Some Quotable Quotes for Mathematics and Mathematical Statistics

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Some Quotable Quotes for Statistics J. E. H. Shaw April 6, 2006 Abstract Well—mainly for statistics. This is a collection of over 2,000 quotations from the famous, (e.g., Hippocrates: ‘Declare the past, diagnose the present, foretell the future’), the infamous (e.g., Stalin: ‘One death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic’), and the cruelly neglected (modesty forbids. . . ). Such quotes help me to: • appeal to a higher authority (or simply to pass the buck), • liven up lecture notes (or any other equally bald and unconvincing narratives), • encourage lateral thinking (or indeed any thinking), and/or • be cute. I have been gathering these quotations for over twenty years, and am well aware that my personal collection needs rationalising and tidying! In particular, more detailed attributions with sources would be very welcome (but please no ‘I vaguely remember that the mth quote on page n was originally said by Winston Churchill/Benjamin Franklin/Groucho Marx/Dorothy Parker/Bertrand Russell/George Bernard Shaw/Mark Twain/Oscar Wilde/Steve Wright’.) If you use this collection substantially in any publication, then please give a reference to it, in the form: J.E.H. Shaw (2006). Some Quotable Quotes for Statistics. Downloadable from http://www.ewartshaw.co.uk/ Particular thanks to Peter Lee for tracking down ‘. . . damn quotes. . . ’ (see Courtney, Leonard Henry): http://www.york.ac.uk/depts/maths/histstat/courtney.htm. Other quote collections are given by Sahai (1979), Bibby (1983), Mackay (1977, 1991), and Gaither & Cavazos-Gaither (1996). Enjoy. c 1997–2006 by Ewart Shaw. Copyright

If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders. Harold Abelson First, we want to establish the idea that a computer language is not just a way of getting a computer to perform operations but rather that it is a novel formal medium for expressing ideas about methodology. Thus, programs must be written for people to read, and only incidentally for machines to execute. Harold Abelson and Gerald Jay Sussman The Structure and Interpretation of Computer Programs (1984) A memorandum is written not to inform the reader but to protect the writer. Dean Gooderham Acheson quoted in the ‘Wall St. Journal’, 8–Sept–1977 Always remember that the future comes one day at a time. Dean Gooderham Acheson Anybody can win unless there happens to be a second entry. George Ada

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If you think it’s expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur. Red Adair on his fee for extinguishing oil well fires after the Gulf War Here we have a game that combines the charm of a Pentagon briefing with the excitement of double-entry bookkeeping. Cecil Adams The Straight Dope (1996) ‘What’s the Deal with Dungeons and Dragons?’ The following examples may help to clarify the difference between the new and old math. 1960: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of this price. What is his profit? 1970 (Traditional math): A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. What is his profit? 1975 (New Math): A logger exchanges a set L of lumber for a set M of money. The cardinality of set M is 100 and each element is worth $1. (a) make 100 dots representing the elements of the set M (b) The set C representing costs of production contains 20 fewer points than set M. Represent the set C as a subset of the set M. (c) What is the cardinality of the set P of profits? 1990 (Dumbed-down math): A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Underline the number 20. 1997 (Whole Math): By cutting down a forest full of beautiful trees, a logger makes $20. (a) What do you think of this way of making money? (b) How did the forest birds and squirrels feel? (c) Draw a picture of the forest as you’d like it to look. Cecil Adams The Straight Dope (1997), ‘What exactly was the “new math”?’ Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so. Douglas Noel Adams The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (1979) . . . he also had a device which looked rather like a largish electronic calculator. This had about a hundred tiny flat press buttons and a screen about four inches square on which any one of a million ‘pages’ could be summoned at a moment’s notice. Douglas Noel Adams The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (1979) ‘You can’t throw us into space,’ yelled Ford, ‘we’re trying to write a book.’ Douglas Noel Adams The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (1979) We are now cruising at a level of two to the power of twenty-five thousand to one against and falling, and we will be restoring normality just as soon as we are sure what is normal anyway. Thank You. Douglas Noel Adams The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (1979) ‘. . . I repeat we have normality.’ She turned her microphone off—then turned it back on, with a slight smile and continued: ‘Anything you still can’t cope with is therefore your own problem.’ Douglas Noel Adams The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (1979) ‘Tricia McMillan?’ he said. ‘What are you doing here?’ ‘Same as you,’ she said, ‘I hitched a lift. After all with a degree in Maths and another in astrophysics what else was there to do? It was either that or the dole queue again on Monday.’ Douglas Noel Adams The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (1979)

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‘These things will become clear to you,’ said the old man gently, ‘at least,’ he added with slight doubt in his voice, ‘clearer than they are at the moment.’ Douglas Noel Adams The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (1979) ‘Look,’ said Arthur, ‘would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?’ Douglas Noel Adams The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (1979) ‘You just let the machines get on with the adding up,’ warned Majikthise, ‘and we’ll take care of the eternal verities thank you very much. You want to check your legal position you do mate. Under law the Quest for Ultimate Truth is quite clearly the inalienable prerogative of your working thinkers. Any bloody machine goes and actually finds it and we’re straight out of a job aren’t we? I mean what’s the use of our sitting up half the night arguing that there may or may not be a God if this machine only goes and gives you his bleeding phone number the next morning?’ ‘That’s right,’ shouted Vroomfondel, ‘we demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!’ Douglas Noel Adams The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (1979) ‘I checked it very thoroughly,’ said the computer, ‘and that quite definitely is the answer. I think the problem, to be quite honest with you, is that you’ve never actually known what the question is.’ Douglas Noel Adams The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (1979) ‘Your arrival on the planet has caused considerable excitement. It has already been hailed, so I gather, as the third most improbable event in the history of the Universe.’ ‘What were the first two?’ ‘Oh, probably just coincidences.’ Douglas Noel Adams The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (1979) In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move. Douglas Noel Adams The Restaurant at the End of the Universe (1980) The Guide is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate. Douglas Noel Adams The Restaurant at the End of the Universe (1980) In an Infinite Universe anything can happen,’ said Ford, ‘Even survival. Strange but true.’ Douglas Noel Adams The Restaurant at the End of the Universe (1980) I say what it occurs to me to say when I think I hear people say things. More I cannot say. Douglas Noel Adams The Restaurant at the End of the Universe (1980) ‘I only decide about my Universe,’ continued the man quietly, ‘My Universe is my eyes and my ears. Anything else is hearsay.’ Douglas Noel Adams The Restaurant at the End of the Universe (1980) ‘Totally mad,’ he said, ‘utter nonsense. But we’ll do it because it’s brilliant nonsense.’ Douglas Noel Adams The Restaurant at the End of the Universe (1980)

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‘Would you like me to quote you some statistics?’ ‘Er, well. . . ’ ‘Please, I would like to. They, too, are quite sensationally dull.’ Douglas Noel Adams Life, the Universe, and Everything (1982) The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, in a moment of reasoned lucidity which is almost unique among its pages, says of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation products that “It is very easy to be blinded to the essential uselessness of them by the sense of achievement you get from getting them to work at all. In other words—and this is the rock-solid principle on which the whole of the Corporation’s galaxywide success is founded—their fundamental design flaws are completely hidden by their superficial design flaws.” Douglas Noel Adams So Long, and Thanks for all the Fish (1984) I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be. Douglas Noel Adams The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul (1988) The most misleading assumptions are the ones you don’t even know you’re making. Douglas Noel Adams Last Chance to See. . . (1990) Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. Douglas Noel Adams Last Chance to See. . . (1990) A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. Douglas Noel Adams Mostly Harmless (1992) The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at and repair. Douglas Noel Adams Mostly Harmless (1992) I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by. Douglas Noel Adams The Salmon of Doubt (2001) First we thought the PC was a calculator. Then we found out how to turn numbers into letters with ASCII—and we thought it was a typewriter. Then we discovered graphics, and we thought it was a television. With the World Wide Web, we’ve realized it’s a brochure. Douglas Noel Adams I find that a great part of the information I have was acquired by looking up something and finding something else on the way. Franklin P. Adams Mathematicians practice absolute freedom. Henry Brooks Adams A Letter to American Teachers of History (1910) Chaos often breeds life, when order breeds habit. Henry Brooks Adams The Education of Henry Adams (1918)

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Nothing in education is so astonishing as the amount of ignorance it accumulates in the form of inert facts. Henry Brooks Adams The Education of Henry Adams (1918) I must study politics and war that my sons may have liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. My sons ought to study mathematics and philosophy, geography, natural history, naval architecture, navigation, commerce, and agriculture, in order to give their children a right to study painting, poetry, music, architecture, statuary, tapestry, and porcelain. John Adams Letter to Abigail Adams, 12–May–1780 wally: I’d say it’s easier to ask forgiveness than to ask permission. Scott Adams Dilbert 1994 boss: I can assure you that the value of the average employee will continue to increase. dilbert: Is that because there will be less of us, doing more work? —I’m right, aren’t I? boss: Except for the “us” part. Scott Adams Dilbert 1994 dogbert: The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers. Scott Adams Dilbert 1994 boss: I saw the code for your computer program yesterday. It looked easy. It’s just a bunch of typing. And half of the words were spelt wrong. And don’t get me started on your over-use of colons. Scott Adams Dilbert 1994 dilbert: I oppose putting career criminals in jail for life. There’s no evidence that longer sentence reduce crime. dogbert: So your theory is that when career criminals are in jail, other peoplr commit more crimes to keep the average up. . . dilbert: Statistics don’t lie, dogbert. dogbert: Unless bad statistics went to jail—then the others would lie. Scott Adams Dilbert 1994 If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it’s done. Scott Adams Dilbert Newsletter #3 (1994) dogbert: I can predict the future by assuming that money and male hormones are the driving forces for new technology. Scott Adams Dilbert 1994 dilbert: The project status is “yellow light.’ In user tests we found that the product locks up every twelve seconds. The interface is incomprehensible and the manual is pure fiction. I think it’s clear what we need to do. boss: Ship it and hope somebody writes a “Dummies” book about it? Scott Adams Dilbert 1995

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boss: It has come to my attention that 40% of your sick days are on Fridays and Mondays. This is unacceptable. Scott Adams Dilbert 1996 ratbert: Hey look! It’s not my fault; it’s some guy named “General Protection.” Scott Adams Dilbert 1996 dilbert: Sometimes I think the web is a big plot to keep people like me away from normal society. Scott Adams Dilbert 1997 dogbert: My invention can detect human stupidity. It has a very simple interface. All I do is point it at people. dilbert: Then what does it do? dogbert: Why would it need to do anything else? Scott Adams Dilbert 1997 tina: This article says men are paid 25% more than women. How do you explain that? wally: Actually, It says women make 75c for every dollar that men make. That’s 33% more for men. —I suppose there’s almost no chance you’ll praise me for my math skills right now. Scott Adams Dilbert 1998 wally: Nothing is more dangerous than a boss with a spreadsheet. Scott Adams Dilbert 1998 dilbert: I did the analysis using your bad assumptions. Then I applied your flawed logic and arrived at your predetermined answer. Shall I begin disillusioning the team? boss: This needs a pie chart. Scott Adams Dilbert 2000 dilbert: When did ignorance become a point of view? Scott Adams Dilbert 2000 dogbert: You’ve got to implement a six sigma program or else you’re doomed. boss: Aren’t you the same consultant who sold us the worthless TQM program a few years ago? dogbert: I assure you that this program has a totally, totally different name. boss: When can we start? Scott Adams Dilbert 2001 dilbert: Maybe I should become a teacher so I can educate the leaders of tomorrow. dogbert: Maybe you should educate the morons of tomorrow so they’ll stop believing the leaders of tomorrow. dilbert: Maybe I’ll just eat this donut and go to work. dogbert: Do you have any more dreams I can crush? Scott Adams Dilbert 2001

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accounting troll 1: Over here we have our random number generator. troll 2: Nine nine nine nine nine nine. dilbert: Are you sure that’s random? troll 1: That’s the problem with randomness: you can never be sure. Scott Adams Dilbert 2001 dilbert: I’ll be happy to make these unnecessary changes to this irrelevant document. Scott Adams Dilbert Large corporations welcome innovation and individualism in the same way the dinosaurs welcomed large meteors. Scott Adams Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience. Scott Adams I don’t have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem. Scott Adams There are many methods for predicting the future. For example, you can read horoscopes, tea leaves, tarot cards, or crystal balls. Collectively, these methods are known as ‘nutty methods’. Scott Adams Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep. Scott Adams Basic research is like shooting an arrow in the air and, where it lands, painting a target. Homer Adkins Nature 312:212 (1984) The mathematical life of a mathematician is short. Work rarely improves after the age of twenty-five or thirty. If little has been accomplished by then, little will ever be accomplished. Alfred Adler ‘Mathematics and Creativity’, New Yorker Magazine 19–Feb–1972 Each generation has its few great mathematicians, and mathematics would not even notice the absence of the others. They are useful as teachers, and their research harms no one, but it is of no importance at all. A mathematician is great or he is nothing. Alfred Adler ‘Mathematics and Creativity’, New Yorker Magazine 19–Feb–1972 In the company of friends, writers can discuss their books, economists the state of the economy, lawyers their latest cases, and businessmen their latest acquisitions, but mathematicians cannot discuss their mathematics at all. And the more profound their work, the less understandable it is. Alfred Adler ‘Mathematics and Creativity’, New Yorker Magazine 19–Feb–1972 You only find complete unanimity in a cemetary. Abel Aganbegyan in ‘the Guardian’, 27–June–1987 Don’t worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you’ll have to ram them down people’s throats. Howard Hathaway Aiken

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Rien n’est plus dangereux qu’une id´ee, quand on n’a qu’une id´ee. (Nothing is more dangerous than an idea, when you have only one idea.) ´ Alain (Emile-Auguste Chartier) Propos sur la religion (1938) no. 74 There are only two kinds of scholars; those who love ideas and those who hate them. ´ Alain (Emile-Auguste Chartier) You gotta have a swine to show you where the truffles are. Edward Albee Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf ? (1962) Good teaching is more a giving of right questions than a giving of right answers. Josef Albers A scholar then asked: Could you advise me of a proper vocation, Master? He then said: Some men can earn their keep with the power of their minds. Others must use their backs and hands. This is the same in nature as it is with man. Some animals acquire their food easily, such as rabbits, horses and elephants. Other animals must struggle for their food, like flamingos, moles, and ants. So you see, the nature of the vocation must fit the individual. But I have no abilities, desires, or talents, Master, the man sobbed. Have you thought of becoming a stockbroker? the Master queried. Kehlog Albran The Profit (1973) A priest asked: What is Fate, Master? And he answered: It is that which gives a beast of burden its reason for existence. It is that which men in former times had to bear upon their backs. It is that which has caused nations to build byways from City to City upon which carts and coaches pass, and alongside which inns have come to be built to stave off Hunger, Thirst and Weariness. It is that which has caused great fleets of ships to ply the Seven Seas wherever the wind blows. And that is Fate? said the priest. Fate. . . I thought you said Freight, responded the Master. That’s all right, said the priest. I wanted to know what Freight was too. Kehlog Albran The Profit (1973) Even the best of friends cannot attend each others’ funeral. Kehlog Albran The Profit (1973) I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer. Kehlog Albran The Profit (1973) z: Don’t worry, I know almost exactly what I’m doing. Todd Alcott, Chris Weitz & Paul Weitz Antz (film, 1998) Tradition is what you resort to when you don’t have the time or the money to do it right. Kurt Herbert Alder

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Algebra is generous; she often gives more than is asked of her. Jean Le Rond d’Alembert quoted in D. MacHale, Comic Sections (1993) [on studying the Ptolemaic system]: If the Lord Almighty had consulted me before embarking upon creation, I should have recommended something simpler. Alfonso X (the Wise) The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life. Muhammad Ali Playboy (November 1975) More than any time in history, mankind now faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly. Woody Allen (Allen Stewart Konigsberg) Side Effects (1980) I was thrown out of NYU my freshman year for cheating on my metaphysics final, you know. I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. Woody Allen (Allen Stewart Konigsberg) Annie Hall (1977) Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered? Woody Allen (Allen Stewart Konigsberg) I am at two with nature. Woody Allen (Allen Stewart Konigsberg) If you can’t annoy somebody with what you write, I think there’s little point in writing. Kingsley Amis quoted in the ‘Radio Times’, 1–May–1971 If it’s stupid but works, it isn’t stupid. Amphibious Warfare Review Spring 1989 The only normal people are the ones you don’t know very well. Joe Ancis There are two major products of Berkeley, CA – LSD and UNIX. We don’t believe this to be strictly by coincidence. Jeremy S. Anderson comp.os.os2, 14–Dec–1989 I have yet to see any problem, however complicated, which, when you looked at it the right way, did not become still more complicated. Poul Anderson New Scientist, 25–Sept–1969 My knowledge of the human psyche is as yet imperfect. Certain areas won’t yield to computation. Poul Anderson Goat Song (1972) If one is lucky, a solitary fantasy can totally transform one million realities. Maya Angelou Mathematics is not a careful march down a well-cleared highway, but a journey into a strange wilderness, where the explorers often get lost. Rigour should be a signal to the historian that the maps have been made, and the real explorers have gone elsewhere. William S. Anglin ‘Mathematics and History’, Mathematical Intelligencer v. 14 (1992), no. 4

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Academic staff rather enjoy coming to conclusions, but they don’t like coming to decisions at all. Lord Annan the Observer, Sayings of the Week, 6–Feb–1981 Multiplication is vexation, Division is as bad; The Rule of three doth puzzle me, and Practice drives me mad. Anon. Elizabethan Manuscript (1570) An engineer thinks that his equations are an approximation to reality. A physicist thinks reality is an approximation to his equations. A mathematician doesn’t care. Anon. Among economists, the real world is often a special case. Anon. Every program has at least one bug and can be shortened by at least one instruction—from which, by induction, one can deduce that every program can be reduced to one instruction which doesn’t work. Anon. A couple of months in the lab. can often save a couple of hours in the library. Anon. lim 3 = 8

ω→∞

Anon. I pointed at the moon and some fool looked at my finger. Anon. Zen saying There is one thing stronger than all the armies in the world; and that is an idea whose time has come. Anon. (paraphrasing Victor Hugo) in the ‘Nation’ 15–Apr–1943 Confidence: The feeling you have before you understand the situation. Anon. Z

√ 3

3

z 2 dz × cos

1



3π 9

 = log


√ 3 e

(The integral z squared dz from one to the cube root of three, times the cosine of three pi over nine is the log of the cube root of e.)

Anon. Beware the software rot, my son! The faults that bite, the jobs that thrash. Beware the broken pipe, and shun The frumious system crash. Anon. Statistics means never having to say you’re certain. Anon. I’d like to help you out. Which way did you come in? Anon.

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C: a language that combines all the elegance and power of assembly language with all the readability and maintainability of assembly language. Anon. in Jargon File 2.9.10 (1992), eds. Eric S. Raymond & Guy L. Steele Hanlon’s Razor: . . . “Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.” Anon. in Jargon File 2.9.10 (1992), eds. Eric S. Raymond & Guy L. Steele Testicle–n., a humorous question on an exam. Anon. The universe is simple; it’s the explanation that’s complex. Anon. Should “anal retentive” have a hyphen? Anon. The point is not to be in the citation index, but in the subject index. Anon. Sometimes, the road is less traveled for a reason. Anon. 0110 0110 0110—The binary number of the Beast. Anon. If you can’t beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing. Anon. What boots up must come down. Anon. The trouble with being punctual is that people think you have nothing more important to do. Anon. The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was. Anon. Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened. Anon. The sooner I fall behind, the more time I have to catch up. Anon. Did you hear about Cauchy’s dog?—left a residue at every pole. Anon. Did you hear about the scientist who had twins? She baptized one and kept the other as a control. Anon. Python is executable pseudocode. Perl is executable line noise. Anon. There is no right way to do the wrong thing. Anon. If at first you don’t succeed, call it version 1.0. Anon.

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Silly is a state of mind; Stupid is a way of life. Anon. Q. Why do Computer Scientists confuse Halloween and Christmas? A. Because Oct. 31 = Dec. 25. Anon. Q. How many graduate students does it take to change a light bulb? A. Two, and a professor to take credit. Anon. Das computenmachine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen, und poppencorken mit spittzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in das pokets, relaxen und watch das blinkenlights. Anon. A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray, and the blinking red light. Anon. Zenophobia: the irrational fear of convergent sequences. Anon. Skill is successfully walking a tightrope over Niagara Falls. Intelligence is not trying. Anon. All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand. Anon. This is a one line proof. . . if we start sufficiently far to the left. Anon. The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on forecasters. Anon. When you do not know what you are doing, do it neatly. Anon. Hit any user to continue. Anon. All machines are amplifiers. Anon. TOP TEN EXCUSES FOR NOT DOING THE MATH HOMEWORK 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9.

I accidentally divided by zero and my paper burst into flames. Isaac Newton’s birthday. I could only get arbitrarily close to my textbook. I couldn’t actually reach it. I have the proof, but there isn’t room to write it in this margin. I was watching the World Series and got tied up trying to prove that it converged. I have a solar powered calculator and it was cloudy. I locked the paper in my trunk but a four-dimensional dog got in and ate it. I couldn’t figure out whether i am the square of negative one or i is the square root of negative one. I took time out to snack on a doughnut and a cup of coffee. I spent the rest of the night trying to figure which one to dunk. 10. I could have sworn I put the homework inside a Klein bottle, but this morning I couldn’t find it. Anon.

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As every Engineer knows: Work = Power. Time Since Knowledge = Power and Time = Money, we have: Work = Knowledge. Money Solving for Money, we get: Work = Money. Knowledge Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of Work done. Conclusion: The less you know, the more you make. Anon. i have a vision but i am misunderstood do you like my beard? Anon. Alleged unabomber’s haiku first professor: I have a counterexample to that theorem. second professor: That’s OK, I have two proofs. Anon. “You are old,” said the youth, “and I’m told by my peers That your lectures bore people to death. Yet you talk at one hundred conventions per year— Don’t you think that you should save your breath?’ Anon. Old Statisticians never die—they just get broken down by age and sex. Anon. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. Anon. Teachers open the door. You enter by youself. Anon. The government are very keen on amassing statistics. They collect them, add them, raise them to the nth power, take the cube root and prepare wonderful diagrams. But you must never forget that every one of these figures comes in the first instance from the village watchman, who just puts down what he damn pleases. Anonymous English Judge (Quoted by Sir Josiah Stamp in ‘Some Economic Matters in Modern Life’ (1929) I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top. Anonymous English Professor, Ohio University I’ve gone to hundreds of fortune-tellers’ parlors, and have been told thousands of things, but nobody ever told me I was a policewoman getting ready to arrest her. Anonymous New York City Detective Sequential analysis is a hoax. F. J. Anscombe

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To anyone sympathetic with the current neo-Bernoullian neo-Bayesian Ramseyesque Finettist Savageous movement in statistics, the subject of testing goodness of fit is something of an embarrassment. F. J. Anscombe J. R. S. S. (1963) Credo ut intelligam. (I believe so that I may understand.) Saint Anselm 12th Century The most useful piece of learning for the uses of life is to unlearn what is untrue. Antisthenes During a mathematicians’ dinner in Kingston, Canada, in 1979, the conversation turned to Fermats last theorem, and Enrico Bombieri proposed a problem: to show that the equation       x y z + = where n ≥ 3 n n n has no nontrivial solution. Ap´ery left the table and came back at breakfast with the solution n = 3, x = 10, y = 16, z = 17. Bombiery replied stiffly, “I said nontrivial.” ´ry Franc ¸ ois Ape Mathematical Intelligencer 18(2):54–61 (1996) O ye men, are not women strong? great is the earth, high is the heaven, swift is the sun in his course, for he compasseth the heavens round about, and fetcheth his course again to his own place in one day. Is he not great that maketh these things? therefore great is the truth, and stronger than all things. All the earth crieth upon the truth, and the heaven blesseth it: all works shake and tremble at it, and with it is no unrighteous thing. Wine is wicked, the king is wicked, women are wicked, all the children of men are wicked, and such are all their wicked works; and there is no truth in them; in their unrighteousness also they shall perish. As for the truth, it endureth, and is always strong; it liveth and conquereth for evermore. With her there is no accepting of persons or rewards; but she doeth the things that are just, and refraineth from all unjust and wicked things; and all men do well like of her works. Neither in her judgment is any unrighteousness; and she is the strength, kingdom, power, and majesty, of all ages. Blessed be the God of truth. Apochrypha 1 Esdras 4:37–40 What is past I know, but what is for to come I know not. And he said unto me, Stand up upon the right side, and I shall expound the similitude unto thee. Apochrypha 2 Esdras 4:46–47 Wisdom reacheth from one end to another mightily: and sweetly doth she order all things. Apochrypha Wisdom 8:1 If riches be a possession to be desired in this life; what is richer than wisdom, that worketh all things? Apochrypha Wisdom 8:5 Who can number the sand of the sea, and the drops of rain, and the days of eternity? Apochrypha Ecclesiasticus 1:2

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Whatsoever thou takest in hand, remember the end, and thou shalt never do amiss. Apochrypha Ecclesiasticus 7:36 He that useth many words shall be abhorred; and he that taketh to himself authority therein shall be hated. Apochrypha Ecclesiasticus 20:8 Wisdom that is hid, and treasure that is hoarded up, what profit is in them both? Apochrypha Ecclesiasticus 20:30 Do nothing without advice; and when thou hast once done, repent not. Apochrypha Ecclesiasticus 32:19 The wisdom of a learned man cometh by opportunity of leisure: and he that hath little business shall become wise. Apochrypha Ecclesiasticus 38:24 . . . and Steve, who joined Apollo as an engineer, was promoted to trainee salesman in April, 1985, . . . Apollo UK in ‘WINDOW ON domain’ number 5, page 2 The light of faith makes us see what we believe. Saint Thomas Aquinas Whether God Exists (1270) Q.109, art.2 Practical sciences proceed by building up; theoretical science by resolving into components. Saint Thomas Aquinas Commentary on the Ethics (1271) I, 3 Quia parvus error in principio magnus est in fine. . . (A small error at the outset can lead to great errors in the final conclusions. . . ) Saint Thomas Aquinas De Ente et Essentia Three things are necessary for the salvation of man: to know what he ought to believe; to know what he ought to desire; and to know what he ought to do. Saint Thomas Aquinas The calculus of probabilities, when confined within just limits, ought to interest, in an equal degree, the mathematician, the experimentalist, and the statesman. . . . It is under its influence that lotteries and other shameful snares cunningly laid for avarice and ignorance have definitely disappeared. Franc ¸ ois Arago Eulogy on Laplace (1874) The Reader may here observe the Force of Numbers, which can be successfully applied, even to those things, which one would imagine are subject to no Rules. There are very few things which we know, which are not capable of being reduc’d to a Mathematical Reasoning; and when they cannot it’s a sign our knowledge of them is very small and confus’d; and when a Mathematical Reasoning can be had it’s as great a folly to make use of any other, as to grope for a thing in the dark, when you have a Candle standing by you. John Arbuthnot Of the Laws of Chance (1692)

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Every thought is an afterthought. Hanna Arendte speech, 28–Nov–1977 The same ideas, one must believe, recur in men’s minds not once or twice but again and again. Aristotle On The Heavens, part 3, transl. J. L. Stocks. Such an event is probable in Agathon’s sense of the word: ‘it is probable,’ he says, ‘that many things should happen contrary to probability.’ Aristotle Poetics, ch. 18 Accordingly, the poet should prefer probable impossibilities to improbable possibilities. Aristotle Poetics, ch. 24 The mathematical sciences particularly exhibit order, symmetry, and limitation; and these are the greatest forms of the beautiful. Aristotle Metaphysica, 3-1078b The whole is more than the sum of the parts. Aristotle Metaphysica, 10f-1045a That which we must learn to do, we learn by doing. Aristotle Nicomachean Ethics II . . . if the consequences are the same it is always better to assume the more limited antecedent, since in things of nature the limited, as being better, is sure to be found, wherever possible, rather than the unlimited. Aristotle Physics VIII There is the anecdote of Thales the Milesian and his financial device, which involves a principle of universal application, but is attributed to him on account of his reputation for wisdom. He was reproached for his poverty, which was supposed to show that philosophy was of no use. According to the story, he knew by his skill in the stars while it was yet winter that there would be a great harvest of olives in the coming year; so, having a little money, he gave deposits for the use of all the olive-presses in Chios and Miletus, which he hired at a low price because no one bid against him. When the harvest-time came, and many were wanted all at once and of a sudden, he let them out at any rate which he pleased, and made a quantity of money. Thus he showed the world that philosophers can easily be rich if they like, but that their ambition is of another sort. Aristotle Politics, Part XI (transl. Benjamin Jowett) To Thales the primary question was not what do we know, but how do we know it. Aristotle It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. Aristotle Those who educate children well are more to be honored than parents, for these only gave life, those the art of living well. Aristotle It is the mark of an instructed mind to rest assured with that degree of precision that the nature of the subject admits, and not to seek exactness when only an approximation of the truth is possible. Aristotle 16

The gods too are fond of a joke. Aristotle Statistics may be defined as the discipline concerned with the treatment of numerical data derived from groups of individuals. Peter Armitage Statistical Methods in Medical Research (1971) I don’t let my mouth say nothin’ my head can’t stand. Louis Armstrong Seeing consists of the grasping of structural features rather than the indiscriminate recording of detail. Rudolf Arnheim Marke all Mathematicall heades, which be onely and wholy bent to those sciences, how solitarie they be themselues, how vnfit to liue with others, & how vnapte to serue in the world. Roger Ascham The Scholemaster (1570) The product of an arithmetical computation is the answer to an equation; it is not the solution to a problem. G. O. Ashley . . . when people thought the Earth was flat, they were wrong. When people thought the Earth was spherical they were wrong. But if you think that thinking the Earth is spherical is just as wrong as thinking the Earth is flat, then your view is wronger than both of them put together. Isaac Asimov The Relativity of Wrong (1996) The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not “Eureka!” (I found it!) but “That’s funny. . . ”. Isaac Asimov I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them. Isaac Asimov If knowledge can create problems, it is not through ignorance that we can solve them. Isaac Asimov It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for subtlety. Isaac Asimov Elizabeth told me of an American girl who spoke scoffingly of the Ten Commandments: ‘They don’t tell you what you ought to do and only put ideas in your head’. Earl Asquith Letters to a Friend Thou shalt not do as the dean pleases, Thou shalt not write thy doctor’s thesis On education, Thou shalt not worship projects nor Shalt thou or thine bow down before Administration. Thou shalt not answer questionnaires Or quizzes upon world affairs, Nor with compliance Take any test. Thou shalt not sit with statisticians nor commit A social science. W. H. Auden Under Which Lyre (1946)

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How happy the lot of the mathematician. He is judged solely by his peers, and the standard is so high that no colleague or rival can ever win a reputation he does not deserve. W. H. Auden The Dyer’s Hand (1948) Computers are composed of nothing more than logic gates stretched out to the horizon in a vast numerical irrigation system. Stan Augarten State of the Art: A Photographic History of the Integrated Circuit (1985) Nisi credideritis, non intelligitis. (If you don’t believe it, you won’t understand it.) Saint Augustine of Hippo Del Libero Arbitrio The good Christian should beware of mathematicians, and all those who make empty prophecies. The danger already exists that the mathematicians have made a covenant with the devil to darken the spirit and to confine man in the bonds of Hell. Saint Augustine of Hippo Genesi ad Litteram, Book II, xviii, 37. If I am given a formula, and I am ignorant of its meaning, it cannot teach me anything, but if I already know it what does the formula teach me? Saint Augustine of Hippo De Magistro ch X, 23. The weaker the data available upon which to base one’s conclusion, the greater the precision which should be quoted in order to give the data authenticity. Norman R. Augustine If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment. Marcus Aurelius Meditations The danger from computers is not that they will eventually get as smart as men, but that we will meanwhile agree to meet them halfway. Bernard Avishai I wish to God these calculations had been executed by steam. Charles Babbage Comment (1821) Meeting Dr. Wollaston one morning in the shop of a bookseller, I proposed this question: If two volumes of hydrogen and one of oxygen are mixed together in a vessel, and if by mechanical pressure they can be so condensed as to become of the same specific gravity as water, will the gases under these circumstances unite and form water? “What do you think they will do?” said Dr. W. I replied, that I should rather expect they would unite. “I see no reason to suppose it,” said he. I then inquired whether he thought the experiment worth making. He answered, that he did not, for that he should think it would certainly not succeed. A few days after, I proposed the same question to Sir Humphry Davy. He at once said, “they will become water, of course;” and on my inquiring whether he thought the experiment worth making, he observed that it was a good experiment, but one which it was hardly necessary to make, as it must succeed. Charles Babbage Reflections on the Decline of Science in England, and on Some of Its Causes (1830)

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. . . the whole of the developments and operations of analysis are now capable of being executed by machinery. Charles Babbage Passages from the Life of a Philosopher (1864) As soon as an Analytical Engine exists, it will necessarily guide the future course of the science. Whenever any result is sought by its aid, the question will then arise—By what course of calculation can these results be arrived at by the machine in the shortest time? Charles Babbage Passages from the Life of a Philosopher (1864) ‘Every minute dies a man, / Every minute one is born’; I need hardly point out to you that this calculation would tend to keep the sum total of the world’s population in a state of perpetual equipoise, whereas it is a well-known fact that the said sum total is constantly on the increase. I would therefore take the liberty of suggesting that in the next edition of your excellent poem the erroneous calculation to which I refer should be corrected as follows: ‘Every moment dies a man / And one and a sixteenth is born.’ I may add that the exact figures are 1.067, but something must, of course, be conceded to the laws of metre. Charles Babbage Unpublished letter to Alfred, Lord Tennyson Errors using inadequate data are much less than those using no data at all. Charles Babbage You will be able to appreciate the influence of such an Engine on the future progress of science. I live in a country which is incapable of estimating it. Charles Babbage On two occasions I have been asked [by members of Parliament], ‘Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?’ I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question. Charles Babbage There is nothing to it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the instrument plays itself. Johann Sebastian Bach Isn’t it strange how much we know if only we ask ourselves instead of somebody else. Richard Bach Illusions (1977) Not being known doesn’t stop the truth from being true. Richard Bach There’s No Such Place As Far Away (1979) The only way to avoid all frightening choices is to leave society and become a hermit, and that is a frightening choice. Richard Bach One (1988) We know nothing until intuition agrees. Richard Bach Running From Safety (1994) A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the word you first thought of. Burt Bacharach Knowledge is power. Francis Bacon Meditationes Sacrae (1597), De Haeresibus

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If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts, he shall end in certainties. Francis Bacon The Advancement of Learning (1605), I v 8 They are ill discoverers that think there is no land, when they can see nothing but sea. Francis Bacon The Advancement of Learning (1605), I vii 5 And as for Mixed Mathematics, I may only make this prediction, that there cannot fail to be more kinds of them, as nature grows further disclosed. Francis Bacon The Advancement of Learning (1605), II The ill and unfit choice of words wonderfully obstructs the understanding. Francis Bacon Novum Organum (1620) Truth comes out of error more readily than out of confusion. Francis Bacon Novum Organum (1620) The men of experiment are like the ant, they only collect and use; the reasoners resemble spiders, who make cobwebs out of their own substance. But the bee takes the middle course: it gathers its material from the flowers of the garden and field, but transforms and digests it by a power of its own. Not unlike this is the true business of philosophy (science); for it neither relies solely or chiefly on the powers of the mind, nor does it take the matter which it gathers from natural history and mechanical experiments and lay up in the memory whole, as it finds it, but lays it up in the understanding altered and disgested. Therefore, from a closer and purer league between these two faculties, the experimental and the rational (such as has never been made), much may be hoped. Francis Bacon Novum Organum (1620) . . . he that will not apply new remedies must expect new evils; for time is the greatest innovator. Francis Bacon Essays (1625): Of Innovations Read not to contradict and confute, nor to believe and take for granted, nor to find talk and discourse, but to weigh and consider. Francis Bacon Essays (1625): Of Studies Reading maketh a full man; conference a ready man; and writing an exact man. Francis Bacon Essays (1625): Of Studies So if a man’s wit be wandering, let him study the mathematics; for in demonstrations, if his wit be called away never so little, he must begin again. Francis Bacon Essays (1625): Of Studies The master of superstition, is the people; and in all superstition, wise men follow fools; and arguments are fitted to practice, in a reversed order. Francis Bacon Essays (1625): Of Superstition If a man look sharply and attentively, he shall see Fortune; for though she is blind, she is not invisible. Francis Bacon Essays (1625): Of Fortune

