The Abolition of Work and Other Essays 0915179415

Table of contents :
Foreword by Ed Lawrence
Introduction by Ivan Stang
I’ve Got a Nietzsche Trigger Finger
PART I: THE ABOLITION OF WORK
Introduction
The Abolition of Work
PART II: THE LAST INTERNATIONAL (1977-1983)
Introduction
Religion as Banality
The Ballad of Brenda Spencer
Theses on Groucho Marxism
(Ass)Holism
Because of Laws
The Correct Line
Declasse(fieds)
Ins & Outs 20 Questions
Surrealist Destinies: Mix and Match Fighting Words
PART III: APPEAL TO REASON (1982-1984)
Introduction Anti-Nuclear Terror Let Us Prey!
A Bunch Abalone Left Rites
Electing Not to Vote Lying in State
Circle-A Deceit: A Review of Processed World
Notes on “Circle-A Deceit”
Review of “Conan”
Grown-ups Say the Darndest Things
The Cult to End All Cults
The Political Theology of Ferlinghetti
PART IV: OTHER VICES
Introduction
A Lunatic Fringe Credo Words of Power
Preface to The Right To Be Greedy
Feminism as Fascism
The Exquisite Corpse
The Libertarian As Conservative
Anarchism and Other Impediments to Anarchy
The Best Book Catalog in The World

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THE ABOLITION OF WORK and other essays

BY BOB BLACK

THE ABOLITION OF WORK AND OTHER ESSAYS

by Bob Black

THE ABOLITION OF WORK AND OTHER ESSAYS Not copyrighted. Any of the material in this book may be freely reproduced, translated or adapted, even without mentioning the source.

Published by: Loompanics Unlimited PO Box 1197 Port Townsend, WA 98368

C ove r by D onna Kossy

ISBN 0-915179-41-5

TABLE O F CONTENTS

Fo rewa rd by E d Lawre nce. Introduction by Ivan Stang

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I 've G ot a Nietzsc h e T rig g e r Fin g e r...................... 1 3 PART 1: T H E A B O LITI O N O F WO RK I nt roduction ............................................. 1 5 The Abo lition of Work................................... 1 7 PART I I : T H E LAST I NT E R N AT I O NA L ( 1 977- 1 983} I nt roduction ............................................. 35 Religion as B a n ality ................................ : .... 3 7 The Ba l l ad of B re n d a Spencer........................... 3 9 T heses o n G rouch o M a rxism ............................ 4 1 (Ass } H o lis m ............................................. 45 Because of Laws ........................................ 47 T h e Correct Line ........................................ 49 Dec l asse (fieds} .......................................... 53 I ns & Outs

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20 Questio ns ............................................ 57

Sur realist Destinies: Mix a n d M atch ...................... 59 Fig hti n g Wo rds.......................................... 6 1

PART I l l : A P P E A L T O R EAS O N ( 1 982-1 984 ) I nt roducti o n............................................. 65 A n t i -Nuc lear Terro r ..................................... 67 Let Us P rey! ............................................ 71 A Bun c h A ba l o n e ....................................... 77 Left R i tes

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E l ect i n g N ot to Vote .................................... 83 Lyi n g i n State........................................... 87 C i rc l e-A Deceit: A Review of Processed World ...................................... 91 N otes o n " C i rcle-A Deceit" .............................. 97 Review of " C o n a n " ..................................... 1 0 1 G rown-u ps Say the Darndest T h i n gs ................... 1 05 T h e Cult to E n d Al l Cul ts .............................. 1 09 T h e Pol i t i c a l Theol ogy of Ferl i n g hetti ................... 1 1 5 PART I V : OT H ER V I C ES I nt roducti o n ............................................ 1 2 1 A Lunatic F r i n g e C redo ................................ 1 23 Wo rds of Powe r........................................ 1 25 P reface to The Right To Be G re edy .................... 1 29 Fem i n ism as Fasc ism................................... 1 33 T h e Exquisite Corpse .................................. 1 39 T h e L i be rta r i a n As Co nse rvative ........................ 1 4 1 A n a rc h ism a n d O t h e r I m ped i m ents to A n a rc h y.......... 1 49 T h e Best Book Cata l o g i n The Wo rld ................... 1 53

Dedication: To Donna Kossy

FOREW ARD BOB BLACK TEXT AND C ONTEXT by Ed Lawrence

"The errors of a wise man make your rule, Rather than the perfections of a fool" - William Blake

T h e re are words t h at f i t in t h e m o u t h onl y after a l l t h e teeth h ave been b ro k en out. Wo rds t h at swing d o wn l i ke w re c k ing bal l s from out of the d a r kness of the c ran i u m . Indent u red words coined by i m pove r i s h ed m inds. Wo rd s t h at c o l l ectively const itute t h e l ang u a g e of our t i m e . Lang u a g e t h at i s conce ived i n t h e h e a d can n o t h e l p b u t b e born b ra in dead . I ts l ette rs h e l d toget h e r l i ke t h e sti ffened fingers of a h and und e r t h e s pe l l of r i g o r m o rt i s . I ts every sentence a f uneral p rocess i on. The s h a d ow of d a r kness swa l l ows t h i s u p s i d e d o wn wo rl d . T h e s h adow i s stand a r d i z at i on. Stand a rd iza t i on i s t h e d eath of inan i m ate o bj e cts, w h i c h i s onl y to say i t i s the d eath of s p i r i t . B u t t h e d eath of s p i rit g oes by anoth e r name. I t i s u s u a l l y cal l e d t h e b i rt h of reason. T h e d rea m s of reas on are, at th i s l ate date, everywh e re to be seen, m uc h l i ke h eadstones in a c e m etery. T h e ine rt i a of a stand ard w h i c h p runes every t ree to the dim ens i ons of a u ti l ity pole wi l l , w i t h the same d ete rm inati on, core the h e a rt out of t h e h u m an pe rsonal ity. T h is fe r m enting m ind , intoxi cated b y its h eady s o b r i ety, m et h o d i c a l l y s l its its own t h roat, all the w h i l e m i stak ing t h e e l ongat ing wo und fo r a s m i l e . W h en t h e s p i ri t i s f ree, accord ing to N i etzsc h e , t h e h e a d w i l l b e t h e b owe l s o f t h e h e a rt . I n t h ese top heavy days t h at have t u rned l ife to psy-tu rvy the head has l ittl e a p pet i te for f reed o m . Instead i t h as d eveloped a taste fo r co p ro p h ag y .

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II

I f m out h s a re to be m o re t h a n c rematoriums they must not sto p at n oth i n g . N ot because n i h i l i s m g oes too far, but rat h e r because i t fai l s to g o fa r e n oug h . N i h i l i s m i s l i ke a st reet l i g ht . T h e o n l y c r i m e it n ever p revents i s t h e o n l y o n e t h at rea l l y m atters, the c r i m e o f i t s o w n ex i ste nce. A l l i t s desperate l i g h t eve r rea l ly s u cceeds i n d o i n g i s to obsc u re t h e view of t h e effe rvescent stars a n d t h e i r exa l ted d a n ce ac ross t h e d a r k n ess of the s ky . W h e n t h e s p i rit i s f ree i t w i l l s o a r . I ts refl ect i o n i m p ri s o n ed i n t h e m i rror o f n i h i l i s m i s t h e s p i rit o f g ravity. " N ot by w rat h , b u t by l aug hter d o w e s l ay. C o m e , l et u s s l ay t h e s p i rit of g rav i ty . " ( N i etzsc he) Ill

B o b B l ack h as bee n s l ay i n g t h e s p i rit of g rav i ty for s o m e years . H i s favo rite wea pon i s t h e pen k n i fe, a n d w h e n h e g oes fo r t h e t h roat, b reat h e easy , t h e us u a l res u l t i s a trach eoto m y of i n s p i rat i o n . H i s wri t i n g s a re a n exh i l a rati n g torrent t h at f lus hes o u t t h e ash of a l a n guage w h i c h clogs t h e t h roat . H i s work i s akin to the g reat l a b o r of H ercu l es , w h o d i ve rted two rivers to run t h roug h a n d c l eanse t h e Aug ean sta b l es . A k i n to, but even m o re d i ff i cu l t . T h e r i ve rs of H e rc u l es' tas k we re a t l east fres h a n d f l ow i n g , w h i l e t h e stream o f c o n sc i o u s n ess t h at n o w m u st b e detou red h as been c u t off from i ts source a n d beco m e a stag n a n t m a l a r i a l s u ccess poo l . B o b B l ack i s t h e h i g h p r i est o f n i h i l a r i ty . H i s c o n fess i o n a l h as D u c h a m p's u r i n a l b o l ted to its d oo r. H i s ten com m a n d m ents are a stri n g of,on e l i ne rs . H i s faith i s bal d l y h e ret i ca l . It beg i n s w h ere the d i ct i o n a ry e n d s , n ot with the ZZZ of a s n o re but with t h e c h aotic r r u m ' b l img o t a c h o rt l e that q u i c k e n s t h e sen ses l i ke a n earth q u ake t h at sways a pet ri f i e d forest. B y vi rtue of h i s faults, B l ack deri des t h e wheel w i t h out spo kes, t h e m a n d a l a of zero , a n d d e m o ra l izes t h e m i n d fo rged h i-tecto n i cs wh ose p o i s o n p resc ri bes t h at o n e s e i s m o g ra p h counte rfeits a l l .

By v i rt u e of g e n u i n e d e l i g ht h i s texts a re both a l ive a n d e n l iven i n g . H e i s t h e extraord i n a ry m ag i c i a n w h o p u l l s t h e perpet u a l l y u nexpected , t h e s i l k p u rse, f r o m o u t of t h e sq ueal i n g sow's e a r . W i t h i n t h ese pages n ot h i ng i s n ot a s i t see ms, a n d t h e wi n ged h o rse Pegasus fl ies f o r t h f ro m t h e n eck of t h e beh eaded Medusa.

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INTR O DUCTION REPENT!! QUIT YOUR JOB!!! BLACK OUT! by Rev. Ivan Stang It j u st occu r red to m e , for the f i rst t i me: B o b B l a c k i s aptly n a m ed . I d o n 't k n o w exactly h o w it sta rted, but s o m etime in 1980 I began rece i v i n g t h ese i ntense o n e-sh eet f l y e rs from w h at l ooked to be a fa n at i c a l a n t i -esta b l i s h m e n t g ro u p ca l l ed " T h e L ast I nternati o n a l . " I l oved t h e i r n a m e. I t t o o k m e a few m a i l i n g s t o rea l ize it was a l l com i n g from o n e m i sfit w h ose n a m e was B l ack but w h ose s i g n at u re was a ' n eg ate' m a r k . Ta l k a b o u t p ro p h ets h ow l i n g i n t h e w i l d n ess . . . t h i s g uy was spew i n g out so m e of t h e , u h , w i tti est h ate h u m o r I 'd ever see n . N ot o n l y was i t co m i n g hot a n d h eavy t h ro u g h t h e m ai l , b u t i t was a l s o g ett i n g posted al l ove r wh atever sq u a l i d n e i g h b o r h oods B o b l i ved i n . I t was rants, d i atri bes, j e re m i ad s , a n d h a ra n g u es, constru cted e n t i re l y of o n e- l i n e rs t h at were each wort h y of a b u m pe r st i cker u nto t h e mselves, a n d i l l u st rated w i t h s i m p l e b u t archetypal c l i p­ a rt j u xtapos i t i o n s that reached o u t a n d g ra b bed you . I , l i ke m a n y others at t h e s a m e ti m e , fe l t c o m pe l l ed to xe rox the st u ff a n d s p read i t f u rt h e r a ro u n d . Because i t cou l d o n ly h i t peo p l e o n e of t h ree ways , a n d a l l of t h e ways were g o o d ways to h i t t h e t h ree types of pote n t i a l v i ct i m s o r c o h o rts. T h ey wou l d a) l a u g h , b ) get p i ssed off, o r c ) mere l y b e c o n f u sed , a n d i g n o re i t . Because y o u couldn 't tell when " Th e L a s t In terna tion al" was kidding and when it was serious. T h i s q u a l i ty h as m a rked a l ot of the best sat i re of the 1 980's . . . you aren't e n t i re l y s u re t h at i t is sat i re . A n d i t i s n 't. T h e react i o n s i t p rovo kes a re too rea l . I ' m n ot s u re h ow m a n y peo p l e h ave been arrested for post i n g L ast I n ternat i o n a l f l yers, b u t if the cops had been d o i n g t h e i r j o b s , a l ot m o re wo u l d 've bee n . S o m et i m es the f lyers j u st l eft yo u as k i n g q u est i o n s . O t h e r ti mes t h ey m ad e a fo rcefu l a n d spec i f i c p o i n t . B u t t h ey a l ways

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h ad sty l e , a n d u n m i sta k a b l e " pe rfect s n i d e ness . " A n d t h ey a l w ays had H A T E . H ate for t h e E m p i re , t h e C o n s p i racy, t h e Wad , t h e C o m b i n e , t h e M a n . T h ey wo u l d've b e e n h o rrify i n g if t h ey were n't so fu n ny . To peo p l e w i t h bad sen ses of h u m o r, t h ey were i n d eed h o rrify i n g . T h ey we re n ' t so m u c h "t h e l i tt l e g uy" a g a i nst t h e a u t h o r i t i es as t h e crazy g u y . T h at was t h e fi rst t h i n g t h at made t h e m i nte rest i n g to m e . A n y o l d extre m i st g e e k c a n w rite j a rg o n ized p o l e m i c s a g a i n st t h e Bad G u ys, b ut o n l y the CRA ZY a re both m oti vated a n d d u m b e n o u g h t o f i re t h at f i rst s h ot in the revo l u t i o n. T h i s n utti ness g i ves B l ack's p i eces a n a u t h e n t i c ity, and a k i n d of cred i b i l i ty to the rest of u s c raz ies, t h at transce n d s a n y m e re p o l i t i c a l party. On the ot h e r h a n d , a n y s c h i z o can be a u t h e n t i ca l l y s c h izoi d . T h e t h i n g a b o u t B l ack's rants was t h at t h ey l o o ked i n sane by C H O I C E , and m o re i m p o rta n t l y , t h ey only looked i n s a n e b e c a u s e t h ey w e r e m o re U N R E L E N T I N G LY C L EV E R t h a n w h at p eo p l e were used t o . I f YO U we re n't c razy, t h e f l ye rs weren't c razy - t h ey were B R I L L I AN T . S o m et i m e s , off e n s i v e l y so. A n d t h at h a s a l ways b e e n o n e of t h e roots of B o b B l a c k's p ro b l e m . You k n ow , h i s " p ro b l e m . " I t h i n k it i rr i tates peo p l e o n a s u bco n s c i o u s l evel to be to l d , even i n a q u as i -j est i n g s i t u at i o n , t h at n ot o n l y a r e t h e i r cows N O T SAC R E D , b u t t h at s o m e peo p l e EAT t h e m . W i t h K ET C H U P ! Yes, a n y c razy can su c k i n t h e w o r l d's woes a n d t h e n s pew t h e m back out rearra n g ed . B u t B l ac k's a r ra n g e m e n t i s D EA D LY . H i s best work h u rts t h e b ra i n s o f n o r m a l s - act u a l l y i nj u res t h e m . A n d t h ey f i g h t back s o m et i m es , b u t not j u st w i t h words. I t's partly because B o b B l ack i s a natu ral wordsplicer. H e u ses N ewspeak against the M i n i stry of T r u t h . The words t h e m s e l ves a re j uxtap osi t i o n s of o ppos i n g b uzzwords . . . so that t hey are s i m u ltaneo u s l y fam i l i a r, b u t a l i e n . I t p u ts t h e read e r i nto "th i n k h ard" m o d e . T h e r i g ht s i d e o f h i s b ra i n i s o b v i o u s l y s c rea m i n g th ro u g h a m e g a p h o n e d i rect ly i nto h i s l eft brai n's ear, b u t for o n c e t h e l eft b ra i n is a b l e to m ake U S E of it. B o b u ses t h e too l s of p ro pa ga n d a to c reate s o m et h i n g too i n i t ia l l y confoun d i n g to be real p ropag a n d a . . . a n d eve n i f i t was p ro pa ga n d a , what's it p ro paga n d a for?? I n d i v i d u al ity? B y defi n it i o n , to p u s h

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" i n d i v i d u a l ity" t h ro u g h p r o pag a n d a i s a c o n t rad i ct i o n i n t e r m s . You d o n 't p reserve i n d i v i d u a l i ty by c reat i n g ro l e m o d e l s - you g et peo p l e to abandon ro l e models. Role models l i ke h e roes and g o d s a n d g ove r n m e n ts. B l ac k has n ot o n ly c o n ce p t u a l ized t h i s - p l e nty of " k o o ks" h ave too - but has s u cceeded in co m m u n icat i n g i t . . . in m a k i n g t r u e a n t i- p r o pa g a n d a , an a n t i d ote a g a i n st TV co m m e rc i a l s w h i c h a re a t h o u sa n d t i m es s i c k e r t h a n B o b's b l a c kest . As Sac red Scri be of t h e C h u rc h of the S u b G e n i u s , I h ave read m a n y m a n i festos w i t h t h e same m essa g e . T h e d i ffere n ce h e re i s , i t ' s WELL D O NE , a n d i t's N OT A M ESSAG E - it's the m a ssage itself! H e is the rare c o m b i nati o n , the t r u e o uts i d e r w h o is sti l l l i te rate, w h o ca n sti l l cope ( we l l , so far, a n yway) . . . a n d can m a k e t h e stru g g l e for s l a c k e n te rta i n i n g . I t 's p l a i n t h at a l ot of work g oes i n to his d i atri bes a g a i nst work. T h at's why, o u t of t h e h u n d reds o r t h o u s a n d s of peo p l e w h o s i m u l ta n e o u s l y b u t i n d e p e n d e n t l y sta rted s e l f-p u b l i s h i n g t h e i r " ra n ts" i n t h e l ate 1 970's ( t h a n ks to c h e a p xerox tec h n o l ogy) , o n ly a few n a mes s t i c k o u t , a n d B o b ' s is o n e of t h e m . I t i s my avocat i o n to seek o u t a l l t h ose a t t h e very fri n ges o f t h e ex p l o d i n g u n iverse, t h e o u t s i d ers, t h e U n w i tt i n g ( o r not) D i sco rd i a n s , t h ose n ot at t h e cutting e d g e b u t at the D ECAP I TAT I N G e d g e . . . t h ose p us h i n g t h e VERY P R E C I P I C E eve r forwa rd , p u s h i n g t h e B R I N K ever f u rt h e r b a c k , t ry i n g as h a rd as t h ey can to get away f ro m the center of t h i n g s i n o r d e r to m o re c l early S E E t h e center in re l at i o n to t h e W H O L E . Or s o m e s u c h s h i t . . . t h e re a re a l ot of peo p l e l i ke t h at . B u t every t i m e I d i scove red s o m e new f re a k i s h i n d i v i d u a l o r g ro u p o r p u b l i s h e r , B o b B l ack h ad a l ways g otten t h e re j u st before m e . H e h as n eve r been ent i re l y a l o n e because of t h i s . I t's p r o b a b l y w h y h e i s n 't d ead l i ke h i s f r i e n d G e rry R e i t h . I d o n 't t h i n k B ob eve r h a r b o red a n y i l l u s i o n s t h at h i s m a n i ac a l o n e-sh eet assa u lts we re g o i n g to H EL P t h e WO R L D - it's m o re l i ke, "Wel l , t h e wo r l d may a l ready be sc rewed p ast h o pe , b u t , by G o d , I W O N ' T GO DOWN W I T H O U T A F I G HT . " I t's the o l d " t h o r n i n t h e s i d e" batt l e p l a n , t h e " O p e rat i o n M i n df u c k " A n t i ­ C o n s p i racy - t h e love o f disorganiza tion t h at i s t h e o n l y M OT I V E fo r h a l t i n g t h e re l e n t l ess m a r c h towards co m p u l s ive over- o rg a n izati o n . The o l d-fash i o n e d , re l i a b l e term i tes-at-t he-

