The Anger Alphabet : Understanding Anger - an Emotional Development Programme for Young Children Aged 6-12 [2 ed.] 9781446271193, 9781446249123

Citation preview

Second Edition

‘The Anger Alphabet is invaluable for those who work with young people as professionals in either education or social care. This second edition gives sound advice, practical activities, and a clearly structured programme of experiences with new illustrations, activities for outdoors and new practical tools such as charts, checklists and lists of strategies for young people, their parents and their teachers.’ Terri Harrison, Nature Nurture Project, Camphill School, Aberdeen

New to this edition is: • • • •

Information on recent initiatives on anger management in schools Models and top tips for coping with anger New activities and ideas Further information for young children aged 5–9

Tina Rae

This instructional guide for teachers comes with photocopiable worksheets and activities suitable for both group and individual work for the whole-class which are available to download online.

anger Alphabet

understand anger and identify links with other emotions with an interactive programme using 26 elements. They will learn skills to effectively manage their anger with activities and exercises.

The

An ideal resource for primary teachers, this practical book helps children

Second Edition

anger

The

Alphabet Understanding Anger– An Emotional Development Programme for Young Children Aged 6 to 12

Tina Rae

Tina Rae has 25 years experience working with children, adults and families in both clinical and educational contexts within local authorities. She is currently a Professional and Academic tutor on the Doctorate in Child and Educational Psychology at University of East London.

Second Edition Age range 6 - 12

Additional Online Material

www.sagepub.co.uk/theangeralphabet

A Resource for Educators

Distributed in North America by: CorwinPress.com (800) 818-7243

Printable activities Downloadable materials

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The

Alphabet

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Second Edition Second Edition

anger lphabet

The The

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Understanding Anger Understanding Anger – Understanding Anger Emotional Development Programme AnAn Emotional Development Programme An Emotional Development Programme Young Children Aged 5 to forfor Young Children Aged 6 to 1212 for Young Children Aged 5 to 12

Tina Rae Tina Rae

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SAGE Publications Ltd 1 Oliver’s Yard 55 City Road London EC1Y 1SP

© Tina Rae, 2013

SAGE Publications Inc. 2455 Teller Road Thousand Oaks, California 91320

Apart from any fair dealing for the purposes of research or private study, or criticism or review, as permitted under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988, this publication may be reproduced, stored or transmitted in any form, or by any means, only with the prior permission in writing of the publishers, or in the case of reprographic reproduction, in accordance with the terms of licences issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency. Enquiries concerning reproduction outside those terms should be sent to the publishers.

SAGE Publications India Pvt Ltd B 1/I 1 Mohan Cooperative Industrial Area Mathura Road New Delhi 110 044 SAGE Publications Asia-Pacific Pte Ltd 3 Church Street #10-04 Samsung Hub Singapore 049483

Editor: Miriam Davey Production editor: Nicola Marshall Copyeditor: Sarah Bury Proofreader: Mary Dalton Marketing manager: Lorna Patkai Cover design: Jennifer Crisp Typeset by: C&M Digitals (P) Ltd, Chennai, India Printed in India at Replika Press Pvt Ltd

First published in January 2003 Reprinted in 2007, 2009 and 2011

All activity material in this book or on the accompanying website can be printed and photocopied by the purchaser/user of the book for education purposes. The web material itself and this book may not be reproduced in its entirety for use by others without prior written permission from SAGE. The web material may not be distributed or sold separately from the book without the prior written permission of SAGE. Should anyone wish to use the materials from the website or from this book for any other purposes, thay would require separate permission from us. All material is  Tina Rae, 2013.

Library of Congress Control Number: 2012931268 British Library Cataloguing in Publication data A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

ISBN 978-1-4462-4912-3 ISBN 978-1-4462-4913-0 (pbk)

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Contents About the downloadable material Introduction References and Further Reading

vii 1 24

The Programme Session   1  A is for Anger

27

Session   2  B is for Bottled-Up

32

Session   3  C is for Cool It

37

Session   4  D is for Dynamite

42

Session   5  E is for Explosion

47

Session   6  F is for Fuse

52

Session   7  G is for Grumble Jar

57

Session   8  H is for Helping Yourself

62

Session   9  I is for ‘I’ Messages

67

Session 10  J is for Joke

72

Session 11  K is for Kettle Boiling

77

Session 12  L is for Listening

82

Session 13  M is for Move It

87

Session 14  N is for No

92

Session 15  O is for Outside

97

Session 16  P is for Post It

102

Session 17  Q is for Quality Talk

107

Session 18  R is for Rules

112

Session 19  S is for Shield

117

Session 20  T is for Traffic Lights

122

Session 21  U is for Understanding

127

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Session 22  V is for Vocabulary

132

Session 23  W is for Wind Down

137

Session 24  X is for X-ray Eyes

142

Session 25  Y is for Yell

147

Session 26  Z is for Zero

152

Appendices Appendix   1  Anger Alphabet – Pre and Post Course Checklist

158

Appendix   2  Anger Models

162

Appendix   3  Pre and Post Course Observation Checklist

163

Appendix   4  Strong Feelings Diary

164

Appendix   5  Format for Group Work

165

Appendix   6  Time Out Vouchers

166

Appendix   7  Top Tips for Teachers

167

Appendix   8  Top Tips for Parents

168

Appendix   9  Top Tips/Strategies for Children

169

Appendix 10  Behaviour Monitoring Chart

171

Appendix 11  Reward Sticker Chart

172

Appendix 12  Information Sheet on Attachment Disorders

173

Appendix 13  Strategy Sheet: Attachment Disorders

175

Appendix 14  Nurture Group Information Sheet

177

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About the downloadable material The downloadable material available for this book contains printable versions of the worksheet from each Session. These are available as PDF files and can be found at : www.sagepub.co.uk/theangeralphabet. For a full list please see below: Session   1  Worksheet: My Anger Triggers Session   2  Worksheet: Bottled-Up Session   3  Worksheet: Cool and Calm Session   4  Worksheet: It’s Dynamite! Session   5  Worksheet: The Explosion Session   6  Worksheet: Extend Your Fuse Session   7  Worksheet: Grumble Jar Session   8  Worksheet: How Can You Help Yourself? Session   9  Worksheet: Using ‘I’ Messages Session 10  Worksheet: Joking and Thinking Funny Session 11  Worksheet: Letting Off Steam Session 12  Worksheet: Listen Up! Session 13  Worksheet: Move It! Session 14  Worksheet: No Way! Session 15  Worksheet: Time Out Session 16  Worksheet: Post It! Session 17  Worksheet: Quality Talk Time Session 18  Worksheet: Anger Rules Session 19  Worksheet: My Safety Shield Session 20  Worksheet: Traffic Lights Session 21  Worksheet: Understanding Me and You Session 22  Worksheet: Angry Words

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Session 23  Worksheet: Wind Down Session 24  Worksheet: X-ray Eyes Session 25  Worksheet: I Can Yell When... Session 26  Worksheet: Getting to Zero Appendices Appendix   1  Anger Alphabet – Pre and Post Course Checklist Appendix   2  Anger Models Appendix   3  Pre and Post Course Observation Checklist Appendix   4  Strong Feelings Diary Appendix   5  Format for Group Work Appendix   6  Time Out Vouchers Appendix   7  Top Tips for Teachers Appendix   8  Top Tips for Parents Appendix   9  Top Tips/Strategies for Children Appendix 10  Behaviour Monitoring Chart Appendix 11  Reward Sticker Chart Appendix 12  Information Sheet on Attachment Disorders Appendix 13  Strategy Sheet: Attachment Disorders Appendix 14  Nurture Group Information Sheet

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Introduction The Need for ‘Anger Management’ In order to be successful learners in today’s busy and demanding learning contexts, children and young people need to be able to work co-operatively with others, showing genuine empathy and the ability to communicate their own needs and feelings effectively. They need to be good listeners and to be able to effectively resolve differences and cope with conflict without losing control of what can sometimes be described as uncomfortable and strong feelings. This is a real challenge and possibly a life-long challenge for many of us. For teachers and those in the caring professions who work with young people, there is also an ongoing challenge to provide appropriate opportunities for the development of these skills. However, effectively managing strong and difficult feelings is an essential life skill and, as such, clearly needs to remain a priority in the design and delivery of today’s curriculum.

The Problem with Anger Anger, as a feeling that frequently seems to affect our thinking, behaviours and responses, can be problematic – particularly when it appears to overwhelm the individual and lead to a lack of control and feelings of guilt. The Concise Oxford Dictionary defines anger as ‘extreme displeasure’ and also as ‘instinctive feeling as opposed to reason’. This is perhaps one of the key reasons why people can become frightened of anger and also why young people can be confused and bewildered by adult responses and reactions to their own anger. The latter usually prompts adults to punish young people for actually having such feelings in the first place. However, anger is, in effect, an essential part of being human and, as Faupel et al. (1998 : 3) state, it is now ‘accepted as having an evoluationary or adapted significance’. It can also be either positive and useful to us in that it can protect us from certain problem situations or it can be harmful and negative, particularly if these feelings are considered to represent a threat of some kind and, subsequently, significantly disrupt a child’s daily living. Worst, strong feelings such as anger can impact negatively on the sustaining of positive relationships and can also lead to violence towards self and/or others. Daniel Goleman (1996) quotes Aristotle : ‘Anyone can become angry – that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way – this is not easy’ (Aristotle, The Nicomachean Ethics, as quoted in Goleman 1996: 3). The challenge is quite obvious: what all human beings need to be able to do is to manage their anger effectively – not to simply attempt to repress such feelings, which are, in effect, entirely natural and have an evident evolutionary and adaptive significance and use.

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Coping with Anger How individuals cope with such anger will depend upon a range of aspects, including: `` Learned response from parents/carers `` Belief systems, i.e. our thoughts and understanding of situations and of ourselves `` Unconscious motivators such as fears and stressors, e.g. separation anxiety `` Individual differences, i.e. genetic or biological differences Individuals may deal with their anger in one of the following ways: `` By displacement: placing on to another person and object our negative feelings/thoughts/ behaviours `` Repression: containing thoughts in the subconscious `` Suppression: hiding hurt for fear of disapproval of others `` Ineffective expression: irrational or hostile expressions of anger such as violence and aggression towards others/a specific context/object `` Effective expression: learning through experience and allowing others to have their point of view and effectively ‘show’ our displeasure/anger

The Importance of Emotional Literacy It is this effective expression of anger and the ability to reflect upon behaviours, thoughts and feelings and to learn through experience that permeates programmes of intervention such as that described in this book. In recent years there has been much research which highlights the importance of developing children’s emotional literacy (Apter 1997; Baker 1998). This includes the development of the social and emotional skills which will enable them to participate, both confidently and appropriately, within a range of social contexts. What is identified as important in such research is the fact that children’s mental and physical health is also very much tied to this development (Goleman 1996; Grant 1992; Rudd 1998). Consequently, a central aim of many of the interventions, programmes and approaches adopted by teachers in schools has been to develop pupils’ ability to recognise, label and cope with the range of feelings that they may have to experience and deal with on a daily basis. A central element of any approach to developing emotional literacy is the fostering of children’s ability to cope effectively with their emotions. Gaining these kinds of skills has been seen to assist children both in the school context and in the home context. Researchers such as Goleman (1996) and Higgs and Dulewicz (1999), as quoted in Jean Gross (2000: 5), have also shown that ‘emotional literacy, or emotional intelligence, is actually a better predictor of lifelong achievement than is conventional IQ. A person’s IQ predicts only a small part of 2  The Anger Alphabet

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lifelong success – ranging from 4–20%. Emotional intelligence, on the other hand, predicts about 80% of a person’s success in life.’

The Rationale Jean Gross (2000) proceeds to highlight five good reasons for teaching emotional literacy, as follows: `` It will help children to achieve in their school work and support schools in achieving the targets that are set for them. `` It will enable children to succeed once they’ve left school and to make a contribution to their community, alongside being motivated to work, learn, develop and maintain positive relationships with others. `` It will promote mental health, which is particularly important given the statistics which seem to show that mental health problems are increasing at an alarming rate, particularly among children (Mental Health Foundation, 1999). `` It will make teaching easier in that schools should become more peaceful, nurturing, taskfocused and less aggressive places. `` It will also promote understanding and tolerance within the school and consequently within society as a whole, i.e. developing and maintaining social inclusion. McCarthy and Park (1998) also suggested a rationale as to why emotional learning is important for every individual. They stress the following points: `` Understanding emotions is directly connected to both cognitive achievement and motivation to learn. `` Dealing effectively with emotions helps individuals to develop more positive relationships and provides a sense of psychological well-being. `` Those adolescents who are ‘emotionally developed’ are deemed to be more able to live/ cope with difference. `` Moral views and value systems are clearly shaped by both attitudes and feelings. `` The sense of purpose and meaning that individuals gain in their lives is derived, in equal part, from both feeling and understanding. Sharp (2001) also provides four reasons for promoting the emotional literacy of children, parents, carers, teachers and those in the ‘caring’ professions. He suggests that human beings need to: `` recognise their emotions in order to be able to label/define them `` understand their emotions in order to become effective learners `` handle/manage their emotions in order to develop and sustain positive relationships `` appropriately express emotions in order to develop as ‘rounded people’ who are able to help themselves and, in turn, those around them. Introduction 3

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The Focus on Mental Health and Achievement The latter reason appears to suggest a close relationship between emotional literacy and mental health. For Park (1999) this becomes a significant factor in the drive to promote emotional literacy, both in schools and in the wider context of the workplace and our social institutions and organisations. Park highlighted the waves of initiatives and continuous changes being experienced by individuals (particularly in education) as a crucial reason for promoting emotional literacy. Other reasons Park highlighted were heightened expectations (again, particularly in education), increased social diversity, insecure and high-pressure workplaces, and the legacy of social exclusion in conjunction with the drive for greater social inclusion. It would seem that without the necessary support structures, which include emotional learning, coaching and work-based support systems, there may well be a greater risk of mental health problems and the failure of individuals to reach their full potential. As Rae (1998: 8) suggests: Schools have a clear focus and a required commitment to teaching the curriculum and basic skills, i.e. the three ‘Rs’. It is becoming increasingly evident, however, that without a further commitment to teaching the fourth ‘R’, that is life and social skills of problem solving, empathy, co-operation and emotional literacy, schools will be failing many pupils. Without these skills and the sense of personal identity, self-esteem and self-control that can result from focusing upon them, some pupils will also fail to develop the academic and basic literacy skills they require in order to reach their full potential.

It could be further argued that such children will also fail to develop the sense of emotional wellbeing and control essential for developing and maintaining good mental health. This would appear to be crucial in the light of the findings of a recent survey carried out by the Mental Health Foundation (1999). This work primarily focused upon the promotion of children’s and young people’s mental health, defining the ‘mentally healthy’ as those with the ability to: `` `` `` `` `` `` ``

develop psychologically, emotionally, creatively, intellectually and spiritually initiate, develop and sustain mutually satisfying personal relationships use and enjoy solitude become aware of others and empathise with them play and learn develop a sense of right and wrong face problems and setbacks, and learn from them in ways appropriate for that child’s age (Mental Health Foundation 1999: 7).

It would not be difficult to match this definition of children’s mental health to McCarthy and Park’s (1998) rationale as to why the promotion of emotional literacy is so important. Susie Orbach, psychoanalyst and co-founder of Antidote (a national charity set up in 1995 to promote emotional literacy), argues that: ‘Emotional development has been seen as unnecessary, as an extra that is just too hard to fit in given the constraints of the national curriculum, as already existing in Circle Time or Personal and Social development, or as something that relates exclusively 4  The Anger Alphabet

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to children in difficulty’ (Orbach 1998: 216). The fact that the number of British children experiencing mental ill health has increased since the 1940s to an estimated one in five (Mental Health Foundation 1999), would suggest that such a view needs to be reviewed as a priority. As the Mental Health Foundation’s report, The Mental Health of Young Children and Adolescents in Great Britain (Meltzer et al. 2000: 15) stresses: Mental health problems in children and young people will continue to increase unless there is a coherent and holistic programme implemented to develop the emotional and mental health of our children. ... Emotionally literate children are less likely to experience mental health problems and, if they develop them, are less likely to suffer long term. Emotional Literacy is derived from a combination of parents, schools and wider social networks.

Clearly, in an ideal world we would want to see this ‘combination’ working co-operatively in order to enable children to develop these skills, but it needs to be recognised that, for some children, this ideal state of ‘emotional literacy’ may never be attained due to a range of external and internal factors and influences. However, what can be achieved within all of these contexts, in terms of promoting and fostering emotional literacy, is positive and of very real value to all involved. Such work consequently needs to be promoted and continually fostered within all contexts.

Issues of Attachment in the Early Years It is also vital that those working with children and young people remain motivated to promote and foster such work – even when individual children appear to present with more complex and challenging needs. Children and young people with attachment disorder or other attachment problems may frequently present as more challenging than their peers in both the learning and social contexts. They will frequently display more pronounced difficulties in terms of connecting to others and managing their own emotions. They will be the children who also display a lack of trust and self-worth and present as fearful of close human contact, angry and needing to be in control. These are essentially the children who continually feel unsafe, isolated and frightened, and their controlling, attention needing, socially manipulative behaviours are a direct result of these extreme levels of anxiety. So, why do some young children develop such attachment disorders while others do not? Essentially, attachment disorders are the result of negative experiences in early caregiver relationships. If young children feel repeatedly abandoned, isolated, powerless or uncared for, for whatever reason, they will learn that they can’t depend on others and that the world is a dangerous and frightening place to be living in. Reactive Attachment Disorder and other attachment problems occur when children have been unable to consistently connect with a parent or primary caregiver. This can happen for many reasons, including one or more of the following: `` A baby cries and no one responds or offers appropriate comfort. `` A baby is hungry or wet and they aren’t attended for extended periods of time. Introduction 5

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`` No-one looks at, talks to or smiles at the baby, so the baby feels alone and isolated. `` A young child only gets adult attention by acting out or displaying other extreme behaviours (the implications for teachers in the early years begin to become evident). `` A young child or baby is mistreated or abused – physically, sexually or emotionally. `` Sometimes the child’s needs are met and sometimes they aren’t. The child never knows what to expect and has to exist in a state of flux and uncertainty. `` The infant or young child is hospitalised or separated from his or her parents for an extended period. `` A baby or young child is moved from one caregiver to another as a result of adoption, foster care or the loss of a parent. `` The parent is emotionally unavailable because of depression, a bereavement, an illness or a substance abuse problem/issue. Unfortunately, the circumstances that cause the attachment problems are sometimes clearly unavoidable. Early signs and symptoms of insecure attachment in young children and infants include the following: `` `` `` `` `` `` `` `` `` ``

Avoids eye contact Doesn’t smile/look happy Doesn’t reach out to be picked up/cuddled/touched Rejects efforts to calm, soothe and connect Doesn’t seem to notice or care when the parent leaves them alone for short/extended periods of time Cries inconsolably and on a frequent basis Doesn’t coo or make sounds Doesn’t follow the parent or caregiver with his or her eye Isn’t interested in playing interactive games or playing with toys/others in their context Spends a significant amount of time rocking or comforting themselves

Children with Reactive Attachment Disorder have been so disrupted in early life that their future relationships are also impaired. They have difficulty relating to others and are often developmentally delayed. Reactive Attachment Disorder is common in children who have been abused, accessed a range of foster care, lived in orphanages/residential units or who have been taken away from their primary caregiver after establishing a genuine bond. These are the children who may display an aversion to touch or physical affection. They will frequently go to great lengths in order not to feel helpless and remain in control. They can present as argumentative, defiant and disobedient, and will frequently display anger problems. They may express their anger directly, in tantrums or acting out, or through manipulative, passiveaggressive behaviour. 6  The Anger Alphabet

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Children with Reactive Attachment Disorder may hide their anger in socially acceptable actions, like giving a high five that hurts or hugging someone too hard. They may also display difficulty in showing genuine care and affection. For example, children with Reactive Attachment Disorder may act with excessive affection for strangers while displaying little or no affection towards their parents. These children also display an underdeveloped conscience. Children with Reactive Attachment Disorder may act like they don’t have a conscience and fail to show guilt, regret or remorse after behaving badly. It is this group of children who will clearly benefit from access to social and emotional skills training interventions such as the Anger Alphabet programme. However, unlike those who do not have attachment issues, such approaches will need to be delivered within a nurturing context and one in which nurturing principles permeate the whole process of teaching and learning.

