Gurdjieff Group Work with Willem Nyland 0877285802

Table of contents :
Acknowledgements
Table of Contents
PART I: BACKGROUND
PART II: MEETINGS
Meeting, June 18, 1952
Meeting, June 24, 1952
Fragmentary Notes from Meeting, July 22, 1952
Meeting, October 28, 1952
Meeting, January 6, 1953
PART III: TASKS AND THEMES
Gurdjieff Group Work with Wilhem Nyland

Citation preview

Wilhem Nyland

Published 1983 by Samuel Weiser, Inc. Box 612 York Beach, Maine 03910 © Irmis B. Popoff, 1983 ISBN 0-87728-580-2 Library of Congress Catalog Card Number: 83-60365 All rights reserved. This book may not be reproduced in any form without permission of the publisher. Reviewers may quote brief passages without permission; all others must write publisher for permission. Printed in the U.S.A.

With very special thanks to Madame JEANNE DE SALZMANN whose steady hand and unerring judgment made it possible for me to dare to "cross the bridge" undaunted.*

★Meetings with Remarkable Men, Peter Brook, director; Remar

Productions.

Acknowledgements I wish to express my very special appreciation of the loving and special help on the part of the following members of the Pinnacle Group, without whose understanding and devoted help these memoirs would not have been submitted for publication: Harriet Krull Ruth Halpern Warren Adis Robert Ross Stephanie Ross Hermine Gilbert Richard Gilbert Zebulun Horowitz Ann Horowitz Susan Tannenbaum Susan Stein Walter Alexander David McFeeters Stanley Grill Audrey Melkin Esse Chasin and very especially to Lord John Pentland ror his disciplined help and guidance, without which 'what comes after” would never have happened.

Table of Contents Part I:

Background ............................................ 1

Part II:

Meetings ............................................... 17

Part II:

Tasks and Themes ................................ 61

This book is affectionately dedicated to the Biblical children of Wilhem Nyland's old age, as in the Book of Job (42: 13-17), and to his daughter, Carola.

PART I: BACKGROUND

This section is a personal account of my group work under Mr. Nyland's leadership. It encompasses the following personal experiences: 1. Preparation to meet Mr. Gurdjieff and learn the movements; 2. Mr. Gurdjieffs last stay in New York working at the Wellington Hotel and a Carnegie Hall studio, among other places; 3. The very active period preceding the organization of the Foundation and Mr. Nyland's very devoted service as one of the leaders in New York; 4. Mr. Nyland's apparent severance of active ties with the Foundation; 5. Mr. Nyland's independent work with the groups which came later to be known as the Barn people.

As I understood Mr. Nyland to say, it was at an organizational meeting called by Mr. Gurdjieff shortly before he departed for Paris, never to return, that several persons were given special tasks representing the Work, among them: Lord Pentland, representative in the Americas and Canada; M. Zuber, representative in France; J.G. Bennett, representative in England; and Mme. de Salzmann, general groups representative. But pointing to Mr. Nyland, Mr. Gurdjieff said, "For this man I say nothing, because he will have to do very important work for me later on." My recollection is that Mr. Nyland was very active in helping the new group leaders who were engaged in the dissemination of Mr. Gurdjieff's ideas. He helped some of them to learn how to lead groups and to answer questions according to the Work methodology. He himself was actively leading a group, personally helping most of the members to understand themselves and life situations according to the Work approach. Indefatigable in his efforts to bring the ideas to the level where they would yield the richest fruit for each individual, for the group as a whole, and for the Work itself, Mr. Nyland spared no effort in helping to explain the difficulties which beset us all. He sought always to obtain more frequent opportunities for interaction with other groups, just as he had before Mr. Gurdjieff's departure. He gave without stint from his horn of plenty to those who worked with him, and allowed no one to fall asleep if he could snap him out of it. He struggled against the growing opposition which he said he encountered in his approach to this teaching and to his handling of his group. This opposition came not only from his family but from his own group family as well. He gave and gave and 3

4 GURDJIEFF GROUP WORK WITH WILHEM NYLAND

gave. This was frowned upon. He paid no heed. He was a leader who loved impartially the people whom he led. He foresaw the role which he would eventually play as the leader of a large number of people, many of whom had just been born, and many of whom were yet to be born. At this time, we met in quite uncomfortable quarters, rented very reasonably, because his groups were never rich and were on the receiving rather than the giving end. Give he did, God bless him. He was a born teacher who felt his essence relationship with those he called his own. In those days Mr. Nyland was not the lecturer, with hundreds of followers, that he was later to become, and he could still maintain close personal contact with the people who formed his groups. It is to the earlier period that these memoirs pertain. At the time, I was the group secretary, and I continued to work with him as I had with Mr. Ouspensky—that is, making a mental account of all he said, the questions addressed to him, his answers, and the tasks he assigned to the general group and to each individual member. It is about these tasks and meetings that I wish to write for the benefit of the Barn people and all who did not have an opportunity to work with him on the same basis. Moreover, he always urged me to take better and better mental notes so that I might some day share with those who could not work directly with him. This was before the Foundation was formed, when many things changed, because the group leaders, of which Mr. Nyland was one of the foremost, began to hold their meetings at the Foundation instead of their private quarters, and we no longer met at Mr. Nyland's midtown apartment. At around that time our Group Two came into being and, fortunately or otherwise, I was among those chosen to form this new Group Two. I was never happy about this. Not only did I miss the close ties and

Part I: Background 5

friendships I had formed with persons in Mr. Nyland's groups, but I missed Mr. Nyland sorely as the one who had been helping me to keep alive and growing the seeds that Mr. Ouspensky had planted in me years before. I remember well, it was around this time that the tape recordings first began, that the week following my "promotion" to Group Two, my former group was to meet on its usual Monday evening to discuss the Holy Planet Purgatory, about which Mr. Nyland knew quite as much, I believe, as Mr. Gurdjieff himself. I arrived at his apartment feeling still very much a part of this particular group. He began by saying, "I see that we are all here. Even Mrs. Popoff, who no longer belongs with us." "But my heart is here," I answered. "I feel this is where I belong." He said, "Your heart, yes. Your body, no. You belong with the others, and it is where you must be from now on." That is how it was. All of us now in this Group Two who had been with him before were disconsolate thinking we would no longer profit from his help. But in this we were not quite right, because Mr. Nyland continued to talk to all his former groups in general meetings at the Foundation. Members of Group One had been assigned to talk about Mr. Gurdjieff's ideas to a general assembly comprised of people from various leaders' groups. This helped us and made us feel better about the change, but we knew it would never be the same. Meetings at the Foundation with Mr. Nyland and other leaders continued over a long period of time. As the years passed, the tape recording system came into existence and proved to be a great boon to people who joined the Work much after us. Mr. Nyland asked several of his men to set up recorders when he spoke at the House, and some of us, including myself, who were taking lecture notes and typing at the Foundation, were now assigned to look after

6 GURDJIEFF GROUP WORK WITH WILHEM NYLAND

his tapes. We were also given the opportunity to work with resumes of his tapes. This was an excellent way to bring into focus our understanding of his ideas about the Work. Eventually Mr. Nyland had to discontinue speaking at the Foundation. He removed his groups and began holding meetings at his own apartment nearby. Later on, meetings were held in a small brownstone, where just as had been true formerly, numerous people gathered to meet and work for him, with him, and with one another. Evidently at this time Mr. Nyland had wanted to help those people who had become victims of the drug habit. Naturally, this had to be frowned upon, but Mr. Nyland must have known why he found it necessary to work with them. It was also during this period that members of our Group Two were assigned to "sit" with leaders from Group One to assist them, to learn how to instruct, and to work on ourselves by answering questions. I had no such assignments then. In fact, despite my close connection with Mr. Nyland, it was Mr. V. who was appointed to assist him. Nevertheless, I was determined not to lose my connection with the one person who had helped me with my personal work. The group to which I now belonged was still in the "hatching" process, and no special leader was as yet appointed to direct it. At first two persons from Group One sat with us when we met and answered the questions which arose. For me, this was a dynamic period, and my sorrow at Mr. Nyland's disappearance from the scene was half-balanced by this new effort to maintain the unity of our group. I began to attend Mr. Nyland's meetings at noon and at night, always in silence because he felt that I might be told to discontinue my visits to his group unless I came almost

Part I: Background 7

incognito, and it was not necessary to bring the matter into the open. 'Useless misunderstandings must be avoided," he would say. And avoid them he did, but I continued to "visit" his group off and on, to type his R^sum^s from his tapes and to help set up a Card Index for them. I brought many persons to him during this period. It was a rather sad time when young people became the victims of drug abuse and could be seen everywhere having fits or sitting on sidewalks behaving like lost souls. These were the persons Mr. Nyland sought to help. Obviously he could not bring them into the House. One does not put rotten apples in with healthy ones without inviting disaster, and it was undesirable to bring these "mendicant sleepers" into the austere and disciplined sanctum of the House. I feel that it must be said that it was Mr. Nyland's compassionate desire to help these distraught youngsters of the late '60s that made it necessary for him apparently to sever his connection with the Foundation. The first time I came to Mr. Nyland's new quarters for a meeting, it was for the purpose of bringing three or four "candidates for therapy" of the sort he was now offering. He had moved from midtown Lexington Avenue to a lovely small building in the east thirties where he had two floors, including a railroad flat on one floor. It was arranged in a charming fashion, and there were two rooms which had been converted into a meeting hall. To my astonishment, I saw a number of young persons sprawled all over the floor. There was a young man in the library who was apparently about to have some kind of a fit. A young woman was attempting to help him, and he seemed to be struggling against whatever it was he was facing. I could hardly believe my eyes, but somehow I understood and approved. Actually, I loved Mr. Nyland all the more because I saw the extent of his sacrifice for a goal that was almost unreachable.

8 GURDJIEFF GROUP WORK WITH WILHEM NYLAND

But he had a large, lively group, and the tapes kept growing in number as well as in quality, until a very large, beautiful library of tapes was available to anyone who asked for it. It was a magnificent idea. There were already over one thousand tapes, and the number kept growing since every time Mr. Nyland spoke to his groups, which was practically all the time, he would tape the speech. He even held lunch meetings for those unable to come at night. Those were rare and beautiful moments that he shared with us all. It seems to me that there was never a moment, day or night, that Mr. Nyland stopped working for the Work, trying to find and experiment with new ways of "climbing the mountain" together with any of his flock who were ready to follow him. At about this time, Mr. Nyland was establishing groups in California, in the South, and elsewhere. Long trips were arranged in which Mr. Nyland would take thirty to forty cars of followers and head West, stopping overnight to visit groups already established. They travelled through many states, often doing the Movements at midnight under starry skies in some far-off mountain glade or park, or at dawn, with the entire troupe participating. All the way West he was with a caravan of thirty or more cars, and was accompanied with even more on his return back East. A magnificent experience! A really Gurdjieffian effort to bring the Work as he saw it to groups that were being established wherever he went and found depend­ able followers. These groups he could now maintain thanks to his many tapes and to the Movements he would leave with them, usually the first Obligatories, which he taught to anyone who came to him in good faith. And he could tell who came in good faith. He had a keen sense of values and a world-wide experience. He knew—and he did not hide his knowledge; he shared it, and it was there for all to take if they could and would use it.

