Reallionaire: Nine Steps to Becoming Rich from the Inside Out [Paperback ed.] 0757302246, 9780757302244

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Nine Steps to

Becoming

Ricii

from the

Inside Out #1 ^

Essence Bestseller

gQ\ 'aft;

'"ID

I

^

Boston Public Ubraiy Boston, MA 02116

Praise for Farrah Gray "I

congratulate you

on learning

so early in

life

the importance of

entrepreneurship and the free enterprise economic system. Indeed,

you

are

making

it

happen."

Stedman Graham

"Farrah Gray

among

is

standing accomplishments. as diverse as

those [African Americans] with out-

He

has founded and fosters companies

food manufacturing and venture

regularly to after-school

and summer

capital.

literacy

He

donates

and mentoring

programs."

Sacramento Bee

"Farrah

is

an example of what

drive at such a

is

achievable.

young age makes him an

.

.

.

His financial

invaluable role model."

Aubrey Stone executive director, California Black

"A savvy entrepreneur. Gray

is

CEO

Chamber of Commerce

and founder of NE^W,

flagship organization, with five other operations going at the

time. His mission ties

is

to educate

in business and, at the

of social responsibility. .

.

.

He

his

same

youth about the career opportuni-

same time, lead by example

in the area

wants to make the world a better place

—ordinary teenager with extraordinary

Farrah Gray

success."

MBE (Minority Business Entrepreneur) magazine "Farrah

is

refreshing

and

inspiring."

Suzanne executive director,

L.

Casupang

YMCA of Southern Nevada

"This Teen Tycoon

making

is

his

mark."

CBS News «

"

[Farrah

Gray

is]

a very

handsome, well-groomed and polished

black teenager. As the saying goes, 'You can pick crowd.' Its as though success carries an energy of see

you can

it,

model

for

—

feel it

Farrah has

it all.

.

.

.

them out of

its

a

own. You can

Farrah Gray

is

a role

both youths and adults."

Las Vegas Image magazine "Farrah displays great poise and has learned to successfully divide

himself between his entrepreneurial pursuits and his education."

Carlton Jenkins partner, Yucaipa Corporate Initiatives

"You

are

on

and succeeding

a very focused path

bring entrepreneurship to young people. For this

and

say,

I

in

Fund

your quest to

congratulate you

'Keep up the good work.'"

Shahara Ahmad-Llewellyn vice chair, America's Promise

"Most kids 'Let's

his age are like, 'Let's

go to the

mall.' Farrah's like,

build a mall.'"

Wendy Day cofounder of The Rap Coalition "Farrah can teach

me

anytime about business;

I

will teach

him

the violin."

Olga Breeskin international recording artist

"Farrah Gray makes

me

proud."

The Honorable Percy Sutton chairman emeritus, Inner City Broadcasting Corporation

Reallionaire Nine Steps to Becoming

RiciifrM^^il^ideOut tor I©

Sal© of thk-

Farrah Gray with Fran Harris

Health Communications, Inc. Deerfield Beach, Florida

www, hcibooks. com

V

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Gray, Farrah, 1984Reallionaire

:

nine steps to becoming rich from the inside out

/

Farrah Gray, with

Fran Harris. p.

cm.

ISBN 0-7573-0224-6 Finance, Personal.

1. II.

2. Financial security.

I.

Harris, Fran,

1965-

Title.

HG179.G7218 2005 332.024'01— dc22 2004062555

©2004

Farrah Gray

ISBN 0-7573-0224-6 All rights reserved. Printed in the

United States of America.

No

part of this publi-

may be

reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or

by any means,

electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, with-

cation

out the written permission of the publisher.

HCI,

its

Logos and Marks are trademarks of Health Communications,

Publisher: Health

Communications,

Inc.

3201 S.W. 15th

Street

Deerfield Beach,

FL 33442-8 1 90

R-06-05 Cover design by Larissa Hise Henoch Inside book design by

Lawna

Inside book formatting by

Patterson Oldfield

Dawn

Von

Strolley

Grove

Inc.

Reallionaire:

Someone who

has discovered that there

having money. just

A person who

is

more

to

money than

understands that success

is

not

about being rich in your pocket; you have to be rich

on the

inside, too.

V

Dedicated to

the five generations of the past and present

Great Great Great

Grandma

Birdie

Grandma DaUa

Grandma Audrey Mother Paula Sister Kiki

The

residual of your collective

ian spirit I

stand.

317

and unwavering compassion

years of wisdom, humanitaris

the foundation

upon which

CONTENTS

Acknowledgments Introduction:

STEP 1

ix

Know Yourself

xi

Understand the Pov/er of a

Name

STEP

2

Never Fear Rejection

STEP

3

Build an All-Star Mentoring

STEP

4

Seize Every

STEP

5 Go But

1

21

Team

53

Opportunity

with the Flow

.

.

71

.

Know Where You Want

to

Go

101

STEP

6

Be Emotionally Prepared

STEP

7

Dedicate Your

STEP

8

Love Your Customer

195

STEP

9

Never Underestimate the Power of a Network

235

Bonus

Principle:

Time

Know Your

to

to

Handle

Failure

What You Know

Partner

vii

135

175

271

V

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

First

want

I

to

thank

God and

his cocreators

of me,

Mom

and

Dad.

my beautiful one-and-only picture perfect for the profound impact you have had on my Hfe. Prayers are

To Greek sister,

"Kiki" Gray,

answered, for your battle with cancer had often, asking battle

and

are a Sistah Soldier,

my

You opened up your

00 percent spiritual

to write the

Grandma

and always serving the

Grace and

Isaiah,

to be like

you

book

I

had

right

if I

you

the

Female

for

your

in

I

to

you

to expe-

to

weigh in

for being so loving

amount of Haitian soup Cheyenne,

me

me.

Trinity,

for the soul.

Madison, Micaya,

kids never cease to amaze;

you when

truly have an

You urged me

you

inspire*

me

to

grow up!

Yaa-Asantewa Nzingha, there would be ing

you

and home

heart

Rosette, thank

Jahdi, Malaikah, Tariq,

want

we won

a no-limit soldier!

spiritual aunt,

rience the richness of an extended family.

My

quite

respect.

angelic nature.

1

God

Woman Warrior,

brothers Andre, Jonathan and Alex, thank

Danielle Jean Jacques,

at

visiting

a family,

You keep on being

love you. Big Sis.

I

my

To

you through. As

to pull

and the war. You

Fighter.

love

him

me

a void in

my life of learn-

was not blessed to draw from your well of wisdom.

A cknowledgments

X

The

invaluable motivator behind the motivator, Alicia S. Thibou.

Thank you Thanks people

for being you. for the work, backing

who

believed in

and

me and who

faith

used their "pulling and draw-

ing power" or the investment of time to tions

on

my

behalf:

of a handful of good

Barbara Belle

assist

or

make

introduc-

Newman, Nan and

Grace,

Kimberly Bailey-Tureaud, Axal Admas, Erykah Badu, Deborah Campbell, Yvonne Atkinson Gates, Isabella Laforet, Minyon

Moore, Roi Tauer, Tim Ralph, Dr. Glen Yago, Pierre

Sutton,

Percy Sutton,

Kwame Brown,

Karen Malone, Alice Huffman,

Carlton Jenkins, Beverly Swanagan, Stedman Graham, George Ginder, Ertharin Cousin Moore, Gary Campbell,

Mary

Beth, Bret Witter, Fran Harris,

and the whole

HCI

Your

family.

faith

Kim and

J.

Michael Rush,

Weiss, Randee Feldman direct

and

indirect sup-

port have been far-reaching. Last and

least,

thanks to those

intended to keep. You helped it

represents the content of

me

who made learn that

my character.

promises they never

my word

is

my

bond;

INTRODUCTION: Know Yourself

I'm a nineteen-year-old African American male

And

a single-parent household.

posed to be either in kid

who was

all

you

possibilities. I'd sit

when

apartment, dreaming of the day the manic streets of Manhattan.

I

in

believe in statistics, I'm sup-

or dead. Instead, from the jump,

jail

about

if

who grew up

I'd

by the window

I

was

a

in our tiny

look out of my office onto

dreamed of igniting audiences of

thousands, even millions of people, with speeches that rivaled Dr.

Martin Luther King that

Jr.'s.

I

dreamed of making enough money

my mother could stop working her two,

to take care of us. stances,

knew

it

see,

knew

was possible

personally

You

I

that

for

sometimes

me

to

of

seem.

we

possibilities.

I

grew up in

and

I

lived

surprise,

it

was

was always lined with empty beer

street peddlers.

lived in frequently

lease in

my

didn't appear to

Thankfully, things are not always as they

The block where

stantly

I

had ever achieved.

the Chicago neighborhood

bottles, old cars

circum-

dream outside of what anyone

be brimming with potential for success, but to full

three, jobs

my current

no matter what

so

The broken-down apartment

had no running

jammed, and roaches seemed our place. xi

water.

The

toilet

was con-

to have signed a long-term

Introduction

xii

But that wasn't

my community.

there was to

all

the most notorious housing projects were

all

In the

shadow of

the makings of Ivy

League students, biochemists, corporate executives, lav^ers, educa-

media moguls and

tors, engineers,

in

most

cases wasn't a shortage of

of hope.

Hope

that things

entertainers.

that parents

would one day be

would be

and acquire funding

in a

I

didn't live in a

neighborhood

house to get to school.

grow and

sustain

them-

full

of

that.

But

I

did

live

household where ideas and inspiration were abundant and,

was expected.

excellence

planted a tiny yet powerful seed in could become and do anything I set

me

before

I

My

mother

was born: that I

my heart and mind to. Thank God

believed her.

My

journey to

this

situation

and

point has been mostly about the inner

and drive

strength, faith, focus

no mistake, we

call this "a

all

I've

about being talented

as

isn't

customized

the

car. It's

way

make

it

out of a difficult

side of that

mountain. The

outta no way" attitude.

And make

it is

much

about what you do with that

talent.

not about the

how we

own

so

learned that true success

isn't

about a bulging bank account, a second

jet. It's

about

takes to

possess the ability to reach the top of our

unique Mt. Everest.

Real success

it

on the other

see myself

old folks used to

a

one

that

able to establish business enterprises

to see those ventures

more important, where

I

a crack

Hope

better.

could be passed on to their children.

selves until they

Hope.

missing

brainpower but rather a shortage

day kids wouldn't have to walk past

Hope

What was

size

home

or

of the house or the make of

recognize and actualize our unique

gifts.

That's what will take us to that next level of achievement and abun-

dance. For me, that's

who

when you become

a "reallionaire"

—someone

pursues his or her passion with authenticy, sincerity and

honesty.

— Introduction

The revisit

much

process of writing this

my

journey in a way that actually makes

Some people

more.

"and laugh." Not me.

and

I

me

appreciate

on

look back on the staning blocks of my

I

it

it

life,

nervously change the subject. There's nothing funny about

Not one

hand,

the chance to

say of their past that they look back

being poor, trust me. But life.

book has given me

I

I

been blessed, and had

thing. I've

my

would not change one thing about

wouldn't have had the amazing

I

life I've

not been dealt

this

had. ^\nd I'm just

getting startedl

My business success has given me the opportunity' to that

I

would have never touched,

seen except in

my

my

dreams.

The

to see places

to

my

My

are

me

story has thrust

me

lives

have never

achievements

nessman and philanthropist and eventually put

who

may

tenets that were instilled in

mother and grandmother led

influential leaders

I

touch

me

by

as a busi-

at the table

changing the world one day

with

at a time.

into a speaking career that's taken

me

to

neighborhoods, schools and communities that are starring for inspiration,

Now, all

I

and

didn't

for that,

become

I

m

eternally grateful.

a millionaire

by age

fifteen so

I

could keep

of my secrets to myself That's never been the plan. Ch^er the next

my personal method of turning lemons into lemonade (including my tips on how to market, package and sell iti). You'll find not only my stor\^ but my Real Points few hundred pages,

I'll

share

important concepts and reminders that business and in

life. I

ups and downs, and

and

self-evaluation.

make

sure

you

are

aren't mileposts;

lionaire journey.

I

know you're going

will

help you both in

to experience

your share of

know you're going to have moments of doubt

These Real Points

still

on the

are milestones

right road.

they are wheels

I

hope

you can use

to

My Reallionaire Exercises

will

speed you on your

real-

Introduction

xiv

My

story,

though unique,

is

not unUke others

who began

with

nothing more than a dream fueled by sheer determination. Even

if

you've never walked the streets of a housing project or seen food

stamps up of us thing

close,

I

believe

who knows no

—

is

possible.

This

my story will

limits is

and

my story,

remind you of the kid

believes anything

but in a way,

it's

—and

in

all

every-

your story too.

STEP

Understand the

Power how

of a

Name community

the love and support of family and

helped put a young African American with big dreams

on the path to success

By the time

I

made my entrance

1984,

my

way to

caring for five children

mother, Paula, had

Chicago housing

projects,

left

into the world

my

father

on her own.

between. You

see,

Thank goodness

five feet,

like

and was well on her

grew up near the South

killed.

It

was a good month

Those months were few and

the inner city wasn't a place for the

if

far

weak or weary.

Mom was a warrior.

My mother was At

9,

where drug deals gone bad and people

being shot to death were commonplace.

nobody you knew got

I

on September

thirty-six years old

seven inches

tall

and

Grammy Award-winning

when

a petite

singer

she gave birth to me.

125 pounds, she looked

Erykah Badu. The oldest of

four siblings and descended from three generations of hardworking

women. ties.

Mom

was

a

product of "old school" rearing and

sensibili-

She grew up during a time when children were to be seen and

not heard. You worked hard and valued education.

1

RealHonaire

2

was the baby of the

I

In other words,

I

got

on everybody's

was seventeen years old when hold.

He

Then

there was

last

My brother Andre

nerve.

came home and invaded the house-

I

was already the anointed surrogate father in our home.

my

who was

brother Jonathan,

and the queen of the old.

outgoing and precocious.

family, curious,

six;

Alex was

five;

my sister Kiki, was fourteen years unassuming swan that all of my friends

royal palace,

She was the quiet and

swore they'd marry one day. Living in Phoenix, in the backdrop but hardly in the background, was Grandma, the strong, silent matriarch

who

later blessed

me

with very valuable business know-how

and wisdom that ultimately led to

my first

Mom had grown up during the '60s,

million-dollar deal.

a time

when

black folks were

extremely socially conscious and heavily engaged in a high-octane

stru^le for activists

human and

who marched

regular basis.

marches.

It

rights.

civil

was a place where people could voice

labeled wallflowers,

come from

hadn't

similar to mine. love, discipline Still,

was

spirituality

raised us with the

striving to be

means "burden responsibility.

it

same

agitators.

Maybe

that's

a

and

their opinions

and

We called them our heroes. Her upbringing was

home where

but not a

lot

there was a lot of

of material wealth.

was better to be respected than sensibility. Little

both^rich and

bearer," the

on

in sit-ins

officers in the great fight for equal-

She grew up in a

and

had been

Mom and Dad have never been

a wealthy family.

she always believed that

and she I

and they were

Some might have called them

Mom

father

often the setting for meetings

organize to bring about social change.

ity.

my

and participated

in the streets

Our house was

She and

one

respected.

who

why I came

leads

did she

My name

rich,

know that in Arabic

and shoulders

great

into the world raising Cain,

asking questions and challenging the status quo. So be careful what

you name your

children!

Step

Understand the Power of a

1:

Even always

Name

3

were special occasions. You could

in the projects, birthdays

tell

barbecue

when

grill

was someone's birthday in the 'hood because the

it

would be

and there would be

fired up,

lots

and soul music piping from one of the apartments.

ter

of laugh-

My

sixth

birthday was no different than any other in the neighborhood, except for one unusual and prophetic

members presented me with

a

copy of a videotape of the 1986 movie

The Golden Child, starring Eddie Murphy.

my

someone

age.

didn't get

I

becoming the next footballs?

What

were respectable

Mom what

I

had

for?

It

What

Did they think

Siskel or Ebert?

What

ever

I

a strange gift for

was interested in

happened

about good old-fashioned cash? In

to cars

my book,

and

those

gifts for a six-year-old.

grown

was thinking, which was. Why

me

buy

videos,

seemed odd. Okay,, let

much

as I tried to

But

did what

I

it.

raised us to respect

intelligent folks

Four different family

gift.

ofall things? A

me

be

I

in the world gift

real, it

pretend to be happy,

I'd

folks so

been taught to do:

didn't dare say

would seemingly

I hadnt even asked

seemed

crazy.

And

wasn't feeling those

I

as

gifts.

smiled and said, "Thank

I

Mom didn't tolerate a lack of gratitude. If you were unappreciative, Mom "gave you something to be unappreciative about,"

you."

which was usually ing the rod.

and

said,

And

a tap

since

I

on the valued

rear end.

my

She didn't believe in spar-

life, I

flashed

my pearly whites

"Thank you."

For those of you

who

don't

own

the Eddie

Murphy Filmography

Collection (he should have stopped at Beverly Hills Cops 2, by the

way) or

who

weren't fortunate

enough

to get one, let alone four

me tell you what the movie's about. Eddie Murphy plays a detective who specializes in finding lost children. He is told he is the Chosen One who will find and protect the Lost One, also known as the Golden copies of the Golden Child video for your sixth birthday,

let

4

Reallionaire

Child, a Buddhist mystic

who was kidnapped by

"When

There's the old Chinese saying:

teacher will appear." Looking back,

were giving

What

me

the highest

then perceived

I

the pupil

the teacher will —Chinese

was

really a

took

It

me

their

me

the

incredible

years to absorb

the subtle power in those

got

on

promise of what lay

Golden Child. What an

appear

metaphor.

I

those videos.

ahead for me. They were calling

saying

mately,

loved ones

as a less-than-thoughtful gesture

ready,

is

me

ready, the

is

my

can see that

I

evil sorcerer.

the pupil

compliment by giving

parts

When

an

but

gifts,

ulti-

it.

And when

I

got

it, I

realized the

tremendous power parents and

guardians have over their children's legacies simply by the words

Had my

they choose to speak.

and unafiFirming sentiments, today.

I

know

family showered

my

would be

life

that for a fact. I've seen

my neighborhood,

and

Surprised? Don't be.

yes,

My

I

it

too

experienced

rock

my

is

it

me

with negative

drastically different

many times. in

You

can't

grow without some

immediate

There were people who, I'm prison simply because of where

strife.

sure, I

family,

in

and they

circle

is

per-

So never believe the hype.

thought that

lived.

it

my extended family.

have been supportive from day one, but nobody's inner fect.

saw

I

I'd

grow up

in

Children of single-parent

households come to accept the world's perception of their supposed plight.

There

are certain stereotypes

you have

to

combat from the

day you come out of your mother's womb. That's a given.

Some

kids in

my 'hood came

to believe that

no matter how hard

their parents

worked, they'd never be more than half a paycheck

ahead,

The unspoken code

if that.

thing: a nine-to-five

is

a

in the inner city teaches

way of life. Get used

to adulthood, you'll always be

working

a

to

it.

If

you one

you make

J-O-B, which means

it

you'll

Step

1:

Understand the Power of a

Name

5

always be Just Over Broke! In our case,

away from being

evicted.

darn hard. Actually, That's probably

Maybe

know

I

why I work

You

see,

although

within

my

family were like

conversation in

my

that's

that s

it

became one paycheck

why my mother worked

why

she worked so darn hard.

so darn hard.

lived in a single-parent household, the

I

And

steel.

there

house. People tend to think that single-parent

cipline or vision. That's not always the case.

mothers and fathers raising

the bonds in our

and

actually quite alive

was a challenging time

folks used to say the

the basement window.

I

everywhere

saw

turned

I

understood

Selling drugs, joining gangs

my

was destined

to

doubt

jump out of

this saying quite well

friends

succumbing

because

to the streets.

and dropping out of school.

Mom was

me

every day

why

witnessing the same thing. That's I

No

she reminded

become her golden

child.

After the birthday bash, the golden child moniker followed

wherever

I

It

main reason black

people didn't commit suicide was because you couldn't

that

vibrant.

on each other and themselves.

growing up black and male.

to be

But the old

I

And

my neighborhood. There was so much

despair that they were turning guns

that.

There were tons of

enormous sense of overwhelming hopelessness

that engulfed the children in

about

love, respect, dis-

their children in the projects.

community were

there was an

Still,

bonds

was plenty of "can do"

homes, especially minority homes, somehow lack

single

so

went. But that was just one of the names

I

was

me

called.

Black folks are notorious for creating nicknames for their family

members.

I

was

"little fella," "little

big

know what any of these names meant So many questions, in

pay me)

to stop. In

take a break, one

fact, that

what I'm

man" and so

I

"old soul."

asked

lots

people would beg

sure

I

of questions.

me

(sometimes

was partly a strategy to get

grown-up answered

in response to

didn't

my

me

to

"What's a

Reallionaire

6

golden child?" question by saying, "You are destined for greatness,

young man." "I

am?"

I

"Yes, sir,"

^

answered.

my missing front tooth, he

he said beaming. Even with

believed this of me

—and he made me

believe

too.

it,

Hard Work and Hard Love For years,

would go

to

I

my

never saw

bed

she

at night,

While

I

return

home from one

was getting dressed

Always working. In

mother

would

wanted

fact, I

saw much more of

As

see.

I

reflect

and commitment

my mom home

got to snag a few

leave for work.

would

for school the next day, she

her driving force, but back then I

me and

I

job and begin to get dressed for another.

than any six-year-old should that her dedication

kiss

When

I'm not lying.

sleep.

I

mother's back

on those

to caring for

days,

I

can see

our family was

hated that she worked so much.

with me.

moments with

my

I

cherished those days

when

her, reading, laughing, just

I

being

a kid.

My

siblings

and

I

Mom

called

many names: Superwoman,

Wonder Woman, Wondermom. She was potato salad. Oh, single

bound. Because

would have all.

we knew

And

if

all

that

she couldn't leap

and tall

it.

Her work

mom who

ethic left an imprint

for at least twenty-three days out of the

of

buildings in a

she could, she was the kind of

told us about

pure, tender loving care.

a side order

on

us

month, she was

We learned to stay out of her way on those

other six or seven days of the month!

Whenever she was home squeeze in with

Mom.

talking her ears off

If she

I

usurped every

was cooking,

I'd

bit

of time

I

could

be right beside her,

and watching her culinary genius. In

fact, I

got

Understand the Power of a

Step

1:

my

first taste

cook but

Name

7

Mom, who

of being a chef from magician

also a

when

came

it

was not only a great food for our

to providing

She could make a bag of potatoes, a can of beans, a package

family.

of ground beef and a loaf of bread go a long way. Most people would look

at those four

them

into a week's

Mom

items and see only one meal but

worth

for us.

Day one might

turned

be mashed potatoes

and ground beef Day two might be hamburgers with a

Day

beans.

three

might be

You're starting to get the

And

gist, aren't

she had an amazing

for turning

woman

leftover

hamburgers with French

Mom was working

you?

with a

full

pantry and refrigerator

can't beat

because she takes for granted that the meal will

Me?

I

gotta get

ingredient

enough

Of

—

a

it

little

to feed

it!

"A

like,

my

her rich

cooking

come out just

right the first time. Plus, I've

TLC

fries.

way with words. When we'd thank

our morsels into meals she'd say something

of

side

right.

added the main

—because my cupboards only have

my family." That's how Mom made

just

miracles.

course, there were certain times during every

month when

we'd have a serious shortage of food. In other words,

That's

no food.

A

no exaggeration. People

rich

woman

with a full

pantry and refrigerator can't

think that poor people embellish

beat

my

cooking because she

the degree of their lack, but there

takes for granted the

were days that our cupboards

come out just

were completely bare. There were days on end

when

in our refrigerator

that

get

it

right

will

Me? I gotta

right the first time.

the only thing

was the

meal

—Mom

light

came on when you opened

the door. That's

how

desperate

things got sometimes.

When

food was scarce, we had to be

lacking one staple item or another. If

creative.

we had

We

bread,

were always

we had no

Reallionaire

8

butter. If we ter,

had

you guessed

cooking

house. In

it,

We

skills.

And when food,

were feel

I

came

it

I

I

wasn't the kid I

move

single

who

my

it

waiting for

sat at the table

made

she

wanted most

that

was the best

was the kid who pulled up

man

a chair

prepared meals.

as she

did they

was during

hit! It

had

to be rich. Rich people always

thought. Rich people didnt have

many nights

honed

I

to cooking, experience

the hunger pains hit,

those times that

was peanut but-

That's probably where

jelly.

to bring the food over.

and watched every

If there

were poor so there were no cookbooks in our

teacher. Thankfully,

Mom

no

when

fact,

was no milk.

cereal, there

was much

the pain of hunger. For once

I

to

go

to

bed hungry. There

easier to

go to sleep rather than

wanted us

to be able to go to the

grocery store and shop without looking at the price tags.

I

dreamed

about that day.

While part.

Mom

was busy making miracles, the

Everybody

in the family

household, something that

Kids laugh

at

I

was expected

think

today.

think our humble beginnings

my

family.

