discussed While, Worth. Forth Dallas suburbs in live who students neighbours among observed have what dissimilar not situation versa), vice (or role strong play to expect might one where France, rural from is my Although relationship. realms different, occupy than rather overlapping, highly be may shows research Furthermore, kin. strangers, friends, relationships at further look anthropologists suggests also It sociability. youth of importance relative dans Matrimoniales Strategies Les 1972 Pierre Bourdieu Routledge York New London Perspective Cross-Cultural A Cultures: Youth ), (1995 Helen Wulff Vered Amit-Talai References rethinking. some require contexts Euro-American in friendship and kinship between distinctions the about assumptions that suggest itdoes but here, phenomenon this address adequately Icannot friend'. 'best a as brother or 25 :1105 5 4 ',Annales de Systeme le mother, sister, .' ,— —

Ethnography Willard Hartrup Andrew Newcomb M. William Bokowski Minuit editions Les Pratique Sens Zemon Natalie Davis York New Cambridge Adolescence Childhood in Keep: They Henk Driessen France Early Misrule Reasons 56 Quarterly Anthropological Andalusia Masculinity Rituals Socialibility Male Study Comparative Introduction Act: Gratuitious Cora Bois Du 33 125 S. Eisenstadt Economic Newfoundland Selected Compact: Free Structure Groups Generation: to Generation From 1956 Anthony Giddens Glencoe (1975 David Gilmore Stanford Age Late Self Self-Identity: Modernity 1995 Vivienne Griffiths 24 311 4 14 Ethnology Society Atomistic an Integration Patterns Fuenmayor: V. Hay Avebury Brookfieid Aldershot Feminist A Friends: Their Adolescent Michael Herzfeld Open Buckingham 'Friendships Girls Ethnography An Keeps: She Company Drubjba, Amicitia, Lothar Krappman 58 139 ): 2 6 Histoiy France Modern Early Clientage Friendship Sharon Kettering Greece Rural Power Gender (ed.). JDubisch Perspective Psychological A Crete: on Friendships Women's 1986 Robinette Kennedy Princeton Village Mountain Cretan Identity Contest Manhood: of Poetics Ethnographique Approches Connue: Vue Ni 1988 Beatrix Wita Le The London Chicago Class Upper-Middle American French Manners: and Morals Money, ), 1992 Michele Lamont 40 19 1996 etal Bukowski Relationship Human a Diversity Cultural On Friendship: Freundschaft, Philia, (1974 Elliott l'Homme de Sciences des Maison La Paris Bourgeoisie Culture Kinship, Friendship, Nexus the Friends: Friends Irish Press :University Toronto No.3 Papers Economic and Social Newfoundland Friendship of Dimensions Selected Compact: The (ed.). Leyton ',E Aughnaboy in 1980 1983 1991 1997 1985 N. la Class 3 (ed.), Shin-ya, — — — ' .,',-

Interchange Perspectives Societes: Jeunesse 1994 Gerard Mauger Sexual Bees: Spinning Village 1984 Hans Colin Armand Allemagne en Recherche Medick H Germany1 Modern Early Youth Rural Among Time Schooling Politics France: Identity Education a), 1996 Deborah Reed-Danahay ). Leyton Reprinted 24 505 5 Man Class" "Middle Analysis Exploratory An Friendship: Search In (1969), Robert Paine York Shepherding Basque Mountains: Circle The Sandra Ott Press, Tuculanum Museum Copenhagen France Central Community Rural Communication Coexistence Voices: Perle Mohl Rutgers Brunswick New Culture College Jersey: New Age Coming 1989 Moffatt Blackwell Oxford Dunphy Graeme trans. Youth History A 1992 Michael Mitterauer Kinship Family Study on Essays Emotion: and Interest (eds), Sabean W 1991 Sarah Uhl 93 475 19 Ethnology Iceland Friendship Kinship W. George Rich 6 130 539 'Auvergne d Revue Puy-de-D6me\\ du Commune une dans Consents les Communale Fete La Passage: de Rite d'un Persistence 1997 61 750 4 98 Anthropologist Ritual Wedding French Inversion Taste Chocolate: Champagne b), Creating 1986 H. 105 190 18 Ethnologist American Andalusia Friendships Female Veils Friends: Forbidden 2 ',12 Social Reproduction from Different is Production 1981 Paul Willis California Berkeley Swiss a Adaptation Cultural Wisdom: ),Peasant 1975 Daniela Weinberg Nebraska of London and Lincoln America Symbolizing (ed.), Varenne the in 1974 Laurence Wylie 67 48 ): France de Universitaires Presses Paris Village au Histoires et Temps tongue: Memoire La ), (1980 Fran?oise Zonabend Press University :Harvard Cambridge edition, third la Free D H 3 Vaucluse — ' ' ', ,.,—

— 9—

Friends and Networks

Strategies

as

in North-East

Survival

Europe

Ray Abrahams

relatively loose sense to refer to participants in a range of significant, positive, and ideally longer-term personal connections. This is in contrast to more narrow usage which distinguishes a friend sharply from a mere 'acquaintance' as two poles of a continuum of intensity and mutual commitment. These connections are typically not based, at least directly, upon family and kinship ties or on sexual relations, though some degree of overlap is possible. In contrast with kinship and family links, they are achieved rather than simply ascribed, and the often proclaimed 'We are just good friends' clearly I use the term 'friends' here in

a

broad and

expresses the contrast with 'lovers'. term is in keeping with important aspects of reality. 'friends in need', and qualifiers such as 'close' or 'really suggest that 'true' friendship is an ideal less often achieved than some might

A broad

approach

to

Proverbial references

to

the

good', hope. There from the

is also commonly an element of rhetoric in the word's use, ranging formality of 'my learned' or 'my Honourable' friend to the everyday

embellishment of casual

relationships with its aura of significant attachment. Such variation in intensity and mutuality of personal commitment in different individual cases of 'friendship' may make it difficult to pin down, but it is nonetheless intrinsic to its 'achieved', and therefore developmental, quality and its combination of moral and organizational characteristics. As with other terms, too tight a definition can we come to deal with other cultural settings, even

run

into further difficulties when

though closely comparable forms

of tie

occur in a wide range of societies. A cursory review of work on African 'blood-brotherhood' reveals serious differences within that category, let alone

between it and

our

European

Finns, for example, do

concepts; and not all

European usage is the same. friendship quite as sharply as we friends' (ystävät, singular ystävä) may include

not mark off kinship and '

tend to do in Britain. For many, their 1 siblings and cousins as well as unrelated persons. At the same time, the term is used quite sparingly for a narrow range of close attachments, while another word, tuttava, which literally means 'acquaintance', seems to be less 'cold' and casual than its English counterpart, and can be used colloquially in many situations where

structures accompanying automatically that impression My 'friend'. use might speaker an Abrahams Ray thought friendship also, ideally least At friendship. nature egalitarian ideally opposed ties, latter mark inequality asymmetry turns contrast chief links. patron-client compared is Friendship 'acquaintances'. sõber) singular (sõbrad, proper distinguish times, at do Estonians this, Coupled choose. had one if better would 'friends' ears, English flat rather fall however, would, translation literal A 'acquaintances'). (literally connections without years fifteen sentenced be perpetrators punishment. capital replace crimes serious penalty harsher new a how tells paper, this matter subject relevant highly joke, this. suggests popular once version quality. salient comparable has tutvus term Estonian related have Here interesting. probably are two similarities some context, present In client. patron those instrumental overtly expressed anthropologists interest early settings. structural range wide participants resources valuable appear ties patron-client fact mind satisfy fail society structures where resource readily serve can similarly friendship, true broadly is same bureaucracy. opposites polar between in somewhere lie ties typologically since defensible, course, are, viewpoints Both kinship-like back harking saw 'modernity' impersonal with them contrasted (1977) Waterbury Gellner that however, work, Later forms. 'modern' towards move as seen such As ties. kinship stranglehold from ambitious, politically for especially escape, sort seemed way focused largely capitalism, free-market socialism state those including settings, different arise situations Such members. its them, by-pass times at institutions mainstream links establish individuals allows It these. bureaucracy patterns material both access provide helps appears otherwise world in comforts emotional tangible, rules Bureaucratic wished. many than limited more commonly was choice scarce, Goods society. Soviet features well-known relates earlier Iquoted joke The 1990s Early the in Estonia cold. intransigent impersonal, too circumstances varying the force planning state-socialist attempts to tempted constantly were collectives, local behalf often and behalf, own their on acting Individuals solve. not could they which problems created framework 'command' single a into localities of itall less needs 1960s ,

