Introduction To the FIRO-B Instrument

Table of contents :
Interpretations

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INTRODUCTION TO

®

the FIRO-B I N

S :T R U

M E

N

T

INTRODUCTION TO

the FIRO-B IN

S

T

R U M E

NT

Judith A. Waterman and Jenny Rogers

Cpp

ASIA PACIFIC

CPP Asia Paci c Pty Ltd, a wholly owned subsidiary of CPP, Inc. PO Box 810, Parkville, Vic 3052, AUST Tel +61 3 9342 1300

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Fax +61 3 9349 2155 Web www.cppasiapaci c.com

CONTENTS

PART

1

INTRODUCTION

1

What Is the FIRO-B° Instrument?

1

Aims of the FIRO-B° Instrument

1

What the FIRO-B° Instrument Measures

2

PART 2

INTERPRETING THE SCORES ON3 YOUR FIRO-B° MATRIX The Total Need Score

3

Total Expressed and Total Wanted Scores

4

Sum Scores for Inclusion, Control, and Affection

5

The Six Basic Scores

6

Interaction Among Your Scores

7

Comments About Your Results

8

Responding to Your Results

8

PART 3

BRIEF

DESCRIPTIONS FOR

COMBINATIONS

9

OF EXPRESSED

AND WANTED SCORES General Comments

9

INCLUSION Low Expressed (0-2) and Low Wanted (0-2)

10

Low Expresed (0-2) and Medium Wanted (3-6)

11

Low Expressed (0-2) and High Wanted (7-9)

12

Medium Expressed (3-6) and Low Wanted (0-2)

13

Medium Expressed (3-6) and Medium Wanted (3-6)

14

Medium Expressed (3-6) and High Wanted (7-9)

15

High Expressed (7-9) and Low Wanted (0-2)

16

High Expressed (7-9) and Medium Wanted (3-6)

17

High Expressed (7-9) and High Wanted (7-9)

18

CONTROL Low Expressed (0-2) and Low Wanted (0-2)

19

Low Expressed (0-2) and Medium Wanted (3-6)

20

Low Expressed (0-2) and High Wanted (7-9)

21

Medium Expressed (3-6) and Low Wanted (0--2)

22

Medium Expressed (3-6) and Medium Wanted (3-6)

23

Medium Expressed (3-6) and High Wanted (7-9)

24

High Expressed (7-9) and Low Wanted (0-2)

25

High Expressed (7-9) and Medium Wanted (3-6)

26

High Expresed (7-9) and High Wanted (7-9)

27

AFFECTION

iv

Low Expressed (0-2) and Low Wanted (0-2)

28

Low Expressed (0-2) and Medium Wanted (3-6)

29

Low Expressed (0-2) and High Wanted (7-9)

30

Medium Expressed (3-6) and Low Wanted (0--2)

31

Medium Expressed (3-6) and Medium Wanted (3-6)

32

Medium Expressed (3-6) and High Wanted (7-9)

33

High Expressed (7-9) and Low Wanted (0-2)

34

High Expressed (7-9) and Medium Wanted (3-6)

35

High Expressed (7-9) and High Wanted (7-9)

36

1

INTRODUCTION

WHAT IS THE FIRO-B°

AIMS OF THE FIRO-B°

INSTRUMENT?

INSTRUMENT

The FIRO-B° (Fundamental Interpersonal Relations

How and why con ict develops between well-meaning

Will Schutz, Ph.D., developed the FIRO-B instrument on the theory that beyond our survival needs-food, shelter, and warmth–we each have unique interpersonal needs that strongly motivate us. These needs relate to areas he called Inclusion, Control, and Affection, which will be de ned in the next section. Just as with our biological needs, we become uncomfortable and anxious if our own unique "set point," or set of psychic needs, is not being met. The FIR0-B instrument offers you a way of identify-

people

ing the set of interpersonal needs that is most comfortable

Orientation-BebaviorM)

instrument is a powerful person-

ality assessment that measures how you typically behave with other people and how you expect them to act toward you. Its interpretation can dramatically increase your understanding of behavior in areas such as: How you come across to othersand why this may not be the way you see yourself

How to understand your own needs as you interact

with others How to manage your own needs in most interpersonal interactions

The FIRO-B instrument, rst developed in the late 1950s, is now one of the most widely used tools for helping people better understand themselves and how they can

work more effectively with others. With a wealth of continuing research to validate its results, the value of the FIRO-B instrument is increasingly acknowledged by professionals and clients alike in areas such as these:

•

•

Personal development seminars

for you. Since each person's set point is unique, there are

no right or wrong answers to the questions asked.

According to modern psychological theory, your present environment, repeated experiences, and innate personality all combine to reinforce the way you behave. The FIRO-B instrument expands on this theory by maintain-

ing that you are not necessarily bound by your typical behaviors and can choose how you respond to a situation,

even a challenging one. Being aware of your natural tendencies allows you to choose whether a particular behavior is (or isn't) appropriate at a speci c time. Therefore,

FIRO-B results may change when you form new behavior

habits or in response to what is currently happening in

your life. The FIRO-B results can be used to do the following:

Communication workshops

Individual and couple counseling

Management development

•

Show current patterns of interpersonal behavior and expectations

•

Raise questions about how satis ed or dissatis ed you

•

Career development

are with these patterns

•

Team building and development

Suggest alternative ways of behaving to increase your

effectiveness if you are not satis ed with your current patterns

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PART

WHAT THE FIRO-B° INSTRUMENT MEASURES The FIRO-B instrument identi es three areas of interper-

you. Affection is about the need to establish comfortable

sonal need.

one-to-one relationships (whereas Inclusion measures your needs for interacting with groups). These are the kinds of

INCLUSI0N

questions it raises: Do you behave in ways that show your closeness to others, or do you keep your distance? Do you want people to show you warmth, or do you prefer more impersonal relationships? Do you disclose your feelings to other people? Do you like others to disclose their feelings to you? Are you comfortable in both roles? The area of Affection does not relate to how much prominence, participation, or dominance you prefer. Wordsassociated with Affection: emotional warmth, personal closeness, rapport, fondness, love, depth, likeability, friendship, con dante, intimacy, personal interest, encour-

This need indicates how much you generally include other

people in your life and how much attention, contact, and recognition you want from others. Inclusion is about you in relation to groups- small or large. These are the kinds of questions it raises: Do you like to include others in what you

do, or do you prefer to leave people to their own devices? Do you give people a lot of attention by asking them to take part in your activities? Do you want to belong? How much do you want to be "in" or "out"? Do you prefer togetherness or solitude? Do you like for people to pay attention to you, or do you prefer to remain more detached? Do you need a little or a lot of recognition? The area of Inclusion is

different from emotional closeness or dominance. Wordsassociated with Inclusion: participation, joining, inviting, interaction, association, extraversion, introversion, membership, togetherness, identity, individuality, popularity, meeting people, involving others, belonging, being accepted, being rejected, status, prestige, fame, prominence,

acknowledgment, signi cance, insigni cance, exclusion, lonelines, isolation, outsider, privacy, detachment

CONTROL This need indicates how much in uence and responsibility you want and how much you want others to lead and in uence you. Control is about both your one-to-one relationships and your behavior as part of a group. These are the kinds of questions it raises: How much do you want to have authority or power, to be in charge, or to take the lead? How much responsibility do you tend to take? How much in uence do you want to have over others, and how much do you want them to in uence you? Do you prefer being a follower or being a leader, or do you prefer a combination

of both roles? How do you react to being given orders? How much structure do you like in situations? The area of Control is different from how much participation, prominence, or emotional closeness you want. Words associated with Control: Dominance, in uence, persuasion, coercion, leadership, making decisions, taking charge, power, authority, winner, ruler, competence, achievement, independence, rebellion, follower, submission, line of command, anarchy, superiority, bully, demanding, dependency, taking directions

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The FIRO-B instrument measures two dimensions for each need.

EXPRESSED This dimension indicates how much you prefer to initiate the behavior. It is about what you actually do and may be easily observed by others. •

Expressed Inclusion: How often do you act in ways that encourage your participation in situations?

Expresed Control: How often do you act in ways that help you direct or in uence situations? Expressed Affection: How often do you act in ways that encourage warmth and closeness in relationships?

WANTED This dimension indicates how much you prefer others to initiate the behavior toward you. It is about what you really want from others--whether or not you show it openly.

Wanted Inclusion: How much do you want to be part of others' activities?

Wanted Control: How much leadership and in uence do you want others to assume? Wanted Affection: How much warmth and closeness do

you want from others?

This need indicates how close and warm you are with others and how close and warm you want others to be with

contribute to the richness of the FIRO-B instrument's insights.

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tance, coolness, hostility, rejection, being impersonal

The numerous resulting combinations of Expressed Inclusion, Wanted Inclusion, Expressed Control, Wanted Control, Expressed Affection, and Wanted Affection scores

AFFECTION

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agement, support, openness, con ding, sharing feelings, care, concern, consideration, reassurance, dislike, emotional dis-

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PART 2

INTERPRETING THE SCORES ON YOUR FIRO-B° MATRIX To make interpretation of your FIRO-B results easier, this booklet offers interpretations in wbich scores have been divided into the categories of low, medium, and high. No value judgments are implied by any of theselabels.

D THE T0TAL

DO

NEED SCORE

The Total Need score simply summarizes how strong your need is for general interpersonal contact and interaction. TABLE 1:

The scoring range is 0-54. Table 1 can help you interpret

this score in more detail.

INTERPRETING

YOUR TOTAL NEED SCORE

A TOTAL NEED

IS REGARDED

SCORE OF

AS

AND MAY MEAN THAT

0-15

Low

Interaction with others in all areas of Inclusion, Control, and Affection is not likely to be a

strongly felt need. You may prefer to concentrate on more impersonal and objective concerns than on relationships with people. Your personal style may be rather cool, and you may have a strong preference for your Own company, for making decisions independently,

and for being close to oly a few people you have known for a long time.

16-26

Medium-Low

Interaction with others in all areas of Inclusion, Control, and Affection may appeal to you on a selective basis. You are likely to be choosy about how, when, and where you

associate with

othersand

to be cautious about how you use or share authority. Some

close relationships are probably important to you, but there are likely to be times when

you prefer to concentrate on the more impersonal demands of the task instead of the

more personal ones.

27-38

Medium-High

You generally

nd that interacting with other people in all areas of Inclusion, Control, and

Affection is a source of satisfaction and that your interpersonal relationships help you

attain the goals you want to reach. You may consult others without actualy handing over authority to them. You are likely to enjoy a fair amount of teamwork and to value forming

warm one-to-one relationships. You probably nd that people's company becomes overwhelming occasionally and that you then need to get away for some time alone.

39-54

High

You probably enjoy engaging frequently with others in all areas of Inclusion, Control, and

Affection. You are very likely to actively seek out, work on, and enjoy your interpersonal relationships. You tend to value very warm and friendly one-to-one relationships. You may prefer to share decision making and generally like involving others in what you do. Being

without other people's company may make you feel uncomfortable.

3

TOTAL EXPRESSED AND TOTAL WANTED SCORES Your Total Expressed score shows how much you usually

like to initiate action in relating to others, while your Total Wanted score shows how much you prefer that others take

your Total Wanted score can show how you generally satisfy your interpersonalneeds the blend you prefer in taking initiative or having others do so. The scoring range is

the initiative. Comparing your Total Expressed score to

0-27. See Tables 2 and 3 to help you interpret these scores.

