Master Your Mind: Don't Believe Everything You Think - Master Your Life

Table of contents :
INTRODUCTION
CHAPTER ONE - HOW OUR MIND AFFECTS OUR LIVES
The Relationship Between Our Thoughts, Emotions, and Actions
How the Human Mind Works
The Brain
The Conscious, Subconscious, and Unconscious
Our Unconscious Mind
Examples of Unconscious Behavior
Our Subconscious Mind
Examples of Subconscious Behavior
Our Conscious Mind
Why Our Subconscious is Incredibly Powerful
The War Between Your Subconscious and Your Conscious Mind
CHAPTER TWO - THE MOST COMMON LIMITING BELIEFS THAT HINDER US FROM HAVING PRODUCTIVE LIVES
Family Values and Beliefs
Life Experiences
Education
Common Limiting Beliefs
Factors That Stop Us from Reaching Our Goals
Perfectionism
Fear of Failure
Being Too Focused on Results
Taking Big Steps
Excuses
Procrastination
Unrealistic Expectations
Distractions
Inconsistency
CHAPTER THREE - DEALING WITH ANALYSIS PARALYSIS
Why do we easily fall into analysis paralysis?
How does analysis paralysis feel?
What characteristics cause people to get stuck in analysis mode?
Having a Fixed Mindset
Perfectionism
People-Pleasing
Uncertainty or a Lack of Confidence
Empathy
Controlling analysis paralysis
Recognize That You’re in a Bad Place
Allow Yourself to be Adaptable
Have Faith in your Capabilities
Quit Seeking the Opinions of Other People
Stop Thinking Too Much About the Future and Concentrate on the Present.
CHAPTER FOUR - MIND TRANSFORMATION THROUGH POSITIVE THINKING AND SELF-TALK
What is Positive Thinking?
10 Benefits of Positive Thinking
Six Strategies to Positive Thinking
How to Identify Negative Thoughts
Life Challenges
Constantly Polarizing Our Thoughts
Examples of positive thinking
Attempting a New Activity
Leaving Your Safe Space
Incorporating Positive Thinking into Your Life
Learn to Laugh in Tough Situations
Positive Self-talk
What is self-talk?
Self-criticism
Self-confidence
Benefits of Positive Self-Talk
Controlled Stress
Improved Emotional Well-Being
Rising Self-Assurance
Stronger Relationships
How to Improve Your Self-Talk
Journaling
Turn Negatives into Positives.
Rephrasing Statements of Limitation into Questions
Morning Affirmations
Self-Love Affirmations
Success Affirmations
Health Affirmations
Affirmations for Anxiety
CHAPTER FIVE - FIXED MINDSET VS. GROWTH MINDSET
The distinction between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset
A fixed mindset is limiting. A person with a fixed mindset believes that:
Freedom comes from a growth mindset. A person with a growth mindset believes that:
Disadvantages of a Fixed Mindset
Five Effective Strategies to Shift a Fixed Mindset to A Growth Mindset
How You Can Promote a Growth Mindset
CHAPTER SIX - DEVELOPING SUCCESSFUL HABITS
Wanting to Be Liked and Accepted First.
Always Pointing the Finger at Others.
Unclear Goals
Neglecting Your Physical Well-being
Doubting Your Abilities
Doing Nothing
Feeding Distractions
Comparing Yourself Unfavorably with Others
Staying in Your Comfort Zone
Always Seeking Perfection
Always Waiting for the Right Moment
Reckless Spending
Thinking Talent Supersedes Hard Work
Being Unable to Recognize When to Let Go
Refusing to Learn Something New
Failing to Ask Questions
Not Admitting When You’re Wrong
Inability to Move on After a Setback
How to Develop Successful Habits
Rearrange Your Morning Rituals
Start Keeping a Journal.
Get a New Perspective on Life by Traveling.
Be Accountable
Learn What's Triggering Your Negative Habits, and Do Something About It.
Set a Target that You Can Reach
Do Something Nice for Others
Seek the Support of Your Loved Ones
Meditation
Put Down the Phone
Alter Your Routines
Don’t Beat Yourself Up When You Make a Mistake
Stay Away from People Who Prompt You to Make Bad Choices
CONCLUSION
Your Mind Is Your Most Powerful Weapon
REFERENCES

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MASTER YOUR MIND - MASTER YOUR LIFE -

Don't Believe Everything You Think

JOHN WILLSON

Published by: www.bookyourdestiny.com

ISBN First Edition: 2022 © Copyright 2021 by Book Your Destiny - All rights reserved. The content contained within this book may not be reproduced, duplicated or transmitted without direct written permission from the author or the publisher. Under no circumstances will any blame or legal responsibility be held against the publisher, or author, for any damages, reparation, or monetary loss due to the information contained within this book; either directly or indirectly. Cover: Frank Cant Layout: Yuki Yishida All designs and pictures are property of Book Your Destiny or the source indicated

DISCLAIMER Please note the information contained within this document is for educational and entertainment purposes only. All effort has been executed to present accurate, up-to-date, and reliable, complete information. No warranties of any kind are declared or implied. Readers acknowledge that the author is not engaging in the rendering of legal, financial, medical or professional advice.

TABLE OF CONTENTS INTRODUCTION CHAPTER ONE - HOW OUR MIND AFFECTS OUR LIVES The Relationship Between Our Thoughts, Emotions, and Actions How the Human Mind Works The Brain The Conscious, Subconscious, and Unconscious Our Unconscious Mind Examples of Unconscious Behavior Our Subconscious Mind Examples of Subconscious Behavior Our Conscious Mind Why Our Subconscious is Incredibly Powerful The War Between Your Subconscious and Your Conscious Mind CHAPTER TWO - THE MOST COMMON LIMITING BELIEFS THAT HINDER US FROM HAVING PRODUCTIVE LIVES Family Values and Beliefs Life Experiences Education Common Limiting Beliefs Factors That Stop Us from Reaching Our Goals Perfectionism Fear of Failure Being Too Focused on Results Taking Big Steps Excuses Procrastination

Unrealistic Expectations Distractions Inconsistency CHAPTER THREE - DEALING WITH ANALYSIS PARALYSIS Why do we easily fall into analysis paralysis? How does analysis paralysis feel? What characteristics cause people to get stuck in analysis mode? Having a Fixed Mindset Perfectionism People-Pleasing Uncertainty or a Lack of Confidence Empathy Controlling analysis paralysis Recognize That You’re in a Bad Place Allow Yourself to be Adaptable Have Faith in your Capabilities Quit Seeking the Opinions of Other People Stop Thinking Too Much About the Future and Concentrate on the Present. CHAPTER FOUR - MIND TRANSFORMATION THROUGH POSITIVE THINKING AND SELF-TALK What is Positive Thinking? 10 Benefits of Positive Thinking Six Strategies to Positive Thinking How to Identify Negative Thoughts Life Challenges Constantly Polarizing Our Thoughts Examples of positive thinking Attempting a New Activity Leaving Your Safe Space

Incorporating Positive Thinking into Your Life Learn to Laugh in Tough Situations Positive Self-talk What is self-talk? Self-criticism Self-confidence Benefits of Positive Self-Talk Controlled Stress Improved Emotional Well-Being Rising Self-Assurance Stronger Relationships How to Improve Your Self-Talk Journaling Turn Negatives into Positives. Rephrasing Statements of Limitation into Questions Morning Affirmations Self-Love Affirmations Success Affirmations Health Affirmations Affirmations for Anxiety CHAPTER FIVE - FIXED MINDSET VS. GROWTH MINDSET The distinction between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset A fixed mindset is limiting. A person with a fixed mindset believes that: Freedom comes from a growth mindset. A person with a growth mindset believes that: Disadvantages of a Fixed Mindset Five Effective Strategies to Shift a Fixed Mindset to A Growth Mindset How You Can Promote a Growth Mindset CHAPTER SIX - DEVELOPING SUCCESSFUL HABITS

Wanting to Be Liked and Accepted First. Always Pointing the Finger at Others. Unclear Goals Neglecting Your Physical Well-being Doubting Your Abilities Doing Nothing Feeding Distractions Comparing Yourself Unfavorably with Others Staying in Your Comfort Zone Always Seeking Perfection Always Waiting for the Right Moment Reckless Spending Thinking Talent Supersedes Hard Work Being Unable to Recognize When to Let Go Refusing to Learn Something New Failing to Ask Questions Not Admitting When You’re Wrong Inability to Move on After a Setback How to Develop Successful Habits Rearrange Your Morning Rituals Start Keeping a Journal. Get a New Perspective on Life by Traveling. Be Accountable Learn What's Triggering Your Negative Habits, and Do Something About It. Set a Target that You Can Reach Do Something Nice for Others Seek the Support of Your Loved Ones Meditation

Put Down the Phone Alter Your Routines Don’t Beat Yourself Up When You Make a Mistake Stay Away from People Who Prompt You to Make Bad Choices CONCLUSION Your Mind Is Your Most Powerful Weapon REFERENCES

INTRODUCTION "Why is my life so messed up?" said Jason as he lay on his queen-sized bed after a hard day's work. He couldn't figure out why happiness and good things seemed to elude him all the time. He hated his job even though it paid his bills. He always felt mentally and emotionally drained at the end of his daily activities. He thought he probably needed to change his environment and could do with a weekend vacation to the Bahamas. He was due for a promotion, and it would come with extra perks. The thought of it made him happy for a time but the feeling of unfulfillment returned with him. He constantly felt his life was incomplete and that he wasn’t where he needed to be. If only he could get that big promotion…. if only he was the CEO…. if only he had millions of dollars in his account….if only he had not missed out on opportunities early in his life. Turning to his side, Jason tried in vain to fall asleep with a throbbing headache for the fifth time in a week. This had become his daily ritual; have a grueling day at work and battle with a myriad of negative thoughts. Sounds painfully similar, doesn’t it? How many times do we spend our nights in a sea of negative thought and end up with migraines and insomnia? We

think about our lives and ponder on how we can make our circumstances better. If only we can land that job, or get that promotion, or move to that city, then everything will be fine. Unfortunately, these external things only offer temporary fulfillment. The key to having a better life is actually in between our ears. Few people have learned how to harness the power of their mind to create the life they want. But this is a major key to success. Powerful and successful men like Brian Tracy, Warren Buffet, Bill Gates all share a common secret: positive thinking and mind mastery. We have no idea how powerful our mind is and how much it can change our lives for the better or for the worse. The key to the life we are looking for is in our mindset. I have been in that cycle of anger, unfulfillment and dissatisfaction before. It took a lot of hard lessons and study to finally realize that the solution to my problems was in my mindset and thought patterns. That is why I wrote this book. I know how frustrating it can be to be locked in a never-ending cycle of unfulfillment and I want to show you the way out. You’ll discover the power of positive thinking and how much it can change your life. In chapter one, we’ll see how much our mind affects our lives and how this amazing tool works. Afterwards, we’ll see the various limiting beliefs that hinder us from being successful. In chapter three, we’ll talk about how to deal

with analysis paralysis. Chapter four will take us into the world of positive thinking and positive self-talk. In this chapter we’ll do some exercises on positive self-talk. Afterwards, we’ll discuss fixed mindset and growth mindsets and finally, we’ll talk about the habits that will ensure success in our lives. It’s going to be an exciting and life-changing journey, but you must commit to using the strategies in this book. This book will be your guide as you learn to master your mind and your life. Now, flip the page and let's get started!