services, goods access gaming in circumventing ways seek Europe North-East Strategies Survival device survival important networks ties friendship useful development city both Estonia, encountered situation circumstances. countryside, transformations economic political those difficulties combined 1990s early least money offer, on now opportunities range wider goods More perestroika. glasnost policies scientist social European Western As place. taking changes adapted readily machinery bureaucratic sometimes scarce, -was exploitation purchase their needed currency hard failed, Britain authorities Soviet agency visa London attempts Persistent visa. re-entry multiple needed proper, research began when year, The public. open remain supplies adequate get itcould others, many like was, restaurant served food 'dacha', Party accommodation arranged queues, ferry circumvented collaborate) planning whom wife (the journalist television well-known kindness mediated Saaremaa island visit preliminary brief Thus, situations. some involved instructively myself found rapidly there communities rural time length over work first against managed, officer relations' 'international linked Academy division The obtain hoping Tallinn went visas, anxious doors, closed outside people queues There there. accompanied Embassy, Finnish at her appointment arrange colleague a from help managed father Her marriage. forthcoming her following immediately Finland go visa trying working academic daughter occasion, another On them. territory unknown relatively yet what into embark persuaded be so. do how sure were offices immigration visas, such issue possible technically it while explained She officials. relevant intervention me get his showed briefly who diplomat English request own Eventually, appointment. agreed an come had one know inside anyone let impossible seemed all that situation, flavour true portray order but sake, own my for not stress, also should society. Estonian observation' 'participant gained data genuine a form such as time, at prevailed which with well fit they because examples few these Iquote visa. granting subsequently, and, entry achieve enough surprising was in place took transactions comparable other general more patterns part formed They fees. or 'sweeteners' monetary any payment through than rather connections personal longer-term of development, the to contributed and context, face 1980s odds, — —

appliances. seem males, tourism, sex Also, decoration. repairs home return given favours sexual agents, paid visas' 'cash circulating Tales exist. also did another or sort 'favours' payment direct city, in especially that, say is 'survival'. individual resource understood vital suggested, were, reciprocity currency hard get keen women urban income source transformations hoped experiment one essentially research my of period countryside. data now turn Scene Rural The later discuss will I vodka half-litre ubiquitous 'payment', sorts separately also Idescribe, patterns from aside over existed But electrical various chocolate, coffee Finnish bananas, 'luxuries' time provided access imposed farms, areas. area, this changes envisage willing himself shown Gorbachev contexts, several As independent. became before years two 1989, threat under already 1940s, late interests vested some developments resisted meanwhile Others farming. living make try began number considerable them, offer appeared reforms such possibilities by excited initially least at families Many reform. agricultural land, property, legislation radical more variety by 1991—93, followed, This farms. state collective with footing equal an on alongside ones, creation farms family former restoration the encouraged explicitly law year. December Law Farm new passed Republic Socialist Estonian have appears acquaintances friends through help need development. agricultural option viable future' to 'back move a convinced farming, large-scale other supported others, while system Soviet took it forms but time, at society rural sectors important themselves range wide up building 'networkers', active particularly individuals certain role the was variation such feature key A ways. significant in varied involved patterns network and community, local own stretched which connections valuable highly developed had neighbours, their all not though most unlike individuals, Such connected. well less were who others between links for juncture points central as serving of reach easy reasonably within km.), sq. 45,000 (c. country small relatively a is that fact The itself. Estonia beyond cases many been —

maintenance development improvement significant period during Academy meeting leading arranged English, spoke family reputedly along help immediately developments, opportunity potentially developing acquiring University, Leningrad hospitalized briefly English by originally original marriage daughters, place bought region through forged farming, important hunting. opening advantage trips organized places. opportunities charge farm) job neighbours. might plan helping neighbours. equipment important, vitally variety acquire politics, unsuccessfully preclude completely including enough though relatively farming. living good making concentrating They

relations, facilitated Sweden, Finland countries rich location fieldwork choice later). (there research there situation feature frustrating were telephone poor shortages fuel collaborator chief Tallinn, individual. 'networked' stemmed official meet us second turned It farmer. Estonia's also another Union Farmers' Estonian interests about on stay invited offered new him, call shall M.S., man, country. South-East connections, array remarkable He forties. arose whenever links useful pattern broader formed invitation sailor, former A career. varied rather courses attended there. Scotland coast off overboard fell learn started officer cultural worked later Lithuanian, He Estonia. Paide home broke this but two sale, told relatives wife's when 1983, which house old home, their moved lived. now where Võru area Antsla from came wife present married own farmer link however, More boar wild country up take wanted who Finns accommodation coach whom businessman Finnish included These different many contacts other friends provided work, earlier job, The buildings. responsibility some with stores (collective Kolhoos local got had connections His his model serve it that so program, aid an part man This Union. Farmer's Swedish addition In his number himself farm used a enabled dabbled candidate as stood involvement such further not did While elections. free first in several encountered have me for Africa, eastern elsewhere, and Estonia in both them there rare, are M.S. like Men out a upon him Imet time at was he future, areas central the occupy to tend research. my of course 1991 heard though

stars, network local information exchanging addition ventures term longer one-off liaise willing talent, entrepreneurial energy share tended Such areas. distant more several way connected country. parts other individuals comparable often other, link these their facilitated importantly car part vital or fuel, machinery, Access them visit M.S. Iaccompanied 1992 August developments. new date up keep men contacts such beyond ways, grain-drying concerning went it. associated connection Swedish farm' 'school region. neighbouring difficulty apparently company A further. explore found only had earlier, about learnt had, loan. American-financed an subsidy aid government Finnish farmers cheaply selling market home loan Estonian sharing neighbours three himself farm own onto system Valgamaa elsewhere. what see wait year boat missed out, spring following needed swap. agreed immediately exchange. 3,000-litre offer tractor plough trying told visiting who young there, were we While him. repayment one spare hold get area former cattle water provide help summer dry because useful It time. weeks couple delivered meanwhile would tank The course. both openness combination valuable included These qualities. personal upon extent considerable turned it, reap benefits more still history, time, same At relations. reciprocal variety engage could whom friends acquire connections position good structurally him place helped clearly history career His account. into taken be factors number M.S., like understand trying In Poland. made brother-in-law his trading time this at value. added further produced vodka make use preferred but sell generally not did he though sugar, some have let willing The crop. grain his received which money with it contrasted and valuable, very now was the shortages, Because potatoes. consignment for return agency government a from sugar quantity large obtain managed had man This Estonia. central in friend farmer another on in call Tallinn to trip a of advantage took also M.S. month, that Later fields. ideas. its due it — -

new

people and

poured or

into any

to new

ideas,

undertaking,

driving long distances,

or

a

sharp intelligence, and

whether it

the hard

was

looking after

a

energy which he of dairy farming,

enormous

drudgery

demanding visitor such

as

myself.

The first of my several visits to his farm lasted two weeks. He collected me from Tallinn, at the other end of the country, and he drove me back there afterwards. He arranged for me to visit as many other new farmers as I could, and accompanied visits to them, serving as my first interpreter and field assistant. He also tried to make sure that I encountered as wide a spectrum of political opinion as me on

visits to collective and state farms whose managers were not developments. He also devoted as much time as he could,

possible, including enthusiastic about

new

farming activities, to answering questions and discussing the changing situation. During this visit he refused steadfastly to discuss the question of payment for his work, and for board and lodgings. At the end he agreed somewhat reluctantly to take what I could sensibly offer him from my funds, and

between these and his

he made it clear, in

a

way

reminiscent for

more

of 'traditional' African than

me

'modern' European stereotypes, that ties to people were more valuable than cash. 2 Not all such well-connected individuals had enjoyed M.S.'s varied career, and had made their were

own

graduates of

one

sort or

another

—

other routes. Some, for example, many were trained at the Agricultural

by

variety of technical institutions and had been posted under the Soviet system to workplaces all over the country. This again was an important source of later contacts both within the agricultural field and beyond into the world of business and bureaucracy. Summer student work camps appear to have been an important place for forging friendships. I was told that in the University

evenings

in Tartu

connections

significant

after

or

work,

at a

—

when groups of them would get

together for a song and for a they could safely voice their

found others with whom

drink, individuals gradually political ideas and doubts, and that such need

arose.

sought

lasting ties

could later be reactivated if a

Access to information and to each other's

and

such

provided through improvement of telephone

add, the for communication both

at

expertise

was

commonly

these and other contexts, I might services during the early 1990s was important

contacts. In

local and,

increasingly,

at

national and international

level. Before moving on to some other aspects of Estonian 'connections', three further points should briefly be discussed concerning the material so far presented. The first is that the

key

rural

figures

I have

pointed

to as

links within and between

local networks appear to be mainly if not always men. The urban situation is somewhat less clear-cut, and this probably reflects the fact that many ambitious and well-educated

relatively

few

women

women

who

leave the rural were

farming

areas

in their

for work in towns. I encountered own

right rather than

as

part of a

husband-wife team, and the majority of these were on the island of Saaremaa which has a stronger tradition than mainland Estonia of male labour migration

