NLP: How to Use Neuro Linguistic Programming Presuppositions to Break Free from Limiting Beliefs 9798678231338

Table of contents :
Title Page
Copyright
Contents
Introduction
What is NLP?
What is “NLP Presuppositions”?
Presupposition 1: The Map Is Not The Territory
Presupposition 2: People are Not Their Behaviors
Presupposition 3: People Do Not Have Bad Intentions
Presupposition 4: The Meaning of Communication is The Response We Get
Presupposition 5: People Are one Strategy to achieve Anything
Presupposition 6: All Processes Should Promote Personal Growth
Presupposition 7: Calibrate Only On Behaviour
Presupposition 8: People Are Not Broken:
Presupposition 9: People Work Perfectly to Produce The Results They are Getting
Presupposition 10: There is no Failure, There is Only Feedback
Presupposition 11: We All Have The Resources We Need
Conclusion

Citation preview

NLP How to Use Neuro Linguistic Programming Presuppositions to Break Free from Limiting Beliefs

Mohamed El Mahfoudi

Copyright © 2020 Mohamed El Mahfoudi All rights reserved No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without express written permission of the publisher. ISBN: 9798678231338

CONTENTS Title Page Copyright Introduction What is NLP? What is “NLP Presuppositions”? Presupposition 1: The Map Is Not The Territory Presupposition 2: People are Not Their Behaviors Presupposition 3: People Do Not Have Bad Intentions Presupposition 4: The Meaning of Communication is The Response We Get Presupposition 5: People Are one Strategy to achieve Anything Presupposition 6: All Processes Should Promote Personal Growth Presupposition 7: Calibrate Only On Behaviour Presupposition 8: People Are Not Broken: Presupposition 9: People Work Perfectly to Produce The Results They are Getting Presupposition 10: There is no Failure, There is Only Feedback Presupposition 11: We All Have The Resources We Need Conclusion

INTRODUCTION

To live a balanced and meaningful life free of mental limitation is someting impossible if you have inside conflicts and negative beliefs. To live with some inner conflicts is very bad. It makes your life a mess and it stops you from making progress in your life or in your profession. It makes you live in a crazy world with crazy people that are not. Maybe you are someone else who created some toxic thoughts that made you have an inner conflict. The experiences that you had in your life made you see and believe some “realities” that are not real. Sometimes it can be your environment and people around you like parents, family, friends... who make you having bad “realities”. Sometimes you decide to use what you learned (the false things) in life and apply it, so what happens later is having more conflicts in your mind. Leaving a meaningful life is one of the results that you can have from” inside success”. And it means when your feelings are balanced, and especially when your emotional pain is less. People can define outside success is when you are educated, having a good profession, and being financially independent. Inside success is usually defined when you are a person who lives in the moment, being someone who counts his blessings and a high spiritual person. And also there are some beliefs you can have that add value to your inner happiness and success. All positive beliefs are good for you, but in this book we are going to focus on NLP presuppositions and you will learn how to use them to live a balanced and meaningful life. Mental pain can be caused by many problems. It can be from your past, or worrying about the future, and especially when you do not do what it supposes to do in the present, and that is living in the moment. You still have

negative thoughts about the past and future. Not just any thoughts, you use the ones who are against the NLP presuppositions. Your negativity is caused by your negative beliefs. As a consequence, your mental health and your life, in general are not as you wanted. You might always judge other people and other circumstances about what is happening in your life and you don’t know that your mind is the only one who fights you. Mahatma Gandhi said:” Your beliefs become your thoughts, your thoughts become your words, your words become actions, your actions become your habits, your habits become your values, your values become your destiny.” Some false beliefs can be corrected by NLP presupposition. So the role of this book is to correct them and show you the right path for being a balanced person. Also if you want to live meaningfully in your personal or professional life. This book is for you if you want to learn NLP, especially if you want to know how to apply it. Also if you are stuck in having progress in your life and you want to learn how you can make your first steps to be better than yesterday.

