Doctor Who: Travel Without the Tardis

Table of contents :
Front Cover
1: First You Build A Transmat
2: Packing Your Goodies
3: You Are Not the Doctor
4: London - Where It All Began
5: It's Only a Short Trip
6: On Location
7: The Master's Checklist

Citation preview






TRAVEL WITHOUT THE TARDIS Jean Airey and Laurie Haldeman Published by arrangement with the British Broadcasting Corporation

A TARGET BOOK published by the Paperback Division of W.H. Allen & Co. PLC


A Target Book Published in 1986 by the Paperback Division of W.H. Allen & Co. PLC 44 Hill Street, London W1X 8LB Copyright © Jean Airey and Laurie Haldeman, 1986 'Doctor Who' series copyright © British Broadcasting Corporation, 1986 Printed and bound in Great Britain by Hunt Barnard Printing Ltd, Aylesbury, Bucks. Typeset in Baskerville by Fleet Graphics, Enfield, Middlesex ISBN 0 426 20240 6

This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out or otherwise circulated without the publisher's prior consent in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.



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Introduction First You Build a Transmat: Planning; Documents; Selecting an Airline; Getting Around the Country; British Rail; Driving Yourself; Bus; Safety and Health; Solo vs Group; Money Matters; Contacts; Timing Packing Your Goodies: Supplies; Credit Cards You Are Not the Doctor: Language; Living British; British Telephone System; Houseguesting; Forgotten Words and Customs London - Where It All Began: On Arrival; Where to Stay; How to Get Around; Where to Go; Special Doctor Who Places; What Else to Do; Who's Appearing Where; Where to Eat; Using the Telephone It's Only a Short Trip: Acton; Aldbourne; Avebury; Bagley Woods; Barnet By-Pass; Bamsley; Battle; Birmingham; Bisley; Blackhurst House; Black Park; Blackpool; Bodiam Castle; Bognor Regis; Brighton; Bristol; Cambridge; Canterbury; Denham; Dover Castle; Dungeness; Ealing; East Hagboume; Evesham; Frensham Ponds; Gerrards Cross; Harrison Rocks; Harwell; Hastings; Hoo; Ironbridge Gorge; Hurley; Isle of Wight; Knebworth House; Leeds Castle; Longleat; Mayfield, Medway River; Middlesex Polytechnic; Miserden; Northampton; Oxshott; Portsmouth; Quainton; Queen Elizabeth Woods; Runnymede; Shapwick; Stargroves; Stonehenge; Sussex Downs; Villiers House, Ealing; Wimbledon





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Wookey Hole; Quarries We Have Known and Loved; Clustering On Location: Cornwall; Penzance; Land's End; Lizard's Point; Church Cove; Ruan Minor; Dartmoor; Iken Marshes; Jodrell Bank; Portland Bill; Skegness; Scotland - Culloden, Loch Ness; Wales - Blaenavon, Nantyglo, Brecon Beacons, Portmeirion, Maenturog, Nant Ffrancon, Powys; Overseas with the Doctor; Amsterdam; Paris; Seville; Lanzarote The Master's Checklist Bibliography



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This book was written by two devoted Doctor Who fans and devout Anglophiles who are of an age where youth hostels are no longer acceptable or feasible. And, while we haven't won the lottery (yet), we are moderately experienced travellers who have not lost our sense of adventure or curiosity. If you watch Doctor Who, it's probably crossed your mind at one or more points (hopefully without cloning and shrinking) that you'd like to visit some of the places associated with the show and see something of the marvellous country that produces it. If you're a relatively inexperienced traveller, though, you've probably put off making the trip because there are so many 'unknowns'. And if you're an experienced traveller, the thought of trying to organise a trip geared just around Doctor Who was a bit overwhelming. This book is written for both of you - along with anyone who falls in between. While curiosity may have killed the proverbial cat, we wanted to make sure that it wouldn't exterminate any other Doctor Who fans who travelled to England. To do that, we were willing to try our own recipes and see if we were able to survive. Additionally, we weren't afraid to ask other, more knowledgeable people for help. Thanks must go to John Nathan-Turner, The Doctor Who Appreciation Society, The Doctor Who Monthly, John Peel {Fantasy Empire) and many others. Of course we don't think of ourselves as travel experts. We've certainly made our goodly share of mistakes! But by


following our suggestions, your trip will be more enjoyable and you can invent mistakes of your own! Your trip to England should be an adventure. If you can afford the standard tour package - being put up at an expensive hotel in London and carted to and from what the tour thinks you should see - fine and dandy. You don't need this book. On the other hand, if you want to see where the Doctor was tied to the post waiting for the Kraals' bomb to explode, or where the Daemon terrorised the villagers, or where Leela swam in the TARDIS, then this book is just what the Doctor ordered. We've gathered the information you need to plan to go to England and have as much fun doing things as your time and resources permit. Don't make the fatal mistake of the inexperienced traveller and set an impossible intinerary. You'll get tired, or it will rain (inevitably . . . ), or someone or something you desperately want to see will be 'closed for repairs'. Plan to return! Nothing says that you can only make one trip to Britain in your lifetime. It's a law of the galaxy that you can visit Britain as often as any renegade Time Lord. This book is not all-inclusive. When you have read it and are ready to plan your trip, get some of the other books listed in the bibliography. Frommer's, Fodor's, the Let's Go series, etc., all list many places to stay, eat, and what those places will cost. The British Tourist Authority (BTA) and the Automobile Association (AA) also publish excellent books. In the bibliography you'll find a listing of countries and cities that have British Tourist Authority Offices. Contact them if you can. They're more than willing to help. Remember, this book is written by fans for fans. We'd like to hear from you about your experiences, so that updates are accurate and our revisions are timely. May the Time Winds be always at your back, and if you see a blue Police Public Call Box . . . don't let it leave without you! 8   

1 First You Build A Transmat Planning Since no travel agency is offering TARDIS fares, the next quickest (and probably more reliable) way would be by transmat. Unfortunately, the plans for the actual construction of this fabled device are in the Chicago USA Dead Letter Office, and they won't be recovered until the year 2000. So you'll have to get to Britain in a more conventional manner. This may mean that it will take you some time to get to Britain; possibly travelling through several time zones. If that's true, don't plan to do too much on the first day you're in there. Give your body a chance to catch up to the time change. Use this book to determine just what Doctor Who locations you want to visit on this trip to Britain. Figure out how much time you can spend in Britain. Then take a Month at a Glancetype calendar and start filling in the days with what you want to see. Don't try to do too much in any one day (two major attractions is a good number to aim for), and don't lock yourself into doing something every day. Allow some time for spur of the moment activities - or just relaxing. Time Lords may not need to sleep, but humans do. If your activity involves a trip, note departure times (and stations), and return times inside each daily block. If you're going to need a sleeping room for the night, note that too. Take into account the time it will take you to get to Britain. Decide just exactly what you want your trip to be like -what type of hotels you want, what kind of transportation 9   

you plan to use. After making your first plan, put it aside for a bit and then look at it again. When you're sure it's what you really want, take that information to your travel agent. Get a good travel agent. A good travel agent listens to what you want to do and doesn't try to sell you his or her prepackaged tour-of-the-week. He or she has been to Britain and not just as the paid guest of one hotel chain. The agency should be licensed, and should have been around your community for at least five years. We hope the day will never come when travel agents charge for their services - the present system provides for reimbursement by the carriers and hotels they deal with -but times change. Check with the agencies in your area before dealing with any specific one. Your agent should be able to offer a wide variety of choices - planes, hotels, auto rentals, etc. and should not turn as green as a Swampie of Delta Magna at the mention of Bed and Breakfast places or Youth Hostels. If you don't have or can't find a travel agent you like, check with the local branch of your National Automobile Travel Association. You don't always have to be a member to use their services and they can often help you plan your trip. Documents Even the Doctor, as we saw in 'Robot', carries some identification around with him. Of course, in his case, it wasn't the identification needed. You, on the other hand, have to be sure that you have the right kind of identification and other documents. You will need a passport. If you do not have a current passport then you should apply for one well in advance of your trip (in America, allow at least two months). If you do have one, check to be sure that it won't expire during your trip. Passport requirements vary from country to country, but generally you must supply proof of citizenship (as in a birth certificate), two specially sized absolutely identical 10   

pictures, the right amount of money and, occasionally, have additional proof that you are who you say you are. In many countries you can get a passport at the post office. Check with your local government for specific requirements. You should also carry some other form of photographic identification besides your passport. Planning on driving? You'll need your current, valid, national driver's licence (for an automobile, not a moped or a Zanakian flying car). If you're a student, get an International Student Identification card. If you're planning on using hostels, you'll need a youth hostel card. Check with your travel agency for details on obtaining these cards. See what your current medical insurance will cover in Britain and have the right information available should you require medical treatment. Tourists get free medical treatment only for real emergencies - so be prepared. Being zapped by a Zygon would qualify, but problems caused by drinking too much wine with Solon wouldn't (unless you lost your head). Talk to your travel agent about some form of travel insurance. Coverage in many countries is available for everything from lost baggage to illness ruining your trip plans! Carry all insurance information with you. Make a photographic copy of your passport that shows your picture and the passport number and keep it in a totally different place than your passport. If you lose your passport, report it immediately! You must know your passport number to have it replaced. Check with your travel agent on what the current health requirements are to leave and enter your country. There's good news for Americans: at the present time, no shots are required. If a health certificate is required make sure you get it in time. Selecting An Airline We'll assume that you're on a budget and don't have the 11   

$4000 to fly a round trip on the Concorde (that's without a side-trip to the dawn of time - courtesy of the Master!). Firstclass fares are also more than most fans can afford. Don't worry about it. While the seats are much nicer up in that part of the plane, they're really not worth the price difference. If you make your plans well in advance, you should have time to shop around and find the very best bargain. Your travel agent can help. APEX rates require that you purchase your tickets 21-45 days in advance and usually also require a minimum stay of a certain number of days. Almost every airline has these rates and they are generally a good buy. There are also the budget airlines, People's Express and Virgin Airlines, that are now flying from the USA to London. The prices for these services are generally more than reasonable, but be aware that there is a reason why the service costs less. (No, you don't have to flap your arms to keep the plane in the air.) Talk to friends who have flown the budget route and your travel agent. On our last trip we saved $200 each by flying People's Express. Even sitting on the ground in Newark waiting seven hours for an engine to be repaired didn't change our minds about having made the right choice. (Laurie points out that on one of her trips she spent ten hours waiting while TWA got its plane ready to fly!). If time means little to you, consider flying standby. Standby rates are cheap, but you don't know exactly when you will leave or return. When you make your reservations, find out then if you have to reconfirm before your return flight. Some airlines require this 72 hours in advance, others 48, some not at all. If it's required and you don't do it, you will lose your seat and be stranded at the airport just like Tegan in 'Time Flight'! Many airlines let you choose your seat when you make your reservation. If they do, or if you just grab a seat when you get on, you might want to consider the following: on a


L1011 or a 747, the seats over the wing are supposed to give you a smoother ride. Seats in the middle of a three-seat section are a little larger than the seats on the sides (but this can vary with the airline). Seats in the front rows of a section and sometimes just behind the exits have more leg room, but, with no seat in front of you, you have no under-the-seat-storage. BEWARE! Seats in the last row of a section do not recline all the way. If you sit next to a bulkhead, you can lean against it and it won't complain - a live fellow passenger probably will. Getting Around the Country: British Rail The British Rail System is one of the wonders of the world. That's our opinion, based on what exists in America. The British will tell you that it's no longer what it once was -many routes to small towns and even sections of the country no longer exist - but it's certainly the best that we've seen. The trains are clean, comfortable, often have food on board, and even run on time. Add to that the fact that the cost of train travel is very reasonable and you'll see why we recommend it. We don't know if the Doctor ever travelled by train but in 'Black Orchid' he not only knew what a train station was but said that he'd always wanted to drive a train as a child. Apparently they also have trains on Gallifrey. We suspect that if the third Doctor had ever been on one, he would have driven it! There are many books that will give you information on the British Rail system. If you are planning several trips outside London, whether day trips or touring expeditions, check into a British Rail pass. You can get a British Rail Pass for the class of service you want and for periods of time ranging from 7 days to 1 month. Youth pass prices are also available for those under 25; Senior Citizens can travel first class at economy class rates. (Incidentally, in the States it's known as a Britrail pass). Your travel agent has current prices. So, consider where you want to go, investigate the 'regular' round trip fares and 13   

make your decision. Please note that you must buy your British Rail Pass before you get to Britain - and you should allow at least a month for it to arrive. Depending on your travel agent, you may get your actual British Rail Pass, or an airline-style coupon that you turn in for your British Rail Pass when you get to Britain. If you get the coupon, you will also get a list of places where you can turn it in - including the British Rail offices at Gatwick and Heathrow airports. When you get your pass, it will be undated. "You write in your passport number and sign the pass. You must have the pass validated at a British Rail ticket office or a travel centre in Britain. The first and last day of its validity period will be written in at that time. An unvalidated pass is good for one year after it's been issued. Once you have a valid British Rail Pass, you can board any train going anywhere (as long as it's not exclusively First Class and you only have an Economy Pass: then you have to pay a supplement or else travel in the luggage compartment). Show your pass to the guard when he asks for tickets. That's all. Easy, eh? There's a supplemental charge for reserving seats, for switching to First Class from Economy, or for getting a sleeping compartment on an overnight sleeper train. British Rail/Sea Pass allows you to take a 'free' hovercraft ride from Dover to France and return. We can assure you that the pilots of the hovercrafts are more skilled than Jon Pertwee was in making 'Planet of the Spiders'. He was piloting the vehicle, without any instruction, and nearly ran down the camera crew when he tried to stop! You can use your Seapass for one way'or round trips to Paris ('City of Death', T. Baker, 1979) or Amsterdam ('Arc of Infinity', Davison, 1983) although you'll have to pay for your travel on the continent. One way to get the most out of a short trip to Britain is to plan to take sleeper trains between long distances such as the trip between London and Inverness. Catch the train about midnight, sleep during the trip, and arrive refreshed in the 14   

morning. You can then spend afull day around Inverness (or Cornwall) and catch a sleeper back that night. If you arrange your schedule carefully, you can avoid paying for a room in London, and the cost of the sleeper is quite a money saver. Second class (or economy) sleepers have two bunks - on,e above the other. First class has the same size compartment but with only one bunk. Two adults sharing a compartment the size of the priest's hole in 'Pyramids of Mars' is definitely an adventure in mutual co-existence. There are no showers or baths available but each compartment does have a sink with running water for washing purposes. Drink only the bottled water that is provided. Toilet (lavatory) facilities are 'down the hall.' You can buy light snacks and beverages from the attendant, but your breakfast of coffee or tea and biscuits is included in the sleeper charge. The attendant will also wake you when you ask (yes, at some point you do have to leave the train when it arrives!), so allow time to get ready. If you plan on using a sleeper, you must reserve ahead of time. You can do this for any trip from the Travel Centre in any train station. Reserve as far in advance as you can (such as immediately upon arrival - you planned ahead, remember!). Some runs are very popular and get booked up. If you want to get out of London and travel around the countryside, you should consider some sort of a Rail-Drive package. This allows you to take advantage of the marvellous rail service to get you from - say - London to Swindon and then, in your own rental car, tour the countryside at your own pace. If you don't get a British Rail Pass here are some points that can save you money: Ask for an Awayday Return if you're going out and coming back on the same day. (They are restricted on some trains on Monday - Friday) If you're travelling out on a Friday, Saturday, or Sunday and coming back the same weekend on Saturday, Sunday, or 15   

Monday, ask for a Weekend Return. (There are some Friday and Monday restrictions going to and from London.) A Nightrider (that's without the K) allows you to travel to parts of Scotland from London in first class. The service does not go to Inverness, however. If you don't get a British Rail Pass before you leave, you can purchase a Railrover for seven or fourteen days when you arrive in Britain. These are more expensive than the British Rail Pass but, if you're going to be riding the rails, it's probably cheaper and more convenient than individual tickets. InterCity Savers are available between London and certain cities. Time restrictions apply (i.e. leaving London after 10.00 A.M. Monday-Friday) and you must return within a month bn any train, any day. A Triple Ticket allows you to take three British Rail trips from London for $50 (USA, 1985) - travelling first class. The selection of trips allowed is like a Chinese Restaurant menu, one from each of three columns, but the current listing would allow you to see three Doctor Who-related locations. If you're feeling a bit shaky about travelling on your own, ask your travel agent to check out the Britainshrinkers. These are guided tours using British Rail and they visit quite a few Doctor Who locations. If you do have a British Rail Pass, the cost is reduced even further. If none of the above fits, ask for an Ordinary Return. Understand all of that? Your next assignment is to solve all the continuity errors in Doctor Who. Unsure if the British Rail Pass would work for you? How about the London Travel Pack? It includes a three day London Explorer Pass, Airport Transfers, and a four-day British Rail Pass. Or you might be able to get the London Town and Country with a three day London Explorer Pass, Airport Transfers, and round trips to Canterbury, Cambridge, and Brighton (all Doctor Who locations). These types of packages vary from year to year as does the price of a British Rail Pass; so talk to your travel agent. 16   

When travelling out of London, keep in mind London has many rail stations. Be sure you know where to go to catch your train. For example: trains to Inverness leave from Euston Station; for Leeds it's King's Cross; Cambridge trains depart from Liverpool Street; and it's Paddington for Penzance! If you have checked out of your hotel in London and don't need to take all your luggage with you, you can use the Left Luggage in any of the stations for storage for a couple of days. There's a small, reasonable fee for this. Tip the attendant when you pick up your bags! At the train stations, you can use the free luggage carts. The only problem is, they're as scarce as jethrik stones and usually at the other end of the station. If you're lucky enough to find one, don't pile things on that are much wider than the cart. You will have to roll it through the ticket gates. There are always stairs in the stations, probably to defeat invading Daleks, but lifts or elevators are also available. Ask the station staff for help. Don't open the outside door of your train compartment until the train comes to a complete stop. If you're on the platform, don't stand too close to the platform edge. If some idiot opens his door while the train is moving, you could have a nasty accident. You really don't want to look like one of the Kraal androids with its face off - do you? British Rail books abound, some of which we've listed in the bibliography. If you want to take the train to see the countryside, it's a good idea to get the Thomas Cook Continental Timetable from a Thomas Cook travel office, or a a speciality travel bookstore, or SASE the Forsyth Travel Library, Box 2975, 9154 W. 57th St., Shawnee Mission, KS 66201 USA. Driving Yourself While the Doctor seems to be able to hop into all kinds of vehicles and manoeuvre them without getting traffic tickets and the like, remember - you are not the Doctor. A bit of 17   

forewarning is called for. One very tempting way of getting around Britain is by driving yourself. If you're staying in London the whole time, skip this section altogether. There is absolutely no reason to try driving in London - and several million reasons rolling around on two, three, and four wheels why you shouldn't. The mass transit systems in London are quite capable of getting you where you want to go without a great deal of effort on your part. So, simply turn to the next section. Big cities not your cup of tea, eh? Well, we think a major portion of the charm of Britain is best realised by visiting places not on the mass transit routes. While it's true you can travel to and through large sections of the country by train, there are times when a car is essential. Nevertheless, if there are two-four of you, you might want to consider hiring a taxi when you arrive at your general location. We found out we could have hired a taxi to drive around Inverness for just about the cost of a car - and we all could have looked at the scenery instead of concentrating on driving. The taxi rental consideration is even truer if you cannot drive a stick-shift car and have to go to the significantly more expensive automatic transmission version. A word of warning: the car rental group we'd booked with downgraded us to a stick-shift in Scotland. Since we'd booked the automatic more for its size (four of us and luggage), we were not at all pleased. Luckily the luggage didn't happen to be along, and Jean could drive a stick shift. You might not have that kind of good fortune. If you do rent a stick-shift, realise you'll be shifting with your left hand. Don't try it if you've only had 'experience' in a Driver's Ed simulator! Of course, you know that the British drive on the opposite (left) side of the road from most other nations. (In the interests of international relations, don't call it the wrong side!) The driver's seat is also on the opposite side, which helps somewhat. What helps even more for the first day or so is if 18   

the other people in the car yell LEFT! whenever the driver makes a turn. It may be noisy, but it gets the point across. We do wonder why the British, with their great regard for safety, don't have non-British drivers display some kind of flag on their vehicles - after all, learners are required to have an L on their licence plate, and there is a compulsory seatbelt law for everyone in the front seat! The confidence of car rental firms as they blithely hand you the keys (knowing you're not native to their land) and turn you loose on their roads in their shiny car amazes us. We think this practice is fully equivalent to letting Tegan pilot the TARDIS by herself without the TARDIS manual. We can't give you the equivalent of that manual but here's some information that might help. Before you go anywhere, get a map. Get several maps. Don't rely on your car rental firm to give you the kind of map you need. What you want is called an Ordnance Survey map and the scale should be at least three miles to the inch. These are wonderful maps of the country telling you all about what you're driving through. Everything is marked: old castles, standing stones, market crosses, and sometimes even quarries! Not only does using one of these maps make the driving much more interesting, but it makes it nearly impossible to get lost. There's as much packed in an 'inch' of Britain as in one of the Doctor's pockets. You can find these maps at Tourist Information Centres in Britain but we suggest you see if your speciality bookstore can order them for you. Read them before you leave, mark things you want to see and bring the maps with you. They will not help you if you leave them sitting at home on your dresser. There are no road signs in space and the Doctor has to navigate without them. You will not find this the case in Britain. Intersections are very well marked, but if you make the wrong turn, you won't find out until you get to the next inter19   

section. There are no signs in between. This is another reason for a good, detailed map. You can tell the quality of the road you will be taking by its number. An M road is a high speed motorway: very dull and somewhat scary to folks who are used to obeying the speed limits. An A road is better than a B, and the more digits after the letter, the smaller the road. One type of sign you will see upon approaching an intersection resembles a flattened octopus with a varying number of 'arms.' (The rest were probably pulled off by whatever flattened it.) Congratulations! You're now coming to a roundabout. A roundabout is the British replacement for a multiple stop intersection. We think they're marvellous. The principle is that you enter the roundabout (with care, yielding to the right) and circle in a clockwise direction until you come to your turn or exit. If you miss it, you can keep going around until it comes up again. The turns are plainly marked and the traffic keeps moving. Roundabouts come in varying sizes. In some cities you'll find miniroundabouts - equivalent to an American four-way stop - only you don't stop, you go round! In Swindon, there's something called the Magic Roundabout that is actually seven roundabouts hooked into each other. After we manoeuvred through that one safely and correctly we were ready to tackle anything. Traffic signs are supposed to be fairly universal with their little pictographs. The British seem to go in for 'crossing' signs more than Americans - with some interesting results. The 'deer crossing' sign is much like the American one, although Jean thinks that the deer is prettier. A round sign with a cow is a 'cow crossing,' a horse is a 'horse crossing', a horse and a rider is 'horse and rider crossing', but, you ask, what does a little galloping horse mean? It's a 'wild pony crossing.' Other types of crossings that can be equally confusing are Zebra and Pelican crossings. No, they're not for Zebras and 20   

Pelicans, they're for pedestrians! We'll discuss them in the London section. Apparently there are no laws saying you have to park in the direction you are driving. (Or if there are, they aren't very well enforced.) This can be confusing and frightening to a novice traveller already driving on the 'opposite' side of the street. Since many village streets are narrow, traffic coming towards you will suddenly swing out around a parked car into what is essentially your lane. Don't panic! It doesn't necessarily mean you're going the wrong way. If the other driver doesn't immediately pull over into the other lane, panic! Otherwise, be alert! Drive with extreme caution! Expect the unexpected, and remember - a navigator for a partner in the car is worth their weight in gold! We strongly urge prospective drivers to get a British road manual and read it before starting to drive. They are, unlike American ones, wonderfully readable. If you've done your homework, you won't be surprised by the varying speed limits, the significance of yellow stripes on the curb, or the signs that mean NO!!! but don't look like it. A red ring or red circle around a sign, even without the red slash bar, means NO!!! We especially like the one with the red circle and nothing in the centre that means no vehicles. Could have fooled us (and did). Not only is this foreknowledge forearming, but you can also start to get a taste of the country by reading that you should watch out for pedestrians near a 'parked milk float' or a 'mobile shop'. Cautions about not ever driving so as to scare the animals or revving your motor so as to harass a pedestrian at a zebra crossing will help you appreciate what you're getting into. Bus While British Rail no longer goes everywhere, the chances are a bus or a coach does. Note: a bus is a large, multi-passenger vehicle that runs inside a town or local district and stops a lot; 21   

a coach is a large multi-passenger vehicle that runs between towns and doesn't stop very much; and a railway coach is quite simply a carriage! There are lots of different bus and coach companies linked together at interchange points. Inside London you will find both red buses for local service and green buses that travel to the immediate outlying areas. You can board a Green Line bus in London by waiting at a green and white bus sign and signalling the driver by waving your left hand when you see the bus approach. (If you wave your right hand, the driver will just wave back and keep on going.) Many companies also offer bus tours of the country. Bus fares tend to be less expensive than rail fares, but generally the trip takes longer. Visit or write the Victoria Coach (not the Train or the Underground!) Station in London for more information. There is, at this writing, a Britexpress Pass that allows unlimited coach travel on the National Express Bus System and some travel on the Green Lines. You can buy it for five or ten separate days of travel - it's stamped only on each specific day you use it. Children and students get discounts. The price is most reasonable - five days for an adult cost £25 in 1985. Buy this in the USA, Canada, and seventeen other countries, or from the National Express counter at Victoria Coach Station - have your passport ready. Safety and Health Britain is a very safe and comfortable country, but it's always sensible to take reasonable precautions. Guard against pickpockets - especially in a crowd - the same way you would elsewhere. Keep your money secured and don't flash cash! Keep most of your money in traveller's cheques and have the numbers of the cheques written down and stored in a totally different location than the cheques themselves. Don't cash more at one time than you can afford to lose. Don't leave valuables in your room - no matter how exclusive the hotel. There's no need to bring expensive 22   

jewellery with you and unless you're a professional photographer, carry a camera small enough to keep with you at all times." Always carry your passport with you in a secure place. Women should carry a shoulder bag with the strap on their shoulder and an arm around it as well. Men should carry their passport and wallet in an inside jacket pocket (preferably one that can be buttoned) or in a money belt around their waist. Never carry it in a hip pocket. Don't go walking in dark areas late at night - or go wandering off well-travelled streets - especially if you're by yourself! Don't get paranoid. After all, the Black Guardian isn't after you is he? Britain and London are much safer than New York City, but don't be silly and take foolish chances. Just as you should take care of your belongings, you should take care of yourself as well. Before leaving, get plenty of rest, and lose five to ten pounds (well, it wouldn't hurt!). You will be doing a lot of walking, so get in shape by doing more walking at home beforehand. If you need any special medication, or any unique over-thecounter remedy, bring a good supply with you (see Packing Your Goodies). On the plane ride over, be sure to drink a lot of water -flying is dehydrating. Don't drink alcohol; it's not only dehydrating, it can combine with time-zone changes to produce terminal jet lag (well, it feels like it). Loosen your shoes, but don't take them off (you might not be able to get them back on) and wear loose clothes. Sleep on the plane -forget the movie. Change your watch to British time as soon as the plane takes off and treat that time as if it were real - in a few hours it will be. Solo Vs Group Travelling solo can get rather lonely, and, especially for first time visitors, the idea of going with other people is appealing. Remember, though, travelling with a group on vacation . is 23   

more strenuous than being married - no one is going to go off to work for the day. Be sure that you and your group know each other well before you leave. Otherwise you could end up sounding like Adric, Tegan, Nyssa and the fifth Doctor on one of their 'good'days. If you are travelling in a group, try to stick together. Sounds reasonable and fairly easy, eh? No way. Always have a place picked out before starting where all are to meet at an agreed-upon time in case anyone becomes separated from the main body. Be sure every member of the group has a watch and can tell the time. Any names or telephone numbers (places where messages could be left or places to call for confirmation of arrival, etc.) should be distributed among each person at the same time. If it's necessary for the group to split up for any reason (shopping, picture-taking, etc.) the same should apply. This pre-planning sounds tedious, but it will save an enormous amount of wasted time in the event someone turns up missing. Don't think this couldn't possibly happen. It always happens, usually at the most inconvenient time imaginable: Look at how many times it happens on the show, and we all know that's an accurate reflection of real life right? When travelling with a group do unto them as you would have them do unto you. This will save hurt feelings, temper tantrums, and lost friendships as well as make the trip a heckuva lot more fun. Besides, it's just plain polite. Now, will someone tell that to the sixth Doctor? Money Matters British money is pleasing to the artistic eye with its variety of shapes, colours and sizes. It is, however, somewhat boggling to the visitor's brain. One can only be thankful that it is, as Susan predicted in 1963, now on the decimal system. Of course, for the visitors, that takes away a good excuse for not being able to make the right change. Unless you want to 24   

mimic the Doctor in 'Planet of Fire1 and just throw a bunch of change at whoever you're trying to pay for something, it helps to familiarise yourself before you arrive. The folding money is very nice and relatively straight forward. It is sized differently for each denomination with a £1 note being the smallest and a £50 note being the largest. Not only does the size differ by denomination, but each bill is coloured differently. Most logical and attractive! Coins, unfortunately, are not as logical. There are coppercoloured coins and silver-coloured coins and one very odd brass-coloured coin. We'll compare them in size to American coins, since we're more familiar with them. Copper coins are one pence (lp) and two pence (2p). The one pence is smaller (about the size of a nickel) and the two pence is about the size of a quarter. Got that? The silver coins are even more diverse. There is a five pence (5p) coin (also about the size of a nickel), and a ten pence (lOp) coin about the size of a quarter. After that, there's a twenty pence (20p) coin, hexagonal in shape, but smaller than the lOp coin (again about the size of a nickel). If that's not enough, there's a fifty pence (50p) coin - also Hexagonal, but now about the size of a half-dollar. You didn't think that this was going to be easy, did you? What about the odd-coloured brassy-looking one? You don't want to think about it? Well neither "do we, but it's apparently here to stay. It's a one pound coin (£1) - in value, not weight -although it comes close. This too is about the size of a nickel but three times as thick. (And you thought American Susan B. Anthony dollars were strange? Well, apparently the British government is going to stop using the £1 note altogether and switch to these!) Don't get carried away collecting coins. In spite of their value, you will not be able to turn them back into the currency 25   

