Polyvagal Card Deck 9781324019763

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PRACTICES CALM

and

for

CHANGE

DEB DANA

POCKET-SIZED POLYVAGAL

CONCEPTS AND PROMPTS These cards will enhance your understanding of your nervous

system as well as guide you through a process of tuning into it.

Grouped into four areas representing three sections of the autonomic hierarchy—ventral, sympathetic, and dorsal—as well as a bonus section exploring play, stillness, and change, the cards provide nervous system support...in your pocket.

DEB DANA, LCSW, is the leading clinical translator of Stephen Porges’s influential Polyvagal Theory. Her many polyvagal-themed

books are beloved by both clinicians and clients alike.

WWNORTON.COM I (aWWNORTON

PRACTICES

CALM

and

for

CHANGE

POLYVAGAL CARD DECK DEB DANA

Important Note: POLYVAGAL CARD DECK is intended to provide general information on the subject of health and well-being; it is not a substitute for medical or psycholog­ ical treatment and may not be relied upon for purposes of diagnosing or treating any illness. Please seek out the care of a professional healthcare provider if you are experiencing symptoms of any potentially serious condition.

Copyright © 2022 by Deb Dana All rights reserved Printed in China First Edition

For information about permission to reproduce selections from this book, write to Permissions, W. W. Norton & Company, Inc., 500 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY 101 10 For information about special discounts for bulk purchases,

please contact W. W. Norton Special Sales at [email protected] or 800-233-4830 Printed in China through Asia Pacific Offset Card deck design by Lauren Graessle Production manager: Katelyn MacKenzie

ISBN: 978-1-324-01976-3 W. W. Norton & Company, Inc., 500 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10110 www.wwnorton.com

W. W. Norton & Company Ltd., 15 Carlisle Street, London W1D 3BS 1234567890

INTRODUCTORY

OVERVIEW The autonomic nervous system not only controls our vital body functions but also is at the heart of our daily experience. It

influences how we live, love, and work; it guides the way we move through the world. With the development of Polyvagal

Theory, Stephen Porges reconceptualized how the vagus nerve works. He identified a ventral vagal branch that supports regula­ tion and a dorsal vagal branch that triggers immobilization and

disconnection. This updated understanding of the autonomic nervous system outlines three response pathways: sympathetic "fight and flight," dorsal “shut down and collapse,” and ventral regulation. When we are anchored in regulation, we move through our days with a sense of safety and successfully meet

the ordinary challenges of life. These cards use the principles of Polyvagal Theory as a roadmap

to regulation. The deck has four sections: ventral, sympathetic, dorsal, and the relationship between these states. Six bonus

cards further explore play, stillness, and change.

Review the introductory cards and then choose a card from the area of autonomic response you wish to explore, or pick a card at random, and follow the practice.

INTRODUCTORY

IMPORTANT CONCEPTS Hierarchy The autonomic nervous system is built with three basic pathways of response—ventral, sympathetic, and dorsal—that we move

between in a predictable order called the autonomic hierarchy.

Each pathway brings its own set of thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and bodily experiences. Ventral, at the top of the hierarchy,

is a place of well-being where we are regulated and ready to engage. When a moment feels too big and overwhelms us,

we move down the hierarchy into sympathetic fight and flight.

If this doesn’t help, we land at the bottom of the hierarchy

in dorsal collapse. We regularly travel this hierarchy as we navigate the challenges of daily living.

Neuroception Neuroception, coined by Polyvagal Theory developer Stephen

Porges, describes how our autonomic nervous system takes in information. This inner, subconscious surveillance system gath­ ers information through three pathways: within our bodies, in

the world around us, and in our connections to others. Through neuroception, we are continuously broadcasting and receiving messages of welcome and warning. In response to the informa­

tion we receive via neuroception, we move from state to state

along the autonomic hierarchy.

I INTRODUCTORY

THREE STATES Ventral,

at the top of the autonomic hierarchy, is the system

of connection. The ventral state is essential for health and

well-being. In this state we feel grounded, organized, and ready to meet the day. Life feels manageable—we see options, have

hope, and hear new stories. We connect to ourselves, to others, to the world around us, and to spirit. We are regulated and ready to engage.

Sympathetic,

down one step on the hierarchy, is a system

of mobilization. In its everyday function, it helps regulate heart

and breath rhythms and brings us energy to move through the day. In its survival role, it activates pathways of fight and flight

and pulls us into anger and anxiety.

Dorsal

is at the bottom of the hierarchy. In its everyday role

it regulates digestion and brings nutrients to nourish us. When active in a survival role, it becomes a system of shutdown. We feel drained, without enough energy to engage with the world.

We collapse, disconnect, and disappear.

INTRODUCTORY

DEB DANA DEB DANA,

LCSW, is a clinician, consultant, and author who

lectures internationally on how Polyvagal Theory informs work

with trauma survivors. Deb’s work shows how Polyvagal Theory applies to relationships, mental health, and trauma and how we

can use the organizing principles of Polyvagal Theory to change

the way we navigate our daily lives. Deb is well known for translating Polyvagal Theory into a lan­ guage and an application that are both understandable and

accessible—for clinicians and curious people alike. She is the au­ thor of Polyvagal Exercises for Safety and Connection and The

Polyvagal Theory in Therapy, as well as the Polyvagal Flip Chart, all available from W. W. Norton & Company, Inc.

INTRODUCTORY

STEPHEN W. PORGES STEPHEN W. PORGES

is the creator of Polyvagal Theory.

Dr. Porges first outlined his theory in his presidential address

at the annual meeting of the Society for Psychophysiological Research in 1994. His address was then published in the

society's journal, Psychophysiology, in 1995. Dr. Porges has

continued to elaborate and expand the theory in articles, books,

and lectures. Since its introduction, Polyvagal Theory has been

referenced in thousands of peer-reviewed research articles and has been incorporated into the clinical work of thousands of therapists around the world.

Dr. Porges’s development of Polyvagal Theory offers a way

to understand the neurophysiological systems that guide

our daily living and has greatly influenced the practice of psychotherapy.

SYMPATHETIC

I

RANT TO RELEASE Concept When we are caught in the overwhelming energy of a sympa­

thetic survival state, we need to find a way to safely release some energy. We often turn to language, both spoken and writ­ ten, to express our anger and anxiety. While ranting is usually

described as a lengthy and loud complaint, when we create our own rules for ranting, we can experience a regulating release.

Prompt A rant can be written or spoken. Sometimes you want to rant in private, and other times you want to rant to someone and receive a response. The only rules are that you release sympa­

thetic energy in a way that is not destructive and moves you toward regulation. Experiment with different ways to rant. Iden­ tify the elements that contribute to a regulating rant for you.

Tip Ranting doesn’t solve the problem that took you into a sympa­

thetic survival state, but it does help you release enough energy so you can find your way to regulation. From a state of regu­

lation you regain perspective, can see clearly, and can explore options.