Part I: Background 9

Those who did so and showed through their efforts their valuation of the Work were authorized to get together and form reading groups as a beginning. Questions were taped at these meetings and sent to Mr. Nyland, who thereby could get to know even those he had not met and respond to their questions and difficulties. Thus, Mr. Gurdjieff's Work grew throughout the United States. I was present when Mr. Nyland announced to those not directly involved in the activities of his group that while they could not do practical physical work at his residence, inasmuch as they had to respect the rights of others not connected with the group, it did not matter. He promised them that they would have their own place which they could bring "out of the mud" through their own hands and efforts; a place where he would live with them and teach them all he knew about how to apply Mr. Gurd­ jieff's Work. It was shortly afterwards, while Mr. Nyland was on one of his auto trips to California, that the lovely little place in midtown Manhattan burned down together with over a thousand tapes and r^sumds, as well as his belongings. He was recalled to New York where he soon announced that a smaller place had been rented further downtown as a temporary meeting place. "We had a small accident," he said upon his return. "But we have a will, and will find a way to get back on our feet without delay. Everyone must work and help.' And everyone did, to the best of his abilities. G.N. and T.B. both had duplicate tapes, and from these and other copies and r^sum^s it was possible to begin the Herculean task of retaping the lost material. A splendid opportunity for his people to work, as Mr. Nyland was quick to point out! They worked with love, with enthusiasm, and in comradeship. Their love for Mr. Nyland and their feeling of interest in the same cause brought the feeling that they belonged together.

10 GURDJIEFF GROUP WORK WITH WILHEM NYLAND

I was present the evening Mr. Nyland announced to his people that he had found a place close to Brewster, the place later to become known as the Barn. It was a ramshackle, pitiful looking, dilapidated place. Walking around the property one sank knee-deep in the mud. Soon, however, people came to work in greater and greater numbers until, from the mud that had been, what was to be the Barn emerged. Concrete floors were laid, projects were planned, and little by little the miracle happened. The kitchen and dining room emerged first, the barn's loft was raised high and the Enneagram arose in it. A magnificent organ was installed for Mr. Nyland to play. The huge loft was lined with narrow tables to be used for dining, which, after eating, could be stacked against the walls to make room for Movements practice. In the rear of the loft, looms were set up. As the workmanship improved, more and more beautiful rugs were made for the Barn. People brought furnaces and space heaters, and the windy corridors became warmer. Flowers grew in the gardens. A hothouse came into existence. The running brook was spanned by a stone bridge erected by the men at the Barn. People who had never done anything with their hands learned to make such things as rugs, jewelry, and ceramics. As they became competent and creative arti­ sans, crafts shops appeared and began to produce for the Barn. Ultimately, and best of all accomplishments, a beautiful, spacious and warm house was built for Mr. Nyland by those whom he had saved—from themselves and from destruction. The life of the community began to hum around Mr. Nyland, who now lived at the Barn all the time. The nearby town, which had been, in effect, a ghost town, was revitalized by the Barn community with the addition of a bakery, a nursery, and a guest house that provided lodging at low cost for Barn visitors. All were manned by people from the community. The town became Nylandtown. Many men from the group left choking city jobs

Part I: Background 11

and relocated here, renovating dilapidated houses, and engaging in manly labors of construction, carpentry, printing, plumbing, and tree work. Eventually, many couples were to be assembled here, living and sharing the Work in a sane and healthy environment under Mr. Nyland's guidance. People travelled from New York and Boston to hear Mr. Nyland play the piano at his house on Saturday nights, after supper and Movements, and then to work on Sunday and listen to Mr. Nyland's talks. The place was always packed. Now indeed, the half-dormant lecturer within Mr. Nyland had fully emerged. He began lecturing actively and was therefore unable to give the personal guidance and intimate attention to our groups that he had given in the early '50s. But till the end he remained the real teacher. No one was turned away without help. No matter who wrote or phoned or from where, all were granted interviews and came on equal terms with all the rest, attending luncheon talks, working inside or outside the house, and learning from the supervisors of various activities. At the Barn one helped and was helped. The Barn belonged to everyone, and everyone belonged to Mr. Nyland. Distinctions one might think necessary were not felt. Mr. Nyland saw to that. He was not only loved—he was respected. It was at this period of his life that Mr. Nyland became adamant regarding the use of drugs. Whoever took them was out as far as he was concerned. I need say no more about this, because I know nothing more about it. It may be that there were those who continued with drug use, but if so, no one knew about it. I am hardly one to discuss it since I know absolutely nothing about drugs. All I know is that Mr. Nyland severely reprimanded those who still used drugs and stated that he could no longer accept responsibility for their conduct. When the group first came to Warwick and Ethelville, the site of the Barn, there had been some incidents with the

12 GURDJIEFF GROUP WORK WITH WILHEM NYLAND

local residents who resented the patched garments of both the men and the women and the men's long hair. Mr. Nyland was very severe in this regard. He made it quite clear from the very beginning that he expected everyone to act correctly. In the event of clashes with the police, irrespective of motive, he would side with the police and would accept no nonsense either from the Barn people or from their visitors. This was final. No one took a chance at being expelled from the Barn and its many activities. Also, Mr. Nyland was always the trusted and beloved guide whom one followed, not only for one's own sake, but for his sake as well. It was evident that it was disturbing to him to forbid anyone from coming to the Barn, and no one wished to see him so chagrined or offended. It was at the Barn on Mr. Nyland's seventy-fifth birthday that he announced the making of tape #1970 (in accord­ ance with the year), and that it was possible for anyone seriously interested in becoming familiar with any aspect of the Work to do so through the superb index and tape system—provided that that person were to make a typewritten r^sum^ of its contents. No easy job, this. But everyone worked at it and profited by it, with the result that now the tapes and written r^sum^s are available to serious students at the Barn. The Barn remains a living, purpose and loving service to Nyland's groups. Life continues continue and there is hope that possession of the Barn people, bought.

throbbing monument of anyone belonging to Mr. there as he wished it to the Barn will become the for whom it was actually

Those who had worked over a long period with Mr. Nyland never abandoned him. They could not do so, because they knew full well that he would give all he had until the very end. He tried in every way possible to bring Mr. Gurdjieff into the hearts of all who crossed his path—

Part I: Background 13

the Mr. Gurdjieff who helped others, who shocked them in order to show the way, and who followed the way of Malavet to counteract the adoration with which he was surrounded. Mr. Nyland emulated Mr. Gurdjieff and never lost an opportunity to bring his example, as a teacher and as a person, to the attention of his people. There were those who had worked in other groups that had long before been disbanded who came to Mr. Nyland for help and advice. He accepted them wholeheartedly and allowed them to work with him. He likewise accepted Spinozians, Swedenborgians, and all others whom he felt to be sincere. Persons who might have been refused admittance to the Foundation or to the houses of other leaders were allowed to visit "the giving old man of the Barn" who received them with an open mind and an understanding heart. Naturally, news of Mr. Nyland's magnum opus spread from person to person and through Mr. Nyland's continual presentation of public lectures on Mr. Gurdjieff's ideas and methods. Mr. Nyland attracted to himself an ever increasing number of university students and professors, many of whom became well-versed in system practices. Of these, some eventually decided to strike out on their own with their own personal interpretation of the Work, thereby completely missing the point. Many of Mr. Nyland's best and most promising students left in this manner, some going so far as to teach the few Movements they had learned. In a sense, it all helped by stimulating interest at the universities, creating at least readers, if not practitioners, of the Fourth Way. Simultaneously with growing interest in the System came admiring interest in Mr. Ouspensky's writings, a fact not too much to Mr. Nyland's liking. He was, perhaps, a little jealous of Ouspensky's close relationship with Mr. Gurd­ jieff, and particularly of the fact that Mr. Gudjieff is reported to have said, upon reading Ouspensky's exposi­ tion of the System, "It is exactly as I said, exactly as if I

14 GURDJIEFF GROUP WORK WITH WILHEM NYLAND

myself had written it." In any event, Mr. Gurdjieff's, Mr. Ouspensky's, and Mr. Nyland's names are now passwords to the miraculous at most universities and to the possibility of development in man of dormant higher faculties. The seeds were sown through Mr. Nyland's untiring efforts and devotion to the Work. Was this perhaps "the very important work" of which Mr. Gudjieff was speaking at his organizational meeting years earlier? Who knows? In any event, in accordance with my understanding of the instructions that Mr. Nyland gave me long before he left the Foundation, I share with others my notes on the tasks he had given his groups. I give them in his memory, the memory of our splendid teacher and friend, in the way in which I understood his instructions. May his instructions help us to remember, and Give O Lord to the soul of Thy servant departed this life rest eternal and make his memory to be eternal. Memory eternal! Amen. Some readers of my book Gurdjieff, His Work on Myself, with Others, for the Work (Samuel Weiser, Inc., New York, 1978) evince surprise at my statement that Mr. Nyland was "my dear teacher of those days." "How can this be," they ask, "if you say in your book that Mr. Ouspensky was your teacher? How many teachers taught you the same thing?" And my answer is, many. The real teaching is not something that each understands his own way, report­ ing it later in his own vocabulary and adding or sub­ tracting to it at will, injecting personal ideas not belonging to the Work. In our system, everyone who receives the teaching must give the same account, whether it is Mr. Nyland or anyone else who gives the account. The words may differ, the insight may be greater or lesser,

Part I: Background 15

but the ideas are the same on whatever aspect of the Work you may choose. It is the Work methodology that has no rival. That is how we know one another and who belongs in our fold. In any event, it was Mr. Nyland who taught me how to use the tools that Mr. Ouspensky gave me in the extraordinary ideas and symbols and the thoughts that he brought into my experience. Mr. Ouspensky departed long before he had time to finish his educational work with us in my group. "Some day you will regret that you did not have enough questions," he would say. "You will want to know, and I will not be here to answer." It is there that Mr. Nyland came in, showing us how to apply the tools in our practical, ordinary, daily lives, in order properly to bring about the change in being we eagerly sought and an understanding of the new way of life we were being invited to follow. I was group secretary in those early days. Mr. Nyland asked me to continue my reporting of meetings as usual, particularly including the task reports. These were most important he told us because they gave him a very clear picture of who was working according to his instructions and who was just going along with the current, fooling himself that he was working when he was not. Mr. Nyland checked my notes and frequently had me rewrite what I had incorrectly reported. This he did because there were members of our group who travelled frequently and he wanted them to be kept abreast of our meetings so that when they returned to the fold they could go on without being briefed. It was a colossal effort because whereas Mr. Ouspensky spoke practically in monosyllables and it was possible to remember what he said verbatim, Mr. Nyland gave very long answers and he had to check the written reports in order to be certain that one had followed him, or interpreted his words correctly.

16 GURDJIEFF GROUP WORK WITH WILHEM NYLAND

The contents of this book are from those notes, and are not mine in the sense that they do not represent my own thoughts or knowledge of the Work ideas. They are how I have assimilated Mr. Nyland's comments and manner of presenting certain Work concepts. He showed us con­ stantly how to work, how to use the knowledge we had received to bring about changes in being through persist­ ent effort. Everyone in the Work teaches the same ideas. The vocabulary is the same. It is only the way of presenting them, the sequence of presentation, that varies. But I never heard any of the group leaders from Group One, nor even any of the Group Two leaders in preparation, give any answer or suggest any effort in self­ observation, participation, or experimentation that did not in the last analysis accord strictly with whatever the others would have said. It is my feeling that this book will supplement the basic Work books. However, persons who must study by themselves until they find a group and a leader, by working assiduously at some of the tasks as explained in the conversations with Mr. Nyland will succeed in developing the correct Work attitude and in maintaining three-centered activity. The other two lines of work, however, should not be neglected. It would be desirable to find four or five friends with whom to work, beginning with weekly readings of All and Everything, which should be read in the manner specified by the author: three times. Efforts to make satisfactory group contacts are recommended.