CHAPTER ONE - HOW OUR MIND AFFECTS OUR LIVES

A

popular adage has been acknowledged as absolute truth by the most illustrious minds and achievers of the past and today. It's the statement, "You are what you think."

For the English philosopher James Allen, "as a man thinks, so he is; as he continues to think, so he remains." Marcus Aurelius, a Stoic and Roman emperor, once said, "A man's life is what he makes of it." Ralph Waldo Emerson, the poet, and philosopher, once said, "A man is what he thinks about all day long." As Earl Nightingale once observed, we are what we constantly think about, and Mark Twain said it best: "Life is largely the whirlwind of thoughts that is eternally running through one's head." As these thinkers have found, to be successful, fulfilled, and content with our existence, we must first realize that we exist in a world of thought. So, we tend to live out the contents of our minds. The quality of our lives directly reflects the quality of our thinking. However, when we are dissatisfied with our lives, we consider making external changes. We believe that if we work to improve our environment and circumstances, we can bring about the kind of change we seek. We look

for a dose of fleeting pleasure. We try to get away from it all by traveling. We actively seek out narcotics to alleviate mental anguish and induce long-term forgetfulness. Naturally, after doing all this, we end up right back where we started: dissatisfied and angry with our lives. That's how the loop keeps going. We try to improve our situations by changing things on the outside—buying expensive stuff, going somewhere, or forgetting. The erroneous belief that changes must come from the outside causes this unending cycle of pain. Although external factors can impact your feelings, adjusting your surroundings won't fix what's causing those feelings—your thoughts. You must alter your inner self to affect change on the outside. You need to redirect your mental energy because your thoughts determine your emotions, your emotions determine your physical responses, your physical responses determine your behavior, and your behavior ultimately determines who you are and what you get out of life. Your life is a direct result of the thoughts you've been actively having; you truly are what you've been thinking about.

The Relationship Between Our Thoughts, Emotions, and Actions Mindless thinking accomplishes nothing; it is only when we give our full attention to a thought that it takes on a life of its own and seems to have

substance. When we focus on particular thoughts, we enter the emotional state associated with those thoughts, which affects how we behave. For example, if you dwell on the idea that you're a failure and give it more attention, you'll eventually feel sad, worthless, discouraged, and hopeless. Conversely, if you focus on positive, uplifting thoughts, you'll feel better about yourself and your abilities, which will show up physically as a more confident, optimistic, and energized posture and state of mind. Thoughts trigger emotions, and the vibrational frequency of those emotions’ feeds back into the original concept. To fuel the fire, our continued focus on the original concept reinforces the associated emotion. So, we are in a neverending loop of contemplation and emotion. This is why you feel different emotions like stress, depression, discouragement, happiness, energy, confidence, etc. Thoughts and emotions affect bodily responses, affecting behavior and choices. In this way, your thoughts become your physical world. Since your identity and life experiences are built on your thoughts, feelings, and actions, your behavior and actions are where your true self is revealed. The issue is not that you failed in business but rather that you interpreted that failure as such. The problem is not that you dislike your job and blame your professional choices for it; the problem is how you think about it.

All our troubles stem from our physical and mental responses to the thoughts that cause them. Therefore, if we pay attention to and alter our perception, we can alter our emotional response, which alters our physical response, behavior, and experience of the world. That's why genuine transformation has to start from within rather than without. To paraphrase the author, Michael Neill, we spend all our time, money, and energy attempting to change our experience on the outside, not comprehending that the whole thing is projected from the inside out. Therefore, if you believe you are a failure, you will act according to that belief. If you dwell on the idea that you are a failure, you will continue to have negative experiences, which will only further solidify your conviction that you are, in fact, a failure. It's called a thought pattern, and it may ruin your life. Psychologist John Arden states that "the more you do something, the more likely you are to do it again in the future" in his book Rewire Your Brain. Repeated actions form habits because the brain's neural pathways are altered over time. Neurons are more likely to continue firing in a coordinated fashion if they do so frequently. Emotions result from a chemical reaction in the brain, set off by every idea we have. When we focus on this idea, a new neural pathway triggers a certain

physiological response. It's only through habitual practice that this routine can become deeply ingrained in our minds. For this reason, "cells that fire together wire together," as the neuroscientific community puts it. Repeating the same behaviors, ideas, and feelings reinforces the same circumstances in your life. When we regularly think, feel, and act similarly, our minds store that information as a blueprint for future use. What exactly does our unconscious mind do? Over ninety-five percent of our daily activities are now automated. Dr. Bruce Lipton states, "Neuroscientists have revealed that 95% of brain activity is beyond our conscious awareness, which indicates that 95% of our lives are programmed in our subconscious mind." This is why it's so challenging to effect change. Since these ways of thinking have become so ingrained in our personalities, we can no longer see past them. Our habits of thought gave credence to our views, and our convictions grew to characterize who we are and the world we inhabit. Amy Morin, a psychologist, says, "Once you conclude yourself, you are inclined to do two things: hunt for data that strengthens your idea and disregard anything that runs contrary to your belief." If you tell yourself you're not good enough, you'll use every slip-up as confirmation of that belief. You will attribute your successes to chance, even though you know

otherwise. Thus, it is through our mental processes that our world is brought into existence. As long as you keep telling yourself that you're a failure, that's exactly what you'll keep doing: believing it and acting on it. You’ll end up getting trapped in a cycle of self-pity.

How the Human Mind Works Let's get a little more scientific and talk about what's happening in our heads. So, imagine your brain as a computer; your brain is the hardware. You can find all the circuitry, storage, memory, and processing power necessary for your life in your brain. The mind is the software or the brain's operating system. It collects, stores, and manages data using the brain's immense computational power. Your mind and brain are two aspects of the same thing, and you can't have one without the other.

The Brain The neurons that make up your brain and the rest of your central nervous system number around 100 billion. In essence, your thoughts, emotions, actions, and the body's involuntary processes are the electrochemical signals sent and received by these neurons. Putting that number into perspective, one hundred billion grains of sand would take up about five million teaspoons (or two baths) and weigh about two metric tons. However, despite having 100 billion neurons, your brain is

only about the size of a cauliflower and weighs only 3 pounds. Our minds, like the software in our brains, creates our thoughts, as I've previously explained. Our mind has multiple levels of awareness, the nature of which we need to understand fully.

The Conscious, Subconscious, and Unconscious

The conscious, the subconscious, and the unconscious are all states of awareness. In a nutshell, our very being, including our thoughts, deeds, and awareness, is defined by our consciousness. What we call "subconscious" are the responses and behaviors we become aware of only after they have already occurred in our minds. The term "unconscious" refers to the hidden parts of our minds where our memories and experiences are stored. Our Unconscious Mind In contrast to our conscious mind, where our emotions and thoughts are

easily accessible, our unconscious mind operates on a more fundamental level. Because the subconscious is not a neuroanatomical structure, scientists agree that measuring what goes on in it is extremely challenging, if not impossible. The unconscious operates instinctively and because it happens below the threshold of conscious awareness, human thought cannot investigate it. However, scientists speculate that people's actions may be influenced by their subconscious. All of our suppressed emotions and thoughts, as proposed by Freud, are kept in the unconscious. These mental and emotional states are not limited to abnormal circumstances but can also appear daily. As an example, the aroma of alcohol can bring up repressed hatred toward one's father's alcoholism. Although it may be challenging to quantify the unconscious, Freud theorized that we could access it through psychoanalysis. It is believed that repressed emotions and thoughts lie at the heart of many psychological problems, and psychoanalysis can help "lure" them to the surface.

Examples of Unconscious Behavior Unconscious behavior includes repressed emotions, automatic responses, complexes, and hidden fears. Historically, people have believed that a divine force was responsible for emotions, ideas, and reactions beneath the threshold of human awareness.

The Freudian slip is a classic case of unconscious behavior. It's common for people to mix up their memories or words, like when they refer to their exspouse by the wrong name or when they use the wrong word. Listeners often interpret these slip-ups as an indicator of the speaker's true feelings. Despite popular belief to the contrary, Freud believed that accidents revealed more about a person than was initially apparent. The Freudian slip, it is said, reveals a person's true, hidden emotions and thoughts. Some research has been done to determine whether or not these types of verbal and memory blunders have any connection to the unconscious. People with more repressed emotions and thoughts are hypothesized to make more grammatical mistakes in their speech. Our Subconscious Mind The subconscious mind, a secondary system, controls everything in our lives. The term "subconscious" refers to the parts of our minds not currently receiving conscious attention. As our senses constantly bombard our brains with new information, a mental barrier forms to protect our processing capacity. But this barrier isn't perfect; it doesn't stop everything. The brain files the data away for easy access at a later time. You've probably heard the adage, "The human mind can't forget anything." The subconscious acts as a filter,

preventing us from being overwhelmed by external stimuli. Examples of Subconscious Behavior We tend to perform actions without consciously deciding to, but we can always change these habits. Breathing is an example of an automatic process. Breathing requires no conscious effort, but the rate and rhythm of our breathing are under our control. Subconscious behavior also includes, but is not limited to, automatic memories and abilities. A pianist or typist can play a piece without looking at the keyboard. An automatic skill was once learned, but the need for conscious thought has been eroded through repeated practice. One more characteristic of the subconscious is an aversion to change. Humans have a hardwired instinct to survive, but these natural reactions don't always serve us well. Instincts are automatic responses that guide our actions without conscious thought. But instincts aren't always correct. The search for happiness may seem good, but the necessary transformation may be too difficult or painful to bear. Although conscious reasoning may tell us that taking a risk would be beneficial, our subconscious may tell us otherwise. Our Conscious Mind The term "conscious mind" refers to the portion of the mind in charge of reasoning, paying attention, and rational thought. For instance, the conscious mind does the calculation and provides the result if someone is asked to solve

a math problem. It is also known to control all of the routine actions that we choose to undertake voluntarily. It is called the guardian of the human intellect. It also keeps tabs on and interacts with the world and inner self through receptive sensations, ideas, speech, drawings, writing, and physical actions. According to the most recent study investigations, the subconscious mind, which controls how we behave, is highly reliant on the conscious mind. Both the subconscious and the unconscious are separate phenomena. The unconscious operates spontaneously and cannot be accessed through reflection. In contrast, the subconscious is a portion of our consciousness that is not constantly under our conscious control. Through introspection, you can determine your subconscious, from which you can infer your subconscious motivations or impulses. For lack of a better phrase, the unconscious cannot be "summoned." For instance, while changing how you breathe is simple, determining the source of deep-seated anxiety is far more difficult. Because of their slight distinctions, it's not uncommon for people to use the terms synonymously. The easiest way to comprehend them is to visualize an iceberg. The conscious can be seen; however, the subconscious and unconscious are hidden and deeper.