individuals married, themselves question most course, Of agriculture. involvement female independent relatively relatedly, and, fishing government, interests, farming some authority, positions few example, are, There between networks irrelevant husbands control under drudges Estonian impression general wrong be would :141—3), 1994 Kahk Abrahams (1994; elsewhere discussed time, child-rearing. linked wholly means by though partly sphere mobility especially play into come clearly factors other child-rearing involvement domestic greater enterprise, joint partners respected active also wives Many connected. well extremely are women Again, domination. male evidence labour division accepted part understood better cooking experience work years computer-literate, is wife valuable had area another figures central fellow one Similarly, latter. further important including brother, his sisters help variety wide addition, family. wife's from received he information arose Võru move M.S.'s how noted Ialready husbands. entrepreneurial by connection chains development exception interesting An them. towards role 'patronly' obviously more take than rather neighbours, terms equal relatively keep tended mam, in that, point second The father. her through links family Swedish Finnish has office, statistical urban local figure patriarchal himself present juncture, this least at scope, considerable man allow seemed conjunction This farm. authority position with up tied closely still world behalf others' own on access whose farm, transformation presiding who Estonia, south manor lords feudal ways many similarity pretensions socialist both reference combined neatly epithet an period, Soviet during barons' 'red as spoKen popularly were men accident no is it time same At community. focused farm state his members interests after looking beginnings preceded which serfdom system have seems Indeed century. nineteenth in individualism egalitarian ethic powerful behind lay largely that peasantry free a such reality mixed rather if ideals back harking localities. outside and within connections their of pattern the whatever not, or to aspired they whether contemporary for option ready a not was others itover lording general, In areas. rural here head been benignly -

but farm, helper resident up gave brother sister's do had time. length any farms labour paid attract difficult seem wealthier, itself showed way Another encapsulated attitudes terms explained He workers. good get hard it individuals explicit make Lastly, them. deterrent strong sulane', 'x's known soon would another's on regularly worked anyone grumpily, somewhat argued, imperialism. connection by people most tainted badly however egalitarianism, socialist ideals also doubt no master, own one's being contrast mainly flavour, pejorative acquired The period. after emerged richer working conditions harsh days feudal both evocations carries labourer farm a term This sulane. concept IEstonian kinds complements work generally tended These Farmers' organizations, formal belong useful found men fact from seen can discussing, elsewhere Gift the 'Spirit' The producers. serious be consider not did he whom 'hobby small-holders variety wide favour farmers active more down letting was old felt He Union. alternative farmers' 'production organization start tried eventually associates his himself M.S. system. kolhoos features better them to seemed what retention supported who those associations were there Farmers' well As do. cannot connections individual that ways interests others' or farmers' representing jointly coordinating mechanism provide clearly associations addition, In groups. such membership through connections personal important most their made have friends services return Europe, Union Soviet former phenomenon this account interesting an published has (1994) Hivon Myriam Estonia. common very countryside, Russian northern discussion some merits It here. briefly itonly with least At tracks. European Eastern well-worn follows Estonia in Vodka-giving thinking. wishful mutual dash perhaps ambiguity, uncertainty mixture by flavoured is vodka giving the itself, friendship cases many including reciprocity, forms other like Also, work. for payment commercial and 'friends' reciprocity direct between area border enlightening possibly occupies which behaviour of pattern a as context present been deal

recipient. by rendered variety return country town offering common research, time course, point key sense. good made 'currency' general form another sort payment own, reciprocate position services specialized recipient one, cases, most In over. turning required plot whose villager driver or collective countryside rather receive give both preferred often circumstances here, involved factors different number A arose. need when bottles stock they sure make tried salient One another. case individual perhaps historically, regionally, varied has influence their factor, cash. proposition attractive as proof inflation money, unlike period Soviet non-commercial symbolized story complex longer only evoke power vodka's from stemmed likely seems quality part question. birthdays weddings, including contexts, sociable many someone out Helping commercial. criminally clearly smacked equipment farm state collective use private money Receiving question. effect softening had cash, inedibility impersonality cold contrast marked conversion, further without directly consumed enjoyably could drink fact mere indeed quality, social warm This component. traditional essential an spirit like, gesture, itfriendly short In transaction. immediate beyond persisted preceded parties between concern mutual relationship implied illegality. gratitude kindness matter arguably help response vodka bottle small receiving least at that, emphasized perceptions with well fitted repairing, needed which attachment tractor a equipment. welding had young where village neighbouring farmhouse Iaccompanied occasion on Thus pattern. widespread example one but is accommodation my for pay trying difficulties of above account My way. comparable a in handled may transactions monetary even however, context, in add remains It resources. than valuable more people to ties useful conditions, prevailing hand. man's into it thrust simply cash some took M.S. done, job When waited. we while this prices. fixed have The delicate. quite were situations such explained home way say man wanted, much how him be would little, gave If know. not did moment. the at busy too was he that you tell and time, next helpful asked less end been On

Conclusion The role of connections between friends and other

well-disposed acquaintances which I have discussed in this paper clearly fits well within a social and economic system marked by a variety of scarcities which cannot satisfactorily be handled

through the of scarcity

—

at

medium of cash and the market. While I accept that such conditions of goods, services, and information were relatively harsh in Estonia

the time in

—

it would

question,

seem

naive

to assume

that

impersonal transactions

simply based upon a combination of bureaucracy and the shifting market of supply and demand can at any time provide an adequate solution to the problems faced by individuals as they try to organize their lives. Evidence ranging

equilibrium from the

longer term mutual trust of stockbrokers in major European capitals to villagers operating under better conditions of supply than those 3 in obtaining early 1990s Estonia appear to make this clear.

that of rural

I have discussed some such material in my earlier work on rural Finland (1991), and it may be useful here to give two or three examples from that work. Thus I have described how one farmer was asked to do some work for a retired neighbour,

and how the

neighbour

labour and made The

sure

paying well above a going rate for casual helper was extremely generously fed and watered. insisted on paying generously for petrol when he was

insisted upon

that the

neighbour also given by the same farmer. The latter wanted to refuse the money and the neighbour eventually banged the notes down on the table in mock anger and departed. In another case, two farmers who found it uneconomical to own individual combine harvesters, purchased one jointly. When I asked if they had a written same a

lift

setting out conditions of joint use, I was told that if such a contract were needed the arrangement would not work. Long-term acquaintance and mutual trust were the key ingredients. contract between them

These

are

but

a

few of many similar

examples

of

longer

term

collaboration

between individuals in the much 'softer' economic conditions of modern rural Finland. At the from

some

prevailing

same time there is evidence, both from my own experience and other sources, to suggest an interesting difference between the patterns in the two countries. Whereas the central position of a few particularly

active, well-connected individuals emerged as a major feature of the Estonian

scene,

this did not appear to mark the situation I observed in Finland where the pattern was much more one of a 'collection' of mutually valued dyads between

cooperating actively individuals. It is true that

some

individuals

were

involved in

more such links than others, but this did not imply, as in the Estonian case, that they formed an organizational point of focus for others within their neighbourhood and, with this, that they had more ties than others to comparable persons outside it. A recent article by Lonkila (1997) lends some support to this contrast, albeit in a Russian-Finnish urban context. It is based on a short comparative survey of

exchange behaviour, with regard to favours, goods, and information, of Petersburg and Helsinki. The Russian teachers engaged in more numerous and more diverse exchanges, both among themselves and with others, than their Finnish counterparts. They also made considerable use of so-called blat exchanges in which access to a variety of resources, often of a kind 'ideally' accessed via formal institutions, was obtained through informal links to well connected 'brokers', and in general their exchange relations were more often mediated through third persons. Comparable relations among Finns 'were of a more dyadic nature'. It is especially this point which appears significant in the present context, though the implied willingness and ability of Finns to satisfy more of their needs through more formal channels is also, of course, important. This said, it seems clear that there, as in Estonia, the fostering of good relations between individuals makes good practical sense in a variety of contexts. At the same time, it would not seem sensible to yield to the temptation to treat such ties as simply evidence of calculating economic rationality, though this is no doubt true in some cases. Ledeneva (1997 a:53) interestingly discusses this point. She suggests the idea of a 'calculative ethic' as an alternative way of handling the attitudes involved. Russians, she suggests, believe that one should help others, and that this will lead in due course, perhaps in indirect and unexpected ways, to receiving help from others oneself. Lonkila (1997) describes such attitudes in post-Soviet Russia patterns as 'inherited' from Soviet days and based on a continued informal

school teachers in St

lack of trust of official institutions, and this suggests

a

partially

emotional

attachment longer repertoire recognition to them as

of their

part of

a

4

term

cultural

as

well

as a

persistent value. More generally, as with a language one speaks fluently, people anywhere who participate in these kinds of personalized relations are liable to get caught up in them to some degree. Indeed they arguably have to do so in order successfully to generate the necessary patterns of behaviour with a suitable degree of spontaneity. Such relations involve an expectation of at least some trust and mutual commitment which, while no doubt tempered by convenience, are commonly real enough. It is this quality, or at least its symbolic assertion, which ultimately marks the spectrum of relations between the deepest forms of friendship at one end and border cases of vodka-giving, blat, and 'over the odds' payments at the other. It is also, I consider, arguable that, notwithstanding a considerable degree of cultural and historical variation, we are dealing here with a quite fundamental element in the toolkit of survival with which human nature is endowed.

Notes 1

In

of

study

a

Leyton (1974)

English-speaking village in Northern Ireland, with standard English patterns. There used locally especially to refer to close kin, while 'mates'

friendship notes

the word 'friend' is or

'chums'

in

an

sharper

a

contrast

common terms

are more

for non-kin friends.

