Religion, Life, and Death: Untangling Fears and the Search for Coherence [1 ed.] 9781003353249

Table of contents :
Cover
Half Title
Series Page
Title Page
Copyright Page
Table of Contents
Acknowledgments
1 Introduction
The Current Study
Significance of the Study
Organization of the Book
2 The Link Between Religion, Health, and Death Anxiety
Overview
Types of Religiosity and How They Affect Health
Mechanisms through which Religiosity and Spirituality Influence Health
Promotion of Health Behaviors and Lifestyles
Denominational Differences
Social Integration and Social Support
Facilitation of Meaning and a Sense of Coherence
Influence on Affective States and Psychological Processes
Facilitation of Coping Skills in Times of Crises
Intrinsic Religiosity as a Mediator
Religion's Paradoxical Health Outcomes
Religion and Death Anxiety
Mixed Findings in the Religion–Death Anxiety Relationship
Mechanisms in the Religiosity-Death Anxiety Relationships
Sense of Control as a Mediating Factor
How Different Types of Religiosity Shape Death Anxiety
Belief in the Afterlife and Death Anxiety
Buffering Theory
Death Apprehension Theory
Terror Management Theory
Religion and the Illusion of Control
3 Anticipating Death
Methods
Data Source and Method
Sampling Strategy and Sample Characteristics
Summary Statistics of the Sample
Results and Findings
What Is Death?
Death Fears
The Moment of Death
Last Rites: The Imaginary Funeral
4 Religion and Tragic Deaths: Suicide and Homicide
Suicide
Homicide—How 9/11 Shook People's Faith
Trust God. Don't Lose Faith
Lesson Learned: Deepen One's Faith in the Face of Tragedy
Losing My Religion: Questioning Faith
9/11 as Having No Effect on One's Faith
God as Working in Mysterious Ways
God as Testing Humans
Don't Blame God or Religion
The Dark Side of Religion
Religious Extremism
Religious Used for Both Evil and Good
Religion's Divisiveness
Religious Personification of Evil
The Varied Nature of Religion
5 Religion and Tragic Deaths: The Death of Young Children
Broaching Death to a Child: Imparting the Idea of a Heaven or Afterlife
A Toned-Down Version of Heaven
Heavenless
Explaining Death and Dying through a Religious Lens as a Possibility
6 Reflections on Life, Death, and Religion
Brutally Honest Obituaries
The Meaning of Life
What Makes You Happy?
7 How College Students Use Religion to Comprehend Death
Religion as an Agent of Socialization: Delineating Appropriate Death Behaviors
Religion as a Resource for Understanding the Meaning of Death and Life
Somewhere between Heaven and Hell: A Debate on Life After Death
Religion as a Source of Comfort
Religion as a Source of Empowerment through the Illusion of Control
The Religiously Conflicted
Resistance to Religion
When Religion Does Not Have the Answers
8 Religious Interpretative Frameworks in the Face of Death
Making Sense of Death: Religious Interpretative Frameworks
Religion as a Resiliency Resource
Index

Citation preview

Religion, Life, and Death

Based on a content analysis of writing assignments from a class on death and dying, this book focuses on the manner in which college students use religion to make sense of death and the dying process. Drawing on research spanning five years, the author considers the attitudes, concerns, and beliefs about death, exploring students’ perspectives on the place of religion in end-of-life issues. With attention to questions related to death anxiety, suicide, mass homicide, and the death of young children, the author examines the ways in which students draw on religion to make sense of death, religion’s function as both a source of comfort and empowerment and a source of distress, as well as the perceptions of those who resist religion. As such, Religion, Life, and Death will appeal to social scientists with interests in the sociology of young adults, and the sociology and psychology of religion, death, and dying. Pamela Leong is a professor of sociology at Salem State University in Salem, Massachusetts, USA. Leong is a sociology generalist who is interested in a wide array of sociology sub- disciplines and topics, as well as topics that venture into other academic disciplines. Her most recent research publications include two monographs: Rating Professors Online: How Culture, Technology, and Consumer Expectations Shape Modern Student Evaluations (2020) ­ and Religion, Flesh, and Blood: The Convergence of HIV/AIDS, Black Sexual Expression, and Therapeutic Religion (2015). ­

Routledge Advances in Sociology

This series presents cutting- edge developments and debates within the field of sociology. It provides a broad range of case studies and the latest theoretical perspectives while covering a variety of topics, theories, and issues from around the world. It is not confined to any particular school of thought. Debates Around Abortion in the Global North Europe, North America, Russia, and Asia Fabienne ­Portier-Le ​­ Cocq Class Boundaries in Europe The Bourdieusian Approach in Perspective Johs Hjellbrekke, Cédric Hugrée, Étienne Penissat, Alexis Spire Covid-19 Responses of Local Communities around the World Exploring Trust in the Context of Risk and Fear Khun Eng Kuah, Gilles Guiheux, Francis K.G. Lim Space, Mobility, and Crisis in Mega-Event Organisation Tokyo Olympics 2020’s Atmospheric Irradiations Rodanthi Tzanelli Subaltern Workers in Contemporary France To Be Like Everyone Else Olivier Masclet, Thomas Amossé, Lise Bernard, Marie Cartier, Marie-Hélène Lechien, Olivier Schwartz, Yasmine Siblot

Religion, Life, and Death Untangling Fears and the Search for Coherence

Pamela Leong

First published 2023 by Routledge 4 Park Square, Milton Park, Abingdon, Oxon OX14 4RN and by Routledge 605 Third Avenue, New York, NY 10158 Routledge is an imprint of the Taylor & Francis Group, an informa business © 2023 Pamela Leong The right of Pamela Leong to be identified as author of this work has been asserted in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reprinted or reproduced or utilised in any form or by any electronic, mechanical, or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publishers. Trademark notice: Product or corporate names may be trademarks or registered trademarks, and are used only for identification and explanation without intent to infringe. British Library ­C ataloguing-­​­­in-​­Publication Data A catalog record for this book is available from the British Library ISBN: ­978-­​­­1-­​­­032-­​­­40474-​­5 (­hbk) ISBN: ­978-­​­­1-­​­­032-­​­­40473-​­8 (­pbk) ISBN: ­978-­​­­1-­​­­0 03-­​­­35324-​­9 (­ebk) DOI: 10.4324/­9781003353249 Typeset in Times New Roman by codeMantra

Contents

Acknowledgments

viii

1

Introduction The Current Study 8 Significance of the Study 8 Organization of the Book 9

2

The Link Between Religion, Health, and Death Anxiety 12 Overview 12 Types of Religiosity and How They Affect Health 15 Mechanisms through which Religiosity and Spirituality Influence Health 16 Promotion of Health Behaviors and Lifestyles 17 Denominational Differences 17 Social Integration and Social Support 18 Facilitation of Meaning and a Sense of Coherence 19 Influence on Affective States and Psychological Processes 21 Facilitation of Coping Skills in Times of Crises 21 Intrinsic Religiosity as a Mediator 24 Religion’s Paradoxical Health Outcomes 25 Religion and Death Anxiety 27 Mixed Findings in the Religion–Death Anxiety Relationship 27 Mechanisms in the Religiosity-Death Anxiety Relationships 28

1

Sense of Control as a Mediating Factor 28 How Different Types of Religiosity Shape Death Anxiety 30 Belief in the Afterlife and Death Anxiety 31 Buffering Theory 32 Death Apprehension Theory 32 Terror Management Theory 33 Religion and the Illusion of Control 33

3

Anticipating Death Methods 41 Data Source and Method 41

41

vi

Contents Sampling Strategy and Sample Characteristics 41 Summary Statistics of the Sample 43 Results and Findings 43 What Is Death? 44 Death Fears 50 The Moment of Death 55 Last Rites: The Imaginary Funeral 58

4

Religion and Tragic Deaths: Suicide and Homicide Suicide 69 Homicide—How 9/11 Shook People’s Faith 71 Trust God. Don’t Lose Faith 72 Lesson Learned: Deepen One’s Faith in the Face of Tragedy 74 Losing My Religion: Questioning Faith 75 9/11 as Having No Effect on One’s Faith 77 God as Working in Mysterious Ways 78 God as Testing Humans 78 Don’t Blame God or Religion 79 The Dark Side of Religion 81

69

Religious Extremism 81 Religious Used for Both Evil and Good 82 Religion’s Divisiveness 83 Religious Personification of Evil 83

The Varied Nature of Religion 83 5

Religion and Tragic Deaths: The Death of Young Children Broaching Death to a Child: Imparting the Idea of a Heaven or Afterlife 87 A Toned-Down Version of Heaven 103 Heavenless 104 Explaining Death and Dying through a Religious Lens as a Possibility 106

6

Reflections on Life, Death, and Religion Brutally Honest Obituaries 113 The Meaning of Life 115 What Makes You Happy? 118

113

7

How College Students Use Religion to Comprehend Death Religion as an Agent of Socialization: Delineating Appropriate Death Behaviors 120 Religion as a Resource for Understanding the Meaning of Death and Life 121

120

86

Contents vii Somewhere between Heaven and Hell: A Debate on Life After Death 124 Religion as a Source of Comfort 126 Religion as a Source of Empowerment through the Illusion of Control 127 The Religiously Conflicted 130 Resistance to Religion 132 When Religion Does Not Have the Answers 134 8

Religious Interpretative Frameworks in the Face of Death Making Sense of Death: Religious Interpretative Frameworks 137 Religion as a Resiliency Resource 139

137

Index

145

Acknowledgments

I am grateful to Neil Jordan and his editorial team, as well as project manager Sashivadana and the production team, for their contributions to the development of this book. A heartfelt thank you to the students in my death and dying classes who allowed me to analyze the content of their work. R, of course, remained a constant source of support.

1

Introduction

In my summer 2021 online death and dying class, I posed the following three questions as an assignment1: 1 2 3

What lessons have you gleaned from the coronavirus pandemic? How does the coronavirus pandemic change your perception of death and dying? How does the coronavirus pandemic change your perception of life in general?

Among the lessons that college students learned from the pandemic included the following: I have learned a lot from this pandemic. From health practices to adaptation to new things, all the way to things about myself and those around me. But the main lesson I have learned is that life is very short and I took for granted the time I had before COVID-19 struck. Keeping to a small friend group and not being as social as I’d like, the ability to not see anyone anymore has caused a natural drift from those who I have seen on a daily basis. I learned that in order to really make the most of my life, I need to be more outgoing, assertive and really capture every moment because I’ll never know when something like this will happen again, and I definitely don’t want to regret not using my time wisely. This applies to everything— school, work, just going out in public anywhere. It’s all time that I spent being a little too shy to take advantage of. I’ve learned exactly how selfish people can be, and even crazy. I mean, I already knew both of those things already but within the last year, both things have become far more evident to me. We see it through people not thinking about others and still going out in the middle of the pandemic, such as how a lot of people still went on vacation to a place such as Florida when it was still extremely bad. And now that a lot of restrictions have been lifted, at work [a fast food franchise] there have been far more assholes that come through all entitled.

DOI: 10.4324/9781003353249-1

2 Introduction Honestly, the biggest lesson I have gleaned from the pandemic is that people aren’t very hygienic and most are very selfish. It’s so unfortunate. I am not lying when I say I assumed that most people’s cleaning standards are similar to mine. My dad is very intense when it comes to cleaning—so ​­ much so that everything in my house is ridiculous clean (no, I do not do these chores [as] they stress me out). However, I was so naïve to assume this. While the selfish portion [is that] I noticed when people bought out toilet paper. I learned overall that, unfortunately, selfish people are prominent, especially when faced with global stressors. The pandemic has taught me a lot about my own fortitude and breaking points. It has also reaffirmed for me the absolute important of strong social connections, especially during hard times. While I am not a medical professional, I was working as an activities and dining staff in a memory care neighborhood of an assisted living. These are people who are unable to wear masks, similar to a special-ed or early childhood classroom. It came down to us to ensure that the locked neighborhood stay safe. I experienced the perspective of essential personnel and learned what it was like to have to work through such fear. Working through the whole pandemic taught me about human kindness, as well as selfishness. In the absence of family, my residents became my friends and family. I learned the utter necessity of routine and comradery. The coronavirus pandemic has taught me not to take my health for granted. I used to think that I was invincible and that nothing could happen to me. However, this pandemic has shown me that anything can happen and that I need to take care of my health. In addition to lessons learned, the COVID-19 pandemic has changed students’ perceptions of death and dying, as indicated below: This pandemic showed me how fragile life is and how fast death can truly come about. I have read countless articles, overheard news stories, listened to the radio. Somewhere someone very young and healthy is dying [because of] this disease. It scares me. I am very grateful for being healthy. I did my part and continue to do it because the stories I have heard based on the effects of this virus is something not only I wish to never undergo, but I don’t want to accidentally put someone in a position of undergoing that themselves. So many lives were lost; it’s heartbreaking. I wonder when enough is enough. Now with this new delta variant, I fear for my family and myself all over again. I now know that the littlest things can lead to a faster death. And sadly it’s not just the life decisions we make ourselves, but we can to a degree blame it on others as well. For example, the consideration many have had for others’ safety in the pandemic proves their selfish desire to go out against CDC recommendations can trump over common decency. It’s hard to

Introduction  3 think of how many people would still be here if people just followed the recommendations closer. I realized it is very difficult to comprehend the sheer number of deaths that have happened because of COVID. I still don’t think I fully comprehend it. I’ve read statistics and looked at different comparisons to other events such as WWII, but there is something in my brain that is stopping me from feeling the full emotional impact. I think this is probably a self-preservation tactic— I think my mental health would deteriorate to the point of no return otherwise— but it’s also very sad since I see a lot of people who can’t (or won’t) empathize because of the same thing happening in their brains. I saw death everywhere. For the first time in a long time, I was very aware that we die— my parents, my partner, my friends, myself. I felt uncomfortable all the time with the onset of an existential dread. I learned that thought I like to think I have come to understand death as a very human experience, I realized that somewhere it was normal for it to feel far away rather than right outside the door. The pandemic also changed students’ perceptions of life, in general: [T]his pandemic taught me how life can have its ups and downs. One day it can be great and the next thing, you know, it’s been over a year and a half [and] you missed 75% of your college in-person experience and you’re learning how to deal with that. I learned I have to stop letting fear and anxiety control my life because after dealing with this pandemic, not only did I realize how short life was (especially for those who unfortunately lost their lives to COVID-19 at a very young age) but how critical moments in my life are missed and I cannot go back. While this pandemic has caused more bad, the good that came from it was a personal journey that I can apply when this virus is finally dead and gone. The coronavirus pandemic has also taught me not to take things for granted. I used to take my freedom for granted and now I realize that it is a privilege. I need to cherish the things that I have and not take them for granted. [In addition, t]he coronavirus pandemic has also taught me to cherish my time with loved ones. I used to take my family and friends for granted, but now I realize how important they are to me. I need to spend more time with them and cherish the moments that we have together….The coronavirus pandemic has changed my perception of life in general. I used to think that life was unfair and that bad things only happened to other people. However, this pandemic has shown me that bad things can happen to anyone and that life is not always fair. This pandemic has also shown me that life is precious and that I need to cherish every moment….I also used to think that life was just about going to work, school, and socializing.

4 Introduction However, this pandemic has shown me that there is more to life than just that. I need to cherish the time that I have with my loved ones and make sure that I am living my life to the fullest. We can now see just how easy it is for society to crumble a bit in structure when something terrible happens, especially when it’s unexpected. I joked at the beginning of COVID when all the toilet paper was being sold out and people went crazy buying out entire grocery stores; this proved we would be fucked if we ever face a zombie apocalypse. I just don’t think we, as a society, are fully capable of handling intense and unexpected things, at least not in the short term. We can see this based on the current rise [of covid infection] and COVID-related problems, all thanks to people lying about being vaccinated and going out without masks I think I have come to perceive life as much more fragile than I used to, and I am much more aware of my own mortal fears. Life feels so much shorter; small things I used to worry about have become much less important. In addition, this pandemic continues to alter how I perceive quality- of-life. Without the busy- ness in the way to distract me, and society- created markers of status and growth, success became: “ did I eat today?” “ did I get sunlight?” “ did I ask for help?” I think I have become far more aware of both my strengths and dysfunctions in meeting my foundational needs. It has forced me to be more patient with myself, and to define a good life my much simpler criteria. I think 1.5 years and counting of loss and worry has taught me to panic less, and enjoy life more. The pandemic now changed my perception of life positively. This is because in my chaotic mind, I notice that this is my first experience with a pandemic. So I think to myself something grand and spontaneous in the positive sense [must] also be possible— especially if a pandemic is possible. It sounds very crazy, and I recognize that; however, my perception is if something so negative can impact people globally and cause mass standstill, something really amazing can happen too. As college students—indeed, students at all educational levels—have experienced firsthand, the COVID-19 pandemic has uprooted all facets of people’s lives, from family and social relationships to employment, education, consumer behaviors, travel and leisure, and healthcare and fitness routines. In addition, the pandemic forced delays, cancellations, or else massive reworkings of milestone events, rituals, and ceremonies that include those related to birth, marriage, commencement, and funerals. There were extreme adaptations— often governmentally mandated—not seen before the pandemic. Most significant, the COVID-19 pandemic disrupted social relations, resulting in both short- and longer-term physical separations from loved ones. Yet, according to the Pew Research Center (2020), the pandemic actually has tightened family and other social bonds, as people globally have turned

Introduction  5 to their religious groups, family, friends, and other social networks for support. A record number of young adults in the United States (many of them college students) also moved back home at the start of the pandemic, an outcome that has strengthened immediate family bonds. Not only did the pandemic strengthen family bonds, it appears, too, to have strengthened religious faith. In the Pew Research Center 2020 study, 28% of Americans reported stronger religious faith because of the pandemic— a percentage considerably higher than that reported by 13 other economically developed countries. In the United States, White Evangelical Protestants were most likely to report stronger faith as a result of the pandemic, with nearly half (49%) of the White Evangelical Protestants surveyed reporting stronger religious faith. Among American Catholics, 30% indicated that their religious faith has strengthened as a result of the pandemic (Pew Research Center 2020). While the pandemic might have strengthened personal religiosity, the pandemic proved to be disruptive to the faithful with respect to the performance of religious rituals at milestone events. The pandemic’s effects on end-of-life rituals, whether religious or secular, were especially palpable. During the pandemic, public gatherings expressing grief or else celebrating the life of the decedents were no longer permissible. In the United States and elsewhere, funeral gatherings were restricted. In many cases, the funeral services were held virtually, with a video camera streaming the ceremony. The challenges preceded the funeral service. In the Islamic faith, it is important to bury the body as soon as possible—ideally within 24 hours after death. Jewish funerals also customarily occur within 24 hours after death. However, around the world, hospital morgues and funeral homes were inundated, leading to difficulties in retrieving bodies and conducting funeral rituals (Felter et al. 2020). Indeed, simply arranging for a burial proved to be a formidable task. NPR reported that in Iraq, it took days to get a body out of the morgue to prepare for the burial. This is in a culture in which the dead are buried the same day they die, if at all possible (Frayer et al. 2020). Some religious rituals involve preparing the body for burial, which necessitates physically touching the body. It is customary in Islamic tradition, for instance, for relatives to bathe the body soon after death. The World Health Organization, however, recommended against touching or kissing a decedent’s body, even though there was no evidence that a dead body could transmit COVID-19 (Felter et al. 2020). The pandemic, however, led to the banning of many embodied death rituals. In Egypt, bathing the body was a practice that was restricted to medical staff; in other cases, a very restricted number of participants was permitted to engage in the ritual provided they wear protective gear (Felter et al. 2020). In India, families were unable to transport the bodies or ashes of their loved ones to the Ganges River, a ritual performed to ensure salvation for the decedents. The lockdown also created a shortage of Hindu priests to perform rituals for peace and salvation for the deceased. In Israel, hosting guests during shiva was not permitted during the pandemic. As a result,

6 Introduction mourning occurred at home alone, or else shiva gatherings occurred through video conferencing. Orthodox Jews, moreover, had to give up reciting the kaddish, as the special mourner’s prayer required the physical presence of ten mourners. More liberal practitioners, however, allowed the quorum to be met through video conference (Frayer et al. 2020). Finally, for those who had not yet succumbed but were on death’s door, the fear of dying alone was quickly realized during the pandemic. Family and friends were restricted, if not banned, from visitation. Clergy, too, often were not permitted to be physically present with the dying persons in their final moments during the pandemic. For Roman Catholics, a priest usually performs the last rites at the dying person’s bedside. The priest performs rituals that involve physical touch, including giving communion and anointing the dying person with oil. During the pandemic, however, religious leaders have been barred from entering healthcare settings and other facilities to administer the last rites (Felter et al. 2020). The performance of religious rituals at a person’s end of life takes on special importance for both the dying person and his or her loved ones. The religious rituals symbolize an enduring connection between the decedent and his or her religious community, and between the decedent and his or her God. The decedent exits the earthly realm firmly rooted in a community. One does not die alone but is assured of membership in an enduring community and even an association with the divine during and after this passage. The COVID-19 pandemic, however, disrupted and overturned the possibilities of these connections. ***** Death is a fundamental part of life as it is an event that every individual experiences ultimately. Because death is interwoven into the fabric of the human condition, people expectedly develop means to address and cope with death. Religion is one major means through which people come to interpret and understand death. Religion is invoked in periods of extreme instability and adversity— during social upheavals, wars, natural catastrophes, and other crises. These periods, what sociologist and theologian Peter Berger ([1967] 1990) terms “marginal situations,” call into question the social order ( pp. 22–23). Indeed, marginal situations disrupt the social order— or at least the perception of social order. One of those marginal situations in life is death. Death, perhaps more than any other event, reveals just how fragile human existence and all social worlds are. According to Berger, Death radically challenges all socially objectivated definitions of reality— of the world, of others, and of self. Death radically puts in question the ­taken-for-granted, ­​­­ ​­ “business ­ as usual” attitude in which

Introduction  7 one exists in everyday life. Here, everything in the daytime world of existence in society is massively threatened with “irreality”—that is, everything in that world becomes dubious, eventually unreal, other than one had used to think. (Berger [1967] 1990:43) Religion enters the picture by legitimating the reality of the social world, particularly during crisis periods and especially in the face of death. According to Berger ([1967] 1990), religion legitimates marginal situations by providing an “all- encompassing sacred reality” that allows individuals undergoing crisis situations to continue to exist in their social world. Those individuals are provided with the knowledge that marginal situations (including death) have a place in their universe (Ibid.:44). While marginal situations are experienced by individuals at different points in time, at times, whole groups or entire societies undergo the crisis collectively. This is apparent in times of war, natural disasters, and violent social upheavals— crises that disrupt and threaten the collective reality. Religious legitimations come to the forefront during these periods (Berger [1967] 1990:44) to help religious believers make sense of the crises and to restore the social order in which they were a part. Marginal situations aside, religion shapes people’s attitudes toward death, affecting death anxiety, in particular. Specific religious doctrines may shape attitudes toward death differently. Traditional Christian doctrine that promises eternal rewards and punishment, for instance, may provide assurances in the face of death, leading to lower death anxiety levels. In other cases, religion may increase death anxiety. The relationship between religion and death anxiety is a complex one, with research findings mixed. Some studies have found a negative correlation between religiosity and death anxiety (see, for instance, Knight and Elfenbein 1993); higher religiosity, in these cases, was associated with lower levels of death anxiety. Other studies, however, found positive correlations between religiosity and death anxiety, wherein higher religiosity produced higher levels of death anxiety or else higher levels of death fear (see, for instance, Saleem and Saleem 2020; Kahoe and Fox Dunn 1975). In other cases, higher religiosity was correlated with more positive death attitudes ­ (Swenson 1958). Various factors likely contributed to the mixed findings, including measurement issues, issues related to the research design, and sampling issues. Possible mediators in the religion- death anxiety relationship also may be present. Finally, the direction of the associations remains important. Notably, while religion may affect death anxiety (either increasing or decreasing death anxiety), conversely those who are more death-anxious or death-fearful may be more religious, as they turn to religion to cope with anticipated death (anticipatory death grief) or conventional post­death grief.

8 Introduction

The Current Study While religion clearly does affect death attitudes and death anxiety, in this study, the focus is not so much on the relationship between religion and death anxiety but rather on how college students make sense of death and the dying process. Even more specifically, the aim of this study is to address the following: Under what circumstances do college students invoke religion when dealing with issues related to death and dying, and how do they use religion to make sense of death? Based on the existing literature, one would expect that students from more fundamentalist religious backgrounds in which their religions emphasize the afterlife—particularly the notion of “hell”—will express greater death anxiety. Death anxiety may be especially prominent for students who identify as GLBTQI+ who were raised with religion. Students who are less religious or not religious at all, in contrast, will be less fearful of death. In terms of coping with crises, including coping with violent forms of death, the expectation is that deeply religious students will be more likely to absolve their God of any responsibility for traumatic deaths, including violent deaths and deaths on a mass scale (e.g., terrorist attacks and wars). Such was the case for some Rwandan genocide survivors, who attempted to reconcile their religious dissonance in light of some of the Catholic parishes and leaders’ roles in the 1994 genocide. In Fox’s (2012) study of Rwandan genocide survivors in Boston, some of the subjects relinquished judgment of their God and instead forged a new understanding of God. Some survivors understood genocide as part of some grand supreme plan. Other subjects assigned more human attributes to God, thereby justifying God’s limitations and powerlessness. As one subject noted, God may mourn with the people but He does not have the power to change the 2012:76). ­situation (Fox ­ Finally, given the prominent role of religion in their life, one would expect that students with deep religious roots will indicate a preference for religious rituals and symbols in death rituals (i.e., funerals). In contrast, nonreligious students will resist religious symbols and religious rituals during their last rites or else temper their presence.

Significance of the Study The degree to which college students grieve as a result of losing loved ones during their collegiate career may not be well known. However, Cox et al. (2015) report that between 30% and 36% of one of their study’s sample experienced the loss of a friend or family member in the previous year. By the end of the respondents’ college career, nearly 60% reported at least one such loss since beginning college (Ibid.:283). The losses that college students have experienced have been amplified during the COVID-19 pandemic. What makes college students’ death experiences especially striking is that the experiences with death occur on top of already significant psychological

Introduction  9 distress reported by college students (Cox et al. 2015:283). Acute grieving, combined with ongoing psychological distress, may have long-term negative consequences in the academic, social, physical, and psychological spheres of students’ lives (Ibid.:283–284). Compounding matters, losses, and deaths are not so easily resolved for college students because they affect the total life of the students involved—their school work, work responsibilities, family relationships, friendships, and self- concepts (Glass 1990:154). Because religion often is invoked in times of extreme distress, it makes sense that religion may help mitigate the stress and distress that surround death events, perhaps by allowing grieving students and others to alter their attitudes toward death and the dying process. Findings from this study, thus, may shed light on how religion may enhance (or not) death fears, death anxiety, and crisis- coping strategies. In doing so, insights from this study may have profound real-world applications, as they can help prepare students for the inevitable occurrence in the future by transforming how they think about death, thereby helping them cope more effectively with a death in which they personally are affected. Additionally, findings from this study may help students prepare for work in professions in which they are expected to assist people coping with death-related issues (for instance, social work, nursing, healthcare, medicine, counseling, and education).

Organization of the Book Using content analysis of student assignments from multiple sections of a death and dying class, this book focuses on the different trends and patterns in how college students use religion to make sense of death. For students with deep roots in their religion, religion often is used in ways that provide students with a semblance of both comfort and human order. However, religion is neither comforting nor orderly for other students, who may either question religion or else actively resist religion in its different forms. Chapter 2 examines the link between religion, health, and death anxiety. The first part of the chapter focuses on a body of research that links religiosity with health outcomes, both positive and negative outcomes, and the mechanisms through which religiosity influences health. An investigation of the inverse relationship between religiosity and health then follows. The second portion of Chapter 2 focuses on the relationship between religion and death anxiety. While the existing scholarships are mixed with respect to the findings, the chapter delves into the different processes involved in the religiosity– death anxiety relationship. The chapter examines how one’s sense of control serves as a mediating factor in the religiosity- death anxiety relationship, how different types of religiosity shape death anxiety, and how people’s belief in the afterlife affects their death anxiety. Chapter  3 provides the methodological details for the overall study, as well as the results and findings related to anticipatory death events. More specifically, the student respondents outline what they think death is and what it entails, they divulge their death fears, speculate what they think

10 Introduction happens at the exact moment of death, and then describe their preferred last rites. Chapter 4 highlights the different ways in which students tie in religion with tragic deaths that involve suicide and homicide. The first portion of the chapter focuses on students’ perceptions of whether self-inflicted death is justified. Subsequent sections focus on the events of September 11, 2001, and how the terrorist attacks on New York City shook people’s faith. ­

In Chapter  6, students reflect on life and death, drawing on religion in their assessment of obituaries, the meaning of life, and what makes them happy. Chapter  7 analyzes the trends and patterns in how college students invoke religion in response to death events. The data indicate that for the religiously faithful, religion is a major agent in socializing meaning, values, and social norms. In addition, religion has helped students better understand both death events and the meaning and value of life. For some, this understanding has enabled a greater sense of coherence and order in the face of chaos, trauma, and grief; for others, death events have increased their skepticism of religion. The chapter then ponders life after death, underscoring how the religiously devout use religion as a source of both comfort and empowerment, albeit in different ways and even if empowerment is illusory. Subsequent portions of Chapter 7 focus on patterns among students who are religiously conflicted or else who actively resist religion altogether. Finally, the chapter considers that perhaps religion does not have all the answers to life’s most pressing questions and concerns. Chapter 8 analyzes the different religious interpretative frameworks that students used to understand various death situations. Some students relied on a strictly religious interpretative framework for making sense of death, while other students opted for religious explanations in specific contexts only. Other students were committed to a strictly scientific interpretative framework. Still, other students relied on a blended interpretative framework that combined religious and scientific explanations. Chapter 8 concludes by highlighting religion as a resiliency resource. Simultaneously, the chapter underscores how religious coping styles are not at all equal and that different religious coping styles may or may not yield constructive or healthy outcomes.

Introduction

11

Note 1 The bulk of the data collection occurred before the COVID-19 pandemic. The three questions referenced here were posed only to one section (summer 2021) of my death and dying class.

References Berger, Peter. [1967] 1990. The Sacred Canopy: Elements of a Sociological Theory of Religion. New York: Anchor Books/Random House. Cox, Bradley E., Jessica G. Dean, and Robin Kowalski. 2015. “Hidden Trauma, Quiet Drama: The Prominence and Consequence of Complicated Grief among College Students.” Journal of College Student Development 56(3):280–285. Felter, Claire, Lindsay Maizland, and Sabine Baumgartner. 2020. “How the World Has Learned to Grieve in a Pandemic.” Council on Foreign Relations, May 19. Retrieved August 9, 2021 (https://www.cfr. org/article/coronavirus-funeral-how-world-has-learned-grieve-pandemic). Fox, Nicole. 2012. “‘God Must Have Been Sleeping’: Faith as an Obstacle and a Resource for Rwandan Genocide Survivors in the United States.” Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion 51(1):65–78. Frayer, Lauren, Daniel Estrin, and Jane Arraf. 2020. “Coronavirus Is Changing the Rituals of Death for Many Religions.” NPR, April 20. Goats and Soda ( NPR blog). Retrieved August 9, 2021 (https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/ 2020/04/07/828317535/coronavirus-is-changing-the-rituals-of-death-for-manyreligions). Glass, Jr., J. Conrad. 1990. “Death, Loss, and Grief in High School Students.” The High School Journal 73(3):154–160. Kahoe, Richard D. and Rebecca Fox Dunn. 1975. “The Fear of Death and Religious Attitudes and Behavior.” Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion 14(4):379–382. Knight, Kim H. and Morton H. Elfenbein. 1993. “Relationship of Death Education to the Anxiety, Fear, and Meaning Associated with Death.” Death Studies 17:411–425. Pew Research Center. 2020. “More Americans than People in Other Advanced Economies Say COVID-19 Has Strengthened Religious Faith.” Retrieved August 9, 2021 (https://www.pewforum.org/2021/01/27/more-americans-than-people-inother-advanced-economies-say-COVID-19-has-strengthened-religious-faith/). Saleem, Tamkeen and Shemaila Saleem. 2020. “Religiosity and Death Anxiety: A Study of Muslim Dars Attendees.” Journal of Religion and Health 59:309–317. DOI: 10.1007/s10943-019-00783-0. Swenson, Wendell. 1958. A Study of Death Attitudes in One Gerontic Population and Their Relationship to Certain Measurable Physical and Social Characteristics. University of Minnesota-Minneapolis: Unpublished Ph.D. dissertation.

2

The Link Between Religion, Health, and Death Anxiety

Overview Religion represents an important cultural force as it gives structure and meaning to human values, behaviors, and experiences (Mueller et al. 2001); it not only shapes the daily lives of individuals and groups but also provides an important cognitive resource in both daily life and during times of existential crises. In addition, many scholars and religious adherents believe that religion is linked to beneficial psychological and physiological outcomes. A large body of research, in fact, links religiosity with positive health outcomes. Positive health outcomes associated with religiosity include better coping skills and psychological adaptation (Hackney and Sanders 2003; Siegel and Schrimshaw 2002); better overall psychological well-being (Hayward et  al. 2016; Reutter and Bigatti 2014); lower levels of psychological distress (Ellison et  al. 2001); better immune functioning (Koenig et  al. 2001); health-promoting attitudes and behaviors such as increased exercise, smoking cessation, more seatbelt use, proper nutrition, and greater use of preventive health services (Mueller et al. 2001); lower blood pressure (Larson et al. 1989); reduced participation in health- deleterious behaviors such as smoking (Hayward et  al. 2016; Whooley et  al. 2002), drinking (Hayward et al. 2016), and h igh-risk sex (Galvan et al. 2007); disease prevention and progression (Mishra et al. 2017); and lower mortality rates from certain diseases, including cancer (Dwyer et al. 1990) and HIV (Ironson et al. 2016). In terms of mental health, religious respondents and those with no religious preference were found in Hayward et  al.’s (2016) study to have better overall psychological health than atheists or agnostics, along with higher happiness levels, greater self- esteem, and lower anxiety levels. The religiously affiliated group and the no religious preference group also had significantly lower symptoms of depression than agnostics. The religiously affiliated also had higher mean levels of life satisfaction and lower levels of death anxiety in comparison to agnostics. In addition, religiously affiliated individuals and those with no religious preference were more optimistic than either atheists or agnostics (Ibid.:1033).

DOI: 10.4324/9781003353249-2

The Link Between Religion, Health, and Death Anxiety  13 There is even evidence to suggest that religion helps people cope with major crises. In Ozcan et  al.’s (2021) interview of 14 female humanitarian aid workers from seven countries and six different faiths, for instance, the participants who embraced faith-based or spiritual practices noted feeling calm, reassured, greater stability, and more certain that “things…will be ok.” Their faith-based practices also allowed them to feel greater resilience—the ability to withstand and bounce back. The faith-based and spiritual practices further enabled them to feel “more present,” thereby enhancing their ability to deal with death, grief, violence, and other traumas experienced by the survivors with whom they were aiding in conflict- or disaster-affected countries. It was the humanitarian aid workers’ belief that surrendering to God restored their balance in moments in which they did not feel that they had complete control. Knowing that they were not responsible for the traumatic events and outcomes provided the aid workers with some semblance of relief. The self-reports of the humanitarian aid workers in Ozcan et al.’s (2021) study, thus, provide some evidence that faith-based and spiritual practices can be health-protective, if not health- enhancing. That is to say, faith-based and spiritual practices facilitate positive health outcomes by allowing people to acknowledge, process, and accept chaos (and the ensuring emotions in chaos’ aftermath) in healthier, less destructive ways (Ozcan et al. 2021). On the other hand, some of the scholarship reveal an inverse relationship between religiosity and health. Hayward et al.’s (2016) study, for instance, found that while religiosity was associated with more positive psychological well-being (which includes psychological health functioning characteristics, social support relations, and health behaviors), the religious had poorer physical health outcomes in terms of body mass index (BMI), number of chronic conditions, physical limitations, and disease symptoms. More specifically, Hayward et  al.’s (2016) study revealed that individuals with any religious affiliation had significantly higher BMI, more ADL limitations, and more self-reports of suffering from more chronic conditions than either atheists or agnostics. The religious also reported more symptoms of disease ​­ ­ than the ­non-religious affiliated (Ibid.:1033). Some of the existing research also found a negative association between religiosity and health outcomes for HIV-positive subjects. In a sample of 101 HIV-positive subjects over an extended period, for instance, Ironson et al. (2011) found that people’s view of God predicted HIV disease progression. A positive view of God was associated with better health outcomes (slower disease progression), while a negative view of God predicted more rapid deterioration. It was hypothesized that positive and negative appraisals of God possibly were related to individuals’ ability to cope with stress and uncertainty; that is, how someone views God is linked to his/ her/their distress tolerance and emotional regulation ability (Ibid.:421). Having a positive view of God may help HIV-positive individuals deal more effectively with the challenges and stressors associated with a positive

14  The Link Between Religion, Health, and Death Anxiety HIV serostatus (Ironson et  al. 2011:421). Those perceiving themselves to have a secure relationship with their God may view their God as loving and merciful. This belief in a benevolent God may then positively affect levels of optimism and coping skills while reducing drug use and other risky behav1 iors (Ibid.:423). ­ Conversely, a negative view of God may include the perception of HIV as a punishment from God. In such instances, God is viewed as punitive, if not vengeful. At variance with their God, this conflicting stance and internal dissonance may result in health- deleterious outcomes, including increased anger, impulsivity, and risk-taking behavior that would intensify disease progression (Ibid.:421). Another study found an association between religiosity and h igh-r isk behaviors among black men who have sex with men (MSM). Specifically, Watkins et al.’s (2016) study reported that highly religious black MSM disclosed more cocaine and crack use and a greater likelihood of engaging in ­high-HIV-risk ­​­­ ​­ behavior (i.e., ­ unprotected receptive anal intercourse), a finding that contradicts a wide body of research linking religiosity with positive health outcomes. However, Watkins et al. speculated that perhaps the black MSW experienced higher levels of religious dissonance regarding the black church’s stance on homosexuality. As a result, black MSM may internalize the homophobic messages present in their religious community, resulting in ­self-perceptions ​­ that might increase ­HIV-risky ​­ behaviors (Ibid.:536). ­ It is believed that the stigma that some black MSM internalize may lead to lower involvement in long-term monogamous sexual partnerships, a lower likelihood of frequenting high-risk locations that have HIV-prevention supplies, and a lower likelihood of engaging in safer-sex practices (Watkins et  al. 2016:536). It is further thought that internalized homophobia may contribute to black MSM’s perception of a lack of both self- efficacy and community support, both of which contribute to the men’s self-worth and self- care. Because the black MSM’s sexual identity is deemed by their communities to be objectionable, black MSM may then encounter an internal battle that involves their racial, sexual, and religious identities. The internal battles that arise from the discordance between their primary racial and religious identities and personal sexual practices may then lead to psychological distress (Hill and McNeely:480) that increases the risk of high-risk behaviors, which include unprotected anal sex, higher numbers of sex partners, and a greater likelihood of substance use. Substance use, according to Reback and Larkins (2013), significantly has been linked to internalized homophobia and unprotected sex. In addition, substance use has masked feelings of shame associated with internalized homophobia, increasing high-risk sexual behaviors. The fear of being labeled, marginalized, or rejected by their communities may then lead MSM to conceal behaviors deemed by their communities as reprehensible (Ibid.:152). The shame and guilt produced from internalized homophobia also may lead to “depersonalized and compartmentalized sexual partnering,” wherein MSM disregard the occasional same-sex or trans sexual partners with whom

The Link Between Religion, Health, and Death Anxiety  15 they may engage in different and sometimes extreme sexual acts that they otherwise would not engage in with their heteronormative female partners (Ibid.:161). ­ While religiosity was found to be negatively associated with health outcomes in Watkins et  al.’s (2016) study, spirituality, in contrast, was associated with more health-protective behavior. More specifically, increased spirituality was negatively associated with unprotected anal sex, receptive anal intercourse, alcohol use, cocaine use, and crack use (Ibid.:545). This double-pronged finding in Watkins et  al.’s (2016) study, with religiosity associated with unhealthy practices and spirituality associated with health-protective practices, indicates both conceptual and real qualitative differences between religion and spirituality. “Religion” typically refers to formalized sets of beliefs and practices and includes visible behaviors such as congregational attendance and praying. “Spirituality,” in contrast, is far less visible and refers to a more internalized set of beliefs, values, and feelings—including the feeling of connectedness to the divine (Ibid.:537). In many ways, spirituality represents “intrinsic religiosity” (discussed in a later section), which has been found to be health- enhancing. Ironson et al.’s (2016) study, for one, underscored the significance of spirituality on health. In their 17-year observation of HIV-positive patients at the mid-stage of disease, spirituality coping was associated with longer survival. Key to the survival, however, was how the patients used spirituality. Spiritual practices (e.g., prayer, yoga, and other relaxation techniques), spiritual reframing (viewing HIV as part of the divine plan), overcoming spiritual guilt, spiritual gratitude, and spiritual empowerment were central to longer survival among HIV patients. In fact, the patients who engaged in these spiritual strategies had a two-to-fourfold survival advantage (Ibid.:1072). In other words, the type of religious or spiritual coping matters. “Positive coping strategies” seem to be associated with better health outcomes, while “negative coping strategies” increased symptomatology and the severity of symptoms. Neither religiosity nor spirituality is immune to harmful effects. As indicated in Smith-MacDonald et al.’s (2017) study, although positive effects of spirituality were reported among combat veterans, there also were healthdeleterious effects. In the study, positive spiritual coping was linked to diminishing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, anxiety, and quality of life, while negative spiritual coping exacerbated these issues and increased suicidality and depression. In other words, spirituality was found to have a “double effect,” with both positive and negative outcomes. While the effects were mostly health- enhancing, harmful side effects also were evident (Smith-MacDonald ­­ ​­ et al. 2017:1937).