When the whole thing is put together, an iceberg is bigger than what the naked eye can see. However, there is more than what is seen, including both the tip and what follows. Why Our Subconscious is Incredibly Powerful What is the big deal with the subconscious, and why is it critical to grasp? The subconscious mind, it seems, is in charge of just about everything. Though we like to believe otherwise, our actions are not always the result of our own deliberate choices. That's right; our daily conscious activity amounts to only about 5%. Everything else is going on beneath the surface, and the subconscious mind is in charge. Most of what we do, feel, and act on occurs automatically and without conscious awareness or control. And let's be honest, many of us could use a little help from a mind update because so many of our beliefs work against us even when we don't realize it. As such, this is the doorway to the lasting transformation you seek. If you can decipher the workings of your mind, you can exert tremendous influence on your own life. Doesn't that sound amazing? Your Subconscious Mind is Incredibly Reliable. The subconscious will ensure you react the same way you've been taught to.

Everything you say and do will begin to take on a form consistent with your beliefs. It lacks the capacity for rational thought and instead follows the instructions the conscious mind gives. (This is why we must pay close attention to what we direct it to do!) Your conscious mind is like the gardener, while the soil is your subconscious mind. The subconscious accepts as lawful any directive from your conscious mind. It is a diligent worker that never questions its instructions and spends all day, every day, maintaining consistency with what it already knows. Depending on the ideas we feed it, it will either produce beautiful flowers or destructive weeds. How Do We Develop Subconscious Habits? Our mind is like a programmable "hard drive" onto which our life experiences are downloaded. Having learned something once, the unconscious tends to recycle that information. The mind is like a sponge; it takes information from all experiences and stores it away for future use. The brain forms associations between the various senses. Most of these connections and programs are formed in our early years, especially before the age of seven. The first seven years of a person's existence are prime time for social learning, as the brain is wired to absorb information simply by seeing others (mostly our parents, siblings, and

community). Because full conscious awareness doesn't appear until around age 7, this takes place in a hypnotic theta brain state. So, almost all of our daily motivation comes from outside sources we downloaded as kids. Our lives, activities, and behaviors in the world are all controlled by the routines we've picked up from our families and communities. While it's great to make a concerted effort to pursue our passions and make positive changes in our lives, doing so can be challenging because we're still using the learned behaviors and thought patterns of others. Keep in mind that this is all occurring below your consciousness level. We internalize the most fundamental examples of behavior, thought, and attitude we encounter during our formative years. Once ingrained in the mind's memory bank, these patterns govern our behavior and biology unless we actively work to change them. Your Subconscious is Making Daily Decisions. Instantaneous evaluation. The tune you hear every time the elevator doors close. The yearning to switch from Sprite to Coke or from a car to a truck. You have a strong aversion to roses but a soft spot for tulips. You are either enraged or aroused by the look on your lover's face. These seemingly unrelated happenings show a rich inner life beyond conscious, rational

cognition. The vast majority of our constant, minute-to-minute activity is completely unconsciously performed. It's easy to see how gaining insight into the workings of the mind could prove beneficial. It's possible, though, for the mind and the psyche to hold divergent views.

The War Between Your Subconscious and Your Conscious Mind Have you ever set out to do something and then found ways to destroy your efforts at every turn? Yes, it isn't very pleasant. You are not broken or flawed; you are merely going through a period of mental strife. No matter how much effort you've put into changing your situation, if you're still not where you want to be, it's probably because of pre-existing, deeply ingrained subconscious patterns. In a valiant effort to keep you secure and in harmony with its holdings, the subconscious is resistant to change. Even if you're consciously thrilled by the prospect of change, your unconscious may be plotting all sorts of wacky hijinks to keep you firmly planted in the familiar. The unconscious clings to the familiar due to the "secondary gain" it provides. In other words, even if you desperately desire to make a change, your mind will do whatever it can to prevent you from doing so. (Hint: It

usually has to do with protection or survival.) Considering this while experiencing pain is quite challenging, and I know this from experience. It can be difficult to think of any positive outcomes if you're dealing with a serious health issue or persistent sleeplessness. However, you can alter your subconscious and alter your life. We'll get to this in the next few chapters.

CHAPTER TWO - THE MOST COMMON LIMITING BELIEFS THAT HINDER US FROM HAVING PRODUCTIVE LIVES

A

limiting belief is one that you hold as true but prevents you from reaching your full potential. It is a self-fulfilling prophecy that keeps you stuck in your current identity and hinders you

from growing into your full potential. The limiting ideas you hold about yourself, the world, and your existence are concealed in your mind. Defense mechanisms are another term for the psychological coping tactics that your mind employs in the background to help you deal with stress and challenging emotions. It frightens me to think that you are capable of doing this. Your self-defeating beliefs have many origins. It helps to understand how and why they formed to defeat self-limiting ideas. Some common factors that lead to limiting beliefs are:

Family Values and Beliefs Before you were born, your parents and other family members instilled a system of beliefs and values in you. Whether they do so intentionally or not, our families have the first influence on our emerging worldview as children.

A grandmother may think about how "wealthy people" are different from "normal people." A father's emphasis on godliness and duty could have a chilling effect on his child's conscience. Because of the perceived prestige and financial security that comes with a white-collar profession, a mother may encourage her children to pursue it with all their might. Likely, they held these ideas and then passed them on to you. They could be about a person's ideal job, favorite band, or favorite pastime. Over time, you internalize the limiting views held by your family.

Life Experiences It's impossible to go through life without feeling anything, and you can always recall those emotions. The choices you make in the future are determined by the lessons you draw from your past. Perhaps you had to deal with the frustration of trying something new, like a car with a manual transmission. You might turn down the chance to do something again because you have bad memories of your earlier attempt.

Education Your beliefs are shaped by the people you learn from, whether they are professionals or members of your immediate or extended social circle. When someone's job is to teach you something, you tend to take in what they teach. You're more likely to take what a teacher tells you seriously if they're someone you respect and appreciate.

Common Limiting Beliefs What do limiting beliefs look like in practice now that you know what they are and where they originate from? Here are 15 examples of limiting beliefs: 1. I can't How often do you convince yourself that you can't accomplish something? One way limiting ideas hold you back is by making you forget that you even have a choice in the matter. You can always choose to get the knowledge and skills necessary to do what you currently lack. It's impossible to do something for someone at the moment if it's something you don't want to do, such as because it's an inconvenient time. If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything. 2. I don't have time Maybe you don't have the time right now. There is a constant sense of urgency in our lives as we all hurry from one activity to the next. You will never have (or make) time for what you want if you constantly tell yourself that you don't. Also staying where you are because you think you don't have time to do anything about it is futile. Time indeed exists, but how you spend it is a social construction. An honest accounting of your time usage will reveal how much you spend on things that don't advance your goals or enrich your life.

By ditching the things that aren't fulfilling your soul, you'll be able to focus on what counts, like getting that job promotion. 3. I can't because... By justifying your "I can't" with a rationale, you're giving that self-limiting idea even more strength. Particularly when the justification begins with "I am," this is the case. "I am" statements reveal something essential about your identity. When I was younger, I used excuses like, "I can't give a major presentation because I'm not outgoing." If I hadn't pledged to a friend, I wouldn't have realized how wrong my limiting belief was and how much it was holding me back. 4. Before I do... I need to change so and so… If you think you're not prepared for anything or need to alter or fix something before you can move on, you're setting yourself up for failure. Instead, focus on what it is you desire and use that pursuit as a means of working toward your goals. Do not put your life, love, or profession on hold while you diet, recover, or acquire 200 new abilities. Move forward and take action when you understand that this limiting thought prevents you from reaching your objectives and realizing your dreams.

5. I'm not good enough If you feel like you're not good enough, it's probably because you've been put down by others or compared to those who are more skilled than you. You need only believe this about one or two areas of your life in which you lack confidence because you lack the requisite skills or talents. Or it can be systemic, permeating every facet of your existence and leaving you feeling inadequate. Perfectionism, worry, and procrastination are all symptoms of a lack of confidence in one's abilities. But as your awareness of yourself grows, you realize that you truly are adequate. 6. I don't need help Where did you get the idea that asking for assistance is a sign of weakness? Or that if you need help, you aren't competent or worthy. Maybe you don't want to inquire because you feel bad about it. Simply put, we're all in need of assistance. You have a noble desire to work hard and make an honest effort to succeed, but it is also admirable that you recognize and seek assistance when you need assistance. When someone seeks assistance, do you judge them? No, you don’t. You need to get used to needing help and accepting it.

7. Everyone else has their life figured out Oh, if only this were true. Most people don't have their lives together and don't know what they're here for. But I can see why you could conclude that other people do (even though you don't). You see happy, carefree people enjoying their best lives as you go through your social media accounts. It's also tempting to look at their lives and think yours is boring in comparison. However, those profiles are designed to look flawless. This is all there is to it. Something imagined. That's not the case. So, center your attention on yourself. Don't pretend to be anything you're not. And turn inward as you give up the illusion that everyone else has it all figured out. 8. I don't know what I need or what I want When asked to describe what we want out of life, most of us tend to be much more confident when describing what we don't want. Complaining about the things that aren't going well in your life allows you to avoid taking responsibility for them (and becoming a victim). The truth is that you know what you want deep down. It's time to take chances, make progress, and realize that everything is possible now. 9. There’s nothing special about me…. I’m just like everyone else

You're not like everyone else; you have your unique qualities. But if you have this false belief, you assume that you have nothing unique to give the world compared to other family members or people in your field. However, the reality is that you, like every other individual, are special in your way. You are special in your way, bringing something special to the table for the people in your life. Your perspective on the world is unique because of your one-of-a-kind accumulation of knowledge and experience. 10. People will judge me Being judged is a terrible feeling. And you undoubtedly think that people are constantly evaluating your every move. Constantly reminding yourself that other people are judging you only reinforces that idea. The opinions and feelings of others are not within my sphere of influence, and I have had to learn this the hard way. I can do nothing if they're set on having a negative impression of me, but I can try to change their opinions. You know what else? No worries there. What counts more are my perceptions and thoughts about myself. It's essential to learn not to judge myself or worry about what other people think of me, and I need to be my best friend. 11. I failed

Do you easily pick yourself up and try again when you've "failed" at something? It's quite unlikely. Because of your inability to achieve your goals, you feel helpless and like a total failure. Even if the outcome wasn't what you had hoped for, you shouldn't consider the effort a failure. Shift your perspective. Don't let the fact that you messed up discourage you from giving it another shot; instead, focus on what you learned. Apply the knowledge you gained and give it another shot. 12. I'm stupid If you constantly label yourself as foolish or an idiot whenever you make a mistake, you'll never do anything that could lead to more blunders. Being limited in this way prevents you from venturing outside of your safe, "smart" zone. However, blunders are inevitable because they're how we grow and develop. Making a blunder is a step toward the desired outcome and success. Hence, refrain from using the phrase "I'm stupid," even facetiously. Keep in mind that you have progressed since you know what not to do and still have something to learn. 13. I don't have money Money becomes a barrier when you let the thought that you don't have

enough of it prevent you from taking action. Rather, it's a window of opportunity. It's a chance to examine your spending habits, identify areas where you can reduce costs, be inventive, and test out something new. Don't let the thought that you might fail stop you in your tracks; you have nothing to lose. Just try it and see what happens. 14. It's not possible for me It's self-defeating to think that other people can achieve great things, but you can't. You should ask why. Have you found that most people are wiser than you? Who got luckier, you or I? Is there something essential that you're missing? You already possess all the resources necessary to push past this self-limiting notion and instead tell yourself, "It's feasible for me, just as it is possible for them." Without self-doubt and self-limiting ideas in the way, you'll find solutions where before there were just problems.