TABLE 2: INTERPRETING YOUR TOTAL EXPRESSED AND TOTAL WANTED SCORES SCORES

ARE

OF

REGARDED AS

0-7

Low

AND MAY MEAN THAT

For Expressed: YouusSuallydo not initiate activities with others.

For Wanted: You usually do not want others to initiate activities.

8-19

Medium

For Expressed: Sometimes you initiate activities with others; sometimes you don't. For Wanted: Sometimes you want others to initiate activities with you; sometimes you don't.

20-27

For Expressed: You usually initiate activities with others.

High

For Wanted: You usually like for others to initiate activities with you.

TABLE 3: COMPARING YOUR TOTAL EXPRESSED AND TOTAL WANTED SCORES TOTAL EXPRESSED AND TOTAL WANTED SCORES IN THE FOLLOWING

MAY MEAN THAT

RELATIONSHIP

When your Total Expressed score is higher than your

You probably like taking the initiative more than having

Total Wanted score

others do so.

When your Total Wanted score is higher than your

You probably prefer that others take the initiative more than

Total Expressed score

doing so yourself.

When your Total Expressed score and your Total Wanted

You probably prefer to take the initiative part of the time, but at other

Score are equal

times you prefer that someone else does so. YoU may also adopt a wait-

and-see attitude toward others; e.g., What do they want? What seems

appropriate at the time? What do you feel like doing at the moment?

4

SUM SCORES FOR INCLUSION,

CONTR0L, AND AFFECTION The Sum scores show the relative strength of your needs in the areas of Inclusion, Control, and Affection. The scoring range is 0-18. Table 4 can help you interpret these scores.

most important interpersonal need for you, therefore predominating your behavior and having the greatest impact in your relationships. Similarly, the area that has the low-

It is usually meaningful to look at which of the three

est score may be either the one you try to avoid or the one

areas has the highest Sum score. That area may be the

TABLE 4: SCORES

ARE

OF

CONSIDERED

0-5

Low

and can be

important because you may tend to

avoid this area

that re ects situations from which you try to escape.

INTERPRETING YOUR SUM SCORE

AND MAY MEAN THAT For Inclusion: You generally have a low preference for being with others, no matter who initiates it. For Control: You usually prefer less-structured situations and have a laid-back attitude toward authority, generally preferring not to give or receive orders.

For Affection: You generally like to keep things impersonal and prefer more formal and

businesslike relationships.

6-12

Medium--and can

For Inclusion: You usualy prefer a balance between time alone and time with others, no

be moderately or

matter who initiates it.

sporadically important

For Control: You generally like a moderate amount of structure and clarity around

to you; or more impor-

authority in order to accomplish tasks.

tant concerning some

For Affection: You usually prefer a realistic amount of warmth and closeness in

people and less impor-

one-to-one relationships, no matter who initiates it.

tant concerning otherS

13-18

High-and can be important to you

because this area tends to be a priority for you

For Inclusion: You usualy have a high preference for being involved in social situations,

no matter who initiates it. For Control: You generally prefer a structured situation where there are clear lines of authority and responsibility in order to get things done.

For Affection: You generally like a lot of warmth and closeness in your one-t0-one

relationships.

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THE SIX BASIC SCORES The three interpersonal needs (Inclusion, Control, and Affection) combine with the two dimensions (Expressed and Wanted) to form the six-cell model shown in Table 5. The scoring is 09 for each of the six basicscores. Table 6 illustrates the groupings of the scores into low,

cates. Then look for your highest and lowest scores in

medium, and bigh and outlines their fundamental differences.

interpretations is re ected in Part 3 of this guide, which

Examining each score separately gives you important

gives brief descriptions for combinations of Expressed and Wanted scores.

information about yourself. Notice what each one indi-

TABLE 5: THE

these six boxes. These scores probably represent your most compelling interpersonal needs.

The way the scores combine also yields meaningful

insights into your personality. This aspect of the score

SIX-CELL

MODEL

-NEEDS-

e xpressed What you tend to do; how much you

initiate this behavior with others:

observable action

Wanted How much you tend to want others to initiate this behavior with you; how much you prefer to be the recipient

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6

Inclusion

Control

Affection

Being part of a group,

In uencing the situation,

Being close with

recognition

leading, responsibility

individuals, rapport

This is your

This is your

This is your

Expressed

Expressed

Expressed

Inclusion

Control

Affection

Score

SCore

Score

This is your

This is your

This is your

Wanted

Wanted

Wanted

Inclusion

Control

Affection

Score

score

Score

TABLE 6: GROUPING THE SIX BASIC SCORES SCORES

ARE IN

OF

THIS RANGE

0-2

Low

3-6

Medium

Your preference for this behavior is moderate.

7-9

High

You have a strong preference for this behavior.

AND MAY MEAN THAT Your preference for this behavior is very selective.

INTERACTION AMONG YOUR SCORES Your Inclusion, Control, and Affection scores interact and in uence one another. While there are many possible score

combinations, the following examples may help you understand this concept.

IF YO

HAVE

SCORES

IF YOU HAVE SCORES

High Expressed Inclusion (participating actively in the group and behaving in ways that draw attention to yourself)

•

INDIGATING

High Wanted Affection (need for a lot of warmth and

INDICATING

and •

High Wanted Inclusion (enjoying others' atention

caring in one-to-one relationships)

and wanting others to consider you a valued member)

and

and

Low Expressed Inclusion (reluctance to initiate contact with others)

Low Expressed Control (preferring not to assume authority or responsibility in the group)

... the result may be that you nd it dif cult to meet the individuals with whom you wish to form closer, deeper relationships.

IF YOU HAVE SCORES

INDICATING

and High Wanted Control (wanting others to assume primary leadership for the group) the result may be that others misinterpret your desire to be a prominent

part of a group as a desire to in uence

High Expressed Control (need to exert responsibility and in uence or to direct others)

and lead it.

and

These are only three examples of how a person's FIRO-B

Medium Expressed Affection (preferring to show a realistic amount of warmth and caring toward others)

scores can interact with one another. The professional

who administered your FIRO-B questionnaire should be able to explain the way your scores in uence one another.

... the result may be that others are more accepting of your direction because you show tact and understanding in your efforts to in uence them.

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COMMENTS ABOUT

RESPONDING TO

YOUR RESULTS

YOUR RESULTS

Like any other self-report questionnaire, your results on

Your FIR0-B results give you a snapshot of yourself though the lens of your interpersonal needs. Remember

the FIRO-B assessment can be affected by a number of

factors. These could include some of the following: Stress, mood at the time you took the questionnaire, or unusual personal circumstances Trying to answer as you would like to be rather than how you feel you truly are

Trying to answer as you think someone else might want you to, or in ways that might seem appropriate in different employment situations Trying to impress someone else with the results

•

that, in themselves, there are no good or bad FIRO-B proles. It is the way you respond to your basic needs and

manage the appropriateness of your behavior that makes your interpersonal behavior effective and satisfying for you. Also remember that while some pro les may seem more appropriate than others within a given job or work group, the FIRO-B instrument does not measure skills. The instrument is therefore most valuable in personal development, giving you a chance to review and change your behavior if you wish. When you examine your results, here are some useful things to consider:

Fear about what the results might say about you

Do these scores seem to represent an accurate picture

Not understanding the

of how you really are? Can you think of speci c examples of the behavior described?

questionsfor instance,

because of cultural factors or language dif culty Being irritated by the way some of the questions are

phrased or what might look like redundancy Other circumstances, such as having too little or too much time to complete the questionnaire, having a

low opinion of personality questionnaires in general, or not taking this one seriously In spite of these factors and their possible in uence, most people who take the FIRO-B assessment more than once report very similar results from one administration to the next, regardless of the time interval between administrations. The repeating-question format also makes it rel-

In what ways do these scores not represent important ways you behave? If you feel angry or defensive about a score, the reason may be that you believe it could be accurate but don't like what it seems to be saying about you. Alternatively, you may decide that the results are faulty.

Do your FIRO-B results highlight ways in which others see you that you wish to change? Or do you choose not to change your behavior? What can your results tell you about the way you act

in trying to ful ll your needs for being part of a group, for control, and for close relationships?

atively dif cult to fake results. However, current life events can cause your scores to change, as can purposely

It is also a good idea to compare your FIRO-B results

changing your behavior habits.

with data from other reputable questionnaires, such as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® (MBTI) and Strong Interest Inventory° instruments, and to look at common themes and areas of difference.

Although the FIRO-B assessment is usually an excel-

lent re ection of your interpersonal needs and actions, remember that it is neither an all-embracing personality indicator nor a measure of ability or intelligence. While it implicitly compares you with others, the FIRO-B assessment is based on the assumption that people have different needs and behaviors in relation to their interaction with others.

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Your insights from the FIRO-B assessment can be enriched by discussion with a knowledgeable and experienced practitioner, who should be able to bring your scores to life in a way that is beyond the scope of a short booklet like this.

PART 3

BRIEF DESCRIPTIONS FOR COMBINATIONS OF EXPRESSED AND WANTED SCORES

GENERAL COMMENTS The following descriptions aim to help you understand yourself better and to suggest ways that you might relate more effectively with others. They encourage you to examine both what you need in relationships and what you want to bring to them. This self-awareness can help you form more productive and satisfying associations and connections, not only in situations where you operate most easily and naturally, but also in those where you may feel less at ease.

Behavior that seems perfectly comfortable for you may strike others as unusual, and vice versa. These FIRO-B

interpretations encourage you to recognize such situations and, therefore, may help you increase your understanding and tolerance concerning others' behavior.

The interpretations that follow re ect combinations of Expressed and Wanted behavior scores for the areas of Inclusion, Control, and Affection. If a description that corresponds to one of your score categories does not seem to t you well, try reading interpretations for the categories that are close to yours to see if another interpretation might better re ect the way you see yourself.

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Re ects

• How much you generally include other people in

your life

SCORES

LOW EXPRESSED (0-2) LOW WANTED (0-2)

• How much contact, attention, and recognition you want from others

IN GENERAL

Keep looking for ways to nd some rejuvenating time

Your Inclusion results suggest that you do not enjoy fre-

alone-for instance, walking by yourself during your lunch break

quent or extended contact with others and may prefer smal, intimate groups to large ones. You probably try to avoid people who do not put you at ease. This does not

•

Compromise

when those closest to you need to

socialize more than you do--for example, going to

mean you are unable to associate with people; you are just

that big party once in a while or supporting the needs

very selective about who you include in your life. Other

of your loved ones by letting them know it's okay to

people may think of you as a bit of a loner, perhaps shy

go without you

or independent, self-contained, and isolated. The way you act lets others know how much interaction you want,

Reassure others that you are actually interested in being

so you are not likely to be bothered by more invitations

with them by inviting them to join you in activities or asking them about their work and personal lives

than you want.