Some of us were

We

all

learned to

some

tasks

a natural affinity for cooking, but the others

took

cook, clean and do laundry.

had

I

bond within

actually forged a closer

I

many homes

doing chores. Everyone's so busy that they don't take

time to have dinner with the family.

than others.

of us did our

to contribute to the

missing in

is

rest

turns burning something every

now and

better at

no such

then. There were

things as "gender- appropriate" roles in our house. If it needed to be

done, you did

it.

Kiki took out the trash.

Andre did the

laundry.

Jonathan and Alex mopped and cleaned the bathroom. As the youngest,

But

I

I

couldn't really

observed

carefully,

certain responsibilities,

The

fact that

I

do much more than help wash the

and when gave

my mom

it

was

finally

army

"spit

it

the

was the main

role

my turn to

and

model

dishes.

assume

shine." in

my

life

was

Step

Name

Understand the Power of a

1:

more

and acquaintances

single-parent household. families silent

had gotten

We

never talked about

why

or

how

a

our

that way, either inside or outside the house.

don't think

I

my father

until

No

to play the role.

I

I

In that respect, close relationship

I

A

we

He

ate

father,

and

I

had two

welcomed

had

and

slept activism, so

in

my

know

man who

my life,

did not see

my

father didn't

Mom

he and

main-

much baby

house, and I'm grateful for that.

my

I

loved

I

especially

that he loved me.

solid role

models with

the chance to

She was definitely

I

my

sit

Mom and Dad, but the feet of

at

could get her to slow

my mom's mom.

down

remember hearing

lot

moment.

and complained

Mom on the phone with one of her girl-

friends saying, "Nothing's going to change unless

what's the point of complaining?"

my family's

for a

mother's mother, proud and smart, and like

most independent black women, she worked a

tude was

somewhat

a

I

courteous relationship. There wasn't

Grandma, whenever

little. I

I

was a kind, thoughtful

have a consistent physical presence in

mama drama

might cry in

never cried outside those doors.

appreciate the fact that although

I

We

my father, although I never lived under the We spoke by phone, and on occasion I'd see

believed in hard work.

civil,

'hood, boys learned

with

He

tained a

my

was one of the lucky ones.

family gatherings.

much of him.

my friends

a conversation with

emotions outside the home.

same roof with him. at

had

was in puberty. In

the privacy of our rooms, but

I

grew up in

I

code seemed to dictate that we never discussed our father-

lessness. In fact,

about

neighborhood,

in the

my

most of

a matter of circumstance than of choice. Like

friends

him

9

I

legacy to me.

I

change

it,

wrote that one down: that

so

atti-

Reallionaire

10

A Taste One ing a

day, after school,

little

money.

extra

I

of the

heard

Good

Life

Mom talking to Andre about hav-

dashed from around the door with a big

I

my face. "Can we go to the Chinese all-you-can-eat place?" "How long have you been standing there?" Andre asked.

grin

on

"Long enough. Can we. Mama?"

Mom

agreed that

we went tion.

because

knew

known

for

its

great selec-

my

put a Tupperware container under

secretly

I

was time to give our stove the night off So

Chinese restaurant that was

to a

I'd

it

want

I'd

My own

a doggie bag.

jacket

doggie bag. Those

Styrofoam containers most restaurants used weren't enough for

ample

appetite, so

early in

nod

came prepared

I

—

"You always wanna have

life.

yes even

though

At the restaurant

I

that meant.

my stomach almost popped.

Buddha with an

like a little chocolate

Mom had taught me

a plan B, Farrah," she'd say. I'd

had no idea what

ate until

I

a lesson

my

Afro.

I

told

Mom

looked

I

that

I

had

a surprise gift for her.

"What's pink with black writing on

once told the

new

me

kids

"What that

is

Mom

that "big

it.

Mama?"

money" people always asked

on the block

I

this

well.

question of

in the financial world.

pink with black writing?" she repeated.

knew

asked. She'd

The

smile

on her

It

was

face disappeared

a joke

when

I

pulled out a newspaper.

"How

did you

.

.

.

?"

she said, looking around at Andre, Kiki,

Jonathan and Alex, then back I

at

me.

pushed the pink Financial Times newspaper toward

"Where did you the train a copy.

get this?" she asked.

downtown

her.

My brothers had hopped on

to the financial district

"Only big-money people read

newsstand to pick up

that paper.

Mama,"

I

said

Step

as

I

Understand the Power of a

1:

Name

walked over and planted a

11

kiss

on her cheek.

"That's right, baby," she said, hugging me.

"And one right?"

that

face again.

one worn by one day

night, as

I

would be I'd

how

family and

was da Vinci.

I

candy

how

I

On

store.

able to put that

that

face

was

as

that night,

I

same smile on her

be able to take her to eat wherever she

expensive the restaurant.

had on many occasions,

became the

the ceiling

a kid in a

Only this time

at the ceiling.

my

I

One day

wanted, no matter

That

and the smile on her

chest swelled with pride,

as the

vowed

ain't

said.

I

Mom's wide

were gonna be big-money people,

day,

I

was only

lay in

my bed

staring

wasn't counting the cracks. Suddenly

surface for

would

I

me

to visualize

get us there.

six years old,

It

but

I

what

I

desired for

was the canvas, and

I

was already becoming

the Energizer Bunny.

My

dreams.

any thoughts of lack and negativity to enter

didn't allow

I

mind was

racing with possibilities and

my brain. Watching

my

mother

toil

away

at

for success insatiable. Yes, insatiable.

may have been at

At age

six,

drink a

lot

of green

tea,

but

it's

ate

wanted

me up and

to give

For once

I

filled

—

Harriiet

ate.

Tubman, "conductor"

because

I

really

and

truly

She was always taking care of us.

to take care of her.

of

the Underground Railroad

My

me with hope

my mother a treat.

wanted

deepest desire

You go on or

not the

of the dream that counts.

dream

thirst

Mom to dinner

bucks you could eat well and

five

made my

my

Chinese restaurant, where for

a

about

size

to treat

job after job

Reallionaire

12

The Sweet Smell of Success didn't talk a lot about being rich, but

I

lot.

That's

what poverty

do

will

for you.

my mother taught

She showed us those. In fact,

how

us to

sure thought about

move beyond

to save for a rainy

it

a

While some of our neigh-

money and throwing

bors were taking their hard-earned lottery,

I

it

at the

the lottery mentality.

—and we had plenty of

day

we had so many rainy days we

around

started walking

the house with umbrellas.

We could always tell when the floods were on the horizon. Mom was always honest about our

situation.

She didn't believe in pre-

tending that things were better than they were. If the lights were

about to be disconnected because

we

couldn't pay the

whip out the

"Let's

bill,

she'd say,

candles." For the

next few days we'd simply cherish the I've

never been poor,

and prepare

daylight

to

only broke. Being poor other is

a frame of mind.

Being broke

is

when

night

bump

into each

fell.

On one or those dark nights tI remem•

i

temporary.

t^.,

.

i-

i

i

.i

•

i

ber Kiki listening to a small, battery-

operated radio in her room. songs from Janet Jackson's

was

titled,

"Control."

move out of

own

first hit

The song

album was

talked about

playing.

how

One The

of the track

she wanted to

the shadows of her family and be the captain of her

ship. Like Janet,

I

wanted

to call

my own

shots.

I

was an ordi-

nary kid planning on accomplishing some very extraordinary things.

I

began to

was feeling let

my Cheerios,

the whole world

as

we used

know that

One day while Andre was

"little

to say. Pretty soon,

I

man" had big dreams.

cleaning his side of the room, he ran

across an interesting discovery: an envelope of old Polaroid pictures.

He

immediately started laughing.

funny.

He showed me

the picture.

I

walked over to see what was so It

was

a

snapshot of me

when

I

— Step

1:

Understand the Power of a

had

a tie

cardboard

old.

crayon box that I

remember

clear that

Already

13

my Sunday-go-to-meeting outfit. draped around my neck. In my right hand were cutout business cards. In my left hand, I held an oversized

was four years I

Name

I

I'd

I

was sporting

believe

I

I

was using

as a briefcase. It

was

was not planning on being a completely normal

kid.

staring at that picture for the longest time.

become aware of what poverty

felt like.

And

suddenly

had two personas. The kid who loved candy and cartoons. kid

who wanted

know how

desperately to

could figure out a way to make enough

As

would have

fate

enough money almost.

It

was

in

it,

my first

my pocket

the world

money to support his

my

mother

which IVe

great things often

come

together.

for a container of

body

lotion.

worked

the

so he

family.

successful business enterprise put

to treat

also a total fluke,

And

I

to that dinner

since learned

One night after bathing,

What I found was

is I

the

way

searched

bottle after bottle

of near-empty containers. Frustrated with having to run around the

apartment to find lotion,

entire

bathroom and turned them

enough As and

all

of the bottles into the

their heads. All

bowl.

I

everybody

few hours

I

for resale.

would need

Andre stumbled

into

wanted was

I

it

hit

likes to feel

me.

I

could mix

smooth and

soft,

squeezed every drop of lotion into

Then I washed out

and got them ready few more bowls.

all,

I

bird body.

waiting for the lotions to drain,

for the next

glass

brought

on

all

my little

lotions. After

So

own

pour over

sat there

sell

right? its

I

to

I

went

to see

all

of the original lotion bottles

to the kitchen

which

lotions

and pulled out a

mixed the

my laboratory and frowned.

best.

"Boy, what are

you doing?" "I'm gonna

sell

Andre shook you, Farrah."

these lotions,"

his head.

I

said.

"Nobody's gonna buy old lotion from

Reallionaire

14

"Yes, they are," yet. I

I I

said.

"And

not old because nobody's used

it's

it

I'm going to start seUing them tomorrow." didn't care

what Andre thought,

was so excited

worked

bottles,

I

was going to

I

could hardly sleep that night.

sell

The

that lotion!

next day, while

of their

feverishly to get the original labels peeled off

asked Kiki

I

"What's the I

I

if

would help me with

she

name of your product?"

hadn't thought about that. But

labels. Vaseline Intensive

"What about

I

labels.

she asked. I

did notice

Care. Jergens. Avon.

Farrah's lotions?"

my own all

of the other

A store-label brand.

asked.

She frowned and shook her head no. I

remembered

that I'd once seen a billboard that read Taylor

Enterprises.

"Kiki, what's an enterprises?"

She laughed a

"What about

little.

"You mean

enterprise?

Farrah Gray Enterprises?"

I

It's

a business."

asked eagerly. "Or

FG

Enterprises?"

directly

on the

label.

my

business

name

"Have you thought about how much

you're

"That sounds good." Kiki started to write

gonna charge?"

"What about "I don't

"Why

$5?"

I

said optimistically.

think so," she replied.

not?"

"Because this bottle right here," she

said,

ounce, empty lotion bottle, "cost

less

a teeny-weeny bottle like this for

more than

"Oh,"

I

"That's

The ter

said. "Well,

more

and brothers,

I

than $5, Farrah. You

can't sell

a big one."

what about $1.50?"

like it," she

next day was

holding up a sixteen-

my

answered.

first

business day.

With

came up with the name

help from

my sis-

First Impression.

My

Step

Name

Understand the Power of a

1:

15

inventory consisted of three bottles of scented lotions.

name.

a

A product line. And enough energy to light the entire block!

Next,

would have

I

product

selling a

My

sales pitch

you

like to

I

had

I

to find the perfect outfit. After

selling yourself

is

was simple. "Hi,

buy

a bottle

part of

all,

was asking $1.50 per

I

my name

of my lotion?

Would

Farrah Gray.

is

bottle.

called First Impression."

It's

my neighbors' faces. It was a mixture sure my family thought I'd lost my mind.

can remember the looks on

of shock and delight. I'm

But with

my first paycheck.

lion dollars.

made

I'd

minutes and three buyers

forty-five

I

$9,

own

didn't

made my

I'd

first

a wallet, but

I

later I

step toward

was sure

and the whole world was about

must have danced around the neighborhood

remember being

couldn't

thing

all

on

my own

that happy.

and then

The

selling

returned

to

I

mil-

for one.

know about

for at least

thrill

it?

my first

was time

it

home

it.

I

an hour.

I

of creating some-

was hooked. Entre-

preneurship wasn't going to be a one-time thing for me.

I

was in

love with that feeling.

Now,

you're probably thinking I'm a poor mathematician because

three bottles at $1.50 has never totaled $9, right? Well, you're right.

Two

change.

Of course,

with a $5

"You

"Nope.

neither did

want the

don't?" I

I

third

and

last

customer paid

ma'am,"

I said.

I

said,

then

your future." I

opened the door,

you looking

The

responded quickly.

"How did it go?" When I returned are

I.

right change," she said.

just invested in

"Thank you,"

my sister

each because they didn't have the correct

don't have the right change,

bill. "I

"I don't

as

me $2

customers paid

jetted I

zoomed

to the living

for?"

back to the apartment. As soon past her for her dictionary.

room, Kiki stared

at

me. "What

Reallionaire

16

I

kept turning the pages. "In-vest. In-vest ..."

"Farrah,

what

are

you

"My last customer said,

talking about?" 'I

invested in your future.'

What s

'invested'

mean: "It I

but

means she

beamed. it

sure

believes in you," she said.

I still

wasn't 100 percent sure

sounded good.

Only 999,991

dollars

And

away from

besides,

my first

I

what "invested" meant, was nine

million.

dollars richer.

Step

1:

A Name

Understand the Power of

17

REAL POINTS: Nothing happens without

Before You Begin You have

effort.

to lay the foundation for

success, even before you begin to plot your future.

1

.

Watch those around you and

learn from them.

If

people are

working hard but not getting ahead, don't dismiss them as role models. They have a life

and the values

a role model there 2.

if

you

in

lot

that

to teach you, both

your family, find one

in

life. If

realities of

you can't

find

your community. They are

look.

Accept your parents

for

what they

a wonderful mother to lead

you—and

me

are.

unfortunately,

I

was

fortunate to have

may

by example, but you

make peace

Nonetheless, you need to

teach

about the

can lead to a better

They can

with your family.

sometimes

that lesson

not.

is

what not

to do. 3.

A name meaning call

provides insights into the future path. Understand the of your given

name,

you, then choose the

listen to

the

name you want

names

to

other people

be known

you choose a name, you are choosing your destiny.

chose Farrah;

my

the next chapter, said 4.

it

family I

chose Golden

ultimately

by.

My mother

Child; but as you'll

chose my own name, even

to myself: Twenty-First-Century

When

if

see I

in

only

CEO.

Never underestimate the power of a name when setting up a

company. Cute phrases and puns

will

get you somewhere, but

they won't get you everywhere. The end must be reflected

in

the

beginning. 5.

Listen

and accept

positive reinforcement. Don't listen to the

negative. There are those

why

who will say that you

not. You'll find that

more

"because no one else has done a challenge. Don't

let

"can't."

Ask them

often than not the reason

it."

is

That's not a dead end; that's

negative people drag you down.

Reallionaire

18

6.

Great ventures start with small ideas. Don't be afraid to exper-

Keep your eyes open, your mind working and your body

iment.

ready for work. You don't liave to but you'll never

made

hit

a

nine dollars on

most important nine 7.

Invest

enjoy 8.

home

dollars

you

you don't

find

in

learn to swing. it

I

only

was probably the

ever made. it

just to

spend

it.

You need

who

will

to

help you. Just keep looking

them. Don't give up; keep asking for help. That's not in

your future. There are a

the world. Don't ever

let

anyone

tell

you

lot

was put on Earth I only have to

to fulfill

a

name

to achieve it

it

of

good

differently.

REALLIONAIRE AFFIRMATION

/

time,

tlie first

but you also need to think about your future.

begging, that's investing

people

I

if

a liome run

"business," but

your future. Don't make

in

life,

There are always people until

run

my first

liit

specific purpose.

Step

Name

Understand the Power of a

1:

19

Reallionaire Exercise:

What's

Names

are powerful.

Name?

a

Your name

typically have a hard time it.

So

lets explore

something to help people

is

you from the next person.

tinguish

forget

in

I

dis-

have a unique name. People

pronouncing

it

at first,

but they never

your name and find the power that

lies

inside of you. First,

they

find out

what your name means. Ask your parents why

named you your name.

to the Internet

If they just "pulled

and do an extensive

search.

it

out of a hat," go

There

are different

My

meanings depending on the language you choose. Arabic means "burden bearer." Imagine

found

den

this out.

affirmed

I felt

in

when

I

I'm put here to lead and inspire. That's not a bur-

in a negative sense;

Let's

how

name

it's

an honor.

complete a quick exercise that

will provide

some

insights

about your specific purpose.

My given

name

My parents

is:

named me

this because:

My name means:

Sometimes people go by nicknames, but even nicknames carry meaning. Look inside yourself and find out

Why

do you go by Bob instead of Robert?

if

your name

Do you

really

be called Missy, or would Michelle be your preference?

fits

you.

want

to

Would you

20

Reallionaire

move through

the world differently if you carried a

more aligned with your purpose? Think about becoming name.

a reallionaire

is

to

become

real.

it.

That

name

The

that

first

starts

was

step to

with your

STEP

Never Fear Rejection how became I

a real salesman by learning to see "no"

as an opportunity, not a rejection

Muhammad

Ali

rubbed a

lot

of people the wrong way.

He

was

He was the proverbial thorn in white, middle-class Americas side. And he knew it. Because he was also very intelligent. He read a lot. He studied great thinkers. He observed the world. He spoke out about the inequities in American outspoken, cocky and handsome.

when

society

people

who

that kind of behavior got

Like Ali,

it

I

was time

for

first

business venture,

was

still

a kid; don't get I

I

me

also started to

me

to start observing the world. After

stopped watching a

wrong.

I still

questioned the

of television.

I

loved cartoons and video

I

was becoming more intrigued

with the world. Like "the greatest boxer of I

lot

branch out by reading more books and

watching the people around me.

himself,

admire

dig that.

my

games, but

I

speak up in the face of hostility. Ali was

aren't afraid to

unflappable, and

you lynched.

way

all

times," as Ali called

things had been set

21

up

in society.

22

Reallionaire

While flipping through the aren't made in Champions ^ are made Qvms. Champions ^

l it television channels i

member ,

have from something d they ^ deep inside them— a desire, a

have the

vision. skill,

They have

and

the will

•

i

.

to

•

r j u t-l j about-race that day. Ihose words i

the will

.

,

must be stronger ^

,.,

me

like a t

,

cheese. ,

,

Ali

r

ton or government ,

,

,

would be

It

was able

r n to ruUy

r

•

l r years berore

did,

Right around the time started to

I

hang out with

her family and the

first

t 1

j u u comprehend the j

i

r

seventy or those words, but I

I

i

i

j j poor get prison. »A;r My lbrain did an

than the skill

— Muhammad

r li ior a black political party

l l Yht rich get richer andj the

say

hit

But

j

once heard a •

•

^

dream, a

l

•

•

i

i

when

began to rumble.

I

heard those "rich get richer" comments,

Mom a lot more. Mom was the oldest in

to start her

own

business.

started a full-service dry cleaners pick-up

At age

and delivery

fifi:een

she

service in her

neighborhood. By her twentieth birthday she'd opened a day-care center and even hired her former sixth-grade teacher to her.

She ran

Mom

then

this enterprise until

few.

Her

mom

is

tenacity

is

her hustle. Sean

family's

table because

many

"P.

different businesses: insur-

and an advertising agency,

off the charts, but

hustle," but Diddy's got

of our

she was twenty-five years old. Since

has been a partner in

ance, executive search firms

work with

what

I

Diddy" Combs

nothing on

Mom.

DNA. We do what we have

to

admire most about

a

my

says he's got the "right

I'm glad hustle

do

to

we know that nothing happens

name

is

a part

to put

food on the

you

get off your

unless

butt and get into action.

During the summer of 1991,

Mom started to

talk to

me more

just before

I

turned the big seven.

about her business. As a freelance

consultant, she helped entrepreneurs start their

own

enterprises

and

helped established businesses keep theirs running smoothly. "There

Step

2:

Never Fear Rejection

of things

are lots

I

23

can teach you about business," she

you can teach me,

there are lots of things

My

eyes

"Like what?"

what goes on

my

Mom

book.

although then said I

I

I

I

too."

head. "I can?"

Mom

nodded

yes.

kids think," she responded. "I'm very interested in in that

head of yours."

little

Word! Nobody had before.

"And

asked.

I

how

"Like

my

bucked out of

said.

ever really asked

me

anything

turned back to her paperwork, and

I

like that

turned back to

could hear the television playing in the background,

wasn't really paying

much

my

made

heard something that

attention to the newscast. But

antennae

rise.

The anchor

something about someone being a "twenty-first-century CEO."

turnedrto the television set to see a crowd of people erupting from

their seats in applause.

This "twenty-first-century

proudly to the podium.

I

because he was wearing a

figured he

And

suit.

that only preachers, pallbearers

My eyes widened audience.

What had

man

as the

thought, / already had

it.

As

walked over and turned

it off.

kissing

me on

Then

I

folks

wear

in the expensive suit

sat

TV?

that

suits.

waved

Why were

man

for

you

those

had. Maybe,

gazing at the television.

"Time

to the

I

Mom

to go to bed," she said,

she turned on her stereo and put in a cassette of one of her

Whitehead.

"Ain't

Ironic,

No

Stopping Us

us by example

Now" by McFadden

&

Mom's

to

huh?

Things were looking up,

ing

and important

the forehead. "I've gotta get ready for work."

favorite songs,

show

everybody in the 'hood knows

wanted what

I

walked

must be somebody important

he done to get to be on

people clapping for him?

CEO"

I

could

tell.

goal

had been

what hard work could do, and she was

on every promise. She was going

to be our Harriet

Moses. She would lead her children out of poverty.

deliver-

Tubman, our

And guess what?

24

Reallionaire

Her golden

would be

child

right beside her. Believe that.

Mom had told me the year before that when would teach me. So

more from

her, she

make good

her promise of spending

her to

become

may come to who wait, hut only

the things

left

me

Mom

to pull

"Mama, what ^^^^

" I

exactly does a consul-

^^ked.

^^e placed her paperwork

Lincoln

consultant helps people.

what makes

it

work. If something

company, they help that business figure out smoothly, so that

make

can make

it

is

how to

money and be

aside.

"A

They look at

wrong with keep

it

profitable.

a

the

running

Does

that

sense?"

nodded

look

to the side

occupation.

by those

business to see

was

It

^^^^^^ her

^^^P

^^>'

hustle.

I

invited

I

my business associate. That's right, my business asso-

Things

-Abraham

decided to ask her to

I

more time with me.

time for

who

to learn

Let the meetings, interactions and transactions begin.

ciate.

those

was ready

I

at

yes. "You're sorta like a

people and help them

doctor then, right? Doctors

whatever's

fix

wrong with them,"

I

said.

Mom

smiled and shook her head yes. "You're something

Yes, a consultant I

understood.

is I

a business doctor.

themselves

called

enough it's all

I

little like

finally

a doctor."

understood what

My world

made

know that in

about the briefcase and the

on

certain clothes.

certain manner.

my mother did.

And most

And

I'd

who

watched

business there's one ironclad rule: suit.

that successful people

Walked

She was

sense. I'd seen lots of folks

businessmen and women.

television to

learned early

wore

a

else.

had

a certain look.

They

a certain way. Carried themselves in a

importantly, possessed certain "toys."

Step

Never Fear Rejection

2:

One

of the

25

things

first

when

noticed

I

attended meetings with

I

Mom was that, at the beginning or end of the meetings, the grownups always handed each other these small pieces of paper. Clearly, I'd seen these slips

one from cardboard when really

I

of paper before because

was four years

old.

But

understood what role they played in business.

by these two-inch-by-three-and-a-half-inch sometimes colored paper.

I

slips

don't think

I I

had made

I

I

was intrigued

of white, ivory or

was never a meeting

also noticed there

where they weren't exchanged. So,

one night

my bedtime,

after

we'd arrived

home and

walked into the kitchen where

I

I'd

stayed

up way

past

my mother was com-

pleting a presentation.

"What

are

you

still

doing upr" she asked, never looking up from

her notepad. "I

wanna see

"What

those pieces of paper they gave

you

at the

meeting."

paper?"

"Those card things,"

My mother frowned.

I

responded.

She had no idea what

I

was talking about.

"Farrah, go to bed. I've gotta finish this presentation."

But

I

"Those

persisted.

cards.

Mama. Those

that everybody traded."

You

swapped

something

baseball

cards,

"They're like baseball cards," Finally

my

I

see,

to

me, I'd

it

little

pieces of paper

looked

like

my

done with

they'd

friends.

said.

mother stopped writing. "Boy, what

are

you

talking,

about?" I

walked over and grabbed her

big as

I

was. "In here,"

I

said,

briefcase,

which was almost

as

handing her the mahogany-colored

contraption.

She opened

it

and moved some papers around

her shoulders. "Those,"

I

said,

pointing to a neat

as

I

little

looked over stack of the

26

Reallionaire

cards she'd been given during the meeting that night.

"These?"

nodded

I

yes.

"What

are those?"

They tell everybody else who you

"They're business cards, Farrah.

what you do, what company you work

are,

"Can

I

see

me

a small stack.

stuflf like that."

began reading them one by one.

I

.

.

manager

.

.

.

.