Types of Religiosity and How They Affect Health Religiosity, or religious involvement, refers to religious attendance, practice, activity (Musgrave et  al. 2002:557), or attitudes. It is the degree of

16  The Link Between Religion, Health, and Death Anxiety participation in, or adherence to, the beliefs and practices of an organized religion (Mueller et al. 2001). Religiosity tends to be divided into two domains: private religiosity and public or organizational religiosity. The former is religiosity achieved in the private confines of the religious adherent, while the latter is religiosity achieved in public, typically within the physical spaces of an organized religion—that is, within congregational spaces. Private religiosity consists of both non-organizational religiosity and subjective religiosity. Non-organizational religiosity refers to religious activities that occur outside of the religious institution (for instance, reading religious literature, watching religious television, or praying at home). Subjective religiosity, in contrast, refers to internalized religious beliefs and attitudes. Public or organizational religiosity, on the other hand, refers to public forms of religiosity, which include church membership, church attendance, and actual participation in the social life of the congregation (Levin et al. 1995). Both private religiosity and public religiosity appear to influence health positively. Ellison (1993) found a positive relationship between frequent participation in private devotional activities and self- esteem among black Americans. Sowell et  al.’s (2000) study of HIV-positive, mostly African– American women reported an inverse relationship between spiritual activities and emotional distress, even after controlling for HIV stressors. Biggar et al. (1999), however, found no relationship between the frequency of prayer and depression levels, although the frequency of prayer was positively associated with optimism about the future. Thus, there are some indications that private religiosity may serve as a stress-resistance resource, affecting health through psychological pathways. Studies, too, consistently find a positive relationship between organizational religiosity and health outcomes. Ellison et al. (2001) noted salutary effects of attendance at religious services on both distress and well-being, while Idler and Kasl (1992) found that frequent attendance at worship services and active congregation participation were strongly associated with improvements in functional ability2 and the capacity to perform activities and self- care among the elderly. For functionally disabled elderly men, public religious involvement also reduced depressive symptoms over a threeyear period. Whooley et al. (2002) reported a positive association between frequent religious attendance and health outcomes, with less frequent service attendees more likely to report both current smoking and the tendency to start smoking during a three-year follow-up. Frequent church attendance also has been linked to lower mortality risk (Ellison et al. 2000).

Mechanisms through which Religiosity and Spirituality Influence Health There are various possible pathways through which religiosity and/or spirituality influence psychological well-being and physical health. Below, I discuss seven ways, recognizing that these categories are not mutually

The Link Between Religion, Health, and Death Anxiety  17 exclusive, nor is the list exhaustive. The seven general mechanisms include (1) promotion of health behaviors and lifestyles; (2) denominational differences; (3) social integration and social support; (4) facilitation of meaning and a sense of coherence; (5) influence on affective states and psychological processes; (6) facilitation of coping skills in times of crises; and (7) other ­mediators—notably ​­ intrinsic religiosity. Promotion of Health Behaviors and Lifestyles It has been suggested that religious beliefs affect attitudes and behavior toward health. Religious doctrine, in particular, along with the level of devotion by adherents, may affect health outcomes, depending on how the religious tradition frames the physical body. Some religious traditions view the body as a prison, in which the soul is liberated at death, rendering health-promoting activities unnecessary. Other religious traditions, however, view the body as a temple of the soul, in which case health-protective activities are encouraged and promoted, and religion is linked to health primarily through prescriptive or proscriptive doctrinal and behavioral expectations that impose dietary or lifestyle expectations (Dwyer et al. 1990). Social, moral, and dietary prescriptions— elements of religious doctrines, beliefs, and attitudes—may positively affect health by shaping or altering health lifestyles through prohibitions on health- deleterious behaviors such as smoking, drinking, and risky sexual relationships and through the promotion of positive health behaviors such as proper diet, hygiene, and exercise (Cockerham 2001). Denominational Differences There is evidence that denominational affiliation affects health outcomes. Durkheim (1951), for instance, maintained that Catholics consistently have lower suicidal tendencies than Protestants, a finding confirmed by other scholars (e.g., Breault 1986). Dwyer et al. (1990) observed that counties with high concentrations of Jews have high rates of cancer mortality, while areas with high concentrations of Mormons systematically have low cancer mortality rates. Idler and Kasl (1992) reported that Jews are considerably less likely than Catholics to become depressed, suggesting a main effect of religious affiliation. Wardwell et  al. (1963) noted that Protestants are particularly susceptible to coronary heart disease, with a rate of myocardial infarction nearly four times as great as that of Catholics. Finally, positive health effects of low-risk lifestyles and a healthy diet are most evident among certain religious groups (notably Mormons and Seventh-Day Adventists), who have lower mortality from cancer, heart disease, and other diseases than do members of the general population (Koenig 1997). The above studies all document the effect of denominational differences on health outcomes, although the specific explanations for why health

18  The Link Between Religion, Health, and Death Anxiety outcomes vary remain up for debate. While investigators attributed the denominational differences to differences in diet and other health behaviors, they also could not exclude the possibility that greater religiosity played a role (Koenig 1997). Social Integration and Social Support Individuals who attend religious services on a regular basis tend to enjoy larger social networks, more frequent interaction with like-minded individuals, and more reliable social support relations than those who attend services irregularly, rarely, or not at all (Ellison et  al. 2001; Ellison 1991). Among the benefits of social interaction through participation in public religious activities include reducing feelings of isolation and marginality (Siegel and Schrimshaw 2002). In addition, participation in organizational religious activities can contribute to feelings of self-worth, as the connection individuals have with each other, with their religious community, and with their God can foster individuals’ perceptions that they are cared for and esteemed (Pilla 2001; Idler 1987:228). Moreover, the social interaction and outreach promoted by religious groups increase the likelihood that ill individuals will receive regular monitoring from congregation members, who may express concern for the ailing individual, encourage the individual to seek medical care, and call or visit the person. The increased surveillance by the religious community, in turn, reduces the ability of a worshipper to isolate himself from others, thereby also reducing the propensity for that worshipper to neglect his health (Koenig et al. 2001:393). Ties to religious groups also provide access to material support, in addition to emotional and cognitive support (Idler 1987:228). In other cases, the social unity that characterizes religious groups is in the symbolic sense only, but even this, too, may affect health positively. Indeed, as Phillips and Feldman (1973) noted, the collective sentiments and bonds associated with religious rituals and religious holidays may affect the timing of death, with “death dips” preceding ceremonial occasions such as birthdays, Presidential elections, and the Jewish Day of Atonement, and deaths postponed until after the ceremonial events. Likewise, Idler and Kasl’s (1992) study found a “Passover pattern” in deaths for Jewish males3 and similar dips in death among Christians (notably Catholics) preceding Christian holidays (i.e., Christmas and Easter), with deaths increasing following the religious holidays. The postponement of death until after important events, according to Phillips and Feldman (1973), symbolizes the need for societies to reaffirm the collective sentiments that give them their unity and identity and that remake the bonds uniting the individual with the group. These collective bonds apparently can be so strong that they cause a postponement of physical death and, simultaneously, a delay in the severing of social relationships. These findings underscore the significance of religion in establishing social connectedness,

The Link Between Religion, Health, and Death Anxiety  19 if not social cohesion, and suggest that social unity has profound effects on a social group member’s psyche, health, and even life expectancy. In some cases, direct social support and social integration are not needed. Indeed, it appears that the mere perception of social support may be enough to generate some psychological benefits. This was illustrated in Ozcan et al.’s (2021) study of female humanitarian workers. In Ozcan et al.’s study, many of the participants’ identities were strengthened through their faith and spiritual practices. Their faith provided a sense of self beyond their identity as aid workers. Because their sense of self extended beyond their functional role, their psychological state was less affected in the face of trauma, as they had a sense of person even in the midst of chaos and death. In other instances, Ozcan et al.’s (2021) participants indicated that their faith gave them a “positive energy” and a sense that they were connected to something much larger than the self. It was this sense of belonging to something bigger that provided them some hope and motivation, even when coping with death. Faith and spirituality also provided a sense of community and belonging in other ways for the humanitarian aid workers in Ozcan et al.’s (2021) study. The humanitarian aid workers described acquiring “community” not through attendance of organized religious activities but through their personal relationship with their God or another higher power. Still, in other cases, community was achieved through joint religious or spiritual practices—prayer or meditation groups, for instance. Such engagements provided social support systems and a sense that one is not alone, even when nationalities and faiths differed. Thus, rather than dividing, faith and spirituality unified across cultural boundaries. Connection among the humanitarian aid workers was forged through faith, even if not a shared faith. Both a spiritual connection and social connection were felt and acknowledged through a shared understanding of how faith represented an essential part of people’s life and identity. Facilitation of Meaning and a Sense of Coherence Religion is a cognitive resource in that it provides an interpretive framework from which individuals can make sense of their world and cope with life (Musgrave et al. 2002). Religion provides the individual with coherence and meaning (Idler 1987), reducing the uncertainty in not only daily life but also in moments of crises (Ellison et al. 2001). Religious involvement, here, offers two positive cognitive consequences that are believed to be consequential to health: (1) it reduces a sense of fatalism or helplessness in the face of unpredictability or crisis, and (2) it fosters a sense of optimism, regardless of whether one has any control over the situation (Idler 1987:229). Religious involvement may modify an individual’s perception of distress associated with suffering (Idler 1987), providing interpretive schemes in situations of physical suffering, health-related stress, and illnesses in

20  The Link Between Religion, Health, and Death Anxiety particular. First, healing themes and images in religious traditions may help bolster hope or optimism regarding the prospects for recovery (Ellison 1993). Second, by viewing infirmity or illness from the vantage point of the “God-role,” many people may come to see health problems as meaningful (i.e., a product of divine purpose) and perhaps ultimately constructive (i.e., teaching spiritual lessons about suffering). Private worshippers, in this way, derive spiritual support through a personal relationship with God, who represents the supportive “other” in their lives. To private worshippers, it is God who provides social support in a fashion similar to that provided by human kin, friends, and acquaintances. Also, God often serves as a valuable confidant (Siegel and Schrimshaw 2002) too. Unlike human social support, however, God is the one force who unconditionally accepts and loves the individual, despite larger society’s rejection of him/ her/them. Private devotional activities, thus, allow individuals to establish “divine relations” and engage in religious “role-taking” (Pollner 1989), wherein individuals come to perceive themselves and their own life circumstances not as larger society sees them (and for which larger society rejects them) but as a significant “other” (the deity) sees them. These devotional activities, in turn, may foster psychological well-being by providing resources for empowerment and enhancement of the self and contributing to a sense of comprehensibility and meaningfulness of events and problematic situations (Ibid.:93). Siegel and Schrimshaw’s (2002) study illustrates this precise mechanism. In their study, religion mitigated distress levels associated with illness, suffering, and fear. In particular, the religious/spiritual beliefs and practices allowed HIV-positive individuals to take a more active role over their lives, despite their recognition that their illness was incurable and ultimately fatal. By engaging in religious activities such as praying, individuals were able to reduce their feelings of helplessness. Some participants coped by relinquishing control over their illness to God or another higher power, which eased their own burden and the struggle of attempting to control their illness. Other participants found meaning in their religious experience. Knowing that AIDS was part of a larger divine plan—that is, that God had some purpose or reason for their illness—made coping with AIDS more manageable and acceptable. For other participants, rather than finding meaning for the illness itself, religion/spirituality helped them to find a reason for why they were still alive when so many others had died from AIDS. Still, others used religion to thwart fears about death and uncertainty. Finally, religion/spirituality reduced self-blame among many participants, enabling their gaining of self-acceptance associated with their positive HIV serostatus and their participation in HIV-risk behaviors (Ibid.:97–99). Thus, for chronically ill or terminally ill individuals and those facing crises, religion represents an important means to cope with distressing emotions. It is a way to offer strength, empowerment, and control and a way to decrease anxiety and uncertainty associated with impending death.

The Link Between Religion, Health, and Death Anxiety  21 Influence on Affective States and Psychological Processes Religious practices such as meditation, prayer, and worship can engender positive emotions, such as hope, love, tranquility, feelings of peace, contentment, and forgiveness, and release negative emotions such as hostility (Siegel and Schrimshaw 2002). Religious involvement also can produce higher levels of self- esteem and feelings of efficacy and mastery through positive appraisals from (and fellowship with) fellow congregants and through interpretive schemes of situations of uncertainty and crises. These positive emotions, in turn, can lead to decreased activation of the autonomic immune system and the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal release of stress hormones. In this way, religion produces both psychological effects (e.g., less anxiety) and physiological effects (e.g., decreased blood pressure, heart rate, and oxygen consumption) (Mueller et al. 2001). Enactment and participation in religious rituals and c eremonies—indeed, even the sheer anticipation of these rituals (Idler and Kasl 1992)—may influence overall health by instilling, regulating, and alleviating affective states (e.g., peacefulness, belonging, anxiety, fear, and loneliness) (Levin et  al. 1995:S161). Durkheim ([1912] 1995) argued that the sole purpose of these rituals and ceremonies, in fact, is to arouse affective states— certain ideas and feelings—in order to link the past and present and the individual to the collectivity ( p. 382). The affective states and psychological processes may, in turn, influence physiological functioning (e.g., arousal and immune function) (Levin et  al. 1995:S161), although religious symbols and ceremonies themselves may produce actual physical sensations directly (Idler and Kasl 1992:1076). Finally, some observers suspect that certain worship styles may provide mental health benefits. Worship styles that involve singing, shouting, and physical activity, for instance, are believed to encourage emotional catharsis (Ellison et al. 2001). Music, in particular, may provide affective responses: Religious (or even secular) music played/sung at worship services can produce emotional responses, encapsulating emotions and feelings, and, in turn, contribute to emotional healing. Finally, the “overt expression of emotion” ­ ­​­­ ​­ that is thought to characterize some congregations—African-American churches, for instance—may offer congregants an outlet for pent-up anguish (cf. Musgrave et al. 2002:558) or enable some degree of “possession” (Myrdal [1944] 1996) for a population that otherwise experiences alienation from mainstream social institutions and blocked access to valued social resources. Facilitation of Coping Skills in Times of Crises Religious coping is used during periods of existential crises. Individuals have employed religious coping strategies in the face of both daily life stressors (McIntire and Duncan 2013) and major life traumas such as illness,

22  The Link Between Religion, Health, and Death Anxiety victimization, war, and other global sociopolitical crises (Meisenhelder and Marcum 2004; Pargament et al. 1998; Pargament et al., 1994), and death. In times of trauma—whether as a survivor, first responder, or humanitarian aid worker— a reliable space for self- care may not be possible. Faith-based and spiritual practices, thus, allow people to process and acknowledge emotions, and to observe, process, and accept chaos in healthier, less destructive ways (Ozcan et al. 2021). Pargament et al. (1998) identified patterns of religious coping in samples of people who lived through the 1995 Oklahoma City bombing. Pargament et  al. noted both positive religious coping methods and negative religious coping methods. Positive patterns included religious forgiveness (looking to religion for help in letting go of anger, hurt, and fear associated with a perceived offense), seeking spiritual support from clergy or members, collaborative religious coping (seeking control through a partnership with God in problem-solving), spiritual connection (sense of connectedness with a higher power), religious purification (religious cleansing through religious actions), “benevolent religious reappraisal” (redefining the stressor through religion as benevolent), and religious focus (seeking relief from the stressor through a focus on religion) (Ibid.:711, 720). Negative religious coping that Pargament et al. (1998) identified among those coping with the Oklahoma bombing included spiritual discontent (expressions of confusion and dissatisfaction with God), punishing God reappraisals (defining the stressor as a punishment from God for the sin[s]), interpersonal religious discontent (expressions of confusion or dissatisfaction with religious clergy or members), demonic reappraisal (defining the stressor as the act of the devil), and reappraisal of God’s powers (redefining God’s power to influence the stressful situation) (Ibid.:711, 720). As expected, the positive and negative religious coping strategies produced very different outcomes. In Pargament et al.’s (1998) study, the positive religious coping styles were associated with benevolent outcomes that included fewer symptoms of psychological distress, increased psychological and spiritual growth, and greater cooperativeness (as perceived by the interviewer). Similar findings were confirmed by other scholars. Meisenhelder and Marcum’s (2004) study, for instance, found that more frequent positive religious coping strategies correlated with less severe stress symptoms of numbness and avoidance, and greater positive religious outcomes among Presbyterian clergy. In Silton et al.’s (2014) study, the belief in a benevolent God had positive effects on four psychiatric symptoms: social anxiety, paranoia, obsession, and compulsion. A belief in a benevolent God led to a decline in each of the four symptoms ( p. 1291). In contrast, negative religious coping strategies were associated with emotional distress, depression, poorer quality of life, psychological symptoms, and callousness towards others (Pargament et  al. 1998:721). Silton et  al.’s (2014) study, too, concluded that negative religious coping styles resulted in more psychiatric symptoms. More specifically, the belief in a punitive God

The Link Between Religion, Health, and Death Anxiety  23 increased social anxiety, paranoia, obsession, and compulsion (Silton et al. 2014: 1291). That religion can yield such disparate outcomes highlights how religion can be a source of liberation and comfort for some, while a source of discomfort and stress for others. The literatures seem to suggest that religion and spirituality do provide comfort to people in times of stress for the most part. Some religious coping forms and some religious ideas and attitudes, on the other hand, are more problematic than helpful. There also are indications that in times of crises and trauma, people’s faith, stress levels, and general psychology are especially shattered. When mental distress and spiritual distress occur concurrently, there is a commensurate increase in overall distress and, with it, increased reliance on religious coping strategies. That is to say, when stress levels increase, so too does religiosity. In times of high stress, people rely on various coping strategies, both religious and non-religious strategies. Religious believers, of course, are more likely to use positive religious coping strategies. Pargament et  al. (1998) maintained that religious believers specifically are more likely to draw on religious coping strategies that reflect their secure relationship with their God, a sense of spirituality, and a more trustworthy perspective of the world (Ibid.:720). Such a finding was confirmed by Meisenhelder and Marcum (2004), who found that the most frequently used strategies to cope with posttraumatic stress included religious strategies— specifically, looking to God for strength, support, and guidance. Prayers represented the second-most used response strategy to 9/11 among the clergy surveyed. Bjorck and Thurman’s (2007) study also affirmed the relevance of religious coping strategies in stressful life situations. The participants in Bjorck and Thurman’s study used more positive religious coping strategies than negative ones in response to general stress. As negative events increased, the use of both positive and negative religious coping increased. It was only the negative religious coping activities, however, that were associated with poor(er) health, increased depression, and decreased satisfaction with life (Ibid.:164–165), suggesting that negative religious coping strategies are counterproductive, if not dysfunctional. There is still other evidence that certain forms of religious coping may, in fact, be counterproductive. In Pargament et  al.’s (1994) study, religious avoidance— defined as the use of religion as a diversion from a problem (e.g., “Let God worry about the problem for me”) (p. 350, 351)—led to psychological costs in the form of increased self-reported distress ( p. 355) and increased global distress ( p. 358). Studies by Ironson et al. (2011) and Ironson et al. (2016), further suggest that certain forms of religious coping may have deleterious effects. In Ironson et al.’s 2011 study, a positive view of God was associated with better health outcomes in the form of slower HIV disease progression, while a negative view of God produced more rapid disease progression. In a follow-up study, “positive coping strategies” were associated with better health outcomes among HIV-positive patients at the mid-stage

24  The Link Between Religion, Health, and Death Anxiety of disease, while “negative coping strategies” increased symptomatology and the severity of symptoms (Ironson et al. 2016). While certain religious coping styles appear to produce counterproductive outcomes, the literatures tend to stress the health-beneficial effects of religion and spirituality. Nonetheless, it must be underscored again that religion represents an important source of liberation and comfort for some. For others—particularly during times of extreme stress and existential crises—religion may have deleterious, if not destructive, effects on people’s psychological and physiological health. Intrinsic Religiosity as a Mediator There are other possible mediators in the religion-health relationship. A study by Steffen et al. (2017), for instance, pointed to intrinsic religiosity’s role as a key mediator in the relationship. Defining intrinsic religiosity as “carrying one’s religious values and beliefs into everyday life and practicing religion as an end unto itself” ( p. 159), Steffen et al.’s study found intrinsic religiosity to be the strongest mediator of the relationship between religious service attendance and depressive symptoms, and between religious service attendance and anxiety symptoms. Steffen et al. concluded that mental health benefits from religious service attendance are not simply due to increased social support or a certain religious response style; rather, the relationship is at least partly influenced by people internalizing their religion and practicing or living their religion in their daily lives. In another study, Steffen (2014) found that intrinsic religiosity was related to decreased maladaptive perfectionism, while extrinsic religiosity was related to increased maladaptive perfectionism. Steffen et al. (2015) also found a positive relationship between intrinsic religiosity and positive affect, life, satisfaction, and intrinsic life aspirations in a later study. In their examination of the effects of both intrinsic religiosity and extrinsic religiosity on a broad range of psychopathology in a normal sample of college students, Power and McKinney (2014) similarly concluded that intrinsic religiosity enhanced mental health. The students in Power and McKinney’s study who self-rated as high(er) in intrinsic religiosity reported lower amounts of psychopathology than students who self-rated lower on intrinsic religiosity. Specifically, students reporting high intrinsic religiosity also reported fewer depressive symptoms, as well as fewer somatic, avoidant personality, attention- deficit, and antisocial personality problems (Ibid.:1534). ­ Intrinsic religiosity apparently has health-salutary effects on not just psychological health, but there are indications that it, too, enhances physical health. After controlling for demographics, lifestyle variables, and church attendance, Charlemagne-Badal and Lee (2016) found a strong relationship between intrinsic religiosity and lower hypertension rates. Such a finding gives additional credence to the beneficial health effects of intrinsic religiosity.

The Link Between Religion, Health, and Death Anxiety  25 On the other hand, there is evidence that it is not intrinsic religiosity itself but other factors that affect health. Existing studies have highlighted the role of antecedent variables–factors that precede and shape intrinsic religiosity. Burris et al.’s (1994) experimental study, for instance, found that loneliness was associated with increased intrinsic religiosity. That is, intrinsic religiosity intensified in response to the presence of a need for social relations (Ibid.:332). The link between loneliness and intrinsic religiosity may then partly explain the rather strong links between intrinsic religion and susceptibility to religious social influence and between intrinsic religion and frequent church attendance (Burris et al. 1994:331). In fact, Batson et  al. (1993) maintained that both the maintenance and intensification of religiosity are due in part to the sense of a collective identity and the selfesteem that individuals derive from their membership in a religious group. The loneliness-intrinsic religiosity relationship, thus, may well reflect not only the intrinsically religiously motivated individual’s commitment to the divine but to the beliefs and practices necessary to remain in good standing with one’s religious group (cf. Burris et al. 1994:331). In other words, intrinsic religiosity appears to be extrinsically motivated.

Religion’s Paradoxical Health Outcomes Although a number of studies noted positive associations between religiosity and health, other studies observed religion’s health- crippling effects, particularly with respect to private religiosity. Levin et  al. (1995), for instance, found an inverse relationship between non-organizational religiosity and health, and Idler and Kasl (1992) reported that private religiosity actually exacerbated disability. Other bodies of research, both theoretical and empirical, determined that religiosity aggravated the deleterious effects of some stressors (Ellison et al. 2001). In general, religiosity can undermine mental health when religious norms and beliefs foster feelings of guilt and shame, eroding feelings of competence, self-worth, and self- efficacy. Religion also can encourage stigmatization, the withdrawal of community support (Koenig et al. 2001), and, in extreme cases, explicit condemnation by religious leaders (Ellison et al. 2001). The internalization of these moral messages, the fear of divine punishment, and the fear of social sanctions from religious community members then may produce inner turmoil, increasing levels of stress/distress and/or exacerbating ­pre-existing ​­ health conditions. Religious beliefs and involvement also may affect health adversely through more direct means, including through: avoidance or discontinuance of conventional medical treatments in favor of divine healing or alternative treatments; failure to seek timely medical care; avoidance of effective preventive health measures (e.g., childhood immunizations, prenatal care, and protected sexual intercourse); refusals of blood transfusions; and physical abuse (Koenig et al. 2001). Indeed, this is a problem among some religious

26  The Link Between Religion, Health, and Death Anxiety fanatics and extreme fundamentalists, who may deprive family members and other loved ones of appropriate health care, even when illnesses and conditions are serious (Koenig 1999). In other cases, religion leads to quite paradoxical outcomes, as it protects or enhances health in some respects while undermining health in other respects. Such was the case during the COVID-19 pandemic. Analyzing the data from approximately 12,000 Americans surveyed between March 1924, 2020, shortly after the World Health Organization declared COVID-19 a global pandemic, Schnabel and Schieman (2021) found that the distress that Americans experienced during the early stages of the pandemic was buffered by religion. That is, religion had a protective effect on religious Americans’ mental health. However, religion also had adverse effects on people’s physical health in that highly religious people tended to view the pandemic as less concerning, and they also were less likely to support public health measures to contain it, and less likely to practice social distancing or isolation. In Schnabel and Schieman’s (2021) study, highly religious Americans— particularly evangelicals— experienced less distress than more secular Americans. However, the mental health benefits came at a cost. Highly religious people tended to hold attitudes that ran counter to public health policy recommendations aimed at curbing the spread of COVID-19. Highly religious Americans also were less concerned about the pandemic, less likely to support public health guidelines, and more comfortable breaking social distancing protocols. Instead of supporting public health protocols, highly religious Americans were more likely to “pray away” the virus. The paradoxical finding is enmeshed in politics, with higher religiosity associated with political conservatism (Schnabel and Schieman 2021; Samore et al. 2021). During the pandemic, politically and socially conservative Americans consistently downplayed the seriousness and dangers of COVID-19. Republicans also were less likely to trust scientists concerning COVID-19; indeed, prominent Republicans publicly and aggressively casted doubt on science. Republicans also expressed open distrust of liberal media sources of information. Finally, Republicans generally were more concerned with the economic ramifications of the pandemic than with any health safety issues (Samore et al. 2021). Such counterproductive attitudes, whether separately or jointly, then led to massive resistance to COVID-19 precautionary behaviors among politically, socially, and religiously conservative Americans. Religion, in this case, is a double- edged sword. While it helped people cope with the distress associated with the pandemic, simultaneously it exacerbated the hardship that religious Americans faced. By denying that a problem even existed—that ­ ​­ is, denying the gravity of ­COVID-19—highly ­​­­ ​­ religious Americans unwittingly undermined their own physical health. In doing so, however, they also endangered public health (Schnabel and Schieman 2021). Thus, while Schnabel and Schieman’s (2021) study confirmed that religion

The Link Between Religion, Health, and Death Anxiety  27 had health-protective effects in the face of crisis by tempering the distress that religious Americans experienced, there were paradoxical outcomes in that religion also adversely affected people’s physical health through counterproductive attitudes and avoidant behaviors. Mental health, here, came at the cost of physical health, affecting both religious individuals and the public at large.

Religion and Death Anxiety Because religion represents a powerful force in shaping people’s attitudes and general psychology, it is not surprising that religion also plays a major role in death anxiety, particularly given that various religions have much to say about death and its aftermath. Glass’ (1990) study confirmed the prominent role that religion plays in death attitudes. In Glass’ study, high school students identified the church or religion as the third strongest influencer of their present attitudes toward death (24.4% of the sample). Religion, in fact, was behind only “personal thinking” and “the death of someone close” in shaping high school students’ attitudes toward death. Moreover, 63.8% of the sample felt that the church or religion was “very important” in playing a part in developing their death attitudes. On the other hand, 22% of the sample felt that religion or the church had “no part” or a relatively small part only in the development of death attitudes. The overall research findings, however, are mixed with respect to the religion/religiosity-death ­­ ​­ anxiety relationship. Mixed Findings in the Religion–Death Anxiety Relationship A number of studies link religion with death attitudes and, specifically, death anxiety. Some studies found positive correlations between religiosity and death anxiety, with religiosity associated with increased death anxiety. Feifel (1959), for instance, found that people who were religious were personally more afraid of death than non-religious people ( p. 121; cf. Chasin 1971:108). Alexander and Adlerstein’s (1959) experiment using death association words found a correlation between religiosity and the reactions to death stimulus words: Religious subjects were more inclined to view death more consciously, they had earlier and clearer memories about death, they expressed more feeling when confronted with death, and they appeared more comfortable discussing topics surrounding death. In contrast, the non-religious were found to see death more as “the natural end of life,” and they emphasized life and the rewards of living. Death, in other words, was not a salient phenomenon for the non-religious (cf. Chasin 1971:107). Other studies have found a negative correlation between religiosity and death anxiety, with religiosity associated with lower death anxiety. In one study, intrinsic religious orientation was correlated with reduced death anxiety (Kahoe and Fox Dunn 1975). Another study found that highly religious

28  The Link Between Religion, Health, and Death Anxiety people or those demonstrating a fundamentalistic view of religion had more positive death attitudes than people with little religiosity (Swenson 1958). The negative association between religiosity and death anxiety also was confirmed in Knight and Elfenbein’s (1993) study, in which students who self-reported as religious were more likely to report decreased death anxiety. More recent studies also concluded that religiosity tempers death anxiety. Saleem and Saleem (2020), for instance, found a significant inverse relationship between religiosity and death anxiety among Muslim dars attendees, providing further credence that religiosity can buffer death anxiety feelings. Chaiwutikornwanich’s (2015) study of Buddhists and Christians in Thailand revealed that the more believers practiced the teaching of their religion (here, through meditation), the more they applied religious teaching to their lives and the more belief they had in the afterlife, resulting in less death ­­ anxiety (p. 1030). In still other cases, death fear or death anxiety increased only under specific conditions. Kahoe and Fox Dunn (1975), for instance, noted a positive relationship between death fear and dogmatic adherence to religious doctrine, but this relationship occurred for only Baptists in their sample ( p. 381). Meanwhile, Hoelter and Epley’s (1979) study that examined correlations between religiosity measures and a multidimensional fear of death subscale concluded that religiosity may reduce certain specific death fears (for instance, fear of the unknown—that is, fear related to the ambiguity of death and the ultimate question of life) while increasing other death-related fears (for instance, fear for significant others or the fear from the perceived effect of one’s own death on the lives of one’s survivors), depending on whether the fears are dealt with directly by religious belief. Mechanisms in the Religiosity-Death Anxiety Relationships For religious believers, religious belief systems provide explanations and even rationales for why death occurs, and what happens after death. Such explanations may provide a context of meaning in the face of death (as opposed to destroying meaning) (Knight and Elfenbein 1993:423). This context of meaning may then enable a greater understanding of why death events occur and what happens thereafter. It is believed that such “knowledge” supplies religious believers with a semblance of comfort, as it assuages believers of both death anxiety and death fear and provides them with a sense of control (Ellison and Burdette 2012) over their own lives. Sense of Control as a Mediating Factor If sense of control is the mediating factor in the religion– death anxiety relationship, religion may either enhance or undermine perceived sense of control. Both outcomes were detected in Ellison and Burdette’s (2012) study. While several aspects of religion (service attendance, belief in an afterlife,

The Link Between Religion, Health, and Death Anxiety  29 and conservative Protestant affiliation) positively associated with a sense of control, certain religious beliefs (e.g., fundamentalist beliefs, notion of human sinfulness, and biblical literalism) inversely related to a sense of control. Ellison and Burdette (2012) maintained that conservative and fundamentalist religions may undermine sense of control by: (1) promoting cognitive rigidity and intellectual inflexibility; (2) dismissing the value of logic, reason, and intellect in solving problems; and (3) discouraging activities that encourage human agency (Ibid.:14). In addition, they noted that religious believers who endorsed the idea of biblical literalism and certain religious notions—notably the idea of human sinfulness—may be more likely to feel a diminished sense of control. This is because the aforementioned notions fostered feelings of hopelessness, promoted feelings of guilt and other counterproductive feelings, and diverted attention and energy from more productive thoughts and activities (cf. Ellison and Burdette 2012:15). The notion of an afterlife also may reduce one’s sense of control by couching an eternal afterlife in strictly religious terms. That is to say, the eternal afterlife, which believers believe cannot be attained through secular means, may lead believers to focus on religious and spiritual attainments exclusively, at the expense of secular accomplishments— accomplishments that otherwise could be achieved through personal initiative and direct action. The focus on religious and spiritual attainments, in turn, diminishes the sense of personal control and competence (Ellison and Burdette 2012:16). Ellison and Burdette (2012), however, found that the belief in an afterlife actually increased the average sense of control among research subjects, rather than diminished it ( p.  16). Ellison and Burdette surmised that this unexpected finding may in part be explained by religious believers’ reliance on a divine power. For believers, the afterlife may represent a desirable and possibly honorific outcome in which a divine “other” confers to the most faithful followers. Not only has this higher power promised faithful followers eternal bliss in the afterlife, but He is said to be good, loving, always looking out for their interests, and caring for them in perpetuity. Such assurances may affect sense of control positively. Yet, in Pargament et al.’s (1994) study, handing the reins over to God completely and relying on God to solve people’s problems represented a form of religious avoidance—that is, the use of religion as a diversion from a problem ( pp. 350, 351). This complete dependence on God led not to heightened perceptions of self-efficacy ­ ​­ or ­self-control ​­ but to increased ­self-reported ​­ distress (Ibid.:355) and increased global distress (Ibid.:358). Thus, while religion appears to promote a greater sense of control, at times it undermines the sense of control. Actual religious practices, too, may enhance the perception of self- efficacy or sense of control. A number of literatures documented the importance of congregational attendance in providing important social ties and support (see, for instance, Siegel and Schrimshaw 2002; Idler 1987). Actual social

30  The Link Between Religion, Health, and Death Anxiety support provision, in addition to the feeling of being socially integrated— the sense of being a part of a community—may elevate one’s sense of control over his or her own life. Participation in religious groups also may facilitate one’s sense of control by helping religious believers cultivate skills and competencies that contribute to one’s feeling that one is in control (Ellison and Burdette 2012:16). How Different Types of Religiosity Shape Death Anxiety Not only does religion/religiosity affect death anxiety, but the type of religion and religiosity also matters. Nelson and Cantrell (1980), for instance, found that actual religious practice (in this case, church attendance) was a stronger predictor of death anxiety than religious belief. This finding was confirmed by Duff and Hong (1995). In Duff and Hong’s study of residents in a retirement community, the most religious community (measured as the frequency of religious service attendance) had the lowest death anxiety. In the same study, multiple regression analysis revealed that the frequency of religious service attendance was the most significant and strongest predictor of death anxiety. Private forms of religion (i.e., prayers, meditation, and reading religious texts), on the other hand, were not significantly associated with lower death anxiety. Silton et al.’s (2011) study of liberal Protestant U.S. adult members of a Presbyterian Church, too, found inverse relationships between religiosity and death anxiety, though the relationships were based on very specific religiosity indicators and very specific death fears. Church attendance, other church involvement, and belief in life after death, for instance, were inversely related to the fear of what happens after death. Private devotion was inversely related to the fear of dying in pain. Involvement in church activities (aside from religious services) was inversely related to fear of leaving one’s loved ones behind. All four measures of religious beliefs and practices were associated with less fear of the unknown (what happens after death). In addition, in Silton et al.’s (2011) study, selected measures were associated with other death fears. Church involvement, for example, had a significant association with the fear of leaving loved ones behind, and private devotion had a significant “salutary association” with the fear of dying in pain. None of the religious measures in Silton et al.’s study were associated with the fear of dying alone (Silton et al. 2011:366). Studies also have concluded that extrinsic religiosity and intrinsic religiosity influence death anxiety differently. Parsing out the relationship between intrinsic religion and death anxiety Falkenhain and Handal (2003) found that the low intrinsic religious group in their study had significantly more death anxiety than either the high or middle intrinsically religious groups ( p. 73). Bolt’s (1977) earlier study, however, did not find a significant relationship between intrinsic religiosity and death fear.

