Identity Card

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nmnTY

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DJMTY A MO«a BV F.M.ESHUUURV

GROVE PRESS, INC/NEW YORK

Copyright

©

1966 by F. M. Esfandiary

All Rights Reserved

Library of Congress Catalog Card Number: 66-23185 First Printing

Manufactured in the United

States of

America

This book was written in Teheran, Iran. The typescript was intercepted at the Teheran post office and confiscated. A second copy was hastily typed and sent abroad with the help of two Americans. I am grateful to the Iranian friend who, at great risk, twice undertook the typing of this manuscript, and to the two American friends.

to

For those who don't know the Middle East, mention that this is not a work of satire.

—

F.

it

may be

well

M. Esfandiary

i I

am a confused man. I am

what live

I

want. Sometimes

here in

accept

abroad.

it

my own

I tell

man.

all,

I

know

don't

myself, I say, look, I will

country, accept

once and for

Then

a restless

it

way

the

it is,

and forget about going

when

there are times

I tell myself,

I

you know, you are a stupid fool, why did you come back here, you don't belong here, you should go and

say,

live

abroad

—anywhere, away from

here.

Daryoush Aryana stretched out on stared at the rain that

window. Today

poured

his

bed again and

torrentially outside his

and was startled by his own voice, which was hoarse and heavy, because it was the first time that day he had spoken aloud. He had recently lapsed into the habit of talking is

a holiday, he said aloud,

aloud to himself, and although hearing his voice was reassuring to him, sometimes, as

noon, his

own

what he had

Today

is

voice startled him, as

just

heard was his

own

on

Imam?

I

know

it is

is it

quiet

this fore-

he were not sure voice.

a holiday, he repeated quietly. It

birthday of the third Imam, or fourth

if

own

is

the

the birthday of the

the birthday of one of the

Imams. Yesterday was the occasion of the death of 7

another Imam. All the shops and

ment

agencies were closed,

and the people

sat in their

and governthe radio had no music, offices

homes, or in the mosques,

dressed in black, weeping and tearing out their hair.

But today ing.

happy holiday, and everyone is celebratDownstairs, Mr. Barzeen and his family are celeis

a

brating too. It

was a dark, rainy day, the

sort of

him with gloom and made him want and

night, to sleep

the rain

sky. It

day he dreaded, particularly in

day

to look at

was the sort of

his

morning when the rain had

of a deep, merciful sleep, he

filled

to sleep all

and forget and not have

and the melancholy

Since early

day that

present plight. jostled

him out

had remained

in his

room, reading, resting, looking out of the window, thinking of faraway places, of sunny days, blue the quiet sea, a stroll by the quiet sea.

A

skies,

sudden out-

room dragged happy wanderings and made

burst of dance music in the adjacent

mind back from its him sit up in bed and listen. He got up quietly, went to

his

closely to the relatives

together.

the door to listen

more

music and the voices of the landlord's

and friends who were celebrating the holiday

Many

rooms and

of the relatives were downstairs in the

in the arcaded courtyard, playing cards

and

backgammon, exchanging family gossip, helping Mrs. Barzeen prepare the elaborate meal. Other guests had repaired to the

room next door

to take

advantage of

the gramophone, which although old and no longer

8

in fashion was

playing the old tangos and fox

Daryoush Aryana the

against

door,

and

usable, faithfully playing

still

sat

re-

trots.

on the

floor resting his

head

absorbing the merry voices and

He

sounds that came through the wood.

sat there a

long time.

The

smell of kebab

kitchen below

was hungry.

and rich sauces from the

made him suddenly remember

He

also

became aware,

the excitement in the next ing,

room was

all at

that he

once, that

rapidly diminish-

and the guests were gathering downstairs

feast.

summoned

Children were being

for the

to eat, people

were running back and forth fetching chairs and cushions, carrying the food to the table.

He

put on his clothes and raincoat, then quietly,

almost on tiptoe, went downstairs into the

through the back entrance. briskly

when

He

street,

began to walk away

the door of the courtyard opened and

the landlord's son, holding an umbrella over his head,

came

into the street. "Mr. Aryana,

my

father begs

you

come and have lunch with us." Aryana, moved by the invitation, smiled and walked back to the young man. "Mr. Barzeen is very kind; please tell him merci, tell him I am grateful."

to

Mr. Barzeen's daughter

also appeared, full of the

seriousness of adolescence. She sought the protection of her brother's umbrella

parents beg you to

and

said,

"Mr. Aryana,

come and have lunch with

us.

my

They you

said they are very, very sorry they didn't invite

9

sooner for today's lunch, but they were afraid that

because this

a

is

family gathering, you would be

bored."

Aryana nodded by way

of gratitude, but declined

the invitation, mindful that the presence of a stranger

would

surely diminish the spontaneity of an intimate

family gathering.

He nodded

again,

and submerging

part of his head in his raincoat, walked away, grateful to

have been remembered and invited, to have

been addressed by someone.

He had

not spoken with

anyone since the previous afternoon when, restless after several

had gone

to his

rain, to address

He would

he rest

have been

had now stopped him

a muleteer

if

He would

and thinking.

and

streets,

room, shut himself up, spent the

of the day reading grateful

hours of roaming the

tired

in the

him, ask for directions or for money.

have made a pretext of the occasion, invited

the muleteer to a long conversation, interested himself in the prices of donkeys

He went peered

arm

to

orders.

into a restaurant

and

of mules.

sat at a table.

A man

him from behind a curtain and waved a hairy indicate that he would come out soon to take Daryoush Aryana looked about him in the

at

empty restaurant and

He

and the eating habits

felt

conspicuous in the silence.

began to regret having stumbled into an empty

restaurant, but then,

remembering

day, reassured himself that all

ably empty. waiter,

10

"You

who was

that

it

was a

holi-

the restaurants were prob-

are the second customer today," the

also the

owner, said

as

he walked

to the

"We

table with a pitcher of water.

shouldn't have

opened today. The people have stayed home with their

and

families

the table

Aryana

He

friends."

and waited

set the pitcher of

water on

for the order.

"You wouldn't have

hesitated, then said,

a

hamburger here, would you?"

"A what,

agha?"

"It doesn't matter,

it

Aryana

doesn't matter,"

said,

smiling embarrassedly and waving his hand.

"Look agha,

if it is

the toilet you want, you'll find

it

in the back."

"You have kebab

"We have see,

of

lamb

let's see,

ate the

to look

.

have kebab of lamb, we have rice and sauce, we

we have kebab

we have anything you

He

." .

kebab in

we have

of chicken,

let's

desire."

silence,

now and

again turning

out of the window, or at the curtain behind

which the proprietor, the only other person in the restaurant,

had withdrawn.

street again, the rain

When

he went into the

had stopped and the sun, bright

and warm and reassuring, burst through the clouds and slowly erased the shadows and the darkness. Early in the morning he went to the Ministry of the Interior, expecting to obtain his papers

with.

He

forth-

walked through the long, dark corridor, read-

ing the signs on the

office doors.

He knocked and went

into an office that dealt with records.

behind a

and leave

large, inelegant

A

man,

sitting

desk looked up and nodded. 11

been told to come here for an identification

"I've

card/'

"Who told you this, agha?" "The Ministry of Foreign Affairs."

The man behind give

you?"

to

it

the desk frowned. "Didn't they

"They told me to go to There they told me to come

the Ministry of Justice. here.

I

came here about

days ago and was told to try the Police Depart-

five

ment. There they told

down,

"Please

sit

He

down and

sat

me

call

I'll

come back here."

to

you."

man

waited. This

is

sympathetic,

me get my papers and get my the man behind

he thought, he will help leave immediately.

I'll

I'll

—

the

desk opened a drawer, took out a newspaper, glanced at

it,

then

noticed

made

—

a telephone

I'm at the

yes,

office

call.

—

"Look

I just

dear,

just

I

noticed here in

the newspaper that there will be a sale at the Ferdausi store, this will

No

those chairs.

I

tomorrow night be a good time to buy

haven't forgotten, you'll just have

them and explain that something very imporhas come up and we'll be late. Do you need any-

to call

tant

thing else?

.

.

.

find eggplant

won't be

late.

Squash

is still

and tomatoes

May

I

expensive,

I'll

see

if

I

can

—do you need tomatoes?

be sacrificed for you."

When

I

he

put down the telephone receiver, he glanced at the newspaper again, then looking up, said, "What can I

do

for you?"

"As

I

"Oh, 12

told you, I have ..." yes, I

remember, but to

tell

you the

truth, I

don't

know anything about

identification cards,

can send you to someone here

but

I

you.

Go

Mr. Paknour,

tell

who can help

upstairs to the third floor

and ask

him Rasheen

think he will have to write a

sent you.

I

for

Bureau of Civil Registration, requesting that they issue an identification card for you." Aryana went upstairs to Mr. Paknour and explained what he wanted. Mr. Paknour said that as a rule, they didn't write letters to the Bureau of Civil Registration letter to the

to

make such requests.

." "But Mr. Rasheen downstairs said that Lowering his voice to a confiding whisper, Mr. Paknour said, "Tell me, agha, are you a friend of Mr. Rasheen? You see, he and I are also close friends and it .

be

will

." .

.

"I just

met Mr. Rasheen."

"... an

got

.

honor for

up and

still

me

to serve

one of

his friends."

whispering, added, "As

told

I

He

you we

don't usually write such letters to the Bureau of Civil Registration, but any friend of Mr.

own

friend,

and

I'll

Rasheen

be honored to write

is

like

my

this letter for

you."

"I'm very grateful, Mr. Paknour, but that I

am

not a friend of Mr. Rasheen,

I

must explain

I just

..."

"You must be a friend or relative, otherwise he would not have told you to come here and have us write a letter. But you needn't worry, Mr. Aryana, this will stay

between

us.

What

is

your

first

name?"

"Daryoush."

"Very

well, wait here please,

I'll

have a

letter

ready 13

you in a few minutes." He went into an adjoining room and was back before long with a typewritten letter. "This is all you need, Mr. Aryana, we will send it directly to the Bureau of Civil Registration." "When will you send it?" for

"Immediately.

"Thank

We will send it today."

you, thank you, then

I'll

go there tomor-

row."

"What wait

till

will

you do there tomorrow?

I suggest

you

this letter gets there."

"Won't

it

get there

"It will take about

by tomorrow?" two weeks.

I

suggest you go there ."

and see if "Twenty days?" Aryana echoed, getting up. "Why twenty days? I can't wait that long. I must leave the in about ten, twenty days

.

.

country in a few days." "It always takes ten, twenty days,

sometimes even

more."

"But

I

Isn't the

don't understand,

Bureau

why

does

it

take that long?

of Civil Registration here in

Te-

heran?"

"Yes

it is

here in the city," Mr. Paknour

said, also

is on, let me see, it is on Sepah Avenue." "But that is the next street." Leaning over, Mr. Paknour whispered, "Well, you know how it is, you can't rush these things." "But Mr. Paknour, I must leave the country. I have

getting up. "It

already spent a

week going from one ministry

to an-

other."

"You seem 14

to

be new to

all this,

Mr. Aryana. But

because you say you are in a hurry to get your identification card, I will

you, quite confidentially of

tell

what you can do. Take

course,

this letter, in person, to

the Bureau of Civil Registration and ask to see his

name

—

He

is

name, he has a nice name right, Mr. Engineer Janan.

I've forgotten his

—Engineer Janan— you.

that's

in charge of all this

Of

—what's

course,

and can

you understand

you and me. Don't say that

this

I told

issue the card for is

you

strictly

between

to take this letter

there in person, or that I told you to see Mr. Engineer

Janan."

Daryoush Aryana took the the Interior

and walked

tration. In the

letter, left

to the

the Ministry of

Bureau of

Civil Regis-

long dark corridor he stopped one of

the attendants and asked where he could find Mr.

Janan. "You

mean Mr. Engineer Janan,"

the attendant

corrected.

"Yes, I'm sorry, Mr. Engineer Janan."

"Go

upstairs, agha, his

room

the second door

is

on

the left."

Aryana hurried

upstairs, knocked on the second door and went in. He gave the letter to Mr. Engineer Janan and waited in silence as the latter took the

on the

left

paper out of the envelope and read the few

beg you to

sit

down, Mr. Aryana.

lines.

"I

here you wish what we call an

It says

to apply for identification papers

—

identity card."

"That's right."

"What, may

I ask,

happened

to

your identity card?"

**I lost it."

15

repeated, nod-

"You lost it," Mr. Engineer Janan ding. "Where was it issued, agha?" "It

was issued here in Teheran."

"What it

type of an identity card was

the old, notebook kind, or was

know

"I don't really

it

it? I

mean, was

the newer form?"

the difference,

I

just

know

it

was an ordinary identity card, you know, the kind everybody

my

my full name, my parents' names, my how do you say—my, as they

had

has. It

place of birth,

—

say in English, nationality,

"And you say you "Yes,

my I

I lost it.

and

all

the rest."

lost it."

When

I

went abroad years

identity card with me, but lost

it

have searched very carefully for

where

might have

I

left

it,

but I've

during

ago, I took

my

travels.

tried to think

it,

still

not found

it."

"Yes, people travel a lot these days, they lose or mis-

place their records and papers, they

do our best to help them.

when people kept

It is

up

a hurry

and

"Yes, tity

it

lost

says here in this letter that

anything.

you are in

." .

.

want

I

and we

in their trunks

home, and never went anywhere, never

Well, anyway,

to us

and other im-

their identity cards

portant documents securely locked at

come

not as in the old days

to

go abroad again but

I

need an iden-

card to be able to leave the country."

"That's right, you need your identity card to get a passport

and an

exit permit.

Well

let's

see

now, what

was the number of your identity card?"

know the number." "You don't know the number," Mr. Engineer Janan "I don't

16

said,

frowning. "But you must

your identity card.

you don't

If

know the number of know it by heart, look

your passport."

in

"They took away my passport at the airport when I arrived. They said they take away everybody's passport at the airport."

"Yes,

on

But don't you have a driver's license document that has your identity number

I forgot.

or some other it?"

"My

and the few documents I have foreign and don't have my identity

driver's license

at home are all number on them."

"Very

father here,

and please

"My father is "Then

tell

him

to

." .

.

dead."

please bring your mother."

"She passed away I

have to bring your

well, then, agha, you'll

too.

My

parents passed away

when

was abroad."

"May God drown them have any brothers and "I

had

hoped

a sister,

but

don't

know where

she

my

have looked

arrival

I

and asked people who might know not found her yet." for her

Do you

sisters?" I

and since

to find her

His compassion.

in

her,

is.

I

had

but I've

we could only find a record of your identity card, we could issue a new one immediately. This way it is a little difficult. But we will find a way." Mr. Engineer Janan rubbed his chin a while, then said, "Do you know where you were born?" "If

"Yes, of course,

I

was born here in Teheran." 17

"Do you know what part of the city?" "Near the south side of Teheran." "You mean in the poor section?" "Near that section. My parents were of modest means. They were plain, humble people." Mr. Engineer Janan stared at him quizzically. "Mr. Aryana, you don't look like a man of ordinary background. There is a refinement about you that bespeaks an altogether different upbringing. Are you sure your information

am

"I

is

correct?"

very sure, Mr. Janan,

Janan. We lived bazaar.

Of

as

I

mean, Mr. Engineer

I

my

was fourteen,

alleys

near the

was a boy that section of the

poor and deteriorated

lived there with until

I

one of those narrow

when

course,

was not

city

in

as

it is

today. I

parents and went to school there fifteen years old."

"Do you know when you were born, or better still, do you know when your identity card was issued?" "It I

was issued around

—

let

me

think

—

it

was issued,

think around 1921."

"What?" "Well, you see

now

1964, so

it

I

am

must

forty-three years old,

and

this is

." .

.

"Agha,

this is not 1964," Mr. Engineer Janan interposed with evident displeasure. "I don't know where you have come from, but here in our country the year is

1343." "I didn't

mean

"Forgive

me

forgive

18

me

." Mr. Janan, I just interrupting you again, Mr. Aryana,

to offend you,

for

for speaking bluntly,

.

.

but you gentlemen go

away from your homeland, you go away to other countries and forget all your traditions and customs, forget that you are Iranians and suddenly behave as foreigners/

'

"I haven't forgotten that

I

am Iranian."

How

"Perhaps you are not Iranian, agha. sure you

are Iranian?

Old

City, or near the

yet there

is

You

can we be

say you were born in the Old

City,

and were brought up

no evidence right now

that

there,

what you

say

is

correct/

"Of course

correct

it is

"But how can we be tell

you the

card,

.

sure,

truth, I can't tell

come from.

really

." .

Besides,

you don't know

its

how can we prove it? To who you are or where you

you don't have an identity

number,

all

your documents

and you say you have no parents, no one to come forward and say, yes this is our son, we know this man, this gentleman, he was born in such and such a are foreign,

place, at such

and such a time, he

is

Iranian, he

is

Mos-

lem." "I have been

." .

.

know what

"Forgive me, but you don't even are in,

Let

year

we

you don't even think in terms of our calendar.

me

tell

you, Mr. Aryana, for you the year

1964 or 1967 or whatever 1343 and

we

of our traditions

"Well, you "Yes,

proud

are

of

it is,

may be

but for us the year

is

our calendar, we are proud

." .

.

see, I

have been away

.

.

/'

you have been away and now you want

to

19

go '

away

You

again.

arrived here yesterday and want to

leave tomorrow." "I arrived here about three weeks ago."

"You

arrived here hardly three weeks ago and

ready you are in a hurry to leave. rude, but to

tell

you the

truth,

I

I

don't

mean

al-

to be

don't understand

why

you came back at all." "I came here to stay three, four weeks or maybe longer. I think I came back to see Iran and to find some relatives or an old schoolmate or two. I don't know, I just I

wanted

must

to

leave,

I

come back. I had to come back. But now must leave immediately."

Shrugging his shoulders, Mr. Engineer Janan "I don't understand, I really don't

Perhaps

it's

identity card,

not

my

business.

you must write a

know what

Anyway,

to say.

to get

letter to this

lost

your

Bureau,

the Bureau of Civil Registration, explaining that

have

said,

your identity card and that you would

you

like to

new one. Mention in your letter that you know your identity card number, that it was

apply for a don't

issued here in Teheran,

Was issued."

20

and give the date you think

it

2 The

next day Aryana took his letter to Mr. Engineer

Janan. "Take

Aryana took

to the

it,

room next

to

register it."

his letter downstairs to

wrote a number on

it,

now

and have Mr. Bastan

the entrance,

read

downstairs

it

Mr. Bastan who

then entered the

number

into the registration book. "Please take this letter up-

Mr. Doctor Goljou and have him sign

stairs to

Aryana went Goljou,

who

upstairs, gave his letter to

read

it,

then signed

it.

it."

Mr. Doctor

"Mr. Aryana, your

must be stamped and approved. Take it upstairs and Mr. Souna, whose room is opposite the stairway as you go up, will take care of it for you." Aryana went upstairs to the third floor, gave his letter

to the third floor

letter to

Mr. Souna, who read

it,

then

said, "Please sign

your application here and here." "I have already signed

"You must

sign

it

it."

again. Please sign

it

here and here

and here." Mr. Souna turned over the paper and "Please sign

it

said,

here too."

Aryana signed his letter as he was told, then gave it to Mr. Souna, who reread the letter, stamped and signed

it.

"Your

letter

is all

taken care of now. Please

pay two tomans for the stamps." 21

"Stamps?"

"These stamps

I

have pasted near your signature cost

two tomans." Aryana paid the two tomans and Mr. Souna said, "Please take your letter to Mr. Doctor Shayan, have

him

verify our approval

and sign

it.

His room

is

in the

building across the courtyard on the second floor."

Aryana hurried downstairs, then hurried to the building across the courtyard, climbed the stairs to the second floor and found Mr. Doctor Shayan's office. He knocked and went in. He gave his letter to Mr. Doctor Shayan, who read it, wrote a few words at the bottom and signed

of the letter,

"Where do I go now "That

One

I

it.

to receive

my identity card?"

don't know. I have nothing to do with

of the gentlemen here

must

it.

write a letter issuing

an order that a new identity card be prepared for you."

"Won't you kindly give this order?" "I can't do that, Mr. Aryana. I must have orders from above." "But Mr. Doctor Shayan, several of you gentlemen have seen my application, you have all approved it, signed

." it

.

.

"That doesn't mean anything, Mr. Aryana. We must have orders from above. You will have to speak with one of my superiors. Speak with Mr. Firouz, he has the authority to instruct the Bureau to issue an identity card for you." "Is this so

"It

22

is

complique?"

not complique at

all,

Mr. Aryana. These are the

usual procedures/'

He

glanced at his watch and added,

you come and see Excellency Firouz tomorrow. In the meantime I will send your letter to Mr. Bastan at the registration office. When you come in tomorrow, stop at Mr. Bastan's "It

is

closing time now, I suggest

and he will direct you from there.' Aryana went out and slowly walked in the direction of his room. The streets were crowded as people huroffice first

ried

home

for

lunch and the afternoon nap.

The

shop-

keepers and merchants would go back in the evening

and government employees, working hours had finished and they would spend the rest of the day with their families and to trade, but for the others, office workers

friends.

Aryana crossed the

street to

walk in the shade; he

was pleased that his application had been approved and was confident that in a day or two he would have his

me money

buy food. I'm hungry. Please give me some money." Aryana turned around and, seeing a little boy following him, stopped and papers. "Give

to

automatically his hands searched in his pockets.

The

and disheveled, retreated a few steps then timidly stretched out his hand again. "Please

beggar boy,

frail

agha, I'm hungry, give

me something."

Aryana took a bill from his pocket, motioned to the boy to come and take it. But the boy stood staring in disbelief at the five-toman bill. "Is this all for me?" he asked. Aryana nodded, whereupon the boy took the money, held it securely in both hands, leaped about exuberantly and was soon lost in the crowd. 23

Aryana shook

his

head and smiled but then remem-

bering he was out on the street transferred his quiet celebration to the privacy of his mind. that he was needed.

He

stopped him on the

street.

beggar

as

much

as the

He was

pleased

was pleased that someone had

He

felt that

he needed the

beggar needed him.

It is

good to

be needed, he thought.

It

live in these parts of the

world where there are so many

who

are destitute

He

is,

in a sad way, flattering to

and come up

to

you

to

beg for help.

suddenly remembered that in his childhood he

was afraid of beggars, and on the way to school he and

away when a cripple or a blind beggar hobbled after them asking for help. He smiled as he remembered that his mother, who had first made him afraid of beggars, had later tried to help him outgrow this fear. Don't be afraid, she always said, God

his friends often ran

loves the poor.

Remembering

his

mother made him

sigh.

Before long other beggars were following

him

—

young woman holding an infant at her bared breast, an old man, three or four barefoot children. It occurred to him that the little boy had probably run back and alerted these others. The young woman moved closer, and exposing more of her pendulous breast, moaned, "Mossio, for the love of God, give me something, my child

is

hungry."

"I will give

you money, but why do you

am an Iranian, like you." The woman, taken aback, quickly

monsieur,

call

me

I

covered part of

her breast again and retreated a step or two. "Agha,

24

a fellow-Moslem.

please help disciple

Abbas give something

For the love of the

for this child."

Aryana gave the woman a ten-toman tributed smaller sums

among

and disBut as he

bill

the others.

walked away he was no longer cheerful. God, what

woman were my

that beggar girl

mother, what

Since his arrival, the widespread poverty

anything

else

his spirits.

much more than

alms, gave

He knew

had deflated

is

my

sister.

more than always gave

usually given beggars.

that all he gave did not really help them, did

not alter their misery, but he

Next

He

that little

if

with the sad eyes and dirty face were

if

still

gave and gave.

day, early in the morning, he

went

Bureau of Civil Registration and stopped

He

tan's office.

explained

at

to the

Mr. Bas-

why he had come and Mr.

Bastan, having listened carefully, shook his head and

'Tm

said,

letter

sorry

Mr. Aryana, no one has sent

or spoken to

me

me about your application."

"I was at Mr. Doctor Shayan's office yesterday said

he would send

take

it

to

your

my

Mr. Firouz.

letter to

He

and he

you and you would

advised

me

to stop

here

today before going upstairs."

Mr. Bastan threw out

his

arms and swore that he had

not received any letters or instructions concerning Mr.

Aryana.

come

"A

in today, but

look again." piled it is

lot of letters

on

I

He went

his table

and documents have already

haven't seen yours. Here,

through

and searched

all

I will

the papers that were

in his top drawer.

"No,

not here, absolutely not, you can be sure of that."

25

what could

"I don't understand, Mr. Bastan, then

have happened to

my application?"

"I don't know, I really don't know. tion

can make

I

.

.

."

shook hands and "I just "I

came

am honored.

minute

Please

Mr. Bastan rang a

came

in,

said,

man came and the two men

to see

down."

how you

down.

sit

a

I'll tell

are."

him

to bring

and when an attendant "Bring two teas. Mr. Aryana, will you

tea."

he

to his feet

kissed. "Please sit

for a

only sugges-

The door opened and

Mr. Bastan jumped

in.

The

bell

have tea?" ."

must "Please have tea, you must have "No, thank you,

I

.

.

tea.

Bring three

teas."

"So Dara, I'm delighted

to see you."

"Yes, yes, I'm very delighted to see you," Dara Bas-

tan said, patting his friend on the lap. "I've really

missed you.

We don't get to see each other frequently." we must arrange to meet more often. this way two close friends not seeing

"That's right, It's

not right

—

each other." "Yes,

The on a

we must try

to see

." .

.

attendant came in carrying three glasses of tea

tray. "Please

have

tea,

Mr. Aryana," Dara Bastan

said.

"Mr. Bastan, I'm in a hurry

"Why hurry,

." .

.

Mr. Aryana, here,

this glass

is

"So Dara, I'm really delighted to see you." "Yes, I'm very, very delighted to see you."

"So what 26

is

happening?"

for you."

"The news happen

is all

with you.

I

don't

know what

will

They say Leader AlNobody seems to want his

this unrest persists.

if

vand's position

is

very shaky.

regime/'

"Everybody knows that their support, his regime

knows

He

body.

with is

and

this

is

if

the Americans withdrew

would not

last

one week.

He

trying desperately to placate every-

has packed the government and parliament

illiterate grocers, tailors, wrestlers.

He

thinks this

a very democratic gesture. But what can an illiterate

grocer or wrestler teach the people?

Our

country

is

full

of educated people, they should be the guides, but

most of them don't want to have anything to do with this

regime."

"If

we only had a

"Well, last

if

these

uprising,

revolutionary regime ..."

Americans hadn't interfered in the

we would now have

a revolutionary

regime, a republic."

"Why are these Americans this way? I liked them so much at one time." "We all liked them. Don't you remember after the Second War we all wanted to run away and go to America?" "I don't understand.

Aryana,

I

who had been

just don't

understand

sitting impatiently,

.

.

."

wonder-

ing what had happened to his application, suddenly got up. Mr. Bastan's friend also got to leave. "Please convey see

my

up and

said he

salaam to your wife.

had

I will

you on Friday." 27

When

he

Dara Bastan

left,

down,

said, "Please sit

Mr. Aryana. Will you have another tea?"

"No, thank you, I'm in a hurry." "Please

saw

just

sit

is

down Mr.

Doctor. This gentleman you

an old friend. Before

each other frequently, but

I

was married, we saw

now we

only see each other

once or twice a week."

"Mr. Bastan, what has happened

"Oh!

Yes,

know what

your application

my application?"

to

—the

truth

is,

I

don't

has happened to your application, Mr.

Aryana. Are you sure Mr. Doctor Shayan told you yesterday that he would send "Yes,

I

am

sure.

He

said

it

me?"

to

he would send

to you,

it

and

come here to your office this morning." Mr. Bastan called up Doctor Shayan's office, but had

asked that

I

no response. "Mr. Doctor Shayan

we

not

Let

in.

will send the attendant to look for it."

bell

to

is

and when the attendant came

in, said,

Mr. Doctor Shayan's room and see

if

He

me

see,

rang a

"Look, go

you can find

the application of Excellency Mr. Aryana on his table. If

you don't find

where

The

it

there, see

if

Mr. Azarkeesh knows

it is."

attendant

bowed and went out

of the room.

He

said that he

came back about fifteen minutes later and had not found the application. When he left Mr. tan said, "It

is

probably

lost

or has been misplaced.

Well, never mind, never mind,

sit

here and write an-

other one."

"Another one? But 28

I

Bas-

wrote one yesterday."

"What's the difference, Mr. Doctor, write another one."

"But you gentlemen

—by the way, I'm not a doctor

—you gentlemen registered the other one, signed and approved

it.

you remember,

If

day and you registered "Yes,

yes,

I

I

brought

it

here yester-

it."

remember your

application,

but

it

and we will register give you some paper and

doesn't matter, write another one

and sign

it

for you. Here,

I'll

you can use any of these pens." letter to the Bureau of handed it to Mr. Bastan who read it, wrote a number on it, then entered this number into the registration book. Aryana took his letter to the second floor where Doctor Goljou signed it, then to the third floor where Mr. Souna stamped and signed it. "Weren't you here yesterday with a similar applica-

Aryana addressed another

Civil Registration,

tion?"

Aryana nodded and Mr. Souna happened to it?"

"They

"Then what

lost it."

Mr. Souna shook I

said,

his

head and

said,

"How much

did

charge you yesterday for the stamps?"

"Two tomans." "Very

well, then, today I will only charge

toman for the stamps." "Mr. Souna, I will pay what

is

you one

right."

"Just pay one toman, that will do. I want to be

but

fair,

between you and me." Aryana paid the one toman, then went downstairs, let this stay

29

hurried to the building across the courtyard and stairs to the second floor. He knocked and went into Mr. Doctor Shayan's office. Two gentlemen, sitting behind desks, looked up, and Aryana said that he had come to see Mr. Doctor Shayan. "He hasn't

climbed the

come

in today," the

gentleman

sitting closer to the

door replied.

"When do you

expect him?" Aryana said, enor-

mously disappointed. "I don't think he will

some shopping

to

come

in today. I think

he has

do for his house."

"I have an application here that

must be approved

and signed."

remember you from

"Yes, I

to wait until

But you have Mr. Doctor Shayan comes back to the yesterday.

probably tomorrow, day after tomorrow."

office,

"Will you please

tell

me who

takes care of his

work

during his absence."

"No one

takes care of his work.

When

he

is

here he

own work." "Then who will sign my application now?"

takes care of his

"No one

can sign your application now. Mr. Doctor

Shayan is the only one who can sign you wait until tomorrow."

He

left

home.

I

difficult,

I

I suggest,

never thought getting an identity card was so

he whispered to himself.

Where could

had never

I

have

traveled, never

How

did

left it?

I lose

my

Sometimes

I

gone anywhere, but

stayed here from the beginning, like so

30

agha,

the room, the building, and slowly walked

identity card?

wish

it.

many

others.

I

need

to talk with someone, right

looking around.

I

need

me and with whom

I

to

can

now, he muttered,

be with someone sit

and

talk

who knows

about things that

and informal and have nothing to do with business and offices and regulations. I wish, right now, as I am walking here, someone, an old friend, a longlost relative, an acquaintance, anyone who knows me, are private

would shout my name across the street, Daryoush, Daryoush, and come over and invite me to his home to have lunch with his mother and father and sister and brother and uncles. Just to sit somewhere, in a home, an enclosed garden that belongs to someone and is not public, eat food that has been prepared by a mother, a wife or a sister, sit and listen to people discuss family problems, listen to them talk about their grandmothers and grandfathers and relatives and their own childhood.

He went

to his

room and

spent the rest of the day

reading.

In the morning he went back to the Bureau of Civil Registration, but Mr. Doctor Shayan in.

one

He

and waited.

sat in the office

else take his place

had

Why

still

not come

doesn't some-

during his absence, he thought,

two men who sat idly at someone else sign this paper?

casting a furtive glance at the their desks.

What

if

Why

can't

he doesn't come back today and tomorrow and

next week and the week after?

went out of the room. forth,

back and forth.

He

arose suddenly

He paced the corridor, He waited all morning.

and

back and 31

A He

few minutes before noon, Doctor Shayan arrived.

was surprised that the

first

application had disap-

peared and swore that he had sent to

Mr. Bastan. "To

tell

you the

careful with these applications pass

them on

it

that very

truth, I

same day

always very

and documents, and

just as soon as they reach

took Aryana's arm and led

am

my

He

table."

him toward

room.

his

"Don't worry, Mr. Aryana, don't worry, come into

room

right

now and

immediately sign your

I'll

I

my

new

application."

They went

into the

room and Doctor Shayan,

with-

out taking the time to read the application, wrote a few

words at the bottom of the page, and signed

"You

at his watch,

he

lency Firouz.

Go right now

as

said,

still

it.

Glancing

have time to see Excel-

to his

room and just

he gives the order, the Bureau will

issue

as

soon

an identity

card for you."

Aryana went downstairs, walked rapidly across the courtyard and climbed the stairs to the third floor. An attendant lingering in the corridor directed him to Mr. Firouz's room,

and he went

shook hands and invited

oush Aryana

in.

Mr. Firouz got up,

his visitor to sit

sat in silence as

down. Dary-

Mr. Firouz read, then

re-

which consisted of Aryana's brief application, Doctor Goljou's comments at the bottom of the page, Mr. Souna's paragraph of approval, Doctor Shayan 's few words of approval, and read the contents of the

letter,

numerous signatures on both "Where did you lose your ana?"

32

sides of the paper.

identity card,

Mr. Ary-

"I don't know.

I lost it

during

my travels."

"Where do you live now?" Aryana hesitated as he turned the question over in his

mind.

"Do you "No,

I

live

here in Teheran?"

don't live here."

"Then where do you where your home is

in Shiraz then

is,

That's

home

You if,

better that

it is

plication there, or,

live?

because,

we must know home

us say, your

you submit your ap-

you want we

if

see,

let

will send

why we must know where you

live,

it

there.

where your

is."

"I don't have a

home."

"You don't have

home?" Mr. Firouz said, frowning. "How can you not have a home? Everyone has a home. You say you don't live in Teheran, then where do you live, Esfahan, Shiraz, Tabriz, where?" "I haven't lived anywhere long enough to say I have a home. I have been traveling, mostly abroad." "You mean you just travel? This is very interesting." He paused and thought a moment. "Forgive me for being inquisitive, but don't you get tired of traveling?" I like this man, Aryana thought, smiling. "Yes, I

am

a

tired of traveling, I

tired of

is

making

a

am very tired. What I am really

home then breaking

it

up and mov-

ing elsewhere."

Mr. Firouz nodded. "Yes, be

tiring.

may

I

You

say you've

I

should think that would

been traveling abroad, where

ask have you traveled?"

Aryana continued

to smile, pleased that

someone 33

had taken an

teen years old,

my

uncle,

age to Mecca, took

me

in Beirut with

joyed

my

"When I was about fourwho was going on a pilgrim-

interest in him.

me

with him and on the way

some of

stay in Beirut

his

—everything seemed

and strange and, how do you

made quick

me

stay in Beirut.

