Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 13 [first ed.]

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Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 13 [first ed.]

Table of contents :
Table of Contents
Introduction to Volume Thirteen – Culture and Nature, Individual and Community, by Timothy Huson........ 7
A Note on the Translations............................................................................. 14
A Note from Assistant Editor Zhou Shengjie............................................................. 16
Chinese Stories in Translation......................................................................... 18
In Company with a Depression Sufferer, by Chen Jiyi, (translators: Zhou Shengjie, Liu Zhiting,
Timothy Huson) ....................................................................................... 19
Death, Illusion, and Reality in Chen Jiyi's “In Company With a Depression Sufferer,” by Timothy Huson.. 58
A Long Journey from Home at Eighteen, by Yu Hua (translators: Zhou Shengjie, Zhang Yu, Timothy Huson).. 81
Life's Lessons in Yu Hua's “A Long Journey From Home at Eighteen,” by Pang Huanyi...................... 95
Buried in Peace, by Yan Xi Zao (translators: Tan Chunli and Timothy Huson) ........................... 104
入土为安............................................................................................... 120
The Circle: a Review of Yan Xi Zao's “Buried in Peace,” by Lu Wei..................................... 132
Auto-Biographical Essays.............................................................................. 136
Self-analysis, by Zhuang Jiamin........................................................................137
My Childhood, by Li Huiyin.............................................................................156
Poetry.................................................................................................164
Know Now, by Tom Hoy...................................................................................165
Essays on Chinese Culture .............................................................................167
The Expressivity of Chinese Instrumental Music, by Kevin Nan Gan.......................................168
The Taint of Determinateness – The East and Buddhism from the Perspective of Hegel, by Klaus Vieweg ...183
Inner Enlightenment, Literature, and Literary Translation, by Timothy Huson ...........................211
Contributors (in alphabetical order) ..................................................................244
Editorial Board .......................................................................................246

Citation preview

Chinese Literature and Culture

Chinese Literature and Culture

ISSN 2332-4287 (print); ISSN 2334-1122 (online)

ISSN 2332-4287 (print); ISSN 2334-1122 (online)

www.clcjournal.com

www.clcjournal.com

Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 13

Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 13

Editor-in-Chief: Chu Dongwei, Guangdong University of Foreign Studies

Editor-in-Chief: Chu Dongwei, Guangdong University of Foreign Studies

Volume editor: Timothy Huson, Guangdong University of Foreign Studies

Volume editor: Timothy Huson, Guangdong University of Foreign Studies

Copyright © 2018 Chinese Literature and Culture through Chu Dongwei.

Copyright © 2018 Chinese Literature and Culture through Chu Dongwei.

All rights reserved. No part of this book, which is meanwhile a Chinese Literature and Culture volume, may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of Chinese Literature and Culture represented by Chu Dongwei except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

All rights reserved. No part of this book, which is meanwhile a Chinese Literature and Culture volume, may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of Chinese Literature and Culture represented by Chu Dongwei except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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ISSN 2332-4287 (print) ISSN 2334-1122 (online)

ISSN 2332-4287 (print) ISSN 2334-1122 (online)

Chinese Literature and Culture

Chinese Literature and Culture

Editor-in-Chief

Editor-in-Chief

Chu Dongwei

Chu Dongwei

Guangdong University of Foreign Studies

Guangdong University of Foreign Studies

New Leaves®

New Leaves®

IntLingo, Inc., Westbury, New York

IntLingo, Inc., Westbury, New York

Zilin Limited, Guangzhou

Zilin Limited, Guangzhou

Volume 13

Volume 13

VOLUME EDITOR Timothy Huson

VOLUME EDITOR Timothy Huson

ASSOCIATE EDITORS Craig Gallup Zhou Shengjie

ASSOCIATE EDITORS Craig Gallup Zhou Shengjie

CONTRIBUTORS Yu Hua Chen Jiyi Yan Xi Zao Klaus Vieweg Kevin Nan Gan Pang Huanyi Lu Wei Zhuang Jiamin Li Huiyin Tom Hoy Timothy Huson

CONTRIBUTORS Yu Hua Chen Jiyi Yan Xi Zao Klaus Vieweg Kevin Nan Gan Pang Huanyi Lu Wei Zhuang Jiamin Li Huiyin Tom Hoy Timothy Huson

COVOR ART

(“Secret Aroma of Pinky Cheeks”)

Chen Zhixiong

COVOR ART

(“Secret Aroma of Pinky Cheeks”)

Chen Zhixiong

Table of Contents

Table of Contents

Introduction to Volume Thirteen – Culture and Nature, Individual and Community .............................................. 7

Introduction to Volume Thirteen – Culture and Nature, Individual and Community .............................................. 7

A Note on the Translations ................................................... 14

A Note on the Translations ................................................... 14

A Note from Assistant Editor Zhou Shengjie ....................... 16

A Note from Assistant Editor Zhou Shengjie ....................... 16

Chinese Stories in Translation .............................................. 18

Chinese Stories in Translation .............................................. 18

In Company with a Depression Sufferer, by Chen Jiyi, (translators: Zhou Shengjie, Liu Zhiting, Timothy Huson).................................................................... 19

In Company with a Depression Sufferer, by Chen Jiyi, (translators: Zhou Shengjie, Liu Zhiting, Timothy Huson).................................................................... 19

Death, Illusion, and Reality in Chen Jiyi's “In Company With a Depression Sufferer,” by Timothy Huson . 58

Death, Illusion, and Reality in Chen Jiyi's “In Company With a Depression Sufferer,” by Timothy Huson . 58

A Long Journey from Home at Eighteen, by Yu Hua (translators: Zhou Shengjie, Zhang Yu, Timothy Huson).................................................................... 81

A Long Journey from Home at Eighteen, by Yu Hua (translators: Zhou Shengjie, Zhang Yu, Timothy Huson).................................................................... 81

Life's Lessons in Yu Hua's “A Long Journey From Home at Eighteen,” by Pang Huanyi ................................ 95

Life's Lessons in Yu Hua's “A Long Journey From Home at Eighteen,” by Pang Huanyi ................................ 95

Buried in Peace, by Yan Xi Zao (translators: Tan Chunli and Timothy Huson) .............................. 104

Buried in Peace, by Yan Xi Zao (translators: Tan Chunli and Timothy Huson) .............................. 104

入土为安 ..................................................................... 120

入土为安 ..................................................................... 120

The Circle: a Review of Yan Xi Zao's “Buried in Peace,” by Lu Wei ............................................. 132

The Circle: a Review of Yan Xi Zao's “Buried in Peace,” by Lu Wei ............................................. 132

Auto-Biographical Essays ................................................... 136

Auto-Biographical Essays ................................................... 136

Self-analysis, by Zhuang Jiamin ..................................137

Self-analysis, by Zhuang Jiamin ..................................137

My Childhood, by Li Huiyin ........................................156

My Childhood, by Li Huiyin ........................................156

Poetry...................................................................................164

Poetry...................................................................................164

Know Now, by Tom Hoy .............................................165

Know Now, by Tom Hoy .............................................165

Essays on Chinese Culture ..................................................167

Essays on Chinese Culture ..................................................167

The Expressivity of Chinese Instrumental Music, by Kevin Nan Gan .....................................................168

The Expressivity of Chinese Instrumental Music, by Kevin Nan Gan .....................................................168

The Taint of Determinateness – The East and Buddhism from the Perspective of Hegel, by Klaus Vieweg ......................................................183

The Taint of Determinateness – The East and Buddhism from the Perspective of Hegel, by Klaus Vieweg ......................................................183

Inner Enlightenment, Literature, and Literary Translation, by Timothy Huson .........................211

Inner Enlightenment, Literature, and Literary Translation, by Timothy Huson .........................211

Contributors (in alphabetical order) .............................244

Contributors (in alphabetical order) .............................244

Editorial Board .............................................................246

Editorial Board .............................................................246

Subscription and Purchase Information .......................248

Subscription and Purchase Information .......................248

Introduction to Volume Thirteen – Culture and Nature, Individual and Community

Introduction to Volume Thirteen – Culture and Nature, Individual and Community

In today's West, culture is often opposed to nature, individual

In today's West, culture is often opposed to nature, individual

to community. This stands in contrast to Chinese thought

to community. This stands in contrast to Chinese thought

where, under normal conditions, these pairs are not in

where, under normal conditions, these pairs are not in

opposition, but rather are complementary to each other. The

opposition, but rather are complementary to each other. The

standard Western academic view of Chinese culture as based

standard Western academic view of Chinese culture as based

on the community, versus the West as based on the individual,

on the community, versus the West as based on the individual,

already betrays the problem: the very distinction is Western,

already betrays the problem: the very distinction is Western,

not Chinese. The Chinese individual is loftier than that of the

not Chinese. The Chinese individual is loftier than that of the

Western academic's selfish rationalism – going back to

Western academic's selfish rationalism – going back to

Hobbes, to escape the self-centered war of all against all only

Hobbes, to escape the self-centered war of all against all only

in virtue of reason. Chinese thought is the opposite, the war of

in virtue of reason. Chinese thought is the opposite, the war of

all against all is against one's nature, and when individuals are

all against all is against one's nature, and when individuals are

properly brought up and find enlightenment within, they will

properly brought up and find enlightenment within, they will

understand their own nature to be substantially in harmony

understand their own nature to be substantially in harmony

with the community, and with nature. Culture itself is in

with the community, and with nature. Culture itself is in

harmony with nature, not opposed to it. The true individual in

harmony with nature, not opposed to it. The true individual in

harmony with community lives in a culture in harmony with

harmony with community lives in a culture in harmony with

nature. There is no need for an abstract reasoning process to

nature. There is no need for an abstract reasoning process to

overrule a selfish desire, since the education process

overrule a selfish desire, since the education process

eliminates or brings up that desire. In the Chinese context,

eliminates or brings up that desire. In the Chinese context,

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Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 13, Nov., 2018

Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 13, Nov., 2018

reason is in a unity with properly educated desire. The selfish

reason is in a unity with properly educated desire. The selfish

individual is simply a poorly educated individual. If abstract

individual is simply a poorly educated individual. If abstract

reason is needed to rescue him, perhaps the problem is at a

reason is needed to rescue him, perhaps the problem is at a

deeper level. If this individual is indeed the norm in the West,

deeper level. If this individual is indeed the norm in the West,

and the cult of abstract reason is the required cure, maybe we

and the cult of abstract reason is the required cure, maybe we

should be discussing what is wrong with moral education in

should be discussing what is wrong with moral education in

the West.

the West.

The word culture is itself misleading, used as it is now to

The word culture is itself misleading, used as it is now to

refer to artifacts that humans create in distinction from what

refer to artifacts that humans create in distinction from what

comes to be naturally. The term itself, in this usage, is of

comes to be naturally. The term itself, in this usage, is of

nineteenth century coinage. A term meaning culture is absent

nineteenth century coinage. A term meaning culture is absent

from both classical Greek thought and classical Chinese

from both classical Greek thought and classical Chinese

thought. They possessed what we call cultural artifacts, but

thought. They possessed what we call cultural artifacts, but

never saw a need for a term to capture them as a class. Instead,

never saw a need for a term to capture them as a class. Instead,

the predominant focus for classical Greece and China was the

the predominant focus for classical Greece and China was the

human inner spirit, a moral sense, internal enlightenment that

human inner spirit, a moral sense, internal enlightenment that

activates the inner sense of fairness and human decency.

activates the inner sense of fairness and human decency.

Since it is this inner moral core of human decency that

Since it is this inner moral core of human decency that

inspires the external cultural works of art, the Western idea of

inspires the external cultural works of art, the Western idea of

culture would be misleading. The essence of culture is moral

culture would be misleading. The essence of culture is moral

education. The genus that captures things like paintings,

education. The genus that captures things like paintings,

novels, architecture, and music is not culture, but moral

novels, architecture, and music is not culture, but moral

education, inner enlightenment.

education, inner enlightenment.

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In the context of culture as inner enlightenment through

In the context of culture as inner enlightenment through

education, tradition and continuity with the past become

education, tradition and continuity with the past become

central. Human virtue is not an abstract logical formula, but

central. Human virtue is not an abstract logical formula, but

an acquisition prepared for by thousands of years of human

an acquisition prepared for by thousands of years of human

thought, the layering of ideals of human goodness into human

thought, the layering of ideals of human goodness into human

institutions. Nature is not the antithesis of culture, but its

institutions. Nature is not the antithesis of culture, but its

inspiration, the prototype of humanity that is sublated, in the

inspiration, the prototype of humanity that is sublated, in the

sense we find in Klaus Vieweg's essay, in the process of

sense we find in Klaus Vieweg's essay, in the process of

cultural development, the construction of institutions to

cultural development, the construction of institutions to

educate, to bring about inner enlightenment. Culture changes

educate, to bring about inner enlightenment. Culture changes

nature, corrects it, but does not oppose it. In his Physics,

nature, corrects it, but does not oppose it. In his Physics,

Aristotle said that “art (technē) completes that which nature is

Aristotle said that “art (technē) completes that which nature is

unable to achieve, and it imitates nature.” (Physics 199a)

unable to achieve, and it imitates nature.” (Physics 199a)

Nothing says more about the Greek focus on paideia, cultural

Nothing says more about the Greek focus on paideia, cultural

upbringing in the broadest senses, than the fact that most if

upbringing in the broadest senses, than the fact that most if

not all of Plato's dialogues are centered on paideia in one of

not all of Plato's dialogues are centered on paideia in one of

its many senses. Today, the modern equivalent to paideia

its many senses. Today, the modern equivalent to paideia

would be a rarely-seen and tiny sub-field in academic

would be a rarely-seen and tiny sub-field in academic

philosophy.

philosophy.

Today's understanding of culture corresponds to the

Today's understanding of culture corresponds to the

period of modern science, classifying reality by categories

period of modern science, classifying reality by categories

imposed by a theorizing collective subject. The theory that

imposed by a theorizing collective subject. The theory that

has replaced knowledge drawn from lived experience has

has replaced knowledge drawn from lived experience has

given us modern science and technology. For this we are all

given us modern science and technology. For this we are all

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Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 13, Nov., 2018

Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 13, Nov., 2018

grateful. But it may be that our human future depends equally,

grateful. But it may be that our human future depends equally,

if not more, on another sort of knowledge, one grounded in a

if not more, on another sort of knowledge, one grounded in a

long tradition of human moral education in a close interaction

long tradition of human moral education in a close interaction

with nature. Abstract reason stands in stark contrast to this

with nature. Abstract reason stands in stark contrast to this

knowledge grounded in educated human desire in such a way

knowledge grounded in educated human desire in such a way

that culture is not separate from nature, nor individual from

that culture is not separate from nature, nor individual from

community.

community.

The harmony of individual to community and of culture to

The harmony of individual to community and of culture to

nature is a theme in many of the pieces in this volume of

nature is a theme in many of the pieces in this volume of

Chinese Literature and Culture. That is especially the case, I

Chinese Literature and Culture. That is especially the case, I

think, in the stories of Chen Jiyi and Yu Hua, stories

think, in the stories of Chen Jiyi and Yu Hua, stories

depicting a cold society where the individual is alienated from

depicting a cold society where the individual is alienated from

the community, from other individuals, and from nature. But

the community, from other individuals, and from nature. But

in a positive sense, it is the message of Yan Xi Zao's “Buried

in a positive sense, it is the message of Yan Xi Zao's “Buried

in Peace.” In all of these stories, the vision of humanity

in Peace.” In all of these stories, the vision of humanity

appears in stark contrast to the ideal commonly depicted in

appears in stark contrast to the ideal commonly depicted in

today's Western culture of group identity and struggle through

today's Western culture of group identity and struggle through

antagonism with opposing identity groups, antagonism

antagonism with opposing identity groups, antagonism

towards tradition, antagonism towards nature.

towards tradition, antagonism towards nature.

This volume includes three translated fiction stories. “In

This volume includes three translated fiction stories. “In

Company With a Depression Sufferer,” by Chen Jiyi, is a

Company With a Depression Sufferer,” by Chen Jiyi, is a

story of two migrants trying to make it in the industrial

story of two migrants trying to make it in the industrial

metropolis of Beijing. As the hero, Chen Chao, cares for the

metropolis of Beijing. As the hero, Chen Chao, cares for the

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younger Ma Qi, he slowly understands the reasons for Ma

younger Ma Qi, he slowly understands the reasons for Ma

Qi's mental anguish in a way that, perhaps, goes far deeper

Qi's mental anguish in a way that, perhaps, goes far deeper

than the problems of the moral decadence of the modern

than the problems of the moral decadence of the modern

economic center.

economic center.

In Yu Hua's “A Long Journey From Home at Eighteen,”

In Yu Hua's “A Long Journey From Home at Eighteen,”

the hero, on his way into the world in search of an inn, meets

the hero, on his way into the world in search of an inn, meets

the world's cold reality, but finally finds his inn in a least

the world's cold reality, but finally finds his inn in a least

suspected place.

suspected place.

“Buried in Peace,” by Yan Xi Zao, tells the inspiring

“Buried in Peace,” by Yan Xi Zao, tells the inspiring

story of a girl's return home to the countryside during Spring

story of a girl's return home to the countryside during Spring

Festival with the sad task of taking her final leave of her

Festival with the sad task of taking her final leave of her

dying grandmother, but in the process she gains an

dying grandmother, but in the process she gains an

understanding of herself, her place in the world, and her

understanding of herself, her place in the world, and her

connection to tradition.

connection to tradition.

We include two auto-biographical essays by Chinese

We include two auto-biographical essays by Chinese

writers: “Self-analysis,” by Zhuang Jiamin, is a narrative of a

writers: “Self-analysis,” by Zhuang Jiamin, is a narrative of a

Chinese girl with a fascination for reading romance novels as

Chinese girl with a fascination for reading romance novels as

she deals with discipline from parents she also loves. It is also

she deals with discipline from parents she also loves. It is also

the generation gap being traversed by today's China, yet

the generation gap being traversed by today's China, yet

grounded in tradition. “My Childhood,” by Li Huiyin, tells

grounded in tradition. “My Childhood,” by Li Huiyin, tells

about a girl raised in the Chinese countryside by her aunt.

about a girl raised in the Chinese countryside by her aunt.

“The Expressivity of Chinese Instrumental Music,” by a

“The Expressivity of Chinese Instrumental Music,” by a

professional piano player and music teacher, Kevin Nan Gan,

professional piano player and music teacher, Kevin Nan Gan,

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Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 13, Nov., 2018

Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 13, Nov., 2018

presents the expressive aspect of Chinese music by carefully

presents the expressive aspect of Chinese music by carefully

leading the reader through a model Chinese instrumental

leading the reader through a model Chinese instrumental

piece.

piece.

Klaus Vieweg's “The Taint of Determinateness – The

Klaus Vieweg's “The Taint of Determinateness – The

East and Buddhism from the perspective of Hegel” is an

East and Buddhism from the perspective of Hegel” is an

important study on the importance of Hegel's thought for a

important study on the importance of Hegel's thought for a

union of West and East, Buddhism in particular. The core

union of West and East, Buddhism in particular. The core

ideas are crucial, I think, for understanding, at a philosophical

ideas are crucial, I think, for understanding, at a philosophical

level, the potential for a union between China and the West

level, the potential for a union between China and the West

thought.

thought.

My first thanks go to Craig Gallup, who put well over a year

My first thanks go to Craig Gallup, who put well over a year

of work into this issue. Secondly, I want to thank Zhou

of work into this issue. Secondly, I want to thank Zhou

Shengjie, who assisted me tirelessly with numerous fine

Shengjie, who assisted me tirelessly with numerous fine

points in the translation of two of the stories, and contributed

points in the translation of two of the stories, and contributed

no small degree to my own critical essay. We are grateful to

no small degree to my own critical essay. We are grateful to

fiction writers Chen Jiyi, Yu Hua, and Yan Xi Zao for

fiction writers Chen Jiyi, Yu Hua, and Yan Xi Zao for

allowing us to translate and publish their creations, and to Liu

allowing us to translate and publish their creations, and to Liu

Zhiting, Zhang Yu, and Tan Chunli for their part in the

Zhiting, Zhang Yu, and Tan Chunli for their part in the

translation of the three stories. Thanks to other contributors

translation of the three stories. Thanks to other contributors

for their submissions. I especially want to thank Klaus

for their submissions. I especially want to thank Klaus

Vieweg for allowing us to publish his recent scholarship

Vieweg for allowing us to publish his recent scholarship

dealing with the intersection between Eastern and Western

dealing with the intersection between Eastern and Western

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thought in Hegel, a topic that is certain to be crucial for the

thought in Hegel, a topic that is certain to be crucial for the

future of human culture.

future of human culture.

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Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 13, Nov., 2018

Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 13, Nov., 2018

A Note on the Translations

A Note on the Translations

The translation of each of the three stories was the product of

The translation of each of the three stories was the product of

a team of two or three translators. The listing of translators

a team of two or three translators. The listing of translators

has nothing to do with establishing a first or second translator.

has nothing to do with establishing a first or second translator.

It is very unfair to try to decide who the primary translator is.

It is very unfair to try to decide who the primary translator is.

All translators worked with both Chinese and English texts.

All translators worked with both Chinese and English texts.

(In addition to the translators, there were several proofreaders,

(In addition to the translators, there were several proofreaders,

both Chinese and Western, who are not mentioned.)

both Chinese and Western, who are not mentioned.)

Our basis for translation (also suggested in my essay for

Our basis for translation (also suggested in my essay for

this volume) was fidelity to the literary work in all aspects:

this volume) was fidelity to the literary work in all aspects:

style, terseness of expression, beauty, cultural meaning, and

style, terseness of expression, beauty, cultural meaning, and

with attention to replicating the various literary tropes that are

with attention to replicating the various literary tropes that are

the creation of the original – within the scope that this is

the creation of the original – within the scope that this is

possible in consideration of other features of fidelity. Fidelity

possible in consideration of other features of fidelity. Fidelity

to readability is also a consideration that literature by its very

to readability is also a consideration that literature by its very

nature is not the language of everyday speech or business, and

nature is not the language of everyday speech or business, and

thus presents difficulties, even in the original, that must be

thus presents difficulties, even in the original, that must be

preserved as the core of creativity itself, not erased by some

preserved as the core of creativity itself, not erased by some

imagined translator creativity. When a Western reader picks

imagined translator creativity. When a Western reader picks

up a Chinese novel, he has already decided to enter the realm

up a Chinese novel, he has already decided to enter the realm

of literature (not the realm of business English) and that of a

of literature (not the realm of business English) and that of a

foreign culture that will in other respects be different. He has

foreign culture that will in other respects be different. He has

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chosen to expand his cultural horizons, not reinforce them.

chosen to expand his cultural horizons, not reinforce them.

With any respect to the original work of art and the culture

With any respect to the original work of art and the culture

contained in it, the text must be translated faithful to the

contained in it, the text must be translated faithful to the

cultural transmission, not reculturalized as a new story by

cultural transmission, not reculturalized as a new story by

whimsical translator creativity. To give just one example, 他

whimsical translator creativity. To give just one example, 他

妈的 simply cannot be translated as “god damn,” as is often

妈的 simply cannot be translated as “god damn,” as is often

done in literary translation, as clearly the latter concerns a

done in literary translation, as clearly the latter concerns a

religion that, in general, the Chinese don't even have, while

religion that, in general, the Chinese don't even have, while

the former is something vulgar about the mother. It may be

the former is something vulgar about the mother. It may be

more faithfully rendered as “mother fuck,” or some such.

more faithfully rendered as “mother fuck,” or some such.

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Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 13, Nov., 2018

Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 13, Nov., 2018

A Note from Assistant Editor Zhou Shengjie

A Note from Assistant Editor Zhou Shengjie

I am a graduate of Guangdong University of Foreign Studies.

I am a graduate of Guangdong University of Foreign Studies.

Last November, Timothy Huson asked for my help because a

Last November, Timothy Huson asked for my help because a

translator of one of the translation teams quit with the bulk of

translator of one of the translation teams quit with the bulk of

revision still remaining. I took the task, and since then I have

revision still remaining. I took the task, and since then I have

participated in the translation revision process of the other

participated in the translation revision process of the other

stories. I want to say something about each of them.

stories. I want to say something about each of them.

"In Company With a Depression Sufferer" makes me

"In Company With a Depression Sufferer" makes me

think of the hikikomori in Japan, avoiding social contact and

think of the hikikomori in Japan, avoiding social contact and

confining themselves in small closed spaces to escape society.

confining themselves in small closed spaces to escape society.

Like Ma Qi, the depression suffering migrant to Beijing, the

Like Ma Qi, the depression suffering migrant to Beijing, the

hikikomori have no career, no human interaction, no dreams,

hikikomori have no career, no human interaction, no dreams,

no love. This story helps me understand the mood of the

no love. This story helps me understand the mood of the

marginalized populations, how they gradually transform from

marginalized populations, how they gradually transform from

the mainstream to the margins of society. When the society is

the mainstream to the margins of society. When the society is

sick, the individuals can not be spared.

sick, the individuals can not be spared.

I hope the boy in the "A Long Journey From Home at

I hope the boy in the "A Long Journey From Home at

Eighteen" can always be kind. I hope the next time he

Eighteen" can always be kind. I hope the next time he

encounters a wicked person, he will still have the courage to

encounters a wicked person, he will still have the courage to

defend justice. Even if the reality is cold, at least his heart is

defend justice. Even if the reality is cold, at least his heart is

warm.

warm. 16

16

"Buried in Peace" touched me deeply. I didn’t feel so

"Buried in Peace" touched me deeply. I didn’t feel so

moved by the story until my grandma passed away this June.

moved by the story until my grandma passed away this June.

It seems that Yan Xi Zao had written what I myself was

It seems that Yan Xi Zao had written what I myself was

thinking during this recent half year. In the past, every time I

thinking during this recent half year. In the past, every time I

got home, my grandma would welcome me at the door. But

got home, my grandma would welcome me at the door. But

last time I hurried back, only to see her feebly lying in the bed.

last time I hurried back, only to see her feebly lying in the bed.

My heart thumped because I never thought that my grandma

My heart thumped because I never thought that my grandma

would get old and die. Just as the scene is described in Yan's

would get old and die. Just as the scene is described in Yan's

story, later she was unable to swallow anything and then

story, later she was unable to swallow anything and then

death came. Because this story is so real to me, it deeply

death came. Because this story is so real to me, it deeply

resonated with me.

resonated with me.

Thanks to Timothy Huson for his trust and tolerance. I

Thanks to Timothy Huson for his trust and tolerance. I

insisted on doing this and was moved by the seriousness of

insisted on doing this and was moved by the seriousness of

the team. We were never satisfied until we could provide the

the team. We were never satisfied until we could provide the

utmost faithful translations of high literary quality. As late as

utmost faithful translations of high literary quality. As late as

July, we were still discussing and revising the translation of

July, we were still discussing and revising the translation of

idioms.

idioms.

Through

this

experience,

my

previous

Through

this

experience,

my

previous

misunderstanding of translation method now takes a new

misunderstanding of translation method now takes a new

form – a genuine literary translation does not allow or consist

form – a genuine literary translation does not allow or consist

in explanation from translators, but rather it delivers the

in explanation from translators, but rather it delivers the

original as faithfully as possible in all of the many ways in

original as faithfully as possible in all of the many ways in

which it can be faithful.

which it can be faithful.

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Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 13, Nov., 2018

Chinese Stories in Translation

Chinese Stories in Translation

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In Company with a Depression Sufferer

In Company with a Depression Sufferer

by Chen Jiyi (translators: Zhou Shengjie, Liu Zhiting, Timothy Huson)

by Chen Jiyi (translators: Zhou Shengjie, Liu Zhiting, Timothy Huson)

Me and Ma Qi get a car ride to the land on the outskirts of

Me and Ma Qi get a car ride to the land on the outskirts of

Beijing. On the Beijing outskirts, the leaves of the white

Beijing. On the Beijing outskirts, the leaves of the white

poplars have withered and are drifting down, cold fog

poplars have withered and are drifting down, cold fog

enshrouds the earth, faintly visible are some buildings under

enshrouds the earth, faintly visible are some buildings under

construction, scaffolding erected, leaden, from where, under

construction, scaffolding erected, leaden, from where, under

huge crosses, there comes the hissing sizzle of an electric saw

huge crosses, there comes the hissing sizzle of an electric saw

cutting steel plates, as if someone were rebelling. Ma Qi says,

cutting steel plates, as if someone were rebelling. Ma Qi says,

Let’s go a bit further, I can’t bear the noise. I think he does

Let’s go a bit further, I can’t bear the noise. I think he does

need peace, so coming back again to the ramshackle highway,

need peace, so coming back again to the ramshackle highway,

with shovels in hand, we use the shovels to block a small bus

with shovels in hand, we use the shovels to block a small bus

bound for more distant outskirts.

bound for more distant outskirts.

The small bus is contracted to a private operator. The ticket boy asks us: “To Song Village?”

The small bus is contracted to a private operator. The ticket boy asks us: “To Song Village?”

Ma Qi shakes his head: “We’ll get out halfway.”

Ma Qi shakes his head: “We’ll get out halfway.”

No telling why that man is smiling, he says: “You two

No telling why that man is smiling, he says: “You two

look quite like the artists in Song Village.” 19

look quite like the artists in Song Village.” 19

Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 13, Nov., 2018

Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 13, Nov., 2018

Ma Qi responds: “Does Song Village have any artists wanting to die?”

Ma Qi responds: “Does Song Village have any artists wanting to die?”

That man doesn’t speak any more. The bus gathers speed.

That man doesn’t speak any more. The bus gathers speed.

Our gaze is riveted on the windowpane of the bus, we are

Our gaze is riveted on the windowpane of the bus, we are

searching for a place where we can bury someone in the earth

searching for a place where we can bury someone in the earth

without arousing any objection. This kind of place we find at

without arousing any objection. This kind of place we find at

the confluence of a river and a highway. This is a deserted

the confluence of a river and a highway. This is a deserted

place, as large as a soccer field, cluttered with garbage, soil,

place, as large as a soccer field, cluttered with garbage, soil,

rubble and industrial waste. Its dirty, messy, bumpy slope is

rubble and industrial waste. Its dirty, messy, bumpy slope is

overgrown with dead weeds. I find there is even a blooming

overgrown with dead weeds. I find there is even a blooming

morning glory, though the morning glory has already lost all

morning glory, though the morning glory has already lost all

of its leaves.

of its leaves.

How is here? Ma Qi says he really likes this place. He

How is here? Ma Qi says he really likes this place. He

says, Bury me in this area, and absolutely nobody will

says, Bury me in this area, and absolutely nobody will

interfere. I also think so. This is a relatively peaceful place,

interfere. I also think so. This is a relatively peaceful place,

suitable for Ma Qi to have a sound sleep, here, the commotion

suitable for Ma Qi to have a sound sleep, here, the commotion

of the stream of traffic is drowned out by the commotion of

of the stream of traffic is drowned out by the commotion of

the stream of water, the fall of the stream of water caused by a

the stream of water, the fall of the stream of water caused by a

floodgate not far away. Here nobody will interfere, unlike in

floodgate not far away. Here nobody will interfere, unlike in

the city, also unlike in the country, only here it belongs to Ma

the city, also unlike in the country, only here it belongs to Ma

Qi.

Qi.

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20

Ma Qi was a distant relative of my friend Yong Liang. My

Ma Qi was a distant relative of my friend Yong Liang. My

friend Yong Liang had a straightforward personality, had a

friend Yong Liang had a straightforward personality, had a

very good job, and took part in public service activities in his

very good job, and took part in public service activities in his

spare time, and he took pleasure in helping people. Now Yong

spare time, and he took pleasure in helping people. Now Yong

Liang had died, and Ma Qi was still alive. He had left Ma Qi

Liang had died, and Ma Qi was still alive. He had left Ma Qi

to me.

to me.

“You must pay good attention to him, he suffers from

“You must pay good attention to him, he suffers from

severe depression.” At that time, Yong Liang had only one

severe depression.” At that time, Yong Liang had only one

breath left, but he was still thinking about how Ma Qi could

breath left, but he was still thinking about how Ma Qi could

go on living. I didn’t understand him, and impatiently said:

go on living. I didn’t understand him, and impatiently said:

“You just have peace of mind setting out on your journey, Ma

“You just have peace of mind setting out on your journey, Ma

Qi has me to look after him!” My friend suddenly opened his

Qi has me to look after him!” My friend suddenly opened his

eyes wide, he was still wanting to warn me about something,

eyes wide, he was still wanting to warn me about something,

but he began to twitch and, pinching my hand like pliers

but he began to twitch and, pinching my hand like pliers

painfully gripping me, he died.

painfully gripping me, he died.

You know what? After Yong Liang’s death, Ma Qi

You know what? After Yong Liang’s death, Ma Qi

moved to live here with me. I would quite soon go crazy. The

moved to live here with me. I would quite soon go crazy. The

whole day, twenty-four hours, he was down in spirits, feeling

whole day, twenty-four hours, he was down in spirits, feeling

vexed and sad.

vexed and sad.

“Someone jumped from a building today.”

“Someone jumped from a building today.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah?”

“I saw it on television, that person hadn’t yet jumped, and

“I saw it on television, that person hadn’t yet jumped, and

over a thousand people had gathered below, all of them

over a thousand people had gathered below, all of them

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Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 13, Nov., 2018

waiting for him to jump as soon as possible... they actually

waiting for him to jump as soon as possible... they actually

booed....”

booed....”

“He could have not jumped.”

“He could have not jumped.”

“But he jumped anyway. He didn’t want to end his life,

“But he jumped anyway. He didn’t want to end his life,

he just wanted to end his pain. But he jumped anyway.”

he just wanted to end his pain. But he jumped anyway.”

I had nothing to say, and I didn’t want to talk about death

I had nothing to say, and I didn’t want to talk about death

with him. But I heard it anyway, “Once someone wants to

with him. But I heard it anyway, “Once someone wants to

commit suicide, he will always want to commit suicide....

commit suicide, he will always want to commit suicide....

Suicide is the end after a process of meticulous preparation.”

Suicide is the end after a process of meticulous preparation.”

He repeatedly murmured such words, like a half-dead person.

He repeatedly murmured such words, like a half-dead person.

He had wanted to commit suicide for many years. He had a

He had wanted to commit suicide for many years. He had a

laptop, in which he had collected many ways to commit

laptop, in which he had collected many ways to commit

suicide. One day, he dragged me in front of the computer and

suicide. One day, he dragged me in front of the computer and

wanted me to help him choose a way to commit suicide, and I

wanted me to help him choose a way to commit suicide, and I

saw a person with a gliding Adam’s apple, his hand grasping

saw a person with a gliding Adam’s apple, his hand grasping

a noose, he stood on a stool, on his tiptoes, he repeated the

a noose, he stood on a stool, on his tiptoes, he repeated the

action of hanging himself n times.

action of hanging himself n times.

Boring! You are too empty!

Boring! You are too empty!

But Ma Qi sneered....

But Ma Qi sneered....

I turned off the media player. I couldn’t understand him.

I turned off the media player. I couldn’t understand him.

The calendar on the wall was covered with the red checks he

The calendar on the wall was covered with the red checks he

marked on the dates when he was going to leave the world.

marked on the dates when he was going to leave the world.

The intervals between these dates were getting shorter and

The intervals between these dates were getting shorter and

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shorter. How could I not be scared? When I went to work, I

shorter. How could I not be scared? When I went to work, I

would feel uneasy all day long, in my mind thinking that,

would feel uneasy all day long, in my mind thinking that,

when I came back from work, I would push open the door of

when I came back from work, I would push open the door of

the room and see Ma Qi dead....

the room and see Ma Qi dead....

Thinking of Ma Qi’s death, thinking of his already

Thinking of Ma Qi’s death, thinking of his already

whitish dead-fish-like eyes, thinking of his stiff body,

whitish dead-fish-like eyes, thinking of his stiff body,

tightening due to death, how sad I was! Everyone has but one

tightening due to death, how sad I was! Everyone has but one

life! But Ma Qi never died, and this surprised me. In what

life! But Ma Qi never died, and this surprised me. In what

way would he choose to end himself? Many times, I couldn’t

way would he choose to end himself? Many times, I couldn’t

help but think about it.

help but think about it.

The advantage of hanging oneself is its easy operation,

The advantage of hanging oneself is its easy operation,

assuming that the rope won’t break. But Ma Qi was very

assuming that the rope won’t break. But Ma Qi was very

likely to choose to commit suicide by slitting his wrists,

likely to choose to commit suicide by slitting his wrists,

because this was one of the “peaceful and painless” ways of

because this was one of the “peaceful and painless” ways of

dying Ma Qi yearned for. But this was also not absolute, for if

dying Ma Qi yearned for. But this was also not absolute, for if

he did not understand respecting others’ feelings and insisted

he did not understand respecting others’ feelings and insisted

on pursuing a heroic effect, putting a kitchen knife on his

on pursuing a heroic effect, putting a kitchen knife on his

upturned neck, the situation would not be extremely

upturned neck, the situation would not be extremely

encouraging! Just try to imagine it, at the very moment when

encouraging! Just try to imagine it, at the very moment when

the desperate Ma Qi cuts open his neck artery with a knife, he

the desperate Ma Qi cuts open his neck artery with a knife, he

also severs his throat! Fresh blood, that’s poof-poof bubbling

also severs his throat! Fresh blood, that’s poof-poof bubbling

champagne-like fresh blood, ah, it spurts along with wheezing

champagne-like fresh blood, ah, it spurts along with wheezing

bubbles all the way to the ceiling!

bubbles all the way to the ceiling!