WHAT IS NLP? When I was reading about NLP, I end up asking myself: so what is NLP? All the answers that I was finding were not that clear for me. The definitions were like rocket sciences. That is the formal definition of NLP that we usually see on courses and lessons. Neuro-Linguistic Programming is a pseudoscientific approach used in selfhelp and psychotherapy created by John Grinder and Richard Bandler in California, in the 1970s Neuro: (your thinking process) the way you use your senses to understand what’s happening around you. Linguistic: (the words you use) How you use language and how it influences you and those around you. It can be verbally or non verbally. Programming: (your behavior) how you organize your ideas and reactions, and how it affects you and others. Maybe you know what NLP is exactly, but for those who are complicated about the real meaning of it,(as I was before) this is some simple bullet point definitions. NLP is a tool to make a change to live a better life. NLP is a tool to change thoughts, beliefs, mindset… (Programming your mind) The way of programming is using a LANGUAGE that your mind understands. Your mind should affect your outer world. The language that your mind understands is usually IMAGINATION techniques or something that make you mind take action. You can practice NLP by yourself or with a professional.

You can think that your emotional state is caused by your outer situations and problems, and that is not true. The way that you see the problem is what causes you the bad feelings that you suffer from right now. Your thoughts and beliefs are controlling your feelings, not your outer problems. Maybe you have a nice house a nice car, good friends… but steel there is something inside you that makes you unhappy. Imagine you are about to give a speech in front of an audience, and you are so nervous about it. Your stress is caused by your thoughts. You are afraid that you are not good enough, or maybe you are afraid of something else like your appearance, your voice, your hair… so you think how the audience sees these things. Those negative thoughts cause you to stress even if that audience sees you in a good way. But your thoughts are telling you the opposite. Maybe you don’t say these things consciously, but your subconscious mind is there doing his bad job without your realizing it. It is all about your mind, and how your subconscious judges the things and events around you. The role of NLP is how you can make change a change inside you first. NLP can be used in the inner world or the outer world. In this book, you are going to focus on how you can make it in the inner world with the presuppositions.

WHAT IS “NLP PRESUPPOSITIONS”? Before explaining the meaning for you, you should know that NLP techniques practicing have not to do a lot with its presupposition. NLP techniques should be done with exercises like visualization. Presuppositions are not exercises or techniques. You know that I and you and all the people in this world see things differently, and the way that we see things is not necessarily the way things are. And I said this because it will help you a lot with your communication and relationship with yourself and with people, especially when it comes to understanding them. After all, the quality of our life is always going to be impacted by the quality and caliber of the relationships that we keep. When our relationship goes well our lives go well, and when our relationship goes not so well our lives have this tendency of going not so well. As human beings, we are relational beings and our overall effectiveness in our relationships is going to have an impact on pretty much every single other area in our lives. So the presuppositions that I’m going to share with you in the next chapters are of absolutely crucial importance. If you study NLP and you take nothing away from NLP lessons please take seriously what you are going to read in the next chapters. To emphasize the meaning clearly, NLP presuppositions are some “beliefs” that can help you break free from your limitations and supercharge you to live a balanced and meaningful life. For some people NLP presuppositions might just seem like nice ideas, other people may just say that those presuppositions are like positive thinking, but are not because you should take it seriously if you want to grow. In the definition, I used the word” beliefs” to make it clear to you, so I don’t want you to consider NLP presupposition as a “religion reality”, but you can

consider it as ways and attitudes to change your thinking instantly so you can access abundance and more opportunities in your life. And NLP presupposition you just take what it works for you, so you might disagree with some presuppositions and that is up to you, you might find that some of them are contradicted with some of your values… You are free in your beliefs, but try to be a person who sees things from different corners, and especially always asking questions about yourself and about how you see things. For this, it is called “presupposition”. When we suppose something we are assuming that something is true, and then we are building upon that.If the weatherman tells that is going to rain tomorrow then you presuppose that it is. You do not necessarily believe it is, and if it does not happen, it is not like you have to think that it is the end of the world. So what I’m going to ask you do before you get started reading these presuppositions are and what might mean for you, don’t take the mindset of agreement or disagreement. You are going to read right now approaches that you can take towards learning.