SYMPATHETIC

REACH FOR REGULATION Concept In a sympathetic survival state we are flooded with disorganized,

uncontrollable energy. We need to move and hope the action we take will help us find our way back to ventral regulation. The

act of reaching, of stretching your arm to grasp something is a way to organize the energy and move toward regulation.

Prompt Picture regulation as something you can reach for, and exper­ iment with different ways to grasp it. Imagine stretching your arms in different directions, finding regulation, and holding on

to it. Experiment with making those movements. Notice what

happens and listen to the story that accompanies the reach.

Tip Find a method that consistently lets you experience reaching for and holding on to a bit of regulation. Practice using it as a visual­

ization for times when it’s not possible to enact the movement, and practice bringing it to life through an actual reach.

SYMPATHETIC

CHANGE THE EQUATION Concept Our sympathetic survival response comes to life when the

signs of danger we are experiencing outweigh the signs of safety. We can look at the relationship between safety and

danger as an equation to work with. To tip the balance toward

safety, we need to reduce or resolve signs of danger and

connect with signs of safety.

Prompt

O

Remember a moment when you were pulled into a

sympathetic survival response.

Q First note all the signs of danger you find in that memory, and then the signs of safety that were present but that you

may have missed in the moment.

0

Consider how you might reduce or remove signs of danger

and attend to signs of safety when you experience

a sympathetic survival response in the future.

Tip We naturally pay more attention to signs of danger and often miss signs of safety that are present. You can use this practice to look back on an experience you want to better understand or to plan for an upcoming event you're worried about. (You can also

use this to explore a dorsal experience.)

SYMPATHETIC

CALM UP Concept Rather than thinking about calming down, imagine moving

up from sympathetic to ventral. Calming up is a process of organizing sympathetic energy so that it changes from an

overwhelming flood to an energizing flow.

Prompt Reflect on a situation that pulled you into the survival energy of your sympathetic system. Bring your awareness to the sensations in your body evoked by this memory.

Invite an image to illustrate the experience. See what colors ap­ pear. Create a statement that describes the moment.

Now imagine making a small change to the image or state­

ment that moves you out of feeling caught in chaotic, disorganized energy and toward engaging with the ener­

gy in a purposeful way. For example, try different shades of colors, change a word in your statement, or add a new element

to your image.

The goal is not to shut off the energy but, rather, to engage with it and begin the move upward toward regulation.

Tip When you’re pulled into a sympathetic moment, make a small change and track what happens. Keep making changes that move you in the direction of regulation.

SYMPATHETIC

HEADING INTO THE STORM Concept We travel the sympathetic pathways of anger and anxiety as our nervous system attempts to keep us safe while managing the

challenges of daily life. When we learn to recognize the signs that we are heading into "fight” or "flight” survival energy, we are

better able to change course.

Prompt Get to know the ways your fight and flight pathways come to life. Notice the moments when you feel the building of anger

(fight) or anxiety (flight). Identify what makes you want to fight.

Sense the signals from your body. Notice your feelings and thoughts.

Identify the actions you want to take. Identify what makes you want to flee.

Sense the signals from your body. Notice your feelings and thoughts.

Identify the actions you want to take

(physical expression and emotional escape).

Tip Awareness of moments of sympathetic activation is an ongoing practice. Use what you’ve learned to notice when you step into the energy of fight or flight.

SYMPATHETIC

FLAVORS OF SYMPATHETIC Concept When we feel a neuroception of danger, the sympathetic system

activates, taking us to "fight” and "flight." These two survival pathways come with their own particular energies, and we name them in many ways. We can think of these under the general

headings of anger (fight) and anxiety (flight) and get to know

the flavors of each.

Prompt Divide a piece of paper into two sections marked fight and flight (or choose your own two words to label those sections). Reflect

on times when you were pulled into each response, and find

words that describe those experiences.

Tip Your list is a work in progress. As you have new experiences you may find new words to describe how you feel—add those

to your list. When you are in a state of fight or flight, try to find

the word on your list that describes your response. Just the act of reviewing your list is enough to bring in a bit of regulation.

SYMPATHETIC

WHAT IF? Concept The sympathetic system acts in service of our survival when

something or someone feels dangerous. While this survival response is very effective at protecting us from harm, it can

also shut us off from actions that might nourish us. Use the following sentences to attune to the worry of what might happen

and the hope of what might be possible.

Prompt Identify your day-to-day worries. Discover what your sympa­

thetic system is protecting you from. "If I wasn't (.fill in the thought, feeling, or behavior you're expe­ riencing'), then I would (fill in a harm you might experience)"

Now switch this around and identify your hopes, and discover what your sympathetic system is keeping you from.

“If I wasn't (fill in the same thought, feeling, or behavior), then I would (fill in a positive experience you could have instead)."

Tip Explore these questions using a variety of worries to develop

a full understanding of how your sympathetic system works. Revisit the questions when you notice you are entering a

sympathetic state of fight or flight. Each experience may bring new answers.

SYMPATHETIC

ASSESSING THE SITUATION Concept When signals of danger from the past activate in the present, we can quickly be pulled into survival energy and enter a familiar

pattern of protection. A discernment practice brings awareness

to the present moment and supports making an intentional choice rather than simply following an old pathway.

Prompt When you experience what seems like an overly intense sympathetic reaction to a situation, use this discernment question to explore your response:

"In this moment, in this place, with this person or people, is this level of response necessary?"

Be curious about other times that brought the same response,

and notice what is the same and what is different.

Tip Write this discernment question on a card as a reminder to ask it when you feel an intensity of response that seems out of pro­

portion to the actual situation. (This discernment question is also useful in a dorsal moment.)

SYMPATHETIC

HONORING THE SURVIVAL RESPONSE Concept The nervous system doesn't assign moral meaning or motivation. It simply acts in service of our safety. Add the word adaptive

before the words survival response to bring awareness to how

the nervous system works and to move from self-criticism and blame to curiosity and compassion. When we bring awareness

to the moment, it's possible to see how the response is neces­ sary and honor the survival actions of the sympathetic system.

Prompt

o

Remember a moment when you felt a small amount of sympathetic activation but didn’t move into a full fight

or flight response. Appreciate the degree of mobilization that allowed you to react this way.

Q Now recall a moment when you were pulled into flight, and

then a moment when you were drawn into fight. Consider the reasons for these responses and the ways they protected you.

Tip This is a good end-of-the-day reflection practice. Review your day, notice the moments your sympathetic system acted to

ensure your safety, and say words of appreciation.

SYMPATHETIC

NOTICE THE DIFFERENCE Concept When we work to reshape habitual response patterns, we notice

when a big change happens, but unless we create a practice of noticing, we often miss the small shifts that lead to change. A

regular reflection (daily and weekly) is a good way to notice how the nervous system is reorganizing.

Prompt Remember moments when you didn’t experience your familiar sympathetic survival response. You might notice a less intense

response, a lack of sympathetic response to an event that has predictably activated fight or flight, or a quicker return to reg­

ulation. Keep track of the different ways your system signals change.