I

en-

—and

When my

home from Mecca,

I

different

say, inter essant

friends with the Arabs.

returned on his way to let

Lebanese friends,

left

I

uncle

begged him

I'm sure the dread of going

my family home in Teheran had something to do with my intense desire to stay abroad. Anyway, my uncle agreed to let me stay in back to the limitations of

Beirut.

was entered in a French school, then was

I

transferred to an

Arab

school,

and

later

continued

my

studies in an English school. I stayed in Beirut several

and when the war broke out, my parents and uncle and everybody in Teheran urged me to come back; but I had had a taste of freedom and was not will-

years

ing to give

it

up/*

Aryana paused to catch his breath and Mr. Firouz sat back and said, "Then you were a young boy when you left

your home."

"Yes,

I

was only fourteen,

fifteen,

I'm not sure."

"Did you come back when the war broke out?" "One of my friends in Beirut maneuvered himself a job on a ship bound for America and helped me get on it too. I lived in America several years. I worked and studied and traveled and learned to take care of myself.

My

bombarded me with letters, come back. I wanted to come back but I

parents and family

begging that 34

I

didn't. I told myself that first I

When I

I

finished

didn't have the

my studies at the

I

my studies.

university, I said that

that

to

it

was wisest to wait

till

the un-

my country had subsided. You may not believe it,

rest in

but

to finish

come back. When I had the needed more money and when I had

money

money I said that I more money, I said

my

had

wanted

to

come

back,

I

wanted

come and

to

that I was afraid. I

was afraid that

home and homeland, even

if I

for a brief

see

know now

parents and family and country, but I

came back to my visit, I would be

trapped there and would not be able to get out again." "

"You must have had an unusual family

"My

family was not at

unusual.

all

It

was an ordi-

nary family, like other Iranian families." "Forgive

me for interrupting you."

"Well anyway, I lived in America many years, then went to Europe. I lived in Paris, three, four years, then, suddenly

—or maybe

it

wasn't suddenly

—about three

came back." "What made you come back?" Aryana frowned and looked out of the window.

weeks ago,

"I

am

I

sorry, I shouldn't

don't want to talk about "I

want

to talk

be

officious,

perhaps you

it."

about

it,"

Aryana

said,

turning to

look at Mr. Firouz. "I'm grateful that you have asked

me

these questions

here, I haven't

You

see, I

When

and are

had the opportunity

came back because

you are not ready

to

my

interested. Since

I just

arrival

to speak this way.

had

to

come

back.

go back to your home and

homeland, nothing, neither the desire

to see

your fam35

and friends, nor the prospect of prestigious positions, nor anything, can induce you to go back. But when finally you are ready to go back, nothing, nothing ily

at

can hold you."

all,

ing, "Unfortunately,

you are too

finally

He it

happens sometimes, that when

ready and you go back,

it is,

in a way,

because the ones you wanted to see and the

late,

situations

you hungered

Mr. Firouz nodded. tion

cleared his throat before add-

and

said, "I

gladly sign

it

for are all gone."

He

glanced again at the applica-

have no objection to

this

and

will

for you. Please bring six small photo-

graphs of yourself and two certified

letters of introduc-

tion."

Aryana brought out an envelope from his pocket and handed it to Mr. Firouz, "I had been told about this and have them ready. Here are six photographs and two certified letters of introduction. One is from Mr. Barzeen, at whose house I have rented a room, and the other

is

from a gentleman who has known

me

several

years."

Mr. Firouz read the two

letters of

introduction and

took a quick look at the photographs. "This

is

fine.

you need. Now take these to Mr. Doctor Shayan and have him write a letter instructing this Bureau to issue an identity card for you." "Did you say Mr. Doctor Shayan?"

This

is all

"Yes, yes, Mr. Doctor Shayan. If he writes such a ter for

you the Bureau

will immediately issue

let-

your

identity card."

"But 36

I

have already spoken with Mr. Doctor Shayan.

He

he doesn't have the authority to give such an order. He said he must have orders from above and told me to see you because you have the authority to said

Bureau

direct the

to issue

my identity card."

do your application and

"I don't have the authority to

can only sign I will

sign

right now."

it

signed the application I

He

this,

Mr. Aryana.

I will

gladly do

I

it.

picked up a pen and

on both sides of the page. "Here,

am very glad to be of service." "But where will I get my identity card?" "That

one of

cannot

I

my

tell

you, Mr. Aryana.

superiors about

you, because for one thing

it.

would

I

do

like to

you the give such an order.

one from above gives the order,

see

for

it

obvious that you are a

it is

very refined gentleman. But to don't have the authority to

You must

I

truth, I

tell

If

promise that

I

some-

myself

immediately have the Bureau issue your identity

will

card." "I don't understand,"

"Everyone "Forgive

I see

me

sends

Aryana

me

said shaking his head, ."

to the next one.

for interrupting you,

but

if

.

Mr. Doctor

Shayan doesn't want to give the order, then

you who it

stay

to see

.

I

will tell

—

of course, don't say that I told you, let

between you and me." Lowering

whisper he

said,

Excellency

is

"Go and

his voice to a

His

see Excellency Sepenta.

a very educated

man,

like yourself,

and

in deference to a fellow scholar, will, without hesitation, see,

order the Bureau to issue your identity card.

he

is

the deputy chief of this whole place

word from him

You

and one

will take care of the matter."

37

Aryana picked up and

He

letters of

his application, the

photographs

introduction and went out of the room.

walked to the end of the corridor and asked an

at-

tendant sitting by a door where Mr. Sepenta's room was.

The

which he

attendant got sat, said,

up and

"This

is

the

indicating the door by

room

of His Excellency

Mr. Sepenta. But he has a committee meeting right

now."

"Do you know when his meeting will finish?" The attendant stared at him, slowly shook his head and

said, "It

38

is

difficult to say,

agha."

5 He went and

lay

to his

room, took

down on

the floor.

and trousers, He had gone to his room off his shirt

only to change clothes before going out to a restaurant

midday meal, but he found that his tired body and spirit were not willing to venture out again, not immediately. But if he was too tired to go out and eat, he was also too hungry and restless to fall asleep. He remained on the carpeted floor, thinking of his identity card, thinking how happy he would be if he received it and left forthwith. He often interrupted his thoughts for the

to listen to the people

who were

Mr. Barzeen's living room.

It

gathered downstairs in

always pleased

him when

somewhere to eat and talk and play, and he told himself that if Mr. Barzeen extended an invitation to him now, he would gratefully accept and go downstairs. friends or relatives assembled

He went

window and stood there a long time, up the voices and sounds of the party. I shouldn't have rented a room here, he told himself. All day I can hear them laughing, quarreling, entertaining; sometimes at night, I can even hear them making love. I shouldn't rent rooms in other people's to the

straining to pick

39

homes.

I

always do

muttering,

country I

don't

here

and

I

I

I

this.

He

looked about his room

never thought that even here in

would

way,

live this

know why

I

I

mean

in a rented

thought that when

would once again

live in a

my own

I

room.

came back

home with

relatives

others.

He

looked out of the window at the ungainly sight

of barren stretches of land,

unpaved

streets,

houses

tall

and short, modern and old, standing incompatibly next to one another. In the distance were the Alborz mountains, solid and serene, patched in parts with snow good sight for the eyes to contemplate after their unhappy wanderings. His mind journeyed again as he

—

many

thought of the

rented rooms and apartments

where he had lived and made his home and broken his home, only to move and make another home, and in time, break another home. Rooms overlooking crowded streets, rooms opening to dingy, forgotten backyards, rooms commanding views of mountains and lakes and forests and the sea. He liked the sea, and liked his homes that overlooked the sea. He smiled and shook his head as he remembered with particular fondness southern California, where years before he lived in a large apartment overlooking

the Pacific Ocean. Living in that apartment he always felt

he had his back to the world.

hours on his terrace looking out

beyond which,

for him,

was

He

at the limitless sea,

eternity.

America and Europe and the Middle

happy 40

there, his

often sat for long

Behind him was East,

back to the world, to the

and he was

past.

Then within

gradually, imperceptibly, changes took place

him and he was no longer

willing or able to

He slowly turned around to himself. He shed his shell, moved

have his back to the world. face

the world,

life,

into the city, then inched his

and

Coast, then to Paris, to his

way

to the

it

ran back

finally, years later,

homeland. In going back he had

around, and

busy East

now

occurred to him

fully

turned

that his return

home, however disappointing in ways, was nevertheless necessary.

Now he was ready

to

to turn his back to the

go out again, not

world and to

as before,

and cultivate

roots.

again, or settle in

Perhaps he would

one of the large

but to

his past,

to find a place for himself in the world, to

make

live

cities of the

now he was

try

home

a

near the sea world, or

perhaps he would have to search a long time. searched before, and although

not

He had

a tired

man,

and no longer with the zeal and energy he once had, he would search again. He was ready to leave in a few days, even the next day, but before he was allowed to go away again he had to have his idenailing in spirit

tity

paper.

He

on

sat

his

bed thinking: This

is

becoming a

Why should a simple thing Why should a man who has lost

painful ordeal. take so long? tity

card have to struggle to get a

can't get

new

one?

like this

his iden-

What

if

I

an identity card and have to stay here several

weeks or months or maybe even years?

He

felt

his cheeks

long streams of perspiration running

and under

his armpits,

and he

fell

down

back on 41

bed anxiously recalling that years before, he had

his

often

warned himself not

to

go back

to his country,

foreseen just the sort of predicament in which he

had

now

found himself. Other memories, equally disquieting, obscured by the passage of time,

now

vividly darted to

He

suddenly remembered that years before,

when he was

very young, twenty and twenty-five, he

his

mind.

had recurrent dreams that he had gone back to his country, family, home and school and it was all pleasant, but when he wanted to leave the country and go abroad again, he was not allowed

to leave. In these

dreams he always struggled and fought to get out of his home and country, but there was always something or someone (he had

him him

now

forgotten the details) holding

back, holding his legs, binding his feet, or locking in.

He always

fought desperately to free himself, to

break loose and run.

He remembered dreaming more

than once that he had gone

down

into a well but how-

ever frantically he tried he could not

He

got

that these

up and paced

come out

again.

the room, reminding himself

were nightmares and claustrophobias of an

earlier period in his life

outgrown.

he had long ago passed and

He remembered

that

many

of his

young

compatriots abroad had had similar anxieties and current nightmares. tions of

mind and

He

spirit

re-

told himself that these infec-

were no doubt reactions to

his

upbringing, reactions to a binding autocratic social system whose essential though perhaps unwitting aim

was

to trap

and imprison the

the dark cell of fears

42

and

spirits of its

self-doubt.

children in

His explanations notwithstanding, he was ruffled

and stood by the window, searching

his

mind

for a way-

out of the labyrinth. Unfamiliar with procedures of

government agencies, he could not

tell

how much

longer he would have to wait before obtaining his identity card. Perhaps after speaking with Mr. Sepenta, his card

would be

He

issued without further delay.

thought of going downstairs and discussing his prob-

lem with Mr. Barzeen, but remembering that

his land-

lord was busy with guests decided not to disturb him.

He

then thought of Mr. Meena, a personable

had met

at the

home he had

Customs upon

his arrival,

man he

and whose

already visited once. Pleased with his

decision, overjoyed at the prospect of being with

an

acquaintance, he hastily put on his trousers and shirt,

and without further ado, went out and called Mr. Meena. They salaamed cordially, and Daryoush Aryana, mindful not to trespass on Mr. Meena's time, quickly came to the point, for a

"May

I

come and

few minutes?'

mud

"Excellency Aryana, this humble place, this

hut

you

see

is

your own home, please grace

it

with your foot-

steps."

"I am grateful. I'll be there in two hours." "Why two hours? I beg you to come right

We

away.

have a small gathering here, and you'll condescend to share a morsel or two with us."

Aryana walked taxi,

to

Leader Alvand Avenue, called a

asked to be taken to Shemiran at the foot of the

Alborz mountains.

The

car,

driven by a harried

man

43

who was better suited through the

wound

way avenue, went up and up

for driving mules,

cool, tree-lined

toward the mountains and gardens of Shemiran.

its

When

they reached the bridge at the foot of the mountains,

Aryana got out of the car, walked up a steep road on both sides of which were gardens, entered an unpaved lane, and rang the bell at the first gate. Mr. Meena and most of his guests were gathered on the terrace in front of the garden. Several others were

on carpets by the shallow pond, drinking beer and arak, whispering among themselves. Three gentlemen, standing under an enormous plane tree, were deeply involved in a disputation; and not far away, two resting

ladies,

one enveloped in a

slacks

and high

pausing

heels,

now and

veil

and the other wearing

walked quietly, arm in arm,

again to look at the trees and the

flowers.

When Aryana arrived, race arose to

men

on the tergreet him. Mr. Meena welcomed him all

the

warmly, then led him to his wife, to her cousin,

sitting

who

introduced

him

Mr. Taba. Aryana shook hands with the

down when Mr. Taba came over and holding his arm, stopped him from reaching the chair. "Excellency Aryana, come with me and let me introduce you to the others. They ladies,

then with the men, and began to

sit

honored to meet you." As they walked to the pond where the others were gathered, he added,

will be

"Meena

has told

me much

about you.

you have recently arrived from abroad." "I arrived about four weeks ago."

44

I

think he said

"What may being

officious

"No, not at ".

.

.

I

ask

is

your occupation

—please forgive me, —thank you, you are

in

..."

I just

all.

."

.

—

gracious

I just

wondered

—perhaps I'm

which ministry or

office

I

just

tell

you

you work."

Tma teacher." "A

teacher, that's excellent, excellent.

the truth,

wanted

I

—here we

jumped

To

always wanted to be a teacher.

always

I

you later." The guests Aryana shook hands with

are, I'll tell

to their feet,

and

as

them, Mr. Taba made the introductions. "Excellency

Mr. Aryana. Excellency Mr. Nouri. Mr. Nouri

is

one

of the best building contractors in Iran."

"I

am very delighted," Mr. Nouri said,

"Mr. Doctor Tabrizi. Mr. Aryana. one of the

Tabrizi

is

cellency

Aryana

is

My

finest lawyers in

a professor

who

bowing. friend Doctor

our country. Ex-

taught at one of the

largest foreign universities."

"Really? "I

I

am very, very honored."

am not a professor.

..."

"His Excellency the Master. Excellency Professor Aryana. His Excellency the Master, as everyone knows, is

the greatest, the most illustrious poet of Iran."

The Master bowed and Engineer Taba

is

said,

"My

being very gracious.

dear friend Mr. I

am

nothing,

I

am your slave." "Mr. Balan. Mr. Aryana. Venerable Balan "Yes,

I

is

..."

have had the pleasure of meeting Mr.

Aryana," Mr. Balan said

good fortune

to

as

he shook hands.

meet him right here

last

I

had the

week."

45

"Yes,

we met here

last

week," Aryana

said. "I

am

happy to see you again, Mr. Balan." "Mr. Doctor Engineer Kamrou. Mr. Aryana. His Excellency Mr. Doctor Engineer Kamrou is one of the most influential merchants of Teheran. Mr. Aryana is the

." .

"I

.

am very delighted."

They all

sat

to join them.

neer

down on

the rug and invited Mr. Aryana

me

"Allow

to get

you

a chair,"

Mr. Engi-

Taba said.

"No, thank you," Aryana

said, sitting

on the

floor

next to Mr. Balan. "I enjoy sitting on these carpets."

we

"Professor Aryana,

are really honored by your

presence," the Master said, bowing. "Here in the shade of your presence there "Yes, "It

we

is

much we

can learn."

are honored," Mr. Doctor Tabrizi rejoined.

an honor for our country to have such learned

is

gentlemen

as Professor

Aryana teaching

at foreign uni-

versities."

"I

am

not a university professor;

what

I

taught in sec-

America is called high school/' "Mr. Aryana is a very modest man," Mr. Balan interposed smiling. "I had the inordinate pleasure of mak-

ondary

schools,

ing his acquaintance very, very learned

in

last

week, and

man. Don't

know

let his

that he

is

a

quiet manners

deceive you. Perhaps you gentlemen don't know, but let

me

tell

you, Mr. Aryana here

is

the author of a

book."

"Ah! then, Mr. Aryana, you are a poet," Mr. Nouri said.

46

am honored

"I

to

a fellow poet," the Master

meet

muttered, forcing a smile.

"There a poet.

is

a misunderstanding, gentlemen,

The book Mr. Balan

refers to

I

am

not

a collection of

is

on education and the need for basic changes in present methods of education." ''How long is your story?" Mr. Doctor Engineer

essays

Kamrou "It

is

asked.

not a story, agha.

call in English,

It is a dissertation,

what they

an essay"

"How long is

this, as

you

say, this essay?"

Mr. Doctor

Engineer Kamrou reiterated. "I don't it is

know how long

it is.

Let

me

see, I

almost three hundred pages, maybe a

"Three hundred pages?

that so,

Is

is

would

little

say

more."

that so?"

Mr.

Doctor Engineer Kamrou exclaimed.

"As

I say, I

am

not sure.

I

think

it is

a little over

hundred pages." "But that is excellent, excellent," Mr. Doctor Engineer Kamrou added. "You must be an excellent writer. Three hundred pages." "Yes, it must be an excellent book," Mr. Nouri said, staring at Daryoush Aryana. "You know, my friends," Mr. Engineer Taba sighed, "I always wanted to be a writer." "Yes, it must be absolutely fascinating," Mr. Nouri three

said, still staring at

On

Aryana.

the terrace, there was considerable activity as

Mrs. Meena, her daughter and a couple of servants ran

back and

forth, fetching dishes of food

from the

kitch-

47

en.

Mr. Meena, although aware that

hungry, for

his guests

was well past two o'clock in the

it

noon, had nevertheless delayed serving lunch last guests

had

arrived.

He now

were after-

till

the

stood on the terrace

and the guests, who were scattered around the pond and in the garden, responded immediately and walked to the terrace to join calling everyone to the table,

the others for lunch.

Two

long tables ornamented with flowers stood at

the edge of the terrace, near the pond.

On

was a variety of Iranian foods: huge

platters of rice,

some white, some yellow, some

these tables

saffroned; rich sauces

with eggplant, with walnuts, with raisins and dates and vegetables and meats; salads and other cold dishes

made

and squash. There were also numerdishes that usually complement an Iran-

of potatoes

ous other side

and short, stood in little groups all over the two tables: wine and arak and beer and sharbat of pomegranate and Pepsi-Cola and Canada ian meal. Bottles,

tall

Dry and Bubble-Up and other refreshments.

The

guests gathered

ing, praising the food.

around the "This

is

table, eating, drink-

the best lunch I have

ever had," one of the ladies said aloud.

"This eggplant sauce

is

very good.

It is very,

very

good." "Yes,

it is

the most delicious eggplant sauce

had in all my life." "There is so much where

to eat here,

48

is all

have

one doesn't know

to begin. Bravo! Bravo! Mrs.

truly a masterful cook. This

I

Meena, you are

excellent, excellent."

Meena walked about, prodding her guests to "You must forgive us for just having these few

Mrs. eat.

morsels of bread and cheese

.

.

."

The

guests inter-

rupted the customary apologies and renewed their extravagant praise.

Aryana stood near the pond, eating slowly, now and then exchanging a few words with Mr. Balan or with Mr. Engineer Taba. Looking variety of food

on the

tables,

at the

abundance and

he thought of

his friends

abroad, thought that they would have surely enjoyed

being in that garden, tasting

and

delicacies.

all

Unaccustomed

the

to eating

a bird's share, they would no doubt day.

How different

it is

to

many

exotic foods

more than

be entertained

at

just

the next

fall sick

an Iranian

home, he thought. Here they put abundant food in front of you and prod you to eat. There they give you just is

enough

to survive. In an Iranian

required to be passive, not

responsibilities,

but just

lift

home

the guest

a finger, not share any

back with almost childlike

sit

obedience and submit to the catering of the host and hostess

who,

like doting, over-protective parents are re-

quired to attend hand and foot to their guests.

He had missed all urgings, the dotings

and

hostess.

this abroad.

missed

all

the gregariousness and con-

countrymen.

He had

often daydreamed

about these Iranian get togethers where everyone

on rugs

the

and proddings of an Iranian host

He had missed

viviality of his

He had

in a garden, listening to music, eating

drinking, and although he ate

little

sits

and

and did not drink 49

at all,

with

still

he enjoyed being of foods

all sorts

at a table that

and wines and

was covered

fruits.

After lunch, the guests remained on the terrace,

some

on

resting

chairs

Huge

the rugs.

and armchairs, others lying on

baskets containing a variety of fruits

were placed on the squat

and Mrs. Meena

set

coffee tables

and on the

floor,

about peeling and slicing the fruits

for her guests. After fruits, tea

was served, then sweets

and pistachios, then tea again and coffee. Aryana rested on the floor, but Mr. and Mrs. Meena made him get up, insisting that for a man who had been abroad

a chair

was more comfortable. Reluctantly

and Mr. Balan came and sat next to him. "I know that when my wife learns you were here today she will be sorry for not having come. She was he

sat

on

a chair

very honored to meet you

last time,

and spoke very

highly of you afterward." "I thank her,"

company ''She

too.

Aryana

said nodding. "I enjoyed her

Why didn't she come here

wanted

today?"

to come, but she had to stay with the

children." "Yes, little

I

understand.

It is difficult

when you have

children."

"Believe me,

it is

very difficult."

"How old are they?" "Well, one

is

twenty-five

and the other

is

twenty-

three."

Aryana nodded and did

his best to conceal his as-

tonishment.

"The 50

older one wants

me

to send

him abroad

to

let

him

go.

these students are nowadays,

you

let

but I'm not sure

finish his studies,

You know how

I

should

them go and they never come back." Mr. Balan took a sip of his tea and said, "If it is not imprudent to ask, are you doing anything or teaching anywhere these days?"

am

"I

my.

not doing

much

these days. I

am

waiting for

." .

"If

you are not doing anything these

you honor

me

with a

floor,

why

don't

Come to the free; my office is

visit at the office.

Ministry of Finance any day you are

on the second

days,

we can

there and talk for an

sit

hour or two." "These days

I

am

..."

Mr. Meena suddenly called everyone's attention.

"My

dear friends,

my

wife and

you have graced our humble steps.

We

I

are very grateful that

little

are very thankful. This

we hope you

will

come

hut with your is

foot-

your own home,

He bent over to put out "We are particularly hon-

again."

his cigarette before adding,

ored today with the presence of some gentlemen of considerable learning, gentlemen of

Our esteemed

wisdom and

friend, the Master, has put us in his debt

by accepting our invitation, and we

will

deepen our gratitude by reciting some of poems. Excellency Mr. Gol-Jehan and

Mr. Arousha, two of the most will,

we

of letters.

beg him to

his celebrated

my

dear friend,

illustrious poets of Iran

beg, also uplift our souls with their

renowned

poems." 51

"Dear Master," one of the

ladies said, "Please re-

fresh us with your wisdom.'

"Yes,

we beg His Excellency

the Master to accept

our supplication and read some of his celebrated verses.

"I

am your slave,"

"But today

I

the Master said,

must beg

bowing

his head.

to be excused."

"That's impossible, impossible." "Master, you must not disappoint us."

"That's right, dear Master,

we have been waiting

impatiently to hear you today."

The Master

"My

friends,"

smiled and nodded in appreciation.

he

said,

"I don't dare recite

my

un-

worthy verses in the presence of such eminent masters

and men

of learning. I

beg His Excellency Professor

Gol-Jehan and Mr. Buta and

Arousha

"That head

my

dear friend Mr.

to refresh us with their poems." is

bowing his the Master, you must

impossible," Mr. Buta said,

to the Master.

"You

are

begin and we will follow."

"That is right," Mr. Gol-Jehan said, also bowing his head to the Master. "You must begin, you are the Master."

"Very well then, his

up

head

to everyone.

will obey," the Master said,

He

bowing

fingered his gray beard, looked

into the sky, then lowered his head

straight ahead. ter,

I

There was absolute

and stared

silence as the

Mas-

suddenly grave, began his recitation in a formal,

singsong tone.

52

The Finger

of

Time has

That thou

The Hand

shalt drink the

nightingale

now

Shall sing

The

wine of loneliness

of Fate has written

That thou

The

written

shalt drink

from the well of unhappiness

singing

no more

our paradise of happiness

in

candle of hope burning Shall flicker

The sea washes away

.

no more

in this soul of weariness

.

"Beautiful, beautiful." "Yes, beautiful."

The sea washes away the sand The fire of passion washes away my

bliss

Lovers' tears flow like a river

Clouds weeping over that rose-scented Listen

kiss

Oh! love-crazed wretch Oh! King of Kings

Spring follows winter, night follows day Life's adventures

have taught us

this.

Everyone applauded enthusiastically and spoke glowingly of the poem.

Meena

said,

"We

"My

dear exalted Master," Mr.

That was

excellent,

to repeat that line

about the

are very grateful.

excellent."

"Yes,

it

was very, very beautiful."

"Excellent. Excellent."

"Master,

may

lovers' tears. It

I

beg you

was superb."

The Master nodded,

quickly withdrew his smile,

closed his eyes and recited:

53

Lovers' tears flow like a river

Clouds weeping over that rose-scented

"Thank you, "Yes,

it is

kiss

Master, that's very powerful."

very, very powerful."

The Master was

beseeched to recite another poem.

At first he declined, but then yielded to the implorings and recited another poem. During this recitation two men sitting away from the others whispered a few words to each other, whereupon the Master suddenly stopped his recitation and staring resentfully at the two men refused to go on. The two men begged for-

—

—

giveness,

and the people implored him

recitation. After

much urging

to continue his

the Master relented

continued his grave, singsong delivery.

poem; the

When

recitation lasted

more than

and

was a long

It

half an hour.

he finished, he bowed his head several times

There were warm, admiration and Mr. Meena

in quick succession, then sat back.

abundant expressions of said, "It

is

also

remarkable that the Master has such a

phenomenal memory." "Yes, the Master heart," Mrs.

knows over four thousand

Arousha

"Well, you

see,

my

verses

said.

friends," the Master said, finger-

ing his gray beard, "I spend several hours a day rizing

poems

by

—mind you, not

just

my

memo-

own, but others'

as well."

"Yes, this

is

quite an accomplishment by

of the

gentlemen

that

think of

I

54

it,

said. "I I

know someone

know two

—

itself,"

in fact,

one

now

people, yes two people,

who know more than ten thousand verses by heart. One of them perhaps you know him what's his name Mr. I've forgotten his name right now, at the Ministry of Education who knows the entire Epic of Kings

—

—

—

by heart."

"What you

just said

reminds

me

wrote," Mr. Buta said. "I will recite

of a

it

poem

I

once

for you."

As he looked up into the sky to begin his recitation, Aryana got up and quietly went into the house. He walked restlessly from room to room, looking at the photographs and drawings on the walls. He went to the street door and was debating whether or not to leave when he remembered that he had not yet consulted Mr. Meena about his problem, and that that was the reason he had gone there in the first place. When he went back to the terrace Mr. Buta had finished reciting his poem and the guests were praising his work. Mr. Meena thanked him elaborately, and said, "We are honored with the presence of yet another master, another illustrious poet. As we all well know, Professor Gol-Jehan is a master whose poems are in the New Style. I don't think there is any doubt that Excellency Gol-Jehan is the unchallenged master of modern verse." "Professor Gol-Jehan's guests said. "I

we beg him

am an

work

is

unique," one of the

avid admirer of his poems.

to uplift us with

some of

his

May

modern

poems?"

Mr. Gol-Jehan bowed said, "I

am

his

head several times and

discountenanced by your condescension.

55

But

I

my

don't dare recite

insignificant scribblings in

the presence of such eminent masters/'

"You must not disappoint us, Master, we beg you." "Not today, please," Mr. Gol-Jehan said.

"No please, you must." "Very

well, then, I

obey your command." Mr. Gol-

Jehan, the master of modern verse, put out his cigarette, sat back,

and closing his

eyes,

began

his recitation.

Hark! the nightingale sings the song of forgetfulness Sip the wine from the lips of loveliness The tears of sadness dropped like rain over his eyes Like a waterfall they poured over his cheeks

The

rocks like

little

.

.

.

"Excellent, excellent." "Yes, yes, excellent."

The

rocks like little infants clung to the bosom of the mountain Oh! night of misery, Oh! abandoned paradise of happiness Oh! love-crazed frequenter of the wine shop of forgetfulness

Thou Thou

art

an

art a candle of

Oh! flower

my sorrow hope burning in my lamenting

oasis in the wilderness of

of happiness

.

.

soul

.

Mr. Balan slowly leaned forward and whispered in Aryana's ear,

"To

tell

you the

truth,

am too keen about this modern verse. poems. The other is real poetry."

I

I

can't say that I

prefer the other

Aryana nodded acquiescently, hoping not 56

to

pursue

When

Mr. Gol-Jehan finished his recitation, and after he had been praised, Mr. Arousha said, "Excellency Gol-Jehan's poem reminds me of a poem the matter.

—an unworthy poem— mission

I

will recite

I

once wrote. With your per-

for you."

it

Mr. Arousha recited

poem, then Mr. Buta and

his

another gentleman recited more poems.

of the

gentlemen

When, during

were being served, one

a brief pause, cool refreshments

an honor to be in the

said, "It is truly

Our country

has

ways produced the greatest poets in the world.

We

presence of such eminent poets.

al-

are

a nation of poets, therein lies our strength."

we are a nation of poets," Mr. Doctor Engineer Kamrou agreed. "In a way, everyone in our country is "Yes,

a poet. This

is

the land of poetry."

"That's right, that's right," Mr. Engineer

Taba

said,

and turning to Aryana gave a quick bow of the head and said, "Excellency Aryana, you are a very, very learned man and have traveled all over the world and have written many, many books, what do you think, don't

you think our country has the world, that ours

is

greatest poets in the

the land of poetry?"

Everyone turned to look at Aryana and await his reply.

Aryana

felt his

heartbeat quicken and fidgeted

uncomfortably, wondering

At

first

his

head swirl and he

say,

how

to

evade the question.

he muttered incomprehensibly but then he

"In

my own

poetry has passed,

When he came

lost all control

opinion, poetry it is

gone,

it is

to himself, he

is

felt

and heard himself dead.

The

age of

finished, finished."

had already uttered 57

his

opinion and the damage was done.

what he had

The

at all costs

wanted

What he had

to avoid,

feared,

had happened.

people stared at him in disbelief, shook their

heads and muttered indignantly. Several people, speaking simultaneously, rebuked him, voiced their complete disagreement with him, expressed their astonish-

ment at his

lack of insight

Mr. Meena, the to

and

discretion.

up and begged everyone

host, got

remain quiet, and when after a few moments, a shaky was restored, he

silence

quickly erase the

ill

down

sat

effects of

bring about a reconciliation,

again and hoping to

Aryana's words, and

said,

has been a misunderstanding.

"My

It is a

friends, there

small misunder-

and does not warrant excitement." He paused catch his breath and clear his throat. The wounded

standing, to

expression on his face and his tremulous voice clearly belied the confidence and geniality he was struggling to display.

"My

friends,

if

anyone here has

to

beg

for-

giveness for this small, this very small, misunderstanding,

it is I. I

cause

I

am

the culprit,

I

am

should have explained to you beforehand that

many many different spirit, how

Mr. Aryana has been abroad many years,

the guilty one, be-

and therefore speaks

shall I say,

in a

years,

he has a different vocabulary

—

yes, that's

he has a different vocabulary. Mr. Aryana learned, a very refined gentleman

meant no

I

am

a very

sure he

offense."

"Yes, yes," Mr. Balan interposed, ing.

and

is

it,

"Excellency Aryana

is

nodding and

a very refined

smil-

and gentle

person and meant no offense to the venerable masters

58

and poets who are here today. abroad many years.

—not

some poems

am

I

sure what he

now, perhaps,

say, a little

outmoded and

how

a little, well,

am

I

sure

we

all

that

—but we

shall

agree with

." .

.

"This

is

not at

everyone turned

what

all

to stare

inexorably, and

helplessly

what

I

and

him

at

all

in horror to himself.

at

mean

I

Age

is

that this

of Realism.

romanticism. There

is

There is

the is

is

listen

not at

is

all

at the

blurred

felt like

getting

sat heavily

himself nervously repeat, "This

What

out, involun-

"This

He

him.

up and running away, but he

his

felt

he could do was to

were staring back

and

tried in vain to stop

mean," he stammered, staring

faces that

said,

He

again.

The words came

himself from talking. tarily,

mean," Aryana

I

more and

heartbeat quicken once

the

meant was

the ones that were recited here

others, are

that

that he has been

It is just

and heard

not what

mean.

I

Age of Science, this is no room for such silly

no room

for poetry.

The

poets

of today are the dedicated, inspired realists, scientists

who

labor day and night to help

into himself finds

and

his

man probe

deeper

environment. Each time a

man

something new about himself, about the world

and universe he to heal

lives in,

each time he invents a formula

another disease of body or mind, each time he

builds a

new

school, hospital, or

an inspired poem. the miseries,

all

A sensitive,

rational

the injustices,

world, has no patience,

no

dam, he has written

all

man,

alive to all

the suffering in the

inclination to

sit

back and 59

passively

weave stupid,

idle

rhymings about mountains

weep and beautiful tears of love-crazed idiots." There was a momentary silence, as the words rapidly,

that

incompassionately, cut

men and women

as several testing, all

then confusion broke loose

in,

spoke simultaneously, pro-

rebuking, defending the poets and poetry and

the other sacred institutions which had been im-

plicitly attacked.

"This

is

shameful, shameful," one of

the ladies shouted. "I just don't understand

how

any-

one can be so disrespectful."

One men,

of the gentlemen got

ladies, please.

friends, please

up and

shouted, "Gentle-

Gentlemen, gentlemen,

please.

My

keep quiet, please, the Master wants to

say something. Gentlemen, ladies, please keep quiet.

The Master." The Master,

biting his lip, striving to appear calm and unscathed, tilted his head to one side, and simulating an expression of boundless fortitude, said, "Excellency Mr. Aryana, it is not for me to defend the poets and glorify our poetry. That would be ungracious. But I just want to say something, very briefly, of course, because I see that an awkward situation, or to quote our dear friend Mr. Meena, a misunderstanding has arisen. What you have said, aside from being completely incorrect, was also very unkind and not in our tradition no Iranian, certainly no well-bred Iranian, ever allows himself the imprudence to speak so brashly.

—

But

it is

obvious that you have been away very long

way an Iranian feels and you know nothing about poetry. If you knew anything at all' and don't 60

feel the

about our poems, you would not say that they were idle

and stupid and I don't remember now, but you said something about weeping mountains and so on. But let me tell you something, agha, to us, to our people, why do you call them these poems are not stupid

—

They

stupid? I will is

are not stupid, they are not, never, never,

never accept

He

not."

composure.

this.

Poetry

is

not dead.

It is not. It

cleared his throat and paused to regain his " These

poems with pro-

are important

you don't understand. You don't understand that we don't just write about mountains and I don't know what else you said, but that these mountains and gardens and wine shops and found meaning,

it is

just that

flowers all have deep meaning, they are symbolic, they all

symbolize deep things."

"That's right, they are

all

symbolic," Mr. Nouri said.

"Symbolic?" Aryana asked frowning.