AT WORK

AREAS OF

You may prefer to work in an environment where your privacy is protected and you do not have to mix too frequently with others. For instance, being able to shut the door and work without interruptions probably appeals

You may feel comfortable with your scores and have no wish to change anything in your behavior. On the other hand, your results can be used to understand common

to you. You may, however, want some exchange of ideas

with people who are in your

eld of work. Although

you are apt to need less attention and recognition than

most people, you want to be recognized fairly for your

POSSIBLE

CHALLENGE

FOR YOU

problems that might limit the effectiveness of your relationships or interfere with some of your other important needs. Check any items below that you wish to consider for further attention and action: •

Your preference for privacy may be misinterpreted as

contributions.

lack of interest in others or even arrogance.

AT YOUR

You may nd it hard to understand that other people

BEST

Operating at your best means not only honoring your own needs, but also altering your behavior when it is appropriate. Some of the examples below illustrate being true to the typical needs of someone in this score category.

Others illustrate ways to adjust behavior in order to oper-

ate optimally. Given your scores, you probably function best when you are able to do the following:

Limit your social relations either at work or in your personal life so that you are not exhausted by too much contact with others Tell other people directly but tactfully that to do your best work, or to be your best in a relationship, you need a great deal of privacy

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INGLUSION

may quite legitimately put more emphasis on group membership than you do. When you are singled out for attention, you may feel it is embarrassing and insincere, even though the other person's intention is perfectly genuine.

It is possible that your preference for low Inclusion represents a fear of being rejected by others and that your strategy is to reject them before they can

reject you. You may be missing opportunities to learn or contribute to a group-for instance, occasions where

you could make useful business contacts or learn new skills.

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Re ects• How much you generally include other people in

yourlife

SCORES

LOW EXPRESSED (0-2) MEDIUM WANTED (3-6)

IN

GENERAL

• How much contact, attention, and recognition you want from others

•

Remind those you are closest to that, even though you may not always show it, you appreciate being included

•

Take the initiative sometimes in asking others to join

Your Inclusion results suggest that you enjoy being included and acknowledged as part of a group, although you usually let others do the inviting. You probably enjoy

being with people and are realistic about the amount of

you in an activity, either at work or outside of work,

acceptance you seek. Yet the way you act is apt to give the impression that you care less about being included than

you really do. You may even come across as truly uninterested. Perhaps you gravitate toward people who tend

or to cohost events •

Volunteer to be part of a team effort now and then

•

Be with people who enjoy initiating activities

to initiate activities where you are automatically included.

You probably enjoy having others show that you are wanted and welcome and, perhaps at times, are sensitive

AREAS OF

to being left out.

You may feel comfortable with your scores and have no

AT WORK

wish to change anything in your behavior. On the other hand, your results can be used to understand common problems that might limit the effectiveness of your rela-

POSSIBLE

CHALLENGE

FOR YOU

You may prefer to work in an environment where being with people is taken for granted and where you do not have to make too much effort to be included for instance,

needs. Check any items below that you wish to consider

being expected to work in teams part of the time or work-

for further attention and action:

ing on projects that require you to interact with others. Although you may not actively seek opportunities to receive attention and recognition, it is probably very important that others give you due recognition for your contributions.

tionships or interfere with some of your other important

•

You may have «trained" others to think you don't care if you are included.

•

You may come across to people as rather isolated, shy,

or inhibited, even though you are generally pleased

to take part in group events.

AT YOUR BEST

Operating at your best means not only honoring your own needs, but also altering your behavior when it is appropriate. Some of the examples below illustrate being true to the typical needs of someone in this score category.

Others illustrate ways to adjust behavior in order to oper-

ate optimally. Given your scores, you probably function best when you are able to do the following: Find and join groups where you share common inter-

By playing it safe and not letting others know you want to join in, you may be missing out on group activities that you know you would enjoy. You may generally wait for others to do the inviting instead of making the

rst move to join a group.

You may nd it hard to overcome the feeling of rejection if, for some reason, you are not invited to join in or when you lose contact with a group.

ests and where your participation is taken for granted

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INCLUSION

• How much you generally include other people in

your life • How much contact, attention, and recognition you want from others

LOW EXPRESSED (0-2) HIGH WANTED (7-9)

IN

GENERAL

Your Inclusion results suggest that you strongly want to be included in group activities but usually wait for others

Join a group or participate in some activity where others share an interest of yours, since mutual interests can make it easier for you to show enthusiasm

to do the inviting. You may come across as independent,

for the group

private, unconcerned, or even completely uninterested,

•

while in reality you wish to be accepted and receive atten-

Establish a unique knowledge base or hobby so that

others seek you out for information

tion. Being wanted is probably more important than actu-

ally participating in the activity. You may be highly alert

Take a class or join a group that teaches you how to

for possible signs of rejection, perhaps even when they are

speak in public, run group meetings, or participate effectively in teams

not based in reality. Periods of privacy can be enjoyable

for you, but not for an extended time.

AT WORK You may enjoy working in an environment where contact and attention are given to you on a routine basis and

where you rarely have to work at making the rst move. You probably like being where the action is and, when you are included, can be an active participant in your group.

Receiving attention and recognition very likely stimulates your enthusiasm and job satisfaction.

AREAS

Operating at your best means not only honoring your own needs, but also altering your behavior when it is appropriate. Some of the examples below illustrate being true to the typical needs of someone in this score category.

CGHALLENGE FOR YOU

hand, your results can be used to understand common

needs. Check any items below that you wish to consider for further attention and action:

You may miss out on personal recognition either because you hope your work will speak for itself or because you only tell a few people about your accom-

plishments and hope they will pass the information on while giving you credit. •

You may be reluctant to show that you would like to be included in what is going on.

By failing to join social groups, you could be missing the opportunities you need for recognition and

ate optimally. Given your scores, you probably function best when you are able to do the following:

acceptance.

Look for environments that generally welcome mem-

Take the risk of making the rst move at times rather than waiting to be invited

POSSIBLE

problems that might limit the effectiveness of your relationships or interfere with some of your other important

Others illustrate ways to adjust behavior in order to oper-

bers and encourage their participation

OF

You may feel comfortable with your scores and have no wish to change anything in your bhavior. On the other

AT YOUR BEST

•

You may be oversensitive to what you perceive as being ignored.

Situations where highly developed social skills are of

paramount importance may be dif cult for you.

12

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Re ects

SCORES

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INCLUSION

Re ects • How much you generally include other people in

your life

SCORES

MEDIUMEXPRESSED (3-6) LOW WANTED (0-2)

• How much contact, attention, and recognition you want from others

IN GENERAL

Tell others in a friendly way that you need more soli-

Your Inclusion results suggest that you involve others in your activities and have a wide range of acquaintances.

tary time than it appears •

Therefore, people are not likely to see your very strong need for privacy. You are apt to have good social skills that

help you form the associations you want. Yet your outgoing ways may make others think you want to be included in situations more often than you really do. When you fail

Say no to invitations when you do not want to accept

them •

Involve yourself in independent activities and let others know how much you enjoy these individual efforts

Set aside speci c time for the special people in your

to follow through with your attention, they may become

life to make sure they aren't neglected

confused since they probably do not understand that you are far more selective than is evident.

AREAS OF

AT WORK

You may feel comfortable with your scores and have no

You may prefer to work in an environment that includes plenty of independent activities but that also lets you use

wish to change anything in your behavior. On the other hand, your results can be used to understand common problems that might limit the effectiveness of your rela-

your social skills energetically- -like contributing to a group followed by enough privacy after the sessions. You probably also enjoy working on a team that allows you to

have individual follow-through. Unless you think it will

It is possible that you give mixed messages by inviting people to join you in your activities while rarely accepting invitations yourself.

You may lead others to think they are part of your inner circle when actually you consider them to be only casual acquaintances.

BEST

Operating at your best means not only honoring your own needs, but also altering your behavior when it is appropriate. Some of the examples below illustrate being Others illustrate ways to adjust behavior in order to oper-

ate optimally. Given your scores, you probably function best when you are able to do the following: •

FOR YOU

You may not have enough private time.

ate bene t in doing so. To be happy in your work, you need to be recognized fairly for your contributions.

true to the typical needs of someone in this score category.

CHALLENGE

needs. Check any items below that you wish to consider for further attention and action:

by a business contact when you see no direct or immedi-

AT YOUR

POSSIBLE

tionships or interfere with some of your other important

be productive, you may not care to join others in businessrelated social activities-for instance, being taken to lunch

Others may think you are insincere or ckle in your

association with them. •

It is possible that you are using your well-developed social skills primarily to get what you want from others rather than because you are genuinely interested in them.

Have a job or personal life that allows you to be out-

going but that also lets you be selective about the associations you form

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INCLUSION

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Re ects • How much you generally include other people in

your life

SCORES

MEDIUMEXPRESSED (3-6) MEDIUM WANTED (3-6)

IN

• How much contact, attention, and recognition you want from others

GENERAL

Communicate to people that, depending on the circumstances, you may want differing amounts of inter-

Your Inclusion results suggest that you are generally at ease with people but prefer to divide your time between being alone and being with others. You tend to be very exible and accommodating both in the amount of time

people want to spend with you and in whether they or you initiate activities. Your needs for interaction may even be quite different from one group situation to another. Others are seldom likely to misinterpret how much inclu-

action Gain recognition

through a balance of group as well

as solitary activities

Say no to invitations without causing offense

AREAS

0F

POSSIBLE

CHALLENGE

FOR YOU

sion you want because the way you act is usually consis-

You may feel comfortable with your scores and have no

tent with what you want. What may be less obvious is how strongly you need a mix of both independent and

wish to change anything in your behavior. On the other

group time.

problems that might limit the effectiveness of your relationships or interfere with some of your other important

AT WORK

needs. Check any items below that you wish to consider

You probably enjoy working in environments that allow both independence and opportunities to participate in group activities. While you do not like rejection, you are apt to tolerate it more easily than most people.

for further attention and action:

hand, your results can be used to understand common

•

You may be unclear in your own mind about when you need private time and when you need to be part

of a group.

Therefore, you may thrive in jobs where initial acceptance

is not always assured. Attention and recognition very probably stimulate your enthusiasm and job satisfaction.

There may be times when you are unclear about con-

veying your preference for this mixture of private and

group time. AT YOUR

BEST

Operating at your best means not only honoring your own needs, but also altering your behavior when it is appropriate. Some of the examples below illustrate being true to the typical needs of someone in this score category.

Others illustrate ways to adjust behavior in order to oper-

You may have a circle of friends who do not under-

stand and support your need for privacy.

Others may misinterpret your social

exibility-for

example, they may view your choice to be less active in a group as indifference.

ate optimally. Given your scores, you probably function

You may have too many commitments and people in

best when you are able to do the following:

your life and not know how to choose amongthem.

Manage the balance of group and private time in

your life Convey to your closest circle that you need a mix-

ture of togetherness and private time, setting limits

ifnecessary

14

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INCLUSION

INCLUSION

Re ects

• How much you generally include other people in SCORES

MEDIUM EXPRESSED (3-6) HIGH WANTED (7-9)

IN

GENERAL

Your Inclusion results suggest that you very much like being included in group activities and feeling wanted. The way you act probably lets others know you enjoy being with people, but the intensity of your needs to be accepted and to belong is probably not so obvious. You are likely to enjoy initiating contact and inviting others to participate in activities but may wish for even more contact than you show. You probably like to be reassured that you are wanted and may be sensitive to possible signs of rejection (perhaps even when no reason exists). You are apt to enjoy

periods of privacy, but not for an extended time.