PART II: MEETINGS

This section presents a few meetings showing the manner in which Mr. Nyland conducted his meetings and aroused in people the wish really to work on themselves. The importance of these meet­ ings is that they show clearly how tasks arose from what each person brought, and how Mr. Nyland developed tasks for persons in such a way as to best suit their work on themselves.

Meeting, June 18, 1952 Mr. Nyland asked everybody to tell him what they had been doing, with regard to our work, during the fourweek recess we had had. Mrs. TB: I had no trouble with working. I do that all the time. My trouble comes from the lack of desire. I do my tasks well—sometimes even more than I had set myself the task for—but there is no desire. Mr. Nyland: The desire is what gives you the energy to do. If there is no desire the task becomes mechanical doing. You must know whether this thing that you do is done for a purpose and if the purpose means anything to you, then there must be the desire to do it because through it you are getting something definite that you desire. Without this desire it is useless to go on mechani­ cally. Do you understand? Mrs. TB: I believe I do. Mr. G: Is it advisable to try to "center" one's observa­ tions? Mr. Nyland: What do you mean by "centering"? Mr. G: I mean, when I observe myself, or what is happening to me, it is useful to try to say: this is in moving center, or this is in emotional or intellectual center and so on. Mr. Nyland: You will remember that the last time we talked about it I told you that the thing to do was JUST 19

20 GURDJIEFF GROUP WORK WITH WILHEM NYLAND

TO OBSERVE. Observe without any desire to change anything or to do anything; just observe what is taking place, nothing more. This is very difficult. But it is the only way to begin. Try doing this. Mr. B: I find it difficult to hold my attention. What can I do to change this? Mr. Nyland: Joseph, you and everybody else. This is everybody's difficulty. It is the same question you had before; it is always the same question. I have told you to observe yourself. Have you observed yourself? Mr. B: I try to observe, I believe that I am observing. I count. I leave my work and try to count in order to avoid other thoughts coming to my mind. Or if I am walking on the street, I try to look at the red light and to keep my attention centered there. But I find it difficult to hold the attention. Mr. Nyland: But while you count—are you observing yourself? Mr. B: I count one to fifty and back, and so on. Mr. Nyland: Joseph, no counting and no lights, nothing like that will help you by itself. You MUST OBSERVE YOURSELF. Try to see yourself as if you were outside yourself. This you must try to do. It is the only thing that will help you. Mr. B: But it is the thing I cannot do, because thoughts come to my mind and I cannot hold the attention. Mr. Nyland: Joseph, I will give you a task. Take periods of your life—from as early as you can remember to ten years—from ten to fifteen years and so on—a definite period at a time. When you are sitting down alone, resting comfortably, try to see yourself as you remember yourself

Part II: Meetings 21

then, and see what you did, where you went, what you said. Whatever you can remember. Then do the same thing with the next period of your life, then with the next, and so on. Do it only for one period—a short while—at a time. Then we will see what happens. This is a task for Joseph only. No one else must do it. Miss VR: I have the same experience as Miss B. No desire. I have been observing my index finger as you said, and I have found out that if I could hold my attention on my index finger, then I could hold it anywhere. It has been a very useful observation. Mr. Nyland: Good. And now, what is the question? Miss VR: The question is, why is it that when I am observant I have no feeling? Mr. Nyland: Could you explain? Miss VR: There is someone about whom I had certain feelings. When I am not observing myself, and I am with this person, I feel something, some feeling; but when I am observant, then I feel nothing at all. I want to know why this is so. Mr. Nyland: Very well. Now, you must try to observe and at the same time to make yourself have, when you are with this person, the same feelings that you would have if you were not observing. You must do this because you want to do it, not because you are not observing; observe and try to feel the way you feel when you are not observing. Do you understand? Miss VR: Yes, thank you. I have another question. Shall I continue observing my index finger? Mr. Nyland: No, no more index. (General laughter.)

22 GURDJIEFF GROUP WORK WITH WILHEM NYLAND

Miss VR: This is not a joke to me. Mr. Nyland: It is not a joke. It is serious. No more index. You have found out now something useful, and you can apply it to other things. The index was just the way to find out this information. Now you have a taste of it. Therefore, as a task, you must try to be aware of your right arm as it moves in space; say to yourself, "Now I am going to be aware of my right arm," and see how it moves, and so on. This is serious work. Very serious work. It is not a joke. Mrs. IBP: This period was very difficult for me. Every­ thing seemed to happen all at once. So, I tried to observe myself, I tried to relax, and I have not wasted any emotional energy. I have not been identified with my problems. But why is it that I am as inefficient in solving them as I am when I am identified with and emotional about them? Mr. Nyland: Because you see them in one dimension only. You see your problems like you would see a picture. But a problem has background; it is formed by many parts. You must get to know its parts. This gives it a second dimension, so to speak. Then, you must know what changes to make in the parts in order to affect the problem. This would give it a third dimension, and so on. But this requires insight. Whether or not you are identified with your problem, it cannot be solved on a single dimension. But you save emotional energy and this is good, this helps you already to see the picture clearly. Mrs. IBP: And how does one develop the insight, the ability to see the parts of the problem? Mr. Nyland: You are observing yourself, you are not identified, you are not wasting emotional energy. This is the beginning. Then you must try to understand the

Part II: Meetings 23

picture, you must try to find out at least some of the parts that fit into it; you must think about their relation to you. This needs practice. But you must continue trying to observe. Self-observation is essential if you want to succeed in this. Mr. S: What is the difference between self-observation and ordinary consciousness? Mr. Nyland: Ordinary consciousness is a function of the intellect. Self-observation comes from the will to observe. Do you understand? Mr. S: I think I do. Miss D: Then there is but little difference between self­ observation and self-remembering? Mr. Nyland: We spoke of it last time. I will repeat. Self­ observation is the "I," or better to say, the many little "I's" that want to become one "I." It works through the head. Self-remembering is “IT"; it works through the body. Self-awareness, is the relationship between "I" and "IT." It is the product of the process. Is it clear? Mrs. G: I should like to ask a question. When I am observant I know that I can do things. It is a feeling that I wish to have, but yet, I cannot observe most of the time. Mr. Nyland: Rhoda, it is good. Continue trying to observe. This is the great difficulty; it is a very serious thing. Thirty thousand failures, and the disappointment that goes with failure, are necessary to balance a single moment of success. It is exactly this accumulation of little disappointments that gives you your suffering, and this suffering will materialize some day into one moment of bliss. That is the ratio: thirty thousand failures to make one success. Continue trying to observe. It is worth it.

24 GURDJIEFF GROUP WORK WITH WILHEM NYLAND

Mr. WG: I do things, general things, and find that it is difficult to observe myself. Then I tried to do something different. I tried to write with my left hand; but before very long I lost myself all over again and I found it just as difficult to observe myself. I wondered, why is this so? Mr. Nyland: Wesley, it is not doing things in a different way that matters. It is self-observation. You are told to do things in a different way, because the newness of it makes you see yourself better and makes you remember what it is that you are trying to do. Writing with the left hand or standing on your head can become just as mechanical as anything else. As I told Rhoda, it is the accumulation of little efforts and little disappointments that counts. Each effort is like a point; and point after point you make a line. This is what counts. Miss NR: I was smoking forty cigarettes a day, so I took for myself the task that you gave last time to Mrs. IBP. I began putting off smoking of the second cigarette, and taking the next; then putting off the second and the third and taking the fourth; and so on. I did not find it difficult. Now I have come down to eight cigarettes a day. But now I find myself steadily increasing the number of cigarettes that I am smoking; today and yesterday, it was not eight that I smoked, but nine and twelve. Why is that? Mr. Nyland: You lost interest in it. You found that it could be done, and you thought you had done it. When you stopped giving up the second or the third or both, you gave up making effort, and soon you were at the beginning, where you had started. But the experiment shows you that it is possible to do it. Only you must have the desire. You must want to do it. You can stop altogether when you want to. But now you must smoke again until you smoke forty cigarettes a day, not because it is happening to you, but because YOU WANT AND INTEND TO SMOKE THEM. You will then be able to see yourself as you were when you were smoking mechan-

Part II: Meetings 25

ically. "This is what I was doing," you will tell yourself. And perhaps then you will find out that you didn't really want to smoke forty cigarettes. Mrs. M: I was reading the chapter on Russia,* and I was impressed with the law of Solioonensius. I wondered how we could use it, instead of misusing it. Mr. Nyland: Yes, it is the sad truth. We waste what could be useful to us. We are all sheep. We shall all be shorn and slaughtered. The idea appeals differently to everyone, but it is useful to think about it. We must think of it because then we will remember, and we will remember to work, because it is the only way through which we may find some escape. The meeting came to a close. Mrs. K announced that she was leaving for California and did not expect to return. Mrs. CB said she would be leaving town on the 21st. The others have vacations at various times. Mr. Nyland said he thought it useful to have a vacation but added that for the time being we would meet on Tuesday of next week and then we could decide about the summer plans for the group. Before the meeting began I told Mr. Nyland when I first came in, that I was happy to see him, as indeed I was. His answer was interesting: "You must pay for it," he said, then explaining that I should know better than to make idle statements, as the only reason I would have to be glad to see him was if I had really worked. He said that in a sense, this is payment. An interesting thought! Actually, if one receives one should use the gift, put it to work, so to say. Then one should be happy to see the giver because in that case what he has given has produced and one is ready to receive more. *G.l. Gurdjieff, All and Everything, Chap. 34.