of your country when you get home. We don't know why, that's just the way it is. Over several days your coin collection tends to be larger and heavier than a similar amount in - say - American. It's a good idea to invest in a small zipped purse to carry the coins. The standard wallet-type coin holder simply won't work. Actually, you might as well look for a wallet that will comfortably handle the larger size bills as well. Before you leave, change your trip budget into pounds and buy traveller's cheques in pounds sterling. The last thing you want to worry about is the exchange rate. Start thinking about how many pounds you can spend a day and still stay on budget. Forget about dollars, francs, marks, etc. Think British! With traveller's cheques in pounds, you can go to any bank and get cash. (Be sure you have your passport with you. The bank will want to see it. They will not accept your UNIT identification, or your DW fan club membership card, or even your driver's license.) Some small Bed and Breakfast places and shops will not accept even pound sterling traveller's cheques although there is no charge from British Banks for depositing them. So, while travelling in the country, it's best to keep a reasonable supply of cash on hand. It's extremely important to have some British cash with you when you arrive. Your bank can get this, but you may need to order it several days in advance. Don't wait until the last minute, check it out ahead of time and make all the necessary arrangements. Plan to arrive in the country with at least £50 in cash. It's likely you will arrive on a weekend and the banks won't open until Monday. Be sure you're not arriving on a Bank Holiday weekend when the banks will also be closed on Monday. In this case, add at least £25 more and watch your early spending. A little advance planning can make your trip much more enjoyable. Banks often keep strange hours. The most common opening times are from 9.30-3.30 Monday-Friday. Banks in small 26   

towns may close down on additional days during the week. Keep enough cash on hand for surprises like this. We've heard that the banks at Heathrow and Gatwick airports are open sill the time. We wouldn't count on it. Anyway, why wait around an airport to change your money? Do it ahead of time and you'll be set to go. Contacts We've compiled a list of some addresses and phone numbers we think will be helpful. They're in the back of the book. As you read other books about Britain, you may want to add to this. Start your own 'special' book with all the addresses and phone numbers of people, places, and things you think might be important while you are in Britain. Add to this the addresses of folks at 'home' that you can't remember easily and might want to write to. Just remember when writing home to send everything airmail, or else it could take months to arrive. Timing The High Season is considered to be from approximately Easter (or Good Friday) to the end of September (or midOctober). It's more expensive to travel within this period and much more crowded. Reservations are imperative at hotels, in the more popular spots, and even the Bed and Breakfast places. Tourist Information (located in almost every city of any size) will help you find a place to stay if you're travelling without a reservation, but space is at a premium during these months and they can't conjure up what isn't to be found. If you don't want to be like Tegan's cousin and sleep in the crypt of a church (and you know what happened to him!), consider travelling in the Shoulder Season (in the spring before Easter; late October to mid-November) or the Low Season (mid-November - late February). At these times transAtlantic fares are lower and all hotel rooms are cheaper; there are also fewer people crowding the various attractions you 27   

will want to see. You must, however, check to make sure what you want to see will be open as not all attractions are open year round. (The DW exhibition at Longleat House is only one example.) The weather should also be a prime consideration in planning the time of your trip as you might have to give up some looked-forward-to treats simply because the weather won't co-operate. Of course, if saving money is a definite concern, you should, by all means, consider travelling off season. Something else to consider is that British schools start in early or mid-September and Continental schools start even earlier, so sightseeing won't be as crowded in September as it is in the summer months. This might be a good time to travel if you don't have to watch every penny and want to be assured of fairly decent weather. Major holidays when everything tends to close down include: New Year's Day (1 January), Good Friday, Easter Monday, May Day (the first Monday in May), Summer Bank Holiday (the last Monday in August in England and Wales, the first Monday in August in Scotland), Christmas Day (25 December) and the day after (Boxing Day). Wales also adds 1 March, as the anniversary of the death of their patron saint, Saint David. On all major holidays, public services, such as buses, are cut down. This is especially true around Christmas. Whatever time you decide, if the weather isn't perfect, or the crowds are too much, or the attraction you wanted to see is closed, take it in good grace. Getting upset and angry at something that you can't control will not change a thing and will only help to spoil your vacation.


2 Packing Your Goodies The keyword to packing is light - and that goes for your suitcase as well as what's in it. We're not suggesting that you run out and buy anything new, but make sure that what you've got is what you really want to carry. The older or hard-sided kind tends to be heavy even before anything is packed. 'Wheels' - whether removable or permanently attached - are nice for straight shots through the airport or walking down the street but don't help much when you're going up stairs or riding escalators. Of course, if all you're going to do is arrive in London and hole up in a hotel, you don't have to worry much about getting your bags from one place to another. But if you're planning on getting out for some overnight trips in the country, think twice about what you are carrying. Make sure that all luggage snaps, hooks, and zippers are in good working order. Put your name and address both outside (use a sturdy luggage tag) and inside your bags. Most airlines allow you to check two bags and carry on one small one. 'Carry-on' luggage is tempting but be careful before buying. What the manufacturers call carry-on and what the airlines accept are two different animals. For most airlines today, size is the important factor. Check with the airline you're flying to see what they accept. Make sure you specify that you will be taking an overseas flight because those measurements can differ from domestic flights. You will return with more than you take, so pack a duffel


bag inside your main suitcase. Dirty clothes and such can come back in this while your 'souvenirs' can travel in luxury. You can carry a large purse/camera bag with things in it in case your checked luggage gets lost. Nothing says you have to carry a camera in a camera case! Carry 'real' camera equipment in something that doesn't scream 'expensive stuff inside!' A sturdy bag with appropriate padding for protection is good enough. Think very hard about what camera equipment you must have. Whatever you bring will have to go everywhere with you; you can't leave it unprotected in your room. Unless you are a professional photographer, there is no reason to ruin your trip by trying to carry fifty pounds of equipment around Britain. You will find that a small camera that fits in your pocket or 'purse' is perfectly satisfactory. If you decide to buy a new one, practice with it before you go. Find out what it can and can't do, especially on dark, rainy days. For all the time she spent travelling in the TARDIS, Sarah Jane didn't have much stuff of her own along. You will not have access to the TARDIS closets, and even the Time Lords have not invented a transdimensional suitcase. You probably already realise that you can't bring along your stuffed owl, but what do you really need? Again the operative word is light. One way to decide what you really need is to lay out what you'd normally take and then put half of it back. If you're a real fashion freak, put threequarters of it back. If your name is Romana, put nine-tenths of it back. Pack what's left in your suitcase and walk around the block with it. Carry it up and down some stairs several times. Now ask yourself, 'Do I really need everything that's in there?' Answer honestly. What do you need? Well, the weather in England is about as predictable as the fourth or sixth Doctor. It never gets really cold or really hot, but July does not necessarily mean warm 30   

and the weather in November can be positively balmy. Think layer. You can rinse out lightweight things in your room and hang them up to dry (definitely get a braided elastic clothesline sold in many better department stores with other travel items). Carry a cut-open trash bag or use newspapers to catch the drips and keep from harming the floor. (It's possible to find coin-operated laundromats but not easy). With lightweight things you can layer to your heart's content to be warm when it's cold outside and still not swelter when the weather changes (and it will). Not only can you keep fresh by doing a little hand washing, you can also laugh it off if you get caught in the rain (and you will). Waterproof everything you can slacks, shirts, blouses, ties, jackets, coats, etc. with the sprayon type of water repellent. This not only keeps your clothes cleaner but will keep you more comfortable in the inevitable shower. Pack for a 'pair and a spare.' Two pairs of slacks (yes, you can wear jeans, but slacks will fit into more situations comfortably - like a spur of the moment high tea in Inverness), blouses or shirts (not all T-Shirts!), changes of underwear, socks, and shoes. Women may want to consider oringing a dress for 'special' occasions, but it's not really necessary. Both pairs of shoes should have been tested by you (not the salesperson at the shoe store) for comfortable walking. You can wear sneakers, but sturdy walking shoes are more acceptable. One pair can be for running around Cornwall or climbing the hills of Hastings, while saving the other for eating out and walking the streets of London window shopping. Don't go with only one pair of shoes -your feet will appreciate the change. Bring at least one sweater to pull over your blouse/shirt for warmth. A waterproofed trench coat with a zip in/out lining and hood is handy any time of the year. And, if it's winter or you're going to Scotland or Land's End, thermal underwear can be lifesaver. A small, lightweight, collapsible umbrella 31   

that fits easily in your purse or 'camera case' can also be a real plus. You can buy clothing in Britain, and sometimes you can pick up some wonderful bargains. Check the label, though. You didn't come all the way to Britain to buy things that were made in Taiwan! Supplies If you take any kind of prescribed medicine, bring along a good supply. A 'good supply' will last for twice as long as you plan to stay. Notes from your physician concerning your medication can make life easier. When Custom Officials see medications and medical supplies, they can be touchier than the Empress crew searching for Vraxoin smugglers. Keep your medication in the original containers, carry it with you, and be polite if questioned. Over-the-counter drugs are available in Britain, but if you really have to treat your cold with a multi-purpose pill or liquid, you'd better bring it along too. The cold/cough remedies in England are of the simple, not the complex type. You get your medicine at a 'Chemist's' and they are more than willing to suggest native potions. However, they will ask you very direct questions about your problem. ('Is it a loose, chesty cough or a dry, hacking cough?') so be ready to explain your symptoms. (We have no idea what you might be asked if you complain about diarrhoea.) If you have more than one problem (runny nose and a cough), you will wind up getting something for each. This is when that large purse/camera case comes in handy. Electrical appliances - shavers, curling irons, hair driers, irons, steamers, etc. - one word: don't (unless your country is on the same electrical system as Britain). The British electrical system requires a plug with three pins and an appliance that can handle 240V (American is 120V). Some appliances claim that they are 'dual voltage' but they will still need an adapter because of the plug. This is more bother than it's worth. 32   

Adapters take up space and add unnecessary weight. Go wrinkled, it's the 'in' look. Wash and wear hair styles are possible for anyone and the 'wet' look is in high fashion. If you boil your contacts, however, that's a different situation. It's easier to get a good (expensive) adapter to keep your contacts clean than to have your landlady boil them in her teakettle - or to get new eyeballs. As with medications, if you wear glasses or contacts, it's a good idea to bring along a back-up pair. If you can't do this, get a copy of your prescription and carry it with you. If you are bringing a camera, bring lots of film. Film is more expensive in Britain than in America (we're not sure about other countries), and it's worth the weight and trouble. No matter what you might have been told, believe that all airport X-ray machines will fog your film - exposed or unexposed. While you can carry your film in lead-line pouches (one version for low speed and another for high), it's still always safer to have your film) and your camera if it has a film in it!) 'hand inspected' by airport security. Ask politely, but firmly. (Jean uses a lead pouch and hand inspection.) Keep your film together so you don't have to hunt around for it. Customs will let you bring in most things for your personal use. There is a limit on cigarettes and liquor, but none on money, film or other items that you will personally use. Leave your cat, dog, pet boa constrictor or singing seagull at home: you can't bring in live animals. Check with your country's Custom Department to see how much you can buy in Britain and return without paying duty. (The USA allows $400 if you've been out of the country for more than forty-eight hours). Keep your receipts! In packing toiletries, try to find the small travel sizes. \ Even if you have to bring two of something, it will still be less s than the one 'regular' size, and, as soon as one is used up (or just before you leave to fly home), you can throw it away. Pack aerosol cans and bottles with liquid in them very carefully. Avoid aerosol cans if at all possible; they could 33   

explode in an unpressurized baggage compartment on a plane. Make sure caps are on tighdy or whatever is in your bag will receive a drenching. Put all cans and bottles in a plastic ziptop type bag to be sure. The larger size of these bags is also handy for storing dirty clothes and keeping them separated (in every way) from your clean ones. Throw in a couple of sheets of dryer-type fabric softener to help keep things fresh. The number will vary according to the length of your stay. They can also be used when you find that elusive coin-operated laudromat. You'll find it worthwhile to pack a few first aid items: a small tin of aspirin, some bandages, and some antiseptic. You should also pack some facial tissue (the pocket packages are most convenient) since the toilet paper in many places in Britain (including the trains) is, to say, the least, not 'squeezably soft.' It does, however, make excellent writing paper. At the same time, don't forget your wash cloth (as these are almost non-existent in Britain) and some soap in a plastic case. For amusement on the plane or travelling on the train, you may want to bring a pack of cards, a pocket game of some type, or some reading material you can throw away when you're done. (Not one of your priceless Doctor Who books!) See The Master's Check List for all the items we suggest you do bother bringing. Credit Cards Lots of people love credit cards - thieves, pickpockets, pushy salespeople ('Oh, you won't be billed for months!'). On the other hand, if you're going to rent a car, you will need a credit card to handle the deposit. Otherwise you could be waiting months for the deposit to be returned. Be selective in what you bring and how you use it/them. Don't flash them around, don't leave them in your luggage, and whenever you use one, make sure the exchange rate is written down. This keeps the 34   

shop/hotel/whatever from holding your bill until a more favourable (for them) rate comes along. All bills (unfortunately) come due and have to be paid. If you get home and realise you'll be spending the next several years paying off your debt, your trip will be memorable - but not in the way you planned! We understand Usurians run a special debt collection agency for people who overspend on their vacation. Don't go overboard. Whatever credit cards you leave behind, be sure they are in a safe place - either a safe deposit box or in your family's care. Note the numbers of the credit cards you're carrying and keep them in a safe, separate place (along with a copy of your passport and the numbers of your traveller's cheques.) In case of theft or loss, you can then provide police and the credit card company with the necessary information.


3 You Are Not the Doctor Language The Doctor - thanks to a Time Lord Gift - and his companions never have to worry about what language they're speaking, but British English is not American English. This is a fact for which the sixth Doctor is very grateful. In order to provide the basis for some common communication, here are some (but not all) terms and words that we've run into. Starting with the most important area: British Food Terms Bacon: Thin slices of ham with quite a bit of fat left on. Turns up at breakfast. Don't try to order a BLT. Bangers: A sausage made up of more filling than meat product (don't ask where the meat product comes from!). Not recommended for daily consumption - even if you're Tristan Farnon. As referred to in 'Bangers and Mash', served with mashed potatoes. Biscuits: Cookies - all different kinds. Sometimes called digestive biscuits. May be plain or frosted. A nice gift to bring home to baby brother or sister (if you can keep from eating them on the plane!). Bubble and Squeak: Not a reference to the fleshy Daleks, this is fried cabbage and potatoes. Usually the ingredients have been left over from another meal. Not seen in the better restaurants, but you wouldn't see a Dalek in them either (we hope). 36   

Clotted Cream: A whipped cream taste with a soft butter look and consistency. Don't think about the name, try it on scones or fresh fruit. Cornish Pasties: A fluffy (at best) to soggy (at worst) meat, potato and seasoning filled turnover type pastry. Can be served hot, cold, and/or stale. Crisps: Potato Chips. Buy some to feed the mad ducks at Cambridge. Fillet: A general term for beefsteak, the menu specifies which portion (e.g. sirloin, rump, mignon, etc.). The final 't' is pronounced, not left silent as it is in French. If you want your steak really rare (just this side of twitching), ask for it 'blue'. Remember, 'bloody' is an expletive, not an indication of how done/undone you want your meat (you may want to refer to your meat as 'bloody' if it's cooked too much). French Dressing: In Britain, it's clear and very much like oil and vinegar. Fried Mushrooms: Come cooked in two wildly different styles: either sauteed in butter or dipped in a light batter and deep fried. Consult the chef to see what he has in mind before ordering. Gammon: Ham. Not the acting kind, but the pig kind. Jean always thought that it was a kind of spoiled beef, but she's now tried it and admits that she was wrong. Gateau: A perfectly ordinary French (don't ask us why the British are using it) word for cake. Usually turns up on menus as a very creamy cake with a large dollop of extra cream on top. More than one are gateaux. Ginger beer: Liked by the fourth Doctor and despised by Sarah. This is a spicy kind of ginger ale. Worth a try if only to see who you agree with. High Tea: Don't be fooled, the name has nothing to do with the alcohol content of the drink. This can be regarded as either an overpoweringly filling afternoon 'snack' or a very early supper. It is 'tea' served with meat: either fish and 37   

chips (with the inevitable peas), or eggs and bacon/sausages with chips, or a chicken 'salad' along with a three-tiered tray loaded (separately, on each shelf) with scones, pancakes, and gateaux. Naturally, tea or coffee is also served and the whole concoction costs about £4-5. Kipper: A smoked fish (herring) served at breakfast with all its bones in. Although we're told that you can eat the bones, most visitors pick around them. This is a great way to get yourself rolling in the morning . . . if only to get away from the incredible odour! Lemonade: A carbonated 7 Up or Sprite-like drink. Lemon Squash: Squeezed lemon and sugar in water. Pancake: Forget Perkins Pancake House and Aunt Jemima. Although the ingredients are the same (milk, flour, and eggs grilled on a hot skillet), the British version is about 3A inch thick, served cold and eaten with butter and jam, not syrup (see High Tea). Pate: A meat spread of (usually) undetermined origin. Can be either dry and crumbly or as firm as braunschweiger. Ploughman's Lunch: A good-sized chunk of French bread with accompanying chunks of cheese or pate, relish, and lettuce/tomato slices. You put it together any way you want. Very filling at a cost of less than £1.50. Usually a good deal at a pub. Prawn (also King Prawn): Little and big shrimp by any other name. Very affordable. Laurie suspects that in their native habitat they resemble Tractators, but we didn't look into it too closely. Salad, Chicken: Not to be confused with the sandwich filling mixture. English chicken salad consists of a piece (or pieces) of roast chicken served on a bed of lettuce leaves with a garnish of watercress and sliced tomatoes. Salad, Garden Green: About as prevalent as blue police boxes. If found, bears little resemblance to its American counterpart. Consists primarily of lettuce, cucumber slices, 38   

and tomatoes, although mushrooms and carrot slices have been known to appear. It is possible to find a salad bar but you'll have to look long and hard. If you're lucky, you might even find a dash of macaroni or a coleslaw-type salad but hardly any Krynoids. Scone: A heavy biscuit, usually loaded with raisins. Good in the middle of the afternoon or as a dessert. Commonly served with clotted cream and jam. Shandy: A relatively innocuous mixture of beer and lemonade or ginger beer. Available in pubs and as a canned 'soft drink.' A good thirst quencher with very low alcohol content. Don't be embarrassed about ordering one. Steak and Kidney Pie: A kind of pot pie filled with chunks of beefsteak, potatoes, occasionally vegetables, and (gulp!) real kidneys, all baked in a rich gravy covered by a flaky pastry. If you can forget what's in it, it's not bad.' Tandoori: Indian (Not as in American-Red, although the sauce is that colour) cooking done in a clay oven with a vaguely barbecued flavour. Often part of the name of Indian Restaurants. Toad-In-The-Hole: Not a reference to a particular style of American fandom, this is a sausage cooked in a pop-over dough. White Coffee: Coffee with cream. Other Terms Bathroom: Not where the swimming pool and Sontaran-eating plants are, this is where you take a bath or shower. Do not confuse with 'lavatory' or 'loo.' Boffin: A scientist. The Doctor was, therefore, UNIT's boffin. Boot: The trunk or luggage compartment of a car. Not what we'd like to give Michael Grade. BoxJunction: A traffic intersection. Circus: A traffic circle, as in Piccadilly Circus.


Closet: A small room. What the average person would expect on stepping into the TARDIS. Also the size of sleeping compartments on trains. Demister: A defroster on a car. Elastoplast: A Band Aid. Excuse Me: Not an apology but used as the start of a conversation when you need to ask someone something. As in: 'Excuse me, could you please ask your dog to release my pant's leg?' Flat Battery: A dead battery. Fuggy: Stuffy, airless. Jumper: A lady's sweater. Lavatory: The bathroom or the WC (Water Closet), also known as the ioo.' There don't seem to be any on the TARDIS. Over the Top: Also OTT. Overacting, overdoing things, showing more enthusiasm than is considered proper. British fans' classification of American fans. Panda Car: A police car. Plimsolls: Sneakers: what the fifth Doctor wore on his feet. Ring up: To call on the phone. 'To call' means a visit in person. Saloon: A four door car. Shingle: What you find on the beaches at Brighton and Dungeness. Noisy pebbles. Small rocks. Not the painful rash. Sorry: Not an abject apology, but used to cover general klutzy things like bumping into people. Major klutziness requires abject apologies. Suspenders: What a woman uses to hold up her stockings. Underlinen: Underwear. Widdershins: Counterclockwise. VAT: Value Added Tax. 15,% gets tacked on to almost everything that you buy. Restaurants and hotels are supposed to give the price with this already on. Check to be sure.


Living British There are times when we think fans are the sole support of the telephone system. As a matter of fact, there are times when we think we're the sole support of the American telephone system. Odds are, at some point on your trip, you you too will have to use the telephone. British Telephone System Using the British telephone system is an adventure fully equal to having Duggan as a partner - you never quite know when someone's going to get knocked out. The first thing to realise is that a private telephone in England is not as common as it is in many other countries. Unless you're willing to pay more for your room in a hotel, you will find it's much less costly to use the public phone down the hall than to have the 'privilege' of having a phone in your room. To start off, there are several different types of public phones. (You didn't think this was going to be any easier than figuring out the monetary system, did you?) They all work on the same basic principle (except the ones that take credit cards only!): you pick the phone up, dial the number, and when there's an answer, put in your money. Sound simple? So does 'reversing the polarity of the neutron flow.' What you have to do before you start to dial is to see what coins the phone takes and then make sure you have the correct ones out of your pocket and neatly stacked on the phone box. Some phones take 5 and lOp coins; some take 10 and 20p coins. Either way, have the money ready first then go ahead and dial. (One note about British telephone numbers - don't expect them to make sense. They can be either a six-figure number, an eight-figure number, or even a ten-figure number. In fact there might even be an exchange name instead of a number. Simple - right?) 41   

As soon as you finish dialling the number, grab the first coin from your stack and have it ready to put in the slot. (Not yet! It won't accept it before the call goes through. Just hope it takes it then.) When the phone is answered, you will hear the person at the other end say, 'Hel. .. ' and then the most awful beeping noise will start, completely negating any effort to communicate. This beeping is known as 'the pips.' People who have heard them would like to call them something else. When the pips go off, you have about half-a-second to get your money in the slot (this is when you find out if your phone will accept the money or not). If you don't get your money in the phone in time . . . you'll be disconnected. Once you get your money in, you can talk to the other person (if you haven't been permanently deafened by the pips) but you must immediately get your next coin ready. Why? Because at any second the pips may go off again and you've only got another half-second to feed that hungry monster. To avoid further hassles you can, if you Want, put money in ahead of time but most public phones will not give change. (Any wonder why foreign visitors sometimes come out of phone booths muttering, 'Exterminate!'?) To make things easier, there are some public phones in London that use an LCD to tell you how much 'credit' you have. If you watch the display you can see when you're almost down to 0. According to these phones, it costs 8p to make a 'basic' call within London. Of course the smallest amount you can put in is lOp and, while these phones will give change, it has to be lOp or more. (Welcome to Alice in Wonderland.) If you're calling a British friend (as opposed to a business) your friend will often realise you're at a public booth and will ask for the number to call you back. If you're calling from a public place such as a restaurant, you may be asked by the proprietor to hang up when your friend calls back and you start to talk. We're not sure why, maybe they get some kind of commission on the mqney that's put into the phone. 42   

If you have a phone in your hotel room you may be tempted to call home. Don't do this without checking to see what the hotel charges for overseas calls. While the oversea rate per se may not be exorbitant, many hotels jack up the normal rate with a ridiculously high surcharge. If you're planning on calling home, get a telephone credit card before you leave and use it to 'phone home' from a public box. However, be sure your card is good for overseas calls - some 'discount' ones aren't. One final word, unless it's truly urgent, don't call home, send postcards. They're cheaper, prettier, and a heckuva lot easier to deal with! Houseguesting - Visiting Ol’ Con Buddies and Pen Pals You may know someone in Great Britain - maybe even someone you have actually met in person at a Convention. You may have remarked 'I'm planning on visiting England,' and they may have said, 'Oh, you must stop by while you're over.' Do not take this remark seriously. Do not plan on saving money by camping out with your friend during your entire visit. Make all your plans and your budget as if your friend did not exist. Then contact him/her and mention that you will be coming over and when. You will also mention at this time that you are planning on staying at the XYZ hotel. If your friend is really serious about having you as a guest, he/she will immediately protest and try to persuade you to change your mind and stay with them. On the other hand, if Aunt Mabel and Uncle Harry and their three dogs have just moved in, occupying all the spare sleeping space, your friend will be delighted to visit you and you can tour the town together in comfort and good friendship. There is a saying that after three days fish and house-guests stink. Accept this as true and, even if you are invited, do not overstay your welcome. To be sure that you are welcomed while you are visiting, make your bed, help clear the dinner table and do the dishes. If you make a long distance call from 43   

a friend's house, ask the operator to give you the charges beforehand. The British phone bills do not itemise long distance calls. Offer to pay for local calls as well; your host's bill is calculated on a per call basis. Check on bathing procedures. Sometimes the water must be specially heated for a bath. Yet another thing to consider - and not an unimportant one where your friend lives and what your friend wants to do may not completely mesh with your schedule. London is a big city. Commuting to some of the tourist attractions from the outer areas is not difficult but does take time. And, while you are on vacation, your friend may not be - meaning you might be able to wander around during the day but have to be back 'home' when your friend gets off work. Consider how much of your freedom you want to give up for a 'free' bed. If you do visit a friend while you are in Britain, always phone ahead. If you are invited to dinner, bring or send flowers, wine, champagne, or some token gift. Forgotten Words and Customs While we cannot speak for the fans of all other nations, it is very apparent to us that while American fans have an abundance of energy and enthusiasm, they do not always have an equal quantity of the social graces - also known as manners. No matter where you're from, remember that when visiting Britain you are representing your country. While the Doctor never seems to be concerned with the right way to do things, you should be. Dust off some old words you may have forgotten how to use: Please. Thank you. I'm sorry. Could you help me? Excuse me. Would you mind? 44   

Is it possible? Think of these as phrases that will guide you safely through the Exillon city. Start using them long before you make your trip. (You may even find that life gets easier at home!) Keep your voice down (the British really do not like to listen to other people's conversations), never shout, and insert the magic phrases at every opportunity. Don't say, 'Hey, how do I get to the train station!' Say, 'Excuse me, but could you tell me how to get to the train station from here?' And, after getting the answer, 'Thank you very much.' It is not silly or out of line to be reasonably polite to everyone you meet in the country you are visiting. We have found that just being, as the fourth Doctor observed, 'terribly nice to each other - for a change,' makes your visit much more enjoyable. Don't think the British are cold or inhospitable, though. While they are politely reluctant to break into conversation with strangers, a chance, politely asked question can lead you into a fascinating conversation. It's here that your enthusiastic love of the country will smooth things over. Don't dwell on any unpleasant things you might have experienced, but, if you are asked, expand on the positive. Nothing pleases a native more than realising that foreigners appreciate the virtues of his or her country. Just don't try it with someone on the Underground who's reading a newspaper! The British are just a bit more reserved than Americans. Don't indulge in overly demonstrative gestures - the slap on the back, the arm around the shoulder, the greeting hug (although we know some British folks who really enjoy that, but we're not saying who). On the other hand, it is quite acceptable for porters, newspaper vendors, and bus and train conductors to call a strange person of the opposite sex 'Love (Luv),' 'Duck,' 'Dearie,' or even 'Darling.' Go with the flow, grin and bear it, and enjoy being in Britain. 45   

Always stand when the British National Anthem God Save The Queen is played. (American fans should note: This is not My Country 'Tis of Thee being played in your honour!). You may be greeted with an initial reaction and a guess as to the country of your origin. After that, if the subject drifts round to Doctor Who, you'll find you've provided your new acquaintance with a source of amazement that not only do you, a foreigner, get the show in your country but that you like it. This amazement seems to increase in direct ratio to your age. Don't talk about politics or religion with anyone -especially in a pub. While in a pub, never try to summon the barperson by snapping your fingers or tapping a coin on the bar. Smile politely and you'll get served. Don't try to tip the barman; offer to buy him a drink instead. If you put your feet up on the seat of a railway car, put something under them to keep the seat clean. Your luggage belongs in the luggage storage area of the car, not blocking the aisles or taking up seating space. Queuing is a matter of course in Britain. American fans know it as standing in line at conventions to get autographs. Never jump the queue. The look a Britisher can give you is fully as effective as the Master's matter condensation gun. If you're not sure that there is a queue, ask before jumping to conclusions. You will find that your own enthusiasm is better than any Time Lord gift. Enjoy where you are and what you're doing, and you'll find the people you meet as fascinating as the country.