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fo u n d a t i o n s-of-soc i ety rout i n e . B u g s B u n n y. T h e O b n o x i o u s V i s i o n a ry W h o W o n ' t S h u t U p A b o u t H ow D u m b Y O U A re , f u e l ed by t h e s p i rit t h at , i n s o m e p re h i st o r i c a g e , was b o r n t h e fi rst t i m e t w o k i d s c u t u p i n c h u rc h . I t i s o u r N a m e l ess M i s s i o n t o keep t h i s s p i ri t a l ive. I t i s i n t h e g ra n d trad i t i o n o f S w i ft a n d a l l t h e o t h e r g reat pa m p h l eteers, streetc o r n e r p r o p h ets, and soap box ra nters . I t a l so p a rtakes o f a n o t h e r g ra n d trad i t i o n o f t h e c o u ra g e o u s pam p h l eteer - p ove rty. I d o n 't t h i n k B o b i s g o i n g to get r i c h off t h i s b o o k , a l t h o u g h it certa i n ly wo u l d be poet i c j u stice if he d i d . Few h ave wo rked h a rd e r a t d e n o u n c i n g w o r k ; h e s h o u l d a t l e ast b e pai d . He d i stri b u ted h i s flyers for free, a n d as fa r as fa m e g oes, we l l , h i s n a m e i s p r o b a b l y a m o n g t h e W h o's W h o o f t h e FB I , t h e Sec ret S e rv i c e , a n d a n y o n e e l se wh ose j o b it i s t o watch g uys l i ke B l ac k a n d m a k e s u re h e d oesn't g o to fou n d i n g a c h u rc h o r form i n g a n a r m y o r a n yth i n g l i ke that. When I rea l ized t h at " w o r k " was t h e m ost dest r u ct i ve yet l east­ ad. m itted of the Cons p i racy's too l s , I t ried to ex p l a i n i t to p eo p l e . Even th e " h ippest" h ave t ro u b l e m a k i n g t h i s p h i l os o p h i ca l l ea p A L L T H E WAY to i t s c o n c l u s i o n , t h o u g h . I t i s a l m ost U N I V E R S A L LY accepted t h at work i s s o m e i n evita b l e t h i n g l i ke b reat h i n g o r eati n g t h at t h e h u m a n race w i l l a l ways h ave to l i ve w i t h . It i s a r u l e s o i m b e d d ed in a l l c u l t u res t h at i t has a l ways been practi ca l l y u n s po ke n . I t's n e a r l y i m poss i b l e fo r peo p l e to rea l ly c o n c e pt u a l ize t h i s , so d e e p l y h as it been h a m m e red i n to the very c o re of o u r be i n g s . We a l l carry b l i ste rs f ro m d o i n g m u c h o f t h at h a m m e r i n g o u rse l ves! It m ay ta ke h u m a n i ty 1 0, 000 yea rs to rea l ize t h at "work" as c u rre n t l y d ef i n ed i s t h e root of a ll evi l - but i f we d o n 't sta rt w o rk i n g at abo l i s h i n g work N OW , i t' l l take eve n L O N G E R ! W h at d o we s u g g est as a R E PLAC E M EN T for t o i l? We l l, n e i t h e r B lack nor I h ave g otten to t h at yet. We' l l c ross t h at b r i d g e w h e n we come to i t . Let the ro bots or s o m et h i n g d o the s h i twork - if t h e re aren't P E O P L E who want to d o it, and t h e re probab l y wi l l be. ( We l l , t h e i d ea i s n 't rea l ly as s i m p l e as a l l t h at. I s h o u l d n ' t n eed to spe l l o u t t h at i t i s n 't "work" per s e t h at b o t h e rs u s , b u t the p red i c a m e n t t h at o n ly t h e born-rich can avo i d : H AV I N G to spend half a l i fe on s o m et h i n g yo u rea l l y d o n 't want t o do. O h ,

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you say y o u L I K E e n te r i n g d ata fo r $4 .65 a n h o u r f o r s o m e o n e you d o n 't k n ow , so t h at so m et h i n g y o u d o n 't u n de rsta n d can h a p pen? A l l I can say i s t h at t h e f i rst ste p towards f reed o m i s t o rea l ize t h at yo u r a re a . . . a h , fo rget i t . ) C o m m u n i s m sta rted o u t as a b u n c h of pa m p h l ets. B l ac k ' s sp leen-ex p l o s i o n s are ten t i mes m o re s u bvers i ve t h a n t h e C o m m u n i st M a n i festo - C o m m u n i s m a n d a l l its i l k sti l l t a k e work fo r G RA N T E D ( a n d t h e p a y i s l o u sy to b o o t ) - but at t h e same ti m e t h e L a s t I n ternat i o n a l flyers a re a t h o us a n d t i m es m o re A m e r i c a n t h a n t h e B i l l of R i g hts. B l ac k i s m e r e l y thin king ahead. I n effect, B l ac k is d ri l l i n g pat i e n t l y away at t h e VE R Y FO U N DAT I O N of o u r c i v i l izat i o n . TH E CO RE. T h e ROTT E N CORE. A n d t h e n th ere's t h e we i rd p o l i t i c a l viewp o i n t f ro m w h i c h B l a c k h atc h es h i s l i tera ry term i tes. A t s o m e p o i nt i n t h e d i m p ast it m ay have been Left i st , but n ow t h e Left is t h e target h e ' s 1 c l osest to a n d t h e eas i est to h it dead b u l l seye . S o m e h ow t h e m oveme nts t h at we re s u p posed to be fai l safe - a n a rc h y , L i bertari a n i s m , etc . -al l t u r n e d i nto stu p i d cartoo n s of h u m a n fo l ly before h i s very eyes. A L L H E D I D WAS RE P O R T I T . H e 's n ot o n t h e ri g h t s i d e of center o r t h e l eft, b u t rat h e r at t h e po i nt BETWEE N t h e two o n t h e fa r e n d of a C I R C LE t h at t h ey both c reate . A n d t h en up ( o r d own?) a b o u t 1 0 feet off t h e d i ag ra m , f i x t h at p o i n t i n th i n a i r - t h at's B o b B l ack's p l ace o n t h e p o l i t i ca l spectr u m . T h i s i s s u bvers i o n f ro m a n E N T I R E LY NEW D I RE CT I O N , and I N a n e n t i re l y new d i rect i o n . . . one side of t h e p o l i t i c a l spect r u m i s as b a d a s t h e o t h e r w h e n yo u ' re sta n d i n g t h i s far back. B l ack's n o C o m m i e ; h e d oesn 't want eve ry o n e eq u a l l y p o o r ­ h e wants eve ry o n e J U ST P LA I N R I C H , b u t W I T H O U T WO R K I N G . Stu p i d? A p i pe d ream? T h i s e n t i re c i v i l izat i o n i s a STU P I D P I P E D REA M . I f o u r re m ote a n c esto rs co u l d h ave seen u s in a c rysta l b a l l , t h ey wou l d h ave P U K E D . B o b B l ac k was BOR N i n to this centu ry b u t he's P U K I N G A N YWAY. I n deed , he's p u k i n g eve ryw h e re h e c a n . H e wants " T H E M " to k n o w t h at you can 't hide from the p uke.

He has l eft h i s b l oody werew o l f t racks on every w o rt h y fe l l ow d i s r u pter's n etwo rks f ro m S u bG e n i u s to D i a l-A-R u m o r , a n d l ately i n j u st a b o u t eve ry wo u l d - b e c o u n te rc u l t u ra l " a b ove-

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g ro u n d " p u b l i c at i o n h e can g et i nto, w h i c h i s a l ot of t h e m n owadays . T h e F O OLS - t h ey d o n 't k n ow w h at h e ' s t ry i n g to D O to t h e m ! H e see m s to f i n d g reat p l eas u re i n i nvad i n g a n y m ag az i n e t h at c o n s i d e rs itself " rad i ca l " j u st to s h ow t h e m t h at " rad i c a l " i s re lative. H e l oves to s h ow peo p l e t h i n g s t h ey d on't u n d e rstan d , t o rem i n d t h e m o f t h i s . W h i c h b r i n g s u s to B o b B l ac k's e n e m i e s , w h o a r e l eg i o n , a n d m a n y of w h o m were o n c e h i s f r i e n d s . O n e of m y g reat w o r r i es i s h o w l o n g i t w i l l be befo re h e d e c i d es I h ave bec o m e a h o p e l ess case and g u n s for me, too. W i t h B o b , you g et the i m press i o n t h at i t cou l d a l ways h a p p e n a t A N Y S E CO N D . H e's a rat h e r d e m a n d i n g g u y. I 've bee n i n h i s c o m pany o n ly a few t i m es , a n d a l ways b ri ef l y , so h i s o n - l i n e perso n a l i ty i s rea l ly u n k n own to m e . . . but I k n ow t h at h e refuses to p ret e n d t h at he's lett i n g you foo l h i m . I t ' s p ro b a b l y a g ood th i n g t h at we l i ve s o f a r f ro m e a c h oth e r. W h at t h rows peo p l e off i s t h at B l ac k wa nts to h ave h i s cake and eat i t too. W H Y IS T H AT TOO M U C H TO A S K? W h at's the point in H AV I N G t h e d a m n C A K E u n l ess yo u ' re g o i n g to EAT i t? W h at ' re y o u g o n n a d o w i t h i t , s h ow i t to you r f r i e n d s? W h at's t h e p o i n t i n be i n g a b l e to A F FO R D l e i s u re t i m e i f you d o n 't h ave T I M E fo r it? T h ese q u est i o n s a re l itera l l y too h i d e o u s in t h e i r u l t i m ate i m p l i cat i o n s for m ost peo p l e to D W ELL u po n . I t re m i n d s t h e m o f w h at t h ey've ALR EADY LOST . A n d t h at's w h at t h ey are afra i d to ad m it: how m u c h is a l ready G O N E FO R EV E R . T o even ask t h i s q u est i o n I M PL I ES T H AT O N E'S L I F E I S B E I N G WAST E D . I t's l i k e a n i n s u l t co m i n g fro m a n u n k n ow n so u rce. We wo u l d be forced to K N OW we a re S T U P I D ! B es i d es , w h at ca n we d o a b o u t i t , an yway? We can do w h atever it is t h at we d o best , w h i c h i s u p to each of u s to d e c i d e . T h at's w h at B lack wants retu r n ed to u s - the d ec i s i o n , t h e c h o i ce . ( We l l , so m e who aren 't b o r n r i c h , do g et t h e c h o ice, b u t o n ly if t h ey ' re lucky. T h e l u cky o n es a l ways fo rget t h i s . ) I d o n't t h i n k he act u a l ly expects to g et t h at c h o i ce h i m s e l f , n ot o n T H I S p l a n et , n ot T H I S c e n t u ry - h e j u st doesn 't want to be the o n l y pers o n who K N OWS T H E R E CAN BE O N E . A g ood c h u n k o f t h e i ro n y reg a rd i n g T H E A B O L I T I O N O F WO R K i s t h at t h e ave rag e worker can o n l y u n d e rsta n d h a l f t h e b as i c g i st, a n d i nt e rp rets i t as l az i n ess. T h e re a r e peo p l e w h o

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h ate work because t h ey are l azy. B u t w h at m a d e t h e m l azy? T h ey were s m a rt e n o u g h to see t h at t h e re is no m ea n i n g to w h at m ost of t h e w o r l d i s d o i n g o n auto- p i l ot . . . b u t n ot s m a rt e n o u g h t o rea l ize t h at t h ey have t h e i r o w n m e a n i n g i n t h e bac k o f t h e i r m i n d s , o r h i d de n i n t h e i r d rawers. I t's precisely because we a re NOT l azy t h at we wa nt to Q U I T WO R K I N G - j e s u s , we've g ot WO R K to d o i f we d o n 't wa nt to WAST E O U R L I V E S o n some J O B ! B l ack has h ad to s u p po rt h i mself, to work fo r t h e C o n s p i racy j u st l i k e anybody e l s e . H i s o n ly oth e r c h o i ce , i f h e wants to s p e n d h i s t i m e o n w h at h e d oes best, is poverty. W H Y A R E N 'T T H E R E O T H E R C H O I C ES? Because n o bo d y tho u g ht of t h i s 500 years a g o , t h at's why. B l ac k ' s i s a l o n g- r a n g e p roject. I t's n o j ac k-off. H e K N OWS he wo n't l i ve to see it h a p p e n - h e ' l l s u re l y die f i rst, p a rt l y because h e's h ad to work so h a rd . I n d eed , i t i s o u r very H A T E o f t h e work t h at keeps u s g o i n g . Speak i n g j u st fo r myse lf, I wa n t R EV E N G E fo r a l l t h e yea rs t h ey've A L R EADY TA K E N . T h ey've exto rted 3/4's of my waki n g h o u rs , h a l f m y d re a m s , a n d h ave n o d o u bt s h aved 20 years off my l ifet i m e t h a n ks t o h y p e rte n s i o n , stress, etc. I W I L L D I E O F WO R K . Even i f I c a n eve n t u a l l y m a ke a l i vi n g off t h e t h i n g s I l i ke - i . e . , e n d l ess ra nts l i ke t h i s - i n stead of c o r p o rate usel essn ess, it's ST I L L ALL W R O N G . I S H O U L D N 'T HAVE TO. I d o n 't m i n d D O I N G it - w h at I m i n d i s t h e fact t h at I ' m n ot g i ven a CHOI CE. F o r t h e s l ac ke r w h o i s a l s o a workah o l i c , l i ke B l ac k , o n ly t h e c o n t ro l l e d p ractice of sc h i zo p h re n i at r i c s can a l l ow o n e t o STAY SA N E. N o w o n d e r h e writes s o wel l . N o wo n d e r h e c h u rn s o u t a l l t h i s a n ti -wo rk wo rk fo r n ot h i n g . H E H A S T O , O R H E W I LL G O EVEN MADDER. A n d yet, i f y o u l o o k a l i tt l e c l oser, it's o b v i o u s t h at B o b m u st be fu l l of h ope. It wou l d take an a l m ost s u pe r h u m a n a m o u nt of h o pe fo r the f u t u re to c o u nterba l a n ce h i s h i d eo u s l y b l a c k v i s i o n of t h e p rese n t . F o r h i m t o w r i t e T H E A BO L I T I O N O F WO R K i m p l ies t h at h e t h i n ks s o m e d ay i t W I L L H A P P E N . T h i s certa i nty d e m o n st rates a h o pe even deeper t h a n the p i t B l ac k f i n d s us a l l i n n ow. B la c k i s n 't t h rowi n g b o m b s , he's w ri t i n g b o o k s . And t hat's l i ke g o i n g after t h e Co l ossus w i t h a pea-s h ooter. T h e C o l ossus

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itself N EV E R N OT I C ES a s i n g l e pea b o u n c i n g off h i s a n k l es d ow n t h e re . B u t i f e n o u g h p eo p l e see wei rdos l i ke B o b b l asti n g away w i t h t h e i r p at h et i c l itt l e pea-sh o ote rs , a n d h avi n g a good time at it, some f u t u re race of a b n o rm a l s m ay get t h e i r act s u ff i c i e nt l y togeth e r to T I E T H E COLO S S U S 'S S H O ELAC ES T O G ETH E R w h i le h e i s d i st racted by t h e s u d d e n f us i l l a d e of peas . And o n ce s o m eth i n g T H AT B I G i s d o w n , it's as g ood as OUT. Yes . . . t h e re i s H O P E , i f n ot m u c h PAY. TH E A B OL I T I O N OF W O R K , p r o b a b l y the m ost rece n t p i ece in h e re , i s a g reat c u l m i n at i o n of. . . s o m e t h i n g . . . Perhaps s o m eday i t w i l l b e R EQ U I R E D R EA D I N G in our e l e m e n tary s c h o o l s - with s i m p l e r wo rd s , of co u rse, and with c u te i l l u s t rat i o n s of Care Bears t h row i n g d ow n t h e i r t oo l s a n d b ri efcases a n d wal k i n g off t h e j o b . P e r h a ps s o m ed ay h i sto ry w i l l b e d i v i d ed i nto " B efo re B o b " a n d " Afte r B o b . " O r, p e r h a ps t h i s mate r i a l w i l l b e ba n ne d . P e r h a ps foss i l ized a n d forg otte n . B ut s o m ew h e re , i n s o m e oth e r t i m e a n d p l ace, h opefu l l y s oo n , s o m e K I D w i l l u n earth i t , read it a n d g i ve b i rt h to a n eve n B ETT E R TER M I TE.

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"Anyone, provided that he can be amusing, has the right to talk of himself."­ BAUDELAIRE

I'VE G OT A NIETZS C HE TRIG G ER FIN G ER!

(A BRAG) P l ease a l low m e to i ntrod u c e myse l f . . . a m Black the Knife, I a m secretly famous, I have designer I ' m o n a m a c ro psyc h ot i c d i et , I ' m a n a r c h o rexi c , I u n d erwe nt pal eo l it h i u m treat m e n t , I ' m t h e 6-Pac- M a n ! I n ot o n l y k n ow W h o Wrote t h e B o o k o f Love, I ed ited o u t t h e m ushy parts! I p ract i c e satantric yoga, I g rad u ated S u m m a C u m Lou d m o u t h f r o m M i skato n i c U n ivers i ty , I ' m fee l i n g my Q u i xotes! I tau g h t M a o Zed o n g t o swi m: I tau g h t H it l e r t o h a n g wa l l paper: I tau g h t Anne S ullivan h o w to say " wate r": I ta u g h t " Bo b " h o w to inhale. I b ro ke t h e co m m o n c o d e , I tripped t h e G reat Leap Fo rwa rd ! I

genes,

I w rote my own s c r i pt u res, t h e D a rth Vedas. Eve ryw h e re I g o , s p r i n g u p i n m y wake, I s m o ke P ot l atc h ! I d rew atte n t i o n to the savant p ro b l e m , I sto m p st ri p- m i n d e rs and b u l l y b a n a l - retentives, I put t h e sat i re back i n to saty r i as i s , I d e m a n d spec i a l p r i v i l eges f o r everybody. I c u t t h e d e c k a l l t h e w a y d o w n to steerage. I t h rew S n o w ba l l s a t N a p o l e o n - I reve a l ed t h at Reag a n ' s m a k e u p is K h m e r ro u g e - I p l ay J a m es B rady's skull l i ke a piccolo. A m a l c h e m ist, I t u rn g o l d i nto lead , I ' m i m p ro p e rti ed , I r u n a D u c k So u p k i tc h e n , I s h owed t h at Aq u a r i u s i s not a R o m a n q u eer. A s for t h e fam i ly I say, " l n c ' est I a v i e ! "

ca rgo cults

I pe rfo rm cynicalisthenics, I exo rc ise w i t h o u t eve n wo rk i n g u p a sweat, I ru n o n dialectricity, I g o whole-hog-wild! I s a i d "Yo' M a m a ! " to Dad a ! I say " F u c k ' e m eve n i f t h ey c a n take a j o k e ! " Afte r M y D i n n e r W i t h A n d re B reto n h e g ot h i s j ust desserts! I g ot " Do kt o rs fo r ' B o b "' to w r i te m e a 'scrip- w i t h unlimited refills. I took a n E r i s P o l l a n d w o n 't g ive i t bac k ! I o rg a n ized Deto u rn e m e n t of Roses, I f l u n g t h e n e plus ultra- l eft ag a i n st d e rigeur mortis, I tel l eve ry o n e n ot t o do w h at I say! I ' m b e h i nd t h e odd- bal l , m y a n cestor was P u t d o w n M a n ! J u d g e C rate r freed m e o n my own recognizance, I as k : " W h at wo u l d H a r p o say ? "

13

F o r m e , know a i n't n o t h i n g b u t no m i sspel led , a n d a l l c ret i n s a r e l i a rs . i g o-fo r- baroq u e , I ' m a l ow l i fe h i erarc h , I p i c ked t h e L o c ke a n d e n tered t h e Avant- G a r d e n of E d e n . I g ot S pa rtac u s t o take t h e rap f o r m e ! I ' m t h e heavywe i g ht L i g ht-B ri n ger, I ' m t h e o u t- of-co u rt j ester w h o won't sett l e, I u p t h e v i g i l a nte, I ' m a law u nto myse l f b u t b reak i t a nyway! I m a d e a fo rced l a n d i n g o n the M oe b i u s St r i p and n ow I want to k n ow, w h i c h side a re you o n ? THE SPIRIT OF THE TZARA liVES ON!