• How much contact, attention, and recognition you want from others

Establish a knowledge base that gives you expertise in the eyes of others and encourages people to seek

you out

Find opportunities to do public speaking, to perform, or to entertain Seek leadership positions, not necessarily for the purpose of having in uence or power, but to allow you exposure and prominence

Associate with friends and colleagues who encourage and support your participation in group life

AREAS OF

AT W0RK You may prefer to work in an environment where you can participate in group projects, take part in team activities, and be where the action is. You probably thrive in a highly

interactive

your life

situation where a strong group identity is

POSSIBLE

CHALLENGE

FOR YOU

You may feel comfortable with your scores and have no wish to change anything in your behavior. On the other hand, your results can be used to understand common

problems that might limit the effectiveness of your relationships or interfere with some of your other important

encouraged but not where working individually or independently is the prevailing atmosphere. You may enjoy

needs. Check any items below that you wish to consider for further attention and action:

being in a position where others look up to you. Atention and recognition are very apt to stimulate your enthusiasm and job satisfaction.

You may wait for others to make you feel welcome rather than take the initiative yourself.

AT YOUR

BEST

Operating at your best means not only honoring your own needs, but also altering your behavior when it is appropriate. Some of the examples below illustrate being

You may nd it dif cult to accept that when people leave you out, it is unlikely they mean to snub or insult you.

true to the typical needs of someone in this score category. Others illustrate ways to adjust behavior in order to oper-

It may be hard for you to understand that other people can quite legitimately put less importance on belonging to groups than you do.

ate optimally. Given your scores, you probably function best when you are able to do the following:

You may become overcommitted to group meetings and activities because you feel obligated.

Find situations, at work or in leisure activities, where

Fear of rejection may cause you to avoid going after the things you want the most.

being part of a group is accepted as a normal part

of life

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15

your life

SCORES

• How much contact, attention, and recognition you want from others

HIGH EXPRESSED (7-9) LOW WANTED (0-2)

IN GENERAL Your Inclusion results suggest that you come across as very

ate optimally. Given your scores, you probably function best when you are able to do the following:

outgoing and that you socialize with ease. Your easy inter-

Find enough independent time to feel at peace, yet be

action with others probably helps you gain the associa-

able to use your social skills often

tions you want. At the same time, you are very likely to have a deep underlying need for privacy. Although you

Tell others in a friendly way that you need much

may have a large number of casual acquaintances, you are

more solitary time than it appears

more apt to enjoy being with a small group of friends.

Understand that if your life seems too cluttered with

Because you are so outgoing, and because you are likely

people, you are probably behaving as if you are more

to enjoy using your ability to socialize, people may mistakenly think you want to be invited and included far

sociable than you really are

more often than you actually do. You probably prefer choosing who you want to be with and when, rather than

Utilize socially accepted ways of keeping others at a

depending on others to do the inviting. People may

your calls

distance-for instance, using voice mail to monitor

nd

it puzzling that you engage others in your activities so enthusiastically,yet frequently turn down their invitations. AT WORK You probably enjoy working in an environment that allows

you to bene t from your social skills but also permits fre-

quent or extended periods of solitude or independence. For instance, you may enjoy leading a group because it gives you a chance to use your ability to interact casily with

others while allowing you to maintain a fair amount of dif-

ferentiation from them. Others probably perceive you as

an enthusiastic team player with the ability to work comfortably in many kinds of groups. However, because you

Say no in order to avoid the exhaustion that comes

from too many people making claims on you

AREAS

FOR YOU

tionships or interfere with some of your other important needs. Check any items below that you wish to consider

for further attention and action: •

It may be hard for you to limit the social demands others make on you without offending them. You may have dif culty nding ways to use your social skills yet maintain your independence.

•

Selecting which groups you want to take part in and

how often to do it may be a problem for you.

Your inconsistent attitude toward socializing with others may cause criticism.

true to the typical needs of someone in this score category.

Your enthusiasn for playing a prominent part in group

Others illustrate ways to adjust behavior in order to oper-

activity may be misinterpreted as a wish to dominate.

16

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CHALLENGE

hand, your results can be used to understand common problems that might limit the effectiveness of your rela-

you to be recognized fairly for your contributions.

Operating at your best means not only honoring your own needs, but also altering your behavior when it is appropriate. Some of the examples below illustrate being

POSSIBLE

wish to change anything in your behavior. On the other

want to extend your relationships with them outside working hours. In addition, it is probably important for

AT YOUR BEST

OF

You may feel comfortable with your scores and have no

are so sociable, co-workers may mistakenly think you

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Re ects• How much you generally include other people in

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INCLUSION

INCLUSION

Re ects-

• How much you generally include other people in

IN

SCORES

your life

HIGH EXPRESSED (7-9) MEDIUM WANTED (3-6)

How much contact, attention, and recognition you want from others

GENERAL

Understand that if your life seems cluttered with too many people, it is probably because your behavior conveys more sociability than you really want

Your Inclusion results suggest that you come across as wanting to spend a lot of time with others. You probably use your social skills energetically, networking vigorously

and gaining recognition and attention. However, you actually are apt to want less time with others than it appears. While you quite possibly enjoy hosting events,

Build in activities that are typically solitary, such as

taking walks or painting •

Consider carefully before inviting others to join you or before accepting their invitations

initiating group activities, and inviting people to do things, you are likely to need periods of solitude as well. You probably use your enthusiastic interaction with others to gain the contacts, attention, and recognition that you desire. However, your outgoing manner may mislead others who assume that you want to be with them a great deal of the time. You are likely to enjoy a large circle of associates and a moderate number of people with whom you spend more time.

•

Communicate your need for privacy clearly but in a way that still shows respect for others' need to belong

•

Seek leadership positions-not necessarily for the purpose of having in uence or power, but to allow you to use your social skills and gain the recognition you want

AT WORK

You may feel comfortable with your scores and have no wish to change anything in your behavior. On the other hand, your results can be used to understand common

You probably prefer to work in an environment where you have the opportunity to make contacts, involve people, and use your people skills. However, you also need

AREAS OF

POSSIBLE

CHALLENGE

FOR YOU

problems that might limit the effectiveness of your relationships or interfere with some of your other important

time to work independently. Team meetings and working on projects with others are natural activities for you

needs. Check any items below that you wish to consider for further attention and action:

as long as you can do your follow-up work on an individual basis. Opportunities to receive attention and recognition are most likely to stimulate your enthusiasm and job satisfaction.

You may fail to effectively separate your work and private life.

AT YOUR

You may feel trapped in situations where you are unable to make use of your social skills.

BEST

Operating at your best means not only honoring your own needs, but also altering your behavior when it is appropriate. Some of the examples below illustrate being true to the typical needs of someone in this score category. Others illustrate ways to adjust behavior in order to operate optimally. Given your scores, you probably function best when you are able to do the following:

There may be too many people in your life making social demands on you.

People may misinterpret your sociability as an invitation to a more personal relationship.

It may be dif cult for you to accept that other people can quite legitimately prefer not to be part of group life.

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17

INCLUSION

Re ects• How much you generally include other people in

SCORES

your life

HIGH EXPRESSED (7-9) HIGH WANTED (7-9)

How much contact, attention, and recognition you want fronm others

IN GENERAL for being with others. Starting and encouraging relation-

nity activities, going on group excursions, hosting parties, talking on the phone, or reading books about people

ships, or having others do so, is apt to bring you real pleasure. Social life and group membership are probably

Develop your ability to enjoy periods of quietness and solitude

Your Inclusion results suggest a clearly visible preference

important to you for the contact, identity, recognition, and attention they provide. You most likely have welldeveloped social skills that can also contribute to the amount of responsibility and in uence you want as well

•

Seek leadership positions, not necessarily for the pur-

as provide a source for your closer relationships. You may

pose of having in uence or power, but to give you exposure and prominence

enjoy and want short periods of privacy, but if being alone continues for very long, you probably want to be with someone, pick up the phone, or even turn on the radio or

Accept that other people may legitimately prefer to put less importance on group membership than you

TV for company. AT WORK

AREAS

You may prefer to work in an environment where you can

You may feel comfortable with your scores and have no wish to change anything in your behavior. On the other

take an active part in group discussions and where your ability to make and maintain a network of contacts is use-

CHALLENGE

FOR YOU

problems that might limit the effectiveness of your relationships or interfere with some of your other important

where you are expected to sit back and be a less active

needs. Check any items below that you wish to consider for further attention and action:

You may overextend your activities with others to the point of exhaustion or be unable to enjoy your

recognition are very likely to stimulate your enthusiasm and job satisfaction.

own company.

AT YOUR BEST

It is possible that you overwhelm others with your restless need for social activity when they want time

Operating at your best means not only honoring your own needs, but also altering your behavior when it is appropriate. Some of the exarmples below illustrate being true to the typical needs of someone in this score category.

Others illustrate ways to adjust behavior in order to oper-

ate optimally. Given your scores, you probably function best when you are able to do the following:

18 fl

POSSIBLE

hand, your results can be used to understand common

ible projects and positions of prominence. Attention and

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OF

ful and valued.Jobs that require you to spenda lot of time working alone are likely to be frustrating, as will those participant. You probably like being involved in highly vis-

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Find opportunities to speak in public, perform, or entertain

alone. •

You may overcontribute in groups to the point of annoying others. Your eagerness to contribute may be misinterpreted as a wish to domninate.

Find healthy outlets for your soial needs-like join-

It is possible that your strong need to belong is a

ing social groups, volunteering to work on commu-

defense against possible rejection or being ignored.

CONTR0L

Re ects-

• How much in uence and responsibility you want SCORES

• How much you want others to lead and in uence you

LOW EXPRESSED (0-2) LOW WANTED (0-2)

IN

GENERAL

Work in familiar arenas where you are con dent of your abilities or get training in areas where you need

Your Control results suggest that you generally do not want the responsibility of being in charge-nor do you want others telling you what to do. Your actions possi-

or want to be more comfortable

Participate in the types of team activities in which the group sets up goals and then lets each individual fol-

bly show these preferences, so others may see you as

very independent, perhaps even rebellious. You probably enjoy other very independent people who do not try to force their opinions on you nor want you to direct them. When others impose structure and rules on you or when you feel pushed into new responsibilities to0 quickly, you are likely to back off or resist. Under stress,

low through in his or her own way •

Develop your leadership skills at your own pace and in your own style through reading, independent learning activities, classes, or seminars

Practice your leadership skills by accepting or volunteering for responsibilities in situations where you feel con dent

you may see any authority gure as making unreasonable demands--even when he or she is not. In your more re ective moments, and when you are given a rea-

sonable amount of reassurance, you can be less defensive concerning others' authority and less wary of taking

control yourself. AT WORK You may prefer to work in an environment where you can

do things in your own way, at your own pace, and without close supervision, structure, or rules. Although you tend to avoid situations that require you to be in charge, you actually have good leadership potential. It is not so much the familiar areas of responsibility that make you

AREAS OF

CHALLENGE

FOR YOU

You may feel comfortable with your scores and have no wish to change anything in your behavior. On the other

hand, your results can be used to understand common

problems that might limit the effectiveness of your relationships or interfere with some of your other important needs. Check any items below that you wish to consider for further attention and action:

It may be hard for you to accept that, realistically, many situations need coordination or leadershipand, when it is appropriate, to accept or offer it without objecting.

uncomfortable, but the untried or undeveloped ones.