15. It's too late for me Is it too late? It's never too late to start anything new. ● Shigemi Hirata became the world's oldest college graduate at 96. ●

Yuichiro Miura, at 80, became the oldest person to reach Mount

Everest. ●

At 72, Oscar Swahn became the oldest athlete to compete in the Olympics.

Definitely food for thought. Is it too late to start a new hobby, eat better, or cross off a long-standing goal? You can accomplish everything you want if you have the necessary enthusiasm, determination, and self-confidence. These illustrations of limiting ideas ought to serve as an eye-opener. It was meant for me to have them. If you're being completely forthright with yourself, I do not doubt you can identify with several of these. The important thing is to figure out what's holding you back. In this approach, you may identify the areas in which you need to invest your time and energy to develop personally and professionally and ultimately succeed. Your success depends on your ability to overcome self-doubt and stick with it. In the next chapter, we'll see how using positive words improves our minds and eliminates limiting beliefs. Let's talk about some things that keep us from reaching our goals.

Factors That Stop Us from Reaching Our Goals Changing our actions and becoming more desirable is essential to realize our ambitions. However, because we have yet to prepare for it, we lack the necessary habits, engage in harmful and fruitless activities, and have so many

diversions that we can scarcely focus on what is truly important. In any case, you can have what you want. All it takes is for you to develop a passion for regular action and begin working steadily toward your objectives. And you must do away with the obstacles that not only slow you down but prevent you from making any progress. Here are some of the things that hinder us from achieving our goals:

Perfectionism There are a lot of people who have strong aspirations and wish to succeed in anything in life. However, they are greedy and ungrateful even before they obtain them, demanding more than they are entitled to. Many, for example, desire wealth and prosperity immediately rather than merely being provided with a decent position with a high income and working hard to make money and improve the quality of their life. That's not the right way to go about it because being thankful for what you have now comes first (and no matter how small that is, trust me, others have way less and are still grateful for it). Only then will you experience prosperity and know you can use it to create more. You'll want to earn it, so you can reciprocate your efforts and reap the rewards afterward. You can succeed in your endeavors even though everything does not work out perfectly.

Fear of Failure There is a misunderstanding of what failure entails in modern society. People are so afraid of failing that they never even try. Because of this, their hopes and wishes will never come true. Experiencing setbacks is like receiving a priceless present in reality. It's a necessary and repeated procedure on the road to achievement. You're showing that you're committed to achieving your goals by acting toward them. The strength, resolve, and concentration growth that follows this kind of experience is well worth the initial discomfort. If something doesn't work out the first time, you'll know what to avoid doing the next time. You can succeed in the end if you keep trying. Thomas Edison exemplifies the power of failure and how we can harness it for maximum achievement in every aspect of his life.

Being Too Focused on Results Something about being human makes us impatient; when we want something, we want it now. However, you must accept that life does not function that way. Your best bet is to take things as they come and stop stressing about getting everything right.

Taking Big Steps You have to follow certain stages to get to where you want in life. And this

happens to fortify you against the inevitable challenges that lie ahead. Minor ones, because major ones make us worry, cringe, and give up completely. To achieve your objectives, break them into more manageable chunks until you have a set of manageable daily tasks. Make them so simple and quick that not doing them will be impossible.

Excuses Your mind will always come up with various reasons why you should not do something. You must accept that your mind is deceptive and would rather do the same things repeatedly on autopilot than try something new. So, it makes a lot of excuses, some of which are quite good. It's up to you to get rid of them or believe and exaggerate them. Because if you go with the second choice—if you believe them—you will never make any changes in your life and will never achieve the things you want.

Procrastination This is another common impediment to achieving our goals. So, it is something else we'll have to give up. Remember that the moment to act is now because any other time will be too late. Only in the present can you make progress toward your goals and realize your dreams. The only way to overcome procrastination is to dive in headfirst without giving your mind a chance to make up reasons not to, without being unsure of

your skills or afraid to try something new. Put in a little effort today, and you'll be that much closer to realizing your goals.

Unrealistic Expectations Have more realistic expectations. It's a self-defeating practice that will only lead to more heartbreak in the long run. When your expectations aren't met, you become discouraged and give up trying to change the situation. Put an end to the made-up stories you tell yourself and the imagined futures you create for yourself and start living in the now. In the meantime, continue doing what you think is right.

Distractions There will always be naysayers and those who would have you give up hope if you let them. The road to success is paved with temptations of its own. There are lots of fun things to do, but they don't get you there. Sometimes you think life is unfair because other people seem to have it easier than you do. However, that is not true. You've decided to put in the effort to achieve your goals and improve your life, while other people would rather take it easy and engage in pursuits that provide fleeting pleasure.

Inconsistency The only way to progress is to consistently put in the effort, which means doing something every day. Successful people tend to be consistent, and that

tendency tends to solidify itself into a habit like anything else. On the other hand, you won't get very far without it. If you want to get anything done, it's best to divide it into manageable chunks, schedule time for it regularly, and then muster the motivation to do it. Remember this: Not everything you want or believe you deserve comes true. Instead, you reap the benefits of your consistent efforts, thoughts, and actions.

CHAPTER THREE - DEALING WITH ANALYSIS PARALYSIS

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he average person makes around 35,000 decisions throughout the day, beginning with the moment they open their eyes in the morning. Choosing what to wear to work or deciding whether to

pursue a new professional opportunity is a decision most of us have made at one point in our lives. It's preferable to consider your choices carefully, but it's possible to reach a point of paralysis by analysis. Analysis paralysis is a term used to describe this condition.

Why do we easily fall into analysis paralysis? When faced with an overwhelming and perplexing problem or choice, it's easy to get stuck in "analysis paralysis." When you are overwhelmed, you will have more difficulty making decisions. It's common for people to feel overwhelmed when trying to make an informed choice because doing so often entails weighing numerous factors, including competing arguments, a wealth of information, a variety of possible

outcomes, and the views of those close to them. A flurry of thoughts might engulf us as our level of confusion rises, making it feel like we can't possibly choose between two options. Stuck in this mental tornado, we can't pull ourselves out of analysis paralysis and can't seem to get anywhere. Feeling calm and collected when making certain kinds of judgments is normal. Although analysis paralysis can occur with every decision, it may be more common with certain sorts of choices, such as those involving: ● Career ● Family ● Marriage/Relationships ● Finances It's reasonable that analytical paralysis would be more common when dealing with such weighty subjects as our health, financial stability, and the welfare of our loved ones. The fear of making poor decisions in these areas can cause us to overanalyze the situation and solicit advice from too many people.

How does analysis paralysis feel? Everyone knows what it's like to be confused and agrees it's not fun. There's a chance that our anxiety will rise, our minds will speed up, and our tempers

may flare. If we are suffering from analysis paralysis, experiencing these things to their logical conclusion may leave us exhausted and severely overwhelmed. A variety of stress-related symptoms, including: ● Fatigue ● Apathy ● Unproductivity ● Lack of focus ● Sweating ● Shallow breathing ● Loss of sleep ● Ruminating thoughts ● Rapid heart rate ● Anxiety

What characteristics cause people to get stuck in analysis mode? While anyone can enter a state of analysis paralysis, some personality qualities make it more likely that a person will get stuck there: Having a Fixed Mindset Those who tend to view the world in black-and-white categories, such as

"good" and "bad," "all or nothing," and "right" and "wrong," may struggle to see the forest for the trees when faced with a decision that doesn't neatly fall into any of those categories. Though you might be able to make certain choices with little thought or emotion, other situations might call for greater deliberation. Big decisions can be overwhelming for those with a more rigid worldview, making them want to avoid making a call. We'll talk about fixed mindsets later in this book. Perfectionism While it's admirable that perfectionists take their time to make important life choices, this tendency can backfire when it comes to matters of the heart, including romantic partners, long-term objectives, professional pursuits, and domestic affairs. These decisions can have lasting effects on the people we care about and on us, but there is a lot we don't know and many ways they could go. Making a choice might feel like a gamble, even when we're doing everything in our power to ensure that neither we nor anybody else will experience any negative consequences. People-Pleasing The drive to please others can make us sacrifice our happiness for their sake. A decision's weight increases when it has the potential to affect other people, especially those we care about.

It's easy to see how thinking about every possible outcome or soliciting feedback from others could be considerate but leave us feeling overwhelmed. Uncertainty or a Lack of Confidence A lack of confidence in one's decision-making abilities can arise for various reasons. There are two possible explanations: a lack of experience or the bitter experience of a bad decision. One's need to consult with others or engage in extensive internal deliberation before making a choice is understandable when one's self-perception includes incapacity. Empathy Empathy is the feeling we can identify with another person's emotional state. This quality, which can make us fantastic people to be around, might be problematic when deciding. We may feel emotions that we believe other people will feel as a consequence of our decision-making as we weigh the information, pros, and cons, or probable outcomes. Whether or not this is the case, it can cause us to feel paralyzed by uncertainty and unable to muster the energy to make a choice. Consequently, we become exhausted and more befuddled due to our efforts to gain insight into decision-making through information collection and introspection. Eventually, it may seem hard to decide with clarity and

assurance.

Controlling analysis paralysis When experiencing analysis paralysis, it is helpful to know that there are things you can do to alleviate the condition. Even though it may appear impossible due to all the pondering, perplexity, and concern, we can still feel in control of our situation.

Recognize That You’re in a Bad Place Realizing you're in a bad place is a good first step toward leaving it. Think about every part of your body, from your head to your toes. Pay attention to how your body communicates stress through tense muscles, shallow breathing, nausea, and other symptoms. If you feel like you are dwelling on the same thoughts repeatedly, give yourself permission to become an observer of your thoughts and be completely honest with yourself.

Allow Yourself to be Adaptable Being unable to choose might result from rigid thinking, trying to please others, or being paralyzed by fear. Keep in mind that it's fine to be adaptable and human. Worrying about a bad consequence can feel overwhelming and permanent, but this is rarely the case.

Have Faith in your Capabilities When we worry about something bad happening, it's typically because we think we won't be able to bounce back from it or handle the journey's

difficulties. What scares us usually just makes us uneasy. To make the best choice possible, consider other situations when you overcame adversity, hardship, or discomfort and incorporate that into your self-perception.