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I was nearly driven crazy!... On the one hand, I was

I was nearly driven crazy!... On the one hand, I was

worried that Ma Qi would take advantage of my absence to

worried that Ma Qi would take advantage of my absence to

die in the room, die with things out of order. On the other

die in the room, die with things out of order. On the other

hand, I also couldn’t accept that he, after sketching one

hand, I also couldn’t accept that he, after sketching one

meticulous plan after another for his death, was still alive! I

meticulous plan after another for his death, was still alive! I

despised him for wanting to die but lacking resolve, like a

despised him for wanting to die but lacking resolve, like a

sissy! I really wanted to ask him, Mother fuck, every few days

sissy! I really wanted to ask him, Mother fuck, every few days

on the calendar you plan your suicide, what sense does it

on the calendar you plan your suicide, what sense does it

make? If you don’t have the courage to die, just be well-

make? If you don’t have the courage to die, just be well-

behaved and live! Who are you doing this for? But finally I

behaved and live! Who are you doing this for? But finally I

did not say it, because when I saw him I would once again

did not say it, because when I saw him I would once again

think of Yong Liang. It was Yong Liang who left Ma Qi to

think of Yong Liang. It was Yong Liang who left Ma Qi to

me.

me. However, I already couldn’t bear that, after so many

However, I already couldn’t bear that, after so many

rehearsals of suicide, Ma Qi was still alive. I am a person

rehearsals of suicide, Ma Qi was still alive. I am a person

whose eyes cannot be rubbed by fine sands. Once, Ma Qi

whose eyes cannot be rubbed by fine sands. Once, Ma Qi

suddenly checked all of the dates on the calendar. Seeing him

suddenly checked all of the dates on the calendar. Seeing him

ruin my calendar like this, I gave him a harsh reprimand,

ruin my calendar like this, I gave him a harsh reprimand,

Erase them for me! Every day is the date for suicide, damned

Erase them for me! Every day is the date for suicide, damned

luck!... Ma Qi lowered his head, eyes filled with tears. The

luck!... Ma Qi lowered his head, eyes filled with tears. The

next day, Ma Qi was bluish white in the face as he walked

next day, Ma Qi was bluish white in the face as he walked

around in the morning inside his room, his appearance

around in the morning inside his room, his appearance

resembling someone who in a few minutes would be dragged

resembling someone who in a few minutes would be dragged

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out and shot dead by military police. I was in a hurry to go to

out and shot dead by military police. I was in a hurry to go to

work, but I was attracted by his soulless look.

work, but I was attracted by his soulless look.

I said to Ma Qi: “Ma Qi, I am leaving for work, I’ll be

I said to Ma Qi: “Ma Qi, I am leaving for work, I’ll be

very busy today, and won’t come back home till very late,

very busy today, and won’t come back home till very late,

have a good time here at home, yesterday I had harsh words,

have a good time here at home, yesterday I had harsh words,

sorry.”

sorry.”

Ma Qi’s eyes cast a beam of light in which fear and

Ma Qi’s eyes cast a beam of light in which fear and

entreaty were interwoven: “Brother Chen... You just stay, I’m

entreaty were interwoven: “Brother Chen... You just stay, I’m

leaving....”

leaving....”

His voice was very slight and, pretending to have heard

His voice was very slight and, pretending to have heard

nothing, I went downstairs, in my mind thinking that he may

nothing, I went downstairs, in my mind thinking that he may

go to jump from a building, have a car crash, drown himself,

go to jump from a building, have a car crash, drown himself,

burn himself, or electrocute himself.... Anyway, because I had

burn himself, or electrocute himself.... Anyway, because I had

thought of these, I didn’t want to go to work anymore. I

thought of these, I didn’t want to go to work anymore. I

walked to a small market across the street, and bought a ten-

walked to a small market across the street, and bought a ten-

yuan telescope. When paying, I really wanted to say to the

yuan telescope. When paying, I really wanted to say to the

wispy-whiskered vendor, Come along with me to watch

wispy-whiskered vendor, Come along with me to watch

someone commit suicide! But I thought I shouldn’t say such

someone commit suicide! But I thought I shouldn’t say such

words to a stranger, then I silently went across from the

words to a stranger, then I silently went across from the

residential building where I lived. Through the telescope, I

residential building where I lived. Through the telescope, I

saw that the window of the small apartment I rented was

saw that the window of the small apartment I rented was

closed tight. This made me feel more or less disappointed.

closed tight. This made me feel more or less disappointed.

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Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 13, Nov., 2018

Am I too cruel? As I was thinking this, my cell phone rang.

Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 13, Nov., 2018

Am I too cruel? As I was thinking this, my cell phone rang.

“Hey! Where the mother fuck are you? There are two clients waiting for you!”

“Hey! Where the mother fuck are you? There are two clients waiting for you!”

“Right away, right away, traffic jam on the road.”

“Right away, right away, traffic jam on the road.”

I had to go to work, go to see the boss – that psychopath

I had to go to work, go to see the boss – that psychopath

back from studies in Japan – he did not sleep, had no family, a

back from studies in Japan – he did not sleep, had no family, a

mouthful of corporate culture. He required us to wear

mouthful of corporate culture. He required us to wear

matching clothes, cut our hair the same way, and “hai” “hai”

matching clothes, cut our hair the same way, and “hai” “hai”

like the Japanese do when we meet, and before work,

like the Japanese do when we meet, and before work,

everyone was also required, confronted with a face of

everyone was also required, confronted with a face of

unexpectedly deathly flesh, to thump their chest and shout: “I

unexpectedly deathly flesh, to thump their chest and shout: “I

can do it, I can do it! Yeah!” When getting off work, we were

can do it, I can do it! Yeah!” When getting off work, we were

also required to gather and learn the corporate spirit of

also required to gather and learn the corporate spirit of

“squeezing one more handful of water out of a dry towel.”

“squeezing one more handful of water out of a dry towel.”

The company was a gift company. In the morning I met

The company was a gift company. In the morning I met

several idiotic clients, obviously having come to Beijing to

several idiotic clients, obviously having come to Beijing to

send gifts to build relationships, and I tried to sell them the

send gifts to build relationships, and I tried to sell them the

Great Feng Shui Master. This was a kind of ornament made of

Great Feng Shui Master. This was a kind of ornament made of

jade of inferior quality, a yin-yang eight-trigram picture

jade of inferior quality, a yin-yang eight-trigram picture

carved on the surface, sold at the price of thirty-eight

carved on the surface, sold at the price of thirty-eight

thousand yuan. But I knew its cost was less than two thousand.

thousand yuan. But I knew its cost was less than two thousand.

Unexpectedly in one breath they bought twenty of them. At

Unexpectedly in one breath they bought twenty of them. At

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noon, I asked the boss for leave, and the boss asked me, Why

noon, I asked the boss for leave, and the boss asked me, Why

are you asking for leave? I lied that my girlfriend was coming

are you asking for leave? I lied that my girlfriend was coming

to see me from her hometown. The boss said, You just let her

to see me from her hometown. The boss said, You just let her

come to the company and wait for you! In the afternoon

come to the company and wait for you! In the afternoon

clients will be coming. I said, It is her first time to Beijing, so

clients will be coming. I said, It is her first time to Beijing, so

I have to pick her up. He didn’t agree.

I have to pick her up. He didn’t agree.

The whole afternoon, I was like an ant on a hot pan, I had

The whole afternoon, I was like an ant on a hot pan, I had

never before been in such a panic. I suddenly wanted to stop

never before been in such a panic. I suddenly wanted to stop

Ma Qi from dying! Not out of cherishing life, but because of

Ma Qi from dying! Not out of cherishing life, but because of

loneliness. But now Ma Qi may already be dead. I felt dizzy,

loneliness. But now Ma Qi may already be dead. I felt dizzy,

it must be the dead Ma Qi hovering over my head. Ma Qi!

it must be the dead Ma Qi hovering over my head. Ma Qi!

Without waiting for the end of the reading group held prior to

Without waiting for the end of the reading group held prior to

taking off work, I madly rushed down through the office

taking off work, I madly rushed down through the office

building.

building.

“Hurry up, hurry up, Liuliqiao!” 1

“Hurry up, hurry up, Liuliqiao!” 1

I hurried back by taxi, my mind at sixes and sevens, and

I hurried back by taxi, my mind at sixes and sevens, and

as expected, I had not yet arrived at the residential community

as expected, I had not yet arrived at the residential community

when I heard the wail of the police car siren.... I saw the

when I heard the wail of the police car siren.... I saw the

building where I lived surrounded, a policeman with a

building where I lived surrounded, a policeman with a

bullhorn evacuating the people from the building, the scene in

bullhorn evacuating the people from the building, the scene in

chaos. Several old ladies rolled down the stairs and fainted.

chaos. Several old ladies rolled down the stairs and fainted.

1

1

Liuliqiao, in this case, refers to a metro station in Beijing.

27

Liuliqiao, in this case, refers to a metro station in Beijing.

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Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 13, Nov., 2018

My arrival immediately drew the attention of a middle-

My arrival immediately drew the attention of a middle-

aged woman who lived opposite me, she was running all

aged woman who lived opposite me, she was running all

around randomly, and at the sight of me, as if at the sight of

around randomly, and at the sight of me, as if at the sight of

her foe who had perpetrated ten unpardonable crimes, she

her foe who had perpetrated ten unpardonable crimes, she

caught me: “It’s him! It’s him! These outsiders! Terrorists!

caught me: “It’s him! It’s him! These outsiders! Terrorists!

You want to die, die by drinking pesticide, but why do you

You want to die, die by drinking pesticide, but why do you

come to harm us?”

come to harm us?”

“What’s going on? Let go of me!” I was wrathful, only

“What’s going on? Let go of me!” I was wrathful, only

intending to rush upstairs, but was surrounded by more people.

intending to rush upstairs, but was surrounded by more people.

“Courting death! Is that what you want to do?!” The police

“Courting death! Is that what you want to do?!” The police

also hurried up there, not distinguishing green from red, black

also hurried up there, not distinguishing green from red, black

from white, and pinned me down on the ground, till they

from white, and pinned me down on the ground, till they

heard that I was the roommate of the suicidal man, then got

heard that I was the roommate of the suicidal man, then got

rough with me: “Stand up! Got the key? Take it out!”

rough with me: “Stand up! Got the key? Take it out!”

I handed the key to the police, my hand holding the key

I handed the key to the police, my hand holding the key

shaking: “Is, is anybody dead? Police?” The police ignored

shaking: “Is, is anybody dead? Police?” The police ignored

me, walking upstairs one after another. At this time, the one

me, walking upstairs one after another. At this time, the one

answering me was a man with huge bags under his eyes and

answering me was a man with huge bags under his eyes and

quite big eyeballs protruding out, as if out of the blue, and

quite big eyeballs protruding out, as if out of the blue, and

moving closer to my ear he spoke: “It’s going to explode! The

moving closer to my ear he spoke: “It’s going to explode! The

apartment is full of gas! You don’t know yet?...”

apartment is full of gas! You don’t know yet?...”

I was scared to the point of nearly collapsing, as if

I was scared to the point of nearly collapsing, as if

someone had drawn the strength out of my body: “Ma Qi, Ma

someone had drawn the strength out of my body: “Ma Qi, Ma

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Qi, you must think on the bright side! I don’t want you to

Qi, you must think on the bright side! I don’t want you to

die!”

die!”

It turned out that in the afternoon Ma Qi had switched on the

It turned out that in the afternoon Ma Qi had switched on the

gas valve. The stenchy gas had sizzled. The gas had spread

gas valve. The stenchy gas had sizzled. The gas had spread

through the door crack and then up the staircase, and the

through the door crack and then up the staircase, and the

upstairs residents had called the police. However, when Ma

upstairs residents had called the police. However, when Ma

Qi had finally for once made up his mind to leave the world,

Qi had finally for once made up his mind to leave the world,

unluckily he had been rescued by my timely arrival. When I

unluckily he had been rescued by my timely arrival. When I

saw him in the detention center, he was thinner, both eyes dull,

saw him in the detention center, he was thinner, both eyes dull,

and he at first ignored me, then cried. I knew, that was

and he at first ignored me, then cried. I knew, that was

because of shame, and if it were me, I would also feel I had

because of shame, and if it were me, I would also feel I had

no face to show to anyone.

no face to show to anyone.

I said to him: “Ma Qi, enjoy life. You are Yong Liang’s

I said to him: “Ma Qi, enjoy life. You are Yong Liang’s

cousin, and I’m Yong Liang’s friend, so I won’t leave you

cousin, and I’m Yong Liang’s friend, so I won’t leave you

behind, and in any case, whether one person lives there or two,

behind, and in any case, whether one person lives there or two,

the rent is the same. A resolute person will finally succeed, so

the rent is the same. A resolute person will finally succeed, so

be an optimistic person, a positive person. You are young and,

be an optimistic person, a positive person. You are young and,

after all, will have a lot more opportunities than I will....”

after all, will have a lot more opportunities than I will....”

Actually, I spoke such lines too much, nearly making

Actually, I spoke such lines too much, nearly making

them go sour, yet Ma Qi never argued back. But this time, Ma

them go sour, yet Ma Qi never argued back. But this time, Ma

Qi began to roar: “Humph! Don’t be so hypocritical! Seeing

Qi began to roar: “Humph! Don’t be so hypocritical! Seeing

me not dead, your heart is ill-at-ease, right? I tell you, I know

me not dead, your heart is ill-at-ease, right? I tell you, I know

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you hate me, eager for me to die soon, hating it that you can't

you hate me, eager for me to die soon, hating it that you can't

butcher me! You just rest assured, I won’t be a burden on you

butcher me! You just rest assured, I won’t be a burden on you

anymore!” While speaking, his liver-qi 2 was ignited, and he

anymore!” While speaking, his liver-qi 2 was ignited, and he

began to shout.

began to shout.

I went home alone, so angry that I felt chest pain. Talk

I went home alone, so angry that I felt chest pain. Talk

about hating him, I truly hated him. Who had the obligation to

about hating him, I truly hated him. Who had the obligation to

bring him up? What’s more, his feeling of wanting to die

bring him up? What’s more, his feeling of wanting to die

more or less affected my normal life. I even suspected that he

more or less affected my normal life. I even suspected that he

had been pretending, he had been using the “I want to commit

had been pretending, he had been using the “I want to commit

suicide” to obtain his right to exist. However, yesterday’s

suicide” to obtain his right to exist. However, yesterday’s

facts, they overturned this idea of mine.

facts, they overturned this idea of mine.

Why didn’t Ma Qi want to live? On this point, Yong

Why didn’t Ma Qi want to live? On this point, Yong

Liang had never informed me. So just let him go die! If

Liang had never informed me. So just let him go die! If

someone wants to die, even God has no solution. However,

someone wants to die, even God has no solution. However,

things were not that simple – two weeks later, my friend Tile

things were not that simple – two weeks later, my friend Tile

phoned and told me that in the middle of the night Ma Qi had

phoned and told me that in the middle of the night Ma Qi had

knocked on his door wanting to live there with him, and then

knocked on his door wanting to live there with him, and then

he asked me, Does this Ma Qi usually not like to talk? I said,

he asked me, Does this Ma Qi usually not like to talk? I said,

Yes, he often weeps alone, without a word. Tile next asked

Yes, he often weeps alone, without a word. Tile next asked

me, Does he also like to collect some popular science

me, Does he also like to collect some popular science

knowledge about bears, hedgehogs, amphibians and such?

knowledge about bears, hedgehogs, amphibians and such?

2

2

Liver-qi: diseases with symptoms such as chest pain, vomiting, and diarrhea.

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Liver-qi: diseases with symptoms such as chest pain, vomiting, and diarrhea.

30

I was in a daze for a while. I didn’t remember Ma Qi

I was in a daze for a while. I didn’t remember Ma Qi

having the passion for popular science. He usually liked to

having the passion for popular science. He usually liked to

keep saying that, “once one wants to commit suicide, he will

keep saying that, “once one wants to commit suicide, he will

always want to commit suicide,” and besides, he also liked to

always want to commit suicide,” and besides, he also liked to

watch some videos about suicide. Tile didn’t speak after

watch some videos about suicide. Tile didn’t speak after

hearing this, so I asked him, Did you hear me? He sighed, and

hearing this, so I asked him, Did you hear me? He sighed, and

he said that the first day Ma Qi lived there with him he

he said that the first day Ma Qi lived there with him he

downloaded many suicide videos onto his computer, that now

downloaded many suicide videos onto his computer, that now

he didn’t dare turn on his own computer. I thought to myself,

he didn’t dare turn on his own computer. I thought to myself,

He came to you and then you took him in, so it serves you

He came to you and then you took him in, so it serves you

right!

right!

Later on, Tile phoned me a lot. He said he was nearly

Later on, Tile phoned me a lot. He said he was nearly

falling apart. He was a re-writer under the command of a

falling apart. He was a re-writer under the command of a

famous television script writer, he must finish a ten-thousand-

famous television script writer, he must finish a ten-thousand-

character preliminary television script draft every day, the

character preliminary television script draft every day, the

source of his livelihood was precisely these trashy characters.

source of his livelihood was precisely these trashy characters.

That famous television script writer would have his

That famous television script writer would have his

preliminary draft again processed by other re-writers, till one

preliminary draft again processed by other re-writers, till one

day Tile would be on television and see a patchwork story in

day Tile would be on television and see a patchwork story in

which a plot designed by him would occasionally emerge...

which a plot designed by him would occasionally emerge...

Tile said that television script writer criticized him, saying

Tile said that television script writer criticized him, saying

that he shouldn’t have inserted a bizarre suicide into the new

that he shouldn’t have inserted a bizarre suicide into the new

script....

script....

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Tile’s meaning was self-evident, indeed he hoped I would

Tile’s meaning was self-evident, indeed he hoped I would

take Ma Qi back so that his creative work wouldn’t be

take Ma Qi back so that his creative work wouldn’t be

disturbed. I just didn’t give in. Tile had to continue venting

disturbed. I just didn’t give in. Tile had to continue venting

his grievances to me, and then, he suddenly said: “Since you

his grievances to me, and then, he suddenly said: “Since you

won’t take him back, I have to transfer him!”

won’t take him back, I have to transfer him!”

I was startled: “Transfer?”

I was startled: “Transfer?”

Tile asked me in return: “You transferred him from Yong

Tile asked me in return: “You transferred him from Yong

Liang to me, didn’t you?”

Liang to me, didn’t you?”

With my mouth open, not knowing what to say, I said: “I didn’t have the heart to drive him out into the street.”

With my mouth open, not knowing what to say, I said: “I didn’t have the heart to drive him out into the street.”

Tile said: “I want to transfer him to Hu Xiong!”

Tile said: “I want to transfer him to Hu Xiong!”

My mind finally turned the corner.

My mind finally turned the corner.

In those years, myself, Yong Liang, Tile, and Hu Xiong

In those years, myself, Yong Liang, Tile, and Hu Xiong

had gotten to know each other on the internet, chatting

had gotten to know each other on the internet, chatting

heartily about life in the chat room, all of us thinking that we

heartily about life in the chat room, all of us thinking that we

couldn’t continue staying in small towns, so we reached an

couldn’t continue staying in small towns, so we reached an

agreement and came to Beijing. We lived in basements,

agreement and came to Beijing. We lived in basements,

nibbled steamed buns and ate instant noodles, each of us

nibbled steamed buns and ate instant noodles, each of us

dreaming of the big bout. Several years later, only Yong

dreaming of the big bout. Several years later, only Yong

Liang advanced to a newspaper office, while Hu Xiong

Liang advanced to a newspaper office, while Hu Xiong

opened a culture company. Now, Yong Liang had died from

opened a culture company. Now, Yong Liang had died from

overwork, and Ma Qi had become a burden. I had truly

overwork, and Ma Qi had become a burden. I had truly

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wished Ma Qi could find something to do in Hu Xiong’s

wished Ma Qi could find something to do in Hu Xiong’s

company.

company.

It was a pity that, within the space of just three days, Ma

It was a pity that, within the space of just three days, Ma

Qi’s visit was already more than Hu Xiong could bear. He

Qi’s visit was already more than Hu Xiong could bear. He

asked me like this on the phone: “What’s the matter with this

asked me like this on the phone: “What’s the matter with this

Ma Qi, all day long absent-minded? I wanted to arrange for

Ma Qi, all day long absent-minded? I wanted to arrange for

him to do something, but found him working very

him to do something, but found him working very

inefficiently, and not remembering things. He even walks

inefficiently, and not remembering things. He even walks

quite slow, like he is about to die. I asked him, Haven’t you

quite slow, like he is about to die. I asked him, Haven’t you

woken up yet? He said he suffered from insomnia, and

woken up yet? He said he suffered from insomnia, and

however late he fell asleep, every day he would always wake

however late he fell asleep, every day he would always wake

up at four in the morning. I said, You take a noon nap later.

up at four in the morning. I said, You take a noon nap later.

He even said he wished to fall asleep, and to never wake up

He even said he wished to fall asleep, and to never wake up

from then on.”

from then on.”

I had to explain to Hu Xiong: Ma Qi suffers from

I had to explain to Hu Xiong: Ma Qi suffers from

depression. Unexpectedly Hu Xiong gave a loud roar:

depression. Unexpectedly Hu Xiong gave a loud roar:

“Depression, whatever! I see his whole body oozing with

“Depression, whatever! I see his whole body oozing with

laziness! The sky hasn’t fallen down, but he has gone so far as

laziness! The sky hasn’t fallen down, but he has gone so far as

to enclose himself in the room, and even wants me to prepare

to enclose himself in the room, and even wants me to prepare

for him twenty-five kilograms of fat meat, fifteen kilograms

for him twenty-five kilograms of fat meat, fifteen kilograms

of sweet food and ten kilograms of chocolate. I asked him,

of sweet food and ten kilograms of chocolate. I asked him,

What do you do this for? He said winter was coming and he

What do you do this for? He said winter was coming and he

wanted to store calories. Mother fuck! What does he store so

wanted to store calories. Mother fuck! What does he store so

many calories for?”

many calories for?” 33

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I almost couldn’t believe my ears, could it be that Ma Qi,

I almost couldn’t believe my ears, could it be that Ma Qi,

in failing to commit suicide, had become schizophrenic? I had

in failing to commit suicide, had become schizophrenic? I had

to ask Hu Xiong to repeat what he had said just now. I said to

to ask Hu Xiong to repeat what he had said just now. I said to

him: “A pitiful person must have a hateful side. Among us

him: “A pitiful person must have a hateful side. Among us

few, now only you are getting on well, you just take on a bit

few, now only you are getting on well, you just take on a bit

more!”

more!”

I didn’t go to pick up Ma Qi, pick up the fart! But

I didn’t go to pick up Ma Qi, pick up the fart! But

annoyingly, Hu Xiong brought Ma Qi back. Hu Xiong gave

annoyingly, Hu Xiong brought Ma Qi back. Hu Xiong gave

me two thousand yuan and, holding up a plastic bag of fat

me two thousand yuan and, holding up a plastic bag of fat

meat and a plastic bag of chocolate, thumped my chest saying:

meat and a plastic bag of chocolate, thumped my chest saying:

“Chen Chao, Ma Qi is handed over to you. I consider him to

“Chen Chao, Ma Qi is handed over to you. I consider him to

be in a trance-like state, not very normal, so you should

be in a trance-like state, not very normal, so you should

observe him more, and if he needs treatment, just fetch money

observe him more, and if he needs treatment, just fetch money

from me here!”

from me here!”

I thought to myself: “You, just let it go! Your words are

I thought to myself: “You, just let it go! Your words are

more pleasing than a song! If you had money, why didn’t you

more pleasing than a song! If you had money, why didn’t you

hire a nanny to care for him!”

hire a nanny to care for him!”

From then on Ma Qi again was in my life. I had only

From then on Ma Qi again was in my life. I had only

gained seven days of leisure! How could I manage this? Who

gained seven days of leisure! How could I manage this? Who

asked, when Yong Liang was on the verge of death, that there

asked, when Yong Liang was on the verge of death, that there

was only me alone at the scene? Promises to the dead can’t be

was only me alone at the scene? Promises to the dead can’t be

altered.

altered.

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I’d finally had enough of it: Ma Qi was young and

I’d finally had enough of it: Ma Qi was young and

miserable looking, and still hadn’t gone out to look for a job,

miserable looking, and still hadn’t gone out to look for a job,

nor had he taken part in any social activities, and he spoke

nor had he taken part in any social activities, and he spoke

less than before, but ate more than before.... Anyway, from

less than before, but ate more than before.... Anyway, from

then on, he became mysterious, sluggish, like the god of

then on, he became mysterious, sluggish, like the god of

plague, curling up in front of the computer all the day fiddling

plague, curling up in front of the computer all the day fiddling

with that popular science Tile had mentioned to me. All of

with that popular science Tile had mentioned to me. All of

this knowledge was about animals wintering....

this knowledge was about animals wintering....

Faced with such a person, I felt I was also falling ill:

Faced with such a person, I felt I was also falling ill:

“Mother fuck, 24 hours a day gathering these worthless things,

“Mother fuck, 24 hours a day gathering these worthless things,

besides making you especially able to eat, is there any other

besides making you especially able to eat, is there any other

use? I’ve already told you, if you want to die, you just go

use? I’ve already told you, if you want to die, you just go

die!”

die!”

Admittedly, Ma Qi blushed. It proved that he still

Admittedly, Ma Qi blushed. It proved that he still

maintained a sense of shame. He said this: “I gained quite a

maintained a sense of shame. He said this: “I gained quite a

lot at the detention center, I’ve gone through a good many

lot at the detention center, I’ve gone through a good many

things. Whether I can make it or not, Brother Chen, I think...

things. Whether I can make it or not, Brother Chen, I think...

this is an introspection, introspection about returning to the

this is an introspection, introspection about returning to the

right path.”

right path.”

“Your fucking introspection!” I really wanted to scold him, but I held back.

“Your fucking introspection!” I really wanted to scold him, but I held back.

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He still kept talking: “I want to give myself a kind of

He still kept talking: “I want to give myself a kind of

psychological suggestion, good psychological suggestion, and

psychological suggestion, good psychological suggestion, and

I want to live, none of us have to die....”

I want to live, none of us have to die....”

“Then you, just don’t die!”

“Then you, just don’t die!”

“But after all, I am on my way going forward on the right

“But after all, I am on my way going forward on the right

path. Earlier, I also struggled, I’ve become weary, and have

path. Earlier, I also struggled, I’ve become weary, and have

lost the pleasure of life, people, sometimes only wanting to

lost the pleasure of life, people, sometimes only wanting to

stop to gasp for air!... Brother Chen, how could it be that

stop to gasp for air!... Brother Chen, how could it be that

you’ve never experienced a moment like this? Even just for a

you’ve never experienced a moment like this? Even just for a

moment, escaping?!”

moment, escaping?!”

I didn’t like someone forcibly questioning my innermost

I didn’t like someone forcibly questioning my innermost

being with two glaring eyes. He still wanted to say something,

being with two glaring eyes. He still wanted to say something,

I gave him a slap: “Shut up! Don’t tell me these big principles!

I gave him a slap: “Shut up! Don’t tell me these big principles!

Insane!”

Insane!”

He was standing, feeling wronged, excited, but he didn’t

He was standing, feeling wronged, excited, but he didn’t

strike back. From that day on, he didn’t speak to me anymore,

strike back. From that day on, he didn’t speak to me anymore,

and he didn’t have meals either, curling up on the shabby sofa,

and he didn’t have meals either, curling up on the shabby sofa,

eyes closed. I thought to myself, you have guts, I’ll see how

eyes closed. I thought to myself, you have guts, I’ll see how

many days you can go hungry. Do you even want to counter

many days you can go hungry. Do you even want to counter

me by fasting? I won’t fall for this trick of yours!

me by fasting? I won’t fall for this trick of yours!

For three days in a row, he seemed to never come down

For three days in a row, he seemed to never come down

from the sofa. At first I suspected he would take advantage of

from the sofa. At first I suspected he would take advantage of

my going to work to get up and eat stuff, and move about, but

my going to work to get up and eat stuff, and move about, but

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as I carefully observed the way he was laying, the way the

as I carefully observed the way he was laying, the way the

bowls and the chopsticks were placed, and also the stains on

bowls and the chopsticks were placed, and also the stains on

the toilet bowl, I judged that from beginning to end he had

the toilet bowl, I judged that from beginning to end he had

maintained the same posture, like a zombie. I was scared.

maintained the same posture, like a zombie. I was scared.

With my finger I tentatively reached out over his mouth,

With my finger I tentatively reached out over his mouth,

fortunately, still breathing.

fortunately, still breathing.

“You haven’t succeeded in dying yet?”

“You haven’t succeeded in dying yet?”

“Oh, Oh.”

“Oh, Oh.”

“Then you just keep pretending to be dead!”

“Then you just keep pretending to be dead!”

“I’ve been holding back all along.... Brother Chen, I’m

“I’ve been holding back all along.... Brother Chen, I’m

terribly starved, now is not the time.”

terribly starved, now is not the time.”

“What do you mean?”

“What do you mean?”

“Hibernate.”

“Hibernate.”

“Hibernate?!”

“Hibernate?!”

“Yes, I want to hibernate.”

“Yes, I want to hibernate.”

“I’ve never heard of it before!”

“I’ve never heard of it before!”

“Brother Chen, in the detention center, it’s like this: I

“Brother Chen, in the detention center, it’s like this: I

forgot to say... I picked up a newspaper, probably some police

forgot to say... I picked up a newspaper, probably some police

conveniently threw it down on the ground, I still keep it. I

conveniently threw it down on the ground, I still keep it. I

read it every day.” Saying this, Ma Qi stood up, and because

read it every day.” Saying this, Ma Qi stood up, and because

of having been curled up motionlessly for a long time, his

of having been curled up motionlessly for a long time, his

knees trembled a bit, “Look, exactly this paragraph.”

knees trembled a bit, “Look, exactly this paragraph.”

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I saw on an oil-stained newspaper a news item printed like this:

I saw on an oil-stained newspaper a news item printed like this:

Newspaper report, United Kingdom, local time, August

Newspaper report, United Kingdom, local time, August

fourth news, according to a report in the recently

fourth news, according to a report in the recently

published

published

scientific

magazine,

Geography,

scientific

magazine,

Geography,

archaeologists of Australian prehistory have discovered

archaeologists of Australian prehistory have discovered

a cave where primitive humans in ancient times

a cave where primitive humans in ancient times

hibernated. In the cave were found some traces of

hibernated. In the cave were found some traces of

hibernation by the primitive humans, revealing physical

hibernation by the primitive humans, revealing physical

evidence of human hibernation one million years ago,

evidence of human hibernation one million years ago,

being of great academic value.

being of great academic value.

For a long time now, the question of how primitive

For a long time now, the question of how primitive

humans got through winter without clothes has been

humans got through winter without clothes has been

puzzling scientists. Once there was someone who

puzzling scientists. Once there was someone who

asserted that the important dividing line distinguishing

asserted that the important dividing line distinguishing

between humans and animals is that primitive humans

between humans and animals is that primitive humans

realized that fire can make one warm. When winter drew

realized that fire can make one warm. When winter drew

near, primitive humans got close to the fire, and their use

near, primitive humans got close to the fire, and their use

of fire was one of the means by which they defended

of fire was one of the means by which they defended

against the cold. However, scientists have all along been

against the cold. However, scientists have all along been

unable to come up with any explanation of how humans

unable to come up with any explanation of how humans

got through winter before the use of fire. The discovery of

got through winter before the use of fire. The discovery of

the cave where humankind hibernated reflects that the

the cave where humankind hibernated reflects that the

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ancestors of humankind had the custom of hibernation,

ancestors of humankind had the custom of hibernation,

and in this way they went through long and cold seasons.

and in this way they went through long and cold seasons.

According to the report, the hibernation site is

According to the report, the hibernation site is

located at the 12-kilometre point up the southwest slope

located at the 12-kilometre point up the southwest slope

of the Apophis Mountain, 252 meters above the ground,

of the Apophis Mountain, 252 meters above the ground,

with the cave entrance facing due south, approximately

with the cave entrance facing due south, approximately

0.6 meters high and around 18 meters wide, with the cave

0.6 meters high and around 18 meters wide, with the cave

divided into two parts, an outer hall and, behind it, a

divided into two parts, an outer hall and, behind it, a

long tunnel. The biggest difference between the above-

long tunnel. The biggest difference between the above-

mentioned cave and the grottoes where primitive humans

mentioned cave and the grottoes where primitive humans

lived is that this cave was not naturally formed, but was

lived is that this cave was not naturally formed, but was

dug by primitive humans using stone implements, the

dug by primitive humans using stone implements, the

cave interior is dry and unventilated, and humans had to

cave interior is dry and unventilated, and humans had to

crawl to enter it. According to estimates, the cave could

crawl to enter it. According to estimates, the cave could

simultaneously accommodate 2000 people hugging

simultaneously accommodate 2000 people hugging

together as they entered the period of hibernation,

together as they entered the period of hibernation,

neither eating nor drinking.

neither eating nor drinking.

I was half convinced, and I thought the stuff printed in

I was half convinced, and I thought the stuff printed in

the newspaper was usually dependable. However, such an

the newspaper was usually dependable. However, such an

important scientific discovery, why no media crazily hyping it?

important scientific discovery, why no media crazily hyping it?

I asked Ma Qi, and Ma Qi said: “There are a lot of reports

I asked Ma Qi, and Ma Qi said: “There are a lot of reports

about this topic, I’ve researched some English language

about this topic, I’ve researched some English language

websites, it's all there. Do you know why this piece of news

websites, it's all there. Do you know why this piece of news

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vanished so quickly?” I said I didn’t know. Ma Qi said that

vanished so quickly?” I said I didn’t know. Ma Qi said that

was because of a fear of disorder.

was because of a fear of disorder.

To tell the truth, I didn’t at all understand what the logic

To tell the truth, I didn’t at all understand what the logic

of this was. Ma Qi explained to me: “Aren’t you aware that

of this was. Ma Qi explained to me: “Aren’t you aware that

once modern people resumed primitive man’s custom of

once modern people resumed primitive man’s custom of

hibernation (spread a lot of propaganda, and naturally there

hibernation (spread a lot of propaganda, and naturally there

will be people willing to give it a try), this would be a

will be people willing to give it a try), this would be a

troublesome affair? Firstly, productive forces would be

troublesome affair? Firstly, productive forces would be

affected; secondly, social order would be destroyed; thirdly,

affected; secondly, social order would be destroyed; thirdly,

the army would become lax in combat effectiveness; fourthly,

the army would become lax in combat effectiveness; fourthly,

criminals would escape to cold areas and hide in caves and,

criminals would escape to cold areas and hide in caves and,

by means of hibernation, avoid arrest....”

by means of hibernation, avoid arrest....”

I think about it, and indeed it would be, for if humans all

I think about it, and indeed it would be, for if humans all

hid underground to hibernate as soon as winter comes, how

hid underground to hibernate as soon as winter comes, how

would the society develop? However, connecting humans

would the society develop? However, connecting humans

with hibernation, isn’t this too unreasonable? Hibernation is a

with hibernation, isn’t this too unreasonable? Hibernation is a

capacity of animals. Ma Qi said: “Haven’t you heard of

capacity of animals. Ma Qi said: “Haven’t you heard of

Northeasterners’ ‘cat wintering’? In Russia, in Siberia, the

Northeasterners’ ‘cat wintering’? In Russia, in Siberia, the

residents there, as soon as winter comes, don’t even put a foot

residents there, as soon as winter comes, don’t even put a foot

outside the door for as long as half a year, and the way they

outside the door for as long as half a year, and the way they

go through winter is very similar to hibernation.”

go through winter is very similar to hibernation.”

“But cat wintering, after all, is not hibernation.”

40

“But cat wintering, after all, is not hibernation.”

40

“Then haven't you thought about what a happiness cat wintering is?”

“Then haven't you thought about what a happiness cat wintering is?”

“That’s it, that’s it.”

“That’s it, that’s it.”

That day, me and Ma Qi discussed the question of

That day, me and Ma Qi discussed the question of

hibernation. To my surprise, when Ma Qi talked about

hibernation. To my surprise, when Ma Qi talked about

hibernation, his two eyes sparkled brightly, his emotions

hibernation, his two eyes sparkled brightly, his emotions

roused, as if never before so healthy. Ma Qi added: “Actually,

roused, as if never before so healthy. Ma Qi added: “Actually,

in hibernation there is no harm at all, harm is what the

in hibernation there is no harm at all, harm is what the

officials say. In my opinion, hibernation not only can relieve

officials say. In my opinion, hibernation not only can relieve

the pressure on the earth, but also can let a person gain

the pressure on the earth, but also can let a person gain

sufficient rest; most, most importantly, hibernation can let the

sufficient rest; most, most importantly, hibernation can let the

poor get through a season when there is shortage of clothes

poor get through a season when there is shortage of clothes

and food!”

and food!”

I suddenly found me and Ma Qi’s common language

I suddenly found me and Ma Qi’s common language

suddenly increasing!

suddenly increasing!

What followed was a period of especially hectic days. The

What followed was a period of especially hectic days. The

psychopathic boss imitated the Japanese management style in

psychopathic boss imitated the Japanese management style in

order to extract the sap from the trunk of me and my

order to extract the sap from the trunk of me and my

colleagues. As soon as we sold out of the Great Feng Shui

colleagues. As soon as we sold out of the Great Feng Shui

Master, we were ordered to make a kind of upscale gift called

Master, we were ordered to make a kind of upscale gift called

Golden Books (Golden Books had for a while been especially

Golden Books (Golden Books had for a while been especially

popular). If a Golden Books printing of Sunzi’s The Art of

popular). If a Golden Books printing of Sunzi’s The Art of

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Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 13, Nov., 2018

War were successful, the boss would make a profit of over ten

War were successful, the boss would make a profit of over ten

million yuan. But we, in order to earn a salary of three

million yuan. But we, in order to earn a salary of three

thousand yuan every month, had to live at the company even

thousand yuan every month, had to live at the company even

at night.

at night.

We were working eighteen hours a day. Under such

We were working eighteen hours a day. Under such

pressure, people nearly lose contact with the outside world.

pressure, people nearly lose contact with the outside world.