"Bill

Young" written

"Mama,

what's a

"Chief executive

my

I

you

told

My eyes

A white

in black letters. Bill

up.

lit

one with the

officer.

They run

things," she said as she scribbled

of paper. "That's the person

legal-sized sheet

in the

company.

I

to go to bed."

"Do

they

make

a lot

of money?"

She laughed. "Yeah, usually they make a lot of money. smiled and stared at the card. "Can

I

CEO.

Young,

makes the most important decisions

usually

thought

eye.

Finally,

CEO?"

few numbers on a

who

and so on.

vice president,

stumbled upon a card that caught

name

a

and

noticed that each one had certain words underneath the person's

name. President I

for

them?"

She handed I

\

I

A whole lot."

have one of your cards?"

"For what?" "I

wanna do something with

it.

Make up

"Just one," she said, never looking

you again

tell I

the hallway with

So

I

headed

her coming

I'd

gone past

my new

light.

for the

she wouldn't

I

my

"Now,

limit with her, so

possession.

Andre screamed bathroom.

know I was

if

again.

Can

I?"

don't let

me

to go to bed."

knew when

turned on the

something.

still

I

was

me, "Boy, turn that

light ofP."

enough away from

Mama so

far

awake, but close enough so

needed to bolt

For the next few hours

I

vanished into

headed to the bedroom and

I

at

I

for the

scribbled

I

could hear

bedroom.

away on

sheets of

notebook

Step

2:

Never Fear Rejection

paper, designing

27

my own

business card.

I

number of things.

tried a

"Farrah Gray, President." That was okay, but

me

might get I

want

didn't

in

my

confused with the president of the United

moved

I

was taken any-

title

One

on.

and

doesn't

become great

by claiming greatness.

Hmmm.

"Vice President." I

States,

that to happen. Besides,

mind, that

way. So

thought people

I

Nope,

—

all

^African

proverb

could remember him doing was stand-

ing in the shadow of the president.

boy behind anybody, so

"CEO. Chief

wasn't interested in being the

I

was out

vice president

too.

My mom

Executive Officer."

man. The person who was the most powerful liked the

sound of that.

said this in the

Plus, I'd heard several people

was the

company.

on

television

mention that we were approaching the twenty-first century. that whatever first

I

would do

as a

businessman,

century, whatever a century was.

traced

my

column.

Then

my first The dishes.

do

I

knew

in the twenty-

took the black marker and

mother's business card about eight times, four in each

And

I

I

I'd

I

then

grabbed

I

wrote the following:

my

round-tip scissors and cut

it

out.

That was

real business card.

next day after

My

I

got

mother worked

insisted that

we do our

home from at least

school,

I

started

washing

eighteen hours a day, so she

parts to keep the

household running

28

Reallionaire

smoothly.

A

briefcase so

and

asked her

if

me

needed to "be

I

plates

day

creative." So, that

my books.

That s when

it

I

a

our meet-

at

she wasnvt going to buy

from breakfast that morning,

sitting hext to

me

she would buy

could be like the other businesspeople

I

and that

glasses

box

earlier I'd

She laughed and told

ings.

case

few days

me

a brief-

I

rinsed the

noticed

my lunch-

as

me.

hit

I

had

already

a briefcase. I I

rushed over to the

grabbed

washed debut

it

as

like the

and polished

my

briefcase.

I

cards

I

women

my

I

did

for

attache;

Look of the things

little

all

Vaseline,

out,

when

my first all I

over the floor, and

Hulk lunchbox.

After

was ready

it

for

I

jackets

loved the

hung

just

they walked

down

the

business meeting.

needed was

I

a suit.

loved most about watching political debates

goooood."

the cuff links,

and the cool way the

men

I'd

tailored

and anchormen.

of the television admiring those

told Andre, "that's

had

Armani!

off of politicians, businessmen

for hours in front I

ties,

its

hand

in

it

or caucuses or even the ten o'clock news were the suits the

wore.

I

my

practiced walking with

was ready

and

Incredible

with a

it

businessmen and

my business

One

dripping water

my hand-me-down

of Chicago.

streets

table,

suits.

gonna be me. I'm gonna make

I'd sit

"One

my

day,"

suit

look

read somewhere that fortune does not change

men

but rather unmasks them.

That day had and

briefcase,

my mother's two

was time

it

boy ensemble.

finally arrived.

It

was time

next meeting.

categories:

Now

that

I

had the business card

to unveil the final piece for

me

to think about

Most of the

clothes in

of the business-

what

I'd

wear to

my closet fit into

hand-me-downs or hand-me-downs. That was

it.

Step

Never Fear Rejection

2:

29

There were years that

it

never got one

my older

instead got whatever

But

I

was cool because in

new

moment, none of that

this particular

I

and

to be looking like a million

was going

I

ensemble only cost around

Now,

at the

time

own

a

complete

affectionately call "pieces of a suit."

And

too big.

sizes

world of business,

to step out into the

bucks even

if

my total

five dollars.

didn't

I

wear anymore.

relatives couldn't

mattered much.

was about

piece of clothing but

A

suit. I

had what

A jacket

pair of pants.

button-down

a couple of cotton

I

now two

None of

shirts.

which, by the way, were the same color. Most poor people possess

one

they wear to funerals, weddings or graduation cere-

suit that

Not me.

monies.

had

to connect the

came time

for dressing up.

dots

when

You

just never

it

come around I

put

table

knew what

I

^^^^

was gonna

^.^

j^nmasks them.

the corner wearing.

lunchbox briefcase on the

and headed

empty a

my

I

my

to

space. Staring

me

closet,

where

in the face

I

stood in front of the near-

was an old pair of sneakers and

well-worn pair of brown "church" shoes. Church shoes are the

shoes you only wear to events at church. shirts,

one short-sleeve with blue

On

on

stripes

it.

the rack were two

The

other one was

white with long sleeves that had a space on the chest where a pocket used to be.

The pairs

pants category was even

of pants.

year round. I'd

One

knew

I

more

for each season, although I

wasn't going to wear

never seen businessmen in jeans.

owned

a pair!

duroy pants barely

I

knew

my

dismal. Basically,

I

I

wore each of them

my jeans

often

had four

to the meeting.

wondered

if

they even

wasn't going to wear the bone-colored cor-

cousin had given me.

move without

I

I

They were

squeaking. So that

left

my

so tight

I

could

navy pants or the

30

Reallionaire

black pants.

It

The navy

The

Mom

call

had

to

hem

them.

in

hem them

so

I

wasn't that

wouldn't trip

I

tall at

when

I

my neighborhood called

black pants were what kids in

were pants that came above your ankle. Some

"floods." Floods

people

tough decision.

a

pants had this huge

the time, so

walked.

was

them

They were

high-risers.

called floods because the

make

sure your

pants were pulled up high enough that they would not be

damaged

thinking was that

if a

flood ever came, you'd need to

by the water. Wearing floods was always 'hood. So

I

wasn't sure

in a pair of floods.

with the only

Now,

at

and

jacket

wanted

That meant

suit coat in

to step out to the business

my closet. And

world on

seven and a half years old a pair of

its

navy

head. But

it

slacks

was

meeting

be wearing a pair of navy pants

I'd

wasn't the fashion Adonis

I

but even

I

a cause for ridicule in the

was brown.

it

I

am

I

knew

today by any standard, that wearing a

brown

was not going to turn the fashion had, so

all I

I

put them on with the

long-sleeve white shirt.

There was

The

tie.

out a

I

one missing

link.

Had to have the tie. No

fly tie.

wanted

still

So

to wear.

and

That's

when

creative." toilet

I

So

I

A black one with didn't I

the

to tie a tie

ever complete with-

There

brown and

I

found the

tie I

ivory stripes. Perfect.

still

one small thing: the

tie

first

thing about tying a

tie.

wasn't

Mom:

"Be

went into the bathroom, climbed on the back of the

assist

tie. I've

around

closet.

is

remembered the immortal words of

next thirty minutes

the

know

onto the vanity, where

come and

business suit

was off to Andre's

it

was almost ready but there was

a clip-on,

A very important missing link.

I

I

kneeled to work on

fidgeted with the

me, but she wasn't never worn a

my

shirt collar.

tie,"

And

tie.

much

Then

I

my

tie.

For the

yelled for Kiki to

help. "I don't

know how

she said laughing. Finally,

although

it

I

got

was cutting off my

Step

Never Fear Rejection

2:

oxygen supply,

31

at least

it

wasn't falling

Business-boy was finally

off.

ready for the world.

Presentation, Presentation, Presentation It

was a breezy night in

and was waiting anxiously

October.

late

ness cards next to

worked on

my

I

had placed

I

so

also

and

lings

when

I

I

could

I

in a

my newly designed busi-

could look

had organized

with cards, pencils and office supplies from could look the part

my homework

which was taking place

a stack of

my math book

schoolwork.

finished

my mother to come home so

for

find out about her big presentation,

suburb of Chicago.

I'd

them while

my

I'd

practically everyone at school that

unveiling the Farrah Gray, twenty-first-century I

I

told

I

"briefcase"

my mother's

got to the meeting.

that night at "our" next business meeting.

at

all

stash, so

of my

I

sib-

was going to be

CEO business card

could hardly concen-

my lesson because I wanted so badly to get to that meeting to shove my business cards down people's throats. A few minutes later, my mother walked through the door. I shot out of my seat like a cannonball. "Ready," I said. "My business cards are in here, in my briefcase." My mother glanced at the lunchtrate

on

box and smiled. "Did you ing.

I

nodded

Mom

finish

yes. "Let's get going," she said.

was a student of great thinkers. She was always reciting

memorable quotes. One of her It's

your homework?" she said laugh-

often the

last

favorites was, "Don't

be discouraged.

key in the bunch that opens the door." Before we

entered the building that evening she quoted another of her favorite sayings,

"Never

entered a

me

room

let

full

them

see

you sweat." Two minutes

later,

we

of people, most of them white. She introduced

either as her business associate or the

CEO

of

FG

Enterprises.

— 32

I

Reallionaire

said hello

and took

speak unless spoken

how

clothes,

my

to.

seat.

But

I

dressed in a black

He

seemed

suit.

was smiling to

knew

checked out everybody, noticing their

table

Mom was

from

as

know who he

was.

I

was curious.

serious.

ing,

He had

was

had managed

much on

to

well,

the

bunch that opens

tell

me

the I

this

Sean

Most of

and

way

not

energy.

mode. Very

over to the meet-

shouldn't flood her with

that if the meeting

we would be

able to

went

move out of

^^e projects and into a nice apartment

Don't be discouraged. often the last key in

man

down on Mom. But

a different vibe

which meant she was preparing, and

It's

thin

attention?

Mom was in her "I'm about to present"

She hadn't talked very

questions. She

Who

who was getting so much

with the gray ponytail.

Meanwhile,

tall,

people entered the room, and everyone

the people around the table seemed to look

man

a

His hair was pulled back into a graying pony-

Connery-looking dude

the

Never

to be well behaved.

they addressed each other, stuff like that.

At the opposite end of the

tail.

I

downtown.

I

was praying the meeting

^^^^ "^y^n

the lock

though

htiovt

—Anonymous I

could

I

had

said

two prayers

and one during the meeting—

tell

people weren't responding to

Mom's presentation. Some of them looked bored. Some looked at their watches.

They had few questions and

basically appeared to

be uninter-

Mom closed the presentation, and almost instantly everyone was up and out of the door. They filed past Mom

ested in

what she had

without so

much

good-bye to the

to say.

as a

man

boo, but they

all

went out of their way

to say

with the gray ponytail.

Mom walked oui into the hallway to talk to a few of the attendees. The mystery man watched Mom leave the room, then he walked over to me.

Step

2:

Never Fear Rejection

33

"Hi, I'm Roi Tauer."

"I'm Farrah Gray,"

down

looked

at

said,

I

business card to me.

CEO,

huh?" he asked

business card.

He

he handed

his

as

could read, but pronouncing his company's

I

a stretch.

"That's Ideators," he said, laughing.

The

my

it.

"Twenty-first-century

name was

handing him

"It's

card said he was a twentieth-century

hard for some adults."

CEO,

founder of a think

tank.

"What's a think tank?"

"A think tank

a

is

I

asked.

group that meets to brainstorm and come up

with strategies for a particular project or topic," he

you

like to

"Yeah,

I

"Would

said.

be in one of my think tanks?"

mean,

yes,"

I

said.

"But

why would you

ask

me

to be in

your think tank?" "First,

you know

to ask 'why.' Second, you're intuitive. Third,

you're inquisitive. Fourth, sixth,

he

you hear things on the ground.

you have no sense of limits, and you have

on the

and

fiiture,"

said.

"Thank you,"

I

said.

How did

"Farrah, your mother's told all

a frx

Fifth

the right intentions

cessftil

businessman.

"Yes,

I

"Then

Mom

do," it's

I

Is

me

he

know

of that?

a lot about you.

and motivation that true?

all

for

She said you have

wanting to become a suc-

Do you want to be an entrepreneur?"

said eagerly.

your turn to blaze your

own

trail,"

he

said.

entered the room. She wore a pained facial expression, a

look her children

knew

all

too well. She had not gotten the outcome

she wanted. Mr. Tauer walked over and patted her on the shoulder.

"That was over that in business

in the first ten minutes.

you have

to

." .

.

I

was

just telling

your son

34

Reallionaire

Mom just walked over

to the table to

pack her belongings. She

high-fived me, which indicated that she'd been cast

As Emily Dickinson once

destroyed.

the highest."

I

said,

down

but not

"A wounded deer leaps

Mom would bounce back.

knew

"Farrah says he's an entrepreneur," Roi said.

"He

you he made

tell

"No," he

turning toward me. "You're holding out on me?"

said,

made almost

"I sold lotion. I

"Good

his first sale recently?"

ten dollars too!"

he replied.

for you,"

Mom motioned for me to get ready to leave. "Do you and your

the door with us.

you want I

to be

when you grow

a business

you could

"That would be fun,"

I

As we rode down on the

friends ever talk about

what

up, Farrah?"

nodded yes. "What would you

up with

Roi walked toward

say if you

and your

friends

came

start together?"

said.

elevator Roi asked,

"What do you think

about the name Unique for your business?" "It's

unique,"

"Run Club

the

I

said, laughing.

name Urban Neighborhood Economic

Enterprise

past your friends."

"Urban what?" "Urban Neighborhood Economic Enterprise Club. Ciao," he said as

we

exited.

"Chow,"

I

said back.

What

the heck was

Urban Neighborhood

Economic Enterprise Club? And what did he mean by "chow"?

Unique

A few days later Roi was there

I

UNEEC

got to attend another meeting with

also.

I

was glad to

see

him.

I'd

Mom,

and

remembered

Step

2:

Never Fear Rejection

35

everything he said at our

meeting, although

initial

I

hadn't

had the

chance to run the Urban Neighborhood Economic Enterprise Club or "unique" thing past struck

my

friends.

At the end of the meeting we

up another conversation. you

"So, did "Yes,

sir, I

give

any thought to our

last talk?"

Roi asked.

did."

"And what did you think?" "Well,

haven't talked to

I

business,"

I

my friends yet,

but

own

your

to start a

said.

"Good, good. Did you know that people start

do want

I

will give

you money

business?"

My eyes got bigger than a stack of silver-dollar pancakes. money

will give us

Roi nodded

"Do we Roi they

let

to start our

it

businesses?"

back to them?"

I

out a hearty laugh. "No, Farrah,

make money. The people

"Cool," "Yes,

own

"People

yes.

have to give

Sometimes

to

asked.

when you make money

I'm talking about are called investors.

they're called angels." said. "I

I

I will.

have your card, can

If you're serious

and you're willing

to

work

hard,

I call

you? Will you help us?"

about starting your I'll

own

be your mentor," he

business,

said.

"You

think you can get your friends together to discuss their business ideas?"

I

quickly

nodded yes.

be able to help

my

maybe even buy

a real suit.

Before Roi and the meeting to "Really?

I

mother with the

call

call

bills

I

thought,

I

would

around the house and

my

mother signaled

for

Roi leaned over and whispered, "Call me." you?"

He shook my hand. course you can

went well,

could talk any longer,

I

start.

can

If things

I

asked.

"Farrah, we're

me."

gonna be business

partners; of

Reallionaire

36

My charge was their

own

who had dreams

to recruit other kids

My years

businesses.

as a professional

of starting

me One

kid had taught

there are a few things that are guaranteed to get kids excited.

of those

is

free food. So, a

about nine boys and

few days

make

girls to

something that youre going

after talking to Roi,

I

gathered

the announcement. "I've got

to love,"

I

said.

"What? What? Candy?" one boy asked. "Video games?" another shouted. "Better than candy,"

said. "Better

I

Well, their eyes widened. you're eight years old?

my audience. "Pizza. How

What could be better than candy when

knew I'd

I

would you

than video games."

better get to the point before

have

like to

all

I

lost

the pizza and soda

you

want?

They erupted with had questions It

was

them

meet every Saturday, we can

is

could

feel

it?

Where?" They

quiet again. "If

get

all

we form

the pizza and sodas

a club

and

we want."

in.

When he picked up the phone, the butterflies going crazy in my stomach. "Hi Roi, this

Later that evening, I

get

galore.

a chore to get

They were

"When do we

screams.

Far rah Gray.

"Thank me

I

just

for

I

phoned

wanted

to

Roi.

thank you."

what?" he asked.

"Are you really going to be

my mentor?"

Roi answered quickly. "Farrah,

I

didn't have to offer to be

your

mentor. I'm serious about that, but be prepared to meet people that will smile in

your

face,

shake your hand and

don't intend to keep," he said. This for

an eight-year-old, but

I

sounded

listened because

serious. "Farrah, the benefit

I

make promises they

like

very heavy advice

could

tell

he was quite

of having an experienced mentor

is

that

Step

Never Fear Rejection

2:

I've

37

been there and done

Speaking of promises,

made

my

to

did you I

tell

I've started lots

it.

told Roi about the indirect promise

I

friends to get

them

friends about

me

Roi had told

why

told

to be direct

one of Farrah.

went

you

me

and honest with

they would be meeting on Saturdays.

my new

know,"

it

with Roi.

his favorite phrases.

An

didn't

"You have

me

answer that will help

do what

I

know"

didn't appear to be

to give

me

"I don't

understand

to see if

display." it!

This

And

we remembered. She exactly

you

me

didn't exactly

called

off the

a leader or follower?"

to answer. "If you are a follower, I

why your Tell

my grandmother

you

know what he was

than to interrupt him.

He

it

it

plan

me why

used to do.

up again

until she

"putting your brain

what Roi was doing.

he wasn't letting

"Farrah, are

good answer,

suggested you do."

back to something

is

a

of what we discussed.

She would give us information and never bring

blew

mentor. "Well, not

said quietly.

I

didn't cut

My mind went

on

finally

to."

in the opposite direction

wanted

I

my

not?"

"I don't

That

me. "What

to start the club with

mustered up the courage to answer

"Why

I

them?" he asked.

hesitated.

what you

of businesses."

My first test,

hook very

and

I

easily.

He didn't give me a chance

will travel the

path of others."

talking about, but

continued. "Now,

tell

I

knew

better

me what you

told

eat free pizza

and

your friends again?" I

hated to repeat

drink

lots

of soda on Saturdays

Roi's voice elevated.

about starting their

"No."

"I told

it.

"The

own

them we could if

they joined the club."

club'^.

Did you mention

businesses?"

that this

was

38

Reallionaire

"What

is

name of the club supposed

the

any thought to our meeting and anything

we

I

Click.

my new

He hung

up!

mentor, but

couldn't keep.

asking

can

I

relate to,

I'd also

me

said, "Call

young man

horrible.

I felt

No more

Did you do

made

Not only had

a promise to

than ten minutes

Take ten more minutes to think about

later, I

it

disappointed

I

my

friends that

phoned Roi back

He

and then

chuckled, "No. call

me

back."

A wounded deer leaps

everything that had just happened-

the highest.

was ready to

talk to

—Emily

good time?"

I

Dickinson

I

near the phone thinking about

sat

I

back when you

—okay?"

was a good time to speak with him.

if it

give

\

could answer, Roi

have answers that

Did you even

talk the other night?

talked about?"

But before

to be?

"I don't

Roi again.

I

"Is this a

asked again.

Do you

know.

have better

answers than you did earlier?" Roi asked. "Yes, sir,"

I

"Okay, so

said.

let's start

you were coming I

to

"Do you "I don't

have any

don't?"

"No,

sir!

I'd

do

Maybe

to what?

I

know" but

fear,

just didn't

they have dreams or not?

them

I

caught myself

"I

was

afraid

he asked.

Roi!"

want them

You never gave them

as

your friends that

it," I said.

never thought about that.

about the club

tell

idea that involved business?"

fear rejection, Farrah?"

"You

"No

Why didn't you

them with an

started to say "I don't

that they wouldn't

if

again.

He

to say no."

a chance to say no, son," he said.

continued,

"How do you know

They could have been

just as excited

they were about the free pizza, but you didn't give

a chance, did you?"

Step

2:

Never Fear Rejection

"No,

sir."

"No, you

how

39

Now, go back

didn't.

you

excited

your friends and

to

about the business

are

idea.

Roi

said. "Are

know you

you wilHng

you do" anything. For him

rarely asked "can

them

it

to

are the

do

that?"

was a matter

of what someone was willing to do, not whether they had the to carry out a task. "Farrah, I'm very

Go

be proud of yourself

out there and prove to your friends that

believe in yourself and that you're willing to follow

You

just

"Yes, sir,"

I

them with your enthusiasm," he

infect

speak,

I'll

share

some of my

Prepare yourself to failed?"

"Of course,

I

fail; if

you

don't

fail,

Farrah.

You

don't hit a

"Now,

he

go out

there, get in the ring

you stop

said, laughing.

you want

if

and

home run

sir,

I'm ready to get

to speak with the

know they've

life.

every time you're

to be taken seriously,

still

Are you

He

always

laughing

as well.

laughing.

calling restaurants out

—not

owner

talked about

Why couldn't he

And

as if

call for

you. all

my nose bloody," I said,

call

he could read .

.

.

It's

them

on the other end of the phone."

my action plan,

the owners for

my mind,

he

the

more

my nerves

me?

said,

your club members

they can drink."

of the Yellow Pages. Ask

the managers, the owners. Let

got a serious youngster

The more Roi

and

in

laugh.

"Good. Begin by

pizza

with you

learning."

get your nose bloody.

ready to have a bloody nose?" he said,

built.

failures

asked, surprised.

at bat,"

"Yes,

said.

my successes

because they have been the key ingredients to

made me

your dream.

said.

"The next time we

"You

ability

proud of you, and you should

you

might

see

They may become

motivated to Hsten and ask questions. Let them

cofounder with your mentor," he

let

"And

don't ask

who you promised

me

to

a free

40

Reallionaire

"Okay,"

said.

I

me

For the next fifteen minutes Roi gave

with the restaurant owners. The vince these adults that

phone.

I

was

"Do you I

I

thing

first

have to do was con-

I'd

some kid playing

wasn't just

jokes

on the

a serious businessman.

name UNEEC?" he

like the

asked.

firowned into the phone. "I sorta like

Roi laughed. "Is that

bullet points to discuss

an acronym. You

"It's

when

word sounds

a

it.

What

does

it

mean?"

know what an acronym

like

another word but

is?"

really

it's

another word?"

homonym. An acronym

"That's a

something I

else.

Write

my

grabbed

this

pencil

is

a set of letters that stand for

down, U-N-E-E-C."

and wrote the

down. "UNEEC?"

letters

I

repeated.

"U-N-E-E-C

"Right," he said.

Economic

You and your

Enterprise Club," he said.

who

entrepreneurs

are starting

Urban Neighborhood

stands for

your businesses in your

friends are

own

neigh-

borhoods. Are you ready for what's ahead?" "Yes!"

Frank Leahy

is

tough, the tough get going. early.

I

The

next morning

called laughed.

I

They'd slam

down

up the phone

the phone.

in the

They thought It

middle of

my

back from a restaurant owner

"Is I

got up bright and

it

was

pitch.

who

I

folks

hung

kept calling.

I left

finally, I

also

Chicago South Lake Shore Drive

But

first

a prank. Click.

was tough. Some of the

messages for more than ten owners, and

in the

I

the going gets

grabbed the Yellow Pages and took a deep breath. The

few people

call

when

credited with saying that

owned

received a

phone

a hotel franchise

area.

Farrah Gray in?" he asked.

thought

it

was a

joke. Instead,

he introduced himself

"I

have a

Step

2:

Never Fear Rejection

41

message here that you're looking for meeting space,

that

is

right, son?" "Yes,

sir,

we have

UNEEC, Urban Neighbor-

a business club called

hood Economic Enterprise Club." "Well,

I

give entrepreneurs respect even if

they are doing or going to achieve. I

told

him

I

"On

are

first

to be twelve years old.

can t figure out what

your ages?" he asked.

was seven years old going on

member was going to have your

What

I

but the oldest

eight,

"When do you

plan

all

meeting?" he asked.

a Saturday.

As soon

as

we can

someone

get

to say yes!"

I

replied.

row

at the hotel

Take down

and

me

I'm that someone. Call

"I see. Well, looks like

back tomor-

during business hours. You got a paper and pencil?

my direct line,"

he

said.