Tip It is normal and expected to have moments during the day when

you experience some flavor of sympathetic fight and flight. As your system finds the way to more regulation, there will be a

change in the frequency, intensity, and duration of these mo­

ments. Noticing the small changes is a reminder that autonomic change is happening.

SYMPATHETIC

MY SYMPATHETIC SURVIVAL STORY Concept We are by nature storytellers—we make sense of the world through stories. Our sympathetic survival stories are filled with elements of being in a dangerous world surrounded by dan­

gerous people. When we move into this state, our storytelling abilities diminish, and it is helpful to have a series of prompts to

frame the story.

Prompt What level of activation are you feeling? “In this moment my sympathetic system is.."

What is happening in your body? "My body shows me...”

What are you feeling? “I feel.. What are you thinking? “My brain tells me ...” What action do you want to take? “I want to ...”

End with these three sentences: “I am.. "People are..

"The world is ..

Tip Writing your survival story with these prompts brings awareness

to your experience. Keep track of your answers and see what

patterns emerge. To follow your survival story forward in time, repeat the series of prompts several times over the course of

a few minutes. Notice how the answers change as you move through the experience.

SYMPATHETIC

EXPLORING MY REGULATED SYMPATHETIC LANDSCAPE Concept In its everyday role, the sympathetic nervous system influences

heart and breath rhythms and brings the energy we need to move through the day. We can use imagery to enter the land­

scape of our sympathetic state and be nourished by the flow of

energy found there.

Prompt

o

Feel the energy of your sympathetic system in its regulated state.

Q Imagine the features of the landscape in this place of movement.

© Look for the landmarks in this place of regulated mobiliza­

tion-colors, moving energy, shapes, objects, features of

the natural world, structures, people, and animals. Q Take time to let the landscape come into view. When you are ready, enter the image and explore.

0

Feel what it is like to inhabit this place.

Tip Keep returning to your regulated sympathetic landscape and build a strong connection to that place. The features of your

landscape may change, so be open to ongoing exploration. Notice what appears and disappears.

SYMPATHETIC

EXPLORING MY SYMPATHETIC SURVIVAL LANDSCAPE Concept When signals of danger threaten to overwhelm us, we move into the mobilized, highly charged energy of a sympathetic

survival state. We can envision this state as a landscape with its own unique colors, sounds, people, and other features. Sympathetic survival landscapes come with both unchanging landmarks and features that shift depending on the intensity

of the moment.

Prompt

Q

As you remember the details of a moment when your

sympathetic

system

activated, envision

your survival

landscape.

Q Look for the landmarks in this place of mobilization—colors, moving energy, shapes, objects, features of the natural world, structures, people, animals.

O

Explore several sympathetically charged moments to get to

know the predictable landmarks that define this place.

O

Then look for the features that change with each experience. Be curious about how they indicate shifts in the intensity of your response.

Tip Get to know the predictable landmarks of your sympathetic survival landscape. They will help you find your way when you

enter that state. Bring attention to what features change. They

carry information about the present moment experience.

DORSAL

DORSAL DANGER Concept Signals that activate dorsal disconnection and collapse can be explored through events, environments, and embodied ex­

periences. Recognizing the characteristics of these activating experiences helps identify patterns. When we see patterns, we

can work to change them.

Prompt Identify the specific events, environments, and embodied ex­

periences that pull you into dorsal collapse. Then look for the

common elements in each category.

Events: Make a list of moments that pulled you into dorsal. Review your list and find the common themes. Consider ex­ pectations (your own and others), what you felt responsible

for, who else was involved, and any pattern to the timing of these moments.

Environments: Look back and identify the places you were

when you felt pulled into dorsal. Are there certain places that

predictably signal danger? Look at both indoor and outdoor

spaces. Embodied experiences: Reflect on moments you felt pulled into dorsal and consider how your body signaled this

shift. Look for the predictable ways your body sends you these messages.

Tip Use what you've discovered to consider what could be changed.

DORSAL

FINDING A LIFELINE Concept Dorsal survival energy takes us out of awareness, out of

connection, and out of present time. We lose our sense of

being anchored in the moment and feel untethered and in

need of a lifeline. When we experience this sense of drifting away, a lifeline gives us something dependable to hold on to.

Prompt Bring to mind a moment when you experienced a slight pull to

dorsal disconnection. Invite a lifeline to appear by experimenting with images to see what helps you feel held in time and space

and brings a sense of connection. Once you find a lifeline, reflect on moments of dorsal

disconnection of varying intensity. You may want one image for small dorsal moments and another for ones with a stronger pull.

Make sure your lifeline is strong enough to guide you back.

Tip Common images include a helping hand reaching out, a rope

to grab, a ladder, or a beam of light. Let your imagination guide you in finding the lifeline(s) just right for you.

DORSAL

FLAVORS OF DORSAL Concept When we feel trapped, the dorsal survival system comes to the rescue. Entering this response can begin with a subtle feeling

of not being present, just going through the motions, and an

image of taking a step back. Being fully immersed in dorsal can bring a feeling of being lost and abandoned, in a place where

no one will find you, and an image of floating away. Between these two ends of the spectrum there are many flavors of dorsal

protection.

Prompt

o

Start by remembering a time when you felt the very beginning of a dorsal response. Describe that feeling. Invite

images.

0

Next imagine your most intense dorsal response. Describe

that and invite an image.

0

Now move between the two and explore the experiences along that continuum. Take small steps, stop to describe

each place, and invite an image.

Tip It is helpful to document (write about or illustrate) what you

discover. Dorsal energy has a strong pull, and the act of docu­ menting is a way to observe from a safe distance as you begin

to get to know your flavors of dorsal.

DORSAL

DOWN TO DORSAL Concept When we are pulled into dorsal, we begin to feel depleted phys­ ically and emotionally. We feel the shift from the intensity of

sympathetic energy to the disconnection of dorsal in our bodies, thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Understanding how we expe­

rience a dorsal state gives a framework to make it a less myste­ rious and less scary moment.

Prompt Get to know the ways your dorsal survival response starts to

activate. Remember a moment when you felt your dorsal survival energy begin to take you out of connection and into collapse. Body: Notice how your body shows you that energy is

draining. Brain: Listen to the thoughts that emerge. What do you

think about yourself, the world, and the people in it? Identify the feelings that appear. Behaviors: Notice the actions you want to take. They may

be internal impulses or actual behaviors you engage in.

Tip Use the information you gather to tune into the moments when you feel your dorsal state activating. Keep a list and add to it as you learn more about this survival system.

DORSAL

EXPLORING MY REGULATED DORSAL LANDSCAPE Concept In its everyday role, the dorsal system manages healthy diges­ tion. A regulated dorsal state brings nutrients to nourish us and

sends signals that our needs are being met. We can use imag­

ery to enter the landscape of our dorsal state and intentionally connect with the energy of rest and digest that contributes to

well-being.