The Link Between Religion, Health, and Death Anxiety  31 Using Allport and Ross’ (1967) scale that measures extrinsic and intrinsic religious orientation, Bolt (1977) examined the relationship between extrinsic and intrinsic religious orientation and death fear. Extrinsic religiosity here referred to religion instrumental to achieving an end. That is to say, individuals use religion to acquire certain needs, including security and status. Intrinsic religiosity, in contrast, considers religion as an end in itself. For the intrinsically religious, religion is a “master motive in life,” where individuals internalize religious beliefs and live their religion. A positive association between extrinsic religiosity and death fear was identified in Bolt’s (1977) study, particularly with heightened concerns regarding one’s fate in the afterlife. Intrinsic religiosity, however, was not significantly related to death fear but instead was negatively associated with a concern about one’s fate in the afterlife. Bolt’s (1977) study, while revealing, has limited generalizability, given the small sample size of 62 subjects and the use of a convenience sampling of psychology students enrolled at a single college. Nevertheless, a growing body of literature seems to point to the health-beneficial effects of intrinsic religiosity (e.g., Steffen et  al. 2017; Charlemagne-Badal and Lee 2016; Steffen et al. 2015; Steffen 2014; Power and McKinney 2014) and the healthundermining effects of extrinsic religiosity (Steffen 2014). Belief in the Afterlife and Death Anxiety Most religions teach that an afterlife exists after death. The prospect or promise of an afterlife may assuage fears of death by assuring believers that life does not simply cease with death (cf. Ellis and Wahab 2013:150). Moreover, prevailing the idea that the afterlife will be a joyful experience, as long as the religious faithful adhere to the teachings of the religion to which they belong during their earthly existence, may further help buffer the level of death anxiety. On the other hand, those who violate the prescribed religious teachings can expect to experience an eternity of torturous hell unless they can obtain forgiveness before death (cf. Ellis and Wahab 2013:150). The fear of eternal punishment, understandably, may lead to higher death anxiety for those who believe in a vengeful God. In addition, if death’s aftermath is punishing, religious believers will be more inclined to avoid situations that result in punishment (Nelson and Cantrell 1980:149). Thus, it is not simply the mere threat of a vengeful, punishing God and the threat of a torturous afterlife that might produce higher death anxiety among religious believers but also what believers must do (or avoid) to maximize their chances for a blissful afterlife. The imperative to be extremely mindful and exceptionally avoidant of problematic behaviors and situations therefore may heighten death anxiety. Since few people (including the religiously committed) adhere stringently to religious teachings, concerns about one’s fate may become particularly

32  The Link Between Religion, Health, and Death Anxiety concerning if their religion teaches them that God is an unforgiving and vengeful God (cf. Ellis and Wahab 2013:152–153). Thus, the more an individual believes in an unforgiving and vengeful God and in the existence of an afterlife, the greater the death anxiety we might expect. BUFFERING THEORY

Buffering theory asserts that religions have developed sets of premises and deductions to help alleviate the fear of death for their believers (Ellis and Wahab 2013:150). As a result, this theory predicts an inverse relationship between religiosity and death anxiety (Ellis and Wahab 2013:150), as most people will be motivated to conform to the commandment of their religion, either to avoid a torturous afterlife or else to be guaranteed eternal joy. In a departure from the buffering theory, Nelson and Cantrell (1980) argued that the relationship between religiosity and death anxiety is curvilinear. They reason that, on the one hand, the most religious will believe in an afterlife and therefore will be more motivated to adhere to the commandments of their religion. Non-religious people, on the other hand, generally do not espouse the idea of an afterlife and therefore have little reason to fear death (cf. Ellis and Wahab 2013:152). In other words, the two ends of the religious spectrum—the ­ ​­ extremely religious and the non-religious—are ­ ­​­­ ​­ the ones who are most likely to NOT fear death. It is those who are in the middle of the religious spectrum—the moderately religious—whom Nelson and Cantrell predicted would experience the highest death anxiety. This is because they are likely unsure whether or not there is an afterlife. Also, if there is an afterlife, the moderately religious may not have prepared for it by following the tenets of their religion. Thus, the eternal fate of the moderately religious becomes uncertain (cf. Ellis and Wahab 2013:152). DEATH APPREHENSION THEORY

It is not only the fear of punishment in the afterlife that might lead to increased death anxiety. The uncertainty of the outcome also may increase death anxiety. Death apprehension theory, a theory that assumes that the main source of people’s death fears centers on the afterlife (Ellis et al. 2013:193), suggests that the belief in an afterlife actually increases death anxiety because of the uncertainty of the outcome. The outcome is perceived to be polar opposites— either very good (an eternity in heaven) or else very bad (an eternity in hell)— and there are no second chances (Ellis et al. 2013:193; cf. Ellis and Wahab 2013:152). Moreover, the outcome appears to be absolute, with no middle-ground or gradations in outcomes. There is no universal consensus, however, that a belief in the afterlife predicts death anxiety. In explaining the relationship between religion and death anxiety, Falkenhain and Handal (2003), for one, noted a high association between the measures used to measure religion, belief in the afterlife, death anxiety, and death acceptance. The strongest relationship they

The Link Between Religion, Health, and Death Anxiety  33 found was between intrinsic religion and belief in the afterlife, with intrinsic religion correlating strongly and positively with a belief in the afterlife (Ibid.:73). Interestingly, the only variables in the study that did not significantly correlate were death anxiety and belief in the afterlife (Ibid.:73). TERROR MANAGEMENT THEORY

The preponderance of the literature, however, seems to link belief in the afterlife to death anxiety. This linkage underscores the power of prevailing cultural world views—here, the power of religious beliefs about death and its aftermath (the afterlife). Cultural worlds views, which include religion, may help buffer humans from terrifying experiences by providing structure and order and by substantiating their existence as meaningful and enduring (cf. Van Tongeren et al. 2013). The management of paralyzing terror through cultural belief systems (e.g., religion) is known as terror management theory (TMT). The central premise of TMT is that people are distressed by thoughts of death. As a result, they gravitate toward self-preservation in ways that increase the likelihood of their survival (Leary and Schriendorfer 1997:26). Utilizing cultural resources is one way for the death-anxious to both manage the terror associated with death and to transcend death. According to TMT, people use cultural worldviews and meaning to manage existential crises and to combat anxiety-provoking concerns. This theory stemmed from the ideas of American cultural anthropologist Ernest Becker, who maintained that human beings’ awareness of their own mortality has led them to construct systems of values through which they can deny their “finitude,” or the end of their earthly existence. Through systems rooted in various disciplines (including theology, philosophy [morality], politics, culture, and science), humans attempt to transcend death and obtain immortality, whether in the literal or symbolic sense (cf. Jong 2018:86). Religion can be used to manage terror, and it often is. When confronted with one’s own mortality, religious beliefs become more prominent (Jong 2018:93). Viewing God as a protector and provider, people often turn to their god when they need help with a problem they are unprepared or illequipped to address themselves (cf. Ellis 2016:487). Also, in times of terror, people perceive and sense a lack of control over their environment and situation. People are psychologically averse to feeling as though they lack control, which may then result in feelings of stress, distress, and despair, causing temporary (and sometimes permanent) debilitation. To regain some sense of control, people may then turn to religion, which Ellis (2016) maintains provides compensatory and “adaptive illusions of control.” Religion and the Illusion of Control Locus of control refers to the extent to which people believe they have control over their own lives. There are two types of locus of control: internal control and external control. Internal control represents a person’s belief that s/he can achieve a desired outcome through self- directed means and using his or her own resources. Internal

34  The Link Between Religion, Health, and Death Anxiety control emphasizes the role of human agency—personal initiative and direct action. External control, in contrast, reflects a person’s beliefs that the desired outcome cannot be achieved on his/ her own and can only be achieved by another agent (Ellis 2016:494– 495), whether an actual person/people or a supernatural force such as a god or another higher power. Ellis (2016) maintained, “When the perception of control exceeds what is in fact objectively probable, it becomes an illusion” ( p. 495). That is to say, “the illusion of control” occurs when people believe they have control over outcomes that really are uncontrollable (Ibid.). This is where religion may come into play. Religion provides individuals with a sense of control— an illusory sense of control—when these individuals resort to superstition, supernatural beliefs, and the like. In embracing the supranormal (e.g., a God), an individual regains access to the ability to control the outcome by accessing the supranormal force, power, or agent (i.e., God), who is able to assist the individual in achieving an end. Religion is part of the illusion of external control when an individual surrenders him/ herself to God (or another higher power), believes God is wholly in charge and believes that s/he, the mortal, can do nothing to alter the divine (Ellis 2016:497). The thinking is that “If it is God’s plan, it must be so.” In other cases, the illusion of external control occurs when a believer obtains a sense of direct empowerment through their relations with God (cf. Ellis 2016:497). In either case—whether God is the intervening force to which believers must surrender or else the believer imagines a personal relationship with God and, presumably, lives life in the reflection of his or her God—religion, as interpreted by believers, provides believers with hope and protection from uncertainty, chaos, and life stressors, including horrifically momentous tragic events. Regardless of whether religion represents a form of internal control or external control for believers, Ellis (2016) suggests that one of religion’s adaptive functions is to compensate those who feel as though they have lost control. This may especially be the case for traditionally disempowered communities, wherein religious beliefs and rituals “artificially inflate perceptions of control, and thus [inflate] optimism and hope” (Ellis 2016:499). Ellis (2016) proposed that the illusions of control, while not without their flaws, ultimately indirectly contribute to human survival by facilitating semblances of order amid chaos, optimism, and ultimately hope (Ibid.:504). As a result, illusory forms of control decrease susceptibility to depression. In doing so, they also stave off sexual dysfunction, thereby contributing to the survival of the human species ( pp.  500–501). In other words, even illusory forms of control may contribute to more positive health outcomes. *****

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35

While the research is mixed in its findings with respect to religion/religiosity’s role in death anxiety and death fears, religion appears to be a tool that can help people manage existential threats. In other cases, however, religion may aggravate or even intensify such threats. The purpose of this current study is to identify how college students make sense of death and the dying process. More specifically, the aim of this project is to investigate the following question: Under what circumstances do college students invoke religion when dealing with issues related to death and dying? Because religion potentially can help mitigate the (di)stress that surrounds death, it is expected that some students will use religion to buffer or manage the distress associated with death. For students who hail from religions that threaten a punitive afterlife, the expectation is that such students will encounter more apprehension toward the death and the dying process, particularly if it relates to the possibility of an afterlife. Identifying whether religion helps buffer death anxiety or else is a source of death anxiety may help religious leaders shape, if not alter, their religious worldviews toward death. In doing so, religious communities may help religious believers transcend death by better preparing believers for the inevitable. By changing death attitudes, religious leaders are in positions to help believers mitigate against mortality anxiety. In dealing with their anxieties surrounding death, religious believers may then become more comfortable interacting with people in crisis. That is, religious communities are in positions to help orient congregants about issues related to dying, death, and preparing for death. In doing so, they are in a position to equip believers with the tools to prepare for the inevitable, or else help believers cope with loss, grief, and mourning in healthier ways.

Notes 1 Another possibility is that a beneficent view of God allows HIV-positive individuals to reframe their relationship with God. One subject in Ironson et al.’s (2011) study, for example, interpreted her diagnosis as a sign that she was specifically chosen by God for a special purpose—in this case, to help the heterosexual HIV community by establishing a HIV community center and safe space for HIVpositive heterosexuals (Ibid.:421). 2 Idler and Kasl’s (1992) finding is meaningful from the standpoint of aging. First, functional disability is a central indicator of health status in the elderly. In their sample, it is strongly associated with both mortality and depression. Second, functional disability also is the basis for projections of active life expectancy or remaining years of independent living (Ibid.:1074). 3 This pattern was not present at all among Jewish females, suggesting that Passover is less religiously and socially significant for Jewish females because women are excluded from any role in the important aspects of ritual. Hence, Jewish men have a greater psychosocial investment in the observance of Passover (Idler and Kasl 1992:1071).

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Kahoe, Richard D. and Rebecca Fox Dunn. 1975. “The Fear of Death and Religious Attitudes and Behavior.” Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion 14(4):379–382. Knight, Kim H. and Morton H. Elfenbein. 1993. “Relationship of Death Education to the Anxiety, Fear, and Meaning Associated with Death.” Death Studies 17:411–425. Koenig, Harold G. 1999. The Healing Power of Faith: Science Explores Medicine’s Last Great Frontier. New York: Simon & Schuster. Koenig, Harold G. 1997. Is Religion Good for Your Health? The Effects of Religion on Physical and Mental Health. New York: Haworth Press, Inc. Koenig, Harold G., Michael E. McCullough, and David B. Larson. 2001. Handbook of Religion and Health. New York: Oxford University Press. Larson, D.B., H.G. Koenig, B.H. Kaplan, R.S. Greenberg, E. Logue, and H.A. Tyroler. 1989. “The Impact of Religion on Men’s Blood Pressure.” Journal of Religion and Health 28:265–278. Leary, Mark R. and Lisa S. Schreindorfer. 1997. “Unresolved Issues with Terror Management Theory.” Psychological Inquiry 8(1):26–29. Levin, Jeffrey S., Linda M. Chatters, and Robert J. Taylor. 1995. “Religious Effects on Health Status and Life Satisfaction among Black Americans.” Journal of Gerontology 50B:S154–S163. McIntire, Laura and Renae Duncan. 2013. “Associations among Religious Coping, Daily Hassles, and Resilience.” Archive for the Psychology of Religion 35(1):101–117. Meisenhelder, Janice Bell and John P. Marcum. 2004. “Responses of Clergy to 9/11: Posttraumatic Stress, Coping, and Religious Outcomes.” Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion 43(4):547–554. Mishra, Shri K., Elizabeth Togneri, Byomesh Tripathi, and Bhavesh Trikamji. 2017. “Spirituality and Religiosity and Its Role in Health and Diseases.” Journal of Religion and Health 56(4):1282–1301. Mueller, Paul S., David J. Plevak, and Teresa A. Rummans. 2001. “Religious Involvement, Spirituality, and Medicine: Implications for Clinical Practice.” Mayo Clinic Proceedings 76:1225–1235. Musgrave, Catherine F., Carol Easley Allen, and Gregory J. Allen. 2002. “Spirituality and Health for Women of Color.” American Journal of Public Health 92:557–560. Myrdal, Gunnar. [1944] 1996. An American Dilemma: The Negro Problem and Modern Democracy. Reprint. New Brunswick, NJ: Transaction Publishers. Nelson, L.D. and C.H. Cantrell. 1980. “Religiosity and Death Anxiety: A MultiDimensional Analysis.” Review of Religious Research 21:148–157. Ozcan, Ozgul, Mark Hoelterhoff, and Eleanor Wylie. 2021. “Faith and Spirituality as Psychological Coping Mechanism among Female Aid Workers: A Qualitative Study.” Journal of International Humanitarian Action 6(1). DOI:10.1186/s41018-021-00100-z. Pargament, Kenneth I., Bruce W. Smith, Harold G. Koenig, and Lisa Perez. 1998. “Patterns of Positive and Negative Religious Coping with Major Life Stressors.” Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion 37(4):710–724. Pargament, Kenneth I., Karen Ishler, Eric F. Dubow, Patti Stanik, Rebecca Rouiller, Patty Crowe, Ellen P. Cullman, Michael Albert, and Betty J. Royster. 1994. “Methods of Religious Coping with the Gulf War: Cross-Sectional and Longitudinal Analyses.” Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion 33(4):347–361.

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Phillips, David and Kenneth A. Feldman. 1973. “A Dip in Deaths Before Ceremonial Occasions: Some New Relationships between Social Integration and Mortality.” American Sociological Review 38:678–696. Pilla, Anthony M. 2001. “A Healing Presence.” Health Progress, May–June. Retrieved September 13, 2002 (http://www.chausa.org/PUBS/PUBSART. ASP?ISSUE=HP0105&ARTICLE=E). Pollner, Melvin. 1989. “Divine Relations, Social Relations, and Well-Being.” Journal of Health and Social Behavior 30:92–104. Power, Leah and Cliff McKinney. 2014. “The Effects of Religiosity on Psychopathology in Emerging Adults: Intrinsic Versus Extrinsic Religiosity.” Journal of Religion and Health 53(5):1529–1538. Reback, Cathy J. and Sherry Larkins. 2013. “HIV Risk Behaviors among a Sample of Heterosexually Identified Men Who Occasionally Have Sex with Another Male and/or a Transwoman.” Journal of Sex Research 50(2):151–163. Reutter, Kirby K. and Silvia M. Bigatti. 2014. “Religiosity and Spirituality as Resiliency Resources: Moderation, Mediation, or Moderated Mediation?” Journal for the Scientific of Religion 53(1):56–72. Saleem, Tamkeen and Shemaila Saleem. 2020. “Religiosity and Death Anxiety: A Study of Muslim Dars Attendees.” Journal of Religion and Health 59:309–317. DOI:10.1007/s10943-019-00783-0. Samore, Theodore, Daniel M.T. Fessler, Adam Maxwell Sparks, and Colin Holbrook. 2021. “Of Pathogens and Party Lines: Social Conservatism Positively Associates with COVID-19 Precautions among U.S. Democrats but Not Republicans.” PLoS One. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0253326. Schnabel, Landon and Scott Schieman. 2021. “Religion Protected Mental Health but Constrained Crisis Response During Crucial Early Days of the COVID-19 Pandemic.” Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion. [Online first.] Retrieved August 10, 2021 (https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/epdf/10.1111/jssr.12720). Siegel, Karolynn and Eric W. Schrimshaw. 2002. “The Perceived Benefits of Religious and Spiritual Coping among Older Adults Living with HIV/AIDS.” Journal of the Scientific Study of Religion 41:91–102. Silton, Nava R., Kevin J. Flannelly, Kathleen Galke, and Christopher G. Ellison. 2014. “Beliefs about God and Mental Health among American Adults.” Journal of Religion and Health 53(5):1285–1296. Silton, Nava R., Kevin J. Flannelly, Christopher G. Ellison, Kathleen Galke, Martha R. Jacobs, John P. Marcum, and Faye J. Silton. 2011. “The Association between Religious Beliefs and Practices and End-of-Life Fears among Members of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.).” Review of Religious Research 53(3):357–370. Smith-MacDonald, Lorraine, Jill M. Norris, Shelley Raffin-Bouchal, and Shane Sinclair. 2017. “Spirituality and Mental Well-Being in Combat Veterans: A Systematic Review.” Military Medicine 182(11/12):1920–1940. Sowell, R., L. Moneyham, M. Hennessy, J. Guillory, A. Demi, and B. Seals. 2000. “Spiritual Activities as a Resistance Resource for Women with Human Immunodeficiency Virus.” Nursing Research 49:73–82. Steffen, Patrick R. 2014. “Perfectionism and Life Aspirations in Intrinsically and Extrinsically Religious Individuals.” Journal of Religion and Health 53(4):945–958. Steffen, Patrick R., Spencer Clayton, and William Swinyard. 2015. “Religious Orientation and Life Aspirations.” Journal of Religion and Health 54(2):470–479.

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Steffen, Patrick R., Kevin S. Masters, and Scott Baldwin. 2017. “What Mediates the Relationship between Religious Service Attendance and Aspects of Well-Being?” Journal of Religion and Health 56(1):158–170. Swenson, Wendell. 1958. A Study of Death Attitudes in One Gerontic Population and Their Relationship to Certain Measurable Physical and Social Characteristics. University of Minnesota-Minneapolis: Unpublished Ph.D. dissertation. Van Tongeren, Daryl R., Daniel N. McIntosh, Jennifer M. Raad, and Jessica Pae. 2013. “The Existential Function of Intrinsic Religiousness: Moderation of Effects of Priming Religion on Intercultural Tolerance and Afterlife Anxiety.” Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion 52(3):508–523. Wardwell, Walter I., Claus B. Bahnson, and Herbert S. Caron. 1963. “Social and Psychological Factors in Coronary Heart Disease.” Journal of Health and Human Behavior 4:154–165. Watkins, Jr., Tommie L., Cathy Simpson, Stacey S. Cofield, Susan Davies, Connie Kohler, and Stuart Usdan. 2016. “The Relationship between HIV Risk, High-Risk Behavior, Religiosity, and Spirituality among Black Men Who Have Sex with Men (MSM): An Exploratory Study.” Journal of Religion and Health 55(2):535–548. Whooley, Mary A., Alisa L. Boyd, Julius M. Gardin, and David R. Williams. 2002. “Religious Involvement and Cigarette Smoking in Young Adults: The CARDIA Study.” Archives of Internal Medicine 162:1604–1610.

3

Anticipating Death

Methods Data Source and Method I teach an undergraduate sociology online course on death and dying. The course allows students to reflect, write, and share with fellow students their thoughts about various aspects of death, including the sociological, psychological, ethical, and philosophical aspects of death. It is this sharing component, in the form of discussion board posts, that makes up the bulk of the class (and student grade). A discussion post assignment includes a set of questions to which students must respond. For instance, an early discussion assignment requires students to respond to the question “What is death?” Once a student responds to the post, s/he may view other student posts to the same prompt. Students may choose to reply to any of their classmates’ posts. Other discussion posts involve a set of questions in response to documentary films about various aspects of death and dying. A content analysis of students’ discussion posts is the most feasible method for this study, allowing one to glean information about how college students understand death and the dying process. Because all the assignments in the online class are writing assignments that often involve reflections, content analysis of the discussion posts (and other writing assignments, where relevant) is the most logical method for this study. Content analysis allows the investigator to discern broad and recurring themes, issues, and patterns in written expressions that quite openly reveal students’ attitudes, concerns, and beliefs about death and the dying process. Of the 28 low-stakes writing assignments for the death and dying course, only two assignments explicitly involve religion. For the other 26 assignments, students may have invoked, unprompted, the topic of religion in discussions surrounding death and the dying process. Sampling Strategy and Sample Characteristics This study involves content analysis only. No human subjects were contacted, either directly or indirectly, for interviews or survey participation. This study received approval from the Institutional Review Board at the DOI: 10.4324/9781003353249-3

42  Anticipating Death author’s university. Consent was obtained from the students whose classwork is analyzed here. The informed consent form was posted on the online teaching platform for my death and dying classes. Students indicated their consent to participate by electronically checking a box that expressed their consent; otherwise, they could opt out of the research by checking a box that noted that they prefer not to participate. The only criterion is that research participants are matriculated university students enrolled in my online death and dying class.1 While most students enrolled in the online courses are 18 and older, occasionally high school students will enroll in coursework at the university. Regardless of age, all subjects are assumed to be mentally competent, indicated by their chronological age and intellectual ability. Data for this study were drawn from students who were enrolled in the death and dying class at the author’s university. The university is located in the northeast part of the United States. The institution is a medium-sized, four-year regional university with some master’s level programs. As of spring 2022, there were approximately 5,066 undergraduate students enrolled at the university.2 The university serves many disadvantaged students, including low-income students and first-generation students. As of spring 2022, approximately 34.05% of the undergraduate students at this university are nonwhite, with Latinx students representing over 50% of the nonwhite student population and African-American students representing about 25% of the nonwhite student population.3 The majority of the students live in relative proximity to the campus. In terms of the city in which the university is located, the city has a population of 43,226 as of the April 2020 U.S. census. The racial composition of the city at the time was 79% White, 6.6% Black, 17.8% Latino, 2.5% Asian, 6% American Indian or Alaska Native, and 3.8% two or more races. Nearly 15% (14.7%) of the city’s population is in poverty (United States Census Bureau 2020). According to the 2014 U.S. Religious Landscape Study of 35,000 American adults from all 50 states, the religious composition of this northeast state is as follows: 58% of adults are Christian, 9% non- Christian faith, 2% other faiths, and 32% unaffiliated (atheist, agnostic, or “nothing in particular”). Among Christians, 34% of American adults in the state are Catholic, 10% are mainline Protestant, 9% are Evangelical Protestant, and 2% are historically Black Protestant (Pew Research Center 2014a). In the same Religious Landscape Study, this northeast state was tied as the state that is the least religiously devout. In the study, 33% of adults in the state indicated that religion was very important in their lives, 23% attended worship services at least weekly, 37% indicated that they prayed daily, and 40% noted that they believed in God with absolute certainty (Pew Research Center 2014c). In 2014, the religious composition of American adults in the nearest major metropolitan city was as follows: 57% Christian, 10% non-Christian faith, 2% other faiths, and 33% unaffiliated (atheist, agnostic, or “nothing in particular”). Among Christians, 29% identified as Catholic, 13% identified as mainline Protestant, 9% identified as Evangelical Protestant, and 3% identified as

Anticipating Death  43 historically Black Protestant (Pew Research Center 2014b). The religious composition of this metropolitan city parallels closely with the state trends. Summary Statistics of the Sample Out of a total of 266 college students sampled between spring 2017 and spring 2022, 218 students gave their consent to participate in the study. The response rate, therefore, is 82%, with a final sample size of N = 218. Of the 218 respondents, 85.8% (N ­ = 187) are female and 14.2% (N ­ = 31) are male. Sex was the only demographic variable the investigator could discern through name, use of pronouns, and written commentaries that suggested that a respondent identified with one sex and not another. No other demographic variable was collected, as the investigator was interested in assessing patterns across responses, rather than group differences in responses. In terms of personal experiences with death, all 218 respondents knew at least one acquaintance, family member, or loved one who had died. In terms of the cause of death of the decedents whom the respondents knew: • • • • • • • • •

25.7% (N = 56) of the respondents knew someone who had died of old age or old-age-related ­ ­​­­ ​­ issues. 35.8% (N ­ = 78) knew someone who had succumbed to cancer. 13.8% (N ­ = 30) knew someone who had died as a result of an accident (e.g., as a result of injuries sustained in a car accident or a fall). 15.1% (N ­ = 33) knew someone who had died from a drug overdose (whether intentional or unintentional overdose). 9.2% (N ­ = 20) personally knew someone who had been murdered (usually from a gunshot wound, but at least one respondent indicated that the decedent died as a result of a stabbing wound). 11.9% (N ­ = 26) knew someone who had died by suicide. 18.3% (N ­ = 40) knew someone who had died from a cardiovascular condition. 39% (N ­ = 85) knew someone who had died from an unspecified known condition that was not cancer. 15.1% (N ­ = 33) of the respondents knew someone who died from an unknown cause.

Results and Findings Again, of the 28 small-stakes writing assignments for the course, only two assignments explicitly involved religion. Of the remaining 26 assignments, eight of the assignments contained religious elements in the student responses without any prompting. I eliminated one of the assignments from the sample as there was some overlap with another assignment. In the sections below, the ten areas in which students mention religion is highlighted. Student responses are presented below, in italics. The students’ written posts were edited for spelling and grammar in some cases.

44  Anticipating Death What Is Death? At least 32 students mentioned religion in their response to the questions “What is death?” and “What does death mean to you?” The assignment required students to address what they thought “death” was. Generic responses along the lines of “death is the end of life” was discouraged. The assignment prompt also underscored that the former question was not a philosophical question, nor was it a metaphorical or metaphysical question. Students were expected to answer the former question as though death were an objective fact/reality. In other words, how did they know someone was dead as opposed to alive? Students were cautioned not to confuse the second question (“What does death mean to you?”) with the first question (“What is death?”). At least one student referred to childhood recollections of what death meant in religious terms: When I was eight years old, my grandmother died. When I asked why she died, I was told that God was collecting his angels. It made sense to me then. Unfortunately, over the course of the next three years, someone that I loved died. After this I began to feel like death was a [formal] robbery; it stole the most coveted thing to a person. Many students provided their religion’s interpretation of what happens after death. Overwhelmingly, their religions emphasized life after death, the “next life,” and eternal life thereafter, as illustrated below: According to the Christian faith, man, created in the image of God, keeps the dignity of this image until death, after which, associated with the Paschal mystery of Jesus Christ, it’s transformed into a new creation. Therefore, for Christians, death is the passage to eternal life. To me, death is the end of one’s time on earth. However, for me, death does not determine the end of someone all together. Because of what I believe in and my religion, I believe that there’s life after death. I believe that there’s a place for each of us after we leave this world. My personal views on death have to do with how I was raised. Being a Catholic, at a young age you are dictated that death means entering into the gates of heaven and being one with Jesus. From that standpoint and my understand[ing], I have always considered death to be entrance to eternal life with your loved ones that have passed on before us. I believe death sometimes is seen sometimes as a reincarnation through spirits and animals. Death, for the most part, has a lot of religious ties to it. For me, that is the case for what death means to me. It means that you flee from this life and move onto the next life. Death is not an end but merely a transition.

Anticipating Death  45 To me, death is something that no one can escape. As a Christian, I see death as something that gives me the opportunity to meet my savior in another life. Also, I see death as something that people will never get used to. I believe that physical life is a gift from God and life come out of death. I know that death brings grief to those who have lost their loved one. It does affect me sometimes when I think of not seeing a loved one in this physical world. However, when I remember that I will see them again in the afterlife, it brings me comfort. Death, physically speaking, is the end of consciousness and biological functions as we know them. As a Christian person, death to me means the beginning of our eternal life. A life that is different than what we know today and maybe an opportunity to truly enjoy ourselves without the worries of studying, physical needs, working and all the things that worry us as humans. In some of the responses that mentioned an afterlife, the concept of heaven and hell was made clear in the students’ religious indoctrination: As a child, I was taught that death is the end of one life but the beginning of the new one. My mother would say when one soul dies, another life is born. Growing up Catholic, I was taught that when one died, the soul would go searching for its “new home” (heaven, purgatory or hell). Now as an adult, I see death as an inevitable and emotionally painful event. Death to me means nothing. I am Catholic and believe there is a heaven or hell but I also believe in reincarnation. I also believe death is empty, it’s an eternal life of sleep. Once you die, your body just goes to rest until a path is made for you. Death means a lot of different things to me, but at the same time it means nothing at all. By this, I mean that I think about death in so many scenarios in my life and I feel that I have so many questions surrounding it. At the same time, I also do everything I can to avoid thinking or talking about it, because it scares me. I’m hoping this class can help me look at the facts and think more about it, so I can answer my questions and be less scared. Death is also spiritual to me since I am a Christian. While I respect all beliefs and opinions about afterlife, I personally believe I could go to Heaven when I die. This doesn’t decrease my fear of dying much though. I also lost many people that were close to me from cancer, which adds to my fear of death from both watching them die and knowing cancer runs heavily in my family. For some students, religion provided some degree of comfort and meaning in that death did not signify an ultimate end. In some cases, death represented a “return.” These students further were comforted in that their religion stressed death as peaceful and blissful for the most part. For other

46  Anticipating Death students, their religion interpreted death as returning “home.” Home, thus, because a permanent refuge from the chaos and despair of worldly life. For me, though, death is a natural part of life, and I try to accept it (I can’t really do anything to change it, so I have to just accept it, I guess). I hope to live to old age. I try not to fear it. I also find that faith helps me, to believe there is a God, and that life/death is not just some big, cosmic, meaninglessness. To me, death is more about life than it’s about pain or the experiences of learning to let go of things that [are] worth holding on it. It’s about religion, faith, spirituality, and the possibility of the great unknown, and what it holds for everyone. For me, it means hopefully being at peace and surrounded in heavenly bliss that allows my spirit to come back stronger to guide the next souls. Death is the clear distinction between being dead with a lively soul but living with a dying spirit. Being a person with a religious background, death has been a subject I have never felt uncomfortable to talk about. I grew up in the Christian faith, so death means more to us than just dying. To me, death means beginning eternal life and leaving this worldly shell and body and being called home. To me, death is complicated and conflicting. At times, I see death as a natural part of life, and it is comforting in a sense to know that a person is no longer suffering. As a woman of faith, I find peace in knowing that a loved one and fellow believer is “going home.” At other times, death means painful goodbyes and emotional discomfort. For some students, religion provided hope and faith in that their God would guide them in death. Some students took comfort in that death was something beyond their control; it was something that their God “allowed” to happen, on his own time. To be honest, I always think about death, especially now. But to be frank, I don’t feel scared of it. I know it is coming and when the time comes I am not sure what will be my reaction, but it does not scare me. I think because of the hope and faith that I have in God, it strengthens me in a way that makes me believe that I have power over death. I think I think about death because I know that when death comes, I will not be able to escape it unless God allowed it to happen and I also know that it is my portal to the eternal life. I believe religion and death are complex with one another. It’s on God’s timing, not ours. I also believe we are reborn after we die. We all have our own ways, traditions, views, [and] ideas [about] “What does death means to us?” I believe once we die, we are taken to an afterlife and my beliefs are based on my religion and spirituality. Death can bring intense

Anticipating Death  47 fear, depending on the situation, and bring a lot of fear into my heart. I think understanding death means really understanding life, and I believe our soul continues to live. While students in this sample primarily focused on Catholic or Protestant belief systems, at least one student focused on a non- Christian faith. Explaining death’s meaning, this student stated: I ascribe to the religion of Buddhism and believe in a common Buddhist view of death. This view is that life is like a wave. You can see a wave. You can measure its height and observe how the light refracts through it. It’s there. You can see it. You know what a wave is. You know what life is. And then it crashes into the shore, and the wave is gone. However, the water is still there, even after the wave has disappeared. The wave was just another way for the water to be for a little while. The wave has returned to the ocean. It has returned to where it came from. It has returned to where it is supposed to be…Metaphors aside, I believe that when life ends, you return to the universe. You disappear, just like the wave. You came from the universe, and when you die you go back to where you come from. This also relates to the Law of the Conservation of Mass: Matter cannot be created nor destroyed. The matter that makes up your body and soul come from the universe and later returns there. Therefore, I do not think that there is an afterlife; rather, death is a peaceful end to a life consisting of suffering (a Buddhist concept). Other students deviated somewhat from their religious teachings when it came to death: Though I am religious and believe our souls travel to heaven, I still see death as the end of life. The life is over, the body is done, and though memories live on, and souls travel on, the life as we know it is finished. Death, to me, is the only definitive end. I was raised Catholic, but fell away from religion at a young age, so my relationship with afterlife and death is a little complicated. I cannot say I really believe in an afterlife anymore. Spiritually, I know the only thing we are guaranteed is this one life, so I suppose the idea of an “end” adds meaning to life for me, or at least a motivation to find meaning. It was evident that some students were conflicted with certain religious teachings, and they struggled to make sense of their religion’s interpretation of death, particularly with respect to the afterlife. Some students expressed skepticism, as indicated by the following: To me, death is an inevitable ending. I don’t believe it is the end all be all, but I know it is an ending to this life and this dimension. The scariest

48  Anticipating Death part about death for me is not knowing what is next. I was born into the Catholic religion, but I do not actively practice at the moment. I do, however, believe that there is something more than this existence on earth, and a dimension that we pass to after death or when death occurs. Because I have no proof of this, death is a fearful event for me, and [that is] difficult to cope with while I am here “ living.” My faith, unfortunately, has not brought me to that part of acceptance where I feel that death is actually okay, but I am working on it. To me death is final. Although I was raised to believe in the concept of heaven and hell, as an adult religion is not particularly important to me so I question this concept and the notion of any afterlife. There is a comfort in believing that although our life on earth may be over, we continue to exist on another plane and will be reunited with our loved ones who died before us. Perhaps as my own death grows closer, I may start to believe this as a way of offering comfort to myself and reassuring others. Death is a wide variety of things, based upon a single person’s views, upbringing, religion, etc. Some believe that death is just the end to a whole new beginning, such as reincarnation. Some others believe that all things just end and that is it. While I was raised in a Catholic family and went to church every Sunday, I was taught to believe that there is a God and heaven, which we return to once we die. However, the older I become the more I am unsure as to what happens when we die. This question took a bit of time to actually think about. I have been brought up to believe that death means eternal life in happiness. I was raised Catholic and told that when one dies they enter heaven for all eternity. Heaven is a beautiful place where only happiness and your favorite things exist. It is here that you are reunited with all of your loved ones from earth. While I do believe that when we die there is an afterlife, I struggle seeing what that is as I am here on earth and unable to fully wrap my head around a place like heaven. Overall I was taught that death is the beginning of something better and eternal, not an end. I have always had a leaning [toward] the thought that once you die, it’s a fade-to- black scenario: The body shuts down, then one experiences absolute eternal nothingness. I know this is a really pessimistic viewpoint, but for some reason it seems the most logical to me. I have never been a huge proponent of ideas like reincarnation, heavenly journeys after passing, and more spiritual based things of that nature. I also feel one’s religion plays a huge role in how they interpret death. I was raised Catholic and went through the confirmation process as a child. These teachings and lessons never really ever resonated with me though. As a result of this, as the years have advanced, I’ve become essentially non-practicing in any religious

Anticipating Death  49 capacity. I’m sure this has absolutely shaped much of my mindset. Death to me essentially means a finite closure and rest. It doesn’t have to always be viewed in a negative light. Sometimes closure and finality at the right time can be a healthy and liberating experience. Since none of this [can] be quantified, we are all unfortunately stuck in the same speculative boat no matter what opinion we hold. I was raised Catholic, and the meaning of death was given to me from the faith. I could not change the meaning of the word myself for a long time. The church taught me that death was, in fact, a continuation of life and it was eternal life. In my personal philosophies of death, I see the concept more as nothing and possibly something. I am skeptical about the afterlife and what is to come. These two concepts from the book are personal battles I struggle with when coping with death. Additionally, I hold a deeper meaning to death personally. From my faith and my personal beliefs, I think death occurs because everything happens for a reason. I believe the deserving family winning the lottery, spilling coffee on your shirt, and going through a break-up happen for a reason. The reason? I have no idea why these things occur. Similarly, I know death happens for a reason, but I do not know why. Other students identified as being not particularly religious, but their responses still contained some religious elements that centered on the afterlife. Death is a natural experience that everyone faces. I am spiritual therefore I believe when someone passes, their soul leaves the body. While I am spiritual, I am not very religious, so part of me believes there is a heaven, but I would like to believe there is not a hell. My views on death take on many forms and are similar to some cultural and religious beliefs we see in the United States. I am not a very religious person, but that’s mostly what I see death as. I believe that when someone passes, they are sent to another form of life such as heaven or they are even reborn into something else. I think death is like turning off a computer, with the brain being the computer in this analogy. The brain stops, and that will be the end of my life. Sometimes I like to think about the afterlife and reincarnation as possibilities, but if asked to give a firm answer, I will say that your consciousness and soul just stop existing once you die. Other students who identified as non-religious provided interpretations of how they think religious believers interpreted death: Death to me is scary, but it is inevitable. A part of me believes that when you die, that is it; you are just gone. However, another part of me wants