4 London - Where It All Began There is no Totters Lane - although there are junkyards -and blue police boxes are no more. The Doctor no longer works for UNIT, and the Brig has retired. But there is much of Doctor Who in London, easily enough to keep a fan occupied for a year. Since it's unlikely that you will have a year to spend in London, you may have to choose what you want to do. On Arrival Most planes that fly to England arrive at either Heathrow or Gatwick airports. However, if either airport is fogged in (Gatwick seems to be more apt to have fog problems), you , could land at another airport such as Manchester or Prestwick (Scotland). We'll anticipate an uneventful flight and only discuss Heathrow and Gatwick. Since Doctor Who adventures have taken place and been filmed at both spots, you're on your way to your Doctor Who tour. Heathrow, as the Doctor found out in 'Time-Flight' (Davison, 1982), is a very large airport.' Time-Flight' was one of the very few times permission has been granted to film at Heathrow. One theory had it that someone in the British Airports Authority was a Doctor Who fan! Outside of some open-air shots around the planes, the international terminal is the most recognisable of the sites used. Heathrow itself handles not only many international, but also domestic flights.


There are three major terminals, with overseas flights using Terminal Three. Most flights from America arrive before any of the facilities at the Terminal are open, but if you arrive at a more reasonable hour of the morning, you will find, just after you've cleared customs, an area where you can book hotels (but you've already done that, right?), a bank to change your money (but you've already done that), restrooms (well, we won't tell you what to do about that - did you pack your pocket-tissues?), and a British Rail information counter. If you have a British Rail Pass, you do want to stop here and get your pass validated. If you've already decided that you're travelling with too much stuff, you can leave some of it at the Left Luggage Office in Terminal Three. There is a walkway that will take you from the terminal to the bus departure area. The Al goes to Victoria Station, the A2 goes to Paddington, and the A3 goes to Euston. All three stop at major hotel areas on the way. The cost is about £2.50. These are the famous and familiar red double-decked buses, so sit on top if you can and be prepared to take in your first view of London. There is also an Underground Station at Heathrow in the centre of the airport complex and a moving stairway to take you there. The Underground fare to go to Piccadilly Circus is about £1.50. Even though the buses are about a pound more than the Underground, we'd recommend the bus. The Underground is fast, but you don't get to see anything of London. A taxi ride into London will cost you £14-15. The woods surrounding Heathrow were used in 'The Visitation' (Davison, 1982) and because of the frequency of the incoming flights, scenes had to be done in two minute segments to avoid including the roar of jet engines in what was supposed to be seventeenth-century England. Gatwick is a smaller airport than Heathrow and seems to be used more by the 'budget' airlines - or, in some cases, for budget flights. Gatwick was the location used in the Troughton episodes, 'The Faceless Ones' (1967) and 'Evil of 48   

the Daleks' (1967); so once again your Doctor Who voyage can begin immediately on arrival. In 'The Faceless Ones', the TARDIS materialised on one of the runways (in front of an oncoming jet!) and in 'Evil of the Daleks', the TARDIS - still at the airport - was stolen and driven off in a lorry. In light of these events, airports don't seem to be good places for the Doctor to visit. Hopefully you'll have an easier time of it. Most of the airport scenes were filmed 'round back' in the hangar areas, but they did use the main concourse - right in the middle of a normal weekday! Gatwick has direct train service into London's Victoria station, and you can get your British Rail Pass validated at the airport. Trains leave frequently, and we recommend them. The trip takes about an hour and will bring you into London through East Croydon and across the River Thames. Cost without a British Rail Pass is about £3. Taxi cabs are at the airport and will be glad to take you into town - boy, are they ever glad to take you! Check on the fare before you get in the cab. It should be £18-30. If it's what you want to pay, fine. If not, take the train. If you arrive at Victoria Station, there is a marvellous London Tourist Information shop there with all kinds of maps and books and goodies. Since you're not carrying a ton of luggage (right?), you might want to stop and buy some reading/reference material. Where To Stay In the bibliography you will find many publications that list places to stay. We won't attempt to duplicate their suggestions. One note of caution though, be sure you understand what any publication means by 'moderate' and 'inexpensive.' Jean thinks the American Express pocket guide to London is the greatest thing since the sonic screwdriver for getting around town, but their idea of an 'inexpensive' double room costing $45-$65 is not hers. They do, however, have a classification of 'cheap' which is less than $45. So be sure that you are speaking the 49   

same language as the book you're reading! Also check the copyright date in the book. Prices do go up (seldom down) and a book that's been in print without revisions for two or more years can be mightily misleading. Big Hotels There are many big hotels in London. There is even a Holiday Inn in London. There is a Hilton in London. There are also the famous British big hotels: the Savoy, Claridges, the Ritz. A London big Hotel tends to be expensive -upwards of £90 a night for a single. Now, if you saved your money for your trip to Britain and want to spend it on a hotel room - when there are so many other marvellous things to spend it on, go right ahead. Your Travel Agent will help you find a nice big hotel. Small Hotels There are also many small hotels in London. A small hotel can be just as nice as a big hotel, much more friendly, and half the price. (Although we should note that anywhere you stay in London will cost more than similar facilities outside the town.) A small hotel, even though it is a hotel, might still be offering a real breakfast (as opposed to the 'continental style' rolls and coffee). And small hotels are also located in interesting places. Again, your travel agent will help you find a small hotel. Most small hotels will routinely have bathrooms attached to the sleeping room that you rent, but it never hurts to check this fact out before booking. Bed and Breakfast A B&B place is usually a converted home with very few people staying there at any one time. You usually do not have a bath attached to the bedroom but share a bath with the other residents. However, there are B&B places that have rooms with bath and, even paying for the bath, the price is usually lower than even a small hotel. Check to see exactly what the price includes before deciding where to stay. 50   

Almost every B&B offers a full breakfast - and if you're gallivanting around the country or around London you will need the energy. 'English' breakfasts consist of juice, cereal, eggs, bacon or sausage, toast, fried bread, coffee/tea - and additional goodies that might include kipper, broiled tomatoes and grilled mushrooms. A 'London' breakfast doesn't have the additions - but is quite adequate for fuel for a morning about town. Be warned, you may be on an upper floor of the B&B with no elevator! Frankly, we like B&Bs and stay in them when we're touring the countryside as well as when we're in London (although there we do splurge and get an attached bath). Your travel agent may suggest in a friendly fashion that you do some research and decide what B&B you'd like to try. There are lots of them in London. Check out the location. Try to get one that's close to an Underground Station. If you're coming back late from the theatre, it's nice to have a short walk 'home.' You should also check the area of town where the B&B is located - and the restaurants and such that are nearby. Some parts of London swing all night long, while others settle down. Leicester Square and Piccadilly Circus are noisy locations -which might be just what you want. Each B&B is different. Your landlady may have a strict curfew, or you may be given a key to the front door. Don't be afraid to shop around for exactly what you want. Hostels and Such There are youth hostels and dormitories in Central London -as well as the suburban areas. (A British 'dormitory' is a very large room with lots of beds.) You can make your reservations in advance (six weeks!) by writing to the London Tourist Board. If you should (and we don't recommend it!) happen to arrive in London without any reservations, you can get help finding a place to stay from the Information Centre at Victoria Station. 51   

If you're an adventurous sort, you might want to try camping out - you can do that even in London - on the outskirts, not in Hyde Park. Or if you're going to be travelling with others and staying in London or the country for a full week or more, you might want to check out 'self-catering' . There are apartments that you can rent in weekly intervals, and, for several people, this might be a convenient alternative to a hotel. How to Get Around Underground One of the easiest, quickest, and cheapest ways to get around London is the Underground, or, as it's more familiarly known, the Tube. (Don't call it the Subway: subways are underground pedestrian tunnels used to cross busy streets without having to fight the traffic.) The Underground stops are clearly marked, both on the street and on maps, and you shouldn't have any trouble finding one. There are two ways to buy your ticket once you find the nearest Underground Station. The easiest (once you get the hang of it) is using the ticket machine that has your ultimate destination printed on it, putting in the correct thange, and being prepared to grab the ticket when the machine spits it out at you. Of course this means a little organisation on your part. First, you must (unlike the Doctor) know where you want to go. You must decide which is the closest Tube Station to your destination and know which Underground Line will get you there. London Transport has free maps showing the various lines - all colour coded - and the names of the Tube Stations. The colour coded maps are repeated on the walls in each station so you really know where you're going. They're so simple, even Harry Sullivan could understand them. Once you know where you want to go, scan the row of ticket machines near the entrance of the Tube Station. Each machine has the names of the stations its tickets serve -printed in alphabetical order - on it along with the price of the ticket. The price will vary depending on the distance your destination is 52   

from where you are and can range from 40p to over £1.20 (if you're visiting Sarah Jane in South Croydon). Insert your coins and be ready to grab your ticket and your change (if any) and head for the turnstiles. When you get there, you'll find a slot on your present side of the turnstile rail. Insert your ticket in it and you can go through the stile. Don't leave the stile until you collect your ticket from the side you are now on. Your ticket will magically follow you through and come spitting out from a slot near your hand. Take your ticket along with you. Don't forget and don't lose it! Find the line you need and follow the signs to the platform. You will probably need to know if you're travelling west or east or north or south, so be prepared. There is no smoking allowed in any carriage. Board your train, get off at the station of your destination, and proceed to the exit. Give your ticket to the collector as you leave and you've successfully negotiated the London Underground. To transfer from One Underground Line to another - at a station where the lines intersect, do everything as before except: do not exit the station. Get on the new line, proceed to your destination, and only then exit. The second way of obtaining your ticket is to go to the ticket-seller's booth and tell the person in the cage where you want to go. They will tell you the price, you hand over the money, and they will give you the ticket. Everything else is the same. This sounds easier, but the line to buy tickets can stretch for miles during rush hour. Besides, you're smarter than the machines, right? So prove your superiority! If you are planning to stay in London for any length of time, you might want to purchase a London Explorer Pass. It gives you unlimited travel on the Underground and/or buses and is available for three, four, or seven days. The prices range from £8-13 for adults and £3-5 for children five through fifteen (as of March, 1985). With this, you will also get vouchers for reductions on London Transport Sightseeing and Guided 53   

Tours plus discounts at various museums and shops in London: a bargain to keep in mind. If you buy this before leaving for Britain it also covers Airbus or Underground service to London from Heathrow. Don't think that the London Underground is anything like the New York Subway System. It's neat, well organised, and safe (don't get careless with purses or wallets though). One thing to watch out for - when you are riding a train it may stop in the middle of a tunnel for a minute or so. Don't panic! even if you've forgotten your towel. You probably won't be able to see the sign, since it's placed where only the driver of the train can see it, but the wonderful people who run the Underground have managed to make peace with the Yeti who still roam the area. When your train stops, it's because you have come to a Yeti crossing. Just be patient. As soon as the Yeti has crossed the track, your journey will resume. We can't reveal our source for this top secret information - so you mustn't tell anyone else. But when your train stops in the tunnel, just mutter 'Yeti Crossing' to yourself and be thankful for British diplomacy. You will also notice that some people who are using the Tube are caught in a chronic hysteresis. As you use the escalators to go up or down levels, you will, of course, follow the instructions to stand to the right and walk on the left. You will notice some people who feel a necessity to run and leap on the left. Don't follow their example! Watch them -and you'll find that for all their effort they will wind up catching the same train that you do by not hurrying. The rush hours for the Underground are from 8.30-9.30 am and 4.30-6.30 pm. These are not so much rush as crush: avoid the tube at these times if you can. If you're planning a really late night out, be aware that the underground is closed from midnight until about 6.00 am. There are special Night buses that you can take if you get caught out. 54   

Bus There are many buses in London and they go everywhere. You can get a map from London Transport that shows all the bus routes including connecting information (it also has a map of the Underground). All buses are numbered and it is possible, by using the map, to figure out exactly what bus or buses you need to catch to where. Riding the bus has the advantage of letting you look at London while you're getting somewhere. If you're in a hurry, remember that the bus will take longer than the Tube. Bus stops are marked with a red and white and black bus stop sign if the bus always stops there, or with a red and white sign if you have to signal the driver to stop. Your fare will be based on how far you're travelling and how many fare zones you're crossing. The conductor or conductress will ask where you're going and will then tell you what to pay and will give you a ticket. Hang on to the ticket until you leave the bus - or you might have to pay again. The big red double-decker buses are local London buses. Smokers must use the top deck. These behemoths stop everywhere. The smaller single decker red buses (where smokers sit in the back) stop only at 'main line' stations, providing a sort of express bus service. The green buses go outside London to immediately oudying areas. Feet London is a big city - but it's very dense. You can walk almost anywhere in London and find something fascinating to see. Some of the books in the bibliography detail regular touristtype walking tours. We'll give you some suggested walking tours designed especially for the Doctor Who fan in this section. Remember that traffic will never come from where you expect, so always look both ways before crossing a street. Cross only on a pedestrian crossing. 55   

Pedestrian crossings are either Zebra Crossings or Pelican Crossings. A crossing with slanted white lines painted in the street and equipped with amber flashing lights atop poles on the sidewalks on each side of the street is a zebra crossing. You do not have to be a black and white horse to use one of these. They are crossings for you, the pedestrian, and you have the right of way! All the time - even in rush hour - cars must stop and let you cross safely. That's the theory, anyway. The other type of crossing is known, for no reason that we can determine, as a pelican crossing. It is a crossing that is controlled by a light - and you must obey the light! Use some common sense in deciding when and where you're going to walk. Follow routine city-smart precautions about carrying money, purses, and camera equipment safely. Cabs There is no rule that all cabs in London must be big and black, but most of them are. The drivers are well trained, and, if you stick to one of the big cabs (even if it's not black) that has a meter, you should be fine. You can try to flag down a cab when the yellow 'For Hire' sign on the top is lit. When you get inside the cab, you should see both the meter and a schedule of charges posted behind the driver's seat. If the cab has no meter, you'd probably be better off to get out, or you really could be taken for a ride. The cab drivers know their way around London - but because of the proliferation of streets with the same name, you must be prepared to give the driver a complete postal address (including the British postal-zip-code if he requests it). Up to five passengers can ride in a cab. You will pay extra over the meter reading for each extra person (about 15p) and 5p for each piece of luggage. Travelling at night and on Saturday or Christmas costs more as well. On the whole, the cabs are reasonable by big city standards. If you're homesick for the thrill of an amusement park ride, a cab drive through London will easily take its place. 56   

If you've really bought out the town during your stay and have piles of luggage, you might want to find out what it would cost to take a cab back out to the airport. Where To Go Visiting the Beeb The BBC is not Universal Studio. They do not expect tourists to come bouncing along expecting a tour of the facility. Everyone at the BBC is working every day to produce the top quality programmes that we have grown to know and love. This is not to say that you should not write and ask if you can visit, simply that you should not be disappointed if you are told that tours are not available. You could get lucky. The timing of your request could be just right, or, if you have a group, someone might decide that this would be a worthwhile PR gesture to make (remember that all you are really doing is taking them away from the work that they're being paid to do). Once upon a time there was the BBC photo library. And fans could make arrangements to visit it. And after conquering with kindness the ogre who guarded the library, they could look through albums of Doctor Who photos and buy them (paying a premium price). That situation is no more (at least according to our latest information). It may change again - so you can write to the BBC and ask about visiting the photo library, but once again, don't plan on getting in. If you are writing the Beeb about anything, write at least four months in advance. Their primary goal in life is not necessarily answering your letter, so give them plenty of time to respond. Commercial Tours There are very reasonably priced commercial tours of London offered by highly competent people - Evans Evans, American Express, Thomas Cook, Frames and Harrods - to name a few. You might consider it worth the time to take a half day or a day to go round on one of these offerings. It at least lets you 57   

be sure that when you get back you will have seen (albeit very quickly) the things most people expect a tourist in London to have seen. The London Transport authority offers a two hour tour of London on a double decker bus. This is not a guided tour. You can pick up a free printed map/guide before boarding the bus. Basically what happens is that you get to sit on the bus and look at things as the bus whizzes around London. This can be especially interesting if the top is uncovered and it's raining. If you're very good at reading maps and absolutely abhor having someone tell you what you're looking at, you might find this type of tour your cup of tea. These tours leave from Piccadilly Circus, Victoria (Grosvenor Gardens), and Marble Arch. London Transport also has several different guided tours. A number of organisations offer an opportunity to see London from the Thames river. Their boats are considerably larger than the one the Doctor took out in 'The Talons of Weng-Chiang', and you won't be attacked by any giant rats. You can take luncheon tours, dinner tours, and just tour tours. Some phone numbers are listed in the bibliography. Walking Tours Several groups offer professionally organised walking tours of London. While not oriented to Doctor Who, some of thesubject matter might be of interest to DW fans. There are tours of Hidden London, Legal and Illegal London, Pub Walks, Sherlock Holmes, ghosts, etc. Some groups will also organise special tours for people with special interests. If there are several of you, you might want to check this out (see the bibliography for listings). Special Doctor Who Places The two London places referred to in 'An Unearthly Child' (Hartnell, 1963), Totters Lane and Coal Hill School, don't exist, even though the sixth Doctor and Peri returned to Totters Lane in 'Attack of the Cybermen' (1985). But. . . 58   

The following are some of the DW locations in London that you might like to visit. While the itinerary is laid out as a walking tour, remember that you can always take the Underground, buses, or even taxis from one spot to the other. While the Doctor was stranded here on Earth during the UNIT years, we're sure that,he took the time to see London properly. There are some things indicated on the walking tour that are not 'strictly Doctor Who, but you might want to stop and look at them anyway. Just remember, if you do stop, the tour will take much longer than you can do at one time. Any stops (for browsing, diversions into shops and museums, etc.) will add that much more time to each tour. You could end up taking weeks to do these suggestions in style! We've indicated Underground connections wherever applicable, so you can stop at any time and restart later. We do suggest that you have a clear map of London along with you. Tour One Start at the Underground stop at High Street Kensington (District and Circle Lines). Walk east on Kensington High Street. On your right will be the K-Mart of Britain, Marks and Spencer, along with the British Home Stores, Barkers (another department store), and the Kensington Market for fashions old and new. Across the street from the Kensington Market is the Antique Hypermarket featuring Victorian jewellery, eighteenth- and nineteenth-century silver, china and porcelain. Browse if you like, and then continue east to Kensington Road. Kensington Gardens will be on your left. This is where the chase scene in ' The Mind of Evil' (Pertwee, 1971) was filmed. To see Kensington Palace itself, turn left at Palace Green. Walk on down Kensington Road to Queens Gate and turn into the gardens. Turn right on the next path and walk down to the Albert Memorial 'The Dalek Invasion of Earth', (Hartnell, 1964). 59   

You are not required - by us anyway - to admire the Albert Memorial. Look on it as a true bit of uninspired art. It was built in the 1870s at the 'express wish' of Queen Victoria as a memorial to her husband, the Prince Consort, Albert. The sculptor apparently did not share the Queen's feelings for Albert. The bronze figure in the centre is supposed to be Albert. He's holding the catalogue of the Great Exhibition that he organised in Hyde Park. For some reason that escapes us, the fifth Doctor was trying to get to that particular event at the beginning of 'Time-Flight' (Davison, 1982). Across from the Memorial is the Albert Hall. Although normally used as a concert hall, it seats up to 8,500 people and can be converted to hold boxing matches, conferences, displays, and dances. It has never been used for a Doctor Who convention. In the late summer and early autumn the famous Promenade Concerts are held here. If the building looks bigj^t is - almost !4 of a.mile around. Just to the west of Albert Hall is the Royal College of Art and the Royal College of Organists. The Royal Geographical Society is on the east side of the Hall. Walk past the Memorial and turn right on Exhibition Road. As you walk down Exhibition Road, you will see the Science Museum on your right. The Science Museum is devoted to technological firsts and has lots of working models. (None, we're sad to report, of a working TARDIS. Darn.) It's a great place to visit for those who, like the third Doctor, are gadgetminded. Items are clustered within the seven acres of exhibition by subject. You might want to look at 'time' on the first floor, or shapes in the form of mathematical models on the second floor (you might find a working model of the Dodecahedron!). Space exploration, photography and cinematography are featured on the third floor, and the fourth and fifth are devoted to medical history. At the corner of Exhibition and Cromwell Road are two museums - the Victoria and Albert, and the Natural History Museum. They are both well worth visiting. 60   

On your right is the Natural History Museum. Stepping into the entry hall, you will immediately be surrounded by the skeletons of huge dinosaurs. There's a discussion of their evolution and disappearance - but no credit (or discredit) is given to Adric! The Victoria and Albert Museum, on the left, is a very casual, relaxed museum. Devoted to the decorative arts, its arrangement of rooms rivals that of the TARDIS, with seven miles of galleries and corridors that wind around and about. Besides collections of art and furniture, there are also magnificent displays of glass, textiles, ironwork, ceramics, and jewellery (is that a Time ring in the third case on the left?). There are three refreshment rooms inside if you're hungry or thirsty. (Underground: Gloucester Road -Piccadilly, Circle and District Lines). Cromwell Road merges with Brampton Road at the Oratory. Take a quick trip down Beauchamp Place for some fascinating stores - if you're in the mood for shopping. Continue on Brampton Road to Harrods Department Store for some real shopping. Harrods claims that they can get you anything from a safety pin to an elephant. Don't quite believe it - they couldn't get us a TARDIS! Inside Harrods - along with everything else - is a Tourist Information Office. (Underground: Knightsbridge Piccadilly Line). Continue on and turn right (east) on Knightsbridge. To your left is Hyde Park, and if you continue on Knightsbridge you will come to Hyde Park Corner. Hyde Park was seen in 'The Dalek Invasion of Earth'. Speaker's Corner, where Britons and others exercise their right of free speech, is direcdy north of you - take Park Lane or walk through the park. (Underground: Hyde Park Corner - Piccadilly Line). Straight ahead at Hyde Park Corner is Apsley House, the Wellington Museum. The museum, which is open to the public, is a tribute to the Duke of Wellington - who defeated Napoleon at Waterloo. In 'The Reign of Terror' (Hartnell, 61   

1964) Barbara and Ian saw the young general at the start of his career, and the third Doctor claimed in 'The Sea Devils' that he had coached him in battle techniques. Walk through the Wellington Arch on Constitution Hill and you will walk between Green Park and Buckingham Palace Gardens and come to the Palace itself. We don't know if the Doctor ever visited the Palace (although he has claimed to have met many of the Royal family from time to time), but the chances are unlikely that you will be asked to drop in. If the royal standard is flying, then the Queen is home. To watch the ceremonial Changing of the Guard, be sure to be here by 11.30 am - earlier if you want to get a good viewing position. The Guards' uniform, while basically the same - great bearskin, scarlet tunic, and dark blue trousers uses plumes and button placement to distinguish between the five regiments. The Grenadiers have a white plume and evenly spaced buttons, the Coldstreams, a scarlet plume and paired buttons, the Scots have no plume (poor guys) and buttons by threes, the Irish have a blue plume and buttons by four, and the Welsh have a green and white plume and buttons by fives. Fans w,ho can tell exactly how many scarves Tom Baker ran through during his seven years as the Doctor can go for the button means of identification; all others try for plumes. Go around the Palace on Buckingham Gate and you will come to the Royal Mews where the Queen's carriages are kept. If they are not being used, you can see them, including The Gold State Coach. Just before the Mews is the Queens Gallery, containing the Royal collection of art. It is also open to the public. (Underground: Victoria - Circle, Victoria and District Lines). Return to the front of the Palace and walk by the back of the Queen Victoria Monument and down the Mall. On your left will be St James Palace, once the home of the British Monarchy. Ambassadors from foreign countries still report to the Court of St James. Walk straight on through Admiralty Arch and you will enter Trafalgar Square. The chances for 62   

seeing any stray Daleks prowling around (' The Dalek Invasion of Earth') are slight. Trust us. The Nelson Memorial, in the centre of the square, usually has at least a million pigeons surrounding it - however, you can escape without feeding them - we think. During High Season, there are - it seems - at least another million tourists competing with the pigeons. Don't feed them, either. Just for perspective: the statue of Nelson on the top of the Memorial is slightly more than seventeen feet high. On the north side of the square are the National Gallery and the National Portrait Gallery, both homes for some of the finest art in the world. The National Portrait Gallery features portraits (surprise!) - and you will quickly recognise some familiar faces of Kings and Queens and other folks you've studied in history. Also in the square is a monument to Charles I. It overlooks his execution site and is the precise point from which mileages to and from London are calculated. (Underground: Charing Cross - Bakerloo, Northern, Jubilee Lines). Leaving Trafalgar Square and going south on Whitehall you will pass assorted government buildings and the Horse Guards. The two guards and their horses change shift every hour, but must remain immobile until then. 11.00 am is the time of the ceremonial mounting of the Guards. You should recognise Big Ben (the big tower with the clock on top) as you are walking down Whitehall, but note also that you will be passing Downing Street. Number 10 houses the Prime Minister of Great Britain. The election of Margaret Thatcher was predicted in 'Terror of the Zygons'(T. Baker 1975). Coming up on the corner of Whitehall and Westminster Bridge Street, you are at Big Ben, and, behind it, the Houses of Parliament ('Terror of the Zygons'). Tours can be booked for the Houses of Parliament, but don't expect to see the Zygons or the Skarasen swimming down the Thames. We don't suggest that you try swimming down the Thames either, 63   

but the view is better from the river side - try a boat trip. You can also walk out on Westminster Bridge and look at the view. This is one of the bridges the Daleks roamed in 'The Dalek Invasion of Earth.' Westminster Abbey - perhaps one of the most famous churches in the world - is to your right. The Abbey has stood since 1066 and contains much that is beloved and beautiful of Britain. Tombs and shrines of Kings and Queens, of brave men, of Lords and Ladies, and of poets can be found under its roof as well as the sacred stone of Scotland, the Stone of Scone, where Scottish Kings were crowned. It is still used in the coronation ceremony to this day. (Underground: Westminster - Circle and District Lines). Leave this historic area by walking down Victoria Embankment (' The Dalek Invasion of Earth' and ' The Invasion' (Troughton, 1968)). You can collapse on the Underground at the Embankment (Circle, District, Northern and Bakerloo Lines), or, with your last reserves of strength, stroll on to Waterloo Bridge. Look across the Thames to see the National Theatre which provided some exteriors for 'Frontier in Space' (Pertwee, 1973). Walk back to the Embankment Underground. Tour Two Take the Underground to Covent Garden (Piccadilly Line) and go south on James Street to Covent Garden Market. Or (since the Covent Garden stop tends to get very crowded), go to Leicester Square (Piccadilly and Northern Lines) and walk east on Cranbourn Street to Long Acre and then south on James Street. While on Long Acre you might want to browse in the bookstores. We recommend the Arts Council Bookshop (8-9) and Stanfords (12-14). Covent Garden used to be the main fruit, flower and vegetable market of London but has now been replaced with shops and boutiques, and the smell of rotten cabbage is no more. The site was used in 'The Web of Fear' (Troughton, 1968) and, while you won't see any Yeti shopping here, you will find that the deliberately cultivated 64   

eighteenth century atmosphere allows you an opportunity to step back in time even without a TARDIS. The London Transport Museum is now housed in the old Flower Market Building. This fascinating museum tells the story of London through its vehicles - all kinds, from the earliest dates of transport in the city. By the time of this book's publication, there should be a Theatre Museum here as well. Across the street the Jubilee Market - which does not cultivate an eighteenth century atmosphere - is a flea market on Mondays, a Craft Centre on Saturday and Sunday and specialises in fresh fruit at other times. Leave Covent Garden on Russell Street (on the east side of the Garden complex), and turn right on Wellington Street. Walk down to the Strand and turn left-. As you walk down the Strand on your right will be Somerset House. This is where you used to go for all the records of births, deaths and marriages. It's now the home for some government offices and only occasionally, when there's a special exhibition, can visitors see it. Continue along the Strand and you will see a lovely church on an island in the middle of the road. This is St Clement Danes and was built originally in 1682 by Sir Christopher Wren. It was totally destroyed by a bomb in 1941 and has been carefully restored. This church has achieved immortality of a sort through the nursery rhyme as a tithe was paid to the church for the oranges and lemons that were brought up the Thames for sale at Glare Market. Just past St Clement Danes, the Strand becomes Fleet Street. Since Sarah Jane Smith was a journalist, we can assume that she worked for one of the newspapers that operate from this area. Alas, only two today are actually on Fleet Street: look for The Daily Telegraph and The Daily Express buildings. Just as you enter Fleet Street, you will see the Temple on your right. While the Doctor never had an enjoyable experience with a lawyer 'The Highlanders' (Troughton, 1966), you may want to look at their primary abode here in 65   

London. Had Colin Baker, the sixth Doctor, not decided to go into acting, he might be working here. Visitors can walk into the Temple and look around without having to pay a retainer to anyone. The place got its name from its original builders, the Knights Templar, who furthered the Christian cause during the Crusades. 'The Crusades' (Hartnell, 1965). Along the way on Fleet Street are two famous seventeenthcentury pubs, the Old Cock Tavern (a well-known hangout for journalists) and the Cheshire Cheese, home away from home for Samuel Johnson. Coming to Ludgate CircUs, you can take a quick detour down New Bridge Street to the Thames and Blackfriars Bridge 'The Invasion'. Come back to Ludgate Circus and turn right. Crossing Ludgate Circus, Fleet Street becomes Ludgate Hill - and ahead you will see the famous dome of St Paul's Cathedral. It was in front of this London landmark that the Cybermen walked in the classic scene in 'The Invasion'. St Paul's was rebuilt by Sir Christopher Wren after it was destroyed in the Great Fire of 1666 (and we know who to blame for that, don't we!). It is as inspiring today as it was then. Guided tours of the church are available, and there is a booth inside selling literature as well as souvenirs. This is still a house of worship, and there are services in the cathedral. If you're up to climbing to the dome, you can test the acoustics in the Whispering Gallery (don't shout!). Only 542 steps further up, you can look at the view from the Golden Gallery. Be warned: this is not a climb for someone with little head for heights! We don't think Sarah Jane would have enjoyed it at all. (Underground: St Pauls - Central Line). Leave St Paul's and walk east along St Paul's Churchyard to Cannon Street and then continue east along Cannon Street. At the intersection of Cannon Street and Victoria Street you will find Mansion House, the home of the Lord Mayor of London – a home equipped with its own court and dungeons! 66   