AT YOUR BEST

Dealing with people in authority without resentment may be dif cult for you.

Operating at your best means not only honoring your own needs, but also altering your behavior when it is appropriate. Some of the examples below illustrate being

You may need to overcome a public impression that

you will criticize a lot but undertake very little.

true to the typical needs of someone in this score category.

You may want to consider altering or freeing yourself from dependent relationships that only serve to frus-

Others illustrate ways to adjust behavior in order to oper-

ate optimally. Given your scores, you probably function best when you are able to do the following: Work on autonomous projects (leaving others to their

POSSIBLE

trate yOu. •

Your very strong needs for independence and free-

territory and you to yours) and do a top-notch job so

dom from responsibility may sometimes be your way

that you are again considered for self-reliant work

of coping with doubts about your competency.

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19

CONTROL

Re ects• How much in uence and responsibility you want

SCORES

• How much you want others to lead and in uence you

LOW EXPRESSED (0-2) MEDIUM WANTED (3-6)

IN GENERAL

Avoid consistently asking others for directions and

Your Control results suggest that you give the impression

opinions

of not wanting to lead or in uence others. However, you

Establish guidelines for yourself based on advice from

probably enjoy a certain amount of responsibility if, before

people, books, or formal course work to increase your comfort and independence in making decisions and in taking on responsibilities

making your decisions, you can consult with other people who are involved. By checking with others rst, you can feel reassured that you are doing the right thing. When you

Say what you want-not leaving others to guess-

cannot confer with others about your decisions, you may respond in a number of ways. Perhaps you will nd security in situations and relationships where expectations are

before you feel taken advantage of

Gain extensive experience in a focused

spelled out clearly, or you may want to share responsibilities rather than assuming them alone. Alternatively, you might prefer to let someone else take the decision-making

role while considering your preferences. You are apt to enjoy carrying out the desires of those you care about when you are sure you understand what is wanted.

AT WORK

unteer or paid work that can contribute to your self-assurance in making independent decisions in

that eld AREAS OF

hand, your results can be used to understand common problems that might limit the effectiveness of your relationships or interfere with some of your other important needs. Check any items below that you wish to consider for further attention and action:

are most comfortable in an unpressured, noncompetitive atmosphere. On the other hand, you may be comfortable in a more structured environment that has clear-cut expec-

You may be unclear about how ambitious you really

true to the typical needs of someone in this score category.

Others illustrate ways to adjust behavior in order to oper-

ate optimally. Given your scores, you probably function best when you are able to do the following: Find a colleague with whom you can discuss your

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20

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FOR YOU

wish to change anything in your behavior. On the other

are.

•

You may nd it dif cult to work with people who look to you for direct leadership.

•

It is possible that the reason you frequently want to run your ideas past someone else is that you have doubts about your ability to make good decisions.

Operating at your best means not only honoring your own needs, but also altering your behavior when it is appropriate. Some of the examples below illustrate being

fl

CHALLENGE

You may feel comfortable with your scores and have no

AT YOUR BEST

fl

POSSIBLE

You may prefer working in an environment where you have some responsibility and in uence but are not the nal one in charge. You probably do very well where you can share decision making and risk taking. You probably

tations and speci c ways of carrying out activities, and where job descriptions, objectives, company policies, or the line of authority can guide your decisions.

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eld of vol-

You may miss opportunities for development because

of fear of failure. •

Some people in this score category let others take control more often than they really like-out of tol-

erance rather than desire. If this applies to you, you probably let others make decisions that affect you and

decisions if your work requires more responsibility

may fail to assert your own wishes or ambitions out of politeness or consideration. Others probably do

than you feel good about

not see how independent you really want to be.

CONTRO0L

Re ects• How much in uence and responsibility you want

SCORES

• How much you want others to lead and in uence you

LOW EXPRESSED (0-2) HIGH WANTED (7-9)

IN

GENERAL

Make sure the people you are closest to understand that you need frequent time for fun activities in order to perform and feel your best

Your Control results suggest that you have little need to direct or in uence people and that the way you act clearly conveys this message to others. You are probably responsive to others' directions and may actually prefer that they make the decisions. This could be because you value free-

dom from responsibility and enjoy the fun that you feel goes with it. Alternatively, your wish to leave decisions to others may arise from a general tolerance for what other people want. A third possible reason is that you worry about the consequences of taking responsibility and, therefore, try to avoid it in case you fail. You are likely to feel most at home where you understand the situation and what is wanted.

Share similar recreational interests with those close to you since you value your free time yet may also want to spend time with those you care about

Limit social or volunteer situations that feel like obligations AREAS OF

POSSIBLE

CHALLENGE

FOR YOU

You may feel comfortable with your scores and have no wish to change anything in your behavior. On the other hand, your results can be used to understand common problems that might limit the effectiveness of your rela-

AT W0RK

tionships or interfere with some of your other important

You probably are most comfortable working in an unpressured environment where there are trusted routines and

needs. Check any items below that you wish to consider for further attention and action:

clear rules and expectations. Most likely, you would rather

•

have someone in authority take nal responsibility for leadership and for end results while you follow their direc-

Your willingness to let others direct you may allow them to exploit you.

tions to carry out the plan. The planning or preparation

Bypassing opportunities to lead or in uence may

stages of projects may also be enjoyable for you, while getting others to implemnent those plans probably is not. In

cause you to feel resentful when decisions that involve

you are made over your head.

addition, jobs may appeal to you that allow for a fair amount of time to pursue enjoyable personal activities.

You may have underlying worries about how competent and effective you really are.

AT YOUR BEST

You may neglect to schedule enough personal time to relieve tension when you have too much responsibility.

Operating at your best means not only honoring your own needs, but also altering your behavior when it is appropriate. Some of the examples below illustrate being

Some people in this score category let others take con-

true to the typical needs of someone in this score category.

trol more often than they really like-out of tolerance rather than desire. If this applies to you, you may be

Others illustrate ways to adjust behavior in order to oper-

so willing to let others take responsibility that you fail

ate optimally. Given your scores, you probably function best when you are able to do the following:

to develop your own ability to guide and in uence others. Or you may repress your own desires for selfreliance to the point where you feel inwardly angry.

Receive thorough brie ng or training in the duties you are expected to perform Work where there is someone in authority who is consistent in the way he or she likes things done

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21

CONTROL

Re ects

• How much in uence and responsibility you want SCORES

• How much you want others to lead and in uence you

MEDIUM EXPRESSED (3-6) LOW WANTED (0-2)

IN GENERAL Your Control results suggest that you are not driven by the desire to lead, nor do you generally try to control oth-

•

Balance times when you exert in uence over situations and people with times when you accept direction

ers. On the other hand, you do need to have in uence and

Exercise your preference for responsibility and control over your own life and time

to experience accomplishment. You tend to be realistic about where and when to assume responsibility or lead. Your ability to adapt to the amount of control a situation

Head team efforts, either in your work or personl

demands can serve you well. However, while you are able

life, that enable you to use your leadership yet allow you to share the responsibility and rewards

to accept direction from others, you probably want very little guidance, and if you are consistently denied in u-

Discuss your control needs with those closest to you

ence or decision-making responsibilities, you may become

ing on separate areas of responsibility

very frustrated. AT WORK

and, if necessary, take turns having your way or decid-

AREAS OF

POSSIBLE

CHALLENGE

FOR YOU

You may feel comfortable with your scores and have no

You may enjoy working in an environment where your exibility either to take directions or be the leader is val-

wish to change anything in your behavior. On the other

ued. However, you are likely to become bored and unmo-

problems that might limit the effectiveness of your relationships or interfere with some of your other important needs. Check any items below that you wish to consider for further attention and action:

tivated if there are no opportunities to express your own in uence and leadership abilities--at least part of the time. Even though (or more likely, because) you do not need to control people, you are probably well suited to leadership roles.

hand, your results can be used to understand common

You may have trouble achieving balance between too

much and too little responsibility.

AT YOUR BEST

sometimes choose inappropriate issues on which to

true to the typical needs of someone in this score category.

You may neglect to consult the other people in your life on important issues.

Others illustrate ways to adjust behavior in order to oper-

You may have ambivalent feelings about people in

Create or volunteer for projects that give you more responsibility and in uence when you feel you are

You may be afraid to set challenging goals that stretch

not getting enough of these qualities in your personal

or work life

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make a stand.

ate optimally. Given your scores, you probably function best when you are able to do the following: •

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When you resist in uence from others, you may

Operating at your best means not only honoring your own needs, but also altering your behavior when it is appropriate. Some of the examples below illustrate being

authority.

you and others.

CONTROL

Re ects

• How much in uence and responsibility you want SCORES

• How much you want others to lead and in uence you

MEDIUM EXPRESSED (3-6) MEDIUM WANTED (3-6)

IN GENERAL Your Control results suggest that you prefer to nd a mid-

dle path between appearing either overly dominant or overly in uenced by others. You are likely to prefer structure in some situations and less structure in others. You probably enjoy making decisions and being in charge but also do not mind following others' directions. You are seldom likely to make excessive demands on others yet do expect them to carry their share of the load. Although you are able to assume responsibility without the support of someone else, cooperatively sharing in decisions or rst nding out what others think before you decide is prob-

ably your preferred style. You most likely appreciate

knowing others' views-both support and criticisms before you commit yourself.

AT WORK You may prefer to work in an environment in which you can in uence decisions or lead but one that also provides a democratic atmosphere where you share responsibility for success and failure. Plenty of opportunity to consult with others before making nal decisions is likely to stimulate your work enjoyment as well as your con dence. You are probably a team player who is happiest making

decisions with support and input from others. AT YOUR BEST

Operating at your best means not only honoring your own needs, but also altering your behavior when it is appropriate. Some of the examples below illustrate being true to the typical needs of someone in this score category. Others illustrate ways to adjust behavior in order to oper-

ate optimally. Given your scores, you probably function best when you are able to do the following: Collaborate with someone whose knowledge or skills you admire, or seek out a mentor to whom you can

look for guidance

Work within an overall framework of expectation that still leaves you enough individual freedom to express your own opinions

Work on teams where decisions can be distributed or delegated

Take advantage of community or company educational opportunities-either through volunteer activities and work assignments or through formal class work -in order to increase your leadership, knowledge, and skills

Work in a eld that comes very naturally to you or where you can gain enough experience to bolster your self-assurance

AREAS OF

POSSIBLE

CHALLENGE

FOR YOU

You may feel comfortable with your scores and have no wish to change anything in your behavior. On the other hand, your results can be used to understand common

problems that might limit the effectiveness of your relationships or interfere with some of your other important needs. Check any items below that you wish to consider for further attention and action:

You may nd it dif cult to set your ambitions at the appropriate level, neither so high that they feel unattainable nor so low that you feel resentful at lost opportunities.

When it is not feasible for you to consult with others or share the responsibility, you may nd it dif cult to go it alone. When others disagree with you or criticize your decisions, you may feel they are trying to take over. You may worry excessively about failure, competency, and performance, especially in uncharted or rapidly changing areas.