( 1 982)

14

I. THE ABOLITION OF WORK

(1980, 1985)

"Abo l i t i o n " o r i g i n ated as a s peec h at t h e G o r i l l a G rotto i n S a n F ra n c i sc o , a n " ad u l t p l ay e n v i ro n m e n t , " i n F e b r u a ry 1 98 1 . P r o p r i eto r G a ry Warne, w h o l ate r beca m e a p o l i c e m a n , h as d e n o u n ced t h e even t as t h e wo rst specta c l e he's eve r staged , a n d h e m u st h ave meant i t s i n ce h e later h ad h i s g o o n s beat m e u p . I nt r i g u e d b y t h e posters o f t h e L ast I n t e r n at i o n a l (see II. bel ow) , Warne c h a l l en g e d m e to " p u t y o u r foot w h e re you r m o u t h i s . " I put i t s o m ew h e re e l s e . T h e exc l u s i o n of a n o isy g ro u p of p u n ks who, at m y i nst i g at i o n , t r i e d to get in w i t h o u t pay i n g w a s o n l y o n e of t h e eve n i n g 's d ivers i o n s . F i ve years l ate r I rev i se d a n d g reat ly exp a n d ed t h e s p i e l i nt o t h e fo l l owi n g essay, w h i l e reta i n i n g , I t h i n k , m u c h of its f e e l as a speec h . I t has p r i d e of p l ac e because I st i l l t h i n k , as m a n y of t h e ot h e r texts assert i n part i c u l a r c o n texts, t h at work as t h e m ost f u n d a m ental n e g at i o n of free d o m is a n i n sti t u t i o n t h at m u st be a d d ressed , and ove rc o m e , by a n y o n e p reten d i n g t o h ave a n i nte rest i n l i b e rty. A n y o n e w h o i g n o res o r evades t h e i s s u e of work itse l f m ay we l l be a " l i berta r i a n " ( o r for t h at m atter a M a rx i st) b u t h e i s n o l i bertar i a n .

15

THE ABOLITION OF WORK

N o o n e s h o u l d ever work. W o r k i s t h e s o u rce of nearly all t h e m i s e ry in t h e w o r l d . A l m ost any ev i l y o u ' d care to n a m e c o m es from wo rk i n g or f ro m l i vi n g i n a w o r l d d es i g n ed f o r work. I n o r d e r to stop s u fferi n g , w e have to stop wo rk i n g . T h at doesn 't mean w e h ave t o sto p d o i n g t h i n g s. I t does m e a n c reat i n g a n ew w a y of l i fe based o n p l ay ; i n oth e r words, a ludic revo l ution . By " p l ay" I m e a n a l s o festivity, c reat i v i ty , c o n v i v i a l i ty, c o m m e n s a l ity, a n d m aybe even a rt . T h e re i s m o re to p l ay t h a n c h i l d 's p l ay, as w o rt h y as t h at i s . I ca l l for a c o l l ective advent u re in g e n e ra l ized j oy and f reel y i nterd e p e n d e n t ex u berance. P l ay i s n 't p ass ive. D o u btl ess w e a l l n eed a l ot m o re t i m e f o r s h e e r s l ot h a n d s l a c k t h a n w e eve r e n j oy n ow, reg ard l ess of i n c o m e o r o c c u pat i o n , b u t o n c e recovered f r o m e m p l oy m e n t- i n d u ced ex h a u st i o n n e a r l y a l l of u s w a n t to act. O b l o m o v i s m a n d Sta k h a n o v i s m a r e t w o s i des of t h e s a m e d e based c o i n . T h e l u d i c l i fe i s tota l l y i n c o m pat i b l e w i t h existi n g rea l i ty . S o m u c h t h e w o rse fo r " rea l i ty , " t h e g rav i ty h o l e t h at s u c ks t h e vital ity f r o m t h e l i tt l e i n l i fe t h at sti l l d i st i n g u i s hes i t f r o m m e re s u rviva l . C u r i o u s l y - o r maybe n ot - a l l t h e o l d i d e o l o g ies are c o n s e rvat ive because t h ey be l i eve in wo r k . Some of t h e m , l i ke M a rx i s m a n d m ost b ra n d s of a n a rc h i s m , be l i eve i n work a l l t h e m o re f i e rcely beca use t h ey be l i eve i n so l i tt l e e l s e . L i bera l s s a y we s h o u l d e n d e m p l oy m e n t d i scri m i n at i o n . I say we s h o u l d end e m p l oy m e n t . C o n s e rvat i ves s u p p o rt r i g h t-to­ work laws. F o l l ow i n g K a r l Marx's wayward so n - i n - l aw Pa u l Lafarg u e I s u p po rt t h e r i g h t t o b e l azy. Left i sts favor f u l l e m p l o y m e n t . L i ke t h e s u rreal i sts - except t h at I ' m n ot k i d d i n g - I favor f u l l une m pl oy m e nt. T rots kyi sts ag itate for p e r m a n e n t revo l ut i o n . I ag i tate fo r pe r m a n e n t reve l ry . B u t i f a l l t h e i de o l o g ues (as t h ey d o ) advocate w o r k - a n d n ot o n l y bec a u s e t h ey p l a n t o m a ke o t h e r peo p l e d o th e i rs - t h ey a re st ra n g e l y

17

re l u cta n t to say s o . T h ey w i l l ca r ry o n e n d l es s l y a b o u t wages, exp l o i tat i o n , p rod u c t i v i ty , h o u rs , wo rk i n g cond itions, p rofita b i l ity. T h ey' l l g l ad ly ta l k a b o u t a n yt h i n g b u t work itse l f . T h ese experts w h o offe r to d o o u r t h i n k i n g for u s ra re l y s h a re t h e i r co n c l u s i o n s a b o u t work, for a l l its sal i e n cy i n t h e l i ves of a l l o f u s . A m o n g t h e m s e l ves t h ey q u i b b l e over t h e deta i l s . U n i o n s a n d m a n a g e m e n t ag ree t hat we o u g h t to se l l t h e t i m e of o u r l i ves i n exc h a n g e fo r s u rv i va l , a l th o u g h t h ey h a g g l e over the p r i ce . M a rx i sts t h i n k we s h o u l d b e bossed b y b u rea u c rats . L i berta r i a n s t h i n k we s h o u l d be bossed by b u s i n essme n . F e m i n i sts d o n 't care w h i c h f o r m boss i ng takes so l o n g a s t h e bosses a re wo m e n . C l ea r l y t h ese i d e o l o g y- m o n g e rs h ave ser i o u s d i ffere n ces over h ow to d i vvy up the s p o i l s of power. J ust as c l ea r l y , n o n e of t h e m h ave a n y o bj ect i o n to power as such a n d a l l of t h e m want to keep u s w o rk i n g . Y o u m a y b e wo n de r i n g i f I ' m j o k i n g o r seri o u s . I ' m j o k i n g and seri o u s . T o be l u d i c i s n o t to be l u d i c r o u s . P l ay d oesn't h ave to be frivo l o u s , a l t h o u g h frivol i ty i s n 't t r i v i a l i ty; very often we o u g h t to take frivo l i ty se r i o u s l y . I 'd l i ke l i fe to b e a g a m e - b u t a g a m e w i t h h i g h stakes. I want to p l ay tor keeps. T h e alternat i ve to work i s n 't j u st i d l e n ess. To be l u d i c is n ot t o be q u aal u d i c . As m u c h as I t reas u re t h e p l eas u re of torpor, it's n ever m o re reward i n g t h a n w h e n i t p u n ctu ates o t h e r p l easu res and pasti mes. N o r am I p r o m ot i n g the m a n aged t i me­ d i sci p l i ned safety-va l ve cal led " l e i s u re " ; fa r f ro m i t . Lei s u re is n o nwork f o r t h e sake of work . Le i s u re i s t h e ti m e spent recoveri n g fro m work a n d in the f re n z i ed b u t h o p e l ess atte m pt to forget a b o u t w o r k . M a n y peo p l e ret u rn f ro m vacat i o n so beat t h at t h ey l o o k fo rwa rd to retu rn i n g to work so t h ey can rest u p . T h e m a i n d i ffere n c e between work a n d l e i s u re i s t h at a t work at l east you get p a i d fo r yo u r a l i e n a t i o n a n d e n e rvat i o n . I am n ot p l ayi n g d e f i n it i o n a l g a m es w i t h a n y b o d y . W h e n I say I want to a b o l i s h work, I mean j u st w h at I say, but I wa nt to say w h at I mean by defi n i n g m y terms i n n o n - i d i osyn c rat i c ways. M y m i n i m u m defi n it i o n of w o r k i s forced labor, t h at i s , c o m p u l s o ry p rod u ct i o n . Both e l e m e nts a re esse n t i a l . W o r k is prod u ct i o n e n f o rced b y eco n o m i c o r p o l i t i c a l m e a n s , by t h e ca rrot o r t h e sti c k . ( T h e ca rrot i s j u st t h e st i c k by oth e r m e a n s . ) B u t n ot a l l c reat i o n i s work. W o r k i s n eve r d o n e f o r i ts o w n sake, it's d o n e

18

o n acco u nt of so m e p ro d u ct o r o u t p u t t h at t h e w o r k e r ( o r , m o re often , s o m e b o d y . else) g ets o u t of i t . T h i s i s w h at w o r k n ecessa r i l y i s . To d efi n e i t i s to d es p i se it. B u t w o r k i s u s u a l l y eve n wo rse t h a n i t s d ef i n i t i o n d e c rees. T h e d y n a m i c o f d o m i n at i o n i nt r i n s i c t o wo rk t e n d s ove r t i m e towa rd e l a b o rat i o n . I n advan ced work-ri d d l e d societies, i n c l u d i n g a l l i n d u s t r i a l s o c i e t i e s wheth e r c a p i ta l i st o r " C o m m u n i s t , " work i n va r ia b l y acq u i res o t h e r att r i b utes w h i c h accent uate i t s o b n ox i o u s n ess. U s u a l l y - a n d this i s even m o re true in " C o m m u n ist" t h a n c a p i ta l i st c o u n tries, w h e re t h e state i s a l m ost t h e o n l y e m p l oye r a n d every o n e i s a n e m p l oyee - work i s e m p l o y m e n t , i.e., wage­ l abor, w h ich m e a n s sel l i n g y o u rse l f o n t h e i nsta l l m e n t p l a n . T h u s 95% o f A m e r i c a n s w h o work, w o r k f o r s o m ebody ( o r s o m ething) e l s e . I n t h e U S S R o r C u ba o r Y u g os l av i a o r a n y ot h e r a l te r n at i ve m o d e l w h i c h m i g ht be a d d uced , t h e co rres po n d i n g f i g u re a p p roaches 1 00%. O n l y t h e e m batt l e d T h i rd W o r l d peasant bast i o n s - M ex i c o , I n d i a , B raz i l , T u rkey ­ tem po ra r i l y s h e lter s i g n i f i c a n t co n c e n t rat i o n s of ag r i c u l t u r i sts w h o perpet u ate the t rad i t i o n a l arra n g e m e n t of m ost l a b o re rs i n t h e l ast seve ra l m i l l e n n i a , t h e pay m e n t o f taxes (= ra n s o m ) to t h e state o r re nt t o paras i t i c l a n d l o rd s i n ret u rn for be i n g otherwise l eft alone. Even t h i s raw d e a l i s beg i n n i n g to l o o k good. A ll i n d ustrial ( a n d off i ce) wo rke rs a re e m p l oyees a n d u n d e r t h e s o rt of s u rve i l l an c e w h i c h e n s u res serv i l ity. But modern work h as worse i m p l i cati o n s . Peo p l e d o n 't j u st work, t h ey h ave "j o b s . " O n e person d oes o n e p ro d u ct i ve tas k a l l t h e ti m e o n a n o r-else bas i s . Even i f t h e tas k h as a q u a n t u m of i nt r i n s i c i nterest ( as i n c reas i n g ly m a n y j o bs d o n 't) t h e m o n ot o n y of i t s o b l i g ato ry exc l u s i v i ty d ra i n s i t s l u d i c poten t i a l . A " j o b " t h at m i g h t e n g ag e t h e e n e rgies o f s o m e p eo p l e , f o r a reaso n a b l y l i m ited ti m e , for t h e fu n of it, i s j u st a b u rd e n o n those w h o have t o d o it fo r fo rty h o u rs a week w i t h n o say i n h o w i t s h ou l d be d o n e , fo r t h e prof i t of o w n e rs w h o co n t r i bute n ot h i n g to t h e p roj ect, a n d w i t h n o o p p o rt u n ity f o r s h a ri n g tas ks o r s p read i n g the work a m o n g th ose who act u a l l y h ave to d o i t . T h i s i s t h e rea l w o r l d of w o r k : a w o r l d of b u reau c rat i c b l u n d e ri n g , of sex u a l h a rass m e n t a n d d i s c ri m i n at i o n , of b o n e h ead bosses ex p l o i t i n g and scapegoat i n g thei r s u bord i n ates w h o - by a n y rat i o n a l -tec h n i c a l c r i t e ri a - s h o u l d

19

be cal l i n g t h e s h ots. B u t capital i s m i n t h e real w o r l d s u b o rd i n ates t h e rat i o n al m ax i m izat i o n of p rod u c t i v ity a n d p rofit to t h e ex i g e n c i es of o r g a n i z at i o n a l c o n t ro l . T h e d e g radati o n w h i ch m ost workers experience o n t h e j o b i s t h e s u m of asso rted i n d i g n i t i es w h i c h can be d e n o m i n ated a s " d i sc i p l i n e . " Foucau l t has c o m p lexified t h i s p h e n o m e n o n b u t i t i s s i m p l e e no u g h . D i sci p l i n e c o n s i sts of t h e tota l ity o f total i ta r i a n co n t ro l s at t h e wo r k p l ace - s u rvei l l a n c e , rotewo r k , i m posed work tem pos , p rod u ct i o n q u otas, p u n c h i n g i n- a n d o ut-, e t c . D i s c i p l i n e i s w h at t h e facto ry a n d t h e off i c e a n d t h e sto re s h a re w i t h t h e p r i s o n a n d t h e sc h o o l a n d t h e m e ntal h os p i t a l . I t i s s o m et h i n g h i sto ri ca l l y o ri g i n a l a n d h o rri b l e . I t was beyo n d t h e capacities of such d e m o n i c d i ctato rs of yore as N e ro a n d G e n g h i s K h a n a n d I va n t h e Terri b l e . For a l l t h e i r bad i n te n t i o n s t h ey j u st d i d n 't h ave the m a c h i n e ry to c o ntrol t h e i r s u bjects as t h o r o u g h ly as m o d e rn des pots d o . D i sc i p l i n e i s t h e d i st i n ct i v e l y d i a bo l i c a l m od e r n m o d e of c o n t ro l , i t i s a n i n n ovative i n t r u s i o n w h i c h m u st be i nterd i cted a t t h e e a r l i est o p p o rt u n i ty . S u c h i s " wo r k . " P l ay i s j u st t h e o p p osite. P l ay i s a l ways vo l u ntary . W h at m i g h t ot h e rw i se be p l ay is work if it's fo rced . T h i s i s ax i o m at i c . B e r n i e de Koven h as defi n ed p l ay as t h e " s u s p e n s i o n of c o n seq u e nces . " T h i s i s u n acce pta b l e i f i t i m p l i es t h at p l ay i s i n c o n seq u e n t i a l . T h e p o i n t i s not t h at p l ay i s w i t h o u t c o n seq u e n ces. T h i s i s to d e m e a n p l ay . T h e poi n t i s t h at t h e con seq u e n ces, i f a n y , a r e g rat u i t o u s. P l ayi n g a n d g i v i n g a r e c l ose l y re l ated , t h ey a re t h e b e h av i o ra l a n d transact i o n a l facets of t h e s a m e i m p u l se, t h e p l ay- i n sti nct. T h e y s h a re an a r i stocrat i c d i s d a i n f o r res u l ts. T h e p l aye r g ets someth i n g o u t of p l ay i n g ; t h at's w h y h e p l ays. B u t t h e co re rewa rd i s t h e experience o f t h e act i v i ty itself ( w h atever i t is) . S o m e otherw i se atte n t i ve st u d e nts of p l ay , l i ke J o h an H u iz i n g a ( Homo L udens ) , defin e it as g a me­ p l ayi n g or fo l l owi n g r u les. I res pect H u i zi n g a's e ru d i t i o n b u t e m p h a t i ca l l y rej ect h i s c o n st ra i nts. T h e re a r e m a n y g ood g a m es ( c h ess, baseba l l , M o n op o l y , b ri d g e) w h i ch a re r u l e-governed but t h e re i s m u c h m o re to p l ay than g a m e- p l ay i n g . C o n ve rsat i o n , sex, d a n c i n g , t rave l - t h ese p ract i ces aren't ru l e­ g ove r n e d b u t t h ey a re s u re l y p l ay i f a n yt h i n g i s . A n d ru l es c a n b e played with a t l east as read i l y as a nyth i n g else. Work m a k es a m o c k e ry of freed o m . T h e off i c i a l l i ne i s t h at we a l l h ave r i g h ts and l i ve i n a d e m ocracy. Other u nf o rt u n ates w h o

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aren't f ree l i ke we are h ave to l ive i n p o l i ce states. T h ese v i cti m s o bey o r d e rs o r-else, n o m atte r h ow a r b itrary . T h e a u t h o r i t i es keep t h e m u n d e r reg u l a r s u rve i l l an ce . State b u rea u c rats c o n t r o l eve n t h e s m a l l e r deta i l s of everyday l ife. T h e offi c i a l s w h o p u s h t h e m a ro u n d a re a n swera b l e o n ly to h i g h e r- u ps , p u b l i c o r p ri vate . E i t h e r way, d i sse nt a n d d i sobed i e n ce are p u n i s h e d . I nf o r m e rs rep o rt reg u l a r l y to t h e a u t h o ri t i e s . A l l t h i s i s s u p posed to be a very bad t h i n g . A n d so i t i s , a l t h o u g h i t i s n oth i ng b u t a desc r i pt i o n o f th e m od e r n w o r k p l ace. T h e l i berals a n d c o n s e rvat i ves a n d l i be rta r i a n s w h o l a m e n t tota l itari a n i s m a re p h o n i es a n d hypoc rites. T h e re i s m o re f reed o m in a n y m o d e rately de­ Sta l i n ized d i ctat o rs h i p t h a n t h e re i s i n t h e o rd i na ry A m e ri c a n workp lace. Y o u f i n d t h e same s o rt of h i e rarchy a n d d i sc i pl i n e i n a n off i c e o r facto ry a s y o u d o i n a p r i s o n o r m o n astery. I n fact, as F o u ca u lt and oth e rs h ave s h o w n , p r i s o n s a n d factories came i n at a b o u t t h e sa m e t i m e, a n d t h e i r o p e rators c o n s c i o u s l y b o r rowed f ro m e a c h oth e r's c o n t ro l tec h n i q u es . A w o r k e r i s a p a rt-t i m e s l ave . T h e boss says w h e n to s h ow u p , w h e n to l eave and w h at to do i n the meant i m e . He tel l s you how m u ch w o r k to d o a n d h ow fast. H e i s f ree to carry h i s c o n t ro l to h u m i l i at i n g ext re m es, reg u l ati n g , i f h e feels l i ke i t , t h e c l o t h es you wea r o r h o w often y o u g o t o t h e b at h ro o m . W i t h a few excepti o n s h e can fi re you for a n y reas o n , o r n o reas o n . H e has you s p i ed o n by s n itches a n d s u pervisors, h e a m asses a d o ss i e r o n every empl oyee. Tal k i n g back i s cal l e d " i n s u bo rd i n ati o n , " j u st as if a worker is a n a u g hty c h i l d , a n d i t not o n l y g ets you f i red , i t d i s q u a l i f i es you fo r u n e m pl o y m e n t co mpe nsat i o n . W i t h o ut n ecessa r i l y e n d o rs i n g i t for t h e m e i t h er, i t i s n otewort h y t h at c h i l d re n at h o m e a n d i n s c h o o l receive m u c h t h e s a m e t reat m e n t , j u stified i n t h e i r c a s e by t h e i r s u p posed i m m at u r i ty . W h at does t h i s s a y a b o u t t h e i r parents a n d tea c h e rs w h o w o r k ? T h e d e m ea n i n g system of d o m i n at i o n I 've d escri bed r u l es over h a l f t h e wak i n g h o u rs of a m aj o r i ty of wo m e n a n d t h e vast m aj o rity of men for d ecades, for m ost of t h e i r l i fespa n s . Fo r ce rta i n p u rposes it's n ot too m i s l ead i n g to ca l l o u r syste m d e m oc racy o r cap i ta l i s m o r - bette r sti l l - i n d u stri al i s m , b u t its real n a m es a re fact o ry fas c i s m and off i ce o l i g a rc h y . A n y b o d y w h o says t h ese peo p l e a re "free" i s l y i n g o r stu p i d . Y o u a re w h a t you d o . I f yo u d o b o r i n g , stu p i d m o noto n o u s work, c h a n ces a r e

