Manipulation & Body Language : Reading, manipulating & detecting lies - Learn all about psychology & manipulation, mental strength & dealing with people - Mind control book 3289990949

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Manipulation & Body Language : Reading, manipulating & detecting lies - Learn all about psychology & manipulation, mental strength & dealing with people - Mind control book
 3289990949

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Table of contents :
Table of contents
Manipulation and body language
What does manipulation mean?
Where do people encounter manipulation?
Different manipulation techniques
Reciprocity rule, the principle of reciprocity
Disrupt then reframe — Lookout! This is a dangerous kind of manipulation
The simplicity of DTR has a captivating effect
Scientific evidence for disrupt then reframe
Gaslighting — are you exposed to emotional manipulation?
What exactly is Gaslighting?
What kind of people use Gaslighting?
Emotional manipulation at work
Gaslighting — the signs
To resist gaslighting
5 strategies to detect and ward off hidden manipulations
Body language — talking without words
The power of body language over the spoken word
Interpret body language and decipher different gestures
The interpretation of body language
Power poses — for self-confidence and stress reduction
The eyes - a deep insight into the soul
Posture — the reflection of self-confidence
The interpretation of posture
Tips for posture and body language
The interaction of different factors for your presentation
Use attempts at manipulation for your benefit
Manipulate situations and work successfully with them
How you manipulate people to achieve your goal
No more being the puppet of other people

Citation preview

Manipulation & Body language

Reading, manipulating & detecting lies Learn all about psychology & manipulation, mental strength & dealing with people Mind control book

General Psychology books Volume 2

©2020 Max Krone All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission of the author.

Table of contents Table of contents Manipulation and body language What does manipulation mean? Where do people encounter manipulation? Different manipulation techniques Reciprocity rule, the principle of reciprocity Disrupt then reframe — Lookout! This is a dangerous kind of manipulation THE SIMPLICITY OF DTR HAS A CAPTIVATING EFFECT SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE FOR DISRUPT THEN REFRAME GASLIGHTING — ARE YOU EXPOSED TO EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION? What exactly is Gaslighting? What kind of people use Gaslighting? Emotional manipulation at work Gaslighting — the signs To resist gaslighting

5 strategies to detect and ward off hidden manipulations Body language — talking without words The power of body language over the spoken word Interpret body language and decipher different gestures The interpretation of body language Power poses — for self-confidence and stress reduction The eyes - a deep insight into the soul Posture — the reflection of self-confidence THE INTERPRETATION OF POSTURE

Tips for posture and body language THE INTERACTION OF DIFFERENT FACTORS FOR YOUR PRESENTATION

Use attempts at manipulation for your benefit

Manipulate situations and work successfully with them How you manipulate people to achieve your goal No more being the puppet of other people

Manipulation and body language Since the 1980s there has been an interesting assumption in psychology. It assumes that every human being is a manipulator. Not only in certain moments but always! Even a baby can master this ability. Because through its crying it manipulates its parents because it cries out to be fed. Parents in turn manipulate their children with punishments and rewards. This is called an educational measure to direct the children in a certain direction. Even in a love relationship there is strong manipulation. People use affection or the withdrawal of love for this purpose. The resulting emotions are an alternating bath that has a manipulative effect. It should give the love relationship the right spice so that the interest is not lost.

Everywhere in life people are manipulated to hell: in their free time, at work, while shopping, with friends and family. If this hypothesis is true, people do nothing without a specific motive to improve their chances.

Even if the manipulation is not always carried out consciously, there is the calculation behind it. There is a whole range of manipulation techniques that people master down to the smallest detail. Whoever encounters a manipulative person who is only out to make himself appear in the best light can suffer great harm.

Since these people are very kind and radiate a lot of charm, the real intentions are not even seen. Their behavior only serves to steer you in a certain direction. Perhaps you will experience this strange feeling that makes you think. You begin to think that something is wrong. You quickly put this way of thinking aside because you do not want to assume the worst. You should have listened to your gut feeling once more.

When you finally realize that you have fallen into the manipulation trap, it is already too late. Real manipulators masterfully manage to hide their true intentions very well. The doubts they have about their character will quickly turn into a guilty conscience or worse into self-doubt, which will automatically come to you.

Sometimes they master manipulation so masterfully that they even believe their deceptions. You will encounter manipulation on a grand scale in advertising. It’s not only the pretty brochures that you regularly have in your mailbox but also the commercial breaks on TV that interrupt the film at regular intervals, whenever it gets particularly exciting. Even if you use this break to go to the fridge, keywords from the commercials will remain in your memory. These are stored quite unconsciously when your interest is aroused. You probably know the situation: Out of the blue you are interested in something you have never thought about before.

You sit down at your computer and do some research, maybe even get offers on a specific item and believe that this item will enrich your life. Oops! Then the advertising industry has managed to manipulate you. Manipulation has many faces. Manipulation also works with body language. But there are ways and means to recognize manipulation and to protect yourself from it.

What does manipulation mean? The term manipulation is a combination of the Latin words “manus” (hand) and “plere” (fill) and can be translated as handling. Since manipulation is a hidden form of influence, it is very often used in psychology, sociology and on the political parquet. It serves to skillfully disguise true motives and to get you to do things you don’t want to do. You do not see through the actual motives of the manipulators. There are many motives for why people are manipulated. In the foreground is the self-interest or the advantages that bring the manipulator closer to his goal.

The expression of manipulative behavior may vary and does not necessarily mean that there is a personality disorder. However, if the manipulation is equivalent to narcissism, it is an antisocial personality disorder. If selfish, fraudulent behavior results, this is called psychopathy, a severe personality disorder. Manipulation is not always synonymous with targeted exploitation. Just think of our politicians who make big speeches in the Bundestag. They rant about the other parties, accuse you of misconduct and use words to conjure up an impressive illusion that is intended to make you believe that your party makes everything better. This manipulation serves as “propaganda”. Propaganda means nothing more than manipulating opinions to change them and steer them in a different direction. Politicians spread ideological ideas in their speeches to manipulate the

population with views, opinions and the raised finger. A sad example of successful manipulation can be found in German history. It refers to the Third Reich. An entire people were manipulated with body language, the voice and the correctly chosen words. Today it is no different. Whoever watches the different news programs or reads different daily newspapers gets the same information, packaged differently, delivered.

Behind this lies opinion-making and manipulation, because the information transmitted is given a different weighting. The result is a different picture in each case and clearly shows in which direction the information is aimed. To recognize this, the information must of course be questioned and checked for its truthfulness. The human being strives for life without emotional influence, where he decides autonomously and freely. Reason and passion should be the basis for his decisions and not the result of manipulation. It is therefore important that you recognize when you are being manipulated. Once you have gained this insight, you can ward off manipulation, counteract it or even use it for your purpose.

Where do people encounter manipulation? Manipulation is omnipresent. A suggestion is used as an effective lever to influence you in your actions, thinking and behavior. No human being is immune to manipulation and can be directed in a certain direction. However, if you deal with the subject, gain a lot of knowledge and know which techniques are used, you can recognize, question and even resist manipulation. If influence is the reason for manipulation, it is about changing and reshaping decisions, opinions, attitudes, thoughts and actions. To do this, various types of influence are used to change the will, attitude, viewpoint and even personality. There is a wide field for manipulation with different effects.

Autosuggestion or self-influencing Values Religious attitudes and beliefs Education Family and partnership Workplace, supervisor, and boss external appearance (clothing, language, voice, appearance, body language…) World Wide Web and social media channels Advertising (newspapers, magazines, leaflets…) Media (television, radio…) Public meetings

The

manipulation

is

done

by

flattery,

demonstrative

superiority, provocation and the creation of emotions because this is how attention is drawn. Cursing, threatening, highlighting special amenities, arousing positive feelings and desires. In combination with a request for action the manipulation succeeds perfectly.

Other influencing mechanisms include The choice of language A pictorial way of expressing yourself and the Body language.

Take a closer look at advertising on television under these aspects. What do you see? The short advertising sequences always appeal to a certain age group. If, for example, a cream is advertised that is supposed to relieve joint pain, the advertising will appeal to people over the age of 60. If it’s about agility, and unadapted lifestyle, freedom and adventure, young people can be seen on the screen. Car manufacturers like to use clichés in their advertising and suggest that anything can be done when driving that particular car. Thus, advertising addresses exactly the target group that is desired as future customers.

This kind of manipulation gives the feeling of being actively listened to. The manipulated person feels taken seriously. Advertising and politics use the so-called conviction pyramid

for their manipulation. It consists of several levels, which are composed as follows from the top to the base.

