Rules for conversational rituals in Japanese

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Preface This is a book about Japanese conversation. It may be used in at least three ways: (I) first, as a source of general information about conversing in Japanese, (2) second, as a reference book for a class in Japanese conversation, and (3) as a manual for a course which makes use of the Japanese films listed m 0.6 of the Introduction, which are commercially available in either laserdisc or videotape format. This work is written by two different authors. Aoki wanted to write a conversational textbook and thought of the title Advanced Japanese Conversation. Okamoto wanted to make it more scholarly and decided on the title Rules fo r Conversational Rituals in Japanese: Greetings, Formulaic Expressions, and Indirect Expressions. Originally chapters 3, 4, 5, and 6 were written by Okamoto, and chapters 1,2, 7, 8, and 9 were written by Aoki. The introduction was first written by Aoki, then rewritten by Okamoto, and recast by Aoki, who alone should be blamed for the final state the introduction is in. Okamoto changed some parts of and added some material to chapters 1 , 2, and 7; Aoki changed none of Okamoto’s chapters. We apologize for the resultant shifts in style. We received generous help from many people. Foremost among them is Mr. Yoji Yamada, one of the most liked film directors in Japan. We would like to express our sincere thanks to Director Yamada for kindly giving Aoki permission to use the scripts, for which he holds copyright. We are also very grateful to Mr. Kiyotsugu Kurusu, Head of the Internaional Division of the Shochiku Company

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for enabling us to obtain the laserdiscs and the studio scripts. Next we wish to express our sincere thanks to Bill McCullough and Frank Motofuji, who read a draft of the book and offered many invaluable comments; however, needless to say the shortcomings that remain are ours alone. We would also like to express our thanks to the Center for Japanese Studies, University of California, Berkeley for providing for editing by Eleanor Sanders; and we wish to thank the Center’s able Administrative Assistant Eugenie Bruck for expediting matters. If you like the book, let us know, if you do not, write a detailed critique and place it in your circular file; this way readers can save the postage and we can save the time. April, 1988 H.A., S.O. (Written by H.A.)

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Table of Contents PREFACE 0

INTRODUCTION 0 . 1 Two modes of communication................................................. 3 0. 2 Differences between two m o d es...............................................6 0. 3 Similarities between English and Japanese m odes.............. 7 0 . 4 Differences.................................................................................... 9 0. 5 Politeness and respect ............................................................. . 0. 6 E xam ples..................................................................................... .

1

ADDRESS TERM S A N D REFERENCE TERM S What to call someone, or Mr. Suzuki is not Suzuki-san.. 1 . 2 Within a fa m ily ......................................................................... 15 1 . 3 With an outsider........................................................................ 17 1.1

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4 2 5 6 6 7 8 2 2 2 2 2 156 3 3 3

GREETINGS 2 . 1 When to and when not to g r e e t......................................... 2 . 2 Non-verbal greetings............................................................. 2. 3 Differences between American and Japanese greetings* 2. 4 Greetings in the morning.................................................... 1. Within a family 24 / 2. With an outsider 25 2. 5 Meeting someone during the d a y ...................................... 2. 6 Meeting someone in the evening ...................................... 2. 7 Last greetings of the day ................................................... 2. 8 Beginning of a m e a l ............................................................. 2. 9 End of a m e a l......................................................................... 2.10 Leaving and coming home, or sayonara is not agoodbye” ............................................................................................. 2.11 Parting...................................................................................... 2.12 Visiting someone and receiving someone ........................

2.13 2.14

Congratulations......................................................................... .. Condolences................................................................................ .

3 MODES OF REQUEST 3 .1 Camouflage your requ est........................................................43 3. 2 Qualify your request: what the word c/zo如 ち ょ っ と can do is not little .................................................................... .. 3 . 3 Apologize for bothering: the use of がすみま せんか'， etc.................................................................................. .. 3 . 4 Give some orientation to your request: the use of chotto o-ukagai shimasu g a ち ょ っ と H 伺 い L ますが， etc. ........... 57 3 . 5 Don’t barge in: the use of なwoo あのう and soだ 职 そ れ か 、“ 58 3. 6 Don^ impose: the use of go-meiwaku de nakereba ® で な け れ ば ， etc........................................................................... 59 3. 7 Don^ be pushy: the use of o-tsuide no toki de kekkoo ぬ 似 知 m z お っ い で の 時 で 結 構 で す か ら ， etc. ....................... 62 3. 8 Don’t declare your request: the use of incomplete sentences......................................................................................64 3. 9 Express your need hesitantly and in a roundabout way."67 3.10 Reinforce your request with satellite remarks ..................69 3.11 Be patient: don’t get into the business immediately ........ 73

4 MODES OF REFUSING A REQUEST 4 .1 4 .2 4 .3 4. 4 4. 5

Be apologetic.............................................................................. 75 Be vague: don’t hum iliate........................................................79 Don’t be blunt: give reason s.................................................... 81 Hedge your refusal with the word 如 ち ょ っ ど ........... 82 Give a warning signal for the bad news: the use of sore 职 そ れ 为 ぐ a n d びw o o あ の つ ........................................................83 4. 6 Sbo wee そうて•す ね え ，etc. as a buffer for the refusal."85 4. 7 Be positive: give encouragement .......................................... 87 4 . 8 Try not to expose the uncomfortable part mercilessly: the use of incomplete sentences............................................. 9° 4. 9 Try to be triendly with satellite remarks .......................... 91

5 MODES OF OFFER AND INVITATION 5 .1 5. 2

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A useful word ゐ〇2〇 ど う 七 .................................................... 93 Note the difference between 似