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you ' l l e n d u p bori n g , stu p i d a n d m o n ot o n o u s . W o r k i s a m u c h b ette r exp l a n at i o n fo r t h e c ree p i n g c ret i n izat i o n a l l a ro u n d u s t h a n eve n s u c h s i g n i f i c a n t m o ro n iz i n g m ec h a n i s m s a s t e l ev i s i o n a n d ed u cat i o n . P e o p l e w h o a re reg i m e n ted a l l t h e i r l ives, h a n d e d off to w o r k f ro m s c h o o l a n d b racketed by t h e f a m i l y i n t h e b eg i n n i ng a n d t h e n u rs i n g h o m e at t h e e n d , are h a b i t u ated to h ie rarchy a n d psyc h o l o g i c a l l y e n s l aved . T h e i r apti t u d e fo r a u to n o my i s so atro p h i e d t h at t h e i r fea r of free d o m i s a m o n g t h e i r few rati o n a l l y g ro u n ded p h o b i a s . T h e i r o be d i e n ce trai n i n g at work carries ove r i n to t h e fam i l i es they start, t h u s rep rod u c i n g t h e syste m i n m o re ways t h a n o n e , a n d i nto p o l i t i c s , c u ltu re and everyt h i n g else. O n ce you d ra i n the vital ity from peo p l e at wor k , t h ey ' l l l i ke l y s u b m i t to h i e ra r c h y a n d expe rt i s e i n everyt h i n g . T h ey ' re u sed to i t . We are so c l ose to t h e wo r l d of work t h at we can't see w h at it d oes to u s . We h ave to re l y o n o u ts i d e o bservers from ot h e r ti mes o r ot h e r c u lt ures to a p p re c i ate t h e extre m ity a n d t h e pat h o l og y of o u r p rese n t pos i t i o n . T h e re w a s a t i m e i n our own past when t h e " w o r k eth i c " wo u l d h ave been i n co m p re h e n s i b l e , a n d perhaps W e b e r w a s o n to s o m et h i n g w h e n h e t i e d its a ppearan ce to a rel i g i o n , C a l v i n i s m , w h i c h i f it e m erged today i n stead of fo u r c e n t u ries a g o wo u l d i m med i ately a n d a pp rop r i ately be l a b e l ed a c u lt. B e t h at a s it may, we h ave o n l y to d raw upon t h e w i s d o m o f a n t i q u ity t o p u t w o r k i n pe rspect ive. The a n c i e nts saw work for w h at it i s , and t h e i r view p reva i l e d , t h e C a l v i n i st cran ks n otw i t h sta n d i n g , u nt i l overt h rown b y i n d ustri a l i s m - b u t n ot before rece i v i n g t h e e n d o rs e m e n t of its p rop h ets. Let's p rete n d for a m o m e n t t h at work d oesn't t u rn peop l e i nto stu l t i f i ed sub m i ss i ves. Let's p rete n d , in d ef i a n ce of a n y p l a u s i b l e psyc h o l og y a n d t h e i d e o l o g y o f i t s boosters, t h at it h as n o effect on the form at i o n of c h a racter. A n d l et's preten d t h at work i s n't as b o r i n g a n d t i r i n g a n d h u m i l i ati n g as we a l l k n ow it real l y i s . Even t h e n , w o r k wo u l d s till m a ke a m o c kery of a l l h u m a n i s t i c a n d d e m ocrat i c asp i rat i o n s , j u st b e c a u s e it u s urps so m u c h of o ur t i m e . Soc rates sa i d t h at m a n u a l l ab o re rs make bad f r i e n d s a n d bad c i t iz e n s because t h ey h ave n o t i m e to fu l f i l l t h e res pon s i b i l i t i es of fri e n d s h ip a n d c i t i z e n s h ip. H e w a s r i g h t . Because of w o r k , n o matt e r w h at we d o we k e e p l oo k i n g a t o u r

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watc h e s . T h e o n l y t h i n g " f ree" a b o ut s o-ca l l ed free t i m e i s t h at i t d oesn't c o s t t h e b o s s anyth i n g . F ree t i m e i s m o s t l y d evoted to g etti n g ready for w o r k , g o i n g to work, ret urn i n g from w o r k , a n d recove r i n g from work. F ree t i m e i s a e up h e m i s m f o r t h e p ec u l i a r way l a b o r as a factor o f p ro d u ct i o n n ot o n l y t r a n s p o rts itse l f at its own ex pense to a n d f ro m t h e work p l ace b ut ass umes p ri m a ry res po n s i b i l ity for its own m a i n te n a n c e a n d repai r. C o a l a n d steel d o n 't d o t h at. Lathes and typewriters d o n 't d o t h at . B ut wo rke rs d o. N o w o n d e r Edward G . R o b i n s o n i n o n e of h i s g a n gster m ov i es exc l a i m ed , "Work i s for saps ! " B o t h P l ato a n d X e n o p h o n att r i b ute to Socrates a n d o b v i o u s l y s h a re w i t h h i m a n awa re n ess o f t h e destruct i ve effects o f w o r k o n t h e w o r k e r as a c i t i z e n a n d as a h u m a n b e i n g . H e rod otus i d e n t i f i ed contem pt for work as a n att r i b ute of t h e c l as s i c a l G reeks a t t h e zen i t h of t h e i r c u l t u re . T o take o n l y o n e R o m a n exam p l e, C i c e ro s a i d t h at " w h oever g i ves h i s l a b o r f o r m o n ey se l l s h i mself a n d p u ts h i m s e l f i n t h e ra n k of s l aves . " H i s ca n d o r i s n ow rare, b u t c o n te m p o rary p r i m i t i ve soc i et i es w h i c h w e are wont to l oo k down upon h ave p ro v i d e d s p o kes m e n who h ave e n l i g h ten ed Weste rn a n t h ro p o l o g i sts. The K a p a u k u of West I r i a n , accord i n g to Pospos i l , h ave a c o n cept i o n of b a l a n ce in l i fe and acco rd i n g l y work o n l y eve ry oth e r day, the d ay of rest d es i g n ed "to reg a i n the l ost power and h e a l t h . " O u r ancesto rs , even a s l ate a s t h e e i g htee n t h c e n t u ry w h e n t h ey were f a r a l o n g t h e path t o o u r p resent p red ica m e n t , a t l east were aware o f w h at we h ave forg otte n , t h e u n d e rs i d e of i n d us t r i a l izati o n . T h e i r re l i g i o us devot i o n to "St. M o n d ay" - th us esta b l i s h i n g a de facto f i ve-day week 1 50-200 years before its l e g a l c o n secrati o n - was t h e d es pa i r of t h e earl i est facto ry o w n e rs . T h ey took a l o n g t i m e i n s u b m itti n g to t h e ty ra n n y of t h e bel l , p red ecesso r of the t i m e c l o c k. I n fact it was n ecessary for a g e n erat i o n o r two to re p l ace a d u l t m a l es w i t h w o m e n acc usto m e d to o bed i e n ce a n d c h i l d re n w h o c o u l d be m o l ded t o f i t i n d u st r i a l needs. Even t h e explo ited peasants of t h e ancien regime wrested s u bsta n t i a l t i m e b a c k f r o m t h e i r l a n d l ords' w o r k . Accord i n g t o Lafa rg ue, a fo u rt h of t h e F re n c h peasants' c a l e n d a r was d evoted to S u n d ays and h o l i d ays, a n d C h ayanov's f i g u res fro m vi l l ag es in Czarist R ussia - h a rd ly a p rog ress ive society - l i kewise s h ow a fo u rt h o r f i fth o f peasants' d ays d evoted t o re pose. C o n t ro l l i n g for p rod u ct i vity, we a re obviously fa r beh i n d t h ese backward

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soc i et i es . T h e ex p l o ited m uzh iks wo u l d w o n d e r w h y a n y of u s a r e w o rk i n g a t a l l . S o s h o u l d we. To g rasp the f u l l e n o rm ity of o u r dete r i o rat i o n, h owever, c o n s i d e r t h e earl i est c o n d i t i o n of h u ma n i ty, w i t h o u t g ove r n m e n t o r property, w h e n w e w a n d e red as h u nte r-g at h e rers. H o b bes s u rm ised t h at l i fe was t h e n nasty, b r u t i s h and s h o rt. O t h e rs ass u m e t h at l i fe was a d espe rate u n re m i tt i n g stru g g l e fo r s u bs i sten ce, a war waged ag a i n st a h a rs h N atu re w i t h d eath a n d d i saste r awa i t i n g t h e u n l u c k y o r a n yo n e w h o was u n e q u a l to t h e c h a l l e n g e of t h e st r u g g l e for existe n ce . Act u a l l y, t h at w a s a l l a p roject i o n of fea rs for t h e c o l l apse of gove r n m e n t a u t h o rity over c o m m u n i t i es u n accusto m ed to d o i n g w i t h o u t i t, l i ke t h e E n g l a n d of H o b bes d u ri n g t h e C i v i l W a r . H o b bes' c o m patri ots h ad a l ready e n c o u ntered a l t e r n at i ve f o r m s of s o c i ety w h i c h i l l u st rated ot h e r ways o f l ife - i n N o rt h A m e r i ca, p a rt i c u l a rly ­ b u t a l read y th ese we re too rem ote fro m t h e i r expe r i e n ce to be u n d e rstan d a b l e . (The l ower o rd e rs, c l os e r to t h e c o n d i t i o n of the I n d i a n s, u n d e rstood it b ette r and often fo u n d i t attract ive. T h ro u g h o u t t h e seve ntee n t h c e n t u ry, E n g l i s h sett l e rs d efected to I n d i a n tri bes o r, captu red in war, refused to ret u r n . B u t t h e I n d i a n s n o m o re d efected to wh ite sett l e m e n ts t h a n G e r m a n s c l i m b t h e B e rl i n Wa l l f ro m t h e west . ) T h e " s u rv i va l o f t h e f i ttest" ve rs i o n - the T h o mas H ux l e y ve rs i o n - of D a rw i n i s m was a b etter acco u n t of eco n o m i c c o n d i t i o n s i n V i ct o r i a n E n g l a n d t h a n i t was o f n at u ra l select i o n, a s t h e a n a rc h i st K ropotk i n sh owed i n h i s b o o k Mutual A id, A Fac tor o f Evolutio n . ( K ro p otk i n was a sc i e n t i st - a geog ra p h e r - w h o 'd had a m p l e i n vol u ntary o p p o rt u n ity f o r f i e l d wo rk wh i lst ex i l ed i n S i b e r i a : h e k new w h at h e was tal k i n g a b o ut . ) L i ke m ost soc i a l a n d pol i t i c a l theo ry, t h e sto ry H o b bes a n d h i s s uccesso rs to l d w a s rea l l y u na c k n ow l e d g ed a u to b i og ra p h y . T h e a n t h ropo l o g ist M a rs h a l l S a h l i n s, s u rveyi n g t h e d ata o n c o n te m po ra ry h u n te r-g athere rs, ex p l oded t h e H o b bes i a n myth in a n a rt i c l e e n t i t l ed "The O ri g i n a l Aff l u e n t S o c i ety. " T h ey wo r k a lot l ess t h a n w e d o, a n d t h e i r w o r k i s h a rd t o d i sti n g u i s h f ro m w h at w e reg a rd a s p l ay. S a h l i n s c o n c l u d e d t h at " h u nte rs a n d gath ere rs wo rk l ess t h a n w e d o ; a n d, rat h e r t h a n a c o n t i n u o us trava i l, t h e food q u est i s i nterm i tte n t, l e i s u re a b u n d a n t, a n d t h e re i s a g reate r a m o u n t of s l ee p i n t h e dayt i m e pe r capita per year t h a n in a n y oth e r co n d i t i o n of soc i ety. " T h ey wo rked a n

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ave rage o f four h ou rs a d ay , assum i n g t h ey we re " w o r ki n g" at a l l . T h ei r " la b o r," as it a p pe a rs t o us, w as s ki l l ed l a b o r w hic h exercised t h ei r p h ysic a l a n d i nte l l ectua l c a p a cities; u n s ki l le d l a b o r o n a n y l a rg e sca l e , a s Sa h lins says , i s i m p ossi b l e exce pt u n d e r i n dust rialis m . T hus it satisfie d F ried ric h S c hi l l e r's d efiniti o n of p l ay , t h e o n l y o cc asio n on w hi c h m a n realizes his c o m p l ete hu m a nity b y givi n g ful l " p la y" to b ot h sides of his twofol d n ature, t hi n kin g a n d fee li n g . As he put it: " T h e a ni m a l works w h e n d e p rivatio n is t h e m ai ns p ri n g o f its a ctivity , a n d it plays w h e n t h e ful l n ess of its st re n g t h is t his m ai ns p ri n g , w h e n su pe ra bu n d a nt life is its o w n stimulus to a ctivity." ( A m od e r n versi o n - dubious l y d e ve l o p m e nt a l - is A b ra h a m M as l ow's counte r p ositi o n o f "deficie n c y" a n d " g rowt h" m otivatio n . ) P l a y a n d freed o m a r e , a s rega rds p ro ductio n , coexte nsive . Eve n M a rx , w h o b el o n gs (fo r a l l his g oo d i ntentions) i n t h e p roductivist p a n t h e o n , o bs e rved t h at "th e real m of f reed o m d oes n ot c o m m e n ce u nti l t h e point is p asse d w h e re l a b o r und e r t h e co m pulsi o n o f n ecessity a n d exte r n a l uti lity is requi red ." H e n ever c ou l d quite b ri n g himse l f t o ide ntify t his h a p py circum st a n c e as w h at it is , t h e a b o liti o n of w o r k - it's rat h e r a n o m a l ous , a ft e r a l l , to b e p ro-wo r k e r a n d a nti- w o rk - b ut w e can . T h e as pirati o n t o g o b a c k w a rds o r fo rwa rd s t o a life with out w o r k is evid ent in eve ry se rious socia l o r cultura l hist o ry of p re­ i n dust ria l Euro p e , a m o n g t h e m M . D o r ot h y G eo rg e's Engla n d in Transition a n d Pet e r Bu rke's Popular C ulture in Early Modern Europe. A ls o p e rti n e nt is D a niel B e l l 's essay, " W o r k a n d I ts Disco nte nts," t h e fi rst text, I b e lieve, t o refe r to t h e " revolt a g ainst w o r k" i n s o m a n y w o rds a n d , h ad it b e e n u n d e rstoo d , a n i m p o rtant c o rrectio n t o t h e c o m p l ac e n cy o r di n a ri l y associated wit h t h e vo l u m e i n whic h it w as c o l l ected , The End of Ideology. N eit h e r c ritics n o r c e l e b r ants h ave n oticed t h at B e l l 's e n d-of­ id e o l o g y t h esis sig n a l l e d n ot t h e e n d o f soci a l u n rest but t h e b e gi n ni n g o f a n e w , u n c h a rted p h ase u n c o nst rai n e d a n d u ninfo r m e d b y i de o l o g y . I t was Sey m ou r Lipset (in Political Man), n ot B e l l , w h o a n n ou n ce d at the sa m e tim e t h at "th e fu n d a m ental p ro b l e ms o f t h e I n dust ri a l R ev o l utio n h ave b e e n s o l ved ," o n l y a few years befo re t h e p ost- o r m eta-i n dustria l disco nte nts o f c o l leg e stud e nts d rove U pset f r o m UC B e rkel e y to t h e re l ative ( a n d tem po ra ry ) t ra n qui l lity of H a rva rd .

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As Bell notes, Adam Smith in T h e Wealth of Nations, for all his enthusiasm for the market and the division of labor, was more alert to (and more honest about) the seamy side of work than Ayn Rand or the Chicago economists or any of Smith's modern epigones. As Smith observed: "The understandings of the greater part of men are necessarily formed by their ordinary employments. The man whose life is spent in performing a few simple operations... has no occasion to exert his understanding... He generally becomes as stupid and ignorant as it is possible for a human creature to become." Here, in a few blunt words, is my critique of work. Bell, writing in 1956, the Golden Age of Eisenhower imbecility and American self­ satisfaction, identified the unorganized, unorganizable malaise of the 1970's and since, the one no political tendency is able to harness, the one identified in HEW's report Work in America, the one which cannot be exploited and so is ignored. That problem is the revolt against work. It does not figure in any text by any laissez-faire economist - Milton Friedman, Murray Rothbard, Richard Posner - because, in their terms, as they used to say on Sta r Trek, "it does not compute." If these objections, informed by the love of liberty, fail to persuade humanists of a utilitarian or even paternalist turn, there are others which they cannot disregard. Work is hazardous to your health, to borrow a book title. In fact, work is mass murder or genocide. Directly or indirectly, work will kill most of the people who read these words. Between 14,000 and 25,000 workers are killed annually in this country on the job. Over two million are disabled. Twenty to twenty-five million are injured every year. And these figures are based on a very conservative estimation of what constitutes a work-related injury. Thus they don't count the half million cases of occupational disease every year. I looked at one medical textbook on occupational diseases which was 1,200 pages long. Even this barely scratches the surface. The available statistics count the obvious cases like the 100,000 miners who have black lung disease, of whom 4,000 die every year, a much higher fatality rate than for AIDS, for instance, which gets so much media attention. This reflects the unvoiced assumption that AIDS afflicts perverts who could control their depravity whereas coal-mining is a sacrosanct activity beyond question. What the

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statistics don't show is that tens of millions of people have their lifespans shortened by work - which is all that homicide means, after all. Consider the doctors who work themselves to death in their SO's. Consider all the other workaholics. Even if you aren't killed or crippled while actually working, you very well might be while going to work, coming from work, looking for work, or trying to forget about work. The vast majority of victims of the automobile are either doing one of these work-obligatory activities or else fall afoul of those who do them. To this augmented body-count must be added the victims of auto-industrial pollution and work-induced alcoholism and drug addiction. Both cancer and heart disease are modern aff l i ct i o n s n or m a l l y t raceab l e, d i r ectl y o r i n d i rect l y , to wor k . Work, then, institutionalizes homicide as a way o f life. People think the Cambodians were crazy for exterminating themselves, but are we any different? The Pol Pot regime at least had a vision, however blurred, of an egalitarian society. We kill people in the six-figure range'(at least) in order to sell Big Macs and Cadillacs to the survivors. Our forty or fifty thousand annual highway fatalities are victims, not martyrs. They died for nothing - or rather, they died for work. But work is nothing to die for. Bad news for liberals: regulatory tinkering is useless in this life-and-death context. The federal Occupational Safety and Health Administration was designed to police the core part of the problem, workplace safety. Even before Reagan and the Supreme Court stifled it, OSHA was a farce. At previous and (by current standards) generous Carter-era funding levels, a workplace could expect a random visit from an OSHA inspector once every 46 years. State control of the economy is no solution. Work is, if anything, more dangerous in the state-socialist countries than it is here. Thousands of Russian workers were killed or injured building the Moscow subway. Stories reverberate about covered-up Soviet nuclear disasters which make Times Beach and Three-Mile Island look like elementary-school air-raid drills. On the other hand, deregulation, currently fashionable, won't help and will probably hurt. From a health and safety standpoint, among others, work was at its worst in the days when the economy most closely approximated laissez-faire.