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We must see whether the same clock with weights will go faster at the top of a mountain or at the bottom of a mine; it is probable, if the pull of the weights decreases on the mountain and increases in the mine, that the earth has real attraction. Francis Bacon quoted in Voltaire, Letters on England (1733), ‘On Chancellor Bacon’ The root of all superstition is that men observe when a thing hits but not when it misses. Francis Bacon In mathematics I can report no deficiency, except it be that men do not sufficiently understand the excellent use of Pure Mathematics. Francis Bacon How can I take an interest in my work when I don’t like it? Francis Bacon (the 20th Century painter) Et harum scientarum porta et clavis est Mathematica. Mathematics is the gate and key to the sciences. Roger Bacon Opus Majus (1267) Prudens quaestio dimidium scientiae. Half of science is asking the right questions. Roger Bacon Neglect of mathematics works injury to all knowledge, since one who is ignorant of it cannot know the other sciences of the things of this world. And what is worst, those who are thus ignorant are unable to perceive their own ignorance and so do not seek a remedy. Roger Bacon Any effect, constant, theorem or equation named after Professor X was first discovered by Professor Y , for some value of Y not equal to X. John Baez sci.math, 26–Nov–1997 Does it follow that I reject all authority? Far from my mind is such a thought. In the matter of boots, I refer to the authority of the bootmaker; concerning houses, canals, or railroads, I consult that of the architect or engineer. For such and such knowledge I apply to such and such a specialist. But I allow neither the bootmaker nor the architect nor the specialist to impose his authority on me. I listen to them freely and with all the respect merited by their intelligence, their character, and their knowledge, though reserving always my incontestable right of criticism and censure. Mikhail Aleksandrovich Bakunin ´ Dieu et l’Etat (1882) Nobody is more dangerous than he who imagines himself pure in heart; for his purity, by definition, is unassailable. James Baldwin Nobody Knows My Name (1961) Nothing matters very much, and very few things matter at all. Arthur, Lord Balfour It has always been desirable to tell the truth, but seldom if ever necessary to tell the whole truth. Arthur, Lord Balfour What egotism, what stupid vanity, to suppose that a thing could not happen because you could not conceive it! Edwin Balmer and Philip Wylie When Worlds Collide (1932)

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We do not have to think alike in order to arrive at the same objective conclusion. Manly Banister Conquest of Earth (1955) Never practice two vices at once. Tallulah Bankhead Nobody can be exactly like me. Even I have trouble doing it. Tallulah Bankhead If I had to live my life again, I’d make the same mistakes, only sooner. Tallulah Bankhead One picture is worth ten thousand words. Fred R. Barnard Printer’s Ink (10–March–1927) We provisionally define statistics as the study of how information should be employed to reflect on, and give guidance for action in, a practical situation involving uncertainty. V. Barnett Comparative Statistical Inference (2nd ed. 1982) What is algebra exactly; is it those three-cornered things? James Matthew Barrie Quality Street (1901), II Many of you young persons out there are seriously thinking about going to college. (That is, of course, a lie. The only things you young persons think seriously about are beer, loud music and sex. Trust me: these are closely related to college.) College is basically a bunch of rooms where you sit for roughly two thousand hours and try to memorize things. The two thousand hours are spread out over four years; you spend the rest of the time sleeping and trying to get dates. Basically, you learn two kinds of things in college: 1. Things you will need to know in later life (two hours). These include how to make collect telephone calls and get beer and crepe-paper stains out of your pajamas. 2. Things you will not need to know in later life (1,998 hours). These are the things you learn in classes whose names end in –ology, –osophy, –istry, –ics, and so on. The idea is, you memorize these things, then write them down in little exam book, then forget them. If you fail to forget them, you become a professor and have to stay in college for the rest of your life. It’s very difficult to forget everything. For example, when I was in college, I had to memorize—don’t ask me why—the names of three metaphysical poets other than John Donne. I have managed to forget one of them, but I still remember that the other two were named Vaughan and Crashaw. Sometimes, when I’m trying to remember something important like whether my wife told me to get tuna packed in oil or tuna packed in water, Vaughan and Crashaw just pop up in my mind, right there in the supermarket. It’s a terrible waste of brain cells. After you’ve been in college for a year or so, you’re supposed to choose a major, which is the subject you intend to memorize and forget the most things about. Here is a very important piece of advice: be sure to choose a major that does not involve Known Facts and Right Answers. This means you must not major in mathematics, physics, biology, or chemistry, because these subjects involve actual facts. If, for example, you major in mathematics, you’re going to wander into class one day and the professor will say: “Define the cosine integer of the quadrant of a rhomboid binary axis, and extrapolate your result to five significant vertices.” If you don’t come up with exactly the answer the professor has in mind, you fail. The same is true of chemistry: if you write in your exam book that carbon and hydrogen combine to form oak, your professor will flunk you. He wants you to come up with the same answer he and all the other chemists have agreed on. Scientists are extremely snotty about this.

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So you should major in subjects like English, philosophy, psychology, and sociology—subjects in which nobody really understands what anybody else is talking about, and which involve virtually no actual facts. I attended classes in all these subjects, so I’ll give you a quick overview of each: ENGLISH: This involves writing papers about long books you have read little snippets of just before class. Here is a tip on how to get good grades on your English papers: Never say anything about a book that anybody with any common sense would say. For example, suppose you are studying Moby-Dick. Anybody with any common sense would say that Moby-Dick is a big white whale, since the characters in the book refer to it as a big white whale roughly eleven thousand times. So in your paper, you say Moby-Dick is actually the Republic of Ireland. Your professor, who is sick to death of reading papers and never liked Moby-Dick anyway, will think you are enormously creative. If you can regularly come up with lunatic interpretations of simple stories, you should major in English. PHILOSOPHY: Basically, this involves sitting in a room and deciding there is no such thing as reality and then going to lunch. You should major in philosophy if you plan to take a lot of drugs. PSYCHOLOGY: This involves talking about rats and dreams. Psychologists are obsessed with rats and dreams. I once spent an entire semester training a rat to punch little buttons in a certain sequence, then training my roommate to do the same thing. The rat learned much faster. My roommate is now a doctor. If you like rats or dreams, and above all if you dream about rats, you should major in psychology. SOCIOLOGY: For sheer lack of intelligibility, sociology is far and away the number one subject. I sat through hundreds of hours of sociology courses, and read gobs of sociology writing, and I never once heard or read a coherent statement. This is because sociologists want to be considered scientists, so they spend most of their time translating simple, obvious observations into scientific-sounding code. If you plan to major in sociology, you’ll have to learn to do the same thing. For example, suppose you have observed that children cry when they fall down. You should write: “Methodological observation of the sociometrical behavior tendencies of prematurated isolates indicates that a casual relationship exists between groundward tropism and lachrimatory, or ‘crying,’ behavior forms.” If you can keep this up for fifty or sixty pages, you will get a large government grant. Dave Barry Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet. Dave Barry It may be meaningless, but at least it’s a gesture. Dave Barry What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth? Judging from realistic simulations involving a sledge hammer and a common laboratory frog, we can assume it will be pretty bad. Dave Barry In fact, when you get right down to it, almost every explanation Man came up with for anything until about 1926 was stupid. Dave Barry Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country. Marion Barry (Mayor of Washington DC) Be suspicious of anything that works perfectly—it’s probably because two errors are canceling each other out. Dave Bartley Every man has a right to be wrong in his opinions, but no man has a right to be wrong in his facts. Bernard Baruch Teaching is not a lost art, but the regard for it is a lost tradition. Jacques Barzun Newsweek, 5–Dec–1955

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Research is the act of going up alleys to see if they are blind. Marston Bates An error doesn’t become a mistake until you refuse to correct it. Orlando Aloysius Battista It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. Charles Baudelaire Intimate Journals (1877) A sympathetic Scot summed it all up very neatly in the remark, ‘You should make a point of trying every experience once, excepting incest and folk dancing.’ Sir Arnold Bax Farewell, My Youth (1943) [On the Macintosh IIfx]: It’s so fast, it can do an infinite loop in thirty seconds. Brian Bechtel We are all born mad. Some remain so. Samuel Beckett Waiting for Godot (1955) One of the thieves was saved. (Pause) It’s a reasonable precentage. Samuel Beckett Waiting for Godot (1955) Their homework is so hard these days. I sat down with Brooklyn the other day—and I was like, ‘Victoria, maybe you should do the homework tonight.’ I think it was maths, actually. It’s totally done differently to what I was teached when I was at school, and you know, I was like, ‘Oh my God, I can’t do this.’ David Beckham in the ‘Mail on Sunday’, 26–Feb–2006 The philosophy of one century is the common sense of the next. Henry Ward Beecher Absolutum obsoletum. (If it works it’s out of date.) Stafford Beer Brain of the Firm (1972) Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it’s done, they’ve seen it done every day, but they’re unable to do it themselves. Brendan Behan When one door closes another door opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the ones which open for us. Alexander Graham Bell Wherever groups disclosed themselves, or could be introduced, simplicity crystallized out of comparative chaos. Eric Temple Bell Mathematics, Queen and Servant of Science (1951) Abstractness, sometimes hurled as a reproach at mathematics, is its chief glory and its surest title to practical usefulness. It is also the source of such beauty as may spring from mathematics. Eric Temple Bell

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Any impatient student of mathematics or science or engineering who is irked by having algebraic symbolism thrust upon him should try to get along without it for a week. Eric Temple Bell “Obvious” is the most dangerous word in mathematics. Eric Temple Bell I have always hated machinery, and the only machine I ever understood was a wheelbarrow, and that but imperfectly. Eric Temple Bell in H. Eves, ‘Mathematical Circles Adieu’ To assert that the earth revolves around the sun is as erroneous as to claim that Jesus was not born of a virgin. Cardinal Bellarmine during the trial of Galileo (1615) Before the curse of statistics fell upon mankind we lived a happy, innocent life, full of merriment and go, and informed by fairly good judgment. Hillaire Belloc The Silence of the Sea (1940): On Statistics Statistics are the triumph of the quantitative method, and the quantitative method is the victory of sterility and death. Hillaire Belloc The Silence of the Sea (1940): On Statistics It has long been recognized by public men of all kinds. . . that statistics come under the head of lying, and that no lie is so false or inconclusive as that which is based on statistics. Hillaire Belloc The Silence of the Sea (1940): On Statistics But scientists, who ought to know Assure us that it must be so. Oh, let us never, never doubt What nobody is sure about. Hillaire Belloc More Beasts for Worse Children (1897): The Microbe A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to get so much done and still keep looking so dissipated. Robert Benchley Chips Off the Old Benchley (1949): ‘How to Get Things Done’ We do not see the lens through which we look. Ruth Fulton Benedict franklin: Have you ever thought, headmaster, that your standards might perhaps be a little out of date? headmaster: Of course they’re out of date. Standards are always out of date. That is what makes them standards. Alan Bennett Forty Years On (1969) act 2 Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago. Bernard Berenson Notebook (1892)

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There are two futures, the future of desire and the future of fate, and man’s reason has never learned to separate them. Bernard Berenson North Italian Painters of the Renaissance (1907): The Decline of Art The practising Bayesian is well advised to become friends with as many numerical analysts as possible. James O. Berger Statistical Decision Theory and Bayesian Analysis (1985) Why do writers write? Because it isn’t there. Thomas Berger The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend. Henri-Louis Bergson Most problems have either many answers or no answer. Only a few problems have a single answer. Edmund C. Berkeley ‘Right Answers: A Short Guide for Obtaining Them’, Computers and Automation, September, 1969 Certainly he who can digest a second or third fluxion need not, methinks, be squeamish about any point in divinity. Bishop George Berkeley (1734) Esse est percipi. (To be is to be perceived.) Bishop George Berkeley The computer has in turn changed the very nature of mathematical experience, suggesting for the first time that mathematics, like physics, may yet become an empirical discipline, a place where things are discovered because they are seen. David Berlinski The Sciences, July/August 1997 We define genius as the capacity for productive reaction against one’s training. Desmond Bernal We define the art of conjecture, or stochastic art, as the art of evaluating as exactly as possible the probabilities of things, so that in our judgments and actions we can always base ourselves on what has been found to be the best, the most appropriate, the most certain, the best advised; this is the only object of the wisdom of the philosopher and the prudence of the statesman. Jacques Bernoulli Ars Conjectandi (1713), Transl. Bertrand de Jouvenal (1967) It is utterly implausible that a mathematical formula should make the future known to us, and those who think it can would once have believed in witchcraft. Jacques Bernoulli Ars Conjectandi (1713), Transl. Bertrand de Jouvenal (1967) You can’t compare me to my father. Our similarities are different. Dale Berra Ninety percent of the game is half mental. Yogi Berra You can observe a lot just by watchin’. Yogi Berra

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Why don’t you pair ’em up in threes? Yogi Berra We made too many wrong mistakes. Yogi Berra Bayesian statistics is difficult in the sense that thinking is difficult. Donald A. Berry Teaching Elementary Bayesian Statistics with Real Applications in Science, American Statistician 51:241–246 (1997) Go to, let us go down, and there confound their language, that they may not understand one another’s speech. The Bible Genesis 11:7 Oh that one would hear me! behold, my desire is, that the Almighty would answer me, and that mine adversary had written a book. The Bible Job 31:35 In much wisdom is much grief; and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow. The Bible Ecclesiastes 1:18 Better is the end of a thing than the beginning thereof. The Bible Ecclesiastes 7:8 I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all. The Bible Ecclesiastes 9:11 Then said Daniel to Melzar, whom the prince of the eunuchs had set over Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah, Prove thy servants, I beseech thee, ten days; and let them give us pulse to eat, and water to drink. Then let our countenances be looked upon before thee, and the countenance of the children that eat of the portion of the king’s meat: and as thou seest, deal with thy servants. The Bible Daniel 1:11–13 But let your communication be Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil. The Bible Matthew 5:37 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away. The Bible 1 Corinthians 13:9–10 For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears; And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables. The Bible 2 Timothy 4:3–4

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Yes, the lectures are optional. Graduation is also optional. Bob Bickford To be positive: To be mistaken at the top of one’s voice. Ambrose Gwinett Bierce The Devil’s Dictionary (1911) Bigot: One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain. Ambrose Gwinett Bierce The Devil’s Dictionary (1911) Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel. Ambrose Gwinett Bierce The Devil’s Dictionary (1911) Certain old men prefer to rise at dawn, taking a cold bath and a long walk with an empty stomach and otherwise mortifying the flesh. They then point with pride to these practices as the cause of their sturdy health and ripe years; the truth being that they are hearty and old, not because of their habits, but in spite of them. The reason we find only robust persons doing this thing is that it has killed all the others who have tried it. Ambrose Gwinett Bierce The Devil’s Dictionary (1911) According to the most trustworthy statistics the number of adult Dullards in the United States is but little short of thirty millions, including the statisticians. Ambrose Gwinett Bierce The Devil’s Dictionary (1911) Be as decent as you can. Don’t believe without evidence. Treat things divine with marked respect—don’t have anything to do with them. Do not trust humanity without collateral security; it will play you some scurvy trick. Remember that it hurts no one to be treated as an enemy entitled to respect until he shall prove himself a friend worthy of affection. Cultivate a taste for distasteful truths. And, finally, most important of all, endeavor to see things as they are, not as they ought to be. Ambrose Gwinett Bierce The covers of this book are too far apart. Ambrose Gwinett Bierce The unknown is always worse than the known. Eando Binder Menace of the Saucers (1969) I do not object to people looking at their watches when I am speaking. But I strongly object when they start shaking them to make certain they are still going. Lord Birkett the Observer, Sayings of the Week, 30–Oct–1960 When a man says he approves of something in principle, it means he hasn’t the slightest intention of putting it into practice. Prince Otto von Bismarck It is better that ten guilty persons escape than one innocent suffer. Sir William Blackstone Commentary on the Laws of England (1765) IV 27

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A witness cannot give evidence of his age unless he can remember being born. Judge Blagden the Observer, Sayings of the Week, 29–Jan–1950 Reason, or the ratio of all we have already known, is not the same that it shall be when we know more. William Blake There Is No Natural Religion (1788) The true method of knowledge is experiment. William Blake All Religions are One (1788) If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, infinite. William Blake The Marriage of Heaven and Hell (1790–3): A Memorable Fancy The man who never alters his opinion is like standing water, & breeds reptiles of the mind. William Blake The Marriage of Heaven and Hell (1790–3): Proverbs of Hell What is now proved was once only imagin’d. William Blake The Marriage of Heaven and Hell (1790–3) A fool sees not the same tree that a wise man sees. William Blake The Marriage of Heaven and Hell (1790–3) God forbid that Truth should be confined to Mathematical Demonstration! William Blake Notes on Reynold’s Discourses (1808) The manipulation of statistical formulas is no substitute for knowing what one is doing. Hubert M. Blalock, Jr. Social Statistics (2nd edition, 1972) The last time somebody said, ‘I find I can write much better with a word processor’, I replied, ‘They used to say the same thing about drugs’. Roy Blount, Jr. . . . a phenomenon that everybody who teaches mathematics has observed: the students always have to be taught what they should have learned in the preceding course. (We, the teachers, were of course exceptions; it is consequently hard for us to understand the deficiencies of our students.) The average student does not really learn to add fractions in an arithmetic class; but by the time he has survived a course in algebra he can add numerical fractions. He does not learn algebra in the algebra course; he learns it in calculus, when he is forced to use it. He does not learn calculus in a calculus class either; but if he goes on to differential equations he may have a pretty good grasp of elementary calculus when he gets through. And so on throughout the hierarchy of courses; the most advanced course, naturally, is learned only by teaching it. This is not just because each previous teacher did such a rotten job. It is because there is not time for enough practice on each new topic; and even it there were, it would be insufferably dull. Ralph P. Boas Contraria non contradictoria sed complementa sunt. Opposites are not contradictory but complementary. Niels Henrik David Bohr Address, Moscow (1961) An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes, which can be made, in a very narrow field. Niels Henrik David Bohr

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Never express yourself more clearly than you can think. Niels Henrik David Bohr We are trapped by language to such a degree that every attempt to formulate insight is a play on words. Niels Henrik David Bohr The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth. Niels Henrik David Bohr Prediction is very difficult, especially of the future. Niels Henrik David Bohr No, you’re not thinking, you’re just being logical. Niels Henrik David Bohr We are all agreed that your theory is crazy. The question which divides us is whether it is crazy enough to have a chance of being correct. My own feeling is that it is not crazy enough. Niels Henrik David Bohr If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. Derek Bok, President of Harvard University When evaluating a model, at least two broad standards are relevant. One is whether the model is consistent with the data. The other is whether the model is consistent with the ‘real world.’ Kenneth A. Bollen Structural Equations with Latent Variables (1989) We find no sense in talking about something unless we specify how we measure it; a definition by the method of measuring a quantity is the one sure way of avoiding talking nonsense. . . Sir Hermann Bondi Relativity and Common Sense (1964) The solid wealth of insurance companies and the success of those who organise gambling are some indication of the profits to be derived from the efficient use of chance. Edward de Bono I can’t say I’ve ever been lost, but I was bewildered once for three days. Daniel Boone Education is learning what you didn’t even know you didn’t know. Daniel Boorstin ‘A Case of Hypochondria’, Newsweek, 6–July–1970 The greatest obstacle to discovering the shape of the earth, the continents, and the oceans was not ignorance but the illusion of knowledge. Daniel Boorstin The Discoverers (1983) El original es infidel a la traducci´ on. (The original is unfaithful to the translation.) Jorge Luis Borges On Henley’s translation of William Beckford’s Vathek (1943) The heresies we should fear are those which can be confused with orthodoxy. Jorge Luis Borges The Theologians (1964)

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C’est magnifique, mais ce n’est pas la guerre. ´chal Bosquet Mare commenting on the charge of the Light Brigade (1854) The difference between a genius and a lunatic is that the genius has proof. Dominique Bouchard Structures are the weapons of the mathematician. ‘Nicolas Bourbaki’ Logic is invincible, because in order to combat logic it is necessary to use logic. ´on Boutroux Pierre Le The efforts of computer engineers have already produced a mechanical Briggs (who spent his lifetime computing logarithms) and a mechanical Barlow (whose famous Tables were a life’s work), but no one has ever conceived of a mechanical Napier (for he invented logarithms). B. V. Bowden Faster than Thought (1953) No object is mysterious. The mystery is in your eye. Elizabeth Bowen A knowledge of statistics is like a knowledge of foreign languages or of algebra; it may prove of use at any time under any circumstances. Arthur L. Bowley Elements of Statistics (1901) The various estimates of the height of the true summit vary considerably, but by taking an average of these figures it is possible to say confidently that the summit of Rum Doodle is 40,000 1/2 feet above sea level. W. E. Bowman The Ascent of Rum Doodle (1956) In the first place, the best way to convey to the experimenter what the data tell him about θ is to show him a picture of the posterior distribution. G. E. P. Box & G. C. Tiao Bayesian Inference in Statistical Analysis (1973) As the Bayesian approach sets us free from the yoke of sufficiency, so numerical integration and the availability of computers set us free from the need to worry about the “integrability in closed form” of the function. G. E. P. Box & G. C. Tiao Bayesian Inference in Statistical Analysis (1973) All models are wrong, some models are useful. G. E. P. Box Robustness in the Strategy of Scientific Model Building (1979) I take the view, and always have done, that if you cannot say what you have to say in twenty minutes, you should go away and write a book about it. Lord Brabazon Speech in House of Lords, 21–June–1955 threepio: Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately three thousand, seven hundred and twenty to one. han: Never tell me the odds! Leigh Brackett & Lawrence Kasdan The Empire Strikes Back (1980)

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threepio: The city’s central computer told you? Artoo-Detoo, you know better than to trust a strange computer. Leigh Brackett & Lawrence Kasdan The Empire Strikes Back (1980) yoda: No, Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try. Leigh Brackett & Lawrence Kasdan The Empire Strikes Back (1980) We are an impossibility in an impossible universe. Ray Bradbury Without libraries what have we? We have no past and no future. Ray Bradbury The human race likes to give itself airs. One good volcano can produce more greenhouse gases in a year than the human race has in its entire history. Ray Bradbury We use the classical theory on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, and the quantum theory on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. Sir William Lawrence Bragg The important thing in science is not so much to obtain new facts as to discover new ways of thinking about them. Sir William Lawrence Bragg It has been a fortunate fact in the modern history of physical science that the scientist constructing a new theoretical system has nearly always found that the mathematics. . . required. . . had already been worked out by pure mathematicians for their own amusement. . . . The moral for statesmen would seem to be that, for proper scientific “planning”, pure mathematics should be endowed fifty years ahead of scientists. R. B. Braithwaite Scientific Explanation (1953) How is it possible to suspend topaz in one cup of the balance and weigh it against amethyst in the other; or who in a single language can compare the tranquillizing grace of a maiden with the invigorating pleasure of witnessing a well-contested rat-fight? Ernest Bramah [E. B. Smith] Kai Lung’s Golden Hours (1900), ‘The Incredible Obtuseness of those who had opposed the Virtuous Kai-Lung’ When struck by a thunderbolt it is unnecessary to consult the Book of Dates as to the precise meaning of the omen. Ernest Bramah [E. B. Smith] The Wallet of Kai-Lung (1900) ‘The Transmutation of Ling’ Historians will consider this a dark age. Science historians can read Galileos technical correspondence from the 1590s but not Marvin Minskys from the 1960s. Stewart Brand ‘Written on the Wind’, Civilization Magazine, Nov 1998 I abhor averages. I like the individual case. A man may have six meals one day and none the next, making an average of three meals per day, but that is not a good way to live. Louis Dembitz Brandeis quoted in Alpheus T. Mason: ‘Brandeis: A Free Man’s Life’ (1946) Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers. Leonard Brandwein

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Science does not have a moral dimension. It is like a knife. If you give it to a surgeon or a murderer, each will use it differently. Werner von Braun Research is what I’m doing when I don’t know what I’m doing. Werner von Braun I do not believe in things. I believe in relationships. Georges Braque in J. Culler, ‘Ferdinand de Saussure’ (1986), Ch. 4 To define a thing is to substitute the definition for the thing itself. Georges Braque My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating. Ashleigh Brilliant I don’t have any solution, but I certainly admire the problem. Ashleigh Brilliant My play was a complete success. The audience was a failure. Ashleigh Brilliant The time for action is past! Now is the time for senseless bickering! Ashleigh Brilliant My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right. Ashleigh Brilliant The plural of anecdote is not data. Roger Brinner Telling the future by looking at the past assumes that conditions remain constant. This is like driving a car by looking in the rearview mirror. Herb Brody It is important that students bring a certain ragamuffin, barefoot, irreverence to their studies; they are not here to worship what is known, but to question it. Jacob Bronowski The Ascent of Man (1973) The essence of science: ask an impertinent question, and you are on the way to a pertinent answer. Jacob Bronowski The Ascent of Man (1973) The basis for poetry and scientific discovery is the ability to comprehend the unlike in the like and the like in the unlike. Jacob Bronowski Whenever people say ‘we mustn’t be sentimental’, you can take it they are about to do something cruel. And if they add, ‘we must be realistic’, they mean they are going to make money out of it. Brigid Brophy Unlived Life: A Manifesto Against Factory Farming Mathematics is nothing more, nothing less, than the exact part of our thinking. Luitzen Egbertus Jan Brouwer

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There are a billion people in China. It’s not easy to be an individual in a crowd of more than a billion people. Think of it. More than a BILLION people. That means even if you’re a one-in-a-million type of guy, there are still a thousand guys exactly like you. A. Whitney Brown The Big Picture (1991) No one can tell time except approximately, time never stands still to be named. Fredric Brown The Lenient Beast (1956) To arrive at the simplest truth, as Newton knew and practiced, requires years of contemplation. Not activity. Not reasoning. Not calculating. Not busy behaviour of any kind. Not reading. Not talking. Not making an effort. Not thinking. Simply bearing in mind what it is one needs to know. And yet those with the courage to tread this path to real discovery are not only offered practically no guidance on how to do so, they are actively discouraged and have to set about it in secret, pretending meanwhile to be diligently engaged in the frantic diversions and to conform with the deadening personal opinions which are continually being thrust upon them. George Spencer Brown The Laws of Form (1969) Every advanced industrial country knows that falling behind in science and mathematics means falling behind in commerce and prosperity. Gordon Brown Budget Speech, 22–Mar–2006 A deadline is negative inspiration. Still, it’s better than no inspiration at all. Rita Mae Brown Starting from Scratch: A Different Kind of Writer’s Manual (1988) Morals are private. Decency is public. Rita Mae Brown Starting from Scratch: A Different Kind of Writer’s Manual (1988) Novelty is not necessarily a virtue. Rita Mae Brown Starting from Scratch: A Different Kind of Writer’s Manual (1988) The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they’re okay, then it’s you. Rita Mae Brown It’s an act of faith to be a writer in a postliterate world. Rita Mae Brown Good judgment comes from experience, and often experience comes from bad judgment. Rita Mae Brown God is like a skilful Geometrician. Sir Thomas Browne Religio Medici (1643) I, 16 The religion of one seems madness unto another. Sir Thomas Browne No one should approach the temple of science with the soul of a money changer. Sir Thomas Browne Since when was genius found respectable? Elizabeth Barrett Browning Aurora Leigh (1857), Bk VI

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It is proof of a base and low mind for one to wish to think with the masses or majority, merely because the majority is the majority. Truth does not change because it is, or is not, believed by a majority of the people. Giordano Bruno For a long time it puzzled me how something so expensive, so leading edge, could be so useless, and then it occurred to me that a computer is a stupid machine with the ability to do incredibly smart things, while computer programmers are smart people with the ability to do incredibly stupid things. They are, in short, a perfect match Bill Bryson Notes from a Big Country (1999) art buchwald: Put yourself in Hamlet’s shoes. Suppose you were a prince, and you came back from college to discover that your uncle had murdered your father and married your mother, and you fell in love with a beautiful girl and mistakenly murdered her father, and then she went crazy and drowned herself. What would you do? student: Go back for a masters? Art Buchwald and student undated conversation No one really understood music unless he was a scientist, her father had declared, and not just a scientist, either, oh, no, only the real ones, the theoreticians, whose language mathematics. She had not understood mathematics until he had explained to her that it was the symbolic language of relationships. “And relationships,” he had told her, “contained the essential meaning of life.” Pearl S. Buck The Goddess Abides (1972) Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it. The Buddha (Siddhartha Gautama) We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world. The Buddha (Siddhartha Gautama) Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense. The Buddha (Siddhartha Gautama) There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth: not going all the way, and not starting. The Buddha (Siddhartha Gautama) Le g´enie n’est qu’une plus grande aptitude `a la patience. Comte de Buffon (George-Louis Leclerc) in H´erault de S´echelles, ‘Voyage ` a Montbar’ (1803) buffy: See, this is a school. And we have students and they check out books and then they learn things. giles: I was beginning to suspect that was a myth. Buffy the Vampire Slayer Never Kill a Boy on the First Date (1997) buffy: I think I speak for everyone here when I say: ‘Huh?’ Buffy the Vampire Slayer Out of Mind, Out of Sight (1997)

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wesley: I have, in fact, faced two vampires myself. Under controlled circumstances, of course. giles: No danger of finding those here. wesley: Vampires? giles: Controlled circumstances. Buffy the Vampire Slayer Bad Girls (1999) buffy: You, I can’t believe you got into Oxford. willow: It’s pretty exciting. oz: That’s some deep academia there. buffy: There’s where they make Gileses. willow: I know. I can learn and have scones. Buffy the Vampire Slayer Choices(1999) buffy: How was school today? dawn: Um, the usual. Big square building filled with boredom and despair. buffy: Just how I remember it. Buffy the Vampire Slayer Blood Ties (2001) The pessimist is the man who believes things couldn’t possibly be worse, to which the optimist replies: ‘Oh yes they could!’ Vladimir Bukovsky in the ‘Guardian Weekly’, 10–July–1977 Fate laughs at probabilities. Edward George Bulwer-Lytton Eugene Aram (1832) Book I, Ch. 10 I would give my life for a man who is looking for the truth. But I would gladly kill a man who thinks that he has found the truth. ˜uel Luis Bun in ‘the Guardian’, 24–Feb–1989 History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon. Napoleon Buonaparte Imagination rules the world. Napoleon Buonaparte The advancement and perfection of mathematics are intimately connected with the prosperity of the State. Napoleon Buonaparte Ten people who speak make more noise than ten thousand who are silent. Napoleon Buonaparte If in the last few years you haven’t discarded a major opinion or acquired a new one, check your pulse. You may be dead. Gelet Burgess It is the nature of all greatness not to be exact. Edmund Burke On American Taxation (1775) An event has happened, upon which it is difficult to speak, and impossible to be silent. Edmund Burke Speech on the Impeachment of Warren Hastings (5–May–1789)

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But the age of chivalry is gone. That of sophisters, economists, and calculators, has succeeded; and the glory of Europe is extinguished for ever. Edmund Burke Reflections on the Revolution in France (1790) Superstition is the religion of feeble minds. Edmund Burke Reflections on the Revolution in France (1790) Example is the school of mankind, and they will learn at no other. Edmund Burke Letters on a Regicide Peace (1796), I Look to the future, because that is where you’ll spend the rest of your life. George Burns If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age. George Burns A good sermon should have a good beginning and a good ending, and they should be as close together as possible. George Burns The best-laid schemes o’ mice an’ men Gang aft a-gley. Robert Burns To a Mouse (1786) Nature’s mighty law is change. Robert Burns Let Not Women E’er Complain (1794) So strong is the power of superstition that even though we know that we have been reverencing a sham, yet still we hesitate to admit the validity of our new-found convictions. Edgar Rice Burroughs Thuvia, Maid of Mars (1916) Could it be that there were other things more desirable than cold logic and undefiled brain power? Edgar Rice Burroughs The Chessmen of Mars (1922) Even theories must have foundations. Edgar Rice Burroughs Pirates of Venus (1934) Subconscious minds are no less fallible than the objective mind. Edgar Rice Burroughs Pirates of Venus (1934) I do not think that I am ever overconfident. I am merely wholly confident, and I maintain that there is all the difference in the world there. Edgar Rice Burroughs Llana of Gathol (1941) If you can’t be just, be arbitrary. William Seward Burroughs The Naked Lunch (1959)

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A psychotic is a guy who has just found out what is going on. William Seward Burroughs Language is a virus from outer space. William Seward Burroughs I have opinions of my own—strong opinions—but I don’t always agree with them. George Bush It’s no exaggeration to say the undecideds could go one way or another. George Bush But to us, probability is the very guide of life. Bishop Joseph Butler The Analogy of Religion (1756), Preface An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing. Nicholas Murray Butler Commencement address as President of Columbia University (1901) Life is the art of drawing sufficient conclusions from insufficient premises. Samuel Butler Notebooks (1912), ‘Life’, 9 Though analogy is often misleading, it is the least misleading thing we have. Samuel Butler Notebooks (1912), ‘Music, Pictures and Books: Thought and Word’, 2 The pursuit of truth is chimerical. . . What we should pursue is the most convenient arrangement of our ideas. Samuel Butler Notebooks (1912) Everything is in a state of flux, including the status quo. Robert Byrne There are two kinds of people: those who finish what they start and so on. . . Robert Byrne Damn description, it is always disgusting. Lord Byron (George Gordon, 6th Baron Byron) Letter (6–Aug–1809) There is something pagan in me that I cannot shake off. In short, I deny nothing, but doubt everything. Lord Byron (George Gordon, 6th Baron Byron) Letter (4–Dec–1811) The best of prophets of the future is the past. Lord Byron (George Gordon, 6th Baron Byron) Opinions are made to be changed—or how is truth to be got at? Lord Byron (George Gordon, 6th Baron Byron) Who then will explain the explanation? Lord Byron (George Gordon, 6th Baron Byron) The man who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The man who invented the other three, he was a genius. Sid Caesar

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I can’t understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I’m frightened of the old ones. John Cage Everything has already begun before, the first line of the first page of every novel refers to something that has already happened outside the book. Italo Calvino If on a Winter’s Night a Traveller (1979), Ch. 7 Know what I hate most? Rhetorical questions. Henry N. Camp No literature is sound, no philosophy of action workable, if it doesn’t take a hard look at itself. John W. Campbell (1951) Too darned good a machine can be a menace, not a help. John W. Campbell (1951) There’s nothing quite so stultifying as having someone around who has all the answers—and gives them to you. John W. Campbell (1951) That’s the trouble with languages. They have to be learned. John W. Campbell The Space Beyond (1976) Intellectuel = celui qui se d´edouble. (An intellectual is someone whose mind watches itself.) Albert Camus Carnets 1935–42 (1962) Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep. Albert Camus You cannot create experience. You must undergo it. Albert Camus You have but to know an object by its proper name for it to lose its dangerous magic. Elias Canetti Auto da F´e (1935) Part III, Ch. 2 He would like to start from scratch. Where is scratch? Elias Canetti The Human Province (1965) I can prove anything by statistics except the truth. George Canning We seek to find peace of mind in the word, the formula, the ritual. The hope is an illusion. Benjamin N. Cardozo The Growth of the Law (1924) Man is a tool-using animal. . . Without tools he is nothing, with tools he is all. Thomas Carlyle Sartor Resartus (1834) bk. 1, ch. 5