50  Anticipating Death to believe that there is an afterlife, like your spirit or energy is still around and you can “watch” over loved ones. I am not a religious person, so I feel as though I see death differently than those who are religious. Those who practice religion tend to find some sort of comfort with death because they believe that their spirit will be taken care of by a God. In a way, I sort of envy their acceptance and comfort with death because I feel that there may be no light at the end of the tunnel. Death Fears One assignment in the course asked about what specifically students feared about death. Religion appeared in 31 responses. As expected, the most common fear was what might happen in the afterlife. For some respondents, whether or not there was an afterlife was a concern. That is, they feared the unknown and unproven aftermath of death. Even religious believers were unsure of whether or not an afterlife existed for certainty, as indicated in the following student comments: What troubles me about death is the unknown. This consists of spirituality, [and includes] wondering what will happen when I die. I am a religious person, but there is always an ounce of doubt when it comes to [the] final days. Another trouble that I have is wondering when and how I will die, and if there will there be pain and will that pain follow me to the afterlife. I feel it is common for people to fear the unknown after death. As a religious person, I believe in heaven and hell, but I do understand a nonreligious person’s worries [about] the afterlife. I feel everyone hopes there is an afterlife because most don’t want death to be just it. As for religion, it’s pretty tough to put your belief in what a book says the afterlife is like. Most people, as you do, go with the [idea], “I won’t know until I go.” I am aware of what happens when a person is dying and that doesn’t scare me. My death anxiety is more [over] what will actually be the cause of my death and on the religious aspect of it— the fear of what happens to me after I die. Not knowing what happens after death really bothers me. It’s just weird that we completely cease to exist and with all the religions we have, everyone has different beliefs as to what happens to us when we die. I just would like to know if there’s an afterlife or is it just black? We obviously won’t ever know until it happens! I fear death mainly because I am unsure what to expect when I die. I’ve never been particularly religious, but I’d like to believe that there is some

Anticipating Death  51 sort of afterlife. However, I can never be truly sure, until the time comes for me to die. I am a Christian, so I live with confidence that instead of the end, death will be a beginning for me. I live more in fear of how I will die and the death of my loved ones and how that will affect my life here on earth. I realize that this is entirely selfish, but I just cannot imagine what I would do if one of my little brothers were to die, or one of my closest friends. I also fear physical pain and always say that I would prefer to die in my sleep. The “not knowing” about death is what plagues me and most people, I would guess. We are creature of curiosity who thrive off of knowledge, and death is one of the many things (though arguably the most important) that we as humans have yet to agree upon. Growing up Christian, I have long been told that when I die, if I believe in God and Jesus Christ, I will go to heaven. Only in the past couple years have I accepted this to be true. I am not, however, lacking in curiosity over the beliefs of others and where these beliefs stem. I know that I will go to heaven, but no matter who I talk to, or how often I read the Bible, I will never be able to know for sure how this will happen, when it will happen, how it will feel, etc. Death is something that no one knows about how it ends. I would like to think that there is an afterlife like heaven or some other spiritual world, yet at the same time, the realist part of me thinks just nothing occurs after death and it all goes black. The most troubling aspect of death that affects me the most is the thought of absolute darkness. In my first post, I discussed that while I am not a highly religious person, I still believe in someone going to heaven or even being reborn into something else when they pass. As much as I tell myself that that’s what happens, sometimes I convince myself otherwise. It troubles me to imagine just darkness, blank, nothing at all. Will you be able to tell you are in the dark or does your entire soul just completely disappear? I feel as if it would be suffocating or feeling like you are stuck. It’s a very scary thought that I try to get rid of. I am very afraid of death, but I also know it isn’t something I should dwell on every single day. Based on my religion, I should fear death less based on my belief of the afterlife. While this may apply to me, I also fear mostly the unknown of when I will die. Along with that, I fear I will not fulfill my hopes and dreams before my death day comes. For some students, rather than providing comfort, religion exacerbated death anxiety for respondents whose religion emphasized the possibility of eternal punishment or eternal purgatory (hell). This is illustrated in the following comment:

52  Anticipating Death On a scale of 1–10, my fear of death is a 10. There is nothing that I fear more than death. I think I mostly fear it because I went to a religious school for most of my life and [heard] basically everyday that if I don’t believe in God that I’d go to hell when I die. Even though I don’t really believe in all that religious stuff now, as an adult the fear is just still there from all the years that it built up. Some students expressed concerns that some of their own choices and behaviors may destine them for hell. When I fear death, it would be because I doubted my faith at times, leading me to go to hell instead of heaven. I am troubled by the idea that I may not be completely acceptable to get into heaven based on the ideas that surround my religion. I would like to say that I am confident in myself and the way that I live, but I have been to certain churches that have taught that the things I choose to do in my life are unacceptable and would not grant me access to a good afterlife. This scares me quite a bit because I know that I should be satisfied with the way that I live, but I feel guilty for some of the choices that I [have made]. [S]peaking as someone who is openly gay, I have a very hard time (on occasion) when I think about lot of religious doctrine regarding homosexuality. It’s not a constant fear, but I will say that the potential of going to hell is something that has caused me anxiety in the past, especially before I entered college. Is death a punishment for something you do that is trespassing against another? I believe in the Roman Catholic faith and practice weekly. But does God have some lesson that he is trying to teach me or condemn me for my wrongdoing?…Another thing that specifically troubles me about death is the lack of knowledge about the afterlife. There are courses on studying it further, and I wonder whether it involves the cosmos, planets, outer space or the center of the earth (heavens or hells). Who is to say how we live our life is either good or bad? God maybe, but no one else…. I believe that we are all doing the best we can with what resources and qualities we were given in our environment and what we were blessed with genetically. I think that I have lived a good life thus far. Although I have not [have] commit[ted] major sins, have made minor mistakes along the way. Many of them I have learned from, but does this warrant God’s and other’s forgiveness? When you are forgiven does your soul goes from black to white again as we learned in first grade Sunday School of the Roman Catholic faith at [specific church in a rural area of a northeastern state] during the 1970s? Or does it have to do with our conscious and freedom of guilt? This is fearful for me as I don’t regularly go to Catholic sacrament of confession and reconciliation, whereby you state what you have done

Anticipating Death  53 wrong or trespassed with another person [the priest] in a closed booth with a screen between you and the priest. He then says a few prayers and asks your forgiveness. This was a very scary event for me, as I was forced to do it in the fourth grade for advancement to fifth grade Sunday school religious programming. I haven’t been since. Instead, I choose to do positive things for people and apologize directly to them if possible if I have crossed them….I haven’t committed any misdemeanors or felonies—[well, ] maybe one traffic ticket and a warning for a headlight out. Then why them am I so fearful of my death? I feel [my fear of death is] because of diligence, consciousness, contentiousness, and guilt instilled by my parents and other significant others in my past. In other words, I need to lighten up a bit and take things in stride more. “What’s going to happen is going to happen” needs to be more of my attitude henceforth. At least one agnostic had some concerns about the afterlife, though the student was more concerned about whether there was existence beyond death. I have never been a big believer in religion, so I am not sure about the heaven and hell aspect of dying. I just hope that there is something that happens after we die, because my own views about death are too scary— to think I am just going to be nothing after a hopefully long life. One student felt that the unfairness of death is what was most troubling, leading her to question religious teachings. When considering what, specifically, about death troubles me, there are a few things that come to mind. The unfairness of death and loss, seemingly good people being taken away from the world is a troubling feeling. Going to church growing up, my faith was mainly tested by this fact of seemingly good people dying premature deaths. It became very difficult to believe that “God has a plan for everyone.” Interestingly, there were some students who did not fear death or the aftermath of death as painted by their religion. In fact, these students place great confidence in their denomination or religious beliefs. I really do not think about death enough to fear it. I am also Christian and go to church every Sunday. I think the faith and religion I practice is the reason I do not fear death. I put any fear I have in God and trust him, which gives me no reason to worry about what happens when I die. I believe it will be taken care of on its own. I do find myself wondering what happens and how it [will] feel, but the religion I follow has taught me to not worry about that because it will be alright. A big fear I have when I do think about death is pain leading up to it or how it will happen. I think [that] without faith, I would fear death a lot more than I do and I would understand it a lot less than I do.

54  Anticipating Death What troubles me about death is that no one knows for certain what to expect. We can only have faith in what our religion teaches us, what science tells us, or our own spiritual research. I choose to listen to my faith because it gives me hope that even when I am not around my loved ones physically, I will be watching them from above. It also troubles me that we do not know how we die, but I am sure if people knew, they would refrain from it, like the story of Sleeping Beauty with the spindle. While parts of death do trouble me, I lean heavily on my faith to counter this fear. I think that people that lack this type of faith/community may have increased death anxiety. I don’t consider myself too fearful of death and I attribute it to my belief system, my faith, [that tells me] that there is an afterlife….I do not fear death because my faith teaches me that when we die on earth after having lived a life full of grace of God and service to Him, we enter an eternal life in heaven. I, in fact, look forward to that day. I am not very fearful of death because I was raised with a very spiritual background. I am not Christian nor Catholic, but I was raised to believe that when people pass on, they watch over you. [This] is a calming feeling, especially when I think about my brother. I think about if I were to die, I could protect him. Also, I don’t fear death that much because I see death as something that relieves people of stress and struggle. These different views I carry help relieve me of any fear. Other students were able to rationalize away the death fears stemming from religious teachings. These students did not appear to be fearful of death, with some placing their trust and faith in their God. Other students simply viewed death with a hopeful expectation. I am holding onto the idea that if God is truly just, he would not send me to hell. In contrast, if I do happen to go to hell, I am not worried at all as I am sure I will find lots of friends and it could even be fun. We all know what a jokester the devil is! I mean you could lose your soul? In that sense, I look forward to meeting death. However, I fear that in the end my life will only be reduced to ashes. That there is nothing left. One just simply ceases to exist. So many people, including myself, associate the afterlife with peace because of my religion, but it’s interesting that people of the very same religion could rationalize it in a very different and anxious way. Then it becomes more about making sure your life on this plane is well lived, moral, and in ordinance with the divine, and at least that we can control. I luckily have death-positive religious beliefs, so the afterlife does not stress me out or give me any anxiety. I know where I’ll be, who I’m under

Anticipating Death  55 the guidance of, and what I’ll be doing in the afterlife, and that is hugely comforting. I also think my innate optimism helps lessen my fear of death. The way I rationalize our death is by thinking of how our souls are a form of energy and when we die it is transferred out of the physical realm. I am religious as well and look to the teachings to provide hope and dispel the doubts of heaven’s existence. There are many different doubts death brings into my life, which is the most troubling aspect of death for me. Questioning my religion/faith, my character, everything that makes me, because I am scared…doesn’t serve the great unknown. I do not fear death because I have confidence in my religion and that if I am blessed enough to go to heaven and be with my loved ones, then I can’t be that scared. The Moment of Death One assignment asked students what they thought happened at the exact moment of death. The assignment further inquired: Will life fade to dark? Will you go on a journey? What do you think you actually will experience at the moment of death? In this discussion board assignment, explain what you think a dying person feels and experiences at the exact moment of death. The assignment instructions emphasized that the central question posed focused not on what happens after death, nor what students hoped might happen at the moment of death. Rather, the assignment asked what students thought actually would happen at the exact moment of death (and not after). A total of 14 responses contained religious elements and one response was more spiritual-focused than religious-focused. Five responses with religious elements were eliminated, as the four student respondents focused on not the exact moment of death but what they thought or hoped would happen after death, in spite of the instructions cautioning them not to do so. Thus, there were ten usable responses. In all, ten responses in which religion (or else spirituality) was evident, an afterlife was certain. Two respondents felt that at the precise moment of death, the physical life fades into darkness and there is a journey. During the time of death, I think that life fades into darkness. There is a journey of you seeing your past family members and or even a heaven or hell. At that exact moment, our spirit takes a journey of the good and or bad decisions we’ve done within our lifetime. And possibly seeing a light if you’ve been chosen by God. As well as if you’ve been suffering or in pain, all that pain will go away and you may feel at peace. This is what I believe happens in the exact moment of death.

56  Anticipating Death I think at the exact moment of death, your vision completely fades to black, and while your organs slowly finish shutting down, your brain interprets the experience as peaceful and relieving sensation. It’s hard to tell if this could be true because anyone that has completely died is unable to provide feedback, but I think that in the cases that people are revived, they often experience a sort of light and sometimes spiritual way of fading out. I believe that my spirit will continue the journey of my energy in the world and even though I will not physically be here, I will be in the presence of my loved ones through my spiritual being. What I think will happen at the moment of death is that something in your body lets you know you are dying. Then I think something happens in the brain to make you less conscious to regulate your body so you don’t freak out. Once your body is successfully regulated, I believe something—I don’t want to say a spirit or a ghost, so I will say “something” takes your higher self/consciousness and you watch every memory you had had from some other important perspective. Finally, once this is completed you move into the “afterlife steps.” Another respondent felt that a physical life transition would occur that did not involve the physical life fading to blackness. Instead, the transition was less obvious. When I die, my spirit will go to be Jesus in heaven. My body will rest and join my spirit when the Lord descends from heaven to retrieve his people (1 Thessalonians 4:16). I do not believe life will fade to dark, but rather my earthly life will fade to eternal life, in a greater paradise than any human could ever imagine. I have no idea what heaven will look like, beyond the descriptions in the Bible, but I know that is where I will go. With God I will no longer experience pain, sadness, or anger; I will feel nothing but peace, happiness, and the glory of God. My answer is brief because, to me, it is simple. The rest of my life ahead is uncertain, but what will happen after my heart stops beating is not in question. One student, though, predicted that life would face into darkness for a dying person before that person transitions to an afterlife. Death is a mystery to all of us, but what I’m thinking is that right after death, the human being is no longer aware of its surrounding. I’m imagining that everything in fact will fade to dark for the deceased right at that moment. I thought about closing my eyes for two minutes and focusing just on that, without thinking what is around me, even though I can picture what’s here and there. In deep concentration with my eyes closed, all I see is darkness, so I’m thinking it’s probably like that after death too. The only difference is that the dead person will never wake up again….I imagine when I’m dead, after burial, there will be perhaps angels sent from God to talk to me, [though] I honestly don’t know how to describe this. I am thinking I will be looking over

Anticipating Death  57 my loved ones…..I lost my mother 7 years ago, and sometimes I do wonder: Where is she now? What is she doing? Can she see me?….I was raised and brought up to learn and to believe that there is an afterlife. In Islam, it’s said that death is the beginning of one’s journey to the afterlife. As the soul departs the body, the person will stare at it and his eyes will follow it, described in the Quran. My soul will be still alive and I hope resting in paradise. Another respondent felt that a dying person experiences euphoria before embarking on a journey. At the time of death I think there is a rush of chemicals and therefore I will feel euphoric. This is what I have heard from many other people. I do not think life will fade to dark. I believe my mind, soul, and spirit rise to heaven. I will go on a journey to heaven. I think I will experience a rush of memories from when I was living, and as I rise I will see God. This will be the start of my life in heaven. One student felt that a dying person loses sensation, including the sensation of pain, and a guardian or guide in the form of angels would be present at the moment of death. Being a religious person, I do believe that at the moment of death, I would see angels in the room or wherever I am when facing death. I find comfort in believing that there is a place we go after we die, but I haven’t given much thought to what may happen at the moment you are dying. I think there could be a possibility that we see a bright white light when we are dying. I don’t think life will fade to dark because it may just be a transition from one life to another. I think I will be going on a journey to a new life that I believe I will be in Heaven for. I haven’t thought about what heaven might be like, but I think it is exactly what it sounds like. At the moment of death itself, what I think will actually happen is that if you are experiencing pain, that will slip away and you won’t feel pain anymore. I think death would feel like you are unable to prevent yourself from falling into a deep sleep. It is true that not everyone passes away with their eyes closed, but I think the concept of feeling could be the same. Furthermore, I think at the moment of death, all pain will subside and you will feel at peace with dying. One respondent felt that at the moment of death, life would flash before our eyes. Thereafter, at least one guide would be present to lead the deceased into the final resting place, though the respondent was unsure what form that guide would take. I believe that when we die, the “ life flashing before our eyes” occurs. I believe that we see all our mistakes, accomplishments, and realize what our true purpose was. Then I believe that a person familiar to us (dead or alive) takes us to our final resting place. I think that person who is familiar

58  Anticipating Death is actually god or whoever the person passing believes in, but I don’t believe “god” has a form or physical appearance. But I believe all the answers are given when we die and death is peaceful. I don’t feel that even in painful instances that death is horrible, only for the living. In a variation of the “life flashing before our eyes” theme, another respondent felt that at the moment of death, the dying person would reflect over his or her earthly existence. I think that during the moment of death, when I am making that transition from daily interactions with people that I know and my loved ones to being [part of] a spirit world based on my religion, I think that I would be put to reflect over what I was like in my previous life on earth. In a way, I think that even though I would be dead, I would still be stressing over the idea of whether I was going to go heaven or hell. For all I know, during my moment of death I might find myself waking up in a white room in court going over what my past deeds like I was watching a replay of my life….I hope that when I die I am surrounded by my family. I hope that when my eyes close, I am able to go to heaven and be with God. I hope that when I arrive there, if you will, I will be able to answer for all of my sins and be rewarded for everything that I have ever done that was good. The only thing I ask is that I am able to watch over my children and family and be able to help guide their decision making and watch out for them in dangerous situations. I hope that I will live in heaven and do whatever is needed of me to be able to rejoin my family when the moment comes. Finally, one respondent felt that darkness comes upon death, after which the decedent faces God for judgment. However, it appears that this student also believes that the dying person’s life will flash before their eyes before they experience darkness and eternal judgment. As I have stated before I do believe in [life] after death. I think my body will be dead; however, my spirit will have arisen and I will be face-to-face with God and the Book of Judgement. I do not know if I have been a true Christian. God can be the judge of that. Therefore, I think life will be dark for a while. We are in an eternal sleep until God returns to earth to claim his people, and those that will go to hell will directly go there. If I die, I would like to die sleeping and of old age. However, I do not think I will fear death, but I would be very sad to know that my children will have pain for a while. I think when a person dies, their life flashes for them. Last Rites: The Imaginary Funeral Students were asked to describe their imaginary funeral, which includes their preference for the disposition of the body, funeral location, and any

Anticipating Death  59 rituals associated with the ceremony. Students also were asked to consider their tombstone script and the content of their obituary. Religious elements were common in the responses for this assignment. Common were preferences for religious funeral services over secular ones, with a preference for clergy presiding over funeral services. The religious rituals with which many students grew up continued to resonate with many students, even if they acknowledged personally becoming less religious over time. At least 27 students who grew up in a particular denomination or congregation appeared to desire religious elements in their funeral services. The following comments illustrate such a trend: I would want a priest to do some of the service to respect my Catholic religion. I want it to be a religious ceremony. I had a Catholic upbringing and although I don’t closely follow the religion anymore, this is important to me. I prefer religious prayers for nine days. The service would take place at a church most likely run by the priest I have known the best during the times I attended a mass. He always makes me smile and is all around an amazing man. Therefore, I would be honored to have him at my funeral for my final moments. I would prefer to have my funeral held in a church because I feel that religion is very important during death. I would also choose to then have a short ceremony at the graveside before I am buried, for those who do not have the same religious beliefs and do not prefer the religious church ceremony….I would like my ceremony to be religious because I have always carried my Christian beliefs with me throughout my life, but I also feel that religion is extremely important for people in the time of death or the times close to death. I imagine a classic Catholic funeral. I would like to have a mass inside a church and a burial at a cemetery where the rest of my family is buried. Who should run your funeral service? Likely a rabbi, or any faithful person I resonated with. I want the ceremony to be religious and let the biblical verses help soothe their grief through this unfortunate time. Upon my death I would want my loved ones to respect and observe Jewish law and tradition. I am more spiritual than religious, but I am Jewish and both my parents were as well and practiced Judaism at home and with relatives. Out of respect for my family and being an only child, I would choose

60  Anticipating Death interred, not embalmed, as Jewish people do not believe in embalming the body. When a Jew dies, the body is prepared for burial by washing the body physically, a ritual washing through the pouring of water over the body, dressing the body in plain white clothing and then placing the body into the casket….Part of the tradition is to avoid embalming, where returning the body to earth should be as naturally as possible. Usually, Jewish people are buried in 24 hours unless it’s impossible, as with out- of-state family, etc. Also, tradition is also to avoid autopsies if possible, but, in the case of organ donation, it’s acceptable. Blood and other body parts are saved and returned along with the body. I am an organ donor and I would expect my loved ones to respect my wishes as well….I did not choose any other methods as in cremation as it’s a very personal decision and I’m not comfortable with it at all. Although cremation is much less expensive and has its benefits as more environmentally friendly and no land is disturbed, the Jewish law believes that people who have died must be buried on land and return their bodies to the ground, to their creator, as it was given to them. [My funeral] will be religious with prayers. Though I am not the most devoted follower and struggle with routine mass attendance, for anything big it really matters to me. I very much want the traditional Catholic funeral mass…[with a] Catholic priest [present]….I would like one of my readings to be “1 Corinthians 13:4– 8: Love is patient, love is kind,” and one of the songs to be “Amazing Grace.” I want to have my body present at the wake and funeral because of my faith. I believe the soul leaves the body after the mass and symbolically becomes one with God. The reason why I want to cremate my body is that I do not want to take up a lot of space in a cemetery. I would want my ashes to be buried in a cemetery with a tombstone, but due to the lack of space in our local cemeteries, I would not want to take up a lot of space. I want a religious ceremony. I want people to be singing and glorif[ying] God. I would want the ceremony to be religious. Growing up in a Christian home, I want to have a funeral that speaks to the beliefs that I have while honoring what I believe as well. I also know that it is what my family would want and I want to make them happy as well. Because I want my funeral to be held in a religious sanctuary, I would like it to incorporate some of the beliefs of the Catholic faith in terms of God and heaven, and include a few simple meaningful readings from the Bible about love and eternal life. However, my preference would be for it to be less traditional and more modern with thoughts and kind words from those

Anticipating Death  61 who knew me best, and an array of beautiful music throughout the service. I would want a modern day (versus traditional) priest or pastor to run my service, but I would prefer that any and all of my loved ones that wanted to take part in the service by speaking or playing music to be involved. At my funeral I would like a few short verses from the Bible to be read regarding love and eternal life. I would also like a lot of beautiful music to be played, both with and without lyrics. It would be lovely to have a piano player or choir present at the service to provide the music. I would prefer my funeral to be held at [a specific Catholic church] in [the student’s hometown]. I chose this location because I spent my childhood growing up [here] and I remember as a child going to this extravagant church with my family. However, I’ve never really considered myself a religious person, but I just remember my parents taking us to this church and it was so beautiful and I can remember all the stained glass and wall murals catching my wondering eye, which made me fall in love with this church. Most importantly, I would want my funeral here because this is a place that I came with my family and mother, who’s deceased. Going back there for my funeral would be meaningful to me….I would want the ceremony to be religious to an extent, and what I mean by this is that I’d be having my funeral at a Catholic church and a priest would be leading my funeral service. Even though I don’t fully consider myself a very religious person now, this is the religion I grew up knowing and I’d feel comfortable knowing that when I do die I’ll be at the same church I used to go when I was younger with my parents and family….If my funeral was to be held at [this church], a priest would be the one who would run the funeral services. I know this sounds weird, but this is one of the most important parts to me about my funeral. I want songs like “On Eagle’s Wings” and “Shepherd Me, O God.” I also want a cantor and a choir at the service. I would want a Buddhist monk to run the funeral service. While I am not religious, I do find that Buddhism is the religion I most identify with. I think a Buddhist monk would be able to bring the right vibe to my funeral. [The assignment question “Why did you not choose the other means for disposal of your body?”] is tricky for me because I go back and forth on about donating my organs or just being buried with them after being embalmed. I think that I fear that in the afterlife, what happens if I got rid of all my organs, etc., but then the medical person that I am thinks about science and people in need. After going back and forth I think that I would want my family to give my brain to be donate to science and my organs that are good to people that are in need. The reason why I wouldn’t want to be

62  Anticipating Death cremated is that whole process was not something that I was brought up with in a Catholic home and it just doesn’t appeal to me to be on someone’s shelf. I would want a religious funeral (Christian) with a pastor. I would like my body to be dressed in a beautiful handmade gown with flowers in my hair and in the casket, as per the traditions of my religion. As I am part of a nature- centric religion, I would prefer my funeral to be held outside with many, many flowers. I would like music that I enjoyed in my life that have meaning to me, but I would also like the prayers that are told at everyone in my family’s funeral, which is an Irish prayer that starts with, “May the road rise to meet you, may the wind be always at your back, may the sun shine warm upon your face, and rains fall soft upon your fields, and until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of his hand.” The reason is because, yes, I’m not religious, but the prayer is said at every Irish funeral and I would like to keep the tradition going. I’m not extremely religious but I would still like a religious ceremony because I do have faith. I come from a Catholic family. Twelve (12) students wanted a primarily religious funeral, though tempered the religious elements. There also were some students who wanted some religious elements but did not want their funeral service to be entirely religious. The following responses illustrate such trends: I would want the ceremony to be semi-religious. I say “semi” because I am a religious person with my own beliefs and would like that to be represented somehow. Other than that, I would like just close family and friends speaking on my behalf. [I want my funeral service to be] somewhat religious (I just want to be blessed before being buried). I am Christian and would want to incorporate my religion into the ceremony as that is really important to me in my living life. At the same time, I wouldn’t want it to only be about that and I want it to mainly be a celebration of my life. [I want my funeral services] in a church. I am not the most spiritual person out there, but I do believe in God and would like to be close to a spiritual presence before I go to my final resting place…[The funeral service should be] secular…As stated before, I am not a religious person. I am a Catholic, but I am not invested in my religion. Therefore, I

Anticipating Death  63 would want a funeral that did not rely on religious practices as much as it did [growing up]. I’d want the ceremony to be semi-religious, not because I am religious, but I know my mom would be upset otherwise. So even in my fake funeral, I still would want to please my mom….Since the ceremony would be semireligious, I’d have to get a bilingual priest to run my funeral service. The priest would have to speak both languages because I wouldn’t want anyone feeling left out during it. I would want my ceremony to be secular. Religion has never been a huge part of my family’s life, so I would not want religion to be a huge part of my funeral ceremony….At my funeral, I have a preference for music, readings, and prayers. I would want my favorite music being played in the background. The readings that I would like to be read are Psalm 23:4 and an Irish blessing. At my funeral, I have a preference for music and readings. Although I wouldn’t want a religious funeral, I would want people to have space and time to say their own prayers. I wouldn’t want to restrict people to not express their grief how they see fit….I prefer to have the funeral held at a funeral home/crematorium, but later brought to a church to appease my religious background and continue my mother’s strong, Catholic beliefs….I want the ceremony to be religious because my mother and family are very religious people. I, myself, am not a strictly religious person, but I love my family and have gone through the sacraments of the Catholic religion, so I will allow my mother the ability to bury me in a religious fashion….Following in the religious fashion, my funeral service will be run by a priest. I was baptized and confirmed in the Catholic church, and will probably be married by a priest, so one will head my burial. [Al]though I am very religious, I DO NOT want a Catholic funeral. It’s just too sad and scary as the ceremony and the incense is spread around the body. A long, drawn out procession with a touch of coldness to the atmosphere is what I don’t want. I would like the music by John Lennon played at home— “Let It Be” and “Imagine” and maybe the religious song “Come Follow Me.” I want the ceremony to be religious yet not strictly religious. So like traditional but not traditional because I would want upbeat music rather than depressing music. I hope anyone who is willing to speak is given the chance….I would like music and a chance for my loved ones to share memories. I think that a couple spiritual readings would be excellent too, as just like the Catholic funeral mass, I believe these readings could help give my family closure and ways to understand my death. I would have to say that I would want my ceremony to be semi-religious only because I was brought up Catholic and it is in respect of my family.

64  Anticipating Death I wouldn’t want to make the ceremony too long or too religious because I rather keep it uplifting and not so old-school Catholic. When it comes to preferences at my funeral, I really just would want to make sure my family picked out prayers, readings, and music that are symbolic to my life. I also would want at the funeral to be a slide show of happy times with my family, friends, and loved ones to look back on happy thoughts. Music in the church I would really like [include:] “To Where You Are” by Josh Groban, “Be Not Afraid,” “Here I Am Lord,” and “Amazing Grace.” At least five students preferred a minimally religious service or else a completely secular funeral service. Some of these students indicated that while they would want a secular funeral service, they would want a priest to preside over the funeral services. The actual burial service would likely be an intimate event at a cemetery. It would not be heavy in religious tones since I’m not very religious to begin with. I would just essentially like my life to be summarized by a speaker or close family member. This event would not require a priest or any other type of clergy. After that, people can say goodbyes, etc. and move on. It wouldn’t be a long or drawn out affair. I would want the ceremony to be muted but upbeat. No somber religious elements or anything of that nature. It would be casual in the sense that someone of any background, race, or religion would feel at home there…. My funeral service could be run by any non-religious identifying official— possibly someone equivalent to a justice of the peace or someone of that ilk. I would also take no issue with a priest running it as long as they kept the religious narratives at a minimum. I would want the ceremony to be mostly secular, as I personally have no desire for there to be prayer or religious death rites. However, if my family wanted to select a prayer or hymn that made them feel connected to me, I would not object. One student wanted both religious and secular elements at his funeral service. I prefer to have my funeral at a church because I am a Christian. I want my funeral to be religious and secular because the religious aspect of it is because I am a Christian and the secular part is because I want the ceremony to be a little bit joyful. I want the priest to give the religious part because I want to be tied to my religion when I’m being sent off…At my funeral, I want church readings and prayers to be done for me as I get sent

Anticipating Death  65 off to heaven. Also, I want music to be played because I want it to give a lively feeling to the service. One student opted for her last rites to contain spiritual rather than religious elements. Her preference is to blend spirituality with certain cultural practices reflective of her country of origin. She described having a “spiritual party” involving the dropping of a single bay leaf onto her casket once it is lowered into the ground. On each bay leaf is the name and wish of each funeral guest. At least one student appeared open to either a religious or secular funeral service. I suppose I would prefer a secular service only because I did not adhere to one specific religious or spiritual dogma in life, although I know my mother would like a Catholic service. Regardless of whether I die before her or not, it would please me to please her. But, again, no real preference….I would like to have calling hours in a funeral home, where my loved ones can come and visit. I would like to have a funeral mass as well. This mass could happen in a Catholic church or in the funeral home with a priest present, whichever of these two that makes logistical sense for my family. I would then like the family to extend an invitation back to my home to enjoy food, drinks, and comradery. One student prioritized her loved ones’ religious preferences in her own funeral service: Seeing as how my fiancé’s family takes religion seriously (though they are not extremely strict with it, just the celebrations and such), I know that I would most likely have [my funeral service] held in a church. I may not be fully religious myself but I’m more than happy to respect their traditions and would let them handle it as they please. It’s not like I’d be around to dictate how to run my funeral. On the other hand, at least seven (7) students deliberately resisted religious funeral rituals altogether, even if they had a strong religious background. I want my funeral to be secular. I attended Catholic school from kindergarten to 12th grade, but none of my religious education resonated with me. Even though my mother may not like it, I would want a secular ceremony so that people can just focus on the real world. I wish for my ceremony to be secular, in seeing I am not a very religious person now. Over the course of my life, I had studied and followed religion, but I do not regularly attend church or pray to the God of my religion now. Once I became an adult and was allowed to pick my own course of study, I veered off in a different direction. I thank the universe regularly for all

66  Anticipating Death that it has given me, but I do not pray to any specific religion or higher being associated with that religion. Therefore, I think it would be silly or disrespectful to have my ceremony be based on a religion. I have had an uncomfortable relationship with religion during my life and I do not wish my death to be highlighted by the presence of religious doctrine of any kind. If God is truly omnibenevolent, then they will excuse my indiscretion; if the good I have completed in my life is not enough to outweigh this one act, then I do not even wish access to external paradise. I’d prefer to have my funeral held at home. That way, people can feel relaxed and not have to get all dressed up to go to a religious building. If it were at the graveside, I know some people would be feeling anxious like I sometimes do at cemeteries, and I do not want anyone to feel that they have to be in that position to pay their respects. In a funeral home or crematorium, it can be expensive to use the space, which I do not wish to burden any of my family with. At home is the cheapest and most relaxed option. My funeral service should be run by a humanist celebrant, which is someone who believes in science and will not discuss anything religious. They make sure the funeral is personalized to the family instead of religious elements. Graveside or a funeral home so my family wouldn’t fight over hosting at a house or religious things. My extended family hates each other. One half is very Jewish Israelis and the other half is mixed with very Mormon people and people who hate religion. I want everyone to feel comfortable being there and I’m not particularly one religion. I choose secular because I am not a religious person at all and most of my family and friends aren’t religious either. Even though I was born into the Catholic religion, I never personally followed my religion. Two (2) students in the sample expressed a desire for obituaries that highlighted their religious devotion. [Student name], aged (100) passed away in January 2000, in Port- auPrice, Haiti. [Student name] was a devoted Christian, daughter, sister, wife, friend, and a revolutionary who dedicated her life to loving and fighting for others. As an immigrant, she fought to make sure the sky was the impossible limit she reached in everything she did. She passed away in her home, which she built in the late 2030s. [Student] felt very celebrated while she was alive and hope that everyone gets to feel the way she felt living. Her hope is to have her work be continued and her legacy leaves on. She left behind 3 organizations and two businesses. She hopes to be sent home wrapped in love and peace.

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[Student name], age 100, died on Sunday, January 1 in the [congregation’s name] congregation while serving the Lord. From her birth in Boston on 1993 to her death this past Sunday, she gave love to all her family and friends that surrounded her. She gave her life to Christ at the age of 18 and since then has dedicated her life to worshiping God and being at the service of others. Four (4) students in the sample expressed a preference for religious inscriptions on their tombstones. I want my tombstone to have “God’s Grace” on it, my full name (including my nickname), my arrival date, and my departure date. I don’t want it to say “RIP.” I think my gravestone marker would say “He kept on moving.” The reason is that no matter what obstacle God puts in my way, I try to keep on moving forward. I actually thought of this the other day and thought, I’d love it to say, “Daughter of God, wife, mother and daughter.” “She chose to live spiritually, one day at a time.” One student, however, made it known that he did not want any religious references on his tombstone: I would want my graveyard marker to say something such as my full name, birth and death date, and a simple quote such as “Beloved by family, cherished by friends.” I definitely do not want my tombstone to say something like “Here lies a beloved son, brother, dad, uncle, friend, cousin, nephew, grandson etc.” I want the quote on my tombstone to be short and sweet but also have nothing to do with faith.

Notes 1 The use of convenience sampling, however, limits the generalizability of the findings. 2 Source: Power BI data on enrollment trends, May 16, 2022. 3 Source: Power BI data on enrollment trends, accessed June 9, 2022.

References Pew Research Center. 2014a. “Religious Landscape Study: Adults in Massachusetts.” Retrieved August 7, 2021 (https://www.pewforum.org/religious-landscapestudy/state/massachusetts/). Pew Research Center. 2014b. “Religious Landscape Study: Adults in the Boston Metro Area.” Retrieved August 7, 2021 (https://www.pewforum.org/religious-landscapestudy/metro-area/boston-metro-area/).

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Pew Research Center. 2014c. “How Religious Is Your State?: Massachusetts.” Retrieved August 7, 2021 (https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2016/02/29/howreligious-is-your-state/?state=Massachusetts). United States Census Bureau. 2020. “QuickFacts: Salem City, Massachusetts.” Retrieved August 7, 2021 (https://www.census.gov/quickfacts/fact/table/salemcit ymassachusetts/POP010220?).

4

Religion and Tragic Deaths Suicide and Homicide

This chapter highlights the different ways in which students tie in religion with tragic deaths that involve suicide and homicide. The first portion of the chapter focuses on students’ perceptions of whether self-inflicted death is justified. Subsequent sections focus on the events of September 11, 2001, and how the terrorist attacks on New York City on that fateful day shook people’s faith.

Suicide When asked whether suicide is justified, nine (9) respondents included religion in their responses without any prompting. Some of the students stressed how their religion forbade the taking of one’s own life. Is suicide justified? Religiously, no. No, it is never justified. No. In my opinion, suicide can never be justified. Although I respect everyone’s choice, as a Christian I don’t think there could be any reasons for someone to take his/her own life. I believe life belongs to God. He only lends it to us, and he should be the one taking it when he wants. One student was unsure whether suicide was justified because she remained uncertain whether a decedent’s pain will disappear in the afterlife. As she put it: I have mixed thoughts about this. As much as I want to say that suicide is selfish, I don’t think I can bring myself to saying it. I think that if I experience a suicide in my life, I would be grieving more than being angry. It just hurts to see that so many believe that they are not loved and cared for, to the point where they take their own lives. This is something I cannot say because I feel as if the dead would be able to answer this. However, we will never know what happens after someone does commit suicide. Do they not feel their pain and suffering anymore from their life here on earth? Do their bad memories all of a sudden disappear in the afterlife? I would only say suicide can be justified because that individual made their choice. DOI: 10.4324/9781003353249-4

70  Religion and Tragic Deaths: Suicide and Homicide Some students were conflicted between the principles and commands espoused by their religion and the pains and realities of human suffering, as indicated in this comment: [As] a Christian person, my answer would be an absolute no. God gives life and he should be the only one to take it away. As a human being, I think these people are really in pain and they feel desperate enough to go against the natural human fear of getting hurt and take their own life. I have been sad before and gone through bad break- ups and wished to be dead or to just fall asleep and not wake up just so I wouldn’t have to feel so sad, but it never occurred to me to make that happen. So, I cannot justify or not suicide because I do not know what they feel before making that final decision. In spite of what their religion dictates, at least one respondent felt it was not her place to judge. I can understand this decision and although it is against my religion, I feel it is not my place to judge them. Meanwhile, one student felt that God allowed the choice. We are in charge of the directions we take and how we take them. Some may see it as a curse, but God has blessed man with choice. We choose to live or die every day in the daily decisions we make. It may be the choice to speed just to get to work or not, to drink and drive or not, to take care of our health or not and et cetera. Life is meant to be lived. Breathe the fresh air, hear the birds chirp, watch the waves crash, and be kind to others. Students in my death and dying class had additional religious responses to the class assignment that involved a documentary film on suicide. The film actually made me very grateful for my life. When I heard the stories of how miserable and hopeless some of these people were, I just thanked God that I am not in the position. Suicide is a tragic way of ending life. My perception of death remains the same as I have stated before: Death should be respected and even more so when you have the power to inflict it against yourself. I don’t agree with the man in the film [who] suggests, “They should all go to hell.” Who are we to judge? We don’t live inside each other’s head. If this man believes in hell, then he believes in God and God teaches forgiveness….Life has always been precious to me and always will be. Two students pointed out that alternatives to suicide included religious coping strategies.

Religion and Tragic Deaths: Suicide and Homicide  71 Other than death, there are a number of other options available to them. They might be seeking love and support from their friends and families. They might be expecting that people around them understand what they are going through. If I could, I would like to talk to the person who is contemplating suicide. They need love, compassion, support and, most importantly, someone who can hear them out. I would take such a person to a counselor, to churches, to small little children who are some of God’s best gift. A person could contact the national suicide line for support. They could also try reaching out to the people they love most to try to get help. If someone feels like they don’t have anyone that loves them, they could try to find a new family in places like a religious establishment or within their community.