2 The traditional patterns I refer to, in which the maintenance of

good

relations

between persons is a high priority, are well documented both for African and other so-called 'simpler' societies. For discussions of different aspects of this in Africa cf. Abrahams (1965) Beattie (1963 Chapter 6), and Wilson (1951). 3 Cf. Cohen (1974 :98-102) for a discussion of informal co-operation and mutual ,

,

trust among stockbrokers and others in the 4 For further discussion of this

phenomenon

City of London.

see

also Ledeneva (1997b and 1998).

References '

Abrahams R. ( 1965 ), Neighbourhood Organization; A the Northern Nyamwezi ', Africa XXXV, 168 86 ,

Major Sub-system among

—

.

,

of their Own: Family Farming in Eastern Finland Cambridge Cambridge University Press ( 1994 ), Women and Rural Development in Contemporary Estonia ', Rural

—

( 1991 ),

A

Place

,

:

.

'

—

History 5 ,

2 : 217 26 —

,

.

Abrahams R. and Kahk J. ( 1994 ), Barons and Farmers: Continuity and in Rural Estonia (1816-1994) ed. R. Abrahams Gothenburg : Inter

Transformation ,

,

,

,

European Research Program, University of Gothenburg Beattie J. ( 1963 ), Bunyoro New York : Holt, Rinehart, Winston Cohen A. ( 1974 ), Two Dimensional Man London : Routledge and Kegan Paul Evans-Pritchard E. E. ( 1933 ), Zande Blood Brotherhood ', Africa VI, 4 369 .

,

.

,

,

.

,

'

,

401

—

,

,

.

Gellner E. and ,

Duckworth

Waterbury

,

J. (eds) ( 1977 ), Patrons and Clients

,

London :

.

'

Hivon M. ( 1994 ), Vodka, the 17 3 1 18 ,

of

"Spirit

Exchange" ', Cambridge Anthropology

,

-

,

.

,

'

Jaakkola M. and Karisto A. ( 1976 ), Friendship Networks in the Scandinavian Countries ', Research Reports No. 11, Helsinki : Research Group for Comparative ,

,

,

Sociology, University

of Helsinki

.

'

Ledeneva A. ( 1997 a), Between Gift and Commodity: the Phenomenon of Blat ', Cambridge Anthropology 19 3 43 66 ,

—

,

,

,

.

Dimensions — 1998 70 152 2 1997 Welt Soziale Russia Exchange Practices b), Aughnadoy Class Kinship Friendship, Nexus The 'Friends': Friends Irish 1974 E. Cambridge Informal and Networking Blat, Favours: of Economy Russia's Lonkila Toronto 3 No. Papers, Economic Social Newfoundland Friendship of Selected Compact: The (ed.), Leyton Press University Oxford and Institute African :International London Company Good (1951 M. Wilson Online Research ',Sociological Perspective Comparative A Russia: Post-Soviet in relations Exchange Informal ), E '.,— -

— 10 —

Localized Kin and Globalized Friends: Religious Modernity and the 'Educated Self' in East Africa Mario I.

Kinship

relations have been

over

Aguilar

stressed in the

anthropology

of Africa. To judge

African societies, it would be possible to 'existed' within organized or segmentary for such research paradigms are clear.

from the bulk of the data available

suggest that friendship as such has

on

never

organizations. The reasons have traditionally based their writings on periods of fieldwork, during which they have tried to understand societal organization. To that effect, kinship relations have in many cases given clues to the analysis of societies, based on our participant observation, as African individuals themselves have represented their lives through the idiom of kinship rather than friendship. One of the exceptions found within the anthropological literature is that of the Nyakyusa (Tanzania). For them, and within the extraordinary setting of agevillages, ukwangala (the enjoyment of good company) becomes a central cultural social

Anthropologists

value that is extended to 'the mutual aid and

sympathy which spring from personal

personal friendship is also described by Gulliver, who describes at length the co-operation between two second cousins amongst the Ndendeuli (Tanzania). Potential competition between Ali and Konga was minimized by their somewhat distant kinship relations, and over the years they maintained a continuous relationship based on close friendship ( Gulliver 1971 :116—17). Gulliver was prompted to investigate further cases of friendship, finally to realize that friendship was indeed difficult to study, because it was hard friendship' ( Wilson

1951 :66). Such

to define the distinction between 'friend' and 'visitor'

(301).

of the literature, one could argue that relations of friendship have been present in the expressive parameters of anthropologists and their informants, and within their daily relationships with their close field-assistants.

Through

a

review

gratitude to Paul Baxter, who during one of my Visits to his home in May 1998 possible meanings of friendship within Boorana. Subsequently, and with his usual enthusiasm, he copied for me entries from his unique collection of Boorana (Oromo) dictionaries to aid my research and understanding of pastoral societies. Paul, nagaat! My pointed

thanks and me

to

the

friendship contextually experience has representation whole A friendship. established orderly, themselves authors Yet Aguilar I. Mario resources sharing expressed more considerably dwelt have monographs those forward put Arguments studies detected tool analytical an omission general Same The distorted. argue, could one sometimes, explored, been not sense there However, manner. non-structured conditions any on than herds management suggested elsewhere, (1996) substance spiritual and/or bodily shared from deriving relatedness notion 'a Holy Kinship, particular. pastoralism societies African understanding our crucial Such kinship. comprised those there anthropology, kinship study areas; grazing outside friends communication husbandry; animal household realm friendship; perception multi-vocal for order in explored will three Boorana, ethnography Using pastoralism. contemporary construction ideological complementary friendship, kinship, suggesting by understood only can mediation (education). continuity (modernity) diversification (traditions), memories between encounter present experiences different mediated nevertheless are they exist, do notions while that argue societies. particularly Africa, East context notion, specific concerned am chapter this Thus, society. particular a friendships including relations, individual by complemented itneeds however, concerns; anthropological central remains (171) transmission' participation through non-pastoralists acquired express relations friendship spheres three These mosques. churches to attached communities life localized it, contains state system cultural centralized residence, areas geographical their beyond within pastoralists between interaction constant Europe such Western predominant mostly individualism, self-conscious relations with equated be cannot constructed, culturally is process human a argue them. contain social and classification symbolic of systems globalized other any as friendship suggests that assumption methodological the Ifollow societies, pastoral within 'friendship' assessing in Therefore, States. United Holy its

emphasized collaborators' varies, groups societies importance argue also social. being ways influenced manifestations its universal, human termed itcould encounter initial of surface constructed, culturally phenomenon social Friends Globalized and Kin Localized person value personal enhances acquired, when become therefore has known interaction Social none. them, lots friends, described individuals society. perceived doubt no There Friendship Categories Particular and Universal value. commodity model liberal a conform necessarily 'friends' related issues personhood, relation given that, reality ethnographic common. more relationships close indications common, society within accounts while Therefore, personhood. American European creation for implications direct but assistants, or informants, are those anthropologist, view point From writing. self-indulgent personalized climate current acknowledgements, monographs' our component important an remained project, anthropological useful based 'ongoing his States', United advice their 'for others those thanks Fie others. some Kenya]', [northern Ariaal family 'friends Kenya', assistants 'field between distinction makes (correctly) Elliot pastoralism, on work recent example, For friends. labelled but study they only not companions, friends found have anthropologists seems It :viii). Spencer elders Chamus support acknowledges who Spencer, Paul well acknowledged different collaboration companionship Thus, :xv). 1998 Fratkin shown conviviality, over precedence takes finally terminology kinship However, assistants. Sudanese one case al. et (Manger themselves people by adopted' 'virtually was Sudan Hadendowa team research Norwegian fieldwork If researcher. authority gives that asset valuable as certainly 'Other' by :17). which in ethnocentricity, Western understood be cannot pastoralists among Friendship them. from myself disassociate wish Iwould otherness, conceptions anthropological reiterate adoption parameters Those authority. ethnographic convey acceptance localized and friendship scholarship, promising of sign a is field the to attachment researcher's does 1996 been US

understood from the point of view of all powerful, self-centred continually been asked: 'Did you have many friends when you lived with the Boorana?' My answer has been: 'Not really. I lived there, I was part

friendship

is

individuals. I have

of their

daily life,

and I liked their way of life; however my friends lived in Nairobi.'

orderly and localized segment of Boorana obligations within fictitious conceptions of kinship, society rights within symbolic constructions of ritual membership and within semi-colonial relations of power whereby I was white and presumed to have some spheres of I was, as

a

fieldworker, located within

where I had

an

and

influence outside Garba Tulla District. It is clear that the whole

friends could be to

related to

area

anthropologists

and their

(pastoral)

That is not my task in this chapter; however, I needed make clear that social relatedness does not equal friendship and that friendship,

explored.