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The end of a man is action and not a thought, though it were the noblest. Thomas Carlyle Sartor Resartus (1834) bk. 2, ch. 6 What is all knowledge too but recorded experience, and a product of history; of which, therefore, reasoning and belief, no less than action and passion, are essential materials? Thomas Carlyle Critical and Miscellaneous Essays (1838) ‘On History’ Statistics is a science which ought to be honourable, the basis of many most important sciences; but it is not to be carried on by steam, this science, any more than others are; a wise head is requisite for carrying it on. Conclusive facts are inseparable from unconclusive except by a head that already understands and knows. Thomas Carlyle Chartism (1839) Chapter II: Statistics A witty statesman said, you might prove anything by figures. Thomas Carlyle Chartism (1839) Chapter II: Statistics ‘Genius’ (which means transcendent capacity of taking trouble, first of all). Thomas Carlyle History of Frederick the Great (1858-65) bk. 4, ch. 3 A judicious man uses statistics, not to get knowledge, but to save himself from having ignorance foisted upon him. Thomas Carlyle I do not believe in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance. Thomas Carlyle As I grow older I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do. Andrew Carnegie Copying from one book is clearly cribbing; copying from two is research; and if one can get somebody else to do the copying this becomes a project. F. G. G. Carr the Observer, Sayings of the Week, 7–Dec–1952 You have not had thirty years’ experience . . . You have had one year’s experience 30 times. J. L. Carr The Harpole Report (1972) ch. 21 When the going gets tough, the tough get empirical. Jon Carroll ‘What is the use of a book,’ thought Alice, ‘without pictures or conversations?’ Lewis Carroll (Charles Lutwidge Dodgson) Alice in Wonderland (1865) ‘Why’, said the Dodo, ‘the best way to explain it is to do it.’ Lewis Carroll (Charles Lutwidge Dodgson) Alice in Wonderland (1865) ‘Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?’ ‘That depends a good deal on where you want to get to’, said the Cat. ‘I don’t much care where. . . ’, said Alice. ‘Then it doesn’t matter which way you go’, said the Cat. ‘So long as I get somewhere’, Alice added as an explanation. ‘Oh, you’re sure to do that’, said the Cat, ‘If you only walk long enough.’ Lewis Carroll (Charles Lutwidge Dodgson) Alice in Wonderland (1865)

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Alice laughed: ‘There’s no use trying,’ she said; ‘one can’t believe impossible things.’ ‘I daresay you haven’t had much practice,’ said the Queen. ‘When I was younger, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.’ Lewis Carroll (Charles Lutwidge Dodgson) Alice in Wonderland (1865) Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that! Lewis Carroll (Charles Lutwidge Dodgson) Through the Looking Glass (1872) ‘What’s one and one and one and one and one and one and one and one and one and one and one and one?’ ‘I don’t know’ said Alice. ‘I lost count.’ ‘She can’t do addition.’ said the Red Queen. Lewis Carroll (Charles Lutwidge Dodgson) Through the Looking Glass (1872) A thing is obvious mathematically after you see it. R. D. Carmichael A teacher is one who makes himself progressively unnecessary. Thomas Carruthers Whenever man comes up with a better mousetrap, nature immediately comes up with a better mouse. James Carswell Just think of all the billions of coincidences that don’t happen. Dick Cavett Lotteries, a tax upon imbeciles. Count Camillo Benso di Cavour Los buenos pintores imitan la naturaleza, pero los malos la vomitan. Cervantes (Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra) El Licienciado Vidriera (1613) By a small sample we may judge the whole piece. Cervantes (Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra) Individual human beings are so subtly developed through the centuries that it is strictly impermissible to compare any two men who are not contemporaries—that is to say are taken from two quite different times. Pierre Teilhard de Chardin The Appearance of Man (1955) The past has revealed to me the structure of the future. Pierre Teilhard de Chardin Letters from a Traveller (1956) It is surprising to me that I know of no grant proposal to determine the average weight of the soul by weighing accurately large numbers of dying people before and after death has occurred. Erwin Chargaff Persp. Biol. Med., 34 (1973) elwood: I’ve wrestled with reality for 35 years, and I’m happy, doctor, I finally won out over it. Mary Chase Harvey (film, 1950) Statistical methods . . . constitute the science of collecting, analysing and interpreting data in the best possible way. C. Chatfield Statistics for Technology (3rd ed. 1983)

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That lyf so short, the craft so long to lerne. Geoffrey Chaucer The Parliament of Fowls (1382) 1.1 Nowher so bisy a man as he there nas, And yet he semed bisier than he was. Geoffrey Chaucer The Canterbury Tales (1476), ‘The General Prologue’, 1 Man is what he believes. Anton Chekhov Years ago a statistician might have claimed that statistics deals with the processing of data. . . to-days statistician will be more likely to say that statistics is concerned with decision making in the face of uncertainty. H. Chernoff and L. E. Moses Elementary Decision Theory (1959) The knowledge of the world is only to be acquired in the world, and not in a closet. Lord Chesterfield Letters to His Son (1746) You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it. Gilbert Keith Chesterton In A. L. Maycock, ‘The Man who was Orthodox’ (1963) It isn’t that they can’t see the solution. It is that they can’t see the problem. Gilbert Keith Chesterton The Scandal of Father Brown (1935), ‘The Point of a Pin’ One may understand the cosmos, but never the ego; the self is more distant than any star. Gilbert Keith Chesterton An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered. An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered. Gilbert Keith Chesterton [on old age]: Considering the alternative. . . it’s not too bad at all. Maurice Chevalier [on decimal points]: I never could make out what those damned dots meant. Lord Randolph Churchill When my metaphysical friends tell me that the data on which the astronomers made their calculations, were necessarily obtained originally through the evidence of the senses, I say, “no.” They might, in theory at any rate, be obtained by automatic calculating-machines set in motion by the light falling upon them without admixture of the human senses at any stage. When it is persisted that we should have to be told about the calculations and use our ears for that purpose, I reply that the mathematical process has a reality and virtue in itself, and that once discovered it constitutes a new and independent factor. I am also at this point accustomed to reaffirm with emphasis my conviction that the sun is real, and also that it is hot—in fact hot as Hell, and that if the metaphysicians doubt it they should go there and see. Winston Spencer Churchill My Early Life (1930) You cannot ask us to take sides against arithmetic. Winston Spencer Churchill speech in House of Commons, 31–Aug–1926

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Atomic energy might be as good as our present day explosives, but is unlikely to produce anything very much more dangerous. Winston Spencer Churchill (1939) It is a mistake to look too far ahead. Only one link of the chain of destiny can be handled at a time. Winston Spencer Churchill speech in House of Commons, 27–Feb–1945 I gather, young man, that you wish to be a Member of Parliament. The first lesson that you must learn is, when I call for statistics about the rate of infant mortality, what I want is proof that fewer babies died when I was Prime Minister than when anyone else was Prime Minister. That is a political statistic. Winston Spencer Churchill I am always ready to learn, but I do not always like being taught. Winston Spencer Churchill That is probable which for the most part usually comes to pass, or which is a part of the ordinary beliefs of mankind. Marcus Tullius Cicero De Inv. 46 Nihil tam absurde dici potest, quod non dicatur ab aliquo philosophorum. There is nothing so ridiculous but some philosopher has said it. Marcus Tullius Cicero De Divinatione When you wish to instruct, be brief; that men’s minds take in quickly what you say, learn its lesson, and retain it faithfully. Every word that is unnecessary only pours over the side of a brimming mind. Marcus Tullius Cicero It was one thing to have guessed it, another to have had that guess confirmed beyond possibility of refutation. Arthur C. Clarke The City and the Stars (1953) When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong. When, however, the lay public rallies round an idea that is denounced by distinguished but elderly scientists and supports that idea with great fervour and emotion—the distinguished but elderly scientists are then, after all, probably right. Arthur C. Clarke Profiles of the Future (1962) But the only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible. Arthur C. Clarke Profiles of the Future (1962) Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. Arthur C. Clarke Profiles of the Future (1962) Once you can reproduce a phenomenon, you are well on the way to understanding it. Arthur C. Clarke The Winds of Space (1965) hal: I can tell from your voice harmonics, Dave, that you’re badly upset. Why don’t you take a stress pill and get some rest? Arthur C. Clarke 2001: A Space Odyssey (film, 1968)

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Those meaningless and unanswerable questions the minds keep returning to, like a tongue exploring a broken tooth. Arthur C. Clarke Transit of Earth (1971) When all else failed, you had to rely on eyeball intrumentation. Arthur C. Clarke Rendezvous With Rama (1973) Training was one thing, reality another. Arthur C. Clarke Rendezvous With Rama (1973) Any teacher that can be replaced by a machine should be! Arthur C. Clarke Electronic Tutors (1980) Getting information from the internet is like getting a glass of water from the Niagara Falls. Arthur C. Clarke the Observer, Quotes of the Year, 31–Dec–2000 A faith that cannot survive collision with the truth is not worth many regrets. Arthur C. Clarke Reading computer manuals without the hardware is as frustrating as reading sex manuals without the software. Arthur C. Clarke Sometimes I think we’re alone in the universe, and sometimes I think we’re not. In either case the idea is quite staggering. Arthur C. Clarke As Herbert Spencer said, ‘There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments, and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance that principle is contempt prior to investigation. John Henry Clarke The Homeopathic World: ‘Ignorance in High Places’ (1931) see Michael StGeorge http://www.geocities.com/fitquotation/index.htm Statistics are no substitute for judgment. Henry Clay (1850) Human beings are prone to believe the things they wish were true. Hal Clement Close to Critical (1958) Some things are to hard to believe, however entertaining they might be to hear or read. Hal Clement The Nitrogen Fix (1980) We may always depend upon it that algebra, which cannot be translated into good English and sound common sense, is bad algebra. William Kingdon Clifford Common Sense in the Exact Sciences (1885), Ch. 1 sec. 7 For every credibility gap, there is a gullibility fill. R. Clopton

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Action will furnish belief,—but will that belief be the true one? This is the point, you know. Arthur Hugh Clough Amours de voyage (1858) v.ii If you torture the data long enough, it will confess. Ronald Coase Never believe anything until it has been officially denied. Claud Cockburn I can’t imagine anything which isn’t possible through imagination. John Andrew Coffin Truth is shorter than fiction. Irwin Cohen A lot of people I know believe in positive thinking, and so do I. I believe everything positively stinks. Lew Col That willing suspension of disbelief for the moment, which constitutes poetic faith. Samuel Taylor Coleridge Biographia Literaria (1817) ch. 14 Common sense in an uncommon degree is what the world calls wisdom. Samuel Taylor Coleridge Men, I think, have to be weighed, not counted. Samuel Taylor Coleridge Economist Uses Theory to Explain Economy. Collinsville Herald-Journal headline When you have nothing to say, say nothing. Charles Caleb Colton Lacon (1820) I:183 Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest fool may ask more than the wisest men can answer. Charles Caleb Colton Lacon (1820) I:322 There is more difference within the sexes than between them. Ivy Compton-Burnett Mother and Son (1955), Ch. 10 People will accept your idea much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first. David H. Comins Savoir pour pr´evoir et pr´evoir pour pouvoir. (From science comes prevision; from prevision comes action.) Auguste Comte The accomplished scholar is not a utensil. Confucius Analects II.12 Learning without thought is labour lost; thought without learning is perilous. Confucius Analects II.15

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When you know a thing, to hold that you know it; and when you do not know a thing, to allow that you do not know it;—this is knowledge. Confucius Analects II.17 How dare I compare myself with Hui? Hui hears one point and knows all about a subject. Confucius Analects V.9 Rotten wood cannot be carved. Confucius Analects V.10 Chi Wan thought thrice, and then acted. When the Master was informed of it, he said, “Twice may do.” Confucius Analects V.20 I hear, and I forget I see, and I remember I do, and I understand. Confucius On Learning Study the past, if you would divine the future. Confucius Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it. Confucius A man who has committed a mistake and doesn’t correct it is committing another mistake. Confucius A common man marvels at uncommon things; a wise man marvels at the commonplace. Confucius If language is not correct, then what is said is not what is meant; if what is said is not what is meant, then what must be done remains undone; if this remains undone, morals and art will deteriorate; if justice goes astray, the people will stand about in helpless confusion. Hence there must be no arbitrariness in what is said. This matters above everything. Confucius By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest. Confucius Literature is the art of writing something that will be read twice. Cyril Connolly Experience is a great advantage. The problem is that when you get the experience, you’re too damned old to do anything about it. Jimmy Connors We exchanged many frank words in our respective languages. Peter Cook Beyond the Fringe Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. Rich Cook

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Saying “user-centered software design” is like saying “fish-centered aquarium design” Alan Cooper About Face: The Essentials of User Interface Design (1995) As an absurdity it was so colossal that it took on the air of a great truth. William Cooper Scenes from Provincial Life (1950) IV, Ch. 4 Mathemata mathematicus scribuntur. (Mathematics is written for mathematicians). Nicholaus Copernicus De Revolutionibus (1543), Preface Behind the wall, the gods play; they play with numbers, of which the universe is made. Le Corbusier Between 1984 and 1988 the number of centenarian men in Britain had gone up from 100 to 210. According to my pocket calculator, if this alarming trend continues, in a mere sixty-six years’ time the entire male population of this country will be over 100. Alan Coren Seems Like Old Times (1991), ‘February’ After all, facts are facts, and although we may quote one to another with a chuckle the words of the Wise Statesman, “Lies–damned lies–and statistics,” still there are some easy figures the simplest must understand, and the astutest cannot wriggle out of. Leonard Henry Courtney ‘To My Fellow-Disciples at Saratoga Springs’, The National Review [London] 26:21–26 (1895), page 25 The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance. Robert R. Coveyou People tend to assume everyone else should think the same way they do, and this contributes to much human misery. Keith Cowan A fool must now and then be right, by chance. William Cowper Conversation The objective of statistical analysis is to discover what conclusions can be drawn from data and to present these conclusions in as simple and lucid a form as is consistent with accuracy. D. R. Cox and E. J. Snell Applied Statistics (1981), section 4.1 I remember a farmer friend of mine saying that weighing a hog doesn’t fatten it up. To fatten up a hog, we need to do more than just weigh it. To increase student achievement we need to do more than just measure it. We need to nourish it, invest in it. Terry Craney Presidential address to 2000 WEAC Convention If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens? Seymour Cray The one real object of education is to leave a man in the condition of continually asking questions. Bishop Mandell Creighton

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jack: I just sort of fell into it by accident. Then I kind of liked it, so I took some night courses in robotics, APL, that kind of thing. And then, all of a sudden, I just seemed to know more about it than anybody else. Michael Crichton Runaway (film, 1984) Theories are just fantasies. And they change. Michael Crichton Chance is the only source of true novelty. Francis Harry Compton Crick Life Itself (1982) In my experience most mathematicians are intellectually lazy and especially dislike reading experimental papers. He [Ren´e Thom] seemed to have very strong biological intuitions but unfortunately of negative sign. Francis Harry Compton Crick What Mad Pursuit (1988) . . . it occurred to me that if the automobile had followed the same development cyclee as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone. Robert X. Cringely InfoWorld, 6–Mar–1989 To say a thing is natural is to condone it, never to praise it. Quentin Crisp (5–Feb–1978) Health consists of having the same diseases as one’s neighbors. Quentin Crisp I beseech you, in the bowels of Christ, think it possible you may be mistaken. Oliver Cromwell Letter to the Church of Scotland (3–Aug–1650) listen; theres a hell of a good universe next door: lets go. e. e. cummings pity this busy monster, manunkind (1944) all ignorance toboggans into know and trudges up to ignorance again. e. e. cummings all ignorance toboggans into know (1959) There are, of course, several things in Ontario that are more dangerous than wolves. For instance, the step-ladder. J. W. Curran Inability is often the mother of restriction, and restriction is the great mother of inventive performance. Holger Czukay Despite, or perhaps because of, his appreciation of the aesthetics of mathematics, he never used a calculator or computer and wrote all his papers in pencil so that he could go back and correct them. He travelled to work by bus and could often be seen wandering around the university campus carrying a pineapple, which he used in his classes to illustrate natural symmetry. Daily Telegraph Obituary of H. S. M. (‘Donald’) Coxeter, 03-Apr-2003

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If a train station is where the train stops, what’s a work station? Roger B. Dannenberg To think is to differ. Clarence Darrow Mathematics seems to endow one with something like a new sense. Charles Robert Darwin A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn’t there. Charles Robert Darwin Do not fear mistakes. There are none. Miles Davis I’ll play with it first and tell you what it is later. Miles Davis All too many mathematical textbooks today have a nervous, breathless quality in which a fixed goal is systematically and inexorably pursued. The goal having been attained, one is left not with a feeling of exhilaration but of anticlimax. Nowhere in such books is any appreciation to be found of why or how the goal is important, other, possibly, than the statement that the goal may now be used as the starting point for reaching other, deeper goals, which considerations of space, alas, prevent the author from pursuing. Blame it on Euclid, if you want, for the tendency was already in his exposition. Philip J. Davis & Reuben Hersh The Mathematical Experience (1983), Chapter 3 Most writers on the subject seem to agree that the typical working mathematician is a Platonist on weekdays and a formalist on Sundays. Philip J. Davis & Reuben Hersh The Mathematical Experience (1983), Chapter 7 In the realm of ideas, of mental objects, those ideas whose properties are reproducible are called mathematical objects, and the study of mental objects with reproducible properties is called mathematics. Philip J. Davis & Reuben Hersh The Mathematical Experience (1983), Chapter 8 As mathematicians, we know that we invent ideal objects, and then try to discover the facts about them. Any philosophy which cannot accommodate this knowledge is too small. We need not retreat to formalism when attacked by philosophers. Neither do we have to admit that our belief in the objectivity of mathematical truth is Platonic in the sense of requiring an ideal reality apart from human thought. Lakatos’ and Popper’s work shows that modern philosophy is capable of accepting the truth of mathematical experience. This means accepting the legitimacy of mathematics as it is: fallible, correctible, and meaningful. Philip J. Davis & Reuben Hersh The Mathematical Experience (1983), Chapter 8 “Just go on,” Jean Le Rond d’Alembert is supposed to have assured a hesitating mathematical friend, “and faith [in infinitesimals] will soon return.” Philip J. Davis & Reuben Hersh The Mathematical Experience (1983) The most important of my discoveries have been suggested to me by my failures. Humphrey Davy Language is not only the vehicle of thought, it is a great and efficient instrument in thinking. Humphrey Davy

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Suppose we loosely define a religion as any discipline whose foundations rest on an element of faith, irrespective of any element of reason which may be present. Quantum mechanics for example would be a religion under this definition. But mathematics would hold the unique position of being the only branch of theology possessing a rigorous demonstration of the fact that it should be so classified. F. De Sua (1956) I love being a writer. What I cant stand is the paperwork. Peter De Vries A marveilous newtrality have these things mathematicall, and also a strange participation between things supernaturall and things naturall. John Dee I believe that professional wrestling is clean and everything else in the world is fixed. Frank Deford A problem of statistical inference or, more simply, a statistics problem is a problem in which data that have been generated in accordance with some unknown probability distribution must be analyzed and some type of inference about the unknown distribution must be made. M. H. DeGroot Probability and Statistics (2nd ed. 1989) Misinterpretation is the most deadly of human sins. Lester del Rey Pstalemate (1971) Little did they know how much they didn’t know. ¨ck Max Delbru Mind From Matter? (1986) The only useful function of a statistician is to make predictions, and thus to provide a basis for action. William Edwards Deming JASA It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory. William Edwards Deming Nothing exists except atoms and empty space; everything else is opinion. Democrites of Abdera Diogenes Laertius IX Nothing is so easy as to deceive one’s self; for what we wish, that we readily believe. Demosthenes The juvenile sea squirt wanders through the sea searching for a suitable rock or hunk of coral to cling to and make its home for life. For this task, it has a rudimentary nervous system. When it finds its spot and takes root, it doesn’t need its brain anymore so it eats it! (It’s rather like getting tenure.) Daniel C. Dennett Consciousness Explained (1991) There is no such thing as philosophy-free science; there is only science whose philosophical baggage is taken on board without examination. Daniel C. Dennett . . . thus each truth discovered was a rule available in the discovery of subsequent ones. ´ Descartes Rene Discourse on Method (1637)

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For to be possessed of a vigorous mind is not enough; the prime requisite is rightly to apply it. ´ Descartes Rene Discourse on Method (1637) If you would be a real seeker after truth, you must at least once in your life doubt, as far as possible, all things. ´ Descartes Rene Discourse on Method (1637) It is very certain that, when it is not in our power to determine what is true, we ought to act according to what is most probable. ´ Descartes Rene Discourse on Method (1637) I hope that posterity will judge me kindly, not only as to the things which I have explained, but also as to those which I have intentionally omitted so as to leave to others the pleasure of discovery. ´ Descartes Rene La Geometrie (1637) I write when I’m inspired, and I see to it that I’m inspired at nine o’clock every morning. Peter DeVries the Observer, Sayings of the Week, 28–Sept–1980 We have already noticed the difference in the attitude of a spectator and of an agent or participant. The former is indifferent to what is going on; one result is just as good as another, since each is just something to look at. The latter is bound up with what is going on; its outcome makes a difference to him. John Dewey Democracy and Education (1916), Ch. 10 It (science) involves an intelligent and persistent endeavor to revise current beliefs so as to weed out what is erroneous, to add to their accuracy, and, above all, to give them such shape that the dependencies of the various facts upon one another may be as obvious as possible. John Dewey Democracy and Education (1916), Ch. 13 The empiric easily degenerates into the quack. He does not know where his knowledge begins or leaves off, and so when he gets beyond routine conditions he begins to pretend—to make claims for which there is no justification, and to trust to luck and to ability to impose upon others—to “bluff.” John Dewey Democracy and Education (1916), Ch. 20 We only think when confronted with a problem. John Dewey Anybody with a genuine system of prediction would be using it, not selling it. Philip K. Dick Solar Lottery (1955) Those who refused to respond to new stimulus would perish. Adapt or perish. Philip K. Dick Time Out of Joint (1959) Sometimes one must try anything, it is no disgrace. On the contrary, it is a sign of wisdom. Philip K. Dick The Man in the High Castle (1962) Synchronicity theory: You can’t fart without changing the balance in the universe. Philip K. Dick The Man in the High Castle (1962)

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I’m not much but I’m all I have. Philip K. Dick Martian Time Slip (1964) I never liked the idea of doing what a machine says. I hate having to salute something built in a factory. Philip K. Dick Story notes on 1954’s ‘Service Call’ (1976) It’s not what happened but how it is told. Philip K. Dick (1976) Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away. Philip K. Dick How to Build A Universe That Doesn’t Fall Apart Two Days Later (1978) Can we consider the universe real, and if so, in what way? Philip K. Dick Story notes on ‘The Unreconstructed M’ in M. Hurst (ed) ‘The Golden Man’ (1980) Should we have a leader or should we think for ourselves? Obviously the latter in principle. But—sometimes there lies a gulf between what is theoretically right and that which is practical. Philip K. Dick Story notes on ‘The Last Of The Masters’ in M. Hurst (ed) ‘The Golden Man’ (1980) Either I’ve invented a whole new logic or, ahem, I’m not playing with a full deck. Philip K. Dick Story notes to ‘The Golden Man’ (1980) How much of what we call ‘reality’ is actually out there or rather within our own head? Philip K. Dick Story notes on ‘The Electric Ant’ in ‘A Philip K. Dick Bibliography’ by D. J. H. Levack (1981) What is possible and what is not possible is not objectively known but is, rather, a subjective belief on the part of the author and of the reader. Philip K. Dick letter (1981) It is futile to try to make the universe add up. But I guess we must go on anyhow. Philip K. Dick (1981) The bearings of this observation lays in the application of it. Charles Dickens Dombey and Son (1848) ch. 23 Now what I want is Facts . . . Facts alone are wanted in life. Charles Dickens Hard Times (1854) bk. 1, ch. 1 We have three principal means: observation of nature, reflection, and experiment. Observation gathers the facts reflection combines them, experiment verifies the result of the combination. It is essential that the observation of nature be assiduous, that reflection be profound, and that experimentation be exact. Rarely does one see these abilities in combination. And so, creative geniuses are not common. Denis Diderot On the Interpretation of Nature (1753), XV

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Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians. Edsger Wybe Dijkstra How do we tell truths that might hurt? (EWD498, 18–June–1975) The tools we use have a profound (and devious!) influence on our thinking habits, and, therefore, on our thinking abilities. Edsger Wybe Dijkstra How do we tell truths that might hurt? (EWD498, 18–June–1975) The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. Edsger Wybe Dijkstra How do we tell truths that might hurt? (EWD498, 18–June–1975) Simplicity is prerequisite for reliability. Edsger Wybe Dijkstra How do we tell truths that might hurt? (EWD498, 18–June–1975) Software engineering, of course, presents itself as another worthy cause, but that is eyewash: if you carefully read it’s literature and analyse what its devotees actually do, you will discover that software engineering has accepted as its charter “How to program if you cannot.” Edsger Wybe Dijkstra On the cruelty of really teaching computing science (EWD1036, Austin, 2–Dec–1988) If we wish to count lines of code, we should not regard them as lines produced but as lines spent. Edsger Wybe Dijkstra On the cruelty of really teaching computing science (EWD1036, Austin, 2–Dec–1988) Computing’s core challenge is how not to make a mess of it. Edsger Wybe Dijkstra The next forty years (EWD1051, 14–June–1989) Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes. Edsger Wybe Dijkstra The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim. Edsger Wybe Dijkstra A theory with mathematical beauty is more likely to be correct than an ugly one that fits some experimental data. God is a mathematician of a very high order, and He used very advanced mathematics in constructing the universe. Paul Adrien Maurice Dirac ‘Evolution of the Physicists Picture of Nature’, Scientific American, May 1963 I think that there is a moral to this story, namely that it is more important to have beauty in one’s equations that to have them fit experiment. If Schroedinger had been more confident of his work, he could have published it some months earlier, and he could have published a more accurate equation . . . It seems that if one is working from the point of view of getting beauty in one’s equations, and if one has really a sound insight, one is on a sure line of progress. If there is not complete agreement between the results of one’s work and experiment, one should not allow oneself to be too discouraged, because the discrepancy may well be due to minor features that are not properly taken into account and that will get cleared up with further development of the theory. Paul Adrien Maurice Dirac ‘Evolution of the Physicists Picture of Nature’, Scientific American, May 1963 Mathematics is the tool specially suited for dealing with abstract concepts of any kind and there is no limit to its power in this field. Paul Adrien Maurice Dirac

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If you can dream it, you can do it. Walt Disney It’s kind of fun to do the impossible. Walt Disney I hate definitions. Benjamin Disraeli Vivian Grey (1826) Where knowledge ends, religion begins. Benjamin Disraeli It is much easier to be critical than to be correct. Benjamin Disraeli To be conscious that you are ignorant is a great step to knowledge. Benjamin Disraeli As a rule, he or she who has the most information will have the greatest success in life. Benjamin Disraeli You know how dumb the average guy is? Well, by definition, half of them are even dumber than that J. R. ‘Bob’ Dobbs The average Ph.D. thesis is nothing but a transference of bones from one graveyard to another. J. Frank Dobie A Texan in England (1945) Supporting Windows is like buying a puppy. The dog only cost $100, but we spent another $500 cleaning the carpet. Marc Dodge ‘Reality Check’, Open Computing, December 1994 The best way to accelerate a Macintosh is at 9.8 m/sec/sec. Marcus Dolengo Basic research is not the same as development. A crash programme for the latter may be successful; but for the former it is like trying to make nine women pregnant at once in the hope of getting a baby in a month’s time. Sir William Richard Shaboe Doll New Scientist, 18–Nov–1976, page 375 Pereant qui ante nos nostra dixerunt. To the devil with those who published before us. Aelius Donatus 4th Century How often have I said to you that when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth? Sir Arthur Conan Doyle The Sign of Four (1890) ch. 6 You know my methods. Apply them. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle The Sign of Four (1890) ch. 6

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You can, for example, never foretell what any one man will do, but you can say with precision what an average number will be up to. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle The Sign of Four (1890) You see, but you do not observe. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes (1892) ‘A Scandal in Bohemia’ It is a capital mistake to theorise before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes (1892) ‘A Scandal in Bohemia’ It is quite a three-pipe problem, and I beg that you won’t speak to me for fifty minutes. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes (1892) ‘The Red-headed League’ My life is spent in one long effort to escape from the commonplaces of existence. These little problems help me to do so. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes (1892) ‘The Red-headed League’ Depend upon it, there is nothing so unnatural as the commonplace. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes (1892) ‘A Case of Identity’ It has long been an axiom of mine that the little things are infinitely the most important. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes (1892) ‘A Case of Identity’ It is true that you have missed everything of importance, but you have hit upon the method. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes (1892) ‘A Case of Identity’ There is nothing more deceptive than an obvious fact. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes (1892) ‘The Boscombe Valley Mystery’ You know my method. It is founded upon the observance of trifles. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes (1892) ‘The Boscombe Valley Mystery’ “I can see nothing,” said I, handing it back to my friend. “On the contrary, Watson, you can see everything. You fail, however, to reason from what you see. You are too timid in drawing your inferences.” Sir Arthur Conan Doyle The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes (1892) ‘The Adventure of the Blue Carbuncle’ It is an old maxim of mine that when you have excluded the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes (1892) ‘The Adventure of the Beryl Coronet’ “Data! data! data!” he cried impatiently. “I can’t make bricks without clay.” Sir Arthur Conan Doyle The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes (1892) ‘The Adventure of the Copper Beeches’

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Ah! my dear Watson, there we come into those realms of conjecture, where the most logical mind may be at fault. Each may form his own hypothesis upon the present evidence, and yours is as likely to be correct as mine. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle The Return of Sherlock Holmes (1905) ‘The Adventure of the Empty House’ We all learn by experience, and your lesson this time is that you should never lose sight of the alternative. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle The Return of Sherlock Holmes (1905) ‘The Adventure of Black Peter’ Still, it is an error to argue in front of your data. You find yourself insensibly twisting them round to fit your theories. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle His Last Bow (1917) ‘The Adventure of Wisteria Lodge’ “You see everything.” “I see no more than you, but I have trained myself to notice what I see.” Sir Arthur Conan Doyle The Case-Book of Sherlock Holmes (1927) ‘The Adventure of the Blanched Soldier’ “That process,” said I, “starts upon the supposition that when you have eliminated all which is impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.” Sir Arthur Conan Doyle The Case-Book of Sherlock Holmes (1927) ‘The Adventure of the Blanched Soldier’ One forms provisional theories and then waits for time or fuller knowledge to explode them. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle The Case-Book of Sherlock Holmes (1927) ‘The Adventure of the Sussex Vampire’ ‘I don’t admit that a fresh illustration is an explanation,’ said I with some asperity. ‘Bravo, Watson! A very dignified and logical remonstrance.’ Sir Arthur Conan Doyle The Case-Book of Sherlock Holmes (1927) ‘The Disappearance of Lady Frances Carfax’ He seemed to live in some high abstract region of surds and conic sections, with little to connect him with ordinary life. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle The Case-Book of Sherlock Holmes (1927) ‘The Adventure of the Lion’s Mane’ Amberley excelled at chess—one mark, Watson, of a scheming mind. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle The Case-Book of Sherlock Holmes (1927) ‘The Adventure of the Retired Colourman’ The Romans didn’t find algebra very challenging, because X was always 10. Aaron Dragushan You know, Billy is a very sensitive child. . . . He’s a peculiarly sensitive child—I’m afraid he’s not quite like other children, and he simply hates Mathematics. Ruth Draper The Italian Lesson (musical monologue 1925) If a coin falls heads repeatedly one hundred times; then the statistically ignorant would claim that the ‘law of averages’ must almost compel it to fall tails next time, any statistician would point out the independence of each trial, and the uncertainty of the next outcome. But any fool can see that the coin must be double headed. Ludwik Drazwk There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all. Peter F. Drucker

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Wherever you see a successful business, someone once made a courageous decision. Peter F. Drucker The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn’t being said. Peter F. Drucker The best way to predict the future is to create it. Peter F. Drucker He who will not reason is a bigot; he who cannot is a fool; and he who dares not is a slave. Sir William Drummond Academical Questions (1805) A man should be learned in several sciences, and should have a reasonable, philosophical and in some measure a mathematical head, to be a complete and excellent poet. John Dryden Notes and Observations on The Empress of Morocco (1674) Consequences, shmonsequences! So long as I’m rich! Daffy Duck All generalizations are dangerous, even this one. Alexandre Dumas fils Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. Lord Dunsany Quoted in J. R. Newman (ed.) The World of Mathematics (1956) Sixty years ago I knew everything; now I know nothing; education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance. Will Durant It takes immense genius to represent, simply and sincerely, what we see right in front of us. Edmond Duranty And since geometry is the right foundation of all painting, I have decided to teach its rudiments and principles to all youngsters eager for art. . . ¨rer Albrecht Du Course in the Art of Measurement (1525) As I get older I seem to believe less and less and yet to believe what I do believe more and more. Bishop of Durham the Observer, Sayings of the Week, 6–Nov–1988 For a physicist mathematics is not just a tool by means of which phenomena can be calculated, it is the main source of concepts and principles by means of which new theories can be created. Freeman Dyson ‘Mathematics in the Physical Sciences’, Scientific American, 211(3):129–146 (1964) If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster. Clint Eastwood History teaches that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives. Abba Eban Speech, 16–Dec–1970 His ignorance is encyclopaedic. Abba Eban

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Science is not a sacred cow. Science is a horse. Don’t worship it. Feed it. Aubrey Eben [A novel is] a machine for generating interpretations. Umbert Eco the Observer, 7–Apr–1985 Proof is an idol before whom the pure mathematician tortures himself. Sir Arthur Stanley Eddington The Nature of the Physical World (1928) Human life is proverbially uncertain; few things are more certain than the solvency of a life-insurance company. Sir Arthur Stanley Eddington It is also a good rule not to put overmuch confidence in the observational results that are put forward until they are confirmed by theory. Sir Arthur Stanley Eddington We used to think that if we knew one, we knew two, because one and one are two. We are finding that we must learn a great deal more about ‘and’. Sir Arthur Stanley Eddington Long experience has taught me that to be criticized is not always to be wrong. Anthony Eden in the ‘Daily Herald’ 10–Nov–1956 Genius is one percent inspiration, ninety-nine percent perspiration. Thomas Alva Edison (1903) I believe that the motion picture is destined to revolutionize our educational system and that in a few years it will supplant largely, if not entirely, the use of textbooks. Thomas Alva Edison (1922) We don’t know a millionth of one percent about anything. Thomas Alva Edison I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work. Thomas Alva Edison Just because something doesn’t do what you planned it to do doesn’t mean it’s useless. Thomas Alva Edison I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward. Thomas Alva Edison To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk. Thomas Alva Edison There is no expedient to which a man will not go to avoid the labor of thinking. Thomas Alva Edison What used to be called prejudice is now called a null hypothesis. A. W. F. Edwards Nature 233: 18