Continue along Cannon Street and as it intersects with King William Street you will find the Monument to the Great Fire (sound familiar?). The column itself is 202 feet high and stands 202 feet from the baker's shop in Pudding Lane where the Great Fire started in 1666 and where the Terileptils in 'The Visitation' were based. You can climb to the top and get a view of present day London. (Underground: Monument Circle, District Lines). Walk down Monument Street to Thames (passing the (now moved) Billingsgate Fish Market and Customs House on your left), and you will see the Tower of London ahead of you. The Tower did appear in a trailer for 'Day of the Daleks' (Pertwee, 1972), with the Daleks running around it, but this scene was not part of the episode. And the Doctor revealed in 'The Sensorites' (Hartnell, 1964) that he had been imprisoned in the Tower by none other than King Henry VIII! If your trip doesn't include a stopover in China, there is a display of Chinese armour from the time of Genghis Khan. The Doctor would have seen this on his travels with Marco Polo (Hartnell, 1964). There are many other fascinating displays in the Tower such as the Crown Jewels and the armouries. In the Toura-ment Galleries notice the armour made especially for jousting 'The King's Demons' (Davison, 1983). In fact, each tower within the Tower has its own tragic history. While you're there, look for the ravens on the lawns - legend says that if the ravens leave the Tower, England will fall. Don't frighten the ravens. You can take a guided tour, or buy a guide book and devise your own. Allow enough time to see what you want to see there's a lot here. (Underground: Tower Hill - Circle, District Lines). Leaving the Tower, walk down Tower Bridge approach and out on the Bridge. If you have a head for heights, try the walk along the top of the towers! Looking across the Thames you can see the London Dock area where 'Resurrection of the Daleks' (Davison, 1984) was filmed. Over to the left of the 67   

bridge is Wapping, as delightfully tacky today as it was in 'Talons of Weng-Chiang' (T. Baker, 1977). Also over here is the area known as St Katherine's Dock - part of 'Carnival of Monsters' (Pertwee, 1973) was filmed here. A Doctor Who speciality store is located in Wapping, we suggest you call a) for directions and b) to make sure they're still in business before going down into the area. Crossing Tower Bridge and turning right on Tooley Street, you will come to a sight to warm the cockles of the Master's hearts - the London Dungeon. A recreation of blood and gore, it is not for the faint-hearted! If you manage to make it past the London Dungeon you will see Southwark Cathedral and London Bridge. Not the one of falling down fame: that one's been sold to an American and rebuilt in Arizona. (Underground: London Bridge - Northern Line). Tour Three Take the Tube to Leicester Square (Northern, Piccadilly Lines) and walk north on Charing Cross Road. This road is peppered with bookstores, and rumour has it that Tom Baker bought some of his dictionaries here. Stop and browse as you please, and be sure to check out Foyles. Often called the largest bookstore in the world, it has a marvellous bargain basement. If your reading interests extend beyond Doctor Who, you may need an extra bag just to carry the books home! Foyles may be the largest, but it has very, very litde in the way of Doctor Who books. To find the main Doctor Who book stockists in this area, turn right on Denmark Street, just before St Giles Circus and go around the block to Forbidden Planet Two for a store that really specialises in DWmerchanise. If you overindulge and your purchases are weighing you down, there is an Underground nearby, Tottenham Court Road (Central, Northern Lines). Continue north through St Giles Circus as Charing Cross becomes Tottenham Court Road and turn right on Great Russell Street. Walk about two blocks down to the British 68   

Museum. Although we know that you will want to visit everything here, we'd like to call your attention to the exhibits on Greece (' The Myth Makers - Hartnell, 1965), Rome ('The Romans' - Hartnell, 1965), and Egypt {'Pyramids of Mars' - T. Baker 1965). To see them, just turn left in the Entrance Hall. (Unless things have changed, have your camera ready, you are allowed to take photographs here!). The first several rooms are devoted to Greek and Roman history. To see something of Roman life, visit rooms fourteen and fifteen on this floor and sixty-nine and seventy on the upper level. Take in the Egyptian display (on both the lower and upper levels), including the Rosetta Stone. See what real mummies look like in rooms sixty and sixty-one. Don't miss the canopic jars that look amazingly like the ones Sutekh used to place a barrier around Scarman's house and grounds. Unfortunately, while there isn't a full-size pyramid here, you can marvel at the statues in room twenty-five. The upper floor has wonderful representations of the Middle Ages and the Renaissance ('Masque of Mandragora' - T. Baker, 1976, "The Massacre' - Hartnell, 1966, 'Reign of Terror'- Hartnell, 1964, 'The Crusades' - Hartnell, 1965). In room thirty on the ground floor east, you will be able to see the Magna Carta {'The King's Demons' - Davison, 1983). Prehistoric antiquities {'An Unearthly Child' - Hartnell, 1963) can be found in the upper level in rooms thirty-five to forty. If you don't have a good guide book with you, you can buy one at the bookstore in the front - along with some classy souvenirs. When you leave the Museum, walk back down Russell Square to Tottenham Court Road and turn right. Walk north on Tottenham Court Road to Goodge Street and turn left. Go down Goodge Street to Whitfield Street and turn right there. One block down at 1, Scala Street is Pollock's Toy Museum and Shop. We don't know if the Celestial Toymaker ever visited here, but it would certainly have delighted him as 69   

much as it did us. (Underground: Goodge Street - Northern Line). On leaving the Toy Museum, continue north on Whitfield Street to Howland Street and turn left. Continue to Cleveland Street and turn right. You are at the Post Office Tower 'The War Machine' (Hartnell, 1966). This is where our friends found Professor Brett and WOTAN. You used to be able to go up in the viewing tower and even eat in a restaurant there, but that is no more. The tower with mast is 620 feet high and was once the tallest building in Britain. Alas, that is no more either. Such are the joys of modern technology. We wonder if WOTAN would have approved . . . Turn right on Maple Street and walk by the Post Office Tower to Fitzroy Street and turn left. A block up the street you will arrive at Fitzroy Square. The square is a paved pedestrian precinct and is where the TARDIS materialised in 'The War Machines'. It was begun in 1893 but not completed until forty years later. Continue on Fitzroy Street to Euston Road and turn left. (Underground: Great Portland Street - Circle, Metropolitan Lines). Walk along Euston Road and turn left on Park Crescent (Underground: Regent's Park - Bakerloo Line). Turning off Park Crescent on Portland Place will enable you to walk down to the BBC Broadcasting House just where Portland' Place turns into Langham Place. This is the headquarters of the BBC, but not where Doctor Who is filmed. At nearby All Souls Church the BBC Sunday morning service is carried live. Langham Place becomes Regent Street as you walk south. You can catch the Underground at Oxford Circus (Central, Victoria, and Bakerloo Lines) or continue along Regent Street to enjoy the shops. By cutting over on Great Marlborough Street you can gape at the incredible tackiness of Carnaby Street (yeah, yeah yeah!). Regent Street merges into Piccadilly Circus - look for the famous statue of Eros. (Underground: Piccadilly Circus - Bakerloo, Piccadilly Lines). Staying on Park Crescent and going west to Marylebone Road, you will come to Madame Tussaud's famous Wax 70   

Museum. As of 1985 the fourth Doctor was still on display here, but Meglos and several other models are in cold storage at the Wookey Hole (see the next chapter). There is also a planetarium and a laserium for your entertainment. (Underground: Baker Street (no, we are not making this up) Circle, Metropolitan, Jubilee, and Bakerloo Lines). Leave Madame Tussauds and continue on Marylebone Road to Marylebone station where the 'virus' scenes for 'The Silurians' (Pertwee, 1970) were filmed. (Underground: Marylebone - Bakerloo Line). Tour Four Take the underground to Hammersmith (District, Piccadilly Lines) and walk down Hammersmith Bridge Road to Hammersmith Bridge. The bridge was used in 'The Dalek Invasion of Earth'. In the area are the Hammersmith Swimming Baths used as the 'bathroom' in 'The Invasion of Time' (T. Baker, 1978). We don't recommend that you take the time to go swimming; besides, we guarantee you won't run into Leela. Go back to the Hammersmith stop. Take the Underground to Kew Gardens (District Line). The Doctor and Peri never made it 'The Mark of the Rani' (C. Baker, 1985), but you can. When you get off the Underground, walk down Lichfield Road to Victoria Gate. The Gardens are the official British Botanical Gardens. Besides the thousands of plants that grow here, (and some that don't - Janis thorns in particular!) you might want to visit the Kew Palace (also known as the Dutch House). King George III stayed here when he was mad. He may have been mad because his Queen, Charlotte, stayed in the Queen's Cottage (although she died in the Dutch House), as did Queen Victoria. You can also see the Chinese Pagoda and a gateway that is a copy of a gate in the Nishi-Honganji temple in Kyoto, Japan.


Tour Five Take the Underground to White City (Central Line) and walk south along Wood Lane. You will see a very large, modern building on your right - it's curved like a question mark without the period. This is the BBC Television Centre, and Doctor Who does its studio work here (when it's doing studio work, that is.) It's not open to the public; there are no guided tours, this is a working studio! But there is, however, a very interesting shop outside the Television Centre that sells BBC related things, and it might be worth a visit to see what they've got. Some videotapes are sold here, but before buying, check to see that the format matches your country's standard! Tour Six Greenwich has been called the 'home of time' and the pedestrian subway under the Thames is where parts of ' The Web of Fear' were filmed. To get there take a river boat from Westminster or Tower Bridge to Greenwich pier, or take the train from Charing Cross, Waterloo or Cannon Street to Maize Hill. You can take a bus, but it's an hour trip as opposed to ten minutes by train. If you arrive at the train station, leave the station and turn left on High Road. Keep on as High Road becomes Church Street and you will arrive at Greenwich Pier. If you've taken the boat, you're already at the Pier. The entrance to the subway under the Thames is to the left of the pier, behind the Tourist Information Booth. The subway itself leads to the Isle of Dogs (don't look for K9) and you will get a magnificent view of Greenwich. Admission is free to the Royal Naval College (closed on Thursdays) and the National Maritime Museum (closed on Mondays). While in town you can also visit the Royal Observatory and stand with one foot in an east longitude and one in a west. If the Doctor ever has to get his times straightened out, this is where he'll go. 'In port' at Greenwich and open for visitors are the Cutty Sark, launched in 1869 and once the fastest clipper ship in the world 72   

and the Gypsy Moth, used by Sir Francis Chichester in 196667 to sail around the world. Tour Seven Hampstead Heath 'The Seeds of Death' (Troughton, 1969) is well worth visiting on a balmy afternoon. On holiday Mondays at Easter, Spring and Autumn, there are also daylong fairs, so get up early to see all the fun. Take the tube to Hampstead (Northern Line). Walk north on Heath Street to Spaniards Road. The pond nearby is Whitestone Pond, and you are now standing at 437 feet, London's highest ground. On a clear day you can see all of London as well as the Surrey Hills! Bring your model boat and sail it in the Leg O' Mutton Pond, or watch the kite and model airplane flying. There are open-air concerts in the summer at Kenwood House, and nearby is the summerhouse where Dr Johnson (of dictionary fame) stayed. There is a restaurant and cafeteria in Kenwood House, or you can bring a picnic lunch. (Remember - don't litterf). If you're really hardy, you can also go swimming. As you walk around the woods, just keep repeating, 'There are no Ice Warriors, there are no Ice Warriors . . . ' When the show did film here, Terrance Dicks lived nearby -a real case of bringing your work home! Tour Eight It's time for another picnic, as you look at the Battersea Power Station 'The Dalek Invasion of Earth'. This Power Station was used as part of the Dalek's invasion force's complex and was the site where Susan and her future husband, David Campbell, blew up the Dalek's radio network. Take the Underground - Circle or District Lines - to Sloane Square Station and walk south on Chelsea Bridge Road. Cross the Thames on Chelsea Bridge and you will be entering the Battersea area. The Power Station is off to your left across the railroad tracks. Walk down Park Gate Road to Battersea Park 73   

for your picnic. You can also rent a boat and go boating on the lake while you're in the park. You can probably get a better view of the whole complex from the river on one of the many boat trips offered. Ask your tour guide to point it out to you he'll think you're crazy, but Who cares? What Else To Do Theatre The theatre in London is more expensive than it once was (watch the year on any guide book to London you buy or borrow!), but its prices do not begin to reach the astronomical levels of New York City. The last time we were in London, we were able to get good seats for £12 (about $16 at that time). Similar seats in a New York Theatre would have cost at least $50. The really cheap seats (in the gallery or balcony) are usually sold only on the actual day of the performance, and you have to go to the theatre and queue up to get them. Since gallery seats are not reserved, you then have to be back at the theatre in good time to queue up again to get a good seat. There's a discount ticket location in Leicester Square where you can buy tickets for reserved seats the day of the performance at half-price plus a nominal service charge. Naturally, tickets for the big hits are not available here. If you want to see one of these shows, buy your tickets through your travel agent before coming over. If you do go to the theatre, remember that the custom is to eat a leisurely meal after the performance, but watch out: the Underground closes at midnight! Along with West End productions, London boasts of many fringe productions (the equivalent of the American 'OffBroadway'). Well-done,, but sometimes truly weird, they can be a memorable theatrical experience. If you are going to the theatre, you can wear anything from casual to dressy, as long as it's neat and clean. 74   

Cinema Movies, as we observed, are just as expensive in London as anywhere else, especially on a first run. Unless it's something really unique, we'd suggest that you can find something more interesting to do in London than sit in a movie theatre eating popcorn. Nightlife There are marvellous music halls (' The Talons of WengChiang') and other variety shows in London. Many of the music halls offer you a chance to have an all-inclusive evening with dinner and entertainment. Not truly a music hall, but 'variety entertainment', are the 'medieval banquets'. There are a number of these running at any time, and going to one can make for an interesting evening. Be aware, though, that if you are really knowledgeable about the Middle'" Ages - or are active in the Society For Creative Anachronism - you will be disappointed. (At least we were the last several times we attended a 'medieval' banquet.) But if you're not too picky and don't really mind using eating utensils that did not exist at the time, you're probably in for a treat. There are nightclubs in London, but we confess that we've never been to one. Most are erstwhile 'clubs' and you actually become a member of the 'club' for the evening. Most nightclubs offer a dinner (expensive), a show (sometimes very risque") and dancing until very late. We've always had other things we wanted to do in an evening - and usually something scheduled early the next morning to get up for. There are, of course, discos throughout London. The number varies, as they tend to be a bit ephemeral. Check out what's popular before you go. If you're lucky, you might catch a performing group on their way up! Some of the 'clubs' and discos have unique dress codes. If you're not wearing what they feel is 'in' you won't be admitted. Check before going. 75   

Who's Appearing Where Obviously all of the foregoing information can be found in almost any regular guidebook. Why then should Doctor Who fans be interested. Because over the years many fine actors and actresses who have appeared in the show left to do other things. Those 'other things' include appearing in various shows in London and in theatres and variety shows in other parts of Britain. Now we're not suggesting that the whole purpose of your trip to Britain was to see one of your 'favourites' perform, but if they are, you certainly wouldn't want to miss them! This is where you put on your deerstalker hat and put aside your violin. How do you find out who (maybe he is) appearing where? One way is to join the British Doctor Who Appreciation Society. In-their monthly newsletter, they try to keep their members aware of what's going on in the careers of DWactors and actresses. If one or more persons really interest you, most likely there's a fan club for that special someone. One of the purposes of a fan club is to keep its members informed about what its 'special someone' is doing. You might consider joining - or at least writing to the club to find out what they know. Yet another source, after you arrive, is to get a copy of What's On and Where To Go, Time Out or a copy of the Standard at a newstand. You'll have to spend some time poring through the listings, but it could prove very worthwhile. If you do attend the performance of someone you admire, it is quite permissible to send flowers or chocolates or champagne (depending on your budget) to the admiree. You may, of course, also attach a note explaining who you are and why you are attending this show in particular. Do not expect that this will guarantee you a meeting with the admiree, nor that you will receive an acknowledgement. Nevertheless, British actors and actresses have been known to be most kind to people who have travelled distances and have shown some 76   

interest in their career beyond Doctor Who. Just don't count on it! Where to Eat There are probably more restaurants per square inch in London than in almost any other city in the world - certainly there are more restaurants of different kinds! Suggestion: take whatever books you've bought (or borrowed from your library) and read through the restaurant section. If there is something that particularly appeals to you, make a note of it. If you know where you'll be staying in London, find out what restaurants are close by and what their prices are. We find that the old tales about the quality of British cooking are simply that - old tales. When we ate in British restaurants, we found the food good and well prepared. We can't say that it was awfully exciting. For exciting food, even on a budget, try an ethnic restaurant. They're common in almost every town and on almost every block in London. For instance, try some Indian food! The waiters will be glad to explain the menu, and the food is filling and very inexpensive. Be warned, though, Indian 'hot' would fuel a Thai rocketship. You want exciting, not explosive. Start out with 'mild'. Chinese restaurants are more prolific than tribbles and great on the tummy and the budget. There are also African, American, Greek, Hungarian, Indonesian, Italian, Japanese, Jewish, Pakistani, Russian, Thai, Turkish (burp), and probably ten or twenty we've missed. Live a little! Any of it will be better than the sixth Doctor's cooking, and far more nutritious than the fourth Doctor's jelly babies. While you're gallivanting around town, you might also want to try a lunch or two at a pub. Get there early, and you'll find that you can have a good lunch for less than £2! Pubs do have limited hours though. They're usually open from 11-3 and 5.30-11.00 pm Monday through Saturday and noon-2 and 710.30 on Sunday. No children are allowed in a pub. 77   

For snacks, quick lunches, picnic supplies and pick-me-ups, there are small grocery stores all over London. If you're in Bed and Breakfast accommodation, it's no problem if you nibble in your room - as long as you are neat and put things away. Most small hotels and B&B places will provide you with your own kettle for boiling water and even an initial supply of tea and coffee. If it's a nice day, buy bread and cheese and picnic in the park! Emergencies Earlier in the book we discussed how to use the telephone. In the appendix are some important numbers that we hope you don't have to call. If it is a real emergency, dial 999 to get the police. Shopping the Doctor Who Way Surprisingly, it is almost as difficult to find DW merchandise in Britain as it is in America (unless you go to an American Convention). Somehow, one expects to find DW magazines and books at every newstand - Ha!. It's all very discouraging. For the last several years however, there has been one certain source for DW books for fans going to England for the last several years. The store is called Forbidden Planet Two. (The first Forbidden Planet is on Denmark Street, off Charing Cross Road. The one you want is around the corner and to the left on St Giles.) For directions, see Tour Three. There are also some bookstores on Charing Cross Road that carry a few D Wbooks and magazines. As of this writing, there is a DW speciality store in Wapping, across from the Tower Bridge. It hadn't opened when we were there last, but you might want to check it out. The address is: Wapping Wall, Wapping, A3 Metropolitan Wharf (Roadside Warehouse), London El. The phone is 4810826. Call before you go to make sure they're still there. If you have time, browse through some of the street markets - you could just happen upon that fourth Doctor's floppy hat or 78   

that fifth Doctor's cricket sweater. Velvet coats like that worn by the third Doctor have also been seen in the stalls, and you might even find baggy pants to dress up just like the second Doctor. Try Portobello Road Market (tube to Ladbroke Grove Station - Metropolitan Line, then walk east, following the signs). It's open Monday to Saturday, but the best time to go is on a Saturday morning. Another likely source is Petticoat Lane (Tube to Liverpool Street Station -Metropolitan, Circle and Central Lines, starts on the Bishops-gate side) which is open only on Sunday mornings, so get there before noon! Other shopping streets you might like to wander down are Carnaby Street, Wl (for really tacky stuff - and some interesting bargains too); King's Road, Chelsea; and Harrods on Knightbridge. Oxford and Regent Streets all have some interesting, affordable items as well as those that beggar the purse. Don't assume that British sizes are equivalent to your own. Before buying anything, try it on! Most stores are open from 9.30 am to 5.30/6.00 pm. Some areas have 'late nights'. Stores are not generally open on Sunday. There is one certain fact. There is always something to do in London! Unless your 'vacation' is several months long, you'll need to come back to see it all, and you haven't even started visiting the places in the rest of the book!


5 It's Only a Short Trip Doctor Who DW doesn't do all its filming in the studio - they do get a small travel budget - and they tend to use London and the surrounding countryside. All these trips can be done in a single day using London as a base. If you decide to get even more adventurous, we've got even more suggestions at the end of the chapter. Acton, North London 'Inferno' (Pertwee, 1970): The Rehearsal Hall in Acton's Old Oak Road was used for part of the filming of this episode. This was Nick Courtney's favourite episode - not because of the location but because of his dual role as the Brigadier and as the Brigade Leader in the alternative Earth. Acton can be reached by taking the Underground (Central Line) to the East Acton station. Leave the station, go north on Fitzneal Street to Old Oak Common Lane. Turn onto Old Oak Common Lane and walk south, crossing the major intersection at Westway. Just past the intersection, Old Oak Common Lane becomes Old Oak Road. Aldbourne, Wiltshire 'The Daemons' (Pertwee, 1971): All the outdoor scenes were located in this village, considered to be one of the prettiest in 80   

Wiltshire. It was chosen not only for its church, pub, and green but because there actually are prehistoric barrows, (called the Devil's Hump in the story), within, an easy walking mile of the village. In the show, Aldbourne was called Devil's End and the pub, where a great deal of the action takes place, was The Cloven Hoof. In reality, the pub is The Blue Boar but the original DW Cloven Hoof sign still hangs inside in a place of honour. Publicans Ray and Sylvia are warm and friendly and make visitors feel really welcome. Ray's a great storyteller. Get him to tell you about his dogs' abortive film career and the real story behind the opening lines of the first episode. Only the outside of the twelfth-century church was used. There never was a cave or crypt below it, nor a coven of Devil worshippers. However, there is a rooster weathervane on top, just like in the story! We couldn't see if it bore the mark from Benton's bullseye but you're welcome to check it out for yourself. Although the inside of the church was never used, the BBC took pictures looking out to match the real scenery when the door was 'open'. The church does justifiably boast of a superbly executed alabaster tomb of a fifteenth-century priest. The village still looks as it did when the Doctor, Jo, and Miss Hawthorne joined in the May Day celebration on the green. You'll have no trouble recognising it. Nor will you have any trouble coaxing the residents to talk about the time they had the Doctor, Jo, Mike Yates, Benton and the Master filming right before their eyes. Perhaps the treatment the cast received from the villagers was extra-special for almost all of them refer to 'The Daemons' as their very favourite onlocation show. (How about the in-joke in the show when the local squire of Devil's End is referred to as Squire Aldbourne?) The village is best reached by car. Take the train from London's Paddington Station to Swindon where a car rental office is available. (See the section on clustering at the end of 81   

this chapter.) Drive south-east on the A345 about three miles to the B4192 and continue south across the Marlborough Downs to the village. Drive right through the town to the southern edge and you'll find what you're looking for. Avebury, Wiltshire Avebury is the site of one of the world's most famous circles of standing stones. Unlike Stonehenge, it sprawls over some twenty-eight acres in the Wiltshire countryside, both surrounding and going through the town of Avebury itself. About 100 of the giant stones still stand, and as you look around you might even believe that some of them are the Ogri from 'The Stones of Blood'. The town, the road, and the cow pasture all run right through the circle, and you can walk around and touch the stones. As you drive into the town you'll see a small, plain sign saying Avebury, and a giant stone leaning over it and the roadway. You're already in the circle. There is little sense of menace here. Just don't try to prevent a cow from using a stone as a scratching post. They belong here; you're a visitor. There's a free carpark and signs clearly explaining where things are located. Visit the Great Barn for tourist information, souvenirs, and a look at life styles in the history of Wiltshire. Stop by Avebury Manor and the Alexander Keiller Museum. There are lots of shops and the atmosphere is friendly. The best way to get to Avebury is by car, although there is bus service from Bath or Devizes (infrequent). If you're going on your own, take the train into Swindon from London's Paddington Station. There's a car hire across the street from the station. Drive south on the A361. Swindon is a good central location for many DW spots; see clustering at the end of this chapter.


Bagley Woods, Oxfordshire 'The Android Invasion' (T. Baker, 1975): Some of the wood scenes were filmed in a wooded area between Hinksey Hill and the A34 on the southern outskirts of Oxford. The river scenes used the area around Radley, a small village south of Oxford, just east of Abdingdon. Don't swallow any of the river water here! Tom Baker had to be taken to the hospital to have his stomach pumped for inadvertently swallowing the stagnant stuff while filming his 'water escape' from the androids. Because there's a lot of ground covered in these locations, it's best to use a car. Swindon is again a good central point. Driving from the city, go east to County Road to the A420. Take this road and drive about twenty miles north-east to the A415 (at Kingston Bagpuize) directly into Abdington. Go through the city proper and follow the signs to Radley and the river. Continue north on the A34 to Oxford to get to Bagley Woods. Barnet By-Pass, Buckinghamshire 'Logopolis' (T. Baker, 1981): This was the site of the last Police Box in regular use in England. It was supposed to appear in 'Logopolis' but when the DW production crew got to the by-pass they found the box had been retired from service and hauled away just days before. (The one shown was a studio copy.) Eventually the production team used a similar lay-by near Uxbridge, complete with a fake Barnet Council signpost! The By-Pass is north of London's Hampstead Heath. We doubt if you can reach it except by car and we strongly advise against doing any driving in London. However, if you must see it, there's a tube station in High Barnet (Metropolitan Line). A devoted fan could go by Tube, hire a taxi, and beg the driver to seek out the historic By-Pass. Just don't credit us with such a crazy idea. And be careful of any strange blue boxes you might find! 83   

Barnsley, Gloucestershire 'K9 and Company' (Lis Sladen, 1982): There were three small villages in the Cotswolds used as locations for this spin-off of Doctor Who produced as a Christmas special. This charming village on a tiny tributary of the River Colne was one. Most stone houses here date from the 1700s and at the top of the main village street at one end of the village is a stone stile. Over it, down a tree lined walk, can be found Barnsley Park House, a former rectory. Its gardens have a Gothic Summerhouse and Adam temple. Occasionally the house and grounds are open to the public. You can get drinks and snacks at the Village Pub in the centre of the village, but don't expect anything else. It's apparently the sole commercial enterprise in the whole village! A far cry from the bustling country life portrayed in K9 and Company. The whole Cotswold area is renowned for its picturesque cottages, beautiful hills, and historic places (the source of the Thames is considered to be a spring only 7 lA miles southwest of here outside the village of Caates) and not for its residents' proclivity for witchcraft! Use Swindon as your starting point and rent a car. Barnsley is about fifteen miles north-west of Swindon via the A419 north to Cirencester, then the A433 north-east to Barnsley. Battle (of Hastings), Sussex 'The Time Meddler' (Hartnell, 1965): This is the most famous battlefield in the world - where the events of one day (with or without the Meddling Monk) changed the history of a nation. While the battle lasted an entire day, it shouldn't take you that long to tour the battlefield located in the small town of Battle six miles north-west of Hastings. Even at our advanced years, we managed to lope around it in less than two hours. Of course, we have to look at our pictures to remember what we saw, but. . . 84   

Trains to Battle depart from London's Charing Cross Station at hourly intervals and take about ninety minutes. Coaches depart from Victoria Coach Station once a day during the summer months and take about two and a half hours. If you take the train, come out of the station and turn left on Station Road then right at Lower Lake. Follow Lower Lake to Upper Lake and you will arrive at Batde Abbey. Enter the grounds to the right of the Abbey gatehouse. The walk around the batdefield is one mile. Across from the gatehouse is the museum - well worth a visit. There's a Tourist Information Centre at 88, High Street and a car park by Battle Abbey. If you can't get into the car park (it's small and you must pay), don't worry: there are several free car parks throughout the city. Battle Abbey was built by William the Conqueror to commemorate his victory over King Harold. What remains of the eleventh-century abbey is impressive, but watch out for the deep holes flush with and hidden in the grass. These are the remains of the Abbey's crypts. We don't think they're old traps left by the Monk, but there are no warning signs posted of the imminent disappearance of solid footing! You can, however, recognise the area by the three palm trees growing in the vicinity. (These palm trees don't seem to be the inspiration for producer John Nathan-Turner's Hawaiian shirt complex, but Who knows.) Birmingham Pebble Mill Studios, Birmingham 'Horror of Fang Rock' (T. Baker, 1977): This was the first time DW had ever filmed inside a Regional Studio outside London. Unfortunately, the lighthouse exterior shots were all done using a four foot high plastic styrofoam model in the Studios. There was no 'real' lighthouse. Birmingham can be reached by train from London's Euston Station in 1 hour 35 minutes arriving at New Street Station. The city is quite a big place and you may want to check with the Travel Centre in the station's main hall (on the extreme 85   

right as you leave the station platforms) before doing anything else. Tourist Information is at 110, Colmore Row, near Victoria Square. There's lots of shopping here and a major exhibition centre. Bisley, Gloucestershire 'K9 and Company' (Lis Sladen, 1982): This is another of the Cotswold villages used in the special. Set high on a hill, it's called Bisley-God-Help-Us by the locals because of its brisk winter wind. Again, there are no covens to contend with, but the local Bear Inn has two secret passages and a priest's hole to balance out your disappointment. At the George Inn there is (or was last we knew) a trumpet-shaped tube of glass two feet long with a swollen bulb bottom - an authentic 'yard of beer'. If you're game, you can try to down it, but beware - it holds over a quart of the foamy brew! On second thoughts, maybe you'd better stick to ginger beer. Travel to Bisley by car via the A419 out of the train station at Swindon. At Cirencester, bear left (west) and continue on the A419. At Chalford, turn north and follow the signs to Bisley (about two miles). Blackhurst House, Royal Tunbridge Wells 'Black Orchid' (Davison, 1983): Better known as Lord Cranleigh's estate, this stately home is actually located in the small village of Withyham about seven miles south-west of there. The owners weren't keen on letting it be used, fearing it would become identified and invaded by DW fans, so do not go up to the door and ask for a tour. This is a private home. There really is a cricket ground with a pavilion, a terrace where Nyssa and Tegan wowed them with their dancing, and (naturally) the roof from which poor old George fell to his death. Unlike the Doctor, you will find there is no train station at 'Cranleigh Halt' and no chauffeur waiting your arrival. Better luck next time. 86   