Prompt

Q

Move into awareness of the slow and steady rhythm of your

regulated dorsal state.

Q Imagine the features of the landscape in this place that

nurtures and sustains you. Look for landmarks—colors, energy, shapes, objects, features of the natural world,

structures, people, and animals.

0 O

Take time to let the landscape come into view.

When you are ready, enter the image and explore. Feel what it is like to inhabit this place.

Tip The regulated dorsal state is essential for well-being. Revisit

this landscape regularly and find time to rest here. You might discover a certain place in the landscape you are drawn to, or

you might find your landscape changes and you discover new

places to rest.

DORSAL

EXPLORING MY DORSAL SURVIVAL LANDSCAPE Concept The dorsal survival state protects through shutdown, discon­ nection, and collapse. When we feel trapped with no way out,

the dorsal system activates to conserve energy. Instead of feeling filled, we feel depleted. The lack of energy changes our

experience from being present and connected to lost and dis­

connected.

Prompt

0

Remember a time when you were taken into dorsal survival energy. Start with a small moment where you began to move into the protection of disconnection.

0

Find the features of this landscape where there is just

enough energy to keep you alive but not enough to nourish you.

0

Look for the landmarks that define this place—colors, energy, shapes, objects, features of the natural world, structures, people, and animals.

O

When you feel comfortable here, explore how the landscape

changes with a more intense dorsal experience.

Tip Dorsal survival energy is powerful. Take time to safely explore

small moments before venturing deeper into your dorsal expe­

rience. Get to know the landmarks so you don't feel so lost when you find yourself in this place.

DORSAL

IN SERVICE OF SURVIVAL Concept Survival states activate when there is a sense of danger and a

need for protection. No matter how irrational survival actions may seem, the nervous system is always acting to ensure our safety by enacting a response based on past experiences and

utilizing the resources at hand. When we recognize what is

activating these survival systems, become aware of how they

are trying to protect us, and appreciate these actions, we can

move out of self-criticism and shame into understanding and

self-compassion.

Prompt Use the following statements to explore why and how your dor­ sal survival state protects you and to appreciate its actions: I see that my dorsal system is acting in response to .,. I feel my dorsal system protecting me by...

My dorsal system works on my behalf by... I am grateful that my dorsal system ...

Tip The next time you enter a dorsal state, use these prompts to reflect on your experience once you’ve returned to regulation.

Each experience may bring new information. (You can also use these questions to get to know sympathetic survival responses.)

DORSAL

MEETING THE MOMENT Concept In a dorsal survival state, a limited amount of energy is available to support a return to regulation. Actions that begin to help you move out of a dorsal collapse fall along a scale of passive to active and into two categories: self-regulation and co-regulation. It’s

important to have a range of resources available to you so that

you can reach for a resource that matches your energy level in

the moment.

Prompt

O

Create two resource lists: self-regulating and co-regulating.

@ For each list identify a range of actions along a continuum of effort needed to engage.

@ Start by identifying actions that are easy to access and don’t

require much energy (such as listening to your breath or

imagining being with a friend). © Moving along the continuum, add actions that use more

energy (such as taking a walk or connecting with a friend in

person).

Tip Review and revise your lists as you recognize new resources.

DORSAL

Concept The dorsal survival state is the path of last resort. When all else fails, the nervous system moves into shutdown. Dorsal collapse

rescues us from the overwhelming experience of sympathetic fight and flight and offers protection through disconnection.

Prompt Identify your day-to-day worries. Discover what your dorsal sys­

tem is protecting you from. "If I wasn’t (fill in the thought, feeling, or behavior you're experiencing), then I would (fill in what harm might come

to you)."

Now switch this around by identifying your hopes and

discovering what your dorsal system is keeping you from. "If I wasn't (fill in the same thought, feeling, or behavior), then I

would (fill in what positive experience you could have instead)."

Tip Because the ability to think and reflect is shut down in a dorsal survival state, it's hard to explore when your body has entered that conservation mode. Go to these questions when you first be­

gin to feel the pull of your dorsal system and use them to reflect

once you return to regulation. Keep exploring the dorsal stories of harm and hope. Each experience may bring new answers.

DORSAL

...

■'

.

REACH OUT Concept When in a dorsal state of collapse, there is a feeling of being

alone, abandoned, and lost. The antidote to that—what can begin to bring some safety back to the system—is to feel

connected again. And yet, the act of reaching out is often too big a challenge for a nervous system that has moved into shutdown. We can find the way back to regulation by first remembering a moment of connection and then imagining

a moment, before taking an action to reach for connection.

Prompt

o

Remember: Recall a moment when you experienced feel­ ing safely connected. Let the memory of that moment come

to life and feel some energy returning.

0

Imagine: Imagine being with someone who feels welcom­

ing. Feel what it’s like to be near them and to be invited into

connection. © Enact: Take a small step to reach for connection. Send

someone a message or move to a place where you are around other people.

Tip Reconnection can easily feel overwhelming. Be gentle in this

process. Take small steps that lead toward connection.

DORSAL

COMING BACK TO LIFE Concept In a dorsal survival response we feel a sense of lifelessness. Energy is needed to begin to feel alive again. The return of

energy must come a drop at a time and not in an overwhelm­ ing flood. Too much too quickly and we stay stuck in shutdown mode. Movement is a reliable way to begin the return to regulation. The goal is to find a movement that uses a small

amount of energy and then build on that.

Prompt

O

Imagine: Start by imagining a movement. When you imagine yourself taking an action, the motor cortex in

your brain responds and you begin to feel energy moving. Imagine a series of movements and feel your system coming

back to life.

0

Enact: Make a gentle movement—something that requires

only a small amount of energy. Notice what shifts in your body. Make another movement and track the energy

returning. Continue making a series of movements using

your increasing energy.

Tip We find our way out of dorsal by moving slowly and steadily. Be

patient and persistent.

DORSAL

WIDEN THE LENS­ ADJUST THE FOCUS Concept It's hard to see beyond the sense of hopelessness that accompa­ nies the pull into dorsal. Thoughts and feelings are ones of dis­

connection, our bodies feel numb and empty, and actions come from a place of feeling drained. We are stuck in a survival story

and the world feels out of focus. We can intentionally widen the

lens and bring the world into focus to see beyond the limits of that perspective.

Prompt With a camera, it’s easy to zoom in and out. You decide how

much to include in the frame and can easily experiment with changing the view. When you stop at a certain distance, auto­

focus senses the change and automatically adjusts the image.

Imagine you are looking at a dorsal moment from close-up and

then slowly zoom out. Make small changes in the frame and notice what else comes into view. After each change, wait for

the scene to come into focus.

Tip Predictable changes happen as you zoom out. Track them and see how wide to make your lens to begin to return to connection.

DORSAL

TOUCH A DORSAL MOMENT Concept Self-touch can bring a safe return of sensation when our body

feels numb and can create connection to the present when we feel lost. In a dorsal moment—when we have been taken out of

our body and feel as if we are floating away—self-touch can help us find our way back.