The tip is the content, The middle part is the voice and The pedestal is the personality.

As the pyramid shows, people are convincing through their personality and voice. The content or the product is less in focus at first. According to this, manipulative people possess special expressiveness and naturalness. This radiates self-confidence. They do not make a big effort to present themselves correctly and manipulate others. You succeed in quickly eliminating resistance and reservations and you have the gift of connecting your visions with the ideas of your conversation partner or listener. The effect is intensified by constant repetition. Certain words and word contents are used to direct other people in their direction. Nothing else you do yourself in autosuggestion when you want to change something. Therefore, the chosen wording and words are of great importance to intensify the effect. This power of speech is very often used by advertising experts, politicians, therapists, medical doctors and social pedagogues.

The Austrian-American communication scientist, philosopher, psychotherapist and author Paul Watzlawick describes an extraordinary phenomenon in his book “The Possibility of

Otherness”. He writes that it has been possible to remove warts from a child with words. At first this sounds completely absurd. However, there is a psychosomatic reaction behind it, which causes the blood vessels to constrict and the wart simply dies off. A coin is used to transfer ownership of the wart to another person. Usually this works and shows what power spoken words have on people.

That is why words can be used as a dangerous weapon. They can hurt, leave deep wounds and cause pain. You encounter verbal influence every day when using words. To do this, the content of words is reinterpreted or even twisted. Instead of terrorists, the word freedom fighter is used, and the word guest worker is used to describe foreign workers. There are many examples. There are also these emotive words, which express a quality of life and spread false facts. They serve to make things or things look especially good.

A good example: You have shopped in the many online shops more often, read the customer reviews beforehand and rely on customer satisfaction. Unfortunately, it is not clear how many customers have expressed their satisfaction. If, for example, 20 statements were written about the product and 15 of these were positive, there is a high level of customer satisfaction. But what about the many other customers who did not bother to write a review? The result of customer satisfaction may be correct. However, it is only slightly representative.

For manipulation to work, uncertainty is often spread to give more credibility to one’s own words. Because vague statements, the search for the right words and unclear gossip give what is said a higher value. The pictorial expression has a special effect.

Those who can formulate words pictorially will convey emphasis and emphasize the importance of the words said. The resulting images are imprinted in the long-term memory. This method is used for example in autogenic training and hypnosis therapies. Pictorial descriptions lead to sudden changes in behavior. The images produced have an amazingly convincing effect that you encounter day in, day out. The form of manipulation can be found in advertising and sales psychology. It is based on wishes and needs and influences behavior and actions. In motivation research there is the basic model called AIDA. These four letters stand for:

A = Attract attention I = arouse interest D = Do create an urge to fulfill the wish A = Action (buy, sell, trade)

If the manipulator succeeds incorrectly using the wishes and needs of other people, he can control and influence people

from the outside and have a lasting effect on them. Advertising makes use of this possibility of manipulation, such as CocaCola with the following core statement.

“Take a break - drink Coca-Cola!”

With this statement, the company emphasizes the importance of time off, work breaks and breaks and responds to a human need. In this way, they ensure that the same idea always arises in connection with Coca-Cola. They take time for a break and meanwhile sharpen the perception that only with this delicious soft drink can time out become a special experience.

Different manipulation techniques There are a variety of manipulation techniques. They are used in different areas to achieve the best results through manipulation. You can find them not only in conversation with another person but also in negotiations, in sales talks, in presentations, at advertising events, in radio and television commercials and in politics, where they are disguised as propaganda. The following 10 manipulation techniques are most frequently used:

1. Herd instinct 2. Persistence method 3. Authority trick 4. Law of scarcity and exclusivity 5. Friendship trick 6. Repetitions 7. Selective information 8. Convincing arguments 9. Emotional tricks 10. Reciprocity principle

To understand what these manipulation techniques are all about, you will learn in the following explanation:

1. Herd instinct The herd instinct is also often used for manipulation, as people believe that millions of people cannot err. This is enough evidence. But those who know the lemmings know very well that the herd instinct tempts people to do stupid things. Therefore, caution should be exercised when it comes to peer pressure and reviews. If you know what is important to you, you can oppose the herd instinct and counteract this way of manipulation. A nice example of the herd instinct is that companies present their product as the best-selling ones. In the same way, gossip or laughter is inserted in talk shows at strategically important points. It serves to attract attention and simultaneously to make you laugh, even if the joke or statement is flat.

2. Persistence method From the little finger, you pass to someone else will quickly become a complete appropriation. This method is similar to the “foot in the door” principle and moves you to take the first small step that goes in a certain direction. The first small favor you give to another person is used as a door opener to influence or persuade you more easily afterward. Often it is enough to be asked if you can take a quick look at something. Afterward, you are guaranteed to be asked whether you will take over the task. Due to the persistence method used, there is a high probability that you will not say no. Don’t decide according to the principle “Whoever says A, must also say B”, but rather listen to your gut feeling. It will tell you whether you want to or not!

3. Authority trick This manipulation technique uses a combination of confident, convincing appearance and credible sounding arguments. However, the arguments do not necessarily correspond to the truth. The technique works perfectly when there is no claim to authority. Authority can also be borrowed, as many a manipulator who hides behind a supposed authority does. The underlying purpose is to eliminate all doubts. Stanley Milgram provides a good example of the authority trick with his electric shock experiment. Experiments show that 60 percent of the participants, who were instructed by authorities, had no reservations about giving the test participants electric shocks that would cause death by their strength. After each alleged electric shock, the test persons cried out in pain, groaned and begged to stop the experiment. However, the authority-driven participants did not get involved because experts influenced them.

That knowledge is power should be clear to everyone. Therefore, you should always inform yourself, especially when resistance arises. Question the expert status. If you are denied an answer to this question, the alarm bells should ring especially loudly! Because something is wrong. You will encounter the authority trick everywhere. And if you are honest, the following sentences have already convinced you:

American scientists have found out in studies… The result of a renowned management consultancy has shown… Our products are certified with the quality seal of the more or less renowned institute.

4. Law of scarcity and exclusivity From advertising you know the sentence “While stocks last!” only too well. It is not only used by teleshopping channels but in almost every advertisement. It creates a feeling in the customer that the product is almost sold out. Thoughts quickly spread that this product is desirable. Otherwise, it would not be so desirable and almost sold out. These apparent bottlenecks are advertising strategies that you manipulate by making the product attractive. To avoid this manipulation, you should find out where your needs lie and not let yourself be pressured. Your decision is influenced by keywords such as auction, clearance sale, bargain or special edition. Suddenly things become a priority, even if no thought has been given to them before. If you get the idea of such manipulation, you need not have a guilty conscience if you do not accept the invitation.

5. Friendship trick The friendship trick is based on the fact that you rarely refuse a wish to people you know. With phrases like “Pleasant! Pleased to meet you!” creates a pleasant atmosphere. This paves the way for the manipulator to influence you.

You can recognize this kind of manipulation by the conspicuous behavior of the person opposite. It reflects your behavior, body language, spoken words, and statements. A good example of this is used car dealers from US-American series, who quite coincidentally have the same hobby as the specific customer.

6. Repetition If you are always exposed to constant repetition, you are easier to manipulate. Because there’s a saying that goes, “Constant dripping wears the stone.” The credibility of statements is increased by constant repetition. This is tantamount to brainwashing, as the tendency increases for you to take a statement made at face value. At the same time, familiarity is increased, which in turn creates trust. A good example of this is commercials that are regularly repeated with a high frequency, as well as brand symbols at sporting events that appear repeatedly in many places.

7. Selective information In this case, manipulation takes place by omitting and highlighting relevant details. There is a large scope of design between truth and lie, which is used. You must explore the possible interests of the manipulator. This gives you clues and allows you to exercise caution. Selective information can be obtained, for example, from propaganda and studies that pursue a predetermined objective.

8. Convincing arguments Strong arguments provide the opportunity to influence an individual or a whole group. This form of manipulation prevents any further discussion on a specific topic. Striking arguments or killer phrases are for example:

It was always done this way! It doesn’t work that way anyway! It’s none of our business!

9. Emotional tricks Manipulation via emotions is quite easy because the appeal is to the feeling and not to reason. If a request is not enforceable on the factual level, it can sometimes be enforced via emotion tracking. The manipulation technique is used to limit or interrupt the ability to criticize. The emotional track is used with sad photos during fundraising campaigns, horror scenarios and pictorial representations in sales talks with subsequent business transactions.

10. Reciprocity principle The reciprocity rule is one of the most frequently used forms of manipulation to which you are repeatedly exposed. That is why there is a separate chapter for this.