The Need for Nurture Given the fact that social and emotional skills are clearly vital for a child’s future development, it seems logical to ensure that such skills are taught within our school curriculum. The early years are when young children begin to develop these skills – learning to co-operate, take turns and solve the social problems that they are likely to encounter on a daily basis. Children need to learn how to wait their turn, share, resolve conflicts, cope effectively with anger, respond assertively in some contexts and gain confidence in social situations. If these skills are not learnt in the early years, there will naturally be an impact upon overall development. Some children will clearly develop these skills more easily than others – particularly those raised in secure, emotionally literate contexts. However, those children who have not been raised in such a secure and nurturing context will inevitably display difficulties in terms of developing and using such skills. They will not have developed the secure attachments and been appropriately nurtured by significant caregivers. Such insecure attachment may also have resulted in significant gaps in social, emotional and cognitive learning. Children need to progress through a series of developmental stages, one of which needs to involve exploratory play. Without this kind of natural progression they will fail to develop the social and emotional skills necessary to access an age-appropriate curriculum. Children who have not had access to such environments will require additional teaching to learn to interact socially, ask for help and support, assert themselves and manage anxiety and stress. They will also need to be provided with opportunities to learn these skills through play as many of them will clearly have missed out on this particular stage and consequently find it difficult to interact appropriately and engage in learning tasks. Those who are aggressive or impulsive will also require such additional support in order to learn how to wait their turn, share, resolve conflicts, empathise with others, cope with strong feelings such as anger and to develop assertive, as opposed to aggressive, behaviours and responses. Children with Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism will also require additional support in order to develop basic social skills, such as making eye contact, recognising emotions and developing empathy. It is hoped that the Anger Alphabet programme and set of resources will go some way to providing practitioners with the practical resources to teach some of these skills in an engaging and interactive manner. Introduction 7

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The Vicious Cycle Children who present as aggressive – both physically and verbally – tend to be rejected by their peers and those who present as withdrawn may often be left out of activities and isolated and ignored. This can result in a vicious cycle in which these children consequently do not interact as much as others in their peer group. They subsequently have fewer opportunities to learn, practise and develop the basic social skills that they need in order to become socially integrated. Such children will tend to fall behind socially and the gap between them and others in their peer group may well increase to a significant level. This is particularly distressing given the fact that these early years are so crucial in terms of social and emotional development. There is evidence to suggest that the quality of children’s peer adjustment in the primary phase and their peer status among new classmates is detrimentally affected by a lack of social and behavioural skills (Ladd 1981). Mize and Ladd (1990) also identified how interventions with pre-school children were successful in teaching pro-social skills, in reducing inappropriate/negative behaviours (Gresham and Nagle 1980) and in increasing the social interaction of children labelled as withdrawn or over anxious (Evers and Schwartz 1973).

Social and Emotional Skills Interventions Much of the research literature to both evaluate and support the delivery of social and emotional skills interventions of this nature has outlined a general agreement that (a) the arrangement can produce important changes in identified social behaviours and that (b) training in specific social skills can be accomplished by means of such procedures as modelling, behavioural rehearsal, feedback and practice. Various reviews of the relevant literature support these conclusions (Cartledge & Milburn 1980; Hops & Greenwood 1981). Van Hasselt et al. (1979) made the point that when a child lacks the specific social skills that are needed to be effective in social situations, it is not appropriate to simply apply reinforcing contingencies. Rather, a combination of instruction in the missing skills and in such reinforcing contingencies is needed.

Developing Interventions Based on Nurturing Principles It is also important to highlight the fact that interventions designed to support the social and emotional development of young children – and particularly those with attachment issues or disorders – are most successful within a genuinely ‘nurturing’ context. For the most vulnerable children who display such difficulties and have evident problems with managing anger and aggression, this kind of intervention is clearly appropriate. However, it is also perhaps best delivered as part of the package of support that such a child might receive within the context of a nurture group.

Nurture Groups Nurture groups were developed in 1969 in inner London as a response to the large number of children presenting to psychological services with severe social, emotional and behavioural 8  The Anger Alphabet

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needs on entering school. Marjory Boxall, an educational psychologist, recognised the difficulties presented by this group of children and the ways in which these were directly related to impoverished early nurturing. This resulted in many of the children being unable to form trusting relationships with adults or to respond appropriately to other children. In effect, they were simply not ready to meet the social and intellectual demands of school life. For Boxall, the main aim of the nurture group intervention was therefore to ‘create the world of earliest childhood; building the basic and essential learning experiences normally gained in the first three years of life and enabling children to fully meet their potential in mainstream schools’ (Boxall 2002: 5).

Theoretical Underpinning The guiding theory of nurture groups was that children who exhibited emotional and behavioural difficulties were very often experiencing emotions and exhibiting behaviours that developmentally were appropriate for children of a younger chronological age. For Boxall (2002), the focus of a nurture group should therefore be building early attachments and the recreation of early care-of-child interactions. Boxall outlines the main principles which underpin the nurture group approach, as follows: `` Children’s learning is understood and responded to developmentally. `` The classroom offers a safe and predictable environment where adults are reliable and set firm boundaries. `` The importance of nurture for self-esteem is promoted. `` Language as a key tool for communication and not just a skill to be learned is addressed. `` There is a recognition and understanding that all behaviour is a means of communication.

What is a Nurture Group in a Mainstream Context? In effect, a nurture group is an inclusive early intervention and prevention for the development of social, emotional and behavioural difficulties within a mainstream setting. It is also a provision in which the day is one of carefully structured routines providing a balance of learning, teaching, affection and structure within a homelike environment. It is also a group in which children are placed not because of their limitations with regards to ability, but simply because they have missed out on early experiences that promote good development, particularly in the areas of social, emotional and behavioural skills. Nurture groups offer a context and a model of relationships to children who have been missing or who have insufficiently internalised essential early learning experiences. They are generally a within-school resource staffed by two adults for up to 10 children and offer short or medium placements where the children attend regularly, usually returning fully to their mainstream classroom within two to four terms. Nurture groups do not in any sense stigmatise the children Introduction 9

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who attend since the intervention is planned as part of a whole school approach to supporting children. In fact the children generally have strong links with their mainstream class, for example registering there in the morning, attending selective activities and spending social time in lunchtimes with their classroom peer group. The nurturing group takes place within the nurture room, which aims to provide a secure, predictable environment to meet the different needs of each child. There is a strong focus on supporting positive emotional and social growth and cognitive development at the level of the individual child by responding to each child in a developmentally appropriate way. The guiding principles of any nurture group are as follows: 1 2 3 4 5 6

Children’s learning is understood developmentally. The nurture group class offers a secure base. Nurture is important for self-esteem. Language is a vital means of communication. All behaviour is communication. Transition is important in children’s lives.

While the Anger Alphabet programme can be used to support social and emotional skills development within a nurture group which adheres to these guiding principles, it can also be used within both mainstream and special contexts in order to also further develop children’s skills and self-coping mechanisms. It is strongly recommended that the most vulnerable and insecurely attached children receive a programme of support within the context of a nurture group in which programmes such as Anger Alphabet can be incorporated and differentiated as appropriate. However, it is also evident that all children, in all contexts, will benefit from such an intervention – not just those who have difficulties in expressing anger and ‘strong’ feelings.

A Key Objective Clearly, the main objective of any kind of intervention for young people who have evident difficulties in this area is ultimately to engage them in the effective expression of anger, encouraging their ability to learn through self-reflection and experience and also building their self-esteem and confidence levels so that they can allow others to have their point of view and respect and tolerate difference. For those who do exhibit so-called problem anger, there are some significant, major, long-term effects that need to be considered. These include detrimental effects on physical and mental health; problems in family life and friendships/relationships; difficulties in achieving and being successful in a school or learning context; involvement with the law (e.g. when young people ‘lose it’ and engage in aggression and violence towards others there are inevitable consequences in terms of the criminal justice system); personal and social financial costs are also usually major long-term effects for the young person who exhibits a problem with anger. 10  The Anger Alphabet

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Setting Up a Group or Whole-class Intervention Anger management groups and schemes of work are fairly standard within many mainstream and special contexts. They are usually provided for children who have been identified as having difficulties in this area prior to the start of the course. However, in my experience it is essential to ensure that there is a balance of appropriate role models within the group. For example, one or two young people who have serious difficulties can usually be included within the group as they will provide an opportunity for some positive peer interactions and role models to emerge. At the outset it is vital that the children themselves understand the objectives of any such intervention: Why are they there? What are they doing? And why are they doing it? They need to be aware of the fact that this is not a negative intervention and it is, in effect, designed primarily to ensure that they remain included within the learning context. It is also an intervention designed to ensure that they develop the kinds of life skills that they will need in order to be successful later on in the workplace. For example, if you are someone who displays problem anger, it is highly likely that you will find it extremely difficult to hold down a job or maintain a positive relationship later on in your life. The idea here is to support students in developing their own internal locus of control and also to have a positive attitude towards change and self-management. Any anger management group needs to focus upon developing children’s self-esteem and selfconfidence while also encouraging them to develop their own self-management strategies, i.e. strategies that work for them. So while the facilitator may present a range of tried-and-trusted techniques, the idea here will primarily be for students to develop and maintain a repertoire of skills and strategies that actually work for them in the real world. Like stress, anger is personspecific and will require a personalised approach in order to ensure success.

Course Structure Any such course will begin with the setting of groundrules and introduce the concept of anger, usually by referring to Novaco’s anger model and the assault cycle. These are provided in Appendix 2 and discussed further on p. 20-21. There will be some form of pre-course assessment in which children can reflect upon their current levels of skills in this area. Very often these assessments can take the form of self-rating on a range of factual statements, for example, what do I know about my anger? `` `` `` `` `` ``

I understand why I get angry I understand why others get angry I know the triggers that start my anger I know how to stop my anger escalating I know what happens to my body when I get angry I understand the pattern of my angry outbursts Introduction 11

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`` `` `` `` `` `` `` `` `` `` `` `` `` ``

I know that I can cope when other students get angry I know that I can cope when adults get angry I can reflect on my behaviours I can set realistic targets for change I can plan ahead and predict my behaviours I have a system to solve my problems I can use self-calming strategies, e.g. counting, deep breathing, relaxation I can talk myself down I can use time out effectively I can use ‘I’ messages I can problem solve with friends I can problem solve with adults I can manage my stress I can understand how others are feeling and change my behaviours towards them if I think they are getting angry

Children can rate themselves against such statements on a scale of 0–10 (0 = not very much or never, 5 = medium amount/sometimes, 10 = a lot or almost always). This kind of pre course assessment can then be repeated at the end of the course and students can identify any developments that they have made in these key areas. The pre and post course assessment may also include the range of strategies or tools that are to be introduced by the facilitator. The initial session can also introduce a strong feelings diary. The central point of any kind of group work is to ensure that children keep a log, identifying difficult situations on a daily basis and particularly analysing the triggers to their anger: What was it that caused the problem? When did they lose it and why? What could then have been done in order to change the context for them? What could have made a difference in order to help them to de-escalate and diffuse the situation? The pre and post course checklist can be found in Appendix 1 and the strong feelings diary in Appendix 4.

Subsequent Sessions Review this strong feelings diary on a weekly basis while also introducing and discussing a range of anger management strategies and tools. As stated earlier, it is important to emphasise the fact that these are merely ideas and strategies that others have used or found helpful. Students themselves will not necessarily find all of these things helpful. The idea here is to present them with as many ideas as possible in order to ensure that they feel empowered and skilled up. Subsequent group sessions can then follow a similar pattern, reviewing this feelings diary, discussing how things could have been done differently or how they might have responded more positively, introducing and identifying anger management strategies, and planning and setting targets for the week ahead. 12  The Anger Alphabet

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The Anger Alphabet Programme The resources from the Anger Alphabet programme are intended to provide teachers and facilitators with a series of activities, strategies and tools for use within these subsequent sessions. It may be useful to follow the programme in sequence but this is not a prerequisite. The teacher can opt to choose useful strategies for any particular group at any given time. The Anger Alphabet programme is specifically designed to provide such support for teachers in their work with children. It is designed to dispel many of the fears surrounding this feeling of anger by providing the children (and teachers and parents) with a range of skills and strategies for coping with angry feelings and conflict situations safely and in an emotionally literate way. A central or core belief which underpins the programme is that it is OK and sometimes necessary to experience and show anger. What really counts is how we show that anger and what we do with it. The sessions in this programme aim to dispel any myth that anger is a ‘bad’ or ‘negative’ feeling, by encouraging the children to identify and understand the positive uses of anger and to identify their personal triggers to anger, via the modelling of safe and non-violent ways of expressing and responding to anger. It is hoped that the latter will ensure a more positive outcome and allow children to experience anger as a normal and healthy emotion that they can channel positively and also make use of in order to prompt positive choices, i.e. becoming solution- focused problem solvers (Rhodes & Ajmal 1995).

Objectives The 26 sessions in this programme consequently aim to meet the following objectives: `` To enable children to distinguish between behaviours and emotions. `` To encourage children to develop and make use of their own anger management strategies in order to manage these strong feelings more effectively. `` To teach children a range of anger spoilers which can be used in a variety of contexts/ problem situations. `` To encourage children to recognise the symptoms of anger in the early stages so that they can make a more considered choice as to how to deal with it. `` To raise children’s self-esteem and their locus of control, i.e. to encourage them to have internal control and to reject the ‘blame’ culture. `` To enable children to further develop and appreciate the perspectives of others, i.e. develop empathy. `` To encourage children to become more reflective and to further develop an emotional vocabulary and the descriptive language needed to objectively describe behaviour. `` To enable children to identify when they should feel/need to feel angry, e.g. if someone is behaving in a racist or abusive manner towards them. Introduction 13

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`` To enable children to choose when they need to take time out in order to cool down or calm down and to make appropriate use of such a strategy. `` To increase self-awareness and self-knowledge. `` To encourage children to learn and make use of alternatives to physical or verbal aggression/violence and to learn how to express their feelings and views in a positive and assertive way. `` To enable children to develop ways of coping effectively with the anger of others. `` To encourage children to recognise their own triggers to anger alongside those of their peers and adults in their social contexts. `` To recognise that feeling/experiencing anger can lead to a positive outcome or ensure a change for the better – particularly when it is initially handled in a positive way. `` To develop teachers’ and parents’ awareness and understanding of a range of strategies to effectively manage anger. `` To encourage teachers, and parents, to adopt a consistent approach in terms of developing a child’s emotional literacy, social skills and self-esteem. `` To enable teachers to review their current policy and practice in terms of managing both children’s and adults’ anger within the school context and to further develop ‘healthy’ initiatives and programmes which promote inclusive practice – particularly for those ‘angry’ pupils who present as being most at risk. The extent to which these objectives are met is perhaps the best indicator as to the success of the programme.

The Structure of the Programme The programme is divided into 26 sessions, each of which focuses on an aspect of anger management and provides a complete lesson, ideas for reinforcement and follow-on work. The lessons are arranged in the sequence of the alphabet as follows: A is for Anger – Focusing on my anger triggers. B is for Bottled-Up – Focusing on how we can control the explosion. C is for Cool It – Focusing on how we can cool ourselves down. D is fore Dynamite – Focusing on how we can learn to recognise our triggers and how to dampen the fuse. E is for Explosion – Focusing on how we can learn to avoid the explosion or cope more effectively with it. F is for Fuse – Focusing on how we can extend our fuse so that it becomes too long to burn. G is for Grumble Jar – Focusing on how we can sort out our grumbles. H is for Helping Yourself – Focusing on safe ways to manage angry feelings. 14  The Anger Alphabet

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I is for ‘I’ Messages – Focusing on how we can learn to tell others what we want and feel. J is for Joke – Focusing on the use of humour to deflect anger. K is for Kettle Boiling – Thinking about how we can turn the kettle off and let off steam safely. L is for Listening – Focusing on how peaceful music and listening to others can calm us down and keep our friendships positive. M is for Move It – Focusing on how we can let our anger out by taking exercise. N is for No – How we can learn to say ‘no’ to people who make us feel angry. O is for Outside – How we can take time out when the situation gets too hot. P is for Post It – How we can write problems down, post them and deal with them later. Q is for Quality Talk – How we can help each other to cope better by sharing and talking together. R is for Rules – How we can develop and keep our anger rules. S is for Shield – How our shields can protect us from angry feelings and hurtful words. T is for Traffic Lights – How we can use this stepped approach when we feel angry. U is for Understanding – Why it is important that we understand our own feelings and behaviours and those of others. V is for Vocabulary – How we need to learn the right words to express our angry feelings so that we can talk rather than hit out. W is for Wind Down – Using relaxation strategies to calm down. X is for X-ray Eyes – The importance of reading and understanding others’ anger. Y is for Yell – Considering times and places when yelling out your anger would be a good strategy and when it wouldn’t be appropriate. Z is for Zero – Visualising the tension scale in order to sort out anger problems.

The Structure of the Sessions Each of the sessions is structured to a five-point plan, as follows: `` Poster discussion (5 minutes) The teacher presents the poster and talks through the points indicated in the lesson plan. This activity will usually introduce or reinforce a specific anger management strategy or spoiler to the pupils. `` Questions for Circle Time (15 minutes) The teacher then poses a series of questions which pupils can answer and/or discuss in the circle. Introduction 15

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`` Worksheet (15 minutes) Pupils can complete the worksheet, which usually reinforces the concepts discussed during the Circle Time session. `` Plenary (10 minutes) During this part of the session the teacher engages the pupils in further conversations, enabling them to feed back on their work and their responses to the set activities or topics introduced. `` Ideas for follow-on work (time to be allocated at the teacher’s discretion), including outdoor activity ideas These aim to reinforce the strategy or skill introduced in the session and encourage pupils to practise the skill or strategy. NB All timings are suggested and can be adjusted to suit the individual group or class of children.

16  The Anger Alphabet

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Notes for Teachers Using the Programme These sessions can be used in a variety of ways, either with a small group or with a whole class. They can also be used as part of the literacy hour, when initial sounds are introduced or reinforced, or as part of the PSHE and citizenship curriculum. They can also be adapted for use in assemblies. As stated previously, they do not necessarily have to be delivered in sequence, but it is probably helpful to introduce anger as a normal, healthy emotion by delivering session one first.

Poster discussion It is helpful to enlarge the poster to A3 size and to have this on display in an accessible place in the room, e.g. on a white board or flip chart. At this point it is anticipated that the teacher takes the lead, making use of the guidance in the session plans. The posters provide the initial teaching points for each session, so it is important to start at this point in the lesson. Pupils may also wish to have their own individual copies of the poster which they can colour/decorate and file in individual work books or folders. It would be a good idea to create such booklets or work books at the outset as pupils can also store and file the activity sheets from each session.

Questions for Circle Time The questions to be posed during the Circle Time part of each lesson are detailed in the lesson plans and although these provide a useful framework for the teacher, they are not intended as any kind of straitjacket. Clearly, the teacher’s discretion and flexibility need to come into play at this point. However, it is important to highlight the need to arrange the room prior to the session so that the pupils can also sit on chairs in the circle. This gives them the respect they deserve and highlights that this is a valued and valuable activity to participate in. All the pupils need to be able to see each other and to establish eye contact. It also seems appropriate at this point to reinforce the fact that this part of the lesson focuses on developing the pupils’ emotional literacy, reinforcing and modelling of appropriate social skills, alongside promoting the selfesteem, confidence and positive relationships of all involved. It may be useful for the reader to refer to Lucky Duck Publishing’s extensive range of writing and materials on this subject. This is important, given that the author’s philosophy is consistent with these materials and does not support the use of Circle Time as a technique of control. As Burt et al. (1999: 6) state: Circle Time is the process of learning about one’s self and relationships with others in a safe, non blameful atmosphere. It is not seen as a controlling technique using sanctions and group pressure throughout the school day. General issues such as bullying, name calling and aggression in the playground can be discussed, but specific instances and individual children should never be Introduction 17

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identified. The improvement in behaviour will come from increased awareness and the development of empathy.