Prompt

o

Explore different kinds of self-touch. Touch your face,

your heart area, your abdomen. Massage your feet. Clasp your hands. What else are you curious about?

Q Make a list of the touches that help you come back to your body and the present moment.

© Enter a memory of a small dorsal moment and experiment with your list.

© Remember a stronger dorsal moment and find the touch that helps there. Explore a variety of memories and update

your list as you discover more ways of using regulating

touch.

Tip The intensity of your dorsal response may dictate the kind

of touch that is regulating. Consider organizing your list con­

necting specific touch to the strength of the dorsal pull.

VENTRAL

GLIMMERS Concept Glimmers are the micro-moments of ventral experience that routinely appear in everyday life yet frequently go unnoticed.

A glimmer could be seeing a friendly face, hearing a soothing sound, or noticing something in the environment that makes you smile. Glimmers are easily overlooked because the human

brain is wired to pay more attention to negative events than to positive ones. But once we learn to notice glimmers, we find they are all around us and we begin to look for more!

Prompt

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Identify glimmer cues. What happens in your body that lets you know you are in a glimmer moment? What do you feel,

think, or do? © Use your cues to recognize glimmers as you move through your day.

@ Survey your environment and intentionally look for glimmers. © Identify the places and times where glimmers routinely

appear and make a habit of returning.

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Set an intention to be open to finding unexpected glimmers.

Tip Keep a glimmer journal. Identify the predictable times and places you find a glimmer and also write about the unexpected moments.

VENTRAL

SAVORING Concept Savoring is the practice of capturing and deepening the glimmers (ventral micro-moments) that inevitably emerge as we move through the day. Because this practice takes advantage of nat­

urally occurring moments, it is easy to incorporate into the flow of a day. Sometimes negative thoughts intrude and interrupt

our ability to stay in the ventral experience, and rather than

resourcing, the practice of savoring becomes distressing. If that happens, stop and try again later. Start slowly and build toward

30 seconds. Your capacity to savor will increase over time.

Prompt Attend: Notice a ventral micro-moment (glimmer). Focus your

attention on it. Appreciate:

Hold the moment in your awareness and

appreciate its presence. Amplify: Stay with the moment for 20-30 seconds and let it

fill you.

Tip Actively look for moments to savor throughout your day. Find a way to keep track of your savoring moments. Consider keeping

a savoring notebook, engaging in an end-of-day reflection prac­

tice, or sharing your moments with a friend.

VENTRAL

SIFTing Concept SIFTing is a way to bring a ventral experience that is stored

in your nervous system back into awareness so you can re-experience it and use it as a regulating resource. The four el­

ements that make up a SIFT are body sensation, image, feeling,

and thought. To build a SIFT, layer these four elements together to bring a ventral memory back to life, and relive it in the re­

membering.

Prompt Think of a ventral experience you would like to revisit. Remem­

ber the experience, look for the element that is most alive and accessible for you (body sensation, image, feeling, or thought),

and write a short statement describing it. Then move through

the other elements and write statements describing each of

them. Give your SIFT a title. Read the title and the four state­ ments of your SIFT, and take time to re-experience that ventral moment.

Tip Look for moments to SIFT and create a collection of cards. When you are feeling a need for ventral regulation, take out one of your SIFT cards and revisit that moment to return to regulation.

VENTRAL

ANCHORING IN VENTRAL Concept Ventral anchors are reliable experiences we reach for to help us return to a state of regulation when we have been pulled

out of ventral. These anchors also help us appreciate the ven­

tral experience once we are there. When anchoring, we use the categories of who, what, where, and when to identify experi­ ences of ventral connection that we can intentionally activate

and use as regulating resources.

Prompt Which people in your life make you feel safe and welcome?

What are small actions you take that feel nourishing and regu­ lating and that invite connection?

What objects bring you ventral energy? Where are the everyday places you move through that bring

your ventral state to life? When are the times you reliably feel regulated?

Tip As you find your way to ventral more often, you will discover more anchors. It’s helpful to make a list of anchors and to add to it as you find new ones. Take time to read through your list to

appreciate the variety of regulating resources you have.

TOUCHSTONES Concept Touchstones are objects or sensations that have personal

meaning and that connect us to a state of ventral regula­ tion and help us feel grounded there. Putting touchstones in

places where we regularly encounter them reminds us of the presence of ventral energy and our ability to reach out for

that connection.

Prompt Find objects that bring your ventral state alive, and put them in

the places you move through during the day. Identify smells (one special scent or several different scents)

that take you to your ventral state, and find ways to bring them

into your environment. Notice things you wear that reliably help you feel anchored in ventral, and reach for those on the days you want to feel held

in that energy.

Tip Finding touchstones is an ongoing process—look for new

ones, retire old ones, move them around your home and work environments. Have ones you can easily take with you or wrap up in when you are heading into a moment that feels

challenging.

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VENTRAL

A VENTRAL SPACE Concept We are nourished in environments that invite connection and inspire an enlivening of ventral energy. When we inhabit spaces that are filled with signs of safety, spaces that invite us to enter

and stay awhile, we move toward well-being.

Prompt

O

Look around the environments you inhabit and notice the places that feel filled with ventral energy and the objects

that bring you a sense of regulation and connection. Identify

specifically what it is about those places and things that

brings you to this ventral state. @ Now notice what places and objects take you away from that

ventral energy. Identify their characteristics.

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Use what you’ve learned to shape your environments in ways that fill you with ventral energy and bring a sense of comfort.

Tip Ventral spaces are filled with abundance, but abundance does

not mean that spaces are filled with lots of things. Abundance is felt not in the presence of things but in the enlivening of the

ventral state. Find the balance of open and filled spaces that

brings you a ventral feeling of abundance.

VENTRAL

EXPLORING MY VENTRAL LANDSCAPE Concept The ventral state is present in each of us, even though it is sometimes challenging to find. No matter how often we are

pulled into a survival response we can always come back to ventral and return to regulation. With imagery we can create an

internal, ventral landscape with details that help us feel safe and

regulated. Through this landscape we can enter and explore our

personal, internal "home” in the land of ventral safety, regula­ tion. and connection.

Prompt Imagine you’ve entered your ventral landscape. What do you see? Are there elements of the natural world? A house?

Animals? People? What are the colors and energy here? What

do you smell and hear? Is there a path to walk or a place to rest?

Take time to explore. Feel what it is like to inhabit this place.

Tip While the general feel of the landscape will likely stay the same,

elements in the landscape may change. Each time you return,

look around and take in what might be different.

VENTRAL

NOURISHED IN NATURE Concept Nature reliably activates our ventral state. The sights and sounds of nature are regulating and restorative, and when we are cut

off from the natural world, we feel the disruption. Seeing the repeating patterns found in waves, clouds, leaves, shells, and

blossoms brings a quick return to regulation. Connecting with nature following a stressful moment helps us find our way back

to regulation. Because we have a ventral response to being out

in the natural world and to looking at images of nature, this is an easily accessible resource.