Reciprocity rule, the principle of reciprocity Quote: “Pay every debt as if God would write the check.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

There is no knowledge whether the Ruritanian and philosopher has already internalized the principle of reciprocity. However, this quotation clearly illustrates the commitment to reciprocity. There are also numerous sociologists, such as Alvin Gouldner, who have been able to prove this rule in human societies. Just think of social networks. Cohesion is created by reciprocity. It creates roped parties, cliques and cronies, which express themselves through certain expressions. In other words: “One hand washes the other” or “Like you to me, I to you”.

An example: Creating a guilty conscience with small favors is one of the most frequently used manipulation techniques. A society that works is based on reciprocity and exchange.

The reciprocity rule generally describes that people who receive something are highly motivated to give something back or to give something in return. The reciprocity principle

concerning manipulation is based on exploitation, so that the balance between giving and taking is upset because there is a specific intention behind the reciprocity. The other person feels manipulated, which causes a disturbance in living together.

Stay alert so that the favor trap does not snap when manipulating. If you know how to use the reciprocity effect correctly, you will be highly susceptible to being influenced and will manage to make you compliant in no time. The subtle effect creates an oversized power of impact. You know these free samples that you get in the supermarket or in front of shops. These are exactly the ones that work on the principle. Salespeople who offer to care for your hands or “take another sip” are aimed at your guilty conscience. This means that you will be guilelessly falling into the favor trap. The result: You buy the great hand cream or the delicious fruit juice. With this perfidious trick, promoters in the supermarket, for example, succeed in generating great sales. For example, Vance Packard, a super promoter from the 1950s, asked customers to cut a free sample from the cheese themselves, thereby selling 500 kilograms of cheese in just a few hours. These customers ultimately fell victim to the initial greed.

Another example is the organization of American war-disabled people. They recorded a decline in willingness to donate around 18 percent in standard calls for donations. However, if the requests for donations contained a small gift, such as a

pretty postcard, the success rate rose by over 35 percent. This may seem clumsy, but it has a great effect. Gifts create a feeling of solidarity and simultaneously create a sense of guilt. The resulting strain gives the motivation to do something about it. No one wants to be stamped with the moocher’s stamp. This is why it happens that people sometimes do not accept gifts.

Of course, science has also investigated this and could prove the following:

Ladies who are invited by gentlemen are classified as easy to have. This classification is the same for men and women! Anyone who falls into this form of manipulation is much quicker to make concessions. This is particularly true in negotiations. After all, it is not just a question of getting even, but rather of the following: It is much easier for the first to make a sacrifice, to determine the time for the quid pro quo and then to demand it.

A small example: You go to your boss with a request for a 10 percent pay rise. You know in advance that his answer will be “can’t be done, it’s impossible”. So, after a little small talk, you try a 5% raise plus expenses… and you’ll have your boss in your pocket. You just sacrificed 5% of your initial 10% raise. This will make it much harder for your boss to refuse your request for more money. Take a closer look at collective bargaining in the big unions. In the beginning there are always completely exaggerated demands. There is a very specific

reason for this: despite the concessions made during the negotiations, the trade unions are coming much closer to the desired goal. This is where the game of reciprocity is played to its perfect conclusion. But caution is also called for! Because over-stimulation leads to exactly the opposite happening. The Israeli University of Bar-Ilan has researched this. The results showed that unrealistic, exaggerated demands deny the negotiating partner the seriousness of the negotiations.

A later concession is seen as a necessary straightening and not a real concession. The effect will be the one you didn’t want to have in the first place: The actual effect of the principle of reciprocity has vanished into thin air. But you can defend yourself against reciprocity traps very well. One possibility is that you categorically refuse gifts. However, not every gift is based on the expectation of getting something back.

There are even people who give gifts because they want to make you happy without paying a long assumed debt. So, think carefully about whether you want to use this little social behavior. It is better to take a closer look to see if the gifts have a specific purpose. Now you have the opportunity to simply turn the tables, accept the gift. Nothing more! Just act according to what the reciprocity rule tells you. Any attempt to take advantage of you should be used for your benefit.

Disrupt then reframe — Lookout! This is a dangerous kind of manipulation Especially if you want to generate great sales, you should memorize these three words well. But also those who want to defend themselves against DTR should take a closer look. Because “disrupt then reframe” is the most manipulative and influential of all sales techniques that exist. There are certainly fierce discussions about whether the sales technique is ethically justifiable and should be used. It is not possible to discuss whether this technique really and very well works. Even scientific studies confirm this. But what is behind this method and how does it work?

The simplicity of DTR has a captivating effect Let’s start with an example: Your front doorbell rings and there is a person outside with colorful postcards that he wants to sell for an aid organization. He is on his way with a selfmade identity card and offers you supposedly child’s hand-painted cards, which are in large quantities of China goods and want to sell them to you at a high price. A packet of eight colorful postcards costs you 3 dollars. Such a scenario has been studied by US-American scientists. They concluded that 4 out of 10 households bought the cards for the overpriced price. Accordingly, the chances of success are 40 percent.

The researchers took the next step and used “disrupt then reframe”. The ticket seller at the front door now told us that the packet of 8 tickets cost 300 pennies. As a postscript right after: “This is a real bargain!” Now you’re probably wondering what good it will do. You will be amazed! It’s going to do a lot of good. The door seller was able to show a sales success rate of 80 percent, doubling the number of households that bought. Now it was 8 out of 10 households. This confusing and reinterpreting technique plays with your mind. That’s why it’s considered dangerous and precarious. What happens is this:

The first step is a targeted disruption of your thinking routines and patterns. Up to now, you have not known any offer of “300 pennies”. Such an offer is not common and demands all your attention because you have to think about how many pennies make a dollar. Why does the seller not use dollars or euros, but rather quite cryptically “300 pennies” or cents? What is behind this?

You have real chaos of thoughts. Exactly this moment is used for reinterpretation. It must be done within a few seconds. Because only as long as the confusion continues, the desired effect will be achieved. This is where postscripts like “this is a unique opportunity” come into play. Bargains or special offers also work very well. They manipulate you so that you simply have to strike. Because of your confused mind, you are so distracted that the reinterpretation can unfold in full strength and size. You accept the supposedly good interpretation and make yourself aware that it can only be a one-time opportunity and that you have no time to check the seller’s statement. However, this only works in face-to-face shops like in shops or at markets. For online trading, technology is less useful.

Scientific evidence for disrupt then reframe Are you asking yourself how technology can be used in other ways? Various scientists have also asked themselves this question. That is why there are already 14 studies with several hundred participants. The results are astonishing:

There was an increased willingness to donate. People are seduced by the method to participate in surveys, Change their mind And buy all kinds of products.

Childlike traits were expressed especially in the phase of confusion. At a charity bazaar, researchers called cupcakes “half-cakes” or simply a change of words was used in another experiment. Instead of “some money”, “money some” was used, even though this word constellation is grammatically completely meaningless. The technique had all the more impact. This should not be an incentive to use “disrupt then reframe”. Rather, this statement is intended to educate and raise awareness to determine when you will be confronted with DTR. Unfortunately, no protection works safely. The first step you can take the next time you are confused before you buy, just don’t buy anything!

Gaslighting — are you exposed to emotional manipulation? If you feel that your sensory impressions have been misdirected lately, you may have fallen victim to emotional manipulation. This kind of manipulation is called gaslighting. It leads to a situation where you seemingly can no longer trust your emotions and memories. The trigger for this is an intimate relationship between you and the manipulator. That is why you do not suspect anything for the time being. This has fatal consequences because you become a puppet in your way of thinking and with your feelings. Gaslighting can be found out so that you can fight against it.

What exactly is Gaslighting? Gaslighting is used for a special kind of manipulation and describes a kind of abuse in which your self-confidence is dismantled piece by piece. During this process you are manipulated and doubts are spread over a longer period to shake and finally destroy your confidence in yourself.

There is a play from 1938 by Patrick Hamilton. It is called Gaslight and shows the procedure of this psychological manipulation. In later years the play was also filmed. The manipulative husband tries to drive his wife crazy by doing little things. For example, he changes the light sources in the surrounding area with gas lighting and claims that he did not

do this. He claims that his wife is mistaken and continues to play this game. The manipulation according to this procedure is based on a deliberate deception so that the other person questions his perception. For this purpose, the manipulator mainly uses the following scheme: Mislead Deny Lie Contradict

The existing relationship of trust is used by the manipulator to create insecurity and thus to create mental dependence. His goal is to completely control and manipulate you. Gaslighting is not something you should consider succinct. This kind of manipulation is a drastic, psychological abuse, which can even lead to the systematic destruction of your selfconfidence and perception driving you insane. Whoever falls victim to Gaslighting needs psychological support. Otherwise, the experiences are not processed and no new stability is gained.