PRESUPPOSITION 1: THE MAP IS NOT THE TERRITORY The meaning: Imagine that it is a sunny day in Scotland. As you may know Scotland in a place where the climate is usually cold. A Scotsman who lives there says that the weather is warm if it is a sunny day. An Australian who lives in Scotland says that the weather is cold, and again as you may know a sunny day in Scotland seems like a cold day to someone from Australia where the climate is hot. Imagine that the Scotsman and the Australian meet together and start discussing and debating about how the weather it is. The Scotsman proves the weather is warm, and the Australian prove that the weather is cold. Each one of them tries to prove his POINT OF VIEW. This means each one of them tries to convince the other “HOW HE SEE THINGS”. Who do you think is correct? The answer is they are both correct. Each one of them say the truth from their perspective. Maybe you see that the debating between the Scotsman and the Australian is stupid, but let me tell you that there is a lot of people doing that by argument and presenting opinions about many things. Have you ever start discussing with a friend or a family member to improve something to them and you end up fighting? Probably yes. I know you think that the person whom you argue with is stupid. The bad news is he probably sees this as well. The good news is that you are right, and the bad news is he is also right. You are both right but from your perspectives. You are the same as the Scotsman

and the Australian which both are right. So the truth is not always what you think is right, but if we want to say what is true is, the truth is that you read these lines. The truth is you are concentrated or you are distracted. The truth is you are awake right now… What human beings does is represent the world that they live in internally to create their own personal and subjective realities, people respond to their internal experiences, not to the internal reality itself. Many people respond to their experience rather than reality itself. Two people can see the same event but both have two completely different responses to it. This is because we don’t have access to reality as it is, we do not know the reality. We experience reality through our senses, our filter systems, our beliefs, or I should say our personal “map” of reality which has an agenda written into it. The good news is that NLP in general will modify the “maps” that you have that are not working for you in life into something useful. You can add more data in and try laying on different meanings or enrich your mindset by drawing new comparisons. The problem with our understanding is that we don’t know what we don’t know. Have you ever meet a person who is pretending that he knows everything and that he is the smartest person? Probably yes, we all met that person who likes to make over him all the answers and make himself the smartest. The map is not the territory tells us that we don’t know what we don’t know. The same way that we can look at the map on our actual piece of paper, It shows us just how the territory looks like but it is the territory itself.

The action that you should take: There are several things that you should do if you want to “practice” this presupposition, and the first thing you should do is try to be modest and do not let your ego drive you and make you believe that you know everything. You should realize that you don’t know everything; you think that you know everything and that people should listen to you… Your ego makes you think like that. Sometimes you can have a problem and tried “everything” to solve it, but in reality, you didn’t, but your ego who told you that. Try to learn as much as you can, because you don’t know everything, and

you don’t know what you don’t know. Making learning a habit will teach you that you don’t know anything in reality in this life. When you are going to realize that you don’t know everything, then you should respect other opinions. I know sometimes when you hear an opinion from someone that opinion seems stupid to you, but before to start discussing and debating that person you should make yourself in his shoes, and try to think with his brain and see with his eyes. And don’t call him stupid or ignorant even if it is just in your imagination, because of this how he sees things. And guess what even if you think that your opinion is true, they are some other people that going to see your opinion is stupid, so learn how to respect other opinions.

The benefits that you are going to get: If you realize deeply that the map is not the territory you are going to know that your beliefs, knowledge, opinions… might be wrong, the same as you know that there is a lot of people who know false things. So you are not longer going to be prejudiced about your opinions. Your ego will not be that big, and as you may know, your big ego will not help you to have progress in your life. So remember that your ego is not your amigo. If you have a big ego, you will be stuck and limited in your beliefs, and if those beliefs are bad or toxic, your life will be bad and toxic. And remember that you might have false beliefs and you might not know, because your beliefs are not going to tell you. If you sometimes wonder why you have a bad life, realize that maybe your beliefs are bad. If you wonder why your life is negative, probably because your beliefs are negative. As you believe in your beliefs and you respect them, I want you to respect other people’s beliefs. And you should know that people usually don’t like when you disagree with them. And probably you are someone who doesn’t like someone to disagree with you. If you are a person who is opened to new beliefs and mindsets, you are going to be a good problem solver because this will lead you to try new solutions in everything, you no longer be that person who is pretending that he knows

everything but you are then a person who is always want to know more and not just rely on your map, but you always update your map so you can live a better life.