­Homicide—How ​­ 9/11 ­ Shook People’s Faith The events of September 11, 2001 raised important questions about God, the dark side of religion, and the concept of evil residing within religion. PBS’s Frontline documentary film “Faith and Doubt at Ground Zero” (Whitney et al. 2002) focused on how September 11, 2001 shook New Yorkers’ faith in their religion and faith in their God. The film underscored how people’s relationship with their God or their religion changed in the face of a crisis, catastrophe, or tragedy. In some cases, the tragedy deepened people’s religious faith; in other cases, it caused people to question their faith. In still other cases, the sheer trauma of an event causes people to abandon their faith altogether. One assignment in my death and dying class required students to watch the aforementioned film in its entirety. While the college students in the sample were not present in New York City on September 11, 2001 or, in many cases, even born then, watching a film with both live footage and interviews of New Yorkers at the scene and New Yorkers who experienced losses on 9/11 led the student respondents to evaluate their own relationship with religion. After watching the 9/11 documentary in full, students were then required to address a set of general questions, including their general reactions to the film, what they felt was most surprising in the film, and lessons they gleaned from the film. Students also were to answer two additional questions: How does this film change your perception of death and dying? How does this film change your perception of life in general? No questions from the prompt referred to religion specifically, but given the content of the film, it was inevitable that students broached the topic of religion. From the sample of 218 students, 56 students provided an assessment of how religion factored into tragedies, whether personal tragedies or tragedies of 9/11’s magnitude. Patterns in the responses are presented below.

72  Religion and Tragic Deaths: Suicide and Homicide Trust God. Don’t Lose Faith At least six (6) students felt that people should always trust God and not lose faith in times of crises. Some of the students, though, acknowledged that in the face of tragedy, one’s faith may be shaken. Yet, they called out for people to trust God and not lose faith, no matter how dire the situation. This is indicated in the following student narratives: I was fortunate enough to not be directly impacted by losing a loved one on 9/11; yet, I, too, felt the questioning of my faith. As the film had stated, this disaster had those not directly affected by the attack challenging their faith. I was brought up Catholic and taught that God was good and forgiving and controlled all. After this horrible catastrophe, I could not understand how a good God would allow this amount of pain and suffering. As someone said in the beginnings of the interviews [in the film], questions came up such as, “If there is a God, why me and why this? Where am I going?” Many were in a place where they were losing faith, yet some must have had it. As another person in the film pointed out, jumping from the burning building must have taken a lot of courage. There must have been a God giving them courage and faith to jump to escape the pain and suffering that may have come with staying in the building…. I think the biggest lesson this film taught me was not to lose my faith no matter how desperate a situation seems. This was shown to me in the story of Brian and Stanley. Stanley felt as if there were no way out and he was going to be left to perish in the burning building. He yelled out, “Help me, God!” He was then able to create a hole in the wall and a hand came out and pulled him through the hole. Brain had got him through and together they were both able to escape to the safety of the streets. Stanley became angry at this point because he was able to get out. Yet, many innocent souls were not given the same luxury. Brian, on the other hand, was grateful and exclaimed, “Whatever God’s plan is or was shall be. I can’t question it.”…In contrast to this thought, I did like [it] when the woman was talking about her mother’s funeral mass and she spoke of how connected she began to feel with the church again based on the priest’s talk during the mass. The priest said, “This is not God’s plan; all we can do in response to this is cry.” I think in some ways….this changed my perception on those left behind by the dying. A strong faith can be a sense of comfort in times of loss. For Dave’s wife, her faith was not enough. She felt as if she were left questioning her faith and feels abandoned by her God to the point that she feels as if she can’t even talk to him anymore. She claims to know deep down that God exists, yet she cannot forgive Him at this point. While others have lost their family members and are deeply saddened, yet accept that this was God’s plan and had to happen. I think this shows that a strong religious background can help ease the pains of the world and is something that should not be taken for granted. As another interviewer said, “After a horror you need

Religion and Tragic Deaths: Suicide and Homicide  73 to believe that there is something deeper going on, that there is a spiritual life, and connect with something.” Seems almost humanistic which made it easier to believe God was empathetic to us. The lesson I got from this was the different ways people get through and process death. Some people who lost friends and family on 9/11 stuck by their faith and looked to God to help get them through this. They trusted that God does what he does for a reason. From what I understood from the film, it seemed like people who stuck by their faith through this time seemed to cope a bit better and sort of move on. There were others who lost faith in God during this time and were searching for answers. It seemed as though they had and are still having a hard time coping and understanding why this had to happen. There was also that man who said he chants voicemails and words spoken to loved ones on that day and said: “Whatever my tradition is about, it’s about this.” I think that I was most surprised by the beginning and seeing so many people upset and angry at God because of the fact that I grew up going to a Christian school and we were always told the basics like “God has a plan for everyone,” and the teachers would always tell us not to be upset with him or doubt him and there may be times where we may but to just remember our faith in him. And they would say things like this in history when we talked about 9/11. And even though I don’t really believe in that at all anymore, it was just surprising to see that based on how I grew up. What most surprised me in the film was the selfishness a lot of these people had. In some cases, people gained faith and relationships with God, while others would say “How could He let this happen?” or “Why my [god]?” and it made me think of all the mass murders and genocides and if their emotions reciprocated those as they did on 9/11. They only lost their faith in God when they were impacted by it, and I saw that as very selfish. I think it is very interesting how a lot of the people in the film didn’t feel comfort from God on that day. If you serve your faith and have a love for God, you should feel that he is always doing the right thing. These people did not think their God would do such a thing to them and their families. It definitely makes people who have gone through such a trauma question religion. This film really humbles a person and I personally thank God everyday for giving me another breath to take. I believe everything happens for a reason and I believe God does not put you into a situation that you can’t handle. I really love what one of the women said: “…I have come to the conclusion that maybe God knew something I didn’t know, that maybe she [her deceased daughter] was suffering more than I knew about. God knows best.”…I was most surprised at the fact that this tragedy made people lose

74  Religion and Tragic Deaths: Suicide and Homicide so much faith. I really never looked at it from that perspective but I really can’t be mad at the people for feeling that way because of how it happened and how much of a tragedy it was to see their loved ones die that way out of all possible ways…. This film doesn’t change my perception of death and dying and my life in general because I still see life as a mystery. I believe you just have to live and do what you can until the mystery is solved. I believe everyone should believe in something but when you do, believe in it hard and don’t lose faith. You have to really experience something to keep the faith strong. A man in the film said that he lost his faith in God that day, that no god will do something like that, but in reality would there be a heaven or hell if nothing bad was ever to happen on earth?? Lesson Learned: Deepen One’s Faith in the Face of Tragedy Four (4) students felt that in the face of tragedy, people’s reliance on religion should deepen in more profound ways. As I answer this same question in other films, it just shows me to enjoy every second of life because anything can happen. Like at the beginning of the film when a lady said it was a beautiful sunny day, which made the whole day more horrible….This film also showed that I should connect with God more. My family and I are religious and the film made me want to go to church more. I’m going to try to pray and give thanks every night before I go to bed. I learned that in times of tragedy or in times of extreme fear or pain, the vast majority of human beings will turn to God or some sort of higher power. Even if someone is not that religious or even if they have never spoken to God before in their life, when something awful happens God is the first person that they turn to. What I found not necessarily most surprising but fascinated by was the question of God and religion. For someone to have such a strong faith and beheld in God to believe that he would allow such an evil cruelty to occur is just baffling. The question of why is asked repeatedly and may never stop being asked as well as answered. Some may have questioned their faith after this tragedy, but some may have had their faith become stronger from it.…My perception of death and dying is that those who may have not been religious before may develop faith when facing death in the eyes. Death can approach us at any given day or time, but faith will always be there and a choice. Like stated in the video, September 11th was…an apocalyptic day. The courage of those who had to decide between jumping through windows stories high or burning to death is just unbelievable. The questions and thoughts running through their minds is just unbearable. The question of what they must have seen or heard, such as the voice or image from God….must have taken place before their eyes for their courage,

Religion and Tragic Deaths: Suicide and Homicide  75 strength, …and decisions by these victims. I do believe God was present even more than usual with every victim and person in this world that day. God is and will always be around.…The power of God and religion is very powerful, strengthening, and healing. This makes me realize my life in general that I cannot take it for granted because tomorrow is never promised and that I really have to appreciate God more. Losing My Religion: Questioning Faith Eleven (11) students appeared to understand how people might question their faith in the face of tragedy. In some cases, the students recognized that even the most faithful would have their faith shattered. One of the things that surprised me the most was listening to people who have a faith in a higher power speak about how they viewed the events that occurred on 9/11. Kim Coleman, the retired NYC police officer spoke on how she lost her daughter that day. One of the lines that she said that surprised me [the most] was, “God knows best… he knows better than we do.” She believed that God had a plan set out for her daughter and that [her daughter] dying in that manner was a part of his plan. Sharif Chowdhury, an insurance agent who lost both his daughter and son-in-law, had similar thoughts on God and death. He and his wife said it was “Allah’s will” that their daughter died that day. As someone who has no true belief in a higher power or follows a religion closely, this was shocking/surprising to hear someone say that. It reminds me of the fatalistic view that was mentioned within the earlier chapters of the textbook, that our lives are predetermined. I would imagine that if I was a survivor of a 9/11 victim, I would not have similar feelings or thoughts as Kim Coleman or the Chowdhury family. I was surprised by the number of people who still strongly believed in God. There were not that many in total, but I was surprised to see any at all really. I guess it’s just because I wouldn’t be able to do the same if I were in their shoes. In this video I learned that no matter what type of God you believe in, He/they can be called into question when a tragedy of this size hits. People question why God didn’t stop it, didn’t save certain people, or how someone can commit such an act in the name of God. No matter what you believe in, the biggest hope that people had was that those who fell victim to the attacks didn’t suffer. Even as you watched people jump out of the windows to their death, they hope they didn’t feel it. I also learned that people who spent their whole lives talking to God or studying him and preaching His words to others can have their faith shaken by such a tragedy.

76  Religion and Tragic Deaths: Suicide and Homicide This movie made me think about God and religion in a very different light. I am a Christian and I always thought that God allowed things to happen for a greater cause. This movie opened up my perception of who I think God really is, and how I might think differently about my spirituality. Like many of the people interviewed [in the film], it was very hard for me to wrap my head around God letting such a large number of people die and only saving a few. What made those who survived better than those who died? What Rabbi Kula said… really stuck with me because maybe God isn’t some all-supernatural being that just stares at us and makes decisions. Maybe God is very different than we had originally thought. Overall, this film taught me to think about spirituality and religion in a very different light. While religion can be a safe haven for many, it has caused a lot of destruction and evil for centuries. [W]hen you think about it, religion is what anchors a lot of our feelings that relate to life and death. It would make sense that after such a terrible tragedy people would question if a God even exists if He lets this sort of thing happen. Some people believe God did what He could that day, saved as many people as He could even if it wasn’t who they wanted to be saved. But others who survived the attacks were mad at God for letting the heroes of the story die— the firemen, policemen, EMS, the people who ran back into the buildings to help others out. Even those who devoted their lives to God couldn’t see where He was that day, couldn’t count on him like they thought they could. This video shown a new light on the tragedies that day I hadn’t even considered before this point. What was most surprising to me about this video is that some people did not doubt God or their faith at all. I am not a hugely religious person. I struggle with faith. And it makes sense why some people questioned God and their faith after such a horrible tragedy. However, the people who did not question God or anything at all and who just believed it to be part of his plan— that is what surprised me the most. After losing a loved one, it would be so hard for me not to question anything.…It changed my perception because I have always challenged faith. If there is an almighty, allpowerful, and knowledgeable God, then why inflict this pain and tragedy upon people? There are other ways to teach lessons, but why does a little girl have to go to bed every night knowing her father won’t be there when she wakes up, and I’m 21 and have healthy parents? It doesn’t make sense, and it makes me wonder why certain people die, and how does this happen. I learned that after the attacks even religious leaders were questioning their God. They never stopped believing, but they started to wonder how something like this could happen. There was a man who spoke about how he couldn’t believe that someone could do something so evil in the name of his religion.

Religion and Tragic Deaths: Suicide and Homicide  77 The film left me with the perception that life as we know it is unpredictable. We all need to believe in someone or something and be able to hold onto it in difficult times. I think 9/11 made us realize that losing faith in God can be disturbing and lonely. We start to question God’s worth or love when previously he was a source of comfort. What surprised me most was how priests, rabbis, and other religious figures reacted to 9/11. I felt as if many of them had moments of disbelief and they described the death of an old god and the creation of anew. This hit me: Men of faith had to change their rooted ideologies of god after this event. I learned that one’s beliefs can be either made or broken in catastrophic events. Towards the beginning of the film, people discussed how [the tragedy] brought them closer to God, and then it shifted to a challenge of belief. Some people had their beliefs put into such an intense questioning that it totally reshaped their ideas about him. I also found a comment from one of the atheists very profound. Paraphrasing what he said: If humans are able to do something as horrible as this, then that solidifies my belief that there is no divine and merciful God. I have personally been in many circumstances when I did believe in God that made me question if he was merciful, why? Why are people suffering? Why are we punished? To hear this really gave me something to think about. What surprises me most is the fact that it takes an event that people are directly affected by in order to shake their faith, or strengthen it in some cases. I do not want to minimize the suffering of anyone that experienced loss or suffered because of 9/11, but I think it’s important to recognize that suffering on this level exists everyday throughout the world, as an atheist professor in the film mentioned. Atrocities have been committed on much larger scales, yet many people don’t question the nature of god until those atrocities touch their lives directly. Why is there such a disconnect? Is it because the Holocaust happened so long ago, or because what happens on the other side of the world is out of sight and out of mind, or is it because it’s not American lives that are being affected? Regardless, I find it odd that god can be benevolent to someone whose life is going well while the world suffers, yet minds and hearts can suddenly change when their life is negatively affected. To be fair, much of this is likely a coping mechanism. People need someone to blame when violence occurs, and when there is no one single factor to direct their confusion, frustration, and anger toward, god is the only one left. 9/11 as Having No Effect on One’s Faith One student noted that 9/11 did not change her faith in religion or her God, though she had questions about why a tragedy the magnitude of 9/11 had to happen.

78  Religion and Tragic Deaths: Suicide and Homicide It didn’t change my views on religion and God because I truly do think everything happens for a reason, but it does make me question why this had to happen. Perhaps there is something coming that this ordeal needed to happen for, but it just doesn’t make sense why all these innocent people had to die. God as Working in Mysterious Ways Three (3) students felt that God worked in mysterious ways. A lesson I learned from the film was that it’s okay to question spirituality during a high impact event (this can be on a personal scale or large scale). As someone who lost a loved one recently, I understand where some of the victims are coming from, but I have also learned that God does everything in a mysterious way. When Brian was talking about meeting Stanley, he said something about what shall be will be (I don’t remember his words precisely) but that stuck out to me because I know everything happens for a reason and those who continued to believe in their faith also know that everything happens for a reason. I liked what Rabbi Brad Hirshfield said about God’s ways being mysterious rather than talking about God’s plan. If God’s ways are mysterious, then there are no definitive answers, or at least ones that we can understand. When you say God has a plan, people are going to be angry with him when he takes their loved ones in such a violent and seemingly senseless manner. It is easy to be angry at a specific plan, but mystery makes things a little less clear. I think mystery is about asking questions and I don’t think people get angry at questions. A plan is an answer, and an answer can absolutely make people angry if they don’t like it or cannot understand it. I grew up Roman Catholic but have moved away from a set religion and find myself to be very spiritual. I knew learning about the Catholic religion I had a hard time understanding some parts of it and found myself asking “Why?” a lot. To hear some religious figures in the film helped me realize that there might not always be answers and maybe we are not supposed to know all the answers. God as Testing Humans At least one (1) student felt that life was a test and that God possibly continually tests people’s patience, character, and faith. So even in the midst of impossible pain and suffering, God is testing people’s trust and belief in Him. When I think about tragedies such as September 11th, I often conclude that catastrophic death could happen to anyone at any time, and to appreciate the present good times while they’re happening. I kept coming back to something someone said to me when I was recently asking [the] question

Religion and Tragic Deaths: Suicide and Homicide  79 “Why, God?,” and the answer I received was “He is testing us.” When they were talking about the people that were jumping from the towers to their death, I couldn’t help but wonder if they were being tested, if that was something God presented them with as a test. These types of thoughts are unpredictable and leave me wondering if I am growing insensitive to other human beings. Generally, the film had me questioning whether we do go to heaven, hell, or just nothing, just our remaining energy. God as testing us. Don’t Blame God or Religion Eleven (11) students felt that people should blame neither God nor religion for tragedies. It was these students’ belief that God has no control over tragic events, particularly when the destruction was caused by man. The following student comments exemplify this pattern: The lesson I learned from this film is that you cannot blame religion for the wrongdoing of someone else actions. A lot of people asked God why did he let it happen or why it is happening. You cannot blame God for someone else’s wrongdoing and comparing someone’s malicious actions. I was a little taken aback at watching this film and hearing the doubts people had against God and/or their religion. I can understand the perspective of the people experiencing the fall of the towers from within and their faith wavering, but I expected the loved ones of those people to cling on to God. Religion has always been a source of strength and hope for me, so to hear people decide to turn away from Him is shocking. Hearing the accusations and statements of disappointment towards God and/or their religion was also hard to witness because it is during these times they are supposed to call on God to help them cope and provide strength. I believed that America has been shielded from all wars in our existence as a country since they are all fought in the other nation’s territory. When the war was finally brought to America, the nation was allowed to witness what other countries (who have went to war with us) have experienced for years and it is not right to blame God on a consequence of war. What was most surprising to me about this film was the people that put the blame for this incident on their own personal religions. It does make sense to me that people would question as to how a just god could let such a terrible thing happen to so many good people, but if you are to have faith it is strange to me that some of these people were simultaneously placing blame on that faith. The people who had this inner contradiction seemed to be the ones who had the most trouble healing. This is the type of tragedy that is impossible to truly describe and to which placing blame has no value. I have learned from this film that religion has a dark side that people can easily become immersed and lost in. Also, no human should ever be able to

80  Religion and Tragic Deaths: Suicide and Homicide speak for “God.” Even so, people’s views of God and his wishes can become so misconstrued from evildoers and that is very scary.…This film supports my perception of life that every day is a gift and also that evil does exist and unfortunately tests our beliefs of good. Life and people bring dynamics of evil into the world. How can God allow this?…I personally think he does not have control of it. We can look to him for guidance, hope and support, and we can pray to him, but it does not always take away our feelings of anger and sadness. It is so hard to hold high beliefs of God when evil occurs and presents you with situations where you feel helpless and alone. This film is the reality of life and shows that other humans are capable of hurting others. It is up to us if we let that destroy our faith or strengthen it. I was mostly surprised that people actually blamed God for taking their loved ones away, although I think that many people blame God when they are put in a situation like that when they lose a loved one. But in reality, we can’t blame God for something we can’t control. If somebody wants to hurt us, they will do everything in their power to do so. God can’t block all evil, but I do believe that God was with them when the attacks happened. He comforted them but knew that he couldn’t do anything to prevent this. What surprised me most about the film was about 40 or so minutes in when the man who was an atheist was talking and said that “It shook me— that human beings could do this to other human beings.” It took me back because he was the first person who we heard from that didn’t blame God. It did bother me that people kept blaming God for this and I don’t understand why. He wasn’t the one who hijacked the plane. I understand their frustration in the whole thing with why would he let something like this happen, but I everybody believes in different religions so my god might be different from theirs. But, with that, we’re not all God’s puppets. We have our own free will and we can do what our heart desires with it. It’s awful but people out there did this [terrorist attack] for what they believe in. From this film, I learned that many people will blame religion and/or their God for horrible events because, as stated in the film, the God/god is supposed to be the one protecting you, so why did this occur while He was watching? From this, I kept hearing the phrase, “Where is God?,” which many in the film argued that he was there because he had a plan for everyone there. At the end, when things go wrong, the majority of people try their hardest to find a scapegoat for their problems instead of facing it. I found this film very upsetting. I consider myself to be religious— not too religious, but religion is important to me. It bothers me that people blame God for tragedies like this. One person in this film said, “Now this is another reason for people not to believe him.” That really bothered me. God was not the cause of this and he would never want to hurt anyone.

Religion and Tragic Deaths: Suicide and Homicide  81 The most surprising part of this film was hearing a man [refer to] God as a barbarian because of what happened. I do not believe that blaming God for the deaths of many helps people cope and instead replaces grief with anger and resentment. This does not seem like a healthy coping process and would not assist in their grieving. Another part that was surprising was hearing that the act of jihad was one of great pride and sacrifice but now has become something more dangerous and strained from its original purpose. I hate that what occurred during 9/11 will forever define the jihad instead of its initial meaning. I learned that when a tragic event occurs, such as 9/11 (whose existence cannot be explained), it causes people to question their faith and form a “them” and “us” mentally. This occurs because people needed to separate themselves from those that caused the pain and confusion they feel. Another lesson I learned is religion is used for hope and strength but also motivation. It is because of these qualities that people use it for bad intentions, such as those in 9/11 and the Crusades. I do not believe that these events should lay blame on God or religion because we are a people of free will that gives us the opportunity to make our own decisions, whether they are for good or bad. I was surprised exactly how much it was expressed that people can lose faith in their God. It’s not to say that their outlook is invalid, but coming from the view of something invested in philosophy, I can’t say I would lose my faith over these things. I understand that we can view pure evil brought into this world. However, the source of it is always ourselves and no outside sources. People may judge me for this view, but I have to see the bad things that happen as things that help elevate us to change what’s needed and allows us to value the good things that do happen. If there is a God, then I would like to believe that he granted us free will. Hence, I do not believe that the evil out of a situation can be blamed on Him, but rather the people that do it. The Dark Side of Religion Religious Extremism Seven (7) students focused on the dark side of religion. Four (4) students focused on religious extremism in particular. Some of the students recognized that the root problem was not in religion, but in man; yet, it was religion that provided the motivation for the violence. The film reaffirmed everything I thought about religion— specifically religious fanaticism and the lengths that people will go to in the worship of their religious God or deity. I also learned that in times of significant distress and emotion there are those who turn towards God and their faith for

82  Religion and Tragic Deaths: Suicide and Homicide support and others who turn away feeling abandoned and let down by their God. It was interesting to listen to people talk about this. I learned that human beings need to STOP interpreting whatever beliefs they have in any way they want and use that interpretation as an excuse to carry out their own personal goals. All major wars have always happened because of religion and to this day nobody has won. Instead, so many lives are ended unnecessarily and they just continue to spread hate around the world. My view on life has been changed mostly by one sentence that someone in the film said. A man said that people can get drunk off god. I believe it, and it is not just god. It is whatever higher power one believes in. People can believe in their divine being so intensely that they claim that the reason they survived a traumatic event was due to their god. It can also be dangerous and cause extremism. This happens in every religion, not just Islam. There are extremist Christian groups that have been a part of horrendous acts. The KKK claims to be a religious group, but in my opinion, they are a homeland terrorist group. Religion is so powerful that it can control people’s lives and actions. Another thing I learned about was the Islam religion. In the film, it spoke about the Muslim extremist who perpetrated the acts that occurred on 9/11. The film said that suicide is firmly rejected in the Islam religion. The traditional meaning of jihad is to die in battle for the sake of a larger purpose, which is a noble thing to do. However, there is a newer, nontraditional idea of jihad, which is an act of private worship. In this view, you become closer to God by “ blowing yourself up.” This is what occurred on 9/11, as the hijackers overtook the planes to kill themselves, the passengers, and the people in the towers/buildings.…I think this film also brings to light the good and evil of life itself, and how religion plays a role in that. With the creation of religion, there was the need to be good to go into the better afterlife, like Heaven. Those who were evil would be condemned in a bad afterlife, like Hell. Even without religion, people will act how they want, as they have their own autonomies. However, religion can drive people to act or behave in a certain manner, which was presented throughout this film. As someone with an agnostic view of religion, this film was insightful in seeing how religion affects the lives of those who have experienced death or tragedy. Religious Used for Both Evil and Good One student acknowledged religion’s dark side but also acknowledged that religion can be unifying. This [film] changes my perception of life by making me think about what different people live for. For me, it’s my family and to connect and help others any way I can. For the majority of people in this world, their meaning

Religion and Tragic Deaths: Suicide and Homicide  83 of life comes from their religion or faith. Although people all believe in different things, typically the ideas within these faiths are similar to my own. But even with similar beliefs the actions people take to carry out these beliefs can stray very far from one another. That being said, these similar beliefs help to re- enforce a oneness of us as humans, giving people something to have faith in, and helping to explain the amount of kindness that was shown during the aftermath of 9/11. Religion’s Divisiveness One student emphasized the divisive and irrational nature of religion. What lessons did you glean from this film? One lesson I had reinforced within my own belief structure is that religion is still too divisive in nature for me to ever take it seriously. Reverend David Benke’s account of his experiences facing backlash over attempting to create togetherness was especially striking to me. The fact that even his own colleagues would go to such lengths to accuse him of heresy for simply promoting unity is absolutely ludicrous. This example showed me why much of religion is still so fundamentally flawed. Admittedly, not all religious officials feel this way, but they should be championing togetherness and not promoting isolation. Another lesson reiterated to me was the insane level of persistence which remains possible in one’s religious faith. If you look at the example of Kim Coleman, you can see this. She loses her daughter in a horrific random death and she still finds a way to chalk this all up as God’s plan. Coleman, a retired NYC police officer, assumes that “maybe God knew something I didn’t know” and that her daughter may have been suffering. These [are] random conclusions…likely made…in efforts to preserve her faith. To lose a child and still make excuses for God? This is really a leap. Religious Personification of Evil One student focused on religious believers’ tendency to personify evil and to frame evil in supernatural terms. I learned that psychology defines evil as coming from deprivation, abuse, and unmet needs. However, for many religious people, they view evil as a tangible force or being: demons, devils, supernatural force, curses, etc. This is evil personified, something separate from ourselves. Some people struggle to think that we are all capable of evil. Additionally, suggesting evil is human does not mean we can fully understand it. The Varied Nature of Religion Two students pointed out that faith and religion came in many different forms. Some students observed that, in spite of the differences across

84  Religion and Tragic Deaths: Suicide and Homicide religions, there were shared traits and experiences across different faiths nonetheless. I gleaned that faith has its cons, but it most certainly has its benefits. Regarding the cons, destruction, terror, and pain are elements which reign in the committing of acts under the name of a deity or wishing to make our reality reflect the words within a holy book of fables. Regarding the benefits, there is a plethora of different forms of faith that do not all involve the worshiping of a deity. I resonated with Kirk Varnedoe’s stance of expressing one’s spirituality through art. I appreciated Irwin Kula, the rabbi, speaking about how the real religion is about love. In my opinion, I completely agree. I believe that whether people want to believe it or not, we all pray to the same god with a different name. Four (4) students observed that tragedy affects everyone differently; people cope with crises differently, and they grieve differently, including those of the same faith. A lesson I learned was how a serious, tragic event can have such different effects on people who share the same religion. Tim, as well as the woman whose husband died as a firefighter (forget her name), both lost faith in their God. They were mad and unforgiving, wondering how He could possibly do this to them. They could not make sense of this being his “plan” for their loved ones. Reverend Joseph also felt this way about God— that He could no longer be counted on. He was no longer sure of what he believed in or where his faith should be coming from. However, Terry tells her story about feeling connected to her mother when she goes to the church. She feels comforted by the church since 9/11. Tragic events really do have a different impact on the level of religion people continue to have. I learned that people of all backgrounds and faiths can absolutely change their minds about who they believe their higher power is, especially after a tragic event like 9/11. It is important to not lose sight of that because one never knows which way a person will lean on the religious scale in times of tragedy. I would have thought that someone with a lot of faith would not lose that faith at all, but it is possible, just like it is possible for someone who is not religious to gain faith and change their religious position. I think it is also important to recognize that not all religious leaders, such as priests or rabbis, think exactly the same. They may have all been taught the same religion, but they are the ones who apply it to their lives in their own way, and give their sermons in their own way as well. If I took nothing else away from the film, it’s that everyone deals with tragedy differently, especially when it comes to faith. Christians, Jews,

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Muslims, and atheists alike all seemed to react differently, including those of the same faith. The wife of the firefighter who lost her husband had a profound change in her relationship with god, while one man, I believe he was a photographer, had his belief that god doesn’t meddle in the daily affairs of humans reaffirmed. One atheist had his belief system shaken because, although he did not believe in god, his belief in humanity was shattered by such a violent and horrific event. A lifetime of devotion to a god(s) or a lifetime of atheistic humanism can both be altered in unpredictable ways in the face of a tragedy with the magnitude of 9/11. The biggest lesson I learned from this film was that everyone grieves differently, and everyone has a different opinion on faith and religion. What these people went through on that day will never be forgotten, and I am positive even though this film was produced 15 years ago, some of these people still have a tough time thinking about what they believe in. I know when people grieve or go through a traumatic experience they can go down one of two paths of faith. Although I am religious and believe in God, I do not think either of these paths are necessarily wrong. Finally, regardless of students’ perception of god/religion in times of mass tragedy, there are shared understandings across faith. As one student wrote, “No matter one’s religion, death can hit. Even though people can deal with death differently in light of religion, it still affects people in the same way.” Another student commented: I learned that when something tragic happens in someone’s life— whether they lose a loved one or witness a terrorist attack— everyone thinks about faith. Whether they are an atheist like one man in the film, or they believe in God, they think about it.

Reference Whitney, Helen, Ron Rosenbaum, Kathryn Walker, and David Fanning. 2002. Faith & Doubt at Ground Zero. New York: PBS Home Video.

5

Religion and Tragic Deaths The Death of Young Children

CNN senior medical correspondent Elizabeth Cohen (2015) presented a two-part series that focused on the medical- ethical debate over whether terminally ill young children should have a say in making their own endof-life decisions. Students in my death and dying class were required to read the webpage content of Cohen’s work and answer three questions thereafter. None of the questions I posted referred to religion specifically, but religion—in the form of heaven or an afterlife—invariably would figure prominently in the student responses, as the concept of “heaven” became a focal point in a young girl’s end-of-life decision. Michelle Moon and Steve Snow, the parents of Julianna Snow, the ­then-five-year-old ­​­­ ­​­­ ​­ girl with an incurable neurodegenerative disease, allowed their daughter to “choose” between going to the hospital if she were to become dangerously ill or staying at home, where she would die. Julianna ultimately chose “heaven” over the hospital. This particular discussion assignment asked, among other things, the following: How might parents broach the subject of death to a child with a terminal disease? What should the parents say to their dying child exactly and why? In other words, how might parents explain what death is to a young child? What should they say (and, if applicable, what should they NOT say)? As the CNN.com media piece drew attention to the idea of heaven in the afterlife, I expected to come across multiple student references to religion in their responses. Indeed, for the assignment questions raised above, 112 students out of 218 students referred to religion, with most referring to the concept of heaven or another form of afterlife. Of the 112 responses containing religious elements: 69 felt that heaven or an afterlife was needed or was at least appropriate when discussing death with a dying child; four respondents opted for a toned- down version of heaven; five respondents were against mentioning heaven, though the level of disinclination varied; and 33 respondents were not sure how to broach death to a dying child but indicated that a religious explanation certainly was a possibility.

DOI: 10.4324/9781003353249-5

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Broaching Death to a Child: Imparting the Idea of a Heaven or Afterlife A total of 69 students felt that heaven or another form of an afterlife was appropriate when broaching the topic of death and dying to a young child, noting that they themselves would incorporate the concept of heaven or an afterlife if they had to discuss what the process of dying and death entailed to their own child. The following comments illustrate such a trend: I’m not sure how a parent would broach the subject of death to a child [who is] terminally ill. I do know that I would ease them into it. I would probably write a children’s book about a sick child and read it to them first. Then explain to them that they were everything I ever dreamed of, and that when they are gone, they’d always be alive in my heart. I would explain to the aspects of heaven and introduce them to people they will meet in heaven through pictures. I would want them to feel like they’d be okay, and that mommy and daddy will be okay too. Though it will not be easy, the best thing for the parents to do when talking about death with a child is to be direct. They do not have to be harsh, but a child can tell when an adult is lying and being deceptive; therefore, being direct and honest is the only option. Explain to the child first the concept of life, and that that is what they are experiencing right now. This will make death easier to explain, because death is when this thing called life stops. The parent should explain to the child that when someone dies, they are no longer on earth with their family and friends. While telling a child that when they die, though they will no longer be on earth, they will be in heaven likely makes this process easier, [but this] is really only an option to parents who believe that this [heaven] is true. I would first probably ask my child if they understand what is going on with their bodies in terms of making sure they understand their terminal disease. The next step I feel like I would bring up about heaven and ask them what they think heaven is and go from there. I think it is also important to talk to them how Michelle did with Julianna and talk about being in the hospital or being at home and what that means. I feel that no matter how I think I would address this now, if this ever happened to me. how this talk would happen could be different. I feel like it’s one of those things you don’t know what it will be like until it happens to you. I think Michelle [Julianna’s mother] did a really good job with Julianna. They believe in heaven and she explained to her that she would be going there alone, not with any of her immediate family, and Julianna has a good understanding that she will not be alone. She understands as best she can

88  Religion and Tragic Deaths: The Death of Young Children that heaven is where she is going to go and she will not see her mom, father, or brother right away. Based on my religious beliefs, I would broach the subject similarly to how Julianna’s parents did. [I would tell my dying child that] there is a heaven in which all pain is gone, yet those of us here will not be with you. I think it would be easier to explain if a loved one has [already] passed before, as the conversation would already have been started in another fashion. It is hard to explain things in these manners. As I have discovered as a parent, most conversations happen off-the- cuff and due to the circumstances at hand. One can plan as much as they want; yet, the conversation may be vastly different based on the situation that comes up. I like the way Julianna’s parents broach the subject of death to Julianna, talking about heaven and afterlife, and all of the positive and happy things to look forward to. Even when they tell her that her parents and brother will not be there when she dies, they assure her that they will see her again. I think that taking the negatives out of the situation allows the child to fear less about what is going to happen to them when they die, and allows them to live more peacefully while they can. Instilling fear about death into a child with a terminal illness is going to make their quality of life decline even faster than it naturally is. It will do no good at all to allow them to see death as a terrible event. If parents talk about death in as much positive light as possible, the outcome for the child will not only be better, but for the family as well. I would personally choose the heaven approach. I think the idea of heaven and a happy afterlife surrounded by those you love that have already passed brings a sense of peace and hope for those that are facing an unknown event, especially one that can be very scary because it is a mystery to human existence. The parents [with a dying child] might broach the subject of death in a similar way that the concept was introduced to Julianna Snow—through ​­ the religious idea of dying and going up to heaven. In my family, my siblings and I [grew up] with the idea that when you die, if you were a good person on earth you went to heaven and if you were a bad person you went to hell. While we may not necessarily know what death is, my parents try to talk about how when a person in our family dies, they go to heaven (or hell). Parents can also bring about the topic of death to children [by] sitting them down and talking to them about how it affected the parents in some way so that the children have a view of what death is. I believe that parents could broach the subject of death to a child with a terminal disease by explaining heaven to them and [saying] that they will no longer be suffering as they are on earth. I think it would also be important to explain that everyone goes to heaven eventually and that no one knows when

Religion and Tragic Deaths: The Death of Young Children  89 they will go to heaven, but that it will be a very safe, peaceful, and happy place. I think that keeping the explanation very simple is important, as none of us can truly make sense of what happens when we die. Some specific crucial words to include would be that the child was not meant to suffer with their illness and that is why they will be going to heaven so that they will be able to be happy, healthy, and pain-free as they deserve to be. I believe [Julianna’s] parents did a great job; they painted a nice picture for her. Parents should remind their children that loved ones who have passed away will greet them in heaven and later everyone would join. I think parents should also have children’s books that explain the death process, maybe even about grieving. Books give a good understanding and start a lot of discussions. Finally, someone like a priest (depending on the religion) should have a talk with the child and the parents to ease the pressure on the parents since they will feel like they don’t have all the answers. Those who are religious may have an easier time tackling a subject about death with a child. I think it depends on the child’s age what is chosen to be talked about. The idea of heaven (whether you are religious or not, choose to believe it or not) can be a helpful tool in having that conversation. I can’t imagine having to tell a child they were going to die, but I know I would absolutely explore every question and answer it to the best of my abilities for them, hoping to provide comfort. Communication and community and a sense of belonging and support are of the utmost importance in this situation. It is probably impossible to find a good way for parents to broach the subject of death to a child with a terminal disease. It is probably easier if there has been a previous death of a family member or a pet. If a child has had previous experiences with death, it certainly makes it easier to know where to start. If there are no previous experiences with death, it becomes more complicated. It might be a good idea to find some movie that could introduce the idea of death. Bambi might be a good movie for that, although it would probably be better to find a movie where death is from a disease or natural causes rather than someone getting shot. The death happens off camera in Bambi, so it can still introduce the idea of death and what it means. For religious families, they can also introduce the idea of heaven. There are probably some good books that could help with the subject as well. It is good that there are so many options because it is a very difficult subject to deal with. I think that kids have a good sense of death and the heavens above. The parents in the article brought up the subject of death in a great way. Talking about heaven and a positive outcome for death is essential in

90  Religion and Tragic Deaths: The Death of Young Children making the child understand death but not be afraid of it. Parents should try to find a way to make the child as comfortable with it as possible, since it is unavoidable. I think death is a tough subject to talk about even if the person is an adult; I would not even know where to begin if I was the parent of a terminally ill child. I think that the first thing that they should talk about is the physical act of dying, and how it is final. Then I would think that if the parents are religious, they could talk about what the afterlife would be like, to bring peace to the child and make it less scary. There is no easy way to do this. I have read many articles on Facebook and other social media describing how moms told their children they won’t see them for a while. It is heartbreaking but it must be done. I think the best way to go about it is telling your child about heaven and all the glorious things there. I would explain that I wouldn’t see her for a while but at some point again I will. I would tell her she will be able to play, eat, sing, dance, and do all amazing things she cannot do now. I would also make it clear that her family and friends on earth won’t join her in heaven yet, but she will see other people in heaven. I think the way Julianna’s parents went about it was perfect and very appropriate. Parents should broach the subject with their terminally ill children by talking about the fact that their children will no longer be in pain, and that they will be with [insert whoever has died that was important to the parents and or dying child] their loved ones, who will help them into their transition into heaven or whatever they believe in. Talk about the love that you have for your children and how important it is that they know you love them. Talk about how once in heaven, you will not feel the pain and suffering you have had on earth. Tell them how they will be able to run around and play like how other children do. Being Catholic and a believer in God, I would tell my child about heaven, and how there is nothing to worry about because once he or she is in God’s hands, she will be safe and free of pain. I would tell him or her that there are a lot of other little girls and boys who had to go to heaven too soon, just like him or her. I would reassure him/her that we would all be with her one day, but that I can’t give him/her a set time because, like him or her, I don’t know when the time will be exactly. I really loved the way Michelle and Steve broached the subject of death to Julianna. As a Christian, I would do the same if my child were unable to visit the church. If the parents are faith- based, they should consider asking the minister/priest/religious leader to come speak with the child and structure the conversation. A therapist or support group is an alternative

Religion and Tragic Deaths: The Death of Young Children  91 method in broaching the subject to a child and could be a source of comfort through their journey. There is no correct way to broach the subject of death to a child, but by explaining their condition and answering the questions/fears they may have is another method to inform them on what is happening. They might bring up heaven and how they won’t feel pain anymore. They might talk about how they will be in a better place and that they will all meet up there when the time comes and that the child will be missed dearly. They might say that everything will fade to black and they will be free from pain and that is the end. Some may even describe it like going to sleep and dreaming forever. When a child has been diagnosed with a terminal illness, that answer changes, as parents must come to understand themselves that their child is actively dying. If someone else in the family has passed away, it will be easier to use this as a starting point for the child. If someone has not, then the subject must be broached more carefully, talking broadly of death before coming to the point the child, too, will die. Using heaven, regardless of whether or not the parents believe in it, is a tactic that allows the child to believe that death is not a scary thing. This, above all else, is important, to ensure the child does not look at death as a shadowy, evil concept that is coming to claim their lives. I don’t really know how parents should approach the subject of death to a child with a terminal disease. I think the way that Julianna’s parents did it was good. Just by talking about heaven, and making it not seem scary. I think if kids see that their parents aren’t scared, they won’t be as scared either. I think it is hard to know what to say, but I definitely think talking about it is important. I think that parents should broach the subject of death when it has been made clear to the family there is no possibility of the child getting better, just like in Julianna’s case. I think that parents should explain to children what dying means and frame it in a way that talks about an afterlife or heaven so that children won’t be terrified of death. Although talking about death can bring about death anxiety for both the child and the parents, I think that the parents should explain to them that death is when they are no longer living on earth with everyone and go into something else such as heaven. Parents should broach the subject of death in this way so that the child can begin to fully understand what death and dying means and understand that it’s something that will happen to them due to their illness. I also think that, depending on the age, parents should give their child the chance to choose between extending efforts to prolong life or allow death to happen whenever, just as Julianna’s parents gave her the choice.