What kind of people use Gaslighting? Since every person can be manipulated, everyone is in danger of being manipulated mentally. Narcissists and religious leaders are particularly likely to use mental manipulation. It is like brainwashing, which you will not notice because gaslighting is done very slowly. But why does it come to this? Those who allow themselves to be manipulated see the

manipulator as a person to whom comprehensive knowledge and the greatest competence are attributed. In contrast, you feel yourself to be only a small, inconspicuous light. You become emotionally dependent. Facts are twisted to manipulate you. Events of a certain kind just didn’t happen. The manipulator spreads lies and his behavior and formulations cause great uncertainty. You are made to know that you are wrong and that everything was or is completely different. If you experience Gaslighting in your partnership, it is called a dysfunctional relationship.

The manipulators often have a personality disorder that manifests itself in a narcissistic vein. They act out of a sadistic emotion to make the partner emotionally dependent. With power and control they want to dominate the victim. Often such manipulative behavior arises from your fear that you might leave the manipulator. There is no consideration in the thoughts and actions of these people. Their interests come first. For genuine compassion these people lack the skills. It is also not possible to have objective discussions with them because they are immediately offended, become aggressive or even violent. You are very skilled in your approach and try to make others believe that they are crazy. This mental abuse is usually committed by someone close to you, such as a close friend, partner or even family. In other words, trusted people who are important to you and on whom you rely can become perpetrators and manipulate you. In addition to entering your home to manipulate the computer,

move and damage objects, an extreme manifestation can even lead to stalking.

Although anyone can be a victim of emotional abuse, it is predominantly women who are affected. Although there are no empirical studies, the reason for gaslighting among women may be the classic distribution of roles. Men have the dominant role in a relationship, which women have to submit to. However, women are also found among the perpetrators. Wherever interpersonal relationships exist, manipulative behavior occurs. For example, parents make their children feel guilty so that more effort is made at school or help is given in the household. Female perpetrators also flirt with other men to make their husbands jealous. The purpose of this is to make men try to woo them again, buy them an expensive watch or have sex again. All these things are already attempts of manipulation, even if they are still quite harmless. Similarly, they continue in the job.

Emotional manipulation at work In your private environment you can avoid emotionally manipulative people. But this is difficult at work. Because no matter whether you work part-time or full-time, for 20 hours at least you are exposed to the emotional attacks.

Emotional manipulation often occurs together with bossing and bullying. Situations arise out of nowhere, where an employee is exposed in front of the whole staff and facts are distorted. Since there is no obvious reason for this public attack, such an attack is not expected at all. There are several reasons why this procedure is used. Sometimes Gaslighting may be used to maintain its power.

If the superior resorts to bullying, the attempt is often made to get rid of unpleasant employees who cannot be dismissed so easily.

Gaslighting — the signs Often emotional abuse follows a similar pattern. However, the person affected needs some time to recognize the repetitions in the pattern. Theoretically, it is normal to question the opinion of other people and to compare it with one’s own opinion. If the feeling arises that your perception is influenced because another person tells you something, all alarm bells should go off. You can see from the following examples whether someone is trying to manipulate you emotionally:

Are you out of your mind? I can’t stand you! You’re lucky I’m still behind you. Your imagination is playing tricks on you. I never said that! Your perception is not working properly!

Have you forgotten again what I told you? You seem to suffer from a loss of reality! Your memory is playing tricks on you. You’re twisting the facts. It never happened that way. My God, you’re touchy! You’d better see a psychologist.

Gaslighting creates a selective perception that can be quite incomplete. A good hint is provided by your gut feeling, which you should listen to calmly to develop a feeling for emotional manipulation. The following typical signs are from the American psychologist Dr. Stephanie Sarkis, which you should pay close attention to.

Question of guilt The question of guilt is solved quite quickly, as you are always blamed for the “black Peter”. To make you believe that you are the guilty party, claims are made that you are the culprit. It is said that everything has been explained to you in detail until you finally put on the wrong shoe. As a result, you begin to bend.

Hypocrisy There are these people who are friendly towards you when something happens and pretend that nothing happened and the next moment this person stiffly and firmly claims the opposite

to other people. In such a situation it is difficult to prove that the facts have been distorted. Moreover, Gaslighters know very well how to prevent you from putting the alleged facts into perspective and saying what actually happened.

Time frame The fatal thing about gaslighting is the time that the emotional abuse takes. Here and there smaller and bigger untruths are told. This is not noticed at first until a great danger has developed from it.

Intrigues Gaslighters are masters at forging intrigues. They are excellent at making claims. Besides, they are true lie barons. Therefore, be always aware that what is said can be freely invented to spread uncertainty. The emotional manipulation will bring you so far that you will lose confidence and withdraw yourself from people who are not up to any harm. The Gaslighter has managed to isolate you and gain control over you.

To resist gaslighting First you have to recognize the signs of gaslighting. This is the first important step. If shame and fear are your constant companions, something is wrong. But with the following tip you will be able to defend yourself against emotional manipulation:

1. Break off contact with people who always have these feelings of shame and fear Through distance and without the malicious, manipulating inputs, you have the chance to think clearly and regain self-confidence.

2. Seek professional help. Therapists and psychologists are familiar with the various methods of manipulation. With their expertise they will understand you, find out the method behind the manipulation and help you. With their help you will be able to rebuild your weakened self-esteem. You will see more clearly again and can stand your ground in everyday life.

3. Seek support from family and friends and tell these people about your observations These people will help you and support you in your perception. In the same way, you can serve as a witness when the manipulating person is present and prevent them from trying to manipulate you emotionally again. In many cases, the manipulation attempt is only carried out when you are alone

with the manipulator. The first thing to do is to turn your back on the social isolation you have been put into by the manipulator. This is important for the Gaslighter to be able to control you completely. Allies or a third person you call in have a very effective effect.

4. By taking minutes of your conversations, by recording facts and statements in a diary, you have the proof that you are not crazy, but are being manipulated. Writing it down will strengthen your self-confidence and dispel any doubts that may arise. Because you can prove the correctness of your perception in black and white. You succeed in exposing lies and taking the offensive, especially when the manipulator denies everything.

Important: Do not enter into discussions with the Gaslighter if you want to uncover the truth. You will only waste valuable power and energy without achieving a positive result. Many people who emotionally manipulate others firmly believe in their misguided reality. Create distance between you and the perpetrator and focus on your future life. Establish a strong self-confidence. This is the best protection against emotional manipulation. Go through life attentively, perceive changes consciously and check them for correctness.

5 strategies to detect and ward off hidden manipulations There are different strategies you can use to identify manipulative people. There are such people in your immediate environment, in your family, but also in your circle of friends and acquaintances and at work. The closest companion is the partner. If you have the feeling that influence is being exerted on you undercover from this environment, you can uncover and counteract manipulation with various defense mechanisms.

1. Pay attention information

to

questionable

procurement

of

When you are conducting conversations, pay close attention to how the conversation is presented. If it takes the form of an interview, so that the communication is very one-way, the person you are talking to wants to learn more about you and gather information. The information is then used to manipulate you and take you in the desired direction. For this to succeed, the other person must gain knowledge of your strengths and weaknesses. A good manipulator is characterized by his supposed strengths. He knows very well how to hide his weaknesses. Your weaknesses are used by him to influence you, no matter whether this results in damage for you in the end. But there are good possibilities to fight against sounding out. If you feel that the communication is too onesided, try to turn the tables and find out more about yours.

A successful interview is based on mutual exchange and does not become an interview. Only try to reveal things in the interview that the interviewer should know about and don’t let him or her influence you to go deeper into your thinking and emotions to find out more. Steer the conversation in a different direction by asking many questions or countering with counter-questions. In the best case, you create the feeling in your conversation partner that he or she is not learning anything about you. This defuses the situation.

2. Truths with a false bottom People who want to manipulate their way of thinking do not take the truth so seriously. Stories are told that never happen or are only half the truth. Often these people are so good at it that the information is not directly recognized as half-truth or lies. This is because manipulators do not have a guilty conscience when they build up a story that serves their purpose. But lies can be exposed quickly. Because the interlocutor needs an explanation if he or she asks targeted, apparently trivial questions. He or she answers excessively and tries to justify himself or herself effusively.

Especially situations that scratch the image of the liar and put him in the wrong light need a special presentation from his point of view. There are special situations, where liars immediately attract attention. A good example of this is the

accusation of not acting fairly but selfishly or criticism on the job.