This doesn't mean the city of Royal Tunbridge Wells is without DW connections. As well as being one of the most elegant cities in the country, it's also the site of the 1983 performance of the Cinderella pantomime which was written and produced by John Nathan-Turner and starred Peter Davison as Buttons and Anthony Ainley (the Master) as Baron Hardup. It also boasts an eighteenth-century shopping walk known as the Pantiles which is traffic-free, paved, lined with fascinating shops, and serenades its visitors with band concerts on summer evenings. What more could you ask? Royal Tunbridge Wells can be reached by train but there is no car hire available. Trains leave from Charing Cross Station in London hourly and take about one hour to reach the city. Green Line Coaches leave every two hours from Buckingham Palace Road (by Victoria Train Station) and take about 214 hours. If you happen to be driving in the area, take the A21 north out of Hastings (or the A2100 north out of Batde to the A21) to Royal Tunbridge Wells. Tourist Information is located in the Town Hall. To reach Withyham from Royal Tunbridge Wells, take the A264 east to the B2188, turn south and take the B2110 into the village. You could hire a taxi to go to Withyham, but if you want to see the Harrison Climbing Rocks Venue at Groomsbridge (where some of the 'Castrovalvo' scenes were shot and which is on the way to Withyham) it could get pretty costly. We suggest driving yourself. Groomsbridge is on the B2188 just before you reach Withyham. Black Park near Iver Heath, Berkshire 'Full Circle' (T. Baker, 1980): Scenes of the Marshmen emerging from the water were shot near the edge of the lake. 'State of Decay' (T. Baker, 1980): The logging road, on the far side of the lake, has a lot to recommend it for some of the wood scenes. 'Castrovalva' (Davison, 1983): The scenes of the TARDIS landing and the treks through the woods were all filmed here. 87   

'The Visitation' (Davison, 1983): This episode was filmed here and around Heathrow. This location was preferred by the cast and crew as they did not have to worry about the noise from the airplanes overhead. This very large park is a wonderful spot all by itself, even without being a DW location favourite. It isn't readily accessible by public transport; you will need a car. Don't drive in London proper, take the train from Paddington Station to Reading and hire a car in Reading. Picnicking, hiking, fishing, swimming, boating, possibly even horseback riding - all can be enjoyed here. Even if you can't find the exact spots where each show was filmed, you'll have a wonderful time looking. The same couldn't always be said of Matthew Waterhouse (Adric). He didn't always find filming in the beauty of Black Park such a pleasure after partying enthusiastically but not too wisely the night before. To reach the park, take the A4 east out of Reading through Slough to the A412. Go north and watch for the signs directing you to Black Park. Blackpool, Lancashire This used to be the home of the main Doctor Who Exhibition, housed at 111, Central Promenade on the busy Golden Mile in the shadow of the famous Blackpool Tower. There are other amusement-type attractions in Blackpool as well - or so we've been told. You can get there by train. Check with Tourist Information in London or on arriving in Blackpool. At the end of 'Revelation of theDaleks' (C. Baker, 1985), the Doctor was supposed to say that he was taking Peri to Blackpool for a 'quiet' vacation (we all know what the Doctor's 'quiet' vacations turn out to be, don't we?) but it seems he was cut off in mid-breath by Michael Grade. Pity. While we were in England we kept saying 'We should go visit Blackpool,' but Jean insisted we visit another quarry. Laurie thinks she was right. 88   

Bodiam Castle, Sussex 'The King's Demons' (Davison, 1983): Although used in 'The King's Demons', Bodiam also represents the kind of castle Sarah Jane found herself in the ' The Time Warrior'. Many consider Bodiam to be the most romantic ruined castle in England. It is certainly absolutely breathtaking early in the morning as the mist rises. It almost seems to float on the water lapping its walls. Bodiam must be reached by car or taxi out of either Hastings or Battle. From Hastings, take the A21 north to the A229. Go north to the B2089 and turn east to Cripp's Corner. Turn north on the B2165 there. At Staple Cross, leave the B2165 (the road has no number designation) and continue north, following the signs to the castle. It's easy to reach, as it's only twelve miles from Hastings, seven miles from Battle, and fifteen from Royal Tunbridge Wells. The castle is open daily April to October (including Sundays and Bank Holidays) and Monday through Saturday in the Winter (excepting December 25-28). The small entrance fee is quite reasonable and there's a large carpark, a cafe, (open in the summer), souvenir shop and restroom facilities. In the small village nearby (the dwellings 'huddled like ducklings around their mother') are another restaurant and a smattering of B&Bs. We felt this was one of the highlights of our latest trip. If you're at all interested in castles (and who isn't!) don't miss it. Although the inside is little more than a shell, there is an audio-visual presentation that gives a vivid look at what Sarah must have encountered in fourteenth-century castle life. There are no restrictions inside the castle proper and you can explore to your heart's content. In fact, you can even climb up one of the towers to the upper battlements. (Caution: the steps are very steep, very narrow, and very numerous.) The view, however, is well worth the effort. There is a fairly long and occasionally steep walk from the car park to the castle. For this reason (and the many rough 89   

places in the interior), sensible shoes are a must. To get inside, you cross over a bridge that leads first to a small 'island' before entering the castle. If at all possible, bring bread or crisps with you as there are ducks and carp (real monsters!) in the moat. Both expect a visitor to slip them a little something and if you thought the Skarasen was grumpy when it was hungry, you haven't seen what a batch of irritated ducks or disappointed carp are capable of! Bognor Regis, Sussex 'Terror of the Zygons' (T. Baker, 1975): The area around the city (the Downs) substituted for Scodand and Loch Ness but in our opinion, it's definitely not as good as the real thing. Not that it isn't beautiful, it just isn't Scodand! Bognor Regis can be reached by train, but there is no car hire. If you don't want to hire a taxi, it's best to take the train to Brighton and rent a car there. The drive along the coast out of Brighton and along the A259 is well worth it. Follow the road right into the city. Brighton, Sussex 'The War Games' (Troughton, 1969): The Brighton rubbish tip was used for the scenes as it had just been used for the filming of Oh, What a Lovely War! Consequently, all the trenches, pits, and wires were already set up and ready to go for the DW crews. Waste not, want not. 'Horror of Fang Rock' (T. Baker, 1977): The Doctor was attempting to take Leela to the opening of the Royal Pavilion in 1822 when he landed in the fog. When he realised he'd missed Brighton, he thought it might be Worthing as it didn't seem to be Hove. Great sense of place and direction, right? 'The Leisure Hive' (T. Baker, 1980): Filming was done on the beach (off King's Road) to the right of both the West and the Palace (or Amusement) Pier as you look toward the ocean. This was where K9 took his opening 'stroll', only he had to be pulled across the stones on a wire. 90   

The Doctor told Romana he was (still) trying to make the opening of the Royal Pavilion, a kind of weird palatial homeaway-from-palace commissioned by the Prince of Wales. We're not sure which opening he was talking about as there's been more than one. The first was in 1822 when the Pavilion was originally finished after starting out life as a rented 'superior farmhouse'. The Prince of Wales (later to become Prince Regent and then King George IV) had 'discovered' Brighton and the house in 1783. What he ended up with is as far from a farmhouse as K9 is from a cuddly puppy. The Pavilion has been called many things (some even printable) but our favourite is 'a square box topped by a Norfolk turnip with four onions'. Well, couple that description with an interior that could have been designed by Weng-Chiang after a particularly wild opium dream and you know what to expect. Mind-boggling barely begins to cover it. In fact, it's just about on par with the sixth Doctor's taste in clothes! The next opening came when the Pavilion was refurbished and re-opened (after falling into Royal disfavour and disrepair after George's death) at a public ball in January 1851. This could have been what the Doctor was attempting to attend. It would certainly account for the bleakness of the weather and why he was huddled under his scarf. The next opening (after fairly serious fire damage in 1975) is scheduled for sometime in 1986. Maybe this time the Doctor will finally get his dates and the TARDIS circuits working simultaneously and arrive on time! Brighton is only fifty-five minutes away from London's Victoria Station and trains leave just about every hour all day long. The return schedules are almost as generous. Coaches leave Victoria Coach Station four times a day and take about 1 hour 45 minutes for the trip. You don't need a car in Brighton, the walk from the train station to the Royal Pavilion and the beach (two blocks beyond) is not long. Leave the station and take Queens Road to Church Street. Turn left onto Church Street. You will come 91   

upon the Art Gallery and the Museum on the right and just around the corner is the Royal Pavilion (you can't miss it). Tourist Information is south of the Pavilion at 54, Old Steine Road. Continue south (about another block) and you'll come to the beach and the piers. There are many interesting shops in the area (including some nifty second-hand clothing stores and bookstores by the train station), a plethora of pubs, and numerous restaurants. One way to explore the beach is by Volk's Railway - an open train operation since 1883 on electricity. It runs along the edge of the beach from Palace Pier to the Marina, east to Black Rock about a mile away, from Easter to the end of September. Don't forget to try the Brighton Rock Candy but be sure your dental insurance is up to date. Bristol (Oldbury Nuclear Power Station), Avon 'The Hand ofFear'(T. Baker, 1976): The power station where Sarah and the Doctor met Eldrad appears to be located in the Vale of Berkeley about fifteen miles slightly north-east of Bristol, off the B4061. It's unlikely if the management would appreciate an influx of fans demanding tours of the plant. The area is accessible only by car but you can take the train to Bristol from London's Paddington Station and rent a car or taxi there and start hunting. Take our word for it, quarries are much more interesting and positively welcome visitors. Cambridge, Cambridgeshire 'Shada' (T. Baker, 1980): Filming was mostly around Emmanuel College (St Cedds in the script) and the River Cam. The footage featuring the fourth Doctor and Romana in 'The Five Doctors' was taken from this lost episode. The punting scene was shot along the Cam by the Trinity College Bridge. Although Cambridge is easily accessible by train (1 hour, 10 minutes from London's Liverpool Street Station), the rail station is about two miles from the centre of town. There is, 92   

however, a local bus stop right across the street where you can catch a bus into Market Street and the city centre. The Tourist Information Centre is located next to a shopping mall near King's College on Wheeler Street. You don't want (or need) a car to get around in Cambridge. Instead, use the bus, a taxi, your feet, or rent a bike (for approximately £2 per day with a £20 deposit). After all, the finish of 'Shada' was to have been a wild bicycle ride through the streets by the fourth Doctor pursued by a flying globe. You won't have to outrun the villain Skagra's flying sphere, but it does give you a great chance to sightsee without a lot of work. If you visit during the summer season, you may be tempted to rent a punt a la the fourth Doctor. (The typical rental is about £3 per hour with a deposit of £15, refunded if you don't wreck the boat.) Caution: Punts look easy enough to manoeuvre - so does the TARDIS - but there is a definite knack to operating them. They can tip, ram other boats, spin, or leave you literally hung up on the guiding pole (stuck like glue in the mud) while your punt glides merrily on down the Cam. (All of which seems to have happened to Tom Baker - a very dedicated landlubber.) If you're rash enough to try it, take a change of clothes, leave them with a friend on dry land, and wear a life jacket. Bon voyage! Take heed of the mad ducks of Cambridge. If you go anywhere near the Cam (and you must, you must!), take a bag of crisps. The ducks charge the river banks whenever a visitor looms into sight and they've been known to 'mug' visitors who've been foolish enough to deny them sustenance. After your close encounter with a punt (or the ducks), you might feel in need of sustenance. Try 'afternoon tea' in the University Arms Hotel on Regent Street. Catch the 181 bus outside the Hotel to get back to the train station.


Canterbury, Kent 'Evil of the Daleks' (Troughton, 1967): A sprawling Victorian mansion just outside the -city was the home of scientist Theodore Maxtible, but most American fans would associate the town with Tom Baker's appearance in The Canterbury Tales. The train stations are located about a fifteen minute walk away from the Cathedral (in different directions). If you leave London from Charing Cross or Waterloo, you'll arrive at the West Station; the East Station is served by Victoria. (Either trip takes about 1 hour, 25 minutes.) The train from Victoria divides at Faversham - be sure you're on the right part! (Ask the guard.) Coaches leave daily from Victoria Coach Station and take two hours to reach Canterbury. Most museums are closed on Sundays and the shops have an early closing on Thursdays, so plan accordingly. The Tourist Information Centre is at 22, St Peter's Street which is an extension of High Street which is an extension of St George's Street. Understand? Jean thinks you can really extend yourself walking around this town. Canterbury Cathedral is, of course, world famous. To walk the steps, where pilgrims have walked since 1070, is quite an experience. Thomas a Becket was murdered by royal request in the church in 1170. If you're the morbid type, you can stand on the very spot where he was killed! While you're here, you might want to see what's playing at the Marlowe Theatre - Tom Baker appeared there in She Stoops to Conquer in 1984. Denham, Buckinghamshire 'The Five Doctors' (1983): UNIT HQ, was a private house in Denham, an unusually attractive village situated on the Misbourne, but we have no idea where or which. It's possible that Denham Place, a Great House open to the public was used. If it wasn't, the owners aren't in the tourist trade and would not welcome visitors. 94   

Denham has no train station so it's best reached by car. Catch the train from Paddington Station to Reading and rent a car there. Take the A4 north-west to Slough, get on the A412 there, and continue north past Black Park at Iver Heath into Denham. Dover Castle, Dover 'The Mind of Evil' (Pertwee, 1971): The Castle doubled for Stangmoor Prison and the UNIT men who stormed it with ropes and grappling hooks were, thanks to the Ministry of Defence, real British Marines. This wonderfully preserved twelfth-century castle has the oldest structure in England in its interior - a Roman pharos or lighthouse (shades of 'Logopolis'!) built in 50 AD. It was last used in the Second World War when some new earthworks and gun placements were built. Today these are the only areas at the castle roped off as being dangerous. They just don't make 'em like they used to. The Castle is reached from the car park by a narrow, blacktopped 'road'. It is quite steep and persons in wheelchairs may have difficulty in reaching the interior. There is a parking area just inside Colton Tower (the rampart at the head of the road) and it's possible that permission for handicapped persons to park in the esplanade may be given. The Castle is open daily except on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, Boxing Day, New Year's Day, and May Day. It's only open for 4 J4 hours on Sundays in summer and for two hours on Sundays in winter so check with the Tourist Information Bureau (next door to the Holiday Inn on Townwall Street) for exact times. Dover can be reached by train (either direct from London's Charing Cross, 1 hour, 30 minutes or with a stopover in Canterbury). Coaches from Victoria Coach Station take under three hours. Leaving Priory (train) Station, walk down St Martin's Hill (left as you leave the station) to Military Road. Continue straight down the road (it will regenerate into Pencester Street) 95   

to the bus station. You can then catch a bus to the castle. After you leave the castle, you can walk back into the town - it's all downhill from there! A fun side trip would be to take the Hovercraft ('Planet of Spiders') for a quick trip - 35 minutes - across the Channel to France. (Don't forget your passport!) There's a free bus service between Dover Priory Station and the Hoverport at Dover's western docks. This is also a good jumping off spot for car rental to visit a number of other spots. Dungeness, Kent 'Claws of Axos' (Pertwee, 1971): Filming took place on the beach of Dungeness in freak weather: one day it was sunny, the next it rained, and the third it snowed! Script Editor Terrance Dicks had to add dialogue blaming the phenomenon on the landing of the Axon space ship. A nuclear power station is located within half a mile of the beach and was used in some scenes. There's even a lighthouse similar to the one supposedly used in 'Horror of Fang Rock' that apparently can be visited by appointment. Don't plan on going for a swim, there are strong currents off the beach that make such excursions extremely hazardous. The beach - consisting of small rounded, smooth pebbles -is incredibly noisy to walk on. (You'd never be able to sneak up on anyone, that's for sure!) How the sound man ever managed to record any conversation is beyond us. Not only that, you tend to sink into it as you walk. Must have been a real joy for the actors portraying the Axons to try and hit their mark and say their lines under such conditions. The area is accessible primarily by car, and the car hire in Dover seems most convenient. From Dover, Take the A20 to Folkestone, then the A259 south-east to New Romney, take the turn-off to Littlestone-on-Sea and follow the signs south to Dungeness. Go back the same way, as the road dead-ends at the beach, but, if you're travelling on to Hastings, bear left at 96   

Lydd-on-Sea to the town of Lydd and follow the B2075 to Rye. From there, take the A259 to Hastings. There is a railway - the Romney, Hythe and Dymchurch Railway - which is a narrow gauge train operating in the summer between Hythe (just south of Folkestone) and the beach at Dungeness. Known as the world's smallest public railway, it operates by steam traction. For information on times, fares, etc, write to the Romney, Hythe and Dymchurch Light Railway Company at New Romney, Kent. Ealing Studio, Ealing, West London 'The Dalek Invasion ofEarth '(Hartnell, 1964): Part of the chase sequence was shot here. 'The Web Planet' (Hartnell, 1965): Sets of the Zarbi's planet were built here. 'The Underwater Menace' (Troughton, 1967): The studio water tank was used extensively, but does not exist any more. 'Planet of Evil' (T. Baker, 1975): The jungle set on Zeta Minor was built here. 'Creature From the Pit' (T. Baker, 1979): The sets of the planet Chloris were built here. , 'Snakedance' (Davison, 1982): The studios were used for the live snake scene. 'Terminus' (Davison, 1983): Many of the sets were assembled and used here. 'The Visitation' (Davison, 1982): The set of seventeenthcentury London was built here. The above stories were filmed at the BBC Studios in West London, a working studio. Tours, visitors, and/or fans are not encouraged. If you must find it, try taking the tube (Central Line) to Ealing Broadway and ask the locals. Stopping in a pub around lunchtime might be your best bet. Ealing Town, West London 'SpearheadFrom Space' (Pertwee, 1970): Ealing Broadway and the streets around here were used to film the scenes of the 97   

store dummies coming to life and shooting the innocent passers-by. The area has changed a great deal and is mostly unrecognisable. If you're insatiable, take the Central Line to Ealing Broadway, and wander. East Hagbourne, Oxfordshire 'The Android Invasion' (T. Baker, 1975): This small village was the model for Devesham. Sarah and the Doctor stopped in the Fleur-de-Lys (a pub) and met up with some pretty strange patrons. Actually, the Fleur-de-Lys isn't a made-up name, it's a real pub you can visit and see if Sarah's right about the ginger one of the largest lakes in Southern England - and the Little Pond, which is far from little. One or the other (hey, we don't know everything!) was used in 'The Highlanders' as a Scottish loch. That, some bagpipe music, and the addition of an actor who made a career of portraying Scottish parts was all the BBC needed to invoke Scotland without the cost of actually going all the way north. Frensham Ponds, a National Trust area, are about twentytwo miles south-east of Reading (only four miles south of Farnham). Take the train to Reading, hire a car there, and head south on the A33. Branch off at the A32 and continue south to Hook. Take the A287 through Farnham to the Frensham National Trust. Gerrards Cross Quarry, Buckinghamshire 'Tomb of the Cybermen' (Troughton, 1966) 'Attack of the Cyber-men '(Colin Baker, 1985): Doctor Who has a long and honourable history of using (we think) every available quarry or sandpit in Britain. It's understandable - alien landscapes are hard to come by - and these weirdly wonderful holes fill the bill, no matter what planet is being used in the storyline. One Doctor Who favourite is the quarry at Wapsey's Woods (also known as the Denham chalk pits) near Gerrards Cross. It's been used at least twice (the Cyberman really like it). 98   

Gerrards Cross is three miles west of Denham on the A40 and can best be reached by car, especially since you'll need it to search for the quarry (this is why ordnance maps come in handy.). It's on the rail line if you have an aversion to driving and want to take a train from London. On arrival you can hire a taxi to make your recce for the quarry. Harrison Rocks Climbing Venue, Kent 'Castrovalva' (Davison, 1982): This was the place where the Doctor, Tegan, and Nyssa climbed into the strangely ordered existence of Castrovalva. You, too, can try your hand (or foot!) at climbing, but we can't guarantee you'll reach that fabled spot of beauty and peace. You might keep in mind what Janet Fielding reports: even though she was firmly anchored from above by a rope, she was terrified. Don't try it unless you know what you're doing and aren't wearing high heels and a straight skirt. If you're driving, take the A264 west out of Royal Tunbridge Wells to the B2188 and turn south. The climbing rocks are around Groomsbridge. If you take the train to Royal Tunbridge Wells, you will have to hire a taxi for your rock hunting expedition. Harwell Atomic Station, Harwell, Berkshire 'The Android Invasion' (T. Baker, 1975): Supposedly the Devesham Space Centre this atomic station was not yet officially opened when the scenes were filmed there. The Station is about three or four miles west of East Hagbourne on the B4493 (through Didcot) and most readily accessible by car, although you can take the train from London to Didcot and hire a taxi. Hastings, Sussex 'The Time Meddler' (Hartnell, 1965): This is the scene of the famous battle, whose outcome the Meddling Monk tried to change. It's also the 'home' of the first pre-fab castle, erected on cliffs overlooking the city by William the Conqueror after the Battle of Hastings in 1066. Although the castle is now in 99   

ruins - torn down by King John, or perhaps Kamelion in disguise? - rumours still persist of its being haunted. Why not try your own clairvoyant talents to seek out messages from the resident ghost? What remains, including the underground dungeons (the like of which the Doctor's seen many times) can be visited -for a small entrance fee - daily from Easter to the end of September. We advise taking either the West Hill lift located on George Street to the top of the cliff or renting a taxi, or taking the bus. There are steps that lead from the Old Town near St Clement's Church, but climbing them is like getting caught in a chronic hysterisis. Every time you turn a corner, there are more steps. If you're in good shape or have a spare oxygen tank in your backpack, go ahead and try! St Clement's caves, also on the hill north of the Castle, are a very strange mixture of natural and man-made underground passages. Try your luck underworld in seaching for the P7E. Tradition says smuggling by local gentlemen was carried out in these caverns, a pursuit the first Doctor became involved in with 'The Smugglers', but that's another story;. The Museum of Local History on High Street has life-sized mannequins and displays concerning the Battle of Hastings and smuggling if you haven't gotten enough yet. Tourist Information is at 4, Robertson Terrace. Hastings can be reached either by train from Charing Cross Station in about 1 hour and 45 minutes. Coaches leave daily from Victoria Coach Station and take about three hours. Hoo, near Strood, Kent 'Inferno' (Pertwee, 1970): A sensational stunt was filmed here for this episode when stuntman Roy Scammel plunged fifty feet from a gasometer. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to find the gasometer. We're no help, we don't even know what it is! (But anything that tall can't be too easy to hide.) Hoo is a moderate-sized city on the northern shore of the River Medway ('Carnival of Monsters'). It has no train station, 100   

but you can go to nearby Rochester from Victoria or Charing Cross in London (about one hour). You can also take a coach from Victoria Coach Station (running twice daily) for the ninety minute ride. Once in Rochester, you can hire a taxi to take you the 2Vi miles to Hoo. Maybe the taxi driver will know what you're looking for! Hurley, Tithe Barn, Berkshire 'The Visitation'(Davison, 1982): The Tithe Barn (also known as the Monk's Barn, built in 1100) and the adjoining enclosed, brick-tiled courtyard were used as part of Squire John's residence. Just beyond it, a private manor house and its near-by dovecote, built in 1306, were also used. Hurley is one of the many attractive towns that cluster the Thames's banks not far from London. This site has been settled for over 1,000 years, so it could easily have seen the events postulated in this eposide. The Old Bell Hotel just down the street from the Tithe Barn, has been in existence since 1135. It claims to be the oldest inn in England and even boasts a secret passage connecting it to a ruined monastery several hundred yards away. For some reason the barman was very coy about admitting that the Doctor Who cast and crew had ever been in the town, let alone in the pub. He was the only person we met in England who wasn't eager to talk about his contact with Doctor Who. No matter what he says, though, JNT confirms that he and the cast were in the hotel every day! Hurley is slightly west of Maidenhead off the A423. There's no train service to Hurley so it's another location that's best reached by car from Reading. Ironbridge Gorge Museum, Telford, Shropshire 'The Mark of the Rani' (C. Baker, 1985): Almost all of the show (except for the studio recording and one scene shot at Queen Elizabeth Woods near Harefield Hospital) was filmed at this complex. The whole area, covering forty-two acres and including the Blists Hill Open Air Museums and a village 101   

showcasing outdated industries and crafts, was the site of the Industrial Revolution. Bedlam Furnaces (the original iron smelting forge), is nearby, as is Ironbridge - the world's first cast-iron bridge. Don't sell yourself short by allowing anything less than four to five hours here. Accessible mostly by car, (when you see the directions for the train, you'll understand why) the Museum is south of Telford, halfway between Shrewsbury and Wolverhampton/ Birmingham, off the B4380 at the A4169. Cars can be hired in Birmingham, Wolverhampton, or Shrewsbury. By train (you're sure you want to?), leave Euston Station in the morning for Wolverhampton, where you change to a local train there for Wellington. In Wellington, walk straight ahead on Station Road to Church Street, make a right and then a left a few blocks later on Queen Street to the Midland Red Travel Centre. Get a bus there for a half-hour ride to Ironbridge. The total trip takes over three hours on a good day. Start early and don't even attempt it on a Sunday or a holiday. Isle of Wight, Hampshire 'The Sea Devils' (Pertwee, 1972): Part of this episode was supposedly filmed at No Man's Land Sea Fort - but we have yet to find it on a map. Maybe it was swallowed by the Sea Devils? There are four forts off the shore at the seaside village of Bembridge, on the east coast between Ryde and Shanklin so you could try your investigative skills there. No matter, the sandy beaches and the great lashings of sunshine you'll find on this island are attractions enough. Take the train from Waterloo Station to Portsmouth Harbour, then catch the Portsmouth-Ryde passenger ferry to the Isle itself. (Your British Rail Pass is good for the passage.) The boat ride takes approximately twenty-five to thirty minutes and once on land you can sightsee to either of the three main cities - Shanklin, Sandown, or Ryde - by train: they run right onto the pier. All coaches are one class, and we advise selecting one with ventilators at the top of the windows 102   

if travelling in summer; they can be pretty stuffy otherwise. Your British Rail Pass is also good for these trains. Shanklin is very pretty, Sandown has a new entertainment pier, and Ryde is on a hillside where you can lie back and watch the ships go by. The island is almost as relaxing as the Eye of Orion which the sixth Doctor is always touting. Return to the mainland either by the same ferry or by Hovercraft - a fast seven minute ride that probably won't be as thrilling as it would be if the third Doctor was piloting. Knebworth House, Surrey 'Evil of the Daleks' (Troughton, 1967): This was the home of Sir Arthur Sullivan (perhaps an ancestor of Harry's?) and was used as Maxtible's house, supposedly near Canterbury. It is open daily April to September (except Mondays) and has a deer park, a narrow-gauge railway (similar to the one used in 'The Deadly Assassin'), picnic sites, and a jousting field among other treats. Plays, readings, and banquets are also occasionally held, check with the house and/or Tourist Information for further info. The house is located near Stevenage, about twenty-five miles north of London, just off the Al at Knebworth if you're driving. Take the train from London to the station in Knebworth and hire a taxi otherwise. Leeds Castle 'The Androids of Tara' (T. Baker, 1978): Leeds Casde is set on two islands in the middle of a lake and is considered by many to be the 'most beautiful castle in the world'. A glass over-lay was used on the castle when filming to transform it into the more sinister Castle Gracht. Although Romana almost lost her head while visiting, we think you'll enjoy yourself without getting so radically involved. Unfortunately, dogs are not allowed at the castle - sorry K9! - but you can see the Great Danes who live there and visit the unique collection of dog collars that date from the Middle 103   

Ages. Something called a 'Kentish evening' is presented every Saturday throughout the year from 7 pm to 1 am. The festivities start with a sherry cocktail party and include guided tours of the castle and Fairfax Hall as well as a meal fit for a king. (Or at least a Count.) The castle is still used occasionally as a conference centre, so it may be shut unexpectedly. Check before you go. Leeds is open daily April to September (except Mondays in April and May) and Saturdays and Sundays, October through March. It's located near Maidstone, off the A20, and since there's no regular bus or train, a car is the most desirable means of transportation. Alternatively, you can take the train from London's King's Cross to Leeds and hire a taxi from there. Longleat, Wiltshire Doctor Who Exhibition: Longleat House is the ancestral home of the Marquess of Bath and the site of the official Doctor Who exhibition. This was the scene of the Easter 1983 BBCsponsored Celebration where 35,000 people enjoyed themselves while having to make do with three toilets. You won't have to face that kind of crowd when you visit, but do realise that the Doctor Who exhibition is open only from Easter to October - unless you're with a group and write ahead of time to see if arrangements can be made to open it for you. Although there is a parking fee, a fee to tour the house, and a separate fee for the Doctor Who exhibition, all are well worth it. There's even a Safari Park on the grounds where you can drive through to see the wild animals -including lions - if they don't eat your car first. The entrance to Longleat House is on the WarminsterFrome Road, the A362, and although it's in the middle of nowhere, it is reasonably well-marked. You can take the train from London's Paddington Station to Bath (approximately ninety minutes) or from London's Waterloo to Salisbury (again, about ninety minutes) and hire a car in either city. 104   