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Historians like Eugene Genovese have argued persuasively that - as antebellum slavery apologists insisted - factory wage­ workers in the N orthern American states and in Europe were worse off than Southern plantation slaves. No rearrangement of relations among bureaucrats and businessmen seems to make much difference at the point of production. Serious enforcement of even the rather vague standards enforceable in theory by OSHA would probably bring the economy to a standstill. The enforcers apparently appreciate this, since they don't even try to crack down on most malefactors. What I've said so far ought not to be controversial. Many workers are fed up with work. There are high and rising rates of absenteeism, turnover, employee theft and sabotage, wildcat strikes, a l") d overall goldbricking on the job. There may be some movement toward a conscious and not just visceral rej ection of work. And yet the prevalent feeling, universal among bosses and their agents and also widespread among workers themselves is that work itself is inevitable and necessary. I disagree. It is now possible to abolish work and replace it, insofar as it serves useful purposes, with a multitude of new kinds of free activities. To abolish work requires going at it from two directions, quantitative and qualitative. O n the one hand, on the quantitative side, we have to cut down massively on the amount of work being done. At present most work is useless or worse and we should simply get rid of it. On the other hand and I think this the crux of the matter and the revolutionary new departure - we have to take what useful work remains and transform it into a pleasing variety of game-like and craft-like pastimes, indistinguishable from other pleasurable pastimes, except that they happen to yield useful end-products. Surely that shouldn't make them less enticing to do. Then all the artificial barriers of power and property could come down. C reation cou l d become recreation. And we could all stop being afraid of each other. I don't suggest that most work is salvageable in this way. But then most work isn't worth trying to save. Only a small and diminishing fraction of work serves any useful purpose independent of the defense and reproduction of the work­ system and its political and legal appendages. Twenty years ago, Paul and Percival Goodman estimated that just five percent

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of the work then being done - presumably the figure, if accurate, is lower now - would satisfy our minimal needs for food, clothing, and shelter. Theirs was only an educated guess but the main point is quite clear: directly or indirectly, most work serves the unproductive purposes of commerce or social control. Right off the bat we can liberate tens of millions of salesmen, soldiers, managers, cops, stockbrokers, clergymen, bankers, lawyers, teachers, landlords, security guards, ad-men and everyone who works for them. There is a snowball effect since every time you idle some bigshot you liberate his flunkeys and underlings also. Thus the economy implodes. Forty percent of the workforce are white-collar workers, most of whom have some of the most tedious and idiotic jobs ever concocted . Entire industries, insurance and banking and real estate for instance, consist of nothing but useless paper­ shuffling. It is no accident that the "tertiary sector," the service sector, is growing while the "secondary sector" (industry) . stagnates and the "primary sector" (agriculture) nearly disap pears. Because work is unnecessary except to those whose power it secures, workers are shifted from relatively useful to relatively useless occupations as a measure to assure public order. Anything is better than nothing. That's why you can't go home just because you finish early. They want your time, enough of it to make you theirs, even if th�y have no use for most of it. Otherwise why hasn't the average work week gone down by more than a few minutes in the last fifty years? N ext we can take a meat-cleaver to production work itself. N o more war production, nuclear power, junk food, feminine hygiene deodorant - and above all, no more auto industry to speak of. An occasional Stanley Steamer or Mode i-T might be all right, but the auto-eroticism on which such pestholes as Detroit and Los Angeles de pend is out of the question. Already, without even trying, we've virtually solved the energy crisis, the environmental crisis and assorted other insoluble social problems. Finally, we must do away with far and away the largest occupation, the one with the longest hours, the lowest pay and some of the most tedious tasks around. I refer to h o use wives doing housework and child-rearing. By abolishing wage-labor and achieving full unemployment we undermine the sexual

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division of labor. The nuclear family as we know it is an inevitable adaptation to the division of labor imposed by modern wage-work. Like it or not, as things have been for the last century or two it is economically rational for the man to bring home the bacon, for the woman to do the shitwork to provide him with a haven in a heartless world, and for the children to be marched off to youth concentration camps called "schools," primarily to keep them out of Mom's hair but still under control, but incidentally to acquire the habits of obedience and punctuality so necessary for workers. If you would be rid of patriarchy, get rid of the nuclear family whose unpaid "shadow work," as Ivan lllich says, makes possible the work-system that makes it necessary. Bound up with this no-nukes strategy is the abolition of childhood and the closing of the schools. There are more full-time students than full-time workers in this country. We need children as teachers, not students. They have a lot to contribute to the ludic revolution because they're better at playing than grown-ups are. Adults and children are not identical but they will become equal through interdependence. Only play can bridge the generation gap. I haven't as yet even mentioned the possibility of cutting way down on the little work that remains by automating and cybernizing it. All the scientists and engineers and technicians freed from bothering with war research and planned obsolescence should have a good time devising means to eliminate fatigue and tedium and danger from activities like mining. U ndoubtedly they'll find other projects to amuse themselves with. Perhaps they'll set up world-wide all-inclusive multi-media communications systems or found space colonies. Perhaps. I myself am no gadget freak. I wouldn't care to live in a pushbutton paradise. I don't want robot slaves to do everything; I want to do things myself. There is, I think, a place for labor­ sav ing technology, but a modest place. The historical and pre­ historical record is not encouraging. When productive technology went from hunting-gathering to agriculture and on to industry, work increased while skills and self-determination diminished. The further evolution of industrialism has accentuated what Harry Braverman called the degradation of work. Intelligent observers have always been aware of this. John Stuart Mill wrote that all the labor-saving inventions ever

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devised haven't saved a moment's l abor. Karl Marx wrote that "it would be possibl e to write a history of the inventions, made since 1830, for the sole purpose of supplying capital with weapons against the revolts of the working class." The enthusiastic technophil es - Saint-Simon, Comte, Lenin, B. F. Skinner - have a lways been unabashed authoritarians also; which is to say, technocrats. We should be more than sceptical about the promises of the computer mystics. They work l ike d ogs; chances are, if they have their way, so wil l the rest of us. But if they have any particularized contributions more readil y subordinated to human purposes than the run of high tech, l et's give them a hearing. What I rea l l y want to see is work turned into play. A first step is to discard the notions of a "job" and an "occupation." Even activities that already have some ludic content lose most of it by being reduced to jobs which certain peop l e, and only those peopl e are forced to do to the exclusion of al l e l se. Is it not odd that farm workers toil painful ly in the fields whil e their air­ conditioned masters go home every weekend and putter about in their gardens? Under a system of permanent revelry, we wil l witness the Golden Age of the dil ettante which wil l put the R enaissance to shame. There won't be any more jobs, just things to do and peop l e to do them. The secret of turning work into play, as Charl es Fourier demonstrated, is to arrange useful activities to take advantag e of whatever it is that various people at various times in fact enjoy doing. To make it possibl e for some peop l e to do the things they could enjoy it wil l be enough just to eradicate the irrationalities and distortions which afflict these activities when they are reduced to work. I, for instance, would enjoy doing some (not too much) teaching, but I don't want coerced students and I don't care to suck up to pathetic pedants for tenure. Second, there are some things that peop l e like to do from time to time, but not for too long, and certainly not al l the time. You might enjoy baby-sitting for a few hours in order to share the company of kids, but not as much as their parents do. The parents meanwhile, profoundly appreciate the time to themse l ves that you free up for them, a lthough they'd g et fretful if parted from their progeny for too l ong. These differences among individual s are what make a l ife of free play possibl e. The

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same princip i a applies to many other areas of activity, especially the primal ones. Thu s many people enjoy cooking when they can practice it seriou sly at their leisure, but not when they're j ust fuelling up human bodies for work. Third - other things being equal - some things that are u nsatisfying if done by yourself or in u npleasant surroundings or at the orders of an overlord are enjoyable, at least for awhile, if these circu mstances are changed. This is probably true, to some extent, of all work. People deploy their otherwise wasted ingenuity to make a game of the least inviting drudge-jobs as best they can. Activities t!lat appeal to some people don't always appeal to all others, but everyone at least potentially has a variety of interests and an interest in variety. As the saying goes, "anything once. " Fourier was the master at speculating how aberrant and perverse penchants could be put to use in post­ civilized society, what he called Harmony. He thought the Emperor N ero wou ld have turned out all right if as a child he could have indulged his taste for bloodshed by working in a slaughterhouse. Small children who notoriou sly relish wallowing in filth could be organized in " Little Hordes" to clean toilets and empty the garbage, with medals awarded to the outstanding. I am not arguing for these precise examples but for the underlying principle, which I think makes perfect sense as one dimension of an overall revolutionary transformation. Bear in mind that we don't have to take today's work j ust as we find it and match it up with the proper people, some of whom would have to be perverse indeed. If technology has a role in all this it is less to automate work out of existence than to open up new realms for refcreation. To some extent we may want to return to handicrafts, which William Morris considered a probable and desirable upshot of communist revolution. Art would be taken back from the snobs and collectors, abolished as a specialized department catering to an elite audience, and its q ualities of beauty and creation restored to integral life from which they were stolen by work. It's a sobering thought that the Grecian u rns we write odes about and showcase in mu seums were u sed in their own time to store olive oil. I doubt our everyday artifacts will fare as well in the future, if there is one. The point is that there's no such thing as progress in the world of work; if anything it's j ust the opposite. We shouldn't hesitate to pilfer the

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past for what it has to offer, the ancients l ose nothing yet we are enriched . The reinvention o f d aily life means marching off the edge of our maps. The re is, it is t rue, more sugg estive s peculation than most peo p l e suspect. Besides Fourier and M o rris - and even a hint, he re and the re, in M a rx - there a re the w ritings of K ropotkin, the syndicalists Pataud and Poug et, ana rcho­ communists o l d ( B e rkman) and new ( Bookchin) . The Goodman brothe rs' Comm unitas is exem p l a ry for i l lustrating what fo rms fo l low from given functions ( purposes) , and there is somethi n g to be g leaned from the often hazy hera l d s of a l ternative/appropriate/inter mediate/convivial technol ogy, l ike Schumacher and especia l l y l l l ich, once you d isconnect their fog machines . The situationists - as re p resented by Vaneigem's Re volution of Everyday Life and in the Situa tionist In terna tional A n thology - are so ruth l essly l ucid as to be exhi l arating, even if they never did quite squa re the endo rsement of the rul e of the wo rkers' council s with the abol ition of work. Bette r their incong ruity, though, than any extant version of l eftism, whose devotees l o ok to be the l ast champions of wo rk, fo r if there were no wo rk there would be no wo rkers, and without wo rkers, who woul d the l eft have to o rganize? So the abo litio nists would be large l y on their own. N o one can say what would resul t f rom unl eashing the c reative powe r stul tified by work. Anything can hap pen. The tiresome debate r's p roblem of freedom vs. necessity, with its theol ogical overtones, reso lves itself practical ly once the p roduction of use-va lues is coextensive with the consumption of delightful p l ay-activity. Life wil l become a game, or rathe r many g ames, but not - as it is now - a ze ro/sum g ame. An o ptimal sexua l encounter is the paradigm of p roductive p l ay. The participants potentiate each othe r's p l easures, nobody keeps sco re, and everybody wins . The mo re you give, the more you get. I n the l udic l ife, the best of sex wil l d iffuse into the better part of daily l ife . Gene ra lized p lay l eads to the libidinization of life. Sex, in turn, can become l ess u rgent and d esperate, more p l ayfu l . I f we p l ay our cards right, we can a l l get more out of l ife than we put into it; but only if we p lay for kee ps. No one shoul d eve r work. Wo rke rs of the wor l d . . . relax!

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II. THE LAST INTERNATIONAL

(1977 .. 1983)

My p o l i t i c a l d e b u t on the l u n a t i c fri n g e took the form of a poste r p roj ect c a l led " T h e Last I nternat i o na l . " I neve r l i ked t h e n a m e a n d i nadverte n t l y a p p ro p r i ated i t from a f o r m e r m e m b e r of For O u rse l ves (see " P reface to The Right to B e Greedy" u n d e r I V bel ow) - I met h i m at my G o r i l l a G rotto eve n t , act u a l l y - w h o , h oweve r, n eve r a d o pted i t fo r h i m s e l f . I s o m et i m e s u se d ot h e r ru b rics, such as t h ose d e p l oyed below in ' " De c l ass e( f i eds) . " M y m o d e l s we re o n e- o r two-p e rs o n poster p roj ects u s i n g o rg a n izat i o n a l pse u d o n y m s l i ke U ps h ot in San F ra n c isco ( J o h n and P a u l a Z e rza n ) and A u r o ra in M a d i s o n ( Scott P o l a r B e a r a n d B o b B r u baker) . M y o p i n i o n s refl e cted s i t u at i o n i st a n d , to a l esser exte n t , a n a rc h i st i nf l u e n ce as ref racted by th ese g ro u p l ets and by Detro i t 's Fifth Esta te . M y p u rpose was t o bypass t h e med i a , even t h e " a l te r n ative" o n e s , w i t h exp ress i o n un m ed i ated by ed i tors, by b e i n g fo r sa l e , o r i n a n y o t h e r way, to vent m y v i ews i n j u st t h e way I wa n te d t o , po l i te n ess a n d p o p u l a rity be d a m n e d . I 'd bee n a N e w Left i st , i n c rec s i n g l y restive u nd e r t h e ro u t i n i s m a n d r i g h te o u s n ess o f t h e N e·w Left as i t oss i f i ed i n t h e 7 0 ' s , a n d i t w a s exh i l a rat i ng to b reak free. I n t h e beg i n n i n g m y own sta n d p o i n t was sti l l u lt ra­ l efti st - I was i n terested in co u nc i l co m m u n i s m , Processed World's d o g m a (see " C i rc l e-A Deceit" u n d e r i l l b e l ow) - b u t t h e posters were d es i g n ed l y destructive, n ot c o n st r u ctive. " R e l i g i o n as Ba n a l ity," the o n l y re p resentat i ve of t h e U 's o ri g i n s i n A n n Arbor, i s i n pa rt d e r i ve d f r o m a n a n o n y m o u s poster I c i rc u l ated i n 1 976 a t G e o rgetown law sc h o o l , a J es u it i n stitut i o n , w h e n I was a d i s g r u n t l e d stu d e n t t h e re . L l poste rs are u n d e rrepresented i n t h i s co l l ect i o n because m uc h of t h e i r i n terest i s as v i s u a l as i t i s verba l , a n d i n t h i s f o r m at t h e b u i lt- i n b i as i s toward text . ( N ot t h at I ' m a ta l e n ted g ra p h i c a rt i st - n o way! - b u t I d i d i n de p e n d e n t l y d i scover a n d c l u m s i l y e m p l o y s o m e of t h e c o l l ag e tec h n i q u es w h i c h t h e p u n ks h ave s i n c e m a d e co m m o n p l ace. ) B ut t h ey've been p i l fered fo r s o m e of t h e o t h e r texts i n c l u d ed here.

35

L l posters h ave been prod u ced over t h e years i n , I 'd g u ess, t h e l o w e n d of f i ve f i g ures ( m ore t h a n 1 0, 000, b u t c l oser to t h at t h a n to 1 00 , 000) , i n c l u d i n g repr i nts by G erry R e i t h i n Wyo m i n g a n d a few h u n dred S p a n i s h - l a n g u a g e vers i o n s of " R e l i g i o n as B a n a l i ty" w h i c h were posted i n San Fra n c i sco's H i s pa n i c s l u m s , w h ere I l i ved , very caut i o u s l y . T h ey've b e e n p u b l i s h ed i n four c o u ntries, and w i l l s h ort l y a p p ear in a f i fth ( Y u goslavia) . T h e iro n y i s t h at a proj ect w h i c h i nte n ded t o avo i d t h e m ed i a h as e n d ed u p f u e l l i n g s o m e of t h e m . A l l t h ese texts org i n ated as o n e-page posters except t h e l ast o n e , " F i g h t i n g Word s , " w h i c h a p peared as a f o l d er ( c l a n desti n e l y typeset o n Processed World's eq u i p me n t ) . W h e n I m oved to Berkeley fro m Sa n Fra n c i sc o i n fa l l 1 982 1 e n c o u n tered mass i ve j ad ed i n d iffere n ce i n a town th at pri d e s itself o n its p o l i t i c izat i o n b u t i s , i n f a c t , paroc h i al a n d pass ive. A n d so t h e poster project faded o u t . W h i c h i s all r i g ht . The tr i c k i s , w i t h o u t bei n g a q u itter , t o k n o w w h e n to q u i t .

36

RELIGION AS BANALITY...

"Every thing that is doddering, squin t-eyed, infamous, sullying and grotesq ue is contained for me in this single word: G OD " -A ndre Breton

. . . DIVINITY AS TYRANNY "If god really existed, i t would b e necessary to abolish Him" -Michael Bakunin

R E L I G I O N I S D E C E I T F U L , D E PR AV E D A N D A BS U R D - b u t d o n 't u n d e rest i m ate i t . T h e re's a reaso n t h i s decrepit rel i c of h u m a n ity's i nfancy sti l l ad o r n s c l ass soc i ety. " T h e powe rs t h at be a re orda i n ed of G o d , " says St. Pa u l . N ot q u ite. G od is ordained by the po wers that be. H is o m n i poten c e exp resses o u r i m pote n ce. BA B B L E A B O U T "T H E WAG ES OF S I N " s e rves t o cover up the sin of wages. We want r i g hts, not r ites - sex, n ot sects . O n l y E ros a n d E r i s be l o n g i n o u r p a nt h e o n . S u re l y t h e N azare n e n e c ro p h i le h a s h a d h is reve n g e by n ow . R e m e m ber, pai n i s j ust G o d ' s way of h u rt i n g you . THE CHURCH (A N Y CHURCH) IS CA P I TA L ' S C O N S E C R AT E D C O P . Exa m p l es : Christianity ( w h i c h i s n e i t h e r cat h o l i c n o r p rotestan t ) ; Judaism ( read i n g t h e P ro p h ets a n d ra k i n g i n t h e p rofits) ; Islam ( w h i c h m e a n s "s u b m i s s i o n " ) - p l u s a l l farc i ca l l y fas h i o n a b l e O r i ental myst i c i s m s p u s h e d b y g reedy g u ru s with l i ce in t h e i r beard s .

37

F R O M I RA N TO I R E LA N D , f ro m M a d r i d to M i a m i , from t h e West B a n k to W est V i rg i n i a the fa i t hf u l f u l f i l l t h e i r f u n ct i o n , s u p p ress i n g s u bj ectivity a n d sex u a l ity i n co n n i va n c e w i t h t h e i r ete r n a l a l l y , t h e State. " P r i s o n s a re b u i l t w i t h sto nes of Law, b rot h e l s with b r i c k s of R e l i g i o n " ( B l a ke) . AS F O R " G O D , " s u ff i c e to say t h at abso l ute power corru pts abso l utely. " G o d h as s u ff i c i e n t l y reve a l ed H i s t r u e c h a racter by c o m b i n i n g the g e n ital o r g a n with the u r i n a ry t ract" ( B recht) . A p e rs o n w i t h o u t G od i s l i k e a f i s h w i t h o u t a b i cy c l e . B e ( d i abo) l o g i c a l . . . c u rb yo u r d o g m a. Revo l u t i o n , not reve l at i o n ! Be l i ef i n G od i s self- m a n ag e d m uti lati o n . W h y n ot d e n y G o d a n d aff i rm yo urself? GET THEE BEHIND ME, G OD I

( 1 976 , 1 977)

38

THE BALLAD O F BRENDA SPENC ER

M o n day m o rn i n g , j u st a n o t h e r day D o i n g eve ryt h i n g t h e teac h e rs say B re n d a's t i red of d o i n g w h at s h e's t o l d T i red of bei n g yo u n g a n d fee l i n g o l d B r e n d a S p e n c e r h a s n 't l ost h e r p r i d e S h e g ets off o n pedagog i c i de !

Chorus:

H ear w h at B re n da's got to say " S n i p i n g l i vens up m y day. I d o n 't l i ke M o n d ays a n yway! " B re n da's t i red of fo l l owi n g t h e r u les T i red of s u ck i n g up to evi l fools L i tt l e d i d t h e g row n - u ps rea l ize B re n da's g o n n a cut t h e m d own to s ize! R at h e r than beh ave h e rs e l f today B re n d a b l ew the p ri n c i pa l away!

39

Chorus

S i x l o n g h o u rs , h a l f a d ay B re n d a h e l d t h e p i g s at bay Wan n a k n ow the reas o n why? B re n d a ' d rat h e r k i l l t h a n d i e Chorus

A l l t h e expe rts say t h at B re n da's s i c k T h ey g et p a i d to p u l l t h at d i rty t r i c k Teac h ers, d o n 't tel l B re n d a w h at to d o S h e k n ows h ow to d e a l w i t h sc u m l i ke you Ah! t h e g l ad n ess, sad n ess, mad n ess, f u n G row i ng from t h e barrel o f h e r g u n ! Chorus

M o n d ay m o rn i n g , ju st a n ot h e r day D o i n g eve ryt h i n g the teac h e rs say B re n da's t i red of d o i n g w h at she's t o l d T i red of bei n g yo u n g a n d fee l i n g o l d B re n d a S p e n c e r h a s n ' t l ost h e r p r i d e S h e g ets off o n pedagog i c i de !

(1979)

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THESES O N G R OUCHO MARXISM

1

G ro u c h o M arxi s m , t h e t h e o ry of c o m ed i c revo l u t i o n i s m u c h m o re t h a n a b l u ep ri n t fo r c rass stru g g l e : l i ke a red l i g ht i n a w i nd o w, it i l l u m i nates h u man ity's inevita ble destin y, t h e declasse s oc i ety. G - M a rx i s m i s the t h e o ry of permanent re velry. ( Down boy! T h e re , t h at's a g ood d o g m a . )

2

T h e exa m p l e of t h e M a rx B rothers t h e m se l ves s h ows t h e u n ity of M a rx i st t h e o ry and p ract i c e (for i n sta n ce, w h e n G ro u c h o i n s u l ts somebody w h i le H a rpo p i c ks h i s poc ket) . M o reover, M a rx i s m i s d i a lect i c a l ( i s n 't C h i c o t h e c l ass i c d i a lect comed i a n ? ) . C o m e d i a n s who fai l to s y n t h es i ze t h e o ry a n d p ractice ( t o say n ot h i ng o f t h ose w h o fa i l t o s i n at a l l ) a re u n ­ M a rx i st. S u bseq u e n t c o m e d i a n s , fai l i n g to g rasp t h at separat i o n i s " t h e d i screte c h a r m o f t h e b o u rg e o i s i e , " h ave l a psed i nt o m e re p ratfa l l s o n t h e o n e h a n d , a n d m e re p ratt l e o n t h e other.