If you feel that you are facing dubious truths, disarm that person with questions. If there are no answers at all or only evasive answers and nervousness sets in, you can assume that you have just caught a liar. Further, more specific questions will even make your retreat.

3. Take a closer look at the exaggerated charm One of the greatest weapons of manipulators is the excessive charm. Therefore, you should take a closer look at whether the charming appearance is in keeping with your temperament or is just an act to flatter you and learn more about you. You can recognize manipulators by the following indications:

Before a request is made, you will receive compliments. Favors are only done in situations where there is an advantage for the person. Certain gestures are only used for personal benefit. Charm is only used when the situation promises advantages. These people are less charming in other, nonadvantageous situations.

If these points are true, you are dealing with a person who is charming for selfish reasons. It is not an honest, sincere charm,

but a superficial behavior that is only used for self-interest. Such people are dazzlers, and you should not be fooled by them. Therefore, observe and question the motives for their charming behavior. Charming behavior should not be linked to conditions, just as a favor you do for someone should not be linked to conditions. Just say “no” once when a person with charm ensnares you and then wants something from you. Superficial charm quickly takes advantage of your good nature because the clear view is clouded.

4. Role patterns give a very deep insight Manipulators present themselves as martyrs and are seen as good-natured, helping, self-sacrificing people who do everything right. These apparent sacrifices made by the person evoke compassion and sympathy in others, which only serves to manipulate another person. People who want to manipulate quickly recognize the weaknesses of other people and use them to blackmail you emotionally. Because they know exactly what causes you pain. With targeted criticism they evoke a feeling of inferiority and scratch your self-confidence.

The result of this situation is a feeling of emotional obligation, so you push yourself into the role of having to prove something to yourself. An alleged basis of trust can also be an indication of a certain role pattern that ultimately amounts to manipulation. A good example is a secret that is entrusted to you, which is later linked to a certain favor. Here you can be sure that this person wants to manipulate you and use you for his benefit. Make sure that telling the secret is only to learn more about you. This information is guaranteed to be used against you later. If you do not fulfill the intended role, you will be ignored or even punished with contempt and ignorance. If someone else wants to impose this role on you, where compassion is the main thing and favors are demanded of you, you should say “no”. Favors are always for unselfish reasons. Manipulative people play with your emotions and try to elicit secrets from you by making you feel guilty. The best way to recognize role

patterns is to observe, to express your opinion and not to trust hastily.

5. Check that your decisions are free from manipulation People who want to manipulate are characterized by the fact that they influence the opinions and decisions of others. To recognize manipulation, you have to take a closer look at and reflect on your freedom of decision. You can do this with the following questions:

Has the decision been made without the intervention of others? Has external pressure been exerted during the decision-making process? Is your opinion strongly influenced by another person? Are there fears that someone may be disappointed by their decision? Are there consequences if your opinion should not be different?

If you answer “yes” to these questions, your freedom of choice is influenced by a manipulative person and no longer corresponds to your emotions and needs. These are employed at the back and are not considered. For the manipulator, his well-being and goal are paramount. Everything else falls by the wayside.

Important: No one has the right to make decisions over your head. You should trust your judgment. If you consider a decision to be right and good, assert yourself without restrictions. Your common sense will guide you correctly. Just because someone insists on their right does not mean that your decision is wrong. Through reflection, you can see the basis on which your decision is based. If the arguments are convincing, you should not deviate from your opinion or decision and not allow yourself to be influenced.

Body language — talking without words Even though body language is a powerful instrument of manipulators, it should not be forgotten that it is only one part of the non-verbal communication that can make you feel guilty. Mimics and gestures are also part of it. The more controlled you are in your dealings with them, the easier it is for you to influence people and win them over. Many believe to know how non-verbal communication works.

But if you take a closer look, you will see that it is not that easy. Many hidden signals are transmitted with arms, hands and microexpressions. True professionals in the field manage to manipulate you faster than you can look. They send out non-verbal signals lasting a few milliseconds that you don’t even notice and the manipulator has you in his clutches. Everything you perceive in your environment and other people influence you in your thoughts and actions. If the perceptual stimulus is strong enough, a biochemical process is set in motion after the sensory impressions are processed. As soon as this happens, manipulation is caused. If this reaction had not occurred, you would not have been covertly influenced.

The power of body language over the spoken word For example, the power of body language becomes very clear in political speakers, who, with certain gestures and facial expressions, give more weight to the spoken word and emphasize its great importance. The spoken word only has a significance of seven percent. In contrast, 93 percent use nonverbal signals or body language, which creates an optimal basis for manipulating other people with gestures, facial expressions, posture, arms and hands. The body language shows whether the person opposite feels comfortable or not. With the combination of voice, body language and posture, the inner attitude is quickly revealed. A person who knows the power of body language knows exactly how to use the expression, speech rate, pauses and body language to get you in the desired direction and influence you in that direction. The appearance provides an overall picture. The beauty of it is that you can train body language and use it for your benefit.

In the same way, you can also use body language to expose yourself to him when he is telling you lies. There is even some scientific evidence for this. In a conversation you will quickly discover the lie if the words and body language are in a tense relationship. The untruth can be recognized by the symmetry. If the truth is told, an asymmetrical picture emerges. If an attempt is made to tell you a lie, the body image is thrown unbalanced and becomes asymmetrical. You can recognize the lie or a half-truth by sloping shoulders, inflated nostrils and

eyes. The interviewer avoids your gaze and cannot look you in the eye.

Those who have a correct command of body language and thus give the spoken word even more power can manipulate. Inviting gestures are used, as well as facial expressions, microimpressions and body constitution.

Interpret body language and decipher different gestures Even when not a word comes from your lips, your body speaks. And when it is spoken, you always speak two different languages — once the words are spoken and meanwhile the body is talking. Body language can be a vicious betrayer if what you think and feel is not put into words. Your body brings out your real emotions and thoughts in posture, facial expressions and gestures.

You curl your lips, raise an eyebrow, inflate the nostrils or wrinkle your nose, and the person opposite you knows your true thoughts and emotions. A harmonious overall picture is only created if the body language matches the words spoken. Authenticity and credibility are the results. In communication, body language is of great importance, whether in conversations with colleagues, at job interviews, in negotiations or contact with customers. Even in small talk, attention is paid not only to the words said but also to the language of the body. To detect manipulation, it is important that you correctly interpret and decipher facial expressions and gestures. This will help you to quickly recognize what the person you are talking to wants to achieve with their words.

Body language is seen as a success factor since gestures have indescribable power. However, when it comes to body

language, the spirits are divided into two camps. One camp believes that the hype about facial expressions and gestures is greatly exaggerated and the effect is often overestimated. Voices from the other camp, on the other hand, think that body language is an important factor for effect and individuality. They practice and train hard because in their opinion, their success is closely linked to convincing body language. Somewhere in between lies the truth about body language. In the same way, the statement “You cannot “not” communicate” by Paul Watzlawick is correct. Because gestures and posture speak for themselves, even when no words are spoken. There are so-called high-status gestures, which are also called power poses.

Not only do they have a great effect on other people, but they can also increase your self-esteem. The following gestures express a very high status and especially a lot of power:

An upright and still head position A powerful voice Elegant and slow movements Open, uninhibited smile Smooth movements

Various gestures are used in the game of recognition and status. If these are used in a controlled manner, it is much easier to win over other people for yourself. However, body language has two very different sides. One side is even very dangerous. The hidden signals that are sent out with posture,

facial expressions, arms and hands are aimed at manipulating you and winning you over for your cause. People who can manipulate correctly do not need words to make you feel bad and to influence your thoughts. Be aware that body language is manipulative. In this way you will encounter obvious signals, but also those that are much more subtle. They have a hidden influence on your thoughts and perception. You have no control over this influence. Always remember that you are influenced by everything you perceive. Because the brain not only records the words you say but also the gestures and facial expressions. If a stimulus is strong enough to upset the balance of ions in the cell membranes, a very special reaction occurs. This refers to the biochemical process that processes sensory impressions. As soon as a reaction is triggered in a cell by a stimulus, a hidden influence is established. If the stimulus did not exist, there would be no manipulation.

Not only are you being manipulated by body language, but you are also manipulating yourself. For example, other people can read the current mood from your posture. The signals that you send out trigger stimuli in other people. You, for example, use these stimuli to get the most out of them. Body language can therefore manipulate. However, it cannot be used to elicit a particular reaction that does not correspond to your interests, values or innermost desires. That is why manipulation through body language alone is not so effective because inner values have greater power.