One day, Ma Qi phoned, telling me that from searching online

One day, Ma Qi phoned, telling me that from searching online

he had finally found a piece of news about hibernation, and he

he had finally found a piece of news about hibernation, and he

insisted that I have a look. I checked the web address he

insisted that I have a look. I checked the web address he

provided, and after inputting it and opening it, I read a report

provided, and after inputting it and opening it, I read a report

that goes like this:

that goes like this:

Swiss Man Survives 24 Days through “Hibernation”

Swiss Man Survives 24 Days through “Hibernation”

A man, while climbing a mountain in the south central

A man, while climbing a mountain in the south central

region of Switzerland, went missing, and survived 24

region of Switzerland, went missing, and survived 24

days without eating or drinking, entering into what is

days without eating or drinking, entering into what is

known to doctors as a state of “hibernation.” This man,

known to doctors as a state of “hibernation.” This man,

after a complete recovery, has been back at work since

after a complete recovery, has been back at work since

November 20.

November 20.

This man by the name of John, age 35, went to climb

This man by the name of John, age 35, went to climb

the Alps with friends on October 3 this year, and

the Alps with friends on October 3 this year, and

afterwards he went downhill alone, subsequently falling

afterwards he went downhill alone, subsequently falling

over a cliff and sustaining injury to his back, with no

over a cliff and sustaining injury to his back, with no

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choice but to lie where he was. At that time, the only food

choice but to lie where he was. At that time, the only food

with him was a bottle of Korean barbecue sauce.

with him was a bottle of Korean barbecue sauce.

“I was lying on the sod, feeling not too bad under the

“I was lying on the sod, feeling not too bad under the

sunshine, and finally fell asleep.” John said, “This is the

sunshine, and finally fell asleep.” John said, “This is the

last thing I remember.”

last thing I remember.”

Not until 24 days after he met with distress were the

Not until 24 days after he met with distress were the

rescuers able to find John. The doctor said that his body

rescuers able to find John. The doctor said that his body

temperature at that time was only 22 degrees centigrade,

temperature at that time was only 22 degrees centigrade,

and “had entered into a low-temperature state similar to

and “had entered into a low-temperature state similar to

hibernation,” greatly slowing down his metabolism,

hibernation,” greatly slowing down his metabolism,

many organs functioning more slowly, but his cerebral

many organs functioning more slowly, but his cerebral

function was under protection, and now he has returned

function was under protection, and now he has returned

to normal.

to normal.

However, the medical community is still not able to

However, the medical community is still not able to

determine how John survived several weeks in a state

determine how John survived several weeks in a state

where his body metabolism had come almost to a

where his body metabolism had come almost to a

standstill. “If a sick person were really to survive that

standstill. “If a sick person were really to survive that

long at such a low temperature, this case would be

long at such a low temperature, this case would be

revolutionary,” said Professor Latin, researcher of

revolutionary,” said Professor Latin, researcher of

hibernation at the University of Cambridge .

hibernation at the University of Cambridge .

Scientists believe human hibernation is, in principle,

Scientists believe human hibernation is, in principle,

possible, and if it could become actual, it could be used

possible, and if it could become actual, it could be used

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in the treatment of cerebral hemorrhage and other fatal

in the treatment of cerebral hemorrhage and other fatal

conditions to slow down the speed of cell death.

conditions to slow down the speed of cell death.

Having read this news, how could I not be excited? The

Having read this news, how could I not be excited? The

Swiss man’s case let me finally see hope for modern man’s

Swiss man’s case let me finally see hope for modern man’s

same ability to hibernate. With this kind of hope, I would

same ability to hibernate. With this kind of hope, I would

really fuckin’ love to sleep for ten years, twenty years! I

really fuckin’ love to sleep for ten years, twenty years! I

phoned home at once: “Ma Qi, did you read the news to the

phoned home at once: “Ma Qi, did you read the news to the

last paragraph? Human hibernation is in principle possible!”

last paragraph? Human hibernation is in principle possible!”

“Far more than in principle, obviously it is a fact!”

“Far more than in principle, obviously it is a fact!”

“Ma Qi, I’m on your side! If you succeed, next year let’s

“Ma Qi, I’m on your side! If you succeed, next year let’s

hibernate together!”

hibernate together!”

Ma Qi said: “I’ve been waiting for you to say that. These

Ma Qi said: “I’ve been waiting for you to say that. These

two days I’ve even dreamed dreams of myself hibernating.

two days I’ve even dreamed dreams of myself hibernating.

But it’s a pity that heating has been provided around the

But it’s a pity that heating has been provided around the

community, and the indoor temperature is too high, so I’m

community, and the indoor temperature is too high, so I’m

thinking of hibernating outside. I want to hibernate down

thinking of hibernating outside. I want to hibernate down

there under the lawn below the building, and I’ve investigated

there under the lawn below the building, and I’ve investigated

it, both dry and easy to dig, lying underneath will be neither

it, both dry and easy to dig, lying underneath will be neither

cold nor hot, just right!”

cold nor hot, just right!”

But I hadn’t expected this at all, and I said: “You’d better

But I hadn’t expected this at all, and I said: “You’d better

be cautious about hibernating outside, lying underground

be cautious about hibernating outside, lying underground

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won’t you freeze to ice? What if you were dug up and eaten

won’t you freeze to ice? What if you were dug up and eaten

by a dog?”

by a dog?”

Ma Qi said: “If I want to hibernate, I have to dig out a

Ma Qi said: “If I want to hibernate, I have to dig out a

cave and burrow into it, caves are of a constant temperature,

cave and burrow into it, caves are of a constant temperature,

like well water, at four degrees centigrade. Brother Chen,

like well water, at four degrees centigrade. Brother Chen,

tomorrow you just come back, bury me underground! Wait

tomorrow you just come back, bury me underground! Wait

until next year when it is warm to dig me out!”

until next year when it is warm to dig me out!”

At this thought, I felt a little scared: “This... may cause

At this thought, I felt a little scared: “This... may cause

death, and will the old ladies in the community permit us to

death, and will the old ladies in the community permit us to

dig out a cave in the lawn?”

dig out a cave in the lawn?”

Ma Qi said: “Then we just go to the outskirts by bus, dig

Ma Qi said: “Then we just go to the outskirts by bus, dig

in a cornfield. Lying in the cornfield in the outskirts, I can be

in a cornfield. Lying in the cornfield in the outskirts, I can be

regarded as returning to nature!”

regarded as returning to nature!”

But it was still unacceptable for me to bury a person alive

But it was still unacceptable for me to bury a person alive

underground. For to my awareness, only a dead person

underground. For to my awareness, only a dead person

deserved a piece of land to let him rest in peace. I answered

deserved a piece of land to let him rest in peace. I answered

him impatiently: “Do you think nobody supervises the

him impatiently: “Do you think nobody supervises the

cornfield? Now even a septic tank has a supervisor. I'll inform

cornfield? Now even a septic tank has a supervisor. I'll inform

you that, in Beijing, you only deserve to breathe a few gulps

you that, in Beijing, you only deserve to breathe a few gulps

of stinky air! You just hibernate on the balcony! Open the

of stinky air! You just hibernate on the balcony! Open the

glass window of the balcony! Then, spread a layer of fine

glass window of the balcony! Then, spread a layer of fine

sand.... Can’t you just lie on the balcony and hibernate?”

sand.... Can’t you just lie on the balcony and hibernate?”

Ma Qi, on the other end, turned silent. 45

Ma Qi, on the other end, turned silent. 45

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At this time, I was about to say something, and the boss

At this time, I was about to say something, and the boss

walked in, so I hurried to set down the telephone. The boss

walked in, so I hurried to set down the telephone. The boss

said to me: “Chen Chao, lately you’ve been absent-minded at

said to me: “Chen Chao, lately you’ve been absent-minded at

work, what’s the matter?”

work, what’s the matter?”

I lowered my head, saying nothing. The boss was mad:

I lowered my head, saying nothing. The boss was mad:

“Within three days, you provide me a plan for selling Sunzi’s

“Within three days, you provide me a plan for selling Sunzi’s

The Art of War! To date, you haven’t had one volume ordered,

The Art of War! To date, you haven’t had one volume ordered,

you go look at the others, all of them phoning customers!”

you go look at the others, all of them phoning customers!”

Then I was busy for half a month. This half of a month

Then I was busy for half a month. This half of a month

my only value was selling over seventy sets of Sunzi’s The

my only value was selling over seventy sets of Sunzi’s The

Art of War, and I earned several hundred thousand yuan for

Art of War, and I earned several hundred thousand yuan for

the boss. However, one morning, the sales task the boss had

the boss. However, one morning, the sales task the boss had

personally drawn up for us came down anyway.

personally drawn up for us came down anyway.

This was a long list of Arabic numbers that, stretching his

This was a long list of Arabic numbers that, stretching his

arms a bit, he wrote down with a ballpoint pen on a chart,

arms a bit, he wrote down with a ballpoint pen on a chart,

these numbers were very graceful, like timid love letters. But

these numbers were very graceful, like timid love letters. But

after reading, darkness entered my eyes, our last days arriving.

after reading, darkness entered my eyes, our last days arriving.

In spite of this, the boss yet again promised us that the

In spite of this, the boss yet again promised us that the

one whose sales performance first surpassed the formulated

one whose sales performance first surpassed the formulated

plan would be promoted to candidate for the position of sales

plan would be promoted to candidate for the position of sales

director. But nobody’s blood would boil for an illusory

director. But nobody’s blood would boil for an illusory

promise again. From then on, throughout the next week, I

promise again. From then on, throughout the next week, I

neglected sleep and forgot to eat, even held my pee until my

neglected sleep and forgot to eat, even held my pee until my

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bladder hurt before rushing to go pee, but the yield was to sell

bladder hurt before rushing to go pee, but the yield was to sell

only twenty sets. In addition, in the market there was more

only twenty sets. In addition, in the market there was more

and more negative public opinion about the Golden Books, it

and more negative public opinion about the Golden Books, it

seemed the publication of Golden Books was about to be

seemed the publication of Golden Books was about to be

limited. At this time, our boss was biting us like a rabid dog,

limited. At this time, our boss was biting us like a rabid dog,

wanting to have the Golden Books sold out before the

wanting to have the Golden Books sold out before the

issuance of the ban. I was nearly falling apart!

issuance of the ban. I was nearly falling apart!

The confrontation between me and the boss finally

The confrontation between me and the boss finally

happened at the morning meeting for the compulsory chanting

happened at the morning meeting for the compulsory chanting

of slogans. Since a lot of Golden Books still had not been sold,

of slogans. Since a lot of Golden Books still had not been sold,

the boss required each of us to come up with a motivational

the boss required each of us to come up with a motivational

slogan. At the morning meeting that day, slogans were

slogan. At the morning meeting that day, slogans were

chanted from the mouths of twenty people: “Pledge to fight to

chanted from the mouths of twenty people: “Pledge to fight to

the death in selling out the Golden Books, and resist to the

the death in selling out the Golden Books, and resist to the

end the decree that bans Golden Books! Comrades, let’s rush

end the decree that bans Golden Books! Comrades, let’s rush

into 2008 with excellent sales performance!” “Those who ban

into 2008 with excellent sales performance!” “Those who ban

Golden Books are our enemies! Solidarity means victory!

Golden Books are our enemies! Solidarity means victory!

Welcome the ultimate test!” “Don’t waste one more minute!

Welcome the ultimate test!” “Don’t waste one more minute!

Don’t keep thinking about the trip back home! Let’s join

Don’t keep thinking about the trip back home! Let’s join

hands and strike down all of the stumbling stones that

hands and strike down all of the stumbling stones that

prevents the sales of Golden Books! Don’t be a coward who

prevents the sales of Golden Books! Don’t be a coward who

hinders company growth!...”

hinders company growth!...”

I was scared stiff by the heaven-shaking slogans, and I

I was scared stiff by the heaven-shaking slogans, and I

wanted to squeeze out a slogan, but couldn’t come up with

wanted to squeeze out a slogan, but couldn’t come up with

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anything. My tinnitus was like a buzzing helicopter.

anything. My tinnitus was like a buzzing helicopter.

Gradually, I couldn’t hear any slogan, with those colleagues

Gradually, I couldn’t hear any slogan, with those colleagues

stamping their feet and roaring wrathfully like mad beasts

stamping their feet and roaring wrathfully like mad beasts

howling in the wilderness.... At that moment, standing beside

howling in the wilderness.... At that moment, standing beside

me, the financial executive, Old Zhang, suddenly became

me, the financial executive, Old Zhang, suddenly became

weak in his legs, his body shaky, and I, with sharp eyes and

weak in his legs, his body shaky, and I, with sharp eyes and

agile hands, steadied him at once. Old Zhang was aged,

agile hands, steadied him at once. Old Zhang was aged,

extremely thin and weak, and in order to buy an apartment for

extremely thin and weak, and in order to buy an apartment for

his only son, he still worked outside after retirement.... Old

his only son, he still worked outside after retirement.... Old

Zhang was leaning against the wall, wiping the sweat from his

Zhang was leaning against the wall, wiping the sweat from his

forehead, at the same time apologetically saying: “Sorry for

forehead, at the same time apologetically saying: “Sorry for

disturbing the morning meeting.” Then he couldn’t help but

disturbing the morning meeting.” Then he couldn’t help but

say: “My goodness, I seem to be back to the time of the Great

say: “My goodness, I seem to be back to the time of the Great

Cultural Revolution.” Saying this, Old Zhang realized that his

Cultural Revolution.” Saying this, Old Zhang realized that his

words had crossed a line, so he hastened to lower his head.

words had crossed a line, so he hastened to lower his head.

I couldn’t help but say: “Old Zhang, you just go and take a rest!”

I couldn’t help but say: “Old Zhang, you just go and take a rest!”

“No need, I can manage. It’s nothing, it’s nothing.”

“No need, I can manage. It’s nothing, it’s nothing.”

Old Zhang’s voice had hardly faded away, when the boss

Old Zhang’s voice had hardly faded away, when the boss

took the lead in applauding: “Good, perseverance means

took the lead in applauding: “Good, perseverance means

victory! Now, Chen Chao, it’s your turn for a slogan!”

victory! Now, Chen Chao, it’s your turn for a slogan!”

“I, I, sorry, I don’t know what to chant....”

48

“I, I, sorry, I don’t know what to chant....”

48

The boss looked solemn: “What do you mean? Do you

The boss looked solemn: “What do you mean? Do you

think the company’s prospects are less than wonderful?”

think the company’s prospects are less than wonderful?”

“No, No, anyway I think they can’t be sold....”

“No, No, anyway I think they can’t be sold....”

“You are escaping! You are taking the lead as a deserter!

“You are escaping! You are taking the lead as a deserter!

I’m very disappointed, why can’t you care about the life and

I’m very disappointed, why can’t you care about the life and

death of the enterprise? I’ve been painstakingly providing for

death of the enterprise? I’ve been painstakingly providing for

you, so don’t you feel ashamed?...” The boss’s voice was so

you, so don’t you feel ashamed?...” The boss’s voice was so

loud that even the French window began to tremble. I was

loud that even the French window began to tremble. I was

biting my lip tight. After sufficient scolding, the boss then

biting my lip tight. After sufficient scolding, the boss then

spoke: “Good, then I pardon you this time. Just now I heard

spoke: “Good, then I pardon you this time. Just now I heard

all your slogans, and I think all of them are very powerful, so

all your slogans, and I think all of them are very powerful, so

I hope you can create miracles in the last month, come!

I hope you can create miracles in the last month, come!

Everyone chant together!”

Everyone chant together!”

No telling which of the boss’s nerves was the problem, he

No telling which of the boss’s nerves was the problem, he

made everyone chant the slogans again and again. I had to

made everyone chant the slogans again and again. I had to

follow along and chant, feeling particularly disgusted.

follow along and chant, feeling particularly disgusted.

Suddenly, the boss gave a loud shout: “Chen Chao, fall out,

Suddenly, the boss gave a loud shout: “Chen Chao, fall out,

you only opened your mouth without making any noise, right?

you only opened your mouth without making any noise, right?

You walk into the middle and chant a few times.”

You walk into the middle and chant a few times.”

I didn’t chant, because I found it too absurd. Abruptly,

I didn’t chant, because I found it too absurd. Abruptly,

the boss stamped with thundering rage, scolding loudly: “I

the boss stamped with thundering rage, scolding loudly: “I

require you to chant the slogans, didn’t you hear me?!”

require you to chant the slogans, didn’t you hear me?!”

“I don’t want to chant, today I’m in a bad mood.” 49

“I don’t want to chant, today I’m in a bad mood.” 49

Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 13, Nov., 2018

Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 13, Nov., 2018

“Humph! A rebel, you! Now you have two choices, one

“Humph! A rebel, you! Now you have two choices, one

is scram on out of here, two is give me a loud voice chanting

is scram on out of here, two is give me a loud voice chanting

the slogans.” The boss’s anger made his face turn purple.

the slogans.” The boss’s anger made his face turn purple.

After the morning meeting had finished, about two hours

After the morning meeting had finished, about two hours

later, the office director and the financial executive came in.

later, the office director and the financial executive came in.

Each was holding a pile of papers in his hands. Old Zhang in

Each was holding a pile of papers in his hands. Old Zhang in

embarrassment said: “Young Chen, sorry, this month you

embarrassment said: “Young Chen, sorry, this month you

have sixteen hundred yuan left....”

have sixteen hundred yuan left....”

“Why?!”

“Why?!”

“Your job has been terminated.” The office director

“Your job has been terminated.” The office director

assisted Old Zhang by replying to me.

assisted Old Zhang by replying to me.

I had nothing to say. I took the sixteen hundred yuan.

I had nothing to say. I took the sixteen hundred yuan.

Then, I walked into the office of the boss, in one strong leap

Then, I walked into the office of the boss, in one strong leap

rushing in and lifting up my arm to beat him. I really fuckin’

rushing in and lifting up my arm to beat him. I really fuckin’

wanted to kill him, to butcher that bitch-fuck! Having

wanted to kill him, to butcher that bitch-fuck! Having

chopped him to pieces, I’d carry those bitch-fucked pieces on

chopped him to pieces, I’d carry those bitch-fucked pieces on

my shoulder, climb to the top of the building, and throw down

my shoulder, climb to the top of the building, and throw down

piece after piece, flinging them far away.... However, I was

piece after piece, flinging them far away.... However, I was

softhearted, and couldn’t resist the soft words: “Chen, Brother

softhearted, and couldn’t resist the soft words: “Chen, Brother

Chen, forgive me, me! You just say what you want, and I’ll

Chen, forgive me, me! You just say what you want, and I’ll

give it all to you! In Beijing, I have three apartments, two

give it all to you! In Beijing, I have three apartments, two

sports cars, and this company that makes me unable to sleep

sports cars, and this company that makes me unable to sleep

sound! If I died, actually all troubles would end anyway....”

sound! If I died, actually all troubles would end anyway....”

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I started to snatch the boss’s hair, his hair a bit short, I

I started to snatch the boss’s hair, his hair a bit short, I

then grabbed his ear, and then I beat him in his crooked face a

then grabbed his ear, and then I beat him in his crooked face a

few times, at this moment, of my many years of struggle in

few times, at this moment, of my many years of struggle in

Beijing, there remained only two clenched fists! I said to him:

Beijing, there remained only two clenched fists! I said to him:

“Son of a bitch, remember, don’t live like a sick person!

“Son of a bitch, remember, don’t live like a sick person!

People’s lives are not that sort of thing! Don’t force people

People’s lives are not that sort of thing! Don’t force people

onto a dead end road!”

onto a dead end road!”

The boss was wiping his blood with his sleeves and at the

The boss was wiping his blood with his sleeves and at the

same time pleading with me, wanting to take back what he

same time pleading with me, wanting to take back what he

had said about firing me. But I had long ago walked out. The

had said about firing me. But I had long ago walked out. The

wind, a resounding boohoo wind, was like a knife sharpener.

wind, a resounding boohoo wind, was like a knife sharpener.

Mixed with sand. My mind was a void of white, my legs

Mixed with sand. My mind was a void of white, my legs

heavy as if filled with lead. I was walking against the wind,

heavy as if filled with lead. I was walking against the wind,

eyes blurred with tears. But I had no regrets. On the Third

eyes blurred with tears. But I had no regrets. On the Third

Ring Road, as if it were yesterday, cars came, cars went, rust-

Ring Road, as if it were yesterday, cars came, cars went, rust-

colored trees swayed in the wind, while I, trembling, for the

colored trees swayed in the wind, while I, trembling, for the

first time experienced the bone-piercing cold. Beijing, long

first time experienced the bone-piercing cold. Beijing, long

ago conquered by the bitter cold.

ago conquered by the bitter cold.

I suddenly thought of Ma Qi, and thought of hibernation.

I suddenly thought of Ma Qi, and thought of hibernation.

I was leaning against the bus stop signboard, leaning for a

I was leaning against the bus stop signboard, leaning for a

while when, at this moment, a bus headed for Liuliqiao came

while when, at this moment, a bus headed for Liuliqiao came

along. There were people, showing up like panicky mice,

along. There were people, showing up like panicky mice,

everyone hugging his own shoulders, rushing. I also followed,

everyone hugging his own shoulders, rushing. I also followed,

rushing forward. I was squeezed into the middle of the crowd,

rushing forward. I was squeezed into the middle of the crowd,

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blank faces, like penguins, gazing at each other vacantly, their

blank faces, like penguins, gazing at each other vacantly, their

clothes emitting wafts of a strange unpleasant odor, like a

clothes emitting wafts of a strange unpleasant odor, like a

detoxifying tablet of cow-bezoar. This strange odor felt warm

detoxifying tablet of cow-bezoar. This strange odor felt warm

and toasty, making people drowsy. A bus of people, only the

and toasty, making people drowsy. A bus of people, only the

driver and ticket seller were alive, we were leaning tight

driver and ticket seller were alive, we were leaning tight

against each other, but not speaking, like a crowd of primitive

against each other, but not speaking, like a crowd of primitive

humans in a hibernation cave, hugging together, pile upon

humans in a hibernation cave, hugging together, pile upon

pile. Thinking this, I was nearly at the point of crying out,

pile. Thinking this, I was nearly at the point of crying out,

How I also wish to hibernate!...

How I also wish to hibernate!...

After getting off the bus, I hurriedly walked to my residence.

After getting off the bus, I hurriedly walked to my residence.

I thought, Ma Qi at that moment must be on the balcony

I thought, Ma Qi at that moment must be on the balcony

like a primitive man entering into a deep state of paralysis: he

like a primitive man entering into a deep state of paralysis: he

is curling up his body, not eating, motionless, hardly

is curling up his body, not eating, motionless, hardly

breathing, heartbeat also strangely slow, only ten to twenty

breathing, heartbeat also strangely slow, only ten to twenty

beats per minute. Once there was someone experimenting on

beats per minute. Once there was someone experimenting on

a bee and finding that, when the temperature is at 7º to 9º C,

a bee and finding that, when the temperature is at 7º to 9º C,

the bee’s wings and the feet would stop moving, but when it

the bee’s wings and the feet would stop moving, but when it

was touched softly, its wings and feet would still be able to

was touched softly, its wings and feet would still be able to

quiver slightly; when the temperature fell to 4º to 6º C, then if

quiver slightly; when the temperature fell to 4º to 6º C, then if

it were touched there wouldn’t be the slightest response; what

it were touched there wouldn’t be the slightest response; what

if the temperature fell to 0.5º C? The bee would enter into

if the temperature fell to 0.5º C? The bee would enter into

sleep mode, forgetting both the world and himself, sleeping

sleep mode, forgetting both the world and himself, sleeping

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comfortably through winter. Will Ma Qi really enter into

comfortably through winter. Will Ma Qi really enter into

hibernation, forgetting both the world and himself?

hibernation, forgetting both the world and himself?

My hand stopped in the air. I didn’t want to disturb Ma

My hand stopped in the air. I didn’t want to disturb Ma

Qi. I softly opened the door and went in, the room was dark

Qi. I softly opened the door and went in, the room was dark

inside, the window was wide open, and obviously, there was

inside, the window was wide open, and obviously, there was

no Ma Qi sitting that way, like usual, in a trance in front of

no Ma Qi sitting that way, like usual, in a trance in front of

the computer. At that moment, I didn’t know in my heart

the computer. At that moment, I didn’t know in my heart

whether to panic or be happy, and I thought he must be lying

whether to panic or be happy, and I thought he must be lying

on the balcony, his head inside, his feet outside, his body

on the balcony, his head inside, his feet outside, his body

covered with thick silt. You call him and he won’t respond,

covered with thick silt. You call him and he won’t respond,

you beat him and he won’t notice it, he is creating his own

you beat him and he won’t notice it, he is creating his own

beautiful dream, not to be disturbed by anything! But when I

beautiful dream, not to be disturbed by anything! But when I

walked with light steps and soft hand movement onto the

walked with light steps and soft hand movement onto the

balcony to look, there was no Ma Qi. Wasn’t he hibernating?

balcony to look, there was no Ma Qi. Wasn’t he hibernating?

Damn guy! Then I searched the room, a room just more than

Damn guy! Then I searched the room, a room just more than

thirty square meters. I searched through the kitchen, the

thirty square meters. I searched through the kitchen, the

bedroom, the washroom, also the wardrobe and the space

bedroom, the washroom, also the wardrobe and the space

beneath the bed, but saw no Ma Qi. Ma Qi had disappeared.

beneath the bed, but saw no Ma Qi. Ma Qi had disappeared.

Had he gone out to buy something? Maybe he’d found a

Had he gone out to buy something? Maybe he’d found a

job. He’d run away outside to hibernate alone. If it were that,

job. He’d run away outside to hibernate alone. If it were that,

it’d be no use for me to wait for him, he’d abandoned me.

it’d be no use for me to wait for him, he’d abandoned me.

Thinking about this, I flipped through the stuff Ma Qi had left

Thinking about this, I flipped through the stuff Ma Qi had left

on the table. This stuff included his university diploma, his

on the table. This stuff included his university diploma, his

identification card, his résumé, his IOUs, and also the

identification card, his résumé, his IOUs, and also the

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information about suicide and hibernation he had copied on

information about suicide and hibernation he had copied on

paper. I saw he had already graduated from the university

paper. I saw he had already graduated from the university

three years earlier, and had done the following jobs: home

three years earlier, and had done the following jobs: home

tutor, insurance salesman, direct salesman of Amway, intern

tutor, insurance salesman, direct salesman of Amway, intern

secretary, employee in an agency for second-hand housing,

secretary, employee in an agency for second-hand housing,

demonstrator of medical equipment, supermarket cashier,

demonstrator of medical equipment, supermarket cashier,

part-time English translator, market surveyor, and so on. His

part-time English translator, market surveyor, and so on. His

IOUs also seemed to be not a few. I didn’t count, but there

IOUs also seemed to be not a few. I didn’t count, but there

was a pile anyway, the greater part of them concerning his

was a pile anyway, the greater part of them concerning his

loans for university study.

loans for university study.

I flipped through pages and pages, on the back of one IOU was written these words:

I flipped through pages and pages, on the back of one IOU was written these words:

I lack strength to bear these loans, I can’t find a job. I

I lack strength to bear these loans, I can’t find a job. I

can’t stay, I can’t return, I don’t want to die, also don’t

can’t stay, I can’t return, I don’t want to die, also don’t

want to live.

want to live.

Then I flipped through other stuff of his, much of it

Then I flipped through other stuff of his, much of it

written in a scrawl:

written in a scrawl:

My mood is down again, and I’m again finding excuses

My mood is down again, and I’m again finding excuses

for myself!!!

for myself!!!

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Actually I also don’t know why I came, career, future,

Actually I also don’t know why I came, career, future,

human interaction, dreams, love, they totally don’t

human interaction, dreams, love, they totally don’t

belong to me, and I also don’t deserve to possess them.

belong to me, and I also don’t deserve to possess them.

I’ve already lost my ability to work. The feeling of

I’ve already lost my ability to work. The feeling of

freeloading meals and waiting for death unexpectedly

freeloading meals and waiting for death unexpectedly

makes me hearty and unreserved. I’ve been thoroughly

makes me hearty and unreserved. I’ve been thoroughly

liberated!!!

liberated!!!

I have to die, but not now, I still have to plan. To die

I have to die, but not now, I still have to plan. To die

silently. Maybe a bit of reason inside my mind is telling

silently. Maybe a bit of reason inside my mind is telling

me I must try to seek all help to be able to cross over,

me I must try to seek all help to be able to cross over,

honor-bound to not turn back in departing this world.

honor-bound to not turn back in departing this world.

“Will the person unafraid of death be afraid of being

“Will the person unafraid of death be afraid of being

alive?” “Do you feel your future is full of darkness?”

alive?” “Do you feel your future is full of darkness?”

“Do you have reduced self-esteem?” If you suffer from

“Do you have reduced self-esteem?” If you suffer from

depression, just tell yourself, My emotion has caught a

depression, just tell yourself, My emotion has caught a

cold, my emotion has caught a fever, very painful now,

cold, my emotion has caught a fever, very painful now,

but it’ll be fine if I take some medicine.

but it’ll be fine if I take some medicine.

I approved of the medicine the doctor prescribed,

I approved of the medicine the doctor prescribed,

Venlafaxine and Amitriptyline, over three hundred yuan,

Venlafaxine and Amitriptyline, over three hundred yuan,

to be taken for a month, I couldn’t afford it.

to be taken for a month, I couldn’t afford it.

....

....

I kept flipping through pages and pages, the time quite

I kept flipping through pages and pages, the time quite

soon would be eleven o’clock in the evening, I gave Tile and

soon would be eleven o’clock in the evening, I gave Tile and

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Hu Xiong a phone call, and they both said Ma Qi hadn’t gone

Hu Xiong a phone call, and they both said Ma Qi hadn’t gone

over there. In addition they said Ma Qi sooner or later would

over there. In addition they said Ma Qi sooner or later would

cause problems, and asked me not to sympathize with him. I

cause problems, and asked me not to sympathize with him. I

thought, Ma Qi either will not come back, or has found a new

thought, Ma Qi either will not come back, or has found a new

dwelling, maybe has really hibernated. I also didn’t know

dwelling, maybe has really hibernated. I also didn’t know

whether to sympathize with him. I was concerned about him,

whether to sympathize with him. I was concerned about him,

of course, because of Yong Liang. Leisurely, I went to bed.

of course, because of Yong Liang. Leisurely, I went to bed.

After I went to bed, I couldn’t help but think of Ma Qi,

After I went to bed, I couldn’t help but think of Ma Qi,

and I also didn’t know why that night I so much wanted to

and I also didn’t know why that night I so much wanted to

have a heart-to-heart talk with Ma Qi. I seemed once again to

have a heart-to-heart talk with Ma Qi. I seemed once again to

hear Ma Qi asking me about something like accompanying

hear Ma Qi asking me about something like accompanying

him to the outskirts to dig a cave for hibernation. Compared

him to the outskirts to dig a cave for hibernation. Compared

with Tile and Hu Xiong, Ma Qi seemed more deserving of my

with Tile and Hu Xiong, Ma Qi seemed more deserving of my

appreciation. Lying on the bed, I gradually became sleepy, but

appreciation. Lying on the bed, I gradually became sleepy, but

at that moment, in my mind there suddenly appears that scene

at that moment, in my mind there suddenly appears that scene

at the beginning of this text (what a nearly real illusory

at the beginning of this text (what a nearly real illusory

image): At that time, autumn had just arrived, and me and Ma

image): At that time, autumn had just arrived, and me and Ma

Qi were taking the bus to the land on the outskirts of Beijing....

Qi were taking the bus to the land on the outskirts of Beijing....

We are holding shovels, sweat falling like raindrops. The cave,

We are holding shovels, sweat falling like raindrops. The cave,

quite quickly we dig it out good, Ma Qi jumps in, Ma Qi says:

quite quickly we dig it out good, Ma Qi jumps in, Ma Qi says:

“Brother Chen, I’ve lain down, start to bury me.”

“Brother Chen, I’ve lain down, start to bury me.”

“Let me dig it a bit deeper! Ma Qi!”

“Let me dig it a bit deeper! Ma Qi!”

“No need, this is deep enough.”

“No need, this is deep enough.”

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“Ma Qi, if you really died, what’s to be done?”

“Ma Qi, if you really died, what’s to be done?”

“It doesn’t matter, anyway I don’t even want to live.”

“It doesn’t matter, anyway I don’t even want to live.”

I don’t know why what Ma Qi said makes me think a lot,

I don’t know why what Ma Qi said makes me think a lot,

I touch my eyes, my eyes are wet. Ma Qi again is urging me:

I touch my eyes, my eyes are wet. Ma Qi again is urging me:

“Brother Chen, hurry up, I’m ready.”

“Brother Chen, hurry up, I’m ready.”

At some point, I feel a sense of suffocation in my chest. I

At some point, I feel a sense of suffocation in my chest. I

say: “Well... all right!”

say: “Well... all right!”

Saying this, I lift up the shovel, I am nearly bawling as I

Saying this, I lift up the shovel, I am nearly bawling as I

bury Ma Qi, bury beneath the heavy earth, heavy like a dream!

bury Ma Qi, bury beneath the heavy earth, heavy like a dream!

With sunny spring’s third lunar month, warbles flying and

With sunny spring’s third lunar month, warbles flying and

grass growing, he will wake up, brimming with life!

grass growing, he will wake up, brimming with life!

... Ma Qi.

... Ma Qi.

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Death, Illusion, and Reality in Chen Jiyi's

Death, Illusion, and Reality in Chen Jiyi's

“In Company With a Depression Sufferer”

“In Company With a Depression Sufferer”

by Timothy Huson

by Timothy Huson

Death (or allusion to it) makes men precious and pathetic.

Death (or allusion to it) makes men precious and pathetic.

They are moving due to their phantasmic condition; each

They are moving due to their phantasmic condition; each

act they execute may be their last; there is no face that is

act they execute may be their last; there is no face that is

not about to blur, like the face of a dream. Everything,

not about to blur, like the face of a dream. Everything,

among mortals, has the value of something irrecoverable

among mortals, has the value of something irrecoverable

and risky. 3

and risky. 3 – Jorge Luis Borges, “El inmortal”

– Jorge Luis Borges, “El inmortal”

Good literature often centers on tantalizing ambiguity. When

Good literature often centers on tantalizing ambiguity. When

things don't quite work in a comfortable way, one is left

things don't quite work in a comfortable way, one is left

hanging, unable to integrate, and life goes on, but the

hanging, unable to integrate, and life goes on, but the

narrative does not leave – it becomes one's own. For me,

narrative does not leave – it becomes one's own. For me,

Borges' “Man on Pink Corner” is like that. The narrator,

Borges' “Man on Pink Corner” is like that. The narrator,

never outright saying that it is he himself that killed Francisco

never outright saying that it is he himself that killed Francisco

3

3

La muerte (o su alusión) hace preciosos y patéticos a los hombres. Éstos conmueven por su condición de fantasmas; cada acto que ejecutan puede ser último; no hay rostro que no esté por desdibujarse como el rostro de un sueño. Todo, entre los mortales, tiene el valor de lo irrecuperable y de lo azaroso.

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La muerte (o su alusión) hace preciosos y patéticos a los hombres. Éstos conmueven por su condición de fantasmas; cada acto que ejecutan puede ser último; no hay rostro que no esté por desdibujarse como el rostro de un sueño. Todo, entre los mortales, tiene el valor de lo irrecuperable y de lo azaroso.

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Real, the Yardmaster, nonetheless offers hints, though he also

Real, the Yardmaster, nonetheless offers hints, though he also

presents evidence to the contrary, that he is cowardly and

presents evidence to the contrary, that he is cowardly and

incapable of such a deed. But as an embedded narrator

incapable of such a deed. But as an embedded narrator

addressing a present audience (like Marlow in Heart of

addressing a present audience (like Marlow in Heart of

Darkness), his final words make it all too conspicuous, taking

Darkness), his final words make it all too conspicuous, taking

out the knife, perhaps bragging: “not the slightest trace of

out the knife, perhaps bragging: “not the slightest trace of

blood on it.” Truthful, boasting, wishful thinking, self-

blood on it.” Truthful, boasting, wishful thinking, self-

deception – we think it out on all these levels, and then at a

deception – we think it out on all these levels, and then at a

yet deeper level. Withing the fictional reality, when all those

yet deeper level. Withing the fictional reality, when all those

involved have died, the story as imagination, with all of its

involved have died, the story as imagination, with all of its

possibilities is the only reality. There is no external fact to the

possibilities is the only reality. There is no external fact to the

matter. We forever have a nameless narrator entangled in the

matter. We forever have a nameless narrator entangled in the

various interpretive threads running through his story. Once

various interpretive threads running through his story. Once

that reality is in the past and the evidence itself has dissipated,

that reality is in the past and the evidence itself has dissipated,

fiction is no more illusory than that past reality. It is another

fiction is no more illusory than that past reality. It is another

way in which life may be but a dream.

way in which life may be but a dream.

Chen Jiyi's “In Company With a Depression Sufferer” has as

Chen Jiyi's “In Company With a Depression Sufferer” has as

its backdrop and social theme the inhumanity of the modern

its backdrop and social theme the inhumanity of the modern

Asian metropolis of Beijing where four internet friends from

Asian metropolis of Beijing where four internet friends from

the countryside have converged to take their shot at success.

the countryside have converged to take their shot at success.

The story opens with Chen Chao, the narrator, together with

The story opens with Chen Chao, the narrator, together with

Ma Qi, the young mentally disturbed man he has been caring

Ma Qi, the young mentally disturbed man he has been caring

for, searching on the outskirts of Beijing for a peaceful burial

for, searching on the outskirts of Beijing for a peaceful burial

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place for Ma Qi. This scene is then interrupted as Chen Chao,

place for Ma Qi. This scene is then interrupted as Chen Chao,

reflecting back, narrates the steps that led up to that scene.

reflecting back, narrates the steps that led up to that scene.