universally understood in the same way. I am aware that most of the Boorana I know would only talk about friends in the context of outsiders, and particularly when using other media of communication, such as Swahili or English (see letters in this chapter). I will focus primarily on the ways that people within pastoral societies construct and develop social relations of friendship. I contest any parameter of complete opposition between kin and friends, and instead I explore their complementarity within the ethnographic context of East African pastoralism. 1 However, I will also assume that while kinship and friendship constitute complementary social as a

human

experience and

categories, they monothetic

are

as a

practice,

nevertheless

is not

culturally distinct. Thus,

in my

opinion, while

of later redefinition and

categories problems possibly misperceptions, any idea of a 'polythetic definition' with a certain number of possible features or characteristics pertaining to such phenomena ( Barnard and can

create

Good 1994 ; cf. Holy 1996 :169) can create confusion from the start, and are not terribly helpful in the understanding of fluid social relations within a qualitative model of social

interpretation. exploring some culturally localized conceptions of friendship, I will explore the expansion of the pastoralist world into other landscapes, such as urban and educational centres, and the symbolic and classificatory systems of other globalized traditions. From such an expansionist perspective, it can be argued that two particular phenomena have provided elements of rapid change in relation to the pastoralist conception of kin and friends: (a) the conversion or exposure to Christianity or Islam; and (b) the wider involvement of children from that world of pastoralism in a contemporary Western system of education. Thus, pastoralists have provided continuity through memorials and the symbolic imagination (Aguilar 1999 ) but have also diversified in economic terms ( Hogg 1981 ). Such diversification of their way of life has opened avenues for more fluid social categorizations, a departure from the pre-colonial dichotomy between kin and strangers. Conversion to Christianity or Islam has also provided other kin and After

administrative functioning has origin localities kin away children schooling while friends, have parameters world, literary office post system communication communities school landscapes those Within friends. categories By Imagination Bounded the and Pastoralism, Colonialism, period. associated expressions culturally those than indeed very explored, herds. along movement control trying Africa, residency moments nightmarish faced officers ).Thus, 1979 Turton Fukui see example, (for warfare ethnic endemic if sporadic 'proper' ignorance movement, constant owing problems administrative presented Pastoralists 'invented'. tribes understood created boundaries geographical Political Britain. colonized explored been already had Africa East most War, World First they because British peoples other from different They other. each attacking always tough, unfriendly, perceived Pastoralists permission. without territory leave not could within, animals people with territory, bounded Kenya, (NFD) District Frontier Northern creation was ordering example territories dry herds moving 1978 Almagor Baxter age stratified societies period During :88). 1998 Fratkin society' character much determines one complex a livestock relationship 'the so goats), sheep, camels, (cattle, herds centrality relation organized all are daily classification symbolic life, whole because societal kind distinctive a do, still provided, pastoralists clear is It grazing. water among instance organization, political co-operation societal responses quick organize central them, some within institutions on focused anthropologists ordering, colonial context a In by affiliations primary secondary therefore were friendship Relations 1956 pastoralism studies part became systems, such for explanations emic provided systems classificatory Symbolic ). 1940 (Evans-Pritchard cattle resources allocation use well as marriage and kinship conceptions their studying by groups pastoral localized organization social actual life. way pastoralist of continuity the secure to order in together age-sets or clans brought that obligations ritual also search end One ), Boorana. kept

However, within those ethnographic studies, and the larger Ethnographic Survey of Africa, 2

anthropologists such as P.H. Gulliver noticed that there were other social directly linked to those of kin. In the case of Jie and Turkana, bondfriends (lopai [Jie], lopei [Turkana]) represented stock-associates, not related by kinship, but capable of conferring reciprocal stock rights with an element of 'pseudo-kinship'. Those bond-friends existed as a result of mutual convenience and trust, allowing links of reciprocity, outside kin relations and obligations

ties, not

( Gulliver 1955 :209-10). It is in connection to social reciprocity that relations of friendship within pastoralism need to be widely understood. In these very localized contexts all social relations

publicly expressed by economic or ritual exchange; however, conviviality and sociability create situations where individuals and groups prefer the companionship of some rather than others, within the limited flexibility of kin relations and social expectations. Thus, I once again stress the fact that Western parameters of friendship do not necessarily fit the cultural sense of pastoral societies. A person needs to be kin, or be in some kind of specified social relation, otherwise he will be considered a stranger and therefore a potential enemy. Categories of kin and friend in such localized pastoral worlds are inter-related because friendship as a way of ritual or economic relatedness creates an extension of the biological or classificatory relations portrayed through social structures of kinship. In the

are

of the semi-nomadic

Kenya and Ethiopia, the importance of affines (soda) has been an important parameter of social As part of a larger ethnic group (the Oromo) the Boorana ideological case

pastoralist

Boorana of

classification. foundation of 'sameness' arises

out

of the

centrality of gada,

a

ritual and

political

age-system that, in the past, organized and indeed made publicly clear and orderly all social relations. However, and as suggested by Paul Baxter, 'many, probably most, Oromo have no personal experience of gada, but every Oromo child will have attended many marriages and is constantly made aware, by the respect that affines must be accorded during their constant comings and goings, that it has a group of classificatory affines' (1996:179). Boorana, friends are known as jaala, hariya. fira. However, as in the case of lira, friendship implies a relationship of mutual assistance, whereby 'you help me I help you' ( Leus 1995 :298). Within those larger and habitual cultural

large

In

.

.

.

parameters of social classification, friendship is allotted people of the a

term

to

same

sex, who cannot be covered by the language of kin relations and kin allocation. Therefore, males do not talk about female friends, because the word for a female

friend would be jaalto,

a

term

used

to

signify a lover or a mistress ( Leus

1995 :471).

Within the Boorana Gutu (the Boorana 'proper') there are ways of identifying social and kin relations. After initial greetings, Boorana request moiety

identification. possible only There

are two

responses

as

there

are

two moieties: Ghona and

economic boundaries, sisters, brothers considered given ascribe All Sabbo. she all 'after expression language, sister his female referring kept assistant field male My conversation. languages English Swahili using arise confusion immediate Thus, relations. self-ascribed brother why explain could parents biological sets different had Knowing house. my at present were Europeans friend' your men culturally is so, Even relationship. incestuous imply term this since 'friends' being them Irefer conversing that, meant marry not could moiety belonged both that fact age same women small, relatively numbers exclusion, kind any create inconceivable is it Within others. exclusion time people three two by expressed portray understand impossible itwould setting such In friends. themselves therefore company, others' each enjoy rank, managing demands daily dependent socially kin, villages isolation away nights days spend does closeness A another. niche ecological one from herds moving while places rough in sleeping eating animals, looking together, through relationship particular develop shepherds example, Boorana, reside. families settlements herders life fundamental certainly those relations, consolidated be friendship for however, ways There resources. natural managed communally We :86—94). 1988 Spencer independence separation togetherness express villages, kin outside moran unmarried when Maasai, case leave schools, secondary attending those particularly them, some phenomenon, new constitute societies pastoral children The Friendship Expansion Post-Colonial The bought. have they goats or cattle after look relatives where 'home', resources cash extra their send but else, somewhere work live can who pastoralists, by reconstituted always are boundaries geographical ), 1999 (Aguilar construction boundary process imaginative ideology cultural a implies pastoralism because words, other In temporalities. mixed reality globalized living communities creation social ongoing an part and post-coloniality of climate a within local beyond existing as world pastoralist the consider to need share sister. all also

parent's places of residence in order to attend boarding schools somewhere else. secondary schools do exist within pastoralist areas, the educational policy of the government of Kenya ensures that secondary school students attend school outside their immediate locality. Sponsorship for school fees is much sought after and those pastoralists who have access to some cash invest, with great sacrifice, in education for their children. They do so knowing that in the future they and their children will have better opportunities for jobs, and particularly for developing networks and relations of exchange within the post-colonial market economies of While

East Africa. While youngsters pursue education outside their rural areas, they remain influenced by a pastoralist ideology that allows them to perceive themselves as

pastoralists within other geographical areas. They miss weddings and funerals, births and naming ceremonies; however, they avidly keep themselves up to date on the expansion of their kin relations. They keep in touch by post and when pastoralists know that a vehicle is leaving their area of residence literally hundreds of letters are prepared and commended to drivers and passengers. Letters as vehicles of communication also constitute vehicles of cultural signification, as the absence of them is perceived as severing ties, and becoming part of some other community. In the case of those young pastoralists attending schools outside their parents' places, letters become the only vehicle of constant communication with friends, that is with youngsters of other Kenyan ethnic groups whom they encounter within their

places

of education.

by an individual but they usually convey news and thoughts people, for example a family or a household. In a locality such as Garba Tulla where only a minority of the population can write fluently, secondary school students are encouraged to write what others, particularly their extended family, tell them. The following letters were produced by a female Boorana, who at the time of writing was a secondary school student at Igoji, near Meru. Boorana letters do not carry the same degree of privacy and confidentiality that we assume in Europe. They were part of public knowledge and some of them 3 were read by most youngsters in the area. The letters were written by Fatuma to particular people; however, they had been read by several people after their arrival, either at the school, or at different locations in Garba Tulla. They constitute ethnographic data regarding perceptions, old and new, on kin and friends within a pastoral context. Letters

that relate

are

written

to

several

study inspiration happiness, Sponsor, (Meru) High Igoji Sponsor happen goats something family help through hungry good. things fine, night. hard, father, posho, schools, manyatta companions However, family, Kenya parts myself, girls particularly country, people live, day again. Somali, quarrel [bandits] animals, work, stopped lorry, home leaving hardships Sakuye, sisters, sister, only school, kept hope Hadija, April Isiolo) (via Development US the from Sponsored Also Was and Died, Later Who Mate, School Letter daughter, loving family. May mother, My town) [the happy people, lots lots, however, studies on goes Life success! lots March 3 School make new extra, had come, rain too Back too. students The been lost Since well. small eats mother future. gone also home back while my friends many friends. become as write from other meet like would animals. our where see will itone take come shifta then Boorana. for easy never life Kinna came here! fine home. think go to hard is It outside. school the shared have we because or Boorana even all We friend. but not are You cold. away, far so in well has God that Dear 1988 11 12 Box P.O. Office a to Hassan Fatuma Your your you bless Allah them! miss brothers and father distance. a at Tulla Garba hills Milimani saw when very Iwas however of were There relatives. with tea some had .

came to the Mission this morning to see the Sisters, and to see if there was from anything my sponsors in America. sister is My getting married and it will be a big wedding in the manyatta [Boorana will help build her own manyatta and we will sing love songs. I wish I We settlement]. are

fine. I

married and settled with my own, rather than going to school. I have had lots of milk, delicious (dansa gudo!!!), rather than the maize and beans of the school. were

My rafiki, I miss you!, but we will goats, and books, and ornaments. God bless you

always,

see

and give you

a

you

good

Bring things

soon.

husband

in

from Nairobi,

bring

the future!