Mayfield, Sussex 'The Three Doctors' (Hartnell, Troughton, and Pertwee, 1972): This small village was the home of William Hartnell and was used to film his scenes in 'The Three Doctors'. At the time of the special, he was too ill to travel and so the crew came to him. The scenes where he appeared on the view-screen in the TARDIS were all filmed in his garage. Mayfield is about eight miles south of Royal Tunbridge Wells on the A267 and only about fifteen miles north-west of Battle. If you're driving, take the A269 west from Battle, turn north on the B2096 to the A265 where you turn west. Go about one mile to the A267 and turn north. It's only about five miles from there. Or, take the A267 south out of Royal Tunbridge Wells. Even the car park has a marvellous view of the surrounding Sussex countryside! If you're not driving, take the train from London's Paddington Station to Royal Tunbridge Wells and hire a taxi from there. Medway River, Kent 'Carnival of Monsters' (Pertwee, 1973): In this episode, the TARDIS materialised with the Doctor and Jo on a boat instead of on Metebelis 3. The passengers thought they were on the Indian Ocean, but it was actually the Medway. The Medway flows across the North Downs and enters the Thames Estuary past the Isle of Grain. This was a very important water transport route until the advent of trains and trucks. Maidstone, the country 'seat', and Leeds Castle are nearby. The A228 runs along much of the river from the M20, north to Rochester. If you don't have a car, take the train to Rochester, hire a taxi, or hike. Middlesex Polytechnic - Trent Park Building 'Mawdryn Undead' (Davison, 1983): The Brig's school is just that - a real boys' school! It's at Oakwood, just across the street from the Underground Station of the same name. A long lane 105   

leads back to the school with fields on one side and a golf course on the other. Visitors are not encouraged as they can disrupt the school schedule. Besides, very little of the buildings and grounds, or obelisk, can be seen from the road. Take the Underground (Piccadilly Line) to Oakwood and then walk if you're really stubborn. Miserden, Gloucestershire 'K9 and Company' (Lis Sladen, 1982): The last of the three villages used for the spin-off, Miserden is in the heart of the Cotswolds at the head of the Golden Valley. It's considered 'modern', having been designed and built only 100 years ago. The church and churchyard have a remarkable collection of carved monuments and memorials - perhaps used as Hecate's followers' playground? Take the train to Swindon, hire a car and take the A419 north and angle to the west (staying on the A419) at Cirencester. Continue to Frampton Mansell and follow the signs. It isn't easy to find, but the scenery is terrific. Northampton, Northamptonshire The Talons of Weng-Chiang' (T. Baker, 1977): The Victorian Repertory Theatre was used for Jago's Music Hall and composer Dudley Simpson actually played the part of the music conductor in the episode. Take the train to Northampton (check with British Railways or any Tourist Information Centre for times). Tourist Information is at 21, St Giles Street. Oxshott Sandpit, Oxshott, Surrey 'The Savages' (Hartnell, 1966): This story was shot in the quarry/sandpit located near Oxshott on the A244 or the B280 (which is off the A243) about four miles south of Esher, just south of London proper. You can take the train to either Esher or Oxshott from London and arrive within minutes. However, before dematerialising, read the following: 106   

At the time of the Doctor Who filming, no one knew how very dangerous this particular location was. Only after completing filming was it learned that several people had drowned there. When a young boy was lost in it shortly after the filming, the sandpit was filled in. Portsmouth, Hampshire 'The Sea Devils' (Pertwee, 1972): The city, the coastline, and the HMS Reclaim (for the underwater diving sequences) were all used for this classic story. The HMS Reclaim is off-limits to visitors, but you can follow a carefully marked route just outside Harbour Station along The Hard to tour Lord Nelson's ship, HMS Victory. Nearby, the Royal Naval Museum has material on Lord Nelson, the Batde of Trafalgar, and more contemporary naval information. Trains depart Waterloo Station for Portsmouth frequendy and take ninety-five minutes. Coaches leave Victoria Coach Station twice daily and take 2 lA hours. A car hire is available but not necessary. This is a good jumping-off point for a further trip to the Isle of Wight. Quainton Road Train Station, Quainton, Buckinghamshire 'Black Orchid' (Davison, 1982): A disused train station Outside the village of Quainton in Buckinghamshire was used as Cranleigh Halt. The Quainton Railway Society has taken it over and have a collection of steam locomotives and rolling stock on view here. No wonder there wasn't a real train seen arriving at the station! Quainton is off the A41 north-west of Aylesbury, just north of Waddesdon - follow the signs.


Queen Elizabeth Woods, Buckinghamshire 'The Mark of the Rani' (C. Baker, 1984): The scene where the Doctor was tied to a pole and carried off by the miners was shot here. When the camera crew suddenly had to troop off to a different location to take advantage of the light, Colin Baker was left alone on the ground, tied hand and food to the pole. An elderly couple walking their dog found him lying there helpless. After their dog had given him a good going-over (luckily he decided Colin wasn't a tree or a fire hydrant), the couple simply hurried off - without ever once saying a word or asking if they could help! Is this some obscure British custom we're not aware of? The woods are just north of Denham off the A412 near Harefield (and Harefield Hospital). Rent a car or prepare for some walking. Runnymede, Surrey 'The King's Demons' (Davison, 1983): The site of the signing of the Magna Carta, Runnymede is a broad-meadow along the Thames between Windsor and Staines, south of the A308. Kingjohn came from Windsor and the angry Barons came from Staines. Of course, in Doctor Who terms, Kamelion was playing the King several miles away (in what we know as Bodiam Castle). The main road is only twenty yards from the meadow, but-if you'd rather see it from the peaceful side, you can also take a boat trip from London. Shapwick, Dorset 'The Awakening' (Davison, 1983): The Litde Hodcombe scenes were shot in this small typical Dorset village. Shapwick can be reached by car using the B3082 northwest out of Wimborne Minster (just north of Bournemouth and Poole) or off the A350 from Poole itself. There is no train to Shapwick but you can take one to Bournemouth from London's Waterloo Station in about two hours. A car can be 108   

hired in Bournemouth, or a taxi, or (we suppose) a horse and cart if you look hard enough. Stargroves, Berkshire 'Image of the Fendahl'(T. Baker, 1977): Seen as Fetch Priory. 'Pyramids of Mars' (T. Baker, 1975): Seen as Scarman's home. 'The Seeds of Doom' (T. Baker, 1976): Used as Harrison Chase's house and gardens. The house, which used to belong to Mick Jagger, is located towards Reading in Berkshire, and is on the western side of the shire and best reached by car. Oddly enough, the man who built it also worked on the home of Lord Caernavon, the man who financed the expedition that found the tomb of King Tutankhamen: very appropriate in view of the subject of 'Pyramids of Mars'! For more exact directions, take the train to Reading and stop in at a local pub! Remember that this is a private home and is not open for tourists! Stonehenge, near Salisbury Not used in Doctor Who, but the atmosphere of this stone circle (with a lintel stone lying across two uprights) matches the otherworld feeling of 'The Stones of Blood' - unlike the actual site of Avebury, which has a 'home town' feeling. Stonehenge is by far the most famous of all stone circles in the world. Controversy rages as to who built it or why (for a burial ground, a sun-worshipping site, a Neolithic computing machine, or human sacrificial temple? Who knows - and he isn't telling!) or even when it was built. Most sources agree it is at least 3,500 to 5,000 years old, placing it sometime after Rassilon and before the birth of the previous Lord President. Whatever the stone circle was used for, the sight of it crouching on the bleak, wind-swept plains of Salisbury is aweinspiring. Many of the boulders, especially the bluestones which weigh many thousands of pounds and range up to 21 feet in height, were moved hundreds of miles from where they 109   

were quarried. Some were thought to have come from as far away as southern Wales. How? Good question. On the plain, anything seems possible! (We kept looking over our shoulders for the Cailleach and were quite prepared to take off running if any of those stones moved an inch!) Although the site is miles from anywhere, reaching it is not all that difficult. By car, it's on the A360/A344, off the A303 (two miles west of Amesbury) and can easily be reached from Bath or Salisbury. Travelling by train from London, leave from Waterloo on the 9.10 train. It will take 1 hour 45 minutes, to get to Salisbury. Once there, take the special Stonehenge excursion bus at Salisbury Station. There Harefield Hospital). Rent a car or prepare for some walking. Runnymede, Surrey 'The King's Demons' (Davison, 1983): The site of the signing of the Magna Carta, Runnymede is a broad-meadow along the Thames between Windsor and Staines, south of the A308. Kingjohn came from Windsor and the angry Barons came from Staines. Of course, in Doctor Who terms, Kamelion was playing the King several miles away (in what we know as Bodiam Castle). The main road is only twenty yards from the meadow, but-if you'd rather see it from the peaceful side, you can also take a boat trip from London. Shapwick, Dorset 'The Awakening' (Davison, 1983): The Litde Hodcombe scenes were shot in this small typical Dorset village. Shapwick can be reached by car using the B3082 northwest out of Wimborne Minster (just north of Bournemouth and Poole) or off the A350 from Poole itself. There is no train to Shapwick but you can take one to Bournemouth from London's Waterloo Station in about two hours. A car can be 110   

hired in Bournemouth, or a taxi, or (we suppose) a horse and cart if you look hard enough. Stargroves, Berkshire 'Image of the Fendahl'(T. Baker, 1977): Seen as Fetch Priory. 'Pyramids of Mars' (T. Baker, 1975): Seen as Scarman's home. 'The Seeds of Doom' (T. Baker, 1976): Used as Harrison Chase's house and gardens. The house, which used to belong to Mick Jagger, is located towards Reading in Berkshire, and is on the western side of the shire and best reached by car. Oddly enough, the man who built it also worked on the home of Lord Caernavon, the man who financed the expedition that found the tomb of King Tutankhamen: very appropriate in view of the subject of 'Pyramids of Mars'! For more exact directions, take the train to Reading and stop in at a local pub! Remember that this is a private home and is not open for tourists! Stonehenge, near Salisbury Not used in Doctor Who, but the atmosphere of this stone circle (with a lintel stone lying across two uprights) matches the otherworld feeling of 'The Stones of Blood' - unlike the actual site of Avebury, which has a 'home town' feeling. Stonehenge is by far the most famous of all stone circles in the world. Controversy rages as to who built it or why (for a burial ground, a sun-worshipping site, a Neolithic computing machine, or human sacrificial temple? Who knows - and he isn't telling!) or even when it was built. Most sources agree it is at least 3,500 to 5,000 years old, placing it sometime after Rassilon and before the birth of the previous Lord President. Whatever the stone circle was used for, the sight of it crouching on the bleak, wind-swept plains of Salisbury is aweinspiring. Many of the boulders, especially the bluestones which weigh many thousands of pounds and range up to 21 feet in height, were moved hundreds of miles from where they 111   

were quarried. Some were thought to have come from as far away as southern Wales. How? Good question. On the plain, anything seems possible! (We kept looking over our shoulders for the Cailleach and were quite prepared to take off running if any of those stones moved an inch!) Although the site is miles from anywhere, reaching it is not all that difficult. By car, it's on the A360/A344, off the A303 (two miles west of Amesbury) and can easily be reached from Bath or Salisbury. Travelling by train from London, leave from Waterloo on the 9.10 train. It will take 1 hour 45 minutes, to get to Salisbury. Once there, take the special Stonehenge excursion bus at Salisbury Station. There is a small fee (around £2) for the bus and admission to Stone-henge. The buses don't run on Sundays, Bank holidays, or from 1 January through to mid-April. If you can get to Amesbury, you can try walking the two miles to Stonehenge. Yes, the site is fenced in - you can only observe it - but for all that, it attracts a half-million visitors a year and is surprisingly untouristy even with its car park, souvenir stand, and refreshment centre. While in Salisbury, you might want to drop by the Chapter House of Salisbury Cathedral which contains a copy of the Magna Carta ('The King's Demons'). The museum in Salisbury also contains many items from Stonehenge. The Salisbury Tourist Information office is at 10, Endless Street. Leave the rail station, go down Fisherton to the market square and turn left at the end of the square. Sussex Downs 'The War Games' (Troughton, 1969): Site of the 'Highlands' where Jamie was set down by the Time Lords and fired upon by Cumberland's men at the end of the final episode. 'The Highlanders' (Troughton, 1966): Pseudo-Scotland, but with the wicked shooting schedule of the early years, no one had time to travel all the way north. 112   

You'll need a car to tour this area of rolling hills and lakes that stretches from Petersfield (about twenty miles northwest of Bognor Regis) to just west of Eastbourne. The Downs are well-renowned for their beauty; the landscape rises and falls like waves and - wonder of wonders! -sunshine is in good supply. Take a train to Brighton; rent a car, and be sure that you have a good ordnance-type map showing at least three miles to the inch. Villiers House, Ealing Broadway, West London 'Enemyof the WorW(Troughton, 1967): The building, formerly the home of BBC Enterprises, was used as Kent's HQ in the episode. Take the Underground (Central Line) to Ealing Broadway (the end of the line). As you leave the station, turn right and there you are. Villiers House is actually part of the station building. Take pictures of the front, but remember -this is a place of business, and they don't welcome fans 'dropping in'. Wimbledon Common, South-West London 'TheMassacre' (Hartnell, 1966): Used because it gave the feel of 'wide open space'. Dodo appeared for the first time in the last four minutes of the fourth episode as the Doctor and Steven escaped the St Bartholomew's Day Massacre. Stopping briefly on the Common they picked up a new passenger. To reach it, take the Underground (the District Line) to Wimbledon. The Common is south-west from the station, through Wimbledon Park (yes, the home of the Tennis Club). Don't try to go by foot, it's too far. Take the bus or a taxi. The Common is big and should be treated with respect. For all intents and purposes, you're in the country. Wookey Hole, Somerset 'Revenge of the Cybermen' (T. Baker, 1974): This was the mysterious planetoid of the Vogans - but don't expect to find gold lying around on the ground here! 113   

Wookey Hole, contrary to its name, is not frequented by Chewbacca's relatives but is a group of caves (or series of chambers) worn out of the carboniferous limestone of the Mendip Hills. There are at least twenty-five chambers, of which numbers One, Two, Three, Seven, Eight, and Nine are open to the public. In chamber One, Lis Sladen (as Sarah Jane) had to cross a deceptively placid-looking river in a skitter boat. That river the River Axe - is extremely dangerous (eleven million gallons of water races through it each day!). While filming, she lost control of the little craft. Stuart Fell, the stunt man who'd remained behind after his earlier scenes because he felt 'uneasy', was able to jump in and rescue her from almost certain drowning. Chamber Three, one of the largest single domed caves in the world, is easily recognisable as the place where the transmat beacons were located and where Harry beamed down with Sarah Jane who had been poisoned by a Cybermat. Don't let the guides try and tell you this is where the TARDIS landed! The tunnel leading from the furthest chamber, the ninth, to the outside was cut in 1974 just prior to filming and was also used extensively in the chase scenes. Lis Sladen's brush with death wasn't the only unusual happening at Wookey Hole. In Chamber One, there's a rock shaped like a woman, known as the 'Witch of Wookey Hole'. It was supposedly a real person who was turned into stone many years ago by a parson after she'd stolen and cooked a child from a nearby village. It was by that spot that Lis Sladen and Ian Marter were looking over their scripts. One scene worried them and after talking it over, they decided to check with the director about it. When they approached him, however, he asked, 'What scene?' They searched their scripts but neither could find it again. Nor could it be found in anyone else's script. Perhaps the 'Witch' was playing tricks on the intruders? 114   

The caves aren't the only attraction at Wookey Hole. There's an entire complex that consists of the Hole, a paper-making mill dating from the 1700s, where paper is still made by hand; Lady Bangor's Fairground Collection of merry-go-round figures and mechanical organs; and Madame Tussaud's Store Rooms where hundreds of wax heads, memorabilia, clothing, etc. are stored. Be on the look-out for a wax figure of Tom Baker as Meglos, a Sea Devil, a Foamasi, a Nimon, a Sontaran, and Davros - all of whom are stored in the very last room of the store rooms. They may be made into a special exhibit if enough interest is generated. Wookey Hole is about two miles north-west of Wells (which can be reached by the A361, the A39, or the B3139) with signposts clearly directing motorists to the spot. Take the train to Wells and get a taxi if you're not driving around the area. Plan to spend at least 2 to 2 Vi hours there as there's the papermaking to watch as well as a museum to see. A restaurant and rest rooms are available at the complex along with a large car park. There is an admission fee but no parking fee and the complex is open year round except Christmas Day. Quarries We Have Known and Loved: Doctor Who probably uses more quarries in a year than any other programme in the history of television. We could not possibly list them all, but here are a few of the more interesting ones. No true fan of Doctor Who should consider visiting Britain without stopping to pay respects to at least one quarry. If, during your travels, you find an unlisted, interesting quarry, in easy reach of London, be sure to notify the Doctor Who Production Office. They're always looking for exciting new (and cheap) locations. Quarry at Wapsey's Woods near Gerrards Cross: 'Tomb of the Cybermen' (Troughton, 1966); 'TheMutants' (Pertwee, 1972); 'Attack of the Cybermen' (C. Baker, 1985). Also known as the Denham chalk pits. Three miles west of Denham on the A40. 115   

'BBC sandpit": 'The Caves of Androzani' (Davison, 1984) near Wareham, Devon (half-way between Bournemouth and Portland Bill. Take the A35 west out of Bournemouth to the A351 south into Wareham. You're on your own finding the sandpit). Oxshott sandpit: 'The Savages' (Hartnell, 1966) in Oxshott, about four miles south of Esher, Surrey, and just south of London proper. Sandpit closed soon after filming because of loss of life there. Quarry used in 'The Smugglers' (Hartnell, 1966) was probably the one at Church Cove (see on location). A great place to collect serpentine rocks. Clustering The contents of this chapter have been laid out so each could be a day trip from a central base in London. If, however, you would rather hire a car and combine several single trips into one longer trip staying overnight at local B&B places, here are some suggestions: From Swindon: Avebury; Aldbourne; East Hagbourne; Harwell; Abdington; Radley, and Bagley Woods; Barnsley, Bisley, and Miserden, Gloucester. From Reading: Denham, Buckinghamshire; Gerrard's Cross; Black Park, Iver Heath; Frensham Ponds; Hurley; Runnymede; Oxshott; Queen Elizabeth Woods, Harefield; East Hagbourne; and Harwell. From Dover: Canterbury; Dover; Dungeness, Mayfield; Leeds; and Hastings. From Hastings: Hastings; Battle; Bodiam; Mayfield; Royal Tunbridge Wells; Withyham; Harrison Climbing Rocks Venue, Groomsbridge; and Brighton. From Brighton: Brighton; Bognor Regis; Littlehampton; and the Sussex Downs. From Salisbury: Stonehenge; Longleat; Wells and Wookey Hole. From Bournemouth: Shapwick, Dorset; 'BBC sandpit', Wareham; Portland Bill Quarries. 116   

From Coventry: Evesham; Ironbridge Gorge Museum; and Powis, Welshpool (see On Location).


6 On Location Every once in a while, Doctor Who is able to go on location. By this, we mean packing up and travelling beyond a commuting limit from London. And, boy!, when they go on location, they go on location. We don't advise attempting to go these places and come back the same day . . . unless, of course, you have access to a TARDIS. (In which case - we'd like a word with you!) We've clustered the trips in this section from the beginning so you can plan your time and travel arrangements accordingly. Cornwall Cornwall is in the extreme southwestern part of Britain. It's a peninsula where (west of Truro) the sea's never more than seven miles away. The whole area reeks of superstition -fairy tales, folklore, and King Arthur - and Doctor Who fits right in with the myths and legends. Penzance, the chief town, is the most westerly town in Britain and a delightful seaside resort on its own, and is perfect as a base for your explorations of the Doctor Who sites used in this area. We suggest you travel by train. It's 280 miles from London to Penzance: if you drove, you'd be spending most of your precious time in a car. Besides, the train service from London's Paddington station is terrific. You can chose to travel by an overnight sleeper (leaving London about 118   

midnight and arriving the next morning about 8 am) or by an Intercity express (about five hours). We suggest the sleeper, not only because it's fun but you don't have to pay extra for a hotel room. And, as a bonus, you don't 'lose' any time travelling. (Just don't forget to make reservations!) You'll miss all the breathtaking scenery in between, but you'll arrive refreshed and ready to go. Even better, there's a car hire office barely twenty feet outside the train station -a real necessity as the locations you want to see are scattered, and hirjng a taxi could be prohibitive. If you want to stay overnight or even longer, there are lots of B&B places, costing about £9-15 a night. It's imperative to have reservations during the high season (lots of other people want to vacation here too, remember, even if they never heard of Doctor Who), and a good idea at any time. You can write to the Tourist Information in Penzance for information on B&B places available, check with your travel agent, or read any one of the several books we've listed in the bibliography. If you decide to write, do so several months in advance and enclose a self-addressed, stamped envelope if you are writing in Britain, or an International Reply coupon if you're overseas. All right, you have a car and a place to stay and you're ready to go sightseeing. Where do you go? Why not start in Penzance? Penzance 'The Smugglers' (Hartnell, 1966): The headquarters unit was based here but we have no clue which house or building was used. The city, the main shopping centre and principal town in Cornwall, is thriving, busy, and interesting. During the high season it's imperative to have reservations as it's also a wonderful seaside resort. Even better from our standpoint (it was a little too chilly when we were there to consider a dip in the water), it abounds with terrific eating places. Don't miss the local delicacy of strawberries and clotted cream, no matter how that sounds to you at first. Seafood is abundant in 119   

the local restaurants and you'll almost trip over the many Chinese and Indian eateries sprinkled throughout the city. One sight you won't want to miss is St Michael's Mount, an 'island' that rises 250 feet out of the bay across from Penzance. It's the sister of the one of the same name in France where the Langella Dracula movie was filmed. Topped by a fortified fourteenth-century Benedictine house (delightfully spooky when surrounded by wisps of fog), you can walk across the causeway to it at low tide. According to legend, it was here that the child Christ was brought by Joseph of Arimathea on their way to Glastonbury. Don't say we didn't warn you, though: after a longish walk over the causeway, there's a stiff climb up cobbled streets to the castle. Wear sensible shoes! The other location sites are either west of the city or southeast. Why not start your day by driving to the first piece of land that can be seen when approaching England? Land's End 'The Smugglers' (Hartnell, 1966): This is just what the name implies - where England ends. (Or, according to your viewpoint, where it begins.) Director Julia Smith wanted to use Cornwall to add flavour to the story, and use it she did! The coasdine along here is nothing short of spectacular and there is an unrivalled view of the Atlantic. Strangely enough, Land's End is not public property. It's privately owned and you must pay to visit it. The cost, however, isn't great (approximately £1.80), and there's a car park large enough to accommodate a great number of cars as well as several buses. Don't let the thought of having to pay put you off: this is definitely a 'must', if only to see how really big the ocean is. When Doctor Who filmed here, the weather was rotten -wet and windy, the land lashed with wild seas. This brings up a good point: check the forecast before venturing out here. When it storms, the weather can be fierce, fierce, fierce! Dress warmly, even in summer. Remember, there's 120   

nothing to stop the wind or even slow it down between here and America, 3,291 miles away. In winter, don't even think about visiting without your thermals. Land's End covers several acres and, while there are several well-marked footpaths, this doesn't mean all dangers have been removed. Rocks jut out of the ground determined to trip the unwary and there are absolutely no fences to prevent visitors from stepping off the top of the cliffs and crashing into the sea 200 feet below. You can literally walk right off the 'end of the world' if you're not careful. Small children and dumb adults must be watched closely and rescued from their own carelessness if necessary. Wind, sea, rocks, and a lighthouse right out of 'Fang Rock' aren't the only things you'll find at this intriguing spot. There's quite a large complex that includes exhibition rooms (imagine our surprise when we stumbled upon an entire Worzel Gummidge display complete with costumes, life-sized figures, and piped-in music with Jon Pertwee singing!), a museum devoted to marine and oceanographic studies, a souvenir shop (with good merchandise available), an ice cream parlour, the Cornish Pantry snack bar, and the State House (which has a fully-licensed bar and complete restaurant). The 'First and Last House in England', a small cottage which sits out close to the point, is a craft centre and workshop that has nifty hand-made goods at affordable prices. You can even watch the artists while they work to create your very own special souvenir. Take the A30 south-west out of Penzance direct to Land's End. Although it's only about eight miles out of the city, allow at least thirty minutes to get there as the twists and turns in the road don't encourage speed. On your way back, you might want to try the B3315, a beautiful, although narrow, winding road. If you do, about four to five miles from Land's End you'll run across the Merry Maidens. No, they aren't a strange offshoot of the Sisterhood of Karn. The Merry Maidens is a great stone circle set in the middle of (we think) a cow pasture. The field is private but you can stand 121   

at the fence and marvel at the nineteen stones. Legend has it that the stones were once maidens who didn't keep the proper Sabbath but listened and danced to the music two Pipers played one holy day. All of the maidens - and the two Pipers! were instantly changed to stone for their unpious behaviour. (The two tall, standing stones of the Pipers are down the road about another !4 mile.) During the Second World War, it was felt the stones should be pulled down so the field could be cultivated for crops. Accordingly, a team of horses was hitched to the first stone and, when the order 'gee-up!' was given, one of the horses immediately dropped over dead! Needless to say, the Merry Maidens are still standing. We told you this was a land of myth and superstition ... From Penzance, drive south and east to the first of three stops, another place of pounding surf and breathtaking scenery - Lizard's Point. Lizard's Point or The Lizard 'The Smugglers' (Hartnell, 1966): This southernmost point of England was another site Director Julia Smith used to help create an almost Du Maurier novel atmosphere for this swashbuckling episode. If it crosses your mind that Doctor Who doesn't seem to like to use easy-to-reach areas, we agree. The Lizard is no exception. Take the A30 east out of Penzance to the A394. This will take you into Helston where you pick up the A3083 south direct to the Point. Although it's only about twenty miles from your base, allow plenty of time as the roads get progressively narrower the closer you get to your destination. Must be some sort of inverse rule the BBC has cooked up to keep Doctor Who in the studio. In fact, the last mile or so, the road is extremely narrow - only one car wide - with tall hedges on either side. If you meet another car, one of you has to pull over in a 'lay-by' (an area of the road which has been widened a bit) so you can pass. Courtesy is imperative - one of you may have to back up! 122   