Manipulation through body language only works if there is already an inner inclination in this direction. This is especially true for advertising. For example, you can watch an advertisement for beer for hours without immediately feeling the desire for a beer. But if you watch an advertisement from Zalando or About You, there is no stopping you.

Always remember that body language is largely unconscious. Or have you ever thought about your posture, the movements of your hands and arms, or your current facial expression? This gives other people a deep insight and allows them to read your thoughts and emotions unfiltered. If you want to prevent another person from manipulating you, you should learn to become aware of body language and use it in a way that you can benefit from it.

This makes it difficult for a manipulator to force you into the role of a victim. By now you have learned so much about how to protect yourself from manipulation by saying things. Now it’s just a matter of using body language correctly. The following tips will help you do this:

1. Get to the same level as you are opposite This is meant literally. This is meant because it enables you to compensate for differences in height and ensures that what is said is perceived correctly and is no longer twisted. As soon as you are at eye level with the other person, the threatening, superior effect disappears. If someone tries to manipulate you, starts rumors about you and you want to confront this person, you

should not look up or down. Because you will weaken your position.

2. A true multi-talent of body language is the smile. And the best thing about it: you can use it consciously and purposefully. This way you radiate self-confidence, inner strength and self-assurance.

3 Just like facial expressions, gestures and other aspects, body language also requires a certain distance, which should be respected. In plain language this means: Do not let anyone get too close to you and keep the distance to the other person.

4. Are you aware of your body language? To use body language perfectly, you need to understand its effect on others. That is why you should find out what signals are sent through your body language. Those who feel small and have little selfconfidence express this through body language. Manipulators who are looking for a new victim will find you immediately.

The interpretation of body language There are quite a few people who have a perfect command of power poses and gestures of power. Politicians, superiors, company bosses and all those who want to convince other people of something. Often these people owe their popularity and the position they hold to this ability. Nevertheless, body language cannot always be deciphered clearly and correctly. Sometimes it is a premonition or a strange feeling in the pit of the stomach that leads to the assumption that something is wrong. It is noticeable that the words said to express something quite different from body language. Harmony is missing. Even the smallest nuances are registered by the subconscious.

Never look at body language separately, without the words that have been said. This will tear facial expressions and gestures out of context. But by training your sensors and expanding your mental radar, you can localize negative and positive signals. With the acquired knowledge you will be able to react appropriately.

The following nonverbal messages should be remembered. You are guaranteed to notice them in many people who have a perfect command of body language:

positive

negative

The person stands or sits with you and physically moves to your level.

When you sit, the person stops to demonstrate hierarchy and power.

Eye contact is maintained There is hardly any eye and thus interest is contact, there is blinking symbolized. and the lips are formed into a narrow line. Instead of stopping in front of the room, you enter it without hesitation. A symbol of trust.

During the conversation the arms are crossed or the hands are supported on the hips. A sign of skepticism.

Quiet, non-extending movements. The hands

Hands are hidden under the table or in the trouser pocket, fingers are crossed or hands are clenched into fists. The gestures show nervousness and are asymmetrical. This is an expression of mistrust.

are open and possibly the palms of the hands are visible. This shows confidence.

Rubbing hands satisfaction.

means

Impatience and annoyance are expressed when fingers are damaged by objects.

Oblique head posture in conversation testifies to satisfaction

Scratching your head or nose is a sign of doubt

Adaptation of body language and gestures equals sympathy

Spreading out documents means demarcation

Loose stand and lean over symbolizes familiarity

looks over your shoulder turn away and achieves a distance

The person stays close to you and thus symbolizes affection.

It is not introduced and hardly spoken, this is a sign of dislike

Power poses — for self-confidence and stress reduction Everyone knows these poses, which radiate power, strength and energy. A good example is politicians who give a speech in the Bundestag or the acting US President Donald Trump. But what is behind this form of body language?

That’s what Amy Cuddy from Harvard Business School wanted to know. She discovered that special gestures have an enormous effect when used correctly. Power poses make people seem more reliable, energetic and above all more convincing. In her experiments, which Amy Cuddy carried out together with Andy J. Yap and Dana R. Carny from Columbia University, two groups were formed from 42 women and men. Group one had the task to take powerful poses for two minutes, demonstrating a high status. For this purpose, the feet were placed on the table and the arms were crossed behind the head or leaned casually and the hands were supported loosely. The second group took up poses that express the opposite. So, the participants sat down on a chair, put their arms close together and put their hands in their laps. In a standing pose, arms and legs were crossed.

The researchers took blood samples from the participants before the experiment to compare testosterone and cortisol levels before and after the experiment. The result was as follows: The Power Poser had on average 25 percent lower

cortisol levels and 19 percent higher testosterone levels. In the second group, the cortisol level was 17 percent and the testosterone level had decreased by 10 percent. Subsequent tests showed that the Power Pose group was more confident and willing to take risks.

Important: Power poses should not be used to an excessive degree. Because the line between an arrogant effect and supporting the reduction of stress is very thin. But those who manage to perform forcefully in certain situations have good chances of making progress in many areas.

The eyes - a deep insight into the soul Not only facial expressions and gestures but also the eyes are treacherous. The human iris is like a fingerprint by which a person can be identified. International airports like Frankfurt am Main, for example, have eye scanners for employees working in high-security areas. Each person’s iris and iris are designed differently and, just like a fingerprint, have a very unique pattern. There are furrows, spots, and dots that are different for every person and therefore unmistakable. Even in genetic twins there is no match.

Quote: “The eyes are the reflection of the soul.”

Said Hildegard von Bingen already in the 12th century. They show other people sadness, fear, joy and happiness. Have you ever noticed that the first impression you get about another person is based on their face? Based on the shape of the face, people assess the trustworthiness of another person. Even scientific studies have shown this. So, men with a wide face are more likely to be distrusted than men with a narrow face. Also, the color of the eyes plays an important role in assessing character. For example, Karel Kleisner of Prague Charles University found that men with blue eyes seem less trustworthy than those with brown eyes.

It is therefore not surprising that since time immemorial attempts have been made to read another person’s intentions and thoughts in their eyes. But what do the eyes reveal? If you pay attention to this, you will notice that you automatically look into the other person’s eyes when you talk to them because they provide information about feelings. They reflect fear, joy, and anger, which you can read in them. No matter what the body language expresses. Eyes always betray people. This is because the eye muscles inside are scattered by the autonomic nervous system, which cannot be consciously controlled. The main culprit that betrays you, is the pupil through which light enters the interior of the eye. It changes depending on the light conditions. It narrows in bright light and widens at dusk. The iris muscles control this change. In addition to different light conditions, the iris muscle also reacts to emotional factors. If the brain transmits that more attention is needed because you are perhaps afraid, the pupil dilates. This allows more light to enter the eye and the environment can be perceived better. You send out messages with your eyes and therefore they are also a part of body language. Eyes express the following:

I’m scared — pupils extremely dilated I find you attractive — when flirting, dilated pupils show that all attention is yours It disgusts me — the pupils’ contract I have anger in my stomach — a decisive factor is the line of vision. In addition to the direct evil

gaze, the eyebrows are also drawn together concurrently. I am not telling the truth — there are criminological methods to find out from eye movement whether the truth is told or lied. This is based on the assumption that people who make up a story have their eyes in a different place than people who remember important facts. However, this method is controversial. I am sick — doctors use the pupillary reflex to check the functionality of the brain. An uneven response can indicate a serious illness such as a brain tumor.

Dilated pupils can also be an indication that the person has used drugs. This effect occurs with hallucinogens or cannabis, for example:

Eyes reveal a lot and in combination with body language and words said, you can find out what the person is up to. You can tell if the person is well-disposed towards you or just wants to manipulate you.

Posture — the reflection of selfconfidence Just like body language, posture has a signal effect and can express great security and strong self-confidence, as well as anxiety and low self-confidence. You are certainly also familiar with the admonitions of your grandmother, who repeatedly pointed out that you should keep straight, while pulling in your stomach and sticking out your chest. Posture says an immense amount about a person and it can be seen from a distance.

With the right posture, for example, you show willpower, selfconfidence, and self-assurance. People who are out to manipulate you also register this. Manipulators who want to influence you with Gaslighting or Disrupt then reframe will immediately give you the feeling that they are going to be chomping at the bit. Therefore, you must pay attention to your posture and send the right signals.

The interpretation of posture Sportsmen and women who are about to face a decisive competition have a powerful, energetic posture because they generate a special body tension. This is achieved by a straight back. To achieve this, the shoulders are taken to the back, the chest curves outwards and the stomach is slightly pulled in. This posture can be seen very well in dancers, runners, archers and weightlifters. Athletes know their bodies, know where the different muscles are located and can tense special muscle groups to achieve the desired effect.