"What do

they

symbolize?"

you what they symbolize," the Master said, nodding. "I will tell you. I sensed that you were unaware of the symbolism. But I will tell you. They symbolize deep problems of the mind, they symbolize our political problems." "I will

tell

"Who

says

Aryana

said,

bolism, agha, to say

shaking his head. "I don't see the symI

don't see

it

it

at all. If

you have anything

about problems of the mind or

lems, either don't say say

such problems?"

that they symbolize

clearly, directly,

it,

agha, or

and

if

you want

plainly. It

to write meaningless things, then

political prob-

is

to say

it,

in fashion here

make

all

sorts of

61

claims that they have deep hidden meanings and symbolize things."

up and

Several people got

A

to the garden, others to the house.

and talked effusively,

to stare

among

noisily

some few others got up

angrily stalked

off,

themselves,

gesticulating

now and

again turning

shaking their heads,

with obvious contempt at Aryana. Mr. Meena

quietly apologized to the poets, begging their indul-

them

gence, begging

to forgive the effrontery "with

own magnanimity," and

their

in his efforts to mollify

them praised their poems to the high heavens. Aryana sat isolated from the others. Even Mr. Balan who had sat next to him all afternoon got up abruptly and walked away. No one seemed willing to speak with him or in any way acknowledge him. The deference, the polite cordiality, the quick intimacy with which he had been treated earlier suddenly gave way to an icy rejection. He told himself, no people in the world reject

an offender

as completely, as mercilessly as these

Iranians. All at once, his

years

and he thought

neighbors, recalled other, rejected

him

mind

slid

back through the

of his parents, sister, relatives

how

—

and

often they rejected one an-

living in the

same house without

acknowledging or speaking with one another for days, weeks, even months. During his long stay abroad, he

had not thought

member

thinking of

would do well

to

to himself he felt

62

of this it)

ponder

now

re-

told himself that

he

(at least,

and he it

somewhat

he did not

some other time. Talking reassured,

and he chuckled

inwardly, as he thought, thank God, at least one can

always talk to one's

Only

self.

now remained on the terrace, and whispering among themselves. The

a few people

they sat together,

others were gathered in groups

on the lawn near the

pond and in the house. Aryana felt awkward alone, and he looked about wondering how to himself from the painful isolation.

Why

did

sitting

release I

bring

upon myself? he whispered to himself. Why did this have to happen? Did it really matter that their poems were incompatible with my own sentiments? Did it really matter that their sensitivity differed from mine? Here at last I was at a party true, that I had inthis

—

vited myself, that I had taken the initiative I

was here and that was

still,

that mattered. I enjoyed

all

hearing their voices, their laughter,

I

was even able

good humor their exaggerated

tolerate in

—but

civilities.

to I

needed their company, their friendship, their hospitality,

and

I

me, lapped here

I

He

lapped up the attention they lavished on it

up

am again,

like a

hungry desert dog.

sitting outside

Damn

it,

and alone.

mind an apology to Mr. and Mrs. Meena when he saw Mr. Engineer Taba coming out of the house. He got up and going forward said, "Mr. Engineer Taba, may I speak with you a began to formulate in

his

minute?"

Mr. Engineer Taba took a step back and stared uncertainly at Aryana.

Aryana,

I

am

"To be

completely

—

very honest with you, Mr. I

don't

know what

to say,

63

by God, I

I just

don't understand.

am very blunt. "Mr. Taba

.

.

To

tell

you the

truth,

."

—

I mean, Mr. Engineer Taba, please say on your mind." "I want to say this, Mr. Aryana, I want to say that forgive me for being blunt I want to tell you how shall I say it I want to tell you that you didn't show good judgment today. Even if you didn't like their poems although to be very honest, I can't see how anyone could not have enjoyed them still, even if you didn't like them, even if you don't like any poetry, you shouldn't have spoken so bluntly. We just don't do this here. We Iranians never speak so how shall I say, so unrestrainedly, so bluntly. If you didn't like their poems you should have nonetheless praised them, praised the poets, and said excellent, excellent, and kept to yourself what you really thought. ..." "My opinion was asked and I gave it. I didn't think they would react so sensitively. I know now that if I had spoken more cautiously, they would have still re-

whatever

is

—

—

—

—

—

—

acted with indignation. Please, agha, convey gies to

Mr. and Mrs. Meena.

hospitality.

64

I

my

apolo-

thank them for their

With your permission

I

will leave

now."

4 Aryana went into the garden, rapidly walked to the front of the house, opened the gate and stepped outside. He looked about him, took several deep breaths and his first thought was, here I am alone again, I don't know whether to rejoice or to be sorry. He walked to the paved road and instead of turning right to go to the Shemiran Bridge and from there by car to his room, he turned

left

and climbed the Darband road

that led to

the mountains.

Slowly he climbed the

hill,

breathing the clear eve-

ning air, stopping often to look at the

were partly hidden by the gardens and this side,

is

not

estates. I

my

They

imprudent

all

—

walls surrounding the

don't belong here, he muttered,

element.

agreed with what

I felt.

mud

that

tall leafy trees

Not

I said,

a single person took

or even understood

disagreed, were angry

my

how

and thought

me

a nation of poets, the land of poetry

what nonsense, what stupidity, what hollow pride therein lies our strength why don't you wake up and realize that therein lies our weakness, our weakness and

—

backwardness and apathy and misery. stand; agha,

You

don't under-

you don't understand the symbolism, they 65

—the

are symbolic, they symbolize deep problems

hell

they do, they don't symbolize a bloody thing, not a

bloody thing.

I

ought to go back right

now and

tell

them, gentlemen, you have been rotting here too long

—

and don't understand the real symbolism you can't see that these poems symbolize all that is sick and rotten and devitalized in this culture. Aryana paused to catch his breath, but before long he was walking briskly up the steep road, goaded by a persistent turbulence.

It

is

not in our tradition to

Our people never Damned right they always lie, why don't

speak this way, agha, he muttered.

speak so unrestrainedly, so bluntly. don't.

Why

don't you say they

you say they have never been given the confidence to tell

tell

the truth.

like

you who can never

the truth constantly declare that they are

going to

Here is

Only sycophants

tell

you the

now

truth, to tell the truth.

something you can write a poem about, here

is

another opportunity to squander whole days scav-

enging for words that rhyme, here tunity to drag in

all

is

another oppor-

the flowers and nightingales and

candles of sorrow and tears that flow like rivers.

Let

me

tell

you,

I

am

not one to offend people,

on their sensitivities. I wanted to remain and not say anything, or if asked, say something inoffensive and not disturb your cocoon. But I

to trample

silent, listen

couldn't,

I

just couldn't. All that anger, all that nausea

me and at last I couldn't The more I watched and listened

shrieked and howled within

keep them in check. to

your ridiculous melodrama the more incensed 66

I

be-

came, the more

although

I

regretted having

was desperate

I

melodrama was too much

come

to the party,

be with people. But the

to

—

the exaggerated intro-

all

ductions, the insincere praises, the dead-earnest recita-

sounded exactly

that

tions

their lessons stiff

—why do they

schoolboys?

If,

I

How

can

mean,

I

I

embarrassing.

if

It is

themselves so senti-

they took the whole thing as a it,

melodrama

that absurd

so grotesque, so disgusting.

have an

affinity for these

think and feel so differently?

me and

It is

with awe lapping up the cheap

joke and laughed about

would not be

nonsense like

at least, they didn't take

seriously, or sit

mentality,

recite their

do they recite their poems in

whining tone?

that sickening,

ridiculous.

Why

schoolboys reciting

like

They

don't understand them.

who

people

don't understand

Why

did

I

leave

my

had come for advice, perhaps Mr. Meena has unknowingly given me the advice I was seeking, for

room?

I

what has become

shadow

of a doubt,

of poetry," that tion of as

soon

my

is

what

that

I

I

now know beyond

don't belong to

further stay here

is

as possible

and get

The

a

"land

identity card

out.

he reached Darband, on top of the

fallen.

this

only a molesta-

my self, and that I must obtain my

When had

plain,

jeer jeer of the crickets

hill,

night

and the

dis-

howl of a jackal filled the air. A vigorous stream tumbled and cascaded down the mountain, calmed down and ran smoothly a little distance, then distant

appeared beneath the rocks to reappear later down the 67

At the

mountain were several garden cafes with tables and chairs under the trees and carpeted platforms right on the stream, so that when you reclined on these divans the water ran immediately hill.

foot of the

beneath you. People came here from the

and from Shemiran, in groups and in couples, reclined on the platforms over the gurgling stream, played the sitar and the flute, city

drank, ate kebab, sang with abandon, little retreats

among

the trees.

made

love in the

They came here during

the day and at night, often staying until the early hours

Some even brought

of morning.

rented quilts from the cafes here, even in

—

their

for

—and

midsummer

it

own

quilts or

was very cool up

slept at the stream all

night.

Aryana

strolled

by the garden

cafes,

watching the

people on the rugs under the trees and on the plat-

forms over the stream.

The

attendants were busy going

back and forth fetching long skewers of kebab, bottled refreshments, baskets of fruit, leaping from rock to

rock over the stream to reach the customers. Since Aryana's arrival in Teheran, he had wanted to

come here

to

Darband, particularly on warm

noons, and in the evenings.

He

after-

hadn't been here since

and during his long stay abroad had Darband and had promised himself would be one of the first places he would visit

his childhood,

often thought of that this

upon

his return to Iran.

at the sights

Now

as

he looked about him

he had so often evoked when he was on

the other side of the world, he was inordinately pleased

68

had not changed much since his childhood. Only the road from Shemiran had been paved, a few lights had been installed in the darker areas, and instead of the donkeys, mules, and horses to note that the place

that at one time brought the people

now

But the gay

there were cars.

from Shemiran,

lanterns, the

walnut

vendors, the serene garden cafes on the stream, the

huge

aroma

leafy trees, the

merry crowds, the lovers at the foot of the

Aryana

—

and

of flowers

all

were

still

plants, the

there, nestling

mountain.

hummed

contentedly to himself, although

had not come here sooner to spend whole and nights at the stream, making friends with the trees, meeting his old friend the

sorry he

afternoons, whole days

mountain, listening to the accounts of eration of crickets

—the

this

new

gen-

great-great-grandchildren of

the crickets he had listened to in his childhood.

He

was sorry that

his

modern countrymen did not

frequent Darband, and were, as a rule, loath to

down on called

lie

the rugs in the old cafes or teahouses, as they

them, but preferred to show themselves in

ostentatious restaurants, sitting

stiffly

on inhospitable

under aggressive neon lights. He regretted that he himself had frequented only these modern restauchairs

rants in the city,

eating places. to

Darband

day.

He

had

more Western must come here

in fact, sought the

told himself that he

often, every day, or perhaps every other

Being here and the prospect of coming here again

made his spirits rise, dissipating the gloom that had weighed him down hardly an hour before. 69

He

strolled

by the stream, in and out of the terraced

gardens, stopping to speak with the teahouse attendants, smiling,

up

to

nodding

to the people.

Slowly he walked

where the paved road ended and entered the

last

garden, the highest teahouse, that rose in terraces at the side of the mountain. terrace, leaped over a

He

climbed

to the

one of the carpeted platforms in midstream. for

some bread,

second

couple of rocks and occupied

cheese, tea

He

asked

and stretched out on the

rug.

The

trees, massive and dense, towered above him, and above them the mountain. The moon, bright and clear, peeked through the foliage, now hiding, now showing itself. Several lanterns hanging on low branches swung lazily in the breeze, and numerous light bulbs, red, blue, yellow, green, hidden in the trees among the leaves, winked to one another. On the lower terrace, a group of men and women were gathered on a couple of platforms carousing, and on higher terraces, on both sides of the stream, under the trees,

couples and small groups were quietly eating,

Down

away from Aryana, two men and a woman were lying side by side, whis-

chatting.

the stream, not far

among

pering, laughing

Aryana fell

ate the

themselves.

bread and cheese, drank the

tea,

then

back and rested, absorbing the sounds and sights

and the

clear air.

For a long time he listened

water that ran beneath him and on platform, then somewhere

began 70

to play the flute,

among

and he

sat

all sides

the trees

up

to the

of the

someone

listening to

it.

He

felt at

peace and smiled as he remembered

much he had

missed these sights and smells and sounds

how

of his country, far away, to

how

often he had longed,

when he was

be there, right there in Darband and in

and cheese,

the gardens of Shemiran, eating bread

smelling that unique aroma of Iranian gardens, listening to the pristine and pastoral note of the

He

felt in

tune with

element and for the first

this world,

first

flute.

he had found

his

time in weeks, perhaps the

time since his arrival in the country, he had found

He

something with which he was in harmony.

now even

willing and able to forgive the poets

was

and

all

—

had grated that afternoon all the sadness, all the anger had now receded. He regretted only not having that

a woman with woman he had rival,

and he

him, and he thought of Safoura, the seen two or three times since his ar-

told himself that

he would bring her up

here the very next time they met, perhaps the following night or the night after.

Much

the tea garden had

more

when most

later that night,

talkative,

left,

and the

of the people in

crickets

had become

he was suddenly jolted out of his sleep

by the distant voice of a man singing. The voice, at first faint and intermittent, got closer and closer and clearer, until

it

seemed

to

come from everywhere, from

the mountain, from the hill below, from trees.

Aryana

sat

up

transfixed.

The

among

voice,

the

haunting

and melancholy, seemed to issue from the depths of his memory, reverberating through hollow corridors that led back to his childhood, to the years he lived at

home 71

with his mother and father and uncle and the Friday afternoons he spent with

Over and over he whispered I

needed

72

to

come back

to

my

them

in

to himself,

country."

sister,

to

Darband.

"God, how

r He woke up in the morning refreshed. It was Friday, and people were coming in large groups to spend the day in Darband. All morning students and other young

men

with knapsacks on their backs passed by the

and laughing, then disappeared

tea gardens, singing

around the bend

to begin the long climb up the Alborz

mountain. Aryana spent the entire day strolling in and out of the tea gardens, lounging on the platforms,

watching the

and

fathers

men and women,

the lovers, the mothers

and children.

Early the next morning, he returned to the

changed

his clothes,

Registration.

He

and went

climbed the

to the

city,

Bureau of Civil

stairs to

the third floor,

went to the end of the corridor and asked the attendant if Mr. Sepenta was in. ''His Excellency Mr. Sepenta is in, but he has a committee meeting." "Do you know when his meeting will finish?" The attendant slowly shook his head and said, "It is difficult to say,

agha."

Aryana went away and came back about an hour later. He asked if the meeting was now over, and the attendant shook his head. "Weren't you here a few days ago, agha?"

73

on Thursday and you said Mr. Sepenta committee meeting. Isn't he ever free?"

"I was here

was in a "It

is

difficult to say, agha.

Mr. Sepenta

is

a very busy

man."

Aryana went downstairs to the first floor and explained to Mr. Bastan that he had tried several times to see Mr. Sepenta but had not succeeded and was too impatient to wait another day. Mr. Bastan nodded

down Mr. Aryana. I will Here, Gholam Ali, bring two

sympathetically. "Please

him

tell

to bring tea.

sit

teas."

"I don't

want

tea,

Mr. Bastan,

am

I

in a hurry."

"What's the hurry, Mr. Aryana, please

Aryana glared

at

him and

you what

I'll tell

the third floor, turn

left in

said, "If

to do.

Go

door

—not that one

next door.

I

you are back

the corridor, not the

door, not the second door, the third door glass

down."

him, and walked abruptly to the

door. Mr. Bastan followed in such a hurry,

sit

either,

is

to

first

a large

but the next one, the

will repeat the directions

—go upstairs

to

the third floor, the third floor, turn ..." "I have

it,

Mr. Bastan,

I

have

"Very well then, knock on the

first

it."

this

door

—

as I said,

not

door, not the second door, not the third, but

Knock on

and ask to speak with Bernous, Prince Bernous. He knows Mr. Sepenta's schedule. Are you sure you won't have tea, Mr. the next one.

it

and go

in

Aryana?"

Aryana hurried upstairs

on the fourth door on the 74

to the third floor,

left

and went

in.

knocked

Several

men

sitting

behind small desks

all

looked up. Aryana

stopped at the nearest desk and asked for Mr. Bernous.

The man turned around and

said, "Prince, this

agha

wants to speak with you." Prince Bernous, a short, middle-aged man, put away his newspaper, got up from his desk

and came forward,

bushy eyebrows meet-

his

"Do you wish

ing in an interrogatory frown.

to speak

with me, agha?"

came here on Thursday to see Mr. Sepenta, but was told that he had a committee meeting, and I have been here all morn-

come

"I have

to ask for

your help.

I

ing today, waiting to see him, but the attendant says

he

is still

busy."

Prince Bernous frowned again as he said, "I'm surprised, because Excellency

busy in the

"Then do you think a hurry,

and

Mr. Sepenta has not been

few days."

last

I

can see him right now? I'm in

will be grateful

if

you direct

me

to

him."

Prince Bernous did not answer immediately, but

looked Aryana up and down. "Mr. Aryana,

how

take you to see

it,

well, to tell

"Why not?" Aryana asked,

don't

I

you the truth, His Excellency Mr. Sepenta."

shall I say

I

cannot

taken aback.

"Aren't you aware that you have come here without a necktie?

I

can't take

you to Mr. Sepenta

this

way,

it's

not proper. People shouldn't go out of their homes this way,

it's

"I

against all the rules of

came out

this

." .

.

way only because

it is

a very hot

day."

"You

are not the only one, agha,

who

suffers

from 75

the heat, but the rest of us don't go out of our

without a necktie. After

ment bureau, is

all, this is

an

office,

homes

a govern-

work and serious affairs. This come and relax and take things

a place of

not a place to

lightly."

"I will bear your advice in mind, agha. Kindly take

me to see "I am

Mr. Sepenta now."

do it. I don't have special take anyone in dressed so improperly.

sorry I cannot

permission to

Mr. Sepenta may overlook the affront and not say any-

man

thing, or being a scholarly

dressing very if

he reacts

modern or

differently,

will be held responsible. suggest, agha,

as they say, liberal.

what No,

if

I

he

am

way of But what

consider this

insulted, then I

is

sorry, I can't

do

it.

I

you go home, put on a necktie and come

back."

"But

and

I live far

away from

.

I

I

go

.

"Well, I'm sorry, agha,

and

by the time

here,

."

will take

Seeing that

you it

I

just can't

do

it.

Come

back

in."

was

useless to debate,

Aryana con-

room and compound to

tained his disappointment, went out of the

rushed downstairs. As he was leaving the

go into the Firouzan,

street,

whom

his friend,

he had met during

"Salaam Daryoush. "I

he came upon

Kourosh

his travels abroad.

What are you doing here?"

am after my identity card."

"Are you "Yes, I

76

still

must

bent on leaving Iran?" leave. I

came here

to see

one of the

but they won't

officials

let

me

him because I'm not

see

wearing a necktie."

Kourosh laughed,

glanced

collar

and

to the office this

way?

open

Aryana's

at

"You mean you went

No one else would

That's marvelous, you have courage.

dare come out this way."

no courage

"It took

me, in

this heat

to

come out

this

way.

If

you ask

come out the way

takes courage to

it

you people are dressed." "Yes, these cows wear a necktie even

when

they go

mountain climbing. Now if you were wearing a uniform any uniform, even a doorman's uniform everyone would salute you and bow to you and you could probably go all the way and see the Leader himself, and no one would stop you." "And you, Kourosh, what are you doing here?" "I want to get a driver's license. But first I must obtain copies of my identity card here." He winked and tossed back his head as he said, "I'll get the copies and the driver's license without much trouble. I know

—

—

many help

people in these

let

offices.

By

the way,

if

you need

me know."

"Well, I've been trying to see one of the gentlemen here, but

it

"Is there

seems he

an attendant

"Yes there

"Look,

is

is,

always busy. at his

attendant

came here

.

.

."

door?"

but the attendant

slip the

I

five

." .

.

tomans and he will

help you get in."

"You mean

I

should bribe him?" Aryana asked

frowning.

77

"Don't bribe him, just give him

five

tomans. He'll

take care of the rest."

"But

this

attendant

it

in

I

ridiculous, Kourosh.

tomans

five

somebody.

done

is

do

can't

I

have to give an

go into an

just to

office

and

see

a thing like this, I have never

my life."

"Don't worry, Daryoush,

it

is

all right,

everybody

The government should do something about this, but you know how corrupt the government is, it won't do anything about it." He pressed Aryana's hand does

and

it.

said,

"Look Daryoush,

lunch today, come

to

if

you are not engaged

for

our house, we will share a couple

of morsels of bread together."

They kissed again. "May I be sacrificed "May your kindness never diminish."

for you."

Aryana called a taxi, rushed home, put on a necktie and rushed back to the Bureau of Civil Registration.

"The Prince the

men

left

about twenty minutes ago," one of

in the office said.

"But he told "Well you

me

see,

to

put on a necktie and come back."

His Highness the Prince has other jobs

you can catch him now at motioned to Aryana to come

outside. Perhaps

shop."

He

whispered, "If

it is

his grocery

closer

and

to see Excellency Sepenta, you don't

have to wait for the Prince. Just tell the attendant at the door that you have important business to discuss with Mr. Sepenta, and he will take you

in.

Of

course,

I told you all this." Aryana walked to the end of the corridor and seeing the attendant at Mr. Sepenta's door, went to him and

don't say

78

want

said, "I

to see

Mr. Sepenta about an important

matter."

"Yes

yes, I

remember, agha," the attendant said with-

out moving. "But Mr. Sepenta

"Look, "Yes a

I

I

said I

is

must see him.

know, but the agha

is

busy right now."

It is

important."

busy right now, he has

committee meeting."

Aryana groaned to himself, steps away. No one would believe believe it myself. What am I to do now? I

Son of a burnt and moved a few this; I can't

father,

know any more. Can you imagine having to money to a doorkeeper so he will let you into an

just don't

give

office to

do I

it. It's

speak with a government just not right. I

will wait here all day

official?

have never done

and

spite

him

it

No in

I can't

my

life.

rather than yield

to his extortion.

He what

paced the corridor, back and forth, wondering to do. I can't wait another day;

nous doesn't come in tomorrow? are slipping

The

what

if

this Ber-

days and weeks

away and I'm still here, getting nowhere, I must get out of here or I'll go

only sinking deeper.

mad.

I

He

must get out

of here.

stopped suddenly and thought, what do they say

man? What should I tell him when money? Shall I say, please accept this, it is a small gift for you? Or shall I say, here is some money, it's a bribe you understand, I want you to take

when I

give

me

they bribe a

him

the

in to see Mr. Sepenta; of course, let this stay be-

tween you and me.

He

took out a five-toman bill and walked resolutely

79

Mr. Sepenta's door. "Eh

to the attendant at is

.

.

.

eh

.

.

.

how would you

say

.

.

in his pocket.

eh

.

.

".

.

.

it

is

.

.

eh

eh,

.

eh

.

attendant took the money, and in a flash .

.

.

.

here

."

The

disappeared

it .

.

.

token

.

.

.

.

."

"Do you wish

to see

Mr. Sepenta, agha?" the attend-

ant interposed bowing.

"... eh ...

it

is

..

.

eh

—

that's right."

"Wait here, agha, I will see what I can do." He went in and hardly a moment later came out again. "Agha, Mr. Sepenta is free now. Please go in." Aryana went into the office and Mr. Sepenta, a tall bulky man, half rose from his swivel chair and they shook hands.

A man

occupying the only armchair in

and shook hands with sit down, rang a bell and when the attendant came in said, "Three teas." He then turned to his first visitor and said, "Well anyway, I just ..." the spacious office also rose

Aryana. Mr. Sepenta invited Aryana to

."

you were proclaiming that "I was submitting that I just don't know what will happen. This unrest is growing every day, and I am "Yes,

afraid

if

.

it

goes on this

way we

bloody revolution on our hands. ernment,

I

mean

if I

will have another

If I

were in the gov-

were really up there

I

would

act

all this

corruption and

why do we have

a government?

without mercy to do away with injustice. After all,

.

Why do we have a Leader?" "But why did they remove the rugs and chairs

80

from here?

How

all

the arm-

can an honorable government

official like

Your Excellency

aging to the dignity of the government high-ranking

important

officials like

affairs of

is

dam-

itself to

have

receive visitors? It

Your Excellency conduct the

the nation in such undignified sur-

roundings."

Mr. Sepenta rubbed

and said, "Well, they came here about a week ago and removed all the rugs and armchairs they only left the one you are sitting on and they took away the coffee tables and the electric fan and they just about took everything. The Great Leader of Leaders issued a statement that he was launching a vigorous economy drive, and this was part of it. In a few days they will probably come and remove

—

—

my

his chin

desk and chairs and

I'll

have to

guests will have to join

me

there and

all

and documents

these papers

sit

on the I'll

my

in

floor,

my

have to keep pockets or in

shoe boxes."

"This

is

sipping his

shameful, shameful," the tea.

first

visitor said,

"These people have no respect for the

dignity of honorable

men

like

Your Excellency. Even conscientious and

when one upright and honest and noble

official like

Your Excellency wants

to accomplish

things in this country, they won't let him.

won't

let

They

just

him."

"No, they won't

let

one do things."

"No, they won't, they won't. Well, I will not take any more of Your Excellency's time. With your permission

I will leave."

He

got

up and bowed

several

times.

Mr. Sepenta

also got

up and

as

they shook hands, 81

"Thank you

said,

"I pray

for giving

Your Excellency

me

the honor of this visit."

will not forget

my

supplica-

tion."

"No, no, I

I

won't forget your command. Rest assured

will take care of

it.

I,

myself, will take care of

it

for

you."

am

Your Excellency is an upand punctual and honorable gentleman and I am confident you will abide by your promise." He bowed again and backed out of the room. Mr. Sepenta picked up the paper his visitor had left "I

very, very grateful.

right

on

his desk, glanced at

it

and shook

disdainfully

The

head. "People are out of their minds. they make.

his

requests

He

don't have time to take care of this."

I

rang a bell and when the attendant came

in,

gave

him

and said, "Take this to Mr. Doctor Shayan or Mr. Neekta and tell him if he can't do anything with it to throw it away. If that gentleman the one the paper

who and

just left see

—comes back

—

him

in a few days tell

go

to

Mr. Neekta or one of the others."

When

the attendant

left,

sorry, agha, I didn't catch

"My name

is

Mr. Sepenta

said, "I

am

your name."

Daryoush Aryana."

"Mr. Aryana, Aryana. Where have I heard that name? I think Mr. Engineer Janan mentioned your name to me the other day. I think it was he ." .

"Yes,

have seen Mr. Engineer Janan.

person

first

"Why is

I

I

He

was the

saw here."

don't you

sit

more comfortable." 82

.

in the armchair,

Mr. Aryana,

it

am

"I all

comfortable here, merci.

I

have been waiting

morning to see you, Mr. Sepenta. Your attendant you were busy and ..." "You should have come in, I wasn't that busy." "I had to give him money to come in here."

said

"Really? Really? "I gave

him

Two

tomans.

see

how shameful

it

is?"

tomans."

five

"Five tomans?

You

You

tomans

shouldn't have given

him

five

the most one should give these

is

people."

"But

this

is

"Yes,

it is

terrible, terrible.

who

tleman

bribery Mr. Sepenta.

just

left,

the

As

I

.

." .

was telling the gen-

government

enough to do away with all this mess. know what is going to happen." "This

is

my

isn't I

doing

just don't

application for an identity card,

has

it

been signed and approved by several of the gentlemen here.

I

have two

also

photographs.

now

to

be grateful

have them make out

been running still

I will

letters of

introduction and six if

my

you

now

I really

weeks and

can't wait

As Aryana spoke, Mr. Sepenta looked tion. "I see

an order

identity card. I have

after this for the last three

nowhere, and

issue

am

any longer."

at the applica-

here that Mr. Doctor Shayan and His Ex-

cellency Mr. Firouz have signed your application;

why

didn't they give a simple order to issue your identity

card?"

"They say,

the

—

said they didn't have the

—how would you

I've forgotten the word. ..."

"Authority?" 83

They

"Yes, authority.

had

said they

to

have orders

from above." "That's nonsense, they didn't need orders for a

simple thing like this." Mr. Sepenta glanced at the

"You have written here

application again and said,

you are pressed for time, may

I

why you

ask

that

are in a

hurry?"

and need an identity

"I have to leave the country

card to get a passport."

"But haven't you

just recently

come back from

abroad?"

came back about a month ago." "And you already want to leave? May I ask why you want to leave so quickly?" Aryana fidgeted uncomfortably and said, "I must "Yes,

I

leave here.

I

don't

know why.

I

am

in great discomfort

here and can't stay any longer."

Mr. Sepenta was

silent a

long time.

He

looked at the

small photographs of Aryana, read and reread the application.

He

window, and Aryana,

shifted his position, stared out of the at length,

said, "I will tell

turning his head to look at

you something, Mr. Aryana,

but please don't misunderstand. only so you understand

my

—

lost his identity card, didn't

exact date

it

fined

84

I

have the number or the

He was an educated man —one —and always well dressed and very

was

could see that

—

tell you this There was a

would say about one he came here and said that he had

gentleman here some time ago or two years ago

I will

situation.

issued.

and he had two or three

re-

influential friends at

different ministries

new

us to issue a

make

who

—and

little

money

Anyway,

—

we

I will

admit that

an identity

brand new identity card

issued a

me just same man was

to

day, saw dif-

shortly after succeeded in getting

card. Yes,

urging

his behalf

he came here every

spent a

officials,

on

identity card for him.

the story short,

ferent

called us

you, hardly a

for this

month

agha. Well, let

tell

that very

caught on the border, heading

a million-toman smuggling operation.

checked into the matter,

was not an Iranian

at all,

it

When

later

the police

turned out that the agha

but from one of the neighbor-

ing countries, that he had lived here several years, and

had wanted an Iranian identity card only to facilitate his illegal operations." Mr. Sepenta cleared his throat before adding, "There have been others too, not many, but a few others who also claimed to that he

have

lost their identity cards

were foreigners ers, et cetera.

Aryana,

I

am

—

spies,

Now,

and who,

it

turned out,

smugglers, profiteers, tax dodg-

please don't misunderstand,

Mr.

implying that you are a

for-

not at

all

eigner, or that your hasty request for an identity card

under

false pretenses.

this at all.

you the

You

Believe me, I

say

—

I

not implying

certainly look Iranian, although, to tell

truth, I

have seen Arabs and Turks

have your dark features. listening to

am

is

you

I

It's

who

also

just that, sitting here,

—how

couldn't help thinking

shall I

couldn't help thinking that something was not

quite right. Please forgive me, but you cation written in a childish scrawl

you speak with an

is

accent, every other

see,

your appli-

full of mistakes,

word you

utter

85

is

English or French, you have been living abroad for

God knows how

long,

you want

very hastily, you don't

Mr. Engineer Janan told day

—and

above

all

to leave again hastily,

even know

me

the year

we

are in

this in passing the

other

you have absolutely nothing

show that you were born here, or

to

that your parents

were Iranian."

Aryana stared at him and tried to restrain himself from erupting. He wanted to say something, object to Mr. Sepenta's objections, refute the insinuations. But he just stared and was not able to organize his thoughts.

'Tut yourself

in

my place,

Mr. Aryana, wouldn't you

same way? Wouldn't you have the same won't say suspicions, that is rude but hesitation?

react the

—

would have

willing to swear you

—

—we I

am

same Aryana

exactly the

the same thoughts." He would talk, but the latter was still bogged in speechlessness, and Mr. Sepenta, sensing that he had perhaps offended his visitor, quickly added, "But don't let this

suspi

paused to see

worry you, Mr. Aryana,

it is

if

a very simple problem. It

you what to do. Go Police Department and have them write us a is

nothing

at all. I will tell

stating that will

you are Iranian. That's

letter

you need.

We

." .

.

"This

is

ridiculous,"

Sepenta. "This

is

Aryana groaned, glaring

do you think course is,

86

I

am this

I

I

am, agha? Of course

Iranian. I is,

I

at

Mr.

ridiculous. I have to bring proof

from the Police Department that

this

all

to the

am

am I

Iranian.

am

Iranian.

more Iranian than

just don't

know what

What

—

I

Of

mean,

to say, this

is

degoutant.

where

feel offended, agha. I

am

I

As you of us.

Still

that

—how can

I

explain

it

we had some written It would look more formal." shaking his head, Aryana

why

don't you call

now, and ask them to look

and can

didn't say this.

I

whether

see

I

am

at

my

—

well,

proof,

if

absurd. Look,

it

sure you are Ira-

you are probably more Iranian than many

said,

It's

am

not saying that you are not.

look better dence.

this any-

in the world."

"Don't nian.

have never seen anything like

I

said,

up

it

would

some

"This

is

evi-

really

the airport right

passport, they've got

Iranian or not."

no longer at the airport, and besides, Mr. Aryana, we can't call up anyone and ask for such information. That is why you should go "First of

your passport

all,

is

Department; they can

to the Police

easily

check

all

this."

Struggling to speak calmly, Aryana said, "There

Mr. Meena

upon my

at the

Customs who

saw

also

my

is

a

passport

why don't you call him?" Mr. Sepenta sat up and said, "Mr. Aryana, I don't understand why you don't want to go to the Police Department. You say you are Iranian. Fine. Then go arrival,

Department, have them write us a simple

to the Police

letter stating that

you are Iranian. That's

all. It is

very

simple."

"All these

"Forgive

." .

.

me

just as soon as

for interrupting you,

you bring that paper,

but I

I

promise that

myself will take 87

care of the rest for you. tity

I

them

will have

an iden-

issue

card for you within one day."

Aryana got up and quietly anything like

this

—

this

have never seen

said, "I

disgusting.

is

three weeks that I've been devoting

all

now

It's

my

over

time to get-

ting an identity card, I've been running from one ministry to another, I

am

still

wasting whole days in

nowhere, and you are telling

silly bit of

paper that says

to live here. I wish I

I

am

and now

offices

me

Iranian. It

had never come back

to get this is

an agony

to this coun-

try."

He walked out of the room, went

downstairs and left come back? How many times did I beg you, warn you not to come back? Why did you come back, Daryoush? Why? Why? I am angry at you. I knew this would happen. You had no reason to come here. This is not your element. You are

Why

the building.

not Iranian

—

country, this

I

that's right,

Thank God

nian.

did

is

Mr. Sepenta,

This

for that.

another century.

another part of the world,

I

I

is

I

am

not

Ira-

not just another

haven't just

have traveled

to

come

to

another

century, another era, I have slid back to the Middle

Ages.

He

suddenly realized he was muttering louder and

louder, see

if

and he glanced

furtively this

anyone had noticed him talking

however, he was

88

I

am

I

am

that, to

to himself. Soon,

walking briskly again,

"That's right, Mr. Sepenta,

modern man,

way and

muttering,

not Iranian,

—your application

is

I

am

a

full of mis-

takes,

you speak with an

accent, every other

use

English or French

—

is

you something,

first

you, that's right,

I

of

till

won't alter things.