It is particularly important that teachers who deliver the Anger Alphabet programme support and fully endorse such a philosophy, given the nature and content of this programme. Ensuring a blame-free context, in which the pupils feel able to talk freely and express their feelings and emotions without fear of humiliation or punishment, is an essential aspect of the teacher’s role in delivering this programme. Consequently, it is advisable to formulate and agree a series of rules for Circle Time at the outset. These can be fairly simple and straightforward, as follows: `` One person talks at a time. `` We listen to each other and look at the person who is talking. `` We try to build on each other’s ideas and not laugh at them or attempt to put others down. `` We try to say positive and helpful things. `` People can pass if they need to think or don’t want to say anything. `` We don’t mention names. It is, however, vital that these are drawn up by the pupils who will be participating in the programme as they need to have a sense of ownership here and the rules need to be specific to the particular group.

Worksheet The photocopies of the worksheet can be presented to pupils as the set activity for the lesson. These are intended to generalise and reinforce the skills or strategies being taught. They usually require minimal amounts of recording, such as drawing, writing, etc, and can subsequently be stored in pupils’ individual folders or files. As this programme is intended for pupils in both Key Stages 1 and 2, there will be some children who may have underdeveloped recording skills and could consequently not complete the sheets independently. However, it does appear to be possible to differentiate the sheets and, in most cases, pupils can record ideas or responses in pictures or one-word labels. Clearly, the teacher can provide prompt words on the white board or flip chart and act as a scribe for pupils’ responses and ideas. It can also be helpful to set up buddy systems or paired working, as appropriate.

Plenary This part of the session allows for pupils to feed back their ideas and responses from the activity sheets. It is often useful for the teacher to scribe the main ideas covered on a flip chart or white board and to highlight examples that appear to be common to most pupils, while also reinforcing the strategies or techniques that will gain the pupils the best possible outcome. 18  The Anger Alphabet

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Ideas for Follow-on Work For each lesson, there is a range of suggested reinforcement or follow-on activities, which include ‘outdoor’ activities. These can be used at the teacher’s discretion. The main aim here is to reinforce the skills taught and to allow pupils the opportunity to model and practise the skills and perhaps to further reflect upon and evaluate their own progress in developing their anger management. Clearly, with the current time constraints of the curriculum, it is not anticipated that teachers will be able to cover all of the activities listed. However, it may be possible to choose one or two that seem most appropriate for the group or class. Also, pupils may like to choose their own activities from the list and complete them for homework or in their own free time.

Introduction 19

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Appendices The appendices contains a range of resources which are designed to specifically support the implementation/delivery of an anger management programme at both the individual and group level.

1. Anger Alphabet – Pre and Post Course Checklist The pre and post course checklist is designed to help children (and adults) reflect upon and access knowledge, behaviours and key skills in the area of self-management. It is advised that the teacher/key adult reads each statement to or with the child subsequent to explaining the rating process. The idea here is to promote honest self-reflection and the identification of future goals and aspirations. The process can be undertaken both pre and post intervention and should then allow for the formulation of an accurate picture of the progress made alongside areas for future development.

2. Anger Models Making use of anger models is particularly useful when working with young people and children in schools as they provide a useful visual model for understanding how anger occurs. Novaco’s model for Anger Arousal is particularly useful. The idea here is that when presented with this three-dimensional representation of a firework model even younger children are able to understand the idea that they need to avoid the triggers to anger (e.g., specific situations, times, words or people, etc). In this way they can help to reduce or minimise their impact and have the opportunity to reframe their triggers and responses. The metaphor of a storm is also useful in terms of creating a bigger picture which includes how the environment impacts upon the individual, i.e. what is it in that situation that triggers my negative emotions and begins to create the storm both in my mind and in my feelings? This metaphor can be further supported by referring to Breakwell’s Assault Cycle (1997). This assault cycle details the stages that we go through when we experience anger and reach a crisis phase in terms of expressing that anger. The trigger phase is the event which ignites the person’s fuse in this model, while the escalation phase is that in which the body prepares for either flight or fight. The crisis phase is the point at which the person can’t make any rational judgement or show any empathy for others – this is the critical bit and leads to the outburst, prior to the plateau/recovery phase. It is at this point that the individual is vulnerable to further assaults from others and it is very easy to re-escalate the problem. This is why when school-based staff are considering developing any kind of anger management policy they need to be aware of the fact that in order to recover from an outburst of anger the recovery phase for so-called normal adults can usually take up to 90 minutes after a serious incident.

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The body does not return to normal in physiological terms until after this period of time has elapsed. It is therefore useful for school staff to consider waiting at least 45 minutes to an hour before discussing major incidents with pupils. This means that there needs to be some kind of time out room or facility in which students can have the opportunity to calm down in the presence of a significant adult.

3. Pre and Post Course Observation Checklist The observation checklist is intended to provide teachers and support staff with a means of measuring overall well-being and the child’s development of social and emotional selfmanagement skills. This can be completed pre and post any intervention in order to gain both an initial baseline assessment and a measure of progress.

4. Strong Feelings Diary The strong feelings diary takes the following format: children can be asked to keep a feelings diary for a week, writing down what made them angry, upset or stressed (triggers), how they felt (feelings), what they did (behaviour) and what happened next (consequences). They can rate themselves on a scale of 1–10 on how well they cope with these strong feelings prior to considering how they might cope more effectively in a similar situation in the future, i.e. what were the strategies that worked well and what do they need to do to develop their skills further.

5. Format for Group Work This format provides the teacher with a structure for running an anger management group intervention, outlining contents of the initial session, including the setting up of group rules, expectations and the use of the strong feelings diary as a monitoring and self-review process. The format for subsequent sessions is also provided alongside that for the final review at the end of the intervention. This is a useful prompt tool which still requires the teacher to identify the key learning that will take place (in terms of strategies) within each session.

6. Time Out Vouchers This photocopiable resource can be laminated and cut to size (as appropriate) and used by children as part of their individualised programme of support. Clearly, school-based staff will need to monitor their use and ensure a safe haven is available to the child where they can reflect upon behaviours and have the opportunity to talk through any issues and calm down prior to returning to the classroom. Introduction 21

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7. Top Tips for Teachers The top tips for teachers handout offers some practical advice which is evidence based. The idea here is to provide teachers with some tried and tested strategies which actually work in terms of managing children’s anger and associated behaviours.

8. Top Tips for Parents The top tips for parents is also a useful handout which reinforces tried-and-tested strategies for managing a child’s behaviour and responses.

9. Top Tips/Strategies for Children This list of top tips and strategies can be used to provide the child with a bank of resources and ideas. It will also be useful for the teacher to refer to them when supporting an individual to develop their range/bank of helpful skills and tools. However, with all the suggested strategies, it is particularly important that children are given the opportunity to actually practise them and review them on a weekly basis. This is the whole purpose of any anger management intervention. It is not simply to present students with a list of tools and ideas; it is also to provide them with opportunities to practise them, try them out and evaluate them. What works for me? Why does it work? What do I need to do differently in that situation next time? The key to this particular approach is to try the strategies and then reflect continuously as to why they did or didn’t work. It is also vital that both staff and students remain solution-focused. If it doesn’t work, have another go, try again, try something different and keep trying until you find what works for you.

10. Behaviour Monitoring Chart This format provides an easy and relatively quick means of monitoring a young child’s behaviour. The teacher/support assistant/playground supervisor merely has to tick against/shade in the relevant face for each part of the school day. This is also a useful visual means of feeding back to younger children.

11. Reward Sticker Chart Once a specific target has been agreed with a child, then he/she can be rewarded via this sticker chart. This enables the staff member to reward the child as they are ‘caught being good’ and/or managing anger effectively throughout the school day. There is an opportunity to receive up to three stickers a day and the child and teacher can agree an appropriate ‘big’ reward for the end of the day/week, as deemed necessary to maintain motivation. 22  The Anger Alphabet

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12. Information Sheet on Attachment Disorders This information sheet provides a summary of attachment disorders and a useful reference source for parents/carers/teachers who may be concerned about a particular child and wish to refer on to a specialist agency or develop a more appropriate and differentiated programme of support.

13. Strategy Sheet : Attachment Disorders This sheet provides parents/carers and school-based staff with some useful strategies for effectively managing the child with attachment disorder.

14. Nurture Group Information Sheet This sheet describes the nature and purpose of nurture groups and how these interventions can support the well-being and development of young children who have missed out on early learning and socialising experiences.

Looking Forward This programme does not and cannot provide the answers to all the problems all of the time. It is hoped, however, that by making use of some of these resources, teachers, pupils and parents may begin to effect positive changes and realise that anger can be a positive motivator and does not necessarily have to be ‘negative’ or ‘bad’. Also, that the strategies and techniques introduced really can work and help to make a difference in people’s lives if they are consistently modelled and practised within a non-judgemental and secure framework. Such a framework, by necessity, needs to be emotionally literate and to foster and promote the emotional literacy of all involved and included within it. Perhaps introducing this kind of programme may help to further promote and develop thinking, practice and policy in schools – prompting staff not only to reflect upon their own skills, but also to begin to consider the best ways of fostering and further developing the skills of the children in their care. On a personal note, I feel that it is important to highlight the fact that the Anger Alphabet programme has been most successful in schools that have established a clear policy about anger and anger management within the wider policy area of emotional literacy. Staff in these schools have been able to identify and agree appropriate expressions of anger, how they will validate anger, how they will handle disputes among children or between adults, children and staff members, and how teachers will encourage each other and the pupils to create change. Such policies have also been shared and developed with parents and this has allowed for the most successful and holistic approach.

Introduction 23

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References and Further Reading Anholt, C. & Anholt, L. (2006) What Makes Me Happy? Walker Books Ltd, London. Apter, T. (1997) The Confident Child. Norton, New York and London. Baker, P. (1998) Here’s Health Magazine, March 20–22. Berler, E.S., Gross, A.M., & Drabman, R.S. (1982) Social skills training with children: proceed with caution, Journal of Applied Behaviour Analysis, 15, 41–53. Bennathan, M. & Boxall, M. (2000) Effective Intervention in Primary Schools: Nurture Groups. David Fulton Publishers, London. Bennathan, M. and Rose, J. (2008) All About Nurture Groups. Nurture Group Network, London. Bliss, T., Robinson, G., & Maines, B. (1995) Developing Circle Time. Lucky Duck, Bristol. Bliss, T. & Tetley, J. (1993) Circle Time. Lucky Duck, Bristol. Boxall, M. (1998) The Boxall Profile: Handbook for Teachers. Nurture Group Network, London. Boxall, M. (2002) Nurture Groups in Schools: Principles and Practice. Sage/Paul Chapman, London. Breakwell, G.M. (1997) Coping with Aggressive Behaviour. British Psychological Society, Leicester. Bruce, T. (1997) Early Childhood Education. Hodder and Stoughton, London. Burt, S., Davies, G., Lister, J., Morgan, R., & O’Shea, S. (1999) Six Years of Circle Time – A Curriculum for Key Stages 1 & 2. Lucky Duck, Bristol. Carle, E. (2010) The Bad Tempered Ladybird. Puffin, London. Cartledge, G. & Milburn, J.F. (eds) (1980) Teaching Social Skills to Children. Pergamon Press, New York. Casey, J. (2002) Getting It Right: A Behaviour Curriculum. Lucky Duck, Bristol. Cooke, T.P. & Apolloni, T. (1976) Developing positive social-emotional behaviours: A study of training and generalization effects, Journal of Applied Behaviour Analysis, 9, 65–78. Dowling, M. (2000) Young Children’s Personal, Social and Emotional Development. Paul Chapman, London. Dunn, J. (1994) Understanding others and the social world: Current issues in development research and their relation to pre-school experience and practice, Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology, 15, 578–83. Eisenber, N., Fabes, R., Murphy, B., Karbon, M., & Smith, M. (1996) The relations of children’s disposition: empathy related responding to their emotional regulation and social functioning, Developmental Psychology, 32 (2), 192–209. Ekman, P. (1992) An argument for basic emotions, Cognition & Emotion, 6, 169–200. Elias, M.J. & Clabby, J. (1992) Building Social Problem Solving Skills: Guidelines from a School Based Programme. JosseyBass, San Francisco. Evers, W.L. & Schwarz, J.C. (1973) Modifying social withdrawal in preschoolers: the effects of filmed modelling and teacher praise, Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, 1(3): 248–56. Faber, A., & Mazlish, E. (1982) How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk. Avon Books, New York. Faupel, A., Herrick, E., & Sharp, P. (1998) Anger Management – A Practical Guide. David Fulton Publishers, London. Feindler, E. & Ecton, R. (1986) Adolescent Anger Control: Cognitive Behavioural Techniques. Pergamon Press, New York. Goleman, D. (1996) Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ. Bloomsbury, London. Goleman, D. (1998) Working with Emotional Intelligence. Bloomsbury, London. Grant, W.T. (1992) Consortium on the School Based Promotion of Social Competence, Drug and Alcohol Prevention Curricula. Jossey-Bass, San Francisco. Greenberg, M.T. & Kusche, C.A. (1993) Promoting Social and Emotional Development in Deaf Children: The PATH Programme. University of Washington Press, Seattle, WA. Gresham, F., & Nagle, R. (1980) Social Skills training with children : responsiveness to modelling and coaching as a function of peer orientation, Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 48, 718–29. Gross, J. (2000) The Emotional Literacy Hour: Teaching for Achievement in Bristol Schools. Lucky Duck, Bristol. Higgs, M. & Dulewicz, V. (1999) Making Sense of Emotional Intelligence. NFER-Nelson, Windsor.

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Hogan, P.Z. (1980) Sometimes I Get So Mad. Raintree Childrens Books, USA. Hops, H. & Greenwood, C.R. (1981) Social skills deficit, in E.J. Marsh & L.G. Terdal (eds), Behavioural Assessment of Childhood Disorders. Guilford Press, New York. Hyson, M.C. (1994) The Emotional Development of Young Children: Building an Emotion Centred Curriculum. Teachers College Press, New York. Jackson, F.N., Jackson, A.D., & Monroe, C. (1983) Getting along with Others: Teaching Social Effectiveness to Children. Program Guide. Research Press, Champaign, IL. Johnson, P. & Rae, T. (1999) Crucial Skills – An Anger Management and Problem Solving Teaching Programme for High School Students. Lucky Duck, Bristol. Ladd, G.W. (1981) Social Skills and peer acceptance: Effects of a social learning method for training verbal social skills, Child Development, 52, 171–8. LaGreca, A.M. & Santogrossi, D.A. (1980) Social skills training with elementary school students: A behavioural group approach, Journal for Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 48, 220–7. Le Mare, L.J., & Rubin, K.H. (1987) Perspective taking and peer interaction: A structural analysis, Child Development, 58, 306–15. McCarthy, K. & Park, J. (1998) Learning by Heart: The Role of Emotional Education in Raising School Achievement. Calouste Gulbenkian Foundation, London. McKee, D. (1987) Two Monsters. Andersen Press, London. McKee, D. (1988) Not Now Bernard. Red Fox, London Meltzer, H., Gatward, R., Goodman, R., & Ford, T. (2000). The Mental Health of Young Children and Adolescents in Great Britain, A report for the Mental Health Foundation. Stationery Office, London. Mental Health Foundation (1999) The Bigger Picture: Promoting Children and Young People’s Mental Health. Mental Health Foundation, London. Mize, J. & Ladd, G.W. (1990) Toward the development of successful social skills training for pre-school children, in S.R. Asher & J.D. Core (eds) Peer Rejection in Childhood. Cambridge University Press, London, pp. 338–61. Moohey, B. (1996) Why Me? Mammoth, London. Moser, A.J. (1988) Don’t Pop Your Cork on Mondays!: The Children’s Anti-Stress Book, Landmark Editions. Kansas City, MO. Oram, H.& Kitamura, S. (1993) Angry Arthur. Red Fox, London. Orbach, S. (1998) ‘Emotional Literacy’, Young Minds Magazine. 33 (Mar./Apr.),12–13. Park, J. (1999) (Director of Antidote: The Campaign for Emotional Literacy) Unpublished paper presented at South of England Psychology Services Conference, December 1999. Rae, T. (1998) Dealing with Feeling – An Emotional Literacy Curriculum. Lucky Duck, Bristol. Rae, T. (2000a) Confidence, Assertiveness, Self-esteem – A Series of 12 Sessions for Secondary School Students. Lucky Duck, Bristol. Rae, T. (2000b) Purr-fect Skills – A Social and Emotional Skills Programme for 5–8 year olds. Lucky Duck, Bristol. Rae, T. (2001) Strictly Stress – Effective Stress Management. Lucky Duck, Bristol. Rae, T. & Robinson, G. (2002) Keep Your Cool! Stress Reducing Strategies for Key Stage 2 and 3. Lucky Duck, Bristol. Rhodes, J. & Ajmal, Y. (1995) Solution Focused Thinking in Schools: Behaviour, Reading & Organisation. BT Press, London. Rinaldi, W. (1992) The Social Use of Language Programme. NFER-Nelson, Windsor. Rogers, B. (2000) Classroom Behaviour. Paul Chapman Publishing, London. Rudd, B. (1998) Talking is for Kids – Emotional Literacy for Infant School Children. Lucky Duck, Bristol. Schroeder, A. (1996) Socially Speaking. LDA, Cambridge. Sharp, P. (2001) Nurturing Emotional Literacy: A Practical Guide for Teachers, Parents and Those in the Caring Professions. David Fulton Publishers, London. Sheldon, B. (1995) Cognitive Behavioural Therapy: Research, Practice and Philosophy. Routledge, London. Silver, N. & Park, J. (2010) Temper Temper! Worth Publishing, Richmond. Introduction 25

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Stacey, H. & Robinson, P. (1997) Let’s Mediate: A Teacher’s Guide to Peer Support and Conflict Resolution Skills for All Ages. Lucky Duck, Bristol. Sunderland, M. & Engleheart, P. (1993) Draw on Your Emotions. Speechmark, Oxford. Townson, H. & Ross, T. (1999) Terrible Tuesday. Anderson Press, London. Van Hasselt, V.B., Hersen, M., Whitehall, M.B., & Bellack, A.S. (1979) Social skill assessment and training for children: An evaluative review, Behaviour Research and Therapy, 17, 413–37. Warden, E. & Christie, E. (1997) Teaching Social Behaviour. David Fulton Publishers, London. Weare, K. & Gray, G. (2003) What Works in Developing Children’s Emotional and Social Competence and Wellbeing? Department for Education and Skills, London. Whitehouse, E. & Pudney, W. (1996) A Volcano in My Tummy: Helping Children to Handle Anger. New Society Publishers, Gabriola Island, BC, Canada. Zins, J., Weissberg, R., Wang, M., & Walberg, H. (eds) (2004) Building Academic Success on Social and Emotional Learning. Teachers College Press, New York.

26  The Anger Alphabet

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A is for Anger

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Session 1: A is for Anger Poster discussion | 5 minutes Show the pupils the ‘A for Anger’ poster and talk through the following points: `` Anger is a normal, healthy emotion and something that everyone will experience at some point in their everyday lives. `` Sometimes it is right to be angry, for example, if someone is being racist or unkind towards you. `` It is important that we can recognise the things that make us feel angry so that we can learn to express our anger in a safe way.

Questions for Circle Time | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to consider the following questions in a Circle Time session: `` What makes you feel angry? `` How do you know that you are getting angry? (Describe how you feel physically, that is, heart beating faster, going red in the face, etc) `` Can you describe a time when you felt very angry? What happened? What did you do or say? And how did your anger affect those people around you?

Worksheet | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to complete the worksheet, ‘My Anger Triggers’. Prior to this, talk briefly about the ‘Stop, Think, Reflect’ process and how pupils can make use of this when they feel themselves getting angry. Pupils can record their ideas on the sheet, either by writing brief notes or drawing and/or labelling mini pictures. The worksheets can be coloured in as appropriate.

Plenary | 10 minutes Ask the pupils to feed back their responses, possibly choosing one example each and highlight any similarities and differences. The teacher can choose one example that appears to be common to most pupils, for example, ‘I get angry when people say nasty things to me or about me.’ The teacher can then model how pupils can use the ‘Stop, Think, Reflect’ strategy introduced

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in the worksheet. This is a self-taught strategy aiming to encourage a stepped approach to solving problems and coping with anger. For example: STOP ‘I am feeling angry and fed up.’ THINK  ‘What can I do about this?’ Consider the options ‘I could hit them or walk away or fight or kick or tell an adult’ etc. REFLECT  Which is the best thing to do? Which would get me the best outcome? Try it out! The teacher can encourage pupils to make use of this strategy during the coming week.