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Why God Never Received Tenure at the University 1. Because He had only one major publication. 2. And it was in Hebrew. 3. And it had no references. 4. And it wasn’t published in a refereed journal. 5. And some even doubt He wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that He created the world but what has He published/done since ? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The scientific community has had a very rough time trying to repeat His results. Alon Efrat A theory has only the alternative of being right or wrong. A model has a third possibility: it may be right, but irrelevant. Manfred Eigen The Physicist’s Conception of Nature (1973), ed. Jagdish Mehra Raffiniert ist der Herr Gott, aber boshaft ist er nicht. (God is subtle, but he is not malicious.) Albert Einstein Remark, May 1921 As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. Albert Einstein Address to Prussian Academy of Science, 27–Jan–1921 I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world. Albert Einstein Interview, Saturday Evening Post, 26–Oct–1929 If my theory of relativity is proven successful, Germany will claim me as a German and France will declare that I am a citizen of the world. Should my theory prove untrue, France will say that I am a German and Germany will declare that I am a Jew. Albert Einstein Address at the Sorbonne, Paris (1929). The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science. Albert Einstein What I Believe (1930) I never think of the future. It comes soon enough. Albert Einstein Interview (Dec. 1930) Pure mathematics is, in its way, the poetry of logical ideas. Albert Einstein Letter, New York Times, 5–May–1935 Most of the fundamental ideas of science are essentially simple, and may, as a rule, be expressed in a language comprehensible to everyone. Albert Einstein The Evolution of Physics (1938) God does not care about our mathematical difficulties. He integrates empirically. Albert Einstein in L. Infeld, ‘Quest’ (1942)

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Perfection of means and confusion of goals seem, in my opinion, to characterize our age. Albert Einstein Out of My Later Years (1950) It seems that the human mind has first to construct forms, independently, before we can find them in things. Albert Einstein Ideas and Opinions (1954) Commonsense is nothing more than a deposit of prejudices laid down by the mind before you reach eighteen. Albert Einstein in E. T. Bell ‘Mathematics, Queen and Servant of the Sciences’ (1952) I learned many years ago never to waste time trying to convince my colleagues. Albert Einstein in R. G. Colodny ed.,‘Logic, Laws and Life’ (1977) Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler. Albert Einstein quoted in ‘Reader’s Digest’, Oct. 1977 Equations are more important to me, because politics is for the present, but an equation is something for eternity. Albert Einstein in Stephen Hawking, ‘A Brief History of Time’ (1988) We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality. Albert Einstein The whole of science is nothing more than a refinement of everyday thinking. Albert Einstein If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn’t be called research, would it? Albert Einstein The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible. Albert Einstein Art is the expression of the profoundest thoughts in the simplest way. Albert Einstein But in physics I soon learned to scent out the paths that led to the depths, and to disregard everything else, all the many things that clutter up the mind, and divert it from the essential. The hitch in all this was, of course, the fact that one had to cram all this stuff into ones mind for the examination, whether one liked it or not. Albert Einstein Gott w¨ urfelt nicht. (God does not play dice.) Albert Einstein Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. Albert Einstein When I examine myself and my methods of thought, I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy has meant more to me than my talent for absorbing positive knowledge. Albert Einstein

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The formulation of a problem is often more essential than its solution which may be merely a matter of mathematical or experimental skill. Albert Einstein Not everything that can be counted counts; and not everything that counts can be counted. Albert Einstein sign hanging in his office at Princeton Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former. Albert Einstein Don’t be too hard on me. Everyone has to sacrifice at the altar of stupidity from time to time. Albert Einstein The important thing is not to stop questioning. Albert Einstein How can it be that mathematics, being after all a product of human thought independent of experience, is so admirably adapted to the objects of reality? Albert Einstein No amount of experimentation can ever prove me right; a single experiment can prove me wrong. Albert Einstein If I can’t picture it, I can’t understand it. Albert Einstein The right to search for the truth implies also a duty; one must not conceal any part of what one has recognized to be the truth. Albert Einstein The wireless telegraph is not difficult to understand. The ordinary telegraph is like a very long cat. You pull the tail in New York, and it meows in Los Angeles. The wireless is the same, only without the cat. Albert Einstein If the facts don’t fit the theory, change the facts. Albert Einstein Marvellous, what ideas the young people have these days. But I don’t believe a word of it. Albert Einstein If a cluttered desk signs a cluttered mind, Of what, then, is an empty desk a sign? Albert Einstein The search for truth is more precious than its possession. Albert Einstein Everything that is really great and inspiring is created by the individual who can labor in freedom. Albert Einstein It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education. Albert Einstein It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity. Albert Einstein What really interests me is whether God had any choice in the creation of the world. Albert Einstein

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He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him a spinal cord would fully suffice. Albert Einstein I want to know God’s thoughts. . . the rest are details. Albert Einstein It is a precarious undertaking to say anything reliable about aims and intentions. Albert Einstein The further the spiritual evolution of mankind advances, the more certain it seems to me that the path to genuine religiosity does not lie through the fear of life, and the fear of death, and blind faith, but through striving after rational knowledge. Albert Einstein Things are more like they are now than they ever were before. Dwight D. Eisenhower Plans are nothing. Planning is everything. Dwight D. Eisenhower Farming looks easy when your plow is a pencil and you’re a thousand miles from a cornfield. Dwight D. Eisenhower Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving in words evidence of the fact. George Eliot Impressions of Theophrastus Such (1879) Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge? Where is the knowledge we have lost in information? T. S. (Thomas Stearns) Eliot The Rock (1934) A good deal of confusion could be avoided, if we refrained from setting before the group, what can be the aim only of the individual; and before society as a whole, what can be the aim only of the group. T. S. (Thomas Stearns) Eliot Notes Towards the Definition of Culture (1948) You are in big trouble when you start writing software to impress girls. Bruce Ellis The Hitchhiker’s Guide to VMS (1990) What we call ‘progress’ is the exchange of one nuisance for another nuisance. Henry Havelock Ellis Impressions and Comments (1914) 31–July–1912 It is here [in mathematics] that the artist has the fullest scope of his imagination. Henry Havelock Ellis The Dance of Life (1923) blackadder: Try again. One. . . two. . . three. . . four ! So how many are there? baldrick: Three. blackadder: What? baldrick: . . . and that one. Ben Elton Blackadder II: Head (1986)

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baldrick: I think I can explain, sir. blackadder: Can you, Baldrick? baldrick: . . . No. Ben Elton Blackadder IV: Corporal Punishment (1989) A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do. Ralph Waldo Emerson Essays (1841): Self Reliance Every opinion reacts on him who utters it. Ralph Waldo Emerson Essays (1841): Compensation People see only what they are prepared to see. Ralph Waldo Emerson Journals (1863) In my walks, every man I meet is my superior in some way, and in that I learn from him. Ralph Waldo Emerson There is no knowledge that is not power. Ralph Waldo Emerson (see also Francis Bacon) I wish to say what I think & feel today, with the proviso that tomorrow perhaps I shall contradict it all. Ralph Waldo Emerson The religion that is afraid of science dishonors God and commits suicide. Ralph Waldo Emerson The things taught in colleges and schools are not an education, but the means of education. Ralph Waldo Emerson By necessity, by proclivity, and by delight, we all quote. In fact, it is as difficult to appropriate the thoughts of others as it is to invent. Ralph Waldo Emerson Do not go where the path may lead; go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. Ralph Waldo Emerson Truth is beautiful, without doubt; but so are lies. Ralph Waldo Emerson In science, each new point of view calls forth a revolution in nomenclature. Friedrich Engels Marx-Engels Collected Works An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory. Friedrich Engels Without analysis, no synthesis. Friedrich Engels Make an exhaustive list of everything you might do & do the last thing on the list. Brian Eno and Peter Schmidt Oblique Strategies (1975)

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It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows. Epictetus Nothing is enough for the man for whom enough is too little. Epicurus When I get a little money, I buy books; and if any is left, I buy food and clothes. Desiderius Erasmus If numbers aren’t beautiful, I don’t know what is. ˝s Pal Erdo Every human activity, good or bad, except mathematics, must come to an end. ˝s Pal Erdo The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon. Sir John Eric Ericksen By keenly confronting the enigmas that surround us, and by considering and analyzing the observations that I had made, I ended up in the domain of mathematics. Although I am absolutely without training in the exact sciences, I often seem to have more in common with mathematicians than with my fellow artists. Maurits Cornelis Escher Although to penetrate into the intimate mysteries of nature and thence to learn the true causes of phenomena is not allowed to us, nevertheless it can happen that a certain fictive hypothesis may suffice for explaining many phenomena. Leonhard Euler (1748) Chance fights ever on the side of the prudent. Euripides Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish. Euripides Mighty is geometry; joined with art, irresistible. Euripides A formal manipulator in mathematics often experiences the discomforting feeling that his pencil surpasses him in intelligence. Howard W. Eves In Mathematical Circles (1969) When it is not necessary to change, it is necessary not to change. Lucius Cary (Lord Falkland) Discourses of Infallibility (1660) The lecturer should give the audience full reason to believe that all his powers have been exerted for their pleasure and instruction. Michael Faraday Work, finish, publish. Michael Faraday A centre of excellence is, by definition, a place where second class people may perform first class work. Michael Faraday

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To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer. Farmers’ Almanac (1978) Intellectual brilliance is no guarantee against being dead wrong. David Fasold Between grief and nothing I will take grief. William Faulkner An education isn’t how much you have committed to memory, or even how much you know. It’s being able to differentiate between what you do know and what you don’t. It’s knowing where to go to find out what you need to know; and it’s knowing how to use the information you get. William Feather Before I came here I was confused about this subject. Having listened to your lecture I am still confused. But on a higher level. Enrico Fermi The best education consists in immunizing people against systematic attempts at education. Paul Karl Feyerabend Farewell to Reason (1987) The principle of science, the definition, almost, is the following: The test of all knowledge is experiment. Experiment is the sole judge of scientific “truth.” But what is the source of knowledge? Where do the laws that are to be tested come from? Experiment, itself, helps to produce these laws, in the sense that it gives us hints. But also needed is imagination to create from these hints the great generalizations—to guess at the wonderful, simple, but very strange patterns beneath them all, and then to experiment to check again whether we have made the right guess. Richard Phillips Feynman The Feynman Lectures on Physics (1963) We have a habit in writing articles published in scientific journals to make the work as finished as possible, to cover up all the tracks, to not worry about the blind alleys or describe how you had the wrong idea at first, and so on. So there isn’t any place to publish, in a dignified manner, what you actually did in order to get to do the work. Richard Phillips Feynman Nobel Lecture (1966) It is necessary for the very existence of science that minds exist which do not allow that nature must satisfy some preconceived conditions. Richard Phillips Feynman The Character of Physical Law (1967) To those who do not know mathematics it is difficult to get across a real feeling as to the beauty, the deepest beauty, of nature. . . If you want to learn about nature, to appreciate nature, it is necessary to understand the language that she speaks in. Richard Phillips Feynman The Character of Physical Law (1967) Science is the belief in the ignorance of experts. Richard Phillips Feynman What is Science? (1969) For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations, for Nature cannot be fooled. Richard Phillips Feynman What Do You Care What Other People Think? (1988)

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I was born not knowing and have had only a little time to change that here and there. Richard Phillips Feynman Our imagination is stretched to the utmost, not, as in fiction, to imagine things which are not really there, but just to comprehend those things which are there. Richard Phillips Feynman When a scientist doesn’t know the answer to a problem, he is ignorant. When he has a hunch as to what the result is, he is uncertain. And when he is pretty darn sure of what the result is going to be, he is in some doubt. Richard Phillips Feynman . . . it doesn’t matter how beautiful your theory is, it doesn’t matter how smart you are—if it doesn’t agree with experiment, it’s wrong. Richard Phillips Feynman Economists state their GNP growth projections to the nearest tenth of a percentage point to prove they have a sense of humor. Edgar R. Fiedler Ask five economists and you’ll get five different explanations (six if one went to Harvard). Edgar R. Fiedler I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally. W. C. Fields If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, again. Then quit. There’s no use being a damn fool about it. W. C. Fields Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. W. C. Fields While realizing that the solution of problems is one of the lowest forms of Mathematical research, and that, in general, it has no scientific value, yet its educational value cannot be over estimated. It is the ladder by which the mind ascends into higher fields of original research and investigation. Many dormant minds have been aroused into activity through the mastery of a single problem. Benjamin Franklin Finkel American Mathematical Monthly 1 (1894) One of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs. Robert Firth A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. Martin Henry Fischer Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau. Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University (1929) To call in the statistician after the experiment is done may be no more than asking him to perform a post-mortem examination: he may be able to say what the experiment died of. Sir Ronald Aylmer Fisher address to Indian Statistical Congress (1938?) Natural selection is a mechanism for generating an exceedingly high degree of improbability. Sir Ronald Aylmer Fisher

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“I was counting the waves”, replied Amory gravely, “I’m going in for statistics”. F. Scott Fitzgerald This Side of Paradise (1920), bk. 2 ch. 4 The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function. F. Scott Fitzgerald The Crack-Up (1936) You don’t write because you want to say something. You write because you’ve got something to say. F. Scott Fitzgerald The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it’s unfamiliar territory. Paul Fix You couldn’t get a clue during the clue mating season in a field full of horny clues if you smeared your body with clue musk and did the clue mating dance. Edward Flaherty Poetry is as exact a science as geometry. Gustave Flaubert Letter to Louise Colet, 14–Aug–1853 Nothing is more humiliating than to see idiots succeed in enterprises we have failed in. Gustave Flaubert Sentimental Education (1869) All you have to do to make something interesting is to look at it long enough. Gustave Flaubert Education’s purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one. Malcolm S. Forbes Whether you believe you can, or whether you believe you can’t, you’re absolutely right. Henry Ford The best we can do is size up the chances, calculate the risks involved, estimate our ability to deal with them, and then make our plans with confidence. Henry Ford Don’t find fault, find a remedy. Henry Ford Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently. Henry Ford You can’t build a reputation on what you’re going to do. Henry Ford Never hold any idea so dear that it can’t be discarded should a better one come along. Charles Fort Spoon feeding in the long run teaches us nothing but the shape of the spoon. E. M. Forster the Observer, Sayings of the Week, 7–Oct–1951 I would rather live in a world where my life is surrounded by mystery than live in a world so small that my mind could comprehend it. Harry Emerson Fosdick Riverside Sermons (1958)

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It is always hard when reality intrudes on belief. Alan Dean Foster Cyber Way (1990) Writing is easy. All you do is stare at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead. Gene Fowler Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand. Martin Fowler Refactoring: Improving the Design of Existing Code (1999) To know is nothing at all; to imagine is everything. Anatole France (Jacques-Anatole-Fran cois Thibault) The Crime of Sylvester Bernard (1881) When a thing has been said and said well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it. Anatole France (Jacques-Anatole-Fran cois Thibault) I prefer the errors of enthusiasm to the indifference of wisdom. Anatole France (Jacques-Anatole-Fran cois Thibault) Chance is the pseudonym God uses when He’d rather not sign His own name. Anatole France (Jacques-Anatole-Fran cois Thibault) If 50 million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing. Anatole France (Jacques-Anatole-Fran cois Thibault) An education isn’t how much you have committed to memory, or even how much you know. It’s being able to differentiate between what you do know and what you don’t. Anatole France (Jacques-Anatole-Fran cois Thibault) Start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible. St. Francis of Assisi I continu’d this method some few years, but gradually left it, retaining only the habit of expressing myself in terms of modest diffidence; never using, when I advanced any thing that may possibly be disputed, the words certainly, undoubtedly, or any others that give the air of positiveness to an opinion; but rather say, I conceive or apprehend a thing to be so and so; it appears to me, or I should think it so or so, for such and such reasons; or I imagine it to be so; or it is so, if I am not mistaken. This habit, I believe, has been of great advantage to me when I have had occasion to inculcate my opinions, and persuade men into measures that I have been from time to time engag’d in promoting; and, as the chief ends of conversation are to inform or to be informed, to please or to persuade, I wish well-meaning, sensible men would not lessen their power of doing good by a positive, assuming manner, that seldom fails to disgust, tends to create opposition, and to defeat every one of those purposes for which speech was given to us, to wit, giving or receiving information or pleasure. Benjamin Franklin The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin (1791) Man is a tool-making animal Benjamin Franklin quoted in Boswell’s ‘Life of Samuel Johnson’ 7–Apr–1778 What science can there be more noble, more excellent, more useful for men, more admirably high and demonstrative, than this of the mathematics? Benjamin Franklin All mankind is divided into three classes: those who are immovable, those who are movable; and those who move. Benjamin Franklin 68

Simplicity is the soul of efficiency. Richard Austin Freeman The Eye of Osiris (1911) Just as no one can be forced into belief, so no one can be forced into unbelief. Sigmund Freud The Future of an Illusion (1927) The only relevant test of the validity of a hypothesis is comparison of prediction with experience. Milton Friedman Essays in Positive Economics (1953) We dance round in a ring and suppose, But the Secret sits in the middle and knows. Robert Frost The Secret Sits (1942) The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office. Robert Frost Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper. Robert Frost You can be a rank insider as well as a rank outsider. Robert Frost Love me or hate me, but spare me your indifference. Libbie Fudim God, to me, it seems is a verb not a noun proper or improper. Richard Buckminster Fuller No More Secondhand God (1963) Everything you’ve learned in school as “obvious” becomes less and less obvious as you begin to study the universe. For example, there are no solids in the universe. There’s not even a suggestion of a solid. There are no absolute continuums. There are no surfaces. There are no straight lines. Richard Buckminster Fuller When I am working on a problem, I never think about beauty. I only think of how to solve the problem. But when I am finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong. Richard Buckminster Fuller All things are difficult before they are easy. Thomas Fuller Innovation is hard to schedule. Dan Fylstra We renounce in a line, its descriptive value; in real life there are no descriptive lines, description is an accidental trace of a man on things, it is not bound up with the essential life and constant structure of the body. Naum Gabo The Realistic Manifesto (1920)

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One of the best ways of avoiding necessary and even urgent tasks is to seem to be busily employed on things that are already done. John Kenneth Galbraith The Affluent Society (1958) ch. 2, sect. ii In the world of minor lunacy the behaviour of both the utterly rational and the totally insane seems equally odd. John Kenneth Galbraith The Affluent Society (1958) ch. 20, sect. ii There can be no question, however, that prolonged commitment to mathematical exercises in economics can be damaging. It leads to the atrophy of judgement and intuition. . . John Kenneth Galbraith Economics, Peace, and Laughter (1971) I am prepared to say only one twentieth of one percent of the American people reads books carefully. But that is one hundred thousand people. And that is all I ever ask for. Some people think that they must write for two hundred million Americans. This is a terrible mistake. John Kenneth Galbraith Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable. John Kenneth Galbraith The conventional view serves to protect us from the painful job of thinking. John Kenneth Galbraith Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists. John Kenneth Galbraith When people are least sure, they are often most dogmatic. John Kenneth Galbraith In questions of science the authority of a thousand is not worth the humble reasoning of a single individual. Galileo Galilei in Arago’s Eulogy on Laplace (1874) p. 164 Measure what is measurable, and make measurable what is not so. Galileo Galilei quoted by H. Weyl ‘Mathematics and the Laws of Nature’ in I. Gordon and S. Sorkin (eds.) The Armchair Science Reader (1959) I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn’t learn something from him. Galileo Galilei All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them. Galileo Galilei I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use. Galileo Galilei The Universe is a grand book which cannot be read until one first learns to comprehend the language and become familiar with the characters in which it is composed. It is written in the language of mathematics. Galileo Galilei You cannot teach a man anything, you can only help him to find it for himself. Galileo Galilei

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A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that worked. John Gall Systemantics: The Underground Text of Systems Lore (1986) Whenever you can, count. Francis Galton I know of scarcely anything so apt to impress the imagination as the wonderful form of cosmic order expressed by the “Law of Frequency of Error”. The law would have been personified by the Greeks and deified, if they had known of it. It reigns with serenity and in complete self-effacement, amidst the wildest confusion. The huger the mob, and the greater the apparent anarchy, the more perfect is its sway. It is the supreme law of Unreason. Whenever a large sample of chaotic elements are taken in hand and marshaled in the order of their magnitude, an unsuspected and most beautiful form of regularity proves to have been latent all along. Francis Galton In J. R. Newman (ed.) The World of Mathematics (1956) [Statistics are] the only tools by which an opening can be cut through the formidable thicket of difficulties that bars the path of those who pursue the Science of Man. Francis Galton quoted in: Karl Pearson, ‘The Life, Letters and Labours of Francis Galton’ (1914) It is unwise to be too sure of one’s own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err. Mahatma Gandhi Mathematics is not only real, but it is the only reality. That is that entire universe is made of matter, obviously. And matter is made of particles. It’s made of electrons and neutrons and protons. So the entire universe is made out of particles. Now what are the particles made out of? They’re not made out of anything. The only thing you can say about the reality of an electron is to cite its mathematical properties. So there’s a sense in which matter has completely dissolved and what is left is just a mathematical structure. Martin Gardner Focus 14, December 1994 Biographical history, as taught in our public schools, is still largely a history of boneheads: ridiculous kings and queens, paranoid political leaders, compulsive voyagers, ignorant generals—the flotsam and jetsam of historical currents. The men who radically altered history, the great scientists and mathematicians, are seldom mentioned, if at all. Martin Gardner In G. Simmons ‘Calculus Gems’ (1992) A painting is never finished—it simply stops in interesting places. Paul Gardner 640K ought to be enough for anybody. Bill Gates (1981) If you can’t make it good, make it look good. Bill Gates (1981) The obvious mathematical breakthrough would be development of an easy way to factor large prime numbers. Bill Gates The Road Ahead (1996) Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality. Jules de Gaultier

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It is not knowledge, but the act of learning, not possession but the act of getting there, which grants the greatest enjoyment. When I have clarified and exhausted a subject, then I turn away from it, in order to go into darkness again; the never-satisfied man is so strange if he has completed a structure, then it is not in order to dwell in it peacefully, but in order to begin another. I imagine the world conqueror must feel thus, who, after one kingdom is scarcely conquered, stretches out his arms for others. Karl Friedrich Gauss Letter to Bolyai, 1808. I have had my results for a long time: but I do not yet know how I am to arrive at them. Karl Friedrich Gauss You know that I write slowly. This is chiefly because I am never satisfied until I have said as much as possible in a few words, and writing briefly takes far more time than writing at length. Karl Friedrich Gauss In G. Simmons ‘Calculus Gems’ (1992) Lest men suspect your tale untrue, Keep probability in view. John Gay Fables (1727) blaster: Most human problems can be solved by an appropriate charge of high explosive. Joe Gayton Uncommon Valor (film, 1983) Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced. Barry Gehm Corollary to Clarke’s Third Law The older I get, the more I believe that at the bottom of most deep mathematical problems there is a combinatorial problem. I. M. Gel’fand Lecture to Courant Institute (1990) Reason can answer questions, but imagination has to ask them. Ralph N. Gerard No one can possibly achieve any real and lasting success or get rich in business by being a conformist. J. Paul Getty The laws of probability, so true in general, so fallacious in particular. Edward Gibbon One of the principal objects of theoretical research in my department of knowledge is to find the point of view from which the subject appears in its greatest simplicity. Josiah Willard Gibbs Mathematics is a language. Josiah Willard Gibbs Backward ran sentences until reeled the mind. Wolcott Gibbs New Yorker, 28–Nov–1936 Perplexity is the beginning of knowledge. Kahlil Gibran

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Cyberspace. A consensual hallucination experienced daily by billions of legitimate operators, in every nation, by children being taught mathematical concepts. . . William Gibson Neuromancer (1984) It doesn’t matter how fast your modem is if you’re being shelled by ethnic separatists. William Gibson ‘The Net’, BBC interview 20–Jan–1997 As I’ve said many times, the future is already here. It’s just not very evenly distributed. William Gibson NPR Interview, 30–Nov–1999 One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time. ´ Gide Andre Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it. ´ Gide Andre Art is a collaboration between God and the artist, and the less the artist does the better. ´ Gide Andre Merely corroborative detail, intended to give artistic verisimilitude to an otherwise bald and unconvincing narrative. William Schwenck Gilbert The Mikado (1885), act 2 The mathematician requires tact and good taste at every step of his work, and he has to learn to trust to his own instinct to distinguish between what is really worthy of his efforts and what is not. James Whitbread Lee Glaisher A science is any discipline in which the fool of this generation can go beyond the point reached by the genius of the last generation. Max Gluckman Have you read my book? There’ll be a test. God (attrib.) Self-respect to be nourished in the mind of the pupil, is one of the most valuable results of a well conducted education. William Godwin Thoughts on Man (1831): Of the Distribution of Talents It is however the rarest thing in the world, for any one to found his opinion, simply upon the evidence that presents itself to him of the truth of the proposition which comes before him to be examined. Where is the man that breaks loose from all the shackles that in his youth had been imposed upon hills, and says to Truth, “Go on; whithersoever thou leadest, I am prepared to follow?” To weigh the evidence for and against a proposition, in scales so balanced, that the “division of the twentieth part of one poor scruple, the estimation of a hair,” shall be recognised and submitted to, is the privilege of a mind of no ordinary fairness and firmness. William Godwin Thoughts on Man (1831): Of Belief Human mathematics, so to speak, like the length of life, are subject to the doctrine of chances. William Godwin Thoughts on Man (1831): Of Astronomy

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The subtleties of mathematics defecate the grossness of our apprehension, and supply the elements of a sounder and severer logic. William Godwin Thoughts on Man (1831): On the Material Universe Natur hat weder Kern Noch Schale. (Nature has neither kernel Nor shell.) Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Allerdings. Dem Physiker 1819/20 Nothing is more terrible than to see ignorance in action. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Maxims and Reflections (1819) It has been said that figures rule the world. Maybe. But I am sure that figures show us whether it is being ruled well or badly. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe It is not enough to have knowledge, one must also apply it. It is not enough to have wishes, one must also accomplish. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe We are never deceived; we deceive ourselves. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe When ideas fail, words come in very handy. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe It is easier to perceive error than to find truth, for the former lies on the surface and is easily seen, while the latter lies in the depth, where few are willing to search for it. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe The thinker makes a great mistake when he asks after cause and effect. They both together make up the indivisible phenomenon. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe I can promise to be sincere, but not to be impartial. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language, and forthwith it is something entirely different. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe ‘Normal’ is nothing more than a cycle on a washing machine. Whoopi Goldberg I read part of it all the way through. Sam Goldwyn Let’s have some new clich´es. Sam Goldwyn I’ll give you a definite maybe. Sam Goldwyn

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While modern technology has given people powerful new communication tools, it apparently can do nothing to alter the fact that many people have nothing useful to say. Lee Gomes San Jose Mercury News [on Shere Hite] She goes in with a prejudice and comes out with a statistic. Ellen Goodman Time, 12–Oct–1987 There are no deep theorems—only theorems that we have not understood very well. Nicholas P. Goodman Mathematical Intelligencer 5(3) Either I’ve been missing something or nothing has been going on. Karen Elizabeth Gordon If arithmetic overflow is a fatal error, some fascist pig with a read-only mind is trying to enforce machine independence. Bill Gosper HAKMEM (MIT AI Memo 239, 1972), Item 154. Quoted in Jargon File 2.9.10 (1992), eds. Eric S. Raymond & Guy L. Steele The invalid assumption that correlation implies cause is probably among the two or three most serious and common errors of human reasoning. Stephen Jay Gould The Mismeasure of Man (1981) All science is intelligent inference; excessive literalism is delusion, not a humble bowing to evidence. Stephen Jay Gould Theory-free science makes about as much sense as value-free politics. Stephen Jay Gould No one-liner can ever be optimal. Stephen Jay Gould Fantasy, abandoned by reason, produces impossible monsters; united with it, she is the mother of the arts and the origin of marvels. ´ de Goya y Lucientes Goya (Francisco Jose All my shows are great. Some of them are bad. But they are all great. Lew Grade the Observer, 14–Sept–1975 The spirit of Lisp hacking can be expressed in two sentences. Programming should be fun. Programs should be beautiful. Paul Graham ANSI Common Lisp (1995) A lot of the code in the real worl is spaghetti code, and this is probably not going to change soon. For programs that would have ended up as spaghetti anyway, the object-oriented model is good: they will at least be structured spaghetti. But for programs that might otherwise have avoided this fate, object-oriented abstractions could be more dangerous than useful. Paul Graham ANSI Common Lisp (1995)

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A few weeks later, still frustrated by this question, I came across a passage in Douglas Adams’ science fiction/comedy novel The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. There, Zaphod Beeblebrox, who has been acting unaccountably (even to himself), decides to run a series of tests on his two brains to see what is wrong. Having tried all the “standard” tests and having found nothing wrong, he proceeds to superimpose the X-rays of his two brains and look at the image through a green filter, which exposes, to his astonishment, the cauterized initials of the culprit who has been tampering with his heads! It occurred to me to try a similar approach to our problem with Pascal’s triangle. Andrew Granville Zaphod Beebleborox’s brain and the fifty-ninth row of Pascal’s triangle, Amer. Math. Monthly 99:318– 331 (1992) Economists draw straight lines through two points. Psychologists draw straight lines through one point. Sociologists do not require any points to draw straight lines. Botanists can accumulate as many as 1.0E+09 points without drawing any lines. Theoretical physicists use as many line segments as necessary to connect the points that they have. Carlo Graziani rec.humor.funny, 13–Nov–92 The overwhelming majority of people have more than the average number of legs. Eugene Grebenik The way to do research is to attack the facts at the point of greatest astonishment. Celia Green The Decline and Fall of Science (1976) We all live to a formula. Maybe the secret lies in keeping that formula secret. Peter Greenaway Dear Boull´ee (1987) However great a man’s fear of life . . . suicide remains the courageous act, the clear-headed act of a mathematician. The suicide has judged by the laws of chance—so many odds against one, that to live will be more miserable than to die. His sense of mathematics is greater than his sense of survival. Graham Greene The Comedians (1966) I.4.i You miss 100% of the shots that you never take. Wayne Gretzky What money can buy has very little value beyond the necessaries of life. George Griffith From Pole to Pole (1904) The little I know I owe to my ignorance. Sacha Guitry GUIs normally make it simple to accomplish simple actions and impossible to accomplish complex actions. Doug Gwyn comp.unix.wizards, 22–June–1991 My mother’s menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it. Buddy Hackett The shortest path between two truths in the real domain passes through the complex domain. Jacques Hadamard in the ‘Mathematical Intelligencer’ 13(1), 1991

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The object of mathematical rigor is to sanction and legitimize the conquests of intuition, and there was never any other object for it. Jacques Hadamard This book fills a much-needed gap. Moses Hadas Thank you for sending me a copy of your book. I’ll waste no time reading it. Moses Hadas When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb. Steve Haflich in comp.lang.lisp, 1–Jan–1995 Don’t be afraid to ask dumb questions. They’re more easily handled than dumb mistakes. William Wister Haines I have no doubt that in reality the future will be vastly more surprising than anything I can imagine. Now my own suspicion is that the universe is not only queerer than we suppose, but queerer than we can suppose. John Burdon Sanderson Haldane Possible Worlds and Other Papers (1927) ‘The results so far obtained are consistent with the view that. . . ’ has taken the place of ‘Thus saith the Lord. . . ’ as an introduction to a new theory. John Burdon Sanderson Haldane Possible Worlds (1927): The Duty of Doubt The great general is the man who stakes everything on his hypothesis while realizing that it is only a hypothesis and must be modified from moment to moment. John Burdon Sanderson Haldane Possible Worlds (1927): The Duty of Doubt In scientific thought we adopt the simplest theory which will explain all the facts under consideration and enable us to predict new facts of the same kind. The catch in this criterion lies in the word ‘simplest’. It is really an aesthetic canon such as we find implicit in our criticisms of poetry or painting. John Burdon Sanderson Haldane Possible Worlds (1927): Science and theology as Art-Forms Christians almost all believe that prayer is sometimes answered. Now, all prayers are not answered, and desired events often occur for which no one has prayed. Hence individual instances of answered prayers are useless. We must have statistical evidence. It has been proposed from time to time that a group of believers should pray for the recovery of the patients in one wing of a hospital over a period of some months, and the number of deaths in it be compared with that in the other wing. The experiment has always been refused, partly on the ground that ‘Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God’, partly through lack of faith. Until it has been made, I do not propose to ask for the prayers of any congregation on my behalf. John Burdon Sanderson Haldane Possible Worlds (1927): Science and theology as Art-Forms We are part of history ourselves, and we cannot avoid the consequences of being unable to think impartially. John Burdon Sanderson Haldane Heredity and Politics (1938) If you enunciate your theorem before you prove it you are apt to give the impression, as Euclid does, that you are producing rabbits from a hat. Whereas if you lead up to it gently you create less impression of cleverness, but your reader may find your argument much easier to follow. John Burdon Sanderson Haldane A Banned Broadcast and other essays (1946) ‘How to Write a Popular Scientific Article’

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Theories: Four stages of acceptance: i) this is worthless nonsense; ii) this is an interesting, but perverse, point of view; iii) this is true, but quite unimportant; iv) I always said so. John Burdon Sanderson Haldane Journal of Genetics 58:464 (1963) I’d lay down my life for two brothers or eight cousins. John Burdon Sanderson Haldane New Scientist 8–Aug–1974 p. 325 We are getting into semantics again. If we use words, there is a very grave danger they will be misinterpreted. H. R. Haldeman Either you deal with what is the reality, or you can be sure that the reality is going to deal with you. Alex Haley . . . the source of all great mathematics is the special case, the concrete example. It is frequent in mathematics that every instance of a concept of seemingly great generality is in essence the same as a small and concrete special case. Paul R. Halmos I Want to be a Mathematician (1985) Mathematics is not a deductive science—that’s a clich´e. When you try to prove a theorem, you don’t just list the hypotheses, and then start to reason. What you do is trial and error, experimentation, guesswork. Paul R. Halmos I Want to be a Mathematician (1985) To be a scholar of mathematics you must be born with talent, insight, concentration, taste, luck, drive and the ability to visualize and guess. Paul R. Halmos I Want to be a Mathematician (1985) A good stack of examples, as large as possible, is indispensable for a thorough understanding of any concept, and when I want to learn something new, I make it my first job to build one. Paul R. Halmos It is the duty of all teachers, and of teachers of mathematics in particular, to expose their students to problems much more than to facts. Paul R. Halmos I regard it as an inelegance, or imperfection, in quaternions, or rather in the state to which it has been hitherto unfolded, whenever it becomes or seems to become necessary to have recourse to x, y, z, etc. William Rowan Hamilton quoted in a letter from Tait to Cayley Who would not rather have the fame of Archimedes than that of his conqueror Marcellus? Sir William Rowan Hamilton A definition is death. A definition is the answer to which you must look up the question in the back of your book. Peter Hammill Killers, Angels, Refugees (1974) ‘Catechism’ He is trying to decide which of two daydreams he will inhabit. Peter Hammill Killers, Angels, Refugees (1974) ‘Options’