PRESUPPOSITION 2: PEOPLE ARE NOT THEIR BEHAVIORS The meaning: You as a person have nothing to do with your behavior. Your ethics have nothing to do if your behavior is appropriate or inappropriate.

The action that you should take: The thing that you should do with yourself is just changing your behavior, accept yourself how it is, but look at what you do and make a change if you need to. What you should do with people is to accept them. I know sometimes you see some of them are bad persons, but who are you to judge them? Just see them as a human being. You can refuse their behavior, you can correct them, but do not judge who they are inside themselves.

The benefits that you are going to get: You can understand that if you want to change your life you should change your behavior, or we can say our habits. And NLP seeks to help people understand and better appreciate how their habits and self-defeating behaviors are not cast in stone but are instead choices that can be modified at any given moment. (In this presupposition I didn’t give so many details because the next presupposition is very similar to this one, so in the next chapter I’m going to give clear details, and if you understood the next presupposition, you are

going to understand this one.)

PRESUPPOSITION 3: PEOPLE DO NOT HAVE BAD INTENTIONS “I still believe, despite everything, that people are truly good at heart” Anne Frank

The meaning: If I told you that all the people of all time have not bad intention your response will be:” BUT WHAT ABOUT THE MURDERS AND KILLERS AND RAPISTS THAT DO ALL THE BAD THINGS !!” Okay, do you remember the last presupposition? People are not their behavior so that means also that people do not have bad intentions. To understand more, take this example. I want you to remember when someday in the past you did something inappropriate. Do you think that you did it because you are a bad person? Probably not. Many people judge others by their behaviors, if he is doing a good thing, means that he is a good person, but if he is doing bad things so he is a bad person, and of course this is not right. Because people have nothing to do with their behaviors. Sometimes you can experience if you are angry so much you said a bad word even if you are a polite person, do you think when you said that that means that you are impolite? Of course not. But if someone judged you from your behavior he would say that you are not respectful and you are impolite. Just look a the thief when he steals something? Do you think that he did that because he is a bad person? Or because he wants just to feed himself. Of course, he did a bad behavior, but that doesn’t mean that he is a bad person. There are a lot of judgmental people, they always criticize people and gossip

them. But if you asked them to judge themselves they are going to tell they are angels. And I know there is a lot of people who call themselves innocents and “angels” even if they did bad things in the past, and if you asked how could you do this? Their answer will because of”wyz” situation, or because he needs to… and that is the point, his intention was not bad, but his behavior was bad. Just think about it, look at anyone who did something bad, do you think that he is really a bad person, or he did the bad thing because he has something missing in his life? I don’t say that bad behavior is ok, but if we analyze the reason why people have bad behaviors we are going to discover that inside of them had good intentions.

The action that you should take: Stop judging people if you see them doing bad things because you don’t know what inside this person. Judging people will make you a negative person and also will make you hated by people. Instead, judge yourself, and I don’t mean by doubting yourself, but try to change some bad behaviors and bad habits that you have. Try always to understand people and listen to them and that is very important to learn listening skills and communication skills in general, and that way you are going to earn their respect. If someone wants to ask for your help or advice don’t judge him if he told you something about his past. If you see someone did a bad behavior and you want to give him advice, don’t focus on why he did that thing but focus on his attention. For example, if you want to advise someone to stop stealing other’s stuff(which is a bad behavior), you should not judge him and say to him that he is a thief, but focus on his “good” intention on why he did that. You will know that he did that bad behavior because he needs money (good intention) So you can advise him of how he can make money by looking for a job or start a business.