Ideas for follow-on work `` Read Angry Arthur (Hiawyna Oram & Satoshi Kitamura, 1993) to the children and discuss why Arthur gets angry (he is not allowed to watch his favourite TV programme). It may be useful for the teacher to formulate a series of questions to trigger pupils’ thinking about this story. `` Pupils can draw themselves feeling and looking really angry. It may be useful to label all the different parts of the body which show that they are feeling angry, for example, a red face, clenched fists, steaming ears, or a frown, etc. `` Pupils can make up an angry timeline showing Arthur getting angry at the start of the day and how his anger grows and grows and becomes more damaging to his environment. `` Pupils can try to make use of the ‘Stop, Think, Reflect’ strategy over the coming week and make a note of any times when this may have worked for them. `` Outdoor activity idea: pupils can play outdoor transparent painting. They will need the following materials: `` Long strip of clear plastic (sheet), tempera paints (lots of colours), paint brushes, wire to hold up the plastic sheet, and a fence. The pupils can help in attaching the plastic to the fence, thereby encouraging participation and the use of large motor skills. Ask the pupils to paint the ‘canvas’ with any images they like, or you can provide ideas according to your theme which would be ‘A for Anger!’

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A is for Anger Anger is a normal, healthy emotion. We need to feel angry to protect ourselves and we need to learn about our own triggers to anger.

We can learn how to express anger in a safe way without hurting ourselves. 30

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My Anger Triggers Stop

Think

Reflect

What makes you feel angry? Write or draw your ideas on the Brainstorming Chart.

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B is for Bottled-Up Bottled-Up Sometimes, if we bottle-up our anger it can make the explosion worse.

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Stop and think before you take out the cork. Who will you tell? Why? What will happen then?

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Session 2: B is for Bottled-Up Poster discussion | 5 minutes Show the pupils the ‘B is for Bottled-Up’ poster and talk through the following points: `` Sometimes we can bottle-up our anger and this can be quite an uncomfortable experience. `` There will be times when it is important to keep our anger in and be able to wait and hold on to it. For example, if someone has upset you in class you may need to hold on to that anger if you haven’t got access to the teacher straight away in order to explain what has happened. `` Other people can help us with our anger by talking things through and identifying solutions that we might not have considered ourselves. `` Keeping things bottled-up can be the cause of stress and it is very important to find healthy outlets for these feelings.

Questions for Circle Time | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to consider the following questions in a Circle Time session: `` When have you been able to keep your anger in so that you didn’t cause an explosion for yourselves and others? `` Who can help you and talk you through your anger? `` When is it important to hold on to anger? Can you think of some examples?

Worksheet | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to complete the worksheet ‘B is for Bottled-Up’. Explain to the pupils that if we bottle-up our anger it can frequently make the ensuing explosion far worse. Ask the pupils to record something that has made them feel angry in the past which they have kept ‘bottled-up’ and then to identify the person that they could talk to in order to get some help with this problem. This can be done by drawing or writing brief notes in the bottle.

Plenary | 10 minutes Ask the pupils to feed back their responses and highlight any similarities or differences. It may be useful to reinforce the distinction between healthy and unhealthy anger. For example, unhealthy

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anger usually occurs when we bottle-up our feelings and become stressed and even more upset. It may be useful to highlight some simple stress-reducing strategies, such as: `` Talk through your problem with a friend. `` Get yourself out of the situation so that you can calm down quietly. `` Draw an imaginary bubble around yourself, imagine a calm and peaceful place in your head. `` Write a note or draw a picture about your problem and hand this to your teacher or carer. The teacher can encourage the pupils to make use of these strategies during the coming week.

Ideas for follow-on work `` Read Terrible Tuesday (Hazel Townson & Tony Ross, 1999) to the children. In this story Terry overhears his mother talking on the telephone about how terrible Tuesday is going to be. Consequently, Terry begins to think of all the possible disasters and in the end the reality turns out to be quite the opposite. This is a useful book for helping the children to remain positive and to look on the positive side of life. `` Ask the children to write and/or draw about a time when they have made a situation worse than it was by worrying about it and getting angry and upset unnecessarily. `` Design posters entitled ‘Looking on the Bright Side’. `` Ask pupils to keep a diary for the week and to record a positive event for each day and/or occasions when they have bottled-up their anger in a healthy way or ‘un-bottled’ their anger in a healthy way. `` Outdoor activity idea: this ‘hot potato’ game encourages the children to play co-operatively while becoming increasingly aware of each other’s personal space. The teacher places a medium-sized ball in the centre of a circle along with a child chosen to be ‘it’. The child who is ‘it’ pushes the ball with his or her feet, trying to get it out of the circle. The other children try to stop the ball with their feet. Once the ball is out, another leader is chosen. The ball is called the ‘hot potato’ and the children will have a great deal of fun in attempting to keep it in the oven!

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B is for Bottled-Up B is for Bottled-Up

Sometimes we can bottle-up our anger. Sometimes we need to open the bottle and try to sort out the problems with help from our friends.

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Bottled-Up Bottled-Up Sometimes, if we bottle-up our anger it can make the explosion worse. Sometimes, if we bottle-up our anger it can make the explosion worse.

Stop and think before you take out the cork. Who will you tell? Why? What

Stop and think before you take out the cork. Who will you tell? Why? will happen then? What will happen then? 28 36

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C is for Cool It

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Session 3: C is for Cool It Poster discussion | 5 minutes Show the pupils the ‘C is for Cool It’ poster and talk through the following points: `` When you get angry your body changes and you feel physically different. `` Sometimes you may begin to feel hot and uncomfortable and you might feel your heart racing or beating faster, your face may go red and hot. `` These physical symptoms are caused by chemical reactions, for example, adrenaline being secreted from the adrenal glands. (It may be useful to have a poster to show children where the adrenal gland is and how this process occurs.)

Questions for Circle Time | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to consider the following questions in a Circle Time session: `` When do we need to calm down and cool down? `` What helps us to cool down? `` How can we help each other, both in the classroom and outside in the playground, to keep our cool?

Worksheet | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to complete the worksheet ‘Cool and Calm’. Prior to this it may be useful to brainstorm with the pupils a list of cool and calm words and to record these on a white board or flip chart. This can act as a prompt for pupils in completing the worksheet. It may also be useful to consider words that can be labelled as ‘hot’ words, i.e. words that will hurt us or make us feel angry or upset. The teacher can emphasise or model how pupils can use this strategy by sharing his or her own cool words. For example, ‘These are my cool words that help me to cool down when I am feeling angry. For example, drooping, dripping, blue waters, breezes, gentle, cool winds, etc.’

Plenary | 10 minutes Ask the pupils to feed back their responses and highlight the similarities and differences. It may be useful to record a class ‘Cool It’ list of shared words and to display this in the classroom throughout the course of the project.

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Highlight the kinds of colours and shapes the pupils agreed to be cool and calm and discuss how making use of a visualisation strategy can sometimes help us to cool down. The teacher can model this strategy by sharing, ‘When I feel angry and need to calm down I close my eyes and imagine the following cool and calm shapes and colours…’ . The teacher can encourage the pupils to make use of this strategy for themselves during the coming week.

Ideas for follow-on work `` Thinking about happy things can sometimes help us to calm down and cool down. Read the story What Makes Me Happy (Catherine Anholt and Laurence Anholt, 2006). `` Children can draw a picture of the thing, place or person that makes them feel happiest in the whole world and then use this as their visualisation tool when/if they get upset or angry in the coming week. `` Pupils can work in groups and formulate two lists, one of hot words and one of cool words, i.e. things that can help their friends to calm down and things which will make matters worse. `` As the whole class group, it may be helpful to agree a series of class ‘Cool It’ rules which will support everybody in managing their anger and associated uncomfortable feelings. `` Outdoor activity idea: cool down with the outdoor car wash! The children will need to be provided with a range of toy/riding cars, trikes and bikes, sponges and shallow dishes of soapy water. The teacher can set up an area where the children can pretend to be a car wash. Place many shallow bowls containing soap and water outside and give each child a sponge. Promote sharing and co-operation as the children work together washing the cars. However, it must be a nice day, warm weather and teacher supervision is absolutely a MUST at all times.

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C is for Cool It

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Cool and Calm Make a list of cool and calm words that you can use when you feel angry. _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________

Draw/paint a picture to illustrate these words. Think of cool colours and calm shapes. How does the picture make you feel? What will you call your picture?

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D is for D is for Dynamite

Dynamite

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Session 4: D is for Dynamite Poster discussion | 5 minutes Show the pupils the ‘D is for Dynamite’ poster and talk through the following points: `` It can sometimes be helpful to think of the anger process in terms of this visual image. `` There will always be triggers that are specific to each individual. Consequently, it is very important that we all become aware of our triggers if we are going to be able to manage anger effectively. `` The idea here is to lengthen the fuse as much as possible so that it can eventually be dampened out. (This is an extremely powerful image that will be referred to throughout the project and many of the strategies taught will clearly have the same objective, i.e. to lengthen the fuse so that children have the time to manage their anger more effectively.)

Questions for Circle Time | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to consider the following questions in a Circle Time session: `` What is your biggest trigger to anger? `` What is your smallest trigger? `` What do you do to trigger anger in your Mum/best friend/teacher, etc?

Worksheet | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to complete the worksheet ‘It’s Dynamite!’. The idea here is for pupils to be able to identify situations that are real dynamite for them, i.e. those situations that make them angry very quickly, and to consider ways in which they might be able to help themselves in these situations. The worksheet also highlights the need to enlist the support of other people at some points and particularly in these kinds of ‘dynamite’ situations. It is important for the teacher to emphasise the fact that we all need help with our anger at some point and particularly when faced with a ‘dynamite’ situation. Asking for help and identifying who can help us is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of strength in that we are able to help ourselves more effectively.

Plenary | 10 minutes Ask the pupils to feed back their responses, asking for one example per pupil. Again, it may be helpful to highlight similarities and differences. The teacher can choose one example that seems to be common to many of the pupils in the class and to record this on a white board or flip chart. It might be helpful to then ask the children to identify the best possible strategies in order 43

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to cope effectively with this ‘dynamite’ situation. At this point it may be relevant to highlight the fact that, even if people share a similar or the same trigger, they may not necessarily make use of the same strategy to help themselves in this situation. For example, we won’t all take a deep breath or use the ‘Stop, Think, Reflect’ process. It is important to emphasise that pupils need to identify what works well for them alongside ways in which they can support each other.

Ideas for follow-on work `` ‘Dynamite’ situations often lead us to fight. Share the story Two Monsters (David McKee, 1987) with the children. This is a classic picture book which tells the story of two fighting monsters who, in their anger, manage to destroy the mountain which separates them. It is only when they have accomplished this that they realise there was no reason to fight in the first place and the consequences are damaging. `` Pupils can design their own cartoon characters in the style of David McKee’s monsters and identify a different or more positive outcome for the two monsters. `` Pupils can write their own script/draw their own cartoon strip with the title ‘Captain Cool It’ or ‘Dynamite Dan’. `` The teacher can encourage pupils to look out for ‘dynamite’ situations in the coming week and to try to use the strategies they have identified. `` Outdoor activity idea: the teacher can set up a treasure hunt for the children in order to promote the notion of sharing. The materials needed are as follows: small plastic gold coins, inexpensive beaded necklaces, small rings, play money, and a treasure box decorated by the children. A map made by the teacher for the children to follow. The teacher must first hide the treasure-filled box in a good hiding place in the playground/play area. Next, the teacher will prepare a creative map for the children to follow, i.e. outside, start at the tree in the bike area. Look up and find another clue. The second clue might have a rhyme or just say ‘now walk 25 steps until you come to the playhouse’ etc. Finally, when the children come to the place where the treasure is buried or hidden, they will open it and take turns sharing the treasure inside.

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D is for Dynamite We can learn to recognise our triggers and learn how to dampen the fuse.

D is for Dynamite

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It’s Dynamite! It’s Dynamite! Identify two situations that are `dynamite` for you and make you Identify twoangry, situations that are ‘dynamite’ for you and make you feel feel very very quickly.

very angry, very quickly.

1

2

Think two things thatsituations. you can do to Helpofyourself in these help yourself in these situations. Situation 1 Situation 2 Situation 1 Situation 2 1 _________________________ 1 ________________________ ________________________ 1_________________________ 1 2 _________________________ 2 ________________________ ________________________ ________________________

2

Who else can help you? How?

2

_______________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________

Who else can help you? How? _______________________________________________________________________ 46

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E is for Explosion

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Session 5: E is for Explosion Poster discussion | 5 minutes Show the pupils the ‘E is for Explosion’ poster and talk through the following points: `` Everybody at some point in time will experience a real anger explosion. `` This is quite normal and not something that we should feel frightened about, i.e. the flight or fight mechanism is something which actually keeps us safe. `` However, it is important for us to learn how to avoid some of these explosions if we can, or to deal with them as effectively as we can after the event.

Questions for Circle Time | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to consider the following questions in a Circle Time session: `` When did you feel that you experienced an explosion? `` How did you feel and what did you do? `` How do you think you could have avoided the explosion or dealt with it more effectively?

Worksheet | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to complete the worksheet ‘The Explosion’. The experiences that they have identified and discussed during the Circle Time should make this reasonably straightforward. Pupils may wish to draw a series of pictures or write a short story or description of the event. What is important is to emphasise the fact that there are antecedents, behaviours and consequences, i.e. that many things will have happened over time in order to create this kind of explosion. The worksheets can be coloured in or designed, as appropriate.

Plenary | 10 minutes Ask the pupils to feed back their responses and, again, highlight any similarities and differences. The worksheet activity asks pupils to consider ways that they may have been able to prevent or stop the explosion, alongside identifying others who might have helped them in the process. Ask the pupils to share these ideas. The teacher can draw up a list of helpful strategies and perhaps record these on a white board or flip chart.

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Ideas for follow-on work `` Ask pupils to make up stories entitled ‘The Day I Got Very, Very Angry’. `` Pupils can paint pictures of angry explosions using angry colours, shapes and designs. `` When we get angry and it is this type of explosive anger, which can very often lead to fighting, particularly in the playground, the teacher can ask the pupils to consider ways that they might be able to help each other in order to avoid these kinds of explosions. Pupils can draw up a list of playground rules, which they can illustrate and display in the classroom. `` Keep an ‘Explosion Diary’ for the coming week. Ask pupils to record any of the major incidents and to see if they can identify the antecedents, the behaviours and the consequences, and to try to consider what could have happened to reduce the negative impact of some of these behaviours, i.e. what would they suggest could achieve a better outcome in future? `` Outdoor activity idea: the children can play ‘explosion statues’. The teacher will need a large drum with which he/she can make a large ‘explosive’ bang. The children are asked to run around the outside play area until they hear the explosion. They are then required to freeze like a statue. Children who do this last or move will be ‘out’ and asked to sit to one side until the game is finished and there is an overall winner.

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E is for Explosion We need to learn how to avoid the explosion and how to cope with it effectively.

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The Explosion Write or draw about `The Day I Exploded`.

Stop and Think How could you have stopped the explosion? Who else could have helped you?

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F is for Fuse

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Session 6: F is for Fuse Poster discussion | 5 minutes Show the pupils the ‘F is for Fuse’ poster and talk through the following points: `` Just as we can visualise anger in terms of an explosion or a pack of dynamite waiting to be lit, we can also make use of the visual image of a time bomb. `` The main aim of any anger management strategy is to avoid setting off the time bomb or setting off the explosion. This can be done by extending the fuse. `` If the fuse is extended sufficiently, it will take too long to burn and as a consequence the flame will be extinguished and the bomb will not go off.

Questions for Circle Time | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to consider the following questions in a Circle Time session: `` Name three things that would immediately light your fuse. `` Identify three things that you can do that might extinguish your fuse. `` How can you help your friends to do likewise?

Worksheet | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to complete the worksheet ‘Extend Your Fuse’. The previous Circle Time activity will already have prompted pupils’ thinking and once again will enable this to be a straightforward activity. Pupils are asked to identify and record three things that they can do to extend their fuse or avoid the explosion. The second part of the activity requires them to identify ways in which they might be able to help their friend. It might be useful to again reinforce the fact that anger can be person-specific, i.e. what extends your fuse may not necessarily extend that of your friend.

Plenary | 10 minutes Ask the pupils to feed back one of their strategies and highlight the similarities and differences. It may be helpful for the teacher to draw a fuse on the white board or flip chart and to record pupils’ ideas along the edge of this. The more ideas that are available or offered will consequently lengthen the fuse drawn and reinforce this notion of an anger continuum, which can be extended and managed more effectively. The teacher can encourage pupils to visualise their own personal fuse by making use of this strategy during the coming week. 53

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Ideas for follow-on work `` Pupils can draw their own fuses on long strips of paper and record, either in writing or in pictures, all the different strategies they can use in order to extinguish their fuse. `` These individual fuses can be used to formulate a class display. `` Pupils can write stories entitled ‘Time Bomb’, in which they can describe someone who gets angrier and angrier throughout the course of a school day. They can identify the different triggers, behaviours and responses that achieved a negative outcome for the pupil in question. `` Read the pupils Not Now Bernard (David McKee, 1988). This is a classic story about alienation and can be used to discuss how pupils feel if they are ignored and to consider whether anger is really the best way to respond to this kind of problem. `` Outdoor activity idea: the children can be asked to move quietly into the outside area and find a comfortable place to sit in total quiet. This is in order to listen out for ‘nature sounds’. They can record these in note form or in diagrams on a sheet of A4 card/paper and then try to work out which nature sounds were angry, excited, gentle, calm or scary.

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F is for Fuse We can extend our fuse so that it is too long to burn – then the bomb will not go off!

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Extend your Fuse Stop and Think Three things I can do to extend my fuse or avoid the explosion: 1 _________________________________________________________________ 2 _________________________________________________________________ 3 _________________________________________________________________

How can I help my friend? Draw and label your ideas.

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G is for Grumble Jar

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Session 7: G is for Grumble Jar Poster discussion | 5 minutes Show the pupils the ‘G is for Grumble Jar’ poster and talk through the following points: `` Sometimes it can be useful to write down or draw things that make us angry. `` We can then make use of the Grumble Jar image or actually physically make use of such a strategy in order to manage our anger more effectively. `` Grumbles can be placed into the jar and the lid can be screwed down tightly, this then allows us to open the jar at a later stage, i.e. when we are calmer, and to deal with these problems at this stage or throw out any of the grumbles if they are no longer a problem.

Questions for Circle Time | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to consider the following questions in a Circle Time session: `` `` `` ``

What do you grumble about? What makes your grumbles get bigger and more of a problem? Which grumble would you put in the jar and why? What wouldn’t you put in the jar and why?

Worksheet | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to complete the worksheet ‘Grumble Jar’. This requires pupils to draw their own jar and to write or draw grumbles inside it. Pupils are then asked to imagine that they take the lid off this jar and to identify the things that they can do in order to sort out these grumbles. There might not be time to consider solutions to every grumble recorded so it may be helpful for the teacher to assist pupils to identify the most important two or three.

Plenary | 10 minutes Ask pupils to feed back their responses, choosing one example each. It may be useful for the teacher to highlight similarities and differences and also to reinforce the notion that grumbles can be person-specific. For example, you may be irritated by someone ‘borrowing’ a pencil from your pencil case without asking you, whereas somebody else may not find this a problem or grumble about it at all. The teacher can point out that grumbles will usually be reasonably small; it would not be particularly helpful to attempt to put serious problems or conflict situations into a Grumble Jar as these will probably need to be talked about or dealt with more urgently. 58

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Ideas for follow-on work `` Pupils can make their own Grumble Jars, designing and labelling them to suit their own individual tastes. It would be helpful to have a stock of plastic bottles, containers, etc for this purpose. `` Pupils can work in pairs and write grumble notes to each other in the style of a problem page letter. They can swap letters and attempt to write an advice letter in response. `` In order to reinforce the notion of a continuum of anger, the pupils can draw out a scale from 1–10 and record grumbles along the scale, i.e. beginning with small irritations and moving on towards grumbles which are of significant concern. `` Pupils can make a class grumble box that is opened by the teacher once a week. It will be interesting to note how many of these grumbles are thrown away as they are no longer a problem or the pupils have been able to identify the solutions themselves and make use of the anger management strategies already presented in the programme! `` Outdoor activity idea: pupils can get rid of grumbles and angry feelings by doing personal exercise using hula hoops. Each child can be provided with a hula hoop and make use of them in their own way, prior to being shown some different ways to use the hula hoop by the teacher. For example: (a) around the waist – setting it right to your back, then spinning it around with your body (b)  make the hula hoop go round and round on the ground (c)  make the hula hoop spin on your arm (d)  arrange hula hoops on the ground and jump over them

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G is for Grumble Jar

We can write down our grumbles, put them into a jar and screw down the lid tightly. We can deal with them later or throw them away if they are no longer a problem. 60

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Grumble Jar Draw your own Grumble jar. Write or draw your grumbles inside the jar.