26 GURDJIEFF GROUP WORK WITH WILHEM NYLAND

Meeting, June 24, 1952 When I came into the room Mr. Nyland was talking to Mrs TB. I did not hear the beginning of the conversation. As I sat down Mrs. TB was asking: Mrs. TB: And how do I know how to change the tasks that I give the people in my group? Mr. Nyland: This you must know yourself. Whatever you can do, whatever you know, this you can give them. But you must be able to do yourself what you advise them to do. You must do it in humility, not because you know so much or because you are so far ahead of them, but because it is an opportunity for you to work and to learn and to help them. Mrs. IBP: Do you mean that change results in knowl­ edge? Mr. Nyland: Change brings new knowledge. It is possi­ ble to see yourself in different circumstances, to see things from different angles. But this change of which we spoke requires knowledge; you change when you know when to change and how to change and what to change. After a short pause, turning to Miss NR: And how are the cigarettes coming? Miss NR: They are coming very well. I started from forty that I was smoking and came down all the way to three; everyday I would set myself so many cigarettes to smoke. Why, it was easy. Today for example I said I would smoke five cigarettes but have only had my second. Mr. Nyland: Then you must smoke your other three cigarettes. Whatever you set yourself to do you must do. If you say you will smoke ten cigarettes and find before going to bed that you have smoked but one, then you must smoke one after another until you have actually

Part II: Meetings 27

smoked your ten. This is very important. You must do what you set out to do. And the same is true in everything. These things are not to be taken lightly. Miss VR: Then it means that if one were able to do this it wouldn't matter whether one were smoking cigarettes or doing something else. Mr. Nyland: That is right. Miss VR: I begin to see that. Mr. Nyland: Certainly it makes no difference. These are tools, merely tools that are given to you but you must put them to work and apply them to yourself. It is the only way to find out how to use them and whether they are useful. Mrs. CB: I wish to know whether there are really two kinds of mentation? Mr. Nyland: Carla, no intellectual questions, please. Mrs. CB: Why I cannot understand that you always think I am not sincere. I wouldn't want to come if I were not interested. I really want to know, that is why I ask. It is a desire to know, why do you say it is intellectual? I do not agree with you. Mr. Nyland: Very well then. It is not intellectual for you. But I say it is intellectual. However for yourself you don't have to accept it just because I say it. If you do not agree with me it means you don't understand what I am saying to you and then, for you, what I say need not bother you. Mrs. CB: I still must insist that it is not intellectual... Mrs. TB: I have the same case with a person in my group. Mr. Nyland, don't you think that by observation of

28 GURDJIEFF GROUP WORK WITH WILHEM NYLAND

the mind, of the spot that is involved, it would be possible for them to see what you mean better? Mr. Nyland: But it is exactly that spot which they cannot see. Mrs. TB: Oh, I understand. Mr. B: I did the exercise, or task, that you gave me to do last week. I tried to see epochs from my life; I was surprised that it was not difficult at all. I could see myself very well, I could even feel what I felt in some instances. But then I began each time to talk to myself and to see and tell myself what I should have done, or why this took place and so on. Is this the object of the exercise? Mr. Nyland: No, that is not the purpose. The purpose is for you to try to observe, just observe, without any comments. This is the difficulty, to observe without making any comments, without having any wish to change yourself. Mrs. J: I have been trying to observe myself without being critical but sometimes I become confused. For instance, at my work people are always telling me that I have a sour look; perhaps it is true because I feel that way. But I was driving along the East End Drive the other day and I was feeling very well, yet I suddenly caught myself thinking that I had the same look, the same sour one, on my face. But I did not feel sour. How do you explain this? Mr. Nyland: I don't explain it. But now I advise you when you are at the office and are not feeling sour at all, to try to put on your face that sour look that you have felt; make it as sour as you can. That is, you will look very sour but inside yourself you will be feeling fine. Try this, can you do it? Mrs. J: I believe I can but I don't see any reason for it.

Part II: Meetings 29

Mr. Nyland: It helps you to break associations. It helps you to understand yourself better. Your face is never altogether in repose, whether your thoughts are pleasant or otherwise it is always making grimaces. Get to know it better. It can be useful. Mrs. IBP: Pleasant or unpleasant? I don't see anyone would make grimaces when feelings are pleasant?

why

Mr. Nyland: Because we are like that. Whatever thought crosses the mind our face moves. We have no control over it. But we must learn to know our grimaces and this will help us a great deal. Mrs. IBP: Well, I too have been trying to observe myself objectively. I have already caught myself a few times reacting in a certain way, objectionable to me. I have not felt any desire to change. I have not thought anything about it. I just took note and tried to observe impartially. However a day or so ago I was faced by the same conditions that prompted the reaction in question. I was about to respond as usual when I remembered what had been observed before and I stopped short. I did not react as usual. Why was that, considering that I had not felt the desire to change or anything? Mr. Nyland: That is how it is. You reach the saturation point. And when you reach that point, if you have really been working, you have freedom of choice. You can do or not do. React as usual or not. For an instant you have the choice. It depends at that instant on you which way you will continue to go. You must try to continue to observe in this manner. Mrs. G: I should like to know... Here I went to sleep. I actually dozed for a while and when I awoke Mr. B was speaking; I heard him say something about how useful it would be for us to do physical work

30 GURDJIEFF GROUP WORK WITH WILHEM NYLAND

together like we did at Amagansett. That brought me back at once because I too am interested in the subject; moreover, I had rested already I suppose. Mr. Nyland: Well, there are places. You have Mendham which is there for that purpose and you all can go if you wish; I have no objections. Mrs. IBP: Mr. B had brought this up before, when you went away for two weeks in the spring. I think it would be a very good idea. Mr. Nyland: Well, if you two feel that way and are sufficiently interested to bring it to pass, try to see what you can do. You can all get together and see how well you can organize such a thing. Mrs. IBP: But such a thing in order to be useful must be organized by a person at least a little more advanced than the rest. I don't see any of us here taking orders from any of the rest. Nor wishing to give them for that matter. It wouldn't lead us anywhere. You should have seen us go at one another those two times you had us hold meetings without yourself. (General laughter.) Mr. Nyland: Good. That was very helpful. But organiz­ ing work calls for a great deal more than you all think. Ilonka and I have discussed it and have concluded that it is too much. We have our lives to lead also. For instance, I am a husband and a father. It is my duty to remember this. Mr. S: I am somewhat averse to physical work. There­ fore I agree with you that the idea is not a good one. Mr. Nyland: The idea is good but cannot be carried into effect unless you yourselves do something about it.

Part II: Meetings 31

Mrs. IBP: The idea is good because as I understand it three lines of work are necessary in order to be able to do this work. We do not do the third line of work... Mrs. CB: That was my thought also; it is what I thought about when I brought up the question. Mr. Nyland: The idea is good as I said. But the important thing is work on oneself. Without this no other kind of work will get you anywhere. First of all you must work, you must do your tasks, you must try to be. This is what is important. We can do without the rest. Mrs. CB: That is what I have always thought. Mr. Nyland: With regard to having our own place, however, I want to say this. You all know that this place where we meet is Ilonka's studio. She and her people need it. We must try to get our own place, perhaps somewhere in the "Village," and when we have it we will have to keep it clean and so on. This will give occasion to work together to those who want it. And we really must have our place. It is very important. Perhaps we can all think about it during the next four weeks.

Fragmentary Notes from Meeting, July 22, 1952 Mr. Nyland: Well, here we are. Ten persons. No, twelve. It is fine, particularly on a night like this; your having come shows your interest. I hope that you will have questions based on your experiences... Mrs. H: Question mark! You mean material. Otherwise it may not be clear to them. What material do they have from their observations...

32 GURDJIEFF GROUP WORK WITH WILHEM NYLAND

Mr. Nyland: It does not matter Annette. Observations, or experiences, will translate themselves into questions. It has to be so. It is these questions that give the material. It is these questions that I expect from you all. After all, you have been working for some time—reading, sensing, trying to observe, feeling, doing various tasks, and so on. All this work, if you have done it, must undoubtedly have shown you changes in yourself. It must have made you think and find out relations existing between the work and yourselves that you had not seen before. And if you have not been able to see anything, you have not been able to work on yourselves as you would wish then certainly the question ought to be—how does one work? what can one do? when I act in this way I observe this result—how does it happen? This is the only way you have to show me that you have been working. Because otherwise, if you just come here and listen and then think about it every now and then but do not work, do not try to do something about what you know and have heard—then it is no good. Nothing will come out of it. Nothing at all. It will be just like reading an ordinary book, any novel, or report, which you just read to pass the time taking nothing from it for yourselves. But there are books of another kind, you read Gurdjieff, Ouspensky, Walker, Nicoll, the Gita—such books. From these books you take something that you can apply to your daily living; you take something into your experience. Then the book becomes alive for you; it has meaning. The parts that you apply to your daily living help you to see many other things. It is the same with our work here. You must apply what you hear. Then you will see many things about yourselves, about your relations with others, about life, and so on. This is the kind of work that I expect from you. And now, on work of this kind, you may ask questions. Mrs. IBP: Mr. Nyland...

Part II: Meetings 33

Mr. WG: Wim... Mr. Nyland: Who was first? I think it was Mrs. IBP. Your turn, Mrs. IBP. Mrs IBP: During these weeks I worked on "experi­ mentation." But I observed that the result of my experi­ ments was not always what I had anticipated. So, I concluded that perhaps I do not know what "experi­ mentation" really means. Mr. Nyland: Experimentation does not imply foreknowl­ edge of the results. The scientist who experiments is primarily interested in finding out what the result will be. First he has thought the problem out, from A to Z, and theorized on what the probable outcome of his experi­ ment will be. But he is not surprised or disappointed if the outcome is other than he had expected. He just takes note of it, marshalls his facts together and starts anew. When you "experiment" you have to do the same. You wish to see how you will act under certain conditions. You try to create the conditions in order to observe, to get to know yourself. But you cannot be completely certain of how you will react at a given moment, because other elements may enter to change the combination. Then you have to change also. But the important part FOR YOU, is the fact that you thought of this, that you created a condition, that you knew what you wished to do at a given moment, and first of all, that you had occasion to see yourself "doing" it when the time came. It does not really matter whether you did as you expected to do or not. The important thing is that you observed yourself doing, whatever you did. This gives you knowledge. It gives you knowledge of yourself, of your relations with others, of the combinations that may arise to alter conditions. It is this knowledge that is important and perhaps it is just as well that your "experiments" are not always successful

34 GURDJIEFF GROUP WORK WITH WILHEM NYLAND

because otherwise you might become too sure of yourself, you might think, "I know"and this would be undesirable. But in all your experiments you must always be very careful not to involve any other person unless you know from A to Z exactly what the results will be; or unless the person has asked, or has consented, to be involved in them. This is a moral obligation. You must not involve anyone except yourself, as you do not have the right to change conditions for another without the person affect­ ed having at least knowledge about it. Your experiments must concern you alone. This is always the best way, nothing else. And when others are involved, then they must be persons whom you know very, very well. And this brings us again to the question of types. As a type, you are limited to your type; you cannot reason as another type would reason. Therefore, you cannot enter into that other type and know beforehand the combinations that will arise from the actions or reactions of that person. When you know types, then you will be able to place yourself in the shoes of the others and to think, not according to your type, but according to their type. But this is a long ways off. You must remember that. Mrs. IBP: I understand. In fact, the result of my experiments was different than I had anticipated as a result of changes that occurred through the manner in which other persons acted or reacted when the conditions changed. Mr. Nyland: That is so. For that reason you must learn to take all probable results into consideration. You must think and try to know all the things that may possibly happen, from A to Z. It is the only way. Otherwise you do not have the right to experiment if the experiments involve other persons. But for your own self it is different; you can do your experiments. You are what matters in this case but you must remember to see yourself acting and you must know whether you are

Part II: Meetings 35

doing what you set out to do or not, and why. You must see yourself and your relationship to others, and you must know what happened to you when the situation took place. This is important. Mr. WG: Wim, I have observed in myself, that the splitting of attention is much easier than the focusing of attention. I do not understand why this is so. Mr. Nyland: Wesley, what do you mean by "the splitting of attention"? Mr. WG: Well, for instance. I am reading to others. While I do this I can hear my voice also; I can be aware that the others are there, I can feel other parts of my body, feel the pulsation of my blood, do sensing of my hand, or my leg, and so on. This is what I mean. Is that splitting of attention? Mr. Nyland: No, it is being aware of these various things. Splitting of attention is something else. There is a difference. Splitting of attention requires a great deal of knowledge, a great deal of effort, much practice. It is calculus. Equations of the fifth and sixth class. That is why I seldom refer to it. But what you are speaking about is of awareness, only you have not yet realized that it has three dimensions, the same as time. Remember? We spoke about it many times. Take for instance the moment when you make an observation. You constate. This is one moment. Many such constatations or observations make a line; so, many observations of yourself reading, talking, moving, sen­ sing, and so on, each one of them being a point in your consciousness, make a line. The plane is made when you become conscious of your relations to others; you know how they look, you know your relation to one another, and so on. The solid is when you are aware of your line of growth. This is the way in which to think about it.