Quit Seeking the Opinions of Other People Searching for other people's perspectives, and opinions is a common cause of analysis paralysis. Decide on purpose not to inquire about other people's opinions or potential actions. You probably already have the knowledge, experience, and wisdom to determine the best action.

Stop Thinking Too Much About the Future and Concentrate on the Present. Future-gazing, as I like to call it, is a common contributor to analysis paralysis. Some of us have a strong tendency to constantly imagine how certain actions may turn out. We do this because we want to prevent or lessen the intensity of any potential pain, but the truth is that we can't always know what will happen. Don't resist the here and now; embrace it and do the greatest possible thing. In the absence of all the answers, making smaller, more immediate decisions at the time can allow us to pivot and change as necessary. Analysis paralysis is a state of emotional discomfort and mental overload.

When we set out to make smart decisions, we may become caught up in a cycle of worrying about the potential consequences of each option. Recognize the current situation and do everything you can to halt the momentum of the whirlwind so that you can focus on making the next best move.

CHAPTER FOUR - MIND TRANSFORMATION THROUGH POSITIVE THINKING AND SELF-TALK

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he glass-half-full analogy is the last thing anyone needs to hear when feeling sad. What good does that do, exactly? There may appear to be no upsides to adopting a more optimistic frame of

mind at that time. You feel let down because you were hoping for a full glass. That thing, which you desperately need, is not in your possession. Maybe your glass doesn't even seem real to you. It doesn't work, was stolen, damaged, and doesn't belong to you. You must allow yourself to be angry, upset, disappointed, sad, and terrified. Recognizing their importance and then moving on is the key. It's easy to feel like you're being ignored when you're told to "cheer up" or "think positive." Never underestimate the power of a dose of reality in the face of unrelenting optimism. Because of this, optimistic thinking has gotten a bad rap. Realistic optimism may not produce instant results, but it can help us all in the long run. Health and fitness benefit from optimistic thinking and striving toward future goals. Some people are naturally more upbeat than others, but that doesn't mean we can't learn to do the same.

What is Positive Thinking? We must first understand that practicing positive thinking does not include rejecting reality, denying logic, or forcing oneself to feel only good feelings. We both know that's not possible. Positive thinking entails maintaining a sunny disposition in the face of adversity. You aren't so overwhelmed by the difficulty that you can't see past it. You know that despite facing and working through the challenges, you will ultimately succeed. You understand that a single piece of unpleasant news does not imply that everything is horrible forever and that you will never feel joy again. Instead of always assuming the worst of people and situations, a positive thinker gives the benefit of the doubt to other people's motives and looks for the positive in their actions. One who thinks positively can imagine favorable scenarios. Self-talk is usually the first step toward positive thinking. Our minds are constantly processing new information. While some may be objective and grounded in hard data, the vast majority are likely to be colored by the author's optimistic or pessimistic worldview. You may have a pessimistic mindset if you constantly tell yourself bad things

and focus on the worst-case scenario. But that doesn't mean we can't alter our ways to think more optimistically. Although it may take some time and effort, you can retrain your brain to think more optimistically through deliberate practice. While some pessimists may exert considerable effort to suppress their feelings of despair, those who practice mindfulness and self-compassion often find that their negative thought patterns shift.

10 Benefits of Positive Thinking Why is it important to have a positive mindset? Positive thinking[1] has positive effects on your physical and mental health. Sounds surprising? You probably don't understand how changing your thoughts can affect your entire life but that's the whole point of this book. And I'm not just talking based on my experiences. I have science to back me up. Here are ten benefits of positive thinking: 1. Improved stress management and development of better coping skills 2. Lower risk of depression 3. Greater resistance to the common cold and a more fortified immune system. 4. Lesser risk of heart attacks and disease.

5. Lower blood pressure 6. Better problem-solving mechanism 7. Improved adaptability 8. Improved ability for creative thinking 9. Stable emotional state 10.

Improved leadership skills

Six Strategies to Positive Thinking Positivity is a skill that we all need to cultivate. If you find it difficult to think positively, remember that you can't expect to alter your thought patterns overnight completely. People who are used to thinking negatively may find it difficult to alter their thinking so quickly. You must accept that you will sometimes revert to negative thought patterns. What's important is that you're making an effort to improve your mindset by recognizing and reframing any negative thoughts that automatically pop into your head. The ability to question unhelpful, automatic thoughts is a key part of selfawareness. Here is a set of questions that has been recommended by many coaches to help us filter our thoughts: ● Is it true? - Is what I'm thinking an established fact? ● Is it helpful? - Does this thought help me in any way?

●

Is it kind? - Does this thought help me feel good about myself or confident in my abilities? Does it help my perception about other people?

Here are a few more suggestions to help you build a more optimistic frame of mind: Always Practice Gratitude There are many things we need to be thankful for, both large and small, such as the presence of a loving family or the absence of rain on the way to the office. Create a journal in which you record the things you are thankful for. Anytime you're feeling down, think about all the good things happening in your life to cheer yourself up. Aim For a Good Night's Rest Have you been struggling with getting a good sleep every night? Getting enough shut eye makes for a more productive day overall. When we sleep well, we wake up invigorated and ready to tackle our work. Our bodies also appreciate this time of rest. If you're having difficulties sleeping, thinking too much about it won't help your mood. Creating a good nighttime routine that prioritizes sleep can help you combat the impatient, can't-wait-for-the-day thoughts that will run

through your head. Stop Running Away from Reality and Start Making the Most of It It's useless to ignore a bad situation and act as if it never happened. If your brother has borrowed your car and you now have to walk to your appointment, try to see the bright side: you'll get to enjoy some fresh air and exercise. Identify where you feel your influence can and cannot be exerted. Let go of what you can't change and focus on the bright side. Find Out What Triggers Those Negative Thoughts Is there a particular situation in which you find yourself becoming excessively pessimistic? Find the things causing you to lose your optimistic perspective, and you can implement solutions. The daily grind of commuting to and from work can be a source of negativity. Try to have fun in the midst of those challenges. Make a playlist of upbeat songs to listen to on your way to work the next time. Rather than spending time with those who are negative or depressing, it's in your best interest to surround yourself with upbeat people. Be Sure to Laugh Often A positive outlook is facilitated by trying to find humor in everyday

situations. Additionally, it aids in stress management by decreasing the heart rate, which may benefit physical health. A smile is better than nothing if you can't laugh. The ability to laugh at oneself is a powerful tool for self-acceptance and stress relief. If you're feeling down, call a funny friend or watch a funny video on YouTube. Always Be Honest While the advantages of optimistic thinking are undeniable, it's important to maintain a level head and a rational perspective. When you focus on the good, you don't have time to worry about the bad or plan for it. You'll feel disappointment even more acutely when things don't go as planned. A positive outlook that considers the likelihood of experiencing bad days and unfavorable outcomes is essential. Keep in mind that things may not always work out the way you want and that's okay. It doesn't have to ruin your day.

How to Identify Negative Thoughts We can fall prey to pessimistic thoughts in several ways. If you have made it a habit, you may not even be aware of when you are engaging in negative self-talk. Our worldview becomes more biased as a result of this habitual behavior. Here are two things that make us prone to negative thinking:

Life Challenges It can be easy to focus only on the negative aspects when things get rough. You may ignore the good and concentrate solely on the bad. When we stop telling ourselves positive things, we forget that we can change our lives and have agency. We also fail to remember to try and see the funny side of things. The situation may have some positive connotations, but you cannot recognize them because you are fixated on the negatives. Showcasing the bright side of things with humor is a solid strategy.

Constantly Polarizing Our Thoughts When you marginalize everything that happens to you, it can lead to negative thinking. There is no middle ground; things are either good or bad. Anything out of the ordinary, from a new experience to a departure from our routine, can be viewed in one of two ways. Either everything goes as planned, or it's all for naught. We know this isn't the case. Many possible outcomes in life are intermediate between two extremes, and this is because life itself is not black and white. In either case, you will gain something for use in the next go-around. Examples of positive thinking The power of positive thinking lies in its ability to alter one's perspective on any given circumstance or setting.

Here are a few examples of how positive thinking can help us in our daily lives:

Attempting a New Activity Let's say your coworker has called in sick today, and you have to stand in for them and finish your tasks on time. You're afraid of messing up their project because you've never done anything like it. But you don't let yourself get sucked into a black hole of pessimism; instead, see this as a chance to learn something new.

Leaving Your Safe Space Someone you know is throwing a party, and you've been invited. You decided to go because your friends are going too. Then, your friends cancel at the last minute and decide not to attend. You're left at the party where you only know the host. So, you end up feeling awkward and bored. Accepting that you don't know many people there and being thankful for being with your friend on their birthday are better options than feeling like a social outcast or being angry at your friends for canceling. You focus squarely on your friend's big day to broaden your social circle. Keep in mind that it is only through challenging yourself that you can truly develop.

Incorporating Positive Thinking into Your Life Now that we know how important positive thinking is, it's time to incorporate

it into our daily lives. Here are a few ways you can do that: Start the Day with Happy Thoughts Your mood for the rest of the day will be set by how you begin it. Start the day off right by doing something you enjoy, like going for a walk or meditating. Meditate Meditating first thing in the morning can wipe away the previous day's stress and help you find inner calm. You can approach things with a new perspective and a clean slate.

Learn to Laugh in Tough Situations Don't be too hard on yourself; see the funny side of things even when things seem bleakest. A story that tries to make light of this situation is doomed to fail. If you want to laugh about it and not cry, then focus on the positive aspects. Start a Gratitude Journal The ability to appreciate the positives in life is the key to happiness. Being grateful for what you have (no matter how small) can help you maintain a positive outlook. When you are happy with your life, you cannot begin to compare it to others. Eat a Healthy Breakfast Not only does what you eat affect your waistline, but it also affects your

disposition and general well-being. Eating breakfast is important because it keeps your blood sugar steady and improves your mood as the day progresses. Take Care of Your Body by Working Out Frequently. Maintaining a healthy and active lifestyle is essential to keeping a positive outlook. When you work out regularly, you improve your mood, release stress, and feel better. Listen to Good Music Listening to upbeat music can help lift one's mood and reduce stress. There are indeed some tunes that can help you overcome bad vibes. Listening to music has a calming effect on the nervous system. Create a playlist of songs you can listen to whenever you need a pick-me-up. Keep a positive attitude and clank up your favorite tune. Learn to Open Up Sometimes, we face challenges that are hard to deal with because we cannot think of a workable solution. In those scenarios, venting to a compassionate friend can be therapeutic. Discuss your concerns and difficulties with someone you can confide in. Communicating a difficulty increases the likelihood of its cause being determined and a more effective solution being developed. Give Your Attention to the Important Things

There is value in understanding and appreciating the values held by others. It simplifies your life because you can act in accordance with your values when making plans and choices. For instance, you may feel overwhelmed if you place a high value on the family but spend most of your time away from home due to your job. It will hurt your work as well. As a result, prioritize what matters and strike a balance. Our values indeed shape our beliefs and our choices. Be Compassionate Doing something nice for someone else can reduce stress and boost your mood. Whenever someone treats you kindly, you feel obligated to return the favor. This sequence continues. Finding something to be grateful for or performing a good deed can help those having trouble maintaining a positive outlook. Relax and Enjoy Some Time Alone The reason we're so depressed is that we prioritize material possessions over our spiritual health. Let Go of Guilt Since negative self-talk and self-pity are so deeply ingrained, it's difficult to see the bright side of things. If you catch yourself doing this, pause for a moment, breathe deeply, and focus on thinking positively instead.