We are taken back to when Chen's dying friend, Yong Liang,

We are taken back to when Chen's dying friend, Yong Liang,

entrusts him to look after his younger cousin, Ma Qi, then we

entrusts him to look after his younger cousin, Ma Qi, then we

see Ma Qi's obsessive, depressive, and suicidal stage,

see Ma Qi's obsessive, depressive, and suicidal stage,

followed by his fascination with hibernation as a means to

followed by his fascination with hibernation as a means to

escape the problems of the bustling Chinese metropolis. This

escape the problems of the bustling Chinese metropolis. This

last stage attracts Chen Chao, who is having problems with

last stage attracts Chen Chao, who is having problems with

his military-style boss at work. When Chen Chao is fired

his military-style boss at work. When Chen Chao is fired

from his job and arrives home to find Ma Qi has disappeared,

from his job and arrives home to find Ma Qi has disappeared,

he rummages through Ma Qi's old scattered notes, as if

he rummages through Ma Qi's old scattered notes, as if

remembering his own past.

remembering his own past.

It is at this point that the opening scene to which we were

It is at this point that the opening scene to which we were

making our way is picked up again, and we learn it was not

making our way is picked up again, and we learn it was not

reality, but Chen's imagination, “what a nearly real illusory

reality, but Chen's imagination, “what a nearly real illusory

image.” And within this illusion is a hint that the reality status

image.” And within this illusion is a hint that the reality status

is reversed back again – “I am nearly bawling as I bury Ma Qi,

is reversed back again – “I am nearly bawling as I bury Ma Qi,

bury beneath the heavy earth, heavy like a dream!” A

bury beneath the heavy earth, heavy like a dream!” A

daydream within which things are described as dreamlike

daydream within which things are described as dreamlike

must itself be taken as real, and the fleeting and unique

must itself be taken as real, and the fleeting and unique

moments of reality that led up to it are now the blurry and

moments of reality that led up to it are now the blurry and

escaping moments of a dream that is all the more sad and

escaping moments of a dream that is all the more sad and

precious for being but a dream. This hibernation, were it an

precious for being but a dream. This hibernation, were it an

awakening, an enlightenment, should be bliss. But then do

awakening, an enlightenment, should be bliss. But then do

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Chen Chao's tears suggest a lingering attachment, or a

Chen Chao's tears suggest a lingering attachment, or a

sobering to a new truth, enlightenment itself as a sort of

sobering to a new truth, enlightenment itself as a sort of

illusion?

illusion?

The ambiguity of this story hinges on the hazy reality status

The ambiguity of this story hinges on the hazy reality status

of the narrator's story. There are hints along the way as to

of the narrator's story. There are hints along the way as to

something uncanny in the relation between Chen and Ma Qi.

something uncanny in the relation between Chen and Ma Qi.

And at the end, with the double shift in the reality status of

And at the end, with the double shift in the reality status of

the burial scene, the reader will reflect back again on Ma Qi's

the burial scene, the reader will reflect back again on Ma Qi's

obsessions, first with suicide and then with hibernation,

obsessions, first with suicide and then with hibernation,

where escaping the world is somehow construed, not as death,

where escaping the world is somehow construed, not as death,

but as only a respite, a pause to refresh, maybe a rejuvenation

but as only a respite, a pause to refresh, maybe a rejuvenation

of life.

of life.

Beneath the shifting status of reality, there is an

Beneath the shifting status of reality, there is an

ambiguity regarding life and death. The burial scene is

ambiguity regarding life and death. The burial scene is

supposed to be a hibernation, and hibernation appears with

supposed to be a hibernation, and hibernation appears with

the imagery of enlightenment – “Will Ma Qi really enter into

the imagery of enlightenment – “Will Ma Qi really enter into

hibernation, forgetting both the world and himself?” And,

hibernation, forgetting both the world and himself?” And,

after all, it ostensibly only occurs in Chen's mind. It is as

after all, it ostensibly only occurs in Chen's mind. It is as

though, at the moment of enlightenment, death is seen as a

though, at the moment of enlightenment, death is seen as a

sort of hibernation, as a respite, or perhaps a rejuvenation, not

sort of hibernation, as a respite, or perhaps a rejuvenation, not

a break with life, but a unity with life. But why the tears?

a break with life, but a unity with life. But why the tears?

Why sadness? If this is truly enlightenment, and life and

Why sadness? If this is truly enlightenment, and life and

death are but a dream, illusory, then there is no need to fear

death are but a dream, illusory, then there is no need to fear

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death or regret life. But if the burial scene is indeed a moment

death or regret life. But if the burial scene is indeed a moment

of recognition, and in that sense an enlightenment, then it

of recognition, and in that sense an enlightenment, then it

would be the recognition of the illusoriness, the self-

would be the recognition of the illusoriness, the self-

deception, in an enlightenment that would rise above the

deception, in an enlightenment that would rise above the

distinction between life and death and shed no tears over them.

distinction between life and death and shed no tears over them.

Suppose death an illusion, and life a dream, but might life not

Suppose death an illusion, and life a dream, but might life not

be more fleeting and risky as a dream than as reality, and all

be more fleeting and risky as a dream than as reality, and all

the sadder? I'm reminded of a poem by Issa Kobayashi, as

the sadder? I'm reminded of a poem by Issa Kobayashi, as

translated by Donald Keene:

translated by Donald Keene:

The world of dew

The world of dew

Is a world of dew, and yet

Is a world of dew, and yet

And yet...

And yet...

But perhaps clinging to this life is an illusory desire, a

But perhaps clinging to this life is an illusory desire, a

dreamy attempt to give it a meaning it doesn't have, and so,

dreamy attempt to give it a meaning it doesn't have, and so,

like afterlife, also self-deception. What is left but to hover

like afterlife, also self-deception. What is left but to hover

within this ambiguity, without resolve, like Ma Qi endlessly

within this ambiguity, without resolve, like Ma Qi endlessly

tarrying before the task that he is never able to execute? Ma

tarrying before the task that he is never able to execute? Ma

Qi marks off the days of his possible suicide until the whole

Qi marks off the days of his possible suicide until the whole

calendar is designated as possibility, without actuality, while

calendar is designated as possibility, without actuality, while

the tantalizing ambiguity becomes the plot of the reader

the tantalizing ambiguity becomes the plot of the reader

himself as his days, one by one, hover between reality and

himself as his days, one by one, hover between reality and

fantasy, and the question of being or not being, the

fantasy, and the question of being or not being, the

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obsessional delay that haunted Shakespeare's hero, takes on

obsessional delay that haunted Shakespeare's hero, takes on

renewed importance.

renewed importance.

Chen's tears reveal the same struggle, as he buries Ma Qi,

Chen's tears reveal the same struggle, as he buries Ma Qi,

the sorrowful burial as the act of an enlightenment that should

the sorrowful burial as the act of an enlightenment that should

have no sorrow. The closing line, the joyful awakening that

have no sorrow. The closing line, the joyful awakening that

may be the sadness of a mere wish, does not resolve the

may be the sadness of a mere wish, does not resolve the

ambiguity:“With sunny spring’s third lunar month, warbles

ambiguity:“With sunny spring’s third lunar month, warbles

flying and grass growing, he will wake up, brimming with

flying and grass growing, he will wake up, brimming with

life! ... Ma Qi.”

life! ... Ma Qi.”

Zhuangzi, Freud, and death

Zhuangzi, Freud, and death

How do I know love of life is not a delusion? How do I

How do I know love of life is not a delusion? How do I

know hatred of death is not a frail one mourning and not

know hatred of death is not a frail one mourning and not

recognizing the return home?

4

recognizing the return home? 4

– Zhuangzi

– Zhuangzi

The goal of all life is death, and going back: the lifeless was here earlier than life.

The goal of all life is death, and going back: the lifeless

5

was here earlier than life. 5

– Sigmund Freud, Jenseits des Lustprinzips

– Sigmund Freud, Jenseits des Lustprinzips

4

4

5

5

予惡乎知說生之非惑邪!予惡乎知惡死之非弱喪而不知歸者邪! Das Ziel alles Lebens ist der Tod, und zurückgreifend: Das Leblose war früher da als das Lebende.

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予惡乎知說生之非惑邪!予惡乎知惡死之非弱喪而不知歸者邪! Das Ziel alles Lebens ist der Tod, und zurückgreifend: Das Leblose war früher da als das Lebende.

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Chen Chao seems to be standing at the vague interface

Chen Chao seems to be standing at the vague interface

between two different approaches to death, with similar

between two different approaches to death, with similar

starting points, and I would like to portray this scene by

starting points, and I would like to portray this scene by

reference to Zhuangzi and Freud. They share in seeing life

reference to Zhuangzi and Freud. They share in seeing life

itself as in some sense illusory; and rejecting the afterlife,

itself as in some sense illusory; and rejecting the afterlife,

they take death as final. But they differ in their attitudes

they take death as final. But they differ in their attitudes

towards death.

towards death.

As regards life, Sigmund Freud's thought, taken broadly,

As regards life, Sigmund Freud's thought, taken broadly,

maps onto the Taoist world of Zhuangzi, life is a sort of

maps onto the Taoist world of Zhuangzi, life is a sort of

illusion while what is real beneath the illusion, the

illusion while what is real beneath the illusion, the

subconscious, is the truth we can perceive only after analysis

subconscious, is the truth we can perceive only after analysis

or enlightenment. This final step, this learning and awakening,

or enlightenment. This final step, this learning and awakening,

releases us at least from one unnecessary part of our suffering,

releases us at least from one unnecessary part of our suffering,

life's inner turmoil and pain, our neurosis and mental anguish,

life's inner turmoil and pain, our neurosis and mental anguish,

that result from clinging to the illusion. In both cases, the line

that result from clinging to the illusion. In both cases, the line

often

often

expressed

about

psychoanalysis

holds,

that

expressed

about

psychoanalysis

holds,

that

consciousness is but a surface ripple on a vast ocean of the

consciousness is but a surface ripple on a vast ocean of the

unconscious – for Zhuangzi, the unspeakable Tao.

unconscious – for Zhuangzi, the unspeakable Tao.

But as regards death, the pictures sharply contrast and

But as regards death, the pictures sharply contrast and

reveal different reasons for what we could call our discontent

reveal different reasons for what we could call our discontent

in culture. 6 For Zhaungzi, culture as a whole is illusion, and

in culture. 6 For Zhaungzi, culture as a whole is illusion, and

6

6

Not only is the very title of one of Freud's most important works on culture, Das Unbehagen in der Kultur, falsely translated in the standard English edition as Civilization and Its Discontents, but Kultur is rendered as civilization throughout the standard translation of Freud's

Not only is the very title of one of Freud's most important works on culture, Das Unbehagen in der Kultur, falsely translated in the standard English edition as Civilization and Its Discontents, but Kultur is rendered as civilization throughout the standard translation of Freud's

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our happiness depends on seeing that, whereas for Freud, an

our happiness depends on seeing that, whereas for Freud, an

essential part of culture is real as being a means to happiness,

essential part of culture is real as being a means to happiness,

while another part of culture, religion and an excess of its

while another part of culture, religion and an excess of its

morality, is indeed illusion, as leading to suffering. Inevitable

morality, is indeed illusion, as leading to suffering. Inevitable

and inescapable as death is, it takes on a different meaning for

and inescapable as death is, it takes on a different meaning for

each. For Zhuangzi, our fear of death is due to our lack of

each. For Zhuangzi, our fear of death is due to our lack of

enlightenment, we are duped by the illusion – seen in the

enlightenment, we are duped by the illusion – seen in the

enlightened mind, death and life are simply two components

enlightened mind, death and life are simply two components

of one reality, like the yin and yang, neither of them should be

of one reality, like the yin and yang, neither of them should be

preferred or feared. Freud, however, put more stock in finite

preferred or feared. Freud, however, put more stock in finite

reality – our acceptance of death as real is part of a symbolic

reality – our acceptance of death as real is part of a symbolic

social order that survives the test of true happiness by means

social order that survives the test of true happiness by means

of the combination pleasure-reality principle (the pleasure

of the combination pleasure-reality principle (the pleasure

principle as modified by the reality principle).

principle as modified by the reality principle).

Accepting our lot in the realm of the finite is also key to

Accepting our lot in the realm of the finite is also key to

our dignity as the only true mortals – sadly aware of our death,

our dignity as the only true mortals – sadly aware of our death,

we are higher than the gods, who never die, and the animals

we are higher than the gods, who never die, and the animals

and primitives, who neither believe in death nor fear it. While

and primitives, who neither believe in death nor fear it. While

our unconscious minds share with animals and primitives in

our unconscious minds share with animals and primitives in

neither knowing nor fearing death (the unconscious, as Freud

neither knowing nor fearing death (the unconscious, as Freud

says, is immortal), our dignity and key to our happiness lies in

says, is immortal), our dignity and key to our happiness lies in

major works. It seems obvious why Freud would prefer the Kultur over Zivilisation, since civilization, tending to indicate external features, is ultimately grounded on what is inner and spiritual, what is more associated with culture.

major works. It seems obvious why Freud would prefer the Kultur over Zivilisation, since civilization, tending to indicate external features, is ultimately grounded on what is inner and spiritual, what is more associated with culture.

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the sliver of reality that is aware of death, the fleeting veneer

the sliver of reality that is aware of death, the fleeting veneer

of reality called consciousness and the happiness, however

of reality called consciousness and the happiness, however

meager, it is capable of. Perhaps, in respect to being

meager, it is capable of. Perhaps, in respect to being

irrecoverable and risky, unique and fragile, this reality is

irrecoverable and risky, unique and fragile, this reality is

more dream than reality. In some sense, Freud concedes that,

more dream than reality. In some sense, Freud concedes that,

but as our only possibility of happiness, it has a value above

but as our only possibility of happiness, it has a value above

illusion. Freud, too, asks us to ponder the question of being.

illusion. Freud, too, asks us to ponder the question of being.

For Freud, the fear of death is not real in the sense of

For Freud, the fear of death is not real in the sense of

being innate or instinctual, but rather it is a secondary

being innate or instinctual, but rather it is a secondary

construction, based on our unique psychological development

construction, based on our unique psychological development

and derived from fear of losing the love of the father or the

and derived from fear of losing the love of the father or the

political authority, law, and morality that take the place of the

political authority, law, and morality that take the place of the

father. As psychologically based, this fear is symbolic, taking

father. As psychologically based, this fear is symbolic, taking

the form of conscience. Our fear of biological death is really

the form of conscience. Our fear of biological death is really

an extension of this symbolic death, of rejection by society

an extension of this symbolic death, of rejection by society

and by our own inner moral authority, the superego. Animals

and by our own inner moral authority, the superego. Animals

and primitive people do not have this fear because they do not

and primitive people do not have this fear because they do not

have a superego. For Freud, our fear of death shares with

have a superego. For Freud, our fear of death shares with

religion its connection to a stage of mental development

religion its connection to a stage of mental development

characterized by conscience and the superego, an internalized

characterized by conscience and the superego, an internalized

moral authority. Religion develops this in that God is the

moral authority. Religion develops this in that God is the

externalized role of the father as protector. Religion's notion

externalized role of the father as protector. Religion's notion

of an afterlife extends the father's protective power beyond

of an afterlife extends the father's protective power beyond

the social order and into the future after death.

the social order and into the future after death.

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We are faced with two illusions regarding death. The

We are faced with two illusions regarding death. The

enlightenment of Zhuangzi that denies death and thereby

enlightenment of Zhuangzi that denies death and thereby

escapes the fear of death would, for Freud, be escaping from

escapes the fear of death would, for Freud, be escaping from

the reality principle – in escaping the fear of death it also

the reality principle – in escaping the fear of death it also

avoids the reality of human happiness and a responsibility to

avoids the reality of human happiness and a responsibility to

that reality. On the other hand, the happiness Freud speaks of

that reality. On the other hand, the happiness Freud speaks of

is understood relative to a social and psychological reality

is understood relative to a social and psychological reality

that is itself secondary and symbolic, in some sense illusory.

that is itself secondary and symbolic, in some sense illusory.

Taking our fear of death as real, as important, as valid, also

Taking our fear of death as real, as important, as valid, also

brings a sense of reality to that symbolic order that it does not

brings a sense of reality to that symbolic order that it does not

have from Zhuangzi's perspective. Is Freud not also clinging

have from Zhuangzi's perspective. Is Freud not also clinging

to an illusion? Freud criticizes the religious paradise as

to an illusion? Freud criticizes the religious paradise as

illusion. But it is on the same continuum as the symbolic

illusion. But it is on the same continuum as the symbolic

order, society, the superego, the part of morality necessary for

order, society, the superego, the part of morality necessary for

happiness. It is only its contribution to happiness that

happiness. It is only its contribution to happiness that

distinguishes our fear of death from the religious afterlife.

distinguishes our fear of death from the religious afterlife.

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Identity

Identity

“Faceless battalions would be ideal groups of soldiers.

“Faceless battalions would be ideal groups of soldiers.

Unflinchingly rushing on to destruction for the sake of

Unflinchingly rushing on to destruction for the sake of

destruction, they would make splendid fighting units.”

destruction, they would make splendid fighting units.”

– Kobo Abe, The Face of Another (trans. E. Dale Saunders)

– Kobo Abe, The Face of Another (trans. E. Dale Saunders)

For Chen Chao, the question of being, to be or not to be, is

For Chen Chao, the question of being, to be or not to be, is

also the question of what one's being is, and that is a question

also the question of what one's being is, and that is a question

of how one sees oneself and who one sees oneself as. Chen's

of how one sees oneself and who one sees oneself as. Chen's

self-conception fluctuates. He initially sees himself in terms

self-conception fluctuates. He initially sees himself in terms

of potential social and economic success, but he ultimately

of potential social and economic success, but he ultimately

resists being part of the company's army of employees. When

resists being part of the company's army of employees. When

Chen longs for hibernation, is this antithesis to the economic

Chen longs for hibernation, is this antithesis to the economic

system, or its complement? When he phanticizes or dreams of

system, or its complement? When he phanticizes or dreams of

burying Ma Qi, has he become one with Ma Qi, or buried the

burying Ma Qi, has he become one with Ma Qi, or buried the

thought? At issue here is personal identity.

thought? At issue here is personal identity.

Identity can mean to be like, or to be numerically one

Identity can mean to be like, or to be numerically one

with. It concerns who one is, what person or group one is,

with. It concerns who one is, what person or group one is,

thinks oneself to be the same as, or likens oneself to. For

thinks oneself to be the same as, or likens oneself to. For

Freud, the chief sense of identity is the model for one's

Freud, the chief sense of identity is the model for one's

character and actions. The father generally serves as the

character and actions. The father generally serves as the

model for the male child, the child wants to be him, to be like

model for the male child, the child wants to be him, to be like

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him. He takes the father as his ego-ideal. The object of love

him. He takes the father as his ego-ideal. The object of love

can also become an identity. In mourning and melancholy,

can also become an identity. In mourning and melancholy,

one may identify with the object of love, and oneself become

one may identify with the object of love, and oneself become

a substitute for the lost object. The harsh self-criticism that

a substitute for the lost object. The harsh self-criticism that

characterizes melancholy is really aimed at the one who has

characterizes melancholy is really aimed at the one who has

gone. In the context of group psychology, individual identity

gone. In the context of group psychology, individual identity

may give way to a group identity with thought and behavior

may give way to a group identity with thought and behavior

conforming to that of the identity group or crowd. Herd

conforming to that of the identity group or crowd. Herd

animals parallel the human. Freud emphasized the role of the

animals parallel the human. Freud emphasized the role of the

leader in his model of the primal horde. Examples are

leader in his model of the primal horde. Examples are

religious congregations, armies, and followers of charismatic

religious congregations, armies, and followers of charismatic

leaders. Freud also speaks of group psychology grounded in

leaders. Freud also speaks of group psychology grounded in

shared belief systems or ideology. Currently powerful

shared belief systems or ideology. Currently powerful

examples might include identity politics, or the corporate

examples might include identity politics, or the corporate

tribalism that bears sway in the economic sphere, cases where

tribalism that bears sway in the economic sphere, cases where

the individual conforms his thoughts and actions to fit those

the individual conforms his thoughts and actions to fit those

of the dogmatic and politically correct group.

of the dogmatic and politically correct group.

Chen Chao's identity goes through stages in a progression.

Chen Chao's identity goes through stages in a progression.

The story does not deal with the traditional components of

The story does not deal with the traditional components of

identity in the standard Freudian picture, family situation and

identity in the standard Freudian picture, family situation and

relation to father and mother, elements also central to a

relation to father and mother, elements also central to a

typical Chinese understanding of personal identity. There is

typical Chinese understanding of personal identity. There is

virtually no mention of love or romance or family, except for

virtually no mention of love or romance or family, except for

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a note in which Ma Qi relinquishes them, that Chen comes

a note in which Ma Qi relinquishes them, that Chen comes

across among Ma Qi's various jottings: “...I also don’t know

across among Ma Qi's various jottings: “...I also don’t know

why I came, career, future, human interaction, dreams, love,

why I came, career, future, human interaction, dreams, love,

they totally don’t belong to me, and I also don’t deserve to

they totally don’t belong to me, and I also don’t deserve to

possess them.”

possess them.”

The place of identity is taken over by the need to find

The place of identity is taken over by the need to find

one's place and success in the new economic order –

one's place and success in the new economic order –

“dreaming of the big bout,” as Chen puts it. This identity

“dreaming of the big bout,” as Chen puts it. This identity

becomes a group identity. The individualism and identity

becomes a group identity. The individualism and identity

grounded in family relations is replaced by the position in the

grounded in family relations is replaced by the position in the

corporate body, role in the economy, and as a substitute for

corporate body, role in the economy, and as a substitute for

the leader that figures in Freud's standard picture of group

the leader that figures in Freud's standard picture of group

identity, there is an identity with the work unit under common

identity, there is an identity with the work unit under common

interest of shared profit, as we see in the required chanting of

interest of shared profit, as we see in the required chanting of

company slogans: “Pledge to fight to the death in selling out

company slogans: “Pledge to fight to the death in selling out

the Golden Books, and resist to the end the decree that bans

the Golden Books, and resist to the end the decree that bans

Golden Books! Comrades, let’s rush into 2008 with excellent

Golden Books! Comrades, let’s rush into 2008 with excellent

sales performance!” “...Don’t be a coward who hinders

sales performance!” “...Don’t be a coward who hinders

company growth!...” The story's initial sense of identity in

company growth!...” The story's initial sense of identity in

terms of economic success – that we can well imagine is

terms of economic success – that we can well imagine is

justified in a traditional way as a means to love and family –

justified in a traditional way as a means to love and family –

gives way to the group identity with the economic unit.

gives way to the group identity with the economic unit.

It has always struck me that economic selfishness,

It has always struck me that economic selfishness,

whether individual or based on identity group selfishness, is

whether individual or based on identity group selfishness, is

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not a genuine individualism, and that true individualism is not

not a genuine individualism, and that true individualism is not

at odds with the community, be it the individualism of a

at odds with the community, be it the individualism of a

Buddhist monk or that depicted in Plato's Republic. Modern

Buddhist monk or that depicted in Plato's Republic. Modern

Western individualism is usually seen as selfish and

Western individualism is usually seen as selfish and

economic based. In the slogan-chanting scene, the mixture of

economic based. In the slogan-chanting scene, the mixture of

socialist rhetoric and group economic selfishness reveals just

socialist rhetoric and group economic selfishness reveals just

how much subordination to economic corporatism is a loss of

how much subordination to economic corporatism is a loss of

true individualism, regardless of whether one is working

true individualism, regardless of whether one is working

alone or with an identity group.

alone or with an identity group.

The next stage of identity, for Chen, is the sense of

The next stage of identity, for Chen, is the sense of

identity with the hibernating masses that Chen Chao senses

identity with the hibernating masses that Chen Chao senses

on his way home after losing his job. At this point the identity

on his way home after losing his job. At this point the identity

of life and death that we find in Zhuangzi is attained in a quite

of life and death that we find in Zhuangzi is attained in a quite

different way; life and death are identical because life in the

different way; life and death are identical because life in the

economic order is already a death of sorts. Chen's perception

economic order is already a death of sorts. Chen's perception

of the workers in the bus as hibernating primitive humans

of the workers in the bus as hibernating primitive humans

perhaps sheds light on the dissolution of personality beneath

perhaps sheds light on the dissolution of personality beneath

the identity roles the workers play in regimented army-style

the identity roles the workers play in regimented army-style

company rituals as members of the work unit.

company rituals as members of the work unit.

There were people, showing up like panicky mice,

There were people, showing up like panicky mice,

everyone hugging his own shoulders, rushing. I also followed,

everyone hugging his own shoulders, rushing. I also followed,

rushing forward. I was squeezed into the middle of the crowd,

rushing forward. I was squeezed into the middle of the crowd,

blank faces, like penguins, gazing at each other vacantly, their

blank faces, like penguins, gazing at each other vacantly, their

clothes emitting wafts of a strange unpleasant odor, like a

clothes emitting wafts of a strange unpleasant odor, like a

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detoxifying tablet of cow-bezoar. This strange odor felt warm

detoxifying tablet of cow-bezoar. This strange odor felt warm

and toasty, making people drowsy. A bus of people, only the

and toasty, making people drowsy. A bus of people, only the

driver and ticket seller were alive, we were leaning tight

driver and ticket seller were alive, we were leaning tight

against each other, but not speaking, like a crowd of primitive

against each other, but not speaking, like a crowd of primitive

humans in a hibernation cave, hugging together, pile upon

humans in a hibernation cave, hugging together, pile upon

pile.

pile. Mice, penguins, primitive humans, pile upon pile – the

Mice, penguins, primitive humans, pile upon pile – the

image is that of a mass or a herd, inert matter, drowsy,

image is that of a mass or a herd, inert matter, drowsy,

lazy, lulled to sleep. This bus full of hibernators is like

lazy, lulled to sleep. This bus full of hibernators is like

the hibernating primitives in the news report Ma Qi

the hibernating primitives in the news report Ma Qi

found, a reversion to a primitive and pre-individual state

found, a reversion to a primitive and pre-individual state

of humanity. Lulled into internal sleep mode by the

of humanity. Lulled into internal sleep mode by the

regimented work role, the internal state becomes

regimented work role, the internal state becomes

manifest externally where the roles are no longer played,

manifest externally where the roles are no longer played,

in the cave, the bus ride home.

in the cave, the bus ride home.

This withdrawal from the role is a retreat from the battle, but

This withdrawal from the role is a retreat from the battle, but

it is not a reclaiming of genuine individualism. Rather it

it is not a reclaiming of genuine individualism. Rather it

reveals that this individualism and personality is gone. It is

reveals that this individualism and personality is gone. It is

also the identity stage of Chen himself: “Thinking this, I was

also the identity stage of Chen himself: “Thinking this, I was

nearly at the point of crying out, How I also wish to

nearly at the point of crying out, How I also wish to

hibernate!...” We can understand the hibernation as a return to

hibernate!...” We can understand the hibernation as a return to

inorganic matter, that is, as Freud's death drive. But this time,

inorganic matter, that is, as Freud's death drive. But this time,

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it occurs already on the underside of life itself, as the

it occurs already on the underside of life itself, as the

underside of group identity under the sway of market

underside of group identity under the sway of market

discourse. For Freud, the primitive mind doesn't know death,

discourse. For Freud, the primitive mind doesn't know death,

and hence doesn't know life. Zhuangzi's identity of life and

and hence doesn't know life. Zhuangzi's identity of life and

death has become realized within life itself, in the economic

death has become realized within life itself, in the economic

metropolis.

metropolis.

The hibernating masses lose their individuality in the

The hibernating masses lose their individuality in the

nameless mass behind the roles played in identity politics or

nameless mass behind the roles played in identity politics or

in the company order. The bus scene can be further

in the company order. The bus scene can be further

illuminated by considering Teshigahara's 1966 film The Face

illuminated by considering Teshigahara's 1966 film The Face

of Another, based on Kobo Abe's novel of the same title. The

of Another, based on Kobo Abe's novel of the same title. The

hero, whose face has been scarred in an accident at work, has

hero, whose face has been scarred in an accident at work, has

been outfitted with a prosthetic face designed by an

been outfitted with a prosthetic face designed by an

experimental psychiatrist. Ostensibly for cosmetic purposes,

experimental psychiatrist. Ostensibly for cosmetic purposes,

the mask allows the hero to hide his true self behind a false

the mask allows the hero to hide his true self behind a false

image, a false self, that he presents to the world. As the film

image, a false self, that he presents to the world. As the film

suggests, however, this mask only makes explicit what is

suggests, however, this mask only makes explicit what is

already the human condition in various ways, through social

already the human condition in various ways, through social

role-playing, makeup, and so forth.

role-playing, makeup, and so forth.

At one point, as the hero and the psychiatrist who

At one point, as the hero and the psychiatrist who

designed his mask are in the city discussing the effects of the

designed his mask are in the city discussing the effects of the

mask, we see masses of people emerging from the subway,

mask, we see masses of people emerging from the subway,

blank and ghastly, featureless faces, no eyes, noses, or mouths

blank and ghastly, featureless faces, no eyes, noses, or mouths

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– not the individualized masks that constitute our social roles.

– not the individualized masks that constitute our social roles.

It is as though our perception has pierced through the role-

It is as though our perception has pierced through the role-

playing social mask to see what was hidden behind it, not a

playing social mask to see what was hidden behind it, not a

genuine individual, but the blur and shadow of a self erased

genuine individual, but the blur and shadow of a self erased

by the mask. The social role takes over the self, leaving

by the mask. The social role takes over the self, leaving

behind only a ghastly remnant. The mask as the social front

behind only a ghastly remnant. The mask as the social front

that mediates the individual with other individuals and with

that mediates the individual with other individuals and with

society absorbs any inner self that might be thought to remain

society absorbs any inner self that might be thought to remain

behind. These blurry faces also resemble masks. It is as

behind. These blurry faces also resemble masks. It is as

though the social mask is two masks in one, the group

though the social mask is two masks in one, the group

identifying role and the deathly underside. Again, a twist on

identifying role and the deathly underside. Again, a twist on

Zhuangzi, life and death are one.

Zhuangzi, life and death are one.

In both cases, that of Teshigahara's film and Chen Jiyi's

In both cases, that of Teshigahara's film and Chen Jiyi's

story, I'd sometimes like to think the message is not that there

story, I'd sometimes like to think the message is not that there

is some true self to recover beneath the social mask (what one

is some true self to recover beneath the social mask (what one

might call the romantic view, in some sense of the term), but

might call the romantic view, in some sense of the term), but

rather that a true self can never be separated from the outer

rather that a true self can never be separated from the outer

self, that genuine humanity has to be found in the social

self, that genuine humanity has to be found in the social

customs that embody it. This what I take to be the element of

customs that embody it. This what I take to be the element of

truth in the Chinese principle of 礼 (li, ritual, custom,

truth in the Chinese principle of 礼 (li, ritual, custom,

politeness). Not the separation of an abstract inner self, but

politeness). Not the separation of an abstract inner self, but

the self as there in the world. This notion, of course, meshes

the self as there in the world. This notion, of course, meshes

with Freud's insistence that the world, for all of its dreaminess,

with Freud's insistence that the world, for all of its dreaminess,

is real as being the only arena of any genuine happiness.

is real as being the only arena of any genuine happiness.

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While there is no hope of separating a self from what one

While there is no hope of separating a self from what one

does in reality, yet the nature of reality and the identities one

does in reality, yet the nature of reality and the identities one

has can correspond to true individuality or the loss of it, the

has can correspond to true individuality or the loss of it, the

usurpation of a genuine individuality and its replacement by

usurpation of a genuine individuality and its replacement by

abstract and formal identity.

abstract and formal identity.

Chen Chao's personal identities can be seen to constitute a

Chen Chao's personal identities can be seen to constitute a

natural progression from the pursuit of success in the city and

natural progression from the pursuit of success in the city and

the loss of individualism in an alienating economic order of

the loss of individualism in an alienating economic order of

group-identity selfishness, to the retreat or respite from it

group-identity selfishness, to the retreat or respite from it

among the hibernating workers commuting in the bus. The

among the hibernating workers commuting in the bus. The

final and most ambiguous identity stage is Chen's merging

final and most ambiguous identity stage is Chen's merging

with Ma Qi, reading his history in scattered fragments of

with Ma Qi, reading his history in scattered fragments of

writing, and finally burying him in a phantasmic reality or a

writing, and finally burying him in a phantasmic reality or a

realistic phantasy. In the final stage, the difference between

realistic phantasy. In the final stage, the difference between

life and death becomes blurred even more in that we can also

life and death becomes blurred even more in that we can also

understand hibernation to be a sort of enlightenment. Chen

understand hibernation to be a sort of enlightenment. Chen

Chao's phantasmic burial of Ma Qi also strongly suggests a

Chao's phantasmic burial of Ma Qi also strongly suggests a

dramatic recognition scene.

dramatic recognition scene.

Recognition, dream, and reality

Recognition, dream, and reality

And yet, and yet . . . To deny temporal succession, to

And yet, and yet . . . To deny temporal succession, to

deny the self, to deny the astronomical universe,

deny the self, to deny the astronomical universe,

these are obvious desperations and secret

these are obvious desperations and secret

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consolations. Our destiny (different from the hell of

consolations. Our destiny (different from the hell of

Swedenborg and the hell of Tibetan mythology) is

Swedenborg and the hell of Tibetan mythology) is

not horrifying for being unreal; it is horrifying for

not horrifying for being unreal; it is horrifying for

being irreversible and ironclad. Time is the

being irreversible and ironclad. Time is the

substance of which I am made. Time is a river that

substance of which I am made. Time is a river that

sweeps me along, but I am the river; it is a tiger that

sweeps me along, but I am the river; it is a tiger that

destroys me, but I am the tiger; it is a fire that

destroys me, but I am the tiger; it is a fire that

consumes me, but I am the fire. The world, unfortunately, is real; I, unfortunately, am Borges.

consumes me, but I am the fire. The world, 7

unfortunately, is real; I, unfortunately, am Borges. 7

– Jorge Luis Borges, “Nueva refutación del tiempo”

– Jorge Luis Borges, “Nueva refutación del tiempo”

A central point of Greek tragedy, as depicted by Aristotle, is

A central point of Greek tragedy, as depicted by Aristotle, is

recognition. Typically, the recognition of the hero consists in

recognition. Typically, the recognition of the hero consists in

seeing his error, his tragic flaw that has led to his fate. In

seeing his error, his tragic flaw that has led to his fate. In

classical tragedy the recognition comes too late to help the

classical tragedy the recognition comes too late to help the

hero. It serves only as an awareness that even further torments

hero. It serves only as an awareness that even further torments

him as pity or fear, now knowing that a necessity inside

him as pity or fear, now knowing that a necessity inside

himself, and not an external force, determined his fate. But

himself, and not an external force, determined his fate. But

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And yet, and yet. . . Negar la sucesión temporal, negar el yo, negar el universo astronómico, son desesperaciones aparentes y consuelos secretos. Nuestro destino (a diferencia del infierno de Swedenborg y del infierno de la mitología tibetana) no es espantoso por irreal; es espantoso porque es irreversible y de hierro. El tiempo es la sustancia de que estoy hecho. El tiempo es un río que me arrebata, pero yo soy el río; es un tigre que me destroza, pero yo soy el tigre; es un fuego que me consume, pero yo soy el fuego. El mundo, desgraciadamente, es real; yo, desgraciadamente, soy Borges.

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And yet, and yet. . . Negar la sucesión temporal, negar el yo, negar el universo astronómico, son desesperaciones aparentes y consuelos secretos. Nuestro destino (a diferencia del infierno de Swedenborg y del infierno de la mitología tibetana) no es espantoso por irreal; es espantoso porque es irreversible y de hierro. El tiempo es la sustancia de que estoy hecho. El tiempo es un río que me arrebata, pero yo soy el río; es un tigre que me destroza, pero yo soy el tigre; es un fuego que me consume, pero yo soy el fuego. El mundo, desgraciadamente, es real; yo, desgraciadamente, soy Borges.

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this recognition may help those in the audience, for they,

this recognition may help those in the audience, for they,

identifying with the hero, can experience the emotions

identifying with the hero, can experience the emotions

connected with the recognition, safely protected from the

connected with the recognition, safely protected from the

reality of the stage. Or so the story goes, as long as fiction

reality of the stage. Or so the story goes, as long as fiction

and reality remain separate.

and reality remain separate.

In Chen Giuyi's story, it is tempting to find a recognition

In Chen Giuyi's story, it is tempting to find a recognition

in connection to some action of resistance against the

in connection to some action of resistance against the

economic order, since we can understand the story as a

economic order, since we can understand the story as a

reflection on an inhumane economic reality in today's

reflection on an inhumane economic reality in today's

metropolises. There are two angles of rebellion against this

metropolises. There are two angles of rebellion against this

humanity. One is a direct physical resistance captured in two

humanity. One is a direct physical resistance captured in two

moments, in the opening narrative (that turns out to be

moments, in the opening narrative (that turns out to be

phantasy) with a foreboding of the end... “the hissing sizzle of

phantasy) with a foreboding of the end... “the hissing sizzle of

an electric saw cutting steel plates, as if someone were

an electric saw cutting steel plates, as if someone were

rebelling,” as matter itself, like a lone worker, seems to resist

rebelling,” as matter itself, like a lone worker, seems to resist

conforming to the contorted economic reality. Then, the direct

conforming to the contorted economic reality. Then, the direct

resistance appears in the form of Chen Chao's released

resistance appears in the form of Chen Chao's released

aggression against his boss: “... of my many years of struggle

aggression against his boss: “... of my many years of struggle

in Beijing, there remained only two clenched fists!” Chen's

in Beijing, there remained only two clenched fists!” Chen's

flurry of aggression against the boss and the images in his

flurry of aggression against the boss and the images in his

mind at the time release a pent up aggression.

mind at the time release a pent up aggression.