He

gave

me his phone

number,

wrote a big question mark on a piece of paper to remind

I

myself to ask the gentlemen what was he expecting out of the deal.

"Thank you,

I'll

tomorrow,

call

I

promise." There

I

was,

making

promises again. I

couldn't sleep at

about the phone next day

I

On

"It's

"You

that night.

call until I

knew

called three times.

mean

because that would back.

all

the fourth

try,

I'd

you

didn't

for certain that

didn't

want

Now,

I

I

to

tell

had

man you

anyone

The

a deal.

to leave a message

go crazy waiting for him to

me

call

me

through.

spoke to yesterday,"

said.

I

today."

"Young man," he chuckled. "You did impressed!

want

the hotel receptionist put

me, Farrah, the young

said to call

I

I

as

I

asked you

to.

I'm

have arranged for you and your club to have

meeting space every Saturday from

1 1

A.M. to 2 P.M. inside the

main

dining room." I

was momentarily speechless. Roi had told

me

that

when you

42

Reallionaire

cut a good business deal there has to be something in parties.

"Yes,

deal?"

I

sir.

May I

ask you a question?

What do you want out of the

asked.

the going gets

space,

going

right?"

—Frank Leahy

there.

hoping he would

tell

I

relieved.

your club once

didn't

get

looking for meeting

and some sodas,

pizza

replied.

I

"Then what could be

in

know what was

for

is

in

it

it

for

me?"

him.

was

I

something you can do for me," he

"You can conduct it is

I

me!

"Well, actually, there

was

free

"Yes, sir,"

He had me

confused. "Didn't

this right? You're

tough, the tough get

I

all

"Will that work for you, son?"

He seemed When

for

it

a press interview to talk

up and running.

That'll give

me some

said.

about

public-

ity for the hotel." I I

didn't

know what

can do that,"

I

sir,

but

I

I

agreed anyway. "Yes,

sir,

said.

"You ever talked "No,

publicity was, but

to the newspapers or

can.

I

know

I

TV stations?"

could do

He chuckled a little. "I'm sure you can One challenge down, another to go.

it," I said.

too."

The Importance of a Good Ride The

next thing

I'd

have to do

is

take care of transportation from

our housing project to the meeting, which was approximately two

made

cab companies, but this got

miles away.

I

Those

went something

calls

calls to

me nowhere.

like this:

"Yes, I'd like to get transportation for

me and my business club

"

Step

Never Fear Rejection

2:

"You

last

where?"

live

Click

I

43

must have

me

taxicab dispatcher told

being an experienced

By

the time

portation,

laughed

at.

I

traveler,

I

Not

to try the airport shuttle vans.

knew nothing about

stumbled upon

company

a

airport shuttles.

called Airport Trans-

was already accustomed to the word "no" and being

I

Many

of the airport shuttle companies were owned by

Some of them were family-owned

small business owner-drivers. businesses.

companies before the

called ten or fifteen cab

Such was the case with

this

company. The

He

answered the phone was the nephew of the owner. to the owner's son.

The son then

and the older brother patched

me

me

referred

man who

me

referred

to his older brother,

into his father,

who was

driving

a vehicle.

The owner

He sounded

and asked

listened very attentively

like

he was in

I

hearing

can do. I

my

request

Where do you

started to give

"Let I

me told

him

few questions.

his early fifties; I'd listened to

He

"old schoolers" to recognize his age range. afi:er

a

and

enough

grunted a few times see

what

meet you," he

said.

finally said, "Little fella,

I'll

live?"

my address.

"I

want

to

speak to a parent."

him my mother was

secret assignment.

"It's

not a

hopes up too high." Then

I

at

home, but

I

hadn't told her of

but

I

don't

real secret

reminded him

club of young people, not old people.

"Old people can teach you

He

that

want

my

to get her

we were going

to a

laughed loudly.

a thing or two.

You know

that, don't

your "Yes,

sir, I

do. I'm sorry if

"No, son, you were mind. You don't waste

member

that!"

I

offended you."

just speaking folks'

your mind. Always speak your

time and they don't waste yours. Re-

44

Reallionaire

I

or

called

my mom to the phone.

who was on

"Hello,

may

the other end, but she took the

help you?"

I

ma'am,

"Yes,

She had no idea what

I

want

I

was doing

phone just the same.

v

by your place

to stop

to

meet your son with

your permission."

Mom "I

frowned. "Why?"

think I'm going to

this club I

block

I

feel

venture of his.

my vehicle

good about

make an investment of my time and

Time

money

is

Mom

gave

tell

put on

me

my

to be sure that if

all

She nodded.

"I see."

me make up my

will help

mind.

right?"

him

the address,

hung up

me. "Just so you know, you're on your can

want

it."

"Meeting that boy of yours that be

I

out of the service for nonpaying passengers that

Mom turned to me with The Look. Would

so

gas in

about

when

it

"meeting

Within an hour

it's all

phone and looked

own with Then

over."

this

meeting.

she instructed

at

You

me

to

shirt."

I'd

bathed, brushed

shoeshine rag and cleaned

my

rarely called airport shuttles.

my teeth,

fingernails.

show

wait for the airport shuttle to

Then

up. People in

The only

were flying out for a family funeral. So hard time spotting

the

used I

my brother's

went outside

my neighborhood

exception was I

knew

I

to

when

they

would not have

a

my visitor.

Soon, a light yellow and brown ten-passenger bus pulled onto the street slowly, as

if it

were driving in a school zone. The van

pulled to a stop in front of built like a linebacker.

whatever he looked I

Farrah Gray."

out stepped a

tall

black

man

His dark piercing eyes seemed to penetrate

at. I

handed him one of

me and

extended

my hand for

my homemade

a handshake.

Then

business cards. "Hello, I'm

Step

2:

He that

I

Never Fear Rejection

45

Then he shook my hand

took the card with a smile. thought

my eyes

would pop out of my head. "There

types of firm handshakes,

young

fella,"

he

"The

said.

is

out there now.

None

it

in this

are

two

white-collar

handshake and a hard-working man's handshake. You have to use both to make

so hard

are

gonna

world with the competition that

of the big boys are going to give you shelf

space."

Instead of parking,

we drove around

the neighborhood. As he

my

drove, he talked nonstop about his business. "I wish listened to

me when

We

they were younger.

vans by now," he said a

little sadly.

"Where

boys had

could have a is

fleet

of

your club going to

meet?

"The Ramada South Lakeshore." "The Ramada? Boy, how did you "WTiat do you mean, "I service that hotel

pull that

one

off?"

sir?"

because black folks stay there.

for three nights there for the price

of one night

They can pay

at those big, pricey

hotels." I

kept looking out of the window.

shuttle before.

know

He

the owner?"

"I've

I'd

never been in an airport

looked in the rearview mirror I

at

me. "Do you

asked.

been doing business with them for

ning back and forth daily so

I

years.

Two

shuttles run-

shouldn't lose any

money on

Saturdays while I'm helping you out." Just as

radio

we were

went

"I gotta go. I

off.

pulling back up to

He opened

my

apartment, his two-way

the door and helped

me

out of the van.

Pick you here, right?"

straightened

my clothes a little.

"Yes,

sir,

everyone will be stand-

ing right outside in the same place next week.

"My pleasure. How many you

Thank

you."

think will be going?"

46

Reallionaire

know

"I don't

"Can know,

I

join your club?" Before

I

know

them what

yet. I haven't told

...

no old

have planned."

I

could answer he chimed

I

folks!"

in, "I

v

Mom and Kiki had been watching from the living room window, me to return. As soon as I walked through the door they bombarded me with questions. "What was that all about?" "Farrah,

waiting for

what I

are

you up

now?"

to

My mother smiled broadly.

enough

didn't stay long

back outside and round up club. I'd just I

to chat.

my

made my second

I

had

a job to do;

friends to invite

business deal in

was feeling pretty good about myself

It

them

I

had

to

to our

go

new

than a week, and

less

was time

to

add the

final

piece to the puzzle.

When same way had

They

kept going,

much

as

of the kids circled

me much

quarterback.

its

"Who

asked a simple question,

I

in the

When

I

wants to get

"Me! Meeeeee!"

yelled,

all

all

team gathers around

a football

their attention

rich?" I

returned outside,

I

"Who

wants to buy

all

of the candy they want,

as

they want, at any time?"

"Meeeeeeeee!!!" I

had

warmed up my

sufficiently

audience.

Now

was convince them we could get rich together. cards from

my

my

tasks. First, I'd

transportation.

my friends

and

create together

took

had

my

And tell

—

friends

my

card.

finally, I'd

do

young

had accomplished three

secured meeting space. Second,

had the confidence

the truth about

this

I

to

business

pocket, ready to take a very big step for a

businessman: give

huge

I

all I

my dreams

I'd

gotten us

to stand before

and what we could

time without fear of rejection.

By dinnertime, when we

all

had

bership totaled four of my friends.

to be in the house, club

The

next day

all

mem-

four of us spoke

Step

Never Fear Rejection

2:

47

to everyone else's parents about the club.

was designed to help

their kids

become

explained that the club

I

maybe even

entrepreneurs,

millionaires.

Within an hour of my

arriving

home from

the

borhood, our phone started to ring off the hook with

child?" or nesses?"

about

my mom, "What

parents asking

friends

"What

My

big idea

mother

let

is

he

selling

those parents

is

That

old

.

.

know

will yours?" she asked.

.

my call

night,

to

calls

from

your son feeding

own

about starting their

my business endeavors. "My son will

fifty years

the neigh-

visits in

that

I

was very

serious

What could they say to

Roi was brief "You did

busi-

me before

be retiring

he

it,"

my my

said.

I'm

that?

"You

infected them." "Yes,

I

did." said. "Call

me

of conversation, but that night

my

of my plans with them. They showered

me

"You should be very proud of yourself, Farrah," he tomorrow." I

was never

brothers

let

in short supply

me

share

all

with encouragement: "Farrah, you can do

soon

they'll

to sleep,

little

brother. Otherwise

awake. She liked to wind

light

bedroom

was

man! Pretty

You're the

be calling you Mr. Farrah Gray." Finally they

you

But there was no chance of that, so

to her

it!

still

door.

I

down by

will I

"Go

be talking to yourself"

went

to see if

Mom was

listening to music.

could hear the

said,

soft

I

put

still

my ear

music playing, and her

on.

"Mom?" •

"They

fell

"Yeah. I'm

asleep still

"You can come before I

I

on you, huh?" she

said, laughing.

excited." in for a

few minutes, but

have to get up to go to work," she

remember

my

I

need to get some sleep

said.

mother looking extremely

tired.

I

didn't like

48

that.

Reallionaire

But that night when

sense of hope.

I

knew

that

I

hugged her good night

what

my friends

would help me show my mother how mu^h her.

She wouldn't have to be

was about

to

pop

off,

tired for

and I

much

and more importantly,

I

I

had

a

new

were about to do

loved and appreciated longer. I

My

new

club

was about to launch

my empire and a relationship with a mentor who would change my life.

Step

2:

49

Never Fear Rejection

REAL POINTS: The

first

step

is

Getting Started

the hardest, because

accompanied by

it's

doubt and inexperience. But you've got to take

fear,

before you can take

it

any more steps on the path to your dream.

1

.

Opportunities are that being

ways

it

around you. Some people might think

all

young and black was a disadvantage, and

was. But

it

was

also an opportunity.

stand your inherent advantages and then

You have

sell

in

some

to under-

them. Remember,

people want to help. Give them a reason. 2.

Fear

is

False Expectations Appearing Real

created entirely

brace

it

in

and walk through your doubts, knowing you have the

capacity to achieve your dreams

what you

DO

further than

be—and

your fears. Fear

aim high.

you can dream, so dream

be a schoolteacher

Have the

in spite of

in

right look.

big.

You'll never get

Even

if

you

just

Presentation

is

important, but

What do you have

Your appearance

is

your

first

to lose?

impression.

6.

got to be

it

right.

important. Yes, your personal appearance

all

of your

first

class

is

materials— from your posters to your

handouts to the bag you carry them in— are It's

want

very noble dream!), then try to be the

(a

the world.

Think about your style carefully, then take the time to do 5.

is

be afraid— it's

perfectly normal to

with that fear that defines you.

best schoolteacher 4.

It's

Decide what you want to

to

illusion

our heads! You don't overcome fear, you em-

the fuel of reallionaires.

3.

an

is

It

all

just

as important.

the way.

Watch everyone around you. Some people obviously have more going They

will

for

them than

others.

lead you by example,

Get to know those people.

and soon you

will

be one

of

them. 7.

Never be afraid of your

idea.

I

was so worried about what my

Reallionaire

50

would think of

friends

UNEEC

that

couldn't even mention

I

them. That's a loser's mentality, wBich you're

ashamed

of your

dream

I

to

it

quickly corrected.

or your idea, then

it's

If

not worth

having. Talk about your ideas. Get feedback. Find supportive

people. That doesn't

mean you have to be a blabbermouth,

but

you have to be out there to get anywhere. 8.

Never say reason. ally

"I

don't know." Right or wrong, you always need a

you

have one when the event or decision actu-

didn't

happened, then think about

it

afterward and determine

why you

did

what you

Never take "no"

for

an answer. Persistence

the only thing.

you're going to be a success

exactly 9.

If

If

did. isn't

everything;

in life, you'll

it's

hear

"no" thousands of times. Look at every "no" as an opportunity. 10.

Success creates confidence, which creates more success.

Remember

that the

you've taken is

it,

first

don't start

a valuable asset

step

is

always the hardest. Once

walking—start running. Momentum

in life.

REALLIONAIRE AFFIRMATION

Opportunities are everywhere. I can rise above

circumstance with hard work,

any

integrity, faith

and especially persistence.

Step

Never Fear Rejection

2:

51

Reallionaire Exercise:

What Can You Learn from Your Environment?

Where

you

are

now? Look

right

at

your current surroundings.

What

can you learn from your present situation or environment?

There

are lessons

appreciate them.

all I

around us

if

we

just take the

time to notice and

met my mentor Roi Tauer because I was

place at the right time. There are people like Roi in your just clear

There

some of the are six

be positive,

components

If your life feels like all

the things

you have

to

work

exercise.

and

create.

These

six steps

should be

thirty days.

Step

with

you can

to this exercise: clear the area, focus,

visualize, celebrate

done over the next

life if

them. Here's a quick

clutter to see

in the right

:

Clear the Area

with too

filled

it's

you can

clear

is

much

touch

stuff, get in

out so you can better

Maybe you

with.

cause your work-space

1

assess

what

anything done be-

can't get

congested and messy. Take the time to

organize yourself and get your lab in order; you'll find that your efficiency will

improve

with emotional

significantly.

clutter.

Uh

oh.

cleaning? If the people in your

Maybe your situation

Time

for

life aren't

some

has to do

relationship spring

contributing in a positive

way, there's a good chance they're bringing you down. Get rid of

them! Emotional clutter

is

your desk. Negative people leave

you

lifeless.

much

are like ticks.

Aren't your dreams

Step

Decide what

heavier than

it

is

2:

mounds of paper on

They

drain the blood and

worth more

Focus

you want and then focus

Keep your eye on the

prize.

to you?

Write

down your

like a laser

desires

beam.

and look

at

52

Reallionaire

them every day over

the next

Now that's

thoughts.

month

until they are

3:

overnight, but

it

continue to be and act positively. In other words,

do the things

believe

it,

desire. If

want

you want

you do, the

closer

you must

You

are

you

closer to It

5:

health. Save or invest

eyes

Belief begins with a picture of

it.

and

get an

image of your goal or

your perfect body.

in Los Angeles.

If

you

cross the

visualization

what you want.

Celebrate Every Day else to

Know that you are moving Im doing good, or Fm proud of

that you're doing a great job.

your dreams.

people

Tell yourself,

crazy but

stare, just

Step

Write

you

your biggest supporter. Don't look for someone

may sound

if

The more

actually having

it

works. Pretty soon you'll find that

these internal conversations are propelling

worry

also

4: Visualize

you move toward

Step

if you

not enough to

to be famous, see millions of people applauding as

Kodak Theater

you.

and

to be healthy, picture

stage at the

tell

it's

come

fitness plans.

you'll see

what you want. Close your

will

to be healthy";

that will result in riches

Step

you

want

to be rich" or "I

your money. Reevaluate your

When

your

Be Positive

What you want may not come want

in

focus!

Step

just say "I

branded

down

6:

to greatness. Don't

keep talking!

Create Your "Grow

daiiy successes

before starting the day.

you

My Success"

and review the

File

list

each morning

STEP

Build an All-Star

Mentoring Team how

me

the experience and knowledge of others helped

craft a business club uniquely

UNEEC

Roi s enthusiasm for

my own

had infected me.

I

ing visions of moving out of the projects and taking

Chinese buffet every week.

I

that since this to say

was

I've

my

my

idea,

First

club. President

never forgotten.

and famous

had done

He

friends

business

I

would be counting on me

decided that the thrust of

to get

Harry

my

kids can relate to

psyched about the challenge

S.

Truman

said

at the

at

something that

said that he studied the lives of great

women and found that those

their jobs

to a

my speech for the meeting. I knew

sense.

we had

Mom

my own

would be about making money. Poor

making money.

—our

could focus on

I

worked on

something that made

presentation

hand

I

hav-

wouldn't have to think of food stamps

and welfare checks anymore. dreams. For a week,

now

was

top were those

men who

with everything they had in the way of energy,

enthusiasm and hard work.

And

I

thought about the

last

few questions Roi had asked before

53

54

Reallionaire

we ended our most

"What

recent conversation:

will

you

tell

them

UNEEC is? How will you explain the plan?" "The what?" "The

plan.

You need

a plan.

to a martial arts class a

sure

I

understood that

it

few weeks

earlier.

do those

Roi had invited

He wanted

was more than kids kicking each

to

make

other,

but

achieve.

said.

I

Where they

"They're learning from a master teacher.

They work

dents has nothing to do with luck. that.

kids could

lucky, Farrah?"

what hard work and focus could

a lesson in

"No,"

You think those

moves because theyre

martial arts

me

v

Good work,

not good luck. Say

"Good work, not good

luck,"

I

hard.

are as stu-

Remember

it."

said with Roi three times in a

row.

"Now, before you can work on these questions: nesses?

UNEEC you first have to answer

Who's Farrah? What

How strong are his mind,

are his strengths

body and

and weak-

How well do you

spirit?

fight?"

"Fight?

I

don't fight

my brothers

know how well

fight. I don't

I

or

sister.

fight because fight,"

^, *r * ^ *i Those at* the top are those ,

^,

.

^-

,

the jobs they ^,

^,

.

thing they ^,

1

,

,

^

jr

had with J

,

every-

J

is

,

enthusiasm and hard work. —Harry

S.

told him.

^

inside of

you

that could stop

\

you from achieving your dreams." ^ ^^

Truman

I

again in

have never been in a

^

had of energy,

.

don't

time for you to get ready ^ ^ to fiffht to win. I'm not talkine; ^ ^ about fighting someone with your / & & fists but rather defeating whatever ^

J

/

I

I

"It's

men

and women who have done »

I

My friends and

my

stomach.

I

phors, but he spoke in a

didn't fully

way

that

was feeling the understand

all

butterflies

of Roi's meta-

awakened me. At seven and

a half

Step

I

Build an All-Star Mentoring

3:

Team

55

couldn't think about taking control of

my mind

about taking control of best.

my life,

because

but

I

could think

was learning from the

I

Roi had created a spark, a burning desire and a

fire

that wasn't

going to be put out any time soon.

Up

until then, I'd

that the only thing

been surrounded by so

my

much

poverty and lack

brain could think about was money,

little

money and money. But after that last conversation with Roi, I stopped thinking about having

of money. Instead,

lots

understand what made a person puzzle. I

There was something

knew it was something

good luck.

On

Roi's

the

treatment.

words rang in

to

Money was only one piece of the

else. I didn't

that

morning of our

rich.

was beginning

I

have

happened on the

the answers yet, but

all

inside.

Good work, not

my ears for the next few hours.

first

club meeting,

I

was given the royal

Mom prepared my favorite breakfast of eggs with cheese

melted on top, turkey bacon and an English muffin. bing our pennies together so there was no

Andre pressed

my clothes

rub-

jelly.

my shoes.

and shined

We were

Kiki rewrote our

meeting agenda. She created a few sample logo designs of UNEEC for us to choose from.

She and Roi suggested that we get T-shirts

produced. Not only could also I

we

sell

them

promote our club by wearing them was almost

ready.

The only

thing

to

ourselves.

I

transportation. I'd been so excited the day

gotten to get the owner's

name

make money, we could

had I

to

in a

to call for

secured the ride,

or business card.

guy who answered the phone was

do was

When

mood. "May

I

I

I'd for-

called, the

speak to the

owner, please?"

"You want

my dad,

kid?"

"Yes, sir!"

"Hold on," he me,

sir, it's

said.

Farrah.

I

I left

recognized the next voice on the

line. "It's

two messages that we were going

to

need

56

Reallionaire

to be picked

up today

for

our

first

meeting." "Are you ready now?"

he asked rather impatiently.

"No, because we're not supposed to bevready

"Young man, you and your

should be waiting for

me

at

ya hear?"

ten,

was

It

a tone that carried special

heard that tone

I'd

firiends

until ten."

"Yes,

sir.

And

many

know,

didn't say

but

it,

times: don't be late.

sir?"

"Ten o'clock," he "I

He

meaning.

said.

wanted

just

sir, I

to

know your name."

"Mr. Perry."

hung up

I

him

call

Perry?

I

phone and thought

the

"Roi," not Mr. Tauer. didn't

know

encounter makes for

me

this

me

CEO"

trait I

was

now wanted

twenty-first-century

CEO,

name

liked the

first.

Farrah.

I

hadn't talked to

I

that

my

when I walked out

there. Thankfully,

call

to

him Mr.

look back now, that

They might

respect.

just as guilty.

I

was

before telling people

say

but

I

calling myself

my given name. was

still

the

was going to be known by

my

to toss into the trash.

I

sound of that.

friends since Friday night.

the door that

I

I

was praying

wouldn't be the only one out

by ten o'clock there were

fift:een

kids ready to roll

adventure.

And

an adventure

about to be exposed to a whole

new

world.

out of the projects to our

We were

I

have to

me

Mr.," or "I'm this or that," before they even state their

a "twenty-first-century

was a

I

told

on how black people sometimes look

reflect

half, I

set

did

then, but as

names. At seven and a

It

Why

ways to make sure people give them

"Call

moment. Roi

for a

new

it

was.

A whole

new

of people. Living in the ghetto makes you think that nothing

exists outside

of what you see on a daily

This was, and

still

is,

basis.

partially the fault

of the media. There

Step

Build an All-Star Mentoring

3:

many

weren't that

even in the

and we

Cosby. Even though,

much

needed

57

positive depictions of black folks

late '80s,

ambition so

Team

knew we

all

as Baltasar

as the

television,

weren't going to be Bill said,

"Nothing arouses

trumpet clang of another's fame," we

to see successful people

what were we expected

Gracian

on

to be

who

looked

when we grew

like us

up?

—

still

otherwise

Where were we

to

look for role models? We'd heard about the Boy Scouts, the Girl Scouts and Junior Achievement. But those were organizations for

them, not

us.

"Them" was anybody who

UNEEC was could

call

not just a business club,

it

was

also a place that

we

our own. Something

created for us, by us.

down

didn't live in the ghetto.

the highway

gural Saturday

As we drove

on

n takes time to succeed

that inau-

you could

because success

is

merely the

just see

natural reward of taking

the pride swelling out our chests.

time to do anything well

Here we were,

fifteen little black

children, stepping out

explore the

unknown.

on

Ramada Let's

faith to

I still

Mr. Perry talked the

—Joseph Ross

get chills thinking about

it.

from our neighborhood to the

entire drive

Inn. "We're here," he said. "Farrah, you're the ringleader.

move 'em

out!"

That was

my

cue to get up and lead us into

the hotel lobby.

But

first, I

wanted

for his support.

about to get

to give

Mr. Perry a handshake

to

thank him

Mom raised us to say thank you, and Mr. Perry was

my

sincerest gratitude.

"Thank you,

sir," I said.

"We

really appreciate it."

"You're welcome,

background

"May The

I

as

we

little fella,"

he

said,

beaming.

He

stood in the

filed orderly into the hotel registration area.

see the owner, please?"

I

asked the registration attendant.

bifocaled desk clerk barely looked

up from

his

paperwork.

Reallionaire

58

"You want who,

"The owner,

little

sir," I

boy?" he asked.

repeated.

"What do you want? Are you

selling

candy

for

your church

fundraiser?"

"No,

the

sir,

owner

is

waiting for us,"

I

insisted.

Mr. Perry knew something was up, so he walked up to the front desk

as if

he were the owner. "Hey

you

haven't seen

fella,

you must be new

here?

I

before."

I'm in training," the clerk replied.

"I just started.

"In training, you say? Well then, you shouldn't take liberties with

your

boss' guests."

Who

"Guests?

are these kids?"

"Kids? These are

young businesspeople.

and ask

this desk-clerk-in-training his

his boss

how

The desk

name

he treated you," Mr. Perry

clerk looked

group of people for a

down

special

enough in

treatment.