92  Religion and Tragic Deaths: The Death of Young Children I would explain it to the child by saying, “If you do not want to go to the hospital the next time you get sick, you will be able to stay home with your family until your very last minute. And then after that you will no longer be on this earth, but you will be in heaven with God. You will be able to see us again when it is our time to meet God and you in heaven.” I would say it just like this because it is a straightforward answer for a four-year- old, but letting her know that everything will be ok in the end. A way to broach the subject of death to a child with a terminal disease is to educate them. If you take the time to explain very gently to the child what death means, they can start to wonder and understand more firmly. Julianna’s mother explained she would go to heaven, where she could play freely, run around, and be with her grandmother. Her mother said she would go to heaven alone, but that her father, brother, and she will be there eventually, where they would all be together again. She didn’t approach it as if death was scary or concerning. She exampled it as peaceful and a better place for Julianna to do the things she could never do. The approach Julianna’s mother took would be what parents should consider if it came to it. If the child wants to go to the hospital because they don’t want to die yet, then they should be able to. On the other hand, like Julianna, if the child wants to die peacefully in her or she’s home, then they should be able to. Parents may broach the subject of death to a child with a terminal disease however they may see fit. In Julianna’s case, her family is very religious so they see fit to tell her that she will lead a healthy, fun-filled life in heaven and she will be able to do all that she is restricted from and deprived of in this life. This is what they truly believe, so I do believe it is appropriate for them to tell her that….Although I am not very religious, I believe the above option is the best way to go, because if you tell a child that there is “nothing” after life and they will go nowhere, they might be more apt to choose to stay on this earth, even if it is in suffering. I support euthanasia, so I support Julianna’s parents telling her that the pain and suffering will end in her death. Although all the details they tell her may or may not be true, the fact stands that her death will end her pain and suffering….I think that parents of a child that young should disclose details of death, but not every single detail. I believe that they could have shared a little more, such as she would not have a physical body in heaven, and maybe ask her what she would like to do with her remains here on earth. I see why they might not have asked her because they probably did not want to scare her, but at the same time if they are going to give her the big decision to die or not, then this seems like a smaller decision. I would suggest that parents should first explain to their child the kind of illness they have and that there is no cure. They should let them know that any day can be their last, but they will die in peace and will be in a

Religion and Tragic Deaths: The Death of Young Children  93 much better place, also known as heaven. Once they die, they won’t have to worry about suffering or being in pain anymore because every day will be full of happiness and joy. They should also tell their child that when mommy and daddy die, they will all be in heaven together and there’s nothing to be afraid of. I think that parents shouldn’t sugarcoat the experience of faith to a child. It’s impossible for them to perfectly understand and explain everything to their child because they have never died themselves. They should tell her that her time on earth will end soon but she won’t be in pain. They should explain that they and her brother won’t be coming with herm [but t]hat she will not be alone. All her family that have passed before her will be there with God. They should also tell her she will be able to do all the things there she couldn’t do here: She will run and play and eat all the pizza she wants. They should ensure her that someday they will be coming to join her in heaven and they’ll all be together again. Although I can’t imagine giving this talk myself or even how I would begin to bring it up, with my faith as a Christian woman and my trust in God, I know I could find a way to talk to my child. I think parents should say to their dying child the truth. Whatever the truth may be, no matter how young or old your child is, just be honest and encouraging in the time they need you. I think they should say, “You have (so and so disease) and this is how it is affecting you. Eventually, you will become too sick to remain here on earth, but you will go to heaven and God will meet you and greet you with open arms. I know this sounds scary to leave this earth alone and to not know what is going to happen, but we will be praying for you and make you comfortable and live each day to the fullest while we have our time together. I do not want you to be sad, or worry about me or our family. I know you will be watching over us and protect us.” I would say this to be encouraging yet honest. [I will] show my faith in God so that my child has the peace and confidence to leave this earth and know they are going to be okay. I do not want my child to fear death, although it is such a fearful thing. I do not want them to struggle or worry or be upset about leaving us behind because eventually we will all reunite again. Parents can explain to the child what their options for care are without ever mentioning death until they have to, of course. They can also express their love and dedication to them and definitely teach them about God and how sometimes He calls His strongest warriors back home to heaven. I believe not saying certain things is just as important. Maybe parents can refrain from telling the child how they feel because as mentioned in the article, “Maybe she chose heaven over the hospital because she feels how much her parents hate to see her suffer; young children often pick up cues from their parents and want to please them…” As parents, we attempt to

94  Religion and Tragic Deaths: The Death of Young Children prepare our children for the “real world”—a ​­ world that you’re supposed to have figured out at [age] 18. However, I can’t even count all of the mistakes I made from age 18 to 25, so who’s to know when we’re old enough to make conscious decisions? I would explain to my daughter what death is, if she is asking and has an idea of what dying is. I would clearly, like I have always done with my daughter, explain to her that she will no longer be able to see me or her father. I would also, because I grew up in a religious belief, tell her that she will be going to heaven and that she would be cured from all her pain. I believe there is no cookie cutter conversation to have, as every child’s situation is different. With that being said, I think the parents should explain that their sickness will ultimately end in a physical death and discuss what will happen before, during, and after death. For example, I would advise a parent to say, “We want to discuss the physical journey of your disease. Please share any thoughts you have about this. As time goes on, your body will become weaker. We will do everything in our power to make sure you are comfortable and content during this time. Every day you are on earth is a blessing, and we understand when you do leave this earth, you will no longer be in pain.” I would also add that the child’s soul will go up to heaven and [stress that the child will] enjoy a fulfilling, loving, pain-free life with God, but I understand some parents may have different beliefs and choose not to discuss that. I believe Michelle did as good of a job as anyone could when she talked to Julianna about heaven. If you’re a religious family, learning about death through scripture and God’s teachings would be good. A child seeing their family members living their lives in a religious capacity would go a long way in helping them deal with and understand death. If there was a previous death in the family, maybe talk to them about that. Explain how they don’t see their loved one anymore because they are in heaven. Perhaps that can produce an understanding for the child on a different level. Maybe I would tell my child, “You know how we [were] all sad when Uncle Pat died? Well, we would all feel the same way about you if you decided to go to heaven.” Maybe start a little smaller in scale if a pet previously passed. Parents might talk about the subject of death to a child with a terminal illness by first talking about the illness and asking how it makes them feel. If it was similar to [Julianna’s] case and the child no longer wanted to suffer with the illness, the parents could respond just as [Michelle] did by mentioning that once you’re gone, you aren’t about to come back to earth. You will be gone and you will be very missed. A parent could say this to help the child to possibly understand a little more that death is something

Religion and Tragic Deaths: The Death of Young Children  95 that you can’t come back from. A parent could also mention that the child will no longer have to suffer from the terminal illness in heaven. Parents could say to their dying child, “I can only imagine what you must go through every day. I know that it is painful having to suffer with a terminal illness and you are so very strong. When people die, they no longer are on earth anymore and aren’t able to see their families. This means that you don’t have to suffer with having a [terminal] illness, but your family and friends will miss you so very much when you are gone. I want what is best for you and I want nothing more than your happiness. If you no longer want to be alive anymore, then we will talk to the doctors and find out what happens next.” Parents might broach the subject of death to a child with terminal disease by making a positive out of a negative. I believe that parents should sit down with the child and approach the subject lightly simply by explaining how everyone is given a time to move on in life and go to a better place where everything is happy and peaceful. You need to explain to the child what exactly death is but in a way that they will understand it and not be afraid. In Julianna’s case, her parents explained how she would be able to run around in heaven, which is something that she is not able to do while she is alive which made her look forward to going to heaven. If a family is religious, they may say that after their child passes, they will be going to heaven (or any other beliefs they may have that involves any life after death). Specifically, I would assure my child that he or she are moving on in life without the rest of the family, but that we will one day be reunited. This assures the child that it is a period of separation, but if that is what they choose, that their loved ones will honor that and see them when it is their time to pass as well. When it comes to talking about death with a child who is terminally ill, I would do exactly what Julianna’s parents did for her. I truly believe they did an appropriate job with how they explained what was happening to her. Everything they said was based on facts and their religion. There were no fabrications or scary thoughts. Everything they explained to Julianna was very child friendly and ultimately Julianna’s knowledge of what is going to happen to her allowed her to look forward to not being in pain anymore. They created heaven for Julianna to provide her comfort and hope for the future. They held their beliefs that one day they will be reunited again and that genuine thought gives Julianna the comfort and strength she needs. If I had my own child in Julianna’s position, I would say something along the lines of, “This is only temporary and one day we will join you. And even though you are going before us, we still are going to love you like you are here in our arms everyday.”

96  Religion and Tragic Deaths: The Death of Young Children The subject of dying shouldn’t be brought up in a way that will scare the child or make them sad. Rather, it should be explained focusing on the idea of infinite peace and life in another world. The parents can read children’s books about death to the child. The child should be aware that dying is a natural cause, and everyone dies one day just at different times. I would tell the child that there will be many other children in heaven. It is important for the child to be comforted when speaking about death and for them to feel as though they will not be alone. The parents should ensure that the ​­ child has their own vivid image—one that is not frightful for them. The parents should tell the child that they will meet again so that the child can hold on to some hope and so that they feel an abundance of love. I really thought the way the family approached it in the article was well put. Making sure you educate the child by saying when you die you won’t be here with us anymore. You will be alone up in heaven (or wherever we go). Saying that it won’t be like that forever; eventually, family will come and meet you but you’ll be safe and cared for. You can watch over us all and protect us. I think being as real with the child as possible but also not scaring them is the best approach when talking about death. As a person who is of a religion (Catholic), I would remind them that there is a heaven but as humans, we still don’t exactly know what happens to people when they die. If the child has to decide life or death, I wouldn’t try to paint a perfect picture of what happens after you die. I would tell them there is a possibility of seeing god and or your grandparents, but no one has ever been able to say if that is true. I believe the information given to the child should be black and white. It shouldn’t be given as a fairytale if they are choosing to die. In some cases where the child is just going to die and has only a few hours at life, I wouldn’t be as blunt towards a child because, regardless, his/her time has come. A parent should explain to them what they think will happen to them once they pass and why it is their time to pass. They can say something like, “Heaven needs you” or “You’re going to sleep for a long time and will wake up in a good place”—something ​­ to keep their child happy and comfortable with the idea of dying. The topic is never easy, but you should comfort the child and remind them after they are dead, they will be okay. Assure them even if you do not think it is right. I think what a parent says to their child about death varies greatly, [based] on their religious and cultural beliefs. The parents should say whatever they think will bring their child comfort. If it were my child, I would tell them, “Death means that your heart stops beating, you can no longer see, hear, or think. Your body stops. You are no longer in any pain. You feel comfortable. After you die, you go to heaven and you get to see your family

Religion and Tragic Deaths: The Death of Young Children  97 that have already died and, someday, you will get to see the rest of your family when they come to join you.” To me this is something I think would bring a child comfort, knowing that they no longer have to suffer and that they are not going to be alone. Overall, I feel that the discussion with a child with terminal illness about death would be dependent on the parents’ beliefs about death and even their religion, if they are religious at all. If it were me and my child, I would probably start off with the conversation by asking if they remember when a family member passed away (if they experienced someone else’s death). I would then say that their time on earth was over and they had to be a part of the universe/heaven. I would explain that it is peaceful and fun there in order to reassure them it is a good place if you end up there. I would then talk about their illness with them and how, if they get very sick, they may end up there and that their family (us) will meet them there later on. I’d assure them that their family there will protect them and keep them happy and with company until we arrive with them. I’d make sure to emphasize that when they get there, they will no longer be sick or in pain and will be healthy and happy there, also that it won’t hurt them on their way there. I think [the way] parents should broach the subject of death with a child with a terminal disease is to just sit down with the child and tell them exactly what is going on with them. Don’t hide or lie to them about what is happening to them. The parents should tell their child in a calm manner and in words that they can understand what is going on with them and use an example of a situation that they can relate to because the child may understand it better [that way]. They should say [something along the lines of], “You know how grandma passed away and she went to heaven, where she is much better? You will go be with her soon and she will take care of you until we get there one day.” They should not say it in words that are too big or past the child’s comprehension, like the technical terms that doctors use. [W]hen my grandmother passed away, my daughter was 8 -years- old and I had to explain to her what happened to her great-grandmother. It was a little difficult because I did not want to tell her the wrong information or give her too much details. I could just remember telling my daughter that grandma was sick and always in pain and now she is gone and she has no more pain. I also told her that grandma was in heaven with her parents and other loved ones that she had lost in the past. At the beginning, my daughter just stared at me and said, “Ok, grandma is not hurting anymore.” She also started asking me questions like “Can grandma see us from heaven?” [and] “Can she talk to us?” I told her she could see us but we can’t see

98  Religion and Tragic Deaths: The Death of Young Children her. I also told her you could talk to her and she could hear you, but won’t answer you back. When it comes to children, parents might paint a picture of what the afterlife looks like. Parents might talk about heaven and seeing loved ones who have passed. When I was a child, death wasn’t really a topic of discussion. My mom just told me about heaven and all of the glory of heaven, the beauty of heaven, and how we will all go someday when we die if we make good choices; if not, we will burn for eternity. I think parents paint this picture so it’s not as scary for the child, even though they also might be terrified of death. It’s easier to paint a picture of a magical place than to talk about death as an inevitable part of our being. I think that the way that Julianna’s parents did it was perfect. Even though I don’t believe in forcing religion on kids, I feel like using heaven or even just a made up place is just a good way to break it to kids so that way they have this place that they can imagine and they “ know” that some[one] is there waiting for them and that their other family members would come later. As for what parents should say, again, I just really liked how [Julianna’s] parents explained it to her and how she was able to understand it. I feel like it’s a good way to explain [death] to kids. Parents might broach the subject of death to a child with a terminal disease as Michelle did in the article. I think parents should follow the conversation that Michelle provided because it prepares the parent, but, most importantly, the child for where they might go when they can’t keep going or medical efforts have ceased. They might ask their child what they think of heaven, or where they would rather be if not confined to a hospital bed. Using the child’s imagination could serve as a way to help them be at ease if they think of a place they like to visit or feel safe. Parents should remind their child that they are not going to be alone, and their family and friends will be there for them. This could serve as a way to comfort the child and ease their worry. I ultimately believe parents—and ​­ if I myself decide to have children—should make efforts to put the child first. Com​­ fort them, make them feel safe, and give all the love we can give because it isn’t anyone’s fault for why the child [is] enduring a terminal illness. Children and, frankly, anyone who is enduring a terminal illness should be provided with medical assistance as well as emotional reassurance, because the fear of death is nerve-wrecking and could possibly worsen their condition. I think the way that Julianna’s parents approached [Julianna] with the subject of death was a good strategy. I think relaying the facts in a sort of cushioned way is the best way to talk about death with a child. Her parents told her that she would be without her family for a while if she decided to go

Religion and Tragic Deaths: The Death of Young Children  99 without further treatment. Without lying to her, the parents sugarcoated the facts. Parents should say: “You will probably pass on to something else soon. But we will be with you after,” so that a child can feel secure with his or her condition. I believe the conversation of death should be open with the child because it will make them fear what will happen to them. [Parents] should answer all the questions the child may have, even if the child asks if they may die, and answer [the questions] honestly. The parents should tell the child exactly what happens when they die and how it will be like and, based on their faith, speak on the afterlife. They should do this so the child is not left in the dark about what is happening to them. The child may fear the changes in their bodies if they do not know what is happening. I can’t imagine what they should say, but I think that I would allude to heaven a lot so that it would be less scary to the child. I don’t want my child to be afraid. I think religion is a very powerful tool for comfort, so I would likely have the conversation of death, under the mutual assumption that the child would go to heaven to provide more comfort. Parents should tell children the truth about what would happen so that they are aware. Depending on the age, it may be difficult due to [the child’s cognitive] capacity to understand, but if they continue to have the same response, then that means that they are comprehending the message. It’s best to let them know that for right now it will be them leaving the family, but then one day they will all see each other again. In all honesty I think that the way Julianna’s parents handled it was great. I think that leaving your child in the dark about the situation is horrible because the child ends up feeling alone during this hard time in their life when they should feel like they have all the support of the parent. The idea of heaven is a comforting one because you can tell your child that they will have everything they ever wanted in heaven and not be in pain, which can bring peace and calm the child’s nerves. I truly don’t know if that could bring the child any reassurance because explaining to a child that they won’t get to grow up and live a long a prosperous life is probably the hardest thing a parent might have to do. The parent should be as honest as they can but also make sure the child feels safe and isn’t scared of what is coming. Getting assistance from a death counselor would help the child get mentally prepared for what is coming as well as help the family too. I believe that parents should tell their dying child exactly what Julianna’s mother, Michelle, told her. She will go to heaven, but she will not be alone, she will be happy and healthy, reunited with friends and family that are already in heaven, and she will see her family once again when it is their

100  Religion and Tragic Deaths: The Death of Young Children turn to go to heaven. I think this is the best way to speak to your terminally ill child because they won’t be as scared. They will know they are going to a happy place, with no more doctors or pain. I feel the way Michelle approached the subject to her daughter was great. She explained it very well and it almost made me be more comfortable with death even though it scares me. I know a lot of children around the world are with illnesses that cannot be cured. It is very sad. I am sure many parents had to have this talk, and, honestly, they approached it how Michelle did with her daughter. They should tell them that you will see them again in heaven and, guess what? You will be free from pain. You will be able to visit Disney World whenever you want, and grandpa will be there with you. I think this is the best way to put no fear in the child and they could leave this earth in peace surrounded by loved ones. How a parent might raise the subject of death to a child with a terminal disease is explain what they believe happens after death. Parents should tell the child what life would be like once they pass and where they go and who they will see and what they will do. This is a way for children to see that it is okay to die and to not be afraid of dying because they won’t be alone after death. I think it is important to tell a child that mommy and daddy won’t be there when they die because it is not their time yet. Explaining that not everyone dies at the same time is important because it might confuse a child why they are dying and [why] mommy and daddy aren’t coming with them. Telling a child that one day they will see mommy and daddy again will allow them to know everyone does go to heaven or somewhere when they die. Parents should say that they are going to leave their family for a while, but they will see each other later. I think explaining what happens after death is so important to tell a dying child because it gives them the sense of hope that they won’t always be without family forever, [and] that even when they die, a “goodbye” isn’t forever; it’s more of a “I will see you soon goodbye.” I think Julianna’s parents did a great job really explaining to Julianna what will happen when she dies, and I think it seemed to make Julianna understand that it will be okay. The article says Julianna is still scared of dying, but she has now demonstrated an understanding, which is what you hope your child will encounter when faced with such a terrible decision and talk [about the death and dying process], especially at such a young age. I really loved how Julianna planned her future in heaven and the arrival of her parents once they get there. I think this a great way to raise the subject of death to a child with a terminal disease. If the child does not really understand what death is, I would not explain it to them. But if it is a situation like Julianna’s, where she has a decent understanding of what death is, then I would do something similar to what Julianna’s parents did—telling ​­ her that she would be in heaven and how

Religion and Tragic Deaths: The Death of Young Children  101 it is a great place for her to be. Even if you don’t believe in the afterlife, I think if there was a child dying you should tell them they are going to heaven just to lift up their spirits a little. I think it depends on if you are religious or not. Since I am religious, I would talk to the child about how they are going to go up to heaven, where they will be healthy and happy and able to do things they can’t do right now. I would tell them that they will be with us again soon. God put them on this earth to bring joy to our lives and they have fulfilled that purpose, so now it’s time to go back to heaven with God. A parent might broach the subject of death to a child with a terminal disease by discussing what heaven is and looks like. How god takes care of all people on earth and in heaven. Then start to discuss how death can be like when they are surrounded by love. It can be a hard discussion, without a doubt, because you don’t know how to start it, but sometimes the child could already have an idea about what’s to come. Tell them what a terminal illness is and how they will try everything they can to expand their life to be with loved ones until they can’t do no more or the child wants more of a say about what they want next. The parents should say to their dying child: PARENT: So, remember how we’ve been talking about heaven, how it looks and

the amazing things you can do there? CHILD: Yes. PARENT: Well,

the next time you get sick, there might be a smaller chance of you surviving, no matter how hard we try to get you to feel better from it. CHILD: I might go to heaven? PARENT: If we don’t take you back to the hospital and stay home in your comfy room and with your family, yes, you will. But we can go back to the hospital to treat you and maybe help you keep you alive for a bit longer. CHILD: I can stay home. Will you guys go to heaven with me? PARENT: Sadly, no, but that doesn’t mean you’ll be going to heaven alone. You will see a lot of people in heaven. You’ll see grandpa, the dog, other babies like you who were sick. Lots of people who you can play with. CHILD: But not you guys. PARENT: No, not yet. But I will see you there eventually. We just never know when. CHILD: I’ll wait for you there. PARENT: Now, I want to ask you: If you get sick again, would you want to go back to the hospital and be treated [so you can]live with us here on earth for a bit longer, or would you want to stay home in your own comfy room, with us around you but there’s a chance you’ll be going to heaven soon after? What would you like to do?

102  Religion and Tragic Deaths: The Death of Young Children CHILD:

I’m ready.

In the article, the mother makes it a little better for Julianna’s thoughts on death by letting her know who will meet her in her afterlife and that is something I would do, as well to lead the conversation and to include the image of heaven. Parents should tell their dying child that heaven is a place where we go when sick and [we] reunite with family and friends who have already left us. I would say [it] like the mother in the article, and let it be known if the child does not go to the hospital to get help, she will go to heaven. I appreciate the way Julianna’s mother broke down death and dying to her. I would not know what’s the best way of discussing death with a child with a terminal disease, but I come from a religious family, so I would explain to my child, first, if they were aware of the severity of their disease. Then I would explain to the child how God will be awaiting them in open arms and they will visit heaven soon, and they will never be alone and soon we will all be together. By telling a child all of this, you are providing them comfort and a bit of light in a tunnel that seems dark. It’s often better, to be honest, with a kid than to lie to them. Children are more aware than you know. They are smarter and pick up on emotions. In a situation like this, it’s best to just try to prepare the child and make them feel at peace. I would explain death to a child in a light- hearted way. I would explain to the child that there is a place like heaven where all the kids play and I would go further to explain to the child that when their illness becomes too much, they will fly to another universe where they will no longer feel sick or suffer like they are on earth. I wouldn’t create any negative context behind death and would want the child to enjoy the time he/she has left in peace. A parent should let the child know that there is a heaven out there that they will go to and to let them come up with their own imagination of what heaven is. One (1) student felt that God’s role should be emphasized, along with heaven. This is an extremely hard question and one that I pray I never have to be in this position with my own child or any child for that matter. Parents might broach the subject of death to a child with a terminal illness by first explaining how certain illnesses, and other matters, can cut a person’s life short. No one knows for sure exactly how long they will live and sadly some [lives] are cut shorter than others, but this doesn’t mean that they should live any differently. They can ensure them that once a person passes away that they will be in a magical place that looks like and is

Religion and Tragic Deaths: The Death of Young Children  103 made up of the most magical and happiest things that they can think of. Explain how they will be able to things that they are currently incapable of doing, due to the illness, as well as other activities they enjoy doing as long and as much as they’d like when they are there. I believe that a part of this is ensuring the child that they will never be alone while there, and will be seeing other relatives that have passed and love her very much. If the child asks questions [about] why they parents won’t be there or [when they are expected to ] arrive, they can guarantee them that they, too, will be there soon with her, faster than she knows it, but [she] will be taken care of by other loved ones there until the time comes. I believe God should be mentioned and discussed about his love and sacrifices made for us. The word and power of God is one that holds much strength and meaning. They could then explain in a gentle manner that the illness they have is one that brings you to this magical place a little sooner than normal but that they will happier and feel better than ever. The main focus would be making the child feel as comfortable, safe, and fearless as possible. Death is a scary fact, in general, that can be much more scarier, complicated, and confusing to children.

A Toned-Down Version of Heaven Four (4) students felt that introducing the concept of heaven to a dying child was appropriate, though they recommended a toned- down version of heaven. I think it is important that the child understands that death is inevitable and happens to everyone. It is important for them to know what death is and what happens. I think the parents in the article did a fine job, just need to tone down the glorification of heaven as heaven seemed more fun than earth. I think parents need to ensure death is nothing to be afraid of. [I]f your child has a terminal illness, you need to be honest. No religious fables of afterlife playgrounds and candy, no sugarcoating it. If those are your beliefs, they can certainly come into play after, but don’t use that as the lead-in. Instead of saying: “You’re going to heaven to see grandma and all our dogs, etc., etc.” and making dying seem like a fun thing, a joyous occasion, why not say something else—for ​­ example: “Unfortunately, you’re very sick, and you won’t have the chance to live as long as your friends. In the meantime, we all love you, and are here for you, whatever you need or want.” Obviously this is a bit lax in regards to the description, but you try to accommodate the child as long as you can. There are helpful organizations and people who love to give out money to terminal children, and as ghoulish as I may sound, it would be best to utilize those resources, give the child the best remainder of life they can, as long as you can. After

104  Religion and Tragic Deaths: The Death of Young Children the main talk is done, you can talk about whatever paradise you believe in, and assuage the child’s fear. Parents should introduce the concept the same way Michelle did with Julianna. They need to understand it in a PG type of way so the severity and concept of heaven and hell isn’t too clouded, but they should understand, if they are Christian, what [it] means to die or [have your life taken]. But they should not say lies about the child’s condition and illness, as that might give false hope and leave the child heartbroken when expectations are not met. Then again, the concept of heaven is delightful, but [it] may be seen as deceiving or lying to your child in other people’s eyes. It is difficult to say what should or should not be said to a child with a terminal illness, but dying is dying. Regardless of age, they should know what is happening and what is expected and what their options are, because they are the one receiving the care. To Julianna, being in a hospital isn’t quality living and she would rather spend her dying time with her family. I believe that it’s truly very difficult to explain the magnitude of life and death to a child. I think they should have explained to the daughter that they’d be going to sleep for a long time. I am a religious person, but what if there is no heaven? That’s what they should explain a little to the daughter too

Heavenless Five (5) students were averse to painting the dying and death process in heavenly terms, though to varying degrees. Though religious faith gives comfort to those who believe, I am a skeptic and I know that there is no way of knowing what truly happens after death until the time comes. Religion was never imposed upon me growing up, and, personally, I would not bring religion into a child’s life. Julianna is very young and impressionable, so I think that the promise of a glorious, pain-free heaven is obviously more alluring than a boring, stark hospital. I’m not sure if Julianna’s decision is well-informed, but it is from her heart. She gets to be a princess every day as she looks forward to a believed brighter future. She is happy and perhaps that’s all that really matters. Broaching the subject of death with a child is not an abstract concept for me. My sister lost her husband to drugs almost 3 years ago; her children were 2, 4, and 6 at the time. I still have yet to speak much about their father’s death directly to them because my sister has established the narrative “Your Dad’s in Heaven.” My sister is not religious. However, she feels that this is best for their ages. I prefer to be honest, but I can’t express much of my beliefs for fear of challenging the narrative. Unfortunately, I

Religion and Tragic Deaths: The Death of Young Children  105 believe my sister’s approach will backfire eventually. If I were to talk to a terminally ill child, I would explain that death is permanent and no one knows for certain what death really means. I would then go on to explain various religious belief systems and explain that some people believe this and some believe that. Yet, I’m still conflicted as I write this. If the child is too young to understand these concepts, is lying and saying they will definitely go somewhere beautiful and amazing ethically sound? Is a lie in order to give a child peace of mind in their last days a noble lie? I honestly don’t know. Again, I think the age of the child is critical, as is the nature of their illness. If they need comfort in the face of extreme suffering, should we deny them hope, even if it turns out to be false? From the article, it seems Julianna’s parents took the religious route and talked about heaven and God and all that jazz. I think the subject of death, when it comes to children, should be frank and honest, but not in a way that is going to deceive or scare them. For example, I would tell my children, “When our time is up on this earth, we become a part of her again, like those who came before us.” I can actually remember when my exboyfriend told me that his nephew, who was just a 3 - or 4 -year- old at the time it happened, was told that “Grandma went on a trip” when she died (my ex’s mother). Even before the end of our relationship, this little boy still believed that his grandma was away on a trip and he was 8– 9 last I checked—this ​­ is an age where kids have a more concrete understanding of death. He isn’t mature enough to know the truth, that his grandmother was actually deceased? All in all, parents should approach the subject with caution, but not deceiving or misinforming the child. It all depends on the level at which the child at any given age can understand things because the reality is, everyone is different. I feel most parents would tell their kids they’re sick and it would be similar to what Julianna’s parents said to her. Her parents told her she would be going to heaven after she died, where she would be with God and her grandparents. I would also try to be honest with them and say that everyone dies at some point in life and it’s just a part of life. Many kids die from illnesses such as leukemia and other forms of cancer so I would tell them that other kids fight similar diseases just like Julianna. I can’t assume whether this would comfort a child or not but it just informs them that they are not the only one in their fight. Parents should broach the subject of death to a child with a terminal disease by saying that death means they will no longer be in pain. Although I personally would take a less religious approach when talking about death than Steve and Michelle did, I think that the idea of death as being a freedom from physical pain in your life….is important to tell a child so that they won’t fear death.

106  Religion and Tragic Deaths: The Death of Young Children

Explaining Death and Dying through a Religious Lens as a Possibility A total of 33 students were not sure how they would explain death and dying to a dying child but indicated that religious explanations certainly were possible. If the parent had brought their child up on religion like Julianna’s parents did, they can talk to their child about where their religion goes after they pass. I think the parents should, in a way, be upfront with their child. There is no point in sugarcoating it. Death is inevitable for everyone and even though they are a child, they should know that once you die, you do not come back. Nobody goes with you. I think Julianna’s parents did a great job talking to their daughter about dying. I personally don’t know how a parent might approach the topic of death to a child with a terminal illness. I think if you have a religious faith, I think you could use that as a guiding point for where you would want to go with a conversation with a child with a terminal illness. Personally, I would reach out to a palliative/end- of-life worker who specializes in work with children for guidance on this issue if I was in that situation. This is another aspect of terminal diseases that may depend on age. [In] this particular [circumstance], the parents did a great job of explaining what will happen if the doctors can’t help her. They almost made heaven seem fun, because she will be able to do the things like run, see her greatgrandmother, and not feel sick anymore if she is in heaven. I think the best way to broach the subject of death would be to be completely honest with the child, and books are the best way to explain things so serious to children at a young age. I think a parent might want to go about the subject of death to a terminally ill child lightly yet seriously at the same time. They should explain to the child how the disease that they have is something the doctors aren’t able to fix fully. Slowly start to introduce the idea of death and what dying means. If heaven is something a family believes in, they can use that to help their child through it. Parents can help describe death however is fit to their culture or religion. Yet, I think it should still be explained in a dumbed down lighter version so the child doesn’t fear death, but becomes more comfortable with the idea of dying. This is probably the most unanswerable question because every child is different, and every family dynamic is different. Some families you may be able to ease into death using religion like Julianna’s family did. I know that in my house, we are religious and my daughters understand that we

Religion and Tragic Deaths: The Death of Young Children  107 won’t always be able to physically be there for [them], but we will always be in their hearts and as long as you truly remember someone, you will never truly be gone. So, in order to talk to a child with a terminal disease about the subject of death, you must use your own family dynamic. I know that if I had to talk to my daughter about a terminal diagnosis of a disease she had, I would talk to her about heaven and God and Jesus Christ and tell her that there is a plan for everyone and that we all will see each other in a blink of an eye. I would talk about how much God loves us and that we will all be united again when God decides that it is our time to join you. So while I can only give a basic idea of what I would say, I truly believe that anyone in this situation would have something different to say and in the moment would understand how to tell their own child about death and dying. Religion and spirituality will most likely play a role in the conversation, like it did in the article, to comfort and reassure the child and even the caregivers. The discussion will obviously vary, especially depending on if the family is religious or not. If they are religious they should talk about what death is and where they believe the soul goes after death. They should find ways to comfort the child on the topic of their journey to the afterlife. Let them know that they are never going to be alone. Now if the family isn’t religious, it can be a harder topic to talk to a child about because what hope do you give the child for after their death. I would again discuss what death is and maybe give some examples and also talk about their condition and why that means they might die. I think that maybe it would help to have the child picture their own happy place an tell them that that is where they will be going when they pass. I would say there are many wrong ways to discuss this topic with children, but there certainly is no right way. It’s the question of how do we talk to a child in a comforting way about the most uncomfortable, uncertain, unknown idea that there is. Is creating an idea of heaven for a child’s comfort the same as teaching them that there is a tooth fairy? I don’t know the answer to these questions. The answer may be that faith and fantasy are survival tactics. However, I plan to teach my children someday that though there is no certainty, because I think honesty is important, though this may change if I become more religious or experience more in the spiritual realm, and I have experienced signs and proof that those who have gone are still here somehow in different ways, and that energy does not die. I could also see myself telling my child that their late loved ones will be there when they pass away, much like Julianna’s mother did. I have absolutely no idea how I would navigate this conversation in actuality; it hurts my heart to think about.

108  Religion and Tragic Deaths: The Death of Young Children Religion comes into play when deciding how to approach a child about death because some may be religious and explain God and heaven to them like Julianna’s parents, while others may not be as religious. I think parents should be upfront with the subject. They should tell them about what they believe happens after death but also the beliefs of other religions, that their beliefs aren’t everyone’s. I think it’s only right to tell them that there isn’t such concrete evidence to attest their faith, no matter how strongly one believes their religion to be true. There is a possibility of nothingness when one dies, so I think it’s important for a parent to disclose that with the child. Because everyone parents differently, it is up to both parents what they choose to say and/or not to say to their terminally ill child. I do think that every parent should introduce death to their terminally ill child how Michelle and Steve did, but not everyone is religious. Not everyone believes in heaven and they may not want their child to believe in heaven. That is the choice they have as parents to decide how they discuss that. Furthermore, I believe every parent who has a terminally sick child needs to tell their child what could happen to them whatever the parents think their child should hear at that young age so [their child] understand[s] is [the parents’] choice to make. This would be incredibly tough and would depend heavily on the age of the child and the beliefs of the family. Let’s imagine I have a child and I’m the one dealing with this. I am a deeply spiritual person, but I am not religious. I would sit down with them and try my best to explain to them what death is. I would maybe read them stories or show them movies where a character dies to give them some understanding that it is an end. That means we are no more. Then I would explain that their soul will come back to this spiritual plain. I would explain that since we love each other so much, our souls will always be together. Writing this now I’m not even sure this is the proper approach to take. What I believe and how I believe it is hard to explain to a child. Telling them of heaven would be easier, but the last thing I would want to do is lie to my child about what I believe life after death truly is. Alas, I would explain that they would have a next life, that our lives and souls will continue to be intertwined and that I will see them again soon. It would probably be the hardest conversation I would ever have and I hope I never have to have it. I think the way the parents in the article described death to their daughter was one of the best ways, especially if you are religious. I think that if you aren’t religious, then just explaining to them what death is—for ​­ example, [saying, ] “Some people get really sick or old and they stop being alive, and it’s really sad but it happens to everyone.” Parents could also mention [the

Religion and Tragic Deaths: The Death of Young Children  109 concept of an afterlife] or becoming ghosts, going to heaven, or just not existing anymore. I think it would be important to tell them that we don’t know what happens, but instead let them decide what they think happens. I think it’s important to find a doctor who is able to help describe the illness to a child. If your child believes in heaven and can understand what dying means, then you should have a conversation about their wishes. I think that parents should tell them all circumstances: there is no treatment, you may live on life-support for the rest of your life, you may have no quality of life, you may be hooked up to machines forever, you may never eat, etc. (whatever their situation may be specifically) and then ask them whether they want to continue to fight, or if they are ready to die. If they are able to have a conversation about it, and what [that] means, you should take into consideration their wishes. No parent wants to watch their child suffer for their whole, and often short life. I think it is important to know there is absolutely nothing that can be done to save them, rather just keep them alive. Ultimately, I think every conversation with every child will be different but it should be up to parents whether they want to consider their child’s wishes. I think parents should base it on a lot of what they believe, especially if faith is involved. I think parents should start by asking the child what they think happens and gauge how they should respond from there. I do think any potentially frightening aspects should be addressed, such as in this case when Julianna asks if she will go to heaven alone. I think her parents handled that question with grace by honestly telling her, yes, she would go alone but then people would be waiting for her and then everyone else would be joining her later. I think parents should keep the conversation age- appropriate and use their own instincts on how much of the subject their child comprehends. I think that the parents in this situation did a really good job of explaining to their child and I really liked their approach to the situation. I think that the important thing is to meet the child where they are at and understand how they would interpret the question. I think approaching it as delicately and positively as possible so that the child does not become upset is imperative. I think explaining the situation in terms that the child will understand is really important, and explaining the next steps in regard to whatever religion is your own belief is really a good way to approach the situation. This way, the child feels, hopefully, more comfortable with the situation at hand. I think parents of a child with a terminal disease should broach the subject of death to their child in a soft and simple way, by starting with explaining the terminal disease and what it means for a disease to be terminal. They

110  Religion and Tragic Deaths: The Death of Young Children should explain how they see death and how it is not always a terrible thing. I believe that, like the Snow family, if parents believe in any form of heaven or after life, they should familiarize their children with it, so they have hope of seeing their family members and friends again. I think that this subject is an extremely hard subject to explain to a child, but I also think the way parents go about it depends on the maturity of the child. If the child is old enough to understand and ask questions, parents should be more straightforward, but if the child is young and may not understand or be fearful, the parents should use more faith and be a little simpler in their explanation. A parent should not give terminally ill children this information in a way that scares them. A parent should give them this information in a way that will comfort them. You might have to tell a child that they are going to heaven first but you’ll be following suit soon. You might have to tell them they are going to a magic place, but in that place everything is going to be alright. Just present the information of a death in a way that will make them a little bit less scared. This way they can live life without worrying about death so much. I believe that parents should broach the subject of death to a child with a terminal disease based on their own cultural customs and beliefs. For instance, if taken the religious approach, parents would explain heaven to their kids and say things like: “Heaven is a wonderful paradise that we will all transition to at one point in time.” If the parents are non-religious, they could approach death from the pain and suffering approach. A non-religious parent may say, “When you die, the pain and suffering will stop, you will no longer be here, but you will no longer be in agony.” Both types of parents may also explain to their dying child that their body is stopping to work, but that everything will be ok. On the other hand, parents should never say things like “I do not know what will happen after death,” because even if that is true, that will just scare a young child. The reason why I believe that a terminal ill child should be spoken to with love and care is because they need to be comforted and at peace regardless of the parent’s beliefs. I feel that parents should bring up the subject of death to their child with a terminal disease by talking to them about how everything is going to be okay and that they will one day see them again depending on the religion they believe in. The parents of the child should talk about how they will be pain-free after all is over and how their suffering will finally come to a stop. If the family believes in a religion, then I would start the conversation there. Personally, I am not religious so I would speak about it in a more simple way. I think that parents having this conversation with their child need to make sure that they understand that dying means that they are no longer going to be on this earth anymore. There will be no more breathing, blinking, seeing,

Religion and Tragic Deaths: The Death of Young Children  111 or thinking. You can’t see or hug your family anymore. You can’t feel. But I would want to also try to comfort them by saying that their energy would stay around us, and that there are endless possibilities on what their energy could be. I think that it would be extremely hard to have this conversation with a child, and personally I don’t feel that I truly have an answer to this question, but I think that it is important for the parents to be as honest with their child as possible about the realities of their situation. Parents can broach the subject of death to a child with a terminal disease in a few ways, but it all depends on the child’s maturity level and level of understanding. They could take the route Julianna’s parents used, where they speak of it as “going to heaven” and not so much as “ dying,” or parents could be straightforward and give the facts about dying—whichever ​­ the child could handle. But I think observation is the first key to broaching the subject, as observing the child will give parents an idea of how much the child can handle hearing about death. I think the best option is to always be honest and open about every subject. Us adults tend to underestimate children and try to shield them from the cruel parts of life, but I think the way in which things are said is what makes the difference. I think the best approach would be to first explain what the disease is and its effects, then let the child ask questions and answer them honestly but gently. Lastly, whatever religion or belief the parents have about what happens when someone dies should be explained to them showing the strongest conviction that it will really happen so that they can believe too and have that little hope. Death is a very touchy subject and I believe that trying to interpret it for a child to understand is incredibly difficult. Parents could either just come out with the concept of dying or explain it in religious terms. For just coming out and explaining death, parents could describe it as when the body stops functioning and you’re in a mental state of nothingness because you can’t breathe, think, or do any other activity. This simply just means that you, as the child, won’t be able to do anything and that your body and mind is not alive or reacting to anyone or thing. They could also explain it in terms of religion, which is much like how the parents of this article did. However, stories and concepts would change depending on religion. I think parents should broach the subject of death to a child with terminal illness however they see fit and feel comfortable doing. They may tell the child that when people die, they go to heaven or tell the child that no one truly knows what happens when people die. I believe my opinion should not influence what decision parents make about talking about death with their child unless the parents ask me about it. My thought is simply that families can decide what is best for them and their families.