The benefits that you are going to get: When you are going to realize that your intentions are good, then you will know that what you need is to change your behavior or your habits. And this

also what you are going to help people with and that is changing what they do everyday so they can improve if you are a coach or a mentor. You also will be positive about people, I mean you should relax because people are not bad, they maybe just having something missing in their life and they try getting it in the wrong way. So also you will know how to give the correct advice. The best thing you will be if you believe that people have not bad intentions is a forgiver one because you will know how the person that hurts you has not bad intentions.

PRESUPPOSITION 4: THE MEANING OF COMMUNICATION IS THE RESPONSE WE GET The meaning: Have you ever said something to someone and try to explain and emphasize to him (communication) but he misunderstood you or he understand something else different from what you want to tell him? For me, that happens a lot. And what I was doing is blaming them because I thought that was their fault, but in reality, it was my fault. Trying to send a message to someone is not just talking and using words, but it is the ability to translate your message into what you want to say to him. You can also experience when someone talks to you. When you misunderstand him, mean it is his fault that he doesn’t know how to communicate, but also try to help him by being a good listener.

The action that you should take: Realize that if someone misunderstood you in something you said, this means that you should improve a little bit of your communication, and while communicating, you should emphasize what you say, and also try to be clear of what you say with less talking because that will make the person that listens to you feels boring, so he's not going to listen to you. Some tips that I can give to you is first to try to make yourself in his shoes while you speak to someone. Always ask yourself if that person is intellectual, or if he is a smart person, or he is just someone that is

“ignorant”… Also, try to speak a little bit slowly so he can go with the flow with you, and don’t use some hard vocabularies (to look cool). Try to listen more than you speak, because that will make you understand the person more, and if it is available to you I suggest asking questions rather than give pieces of information because first you give him a chance to think more and find the answer by himself or you can understand him, because by questions you find answers. To be a good listener let me give you some tips. First, try to concentrate on what he says. Make eye contact with him, and try to visualize images in your mind of what he is saying to you. And don’t interrupt him while he is speaking, unless you want to ask something if you didn't understood.

The benefits that you are going to get: If you are a good communicator you will have good charisma and an attractive personality because you will not be that boring person that he always knows just to talk and talk. Also, people would like to share their secrets with you because you will seem like someone who respects people and their opinions. And this will make you a great coach or mentor. These benefits you will get also if you are a great listener. People will like you and respect you because you will know and understand what they want from you when you communicate with them.

PRESUPPOSITION 5: PEOPLE ARE ONE STRATEGY TO ACHIEVE ANYTHING The meaning: Sometimes you can see someone achieved something that you always wanted to achieve and then that envy starts within you, and also you feel that you will never achieve something great. Probably you experienced that before, but what if I told you that if that person achieved something, you can achieve it too. Sometimes your only problem us you think you don’t deserve it by saying:” Who hell am I to be like that person…” So what happens is your subconscious mind believes that success or anything you want to have you don’t deserve it. You should believe that if a person achieved or have something, you can have it.

The action you should take: You should know that everything is achievable if you put yourself into it. Don’t compare yourself to other successful people, instead go create your own succeess and your own influence. The one strategy to achieve anything is having or creating the ability to achieve or have what you want, and then you create the strategy, means the way that you are going to achieve it is having the desire to start your journey for success.

This was some advice for you to achieve some goals, but I’m afraid to say to you that this advice can be harmful to you especially if you have a big ego. You may always want to achieve what others want to achieve and forget what you have in your life of blessings. Also, the “bad side” of this presupposition is you will chase the goals that are not yours and are not going to make happy. For example, you want to be a doctor just because your cousin is a doctor, or just because your parents want you to be. So be careful of the goals you want to achieve in your life.

The benefits you are going to get: You will stop comparing yourself to others, and as you may know, the comparison will make you always empty and needy. With comparison, you will never be happy because you are going to feel that something is missing in your life. There will be no envy in your life, because of course you will know not to compare yourself to others, and you will know why you want exactly in your life if you work on your core values. And that’s what will lead you to your own success, not the success that others want for you nor the success that others achieved.