"He

so you'll be able to

at his clipboard.

is

tell

"We're expecting a

the group. Where's the room?"

doesn't think

to warrant his attention."

my mom's last

here

said.

Mr. Perry led us to our meeting space. clerk's

come up

meeting but ..."

Mr. Perry interrupted. "This

desk

Farrah,

meeting. This

is

I

He

told

young

me

to ignore the

kids are important

thought about what happened

what she must have meant about

having thick skin.

We saw.

arrived at our meeting

A big room

set

up with plenty of soda, water,

mint candy, paper and I

was carrying

room and were amazed by what we

pencils.

And

it

was

a big envelope with paper

all

ice,

paper cups,

for us.

and a bunch of BIG ink

pens wrapped in a rubber band. Kids wrote with pencils, but businesspeople signed checks with pen. So to

conduct ourselves

as

it

was important

businesspeople long before

for us

we launched our

Step

3:

first

Build an All-Star Mentoring

enterprise. After we'd

we were ready

course)

What

we

could

to speak

to start the meeting. That's

about

talk

59

taken our seats and gotten sodas (of

all

at the hotel that

And who was

in the 'hood?

being polite

we

and

to sharing

home

that

think to kick things

I

off.

club to teach

neighborhood children how

turn their ideas into business

That's

enterprises.

UNEEC club

members are

told me.

small packages.

Leaders lead. the I

I

room and

went

to the front

are.

right? That's

rich

.

that

UNEEC was

.

Farrah.

a

We

are a

extra I

you

o and

You

all

know who I am, and

bunch of poor kids who want

why we're

here."

It

group of "po" kids

rich kids. In the 'hood, "po"

big ideas in

of

stood. "Hello everybody.

know who you .

leader,

means

had become an

who were

that

you

to get

inside joke

about to become

can't

even afford the

r.

asked Twjuanna, a twelve-year-old, "Since you're the oldest, will

on the paper?" Twjuanna began

please read what's

"UNEEC

is

a club to teach

neighborhood children

their ideas into business enterprises.

to read:

how

to turn

UNEEC club members are big

ideas in small packages."

She took her

seat. I

know what you want

stepped

to be

in. "First, raise

when you grow

your hand

if

you

up."

A few people raised their hands and said things like "policeman," "football player," "engineer"

words

again: "Infect them."

"What kind of Everyone haven't

business

just stared at

you

to

didn't

when I remembered what Roi had You re a

hit us.

it

couldn't talk about

UNEEC is a

at

when

going

first?

was so used

I

Team

I

and

"teacher."

looked

down

do you want

I

kept hearing Roi's

at the talking

to start?"

me like I was E.T

I

own

list.

asked. Nothing.

or something.

ever thought about starting your

points

"Come

business?"

on,

60

Reallionaire

The pizza

waiter walked

now?" The waiter took

toppings

we wanted on

"Do you

interrupting me,

in,

a seat as

the pizza.

the group about the night

want your

him what kinds of

told

Whert he

had made

I

we

all

finished telling

left, I

and sold them. Some

lotions

of them already knew about that story because some of their par-

had been

ents

story.

my customers.

They were impressed

But most of them had not heard the

that

I

made almost

ten dollars in

less

than forty-five minutes.

Twjuanna

said, "You're the

youngest, but

on with

you're doing. What's going

this club?"

most of them were older than

all,

together,"

I

what

said. "That's

think you

I

was.

I

I

know what

was nervous. After

"We

have to learn

my mentor says."

"What's a mentor?" someone asked.

As soon

as that sentence flew

out of his mouth,

I

realized that I'd

forgotten one important ingredient: to invite a mentor to the meeting.

We

needed someone

who

and answer our questions. I'd

I'd

forgotten to dot that last

"A mentor trying to do,"

is

blown

I'd

it.

I

said.

They seemed

I'll

fine

crossed

all

of my

be sure someone

with

after the waiter

us

how

to

do what

to take care

and

it

of So,

we're

that, or It

here."

is

maybe

was hard

came and asked

the

aroma coming from

to keep our

minds on the

us about food.

Within the

next thirty minutes we'd gone through our entire agenda. arrived,

but

"They're like teachers or guardian angels. At

the pizzas distracted them.

had

t's

i.

somebody who can teach

our next meeting,

meeting

could give us guidance, information

was

clear that

after

we

we

didn't have

finished eating,

I

The

pizza

any more business

asked the group some-

thing Roi always asked me: "Are you proud of yourselves?" "I

know

this

is

our

first

meeting but can we do something in

here before Mr. Perry picks us up that

we can

tell

our parents

Step

3:

we can

about? Something

Some of them wanted that

I

Team

Build an All-Star Mentoring

would have

61

say we're proud of?"

to wait until the next meeting, but

to give a report to

Mom and Roi, so

ing without accomplishing something.

Someone

knew

I

wasn't leav-

I

blurted out,

"We

should be proud that we're here."

At

first

we

looked

all

him

at

like

he was

crazy,

but he was

right.

There were kids in our neighborhood who wouldn't have been

Ramada Inn on

caught dead in a

We

a Saturday morning.

were a

unique group of kids. "That's are

it," I said.

"Write

proud because we

down on your

are here."

we

sheet of paper that

We talked about all of the negative

things that were happening in our neighborhood, but

we had

still

knew

that

chosen to do something positive. I

as

immediately

soon

as I

me what pizza.

she'd

I

felt

good about going home because

walked through the door,

learned,

and

She wouldn't go

make me go

What kind

And what Just as

That was not going

of

we were

I

learned

came back with

how

I

said.

"We need to write down two more

money do we want

a quick run, so

are

you

all

to

make, and by when?

start?"

nienced him. That

trying to prove?"

want us

made two people

We didn't

Mr.

he had ordered another pizza for

answer him, mainly because he didn't sound us feel as if he didn't like or

I

we have

While he was placing the soda and napkins on the back

ing us seriously.

And

finishing this exercise, the waiter told us that

make

he asked, "What

to eat

that answer,

to happen. "Okay,

kind of businesses do we want to

Perry had to us.

I

her that

going to ask

laundromat with her on Saturdays.

about ten more minutes," things:

tell

for that. If

to the

couldn't have that!

couldn't

I

my mother was

I

like

No

one wanted

he cared.

there. Like

in the hotel

table,

to

He made

we had inconve-

who

weren't tak-

need to compare notes to know

this.

62

Reallionaire

Shortly after the waiter burst through the door.

manding but warm and

just like

I

working.

I've

Baltimore back in a while

Oh,

He

I

.

.

you

see in

my own .

was a rather

Since

all.

boss since

well, a

large

I

I

man

with a com-

yeah,

I

I

my life, been

I've

moved away from home

long time ago," he

got plenty of stories that

all

was your age

can share.

wanna

When

do

I

in

"For

said, laughing.

lived like a hobo. I've seen stuff y'all don't ever

I

he

Perry's voice as

been working hard

voice. "Kids, I've

what

been

we heard Mr.

left,

see.

get to

attend a meeting?"

"How

about next week?"

"Next week

it is,

and willingness him.

I

then," he said.

to support us.

couldn't wait to hear

more announcement

we

will talk

clerk

He

left

it.

we made

the hotel,

What we

stories,

we

leave.

how to

packing up

but

I

had one

Next week

reach them. So

my stuff

sure to walk past the rude desk

He had

not ruined our day.

were doing was bigger than him.

We

had

UNEEC was official.

got back into the van and headed home. Back to chores.

to reality.

Back

realities

to the

arrived at the

returning

ask too

we

felt

equipped to

UNEEC was already. We had

as fifteen little people, yet

all

we were

off at the exact location he'd picked us

walked into our apartment

mother greeted

But even though there

as fifteen little businesspeople.

Mr. Perry dropped us I

challenges.

how powerful

Ramada Inn

home

When

same

waiting for us in the 'hood,

deal with them. That's

to

said,

Meeting one was out of the way.

were harsh

up.

some of his war

I

his humility

There was almost a sadness about

and smile and say our good-byes.

We Back

was touched by

about our dreams and goals and

couldn't.

done

I

to make. "Okay, before

bring some goals with you,"

As we

said.

I

me with

many

the usual,

my

"How was

brothers, sister

it?"

They

didn't

and

want

questions just in case things hadn't gone as

Step

Build an All-Star Mentoring

3:

planned. But for the

nonstop

chatter.

Sunday

that It

Team

63

of the weekend,

rest

They were probably

was

I

ecstatic

motor-mouth,

a

when

hit the pillow

I

night.

was Monday morning

members saw one another

at

UNEEC

school before most of the

again.

One

of the boys

who had gone

with us on Saturday started ridiculing the club. "Man, you looked

on Saturday," he

like a fool

said to us.

laughed alone. "You're not gonna

start

We no

all

looked

at

him

as

he

Rich people

businesses.

start businesses."

On

we

cue,

left

him standing by himself So who was

the joke

made one

decision.

on? In just one weekend, our daring group had

We

people were going to say to or about thing

when

"If we can

I

was about

five years

work hard enough

new

here to a

to

Perry,

buy

who

at ten o'clock sharp.

we'd

left

standing right alongside

And

me someforgot. He said,

Andre had I

never

a car, then

told

we can

drive out of

life."

on time

Negative,

us.

old that

Saturday was there again before

we knew

We

was Mr.

so

there.

Even Mr.

earlier that

week, was

were

laughing by himself

And

it.

all

us.

there was something different about the van this week.

had two

extra passengers.

know why

greeted the

They were Mr.

he'd invited them, although

that he wished his boys

had

listened to

I

Perry's

two

sons.

did remember

him

I

him

him speaking

things about

him

to

you

that he never

when he was working

like a

Reminded me of my mother. she could share, given

all

I

all.

He

saying

years ago. All of the kids

said

had time

It

didn't

young men. One of them spoke up, "Our dad wants

here to hear

ago

and the negative things

weren't going to give in to the jokes

we would

to stop

and

us

learn a few

tell

us years

dog." His words sounded familiar.

often

wondered about

all

the stories

of the experiences she'd had. I'm sure there

64

Reallionaire

were

lots

of things that she'd endured she'd never share with her

children.

Something told for this

me we

meeting because Mr. Perry seemed

could easily have you in didn't care if pizza,

should have asked for a box of Kleenex

my

saw

me

Many men

"And

all

education

ain't

his speech.

was one day

I

we'd finished our

He had grown up

of his generation had quit school to

go to work to help support their said.

this

When

crying.

Mr. Perry stood and started

during segregation.

And

tears or stitches.

friends

kind of guy who

like the

"Get your education," he

families.

in books.

You can

learn a lot just

by

watching, talking to people."

Mr. Perry had been an excellent student in grade school. he loved learning.

"That's

you were

why

school to they

know

I

sell

didn't have the

Our books were

white children. feel like

"We

less

He

same opportunities

used, torn.

You had

said

as the

to fight not to

than them," he said with a tear in his eye.

get so upset

when

drugs or run the

I

dropping out of

see our people

streets.

I

think to myself,

Dont

that people died so they could have the right to a good

education?''

Mr. Perry went on models. is

He

yourself

said that

By now,

to talk

impossible to improve

it's

there

Perry's genuine, heartfelt

how

fortunate

know you

are too

you're doing like this

we were

is

when

was hardly

to be starting to

I

big

lives. I

was coming up," he

your only guide

core.

something

know how

gonna change your

if

a dry eye in the

words had cut to the

young

As we boarded the Perry's speech.

about the importance of strong role

room. Mr.

He'd shown us

like

UNEEC

UNEEC. is,

but what

wish we'd had something

said.

shuttle bus, our

minds were

still

on Mr.

He'd closed by asking us a question. "You kids

to play games?" Yes,

we

"I

said. "Well, life

is

no game. You

like

can't play

Step

3:

Build an All-Star Mentoring

games with your

You

life.

play games, ya hear?"

Hutton.

When

We

Team

take care of business,

nodded

all

he talked, you

Mr. Perry was a

65

let

other people

Mr. Perry was

like E.

although his formal keynote

to break us off with his

wisdom. "Hard

times and challenges never end. Your mothers and fathers struggling to keep roofs over your heads their challenge.

R

listened.

serial chatterer, so

had ended, he continued

yes.

and

and

may

to feed you.

be

That s

Youre about to be business owners and that means

other types of challenges, ya hear?"

Challenge was a big word, but

way of speaking

ing because Mr. Perry had a

He

through your heart.

smooth

his

tion.

"Just

continued

we

remember, don't get

started to clap.

"One more

he

first,"

He

thing

And

People seldom improve

be

but themselves

We

said.

I

.

.

.

now you

"Right

think you're

all

-Olivia Goldsmith

We

we

you home," he

said.

are just little people.

mamas and

But

let

figured

right.

gonna say

We

laughed. Yeah, right.

The

outside world doesn't

me

tell

you how important

important to your families,

daddies."

had no idea where

we

We were

the last thing this old man's

that important.

here in Chicago, little

is

are as a group. Individually, you're

to your

to copy.

stick together."

promise, this

before he drives

when

interrupted us,

started to clap again, but not too loudly because

"Okay,

by

^^^^^ ^^^^^

^^^^

Mr. Perry would have "one more thing."

you

that shot straight

sat motionless, riveted

do your homework and

put school

We

as

say-

and convic-

delivery

too big for your britches. sure to

we understood what he was

this story

call it a

was going.

"When

it

gets cold

'hawk,' right? Well, each one of those

snowflakes are not that important until they stick together

Reallionaire

66

with

all

the other

little

snowflakes." His voice

thunderous. "Boy! That's

"Now lets

go.

I

gotta get

when

that

you home."

hawk ^

became loud and

hits ya!!!"

He

laughed.

Step

3:

Build an All-Star Mentoring

Team

67

REAL POINTS: The Beginnings Success

Success

something that happens overnight;

isn't

You have to

nurture

do

have the

this is to

of

it's

a process.

along with continuous care, and the best

it

right

people working with you. Not

way

to

for you, with

you.

1

.

Have a plan and

stick to

just get yourself into

2.

your idea to

fruition.

A business

isn't just

ership. That

is

you

There are those

come from

and

to

in life:

self-limiting

who

will try like

your personal feelings are

member

is

Remember that

Keep looking

in

everything. Even

more important,

right people. criticism.

your area of

listen,

but

Three people

Two

there

is

so are negativity and

you

until

answers.

more important drag

someone you

find

then ask, ask, ask them

listen to their

tried to

to listen to the

me down;

lift

me

up;

nothing without the

will

to

people wanted to

laughed

own doubts

you catch?

will

interest,

it's

UNEEC who

of

inside your

infectious, but

respect and trust

important to

see

knock you down. They may

to

thought patterns. Which vital.

you'll

to

the employees at the hotel, or they

inside, like the

Enthusiasm

Mentors are

fly,

enough

about the pride of own-

it's

They may even come from deep

fears.

on the

measure everything.

the outside,

may come from at us.

5. It's

try to revise

about money;

true of everything

more than one way

4.

If

trouble. Trust yourself

as important as the material reward.

just

3.

it.

more

I

took

ignored their

I

their love

and

respect to heart. 6.

A good

idea

is

don't have to think up every

how 7.

good

idea.

make

it

happen. You

You simply need

to learn

to put those ideas into practice.

Never be afraid to take what others are offering you, but always give them proper

credit.

And

also pay

them back

68

Reallionaire

threefold

in

kindness and admiration. You are not

every helping hand 8.

If

is

a

else to

do your job

leader. Don't look for

or get you out of an

sion—including your mentor. The responsibility 9.

Keep your word. Success act can

knock down. This

starting out.

destroy

all

and there

The

your

is

loss of efforts.

no excuse

is

dream

strive alone,

yours.

especially true loyal friend or

There for not

is

when you

are just

one key contact can

no opportunity worth the

meeting your obligations.

alone, build alone

and

but true success always requires

the help

deci-

a house of cards, which one foolish

is

one

is

awkward

Reallionaire Affirmation:

/ can

anytliing;

gift.

you are the boss, you have to be the

someone

owed

^

and support of others.

risk,

Step

Build an All-Star Mentoring

3:

Team

69

Reallionaire Exercise: Build an All-Star Mentoring

Team

This week, you are charged with putting together a powerful,

dynamic group of people who reallionaire journey.

But to get to the with nine. large

group than

First, lets

youre going to brainstorm and come up

many? Because

it is

going to support you on your

suggest starting with a core group of three.

I

three,

Why so

are

to

it's

come up with

a lot easier to reduce

from

a

three guaranteed selections.

be clear about the definition of a mentor. Write

down

your definition.

A mentor

Now, mentors

I

is:

want you

up the phone and

(or a trusted friend or colleague)

tion. Just ask the

definition.

What

to pick

and ask

Now write

his or her definition

did you find? You probably didn't

mentors floating around the universe

The key

is

one of your

his or her defini-

person to share with you, but don't reveal your

down.

come up with

definition, right? That's because there are as

chips.

call

to develop a

same

definitions of

as there are varieties

of potato

mentoring relationship that both

you think

a

mentor

but your mentor

is

under the

people can agree upon. In other words,

supposed to give you business

many

the

leads,

if

is

70

RealHonaire

impression that

slie 's

supposed to simply chat with you about busi-

ness strategy, there could be problems. So get clear beforehand.

Write

down what

Now make

a

list

you'd

like, in

an ideal world, from a mentor.

of nine potential mentors.

1.

2. 3.

4. 5.

6.

7. 8.

9.

Over the next seven

days,

make

contact with these nine people,

sharing your business goals or dreams and asking for their support.

Keep

in

mind

that

you have an ideal-world wish

when you approach your

potential mentors.

list,

Good

so be honest

fortune!

STEP

Seize Every Opportunity how even

learned that opportunities are everywhere,

I

in

your biggest problems and setbacks

Remember

that show, Kids Say the Darndest Things^

must have been named putting

my

foot in

my

after

me

because

mouth. Oh, not

somehow

in a

I

bad way

That show was always

at all.

But

I

was always asking the question most adults hated: "Why?" I'd I say,

grown up with not

as

sure to be raised.

I

a

mother who was very much from the "do

do" school of thought.

met with "because

I

And

if you

asked "why,"

said so." That's just

Children didn't talk back to grown

folks.

And

how

it

as

was

she was

they certainly

didn't question them!

my "whys" were always met with a mixture of contempt and curiosity. On one hand my mother wanted me to be inquisitive. On the other hand, she wanted me to take my rightful place in the hierSo

archy and simply follow the I

was an "out of the box"

lenge

rules.

thinker.

It

my mom and other grown-ups. 71

I

wasn't that

I

wanted

to chal-

was genuinely curious about

72

Reallionaire

my surroundings and how things worked. And more important, my head was full of positive thoughts of what was to come. Once I started UNEEC, this little voice was always going off in my head, saying, Way to go, Farrah. You are really the world,

making moves instead ofjust dreaming.

A goal is a dream a date on

^^e pictures in

with

^^^^ "^^^^

it

I want answered. You cant he I

was

like a

anyone

like

young child

sports car. Unfortunately,

to he like?

else.

I

didn't

the

used

who do

little

voice

You re Farrah.

know how

I felt

Now,

up,

I

a blend

s

seat

of a brand-new

to drive.

And worse,

I

of excitement and anxi-

There's usually one person a child could go to for help in that

situation.

me,

When 1 grow

sitting in the driver

couldn't even reach the pedals! ety.

"^^^^ colorful.

myself.

—Unknown

my head were

it

"I

was

Someone

him

to help

Mom.

have a stomachache,"

on her

or her feel safe in the world. For

I

told her

one night

as I laid

my

head

chest.

She squeezed

She stroked

me

"A stomachache? You don't look

tightly.

my head

gently. "I think

you

just

need your

sick."

mommy."

We both laughed. Mom was right. Whatever was wrong in my world would be made better by some quality time with her. I

grinned from ear to

she turned away.

thought maybe I

I

Her

was

but

ear,

spirit

Mom

didn't smile back. Instead,

changed from happy

to

sad.

I

but she didn't want to scare me. Did

sick,

look that bad? "What's wrong?"

I

asked.

"You're fine, Fairah.

It's

probably just your gut telling you that

things are about to change," she said. "You have a classic case of a

nervous stomach."

Step

4:

Seize Every Opportunity

"So

I

wont have

73

any medicine?"

to take

"No, sweetheart."

"Good."

better aheady.

felt

I

"What's wrong then?"

sullen.

She took a deep breath. I

But Mom's expression remained

"We

have to move in a few days."

Why?"

pulled away from her, shocked. "What?

"We're going to get evicted," she said, trying to keep her voice

Now

from cracking. was

also angry.

I

I

was sick for

my

wasn't angry at

Not only was

sure.

mother, but

I

sick,

I

was

mad

I

at

something.

Mom? We

"Why,

"No, baby, we

don't have

don't.

I

enough

spent the rent

meeting where you met Roi Tauer.

name,

had

to

I

couldn't believe

First-class isn't cheap. I

pay

money

preparing for the

have about forty dollars to

my

my ears.

pay the printer quite a

had

sentations. All the materials

to

I

pay the rent?"

that's it."

"But ..." "I

to

had

to

bit

of money to produce the pre-

to be first-class

pay

and high

for the conference

for the coffee, the donuts, sugar, cream, cups

"But

I

quality.

room.

I

had

and napkins."

thought you helped businesses make money."

"That's only if they choose

me to be their consultant. They didn't

choose me, Farrah." I

didn't

want tear

understand what was happening.

to ever see

up

my mom

I

just

knew that

wear that expression again.

so she tried to console me.

"What

I

I

didn't

I

started to

had hoped

for didn't

happen. But you gained a mentor, and you learned a valuable son: don't be so desperate that

you put

all

She forced a smile. "You have to be sweetheart.

prove that

I

I

was hustling in the

last

les-

your eggs in one basket." a juggler

and

a hustler,

meeting, Farrah. Hustling to

was the most qualified person

for the job."

74

Reallionaire

"Why do you

My mom words

think you didn't get the contract?"

paused for a second

wanted

as if she

to choose her

She was not the type tq mince words, but she was

carefully.

always a thoughtful communicator. She wanted to teach us well. She'd

say,

"You have

and your words, "I

to live with the consequences of your actions

so choose

them

carefully."

thought you did a good job,

Why

Mama.

didn't they pick

your

"My

gut feeling

me

tells

know

they didn't

suntan until they walked into the room.

had

a

permanent

gotten the meeting

I'd

based on a telephone conference with them.

I

I'd

never met them,"

she said.

My mom

then explained that she had invited Roi Tauer to the

presentation in the hope that his presence and credentials might

soothe any ruffled feathers. She thought that her association with

such a well-known and well-respected businessman would win her points with the potential client, even

one you meet ter

and

will accept

if

she was black. "Not every-

you based on the content of your charac-

qualifications, Farrah. That's just the

"But / didn't fail I There's

a

was

difference,

you have

"^W

rejected

way

that's

it is."

not right,"

down

turn you

can't

said.

I

just

hcc^nsc you're black."

and

"^o,

to learn to deal

there's

with both

it's

not right, baby, but

one thing

all

of your men-

tors will tell you. If you're

1^^^

going

to be an entrepreneur, you'll have

to

grow thick

skin," she said. "Son,

There's a difference, and

you have

an upperdog, not an underdog. straps to

make

it

as a

I

I

didn't

fail,

I

was

rejected.

to learn to deal with both.

pulled myself up from

businesswoman.

And

I'll

But I'm

my boot-

get another shot."

Step

Seize Every Opporainity

4:

That

night, as

Mom tucked me into her bed, she said something

"Dream

never forget.

I'll

75

be anything you want."

my little golden child. You can do Then she planted a kiss on my cheek big,

and and

the room.

left

"Love you,"

"Not

as

said as

I

much

as

I

watched her walk toward the doorway.

love you," she said as she turned off the light

I

me

and shut the door. That conversation sent flurry of thoughts centering

couldn't

tice. I

my mom

that

because

tell

had

didn't

I

on

into orbit.

eviction notices, racism

I

and

had

a

injus-

was feeling most. Anger over the

what

I

lost a

job because she wasn't white, or scared

know where we were going

to live if

fact

we

got

evicted.

The tion.

next morning

As

I

brushed

I

my

teeth,

brushes and every other

and shampoo.

tissue all

name.

I

couldn't help but be slapped with

commodity

looked around

Mom

off of the conversa-

the toothpaste, tooth-

home had

only forty

at the soap, towels,

bathroom

in our

was responsible

for providing us

with

of that.

We

affectionately called

wondered how she was going and

sisters

them.

I

The

was keeping

the "miracle worker,"

to save us this time.

home?

my mouth

I

they

Did

but

I

my brothers

know we were about

wasn't going to be the one to

tell

shut.

next twenty-four hours were gloomy at best. There wasn't a

of chatter in

watching dishes,

Mom

know what was going on? Did

to be kicked out of our

lot

I

who bought

the reality that the person

dollars to her

my mind

couldn't get

Mom.

my

house that day.

I

spent most of the day just

She worked around the house. Did laundry, washed

cooked whatever food was in the cupboard. Occasionally,

I'd

catch a glimpse of her crying, though not often. Crying, like sleeping, wasn't

something we saw very

much from Mom.

76

Reallionaire

As the

giving, not receiving or taking.

But that

for anyone's help.