Some people in this score category let others take

control more often than they really likeout of tolerance rather than desire. If this applies to you, you probably fail to communicate your real wish to take a more active part in directing activities, especially when someone else wants to take over. This may lead

others to mistakenly believe that you have little interest in positions of responsibility.

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CONTROL

Re ects• How much in uence and responsibility you want

SCORES

• How much you want others to lead and in uence you

MEDIUM EXPRESSED (3-6) HIGH WANTED (7-9)

IN GENERAL

are genuine, and that you can be very productive operating in this manner

Your Control results suggest that you are happy to take the lead on many occasionsbut not all of the time.

Share your personal responsibilities by taking turns being in charge, delegating, or employing others if

While you are apt to understand that you can make good decisions, you probably have a high tolerance for letting others lay down the rules and set the trends-and if you

you can afford it Find a work schedule that is either

have any doubts at all, you are apt to defer to experts or supervisors. Control results in this score category often

allow you to organize play around your work or is predictable enough (say strictly nine to ve) for you to plan other activities without any surprises.

indicate a desire for a fair amount of in uential respon-

sibility as well as for frequent chances to get away from it. Perhaps this is because you value your free timne and

the

Stick with your present responsibilities until you can do them more quickly and routinely, thus creating more personal free time

exibility to be ready, when possible, to pursue some

personal interest. Or it may be because you just enjoy splitting your efforts between times when you are in control and times when you can sit back and let someone

exible enough to

AREAS OF

POSSIBLE

CHALLENGE

FOR YOU

else take over.

You may feel comfortable with your scores and have no wish to change anything in your behavior. On the other

AT WORK

hand, your results can be used to understand common

You most likely prefer to work in an environment where you can plan your own time but where expectations are

problems that might limit the effectiveness of your relationships or interfere with some of your other important

clear and adaptability is essential. You probably enjoy sit-

needs. Check any items below that you wish to consider for further attention and action:

uations where you have a reasonable amount of responsibility but where you also have quite a bit of free time. In

How much responsibility you feel comfortable with

a hard-driving environment, your interest in taking time out from responsibilities may be interpreted as frivolous

and what your ambitions are may be unclear-to both yourself and others.

or self-indulgent.

Feeling, or actually even being, taken advantage of

AT YOUR BEST

may be a problem for you.

Operating at your best means not only honoring your own needs, but also altering your behavior when it is appropriate. Some of the examples below illustrate being

You may pass up opportunities to develop through leadership. You may give the impression that your main aim in

true to the typical needs of someone in this score category.

life is to have a good time.

Others illustrate ways to adjust behavior in order to oper-

ate optimally. Given your scores, you probably function best when you are able to do the following: Schedule regular and frequent recreational times to relieve the tension of responsibilities

Convey to those who matter that your dual Control needs for a fair amount ofdecision-makingresponsibility as well as frequent times to get away from it-

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24

•

Some people in this score category let others take

control more often than they really like--out of tolerance rather than desire. If this applies to you, you may pass up chances for the responsibility you want

when others indicate that they want it. Or you may exibly accept whatever amount of in uence people give to you (instead of saying what you prefer) and be frustrated as a result.

CONTROL

Re ects-

• How much in uence and responsibility you want SCORES

• How much you want others to lead and in uence you

HIGH EXPRESSED (7-9) LOW WANTED (0-2)

IN

GENERAL

Your Control results suggest that you strongly prefer to lead, in uence, or have responsibility and that you are reluctant to take much direction from others. You probably nd it dif cult to sit back and let others take over, especially when the circumstances involve you. Most likely, you set very high goals for yourself and want to feel that you are excelling. You probably have an intense need to be recognized as competent, and this can lead you into taking on many responsibilities, perhaps even beyond your

proven capabilities. Whatever the situation, you usually want to have a say about how things will be done. Structure and rules can seem sti ing unless you have pri-

Balance your typical high need to control with more genuinely cooperative behavior-such as taking turns, making decisions together, or letting others determine the choice

Discuss, negotiate, and decide on separate areas of

responsibility when you work with others who also strongly prefer to control Check out your riskiest ideas with a respected but more cautious friend or colleague

Show patience with people who are less decisive than you

marily created or voluntarily chosen them for yourself.

AREAS OF

AT WORK

You may feel comfortable with your scores and have no wish to change anything in your behavior. On the other hand, your results can be used to understand common

You may enjoy working in an environment where you are

trusted to accomplish tasks with minimal supervision, even when this involves high risk. You are likely to enjoy positions of in uence, leadership, and power and will nd it frustrating when you cannot have your say. Delegating responsibility may be dif cult for you unless you are sure the task will be completed in just the way you want. Opportunities to in uence others and be recognized for your competence may be essential if you are to feel motivated and happy in your work.

AT YOUR BEST

Operating at your best means not only honoring your own needs, but also altering your behavior when it is appropriate. Some of the examples below illustrate being

POSSIBLE

CHALLENGE

FOR YOU

problems that might limit the effectiveness of your relationships or interfere with some of your other important needs. Check any items below that you wish to consider

for further attention and action: Your tendency not to delegate or to let others make decisions for themselves may hinder their development and growth. You may take on too much.

You may inadvertently offend peopie by assuming you know their opinions rather than listening to them and asking them what they think. Rules that seem necessary to others may be irksome

true to the typical needs of someone in this score category. Others illustrate ways to adjust behavior in order to oper-

to you.

ate optimally. Given your scores, you probably function best when you are able to do the following:

In your efforts to demonstrate your competence, you may exhaust yourself.

Find situations where you can be self-suf cient, competent, and in control of most things that affect you

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CONTR0L

Re ects

• How much in uence and responsibility you want SCORES

• How much you want others to lead and in uence you

HIGH EXPRESSED (7-9) MEDIUM WANTED (3-6)

IN

GENERAL

Share interests in work or play with those people you

Your Control results suggest a high preference to be in

want to spend time with--since

control, reluctance to take a lot of direction, and a deep

tionships may be dif cult

need to pursue things that please you. Your intense desire

Lessen others' confusion about when you do and

to be recognized as competent may lead you into taking

don't want to be in

on many responsibilities-perhaps even beyond your proven abilities. You are most likely to strive for excel-

ing to take turns, making decisions cooperatively,

chargefor

nding time for rela-

instance, by agree-

deciding on separate areas of responsibility, or simply stating clearly when you do or don't want to be

lence and may expect as much of others as yourself. While

exerting in uence probably remains very important to

in control

you, you are also apt to crave periods of less responsibil-

Participate in activities connected to your favorite per-

ity in order to pursue personal enjoyment. Others may be confused about when you want to be in charge and when

sonal interests where you can also exert leadership

you do not -and perhaps even think of you as less com-

mitted to leadership than you really are.

AREAS OF

individually distinguish yourself but where responsibili-

hand, your results can be used to understand common problems that might limit the effectiveness of your rela-

ties can be rotated or shared. You no doubt enjoy in u-

tionships or interfere with some of your other important

encing or being an in uential and powerful group member and thrive in positions that give you authority to

needs. Check any items below that you wish to consider

manage or supervise others. You are probably happiest when you can combine your need for achievement with

•

for further attention and action:

instance, turning a hobby or a leisure or community inter-

It may be dif cult for you to say no to new responsi-

est intO a career.

AT YOUR

true to the typical needs of someone in this score category.

Others illustrate ways to adjust behavior in order to oper-

ate optimally. Given your scores, you probably function best when you are able to do the following:

Satisfy your desires for control and competence while

also

nding legitimate ways to share some of the

authority •

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26

bility when itseemsinteresting orchallenging even when you do not have the experience, time, or com-

BEST

Operating at your best means not only honoring your own needs, but also altering your behavior when it is appropriate. Some of the examples below illustrate being

You may overextend yourself physically and mentally,

failing to allow enough time for relaxation.

activities that you nd pleasurable in their own right-for

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FOR YOU

wish to change anything in your behavior. On the other

You may prefer to work in an environment where you can

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CHALLENGE

You may feel comfortable with your scores and have no

AT WORK

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POSSIBLE

petence to assure that you will do a good job.

Delegating effectively may be dif cult for you. •

You may expect too much from others or hold them

to your own exacting standards. Some people in this score category let others take control more often than they really like--out of tol-

erance rather than desire. If this applies to you, you may feel resentful if others frequently takeadvantage

of your

exibility to let them assume in uence and

Participate in in uential projects in which you are

responsibility. Others may be confused when you show readiness to let someone else take over, then

competent and that carry in uence and authority

suddenly seem eager to do so yourself.

Re ects

CONTROL

• How much in uence and responsibility you want SCORES

• How much you want others to lead and in uence you

HIGH EXPRESSED (7-9) HIGH WANTED (7-9)

IN GENERAL

Stick to a well-de ned schedule that allows you to

Your Control results suggest that you have a strong drive

work very hard (both to show others you take respon-

and desire to exert impact on the world. You probably set

sibilities seriously and to satisfy your own needs for accomplishment), then regularly take time to get

very high goals for yourself and need to feel that you are excelling. However, a con ict is likely to exist. While you

probably want to assume responsibility and exert in uence, you also are apt to need frequent breaks from such

responsibilities. It is probably very important to integrate both of these strong needs into your life. Otherwise, you may overindulge in one area, then the other. For exam-

away from responsibility--for instance, by playing, not working, on weekends Work or participate in activities that carry authority but do not require a lot of your time AREAS OF

POSSIBLE

CHALLENGE

FOR YOU

ple, you might work too long or hard, become unhappy by overdoing it, and go on a pleasure-seeking binge. Overdoing the pleasure seeking might then result in guilt,

You may feel comfortable with your scores and have no wish to change anything in your behavior. On the other

and a repeating cycle could begin.

problems that might limit the effectiveness of your relationships or interfere with some of your other important

AT WORK You are apt to prefer working in a well-structured environment. You may also want ample opportunities for leadership and in uence as well as for regular times to pursue

things that please you. For instance, you may enjoy of cially sanctioned activities such as business travel that also

hand, your results can be used to understand common

needs. Check any items below that you wish to consider for further attention and action:

Letting go of enough responsibility to give yourself genuine leisure time at regular intervals may be dif cult for you.

novel may be very dif cult for you.

You may not delegate effectively or realize that others need both responsibility and the chance to make mistakes in order to grow and develop.

AT YOUR

It may be that you overvalue

give a degree of permission for pleasure and time out. On

the other hand, constant change and situations that are

BEST

competence-viewing

every mistake as a disaster.

Operating at your best means not only honoring your own needs, but also altering your behavior when it is appropriate. Some of the examples below illustrate being true to the typical needs of someone in this score category.

You may try to impose structure in every situation, even when it may be better to go with the ow.

Work on projects that let you exert your in uence

Some people in this score category let others take control more often than they really like-out of tolerance rather than desire. If this applies to you, you may not sek enough opportunities to completely fulll your need to in uence situations and people. On

and leadership in a well-structured

the other hand, you may be experiencing job burnout.

Others illustrate ways to adjust behavior in order to oper-

ate optimally. Given your scores, you probably function best when you are able to do the following:

manner

Gain the cooperation of people in your personal life

If this is true, your high Expressed Control score accurately indicates your strong need for responsibility and your willingness to work hard at achieving it, while your high Wanted Control score suggests that

who may make claims on your time that con ict with

you are caught in a situation that so challenges your

your personal priorities--then take turns by accommodating each other's priorities

need for in uential credibility that you inwardly long

Organize your work so that you can productively delegate tasks when it is appropriate

to be rescued from it.