36 GURDJIEFF GROUP WORK WITH WILHEM NYLAND

But to do this requires knowledge. There are two kinds of knowledge. Gossipy knowledge: ordinary information, like about a woman who just had her fifteenth child, or the Chicago convention news, and so on. This is ordinary knowledge that you can use at the proper time with great ease and leaves you nothing. But there is another kind of knowledge. Knowledge of oneself, of the meaning of what one does, of one's thoughts, of one's type, of others, of one's relations to them. This is something of a very different kind. And this is the kind of knowledge that we want, because it is the kind of knowledge that makes it possible for us to be and makes it possible for us to do. Mr. WG: Then what is the feeling I have had while reading, that I knew what I was doing, that I was hearing my voice and knew that everyone was there, and felt a presence, of a sort? Mr. Nyland: Yes, Wesley, you want to hear that it was consciousness, but it could have been memory. Mr. WG: Wim, I see what you mean. It could be memory. Mr. Nyland: Yes, Wesley. But all these efforts count. It all works by accumulation. Don't you remember that we spoke about the planet Mars and about the canals that have been made to water the arid parts? We spoke then of the back and the front of the head and said that all these efforts that we do, make the "bridge" that we need in order to fill the gap in our consciousness. It is for this that we must work. It is about this that we must think. Continue to make efforts in this sense, continue to read without feeling that you are important or the center of attraction, but listen to your voice and observe. You don't have to think about the rest. It will come. But you cannot force it. Miss VR: Mr. Nyland, I have been doing the exercise that you gave me as a task. I have been observing my

Part II: Meetings 37

thumb; then I tried to change to other because I become very impatient, it seems not getting anywhere. I realize that this but nevertheless, that is the way I feel. things up.

parts of myself to me that I am is wrong in me, I want to hurry

Mr. Nyland: And what is your reason for wanting to speed things up? Miss VR: I don't know myself. It is something in me. I have been working with these ideas over a long period of time and it seems to me, I mean that sometimes I feel, that I should have made more progress. Then I feel worried and feel the need for haste. I don't know. But that is how it is. Mr. Nyland: You feel that time is short and that you must work. It is the right feeling. But you must ask yourself: why do I want to speed things up? It may be due to vanity, or pride, or jealousy, or many other things. You have to find out because this is the way with you. You want everything quickly, you want everything big. Per­ haps you feel it would make you feel more secure, more satisfied with yourself. But you see, you must know for yourself that you are as good as anyone else and—IF YOU WORK ON YOURSELF—better than those who do not work on themselves. You don't have to try to impress or surpass anyone, you don't have to draw attention to yourself. This happens to you because you do not really know what it is that you wish; so, if you reached the greatest possible place in this Work you wouldn't know what to do when you got there and it would be a waste of time. It is like going on a journey. And you feel that because you have gone a long way on road 1 and then returned to the starting point when you found out that it did not lead you to your destination and then gone a still longer way on road 2 and returned, you are now entitled to find yourself

38 GURDJIEFF GROUP WORK WITH WILHEM NYLAND

approaching the end of road 3. But think a little and you will see how impossible it is. The long way you walked on road 1 and the long way you walked on road 2 do not give you any mileage on road 3. You have to start on road 3 from the very beginning. Surely you can understand that. And if you find that road 3 is your road, then you will know that your journeys along roads 1 and 2 were not totally lost after all, because you acquired certain experi­ ence and learned many things that can be helpful to you now, especially to know that this is your road. But at the moment when you are facing the three roads you have a certain amount of choice. You can decide on the road that you will follow. But the actual mileage covered by you in walking along previous roads will not entitle you to find yourself all of a sudden right at the middle, or approach­ ing the end of any other road. You have to start from the very beginning. Is that clear to you? Miss VR: Yes, it is clear to me. And I want to know whether I should continue to observe my thumb. Mr. Nyland: Yes. I have given you this very limited task in a very limited field of observation for a very definite purpose. This is work for you to do. You all have a great wide field for observations. My goodness, you have a body, you can sense now a finger, or a toe, now a leg, an arm, part of an arm, the tip of your nose, and so on—there is no end to it. You must use your ingenuity. But as for you, Miss VR, I have specified a small task because this is what is necessary for you at the moment. Mrs. G: Wim, I have been trying to observe myself while I do my sensing exercises. But I am bothered because I find that when I am observing myself, others are included in my observation without my having intended to include them. It is the lack of intention that bothers me. Mr. Nyland: Rhoda, do not let it worry you. Your observation is growing. It grows like a child. The desire to

Part II: Meetings 39

grow is in your heart; you make efforts, your observation grows. But you cannot specify in advance how it will grow, the ways that it will follow. Just like a child; he wishes to grow, it is all that he knows. But he does not know how he will grow. Just continue to observe and in this case the “intention" is not essential. The “intention" to include others, that is. The important thing is to observe. Remember that the tendency is for things to expand in proportion as you grow. There are more experiences, there is more work to do. Do you under­ stand? Mrs. G: I believe I do. It is true. More people seem to have come into my experience now. Mr. S: I have something to say regarding observation. It is not a question. Just a statement. But you can make a question out of it if you like. Mr. Nyland: Yes, Arthur? Mr. S: I have observed that I notice people as a result of this work. I had not anticipated this result. But now I see people. Mr. Nyland: It is right, Arthur. Your observation grows. It is just like I have told Rhoda just now. When you start, you do not know the direction that it will follow. This is why we must be aware, or try to be aware of what we are doing, and we must know our aim. The aim is very important. You must think about that. Miss NR: I have a question. During these four weeks I have become like a deflated balloon. I seem to have lost interest in everything. I don't know what to do. What is this? Mr. Nyland: You have lost interest in the ideas of which we speak, you have lost interest in reading the book?

40 GURDJIEFF GROUP WORK WITH WILHEM NYLAND

Miss NR: No, I have not lost interest in the ideas. But I seem to be tired or something, and do not wish to think about anything. I read the book but there is no enthu­ siasm. That is how I feel. Mr. Nyland: And what have you done about the ciga­ rettes? Miss NR: I have found no difficulty in it. I kept on with my task and now I think I can smoke or not. This has not been hard. Mr. Nyland: Very good. So, you are a little tired and you need a change. Do you find anything that you would like to take on as a task among the various tasks that I have given the others? Miss NR: Well, I don't know. In giving up the cigarette habit, in fighting against it, I have acquired another habit of eating candy. Perhaps I should go on a diet. (General laughter.) Mr. Nyland: Oh, no, not that. Let us leave diets out of this. A self-imposed task in this case would be more desirable, but if you cannot think of any I shall give you one: for the next four weeks, until we meet again, you must try to change your voice—but only when you talk to one or two persons, persons you know very well. The first week you will speak in a higher tone of voice; the second week in a lower tone of voice; the third week very slowly, the fourth week very fast. And all the time you must try to hear your own voice while you do this exercise, and you must observe what takes place. Then you will tell us about it. Mr. G: When a person knows in advance that a situation will arise in which he has the choice to be or not to be

Part II: Meetings 41

involved, what is the thing to do, should he become involved in it or not? Mr. Nyland: If it is a situation that may cause you to lose a great deal of emotional energy without any profit, then I would say stay out of it. That is, provided that you have the choice to stay out of it. Going into situations that may cause a great deal of emotional strain, calls for a little more knowledge of ourselves than we have yet. It is better to stay out of it, if we have the choice, of course. Otherwise, if you find yourself involved, try to save energy by doing your best to observe. Observe what takes place; observe what you do; just observe. Of course, you can also participate if you wish to do so. But it requires a great deal of energy. It can be done. But it requires understanding. It requires knowledge. However, it is possible to charge one's atmosphere with that which one needs to carry into such a situation. At the same time one has to be careful what one injects into one's atmosphere because you will attract things to you. You see, nothing, but absolutely nothing at all, can come to a person or be attracted by a person, unless it has been first in his or in her atmosphere. The atmosphere is plainly visible to the human eye at a great distance. It is very important to remember this. Miss M: Something funny happened to me. I was intent in observation of negative emotion proceeding in myself, when I was immensely shocked by hearing the person with whom I was, inform me that I looked "superior," that I was trying to look high hat. This was the farthest thing from me. It was a terrific shock. Mr. Nyland: The purpose of this work is to loosen the connections between the centers, to make them work independently of one another. For instance, when one sleeps something happens, and there is a loosening whereby each center works separately from the others. This we are trying to do in our waking life.

42 GURDJIEFF GROUP WORK WITH WILHEM NYLAND

So, if another person can see that you are trying to work on yourself, there is something wrong with your work. There is no reason, no reason at all why your face should take any different expression, or look cross, or pensive, or anything, You alone must know what you are doing. You must not advertise it. You must try to have a poker face. This is very useful. It is useful for everyone. Miss M: Thank you. It has been very useful. I am glad that the mirror was held to me for me to see myself in a moment of unguardedness for the other person. Mr. Nyland: Very well, then. I think that we have now enough work to last us for the coming four weeks. I hope to see all of you then. Joseph, I expect to hear from you next time. And Carla, from you also.

Meeting, October 28, 1952 Miss D: I have been reading in Ouspensky that it is possible for man to work and become a "wrong" number 5. Will you explain to me what this means? Mr. Nyland: Why are you interested in man number 5? This is very far away. In order to understand man number 5 a person must be man number 4 and to be number 4 he must first be man 1, 2 and 3. Number 5 is so far away that for the moment you need not concern yourself with him, and there is very little danger of your having to worry about doing the wrong work. We will come to this sometime, but not now. Mrs. IBP: I understood you to say sometime ago that nothing manifested in our ordinary life unless it had been present first in our atmosphere. Now then, I see many things in my experience that I do not believe I have put into my atmosphere; the question is, how are things thus

Part II: Meetings 43

placed in the atmosphere, is it through thought or through emotions? Mr. Nyland: It is first necessary to know what do you understand by atmosphere. Mrs. IBP: I can't say that I know exactly. As I understand it, one has or is surrounded by a sort of circle made by one's vibrations which is around eighteen inches wide... Mr. Nyland: Did I say eighteen inches? Mrs. IBP: No, not you. I mean it is said according to these ideas. I heard it at the Movements. Mr. Nyland: Well, it could be seventeen and a half inches or less... Mrs. IBP: Yes, seventeen, fourteen, anything. So, this circle that surrounds one, formed by one's vibrations, forms one's atmosphere. This is what I understand. Mr. Nyland: Yes. As you know, every object—all matter —emits vibrations. These vibrations are of different quality, they have a different reach, different wave­ lengths so to speak. You are familiar with the electro­ magnetic keyboard. These emissions of vibrations are invisible although some persons can see them, not with the eyes or feeling them, but by some other means. And they can be felt. Like X rays. These vibrations from each person reach, let us say seventeen and a half inches, or more, that is unimportant; but a moment comes when they fade and merge or disperse into other vibrations that come from without and lose their strength. A person is both a receiving and a broadcasting station. But because he is not conscious, these things just happen to man and he can not do anything about it, yet he emits vibrations of a definite order and is open to vibrations of the same order. Remember that. All matter emits vibrations. It is a

44 GURDJIEFF GROUP WORK WITH WILHEM NYLAND

conglomeration of energy. It can be seen in the results. Do you understand? Mrs. IBP: Yes, thank you. I think so. Mr. Nyland: I should like to hear from those people who are seldom if ever heard. Mr. B. Mr. B: I was thinking that I cannot agree with a statement I read in the book according to which the Earth will always continue to be. I did not understand this because everything has to disintegrate, like the body. Mr. Nyland: How does the body disintegrate? Mr. B: Well, it dies... Mr. Nyland: Yes, it rots. Some parts turn into little maggots, thousands of little lives, other kinds of life. Part of it becomes gas, gases, other elements. The point is that there is a transformation. Change. But no loss, only dispersion. It is the second law of thermodynamics. The change can be in the direction of complete disorganization or in the direction of partial organization. This is the direction of the formation of the Kesdjean body. The return direction, towards the Sun Absolute. This is the way in which we avoid total destruction. It is a general problem. This brings us to the question of Time but I don't want to talk about Time now. And it shows you why the Sun Absolute (call it God, the Devil, Good and Evil, or whatever you wish to call it) in order to avoid being swallowed by the Merciless Heropass had to create another world. Deuterocosmos; and this Cosmos faced the same problem and created another world, and in the same manner successively. Each world creates another to avoid total destruction. That is why we, as man, wish to create a Kesdjean body to go in the direction of the Sun Absolute. Is that clear to you? We lose the body but create Kesdjean.