At

was accustomed

oldest in her family, she

least that's

what

When Mom

I

So

didn't

knew

I

mean

to serving

and

she wasn't going to ask

couldn't ask for her, right?

I

thought.

had gone

room

to her

to

down,

lie

called

I

Roi

Tauer and told him that we were being evicted. Answers always

seemed help line

my by

come

to

family.

easily for Roi, so

had no idea that perhaps

I

To me,

calling him.

to help ease his

But

after

the

phone

mom's

was

I

pain.

I

silently.

"What do you

I

was doing

think?"

we

ness relationship well

good

thing.

on the other end of

he I

said.

asked.

know you

I

am

Now I was the silent one. secrets,

me

because of the busi-

I

but what are

if you

thought that

you could probably

secret,

your

you

don't

family's busi-

certain she will not be very pleased."

sonal information as well. "Yes,

"This can be our

called

to discuss your mother's or

ness with me," he said. "I

sir,

desperately

established through your mother, but

enough

one with business

a

crossing a

"Roi? Are you there?"

"Listen to me, Farrah.

"Yes,

who wanted

just a kid

thought

would be

I

told Roi about our situation, he sat

I

"Yes, Farrah, I'm here,"

know me

thought he would be able to

I

sir, I

could trust some-

trust

them with

per-

understand."

okay?" he said.

we going

to do?

She said we're gonna be

evicted."

"Farrah, have

you ever seen your

mom

give

up when things got

tough?"

"No,

sir."

"I didn't

think

so.

You know, you

a successful businessperson. just

need a

lot

You

don't have to have

money to

don't need a college degree.

be

You

of common sense backed up by a willingness to work

Step

4:

77

Seize Ever>" Opportunity

hard. Your

mom has a lot of common sense,

work

a great

ethic,

and

she works without ever complaining, right?" "Yes, sir."

new mentor, but

"I'm your

you've got the best mentor in the

world living under the same roof with you. Your mother believes in

and

herself,

through

she'll pull

You've gotta have faith

this situation.

in her."

was

I

by

slightly baffled

Roi's

common

about confidence, faith and the

phone wondering

streets.

if

What

I

we could

really

going to be

Maybe

some money

so

was

sitting

and we had had

on

on the to live

get another apartment. for

Roi to

secretly

I

tell

me

that everything

was

was hoping Roi would give us

we wouldn't be thrown out of our apartment. But

me

sometimes serves food you

after

he reminded

like,

he made another suggestion:

"Let's

I

to have to sleep

evicted before,

wanted was

fine.

sense while

we were going

My family had been

in our car until

comments. Here he was talking

that

meet tomorrow.

life

I'll

call

mom

your

"What kind of exercise?"

not

later on, to ask for

permission. While you're with me, she can get

room, and you can get some

may

some breathing

exercise."

I

asked.

"You'll see," he said.

Why did grown-ups Jonathan took

me

get out of the house, still

excited about

to

love that phrase so

meet Roi the next

and

I

wanted

UNEEC.

UNEEC

hooked

We

Kids have a wonderful

wasn't going to be too bad. since I'd

day.

us

both wanted to

to talk his ear off because

ing back from seemingly tragic situations.

moving

much?

I'd

I'd

up with

I

was

way of bounc-

convinced myself that

still

see

my

friends in

free transportation every

78

Reallionaire

Saturday. Plus, if

we moved,

I'd

meet new friends and maybe get

more members. Jonathan and reasons.

I

were happy to be out together

He wanted

to talk to

girls,

and

I

—but

wanted

for different

to talk business.

When we arrived at Roi s high-rise condominium I told my brother, "This

is

where people who make money

—

a lot of

—

money

live. I

bet they aren't getting evicted."

Jonathan answered,

neighborhood

in a

"I told

Mom that one day we're going to live

just like this. I'm

going to

own one

of these

shot back.

We were

buildings."

Mom that

"I told

was going to

I

retire her!" I

always hearing professional athletes talking about retiring their parents,

and that sounded

We

"Let's go,"

to.

thing to me.

buzzed Roi's apartment on the intercom.

we were waiting for an

off the elevator just as

I

like a great

he

knew Roi

said.

"The

well

enough not

As he'd taught me,

we

his building

understand, and

followed

him

I

elevator to take us up.

has already started." to ask

what

classes

he was taking us

we

silence can be a virtue. Shortly after

didn't

inside.

coming

us

arrived at a martial arts school. Karate?

on the

"Let's sit in

class

He met

want

to

class for a

go

I

left

didn't

inside.

second," Roi said as

For about an hour

we

we

reluctantly

did nothing but watch

the instructor teach and interact with about a dozen students.

When

Roi had seen enough, we

left.

Roi took us to our bus stop and said good-bye. Jonathan and looked three

at

one another.

words

We

What had just happened? Roi had

to us during the class

and even fewer

after

arrived back in our 'hood just in time to see

the street.

The

closer

she was smiling.

we

got to her, the

it

of

said

all

was

over.

Mom

more apparent

I

it

crossing

was that

Step

4:

Seize Every Opporainity

"How

are

79

my babies?"

she said.

"Hey Mama, whereVe you been?" She answered.

"I'll tell

Once we were meet us

once we get inside."

all

inside she called

in the living

why she'd gone from

room.

We

to

the kitchen to

wondering

in front of her,

crying the previous day to smiling.

We looked around at each other. had

my sister from

all sat

have to move. Not yet anyway," she

"I

said nothing. Finally, she

do something

that

I

"We

don't

said.

"Why, what happened?"

pray you never

will. I

had

to

hold

my nose while I drank dirty water," she said. We all said the same thing. "Drank dirty water?! You drank dirty Mama?"

water.

"No, It

means

was

didn't drink dirty water.

I

that

really

I

did something

I

.

.

.

didn't

That was want

a figure of speech.

to do.

Something that

hard to do."

Kiki sat up straight.

"What did you doV

signed up for public assistance."

"I

"We have

to go to the grocery store with

food stamps?" That was

Jonathan's question.

"What

doesn't

kill

you

will

shot back. "I just told you water.

You think

that

I

make you

had

was easy

me?

I

have otherwise killed me, but we've got we're

gonna have food

Mom

my nose while I drank dirty

to hold

for

stronger, Jonathan,"

did something that would

money

to

pay the rent and

to eat."

"Were you embarrassed?" That was

Kiki's question.

"About what? About having to admit I'm not superwoman? All

my

family

evicted.

have," I

I

members have

just

enough

to keep

would never burden them by asking

them from

for

getting

money they

don't

Mom said.

was confused again.

I'd

always seen

my mom

giving to others.

80

Reallionaire

but

I

couldn't

no one

remember anyone giving her anything. "Why is

ever gives

money from some of the

people

I

help, but

it

and

was done. She'd done what she had

family.

down

But she wasn't the one

not receive

to you."

Mom,

to

who was

do

to take care of her

going to have to march

to the store with food stamps.

Even though we

lived in the projects, there

you

i

Sometime you have things you don't

hut

may

few more minutes. For

sat there for a

I

I

receive in other ways.

I

Remember, whatever you send out comes back Kiki, Jonathan

that

my question.

you anything, Mama?" That was

"Sweetheart, nothing's further from the truth!

it

that's part

to

want

was

this illusion that

weren't poor until your family

on public

do

had

to do,

Now we were in another class,

assistance.

we were not happy about

of life. Accept

your decision and build on

to rely

We knew

it

that

neighborhood

into the future.

it

and

at

all.

everyone in the

store

was going to

see us as poor.

That night

I

tossed

and turned

dirty-water analogy out of my head.

my stomach. The idea that Mom didn't settle well

morning,

I

know what

moms

with me.

didn't ask I

It

was thinking.

were on welfare.

I

it. I

needed to

Mom's

The thought made me

sick to

had

I

like

we were

talk to

I

begging. didn't

The

next

want her

wondered how many of

How many I

I

to ask total strangers for help

any questions because

being on public assistance?

about

was

couldn't get

for hours.

my

to

friends'

of them were ashamed about

needed

to ask

someone about

them how they

this

new

thought back to what Roi had said about family

our welfare story had to remain in the family.

situation.

secrets.

I

felt

But

decided

Step

4:

Seize E\

81

Opportunit}'

er\"

Like Brother, Like Son

"Tomorrow never

dies,"

my brother Andre

used to

by which

say,

he meant there was always hope because you always had another

day

to pursue

your dream. The oldest of five children, Andre truly

believed he was destined for greatness.

A

Williams and Colin Powell, he had

all:

charm.

And

was so

since he

much

eled in his role as surrogate father. in telling us

dont have do."

how we do

to

We weren't

Andre had

strings

He

and

took great pleasure and pride

stupid; he

say,

"Now, you

but I'm just telling you what

meant you should do

endless dreams.

He Uked

I

would

his way.

it

quoting Ralph Waldo

is all

gates, all

opportuni-

of tension waiting to be struck. Andre was about

mighty tune. Watching

to play a

looks, intelligence

older than the rest of us, he rev-

Emerson, who once said that the world ties,

Dee

between

should do things. He'd always

this way,

it

it

Billy

cross

preneurial ventures fueled his

Mom

own

pursue her

many

entre-

ambition, and one day he

decided to enter an essay contest for an all-expenses-paid

trip to

Japan. His confidence must have faltered, though, because he never sent the

letter.

One day Mom came

was so impressed by She figured even start

if

it

across the

that she mailed

surprise

she told

and

joy.

essay.

She

in to the contest judges.

it

he didn't win the contest, he'd have a running

on writing an executive summary

When

completed

him what

for his

she'd done,

I

own

future business.

think he

Surprise that she thought

it

actually submit; joy because he could see

felt a

blend of

was good enough to

how

excited she was

about the possibility of him going to Japan.

"You

really

"Nope

...

Andre was

think I

I

can win,

don't think

baffled.

Mama?" he

asked her one day.

you can win, Andre,"

Mom

responded.

82

Reallionaire

"Then why did you send "You asked

you

me

it

in?"

thought you could win. ...

if I

can," she said.

Andre smiled only four

don't.

I

know

I

^

kid who'd just gotten his

like a

at the time,

but

I

can

first bicycle. I

was

see his boyish expression as she

still

hugged him and told him how proud she was.

About copy

month

later

we

all

marched down

center. Andre's notification letter

sen. It

went

a

was

a

proud day

in the

had

to the nearby

arrived.

Kinko s

He'd been cho-

Gray household the day when we

to Kinko's for Andre's passport photos.

He would

all

be leaving

within the next three months on an all-expenses-paid trip to

Tokyo

Knowing

we must apply. Willing

Committee, promoting

'""'^^l understanding and friendship

is

P^°P'^ °f >P*" ^"'i

not enough; we must da

''"^^^^

—

American entrepreneurs. ^

„ Bruce Lee ,

Andre became the to travel out of the country

and

a briefcase,

ties,

basic Japanese

For a kid

who

had explained but

I

was

selected

mother and grandmother

new

discount

suits, shirts

and Japanese language tapes so he could

didn't have the physical presence

that every

learn

expressions.

just "big bro."

model

My

luggage, two

grammar and

was more than tive role

new

in our family

Century of the

to participate in the

Conference delegation.

bankrolled Andre for

first

and the only African American

by the Japan-American Society Pacific

Young

a delegate with the

Professional

not enough;

is

as

He'd become

in his

was a good thing, and

also a little sad because

it

meant

I

father,

my confidant,

young black boy needs

that his leaving

of a

I

Andre

the posi-

life.

Mom

believed her,

wouldn't get to see

him

for a while.

One

night while he packed he noticed

my

long

face.

"Get over

"

-

W o

OC

Ln

c«

Ln

(70

^ o Oo Oo 4^

c

SI

^

H >

CO 5?

CO

w

I—

—

m 3

ere

3


O 1

— Q =t 6.

o

ro

—


m

=

15

O

3*

00 I ^ — c«

Ln

3-

O S OB

= O c ^ Z E 6

V


^

spend the money on anything that wasn't business-

Sometimes,

monies were

^^EEC

^P^^^^^S ^"

^^*^^>^

last

let

J^^^

^

a company that

wouldn't

"^^^^ '^^"^ happen.

^'^^•^^

kept the structure simple to

have

the bed right at the

bottom." In other words, plan well, and don't let

We

make up

for saying, "Baby, if you don't

my help

we understood

company

my mom

stash.

that these

And, of course,

—although she wouldn't

for long!

Happy Days Are Here Again I

turned cartwheels and moon-walked a few yards

that Roi

was going to be returning

opened an Ideators Think Tank

to

when

Chicago from China.

office in

I

heard

He had

China, and he was coming

home to make some new connections. His

return signaled changing

Step

4:

Seize Every Opporainity

winds

in

my

both

introduced

89

mother's and

Mom to a young lawyer,

to be Hcensed to practice lived in

my future

He

businesses direction.

Fiona Wong, the

law in the United

States.

first

Chinese

Although she

America with her U.S.-born husband, Fiona was the

daughter of the head of the military in the northern region of kept her on the search for joint ven-

China. Fionas government

ties

ture partnerships. Before

coming

United

to the

manager of a state-owned import-export company She was excited about meeting

Mom

States, she

was

for several years.

because Roi had extended

such a high recommendation.

The two women found they had only one major between them, and that was

difference

their cultural backgrounds. Otherwise,

they mirrored each other in their thinking and approach to business.

They

started a joint venture

Partnership,

whose principal

named Municipal Bond Finance was matching Chinese and

service

American businesses and creating business prospects Chinese seeking investor

My mother set up firm

my

visas in the

United

With new

New

my mother

business

food stamps. The

new

York. She

became the

came the money

a

traveling partner. to finally say farewell to

downtown Chicago

apartment building with a doorman and

George Jefferson and Weezy.

We'd

managed the day-to-day

job also meant that we'd be moving into a

three-bedroom apartment in

east side.

law

brother worked with in Washington, D.C. Fiona estab-

operations while

like

States.

a lobbying office in conjunction with the

lished another office in

I felt

for wealthy

finally gotten a piece

all

high-rise

types of conveniences.

We were movin' on up to the

of the

pie!

When you grow up poor, you don't own many prized possessions so there's

no anxiety about how

to

prepared to leave our apartment,

pack your belongings. So I

as

we

had no thoughts of breaking

90

Reallionaire

how

precious heirlooms or

we

poor, so

didn't have

certain items

much. In

us to leave old furniture behind

fact, it

way

travel.

whenever we moved.

to rent a

We

were

was actually customary

cheaper to purchase basic furniture that rather than figuring out a

might

U-Haul

was simply

new environment

our

fit

It

for

or pay

someone

to

help us move.

Moving meant making

new

the

one, which gave

several trips

me

change her

opportunity.

life,

Her

for our family,

and

as a result

persistence

and

I,

had

for one,

my bags

how different your life

chance to see

My mom had put herself in a position

can be with just one choice. to

a

from our old apartment to

she attracted a great business

resulted in a higher quality of life

was

thrilled.

my new bedroom, I looked out of the window with renewed hope for my future. I agreed with Greek oraAs

tor

I

unpacked

Demosthenes who

in

said that small opportunities are often the It

was exciting to be moving to a

feet

without bumping into someone

beginnings of great enterprises. place where else in the

I

could walk three

same room.

Plus, the

pool, restaurants, security

We were

hotel.

But

as

we

that rivaled a five-star

in heaven!

Mom

new

of our

abode, certain

was going to be traveling back and forth to

York. She'd be gone at least three to four days each week.

Andre was about had

and amenities

settled into the confines

realities set in.

New

new place had an indoor swimming

to return to Japan.

just quadrupled,

money, most of

There wasn't baby!

Still,

"What

are

it

really

the

so even

was going

room

Our monthly

though

Mom

to hire a babysitter,

was making more

new

to our plush,

and

main question around the dinner

we going

to

do with Farrah?"

wouldn't be answered immediately.

It

living expenses

living quarters.

besides,

table

was

I

wasn't a

was always,

a question that

Step

Seize Every OpporOinity

4:

But Roi

91

brought with him a

also

him, Andre's business, Export against a competitor.

two major powers Asia.

Japan's

He

bit

Now

of bad news. According to

Trade Delegation, was up

explained that rarely have there ever been

in this business in

economy was on

Talk doesn't cook

the

downturn, and China was becoming

Rim

the Pacific

He

trade.

country of choice for

global

Andre was after

rice.

—Chinese

proverb

explained the yin and yang

circumstances that would ultimately shut

The

the

down

Andre's business.

economic and business climate had changed,

flying high.

Within no time, he was back

just as

living with us

having such an exciting time in the Pacific Rim. But he was

about to get an unexpected knock on his door.

A former

business

acquaintance of Andre's sponsor in Tokyo was expanding his business consultancy service to

London, and they wanted

Andre about overseeing those

operations.

Andre was

a natural can-

didate to host a two-way trade mission from Japan to

London skills

He had

to Japan.

firsthand cross-cultural

to chat with

London and

communication

and understood Japanese business etiquette and protocol.

The

first

time he'd gone to Japan, Andre's

letters

always

men-

tioned that "relationships and loyalty are very important factors

when conducting there,

he

States.

said.

He

It's

business in Japan." Your

not like the

was about to

see

way we

had come

true.

is

your bond over

toss that phrase

around

in the

both relationships and loyalty come

through when he needed them most. to Japan

word

My brother's dream

to return

Within weeks he would be boarding

a

JAL

(Japan Airlines) flight for Tokyo to begin working again.

Our

family was maturing.

eviction

And

and hunger, we were able

Together,

we

explored

without the constant pressure of to relax

and enjoy life

downtown Chicago with

a bit more.

different eyes.

92

Reallionaire

Kiki s

window shopping ignited her desire

ion design. Fashion design was a perfect creative, styHsh, artistic

own

to attend school for fash-

Kiki was pretty, petite,

fit.

and had aheady

filled

notebooks with her

fashion illustrations. She was anxious to attend the local fash-

ion school in the Merchandise Mart, which was within walking distance from our apartment. Jonathan was a loner, following the beat

own drum.

of his

Grandma took him air

was

UNEEC

to live with her in Phoenix, Arizona,

And I was

drier.

from

my new

ment of the move and I

asthma problems were mounting, so

Alex's

trying to

work out the

the

of running

logistics

neighborhood. Even with

all

new neighborhood, I was

where the

of the excite-

getting restless.

missed those familiar faces and places back in the 'hood.

one to play with or

No Mom, Soon

Roi,

at least for three to four

who had gone back

told

I

much longer.

Andre

that

own

gain.

failure

Small opportunities are

we

j

often the beginnings of

trying to mani-

a part

to worry, that

of being a success.

make

sense."

do something just

to suc-

frowned. "That doesn't don't

^^^oxx

great enterprises.

say,

Andre told me not was

^^^j

-

my

UNEEC was going to

Parents were "tripping," as

pulate the club for their

to China.

decided to confide in

I

didn't think

I

had no

days out of the week.

he got back from China,

after

big brother. last

No

talk to.

I

«You do things because

they are in your heart to do them. But

even though you follow your heart, there are

still

no guarantees,

old soul." I

was starting to understand

Andre and

Mom

when

too, too

I

was

going to ask

Mom

all

of the concepts that Roi,

had been harping on

young

if

to grasp them.

he could take

six-week trip to start his

for the past four years,

new

job.

me

Andre

to Japan with

"But

let

me

me

he was

him

for his

told

ask her," he said.

— Step

4:

Seize Every Opporainity

93

He knew me

"Don't go being a motormouth!"

Andre explained the grand

me

tages to it

living in

culture

hard knocks.

for us both.

and getting a degree

sounded good

at

me

we went

She said

Kinkos

to

I

like a

I

The

was

plan

yes.

for passport photos.

prepared for

Brimming

my new excursion

ate sushi. That's

to

when

it

ton of bricks. I cant speak Japanese! And I hate raw fish! I

going anywhere!

lived

got cold

I

feet. I

that people

and worked

from

in Japan.

me

ties for

English-speaking foreigners and

there were

all

their families. Besides,

me all

you

will

me,

I

win

relationships.

will bring

flight to

he explained, of the time.

wasn't

I

would

landed, but

in a suit.

love I

if you don't like living

I

offer

my

I

was

for

I

excited,

for

and Andre

away from home.

Mom,

Jonathan,

flipped through

magazines and read the dictionary on the plane. I

my new life.

was too long

It

my new home time,

with

couldn't refuse

I

was ready

But

proverb

my introduction to win-

was already missing

To occupy

the movies they showed, but

poor who does

I'm not in a meeting,

Japan was about ten hours long.

that

Kiki and Alex.

I

_japanese

"When

And

built-in "out" clause.

sit still

is

of activi-

sorts

Andre had made me an

an eight-year-old to

We hadn't even

that

not feel content

you back home." That was

and even had a

had promised

He

He

assured

be with

announced

was staying home.

I

Andre explained America

a

from the school of

in business

Mom.

to

thought. Within a few hours,

The

would be learning about

where the people spoke Japanese and

a place

Mom on how

while she was away on business.

And

me.

to

next day

home

with excitement and high hopes,

hit

I

sell

Mom would no longer have to worry about how

being cared for

The

There would be many advan-

plan.

Tokyo with him. He would

would be an education

new

well.

I

can't

know I watched them

some

remember

because

I

was

94

Reallionaire

bored to

tears.

somewhere

From coaster

the airport

on

that's

when

Andre was

I

missed

Why?

made

sure

lessons to

I

what

I

was

ate a lot

The

in school.

me

I

sushi? Well,

still

and

As dynamic

couldn't

but

I

can't say

was enrolled in

me

a

I

missed school.

new world of edu-

on an ongoing

basis,

with hands-on experience. The

UNEEC felt like kindergarten compared

lives like

warriors

—with

their busi-

precision, execution,

perfection. as

to business. I

castles,

of tempura shrimp and chicken!

to lifelong learning

that provided

I

was about to absorb in Japan. The Japanese ran

discipline

warriors.

I

committed

and personal

nesses

came

but

learned through

I

was

activities

ceremony, Buddhist temples and

my normal surroundings,

a classroom

jet

His busi-

experienced Japanese cultural

I

theatre, a tea

fish,

Because

cation that

decided that a private

my personal tour guide.

plus plenty of duty-free shopping.

stomach raw

I

we boarded a train, which was Uke riding a roller-

the ground.

Kabuki

as

think

my future.

in

ness associates

such

I

Tokyo was, I

it

was

also ultraconservative

when

it

was struck by the politeness of Japan's corporate

was particularly keyed in to

how

they interacted with

He made it easy to do business with him. He could speak language. He ate their food. He dressed, walked, talked and

Andre. their

conducted business in the same way they In only six weeks,

Andre taught me

did.

a great lesson in adaptability.

Now it was time for me to head home. On the flight home he asked some very important

who you

questions.

"Do you have

a greater sense of

He

explained that our

are after being in Japan?"

mother had

raised us to be

he asked.

independent thinkers

who

believed that

poor, ordinary people could achieve great things. "Anything possible, Farrah.

Nobody's guaranteed a great

influence our finish."

start,

but

we can

is

all

Step

4:

Seize Every Opporainity

My

mind

95

raced back to everything

Mom

me

had taught

about

She insisted that we pay attention to everything around

business.

us.

She instructed us to study and read everything that crossed our paths, whether

it

was a business

zine, people or whatever.

Once back motion.

had

Andre had been

a different take

I

began to put

I'd

ried themselves, like

had

also

I

to

had

suits carrying

how

they dressed and car-

remind myself that they were men, used to

say,

a

"They put

just

their pants

leg at a time just like the rest of us."

After deciding where

ran across the

I

wanted

UNEEC

business papers. Staring at all

I

in

my lunchbox briefcase to

was with

I

my brother and me. As Mom

on one

I

have to upgrade

one. But as impressed as

real

my plan

on the "look" of success.

been mesmerized by the Japanese businessmen in dark expensive briefcases.

maga-

a fantastic role model.

Chicago apartment,

in our

First, I

card, leaflet, flyer, newspaper, book,

of the members of

college student.

It

to store

all

my Japanese souvenirs, kept all my important

file

box where

me

was a photocopy of a poem given to

UNEEC

by

I

a former Tuskegee University

was written by Edgar Guest and had been recited

by Dr. George Washington Carver during

his

address at Selma University in Selma, Alabama, Its called

"Equipment," and

than anything

I've ever

I

my

it

Youve

all that the greatest

With

out for yourself ,

equipment they

so start for the top

lad,

legs,

two

would he all began,

and say,

"/ can.

''

eyes wise.

27, 1942.

sum up more

of men have had.

hands, two

brain to use ifyou

this

May

UNEEC spirit:

Figure

And a

on

think these few lines

read the

Two arms, two

commencement

96

Reallionaire

REAL POINTS: Your

Setback

First

You're going to experience problems on your road to success; that's

life.

Learning to deal with adversity and keep a cool head

most important

1

You

skill

you

will

is

the

ever acquire.

are going to suffer setbacks. Guaranteed. The greatest

basketball player

in

the world misses thousands of shots, the

greatest baseball hitter strikes out. Trying to avoid failure at

costs

is

not only a waste of time and money,

it

keeps you from

pressing forward for success. Preparing for setbacks

every

2

a difference between

is

and being

failing

problems are not your fault— and racism

sand examples. Analyze every

3.

and

learn

When

from

rejected.

in

shame

the

first

failure.

way

having a

is

My

All

only one of a thou-

times are tough, do what you have to do.

stand

Your

is

so you can understand

situation

welfare, but

she did

building a bridge to a better future.