PRESUPPOSITION 6: ALL PROCESSES SHOULD PROMOTE PERSONAL GROWTH The meaning: There is a lot of processes that they teach in self-help or in any field that are useless. Of course, you may know some of the “fake gurus" that pretend they can solve your problem, but actually is just saying to you some tips that they nay never try and they just want to sell you something. Any process that you take in your life should promote your personal growth. This book should promote your personal growth, if it is not doing (if you don't take action) then this book is useless.

The action that you should take: All processes that you are going to learn and practice should promote personal growth. So that means you should know the information that you take so when you are going to practice it you will grow. Pay attention very much from who you learn, and from who you take advice. Because if it is from a wrong person, this advice will ruin you. And if you are learning, you love investing in yourself by reading books, taking courses, getting mentors, etc. Take action. Any information you take is useless unless you take action. Look at your habits and each thing you are doing in your life. Are they promote your personal growth? If not, It is time for you to change. As you may know, you are what you are doing everyday. Your habits in the

present will make you who you are. Just tell me what are you doing everyday and I will predict how you will be. For example, if you have the habit of reading in the present, you will be educated and a smart person. If you have the habit of exercising, you will be in good health and in good shape...

The benefits that you are going to get: If you choose the processes that promote personal growth, you will become a person who knows what he is doing every day. That means that you will become a wise person. By choosing the right processes you will become a master of your life. You know how to master your life and be successful depending on what processes you choose. By all of this, you will become the best version of yourself. By having and choosing good processes that promote personal growth means that you have good habits so you will become the best version of yourself.

PRESUPPOSITION 7: CALIBRATE ONLY ON BEHAVIOUR The meaning: This presupposition is different from number 2 “people are not their behavior”. We as human beings we know the person with his behavior, we can understand him or know his “problems” according to his behavior. Sometimes you can get some promises from people but when it comes to the commitment you see nothing. So you don’t believe those persons by their words but with their actions.

The action you should take: You should not try to understand the person by what he is saying, but try to know him and understand him by his behavior. But don’t judge him with his behavior only try to “analyze” him by what he is doing. This doesn’t mean that you should judge people with their behavior, because as I mentioned in presupposition 2: people are not their behavior. If you are a coach or a mentor or anyone who gives advice instead of asking “what are your struggles, why are feeling bad…” ask “what you do, what are your habits…”

The benefits you are going to get: You are going to be good at understanding people rather than judging them. You are not going to be a naïve person, because you will not calibrate people

by what they are saying or how they look like. All these things will lead you to have a great and strong personality, and also a wise person because you know how to judge and understand people. You will be a great helper because you know what is missing in someone’s life because of course, you cannot trust 100% someone speaks about himself

PRESUPPOSITION 8: PEOPLE ARE NOT BROKEN: The meaning: YOU ARE NOT BROKEN! I repeat: YOU ARE NOT BROKEN! I know that you disagree with me right now, this presupposition contradicts with a lot of psychology and philosophy schools of thought, and of course, anyone can disagree with you if you told him that you are not broken. And there is a lot of professional therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, counselours… that they want you to believe that you are broken so you will back to them session after session so they can make more money. To be honest I’m not here to convince you with something, because as we saw in the first presupposition that the map is not the territory, that means that what I believe is not what you believe. What I want you to do right now is focus in the next few lines and think if this presupposition serves you. If not, you are free in your beliefs, and of course, this applies in all NLP presuppositions. So you are not broken, what we mean exactly is that most of your pain in your life is just created in your mind. Actually, more than 90% of your pain is just created. If we saw at your outside world we are going to find that you live a good life and that your life is better than a lot of people around you. Just look at people who don’t a house where they can live, look at people that can’t have some food to eat… Your problem is always you see at people who have more than you, so what happens is that you compare yourself with them, and what happens to you is your mind beliefs that you are broken because you don’t what you don’t have. And the funny thing is that the people that don’t have what you have to

feel broken because they don’t have what you have. When you believe you are broken you just think yourself you are, but you are not, and that is a bad limiting belief.