Part II: Meetings 45

Mr. B: Yes, I follow you. Mrs. IBP: But, Mr. Nyland, I cannot reconcile this whole idea with the concept of Recurrence. I understand, that in Recurrence, everything is always. All is there from beginning to end. Then, how is it that at death we lose the body, Kesdjean forms, and evidently something new starts? I do not understand. Ought not everything to continue as is? Mr. Nyland: Everything is from birth to death. All is there, you are right. The moment of your birth is there only you see a section at a time. Yet, this idea of Kesdjean, it is that it looks from outside into what is happening here and it sees the complete circle. That is, like looking from a distance at a given circle, which is your life, but as the distance increases, the circle becomes smaller until it becomes a point so that this life of yours, is a point for Kesdjean. Kesdjean sees it as a point, sees this life, and lives, as points. This requires thought. Mrs. IBP: Yes. I think I understand the relationship of the two ideas. I will think about it. Mr. Nyland: And now please, let us have something practical. We have had enough philosophy. Miss NR: Mr. Nyland, I have been observing my finger and I had a strange experience, in observing my index, as I typewrite, it seems to me that I hear two tunes, two different tunes. Mr. Nyland: You are playing the piano? Miss NR: No, just observing my index. But it gives me the impression that I hear, definitely hear two different sounds...and I wondered whether this was objective observation?

46 GURDJIEFF GROUP WORK WITH WILHEM NYLAND

Mr. Nyland: No, Miss NR, it is very good imagination. You were given a definite task. It was to observe your index finger. That is all that you have to do. If you hear sounds, music, humming, or anything else, it shows that you are lost in your imagination. Continue to observe and now you have a good rule to know when you have lost track of yourself: as soon as you begin to hear, to smell or to see things. It means that your imagination is active and there is nothing of you left. Mrs. F: Do you mean the finger must be felt or sensed? Mr. Nyland: This was a special task given to Miss NR. It was not meant for anyone else. In her particular case it has a certain value but it is of no use at the moment to anyone else. Mrs. G: I was very successful this last week in practicing my task. It was possible to divide my time into three parts as you told me to do, and I found it very useful. As usual it showed me how little one is and how little I can do. Mr. Nyland: How did you divide your time? Mrs. G: Well, a whole day; twenty-four hours. Mr. Nyland: Rhoda, this is not possible. That is too much. It is very good that you have found out how little you can do. It is true of all of us. The exercise is very useful but you must not try to chew so much at one time. Make smaller divisions. You want to divide into three parts mechanical, conscious and so on. Very well, take ten minutes, or five minutes, give all your attention to it and find out what part of this time you were really there, how long you were actually conscious. Do this throughout the day, the week, and at the end of the time, see your film, look back and find out how many minutes in all you were really there. Was it four hours out of the twenty-four? Or four minutes? This is the way to work, the way to check

Part II: Meetings 47

on yourself. It is the accumulation that counts, the constant effort, as I told Carla regarding her rug. (Before the question period started, Carla had commented on the rug and asked whether it was new, adding that it was very attractive and took her thoughts away from the conversation. Mr. Nyland then said that he would have to send the rug away but Carla answered that on the contrary, it served a good purpose because she used it to fight against the attraction that it exercised on her attention; whereupon Mr. Nyland said that this was very well and told Carla to continue to do this and to remember where she was and why she was here every time she found herself noticing the rug. "At the end of the meeting," he added, "you will look back and ask yourself how many times you succeeded in doing this and you will know to what extent you did or did not try to be conscious when looking at the rug.") Miss VA: Mr. Nyland, 1 have been observing my thumb very thoroughly this week. I have finally succeeded and I have observed my thumb completely and it has given a great deal to me. Mr. Nyland: That is good. And what do you want now? Miss VA: Now I want to do something else, different. (General laughter.) Mr. Nyland: Very well then. Now you must have a taste of what it means to work as you have worked. You know your limitations. You know what to do. Now you can extend it and make some changes this week, always remembering the way in which you worked with your thumb. For instance, you can observe the movements of your hand now, and then try to move it differently. Not opposite. Differently. In other words, if you turn your hand to the right, away from you, don't start trying to

48 GURDJIEFF GROUP WORK WITH WILHEM NYLAND

turn it to the left, towards you. Make a different movement; remember, not the opposite movement, but a different one. Do you think you can do this? Miss VA: Oh, yes, thank you. I will try. Mr. Nyland: And now I shall read Dorothy's letter to you [addressing Hellen and Pablo]. Dorothy is a member of this group, you may remember her. She had to leave for California and is now away from everybody. I gave them all the task to write to her. And now she has written to me about it. She is very sincere. We must think about it because we are all of us in the same situation that she finds herself. The letter was read and then we began to prepare to eat our supper and the meeting came to an end.

Meeting, January 6, 1953 Dear Rhoda and Wesley: Our vacation came to an end last night and we all met again, happy to be together and take up our work where we left it, sorry to know that you would not be with us. Mr. Nyland asked us at the end of the meeting whether we would like to write to you two and tell you what we had been speaking about. Many volunteered and I was asked to do it. And so, I shall start by telling you that Mrs. TB said when she arrived that Arthur has lost his sight and that these are difficult times through which they are both going. Mr. Nyland said: "It will require special effort on your part, especially, Teddy, because you will have to struggle

Part II: Meetings 49

against the resentment of having to see his suffering without being able to help it, will ask yourself why did this have to be, will have to make many new adjustments in living..." "But I don't think of it in terms of resentment" said Mrs. TB. "And he is wonderful about it." "Of course not, not yet," answered Mr. Nyland. "But this is the beginning. You will have to make many changes. And you cannot help him but you must have him before your eyes at all times. It is this that makes the experience different for you than it is for him. It is like when one sees a person dying. It is not the one who dies that is feeling the anguish and the sorrow that you feel, witnessing. It is this difference in feeling that I am speaking about. And this gives you an opportunity, which you must use, to work. The work will help you and by using the oppor­ tunity you can do a great deal." "Without the work I do not know what we should have done," went on Mrs. TB. "But Arthur has been really grand about it; and we are trying to live just the same without making changes, we read together that is, I read to him and I find it enjoyable. It is fortunate that there is companionship between us." Mrs. TB spoke with quiet conviction and then added: "Nevertheless, one cannot help wondering why did this have to be." "Certainly one cannot help wondering," said Mr. Nyland, "in the same manner that one wonders when a father is taken from his young children by death. One wonders why these things have to be. It is natural. Because one does not see the pattern. There is a pattern but we cannot see it. But we must make the effort to understand, the effort to think about life and its meaning, why we think we are here, what we have to do—in other words, we must work."

50 GURDJIEFF GROUP WORK WITH WILHEM NYLAND

Many of the others arrived at this moment and there was a lull in the conversation until they settled themselves. Then Mr. Nyland asked us all: "Did we meet last Monday?" And some started to explain that there had been a vacation, while quite a few exclaimed almost jubilantly that we had met, and Mr. G was hesitant to express himself, so Mr. Nyland addressed him asking: "Were you at the meeting on Monday?" "The truth is that I forgot about it," he answered. "And then I remembered. It surprised me because I always think of the meeting on Mondays." "How long were you in remembering?" asked Mr. Nyland. "Oh, about half an hour or more," said Mr. G. "Very well then," said Mr. Nyland, "it means that you were only one hour late." Then he went on: "It is very useful to think about these tasks. You have to live in the world and you must carry the work with you into your daily living. Work of which you think when you are here only is not work that has become ingrained in you. The work must not be forgotten, it has to become part of our lives. This is why we must know our aim. This was my reason for giving you this particular task and you do not have to tell me the details of your work but I hope you were able to see the pattern you were trying to find, that you have found out how you fit into it, where you are, what it is like for you. And then you must do something about it." "As far as I am concerned," said Mrs. IBP, "I tried to think as you suggested, Mr. Nyland, of the motives that had brought me to this work, to wonder whether it had led me

Part II: Meetings 51

anywhere, and so on. Strangely enough I came to see in this manner that what brought me to the work was my 'chief suffering.' I never knew I had a 'chief suffering' before. I always thought about it but could never find anything that caused me suffering or that held a special position in this respect for me. But this time I understood the meaning of it. For myself I saw and I saw my 'chief suffering.' But the question is that really I don't know what to do about it." "Very good. Now that you know, you don't have to give me particulars, but you know and you can observe. This is your beginning, observation without criticism." Mr. Ny­ land was final about this. "But, Mr. Nyland," went on Mrs. IBP, "this is where my problem lies. I know I must observe. And I have been observing but it gets me nowhere. I don't mind telling you where I have seen this. It is at home. My mother and my maid love me most unreasonably, my word is law for them. I hear them starting an argument about the most trivial things; I say to myself I shall take no part in it. And then before I know it I am fully in the whole thing; it is not until I am in it that I find myself and then I feel remorse, I feel that I can do nothing since I must not take part in these arguments and yet I do. I have observed until the entire pattern is clear to me. It was in finding the pattern which I can see as clearly as anything, that I found this was my 'chief suffering.' That is why it is so difficult to give it up." "You think you have observed," he answered. "But the difficulty is in observing as you must observe. There is criticism of your action in your observation and as long as there is the desire to change a situation there is no observation that is impartial—objective. It takes time and it needs effort. Now you know what makes you and you have found the pattern. You must get to know it perfectly. To do that you must observe yourself without

52 GURDJIEFF GROUP WORK WITH WILHEM NYLAND

any intention of changing, without any criticism what­ soever. But there is something else that you must do with it. You must try to control this situation, that is, to make it last longer or become shorter, to bring it about at will. In other words, you must try to start arguments yourself without becoming emotionally involved in them; you must try to enter into arguments to make them shorter or to prolong them. All this you must learn to do at will. And when you learn to do it you will be free. It won't take you too long. But you must remember to observe impartially. That is the beginning." "Mr. Nyland," said Miss VR, "it has been brought to my attention that I have a fault which interferes with my work—at business. And I think that the same thing can be said to apply to my work—this work—also. I am lacka­ daisical in the manner in which I do things; this is because 1 daydream. This has always been my trouble, I indulge myself in daydreaming." "And what is the question?" asked Mr. Nyland. "The question is, what can be done about it," said Miss VR. To which Mr. Nyland replied: "It is always the same question. I have answered you ten times already. It is a question of finding where you lose yourself. That is why I have given you little tasks such as observing your thumb. You have to start from the beginning and you have to work and then you will see for yourself what it is that happens to you. But I cannot understand why you say that you are lackadaisical about the Work. This is another, a serious matter. You must not do the work lackadaisically. It is the only thing that can help you, it is that which stands between you and life. And you tell me you do it lackadaisically! For Heaven's sake eat more, or sleep more or gain strength in whatever way you need and stop working if you must until you can work seriously."