He

tell

better than you, go ahead

it

your

me

Sepenta, let

speak Iranian better than

all, I

speak

and laugh. Laugh

listen,

word you

explodes.

fat belly

But

that

thinks just because he uses these

long ancient words no one understands and expertly recites cliche formalities,

he

is

more Iranian than me,

or speaks our language better than me. Well, let tell

you something Sepenta,

may

handwriting, and

I

not have a fancy

not understand

words you blurt out, but that less

may

me

still

all

the ten-meter

doesn't

make me

Iranian than you. Every other word you use

is

modern Iranian, I use English and French words to make myself understood. I am not ashamed of it. Not at all. Not at

Arabic or Turkish while

all. I

am

I

speak a more

not ashamed of using foreign words.

in the international language of today, I speak

a letter that says you are Iranian Iranian, cestors; I

I

am more

—damned

I

speak

—bring

right I

am

Iranian than your barbarian an-

what right do you have

me

a foreigner?

that. I

should have

to call

should have slapped your face for

—he suddenly found himself outside the home

of his

Kourosh Firouzan, and he stood on the

street,

friend,

unprepared idly

to

go

and arrived

out of himself.

in,

sorry that he

so soon, for he

He

walked back

had walked

so rap-

had much

to beat

still

to the

end of the

street,

then around the block, angrily pondering Mr. Sepenta's words. All his

life

he had been called a 89

for-

—

had been a foreigner in Beirut he was the ajami, in America he was the alien from faraway Asia, and in Europe he was le monsieur Oriental. Now, eigner, all his life he

he had come back to what he had thought was his country,

and

90

it

grieved

him

to

be called a foreigner.

6 He

rang the bell and almost immediately his friend's

young son opened the door and seeing Aryana quickly bowed his head and said salaam. ''Salaam Ardasheer. Are your father and mother in?" "My agha hasn't come from the office, and my mother went out about half an hour ago but told me to ask you to please come in. I think she went out to buy something and will be right back." "Are Pari and Babak home?" Aryana asked, going in. "My sister is doing her homework, and my brother is

—here he

is."

Babak bowed

his

head and said salaam, and Aryana,

patting the boy's head, returned the salaam.

He walked

across the small courtyard, entered the house,

and the

and followed him into the small living room. Aryana sat down in an armchair and asked the two boys to sit next to him. Pari also came into the room, bowed her head slightly and said salaam. "Come and sit next to me," Aryana said, and as Ardasheer got up and went out of the room, his sister diffidently sat in his place. "What was boys opened the

the

first

door on the

left

homework you were doing?" 91

Averting her glance, she shyly muttered, "I was

memorizing my history

lesson."

"Tell me, what were you memorizing?"

on Nader Shah the

"I was memorizing the chapter

Great."

"Will you recite

it

for

me?"

She blushed, smiled uneasily and looked away. Aryana asked her again, whereupon she erect,

and staring

began a rapid

straight ahead,

—"Nader

and

sat up, stiff

sing-

Shah was one of the great emperors of Iran he was a brave and just and humane Leader at the age of nineteen he murdered his brother song recitation

and uncle and proclaimed himself Shah over three hundred wives and during complished

much

had

cious he

for his people he

was

his son blinded before

many thousands of people conquered many lands and ..." "Which school do you attend?"

death

"I go to Leader

of Iran he his life

had

he

ac-

at times suspi-

him and put

this great

to

emperor

Alvand school."

"Last time you promised you would play backgam-

mon with me," Babak interposed shyly. "Go and Aryana

said,

still

backgammon

and we'll play," preoccupied with Mr. Sepenta's

fetch the

set

words. "It's in

my

parents' room,

sion to go in there.

and

Maybe my

I

don't have permis-

sister will

go in and get

it."

"I can't go in there," Pari said, "I don't have permission. Tell

92

my

big brother,

maybe he can

get

it."

Babak

called his older brother

into the room.

gammon

Aryana

why

"Can you

said,

get the back-

set?"

my parents' room; there." He turned to

"It's in

go in

who came running

don't you go and get

it.

I

don't have permission to

his sister

and

They won't

said, "Pari,

scold

you or

you anything."

tell

"You go and

get

it,

must have orders from them

to

"I can't go in there," Pari said.

you are older."

"Why doesn't Babak get it?" Ardasheer asked. "No, go

I

can't

in there.

do

it,

You do

"Very well,

I'll

I

it."

do

it,"

Ardasheer

hands and smiling worriedly. "But or

my mother

mustn't

tell

comes

I will

said,

as

rubbing

my

agha

back.

You

soon as

quickly take

it

his

them anything, do you understand, Babak?

Just keep it to yourself." He ran out of the room and a few moments later was back with the backgammon set.

He

placed

it

on the table and

the pieces in order said,

"Now

as

they began putting

don't forget, let this

among us. We won't tell them." They rolled the dice and began playing, and in a few moments they were all immersed in the game. Arda-

stay

sheer and Babak sat side by side and played against

Aryana who was an old hand at the game. Aryana won the first game and excitedly they began another game. "Mother is coming, mother is coming," Pari, who had been sitting by the window, whispered. In a flash Ardasheer gathered the pieces, closed the set and dashed

with

it

out of the room.

93

Laleh Firouzan came into the house and arose they salaamed

me this

as

Aryana

and shook hands. "Please forgive

when you arrived, but knew you would forgive.

for not being in the house is

your own home, and

Kourosh

will also

and

the table

I

be home in a minute." Seeing that

chairs

were differently arranged, she

turned to Ardasheer and

said,

"Were you playing

back-

gammon?" "I swear

we weren't doing anything."

She glared at him, then turning to Aryana,

said,

"Mr. Aryana, please

sit down. If you will forgive me, I and get lunch ready." She went into her room and soon after called Ardasheer. "Who gave you permission to come into this room when I was away?"

will go

come in here." ." "Don't lie to me. I know you came in here "If you want the truth, we wanted to come in here, but we didn't." She slapped his face and angrily said, "How many times have I told you not to come in here without per"I swear

on the Koran

I

didn't

.

mission?

How many

times have

I

told

.

you not

anything without orders from your father or me?

to

do

If

we

."

didn't

.

.

Ardasheer backed away to dodge his mother's blows and repeatedly swore that he hadn't come into the

room. "If

we

teach you what orders.

would rules and

didn't have a guest here right now, I

But wait

it is

to disobey

till I tell

your parents'

your father tonight."

Mrs. Firouzan's angry scoldings reached Aryana's

94

and he jumped up and went to the bedroom door. He knocked once and said, "Mrs. Firouzan, it's me. Please forgive me for interfering, but ..." Mrs. Firouzan reluctantly opened the door and smiled to

ears

conceal her anger and the scene with her son. "Please forgive just

me

for interfering,

wanted

my

fault,

ter

and not

I

say

you that

to tell

this

not the children's. let

them, after

—these problems

been away

so long

know

I

I

all,

I

whole thing was

we had

and have

—here

is

really

known bethow shall

should have

our house

at

shouldn't, but I

these

—

too.

But

I

have

Kourosh."

"What's going on here?"

"Nothing

at all.

Kourosh took Daryoush,

let's

Nothing."

by the arm and

his friend

go and

lie

down

"Come They went

said,

together."

room where Kourosh took off his and socks and urged his guest to do the same. Pari spread a sheet on the floor and the two men lay down side by side. I am unaccustomed to this sort of cordiality, Aryana

into the small living coat, shirt, shoes

thought.

have a

It feels

man

people are very

They They love cal.

everything.

strange to

lie

next to another man, to

hold your hand, stroke your hair. These

—

as

they say in America

—very physi-

are very demonstrative in their affection. to

hold hands and to touch.

I like this

about them.

I like

They touch .

.

.

There was a knock on the door and Babak said, "Mother says lunch is ready. Come to the other room." "Tell your Mother we will eat here, on the floor." Soon the door opened and Laleh Firouzan peeked in 95

and

"Why

said,

other room.

I

come

don't you gentlemen

have already

into the

set the table there."

"Bring the food here," Kourosh told his wife.

want to "But

eat right here, I

have already

it's

set the table."

"Well, never mind, never mind. Bring

oush

is

not a stranger that

is

table."

He

There

is

"Very

we should

it

here. Dary-

sit

stiffly

at a

hand and added, "This want to be comfortable.

pressed Daryoush's

own home and we

his

"We

more intimate."

all

no ceremony between

us."

well, then," his wife said, "If

you gentlemen

we will eat here." up and help you," Daryoush said, but as get up Kourosh held him back and said,

prefer to eat here "I will get

he began to

"Don't be

Daryoush, just

silly,

lie

here and relax,

they'll take care of everything."

The

children helped their mother bring the food to

They

the living room.

set the dishes of rice

and sauce

and the usual side dishes on the sheet. Then they joined Kourosh and his friend, sat on the floor around the sheet and ate. "Maybe Mr. Aryana isn't comfortable on the floor," Laleh said. "Don't worry about him," Kourosh replied. "If he

were not comfortable, he would

ceremony

here.

sat at tables, if I

floor

and

can't get

you

For

years, this

tell

away from

there

is

no

poor friend of mine has

know him, he now

eat informally. After

us,

craves to

all, isn't

these things,

sit

on the

he Iranian? You

no matter how long

stay abroad."

Aryana 96

ate quietly

and

tried to dismiss all thoughts

of his hapless conversation with

glances at the children, their

he told himself,

it is

good

to

Mr. Sepenta.

mother and

be here.

It is

He

stole

father,

and

good not to

have to eat alone, or in a restaurant, but to eat home-

cooked food, in a home, with a family, and to recount to

one another what you had done during the day,

sympathize with one another's failures, rejoice in one another's successes.

When

they finished eating, the children helped their

mother remove the

dishes. Fruits

were served, then

tea,

then sweets. Laleh sent her children to their rooms to

and went to the living room to join her husband and Aryana. "Mr. Aryana doesn't seem very happy sleep,

today," Laleh said.

"Daryoush

"But "Is

I

it

is

always sad," her husband rejoined.

think today he

sadder than usual."

is

because of your identity card?"

asked, turning to lie

on

his stomach.

Kourosh

"Don't worry,

you'll get it."

"I traveled all over the world with no hindrance," Aryana muttered, "and now, here in this country, I am trapped and can't move." "Where would you go, if you could leave right now?" Aryana looked up at the ceiling and smiled, "If I

could leave right now, quel bonheur,

I

would go

to

southern California or Paris or somewhere by the

Mediterranean Sea." think

two

I

would go

He

to Paris.

ladies speak French,

in Paris.

The

paused before adding, "I

The

and

it

other day

made me

older lady reminded

me

I

overheard

my life Madame

miss of

97

my

Poire,

river

and

"I never wished

tion,

had

I

by the

one of our haunts

,,

you wished you

in these places, said.

Why

were here.

I

were here?

I

sit at

until morning.

"When you were were here," Kourosh

abroad.

take a long walk

in the Tuileries, then

and chat with friends

wished

would

landlady. I

do you think

was always happy when

I

a quiet peaceful

compatible friends

—

I

life,

I

I lived

a gratifying posi-

had everything

I

wanted."

"You have forgotten that when you lived abroad you were really not as happy as you now think. It's just that you are now unhappy here and are romanticizing your life

abroad."

"That's not true, Kourosh. "If

to

My life abroad

." .

.

you were happy abroad, why did you always long

come here?" "I never longed to

"How

come

can you say

here."

that,

time you were here, but

wrong,

I

can prove

Daryoush? Your mind has

You

obviously tricked you.

I

said the

same thing

last

can prove that you are

it."

Laleh smiled and shifted her position, "Look Kourosh, don't

annoy the agha.

subject, talk about

"Very

well,

—

not being

realistic

back

it's

and

I

When

to this country,

98

talk

just that

annoys me.

really

something

we can

talk about

Why

about something

my

but

is

this

else." else, let's

dear friend Daryoush

is

annoys me,

it

must he

must you pursue

confess,

it

abroad he yearns to come

now

that he

is

here, instead

of settling stantly

"I

grumbles and wants

still

here. I

down and enjoying

say

may

don't

I

to

his country,

he con-

go away again."

remember longing

come back

to

." .

.

my

Kourosh said, sitting up. "Please don't say it. I have all your cards and letters right here in the house and if you want I can show them to you. I can show you letters and cards where in your own handwriting you told me about your life "Don't say

abroad and

Aryana

that,

friend,"

how you longed

also sat

come back here." up, and frowning, said, "I would to

like

to see them." "I'll

bring them right now," Kourosh

remember

said, getting

you were here, we had the same argument, although last time you were not as unhappy as you are today and therefore weren't so vehement in denying that when you were abroad you longed to come here. But that day, after you left, up. "If you

I

the other time

told Laleh, I said, look Laleh, this friend of mine,

this

dear Daryoush, has forgotten

when he was

abroad. But

I

how he

really felt

have his cards here and

going to take them out of

my

I

am

trunk and when he

is

enough to come here again, I can show them to him. Now, give me a minute and I'll get them for you." He went out of the room and came right back bringing with him a batch of soiled envelopes and cards. "I'll find them for you in a minute," Kourosh said, leafing through the papers. "Here is one from southnice

ern California is

—but

another from,

let

this

me

is

see,

not the one from,

it is

I

want

from

—here

Biarritz,

99

here

another one from Munich

is

Let's see, here

them,

it is

me

want

is

from America,

.

.

.

me

the salaam

all

for

is .

.

think this

I

here

yes, yes,

it

is

is,

one of

do you

years ago;

five, six

and

aleik

and get

let's see,

I'll

to the pertinent

—where 'Sundays go from Brooklyn sometimes here with — 'America my second home Yes, here

where you

she

just a card.

it."

"This was written part,

—

it's

to read it?"

"Yes, read

skip

from

a letter

—but

say

is it?

.

.'

.

.

.

.

it is

(sometimes

think

I

I

I

to

I

feel I

stays

.

is

have only second homes),

grew up here. America has given me the freedom and the opportunity to learn and work and grow and assert

my own not at

individual freedom.

home

cannot say

I

on the

here. I live

really live in

self into this

I like

it,

America, but

I

am

fringes of this society. I

or can ever integrate my-

culture which calls for an entirely differ-

ent orientation from mine. Living this way, outside society, I feel

why You

are you here, Daryoush? This

I

is

ask myself,

I say,

not your element.

More and more I feel that I my own country, live among my

don't belong here.

want

own

very alone. Sometimes

to

go back to

people, where

I

can

that's all in this one."

fit

in.

Kourosh

Yesterday cast a

I

went

to'

quick glance

at

Daryoush before adding, "There is a more recent one from Paris, I read it the other day. Let me see, here it 'and I just returned from a trip to Germany and is

—

Italy. lish,

Although Europe retarded

100

—and

in

is

socially

—

as

they say in Eng-

some ways reminds me of our

own country. Traveling in Europe is exciting and fun. The women are abundant and obliging you would like it here. You would own

country,

still it is

also love Paris

But everyone is

—

I

not our

—

it is

an adventure

know here

leaving next month.

hotel. I

know that

it

to live in this city.

either arrived last month, or

I feel I

am on

will all

tired of this unstable life here.

The

and

pointment them.

a

gentleman speak Iranian.

I

had and

It felt

good

sat there all

to hear

different,

wanted

as

if

—

I

put

off

an ap-

afternoon listening to Iranian.

as if their

their laughter,

I'm

overheard two

I

them speak

enjoyed hearing them laugh

glad.

other day at one of

the sidewalk cafes on the Capucines ladies

a ship or at a

end soon, and I'm

even

I

laughter were

were Iranian.

too,

I

and tell them, I am an Iranian too, and kiss them, buy them something, or do something for them. But I just couldn't muster to go over, introduce myself

the courage.

I

wish

I

were there right now, so we could

and talk about old times. I would love to sit with some relatives and old friends and talk about old times, go picnicking on Fridays, sit by one of those waterfalls in Darband (is Darband still the same?), spend a whole afternoon playing backgammon, make love with an

sit

Iranian

woman,

listen to the flute "

—God, how

I

wish

I

were back home right now.'

Daryoush Aryana remained

silent

and

He

reflective.

did not hear his friend Kourosh say that there were other cards and letters that bespoke the same content, the same restlessness, the

same yearning

dis-

to

101

go

home. Laleh Firouzan interrupted her husband to say, "Don't annoy the agha, Kourosh, maybe he doesn't

want you to read his letters." Aryana stared at Laleh without listening to what she said. He was completely arrested by the deliberations within him. Listen Daryoush, you are here right now, after all these years you are here at last, you are in Iran, in your own country, your own city, among your own people. Do you understand? This is what you wanted, you have sat by the waterfall in Darband, played back-

gammon, made to the flute

love with an Iranian

woman,

—where can you go now? This

is

listened

what you

what you wanted. What if you go abroad and have the same irrepressible craving to come running back? What if he glanced at Kourosh and his wife wondering if they suspected what was going on in his mind. Look Daryoush, why don't

wanted

all

these years, this

is

—

you find a small house, even a hut, near the bazaar somewhere, a small house in one of those narrow, dingy alleys and settle there for always and forget that you ever

left Iran, forget that

forget that there

is

there

is

an outside world,

an America and a Europe, forget

all

happened to you since that day many years ago when Uncle took you away from Iran God, why did he take me away from here? forget all that you've seen and heard and experienced all these years, forget them as if they had never, never, never happened to that

—

you, shut yourself a

woman,

the day

102

up

in

one of those old houses, with

a simple Iranian

you die

.

.

—

woman, and

live there

till

".

.

and perhaps you are angry that

.

I

read your

letters."

Daryoush shook "I

know

exactly

his head.

how you

felt

when you wrote

Mr. Aryana," Laleh Firouzan

letters,

was married,

I also

said.

those

"Before

went abroad and planned

I

to stay

away several years, perhaps even never come back. But you know, hardly two months after I left, I felt nostalgic and lonely and I so missed my family and friends and countrymen that I came running back and vowed never one's

go away again. There really

to

is

no place

like

own country."

Aryana turned his head to look at her, and he nodded without having heard what she said. Presently

know you won't

she added, "I

gave

me

a million tomans,

one came here and gave look Laleh, this

is

I

me

believe this, but

mean,

if

a million tomans

yours, all yours

if

they

right now, some-

and

said,

on the simple condi-

—

you leave Iran and live abroad I wouldn't accept. I know you don't believe this, but it's the truth. My husband knows this. I am very happy here in my own country, and have absolutely no desire, not even curiosity, to go abroad. You know, sometimes as I walk tion that

in the streets

and hear the peddlers sing out their wares, to them and kissing them. Sing

I feel like

running up

dear man,

I

say inwardly, sing dear peddler,

how

you sing. Then sometimes, when I go parents' home, I sit on our balcony and look to hear

love

to

my

at the

there for hours just staring at the

mountains.

I

mountains.

I really

sit

I

love them. Mountains,

I say,

103

you

are so big

Iranian mountains and

"You

I

happy

are

am

feel

you belong

land and this land belongs to you. Perhaps

have

the same

felt

way had

You

are

up. "I envy

said, getting

You

here.

mountains.

Iranian."

Aryana

are fortunate,"

You

you.

my

and rugged. You are

I

to this

would

not gone away."

I

"You know," Kourosh said with a smile, "the other day a thought came to me, I said to myself, I said maybe this Daryoush is really not Iranian. I mean when I think of

it

you could

just as well be

met you abroad on and although we have kept up a corre-

neighboring countries. After

board a

ship,

spondence

from one of the

all

all, I

through these

years, yet I really

know

past, I

have never met a relative

of yours or for that matter

anyone who knew you in

nothing about your

your childhood. In last

time you were

Daryoush, "I

sit

fact I

wanted

here—why

to ask

you about

did you get up?

Sit

this

down

down."

must go," Aryana

"Where must you

said,

putting on his

go? Please

sue this subject any more.

I

sit

down.

shirt.

We won't pur-

don't care where you are

from, where you want to go, what you want to do, that's all

your

own

business. I shouldn't have read your

let-

please forgive me."

ters,

who had

Laleh,

just stepped out of the

back and seeing Aryana buttoning his

"Where I

104

shirt,

said,

are you going, agha?"

"Don't him,

room, came

am

let

him

sorry,

go, Laleh.

I

think

I'm very sorry ..."

I

have offended

"Kourosh,

I

warned you not

on the sub-

to dwell

ject," his wife said.

"I am not offended," Aryana rejoined. "It is just that must leave now." "Agha, why must you leave now?" Laleh said sternly. "Where can a man, a bachelor, go at this hour? This is not an hour to venture out into the streets. You must rest right now. Kourosh, turn your back and go to sleep and let the agha go to sleep too." Aryana stood still and stared at her. "Agha, take off your shirt and lie down. You need to I

rest right

now."

"Daryoush, come and

down.

lie

Why

are

you

smil-

ing?"

"Perhaps the agha

smiling at

is

me

will just have to forgive

my

insolence.

You

for speaking so openly.

It's

you gentlemen who are single and without attachments sometimes don't know what is right for you.

just that

Who has heard of going out into the streets at this hour on

a

warm day like

you can have

tea,

Rest here an hour or two, then

this?

and

if

you want

to leave,

we

will not

insist."

Aryana

sat

down on

the

arm

said,

"You know,

what

to do,

been

a long long time since

it

feels

reprimand

good

an Iranian has rebuked

It

couch and smiling

to have

me and

something or scolded me.

of a

forbid

someone

me

tell

me

things. It has

anyone has forbidden

me

has been a long time since

me and

." .

.

"You've been away so long ..." -

"You know, my mother always made me

sleep in the

105

afternoons. She always scolded after lunch. It

is

good

me

out in the afternoon or stay up I left

wanted

to

go out

have someone scold you,

to

bid you things, reprimand you

too soon.

if I

my home

when you want

late at night. I left

too soon

for-

to go

them

and came back too

,,

late.

"Lie

down and

rest,

agha," Laleh said.

"We

can

all

talk again later."

you say, I will take off my shirt, lie down and not say any more." When Kourosh and his friend woke up about two "Very

hours

and

well,

later,

will

I

do

as

Pari brought

fetch the

them

backgammon

tea

set,"

and sweets. "Go Kourosh told his

daughter. "I want to win some of this Daryoush's dollars

and

francs."

The two men remained on

the floor,

leaned against huge cushions, and played backgammon. First they played a set of five games, then, excited

by

the close competition, they played another five games,

then another, and another. As they played, tea and

and delicacies and pistachios were served, and the men, carried away by the game, rapidly, automatically devoured everything that was brought for them. The children and their mother sat nearby on the floor, watching attentively and with each roll of the dice fruits

cheered, laughed, shifted their sympathies.

Aryana, thoroughly engrossed in the game and enor-

mously pleased

to be in a

home with

a family, involved

in a domestic gathering, played with self-confidence

and enthusiasm, turning now and again to wink at the children and acknowledge their cheers. "The way this 106

Daryoush plays backgammon you would never know he has been abroad all these years," Kourosh said. "He has won all my money." When they finished playing,

Aryana distributed the money he had won among the children.

and the children hurried to their rooms to do their homework. Kourosh and his wife asked Aryana to stay for dinner, and he accepted. As Laleh went into the kitchen, Kourosh and his friend Night had

fallen

and talked about old times. Soon, the family gathered for dinner and as they ate the children reported what they had done during the day, and what they planned to do the next day. After dinner, they all sat in the small courtyard and once again reclined on the

listened to the frogs

floor,

around the

little

pond.

107

7 When

Daryoush Aryana

home, the were deserted and most of the houses dark and Finding himself alone again, a depression that

streets silent.

had

He

earlier taken root in

suddenly

felt as

left his

him began

friend's

to

grow and spread.

though he had been shut out of the

world, as though he were detached and without con-

nection to anything in the world, without even a nest

which he could slink back.

to

Automatically he began to walk

all

the

way

to his

room, but after he had walked a few minutes he suddenly remembered Safoura and his footsteps slackened.

At

first

he told himself that he would go to her the next

day, for

He

it

was

late

now, and she was no doubt

continued walking and tried to dismiss

all

asleep.

thought

of her, but the prospect of returning to his room, facing

himself and spending another hollow night staring at the ceiling, tossing

crept over

and turning and talking to himself, stop and once again con-

him and made him

sider going to her.

He

changed

hesitantly, then

his course

and began

more and more

anticipation of being with a

to walk, at

first

deliberately. Slowly the

woman grew

within him 109

and began to dissipate his solicitude. The door that had been shut behind him was now reopened. He no longer felt excluded and isolated. There was still a connection, however temporary and frail and incomwith the world around him.

patible,

briskly, hopefully,

and passing by a

He walked

fruit shop, the

still open in that part of the city, he went and bought her fruits. He left the shop, walked to the end of the street, turned into a dark cobblestoned alley and began the descent into the Old City. He went through dim-lit deserted streets, and narrow alleys with old, decrepit houses and shops. The strong, ever-present smell of urine made him wrinkle his nose and shake his head. He walked through areas that were deep and dark like the bazaar, his footsteps echoing hollowly in the empty

only shop in

streets.

Here, where everything was old and

still,

dark

shadows rested heavily on the blistered pavement, now hiding and

now showing

the dirt, the gutter, the blood

near the gutter where hens and sheep were beheaded, the overlapping stains of urine on the walls, and scattered heaps of rubbish where cats gorged themselves.

Deeper and deeper he went into

this old

quarter of

the city, passing through areas that were remotely familiar.

He

straining to

paused more than once to look about, remember whether he had ever been here

or was confusing what he saw with similar places he

had known elsewhere. He stopped and urinated against a wall, and began to tell himself, it is not civilized to urinate in the streets, but was astonished to hear him-

110

self

mutter,

A

wall.

it feels

good

to stand

large tattered notice

caught his eye. All Believers,

and urinate against a

on the wall above him it said,

are

summoned

take part in the flagellations in observance of the

der of

Imam

to

mur-

Hussein. Every day, an hour before noon,

the procession will leave the Hajj sera near the

Abdul Aziz Caraven-

Gate of the Cave. Bring your own chains.

He began to walk away when he heard footsteps behind him. He stopped, turned around, and presently a veiled woman appeared out of the dark shadows. She walked slowly toward him, her dark eyes carefully measuring him from head to paces away, and stood

next move.

still

She stopped several

toe.

waiting for

"What do you want,

him

sister?"

to

make

Aryana mut-

tered, staring at her.

The woman motioned

with her head to come

closer,

two toward

more

as

to

him

he took a step or

her, she slowly let her veil

of her face, then suddenly she

tire veil

drop showing

opened up her en-

revealing her naked body.

Startled

by the suddenness of her move, Aryana drew

back a couple of

him

and

the

steps,

and the woman came toward

again. She enclosed herself in her black veil, then

show her body again. She spread her legs slightly and motioned to Aryana to come closer, but he shook his head and said that he was in a hurry. "I have a room on the next street," she whispered. "Come with me, I do it well." Aryana shook his head again and she said, "Then stand here in the doorway, and I'll do it for you. You don't have to do anything." Aryana walked away and the woman followed him.

reopened

it

to

-

Ill

"Look, agha," she want.

You can do

do

said, "I'll it

it

for

the other way,

if

you any way you you

like, I

don't

mind." "Look, "I can

sister, I

do

told

you I'm in

quickly,

it

a hurry."

you are

if

in a hurry. It won't

take long."

She continued importuning him, but seeing that he did not respond, she vanished. Aryana stopped, turned

around

to see

where she had gone, but could not

see

he continued

her, or even hear her footsteps. Puzzled,

walking, and wondered what had happened to her.

upon other women, all enveloped in cryptic veils. They opened their veils to show their naked or partly naked bodies, and motioned to him to come close. Opening and closing their veils, they Soon, he came

looked like huge black birds flapping their wings.

Aryana stopped and talked with them and he strangely comfortable as if

and

at

home with

these

women,

He

recalled

he had known them for centuries.

then that even that

first

felt

woman, notwithstanding

the

suddenness of her appearance, had induced in him the

same good feelings. Her simultaneous aggressiveness and compliance had been reassuring to him, and when she opened her veil and motioned to him to come in, it

was for him

opened up

Old

as if the

to take

him

City, or the earth itself,

in again.

He had

felt

sad

had

when

she suddenly vanished, and now, as he talked amiably

with these women, he looked

he would once again see that

The women clung 112

way and woman.

this

first

to him, each

that

hoping

promising a novel

new way,

thrill, a

self

be pulled

this

He

a complete submission.

way and

that,

importunings. Encouraged by held on to him, and

and

let

him-

listened to their

his permissiveness they

when he continued

walking, they

walked along, and more than one of them offered her love for love's sake.

When

they reached the street where Safoura lived,

Aryana extricated himself, and promising another night, walked away briskly. He went

to return

to the

end

and stopped at a small, inelegant brick house. He knocked at the door and waited. Soon he knocked again. Disappointment began to grip him and he knocked harder and harder. What if she is not in, of the street,

must see her. He listened carefully at the only window, hoping to catch a sound or a voice from inside. "Safoura, Safoura," he whispered at the window. He looked about to see if anyone was watching him from the nearby houses, and he shook his head dejectedly, reprimanding himself for not having come here sooner since that last time, more than ten days earlier, when he had spent an entire night with her. he muttered,

Who

I

cares that she

woman? What is wrong with

if

she

is is

not a sophisticated, modern

from

this part of the city?

this part of the city?

and interesting women

What

Some very decent

live in these parts.

People don't

have to be learned to be interesting. As he muttered to himself he knocked repeatedly on the door.

He

was be-

ginning to resign himself to the conclusion that she

was not

in,

or not willing to answer the door,

when he

heard footsteps inside the house. 113

"Who is it?" "It's

He

me, Safoura,

it's

me

—Daryoush."

heard her grumble and he shook his head and

smiled, pinned between feelings of elation

guilt.

him quizzically, then bowed her head and

She opened the door, looked haps even reproachfully,

and

at

persaid

salaam. Aryana salaamed and said, "Please Safoura,

—

me for disturbing you at this it's just that Safoura, I am so happy you are in. I came all this way

forgive

you and

to see

"I

am

honored, agha,

I

am

have condescended to come the city and to this

humble

really

all

the

shack.

honored that you

way

to this part of

just that I wasn't

It's

when you

expecting anyone at this late hour and

knocked, sein, I

"I

I

was very

hope there

am

is

startled

and

Ya Imam Hus-

said,

no trouble again."

very sorry Safoura,

it's

just that I hadn't seen

you in several days, and I just had to see you tonight and hoped you would forgive me if I arrived a little late."

"This you.

It's

is

your own home, agha,

just that

be imprudent

—

—please forgive me,

it's

just that I

am

not worthy of

it's

I

don't want to

not one of those

women, you know that yourself, and tomed to having people come here at

I

am

this

not accus-

hour

of the

night."

"Please don't feel offended, Safoura, you I

know

that

have respect for you."

A

on her face, and the wider. Aryana took a step forward

faint trace of a smile played

door opened a 114

little

come in?" The door opened a little wider, and Aryana went in. He stood in the dimly lit room and waited for her to lead the way. She quietly closed the door and as she turned around, he said, ." He suddenly grabbed her arm "Safoura, I'm really and in his elation kissed her hand and face and neck. He kissed her over and over again. "Ya Imam Hussein, what is happening, Daryoush Khan? You are so affecand

"May

said,

I

.

tionate." She stood

.

immobile

as

he continued kissing

her.

"What

is

this

"I brought

you have

in

your hands?"

you some tangerines. Here. I wanted to else, something good, but all the

bring you something shops were closed."

She took the bag of tangerines and

know how

to

said,

"I don't

thank you, Daryoush Khan, but you

shouldn't have done

this.

you and embarrass me.

You

always bring things with

I really

don't expect you to

bring anything."

"These are

just tangerines, Safoura,

it's

"They probably cheated you again," "You must bargain with them."

nothing."

she said, chuck-

ling.

"I hate to bargain."

"You

Daryoush Khan, would you bring you a sheet and pillows and

are very tired,

to rest here,

"Can't

I'll

we go

into the back room,

it's

like .

.

."

more intimate

there."

"The

other

room

is

in disorder, I

"It doesn't matter, Safoura,

was sleeping in

come,

let's

it."

go into the

other room."

115

In the back room, a huge mattress with rumpled sheets

on the

on

it

on the floor. Two large pillows were and a gaudy quilt, neatly folded, was

rested

mattress,

nearby on the

floor.

Several cushions of different sizes

and shapes, some with embroidered inscriptions, others ornamented with colorful designs, rested invitingly on the carpeted floor. Covering the walls, the small win-

dow and even

the ceiling were old tapestries with busy

arabesque designs and impressions of distant Iranian gardens where dark-eyed lovers cavorted beneath cypress trees, and peacocks with magnificent plumage roamed nearby. An old, tired lantern spread a weak light, casting curious shadows that made the room appear deep and full of unexplored retreats. At the same time the tapestries covering the ceiling and walls made the room appear strangely small and cavelike. Aryana took off his shoes, entered the room, and Safoura followed him in. "Please forgive the untidiness here, I'll tidy up the mattress instantly." Aryana sat on the mattress and said, "Leave it as it is and come sit here." "Very well then, I'll fetch you something to eat." "I'm not hungry Safoura, please come and sit here." She did not heed his words, and having placed several cushions behind him so he could lean back, she hurried out of the room and was soon back with honey cakes, cheeses, herbs, spring onions, halvah, and homemade jams. She dashed out of the room again and came back with sweets and nuts and pistachios and the tangerines Aryana had brought. She spread a sheet on the

116

by the mattress, and placed

carpet,

the food

all

on the

sheet.

Not her

sit

Aryana had grabbed her hand and made down did she stop bringing in foods and attenduntil

ing to him. "Please eat something. If you'll let get

up and

"I don't

"Then I

me

I'll

light the samovar."

want tea, merci."

please eat something. I

am

very ashamed that

don't have anything else to offer you."

Although not hungry, Aryana munched on the

pista-

chios.

"Did you get your identity card?" Aryana shook his head. "First I have

to prove I

am

Iranian."

"Aren't you Iranian?" she said, turning to look at

him.

"What can I..." "They should ask me," tell

she

murmured,

smiling. "I'll

them."

"What do you mean?" he asked, staring at her. "Do you mean because I was inconsiderate and came here so late?"

She shook her head. "I wasn't asleep when you came.

A

little

and her

my neighbor woke me up and

was beating his wife

while ago cries

I

couldn't

fall

asleep

again."

"Why was he beating his wife?" "I don't

know, he always beats her.

home late at night, or goes with when she objects he beats her."

I

think he comes

other

women, and 117

"Why doesn't she complain to the authorities?" "It's not really necessary. He beats her and she but

they make up and

later

well again.

all is

cries,

just

It's

must have been beating her with a stick or something because she was really shrieking and that's why I woke up." "But this is wrong, what right does he have to beat that tonight he

her?

It's

women

not civilized, in

this

not right.

it's

They

country.

me

sorry for the

treated

are

abused, and they have no rights, no

"Daryoush Khan, allow

I feel

cruelly,

." .

.

to get

up and make you

tea."

"But why does she put up with

do something about it?" "Don't worry about everything. After

all

he

this,

is

it?

Why

tomorrow

her husband,

doesn't she

she'll

isn't

forget

he?"

She began to get up but he stopped her, "Stay here

you

I

"Then what can

I

Safoura,

I

told

don't want tea." get you,

"Please stop calling

"But what "I can't

me Daryoush Khan."

shall I call

"I told you last time

do

Daryoush Khan?"

you?"

—

just call

that, agha,

it's

me Daryoush."

not respectful. After

all,

you are a gentleman, God protect you, an honorable gentleman, and I like to be respectful." He took her in his arms and pressed her against his body. He leaned his head against hers and thought, what if I didn't have this woman right now? What if I were still alone, walking in the streets, going to my room?