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AFFECTION

Re ects• How close and warm you are with others

SCORES

• How close and warm you want others to be with yoU

LOW EXPRESSED (0-2) LOW WANTED (0-2)

IN GENERAL

Risk greater openness in relationships that are impor-

Your Affection results suggest that you are highly selective

tant to you

in your close relationships and that the way you act clearly

Demonstrate that you are listening attentively to

conveys that message to others. It is very likely that you do not show much closeness or caring toward most peo-

otherseven without responding in an emotional way

ple; nor do you want them to act that way toward you. You probably need to know and trust someone well before

Use smiles or other signs of friendliness when you want to be more approachable

you are willing to establish real warmth. In general, personal questions and displays of familiarity can feel intru-

Appreciate others' praise, encouragement, and help because you realize it is probably sincere

sive, reassurance can seem insincere, and emotional

behavior can make you uncomnfortable. Others may describe you as hard to know, reserved, self-contained, re ective, cautious, and even distant or intimidating.

POSSIBLE

CHALLENGE

You probably are most comfortable working where a calm,

and least

comfortable where emphasis is put on rapport. You are apt

You may feel comfortable with your scores and have no wish to change anything in your behavior. On the other

problems that might limit the effectiveness of your relationships or interfere with some of your other important needs. Check any items below that you wish to consider for further attention and action:

to dislike personal interruptions that keep you from getting your work done. Job success that depends on frequent phone or personal friendliness probably does not motivate you. You are likely to appreciate respect for your own emotional privacy as well as that of others.

Your tendency to form so few close relationships may cause you to experience loneliness. •

People may see you as cold and unapproachable.

Operating at your best means not only honoring your own needs, but also altering your behavior when it is appropriate. Some of the examples below illustrate being

You may have trouble recognizing that other people may legitimately need closer relationships than you do.

true to the typical needs of someone in this score category.

Others illustrate ways to adjust behavior in order to oper-

ate optimally. Given your scores, you probably function best when you are able to do the following:

You may be so task oriented that you forget to con-

sider the human element when analyzing problems and seeking solutions.

AT YOUR BEST

•

It is possible that you are avoiding closer ties because

you have been hurt in the past and are now protect-

ing yourself from further hurt. Operate in environments where formality is the rule but some informality is considered appropriate

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FOR YOU

hand, your results can be used to understand common

AT WORK ef cient, businesslike environment is encouraged

AREAS OF

SCORES

• How close and warm you want others to be with youU

LOW EXPRESSED (0-2) MEDIUM WANTED (3-6)

IN GENERAL

Use direct eye contact when you want to show inter-

Your Affection results suggest that you enjoy a realistic

est in someone or to appear more approachable

amount of warmth from others but rarely show it. You

Find a friendly, supportive environment where you

probably are not demonstrative and seldom want to make

receive positive encouragement

the rst move in establishing close ties. People may think of you either as somewhat cool or as displaying the same

Show appreciation to others in indirect ways-for

pleasant and friendly manner to everyone. In either case, they most likely feel that you are dif cult to know well.

instance, sending a note of thanks--as well as more

Before you form a close relationship, you probably rst need to get to know and trust the other person well.

While you are apt to have a few long-time friends who

understand that you appreciate their devotion and that you truly care about them, you may wish you had more close relationships.

AT WORK You probably enjoy working in a warm environment

directly AREAS OF

CHALLENGE

FOR YOU

hand, your results can be used to understand common

problems that might limit the effectiveness of your relationships or interfere with some of your other important needs. Check any items below that you wish to consider for further attention and action: When you consistently act as if you do not need much

of time. Situations where you are required to form mostly short-term relationships that have little potential for close-

reassurance, consideration, or caring, you may be "training" people not to give you that kind of support.

ness are likely to be more demanding for you, especially if you are expected to take the initiative.

AT YOUR

POSSIBLE

You may feel comfortable with your scores and have no wish to change anything in your behavior. On the other

where trust and rapport can develop slowly over a period

It may be hard for you to risk showing or saying that you want to be supportive of another person.

BEST

You may not show signs of personal interest in others-

Operating at your best means not only honoring your own needs, but also altering your behavior when it is appropriate. Some of the examples below illustrate being

for example, you may fail to nod your understanding when they talk, or you may not openly share your needs with them.

true to the typical needs of someone in this score category.

Others illustrate ways to adjust behavior in order to oper-

You may have dif culty accepting that even if you

ate optimally. Given your scores, you probably function best when you are able to do the following:

have been hurt in a past relationship, the same pattern

Associate with people who do not require a lot of

reassurance or direct expression of emotion

will not necessarily prevail in the future. •

You may not disclose enough about yourself to trusted friends and associates to form real closeness.

Build relationships at your own cautious pace with-

out pressure from others to appear warmer early on

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Re ects

• How close and warm you are with others

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AFFECTION

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SCORES

• How close and warm you want others to be with you

LOW EXPRESSED (0-2) HIGH WANTED (7-9)

IN

GENERAL

Work and associate with people who are encouraging

and supportive

Your Affection results suggest that you very much want people to show they care about you, but you seldom display this need. You enjoy others' being very warm, open, considerate, supportive, and appreciative, but they rarely

Use direct eye contact or smile at others when you

realize it. Instead, people may consider you reserved, self-

Surround yourself with people who are generally happy

contained, and perhaps rather aloofgiving the impression that you do not want much closeness. Although you are able to form close relationships, you are not apt to show your interest or care before the other person does. You rst need to get to know, and then trust, the other person enough to risk showing your real feelings. You probably look for a great deal of reassurance that others care about you-without necessarily being able to do the same for them. You may be very sensitive to slights or insults and may be easily hurt, perhaps even where no hurt is intended.

to make the rst moves in developing relationships

want to seem more approachable

Overcome your reticence to show interest in othersfor example, by asking about their work or personal lives in a friendly manner AREAS OF

POSSIBLE

CHALLENGE

FOR YOU

You may feel comfortable with your scores and have no wish to change anything in your behavior. On the other hand, your results can be used to understand common

problems that might limit the effectiveness of your relationships or interfere with some of your other important needs. Check any items below that you wish to consider

AT WORK

for further attention and action:

You probably enjoy working in a warm, supportive envi-

naturally. Jobs that require you to deal with a lot of com-

You may lose possible opportunities to form relationships by consistently waiting for others to make the rst move.

plaints or disapproval are probably not for you; nor are those where you are expected consistently to show per-

surance, support, consideration, or caring from oth-

ronment where encouragement and caring are part of the culture and where you can form relationships slowly and

Because you may act as if you do not need much reas-

sonal caring and put others at ease.

AT YOUR

ers, they may see you as distant,

cool, tough, or

intimidating.

BEST

Operating at your best means not only honoring your own needs, but also altering your behavior when it is appropriate. Some of the examples below illustrate being

•

It may be dif cult for you to handle apparent slights.

Risking greater openness in important relationships may be hard for you.

true to the typical needs of someone in this score category.

Others illustrate ways to adjust behavior in order to oper-

You may be too

ate optimally. Given your scores, you probably function

because you are so eager for closeness with others.

best when you are able to do the following:

Be in situations where people can get to know you

well over time

30

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Re ects• How close and warm you are with others

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AFFECTION

exible and accommodating at times

AFFECTION

Re ects

• How close and warm you are with others SCORES

• How close and warm you want others to be with you

MEDIUM EXPRESSED (3-6) LOW WANTED (0-2)

IN

GENERAL

Reserve your normal amount of reassurance and empathy for the people you really care about or want to encourage

Your Affection results suggest that you are generally warm, open, and encouraging to people, but yyou do not necessarily need them to act the same way toward you. Others are apt to think you want more closeness than you really do because you show interest and concern for them. You

Be honest about your real Affection needs with those who count-for example, a relative, supervisor, coworker, or special friend

probably like to keep most of your relationships on a justfriendly basis and reserve real closeness for a select group. Most likely you believe that people need and respond to your expressions of warmth, and when you act in a

Understand that when others show support and warmth toward you, they are generally sincere

Work on both people-oriented projects, where you can show warmth and support for others, and taskoriented projects, where you don't have to concern yourself with relationships all the time

friendly way, it not only makes them happier but helps you satisfy your own desires. Others may feel confused when you do not follow up on your apparent interest in

them. You probably distrust the sincerity of others warmth until you know them quite well. AT WORK

AREAS OF

POSSIBLE

CHALLENGE

FOR YOU

You may feel comfortable with your scores and have no wish to change anything in your behavior. On the other hand, your results can be used to understand common

You may prefer to work in an environment where you can be supportive and encouraging but where it is not appropriate to form close one-to-one relationships. You probably enjoy praising others or exchanging pleasantries with

needs. Check any items below that you wish to consider

them. A job that offers plenty of opportunity to build

for further attention and action:

problems that might limit the effectiveness of your. relationships or interfere with some of your other important

warm but eeting relationships may suit you well. You will probably be less comfortable with work situations where reciprocal or longer-term closeness is required.

You may nd it dif cult to limit the emotional claims of others without offending them. •

AT YOUR

BEST

Operating at your bestmneans not only honoring your own needs, but also altering your behavior when it is appropriate. Some of the examples below illustrate being true to the typical needs of someone in this score category. Others illustrate ways to adjust behavior in order to oper-

ate optimally. Given your scores, you probably function best when you are able to do the following: Be somewhat less open and encouraging with people

if you nd that they seek your help and support more than you like

Safeguarding enough time for re ection and freedomn from interruptions could be a problem for you.

Your personal warmth may mislead others by making them think you want more closeness than you really do. It may be hard for you to interpret others' emotions and to realize that when people express intimacy, they may just be trying to match your own behavior. Others may feel used when you employ your warmth to get what you want from them yet fail to follow up

on your friendliness.

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Re ects

• How close and warm you are with others SCORES

• How close and warm you want others to be with you

MEDIUM EXPRESSED (3-6) MEDIUM WANTED (3-6)

IN

GENERAL

Your Affection results suggest that you come across to others as warm, accessible, and supportive of them and that you probably need about the same amount of personal interest or closeness shown to you. While you are apt to handle others' indifference fairly well, you are likely to prefer that others show the same openness and friendliness toward you as you do toward them; and you generally assume that they will do so. You are apt to be comfortable both showing warmth and receiving it, although extreme demonstrations of closeness or coolness may make you

uncomfortable.

AT WORK You probably prefer working in an environment where you have the opportunity to use your warmth and friendliness- and where these qualities are valued. While you may be less at home where excessive emotionalism exists, you are likely to cope well with people's different needs for warmth, familiarity, and closeness. Your ability

to approach others in an easygoing way, to accept their individuality, and to build rapport may mean that you are particularly well suited to roles where negotiation is one

of your responsibilities. AT YOUR BEST

Operating at your best means not only honoring your own needs, but also altering your behavior when it is appropriate. Some of the examples below illustrate being true to the typical needs of someone in this score category. Others illustrate ways to adjust behavior in order to oper-

ate optimally. Given your scores, you probably function best when you are able to do the following:

Find outlets where you can exchange feelings with friends

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AFFECTION

Remember that while you tend to be open and direct about your needs, others may be manipulative or play games in their relationships

Find situations where you can use your natural inclination to make each person feel special

Maintain distance from acquaintances who are overly

needy or emotional Use your ability to address dif cult issues in a gen-

tle way AREAS

OF

POSSIBLE

CHALLENGE

FOR YOU

You may feel comfortable with your scores and have no wish to change anything in your behavior. On the other hand, your results can be used to understand common

problems that might limit the effectiveness of your relationships or interfere with some of your other important needs. Check any items below that you wish to consider

for further attention and action: You may have trouble nding the right balance between your closer friendships and your more casual ones-that is, not having too many in eithercategory. You may be so emotionally responsive to others' desires for support that you are constantly at risk of being "put to work," even in your leisure time.