Part II: Meetings 53

"But, Mr. Nyland," said Miss VR, "I did not mean to say that I am lackadaisical about the Work. It is a very serious thing for me. I am dead serious about it. I did not express myself clearly, I meant that daydreaming must surely influence my work on myself as it does my work at business." And Mr. Nyland said: "That is different. As to losing yourself, which is what happens, you are not alone in this. It happens to everybody. There isn't a person who can say truthfully that he remembers himself all the time. You cannot remember yourself all the way from here to the subway station; but you must try to observe and find out for yourself, in your case, at which point it is that you lose yourself. This constant effort will finally show you a pattern, a pattern that is your pattern, with which you must become fully acquainted before you can understand it. This is the reason for the task I have given you. You see, Miss VR, you must continue to work and refrain from asking questions until you really have a question to ask. Do you understand?" "Yes, I think that I understand," answered Miss VR. "It is so that I am filled with awe when I think of what man can do," said Carla. "Of what man are you thinking about?" asked Mr. Nyland. "I was not thinking in numbers," answered Caiia. "But you must because man number one, two and three— what we are—and man four—what we are trying to be— and man five; six and seven, they are all very different men," said Mr. Nyland. "Man number one and two, very little difference from animals. Man number three already a little above but still not a man 'without quotation marks.' It is important to know the level on which you are

54 GURDJIEFF GROUP WORK WITH WILHEM NYLAND

speaking." Mr. Nyland was smiling at Carla as she said with her usual sincerity: "But this I do not understand; why you never see what I have to say and you bring something else." "You must try to understand, Carla," said Mr. Nyland. "This is work for you." "I would like to know," said Joseph, "whether it is useful to do experiments like I have done this past week. I like to prepare breakfast. I have worn glasses since childhood and it is difficult for me to get around without them. So I decided, while I prepared breakfast, to do without my glasses. It made it very difficult. Everything had to be done differently, slower, more carefully. Are things of this sort useful?" "Provided that you do not fall asleep," said Mr. Nyland. "If you can remember all the time why you are doing this, if you know your aim, then they are very useful, But if you fall asleep and just do them then their value is lost. "It seems to me that one has to be extremely inventive," said Joseph. "On the contrary, Joseph," replied Mr. Nyland. "It is not a matter for invention. When people are beginning the Work they are told to do things like this and to pin their attention onto something, like observing their thumb, for instance, but this is in order to help them, to give them a taste so that they may know how to work later on. But after you have been in the Work for a long time, you must begin to participate, you must carry the work into your daily life, you must use life to work. You eat everyday, for instance. But do you taste your food, do you know what you are eating and enjoy it or dislike it, aware of yourself while feeling this? You do not have to invent. Everything in your life can be done differently if you are working.

Part II: Meetings 55

Everything can teach you a great many things, even a table can tell you a whole story. That is, provided that you are there. So, the point is that you must try to be there, you must try to participate and to use every possible opportunity in your daily existence to further your aim; there is nothing that cannot help you; this is what it means to bring your work into life and life into your work. We have to make use of life; and we do not have much time. We must always think of it. These are the things that will help us become what we want to be, that will further our aim. We must not lose sight of our aim." "It is so," said Joseph, "but how to keep always on a straight line in the work this is what I do not always know." "It is not a matter of a straight line. This work does not go on a straight line. It describes a parabola. But the parabola can point in different directions. Towards the moon or towards the sun. Our aim gives it direction. It is easier to go towards the moon because we are closer to it; but if we give it what we have to give it and face the sun for what it has to give us—we are free, that is, on our way to become free. It is these thoughts that we must have because they give us something that belongs to us, that we shall not leave behind, that we can take with us." "Then we must not be mechanical to free ourselves from nature?" asked Carla. "To be mechanical is one thing. Nature is another thing. We must try to free ourselves from both," said Mr. Nyland. Norah moved almost behind Mr. Nyland, who changed his usual place and was sitting practically by the door to the kitchenette. He turned around and said to Norah: "Why are you keeping yourself in the corner?"

56 GURDJIEFF GROUP WORK WITH WILHEM NYLAND

"I am waiting for the coffee to boil," she said. "But I have worked hard this last week and I have been dogmatic." "Good, did you find that it worked?" asked Mr. Nyland. "I think so," she said. "But I was thinking over what you said to Mrs. IBP. You see, I have a bit of the same problem. It started in childhood and from the start..." "I know," said Mr. Nyland. "The background, how we were brought up, what we were taught, all this counts and is with each one of us different. We all face the same problem and each one must find out for himself the pattern of which it is made. What is important is the pattern. When you find your pattern you find what makes you, you find your 'chief feature' and you can know what to do. This is why I say you must observe impartially, observe objectively, until it is all quite clear to you and you have reached the point where you know what your pattern is. This is work for everybody." Miss M asked: "Is it really possible for something to accumulate in us through this observation so that in time we can use it for working on ourselves?" "It is possible and it is just what happens," said Mr. Nyland. "Something strange happens in us. All these impressions voluntarily perceived represent a force which can be turned against the condition in us that is negative and destroy it. It is easy to understand. Everything is matter, even if we don't see it, it is matter of a different density. As happens with other matter—take ice, for instance which takes heat from the sun and evaporates, or alcohol, spirits, which will evaporate if left in contact with the air. A natural force is applied to them and they are affected accordingly. The same is true of these inner impressions voluntarily taken in and held through objec­ tive observation. They form a force which in time will act

Part II: Meetings 57

upon our negative states and these will disappear, they will evaporate. This is the peculiar manner in which our inner states react to this particular force. But it takes time to accumulate this force. It cannot be done in one day. And since 'manana' is our greatest tragedy, we never get where we should in our work, because we are always postponing until tomorrow, thinking that we have all the time in the world, oblivious of the fact that tomorrow may be too late, and we do not make the efforts, that is, we do not do the work that we ought to do now." The time came for us to close our meeting and have our light supper before those of us who go to the Movements classes on Monday took leave of the others. Carla asked Mr. Nyland whether he had seen Mr. R and he told her that he had, that Mr. R had called on him and at his office before leaving for Chicago and that he had found him to be an extremely nervous man. "Maybe it was ventured Carla.

because

he

was

in

your

presence,"

"No," said Mr. Nyland," he just didn't know how to keep quiet nor did he know what to do with his hands." "Yes," said Joseph, "that is so. But he is a very dynamic person. He supported the Adler movement here in New York, also in Chicago and I think that Adler treated him for nervousness. I think he would be a very good member for our group if he became interested. In fact, he is very much interested in Gurdjieff's ideas." "Has he always stuttered?" asked Mr. Nyland. "It seems to me that he has," said Joseph, "but it does not prevent him from speaking at business meetings and so on.

58 GURDJIEFF GROUP WORK WITH WILHEM NYLAND

"Very good/' said Mr. Nyland. "He will come back to see me when he returns from Chicago, meanwhile he has work to do. I saw to that." Then there was conversation about Eric having just returned from Venezuela from a visit to Carola and Joaquin, and Mr. Nyland mentioned that Martha will return this week, Madame de Salzmann towards the middle of the month, that Peggy had gone to Caracas, that you would be working and might not be able to come to the meetings for a while. Teddy said that she didn't know Carola was married and expressed great surprise when she learned that they married in June last year. Carla said she didn't know either. "In fact," said Carla, "this is something I wish to bring up. Life is made of such an entirely different pattern. During the two weeks that we didn't come together I could see this very clearly. I think that we do not come together sufficiently, I wonder whether perhaps a time will come when we must live together..." "Yes, Carla," answered Mr. Nyland. "The trouble for you lies just there, in your lack of curiosity, you were not interested just enough and ordinarily enough to ask about Carola and find out that she married. Lack of curiosity is very undesirable..." "I do not see what it has to do with this," said Carla. "And my understanding of curiosity is that it is not at all desirable. I cannot understand you." "We do not speak the same language, then," answered Mr. Nyland. "Curiosity means wonder, interest in knowing what is going on in the world around us, wonder at the extraordinary things that can happen to a man who works on himself; it does not stand for gossip and for idle talk.

Part II: Meetings 59

You must try to distingiush between the meanings of curiosity and when you do it you will understand." Gwen said, "Shall I send my Mr. Bennett lecture notes to Dorothy?" "No," said Mr. Nyland. "The notes are good for you but you do not know how she would react to them. There is nothing new or extraordinary about Mr. Bennett's lec­ tures; they appeal to you and you see him as you read your notes, but Dorothy wasn't there and I doubt whether the notes will serve any purpose." Gwen didn't think so, and at any event the time had come for us who had to leave to go to the Movements class, therefore we left them discussing the subject of Mr. Bennett's lectures.

PART III: TASKS AND THEMES

This section contains a list of thirty tasks and themes presented by Mr. Nyland. Work with one of these tasks every day for each month. You should be able to find an extra one of your own for the months that have thirty-one days. Persist in working in this manner and you will eventually be ready to understand how the expansion of this phase of the Work takes place.

It is assumed that most persons engaged in doing "task" work are in a group. The result of each one's efforts in doing tasks must be correctly reported to the group members. In this way all profit and you will learn many things about yourself and the fact that you cannot really do all the things that you think you can do.

We have spoken much about relaxation. I said that in order to learn to relax, one must learn to relax and remember to do it. You can do it any time whether you are sitting or standing. You can do it walking, talking, under all conditions. When you relax your muscular tensions, you find the way to your emotional patterns and eventually you can work with them. Without relaxation, nothing can be accomplished because a tense man cannot work on himself, much less help others. I suggest that you try to do this inner relaxing and to acquire the taste of what is possible for each one to do.