112 Religion and Tragic Deaths: The Death of Young Children I think the way that they [Julianna’s parents] approached the subject is perfect honestly. If it were me having the conversation, I don’t personally believe in heaven so I wouldn’t lie to them and pretend to know what I’m talking about, but I would say they wouldn’t be in so much pain anymore. I would inform a kid of different culture’s beliefs and tell them they will get to find out for themselves one day if one is particularly right, at least for them. Having a religious background, I feel, makes discussing the concept of death easier because death is not viewed as an end but another step on the journey to the afterlife. I do not have a religious background, so the way I would approach [it would be different]. I would say that death doesn’t have to be scary. It is something that every person on this earth will go through. I would say that some people take their whole lives to make an impact and that others are able to make theirs in a short amount of time and that’s okay. I would lastly say that it is okay to be scared, and to not be worried about those who will still be on this earth, that everything will be okay, and they would be loved unconditionally even after death. They could refer to death as “going to heaven” or “passing on.” By making death sound like a transfer of energy to another location and not like an absolute and definite end, the children will be less likely to be frightened and overwhelmed. It’s hard to say how a parent should go about talking to a child about their terminal illness. However, I think that Michelle and Steve have gone about it the right way. They made it known that she would not be with them, and that it means she will go to heaven. I think based on religious beliefs, parents should go about it differently, but your child should know that the disease they have is going to kill them and that they are loved no matter what. I honestly would say it depends on the different families. For me, I would heavily also speak about my faith and what that looks like for us after death. Also, I would pray and explain to my child they have no fault for what is happening, they did nothing wrong, and could not have done anything different. I feel that with not only children but adults too, shaming is like an innate reaction to difficult situations. However I cannot say that is that way for everyone. I do respect everyone’s processing/beliefs with death and afterlife.

Reference Cohen, Elizabeth. 2015. “Heaven Over Hospital: Parents Honor Dying Child’s Request.” CNN. Retrieved October 27 (https://www.cnn.com/2015/10/27/health/girl-chooses-heaven-over-hospital-part-2/index.html).

6

Reflections on Life, Death, and Religion

In this chapter, students reflect on life and death, drawing in religion in their assessment of scathing obituaries published in newspapers, the meaning of life, and what makes them happy. For some students, God and/or religion (or their faith) were integral parts of their life purpose, and it was one major factor that contributed to their happiness, both in the past and present.

Brutally Honest Obituaries The primary purpose of an obituary is to publicly announce the death of an individual. Secondary objectives include relaying the details of the funeral services (if there is one) and/or providing a tribute to the decedent. Because obituaries often serve as tributes to the decedents, they tend to present the decedent and the decedent’s life in primarily, if not exclusively, positive terms. Indeed, one former obituary writer acknowledged the tendency to “lionize people the instant they’re no longer with us, immediately forgetting their flaws” (Garcia 2017). People may argue, “What difference does that make? The person is dead.” Therefore, overly glowing obituaries, which tend to have a positive bias anyway, do not matter. Obituaries, however, are biographical sketches in many respects. They should be factually accurate and present the decent in an accurate, honest way. On the other hand, obituaries, too, are meant to breathe life into people who are no longer alive. Obituaries do so through the biographical sketches—by detailing noteworthy contributions and achievements by the decedent and, on occasion, by calling attention to the decedent’s often humorous quirks and idiosyncrasies, thereby providing some human-ness to someone who is no longer alive. Because the biographical sketches in obituaries are meant to breathe life into someone who is no longer alive, they intentionally will focus on the positive, healthy, and joyful contributions the decedent made. Not only do obituaries breathe life into those who passed but they also preserve their life through published memories. Because preservation is one of the key functions of obituaries, factual accuracy in the obituary content becomes essential. The factual inaccuracies of some overly glowing

DOI: 10.4324/9781003353249-6

114  Reflections on Life, Death, and Religion obituaries, however, may not sit well with some of the decedent’s survivors, along with other people who may have crossed the decedent’s path when s/ he was alive. The overly positive and factually incorrect obituaries may be perceived as disingenuous, if not duplicitous. In turn, they may add salt to the survivors’ wounds by delegitimizing the hidden traumas experienced by some survivors at the hands of the decedent. This is particularly the case if the obituary paints the decedent as though s/ he were a saint who did no wrong in life and, therefore, can do no wrong in death. Obituaries, in all likelihood, are not balanced; indeed, they tip in favor of presenting the decedents in a positive if not glowing light. However, what if the decedent had few, if any, redeeming qualities? An assignment in my death and dying class required that students read two scathing obituaries written by the survivors of extremely abusive family members. Students were then to address whether they could see themselves writing a brutally honest obituary for a family member or someone else they personally knew. Only four (4) responses contained religious dimensions, albeit in different forms. One respondent felt that religion dictated that grievances should be kept private and not aired. In my own personal opinion, I would not write a brutally honest obituary solely because, in my religion’s view, a person should be laid to rest with the utmost respect. Things that happened behind closed doors should stay behind closed doors; the world does not need to know what is happening. Although in some cases, it is believed [that] “ honesty works best.” In this case [with the brutally honest obituaries), it is not the instant reaction that is needed. Another respondent stressed forgiveness. As someone who has experienced abuse in multiple ways as a child, I can understand the desire to write such things, but I really do not think I ever could. Maybe I say that now because I have not fully worked through the trauma of my childhood, but as a young woman of faith I would pray they be forgiven. I do think evil exists in this world, but I strongly believe that we have power within ourselves to overcome and see what others have been through, [but] to be clear, that does not mean I excuse it. In my case, a very close family member has been abusive for the majority of my life, but I still love her and here’s why. For the amount I have endured, she experienced it a thousand times worse and she really has tried to be better and do better but often still falls upon the way she was raised. But I respect her for trying to do better. I try to really see and understand the whole person, and maybe these people do deserve the things written about them, [but] that is not for me to decide. But what I do know at this moment is that as a woman of faith, I could not in good conscience write an obituary like that for anyone.

Reflections on Life, Death, and Religion  115 Another respondent also felt that grievances should not be publicized so openly. The student added that people have the right to die “respectfully.” This student further noted that regardless of indiscretion or even crime, people can be forgiven. In fact, she pointed out that certain religions absolve sins. At first I almost thought it was a bad joke until I continued reading on. In fairness to the family/children involved, I’m saddened to hear that they had to grow up in the environment that they did and all that they endured from their parents. Children should “never” have to be exposed to this horrific behavior by anyone, let alone a parent. They have been scarred for life with their memories of physical and mental abuse that takes years of therapy to, hopefully, work through to come to terms that none of this was their fault….On the opposite end of this was the scathing obituary that was written in both situations that, I believe, should not have been delivered to the public in this way. Every human being deserves the right to die respectfully. They didn’t come into this world with evil, but somewhere through their own past experiences and/or mental illness, they wronged others along the way. Even murderers being put to death are given last rights by a priest or prayers by other religious leaders. As part of the sacrament, it includes confession and an absolution of sins. Another student felt that only God is the judge, and that karma awaits evildoers in the afterlife. Some families forgive their loved one’s faults; yet, there are some who do not forgive and choose not to forget. One reaction mentioned in the video explaining [the] controversial obituary said, “Only God can judge.” I believe in this statement because sometimes karma doesn’t get around to even the most evil people. When these type of individuals pass over, I personally believe that their karma is waiting for them on the other side. However, I believe that both of families had the right to say the truth about their mother and father. After all, it was said that [one of the decedents] hated liars.

The Meaning of Life If death is a process that occurs to a living being, then the existence of death necessarily implies the existence of life. As part of the death and dying class, students were asked about the meaning of life and what they thought was the purpose of living. Religious elements were evident in 16 student responses, although four responses were a bit peripheral, if not tangential, to the ­meaning-of-life ­​­­ ​­ question. One student spoke of life’s purpose as deepening her religious faith when she stated the following:

116  Reflections on Life, Death, and Religion I believe that the purpose of life is to learn about my faith and grow deeper in the knowledge of what it means to be a Christian. At least two students spoke of “glorifying God” or “honoring God” as life’s purposes, as indicated in the following comments: For me, the meaning of life is to simply glorify God and enjoy life. First and foremost, I strive to glorify God in all my actions and the words I speak. I also want to find joy in life. For me, this means enjoying my relationship with God, myself, my family and friends. In other words, what is the purpose of living? As a woman who is strong in her Christian beliefs, I believe the purpose of living is to share God’s love and compassion. When I reflect on the purpose of living, I think of the acronym JOY. To find joy in my everyday life, I must strive to serve Jesus first, others, and lastly, you (referring to myself). I also find purpose to learn and grow as an individual, and to leave a legacy of love and knowledge. Of course, as I continue to learn more about myself and others, my outlooks could change in time. However, this is my current purpose of living and I am very passionate about it. The purpose of living to me is religious. We are here to serve a purpose and the meaning of life is what a person chooses to make it. I personally believe that we are here to learn good and bad and to test our own abilities as to how far we can get in life. I also believe that we are here to learn how to honor God and not for the materialistic things, such as a huge house or a car of the year. The purpose of living is to experience happiness and joy with those around us. I believe that what we do in our current life determines what happens when we die. It’s all a test to see whether we are worthy of God and if we will be accepted by him in the afterlife depending on if we served him or not. Serving others, couched in religious terms, was a common theme. I was raised Christian and my parents taught me to live a life serving others. The phrase, “What would Jesus do?” was often thrown around, sometimes in a joking manner. Though I don’t practice Catholicism anymore, I do believe that living a life serving others is a life well spent. Many people think that if you serve others and get joy out of it or it’s just the right thing to do, then you’re serving for selfish reasons. If you get joy and happiness from doing good for others, then that means that you are using your gifts and talents to bring happiness to others. The purpose of life to me is [simply] having purpose. I believe most people can agree that we all have a purpose in life and we sometimes discover that purpose in school, work, for me church, or even home. One of the purposes of life to me is to live in a way that you can smile or laugh when you look back as you are older and think about it. The purpose of living

Reflections on Life, Death, and Religion  117 is to accomplish dreams and enjoy your success. To love and be loved, to help others, and to live the happiest you can live. For me personally [life’s purpose] is also to serve in the kingdom of God and use the gifts God gave me to bless of other people and show them His love. THAT is my purpose, and my purpose of living. I believe the meaning of my life is to make a difference in other people’s life. The meaning of life to me is to serve God’s purpose for my life. I believe that everyone in this world came to this world for a purpose, whether it is to glorify God with one’s life or to serves others, like God requires us to do so. I also believe that the meaning of life is to love others unconditionally, without expectations. Other students spoke of “God’s plan” for people in life. I think that there is an organized plan for each of us…although we have some “controls” over our life that are coincidences and occurrences that we are presented [as] from someone [else], something higher than us, to me this would be God’s plan. A variation of the “God’s plan” theme is that God has a purpose in the creation of man. In my opinion, the meaning of life is what we chose to give it. God had an intelligent purpose in creating us, which the purpose is the meaning of life. Life has so much meaning to it. Whether you choose how you want to live it is up to you, but I would like to live my life to the fullest and accomplish everything I possibly want to while I’m on earth. One student, though, did not believe that life was predetermined by a higher being. I believe there isn’t a purpose for us. I believe we are all here, all species, just existing. I also don’t believe there is a higher being or God, although, we can give our existence purpose— those purposes being driven by our moral compasses, what society deem to be ideal, what will keep the homo sapiens species flourishing, or searching for purpose through spirituality or questioning the universe. Every individual’s purpose for living is different, as well as what they deem meaningful. Another student was unsure of life’s purpose and whether living had anything to do with God. That is honestly a difficult question for me to answer. My religion has told me the purpose of life is to live for God. My schooling has taught me that

118  Reflections on Life, Death, and Religion life is just an ongoing process where organisms evolve from one another and grow and adapt in terms of their environment. What do I think the meaning of life is? I am not entirely sure, but I do have some ideas.

What Makes You Happy? One of the last assignments in the death and dying class asked students what made them happy, both in the present and in the past, and what would it take to make them happy. There were 13 mentions of religion (10 mentioning God specifically). The following are illustrative responses of what makes/ made students happy: God. Reconnecting with God. My relationship with God. ­ Jesus/My church. It doesn’t take a lot to make me happy. Spending time with my family makes me happy. A good book or movie makes me happy. Doing well in school and at work makes me happy. My faith in God is another source of my happiness, and my security in that faith allows me to stay joyful and optimistic through stressful or difficult situations.… [Things in recent times that have made me happy:] God, my family, success at school, a good day at work, my friends, music, stand- up comedy, a good movie, nice weather, the success of my friends and family. I see happiness similarly to how I imagine my ancestors to have seen it. As long as I have a good relationship with the Gods and my religion and a good relationship with my family and loved ones, I will feel happy and fulfilled. In addition to that, I also want to build a body of work that will not only make me happy in the process of creating it, but happy looking back at what I created. I’m a writer, so I get so happy when I am writing something I feel proud of, and then when I finish it and admire the work I did, I feel such a sense of elation. I believed that having God in my life makes me happy because He provides all my needs and I don’t have to worry about [what] tomorrow may bring, because at the end of the day, tomorrow is not guaranteed…I don’t think anything in this world can really satisfy me, because I will always want something else. I guess I will like to be living in a world where there is no more pain, no more killing, no more child abuse, no more poor people, no

Reflections on Life, Death, and Religion  119 more sickness, no crying, and no more sufferings, but that will never happen. That is why I say my joy does not come from this world or anything in this world but from God. [List 10 different things that has made you happy IN RECENT TIMES:] Growing in my relationship with God, completing school, time with family, travel, quietness, consistent income/job, healthy children, spending time with my church family, love, praying. Ten things that made me happy in the past were having friends, having cute clothes, owning technology appliances, having “enough” likes on my social media posts, buying things that I’ve wanted, music, my pets, seeing family, holidays, and going to church. Some students who elaborated on the specific sources of their happiness placed God at the center: I consider myself a happy person. I thank God every day for how far I have come, for my family, for my work, for my life. However, I believe that money is the foundation of that happiness. In order for me to have maintained my stability, I have sought new positions at work for more money, not interest. Seems as though money is the source of my happiness, but it does not make my happiness complete. I think that happiness, in general, is internal, but that we have control of it. Little things make me happy as I exaggerate them. Unfortunately, I also exaggerate the bad. I think that I would be happier if I were less of an extremist in this nature. Further, it would take me getting my act together and moving in a forward direction, rather than always dwelling on the immature past. In conclusion, it would take a blessing from a higher power, such as prayers from God and my dead relatives, to make me happy in an extended degree. Not much makes me happy because I know that I should be grateful for what God has given me for my life. I was given the necessities to be happy in my life and having material items and money won’t make me any happier than I am right now. I think that money does help to live more comfortably with a car and a house, with clothes on your back and food on the table, but it definitely isn’t everything to me.

Reference Garcia, Catherine. 2017. “I Used to Write Obituaries. Here’s What I Learned.” The Week. Retrieved June 21, 2022 (https://theweek.com/articles/697124/used­ ­ ­ ­ ­­ ­​­­write-obituaries-heres-what-learned). ­​­­ ­​­­ ­​­­ ​­

7

How College Students Use Religion to Comprehend Death

The data from this study suggest that for the religiously faithful, religion is a major agent in socializing meaning, values, and social norms. In addition, religion has helped students better understand both death events and the meaning and value of life. For some, this understanding has enabled a greater sense of coherence and order in the face of chaos, trauma, and grief. For others, however, death events increased their skepticism of religion. Various trends and patterns were evident in this study. The following sections discuss eight (8) patterns. First, students used religion as a guide for appropriate death behaviors. Second, some students relied on religion to help facilitate the meaning of death and life. Third, the debate continues on whether there is life after death. Fourth, some students turned to religion as a source of comfort as it provided ties to other human beings or else to a higher power. Fifth, some students turned to religion as a source of empowerment, often through the illusion of control. The sixth and seventh patterns focus on the religiously conflicted and active resistors of religion, respectively. Finally, there were students who acknowledged that religion may not have the answers to life’s pressing questions and concerns.

Religion as an Agent of Socialization: Delineating Appropriate Death Behaviors In this study, religion provided guidance on appropriate death behaviors— ­particularly, what not to do. Some students stressed, for instance, how their religion forbade self-harm and the taking of one’s own life. Similarly, some students felt that religion stressed forgiveness. As a result, very public scathing obituaries were felt not to be appropriate. Rather, for the students with strong religious convictions, personal grievances were best kept private and ought not to be aired in public in the form of published obituaries. Some, among the religious, also felt that even cruel people deserved to die respectfully. What more, at least one student noted that cruel people, too, warranted forgiveness, particularly when certain religions absolved sins.

DOI: 10.4324/9781003353249-7

How College Students Use Religion to Comprehend Death  121

Religion as a Resource for Understanding the Meaning of Death and Life Many students relied on their religion to interpret not only the meaning of death but also what might happen after death. Religion, thus, was used to make sense of death. For some students, religion provided some degree of comfort and meaning in that death did not signify an ultimate end. In some cases, death represented a “return home” or a respite from the earthly chaos. In other cases, religion provided hope and faith that their God would guide them in death when the time came. Still, other students took comfort in that death was something beyond their control; it was something that their God “allowed” to happen in his own time. In this study, not only did religion provide meaning about death and its aftermath but it also helped guide students about life’s purpose—that is, the meaning of life. The religiously faithful in this study spoke of life’s purpose as deepening their faith, glorifying God, and honoring God. In other words, for some students, life’s purpose was to serve as an example of their God, whether that is serving others in some capacity or else reflecting the presumed morals, values, and character of God and living a life that reflects God and his teachings. Also, even among believers who were not quite certain about the meaning of life, these believers felt that their God had a purpose or plan for them. Cranney (2013) found an association between belief in God and a sense of meaning. Specifically, in Cranney’s study, those who were confident in God’s existence reported a higher sense of purpose compared to nonbelievers, believers in a higher power, and those who believe but occasionally doubt. Why those who believe in God would have a greater sense of purpose in life, however, is unknown (Ibid.:644). Routledge et  al. (2017b) addressed Cranney’s (2013) question by noting the significance of religious “mentalizing” activities. As Routledge et al. observed, the cognitive processes involved in religion include believing that there is a God who created the earth and watches over humans. Such a belief assumes agency in nature (i.e., God purposefully created the world) and mental perspective taking (i.e., God cares about humans and wants to help them). Similarly, interpreting events and outcomes as divinely influenced requires people to “mentalize”—to not just imagine but conceive the possibility of—the presence of a supernatural agent or force (i.e., a God or guardian angels) with specific intentions, investments, and goals. Finally, religious behaviors such as praying require that people envision a spiritual force or deity who has agency, is invested in people’s lives and is empathetic to people (Ibid.:605). It is these “mentalizing” activities, Routledge et  al. (2017b) argued, that make life meaningful for religious believers. This is because people likely feel that being part of God’s plan and that higher forces are watching over them makes existence more purposeful and meaningful (Ibid.:606). ­

122  How College Students Use Religion to Comprehend Death The people who are most cognitively inclined toward religion receive the greatest “existential health benefits” from religiosity, Routledge et al. (2017b) argued. This is because those who are more religious seem to gain the most in terms of perceiving their life as meaningful. In their study, Routledge et al. found that highly religious college students with high “mentalizing” behavior were not only more likely to perceive their life as more meaningful, but they also were less likely to be searching for life’s meaning currently ( presumably because they already knew what the meaning of life was), and they also reported lower levels of crisis in terms of life’s meaning. Such outcomes may then suggest a positive link between high religious mentalizing and greater psychological and physical health (Ibid.:610). People invest in religion in part to meet meaning needs, whether that is the need for social connection or something larger. Congregational attendance and other religious behavior often are social in nature, as they help people meet their need to belong and to socially connect with others. This sense of belonging, coupled with the sense of community, contributes positively to life’s meaning (cf. Routledge et al. 2017a:781) or at least to one’s perception of the meaning of life. Religion’s supernatural component—the belief in a higher force (i.e., God)—may contribute to life’s meaning because the perceived presence of a higher force suggests that human lives and the rest of the world are interconnected and purposeful, irreducible to only the material. Moreover, religion provides some sense of order and meaning to believers in its emphasis on how everything—including unpredictable, uncontrollable, and undesirable experiences and events— are all part of a larger, meaningful plan that presumably is designed and shaped by supernatural agents (cf. Routlege et al. 2017a:781). Since these experiences and events are “part of the plan,” believers therefore can rest easy and be assured that there is a reason, a purpose, for why things happen, even if mortal humans are not privy to those reasons. In other words, believers can be comforted by the idea that during crises and tragedies, their suffering is not for naught. Nowhere is the significance of a supernatural force more evident than in times of major crises. In times of crises, the belief in the supernatural— a higher power that is usually divine— comes to the foreground. In fact, Routledge et al.’s (2017a) study revealed that when perceptions of the meaning of life were threatened, the belief in miraculous stories involving supernatural religious agents increased. The miracles provided evidence that there was a force (a God or guardian angel) watching over and protecting a human being (Ibid.:781). ­ This perception that one is being protected and cared for— even if it is by an empirically unproven entity—may have health implications. Studies have documented how perceptions of meaning are linked to reduced existential anxiety, greater quality of life, greater psychological well-being, more successful coping skills, and even lower mortality. How one perceives one’s life (meaning of life), moreover, is related to the ability to adapt to life stressors

How College Students Use Religion to Comprehend Death  123 (cf. Routledge et al. 2017a:781). The belief in a god, in this respect, seems to facilitate positive adaptive functioning. Finally, religious rituals and symbols are important to those with deep religious roots, even upon their own death. Indeed, many of the student respondents in this study underscored the importance of their religious identities; their religious backgrounds were meaningful and partly represented who they were. Thus, for these students, common were preferences for religious funeral services over secular ones, with a preference for clergy presiding over the services. Some students, however, desired a primarily religious funeral, though tempered on the religious elements. There also were some students who wanted some religious elements but did not want their funeral service to be entirely religious. One student wanted both religious and secular elements at his funeral service. In other cases, some students preferred a minimally religious service or else one that was entirely secular. At least one student appeared open to either a religious or secular funeral service. Religious symbols were important for the students who were active religious practitioners. These students opted for religious symbols (typically a cross) as casket adornments. Other students wished for religious music to be played at their own imagined funerals, while others requested prayers. A small handful of religious students requested specific passages from the Bible to be read at their funeral services. Lastly, a few of the religiously faithful chose to disclose their deep connection to religion in their obituary, and at least one student chose to identify their religious faith or else their connection with God on their graveyard marker. The religious rituals and symbols that my students opted for were meaningful to them, as they represented their religious identity and, more specifically, their congregational identity. The preference for a religious ceremony (whether at their family’s church or a funeral home) with a priest or minister presiding over services, and accompanied by prayers, religious music, and/or readings from religious texts, all came to symbolize what it meant to be religious and what it meant to connect with others in their congregation, and with their God. The desire to enact these rituals and symbols even in death was most evident among students who grew up Catholic. In Gallagher’s (2005) comparative study of three faith communities— mainline Protestant, conservative Protestant, and Orthodox Christianity— the religious rituals, religious language, and religious symbols and forms (icons, candles, and practices) connected worshippers to something greater and more significant than themselves; they represented sources of meanings and goals and connected worshippers to “a rich and enduring sense of history, personhood, and place” (Ibid.:82– 83). Even the religious beliefs, practices, and sense of community were embodied and reflected in the building church (Ibid.:84). ­itself—the ​­ ­ Religious rituals mark significant moments in a person’s life, including birth, puberty, marriage, and death. Each rite of passage brings about major changes, and with the changes come new relationships and a “special

124  How College Students Use Religion to Comprehend Death vulnerability.” It also is said that during these changes, the group and the individual are felt to need protection and direction. The performative rituals associated with these key rites of passage, thus, fill these needs (Schmitz 1981:164). As a rite of passage, the death ceremony appears to be especially in need of protection and direction as this rite separates the individual (the decedent) from the group. The performance of religious rituals that mark the last rites (the funeral service) therefore becomes especially important, as the religious rituals come to symbolize an enduring tie between the decedent and his or her church community and between the decedent and his or her God. The formalities of the religious funeral service—the formal and solemn rituals— signal and reinforce the individual’s membership in the religious group (Schmitz 1981:167–168). With the religious send-off, the decedent exits the earthly realm still firmly rooted in a community—his or her religious community. S/ he does not die alone but is assured everlasting membership in an enduring community and even assured an association with the divine during and after this passage. The students in this study who are deeply rooted in their faith seem aware of the impending separation upon death and, consequently, the need to have formalized religious rituals to confirm that they, as the decedents, eternally will be connected to their church community, even upon death. The eternal ties to the church community, and to their God, formally are established at the religious funeral service, particularly when the last rites are administered by a servant of God (the priest or minister) and the ceremony is witnessed by other faithful servants of God. These religious rituals and symbols come to guarantee the decedent an eternal connection with their religious group and with God.

Somewhere between Heaven and Hell: A Debate on Life After Death In a survey of 35,000 American adults from all 50 states, the 2014 U.S. Religious Landscape Study revealed that 72% of the total sample believed in heaven, 21% did not, and 7% were unsure if heaven existed. Among those who did believe in heaven, 45% were men and 55% were women. Among those who did not believe in the existence of heaven, 58% were men and 42% were women. Among those who were not sure whether heaven existed or not, 51% were men and 49% women (Pew Research Center 2014d). Among those who did believe in heaven, 76% of the respondents were absolutely certain that a God existed and 19% were fairly certain that God existed. Among those who did not believe in heaven, 22% were absolutely certain of God’s existence, while 40% did not believe in God, and 5% uncertain about God. Finally, among the respondents who did not know whether heaven existed or not, 50% absolutely believed in God, 23% fairly certain in their belief in God, 10% not at all certain in their belief in God, 4% did not

How College Students Use Religion to Comprehend Death  125 believe in God, and 11% did not know if they believed in God (Pew Research Center 2014d). In the same survey of 35,000 American adults, 58% of the total sample believed in hell, while 34% did not believe in hell and 8% of the respondents were unsure whether a hell existed or not. Among those who did believe in hell, 47% were men and 53% were women. Among those who did not believe in hell, 51% were men and 49% were women. Among those who were not sure whether hell existed or not, 46% were men and 54% were women (Pew Research Center 2014e). Among those who did believe in hell, 79% of the respondents were absolutely certain that a God existed and 17% were fairly certain that God existed. Among those who did not believe in hell, 37% were absolutely certain of God’s existence, while 24% fairly certain in their belief in God, 10% of the respondents were not at all certain in God, 25% did not believe in God, and 4% uncertain about God. Finally, among the respondents who did not know whether hell existed or not, 58% absolutely believed in God, 23% fairly certain in their belief in God, 7% not at all certain about God, 3% did not believe in God, and 8% did not know if they believed in God (Pew Research Center 2014e). In the assignment that focused on what happened at the exact moment of death, an afterlife was considered an unequivocal fact in all the responses in which students referred to religion. Where the responses differed centered on the mechanism of transition into this afterlife, however. Some respondents felt that a person’s life would flash before his or her eyes just before death and preceding the transition into the afterlife, while another student had a variation of the process in which the dying person would reflect over his or her earthly existence before the transition. For some students, the transition took the form of fading into darkness and then a journey. At least one other respondent felt that the physical life did not involve a fading into darkness; instead, the transition was more subtle. Another respondent felt that a dying person experiences euphoria before embarking on a journey. The presence of “others” also differed at the moment of death. Some respondents felt that a guardian or guide would be present at the moment of death, ushering the ascent into the afterlife. One respondent described the presence of angels. One respondent felt that at the moment of death, life would flash before the decedent’s eyes. Thereafter, at least one guide would be present to help lead the newly deceased into the final resting place, though the respondent was unsure what form that guide would take (i.e., whether human form, as an apparition, or another form). Only one respondent felt that darkness would come upon death, after which the decedent would face God for final judgment. In the assignment about whether a dying five-year-old child should have a say in her own end-of-life decision, students were asked what they thought parents should say to a dying child, as well as what they should not say. In this study, 62 students felt that heaven or an afterlife was needed or appropriate, with four additional students opting for a toned- down version of heaven and 30 students at least receptive to a religious explanation of the

126  How College Students Use Religion to Comprehend Death death and dying process (which might include a mention of heaven). Among the 30 students who were receptive to religious explanations of death, some were non-religious or only marginally religious. That even non-religious respondents might opt for, or even prefer, the mention of heaven or a similar afterlife in their explanation of death and dying to a dying child underscores the importance of religion as a source of comfort. Religion, here, comforts not only the person dying—in this case, a very young child—but it also provides comfort to the dying child’s parents, family members, and other loved ones. There is much solace to be found knowing that the dying person will no longer be in pain and will continue to have human connections as s/he reunites with loved ones who passed on earlier. There also is comfort in knowing that the dying child perhaps will even connect with a higher power who will protect and care for him/her and all those who passed on. Indeed, parents often offer psychological and emotional reassurances when providing biological explanations about death to children (Rosengren et al. 2014:85). One type of reassurance occurs in the form of an assurance that death does not represent a finality; that is, the child will reunite with his or her family and other loved ones in the afterlife. The concept of heaven or another afterlife, in this regard, serves to provide comfort to a child that, in spite of a temporary separation, s/he will reconnect with loved ones. That is, there is a promise that the child will never be alone and will always be loved. Such assurances are grounded in religious traditions. Various religions attempt to allay the fear of death and dying with assurances, if not promises, of freedom from pain, eternal ties with family and other loved ones, everlasting happiness, and immortality. Not all the respondents in this current study favored an idealistic notion of a blissful afterlife, however. Some of the non-religious and marginally religious students in this study felt that explaining death and dying should be done in a more matter-of-fact way. For instance, instead of incorporating religion into their explanation of death to a dying child, some students opted to outsource the task to others—psychologists, grief workers, books, etc.— relying on other people to explain death to a dying child. Then there were students who adamantly opposed the idea of heaven or an afterlife altogether. These students appeared to delineate sharply between what is tangible/intangible, logical/illogical, and empirically provable/ unprovable. Heaven and the afterlife fall in the latter categories. Thus, for the non-religious, there is a noticeable delineation between science and religion, with the two perspectives viewed as incompatible.

Religion as a Source of Comfort In the face of imminent death, religion may provide comfort. This was evident in the assignment involving the impending death of a young child, where the idea of heaven or an afterlife provided assurances— assurances to both the dying person and his/ her loved ones—that human existence is

How College Students Use Religion to Comprehend Death  127 not finite, ceasing upon death. In addition, religion may provide people with comfort through promises of social connections both in the earthly and otherworldly realms. Religion, for instance, may provide ties to other human beings, even if only in the spirit world in heaven or another afterlife. If there are no human connections, however, religion provides people with a connection to a higher power—in many cases, a god or another divine entity.

Religion as a Source of Empowerment through the Illusion of Control For some respondents in this study, religion represented a source of empowerment, as it provided them with a sense of control. This was evident in the students’ responses regarding the assignment “What is Death?” For this assignment, some students emphasized that death was out of people’s hands as God was in full control of the time and nature of death. Some of the student responses about God’s role in the September 11, 2001 deaths also emphasized that God was in control. Because God was in control, the belief was that people should simply surrender to God, knowing that God has their backs, even during times of major crises and catastrophes. This finding was particularly prominent among some students who insisted that, even in the face of tragedy, no matter how desperate or dire, one should trust God and not lose faith. However, at least one religious student mentioned that she, too, had questioned her faith after 9/11. As she stated, “I was brought up Catholic and [was] taught that God was good and forgiving and controlled all. After this horrible catastrophe, I could not understand how a good God would allow this amount of pain and suffering.” Yet, God was with those who perished on 9/11, the student observed. After all, Many were in a place where they were losing faith, yet some must have had it. As another person in the film pointed out, jumping from the burning building must have taken a lot of courage. There must have been a God giving them courage and faith to jump to escape the pain and suffering that may have come with staying in the building.…I think the biggest lesson this film taught me was not to lose my faith no matter how desperate a situation seems. The same student added: The priest [in the film] said, “This is not God’s plan. All we can do in response to this is cry. I think in some ways that thought…changed my perception of those left behind by the dying. A strong faith can be a sense of comfort in times of loss….[O]thers have lost their family members and are deeply saddened yet accept that this was God’s plan and had to happen. I think this shows that a strong religious background can help ease the pains of the world and is something that should not be taken for granted.

128  How College Students Use Religion to Comprehend Death Another student observed that “ it seemed like people who stuck by their faith through this time seemed to cope a bit better and sort of move on.” The lesson for this student, thus, was to have faith in their God or religion, even in the face of extreme adversity. Another student noted that people lost their faith in God only “when ­ they were impacted by it.” She saw that as “very ­ selfish.” In other words, it was this student’s opinion that people must unwaveringly put trust in their God, in good times and bad, including extremely bad times. On the other hand, at least four (4) students felt that God had very little or no control over people’s lives. These students also did not believe that God was omnipotent. This was evident in the following responses to the 9/11 documentary film: No matter how much we pray and praise, horrible and vile things still continue to happen in this world. Even though I still believe in God, I can’t live my life relying on whoever it is to make sure I succeed. My perception of life in general is changed [from the 9/11 documentary], because it showed me many different points of view and made me think about new ideas surrounding trauma and religion. For example, there may be people in the world who have never seen trauma or horrible circumstances within their personal life. They may believe God will prevent them from all harm 100% of the time. Many people who have seen trauma give up on the idea of a God altogether because he is supposed to protect them from harm. Others change their view on God because of their circumstances. Bad people, places, and things exist. Horrible things happen and we do not live in a world where we can prevent them, even if we have God on our side. This film changed my perception of life in general by making me see that, as one man from the episode explains, that God is not necessarily anywhere. There might not be anything bigger; anything else there ultimately opposes us. All we do know is that we have each other— connections between us that we see between firemen at Ground Zero trying to rescue people or two strangers that decided to jump from the top floor of the towers. It also allowed me to rethink absolutism and what that really means…as people who lived good middle class lives sat for a year and a half but still decided to carry out a horribly terrorist act. Indeed, one student seemed to suggest that God does not have as much control as humans like to think God does. Nor did this student feel that God invested in the lives and well-being of humans when she stated the following: The film made me think more about my religious views and how they would or would not change after an event like 9/11. One of the interviewees said that he believes God, if he [even] exists, does not pay as much attention to

How College Students Use Religion to Comprehend Death  129 humanity as we might think and it seems pretentious of us to assume God has that much personal investment in our activities. Then he says that after 9/11, the thing that changed is that he wishes it was different, that there was a god who was directly responsible for these actions and events because he wishes there was a simple answer. I think I agree with him on both parts. As mentioned in Chapter  2, the locus of control can be either internal or external. Internal control represents a person’s belief that s/ he/they can achieve a desired outcome through self- directed means using his/ her/their own abilities and resources. Internal control emphasizes the role of human agency—personal initiative and direct action. External control, in contrast, reflects a person’s beliefs that the desired outcome cannot be achieved on one’s own and can only be achieved through another agent or entity (Ellis 2016:494–495). ­ ​­ In the current study, the students who were confident that they would gain entry to heaven seemed to exemplify, in many ways, religious empowerment through the illusion of an internal sense of control. These students were confident that their relationship with their God during their earthly life assured that they would not be condemned to everlasting purgatory; they were confident that they were destined for a blissful eternity in the afterlife. That is to say, the students felt that they had at least some control over their fate through the choices they made and how they lived during their time on earth. That they chose to have faith and serve their God, and that they chose to obey the rules of their religion and reflect their God through behavior and character, assured them of God’s protection and care always, and even upon death. Religion is part of the illusion of external control when an individual completely surrenders him/ herself/themselves to God, believing that God is wholly in charge, and that s/he/they, the mortal, can do nothing to alter the divine (Ellis 2016:497). The thinking is “If it is God’s plan, it must be so.” While surrendering to God appears passive on the part of religious believers, the believers obtain a sense of direct empowerment through their relationship with God (cf. Ellis 2016:497). A few students in the current study illustrated the illusion of external control. This was particularly evident in the assignment involving the 9/11 documentary. When trying to reconcile God’s role in 9/11, one student explained, “If you serve your faith and have a love for God, you should feel that he is always doing the right thing.” Another student wrote, “I believe everything happens for a reason and I believe God does not put you into a situation that you can’t handle.” In either case—whether God is the intervening force to which believers must surrender or else fall under God’s good graces by living one’s earthly life in the reflection of God—the illusory sense of control, whether internal or external control, provides religious believers with hope and protection from not just life stressors but the uncertainty, chaos, and distress associated with war, disasters, violent upheavals, and events of similar magnitude.