Your negative emotions will fade away once you make up your mind to do something about them. Remember that no one has life figured out, and we are all students. Enjoy your unique journey and the lessons you learn on the way.

Positive Self-talk It is more crucial than ever in this era of depression and anxiety to engage in constructive self-talk. A positive outlook on life can be challenging to maintain in the face of many unknowns. Think about whether you actively practice self-compassion and self-love or rely on that critical inner monologue. In reality, you might not even be conscious of your internal monologue. In this section, we'll discuss the characteristics of positive and negative self-talk, the advantages of developing an uplifting internal dialogue, and the steps you can take to replace your negative inner voice with a more constructive one.

What is self-talk? When you're awake, you're constantly conversing with yourself, consciously and unconsciously. Your inner monologue—consisting of your daily thoughts, ruminations on the events of the day, and other personal observations—will impact your outlook on life. Self-criticism The way you talk to yourself has a significant effect on your outlook on life. Your mental health will suffer if your inner monologue is consistently

pessimistic. A negative outlook makes it difficult to find the good in a bad situation. This can become all-consuming, preventing you from progressing in other areas of your life. How you deal with any situation is entirely up to the things you tell yourself, consciously and unconsciously. What you experience is determined by the thoughts that lead to those feelings and those actions. When did I first start talking to myself in such a negative way? Most people pick it up when they're young. Feel like you're "a failure" or "not good enough" a lot of the time? Who knows? Maybe you've been having this conversation with yourself for as long as you can remember. An overly negative internal monologue seriously affects your health, whether or not you are aware of them. When negative self-talk becomes the norm, it's toxic to your mental health. The pessimism adds unnecessary stress to already difficult circumstances. Your perception of life's challenges will increase in proportion to your time in critical dialogue with yourself. One common result is ruminating, a selfdestructive cycle of negative thinking. Self-confidence In contrast, encouraging yourself is the antithesis of negative self-talk. This doesn't mean ignoring the fact that the human experience isn't always rose-

colored. Modifying one's perspective is the cornerstone of constructive internal dialogue. As opposed to beating yourself up over a specific outcome or blaming yourself when a situation doesn't go your way, you make the deliberate choice to find ways to improve. Consistent use of affirmations has powerful effects. You give the impression of encouragement, kindness, and inspiration rather than criticism of yourself. Instead of saying to yourself, "I can't believe I made that mistake again," an uplifting and self-compassionate self-talk might go something like, "I'll try harder next time." A more optimistic outlook on life will have a multiplicative effect on your circumstances.

Benefits of Positive Self-Talk Changing how you talk to and think about yourself can have profound effects. We’ve already seen how much positive thinking can change our lives. Therefore, let's examine the practical and psychological gains of speaking with a self-affirming language.

Controlled Stress While negative self-talk increases stress, the opposite is true for positive selftalk: it enhances resilience to stress. By changing how you think about challenging circumstances, you can train yourself to respond constructively to whatever life throws at you. This fosters a much more positive frame than dwelling on mistakes or what could have been done better. Some good can be

found in any adversity, no matter how bad things may seem.

Improved Emotional Well-Being Did you know that how you talk to yourself has a major impact on your emotional well-being? When you are kind and compassionate to yourself, that voice inside your head helps you see the world in a more positive light. Instead of allowing a negative situation to devastate you, positive self-talk can help you reframe it as an opportunity. You can't fix everything on your own, and you will certainly make some mistakes along the way. Realizing this will aid you in changing the deeply held beliefs damaging your emotional and psychological well-being.

Rising Self-Assurance An increase in self-assurance results from actively working to correct limiting beliefs and negative internal dialogue. This is because mental energy flows where attention goes. If you tell yourself repeatedly that you can do it and that your goals are attainable, you will eventually start believing it. Confidence in yourself and your abilities will begin to shine through in every facet of your life as you put this into practice.

Stronger Relationships More positive relationships can be formed after negative thoughts are replaced with positive ones. Those who are kind to themselves in their inner dialogue are more likely to work things out with their friends and family. All

relationships, whether they be personal, professional, or familial, are subject to this rule. Those who are confident in themselves and strive to maintain a sunny disposition attract those who are similarly disposed of.

How to Improve Your Self-Talk Awareness is the first step toward changing any habit, including negative self-talk. This may be easier to say than to do for some people. We hope the following self-help tips will help you begin the process of becoming more self-aware and developing a more positive internal dialogue. Following these steps can replace negative thoughts with more positive ones.

Journaling Subtle negative self-talk can sometimes go on without your full awareness. Many people's pessimism is so deeply ingrained that it seems automatic. Writing down your thoughts in a journal can help you become more selfaware and pick up on patterns in your inner dialogue. You could, for example, keep a journal on you at all times and record any negative thoughts or feelings as they arise, or you could write a nightly summary of your day's thoughts and feelings. Whatever method you choose, it's important to reflect on your writing regularly and evaluate how your feelings and perspectives have changed. Writing down your internal monologue is a great way to gain insight into your thought process.

Turn Negatives into Positives.

Try recasting a problem you're having mental difficulty dealing with as an opportunity. Exactly what do we intend to convey with that statement? You've recently been laid off from your job. You've been working there for years despite how much you hate it there because you need the money (remember Jason?). You can flip the script and turn a negative situation into a positive one by not being so hard on yourself for being laid off from your job. You can achieve this by realizing that you no longer have to settle for a job you despise and instead have the chance to pursue a profession that truly interests you. Your perspective and outlook on life determine everything.

Rephrasing Statements of Limitation into Questions Just as it takes time and effort to learn to consistently engage in negative selftalk, it does unlearn such behavior. Changing negative thoughts or statements into questions is a good way to learn how to talk to yourself positively. If you find yourself saying, "I can't do this," try rephrasing it as a question like, "How can I make this happen?" When you put in the effort to find the good in a situation, it's difficult to maintain a negative outlook. The confidence you gain from doing this and the ability to silence your inner critic will amaze you. Now this is where the work comes in. Each chapter from the first has some practical strategies that we should incorporate into our daily lives. This

section has positive affirmations for each area of our lives. Here’s what you’re going to do: every morning, as soon as you wake up, stand in front of the mirror and recite the affirmations aloud to yourself. Do the same thing at the end of the day before you sleep. If you can do this exercise for 21 days, it will become a habit that will benefit you for the rest of your life.

Morning Affirmations 1. Every day, I learn and develop further. 2. What no longer serves me, I release. 3. To bring about change, I only need to believe in my own ability to do so. 4. The future is open to me every day. 5. I can get through anything that comes my way. 6. I'm very motivated. 7. I am a source of motivation for those around me. 8. My wants and needs are valid, and I deserve to be satisfied. 9. I decide how my day will go 10.

What I have accomplished makes me very pleased with myself.

11.

That I am still here is a miracle, and I am very appreciative.

12.

I count my blessings today and every day.

13.

As a new day has begun, I am hopeful.

14.

A wonderful day awaits me today.

15.

I'm going to have a good day.

16.

When I set my mind to it, there is no task too big or too difficult for me to complete.

17.

Let this day bring its many blessings, for I am ready to receive them.

18.

I appreciate everything I have and everything that is yet to come.

Self-Love Affirmations 1. I am aware of my own value. 2. I am gentle and compassionate toward myself. 3. I'm going to let myself be who I am 4. I adore myself. 5. I have complete faith in my own abilities. 6. I deserve to be treated with love and respect

7. I value my own wants and needs. 8. It's okay if I make mistakes; I'm still learning. 9. I am free to say "no". 10.

I am happy.

11.

I exude confidence.

12.

The only person I don't judge against is myself.

13.

Having confidence in myself is the only thing that matters to me.

14.

I am capable of extraordinary feats.

15.

Fear is not something I can give in to.

16.

Those irrational worries no longer have a place in my life, and I let them go.

17.

I know I can do it.

18.

I am at home in this world.

19.

I am whole and enough

20.

I came into this world to give something of myself to everybody.

21.

I am not one to criticize, either myself or others.

22.

My perspective about life is important.

23.

I deserve all the praise I get.

24.

I justly deserve all the success in my life.

25.

I have amazing ideas to share with the world

26.

What I need is already with me.

Success Affirmations 1. I deserve success. 2. I get closer to my goals with every step I take. 3. My chances of being successful are unlimited. 4. I know what I need to do to be successful. 5. What I bring to the world is important. 6. My peers look up to me. 7. I can join you at the table. 8. I'm good enough at what I do. 9. Doors are opening for me. 10.

I deserve a job that makes me happy.

11.

My job makes me happy and brings me joy.

12.

It's important what I do.

13.

I'm ready to do my best work because I'm focused and driven.

14.

Who I am, not what I do, is what makes me valuable.

15.

My life is in good shape.

16.

Rest is good for me.

17.

When I need help, I ask for it.

18.

No one does my job better than I do.

19.

I bring a lot of value to my job.

20.

I'm thankful for the chance to learn and get more skills.

Health Affirmations 1. I'm getting better every day. 2. I take care of my physical and mental health. 3. I eat food that is good for my body. 4. I believe that my body will let me know what it needs. 5. I'm thankful for my body and everything it does for me every day. 6. Every day, my body gets stronger.

7. I can choose things that are good for my health. 8. My body is very powerful. 9. I am grateful to be healthy.

Affirmations for Anxiety 1. I am right here, right now. 2. I decide when and how I breathe. 3. I appreciate the good times more because of the bad times. 4. I'm glad for the things I can do something about. 5. I don't stress out about things I can't change. 6. If I keep doing it, it will get easier. 7. I can make it through this. 8. I got through this before, so I know I can do it again. 9. I inhale peace, and exhale doubt.

CHAPTER FIVE - FIXED MINDSET VS. GROWTH MINDSET

H

ow do you deal with setbacks when you encounter them? The pain of failure is real (believe me, I know). However, does it serve as a powerful mechanism to embrace new challenges, or

does it define you and prevent you from learning from your mistakes? We’ve already established that our mind is a potent influence on our beliefs and thoughts. A person's actions and life direction are determined by selfperception. What do you tell yourself about those who have mastered their fields or life? Do you think they were born with a natural talent or aptitude for it, or do you think they worked hard, came up with novel approaches, drew inspiration from others, got good mentoring, invested in learning, and made steady progress?

What you put into life is exactly what you get out of it. How you understand your experiences, consciously or unconsciously, can limit your potential. Belief in one's ability to develop and achieve goals, using mistakes and setbacks as learning opportunities, is powerful. Resilience is the ability to persevere in the face of adverse conditions that have undesirable outcomes. The question then becomes how to go from feeling confined by our skills and knowledge to enjoying the independence from expanding them. How can we decide to pursue a life of continuous improvement? To flip this switch, we must first familiarize ourselves with Carol Dweck's (a researcher at Stanford University) concepts of the Fixed Mindset and the Growth mindset.