Prompt Get out into the natural world and look for the places that

welcome you. Notice the geography of those places. Get to know the features that are important to you. Listen for sounds in nature that catch your interest. Create a collection of nature images that nourish you.

Tip Connect with nature through multiple pathways. You can return to places in nature where you feel welcomed and alive while also

bringing the outside in. Try placing nature images where you can see them or listen to recorded nature sounds.

VENTRAL

SIGNS OF WELCOME Concept The social engagement system broadcasts and receives signs of warning and welcome. Through information sent from

someone's eyes, voice, face, and gestures, we know if they are safe to approach and can intentionally use these pathways to

send an invitation for connection.

Prompt Identify the signals being sent from another person that feel

welcoming to you. Notice what it is about their eyes, voice, face,

and gestures that invites you into connection: Their eyes signal safety when ... Their tone of voice sounds welcoming when... Their face expresses regulation when ... Their gestures convey an invitation when... Use these same phrases to get to know the ways your own eyes,

voice, face, and gestures invite others into connection.

Tip As you develop awareness of these signs of welcome, you can

intentionally send an invitation for connection and watch for in­

vitations from others.

VENTRAL

REACHING OUT Concept Connecting with others is an essential part of living a life of well-being. While the need for connection is universal, the

degree of connection and ways we connect are personal. When we make intentional decisions about what we do, how often,

and with whom, and find the combination of connections that

feels just right, reaching out becomes a regulating resource.

Prompt Create your personal connection plan and use it to guide your

choices: Name the people in your life you feel connected with. Identify people you’d like to reach out to and explore a con­

nection. Make a list of the things you do with other people that bring you joy.

Consider activities you would like to explore with other people.

Use what you've learned to create a combination of activi­

ties that feel nourishing and resource your connection with others.

Tip Your personal connection plan is a living document. Connec­ tions ebb and flow over time. Revisit your plan regularly and update it as your connections change.

VENTRAL

LOVING KINDNESS MEDITATION Concept The loving kindness meditation increases ventral energy and has a positive impact on physical and psychological well-being. The traditional phrases focus on the qualities of happiness, health, safety, and living with ease. They are offered first to our­

selves (May I ...) and then to others (May you ...): to someone we care about, someone neutral, someone we are in a struggle

with, and finally, to all beings.

Prompt Rephrase the four qualities of happiness, health, safety, and

ease in the language of your nervous system. Connect with your

ventral energy and find your own words for each of these qual­ ities. Meditate on your words, offering them to yourself, to

others, and to all beings. Practice over a period of time and

bring awareness to what changes.

Example: Happiness: May I find glimmers every day. May you find ...

Health: May I be nourished by the flow of ventral energy.

May you be,.. Safety: May I be filled with a neuroception of safety. May you

be... Ease: May I live in the rhythm of a regulated nervous system.

May you live...

Tip Find someone to share with. Reading your meditations to some­ one and having them read back to you is a powerful experience.

VENTRAL

CONNECTING WITH SPIRIT Concept In a ventral state, connecting with something greater than ourselves becomes possible. Connection with spirit is an

intimate experience that moves beyond our individual self and often comes with a feeling of grace. You may feel deep­

ly connected to spirit, or it may feel elusive. Wherever you land along that continuum, when you are filled with the

energy of ventral, you can explore the pathway to connection

with spirit.

Prompt

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Say the word spirit and see where it takes you.

Q Connect with the concept of spirit and see what emerges.

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Invite an image of spirit.

Listen for a message about, or from, spirit. See if you feel a sense of spirit moving.

Write a belief that emerges from this exploration.

Tip Spirit appears in many ways. There is no right way to connect

with spirit—there is only the way of your nervous system. Whether you feel a deep connection or are still searching, keep returning to this exploration and see what emerges.

VENTRAL

AWE INSPIRING Concept Awe is a state of wonder, curiosity, reverence, and deep appre­

ciation. In a moment of awe, we feel both small and connected to something much larger than ourselves, and this transforms how we experience the world. We experience awe in both extraordinary and ordinary moments and can deepen our

sense of well-being by learning to notice the everyday moments of awe all around us.

Prompt

Q

Revisit a time when you experienced a moment of awe so extraordinary that it stopped you in your tracks.

@ Consider your everyday awe experiences. Art, music, and

the natural world regularly offer moments of awe. Get to

know the cues from your body and mind that you are experiencing a moment of everyday awe.

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Watch for ordinary moments of awe as you move through

your daily routine. © Find your "awe environments”—places you can easily return to and experience a moment of awe—and visit them regularly.

Tip Record your awe experiences to identify the predictable moments of awe you can recreate and to appreciate the unexpected ones.

RELATIONAL

DAILY REFLECTION Concept The relationship between our states changes in small ways throughout the day. Each shift adds up, turning these micro­

moments of change into predictable new pathways within our nervous system. A daily practice of stopping to notice these

small shifts is a way to recognize that change is happening.

Prompt Review your day, and reflect on the autonomic pathways you traveled.

Consider what was different about this day. You might notice a slightly less intense response to an event or an easier re­ covery into regulation. You might recognize a different kind

of response-sympathetic mobilization in place of a dorsal collapse, or a moment of ventral connection instead of a surviv­

al response. Remember to not think in terms of good and bad. While moving out of collapse into mobilization is not where we

want to remain, it’s a step toward regulation and takes us in the direction of connection.

Tip Keep track of your experiences, and periodically review your

notes to see how your responses are changing.

RELATIONAL

AN ILLUSTRATED HIERARCHY Concept Seeing states through art invites new awareness. We can create an art map for an individual state to invite an intimate connec­

tion to that autonomic experience. Additionally, illustrating three states along the autonomic hierarchy brings deeper awareness

to the relationship between these states. Creating an art map is

a personal process. Each map has its own shape, style, and story.

Prompt Using any type of medium that feels right, connect with one state—ventral, sympathetic, or dorsal-and express your experi­

ence through art. Let go of any preconceptions about what your

map should look like. Then make a map for the other two states. You can also create one map to illustrate the relationship be­ tween the three states.

Tip You might want to create multiple art maps for each state using different materials—markers, paint, pastels, photos, things from

nature, etc. Go where your imagination takes you.

RELATIONAL

THE POWER OF A SIGH Concept We sigh spontaneously throughout the day, but we can also

intentionally sigh to momentarily interrupt a survival state and appreciate the experience of being anchored in safety.

Prompt

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Experiment with different sighs—deep or shallow, loud or soft, through the nose or mouth. With each sigh, look for

subtle shifts in your state and thoughts.

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Connect with a moment of dorsal collapse and breathe

a sigh of despair.

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Move into a moment of sympathetic mobilization and

breathe a sigh of frustration.

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End in the regulated energy of ventral and breathe a sigh of relief that you have found your way here. Linger in this place

of safety and connection and breathe a sigh of contentment.