3

Because G - M a rx i s m i s p ract i ca l , i ts ac h i eve m e nts c a n n eve r be red u ced to m e re h u m o r, enterta i n m e n t , o r even "art." ( T h e aest h etes, after a l l , a re l ess i n terested i n t h e a p p rec i at i o n o f a rt t h a n i n a rt t h at a p p rec i ates . ) After a g e n u i ne M a rx i st sees a M arx B rothers m o v i e , he te l l s h i mself: " If yo u t h i n k t h a t was f u n n y , take a l o o k at yo u r l ife! " 4

C o n te m p o ra ry G - M a rx i sts m u st reso l u tely d e n o u n ce t h e i m i tative, vu l g a r " M arx i s m " o f t h e T h ree Stooges, M o nty Pyt h o n ,

41

a n d B u g s B u n n y . I nstead of v u l g a r M a rx i s m , we m u st retu rn to a u t h e n t i c Marxis t vulgarity. Rect u m f i c at i o n i s l i kewise in o r d e r fo r t h ose d e l u d e d co m rades w h o t h i n k " t h e c o r rect l i n e " i s w h at t h e cop m a kes t h e m wal k w h e n h e p u l l s t h e m ove r. 5

C lass-con s c i o u s M a rx i sts ( t h at i s , M a rx i sts w h o a re c o n sc i o u s t h at t h ey h ave n o c l ass) m u st s p u rn t h e a n e m i c , t re n d y , n a rc i ss i s t i c " c o m edy" of c o m e d i c rev i s i o n i sts l i ke W o o d y A l l e n a n d J u les Fei ffer. A l ready t h e co m e d i c revo l u t i o n h as s u pe rseded m e re n e u ro s i s - it's l u d i c b u t n ot l ud i c ro u s , d i scri m i n at i n g b u t n ot d i s c ri m i n ato ry , m i l itant b u t n ot m i l itary , a n d adve n t u rous b u t not adve n t u r i st. M a rx i sts rea l ize t h at today you h ave to look i nto a fun house m i r ro r to see the way y o u rea l l y a re . 6

A l th o u g h n ot e n t i re l y l ac k i n g i n g l i m m e rs of M a rx i st i ns i g h t , soci a l i st ( s u r) real i s m m ust be d i sti n g u i s h e d from G - M a rx i s m . I t i s t r u e t h at S a l vad o r Da l i o n c e g ave H a r p o a h a r p m a d e o u t of barbed w i re; h o wever, t h e re i s no evi d e n ce t h at Harpo eve r p l ayed i t . 7

A bove al l , i t i s essent i a l to re n o u n ce a n d rev i l e a l l co m ed i c secta r i a n i s m s u c h a s t h at of t h e eq u i n e T rots . A s i s we l l- k n o w n , G ro u c h o repeated l y proposed s e x b u t o p posed sects . F o r G ro u c h o , t h e n , t h e re w a s a d i ffe rence between bei n g a T r o t a n d b e i n g h ot to trot. F u rt h e r , t h e Trot s lo g a n "Wag es f o r H o rsewo rk" s m acks of refo r m , not reve l ry. T rot effo rts to c l a i m A Day at the Races a n d Horsefeathers for t h e i r t e n d e n c y m ust b e i n d i g n a n t l y rej ected ; i n t r u t h , Na tional Velvet i s m o re t h e i r speed.

42

8

T h e b u rn i n g i s s u e c o n f ro n t i n g G - M a rxi sts today i s the party q uestion , w h i c h - n a i ve , red u ct i o n i st " M a rx i sts" to t h e c o n t ra ry - i s m o re t h a n j u st " W h y was n 't I i nv i te d ? " T h at n ever sto pped G ro u c h o ! M a rx i sts n eed t h e i r own d i sci p l i n ed van g u a rd p a rty, s i nce t h ey ' re ra re l y we l c o m e at a n y b o d y e l se's.

9

G u i ded by t h e M a rx i st lead e r-d og m as of misbeha viorism a n d hys terical ma terialism, i nevita b l y t h e m asses w i l l e m b race, n ot o n ly G - M a rx i s m , b u t a l so eac h other.

10

G ro u c h o M a rx i s m , t h e n , i s t h e tour de farce of c o m e d y . As H a rpo is re l i a b l y rep o rted to h ave sai d : I n oth e r words, c o m e d y i s r i otous o r i t i s noth i n g ! S o m u c h to do, so many t o d o i t to! On yo u r M a rx , get set - g o ! BO R E D A G A I N ? W h y n ot ratt l e yo u r cage? I p ro pose a d i a l o g o f t h e d i saffected , a c o n s p i racy o f t h e e q u a l s , a p o l i t i cs o f p l e as u re . O u rs i s t h e an omie p o wer o f negative t h i n k i n g a n d c o rros i ve l a u g h te r . T h e u n ru l y a m o n g st t h e i n sti t u t i o n a l i zed h ave o n l y t h e m s e l ves - a n d possi b l y eac h o t h e r. Let's confer. T h e c h o i ce i s sed i t i o n or sedati o n . A n y n u m b e r can p l a y .

( 1 979)

43

G ET CLEAR!

(ASS)HOLISM

Recent st u d i es s u g g est t h at c o n s c i o u s n ess i s carc i n o g e n i c . Afte r a s u rvey o f t h e et h i cs o f e n t ro py , t h e fol l ow i n g t o p i cs receive term i n a l treat m e n t : ( 1) Dyi n g as a p rocess of perso n a l g rowt h ; ( 2 ) C ha r n e l k n ow l e d g e ; ( 3 ) T h a n atot h e rapy ( w i t h e m p h a s i s o n Ad o lf i n g a n d "term i n a l sc ream " t h e ra py) ; (4) A u to­ necroph i l i a f o r t h e M e G e n e rati o n . M e ntor: Rev. J i m J o nes, Post h u m o u s P rof. of T h a n ato l og y . WHO L IS TIC WEA L TH

T h i s c o u rse has h e l ped h u n d reds of d o ctors, l awyers a n d o t h e r parasites t o feel o k ay a b o u t be i n g o bsce n e l y r i c h . M at e r i a l t h i ngs a re b u t Maya ( i l l us i o n ) -sti l l , t h ey a re you r reward f o r vi rt u e i n a p rev i o u s l ife. l e a r n to exp l o i t yo u r i n n e r r i c h es w h i l e h o l d i n g o n to yo u r o u t e r o n e s . D o n 't s h a re t h e wea l t h , s h a re t h e expe r i e n c e ! ( T u i t i o n i s tax-ded u ct i b l e . ) =

BE YOND VEG E TA RIA NISM: NE W PA THS IN PRI VA TIO N

G ave u p m eat b u t sti l l feel g u i lty? S o yo u s h o u l d ! S i n ce y o u a r e w h at y o u eat, eve n t u a l l y every vegetar i a n t u r n s can n i ba l . T h i s c o u rse i ntrodu ces y o u t o i na n i m ate eat i n g . Y o u too can s u c k rocks a n d l e a r n to l i ke i t ! T h e c o u rse i s a p re re q u i s ite to A N A E R O B I C STAS I S ( " G ood health t h ro u g h h y povent i l at i o n " ) , w h i c h ex p l a i n s h o w to e k e o u t a m is e ra b l e existen ce w i t h o u t i m m o ra l exp l o itat i o n o f t h e at m os p h e re. NE W A G E POL I TI CS

Recent deve l o p me n ts i n decentra l i zed deg rad at i o n a n d a p p ro p r i ate tec h n o c racy. Fac i l itator a n d Z e n d e m a g og u e J er ry B rown w i l l d e m o n st rate t h e feas i bi l ity of h a rness i n g p o l i t i c i a n s a s a sou rce o f w i n d power. A M a r i n C o r pse rec r u i te r w i l l a p pe a r

45

o n b e h a l f of t h e B a l o ney A l l i a n ce to e n l i st n o- n u kes n a rcs a n d pacifist p o l ice. O t h e rs t o be a n n o u n ced after secu rity p recau t i o n s a re f i n a l ized. In the Flow

TH E A D D L E D A G E O F A Q U A R I U S I S O V E R . W i s h i n g away t h e h o l i st i c h o rror of everyday l i fe d id n 't w o r k . W e we re s u c ke rs t o b u y b a c k parod ies of o u r d reams of total transfi g u rat i o n f ro m h o l istic h u ckste rs , c o n s c i o u s n ess c o n - m e n a n d awaren ess e nt re p r e n e u rs. T h e i r "alternat i ve l i fe-sty l es" o n l y offe r less of more o f the same.

T H E R E'S N O TH I N G N EW about a N ew Age of myst i c i s m , m asoc h i s m a n d m o n ey . " W e o u g ht n ot t o act a n d speak as t h o u g h we we re asleep" ( H erac l i t u s) . T h e ast ro l o g e rs h ave o n l y p re d i cted t h e f u t u re; t h e p o i n t i s t o c reate i t . Paradise is possible . D o n 't b u rn o u t , d o n 't sel l o u t , break o u t . W h y wa l low i n escap i s m w h e n we can really escape? (1979)

46

BECAUSE OF LAWS (For Jim Wheat) Because of la ws i t i s i l l e g a l -

To acq u i t yo u rs e l f w i t h c o n v i ct i o n ; T o se l l yo u rself s h o rt f o r t o o l o n g ; T o f i n i s h g o i n g d ow n o n a n u psta rt; To capital ize on c o m m u n i s m ; T o p u l l my l e g o n t h e ot h e r h a n d ; To h ave l a n d l o rd s re nt; To be Sti r n e r than M ax w i t h o u t fai l i n g M a rx ; To c o n p ros poet i c a l l y w i t h d ete r m i nate sent i e n ce; To keep t h e ba l l in yo u r cou rt w i t h o u t e n d i n g up in o n e ; To be m o re l i ke you rse l f t h a n y o u 've eve r b e e n before. ( 1 98 1 )

47

THE CORRECT LINE A spectre is haunting Terra: the spectre of comedy. East and West, " l eft" and right, power's pimps and property's property (businessmen and bureaucrats, socialists and socialites, commissars and clergymen, Coke and Pepsi) - all the fat cats and phonies and their marching morons and stultified tools are as one in their efforts to exorcise the mockery of those who fly in under their radar. Banished or bridled again and again, the Trickster always gives them the slip in the end, wearing countless faces as the institutionalized slip on their faeces. They'l l n e ver catch the Roadrunner! And now the time has come "to make the silence audible" ...with the radio off. Ragnarok 'n' roll is here to stay. "Take back the night"? Why settle for half-measures? For the unbossed and unbought it is better to score than to keep score, better to prey than to pray. Let al l she-and-hedonists shit-can the (sub)humanists; let hungry Morlocks everywhere eat the rich; l et the ludic and the Luddites put an end to the supreme servitude work. The depressi ve have reason to dispose of the repressive. Why not take the socio path? It leads to a leaderless life of permanent revelry beyond the Reality Principle. As the economy implodes and the culture corrodes and the old world erodes, as even the oblivious incline toward Oblomovism, as time runs out on the time-clock - with Armageddon imminent, the sentients and sensitives had better make sure that the Antichrist wins. It's autism against o ug h tism! Necronomics is bankrupt: statism is withering away. This is the fight to the finish between Them and Us, between gorillas and guerrillas, quantity and quality, Marxists and Groucho Marxists, the inane and the insane, Locke and Loki, the Syndicate and the cynical, the Trots and the hot-to-trot, common sense and communal sensuality, Catholics and catholics, Protestants and protestants, the ruling class and the declasse , the static and the stateless, the negation of pleasure - and the pleasure of negation. Al l reet!

49

C o n fused by C a rtes i a n , M a n i ch e a n , l eft b ra i n/r i g h t bra i n struct u ra l ist b i n a ry o p pos i t i o n s c ross h atc h i n g t h e wri n k les o n you r b ra i n ? Wo u l d y o u h es i tate t o p l ay c h ess w i t h Karen Q u i n l a n ? Y o u r p r u d e nce ( bu t n ot yo u r p r u d i s h ness) is c o m m e n d a b l e a n d , h o pefu l l y, not c o m m a n d a b l e . W h at y o u n ee d i s a d i ffe re n t ( bu t n ot d i ff i d e n t ) i n d u st r i a l-stre n g t h i de o l o g y , a fo ray i nto fuc kt u ra l i s m , t h e ( n o n - i l l u m i n i st ) i l l u m i nati o n of n orth-brain c o n sc i o u s n ess, a p l u n g e i nto 3c h o rd p o l i ti c s a n d n ot h i n g- l eft i s m . Too m uc h i s e n o u g h ! S e l f­ h e l p m ea n s h e l p yo u rself! P u rs u e l i be rati o n t h ro u g h l o gosex u a l ity: see f o r y o u rself h ow c u n n i n g - l i n g u istics a d d s a w h o l e new d i m e n s i o n to o ral sex. U se t h e power of a bs u rd i ty to expose the a b s u rdity of power. Y o u say you h e a r a d i ffe re n t d r u m m e r? M aybe so - b u t i s t h e r h yt h m syncop a ted? G i ve you rse l f p e r m i s s i o n to feel o kay a b o u t tras h i n g t h e Tota l i ty a n d its c o u n t l ess l i ce nsed l oyal o p p os i t i o n s , its a rtfu l l y e n g i n ee red i l l u s o ry alternatives to itse l f . Accept no s u bst i t u tes! Yo u ' re e n t i t l e d , after m i l l e n ia of c i vi l izat i o n , after c e n t u ries of i n d u strial i s m , after d ecades of s c h o o l i n g , after years of televi s i o n , after m o n t h s of roc k m us i c , afte r m i n u tes of read i n g - yo u ' re e n t i t l e d t o t h e s tra igh t poop. A n d h e re i t i s , t h e q u est i o n to t h e a n swer you 've b e e n h e a r i n g a l l yo u r l ife, t h e correct line: C O R R E CT

I N CO R R E CT

Sedat i o n

Sed i t i o n

Van g u a rd part i es

Afte r- h o u rs parties

F reed o m of rel i g i o n

F ree d o m from re l i g i on

L e g a l p ractice

Ta rget p ractice

B e h av i o r i s m

M i s b e h avi o r i s m

M ed itat i o n

P re m ed itat i o n

Len i n i s m

L e n n on i s m

P ray i n g

P l ay i n g

F ree trade

R o u g h t ra d e

C o u n te r-c u l t u re

C o u nteri n g c u l t u re

50

Po l it i ca l move m e n ts

Pe l v i c move m e n ts

Dad

Dada

R eve l at i o n

Revo l ut i o n

Wars

W h o res

C l as s i c a l l i b e ra l s

Rococo rad i c a l s

Reason

T reaso n

Sects

Sex

Cap i ta l p u n i s h m en t

The p u n i s h m e n t of c a p i t a l

Ato m i c power

A n o m i e power

L awye rs

Scoffl awye rs

Homophobia

Nomophobia

Separat i o n of c h u rc h

A bo l i t i o n of c h u rc h a n d state

a n d state C o n s u l ta n ts

l n s u l t a n ts

E l ect i o n s

E re ct i o n s

F o rce

F a rc e

H i storical materi a l i s m

H yste r i c a l m ateri a l i s m

Racism

E rase-i s m

N e u rotics

E roti cs

Pos i t i ve t h i n k i n g

Pos i t i ve d ri n k i n g

L i berta r i a n s

L i b e rt i nes

TV

TV's

T h eo l og i a n s

N eo i og i a n s

Forei g n affa i rs

F o re i g n affa i rs L EV I TY I S T H E 4TH D I M E N S I O N !

II

t h e correct l i ne ( 1 98 1 )

51

II

,

,

DECLASS E (FIEDS)

( H ) E l( L ) , SALVA D O R ? Peace i s i m p o rta n t to be l eft to t h e p ac i f i sts, m u c h l e s s left t o t h e l eft. Less pass i v i s m , m o re p ac i f i s m ! Peacemongers.

P O S I T I O N S AVA I L A B L E : P r o n e o r s u p i n e . To g et o n - o r to g e t i t o n ? To p a y o r t o p l ay? To g et u p o r t o g et i t u p ? T o w o r k o r to s h i rk ? D o n 't d o w n s i z e desi re! T h ere i s n o l i fe aft e r w o r k . Workers Against Work.

too

TO BE S CHOOLED is to be ru led. I n d u l g e · in the p l ea s u res of p ed a n t i c i d e - don't deny y o u rself t h e d e l i g h ts of d i d ac t i c i d e ! I n stead of term i n at i n g p rej u d i ced tea c h e rs , w h y not term i n ate tea c h e rs " w i t h p rej u d i ce "? T h ose w h o c a n , d o ; t h ose w h o c a n 't, t e a c h - a n d t h ose who d o n 't want to, f i g h t b a c k ! B re n d a than Better H er b e rt S p e n cer! Pedagogicides.

ATT E N T I O N N E W (W)A G E I ST S : A good m a n tra is h a rd to f i n d . T h e A q u a r i a n A g e : t h e W h o l ocaust. Godless Communists ( att n : S u f i S a l e s , D e m e n t o r) . FAI L I N G MARX: M a o i sts: M a rx i st M oo n ies. T rots k y i s m : Sta l i n i s m ' s loyal o p po s i t i o n . Left i s m : Too m a n y causes, not e n o u g h effects. Why n ot g o s o far l eft you 've l eft

M O RA L I S M : Service to c auses . . .

t h e l eft beh i n d ? T h e l eft is g a u c h e ,

c a u ses s e rv i t u d e . T h e l 's h ave i t !

m a ke you r own No thing-Leftists.

Marxist-Stirnerists.

revo l u t i o n !

N EW WAVE: W i t h e re d on t h e v i n y l . "MASTE R S W I T H O U T SLAVES" n eeded to c o m p l ete pass i o n a l s e r i es : p o l y g y n es , bacc h a n tes, l i c e n t i ates, and tetrat o n es ( w i l l c o n s i d e r t r i t o n e s . ) N o pets ( a n t i ­ l i o n s O K ) . Gang of Fourier.

S o p h i st i cated, e h ? To be bored i s t o b e b o r i n g . I t's a rt, b u t i s i t g oo d ? Pata-Poseurs.

I N A BAD STATE? T h ere a r e n ' t a n y g o o d o n es . T h e s u p e rs t r u ct u re i s base. S m as h l ex i s m ! l mpoliticians.

T H E L I B E RAL: W h e n ever a n y b od y m e n t i o n s revo lvers, h e rea c h e s f o r h i s c u l t u re. P r o g ress? T h e f u t u re i s passe. W h y l et c u l t u re t a k e its c o u rse? Misanthropologists.

C O U P LES:

Tact i c a l

n u c l ea r

fa m i l i es, P rost i t u t i o n : b u ysex u a l ity. Less sex i s m , m o re sex! D o n 't let t h e m revo k e y o u r l i ce n t i o u s n ess .

Orgastronomes.

SAM E S E E KS S A M E . S o l i p s i s t seeks self for s u p e rf l u o u s sy m m et ry . Let's be a l o n e toget h er. lnvolutionaries.

LAW: T h e o n l y ca u se of c r i m e ; fi rst forem ost of the " h u rt i n g p rofess i o n s . " W h y n ot t ry ro b b e ry for " h a n d s - u p " e x p e r i e n ce? C r i m e i s s e l f- h e l p a n t i n o m i a n i s m . L i f e l ess l a w - o r t h e l a w l ess l i fe ? Y o u be t h e j u d g e . Nomophobes

and

L E I S U R E: H o w to m a k e p l ay wo r k . You r p l ace o r M e i n K a m pf? P l ay f o r keeps! Misbehaviorists.

53

S P A C E C O L O N IZAT I O N ? B etter sta rt w i t h the vac u u m between y o u r ears. The E n t e r p r i se is a g a r b a g e scow. I n stead of l owe r g ravity, w h y n o t h i g h e r lev i ty? F u t u r i s m i s react i o n a ry . W h y not science f r i ct i o n ? The E m p i re s t r i k e s o u t . . . m a y t h e farce be w i t h yo u ! P h rases o n st u n ! Artaud 02. MAN B I T E S G O D ! Wafe r M a d n ess, sacra m e n t a l i l l ness. S ee t h e P o l i s h Pope t u r n w i n e i n to water! D e i c i d e i s a v i ct i m l ess c r i m e . Primates.

a

J U S T I C E we t h o u g h t : i n stead of d u e p rocess, der Prozess. To n o n s u i t the 3- p i ece set ( a k a t h e Tweed

Ring)

be

p l a i ntive,

n ot

p l a i n t i ff . . . m a k e a c r i m i n a l a p pea l !

Translexuals.