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The purpose of computing is insight, not numbers. Richard Wesley Hamming (1962) Mathematics is an interesting intellectual sport but it should not be allowed to stand in the way of obtaining sensible information about physical processes. Richard Wesley Hamming Does anyone believe that the difference between the Lebesgue and Riemann integrals can have physical significance, and that whether say, an airplane would or would not fly could depend on this difference? If such were claimed, I should not care to fly in that plane. Richard Wesley Hamming “I don’t doubt that Jim Sweeney loves children and had dedicated his life’s career to improving education,” she said. “The school district has done some wonderful things. . . but (on state tests) half the students are still below the 50th percentile. That’s a problem.” Lauren Hammond, Sacramento City Councilwoman as reported by Diana Griego Erwin in ‘The Sacramento Bee’, 12–June–2003 Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. Christopher Hampton Isolated, so-called “pretty theorems” have even less value in the eyes of a modern mathematician than the discovery of a new “pretty flower” has to the scientific botanist, though the layman finds in these the chief charm of the respective sciences. Herman Hankel The word ‘politics’ is derived from the word ‘poly’, meaning ‘many’, and the word ‘ticks’, meaning ‘blood sucking parasites’. Larry Hardiman It is never worth a first class man’s time to express a majority opinion. By definition, there are plenty of others to do that. Godfrey Harold Hardy A mathematician, like a painter or poet, is a maker of patterns. If his patterns are more permanent than theirs, it is because they are made with ideas. Godfrey Harold Hardy A Mathematician’s Apology (1941) The mathematician’s patterns, like the painter’s or the poet’s must be beautiful ; the ideas, like the colors or the words must fit together in a harmonious way. Beauty is the first test: there is no permanent place in this world for ugly mathematics. Godfrey Harold Hardy A Mathematician’s Apology (1941) In great mathematics there is a very high degree of unexpectedness, combined with inevitability and economy. Godfrey Harold Hardy A Mathematician’s Apology (1941) I believe that mathematical reality lies outside us, that our function is to discover or observe it, and that the theorems which we prove, and which we describe grandiloquently as our “creations”, are simply the notes of our observations. Godfrey Harold Hardy A Mathematician’s Apology (1941)

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A science is said to be useful if its development tends to accentuate the existing inequalities in the distribution of wealth, or more directly promotes the destruction of human life. Godfrey Harold Hardy A Mathematician’s Apology (1941) I am interested in mathematics only as a creative art. Godfrey Harold Hardy A Mathematician’s Apology (1941) Pure mathematics is on the whole distinctly more useful than applied. For what is useful above all is technique, and mathematical technique is taught mainly through pure mathematics. Godfrey Harold Hardy Estimated amount of glucose used by an adult human brain each day, expressed in M&Ms: 250 Harper’s Index (October 1989) Without going out of my door I can know all things on Earth. George Harrison The Inner Light (song, 1968) Where there is sewage there must be food. Harry Harrison Bill the Galactic Hero (1965) Doubt is the first step to belief. Harry Harrison Bill the Galactic Hero (1965) If there is a 50-50 chance that something can go wrong, then 9 times out of ten it will. Paul Harvey News (1979) If you are doing things the same way as two years ago, you are almost certainly doing them wrong. Sir John Harvey-Jones Nothing is true, everything is permitted. Hassan i Sabbah Alleged last words (1124) God not only plays dice. He also sometimes throws the dice where they cannot be seen. Stephen William Hawking Nature 257:362 (1975) A theory is a good theory if it satisfies two requirements: it must accurately describe a large class of observations on the basis of a model that contains only a few arbitrary elements, and it must make definite predictions about the results of future observations. Stephen William Hawking A Brief History of Time (1988) Thirty years ago I was diagnosed with motor neurone disease, and given two and a half years to live. I have always wondered how they could be so precise about the half. Stephen William Hawking BBC interview, 18–Feb–1996 Why does the universe go to all the bother of existing? Stephen William Hawking

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My goal is simple. It is complete understanding of the universe, why it is as it is and why it exists at all. Stephen William Hawking Rules and models destroy genius and art. William Hazlitt Sketches and Essays (1839), ‘On Taste’ To me, the main weakness of EDA is its failure to enquire why the data were collected in the first place and its consequent tendency to apply ingenious methods largely because they are so attractively ingenious. M. J. R. Healy In discussion of C. Chatfield, ‘The initial examination of data’, J. R. S. S. A. 148:245 (1985) Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by hitting back. Piet Hein Grooks (1966) Knowing what thou knowest not is in a sense omniscience. Piet Hein Grooks (1966) The road to wisdom?—Well, it’s plain and simple to express: Err and err and err again. but less and less and less. Piet Hein Grooks (1966) Ordinarily he is insane, but he has lucid moments when he is only stupid. Heinrich Heine You have attributed conditions to villainy that simply result from stupidity. Robert Anson Heinlein Logic of Empire (1941) There is no such thing as luck; only adequate and inadequate preparation to cope with the statistical universe. Robert Anson Heinlein Have Space Suit Will Travel (1958) Math is hard work and it occupies your mind—and it doesn’t hurt to learn all you can of it, no matter what rank you are; everything of any importance is founded on mathematics. Robert Anson Heinlein Starship Troopers (1959) . . . when faced with a problem you do not understand, do any part of it you do understand, then look at it again. Robert Anson Heinlein The Moon is a Harsh Mistress (1966)

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The difference between science and the fuzzy subjects is that science requires reasoning while those other subjects merely require scholarship. Robert Anson Heinlein Time Enough for Love (1973) If it cannot be expressed in figures, it is not science, it is opinion. Robert Anson Heinlein Time Enough for Love (1973) Anyone who cannot cope with mathematics is not fully human. At best he is a tolerable subhuman who has learned to wear shoes, bathe, and not make messes in the house. Robert Anson Heinlein Time Enough for Love (1973) Specialization is for insects. Robert Anson Heinlein Time Enough for Love (1973) $100 placed at 7 percent interest compounded quarterly for 200 years will increase to more than $100,000,000, by which time it will be worth nothing. Robert Anson Heinlein Time Enough for Love (1973) Never worry about theory as long as the machinery does what it’s supposed to do. Robert Anson Heinlein Ein Fachmann ist ein Mann, der einige der gr¨obsten Fehler kennt, die man in dem betreffenden Fach machen kann und der sie deshalb zu vermeiden versteht. (An expert is someone who knows some of the worst mistakes that can be made in his subject, and who manages to avoid them.) Werner Heisenberg Der Teil und das Ganze (1969) Hungry Joe collected lists of fatal diseases and arranged them in alphabetical order so that he could put his finger without delay on any one he wanted to worry about. Joseph Heller Catch-22 (1961), Ch. 17 Never mistake motion for action. Ernest Hemingway My aim is to put down on paper what I see and what I feel in the best and simplest way. Ernest Hemingway The first draft of anything is shit. Ernest Hemingway The propositions of mathematics have, therefore, the same unquestionable certainty which is typical of such propositions as “All bachelors are unmarried,” but they also share the complete lack of empirical content which is associated with that certainty: The propositions of mathematics are devoid of all factual content; they convey no information whatever on any empirical subject matter. Carl G. Hempel On the Nature of Mathematical Truth, in J. R. Newman (ed.) The World of Mathematics (1956) One of the big misapprehensions about mathematics that we perpetrate in our classrooms is that the teacher always seems to know the answer to any problem that is discussed. This gives students the idea that there is a book somewhere with all the right answers to all of the interesting questions, and that teachers know those answers. And if one could get hold of the book, one would have everything settled. That’s so unlike the true nature of mathematics. Leon Henkin in: L.A. Steen and D.J. Albers (eds.), Teaching Teachers, Teaching Students (1981)

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Under the bludgeonings of chance My head is bloody, but unbowed. W. E. Henley Invictus (1888) It was beautiful and simple as all truly great swindles are. O. Henry (William Sidney Porter) Gentle Grafter (1908), ‘Octopus Marooned’ FOR I=1 TO 3 REM SMOKE NEXT I

Nik Henville Excerpt from I Ching program (1980) If you do not expect the unexpected, you will not find it; for it is hard to be sought out, and difficult. Heraclitus of Ephesus The fairest order in the world is a heap of random sweepings. Heraclitus of Ephesus Everything flows, nothing stays still. Heraclitus of Ephesus Religions often partake of the myth of progress that shields us from the terrors of an uncertain future. Frank Herbert Dune (1965) Woe be to him that reads but one book. George Herbert Jacula Prudentum (1651) The value of a problem is not so much coming up with the answer as in the ideas and attempted ideas it forces on the would be solver. I.N. Herstein One cannot escape the feeling that these mathematical formulae have an independent existence and an intelligence of their own, that they are wiser than we are, wiser than their discoverers, that we get more out of them than was originally put into them. Heinrich Rudolf Hertz I do not think that the radio waves I have discovered will have any practical application. Heinrich Rudolf Hertz There is no reality except the one contained within us. Hermann Hesse He who seeks for methods without having a definite problem in mind seeks for the most part in vain. David Hilbert Mathematical Problems; Bull. Amer. Math. Soc. 8: 444 The art of doing mathematics consists in finding that special case which contains all the germs of generality. David Hilbert Mathematics is a game played according to certain simple rules with meaningless marks on paper. David Hilbert The further a mathematical theory is developed, the more harmoniously and uniformly does its construction proceed, and unsuspected relations are disclosed between hitherto separated branches of the science. David Hilbert

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A mathematical theory is not to be considered complete until you have made it so clear that you can explain it to the first man whom you meet on the street. David Hilbert One can measure the importance of a scientific work by the number of earlier publications rendered superfluous by it. David Hilbert Very few people do anything creative after the age of thirty-five. The reason is that very few people do anything creative before the age of thirty-five. Joel Hildebrand A novice was trying to fix a broken Lisp machine by turning the power off and on. Knight, seeing what the student was doing, spoke sternly: “You cannot fix a machine by just power-cycling it with no understanding of what is going wrong.” Knight turned the machine off and on. The machine worked. Danny Hillis AI Koan, in Jargon File 2.9.10 (1992), eds. Eric S. Raymond & Guy L. Steele In the days when Sussman was a novice, Minsky once came to him as he sat hacking at the PDP-6. “What are you doing?”, asked Minsky. “I am training a randomly wired neural net to play Tic-Tac-Toe” Sussman replied. “Why is the net wired randomly?”, asked Minsky. “I do not want it to have any preconceptions of how to play”, Sussman said. Minsky then shut his eyes. “Why do you close your eyes?”, Sussman asked his teacher. “So that the room will be empty.” At that moment, Sussman was enlightened. Danny Hillis AI Koan, in Jargon File 2.9.10 (1992), eds. Eric S. Raymond & Guy L. Steele Dew knot trussed yore spell chequer two fined awl yore mistakes. Brendan Hills Declare the past, diagnose the present, foretell the future. Hippocrates of Cos Epidemics Book I, section 11 When doing everything according to indications, although things may not turn out agreeably to indication, we should not change to another while the original appearances remain. Hippocrates of Cos Aphorisms II.52 And he will manage the cure best who has foreseen what is to happen from the present state of matters. Hippocrates of Cos The Book of Prognostics I conclude that there are two ways of constructing a software design: One way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult. Charles Antony Richard Hoare ‘The Emporor’s Old Clothes’ (1980 Turing Award Lecture) You cannot teach beginners top-down programming, because they don’t know which end is up. Sir Charles Antony Richard Hoare Remark to Richard Pattis

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Premature optimization is the root of all evil. Sir Charles Antony Richard Hoare The thing with high-tech is that you always end up using scissors. David Hockney the Observer, Sayings of the Week, 10–July–1994 [on ESP] Some things have to be believed to be seen. Ralph Hodgson I will listen to any hypothesis but on one condition—that you show me a method by which it can be tested. August William von Hoffmann But we must not underestimate the potency of the mathematical process of abstraction. A surprising variety of things happen to have both magnitude and direction and to combine according to the parallelogram law; and many of them are not at all reminiscent of journeys. Banish Hoffman Mathematics is a discipline practised in every university in the world, and it is at least as broad a field as biology, in which one researcher tries to understand the AIDS virus while another studies the socialization of wombats. Paul Hoffman Archimedes’ Revenge (1988), Introduction Hofstadter’s Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter’s Law. Douglas R. Hofstadter Goedel, Escher, Bach (1979) It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others. John Andrew Holmes Some Tory MPs are going round saying privately that Iain Duncan Smith must go, and before the next election. The latest opinion polls suggest that fewer voters have heard of him than was the case last week; in other words, people who knew about him seven days ago have since managed to forget who he is. Simon Hoggart in ‘the Guardian’, 31–Oct–2002 The universe is not hostile, nor yet is it unfriendly. It is simply indifferent. Rev. John H. Holmes What a satire, by the way, is that machine [Babbage’s engine] on the mere mathematician! A Frankensteinmonster, a thing without brains and without heart, too stupid to make a blunder; that turns out results like a corn-sheller, and never grows any wiser or better, though it grind a thousand bushels of them! Oliver Wendell Holmes The Autocrat of the Breakfast Table (1858) Every probability—and most of our common, working beliefs are probabilities—is provided with BUFFERS at both ends, which break the force of opposite opinions clashing against it; but scientific certainty has no spring in it, no courtesy, no possibility of yielding. All this must react on the minds which handle these forms of truth. Oliver Wendell Holmes The Autocrat of the Breakfast Table (1858) Your patient has no more right to all the truth you know than he has to all the medicine in your saddlebags. . . . He should get only just so much as is good for him. Oliver Wendell Holmes Speech to graduating medical students (1871)

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For the rational study of the law the black letter man may be the man of the present, but the man of the future is the man of statistics and the master of economics. Oliver Wendell Holmes The Path of the Law (1897) Certitude is not the test of certainty. We have been cocksure of many things that are not so. Oliver Wendell Holmes The human mind once stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions. Oliver Wendell Holmes Why can’t somebody give us a list of things that everybody thinks and nobody says, and another list of things that everybody says and nobody thinks? Oliver Wendell Holmes We learn to do something by doing it. There is no other way. John Holt Instead of Education (1976) The Wall will stand for a hundred years. Erich Honecker (1988) It is commonly believed that anyone who tabulates numbers is a statistician. This is like believing that anyone who owns a scalpel is a surgeon. R. Hooke How to tell the Liars from the Statisticians (1983) It’s always easier to apologize than to ask permission. Grace Murray Hopper The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from. Grace Murray Hopper Omne tulit punctum qui miscuit utile dulci, Lectorem delectando pariterque monendo. (He has gained every point who has mixed practicality with pleasure, by delighting the reader at the same time as instructing him.) Horace (Quintus Horatius Flaccus) Ars Poetica 343 Misce stultitiam consiliis brevem: Dulce est desipere in loco. (Mix a little foolishness with your prudence: It’s lovely to be silly at the right moment.) Horace (Quintus Horatius Flaccus) Epistles III xii.27 Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement. Jim Horning I don’t see the logic of rejecting data just because they seem incredible. Sir Fred Hoyle There is a coherent plan in the universe, though I don’t know what it’s a plan for. Sir Fred Hoyle Life is just one damned thing after another. Elbert Hubbard in ‘Philistine’ Dec. 1909)

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One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man. Elbert Hubbard Thousand and one Epigrams (1911) Little minds are interested in the extraordinary; great minds in the commonplace. Elbert Hubbard Thousand and one Epigrams (1911) This will never be a civilized country until we spend more money for books than we do on chewing gum. Elbert Hubbard Le mot, c’est le Verbe, et le Verbe, c’est Dieu. Victor Hugo Contemplations (1856) bk. 1, no. 8 La sym´etrie, c’est l’ennui, et l’ennui est le fonde mˆeme du deuil. Le d´esespoir baˆılle. (Symmetry is tedious, and tedium is the very basis of mourning. Despair yawns.) Victor Hugo Les Mis´erables (1862), vol. 2, bk. 4, ch. 1 On r´esiste `a l’invasion des arm´ees; on ne r´esiste pas `a l’invasion des id´ees. (One can resist invasion by armies; one cannot resist invasion by ideas.) Victor Hugo Histoire d’un Crime (1877), pt. 5, sect. 10 If we take in our hand any volume; of divinity or school metaphysics, for instance; let us ask, Does it contain any experimental reasoning concerning matter of fact and existence? No. Commit it then to the flames: for it can contain nothing but sophistry and illusion. David Hume An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding (1748) A wise man proportions his belief to the evidence; in particular, he never simply takes for granted the truth of the testimony of witnesses, but subjects that testimony to test. David Hume An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding (1748), ‘Of Miracles’ Beauty is no quality in things themselves. It exists merely in the mind which contemplates them. David Hume Essays, Moral, Political, and Literary (ed. T. H. Green and T. H. Grose), ‘Of the Standard of Taste’ (1757) The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously. Hubert Humphrey An undefined problem has an infinite number of solutions. Robert A. Humphrey 1. If quality and productivity are to improve from current levels, changes must be made in the way things are presently being done. 2. We should like to have good data to serve as a rational basis on which to make these changes. 3. The twin question must then be addressed: what data should be collected, and, once collected, how should they be analyzed? 4. Statistics is the science that addresses this twin question. William G. Hunter

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That action is best, which procures the greatest happiness for the greatest numbers. Francis Hutcheson An Inquiry into the Original of our Ideas of Beauty and Virtue (1725), Treatise 2, sect. 3, subsect. 8 ‘A mental carminative,’ said Mr Scogan reflectively. ‘That’s what you need.’ Aldous Leonard Huxley Crome Yellow (1921) Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. Aldous Leonard Huxley Proper Studies (1927) Consistency is contrary to nature, contrary to life. The only completely consistent people are the dead. Aldous Leonard Huxley Do What you Will (1927), ‘Wordsworth in the Tropics’ Several excuses are always less convincing than one. Aldous Leonard Huxley Point Counter Point (1928) Experience is not what happens to a man, it is what a man does with what happens to him. Aldous Leonard Huxley Texts and Pretexts (1932) Alpha children wear grey. They work much harder than we do, because they’re so frightfully clever. I’m really awfully glad I’m a Beta, because I don’t work so hard. And then we are much better than the Gammas and Deltas. Gammas are stupid. They all wear green, and Delta children wear khaki. Oh no, I don’t want to play with Delta children. And Epsilons are still worse. They’re too stupid to be able to read or write. Besides, they wear black, which is such a beastly colour. I’m so glad I’m a Beta. Aldous Leonard Huxley Brave New Word (1932) I admit that mathematical science is a good thing. But excessive devotion to it is a bad thing. Aldous Leonard Huxley Contemporary Mind (1934) In real life there is no such thing as the average man. Aldous Leonard Huxley Brave New World Revisited (1958) Higher education is not necessarily a guarantee of higher virtue. Aldous Leonard Huxley Brave New World Revisited (1958) Man must learn to simplify, but not to the point of falsification. Aldous Leonard Huxley Brave New World Revisited (1958) Assembled in a crowd, people lose their powers of reasoning and their capacity for moral choice. Aldous Leonard Huxley Brave New World Revisited (1958) Technological progress has merely provided us with more efficient means for going backwards. Aldous Leonard Huxley Sooner or later, false thinking brings wrong conduct. Sir Julian Huxley Essays of a Biologist (1924), VII

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The chess board is the world, the pieces are the phenomena of the universe, the rules of the game are what we call the laws of Nature. The player on the other side is hidden from us. We know that his play is always fair, just and patient. But we also know, to our cost, that he never overlooks a mistake, or makes the smallest allowance for ignorance. Thomas Henry Huxley A Liberal Education (1868) Mathematics may be compared to a mill of exquisite workmanship, which grinds you stuff of any degree of fineness; but, nevertheless, what you get out depends on what you put in; and as the grandest mill in the world will not extract wheat flour from peascods, so pages of formulae will not get a definite result out of loose data. Thomas Henry Huxley Quart. J. Geol. Soc. 25 (1869): 38 . . . the great tragedy of Science—the slaying of a beautiful hypothesis by an ugly fact. Thomas Henry Huxley Biogenesis and Abiogenesis (1870) Every great advance in natural knowledge has involved the absolute rejection of authority. Thomas Henry Huxley Lay Sermons (1870) The great end of life is not knowledge but action. What men need is as much knowledge as they can organize for action; give them more and it may become injurious. Some men are heavy and stupid from undigested learning Thomas Henry Huxley Technical Education (1877) If a little knowledge is dangerous, where is the man who has so much as to be out of danger? Thomas Henry Huxley On Elemental Instruction in Physiology (1877) It is the customary fate of new truths to begin as heresies and to end as superstitions. Thomas Henry Huxley The Coming of Age of the Origin of Species (1881) Irrationally held truths may be more harmful than reasoned errors. Thomas Henry Huxley The Coming of Age of the Origin of Species (1881) I am too much of a sceptic to deny the possibility of anything. Thomas Henry Huxley Letter to Herbert Spencer, 22–Mar–1886 Science is nothing but trained and organized common sense differing from the latter only as a veteran may differ from a raw recruit. Thomas Henry Huxley Collected Essays (1893–4): The Method of Zadig It is the first duty of a hypothesis to be intelligible. Thomas Henry Huxley Science commits suicide when it adopts a creed. Thomas Henry Huxley Try to learn something about everything and everything about something. Thomas Henry Huxley

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Nothing shocks me. I’m a scientist. Willard Huyck & Gloria Katz Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (film, 1989) Now I guess I have to tell ‘em That I got no cerebellum. Gonna get my Ph.D. I’m a teenage lobotomy. Jeffrey Hyman, John Cummings, Douglas Colvin and Thomas Erdelyi Teenage Lobotomy (song, 1977) All parts should go together without forcing. You must remember that the parts you are reassembling were disassembled by you. Therefore, if you can’t get them together again, there must be a reason. By all means, do not use a hammer. IBM maintenance manual (1925) Geometry enlightens the intellect and sets one’s mind right. All of its proofs are very clear and orderly. It is hardly possible for errors to enter into geometrical reasoning, because it is well arranged and orderly. Thus, the mind that constantly applies itself to geometry is not likely to fall into error. In this convenient way, the person who knows geometry acquires intelligence. Ibn Khaldun The Muqaddimah: An Introduction to History To live is to war with trolls. Henrik Ibsen My mind is a handgrenade, catch. Ice-T (Tracy Marrow) ‘Mind Over Matter’ on ‘O.G.’ (1991) I write rhymes with addition and algebra, mental geometry. Ice-T (Tracy Marrow) ‘Mind Over Matter’ on ‘O.G.’ (1991) A superstition is a premature explanation that overstays its time. George Iles The aim of education is the knowledge not of fact but of values. William Ralph Inge, Dean of St. Paul’s ‘The Training of the Reason’ in A. C. Benson (ed.), Cambridge Essays on Education (1917) Ch. 2 The vulgar mind always mistakes the exceptional for the important. William Ralph Inge, Dean of St. Paul’s More Lay Thoughts of a Dean (1931), III.1 It is not the answer that enlightens but the question. `ne Ionesco Euge Decouvertes (1969) Statistics show that of those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive. William Wallace Irwin A camel is a horse designed by a committee. Alec Issigonis The road to truth is long, and lined the entire way with annoying bastards. Alexander Jablokov The Place of No Shadows, in Isaac Asimovs Science Fiction Magazine (1990)

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It’s a damn poor mind that can only think of one way to spell a word. Andrew Jackson In our Universe, matter is arranged in a hierarchy of structures by successive integrations. Franc ¸ ois Jacob The Possible and the Actual (1982) Mathematics is the science of what is clear by itself. Carl Jacobi In J. R. Newman (ed.) The World of Mathematics (1956) Man muß immer generalisieren. (One must always generalize.) Carl Jacobi The real end of science is the honor of the human mind. Carl Jacobi We must grant the artist his subject, his idea, his donn´e : our criticism is applied only to what he makes of it. Henry James Partial Portraits (1888), ‘The Art of Fiction’ There is no more miserable human being than one in whom nothing is habitual but indecision. William James The Principles of Psychology (1890), vol. 1, ch. 4 The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook. William James The Principles of Psychology (1890), vol. 2, ch. 22 If I should throw down a thousand beans at random upon a table, I could doubtless, by eliminating a sufficient number of them, leave the rest in almost any geometrical pattern you might propose to me, and you might then say that that pattern was the thing prefigured beforehand, and that the other beans were mere irrelevance and packing material. Our dealings with Nature are just like this. William James The Varieties of Religious Experience (1902), Lecture XVIII, ‘Philosophy’ A good hypothesis in science must have other properties than those of the phenomenon it is immediately invoked to explain, otherwise it is not prolific enough. William James The Varieties of Religious Experience (1902), Lectures XIV,XV, ‘Saintliness’ If WE claim only reasonable probability, it will be as much as men who love the truth can ever at any given moment hope to have within their grasp. William James The Varieties of Religious Experience (1902), Lecture XX, ‘Conclusions’ There is no worse lie than a truth misunderstood by those who hear it. William James The Varieties of Religious Experience (1902) The moral flabbiness born of the exclusive worship of the bitch-goddess success. That—with the squalid cash interpretation put on the word success—is our national disease. William James Letter to H. G. Wells, 11–Sept–1906

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The union of the mathematician with the poet, fervor with measure, passion with correctness, this surely is the ideal. William James Collected Essays (1920) When a thing was new people said ‘It is not true’. Later, when its truth became obvious, people said, ‘Anyway, it is not important’, and when its importance could not be denied, people said, ‘Anyway, it is not new’. William James in Lord Ritchie Calder ‘Leonardo’ (1970) A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices. William James In the practical use of our intellect, forgetting is as important as remembering. William James A difference which makes no difference is no difference at all. William James It was our use of probability theory as logic that has enabled us to do so easily what was impossible for those who thought of probability as a physical phenomenon associated with “randomness”. Quite the opposite; we have thought of probability distributions as carriers of information. E. T. Jaynes The Logic of Probability (1993) Chapter 4 From the intrinsic evidence of his creation, the Great Architect of the Universe now begins to appear as a pure mathematician. Sir James Hopwood Jeans The Mysterious Universe (1930), Ch. 5 I am a great believer in luck, and I find that the harder I work, the more I have of it. Thomas Jefferson I hold that a little rebellion is a good thing. Thomas Jefferson Some of the most important results (e.g. Cauchy’s theorem) are so surprising at first sight that nothing short of a proof can make them credible. Harold & Bertha S. Jeffreys Methods of Mathematical Physics Nature does not consist entirely, or even largely, of problems designed by a Grand Examiner to come out neatly in finite terms, and whatever subject we tackle the first need is to overcome timidity about approximating. Harold & Bertha S. Jeffreys Methods of Mathematical Physics Perhaps only mathematicians are aware of the enormity of what the Government did this week. It took a risk that is statistically negligible and exploited it as an act of insufferable nannying. Beef ribs, T-bones and oxtails present a public health risk publicised as “very small” and “a chance of one case per year” (though none of Britain’s 22 nvCJD cases has been positively linked to beef). Most newspapers cluelessly converted “a chance” into a certainty, and ridiculed the risk as a tiny one in 56 million. But that is not what the scientists said. They suggested the chance was “5 per cent”, so the risk is nearer to one in 1.1 billion, or one in 560 million among the half of the population that eats beef. There can have been no more tenuous basis for an infringement of personal liberty. Simon Jenkins in ‘the Times’, 6–Dec–1997

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I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours. Jerome K. Jerome If they give you ruled paper, write the other way. Juan Ramon Jimenez You cannot mandate productivity, you must provide the tools to let people become their best. Steve Jobs People must not attempt to impose their own ‘truth’ on others. The right to profess the truth must always be upheld, but not in a way that involves contempt for those who may think differently. Truth imposes itself solely by the force of its own truth. Pope John Paul II 1–Jan–91 Network. Anything reticulated or decussated at equal distances, with interstices between the intersections. Samuel Johnson A Dictionary of the English Language (1755) The business of the poet, said Imlac, is to examine, not the individual, but the species. Samuel Johnson Rasselas (1759), Ch. 10 Example is always more efficacious than precept. Samuel Johnson Rasselas (1759), Ch. 30 Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful. Samuel Johnson Rasselas (1759), Ch. 41 Nothing will ever be attempted, if all possible objections must first be overcome. Samuel Johnson Rasselas (1759) Don’t, Sir, accustom yourself to use big words for little matters. Samuel Johnson Boswell’s ‘Life of Samuel Johnson’ 6–Aug–1763 All intellectual improvement arises from leisure. Samuel Johnson Boswell’s ‘Life of Samuel Johnson’ 13–Apr–1773 Knowledge is of two kinds. We know a subject ourselves, or we know where we can find information on it. Samuel Johnson Boswell’s ‘Life of Samuel Johnson’ 18–Apr–1775 Round numbers are always false. Samuel Johnson Boswell’s ‘Life of Samuel Johnson’ 30–Mar–1778 Lectures were once useful; but now, when all can read, and books are so numerous, lectures are unnecessary. If your attention fails, and you miss a part of a lecture, it is lost; you cannot go back as you do upon a book. . . People have nowadays got a strange opinion that everything should be taught by lectures. Now, I cannot see that lectures can do as much good as reading the books from which the lectures are taken. I know nothing that can be best taught by lectures, except where experiments are to be shown. You may teach chymistry by lectures. You might teach making shoes by lectures! Samuel Johnson Boswell’s ‘Life of Samuel Johnson’, 15–Apr–1781

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Sir, I have found you an argument; but I am not obliged to find you an understanding. Samuel Johnson Boswell’s ‘Life of Samuel Johnson’ June 1784 In this work are exhibited in a very high degree the two most engaging powers of an author: new things are made familiar, and familiar things are made new. Samuel Johnson Lives of the Poets (1781) Actions are visible, though motives are secret. Samuel Johnson A successful tool is one that was used to do something undreamed of by its author. Stephen C. Johnson The farther it gets from the bench it was worked on, the more real the real world becomes. Todd Johnson Suddenly a caravan of police cars escorting a large truck with “Bob’s Slide Rules” painted on the sides pulled in front of the Physics building. Before they could come to a stop, a horde of people rushed out, turned over the truck, and began looting it, screaming and ripping open boxes of slide rules. The few cops who got too close were quickly mauled. Some of the mathematicians didn’t even try to get away; they just sat down and began doing functions, right in front of everyone. I turned away, retching. My God, I thought. The computers must be on the fritz. . . and they haven’t used the chalkboards in years. . . they must be out of chalk. If they act this way for slide rules. . . what will happen when the chalk truck arrives? Wayne Johnson Excerpt from sci.astro post, 1995 Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again. Franklin P. Jones Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger. Franklin P. Jones Don’t know what I want but I know how to get it. Steve Jones, Glen Matlock, Paul Cook & Johnny Rotten Anarchy in the U.K. (song, 1977) Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t. Erica Jong No matter where you go or what you do, you live your entire life within the confines of your head. Terry Josephson The worst thing about new books is that they keep us from reading the old ones. Joseph Joubert It is better to debate a question without settling it than to settle a question without debating it. Joseph Joubert To teach is to learn twice. Joseph Joubert Children need models rather than critics. Joseph Joubert Those who never retract their opinions love themselves more than they love truth. Joseph Joubert

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Research! A mere excuse for idleness; it has never achieved, and will never achieve any results of the slightest value. Benjamin Jowett We have to reinvent the wheel every once in a while, not because we need a lot of wheels; but because we need a lot of inventors. Bruce Joyce Mistakes are the portals of discovery. James Joyce Dubliners (1914) I can’t understand it. I can’t even understand the people who can understand it. Queen Juliana of the Netherlands The pendulum of the mind oscillates between sense and nonsense, not between right and wrong. Carl G. Jung Memories, Dreams, Reflections (1961), Ch. 5 “I’m not very good at problems,” admitted Milo. “What a shame,” sighed the Dodecahedron. “They’re so very useful. Why, did you know that if a beaver two feet long with a tail a foot and a half long can build a dam twelve feet high and six feet wide in two days, all you would need to build the Kariba Dam is a beaver sixty-eight feet long with a fifty-one-foot tail?” “Where would you find a beaver as big as that?” grumbled the Humbug as his pencil point snapped. “I’m sure I don’t know,” he replied, “but if you did, you’d certainly know what to do with him.” “That’s absurd,” objected Milo, whose head was spinning from all the numbers and questions. “That may be true,” he acknowledged, “but it’s completely accurate, and as long as the answer is right, who cares if the question is wrong? If you want sense, you’ll have to make it yourself.” Norton Juster The Phantom Tollbooth (1961) Just because you have a choice, it doesn’t mean that any of them has to be right. Norton Juster The Phantom Tollbooth (1961) “If you had high hopes, how would you know how high they were? And did you know that narrow escapes come in all different widths? Would you travel the whole wide world without ever knowing how wide it was? And how could you do anything at long last,” he concluded, waving his arms over his head, “without knowing how long the last was? Why, numbers are the most beautiful and valuable things in the world. Just follow me and I’ll show you.” Norton Juster The Phantom Tollbooth (1961) “Oh, we’re just the average family,” he said thoughtfully; “mother, father, and 2.58 children—and, as I explained, I’m the .58.” “It must be rather odd being only part of a person,” Milo remarked. “Not at all,” said the child. “Every average family has 2.58 children, so I always have someone to play with. Besides, each family also has an average of 1.3 automobiles, and since I’m the only one who can drive three-tenths of a car, I can have sole use of it.” Norton Juster The Phantom Tollbooth (1961) “You must never feel badly about making mistakes,” explained Reason quietly, “as long as you take the trouble to learn from them. For you often learn more by being wrong for the right reasons than you do by being right for the wroing reasons.” “But there’s so much to learn,” he said, with a thoughtful frown. “Yes, that’s true,” admitted Rhyme; “but it’s not just learning things that’s important. It’s learning what to do with what you learn and learning why you learn things at all that matters.” 95

Norton Juster The Phantom Tollbooth (1961) “Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible,” she said, “but that alone doesn’t make it true.” Franz Kafka There is infinite hope, but not for us. Franz Kafka In the fight between you and the world, back the world. Franz Kafka For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press three. Alice Kahn Problems are only opportunities in work clothes. Henry J. Kaiser I make progress by having people around who are smarter than I am—and listening to them. And I assume that everyone is smarter about something than I am. Henry J. Kaiser It is important to keep an open mind, but not so open that your brains fall out. Stephen A. Kallis, Jr. I had to set limits to knowledge in order to make place for faith. Immanuel Kant We [he and Halmos] share a philosophy about linear algebra: we think basis-free, we write basis-free, but when the chips are down we close the office door and compute with matrices like fury. Irving Kaplansky in Paul Halmos, ‘Celebrating 50 Years of Mathematics’ (1991) The purpose of models is not to fit the data but to sharpen the question. Samuel Karlin 11th R. A. Fisher Memorial Lecture, Royal Society, 20–Apr–1983 threepio: It’s against my programming to impersonate a deity. Lawrence Kasdan & George Lucas Return of the Jedi (1983) obi-wan kenobi: Many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our point of view. Lawrence Kasdan & George Lucas Return of the Jedi (1983) Mathematics is the science which uses easy words for hard ideas. E. Kasner and J. R. Newman Mathematics and the Imagination (1940) Mathematics is man’s own handiwork, subject only to the limitations imposed by the laws of thought. E. Kasner and J. R. Newman Mathematics and the Imagination (1940) The testament of science is so continually in a flux that the heresy of yesterday is the gospel of today and the fundamentalism of tomorrow. E. Kasner and J. R. Newman Mathematics and the Imagination (1940)

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Science is not facts. It’s not theories. It’s most certainly not pretty images. It’s a world view based on a class of bullshit detectors. . . Ed Kaulakis sci.misc, 6–March–1988 In computers, every ‘new explosion’ was set off by a software product that allowed users to program differently. Alan Kay Now I feel as if I should succeed in doing something in mathematics, although I cannot see why it is so very important. . . The knowledge doesn’t make life any sweeter or happier, does it? Helen Keller The Story of My Life (1903) I didn’t read it all, but the beginning and the end were pretty good. E. E. Kellett The Lady Automaton (1901) We are confronted with insurmountable opportunities. Walt Kelly There are three things a man must do Before his life is done; Write two lines in APL, And make the buggers run. Stan Kelly-Bootle The Devil’s DP Dictionary (1981) Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration. Stan Kelly-Bootle At the Day of Judgment, we shall not be asked what we have read, but what we have done. ` Kempis Thomas a [Referring to Bayesians]: If they would only do as he did and publish posthumously we should all be saved a lot of trouble. Maurice G. Kendall J.R.S.S.A. 131:185 Hiawatha Designs an Experiment Hiawatha, mighty hunter, He could shoot ten arrows upward, Shoot them with such strength and swiftness That the last had left the bow-string Ere the first to earth descended. This was commonly regarded As a feat of skill and cunning. Several sarcastic spirits Pointed out to him, however, That it might be much more useful If he sometimes hit the target. “Why not shoot a little straighter And employ a smaller sample?” Hiawatha, who at college Majored in applied statistics, Consequently felt entitled 97