Tip Make a practice of turning to a sigh when you are feeling

caught in dorsal or sympathetic survival energy. The small interruption can begin the return to regulation. Intention­

ally sigh with relief and contentment to anchor in ventral regulation.

RELATIONAL

STORY OF THREE STATES Concept At any given moment there are three stories waiting to be

heard, one from each autonomic state: dorsal, sympathetic, and

ventral. The story that guides our thoughts, feelings, and actions comes from the state that is most active in the moment.

Prompt

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Identify a small, everyday experience that brings a bit of a challenge but doesn’t affect your safety or have a significant impact on your life. Consider this experience through the "eyes” of your sympathetic system. What is the story of the

experience from that perspective?

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Now consider the experience from the perspective of your

dorsal system.

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Once you’ve heard these two survival stories, find your way to the regulated state of ventral. What is the story here in ventral, where you are no longer in a state of survival?

@ Review your three stories and reflect on what you find

interesting in each of them.

Tip This listening practice expands our perspective and reminds us that our stories emerge from our states. Make a practice of

stopping and listening to your three stories. Get to know the predictable storylines each of your states brings to life.

RELATIONAL

FLAVOR OF THE DAY Concept When we reflect on the day through the lens of our nervous system, we can recognize ventral, sympathetic, and dorsal mo­ ments and see that the general "flavor" of the day is a result of

the contributions of each.

Prompt We can use a pie chart to visualize the flavor of our day. Use three colors to divide a circle into "slices” for ventral, sympa­ thetic, and dorsal, adjusting the size of each slice to represent

how much time your nervous system spent in that state. How big is each piece of the pie? Once you’ve divided your pie, fill in

each piece with words, shapes, or more colors to illustrate the experience of that state.

Tip The end of the day is a good time to reflect on the flow of states we naturally experience while navigating life’s demands. Collect a series of charts to get a sense of your autonomic

experience over time, and notice what patterns begin to emerge.

RELATIONAL

MOVING WITH STATES Concept We change autonomic states and make subtle shifts within a state many times over the course of a day. Movement is a way

to practice traveling from state to state with flexibility and to explore the different experiences held within each state.

Prompt Between States: Create a movement to represent each state:

ventral regulation and connection, sympathetic fight and flight, and dorsal collapse. Use your movements to explore moving be­ tween states. Experiment with moving back and forth between

ventral and sympathetic and between dorsal and sympathetic. Try traveling the full length of the hierarchy from ventral to sym­ pathetic to dorsal and back.

Within a State: Practice your movement for each state and

explore how the movement changes as you transition from first

entering the state to being fully immersed in the state. Get to

know the different energies and movements that are held in dorsal and sympathetic survival and the many movements that illustrate the flavors of ventral.

Tip Experiment with both imagining movements and making move­

ments. Notice how your experiences change.

RELATIONAL

THE SHAPE OF STATES Concept Sculptors bring a moment to life through the art of three-

dimensional representation. When we "sculpt" a state through

the movements of our bodies, we get to know that state through its physical expression.

Prompt

o

Begin by imagining a ventral moment and adjust your

posture, facial expression, and the position of your arms, legs, and head until you find the shape that accurately represents your state.

0

Do the same for sympathetic and dorsal in both their regulated and survival roles.

© Play with the variety of shapes your three states can

take as you feel the different expressions of each. © Explore the ways you move between states. Create a series

of "sculptures” to illustrate the small changes that happen

as you transition from one state to the other.

Tip An alternative is to use a wooden artist's mannequin. You can

shape and reshape a mannequin to explore the various expres­ sions of states and to create movement between states.

RELATIONAL

PLAYLISTS Concept Music both regulates and activates the autonomic nervous system. Some songs allow us to safely experience dorsal and

sympathetic survival states and embrace those experiences,

while others deepen our connection with ventral. Music is a gentle and accessible way to travel the autonomic hierarchy.

Prompt Create different kinds of playlists. Build collections of songs that take you into safe connection with your three states:

Q

For your "ventral playlist," choose songs that stir feelings

of calm, excitement, passion, compassion, connection,

interest, celebration, joy, rest, and restoration.

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Next, create playlists that bring you into connection with your sympathetic and dorsal survival states. Select songs

that represent ail the flavors of anxiety, anger, collapse, and

disconnection you feel.

0

Finally, take songs from each playlist and arrange them in an order that intersperses songs of safety among songs of survival.

Tip Make a practice of reaching for your playlists to explore and

enjoy your states. Listen with others and experience the power of shared listening.

RELATIONAL

SOUNDSCAPES Concept The many sounds that fill the environment around us create

a soundscape. Our soundscapes are in turn filled with sounds called soundmarks, or sounds that are unique to that location

and that we associate with that specific soundscape.

Prompt Tune in to your soundscape. As you listen, let your awareness

move beneath the first layer of sound and notice the variety of

subtler sounds that make up your soundscape.

Practice this as you move through your day, noticing the ways your nervous system responds to different soundscapes.

Pay special attention to the soundmarks in your soundscapes. Some may help you anchor in regulation, while others may

prompt a move into mobilization or shutdown. Notice which

soundmarks feel welcoming and which ones send a warning. Imagine a soundscape that helps you anchor in ventral, and no­

tice the soundmarks that are important to you.

T>P When you identify the soundscapes and soundmarks that help you anchor in ventral, you can begin to shape your sound envi­

ronments to be autonomically nourishing.

RELATIONAL

UNDER THE UMBRELLA Concept Healthy autonomic homeostasis depends on the presence of ventral energy to oversee the system, so that the sympathetic and dorsal states can perform their regulating roles in the back­ ground. Imagery is a way to bring the sense of ventral manage­ ment into active awareness.

Prompt

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Try visualizing your ventral state as an open umbrella

keeping your sympathetic and dorsal states safe and dry.

When the umbrella is blown inside out or closed, ventral is no longer able to regulate your autonomic system, and your

sympathetic and dorsal survival states take over. Q Visualize another image in which ventral shelters your

sympathetic and dorsal states so that they remain anchored

in regulation and not activated into survival.

0

Once you have this image in mind, spend time feeling the

o

Then experiment with changing the image so that it no

regulation the image brings.

longer offers regulation and instead represents your two states of survival.

Tip Look for an image that can be seen in three ways, allowing you

to visualize your system in regulation, sympathetic mobilization, and dorsal collapse.

RELATIONAL

AUTONOMIC HAIKU Concept Haiku is a form of poetry made up of three lines and seventeen

syllables: the first line has five syllables, the second has sev­ en, and the third again has five syllables. Haiku is effective at

capturing a moment in time with just a few words.

Prompt Writing a haiku invites you to identify the essence of an

autonomic moment. Consider writing a haiku that represents a moment in each state, reflects an experience of being held in

your regulated system, illustrates sympathetic and dorsal survival

responses, or brings to life the way you move between states. Examples:

No energy. Stuck. Gray clouds. Rain falling. Gloomy.