Fatuma

Letter

to

Her

Younger Sister

Igoji High School Igoji (Meru)

P.O. Box

21 October 1987 Dear Sista, I hope you are well, and enjoying your schooling! Father ordered I just came back to school.

I spent

two

weeks

the Headmaster. It

in

was

Garba, as we

dry,

Mother is well, however has had about

us.

were

and animals

me

to write to you, as

all sent home for

having rioted, according to suffering. However, no shifta in sight.

were

malaria recently. She is well, and just worried good for us to marry and to be able to settle down.

some

She feels that it would be

as you know education is important, and Boorana friends at the school are like brothers and sisters, they speak the same language, and they know the same traditions.

However,

I hope you have many friends at your school. I feel that I miss my brothers and sisters from Garba, but at the same time I have other friends, Kenyans like myself. I would like to visit their homes seems

some

day,

and

to think that the world is made of kin

many friends in this world. Write back soon! Till we meet

in

Garba

see

how other

[sodda],

again,

4

peoples

live. My mother

while I would like to have many,

love from all of us.

Fatuma

This

sample of relevant letters expresses a changing spatial and cultural reality. pastoralists live within arid areas but their pastoral heritage and their pastoral ideology remain central for their own construction of the world around them. Thus, letters written in the English language provide particular means of communication rather than an alteration of cultural parameters. It is through those letters that Boorana remain in touch with their own world, geographically isolated, and at the same time they expand their world of relations and of friends, by being in touch Not all

with other non-Boorana youngsters. Two related but different sets of social clues

spoken and for the written. friendship are used, while in

used for the

are

of kinship and

In conversation Boorana perceptions written letters English parameters of

5 social interaction, and even Swahili words such as rafiki, are also used. While the spoken reflects a spatial delimitation of culture, the written relates them to other

Kenya, in Europe, or even in the United States. experience of schooling itself provides contact with other youngsters who are not related by cultural constructions of kinship or classificatory issues of moiety locations in The

construction, and therefore

can

be labelled

as

friends. Moreover, because those a lingua franca such

'friends' have related themselves with Boorana youngsters via as

Swahili

practice

or

English,

communication with them remains within the

of that cultural mediation associated with those inter-ethnic

However, those young people seeking education outside their within the Boorana communities of Eastern

areas

use

and

languages.

constitute

a

and

they represent Kenya, strategies (Aguilar 1998a). For them, enemies as such do not exist. Not having experienced warfare with neighbours, they classify their own world as between Boorana kin and Kenyan (or European) friends. I argue that schooling and education have provided the possibility of developing conceptions of friendship within pastoralists. Friendship categories are closer to the experience of the European colonizers (and African neo-colonizers) and their minority

the diversification of pastoralist

social systems rather than to those cultural parameters associated with Boorana kinship. Thus, letters as a vehicle of communication express a certain change in

pastoralist society. Letters also express the possibility of a communal and universal way of communication, not used primarily between Boorana kin. National of sameness that have been built by using Western education and Western

parameters social parameters

as

cultural foundations have therefore

complemented the kinship

relations. The

Symbolic

Construction

of

Friendship

Such social processes have also been bridged and re-ordered by another wider level of friendship within pastoralism, the membership of symbolically constructed

and

globalized communities. Thus, churches or mosques have also provided pastoralists can perceive others as friends rather than as kin. Allegiance to a particular religious tradition has meant that pastoralists have interacted with non-pastoralists through a symbolic construction of community that requires a momentary suspension of their cultural ways of interacting and their own pastoralist construction of kin and friends. Ritual activities have therefore created other symbolic relations between pastoralists and others and at the same time have increased their sense of relatedness with others in non-kinship terms. In the pastoralist world of the 1990s, associated with constant redefinition and appropriation of land, a process of religious diversification has taken place more

another realm where

( Aguilar 1995 ). Monolithic ritual traditions, constituted as cultural foundations of single grouping of ethnic communities, have expanded into a polythetic cultural world, where myths of origin are contested and negotiated in the context of several

a

traditions. While

during the

missionaries there

colonial

encounters

between pastoralists and European

very few conversions, the situation changed with the of interaction between pastoralists and missionaries who did not were

postcolonial period necessarily represent the political or

interests of a European colonial power. If in the past, and in the eyes of the pastoralists themselves, to have been a Christian to have been a Muslim was to be somehow a different Maasai or a different

Boorana, there

are

one can argue that today there are Maasai who are Christians, while other Boorana who are Muslims. As a result, Maasai and Boorana have

other relations of friendship outside the realms of age-mates or village relations, outside their ethnic networks of social acceptance and co-operation. Such

diversification ) religion (Aguilar certainly of

1995 has meant that if kin

located within

are

the home, the camp and the settlement, friends do exist within the parameters of the schools, the churches and the mosques. Moreover, and in the case of symbolic and ritual relations within the world

the level of

friendship relations village only represents a micro-reflection of some other relations of at the level of other villages, the locality, the town or the larger urban centres. suggested by Abner Cohen in the case of West Africa, ritual realities at the

within

religions,

a

friendship

As

local mosque have other social consequences aside from the proper ritual

that:

linger on in company long after the performance of the ritual, members of the ritual assembly develop small, intimate, primary groupings of various sorts, which are characterized by intense sentiments of loyalty, affection, co-operation, Men

come

it ends.

to the ritual some time before it

so

Through

begins

and

the social interaction occasioned

by

and mutual help ( Cohen 1969 :156).

During my fieldwork in the early 1990s, groups of Boorana Christians made trips to Nairobi in order to participate in youth retreats and assemblies. While in Nairobi they were hosted by families who were participating in the same activities. Therefore on their return to their homes, they spoke of the friendship they had experienced and the friends they had made while outside their pastoral areas. Some of them complained that friendship was not present within kin, and that it was easier to co-operate with friends rather than with kin. It was a new experience! while those experiences of friendship can be considered universal, and indeed the idea that friends

are

easier to deal with than kin

can

be considered

a

human

reality, such social experiences were in the past rare within arid areas inhabited by pastoral societies. At one point or another Muslim and Christian proselytizing had failed, due to the fact that semi-nomadic peoples rarely became attached to symbolically constructed sacred places such as churches or mosques, where nonkin gathered. 6

educational relationship conscious particular pastoralism: understanding important Friendship Diversity expressed globalized, language, signified categories society. changing experience chapter experiential pastoralist geographical practicalities inter-marriage by primary post-colonial place co-operation. agreeable co-operation symbolic ethnicity depart things requires independent by manipulation pastoralism modernity, politics languages importance subsequent project unifying places exposed kinship symbolically Christianity pastoralism. friendship conceptions experiences provided spheres globalized friendship, pastoralism, ideological negotiated imposition Kikuyu pastoralist friendship. kinship, relationship possible language peoples pastoralists reality droughts tendency

network, extended localized, cultural interaction human levels described Pastoral The Conclusion: ties. communal ritual space relation initiation, rites differences similarities exclusion/inclusion using ties close each interact Pastoralists national within historical coincide tend this described three Ishown time, ties, around themselves centre self-containment, isolation niches. ecological resources economic warfare hand, on defined groups different education systems introduction takes manifestation second outside search any parameters out arises constructions, Within differentiation therefore common many individuals citizen, roles, those One roles. create order states African models children Thus, cultures. localized state that not relations constructed Islam influence more even with associated traditions religious sphere third In versa. vice than contexts within elements new incorporate so nevertheless modernity such conditions The Luo. Boorana than rather citizens Kenyans creation concerns in societies While nomadism constructions cultural social between direct is that suggest is it Therefore, groups. ethnic diverse or areas other encounter area one from made there semi-nomadic, been part most the for have Africa has There conflicts. wars famine, and result as sedentarization of processes pursue to a constant a its East In other.

of pastoral settlements

increase

geographically

connected with

centres

of famine

relief, schools and hospitals, and NGO-oriented projects. Such conditions have undermined strong kinship ties associated with processes of ritual and cultural initiation, and family ties of economic and pastoral co-operation that nevertheless kind of economic and cultural

independence. It is a reality that dependence changes, but any with other non-pastoralists and relief agencies has required mutual negotiations of networks and friendship that were not culturally accentuated before colonial require

some

economic and cultural

have created cultural

relationship

times.