To instruct his fellow man In any subject whatsoever, Waxed exceedingly indignant, Talked about the law of errors, Talked about truncated normals, Talked of loss of information, Talked about his lack of bias, Pointed out that (in the long run) Independent observations, Even though they missed the target, Had an average point of impact Very near the spot he aimed at, With the possible exception of a set of measure zero. “This,” they said, “was rather doubtful; Anyway it didn’t matter. What resulted in the long run: Either he must hit the target Much more often than at present, Or himself would have to pay for All the arrows he had wasted.” Hiawatha, in a temper, Quoted parts of R. A. Fisher, Quoted Yates and quoted Finney, Quoted reams of Oscar Kempthorne, Quoted Anderson and Bancroft (practically in extenso) Trying to impress upon them That what actually mattered Was to estimate the error. Several of them admitted: “Such a thing might have its uses; Still,” they said, “he would do better If he shot a little straighter.” Hiawatha, to convince them, Organized a shooting contest. Laid out in the proper manner Of designs experimental Recommended in the textbooks, Mainly used for tasting tea (but sometimes used in other cases) Used factorial arrangements And the theory of Galois, Got a nicely balanced layout And successfully confounded Second order interactions. All the other tribal marksmen, Ignorant benighted creatures Of experimental setups, Used their time of preparation Putting in a lot of practice Merely shooting at the target. Thus it happened in the contest

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That their scores were most impressive With one solitary exception. This, I hate to have to say it, Was the score of Hiawatha, Who as usual shot his arrows, Shot them with great strength and swiftness, Managing to be unbiased, Not however with a salvo Managing to hit the target. “There!” they said to Hiawatha, “That is what we all expected.” Hiawatha, nothing daunted, Called for pen and called for paper. But analysis of variance Finally produced the figures Showing beyond all peradventure, Everybody else was biased. And the variance components Did not differ from each other’s, Or from Hiawatha’s. (This last point it might be mentioned, Would have been much more convincing If he hadn’t been compelled to Estimate his own components From experimental plots on Which the values all were missing.) Still they couldn’t understand it, So they couldn’t raise objections. (Which is what so often happens with analysis of variance.) All the same his fellow tribesmen, Ignorant benighted heathens, Took away his bow and arrows, Said that though my Hiawatha Was a brilliant statistician, He was useless as a bowman. As for variance components Several of the more outspoken Make primeval observations Hurtful of the finer feelings Even of the statistician. In a corner of the forest Sits alone my Hiawatha Permanently cogitating On the normal law of errors. Wondering in idle moments If perhaps increased precision Might perhaps be sometimes better Even at the cost of bias, If one could thereby now and then Register upon a target. Maurice G. Kendall

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The American Statistician 13:23-24 (1959) Statistics is the branch of scientific method which deals with the data obtained by counting or measuring the properties of populations of natural phenomena. Sir M. G. Kendall and A. Stuart The Advanced Theory of Statistics Don’t ever take a fence down until you know the reason it was put up. John Fitzgerald Kennedy Notebooks (1945), paraphrasing Chesterton Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought. John Fitzgerald Kennedy If we cannot now end our differences, at least we can help make the world safe for diversity. John Fitzgerald Kennedy The Unthinkable is not something we are thinking about at the moment. [On the prospect of being knocked out of the Champion’s League] Peter Kenyon, chief executive of Manchester United the Observer, Quotes of the Year, 31–Dec–2000 Trivia rarely affect efficiency. Are all the machinations worth it, when their primary effect is to make the code less readable? B. W. Kernighan and P. J. Plauger The Elements of Programming Style (1974) In the long run, we are all dead. John Maynard Keynes A Tract on Monetary Reform (1923), ch. 3 It has been pointed out already that no knowledge of probabilities, less in degree than certainty, helps us to know what conclusions are true, and that there is no direct relation between the truth of a proposition and its probability. Probability begins and ends with probability. John Maynard Keynes The Application of Probability to Conduct, Ch. VII:4 in J. R. Newman (ed.) The World of Mathematics (1956) [on his poor mark in the Civil Service examinations] I evidently knew more about economics than my examiners. John Maynard Keynes in Roy Harrod ‘Life of John Maynard Keynes’ (1951) The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that still carries any reward. John Maynard Keynes When the facts change, I change my mind. What do you do, sir? John Maynard Keynes The critical mathematician has abandoned the search for truth. He no longer flatters himself that his propositions are or can be known to him or to any other human being to be true; and he contents himself with aiming at the correct, or the consistent. C. J. Keyser Science 35: 107 Algebras are geometric facts which are proved. Omar Khayyam Every truth is true only up to a point. Beyond that, by way of counter-point, it becomes untruth. Søren Kierkegaard

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Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards. Søren Kierkegaard Metropolis Is something new Ain’t nobody got their eye on you. . . Lemmy Kilminster, Fast Eddie Clark & Philthy Animal Taylor Metropolis (song, 1984) Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity. Martin Luther King, Jr Strength to Love (1963) A little uncertainty is good for everyone. Henry Kissinger the Observer, Sayings of the Week, 12–Dec–1976 A first-rate theory predicts; a second-rate theory forbids and a third-rate theory explains after the event. Aleksander Isaakovich Kitaigorodskii Lecture, IUC Amsterdam, August 1975 Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a rigged demo. James Klass It is only at long intervals that the researcher enjoys the feeling (or illusion) of solid accomplishment that the administrator can enjoy merely by emptying his in-box. Spencer Klaw Science 163 (1969): 60 Kunst gibt nicht das Sichtbare wieder, sondern macht sichtbar. (Art does not reproduce the visible; rather, it makes visible.) Paul Klee Creative Credo (1920) Eine aktive Linie, die sich frei ergeht, ein Spaziergang um seiner selbst willen, ohne Ziel. (An active line on a walk moving freely, without goal. A walk for walk’s sake.) Paul Klee Pedagogical Sketchbook (1925) I.1 The father of the arrow is the thought: how do I expand my reach? Paul Klee Pedagogical Sketchbook (1925) I.1 The greatest mathematicians, as Archimedes, Newton, and Gauss, always united theory and applications in equal measure. Felix Klein Elementarmathematik vom h¨ oheren Standpunkte aus 2 (1925) Universities hire professors the way some men choose wives—they want the ones the others will admire. Morris Kline Why the Professor Can’t Teach (1977) A proof tells us where to concentrate our doubts. Morris Kline Statistics: The mathematical theory of ignorance. Morris Kline

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What can there be concerning outer space but ignorance? Nigel Kneale The Quatermass Experiment (1953) We’ve got to express our views. We’re men, not mechanical computors. Nigel Kneale Quatermass and the Pit (1958) It is now proved beyond doubt that smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics. Fletcher Knebel in Reader’s Digest, Dec. 1961 Figures won’t lie, but liars can figure. Fletcher Knebel An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible. Alfred A. Knopf Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it. Donald E. Knuth Notes on the van Emde Boas construction of priority deques: An instructive use of recursion (1977) Science is what we understand well enough to explain to a computer. Art is everything else we do. Donald E. Knuth Forward to ‘A=B’ by Marko Petkovsek, Herbert Wilf and Doron Zeilberger (1996) The most important thing in the programming language is the name. A language will not succeed without a good name. I have recently invented a very good name and now I am looking for a suitable language. Donald E. Knuth The key to understanding recursion is to begin by understanding recursion. The rest is easy. Andrew Koenig and Barbara E. Moo Accelerated C++: Practical Programming by Example (2000) The more original a discovery, the more obvious it seems afterwards. Arthur Koestler An experiment is reproducible until another laboratory tries to repeat it. Alexander Kohn There are two ways to slide easily through life: to believe everything or to doubt everything. Both ways save us from thinking. Alfred Korzybski Manhood of Humanity (1921) The map is not the territory. Alfred Korzybski If you could lead through testing, the U.S. would lead the world in all education categories. When are people going to understand you don’t fatten your lambs by weighing them? Jonathan Kozol (see also Terry Craney) ¨ Die ganze Zahl schuf der liebe Gott, alles Ubrige est Menschenwerk. (God made the integers, man made all the rest.) Leopold Kronecker Jahresberichte der deutschen Mathematiker Vereinigung 2 (1919)

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There are not many joys in human life equal to the joy of sudden birth of a generalization. . . . He who has once in his life experienced this joy of scientific creation will never forget it. Peter Alekeseyevich Kropotkin Statistics is the art of stating in precise terms that which one does not know. William Kruskal ‘Statistics, Moli`ere, and Henry Adams’, The Centenniel Rveiew 9:79–96 (1965) Kuhn is fashionable because he refuted the Popperian theory that theories are discarded because they are refuted, replacing it with the theory that theories are discarded because they are unfashionable. Paul Kube sci.philosophy.tech, 21–May–1987 turgidson: Well I don’t think it’s quite fair to condemn a whole program because of a single slip up sir. Stanley Kubrick, Terry Souther & Peter George Dr. Strangelove (1963) There is no appropriate scale available with which to weigh the merits of alternative paradigms: they are incommensurable. Thomas Kuhn The Structure of Scientific Revolution (1962) Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature. Kulawi When old patterns are broken, new worlds can emerge. Tuli Kupferberg (1973) When we ask advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice. Joseph-Louis Lagrange Blind commitment to a theory is not an intellectual virtue: it is an intellectual crime. Imre Lakatos Philosophical Papers vol. 1 Nothing puzzles me more than time and space; and yet nothing troubles me less, as I never think about them. Charles Lamb John P. Rouillard wants a style file to allow text to flow around floated figures. TEX is Turing-equivalent, so this is of course possible. The easiest way to do it is to write a TEX macro that simulates a Turing machine and then re-implement LATEX as a Turing-machine program, adding the desired extra functionality. Leslie Lamport TeXhax Digest V89 #41, 27–Apr–1989 A distributed system is one that stops you from getting any work done when a machine you’ve never even heard of crashes. Leslie Lamport Formatting is no substitute for writing. Leslie Lamport When I write a paper, I change my notation much more than I change my concepts. Leslie Lamport If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Bert Lance Nation’s Business (May 1977), p. 27

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One out of four people in this country is mentally unbalanced. Think of your three closest friends—and if they seem okay then you’re the one! Ann Landers in Kiss Me Hardy, ed. Roger Kilroy A well-known mathematician once told me that the great thing about liking both math and sex was that he could do either one while thinking about the other. Steven E. Landsburg sci.math, 2–June–1993 He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts—for support rather than illumination. Andrew Lang I can’t give you brains, but I can give you a diploma. Noel Langley, Florence Ryerson & Edgar Allan Wolfe The Wizard of Oz (film, 1939) Clay is moulded to make a vessel, but the utility of the vessel lies in the space where there is nothing. . . Thus taking advantage of what is, we recognise the utility of what is not. Lao Tze Tao Te Ching, Chapter 11 The theory of probabilities is at bottom nothing but common sense reduced to calculus; it enables us to appreciate with exactness that which accurate minds feel with a sort of instinct for which ofttimes they are unable to account. Pierre Simon de Laplace Th´eorie Analytique des Probabiliti´es, Introduction Such is the advantage of a well constructed language that its simplified notation often becomes the source of profound theories. Pierre Simon de Laplace Men might as well project a voyage to the Moon as attempt to employ steam navigation against the stormy North Atlantic Ocean. Dr. Dionysus Lardner Rail travel at high speeds above 20 miles per hour is not possible, because passengers, unable to breathe, would die of asphyxia. Dr. Dionysus Lardner Shut up he explained. Ring Lardner The Young Immigrants (1920) ch. 10 Get stewed: Books are a load of crap. Philip Larkin Study of Reading Habits (1964) An optimist thinks this is the best of all worlds. A pessimist fears the same may be true. Doug Larson A major part of my life is spent in that state of resentful coma which at universities is called research. Harold Laski 23–Jan–1938 Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can’t remember what they are. Matt Lauer NBC’s Today Show 22–Aug–1996

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Reality’s always a little dull to whoever’s involved in it. Keith Laumer The Other Side of Time (1965) The art of drawing conclusions from experiments and observations consists in evaluating probabilities and in estimating whether they are sufficiently great or numerous enough to constitute proofs. Antoine Lavoisier You can’t invent a design. You recognise it, in the fourth dimension. That is, with your blood and your bones, as well as with your eyes. David Herbert Lawrence Phoenix (1936): Art and Morality Thought, I love thought. But not the juggling and twisting of already existent ideas I despise that self-important game. Thought is the welling up of unknown life into consciousness, Thought is the testing of statements on the touchstone of consciousness, Thought is gazing onto the face of life, and reading what can be read, Thought is pondering over experience, and coming to conclusion. Thought is not a trick, or an exercise, or a set of dodges, Thought is a man in his wholeness, wholly attending. David Herbert Lawrence Thought The entire economy of the Western world is built on things that cause cancer. Ray Lawrence & Peter Carey Bliss (film, 1985) Sometime this job is just one thing after another. Nigel Lawson the Observer, Sayings of the Week, 4–Dec–1988 A desk is a dangerous place from which to view the world. ´ John Le Carre Despite all disclaimer, it is only when science asks why, instead of simply describing how, that it becomes more than technology. When it asks why, it discovers Relativity. When it only shows how, it invents the atomic bomb, and then puts its hands over its eyes and says, ‘My God what have I done?’ Ursula K. Le Guin The Stalin In the Soul (1973) Today’s truths become errors tomorrow. Ursula K. Le Guin The Stalin In the Soul (1973) In the twenty-first century, whoever controls the screen controls consciousness, information and thought. Timothy Leary There is a time in the life of every problem when it is big enough to see, yet small enough to solve. Mike Leavitt In one word he told me the secret of success in mathematics: plagiarize. . . only be sure always to call it please research. Thomas Andrew Lehrer Lobachevski (song, 1953)

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But in the new approach, as you know, the important thing is to understand what you’re doing, rather than to get the right answer. Thomas Andrew Lehrer New Math (song preamble, 1965) Base eight is just like base ten really—if you’re missing two fingers. Thomas Andrew Lehrer New Math (song, 1965) If you give me your attention, I will tell you what I am. I’m a brilliant math’matician—also something of a ham. I have tried for numerous degrees, in fact I’ve one of each; Of course that makes me eminently qualified to teach. I understand the subject matter thoroughly, it’s true, And I can’t see why it isn’t all as obvious to you. Each lecture is a masterpiece, meticulously planned, Yet everybody tells me that I’m hard to understand, And I can’t think why. Thomas Andrew Lehrer The Professor’s Song (1974), American Mathematical Monthly 81:745 I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up. Thomas Andrew Lehrer Disclaimer: If anyone disagrees with anything I say, I am quite prepared to not only retract it, but also to deny under oath I ever said it. Thomas Andrew Lehrer The art of discovering the causes of phenomena, or true hypothesis, is like the art of decyphering, in which an ingenious conjecture greatly shortens the road. Gottfreid Wilhelm Von Leibniz New Essays Concerning Human Understanding, IV, XII. Nothing is more important than to see the sources of invention which are, in my opinion more interesting than the inventions themselves. Gottfreid Wilhelm Von Leibniz quoted in: J. Koenderink ‘Solid Shape’ (1990) It is unworthy of excellent men to lose hours like slaves in the labour of calculation which could safely be relegated to anyone else if machines were used. Gottfreid Wilhelm Von Leibniz Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra Fran Leibowitz Social Studies (1981) I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not. Fran Leibowitz You’re ignoring Leichter’s First Law of Computing: If you don’t know how to do something, you don’t know how to do it on a computer. Jerry Leichter It is absurd to deny the role of fantasy in even the strictest science. Lenin (Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov) Polnoe Sobranie Sochinenii

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Reality leaves a lot to the imagination. John Winston Lennon How come you never see a headline like ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’ ? Jay Leno I try to leave out the parts that people skip. Elmore Leonard Nessuna humana investigazione si pio dimandara vera scienzia s’essa non passa per le matematiche dimonstrazione. (No human investigation can be called real science if it cannot be demonstrated mathematically.) Leonardo da Vinci Treatise on Painting, Ch. 1 Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. Leonardo da Vinci The supreme misfortune is when theory outstrips performance. Leonardo da Vinci Whoever despises the high wisdom of mathematics nourishes himself on delusion and will never still the sophistic sciences whose only product is an eternal uproar. Leonardo da Vinci Inequality is the cause of all local movements. Leonardo da Vinci You do ill if you praise, but worse if you censure, what you do not understand. Leonardo da Vinci He who loves practice without theory is like the sailor who boards ship without a rudder and compass and never knows where he may cast. Leonardo da Vinci John Wilder Tukey, one of the most influential statisticians of the last 50 years and a wide-ranging thinker credited with inventing the word “software,” died on Wednesday in New Brunswick, N.J. He was 85. The cause was a heart attack after a short illness, said Phyllis Anscombe, his sister-in-law. Mr. Tukey developed important theories about how to analyze data and compute series of numbers quickly. He spent decades as both a professor at Princeton University and a researcher at AT&T’s Bell Laboratories, and his ideas continue to be a part of both doctoral statistics courses and high school math classes. In 1973, President Richard M. Nixon awarded him the National Medal of Science. But Mr. Tukey frequently ventured outside of the academy as well, working as a consultant to the government and corporations and taking part in social debates. In the 1950’s, he criticized Alfred C. Kinsey’s research on sexual behavior. In the 1970’s, he was chairman of a research committee that warned that aerosol spray cans damaged the ozone layer. More recently, he recommended that the 1990 Census be adjusted by using statistical formulas in order to count poor urban residents whom he believed it had missed. “The best thing about being a statistician,” Mr. Tukey once told a colleague, “is that you get to play in everyone’s backyard.” An intense man who liked to argue and was fond of helping other researchers, Mr. Tukey was also an amateur linguist who made significant contributions to the language of modern times. In a 1958 article in American Mathematical Monthly, he became the first person to define the programs on which electronic calculators ran, said Fred R. Shapiro, a librarian at Yale Law School who is editing a book on the origin of terms. Three decades before the founding of Microsoft, Mr. Tukey saw that “software,” as he called it, was gaining prominence. “Today,” he wrote at the time, it is “at least as important” as the “ ‘hardware’ of tubes, transistors, wires, tapes and the like.” 107

Twelve years earlier, while working at Bell Laboratories, he had coined the term “bit,” an abbreviation of “binary digit” that described the 1’s and 0’s that are the basis of computer programs. Both words caught on, to the chagrin of some computer scientists who saw Mr. Tukey as an outsider. “Not everyone was happy that he was naming things in their field,” said Steven M. Schultz, a spokesman for Princeton. Mr. Tukey had no immediate survivors. His wife of 48 years, Elizabeth Rapp Tukey, an antiques appraiser and preservation activist, died in 1998. Mr. Tukey was born in 1915 in New Bedford, a fishing town on the southern coast of Massachusetts, and was the only child of Ralph H. Tukey and Adah Tasker Tukey. His mother was the valedictorian of the class of 1898 at Bates College in Lewiston, Me., and her closest competition was her eventual husband, who became the salutatorian. Classmates referred to them as the couple most likely to give birth to a genius, said Marc G. Glass, a Bates spokesman. The elder Mr. Tukey became a Latin teacher at New Bedford’s high school, but, because of a rule barring spouses from teaching at the school, Mrs. Tukey was a private tutor, Mrs. Anscombe said. Mrs. Tukey’s main pupil became her son, who attended regular classes only for special subjects like French. “They were afraid that if he went to school, he’d get lazy,” said Howard Wainer, a friend and former student of John Tukey’s. In 1936, Mr. Tukey graduated from nearby Brown University with a bachelor’s degree in chemistry, and in the next three years earned three graduate degrees, one in chemistry at Brown and two in mathematics at Princeton, where he would spend the rest of his career. At the age of 35, he became a full professor, and in 1965 he became the founding chairman of Princeton’s statistics department. Mr. Tukey worked for the United States government during World War II. Friends said he did not discuss the details of his projects, but Mrs. Anscombe said he helped design the U-2 spy plane. In later years, much of his important work came in a field that statisticians call robust analysis, which allows researchers to devise credible conclusions even when the data with which they are working are flawed. In 1970, Mr. Tukey published “Exploratory Data Analysis,” which gave mathematicians new ways to analyze and present data clearly. One of those tools, the stem-and-leaf display, continues to be part of many high school curriculums. Using it, students arrange a series of data points in a series of simple rows and columns and can then make judgments about what techniques, like calculating the average or median, would allow them to analyze the information intelligently. That display was typical of Mr. Tukey’s belief that mathematicians, professional or amateur, should often start with their data and then look for a theorem, rather than vice versa, said Mr. Wainer, who is now the principal research scientist at the Educational Testing Service. “He legitimized that, because he wasn’t doing it because he wasn’t good at math,” Mr. Wainer said. “He was doing it because it was the right thing to do.” Along with another scientist, James Cooley, Mr. Tukey also developed the Fast Fourier Transform, an algorithm with wide application to the physical sciences. It helps astronomers, for example, determine the spectrum of light coming from a star more quickly than previously possible. As his career progressed, he also became a hub for other scientists. He was part of a group of Princeton professors that gathered regularly and included Lyman Spitzer Jr., who inspired the Hubble Space Telescope. Mr. Tukey also persuaded a group of the nation’s top statisticians to spend a year at Princeton in the early 1970’s working together on robust analysis problems, said David C. Hoaglin, a former student of Mr. Tukey. Mr. Tukey was a consultant to the Educational Testing Service, the Xerox Corporation and Merck & Company. From 1960 to 1980, he helped design the polls that the NBC television network used to predict and analyze elections. His first brush with publicity came in 1950, when the National Research Council appointed him to a committee to evaluate the Kinsey Report, which shocked many Americans by describing the country’s sexual habits as far more diverse than had been thought. From their first meeting, when Mr. Kinsey told Mr. Tukey to stop singing a Gilbert and Sullivan tune aloud while working, the two men clashed, according to “Alfred C. Kinsey,” a biography by James H. Jones. In a series of meetings over two years, Mr. Kinsey vigorously defended his work, which Mr. Tukey believed was seriously flawed, relying on a sample of people who knew each other. Mr. Tukey said a random selection of three people would have been better than a group of 300 chosen by Mr. Kinsey. 108

Davis Leonhardt John Tukey, 85, Statistician Who Coined 2 Crucial Words, obituary in the ‘New York Times’, 28–July–2000 You are in the process of being indoctrinated. We have not yet evolved a system of education that is not a system of indoctrination. We are sorry, but it is the best we can do. What you are being taught here is an amalgam of current prejudice and the choices of this particular culture. The slightest look at history will show how impermanent these must be. You are being taught by people who have been able to accommodate themselves to a regime of thought laid down by their predecessors. It is a self-perpetuating system. Those of you who are more robust and individual than others, will be encouraged to leave and find ways of educating yourself—educating your own judgment. Those that stay must remember, always and all the time, that they are being moulded and patterned to fit into the narrow and particular needs of this society. Doris Lessing The Golden Notebook (1962) That is what learning is. You suddenly understand something you’ve understood all your life, but in a new way. Doris Lessing Fine art and pizza delivery: what we do falls neatly in between. David Letterman There’s no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting. David Letterman Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. Sam Levenson Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital. Aaron Levenstein Le savant n’est pas l’homme qui fournit les vrais r´eponses; c’est celui qui poses les vraies questions. (The scientist isn’t the one who provides the right answers; it’s the one asks the right questions.) ´vi-Strauss Claude Le Le Cru et le Cuit (1964) Some ideas are so stupid that only intellectuals could believe them. Michael Levine There are lots of nice things you can do with sand; but do not try building a house on it. Clive Staples Lewis Mere Christianity (1952) No clever arrangement of bad eggs ever made a good omelette. Clive Staples Lewis We all want progress, but if you’re on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn, and walking back to the right road; in that case, the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive. Clive Staples Lewis “Give us a copper, Guv” said the beggar to the Treasury statistician, when he waylaid him in Parliament square. “I haven’t eaten for three days.” “Ah,” said the statistician, “and how does that compare with the same period last year?” Russell Lewis A good means to discovery is to take away certain parts of a system and to find out how the rest behaves. Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

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Nothing is more conducive to peace of mind than not having any opinions at all. Georg Christoph Lichtenberg I cannot say whether things will get better if we change; what I can say is they must change if they are to get better. Georg Christoph Lichtenberg We are too much accustomed to attribute to a single cause that which is the product of several, and the majority of our controversies come from that. Justus von Liebig He began a course of rigid mental discipline with the intent to improve his faculties, especially his powers of logic and language. Hence his fondness for Euclid, which he carried with him on the circuit till he could demonstrate with ease all the propositions in the six books; often studying far into the night, with a candle near his pillow, while his fellow-lawyers, half a dozen in a room, filled the air with interminable snoring. Abraham Lincoln Short Autobiography (1860) People who like this sort of thing will find this the sort of thing they like. Abraham Lincoln Judgment on a book. In G. W. E. Russell, ‘Collections and Reflections’ (1898) ch. 30 If I had eight hours to chop down a tree, I’d spend six sharpening my axe. Abraham Lincoln The best thing about the future is that it only comes one day at a time. Abraham Lincoln I’m a slow walker, but I never walk back. Abraham Lincoln ’Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt. Abraham Lincoln How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn’t make it a leg. Abraham Lincoln I believe that almost all important, useful ideas are simple. Peter Whittle has recently put it nicely in an autobiographical essay. ‘If a piece of work is heavy and complicated then it is wrong.’ . . . Some writers feel that to express their ideas in simple terms is degrading. Some use complexity to disguise the paucity of their material. In fact, simplicity is a virtue and when, as here, it is both original and useful, it can represent a real advance in knowledge. D. V. Lindley ‘Simplicity’, RSS News, April 1995 [Comment to Poincar´e on the Gaussian curve]: Les exp´erimentateurs s’imaginent que c’est un th´eor`eme de math´ematique, et les math´ematiciens d’ˆetre un fait exp´erimental. Gabriel Lippmann in H. Poincar´e, ‘Calcul des Probabilit´es’ (1896) Time sneaks up on you like a windshield on a bug. Jon Lithgow There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it. Mary Wilson Little

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Schoolmaster: ‘Suppose x is the number of sheep in the problem’. Pupil: ‘But, Sir, suppose x is not the number of sheep’. [I asked Prof. Wittgenstein was this not a profound philosophical joke, and he said it was.] J. E. Littlewood A Mathematician’s Miscellany (1953) In a Spectator competition, the following won a prize; subject: what would you most like to read on opening the morning paper? OUR SECOND COMPETITION The First Prize in the second of this year’s competitions goes to Mr. Arthur Robinson, whose witty entry was easily the best of those we received. His choice of what he would like to see on opening his paper was headed ‘Our Second Competition’, and was as follows: ‘The First Prize in the second of this year’s competitions goes to Mr. Arthur Robinson, whose witty entry was easily the best of those we received. His choice of what he would like to see on opening his paper was headed ‘Our Second Competition’, but owing to paper restrictions we cannot print all of it. J. E. Littlewood A Mathematician’s Miscellany (1953) Erasmus Darwin had a theory that once in a while one should perform a damn-fool experiment. It almost always fails, but when it does come off is terrific. Darwin played the trombone to his tulips. The result of this particular experiment was negative. J. E. Littlewood A Mathematician’s Miscellany (1953) Mathematics (by which I shall mean pure mathematics) has no grip on the real world; if probability is to deal with the real world it must contain elements outside mathematics; the meaning of ‘probability’ must relate to the real world, and there must be one or more ‘primitive’ propositions about the real world, from which we can then proceed deductively (i.e. mathematically). J. E. Littlewood A Mathematician’s Miscellany (1953) Attempts are made to sublimate the limit into some Pickwickian sense—‘limit’ in inverted commas. But either you mean the ordinary limit, or else you have the problem of explaining how ‘limit’ behaves, and you are no further. You do not make an illegitimate conception legitimate by putting it into inverted commas. J. E. Littlewood A Mathematician’s Miscellany (1953) ‘Perfect numbers’ certainly never did any good, but then they never did any particular harm. J. E. Littlewood A Mathematician’s Miscellany (1953) Improbabilities are apt to be overestimated. It is true that I should have been surprised in the past to learn that Professor Hardy had joined the Oxford Group. But one could not say the adverse chance was 106 : 1. Mathematics is a dangerous profession; an appreciable proportion of us go mad, and then this particular event would be quite likely. J. E. Littlewood A Mathematician’s Miscellany (1953) We come finally, however, to the relation of the ideal theory to real world, or “real” probability. If he is consistent a man of the mathematical school washes his hands of applications. To someone who wants them he would say that the ideal system runs parallel to the usual theory: “If this is what you want, try it: it is not my business to justify application of the system; that can only be done by philosophizing; I am a mathematician”. In practice he is apt to say: “try this; if it works that will justify it”. But now he is not merely philosophizing; he is committing the characteristic fallacy. Inductive experience that the system works is not evidence. J. E. Littlewood A Mathematician’s Miscellany (1953)

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You cannot feed the hungry on statistics. David Lloyd George Speech (1904) Don’t be afraid to take a big step. You can’t cross a chasm in two small jumps. David Lloyd George There is no branch of mathematics, however abstract, which may not some day be applied to phenomena of the real world. Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevskii New opinions are always suspected and usually opposed without any other reason but because they are not already common. John Locke An Essay Concerning Human Understanding (1690) It is one thing to show a man that he is in error, and another to put him in possession of truth. John Locke An Essay Concerning Human Understanding (1690) Hell is truth seen too late. John Locke ¨ Uberhaupt ist es f¨ ur den Forscher ein guter Morgensport, t¨aglich vor dem Fr¨ uhst¨ uck eine Lieblingshypothese einzustampfen—das erh¨ alt jung. (It is a good morning exercise for a research scientist to discard a pet hypothesis every day before breakfast— it keeps him young.) Konrad Lorenz Das Sogenannte B¨ ose (1966), ch. 2 Every man gets a narrower and narrower field of knowledge in which he must be an expert in order to compete with other people. The specialist knows more and more about less and less and finally knows everything about nothing. Konrad Lorenz Machines should work. People should think. Larry Lorenzoni The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. H. P. Lovecraft The Call of Cthulu (1926) The Analytical Engine weaves algebraic patterns, just as the Jacquard loom weaves flowers and leaves. Augusta Ada King, Countess Lovelace notes to Luigi Menabrea’s ‘The Sketch of the Analytical Engine’ (1843) Ignorance simplifies any problem. R. Lucke I wouldn’t trust AI techniques with monitoring large dynamic systems of the class of a medium-sized municipal toilet. Marek Lugowski mod.ai, 27–Mar–1987 Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts, and recycling it for more than its worth. Baz Luhrmann Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen) (1999)

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Die Arznei macht kranke, die Mathematik traurige und die Theologie s¨ undhafte Leute. (Medicine makes people ill, mathematics makes them sad and theology makes them sinful.) Martin Luther I’m afraid he’s at an even greater disadvantage in understanding economics, Prime Minister. He’s an economist. Jonathan Lynn & Sir Anthony Jay Yes Prime Minister, ‘A Real Partnership’ (1986) We are not retreating—we are advancing in another direction. General Douglas MacArthur The mathematician who pursues his studies without clear views of this matter, must often have the uncomfortable feeling that his paper and pencil surpass him in intelligence. Ernst Mach The Economy of Science (1883) Every statement in physics has to state relations between observable quantities. Ernst Mach Wisdom consists in being able to distinguish among dangers and make a choice of the least harmful. ` Machiavelli Niccolo The Prince (1513) Let us remember the unfortunate econometrican who, in one of the major functions of his system, had to use a proxy for risk and a dummy for sex. Fritz Machlup Journal of Political Economy July/August 1974, p. 892 How can we have any new ideas or fresh outlooks when 90 per cent of all the scientists who have ever lived have still not died? Alan Lindsay Mackay Scientific World 13 (1969): 17–21 Whatever man can design, man can figure out. Lary Maddock The Flying Saucer Gambit (1966) Science would be ruined if (like sports) it were to put competition above everything else, and if it were to clarify the rules of competition by withdrawing entirely into narrowly defined specialties. The rare scholars who are nomads-by-choice are essential to the intellectual welfare of the settled disciplines. Benoit Mandelbrot I tell them that if they will occupy themselves with the study of mathematics they will find in it the best remedy against the lusts of the flesh. Thomas Mann The Magic Mountain (1927) Order and simplification are the first steps toward mastery of a subject—the actual enemy is the unknown. Thomas Mann The Magic Mountain (1927) A great truth is a truth whose opposite is also a great truth. Thomas Mann Essay on Freud (1937) Report writing, like motor-car driving and love-making, is one of those activities which almost every Englishman thinks he can do well without instruction. The results are of course usually abominable. Tom Margerison in R. L. Weber ‘A Random Walk in Science’ (1973), edited by E. Mendoza

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an optimist is a guy that has never had much experience. Don Marquis archy and mehitabel (1927), ‘certain maxims of archy’ now and then there is a person born who is so unlucky that he runs into accidents which started to happen to somebody else. Don Marquis archys life of mehitabel (1933), ‘archy says’ An idea isn’t responsible for the people who believe in it. Don Marquis The Sun Dial (1918) If you make people think they’re thinking, they’ll love you; but if you really make them think, they’ll hate you. Don Marquis Education must have an end in view, for it is not an end in itself. Sybil Marshall An Experiment in Education (1963), Ch. 4 A child of five would understand this. Send somebody to fetch a child of five. Groucho Marx Duck Soup (1933) Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them. . . well, I have others. Groucho Marx Now there sits a man with an open mind. You can feel the draft from here. Groucho Marx I must say that I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a book. Groucho Marx From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it. Groucho Marx The philosophers have only interpreted the world in various ways; the point is to change it. Karl Marx Theses on Feuerbach (1845), no. 11 I suppose it is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail. Abraham Harold Maslow The Psychology of Science (1966) All great theorems were discovered after midnight. Adrian Mathesis In H. Eves, Return to Mathematical Circles (1988) How do you explain school to a higher intelligence? Melissa Mathison E. T. (film, 1982))

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L’exactitude n’est pas la v´erit´e. Henri Matisse Essay (1947) I have always sought to be understood, and when my words were garbled by critics or colleagues, I considered it no fault of theirs but my own, because I had not been clear enough to be comprehended. Henri Matisse If you see a formula in the Physical Review that extends over a quarter of a page, forget it. It’s wrong. Nature isn’t that complicated. Bernd T. Matthias Fast cars, fast women, fast algorithms. . . what more could a man want? Joe Mattis Like all weak men he laid an exaggerated stress on not changing one’s mind. William Somerset Maugham Of Human Bondage (1915) You can’t learn too soon that the most useful thing about a principle is that it can always be sacrificed to expediency. William Somerset Maugham The Circle (1921), Act 3 Man has always sacrificed truth to his vanity, comfort and advantage. He lives by make-believe. William Somerset Maugham The Summing Up (1938) It is bad enough to know the past; it would be intolerable to know the future. William Somerset Maugham in Richard Hughes ‘Foreign Devil’ (1972) People ask for criticism, but they only want praise. William Somerset Maugham There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are. William Somerset Maugham It is a great nuisance that knowledge can only be acquired by hard work. William Somerset Maugham Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit. William Somerset Maugham It wasn’t until late in life that I discovered how easy it is to say ‘I don’t know’. William Somerset Maugham I feel like a fugitive from the law of averages. William H. Mauldin The actual science of logic is conversant at present only with things either certain, impossible, or entirely doubtful, none of which (fortunately) we have to reason on. Therefore the true logic for this world is the calculus of Probabilities, which takes account of the magnitude of the probability which is, or ought to be, in a reasonable man’s mind. James Clerk Maxwell letter to L. Campbell (1850) I think it would be totally inappropriate for me to even contemplate what I am thinking about. Don Mazankowski (Canadian Finance Minister)