You may have trouble accepting that it is not always possible to be liked.

It may be hard for you to understand that others often have dif culty expressing their emotions. Your openness may cause others to feel threatened if they are less open or direct than you are.

AFFECTION

Re ects• How close and warm you are with others

SCORES

• How close and warm you want others to be with you

MEDIUM EXPRESSED (3-6) HIGH WANTED (7-9)

IN GENERAL

Take the risk of disclosing more about your need for reassurance with trusted friends and with the other

Your Affection results suggest that you are a genuinely

warm and caring person who greatly enjoys others' personal interest, encouragement, and friendship. People probably recognize your friendliness but fail to see how strongly you need reassurance and support. Nor would they guess that until you know and trust someone very well, you are wary of establishing attachments. Even after you have become close with someone, you are apt to want a great deal of reassurance that you are cared for or are important to him or her. Your need for individual closeness may fall short of ful llment both because of its depth and because others seldom realize how much you need it.

AT W0RK You may prefer working in an environment where close relationships are positively promoted and where support, appreciation, and encouragement are an accepted part of everyday life. The ability to use your own natural warmth and consideration without facing too much indifference or coolness from others is also likely to contribute to your job satisfaction and performance.

important people in your life Be in an environment where there is open expression

of support and caring •

Understand that most people do not give as much personal interest and reassurance as you are apt to want

Realize that when others do not display the amount of warmth you want, they probably mean no offense

AREAS OF

POSSIBLE

CHALLENGE

FOR Y0U

You may feel comfortable with your scores and have no wish to change anything in your behavior. On the other hand, your results can be used to understand common

problems that might limit the effectiveness of your relationships or interfere with some of your other important needs. Check any items below that you wish to consider for further attention and action:

You may have trouble making your real needs clear early in a relationship-without overwhelming the

other person.

AT YOUR

BEST

Operating at your best means not only honoring your own needs, but also altering your behavior when it is appropriate. Some of the examples below illustrate being

You may be oversensitive to apparent slights and over-

concerned about reassurance from others. •

You may feel that you generally care about others more than they care about you.

•

Perhaps you press others too frequently for demonstrations of care.

•

You may have dif culty confronting and recognizing your insecurity about close relationships.

true to the typical needs of someone in this score category.

Others illustrate ways to adjust behavior in order to oper-

ate optimally. Given your scores, you probably function best when you are able to do the following: Be involved in small group activities where you can

get to know the individual members well over an extended time period

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Re ectsHow close and warm you are with others

SCORES

• How close and warm you want others to be with you

HIGH EXPRESSED (7-9) LOW WANTED (0-2)

IN GENERAL

•

deal of warmth, affection, andcloseness to othersyet you keep most of your relationships on a just-friendly basis. While you probably talk openly to people about

Find volunteer or paid situations where you are

respected for your ability to form quick connections with others but where you are not expected to maintain long-term relationships

Your Affection results suggest that you demonstrate a great

•

personal issues, you may not really care whether they tell

Maintain some distance from people in ways that do

not upset or hurt them

you about themselves. Even so, people are likely to think

Use discrimination in offering reassurance, praise, openness, and warmth

of you as friendly and encouraging. You probably believe

that people need and respond to your expressions of warmth and diplomacy, and when you behave in a friendly

Develop the ability to listen for the feelings of close friends and co-workers

way it not only makes them happier, but also helps you sat-

isfy your own desires. While your personal warmth can be a charming asset, it may also pose dif culties. People may take your friendliness as an invitation to be closer than you

prefer, and this in turn may lead to their making emotional

demands on you that you nd dif cult to manage.

AT WORK You probably enjoy working in an environment where you can use your warmth and friendliness yet not be expected

to establish close ties. You may be skilled at making, but

AREAS OF

POSSIBLE

CHALLENGE

FOR YOU

You may feel comfortable with your scores and have no wish to change anything in your behavior. On the other hand, your results can be used to understand common

problems that might limit the effectiveness of your relationships or interfere with some of your other important needs. Check any items below that you wish to consider

for further attention and action:

not necessarily maintaining, personal contacts. Jobs that

It may be hard for you to make your real wishes clear

capitalize on your ability to put people at ease or charm them probably suit you well, while jobs that require main-

early on in a relationship.

Others may think that you are manipulative in one-toone relationships.

taining deeper or longer-term personal relationships are

probably not for you.

You may need to overcome the suspicion that when

AT YOUR BEST

other people demonstrate warmth to you, they are not sincere.

Operating at your best means not only honoring your own needs, but also altering your behavior when it is

The fear of being hurt if you develop real depth, loy-

appropriate. Some of the examples below illustrate being

alty, and long-term rapport may cause you to avoid close relationships.

true to the typical needs of someone in this score category.

Others illustrate ways to adjust behavior in order to oper-

ate optimally. Given your scores, you probably function best when you are able to do the following:

•

It is possible that your reluctance to seek mutual closeness is based on underlying doubts about how

likable you really are. •

Have relationships with people who enjoy your openness and warmth but who do not necessarily offer the

same familiarity to you

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AFFECTI0N

AFFECTION

Re ects• How close and warm you are with others

SCORES

• How close and warm you want others to be with you

HIGH EXPRESSED (7-9) MEDIUMWANTED (3-6)

IN

GENERAL

Your Affection results suggest that you enjoy a realistic amount of closenes in your relationships; however, your manner may imply that you want to develop closer rela-

Moderate the amount of warmth and closeness you show to others so that it better matches your own needs •

tionships than is really the case. You probably don't mind

making the rst move or openly sharing your feelings with others, yet you are apt to want only a moderate amount of support and warmth from them. People probably see

Use your social skills in a job or situation where your warmth and charm can assist you in making contacts quickly

Reserve your emotional energy for the circle of friends, family, and colleagues that you really care

you as very friendly, supportive, cooperative, open, and easy to con de in. They may be completely unaware that

about

you need less closeness than you indicate. You very possi-

Find environments where there is plenty of open com-

bly believe that others appreciate and expect a great deal

munication without too much emotional intensity

of empathy, reassurance, and consideration from you, so

Use discretion about how much you disclose to others

you respond to their needs with expressions of warmth.

•

While your personal responsiveness may be an asset in many cases, it can also be confusing or hurtful to others

AREAS OF

if you fail to follow up on your friendliness.

AT WORK You may enjoy working in an environment where there is

an casygoing, companionable atmosphere. You will prob-

ably want to use your abilities to put others at ease, to comfort them, or to inspire them with encouragement and praise. However, being personally involved with others on a frequent basis is not apt to appeal to you. People at

work may mistakenly think you want to extend your relationship with them into your personal life, or they may interpret your friendliness as an invitation to claim more of your time than you wish.

AT YOUR

BEST

POSSIBLE

CHALLENGE

FOR Y0U

You may feel comfortable with your scores and have no wish to change anything in your behavior. On the other hand, your results can be used to understand common

problems that might limit the effectiveness of your relationships or interfere with some of your other important needs. Check any items below that you wish to consider for further attention and action: •

It is possible that others think of you as manipulative

in your relationships and that your charm is only a

way of getting what you want. Because you appear so open and warm, others may seek your help and attention more than you like. You may feel that others are not always sincere when

they demonstrate warmth to you.

Operating at your best means not only honoring your own needs, but also altering your behavior when it is appropriate. Some of the examples below illustrate being

You may nd it dif cult to be clear in your own mind, and to make it clear to others, about how many close

true to the typical needs of someone in this score category.

relationships you can manage.

Others illustrate ways to adjust behavior in order to oper-

It may be hard for you to make time for solitude and re ection without causing offense to others.

ate optimally. Given your scores, you probably function best when you are able to do the following:

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How close and warm you want others to be with you

HIGH EXPRESSED (7-9) HIGH WANTED (7-9)

IN GENERAL Your Affection results suggest that you clearly enjoy a great deal of warmth and closeness in your one-to-one relationships. You are likely to have a genuine interest in others and to feel comfortable with a high degree of intimacy and self-disclosure early in a relationship. It probably gives you pleasure to encourage and please others, to do considerate things, to show your appreciation to them, and to have them return the same kind of behavior. You are likely to want plenty of attention in your close relationships and may be disappointed if you do not get it. Although you are apt to do everything you can to establish individual closeness, your need may fall short of fulllment because it is so great. Even so, your belief in a positive outcome is likely to prevail.

AT WORK You may prefer working in an environment where getting to know people and showing personal interest in them is valued-and be least comfortable in one where impersonality is the rule. You probably want to use your abilities to make others feel comfortable, welcome, or valuable.

You are likely to appreciate feedback, reassurance, support, and praise and may try to motivate others in the same way. Resolving con icts or encouraging others is apt to come easily to you.

AT YOUR

BEST

Operating at your best means not only honoring your own needs, but also altering your behavior when it is appropriate. Some of the examples below illustrate being true to the typical needs of someone in this score category. Others illustrate ways to adjust behavior in order to oper-

ate optimally. Given your scores, you probably function best when you are able to do the following: Work in an environment where closeness is accepted or even expected

Develop a wider range of emotional responses to others-including more impersonal kinds of behayior where it is appropriate

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• How close and warm you are with others

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Re ects-

SCORES

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AFFECTION

•

Show respect for those who are more private than you by being less emotional and by not discussing personal issues

Think twice before quickly disclosing your personal thoughts to others Get involved in work or other activities that focus on making people feel comfortable or welcome

Surround yourself with people who are comfortable giving and receiving warmth and care AREAS OF

POSSIBLE

CHALLENGE

FOR YOU

You may feel comfortable with your scores and have no wish to change anything in your behavior. On the other hand, your results can be used to understand common

problems that might limit the effectiveness of your relationships or interfere with some of your other important needs. Check any items below that you wish to consider for further attention and action: Many people may legitimately prefer less intimacy than

you display-and may nd your easy self-disclosure, your need for closeness, and your desire for frequent reassurance overwhelming. You may experience disappointment because the other

person in an important relationship cannot accept the intensity you need and offer.

You may nd it dif cult to maintain perspective on where the boundaries of professionalism are and to not cross these boundaries with inappropriate displays of closeness. You may need to be alert to the danger of smothering people and depriving them of the opportunities to be

self-suf cient. Overcoming some people's opinions that your warmth is not sincere may be dif cult for you.

Firob.

CPP Asia Paci c Pty Ltd, a wholly owned subsidiary of CPP, Inc. PO Box 810, Parkvlle, Vic 3052, AUST Tel +61 3 9342 1300 Fax +61 3 9349 2155 Web www.cppasiapaci c.com ASIA PACIFIC

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