4.

worth

it.

want to take

didn't

is

effort.

There

it

all

of things realistic

business

may

you

really

Even when you fail— and you

mean

failed in business.

attitude

let

pride

have to do. There's no

soon see, so did I— more than once. But we because we kept a winner's

don't

She was

life.

but that doesn't

mother and brother both

My mother

for her family.

Be proud, but

outlook on

fail,

it

all

you're a

As

you'll

bounced back

and kept moving forward.

will at least

—you have to con-

once

tinue to believe. 5.

Relationships and loyalty are the bedrock of success. They

will

see you through the tough times. 6.

Don't do things just to succeed. your heart, you can find a

7.

Invest

in

If

you have the burning

way through any

fire in

storm.

people, not opportunities. The right friends or business

Step

4:

Seize Every Opportunity

associates believe in

in

will

stand by you

97

in

and care about your ultimate success. The same

reverse.

If

you're not willing to see

times and continue to believe invested

times of trouble because they

in

in

someone through

true

the tough

them, then you shouldn't be

them.

REALLIONAIRE AFFIRMATION

When

is

things are at their worst, I

am

at

my strongest

98

Reallionaire

Reallionaire Exercise: Seize Every Opportunity

How many opportunities walk right past our doors every single day? How many times have you gone to a conference, heard a speaker in your field and

let

that person walk out of the building

without making an introduction? That's not ing!

And

to paraphrase the old

You

the rice."

gotta turn

up the heat

us

from

you expect

if

to cook!

involves charting a reasonable

You may wonder why

Four to have you write down your madness.

snooz-

Chinese proverb, "Talk doesn't cook

Part of seizing opportunities

course for your success.

seizing, that's

I

waited until Step

method

goals. There's a

to

my

We must all get in touch with the "inside" stuff that keeps realizing our dreams. That's

what we did

through Three. Unless that process takes place, you

in Steps

One

will never get a

sniff of your goals.

By now you should have and what you want. There

a

more

Now you can

crystallized

emotional, physical and mental.

by sharing from

are

begin to capture those on paper.

are four areas to nurture in order to

spiritual,

view of who you

become

I'll

give

a reallionaire:

you

a

head

start

my log. Farrah's Goals

Spiritual:

To spend

at least

twenty minutes a day in prayer or

meditation Emotional: To become more aware of

how my

triggers affect

my

employees Physical: office)

To engage each day

in

some form of physical

activity (outside the

Step

4:

Seize Every Opportunity

Mental: To recognize off before

Now,

it's

it

99

when

takes a toll

I'm overworking and take some time

on

my body and mind

your turn. Write three goals for each

area.

Spiritual 1.

2. 3.

Emotional 1.

2. 3.

Physical 1.

2. 3.

Mental 1.

2. 3.

Now

I

want you

to create a success ladder for each area.

your progress over the next twelve weeks, recording

doing with each

step.

Chart

how you

are

.

STEP

Go with the Flow But how and

I

cards a

Know Where You Want life

most prized possession growing up

—was my

library card.

poor kid s best

why

friend,

Mom

—

besides

—

as

much

times a week

as

I

got, the

more

I

could.

she was

My

Through

UNEEC

My

mother always believed

a nine-year-old trying to

had honed

fear rejection.

lanthropist.

I

I

my

leadership

was becoming

many

the power of words, she was

But knowledge and education were two things as

were

speak-

didn't have

knowledge and education could get you out of any

back on

We

mother read the dictionary four

young because they

able to visit places in her mind.

is

understood

—from books, from newspapers, from

we

when

business

always said that a library card

and the older

other books in her house.

fall

my

she believed that. Education reigned in our house.

encouraged to learn ers

Go

to

learned to stop trying to beat the system

start loving

My

.

.

skills

that

situation. I

didn't have to

run a business club.

and taught

me

a salesman, a negotiator

never to

and

a phi-

had learned the power of working with kids and how

101

102

Reallionaire

important

was

this

to business

and community

was willing to help the kids ...

As

I

said,

most adults

the lives of kids

—

love

at least at first.

working

especially kids

make

to

my sales

"Yes, this

a positive change in

from the ghetto.

munity pride and recycling community thrust of

pitch whenever

Td

was

I

dollars

call a

—

selling

prospective speaker.

Urban Neighborhood Economic Enterprise Club. We're

own

our

who

ages seven to twelve

and making

businesses

Bam! Most people became

are

com-

was the

that

UNEEC,

Farrah Gray, I'm the spokesperson for

is

young people

Everybody

leaders.

a

group of

working toward creating

a positive

impact on the world."

intrigued just after hearing that!

my presentation and speaking skills continued to sharpen I set out to impress and convince my listening audience to invest money As

and contribute the products and businesses.

I

made

finally learned

useful

it

it

clear that

services

we needed

we were looking

to people in positions of power.

was attracting three primary types of support:

and earth angels who would share

was

I

as

selling

we

built

their

mas

investors,

wisdom and

UNEEC mentors

give us

much-

our ladder of success.

more than

just "help the kids."

minded youngsters who were making ourselves

for investors. I'd

what that word meant and, more important, how

was when talking

needed advice

to launch our

We

were

sincere efforts to distance

from the urban blight and the everyday dramas and

in our communities.

situations that were

like-

trau-

We were trying to distance ourselves from

more than ready

nity to develop our natural potential.

to rob us

Some

of the true opportu-

adults were

more com-

fortable calling their contributions donations, but to us every single bit

of

capital,

time and energy was an investment in our future.

You'd have to be a Scrooge not to support the premises under which

we

operated.

Step

Go

5:

We

with the Flow

opened

a

But

Know Where You Want

Go

103

bank account

was

/ at

to

selling

more than just

South Shore Bank, where we "help the kids."

We were

were only allowed to withdraw like-minded youngsters making

money with

the permission of

sincere efforts to distance the branch manager.

The bank

statements were mailed to

ourselves from the urban

my

blight address,

and

I

and

the everyday

had photocopies

dramas and traumas

made

for

home

to

in

our

everyone to take

communities. We were trying to their

parents. This

distance ourselves from process ran smoothly for the

situations that were first

more than

year with outside support,

ready to rob us of the true

guidance and cash injections

from

local businesses.

opportunity to develop

We were

our natural potential. excited

our enterprises

that

were generating enough revenues for us to treat our families to dinner on Sundays after church.

We were

no longer wearing clothes

bought from

thrift stores.

that

had been handed down or

Suddenly, going to the movies wasn't an

occasional treat but a regular form of entertainment. But the great-

perk of being rookie entrepreneurs was personal pride.

est

routinely recognized as

community

sionally featured in the newspapers I

was feeling proud of how

taking shape.

were going

I

it

had

tial

and

fairly well,

I

and on all

and we were occa-

television.

developed.

My dreams were

was learning new things and making money. Things

and

I

didn't expect the

was no

different.

peaks and valleys.

bubble to burst any-

know nothing about contingency

time soon. Most eight-year-olds plans,

role models,

We were

But Roi had prepared

And I was

me

for poten-

about to encounter a ditch the

size

of the Grand Canyon.

Although the kids

in the club

had managed

to keep their focus

104

Reallionaire

on the team concept,

When we

difficult for us.

They were

supportive. ating that

and working

had

their parents started,

things

of the adults were super-

all

excited to see

make

started to

young boys and

in the spirit of unity.

Within

cooper-

girls

a blink of an eye,

changed.

all

In a

over a year, greed had reared

little

was doing

well, getting lots

amount of money from

UNEEC

ugly head.

its

of attention and, more important, a

fair

the business community. At the height of

our growth, certain parents began plotting to pull their children out of

UNEEC

guessed

it,

to start their

own

their child at the

same parents were pushing really

version of business clubs with,

We

helm.

their

own

you

later discovered that those

personal agendas and didn't

have their children's best interest

at heart.

Things were getting to be pretty rough, and

I

couldn't seek Roi's

counsel because he had flown to China

extended business

The greatest reward

^^^•^ understand what

of being a rookie

had perspective to see

to go

eling but she

Although

Mom

than telling

At eight

alone. it

was

my mother who

UNEEC unrav-

I'm sure she saw

is

known

to listen to

I

sound-

intuition.

the future of

UNEEC rather

faced an incredibly difficult decision. Should

UNEEC continue or be dissolved? sion rested squarely

my own

a

for her strong opinions, I'm grateful that

me in a discussion about me what I should do.

years old,

I

Andre gave me the

remained optimistic and supportive. She was

who encouraged me

she engaged

it

beyond the moment, but

me through the rough spot.

ing board

feeling,

guidance. But he wasn't there, so

personal pride.

pulled

was

Roi

desperately needed his support

^

entrepreneur was

I

trip.

on

my

I

was the founder, and

tiny shoulders.

I

had

this deci-

started this club

Step

5:

Go

with the Flow

But

now

with friends and

Know Where You Want

Go

to

105

those friendships were being tested.

way we

I

knew

that if

we continued

ugHer.

They were aheady out of hand. People were telephoning

house and asking

my

Farrah the leader?" After a

the

It

I

made

a decision.

and

I

called our

time to maintain our local bank account.

the

bank account and

him

asked

I

distribute an equal share to

all

in business, but after the dust settled each

A

measly

have probably cashed out

at

fifteen

member

hundred

$1.5 million had

develop our businesses and keep greedy parents

With one phone

UNEEC had been

to close

our year

in

got around

dollars.

We

fif-

could

we been allowed

at bay. I

put to

to

never under-

make

folks could be so selfish. It didn't

call,

book-

the members.

We had made more than one hundred thousand dollars

how grown

is

who donated

tax preparer

his

stood

"Why

as,

to discontented parents issuing threats

a real estate broker

teen hundred dollars.

my

was pathetic.

week of listening

who was

and

get ugHer

mother strange questions, such

and demands by the pound, keeper,

would

were, things

sense.

sleep.

New Beginnings After returning from Japan and closing priority

became

school. After

all, I

down UNEEC, my

was only nine years

UNEEC and my six-week stay in Japan

I felt

as if

I

old,

would be

It

be around people

my own

and thought

I

that

a nice

age.

I

change of pace.

I

was becoming quite

was growing so

adventure attending

I'd finally

might even get the opportunity

basketball or football, since

after

had gained wis-

dom beyond my years. But even with all of the fun and of my international travels, I was looking forward to school full-time.

and

top

get to

a sports fan

to go out for

fast.

Unfortunately, the school serving the area where

I

lived

was not

106

Reallionaire

Our

within walking distance, and there was no school bus.

was brimming with young, on-the-go,

building

single professionals or

The

couples with non-school-age children.

young

other parents in this

upscale, high-rise area sent their children to private school because

the local public school was also attended by children from Cabrini

We

Green, the notorious housing project.

and public school was beginning

school,

than

was worth

it

couldn't afford private

more

to look like

trouble

—

especially since I'd have to take r^vo buses to get

there.

Kiki was the most logical choice for helping

While

I

was away

in Japan, she

had qualified

me

get to school.

for a scholarship to

attend a few classes in fashion design and pattern-making at a local school in the Merchandise Mart. "If I've gotta take Farrah to school,

rU be

and

late for school,

if

I'm

late,

1

could lose

my

scholarship,"

she announced one night at dinner.

That

left

Mom, who

by

this

time had become a ftill-fledged

workaholic, a beha\ior she'd learned not only from being the oldest in her family but also

from

wouldn't be able to see

me

raising her children single-handedly. oft to school.

wasnt getting any younger and completely into to keep us

this

that

s

new partnership,

She reminded

\\\\y she

to

had

toilets

that she

throw herself

have some kind of nest egg

ftom going back. Back where? The

Hunger? Leak}^

to

me

She

projects? Poverty?

and roaches?

Eventually Kiki came up with a solution. She had met a few

Loyola University graduate students

money

tutoring kids.

from where we

lived.

The

Mom

age requirement.

earning part-time

university was only seven blocks

and Kiki researched the

school rules and discovered that

minimum

who were

I

lite

home

was two years older than the

Mom's resume proved

degree based on her real-world

Illinois

away

she could earn a

experience, so the parent-teacher

Step

5:

Go

Know Where You Want

with the Flow ... But

was not an

qualification

issue.

Go

107

Creating a suitable environment I

could remember, our

office.

In a one-mile radius

wasn't an issue either because, as long as

apartment had been her convertible there were three universities,

to

two

colleges

and the main Chicago

Public Library, giving us a large pool of potential tutors and plenty

of books to choose from.

Mom

and

walked to each university placement center to post

I

our part-time opportunity. Within two days we'd received eleven telephone inquiries

—

We scheduled

from international students.

all

the appointments and invited the students to meet us at a restaurant near our apartment. rant because

I

already

I

knew

the

manager of the

restau-

had checked the place out and handed him

business card right after

returned from Japan.

I

He

my

didn't believe

that I'd actually lived in Japan for a

short while, until

I

showed him some

r

/

of my souvenirs, including

and old boarding

my passport passes from my

round-trip airline ticket

to

may

not

nrvtr^i amount

much, but at I

on JAL.

am

least

unique.

—Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Mom let me be the lead interviewer, so

it

became

my own little business meeting. After all,

who'd be spending hours with the chosen applicant.

met

all

of the students.

when

dent's face

I

can

still

remember

was the one

I

One by one we

the look

on each

One by

they saw us in the restaurant.

stu-

one, they'd

entered the doors and looked around for what I'm sure was a white family.

I

know

them scanned told

them

because

we

sat there

the place, never looking our

there

After the

this

would be

initial

and watched

as

each of

—even though we'd

way

three of us.

eleven interviews,

we had five

in particular stood out during her interview.

the daughter of a career diplomat.

callbacks.

One female

Henda, twenty-five, was

Her mother was

a Paris-born

108

Reallionaire

documentary film producer of Afirican descent who spoke

stride

resembled a runway models, and she had a great sense of

humor. She interest

languages

and Russian.

fluendy: English, French, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese

Her

six

didn't

need to work, and she

didn't

need the money. Her

was in doing something constructive with

a family because

she was getting homesick for family. If she weren't chosen she was

going to volunteer her time

The want

night after

at the

we met Henda

I

my mom

told

two languages

to learn to speak

& Girls Club.

Chicago Boys

like

Henda ing

too.

We

all

was

I

agreed.

never told

me

her extended family.

I

all

Mom

offer her the job.

it

I

on

said.

his

My

own.

I

and Kiki liked

The

next morn-

official.

saw our family

outright, but

I

was the

brother she didn't have, and

she took a deep interest in

and

a player too!

We'd

Mom called her and made

Henda as

to prove that

liked her. "I

Andre,"

brother had taught himself two Japanese dialects

was eager

I

my

little

learning

believe she

more about other

cultures

their languages.

She became more than

a tutor to

me; she became

a friend to

family, introducing Kiki to other students studying art

design at Loyola University.

my

and fashion

Our connection with Henda was

instrumental in opening up the path for Kiki to realize her dream

of going to the fashion capital of the world, helped Kiki get selected

as

Paris.

one of a fifty-member

Hendas

father

cultural exchange

student group to study the French language, culture, fashion, fine arts I

and photography

had

in Paris

—

all

on

scholarship.

a regular five-day- a-week school regime.

three days around her college schedule.

Mom

and

Kiki. After a

grade-level courses.

eager to get

NE

W

I

few weeks

I

other two days were for

was breezing through

was improving in

going.

The

Henda tutored me

all

areas of study,

my new

and

I

was

Step

5:

Go

with the Flow

"I can't

wait to start

She looked

at

Know Where You Want

But

me

my new business,"

like

I

had

a

I

companies

great

looked

at

work

to

Go

told

I

109

Henda one

horn growing out of

"Why would you want to start your own many

to

business

when

day.

my

head.

there are so

for?" she replied.

her like she had a horn growing out of her head!

my

couldn't believe

a Foreign Service

She grew up with a father

ears.

employee and

governmental organization

who worked

mother who worked

a

affiliated

in a

I

as

non-

with the United Nations. Her

university studies in public administration, she explained, were to

prepare her for

some type of

international government-related

assignment. She had zero appreciation for self-employment, and the American version of entrepreneurship baffled her. Sure, she

me

was tutoring

in the necessary

tary education, but that wasn't so

somebody

nine-to-five for to I

make

a job for

would manage

else.

I

Was

could go and slave away in a she crazy?

my own

pretty

business.

Her

was making plans

and

reaction both surprised I

knew Henda's

days as

much numbered.

She had become close enough to ends for dinner.

I

myself Instead of becoming a company executive,

disappointed me. After that conversation,

my tutor were

modules of elemen-

What

my

family to stop by on week-

she saw during those gatherings further

clouded her perception of entrepreneurship. She couldn't understand

why my

enterprises

family was so gung ho about launching our

when we could

barely afford to live where

we were

She'd heard of Mom's Chinese partner, Fiona, and

brother Andre was in

London

finalizing the trade

motion mission between professionals though

Mom

somehow

in

knew

Mom

living.

that

my

and business pro-

Tokyo and London. Even

spoke about her "partnership" with Fiona,

believed

own

Henda

"worked" for Fiona, and Andre was

employed by some big international company. In other words, she

110

Reallionaire

was under the impression they were mere employees. In an attempt

my family's stand on owning our own businesses, my photos taken while invTokyo and the souvenirs

to convince her of I

pulled out

in

my file

dealings.

Mom

all

box, items that

She was

still

Henda fine

say,

else,"

"Only

and

a fool

had she not been so vocal about

heard

that.

I

didn't care

it is,"

how bad

to limit our aspirations. That's

Henda had bought

to

which would have been "I don't

it.

starting a business

ing your head above water as

would work himself

couldn't have agreed more. But

I

refused to see us as entrepreneurs,

you can think about

an equal in his business

as

a nonbeliever.

was known to

death for someone

showed Andre

when you

she once said.

things were;

when

a light

understand

are barely keepI

fumed when

nobody had

came

how

I

the right

on.

into the hype. She was accustomed to seeing

black folks portrayed a certain

way in

the media, and she'd fallen for

those depictions hook, line and sinker. She'd heard about Cabrini

Green and the Robert Taylor drug dealing.

was not

It

visiting

was

me

a staple

project's violence,

on the nightly

gang

activity

local news. Yet

inside a housing authority high-rise.

and

Henda

Her

tutor-

ing was taking place in a nice, clean, security-guarded high-rise

building where she was greeted in the lobby by a genial doorman.

She was not walking into a place where she needed to clutch her purse or look over her shoulder every five seconds. So

understand

why

she wanted to hold

African Americans. one.

I

about

tried to tell

I

Alex and in Phoenix.

I

was frustrated and

Jonathan about

his girlfriend

on

of the week.

didn't talk

much

I

it,

I

I

couldn't

to those stereotypes of

needed

to talk to

some-

but he was too busy talking

couldn't get a

since he'd

moved

word

in edgewise.

in with

Grandma

Mom was rarely home, and Kiki wore an invisible "Do

Not Disturb"

sign

around her neck, so

I

didn't bother her too

Step

5:

Go

much.

with the Flow

I

.

.

But

.

Know Where You Want

was starting to hate the

tutor.

Even though Henda was an

in the

way of my

of my

home

learning.

home

we'd ever gotten

fact that

Deep down

I

wanted

venture of mine, which

you

once

later on," she

you about

I'll tell

What grown folks call depression, time of my

life.

me. Correction, they were hearing me. to

I

called the

my endless rants:

she asked,

"Would you

I

knew

Grandma

to

you

straight,

one

but

I'd

I

I

was sad

really listening to

think?"

listen

I

told her I'd

truth even if it's not

on placating

mama

feelings.

girl,

has to

She gave

let

I

your tutor

said. I

were kindred

spirits.

but she wasn't raised to be an independent sister

right

and brothers," Grandma continued. narrow

in her thinking."

on the money. Henda's world had always

consisted of butlers, maids and drivers. She grew

Her

and

don't think they were

I

Grandma and

"She's global in her travels but

well fed.

statement,

very smart and intellectual student, but she's

you and your

Grandma was

Her

but she never forced her opinions on anybody.

like a

"Henda's a nice

you won't have

later.

know what

wasn't big

it

for a future business

"Can you handle the

smiled into the phone.

thinker like

more

repeated myself a few times

not the right teacher for you, baby," she I

said.

home was

at

braced myself for the medicine. "Your

She sounds

so

kids call sadness,

listening,

like to

to hear?"

that

No

Grandma. After

what you want

go.

Mom to do

one person who was always willing to

love to hear her thoughts.

it

a

Mom had convinced herself that she had

though innocent, actually planted the seed

this

me

excellent teacher, her beliefs got

herself "I'm teleparenting

worry about anything

during

111

the bacon, eggs and toast for her family, even if

meant neglecting to

Go

schooling.

Unfortunately, by then to bring

to

up well bred and

goal was to go to college, get married

and have the

112

Reallionaire

number of

appropriate

grown up being driven

children. She'd

in

diplomatic vehicles to and from private school. She spoke multiple languages and mingled with other privileged children.

Grandma

homeroom

told

me

when

that

Mom

fifth

grade her

teacher took exception to her being well behaved and

well mannered.

"My

children went to school

deserved a good education," she said. ter thrift

was in the

knowing

Grandma shopped

that they at the bet-

shops to buy good-quality clothes so that her kids went to

school cleaned and pressed every day. "Your

exception to the

way

mamas

teacher took

she carried herself She had a lot of pride and

confidence."

According to Grandma, the teacher treated

of the that

class.

and

Before, during

after

homeroom

Mom pick up behind everyone else. continued the

as she

me

warned

that she

story.

Mom like the Cinderella she would

Grandma

demand

started to laugh

"One day your mama came home and

was going to be sent to the

principal's office

because she had had enough," she said.

Mom kept her word. A few days later the school called Grandma to request a meeting.

room said,

"When

I

walked into the room, the home-

teacher was surprised. 'Oh, you're her mother,' the teacher

her voice dripping with sarcasm." Before the teacher could

Grandma

speak.

said, "I

came

to

tell

you

that if you can't treat

my

daughter respectfully, please ignore her."

The

teacher was

ter cheats

room

as a

dumbfounded. "What do you mean? Your daugh-

on her homework. That

is

why she has

to clean

my home-

form of punishment."

"My daughter doesn't have to cheat to get good grades," Grandma told her.

The

teacher's reply sent

way your daughter can

Grandma through

get A's

the roof "There

on her homework and

tests

is

no

without

Step

5:

Go

with the Flow

But

Know Where You Want

on

cheating," she said. "You're

no way

There's

Grandma reiterated

she's

my

cannot respect

I

could

"Farrah,

me

left

feel

this well

when

said

Go

and the

welfare

113

father

is

in prison.

on her own."

from slapping Mom's

refrained

what she

words, she

doing

to

She simply

teacher.

she walked into the office. "If you

And

daughter, please ignore her."

with those

the office.

Grandma's temperature

what you have shared with

rise as

me

she recalled the story.

about your tutor reminded

of what your mother experienced. Sometimes teachers have

negative perceptions of the children sitting in their classrooms, and instead of encouraging them, they

sabotage their hopes. You can't ^ ^ she said. that happen to you," J

let

^,

.

There ^

to

Over the next few days ^

,

,

ts 1

only one success—

1

^

^

I

tn

I

allow someone

home and

My

squash

who knew nothing

my dreams?

mind was made

my surprise, I

Christopher Morley

How could

up.

I

I

she agreed.

couldn't.

I

I

to

come

into

my

wouldn't. to

Mom

after

I

spoke

thought would be best for me. To

We were no

had challenged her core

me

about

would speak

openly with Henda about what

other.

—

^

Grandma's comments.

longer a good match for each

beliefs,

which she admitted had

caused her to resent me. She suggested that she stay in contact with

my

family to be something other than

screen potential tutors.

"And

I'll

my

be sure to

tutor.

tell

She offered to

them

that they are

being paid to provide tutoring, not advice about what you're going to

do with your

future," she said. Finally,

Henda and

I

were agree-

ing on something.

my

family with the old recurring ques-

"What do we do with

Farrah?" There were no college or

Henda's departure tion,

left

i.^

life

your own way

thought long and hard about ^

^

be able to spend your

114

Reallionaire

university students calling about filling the vacancy

and

was quite happy about

I

of my

that.

Now,

new business endeavors up and

now off-limits

to potential detractors,

I'd

left:

by Henda,

have time to get some

runoiing.

My self-esteem was

and no trespassing would be

allowed!

My experience born with to

with

a silver

come me on

Henda had

spoon

my

in

a silver platter.

other people's

expectations.

want nobody

it

to give

to

work

with

that,

would have was

fine

Brown was famous

me

I

wasn't

mouth, and success wasn't going

I

I

legendary soul singer James don't

reaffirmed two things:

nothing.

Open up

to

overcome

because

as

for saying,

"I

the door,

I'll

get

myself"

The Most Important Decision of My I

Life

was always the kind of kid who questioned most things around

Why did

me.

outfit?

Why

most

television

anchormen and women wear

the

same

were all of the presidents of the United States white men?

Could clouds he touched, and ifso, did they feel like cotton? These were the kinds of questions that days.