The action you should take: You should stop your victim's mentality. You should stop always complaining about things that are not worthing yo complain about, something that is actually just created in your mind. And guess what the people that you complaining to are also “broken” so unfortunately, they cannot help you in most cases. I don’t say you should shut your mouth and not express your feelings and your pain to others but you should stop complaining about things and issues that do not exist in your life and that just exist in your mind. Sometimes complaining and having victim mentality will just make your life worst because you feed that limiting belief that you are broken, so that holds you back from moving forward in your life. What also you should stop is seeing what others have, and comparing your blessings to someones have more blessings than you. Because this will kill your happiness 100% and also you will always feel needy and you always will cry day and night because you don’t have that thing. Instead, be grateful for what you have no matter how small it is. Be grateful for everything, about the things that you have, about the lessons that you learned through your challenges in life… Do you know that your ego is your enemy? Because of your ego, you think that you are broken and you think that you need help more than anyone on this earth. Also, your ego makes you believe that you should have more things and live better than your friends or some people you know, as a consequence when you cannot achieve this you feel broken and depressed. So stop having a big ego and remember that your ego is not your amigo. Sometimes instead of complaining that you don’t have something, go achieve and have the thing that you want to have, and make as a goal to achieve because your actions determine where you are going to be and the things that you are going to have. But remember that your goals should not come from your ego like you want to achieve something just because you want to show off. And also your goals should be yours not for your parents of society, I mean that you should not be for example a doctor just because your parents

telling you to become one, but go achieve the goals that going to fulfill you and make you a happy person. Sometimes you can deal with serious mental health issues that require help, so then you can ask for help from a professional. But you should know is that you can solve this, you can be well, and actually, you are not broken from the outside world but you just need some help to move forward in life.

The benefits you are going to get: When you are going to realize that you are not broken, you are going to be a grateful person, so that will increase your happiness in your life. Also this will make your move forward instead of complaining and having a victim mentality. What also will have is not a big ego, and your ego will kill your happiness. Maybe your ego makes you sometimes feel good about yourself, but this is just for the short term. In the long term, your ego will make feel broken and miserable. And one of the other great benefits you will experience is that seeing things clearly in your mind, you will understand yourself better. Also, you will understand others better, which leads to other benefits and that knowing when to ask for help. You will know when you are really “broken” and need help, not just complaining about a simple problem and thinking that is the end of the world.

PRESUPPOSITION 9: PEOPLE WORK PERFECTLY TO PRODUCE THE RESULTS THEY ARE GETTING The meaning: You are a person who works perfectly, and even if you made mistakes in the past, you worked perfectly. I know that you made a lot of mistakes in the past and you regretted it. And I know if you just could have an opportunity to back to the past to change again your life. I know you wish that, but let me tell you that at that time when you made a mistake you did not the wrong thing. And what I mean is that you did the best action that you thought it is. Maybe the action that you think is supposed to be done that time is wrong, who knows? The mindset that you had that time is not the mindset that you have right now. For that, you think that you did not work perfectly in the past. What you should know is that you did a perfect work then, but right now you just change your mind about it.

The action you should take: Stop regretting about your actions in the past. I know that you think yourself stupid that time, but actually, you were not, you just did the best choice you have then, maybe just because you had a different mindset.

Be in the present, and live in the moment and take action proactively. If you live a bad life because a false past decision, you should make a change by the things you can control, and not by crying about the past. Of course, you should learn from your past mistakes, but the only thing you can do is make a change in the present.

The benefits you are going to get: You will be a person with more results and success. Imagine if you always think at your past mistakes, how you could move forward, and make a change? But if you focus on changing in the present and you took action, you will move forward and be a winner. What also will gain is the ability to let it go. And that means letting go of the past, letting go the bad memories, letting go of the past mistakes… So that leads you to live with good mental health. And concerning the mental health, living in the moment means that you are not going to back to the past with your mind, so the benefit here is learning mindfulness and living in the moment.

PRESUPPOSITION 10: THERE IS NO FAILURE, THERE IS ONLY FEEDBACK "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." Thomas Edison

The meaning: You probably in life deal with failing everytime. And of course like most of people you hate failing, and you look at it as it is the end of the goal that you want to achieve. But what if I told you that you had never failed, you just did things in a way that doesn’t work. A lot of people when they fail they give up immediately. They think that they failed, and that is not true. They failed because they didn’t try enough, or they always try the same thing. If you “failed” in something, you actually did not, you just did something wrong, if you did the right thing you will succeed. For me failing is not when something doesn’t work for you, but when you give up then you fail.