PULL

THE

PLUG

on

rad i o

evan g e l i sts. Less a u ra l sects, m o re o ra l sex! Ranters.

( 1 981 - 1 982)

54

INS & O UTS

Affecti o n i s O U T .

T h e M ed f l i es a re O U T .

Affectat i o n i s I N .

T h e F e d l i es a re I N .

T o " g o fo r broke" i s O U T.

D i atri bes a re O U T .

G o i n g broke is I N .

" T h e t r i bes" a r e I N .

M e ntat i o n i s O U T .

I ntox i cati o n i s O U T .

R eg i m e ntat i o n i s I N .

Tox i c i ty i s I N .

C reat i v i ty i s O U T .

T h e " boat

C reat i o n i s m i s I N .

T h e m i ss-the-boat peo p l e a re I N .

peo p l e " a re O U T

D o pe i s O U T . Punk is OUT.

D o pes are I N .

B u n k is I N . Stri kes a re O U T . W i l hel m Reich i s OUT.

F i rst-st r i kes a re I N .

T h e T h i rd R e i c h i s I N . " Back t o t h e l a n d "

is

OUT.

Rad i ca l s are O U T .

Bac ks-to-t h e-wa l l i s I N .

Radiation is I N .

Real ity i s O U T .

69 i s O U T .

R e a l ty i s I N .

666 i s I N .

T h e o bsce n e i s O U T .

B oh e m i a n i s m i s O U T .

T h e "scene" i s I N .

T h e B o h e m i a n G rove i s I N .

55

" M a k i n g it" i s I N .

N u kes a re I N .

M a k i n g so m e bo d y e l s e i s O U T .

Koo ks a re O U T .

Po l i s h wo rkers a re I N .

T h e space p rog ra m i s I N .

A m erican OUT.

S p ac i n g o u t yo u r p rog ram m i n g i s O UT .

9-d i g i t Z I P c o d e s a r e I N .

O rg a n i c i s I N .

3-d i g i t I Q 's are O U T .

O rgasm i c i s O U T .

C astrat i o n i s I N .

Realpol itik is I N .

Cast i g at i o n i s O U T .

T h e i m po l i t i c are O UT .

Desi g n er j e a n s are I N .

C e l i bacy i s I N .

S u pe r i o r g e n es are O U T .

C e l e b rat i o n i s O U T .

C o n se rv!'lt i s m i s I N .

L i be rta r i a n s a r e I N .

C o n servat i o n i s O U T .

L i be rty i s O U T .

Coupl ism is I N .

H e ro-wo rs h i p i s I N .

C o p u l at i o n i s O U T .

H e ro i s m i s O U T .

Pos i t i ve t h i n k i n g i s I N .

Poseu rs l i ke y o u a re I N .

workers

a re

P rose u rs

Pos i t i ve d r i n k i n g i s O U T .

l i ke

me

a re

OUT.

N at i o n a l i s m i s I N . l ns u bo rd i n a t i o n a l i s m i s O UT .

R o n a l d Reagan i s I N .

Tiny l ittle g u n s are {alas!) OUT.

G ett i n g t h e I n 's o u t a n d t h e O ut's i n sti l l l eaves t h e i ns i d e i n a n d t h e o u ts i d e o u t . T h e i ns i d e i s a lways t h e s i n s i de . T h e o u t s i d e i s a l ways o u t of i t . To t u rn t h e w o r l d i n s i d e o u t , s mash t h e m i rror - o r step t h ro u g h i t . . . to t h e other side of t h e M o e b i us stri p . ( 1 98 1 ' 1 982)

56

Can You Tell A Cutthroat From A Tracheotomist? 20

QUESTIONS

1 . I f a fet u s i s a perso n , w h y d oes i t l oo k l i ke a steam ed p rawn ? 2 . A re b i l l boards " co m m uter prog ram m i n g " ? 3 . Were t h e P i l g ri m s t h e fi rst boat p eo p le? 4 . Does t h e S i l ent M aj o rity be l i eve in H a rpo M a rx i s m ? 5 . W i l l ban n i n g c h e a p h a n d g u ns p rod uce a bett e r c l ass o f c ri m i n a l ? 6 . H aven't p u n ks bec o m e b o r i n g young tarts? 7 . Do pooper-scooper o rd i na n ces mean m o re l aw , l ess o rd u re ? 8 . I f J es u s i s co m i n g a g a i n , w h at i s H i s refracto ry peri od? 9. If t h e re's a ri g ht t o property, w h e re can I s i g n up for m i n e ? 1 0 . W h y d o vegeta r i a n s b i te t h e i r n a i ls? 1 1 . Can R ea g a n tel l t h e truly n eedy from t h e t r u l y g reedy? 1 2 . A re n 't b osses the rea l " T i m e Ba n d i ts " ? 1 3 . I f G o d w a n t e d u s to s u c k c o c k , wo u l d n 't H e h ave g i ven u s l i ps ? 1 4 . D o w h a l es c a u s e c a n c e r? 1 5 . I s Reag a n o m ics t h e sc i e n ce of h o l o ca u st-be n ef i t a n a l ys i s ? 1 6 . D i d t h e P o l i s h P o pe atte n d t h e Co l l eg e of Card i n a l s o n a footb a l l s c h o l a rs h i p? 1 7 . W h y d o peo p l e w h o say " t h e re's n o f ree l u n c h " h ave expense acc o u nts? 1 8 . If s i sterhood i s powe rf u l , s h o u l d n 't fe m i n i sts d o uc h e m ore ofte n ? 1 9 . W h y d o n 't peo p l e take f r i v o l ity se r i o u s ly? 20. W h y not c u t c l ass soci ety?

57

I F YOU

w o u l d l i ke t o see l ess posers a n d m o re o p posers ; reco i less from r i f l es than you used t o ; a r e too p o o r for t h e ritual ; t h row tem pe r tant ri cs ; a r e m o re tact i l e than tactf u l ; t h i n k C h ristian ity i s t h e G reatest Story Ever S o l d ; l o n g for a n a l t e r n at i ve alternative; h ave n o pat i e n ce with pat i e nts; e nj o y "6669" ; o p pose

THE N

a

f i rst st r i k e and p ro pose a g e n e ra l stri ke;

you a l read y k n ow t h at Arbeit Is W o rse T h a n O u r B a rk

( 1 98 2 )

58

SURREALIST DESTINIES : MIX AND MAT C H !

A n d re B reto n

D i p l o m at

Steve S c h wartz

Cath o l i c devot i o n a l pai n t e r

A i m e Cesa i re

K n ight (soil)

L o u i s A rag o n

W rote a l o n g book on A rt

H e r bert R ead

Co m m u n i st Party off i c i a l T ra d e j o u r n a l ist

O ctav i o Paz Salva d o r D a l i

Racial n at i o n a l i st ( 1 982)

59

FIG HTING WORDS An Epigrammar " ' F i g h t i n g ' words - t h ose w h i c h by t h e i r ve ry u tte ra nce i n f l i ct i nj u ry o r te n d to i n c i te a n i m m e d i ate b reac h of t h e peace . " Chaplinsky v. New Hampshire, 3 1 5 U . S . 568, 5 7 1 -72 ( 1 942 )

" Every q u otat i o n is a l s o a n i nterp retat i o n . " - G e o rg L u kacs, History and Class Consciousness

I DEOLOGUES

" T h e n i h i l i st says : I w a n t a siec/e w i t h fins o n i t . " - A L F R E D JARRY CORN ELI US " L i b e rta ri a n s d o t i m e/ m o t i o n st u d i es i n t h e bath roo m . " K U RT A N G LO-SAX O N " A n d they d o cost-benefit a n a l yses i n t h e bed roo m ! " - J O D I E F O S T E R- N I ETZS C H E " T h e M a rx i sts h ave o n ly c h a n g e d t h e worl d ; t h e p o i n t , h oweve r, i s ato p t h e i r head s . " - B A K U N I N E G G S " Less l a i ssez-fai re , m o re savo i r-fa i re ! " -AY N K R U G G E R A N D " Y o u want ' A n a r c h y N ow'? I w i s h I had yo u r p at i e n c e . " PETRON I US A R B EITER

61

" ' F ree m a r ket , ' t h ey say - b u t w h y d o t h ey a l ways m a rket u p? " -OYST E R S R O C K E F E L L E R I V " Everyt h i n g l eft a n d r i g h t say a b o u t each o t h e r i s t r u e . " M A L C O L M S EX " L i b e rta r i a n s w h o d o n 't bel i eve i n paper m o ney are we l c o m e to se n d me a l l of t h e i rs . " - LYS ER G I C S P O O N E R

T H E N EW S

" Less g u n c o n t ro l , m o re goon c o n t ro l ! " -J U D G E L EA R N E D H AN D G U N (to O L I V E R W E N D E L L O M , J R . ) " Every A rg e n t i n e w h o i s n 't Peron i s s u p i n e . " - G EO R G E B E R N A R D P S H AW (to J O H N B U L LS H I T a n d W I L L I A M M O RASS) " D o n 't g i ve up t h e s h e ep ! " - R EA R A D M I RA L G A U C H O MARX " I s ' t h e G ove r n m e nt's ra i l road of B o b Ava k i a n ' a sea l e d boxca r?" - E M MA G O L D B R I C K " D o n 't s h oot u nt i l you see t h e w h ites o f t h e ir s k i n s . " M A RT I N L U T H E R K I N K , J R . (to G H ETTO M A R X )

SEX

" G ive m e a p l ac e to sta n d , a n d I w i l l s i t o n y o u r fac e . " V I R G I N I A D E N TATA (to Y O N I M I TC H E L L )

62

" Do ot h e rs as y o u wo u l d h ave t h e m d o yo u . " - F E R A L FAWC ETT " G ive me l i be rty , o r g i ve me h ead ! " - M O B I U S D I C K (to A N DY WH O R E H O L E)

FAITH

"He who i s o n the s p i r i t u a l p l a n e , m i sses the boat. " M A H A T M A P R O PA G A N D H I " I f you tu rn t h e oth e r c h ee k , yo u ' l l catch a s l a p o n t h at s i d e too . " - B R I GA N D YO U N G " B h ag wa n , MAN C H U

hu mbug!

G o , a n d Zen

no

m o re . " -TO F U

" T h e Raptu re? G o o d r i d d a n c e ! " -ANAL R O B ERTS "S u re t h e J ews a re C h rist- k i l l e rs , b u t w h at h ave t h ey done fo r us l ate ly?" -G I D E O N STR U M P ET " B u d d y , can youse parad i g m ? " - E L M E R G EN T R Y " Do n 't ro l l away t h e sto n e ! L eave wel l e n o u g h a l o n e ! " I G N I T I O N D I S LOYO LA

T H E "S C E N E "

" I f you k n ow h ow to s pe l l 'pose u r , ' y o u are o n e . " - M O R LO C K H O L M ES ( t o G UY D . S KAT E B O A R D )

63

" N ew wave m eans weari n g a safety- p i n i n you r c h i c . " H A I RY D E BB I E " H i sto ry i s p u n k . " - H E N RY F N O R D

OTHER POISON-PENSEES

" I m itat i o n i s t h e s i n ce rest fo r m of c o n te m pt . " - WAT TYL E N O L " 'A rt i sts are h i g h stru n g . ' ' Yo u m ea n t h ey s h o u l d b e ! ' " P S E U D O N Y M O U S B O S C H a n d O N A N T H E BA R BA R I A N " Neces s i ty makes m o t h e rs of P U N C H I N E L L O (to PATTY D U P E )

us

all . "

-

A N N ETTE

" I f yo u ' re s o r i c h , w h y a re n 't y o u s mart ? ' ' - C H I P S I L I CO N E (to M U F F Y D I VE R ) " I t's better t o be mean t h a n average . A n d it's fi n e to b e coars e ! " - J A M E S VAG A B O N D ( 1 983)

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Ill: APPEAL T O REASON

(1982 .. 1984)

O n La b o r Day, 1 980, I p a rt i c i pated i n a n eve n t I 'd h e l ped o rg a n ize - a take-off on p u n k po l i t i c a l eve nts l i ke " R o c k A g a i n st R a c i s m " - t h e R o c k A g a i n st W o r k . I m et a o n e-t i m e u n derg ro u n d newspaper p u b l i s h er, J o h n B rya n , w h o l ater started a n ee-u n d e rg ro u n d paper ca l le d Appeal t o Reason p i t c h e d to h i p p i e lefti sts of t h e 60's G e n e rati o n . B ryan l i ked m e a n d my f l ye rs , a l t h o u g h t h ey often g rated o n h i s constitu e n cy , a n d l et m e write a co l u m n , i l l - n a m ed " A p pe a l to T reas o n . " A l th o u g h t h e re was f r i ct i o n between t h i s re l u ctant e l ecto ral so c i a l i st and m yse l f , as m i g ht be expecte d , h e prov i d ed m e w i t h a l ess fettered fo r u m t h a n a n yo n e e l se h a s , n ota b l y i n c l u d i n g t h e " a n a rc h i st" m e d i a . I was p h as i n g o u t f l y e rs a t t h e s a m e t i m e , a n d newspaper c o l u m n s , a l t h o u g h i n f o r m a reg ress i o n t o m od e s o f e x p ress i o n I 'd sta rted o u t to avo i d , worked o u t to l e r a b l y we l l i n t h e i r stead . B ryan's l ast i s s u e , u s i n g h i s p rev i o u s paper n a m e Open City, was a i m ed a t t h e D e m oc rati c C o n ve n t i o n a n d i n c l u d ed m y C o n coverage ( n ot re p r i n ted h e re ) a s we l l a s " T h e P o l i t i c a l T h eo l og y o f Ferl i n g hett i . "

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ANTI-N U CLEAR TERR OR, O R , I FEEL A C HILIASM Seve ra l yea rs ago I h a d a h i pp i e roo m m ate who d i s m i ssed p u n k by say i n g , "You can't keep an n o u n c i n g the a poca l y pse fo r t h e day after t o m o rrow. " H e was r i g h t , a n d n ot o n l y because p u n k h a d the s h o rtest h a l f- l ife of a n y c o u n te r-c u l t u re to d ate. Fear i s a m i g hty force, espec i a l l y i f t h e re rea l ly i s reaso n to be sca red s h i tless, as i n t h e c a s e o f a n yt h i n g n u c l ea r . B u t, eve n a p a rt f ro m t h e d i sa b l i n g d i st ress atte n d i n g t h e exper i e n c e , fea r h as its l i m its as a m otivat i o n , a n d t h e N ewest L eft - t h e a n t i wa r/a n t i- n u ke o p po s i t i o n - m ay t r i p itse l f u p u n l ess it respects t h e m . Terro r - i n c l u d i n g , b u t n ot o n l y t h e "terro r i s m " we' re t ra i ned to sel ectively abhor - c a n p ro b a b l y i n d u ce a l m ost a n y res ponse a scare m o n g e r w a n t s , a t l east for awh i l e . B u t i t l e n d s i t s e l f to so m e u ses m u c h m o re t h a n oth e rs . H i sto r i ca l l y i t 's a l ways worked best to b u ffal o peo p l e i nto war: o n l y rece n t l y h a s fea r of war itself ove r r i d e n fea r of t h e off i c i a l l y a n o i nted E n e m y fo r s i g n i f i c a n t n u m be rs o f p eo p l e i n E u rope a n d A m e ri ca. T h e i rreve rs i b l y catast ro p h i c c o n seq u e n ces of n u c l ea r war h ave offered to antiwar act i v ists a n i ns i d i o u s tem ptat i o n to terro rize the terro r i sts. W h at i s R e ag a n ' s s h opworn Red S care c o m pa red to wo r l d w i d e b i o c i d e ? And any h alfwit c a n see t h at t h e n e a rest n u c l ea r powe r p l a n t i s a m e n ace bes i d e w h i c h a few fa raway i n s u rg e n t b a n a na-re p u b l i c a n s a p pear as v i rt u a l p h a n tas m s , eve n i f yo u g i ve so m e c re d e n ce to C o l d Wa r m yt h o l ogy. T u r n i n g t h e ta b l es o n o u r T ri l ateral tyrants se rves th� m r i g h t . B u t is it r i g h t to se rve t h e m ? To overs i m p l i fy: peo p l e can be f r i g htened i nto d o i n g t h i n g s t o a b o u t t h e s a m e exte n t t h ey can be coe rced i nto d o i n g t h e m . F o rce a n d fear can p reve n t peo p l e f r o m d o i n g m ost a n yt h i n g t h ey want to. T h ey c a n a l s o c o m p e l t h e exec u t i o n o f a few f a i r l y s i m p l e tas ks. B u t t h ey c a n ' t c o m m a n d c reat i v i ty o r i m ag i n at i o n . ( I n t h e antebe l l u m s o u t h , f i e l d h a n d s co u l d be w h i p ped i nto work i n g - up to a po i nt - b u t s l ave c rafts m a n enj oyed a g reat d ea l of s l a c k , a l th o u g h l eg a l l y t h ey were eq u a l l y at the m e rcy of

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t h e i r m asters. T h e l aw oversteps t h e b o u n d s of workaday rea l i ty at its own p e ri l . ) You can c reate a bogeyman eas i ly e n o u g h , a n d t h e N ewest Left h as d o n e s o , w i t h p e r h a ps m o re j ustificat i o n t h a n a n y of its p redecess o rs . B u t ( o n e , t w o , t h ree) w h at a re w e fi g h t i n g for? S e l f- i n d u ce d h yste r i a c a n o n l y eve n t u ate i n b u rn o u t ( o r se l l o u t ) . I f t h e a n t i wa r doo m sayers at t h e i r m ost extravag a n t are co rrect, the wo r l d w i l l s h o rt l y self-destruct and we n eed n 't c o n ce r n o u rself w i t h p etty peri p h eral p ro b l e m s l i ke stat i s m o r c l ass soc i ety. I nstead , l et u s w i s h o u r s u ccess o rs t h e c oc k roac h es t h e best of l u c k a s , freed a t l ast f r o m t h e ravages o f B l a c k F l a g , t h ey t a k e t h e i r t u r n t ry i n g to evo l ve to t h e p o i n t t h ey can ra i se t h e b l a c k f l aa as t h e i r o w n . B u t i f - as, o p e rat i o n a l l y , we a l l ass u m e - n e i t h e r n uc l e a r h o l o c a u st n o r ecoc i d e i s g o i n g to h a p p e n i n t h e s h o rt r u n , t h e n t h e re i s t i m e , i f t h e re i s t i m e for a n yt h i n g , t o d o u bt w h et h e r f re n zy i s t h e s h o rt c u t to s a l vat i o n . Y o u h ave to won d e r a b o u t a m ovem e n t e n co m pass i n g R e p u b l i ca n s f o r a N uc le a r F reeze, C at h o l i cs fo r a N u c l ea r F reeze, U n i o n B osses f o r a N uc l ea r F reeze, Stal i n i sts f o r a ( u n i l at e ra l ) N uc l e a r F reeze, M o m entari l y O u t-of-Office Wa r m o n g e rs f o r a N u c l ea r F reeze, etc. A re t h e y a l l u n d e r a n u m b re l l a - o r a c i rc u s tent? S u c h p ro m i sc u i ty p e r h a ps o bs c u res t h e f u n d a m e n t a l d iffe ren c e between t h ose of Us who c rave peace, h ea l t h , free d o m a n d p l easu re - a n d t h os e of T h e m w h o , a p a rt f ro m t h e i nt e rest t h ey p res u m a b l y s h are w i t h u s in avoi d i n g vaporizat i o n , make i t t h e i r ( t h at i s t o say, b u s i n ess') b u s i n ess t o deny o u r asp i rati o n s and w h o , u n t i l te n m i n utes a g o , we re t h e p i l l a rs of t h e System w h i c h c reated t h i s crisis. I t i s n 't r i t u a l o b e i s a n c e t o vari o u s M a rxist o r o t h e r-ist t h e o r i es w h i c h red u ce n ukes a n d a l l o th e r evils fro m video g a m es to s p l it e n d s to s o m e d e m o n i c abstracti o n ( c a p i t a l i s m , i rre l i g i o n , t h e w ro n g h a l f of t h e b ra i n , possess i o n of a pe n i s , etc . ) t h at I ' m p roposi n g - far f r o m i t . T h at's t h e k i n d o f (for l a c k o f a bette r word) t h i n k i n g t h at g ot u s i nto .t h i s m ess. A n t i- n u k e rs a r e ri g h t t o defe n d t h e i r i n s i g h t i nto t h e m a l i g n ity of n u clearism itself a g a i n st vari o u s o p p o rt u n ist l efti st a n d/or m o ra l ist i m pe ri a l i sts who t ry to a n n ex the i s s u e f o r t h e i r own p u rposes. B u t t h i s i s n ot to say t h at n u kes fel l o n o u r heads f ro m M a rs o n e d ay. I n fact

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t h ey' re t h e p ro d uct of o u r own soci ety - i n deed , o u r own cou ntry, l ater j o i n e d by ass o rted Sta l i n i st and n at i o n a l i st reg i m es. I t's t h e l owest-co m m o n - d e n o m i nator, m o d e rate favo r­ t rad e rs w h ose a n t i- n u c l e a r a rd o r is n a i ve or h y p o c r i t i c a l ; n ot t h e i nt ra n s i g e n ce of t h ose w h o o n ly asse rt t h e o b v i o u s w h e n t h ey po i nt o u t t h at n u kes a re t h e patri c i d a l c h i l d re n of a n u c leog e n i c soc i ety. When " respecta b l e" a n t i - n u c l ea r Esta b l i s h m en t a r i a n s a rg u e t h at a f reeze i s reas o n a b l e s i nce, after a l l , w e a l read y h ave t h e capacity to exte r m i n ate o u r a l leged e n e m ies m a n y t i m es ove r ­ d oesn't t h at c o n f i rm t h e utter i n adeq u acy of t h e e l ectoral f reeze­ fet i s h ? A l th o u g h - even beca use - t h e re i s good c a u se for fear, w e m u st a p peal l ess to fea r ( a n d h ate) t h a n to l ove, l u st , c reative power, u nt ra m m e l l ed i m ag i n at i o n , h ope and d e s i re. W h at we c rave at l o n g l ast i s life, n ot m e re m i serab l e s u rv i va l , w h i c h a l m ost certai n l y we can't h ave a n yway w i t h o u t a rad i ca l overt u rn o f i n st i t u t i o n s a n d a rad i c a l t ra n sva l u at i o n of va l u es. O n l y P l uto, t h e G od of Wea l t h , d i s p u tes his p l u to n i u m pate r n ity. I h ave to ag ree with w h at Bob B ru baker has w r i tte n : "To me, a m ovem e n t t h at c ri t i c izes d a i l y l i fe w i t h o u t eve r m e n t i o n i n g n u c l e a r wea p o n s i s fa r m o re p rofo u n d t h a n a move m e n t w h i c h c r i t i c i zes n u c l e a r wea p o n s w i t h o u t ever m e n t i o n i n g everyday l i fe . " ( 1 982}

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LET US PREY !