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Any clod can have the facts, but having opinions is an art Charles McCabe San Francisco Chronicle Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? Charlie McCarthy (Edgar Bergen) In 1965 the Russian mathematician Alexander Kronrod said “Chess is the Drosophila of artificial intelligence.” However, computer chess has developed as genetics might have if the geneticists had concentrated their efforts starting in 1910 on breeding racing Drosophila. We would have some science, but mainly we would have very fast fruit flies. John McCarthy Science, 6–June–1997 There are no new truths, but only truths that have not been recognized by those who have perceived them without noticing. Mary McCarthy On the Contrary (1961) ‘Vita Activa’ Don’t bite my finger—look where it’s pointing. Warren S. McCulloch in Stafford Beer ‘Platform for Change’ (1975) Shakespeare would have grasped wave functions, Donne would have understood complementarity and relative time. They would have been excited. What richness! They would have plundered this new science for their imagery. And they would have educated their audiences too. But you ‘arts’ people, you’re not only ignorant of these magnificent things, You’re rather proud of knowing nothing. Ian McEwan The Child in Time (1987), ch. 2 There is only one thing more painful than learning from experience, and that is not learning from experience. Archibald McLeish I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant. Robert McCloskey US State Department spokesman The medium is the message Marshall McLuhan Understanding Media (1964) ch. 2 I don’t necessarily agree with everything I say. Marshall McLuhan A computer does not substitute for judgment any more than a pencil substitutes for literacy. But writing without a pencil is no particular advantage. Robert S. McNamara The Essence of Security (1968) Sequential Analysis: A means of stopping a trial before it becomes useful. Guernsey McPearson If at first it doesn’t fit, fit, fit again. John McPhee In Suspect Terrain (1983)

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There are in this world optimists who feel that any symbol that starts off with an integral sign must necessarily denote something that will have every property that they should like an integral to possess. This of course is quite annoying to us rigorous mathematicians; what is even more annoying is that by doing so they often come up with the right answer. E. J. McShane Bull. Amer. Math. Soc. 69 (1963): 611 While attending a recent baseball game with my 7-year old daughter, she asked me how many people I thought were there. I replied “About 27,000”. She looked around for a moment, then turned to me and asked, “Are you counting yourself?” Holt Mebane rec.humor.funny, 10–Apr–1997 People who write obscurely are either unskilled in writing or up to mischief. Sir Peter Brian Medawar Pluto’s Republic (1984): Science and Literature If a person (a) is sick, (b) receives treatment intended to make him better, and (c) gets better, then no power of reasoning known to medical science can convince him that it may not have been the treatment that restored his health. Sir Peter Brian Medawar The Art of the Soluble (1967) The human mind treats a new idea the way the body treats a strange protein. It rejects it. Sir Peter Brian Medawar There is no substitute for understanding what you are doing. Loren P. Meissner If the mathematical expression of our ideas leads to equations which cannot be integrated, the working hypothesis will either have to be verified some other way, or else relegated to the great repository of unverified speculations. J. W. Mellor Higher Mathematics for Students of Chemistry and Physics (1902) A man thinks that by mouthing hard words he understands hard things. Herman Melville Conscience: the inner voice which warns us that someone may be looking. Henry Louis Mencken A Little Book in C Major (1916) It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by a resort to mathematics, though she is still forbidden to resort to physics and chemistry. Henry Louis Mencken Notebooks (1956), ‘Minority Report’, 62 Science, at bottom, is really anti-intellectual. It always distrusts pure reason, and demands the production of objective fact. Henry Louis Mencken Notebooks (1956), ‘Minority Report’, 412 Criticism is prejudice made plausible. Henry Louis Mencken There are some people who read too much: the bibliobibuli. I know some who are constantly drunk on books, as other men are drunk on whiskey or religion. They wander through this most diverting and stimulating of worlds in a haze, seeing nothing and hearing nothing. Henry Louis Mencken

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I never lecture, not because I am shy or a bad speaker, but simply because I detest the sort of people who go to lectures and don’t want to meet them. Henry Louis Mencken We are here and it is now. Further than that all human knowledge is moonshine. Henry Louis Mencken For every complex problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong. Henry Louis Mencken Bridges would not be safer if only people who knew the proper definition of a real number were allowed to design them. Norman David Mermin ‘Topological Theory of Defects’, Review of Modern Physics, July 1979 Windows NT 5.0 is an evolutionary, not revolutionary, release of the Windows NT operating system. While there are important new features in this release, version 5.0 will build on a proven system architecture and incorporate tens of thousands of bug fixes from version 4.0. Microsoft from http://www.microsoft.com/ntserver/community/ An Englishman, even if he is alone, forms an orderly queue of one. George Mikes How to be an Alien (1946) . . . all ideas need to be heard, because each idea contains one aspect of the truth. By examining that aspect, we add to our own idea of the truth. Even ideas that have no truth in them whatsoever are useful because by disproving them, we add support to our own ideas. John Stuart Mill NOT ‘On Liberty’ (1859) Induction is a process of inference; it proceeds from the known to the unknown. John Stuart Mill Euclid alone has looked on Beauty bare. Edna St. Vincent Millay sonnet in ‘The Harp-Weaver’ (1923) Mathematics is the science of saving thought. G. A. Miller Amer. Math. Monthly 15 (1908): 197 Even if it doesn’t work, there is something healthy and invigorating about direct action. Henry Miller I am a Bear of Very Little Brain, and long words Bother me. Alan Alexander Milne Winnie-the-Pooh (1926) “It wasn’t an easy sum to do, But that’s what it is,” said Pooh, said he. “That’s what it is,” said Pooh. Alan Alexander Milne Now We Are Six (1927) ‘Us Two’ One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries. Alan Alexander Milne In my music, I’m trying to play the truth of what I am. The reason it’s difficult is because I’m changing all the time. Charlie Mingus 118

Making the simple complicated is commonplace; making the complicated simple, awesomely simple, that’s creativity. Charlie Mingus Reality is something you rise above. Liza Minnelli I bet the human brain is a kluge. Marvin Minsky If you steal from one author, it’s plagiarism; if you steal from many, it’s research. Wilson Mizner in Alva Johnston ‘The Legendary Mizners’ (1953) I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education. Wilson Mizner For God’s sake, stop researching for a while and begin to think. Sir Walter Hamilton Moberley The Crisis in the University (1949) It is a fallacy to suppose that by omitting a subject you teach nothing about it. On the contrary you teach that it is to be omitted, and that it is therefore a matter of secondary importance. And you teach this not openly and explicitly, which would invite criticism; you simply take it for granted and thereby insinuate it silently, insidiously, and all but irresistibly. Sir Walter Hamilton Moberley The Crisis in the University (1949) ‘I have 25 years’ experience’ equals ‘I have one year’s experience, and it is 25 years old’. Claus Moller in BBC TV program Business Matters, 11–Apr–1988 The only cats worth anything are the cats who take chances. Thelonius Monk Ever notice that ‘what the hell’ is always the right decision? Marilyn Monroe The knowledge of numbers is one of the chief distinctions between us and the brutes. Lady Mary Wortley Montagu letter, 1753 There is no course of life so weak and sottish as that which is managed by order, method, and discipline. Montaigne (Michel Eyquem de Montaigne) We can be knowledgeable with other men’s knowledge, but we cannot be wise with other men’s wisdom. Montaigne (Michel Eyquem de Montaigne) I prefer the company of peasants because they have not been educated sufficiently to reason incorrectly. Montaigne (Michel Eyquem de Montaigne) A wise man sees as much as he ought, not as much as he can. Montaigne (Michel Eyquem de Montaigne) obstetrician: More apparatus, please, nurse: the E.E.G., the B.P. monitor, and the A.V.V. nurse #1: Yes. Certainly, Doctor. doctor spenser: And, uh, get the machine that goes ‘ping’. obstetrician: And get the most expensive machines, in case the administrator comes. Monty Python The Meaning of Life (film, 1983)

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obstetrician: . . . Uh, who are you? mr. moore: I’m the husband. obstetrician: I’m sorry. Only people involved are allowed in here. All right. mrs. moore: What do I do? doctor: Mmm. Yes? mrs. moore: What do I do? doctor: Nothing, dear. You’re not qualified. obstetrician: Leave it to us. mrs. moore: What’s that for? obstetrician: That’s the machine that goes ’ping’. [ping!] You see? That means your baby is still alive. doctor: And that’s the most expensive machine in the whole hospital! obstetrician: Yes, it cost over three quarters of a million pounds. doctor: Aren’t you lucky? nurse: The administrator is here, doctor. obstetrician: Switch everything on! Monty Python The Meaning of Life (film, 1983) He who hasn’t hacked assembly language as a youth has no heart. He who does so as an adult has no brain. John Moore rec.humor.funny, 8–Sept–1992 The Internet is full. Go away. ‘Morbus’ http://www.disobey.com/devilshat/ds011101.htm The moving power of mathematical invention is not reasoning but imagination. Augustus de Morgan A book is the only place in which you can examine a fragile thought without breaking it, or explore an explosive idea without fear it will go off in your face. It is one of the few havens remaining where a man’s mind can get both provocation and privacy. Edward P. Morgan The words figure and fictitious both derive from the same Latin root, fingere. Beware! M. J. Moroney Facts from Figures (1951) The only rule I have found to have any validity in writing is not to bore yourself. John Mortimer Clinging to the Wreckage (1982) Education costs money, but then so does ignorance. Sir Claus Moser Speech at British Association, Swansea, 20–Aug–1990 Truth I have no trouble with, it’s the facts I get all screwed up. Farley Mowat When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the universe. John Muir Knowledge is power if you know it about the right person. Ethel Mumford If you fall in love with a machine there is something wrong with your love life. If you worship a machine there is something wrong with your religion. Lewis Mumford Art and Technics (1952)

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[Murphy’s Law]: If there are two or more ways to do something, and one of those ways can result in a catastrophe, then someone will do it. Edward A. Murphy Jr. (1949) Anyone who isn’t confused doesn’t really understand the situation. Edward R. Murrow in Walter Bryan ‘The Improbable Irish’ (1969) Everyone is a prisoner of his own experiences. No one can eliminate prejudices—just recognize them. Edward R. Murrow Like so many aging college people, Pnin had long ceased to notice the existence of students on the campus. Vladimir Nabokov Pnin (1953) Ch. 3, Sect. vi Discussion in class, which means letting twenty young blockheads and two cocky neurotics discuss something that neither their teacher nor they know. Vladimir Nabokov Pnin (1953) Ch. 6, Sect. x languages shape the way we think, or don’t. Erik Naggum comp.lang.lisp, 20–Mar–2000 You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions. Mahfouz Naguib A University without students is like ointment without a fly. Ed Nathe There’s certainly a growing atmosphere of academic totalitarianism. It shows up in things like the attacks on the legitimacy of the more eclectic and interdisciplinary fields, or in the increasing constraints on student choice. Tom Naylor We do not have censorship. What we have is a limitation on what newspapers can report. Louis Nel (South African Deputy Minister of Information) I am a design chauvinist. I believe that good design is magical and not to be lightly tinkered with. The difference between a great design and a lousy one is in the meshing of the thousand details that either fit or don’t, and the spirit of the passionate intellect that has tied them together, or tried. That’s why programming—or buying software—on the basis of “lists of features” is a doomed and misguided effort. The features can be thrown together, as in a garbage can, or carefully laid together and interwoven in elegant unification, as in APL, or the Forth language, or the game of chess. Ted Nelson My favorite (unit) is the megaparsec-barn, a convenient unit of volume roughly 3.1 millilitres, if somewhat long and thin. Christopher Neufeld alt.folklore.computers, 19–May–1993 Young man, in mathematics you don’t understand things. You just get used to them. John von Neumann in G. Zukav ‘The Dancing Wu Li Masters’ (1979) It would appear that we have reached the limits of what it is possible to achieve with computer technology, although one should be careful with such statements, as they tend to sound pretty silly in 5 years. John von Neumann (1949)

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There’s no sense in being precise when you don’t even know what you’re talking about. John von Neumann Anyone who attempts to generate random numbers by deterministic means is, of course, living in a state of sin. John von Neumann (1951) The sciences do not try to explain, they hardly even try to interpret, they mainly make models. By a model is meant a mathematical construct which, with the addition of certain verbal interpretations, describes observed phenomena. The justification of such a mathematical construct is solely and precisely that it is expected to work. John von Neumann You wake me up early in the morning to tell me I am right? Please wait until I am wrong. John von Neumann (on being phoned at 10 a.m.) Probabilities are not very interesting when you are dead. Peter G. Neumann Aerial flight is one of that class of problems with which men will never have to cope. Simon Newcomb Those for whom words have lost their value are likely to find that ideas have also lost their value. Edwin Newman To be sure, mathematics can be extended to any branch of knowledge, including economics, provided the concepts are so clearly defined as to permit accurate symbolic representation. That is only another way of saying that in some branches of discourse it is desirable to know what you are talking about. James R. Newman The World of Mathematics (1956) The Theory of Groups is a branch of mathematics in which one does something to something and then compares the result with the result obtained from doing the same thing to something else, or something else to the same thing. James R. Newman The World of Mathematics (1956) We can believe what we choose. We are answerable for what we choose to believe. John Henry Newman Letter to Mrs William Froude, 27 June 1948 If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants. Isaac Newton Letter to Robert Hooke, 5–Feb–1676 I do not know what I may appear to the world. But, to myself, I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the seashore, diverting myself in now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me. Isaac Newton in Joseph Spence ‘Anecdotes’, ed. J. Osborn (1966) No great discovery was ever made without a bold guess. Isaac Newton God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things which should be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other. Reinhold Niebuhr (1932)

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Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies. Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche Human, all too Human (1878) There are no facts, only interpretations. Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche Nachlass (notebooks, publ. 1900) No more fiction: we calculate; but that we may calculate, we had to make fiction first. Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche The true foundation of theology is to ascertain the character of God. It is by the art of Statistics that law in the social sphere can be ascertained and codified, and certain aspects of the character of God thereby revealed. The study of statistics is thus a religious service. Florence Nightingale in F. N. David ‘Games, God and Gambling’ (1962) We don’t see things as they are. We see things as we are. Ana¨ıs Nin Sometimes the only sensible thing to do is panic! Larry Niven A Gift From Earth (1968) Speculation starts with assumptions. If you don’t like mine, try your own. Larry Niven The Theory and Practice of Teleportation (1969) You’ve got to learn to think paranoid. Larry Niven Ringworld (1970) It’s a nitwit idea. Nitwit ideas are for emergencies. The rest of the time you go by the Book, which is mostly a collection of nitwit ideas that worked. Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle The Mote in God’s Eye (1974) Any fool can foresee the past. Larry Niven The Integral Trees (1983) No knowledge is worth gaining unless it can be reported. Larry Niven The Smoke Ring (1987) Half of wisdom is learning what to unlearn. Larry Niven The Ringworld Throne (1996) My own view is that taping of conversations for historical purposes was a bad decision. Richard Milhous Nixon the Observer, Sayings of the Week, 19–May–1974 Solutions are not the answer. Richard Milhous Nixon Oh, I get lucky a lot. I get lucky at four in the morning in the law library. Louis Nizer

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Laws were made to be broken. Christopher North (Professor John Wilson) Blackwood’s Magazine (April 1929) ‘Noctes Ambrosianae’ no. 42 As it seems to me, in Perl you have to be an expert to correctly make a nested data structure like, say, a list of hashes of instances. In Python, you have to be an idiot not to be able to do it, because you just write it down. Peter Norvig comp.lang.functional, 16–Aug–2000 The study of mathematics cannot be replaced by any other activity that will train and develop man’s purely logical faculties to the same level of rationality. C. O. Oakley American Mathematical Monthly (1949) 56: 19 Claiming Java is easier than C++ is like saying that K2 is shorter than Everest. Larry O’Brien (editor, Software Development) Essentia non sunt multiplicanda praeter necessitatem. (Entities are not to be multiplied beyond necessity.) William of Occam (‘Occam’s razor’) The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it. Flannery O’Connor Mathematics is a process of constructing knowledge, not acquiring it. Susan Ohanian Garbage Pizzas, Patchwork Quilts, and Math Magic (1992) He had a style all his own. A multiple choice test he once gave to a class of undergraduate students contained a question which had the following four possible answers: choice A—the answer is 3, choice B—“none of the above”, choice C—“none of the above”, choice D—“none of the above.” What made the problem decidedly Roberts was that the only correct answer was B. Ohio State University, Department of Statistics News, ‘Remembering Robert Bartoszynski’ (obituary) (1998) Elegance is not optional. Richard A. O’Keefe The Craft of Prolog (1990) There is no need for any individual to have a computer in their home. Kenneth Harry Olson, President of Digital Equipment Corp. World Future Society Convention (1977) Drugs have taught an entire generation of English kids the metric system. P. J. O’Rourke Modern Manners (1984) Never fight an inanimate object. P. J. O’Rourke To be surprised, to wonder, is to begin to understand. ´ Ortega y Gasset Jose Our firmest convictions are apt to be the most suspect, they mark our limitations and our bounds. Life is a petty thing unless it is moved by the indomitable urge to extend its boundaries. ´ Ortega y Gasset Jose

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Doublethink means the power of holding two contradictory beliefs in one’s mind simultaneously, and accepting both of them. George Orwell Nineteen Eighty-Four (1949) Being in a minority, even a minority of one, did not make you mad. There was truth, and there was untruth, and if you clung to the truth even against the whole world, you were not mad. ‘Sanity is not statistical.’ George Orwell Nineteen Eighty-Four (1949) Reality is not external. Reality exists in the human mind, and nowhere else. George Orwell Nineteen Eighty-Four (1949) Two and two are four. Sometimes, Winston. Sometimes they are five. Sometimes they are three. Sometimes they are all of them at once. You must try harder. It is not easy to become sane. George Orwell Nineteen Eighty-Four (1949) Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. If that is granted, all else follows. George Orwell Nineteen Eighty-Four (1949) There is no need for these hypotheses to be true, or even to be at all like the truth; rather one thing is sufficient for them—that they should yield calculations which agree with the observations. Osiander Preface to Copernicus’ De Revolutionbus (1543) Take rest; a field that has rested gives a beautiful crop. Ovid (Publius Ovidius Naso) I like to browse in occult bookshops if for no other reason than to refresh my commitment to science. Heinz Pagels The Dreams of Reason (1989) I do not believe that any two men, on what are called doctrinal points, think alike who think at all. It is only those who have not thought who appear to agree. Thomas Paine The Rights of Man pt. 2 (1792) The infidelity of the Gentile world, and that more especially of men of rank and learning in it, is resolved into a principle which, in my judgment, will account for the inefficacy of any argument, or any evidence whatever, viz. contempt prior to examination. William Paley A View of the Evidences of Christianity (1794) Why speculate when you can calculate? Vijay Pandharipande Give me fruitful error any time, full of seeds, bursting with its own corrections. You can keep your sterile truth for yourself. Vilfredo Pareto comment on Kepler New Scientist readers are concerned about their e-mail boxes being bombarded with spam and the need for better filters (3 May, p24). However, they seem to have overlooked the benefits to be gained from all these spam messages. For instance, I have been accepting all offers made to me by e-mail since the beginning of this year, and my penis is now 43 metres long. Rod Paris New Scientist, 17–May–2003

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. . . no woman should be kept on the Pill for 20 years until, in fact, a sufficient number have been kept on the Pill for 20 years. Sir Alan Sterling Parkes Nature 11–Apr–1970 When anyone says “theoretically”, they really mean “not really”. David Parnas Usenet is mindful drivel. James ‘Kibo’ Parry Le silence ´eternal de ces espace infins m’effraie. (The eternal silence of these infinite spaces terrifies me.) Blaise Pascal Pens´ees (1657) sect. 2, no. 162 It is not certain that everything is uncertain. Blaise Pascal Pens´ees (1657) We are usually convinced more easily by reasons we have found ourselves than by those which have occurred to others. Blaise Pascal Pens´ees (1657) Reason’s last step is the recognition that there are an infinite number of things which are beyond it. Blaise Pascal Pens´ees (1657) Everything that is written merely to please the author is worthless. Blaise Pascal The excitement that a gambler feels when making a bet is equal to the amount he might win times the probability of winning it. Blaise Pascal Dans les champs de l’observation le hazard ne favorise que les esprits pr´epar´es. (In the field of observation, chance favours only the prepared mind.) Louis Pasteur Address, University of Lille, 7–Dec–1854 Il n’existe pas de sciences appliqu´ees, mais seulement des applications de la science. (There are no such things as applied sciences, only applications of science.) Louis Pasteur Address, 11–Sept–1872 Unfortunate those scientists who have only clear thoughts in their heads! Louis Pasteur If you cannot grok the overall structure of a program while taking a shower [with no external memory aids], you are not ready to code it. Richard Pattis When debugging, novices insert corrective code; experts remove defective code. Richard Pattis When teaching a rapidly changing technology, perspective is more important than content. Richard Pattis

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Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do, and they will surprise you with their ingenuity. General George S Patton, Jr. War As I Knew It (1947) Ich habe nichts dagegen wenn Sie langsam denken, Herr Doktor, aber ich habe etwas dagegen wenn Sie rascher publizieren als denken. (I don’t mind your thinking slowly: I mind your publishing faster than you can think.) Wolfgang Pauli This isn’t right. This isn’t even wrong. Wolfgang Pauli [on being asked to teach a 9am class] Impossible. I never stay up that late. Wolfgang Pauli The best way to have a good idea is to have a lot of ideas. Linus Pauling Consider a precise number that is well known to generations of parents and doctors: the normal human body temperature of 98.6 Farenheit. Recent investigations involving millions of measurements reveal that this number is wrong; normal human body temperature is actually 98.2 Farenheit. The fault, however, lies not with Dr. Wunderlich’s original measurements—they were averaged and sensibly rounded to the nearest degree: 37 Celsius. When this temperature was converted to Farenheit, however, the rounding was forgotten and 98.6 was taken to be accurate to the nearest tenth of a degree. Had the original interval between 36.5 and 37.5 Celsius been translated, the equivalent Farenheit temperatures would have ranged from 97.7 to 99.5. Apparently, discalculia can even cause fevers. John Allen Paulos A Mathematician Reads the Newspaper (1995) Mathematics is no more computation than typing is literature. John Allen Paulos 79.48% of all statistics are made up on the spot. John Allen Paulos Balls skipping in the sky. Sarah Payman-Shaw (age 20 months) on first seeing juggling Mathematics is the science which draws necessary conclusions. Benjamin Peirce Linear Associative Algebra, Amer. J. Math. 4 (1881): 97 The essence of belief is the establishment of a habit. Charles Sanders Peirce Illustrations of the Logic of Science, II (‘Popular Science Monthly’ Jan 1878) Mathematics is purely hypothetical: it produces nothing but conditional propositions. Charles Sanders Peirce One man’s constant is another man’s variable. Alan J. Perlis Epigrams in Programming #1, SIGPLAN Notices 17(9):7-13 In the long run, every program becomes rococo, and then rubble. Alan J. Perlis Epigrams in Programming #14, SIGPLAN Notices 17(9):7-13

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Everything should be built top-down, except the first time. Alan J. Perlis Epigrams in Programming #15, SIGPLAN Notices 17(9):7-13 If a listener nods his head when you’re explaining your program, wake him up. Alan J. Perlis Epigrams in Programming #17, SIGPLAN Notices 17(9):7-13 A language that doesn’t affect the way you think about programming is not worth knowing. Alan J. Perlis Epigrams in Programming #19, SIGPLAN Notices 17(9):7-13 Optimization hinders evolution. Alan J. Perlis Epigrams in Programming #21, SIGPLAN Notices 17(9):7-13 There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works. Alan J. Perlis Epigrams in Programming #40, SIGPLAN Notices 17(9):7-13 When we write programs that “learn”, it turns out that we do and they don’t. Alan J. Perlis Epigrams in Programming #63, SIGPLAN Notices 17(9):7-13 . . . the computing field is always in need of new clich´es. Alan J. Perlis Epigrams in Programming #75, SIGPLAN Notices 17(9):7-13 Don’t have good ideas if you aren’t willing to be responsible for them. Alan J. Perlis Epigrams in Programming #95, SIGPLAN Notices 17(9):7-13 One can’t proceed from the informal to the formal by formal means. Alan J. Perlis Epigrams in Programming #102, SIGPLAN Notices 17(9):7-13 You think you know when you can learn, are more sure when you can write, even more when you can teach, but certain when you can program. Alan J. Perlis Epigrams in Programming #116, SIGPLAN Notices 17(9):7-13 Hardware: the parts of a computer system that can be kicked. Jeff Pesis Since authors seldom, if ever, say what they mean; the following glossary is offered to neophytes in mathematical research to help them understand the language that surrounds the formulas. Since mathematical writing, like mathematics, involves many undefined concepts, it seems best to illustrate the usage by interpretation of examples rather than to attempt definition. Analogue. This is an a. of: I have to have some excuse for publishing it. Applications. This is of interest in a.: I have to have some excuse for publishing it. Complete. The proof is now c.: I cant finish it. Details. I cannot follow the d. of Xs proof: Its wrong. We omit the d.: I cant do it. Difficult. This problem is d.: I dont know the answer. (Cf. Trivial.) Generality. Without loss of g.: I have done an easy special case. Ideas. To fix the I.: To consider the only case I can do. Ingenious. Xs proof is I.: I understand it. Interest. It may be of I. I have to have some excuse for publishing it. 128

Interesting. Xs paper is I.: I dont understand it. Known. This is a k. result but I reproduce the proof for the convenience of the reader: My paper isnt long enough. Language. Par abus de l.: In the terminology used by other authors. (Cf. Notation.) Natural. It is n. to begin with the following considerations: We have to start somewhere. New. This was proved by X but the following n. proof may present points of interest: I cant understand X. Notation. To simplify the n.: It is too much trouble to change now. Observed. It will be o. that: I hope you have not noticed that. Obvious. It is o.: I cant prove it. Reader. The details may be left to the r.: I cant do it. Referee. I wish to thank the r. for his suggestions: I loused it up. Straightforward. By a s. computation: I lost my notes. Trivial. This problem is t.: I know the answer (Cf. Difficult.) Well-known. The result is w.: I cant find the reference. Exercises for the student: Interpret the following. 1. I am indebted to Professor X for stimulating discussions. 2. However, as we have seen. 3. In general. 4. It is easily shown. 5. To be continued. This article was prepared with the opposition of the National Silence Foundation.

´tard, Society for Useless Research (E. S. Pondiczery) H. Pe ‘A Brief Dictionary of Phrases Used in Mathematical Writing’, American Mathematical Monthly 73:196–7 (1966) If you don’t know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else. Laurence Johnston Peter and Raymond Hull The Peter Principle (1969) ch. 15 An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today. Laurence Johnston Peter Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it. Laurence Johnston Peter We trained hard—but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up into teams we were reorganized. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing, and what a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress while actually producing confusion, inefficiency, and demoralization. Petronius Arbiter The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything. E. J. Phelps speech at Mansion House 24–Jan–1899 The universe is full of magical things, patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper. Eden Phillpotts Intelligence is what you use when you don’t know what to do. Jean Piaget We all know that Art is not truth. Art is a lie which makes us realise the truth. Pablo Picasso In Dore Ashton Picasso on Art (1972) ‘Two statements by Picasso’

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Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. Pablo Picasso Everything you can imagine is real. Pablo Picasso There is no abstract art. You must always start with something. Pablo Picasso I am always doing that which I can not do, in order that I may learn how to do it. Pablo Picasso Bad artists copy. Great artists steal. Pablo Picasso In other words, apart from the known and the unknown, what else is there? Harold Pinter The Homecoming (1965), Act II scene 1 One geometry cannot be more true than another; it can only be more convenient. Geometry is not true, it is advantageous. Robert M. Pirsig Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance (1974) III.22 Traditional scientific method has always been at the very best, 20–20 hindsight. It’s good for seeing where you’ve been. Robert M. Pirsig Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance (1974) III.24 What do I consider is most important for an abstract language to support efficiently? My time. Time is the only true, non-renewable commodity. I eschew languages like C because they often waste enormous amounts of my time trying to develop and debug programs, and justify it on the basis of micro-differences in speed that have just never ended up mattering to me. I regard C as appropriate for use as an assembly language, but it doesn’t provide enough high-level services for me. When I’m old and grey and look back on my life, I want to have done a lot of interesting things, not just have done a few interesting things but “boy were they fast”. Kent M. Pitman Slashdot (http://slashdot.org) November 2001 An important scientific innovation rarely makes its way by gradually winning over and converting its opponents: it rarely happens that Saul becomes Paul. What does happen is that its opponents gradually die out, and that the growing generation is familiarised with the ideas from the beginning. Max Planck Scientific Autobiography (1949) Let no one ignorant of geometry enter my door. Plato Tzetzes, Chiliad, 8, 972 The knowledge at which geometry aims is the knowledge of the eternal. Plato Republic, VII, 527 The unexamined life is not worth living to a human. Plato Apology He is unworthy of the name of man who is ignorant of the fact that the diagonal of a square is incommensurate with its side. Plato 130

Mathematics is like checkers in being suitable for the young, not too difficult, amusing, and without peril to the state. Plato My definition of an expert in any field is a person who knows enough about what’s really going on to be scared. P.J. Plauger Why is it that we entertain the belief that for every purpose odd numbers are the most effectual? Pliny Natural History, Bk. 28 ch. 5 In these matters the only certainty is that nothing is certain. Pliny To find fault is easy; to do better may be difficult. Plutarch The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be kindled. Plutarch Yet to calculate is not in itself to analyse. Edgar Allan Poe The Murders in the Rue Morgue (1841) Any story should stand on its own feet—which means that, generally speaking, anything a writer has to say about his own story is better left unsaid. If it’s worth saying, why didn’t he say it in the story itself? Frederik Pohl (1969) We regret the incident of next week, for it was done in haste and in error. Frederik Pohl The Gold at the Starbow’s End (1972) Q: What is worse than a prediction that doesn’t come true? A: A prediction that comes true sooner than you expect. Frederik Pohl Heechee Rendezvous (1984) Reality is a subjective matter. Frederik Pohl Heechee Rendezvous (1984) Science is not built on certainties; it is only a question of probabilities. Frederik Pohl The Annals of the Heechee (1987) Science is built up with facts, as a house is with stones. But a collection of facts is no more science than a heap of stones is a house. ´ Jules Henri Poincare La Science et l’Hypoth`ese (1905) It is often said that experiments must be made without preconceived ideas. That is impossible. Not only would it make all experiments barren, but that would be attempted which could not be done. ´ Jules Henri Poincare La Science et l’Hypoth`ese (1905)

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A scientist worthy of his name, above all a mathematician, experiences in his work the same impression as an artist; his pleasure is as great and of the same nature. ´ Jules Henri Poincare in N. Rose, Mathematical Maxims and Minims (1988) Dans les sciences math´ematiques, une bonne notation a la mˆeme importance philosophique qu’une bonne classification dans les sciences naturelles. ´ Jules Henri Poincare It is by logic that we prove, but by intuition we discover. ´ Jules Henri Poincare Mathematics is the art of giving the same name to different things. ´ Jules Henri Poincare Mathematicians do not study objects, but relations between objects. Thus, they are free to replace some objects by others so long as the relations remain unchanged. Content to them is irrelevant: they are interested in form only. ´ Jules Henri Poincare It is the simple hypotheses of which one must be most wary; because these are the ones that have the most chances of passing unnoticed. ´ Jules Henri Poincare The scientist does not study nature because it is useful; he studies it because he delights in it, and he delights in it because it is beautiful. If nature were not beautiful, it would not be worth knowing, and if nature were not worth knowing, life would not be worth living. Of course, I do not here speak of that beauty which strikes the senses, the beauty of qualities and appearances; not that I undervalue such beauty, far from it, but it has nothing to do with science; I mean that profounder beauty which comes from the harmonious order of the parts and which a pure intelligence can grasp. This it is which gives body, a structure so to speak, to the iridescent appearances which flatter our senses, and without this support the beauty of these fugitive dreams would be only imperfect, because it would be vague and always fleeting. ´ Jules Henri Poincare Life is good for only two things: discovering mathematics and teaching mathematics. ´on Poisson Sime quoted in ‘Mathematics Magazine’ 64 no.1, (1991) The traditional mathematics professor of the popular legend is absentminded. He usually appears in public with a lost umbrella in each hand. He prefers to face the blackboard and to turn his back to the class. He writes a, he says b, he means c; but it should be d. Some of his sayings are handed down from generation to generation. “In order to solve this differential equation you look at it till a solution occurs to you.” “This principle is so perfectly general that no particular application of it is possible.” “Geometry is the science of correct reasoning on incorrect figures.” “My method to overcome a difficulty is to go round it.” “What is the difference between method and device? A method is a device which you used twice.” ´ George Polya How To Solve It (1945) Should we teach mathematical proofs in the high school? In my opinion, the answer is yes. . . Rigorous proofs are the hallmark of mathematics, they are an essential part of mathematics’ contribution to general culture. ´ George Polya Mathematical discovery: On understanding, learning, and teaching problem solving (1981) The beauty in mathematics is seeing the truth without effort. ´ George Polya

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When introduced at the wrong time or place, good logic may be the worst enemy of good teaching. ´ George Polya There are three roads to ruin; women, gambling and technicians. The most pleasant is with women, the quickest is with gambling, but the surest is with technicians. Georges Pompidou Sunday Telegraph 26–May–1968 Blessed is the man who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed. Alexander Pope Letter to Fortescue, 23–Sept–1725 A man should never be ashamed to own he has been wrong, which is but saying in other words that he is wiser today than he was yesterday. Alexander Pope Science must begin with myths, and with the criticism of myths. Sir Karl Raimund Popper ‘The Philosophy of Science’ in C. A. Mace (ed.) British Philosophy in the Mid-Century (1957) Science may be described as the art of systematic oversimplification. Sir Karl Raimund Popper the Observer, Sayings of the Week, 1–Aug–1982 Where a calculator on the ENIAC is equipped with 19,000 vacuum tubes and weighs 30 tons, computers in the future may have only 1,000 vacuum tubes and perhaps only weigh 1.5 tons. Popular Mechanics (March 1949) One of the endearing things about mathematicians is the extent to which they will go to avoid doing any real work. Matthew Pordage Should we force science down the throats of those that have no taste for it? Is it our duty to drag them kicking and screaming into the twenty-first century? I am afraid that it is. Professor Sir George Porter ‘You damn sadist,’ said mr cummings, ‘you try to make people think.’ Ezra Pound Can I say that if there is one thing that really pisses me off it is middle-class whingers going on about fucking tuition fees. Stephen Pound (Labour MP for Ealing North) Response to constituent’s phone call (2001) The trouble with unimaginable horrors was that they were too easy to imagine. Terry Pratchett The Light Fantastic (1986) Theories, diverse as they are, have two things in common. They explain the observed facts, and they are completely and utterly wrong. Terry Pratchett The Light Fantastic (1986) . . . magicians have calculated that million-to-one chances crop up nine times out of ten. Terry Pratchett Mort (1987)