Imagine that you take off the lid. What can you do to sort out your grumbles? __________________________________ __________________________________ __________________________________ __________________________________ __________________________________ __________________________________ __________________________________ __________________________________

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P MYSEL

F!

!!

I C

N

L HE

!

A

H is for Helping Yourself

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Session 8: H is for Helping Yourself Poster discussion | 5 minutes Show the pupils the ‘H is for Helping Yourself’ poster and talk through the following points: `` Although other people can help us with our anger, it is also vital that we learn to develop our own strategies. `` Everyone can learn safe ways to manage angry feelings. `` There are times when we will need to express anger and we need to know how to do this safely if we are to remain safe and healthy. For instance, not showing anger can lead to stress and ill-health just as showing anger in a negative way can.

Questions for Circle Time | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to consider the following questions in a Circle Time session: `` What safe ways do we already know to manage and show angry feelings? `` What would not be safe? `` How can you avoid unsafe situations or expressions of anger?

Worksheet | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to complete the worksheet ‘How Can You Help Yourself?’. The purpose of this activity is not only to reinforce the strategies introduced to date, but also to reinforce pupils’ sense of empowerment and ownership of specific strategies or routines. The idea here is to be solution-focused and to reinforce the importance of being positive, i.e. you are more likely to achieve success than you will if you have a negative attitude. Pupils can write or draw their ideas.

Plenary | 10 minutes Ask the pupils to feed back some of their ideas, possibly choosing to offer two or three examples each. Again, the teacher can choose to identify similarities and differences in the pupils’ responses. It may be useful to record these as a whole-class list. For example, these are ways in which we can help ourselves to cope with angry feelings. This plenary session can be used to reinforce the strategies introduced today, alongside the fact that pupils may have been able to develop more personalised strategies by this time. It may also be helpful to ask pupils to identify which strategy they use the most and to discuss why this might be the case, i.e. why this is the most useful to them. 63

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Ideas for follow-on work `` Pupils can brainstorm a list of feelings that they might also associate with being angry, e.g. jealousy, fear, intimidation, embarrassment, etc. `` Pupils can write stories entitled ‘The Day I Helped Myself’ and detail all the different problems they encountered in one day and the ways in which they were able to avoid becoming angry or losing their temper. `` Read pupils The Bad Tempered Ladybird (Eric Carle, 2010). In this story the bad tempered ladybird thinks that he is bigger and better than anybody else. He does not intend to share with anyone and proceeds to fight for what he believes belongs to him. `` Pupils can choose to create their own bad tempered beast or animal and to create a cartoon story detailing the day in the life of this creature and the impact that he or she has on those around them. `` Outdoor activity idea: the children can create their own angry patterns in an outdoor water art activity. Each child will need a spray bottle, water, watercolours and access to a large wall or fence. The teacher can fill each water bottle with a different colour watercolour, mixed with water. Outdoors, on a large wall or fence, the children can spray and watch what happens as the colours mix. This dries quickly and washes off easily. The children can be encouraged to work together to produce angry patterns. The act of them ‘washing them away’ reinforces the fact that anger can be (and mostly is) a temporary state.

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H is for Helping Yourself

P MYSEL

F!

!!

I C

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L HE

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A

We can all learn safe ways to manage our angry feelings.

Expressing anger safely is healthy. 65

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How Can You Help Yourself?

P MYSEL

F!

!!

I C

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L HE

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A

Brainstorm your ideas for coping with angry feelings. Write or draw your ideas on the Brainstorming Chart.

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I is for ‘I’ Messages

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Session 9: I is for ‘I’ Messages Poster discussion | 5 minutes Show the pupils the poster ‘I is for “I” Messages’ and talk through the following points: `` It is vital that we learn how to talk about our anger and to explain to others how we feel. `` Rather than get angry and shout, we can learn how to use ‘I’ messages that tell others what we want and how we feel. `` Being assertive in this way can help us to control our angry feelings and express them positively.

Questions for Circle Time | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to consider the following questions in a Circle Time session: `` Tell someone you’re angry in a negative way. The teacher can model/provide an example by ‘shouting’ across the room to an imaginary child: ‘Just sit down and stop running around like a silly boy!’ Obviously, it will be important to use an aggressive and loud voice and physical gestures might help to reinforce this kind of negative response/behaviour. `` Now tell them the same thing in a calm and assertive way using an ‘I’ message. Once again, it will be helpful for the teacher to model this by standing up and calmly but firmly asking the imaginary child to sit down. In this example it will be necessary to use a quieter voice and maintain a firm but not aggressive stance: ‘I would like you to sit down now and get on with your work. Thank you.’ `` When do you think you could use ‘I’ messages to the most effect. Give an example.

Worksheet | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to complete the worksheet ‘Using “I” Messages’. This activity highlights a playground problem between two children over a game of football; as the two children have a fight the outcome is naturally negative. The pupils are asked to identify what Sophie could have done differently, rather than hitting Jason. Pupils are then asked to formulate and record an ‘I’ message to give to Jason. It is recognised that this is not an easy activity and it may need to be modelled by the teacher in the first instance. For example, ‘I wish you wouldn’t foul. If you do it again, then I’ll have to tell the teacher’, or ‘Don’t foul me – just play the game’ or ‘I don’t like that – please don’t do it again. Just play the game.’ Pupils are finally required to identify two situations in which they may have needed to record ‘I’ messages and record these messages in the two boxes available.

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Plenary | 10 minutes Ask the pupils to feed back the ‘I’ messages that they constructed for Sophie and highlight similarities in the language used. There should be a lack of aggressive terminology and more positive/assertive statements. It may be helpful for the teacher to write up four or five conflict situations on the white board or flip chart. For example, someone kicks you in the playground, someone cusses your mum, someone takes your ball, etc. The pupils can then brainstorm the kinds of positive ‘I’ messages that they could use or formulate in these kinds of situations. It will be important to encourage the pupils to practise this strategy as it is probably the most difficult one introduced to date, but clearly one well worth developing.

Ideas for follow-on work `` Discuss the distinction between being aggressive and being assertive. `` Pupils can formulate a range of problem scenes in line with those identified in the plenary and act out these scenes formulating a positive/assertive response and a negative/ aggressive response. `` Formulate and illustrate an ‘I can say…’ list which includes all the ‘I’ messages that pupils can use to avoid conflict and gain a better outcome for themselves. `` Make a whole-class display of ‘I’ messages using a digital camera to photograph pupils’ faces and speech bubbles to record their messages. `` Outdoor activity idea: the pupils can play hop in the hoops. They will need access to a range of different coloured hoops and the teacher will need a drum to use prior to giving the instructions for the game. The teacher can warm up the pupil in the outside area. The teacher can give the children different ideas for moving around – walk, hop, skip, run, walk sideways, run backwards and so on, and place lots of different coloured hoops around the open space. He/she can then demonstrate to the children how to walk or run around without touching the hoops. These instructions can be interspersed with ‘stand in groups of two in red hoops’ or ‘three people go into each green hoop’ and so on. The teacher can get the children to listen to the next instruction using a drum. The children then stop and listen for the next step. For example, put your hand in a hoop, put your foot in a hoop. It can be made more complex by adding colours and numbers. For example, put one knee in a red hoop, put four fingers in a yellow hoop and so on. Once again, this outdoor activity promotes awareness of others’ space, listening skills and co-operative play.

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I is for ‘I’ Messages We can learn to tell others what we want and how we feel. This will help us to control our angry feelings.

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Using ‘I’ Messages A Problem Sophie hit out and hurt Jason because he fouled her in the football game. The teacher was angry and called Sophie’s Mum into school. What could Sophie have done differently? __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________

Write down an `I` message for Sophie to give to Jason. `I__________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________’

Make up your own `I` messages: I _____________________________

I _____________________________

_____________________________

_____________________________

_____________________________

_____________________________

_____________________________

_____________________________

_____________________________

_____________________________

Don’t forget to use them!

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J is for Joke

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Session 10: J is for Joke Poster discussion | 5 minutes Show the pupils the ‘J is for Joke’ poster and talk through the following points: `` It is possible to deflect from anger quite quickly if we catch things early enough. `` Stopping what we are doing or doing something entirely different can help us to move away, both physically and emotionally, from the situation. `` Sometimes we can stop the anger from developing by quickly thinking of something funny and then forgetting about our angry feelings.

Questions for Circle Time | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to consider the following questions in a Circle Time session: `` What makes you feel happy? `` What makes you laugh and helps you to stop feeling angry? `` Can you tell a joke and make your friends laugh?

Worksheet | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to complete the worksheet ‘Joking and Thinking Funny’. This makes use of the ‘stop and do something else’ strategy which is often reinforced in this programme. Pupils are asked to write or draw any funny thoughts or jokes and can then be given the opportunity to share these with a friend or partner. If appropriate, these worksheets can be made into posters and presented as a whole-class display or book.

Plenary | 10 minutes This session can take the form of a further Circle Time in which pupils refer to their worksheets and feed back some of their ideas. The teacher can ask them to choose what they perceive to be the funniest thought or joke. It may be helpful to reinforce the fact that this strategy is not intended to be a means of ridiculing or making fun of others. This is extremely important as the emphasis should be upon developing empathy and supporting each other.

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Ideas for follow-on work `` Pupils can make a whole-class joke book in which they all contribute their own jokes/ funny stories that they feel might be useful in terms of reducing both their anger and the anger of others. `` Pupils can write stories/plays entitled ‘Don’t laugh at me, laugh with me’. `` Design posters to make the point that laughter is the best medicine in the world. `` Play ‘pass the laugh’ in a Circle Time session. `` Outdoor activity idea: the pupils can play ‘outside animals’. The teacher can describe a range of animals and how they move around. Sometimes they can make us laugh and smile simply because they move differently from us. Once the teacher has talked about animals, the children go outside and stand in a line facing the way they will run. The teacher can then explain that they will go down and come back as an animal. The children can be given a name of an animal and see if they know how it gets from one place to another. If they don’t know, the teacher can help them. For example, bunny – hops, tiger – on all fours.

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J is for Joke Sometimes we can think of something funny and forget about being angry.

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Joking and Thinking Funny When you`re getting angry – STOP! And Think Funny! Write or draw your funny thoughts and jokes. Share them with a friend.

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K is for K is for Kettle KettleBoiling Boiling

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Session 11: K is for Kettle Boiling Poster discussion | 5 minutes Show pupils the poster ‘K is for Kettle Boiling’ and talk through the following points: `` It can sometimes be useful to visualise anger in the form of a kettle boiling. `` Anger can be seen to boil up like the water in a kettle. `` However, we can learn how to turn the kettle off and how to let off steam safely.

Questions for Circle Time | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to consider the following questions in a Circle Time session: `` In what ways is getting angry like a boiling kettle? `` What makes you get steaming angry? `` How can you tell when someone else is beginning to boil? What are the indicators?

Worksheet | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to complete the worksheet ‘Letting Off Steam’. This reinforces the importance of avoiding anger explosions and introduces another anger management strategy/anger spoiler. This is a three-step approach which involves taking a deep breath, counting slowly to 20 and then slowly exhaling the breath. The final part of the activity asks pupils to design their own poster in the frame provided using the title ‘Letting Off Steam’.

Plenary | 10 minutes Ask the pupils to individually show their mini posters and explain their designs to the rest of the class. It will also be important to reinforce the deep-breathing strategy introduced in the worksheet and to practise this as a whole-class group. Ask the pupils to close their eyes and to inhale and exhale while you count. The importance of actually practising this strategy cannot be over-emphasised as it will help to alleviate any associated giggles. The teacher can also finally reinforce the fact that like all the other strategies introduced to date, pupils will get better as they practise – practise really does make perfect and you cannot expect excellence at the outset.

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Ideas for follow-on work `` Pupils can draw or paint self-portraits in which they have steam coming out of their ears, e.g., they are extremely angry. They can then record around the portraits the causes of this anger. `` Pupils can design posters to promote the use of the deep-breathing strategy. `` Pupils can keep an anger diary for one week and identify all the occasions on which they have been able to make use of this strategy. `` Read Temper Temper! (Norman Silver, 2010). This story tells how a little boy uses his temper to get his own way until people in his family decide that this shouldn’t and won’t work for him any more. `` Outdoor activity idea: sometimes letting off steam can best be done by physical exercise. The children can be encouraged to play circle sentences in the outside area. They can be seated in a circle and then asked to quickly change places if: – they like football – they are wearing red – they hate vegetables – they love chocolate – they have laces in their shoes – they have felt angry today – they have felt happy today, etc.

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K is for Kettle Boiling Sometimes we will feel so angry that we boil up like a kettle. We can always turn the kettle off and we can learn to let off steam safely.

K is for Kettle Boiling

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Letting Off Steam Don`t explode! Take a deep breath and slowly let off the steam! Practise your skills: 1 Breathe in deeply 2 Count to 20 – slowly 3 Let out breath and feel your anger being zapped!

KDesign is foryour Kettle own poster in the frame, using the title:`Letting Off Steam!`Boiling

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L is for Listening

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Session 12: L is for Listening Poster discussion | 5 minutes Show the pupils the ‘L is for Listening’ poster and talk through the following points: `` Sometimes when we feel angry it can help us to calm down if we listen to calm and gentle music. `` We can also learn to listen to our own thoughts and feelings so that we can pre-empt conflict. `` Learning how to listen can also help us support our friends and keep our friendships positive.

Questions for Circle Time | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to consider the following questions in a Circle Time session: `` What music calms you down? `` How do you know when someone is really listening to you? `` How can you show that you are listening to your friends when they need to talk to you?

Worksheet | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to complete the worksheet ‘Listen Up!’ This activity sheet reinforces the notion that music can calm us down and sometimes help us to cope more effectively with angry feelings. Pupils are asked to identify one piece of music that makes them feel calm and to record why this works for them and how it makes a difference to them. Finally, they are asked to draw a picture to show how this music makes them feel.

Plenary | 10 minutes Ask the pupils to share their ideas in the group. Once again, it will be interesting to note any similarities and differences and to reinforce the fact that these choices are very person-specific, i.e. we do not necessarily all like the same music or feel calmer or more relaxed when listening to the same piece of music. It may also be interesting to consider the kind of music that might engender more uncomfortable feelings, such as fear, anger, frustration or sadness. The teacher might like to record pupils’ ideas in a table with two columns, one for calming music and one for more disturbing music. It may finally be interesting to consider what other means may be available to produce the same calming effects. 83

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Ideas for follow-on work `` Pupils may like to make up a recording of music which they could play at certain points during the school day, e.g. after lunch play, first thing in the morning, last thing in the afternoon, in order to create a calming atmosphere in the classroom. `` The teacher might also like to compile a selection of music that reflects a range of emotions and to ask pupils to describe how it makes them feel. For example: − Slow movement of Haydn’s Symphony No. 94 reflects the feeling of surprise. − Libera Me from Verdi’s requiem reflects the feeling of fear. − Mars from The Planets by Holst reflects the feeling of anger. − The start of the second movement of Beethoven’s Symphony No.3 reflects the feeling of sadness. − Dvorak’s Scherzo Capriccioso reflects the feeling of happiness. − We are the Champions by Queen reflects a feeling of confidence and empowerment. − Merry Christmas Mr Lawrence by Ryuichi Sakamoto reflects a feeling of serenity. `` Pupils can compose their own calming music using calming instruments. `` Pupils can interview their parents or carers and ask them to name 10 things that make them feel calm, including specific pieces of music. `` Outdoor activity idea: the pupils can play outside musical chairs! This activity clearly involves listening and turn-taking and requires the children to move sensibly without pushing or hurting others. The teacher can make use of a portable sound system and seat the children on chairs in a circle. The music can be played while the children get out of their seats and move around the outside of the circle. Each time they do this, the teacher can remove one chair from the circle so that when the music stops and the children have to sit down, there will always be one child left standing. This child will be ‘out’ and the game proceeds until there is one winner.

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L is for Listening We can listen to peaceful music in order to calm ourselves down when we feel angry. Learning to recognise and listen to others` anger will also help us to avoid problems and keep our friendships positive. .

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Listen Up! Music can calm us and help us to cope better with angry feelings. Which piece of music makes you feel calm? Why and how? _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ Draw a picture to show how this music makes you feel.

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M is forIt M is for Move Move It!

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Session 13: M is for Move It Poster discussion | 5 minutes Show the pupils the ‘M is for Move It’ poster and talk through the following points: `` Sometimes when we feel angry we can help ourselves by letting out the frustration. `` This frustration may take the form of physical energy. `` Taking exercise can help to release angry feelings and reduce levels of stress.

Questions for Circle Time | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to consider the following questions in a Circle Time session: `` What is your favourite exercise? `` Which exercise helps you let out your anger? `` Which kind of exercise would not help you to let out your anger?

Worksheet | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to complete the worksheet ‘Move It!’ It may be helpful, prior to this, to brainstorm all the different kinds of physical activities/games that the children may have access to, both inside and outside the school context. Encourage the children to think of games that they can play individually, in pairs, as a team or group, or as a whole class. Pupils can then individually record the 10 activities that help them to reduce anger levels and let out feelings of frustration. They can then discuss their choices with a friend and compare any differences.

Plenary | 10 minutes Each pupil can be asked to provide one example of a physical activity which helps them to reduce anger. The teacher can ask to identify the most useful activity and it may be helpful to record these in the form of a whole-class brainstorm list on the white board or flip chart. It may also be important to consider which activities are most appropriate for which context. For example, it may not be helpful to run around the classroom, whereas this would be OK in the playground as long as you didn’t run across someone’s football game!

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Ideas for follow-on work `` Pupils can keep a ‘Move It’ diary in which they record occasions when they have been able to make use of this strategy in order to let out their anger in a safe way. `` As a class, pupils can formulate two lists: (1) ‘Move It’ strategies for the classroom; and (2) ‘Move It’ strategies for the playground. `` Pupils can make up a book entitled ‘Games for Fun and Fitness’, in which each pupil designs one page which details rules for the game and reasons why this may be helpful in reducing anger levels. `` Pupils can make up their own games to involve physical exercise and turn-taking skills. `` Outdoor activity idea: the pupils can play plasticine statues in the outdoor area. This activity emphasises how important it is for the pupils to look at body language and to begin to recognise how people feel or may be feeling from the way they stand and move. Pupils are put into pairs around the circle and labelled A and B. The As are told to stand up and look like aggressive/angry statues. Once all the As have become cross statues, their partners, the Bs, can walk silently around the circle looking at the gallery of cross statues. Then the facilitator can ask each of the Bs to remodel the statues into something gentle and calm. Once the As have been remodelled, the Bs can again walk around the circle and notice the difference in the statues.

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M is for Move It We can let our anger out by taking exercise. Jog and jump out those angry feelings.

M is for Move It!

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t ou er! n Ru ang ur yo

Move It! How can you shake off your anger? Record your ideas inside the balls.

J you ump r je out alo usy !

Share your ideas with a friend. Does the use of physical exercise work for both of you? What are the differences? 91

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N is for No

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Session 14: N is for No Poster discussion | 5 minutes Show pupils the ‘N is for No’ poster and talk through the following points: `` We can be in control of situations that make us angry by remaining calm and being specific about how we feel. `` We can make it clear to others what it is that they are doing to make us angry. `` We need to make it clear what we would like them to do or stop doing.

Questions for Circle Time | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to consider the following questions in a Circle Time session: `` Can they identify a behaviour from another person which always makes them feel angry? `` Can they say how the behaviour makes them feel? `` What would they like the other person to do?