A rainbow. Magic! Down the dorsal drain. Moving up to mobilize.

Finding the way home.

Walking by the sea. The sand and waves nourish me.

I am filled with peace.

Tip The only rules for writing a haiku are the number of lines and syllables. This is an invitation to play with words and see what

emerges.

RELATIONAL

THREE OBJECTS Concept Finding objects to represent each of the three autonomic states offers a way to characterize our states, understand the qualities

of each state in a new way, and explore the relationships be­

tween states.

Prompt Choose an object to represent each of your three states. Notice

the characteristics that drew you to each object. Listen to the story each object tells.

Experiment with different ways to arrange your three objects: lay them side by side, stack them one on top of the other,

change the amount of space between them, take the ventral object away and then bring it back, etc. Explore what feels interesting in the moment.

Let your imagination guide you, your nervous system speak to

you, and your mind translate the experience into words.

Tip Keep your three objects easily accessible. When you are feeling regulated, arrange your objects in a way that represents that

and savor the experience. When you feel dysregulated, arrange your objects in a way that illustrates your dysregulated state

and then rearrange them to represent regulation. Notice how

your experience changes.

RELATIONAL

NOTICE, NAME, TURN TOWARD, TUNE IN Concept When we notice and name our autonomic experience, we have

the chance to engage with it rather than simply being engaged

by it. When we bring a bit of curiosity to the process, we can ac­ knowledge what our nervous system is trying to communicate.

Prompt

0 0 0

Stop and notice where your nervous system has taken you.

Name the state.

Turn toward your experience and tune in for just a moment.

What does the state want you to know? My dorsal state is letting me know ... My sympathetic energy is telling me ... My ventral system is inviting me to ...

Tip This is a quick exercise to acknowledge the overarching themes of your autonomic story without diving too deeply into your experience. Spend just enough time to hear the essential infor­

mation and not the full story. Stop often during the flow of your day and create skill in noticing the activation of protection or a

moment of connection.

BONUS

PATHWAYS TO PLAY Concept We are serious beings, problem solvers wanting to make sense of the world, but we are also playful beings who want to let go

of our problems, if only for a moment. Playfulness is an essential

ingredient of well-being and a quality that can be enhanced and become part of our daily lives.

Prompt Get to know yourself as a playful person. Consider the conditions that invite you into a moment of play.

Remember moments when you found joy in play, and notice

where, when, and with whom your sense of playfulness emerges.

What encourages you to play? Think about what makes play feel unsafe and identify where,

when, and with whom your sense of playfulness disappears.

What are the barriers to play?

Tip The sense of who you are as a playful person changes over time. Some barriers resolve while others appear. We find joy in both

predictable ways and unexpected moments. Be curious, contin­

ue to learn what supports you in being playful, and invite more of those elements into your life.

BONUS

PLAYFUL MOMENTS Concept Finding opportunities to play and building time for play into our

daily lives is essential for our well-being. The significance we

place on play changes when we leave childhood. As adults, play is often considered unnecessary and unimportant, and for many people, play is an infrequent or even nonexistent experience.

Prompt There are many ways to engage in play. We can be playful on our own and with others. Play can be a simple moment of shared laughter or spontaneously singing along to a favorite song. Our

adult play may be reminiscent of the ways we enjoyed playing

as a child.

Think about the ways you play: What do you do for play on your

own? What do you do with others? Consider how often you en­

joy a playful moment. Do you play enough? Keep track of your playful moments and look for predictable patterns.

Tip Identify how much play you engage in and how much play you want in your life. Work to bring these two into alignment.

snNog

STORIES OF STILLNESS Concept Stillness is a complex nervous system experience. Our three

autonomic states each have a part to play, as sympathetic moves to the background while ventral and dorsal join to support becoming safely still without moving into shutdown. A moment

of stillness in a busy day nourishes the nervous system.

Prompt

O

Begin by finding a word to describe your experience of stillness. Common words include quiet, rest, solitude, and

sanctuary. Experiment until you find the word that most

accurately describes your sense of being safely still. Next, illustrate your experience of stillness. Create an image

0

with elements of safety that invite you to rest. Take time to

experiment as you fill in the details.

Finally, enter your image. Place yourself in the picture, and

0

find your way to stillness. Feel your body moving from motion to rest. Listen to the story that emerges.

Tip As you begin to explore, feelings and memories that have

been out of conscious awareness may reappear and present

a challenge. Add details to your image that make it safe to experience a micro-moment of stillness.

BONUS

PRACTICING STILLNESS Concept The normal flow of daily life includes many transitions from

action to stillness, which can present a challenge to the nervous system. With the ability to flexibly transition between move­ ment and rest, we can meet the demands of the day.

Prompt Stillness is a combination of quiet and connection that can be

challenging to achieve. Start with micro-moments to build the capacity for longer periods of stillness. Experiment with differ­ ent ways to enter a moment of quiet:

Sit in silence with someone.

Take a moment for quiet reflection. Move between physical action and rest.

Walk with a friend without talking.

Turn off electronic devices and take in the world around you.

See what else brings a moment of stillness.

Tip Start with small moments. A rise of sympathetic mobilization or

dorsal shutdown tells you you've gone beyond what is possible in that moment.

BONUS >

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CONSIDER CHANGE Concept Connecting with our nervous system allows us to notice which patterns of thinking, feeling, and acting are benefiting us and

which are not. Change involves leaning into a pattern that is nourishing and moving away from a pattern that is draining.

Prompt Consider a thought, feeling, or behavior pattern you'd like to change. Notice the ways it is draining (sympathetic anxiety or

anger, dorsal shutdown, a combination of both). Now identify a pattern you would like to deepen. Notice the ways your

ventral energy is nourishing.

Choose a pattern to explore, and begin by seeing it as an image. Take time to let the image emerge in your mind, and then

draw it on paper or hold it in your imagination. Make a small change to the image. Try adding or taking away an element or

changing the colors and notice what happens. Make a series of changes, pausing after each change to see what happens to

your state and how that changes your experience.

Tip Experiment with making small changes. Be creative in imagining

something new and safely explore what happens.

BONUS

LET GO AND TAKE A LEAP Concept Change takes us to a space between old and new. The old

patterns no longer fit, but the new ones have not yet fully formed. We can use imagery to explore the pull toward taking a leap, the act of letting go, and the experience of safely landing.

Prompt

Q

Identify an old pattern you are ready to step out of.

Q Create an image of your pathway to change. You might see stairs, a bridge, a road, or a trail. Let your imagination guide you.

0

See the beginning of your pathway and feel what it’s like to not know where you are heading.

0

Bring in any elements you need to feel resourced and ready to take the first step.

0

Imagine taking that first step on your pathway toward somewhere new.

0 0

Feel what happens in your body.

Listen to the story that emerges.

Tip Take steps and keep track of what happens. Add elements of safety you need to keep the process moving.