The other angle of rebellion is to withdraw, going into

The other angle of rebellion is to withdraw, going into

hibernation and resisting the economic order by refusing to

hibernation and resisting the economic order by refusing to

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cooperate, as Ma Qi explains in describing to Chen the social

cooperate, as Ma Qi explains in describing to Chen the social

effects of hibernation:

effects of hibernation:

“Firstly, productive forces would be affected; secondly,

“Firstly, productive forces would be affected; secondly,

social order would be destroyed; thirdly, the army would

social order would be destroyed; thirdly, the army would

become lax in combat effectiveness; fourthly, criminals

become lax in combat effectiveness; fourthly, criminals

would escape to cold areas and hide in caves and, by

would escape to cold areas and hide in caves and, by

means of hibernation, avoid arrest....”

means of hibernation, avoid arrest....”

And these two modes of resistance are conflated together,

And these two modes of resistance are conflated together,

since it is right after Chen's physical resistance against his

since it is right after Chen's physical resistance against his

boss that he first perceives the coldness of Beijing and

boss that he first perceives the coldness of Beijing and

phantasizes about hibernating with Ma Qi: “I suddenly

phantasizes about hibernating with Ma Qi: “I suddenly

thought of Ma Qi, and thought of hibernation.” If one

thought of Ma Qi, and thought of hibernation.” If one

resistance is futile, then the other option is left.

resistance is futile, then the other option is left.

But I think neither of these modes of resistance, physical

But I think neither of these modes of resistance, physical

attack or withdrawal, is content of the story's recognition,

attack or withdrawal, is content of the story's recognition,

though they have some connection to it. It is the final burial

though they have some connection to it. It is the final burial

scene that has the tone of recognition – because, for one, the

scene that has the tone of recognition – because, for one, the

burial is itself a metaphor for enlightenment (“forgetting both

burial is itself a metaphor for enlightenment (“forgetting both

the world and himself”), and also because it is the narrator's

the world and himself”), and also because it is the narrator's

vision, his phantasy.

vision, his phantasy.

The burial scene is set up when Chen Chao arrives home

The burial scene is set up when Chen Chao arrives home

and, unable to find Ma Qi, rummages through Ma Qi's old

and, unable to find Ma Qi, rummages through Ma Qi's old

notes left piled among his stuff. As he reads, it is as though he

notes left piled among his stuff. As he reads, it is as though he

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were reading about his own life. It is Chen who has just been

were reading about his own life. It is Chen who has just been

fired. The identity of Chen and Ma Qi is below the surface, at

fired. The identity of Chen and Ma Qi is below the surface, at

the symbolic level. On the surface, we can just see Chen's

the symbolic level. On the surface, we can just see Chen's

merging with Ma Qi, identifying with a person he fears he has

merging with Ma Qi, identifying with a person he fears he has

lost: “...that night I so much wanted to have a heart-to-heart

lost: “...that night I so much wanted to have a heart-to-heart

talk with Ma Qi. I seemed once again to hear Ma Qi asking

talk with Ma Qi. I seemed once again to hear Ma Qi asking

me about something like accompanying him to the outskirts

me about something like accompanying him to the outskirts

to dig a cave for hibernation.” We can also assume that Chen

to dig a cave for hibernation.” We can also assume that Chen

sees in Ma Qi's life his own fate, or his own potential fate.

sees in Ma Qi's life his own fate, or his own potential fate.

But at a symbolic level, what has happened to Ma Qi doesn't

But at a symbolic level, what has happened to Ma Qi doesn't

matter. The hero's internal merging with Ma Qi now takes

matter. The hero's internal merging with Ma Qi now takes

precedence over the realistic plot.

precedence over the realistic plot.

I began this essay exploring the ambiguity of the ending,

I began this essay exploring the ambiguity of the ending,

that the realism of the dream or phantasy casts doubt on the

that the realism of the dream or phantasy casts doubt on the

realism of what we take to be the realistic part of the plot.

realism of what we take to be the realistic part of the plot.

This feature of the story also colludes with other notions of

This feature of the story also colludes with other notions of

reality that, in some sense, not all, see life as dreamy or

reality that, in some sense, not all, see life as dreamy or

illusory – I mentioned Zhuangzi and Freud. Let me return to

illusory – I mentioned Zhuangzi and Freud. Let me return to

this.

this. Though Freud's thought is based on the reality of

Though Freud's thought is based on the reality of

happiness and its opposite, pain, in some sense human reality

happiness and its opposite, pain, in some sense human reality

is also illusory for Freud. The reality of the social order, what

is also illusory for Freud. The reality of the social order, what

should promote happiness, is secondary, a mental construct in

should promote happiness, is secondary, a mental construct in

part based on phantasy, the wish to recapture a childhood

part based on phantasy, the wish to recapture a childhood

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happiness, the life in the family, protection and love from

happiness, the life in the family, protection and love from

one's parents. If success in the world cannot again capture that

one's parents. If success in the world cannot again capture that

happiness, then it there is another option, the happiness of the

happiness, then it there is another option, the happiness of the

womb, a happiness of tranquility and nirvana beyond life and

womb, a happiness of tranquility and nirvana beyond life and

death, the cave of primitive hibernation. The loved and

death, the cave of primitive hibernation. The loved and

protected individual and death, return to inorganic matter, are

protected individual and death, return to inorganic matter, are

two competing versions of happiness – in some sense, both

two competing versions of happiness – in some sense, both

equally illusory.

equally illusory.

Of course, Chen Chao and his three friends went to

Of course, Chen Chao and his three friends went to

Beijing driven by the goal of success, a good job, network of

Beijing driven by the goal of success, a good job, network of

well-placed friends, love, family – everything that one dreams

well-placed friends, love, family – everything that one dreams

of as a child, the child's phantasy provides purpose for the

of as a child, the child's phantasy provides purpose for the

individual's actions. When one happiness appears illusory in

individual's actions. When one happiness appears illusory in

various ways, the other, equally illusory, may be more real.

various ways, the other, equally illusory, may be more real.

I don't know what Chen was thinking as he buried Ma Qi

I don't know what Chen was thinking as he buried Ma Qi

– he's just a character in a story, after all – but at its deepest

– he's just a character in a story, after all – but at its deepest

level I see the story neither as reformist propaganda, nor as

level I see the story neither as reformist propaganda, nor as

romantic dreaming and resurrection with “with sunny spring’s

romantic dreaming and resurrection with “with sunny spring’s

third lunar month.” The tears that accompany Chen Chao's

third lunar month.” The tears that accompany Chen Chao's

phantasmic burial of Ma Qi reveal the sad recognition in me

phantasmic burial of Ma Qi reveal the sad recognition in me

that the fleeting happiness and pain expressed in our faded

that the fleeting happiness and pain expressed in our faded

and blurry faces is indeed real so long as we dream.

and blurry faces is indeed real so long as we dream.

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A Long Journey from Home at Eighteen

A Long Journey from Home at Eighteen

by Yu Hua (translators: Zhou Shengjie, Zhang Yu, Timothy Huson)

by Yu Hua (translators: Zhou Shengjie, Zhang Yu, Timothy Huson)

The asphalt road goes up and down without end, as though

The asphalt road goes up and down without end, as though

the road were stuck onto sea waves. As I walk on this

the road were stuck onto sea waves. As I walk on this

mountain road, I'm like a ship. This year I am eighteen, on

mountain road, I'm like a ship. This year I am eighteen, on

my chin those few yellow whiskers fluttering against the

my chin those few yellow whiskers fluttering against the

wind, those are the first batch of whiskers to come and settle

wind, those are the first batch of whiskers to come and settle

here, and so I especially treasure them. I've been walking on

here, and so I especially treasure them. I've been walking on

this road for a whole day and have already seen quite a lot of

this road for a whole day and have already seen quite a lot of

mountains and quite a lot of clouds. All the mountains and

mountains and quite a lot of clouds. All the mountains and

all the clouds have made me think of people I know well. I

all the clouds have made me think of people I know well. I

then call out their nicknames to those mountains and clouds.

then call out their nicknames to those mountains and clouds.

So even though I've been walking all day, I'm not tired at all.

So even though I've been walking all day, I'm not tired at all.

In this way I passed through the early morning, now I'm

In this way I passed through the early morning, now I'm

walking into the coda of the afternoon, and can at last even

walking into the coda of the afternoon, and can at last even

see twilight's hair. But I've still not walked into an inn.

see twilight's hair. But I've still not walked into an inn.

On the road I've met not a few people, but none of them

On the road I've met not a few people, but none of them

knows if up ahead there is a place to stay, if up ahead there

knows if up ahead there is a place to stay, if up ahead there

is an inn. They all told me like this: “You walk ahead and

is an inn. They all told me like this: “You walk ahead and

see.” I thought what they said was quite good, I am indeed

see.” I thought what they said was quite good, I am indeed

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walking ahead to see. But I've still not walked into an inn. I

walking ahead to see. But I've still not walked into an inn. I

think I should worry about the inn on my own.

think I should worry about the inn on my own.

I feel strange walking all day, but only coming across

I feel strange walking all day, but only coming across

one car. At that time it was noon, at that time I'd just started

one car. At that time it was noon, at that time I'd just started

wanting a ride, but at that time no more than merely wanting

wanting a ride, but at that time no more than merely wanting

a ride, at that time I wasn't yet worried about the inn, at that

a ride, at that time I wasn't yet worried about the inn, at that

time I merely thought getting a ride would be very awesome.

time I merely thought getting a ride would be very awesome.

I stood at the roadside waving my hand at that car, trying to

I stood at the roadside waving my hand at that car, trying to

wave in a free and easy way. But that driver didn't even look

wave in a free and easy way. But that driver didn't even look

at me, car and driver the same, without even a glance,

at me, car and driver the same, without even a glance,

flashed right before my eyes and went on by, mother fuck.

flashed right before my eyes and went on by, mother fuck.

Then, in desperation, I chased the car for a while, I did this

Then, in desperation, I chased the car for a while, I did this

just for fun, since at that time I wasn't worrying about the

just for fun, since at that time I wasn't worrying about the

inn. I kept right on chasing the car until it disappeared, then

inn. I kept right on chasing the car until it disappeared, then

I laughed heartily at myself, but right away I found laughing

I laughed heartily at myself, but right away I found laughing

so much disturbed my breathing, so I immediately stopped

so much disturbed my breathing, so I immediately stopped

laughing. After that, in high spirits, I continued walking, but

laughing. After that, in high spirits, I continued walking, but

in my mind I started to regret, regret that just now in my

in my mind I started to regret, regret that just now in my

waving hand I hadn't put a stone.

waving hand I hadn't put a stone.

Now I really want to get a ride, since the dusk is

Now I really want to get a ride, since the dusk is

coming, while the inn is still in its mother's belly. But the

coming, while the inn is still in its mother's belly. But the

whole afternoon I actually never again saw a car. If now I

whole afternoon I actually never again saw a car. If now I

were to again try to stop a car, I think I surely could stop it. I

were to again try to stop a car, I think I surely could stop it. I

would lie in the middle of the road, and I’m sure all cars

would lie in the middle of the road, and I’m sure all cars

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would urgently brake beside my ear. But now not even the

would urgently brake beside my ear. But now not even the

sound of a car's motor can be heard. Now I can only walk

sound of a car's motor can be heard. Now I can only walk

ahead and see. These words aren't bad, walk ahead and see.

ahead and see. These words aren't bad, walk ahead and see.

The road has been going up and down, the higher

The road has been going up and down, the higher

places always seducing me, seducing me to desperately rush

places always seducing me, seducing me to desperately rush

on up to see the inn, but each time I only see another high

on up to see the inn, but each time I only see another high

place and, in between, a disappointing arc. In spite of this I

place and, in between, a disappointing arc. In spite of this I

still, again and again, rushed to the high place, each time

still, again and again, rushed to the high place, each time

rushing desperately. Now I am again rushing to the high

rushing desperately. Now I am again rushing to the high

point. This time I finally see, I see not an inn, but a truck.

point. This time I finally see, I see not an inn, but a truck.

The truck is stopped facing me in this direction, stopped at

The truck is stopped facing me in this direction, stopped at

the road's low point. I see that driver's butt lifted high, and

the road's low point. I see that driver's butt lifted high, and

on his butt the evening glow. The driver's head I can't see,

on his butt the evening glow. The driver's head I can't see,

his head is tucked into the front of the truck. That truck's

his head is tucked into the front of the truck. That truck's

front hood is tilted up, like an upturned lip. Inside the truck

front hood is tilted up, like an upturned lip. Inside the truck

bed, bamboo baskets are piled up high, and I think inside the

bed, bamboo baskets are piled up high, and I think inside the

bamboo baskets there must be fruit. Of course, the best

bamboo baskets there must be fruit. Of course, the best

would be bananas. I think in his cab there might also be

would be bananas. I think in his cab there might also be

some, and so once I get in I can pick one up and eat it.

some, and so once I get in I can pick one up and eat it.

Although that truck is heading in the direction I come from,

Although that truck is heading in the direction I come from,

I no longer care about the direction. Now I need an inn, with

I no longer care about the direction. Now I need an inn, with

no inn present I need a car, and the car is right before my

no inn present I need a car, and the car is right before my

eyes.

eyes.

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In high spirits I run over, turn to the driver and greet him: “Old fellow, how are you?” The driver doesn't seem to have heard me, still fiddling with something.

Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 13, Nov., 2018

In high spirits I run over, turn to the driver and greet him: “Old fellow, how are you?” The driver doesn't seem to have heard me, still fiddling with something.

“Old fellow, have a cigarette.”

“Old fellow, have a cigarette.”

It is only at this moment that he gathers his strength,

It is only at this moment that he gathers his strength,

pulls his head out from inside, and reaches out a sooty hand

pulls his head out from inside, and reaches out a sooty hand

to clamp the cigarette I am handing over. I quickly give him

to clamp the cigarette I am handing over. I quickly give him

a light and, after holding the cigarette in his mouth and

a light and, after holding the cigarette in his mouth and

taking a few puffs, he again tucks his head inside.

taking a few puffs, he again tucks his head inside.

As a result my mind is at peace, reasoning that, since he

As a result my mind is at peace, reasoning that, since he

has taken my cigarette, he must let me take a seat in his

has taken my cigarette, he must let me take a seat in his

truck. So I circle around the truck, the circling around is to

truck. So I circle around the truck, the circling around is to

detect the content of the baskets. But I can't see clearly, so I

detect the content of the baskets. But I can't see clearly, so I

use my nose to sniff, and I sniff out the smell of apples.

use my nose to sniff, and I sniff out the smell of apples.

Apples aren't bad either, I'm thinking like this.

Apples aren't bad either, I'm thinking like this.

Before long he has repaired his truck, so he closes the

Before long he has repaired his truck, so he closes the

truck's hood and jumps down. I quickly go up and say: “Old

truck's hood and jumps down. I quickly go up and say: “Old

fellow, I want a ride.” Unexpectedly he gives me a push

fellow, I want a ride.” Unexpectedly he gives me a push

with his sooty hand and says to me rudely: “Scram!”

with his sooty hand and says to me rudely: “Scram!”

I am so angry I have nothing to say, but he leisurely

I am so angry I have nothing to say, but he leisurely

opens the truck door and bores in, then the engine noise

opens the truck door and bores in, then the engine noise

starts up. I know, if I miss this chance, there will be no more

starts up. I know, if I miss this chance, there will be no more

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chances. I'm aware that now I must go for broke. So I run to

chances. I'm aware that now I must go for broke. So I run to

the other side, also pull open the truck door and bore in. I

the other side, also pull open the truck door and bore in. I

intend to have a big fight with him inside the cab. When I

intend to have a big fight with him inside the cab. When I

get in, the first thing I do is yell at him: “Your mouth is still

get in, the first thing I do is yell at him: “Your mouth is still

holding my cigarette.” At this moment the truck is already

holding my cigarette.” At this moment the truck is already

moving.

moving.

But he smiles cheerfully and looks at me in a

But he smiles cheerfully and looks at me in a

completely friendly way, and this makes me greatly

completely friendly way, and this makes me greatly

confused. He asks: “Where are you going?”

confused. He asks: “Where are you going?”

I say: “Wherever.”

I say: “Wherever.”

He again kindly asks me: “Do you want to eat apples?”

He again kindly asks me: “Do you want to eat apples?”

He is still looking at me.

He is still looking at me.

“Is there a need to ask?”

“Is there a need to ask?”

“Go to the back to get some.”

“Go to the back to get some.”

He is driving the truck so fast, do I dare climb out of

He is driving the truck so fast, do I dare climb out of

the cab and then climb to the back? So I say: “Forget it.” He says: “Go and take some.” His eyes are still looking at me.

the cab and then climb to the back? So I say: “Forget it.” He says: “Go and take some.” His eyes are still looking at me.

I say: “Stop looking, there is no road on my face.”

I say: “Stop looking, there is no road on my face.”

At last he turns his head around to look at the road.

At last he turns his head around to look at the road.

The truck is heading fast in the direction I came from,

The truck is heading fast in the direction I came from,

as I make myself comfortable sitting in the seat, looking out

as I make myself comfortable sitting in the seat, looking out

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the window, and chatting with the driver. Now me and him

the window, and chatting with the driver. Now me and him

have already become friends. I already know that he is an

have already become friends. I already know that he is an

independent merchant. The truck is his own, the apples also

independent merchant. The truck is his own, the apples also

are his. I even hear the tinkling of coins inside his pocket. I

are his. I even hear the tinkling of coins inside his pocket. I

ask him: “Where are you going?”

ask him: “Where are you going?”

He says: “Let’s drive ahead to see.”

He says: “Let’s drive ahead to see.”

These words practically sound like they were said by

These words practically sound like they were said by

my brother, these words are really kind. I feel myself even

my brother, these words are really kind. I feel myself even

more intimate with him. Outside the truck window,

more intimate with him. Outside the truck window,

everything should be well-known to me, those mountains,

everything should be well-known to me, those mountains,

those clouds all make me think of another group of people I

those clouds all make me think of another group of people I

know well, so again I call out another bunch of nicknames.

know well, so again I call out another bunch of nicknames.

Now I simply don't care about any inn, this truck, this

Now I simply don't care about any inn, this truck, this

driver, this seat make me feel peace of mind and justified. I

driver, this seat make me feel peace of mind and justified. I

don't know where the truck is going, he also doesn't know.

don't know where the truck is going, he also doesn't know.

After all it doesn’t matter to us what kind of a place awaits

After all it doesn’t matter to us what kind of a place awaits

us up ahead, we just want the truck to speed along, then

us up ahead, we just want the truck to speed along, then

speed ahead to see.

speed ahead to see.

But this truck drops anchor. At that moment we were

But this truck drops anchor. At that moment we were

already friends as good as it gets. I had put my hand on his

already friends as good as it gets. I had put my hand on his

shoulder, he had put his hand on my shoulder. He was in the

shoulder, he had put his hand on my shoulder. He was in the

middle of letting me hear him tell his love story, just starting

middle of letting me hear him tell his love story, just starting

to talk about the feeling of embracing a female for the first

to talk about the feeling of embracing a female for the first

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time, and this truck drops anchor. The truck was going up a

time, and this truck drops anchor. The truck was going up a

slope when it dropped anchor, at which point the truck

slope when it dropped anchor, at which point the truck

suddenly stopped crying out, suddenly motionless like a

suddenly stopped crying out, suddenly motionless like a

dead pig. So again he climbs up to the front of the truck,

dead pig. So again he climbs up to the front of the truck,

again takes hold of and turns up that upper lip, again tucks

again takes hold of and turns up that upper lip, again tucks

his head inside. I am sitting in the cab, I know that at this

his head inside. I am sitting in the cab, I know that at this

moment his butt again must be lifted high, but the upper lip

moment his butt again must be lifted high, but the upper lip

blocks my line of sight, I can't see his butt. But I can hear

blocks my line of sight, I can't see his butt. But I can hear

the sound of him repairing the truck.

the sound of him repairing the truck.

After a while, he pulls out his head and closes the

After a while, he pulls out his head and closes the

truck's hood. At that time his hands have turned even sootier,

truck's hood. At that time his hands have turned even sootier,

he wipes and wipes his dirty hands over his clothes, then

he wipes and wipes his dirty hands over his clothes, then

jumps to the ground and walks over.

jumps to the ground and walks over.

“Repaired?” I ask.

“Repaired?” I ask.

“It’s gone, no way to repair it.” He says.

“It’s gone, no way to repair it.” He says.

I think it’s done for, “What to do then?” I ask.

I think it’s done for, “What to do then?” I ask.

“Wait and see.” He says with a casual air.

“Wait and see.” He says with a casual air.

I am still sitting in the truck, with no idea about what to

I am still sitting in the truck, with no idea about what to

do. For the time being I am again thinking about some or

do. For the time being I am again thinking about some or

another inn. At that time the sun was just about to set behind

another inn. At that time the sun was just about to set behind

the mountains, and the sunset glow was rising up like steam.

the mountains, and the sunset glow was rising up like steam.

Then the inn comes back once again into my mind, and is

Then the inn comes back once again into my mind, and is

gradually swelling up, before long stuffing up my whole

gradually swelling up, before long stuffing up my whole

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head. At that time my head is not there, and in the place of

head. At that time my head is not there, and in the place of

the head there sprouts an inn.

the head there sprouts an inn.

At this moment the driver starts doing broadcast

At this moment the driver starts doing broadcast

exercises in the middle of the road, he does it complete,

exercises in the middle of the road, he does it complete,

from the first segment to the last segment, doing it quite

from the first segment to the last segment, doing it quite

seriously. Finishing, he goes on jogging around the truck.

seriously. Finishing, he goes on jogging around the truck.

The driver probably has stayed too long in the cab, now he

The driver probably has stayed too long in the cab, now he

needs to exercise his body. Watching his activities outside, I

needs to exercise his body. Watching his activities outside, I

am also unable to sit inside, so I open the door and jump out

am also unable to sit inside, so I open the door and jump out

too. But I don't do broadcast exercises, nor the jogging. I am

too. But I don't do broadcast exercises, nor the jogging. I am

thinking about the inn.

thinking about the inn.

At this moment I see on the slope that there are five

At this moment I see on the slope that there are five

people riding down on bicycles, and on the back seat of each

people riding down on bicycles, and on the back seat of each

bicycle two very big bamboo baskets fastened to a shoulder-

bicycle two very big bamboo baskets fastened to a shoulder-

pole, I think they’re probably farmers from nearby, probably

pole, I think they’re probably farmers from nearby, probably

coming back from selling vegetables. Seeing people coming

coming back from selling vegetables. Seeing people coming

down, in my heart I feel utter joy, and I go right up and

down, in my heart I feel utter joy, and I go right up and

shout out: “Old fellows, how are you?”

shout out: “Old fellows, how are you?”

Those five people ride up in front of me and jump off

Those five people ride up in front of me and jump off

their bikes, and I go up quite happily and ask: “Is there an

their bikes, and I go up quite happily and ask: “Is there an

inn nearby?”

inn nearby?”

They don't answer, but instead ask me: “What's that loaded in the truck?”

They don't answer, but instead ask me: “What's that loaded in the truck?”

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I say: “They're apples.”

I say: “They're apples.”

The five of them, pushing their bicycles, walk up

The five of them, pushing their bicycles, walk up

beside the truck, and two of them finally climb up into the

beside the truck, and two of them finally climb up into the

truck, proceeding to flip down ten baskets of apples, the

truck, proceeding to flip down ten baskets of apples, the

three people below lifting open the lids and pouring them

three people below lifting open the lids and pouring them

into their own baskets. For a moment I'm still not aware of

into their own baskets. For a moment I'm still not aware of

what is happening, that scene strikes me dumb with surprise.

what is happening, that scene strikes me dumb with surprise.

As soon as I come to my senses I rush up and reproach them:

As soon as I come to my senses I rush up and reproach them:

“What are you going to do?”

“What are you going to do?”

None of them show any interest in me, and they go on

None of them show any interest in me, and they go on

pouring apples. I go up to grab one of the men by the hand

pouring apples. I go up to grab one of the men by the hand

and shout out: “Somebody's stealing apples here!” At this

and shout out: “Somebody's stealing apples here!” At this

moment a clenched fist punches resolutely at my nose and I

moment a clenched fist punches resolutely at my nose and I

am knocked meters away. I get up and feel with my hand,

am knocked meters away. I get up and feel with my hand,

my nose, soft and collapsed, seems like it is dangling from

my nose, soft and collapsed, seems like it is dangling from

my face, the fresh blood flowing out like tears of grief. But

my face, the fresh blood flowing out like tears of grief. But

when I clearly see the big fellow with robust body and

when I clearly see the big fellow with robust body and

strong physical strength who had punched me, the five

strong physical strength who had punched me, the five

people have already gotten up on their bicycles and ridden

people have already gotten up on their bicycles and ridden

away.

away.

The driver at this moment is taking a slow stroll, his lip

The driver at this moment is taking a slow stroll, his lip

turned up, panting in gulps, he might be tired from having

turned up, panting in gulps, he might be tired from having

just jogged. He doesn't seem at all to know what has just

just jogged. He doesn't seem at all to know what has just

now happened. I shout to him: “Your apples were stolen!”

now happened. I shout to him: “Your apples were stolen!”

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But he pays no attention at all to what I shouted and is still

But he pays no attention at all to what I shouted and is still

slowly taking a stroll. I really want to go up and punch him

slowly taking a stroll. I really want to go up and punch him

with my fist to make his nose dangle as well. I run up and

with my fist to make his nose dangle as well. I run up and

shout loudly towards his ear: “Your apples were stolen.” It

shout loudly towards his ear: “Your apples were stolen.” It

was then that he turns around to look at me, but I find his

was then that he turns around to look at me, but I find his

face more and more happy, I find that he is looking at my

face more and more happy, I find that he is looking at my

nose.

nose.

At this moment, on the slope there are quite a lot of

At this moment, on the slope there are quite a lot of

people again riding down on bicycles, on the back of each

people again riding down on bicycles, on the back of each

bicycle there are two big baskets, among the cyclists there

bicycle there are two big baskets, among the cyclists there

are some kids. They swarm down like bees and immediately

are some kids. They swarm down like bees and immediately

surround the truck. A good many people jump up into the

surround the truck. A good many people jump up into the

truck, whereupon the bamboo baskets loaded with apples are

truck, whereupon the bamboo baskets loaded with apples are

lowered down one after another, with apples from some of

lowered down one after another, with apples from some of

the broken baskets flowing out like my nosebleed. They are

the broken baskets flowing out like my nosebleed. They are

all madly loading apples into their own baskets. In just a

all madly loading apples into their own baskets. In just a

flash, the apples in the truck are all finally on the ground. At

flash, the apples in the truck are all finally on the ground. At

that time there are a few hand-held tractors rumbling down

that time there are a few hand-held tractors rumbling down

from the slope, the tractors also stop beside the truck, where

from the slope, the tractors also stop beside the truck, where

off jump a bunch of big guys who start loading apples onto

off jump a bunch of big guys who start loading apples onto

their tractors, those emptied baskets thrown away one by

their tractors, those emptied baskets thrown away one by

one. By that time the apples are already rolling all over the

one. By that time the apples are already rolling all over the

ground, and the people are all squatting like toads to pick up

ground, and the people are all squatting like toads to pick up

apples.

apples. 90

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At this moment I dash ahead, disregarding my safety,

At this moment I dash ahead, disregarding my safety,

and pouncing up, I curse loudly: “Robbers!” as I pounce up.

and pouncing up, I curse loudly: “Robbers!” as I pounce up.

As a result, countless fists and feet come to welcome me,

As a result, countless fists and feet come to welcome me,

every part of my body is beaten almost at the same time.

every part of my body is beaten almost at the same time.

When I prop myself up to crawl up from the ground, several

When I prop myself up to crawl up from the ground, several

kids volley apples at me, with the apples crashing onto my

kids volley apples at me, with the apples crashing onto my

head and breaking apart, but my head is not broken apart. I

head and breaking apart, but my head is not broken apart. I

am just about to pounce up to punch those kids, when a foot

am just about to pounce up to punch those kids, when a foot

firmly kicks my waist. I want to cry out, but when I open my

firmly kicks my waist. I want to cry out, but when I open my

mouth there is no voice. I tumble and sit down on the ground,

mouth there is no voice. I tumble and sit down on the ground,

I can no longer get up, can only watch them randomly

I can no longer get up, can only watch them randomly

grabbing apples. I start to search for that driver with my eyes,

grabbing apples. I start to search for that driver with my eyes,

and as at this moment that fellow is standing far away and

and as at this moment that fellow is standing far away and

laughing heartily at me, I then know that now my

laughing heartily at me, I then know that now my

appearance must be more fabulous than my nose just a

appearance must be more fabulous than my nose just a

moment ago.

moment ago.

At that moment I don't even have the strength to be

At that moment I don't even have the strength to be

angry. I can only watch with my eyes all these things that

angry. I can only watch with my eyes all these things that

stir my anger to the extreme. I am most angry at that driver.

stir my anger to the extreme. I am most angry at that driver.

Down the slope come a few more hand-held tractors

Down the slope come a few more hand-held tractors

and bicycles, and they also become involved in this looting.

and bicycles, and they also become involved in this looting.

I see fewer and fewer apples on the ground, I see some

I see fewer and fewer apples on the ground, I see some

people leave and some people arrive. People arriving late

people leave and some people arrive. People arriving late

start moving their hands towards the truck, I watch them

start moving their hands towards the truck, I watch them

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remove the truck’s glass windows, remove the tires, and

remove the truck’s glass windows, remove the tires, and

even pry off the wooden running boards. With the tires

even pry off the wooden running boards. With the tires

removed, the truck appears to be quite crestfallen, prostrate

removed, the truck appears to be quite crestfallen, prostrate

on the ground. Yet some kids are gathering up those bamboo

on the ground. Yet some kids are gathering up those bamboo

baskets that were just now thrown away. I see the ground is

baskets that were just now thrown away. I see the ground is

cleaner and cleaner, the people fewer and fewer. But at that

cleaner and cleaner, the people fewer and fewer. But at that

time I can just watch, because I no longer even have the

time I can just watch, because I no longer even have the

strength to be angry. I am sitting on the ground unable to get

strength to be angry. I am sitting on the ground unable to get

up, I can only let my eyes walk back and forth.

up, I can only let my eyes walk back and forth.

Now all around it is completely empty, save for a hand-

Now all around it is completely empty, save for a hand-

held tractor still stopped beside the prostrate truck. There are

held tractor still stopped beside the prostrate truck. There are

several people snooping around beside the truck, looking for

several people snooping around beside the truck, looking for

anything else to take away. After looking for a while they at

anything else to take away. After looking for a while they at

last, one by one, climb up on the tractor, then the tractor sets

last, one by one, climb up on the tractor, then the tractor sets

off.

off. At this moment I see that driver also has jumped up on

At this moment I see that driver also has jumped up on

the tractor, he sits down in the bed and continues laughing

the tractor, he sits down in the bed and continues laughing

heartily at me. I see in his hands he is holding that red

heartily at me. I see in his hands he is holding that red

backpack of mine. He has stolen my backpack. In the

backpack of mine. He has stolen my backpack. In the

backpack are my clothes and my money, also food and

backpack are my clothes and my money, also food and

books. But he stole my backpack.

books. But he stole my backpack.

I watch the tractor climb up the slope, then disappear,

I watch the tractor climb up the slope, then disappear,

but I can still hear its sound, and before long there is not

but I can still hear its sound, and before long there is not

even the sound. All at once, all around it is silent, the sky

even the sound. All at once, all around it is silent, the sky

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has darkened. I am still sitting on the ground, at this moment

has darkened. I am still sitting on the ground, at this moment

I am both hungry and cold, but I now have nothing at all.

I am both hungry and cold, but I now have nothing at all.

I sit there for a very long time, then slowly get up. I get

I sit there for a very long time, then slowly get up. I get

up with great difficulty, because with each move my whole

up with great difficulty, because with each move my whole

body aches fiercely, but still I get up. Step by step I hobble

body aches fiercely, but still I get up. Step by step I hobble

up to the truck. That truck's appearance is really miserable, it

up to the truck. That truck's appearance is really miserable, it

is lying there, thoroughly wounded, I know that I myself am

is lying there, thoroughly wounded, I know that I myself am

also thoroughly wounded.

also thoroughly wounded.

The sky is completely dark, all around there is nothing

The sky is completely dark, all around there is nothing

left, save for the thoroughly wounded truck and the

left, save for the thoroughly wounded truck and the

thoroughly wounded me. With an infinite sorrow I look at

thoroughly wounded me. With an infinite sorrow I look at

the truck, with an infinite sorrow the truck also looks at me.

the truck, with an infinite sorrow the truck also looks at me.

I reach out my hand and caress it. It is ice-cold all through

I reach out my hand and caress it. It is ice-cold all through

its body. At that time the wind starts to stir up, the wind is

its body. At that time the wind starts to stir up, the wind is

quite strong, on the mountain the sound of shaking tree

quite strong, on the mountain the sound of shaking tree

leaves resembles the sound of sea waves, this sound makes

leaves resembles the sound of sea waves, this sound makes

me afraid, makes me like the truck, the same ice-cold all

me afraid, makes me like the truck, the same ice-cold all

through my body.

through my body.

I open the truck door and drill in, with the seats not

I open the truck door and drill in, with the seats not

having been pried away by them, this offers my heart a little

having been pried away by them, this offers my heart a little

comfort. So I lie down in the cab. I smell the odor of leaking

comfort. So I lie down in the cab. I smell the odor of leaking

gas, that odor is like the odor of the blood flowing out from

gas, that odor is like the odor of the blood flowing out from

my body. Outside, the wind is blowing stronger and stronger,

my body. Outside, the wind is blowing stronger and stronger,

but lying on the seat I begin to feel a little warm. I feel that,

but lying on the seat I begin to feel a little warm. I feel that,

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although the truck has been thoroughly wounded, the shelter

although the truck has been thoroughly wounded, the shelter

of its heart is still sound, still warm. I know that the shelter

of its heart is still sound, still warm. I know that the shelter

of my own heart is also warm. All the time I've been

of my own heart is also warm. All the time I've been

searching for an inn, yet I didn't expect, Inn, that you would

searching for an inn, yet I didn't expect, Inn, that you would

actually exist here.

actually exist here.

I am lying in the shelter of the truck's heart, recalling

I am lying in the shelter of the truck's heart, recalling

such a clear and gentle midday, at that time the sunshine was

such a clear and gentle midday, at that time the sunshine was

extremely beautiful. I remember myself outside happily

extremely beautiful. I remember myself outside happily

playing for half the day, and when I returned home and

playing for half the day, and when I returned home and

through the window saw my father inside the room

through the window saw my father inside the room

arranging a red backpack, I pounced up to the window and

arranging a red backpack, I pounced up to the window and

asked: “Dad, are you leaving home?”

asked: “Dad, are you leaving home?”

My father turned around and gently said: “No, it’s you who leave home.”

My father turned around and gently said: “No, it’s you who leave home.”

“You’d let me leave home?”

“You’d let me leave home?”

“Yes, you're already eighteen, you should go to learn

“Yes, you're already eighteen, you should go to learn

about the world outside.”

about the world outside.”

Then I took up that pretty red backpack on my back,

Then I took up that pretty red backpack on my back,

and father patted me on the back of my head, just like

and father patted me on the back of my head, just like

patting on the rump of a horse, and so I joyfully rushed out

patting on the rump of a horse, and so I joyfully rushed out

of the home, like a horse in high spirits, joyfully beginning

of the home, like a horse in high spirits, joyfully beginning

to run.

to run.

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Life's Lessons in Yu Hua's “A Long

Life's Lessons in Yu Hua's “A Long

Journey from Home at Eighteen”

Journey from Home at Eighteen”

by Pang Huanyi

by Pang Huanyi

After reading and analyzing Yu Hua's story “A Long Journey

After reading and analyzing Yu Hua's story “A Long Journey

From Home at Eighteen,” my eyes are attracted by the inn,

From Home at Eighteen,” my eyes are attracted by the inn,

the driver, and the truck. I think the inn may have various

the driver, and the truck. I think the inn may have various

meanings corresponding to various stages of the journey, and

meanings corresponding to various stages of the journey, and

I am confused by the actions of the driver, and want to know

I am confused by the actions of the driver, and want to know

the meaning of the truck whose fate converges on that of the

the meaning of the truck whose fate converges on that of the

hero. I think there are deeper meanings for the journey and

hero. I think there are deeper meanings for the journey and

the various people and events encountered.

the various people and events encountered.

Why does the hero fight against robbers while the driver

Why does the hero fight against robbers while the driver

doesn't?

doesn't?

As to why the driver doesn't fight, the first answer may be

As to why the driver doesn't fight, the first answer may be

simply that he doesn’t want to hurt himself. The robbers are

simply that he doesn’t want to hurt himself. The robbers are

too strong and too many, so the driver stays far away to see

too strong and too many, so the driver stays far away to see

what is taking place, not wanting to engage in this fight. He

what is taking place, not wanting to engage in this fight. He

gives up his apples and his friend to ensure his own safety.

gives up his apples and his friend to ensure his own safety.

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The second answer may be that the driver chooses

The second answer may be that the driver chooses

another way to deal with bullying. Instead of fighting, as the

another way to deal with bullying. Instead of fighting, as the

hero does, the driver simply joins in, he feels good and

hero does, the driver simply joins in, he feels good and

excited and wants to be one of the robbers. He becomes a bad

excited and wants to be one of the robbers. He becomes a bad

man when he meets bad people and sees bad things. He

man when he meets bad people and sees bad things. He

abandons goodness and friendship and becomes a bad man,

abandons goodness and friendship and becomes a bad man,

inspired by evil things, he manifests his own inner evil.

inspired by evil things, he manifests his own inner evil.

Maybe he is a bad man from the beginning to the end.