Now

118

I

understand why people take their

own

He

lives.

pressed her again in his arms and repeatedly

and head, overjoyed that he was with her. Suddenly his sadness, his hopelessness seemed to have vanished, and all at once, Teheran was the most beautiful city in the world, and the Old City the most kissed her face

reassuring place, the only place to be

He drew as

in.

back his head and looked

at

her carefully,

reassessing her after the interlude of

if

She had dark-brown

drooped

days.

untrimmed eyebrows, brown and full, prominent lips that

hair,

an imperfect nose,

eyes,

many

both ends, lending her face an

slightly at

amused, or perhaps a perplexed expression. Her skin was

soft

and

light

brown

She has an unusual face that

I

look at her,

closed eyes, thick

—the color

of the Iranian soil.

this Safoura,

he thought.

Now

think her high cheekbones, half-

I

lips,

brown

skin

make her look

at

once Mongolian and primitive. Perhaps her parents or grandparents were from the villages of the north.

I

must remember to ask her about this. But it's her body that interests me in particular. She has small breasts, wide hips, large round buttocks,

—a women—

heavy thighs, heavy sembles Maillol's

legs

short, solid, earthy, light at

the top, heavy at the base.

up

peasant's body. She re-

I

love this kind. She got

began to gather the foods and dishes on the and he leaned back on the cushions contemplating her body. He stared at her heavy thighs and butquietly,

sheet,

tocks that bulged conspicuously beneath her flimsy nightdress.

come

He

sat

up suddenly and

said,

"Safoura,

here."

119

"Let

."

me clear these

.

.

"Leave those things right now. "It will only take a

."

.

.

few minutes.

Aryana got up suddenly, grabbed her and carried her to the mattress. He made her lie down and began to pull

up her

dued her

dress,

again,

but she

made her

lie

sat up, resisting.

He

sub-

down and pulled up her "What are you doing,

loose nightdress to her waist.

agha?"

want

"I only

"No please, "Turn

to

." .

.

not that way."

the other way,

"I can't,

it

woman."

hurts that way."

We

"I said turn the other way.

know you've done

He "But

men tell

many

it last

time. I

times."

way and she pleaded, Ya Imam Reza, why are you

forced her body the other

hurts this way.

it

this

were

it

did

way? You are

the same.

all

different. Please don't

you,

it is

do

it

had thought you

I

this

hurting. Please, don't.

way.

Not

It hurts. I

so hard.

are so cruel, Daryoush Khan, Ah! Ah! Daryoush, life.

my

Daryoush. Daryoush. ..."

They At

You

rested side by side

length, she said, "Shall

He

I

and were get

you

silent a

long time.

tea?"

shook his head.

"Shall

I

fetch

you something

Again he shook

to eat?"

his head.

"Do you want me

to

"Stay here beside

me and rest."

120

rub your back,

if

you are

tired?"

hand and kissed it several times. "Sometimes you are so cruel, Daryoush Khan. I had thought you were different, but you are like all these Iranian men. You are not different. You are even worse than these Iranian men." She kissed his hand again and said, "I mean you are so educated and refined and you alShe took

ways

tell

his

me how you

and

treated

hate the way our

women

are

one would never think you'd do

all that,

things like these other men." "I was lying here admiring your

body when you sud-

denly got up and turned around to gather these things,

and it

I

had

here,

to

it's

have you."

so fat

He

patted her and said, "I love

and round and

He rested by her,

soft."

peaceful and happy.

He

slept there

and spent all of the next day with her in that dark, quiet room. At night as she tidied up her small hut, he stretched on the mattress, waiting for beside her

all

her, thinking, is

good

night,

it is

to feel

and

Once more

I feel

Why

I

I

good

to

be here with

to touch a

connected to

this

woman.

It

woman's body again. life and to mankind.

come here sooner? When for many days am not with a woman, cannot touch a woman's body,

feel

didn't

it,

kiss

feel cut off

thought of

it,

look at

from

life

it,

just look at

and hope.

this and, in

my

it

and fondle

I feel lost. I

it,

I

should have

present circumstances, not

stayed away.

He

turned his head and stared

lovers dallying

knew

that he

under the

at

the dark-eyed

trees in the tapestries.

He

had stayed away because this woman, this woman he had ever been with

Safoura, was unlike any

121

and

The

liked.

conspicuously

wanted an with

lacking

alert,

whom

universe, a

qualities

woman,

woman who had read books, if

and the

enjoyed music,

not herself crea-

and enjoy the creative and the had traveled much and had

broad, rational view of

ness,

life

A woman who

lived in the great cities of the world,

woman

always

modern woman

a

he could probe the enigmas of

able to perceive

tive,

He had

Safoura.

in

conversable

was intellectually inquisitive, and original.

women were

he admired in

of the

Old

life

who

nourished a

and the universe. But

this

City, although not lacking in alert-

was nevertheless not conversable, not modern, not

worldly, not particularly interested to

happening in the country, much

know what was the world. She

less in

was a quiet woman, resigned to her medieval sacred superstitions,

who had seldom

and body

fears

ventured, in

or mind, out of the Old City. She seemed to have sub-

dued within herself all ambition, all drive and siveness, and this was perhaps evident in her

aggres-

accept-

ance of suffering. She lived close to her traditions, and

her roots, although withered, were deep.

Yet

now he found

woman. At

himself more and more drawn to

improbable

as-

sociation to his present circumstances, because after

all,

this

he

felt like

first

he attributed

this

an abandoned man, and she had taken

him

home, given him a place, however tempothawed him out with her indulgence and care.

into her rarily,

To

be sure,

this

had much

to

do with

that accommodating, plebeian

it

—being with

woman was

the only

good event, the only mirth, the only comfort he could 122

look forward

to,

and the anticipation of seeing her

again and being with her already

made

his life in this

city a little less unbearable, a little less dispiriting.

soon

it

was evident that quite aside from

there was something about this cient

But

his loneliness,

woman, something

and familiar and earthy which

an-

stirred the deepest

feelings in him.

When

he woke up in the morning, Safoura was

He

the street door buying provisions from a peddler.

remained on the mattress listening

at

to her voice, her

Iranian voice, and to the peddler's voice, amazed and delighted and startled, as that he was in Iran.

whispering,

is it

if

He

now

he had just

discovered

smiled and shook his head,

really true that I

am

back here, and

—

Old City and I am in a home a woman's home? It's as though I had never been anywhere else, as though I had always been here, right here, in this hut, in this room. Am I the same man, the same Darythat this

is

the

oush Aryana, who once walked in the called

New

York and London and

home

in these places, just as right

here?

Am

I

men, spoke nothing of

the same one

who

Paris,

now

just as right

and

I feel

felt at

at

home

lived with foreign wo-

different languages with

it,

streets of places

them thinking

now being with

this

woman

and speaking Iranian seems very natural? Is it all part of the same life? It all seems so disconnected and not all part of the same life and same world. It seems Safoura tiptoed into the room, and he turned his head and said, "I am awake, Safoura, you don't have to tip.

toe."

123

.

.

"Your morning be pleasant. I thought you were asleep and didn't want to disturb you." "I was listening to your voice. I could hear you bargaining with the peddler."

"You

Daryoush Khan, yesterday you didn't bargain with him and overpaid, so today I had difficulty see,

with him. a

He

kept saying go and bring the agha, he

good man, he doesn't bargain, he gives

You

him.

see, just

"It's true that I I

now he

is

hate to bargain, but he didn't cheat

gave him what he asked because he

him

a

little.

ask

greedy."

erished and a few tomans will not affect

help

I

because you hate to bargain he

cheated you yesterday and

me.

me what

is

me

is

impov-

but may

These poor people are the ones who

have been cheated, not those

who have and

give a

little

more."

"You good

are good yourself, agha,

in everything.

Daryoush Khan, that

and therefore

see the

God bless you. But you forget when people like you pay more,

who are poor will have to pay more too." Aryana shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know, I don't know. Come and sit here near me." She sat down on the mattress and averting her glance said, "Did you sleep well last night?" others

"I always sleep well

when I'm with

you.

It's

and quiet here I forget everything, even lems, and sleep very well." ful

"You know, you were night."

124

so peace-

my

prob-

talking in your sleep last

He

pressed her in his arms and said,

"What was

I

saying?"

She covered her knees with her derstand what you were saying.

dress. "I didn't

un-

You were mumbling

the whole time."

mumbling?" He stared at her and frowned. "I think you are right, I think I had a dream. Yes, yes, I had a dream. Now I remember." He paused, stared at her and shook his head. "What a strange dream.

"Was

I

What a strange dream." "I

hope

it

was a good dream."

"What?" "I said "I

hope

I

dreamt

—

the bazaar

was a good dream."

was in the bazaar, or perhaps

I

wasn't

it

was an old quarter, with dark, narrow

it

as in the bazaar,

alleys,

quiet.

it

and

it

was

all

deserted and

was walking rapidly to reach a certain place, or

I

remember now what it was, but I kept losing my way. I would think I had found my way, but then suddenly realize I was in the wrong alley again and I would get worried and run and run and

find something, I don't

run.

seemed

It

I

was running the whole time, and

went around and around

in a circle,

and couldn't

I

get

Then, I think I heard some people, yes, I heard some people, perhaps they were friends, they were laughing and talking aloud in another alley, and out of

I

it.

ran to catch up with them, but

alley they weren't there,

another

alley,

and

I

and

went

I

after

when

I

got to the next

heard them again in

them

again, as

if

125

we

were

all

and seek. As own voice from afar, and

playing, what's that game, hide

was running,

I

heard

my

stopped and laughed, perhaps worriedly, then

up with my

catch

from somewhere

else. I

wondered how from my body.

think

it

but

voice,

it

I

ran to

me and issued catch my breath and

eluded

stopped to

could be that

I

I

my

voice had separated

then got worried and thought must find my voice, put it back where it belongs, or I would be a body without a voice. Curious to see if now that my voice had decided to play hide and seek with me I could still utter a sound, I opened my mouth, and was shocked to see and hear, that at all costs,

I

I

I

pouring volubly out of

my

mouth, unintelligible,

in-

coherent vapors of sound, in a language that defied

comparison with anything

have ever heard.

I

stop myself, struggled to close

my

berish oozed out of

over

my

skin,

body. Thinking

I

my

tried to

mouth, but the gib-

out of

was on

I

my

pores,

fire, I

from

all

ran and ran,

and I think once again I was chasing my voice which seemed to leap from alley to alley and I lost my way again and I don't think I remember any more." "That was quite a dream, Daryoush Khan. God willing, it was not a bad dream, there was laughter in it, your friends, running and playing hide and seek and ." let's see, what else Aryana sat up shaking his head. "That was a strange

—

.

.

dream. Didn't you understand anything

I

said in

my

sleep?"

you were mumbling and I couldn't understand you. Look, Daryoush Khan, don't think about "As

I said,

126

good dream. I know that seeing the bazaar in a dream is a good omen. One of my friends dreamt about the bazaar once, and later it

any more. God willing,

she got married. Here,

a

it is

lie

down and

rub your

I'll

back."

He

lay

his neck, I'll

down and back and

she knelt beside

legs.

fetch your breakfast

Then you

"When

I finish

and you can

can rest and

him and rubbed eat

rubbing you, it

right here.

go prepare lunch.

I'll

What

would you like to eat?" "Anything you want no wait, let me see, I may not be able to come back for lunch. I must go after my

—

identity card today."

and

said,

stay here today too.

Why

She continued rubbing told

me you would

his legs

"But you don't you

go there tomorrow?" "I better go today, Safoura, I didn't go there yester-

day and

must go today." "Turn the other way and I'll rub you." "I must go now Safoura." "Why are you suddenly in a hurry to leave? Turn the other way and let me finish rubbing you." Aryana turned the other way and she gently rubbed it is

his chest

getting late.

and

legs.

I

"You do

relaxing, so relaxing.

What

so well, Safoura.

it

It's

are you doing, Safoura?

please. Wait. Safoura. Safoura

." .

.

127

so

No

s He

stayed there

night with that ing,

all

day and spent another gratifying

woman

of the

Old

City. In the

immediately after breakfast, he

through several

left.

He

mornwalked

before reaching a thoroughfare

alleys,

and finding a taxi. He got out at the Police Headquarters and went into the main building. In the crowded hall he stopped a police officer, asked for help, and was directed to Lieutenant Azarnoush, at the end of the corridor. ridor,

He

walked

knocked and went

in.

to the last

room

in the cor-

Several officers were sitting

some working or talking with visitors, others reading the morning papers. Aryana asked for Lieutenant Azarnoush, and was directed to the end of at their desks,

the large room.

"Lieutenant Azarnoush,

may

I

speak with you a mo-

ment?"

The

lieutenant half arose from his chair and said,

"Yes, yes, agha, please

sit

down. What can

I

do for

you?"

Aryana

sat

down. "I have

lost

my

identity card

and

have gone to the Bureau of Civil Registration to apply for a

new

one.

But

it

seems, because

I

don't

know 129

the

number

my

of

my

card and have no available evidence of

Iranian origin,

must

I

first

get a written statement

from the Police Department that Iran and

was born here in

I

am Iranian."

"I have heard of people losing their identity cards,

but

I

don't think I've heard of anyone not knowing the

number possible

mean how

of his birth registration. I

—surely

is

this

you must have some document a school

driver's license,

certificate,

property

—

state-

—that has the num-

ments, something, some document

ber of your identity card." "Lieutenant,

if I

complication and

I

had a document there would be no wouldn't be here now. But I have

lived abroad since I was a

young boy and have no

Ira-

nian documents."

"What

is

your nationality, agha,

I

mean your

origi-

nal nationality?"

"What do you mean what Iranian,

what

else? I

is

my

nationality?

I

am

have already said a thousand times

that I am Iranian, I was always Iranian, born of Moslem Iranian parents." The lieutenant was silent a few moments. "Well, I am sorry to tell you that this is not an easy problem.

In

fact

it is

very

difficult. It will

take at least two, three

months before we can issue the statement you need." "Two, three months? But why? At the Bureau of Civil Registration they said that it is a simple thing and can be issued quickly."

"They have nothing sponsibility

130

and

I

am

to

do with

telling

you

it

it.

This

is

our

re-

will take that long."

"But Lieutenant, why does All you have to do

is

they can easily check

The

call

my

up

it

have to take that long?

the airport right

now and

passport.'*

lieutenant smiled and said,

"It

is

not that

Your passport may no longer be at the airport, it may now be here at the Police Department and may entail a lot of running around to locate it." "Is there anyone else here who can help me?" simple.

"I don't know," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "I

don't think so."

He

sat

up

in his chair

and turning

look at Aryana, added, "Don't misunderstand, say I can't self;

have done ins

and

A

do

I'm sure

I

it.

I

would be honored

can take care of

this sort of

outs.

But

it

to help

don't

you my-

for you, because I

know

thing before, and

as I said, I will

I

to

have to

all

the

." .

.

policeman walked to the desk, saluted, then bent

over and whispered in the lieutenant's ear. Lieutenant

Azarnoush got up

instantly, told

Aryana

to wait, then

rushed out of the room, followed by the policeman.

Aryana

sat heavily,

weighed down with disappoint-

ment. For although his determination to leave the country had receded during the two days he had reveled with Safoura in her retreat,

shortly

after

he

emerged into the open the old restlessness took hold of him, and each collision with the surrounding world deepened his impatience to get out. He got up and walked to the front of the room, then back. He walked back and forth several times, turning to look at the

out.

One

door each time someone came in or went

of the officers in front of the

room motioned 131

to

him with

head and

his

Aryana went

"Can I help you, agha?" desk and said, "I am wait-

said,

closer to his

ing for Lieutenant Azarnoush. difficult to get a certificate

stating that

is

am

if it

is

from the Police Department

an Iranian?"

you are Iranian

"If

"I

one

Do you know

isn't difficult at all."

it

Iranian and was born here in Teheran, but

Lieutenant Azarnoush says

it is

difficult to

obtain this

statement and will take at least two, three months."

The want "It's

officer stared at

to say anything,"

not

Aryana and smiled. "I don't he

said, raising his

eyebrows.

my business."

"I don't understand

why

the lieutenant says

it

will

take so long."

The

smiled again and muttered, "You say you

officer

are Iranian but

way business "I've

is

been

it

seems you are not familiar with the

handled here." ."

.

.

He motioned

to

Aryana

to

come

closer,

then whis-

you what you must do, but let it stay us. I'm telling you this only because you seem a complete stranger here. Give the lieutenant something and he'll take care of you." Aryana stared at him questioningly. "I don't think I pered,

"I'll tell

between

understand what you mean.

What

is

it

I

should give

him?" "Ey, as

want,

much

as

you

like

—

thirty or forty or,

fifty."

"You mean

The 132

officer

I

should give him money?"

nodded.

if

you

Aryana stared

at

him, his eyebrows meeting. "But

why should I give him money? give him anything."

I

don't see

why

I

should

"So he will take care of your work."

"But then

why

"It's a

duty to take care of

his

it's

this

work.

mean,

I

he here?"

is

gesture of appreciation, and your

work

will

be taken care of more promptly."

"But

this

is

statement that to

do

ridiculous I

am

that, I

am

—

I

have to bribe him to get a

Iranian. Look, agha,

not asking a favor.

don't have to bribe anyone to prove

"Shh! Not so loud, agha. this

Do

am

I

I

Iranian and

it."

you want,

as

don't have

I told

you

only to be of help."

"Yes,

I

understand,

I

understand," Aryana

ing not to raise his voice.

thing like that. officer,

pride,

he

some

It's

"It's just that I can't

not right.

I

mean

a lieutenant, surely he

is

self-respect,

and

if I

will certainly feel offended, take

throw the money

at

said, striv-

this

man

is

an

must have some

try to bribe it

do a

as

him, he

an affront and

my face. I am sure you've made a am sure, because after all, this is

mistake, Mr. Officer, I plainly nothing

more than

bribery, cheap dirty brib-

ery."

"Watch your tongue, are saying,

you

is

you are being abusive.

not cheap, dirty bribery.

many people country do

am

it,

know what you What I suggested to

agha, you don't

It is

something that

some very fine people here in our and no one questions them. Of course, I

do,

aware there are also people here who don't believe 133

in giving or in taking, that

know very

is

their business.

that Lieutenant Azarnoush,

upright

fine,

officer,

is

who by

But

way

the

I

is

a

always grateful for such

kindnesses."

"Well,

if

he

is

work only

ple's

the sort of

if

official

who

attends to peo-

you give him money a

cote, I

would

rather go to one of the other officers." "Fine, agha, fine, go to any of the other officers in

Only

the back.

me

let

tell

you

that with this attitude

you won't get anywhere." Aryana walked

room, lingered by

to the front of the

the door, angry, dejected, unsure what to do.

opened the door and went into the can

else

go about

I

ing at the

and

that.

the

filth

it isn't

and

officers

Perhaps

now and

right

this,

I

hurried this way

in that back room. It

in that back

If I

who

should go and report

room

the other rooms, what

him.

civilians

He

if

only,

what

Where

to himself, look-

find a senior officer, tell

and mess

take bribes?

he muttered

corridor.

He

this. I'll

go

him about

all

is

my—what

if it is

if

the same in

the senior officers themselves

stopped abruptly and stared around

could only get out of here.

If I

could only get

out of this country.

He see

began

now?

I

to

walk again, thinking, who can

I

go and

can't go back into that room. I just can't

bring myself to yield to such greedy pressures. Perhaps I

am

I

were

I

would do what the others do and think nothing

not entitled to this statement after really Iranian, I

134

all,

because

wouldn't be sensitive to

if

all this,

of

it.

It's

just that I've never

ing. Please

come

—"I am sorry

kept you wait-

I

into the room."

Aryana stared

at

Lieutenant Azarnoush.

"Why did you tell me it will "I am sorry, I can't stand

take two, three months?"

discuss this. It

room and we

is

stonily

not proper. Please come back into the

will talk

about

Aryana hesitated, then back to the room. "Please were we,

here in the corridor and

it."

slowly, reluctantly

down.

sit

remember, you've

yes, I

walked

where

Let's see,

lost

your identity

card and need proof that you are Iranian. Well, as told you, this

"Why do it is

and

easy,

is

not easy. In

you say I,

fact, it is

it is difficult,

myself,

know

that

very difficult."

when everyone it is

says

easy."

"You've been misinformed, Mr. Aryana. easy because

I

It is

not

you have no evidence that you are

Ira-

nian."

"But

I

told

you about

my

passport and

have with

I

me two letters of introduction." "All this will take time to check, and as if I

weren't so busy right

now I

"Look Lieutenant, what

could

.

told you,

.

must do statement from the Police Department?"

"What

I

."

is it I

to get this

supplication can I make? I've given you

all

facts, it's up to you what you want to do." As the lieutenant pored over the papers on his desk, Aryana slowly drew out his wallet, removed thirty

the

tomans. if

he

What

if

this

feels offended,

is

makes a scene here

of attempting to bribe

What and accuses me

not enough, he thought.

him?

He

glanced at the lieuten135

ant from the corners of his eyes, removed another ten

tomans from

What

did

must be very

shall

I

word

now?

it

that attendant at Sepenta's door the

other day? But this I

How

his wallet.

I tell

is

not a doorman, this

—involuntarily

his

is

an

officer,

hand went out and

deposited the forty tomans on the lieutenant's desk.

The

head shot up

lieutenant's

he

as

"What

said,

is this,

agha?"

"This

is

just

—please

"You embarrass me,

He

your kindness."

." .

.

am

agha. I

discountenanced by

quietly put the

drawer. "This was really not necessary,

your service anyway.

I

am

money I

am

in

his

always at

your servant, what can

I

do

for you?"

"As

I

you

told

I

need a statement from the Police

."

Department "This is a very simple matter, I'll be honored to help you. Here is a sheet of paper and you can use this pen; .

.

write

down simply

Police

Department

ality.

you would

that

certificate of

Just write this and

I'll

like to request a

your Iranian nation-

take care of the rest for

you."

Aryana wrote what the lieutenant had told him and handed over the paper. "You have an interesting handwriting," Lieutenant Azarnoush said. "I see that two,

three words here have been misspelled, probably be-

cause you wrote this in a hurry. I'll

correct

them

for you,

arouse any doubts."

He

and returned the paper 136

it

With your permission

will look better

and not

corrected the misspelled words to

Aryana. "Please sign

it

here

and here and here." Aryana signed was

told,

his application as

then the lieutenant signed

that's necessary.

Now

"This

it.

he all

is

just take this to His Excellency

Major Heermand, have him approve it, then bring it right back to me and I'll have the statement ready for you in one day." Aryana went into the corridor, crossed the crowded and was guided by a policeman to Major Heermand's room. Three officers sitting at large desks were chatting, and when Aryana entered the room, they hall

turned their heads to look

at

him, then continued chat-

Aryana approached the nearest desk and asked for Major Heermand. "Yes, agha, I am Major Heermand."

ting.

"I have this application for a Police

statement about

my

Azarnoush has signed it

Department

Iranian nationality; Lieutenant it

and has instructed me

to bring

here for your signature."

"Come back tomorrow."

am

"I

look into

in a hurry, Major; I will it

be grateful

if

you

now."

"I said tomorrow, agha."

"But

I

can't

keep running after

this

every day."

am sorry, I am very busy right now."

"I

"It just requires

your signature."

"I have very important

work

to attend to.

Come

back another day."

Aryana placed

his application

on the

of the Major. "If you'll only look at

that -

it is

As

the

a very brief application

Major glanced

—

it

desk, in front

Major, you'll see

just

two sentences."

at the application,

he shook 137

his

head and

out of the question,

said, "It's

have the time to do anything about

—what

is

I

don't

this

name

here?"

my signature,

"That's

Daryoush Aryana."

"Are you Aryana?" "Yes,

my name is Aryana."

"Tell me, are you related Abdullah Aryana?"

"Abdullah Aryana?

"He

in a

is

"Why

suddenly. Please

sit

—what was

never ..."

related to

don't you

my sit

He

wife."

stood

up

down, Mr. Aryana?

up your time." not taking up my time. I was

want

are

to take

here chatting with

my

waited for Aryana to

colleagues. Please

sit

sit

down, then he too

think he was the great-granduncle of I

name

his

down."

"I don't

"You

way

I've

to

my

down."

sat

He

down. "I

wife's cousin.

understand he was a remarkable man.

father was also a remarkable

just sitting

My

wife's

man. Hajj Hussein Ali

Abbassi was his name, I'm sure you have heard of him.

He had character, he had dignity, integrity. You don't find men like that any more. Those days are gone. They are gone." He lowered his voice to a whisper. "Who are these men we see all around us nowadays? They

are of

no use

to

anybody, they are not worth the

skin of an onion."

The major nisced, "I

sat

back in his chair smiling

remember

—may they both

this

rest in

he remi-

Hajj Abbassi and his partner

peace

—they always argued and

accused each other of cheating.

138

as

It

seemed

as

though

backgammon, and imhonesty. But of course, they were

they always argued, even over

pugned each

other's

both unimpeachably honest. honest. Yes, I

ent

.

.

The

am

sure.

Men

am

I

they were

sure

were

in those days

differ-

."

other two

and began to gather application Aryana said,

officers arose

their papers. Indicating his

"This only requires your signature

"Dear Mr. Doctor, don't worry attend to

it

myself,

it

will

." .

.

about

at all

this. I'll

you want and chat and I'll also

be a privilege.

If

come back tomorrow, we will sit wait a minute, I just remembered, tomorrow is the birthday of the eighth Imam." "You mean the office will be closed?'' "Of course, of course. Please come back the day after

—

tomorrow."

He went there

is

away, disheartened and confused.

an insidious scheme to keep

these people are all

from leaving? his suspicion.

me

here?

working hand in hand

to

What if What if stop me

He shook his head and tried to dislodge He told himself that the frustration of

not being able to extricate himself had probably infected his mind, inclining

him

to these

unhealthy sup-

positions.

Two

days later he went back to the Police Depart-

ment. Major Heermand jumped up and extended his hand, "Salaam, salaam. privilege of seeing

Mr. Doctor. There

I

am

you again. is

much

I

overjoyed to have the I

beg you to

can learn in

sit

down

this audi-

ence."

139

"Major, "I

am

am

not a doctor," Aryana interposed.

You know, I told my wife about had the other day to meet you. I told her, Mr. Engineer Aryana, who is a very refined and very sorry.

the honor I said,

I

I

learned gentleman, and related to Abdullah Aryana,

gave

me

pleased.

the honor of a

One

visit.

She was very, very

you must grace our humble

of these days

hut and share a morsel or two with us." "I

would

like that,

will be a pleasure."

it

out the application from his pocket and

remember,

mentioned

I

application needs your

to

you

last

He

brought

said, "If

time that

you this

signature ..."

What

"Yes, yes, of course.

is

it

about, Mr. Engi-

neer?"

Aryana told him about efforts to

obtain a

tively before

new

one.

his identity card

The major

and

his

listened atten-

reading the brief application. "This

is

You don't need evidence from the Police Department. Of course you are Iranian. What are you,

laughable.

if

not Iranian?" told them this too. But it is no no evidence that I am Iranian statement from the Police Department

"I have protested use.

They

and must have

a

before they issue a

"They quired

and

said there

is

new

identity card."

you shouldn't be reDepartment statement." have this application now and

are out of their minds,

to obtain a Police

"Well, anyway,

I

Lieutenant Azarnoush has promised that just as

you sign and approve 140

it

as

he will take care of the

soon rest."

"I

must sign and approve

the major retorted,

it?"

staring at the application.

what he

"Yes, that's

He

said.

said that

it's

a simple

thing and he can take care of the rest himself." "Yes,

approve

it?

but why must

a simple matter,

it is

I

Don't misunderstand, Mr. Aryana,

absolutely no objection to

But you

this, I

and

sign I

have

have no objection

at

you the truth, it's not easy for me to approve it. I must have orders from above." "But Lieutenant Azarnoush said that your approval all.

see, to tell

will suffice."

The major thought a moment, shifted and said, "The lieutenant is mistaken. It's of

his position,

better

if

one

my superiors first approved it." "But

this

is

just a statement

tionality, I don't see

"Well, if I first

ties

it's

why you

not that

I

can't

have orders. As soon

approves

it,

I

about

can't

myself will

I'll

it."

it, it's

just better

one of the high authori-

jump

into the arena for

you, swing into action and take care of

now

Iranian na-

approve

approve as

my

it.

In

fact,

right

arrange for you to meet Colonel Bourmand,

one word from him and the whole thing will be taken care of within two minutes."

He

an attendant came

"I

agha upstairs to see

rang a bell and when

want you to take this His Excellency Mr. Doctor Colonel in, said,

Bourmand."

141

9 Aryana followed the attendant upstairs and entered a small room. A young officer standing behind a table nodded and said, "Mr. Engineer Aryana?" Aryana nodded and the young officer said, "Please sit down. Excellency Major

Heermand

just called

me

you

to say

were coming."

Aryana

sat

down and waited. He waited about

fifteen

minutes, then began to consider going downstairs to see

Lieutenant Azarnoush

when

the door opened and an

came in. He went to the table and whispered to the young officer, "Watch for a Mr. Aryana who will come up here. He is the son of the uncle of the cousin of Major Heermand's wife make sure his request is officer

—

fulfilled

immediately."

Indicating Aryana with a slight motion of his head, the

He and

young is

officer

whispered, "That's Mr. Aryana there.

waiting to see the colonel.

see

if I

can arrange to have

I will

him

go right away

see the colonel

right now."

He opened When,

after

and went into an adjacent room. a few minutes, he came back, he said, "Mr. a door

Aryana, there are several people in the next room

who

143

have been waiting two, three hours to see the colonel."

Winking and

smiling, he whispered,

"But

I've

maneu-

vered things so you can go in there before them."

"But I

if

they've been waiting longer,

not fair that

it's

go in before them."

"Don't worry, don't worry. Let them wait. They probably have nothing important anyway." the door and motioned to Aryana to go officers

and

civilians,

were

sitting hat in

He opened

Several men,

in.

hand, waiting

and they all looked up when Aryana came in. The young officer crossed the room, opened another door and motioned to Aryana to go in. The colonel, a tall, bald man, was sitting behind a to see the colonel,

large, well-polished desk, talking

with two

visitors.

He

when Aryana came in, and extended his hand. "I am delighted," he mumbled as they shook hands, "What can I do for you?"

half arose

Aryana brought out

his application

set it

Heermand

desk in front of the colonel. "Major to bring this application here for

and

on the

told

me

your signature and

approval."

The

colonel glanced at the application and shook his

head. "I don't understand self didn't

easily

approve your application.

approved

"He "He "I'll

He

could have

it."

had to have orders." didn't need orders from anyone." be grateful if you sign and approve said he

"Fine, leave

it

here,

"Won't you approve 144

why Major Heermand him-

I'll it

approve

right

it

this."

for you."

now?"

"I can't right now, as

But

I

will take care of

it

you

see I

am

very busy today.

for you, so don't worry."

"Then when shall I come back for it?" "Come back in three, four, five days." "Three, four,

"Look agha,

five days?

But

that's

you

I've given

my

very late."

promise to approve

Now

you have nothing more to worry about. Just be a little patient, after all you can't do

your paper.

things overnight."

"Very well then,

I'll

come back on Monday."

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday." "I'll come on Monday." "Come on Tuesday, to be sure." "I'll come on Tuesday, at eight o'clock." "Yes,

"Come "Then

at ten o'clock; ten, eleven, I'll

twelve o'clock."

be here on Tuesday

at exactly eleven

o'clock."

On

Tuesday, promptly

at eleven o'clock,

Aryana was

at the colonel's waiting-room.

He

expecting to be called, then

patience and asked the

officer

on duty

lost

sat a

few minutes

had arrived young officer The

to tell the colonel that he

for his eleven o'clock appointment.

went into the colonel's room and was back hardly a minute later. "His Excellency the Colonel said that he you now." "But I have an eleven o'clock appointment with him."

can't see

"His Excellency the Colonel said that he today,

and commanded me

to tell

you

to

is

very busy

come back one

day next week." 145

"Next week? What are you talking about? I can't come back next week. I have waited several days for this appointment. He said he would have my application ready today.

The

Where

officer stared at

my application?"

is

Aryana and shrugged

his shoul-

ders.

"Look, you must go back and

him

tell

him

must

I

see

right away/'

"Agha,

I

can't

keep disturbing him. There are guests

now.

in there right

He

wants you to come back next

week."

"No, no, right

I

won't wait any longer.

now and

there to

The

tell

get

him,

my

I'll

application. If

must

I

see

him

you don't go

in

go in there myself."

officer hesitated,

then slowly turned around and

went into the colonel's room. When, after a few minutes, he came back, he said, "His Excellency the Colonel will see you here tomorrow at exactly twelve o'clock noon."

The

next day, a few minutes before noon, Aryana

arrived at Colonel Bourmand's waiting room.

Only two

other men, embroiled in impenetrable whispers, were in the

room. Aryana

adjutant came o'clock

sat

down, and when the young

in, said that

he was present for his twelve

appointment with the colonel. "Yes, agha, I yesterday. The colonel has gone

remember you from out, but will be

back shortly."

He

Aryana remained seated and waited. minutes, ten minutes, twenty minutes.

.

.

.

waited

One

has to

wait and wait and wait in this country, he thought.

146

five

.

.

.

Thirty minutes, forty minutes.

.

.

.

He

got

paced the room, back and forth, back and

and .

.

.

forth.

This

.

is

.

.

An

incredible, this

is

back

degoutant, no one would

make appointments and

up, they just don't show up.

two hours, closing time. this officer?

forth,

hour, an hour and fifteen minutes.

believe this, people

is

up and

Where

is

.

.

.

.

.

.

don't show

An hour and

Where

is

this bastard?

this

a half,

man? Where

Overflowing with

anger and frustration he stormed out of the waiting

room and slammed

the door behind him. If I succeed

in getting out of this country,

back.

The thought

I'll

never, never

that he was trapped

come

and could

him and he felt long running down his back.

not get out suddenly seized streams of perspiration

He went

downstairs, walked back and forth in the

crowded corridor, wondering what

to do.

He

thought

Kourosh Firouzan, and quickly decided to go after him and ask for his help. He hurried back to the large central hall, and was leaving the building when he heard someone calling his name. He stopped, turned around and saw Major Heermand walking toward him. 'Salaam, Mr. Engineer," he said of his only friend,

'

saluting.

Aryana nodded, but remained sullen and grave. Holding Aryana's arm, the Major said, "My dear Aryana, on the life of my children, I swear I am very, very ashamed that I have not fulfilled your command. I

understand Colonel Bourmand has not been able to

you yet. I have been thinking about your application and have come up with a quick plan, a short cut

see

147

your identity card. Major Andriman, a

for obtaining

mine and

colleague of

a very

good

friend,

is

the

nephew

of His Excellency General Andriman who, as you

know,

the Minister of

is

politics. I've

and

told

and identity

word

—

just

in

card,

us. I

and he has promised

needn't

one word at all

tell

you,

my

to

have his

friend, that

one

—from the general and you won't about a Police Department

state-

or even have to run after the people at the

Bureau be

man

of this business about your nationality

have to worry

ment

influential

already spoken with the major about you

him

uncle help

War and an

of Civil Registration.

Your

good as obtained." Aryana stared at him and shook

identity card will

as

know what

to say. I

have wasted so

now

his head. "I don't

much

time running

." know Major Heermand took hold of Aryana's arm again and gently pushing him forward, said, "Come now, don't be angry. You are just not familiar with the way things are handled here. If we hurry now, the major may still be in his office." They hurried through the corridor, and entered the

after false promises that

office

I

just don't

next to Major Heermand's room.