If you want to do something for your posture, you should do muscle building. The resulting upright posture will automatically make you more attractive and meanwhile increase your chances in many areas, as you will be able to give a convincing self-demonstration. Have you ever stood in front of the mirror and taken a closer look at your posture? What do you see? A person with lowered gaze and drooping shoulders? Or an upright personality that radiates strength and is full of energy? Do you radiate dynamism and self-confidence or rather fear, dissatisfaction, sorrow and little self-confidence? You are the perfect victim for manipulators, with whom they can easily influence you mentally for their purposes.

Be aware that you will always be watched in every situation, whether at work or in your private life. It is therefore important that you are perceived correctly. And yes, the right perception of other people is hard work because you have to bring about change in many places at the same time. But first and foremost it is about gaining more self-confidence, selfassurance and inner strength to go through life with confidence. You can work on your posture if you know how to present yourself best. A raised head and an open look radiate competence and a high status. Observe the people around you. You will notice how different their posture, body language and expressions are. What do they do differently from you? Feel free to make comparisons with strong personalities and successful people and try to recognize yourself as objectively as possible.

For once, pay close attention to your way of walking. Do you lift your feet when walking or shuffle? Such a gait seems careless and has nothing in common with nonchalance. If you can’t get your feet off the ground, you will show little dynamism, sadness, exhaustion or even rebellion because conventions are not observed.

Do you always sit on the front edge of a chair? This signals that you are insecure, tense and ready to escape at any time. You send the same signals when you cannot sit still. Try to use the entire seat for yourself and sit still.

If you support your elbows and place your chin in your hands, you will give the impression of great tiredness and boredom. In conversation, such a posture is not very flattering.

Nervousness becomes apparent when the support leg is constantly changed. The impression is quickly given that other priorities have priority and that the conversation is not relevant.

Are you hiding your hands? Although this is more a part of body language, it is closely related to posture. Hands are often hidden because people are nervous, bored, irritated or insecure. Meanwhile, people change from one supporting leg to the other. It is better if the hands are used to underline the statement made to create more weight.

Did you recognize yourself? Then you should work on your posture. Because if you practice in a better posture, you will bring body and mind into harmony. Apart from the health effects that come from a better posture, you will at the same time ensure a better feeling of well-being and a new self-confidence. You do not have to train every day to build up muscles. It is often enough to do small things to give others a strengthened self-confidence. By adopting an

upright posture with taut shoulders and straight back, you show inner strength. You will fall out of the prey scheme of manipulators because they know exactly that you will quickly get on their trail and turn the tables on them. With simple tricks you can improve your posture and radiate more selfconfidence.

Tips for posture and body language No matter whether you are sitting, walking or standing — always keep in mind the image you create with the posture you are currently adopting. If you notice that you are retracting your head and letting your shoulders droop, straighten your upper body, tighten your shoulders and lift your chin.

A mirror is a good tool that helps you to improve your posture. Every time you pass a mirror, look closely at what your posture is and adjust it. The same applies to the way you walk. With a slightly springy gait, you radiate vitality and zest for action. Through self-observation you can change your posture and become aware of your body language. Remember that stress has a great influence on your charisma. Body movements often occur unconsciously and allow an unfiltered view of the inner self. To discipline posture and body language, authenticity is most important. It does not work if you move to create a different image. It is not enough to change bad habits, such as sitting in a collapsed position and train yourself to sit up straight. All the signals you are sending out need to be coordinated. This includes body language such as facial expressions and gestures, posture and above all the voice. This holistic coordination only works if you are authentic. To play something to others that is not there at all is something that no one can create in the long run and the image created is framed by incredibility.

Your charisma always shows which feelings you are experiencing at the moment. Body language and posture show whether you are happy, unhappy, anxious, angry or selfconfident. However, it will not help you if you train yourself artificially. This “would like to” expression reflects little authenticity and persuasiveness. Therefore, it is better to find out where the problem lies. Once you have found it out, you can act and take countermeasures.

For example, if you notice that someone is trying to penetrate you to manipulate you, try to find out why you are the victim. Find out what purpose is behind the manipulation. What benefits does this person gain from it? Take remedial action or simply turn the tables. People who are successful and feel joy radiate this with their posture. If a conversation is imminent that you may be afraid of, create in your head the thought that you are guaranteed to be successful. You enter the conversation with this feeling. Confidence will support you in being successful. In this way you can also counter manipulation if you have recognized it. You do not want to be used by other people for your purposes and you have the confidence that you can defend yourself against it because you can correctly assess the respective body language and posture and apply it yourself.

Wear clothes in which you feel completely comfortable. Of course, there is a dress code in business that must be observed. But you always can create a feel-good character with small

details. Clothing can constrict and take away the air to breathe. This makes you feel uncomfortable and you lose sight of the important things.

Try to always think positively, even if it is hard in some situations. With a positive attitude you also create a positive image of yourself. You show self-confidence, self-assurance and inner strength and can stand up to all adversities. Only those who look for possible mistakes and conjure up difficulties will magically attract them.

The interaction of different factors for your presentation Many components make up an expressive personality. Therefore, it is not enough to bring about change in just one place. The total package includes building self-confidence, inner strength, self-esteem, self-esteem, self-esteem and acceptance of oneself. But most of all, it is self-knowledge that will help you find out what you are missing. It is often only small things that you need to change to make a big impact.

Ask yourself the question in which direction you want to go and find out how you can create change. If you lack faith in yourself and your abilities, keep in mind what you have achieved so far. There will always be people in your environment who want to belittle your successes and make you feel guilty. Have you ever thought that these people might be driven by envy and resentment? Go to Case Study and find out what these people have achieved and make a direct comparison. With the manipulation attempts people only want to achieve emotional dependence. Because almost every person is always looking for recognition from the outside.

But there are also those people who are not only out to get compliments. They have the inner conviction and selfconfidence that their decisions are right. They enjoy life and are not afraid of any challenge. They hardly know fear because

they have the inner strength to admit mistakes and not to bury their heads in the sand. They are looking for new ways and solutions to solve problems. With their self-confidence they have the certainty that there is a solution for every problem, even if it cannot always be found directly. In the case of manipulation attempts, they look closely at where they are supposed to lead. Emotional dependence is avoided in the first place because they know ways and means to use manipulation for their benefit. The focus is not only on achieving their goals. Through high social competence, an attempt is made to use manipulation positively. They use body language and posture to give the words spoken a high weight. Listen carefully to a gifted speaker and pay attention to the choice of words and voice. These people know exactly which tonality must be struck to be convincing. They never speak monotonously, but vary in volume, modulation and speaking speed. Short and longer pauses are inserted so that the words spoken reach the listener and trigger certain thoughts. Even doubters and notorious naysayers can be convinced by the correct use of words, body language and voice.

How do you feel about expression and voice? If you speak softly and monotonously, you appear anxious and unconvincing. Not standing out or being in the spotlight is often the motto. But if you listen to yourself, you will soon come across things that you are excellent at and for which there is no need to hide.

Even if no one is immune to manipulation, people who have little confidence in themselves are much more often manipulated and led to emotional dependence. This is because manipulators exploit fear and low self-esteem for their purposes. By acquiring the different skills or by developing them further, you take the right step to work on your representation and to present a strong personality to your fellow human beings. Work on yourself. In addition to professional help, there is certainly a very good friend who can help you improve your posture and body language, build selfconfidence and gain self-confidence. This will give you a good basis for recognizing, reversing and positively using manipulations.

Use attempts at manipulation for your benefit Even if the manipulation has a negative connotation, there are also positive qualities that you can use perfectly for yourself. It is all about achieving your own goals and creating a more pleasant life without automatically misleading or treating other people badly. If you use the attempt of manipulation for yourself, you should use a moral model and project it onto the manipulative behavior in order not to show inhuman behavior. This happens, for example, with Gaslighting or Disrupt then reframe.

There is nothing wrong with using manipulation to get the sympathy of the new colleague or a pay rise. Church, politics, media or advertising, as well as family, friends, acquaintances and fellow men, all work with manipulation techniques. Some consciously, some unconsciously. You can only handle them confidently if you know the techniques and use them for your cause.

To be able to use manipulation attempts for your purposes, you must be prepared in principle to make other people into externally determined puppets. An important factor is how other people see this manipulation. This is about the famous “first impression” you make. Of course, there is always the possibility of a second or third chance. But if you handle the psychological effect of the first impression correctly, life is

much easier. This applies not only to a date but also to renting an apartment and having a job interview. It has been proven that the first impression has a decisive influence on how the other person sorts the experiences and impressions with you in their brain. Manipulation with the first impression is not immoral. Therefore, you can use it without hesitation. You should know, however, that you do not have 0.3 to 0.7 seconds to convince your conversation partner. It is not so much the spoken word that counts, but rather body language, posture, gait, eyes, the position of the feet and the handshake.