The distinction between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset A person with a fixed mindset is limited by their preconceived notions and ideas. They think everyone is born with unique skills and potential and that these qualities are fixed at birth and cannot be developed through practice or experience. In their minds, setbacks prove they are stupid and incapable of accomplishing anything worthwhile. They have a high threshold for failure and a fixed mindset that prevents them from trying new things. A person who adopts a growth mindset is unconstrained by their previous ideas and perspectives. They recognize that everyone is unique and that

intelligence ranges from person to person, but that it is also malleable and can be improved through practice and training. They find great satisfaction in expanding their knowledge through research, experimentation, and observing and imitating those more knowledgeable than themselves. These people welcome challenges and obstacles because they know that this is how one gains wisdom and experience. The following are some of the primary distinctions between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset: A fixed mindset is limiting. A person with a fixed mindset believes that: ●

Talents, abilities, and intelligence are unchangeable; they determine who we are.

● They run from mistakes and do not learn from them. ● Avoid challenges ● Give up easily. ● Feel threatened by the success of others. ● reject criticism, even though it may be highly relevant and useful. ● Avoid new experiences out of fear of failure.

● Look for people who can reinforce their self-esteem. ● Concentrate on the outcome because they regard it as their identity. Freedom comes from a growth mindset. A person with a growth mindset believes that: ● Talents, abilities, and intelligence can be developed through effort and practice. ● Engage deeply and process the error with a desire to correct the error. ● Embrace challenges ● Persevere in the face of failures and setbacks. ● Find inspiration in others' success. ● Accept criticism as a way to learn. ● Embrace novelty with a desire to master new skills. ● Look for people who challenge them to grow. ●

Focus on the process and learning without worrying about the outcome.

● Leads to collaboration and innovation In her book Mindset, Carol Dweck gives a wonderful summary of the two mindsets:

Changing your frame of mind is like discovering a whole new planet. There is a world where getting ahead is all about demonstrating your innate intelligence or talent. Confidence in one's worth It's about challenging yourself to grow as a person in the other realm, the realm of mutable characteristics. Improving one's state of being One definition of failure is suffering an inconvenience. Obtaining an unacceptable grade is a tournament loss. A job loss. The experience of being turned down implies a lack of intelligence or talent. Failing means you aren't developing as a person in the parallel universe. Inability to pursue goals that matter to you. If this is the case, you are not living up to your full potential. The effort is seen as negative in some alternate realities. It signifies a lack of intelligence or talent, much like failure. If you already were, you wouldn't have to try. One's intelligence or ability results from effort in the parallel universe. Here, you can pick one of two options. In reality, mindsets are nothing more than deeply held beliefs. These convictions may carry great weight, but ultimately, they are nothing more than thoughts in your head.

Disadvantages of a Fixed Mindset Children demonstrate a preference for a growth-oriented or fixed attitude even at a young age. Do they obsess overachieving As, require frequent reassurance that what they're thinking is correct, balk at making sacrifices, or

avoid challenging situations for fear of failing? A rigid mentality, if you will. This kind of thinking prevents individuals from learning new things, trying other approaches, thinking of creative ideas, and, most importantly, dreaming bigger. If they are having trouble with something, they are ready to say, "I am just not good at it." I don't care how hard I try; I won't improve. If faced with adversity, they will doubt themselves rather than work to overcome it. Bringing up a generation of children like that doesn't leave much room for optimism about the future. A fixed mindset manifests itself in the workplace when we hesitate to test new ideas, refuse to take on new challenges because we are afraid of failing, blame others for our failure to accomplish our goals, and feel envious of others' successes and advancements. It has the potential to make us lead from a place of fear, exhibit reluctance when faced with tough decisions, shirk responsibility, and stifle creativity and teamwork. Without developing ourselves through learning, success remains a pipe dream. Adopting a "growth mindset" boosts our confidence in our ability to improve ourselves via study and effort. So, how do we pave the way for this change?

Five Effective Strategies to Shift a Fixed Mindset to A Growth

Mindset A growth mindset is often misunderstood as just having an open and adaptable mind. These characteristics help, but they don't guarantee a person will be open to new experiences and learning. Having a constant growth mindset is also unrealistic. When we're put on the defensive or feeling insecure, it's easy to adopt a rigid worldview and refuse to see things from the other person's point of view. We're all susceptible to developing a rigid outlook on life, and the causes vary from person to person. The key is learning to identify situations that trigger a fixed mindset and then reorient oneself to a growing one. The focus should be shifted from self-doubt to the opportunity for development, from worry to enthusiasm in the process, from victim to creator in the drama triangle, and from fear to growth via experience. The following are five proven methods for fostering a growth mindset: Make The Conscious Decision to Reframe Your Internal Narrative Self-narration carries significant weight because of its impact. How do you talk to yourself? Do you tell yourself that you can make a change, that you have the intelligence to master new skills, that you will get stronger due to adversity, or the opposite? Our narrative shapes how we understand and respond to challenging events

and circumstances. What we do is merely the outward expression of what we think. The first step in developing a growth mindset is realizing when negative thought patterns are forming, choosing a different course of action, and modifying one's language accordingly. Instead of telling yourself, ● I am not good at it. ● I can't do it. ● I cannot learn. ● It's better to stick to what I know. ● I give up because it's beyond me. ● I have fixed potential. ● This is frustrating. ● I am who I am. ● This is hard. Say to yourself, ● I can do better.

● I can do it. ● I want to try and not give up. ● I want to explore new ideas. ● I believe in myself. ● It's possible only if I try. ● It's okay to fail. ● I can learn from my mistakes. ● I just don't know yet.

Focus On What You Can Learn Rather Than What You Can Achieve Instead of focusing on achievements that boost your sense of value, make learning a daily priority. Instead of trying to lose 30 pounds by cutting out all junk food, focus on making healthy daily choices. Commit to daily math practice rather than stressing over getting an A. Don't try to become a professional runner; instead, make running a daily habit. When we shift our attention from the final product to the steps taken to reach that goal, we open ourselves up to making incremental but meaningful

improvements over time. By refocusing our efforts on education, we are making a purposeful decision to go on a course where diligence, focus, and dedication determine our ultimate success. The road to success is not paved in a day. It's the ultimate product of countless hours spent studying and practicing, yet there's always more to learn. Profit from Your Mistakes When we fail, we learn valuable life lessons that would be impossible to learn from a successful experience. The best way to deal with failure is to learn from it by analyzing what went wrong and developing a strategy to avoid repeating the same mistakes. Use the inversion principle and second order thinking as just two of many mental models you might employ to generate novel approaches, gather feedback from others on your choices, and resolve to improve with each setback you experience. To make the most of your experiences with setbacks, you must change your perspective and view them as opportunities for development rather than signs of inadequacy. Use the "Goldilocks" tasks for Steady Progress

Seeking difficulty is different from deliberately attempting to do the impossible. Climbing a mountain without training your muscles is like trying to answer trigonometry problems without first mastering algebra and geometry. Goldilocks tasks are those that are just outside of your comfort zone but within your capabilities. They allow you to try something new without the usual accompanying nervousness. Tasks that fall into the "Goldilocks" range are just right for gradually expanding on existing skills and knowledge, setting you on a road of continuous improvement.

Be Consistent and Flexible Transitioning from a fixed to a growth mindset is not an overnight process. It takes practice, like everything else. Use some of the following questions as a regular part of your self-reflection. ● How did you act last time? ● Did you choose a fixed or a growth mindset? ● What made you choose one mindset over the other?

● Is there a pattern in events that makes you adopt a fixed mindset? ● Why did you fail to recognize a fixed mindset at the moment? If you regularly ask yourself these questions and are open to learning from the answers, you may pinpoint the situations that cause you to revert to a stuck mindset and work on replacing them with growth-oriented ones. Keep in mind that every single one of us is special. The things that help one person may not help another. You cannot foster a growth mentality without the individual's perseverance and adaptability.

How You Can Promote a Growth Mindset Although instilling a growth mindset at a young age is ideal, it is never too late to learn the necessary skills. The human mind is extremely malleable and open to change. By forcing ourselves out of our usual routines, we allow our brains to explore novel avenues of thought. Stronger connections are formed with more use, and what was once challenging may become second nature with time and effort. To promote a growth mindset for your kids or adults, follow these key strategies: ●

Do not praise intelligence. Their intelligence and current abilities cannot be a sign of what they can and cannot do.

●

Recognize and appreciate process, engagement, strategies, perseverance, effort, and progress. These are strong indicators of their desire to learn and grow.

●

Do not engage in false praise. An effort that leads to no progress should not be praised. Disappointment should lead to a burning desire to do better. It should be a signal to try a different strategy.

●

Establish vulnerability - not as a sign of weakness but as a powerful mechanism to realize their full potential.

●

Encourage them to choose the right words, e.g., shift from "I don't know" to "I don't know yet." Simply believing they can do it will open their minds to seek solutions that did not seem possible earlier.

● Provide them with Goldilocks tasks just above their current abilities to enable them to realize the benefits of hard work and consistent effort. Making others aware of the many advantages of adopting a growth mindset is the most critical step in spreading this perspective. The conviction fosters a love of education that one's most prized characteristics are not fixed at birth. When you could be improving yourself, why bother convincing people over and over again of your greatness? Why should we try to cover up our flaws rather than work to improve them? Instead of looking for people who will

boost your confidence, why not look for those who will push you to grow? And what's the point in avoiding growth-inducing challenges in favor of the tried-and-true? A growth mentality is characterized by a willingness to challenge oneself and persist even (or especially) when things are difficult. This frame of mind allows people to succeed even in the face of immense adversity.

CHAPTER SIX - DEVELOPING SUCCESSFUL HABITS

T

he habits we form either help us succeed in our endeavors or keep us from reaching our goals. There's no doubt that if you're carrying around a bunch of poor habits, achieving your goals will

be tough.

Here are 18 ways our behavior works against us and our pursuit of success.

Wanting to Be Liked and Accepted First. The only person you should be listening to is yourself. All of your efforts to please other people will slow you down. Although it might be helpful to solicit feedback from others, you don't require constant praise from everyone around you. You have your own life and your accomplishments and failings. You'll need to learn to walk, run, and jump.

Always Pointing the Finger at Others. It's human nature to look elsewhere than at oneself when something goes wrong. It's human nature to want to blame failures on external factors. Stop giving reasons why you can't do something and start doing it. Put an end to assigning blame elsewhere and start thinking about what you could do

differently to improve the situation. You can choose how to respond no matter what happens. Learn to make the best of a bad situation.

Unclear Goals Many people would like to see their ideas, concepts, or dreams become a reality. But you can't get there without a solid strategy and a focused goal. The first step in accomplishing anything is deciding what you want to accomplish. It's all about making a plan that will serve as a road map. Without a plan to bring you into the future, it is possible to veer off course without realizing it.