.

An

.

officer

was

on his desk and seeing Major Heermand, saluted and smiled. Major Heermand made the introductions, tilting his head to one side, then to the other, "Excellency Mr. Engineer Aryana. Excellency Major Andriman. Mr. Engineer is a very, very learned gentleman, speaks many, many languages and has been all over the world. Major Andri-

hastily gathering the papers

148

man

is

one of the most capable

He is one am honored, I am

Department. "I

said as

honored," Major Andriman

he shook hands with Aryana. "I

whelmed with your condescension, beg you to

They said,

please

am

sit

over-

down.

I

down." remained standing and Major Heermand

sit

all

"Mr. Engineer

the agha I told

is

"Yes, yes, I realized that. It

your acquaintance.

mand

the Police

officers in

of the ..."

has told

My

is

you about."

a privilege to

make

venerable friend Major Heer-

me much

about you. Of course,

a very inconsequential officer here, but

I

am

be honored

I'll

my

whatever service you command.

I

am

uncle will be very pleased to help. In fact

I

was rushing

to render

out

now

to see him. If

you are

free,

sure

perhaps we can go

together."

Major Andriman and Aryana hurried through the corridor and went out of the building. They called a taxi, told the driver to rush and settled back in their seats. Major Andriman stared out of the window, but more than once turned his head to say something, thought better of it, and turned his head again to stare out of the window. He was a tall, dark man, with a becoming mustache, and uncommonly attractive in his uniform. But watching him, one had the impression that he was not comfortable in his uniform, and he appeared more embarrassed than proud. Unlike most of his fellow officers safety of their

man

who seldom ventured

uniforms even

at

out of the

home, Major Andri-

preferred civilian clothes, and wore his uniform

149

only at work. "I understand you were in America and

Europe," he said

flatly,

almost resentfully.

Aryana muttered an affirmative reply. "Did you enjoy your stay abroad?" "Yes,

." I

.

.

Major whispered. "Sometimes I want to pack up whatever I have and go far away, just go away from here. Then, there are times "Let

when for

I tell

me,

seat

stay

it

this

between

us,"

myself that this is

my

is,

fatherland."

the

after

He

all,

the best place

sank deeper in his

and looking up at Aryana, said, "What do you I should do, Mr. Engineer? Do you think I'll be

think

happy if I go abroad? To tell you the want to betray anyone here, but it's just thinking recently that

My to

father

if I

truth, I don't

that I've

been

lived abroad I'd be happier.

and grandfather were

also officers

and rose

high ranks and they never thought of leaving their

country and uniform. But

I

always say that times have

changed and things aren't quite the same. Don't you agree that that

times

have changed?

Don't you

agree

." .

.

"Yes, everything changes ..."

"Of course they change, of course they change. That's what I always say. I am glad you think this way too. There are people who think that if you leave your country and live abroad you are betraying someone or something. But that's stupid, isn't it? To tell you the truth, I myself thought this way too, but it's stupid to think this way. As you said, everything changes. When our parents and grandparents lived, everything was 150

from the moment he was the moment he died, was laid down. Isn't that

different. Everyone's place,

born

to

right?"

"Yes, everyone's place in life was clearly defined,

everyone knew where he was going, even after death." ''Exactly, exactly.

The Ruler

lieved that his position

it

stayed rich, or grew a a

little richer,

businessman and

we

as

was be-

was God's

it

he rule and that his subjects obey.

will that

mained

ruled and

was absolute, that

The

rich

the businessman reall

remember when

he died his sons automatically took over the business.

Women

had

their fixed places, servants

ants, beggars

remained beggars, and

am

their villages. Isn't that right? I

were happy with their

lot,

but

remained

serv-

villagers stayed in

not saying that they at least

knew

they

where they were and somehow accepted their lot. Don't you agree? Everything was kismet and that was that. But now things are changing. People are beginning to move, they no longer accept any

my to

friends,

move

everyone

is

life.

ica,

"My

quote one of

beginning to push, they want

up, they want to

move

out."

visibly pleased with the conversation,

Aryana.

To

He

sat

moved

up and, closer to

son dreams of going to college in Amer-

my daughter is already

talking of singing lessons in

Rome, my wife would like us all to move back to her native village in Mazenderan and as for me, well, I am ." confused. Sometimes I want to The taxi stopped at a gate on the old Shemiran Road. As they alighted from the car, Aryana began to .

.

pay, but the major quickly seized his hand, at the

same

151

time furiously digging into his

Mr. Engineer,

please,

I

won't

own

pockets. "Please,

you pay.

let

It's

out of

the question."

"The money

is

here in

my hand

"Absolutely not. Absolutely not "It's

me

"But

to pay.

it's

"Still, I it's

honor.

here

is

.

.

."

you pay," the major shouted,

ging in his pockets.

dren,

.

ready here."

"I won't let

Allow

." .

I'll

find

dig-

out of the question. Please. in a

it

minute

." .

.

only two tomans."

won't

let

you pay.

impossible. I beg

I'll

find

it

the money."

152

"It's

still

On

you

in a minute.

the

life

to give

Here

it

of

me is,

my

chil-

this small

here

it

is,

10 Major Andriman pushed the gate and begged Aryana to enter first. They walked through a large garden where many private and official limousines were parked, their black-suited chauffeurs gathered in small

Three or four of bowed and salaamed when they saw

groups, talking.

couple of servants

way

who had been

these chauffeurs

the major;

and

standing by the

in front of the house rushed forward,

one of them reported that the guests had

a

stair-

bowed, and all

arrived

and the conference had begun.

About

forty or fifty political figures

ministers, ex-ministers, erals,

members

and other high ranking

the vast, elegant living room.

—government

of parliament, gen-

officials

were gathered in

They were

all sitting

on

ornate couches and easy armchairs, and the small coffee tables in front of

them were covered with

tall glasses

of

sharbat, glasses of tea ensconced in filigreed silver holders,

and

cacies.

crystal jars rich

An

carpets,

with a variety of nuts and

deli-

old servant, walking lightly on the thick

went back and

forth, serving tea, fruits,

and

lighting cigarettes.

-Major Andriman tiptoed into the living room, and a 153

few minutes

later

came back

into the hall

and

told

Aryana that the dignitaries were in conference and that they would have to wait till the meeting was over to speak with General Andriman, the Minister of War. The major said that he didn't think the meeting would take long, because the dignitaries had not had lunch,

and

them had other important conferences to in the afternoon. Aryana sat down and the

several of

attend early

major, after talking in whispers with two

men who were

standing in the hall not far away, slowly opened one of the side doors to the living room, and quietly tiptoed in again.

Aryana was sipping

tea

when, a few minutes

later,

he suddenly turned his head and saw Major Andriman

beckoning

to

living room.

him from the partially opened door of the Aryana got up, quietly went to the door,

and the major, placing

a forefinger over his pursed lips,

him to be quiet, opened the door a little wider and let him in. They stood in a narrow alcove, hidden from the living room by thick curtains that covindicated to

ered

all

the doorways. "Instead of sitting in the hall,"

the major whispered in Aryana's ear, "I thought

might find

it

more

interesting to stand here. That's

you

my

uncle there, the general sitting beneath the huge painting at the other end of the room.

Aryana nodded

as

him?"

see

he looked through one of the thin

partings in the curtains.

The man on

Do you

his right

"He

—do you

is

War. fat and

the Minister of

see

bald, well, not that one, the next

him?

—he

is

one has a mustache,

not that one either, but the next one, that's Ara, the 154

Great Leader's right-hand man. This it is

he

who

his

is

house and

has called this emergency meeting."

They

both peered through the parting and watched the gentlemen in conference. "That agha

now

is

Afrashteh.

He

released last month.

who

is

talking right

spent a year in prison and was

They say he will soon be appointed

Prime Minister."

"Who

that

is

one

sitting alone

on the couch?" Ary-

ana whispered. "That's His Highness Prince Alvand, the Leader of Leaders' younger brother. His Highness to the Great

Leader on

is

very close

Leader and usually accompanies the Great

official visits

abroad."

"Yes, yes, I read about a recent trip.

They had gone

abroad to borrow money for the government, but

it

seems the Leader's wife attended receptions given in their honor, laden with fabulous jewelry valued at

sum they had come to borrow." "Shh!" Major Andriman put his finger to his lips. "You must be very, very careful, Mr. Engineer. They

more than

the

don't like people to discuss such things." "I

am

not discussing

it.

I

read this in foreign papers

when I was abroad recently." "That agha who is now whispering

to

Faraz, the present Minister of Finance.

my

uncle

They

is

say he

may be arrested soon and put in prison." "What has he done?" "This agha who just arose and is now crossing the room is Doctor Barbod, Iran's top chest surgeon. He is "Minister

of Roads,

but they say he wants to be Prime 155

—

when he was that's Ara speaking what he has to say."

Minister. Last year, right now,

let's see

"... again, and Ara, a short

frail

we

are all very, very honored," Mr.

man, was

Highness

saying, "that His

Prince Alvand has condescended to grace this gathering

Our Great

of his servants with his exalted footsteps.

Leader of Leaders, ever sympathetic aspirations of his people, has

needs and

to the

commanded me

to invite

the venerable gentlemen to this conference to attend to

some

Again

very, very pressing matters.

I

must beg

forgiveness for having deranged the venerable gentle-

men

at this

uncomfortable hour, but Your Excellencies

now

are all aware of the grave problems

country.

facing our

Troublemakers, communists, impolite

stu-

dents and other misguided elements are generating unrest,

shouting slogans in the

defying even our

streets,

Sacred Leader, circulating pamphlets, making

all sorts

and charging the government with corruption and tyranny. Of course, all the good and decent people of our beloved country are deeply shocked at these agitations, these uncouth violations of rules and

of threats,

conventions.

We know that the charges against the gov-

ernment are

all false.

The government

is

neither cor-

rupt nor tyrannical. All the honest and decent and

hardworking people in are

all

this

country

know

this.

They

completely devoted to their Great Leader of

Leaders and there

is

nothing to fear

." .

.

"That's right, that's right," one of the gentlemen interposed. "All the decent people are behind our

Sublime Leader of Leaders. There 156

is

nothing to fear."

"That's right," Mr. Ara continued, "There

is

noth-

ing to fear. Nevertheless, the Great Leader, always seek-

ing to please

all his

people and help them progress, has

once again decided to take some very bold, progressive

which

steps,

will

once more win the everlasting

tude of our people, and the praise of people the world. First of

all,

he

is

determined

grati-

all

over

to obliterate

corruption. Already two policemen have been arrested in

charges of corruption, and in a day or

Kerman on

two, they will be sentenced to

life

imprisonment, or

may even be executed, to show the government's good faith. Our Great Leader will discuss this in his speech Meeting tomorrow.

at the People's

"He

will also proclaim to the people his determina-

tion to bring a real

democracy to our country. But

today, in the presence of His Highness the Prince, the

me

Great Leader of Leaders commanded

to confer

immediately with Your Excellencies, and try as possible to establish a real

He

democracy.

as

quickly

has already

spoken with several of the venerable gentlemen about this,

and has

said that

one-party system.

It is

he

is

very displeased with this

not democratic.

It

does not allow

opportunities for opposition to the government.

now determined to have system, and has commanded us

Great Leader democratic ately

form two

countries.

party

is

One

political parties, as in all

party will be in

—the other party

already

summoned His

will

power

Our

a just and to

immedi-

democratic

—the majority

be the opposition.

He

has

Excellency Mr. Doctor Kiana 157

and ordered him

to

head the opposition party. In a few

minutes, His Excellency Mr. Doctor Kiana will read

names

the

of the venerable gentlemen

appointed to

who

who have been

Those gentlemen

this opposition party.

are not present here will be notified later

me

"Excellency Mr. Ara, please forgive

rupting Your Excellency, but

." .

.

for inter-

."

I

.

.

"Please, please, I beg you." ".

want

I

.

.

understand

to say that I

understand

opposition party.

this

fault,

that

or in any

I

—thank you,

way

Of

object,

but

—

I just

have been appointed to

want

to find

like to

submit

course, I don't I

would

have never belonged to any group or party op-

posing a government, and to feel

I

thank you

tell

you the

comfortable in such a party.

patriotic,

I

and an obedient servant

truth,

I

don't

have always been of

our Sublime

Leader of Leaders. Besides, the honorable ministers are

my

all

friends, I feel

would be very

no hatred or enmity

grateful

if I

for them. I

could be transferred to the

other party."

"Excellency Mr. Mehravan," Mr. Ara his

head

everyone

to the is

said,

bowing

gentleman he was addressing, "I think

well aware of your patriotism and the in-

valuable services you have rendered our Great Leader

and the country. The Leader himself is aware of your unflinching loyalty and faithfulness and feels that you can be most effective in the opposition party. Of course, in a few months we can make changes, and if, at that time, Your Excellency and other members of the oppo158

sition

would

there will be

like to serve in the other party, I

am

sure

no objection."

Mr. Mehravan nodded and

sat

back in his armchair.

"As the venerable gentlemen know, in democratic countries the Prime Minister is head of the incumbent party. ica

Our

dear Prime Minister has just

left for

Amer-

to borrow money for the government; we will send

His Excellency a telegram and ask him to stay there

and rest a little. Of course, this is strictly confidential and must not be disclosed until, at least, tomorrow noon. At the beginning of this session one of the venerable gentlemen proposed His Excellency Mr. Afrash-

new Prime been suggested. Of teh as

Minister.

Another name has

also

course, I will bring all this to the

morn-

attention of the Great Leader. Meanwhile, this

summoned His ExShadan and made him Prime Minister." "Bah bah, congratulations," one of the gentlemen

ing the Great Leader of Leaders cellency Mr.

exclaimed, nodding in approval.

"This "Yes,

is

a very wise appointment."

it is

a very, very wise appointment.

Leader has once again demonstrated

his

Our Great

unique wis-

dom."

"No one

can deny that His Exalted Excellency Mr.

Shadan deserved this

this

honor.

I

don't think anyone in

country can claim to have been more

obedient to our Sublime Leader. Excellency right now,

Where

we would

is

loyal,

more

His Exalted

like to congratulate

him?" 159

"I think he

"But

plied.

gency meetings

ment

will

at the baths right

is

am

I

Of

this afternoon.

remain

now," Mr. Ara

re-

sure he will attend the other emercourse, this appoint-

strictly confidential until

The Great Leader

has also

commanded me

tomorrow. to

inform

the gentlemen that there will be only one other change in the cabinet.

The

Minister of Justice will be

placed. In view of Mr. Manoushan's services

and

re-

loy-

alty, his

brother, Mr. Engineer Manoushan, will be

new

Minister of Justice. All the other Honorable

the

Ministers will retain their posts.

more

on behalf

of your time;

I

will not take

of the

up any

Prime Minister

I

will read the

names

party, then

His Excellency Dr. Kiana will read the

names

of the

gentlemen in the incumbent

of the

members

of his opposition party.

our Great Leader commanded

form the gentlemen that

if

me

this

from time

Oh

morning

to time, the op-

position party expresses criticism in parliament,

bers of the other party

must

yes,

to in-

try not to feel

mem-

hurt or take

the criticism as personal affront."

"Of course not," General Andriman, the Minister of War, said. "We are all servants of the Great Leader and are working for the same cause." "That's right, that's right."

"Excellency Mr. Ara, ports about the exact will start, can

"The

you

tell

I

have heard conflicting

hour tomorrow's mass meeting us the ..."

tomorrow will start at maybe three-thirty. But

People's Mass Meeting

—

exactly three o'clock sharp

160

re-

or

because of the hordes of people

hear their Sacred Leader

I

cies arrive early, preferably

Mr. Ara then turned

who

will rush there to

suggest that

Your Excellen-

before three."

bowed

to the Prince,

his

head

"Your Highness, with your permission, I will now read the names of the incumbent party members." Major Andriman nudged Aryana, whispered, "Come, let's go into the hall. The conference will end in a minute and they will all dash out." In the hall, many people were now gathered, some standing, some sitting, all talking in whispers, waiting for the conference to end. Servants hurried back and forth, serving tea and refreshments. As the major and Aryana quietly left the living room and entered the hall, a short, middle-aged man rushed forward and whispered, "Cyrus, what's happening in there?" "To tell you the truth," Major Andriman muttered, and

said,

"nothing

is

happening.

"I understand

we

The

usual things."

will have

many

political parties

again."

"Two parties," Major Andriman whispered. "Two parties?" the man repeated, frowning. country

we

parties.

When

are

no

"In

this

no parties at all or five hundred the Leader rules with an iron fist there

either have

parties,

when

the iron rule loosens temporarily,

everybody forms a party."

The major stared at him and nodded. "Will there be any changes in the government?" the

man whispered. 161

''Let

it

stay

between you and me, Shadan has been

ordered to be Prime Minister/' "Really? Really? Shadan?" "Yes, let

"Of

it

stay

between

major whispered.

us," the

man

and turning around, called his friend who was standing behind him. "Shadan is the new Prime Minister," he whispered. course, of course," the

said,

"Shadan? Really?" "Yes, let there. It

is

it

stay

between

us.

Cyrus just heard

it

in

in strict confidence."

"Of course, of course. Let me tell Anoush." Major Andriman turned to Aryana and said, "My friend, wait here, I'll go back into the living room and see

if I

can speak with

my uncle."

Aryana walked about in the hall, looking at the picon the walls huge pictures of the Leader, and

—

tures

smaller pictures of Mr. Ara in Washington and Lon-

don.

A

servant brought

him

tea

on a

tray,

but he de-

clined. Another servant brought a tall glass of sharbat, and he declined that too. He watched the men as they

whispered excitedly among themselves, gesticulating, tilting their

heads to

this side

and

that.

He

stood at the

ornate entrance of the mansion, gazed at the long row of limousines

and

at their chauffeurs,

and

his eyes

wan-

dered through the limitless garden.

Major Andriman reappeared, put an arm over Aryana's shoulder and said, "Look my friend, I spoke with my uncle about you. I told him how refined and learned you are, and

162

how

very different from the

men

him that you and I many many years and went to have been close friends school together in our childhood. I had to tell him this, it all helps. If I told him you have been abroad all these one meets in

this city. I also told

met you, he wouldn't have understood. One must know how to maneuver things here. Anyway, I will not trouble your head, he was very sympathetic and willing to help. But he said that all the government ministers have strict orders from the years,

and

that I've just

very top not to approve anything or take any steps

without the consent of the Prime Minister, and

My

Leader himself.

essary, the

uncle said that

if

it

nec-

won't

be necessary to see the Great Leader about a small mat-

but he will have to speak with the Prime

ter like this,

Minister and obtain his consent.

with the

new Prime

"The Prime Minister Aryana muttered identity card to the

.

.

you.

promised to speak

.

.

.

about a thing

like this?"

gravely. "I never thought that

would

entail such complications

my

and lead

."

"I don't

Bureau

He

Minister this afternoon."

know why one

of the gentlemen at the

of Civil Registration didn't issue the card for

Any one of them

Aryana shrugged

could have done his shoulders

it."

and stared

at the

sleek limousines.

"Well, anyway, don't worry about

it,

my

uncle will

speak with the Prime Minister, then will write a note ordering the Bureau of Civil Registration to issue your card immediately." 163

The

room suddenly opened and the dignitaries rushed out. "Look dear Mr. Engineer, I must run now, come to the Police Department todoors of the living

morrow, about noon, 111 have my uncle's note for you." He saluted and backed away. "Please forgive me, but

I

must go

May your shadow

in a hurry.

never grow

less."

Aryana walked down the stairs into the garden, passed by the long, black limousines and went Slowly, sadly,

He walked

into the street.

in the middle of the street,

unmindful of the hot sun that beat down on his head. A car honked behind him and he automatically went to the sidewalk, continued walking, and did not hear the driver's loud, angry imprecations.

few passers-by without

ambled from

really

street to street,

He

stared at the

seeing them, and he

without knowing where

he was going.

A

taxi

climbed

stopped near

in.

The

him and he unthinkingly

driver asked where he wanted to go,

but Aryana did not hear him, and the driver asked again.

Aryana

said that

he wanted to go home, then

chuckled hollowly to himself, and told the driver that

he wanted

and moments later Leader Alvand Square. The

to go to a restaurant,

asked to be dropped at driver regarded

him perplexedly through

the mirror.

Aryana stared out of the window. The shops were all closed and the streets nearly deserted. The people were in their homes having lunch with their families and taking the afternoon nap. A muleteer was leading a long 164

file

of donkeys across the street,

and the

taxi

A

driver had to bring his car to a sudden stop.

veiled

woman

standing on the sidewalk winked to the driver,

and the

latter

shook his head.

A double-decker bus half

loaded with passengers sped by on the wrong side of the street, narrowly missing the donkeys. site

On

the oppo-

sidewalk a shopkeeper was squatting outside his

shop having lunch, bread and broth, and a few steps

man

away, a

with a peasant's cap on his head was

watching him.

The

taxi lurched forward and Aryana held on to his and continued staring out of the window and at the back of the driver's head. "Have you ever lost your

seat

identity card?" he said involuntarily.

"What did you "I said have

The agha,

I

say,

agha?"

you ever lost your identity card?"

driver looked at Aryana in the mirror.

have never

"You

lost it."

are fortunate. I have lost

mine and

new one. I have no identity card." The driver half turned around and ana from the corners of his

new one?" "They won't ago

I

give

me

a

eyes.

new

it.

or perhaps

I

can't get a

glanced at Ary-

"Why

don't you get a

one. Nearly two

applied for an identity card and

obtained

"No

I still

months haven't

They have doubts about my nationality, just don't know how to manipulate things

here in this country and therefore

am

not entitled to

Iranian papers."

"Don't worry, agha, you'll get

it.

You must be

tient."

165

pa-

on my behalf with the Prime Minister. Then the Prime Minister

War

"Well, the Minister of

will probably talk

my

about

will speak

identity card with the

Leader, the Great Leader as they the Great Leader will speak with after

—

here.

Then

there to see

him?"

"Don't worry agha,

and

him who is

call

if

He

God

is

great.

wants to help, no one

He

sees everything,

—not even the Leader,

can stop Him."

"How

does one arrange to see

"Well,

and

if

in this country?"

you have the right connections, you can go Mazandi, the great spiritual leader,

see Ayatollah

and he

God

will pray for you.

They

say his prayers are al-

ways answered."

Aryana lapsed into his thoughts, wondering what to do if he had no results the next day. A thought he had grappled with earlier came back to him, and he instantly sat up. There must be a way, he thought with panting heart, to cross the border without a passport. If I

could just cross the border into one of the Arab

countries, I'm sure I could

speak Arabic fluently, and Arabs; the

would go back

I

palm

of

my

way

am sure

not at

"They

is

say the

166

After

all

.

my

old

Europe or America.

I

.

Leader even though he has is

all I

know my way among the Beirut, which I know like

to go back to

power and wealth because of the

rest.

hand, and with the help of

friends find a this

to

manage the

all

that

wary of the Ayatollah Mazandi and closeness to the

latter's holiness

But everyone knows that the Leader gets his orders from the foreigners, the Americans. Everyone is people.

afraid of the Leader, but

they forget that the Leader

Why quiet,

himself

one

afraid of some-

is

noyed that

You may

stupid, but I

Aryana thought, an-

if

think

I

am

you ask me,

think everyone in this

afraid of I

someone above

mean even

the gov-

ernment ministers who are supposed to be somebody, are really

nobody

They

country.

a conversation with taxi

who

this

Shadan

has just been

Prime Minister, he

made is

only

another errand boy, another

.

.

—

ine,

water without his permis-

Take

them from talking, they go on and on and won't leave you in peace. Anyway, what was I saying, yes, I was saying can you imagthe son of a burnt

are just er-

They won't even drink sion.

you can't then stop

in this

rand boys for the Leader.

father Beirut,

is

talking

still

I'll

old friends

—in my

find

one of

—

wonder

I

if

Jeddah, Barakat, Zamaria

and the others are there? I'm sure

"Did you

just

I'll

still

find

mention

Shadan?"

."

"Yes, I said this

is

the trouble with starting

drivers,

him.

thoughts

were interrupted. This

country, even the Leader, is

his

Isn't that right,

too.

agha?

keep

he

doesn't

new Prime Minister

is

just another

errand boy."

"How

do you know Shadan

is

the

new Prime Min-

ister?"

"Everybody knows.

I

heard

it

about two, three hours 167

The Leader

them turns. Whoever bows lowest to him, licks his feet and most often tells him how great he is, becomes Prime Minister. Where shall I ago.

gives

drop you, agha?"

Aryana asked him to stop at the north side of Leader Alvand Square and having paid the fare, climbed out of the diminutive car. He walked a long time turning the plan over in his mind.

next day he

much

as

still

had no

He

told himself that

results,

way

the

he would, without so

another day's delay, leave for Abadan or some

other point in the south and from there his

if

into another country.

Hungry,

somehow make tired, anxious,

came upon. It was the same empty restaurant where he had eaten one rainy, melancholy day nearly two months before. he entered the

168

first

restaurant he

ii The

noon he was at the Police Department. Major Andriman was not in his office, but an officer, on his way out of the room, said that the major had left about thirty minutes earlier, and would be back soon. Aryana sat down and waited. Over and over he told himself that he would wait no longer than one hour, then go directly to the nearest travel agency, buy a ticket for the trip to the Gulf.

following day at exactly twelve o'clock

The

prospect of leaving the country soon,

though infused with uncertainties, lightened

and made his whole being crouch, ready the city by the fastest means.

He

al-

his spirit

to leap

out of

thought of the people he had seen and met since

his arrival in Iran

and wondered

gret having left them.

The

if

he would later

re-

him and

his

gulf between

countrymen had widened irreparably, and although at times he felt an indefinable closeness to some of them, understood them and was able to share their feelings,

most of the time he

felt

he was an island that had been

torn away from the mainland, and he did not and

could not share their land, he

had passed

lives.

it

by.

He had outgrown his homeHe had matured faster than 169

his

country had progressed and therefore he could

on equal terms

never live

countrymen.

It

was in a way

—compatibly—with

like

his

outgrowing a wife or

someone you loved in your youth and perhaps still like, but can no longer live with because you have grown up faster. The most affable Iranians live abroad anyway, he thought. This time I will seek out my compatriots, I will seek out these displaced countrymen of mine. Suddenly he remembered Safoura, and the thought of never again having that woman, at whose home in the Old City he had spent strangely reassuring days and nights, saddened him and he automatically sank deeper in his seat. She doesn't have an attractive face, and isn't an educated woman, he told himself. I don't think she a husband,

is

for

me,

this Safoura.

a different

life.

She belongs to a different world,

Abroad

I'll

find an attractive,

modern

—

woman, perhaps a displaced Iranian woman he got up and restlessly paced the empty room, back and forth, back and forth. At one o'clock, he was about to leave the room, when the door opened and Major Andriman rushed in. "Dear Engineer," he said, as they shook hands, "I hope I didn't keep you waiting long. It's been a hectic day. The Great Leader will speak at the People's Mass Meeting this afternoon, and the Police Department has been kept busy all day." He collapsed in the chair behind his desk and removing a handkerchief from his pocket, began to dry the perspiration on his forehead. He got up again and still drying his face, said, "Please 170

forgive

me

down

for sitting

this

way.

I beg you to sit down. Please." Aryana sat down, then the major

It's

very rude of

me.

good news

"I have very

for you.

sat

down

again.

My uncle spoke

with

the Prime Minister about your identity card and ob-

tained his approval to instruct the Bureau of Civil

My

Registration to issue your card.

busy

order for your card, but he told the

uncle was very

morning and didn't have the time

all

Bureau and take

Andriman put

it

to

him

me

to issue the

to prepare a note to

Major pocket and took

for his signature."

the handkerchief in his

a deep breath. "I'll write the note in a minute, but

you can

wait,

I'll

take

it

him tomorrow.

to

If,

other hand, you are in a hurry and can't wait, the note with

me

him

It will

to sign

it.

he won't mind.

take

I'll

and ask

to the rally this afternoon

He

if

on the

only take a minute and I'm sure

man, this uncle of mine." "Thank you, thank you," Aryana said, striving to is

a kind

repress the elation within him.

before adding,

they say

not

—

"My

He

dear Cyrus,

if it is

—

not

in English they say, inconvenient,

if

it

is

." .

.

"Yes, yes, I understand

"Well,

if

it

is

." .

.

not inconvenient for you,

rather have the letter today so

Bureau

"We

I

can take

I

would

it

to the

of Civil Registration early in the morning."

"Fine, fine, will

upon my

eyes."

He

rang a bell and arose.

have lunch right here, under your shadow,

then you will condescend to come with us as all

moment how do

thought a

we make

the last minute preparations for the big meeting at

171

the Leader Alvand Stadium."

The door opened and an

attendant came in and bowed. "Look, go and fetch two

and kebab, one

rice I

want them

man

to

—what's

plates

Also, tell

him

all

agha and one for me. But

be clean, do you understand,

his

wash the

for the

name

—

tell

at the restaurant, tell

and spoons and

that

him

to

forks with hot water.

to give us plenty of onions, radishes,

and

the rest."

Major Andriman walked to the window, looked out, then went back to his desk, sat down and wrote a firm note to the Bureau of Civil Registration instructing them to issue Aryana's identity card immediately. As Aryana began to read the letter, the attendant came back carrying, on a tin tray, two plates of rice, kebab and the usual side dishes. As soon as they finished eating, they left the room, hurried to the end of the corridor and entered the im-

mense courtyard behind the building. Here, numerous local police officers and officers of the national gendarmerie were gathered, talking excitedly among themselves, last

studying charts of the

minute

city,

instructions. Several

giving and receiving

dozen police and gen-

darmerie trucks were parked in long rows, and standing or leaning against these trucks were four or five

hundred heavily armed policemen and gendarmes. Major Andriman told Aryana to wait by one of the trucks, then ran to join a group of officers colonels and majors who were talking, gesturing and pointing

—

—

at the trucks. Several other officers soon joined the

group and they 172

all saluted,

bowed, and shook hands.

Before long a general appeared in the courtyard and all

the officers immediately

shot

fell silent,

up

their

heads, bloated their chests, clicked their heels, saluted.

The

general returned their salute, greeted them, nod-

ding to some, muttering a few words to others.

and

the colonels stepped forward a large sheet of paper.

The

saluting,

One

of

handed him

general glanced at the

paper, then looking around, quietly but firmly said that he

wanted once more

here faithfully to earlier,

all

urged them

to

remind the

officers to ad-

the instructions they had received to

fill

the trucks with as

ple as possible for the meeting, cautioned

watchful and

move quickly

then read the names of the

to

many

them

peo-

to

He

put out skirmishes.

officers,

one of the poor sections of the

be

assigning each to

city.

"I needn't

you," he whispered, "that the venerable

officers

tell

who

round up the largest number of people for this important meeting will be duly rewarded, perhaps even by the Great Leader of Leaders himself." The officers quickly dispersed, running to the trucks to which they had been assigned. They ordered the policemen and gendarmes to climb into the trucks, shouted instructions to them, and within a few minutes, the trucks rolled

out of the courtyard. Some of

the officers rode in jeeps ahead of the trucks, others sat

with the gendarmes, over and over repeating to them

what to do, what not to do. Major Andriman and Aryana rode in a lead truck, followed by eleven other trucks assigned to the major. As the long line of military vehicles manned with armed gendarmes sped 173

through the

on the

the people

city,

stopped to

streets

gape and whispered uneasily to one another.

The

houses and shops were bedecked with

flags

and

and pictures of the Leader. Huge laces of multicolored bulbs hung in front of government buildings, and on top of some of these buildings were enormous flowers

neon impressions of the Leader's

profile.

Banners with

bold calligraphy exalting the Leader, pledging the un-

dying loyalty of one group or another to him, hung at frequent intervals above the sections flags,

The

large inter-

were elaborately decorated with

clusters of

multicolored ribbons, huge banners and, facing

each intersecting

and

traffic.

his wife.

street, gigantic pictures of the

On

Leader

each corner stood pyramidal struc-

tures covered with colorful rugs, tapestries, pots of flowers,

and hundreds of colorful

posters

and pictures

of the Leader in different poses. Here, loudspeakers

blared out military marches and impassioned speeches glorifying the Leader, recounting all the services he

had rendered

his people, all his sacrifices, his

accom-

plishments.

Major Andriman's trucks stopped in a narrow, cobblestoned street in south Teheran where the poor live. The gendarmes jumped out of the trucks, and as they stood at attention the major gave them orders to start collecting

people to take to the meeting. Several

gendarmes were ordered people all all

who were brought

to

guard the trucks and the

in; the rest of the

gendarmes,

armed with guns and bayonets, quickly dispersed in directions. They rounded up all the men on the 174

street,

entered

all

the huts

and shops, searched

rooms, roof tops, basements,

to the trucks.

old,

Those who

promised food after the meeting, those bribes were threatened and their disloyalty,

busy and

warned

and the few who

resisted

who

the

and

closets, courtyards,

brought out the men, young and

and led them

all

idle,

were

resisted the

of reprisals for

resisted the threats

were pushed and shoved out of their homes and shops

and taken

to the trucks at gunpoint.

Some

of the

men,

having nothing to do and glad to be taken for a ride in a truck,

needed no prodding. But most of them were

loath to leave their

work and

their families, afraid that

they were being duped, led astray or taken for mili-

and war. They begged, pleaded, argued, shouted, but the gendarmes firmly and without waste of words led them to the waiting vehicles. Only a few who had the means to give money to the gendarmes were allowed to stay behind and hide. tary service

Major Andriman strode up and down the street,

dirty

giving instructions to the gendarmes, reassuring

and goading the people. He entered a small grocery shop and asked the owner why he had no flags and pictures of the Leader in his shop window. The man

bowed low and

said, "Excellency Major, I swear on the Koran I don't have the money right now to buy flags and pictures of our Great Leader. I had some posters and pictures from last time, but yesterday they stole them from me."

"Well, what are you waiting for? Don't you see this is

a big occasion,

you must buy new ones." He turned 175

one of the gendarmes, ordered him to fetch pictures and posters from the truck. "Ill give you the pictures, to

you must buy flags, do you understand?" When the posters announcing the People's Meeting and the pictures of the Leader were brought but

later today

in, the grocer hastily pasted five of them to his shop window, and one of the gendarmes pasted several others to the door and walls of the small shop. "Now go and sit

one of those trucks so we can take you

in

to the

meeting."

"Meeting?

me

take

What have

away?

I

haven't done anything,

"Don't be

I

afraid,

I

Why

done?

swear on

only

do you want

the twelve

all

Imams

to I

." .

.

no one wants

to hurt you.

The

Great Leader of Leaders just wants to talk to you and all

the people."

"May God

bless

our Great Leader of Leaders.

We all

pray that he will come here one day and see us and ..."

"How

How I

can the Great Leader of Leaders come here?

can anyone come here?

have never seen a place

this

It's

and smelly. and disgusting as

so filthy

as filthy

." .

.

"What can we

do,

Your Excellency?" the grocer

head to one side. "We all urinate and throw garbage, but the government doesn't come and clean up. The government ..." "Don't talk so much, go and sit in the truck."

moaned,

tilting his

in the street

The

grocer quickly gathered the lollipops and the

cheap candy on the counter and locked them in a small 176

closet.