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“What, old ‘Numbers’ Riktor? . . . Total madman. Thought you could measure everythin’. Not just lengths and weights and that kind of stuff, but everythin’. If it exists, he said, you ought to be able to measure it. . . . Reckoned you could measure truth and beauty and dreams and stuff.” Terry Pratchett Moving Pictures (1990) Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwhile careers in the streetcleansing, fruit-picking and subway-guitar-playing industries have been founded on a lack of understanding of this simple fact. Terry Pratchett Moving Pictures (1990) Of all the forces in the universe, the hardest to overcome is the force of habit. Gravity is easy-peasy by comparison. Terry Pratchett Johnny and the Dead (1993) Ignorance is very important! It is an absolutely essential step in the learning process! Terry Pratchett Johnny and the Dead (1993) No one was avoiding him, it was just that an apparent random Brownian motion was gently moving everyone away. Terry Pratchett Reaper Man (2002) Analysis of variates y1 to y5 is not statistics; analysis of plant height in centimetres, root weight in grams, etc., may be. D. A. Preece In discussion of C. Chatfield, ‘The initial examination of data’, J. R. S. S. A. 148:234 (1985) Things are not as bad as they seem. They are worse. Bill Press A certain impression I had of mathematicians was. . . that they spent immoderate amounts of time declaring each other’s work trivial. Richard Preston New Yorker (1992) Managers at the Public Records Office in Kew have devised a clever money-saving idea: they are using prisoners in British jails to input on to computer the information from the 1901 census. The prisoners’ work has been checked, however, and they have been found to be rewriting history. All references to prison wardens in 1901 have been changed to “bastards”. Officials are now using cheap labour in India to correct the errors. Private Eye 6–Apr–2001 . . . they say that Ptolemy once asked him [Euclid] whether there was in geometry no shorter way than that of the elements and he replied, ‘There is no royal road to geometry’. Proclus Prol. II, 39 Where there is number there is beauty. Proclus Man is the measure of all things, of things that are, that they are, of things that are not, that they are not. Protagoras in Diogenes Laertius ‘Vitae Philosophicus’ IX, 5

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The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes. Marcel Proust We don’t receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us. Marcel Proust If the human mind was simple enough to understand, we’d be too simple to understand it. Emerson Pugh Inspiration is needed in geometry, just as much as in poetry. Aleksandr Sergeyevich Pushkin Likhtenshtein You see, our experts describe you as an appallingly dull fellow, unimaginative, timid, lacking in initiative, spineless, easily dominated, no sense of humour, tedious company and irrepressibly drab and awful. And whereas in most professions these would be considerable drawbacks, in chartered accountancy they are a positive boon. Monty Python Episode Ten (1969) I stand by all the misstatements that I’ve made. J. Danforth Quayle 17–Aug–1989 If we don’t succeed we run the risk of failure. J. Danforth Quayle 23–Mar–1990 We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur. J. Danforth Quayle 22–Sept–1990 A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls. J. Danforth Quayle The future will be better tomorrow. J. Danforth Quayle Science without conscience is but the ruin of the soul. Franc ¸ ois Rabelais Gargantua’s letter to Pantagruel (1534) My mother made me a scientist without ever intending to. Every Jewish mother in Brooklyn would ask her child after school: ‘So? Did you learn anything today?’ But not my mother. She always asked me a different question. ‘ Izzy,’ she would say, ‘did you ask a good question today?’ Isidor Isaac Rabi (Nobel prize for physics 1944) The original title [for THE MADNESS OF KING GEORGE], THE MADNESS OF GEORGE III, was dropped because test audiences in America wondered why they hadn’t seen parts I and II. Radio Times 2–8 May 1988 In examinations those who do not wish to know ask questions of those who cannot tell. Sir Walter Alexander Raleigh Laughter from a Cloud (1923), ‘Some Thoughts on Examinations’ Lack of skill dictates economy of style. Joey Ramone (Jeff Hyman)

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Decisions are easier, you know, when there are no choices left. P. V. Narasimha Rao quoted in ‘the Observer’, 7–July–1991 Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining. Jeff Raskin A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history, with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. Mitch Ratcliffe pencil and paper: n. An archaic information storage and transmission device that works by depositing smears of graphite on bleached wood pulp. Eric S. Raymond & Guy L. Steele Jargon File 2.9.10 (1992) Facts are stupid things. Ronald Reagan Exercise is the beste intrument in learnyng. Robert Recorde The Whetstone of Witte (1557 Sex is the mathematics urge sublimated. M. C. Reed Programming languages should be designed not by piling feature on top of feature, but by removing the weaknesses and restrictions that make the additional features appear necessary. Jonathan Rees & William Clinger (editors) Revised3 Report on the Algorithmic Language Scheme, ACM Sigplan Notices 21(12):37–79 (1986) Human beings, for all their pretensions, have a remarkable propensity for lending themselves to classification somewhere within neatly labelled categories. Even the outrageous exceptions may be classified as outrageous exceptions! W. J. Reichmann Create the options. Shake the dice. All else is nonsense. Luke Reinhart The Dice Man (1971) The simplest schoolboy is now familiar with facts for which Archimedes would have sacrificed his life. Ernest Renan Souvenirs D’enfance et de Jeunesse (1887) A mathematician is a machine for turning coffee into theorems. ´d Re ´nyi Alfre (usually attributed to P. Erd˝ os) If I feel unhappy, I do mathematics to become happy. If I am happy, I do mathematics to keep happy. ´d Re ´nyi Alfre In one of my early J programs I accidentally deleted a line of code and realized I had wiped out 3 hours’ work. Henry Rich Message to jforum, 20–Apr–2003

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Another advantage of a mathematical statement is that it is so definite that it might be definitely wrong; and if it is found to be wrong, there is a plenteous choice of amendments ready in the mathematicians’ stock of formulae. Some verbal statements have not this merit; they are so vague that they could hardly be wrong, and are correspondingly useless. Lewis Fry Richardson ‘Mathematics of War and Foreign Politics’ In J. R. Newman (ed.) The World of Mathematics (1956) Luck is the residue of design. Branch Rickey Quoted in the New York Times, 17–Nov–1965 A language that doesn’t have everything is actually easier to program in than some that do. Dennis M. Ritchie UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity. Dennis M. Ritchie Partisanship is our great curse. We too readily assume that everything has two sides and that it is our duty to be on one or the other. James Harvey Robinson The Mind in the Making (1921) [Of her economics]: Being innocent of mathematics, I had to think. Joan Robinson I didn’t think; I experimented. Wilhelm Roentgen Theory is often just practice with the hard bits left out. J. M. Robson in ‘The Library’ (1985) VI.7 You know everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects. Will Rogers in the ‘New York Times’, 31–Aug–1924 It isn’t what we don’t know that gives us trouble, it’s what we know that ain’t so. Will Rogers Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there. Will Rogers Nothing you can’t spell will ever work. Will Rogers Les gens bien portants sont des malades qui s’ignorent. (Men who feel well are sick men neglecting themselves.) Jules Romains Knock, ou le Triomphe de la M´edecine (1923) Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don’t need to be done. Andy Rooney I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird, and not enough the bad luck of the early worm. Franklin D. Roosevelt

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The best material model of a cat is another, or preferably the same, cat. A. Rosenblueth & Norbert Wiener Philosophy of Science (1945) In the fall of 1972 President Nixon announced that the rate of increase of inflation was decreasing. This was the first time a sitting president used the third derivative to advance his case for reelection. Hugo Rossi Notices of the American Mathematical Society (1996) 43(10) We often hear that mathematics consists mainly in “proving theorems”. Is a writer’s job mainly that of “writing sentences”? A mathematician’s work is mostly a tangle of guesswork, analogy, wishful thinking and frustration, and proof, far from being the core of discovery, is more often than not a way of making sure that our minds are not playing tricks. Gian-Carlo Rota Introduction to ‘The Mathematical Experience’ by P. J. Davis & R. Hersch (1983) Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example. Frano ¸ is de la Rouchefoucauld I hate books; they only teach us to talk about things we know nothing about. Jean-Jacques Rousseau ´ Emile (1762) It is only slightly facetious to say that digital information lasts forever—or five years, whichever comes first. Jeff Rothenberg ‘Ensuring the Longevity of Digital Documents’, Scientific American Jan 1995: 42–47 There was once a group of Biostatisticians and a group of Epidemiologists riding together on a train to joint meetings. All the Epidemiologists had tickets, but the Biostatisticians only had one ticket between them. Inquisitive by nature, the Epidemiologists asked the Biostatisticians how they were going to get away with such a small sample of tickets when the conductor came through. The Biostatisticians said, “Easy. We have methods for dealing with that.” Later, when the conductor came to punch tickets, all the Biostatisticians slipped quietly into the bathroom. When the conductor knocked on the door, the head Biostatistician slipped their one ticket under the door thoroughly fooling the layman conductor. After the joint meetings were over, the Biostatisticians and the Epidemiologists again found themselves on the same train. Always quick to catch on, the Epidemiologists had purchased one ticket between them. The Biostatisticians (always on the cutting edge) had purchased NO tickets for the trip home. Confused, the Epidemiologists asked the Biostatisticians “We understand how your methods worked when you had one ticket, but how can you possibly get away with no tickets?” “Easy,” replied the Biostatisticians smugly, “we have different methods for dealing with that situation.” Later, when the conductor was in the next car, all the Epidemiologists trotted off to the bathroom with their one ticket and all the Biostatisticians packed into the other bathroom. Shortly, the head Biostatistician crept over to where the Epidemiologists were hiding and knocked authoritatively on the door. As they had been instructed, the Epidemiologists slipped their one ticket under the door. The head Biostatistician took the Epidemiologists’ one and only ticket and returned triumphantly to the Biostatistician group. Of course, the Epidemiologists were subsequently discovered and publicly humiliated. MORAL OF THE STORY. Do not use statistical methods unless you understand the principles behind them! Patrick Royston (original author unknown) allstat, 7–Feb–1996 ‘In fact,’ Sam the Gonoph says, ‘I long ago came to the conclusion that all life is six to five against.’ Damon Runyon Collier’s, 8–Sept–1934, ‘A Nice Price’

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The race may not always be to the swift nor the victory to the strong, but that’s how you bet. Damon Runyon The lust for academic respectability is the major cause of intellectual whoredom. Rousas John Rushdoony Better the rudest work that tells a story or records a fact, than the richest without meaning. John Ruskin Seven Lamps of Architecture (1849) ‘The Lamp of Memory’ sect. 7 Not only is there but one way of doing things rightly, but there is only one way of seeing them, and that is, seeing the whole of them. John Ruskin The Two Paths (1859) Lecture 2 Geometry has been, throughout, of supreme importance in the history of knowledge. Bertrand Arthur William Russell Foundations of Geometry (1897) Mathematics, rightly viewed, possesses not only truth, but supreme beauty—a beauty cold and austere, like that of sculpture, without appeal to any part of our weaker nature, without the gorgeous trappings of paintings or music, yet sublimely pure and capable of a stern perfection such as only the greatest art can show. Bertrand Arthur William Russell Philosophical Essays (1910): ‘The Study of Mathematics’ Mathematics may be defined as the subject in which we never know what we are talking about, nor whether what we are saying is true. Bertrand Arthur William Russell Mysticism and Logic (1918) The point of philosophy is to start with something so simple as not to seem worth stating, and to end with something so paradoxical that no one will believe it. Bertrand Arthur William Russell The Philosophy of Logical Atomism (1918) The method of “postulating” what we want has many advantages; they are the same as the advantages of theft over honest toil. Bertrand Arthur William Russell Introduction to Mathematical Philosophy (1919) The desire to understand the world and the desire to reform it are the two great engines of progress. Bertrand Arthur William Russell Marriage and Morals (1919) William James used to preach the ‘will to believe’. For my part, I should wish to preach the ‘will to doubt’. What is wanted is not the will to believe but the will to find out, which is the exact opposite. Bertrand Arthur William Russell Sceptical Essays (1928) I like also the men who study the Great Pyramid, with a view to deciphering its mystical lore. Many great books have been written on this subject, some of which have been presented to me by their authors. It is a singular fact that the Great Pyramid always predicts the history of the world accurately up to the date of publication of the book in question, but after that date it becomes less reliable. Bertrand Arthur William Russell An Outline of Intellectual Rubbish (1943)

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Aristotle maintained that women have fewer teeth than men; although he was twice married, it never occurred to him to verify this statement by examining his wives’ mouths. Bertrand Arthur William Russell The Impact of Science on Society (1952) There is a special department of Hell for students of probability. In this department there are many typewriters and many monkeys. Every time that a monkey walks on a typewriter, it types by chance one of Shakespeare’s sonnets. Bertrand Arthur William Russell Nightmares of Eminent Persons (1954) A good notation has a subtlety and suggestiveness which at times make it almost seem like a live teacher. Bertrand Arthur William Russell Although this may seem a paradox, all exact science is dominated by the idea of approximation. Bertrand Arthur William Russell Science is what you know, philosophy is what you dont know. Bertrand Arthur William Russell One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important. Bertrand Arthur William Russell There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge. Bertrand Arthur William Russell I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong. Bertrand Arthur William Russell Many people would rather die than think; in fact, most do. Bertrand Arthur William Russell There are two motives for reading a book; one, that you enjoy it; the other, that you can boast about it. Bertrand Arthur William Russell The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts. Bertrand Arthur William Russell What men really want is not knowledge but certainty. Bertrand Arthur William Russell Almost everything that distinguishes the modern world from earlier centuries is attibutable to science, which achieved its most spectacular triumphs in the seventeenth century. Bertrand Arthur William Russell Men are born ignorant, not stupid; they are made stupid by education. Bertrand Arthur William Russell There must be an ideal world, a sort of mathematician’s paradise where everything happens as it does in textbooks. Bertrand Arthur William Russell The examination system, and the fact that instruction is treated mainly as training for a livelihood, leads the young to regard knowledge from a purely utilitarian point of view, as the road to money, not as the gateway to wisdom. Bertrand Arthur William Russell

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The greatest challenge to any thinker is stating the problem in a way that will allow a solution. Bertrand Arthur William Russell Language serves not only to express thought but to make possible thoughts which could not exist without it. Bertrand Arthur William Russell If your experiment needs statistics, you ought to have done a better experiment. Ernest Rutherford We dont have the money, so we have to think. Ernest Rutherford All science is either physics or stamp collecting. Ernest Rutherford You should never bet against anything in science at odds of more than about 1012 to 1. Ernest Rutherford Don’t let me catch anyone talking about the Universe in my department. Ernest Rutherford Never say ‘I tried it once and it did not work’. Ernest Rutherford The only possible interpretation of any research whatever in the ‘social sciences’ is: some do, some don’t. Ernest Rutherford ‘Qualitative’ is poor quantitative Ernest Rutherford The astonishing thing is that the average person is at greater risk of being killed by an asteroid than dying in a plane crash. Professor Sir Martin Ryle, Astronomer Royal the Observer, Quotes of the Year, 31–Dec–2000 You say that my way of thinking cannot be tolerated? What of it? The man who alters his way of thinking to suit others is a fool. My way of thinking is the result of my reflections. It is part of my inner being, the way I am made. I do not contradict them, and would not even if I wished to. For my system, which you disapprove of, is also my greatest comfort in life, the source of all my happiness—it means more to me than my life itself. Marquis Donatien Alphonse de Sade Remember to never split an infinitive. The passive voice should never be used. Do not put statements in the negative form. Verbs have to agree with their subjects. Proofread carefully to see if you words out. If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing. A writer must not shift your point of view. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction. (Remember, too, a preposition is a terrible word to end a sentence with.) Don’t overuse exclamation marks!! Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents. Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky. Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing. Always pick on the correct idiom. The adverb always follows the verb. Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague; seek viable alternatives. William Safire The well-meaning contention that all ideas have equal merit seems to me little different from the disastrous contention that no ideas have any merit. Carl Edward Sagan Broca’s Brain (1978)

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Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. Carl Edward Sagan The Dragons of Eden (1977) In science it often happens that scientists say, “You know that’s a really good argument; my position is mistaken,” and then they would actually change their minds and you never hear that old view from them again. They really do it. It doesn’t happen as often as it should, because scientists are human and change is sometimes painful. But it happens every day. I cannot recall the last time something like that happened in politics or religion. Carl Edward Sagan CSICOP keynote address (1987) In order to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. Carl Edward Sagan Cosmos Extraordinary claims demand extraordinary evidence. Carl Edward Sagan We live in a society exquisitely dependent on science and technology, in which hardly anyone knows anything about science and technology. Carl Edward Sagan The essence of science is that it is self-correcting. Carl Edward Sagan But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown. Carl Edward Sagan It means nothing to be open to a proposition we don’t understand. Carl Edward Sagan Skeptical scrutiny is the means, in both science and religion, by which deep insights can be winnowed from deep nonsense. Carl Edward Sagan The machine does not isolate man from the great problems of nature but plunges him more deeply into them. ´ry Antoine de Saint-Exupe Wind, Sand, and Stars (1939) A designer knows when he has achieved perfection not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away. ´ry Antoine de Saint-Exupe A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation. Saki (Hector Hugh Munro) The Square Egg (1924): ‘Clovis on the Alleged Romance of Business’ I don’t think it would have all got me down quite so much if just once in a while—just once in a while— there was at least some polite little perfunctory implication that knowledge should lead to wisdom, and that if it doesn’t, it’s just a disgusting waste of time. J. D. Salinger Franny & Zooey (1961) Show me a man with both feet on the ground, and I’ll show you a man who can’t get his pants on. Katie Saltonovitz

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Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it. George Santayana The Life of Reason (1905), Vol. I, Ch. 12 For an idea ever to be fashionable is ominous, since it must afterwards always be old-fashioned. George Santayana Winds of Doctrine (1913): Modernism and Christianity There are books in which the footnotes, or the comments scrawled by some reader’s hand in the margin, are more interesting than the text. The world is one of those books. George Santayana I confused things with their names: that is belief. Jean-Paul Sartre Words (1964) pt. 2 The only place where success comes before work is in a dictionary. Vidal Sassoon (quoting one of his teachers) He that leaveth nothing to chance will do few things ill, but he will do very few things. George Savile (Lord Halifax) 17th Century The skill of writing is to create a context in which other people can think. Edwin Schlossberg ‘For My Father’, in John Brockman (ed.) About Bateson: essays on Gregory Bateson (1977) Get a bunch of those 3–D glasses and wear them at the same time. Use enough to get it up to a good, say, 10– or 12–D. Rod Schmidt I wrote my own connection software in LISP. Got a phone bill for $1,000. My computer kept calling itself. Rod Schmidt Interpretation is a free walk on firm ground. Artur Schnabel My Life and Music (1961) II.10 There is still much good music to be written in C major. Arnold Schoenberg In J. Machlis, ‘Introduction to Contemporary Music’ (1961) All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident. Arthur Schopenhauer Everyone takes the limits of his own vision for the limits of the world. Arthur Schopenhauer Thus, the task is, not so much to see what no one has yet seen, but to think what nobody has yet thought, about that which everybody sees. ¨ dinger Erwin Schro To describe the universe in terms of our present knowledge is to say almost nothing about everything. ¨cking Engelbert Schu

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linus: No problem is so big and complicated that it can’t be run away from. Charles M. Schultz Peanuts Try not to have a good time. This is supposed to be educational. Charles M. Schultz Small is Beautiful. E. F. Schumacher Book Title (1973) Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius— and a lot of courage—to move in the opposite direction. E. F. Schumacher obituary, ‘the Guardian’, 6–Sept–1977 To compose music, all you have to do is remember a tune that nobody else has thought of. Robert Schumann As we acquire more knowledge, things do not become more comprehensible, but more mysterious. Albert Schweitzer You don’t fuck around with the infinite. Martin Scorsese & Mardik Martin Mean Streets (1973) Comment is free but facts are sacred. Ronnie Scott The secret of staying young is mixing with older people. C. P. Scott in the ‘Manchester Guardian’, 5–May–1921 They couldn’t hit an elephant at this dist— General John Sedgewick last words (1864) Do you know the difference between education and experience? Education is when you read the fine print. Experience is what you get if you don’t. Pete Seeger For every person wishing to teach there are thirty not wanting to be taught. W. C. Sellar & R. J. Yeatman And Now All This (1932) It is better, of course, to know useless things than to know nothing. Seneca Epistles, 88.45 Shun no toil to make yourself remarkable by some talent or other; yet do not devote yourself to one branch exclusively. Strive to get clear notions about all. Give up no science entirely; for science is but one. Seneca Insisting on perfect safety is for people who don’t have the balls to live in the real world. Mary Shafer The Normal . . . is the Ordinary made beautiful; it is also the Average made lethal. Peter Shaffer Equus (1983 ed.) I.xix

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Thou seest I have more flesh than another man, and therefore more frailty. William Shakespeare Henry IV part 1 (1597) act III, scene iii Is it not strange that desire should so many years outlive performance? William Shakespeare Henry IV part 2 (1597) act II, scene iv There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy. William Shakespeare Hamlet (1601) act I, scene v Brevity is the soul of wit. William Shakespeare Hamlet (1601) act II, scene ii Though this be madness, yet there is method in it. William Shakespeare Hamlet (1601) act II, scene ii Striving to better, oft we mar what’s well. William Shakespeare King Lear (1605) act I, scene iv If you can look into the seeds of time, And say which grain will grow, and which will not, Speak then to me. William Shakespeare Macbeth (1606) act I, scene iii I cannot do’t without compters. William Shakespeare The Winters Tale (1610–11) act IV, scene iii All great truths begin as blasphemies. George Bernard Shaw Annajanska (1917) You see things; and you say “Why?” But I dream things that never were; and I say “Why not?” George Bernard Shaw Back to Methuselah (1921) part 1, act 1 And nobody can get far without at least an acquaintance with the mathematics of probability, not to the extent of making its calculations and filling examination papers with typical equations, but enough to know when they can be trusted, and when they are cooked. For when their imaginary numbers correspond to exact quantities of hard coins unalterably stamped with heads and tails, they are safe within certain limits; for here we have solid certainty and two simple possibilities that can be made prectical certainties by an hour’s trial (say one constant and one variable that does not really vary); but when the calculation is one of no constant and several very capricious variables, guesswork, personal bias, and pecuniary interests, come in so strongly that those who began by ignorantly imagining that statistics cannot lie end by imagining, equally ignorantly, that they never do anything else. George Bernard Shaw ‘The Vice of Gambling and the Virtue of Insurance’, Everybody’s Political What’s What (1944). Reprinted in J. R. Newman (ed.) The World of Mathematics (1956)

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The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man. George Bernard Shaw Maxims for Revolutionists: Reason (1903) The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it. George Bernard Shaw A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw To me the sole hope of human salvation lies in teaching. George Bernard Shaw Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything. George Bernard Shaw Common sense is instinct. Enough of it is genius. George Bernard Shaw I am a Bayesian I’m Rabelaisian Don’t know what I want but I know how to get it Integrate p Numerically. . . John Ewart Hardern Shaw (librettist for ‘The Savage Axioms’, Valencia, 1988) As a statistician, I want to use mathematics to help deal with practical uncertainty. The natural mathematical way to handle uncertainty is via probability. About the simplest practical probability statement I can think of is “The probability that a fair coin, tossed at random, will come down ‘heads’ is 1/2”. Now try to define “fair coin”, “at random” and “probability 1/2” without using subjective probability or circular definitions. Summary: if a practical probability statement is not subjective, then it must be tautologous, ill-defined, or useless. Of course, for balance, some of the time I teach subjective methods, and some of the time I teach useless methods :-). John Ewart Hardern Shaw sci.math, 13–Aug–1993 The widest misapprehension seems to be that ‘Statistics’ is a handy recipe book for producing a choice of bland TV dinners out of an undifferentiated pile of offal. John Ewart Hardern Shaw sci.stat.edu, 18–Oct–1993 . . . so you keep on tossing until eventually it gives ‘Head’. Er. . . That’s not quite what I meant. . . John Ewart Hardern Shaw (Lecturing on the negative binomial distribution, 1993) Clearly “homoscedasticity” is the assumption that cannot spell its name. John Ewart Hardern Shaw sci.stat.edu, 13–Mar–2003 A great truth is a truth whose opposite isn’t also a great truth. Cos, tan, sin—seems like the perfect Greek island holiday. f u cn rd ths, thn u mst hv jst hd yr br-mtzvh. Heard about the sheep who jumped into a Klein bottle?—turned into a haggis. Sarah (20 months) on first seeing juggling: ‘Balls skipping in the sky’. 146

Statisticians do it with two standard deviations and 95% confidence. “There is no such thing as society”. Well, not now there bloody isn’t. “Would you like something off the trolley?” asked the waiter, offering me a beefburger. yacc—the piece of code that understandeth all parsing. 3 ((4&({*.(=+/))++/=3:)@([:,/0&,^:(i.3)@|:"2^:2))&.>@]^:(i.@[) John Baez did some interesting reflections on the sporadic finite >groups, it is amusing that there are 26 of these and string theory >favours 26 dimensions of spacetime. Also, there are 26 monsters in rogue. Matthew P Wiener sci.math, 20–May–1996 Neither the artist nor the mathematician may be able to tell you what constitutes the difference between a significant piece of work and an inflated trifle; but if he is not able to recognise this in his own heart, he is no artist and no mathematician. Norbert Wiener Ex-Prodigy (1953) A professor is one who can speak on any subject—for precisely fifty minutes. Norbert Wiener What most experimenters take for granted before they begin their experiments is infinitely more interesting than any results to which their experiments lead. Norbert Wiener

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Some problems are just too complicated for rational logical solutions. They admit of insights, not answers. Jerome Bert Wiesner in ‘New Yorker’ 26–Jan–1963 An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy of being called an idea at all. Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde The Critic as Artist (1891) Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught. Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde The Critic as Artist (1891) Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes. Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde Lady Windermere’s Fan (1891), III Truth is never pure, and rarely simple. Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde The Importance of Being Earnest (1895), I On an occasion of this kind it becomes more than a moral duty to speak one’s mind. It becomes a pleasure. Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde The Importance of Being Earnest (1895), II Oh! it is absurd to have a hard-and-fast rule about what one should read and what one shouldn’t. More than half of modern culture depends upon what one shouldn’t read. Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde The Importance of Being Earnest (1895) Religions die when they are proved to be true. Science is the record of dead religions. Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde Phrases and Philosophies for the Use of the Young (1894) Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason. Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde I am not young enough to know everything. Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane. Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde Human slavery is wrong, insecure, and demoralizing. On mechanical slavery, on the slavery of the machine, the future of the world depends. Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative. Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde To expect the unexpected shows a thoroughly modern intellect. Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information. Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde Only the shallow know themselves. Oscar Fingal O’Flahertie Wills Wilde

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Hindsight is always twenty-twenty. Billy Wilder There is nothing mysterious, as some have tried to maintain, about the applicability of mathematics. What we get by abstraction from something can be returned. R. L. Wilder Introduction to the Foundations of Mathematics (1952) As soon as we started programming, we found to our surprise that it wasn’t as easy to get programs right as we had thought. Debugging had to be discovered. I can remember the exact instant when I realized that a large part of my life from then on was going to be spent in finding mistakes in my own programs. Maurice Wilkes (1949) Pythagoras (helping himself to porridge): Hmm. I see the sum of the squares on AB and BC = the square on AC. Wife: Dear dear. Pythagoras: I’m not surprised, not surprised at all. I’ve been saying that would come for years. Wife: Yes dear. Pythagoras: Now they’ll hav to do something about it. More tea please. That’s another thing—the day is coming when they’re going to have to face the fact that a strate line if infinitely protracted goes on for ever. Wife: Quite so. Pythagoras: Now take angle a, for xsample. (His wife suddenly loses control and thro the porridge at him. Enter Euclid: another weed and the 2 bores go off together). Geoffrey Willans & Ronald Searle Down with Skool! (1953) But if maths is a langwage i hav only one coment. It is ∞ x X b 0

x!

=

∞ X e−M .M x .etx 0

x!

= e−M

∞ X (M et )x 0

x!

I think that setles the mater. Geoffrey Willans & Ronald Searle How to be Topp Furious activity is no substitute for understanding. H. H. Williams Reality: what a concept! Robin Williams There are hazards in anything one does, but there are greater hazards in doing nothing. Shirley Williams the Observer, Sayings of the Week, 16–June–1974 A vacuum is a hell of a lot better than some of the stuff that nature replaces it with. Tenessee Williams The mistake you make is in trying to figure it out. Tenessee Williams Since ’tis Nature’s law to change, Constancy alone is strange. John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester A dialogue between Strephon and Daphne

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Basic research is when you don’t know what you are doing. Charles G. Wilson Nature 264 (1976): 100 Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure. Earl Wilson The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down. Flip Wilson Sir, I have just received prima facie evidence that Sir Ron Dearing is out of touch with the world of higher education. Interviewed this morning on the Today programme at 7.40am, in the long vacation, he optimistically uttered the words: “May I say this to the students that are listening. . . ”. Yours faithfully, J. L. Wilson Letter to ‘the Times’, 24–July–1997 Only the madman is absolutely sure. Robert Anton Wilson I use not only all the brains I have, but all I can borrow. Woodrow Wilson Was sich u ¨berhaupt sagen l¨ asst, l¨ asst sich klar sagen; und wovon man nicht sprechen kann, dar¨ uber muss man schweigen. (Everything that can be said can be said clearly; and whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent.) Ludwig Wittgenstein Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus (1922), preface Philosophy is not a theory but an activity. Ludwig Wittgenstein Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus (1922), 4.112 Die Grenzen meiner Sprache bedeuten die Grenzen meiner Welt. (The limits of my language means the limits of my world.) Ludwig Wittgenstein Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus (1922) Die Welt ist alles, was der Fall ist. (The world is everything that is the case.) Ludwig Wittgenstein Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus (1922) Handeln von Netz, nicht von dem, was das Netz beschreibt. (Deal with the network, not with what the network represents). Ludwig Wittgenstein Phil. Trans. Royal Society A 295:554 If there were a verb meaning ‘to believe falsely’, it would not have any significant first person, present indicative. Ludwig Wittgenstein Philosophical Investigations (1953), Part 2, sect. 10 I can’t do with any more education. I was full up years ago. P. G. Wodehouse The Code of the Woosters (1938) ch. 1

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There is no limit to stupidity. Space itself is said to be bounded by its own curvature, but stupidity continues beyond infinity. Gene Wolfe The Citadel of the Autarch (1982) I want to know the truth, however perverted that may sound. Stephen Wolfram When you believe in things that you don’t understand, you will suffer. Superstition ain’t the way. Stevie Wonder Superstition (1972) The person who knows how will always have a job. But the person who knows why will be the boss. Carl Wood Greetings my friend. We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember my friend, future events such as these, will affect you in the future. You are interested in the unknown, the mysterious, the unexplainable. That is why you are here. Edward D. Wood Jnr Plan 9 From Outer Space (film, 1956) Literature is strewn with the wreckage of those who have minded beyond reason the opinion of others. Virginia Woolf A Room of One’s Own (1929) Nothing has really happened until it has been recorded. Virginia Woolf Space travel is utter bilge. Richard van der Reit Woolley, Astronomer Royal (1956) Lost in a gloom of uninspired research. William Wordsworth The Excursion (1814), Book 4 Never trust a computer you can’t throw out a window. Steve Wozniak The inappropriate cannot be beautiful. Frank Lloyd Wright The Future of Architecture (1953) I believe in God, only I spell it Nature. Frank Lloyd Wright Factorials were someone’s attempt to make math look interesting. Steve Wright I heard that in relativity theory space and time are the same thing. Einstein discovered this when he kept showing up three miles late for meetings. Steve Wright When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m six I’ll be ninety. Steve Wright You can’t have everything. . . where would you put it? Steve Wright

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I wrote a few childrens books. . . not on purpose. Steve Wright Im writing a book. Ive got the page numbers done. Steve Wright I confess that in 1901, I said to my brother Orville that man would not fly for fifty years. Wilbur Wright (1908) God forceth not a man to believe that which he cannot understand. John Wycliffe 14th Century What egotism, what stupid vanity, to suppose that a thing could not happen because you could not conceive it! Philip Wylie & Edwin Balmer When Worlds Collide (1932) I refuse to accept a bad theory simply on the grounds that there is not a better. John Wyndham The Midwich Cuckoos (1957) If a teacher does not teach the pupils to overtake him there can be no advance. John Wyndham Chocky (1968) When people live their lives by their beliefs objective reality is almost irrelevant. John Wyndham Chocky (1968) I’m sorry to say that the subject I most disliked was mathematics. I have thought about it. I think the reason was that mathematics leaves no room for argument. If you made a mistake, that was all there was to it. Malcolm X Autobiography (1965): Mascot fox mulder: I’m not going to give up. I can’t give up. Not as long as the truth is out there. The X-Files The Erlenmeyer Flask (1994) And as for certain truth, no man has seen it, nor will there ever be a man who knows about the gods and about all the things I mention. For if he succeeds to the full in saying what is completely true, he himself is unaware of it; and Opinion is fixed by fate upon all things. Xenophanes of Colophon The primary purpose of the DATA statement is to give names to constants; instead of referring to pi as 3.141592653589793 at every appearance, the variable PI can be given that value with a DATA statement and used instead of the longer form of the constant. This also simplifies modifying the program, should the value of pi change. FORTRAN Manual for Xerox Computers If you try to understand fibre bundles by reading mathematics, if you are a physicist, you would probably not succeed, because modern mathematics is extremely difficult to read, and I believe there exist only two kinds of mathematics books; one which you cannot read beyond the first page and one which you cannot read beyond the first sentence. C. N. Yang Lectures on Frontiers in Physics (1980)

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karma police arrest this man he talks in maths he buzzesLikeAfridge hes like a detuned radio. Thom Yorke Karma Police (song 1997) THE NORMAL LAW OF ERROR STANDS OUT IN THE EXPERIENCE OF MANKIND AS ONE OF THE BROADEST GENERALIZATIONS OF NATURAL PHILOSOPHY  IT SERVES AS THE GUIDING INSTRUMENT IN RESEARCHES IN THE PHYSICAL AND SOCIAL SCIENCES AND IN MEDICINE AGRICULTURE AND ENGINEERING  IT IS AN INDISPENSABLE TOOL FOR THE ANALYSIS AND THE INTERPRETATION OF THE BASIC DATA OBTAINED BY OBSERVATION AND EXPERIMENT

W. J. Youden If two men on the same job agree all the time, then one is useless. If they disagree all the time, then both are useless. Darryl Zanuck the Observer, Sayings of the Week, 23–Oct–1949 Information is not knowledge. Knowledge is not wisdom. Wisdom is not truth. Truth is not beauty. Beauty is not love. Love is not music. Music is the best! Frank Zappa Joe’s Garage(1979): Packard Goose Without deviation, progress is not possible. Frank Zappa Art is making something out of nothing and selling it. Frank Zappa Technical skill is mastery of complexity while creativity is mastery of simplicity. E. Christopher Zeeman Catastrophe Theory, Selected Papers 1972–1977 Hello. I know the divorce rate among unmarried Catholic Alaskan females!! Zippy the pinhead Nature is what it is Regardless of what you would like. Zoogz Rift ‘A Equals A’ (song 1988)

References [1] J. Bibby. Quotes, Damned Quotes, And. . . . Demase Books, 33 Haugh Shaw Road, Halifax HX1 3AH, UK, 1983. [2] C. C. Gaither and A. E. Cavazos-Gaither. Statistically Speaking: A Dictionary of Quotations. Institute of Physics, Bristol, 1996. [3] A. L. MacKay. The Harvest of a Quiet Eye. Institute of Physics, London, 1977. [4] A. L. MacKay. A Dictionary of Scientific Quotations. Institute of Physics, Bristol, 1991. [5] H. Sahai. Some quotable quotations usable in a probability and statistics class. School Science and Mathematics, 79:177–222, 1979.

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