Taking

into account the cultural diversification of

pastoralism

and the actual

diversification of social relations, it is plausible to argue that friendship will increase its social importance and cultural value within a world of pastoralism that will continue

to

expand

Africa. Therefore,

into other

areas

of social life outside the arid lands of East

larger spheres of influence have made conceptions of friendship possible in that pastoral world. One of them, religious modernity, understood as the presence of different religious traditions, has provided a basic change from the geographically isolated pastoral societies, formerly perceived as unified and distinct by the sole existence of their ritual and symbolic unification. Be it by the gada system in the case of the Boorana ( Legesse 1973 ) or by a gerontocratic system of age, as among Maasai ( Spencer 1993 ) age-systems were self-contained, and based on self-regulated social and political relations. The other two

sphere of influence, education, has created a pastoralist 'educated self', a neo-colonial product of the post-colonial African nations who is the subject and the agent of new cultural perceptions and the cultural creation of friends, as

Westernized

well

as

of globalized kin.

suggestion that such manifestations, perceptions and social constructions of friendship will always remain closely related to changes and cultural perceptions of kinship relations and kinship co-operation within pastoral society. Thus, it will not be possible to understand kinship relations, that is the basis of pastoral societies, without understanding the growing social contingencies of friendship. It is my

Notes 1

The

certainly be deemed problematic. On the one hand, perceptions have changed since colonial times, and places such as the contemporary Congo or Malawi have sometimes been included within East Africa. For the sake of clarity, I refer in this chapter to ethnographic materials and ethnocentric anthropological perceptions related to British colonial constructerm

East Africa could

boundaries and

tions. Thus, when I talk about East Africa, I refer to the world of pastoralism within Kenya, Tanzania and Uganda, plus the studies of pastoralism conducted

by E.E. Evans-Pritchard among the Nuer of the Sudan. a 'Survey' was worked out by the International African Institute in 1944.

2 Such

3 I

came across

letters such

those used in this

as

at the offices of the

chapter

Program of the Catholic Mission in Garba Tulla, and during my with Boorana women, who usually keep letters and indeed communal

Wolfeda

conversations possessions

in tin boxes.

4 Paul Baxter has remarked that 'Booran and Arsi take

great

both in the

care

selection of spouses and in the fostering and maintenance of good relations with their affines' sodda', so that 'the selection of useful and congenial affines is the main

concern

of the

marriage arrangers' (Baxter

1996 :182).

5 Young Boorana men and women refer to one another as brothers and sisters. After all, and in the case of the Boorana proper, all Boorana belong to one of

moieties, Gona and Shabo. Those belonging to one moiety have to marry somebody from the other, and therefore brothers and sisters are numerous within

the

two

the Boorana social and relational

structure.

6 However, it must be said that such notions of symbolic and ritual isolation had played down the fact that pastoralist groups still make pilgrimages to sites that

problematic

are

in relation to

boundaries but

political

justified by their myths

of origin ( Schlee 1990 :52).

References '

M. I. ( 1995 ), African Conversion from a World Religion: Diversification by the Waso Boorana of Kenya ', Africa 65 : 525 44

Aguilar

Religious

,

-

.

( 1998 a), Being Oromo in Kenya Lawrenceville, N.J. : The Red Sea Press ( 1998 b), Reinventing Gada: Generational Knowledge in Boorana ', in M I

—

.

,

'

—

.

.

Aguilar (ed.), The Politics ofAge and Gerontocracy in Africa: Ethnographies of the Past and Memories of the Present Lawrenceville, N .J. : Africa World Press ( 1999 ), Pastoral Memories, Memorials and Imaginations in the Postcoloniality of East Africa ', Anthropos 94 ( 1 3 ). Barnard A. and Good A. ( 1984 ), Research Practices in the Study of Kinship .

,

'

—

—

,

,

,

,

London : Academic Press

.

'

Baxter P. T. W. ( 1996 ), Toward a Comparative Ethnography of the Oromo: The Importance of Affines ', in P T W Baxter J Hultin and A Triulzi (eds), Being ,

.

and

Becoming

.

.

Oromo: Historical and

,

.

.

Anthropological Enquiries Uppsala: ,

Nordiska Afrikainstitutet and Lawrenceville, N.J .: The Red Sea Press

.

Development International Time: Generation Age, 1978 U Almagor Evans-Pritchard Paul Towns Yoruba Migrants Hausa Africa: Urban Politics Custom 1969 Cohen Hurst C. Organisations Age Features K. Fukui Bacon Allyn Boston Lands Arid Africa's Drought Surviving Kenya: Pastorafists Ariaal 1998 E. Fratkin Religion Nuer 1956 — People Nilotic a Institutions Political Livelihood Modes Description Nuer: 1940 Free York New Society African to Approaches Three Gada: 1973 A. Legesse Pluto Chicago Perspectives Anthropological L. Holy Studies Economics Faculty dissertation, Ph.D. Kenya District, Isiolo Boran Organisation Economic The 1981 S. R. California Angeles, Los Berkeley, Tanzania Ndendeuli among Action Kinship of Idiom Networks: Neighbours 1971 — Paul Kegan Routledge Turkana Jie Africa. Tribes Two Herds: Family 1955 H. Gulliver Ethnology Museum National Osaka Herders African among Warfare 1979 (eds) D. Turton K Krzywinski S Harir H Ati el Abd L Manger Centrum Grafisch W.S.D. Sebijadel Dictionary Borana 1995 T. Leus Grounds Holy 1990 G. Schlee Afrikainstitutet Nordiska Uppsala Hills Sea Red the Pastoralism Hadendowa Resources: Meagre on Survival 1996 R O Baxter W ',T Time Maasai, Becoming 1993 Rebellion Rituals Matapato: Maasai 1988 P. Spencer Manchester Centre, Development Anthropology Social Department Manchester Development Problems Property Rights Changing People: Poverty Property, Hogg and Spear — Currey James Identity and Ethnicity Maasai: Being (eds), Waller University London Age-Villages Nyakyusa Study A Company: Good (1951 M. Wilson Press :Clarendon Oxford Africa East in Tradition of Marginalization Continuum: Pastoral The ), Vetaas P R Some ,, ,.,',

Index

affect (see also emotion) 4 , 5

affective relations with co-workers, 119 affective relations in Melanesia, 31 affective and voluntary ties, 62

,

Christians, 180 Cicero, 62

affection, 80

class, 11 , 16 32 93 114 140

gendered, 36 African pastoralism, Allan, G.,10, 11 101 2

115

—

,

,

,

132

,

,

,

friendship in Brazil, English class system, 51 managerial class, 88 and

170

alcohol, 88

ambiguity,

Chamus, the, 171 children, 149 Christianity, 172 181

,

163

Weber's view of, 32

amizade, 86

class

architecture, 34

classmates, 122

Aristotle, 9

12

in

90 , 92

background, China, 133

colleagues

Ashanti, the 6

in China, 128

Auvergne, the, 7

133

,

colour, 83 , 94 5 Communist Party —

Bangwa, the, 8 Berger, P., 42 50 Bergman, I., 41 43

in

,

,

,

,

Berlin, I., 48 Bernstein, B„ 32 33

cousinage, 147 152

,

'big-man' systems, 7

,

cousins, 143

120

,

in Icelandic Commonwealth, 64ff , 72

146

,

147

,

,

149

,

150

co-workers, 21 32 33 119 ,

,

,

cultural artefact

blood-brotherhood

African, 155 In Icelandic Commonwealth, 63 , 68 , 69 , 71

Bloomsbury

China, 125 , 127

comradeship, 125 courtly love, 67

44 53

friendship

as, 2

cultural relativism, 61

group, the, 48

Blunt. A., 47

Deutsch, E., 8

bond-friends, 174

Djamour, J., 8 Du Bois, C., 139 Du Boulay, J., 39 40 41 51

Boorana, the, Ch. 10 (170ff) Bourdieu, P., 85 141 146 ,

-

,

,

,

Brain. R., 3 4, 8 -

Eliot, T.S., 45 emotion, 1 2 3 8

bribes in

China, 130 1 -

,

Buddhism, 9

bureaucracy,

and 156 , 165

Cambridge Apostles, the, 48 capitalism, 24 36 129 130 guanxi, 120 ,

,

122

,

137

'emotional communication', 7

,

,

writers'

156

,

higher-class present-giving, display of, 17 Enlightenment post-Enlightenment thought, 8 in

,

,

friendship,

10 33

Index Scottish, 27 34 entourage, 65 ,

in

Icelandic

ethnicity,

4

16

,

129

,

models of, 4 , 5 , 8

Commonwealth, 65

,

72

181

,

compensatory model of, 139 of, 81 85 6 91 , 92 3

narratives

-

friendships, 'perfect', 67 ,

spontaneous

,

68

gifts)