Worksheet | 15 minutes Work in this session builds on work done previously on ‘I’ messages. Identifying the feeling accurately is a key anger management skill. Telling the other person what you want them to do places you in more control of the situation. The worksheet gives children the opportunity to think about and rehearse their ‘no’ messages. It will be helpful to model the use of the worksheet and to use a similar sentence structure for each situation. For example, the teacher can identify three things that make him/her feel angry as follows: `` When children don’t listen to me. `` When my friend says I’m too fat. `` When the newspaper delivery person throws my magazine in the porch rather than posting it through the letterbox and it gets wet because it’s been raining and there’s no door on the porch. They can then formulate the ‘no’ messages as follows: `` No – I don’t like it when you talk over me so please stop it. `` No – it’s not nice when you say that because it makes me feel upset so please stop it. `` No – throwing my magazine on the floor is not a good idea and I’m fed up with it so please put it in the letterbox. Pupils can then compare their responses with a partner. 93

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Plenary | 10 minutes Each pupil can be asked to provide one example of a situation and a ‘no’ message. Children can identify which situations/people this strategy is not appropriate for. For example, speaking to some adults in this way may not be appropriate. Pairs of children can role-play a situation. Children should notice the effect that polite but firm language can have in diffusing difficult situations.

Ideas for follow-on work `` Pupils can design posters illustrating difficult situations and complete speech bubbles for the characters they have drawn using ‘no’ messages. `` Finger puppets can be used to further practise this important skill. Children can have a puppet on each hand and rehearse the ‘no’ messages in a different way. `` Pupils can make ‘no’ postcards illustrating the scenario on the front of the card and writing the appropriate ‘no’ message on the reverse. `` Provide pupils with opportunities to ‘act out’ a variety of ‘no’ messages. It may be helpful to video these and watch them in order to analyse the language used, the body language and the impact of these. Highlight what works best and why. `` Consider times when we also need to forgive people who have made us feel angry and forced us into the position of saying ‘no’. Can we do this? Should we do this? How and why? `` Outdoor activity idea: the pupils can be provided with lightweight paper and old plastic chunky crayons in order to undertake a series of ‘nature rubbings’. They can then use these to create a group/class collage which illustrates the ways in which they look after wildlife, saying ‘no’ to the things/people/contexts in which wildlife and nature are damaged. The rubbings can form the backdrop for graffiti, messages, poems and short messages on this topic.

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N is for No We can learn how to say `no` to people who make us feel angry. We can learn how to use positive self-talk.

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No Way! Say`no` to people who make you feel angry! Record three things that have made you feel upset or angry: 1

2

3

A good way to say `no` is to tell the other person how you feel and to tell them what you want. For example, `I feel angry when you tease me and I`d like you to stop it now.` Now write a `no` message for each: _1 ________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _2________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _3________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ Stop and think! It is important to say `no` calmly. Think about how your voice sounds and how you stand. Use role-play to practise your skills. 96

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O is for Outside

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Session 15: O is for Outside Poster discussion | 5 minutes Show the pupils the ‘O is for Outside’ poster and talk through the following points: `` Removing yourself from an angry situation is a good way to calm down. `` Walking away does not mean that you are too scared of the situation. `` It may not always be possible to leave a room, but it may be possible to be ‘outside’ a situation by moving to another part of the room.

Questions for Circle Time | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to consider the following questions in a Circle Time session: `` Can they identify a time when they needed to leave a particular place because they were feeling angry? `` Do any of the pupils have a special place they like to go to when they need to calm down? `` Is there a place in the playground where pupils can go and use as a time-out area?

Worksheet | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to complete the worksheet ‘Time Out’. It will be useful to brainstorm the physical signs of anger which they will need to show on their picture, e.g. clenched fists, angry eyes, hot, red face, body stiffened, etc. The place from which they are taking time out may limit the things they can do and pupils may need to use some of the calming strategies previously covered to help them calm down safely.

Plenary | 10 minutes Each pupil can be asked to give an example of a time when they might need to take time out. Pupils can share their ideas for things they can do or think about while taking time out. The teacher can create a class list of time-out strategies for calming down. It might be appropriate to create a time-out code of conduct and agree where in the classroom, or outside the classroom, children may be allowed to go.

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Ideas for follow-on work `` Pupils can make posters of the time-out code of conduct. `` Pupils can keep an anger diary for one week and identify all the occasions on which they have been able to make use of this strategy. `` Pupils can be asked to notice other people making use of this strategy to report back on the following week. `` It may be useful to set up a ‘time-out tent’ or a ‘time-out table’ or area in the classroom. Pupils can use this when they feel they need to take time to calm down, reflect on the situation and work out a positive plan or solution. `` It may be worthwhile considering setting up a ‘time-out bench’ for the playground. `` Outdoor activity idea: the children can be asked to design and build an outdoor retreat for children who are feeling angry or stressed. They can make use of outdoor play equipment and/or be provided with a small tent, cushions and soft blankets and toys. They can be encouraged to work together in order to build these peaceful havens.

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O is for Outside

We can take time out when the situation gets too hot and we start to feel angry. Going `outside` is a good way to calm down.

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Time Out Draw yourself standing outside a door being really angry. Show on your picture how you look when you are angry.

How will you calm yourself down? Make a list of things you can do and think about. __________________________________ __________________________________ __________________________________ __________________________________ __________________________________ __________________________________

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P is for Post It

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Session 16: P is for Post It Poster discussion | 5 minutes Show the pupils the ‘P is for Post It’ poster and talk through the following points: `` Writing things down to be dealt with later is a useful way to manage anger. `` Keeping a record of what we were angry about makes us believe that it is important enough to be dealt with. `` Sometimes when we come back to what we have written, we no longer feel angry about it.

Questions for Circle Time | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to consider the following questions in a Circle Time session: `` Can the pupils share a time when they wrote down a problem to be sorted out later? `` Where would be a good place at school to keep the Post-It notes? `` Where would be a good place at home to keep the Post-It notes?

Worksheet | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to complete the worksheet ‘Post It!’ Pupils can write or draw their problems on the worksheet. You may wish to give the pupils real Post-It notes to write one of their problems on.

Plenary | 10 minutes Ask the pupils to feed back some of their idea, possibly choosing to offer one or two examples each. The teacher can choose to identify similarities and differences in the pupils’ responses. It may be useful to record these as a whole-class list. These are situations that may be dealt with at a later time. As with previous work on the ‘Grumble Jar’, it will not be particularly helpful to attempt to put serious problems or conflict situations on to a Post-It note, as these will probably need to be talked about or dealt with more urgently.

Ideas for follow-on work `` During one day, pupils can write down all irritations and annoyances on Post-It notes. At the end of the day these can be reviewed and sorted according to whether they continue to be annoying. Destroy the Post-It notes that no longer need to be kept, thereby getting rid of the anger situations. 103

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`` Pupils can draw and/or write letters describing their anger situations. Place these in envelopes and ‘post’ them to the teacher. Time can then be allocated to discussion (either in a group or on an individual basis) in order to brainstorm solutions or draw up appropriate plans of action. `` Pupils can collect Post-Its for a week and then spend some time looking closely at all the situations, reflecting upon why and when they have occurred. Is there a single trigger? Is the situation the same? If so, they can then draw up a plan of action, e.g. ‘How will I deal with this situation next time?’ `` Outdoor activity idea: pupils can play throw the softball. In the initial game the pupil who has the softball says the name of another pupil standing in the circle. As they say the name, they also throw the softball to this pupil who then has to do likewise to another pupil in the circle. The children must not throw to someone who has already had a go so that all children in the group are able to have a turn. Once again, this activity promotes listening, concentration and turn-taking. A second round can require the children to throw the ball, naming the pupil and also having a situation (not a person) that makes them feel angry. These can be recorded by the teacher who can finally engage with the group in problem solving around some of these situations, e.g. what can _____ do differently to stop feeling angry in this situation next time? Who can help them? How?

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P is for Post It

We can write the problem down, post it and deal with it later. 105

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Post It! Sometimes we can`t sort out a problem straight away – we need to leave it until later. We can use Post-It notes, post them away and go back to them later.

What would you write on the Post-It notes? Try to fill them in!

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Q is for Quality Talk

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Session 17: Q is for Quality Talk Poster discussion | 5 minutes Show the pupils the ‘Q is for Quality Talk’ poster and talk through the following points: `` Sharing a problem can help us to deal with it. `` A friend can help you work out ways to solve problems. `` We can all listen to our friends; sometimes just being listened to is all the help we need.

Questions for Circle Time | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to consider the following questions in a Circle Time session: `` `` `` ``

How do we let people know that we are listening to them really carefully? Where is a good place in the school to talk and listen to each other? Who would you choose to talk to if you needed a good listener? If your friend needed to talk to you and you had to go to a lesson, what could you say or do?

Worksheet | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to complete the worksheet ‘Quality Talk Time’. Children need to work in pairs; they may choose to interview each other about a real or imagined problem. Children can write brief notes or draw pictures on the worksheet. The last section of the worksheet asks the pupils to make a plan to solve their problem. Again, this can be written or drawn. Before the children begin the worksheet, it is important to discuss the question ‘What do you want to happen?’ to ensure that pupils are clear that this should be a realistic request, e.g. that another child apologises for something rather than that they should move to another school. Children should be asked to be ready to share their plans in the plenary section of the session.

Plenary | 10 minutes Ask the pupils to feed back on their problems and especially their solution plans. Highlight any similarities or differences. It would be useful to discuss good examples of solution plans and ask the children to explain what makes them good plans. Emphasise the idea that if the plan doesn’t work, the pupil and his/her friend can try again.

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Ideas for follow-on work `` Write a letter to an agony aunt about a problem which needs to be shared – the letter should cover the same areas as the worksheet, e.g. what the problem is, how they feel, what they want to happen, etc. `` Pupils can design a poster to illustrate the key features of quality talk. `` Focus on friendship – pupils can make up a list of the characteristics of a ‘good friend’. These will, of course, include someone who can listen and help you to sort out difficulties and problems. How many characteristics can they identify? What would make someone the best kind of friend to have and why? `` Pupils can design and make ‘thank you’ cards to send to a friend who has provided them with quality talk. `` It may be helpful to make up a whole-class book entitled ‘Quality Talkers’, in which pupils can write simple messages of thanks to members of their peer group who have helped them in this way over the course of the week. `` Outdoor activity idea: the teacher can reinforce the way in which anger can be represented by visual images, e.g. a firework or a volcano. The teacher can tell the children that they are going to make their very own volcano in the sand. When they are outside, the children form a volcano with sand or dirt, leaving a hole in the top for the materials. Then they can add about 2 tablespoons of baking soda and ½ cup of vinegar (depending on the size of the volcano). For best results, add red food colouring to the vinegar before you pour it. The children will be amazed when they see the results!

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Q is for Quality Talk We can help each other to cope better with angry feelings by sharing and talking together. We can work together to find the best solutions.

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Quality Talk Time la Tel nd! frie

Sometimes it helps to talk to a friend. Use the questions to interview each other and find out the best solution.

Sh

a pro re th ble e m!

1 What is the problem? 2 How do you feel? 3 What do you want to happen? 4 What do you need to do to change things? 5 Does anyone/anything else need to change? 6 What can you do differently? Let`s make a plan! If it doesn`t work, we`ll try again. The Plan

Good luck!

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R is for Rules R is for Rules

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Session 18: R is for Rules Poster discussion | 5 minutes Show the pupils the ‘R is for Rules’ poster and talk through the following points: `` Remind the pupils that anger is normal and heathy and it is what we do with our anger that needs to be controlled. `` Keeping safe is the first rule, both for yourself and others. `` Talking about how we feel is very important. `` Trying the various strategies we have been learning is also important.

Questions for Circle Time | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to consider the following questions in a Circle Time session: `` Why do we need to have rules for anger management? `` How can we make sure everyone knows what they are? `` What will we do if someone breaks our rules?

Worksheet | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to complete the ‘Anger Rules’ worksheet. The pupils can work in pairs to discuss and write or illustrate the five most important anger rules. For example, these might include the following: `` `` `` `` ``

Always talk about your anger rather than bottling it up or hitting out. Be careful not to hurt yourself or others when you feel angry. Show your anger in a safe way. Try to recognise your triggers so that you can use time out when you need to. Always try to help others when they are angry.

Pupils should try to focus on positive behaviour and phrase rules positively.

Plenary | 10 minutes Ask pupils to feed back their responses and highlight any similarities or differences. Keep a record of the suggestions on a white board or flip chart. The class can then choose their five most important rules that can be displayed in the classroom. All pupils can sign the class rules to show that they agree to abide by them. 113

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Ideas for follow-on work `` Pupils can make anger rules to display at home. It may be helpful to consider whether rules need to be the same at home and at school and if not, why not? `` It may be helpful to agree a series of class anger rules on a more regular basis, i.e. review these in a weekly Circle Time or discussion, in order for pupils to continually reflect upon and build up their skills and strategies. These can be displayed around the classroom. `` Write a story or cartoon story entitled ‘They Broke the Rules!’ `` Write a newspaper account of an incident in which someone, or a group of people, broke the rules, e.g. a robbery, a mugging, graffiti, etc. `` Discuss why we need rules in society. What would happen if people didn’t keep rules, i.e. stealing from each other and from shops, etc. `` Formulate 10 Commandments that reflect those laws or rules that people need to keep in order to maintain a safe, just and happy society. `` Outdoor activity idea: the children can play a game of outdoor hide and seek with the teacher clarifying the rules and initially acting as ‘the seeker’. A set outdoor space can be allocated with opportunities for children to hide behind or within outside play furniture, trees, bushes, etc. However, rules should be made explicit, e.g. no hiding up a tree! The winner will be the last pupil to be found.

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R is for Rules We all need to know and keep our anger rules: • Don`t

hurt yourself. • Don`t hurt others. • Do talk and say how you feel. R is for Rules • Do use your own strategies to cope with anger.

Go for it!

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Anger Rules What rules do you and your class need to keep? Discuss and record them on this sheet.

Our Rules Are: 1 ________________________________________________________ 2 ________________________________________________________ 3 ________________________________________________________ 4 ________________________________________________________ 5 ________________________________________________________

R is for Rules I agree to try and keep the Anger Rules. Signed ________________________ Date ________________________ 119

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S is for Shield

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Session 19: S is for Shield Poster discussion | 5 minutes Show the pupils the poster ‘S is for Shield’ and talk through the following points: `` What do we normally use a shield for? `` What sort of shield do they think would protect them from angry feelings and hurtful words? `` What sort of thoughts can help us to create a shield? The teacher may wish to provide pupils with the following examples prior to eliciting their views: − I am not going to get angry. − I’m not listening to this. − I’m thinking something positive, e.g. it’s my favourite lesson next. − I don’t need to get angry about something as silly as this. − I know I’m not stupid, ugly, fat, etc, because…

Questions for Circle Time | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to consider the following questions in a Circle Time session: `` What things make the pupils feel good about themselves? `` Can the pupils share an event or happening which made them feel good about themselves? `` Can the pupils share a comment made by someone else which made them feel good about themselves?

Worksheet | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to complete the worksheet ‘My Safety Shield’. Pupils can either write or draw all the things that make them feel good inside the shield shape. If writing, they should avoid using ‘no’, ‘never’ or ‘not’, but focus on the positive. Their statements should be in the present tense ‘I can’, ‘I am…’ . You may want to enlarge the worksheet so that pupils have plenty of room. Encourage the pupils to put as many positive statements or drawings as they can on their shield.

Plenary | 5 minutes Ask the pupils to feed back their responses and highlight any similarities or differences. It would be useful to ask pairs of pupils to role-play angry situations and use their shield statements to 118

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help them control their anger. Use the pupils’ ideas to create a class shield to display in the classroom. Pupils can go on to identify one positive statement which they find most affirming and share this with the class.

Ideas for follow-on work `` Ask the pupils to keep a diary for the week recording times when they have tried to use their shields. `` Ask pupils to practise saying their chosen positive statement several times a day to a mirror; the more they say it, the more they are likely to believe it. `` Make a poster of their positive statement to display at home as a reminder. `` Design ‘bubble’ pictures in which pupils draw themselves sitting or standing inside a large bubble. The idea of using this visual image is to show how such a tool can be used to protect pupils from angry thoughts, feelings and situations. Pupils can write around the bubble, recording all the positive thoughts that they can make use of in order to make sure that the bubble doesn’t burst. `` Outdoor activity idea: the children can play a game of ‘freeze dance’ in the outside play area. In this game, the teacher provides them with some music via a portable sound system. The children have to dance to the music until it stops and then immediately adopt a ‘freeze’ position like a statue, imagining that they are surrounded by a cocoon or bubble or protected by a shield. The teacher can then select the children whose position is held most successfully and they can become the judge in the next round.

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S is for Shield Our shields can protect us from angry feelings and hurtful words.

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My Safety Shield Design your own safety shield. Draw and label the positive thoughts and feelings that can protect you against angry thoughts and problems.

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T is for Traffic Lights

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Session 20: T is for Traffic Lights Poster discussion | 5 minutes Show the pupils the ‘T is for Traffic Lights’ poster and talk through the following points: `` As with road traffic lights, these traffic lights are similar in that red means ‘stop’, amber means ‘wait’ and green means ‘go’. `` While they stop, pupils should use this time to think about and identify exactly what their problem is and how they feel about it. `` At amber, pupils should plan a course of action considering the possible consequences. `` At green, pupils should try out their plan.

Questions for Circle Time | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to consider the following questions in a Circle Time session: `` Why is it important to stop and plan before acting? `` What can happen if we don’t stop and plan before acting?

Worksheet | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to complete the worksheet ‘Traffic Lights’. It may be useful to present the pupils with a range of situations that are common triggers to anger for the class and ask them to focus on one or two of these when completing this worksheet. These might include: `` `` `` `` ``

when someone calls you names when someone cheats in a game when someone is racist when someone says cruel and untrue things about your friends or family when people don’t listen.

You may wish to enlarge the worksheet so that pupils can draw their responses rather than writing them.

Plenary | 10 minutes Ask the pupils to feed back their responses and highlight any similarities or differences. It will be useful to highlight strategies that have been introduced in the programme which form the basis 123

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of plans to cope with angry situations. For example, share the problem with a friend, write it on a Post-It note or use a positive thought from their shields. Pupils may need support in considering the possible consequences of their plans.

Ideas for follow-on work `` Design posters to show how the traffic lights can be used by others. `` Discuss the following quote from Martin Luthur King: ‘The strong man is the man who can stand up for his rights and not hit back.’ This can be made into posters for display. `` Read the story Don’t Pop Your Cork on Mondays!: The Children’s Anti-stress Book (Adolph Moser, 1988). Ask the pupils to identify the kinds of stresses that might cause them to ‘pop their corks’. They can then choose the most significant one and make use of the traffic light method to work out a positive plan of action in order to deal effectively with the problem. `` Keep a week’s diary of anger incidents and make use of the traffic lights to work out a solution to the most significant problem(s). `` Outdoor activity idea: the children can be supported by the teacher in order to create an outdoors traffic light mural in one area of the playground. This can be painted using appropriate all-weather paint and the ‘Stop and Think!’ ‘Wait and Plan!’, and ‘Go!’ messages can be painted on to each of the red, amber and green lights. Children can then make use of this strategy when they are experiencing problems or difficulties in the playground context.

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T is for Traffic Lights We can use them when we feel angry! Stop and Think! What is the problem? How do I feel? Wait and Plan! What should I do? Who can help me? What are the consequences? Go! Try out your plan. Go for it! 125

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Traffic Lights Use the traffic light method to sort out your anger problem. Stop and Think! What is my problem? ________________________ ________________________ How do I feel? ________________________ ________________________ Wait and Plan! What can I do? ________________________ ________________________ What would help me? ________________________ ________________________ Go This is my `best` plan: ________________________ ________________________ This is what I`II do: ________________________ ________________________

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U is for Understanding

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Session 21: U is for Understanding Poster discussion | 5 minutes Show the pupils the ‘U is for Understanding’ poster and talk through the following points: `` Understanding our own feelings and the behaviours which may result from our feelings is very important, but not always easy. `` Being able to understand how we make other people feel is even less easy, but equally important.

Questions for Circle Time | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to consider the following points in a Circle Time session: `` Can pupils share a time when they know they have made someone feel happy? How did they know? `` Can they share a time when they have made someone angry? How did they know? `` Are there things which the pupils know they do regularly which make other people feel angry?

Worksheet | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to complete the worksheet ‘Understanding Me and You’. Pupils can write or draw their responses.

Plenary | 10 minutes Ask the pupils to feed back their responses and highlight any similarities or differences. Have any of the pupils given the same response for each of the top boxes? Ask pupils to choose one thing that they have said they can do to help other people who may be feeling angry with them. Ask them to try out the strategy they have identified over the coming week and notice any differences in how people behave towards them.