Maybe he is a bad man from the beginning to the end.

This answer is too cruel to the hero, but also provable. As we

This answer is too cruel to the hero, but also provable. As we

can see, when they first meet, the driver doesn’t want to talk

can see, when they first meet, the driver doesn’t want to talk

with the hero until the hero gives him a cigarette. And when

with the hero until the hero gives him a cigarette. And when

the hero wants to have a ride, the driver speaks to him rudely.

the hero wants to have a ride, the driver speaks to him rudely.

When the truck is moving, although the driver asks the hero

When the truck is moving, although the driver asks the hero

to take some apples, he doesn’t slow down and it is very

to take some apples, he doesn’t slow down and it is very

dangerous if the hero climbs to take some apples. And the

dangerous if the hero climbs to take some apples. And the

driver's eyes are very strange. He does not really like to be

driver's eyes are very strange. He does not really like to be

good to the hero.

good to the hero.

I more like the last answer. Maybe the hero thinks they

I more like the last answer. Maybe the hero thinks they

are friends, but the driver doesn’t. It is as though the driver is

are friends, but the driver doesn’t. It is as though the driver is

a part of the robbers from the beginning to the end and has

a part of the robbers from the beginning to the end and has

deliberately trapped the hero. Maybe the driver wants to be a

deliberately trapped the hero. Maybe the driver wants to be a

part of the robbers when he sees what the robbers do. In a

part of the robbers when he sees what the robbers do. In a

word, he doesn’t see the hero as his real friend.

word, he doesn’t see the hero as his real friend.

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There is an interesting detail. When the hero sees the

There is an interesting detail. When the hero sees the

driver first time, they are travelling in opposite directions,

driver first time, they are travelling in opposite directions,

which may foreshadow their opposing characters.

which may foreshadow their opposing characters.

The road, the journey, and the people the hero meets on

The road, the journey, and the people the hero meets on

the journey

the journey

It is a very long journey and the hero meets different people

It is a very long journey and the hero meets different people

on the journey. This can be easily seen from the story. But if

on the journey. This can be easily seen from the story. But if

we see the journey as our life, maybe it will have another

we see the journey as our life, maybe it will have another

meaning.

meaning.

The hero’s father had told the hero – as we discover from

The hero’s father had told the hero – as we discover from

the hero's final reverie – that, at eighteen, he should go to

the hero's final reverie – that, at eighteen, he should go to

learn about the world. Eighteen years old in China means that

learn about the world. Eighteen years old in China means that

you are an adult and have to go to society. Society may be

you are an adult and have to go to society. Society may be

cruel. At first, you may be “like a horse in high spirits,

cruel. At first, you may be “like a horse in high spirits,

joyfully beginning to run.” Your loved ones, your friends –

joyfully beginning to run.” Your loved ones, your friends –

the mountains, the clouds the hero calls out to with the names

the mountains, the clouds the hero calls out to with the names

of those he knows well – may be your courage on the way

of those he knows well – may be your courage on the way

forward, although they are not at your side. Then you will

forward, although they are not at your side. Then you will

meet new people. Some may ignore you and treat you with

meet new people. Some may ignore you and treat you with

indifference. Some may give you advice, but you still need go

indifference. Some may give you advice, but you still need go

ahead and see by yourself. You should be independent,

ahead and see by yourself. You should be independent,

because nobody will be there to help you at every step. You

because nobody will be there to help you at every step. You

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will also meet some bad people – the robbers – and they will

will also meet some bad people – the robbers – and they will

hurt you. What’s worse, you may meet someone who seems

hurt you. What’s worse, you may meet someone who seems

like a friend, but cheats you, betrays you, and even hurts you

like a friend, but cheats you, betrays you, and even hurts you

– the driver. The latter can be more scary than those who are

– the driver. The latter can be more scary than those who are

clearly robbers, because you trust them and are not on guard

clearly robbers, because you trust them and are not on guard

against them. As is often said, people who hurt you are often

against them. As is often said, people who hurt you are often

people you trust, because people you don’t trust have no

people you trust, because people you don’t trust have no

chance to hurt you.

chance to hurt you.

It’s a lesson on life's journey at eighteen. Our life is like a

It’s a lesson on life's journey at eighteen. Our life is like a

long journey on an up and down road. We don’t know what

long journey on an up and down road. We don’t know what

comes after the top of the next hill and it is hard to know

comes after the top of the next hill and it is hard to know

whether the friend you meet is real or not. This is the reason

whether the friend you meet is real or not. This is the reason

the hero’s father let him go and see the outside world. A boy

the hero’s father let him go and see the outside world. A boy

need to grow up by going into society.

need to grow up by going into society.

The inn and the truck

The inn and the truck

The inn may be a destination of the journey. It may be a

The inn may be a destination of the journey. It may be a

resting place, an honor or a reward you want, your warm

resting place, an honor or a reward you want, your warm

family, or the end of your life. You want to see it and attain it.

family, or the end of your life. You want to see it and attain it.

But it is hard to attain; maybe you even don’t know where it

But it is hard to attain; maybe you even don’t know where it

is.

is. The truck is like a temptation. When you are in high

The truck is like a temptation. When you are in high

spirits for finding your inn, you don’t care about the truck.

spirits for finding your inn, you don’t care about the truck.

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But when you have failed to find the inn and feel tired, you

But when you have failed to find the inn and feel tired, you

cannot avoid the temptation of the truck. You rush to the

cannot avoid the temptation of the truck. You rush to the

truck, although you need to give up the original direction and

truck, although you need to give up the original direction and

efforts, since the truck is going in the direction from which

efforts, since the truck is going in the direction from which

you came. You go back even go in the wrong direction

you came. You go back even go in the wrong direction

because you are tired and have lost energy. It is the beginning

because you are tired and have lost energy. It is the beginning

of tragedy. You cannot find the inn because the truck just

of tragedy. You cannot find the inn because the truck just

takes you over the road you have already walked without

takes you over the road you have already walked without

finding an inn. You stop going ahead. You are even taken to

finding an inn. You stop going ahead. You are even taken to

hell.

hell. But there is another meaning of the truck. At last the hero

But there is another meaning of the truck. At last the hero

perceives that the truck is like him. The person who has the

perceives that the truck is like him. The person who has the

same character with you will stay with you when you are hurt.

same character with you will stay with you when you are hurt.

But the person who has different character will hurt you and

But the person who has different character will hurt you and

leave you, like the driver did. The truck is the hero's real

leave you, like the driver did. The truck is the hero's real

friend.

friend.

“All the time I've been searching for an inn, yet I didn't

“All the time I've been searching for an inn, yet I didn't

expect, Inn, that you would actually exist here.”

expect, Inn, that you would actually exist here.”

This sentence is like a Chinese poem by Xin Qiji:

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This sentence is like a Chinese poem by Xin Qiji:

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“众里寻她千百度,蓦然回首,那人却在灯火阑珊

“众里寻她千百度,蓦然回首,那人却在灯火阑珊

处.”

处.”

Having searched for her hundreds and thousands of

Having searched for her hundreds and thousands of

times in the crowd, suddenly you turn back, and she is

times in the crowd, suddenly you turn back, and she is

there in the dim light.

there in the dim light.

Maybe sometimes we search for the best thing and we think

Maybe sometimes we search for the best thing and we think

we fail, but actually we had it all the time and didn't know of

we fail, but actually we had it all the time and didn't know of

its existence.

its existence.

The truck and the lady have one thing similar, they are

The truck and the lady have one thing similar, they are

sudden warmth when you lose hope of finding an inn or a

sudden warmth when you lose hope of finding an inn or a

girlfriend. It’s a surprise and a hope fulfilled. In your life,

girlfriend. It’s a surprise and a hope fulfilled. In your life,

when you are desperate, somebody will appear and

when you are desperate, somebody will appear and

accompany you, someone you ignored before and didn’t think

accompany you, someone you ignored before and didn’t think

would be your friend. At that time, the truck and the lady you

would be your friend. At that time, the truck and the lady you

ignored before becomes the fulfilled hope and warmth after

ignored before becomes the fulfilled hope and warmth after

you have traversed some desperate times together. It tells us

you have traversed some desperate times together. It tells us

not be desperate when we seem to have lost everything.

not be desperate when we seem to have lost everything.

What’s more, the lady you ignore also symbolizes some

What’s more, the lady you ignore also symbolizes some

people who are good to you but you ignore. It tells people to

people who are good to you but you ignore. It tells people to

cherish what they have and not to pursue vain love. We can

cherish what they have and not to pursue vain love. We can

find this idea with the truck. The truck has been an inn from

find this idea with the truck. The truck has been an inn from

the beginning to the end, but it is only when the hero is in

the beginning to the end, but it is only when the hero is in

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such a bad situation that he realizes that the truck is an inn.

such a bad situation that he realizes that the truck is an inn.

When it seems he cannot find a real inn and would die

When it seems he cannot find a real inn and would die

without an inn, he suddenly understands that the inn was there

without an inn, he suddenly understands that the inn was there

all along.

all along.

Maybe we are looking for an inn, but the truck, the most

Maybe we are looking for an inn, but the truck, the most

loyal friend, is already that inn.

loyal friend, is already that inn.

The hero’s memory of his father

The hero’s memory of his father

I think the last part is one of the most important parts of this

I think the last part is one of the most important parts of this

story, at the end the hero recalls the prelude to his journey, his

story, at the end the hero recalls the prelude to his journey, his

father asking him to leave home and see the outside world.

father asking him to leave home and see the outside world.

Without this final reminiscence, maybe we will think that

Without this final reminiscence, maybe we will think that

this is just an ordinary and tragic trip, with no bearing on our

this is just an ordinary and tragic trip, with no bearing on our

society and people’s lives. A long journey from home at

society and people’s lives. A long journey from home at

eighteen may be a journey up and down on a road, it may be a

eighteen may be a journey up and down on a road, it may be a

journey into society, and it may be a journey into our own

journey into society, and it may be a journey into our own

fear.

fear. If the plot of the narrative were to simply follow the

If the plot of the narrative were to simply follow the

chronology, if the final reminiscence were put at the top of

chronology, if the final reminiscence were put at the top of

the story as it actually happened, then the narrative would be

the story as it actually happened, then the narrative would be

too flat and would not give the reader a sudden sense of

too flat and would not give the reader a sudden sense of

understanding, the pedagogical effect. It is precisely at the

understanding, the pedagogical effect. It is precisely at the

point where the readers are confused as to why the hero

point where the readers are confused as to why the hero

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experiences such a strange journey that they see, as a memory,

experiences such a strange journey that they see, as a memory,

the chronologically initial scene, and then they have the

the chronologically initial scene, and then they have the

epiphany that this was not only a real journey, but also a

epiphany that this was not only a real journey, but also a

model for the course of human life. The doubt in the readers'

model for the course of human life. The doubt in the readers'

minds, followed by the surprise at the end, will leave a deep

minds, followed by the surprise at the end, will leave a deep

impression on readers, an enlightenment.

impression on readers, an enlightenment.

Maybe readers, upon seeing the last part, will return to

Maybe readers, upon seeing the last part, will return to

the pages already read and think again about the meaning of

the pages already read and think again about the meaning of

what happen on the journey and who the hero meets on the

what happen on the journey and who the hero meets on the

journey, and the final understanding of the story will be

journey, and the final understanding of the story will be

deeper and multi-layered.

deeper and multi-layered.

When we start to do one thing (leave home and experience

When we start to do one thing (leave home and experience

the colorful world), we are usually in high spirits with high

the colorful world), we are usually in high spirits with high

energy, but we will feel tired soon and we still cannot arrive

energy, but we will feel tired soon and we still cannot arrive

our destination (the inn), and then maybe we will see some

our destination (the inn), and then maybe we will see some

temptation and lose our direction. We will go ahead in high

temptation and lose our direction. We will go ahead in high

spirits at first, but sometimes we cannot refuse the temptation

spirits at first, but sometimes we cannot refuse the temptation

and go back, even go in the wrong direction. We first look for

and go back, even go in the wrong direction. We first look for

an inn, but we cannot refuse the temptation of the truck and

an inn, but we cannot refuse the temptation of the truck and

forget our original purpose. And then we lose everything, or

forget our original purpose. And then we lose everything, or

so it initially seems. But it also tells us, although we may

so it initially seems. But it also tells us, although we may

seem

seem

to

lose

everything,

we

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still

have

somebody

to

lose

everything,

we

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still

have

somebody

accompanying us, and so we should not be hopeless or give

accompanying us, and so we should not be hopeless or give

up on life.

up on life.

Especially in Chinese family, children are well protected

Especially in Chinese family, children are well protected

by parents. And maybe this is a good story written by a father

by parents. And maybe this is a good story written by a father

to tell all boys and girls to be careful when they leave home

to tell all boys and girls to be careful when they leave home

and go into society. We will meet various people, some bad

and go into society. We will meet various people, some bad

boys you may think are your real friends, but also some real

boys you may think are your real friends, but also some real

friends you may ignore.

friends you may ignore.

How to recognize friends and avoid temptation, this may

How to recognize friends and avoid temptation, this may

be very important for you when you go into society, a place

be very important for you when you go into society, a place

very different from your home.

very different from your home.

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Buried in Peace

Buried in Peace

by Yan Xi Zao (translators: Tan Chunli and Timothy Huson)

by Yan Xi Zao (translators: Tan Chunli and Timothy Huson)

ONE

ONE

Mom's voice came through the phone, deep and clear: Your

Mom's voice came through the phone, deep and clear: Your

grandma has not been off the bed for six months, her body

grandma has not been off the bed for six months, her body

and spirit are not very good, you'd better come home when

and spirit are not very good, you'd better come home when

you have time; if you have no time, then please be home for

you have time; if you have no time, then please be home for

New Year.

New Year.

I had been raised up by my grandma, as I always heard

I had been raised up by my grandma, as I always heard

others say, but it left no impression at all on me, and always

others say, but it left no impression at all on me, and always

felt I grew up overnight. Now, drifting about away from

felt I grew up overnight. Now, drifting about away from

home, I often think a lot about things in the past, even tending

home, I often think a lot about things in the past, even tending

to envision the memories along a reverse time axis, wanting

to envision the memories along a reverse time axis, wanting

to carve all the bits and pieces of the past with a date, and I

to carve all the bits and pieces of the past with a date, and I

remember the nights my grandma would tell ghost stories, but

remember the nights my grandma would tell ghost stories, but

that was the age of knowing things and remembering things.

that was the age of knowing things and remembering things.

In the image I have of her, Grandma had always been of

In the image I have of her, Grandma had always been of

the old temperament, frugal her entire life, all skin and bones,

the old temperament, frugal her entire life, all skin and bones,

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bones and joints exceptionally distinct and protruding, her

bones and joints exceptionally distinct and protruding, her

back long unable to straighten, but she did not like using a

back long unable to straighten, but she did not like using a

cane when walking. Grandma's clothes had always been the

cane when walking. Grandma's clothes had always been the

old style with a stand-up collar, slant front overlap with

old style with a stand-up collar, slant front overlap with

toggle and loop buttons, at least I had never seen her wearing

toggle and loop buttons, at least I had never seen her wearing

any other style, her dark blue clothes had turned whitish and

any other style, her dark blue clothes had turned whitish and

thin from washing, but on Grandma they fit extraordinarily

thin from washing, but on Grandma they fit extraordinarily

well, and with some charm.

well, and with some charm.

Grandma liked sitting in the alley to cool off, and when I

Grandma liked sitting in the alley to cool off, and when I

would sit down next to her, without thinking she would strike

would sit down next to her, without thinking she would strike

the fan for me. Yes, the palmetto fan – Grandma also took me

the fan for me. Yes, the palmetto fan – Grandma also took me

to make these palm-leaf fans, cutting down the palmetto

to make these palm-leaf fans, cutting down the palmetto

leaves, dragging them home, placing bricks to flatten them,

leaves, dragging them home, placing bricks to flatten them,

laying them out under the sun to dry, and after they had taken

laying them out under the sun to dry, and after they had taken

shape, cutting them into peach-heart shapes, trimming the

shape, cutting them into peach-heart shapes, trimming the

stalks to the right size and length, and then smoothing them,

stalks to the right size and length, and then smoothing them,

and at last making the edging. Grandma would take out all of

and at last making the edging. Grandma would take out all of

the odds and ends of fabric they have in the house and, letting

the odds and ends of fabric they have in the house and, letting

me pick a favorite pattern, would trim it into a length a bit

me pick a favorite pattern, would trim it into a length a bit

longer than the rim of the fan, then carefully sew along the

longer than the rim of the fan, then carefully sew along the

rim, and thus the fan was made.

rim, and thus the fan was made.

Although Grandma was then old, with white hair and

Although Grandma was then old, with white hair and

hunched back, I still could not imagine that she would

hunched back, I still could not imagine that she would

become even older and be about to die. I thought she would

become even older and be about to die. I thought she would

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always be there, sitting in the alley, wagging her palmetto fan,

always be there, sitting in the alley, wagging her palmetto fan,

waiting for me to come home.

waiting for me to come home.

Of course, I clearly understood the words between the

Of course, I clearly understood the words between the

lines my mom spoke, what she didn't say out loud was: Your

lines my mom spoke, what she didn't say out loud was: Your

grandma doesn't have much time left, maybe getting through

grandma doesn't have much time left, maybe getting through

New Year is her final hour, so you have to come home to say

New Year is her final hour, so you have to come home to say

goodbye to her.

goodbye to her.

I suddenly felt sad, the neon lights of the city flashing,

I suddenly felt sad, the neon lights of the city flashing,

people like the moss in the ditch, spreading endlessly into the

people like the moss in the ditch, spreading endlessly into the

dark. I had forgotten a lot of people and things, forgotten the

dark. I had forgotten a lot of people and things, forgotten the

old house with its courtyard, where I lived in my childhood,

old house with its courtyard, where I lived in my childhood,

forgotten the croaks of the frogs and the skies with crowded

forgotten the croaks of the frogs and the skies with crowded

stars in the summer nights, forgotten even the faces of

stars in the summer nights, forgotten even the faces of

childhood playmates.

childhood playmates.

Grandma couldn't read, but she was a living calendar,

Grandma couldn't read, but she was a living calendar,

and could clearly remember every date in the Chinese

and could clearly remember every date in the Chinese

calendar, not to mention big festivals like Qingming and

calendar, not to mention big festivals like Qingming and

Winter Solstice, and she wouldn't forget any of the days for

Winter Solstice, and she wouldn't forget any of the days for

worship and celebration. On the first and the fifteenth of the

worship and celebration. On the first and the fifteenth of the

month and on dates of the birth and death of family members,

month and on dates of the birth and death of family members,

in the early morning she would always make a row about

in the early morning she would always make a row about

needing to buy things for worshiping, and dragonflies,

needing to buy things for worshiping, and dragonflies,

butterflies, and moths that had flown into the house on that

butterflies, and moths that had flown into the house on that

day were considered to be the reincarnation of the souls of

day were considered to be the reincarnation of the souls of

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relatives, and after having gotten their fill of incense, they

relatives, and after having gotten their fill of incense, they

would be caught and set free in the yard.

would be caught and set free in the yard.

I remembered that time I was learning the leap year,

I remembered that time I was learning the leap year,

badgering Grandma into calculating the years of a leap year.

badgering Grandma into calculating the years of a leap year.

Grandma said, I can't understand your question, but this year

Grandma said, I can't understand your question, but this year

is a leap in March, meaning that after the first March passes

is a leap in March, meaning that after the first March passes

there will be another March. At that time I simply couldn't

there will be another March. At that time I simply couldn't

understand why there were two Marches in a year, and I was

understand why there were two Marches in a year, and I was

completely unaware of the so-called leap year referring to the

completely unaware of the so-called leap year referring to the

years of twenty-nine days in February, and that Grandma's

years of twenty-nine days in February, and that Grandma's

leap month referred to the arithmetic of Chinese calendar.

leap month referred to the arithmetic of Chinese calendar.

Later there was a year I came home for New Year, and

Later there was a year I came home for New Year, and

Grandma, in front of the stove, was burning wood to cook

Grandma, in front of the stove, was burning wood to cook

rice, while I was at her side waiting to bake the sweet

rice, while I was at her side waiting to bake the sweet

potatoes. While putting wood into the stove, Grandma chatted

potatoes. While putting wood into the stove, Grandma chatted

with me, at last adding, This year has a leap month in

with me, at last adding, This year has a leap month in

February, my second year having a leap month in February, a

February, my second year having a leap month in February, a

good year. You will have two birthdays this year, but this will

good year. You will have two birthdays this year, but this will

not happen again for centuries. That year I only remembered

not happen again for centuries. That year I only remembered

the first February, for Mom called me and reminded me of it,

the first February, for Mom called me and reminded me of it,

as to the latter one, that leap February, perhaps only Grandma

as to the latter one, that leap February, perhaps only Grandma

kept it in mind.

kept it in mind.

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TWO

TWO

The hometown was still bustling and prosperous as ever, and

The hometown was still bustling and prosperous as ever, and

my home was still kept the same as before, but the moss in

my home was still kept the same as before, but the moss in

the corner was worse, and in the courtyard the most humble

the corner was worse, and in the courtyard the most humble

pink rose bush had actually survived from the old times, now

pink rose bush had actually survived from the old times, now

surpassing shoulder height, with spreading branches and

surpassing shoulder height, with spreading branches and

luxuriant foliage, and I can just imagine its brilliance in full

luxuriant foliage, and I can just imagine its brilliance in full

bloom in the summer. When I was little I like gardening, and

bloom in the summer. When I was little I like gardening, and

when Grandma went around she would never forget to bring

when Grandma went around she would never forget to bring

me back some seedlings and cuttings, which I planted into silt

me back some seedlings and cuttings, which I planted into silt

freshly fetched from the pond, roses and chrysanthemums

freshly fetched from the pond, roses and chrysanthemums

were the best. Today, it’s hard to find them, only a few

were the best. Today, it’s hard to find them, only a few

broken clay pots, with chipped edges and missing sides, in the

broken clay pots, with chipped edges and missing sides, in the

corner, one of them half-filled with mud, and in it a heron's

corner, one of them half-filled with mud, and in it a heron's

bill was growing. The easiest flower to keep alive, it takes

bill was growing. The easiest flower to keep alive, it takes

root if you just snip off a branch and insert it into the soil, a

root if you just snip off a branch and insert it into the soil, a

humble blossom, the size of a thumbnail, five petals, a

humble blossom, the size of a thumbnail, five petals, a

monotonous red.

monotonous red.

As Mom still kept laying hens, they were foraging in the

As Mom still kept laying hens, they were foraging in the

yard and cooing. The walls and crossbeams of the kitchen

yard and cooing. The walls and crossbeams of the kitchen

were badly blackened by smoke, arranged on the stove there

were badly blackened by smoke, arranged on the stove there

were offerings to the kitchen god, and placed in the incense

were offerings to the kitchen god, and placed in the incense

burner were three sticks of incense, their milky white smoke

burner were three sticks of incense, their milky white smoke

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gracefully drifting upward, while the afternoon sunshine

gracefully drifting upward, while the afternoon sunshine

seeped through a skylight with dust dancing in the rays of

seeped through a skylight with dust dancing in the rays of

light. Mom was busy heating rice and cooking dishes, as the

light. Mom was busy heating rice and cooking dishes, as the

braised pork stewing in the pot gave off a seductive smell.

braised pork stewing in the pot gave off a seductive smell.

The New Year of childhood – firecrackers crackling

The New Year of childhood – firecrackers crackling

from morning to night, the front of every house covered with

from morning to night, the front of every house covered with

the red-colored firecracker paper, the singing of New Year

the red-colored firecracker paper, the singing of New Year

songs through every street, adults busy preparing meals for

songs through every street, adults busy preparing meals for

New Year, and kids looking forward to new clothes and lucky

New Year, and kids looking forward to new clothes and lucky

money on New Year's Eve, hoping to grow up quickly.

money on New Year's Eve, hoping to grow up quickly.

And today was New Year's Eve, but at home the New

And today was New Year's Eve, but at home the New

Year atmosphere was not strong, the air was penetrated with

Year atmosphere was not strong, the air was penetrated with

solemnity and sadness, and even speaking seemed to require

solemnity and sadness, and even speaking seemed to require

pinching the throat and suppressing the voice, for fear of

pinching the throat and suppressing the voice, for fear of

disturbing the sick person behind the wall.

disturbing the sick person behind the wall.

Reunion, it seems to be for an eternal farewell.

Reunion, it seems to be for an eternal farewell.

From the afternoon until the evening before going to bed,

From the afternoon until the evening before going to bed,

so many times I passed her room, and so many times I

so many times I passed her room, and so many times I

imagined her appearance, worrying whether she still

imagined her appearance, worrying whether she still

recognized me or not, what she would tell me, but for lack of

recognized me or not, what she would tell me, but for lack of

courage I hesitated my steps.

courage I hesitated my steps.

I wondered if she still remembered those nights my

I wondered if she still remembered those nights my

parents were not home, when she would coax me to sleep, tell

parents were not home, when she would coax me to sleep, tell

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me stories. As for the past, she cherished it, both people and

me stories. As for the past, she cherished it, both people and

events. Her world was brimming with fantasy and the bizarre,

events. Her world was brimming with fantasy and the bizarre,

life's difficulties were touched upon lightly, turned into

life's difficulties were touched upon lightly, turned into

demons and ghosts in a nostalgia for the worldly.

demons and ghosts in a nostalgia for the worldly.

One of the stories was about a ghost maze in the woods.

One of the stories was about a ghost maze in the woods.

With nothing left at home to eat, Grandma, with my father at

With nothing left at home to eat, Grandma, with my father at

three months old tied onto her back with a big strap, was on

three months old tied onto her back with a big strap, was on

her way to visit relatives. On the way back, getting late, she

her way to visit relatives. On the way back, getting late, she

was carrying half a bag of sweet potatoes on her shoulder and

was carrying half a bag of sweet potatoes on her shoulder and

holding some rice in her arms, my father on her back, with a

holding some rice in her arms, my father on her back, with a

heart of joy, step by step struggling home. When passing

heart of joy, step by step struggling home. When passing

through the woods, there was no way out, and again and again

through the woods, there was no way out, and again and again

they circled around in the woods. Grandma said there was a

they circled around in the woods. Grandma said there was a

chance meeting with a mischievous ghost, lonely at night,

chance meeting with a mischievous ghost, lonely at night,

playing games with the passers-by. Throughout that night,

playing games with the passers-by. Throughout that night,

Grandma stopped from time to time, accompanying the

Grandma stopped from time to time, accompanying the

dispossessed lonely souls and wild ghosts wandering around

dispossessed lonely souls and wild ghosts wandering around

in the woods, until with the first ray of morning light shining

in the woods, until with the first ray of morning light shining

into the woods she found the way home.

into the woods she found the way home.

Grandma had hidden away many secrets, and whenever I

Grandma had hidden away many secrets, and whenever I

passed by her room at night, I could always hear the sound of

passed by her room at night, I could always hear the sound of

her mumbling as if she were talking to someone, but

her mumbling as if she were talking to someone, but

sometimes the voice showed no emotion, and continued non-

sometimes the voice showed no emotion, and continued non-

stop, especially terrifying in the silence of the night.

stop, especially terrifying in the silence of the night.

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At that time I was very little, inexperienced, but in spite

At that time I was very little, inexperienced, but in spite

of being scared, I still got up at night and thought of all sorts

of being scared, I still got up at night and thought of all sorts

of ways to figure out who Grandma was talking to. I pricked

of ways to figure out who Grandma was talking to. I pricked

up my ear and scrooched down to the bottom of the door to

up my ear and scrooched down to the bottom of the door to

eavesdrop through the crack, but in vain, then I sneaked out

eavesdrop through the crack, but in vain, then I sneaked out

and went round to the outside window, and what entered my

and went round to the outside window, and what entered my

ear was like an encrypted sacred book, I didn't understand at

ear was like an encrypted sacred book, I didn't understand at

all. Up to then, I still had not been able to pry into Grandma's

all. Up to then, I still had not been able to pry into Grandma's

secret, and she would take the secret into her eternal sleep.

secret, and she would take the secret into her eternal sleep.

Draping some clothes around me as I got up, I came to

Draping some clothes around me as I got up, I came to

the door of Grandma's room and sat down, enveloped by the

the door of Grandma's room and sat down, enveloped by the

emerging transmission of the distinct moans from the torment

emerging transmission of the distinct moans from the torment

of her illness. I couldn't imagine what death is like, perhaps

of her illness. I couldn't imagine what death is like, perhaps

for those who were alive the most intense emotion would

for those who were alive the most intense emotion would

finally weaken, leaving only some sighs and memories,

finally weaken, leaving only some sighs and memories,

nothing more, and Qingming season's tomb-sweeping was

nothing more, and Qingming season's tomb-sweeping was

just a sort of spiritual sustenance and human instinct.

just a sort of spiritual sustenance and human instinct.

The doctor, invited over a few days earlier, had already

The doctor, invited over a few days earlier, had already

informed the elders in the family, apart from intravenous fluid

informed the elders in the family, apart from intravenous fluid

with painkiller, what remained was just to wait out the time.

with painkiller, what remained was just to wait out the time.

Mom and Dad did their best to attend to her, but Grandma

Mom and Dad did their best to attend to her, but Grandma

could no longer swallow any solids, and even drinking soup

could no longer swallow any solids, and even drinking soup

and water was difficult.

and water was difficult.

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The family had already prepared for this much earlier.

The family had already prepared for this much earlier.

Although the government had issued a notice stipulating

Although the government had issued a notice stipulating

cremation without exception, my parents and my uncle had

cremation without exception, my parents and my uncle had

consulted and decided to on a the practice of a traditional

consulted and decided to on a the practice of a traditional

burial, let the elderly be buried in peace. Once the coffin was

burial, let the elderly be buried in peace. Once the coffin was

buried, the dead should be respected, and no one would dare

buried, the dead should be respected, and no one would dare

dig up the grave and disturb the dead's peace.

dig up the grave and disturb the dead's peace.

THREE

THREE

This season's winter day sky was gloomy, floating with cow-

This season's winter day sky was gloomy, floating with cow-

hair drizzle, cold to the bone. Grandma's room was dark and

hair drizzle, cold to the bone. Grandma's room was dark and

cold, and as soon as I entered, a burst of the musty odor of

cold, and as soon as I entered, a burst of the musty odor of

urine bluntly choked my nerves; the dim sunlight of dusk was

urine bluntly choked my nerves; the dim sunlight of dusk was

unable to penetrate and illuminate the dark-colored mosquito

unable to penetrate and illuminate the dark-colored mosquito

net propped in the corner, and underneath a cover was a

net propped in the corner, and underneath a cover was a

dilapidated bed, one bed leg replaced by bricks, while placed

dilapidated bed, one bed leg replaced by bricks, while placed

under the bed were two large wooden boxes, and a bedpan

under the bed were two large wooden boxes, and a bedpan

was nearby. The windows were closed tight, blocking the

was nearby. The windows were closed tight, blocking the

light, but it could not stop the bone-piercing cold.

light, but it could not stop the bone-piercing cold.

Mom had hung up the net, and under heavy quilts,

Mom had hung up the net, and under heavy quilts,

slightly elevated, hard to discern, there was a human figure.

slightly elevated, hard to discern, there was a human figure.

Until Mom pulled the quilt down over her, my tears came

Until Mom pulled the quilt down over her, my tears came

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down, my grandma, like the shell shed by a summer cicada,

down, my grandma, like the shell shed by a summer cicada,

without a soul, only an empty skin-sack remaining, wrapping

without a soul, only an empty skin-sack remaining, wrapping

around a human figure's skeleton, lying right there.

around a human figure's skeleton, lying right there.

Months and years of lying in bed had made her

Months and years of lying in bed had made her

extremely weak, she could no longer sit up on her own, Mom

extremely weak, she could no longer sit up on her own, Mom

had to help her up with both hands, letting her lean against

had to help her up with both hands, letting her lean against

her. With the light coming through the window from outside,

her. With the light coming through the window from outside,

her eyes were full of doubt, her mouth was moaning, but

her eyes were full of doubt, her mouth was moaning, but

without spitting out a distinct word, she was groping with her

without spitting out a distinct word, she was groping with her

hand extended forward, I gently clutched it, the protruding

hand extended forward, I gently clutched it, the protruding

bones appeared terrifyingly cold, dry and weak.

bones appeared terrifyingly cold, dry and weak.

Everyone says to die of old age is a blessing. However,

Everyone says to die of old age is a blessing. However,

to live like a living dead, eyes no longer seeing, ears no

to live like a living dead, eyes no longer seeing, ears no

longer hearing, the sound emerging from the throat making

longer hearing, the sound emerging from the throat making

no sense at all, dragging a loose skin-sack, the only thing left

no sense at all, dragging a loose skin-sack, the only thing left

to being alive is that slow gasping and the tortured moaning

to being alive is that slow gasping and the tortured moaning

from the pain, so, by lingering on to the last breath, what

from the pain, so, by lingering on to the last breath, what

blessing is there? Life is so ugly.

blessing is there? Life is so ugly.

Death came as scheduled. The village was very quiet, as

Death came as scheduled. The village was very quiet, as

if all creatures were asleep, this night seemed extraordinarily

if all creatures were asleep, this night seemed extraordinarily

long, as time, like an old man, was crossing on the path over

long, as time, like an old man, was crossing on the path over

the gap between life and death. Dim light, jumping flame,

the gap between life and death. Dim light, jumping flame,

outside the kitchen was a dark cold night.

outside the kitchen was a dark cold night.

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In the dark of night, a minivan parked in absolute quiet

In the dark of night, a minivan parked in absolute quiet

at the front door of the house, the caller greeted my father and

at the front door of the house, the caller greeted my father and

then walked into Grandma's room, rudely tearing down the

then walked into Grandma's room, rudely tearing down the

net, rolling up the quilt and pillow and tossing them onto the

net, rolling up the quilt and pillow and tossing them onto the

floor; then his foot kicked apart the bed frame, and carrying

floor; then his foot kicked apart the bed frame, and carrying

the bed frame and bed boards on his shoulder he came out and

the bed frame and bed boards on his shoulder he came out and

with a clang threw them into the car, that sound piercing and

with a clang threw them into the car, that sound piercing and

heartless in the night.

heartless in the night.

What will you do with these things? Father asked.

What will you do with these things? Father asked.

Dead people's belongings bring bad luck, should be

Dead people's belongings bring bad luck, should be

burned. That guy didn't even raise his head, but just answered

burned. That guy didn't even raise his head, but just answered

in a gruff tone.

in a gruff tone.

I couldn't see that guy's face clearly, and he spoke very

I couldn't see that guy's face clearly, and he spoke very

fast, with a hard voice. He might have already done the same

fast, with a hard voice. He might have already done the same

thing countless times, he might have already grown

thing countless times, he might have already grown

accustomed to working in the dark of night, and he knew well

accustomed to working in the dark of night, and he knew well

the rules of this business, he might have already bribed some

the rules of this business, he might have already bribed some

officials to facilitate things, after all, to be buried in peace

officials to facilitate things, after all, to be buried in peace

was the old tradition, and the laws made way for the tradition,

was the old tradition, and the laws made way for the tradition,

with one eye closed, it also being common sense.

with one eye closed, it also being common sense.

The person in charge of burial came, also driving a

The person in charge of burial came, also driving a

minivan, and from the back of the car he carried out a wooden

minivan, and from the back of the car he carried out a wooden

coffin and, crossing the yard, placed it in the hall. Burying the

coffin and, crossing the yard, placed it in the hall. Burying the

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dead must follow certain rituals, one must conceal the dead's

dead must follow certain rituals, one must conceal the dead's

hideousness and pain, to indicate that everything in her life

hideousness and pain, to indicate that everything in her life

was vanishing smoke and scattering clouds, with a serene-

was vanishing smoke and scattering clouds, with a serene-

looking face to comfort living relatives, while the relatives,

looking face to comfort living relatives, while the relatives,

with the most intricate rituals of elaborate burial, show the

with the most intricate rituals of elaborate burial, show the

world their heartfelt sadness and respect.

world their heartfelt sadness and respect.

After waiting a while in the kitchen, the burial master

After waiting a while in the kitchen, the burial master

then let the family go in, kneel down to Grandma, and bid

then let the family go in, kneel down to Grandma, and bid

farewell. The burial master was muttering the whole time,

farewell. The burial master was muttering the whole time,

signaling me to step forward, and with his right hand touching

signaling me to step forward, and with his right hand touching

on my forehead, then handing me a red envelope to calm my

on my forehead, then handing me a red envelope to calm my

fear, he lowered his head and whispered in my ear: Take this.

fear, he lowered his head and whispered in my ear: Take this.

Don't be afraid, that was your grandma, go and kowtow to her

Don't be afraid, that was your grandma, go and kowtow to her

three times, then bid her farewell.

three times, then bid her farewell.

My hands tightly tugged at the hem of my clothes, while

My hands tightly tugged at the hem of my clothes, while

my eyes stared straight at the person in the coffin. The coffin

my eyes stared straight at the person in the coffin. The coffin

wasn't big, all around inlaid with dark-colored decorative

wasn't big, all around inlaid with dark-colored decorative

cotton cloth, Grandma was quietly lying inside, not crowded.

cotton cloth, Grandma was quietly lying inside, not crowded.

It was like she had fallen asleep, very peaceful, the look of

It was like she had fallen asleep, very peaceful, the look of

sickness had faded from her face, she wore a dark-color

sickness had faded from her face, she wore a dark-color

cotton coat, her hands folded on her belly, below the waist

cotton coat, her hands folded on her belly, below the waist

covered with a dark blanket.

covered with a dark blanket.

The north wind was blowing, bringing up a lock of white

The north wind was blowing, bringing up a lock of white

hair that fell onto her eyes and face, but she no longer had to

hair that fell onto her eyes and face, but she no longer had to

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pay attention, never again to be nagged by the body or this

pay attention, never again to be nagged by the body or this

mundane world, she would be forever buried in the dark soil.

mundane world, she would be forever buried in the dark soil.