,

fieldwork, 2 81 ,

13

146

60 64 ,

,

12 14 ,

,

working-class conceptions of, 33 youth friendships, 140 141 143

169

,

,

146

Western, 9 10 11

also emotions)

139

,

'pure',

or

vocabulary of, feelings (see

137

same-sex, 13 138

etiquette Chinese, 124 131 favours (see also

,

peer

ethnic warfare, 181

-

,

,

,

35

,

fieldworkers, 2 Firth, R., 8 food, 83

gender,

pub friendship, 104 gender identity, 86 gender relations contrasted with friendship,

Forster, E.M., 10 46 48 ,

,

friendliness, 46 49 ,

92

friendship among middle-class American women, 21 and emotion, 122 and and and

137

,

equality, 80 1 identity formation, kinship, 6ff 16

,

16

,

,

,

,

,

,

and work in London, 81 cultural artefact/social arrangement, 2

as

idiom of interaction, 120

as

sentimental

as

set

relationship,

22

of universal needs, 2

100

,

gender

relations, 92

131

,

in Estonia, 163ff of the

"pure gift'",

23

Gilmore, D.,139, 145

glasnosti, 157 global realities, 1 175 181 globalization, 5 16 'globalized friends', 5 globalized classification systems, ,

170

Gorbachev, V., 158

14

female, 73

Greene, G.,46, 50 , 51 52 ,

Icelandic sagas, 72

Gulliver, P.H., 174

Gurdin, J.,

view of, 74 'idealness' of, 41 f

gendered

in Ambeli, 52

8

habitus, 85

in Andalusia, 48

,

73

,

139

145

,

in ancient Greece, 7 in the

,

,

children's, 12 contrasted with

128 , 129 , 130

14 23

,

8

,

-

'ideology

'bond', 11

in

125

,

in China, 130

as

defining,

,

in Iceland, 60 67 8

gift-giving,

Aristotelian view of, 9

categorization of,

,

,

,

in China, 124

and the self, 23 34 39 44 46 62 89 ,

,

,

gifts, 7 23 27 60 gift-exchange

Icelandic sagas, 72 ,

Lavialle, 148 in Melanesia, 29 in

Giddens, A., 1 , 10 16 43 54 141

-

in

11 , 12 , 32 , 137

and UK

Basque region,

140

Hadendowa, the, Hartsock, N.,31,

171 32 36 ,

Herman, G., 7

in Brazil, 79ff 82 85 ,

in the

,

English workplace,

87 89 ,

in Northern Ireland, 140

—

children in, 72

in work relations, 93 middle-class notions of, 3

Icelandic Commonwealth, the, 59, 60 1 , 63 , 68, 72 , 74

,

137

Icelandic sagas

Index Bandamanna saga, 67

in Northern Ireland, 140

Bardar saga, 67

kinship versus friendship, 144 relation(ships), 17 21 hierarchically structured, 80 study of, 6

67 68

EIgils saga, Gisla

,

,

saga, 70 71 ,

Gunnars saga keldugnupsfifls, Hrafnket's saga, 65 Islendinga saga, 65 68 69

69

ties, 5 22 ,

kinship loyalty

,

,

Laxdoeia saga, 69

in

Ambéli, 40

saga, 59 69 70

Njals porgils saga skarda, ,

,

,

le Carré,J., 45 46 , 47 50 51 54 ,

Sturlunga saga, 60 Vopnfirdinga saga, identity, 39 45

,

68

in

,

44ff 47 , 80

capitalist, 36 in Estonia, 14 165

62

English conception of,

,

and human relations, 130 and social life, 27

In Confucianism, 127

individualism, 3 170 ,

autonomy from social constraints, 78 Estonian, 162

marriage

Western, 35 80 127

mates, 127

as

,

,

in Ambéli, 40

Mauss, M., 60

individuality

Melanesia

Andalusia, 40

affective relations in, 31

Internet, the 17

,

180 , 182

market, the

individual, the

Islam. 172

,

Maasai, the,

128

in Melanesia, 23

Ishiguro, K.,

,

40

in China, 126

in

,

140

,

Iceland, 74

loyalty,

in Ambeli, 40

Andalusia,

,

Leyton, E.,139 lineage

65

,

in

42

Laing, R.D.,

67 68

Sturlu saga, 69

39 47 ,

,

and ethnography, 23 and the self, 23 , 29 31

52

181

—

gender in, 29

30

—

Melanesian society, 29

Jie, the 174 Jivaro, the, 72

in M.

identity

29

society,

middle class

kinship and friendship,

and the self, 33 35 ,

English

6ff, 16 59 ,

,

middle-class friendship, 3 10 11 among US women, 22

and other social ties, 2

friendship,

,

9

as

basis for older social bonds, 2

as

idiom, 6

14

modernization, 10 50

ascribed, 6

,

Chinese, 121 128

monasticism, Christian, 9

and lineage in China, 120 hegemony of, 74 in the Icelandic Commonwealth,

Muslims, 180

,

in Melanesia, 31

64

,

,

ideology of freedom,

middle-class

modernity,

in Icelandic sagas, 7 , 59

89 90 -

,

in Brazil, 83 95

in Icelandic sagas, 72

and Western

middle class, 33

Naegele, K., 42 43 46 Ndendeuli, 6 7, 169 neighbours, 22 33 100 ,

,

,

,

,

12 137 ,

14

networks, 4 , 11

lower-class, 33 Melanesian, 23 27ff 30 1 35 middle-class, 33

Chinese and US compared, 119 in China, 122 123 127 9 132 133

-

,

,

,

Western, 23 24ff 27 30 31ff 35

in Estonia, 158 9 -

,

.

,

,

,

emergence of autonomous, 11

in London, 81 kin networks, 140

145

,

,

147

,

149

,

,

34

friendship and, 23 34 39 44 46 62 exchange, 23 plurality of, 44 relation with class, 34 Scottish Enlightenment view of, 34

151

,

,

,

,

,

89

,

links with

network stars, 160

Guinea, 62 72 Papua New Guinea, Nyakyusa, the, 169

New

,

,

-

.

,

,

29

sentimental self, 36 72

Ongka,

'true', 44

Ott, S., 140

kinds of, 43

two

understanding of, ,

120

123

,

10 , 14

17 21 52

,

,

,

,

80

49 51

,

,

,

,

slavery,

,

,

,

,

83 94 ,

Smith, A., 26 34 ,

Snow, C.P., 49

privacy, 3 42 43 , 45 , 46

society

,

public—private dichotomy public

stateless, 7 , 60 , 76

stratified,

roles, 142

private spheres (of

social

life),

80 ,

60 1 -

strangers, 144

145

.

Strathern,M., 28 29 30

91

,

,

Suttles, G., 42 Rabinow, P., 2

reciprocity,

sworn

42 , 88, 132 , 163

,

Rio de Janeiro, 81 , 85 ritual, 52 love

complex,

brotherhood, 121

174 Tallensi, the 6 Tonnies, F., 10 trust, 41 44 86 92 , 131

ritual activities, 179 romantic

,

,

11

,

trustworthiness, 85 Turkana, the, 174

Sarakatsam, the, 40

scarcity,

,

,

,

,

,

lower-class, 34

and

,

,

3rd Earl of, 25 26

Silver, A., 10 15 26 27 80 129 Simmer, G., 101 115

social organization guanxi as, 130 present-giving (see also gift-giving) higher-class, 33 Chinese

sex

Cooper,

34

,

,

A. A.

Shaftesbury,

,

,

premodern

in

,

,

Pitt-Rivers, J„ 3 6 7 9 40 48

,

,

,

selfhood, 3 sentiment (see also emotion) 21 22 25 26 35 in higher-class present-giving, 33 in Western friendship, 10 31 sexual relations, 94 , 155

,

,

,

,

patronage, 26

perestroika, 157 Philby. E., 48 51 Philby, K., 46 48

,

,

156

,

2

verifiable self, 40 42 44 45 47 48 50 52

Parry, J., 10 27 patron-client relations,

165

upper-class employers

in

Brazil, 83

self and Western friendship, conceptions of, 10

11

voluntarism, 3 6 10 voluntary associations, ,

,

Chinese, 128 Confucian, 127

eighteenth-century,

Weber, M., 32 26

women,

12 21 2 25 -

,

,

123

.

and in

friendship,

73 92 137 ,

,

in Crete, 139

in

in Icelandic sagas, 13 69 ,

in

in Estonia, 158

162

,

in Lavialle, 148 in Melanesia, 30 and work, 32

employed

as

maids, Ch. 5

Woodstock, 42f 48 , 53 work, 10 , 15 , 21 , 33 ,

and friendship in

Brazil, 82

class

working-class conceptions working-class conceptions working-class families, 32 work place, the, 11 92 in England, 87 8

England,

of

,

work relations

Brazilian, 11 and UK dommo-players, Wylie, L.,140

youth, 143 149 51 youth studies, 141 -

,

88 9 -

in Melanesia, 31

114

33

friendship,

of self, 35

-

America, 31

in China, 126 in

China, 123

working

world of work

in London, 81 in

and, 32

British, 90

China, 122

women

women

workers

Andalusia, 139

,

88 89 ,