"Excellency Major, do you think

we

will be able

and speak with the Great Leader of Leaders?" know," the major replied, shrugging his shoulders. "Write down your supplication, tell the Sublime Leader you want to kiss his feet, he being to see

"I don't

compassionate and benevolent

you

to see

may condescend

to allow

him."

The major motioned grocer to the truck and

to the left

gendarmes

to take the

the shop. Holding a hand-

kerchief over his nose and mouth, he walked to the

end

of the

narrow

street,

watching the gendarmes

they went in and out of the old

mud

as

huts and shops.

Seeing several gendarmes pulling and dragging a

man

out of a shop, he went over and asked what the matter was.

man had

The gendarmes

explained that they had told the

several times to go to the meeting,

but that he

and they were left with no alternative but to take him by force. "Release him," the major said, and the gendarmes instantly let go of the man. The major motioned to the gendarmes to stand away, and turning to the young man, softly said, "What is the matter, brother? Why don't you want to steadfastly refused,

go to the meeting?" "I have

work

to do," the

a baker at this shop

bread for

man

said resentfully.

"I'm

and we're busy right now making my work now."

this evening. I can't leave

"I understand, I understand," the

major

said quietly.

"But brother there is an important meeting right now and you can certainly leave your work for a few hours." 177

"I can't, I can't," the

man

my

missed one day's work and that night. I have children

and an old father, they all anyone you want. I can't

week I hungry went children

said angrily. "Last

and I have a pregnant wife depend on me, you can ask leave my work, they need

food."

Major Andriman thought a moment. "I understand what you mean, I understand. But you see, my friend, sometimes one must make sacrifices. Today, there is a big meeting and our Great Leader of Leaders has condescended to come and talk to his people. All decent, patriotic Iranians have put aside their work to hear the proclamations of their Great Leader and learn what their

government has done

The man shrugged

for them."

his shoulders

government and things ." work and earn a .

"But

this

is

Leaders is above symbol ..."

my

The Great Leader

of

want

to

.

not

politics.

all this.

—

is

do

like that. I just

He

is

"A symbol? What's that?" "It's a how shall I say a he

and looking away

to do with politics and

grumbled, "I have nothing

—

like

our

father,

sacred tradition,

he

I

is

a

mean

someone above everybody and everything, some-

one to venerate and honor.

He

is

a symbol, a symbol."

The man frowned as he pondered the major's remarks. He shook his head and still frowning muttered, "I don't understand

what

all this is

you right now,

My

children are hungry ..."

178

I

about. But

don't need a symbol,

tell

I

I

can

need food.

Major Andriman turned

pretended not to be listening. cope with the problem. At

man and He was unsure how to

his

first,

back

he considered display-

ing anger, severely castigating the the gendarmes to take

thought better of calmly, though

go and

sit

this

man and

ordering

He

force to the trucks.

and turning around

again,

less amicably than before, said, "Look,

in the truck, I will see to

your family

"But

him by

to the

isn't left

officer, I

it

right

now

that

hungry tonight."

have to make bread for these

I told you I would what can be done. Now go in there and sit down." He told the gendarmes to take the man to a truck, then hurried in the opposite direction and entered the bakery. Several women, in tattered clothes, were gathered inside, cursing and grumbling. Seeing the major, they turned to him and continued shouting. The major

"Listen now, don't be obstinate.

see

ordered them to be quiet, then asked one of them to explain what the agitation was about. Several of the

women

talked simultaneously

and again the major

shouted at them to be quiet, and ordered one of the

women

to reply.

The woman stared at him, turned able to talk. The woman next to her

and was not began to explain, but she stuttered, stammered, quickly gave up. At length, one of the women in the back, prodded by the others, spoke up and explained that the gendarmes had taken away the two bakers and that, as a result, everybody in the quarter would be without pale,

food in the evening.

The woman was

still

talking

the major suddenly realized that there was

when

commotion 179

in the street.

He

ran out of the shop and saw several

gendarmes gathered near the

trucks,

kicking the young baker with spoken. Several

women and

punching and

whom

he had just

children were gathered

nearby weeping and shrieking, begging the gendarmes to

have mercy.

Major Andriman shouted to the gendarmes to stop what they were doing, and when he reached them, pushed them to the side and bent over the young baker lying on the ground, bruised and bleeding. He helped the man to his feet and began to question the gendarmes, when the baker, bleeding profusely from the head, suddenly turned around and with all his power punched the nearest gendarme in the face. Taken aback by the suddenness and force of the blow, the gendarme staggered a couple of steps and would have fallen had the other gendarmes not come to his

The

rescue.

baker, dazed and

now blinded by

that dripped over his eyes, stood

way

to turn.

unsure which

A gendarme stepped behind him and with

the butt of his

head.

still,

the blood

gun

The baker

dealt a heavy

blow on the baker's

reeled, quivered,

then

fell

to the

ground.

The women and children closed in, screaming and Other women and children came running over, shouting, "They killed the baker. They killed him. They killed him." Their men sitting in the wailing.

trucks fidgeted uncomfortably, nudged one another, and the gendarmes quickly surrounded the trucks and stopped them from jumping out. Major Andriman

180

waved

his arms, furiously shouting at the top of his

lungs that the baker was not dead but had only lost consciousness.

He

angrily rebuked the gendarmes

who

had beaten the baker; the gendarmes at first blamed the baker, then blamed one another. Major Andriman ordered them to carry the baker to his shop and with the help of the women to wash his face and head and minister to his wounds. As the baker was being carried to his shop, the

major ordered a couple of gendarmes

to find the other baker

and help him

start

who was

making bread

in one of the trucks for the people.

Seeing that the trucks were nearly full and the situa-

Major Andriman ordered the gendarmes to climb into the vehicles and prepare to leave. The women and children lingered by the trucks, some weeping, some cheering, some begging the gendarmes not to take away their men. As the trucks quickly tion explosive,

pulled out, Aryana, depressed at the sight of the im-

poverished people and their dilapidated shacks and stinking gutters, asked the major about the commotion.

Major Andriman shook nothing.

The baker

his

didn't

"I don't understand

head and muttered, "It was

want

why

to

go to the meeting."

these people are being

forced to attend a meeting."

"We

always do

these rallies

this. It is

and demonstrate

good for them

to attend

their loyalty to the Great

Leader of their country. They won't go on their own. The Great Leader of Leaders wants to make a proclamation

to

them about

establishing democracy in this

country."

181

"But wishes

to

own how

drag people to a meeting against their undemocratic. Besides

is itself

a feudal hereditary

I

don't see

regime can speak of democracy."

"Be careful Daryoush. Be careful what you say." The major looked this way and that to make sure no one was listening. "Why are you against this regime anyway?" "I find this type of

say that Iran

now

is

regime very

able to have a

system, but the country

more revolutionary

is

offensive.

I

don't

modern democratic

certainly ripe

now

for a

progressive regime than this one."

"Well, the Americans like this regime; you like the

Americans,

why

are supporting

Aryana

don't you like this regime which they

and maintaining?"

and stared out of the car window. "I don't know what to say. This is one of the shifted his position

discouraging paradoxes.

It is

sad that a country like

America supports such repressive and reactionary

re-

gimes."

"Why do you "I don't

each time suffering

and

think the Americans do this?"

know,

I really

I see this

poverty, this

I

know

is

that

misery and needless

a deep resentment for this feudal regime

I feel

for those

don't know. All

Americans who help and maintain

this

regime."

"You shouldn't

say such things, Daryoush.

They

are

very touchy about these things ..." "I

mean how can

This one man,

own most

Leader and

be allowed to go on?

his family

and friends

of the wealth of the land, they live in fabu-

lous estates

182

this

this injustice

and palaces and

villas,

they gorge them-

selves

men

on

their luxury while millions of their country-

grovel in gutters and are undernourished ..."

"Daryoush, be careful what you

say,

you might

find

yourself in trouble."

"You know, the other day I heard this Leader of yours say on the radio that he wants to help the poor and be just. Someone ought to tell him that in a country such as this where Aryana shrugged

his

shoulders.

millions of people have never enjoyed a square meal in their lives, his fabulous wealth

is

itself

the most

horrible injustice."

183

iZ When

the trucks arrived at the Leader Alvand Sta-

dium, Major Andriman jumped out and ordered the

gendarmes the

field.

to lead the

people they had rounded up to

Several dozen gendarmerie trucks

arrived and were

now parked

dozens more were arriving.

came bringing

had already

in rows near the field,

A

few private cars

also

passengers. In the vast field hundreds of

men were

gathered. They were laborers, peasants, begand other poor people. Dressed in dirty old clothes they sat or squatted on the dusty ground and did not appear to mind the hot sun that beat on their heads.

gars

They whispered among themselves, looked about flags

and banners and pictures

of the Leader,

at the

some

joked and laughed, others seemed perplexed. Numerous policemen armed with clubs, and helmeted para-

armed with submachine guns stood watchfully around the field and mixed with the people.

troopers all

On

the other side of a heavily guarded fence were

the dignitaries. Dozens of

abandoned Prime Ministers,

ex-ministers, princes of forgotten dynasties, senators

and representatives

of a non-existent parliament, pro-

fessors at projected universities

and other important 185

people,

all

impeccably dressed in

and top hats, salaaming and bowing to one

stood in disorderly lines,

tails

another. Opposite them, in another long line, bellied generals

and admirals with bemedaled

stood at attention,

with

stiff

all

fat-

chests

the earnestness of boy

scouts.

A government minister was rostrum addressing the people

standing at the elevated as they

awaited the

ar-

and the large number of people who have come running here today is another proof of the deep loyalty and devotion our people have for their Great Sublime Leader of Leaders. For us, the greatest honor, the most overwhelming experience of our lives is to be here today under the shadow of this kind, illustrious father of our country, this Sublime Leader of Leaders. That he has deigned to come here rival of the Leader:

in this heat

".

.

.

and make a proclamation

to his people,

another evidence of the love he has for you.

bow our mission. The

all

"Long

live

We

is

must

heads in everlasting gratitude and subtruth

." is

.

.

our Great Leader of Leaders," some one

shouted.

"The truth is, dear countrymen "Long live our Great Leader

." .

.

of Leaders,"

a few

people shouted.

"The truth "Long live

." .

.

the Great Leader of Leaders.

Long

live

the Great Leader of Leaders." Soon most of the people in the vast field

were shouting and cheering.

The gentleman on 186

the speaker's platform looked

down them

nodded, smiled and gestured

at the people,

in encouragement.

At

length,

when

to

they stopped

cheering and screaming, he shouted into the micro-

phone, "Here loyalty

is

another touching evidence of the deep

and veneration

all

our people have for their

beloved, self-sacrificing, sublime Leader. ing, the truth

dear

is,

As

I

was

say-

." .

.

"Hurraaaaaaah," a few people shouted.

"The truth dear countrymen "Long live our Great Leader. .

." .

Victorious our Great

Leader. Victorious, victorious ..."

when they stopped, the gentleman on the rostrum shouted, "The truth is, dear countrymen, that we the people of this country are all willing and prepared to lay down our lives, to die for our Great At

length,

Leader, the Leader of Leaders."

"We will die for him," a man "We will die for him. ." .

The

"We

crowd screamed.

in the

.

people, arrested by the screams, roared back,

will die for him.

for him.

When

We will die for him. We will

die

." .

.

the

shouted, "Yes,

screaming

we

subsided

gentleman

the

the slaves of the Great Leader Al-

vand, are ready, at any time, in any place, to give our lives, to

die for the great father of our country. This

Sacred Leader cratic Leader.

who

is

unlike other leaders. This

This

is

a just Leader.

This

is

is

a

a

demoLeader

and is in constant contact with them. Everybody remembers that hardly ten months loves his people

ago this Great Leader of Leaders,

this

Shadow

of

God

187

upon

Earth, went to one of the villages of the north

to the surprise

and

and admiration of everybody, took part And again, hardly seven months

in the local festivities.

when

ago,

great,

disaster struck the villages in Kurdistan, this

humane,

self-sacrificing

Leader

left

the comfort

of his palace to spend a whole afternoon

afternoon

—

whole

in the cold of the wilderness, with the

poor, homeless villagers. This

A

—a

is

the ..."

general of the police force ran to the rostrum

shouting frantically,

The Great Leader

is

"The Great Leader comiiing.

He

is

is

comiiing.

comiiing.

He

is

comiiing."

The gentleman on

the rostrum

waved

his

arms

furi-

ously and announced that the Great Leader of Leaders

was arriving.

The

people

immediately

fell

silent,

pushed toward the guarded fence and rose on their toes to catch a glimpse of the Leader.

On

the other side

of the fence, dignitaries, reporters, photographers, po-

licemen, plainclothesmen, ran excitedly in every direction,

informing one another that the Great Leader was

coming, the Great Leader was coming.

As the Leader,

and

emerged from the black, bulletproof limousine, an army band played a military march and the flag was slowly hoisted above the rostrum. The Leader glanced furtively this way and that, nodded to the Prime Minister and Mr. Ara who had come forward to greet him, then walked slowly toward the rostrum. The generals and admirals standing in line on his left rose to their full heights, pushed tall

attractive,

out their bemedaled chests to the limit, shot up their 188

heads, clicked their heels dignitaries

bowed from

and

saluted.

On

his right, the

the waist and as the Leader

passed by, remained stooped, facing the ground.

The Leader

slowly, gravely, stepped

up

to the raised

rostrum, and the people on the other side of the fence

pushed and elbowed one another and began "Hurraaaaaah. Hurraaaaaah. Hurraaaaaah .

to roar, ."

.

The Leader nodded and smiled and waved his arms to the people. He turned his head this way and that, acknowledging the outcries, enormously pleased with the earsplitting tribute he was receiving.

He waved

his

arms and nodded repeatedly.

At

length, he gestured to the people to stop cheer-

But they went on screaming and shrieking and were not able to stop. He gestured to them again to stop but they went on screaming, and he grew impatient and scowled. Several police officers and civilians climbed the fence and waved to the people, urging them to stop shouting, but the clamor persisted, and from all over the vast field rose shrill, piercing cries of "Long live the Great Leader of Leaders." Twenty, thirty minutes, and the Leader grew restless. He turned to the officials beneath the rostrum and ordered them to restrain the people. The officials ran this way and that, frantically shouting orders to their subordiing.

nates,

who

in turn

prodded their subordinates to do

something. Not until the military band began to play the national

anthem did the people

finally quiet

down.

The Leader stood at attention and stared straight The people also stiffened and stared up at the

ahead.

189

Leader and the military

band

flags

When

waving behind him.

the

finished playing the national anthem, the

Leader quickly stepped forward to the microphone and

began

his speech. ''Dear

countrymen,

I

am

very, very

glad to be here with you, the decent, patriotic, hard-

working, brave people of this country. Fortunately

"Looooooong

liiiiiiive

man

Leadeeeeeers," a

am

.

."

our Great Leadeeeeeer of

shrieked. ."

"Hurraaaaaah. Hurraaaaaah. Hurraaaaaah.

The Leader waved

.

his

.

.

hand, smiled and nodded. "I

deeply touched by your patriotic sentiments and

this

show

of loyalty. You, the decent, upright people

of this historic country have always proven your loyalty to

your fatherland and to your Leader

"Long

.

the Great Leader of Iran,"

live

." .

someone

shouted, and immediately the rest screamed,

"Long

Great Leader of Iran. Long

Great

live the

live the

."

Leader of Iran.

.

.

The Leader nodded and waved

his hand. "Fortu-

nately the elements have been gracious to us and have

made

this a nice,

sunny day.

." .

.

"Hurraaaaaah. Hurraaaaaah. Hurraaaaaah.

"This

is

." .

a very important day in the three-thousand-

year history of our sacred, historic country. of our history shine with glory. est

.

We

empire in the world, we had the greatest

in the world.

.

.

The

pages

once had the greatcivilization

."

"Hurraaaaaah. Hurraaaaaah.

"Hardly two thousand years

." .

.

ago,

our proud empire

was the center of the whole world. Only yesterday we 190

had great rulers, like Cyrus and Daryoush, who conquered many countries and whom the whole world feared. We have always had democracy in our country, always been tolerant of others, respected the rights of other countries and other peoples. These are historic facts

you must always remember and be proud of

"Hurraaaaaah. Hurraaaaaah.

." .

.

." .

.

"In the course of our four-thousand-year civilization,

our brave, courageous, proud people have always

shown

that they are ready to fight to the last

drop of

blood. ..."

"Hurraaaaaah ..."

"To

fight

tyranny and corruption and injustice.

There are always greedy, corrupt elements here who want to grab power. ..." "Hurraaaaaah. Hurraaaaaah.

"... and

foist their

." .

.

tyranny on the hardworking,

decent people of this country. But our proud, sacrificing people will not

back and allow these

self-

be fooled. They will not

traitors to exploit

sit

them and take

advantage of them. These young misled traitors don't

want us

to progress.

.

.

."

"Hurraaaaaah. Hurraaaaaah.

"They have

.

."

defied our sacred religion.

defied our sacred fatherland. is

.

They have

They have

defied all that

sacred to you, the God-fearing, patriotic people of

Iran.

They have betrayed

noble forefathers have tors.

But we

the sacred heritage our great,

left us.

will crush them.

They

We

are traitors, trai-

will

show them no

mercy. ..." 191

"Death

The Death

to the traitors,'' a

people roared back, "Death to the

Death

traitors. ."

.

.

." .

.

." .

.

to the traitors ..."

"Dear countrymen death to the .

.

.

.

.

.

listen, listen

.

.

Stop

it

now

.

.

.

Yes, yes,

.

death to the traitors

traitors,

me

listen to

to the traitors.

to the traitors ..."

Death

"Dear countrymen "...

Death

to the traitors.

"Dear countrymen "...

man screamed.

.

.

.

Now

Last night I had a

."

dream.

.

.

"Hurraaaaaah. Hurraaaaaah.

." .

.

had a dream. I dreamt I was going on a pilgrimage to the Holy City, when suddenly my horse reared and I fell off. But before I hit the ground, our Great Prophet, praised be his name, caught me and gently set me down. If he had not "Yes countrymen,

I

would surely have been killed. Then the Great Prophet, praised be his name, said to me, he said, you are the Leader of Iran, the savior of your people, no harm must befall you. God has sent me to ." protect you, because your poor people need you. "Looooong liiiiive the Great Leader of Leadeeeeers,

rescued

me

I

.

"

Savior of Iran

"Loooooong liiiiiive

liiiiiive

the Great Leader.

this

Loooooong

"

the Great Leader

"Dear countrymen,

A

.

is

also, in a

way, a sad day.

year ago, on this day, four of our countrymen, an

officer

and three

soldiers, lost their lives in that traitor-

ous uprising against your Leader. 192

Now

in

honor of

men, those martyrs whose blood

those noble, valiant

was shed in the struggle country,

I

to preserve

freedom in our

proclaim one minute of silence."

"Hurraaaaaah. Hurraaaaaah. Hurra "I ".

." .

.

now proclaim one minute of silence." .

aaaaah. Hurraaaaaah. Hurraaaaaah

.

The Leader mained

silent.

."

.

.

stepped back, bent his head and re-

"What mules," he muttered, "what

idiots." ".

.

Hurraaaaaah. Hurraaaaaah. Hurraaaaaah."

.

The Leader and the dignitaries observed a minute of silence. The Leader then stepped forward again and shouted into the microphone to interrupt the cheering,

"Dear countrymen

.

.

.

Dear countrymen

.

.

.

Dear

countrymen, we must not forget that these brave patriots gave their lives to protect the sacred traditions

They did not die in vain. We move ahead. As I told you when I

of our historic country.

are determined to

was proclaimed Leader of Leaders twenty years ago,

am

determined to obliterate

There

is

this

shameful poverty.

no reason why you and millions

of our coun-

trymen should go on living in shacks and go

hungry

at night.

This morning

I

I

to

bed

gave special instruc-

tions to the Ministry of Finance that for the next three

months, the

official

allowance for

winter palaces must be cut

my summer and

down from

three

hundred

thousand tomans a month to two hundred thousand tomans. Also, for the next three months

down

the

official

we

will cut

allowances for the palaces of

all

193

my

This will relieve some of the sures on our poor people. ..." brothers and

sisters.

"Loooooong

liiiiiive

pres-

our compassionate, benevolent

Leader of Leadeeeeeers ..." a

man

beneath

the

rostrum shouted. "I have also instructed the Minister of Agriculture to distribute

some

of

poor peasants of that

my own area.

lands in Khorassan to the

This will

." .

Aryana nudged Major Andriman, ing away any lands?"

.

"What did you say?" Major Andriman "I said

is

be a simpleton," he is

as

shouted.

he regarded him. "Don't

whispering in Aryana's

ear.

and impress the

for-

works each time. Later they will take

pic-

said,

to mollify the masses

eigners. It

giv-

he really giving away any of his lands?"

Major Andriman smiled "This

he really

"Is

tures of these peasants kissing the Great Leader's feet in gratitude for his generosity. ..."

"You mean he

"Why

is

should he

not giving away any of his lands?"

when he can

sell it to

them?"

"But how can they buy anything, they are erished

.

."

.

"Well, they pay years, I later.

am

Give

it

him

for the next fifteen or twenty

not sure which. Look

me

Registration.

him

so impov-

that letter

I'll

take

it

I

wrote

right

we

to

now

will talk

the Bureau to

my

about

it

of Civil

uncle and ask

to sign it."

Aryana pulled the letter out of his pocket and gave to Major Andriman. "Wait here Daryoush, I'll be

right back."

194

Aryana watched the major slowly make

way

his

toward the fence. Finding himself suddenly alone

among

beggars, laborers, peasants in tattered clothes,

he

depressed.

felt

He

told himself that these

were

his

countrymen, people of the same ancestry, and that he was a stranger, in people, in his to

effect, a

foreigner

among

his

own

country. Several times he had tried

persuade himself to stay and help these hapless peo-

ple,

to

own

but his

spirit,

already ailing and long accustomed

an entirely different climate, lacked the ingredient

to survive the putrid air of It

medieval

life.

was not that the hardships and privations of pov-

erty repelled him.

He had

never sought wealth, on the

he enjoyed the simple

contrary,

life

—wore

simple

clothes, ate simple foods, lived in simple lodgings, de-

lighted in simple pleasures like conversing with friends, strolling as

on

by the

sea.

Finding himself among the poor,

made him want

this day,

to

withdraw into an

even simpler existence. Again he told himself that no

man

is

justified to live in

hungry people

He was

luxury so long

as there are

in the world.

looking about wondering

how many

years or

generations would pass before these unfortunates of the world were delivered from the horrors of poverty,

when he

felt

a

hand on

his

shoulder and turning

around saw Major Andriman. "I have news

for you," the

signed

it

major

for you, here

Aryana took the

said,

very, very

beaming.

"My

good uncle

it is."

letter

and seeing the signature

smiled and thanked the major. 195

"Take

Bureau of Civil Registhe morning, and within one hour you will to

it

tration in

any

official at

the

have your identity card."

As they shook hands, Major Andriman said that it was he who really benefited from the brief association, because he was stimulated to think and talk more searchingly than he usually did.

Aryana walked away been in better dent in weeks.

He knew now

tity card.

As soon

muttered

elatedly,

present I'll

I'll

optimistic

—

fine I

and

confi-

that at last after all these

he was to obtain

his iden-

reach Europe or America, he

and begin again,

I'll

and

to teach at school

send Major Andriman a

think of a suitable present

send General Andriman something

some all

—

money

delays,

as I

man pursued. He had not

more

spirits, felt

weeks of enervating

earn some

like a

later.

too.

Perhaps

There

are

They are not that whenever I come upon

people in the military service.

don't

know why

it is

a professional soldier or officer I feel like reassuring

him, telling him look, don't be don't have to

put up

a front.

afraid, relax, relax.

No

You

one will question

your manliness.

Well anyway, here at last I have my identity card, thanks to the Andrimans. I can't believe it. I suppose one must just be very patient here. Everything gets done. Dear, dear Iranians, you are such bastards, but I love you all. He bought a small gift for Safoura, went to her home in the Old City and spent the night with her on the wide mattress. 196

15 In the morning, he woke up rested and in good

He had ised to

breakfast with Safoura

come back and Bureau

mattress,

prom-

see her before his departure,

and

He went by

taxi

shortly after ten o'clock left her to the

on the

spirits.

home.

of Civil Registration, asked for

Mr.

Sepenta, but the attendant in the corridor explained that

Mr. Sepenta had not yet arrived.

stairs again, crossed

He went down-

the courtyard and entered Doctor

room on the second floor. Doctor Shayan arose, bowed and as they shook hands, said, "Please sit down. It's been a long time we haven't had the honor Shayan's

of seeing you, agha."

"I have been going to the

"I beg after

you

to

sit

." .

.

down. Please

sit

down. You were

an identity card, weren't you?"

Aryana sat down and nodded. Doctor Shayan also sat down. "Did you get it?" "Not yet. Mr. Sepenta said that I must first bring a statement from the Police Department certifying that I

am

Iranian."

"Really? Really?" Doctor Shayan muttered, making his

eyebrows meet. "You shouldn't be required to have 197

a Police

What

Department statement about your

are you,

if

nationality.

not Iranian? Well, anyway, did you

get the statement?" "I couldn't get that either.

War

the Minister of

But

have a

I

instructing this

from

letter

Bureau

to issue

my card immediately." "The

Minister of War?"

Andriman. Here is the letter." Doctor Shayan took the letter, read it, reread it, glanced at the signature. He shook his head and return"Yes, General

ing the letter to Aryana, said, "Agha, this letter

is

use-

less."

"What?" "I said this letter it is

useless, it

is

is

—how

shall I say

not valid."

"But why?

I

don't understand," Aryana

mumbled.

"Don't you really know?"

Aryana shook stand.

I

just

his head, "I don't

know

know,

I

don't under-

that this letter was signed yesterday

by General Andriman, the Minister of War.

you where he signed it ." yesterday with Major tell

.

"Forgive it's

me

—

went

for interrupting you,

obvious you don't

know what

A revolution?

can even

meeting

—

I

Mr. Aryana, but

has happened. Last

." .

.

revolution?" Aryana echoed,

of the chair. "But, but

I

to the big

.

night there was a revolution

"A

I

moving

just don't

to the

know what

edge

to say.

Revolution?"

"That's right, that's right, there was another revolution."

198

"But why?

mean what happened? Everything

I

seemed quiet yesterday. Are you sure there was a revolution?"

Doctor Shayan chuckled. "Of course, there was a revolution. This

is

papers are full of

"But

not something anyone can hide.

it,

everybody

don't understand,

I

Yesterday everything was

"There

is

is

talking about

I just

The

it."

don't understand.

." .

.

nothing to understand, Mr. Aryana. There

was just another uprising, another struggle to over-

throw the Leader, only not sure.

it's still

this

time they nearly succeeded,

." .

.

"What do you mean?" "Well, they are versity

and

they say

in that area there

now

it is

around the Uniheavy fighting. But

fighting. All

still

is

spreading to the bazaar area.

pose the students aren't the only ones

change; the poor are also talk

about

"What "They

this

has

now who want

But it's better not ." what happens. .

a

to

.

of the Leader?"

tried to assassinate

him

yesterday but they

Doctor Shayan whispered.

just missed,"

"But why did they want

to assassinate

him? They

."

and "But they succeeded ." Minister and the "But why? Why? This

don't have to

kill

.

.

Why

sup-

restless.

now. We'll see

become

I

.

in

assassinating

the

Prime

.

is

primitive,

it is

sickening.

are they this way?"

"Well regime.

as

you know they want

How

else

can they go about

to

overthrow the

it?"

199

"I

am

not in sympathy with

Aryana muttered

this

regime either,"

"But surely there must be way of bringing about change. They don't have to murder and behave like savages." "I don't want to say anything," Doctor Shayan whispered. "It's just that this is the way it has always been. gravely.

a civilized

It's its

not a secret that the regime has executed enemies,

now

many

of

others are taking revenge."

Aryana stared out of the window. I wish I had never come back here, he said to himself. I wish there were some way I could go away, just go away and never come back. He picked up General Andriman's letter and slowly arose. "Mr. Doctor Shayan, is there no way at all I

can obtain

my

Doctor Shayan

identity card?"

also arose.

make, Mr. Aryana? This

"What

letter

supplication can

I

was signed by the Min-

War, but last night an attempt was made on the Minister's life, and now he has gone into hiding, there is even a rumor today that he has run away from the country. Anyway today nobody knows who is Minister of War. That is why, much as I would like to be of service to you, I cannot carry out General Andriman's instructions, no one here can." He paused and thought a moment before adding, "Why don't you wait a few days till the unrest has subsided and new officials have been appointed, then get another letter like this one, bring it to me and I promise to have your identity ister of

card issued immediately."

Aryana wandered through the city, trying to find out what was happening. All that day, all the next day and 200

The

the day after, the fighting continued in Teheran. clatter of

mortar

machine-gun

shells

and the whizzing

fire

blast of

reverberated ominously across the

city.

Martial law was declared and the people were forbid-

den to venture into the streets between nine in the evening and eight o'clock in the morning. Government agencies, offices, schools and private businesses, all closed down, and the people remained in their homes even during the day.

Sherman tanks and other military vehicles, manned by heavily armed paratroopers and gendarmes, roamed the streets and protected important government buildings, the radio station and all the palaces of the Leader, palaces of his relatives and friends. Large bands of revolutionaries, university students, members of Dr. Mossadegh's National Front Party and the underprivileged of south Teheran attacked the Ministry of Justice, set fire to a wing of the building, then moved in the direction of the palaces although

it

was well known

that the

Leader and

summer

palaces outside the city. Soon the rebels were

his family

joined by thousands of others

Leader Alvand. Long

all

live Dr.

had withdrawn

to the

shouting, ''Down with

Mossadegh. Long

Down

Allahyar Saleh, beloved leaders of the people.

with Leader Alvand.

The government with machine guns. ties,

retreated,

Down

forces,

The

with the Leader.

live

." .

.

using tanks, fired on them

rebels suffered heavy casual-

regrouped in smaller bands and tried

again to reach the palaces. But again the government forces

pushed them back. By the third day, although '

201

there was

sporadic righting in the

still

the rebels

city,

The paratroopers and gendarmes number of them all the way to the rebels made a last stand but, heavily

were badly routed.

pursued a great

Here the outnumbered by the government forces and defenseless against tanks and modern weapons, they abandoned the fight, and hurriedly dispersed in all direcbazaar.

tions, still shouting,

"Down with Leader Alvand. Down

with Leader Alvand.

The were

." .

.

student rebels and National Front

also

University grounds.

One

up on a "This Leader and his

of the leaders stood

platform and began shouting,

gang who have stolen from the poor abroad,

who have

power, will justice. If

all

will rid

meet a shameful end

We

will try

our country of

regime which

is

to build villas

tyrannized the innocent to remain in

we haven't succeeded

ceed next time.

We

members

pushed back and they sought refuge on the

this time,

and this

try until

we we

hands of will suc-

succeed.

medieval, reactionary

stunting our progress.

to help the poor, instead they

at the

They promised

helped the rich

—they

helped themselves. They promised to obliterate corruption, instead they encouraged the corrupt.

promised to hold free

They

elections, instead they packed

the government

and parliament with servile, sniveling errand boys who, even in public, kiss the Leader's feet. They promised to end violence and persecution, instead, week after week they hang their opponents in the main square of Teheran; week after week they execute people in the barracks outside the

202

city.

They

promised to respect the rights of our people, instead they have instituted a reign of terror where no one dares talk,

no one dares ..."

Suddenly about forty or

fifty

military trucks filled

with paratroopers surrounded the University grounds.

Some of managed

the students to

run away

and National Front members

The

in time.

ran into the

rest

buildings and hid in classrooms, closets, lavatories. paratroopers, wearing helmets

and

The and

battle fatigues

armed with submachine guns, poured into the University. They forced their way into the buildings, breaking doors and windows. They caught the students and the others, beat them with clubs, punched and kicked them, and several who attempted to resist the beatings and arrests were machine-gunned to death. The Military Commander of Teheran announced the

"My

government's victory on the radio.

men,

I

am

dear country-

overjoyed to inform you that peace and

order have been restored to our city and country. brave,

patriotic,

have squelched

Leader-worshiping people of Iran

this treasonous uprising.

criminals, traitors

who want

to

These

overthrow

Leader of Leaders has commanded the proud, decent people of Iran,

we

will not relent until

every single criminal uprising. trial

We promise

who to

me

and

to

to

ruffians,

that

all

The

sacred to our people have been routed.

that

The

is

Great

thank you,

promise you

we have tracked down

took part in this treasonous

have them brought to a quick

and executed forthwith. 203

"Dear countrymen, long

Great Leader of

live the

Leaders; long live the Sublime Leader of Iran."

Slowly people ventured out of their homes. Govern-

ment bureaus,

and shops reopened and within a few days life in Teheran reverted to its habitual course. A foreign news service reported that about ninety people had been killed in the disturbances. In Teheran, and elsewhere in the country, people began schools

to prepare for the holidays.

Aryana went ment.

On

across the city to the Police Depart-

the street in front of the building he ran

Kourosh Firouzan who had just come the Police Department. They greeted each other

into his friend

out of

and Firouzan

said,

"Are you going in

for

your identity

card?" "Yes, I'm just don't

after that

still

seem

to

damned

be able to get

identity card. I

it."

"What did you think of our recent elections?" "What elections?" "Where have you been the last ten, fifteen days? We were holding our own brand of elections, trying to determine what kind of leadership we want." "I wish I could laugh about gravely. "Perhaps

goes on here,

uprising as

I

if I

it,"

Aryana muttered

did not feel involved in

would have calmly viewed

—how

shall

I

say

—

as

I feel

and have witnessed the violence and the

that

this violent

political

pains of a backward people. But because

all

growing involved

ugliness, I

cannot help feeling revolted."

"Look Daryoush, 204

please forgive me, I

must go now,

I

must rush

Department of Motor Vehicles

to the

for

my driver's license." "You mean you

don't have your driver's

still

li-

cense?"

"Well you know,

it's

been only three months. You

can't rush these things."

"Three months to get a driver's you tolerate this waste of time?" "It's

license?

not a waste of time," Firouzan

his shoulders. "After

all,

if

said,

How

can

shrugging

you want something you

must struggle and fight for it. Getting a driver's license takes time; you must see many people, visit different offices,

pay a

little

here, a little there.

And

don't forget

there are always explosions like last week. All this takes time, but I don't

mind."

"That's right, you don't mind. this struggle

things.

But

is

inevitable, that

it

You is

all

I don't, I can't."

"Well, although I've traveled a really lived

think that

in the nature of

abroad and

I

I've

little

never

don't know ..."

known

"Yes, you've never lived abroad, never

any-

and you can therefore accept all this. In a way, you are fortunate, Kourosh. But I've lived abroad many years and now I can't help comparing everything thing

else,

tendency to view everything in compari-

I see. It is this

son that

is

—how

constantly thinking, this is

not

it is

as

good

as it

in Paris so

devastating.

shall I say

it's

is

is

not as

it

*'Daryoush, forgive

me

find myself

was in Europe,

in America, this

excusable.

I

is

this

not worse than

." .