130  How College Students Use Religion to Comprehend Death By embracing a belief in the supranormal/supernatural (e.g., a God), an individual regains access to the ability to control the outcome through his or her access to that supranormal force, power, or agent (i.e., God), who is able to assist the individual in the most distressful of times. Not all the respondents in the current study felt that religion was empowering in times of crises. Some of the student respondents, in fact, opposed the illusory nature of religion, though they did so at varying levels, with those most resistant to religion expressing the greatest disdain for the illusory aspects of religion. On the other hand, not all non-religious respondents were as vociferous. As one student commented about the 9/11 documentary film: This [9/11] film made me realize how much I envy religious people. They believe in this one figure and that gives them all the hopes and answers in the world. I have realized that a lot of my pain and issues in life tend to be from feeling alone or lost. These are two things that people who believe in God leave to God: He is always with them and they do not need to question their path because he knows the way. In other words, although religion’s promises may be illusory at best, this student respondent also acknowledged the value of the optimism and hope that it inspired. On the other hand, there is at least some evidence that religion does empower some believers. In this study, not only was religion a profound source of the meaning of life for some students and a source of comfort for others, but their religion and their God were sources of their happiness. In this sample of 218 students, there were 12 mentions of religion as the source of one’s happiness, with 10 respondents mentioning God specifically. In other words, there were 12 cases in which happiness resulted in large part because of religious empowerment.

The Religiously Conflicted Not all the student respondents adhered to their religious teachings when it came to certain death events. It was most evident that some students were conflicted with certain religious teachings, and they struggled to make sense of their religion’s interpretation of death, particularly with respect to an afterlife that emphasized eternal punishment. Other students were less distressed or conflicted by their religion’s emphasis on the presence of divine judgment and hell, but nonetheless expressed skepticism at the fire-andbrimstone version of death. The latter group of students were able to rely on alternative framings of death and the afterlife. Still, other students were able to rationalize away the death fears stemming from religious teachings by holding onto the idea of God as a good, loving, and truly just higher force. Other students expressed confidence in their religion and were assured that they would not be subjected to eternal damnation upon death.

How College Students Use Religion to Comprehend Death  131 Some students were conflicted between the ideals, principles, and commands espoused by (their) religion and the real human suffering that marks the earthly world. The conflicted students varied in how they reconciled the two, however. In spite of what their religion dictated, at least one respondent felt it was not her place to judge people or their actions— -in this case, whether the act of suicide was justified. Another student felt that God allowed people the choice to self-harm or not, a notion to which a majority of religious believers might take issue. In other cases, students (N ­ = 2) reconciled the religious contradictions by expressing skepticism that their life and life’s purpose were predetermined by a higher being. Because lives were not predetermined, the implication was that humans themselves have agency to shape their own paths. Outcomes, therefore, were at least partly attributed to individual human action (or inaction). Most of the students in my death and dying classes were too young to understand the magnitude of September 11, 2001. Some of my students had not even been born at the time. Watching the 9/11 events unfold on film, however, allowed them to “witness” the sheer devastation and horror of that day, and made them rethink their relationship with God and religion. One student best summed up the conflict when she stated: This movie opened up my perception of who I think God really is, and how I might think differently about my spirituality. Like many of the people interviewed, it was very hard for me to wrap my head around God letting such a large number of people die and only saving a few. What made those who survived better than those who died? What Rabbi Kula said….really stuck with me because maybe God isn’t some all supernatural being that just stares at us and makes decision. Maybe God is very different than we had originally thought. Overall, this film taught me to think about spirituality and religion in a very different light. While religion can be a safe haven for many, it has caused a lot of destruction and evil for centuries. Another student was surprised that not all religious New Yorkers questioned their faith after 9/11. She put it as follows: After losing a loved one, it would be so hard for me not to question anything….It changed my perception because I have always challenged faith. If there is an almighty, all powerful, and knowledgeably God, then why inflict this pain and tragedy upon people? There are other ways to teach lessons…It doesn’t make sense, and it makes me wonder why certain people die, and how does this happen. Another student concurred, stating that “If humans are able to do something as horrible as this, then that solidifies my belief that there is no divine and merciful God.”

132  How College Students Use Religion to Comprehend Death Three students reconciled the religious conflict by noting that God works in “mysterious ways.” Eight students reconciled the conflict by asserting that neither God nor religion is to blame for tragedies; rather, tragedies often are manmade, a result of human actions. The deaths on 9/11, thus, were not caused by God or God’s lack of protection of the religious faithful, as God had no control of the events. As a result, it made no sense to use God (or religion) as a scapegoat, when the destruction and deaths were directly the results of human beings’ malicious decisions and behaviors. In fact, one student observed that the film highlighted precisely how destructive human beings are, particularly in their ability to harm their own kind.

Resistance to Religion More uncommon was outright resistance to religion. Among the students who mentioned religion on their assignments, few outrightly rejected religion. In these cases, some students resisted religious funeral rituals altogether, even if they had a strong religious background. Among the student respondents who mentioned religion in their assignments for a death and dying class, religion provided a source of identity, meaning, purpose, hope, reassurance, and transcendence. In this regard, religion may mitigate life’s uncertainties and help the respondents cope with crises and tragedies. On the other hand, some students expressed ambivalence, skepticism, or else outright resistance to religion in the face of some death events. In this lattermost group, some students confessed to some death anxiety as it pertains to divine judgment and placement in the afterlife. Other students mitigated the severity of death anxiety and despair through a reframing of religious ideas and teachings. In rare cases, some students outright rejected religious ideas and concepts altogether. Nowhere was resistance to religion more evident than in the assignment involving a documentary film about religion in the aftermath of 9/11. One ­ student noted that the film confirmed his belief that religion was “too divisive in nature for me to ever take it seriously.” This was particularly the case when one priest’s call for religious unity during the 9/11 events was met with a backlash by other religious leaders, with some accusing this priest of heresy. One of my students felt that such a backlash among religious leaders following such a tragic event confirmed for him just how religion tended to isolate, rather than promote, harmony and unity. This same student felt it also was irrational, if not delusional, for some believers to hold on to religion in a staunch manner, even in the face of “evidence” that suggested that their God or their religion was neither looking out for their best interests nor sufficiently protective. This was particularly evident, the student pointed out, in the 9/11 documentary film segment where one New York woman lost her daughter in a most horrific way (she was in one of the World Trade Center towers), yet she still made excuses for God when she stated, “Maybe God knew something I didn’t know.” In

How College Students Use Religion to Comprehend Death  133 other words, the woman who lost her adult daughter suggested that perhaps her God felt that her daughter had been suffering and therefore decided to extinguish her life right then and there on 9/11. As expected, some students raised the notion of religious extremism for the 9/11 film assignment. At least four students, for example, noted that some people will go to lengths to worship their religion or their deity. Another student observed that some people’s religious beliefs stray very far. Another student pointed out how religious extremists will interpret religion in ways that advance their personal agendas. Still, another student acknowledged the presence of extremist factions in all religions. In all of these instances, religion seems to control people’s lives and actions, including directing people to participate in horrendous or even terrorist acts under the guise of advancing a religious goal. In these cases, religion was seen as not only harmful to individuals but harmful to society at large. In the assignment involving a dying child, five of the student respondents were either adamantly against or somewhat against any mention of a heaven or afterlife. Some of these students were opposed to parents’ promising a dying child something that cannot be proven or guaranteed—in this case, heaven. Other students felt that honesty was the best policy and that parents should not deceive their dying child by painting an idyllic, pain-free image of the afterlife. ***** Religious resistors find traditional religion and their religious notions and ideals—including in their vindication of their God in the face of unfounded suffering and death—to be implausible, incapable of empirical confirmation, and simply irrational. Sociologist and theologian Peter Berger ([1967] 1990), however, offered a counter to this stance: The illiterate peasant who comments upon the death of a child by referring to the will of God is engaging in theodicy as much as the learned theologian who writes a treatise to demonstrate that the suffering of the innocent does not negate the conception of a God both all good and all-powerful. All the same, it is possible to differentiate theodicies in terms of their degree of rationality, that is, the degree to which they entail a theory that coherently and consistently explains the phenomena in question in terms of an overall view of the universe ( pp. 53–54). Because death is the event and the ultimate threat that every individual and society must confront, people ultimately use religious rationalizations to explain, if not justify, death. In this regard, “[t]heodicy represents the attempt to make a pact with death” (Berger [1967] 1990:80). These religious rationalizations— theodicies—provide, if not restore, order to the “nomos,” or an individual’s meaningful order or reality that is grounded in his own experiences.

134  How College Students Use Religion to Comprehend Death According to Berger ([1967] 1990), there are variations in theodicy types, each with varying degrees of theoretical rationalization. One theodicy provides compensation in the future. Typically, suffering occurs in the earthly world, but the belief is that the suffering will be consoled and compensated in the future, while the unjust will be punished. In this theodicy, the present suffering and injustice are explained with reference to their “future nomization”—their future meaningful order (Ibid.:68). Suffering is said to result in a glorious future. Commenting that a child’s death is “the will of God” or proclaiming that the needless suffering and deaths of thousands of people on 9/11 was “part of God’s plan” is perceived as senseless, unjustified, and irrational to the secularly inclined. For the religiously devout, however, unnecessary and tragic deaths make sense if framed as part of a larger, more transcendent “reality,” the nomos. The nomos for religious believers includes life beyond the grave—the afterlife— (Berger [1967] 1990:70). Explanations of death, suffering, and chaos, thus, must include the entire nomos, including explanations about suffering, death, and the aftermath of death. Framing suffering and death as “part of God’s will or plan” therefore provides sense to an otherwise senseless event. Present suffering is legitimated and rationalized through the reference to a future—the afterlife—that is free of suffering and pain. The promise of an afterlife, thus, gives meaning to the religious believer and compensates for any pain and suffering experienced. For nonbelievers, however, neither God nor an afterlife can be empirically verified, rendering both the religious rationalizations and the attempted vindications of God/religion as irrational.

When Religion Does Not Have the Answers Even among the religiously faithful, religion may not have all the answers. Nowhere was this more evident than in the assignment involving the 9/11 documentary film. In this study, ten students felt that people should not blame God or religion for unfavorable outcomes. For these students, if human beings suffer or die in horrific, tragic ways, the outcome is not due to God or religion. Rather, it is human malice and human behavior— man’s inhumanity to fellow man that directly causes suffering and deaths, not God or religion. One student noted that “God can’t block all evil,” though she felt that God was at the side of the New Yorkers who succumbed on 9/11. It was her belief that even though God could not prevent the terrorist attacks, God nonetheless provided comfort to the 9/11 victims. Another student noted that God would “never want to hurt anyone.” As a result, He should not be blamed for 9/11 and similar tragedies. Another student contended that whenever things go wrong, there is a tendency for “the majority of people try their hardest to find a scapegoat for their

How College Students Use Religion to Comprehend Death  135 problems instead of facing it.” It was her belief that instead of taking ownership of the outcome or placing the blame on the real culprit(s), people often displace the blame onto God or onto religion in general. Three students felt that God worked in mysterious ways. The outcomes, which include death, might be inexplicable, but they felt that God nonetheless had a plan, and that “everything happens for a reason.” When the answers are not to be found, painting God as “working in mysterious ways” seems more palatable than trying to explain why God saved some people but not others, or why God subjected people to horrific suffering and deaths. Even the religiously faithful sometimes question their faith. One student who grew up Roman Catholic confessed to questioning parts of her religion and found herself asking a lot of questions. When she observed from the documentary film that the religious leaders during 9/11, too, were questioning their faith, she realized that perhaps there might not always be an answer, that religion does not have all the answers, and “maybe we are not supposed to know all the answers.” The fact that some of the religious leaders portrayed in the 9/11 documentary film did, in fact, question their God and even their religion led the student to conclude that perhaps God/religion did not have all the answers to life’s questions, particularly questions related to suffering, evil, and death. The position that God/religion does not have all the answers in many ways represents a technique of neutralization (Sykes and Matza 1957). Indeed, such a position attempts to neutralize God’s (and religion’s) role in tragic human death and suffering. Claiming that God/religion does not have all the answers to life’s darkest questions removes any blame from God/religion because it suggests that God is not directly complicit in human suffering. Such a position, however, must assume that God is neither omniscient nor omnibenevolent. After all, if God were either omniscient or omnibenevolent or both omniscient and omnibenevolent, surely He would have prevented the needless pain and suffering. Philosopher Holmes Rollston III (2006) stated, “Maybe religion does not have all the answers or even any easy answers, but it does offer a comprehensive worldview within which we might work out some answers” ( p. 37). The religious worldviews, however, seem to fail to address the most pressing questions, or else they entail contradictory positions that are irreconcilable. Human beings desire answers, particularly in times of crises. Also, in times of crises, people want someone to be held accountable. Humans desire clarity. Neither the argument that God does not have all the answers nor the claim that “God works in mysterious ways” provide the clarity or accountability that human beings in distress want and need. Outcomes sometimes initially appear inexplicable. The events of 9/11 originally seemed incomprehensible and unexplainable. Why thousands of people had to suffer and perish in the most horrific ways on 9/11 was beyond explanation, as it seemed unfathomable that man could be so cruel to his fellow human beings. If there is no explanation for the events of 9/11, at least in human terms, then surely a higher power must know.

136 How College Students Use Religion to Comprehend Death Even science does not have all the answers, but science makes discoveries all the time and is constantly searching for new discoveries about our universe. Thus, answers ultimately emerge to questions and outcomes that, at first glance, were incomprehensible and inexplicable. Such is the case for 9/11. The events of 9/11 were not inexplicable. The events were not random act(s) of violence and destruction; they were carefully thought out and meticulously planned, coordinated, and orchestrated acts intended to cause fear, and they did. However, 9/11’s devastation cannot be isolated to a single cause—religious, political, or otherwise; rather, 9/11 contains a complex layered web of motives that may be separate but related.

References Berger, Peter. [1967] 1990. The Sacred Canopy: Elements of a Sociological Theory of Religion. New York: Anchor Books/Random House. Cranney, Stephen. 2013. “Do People Who Believe in God Report More Meaning in Their Lives? The Existential Effects of Belief.” Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion 52(3):638–646. Ellis, Thomas B. 2016. “Of Gods and Devils: Differential Cognition and the Adaptive Illusions of Control.” Method & Theory in the Study of Religion 28(4/5):479–511. Gallagher, Sally K. 2005. “Building Traditions: Comparing Space, Ritual, and Community in Three Congregations.” Review of Religious Research 47(1):70–85. Pew Research Center. 2014d. “Belief in Heaven.” Retrieved August 7, 2021 (https://www.pewforum.org/religious-landscape-study/belief-in-heaven/). Pew Research Center. 2014e. “Belief in Hell.” Retrieved August 7, 2021 (https://www. pewforum.org/religious-landscape-study/belief-in-hell/). Rollston, III, Holmes. 2006. “The Science and Religion Dialogue: Why It Matters.” Pp.  33–37 in Why the Science and Religion Dialogue Matters: Voices from the International Society for Science and Religion, edited by Fraser Watts and Kevin Dutton. Philadelphia, PA: Templeton Foundation Press. Rosengren, Karl S., Isabel T. Gutierrez, and Steven S. Schein. 2014. “Cognitive Models of Death.” Monographs of the Society for Research in Child Development 79(1):83–96. Routledge, Clay, Christina Roylance, and Andrew A. Abeyta. 2017a. “Miraculous Meaning: Threatened Meaning Increases Belief in Miracles.” Journal of Religion and Health 56(3):776–783. Routledge, Clay, Christina Roylance, and Andrew A. Abeyta. 2017b. “Further Exploring the Link Between Religion and Existential Health: The Effects of Religiosity and Trait Differences in Mentalizing on Indicators of Meaning in Life.” Journal of Religion and Health 56(2):604–613. Schmitz, Kenneth L. 1981. “Ritual Elements in Community.” Religious Studies 17(2):163–177. Sykes, Gresham M. and David Matza. 1957. “Techniques of Neutralization: A Theory of Delinquency.” American Sociological Review 22(6):664–670.

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Religious Interpretative Frameworks in the Face of Death

Making Sense of Death: Religious Interpretative Frameworks College students rely on various religious cognitive frameworks for making sense of death, including when responding to traumatic deaths such as the death of a dying child, suicide, and mass homicide. One framework represents a “unified model,” what Rosengren et  al. (2014) described as a cognitive model that embraces a single epistemology. In one unified scheme, individuals hold a scientific model of the world view in which they see the world through a scientific lens, favoring rational reasoning, logic, and scientific methods that allow for a determination of cause and effect (Ibid.:86– 87). This model is known as the unified natural/ biological model. Students who adamantly resist religion tend to utilize this framework, but so, too, do some students who are religiously conflicted, particularly with respect to whether an afterlife exists or not, in light of its lack of empirical verification. The unified natural/biological framework is exemplified in this student’s explanation of death: I have always had a leaning [toward] the thought that once you die, it’s a fade-to- black scenario: The body shuts down, then one experiences absolute eternal nothingness. I know this is a really pessimistic viewpoint, but for some reason it seems the most logical to me. I have never been a huge proponent of ideas like reincarnation, heavenly journeys after passing, and more spiritual- based things of that nature.…Death to me essentially means a finite closure and rest. It doesn’t have to always be viewed in a negative light. Sometimes closure and finality at the right time can be a healthy and liberating experience. Since none of this [can] be quantified, we are all, unfortunately, stuck in the same speculative boat no matter what opinion we hold. In another unified model—the unified religious model—individuals embrace religion and use religious explanations to make sense of the world. In this perspective, all events and entities stem from supernatural forces (i.e., God), and everything is interconnected through the higher forces

DOI: 10.4324/9781003353249-8

138  Religious Interpretative Frameworks in the Face of Death (Rosengren et  al. 2014:87). This model appears typical of religious fundamentalists, although Rosengren et  al. (2014) argued that even the most devoutly religious support scientific reasoning to some degree and at least in some contexts—for instance, in cases that involve health and safety (Ibid.:87). These individuals, thus, may hold a unified model that is primarily religious (Ibid.). People also may combine science and religion frameworks, resulting in what Rosengren et  al. (2014) termed “co- existence models.” According to Rosengren et al., co- existence models come in three varieties: causal chain, ­ ​­ ­ ­ ​­ target-dependent, and blended models (Ibid.:87–88). Causal chain models draw on two different types of explanation, with one used to explain the proximal cause and the other to explain a more distal cause. Using death as the example, a person may interpret the proximal cause of the death as a car accident, but interpret the ultimate cause as God deciding that the decedent should join him in heaven (Rosengren et al. 2014:87). Similarly, in response to the 9/11 film assignment, at least one student in this study relied on the causal chain framework to understand 9/11. The student understood that the direct and immediate cause of the 9/11 deaths was a series of activities carried out by Islamist extremists, who turned fully occupied airplanes into missiles by driving them into occupied buildings. However, for some of those who perished by jumping out of upper-story windows of the World Trade Center towers, the student felt that God was the distal cause of their demise as it was God who provided them with “courage ­ and faith to jump to escape the pain and suffering that may have come with staying in the building.” In the target- dependent model, people will rely on one type of explanation for a particular entity or domain while reserving another type of explanation for other domains. Religious explanations, for instance, might be used to describe supernatural or otherwise inexplicable phenomena (e.g., miracles) and the meaning of life, while scientific explanations might be used to describe natural, everyday occurrences (Rosengren et al. 2014:88). In the assignment that posed the question “What is death?,” one student wrote the following: Death, physically speaking, is the end of consciousness and biological functions as we know them. As a Christian person, death to me means the beginning of our eternal life. [It is a] life that is different than what we know today and may be an opportunity to truly enjoy ourselves without the worries of studying, physical needs, working, and all the things that worry us as humans. This student explained “life”—physical ­ ​­ ­life—in ​­ scientific terms (consciousness and biological functions). Life after death, however, is strictly spiritual or religious. The domains of physical life and spiritual life, thus, are separate, illustrating a target- dependent framework.

Religious Interpretative Frameworks in the Face of Death  139 Blended models, according to Rosengren et  al. (2014), integrate both scientific and religious explanations so that what were once competing explanations are now compatible ones. Terms and explanations from both religion and science are woven together in a given situation or context. For instance, a religious believer might say that while God initially created the universe, he allowed evolution to occur. With respect to death, certain individuals might also combine biological/scientific and religious explanations of death (Ibid.:88).

Religion as a Resiliency Resource This study reveals that religion can function as a significant source of meaning, hope, and comfort in times of existential crises and during both the anticipatory grief process (the grief that precedes an imminent death) and conventional post- death grief process. On the other hand, religion, too, can be a major source of anxiety. One major source of death anxiety, as it pertains to religion, is whether or not an afterlife exists and, more specifically, whether people will be judged by the divine and banished to eternal hell in the afterlife. The second major source of death anxiety, as it pertains to religion, occurs during periods of major crises or traumas. Tragedies the magnitude of 9/11 are more likely to result in the shattering of one’s religious faith, as such events involve not only mass deaths but suffering and deaths in the most horrific ways imaginable. During these events, people may draw from their religious and spiritual repertoire as they attempt to manage the crises. Religious coping is often used to mitigate the stress and trauma associated with distressful events and major life traumas, including illness, victimization, war, and death (Pargament et al. 1998:710). The religious coping strategies, however, are not equally effective. The specific types and degree of effectiveness among the religious coping resources employed may vary, with certain religious styles seemingly more conducive to helping mitigate anxiety and distress, while other religious styles are more prone to intensifying negative psychological symptomatology. Pargament et  al. (1998) identified patterns of positive and negative religious coping methods in samples of people coping with the 1995 Oklahoma City bombing. Positive patterns included the following: religious forgiveness (looking to religion for help in letting go of anger, hurt, and fear associated with a perceived offense), seeking spiritual support from a clergy or members, collaborative religious coping (seeking control through a partnership with God in problem-solving), spiritual connection (sense of connectedness with a higher power), religious purification (religious cleansing through religious actions), “benevolent religious reappraisal” (redefining the stressor through religion as benevolent), and religious focus (seeking relief from the stressor through a focus on religion) (Ibid.:711, 720). Negative religious coping included the following: spiritual discontent (expressions of confusion

140  Religious Interpretative Frameworks in the Face of Death and dissatisfaction with God), punishing God reappraisals (defining the stressor as a punishment from God for the sin[s]), interpersonal religious discontent (expressions of confusion or dissatisfaction with religious clergy or members), demonic reappraisal (defining the stressor as the act of the devil), and reappraisal of God’s powers (redefining God’s power to influence the stressful situation) (Ibid.:711, 720). The positive and negative religious coping strategies produced different outcomes in Pargament et  al.’s (1998) study. The positive religious coping styles were associated with benevolent outcomes that included fewer symptoms of psychological distress, increased psychological and spiritual growth, and greater cooperativeness (as perceived by the interviewer). In contrast, negative religious coping strategies were associated with emotional distress, depression, poorer life quality, psychological symptoms, and callousness toward others (Ibid.:721). The disparate findings across religious coping strategies suggest that religion can be a source of liberation and comfort but also a source of discomfort and stress. Pargament et  al.’s (1998) study further revealed that religious believers were more likely to use positive religious coping strategies than negative ones. More specifically, religious believers were more likely to draw on religious coping strategies that were reflective of their secure relationship with their God, a sense of spirituality, and a more trustworthy perspective of the world (Ibid.:720). Religiosity, thus, appears to be health-protective for religious believers—particularly those who use positive religious coping strategies. Meisenhelder and Marcum (2004) similarly compared the outcomes between the use of positive religious coping and negative religious coping strategies, though operationalized the two coping styles in ways that were far less nuanced than the concepts operationalized by Pargament et al. (1998). Meisenhelder and Marcum operationalized “positive religious coping” with a single item: looking to God for comfort and strength. “Negative religious coping,” in contrast, was associated with religious confusion and was measured by three items: doubting God’s existence, wondering why God permits evil, and feeling angry with God (Meisenhelder and Marcum 2004:550). In their sample of Presbyterian clergy, the overwhelming majority (92%) utilized positive religious coping practices (e.g., looking to God for strength, support, and guidance or prayers) in the aftermath of 9/11. Negative religious coping was less common, though 36% of the clergy sample wondered why God permitted evil, 6% of the clergy expressed doubts about God’s existence, and 20% felt anger toward God for allowing 9/11 to happen (Meisenhelder and Marcum 2004:551). In addition, the study revealed that the clergy who used positive religious coping strategies (i.e., were more positive in their attitudes toward God) were less likely to experience numbness and evasion, which were the more severe symptoms of stress, and had more positive religious outcomes. Conversely, the clergy who used negative religious coping strategies were more likely to experience pathological

Religious Interpretative Frameworks in the Face of Death  141 ­ During periods of personal crises, people often rely on faith-based and spiritual coping measures to cope with a crisis in which they are directly affected. Faith and spirituality, thus, serve as psychological coping strategies during death events that impact people at the micro level, but they, too, represent important coping management resources during disasters and other historical events that involve a large death toll. Indeed, studies have documented the role of faith and spirituality in aiding workers in the frontline of trauma, including female humanitarian aid workers (Ozcan et al. 2021). In such contexts, faith and spiritual coping strategies provided the traumatized with “a resolute identity, space for self- care, as well as access to a community, belonging, and connection across national, faith, and spiritual boundaries” (Ibid.). ­ In Ozcan et al.’s (2021) interview of 14 female humanitarian aid workers from seven countries and six different faiths, the participants with a faithbased or spiritual practice noted feeling calm, reassured, greater stability, and more certain that “things…will be ok.” Their faith-based practices also allowed them to feel greater resilience—the ability to withstand and bounce back. The faith-based and spiritual practices also enabled participants to feel “more present,” thereby enhancing their ability to deal with death, grief, violence, and other traumas experienced by the survivors with whom they were aiding in conflict- or disaster-affected countries. Finally, participants in Ozcan et  al.’s (2021) study revealed that surrendering to God restored their balance in moments in which they did not feel that they had complete control. Knowing that they were not responsible for the traumatic events and outcomes provided the aid workers with some semblance of relief. In Ozcan et al.’s (2021) study, many of the humanitarian aid workers’ identities were strengthened through their faith and spiritual practices. Their faith provided a sense of self beyond their identity as an aid worker. Because their sense of self extended beyond their functional role, their psychological balance was less affected in the face of trauma, as they had a sense of person even amid chaos. While their faith strengthened their identity, for other participants their faith gave them a “positive energy” and a sense that they were connected to something much larger than the self. It was this sense of belonging to something bigger that provided some hope and motivation. In times of trauma—whether as a survivor, first responder, or aid worker— a reliable space for self- care may not be possible. Faith-based and spiritual practices, thus, allow people to process and acknowledge emotions, and to observe, process, and accept chaos in healthier, less destructive ways (Ozcan et al. 2021). Faith and spirituality also may provide a sense of community and belonging, both in person and psychically. The participants in Ozcan et al.’s (2021) study, for instance, described acquiring community through their personal relationship with their God or another higher power.

142  Religious Interpretative Frameworks in the Face of Death Community also was achieved through joint religious or spiritual practices ( prayer or meditation groups, for instance). The provision of such social support systems lent to a sense of community, enabling religious believers and spiritual practitioners to feel that they were part of a larger group, a community. They therefore could rest assured that they would not be alone as they traversed the turbulent waters of life. Finally, faith and spirituality can unify across boundaries, and connections may be forged through faith, even if not a shared faith. In Ozcan et al.’s (2021) study, in spite of differences in religious faith, the connection among the humanitarian aid workers was felt, as there was a shared understanding that faith, no matter the form, was an essential part of people’s life and identity. This shared understanding crossed religious and spiritual boundaries, lending to a sense of fellowship and community. ***** Because there are at least some indications that certain religious coping strategies are health- enhancing, religious coping strategies, thus, should not be dismissed when discussing the mental well-being needs of those coping with death. Indeed, as this study indicates, faith-based measures represent viable and valid coping strategies in the face of crises, as psychological stress/distress can be moderated through support systems, positive attitudes, problem-solving abilities, and other coping mechanisms. While the use of convenience sampling and the unintentional overrepresentation of female subjects (reflective of the college population) limit the generalizability of the findings from this study, findings from this study nonetheless may shed light on how people use religion to make sense of death and to cope with death events. The current study also highlights the potential of death education in helping to reduce death anxiety. By sharing personal experiences with, and attitudes on, death events, death education can help mitigate death anxiety. Death education also can address how religion may represent a source of anxiety but also a resilience source in the face of death. According to Shoemaker et al. (1981), the goal of most death education courses is to change death attitudes. By altering death attitudes, perhaps death education, too, may alleviate the anxiety associated with religion’s interpretation of death and the dying process. Indeed, the highly personal nature of death education is intended to help students deal with their anxieties, which includes anxieties that center around religion’s interpretation of death. By exposing students to cross- cultural and intra- cultural (religious) differences with respect to death practices and behaviors and concurrently orienting students to the spiritual nature of death, death education may help ease anxiety and fear. This is largely because death education helps students become more attuned to their own mortality, one’s own death, and what that means. This self-awareness can help facilitate appropriate and rational

Religious Interpretative Frameworks in the Face of Death 143 reactions to death, orient students toward bereavement, and prepare them to cope with loss, grief, and mourning (Warren 1981:30).

References Meisenhelder, Janice Bell and John P. Marcum. 2004. “Responses of Clergy to 9/11: Posttraumatic Stress, Coping, and Religious Outcomes.” Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion 43(4):547–554. Ozcan, Ozgul, Mark Hoelterhoff, and Eleanor Wylie. 2021. “Faith and Spirituality as Psychological Coping Mechanism among Female Aid Workers: A Qualitative Study.” Journal of International Humanitarian Action 6(1). DOI:10.1186/s41018-021-00100-z. Pargament, Kenneth I., Bruce W. Smith, Harold G. Koenig, and Lisa Perez. 1998. “Patterns of Positive and Negative Religious Coping with Major Life Stressors.” Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion 37(4):710–724. Rosengren, Karl S., Isabel T. Gutierrez, and Steven S. Schein. 2014. “Cognitive Models of Death.” Monographs of the Society for Research in Child Development 79(1):83–96. Shoemaker, Robert K., Gretchen F. Burnett, Ray E. Hosford, and Charles E. Zimmer. 1981. “The Effects of a Death Education Course on Participant Attitudes toward Death and Dying.” Teaching of Psychology 8(4):217–219. Warren, W. 1981. “Death Education: An Outline and Some Critical Observations.” British Journal of Educational Studies 29(1):29–41.

Index

accountability 135 affective states, religion’s influence on 21 afterlife 28–29, 31–33, 35, 45, 47, 49–50, 53, 55, 56, 69, 86–112, 115, 125–127, 129, 130, 132–134, 137, 139 agnostic 12, 13, 53 appropriate death behaviors see death behaviors, appropriate atheist 12, 13 Berger, Peter 6–7, 133–134 blended models 139 brutally honest obituaries 113–115 buffering theory 32 Catholic 135; death dip 18; depression 17; funeral rites 6; heart disease 17; importance of religious symbolism 123; suicide 17 children: death of 86–112, 126; explaining death to 87–102 Christianity 123; Christian death dips 18; traditional doctrine 7 co-existence models 138; blended model 138; causal chain 138; targetdependent 138 Cohen, Elizabeth 86 coherence, sense of 19–20 college students and COVID-19: perceptions of death and dying 2–3; perceptions of life 3–4 community 6, 14, 18–19, 25, 30, 122, 123–124, 141–142; sense of community 122–123 control: locus of 127–130, 132, 133; sense of 28–30, 33–34, 127, 129, 139, 141 coronavirus pandemic see COVID-19 COVID-19 1–6; attitudes and religion 26; college students and COVID-19

2–4; effects on funeral rituals 5–6; effects on religious faith 5; effects on religious rituals 5–6 crisis/crises: coping with and religion 12, 13, 19, 20–23; religious coping 71–72, 84, 122, 127, 130, 132, 135, 139, 141, 142 crises see crisis death anxiety 7, 132, 139, 142; religion’s effect on 12, 27–35, 51–52 death apprehension theory 32–33 death behaviors, appropriate 120 death ceremony as rite of passage 123–124 death education 142 death fears 28, 30, 32, 35, 130; student death fears 50–55 death, what is 41, 44–50 denominational differences in health 17–18 distress 9, 129–130, 131, 135, 139–140, 142; religious effects on 12–14, 16, 19–20, 22–23, 25–27, 29, 33, 35 Durkheim, Emile 17, 21 empowerment see religion as empowering end-of-life religious rituals 5–6 exact moment of death 55–58, 125 external control 33–34, 129 extrinsic religiosity 24, 30–31; influence on death anxiety 30–31 faith, questioning 72, 75–77, 135 Faith and Doubt at Ground Zero film 71 forgiveness 21, 22, 31, 114, 120, 139 fundamentalist 26, 28–29, 139

146 Index funeral, imaginary 58–66 funeral rituals during coronavirus pandemic 5–6; desired rituals 58–66 God: absolve of responsibility 8; belief in 121, 124–125; benevolent 14, 22, 130, 135; blaming 79–80; guide 46, 57, 122; happiness source 118–119, 130; in control 127–129; judgment 58, 115, 125, 130, 132; punitive and vengeful 14, 22, 31–32; reflection of 129; relationship with 14, 19, 20, 23, 34, 71, 118–119, 122–124, 127–129, 131, 140–141; serving 116; testing humans 78–79; trust in 54, 72–74; vindication of 133–135; working in mysterious ways 78, 135 God’s plan 115, 121, 129, 134–135 God’s role 102 grave marker 67, 123 gravestone 67 grievances 114–115, 120 happiness source 118–119 health and religion 2–21, 23–27, 31, 34, 140–142; health benefits of religion 122; inverse relationship 13, 16, 25, 28, 29, 30, 32; paradoxical outcomes 25–27 heaven 86–103, 124–127, 129, 133; toned-down version 103–104 heavenless 104–105 hell 124–125, 130 Hindu funeral rites 5 HIV 12–16, 20, 23 holidays, religious 18 homicide 71–85 humanitarian aid workers and religious coping 13, 19, 22, 141–142 human suffering 70, 122, 131, 133–135 illusion of control 33–34, 120, 127–130 imaginary funeral see funeral, imaginary internal control 33–34, 129 intrinsic religiosity 15, 17, 24–25, 27, 30–31, 33 Islamic funeral rites 5 Jewish funeral rites 5, 6 Jews, health 17 Julianna Snow see Snow, Julianna karma 115

last rites, the funeral see funeral last rites preferences 124 life after death see afterlife locus of control see control, locus of marginal situations 6–7 meaning of life 115–118, 138 meaning of life and death 121–124, 130 mental health and religion 12, 21, 24–27 methodology see methods methods 41–43; data source and method 41; sample characteristics 42–43; sampling issues 41–42 miracles 122, 138 moment of death 55–58, 125 Moon, Michelle 86–87, 90, 94, 98–100, 104–105, 108, 112 Mormon health 17 negative coping strategies 15, 24 negative religious coping 22–23, 139–140 non-Christian 47 non-organizational religiosity 16, 25 obituaries 66, 113–115; purpose 114; scathing 113–115 order, meaningful 133–134 organizational religiosity 16, 25 plan, meaningful 121–122 positive coping strategies 15, 23 positive religious coping 22–23, 140 private religiosity 16, 25 promotion of health behaviors and lifestyles 17 Protestants: death anxiety 30; health 17 public religiosity 16 purpose of life 115–117 religion: anxiety source 139, 142; blaming 79–81; comfort source 120–122, 126–127, 130, 134, 139– 140; definition 15; divisiveness 83; destructive 83; empowering 120, 127–130; evil 83; illusion of control 120, 127–130; questioning 75–77, 135; not having all the answers 135; resiliency resource 139–142; resistance to (see religious resistance); sense of community 141–142; unifying 82–83, 126; varied nature 83–85 religion and death anxiety see death anxiety, religion’s influence on

Index  147 religion and health see health and religion religion and illusion of control see illusion of control religion and mental health see mental health and religion religion and tragic deaths 70–85, 86–112; homicide (see homicide); suicide (see suicide) religion-death anxiety relationship see death anxiety-religion religious avoidance 23, 29 religious coping 21–24, 70, 139–142; negative 139–140; positive 139–140 religious extremists 81–82, 138 religious fundamentalists 138 religious interpretative frameworks 137–139 religiosity - definition 15 religiously conflicted 130–132, 137 religious mentalizing 121–122 religious resistance 130, 132–134, 137 religious rituals 123–124; at end of life 5–6 religious skepticism 47, 121, 130–132 religious symbols 123 resisting religion see religious resistance resistance to religious funeral rituals 132 resistance to religious funeral rituals 65 Rwandan genocide survivors 8 science 126, 136 scientific model 137–139 sense of community 19, 122–123, 141–142; see also community

sense of control 28–30, 33–34, 127–129, 139, 141 September 11, 2001 events see 9/11 serving others 116–117 Seventh-Day Adventists: health outcomes 17 skepticism see religious skepticism Snow, Julianna 86–112 Snow, Steve 86, 90, 105, 108, 112 social connection 122, 127 social integration 17–19 social support 18–19, 20, 142 spiritual 13, 15–16, 19–20, 22–24, 29, 55, 138–142; funeral service 65 spirituality, definition 15 subjective religiosity 16 suicide 69–71 supernatural 34, 83, 121–122, 130, 137–138 technique of neutralization 135 terror management theory 33 tombstone 59, 67; see also gravestone, grave marker traumatic deaths 8; see also children, death of; homicide; suicide unified model 137; religious model 137–138; scientific model 137 What is death? see death, what is worship styles, influence on mental health 21