Neglecting Your Physical Well-being Poor eating habits, not exercising, and not getting enough sleep will leave you physically and psychologically drained, stressed, and vulnerable to sickness. When you're not feeling well, you're more inclined to procrastinate and lose focus, which can seriously affect your performance. Never forget the value of putting some fun into your busy schedule. You can't possibly be enjoying life to the fullest if you're constantly focused on work and failure.

Doubting Your Abilities Negative self-talk puts an end to all hope. Uncertainty and indecision result from dwelling on the negative and worrying about being rejected. Constant self-doubt and questions about the feasibility of your ambitions will lead to more of the same, reinforcing your pessimistic outlook. Don't give in to the

temptation of dwelling on the negative. If you are holding yourself back, you will never achieve your goals. To achieve your goals, having confidence in yourself and imagining yourself succeeding is essential.

Doing Nothing Achieved goals sink like a stone in the quicksand of procrastination. Many things are competing for our attention, making it easy to get unmotivated and uninterested in making real progress. Stagnation is the result of failing to maintain forward momentum. Inertia and apathy will eventually win if you are too scared to take action. One of the most important qualities of a leader is the ability to move quickly when the situation calls for it. There comes a time when one must forego mere planning and move directly into action.

Feeding Distractions We all know there's enough to divert our attention these days with the rise of social media. Thinking clearly is challenging when your thoughts are being pushed in a thousand different directions at once. Simply put, if you constantly multitask, you are not making progress toward your goals. Put an end to giving in to your distractions and strangling your progress. Take a deep breath if you feel yourself flitting from one assignment to the next. Calm your thoughts and take it easy for a while. Your focus and output will both improve if you do this.

Comparing Yourself Unfavorably with Others

If you regularly participate in self-criticism or put others down, you are just bringing negativity into your life. Telling yourself “You’re stupid" or "you can't do anything well" is inflicting wounds that will hold you back. When you act in this manner with other people, you bring everyone down with you. Lessen the scathing criticism. You need to tell your inner critic to take a hike. Better yet, find ways to replace these undesirable routines with more beneficial ones. Instead of dwelling on failures, relish successes. Always look for the best in yourself and in people. Find ways to improve your situation and the situation of those around you.

Staying in Your Comfort Zone Some people get the willies just thinking about taking a chance. After all, trying something new requires courage and opens the door to the prospect of disappointment. However, you will never know your full potential unless you put forth the effort. Think of all the successful businesspeople like Bill Gates, Richard Branson, Larry Ellison, and Warren Buffet, who took huge risks. They all experienced setbacks, but without continuous effort, none of them would have made it to the top. Always remember that the potential payoff is much higher if you take greater risks.

Always Seeking Perfection We all have our flaws. Never settling for anything less than ideal is counterproductive. Every area of your life where you excel will have an equal

and opposite area where you struggle. There will be times when you struggle and times when you soar. Recognize that you are human and prone to error and lower your standards accordingly. You can emerge stronger than ever if you take the time to reflect on your failures and adjust your approach moving forward.

Always Waiting for the Right Moment Waiting for the "perfect" time to do something can cause you to waste away your life on the sidelines. Taking smart risks like keeping an eye on the economy or working to improve your talents is one thing. However, you must not let your fears prevent you from taking action. If you don't get started, you'll never finish.

Reckless Spending Careless spending can quickly ruin your financial stability, limiting your ability to take advantage of other opportunities. Not paying attention to seemingly insignificant expenses can quickly add up. Are you draining your bank account with wasteful, hasty purchases? Creating a budget is an excellent way to keep your financial life on track. Moreover, if you maintain sound financial practices, you will experience less financial stress and have more mental and emotional resources available for the things that truly count in life.

Thinking Talent Supersedes Hard Work

Don't make the mistake of thinking that natural ability is more important than hard work. Talent is helpful, to be sure, but it can also be developed and honed. If you want to win, persistence is what you need. To succeed, you must be determined to see your project through, no matter how difficult it gets.

Being Unable to Recognize When to Let Go You've worked countless hours on a project, explored numerous approaches, shifted strategies, and allocated considerable resources. Still, no matter how hard you try, you'll ultimately fail. At some point, you'll have to stop holding on. Even the captain must know when to grab a life raft if the ship is sinking. It's challenging to cut ties with a financial or emotional investment. However, if you realize when it's time to move on, you'll have more mental space to devote to new projects and opportunities.

Refusing to Learn Something New Most successful people have a great appetite for reading. Reading is the cornerstone of education and knowledge acquisition. It lets you see things from others' points of view, gives you insight into global events, and keeps you abreast of current fashions. You should never stop learning new things, even if you've already achieved a lot. The more you know, the bigger your dreams can become.

Failing to Ask Questions

Those curious and receptive to answers will have a deeper understanding of the world. You can get the answers you need to improve your decisionmaking by asking questions. Those who think they know everything should think again. Keeping an open and curious mind allows you to absorb what another person is saying. You can get help at a crucial juncture and receive an honest evaluation of your performance.

Not Admitting When You’re Wrong Everybody messes up sometimes, but it's tough to own up to mistakes. Admitting errors requires taking a blow to one's pride, which is never easy. However, if you admit fault, you will receive great respect. Those around you are more likely to trust you after an apology. The ability to be forthright and honest is gained by admitting that something has gone wrong.

Inability to Move on After a Setback Keep moving forward and refuse to let setbacks bring you down. Instead, you should take it as a personal victory. Your gamble didn't pay off. While this is a terrible emotion to experience, please know that you are not alone. Everyone experiences failure on their path to success. Investigate the errors that occurred. To move on and make better choices in the future, it is important to absorb the lessons you need to learn now.

How to Develop Successful Habits We must first learn to break destructive behavior patterns to improve our

quality of life and achieve our goals. Once you figure out how to end damaging habits, you'll have a much easier time accomplishing other lofty objectives. Consequences tend to favor the successful. If you can kick a few negative habits, you'll have the confidence to tackle more challenging endeavors. Here are 15 tried-and-true techniques for ditching destructive routines for good. Because of the varied experiences we all benefit from, there is no universally applicable formula for kicking undesirable behaviors. Therefore, you should test various combinations of the tactics discussed in this chapter.

Rearrange Your Morning Rituals Author Charles Duhigg demonstrates the profound impact that everyday rituals have on our choices in his book "The Power of Habit." Modifying your daily routine in small but significant ways is the first step toward kicking a harmful habit. Beginning with a well-planned morning routine can set you up for the rest of the day. It's possible, for instance, that you could decide to get up earlier in the morning to have more time to implement the methods discussed in this chapter.

Start Keeping a Journal. A lot of the time, we don't even realize we're making a mistake in the midst

of it. Readers are urged to keep diaries regularly to reflect on their actions and decisions as the day progresses. After keeping a journal for a week, you can reflect on your negative decision-making patterns and identify recurring thoughts, behaviors, or people.

Get a New Perspective on Life by Traveling. Numerous studies have shown that traveling positively affects our mental health and outlook on life. According to one study, people who take trips are more likely to report feeling happy and fulfilled. One more said that travelers are less likely to experience depression than locals. Seeing the world and meeting new people can provide fresh insights into who we are and what's most important to us. Prepare for a vacation to a place you've never been before and make an effort to put yourself in uncharted territory. You'll gain fresh insights and renewed motivation to kick those bad behaviors once and for all.

Be Accountable The best approach I've found to keep myself on track with my goals is to share them and my successes with my friends. Participants in a weight-loss study who posted updates about their progress online were more successful at reaching their weight-loss objectives than those who didn't.

Learn What's Triggering Your Negative Habits, and Do Something About It.

When you act damagingly, there is usually a deeper motivation at play. To break harmful routines, dealing with the emotions that fuel your decisions to act counterproductively is essential. Journaling and psychotherapy are two strategies to bring these feelings to the surface. No matter the approach you take, it's crucial that you delve into your emotions while breaking the associated habits. Find Creative Ways to Convey Your Thoughts and Feelings. A bad habit may represent a misplaced attempt at expressing oneself. It may be helpful to develop other methods of interacting with others and oneself to express deeper, more hidden emotions. Picking up a new artistic skill, like painting or singing, can greatly divert your attention and energy from negative behaviors.

Set a Target that You Can Reach The best way to succeed at breaking a habit is to keep track of your progress and hold yourself accountable. Motivating oneself to succeed and keeping tabs on your development are facilitated by having a clear and quantifiable endpoint. Fun and simple apps available today make keeping track of a wide range of achievements easy and enjoyable. For instance, apps like HabitBull and Strides make it simple to keep tabs on your routines and progress.

Do Something Nice for Others

It's easy to get caught up in worrying or stressful thoughts while trying to break a harmful habit. Time spent in reflection is valuable, but so is a way of living that fosters objectivity. Spending time cultivating habits like mentoring and volunteering can help you break bad habits in the long run.

Seek the Support of Your Loved Ones As was previously noted, having support from loved ones can serve as a powerful accountability tool. Similarly, you may want to explore asking for accountability from your network. Ask them to let you know if they see you developing a negative habit. When indulging in self-destructive behavior, those closest to us generally spot it quicker than we are.

Meditation Try to see meditation as a different kind of hypnosis. Practicing properly can aid in developing an inner serenity that is otherwise elusive. Now more than ever, you can learn the art of meditation with the help of various free or inexpensive resources. Those interested in beginning a meditation practice have two options: Headspace and Calm. Many people who meditate daily report an increase in mental clarity, which can be useful in overcoming addictions and other bad habits.

Put Down the Phone The myriad forms of consumer technology easily divert our attention. Some of Apple's most influential shareholders even sent an open letter demanding

stricter regulation of constant smartphone use. These days, it's easy to get sucked into the tech world and find it challenging to stop for a moment and make a wise decision. As a result, we tend to revert to old ways of doing things. It's easy to make poor decisions without recognizing them if negative habits become second nature. Get some downtime away from your devices daily so you can make more well-informed choices in the long run.

Alter Your Routines Altering your daily activities can help you break bad habits. Altering your schedule drastically can also help you start fresh regarding establishing habits. The best way to force yourself to start new, healthier habits is to make a big change that impacts your daily life. You shouldn't make a shift unless you're confident in your ability to make wiser decisions going forward. You shouldn't make major changes to your routine if you're afraid of relapsing into unhealthy habits.

Don’t Beat Yourself Up When You Make a Mistake Extending compassion to oneself when one engages in detrimental behavior is crucial. If you allow yourself to wallow in the shame of making a poor decision, you increase your risk of repeating that behavior.

Stay Away from People Who Prompt You to Make Bad Choices

The people in our lives can have a profound effect on how we feel and what choices we make. If you can identify the people who trigger your bad judgment, you must put distance between yourself and them. Not doing so will make making nutritious food selections much more challenging.

CONCLUSION Your Mind Is Your Most Powerful Weapon Now that you have seen that change is possible, it’s time to act. The strategies in this book are designed to help you master your mind and master your life. Your mind is the greatest tool of transformation in your life. Master it and you can create an amazingly successful life!

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