Once you reach the Lizard, you'll find cafes, craft and gift houses, B&B places, and a couple of car parks. Naturally, there's another light house along with a magnificent sweep of the shoreline and the sea - this time the English Channel rather than the Atlantic. There's a path leading down to Polpear Cove (below you as you look over the west cliff edge) where a seemingly deserted - and rather crumbly-looking - boathouse and concrete and wood pier are located. We're not sure if they're still in use, but rescue lifeboats used to be launched from there. Perhaps this beachy area was one of the places where the Doctor, Ben, and Polly tried to outwit the smugglers and find the buried treasure of pirate Captain Avery. We hate to sound like a broken record, but there aren't any fences at the cliff edges here, either. If you don't want to take a quick trip down to the sea (some 150 feet below!) stay back. Retracing your footsteps a bit before turning off to the west will bring you to the next location. Church Cove 'The Smugglers' (Hartnell, 1966): About twenty-five miles south-east of Penzance and just east of Lizard Point lies Church Cove - one of the main sites for this ambitious Hartnell episode - and it fits the Doctor Who 'on location' requirements perfectly. It has its own quarry! (So what if it's been deserted for years?) The TARDIS materialised in a cave here chosen by director Smith from her own knowledge of the area. At the time of the filming, the production crew had problems transporting the TARDIS mock-up (not to mention the camera equipment) into the Cove and not all their difficulties were weather-related. It's easy to see why -the 'road' leading to the quarry part of Cove is not the greatest. It must have been a nightmare for the lorries to negotiate, especially in the rotten weather they encountered. We, of course, found it only after our ungainly scramble (weighed 123   

down with purses, camera, and recording equipment) over a hill. That only goes to prove we should have done what every UNIT soldier knows to do: always scout out the lay of the land first. For some strange reason (they liked the name?), there's another Church Cove about ten miles north of Lizard's Point and slightly south-west of Cury. We're going with the one with the quarry. Although the Church Cove you want is somewhat difficult to find (and the last part of the trip must be made by foot), you'll be well rewarded once you get there. The views of the English Channel are magnificent, but do be careful - like every other place we visited with cliff edges, there's no fences, the drop is straight down to the rocks and sea below, and the ground is crumbly in wet weather. Ruan Minor, Cornwall 'The Smugglers' (Hartnell, 1966): This has been described (in other books) as a 'deserted' town near Lizard's Point used for 'atmosphere' but its very lively inhabitants (including a wolfhound that dwarfed our car) would dispute that idea. Outside of a couple of old churches here and at Ruan Major (a nearby smaller village - don't ask us why it's named Major and the larger one Minor, the names must be based on some convoluted Time Lord logic), there isn't anything remotely like a ruin nor is it in any way, shape, or form deserted. It is, however, a snug Cornwall village and interesting to see on your way to Lizard's Point. If you want to check up on us, turn off the A3083 about two miles north of Lizard's Point and follow the signs to both Ruan Minor and Ruan Major! One final note; if you 'misplace' the A3083 on your side trip to the Ruan villages as we did, you'll find yourself travelling on the Goonhilly Downs (going north to get on the B3293 to return to Penzance). There you'll be able to see the satellite communication dishes set up on the flat, windswept landscape, 124   

a bizarre but (for Doctor Who fans) a not out-of-place sight. It fits in so neatly with the concept of the show that you almost expect the Master, the Meddling Monk, or some renegade Time Lord to jump out at you in his attempts to take over the country or the world or the galaxy or the universe! Quite a distance from Penzance (some sixty-five miles to the northeast) lies one of the spookiest areas we've come across. Dartmoor 'The Sontaran Experiment' (T. Baker, 1975): Wherever the episode was filmed on the moor, it was far enough away from 'civilisation' that when Tom Baker fell and broke his collarbone, the crew had to carry him by stretcher for almost a mile to get to a road and transportation. Dartmoor lies to the north-east of Penzance and, as anyone who watched 'The Sontaran Experiment' knows, its landscape is lonely and foreboding. Sprouting out of the ground are the Tors, huge rock formations of granite that sometimes soar to more than 2,000 feet. About the only inhabitants of the moor you'll see are some herds of shy, flighty Dartmoor wild ponies. Bright lights and civilisation are definitely not in vogue here. Throughout the area are stables where you can arrange for a day's trek on horseback across the moors if you're determined to visit. All are licensed and you are accompanied by an experienced rider/guide. We can't list all of them, so if you're interested, write to the Dartmoor National Park Board, Parke, Haytor Road, Bovey Tracey, Newton Abbot and ask for a free publication, The Dartmoor Visitor. Naturally, if you're writing from overseas, send an International Reply Coupon with your inquiry. Prices are somewhere around £3 per hour up to around £12 for a full day. You don't have to drive up from Penzance to Dartmoor, you can take the train from Paddington station to Exeter, rent a car, and drive out on the B3212. Make sure you have a good ordnance survey map, don't wander far from the main roads, and watch your step if you 125   

decide to go without a trusty native guide. There are dangerous areas of bog and quicksand on Dartmoor. On reflection, you'd be luckier if you met up with Styre rather than go out on the moor alone! Iken Marshes 'The Power of Kroll (T. Baker, 1978): This episode was shot in the marsh land around Iken, a small (very small) village about fifteen miles north-east of Ipswich. Mary Tamm considered it one of the worst filming experiences she ever had - probably because both she and Tom Baker got totally stuck in the mud and couldn't move until they were rescued! Miles away from anything (the closest 'large' town is Aldeburgh and that's four miles away across the River Aide!), Iken is only three miles east of the North Sea coast, set in a bleak landscape. This is truly an 'out-of-the-way' location. If, after what we've said, you still want to visit, we suggest taking the train to Ipswich from London's Liverpool Street Station (it takes about 1 hr, 15 minutes), rent a car there, and drive. Take the A12 north out of Ipswich to Lower Hacheston. Turn east on the B1078 to Tunstall where you again turn north on the B1069. Go about one mile and follow the signs. Although we're sure you won't be bothered by Kroll (Time Lord's Honour!), we won't be responsible if you insist on getting out and tramping through the marsh on foot. Jodrell Bank Radio Telescope, Cheshire 'Logopolis' (T. Baker, 1981): This was the site of the fourth Doctor's regeneration and as such deserves a visit both to mourn the passing of one Doctor and to celebrate the 'birth' of another. Jodrell Bank is about twenty miles south of Manchester and about the same distance north from Newcastle-Under-Lyme and Stoke-on-Trent. All three cities have car hire offices and can be reached by train. Depart Euston station for 126   

Manchester(travel time approximately 1 hour, 45 minutes), and check with British Rail for schedules to the other two. Once in Manchester, take the A34 south to Alderley Edge. Pick up the A535 there and continue south about six miles. Jodrell Bank telescope will be on your right. From Stoke-onTrent or Newcastle-Under-Lyme take the A50 north to Holmes Chapel, pick up the A535 there and continue north for three miles and the telescope is on your left. We're not sure whether Jodrell Bank is open for tours or not, so check With Jodrell itself, the British Tourist Authority, or Tourist Information in London before you present yourself at their doorstep. This next location is far enough away that it can't really be seen in one day, but it's close to a day trip area. We'll leave it up to you as to how you regard it! Portland Bill (Isle of Portland) 'The Underwater Menace' (Troughton, 1967): This was one of the three stories that has dealt, in one way or another, with the lost continent of Atlantis. In it, the TARDIS lands on an extinct volcanic rock surrounded by sea which isn't a bad description of Portland Bill itself. Portland Bill is a two-mile wide peninsula linked with the mainland by the Chesil Bank, a long spit of land. The Isle is famous for the quarries which scar almost all of its level, treeless surfaces. Most visitors will be familiar with Portland stone since they've already seen it - St Paul's Cathedral, Buckingham Palace, and Whitehall were all built from it. Even American fans can claim kinship as the stone for the White House and the United Nations Headquarters was quarried here. Any good Doctor Who fan should make the pilgrimage here just to do homage to the quarries that litter the landscape! There are two castle here that are of interest - one in ruins and the other, Portland Castle, well preserved and still standing on the northern shore as it has since 1520. 127   

This is another place that isn't exactly easy to reach but, as it's off the beaten track, you won't have to fight your way through throngs of tourists, either. We suggest you travel by train from London's Waterloo station to Bournemouth (in a little over an hour) which is the closest city with a car rental. Portland Isle is approximately thirty miles south-west of there. You can take either the A35 west out of the city to Dorchester where you turn south on the A354 to the Isle or take the A35 out of the city until you come to the A351 turn-off. (This is about eight miles from the centre of town and just about two miles beyond Upton.) The A351 will take you into Wareham, home of the infamous 'BBC sandpit' used in so many of the Doctor Who episodes and 'The Caves of Androzani' in particular. From Wareham, (you're on your own finding the sandpit!), take the A352 to the A353 and merge into the A354 at Melcombe Regis. The A354 will take you onto the Isle. There's a bonus with this trip: Shapwick (Little Hodcombe in "TheAwakening') is only about ten miles northwest of Bournemouth. If you get a car, you might as well kill two Malices with one stone and swing through it while you're in the neighbourhood. Take the A35 west to the A350 (less than a mile beyond Upton), the turn-off to Shapwick is only about four miles further on to your right, just follow the signs. Skegness Beach, Lincolnshire 'Fury from the Deep' (Troughton, 1968): This story supposedly took place at a North Sea gas refinery and (wonder of wonders!) a beach actually on the North Sea was used for filming. The Weed Creatures threatened Victoria and the rest but for once the monsters were thwarted by a companion's scream - killed dead, by Victoria's lung power! (Knew all that practising would come in handy!) After all that, she bowed out in this show's final episode. Skegness is a seaport on the north-east coast at one end of a great bay called The Wash. Its train station is not on the main line. You can take a train from King's Cross Station to Lincoln 128   

(approximately two hours), and probably connect with Skegness there or depart from St Pancras station to go to Nottingham (again, about two hours) to make your connection. Check with any British Rail office for exact times, etc. There is a car rental office in Lincoln so you could get a car there and drive, the A158 takes you direcdy from Lincoln to Skegness. Scotland Land of the kilt and bagpipes, this is not a separate country (although the banks, banknotes, church, and law courts are different) no matter what most red-blooded Scots and Jamie tell you! Have no fear, your English pound notes will be readily accepted and there's no difference in the exchange rates. It's just that the Scots have never forgotten they were an ancient and independent kingdom who merged with England of their own free will. Inverness is the 'Capital of the Highlands' and is marvellous for your base to explore Doctor Who sites. You can reach it by overnight sleeper from London's Euston station, leaving about 2210 one night and arriving about 0900 the next morning. The trip takes about ten hours so do whatever your time allows. If you decide on the sleeper, make sur6 you reserve your berth ahead of time. The car rental office is (thoughtful of them) inside the station. Just outside the main doors of the station is a taxi stand. We found it's possible to rent a taxi for several hours to ferry you to your stops, leaving you free to watch the scenery instead of trying to navigate. Make sure you and the driver agree on the price you're going to pay. The Tourist Information Centre is on Church Street if you need any help in booking a room or just picking up pamphlets of local interest. Take Union Street (perpendicular to the front of the train station) to where it runs into Church Street and turn left. 129   

Jamie's capital city has a rich history all of its own. Controversy still rages as to whether Macbeth killed King Duncan in the old castle (Auld Castlehill, to the east of the present day Castlehill) or in Cawdor Castle just 4 Vi miles south of the city. The Castle of Inverness now occupies the site of an ancient fortress blown up by Jacobites in 1746 (with Jamie's help?) and Clock Tower is all that remains of a fort erected by Cromwell's army ('The Awakening'). There are many inexpensive hotels, guesthouses, and B&B places in Inverness and the surrounding countryside if you'd like to stay over for a few days. We do recommend you book ahead as this is quite a popular tourist area as well as the site for the 'Mod', a regular Scottish get-together showing off skills in sports, dancing, singing and piping. Culloden 'The Highlanders' (Troughton, 1966): This is where Jamie was supposed to be when he first met the Doctor while fleeing theDukeofCumberland'srampagingarmyon 16 April, 1746. Culloden Moor is where Bonnie Prince Charlie (Stewart) and his Jacobite army were finally crushed, ending forever the Stewart family's claim to the throne of England. It's a lonely, wind-swept (wear your thermal underwear!), boggy plain about six miles north-east of Inverness. A cairn marks the site on Drummossie Muir where the battle (all forty minutes of it) raged. At the end, 1,200 out of the 5,000 who'd fought for the Prince met violent ends while the King's army lost only 310. Today there's a well-equipped centre at Culloden that not only has a museum, but a gift shop and a tea-room when you need a break from the bleakness of the moor. There's even an audio-visual presentation available to help you to see what the battle must have been like for Jamie and what the Doctor must have found when he materialised out of the vortex. Leanach Cottage - within a few feet of the Centre - was smack in the midst of that terrible battle in 1746. It's still standing and was actually inhabited up until 1912. Now 130   

restored to what it was in Prince Charlie's time, it's open to the public, complete with authentic Scottish music. Most of the songs while we were there were laments, entirely appropriate and strangely evocative considering the surroundings. Take the A9 south out of Inverness for about one mile if you're driving yourself, and turn off on the B9006. This will take you directly to Culloden. It's about four miles from the city. Loch Ness 'Terror of the Zygons' (T. Baker, 1975): The actual filming of this episode took place outside Bognor Regis in Sussex, but this is the real thing! Legendary home of Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster, this was a fitting pool for the Zygon's Skarasen. The Loch (a Scottish name for lake) is a part of the Great Glen, a geological fault that slashes across Scodand like a sword-cut. The lake is twenty-four miles long, about a mile across, and has an average depth of 400 feet. The waters are very murky (due to the peaty soil carried into it by the eight rivers feeding it), and that helps hide whatever's swimming around in its cold, unexplored depths. Along its shores are the remains of Castle Urquhart, blown up in the late 1600s to prevent it from becoming a Jacobite stronghold. The Duke of Forgill's castle no doubt was inspired by this well-known Scottish landmark, especially as most of the sightings of Nessie happen here. Legend says there are caves below Urquhart Castle where colonies of the 'real' Nessie live. Believe what you want, sightings of something have been reported since the sixth century on by such 'unimpeachable' sources as St Columba who was supposed to have stopped a River Ness water monster from eating a Pict! A fourteenthcentury map tells chillingly of 'waves without wind, fish without fins, [and] islands that float'. Over the past forty years, sightings have been claimed by more than 1,000 people; special 'sighting squads' have been funded, and even 131   

underwater exploration and aerial searches have been carried out - all without any real, hard proof. Maybe you'll be lucky on your visit and get to shake Nessie's flipper! Take the A82 south out of Inverness, and it's about fifteen miles to Castle Urquhart. The Castle is open to the public, but you'd better check with Tourist Information on the times. On your way to or from the Loch, stop off at Drumnadrochit, on the A82 about two miles before you get to Urquhart Castle, at the entrance to Glen Urquhart. This pleasant little hamlet houses the Loch Ness Exhibition where you can see pictures, movies of the monster, and learn about serious attempts by scientists to solve the mystery. There's even (naturally!) a gift shop where you can buy items both Scottish (wonderful woollens) and monsterish (T-shirts with Nessie glaring out at you). A restaurant is next door and perfect to slack your hunger. After all, monster-hunting, whether searching for the Skarasen or Nessie, can make you ravenous! You like to travel? Good. Try a visit to our next spot! Wales Wales has been used for several episodes of Doctor Who for one simple reason - the train service is excellent, which means large convoys of trucks are unnecessary and the accountants get to save money. Of course, there aren't many (any?) trains to the middle of this beautiful, green land so most of the filming has been done in the north or the south. The BBC's logic is incredible, isn't it? Blaenavon, South Wales 'The Pirate Planet' (T. Baker, 1978): This small Welsh town in Gwent and the surrounding green foot hills were used for some of the outdoor locations showing Zanak, the Mentiads, and the Captain's soldiers 'on manoeuvres'. Blaenavon is about thirty-eight miles from Bristol (and the Oldbury Nuclear Power Station used in 'The Hand of Fear' 132   

and just south of the Black Mountains. If you intend to drive from Bristol (which you've reached by train out of London's Paddington Station), take the M5 to the M4, turn northwest and go across the Severn Bridge to Newport. From there, take the A4042 north to Pontypool and the A4043. Drive north along the A4043 and the River Avon-Iwyd for about six miles to Blaenavon. You can also take the train from London's Paddington Station to Cardiff in about two hours. Rent a car in Cardiff and drive approximately ten miles south-west on the A48 to Newport and then follow the preceding directions. Although South Wales has some beautiful scenery -ranging from soft, rolling land to the steeper foot hills of the Black Mountain - it is highly unlikely you will run across a rebel (or otherwise) band of Mentiads. Praise the Company! Nantyglo, South Wales 'The Pirate Planet' (T. Baker, 1978): This is another small Welsh town in Gwent (along the Welsh borders). At the head of the Ebbw Fach valley, Nantyglo is about five miles northwest from Blaenavon (by road) or about three miles as the Pirate Captain's Polyphase Avatron machine flies. It, like Zanak, has a dark history which can be seen in the remains of brothers Joseph and Crawshay Bailey's demolished mansion and park. They built an ironworks there in the 1820s and treated their labourers so poorly that they had to build two towers and hire armed men to keep their own workers from storming them. True relatives in ambition, if not blood, to good old Queen Xanxia herself! If you're driving from Blaenavon, take the B4248 north to Brynmawr and go south on the A467. Brecon Beacons 'The Pirate Planet'(T. Baker, 1978): The underground scenes representing the hollow world of Zanak were filmed here in the caves of Brecon Beacons National Park. 133   

The peaks of this park are" composed of red sandstone which gleam in the sun like beacons, giving the range its name. There are a number of striking caves in the chain, including Danyr Ogof which is floodlit for visitors. The park isn't far from Nantyglo. Retrace your steps to Brynmawr and take the A465 west to Glyn-Neath where you pick up the A4109. About 4 !4 miles along the road, continue straight on the A4221 for another three miles and turn right Onto the A4067; Dan yr Ogof is only about four miles further. The next area of Wales you might want to try is much further north, close to the west coast and not readily accessible from southern Wales. Portmeirion, North-West Wales 'The Masque of Mandragora' (T. Baker, 1976): The strange litde town of Italian aspect, created by Welsh architect Clough Williams-Ellis, was used as the entire setting of 'The Masque of Mandragora'. Care was taken in filming to present only the more obvious Italian type of architecture to disguise the fact that it had been used previously for a television series; it was the Village in the 1960s series, The Prisoner*. Portmeirion is on the upper north-western coast of Wales and we'd be pulling your leg if we said it was easy to reach. There's a train that goes to Porthmadog - about four miles almost due west - where you can hire a taxi but not a car. Depending on the weather and the state of your shoes, you could always hike, but it's unlikely that you'll find any horses to rent. Count Federico seems to have cornered the local market. The village, described as part Italianate, part Welsh, and mostly eclectic, is private but may be visited from Easter to October on payment of a toll. The size of the toll is based on the size of the crowd: the more people already in the village, the more the toll - a sort of instant crowd control! Have no fear, the fee is usually £1 or under. 134   

Accommodation should be available as the hotel which was damaged by fire in 1981 was scheduled to be rebuilt by 1984. Unless it's high season, you'd probably be able to find something in Porthmadog. Maenturog (or Maentwrog), North Wales 'The Five Doctors' (1983): Much of the filming of the Death Zone locations and the Dark Tower for the Twentieth Anniversary Special were done near this small Welsh village on the edge of Snowdonia National Park. During their stay, the weather was bitterly cold and all the cast and crew suffered. Well, maybe not all - the actor portraying the Yeti was reasonably comfortable in his shaggy costume. Not so fortunate were Jon Pertwee and Lis Sladen. They were so cold they had to stand around before their scenes were shot slapping their cheeks so they didn't register blue on the colour monitors! Maenturog is about six miles west of Portmeirion and about four miles south from Blaenau Ffestiniog, a Welsh slatemining town that has been preserved, and is now, like Ironbridge Gorge, a fascinating centre for crafts. It got its name from a large standing stone called 'Twrog's Stone' which stands beside its church porch. Somewhat off the beaten track, you'd better plan on using a car. The closest car rental office that we were able to find was in Wrexham, about fifty-five miles away. There's a train service to Penrhyndeudraeth (a town half-way between Maenturog and Portmeirion) but you'd have to check with British Rail for times, trains, and cost. From there you could conceivably hire a taxi to visit both Portmeirion and Maenturog. There also appears to be a train service between Chester (which can be reached from London's Euston station in about three hours) and Blaenau Ffestiniog, but you'll have to check about the connections out of Chester. Nant Ffrancon (Snowdonia National Park) Wales 135   

'The Abominable Snowmen' (Troughton, 1966): Snowdonia National Park was chosen by director Gerald Blake to represent Tibet. Because of the cast's prior commitments, shooting had to be done in August so there wasn't any snow available. Mother Nature tried her darnedest to help, however, by dropping the temperature to unseasonably frigid levels. Frazer Hines suffered the most, attired as he was in his windswept kilt. The actors playing the Yeti were the warmest covered as they were up to and over their eyebrows in fake fur - but they came in for their own brand of trouble. When their latex rubber feet gave them absolutely no purchase in the soft Welsh turf, time and again they skidded and slipped, sliding this way and that before falling flat. The rest of the cast found it hilarious, but not all those Yeti snarls and growls recorded on tape were in the script! Nant Ffrancon isn't a village but a pass between the Glyder and Carnedd mountain ranges. It's about five miles north of Mount Snowdon, 'monarch' of all mountains in England and Wales, and the road (the A5) actually forms the watershed in that area. A stream on one side flows to Ogwen and the sea near Bangor while on the other side it flows to Llugwy and the sea at Conway. No wonder it was chosen for a substitute for Tibet! Reaching Snowdonia National Park can be quite an adventure. There is no train service - as far as we can tell directly to the Park, so you either have to go to Chester, Wrexham, or Llandudno where you can rent a car and do the rest of your touring by four wheels. Luckily, all of the above towns have good train service, you just need to search out the times, trains, and cost before zooming off on your way. By the way, if you see a very large, furry hitchhiker standing on the side of the road . . . maybe you'd better pass him by! In between the first two groupings and far to the east (actually just inside the Welsh border) is Welshpool.


Powys Castle, Welshpool, Wales 'Warriors' Gate' (T. Baker, 1981): This was the stately home pictured at the end of the episode, supposedly on the other side of a time-gateway populated by the Tharils in E-space. Romana stayed there - with K9 and Biroc - to avoid going back to Gallifrey. Powys Castle is a largely preserved thirteenth to fourteenthcentury casde (restored in the sixteenth century) that was built of red sandstone. It has beautifully terraced gardens, laid out in the early eighteenth century, and some of the largest oaks in Britain in its park. It is open the first week in April and then from May to September, Wednesday to Sunday (also on Tuesdays in July and ^August). Confused? Sc* were we. Because of its somewhat erratic schedule, we think it's best to check with Tourist Information on the exact days and times. Located approximately sixteen miles west of Shrewsbury (where a car rental office is available) Welshpool and Powys are accessible by train in about three hours from London's Euston Station. Shrewsbury is also only about fifteen miles north-west from the Ironbridge Trust Museum. To drive from Shrewsbury, take the A458 to Welshpool. Powys Castle is less than a mile south of there off the A483. There's also a train that runs daily from Cardiff to Shrewsbury and takes about 2 hours and 10 minutes. We hope our groupings of the various long-range Doctor Who location sites help you plan your own trip. You probably won't be able to fit them all into your schedule, but we urge you to try and include at least one. When they were able, the various producers and directors chose some terrific places not only to film but to visit. No matter which one you see, we're sure you won't be disappointed. Overseas with the Doctor Once in a very great while, the producer is able to juggle the budget enough to get out of Britain to other countries. (This doesn't mean that the basic Doctor Who drive to find newer 137   

and different quarries is entirely thwarted. Not by a long shot. Sometimes it seems that the location manager has a divining stick and he can seek them out even over great distances - see Lanzarote.) In this section, we're going to give you some information that will make a side trip to any of these locations a little easier. We can only give you basic information, however: you'll need to consult your travel agent, library, or 500-year diary for anything beyond these bare bones. After all, some travel books are seven hundred or more pages long - a mite more than we have. Amsterdam, Holland Arc of Infinity' (Davison, 1982): Much of this episode was filmed in and around the streets and canals of the capital of the Netherlands. Apart from the new costumes for Tegan and Nyssa, one of the most memorable shots of the episode was the first appearance of the Giant Chicken Of The Crypt. Getting to Holland from London is not that difficult. In fact, it can be accomplished by train (either in a daylight trip or overnight and using a sleeper) or by plane. If you fly, the round-trip fare by British Airways is about £55 and you'll land at Schiphol Airport - one of the places used in the episode where Tegan was supposed to meet her cousin! By train (for the overnight trip), leave via London's Liverpool Street Station at 1940 which gets you into the Hook of Holland at 0630 the next day. Then take the train at 0731 at the Hook which gets you into Amsterdam's Centraal Station at 0903. The whole trip takes about thirteen hours. Second class fare is about £42 one way which includes a sleeping berth/cabin on the ship over. Returning is just about as easy - depart Amsterdam at 2050 and arrive back at Liverpool Street Station the next day at 0914. You could do it all in one day, but it would be hectic and you'd probably find yourself exhausted at the end of it. Consider staying in Amsterdam at least one night. 138   

The Dutch monetary system consists of gulden (guilder or florin) and is written either as f, fl., Hfl., or Dfl. Each guilder is divided into 100 cents; there are coins of 1 guilder, 2.5 guilders, 5, 10, and 25 cents; and the notes are of 5, 10, 25,50,100, and 1,000 guilders. Amsterdam is more expensive than the countryside. Consider that when budgeting. One way to save money would be to try a canal-house hotel. They're similar to the B&Bs in England in that they include a gigantic breakfast in their price. (The emphasis is not so much on bacon and eggs as on cheese, ham, several kinds of Dutch bread, butter, and milk. Wow! After one of these breakfasts, you're pretty well set for the day.) These houses are narrow and their stairs steep. Don't let that deter you, though - older tourists are always put on the ground or first floor and younger ones, well, isn't this an adventure? There are also small hotels off the canals as well as private homes that rent out rooms (with breakfast) to tourists at somewhere between thirty to Fifty-five guilders a night per person. Plan ahead and you should be able to find something under £11 anight. A guide to help you find a budget place to stay is Frommer's Europe on $25 a Day or check with the official Dutch tourist organisation (NNT at: Vlietweg, 15, 2266KA Lied-schendam, Amsterdam). The VVV (abbreviation for local Dutch tourist offices) in Amsterdam can also help you find a room upon arrival at a small cost if you haven't already booked ahead. The Dutch Youth Hostel Association (NJHC, Prof. Tulpstraat 4, Amsterdam; tel. 020-264433) accepts persons aged 14-35 who are members and anyone in that age range can join at any hostel (not necessary for IYHF members). The price is about fl. 12-18 per person per night with breakfast included. The main caution for any of these is: book ahead. A brief discussion of food is probably pertinent here: you can find inexpensive meals, especially at the Dutch sandwich shops (broodjeswinkels) located almost everywhere. Two or three sandwiches (broodjes) and milk (a Dutch treat!) are filling and relatively inexpensive, averaging fl.3-8. 139   

If you want something more exotic, try one of the Indonesian or Chinese-Indonesian restaurants that serve bami goreng or nasi goreng - plates of either rice or noodles covered with thin strips of meat (ham or pork) and topped off with a fried egg. The whole thing is garnished with lettuce and pickles. It sounds strange, but so do some of the Doctor's concoctions. At least this tastes good as well as being inexpensive, rarely more than fl.8 for lunch! For supper, you can find restaurants that serve meals under £7, but you need to shop around. This is where your big budget travel book comes in handy. In Amsterdam, the way to travel is the trolley. There are fifteen routes they follow, ten of which travel to and from the Centraal Station. You can purchase unlimited-travel tickets for one, two, or three days at fl.7.85, fl.ll, and fl. 13 or you can buy a strip of six tickets (strippenkaart) for fl.4.75 at a time. Most trips within the central area of Amsterdam require two tickets, so decide for yourself which would be the most sensible for you. If you see as much of the city in as short a time as possible, take a canal boat ride. Most of Amsterdam's historic houses are along its fifty canals. (Besides, Omega died on one of these jetties: you might even see the exact one!) No better way exists than the canal boats to see essential Amsterdam in about 1 hour and 15 minutes. The departure docks of the tour companies can be spotted by a sign reading Rondvaart (roundtrip) at various waterside locations. All charge the same price (fl.9 at this printing); offer essentially the same tour; leave generally at half-hour intervals; and, beginning around 15 May, offer night-time tours so you can see the city's seventeenth-century houses illuminated - a marvellous sight. If you'd rather see the city by motorcoach, there are several tours that begin every day at 10 am from tour offices up and down the Damrak (one of the main streets/canals). The standard price is fl.32, but check first as the price may go up. 140   