So naturally

mouths of

adults.

roamed around

my

in

brain on most

questioned the words that came out of the

I

One axiom

me

in particular puzzled

longest time. "April showers bring

May flowers." What

for the

was

that?

think there was even a song about those showers and flowers. interpreted

old

when

I

it

to

mean "What

hurts can also help."

able to get to school

brother Andre,

on

later

was ten years

figured that one out.

In this case, the April showers

there

I

I

I

who

a business

—came

invited

me

—

losing

my

tutor

with a familiar to live with

promotion mission

him

for six

and not being

May in

flower

London.

—my

He was

months. His duties

Step

Go

5:

with the Flow

Know Where You Want

But

Go

to

115

included finalizing export deals with U.K.-based

medium-sized businesses interested in expanding

and

small

their operations

into the Japanese market.

London meant many

Li\ing in

young

challenges for a

Mom.

Chief among them was the painful price of missing all,

was the baby of the

I

mom.

was hard

It

being so

my

away from

far

enterprising

me

for

short

attached to

my

would be

like

life

had one sa\ing

still

I

had an appetite

life

fast. I

lay in

and how much

my

grace:

my

for entrepreneurship, but

Somehow it

bed one night thinking back on

stay.

Mom was about to reap her just rewards for

felt like

of those years of struggling.

her.

I

only wished

we

dreaded day arrived,

1

was happy

moved

London.

Mom

^e

were

all

sta^tdng in

our departure times

just

can

still

remember

elevator at our in

fact,

I

Mom's can't

with Grandma.

much

I

had

were going to

Mom

travel.

had planned

hours apart on the same day so

all

we could

the sadness

apanment.

eyes.

I

of her children.

I

can

remember

remember

I

still

felt as

that because

ever seeing her shed

difficult for her to

we

all

see the tears

young. She didn't want us to worr\' about

was too

and

.\lex

airpon together to save money. Plus, she wanted to be

able to say good-bye to I

live

Chicago, although she was rarely

there because her job required so

travel to the

going to different locations.

there earlier in the year. Kiki

was

and proud of

for her

didn't have to live so far apart. Finally, the

Jonathan was headed to PhoenLx to already

my

Mom had sacrificed to make sure we had

food to eat and a place to

up

ver}-

.After

dream of forming another entrepreneiu* club any time soon

was fading

all

but

was

I

about what

to think

her,

spirit. I still

and

family,

boy.

stepped onto the

beginning to well

Mom

many her.

hide her emotions.

rarely cried. In

tears

But on

We were

when

I

was

this day, all

it

going to

116

Reallionaire

The same elevator we'd months event.

could

all

sense

it

hit us

like a

all

ton of potatoes.

taken on a more joyous occasion a few

all

now

was

earlier

We

And

of the world.

different parts

more somber

the transportation for a

was our

it

our apartment. But what was next?

last elevator ride to

When would we

and from

see each other

again and under what circumstances?

As we rode excitement

to the airport in the taxi,

I felt

when we moved

mind flashed back to iting in

and other

Now I

high-rise

new neighborhood.

My

planned on

vis-

of the tourist attractions

downtown Chicago,

Tower indoor

I'd

including the movies in the big Water

shopping mall near where Oprah Winfrey

rich people lived.

had

to give

Once more,

ers.

all

into our

was reminded of the

I

my dream

and was hurting

watch her children

were necessary. But

of summer fun with

my broth-

be going to the other side of the world.

Mom

already missing she'd have to

I'd

up

Mom

leave.

for her, I

knowing

wondered

if

I

was

that soon

the sacrifices

always said the only thing that enabled

her to whistle while she worked twenty hours a day was the joy she felt

in being able to provide for us.

Soon

it

was our turn

to

board our plane. After the

tears,

Mom

gave

love you.

More

importantly,

and

positive side of It

was

The

taller.

Once we

all left

trust that

I

hugs

some warm parting words, you

will land

on

"I

the

face."

each other, our individual and col-

The

physical changes

would be obvi-

next time we'd see each other, Jonathan and

I

would be

Alex and Jonathan would be flexing the growing muscles in

their arms. Kiki

would be

have a few gray

hairs.

said

Kiki

any changes and challenges you

worlds would change.

lective

ous.

true.

me and

kisses,

all

a

maturing young woman.

Change.

It

was

inevitable, just

those years. There wasn't anything

I

Mom might as Mom had

could do to stop the

Step

Go

5:

with the Flow

But

Know Where You Want

my new

changes taking place, so

to

Go

117

motto was simply "Go with the

flow."

As soon

as

the plane took flight, Kiki pulled out her tote bag and

reached for two paperback books: the Berlitz

self-teacher

If you can't accept

French and a

in

losing,

French phrase book and dictionary.

Our

you

—^'"^^ Lombardi

cousin, Briscoe, taught himself to

speak French

some

pointers

rarely talks

He

fluently.

on how to

gave Kiki

on your own. Kiki s

learn

make

beginnings you never at a certain

with one

when you come from humble

Does Farrah have the life?

Who

are.

Farrah?

is

able or unrealistic?" So

Farrah's

much

and

spend some time

to

What

does Farrah want?

aspirations to achieve his

dreams consist

for

this

of listening to the conver-

you might want

talents, abilities

What do

She started

tasks accomplished.

final suggestion, "Instead

who you

dreams in

is

time because of the basic challenges you face

sations of the other passengers,

exploring

she

plans to accomplish anything or be

most basic

getting even the flight

know

who

by the profound comments she makes. Like the

time she explained that sometimes

anywhere

a quiet bird

about what's on her mind, but you always

in deep thought

can't win.

watching the

of?

Are they achiev-

in-flight

movie and

drinking soda after soda!

According to Kiki of self

I

New

things

had

first. I

for

me

truly

Early Entrepreneur

to find out

Without knowing I

was time

to acquire a

little

knowledge

had dreams of becoming that twenty-first-century

and forming

ever

it

that,

wanted

to

I

become

respectable success as a kid

Wonders (NE^W), but

who I was and what I was

would have

in this lifetime.

UNEEC.

accomplishment. But Kiki explained that by

out what-

had experienced

I I

first

really about.

difficulty in figuring

by forming

CEO

was proud of that

really

knowing myself

118

Reallionaire

I'd

be able to renew and reinvent myself for every change and chal-

lenge

I

would

searching I

once and

man. I

I

my life.

would come

I

made

face in

a

to

all,

that

decided that

really

I

my

knew that

everything

afraid

go for

I

decisions

and

attitude

would never do anything

Lombardi

know what I was made of

number of important

for

to

In other words, through serious soul-

on

that flight.

was going to be a business-

truly

would always be

my

my

always given to me.

in this case, that

didn't believe in just to earn a dollar.

I

how

to win.

family and the

decided that

I

And most importantly, It

meant products

what my business needed needed

what I knew. And

to

for kids

and

teens.

realized

I

and

Hours

teens. In hindsight,

later,

was the smartest have

I

and only minutes

was cool,"

"It

meant

"I

I

said.

inside your head!

Not

the airplane ride."

I have ever made.

That was Sometimes

to discover themselves, but in to

And

knew.

the trip had been.

and most important one

Chicago

I

my busi-

before our plane landed at Heat-

the smartest

grateful to her.

what

hrow Airport, Kiki asked me how

kids

In hindsight, this

was

give

ever made.

to

in this case,

meant products for

was

wasn't

would

and most important one

be about

that

I

needed to be about what

Most importantly, I realized

I

I

I

community because they had

this last decision

ing.

and that

dreams. Legendary football coach Vince

ness needed to be about.

last decision

positive

told his teams that if they couldn't stand losing, they'd

back to both

It

decided,

touched would not turn to gold, but

never truly understand

be about.

I

my

it

potential wandering in the wilderness.

Always think-

takes people half a lifetime

case,

London. Kiki had helped

Kiki.

it

me

was

a plane ride

from

shave off thirty years of

Step

Go

5:

with the Flow

But

Know Where You Want

A Budding When we looking

Go

119

Samurai

London, Andre met us

at

the gate.

He was

sharp and strong as ever. "Can't beUeve you're here," he

as

"Maybe one day

said. It

arrived in

to

we'll all

be together again."

was obvious we were in another part of the world. The airport

and the

design, the signs, the people,

nothing that almost

all

airport

I

I

had ever seen

before. In the

the people were Japanese

and uniforms were

outfits

Tokyo Narita

and Asian. But

in the

airport

Heathrow

saw every member of the global family represented. There

were dozens of foreign languages being spoken.

Once we were black boxes

on wheels,

The weather, but

it

like

was summertime

flat is

something out of a James Bond movie.

rainy and muggy, reminded

was cloudy and

"Our

outside the airport the taxicabs looked like big

chilly.

in

me of Chicago

in the

fall,

London. There was no sunshine, and

Once

inside the taxicab

heard Andre

I

it

say,

located ..."

My face contorted.

"Flat?

What's a

flat?"

"An apartment, Farrah," he answered. I

remember thinking

ment.

And

that

that

was a strange thing

was only the beginning. "What

to call an apart-

are those circles in

the middle of streets?"

"Those

are roundabouts,"

he

said.

"Roundabouts? What's a roundabout doing in the middle of a major

street intersection?"

Upon asked

if

arriving at the three-story red brick building, the driver

we needed

But before vator.

I

see

I

you

help up the

lift.

"What's a

?" .

.

.

could finish the question Andre answered, "An haven't changed.

he said laughing. "That's good."

Still

ele-

asking a million questions,"

120

Reallionaire

Thankfully,

British-English.

ment came

way to

a

at

That was

My eyes were

lit

the size

I'd

with

my own

was

I

briefcase.

was nine years old and about to

The journey from

me

for personal

tourist magazines.

me

to break

I

it

in,

But was

my third country in five

live in

the projects to the high rise to

London

can say that those years were prepar-

and professional

reallionaire success plan. Part

success.

And most

important,

what has become

my

of that plan involves adapting to

change. There had been a lot of change in

my short life,

and things

just getting started.

As and

equipped

in the freezer for too long.

the journey was laying the foundation for

were

fully

at

dream of becoming the

that

CEO wouldn't be

hadn't always been rosy, but

ing

and big

Maybe

bedroom with

The room was

In the corner, just waiting for

all.

twenty-first-century

years.

to sharing a

in shock.

television, desk, chair

brand-new black

I

adjust-

"How do you like your own bedroom?" of egg yolks. I had not expected to have my

grown accustomed

one other person.

a

from Japan. Another big

bedroom.

least

that wasn't

a switch

my brother's flat. He directed me down a narrow hall-

dimly

own room.

was familiar with the dominant language of the

I

I

walked around

fixtures,

passenger atrists

tell

does

it

I

my new

home, checking out the

remembered thinking back

another on the

way

to

furniture

to a joke I'd heard

London.

"How many

take to change a lightbulb?" he'd asked.

one

psychi-

"Only one,

but the lightbulb has to want to change!"

The back

female influence in our immediate family unit can be traced

several generations.

Their extraordinary values, work ethic and

principles impacted generations to follow. believed,

and taught

us, that if you don't

top, the sheet will not

fit

at

My mom

and grandma

make your bed

the bottom.

right at the

They always spoke

their

Step

Go

5:

with the Flow

But

Know Where You Want

minds and were not given Vocal and vibrant,

King Jr. was known

composed and

and Grandma

same way. So did

my

me

taught

the

surrogate father.

exposure to the world,

as well as

my

Michelangelo

Shakespeare wrote."

who was

.\ndre,

took

life as

me a

under

his

Mom

given the

wing and

young black man. His

our family s seemingly Bedouin

appetite for future travels.

As demanding spend

as

more prosperous emironments, would

tendencies to always seek

whet

as

He

knew about

ever}T:hing he

to have said, 'If a person

he should s^veep them

painted, as Beethoven

task of being

121

to retractions or recanting their opinions.

streets for a U\ing,

felt

Go

Mom commanded us to be the best at everything.

Dr. Martin Luther

sweeps

to

as his job

office sat in the heart

which was

me

time with

qualit}^

made an

was, i\ndre always

effort to

every day. His Japanese employers

of the global business center, Trafalgar Square,

ver}^ accessible to

museums, cinema

screens, Piccadilly

Circus and restaurants with cuisines from ever}^ countr}' in the

We

world.

mode

often traveled on the underground, a transportation

The

daily trek

faces

and

life

or

New York

similar to

on

and Chicago's subway and

me

on the underground allowed

wider range of people than

observ^e a

train system.

to look into the

I'd

ever seen in real

television.

Andre had

also

introduced

me

to less (at least

on the

surface)

business-oriented interests, such as sports. His natural athleticism

seemed

to

rub off when we went to

which means he took fault

when

I

the credit

all

a

diamond

when

arts.

they were

excelled

and assumed no

stunk up the place.

Most important, though, Andre was martial

I

or basketball court,

He

ver}^

my

ver\^ first

exposure to

started taking karate classes with our cousin

young.

I

photo album with Andre

remembered seeing in his gi, the

when

pictures in a family

uniform jacket and pants

122

Reallionaire

worn by Fast as the wind; quiet as the

r

^

Jforest; aoQvessive

rerers

as fire; and J

immovable as a mountain. —Samurai

battle

man. as

a

Gi

also

i

nice ,

and

white r

,

a nice

•

the rancy jacket,

^

slogan

—

artists.

r

the

shirts l

•

i_

Japanese wear arter business hours

metaphor

•

i

the

at

monies

l ,

pants

'

'

to

martial

i

bar

sushi

for his dual role as

or

tea

mentor and business-

A samurai battle banner hung in his bedroom that read,

the wind; quiet as the forest; aggressive as

mountain." That's what

wanted

I

to be

cere-

fire;

when

I

"Fast

and immovable

as

grew up.

In London, the martial arts culture was as diversified as the city

Twice

itself

me

a

week,

we

decide what style

on

sat in

would

different schools, or dojos, to help

best

my

fit

esting martial

form was

Angola, where

my tutor Henda was

temperament.

One

called capoeira. Its origin can be traced to

born and raised before attend-

ing Loyola University in Chicago. Another martial art

which

is

very similar to karate.

jujitsu master,

heard

what

this

word

exactly

He

I

inter-

One day during

interrupted

I

jujitsu,

an interview with a

noticed that he kept referring to so finally

is

him and

my ki. said,

I

had never

"Excuse me,

is kP.''

smiled warmly and told

cultivating an extraordinary

me

that ki in Japan was a process of

form of personal power. In the English

language the equivalent definitions are inner strength, energy,

and

force, aura, spirit

me

of

when

my

sister

vitality.

and took

she had urged

to other passengers

me

me

This definition

back to the

to stop wasting time

on the plane and

life

somehow reminded

flight over to

London

watching and listening

to look within myself to find

myself

Whenever Kiki

spoke, her words were always deeply rooted in

wisdom and wrapped

in a lighthearted, positive spirit. Like

mother and grandmother,

she's

my

always exuded a strong healthy

Step

Go

5:

with the Flow

But

Know Where You Want

no touch of

sense of self with

you spend ten minutes with

ego.

hope

I

her.

her, you'll feel the

123

warmth

I've

one

day. If

in her heart.

always loved that

me the importance of being authen-

She impressed upon

the necessity of keeping

tic,

Go

to get there

What's inside of her seems to just ooze out. about

to

Most important, she was

it real.

teach-

me how to learn from the inside out. When I told Andre the story about the jujitsu interview, he laughed. "Farrah, you never knew why mother named Kiki, did ing

your

him

told

I

didn't have clue.

I

He

leaned back on the sofa and

"When Mama was

flashed a smile wider than the Atlantic Ocean.

months pregnant and

three

I

was carrying

my baby sister."

"How

know

"I

he

did you

could

feel

that?"

I

told her that she

asked.

I

her energy and

old,

spirit.

Some

things

you

just

know,"

said.

What

me

he told

this day. "In

to

was three years

her

fifth

next amazed

month,

me

then and

still

amazes

me

to

Mom that the baby wanted me

I

told

I

couldn't believe

her something."

tell

"The baby

you

told

this?"

my ears.

"She said she wanted to be called Kiki." I

smiled.

He nodded

his head. "That's

where she got her name?"

"Yep. She was Kiki before she was born."

Those kinds of family and

best friends

who

this, it

breaks

way

I

first

teachers

my brothers and sister. They were also my first meet people throughout my travels, especially

I

aren't sure if their parents love

my

heart because

was treated and taught.

my home

my spirit. My

were

imprints of love.

youth,

stories fueled

was truly

I

knew

I've since

special. It wasn't

I

them. Whenever

I

hear

was loved because of the

learned that what

I

happening everywhere.

had

in

124

Reallionaire

What was happening in my life

my young sions, art,

but

manhood. Andre was ready explained to

I

him

that

philosophy or discipline.

real experiences that

time was

at the

I

First

for

me

this

unfolding of

make some

to

deci-

wasn't ready to choose a martial I

had

to stop

were beginning to shape

and

reflect

on

the

my thinking. My first

was to observe and understand the importance of being

priority

rooted in the reality of

me

things that connected

all

to both

my

family and culture.

Second,

I

wanted

to read

more about the samurai

Zen, Taoism, Buddhism and Confucianism, phies I'd

become acquainted with during

Third,

I

spirit, tai chi,

Eastern philoso-

all

my stint

in Japan.

needed to identify those ingredients that would

cultivate

my spirituality. I

began to spend

many

hours in

my bedroom

and thinking. There would be days that as the eye

I

would

was

lot

about

of

my

first

time

great-grandmother, who's

up, Andre, Kiki

much

suffered

on

and

my

Bris

as quiet

I'd

still

met him

very

much

were called "The Trio," the

mother's side of the family.

inseparable. Bris

was an extremely

from asthma and severe

reader and artist

who would doodle

notepad. Bris said he remembered

and

bed

my routine, but it was by my cousin, Bris. I'd

but unfortunately, the

three grandchildren

were pretty

who

in

spirit.

Growing first

Bris,

at the funeral

with us in

lie

of the hurricane. This had become

about to be disrupted ... in a good way, heard a

reading, writing

insightful,

which

led

him

to

allergies.

sickly child

He was

for hours with his

me

as a

They

an avid

pen and

toddler being curious

nickname

me

the

"little

one-

hundred-year-old man."

During

stay

his

hours talking.

I

in

London, he and Andre stayed up

for

was too young to understand every aspect of the

Step

5:

Go

with the Flow

conversation, but

went

ears

Bris

to

bed

But

I still

Know Where You Want

absorbed quite a

Go

belt.

in classes for strengthening exercise. arts,

he also took

Instead of succumbing to his to strengthen his spirit.

bit. Let's just

Over the

command

years he not only

of his physical health.

He became a voracious reader and a student

Then he would proceed

just never

wanna make Bris

My

sure

I

he's

going to

a gentle giant

humble opinion." his extensive

mother used

was around, she always had

know what

my

still

you down with

to break

vocabulary and thought processes. Bris

to say that

say," she'd say, laughing. "I

can follow the conversation."

clopedic rants, and his

visits

always

left

his ency-

me richer and fuller with

inherent understanding of the natural duality that exists in

me

see that, in the

words of one of

"Nothing too good or too bad I

"You

a dictionary nearby.

was very cool when we gave him a hard time about

helped

my

he turned inward and learned

frailties,

always began speaking by saying "in

whenever

say that

His mother had enrolled him

of life. Bris had a commanding presence but was

who

125

full.

was a fourth-degree black

mastered martial

to

lasts

my

life.

an

He

favorite sayings,

too long." In a very short time,

understood the bond that he'd developed with Kiki and Andre

because call

him

now I was

my fourth

a part of their special connection.

To

London. This included some sightseeing tours and event with

some of Andre's

Andre was introduced

who

I

brother.

Before Bris continued in his travels, Andre showed

ity

this day,

to a

him around

a black tie char-

business acquaintances. At the event,

group of young, business-sawy

were scouting out a promising partner to join their

Their plans were to establish an independent record brother's experience bridged three worlds

—

Brits teaxH.

label.

My

the United States, Japan

and the United Kingdom. Soon, Andre was caught up

in

a

126

Reallionaire

whirlwind of "get-acquainted" meetings that eventually ended in a

meeting with heavyweight boxing champion Lennox Lewis and

younger brother, Dennis.

Andre taught me Successful people are

\

that

relationships

known

competitors are copping

Z's.

And

Lewis's

at

Emmanuel

built

in

a

day.

wee hours while

their

aren't

to toil into the

even though nothing came of

that initial meeting with Lewis, their paths later

his

would

cross again a year

new boxing

contract signing with his

trainer

Steward, the premier trainer in the sport. Mr. Steward

masterminded

Lewis's

up

title

until his retirement in February

2004.

Whenever he had an important meeting, Andre would me,

"You'll be there, but

seat

me

at a

you won't be

nearby table so that

ing business.

One

night

empty phone booth

I

gone

I'd

there." This

to the restroom

decided

it

was nice

must paint, a poet

must write

if

be

is

to

be

be,

one must

I

be.

just

where Andre had seated

let

a

her go.

few days since I

couldn't.

I

unaware that Andre and rant looking for me.

I'd

was

me

for

even though

know was

that

It

when

I

also thinking

a

young boy missing I'd

his

been gone from the

more than twenty minutes.

It

Mom, and I didn't want to on about my life, completely

spoken to rattling

his friends

Mom

Mom,

wasn't homesick for Chicago,

mama.

had been

was time to reach

of me.

—Abraham Maslow table

to

called her, she

ulti-

mately at peace with himself.

What one can

With

she was six hours behind us.

musician must make music, artist

and noticed an

directly outside the restaurant front door.

out and touch

an

that he'd

could eat while he was conduct-

my prepaid calling card in my pocket I A

meant

say to

sounded

had been scouring the like business

restau-

was going

well.

Step

5:

but

I

Go

with the Flow

could

tell

But

Know Where You Want

Go

to

127

that she really missed her children.

around here," she

said.

Sometimes

silence

is

so quiet

"It's

more deafening than

noise.

where me.

Mom

wasn't until

It

realized

sunken so deep into the red phone booth that Andre almost

didn't see

me when

he walked

he swung the door

by. Frantically,

open, wearing an expression of panic and relief incident highlighted

each other. tight,

I

was and that he probably thought someone had abducted

I

I'd

asked, "Where's Andre?" that

It

how much

we

time

all

The phone booth

had been away from

confirmed that even though our family bond was

we'd also been stretched to the limits.

Were we

sacrificing

family for the sake of business?

That incident

in the

business a few years businesses

I

phone booth

later.

As

understood, and

I

led indirectly to a successful

said before, I'd decided to focus

my

experience in

London taught me

that long-distance calls could be a lifesaver for kids parents,

whether

it

was themselves or

on

away from

their parents

on the

their

road.

Long-distance rates were outrageous back then, and some families didn't even have long-distance service

to

on

their phones.

It

was

me that we needed a calling card that made it easy for kids

tact their parents.

Remember,

this

hadn't yet hit big in America

clear

to con-

was 1994, and calling cards

—but

they were everywhere in

London! That's why a little worldly perspective can go a long way.

The heights by great

men

developed a partnership with

reached and kept were not

Stephen LaChapelle, an executive

attained by sudden flight, but

I

at

a

pany

telecommunications comcalled

WorldTel.

I

met

Stephen through one of Andre's business

acquaintances.

After

they,

while their companions

slept,

were

toiling

upward

in the night —Henry Wadsworth

Longfellow

128

Realliomiire

him about

to say kids'

products —

my niche

talking with

^we

marketing ideas

came up with

which offered young people prepaid chain necklaces so they could

home

son's

Kidztel nity is

call

a business

way

a product called Kidztel,

calling cards

from

—

on key chains and

pay phone or another per-

a

in case of emergency.

phone

and school

cards were ultimately sold nationwide as

fundraisers, but

one of

my

commu-

favorite Kidztel stories

out of this world. In 1947, aliens were suspected to have crashed

New

Roswell,

in

Mexico. With Stephen's son,

cofo under of the Roswell Alien Life

Form

Stephen wanted to promote unity tured

me

with

his

son

as the faces

bration of the Roswell event.

product called the

the races, so he fea-

fiftieth

anniversary cele-

We decided to join forces

UFO Museum

—

for the calling card

to

market a

Calling Card, targeted to teens

We used the Roswell event as the backdrop

and tweens. centerpiece

(R.A.L.F.) Kids Club.

among

of the

became the

I

promotion.

I

—more

like

appeared on the

cover of the July 2 Roswell Daily Record inflating a fifteen-foot alien to

open the Roswell

see

UFO

Encounter six-day

festival.

Now,

any UFOs, but that doesn't mean the experience

change fifty

In

my

This one-day event resulted in

life.

sales

I

didn't

didn't help

of more than

thousand calling cards during the July Fourth weekend.

March 1995, Andre was extended an

boxing match in

Bristol,

England.

A

invitation to attend a

young light-heavyweight

Norwegian boxer named Ole Klemetsen was being trained Detroit at the

Steward and to join

Kronk

his

them

would be cute

Gym

founded by Emmanuel Steward. Mr.

entourage invited Andre and the

for dinner before the

to ask

"Who do you

rest

of our family

match. Someone thought

me, the ten-year-old, for a prediction.

think'll

win

in

it,

Farrah?"

it

Step

I

5:

Go

with the Flow

But Kno%\'

\