Ideas for follow-on work `` Brainstorm and construct a class list of phrases that acknowledge others’ feelings and begin to calm them. For example, ‘I understand how angry you must be, I am very sorry. Can I do anything to help you? You are right to feel angry about that.’ 128

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`` Discuss the following quote by Indira Gandhi: ‘You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.’ Design a poster to illustrate this. `` Read the story A Bad Luck Day from Why Me? ( Bel Mooney, 1996). This story tells how Mum gets angry and furious about everything that happens during the course of one day. Ask the pupils to consider what makes their mum, dad or carer get angry. Can they think of things that they might be able to do in order to help out? What would be the best plan in each situation? `` Write stories entitled ‘Misunderstood’ showing how someone gets into trouble because others don’t understand him or her or the situation. Being misunderstood may cause them to become very angry. How do they solve their problems? How can they ensure that others do understand them? `` Outdoor activity idea: the children can play a game of ‘Simon says’ with the teacher providing a series of instructions for them. For example, Simon says: – run on the spot – shake hands with someone wearing trainers – smile – reach the sky – pull an angry face – give someone a high five – say ‘hello’ in another language – jump as high as you can, etc.

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U is for Understanding We need to understand our own feelings and behaviours. We also need to understand how we make others feel and that our behaviours have consequences. What we think, do and say really matters.

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Understanding Me and You What we do and say really matters! Think carefully and complete these sentences: I make other people feel angry when …

What can I do to help them?

Other people make me feel angry when…

What can they do to help me?

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V is for Vocabulary

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Session 22: V is for Vocabulary Poster discussion | 5 minutes Show the pupils the ‘V is for Vocabulary’ poster and talk through the following points: `` Talking is always better than hitting. `` We all need to learn the words to use to describe accurately how we are feeling. `` There are many different ways to describe anger.

Questions for Circle Time | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to consider the following points in a Circle Time session: `` Can pupils give other words to describe feeling angry? `` Do they all mean the same thing or are there differences? `` Can they give examples of situations when they may feel annoyed or furious?

Worksheet | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to complete the worksheet ‘Angry Words’. The worksheet asks them to list all the words they can think of to describe angry feelings. You may wish to give them some angry words to start them off, or give them a list of words to put in order according to how angry a person may be. These words can include the following: vicious furious twitchy angry aggressive peeved outraged These might be ordered in terms of ‘strongest’ and ‘weakest’ angry words: outraged furious vicious aggressive angry peeved twitchy 133

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For each angry word, can they give an example of an event that may cause them to feel that level of anger. Providing such an example may help pupils to understand this concept of ordering/ranking words in terms of their strength. This will also help to reinforce the fact that anger is person-specific and not every situation will cause us to feel the same level of anger. On the reverse side of the sheet, the pupils can list and draw more positive feelings.

Plenary | 10 minutes Ask the pupils to feed back their responses and highlight similarities. If pupils have not already ordered their words, you may wish to do this as part of the plenary. You can use the pupils’ feedback to create a class anger thermometer. Give pupils a few scenarios and ask them to decide how angry they would be. Explain to the pupils how important it is to be accurate when we are describing our feelings; to say that we are furious when only feeling annoyed is misleading and unhelpful.

Ideas for follow-on work `` If you make a class anger thermometer, pupils can draw pictures to illustrate each level of anger. `` Pupils can draw themselves feeling angry, sad, happy, scared and excited, and then label their drawings to show the way their bodies look, e.g. smiling mouth, tears, etc. `` Continue the class collection of angry words which can be added to over time (mad, grumpy, cranky, furious, livid, agitated, enraged, etc). `` In pairs, pupils can role-play situations that show a certain level of anger. The class is asked to guess which level of anger they are demonstrating. It may be helpful to video these and then show them to the class so that pupils can further analyse the words and body language used. Sometimes it is difficult to ‘see ourselves as others see us’ (Robert Burns), but it is often illuminating and helpful when we can do this. `` Outdoor activity idea: the children can build an outside anger alphabet, using rocks, stones and pebbles to formulate each letter of the alphabet. They can then stand next to each letter and identify one situation/topic/event that makes people angry or one way in which people show anger which begins with that specific letter. For example: A–animals who bark – aggressive – aeroplanes that crash – angry drivers – algebra

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V is for Vocabulary We all need to learn the words to express our angry feelings. Talking about it is better than hitting out.

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Angry Words Make a list of all the words that describe your angry feelings. How many words can you find? Angry Feelings

On the other side of the sheet make a list of words that describe your happy feelings. Draw yourself feeling: (a) angry (b) happy (c) sad (d) scared (e) excited

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W is for Wind Down

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Session 23: W is for Wind Down Poster discussion | 5 minutes Show the pupils the ‘W is for Wind Down’ poster and talk through the following points: `` `` `` ``

Giving ourselves time to relax and calm down is another anger management strategy. This time is part of the red time in the ‘Traffic Light’ strategy. When we feel relaxed, we can plan more effectively what to do to solve our problems. It is often very difficult to think clearly when we are upset.

Questions for Circle Time | 15 minutes Ask the children to consider the following points in a Circle Time session: `` How do our bodies feel when they are relaxed? `` Can pupils share times and places when they feel really relaxed? `` What can we do to help ourselves relax in busy places?

Worksheet | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to complete the ‘Wind Down’ worksheet. Pupils are asked to draw and label the ways they prefer to relax.

Plenary | 10 minutes Ask the pupils to feed back their responses and highlight any similarities and differences. It is likely that their responses included locations and equipment not easily found in school. It will be useful to teach children some ways to relax in the school environment. Breathing very deeply and slowly, with eyes closed thinking about somewhere happy, will help them to relax. Allow the pupils time to practise this.

Ideas for follow-on work `` You may wish to teach children some basic meditation strategies. Ask them to choose a two-syllable word. It may be real or made up, e.g. happy or ‘howso’. As they breathe in, they focus on the first syllable and nothing else as they breathe out they focus on the second syllable. They will find it difficult at first, but after practising for five minutes a day regularly they will find that they are able to empty their minds and relax. 138

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`` It may also be helpful to teach further calming or stress management strategies for children. Make use of some of the ideas from Keep Your Cool! Stress Management Strategies (Tina Rae and George Robinson, 2002). `` Make a special time during the day when calming music is played in the classroom, i.e. first thing in the morning, after lunch play or at the very end of the day. It may be helpful for the teacher to present some pieces of music that he/she thinks have a calming effect/ feeling, e.g. Mozart piano, flute or oboe concertos, Bach piano sonatas… Ella Fitzgerald songs, Watermark by Enya, or Why by Annie Lennox, or many of the tracks on The Classic Chillout Album. The teacher can then encourage the pupils to bring in their own examples of calming music for use in the classroom. Pupils can be encouraged to make use of basic meditation strategies during this quiet time. `` Paint pictures to illustrate ‘The Place I Love Most’, e.g. somewhere that makes them feel calm and relaxed. Think about the shapes, colours and contexts in this work. `` Outdoor activity idea: the children can be allocated to small groups and asked to create calming ‘night music’ outside. They can gather ideas using all five senses and share these in order to create their own pieces of music using percussion, such as woodblocks, rainmakers, metallophone, etc. The teacher can reinforce the idea of creating a peaceful theme to which people can listen and feel relaxed. Children can be encouraged to perform their ‘night music’ to the class/group as a whole.

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W is for Wind Down

Sometimes we can have quiet `wind-down` sessions to relax our bodies and minds. Then we can calmly try to sort out the problem. 140

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Wind Down Everyone needs to relax. Relaxing and having a `quiet` time can help us cope with angry feelings. Draw and label the ways that you chill-out.

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X is for X-ray Eyes

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Session 24: X is for X-ray Eyes Poster discussion | 5 minutes Show the pupils the ‘X is for X-ray Eyes’ poster and talk through the following points: `` We have spent a lot of time learning about how to recognise when we are getting angry. `` We can use this knowledge to help us identify other people’s feelings. `` When we know how our friends are feeling we can help them to deal with their feelings.

Questions for Circle Time | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to consider the following questions in a Circle Time session: `` `` `` ``

How can we tell when our friends are angry? What do they look and sound like? What are the early signs of our friends’ anger? How does it feel to be around someone who is very angry? Can they describe a time when they noticed that someone was angry?

Worksheet | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to complete the worksheet ‘X-ray Eyes’. Ask them to draw and label a picture of an angry person. Pupils will need to label indicators such as clenched fists, heavy breathing, deep frowns, pursed lips, etc. They are further asked how they know when their teacher, parent/carer or friend is angry. It will be useful to look at the differences children notice in these people.

Plenary | 10 minutes Ask the pupils to feed back their responses and highlight any similarities and differences. Focus especially on the differences they noticed between anger in their teacher, parent/carer and their friend. Can they say why there are differences? It would be appropriate to discuss with pupils the idea that sometimes we need to get away from people who are very angry as it may not be safe for us to be near them.

Ideas for follow-on work `` Play pupils some ‘angry’ music, e.g. Mars from The Planets by Holst or The Storm from The Grand Canyon Suite by Grofe. Pupils can paint or draw angry artwork. 143

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`` Write stories entitled ‘X-ray Eyes’ about someone being able to ‘see’ exactly how others are feeling. What happens? Is the outcome positive or negative? What would make it positive? `` Formulate a list entitled ‘Ten Ways to Identify an Angry Friend’. `` Collect a series of photographs or pictures showing a variety of situations and feelings. Ask the pupils to identify what each person may be feeling and to try to imagine why or what has led them to feel this way. Focus on developing pupils’ observation strategies, descriptive language and empathy. `` Outdoor activity idea: the children can design and build a playground postbox which is durable and waterproof. This can then be used by children who are feeling upset, angry or stressed about something. They can record their ideas and concerns on postcards and post these in the box which will then be monitored by staff who can collect them and attempt to work with the individual child in order to resolve the specific situation.

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X is for X-ray Eyes We can learn how to read others` feelings and help them cope with anger and strong emotions. We can use our x-ray eyes to see beneath the surface.

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X-ray Eyes Use your x-ray eyes to see beneath the skin! How do you know when someone is feeling angry? What do they look like? How do they sound? Draw and label a picture of an angry person.

On the other side of the sheet draw and/ or write how you know when the following are angry: (a)  your teacher (b)  your friend (c)  your parent/carer Think! What can you do to help them?

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Y is for Yell

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Session 25: Y is for Yell Poster discussion | 5 minutes Show the pupils the ‘Y is for Yell’ poster and talk through the following points: `` Yelling can be a really useful way to get rid of angry feelings. `` It may not always be possible to yell loudly, especially in school. `` There may be places in the playground where it is entirely appropriate to yell loudly.

Questions for Circle Time | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to consider the following questions in a Circle Time session: `` Can they share a time when they felt angry enough to yell very loudly? `` Is there a place in the playground that would be good for yelling? `` Do they have anywhere to go at home where they can yell without disturbing anybody?

Worksheet | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to complete the worksheet ‘I can yell when…’ . The worksheet asks them to write or draw times and places when yelling might be a useful strategy to use in controlling anger. They are also asked to think about times and places when/where yelling would not be appropriate.

Plenary | 10 minutes Ask the pupils to feed back their responses and highlight any similarities and differences. As with any other anger management strategy, it will be useful to practise this one. If appropriate, ask the pupils to yell; they will probably find this surprisingly difficult to do! If they take a very deep breath and yell it out, they will feel somewhat emptied.

Ideas for follow-on work `` Write a story entitled ‘Don’t shout!’ showing how and why this is not a useful thing to do in certain situations.

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`` Paint loud pictures. What will these look like? Will they have large jagged and angry lines? Will the colours be predominantly reds and ambers? How will these pictures signify feelings of rage and anger? `` Read Sometimes I Get So Mad (Paula Z. Hogan, 1980) and ask the pupils to think about the situations they find themselves in that really make them feel like yelling. Then ask them to consider all the anger management strategies that they have learnt to date. Which would be the best ones to use in situations that make them want to yell? `` Make up stories or scenarios entitled ‘The Teacher Who Yelled!’ What would cause the teacher to get this angry? Is it right for a teacher to behave in this way? How can the pupils help the teacher to avoid getting into a yelling state? `` Outdoor activity idea: the children can be encouraged to play a totally ‘quiet’ outside circle game which requires no verbal responses whatsoever. The children should be encouraged to be quiet and attentive in the circle. The teacher can begin by passing round a single clap and then progress to an easy rhythm and then a rhythm on an instrument around the circle. A selection of rhythm instruments should be made available for this purpose. Each child can have a go at beginning the rhythm for the other children to listen to and copy around the circle.

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Y is for Yell Sometimes we can let our angry feelings out in a yell – it`s best to do this in a private room or out in the open where we won`t disturb others.

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I Can Yell When… Write or draw you ideas in the stars. Think of times and places when yelling out your anger would not be a good idea. Draw or write about these on the other side of the sheet. Share your ideas with your class.

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Z is for Zero ºF

ºC

120

50

100

40

80

30

60 40

20 10 0

20 0

−10 −20

−20

−30

−40

−40

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Session 26: Z is for Zero Poster discussion | 5 minutes Show the pupils the ‘Z is for Zero’ poster and talk through the following points: `` We have previously ordered anger words and created an anger thermometer. `` In a similar way, we can try to be aware of how angry we are at a particular time. `` Deep breathing can help us to move down the anger thermometer or the tension scale. The teacher will need to describe this scale carefully to the pupils and distinguish between the notion of the anger thermometer and the ‘shorter’ scale. This scale runs from 10 to 0 and is intended to provide pupils with a simple visual image that they can use in order to control and effectively manage angry feelings. As this is visually simpler than the thermometer image, it may be a more user-friendly tool for some pupils in the group. `` Deep breathing can help us move down the anger thermometer.

Questions for Circle Time | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to consider the following questions in a Circle Time session: `` Can pupils give an example of something that makes them feel a little bit angry – to about 3 or 4 on the anger tension scale? `` Can pupils give an example of something that makes them feel very angry – to about 9 or 10 on the anger tension scale?

Worksheet | 15 minutes Ask the pupils to complete the worksheet ‘Getting to Zero’. The worksheet requires pupils to use the tension scale to resolve an angry problem. It may be appropriate to give pupils a range of common school- or class-based problems to solve. Pupils may respond either in writing or drawings.

Plenary | 10 minutes Ask pupils to feed back their responses noting any similarities and differences. Pupils need to be aware that it takes a long time for people to calm down if they have been very angry. It takes in the region of 90 minutes for the physiological effects of extreme anger to abate, for breathing and body temperature to return to normal. During this cooling down time, a person can very easily be made angry again. Discuss with pupils the implications of this. 153

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Ideas for follow-on work `` Effective deep breathing – breathing in very deeply and letting the air out in a controlled way – needs regular practice. `` Pupils can make a poster of the tension scale and illustrate it with angry situations relevant to each level on the tension scale. `` Formulate a list of all the positive anger management strategies that have been used by the pupils to date. Which ones do they feel allow or enable them to get back to zero the fastest? Which ones can they use as they go down the tension scale? Remember, what works best for one person may not be the best strategy for another. This is because, like stress, anger is person-specific. `` Ask pupils to make up an ‘Anger Rap’ in which they state how anger can be useful or unhelpful and then detail how they can help themselves and each other to be angry in a safe way. `` Make an ‘Anger Pact’ promising to yourself how you will positively respond in a variety of contexts in order to ensure the best outcome. For example, ‘I promise that if someone cusses my mum I will…’, ‘I promise that if someone snatches my ball I will …’ etc. `` Draw up anger action plans, identifying the best strategies that you’ve used and situations in which you may need to use these in the future. `` Outdoor activity idea: the children can create their own outdoor version of the tension scale using large stones collected by the teacher for this purpose. The stones can be cleaned and the numbers brightly painted on to them prior to being varnished (by an appropriate adult!). The children can then make use of the tension scale within the context of the playground/outdoor area.

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Z is for Zero

ºF

ºC

120

50

100

40

80

30

60 40

20 10 0

20 0

−10 −20

−20

−30

−40

−40

We can measure our anger on a tension scale. We can think about how angry we are – a 6, 7, 8 or 9 and then take a deep breath. We can breathe out slowly and watch our anger come down the scale until it reaches a safe level. Then we can try to work out a solution in order to get to zero!

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Getting to Zero Use the Tension Scale to sort out your problem! Complete the steps: ºF

ºC

120

50

100

40

80

30

60 40

20

0

2  I am on point … on the scale.

10 0

20

1  I am angry because… _________________________________________ _________________________________________

−10 −20

−20

−30

−40

−40

3  To get down to point … I need to … _________________________________________ _________________________________________ 4  To get down to point zero I need to … _________________________________________ _________________________________________ 5  When I am on zero I will feel … _________________________________________ _________________________________________

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Appendices Appendix 1

Anger Alphabet – Pre and Post Course Checklist

Appendix 2

Anger Models

Appendix 3

Pre and Post Course Observation Checklist

Appendix 4

Strong Feelings Diary

Appendix 5

Format for Group Work

Appendix 6

Time Out Vouchers

Appendix 7

Top Tips for Teachers

Appendix 8

Top Tips for Parents

Appendix 9

Top Tips/Strategies for Children

Appendix 10

Behaviour Monitoring Chart

Appendix 11

Reward Sticker Chart

Appendix 12

Information Sheet on Attachment Disorders

Appendix 13

Strategy Sheet: Attachment Disorders

Appendix 14

Nurture Group Information Sheet

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Appendix 1  Anger Alphabet – Pre and Post Course Checklist Ask the child to rate themselves against each of the following statements on a scale of 0–10 (0 = not very much/never, 5 = a medium amount/sometimes, 10 = a lot/almost always)

Information – what do I know about my anger? I understand why I get angry 0

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

Not very much

9

10

almost always

I understand why others get angry 0

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

5

6

7

8

9

10

5

6

7

8

9

10

6

7

8

9

10

I know the triggers that start my anger 0

1

2

3

4

I know how to stop my anger escalating 0

1

2

3

4

I know what happens to my body when I get angry 0

1

2

3

4

5

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I understand the pattern of my angry outbursts 0

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

5

6

7

8

9

10

5

6

7

8

9

10

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

I know that I can cope when other students get angry 0

1

2

3

4

I know that I can cope when adults get angry 0

1

2

3

4

My skills – how are my skills now? I can reflect on my behaviours 0

1

2

3

I can set realistic targets for change 0

1

2

3

I can plan ahead and predict my behaviours 0

1

2

3

I have a system to solve my problems 0

1

2

3

Appendices 159

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I can use self-calming strategies (e.g. counting, deep breathing, relaxation) 0

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

I can talk myself down from anger 0

1

2

3

I can use ‘time out’ effectively 0

1

2

3

I can use ‘I’ messages when I need to 0

1

2

3

I can problem solve with friends 0

1

2

3

I can problem solve with adults 0

1

2

I can manage my stress 0

1

2

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I can understand how others are feeling and change my behaviours towards them if I think they are getting angry 0

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

8

9

10

How do you feel about your ability to manage your feelings and behaviour? (0 = negative; 5 = OK; 10 = positive) 0

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

Negative Positive How would you like to feel about your ability to manage your feelings and behaviour in the future? 0

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

What do you think needs to change now in order for you to make more progress? (Include things about yourself, others and your situation.)

Appendices 161

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Appendix 2  Anger Models

MIND REACTS

THOUGHTS

BO

DY

AND FEELINGS

RE

AC

IN

SID

OU

EA

CT

TS

ID

EA

CT

R IGGE

TR

TS

IO

NS

IO

NS

The Firework Model (Adapted from Novaco’s model for Anger Arousal in Feindler & Ecton 1986)

The Assault Cycle (from Coping with Aggressive Behaviour, Breakwell 1997)

Escalation phase (B)

Crisis phase (C)

(Possible additional assaults) Postcrisis Depression phase (E)

Trigger phase (A)

Plateau or recovery phase (D)

Baseline behaviour

Baseline behaviour

The Assault Cycle (from Coping with Aggressive Behaviour, Breakwell 1997)

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Appendix 3  Pre and Post Course Observation Checklist Name ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… Date of birth ………………………………………………………………………………………………………. School ……………………………………………………………………………………………………….……… Please circle the number which your observations suggest is most appropriate and add any comments that you think are important.

  1.   2.   3.   4.   5.   6.   7.   8.   9.