The coffin quite soon was covered, sealed with nails, and

The coffin quite soon was covered, sealed with nails, and

under the cover of the dark night quietly carried to the van,

under the cover of the dark night quietly carried to the van,

and then Father and Uncle left to identify the grave. In the

and then Father and Uncle left to identify the grave. In the

absolutely empty night there were only some choking sobs,

absolutely empty night there were only some choking sobs,

hiding in the roaring winter wind.

hiding in the roaring winter wind.

I remembered every Qingming Festival of my youth,

I remembered every Qingming Festival of my youth,

sweeping the tombs, always such a fascinating journey, in the

sweeping the tombs, always such a fascinating journey, in the

countryside the barely grown grass covered with red

countryside the barely grown grass covered with red

firecracker paper, the mounded graves crowded together,

firecracker paper, the mounded graves crowded together,

most of them with no tombstone, more than a few people

most of them with no tombstone, more than a few people

sweeping the wrong graves, some lonely graves left forgotten,

sweeping the wrong graves, some lonely graves left forgotten,

wild weeds growing year after year, without anyone paying

wild weeds growing year after year, without anyone paying

their respects.

their respects.

Buried in peace, I didn't understand its implications.

Buried in peace, I didn't understand its implications.

Decades later, the coffin would decay into the mud, leaving

Decades later, the coffin would decay into the mud, leaving

only the bones of the skull, torso, and four limbs. I didn't want

only the bones of the skull, torso, and four limbs. I didn't want

to lay in that small black box and be buried in the wild open

to lay in that small black box and be buried in the wild open

mountains, forgotten by time, corroded by the dark, and

mountains, forgotten by time, corroded by the dark, and

swallowed by the insects and beasts. Keep human company

swallowed by the insects and beasts. Keep human company

with the dead, but in one's ears the complaints and sheltering

with the dead, but in one's ears the complaints and sheltering

of the living still linger.

of the living still linger.

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That night, I sat in front of the kitchen stove, the fire

That night, I sat in front of the kitchen stove, the fire

burning fiercely, as I cried myself to sleep and had a dream.

burning fiercely, as I cried myself to sleep and had a dream.

In the dream it was summer, Grandma wore an unlined dress

In the dream it was summer, Grandma wore an unlined dress

and walked ahead, I closely followed behind, on both sides

and walked ahead, I closely followed behind, on both sides

sugar cane was growing, resounding in the blowing wind.

sugar cane was growing, resounding in the blowing wind.

Grandma bent her back and walked slowly, I wanted to ask

Grandma bent her back and walked slowly, I wanted to ask

her to stop, but somehow I could not run forward, and she

her to stop, but somehow I could not run forward, and she

also didn't seem to hear my shout, but kept walking slowly

also didn't seem to hear my shout, but kept walking slowly

forward. Walking from day into the night, after seeing those

forward. Walking from day into the night, after seeing those

rising and falling mounds, suddenly I realized this was the

rising and falling mounds, suddenly I realized this was the

burial ground. I followed her round and round, there was no

burial ground. I followed her round and round, there was no

way out. I recalled Grandma's story about a ghost maze, if

way out. I recalled Grandma's story about a ghost maze, if

only the day broke, we would be able to make a detour to get

only the day broke, we would be able to make a detour to get

out, and be able to return home. I waited until the first beam

out, and be able to return home. I waited until the first beam

of light managed to shine, but Grandma had disappeared, and

of light managed to shine, but Grandma had disappeared, and

in the absolutely empty world there was only me, alone, and I

in the absolutely empty world there was only me, alone, and I

suddenly realized that this was an eternal farewell.

suddenly realized that this was an eternal farewell.

The subsequent fasting event ran a day and a night, and

The subsequent fasting event ran a day and a night, and

from former outside observer I changed into the one who put

from former outside observer I changed into the one who put

on the linen and wore white. At a younger age, I hadn't

on the linen and wore white. At a younger age, I hadn't

known what the fasting event was, only thought it fun and

known what the fasting event was, only thought it fun and

amusing, beating gongs and striking drums, doing acrobatics

amusing, beating gongs and striking drums, doing acrobatics

and performing traditional opera, quite bustling. Most

and performing traditional opera, quite bustling. Most

shocking was towards the end, the burning of gold and silver

shocking was towards the end, the burning of gold and silver

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ingots and gold houses and silver houses, the colorful luxuries

ingots and gold houses and silver houses, the colorful luxuries

turning into ascending flames, dashing into the sky. Most

turning into ascending flames, dashing into the sky. Most

incomprehensible was the wailing at the funeral, obviously it

incomprehensible was the wailing at the funeral, obviously it

was a stranger, but standing up and wailing with tears and a

was a stranger, but standing up and wailing with tears and a

running nose, in a deafening pitch, their mouths chanting and

running nose, in a deafening pitch, their mouths chanting and

reciting non-stop. Later I came to understand, this was the

reciting non-stop. Later I came to understand, this was the

invited wailer, it is the tradition.

invited wailer, it is the tradition.

FOUR

FOUR

Many years later, when I returned to Grandma's grave again, I

Many years later, when I returned to Grandma's grave again, I

suddenly understood a lot of things. Burial or cremation,

suddenly understood a lot of things. Burial or cremation,

ultimately all becomes nothingness, for those not bound to the

ultimately all becomes nothingness, for those not bound to the

worldly, the blue ocean is mulberry fields, time already does

worldly, the blue ocean is mulberry fields, time already does

not matter. But as for what the common people say, that final

not matter. But as for what the common people say, that final

resting place in the ground would allow someone from

resting place in the ground would allow someone from

thousands of miles away to come back to mourn, then feel

thousands of miles away to come back to mourn, then feel

relieved.

relieved.

I hope I can become that person who can grow in the

I hope I can become that person who can grow in the

dark and barren corner, yet be satisfied with a wisp of quiet

dark and barren corner, yet be satisfied with a wisp of quiet

wind and a half moment of moonlight; one able to detach

wind and a half moment of moonlight; one able to detach

from all shades of the city, and feel peace in a night with the

from all shades of the city, and feel peace in a night with the

least bit of starlight and an oil lamp; one able to be like that

least bit of starlight and an oil lamp; one able to be like that

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broken heron's bill that, if only it falls onto the soil, will grow

broken heron's bill that, if only it falls onto the soil, will grow

roots and blossom, and if unfortunately falling onto a

roots and blossom, and if unfortunately falling onto a

reinforced concrete surface, still would hope for rainfall, and

reinforced concrete surface, still would hope for rainfall, and

even if flushed into a ditch, still could wade ashore and grow,

even if flushed into a ditch, still could wade ashore and grow,

and in the case of misfortune, then let nature take its course.

and in the case of misfortune, then let nature take its course.

Translated from author's manuscript, published below.

Translated from author's manuscript, published below.

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入土为安

入土为安

言西早

言西早

(一)

(一)

阿妈的声音从电话里传出来,低沉清晰:你阿婆已经半

阿妈的声音从电话里传出来,低沉清晰:你阿婆已经半

年没有下过床了,身体精神都不大好,你有空就回家一

年没有下过床了,身体精神都不大好,你有空就回家一

趟;实在没空的话,过年时要务必回来。

趟;实在没空的话,过年时要务必回来。

我是阿婆带大的,总听别人那样提起,可我却丝毫

我是阿婆带大的,总听别人那样提起,可我却丝毫

没有印象,总感觉自己一夜之间就长大了。如今漂泊在

没有印象,总感觉自己一夜之间就长大了。如今漂泊在

外,时常想起很多往事,也会习惯性地沿着时间轴逆向

外,时常想起很多往事,也会习惯性地沿着时间轴逆向

回忆,想将过往的点点滴滴都刻上年日,我记得阿婆晚

回忆,想将过往的点点滴滴都刻上年日,我记得阿婆晚

上给我讲鬼故事,不过那已是懂事记事的年龄了。

上给我讲鬼故事,不过那已是懂事记事的年龄了。

在我印象里,阿婆一直都是老脾性,一生节俭,整

在我印象里,阿婆一直都是老脾性,一生节俭,整

个人瘦得皮包骨,身上骨头和关节异常清晰突兀,背老

个人瘦得皮包骨,身上骨头和关节异常清晰突兀,背老

早就伸不直了,走路时却不喜欢拄拐杖。阿婆的穿着一

早就伸不直了,走路时却不喜欢拄拐杖。阿婆的穿着一

直都是旧式的立领斜襟直盘扣样式,至少我是从来没有

直都是旧式的立领斜襟直盘扣样式,至少我是从来没有

见她穿过其他样式的,深蓝色的衣服洗得发白变薄,穿

见她穿过其他样式的,深蓝色的衣服洗得发白变薄,穿

在阿婆身上,却出奇地合适,带着些韵味。

在阿婆身上,却出奇地合适,带着些韵味。

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阿婆总喜欢坐在巷子里乘凉,只要挨着她坐下,她

阿婆总喜欢坐在巷子里乘凉,只要挨着她坐下,她

就会不自觉地给我摇扇子。是了,蒲葵扇,阿婆还领我

就会不自觉地给我摇扇子。是了,蒲葵扇,阿婆还领我

做过葵扇,把蒲葵叶砍下来,拖回家后,拿砖块压平,

做过葵扇,把蒲葵叶砍下来,拖回家后,拿砖块压平,

放到太阳底下暴晒,晒干定型后就可以裁成桃心形状,

放到太阳底下暴晒,晒干定型后就可以裁成桃心形状,

削好扇柄的粗细长短,打磨圆滑,最后就剩包边了。阿

削好扇柄的粗细长短,打磨圆滑,最后就剩包边了。阿

婆把家里所有的布头都摆出来,让我挑个喜欢的花色,

婆把家里所有的布头都摆出来,让我挑个喜欢的花色,

裁好比扇沿稍长的布条,就仔细地沿扇叶边缝好,这

裁好比扇沿稍长的布条,就仔细地沿扇叶边缝好,这

样,扇子就大功告成了。

样,扇子就大功告成了。

尽管阿婆老了,头发白了,背弯了,但我依然无法

尽管阿婆老了,头发白了,背弯了,但我依然无法

想象她会变得更老而且将要死去。我以为她会一直在那

想象她会变得更老而且将要死去。我以为她会一直在那

里,坐在那条小巷里,摇着葵扇,等我回家。

里,坐在那条小巷里,摇着葵扇,等我回家。

我当然清楚阿妈话里有话,她没有说出口的是:你

我当然清楚阿妈话里有话,她没有说出口的是:你

阿婆已时日无多了,能熬过年已是大限,你得回家跟她

阿婆已时日无多了,能熬过年已是大限,你得回家跟她

道别。

道别。

我顿时伤感起来,城市的霓虹灯闪烁,人却像沟渠

我顿时伤感起来,城市的霓虹灯闪烁,人却像沟渠

下的青苔,在阴暗里无边际地蔓延。我淡忘了很多人很

下的青苔,在阴暗里无边际地蔓延。我淡忘了很多人很

多事,忘了儿时住过的带天井的老屋,忘了夏夜里的蛙

多事,忘了儿时住过的带天井的老屋,忘了夏夜里的蛙

叫和星辰密布的夜空,甚至忘了儿时玩伴的面容。

叫和星辰密布的夜空,甚至忘了儿时玩伴的面容。

阿婆不识字,但是却是一本活日历,她能清楚地记

阿婆不识字,但是却是一本活日历,她能清楚地记

得老黄历上的每一个日子,不说清明冬至这些大节气,

得老黄历上的每一个日子,不说清明冬至这些大节气,

要祭拜庆祝的日子她一个都不撂下。每逢初一十五亲人

要祭拜庆祝的日子她一个都不撂下。每逢初一十五亲人

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生祭死祭,她总一大早就嚷嚷着买东西祭拜,而那天飞

生祭死祭,她总一大早就嚷嚷着买东西祭拜,而那天飞

到家里的蜓蝶飞蛾,是亲人灵魂的化身,等吃饱了香

到家里的蜓蝶飞蛾,是亲人灵魂的化身,等吃饱了香

火,再捉到院里去放生。

火,再捉到院里去放生。

我记得刚学了闰年那会儿,缠着给阿婆算哪年是闰

我记得刚学了闰年那会儿,缠着给阿婆算哪年是闰

年。阿婆说,我可看不懂你的题,不过今年闰三月,就

年。阿婆说,我可看不懂你的题,不过今年闰三月,就

是过完一个三月,还有一个三月。那时我特别不理解为

是过完一个三月,还有一个三月。那时我特别不理解为

什么一年里会有两个三月,完全没有意识到所谓闰年是

什么一年里会有两个三月,完全没有意识到所谓闰年是

指阳历中二月有二十九日的年份,而阿婆所指的闰月却

指阳历中二月有二十九日的年份,而阿婆所指的闰月却

是老黄历的算法。

是老黄历的算法。

之后有一年回家过年,阿婆在灶头前烧柴煮饭,我

之后有一年回家过年,阿婆在灶头前烧柴煮饭,我

在边上等着烤番薯。阿婆边往灶里添柴边跟我念叨,末

在边上等着烤番薯。阿婆边往灶里添柴边跟我念叨,末

了说了句,今年闰二月,第二个闰二月的年了,是好年

了说了句,今年闰二月,第二个闰二月的年了,是好年

啊。你今年能过两个生日,以后百年里也遇不上了。那

啊。你今年能过两个生日,以后百年里也遇不上了。那

年我只记得第一个二月,还是阿妈打电话过来提醒我

年我只记得第一个二月,还是阿妈打电话过来提醒我

的,之后的那个闰二月,或许就只有阿婆记在了心里。

的,之后的那个闰二月,或许就只有阿婆记在了心里。

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(二)

(二)

故土依然车水马龙繁华如昔,家里也还是旧模样,只是

故土依然车水马龙繁华如昔,家里也还是旧模样,只是

墙角的青苔更甚了,院里的旧时那株最不起眼的小种粉

墙角的青苔更甚了,院里的旧时那株最不起眼的小种粉

色玫瑰竟然活了下来,已过肩高,枝繁叶茂,我能想象

色玫瑰竟然活了下来,已过肩高,枝繁叶茂,我能想象

它夏天盛开时的灿烂。小时候我喜欢养花,阿婆去串门

它夏天盛开时的灿烂。小时候我喜欢养花,阿婆去串门

时总不忘记给我要来秧苗和分株,挖回塘泥种下,玫瑰

时总不忘记给我要来秧苗和分株,挖回塘泥种下,玫瑰

和菊花种得最好。如今,芳华难寻,只剩墙角根下那几

和菊花种得最好。如今,芳华难寻,只剩墙角根下那几

个缺边少角的破瓦花盆,其中一个还有半盆泥,里面长

个缺边少角的破瓦花盆,其中一个还有半盆泥,里面长

了株太阳花。最容易活的花,只要折下一株插进土里,

了株太阳花。最容易活的花,只要折下一株插进土里,

就能生根,花不起眼,拇指甲大小,五瓣,单一的红

就能生根,花不起眼,拇指甲大小,五瓣,单一的红

色。

色。 阿 妈还 养着 下蛋 的母鸡 ,在院里觅食 ,咕咕 地叫

阿妈还 养着下 蛋的母鸡 ,在 院里觅食 ,咕咕地叫

着。厨房的墙壁横梁熏得老黑,灶头上摆着祭灶神的供

着。厨房的墙壁横梁熏得老黑,灶头上摆着祭灶神的供

品,香炉里插着三根香,乳白的烟婀娜地往上飘,午后

品,香炉里插着三根香,乳白的烟婀娜地往上飘,午后

的阳光从天窗里透了进来,尘埃在光线里飞舞。阿妈张

的阳光从天窗里透了进来,尘埃在光线里飞舞。阿妈张

罗着给我热饭煮菜,锅里炖着的红烧肉早已发出诱人的

罗着给我热饭煮菜,锅里炖着的红烧肉早已发出诱人的

香味。

香味。

儿时的年,炮仗从早到晚噼里啪啦的响着,家家户

儿时的年,炮仗从早到晚噼里啪啦的响着,家家户

户的门前地面铺满了红色炮仗纸片儿,年歌走街串巷地

户的门前地面铺满了红色炮仗纸片儿,年歌走街串巷地

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唱着,大人们忙着准备过年的菜肴,小孩期待着年三十

唱着,大人们忙着准备过年的菜肴,小孩期待着年三十

的新衣服和压岁钱,盼着能快点长大。

的新衣服和压岁钱,盼着能快点长大。

而今已是年三十了,但家里的年味并不浓,空气里

而今已是年三十了,但家里的年味并不浓,空气里

透着凝重和哀伤,就连说话也似乎要捏着喉咙压住声

透着凝重和哀伤,就连说话也似乎要捏着喉咙压住声

音,生怕惊扰了隔壁的病人。

音,生怕惊扰了隔壁的病人。

团聚,似乎就是为了永久的离别。

团聚,似乎就是为了永久的离别。

从下 午到家 直至晚上临睡 前,我无数 次经过 她房

从下午 到家直至 晚上临睡前,我无 数次经过 她房

间,无数次想象她的模样,也曾担心她是否还认得我,

间,无数次想象她的模样,也曾担心她是否还认得我,

她会跟我说些什么,可是我却胆怯了,脚步踌躇。

她会跟我说些什么,可是我却胆怯了,脚步踌躇。

不知她是否还记得,父母不在家时的那些夜晚,她

不知她是否还记得,父母不在家时的那些夜晚,她

哄我睡觉,给我讲故事。对于过去,她是怀念的,无论

哄我睡觉,给我讲故事。对于过去,她是怀念的,无论

人和事。她的世界充满幻想和离奇色彩,生活的艰苦都

人和事。她的世界充满幻想和离奇色彩,生活的艰苦都

被轻描淡写,变成了留恋世俗的妖魔鬼怪。

被轻描淡写,变成了留恋世俗的妖魔鬼怪。

其中一个故事,是树林里的鬼打墙。家里没有吃的

其中一个故事,是树林里的鬼打墙。家里没有吃的

了,阿婆用背带把三个月大的父亲绑到背上,去走亲

了,阿婆用背带把三个月大的父亲绑到背上,去走亲

戚。回来时天色已晚,肩上扛着半袋番薯和怀里抱着一

戚。回来时天色已晚,肩上扛着半袋番薯和怀里抱着一

点米,背上还有父亲,满心欢喜地一脚深一脚浅地往家

点米,背上还有父亲,满心欢喜地一脚深一脚浅地往家

赶。经过一片树林时,却走不出来了,来来回回地在林

赶。经过一片树林时,却走不出来了,来来回回地在林

子里打转绕圈。阿婆说,那是撞到调皮鬼了,夜里寂

子里打转绕圈。阿婆说,那是撞到调皮鬼了,夜里寂

寞,跟路人玩游戏。就在那个夜晚,阿婆走走停停,陪

寞,跟路人玩游戏。就在那个夜晚,阿婆走走停停,陪

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着无主的孤魂野鬼绕树林,直到早上的第一束光线照进

着无主的孤魂野鬼绕树林,直到早上的第一束光线照进

树林,才找到回家的路。

树林,才找到回家的路。

阿婆藏着许多秘密,每当夜里经过她房间时,我总

阿婆藏着许多秘密,每当夜里经过她房间时,我总

能听到她喃喃自语的声音,像是在跟谁说着什么,只是

能听到她喃喃自语的声音,像是在跟谁说着什么,只是

有时候声音不带着感情,而且连续不断的,在寂静的夜

有时候声音不带着感情,而且连续不断的,在寂静的夜

里显得格外渗人。

里显得格外渗人。

那时候我很小,不经事,尽管害怕,但我夜里还是

那时候我很小,不经事,尽管害怕,但我夜里还是

爬了起来,想方设法地想弄明白阿婆是跟谁说话。我竖

爬了起来,想方设法地想弄明白阿婆是跟谁说话。我竖

着耳朵趴在门缝下面偷听,无果后偷溜出家门绕到外墙

着耳朵趴在门缝下面偷听,无果后偷溜出家门绕到外墙

的窗口下,入耳的像是加密的天书,完全听不懂。直到

的窗口下,入耳的像是加密的天书,完全听不懂。直到

现在,我也没能窥探到阿婆的秘密,她将会带着她的秘

现在,我也没能窥探到阿婆的秘密,她将会带着她的秘

密长眠。

密长眠。

我披衣起床,来在阿婆房门前坐下,被病魔折磨的

我披衣起床,来在阿婆房门前坐下,被病魔折磨的

呻吟清晰地传出来。我无法想象死亡是怎样的,或许对

呻吟清晰地传出来。我无法想象死亡是怎样的,或许对

活着的人来说,最强烈的感情最终也会淡,留下的只是

活着的人来说,最强烈的感情最终也会淡,留下的只是

一些感慨和怀念而已,清明时节的扫墓也只是一种精神

一些感慨和怀念而已,清明时节的扫墓也只是一种精神

的寄托和人性的本能。

的寄托和人性的本能。

前些日子请来的医生,也已告知家里长辈,除了打

前些日子请来的医生,也已告知家里长辈,除了打

点滴给些止痛药,剩下的就是熬时间了。阿爸阿妈都尽

点滴给些止痛药,剩下的就是熬时间了。阿爸阿妈都尽

力伺候着,但阿婆已经咽不下东西,就连喝汤水也困

力伺候着,但阿婆已经咽不下东西,就连喝汤水也困

难。

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家里也早已做了安排。尽管政府已下达通知,规定

家里也早已做了安排。尽管政府已下达通知,规定

一律火葬,但父母大伯商量后决定要遵循传统土葬法,

一律火葬,但父母大伯商量后决定要遵循传统土葬法,

让老人家入土为安。只要棺材入土,死者为大,没人敢

让老人家入土为安。只要棺材入土,死者为大,没人敢

掘土起墓,打扰死者的安息。

掘土起墓,打扰死者的安息。

(三)

(三)

这时节的冬日天空阴沉,飘起了牛毛细雨,寒冷入骨。

这时节的冬日天空阴沉,飘起了牛毛细雨,寒冷入骨。

阿婆的房间阴暗寒潮,一进去,一阵霉味尿骚味直呛神

阿婆的房间阴暗寒潮,一进去,一阵霉味尿骚味直呛神

经,微弱昏暗的阳光无法照透支在角落里的暗色蚊帐,

经,微弱昏暗的阳光无法照透支在角落里的暗色蚊帐,

下面罩着一张破旧的床,一床脚已经被砖块替换,床底

下面罩着一张破旧的床,一床脚已经被砖块替换,床底

放着两个大木箱,旁边还有个尿盆。窗户紧闭着,挡住

放着两个大木箱,旁边还有个尿盆。窗户紧闭着,挡住

了光线,却挡不住刺骨的寒冷。

了光线,却挡不住刺骨的寒冷。

阿妈挂起帐子,厚重的棉被下稍稍隆起,辨不出人

阿妈挂起帐子,厚重的棉被下稍稍隆起,辨不出人

形。直到阿妈拉低棉被,我眼泪就下来了,我的阿婆,

形。直到阿妈拉低棉被,我眼泪就下来了,我的阿婆,

像夏天里蝉褪下的躯壳,没有了灵魂,只剩个空皮囊,

像夏天里蝉褪下的躯壳,没有了灵魂,只剩个空皮囊,

裹着一副人形骨架,直直地挺在那里。

裹着一副人形骨架,直直地挺在那里。

长年累月的卧床让她无比虚弱,她自己已无法坐起

长年累月的卧床让她无比虚弱,她自己已无法坐起

来了,阿妈双手扶起她,让她靠在身上。借着从窗外透

来了,阿妈双手扶起她,让她靠在身上。借着从窗外透

进来的光,她眼里充满疑惑,嘴里哼哼着,却吐不出一

进来的光,她眼里充满疑惑,嘴里哼哼着,却吐不出一

句清晰的话,她的手吃力地伸至前方摸索着,我轻轻地

句清晰的话,她的手吃力地伸至前方摸索着,我轻轻地

抓住了,突兀的骨头里透出骇人的冰冷,干枯无力。

抓住了,突兀的骨头里透出骇人的冰冷,干枯无力。

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都说,老死是一种福气。但活死人般的活着,眼睛

都说,老死是一种福气。但活死人般的活着,眼睛

看不见了,耳朵也听不见了,喉咙里出来的声音毫无意

看不见了,耳朵也听不见了,喉咙里出来的声音毫无意

义可言,拖着一副松垮的皮囊,活着似乎就剩下那缓慢

义可言,拖着一副松垮的皮囊,活着似乎就剩下那缓慢

的喘息和被病痛折磨的呻吟,如此苟延残喘,何福之

的喘息和被病痛折磨的呻吟,如此苟延残喘,何福之

有?生命如此丑陋。

有?生命如此丑陋。

死亡如期而至。村子里静悄悄的,万物似乎都沉睡

死亡如期而至。村子里静悄悄的,万物似乎都沉睡

了,这个夜晚显得格外长,时间像个年迈的老人,正在

了,这个夜晚显得格外长,时间像个年迈的老人,正在

跨越那道生死鸿沟。暗淡的灯光,跳动的火苗,厨房外

跨越那道生死鸿沟。暗淡的灯光,跳动的火苗,厨房外

面是黑暗寒冷的夜。

面是黑暗寒冷的夜。

黑夜里,一部小型货车悄然无声地停在家门前,来

黑夜里,一部小型货车悄然无声地停在家门前,来

人跟父亲打声招呼后就走进了阿婆的房间,粗鲁地拆掉

人跟父亲打声招呼后就走进了阿婆的房间,粗鲁地拆掉

了帐子,卷着被子枕头,扔在地面;再一脚踹散了床

了帐子,卷着被子枕头,扔在地面;再一脚踹散了床

架,扛起床架床板出来,哐的一声给抛进了车厢里,那

架,扛起床架床板出来,哐的一声给抛进了车厢里,那

声响在夜里显得刺耳无情。

声响在夜里显得刺耳无情。

这些东西都会怎么处理?父亲问了一声。

这些东西都会怎么处理?父亲问了一声。

死人的东西不吉利,都会烧掉。那人头也没抬,粗

死人的东西不吉利,都会烧掉。那人头也没抬,粗

声粗气地应了一声。

声粗气地应了一声。

我看不清那人的脸,他说话很快,声音硬邦邦的。

我看不清那人的脸,他说话很快,声音硬邦邦的。

他可能已经做了无数同样的事,他可能已经习惯了在黑

他可能已经做了无数同样的事,他可能已经习惯了在黑

夜里工作,他懂得这行的规则,他可能已经贿赂了些官

夜里工作,他懂得这行的规则,他可能已经贿赂了些官

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员以便行事,毕竟入土为安是老一辈的传统,律法给传

员以便行事,毕竟入土为安是老一辈的传统,律法给传

统让道,闭一只眼,也是常理。

统让道,闭一只眼,也是常理。

负责敛埋的人来了,也是开着小型货车,从车后厢

负责敛埋的人来了,也是开着小型货车,从车后厢

里扛出一副木棺材,穿过院子,摆在大厅里。敛埋死者

里扛出一副木棺材,穿过院子,摆在大厅里。敛埋死者

是要遵循一定的仪式,要掩去死时的狰狞和苦痛,示意

是要遵循一定的仪式,要掩去死时的狰狞和苦痛,示意

生前种种都烟消云散,以安详的面目慰藉活着的亲人,

生前种种都烟消云散,以安详的面目慰藉活着的亲人,

亲人则以繁琐的礼节厚葬,向世人昭示他们心里的悲伤

亲人则以繁琐的礼节厚葬,向世人昭示他们心里的悲伤

和敬重。

和敬重。

在厨房候了一会儿,敛埋师就让家属进去跟阿婆跪

在厨房候了一会儿,敛埋师就让家属进去跟阿婆跪

拜告别。敛埋师嘴里一直念念有词,示意我走上前,用

拜告别。敛埋师嘴里一直念念有词,示意我走上前,用

右手碰触我的额头,然后递给我一个红包压惊,低下头

右手碰触我的额头,然后递给我一个红包压惊,低下头

在我耳边轻声说:拿着这个。别怕,那是你阿婆,去给

在我耳边轻声说:拿着这个。别怕,那是你阿婆,去给

她叩三个头,跟她告别。

她叩三个头,跟她告别。

我手里紧紧拽着衣角,眼睛却直直地盯着棺木里的

我手里紧紧拽着衣角,眼睛却直直地盯着棺木里的

人。棺木不大,四周嵌着深色的花纹棉布,阿婆就静静

人。棺木不大,四周嵌着深色的花纹棉布,阿婆就静静

地躺在里面,不显拥挤。她像是睡着了,很安详,病容

地躺在里面,不显拥挤。她像是睡着了,很安详,病容

已从脸上褪去,穿着深色棉衣,双手叠在腹上,腰下盖

已从脸上褪去,穿着深色棉衣,双手叠在腹上,腰下盖

着深色被子。

着深色被子。

北风吹过,带起一丝白发,落在她的眼睛和脸上,

北风吹过,带起一丝白发,落在她的眼睛和脸上,

她却不需要再理会了,再也不受躯体和这尘世的困扰

她却不需要再理会了,再也不受躯体和这尘世的困扰

了,她将会被永远地埋在黑暗的黄土里。

了,她将会被永远地埋在黑暗的黄土里。

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棺木很快就被盖上,用钉子封住,在黑夜掩护下被

棺木很快就被盖上,用钉子封住,在黑夜掩护下被

悄悄地抬上车,离开的还有去认坟的父亲和大伯。空荡

悄悄地抬上车,离开的还有去认坟的父亲和大伯。空荡

荡的夜里只有些哽咽声,隐在了寒风的咆哮里。

荡的夜里只有些哽咽声,隐在了寒风的咆哮里。

记得年幼时,每到清明时节,扫墓总是很有趣的旅

记得年幼时,每到清明时节,扫墓总是很有趣的旅

程,郊外刚长起来的青草里铺满红色的炮竹纸片儿,隆

程,郊外刚长起来的青草里铺满红色的炮竹纸片儿,隆

起的坟墓密密麻麻地挨着,大部分都不立碑,扫错坟的

起的坟墓密密麻麻地挨着,大部分都不立碑,扫错坟的

不在少数,有一些孤坟像被遗忘了,野草年年岁岁地长

不在少数,有一些孤坟像被遗忘了,野草年年岁岁地长

着,从没有人来凭吊过。

着,从没有人来凭吊过。

入土为安,我不懂它的涵义。数十年后,棺木会腐

入土为安,我不懂它的涵义。数十年后,棺木会腐

朽成泥,剩下的只有头颅躯干和四肢的白骨。我是不愿

朽成泥,剩下的只有头颅躯干和四肢的白骨。我是不愿

躺在那样狭小的黑盒子里,被掩埋在荒郊野岭,被时间

躺在那样狭小的黑盒子里,被掩埋在荒郊野岭,被时间

遗忘,被黑暗腐蚀,被虫兽吞噬。与死人为伴,耳边却

遗忘,被黑暗腐蚀,被虫兽吞噬。与死人为伴,耳边却

还萦绕着活人诉苦求庇护。

还萦绕着活人诉苦求庇护。

那天夜里,我坐在厨房的灶头前,柴火烧得很旺,

那天夜里,我坐在厨房的灶头前,柴火烧得很旺,

哭累后我睡着了,做了个梦。梦里是夏天,阿婆穿着单

哭累后我睡着了,做了个梦。梦里是夏天,阿婆穿着单

衣在前面走着,我紧紧地跟随其后,两旁种满了甘蔗,

衣在前面走着,我紧紧地跟随其后,两旁种满了甘蔗,

风吹得哗哗做响。阿婆弯着腰走得很慢,我想叫住她,

风吹得哗哗做响。阿婆弯着腰走得很慢,我想叫住她,

却怎么也跑不上前去,她似乎也听不见我的叫喊,还是

却怎么也跑不上前去,她似乎也听不见我的叫喊,还是

慢慢地向前走着。从白天走到夜里,看到那起起伏伏的

慢慢地向前走着。从白天走到夜里,看到那起起伏伏的

小山丘,我忽然意识到,这里是墓地。我跟在她后面一

小山丘,我忽然意识到,这里是墓地。我跟在她后面一

圈又一圈地绕,没有出路。我想起了阿婆的鬼打墙故

圈又一圈地绕,没有出路。我想起了阿婆的鬼打墙故

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事,只要天亮了,我们就能绕出去,就能回家了。等到

事,只要天亮了,我们就能绕出去,就能回家了。等到

第一束光线照过来,阿婆却消失了,空荡荡的天地只剩

第一束光线照过来,阿婆却消失了,空荡荡的天地只剩

下我一个人,我突然间明白了,这是永远的离别。

下我一个人,我突然间明白了,这是永远的离别。

之后 的斋事 也做了一天一 夜,从以前 戏外看 热闹

之后的 斋事也做 了一天一夜,从以 前戏外看 热闹

的,变成了披麻戴孝的。小时候不明白做斋事是怎么一

的,变成了披麻戴孝的。小时候不明白做斋事是怎么一

回事,只觉得有好看好玩的,敲锣打鼓,耍杂技演大

回事,只觉得有好看好玩的,敲锣打鼓,耍杂技演大

戏,很热闹。最震撼的是接近尾声时烧金银元宝金屋银

戏,很热闹。最震撼的是接近尾声时烧金银元宝金屋银

屋,花花绿绿的“奢侈”都化作腾飞的火,直扑云霄。最不

屋,花花绿绿的“奢侈”都化作腾飞的火,直扑云霄。最不

能理解的是哭丧,明明是陌路人,却哭得眼泪鼻涕一起

能理解的是哭丧,明明是陌路人,却哭得眼泪鼻涕一起

来,哭声震耳欲聋,嘴里还念念有词地唱着。后来才明

来,哭声震耳欲聋,嘴里还念念有词地唱着。后来才明

白,那是请来哭丧的,是传统。

白,那是请来哭丧的,是传统。

(四)

(四)

很多年后,我再次回到阿婆的坟头前,突然间想明白了

很多年后,我再次回到阿婆的坟头前,突然间想明白了

很多事情。入土或者火葬,最终都会成为虚无,对于了

很多事情。入土或者火葬,最终都会成为虚无,对于了

无世俗束缚的人,沧海桑田,时间已然无所谓。而对于

无世俗束缚的人,沧海桑田,时间已然无所谓。而对于

俗人来说,那个最后的栖息地,会让某人不辞万里之外

俗人来说,那个最后的栖息地,会让某人不辞万里之外

归来,悼念,然后释然。

归来,悼念,然后释然。

我希望可以成为那样一个人,长在阴暗贫瘠的墙角

我希望可以成为那样一个人,长在阴暗贫瘠的墙角

里,却能满足于一缕清风半晌明月;能脱离城市的形形

里,却能满足于一缕清风半晌明月;能脱离城市的形形

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色色,安然于半点星光一盏油灯的夜里;能像那株被折

色色,安然于半点星光一盏油灯的夜里;能像那株被折

断的太阳花,只要落到泥土里,就能生根开花,不幸落

断的太阳花,只要落到泥土里,就能生根开花,不幸落

在钢筋水泥地面,也能寄望一场雨,即便冲进了沟渠

在钢筋水泥地面,也能寄望一场雨,即便冲进了沟渠

里,也能涉水而生,如果不幸,那就顺其自然吧。

里,也能涉水而生,如果不幸,那就顺其自然吧。

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The Circle: A Review of Yan Xi Zao's

The Circle: A Review of Yan Xi Zao's

“Buried in Peace”

“Buried in Peace”

by Lu Wei

by Lu Wei

My understanding of ru tu wei an (入土为安) is, if the dead

My understanding of ru tu wei an (入土为安) is, if the dead

have been buried properly in a suitable ritual, being offered a

have been buried properly in a suitable ritual, being offered a

place for the soul to stay, they will feel peaceful and will not

place for the soul to stay, they will feel peaceful and will not

disturb the alive. From this perspective, it seems that the

disturb the alive. From this perspective, it seems that the

living provide peace to the dead. However, “Buried in Peace”

living provide peace to the dead. However, “Buried in Peace”

analyzes it from a different point of view: since the dead have

analyzes it from a different point of view: since the dead have

become nothingness, burial or cremation does not matter to

become nothingness, burial or cremation does not matter to

them. When the family insists on burying them, it is because

them. When the family insists on burying them, it is because

“their final resting place in the ground would allow someone

“their final resting place in the ground would allow someone

from thousands of miles away to come back to mourn, then

from thousands of miles away to come back to mourn, then

feel relieved.” Actually it is the living who need a sense of

feel relieved.” Actually it is the living who need a sense of

calm offered by the deceased ancestors so they can gain

calm offered by the deceased ancestors so they can gain

courage to move on.

courage to move on.

In order to illustrate this point, “Buried in Peace” draws a

In order to illustrate this point, “Buried in Peace” draws a

striking contrast between the life of the past and that of the

striking contrast between the life of the past and that of the

present. In the past, the narrator's grandma is her god who

present. In the past, the narrator's grandma is her god who

created for her a fairyland in which to spend her happy

created for her a fairyland in which to spend her happy

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childhood, but in the present, she is left alone to face the

childhood, but in the present, she is left alone to face the

death of her grandma, the ugly life, and the cold outside

death of her grandma, the ugly life, and the cold outside

world. Life is the same, whether past or present, full of pain

world. Life is the same, whether past or present, full of pain

and misery. However, with her grandma’s presence, life is not

and misery. However, with her grandma’s presence, life is not

the same, for it has already been decorated as a paradise.

the same, for it has already been decorated as a paradise.