Do these things all fit together and do they form a symmetrical picture? They have influenced the other person’s way of thinking and thus won the game 1-0. Ever heard of the halo effect? The halo effect is a measurable cognitive distortion In this process, conclusions about unknown characteristics are drawn from already known characteristics of a person. The conclusions are influenced by the totality of the processes that exist in connection with perception and recognition. In studies, it has been observed that the same mechanisms are used as when getting to know a new person. The first character traits have such radiance and are so dominant that all further information about the person is perceived and classified on the same level. The halo effect is extremely manipulative if you talk about a person you do not know in advance. In this way you influence the perception of other people.

If you notice that other people have been manipulated in this direction, use this to your advantage and consider which characteristic makes the most sense in this context to present yourself uniquely. If you can read people, you will quickly recognize if you are dealing with a manipulator. You can recognize how this person ticks if you know the manipulation techniques described. It is important to observe and recognize signs. With empathy or empathy you can put yourself in the other person’s shoes and find out his strengths and weaknesses. People are divided into rational and emotional types and are simultaneously a product of their socialization. If a rational thinking person tries to manipulate you, you will not get any further with your emotions. Pursue a rational approach to use the manipulation attempt for your purposes. In this way you give the person the feeling that the newly chosen path originates from his ideas and conceptions. Design this turnaround carefully to gain respect and sympathy that will be shown to you.

If the person you are talking to is more of an emotional person who makes decisions based on gut feeling, you have an easy time using manipulation. You just have to find out which feelings need to be awakened. For example, showing helplessness has a great effect on people with helper syndrome. Just like yourself, other people are shaped by their social environment. To use manipulation for your purposes, you need to learn many things about the other person. These include, for example, guilt complexes, fear of failure and fear of loss.

The more you know about them, the better you can get the other person to move in your desired direction. By holding a mirror in front of the person you are talking to, you simply turn the tables. This method originates from neurolinguistic programming. People like it when you get the impression that there are similarities between them and the other person. This makes the person more open to the demands you intend to make.

For example, adopt the same posture and use the same facial expressions and gestures, or display a specific emotional attitude, such as cheerfulness or enthusiasm. In this way you use the same methods of manipulation and have a good chance of using the situation for your goals.

Manipulation and the attempts to influence are not for private use but can also be used professionally. It is important that as soon as you feel manipulation from another person, you take specific countermeasures and use the manipulation techniques for your purposes.

Manipulate situations and work successfully with them There are different patterns of behavior that you can use for your goal to influence others and thus come closer to achieving your goal. These strategies are easy to learn and help you to counteract manipulation, turn the tables and use them for your purposes.

1 If a colleague is angry with you, tries to start an argument and wants to influence you into believing that you are responsible for something he has screwed up, just stand next to him and not in front of him. With this gesture, you no longer appear to be a threat or opponent. Your colleague will calm down faster. That way, you won’t get the anger directly from him.

2. If you need something from a colleague, start the sentence with the words, “I need help.” This constellation of words increases the chances of getting the help you need. Nobody likes the bad feeling when the request for help is turned down. (“Benjamin Franklin Effect”)

3. If the colleague says no, ask him to do something disproportionate and postpone the actual request for help Since no one wants to be seen as a monster, it is much more likely that they will say yes.

4. If you want someone’s approval, nod, while you speak This gesture, will most likely cause the person you are talking to to to also nod and thus subconsciously give their consent.

5. Listen carefully to what the other person says and formulate what you say in your words. This underlines that you have listened carefully. On the other hand, you can influence the outcome of the conversation with the right choice of words and body language.

6. If you are not liked by someone, ask that person for a teensy-weensy favor This person will not refuse you. The action is justified by the fact that the person likes you better afterward. This foot-in-door phenomenon paves the way for you to ensure that the person will not turn down a second or third favor.

7. People are narcissistically inclined and love to be addressed by name Use this to your advantage to manipulate the person you are talking to.

8. Pay attention to your gestures and use them wisely and thoughtfully If your conversation partner is a good manipulator, he can quickly interpret facial expressions and gestures. In combination with the right words, body language and posture are much more important and result in a good tool

that you can use in salary negotiations at work as well as in your private life.

9. Always try to keep eye contact with the person you are talking to. In this way you demonstrate self-confidence and quickly catch the other person trying to manipulate you. Eyes are the mirror image of the soul. They show whether the person you are talking to is telling you a lie. Your recognition shows him that you know exactly that he wants to take you in another direction.

10. If your interviewer answers your question, but you feel that he or she is holding something back, wait until he or she has given the complete answer Make eye contact without saying a word. With this type of conversation tactic, you influence the interviewer and will probably get the full answer.

11. Always give your fellow men and work colleagues the opportunity to choose. This gives you the feeling that you are controlling the situation. The manipulation that comes with this will certainly bring you closer to your goal.

12. Shake hands with the person you are talking to, whether you are the boss or a colleague. A warm handshake conveys sympathy and is a good way of influencing another person’s way of thinking about you.

How you manipulate people to achieve your goal Steve Jobs, the founder of both Pixar and Apple, has always chosen different, unique ways to achieve his goals. They were based on his reality and sometimes on a distorted view of the world to convince people that there is only his view. As a result, he has been outstandingly successful in developing the companies and bringing them far to the top of the rankings. To this end, he used manipulative tactics which he deliberately used to convince the most powerful CEOs worldwide.

Steve Jobs was a genius of manipulation. He presented his ideas with dedication, he was always brutally honest, worked hard, was never too good for seduction and flattery, said that the good ideas came from others, made decisions or changed his mind and stood behind them, solved problems immediately and not later, met problematic people in a straight line or used the path of the least resistance, forged the iron while it is hot, used his influence and allowed nothing but perfection. Martin Luther King possessed similar talents, who set a lot in motion with his speech against discrimination and slavery. Other personalities who stood up for a good cause and were followed by people are Nelson Mandela and Mother Theresa. Perhaps you remember the Bhagwan movement in the 1980s, which many people joined. Some referred to Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh as the Savior and others as the Catcher of Men. The Indian preached abstinence and life of decadence. He was a

great manipulator and managed to generate enthusiasm with his speeches. For every seeker he had the right answer in store. His trademark was targeted manipulation, which had a great effect. The Sannyasin disciples built up a true economic empire that is still active today, even though Bhagwan has not been alive for a long time. No matter where you look, manipulation, in one direction or another, works wonderfully.

The many different characteristics of the different personalities could be regarded as trivialities. But taken together, they form a unique picture, which is why Apple, for example, has achieved cult status. At Steve Jobs it has taken on indescribable dimensions, but you can also use it for your environment, job, social contacts, partnership and family. Manipulation is not always only negative as long as you do not use it to make other people completely your puppet. Through manipulation, you can achieve a happier, more contented attitude to life if you are convincing and stand behind your wishes, dreams, changes and ideas. If you want to influence a person, show that you respect this person and that manipulation is necessary to continue to pursue common goals. Feel that you are being manipulated, question the manipulation. Because this way you will recognize the view and goals that the other person is pursuing. If the person is important to you, you will accept your influence if it is consistent with your ideas. The big goal in life is that everyone is happy and satisfied with themselves and in the community. By influencing another person, you will come closer to this goal.

No more being the puppet of other people To protect yourself from negative manipulation, in which your emotions are influenced and great doubts about your perception are spread, only working on yourself to gain more self-esteem and strengthen your self-confidence helps. This includes breaking out of your shadowy existence and finally stepping into the light. To achieve this, you need to have confidence in yourself and your wishes and goals. People are subject to manipulation in so many areas, which is simply allowed. Make yourself aware of these things. Politicians who open their mouths, advertising and even family and friends try to influence you. It is important that you recognize whether the manipulation is good for your cause or whether you lose your self-determination and your way of thinking as a result.

Every person is an individual and should be seen as an individual. However, there are these manipulators who manage to completely unsettle you and cleverly put your perception in the wrong light.

It is usually those people who are most trusted. These experiences are very painful and can even lead to psychological damage. But with the realization that you are under a negative influence, you can finally begin to escape the Marionette existence. Stand up to these people and show that you have seen through them and no longer want to play by

their rules. Make your own rules and show with your posture, body language and voice who you are. You have the abilities that you only need to reactivate.

Max Krone Volume 2 (Manipulation & body language)

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