The action you should take: If you want to achieve a goal and you failed, again and again, stop doing the same thing over and over again, because this will just lead you to the same result. Instead, go try something new everytime until you find the right action to reach that goal. Now think at the difference between a mouse and a fly when they want to

escape from a room. The fly always wants to escape from the glass of the window and he repeats the same thing again and again so he never succeed to escape, and of course, it is easy to smash that fly on the glass of the window. Now think of the mouse when he escapes, he always tries to get out from different ways in the room, so that it is hard if us to catch a mouse when it is in a room. So think like a mouse not like a fly. When you fail ( I mean when you do something that doesn't work) you should learn from that. Ask yourself why you failed, what is the mistake that you made, how you can improve and how you can prevent that mistake again Realize that failures is the way for success and also it is the price that you should pay to succeed. So try and try and try and don’t give up.

The benefits you are going to get: Imagine that you are dealing with failures everytime, how you will become after many years of trying again and again ? You will become a person with experience, so you will master any area of your life. And also having a lot of experiences in life will make you a strong person emotionally and mentally. And the best in all of what I said is that someday you will win and achieve your dream that you worked a lot for it. And the success tastes better if you worked hard for it.

PRESUPPOSITION 11: WE ALL HAVE THE RESOURCES WE NEED “The greatest personal limitation is to be found not in the things you want to do and can’t, but in the things you’ve never considered doing” -Richard Bandler

The meaning: Are you stuck in life? Maybe you were. And probably you felt like you had no choice and no resources to solve your problem. But actually, you had and you have right now all the resources that you need. The problem here is when you make this limiting belief that you no resources and no choices and nothing. Human beings always had the resources they need, but the problem is you don’t see them because you have this limiting belief of non having resources. If you just think about for a moment and ask the right question for your problem solving or for your goal, you will find the resources you need.

The action you should take: Always ask questions on how you can solve this, or how you can achieve that goal, what is the best way for this… And don’t just be reactive of what is happening and do nothing about it, so go be proactive and make it. Be open to all options that you might have. Don’t be afraid to try new things. Just do it anyway and be optimistic about the outcome.

The benefits you are going to get: You will have resources just if you believe that you have it. And this is

serious because not having resources is when you believe that. So realizing that you have resources keeps you having more and more. The other benefit is that you will be a great problem solver, and that is because you know how to take action with the resources you see. And also you will know how to achieve anything in your life with your resources.

CONCLUSION This was NLP presuppositions. Some of them you disagree with, and some of them found it interesting, and some of them shocked you. And that is great. The reason why I showed you NLP presuppositions is not to make you believe them, but what I would suggest is take just the ones who serve you and you think that is missing in your life. Your beliefs are who you are, and how your life is. So by showing you those presuppositions, you can understand the best beliefs for you to live a balanced and meaningful life without limitations. Those presuppositions can bring freedom to your life, and you can live with peace inside your heart without being worried or anxious about something in your life. That feeling of freedom inside you cannot be achieved 7nless you have some beliefs and rules that break you free. NLP focuses more on your inside world and how you think, so your thoughts will make beliefs in your mind. So you are choosing what you believe, of course, experiences in life and parents and society have am effect, but also if you choose to subscribe to an opinion or a thought your mindset will reset. Stick to the beliefs that are true and serves you in life, and at the same time, you should stop thinking and thinking day and night if your opinion or mindset is true. Always be present at the moment and live peacefully without inner conflict. If you remember the first presupposition that the map is not the territory, I emphasized how everyone has his opinions and mindset (the map) but is not necessary that is true in life (the territory) so that means that your opinion is just an opinion but the reality is real. But everyone should be careful about what he beliefs. And the role of this book can show some of the beliefs that can serve if you see they can.

So remember to be free with your thinking, and take care with your mind by giving it good quality pieces of information and good quality beliefs.