Speaking of tensions, Mr. Nyland said: "When you start observing your tensions—sensing them—you work from a spot that we have placed in the back of the head. When you observe, you relax your muscular tensions, and as you do this work, this place moves from the back of your head to another part of your body. It begins to accumulate here and to grow into something that will become what we call our 'I.' But the moment you start trying to find the causes of your tensions, you get into your ordinary intellectual center at once. You lose that something. It goes into your ordinary mind and you lose the energy that you had accumulated. That is why you are told to relax 63

64 GURDJIEFF GROUP WORK WITH WILHEM NYLAND

your muscular tensions. That relaxation should begin from the head down. You must observe your tensions. So, observe them, find them, relax them. As simple as that. • "As to emotional tensions, they correspond to some muscular tension, some inner tension. Find the tension, relax it and you will relax at the same time the emotional tension. It is not possible to work on our thoughts or feelings: they are much too fast for us, we cannot see them through ordinary efforts. But when we try to observe our muscular tensions and find them, we know where to look for them and know where to try to let go when some feeling of depression gets hold of us. That is why it is important to learn to relax." • •• Js it useful to try to find out the cause for the physical tensions^ No. Try to practice relaxing and the tensions will take care of themselves. Start from the head down. You need not fear that you will rid yourself of all your tensions right away or completely. They will always be somewhere to be found. If you start from your head you will find that by the time you move down your spine, some muscle in your face is taut again: again you try to relax it, and the thing repeats all the time. Even the word itself suggests something of its nature: "at tension." That is, at our tensions, not letting them get the best of us, ready to pounce on them and to relax them. This is work on oneself. This work will take you very far. • •• Referring to emotions without tension, Mr. N. said: "Possible, but rare among people like ourselves. We cannot emote at will or express emotions without feeling them. To do this requires ability to create one's emotions and none of us here present can do it. When it can be done, the thing is altogether different. For the present, our emotions take possession of us and we become lost in

Part III: Tasks and Themes 65

them. There is always an inner posture, also an outer posture corresponding to each particular emotion. Each person has his own postures, and his own tensions." • ••

To another person: "I have noticed that you turn your head to the right in order to hear better on the side of your other ear. It would be useful to you to try to turn your head in the opposite direction to the way you are in the habit of doing it. Try this task for one week.* You may find it very useful." • ••

Usually we start to work with much interest in connec­ tion with these efforts and after a few days the interest wanes. This is "do, re, mi." What do you think can be done about it? We either wish to work or we do not. If we do, this is just the spot where we have to start by redoubling our efforts. We know what to do. The question is, will we do it? When the desire is there we know it. ••

To someone who wished to know how to keep always on a straight line in the Work: "It is not a matter of a straight line. This work does not go on a straight line. It describes a parabola. But the parabola can point in different directions, towards the moon or towards the sun. Our aim gives it the direction. It is much easier to go towards the moon, we are closer to it: but if we give what we must give and face the sun for what it has to give us—we are free, that is, on our way to becoming free. It is these thoughts that we must have; they give us something that is ours, that we shall not leave behind, that we can take with us."

*This was for an individual only. For anyone else it should be for one day at a time.

66 GURDJIEFF GROUP WORK WITH WILHEM NYLAND

The task is: listen to your voice. Make it harsh, later on in the day make it soft. Hear the sound when you are angered or annoyed. Try to say something unpleasant in an agreeable tone of voice. Make an effort to be present to the words you are using. ••

Talking to a person who could not do the task of changing her voice because she feared people might think she was cracked: "You must use common sense in doing your tasks. You are to choose one hour each day to listen to your voice and to try to speak slowly while you do so, enunciating correctly and appearing to think a long time over your words before speaking. You do not have to talk to everyone in this manner. You may choose the subjects of your experiment. If you find out you cannot do it, try to see why, don't miss this part of the exercise." • ••

If you find that you are averse to talking slowly, try to speak rapidly, three times as rapidly as you now talk. What is important is your attitude; that is what you must observe. ••

You say that you have been feeling sad lately without knowing why. I suggest, when you become aware of this feeling, that you start singing aloud listening to your voice. If you are within sight of a mirror go take a good look at yourself and laugh aloud. Even if you pass a mirror on the street, look at yourself and chuckle or smile at yourself. Don't take yourself so seriously: try this task and find out. Try to be disagreeable for a day. Observe yourself making the effort. Do you become tense, are you in any way identified with the task, or can you take it in your stride? Were you aware of your voice?

Part III: Tasks and Themes 67

Say something ridiculous and try to feel some part of your body at the same time. The important thing is that what one is doing furthers one's aim. Your purpose gives weight to your actions. • ••

Try to make appointments with yourself and be very strict in keeping them as you would if you had an appointment in ordinary life. Make a few appointments for the day, with yourself, and decide beforehand what you will say to yourself when you meet yourself, just as if you were someone else. In the evening when making your film, try to see very clearly how you kept your appoint­ ments and if you didn't, why not. What did you do when you met yourself? How long did your meeting last? Were you actually there or just thinking about it? • ••

Make three appointments for the day with persons you know well, in your group or wherever. Plan your conversation with each one. Make an effort to imagine what they will answer. Film the result and see the outcome. ••

When you lose yourself, try to find out where you lost yourself. You must start from the beginning and find out what it is that happens to you. You must not work lackadaisically. ••

These small tasks, observing your thumb, making appoint­ ments with yourself, pinning your attention on some­ thing, are given you as simple tasks to help you get a taste of what work will be later on. But after you have been in the Work a long time, you must begin to participate. • •«

To someone who said she felt a cold coming: "We must not allow a virus here. But you can still work on yourself

68 GURDJIEFF GROUP WORK WITH WILHEM NYLAND

when the body feels out of sorts. Don't allow the body to dictate. It is not wise to lean altogether on taking medicine, believing it will cure you, but don't go to the other extreme and think that you can be healed without any medicine in all cases. When you have to take medicine, take it. But know what you are doing, know 'I am taking medicine because I wish to take it.' In that way you direct your body and do not allow it to have its free way. Try always to be awake despite your health. You can work when you are ill." •• Mr. Nyland had given people in our group the task to meet on a particular Monday, the same day we always met but when he expected to be out of town. We were not to meet in person as usual, but in thought only. When we met with him two weeks later he asked: "Were you at the meeting last Monday?" Some had forgotten. "How long were you in remembering?" A few had been an hour late or more in remembering. "Then it means you were late that much. It is very useful to think about these tasks. You live in the world and must carry the Work into your daily life. Work of which you think only when you are here is not work that has become ingrained in you. That is why this task is useful. I hope it helped you to see the pattern you are trying to find and that you saw how you fit into it and what it is like for you. Then you will be able to try to do something about it." • •• Question: I was to remember myself every timel left the house. Well, 1 would leave my house and find myself at the elevator or at the street and 1 had not been there at all. 1 was just not there. 1 don't know how it came about because all the time, even to just before getting where I happened to be, I was intent on being there, on remembering myself. Why is that, how is it that despite so many efforts I still cannot be there?

Mr. N.: This is your problem and everybody problem. It is the way man is made. For that reason we

else's

Part III: Tasks and Themes 69

must see it, but the moment that we realize this we are on our way to be helped. Sometimes it comes to people with a shock. They had never seen it before. At times it comes with a sense of fear if you knew not about it but this is just the moment when a person can best begin to work because now nobody can tell him that this is not so. They have experienced the feeling. This is nothing to be discouraged about, and there is nothing to fear. It is merely a matter of facing the fact. And all men are like that. Only most people have never seen it, some will never see it, and some have seen it or could see it but will not admit it or will do nothing about it. For the very few people who see it and admit it, there is hope. This is the way to freedom. And it has nothing to do with religion or with morals or with conduct or with anything of that kind. It has only to do with work on oneself as one is, and to try to grow into a better, freer, higher being. So, just keep on trying. And by the way, this is the only way to acquire presence. •• It is necessary to try. If no effort is made it is impossible to get anywhere. I cannot make your efforts for you. You must put the ideas into action, you must become clever, try to find ways to make things more difficult for yourselves in order to have better opportunity to work. • •• I understood we were to work in the evening. I thought 1 was not to think of this during the day.

Mr. Nyland: The task was for the evening. The work on yourself is for all hours. There is never a moment when you are free from the obligation to work on yourself. You have opportunities all day long. For heaven's sake use them. As I said before, you must become clever and use everything you can to remind yourself; you can hide things in order to be reminded of the Work while looking for them, put the telephone to the left instead of to the right, work with the left hand, anything, anything that

70 GURDJIEFF GROUP WORK WITH WILHEM NYLAND

will help you to awaken. We are dealing with a very clever enemy. We have to be clever ourselves. What if the people come to you at the wrong time? You can use them, be grateful to them, let them remind you that you must prepare yourself for work in the evening, let them give you a push all along during the day. That is how you can use other persons in the group. To the person who said: "My problem is that I have no interest. There are times when I wake up in the morning and wonder what for I should get up at all," Mr. N. answered: "That should not be any problem. We are not concerned now in how we feel and the reasons for our feelings. We are concerned with working on ourselves, with the desire to get something that will be lasting. For that purpose it does not really matter whether or not you want to get up. Perhaps you think you must because you were told as a child that it was the proper thing to do to get up early or something. I don't know. But as far as this Work is concerned, everything is proper. You can work on yourself in bed. Know that you are there in bed. There is no moment when you are separated from yourself. Therefore, whatever the circumstances, you can use them to work. You can either be there in bed like a piece of limp flesh or be there yourself observing this piece of limp flesh that is you and that has no interest in getting up. There is a great difference between these two attitudes. It is the desire to work that matters. If you have it, you must feed it like one feeds a child without wasting any opportunity to look after it. And in that sense, wherever you are, whatever you do, you can work on yourself." • ••

To someone who wanted to stop the constant flow of thought: "Why do you want to stop it?" The answer was: "Because they take away energy I don't want to lose." Mr. N. answered: "The task is, continue to observe them. This is the condition of our mind. Very few persons have a

Part III: Tasks and Themes 71

silent mind. But this observation on our part uses some energy for the purpose of observing. So, it may be said that we save some energy from disintegration. This in itself is very useful, because as time goes on, and you persist in doing it, you will have stopped this wastage of energy to a certain extent by saving little bits at a time. When you have saved enough you will have something to transform into a different kind of energy."

Carry on the Work into your daily life. You must use life to work. For instance, you eat every day—but do you taste your food; do you know what you are eating; enjoy or dislike it; are you aware of yourself while feeling this? You need not invent. Everything in life can be done differently when you are working. Everything can teach you many things. Even a table can tell you a whole story, provided you are there. So you must try to be there. That is what it means to bring the Work to your daily existence. There is nothing that cannot help you to further your aim. That is what brings your work into life and Life into your Work.

Make an Octave of Firsts: 1st Breath You Take 1st Sound You Hear 1st Thing You Touch 1st Taste You Have 1st Morsel of Food You Eat 1st Smell You Have 1st Thing You See 1st Smile You Have At the end of the day, try to see mentally this Octave of Efforts as it took place.

72 GURDJIEFF GROUP WORK WITH WILHEM NYLAND The Work does cause you to lose many things that were useless. You let them go so easily because they were unimportant. The Work becomes your center of gravity and you no longer waste energy watching the insipid movies or reading the silly detective story or laughing at the silly joke. These things pass and other, more impor­ tant things, take their place. Continue to observe. Do not mourn anything that is unimportant and leaves you as a result of our work. What is true creation? The creation of the Body Kesdjean.* Do things in a different way because the newness of it makes you see what you are doing and remember yourself. The accumu­ lation of little efforts and disappointments counts. Each effort is like a point. Point after point make a line. This is what counts. •• There are many other tasks that you can work out for yourself, always being careful not to include others in your task. •• Tasks help you to make a daily effort to work on yourself. Without a constant effort, you can expect no results.

*The Body Kesdjean in this Work means the higher being body...in religious terms, the spirit or soul.

$4.95

Gurdjieff Group Work with Wilhem Nyland A student asked, "What is true creation?" Mr. Nyland replied, "The creation of the Body Kesdjean. Do things in a different way because the newness of it makes you see what you are doing and remember yourself. The accumulation of little efforts and disap­ pointments counts. Each effort is like a point. Point after point make a line, line after line, a plane. This is the beginning. It is what counts." "There are many other tasks that you can work out for yourself, always being careful not to include others in your task." "Tasks help you to make a daily effort to work on yourself. Without a constant effort, you can expect no results."

Samuel Weiser, Inc. • Box 612 • York Beach, Me. 03910 Cover design by Alden Cole

ISBN 0-87728-580-2