T h a n ks to t h e M o ral M aj o r i ty , it's ag a i n o k ay to be a n t i ­ re l i g i o u s - a little b i t , a n yway. A n d y e t o n ly t h e g rossest g ra n d i ose a b u ses of the rad i o react i o n a ri es a n d d i rect- m a i l c h a u v i n i st p i g s c o m e i n for even po l i te c r i t i c i s m . T h at's too bad , 'cause if you t u rn t h e ot h e r c h e e k , yo u ' l l p r o b a b l y catch a s l a p o n t h at s i d e t o o . W h e n t h e f u n d a m e ntal i sts sta rt p i l i n g u p fagg ots a ro u n d fag g ots, l et's not l i m it o u rselves to d e p l o r i n g t h e fi re c o d e v i o l at i o n . Face i t : t h e ag g ress ive elan o f t h e re l i g i o u s r i g h t i s ru n n i n g r i n g s a ro u n d t h e l i m i ted l eg a l i s m o f its e n e m i es . T h e re p ress ive rig h t i s (on t h e ) offe n s i ve . The p u n c h-d r u n k, p u n c h - p u l l i n g " p rog res s i ves" are o n l y rea ct i n g . U n l i ke m ost w h o m o d e l t h e adjective, t h e g o d l y rea l l y a re rad i c a l . T h ey're h ap py t o rew rite o r rip up t h e i r own reve red C o n st i t u t i o n . T h ey ' re o u t to s h atte r t h e s oc i a l a n d sex u a l stat u s q u o . T h ey h ave a ( t u n ne l ) v i s i o n of a t h eo c rat i c N ew O rd e r. T h ey mean b u s i n ess. The l i bera l s and l eft i sts in cont rast a re d i t h e r i n g , defe n s i v e conservat ives - Wei m a r paralyt i c s u n wi l l i n g to d o u nto ot h e rs w h at's be i n g d o n e u n to t h e m . W h y n ot? U nt i l rece n t l y , l efti sts reg a rd ed a n y res u rrect i o n of the M a rx i st a n d B a k u n i n i st c r it i q u es of re l i g i o n as o l d -fas h i o n e d a n d i rre levant. T h e fact t h at " t h e m asses" t h ey p rofess to se rve b u t sec ret l y despise sti l l l arge l y ad h ered t o a wate red-down C h r i st i a n ity d i d n ' t d i st u rb the l eft i st l ea d e rs h i p . T h at was j u st one m o re s i g n of the e l ect t o d i st i n g u i s h the van g u ard from t h e ran k a n d f i l e; o n e m o re re m i n d e r t h at t h e h o i - po l l o i n ee d to b e c o n t ro l led f o r t h e i r own g o o d . C e rta i n l y s u c h s u p e rst i t i o n s , i f ove rlooked , p roved n o o bstac l e to t h e offi c i a l d o m 's p r i m e p u rpose: h e rd i n g peo p l e i nto its part i es and u n i o n s. B y the 1 960's, the l eft's i n h e ritance of E n l i g h te n m ent f reet h o u g ht had s o far evapo rated t h at " M arxist­ C h r i st i a n d i al o g " beca m e fas h i o n a b l e . T h e Rev. M a rt i n L u t h e r K i n g , J r. , espec i a l l y aft e r h i s m a rtyrd o m , ass u m e d tote m i c

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stat u re , h i s h o l y n a m e g rac i n g i n n u m era b l e a n d o t h e rw i s e u n c h a n g e d streets, s c h o o ls , parks a n d b u i l d i n g s . T h e N ew Left toyed w i t h m yst i c i s m - a te n d e n cy w h i c h l ater d i ffe re n t i ated i nto a s e l f-s u bs iste n t sca m -s u bc u l t u re , t h e N ew Age - a n d c o l l a b o rated w i t h Q u a k e rs, re l i g i o u s l i b e ra l s a n d h i p Vati c a n I I p ri ests a n d n u n s i n a n t i wa r w o r k a n d va r i o u s ventu res i n h u m a n i t a r i a n u p l i ft. A m o n g l i b e ra l s , the m e re mention of re l i g i o n was a b reach of good taste as we l l as a t h reat to the N e w Deal coa l i t i o n w h i c h yoked t h e m to t h e Cath o l i c et h n i c s . Eve ryt h i n g , f ro m t h e K e n n ed y c u l t to t h e rad i ca l- l i beral eff u s i o n s of t h e N at i o n a l C o u n c i l o f C h u rc h e s , c o m b i n ed to a b o rt a n y res u m pt i o n of t h e l i beral a n t i c l e ri ca l trad i t i o n of P a i n e a n d J effers o n . I t i s n 't easy to hew to Voltai rea n verities w h i l e h o l d i n g h a n d s w i t h a m i n i ­ s k i rted n u n a n d a b l a c k Haptist pasto r as y o u l i ft u p yo u r vo i ces i n a c h o ru s of "We S h a l l Overco m e . " T h e 70's m a d e m atte rs wo rse. A med i a- m a n u factu red w h ite eth n i c/" h a rd h at" fad es p o u sed by some o p p o rtu n i st i n te l l ect u a l s f u rt h e r i n s u l ated p o p u l a r p i ety f ro m t h e c r i t i c i s m a n d contempt i t deserve d . Desp i te t h e B e r r i g a n B roth e rs , d e s p i te fo l k- m u s i c m asses a n d oth e r ec u m e n i ca l cos m eti cs, t h e Cath o l i c C h u rc h d evoted i t s m i l l i o n s - a n d i t s m i l l i o n s o f myst i f i e d m i n i o n s - to o p pos i n g a b o rt i o n a n d i m p os i n g m o ra l s l aws. Th e l eft p roved u s e l ess . It was b u sy d i s i n te g rat i n g i nto c o u n t less spec i a l - i n t e rest g ro u ps , eac h aspi r i n g to the e n v i e d pos i t i o n of v i ct i m-g ro u p w h i c h t h e b l acks h a d ass u med w i t h s u c h see m i n g s u ccess. T h e Le n i n ist sects w h i c h kept u p t h e revo l u t i o n ary r h eto r i c l i kew i se c l a i m e d to b e t h e a g e n t of a spec i a l ty g ro u p, t h e p ro l etariat, g r u d g i n g l y a u g m e n ted w i t h ot h e rs ( eve ry b o d y h a d to p a l l i ate wo m e n , b u t s o m e c o u l d n ever b ri n g t h e m se l ves to c h a m p i o n gays) , b u t in all cases the c r i t i q u e o f t h e total ity was fo reswo rn . W i t h m o re l eft ist o r g a n izat i o n s b u t l ess l eft i sts t h a n a d ecade befo re, a l l t h at h a p p e n ed was t h at a few m o re s m a l l-ti m e o p e rat i o n s ass u m e d t h e i r m o d est p l ace i n t h e pse u d o-p l u ra l i st syste m o f c o n s t i t u e n c y po l it i cs. T h e sine qua non of t h i s acco m od ati o n was of c o u rse a tac i t u n de rstan d i n g to ove r l o o k o n e a n o t h e r's s h o rtco m i n gs , espec i a l l y t h e o n es c o m m o n to a l l . O n t h e d efe n s i ve a n d p l a yi n g

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i t safe, l eft i sts we re abo u t as l i ke l y to tac k l e t h e R e l i g i o u s Q u esti o n as, say, t h e J e w i s h Q uest i o n . A s fo r t h e l i b e ra l s . . . wha t l i b e rals? A s Sau l A l i n s ky ( i t takes one to k n ow o n e) o n ce sai d : " A l i b e ral is a g uy who l eaves t h e roo m w h e n an arg u me n t t u rns i nto a f i g h t . " A n d t h e n t h e re was t h e Age of A q u ar i u s . ( B u d d y , can y o u se parad i g m ? ) T h e N e w Agers sy n c ret i n ized t h e wo rst m u s h m i n d ed , narc i s s i st i c a n d acco modat i o n i st c u rre nts o f t h e C o u n t e rc u l t u re ( t h e N e w Left at p l ay) i nto a n ew rel i g i o n of res i g n at i o n . Earl i e r re l i g i o u s zea l ots at l east c h ecked eac h othe r's excesses by expos i n g a n d exco riati n g th e m . I n t h e N e w A g e , h o wever, a l l re l i g i o n s a re t r u e . I ' m o kay, yo u ' re o kay. T h i s t i m e t h e p ro b l e m i s n ot g o i n g to s o l ve itse l f . No need to d we l l o n t h e e m barras s m e n t of t h e rece nt e l ect i o n , i n w h i c h l i b e ra l s st rove manfu l ly ( a n d woman f u l ly) to o u t d o t h e i r o p p o n ents' d evot i o n to Kinder, Kiiche, Kirche a n d tal ked t h e m s e l ves i n to a r i c h l y deserved d e bac l e . N o s u r p r i se t h e n t h at t h e " s c i e n t i f i c soc ial i sts" a n d ot h e r l eft f l otsam g ot cau g ht off ( van ) g uard by t h e N ew R i g h t a n d its m i l i tant , soc i a l c o n s e rvat i s m . As u s u a l t h e i n te l l i g e ntsia, s e l f­ appo i nted servants of h i sto ry , fa i l ed to l earn f ro m i t a n d s o o utsm arted i t s e l f . T h e l eft i sts w e r e so busy st u d y i n g L i berat i o n T h eo l og y t hat t h ey forget t h at - f ro m F ranco's C a r l i st s h o c k troops i n 1 936 t o K h o m e i n i's R evo l u t i o nary G uards today always a n d eve ryw h e re t h e re l i g i o u s fanat i cs have been t h e ( t h roat-) c u tt i n g e d g e of react i o n . A s t e l eo l og ues, t h e l i b e ra l s , Marxi sts a n d a n a rc h i sts t h o u g h t t h at al l t h e t rap p i n g s of m o d e r n ity - t ec h n o l ogy, d e m o c racy, h u m an i s m , etc. -ca m e as a set. To t h e i r bewi l d e r m e nt, the N e w R i g h t has m o u nted a mass ive h i g h -tec h p ro paga n d a cam p ai g n (an t i c i pated , t o b e s u re , b y G o e b b e l s ) s u ccessf u l l y p r o m ot i n g t h e m ost a bs u rd a n d v i c i o u s m i sog y n ist, sad i s t i c an d i rrat i o na l n o t i o n s . T h ey n eve r d i d u n d e rstan d , to t h e i r cost, w h at Ad o r n o and H o r k h e i m e r a n d M a rc u se h a d t r i ed to te l l t h e m abo u t t h e d i ffe re nce betwee n i n stru m e n tal a n d s u bstantive rat i o nal ity. B u t i n stead o f ret h i n k i n g t h e i r pos i t i v i st p rej u d i ces, l eft i sts q u i b b l e over co nsti t u t i o nal tec h n i cal i t i es w h i c h t h ey t h e mselves h ave done so m u c h to re l at i v i ze . L i ke the Cold War l i b e ra l s of the SO's a n d 60's, t h ey' l l never o u t-flag wave the r i g h t n o m atter h ow many of t h e i r val u es t h ey betray.

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T h e sec ret s o u rc e of t h e l eft's i m poten ce i n t h e face of t h e u ps u rg e of t h e rec rud escent r i g h t i s t h i s : t h ey h ave t o o m u c h i n c o m m o n . A left i st i s s o m e o n e w h o s hoots h i m s e l f i n t h e foot o n cJ e h e g ets i t out of h i s m o u t h . T h e hard r i g h t acc u ses t h e l eft of i m pos i n g its "sec u lar h u m an i st" val u es in t h e p u b l i c s c h o o l s a n d e l se w h e re w h i l e fe i g n i n g n e ut ral ity. O bv i o u s l y t h e ri g ht i s - w h at else? - r i g h t . N o w t h e m eat- a n d B i b l e-beate rs f i g u re i t ' s their t u r n to rew rite t h e sc ri pt to s u it t h e i r own anted i l u v i an tastes . The l i b e rals p rete n d t h at evo l u ti o n i s m i s "sc i e n ce" w h i le c reat i o n i s m is "theology," a f i n e d i st i n ct i o n at best. In its origin, o bv i o u s l y c reat i o n i s m i s C h r i st i an . B u t i n its o ri g i n , s o i s evo l u ti o n i s m , a scarcely sec u larized t ran s u bsta n t i at i o n of t h e t ransce n d e n t m i l l e n n i a! esse nce of C h ristian ity, t h e h i st o r i ca l d i m e n s i o n w h i c h d i sti n g u i s hes i t fro m oth e r fai t h s . S o w h at? S u re l y t h e kook ri g ht i s onto s o m et h i n g fo r wo n de r i n g w h y b i rth-control t rai n i n g belongs in c o m p u l s o ry p u b l i c schools b u t p raye r d oesn't. I t i s poss i b l e to take a p r i n c i p l ed sta n d agai n st c o m p u l s o ry s c h o o l i ng , i. e. , state-enfo rced t h o u g h t c o n t ro l , a n d t h u s o utflan k Bab b i t ry altoget h e r. B u t t h e l eft i sts an d l i b e rals d o n ot h i n g o f t h e s o rt . M ax St i rn e r's re p roac h i s st i l l te l l i n g : " M a n , yo u r h ead i s hau nte d ; you have w h e e l s i n you r h ead ! " R e l i g i o n al ways re p resents t h e permanent poss i b i l i ty of rep ress i o n . G o d , t h e u l t i mate pat riarch a n d abs o l ute aut h o rity, strives to c o n so l i date H i s d i ctat o rs h i p " o n Earth as it i s in H eave n . " B u t He has h e l p , n ot o n ly f r o m t h e c o n sc i o u s l y C h ristian c ru d , b u t f ro m eve ry o n e w h o c ovets H i s p o w e r a n d e m u l ates H i s m et h o d s . Every va n g u a rd gan g i s a J es u i t retread . Every h i e ra rc h y m i crocos m i zes t h e G reat C ha i n of B e i n g . A l l " m i l itants" be l o n g t o t h e C h u rc h M i l itant. T h e left has n ever j ett i s o n e d the h u man i st m o ral i s m i t took from C h rist i a n i ty. From R o u sseau to len i n (to say n ot h i n g of smal l fry from B o b Ava k i an to Mario C u o m o ) i t p reac hes g u i lt , re n u n c i ati o n , m arty rd o m , sel f-efface m e n t , o b e d i e n c e , work i n a word, re l i g i o n . M o ral i s m means t h e sac r i f i c e of real , tan g i b l e i n d i v i d uals a n d t h e i r face-to-face pas s i o nal g ro u ps to abstract extri n s i c "causes" and pse u do-co m m u n i t i es (the State, t h e Party, t h e P ro l etariat , Ia Raza, S i sterhood , etc. ad n auseum ) .

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I f G od i s d ead , m o ra l i s m i s t h e D o o m sday M a c h i n e w h i c h H e s p i tef u l l y beq u eat h e d u s . T h e c rav i n g f o r c o m m u n ity, fo r t h e s e n sat i o n o f a s e n s i b i l ity transce n d i n g the steri l e , c a l c u l at i n g reaso n of the e n g i n e e rs a n d b o o k keepers a n d p l a n n e rs ca n n ot be sati ated by a d e m e a n i n g re l i g i osity w h i c h fa l ls s h o rt of f u l l - b l oo d e d p ract i c a l reaso n ; b u t o n l y b y a s u r rat i o n a l l e a p w h i c h i n c l u des b u t exceeds i t . " Reas o n i s t h e bou n d o r o u tward c i rc u m feren ce of E n e rgy" ( B l a ke) , not the u l t i m ate cop-l i ke Categ o r i c a l I m pe rative. Revers i n g F re u d : W h e re E g o was, ld w i l l be too. A lso to be avo i d e d , t h o u g h , a re t h e n e rvo u s artifi c i a l sac ri l eges o f t h e s u r rea l i st acad e m i cs . A s R ao u l V a n e i g e m o bse rved , " p i ss i n g o n t h e a l t a r i s sti l l a w a y of pay i n g h o m ag e to t h e C h u rc h . " Above a l l , u n d e r n o c i rc u m sta nces co m m i t a n act of A rt. N e i t h e r sac r i f i c i a l i s m , nor a n y e m pty " i n d i v i d u a l i s m " means a nyt h i n g to t h e free ly i n (te r) d e pe n d e n t soc i a l i n d i v i d u a l s who d i sda i n t h e system a l o n g w i t h its f r i en d l y e n e m i es . The i d e o l o g i ca l l y possessed , l eft a n d right, h ave a l ways stood in o u r way - n ot o n e a n ot h e r: w e a l l k n ow w e want each o t h e r . N ot j u st re l i g i o u s c r a n k s m e d d l i ng i n p o l i t i c s , b u t religion a n d politics t h e m s e l ves pose t h e p e r m a n e n t p ro b l e m o f w h at G i b b o n cal led t h e ete r n a l a l l i a n ce of T h ro n e a n d A l tar, t h e H o l y A l l i a n ce o f a l l a u t h o r i t i es a n d a u t h o ritari a n s . Separat i o n h as p roved to be a l i beral m i ra g e . T h e o n l y rea l a l t e r n at i ve to t h eo c racy i s the abolition of c h u rc h and state a l i ke - because t h ey are a l i ke. Let u s p rey! ( 1 982 , 1 985)

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A BUNC H ABALONE T h e D i a b l o Canyon d e b a c l e s o u n ded t h e death - k n e l l of t h e official ant i - n u c l ea r m ove m e n t . A b a l o n e A l l i an ce h i e rarchs -

excuse me, "spo kesperso n s " a n d "fac i l itato rs" - c o m p l a i n t h at t h e b l ockade was t r i v i a l ized i n to a m e d i a h a ppen i n g . S u r p r i s e , s u rp rise! W h at d i d t h e a n t i - n u c l ea r top b rass p l ot for yea rs to p ro d u ce at D i a b l o i f n ot a s pectac l e? Abalone's p u rpose was n ever to p h ys i c a l l y i nt e rfere w i t h p l a n t o pe rat i o n s b u t to be p h ot o g ra p h ed a p peari n g to t ry t o . D i d n ' t i t k n ow t h at i n H o l l ywood t h e d i recto r, n ot t h e actors, ca l l s t h e s h ots? A ba l o n e stag ed a h i g h ly-hyped set- p i ece pse u do­ confrontat i o n w i t h n o possi b l e p u rpose b u t m a n i p u l at i n g the med i a .