You'll be in good company if you decide to rent a bike many of the Doctor Who cast and crew did! Rent-a-Bike is located in the basement of the Centraal Station (to the right as you're facing the main entrance, in the brown-brick wing). It's open seven days a week from 5.30 am to 5.30 pm (hours slightly different on Saturday and Sunday) and charges fl.6 per day, fl.30 per week after a refundable deposit of fl.200 (around $70). If you want to see more of Holland than Amsterdam, Ena's Bike Tours (phone 015-143797) will take you along carefully selected scenic country lanes, stop to visit a working windmill and a farm where they make cheese, and even take a boat ride at a lake! Either pack a picnic lunch or dine at a restaurant at the lake - the tours leave daily 1 June through 1 October at 10 am from various points in Amsterdam and return about 5.30 pm. Total cost is about fl. 10, which includes the bike, the cheese farm, the windmill visit, and the boat ride. Call for reservations. There are hundreds of other places to visit and things to see in this fascinating city that we simply don't have space to mention. (For instance: the world-famous museums, the breweries, the diamond cutters, the overwhelmingly divergent kinds of entertainment, etc.) You'll have to search them out for yourself. One thing the Doctor wouldn't want you to miss is Anne Frank's house. It's found at 263 Prinsengracht (around the corner from the West Church) and is open weekdays from 9-5, Sundays from 10-5 for an admission of fl.4. The house can be reached by either the Number Thirteen or Number Seventeen trolley. If you'd like to spend a little more time exploring, check with the VVV. They have a 1-3 day low cost inclusive programme known as 'The Amsterdam Way' which has lots of free extras and might help you stretch your budget. One final word of caution: although the city of Amsterdam is relatively safe, it's best to avoid the area around the Centraal Station at night. After dark, that section is pretty open and 141   

free-wheeling and you may find yourself in situations where you wish you weren't. Paris, France 'City of Death' (T. Baker, 1979): This was the first episode to be filmed outside the confines of Great Britain and, predictably, was filmed in what many consider to be the most fascinating city in the world. The Eiffel Tower, the Louvre, the streets of the City of Lights, and even the Metro – all were used by the Doctor* Romana, and the delightfully dogged Duggan in their attempt to save the world from Scaroth. The fastest way to Paris is via British Airways (we told you we'd lost the plans for the transmat!) which will cost about £78 round trip, and gets you into Charles De Gaulle Airport. The fastest, most inexpensive way to get into Paris from there is by the Roissy Rail - bus-train which will take you from the airport to Paris's Gare du Nord train station. You have to look for the signs or ask, but it's only about 20 francs (£1.75). Besides flying, you can also get to Paris via train and either ship or hovercraft. By rail/ship during the day, you depart from London's Victoria and arrive at either Paris St Lazare or Paris Nord. The trip takes between eight to ten hours, depending upon your departure time. There is also an overnight rail/ship that departs about 2100 hours and arrives in Paris Nord at 0853 the next day. This only costs about £24 (one way) but there are no sleeping accommodations on the night service! By rail/hovercraft (again during the day) you depart from Charing Cross and arrive at Paris Nord in about seven hours. Either of these costs about £39 one-way, second class. The returns are about the same, the overnight leaves Paris Nord about 2240 and arrives at Victoria at about 0758, but again, there is no sleeping accommodation. British Rail has also started offering tours of Paris, at extremely reasonable prices. This includes round trip transportation with choice of ship or hovercraft crossing, all port and harbour taxes, and accommodation in Paris with bath 142   

or shower, continental breakfast, taxes and service. Check with your travel agent. The French monetary system is based on the franc. At the time of this writing, $1 equalled about 8 francs and £1 equalled about 11 francs. There are 100 centimes in a franc and there are 5, 10, 20, and 50 centime coins; 1,2,5, and 10 franc coins; and notes (or bills) of 10, 20, 50, 100, 200, and 500 francs. A 5 centime coin is often called un sou. Paris is often described as one of the most expensive cities on earth and we're sure you're wondering how you can survive in a place that wants to gobble your hard-earned money. Well, don't despair! Paris can be tamed (even the Creature in the Pit was pretty harmless after it was able to communicate with the Doctor) but it requires a good bit of homework on your part. Again we recommend Frommer's Guide to Europe on $25 Dollars a Day as being an Outstanding book to help you find specific inexpensive hotel rooms and places to eat. The official Paris tourist office is located at 127, Avenue des Champs Elysees, tel. 7236172. It's open daily 9 am to 10 pm, and on Sundays from 9 am to 8 pm. They will help with hotel reservations but not more than five days in advance. A quick suggestion: the Left Bank (south of the River Seine) is considered much less expensive than the Right Bank (north of the River). It's also where the Eiffel Tower, the Sorbonne, and Notre Dame Cathedral are located and where students and artists traditionally gather. (Naturally, the Doctor felt right at home here in his Bohemian dress.) There are a lot of rooms available for between 75-150 francs ($9.50-18.75) for singles and 90-295 francs ($11.25-37) for doubles . . . and most include breakfast. It's exactly what the Doctor ordered! Speaking of breakfast, in Paris it's not what you're used to in London or Amsterdam. Breakfast consists of coffee, tea, or chocolate, with rolls and butter and not unlimited quantities. If you order extras, you will pay for extras. Make sure that your hotel room rate is inclusive of all forms of taxes, services, and 143   

really does include your breakfast. This avoids unexpected (and how!) extra costs. All right, you've reached Paris (hopefully with a hotel room already reserved). Now you're ready for your first encounter with one of the Doctor Who shooting locations - the Metro! Yes, that's right, the very means by which you can get around this fabulous city cheaply and quickly is almost one of the first things the Doctor was filmed using on his historic trip. The Parisian subway is no harder to use than its London counterpoint. There are fourteen subway lines and although you will usually have to make at least one change (correspondance) to get to your destination, there is a 'magic' map next to the ticket booth in most Metro stations. Just press a button opposite the name of the station where you want to go and immediately the board lights up, showing the two lines you must take to reach your destination! Ah, modern technology. It's almost as good as having the Doctor travelling with you. The second class subway fare to any point in the city is 5 francs but a book (comet) of ten tickets is only 30 francs which reduces each ticket to about 3 francs. Always buy your tickets by the book! Every tourist (the Doctor included) likes to eat and Paris is the gourmet capital of the world. But, taking a look at the prices in some restaurants, you could conclude that you need the riches of more than one world to avert starvation! Certain planning is necessary if you want to avoid La Soupe Populaire, a Salvation Army-type soup kitchen that's available if you're down to your last few sous. There are many lowpriced restaurants where food is excellent and prices reasonable. Do your homework. We can give you some tips to help you keep your costs down: (1) stick to soup as your opening course, it's cheap (6-7 francs) and good as well as reviving: (2) an omelette as a main course is a wise choice and rarely more than 15 francs: (3) steak/rites, a small, ^thin steak with a mound of french fries is usually available at a cost of 20-25 francs; (4) bistros with prix fixe meals - a set three or 144   

four course meal for one lump sum - are great if you have time for a leisurely meal; and (5) buy your own ingredients - bread, cheese, pate, salads, etc, from a Parisian charcuterie (delicatessen) to picnic in your hotel room. Wine is very inexpensive while the price of soft drinks can make your hair curl even more than the fourth Doctor's on a rainy day. Be choosy and plan ahead. If you have only a day or two to spend in Paris, then an escorted sightseeing tour is almost a necessity. One of the best, most comprehensive tours of Paris is given by Cityrama. They have a fleet of glass-enclosed double-decker buses with easychair-type seats and headphones that are hooked up to a tape recorded commentary available in seven languages. You dial your language, sit hack, and absorb Paris in one sitting. The tour lasts three hours, costs 137 francs (around $18), and leaves at 9:30, 10, and 11 am and at 1, 2, and 3.30 pm from 4, Place des Pyramids, which is off the Rue de Rivoli, near the Louvre, directly opposite the Tuileries Metro stop. Another sightseeing tour you won't want to miss is by boat along the Seine. The Bateaux Mouches tour boats run from 10 am to 11 pm and:the fare is 20 francs. They depart from a dock on the Right Bank next to the Pont de l'Alma. (The Metro stop is Alma Marceau.) Naturally, two well-known sites you won't want to miss are the Louvre (does the Mona Lisa really have This is a Jake! written in felt-tip pen under its paint!) and the Eiffel Tower. The Metro stop for the Louvre is the Palais Royal and the BirHakeim or Trocadero for the Eiffel Tower. The Metro stop for Notre Dame Cathedral is the Cite; the Etoile for the Arc de Triomphe; and the Franklin D. Roosevelt for the Champs Elysees. Virtually all the monuments and museums (including the Louvre) are closed on Tuesdays - don't be disappointed! To be really money-wise, schedule your trip to the Louvre on Sunday when no admission is charged. Paris has so many other attractions, museums, monuments, cathedrals, and sights that we couldn't possibly begin to list 145   

them all. Go, sample, and enjoy yourself. Maybe you won't be lucky enough to run into the Doctor on your trip, but thank your lucky stars you also won't run into a two-faced, supercilious Count! Seville, Spain 'The Two Doctors' (C. Baker and Troughton, 1984): Seville was substituted when New Orleans didn't work out and most of the recognisable parts of the episode were filmed in the heart of the city. The Cathedral, the Barrio Santa Cruz, La Giralda Tower, and the famous horse-drawn carriages were all central to the show but if you time your visit correctly, you won't run into the excessive heat the cast and crew did! Seville is not just a hop and a skip from London and the only practical means by which to travel there is air (assuming you don't have unlimited time to spend on your trip). Air Iberia will get you to Seville airport - for somewhere between £89 and £199 round trip depending on the season - and a taxi will get you into the city fairly cheaply. Spain's currency is the peseta, which is worth about $.006 in US terms, one dollar being equal to about 162 pesetas or £1 equal to about 234 pesetaswThere are also centimos, units of currency so low they're almost worthless, so you don't have to worry too much about them. It takes 100 centimos to equal 1 peseta and you saw how much that's worth. There is a 100 peseta coin. Now that is copper in colour and about the same size as the 5-peseta coin. Don't get them confused! Besides the 5 and 100 pts. coins, there are 1, 15, and 50 pts. coins. Spanish bills come in 100, 500, 1000 and 5000 notes. (Because of the exchange rate, it isn't unusual to see hotel rooms, meals, clothing, and other things priced at 2,000 pesetas or more. Please don't faint - 2,000 pesetas is around £12. The high season is July to August (the temperature's pretty high at that time, too!) and hotel reservations.are an absolute must. Rooms run from as low as 900 pts. (around $5) for a single to 6000 pts. ($37) for a double with a private bath. 146   

Unlike Amsterdam, Paris, and London, breakfast is not included with your room. A good guide for moderately priced hotels (as well as restaurants that don't break your pocketbook) is Frommer's Spain & Morocco Plus the Canary Islands On $35 a Day. Seville is not cheap. Most restaurant meals start out around 1000 pts. and move upward very quickly (there goes your plan to try and out-eat Shockeye and the second Doctor!) but don't be fooled into eating in the cheap, unhygienic restaurants. If you do, you may end up spending more money on medical treatment than a decent meal ever would have cost you. 'Spanish Tummy' hit most of the cast and crew while they were filming: try not to let it get a bite out of you! One reason the restaurants are pretty pricey is the number of cafe's, mesones, and bodegas that serve tapes (snacks) of shrimp or some kind of seafood, sandwiches, and a variety of sausages at the bar but do not provide tables or waiter service. There are also many coffee and pastry shops where you can slack your hunger without destroying your budget. VVe must warn you about the increasingly frequent daylight robberies and purse-snatchings in Spain in general and Seville in particular. The city has been hit by a fairly massive crime wave in recent years, often staged by gangs of rampaging youths. Maria Luisa Park is especially dangerous as is the highway leading to Jerez de la Frontera and Cadiz. Cameras and pbeketbooks are especially vulnerable, even in cars while you are driving! It has been suggested that you avoid carrying more than small amounts of cash on your person and only one credit card (if that!) when you go out. Leave your passport and traveller's cheques in your hotel safe, take precautions when wandering the streets, and always have a taxi deliver you to your hotel door when out after dark. Luckily (considering the above), taxis are quite reasonable. The fare starts at 48 pts., with increments of 3 pts. every fifteen seconds. There are supplements for suitcases (15 pts. each); Sundays and holidays (30 pts.); night fares between 147   

midnight and 6 am (35 pts.); leaving a station (30 pts.); and to or from the airport (100 pts). Most taxis can take up to four people. Now you want to see the sights - especially those relating to Doctor Who. Well, outside of the Dona Arana's hacienda which is beyond the city limits, most of the action took place in the centre of town. The Cathedral (whose bells the Doctor recognised half-way across the galaxy) dominates much of Seville and is located on the Plaza Virgen de los Reyes. It's the largest cathedral in Spain, only St Peter's in Rome and St Paul's in London are larger, and dates from the late 1400s. The remains of Christopher Columbus lie enshrined within its walls and you'll find some minor works by Goya, Murillo, and Zurbaran in its treasury. There is an admission charge (125 pts.); the viewing hours are variable - check before going; and shorts and T-shirts are not allowed. The Cathedral tower, home of the bell the Doctor recognised, is called La Giralda and started life as a Moorish tower in the twelfth century. It's located at Plaza del Triunfo and is considered to be to Seville what Big Ben is to London. Yes, you can climb it (surprise: there's no stairs, just an enormous, seemingly endless ramp), and, once you reach the top, the whole of Seville is spread out at your feet.-Another nice surprise - admission is only 25 pts. Not very far away is the Barrio Santa Cruz, an area that used to be the old Jewish section of the city and is now the aristocratic quarter of Old Seville. This is where the second Doctor and Shockeye tried to eat their way through Oscar's restaurant. Strangely enough, this section also has the majority of the nifty eating places in Seville. (Maybe the second Doctor really did know what he was doing when he took the Androgum there!) If you wander through it, you'll find streets no bigger than alleyways, flower-filled balconies draped with bougainvillea, wrought-iron gates bordering patios filled with fountains, and sleepy squares fragrant with orange blossoms. It's beautiful, a picture postcard of Spain but remember 148   

exercise caution strolling through here, particularly at night - it has also been the setting for many robberies. One less tiring way to see the city is by coche caballos - the horse-drawn carriages used in the show. They can be found and rented at the Plaza Virgen de los "Reyes outside the Cathedral entrance. As you've probably guessed, this isn't the most inexpensive way of travel, so get a group together to help spread the cost. Make sure you and the coachman agree on a price before you start but don't worry, it really is okay to bargain a little first. There's plenty more to see in Seville (after all, it was also the 'home' of Don Juan, Carmen, and the painter Murillo) including flamenco dancers, an Andalusian hacienda, and a Moorish palace whose beauty rivals that of Granada's Alhambra but they, unfortunately, weren't used in the episode. The Seville tourist office is at 9, Avenida de la Constitucion; the police station is on Plaza de la Gavidia (tel. 22-88-40), and most banks are open from 9 am to 2 pm Monday through Saturday. Never, but never go out of the bank counting money - always conceal it before hitting the sidewalk! Take a couple of days to soak up the scenery and the more relaxed Spanish way of life. Enjoy yourself but take precautions so you don't become another crime statistic -after all, you don't want to end up in a situation right out of The Professionals. Lanzarote, Canary Islands 'Planet of Fire' (Davison, 1984): The Canary Islands (Lanzarote in particular) were the location for this episode, thanks to director Fiona Cumming. After vacationing there, she suggested the site as a perfect spot for the show and then sat nibbling her fingernails when no director was announced to do that particular show. Finally she couldn't take it any longer, went to JNT, and demanded to know who the lucky director was. He stared and said, 'You, of course! You suggested it.' The rest, as they say, is history. 149   

As Lanzarote is a Spanish possession, all the preceding information on money outlined in the Seville section applies. Unfortunately there is a general drug problem throughout all of Spain since relaxation of the laws, which has resulted in increased crime. (Yes, even paradise has its troubles.) This has necessitated an extended baggage inspection at airports and means you may have to wait up to two hours after landing on the island to clear customs. One 'good' thing; the Spanish airlines are given preference, so if you fly Air Iberia you may not have to,wait so long. Lanzarote is the most easterly of the Canary Islands and lies off the west coast of Africa and is most readily reached by air. (If you want to hire a punt and try your hand, be our guest. We doubt, however, if you can get a pole long enough to reach bottom.) According to ancient myths, the Canaries are the peaks of the lost continent of Adantis. Great! Doctor Who has - to date - offered three different versions as to what happened to the lost continent, so you should feel right at home. Although the Canaries seem to have cornered the market on sunshine, most of the other islands are rather muggy due to their central mountains. As Lanzarote doesn't have any true mountains, all the warm, dry winds from Africa sweep the humidity away. The climate is marvellous -the average temperature ranges from 64 degrees Fahrenheit in January to 74 degrees Fahrenheit in August - so it's no wonder so many English vacation here. With all that going for it, it's too bad you almost need the TARDIS to get there. We couldn't find any direct flights from London to Lanzarote; it seems you have to go to Seville (or someplace in Spain) to get there via Air Iberia. The round trip from Seville is around 19,500 pts. ($120 or £83); you have to pay for your airfare to Seville on top of that; and Iberia only flies to Lanzarote on Fridays and Mondays! Now, it's possible there are package flights out of London via Iberia Airlines but the airlines wouldn't give us any hints even when we asked. 150   

Laurie is convinced it's either a plot on the Master's part or a case of 'you can't get there from here!' If, in spite of the above obstacles, you manage to get to Lanzarote, you'll find there are a few places to stay that won't entirely deplete your resources but we can't stress enough that you must book ahead! Frommer's Spain and Morocco Plus the Canary Islands on $35 Dollars a Day is an enormous help, but be prepared to spend between 2500-5200 pts. ($15.50-32.00 or £11-22) per day for a single and 1500-5700 pts. ($9-35 or £624) per day for a double. At least these prices include a continental breakfast. The food prices are comparable to Seville (this is an island, remember, a lot has to be imported) but native wine is very inexpensive if you buy it in the vineyard bodegas. Plan on sticking with botded water - either carbonated or plain -if you don't want to come down with 'Spanish tummy'. (Don't forget that this applies to brushing your teeth and ice cubes, too!) As you did in Spain, you may want to stick to tapas (bar snacks) for one meal and splurge on dinner when it's cooler. There are quite a few restaurants, at all kinds of prices, on the island. Meals run from as little as $4 to well over $22 without wine. If you're homesick, there's even an English pub - Simpson's Pub in Puerto del Carmen - which is run by an English couple who produce real English food in the midst of this very Spanish island. To get around on Lanzarote, you can rent a car (at Avis, Hertz, or Riverol, a local concern) or a motorcycle (also at Riverol), hire a cab, or book an excursion with Cyrasa at 12 Avenida del Generalisimo Franco (tel. 81-03-13). Many of the taxi drivers now speak a little English - not much, but a little and they are knowledgable about the island. If you do hire a taxi, make sure you and the driver agree on the price for the day's exploring before you leave. So - where do you want to go? The Montanas del Fuego (Fire Mountains), of course! They are the most spectacular feature of the island and figured prominently in 'Planet of 151   

Fire'. South-west of Arrecife (the capital), protected now as a tourist attraction, they were formed by volcanic activity in the early 1700s. (Remember everybody slipping around on the lava slides?) Entrance to the area costs 450 pts. per car and hours are 9 am to 5 pm. You drive your own car (or your taxi) through the mountains in a convoy with a leader and an escort but don't expect any commentary. The tour goes to the Islote del Hilario, a circular restaurant and bar, built on the site of the old hermit Hilario's hut. He and his donkey came back after the volcanic eruptions, planted a fig tree (no, we don't know why!), and is remembered to this day. Timanfaya is the biggest mountain in the Fire Mountains and can be ascended via a camel! You can rent a camel at the station just before you enter the park. It will cost somewhere in the neighbourhood of 400 pts. ($2.50) per person to rent one to take you up the side of the mountain to the crater. If this appeals to you, time your visit for the early morning - the camels go home at noon to work in the fields. Take the road north out of Arrecife, you'll pass through Los Valles, a beautifully kept area of cultivation, before coming out above the Arabic-looking village of Haria. Continuing onward, you come to the Mirador del Rio, a lookout blasted into the rock of the cliff overlooking the island of La Graciosa. Perhaps it was here that Peri confronted the Master? If it was, they both had to pay an admission charge of 125 pts. to harangue each other. Come to think of it, it had to be - it's the local equivalent of a quarry! The lookout is open from 11 am to 7 pm in the summer and closes earlier in the winter. If you decide on escorted excursions, a full day's jaunt to Fire Mountains, El Golfo, and the south including lunch at Uga costs about 2500 pts. (£10.50). A half-day trip to the north and the Mirador del Rio goes for 1400 pts. (£6) and that, too, includes lunch. Although we can't guarantee any underwater arche-ological sites (sorry, Professor Howard), you're welcome to talk to Bob Wright, an Englishman, or his partner Dennis who run a 152   

highly successful diving school - Clubulanza - in Puerto del Carmen. If you're not proficient in scuba diving, at least there's a terrace and a bar if you'd just like to soak up the atmosphere. They may even have heard about the filming, ask them! There's lots more to do and see on Lanzarote but, if you are at all pressed for time, we suggest putting off your visit to this wonderfully warm and sunny island until a later date. After all, you don't want to have to race through paradise as though a whole squad of Daleks were at your heels.


7 The Master's Checklist

The Master seldom forgets anything (except that the Doctor is going to win), so we've put together our version of a masterly checklist that you can use before beginning your trip. It's the bare essentials - enough for about a two week visit. Remember that additions will add weight! Address Book! Small, light with British addresses you think you might need, old ones you have trouble remembering, and room to add new friends. A tarm clock: Tiny one. Amusements: Card, 'disposable' book, puzzle books, pocket games, etc. to help pass the time while travelling. Blazer/Jacket: Not essential but great for 'dressy' look as well as warmth. Dark, wrinkle-resistant, and sprayed with water repellent to foil stains and dirt is best. Blouse: Two at most, one light, one dark (or print); lightweight material easy to wash. Sprayed with water repellant. Camera: Small, light, easy to carry. Chapstick: Essential for everyone. Cracked, bleeding lips are no fun in any language. Clothesline - braided elastic: Absolutely essential. Can be found in department or travel speciality stores. Coat: Raincoat/trenchcoat, dark, preferably with zip in-out lining and hood. Waterproof! Can also double as a bath robe. Comb: Essential.


Contacts: Carry a 'pair and a spare' or at least your prescription. If you have soft lenses with thermal cleaning, a good, electrical adaptor is essential. Cosmetics: Bare essentials. Credit Cards: No more than you need. Leave extras in a safety deposit box or with your family. Deodorant: Stick is best, aerosol can explode in your luggage. Duffel bag: Pack in suitcase for return trip - dirty laundry, etc. Also handy for short trips. Ear plugs: Great for sleeping on planes, trains or in hotels, B&Bs, etc. - anyplace where noise might keep you awake. Film: Lots - at least a roll a day to be on the safe side. First Aid kit: Essential. Sample sizes of: antacids, antiseptic cream or liquid, aspirin (or equivalent), bandaids, moleskin (adhesive felt for blisters), and prescription drugs (carry these with you in original botUes, remember). Flashlight: Small one. Make sure batteries are new and it's in good working order. Food: Only if you're flying budget. Eat what you open or you will have to throw it away when you land. Glasses: Carry a 'pair and a spare' or at least your prescription. Gloves: Absolutely essential if travelling in anything except the High Season. Hairbrush: Up to you. Hat/Scarf: Cloth or khaki fisherman-style hat highly recommended. One deep enough to stay on your head in high winds and with a wide enough brim to keep the rain out of your eyes. Scarf to protect ears if susceptible. (Earmuffs if really sensitive.) Waterproofed. Identification: Driver's license, health insurance card, international student card, international hostel card, senior citizen card. Also carry one extra photo ID besides your passport. Jeans: Acceptable but Jean doesn't recommend them. Spray with water repellant if you decide you can't live without them. Leave your grubbies at home! Jewellery: Don't bring expensive things. If you must, 155   

splurge and buy some baubles in Chelsea or on Carnaby Street. Knapsack: Handy for short trips but not essential. Laundry soap: Travel packets of dry soap or small plastic bottle of liquid. Maps: Essential. Familiarise yourself with them before you get to Britain. Money belt: Essential if you have no inside jacket pockets or are feeling terribly insecure. See if you can get one big enough for your passport. Money clip: If you can't find a wallet big enough, this will contain your folding bills. Needle and thread: Small travel pack is best. Nightgown: Let one of your T-shirts double for this. Nylons: Pack only two pair of nylons/panty hose/kneehighs per week. Passport: Don't leave home without it! Don't pack it in your suitcase! Pen: How else are you going to write home? Non-leaking. Pen knife, multiblade: Essential. One with can-opener, sharp blade, corkscrew, etc. Plastic bags: Wonderfully useful items, especially with the zip tops. Purse, coin: Large enough for hefty collection of money. Zippered top helpful and safer. Purse, shoulder bag: Carry a large enough one with tightfitting clasps or zippers to foil thieves. Razor: Lightweight, manual. Safety pins: Bring a few. Sanitary products: Although available at the chemist's, best to be prepared. Scarf, Doctor's: Leave the twenty-five foot version at home. The eight foot one can double as an extra blanket if necessary!


Shaving cream: Bring travel size only if a necessity. Can be found at the chemist's. Shirt: Two at most, dark colours are best, easy to wash and dry. Spray with water repellant. Shoes: Two pair, both comfortable walking shoes. Forget 'dressy' and pack for your feet's sake. No high heels! Some museums or stately homes forbid them because they damage the floors, let alone your feet! Shower cap: Bring it if you use it. Skirt or Kilt: No more than one, if that. Should be easy to wash, dark to hide the stains, and wrinkle-resistant. Spray with water repellant. Slacks: 'Pair and a spare', dark is best. Can take one for dress and a pair of jeans for casual but remember - jeans are heavier than slacks when packing. (They are also usually warmer). Whichever you take, spray with water repellant. Slippers: If you must, lightweight ones. Soap: Small bar in a plastic case. Socks: 'Pair and a spare'. Can always buy others if this is not enough. Synthetics are best as they dry faster than cotton or wool. Sports coat: Only necessary if you think you'll need to dress up. Dark coloured tweed is the best, doesn't show dirt/wrinkles so blatantly. Waterproof. Sunglasses: Lightweight pair. Sweater: One at least. Wear while travelling to save packing space. Spray with water repellant if possible. Thermal underwear: Essential if travelling in any season except High. Two tops/one bottom. Tickets: Easy to forget - don't! This includes plane as well as British Rail. Tie: One at most sprayed with water repellant. Why not buy one in England? Toilet paper: Small travel pack of tissues is good enough. Toothbrush and toothpaste: Travel tube size best. Roll up tube from bottom while using to conserve space. 157   

Towellets, pre-moistened: Handy. Get the kind that's individually wrapped. Traveller's cheques: Don't leave home without them! In pounds sterling, of course. T-shirt: Two at most, great for sleepwear. Turtleneck: Not essential but Laurie feels she would have gotten Yeti-throat without hers. Spray with water repellant if packed. Umbrella: Folding one of less than fourteen inches is best. Not absolutely essential. Underwear: Lightweight, nylon best because it dries fastest. Washcloth: Rare to extinct in Britain, bring if essential to you. Wallet: British currency size or bring money clip.


Bibliography Other Books Almost any book published by: The British Automobile Association, (AA) Publications Division of the Automobile Association, Fanum House, Basingstoke, Hants, RG21 2EA Robert Nicholson Publications Limited, 17-21 Conway Street, London W1P 6JD Fodor's Travel Guides, 2, Park Avenue, NY, NY 10016 (Britain and London) Frommer's Travel Guides Frommer/Pasmantier Publishers, a Division of Simon & Schuster, Inc. 1230, Avenue of the Americas, NYC, NY 10020 (Britain and London) American Express Guide to England & Wales by James Tomes, and American Express Pocket Guide to London, by Michael Jackson, Simon and Schuster, Simon and Schuster Building, Rockefeller Center, 1230, Avenue of the Americas, NY, NY 10020 1983, 1984 Baxter's Britrail Guide, by Robert Baxter, Rail-Europe, P.O. Box 3255, Alexandria, VA 22302 1979 Birnbaum's Great Britain and Ireland, 1985, Houghton Mifflin Company, 2, Park Street, Boston, MA 02108,1984 Daytrips from London, by Earl Steinbicker, Hastings House, New York, NY 10016, 1985 Ferguson's Britain By Britrail, by George Ferguson, Burt Franklin & Company, Inc., 235, East 44th Street, New York, NY 10017, 1985 Great Britain and Ireland, Michelin Tyre Company, 81, Fulham Road, London SW3 6RD 1984


Great Value Britain 1984, British Tourist Authority, 64, St James Street, London SW1A INF 1984 Let's Go 1985, Harvard Student Agencies, St Martin's Press, 175, Fifth Avenue, New York, NY 10010, 1985 London: A Rand McNally Pocket Guide, F. George Kay, Rand McNally & Company, Chicago, NY, San Francisco 1980 Michelin London, Green Guide, Third edition, Michelin Tyre Company, 81, Fulham Road, London SW3 6RD, 1983 The National Trust Guide to England, Wales, and Northern Ireland, W. W. Norton & Co Inc., 500, Fifth Avenue, New York, NY 10110 1984 Addresses American Society of Travel Agents, 4400, MacArthur Blvd, Washington DC 20007 USA Association of British Travel Agents, 50-57, Newman Street, London W1P 4AH Booklet 'Know Before You Go', US Customs Information, Department of the Treasury, Washington DC 20229 USA British Automobile Association: Fanum House, Basing View, Basingstoke, Hampshire RG21 2EA (Road Maps) Britrail Travel International, 630, Third Avenue, New York, NY 10017 (212-599-5400); 510, Sixth Street, Los Angeles, CA 90014 (213-626-0088); Plaza of the Americas, North TowerSte, 750 L.B. 356, Dallas, TX 75201 (214-748-0860); 333, N Michigan Ave, Chicago, IL 60601 (312-2631910); 55, Eglinton Ave. E., Toronto, ONT, Canada, M4R 1G8 (416-929-3333); 409, Granville Street, Van couver, BC Canada, V6C 1T2 (604-683-6896) British Tourist Authority, Britain: London; USA: New York City, Chicago, Dallas, Los Angeles: Argentina: Buenos Aires; Australia & New Zealand: Sydney; Austria: Vienna; Belgium: Brussels; Brazil: Sao Paulo; Canada: Toronto; Denmark: Copenhagen; France: Paris; Germany: Frankfurt; 160   

Holland: Amsterdam; Italy: Rome; Japan: Tokyo; Mexico: Mexico City; Norway: Oslo; South Africa'. Johannesburg; Spain: Madrid; Sweden: Stockholm; Switzerland: Zurich British Travel Bookshop, 40, West 57th Street, New York City, NY 10019 (send SAE for catalogue of books available. They carry many BTA and AA books as well as maps) Country Bus information: London Country Bus Services, Bell Street, Reigate, Surrey, RH2 7LE English Tourist Board, Thames Tower, Black's Road, London W6 9EL (01-846-9000) (List of all Tourist Information Centres) Green Line Buses London Country Bus Services Ltd, Lesbourne Road, Reigate, Surrey RH2 7LE (Reigate 42411) London Tourist Board, 53-55, Stamford Hill, London N16, England (01-800-0862) Royal Automobile Club, .49 Pall Mall, London SW1Y 5JG (Road Maps) Phone Numbers In London: (City code: 01) Chemist: Bliss the Chemist (24 hours), 624-8000, 50-56, Willseden Lane, Kilburn, NW6 Dentist: 584-1008 (cost starts at about $25) Emergency: 999 (real emergencies - not sprained ankles or dented fenders) Emergency Medical care: Royal Free Hospital 794-0500, Pond Street NE3 Middlesex Hospital, 636-8333, Mortimer Street, Wl University College Hospital, 387-9300,Gower Street, WC1 Guided tours: London Transport: 222-1234 American Express: 930-4411 Thomas Cook: 499-4000 Evan Evans: 278-3311 Frames National: 730-8691 National Travel: 730-0202 161   

Help Advisory Centre: 937-6445 Leisureline: 246-8021 London Transport: 24 hour information 222-1234 London National Tourist Information: 730-3488 Replacement Glasses: Selfridges Optical 629-1234 ext. 3889, in Selfridges Department store, 400 Oxford Street, London Wl Taxicabs: From Baker Street Tube;, 935-2553; from Russell Square, 636-1247, from St George's Square, 834-1014, from Sloane Square, 730-2664. Radio cabs: 286-4848; 272-3030, 286-6010; 286-6128 Trains from London: From Charing Cross, Victoria, Waterloo, Waterloo East, Cannon Street, London Bridge, 928-5100 From St Pancras, Euston, Broad Street, Marylebone 387-7070 From Kings Cross 278-2477 From Liverpool Street 283-7171 From Paddington 262-6767 Traveline: 246-8021 Water Transportation: General Information (London Tourist Board) 730-4812 From the piers: Westminster downstream 930-4097 Westminster upstream 930-2062 Charing Cross 930-0970 Tower 488-0344