Comes to school/class happily Settles in class without fuss Settles in small groups easily Follows class routines Accepts teacher’s direction Accepts other pupils taking the lead Appears popular with other children Has at least one good friend Plays appropriately with other children 10. Copes well with disappointment 11. Appears confident 12. Feels good about themselves 13. Concentrates well 14. Controls anger when provoked 15. Has insight into own behaviour 16. Learns from mistakes 17. Keeps hands, feet, objects to themselves 18. Hurts self 19. Distracts other children 20. Hurts other children Total

Always Usually Sometimes Never Comment 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1

2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2

3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3

4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4

4 4 4

3 3 3

2 2 2

1 1 1

Best score = 20 Worst score = 80 Completed by ……………………………………………………………………………………………………… Date …………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

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Appendix 4  Strong Feelings Diary Keep a feelings diary during the next week. Write down what made you angry, upset or stressed (triggers), how you felt (feelings), what you did (behaviour), and what happened next (consequences). Then scale yourself on a scale of 1–10 for how well you coped with your strong feelings (0 = not well, 5 = OK, 10 = brilliantly)

Triggers

Feelings

What I did (behaviour)

What happened next? (consequences) Rating 1–10

Monday

  

/10

Tuesday

  

/10

Wednesday

  

/10

Thursday

  

/10

Friday

  

/10

Saturday

  

/10

Sunday

  

/10

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Appendix 5  Format for Group Work Session 1 Complete pre and post course checklist 1 Identify REASONS for being here – to develop our social and emotional skills, to improve our anger management skills, etc. 2 Set GROUP RULES 3 Look at ANGER MODELS 4 Clarify why we need this – RATIONALE 5 Why do we get angry? What happens? What helps us? What strategies work for us? 6 Learn a new strategy (introduced by teacher) 7 TAKE HOME – strong feelings diary 8 PLENARY – what was useful?

Sessions 2 onwards `` `` `` `` `` ``

Review diaries What worked? What could be better? Introduce and practise a strategy, e.g. use of Anger Alphabet resources Take home diary Plenary

Final Session `` `` `` `` `` ``

Review diaries Review learning overall Complete pre and post course checklist Identify progress Set SMART targets Identify ongoing support systems Appendices 165

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Appendix 6  Time Out Vouchers

TIME OUT VOUCHER

TIME OUT VOUCHER

TIME OUT VOUCHER

1

2

3

TIME OUT VOUCHER

TIME OUT VOUCHER

TIME OUT VOUCHER

4

5

6

TIME OUT VOUCHER

TIME OUT VOUCHER

TIME OUT VOUCHER

7

8

9

TIME OUT VOUCHER

TIME OUT VOUCHER

TIME OUT VOUCHER

10

11

12

TIME OUT VOUCHER

TIME OUT VOUCHER

TIME OUT VOUCHER

13

14

15

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Appendix 7  Top Tips for Teachers Understanding and managing ‘angry’ behaviours is a complex task and needs to be addressed on a very individual basis. These are some top tips for teachers: `` Children with social, emotional and behavioural issues often have reduced skills and abilities when it comes to curbing impulses, regulating their responses, thinking through and problem solving. They will tend to struggle to manage their behaviours even when they know the rules and care about the consequences. So, the behaviour management system will need to be flexible, and include strategies such as warning systems, time out or options for withdrawal and tolerance of low-level behaviours which do not put others at risk. `` Look ‘underneath’ the behaviour and try to respond to the message underneath, such as ‘I can’t cope’, ‘I don’t know what to do’ or ‘I am feeling embarrassed or hurt’. What is the purpose of the behaviour? What function does it serve for the young person? This will be the key to determining the most effective response. `` Watch out as if you stop or limit a specific behaviour without addressing the underlying purpose or need, then other equally challenging behaviours are likely to be displayed. You still need to meet the child’s specific need. `` Positive behaviour systems are more effective than punishment-driven systems. They will also limit any negative impact on the young person’s self-esteem. Positive strategies include working towards incentives and rewards, opportunities to express and demonstrate strengths and ‘shine’, and rewards for every effort made. `` Watch out for the SEBD (Social, Emotional and Behavioural Difficulties) child who is socially vulnerable, no matter how ‘tough’ they act. They are particularly prone to imitating negative role models in order to be accepted. They can often be cast in the role of the stooge. Be careful to observe and provide support for this. `` Key strategies for long-term prevention and management of problem anger include: – Adjusting the environment and the child’s support programme, e.g. reducing distractions, breaking tasks into small steps, setting realistic (SMART) targets, creating an effective support structure and developing regular routines with any changes clearly prepared for. – Teaching skills: develop skills in areas such as stress and anger management, conflict resolution, social skills and communication skills, and ensure that the child has access to appropriate individual and/or group interventions to ensure the development of these skills. – Try to prevent difficulties from escalating: when the child appears to become distressed, provide a break, discuss the issue away from other children, don’t ‘force’ any response and use basic distraction techniques. – Plan ahead: know what does and doesn’t work for the child and prompt them to use their ‘best’ strategies and always ensure a ‘safe haven’ is available should there be an explosion. Ensure that you don’t expect the child to discuss such an event until they are calm, i.e. allow enough time for this.

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Appendix 8  Top Tips for Parents Here are some top tips on simple ways that parents can help their children manage their stress and anger in everyday situations: 1 Timing: It is vital to remember that coping strategies should only be used at the early stages of anger and stress. Once the child is ‘losing it’, no strategy will be effective, and time and space are the only options. Using strategies at this time can cause problems as parents give up on good strategies as they seem ineffective and children may come to dislike the techniques because they link them to being upset/angry and to horrible times. 2 Role model: Spend some time thinking about your own response to anger. Most people will benefit from improving skills in handling anger – it can be a good idea to practise some of the strategies in this programme alongside your child. The more that you are in control of your own anger, the more able you are to support others. It is also helpful for children to realise that learning and refining these skills is something that we all need to do and that these are life-long learning experiences – even you (the adults) are not perfect! 3 Try to stay calm: Any signs of anxiety or frustration shown by you will only increase the young person’s stress levels. Check your voice and body language and practise ‘faking it’! 4 Learn the ‘warning signs’: Identify the early signs of anger that are unique to your child. Doing something at this point in order to prevent the build-up of anger is much easier than dealing with the ‘explosion’ later – divert, distract, use calming talk, etc. 5 Don’t be demanding! When you detect early signs of anger make sure you do not add extra demands on the child or remind them of all the things they should and/or need to be doing. Instead use some of the strategies in the programme: provide them with space, reduce the demands (e.g. ‘let’s finish this one and then come back to it some other time’ or ‘let’s take some time out now and come back to this later’). Remember that the priority is to avoid escalation. 6 Use humour (but never sarcasm): This helps to quickly change the mood, gives the young person a ‘breathing space’ in which they may be able to regain control, and ensures that feelings of shame and blame do not emerge and further escalate the situation.

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Appendix 9  Top Tips/Strategies for Children � The traffic light system This presents children with a means of identifying, analysing and subsequently de-escalating strong feelings. It is a clear visual image of how strong feelings can be managed, as follows: – The red light indicates the stop and think stage in which the child identifies the problem: What is the problem? How do I feel? – The amber light represents the wait and plan stage: What should I do? Who can help me? What are the consequences? – The green light represents the go stage: Try out your plan, go for it, reflect and evaluate. Children can make use of this traffic light system on a regular basis and evaluate how useful or otherwise it is by referring to their anger log or strong feelings diary. The traffic light strategy can be used as a visual reminder in the form of a book mark and presented in poster form in a range of contexts around the school. � Change your thinking Once children know what their triggers are they can then begin to change how they think about them by creating a new script. It is useful to present opportunities for triggers to be identified and for children to then identify what they think and do as a result of these triggers. In true solution-focused fashion, they can then proceed to think and articulate what they can do differently, how they can think differently, how they can respond differently in the future. � Developing a script Children can also develop their own personal calming down script in order to diffuse a situation when they find themselves becoming angry. This can be written down on a small card and kept somewhere safe. � Problem-solving framework Problem-solving frameworks are also useful in terms of identifying the following: What are the problems? What are the feelings? Stop and think and make a plan. What can they do? How can they think differently? Who can help them? Try it out. When will they know that the problem’s been solved? What will be different? This kind of framework is also particularly useful in ensuring that a solution-focused mentality is encouraged and maintained. � Using ‘I’ messages Children can formulate an ‘I’ message which can replace negative responses or statements. For example, if someone is attempting to pick a fight with them or if someone is doing something that is beginning to make them angry, they can rehearse an ‘I’ statement such as ‘I would like you to stop that now because you are making me feel angry’ or ‘I don’t like what you are doing, please stop it’, etc. Appendices 169

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� Using exercise Running out your anger or engaging in some form of exercise is particularly helpful as it produces the feel-good chemical endorphin alongside having a further positive payoff in terms of keeping you fit and reasonably well. � Using the tension scale Children can imagine a tension scale from 0–10 (10 being the most upset or angry that they can feel and 0 being the state when physiologically they are back to normal). They can then proceed through a series of steps: (1) I am upset because. . . (2) I am at point … on the scale (3) To get down to point… I need to… (4) To get down to point 0 I need to… (5) When I am on 0 I will feel…. � Using a relaxation script Children can be provided with a relaxation script which they can practise on a regular basis, tensing and releasing muscles in each part of their body in turn. This can either be read aloud to them or they can commit the script to memory. This can be something they use prior to entering a more stressful situation or subsequent to experiencing a real pressure on their ability to cope and manage their behaviours effectively. � Use of distraction Adults in a situation can often help a child by distracting them to another activity if they can see that they are becoming angry or stressed by a situation or event. Children can also make use of distraction for themselves, recognising the trigger to anger and immediately distracting themselves from the situation by engaging in a more positive activity. � Use of relocation or time out Very often when things get really stressful children may wish to choose to take time out of a situation. Individuals can be issued with time-out cards or some other means of indicating to the member of staff that they need to have some time to themselves in order to calm down. � Use of anger spoilers Children can make use of a range of anger spoilers such as counting to 10 or 100 or using the traffic lights system.

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Appendix 10  Behaviour Monitoring Chart Name ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………... Target behaviour …………………………………………………………………………………………………... Week beginning: AM 1

Break

AM 2

Lunch

PM 1

Break

PM 2

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Wednesday

  

  

  

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  

  

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Thursday

  

  

  

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Friday

  

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Monday

Tuesday

Comments

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Appendix 11  Reward Sticker Chart Name ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………… Date started ………………………………………………………………………………………………………. Key target ………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Monday

Place sticker here!

Place sticker here!

Place sticker here!

Tuesday

Place sticker here!

Place sticker here!

Place sticker here!

Wednesday

Place sticker here!

Place sticker here!

Place sticker here!

Thursday

Place sticker here!

Place sticker here!

Place sticker here!

Friday

Place sticker here!

Place sticker here!

Place sticker here!

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Appendix 12  Information Sheet on Attachment Disorders Attachment disorders are the result of negative experiences in early caregiver relationships. If young children feel repeatedly abandoned, isolated, powerless or uncared for, for whatever reason, they will learn that they can’t depend on others and that the world is a dangerous and frightening place to be living in. Reactive Attachment Disorder and other attachment problems occur when children have been unable to consistently connect with a parent or primary caregiver. This can happen for many reasons, including one or more of the following: `` `` `` `` `` `` `` `` ``

A baby cries and no one responds or offers appropriate comfort. A baby is hungry or wet and they aren’t attended for extended periods of time. No one looks at, talks to or smiles at the baby, so the baby feels alone and isolated. A young child only gets adult attention by acting out or displaying other extreme behaviours (the implications for teachers in the early years begin to become evident). A young child or baby is mistreated or abused – physically, sexually or emotionally. Sometimes the child’s needs are met and sometimes they aren’t. The child never knows what to expect and has to exist in a state of flux and uncertainty. The infant or young child is hospitalised or separated from his or her parents for an extended period. A baby or young child is moved from one caregiver to another as a result of adoption, foster care or the loss of a parent. The parent is emotionally unavailable because of depression, a bereavement, an illness or a substance abuse problem/issue.

Unfortunately, the circumstances that cause the attachment problems are sometimes clearly unavoidable. Early signs and symptoms of insecure attachment in young children and infants include the following: `` `` `` `` ``

Avoids eye contact Doesn’t smile/look happy Doesn’t reach out to be picked up/cuddled/touched Rejects efforts to calm, soothe and connect Doesn’t seem to notice or care when the parent leaves them alone for short/extended periods of time `` Cries inconsolably and on a frequent basis `` Doesn’t coo or make sounds

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`` Doesn’t follow the parent or caregiver with his or her eye `` Isn’t interested in playing interactive games or playing with toys/others in their context `` Spends a significant amount of time rocking or comforting themselves Children with Reactive Attachment Disorder have been so disrupted in early life that their future relationships are also impaired. They have difficulty relating to others and are often developmentally delayed. Reactive Attachment Disorder is common in children who have been abused, accessed a range of foster care, lived in orphanages/residential units or who have been taken away from their primary caregiver after establishing a genuine bond. These are the children who may display an aversion to touch or physical affection. They will frequently go to great lengths in order not to feel helpless and remain in control. They can present as argumentative, defiant and disobedient, and will frequently display anger problems. They may express their anger directly, in tantrums or acting out, or through manipulative, passive-aggressive behaviour. Children with Reactive Attachment Disorder may hide their anger in socially acceptable actions, like giving a high five that hurts or hugging someone too hard. They may also display difficulty in showing genuine care and affection. For example, children with Reactive Attachment Disorder may act with excessive affection for strangers while displaying little or no affection towards their parents. These children also display an underdeveloped conscience. Children with Reactive Attachment Disorder may act like they don’t have a conscience and fail to show guilt, regret or remorse after behaving badly.

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Appendix 13  Strategy Sheet: Attachment Disorders `` Always be predictable, consistent and repetitive. Children with attachment disorder are very sensitive to changes in schedules, transitions, surprises and chaotic social situations. This will help the children to feel safe and secure, which in turn will reduce anxiety and fear. `` Model and teach appropriate social behaviours. One of the best ways to teach these children social skills is to model the behaviour and then narrate for the child what you are doing and why. Always be explicit and keep language clear, precise and simple. Remember – less is more regarding language. `` Avoid power struggles. When intervening, present yourself in a light and matter-of-fact style. This reduces the child’s desire to control the situation. When possible use humour. If children can get an emotional response from you, they will feel as though they have hooked you into the struggle for power and they are winning. This will then lead to an escalation of the problem. `` Break assignments into manageable steps to help clarify complex, multi-step directions. This will ensure the child can understand each step as they proceed through the activity. `` Identify a place for the child to go to (time out) in order to regain composure during times of frustration and anxiety. Do this only if the child is capable of using this technique and there is an appropriate supervised location. `` If/when you observe a child beginning to display what for them are ‘soothing’ behaviours, e.g. rocking, head banging, biting, scratching or cutting themselves, ensure that you remove them from the public classroom context. These symptoms will generally increase during times of stress or threat. `` Do not show anger if the child fails to show remorse for hurting others (including animals, smaller children, peers, siblings). Remember that this is all part of the disorder and some of these behaviours may be a means of the child engaging you or others in conflict and gaining more control. State why the behaviours are wrong in a firm, precise and unemotional manner. `` Be available straight away to reconnect following a conflict. For children with insecure attachment and attachment disorders, conflict can be especially disturbing. After a conflict or tantrum where you’ve had to discipline the child, be ready to reconnect as soon as he or she is ready. This reinforces your consistency and support and will help the child develop a trust that you’ll be there for them at all times and no matter how they ‘behave’. `` Have realistic expectations and focus on making small steps forward and celebrate every sign of success. `` Stay patient. The process of change may not be a fast one and there will be difficulties along the way. But by remaining patient and focusing on small improvements it is possible to create an atmosphere of safety for the child. `` Always acknowledge and praise good decisions and good behaviour but be specific with the praise: ‘You’ve been good today’ will generally mean little to the child with an Appendices 175

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`` ``

``

`` `` ``

attachment disorder whereas ‘You have written that down beautifully. Your writing is very neat and clear and looks lovely’ will mean a lot more. Use ‘I’ statements when administering consequences for poor behaviour and decisions, e.g. ‘I’m disappointed you did that’. Remove yourself away from the child or situation. Award yourself time out if or when the stress levels become more extreme and ensure that back-up is available in the form of peer support and respite for yourself. Ensure an understanding of cause and effect by teaching about choices, i.e. ‘You are choosing to distract others from their work’. This can then lead on to teaching about the distinction between helpful and unhelpful choices. Avoid using the words ‘lying’ or ‘manipulating’ with such children and replace these with ‘con’ or ‘trick’, e.g. you are trying to trick me into getting upset. Continually check that the child has and maintains a healthy lifestyle with a good diet, adequate sleep and appropriate levels of exercise. Use your peer support network and always ask for help. The child with an attachment disorder presents a significant and stressful challenge for all involved and this demands a multi-agency approach with parents/carers, teachers, TAs, clinicians and specialist staff all working together to identify what works for each individual. Such close liaison should also ensure that the child with an attachment disorder cannot manipulate the carers or play them off against one another, and ultimately this will aid inclusion and behaviour change.

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Appendix 14  Nurture Group Information Sheet What is a Nurture Group? In effect, a nurture group is inclusive early intervention and prevention for the development of social, emotional and behavioural difficulties within a mainstream setting. It is also a provision in which the day is one of carefully structured routines providing a balance of learning, teaching, affection and structure within a homelike environment. It is also a group in which children are placed not due to their limitations with regard to ability, but simply because they have missed out on early experiences that promote good development – particularly in the areas of social, emotional and behavioural skills. Nurture groups offer a context and a model of relationships to children who have been missing out, or who have insufficiently internalised essential early learning experiences. They are generally a within-school resource, staffed by two adults for up to 10 children, and offer short or medium placements where the children attend regularly. They usually fully return to their mainstream classroom within two to four terms. Nurture groups do not in any sense stigmatise the children who attend since the intervention is planned as part of a whole-school approach to supporting children. In fact, the children generally have strong links with their mainstream class, e.g. registering there in the morning, attending selective activities and spending social time in lunchtimes with their classroom peer group.

Setting up a Nurture Group Room The room is intended as an educational setting but clearly includes the elements of a secure and supportive home. Alongside the normal classroom furniture there are comfortable chairs and sofas, a cooking area and a large mirror. The room should ideally have four or five areas: a kitchen area, a dining area, a role-play area and a quiet area. All these areas will be appropriately resourced, while supplementary resources may also include the following: `` A small writing or book making corner `` A listening station, which is valuable when children want to listen to story tapes or simply record their own stories, thoughts and feelings and share them later if they so desire `` Sand and water areas `` Dolls, pushchair or buggy `` Train sets and play bricks `` Basket or similar for children who need to curl up and be apart from the rest of the group at any point during the sessions `` Early years’ resources and activities which are available generally (these can be rotated from time to time so that all children are not overwhelmed by choice) `` Display boards for children’s work and also for parents’ information and staff timetabling. Appendices 177

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The Timetable The majority of nurture group sessions are likely to be approximately two hours in length and it is clearly more practical – in terms of the school timetable – to ensure that times remain consistent throughout the year. `` The first half hour of the session is when the children engage in Free Play. They can access a range of activities at this time and it is an ideal opportunity for staff to observe the children’s learning and development of social and emotional skills. Table top and floor activities can be set up to cover each area of learning. `` The second 45 minutes of the session is when the children engage in Group Time. One member of the staff will lead the group while the other becomes a member of the group, providing a role model for the children. Activities in this session may include the following: − Days of the week − Weather − Finding name cards − Choosing a special helper − Playing a short game linked to number or letter recognition − Playing the ‘bag’ game (see below) `` The next 30 minutes is for Toast Time. This is when a special helper helps prepare and serve the toast and drinks to the peer group. During this time, both the adults and the children sit down together at the table. This enables the adults to model social conversation and engage in any problem solving regarding a current issue that may have arisen within the group. `` The next part of the session involves Focused Teaching. This is when one member of staff will carry out focused teaching tasks with individual children. Each child will try to complete the task during this time, either in a one-to-one or a small group context. This enables the other member of staff to interact with other children in their play while these activities are being implemented. `` The final part of the nurture group session is that of Story Time, where one member of the staff reads a story to the group as a whole while the other becomes part of the group once again. This enables them to model appropriate behaviour, listening skills, etc, and also support the children’s enjoyment, learning and development of language skills.

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