.

for interrupting you, but as

205

I

told

you

I

have an appointment right

now

at the

Department of Motor Vehicles; in fact I am about forty minutes late. Look, what are you doing tomorrow? It's Friday you know; come to our house around noon and we'll all go to a party. Who knows, you may even meet someone there who'll be able to help you."

Aryana climbed the stairs, entered the building, made his way through the crowded hall and corridor, and went into Major Andriman's office. The major was not

in,

but an

officer,

another desk,

sitting at

Aryana that Major Andriman had just left and to a meeting. "If you hurry, agha, you may still find him in the courtyard, behind the building." Aryana rushed out to the vast courtyard where nutold

was going

merous police trucks and vans and jeeps were parked.

He

was walking in the center of the courtyard, looking

way and that, when a jeep suddenly halted behind him. "Where do you think you are strolling, agha, on the Champs £lysees?" Aryana darted to the side to make way for the jeep. "My dear Engineer," Major Andriman said, alighting this

from the jeep, "I'm sorry "Salaam Cyrus,

I

if I

startled you."

was looking for you."

hope you haven't come to say good-by." "No, I haven't, I still don't have my identity card." "I

"Why "Well,

not? I

tration, the officials

You had

that letter

from

my

uncle."

took that letter to the Bureau of Civil Regis-

day after you gave

it

to

me, but one of the

there said that he couldn't carry out the orders

because of the disturbances and he also said he wasn't

206

sure that General

War." "Son

Andriman was

of a burnt father.

wouldn't do

it,

ha? Give

me

the Minister of

still

Son of a whore. So he his

name,

I'll

destroy his

destroy his father. ..."

By God, I'll "But you know he was

father.

the instructions. After

justified in

all,

not carrying out

there was a revolution

and

General ..."

"Don't you worry about

Leave

it

to

name and

me,

I'll

I'll

teach

this,

my

dear Engineer.

take care of him. Just give

him what

it is

me

to eat dung. So

his

he

thought just because there was a revolution he could ignore orders and recommendations." Major Andri-

man paused

to catch his breath.

He

bit his lip, twisted

mouth to one side then to the other. "The son of a dog could have done it if he wanted. But don't worry, his

I'll

.

." .

"What has become

Andriman?" "My uncle is fine, he is fine. He was away for a few days but he is in Teheran now. As you may have heard he is no longer the Minister of War. The Great Leader has just made him a senator." of General

"A senator?" Major Andriman nodded. "These recent disturbances have brought

many

changes."

"I can't see any changes. This Leader of yours could initiate

changes

if

he dissolved his archaic regime. This

would endear him to progressive people all over the world, and make way, hopefully without bloodshed, for a revolutionary regime to take over and ..."

207

Major Andriman chuckled as he said, "It's obvious you don't understand the politics in our country."

much to understand the sad state country. You know, I was beginning

"It doesn't take politics in this

that

rejoice

was no longer

I

bureaucracy, that

ning from one

no

less

bureaucracy.

society

"Well,

I

am

suddenly less

convinced that is

not just our

it's

but that

sick,

this

retarded."

is

"You know,

I

which are no

politics

bureaucracy or our politics that

whole

be sent run-

to

another, but then

medieval and disgusting than the

am

I

to

the mercy of this

no longer had

I

office to

found myself caught in the irrational,

at

of

these views are not patriotic."

not patriotic. Patriotism

for school-

is

children."

"Daryoush, you must be very careful. People here don't like to hear such views."

"You always

say this, but

why should

what people of the fourteenth century "Well, maybe

now

things will

said, "I don't

ous that this country

and dislike." ." get better and we .

going forward

I'm sure no one, not even

and

and

regime, can stop

But

when

the present

is

so painful

An officer called Major Andriman tily said, It's

the time,

can't

I

future

this archaic

very obvi-

it's still far too backward and crude, content myself with visions of a happy

progress.

its

It's

all

.

the time,"

all

quarrel with that. is

damn

like

"I'm sure things are getting better

Aryana

give a

I

"Look Daryoush,

I'll

and

." .

.

and the

latter has-

take care of this for you.

not necessary to give you another letter to the

208

Bureau

of Civil Registration.

tonight and ask

them

to

just wait

make and

him

I'll

to call the

absolutely sure.

see.

You can be

speak with

Bureau, I'll

I

my

uncle

too will call

make them do

it,

sure that this time you'll

have your identity card. Just go to the Bureau on Sun-

day or Monday and see a Mr. Engineer Janan sure that's his

name

—the

Police

sionally has dealings with him.

Department

He

will have

— I'm occa-

your

identity card ready."

209

14 The

next day, shortly before noon, Aryana went across

the city to the

home

of

was dressed in Friday

and careful

Kourosh Firouzan. The family

clothes,

to avoid reckless

perfumed, well-combed,

movements

that

might en-

danger their neat appearance.

"Did you obtain your identity card yesterday?" Firouzan asked as they all walked the short distance to the party.

Aryana shook his head. "What's holding it up, anyway? You probably don't know how to go about it. Remember sometimes you

must shout at these people, you must threaten them, curse them ..." and threatening people." you must do it. You must

"I don't believe in cursing

"But here always

in this country

make them

feel

you are an important person, a

person with authority or that you are related to some-

one important, someone powerful. You must always drop names and

titles.

brother the Colonel say

my

For example, you must say

who

is

my

man, or here and His

a very nervous

friend General so-and-so sent

me

Excellency wants this to be done immediately

—im-

211

mediately. Military serious.

You must

titles

are the best. Don't laugh, I'm

always threaten and bully and bluff,

bow to you, obey anything you here we are."

then they'll fear you,

want them

to

do

—

In the house, about thirty or forty people, mostly relatives of

Laleh Firouzan, were assembled to spend

Friday together. Several of them were gathered in the

room playing poker, several others sat in an adjacent room playing rummy. A few of the guests walked back and forth from one room to the other chatting among themselves, watching and discussing the card living

games.

Kourosh Firouzan introduced Mrs. Sohrab Mani, the host and ored," the host, a his head.

"We

tall,

his friend to

Mr. and

"We

are hon-

hostess.

gray-haired man, said,

bowing

are very honored that you have conde-

poor hut with your footsteps." "Merci, merci. Yesterday Kourosh ..."

scended to grace

this

"Please, please, this

is

your own home, your own

home." "Mr. Aryana," the hostess eat something.

self,

these tables

said, "Please

Would you

Aryana shook his head and "This is what I call

"He won't

one of

Kourosh and

much about

want man," Mr. Mani

said that he didn't

a fine

waste his time playing cards. We'll just

stand here and talk. There son-in-law

like to sit at

and play?"

to play. said.

help your-

my

is

can learn.

My

daughter have told

me

much

I

Mrs. Mani excused herself and walked away; Mr. Mani affectionately held Aryana's

212

you."

arm and this

said,

"Let

"I'm

us, I too

don't like

here.

hear what you said."

sorry, I didn't

"I said,

I

too don't enjoy this gambling.

It's

They've been playing since nine o'clock

ing and they'll probably after midnight. I it

between

stay

it

gambling."

mean

wouldn't be bad, but

A man

sit if

so noisy

this

morn-

there and gamble until long

they played an hour or two,

that's all

came forward, bowed

they do.

said,

was

I

Mr. Mani and

to

Mani

salaam. "Salaam, salaam," Mr.

When

said

extending his

hand. "Did you just come in?" "Yes,

just..."

I

"Do you know Mr. Aryana? Mr. Aryana is a very, very distinguished, learned, worldly gentleman. Mr. Shaheen is

an

official at

the Ministry of Labor.

heen that Ministry

nothing.

is

He is

.

.

and Aryana shook hands, Mr. Mani father,

Without Mr. Sha." As Mr. Shaheen

said,

"How

is

your

Mr. Shaheen?"

"Thank you, he is

." .

.

"How is your uncle?" "Thank

you, he

." .

.

"How are the children?" "Thank you, "I fine

am

and

they kiss your

very glad, very glad.

." .

.

Thank God everyone

.

.

"How is your health, Mr. Mani?" am grateful to God, my health

"I

"Well, thank God, thank God.

your

is

."

is

not very ..."

How

is

the Banou,

sister?"

213

"By your kindness, she

."

not

is

.

.

"How are the children?" "Thank you, thank you, "Are they "Yes,

it's

all

is

.

.

.

."

a nice day today

"Yes, she

." .

here today?"

"Beg your pardon,

"By

they are very

I

.

.

didn't hear

what

."

in the parlor ..."

the way,

how

is

your brother?

I

haven't seen

him

in a long time."

"Thank you, my brother "And how is his wife?" "She

is

." .

.

." .

.

"Well, thank God, thank God.

I

was worried

." .

.

Mrs. Mani, the hostess, came by and said, "Mr. Aryana,

why aren't you eating something?

self,

please."

"Thank you,

"My

I'll

Please help your-

help myself."

me you

daughter Laleh told

years, I think she said

you lived

lived abroad

in

many

America and

in

Europe." "That's right,

have lived in

I

." .

.

"There is an American gentleman ." and "An American?" .

.

"Yes, an American. of

my

here, a close friend

brother.

Would you "Yes, yes,

He

like to I

He

is

a close friend

and colleague

has been here two, three years.

meet him?"

would

like to

meet him. Where

is

he?"

"He is in the other room, please come with me." They went into the other room where Mrs. Mani introduced 214

the two

men

to each other,

you how happy I am

to

and

them. "I can't

left

tell

meet you, Mr. Paparelli," Aryana

said in English.

"By the way, my name "Mine is Daryoush."

Dick/'

is

"Daryoush? That's a beautiful name. Daryoush. Daryoush.

It's

ancient and historic."

"So you're from America? You know, you are

.

.

."

"Daryoush the Great and Cyrus the Great. They were the greatest emperors of the Persian Empire. Right?

They were

fabulous

men

..."

"So you're an American. "Correct

who had

me

if

I

lived

.

.

."

I'm wrong, wasn't Daryoush the one

mighty army in Persepolis and invaded

that

Greece?" ".

.

.

in

America

"You know,

several years

I've visited the ruins of Persepolis eight

times, eight times. I tell really fantastic ".

.

.

".

.

.

.

.

you those ancient empires were

."

friends in America. fantastic, fantastic.

"What

and have many ..."

What

part of the

." .

So you're Daryoush

.

.

.

."

part of the United States are you from?"

"What?" "I said what state are you from?" "Well,

my

folks live in

New

York. But

I

guess

I

am

from California. ..." "Really?

we

You are from

California?

You know in a way

are compatriots."

"That's right.

I feel

a kinship with your people.

I feel

like a Persian."

215

"What

I

meant was

southern California.

that

.

.

we both

home

feel at

in

."

home there. I hate that phony place. I much prefer living in this part of the world. Let me tell you something, Americans and Europeans don't know how to live. Here it is different, people don't rush all the "I don't feel at

time, there isn't all that aggravation, all that

around trying love

to

keep up with the Joneses.

you,

I

and the people here and every-

here. I love Persia

it

running

I tell

thing."

"I

am delighted

wouldn't

that

you

like

it

here. I only wish

you

call it Persia."

"What

shall I call it?"

"Iran."

"No

I

don't like Iran,

I like

"

Persia

"But we have always called our country Iran. Persia not an accurate name; it is more a fantasy of the Western world. I mean no offense to you but I've noticed that people who don't want to or who cannot view is

country

this

realistically call

though the people here

it

way

Persia. In a

insisted

on

calling

it's

as

you and

other Americans Mr. Rockefeller or Al Capone or Jesse

James." "I don't get

thing,

who

I

am

what you mean. But

always disappointed

"It

who

when

I

can't enjoy their beautiful country

Europe or America. is

no

less

I

think

it's

sad,

you some-

I'll tell

it's

see Persians

and go

very sad.

." .

.

sad than the American or European

can't adjust to

modern

life,

has to run

seek refuge in the world of the Middle Ages."

216

to

away and

The American saying, "I haven't

stared resentfully at

Aryana before

run away from anywhere. Besides,

what's wrong with the Middle Ages?"

"There's nothing wrong it,

you weren't brought up

if

in

then given the opportunity to see a better world."

"You know, ple,

that's the trouble

you go abroad and lose

all

with some of you peo-

that authentic

and ancient

charm you've inherited. Well, perhaps I shouldn't talk this way, you Persians are so darned sensitive. I sometimes forget and speak freely, thinking I'm back home. I better get back to my friends. Perhaps I'll see you again." Aryana nodded and moved away. This man is as confused as I am, he thought. But it's good there are Americans and Europeans who aren't sensitive to our backwardness and come here to work and live just as we live in their countries and don't mind their problems. This should help

mix

and eventually do away with

the peoples of the world nationality.

He began

to

walk back to the other room when Mrs. Mani, the hostess,

aren't

suddenly confronted him. "Mr. Aryana,

why

you eating something? Please help yourself."

Aryana stood behind one of the card players and watched the men and women as they sat around a large round table, gambling. Soon after, lunch was served and the guests were

all

summoned into the dining room. The

long table was covered with a bewildering variety of foods, hot

tables

and

cold, foreign

and

native.

Two

small side

were covered with more foods and refreshments.

A couple of maidservants, as well as the hostess and several of her female relatives, ran in

and out of the dining 217

room removing empty

and bringing more food. went to the ad-

dishes

Several people helped themselves and

joining rooms to eat, the rest sat or hovered around the table.

They

all ate

prodigiously, praised the meal to

and toasted the elders of the family. the men went about the room prodding several

the high heavens

One

of

of the others to eat quickly so they could go back to their poker game.

"Let

me eat in peace,

I can't

play this afternoon, any-

way."

"Why not? We've only played a few hours." want to go to Alvand Stadium." "I

"Since

when

this political

you interested

are

"I'm not interested in

Leader

at the

in politics?"

politics, I

promised to take

my

we all watch the paratroopers, the peoand the gendarmes. They say it's very exciting." can

children so ple,

meeting

"Forget about the meeting,

"Nezam

is

right,

let's

go and play."

why do you want

to waste

your time

going to a meeting? Let's continue our game."

"But tell

if

he wants to go

you the

to the Stadium, let

truth, I myself

these political meetings. culture, what's his

name,

would

They is

him

like to attend

go.

To

one of

say this Minister of Agri-

and the

a formidable speaker

people really worship him." "I think they worshiped the National Front leaders

more.

I

happened

to

be near one of those

the recent uprisings and

you

can't believe

rallies

how

during

the peo-

ple raved and cheered. I've never seen anything like that."

218

"There are people here who also worship the Leader." "Mr. Aryana has an interesting observation. Mr. Aryana, why don't you say aloud what you just told me." "I just said that life

seems to

it

and autocratic

heavily on authority, fear

seems to me

said that

it

with

exclusivism

and majesty, only ity. It

family

do not instill in our authority. Here people lean

social system

people a healthy attitude to

its

me our patriarchal

it,

and are

in

awe

this type of political

of

intensifies the people's

I also

regime here,

— —how do they — its

it.

say

its

pomp

awe of author-

encourages extremes of rebelliousness and sub-

—

We

must try to humanize authority don't remember what else I said." "If I were the leader I'd show you what must be done missiveness.

for this country."

would be a great leader." "What would you do if you were leader?" "What would I do? Well, first of all I'd hold free elections a month or two after I became leader ..." "Knowing you, if you became leader you would never hold elections. You'd enjoy being leader and would find "Yes, Big Uncle

all sorts

of excuses to postpone elections."

would stick to my promise. I would be a good leader because I really know what the people want. I would do away with corruption and dictatorship and favoritism and ." "That's not true.

I

.

.

"My dear cousin, being a leader isn't that simple. You wouldn't even know how to handle the country's affairs with foreign powers.

You know nothing about

inter-

national relations and ..."

219

would have a man who has been abroad and who knows about I might even make you my foreign minister." "Who? Me?" "I

would have

a foreign minister.

I

—

"Yes,

why not?"

"But

I

"What I

am if

your cousin."

you are

my cousin? I can appoint whomever

want." "That's kind of you.

I

think

I

Now that I

think of

it,

why

not?

would be an effective foreign minister."

"Big Uncle, you've made a very wise appointment."

"As foreign minister,

my

act

first

would be

to

make

the Foreign Ministry a smooth, efficient, well-coordi-

nated department

"

"You wouldn't do anything of the sort." "Of course, I would, why not?" "/ would have to decide on that, not you." "But

I

"What

am if

foreign minister.

.

." .

you are foreign minister? / appointed you

foreign minister, don't forget that. If you think just be-

cause

I

have made you foreign minister, you can act

the leader

and make

decisions,

I'll

as

throw you out im-

mediately. Don't laugh, you are always this way, you

know more than everybody else." "But then why would you appoint me foreign minister? You know nothing about the foreign ministry and

always think you

diplomacy, yet ..."

know more than you. You think just bespent a month in Kerbela and speak a few

"I certainly

cause you've

220

words of English, you know everything about diplomacy

and international problems." "I didn't say I

certainly

know everything about diplomacy, but

know more than you."

"No you angry

I

don't,

and stop saying you do,

get very

I'll

you."

at

"When

I

think of

it,

why should

be foreign

I just

minister? I could be the leader. That's right,

I

the leader, a very effective leader, because I

informed and

could be

am

well-

I can ..."

"That's nonsense, you can't be a leader." "I

would

"Damn it, stop bragging. always

hate that,

I

I

hate

it.

"Gentlemen, gentlemen, please stop arguing.

you are cousins, you are shouldn't fight and berate each other." all,

"That's right, this whole thing

argue about a

silly

.

You are

is

a joke,

It's

not

you

friends,

you shouldn't

thing like this."

"I wasn't arguing with him.

say he

I just

is

mistaken

he thinks he can be leader." "I'm not mistaken, people who know

I

.

..."

proper. After

if

."

certainly be a better leader than you.

me

all

say that

." .

.

"Well, of us

is

"Very

"You "Not

let's

more

ask the people right here which of the two qualified to be leader.

well, let's ask

are both being at all, I

." .

.

them." ." silly.

.

.

enjoy this sort of thing. This

is

they call the democratic process, the people decide

what

who

221

—

should be their leader

exactly as in a democratic coun-

try."

"Since everybody

am

of the interior. I

"Very

well,

"Now,

let's

for leader. till I

is

getting a post,

I'll

be the minister

in charge of the elections."

you are

in charge of the elections."

have your votes,

We have

two candidates

begin here and slowly go around the room

I'll

have everybody's vote. You agha, for

whom do you

your vote?"

cast

"Leave me out of this. As you ested in politics.

am

I

know,

I

too busy earning a

children and family to care

all

know what

is

am not interliving for my

happening and

who is leader."

"How about you, agha?" "Why do you ask me, ask

the others

first. I'll

accept

anyone who becomes leader." "This agha won't take part in the elections far neither candidate has a vote.

"If dates.

So

agha?"

you ask me, I don't like either of these candiDon't laugh, I am serious. I don't trust these

men who

struggle hard to

the same.

They

cousin.

become leaders. They are all But I am not ambitious

are all tyrants.

and can be a more

my

And you,

either.

reliable leader than

.

brother or

.

"You are not a candidate,

"My

my

."

brother always does

don't disrupt the elections." this.

rupt everything, yet he claims he "That's true,

I

am

He is

always likes to

dis-

not ambitious."

not ambitious. But everyone here

knows that you always want to be leader and give orders and have your way in everything." 222

"I at least

am open

about

it.

I

admit that

leader and do things for people.

me

.

I like to

be

." .

You can't be a leader. You can hardly manage your own affairs. ..." "Look who is accusing me of not being able to manage personal affairs a man who is constantly at odds with "Don't make

laugh.

—

his wife,

body

.

tyrannizes his children, fights with every."

.

"Gentlemen,

let's

get

on with the

elections.

." .

.

"I don't fight with anybody, you are the one

always

fights.

Everyone knows

this.

You aren't on own

ing terms with half of your relatives, your will have nothing to to see

who

speaksisters

do with you and you never even go

your father and mother.

.

.

."

goddamned lie. I see them more often than you see them. You know, your trouble is that you are so damned selfish ." "You are selfish everyone knows that. You always want to act as the leader and dominate everybody. You "That's a

.

.

—

may

succeed with others, but you can't push

me

around. ..." "I don't think

"You

are just

"I don't think

"You

are just

"Damn

it,

"No,

won't

say.

.

.

I

let

.

.

." ."

.

.

.

.

." ."

.

.

me

talk.

you

let

.

." .

talk.

You have nothing

."

"You have nothing

to say.

You

are like a mule."

223

to

"Gentlemen, gentlemen, what happened to the

elec-

tions?"

"You

are the mule. It was

as a brother.

my

misfortune to have you

..."

"The elections, the elections. I give up." "Go to hell. I shouldn't even waste my time arguing ." with a punk like you. .

"Look, don't

call

.

me

neck.

.

I'll

break your

.

"Gentlemen, gentlemen, "If

punk,

a

."

it

please.

." .

.

weren't for these guests, I'd teach you a lesson

right now. ..."

"Gentlemen,

you

please.

whole thing.

started this

"No,

You know,

not his fault,

it's

it's

it's

all

your

fault,

." .

.

his brother's fault, he's

always this way. First he began quarreling with his cousin, then he picked

on

his brother. ..."

"That's right, he always wants to others.

He

is

"You're a cousin of

like a dictator."

liar,

his.

way on

foist his

my

husband didn't

start this. It's this

." .

.

"Please. Please. Please. Stop this fighting. eral people tried to intervene

and

conciliate,

.

.

."

Sev-

but soon

and uncles and cousins and sisters and wives and in-laws took sides and it was not long before the argument between brothers and cousins degenerated fathers

more general family quarrel. They shouted at one another, cursed and threatened, and rapidly the commotion grew noisy and wild. Several of the family elders who had been sitting in into a

224

an adjoining room intervened, and

after

much

shout-

pleading, and reprimanding managed to put an

ing,

Those involved in the fight were made to kiss and hug, and the few who resisted the conciliation efforts were pushed and pulled and made to kiss and make up. end

to the altercation.

"Let's go back to our poker game."

"Yes,

let's

go back to our game.

anyway? Anytime we

Why

we

did

stop, this sort of thing

stop

happens."

As the people slowly dispersed through the house, a him and said, "These people have no shame, even in the presence of

lady standing next to Aryana turned to

strangers they fight. Please forgive this distasteful scene. It is

shameful." She looked about at the people and

muttered, "They are always this way. fight.

You know how families

They

always

are."

"Yes, yes, of course. ..."

"In a country where brothers,

among themselves and how can we expect people agree

relatives, friends can't

cooperate in small matters, to

work together and

co-

operate in larger matters?"

Many of the guests sat at play, the rest all

the card tables

walked from one room

and began

to

to the other

on a window sill watching the people in the rooms and the children in the courtyard. He was suddenly seized by an overwhelming desire to be with Safoura. He walked watching and discussing the games. Aryana

casually out of the

room and

sat

quietly left the house.

He

hurried through the streets and in and out of the narrow, dingy alleys toward the Old City.

225

ir Safoura opened the door and

let

him

in.

"I was afraid

you wouldn't be home today. Are you busy?"

"What

am

if I

busy?

You

are always so considerate,

Daryoush Khan." "Well,

it's

Friday and

I

thought you might be with

your family." "I was with

my

family until about an hour ago. Did

you get your identity card?"

"They have promised But you know how they I'll

have

to give

fetch

dare believe

it."

my

dear agha,

let

me

and drink." They went into Aryana lay down on the wide she brought him honey cakes and homemade

you something

mattress,

me on Monday.

are. I just don't

"Well, don't be sad. Come,

the back

to

it

room and

jams and sharbats.

room with

its

to eat

as

He

looked about at the familiar

suspended lantern, ornamental cushions,

the old tapestries covering the walls, the ceiling, and

he muttered,

it's

good

to

be here,

it's

began

again. Safoura knelt beside him, caress

good

to

to

be here

rub and

him, but he half-arose, made her remain on her

knees and pulled up her dress.

.

.

.

227

When to

they stretched out on the mattress she began

rub him

gently.

"Do you want anything

to eat or

drink?"

He

shook his head.

"You know, you are the most

man

man, Daryoush. You

—how do they —the most paradoxical

I've ever

say

known."

Aryana turned "I think

are a strange

his

head and regarded her.

the right word.

it's

and these women

in the

I

mean, you

You

are so

humane,

at the

violent. I just don't understand.

know how modern you

How

ever met anyone

about the

who

And

is

not

all,

so

you

about prog-

don't think I've

I

much

and reminisce about

past,

this

are, always talking

loved so

this pos-

is

same time you are

and the future, but you know

ress

me

neighborhood with respect and

consideration, yet you like to hurt. sible?

treat

his

and

to sit

talk

childhood and

up at the ceiling and shook her head. "You confuse me. You really confuse me. Do you remember that man I told you about? Well, I everything." She looked

problem with him. He was violent and

never had

this

tyrannical

and old-fashioned and

his reactions. I

way

—

you,

clear

I just

that was that.

I

knew

understood him, because he was one

and without contradictions. But people don't understand. Just as

understand you, just

as I

I

like

begin to think

I

begin to think you are one

way, you do something the other way, and

I

am

left

completely confused."

He

did not reply, but remained immobile, gazing at

the tapestries, at impressions of remote gardens where

228

mind went

lovers dallied beneath cypress trees. His

around and around; he had long ago stopped trying to understand

this

paradox, this confusion, which entailed

more than simply understanding himself. For he was a product of many cultures and above all, of many eras, and therefore did not belong wholly to any one culture, any one era. He lived on the fringes of societies and ages and like a rootless, restless dervish wandered in these unsettled fringes, searching and searching for a world and an era to belong to. Long after she had fallen asleep, he remained awake thinking, gazing at the drawings on the tapestries

—

which, in the weak, flickering light of the lantern

seemed

to

come

strangely to

against a couple

Looking

at

hair and

brown

he

sat

up, leaned

and regarded Safoura.

of pillows

skin

which was the color of the Iranian

came

to

felt closest to his

though he had

woman

him that with a country own severed roots. For althe

felt this affinity, this closeness to

women

earth with some foreign

Jewish

He

her wide hips and heavy thighs, her dark

earth, the thought

woman

life.

in America)

it

(for instance,

was with a

native land that he felt closest to his past closest to his self. It

occurred to him

he had always unconsciously known

why he had not taken

a

woman

woman

that

of his

and therefore

now

that perhaps

this

and that was

but had waited until he

returned to his native land.

When

I rest

he thought, soil of this

it's

my as

head on the bosom of

though

country.

I

When

have rested

my

this Safoura,

head on the

her hands caress

my

head,

229

they are

my

mother's hands caressing me.

bodies are united, of

my native

life?

enjoy the music tions I enjoy?

earth and to

can give. I

linked to the

Does

it

woman

dear country

enigmas of

I feel

land.

Does

of

She gives

my

past

He sat up

should try to take

mine cannot

and the earth

this

sit

our

woman,

and

this

discuss the

really matter that she does not

it

I like,

soil

matter that

When

the books I read, the conversa-

me

that sense of closeness to the

which no

intellectual stimulation

when I go abroad with me an Iranian woman, maybe

thinking, perhaps

Taking her I will be taking a part of and whenever I feel homesick and crave to go back, I will go into her, I will open her and look at her and I will drink and drink and drink from her till all this sadness, all this loneliness, all this nostalgia and emptiness diminish and bring me a little comfort. And when one day, in some remote place, far away from here, death calls me, I will put my head on her body and feel that I have, for the last time, returned to my native land and I will rest in peace. He fell asleep, but woke up in the middle of the night and felt Safoura's hand roaming all over his body. "Daryoush, make love to me again." In the darkness, her large thighs opened and took him in. He remained there on her the whole night, and dreamt over and over again that the Old City had opened up and taken him even

my

this Safoura.

native land with me,

in.

Aryana stayed with her the next day and the day after and the two hardly left the back room. On Mon230

Aryana arose early and went to the Bureau of Civil Registration. Mr. Engineer Janan welcomed him

day,

warmly and invited him to sit down. "It's been a long time I haven't had the honor to see you, Mr. Aryana." ''You were the first person I saw here more than two ." months ago. Since then I have been running after "Yes, yes, of course. But why didn't you tell me you were a friend of Mr. Kourosh Firouzan? I wish you had told me you were his friend, I would have issued your identity card that very first day you came here, I would .

.

have issued

it

immediately."

Aryana stared at him but did not reply. "A few days ago I think it was last Thursday was

it

ship

I

— — Thursday— Kourosh Firouzan, whose

yes,

friend-

last

have had the honor of enjoying many

here to see

me

about some

affair of his,

look Engineer, at the Police Department

years,

came

and he

said,

I just

an old friend, Mr. Daryoush Aryana, who has

ran into lost his

and needs a new one. Be nice and help He is a very refined man, and he doesn't

identity card

him get it. know his way around these offices. I told him, I said, look Kourosh, I remember this agha, he came here to see me a long time ago, had I known he was your friend, I

would have been honored

mand and

he came here."

He

offered

Aryana

dered the attendant to bring of

Kourosh Firouzan. This

rosh

is

-"Yes,

a very, very fine

he

to

obey his com-

issue his identity papers that very first time

is

a fine

is

tea.

cigarettes

and

or-

"So you are a friend

a pleasant surprise.

Kou-

man. ..."

man. Mr. Janan,

last

week, Major 231

Andriman

instructed

me

come here today and

to

re-

my identity card from you. He said General Andriman would call you about it." Mr. Engineer Janan frowned as he said, "Who is General Andriman? Do you mean General Andriman ceive

the statesman?" "Yes, yes."

"This

is

very strange.

from anyone

to issue

I

haven't received instructions

your card. God

one from higher up has called cellency General

me

is

my

about

witness,

it.

no

His Ex-

If

Andriman had called this Bureau, known about it."

everyone would certainly have

"This about

is

indeed strange. But he promised to

call

you

my identity card."

"I swear to you, Mr. Aryana, that he hasn't called.

Ask anyone you want. This hide.

not something one can

is

He is a very, very important person."

"Didn't a Major Andriman

call

You can be

"Absolutely not.

here either?"

sure that

no one has

called here about your paper."

"But

don't understand,

I just

don't understand.

They promised to call." "Well, maybe they forgot. These

are very busy peo-

ple.

I

But anyway,

it

doesn't matter that they haven't

called."

"What do you mean?" "As

I

told you,

here and asked

me

our friend Kourosh Firouzan was to help you,

would. That same day after he

found

all

232

the information you

and

I

left, I

had

promised him

I

went downstairs, Mr. Bastan's

left at

and made out an identity card for you. I am very happy to tell you that it's all ready now." He opened a drawer and pulled out a paper which he gave to Aryana. ''Here is your identity paper, Mr. Aryana." office

Aryana arose and stared

in disbelief at his identity

he muttered. "I can't believe

card. "I can't believe it," it."

"Beg your pardon?" "I waited so long for this, I

it.

how

am

very grateful.

to

thank you. ..."

me

only did

am

can't believe I have

I

very grateful.

Mr. Aryana.

"Please, please,

having given

I

now

I

don't

know

must thank you

I

for

the honor to be of service to you. I

my duty as a friend."

Aryana thanked him again and went out of the room. Overjoyed and relieved, he walked downstairs, staring at his identity card.

told himself.

How

often have

appointed, dejected. believe

it,

I'm so happy

Now

can't believe

I

I

it

at last,

it

he dis-

at last. I just can't

never thought

I

it.

have

walked out of here

have

I

I

it

would

must be careful never again to lose this paper which says I am Iranian. It is good to be sometake so long.

thing.

It's

I

good

to

know

that

thing or some place. Even I'll

always keep

about

He

go and

this. I'll

that having

this. I'll

my

if

you are a part of someI never come back here,

go right

tell

now and

everybody.

identity card

I

tell

Safoura

never thought

would make me

so happy.

stood a long time in front of the building reading

At length, he walked slowly through the courtyard. As he was about to go and rereading

his identity paper.

233

into the street, he

saw Colonel Bourmand standing

at

The Colonel saw him and nodded. "Did you obtain the paper you rethe gate chatting with two men.

quested?"

Aryana waved his identity card and smiled. "Why didn't you come back to see me at the Police Department?"

"You made appointments with me but you never kept them." "Well, I'm very busy at the Police Department.

It's

not easy to see everybody." "It doesn't matter

you couldn't

see

now, but you should have told

me

me, rather than make promises and

not keep them."

The

Colonel frowned

you seem to see

to think

as

he stared

you were doing

favor. I

to

me

Aryana. "Agha, a favor

coming

me."

"I wasn't doing you a favor,

and

at

it

I

wasn't asking a

needed a paper from the Police Department,

seems to

help

and

me

me

obtain

and thank God,

I

it it.

was the duty of the

Anyway,

I

have

don't have to put

officials

my

there

paper now,

up with

all this

anymore." Still

frowning, the Colonel said,

anyway? Let

me

"What

is

this

paper

see it."

Aryana involuntarily held out his hand and the Colonel took the paper from him and glanced at it. "This is an identity card. It had nothing to do with us at the Police

Department."

"They gave me 234

the runaround here at the Bureau,

me

Department for a certificate of my Iranian nationality. At the Police Department they also gave me the runaround and in the end didn't give me the paper I needed. God knows how long I then sent

to the Police

ran after this identity card.

bad

as

as this.

abroad,

I

of days.

.

Why are these

people this way?

could have taken care of

If I

this in just a

were

couple

." .

"Enough saying. If

here,

have never seen anything

I

why

of this, agha.

you don't

You

don't

know what you

way

things are handled

like the

Go

don't you go away?

are

any damned place

to

We don't need people who criticize this country. We want people who are proud of their coun-

you want. try. If

you are not proud

"It's

my

of this country, go away. ..."

You

right to criticize.

are afraid of facing the problems.

"You

are not

.

.

."

from here, you are not one of

"Stop shouting, Colonel.

I

angrily. "I'll speak

you

."

us.

.

.

don't want to stand here

and argue with you. Give back to go now." "I will not give

you

are not realistic,

my identity card,

this paper," the

I

have

Colonel said

with the authorities about

this."

"Speak with anyone you want, but you have no right to

withhold

"Who

my identity card."

says I don't?

I'm an

officer of the Police

De-

You don't have the right to speak so irreverAny other officer would have had you arrested

partment. ently.

immediately.

Now

go away before

I

myself have you

arrested."

-The Colonel put Aryana's identity card

in

235

his

pocket,

and groaning indignantly walked toward

police jeep parked in the street.

Aryana began

a

to stop

him and demand his paper, but the other two men held him back, and one of them said, "Look agha, you better go away immediately. His Excellency the Colonel

is

may have you arrested, and you know how difficult it is to get out." The Colonel drove away in the jeep and Aryana

very angry and

stood on the sidewalk, transfixed.

He

time staring vacantly at the

traffic.

At

away

.

slowly, aimlessly.

The

.

.

stood

still

a long

length, he walked

next day Daryoush Aryana's body was found in

one of the narrow

were notified and

Old City. The police body was removed and the fol-

alleys of the

his

lowing report issued:

The

cause of this man's death

Iranian and

is

year 1964.

unknown.

He

looks

But the only document foreign and has only numbers

circumcised.

found in his pocket is on it. Some notes written a brief letter

is

in a foreign

language include

from abroad (without envelope) dated the

No

identity papers

were found on him, and

name and nationality are not known. This mans body was kept here three

his

relative or friend or foreign

days.

embassy came

But no to

claim

him.

Teheran Police 9 Azar 1343

236

mm

m

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