According to Chinese tradition, the older generation, when

According to Chinese tradition, the older generation, when

alive, sacrifice everything for the younger generation, and

alive, sacrifice everything for the younger generation, and

even after death, they are still the emotional anchor of their

even after death, they are still the emotional anchor of their

descendants: listening to complaints before their memorial

descendants: listening to complaints before their memorial

tablet, being asked to give blessing in times of need, and so

tablet, being asked to give blessing in times of need, and so

forth. In return, the younger generation will be obedient to the

forth. In return, the younger generation will be obedient to the

older generation and keep the custom of worshiping the

older generation and keep the custom of worshiping the

ancestors. We see this with the grandma of “Buried in Peace,”

ancestors. We see this with the grandma of “Buried in Peace,”

who would observe the family rituals “on the first and the

who would observe the family rituals “on the first and the

fifteenth of the month and on dates of the birth and death of

fifteenth of the month and on dates of the birth and death of

family members” – “on that day dragonflies, butterflies, and

family members” – “on that day dragonflies, butterflies, and

moths that had flown into the house were considered to be the

moths that had flown into the house were considered to be the

reincarnation of the souls of relatives, and after having gotten

reincarnation of the souls of relatives, and after having gotten

their fill of incense, they would be caught and set free in the

their fill of incense, they would be caught and set free in the

yard.” On the other hand, the deceased ancestors would get an

yard.” On the other hand, the deceased ancestors would get an

eternal life in the memorial ceremony for generations.

eternal life in the memorial ceremony for generations.

“Buried in Peace” describes for us an industrious

“Buried in Peace” describes for us an industrious

grandma who swallowed all her sorrow and conceived a

grandma who swallowed all her sorrow and conceived a

beautiful world for her granddaughter. This reminds me of my

beautiful world for her granddaughter. This reminds me of my

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grandma and my childhood. My grandma, short and thin, with

grandma and my childhood. My grandma, short and thin, with

bound feet, wearing old-style clothes, always kept clean and

bound feet, wearing old-style clothes, always kept clean and

comported herself with dignity. She also waved a fan for me

comported herself with dignity. She also waved a fan for me

on summer nights and made all kinds of toys to make up for

on summer nights and made all kinds of toys to make up for

the shortage of material goods in my childhood. In my

the shortage of material goods in my childhood. In my

memory, she had a lot of secrets as well. She was a child

memory, she had a lot of secrets as well. She was a child

bride and lost her husband in her middle age. She gave birth

bride and lost her husband in her middle age. She gave birth

to more than ten children, but in order to survive she had to

to more than ten children, but in order to survive she had to

give her twin baby boys to others. Besides household chores,

give her twin baby boys to others. Besides household chores,

she did all kinds of odd jobs, such as being a nurse in the rich

she did all kinds of odd jobs, such as being a nurse in the rich

families, babysitting the neighbor’s kids, and other various

families, babysitting the neighbor’s kids, and other various

sorts of hard work. She never stopped working until she

sorts of hard work. She never stopped working until she

suffered from paralysis during the last five years of her life.

suffered from paralysis during the last five years of her life.

However, I could hardly find a trace of the hardship left on

However, I could hardly find a trace of the hardship left on

her. Her hair was always combed smoothly, and her clothes

her. Her hair was always combed smoothly, and her clothes

were always clean and fit. She could even calculate and read.

were always clean and fit. She could even calculate and read.

Life’s difficulties seemed to touch lightly upon her. Like the

Life’s difficulties seemed to touch lightly upon her. Like the

humble flower, the heron’s bill, no matter where fate took her,

humble flower, the heron’s bill, no matter where fate took her,

she could grow roots and blossom.

she could grow roots and blossom.

My daughter was also brought up by her grandma. When

My daughter was also brought up by her grandma. When

I talked with her about her grandma, I surprisingly found that

I talked with her about her grandma, I surprisingly found that

all Chinese grandmas are the same: accepting whatever life

all Chinese grandmas are the same: accepting whatever life

gives them, enduring all sufferings peacefully, and trying to

gives them, enduring all sufferings peacefully, and trying to

show their best side to the outside. Instead of complaining

show their best side to the outside. Instead of complaining

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about the unfairness of life, they speak of a better world for

about the unfairness of life, they speak of a better world for

the posterity who will be brave enough to confront the

the posterity who will be brave enough to confront the

toughness in the future life. It seems that we have been in the

toughness in the future life. It seems that we have been in the

circle of a ghost maze for thousands of years, internalizing

circle of a ghost maze for thousands of years, internalizing

our grandmas’ life philosophy by observation and imitation,

our grandmas’ life philosophy by observation and imitation,

from one generation to the next generation. The bonds

from one generation to the next generation. The bonds

between us are very strong. The time here has become

between us are very strong. The time here has become

meaningless, because the present is rooted in the past, they

meaningless, because the present is rooted in the past, they

are mingled. The question of who provides peace for whom

are mingled. The question of who provides peace for whom

does not matter at all, because we are inseparable.

does not matter at all, because we are inseparable.

I can feel my grandma’s blood running through my vein. I also hope, as the narrator does, that

I can feel my grandma’s blood running through my vein. I also hope, as the narrator does, that

“I can become that person who can grow in the dark and

“I can become that person who can grow in the dark and

barren corner, yet be satisfied with a wisp of quiet wind

barren corner, yet be satisfied with a wisp of quiet wind

and a half moment of moonlight; one able to detach from

and a half moment of moonlight; one able to detach from

all shades of the city, and feel peace in a night with the

all shades of the city, and feel peace in a night with the

least bit of starlight and an oil lamp; one able to be like

least bit of starlight and an oil lamp; one able to be like

that broken heron's bill that, if only it falls onto the soil,

that broken heron's bill that, if only it falls onto the soil,

will grow roots and blossom, and if unfortunately falling

will grow roots and blossom, and if unfortunately falling

onto a reinforced concrete surface, still would hope for

onto a reinforced concrete surface, still would hope for

rainfall, and even if flushed into a ditch, still could wade

rainfall, and even if flushed into a ditch, still could wade

ashore and grow, and in the case of misfortune, then let

ashore and grow, and in the case of misfortune, then let

nature take its course.”

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Auto-Biographical Essays

Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 13, Nov., 2018

Auto-Biographical Essays

Self-analysis

Self-analysis

by Zhuang Jiamin

by Zhuang Jiamin

Part One

Part One

This morning I planned to go to the library. Before I went

This morning I planned to go to the library. Before I went

out, I thought I needed to take some money because I might

out, I thought I needed to take some money because I might

not go back home to have my lunch. But after going through

not go back home to have my lunch. But after going through

all my money at school, I needed to ask my parents for more.

all my money at school, I needed to ask my parents for more.

Instead of asking my mother directly, I was wandering

Instead of asking my mother directly, I was wandering

around home looking for my father's wallet. Unfortunately, I

around home looking for my father's wallet. Unfortunately, I

couldn't find it. Then my mother found me and said: What

couldn't find it. Then my mother found me and said: What

are you looking for? Why are you wandering? Are you

are you looking for? Why are you wandering? Are you

looking for money? This made me really embarrassed. I

looking for money? This made me really embarrassed. I

didn't know what to say. Then I said: Hmm... I was looking

didn't know what to say. Then I said: Hmm... I was looking

for… my card and… money.… I had a thought that I better

for… my card and… money.… I had a thought that I better

lie, but I couldn't because I couldn't go out if I had no money.

lie, but I couldn't because I couldn't go out if I had no money.

Then my mother gave me the money. And my father who

Then my mother gave me the money. And my father who

was sitting next to my mom said: Don't be scared, if you

was sitting next to my mom said: Don't be scared, if you

need money just ask me directly. And this made me even

need money just ask me directly. And this made me even

more embarrassed. Then I left home with my mind

more embarrassed. Then I left home with my mind

surrounded by a question: What was I doing? I could have

surrounded by a question: What was I doing? I could have

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just asked them for it directly. But this thought faded as soon

just asked them for it directly. But this thought faded as soon

as I got on the bus.

as I got on the bus.

Recently, when reading Hoffmann’s “The Sandman,”

Recently, when reading Hoffmann’s “The Sandman,”

the image of the old woman somehow reminded me of a

the image of the old woman somehow reminded me of a

book I had when I was in maybe second or third grade in

book I had when I was in maybe second or third grade in

primary school. I don't know where the book came from.

primary school. I don't know where the book came from.

Maybe it was from my dad or one of his staff. Or maybe the

Maybe it was from my dad or one of his staff. Or maybe the

book didn't exist. The book was not complete. And I can't

book didn't exist. The book was not complete. And I can't

remember most of the plot. A few things I can remember are

remember most of the plot. A few things I can remember are

the main character, a guy with many wives of many different

the main character, a guy with many wives of many different

talents and looking really beautiful. They helped the man

talents and looking really beautiful. They helped the man

with his career, which enabled him to become emperor or

with his career, which enabled him to become emperor or

something. If I read the book today, I would say it's just a

something. If I read the book today, I would say it's just a

stupid fancy. But it was nine-year-old-me who read it and, as

stupid fancy. But it was nine-year-old-me who read it and, as

the Sandman over Nathaniel, it has exerted the greatest

the Sandman over Nathaniel, it has exerted the greatest

influence over my life. My first encounter with sex was from

influence over my life. My first encounter with sex was from

that book. There was a portrait of the man having sex with

that book. There was a portrait of the man having sex with

the women beside the lake. And I barely remember what

the women beside the lake. And I barely remember what

specifically happened.

specifically happened.

I really enjoyed that book while I was living in a small

I really enjoyed that book while I was living in a small

cube into which only one bed can fit, together with my

cube into which only one bed can fit, together with my

nanny, next to the dormitory of the staff of my dad's garage.

nanny, next to the dormitory of the staff of my dad's garage.

I would say that was a box rather than a dorm. The ceiling

I would say that was a box rather than a dorm. The ceiling

was very low. You would hit your head if you didn't bend

was very low. You would hit your head if you didn't bend

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over. And they didn't seem to like light. It was dark most of

over. And they didn't seem to like light. It was dark most of

time, like a black box. My dad didn't like me to talk with

time, like a black box. My dad didn't like me to talk with

those guys. I never went in that other black box, though it's

those guys. I never went in that other black box, though it's

right next to my bed, only a wall between me and them.

right next to my bed, only a wall between me and them.

Sometimes I met with one of those guys at the door. The

Sometimes I met with one of those guys at the door. The

floor, made of cheap wood, creaked when they passed by,

floor, made of cheap wood, creaked when they passed by,

and made me really uncomfortable. So I usually waited for

and made me really uncomfortable. So I usually waited for

all of them to get out of that black box before I went out of

all of them to get out of that black box before I went out of

my cube.

my cube.

One day I lost my book. I tried to find it, but I just lost it.

One day I lost my book. I tried to find it, but I just lost it.

I don't remember how I felt at that time but gradually I

I don't remember how I felt at that time but gradually I

forgot it. Maybe that's when I started to like to read. From

forgot it. Maybe that's when I started to like to read. From

grade three to grade four, I read many famous books like

grade three to grade four, I read many famous books like

Oliver Twist, Anne of Green Gables, How the Steel Was

Oliver Twist, Anne of Green Gables, How the Steel Was

Tempered and others. Of those, the first book I think of is

Tempered and others. Of those, the first book I think of is

The Lady of the Camellias, because that lady is a beautiful

The Lady of the Camellias, because that lady is a beautiful

prostitute. The word plump, used to describe Marguerite,

prostitute. The word plump, used to describe Marguerite,

remains in my mind to this day.

remains in my mind to this day.

When I was in grade four, romantic fiction was

When I was in grade four, romantic fiction was

somehow very popular in school. Most of these were

somehow very popular in school. Most of these were

Cinderella stories. But there were always two men,

Cinderella stories. But there were always two men,

sometimes more, who loved the heroine. I quickly fell in

sometimes more, who loved the heroine. I quickly fell in

love with this genre. I read it all day long. But my dad didn't

love with this genre. I read it all day long. But my dad didn't

allow me to read it. He thought it was disgusting and

allow me to read it. He thought it was disgusting and

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unhealthy. And then our teacher found us too obsessed with

unhealthy. And then our teacher found us too obsessed with

this. She too banned us from reading it. I couldn't read it at

this. She too banned us from reading it. I couldn't read it at

school or at home. So I read it on the way home. I stood at

school or at home. So I read it on the way home. I stood at

the side of street reading those books. I always got home

the side of street reading those books. I always got home

very late because of that. So I had to make up excuses for

very late because of that. So I had to make up excuses for

my parents, like helping the teacher correct the papers or

my parents, like helping the teacher correct the papers or

decorate the classroom, something like that, to explain why I

decorate the classroom, something like that, to explain why I

was home so late. Sooner or later my father found out

was home so late. Sooner or later my father found out

something wrong with me. And he caught me

something wrong with me. And he caught me

I was reading a romantic fiction on one side of the street

I was reading a romantic fiction on one side of the street

and my father saw me from the other side. He gave me a

and my father saw me from the other side. He gave me a

signal to go home. I was not certain that my dad had noticed

signal to go home. I was not certain that my dad had noticed

that I was reading there. But I threw the book into the bushes,

that I was reading there. But I threw the book into the bushes,

thinking I could get it back when I went to school. After I

thinking I could get it back when I went to school. After I

got home, my father asked what I was reading there, and I

got home, my father asked what I was reading there, and I

said I hadn’t done anything there. My mother trusted me but

said I hadn’t done anything there. My mother trusted me but

my father didn't, though he couldn't find the book. After we

my father didn't, though he couldn't find the book. After we

had lunch my father threw the book in front of me and said

had lunch my father threw the book in front of me and said

to my mother: She lied. I felt so scared and nervous, and

to my mother: She lied. I felt so scared and nervous, and

really sorry for my mom. After that, my father caught me

really sorry for my mom. After that, my father caught me

many times while I was reading those books. Sometimes he

many times while I was reading those books. Sometimes he

would even sneak into my room for no reason just to check

would even sneak into my room for no reason just to check

if I was reading those, as he called them, disgusting novels.

if I was reading those, as he called them, disgusting novels.

The feeling I had while reading those books was not just a

The feeling I had while reading those books was not just a

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satisfaction of my fantasy, but a mixture of intention,

satisfaction of my fantasy, but a mixture of intention,

worries, and excitement.

worries, and excitement.

The worst was not that my father didn't allow me to read

The worst was not that my father didn't allow me to read

those books. It was that I didn't have money to buy them. A

those books. It was that I didn't have money to buy them. A

book would cost twenty-five yuan at that time. And my mom

book would cost twenty-five yuan at that time. And my mom

only gave me five yuan a day, which included the money for

only gave me five yuan a day, which included the money for

breakfast. I had read all my friend's collection. I wanted to

breakfast. I had read all my friend's collection. I wanted to

read more. So I stole my parents' money. My father caught

read more. So I stole my parents' money. My father caught

me several times, but I still stole it, until I found I could read

me several times, but I still stole it, until I found I could read

them on the Internet. Internet, what a great invention!

them on the Internet. Internet, what a great invention!

I came across a problem. We only had one computer at

I came across a problem. We only had one computer at

home. It was used for my father's business most of the time.

home. It was used for my father's business most of the time.

And I have three siblings, they wanted to play on the

And I have three siblings, they wanted to play on the

computer. So we had to use it in turns. Besides, the

computer. So we had to use it in turns. Besides, the

computer was placed in the living room, and I couldn't read

computer was placed in the living room, and I couldn't read

disgusting novels in front of them. So I came up with this

disgusting novels in front of them. So I came up with this

idea. Every night I set the alarm clock to wake me up at two

idea. Every night I set the alarm clock to wake me up at two

a.m. so I could use the computer from two o’clock to four or

a.m. so I could use the computer from two o’clock to four or

five, before my parents woke up. But if you usually walk

five, before my parents woke up. But if you usually walk

along the river, there's no chance you won't eventually get

along the river, there's no chance you won't eventually get

your shoes wet. Yes, my father caught me again. Usually my

your shoes wet. Yes, my father caught me again. Usually my

dad liked to lock his room, then he had to unlock the door if

dad liked to lock his room, then he had to unlock the door if

he wanted to go out, and this gave me time to react. I could

he wanted to go out, and this gave me time to react. I could

press the button to turn off the screen and hide beside the

press the button to turn off the screen and hide beside the

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fortune tree that was displayed in the living room. But damn,

fortune tree that was displayed in the living room. But damn,

I hit the chair. And my dad heard it. At first he thought it

I hit the chair. And my dad heard it. At first he thought it

was a thief, but turned out to be me. He touched the back of

was a thief, but turned out to be me. He touched the back of

the screen. It was hot. He turned on the screen. The web

the screen. It was hot. He turned on the screen. The web

page popped out. Now he knew everything. He motioned to

page popped out. Now he knew everything. He motioned to

me and sat down on the couch for a while, then he went back

me and sat down on the couch for a while, then he went back

to sleep. He didn't say much that time. But I thought he was

to sleep. He didn't say much that time. But I thought he was

really disappointed. I couldn't sleep. So I woke up my dad

really disappointed. I couldn't sleep. So I woke up my dad

and told him I wanted to talk with him. I promised him I

and told him I wanted to talk with him. I promised him I

wouldn't do it again. Did I stop waking up at midnight to

wouldn't do it again. Did I stop waking up at midnight to

read those books after that? Maybe. I don't remember. What

read those books after that? Maybe. I don't remember. What

I do remember is that I didn't have to wake up at midnight,

I do remember is that I didn't have to wake up at midnight,

because I had my own cellphone.

because I had my own cellphone.

And as I grew older and had more access to those books,

And as I grew older and had more access to those books,

I gradually lost interest in them. So that's it, my story with

I gradually lost interest in them. So that's it, my story with

my father. And there are some other things that happened. I

my father. And there are some other things that happened. I

can't remember when they happened, but I will mention

can't remember when they happened, but I will mention

them in my self-analysis.

them in my self-analysis.

My father is a very traditional man. He thinks the husband is

My father is a very traditional man. He thinks the husband is

the master of a family. And he doesn't allow anyone to

the master of a family. And he doesn't allow anyone to

challenge him at home. He also really cares about his family

challenge him at home. He also really cares about his family

and his face. So he asks us to study hard, get good grades,

and his face. So he asks us to study hard, get good grades,

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and earn him face. Also, as he thinks of it, it's not only for

and earn him face. Also, as he thinks of it, it's not only for

him, but for us too.

him, but for us too.

In my relationship with my dad, he plays two roles. The

In my relationship with my dad, he plays two roles. The

commander and the protector. The commander tells me what

commander and the protector. The commander tells me what

I should do and what I shouldn't do. And he would punish

I should do and what I shouldn't do. And he would punish

me if I do something wrong or do something he doesn't like.

me if I do something wrong or do something he doesn't like.

He thinks I should study hard. So I should study hard. He

He thinks I should study hard. So I should study hard. He

thinks I shouldn't talk with his staff because that's not decent.

thinks I shouldn't talk with his staff because that's not decent.

So I don't talk with the staff. He thinks romantic fictions are

So I don't talk with the staff. He thinks romantic fictions are

disgusting and don't do any good for my study. So I

disgusting and don't do any good for my study. So I

shouldn't read them. But I was so curious about what

shouldn't read them. But I was so curious about what

happened between men and women that I couldn't stop

happened between men and women that I couldn't stop

reading these books. Because of this, I told him many lies.

reading these books. Because of this, I told him many lies.

And he caught me many times. He became suspicious of me.

And he caught me many times. He became suspicious of me.

And I am afraid of communicating with him and have often

And I am afraid of communicating with him and have often

told him lies, consciously or unconsciously. I still do that

told him lies, consciously or unconsciously. I still do that

today. So I think the reason why I couldn't ask him for

today. So I think the reason why I couldn't ask him for

money directly is that it is related to the memory of me

money directly is that it is related to the memory of me

stealing his money, about which he still makes fun of me

stealing his money, about which he still makes fun of me

sometimes when we are having dinner. And I'm afraid of

sometimes when we are having dinner. And I'm afraid of

hearing him ask me what I am going to do with this money,

hearing him ask me what I am going to do with this money,

for it may make him recall the memory of me stealing

for it may make him recall the memory of me stealing

money. Though it's perhaps more likely for him to recall this

money. Though it's perhaps more likely for him to recall this

if I take his money without asking him. Maybe in my mind

if I take his money without asking him. Maybe in my mind

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this is a much easier way to ask for money from them, for in

this is a much easier way to ask for money from them, for in

this way I don't have to deal with questions, and the possible

this way I don't have to deal with questions, and the possible

consequence that they don't give me the money.

consequence that they don't give me the money.

More than that, it seems that I can never tell my parents

More than that, it seems that I can never tell my parents

things directly. For example, I wanted to go out with my

things directly. For example, I wanted to go out with my

friends for no special reason. I could have just told them I

friends for no special reason. I could have just told them I

wanted to go out and have fun with my friends. But I didn't.

wanted to go out and have fun with my friends. But I didn't.

I told them it was my friend's birthday instead. It's not that

I told them it was my friend's birthday instead. It's not that

kind of lie where you tell your parents you will study with

kind of lie where you tell your parents you will study with

your friends, but you just end up having fun with them all

your friends, but you just end up having fun with them all

day long. Rather, for me, it needed it to be something I have

day long. Rather, for me, it needed it to be something I have

to do, and then she can't say no. So I told them it was my

to do, and then she can't say no. So I told them it was my

friend's birthday, implying that I had to go since it's her

friend's birthday, implying that I had to go since it's her

birthday only once a year! And she invited me! You must let

birthday only once a year! And she invited me! You must let

me go! Instinctively, I thought they were not going to say

me go! Instinctively, I thought they were not going to say

yes if they knew the truth. So I would rather tell some small

yes if they knew the truth. So I would rather tell some small

lies to make it happen.

lies to make it happen.

The birthday party lie just is one of my smart tricks. The

The birthday party lie just is one of my smart tricks. The

most common lie I tell my father today is about the gender

most common lie I tell my father today is about the gender

of the people I hang out with. If most of them are boys, I tell

of the people I hang out with. If most of them are boys, I tell

him most are girls. If most are girls, I tell them it is a girl's

him most are girls. If most are girls, I tell them it is a girl's

day. It’s no big deal. They would let me go, no matter what,

day. It’s no big deal. They would let me go, no matter what,

as I grew older. But I still decorated the fact to make it look

as I grew older. But I still decorated the fact to make it look

more acceptable. Deep in my mind, I still think it would

more acceptable. Deep in my mind, I still think it would

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make my father unhappy to know I go out with boys. I don't

make my father unhappy to know I go out with boys. I don't

want to let down my protector, but I also want to go out with

want to let down my protector, but I also want to go out with

them. So I lie to him. This is probably the reason why he

them. So I lie to him. This is probably the reason why he

also suspects me, regards me as an unreliable daughter, and

also suspects me, regards me as an unreliable daughter, and

bans me from doing more things.

bans me from doing more things.

The other role my father plays is that of protector. I

The other role my father plays is that of protector. I

respect my father even though I hate his stupid male

respect my father even though I hate his stupid male

chauvinism. I know he cares about me, otherwise he

chauvinism. I know he cares about me, otherwise he

wouldn't drive to our hometown overnight to get my identity

wouldn't drive to our hometown overnight to get my identity

8

card so that I can attend the English test the next day. So I

card so that I can attend the English test the next day. 8 So I

felt guilty for resisting him by doing something he doesn't

felt guilty for resisting him by doing something he doesn't

like. And then one day I accidentally found his porn CDs in

like. And then one day I accidentally found his porn CDs in

a closet. The protector role collapsed. The man who banned

a closet. The protector role collapsed. The man who banned

me from those disgusting novels had been watching some

me from those disgusting novels had been watching some

much more disgusting things. He was the biggest liar. I felt

much more disgusting things. He was the biggest liar. I felt

angry, betrayed. What was the point of feeling guilty for

angry, betrayed. What was the point of feeling guilty for

disobeying him? But my father didn't know about this. It

disobeying him? But my father didn't know about this. It

was not the kind of thing you could bring to the surface.

was not the kind of thing you could bring to the surface.

Nobody talks about sex in my family. I couldn't just go to

Nobody talks about sex in my family. I couldn't just go to

my father and say: Hey dad! I just found some porno in the

my father and say: Hey dad! I just found some porno in the

closet, so turns out you are the one who is not telling the

closet, so turns out you are the one who is not telling the

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8

Editor’s note: Typically in today’s China, a family may live and work in a big city located hours away from the countryside town or village where they have their official residency, the place that issues their official identity card and related documents.

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truth. So I repress my anger and my disappointment. The

truth. So I repress my anger and my disappointment. The

roles had changed. I was the one who had been lied to by my

roles had changed. I was the one who had been lied to by my

father. He was the one who should be guilty. And he didn't

father. He was the one who should be guilty. And he didn't

know that! He acted like nothing had happened, and this

know that! He acted like nothing had happened, and this

really pissed me off. And I couldn’t even express to myself

really pissed me off. And I couldn’t even express to myself

what was going on. You can imagine I wasn't having a good

what was going on. You can imagine I wasn't having a good

time then. The contrast between his old role and the role he

time then. The contrast between his old role and the role he

now played for me made me more rebellious. And there

now played for me made me more rebellious. And there

were more problems between us.

were more problems between us.

In addition, this thing triggered my awareness of sex,

In addition, this thing triggered my awareness of sex,

though I already knew something about it from those

though I already knew something about it from those

romantic fictions. I wanted to know more about this, so I

romantic fictions. I wanted to know more about this, so I

read more fiction. My repressed desire exploded. Our

read more fiction. My repressed desire exploded. Our

relationship came to its worst during my post puberty.

relationship came to its worst during my post puberty.

When I grew up as an adult knowing more about this

When I grew up as an adult knowing more about this

world, and he became less the commander, our relationship

world, and he became less the commander, our relationship

became better. Things that happened in my childhood and

became better. Things that happened in my childhood and

puberty have left an enormous influence on my behavior

puberty have left an enormous influence on my behavior

today. Like a few days ago, when I told my friend a stupid

today. Like a few days ago, when I told my friend a stupid

thing I did, I added something which never happened to the

thing I did, I added something which never happened to the

story to make it sound more dramatic and funnier. I didn't

story to make it sound more dramatic and funnier. I didn't

notice that when I was telling the story. Maybe it's the result

notice that when I was telling the story. Maybe it's the result

of reading too many fictions or maybe it's because of what

of reading too many fictions or maybe it's because of what

resulted from that, the need to tell many lies to my parents.

resulted from that, the need to tell many lies to my parents.

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Overall, after telling my story and trying to analyze a bit

Overall, after telling my story and trying to analyze a bit

of my life – which is really hard because I have to dig into

of my life – which is really hard because I have to dig into

the meaning behind the behavior and put many details

the meaning behind the behavior and put many details

together and make a picture of how things affect one another

together and make a picture of how things affect one another

– I see what an important role sex has played in my life. I

– I see what an important role sex has played in my life. I

think my life can be divided into four stages so far. The first

think my life can be divided into four stages so far. The first

stage is when I started to know something about sex from

stage is when I started to know something about sex from

reading that book I got in grade two. I became curious about

reading that book I got in grade two. I became curious about

sex. The second stage is in my early puberty. I read many

sex. The second stage is in my early puberty. I read many

works of fiction, especially romantic ones. But my desire

works of fiction, especially romantic ones. But my desire

was repressed by my father. There were some conflicts. The

was repressed by my father. There were some conflicts. The

third stage is during my post puberty when my father’s

third stage is during my post puberty when my father’s

perfect image collapsed. And he can't repress my urge for

perfect image collapsed. And he can't repress my urge for

sex anymore, and I have become rebellious. The conflict has

sex anymore, and I have become rebellious. The conflict has

intensified. After that comes the fourth stage, with the

intensified. After that comes the fourth stage, with the

development of technology, I have more access to sex, I

development of technology, I have more access to sex, I

know more things about it, and my father's role has further

know more things about it, and my father's role has further

weakened. So I am not that desperate. The role of sex does

weakened. So I am not that desperate. The role of sex does

not always appear on the surface, but is hidden behind my

not always appear on the surface, but is hidden behind my

behavior, just like the way I don't like to directly ask my

behavior, just like the way I don't like to directly ask my

parents for money.

parents for money.

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Part Two

Part Two

Damn, I shouldn'thave argued with her again. After all these

Damn, I shouldn'thave argued with her again. After all these

years, why can’t I just accept the fact that nothing will

years, why can’t I just accept the fact that nothing will

change. I can’t change her. She can’t change me. I should

change. I can’t change her. She can’t change me. I should

have just ignored her words and done whatever she wanted

have just ignored her words and done whatever she wanted

me to do. In this way the Cold War would not happen, and I

me to do. In this way the Cold War would not happen, and I

could have a quiet summer holiday.

could have a quiet summer holiday.

I came home from school a day after my family went

I came home from school a day after my family went

back to our hometown. I did it on purpose. I don't want to go

back to our hometown. I did it on purpose. I don't want to go

back to my hometown with them. I would rather stay alone

back to my hometown with them. I would rather stay alone

at home. My hometown – to be honest, as I grow older I

at home. My hometown – to be honest, as I grow older I

have less feeling for it. For me, gradually, it just became a

have less feeling for it. For me, gradually, it just became a

place my father forced us to return to every Chinese New

place my father forced us to return to every Chinese New

Year. My grandmother wasn't there. There's no reason to

Year. My grandmother wasn't there. There's no reason to

keep going back. Maybe there are some for my parents. But

keep going back. Maybe there are some for my parents. But

for me, there are none. My father has friends and relatives

for me, there are none. My father has friends and relatives

there. Many people come to visit him. I don't know those

there. Many people come to visit him. I don't know those

people. Usually, I just call them Uncle, 9 show them my

people. Usually, I just call them Uncle, 9 show them my

politeness, and return to my bedroom. They keep talking for

politeness, and return to my bedroom. They keep talking for

hours. Listening to what they are saying, I wonder if one day

hours. Listening to what they are saying, I wonder if one day

I will sit there talking to my friends and relatives like that.

I will sit there talking to my friends and relatives like that.

No, I won't. No one will visit me. I have no friends there.

No, I won't. No one will visit me. I have no friends there.

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Editor’s note: Uncle (叔叔) is often used to address adult male friends of the family.

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Maybe I have some relatives there, but we barely know each

Maybe I have some relatives there, but we barely know each

other. So that can't happen. My father always tells us

other. So that can't happen. My father always tells us

hometown is where our roots are and we can only rely on the

hometown is where our roots are and we can only rely on the

family. Blood is real. Other bonds, like friendship, won't last

family. Blood is real. Other bonds, like friendship, won't last

long. So the family should always stay together. We need to

long. So the family should always stay together. We need to

go back every year to maintain this relationship. What he

go back every year to maintain this relationship. What he

doesn't know is that he's maintaining his relationships, not

doesn't know is that he's maintaining his relationships, not

ours. For him, relatives and friends are the same. People who

ours. For him, relatives and friends are the same. People who

come visit him are his friends and relatives. But our friends

come visit him are his friends and relatives. But our friends

are just friends. Our relatives are just relatives. They are

are just friends. Our relatives are just relatives. They are

separate. All my friends are in Shenzhen and they are not my

separate. All my friends are in Shenzhen and they are not my

relatives. I barely know anyone in my hometown. You know,

relatives. I barely know anyone in my hometown. You know,

Dad, you can't just take me away and now, sixteen years

Dad, you can't just take me away and now, sixteen years

later, expect me to have no worries. I’m fine. I'm fitting in

later, expect me to have no worries. I’m fine. I'm fitting in

well here. However, sometimes I do fantasize about living in

well here. However, sometimes I do fantasize about living in

my hometown and having a kind of slow-paced life there.

my hometown and having a kind of slow-paced life there.

Maybe my father was right. My root is in my blood. I

Maybe my father was right. My root is in my blood. I

don't know. Maybe I will change my thoughts in the future.

don't know. Maybe I will change my thoughts in the future.

Maybe I will have a bunch of friends there. Well, maybe not.

Maybe I will have a bunch of friends there. Well, maybe not.

I was in my hometown when I was in grade one in

I was in my hometown when I was in grade one in

primary school. Through my blurry memory I do recall

primary school. Through my blurry memory I do recall

having two friends. But since I moved to Shenzhen, we lost

having two friends. But since I moved to Shenzhen, we lost

contact. I think they moved to cities as well. Young people

contact. I think they moved to cities as well. Young people

have left. Old people have stayed. This small town is getting

have left. Old people have stayed. This small town is getting

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older. Because of traditional customs, still, maybe people go

older. Because of traditional customs, still, maybe people go

back to that little town for New Year’s. All of a sudden, the

back to that little town for New Year’s. All of a sudden, the

small town comes back to life. When I was thirteen or

small town comes back to life. When I was thirteen or

fourteen years old, old enough to understand things, every

fourteen years old, old enough to understand things, every

time I went back I insisted on wearing school uniforms

time I went back I insisted on wearing school uniforms

instead of the jeans my mother bought me. So as a city kid

instead of the jeans my mother bought me. So as a city kid

wearing those fatty trousers and wandering around, I was

wearing those fatty trousers and wandering around, I was

actually less fashionable than the kids in my hometown.

actually less fashionable than the kids in my hometown.

Mom never got it, why I prefer ugly stupid uniform trousers

Mom never got it, why I prefer ugly stupid uniform trousers

to the fashion jeans. I told her it's because jeans are not

to the fashion jeans. I told her it's because jeans are not

comfy. But that's just a part of truth. I have a dirty filthy

comfy. But that's just a part of truth. I have a dirty filthy

thought in my mind. I knew it's not right deep in my teenage

thought in my mind. I knew it's not right deep in my teenage

mind. It's against what the society tells me. So I didn't tell

mind. It's against what the society tells me. So I didn't tell

anybody, I did it subtly.

anybody, I did it subtly.

The truth is: In Shenzhen, throughout the city, all the

The truth is: In Shenzhen, throughout the city, all the

students wear the same uniforms. It's not like other places,

students wear the same uniforms. It's not like other places,

where each school has its own uniform. The situation is,

where each school has its own uniform. The situation is,

when you wear the Shenzhen school uniform, people would

when you wear the Shenzhen school uniform, people would

instantly notice that you study in Shenzhen. So I want people

instantly notice that you study in Shenzhen. So I want people

in my hometown know that I from Shenzhen, I am an urban

in my hometown know that I from Shenzhen, I am an urban

kid. I know things you lame village kids don't know. We

kid. I know things you lame village kids don't know. We

have real McDonalds and KFCs, not like you guys. To

have real McDonalds and KFCs, not like you guys. To

indicate that I even speak mandarin, instead of a dialect, I

indicate that I even speak mandarin, instead of a dialect, I

would speak mandarin on purpose in front of my cousins,

would speak mandarin on purpose in front of my cousins,

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pretending like I had stayed in Shenzhen so long that I

pretending like I had stayed in Shenzhen so long that I

couldn’t avoid speaking mandarin. 10 And they seemed to

couldn’t avoid speaking mandarin. 10 And they seemed to

smell my arrogance. Probably, that's why we never really got

smell my arrogance. Probably, that's why we never really got

along. Now I am adult, I don't think in that way anymore,

along. Now I am adult, I don't think in that way anymore,

but sometimes those thoughts flash by. It's always there.

but sometimes those thoughts flash by. It's always there.

Now I just suppress it under the pressure of morals.

Now I just suppress it under the pressure of morals.

The funny thing is, back in Shenzhen, I have never been

The funny thing is, back in Shenzhen, I have never been

city-enough compared with my city friends. I don't have

city-enough compared with my city friends. I don't have

enough pocket money. I don't have fancy sneakers with huge

enough pocket money. I don't have fancy sneakers with huge

logos. My parents don't like me to hang out with my friends.

logos. My parents don't like me to hang out with my friends.

I can't go to the cinema because my mom thinks it's a waste

I can't go to the cinema because my mom thinks it's a waste

of money. It turns out I'm the lame village kid in this big

of money. It turns out I'm the lame village kid in this big

modern city. I was really frustrated when my parents didn't

modern city. I was really frustrated when my parents didn't

allow me to do this or that. And I didn't get it either. It was

allow me to do this or that. And I didn't get it either. It was

not a big deal. My friends did that too. And their parents

not a big deal. My friends did that too. And their parents

thought it was fine. Gradually I worked my way out. Since

thought it was fine. Gradually I worked my way out. Since

my parents wouldn't accept it and it was tiring to

my parents wouldn't accept it and it was tiring to

communicate with them, I did some dirty things, like

communicate with them, I did some dirty things, like

stealing money and lying to my parents to protect myself

stealing money and lying to my parents to protect myself

from their anger and fulfill my wish. Many times they found

from their anger and fulfill my wish. Many times they found

10

10

Editor’s note: Many Chinese villages speak a dialect of Chinese, whereas in a city inhabited by migrants from various distant villages the common language for communication would generally be Mandarin, since it is used for common spoken dialect in China.

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out. It was a tough time at home. But that's fine, at least I

out. It was a tough time at home. But that's fine, at least I

kept up with my city friends.

kept up with my city friends.

Now I'm more independent and have more money to

Now I'm more independent and have more money to

have fun with my city friends. But automatically, when I

have fun with my city friends. But automatically, when I

hang out and spend money, there's always a voice: It's just a

hang out and spend money, there's always a voice: It's just a

waste of time. You should save it rather than spending it or

waste of time. You should save it rather than spending it or

you won't have money when you really need it. So I tend to

you won't have money when you really need it. So I tend to

spend less than my friends, though I can never reach my

spend less than my friends, though I can never reach my

mother's level.

mother's level.

My mom is an incredible woman. She's the oldest child

My mom is an incredible woman. She's the oldest child

in an eight-kid family. She had to work really hard to help

in an eight-kid family. She had to work really hard to help

with the family. She didn't get an education. She only went

with the family. She didn't get an education. She only went

to night school for a few weeks. Then she left the village,

to night school for a few weeks. Then she left the village,

went to Shenzhen on her own. She worked in a clothing

went to Shenzhen on her own. She worked in a clothing

factory. She opened a grocery. And most of her life, she's

factory. She opened a grocery. And most of her life, she's

been a perfect housewife. And now in 2017 she has four

been a perfect housewife. And now in 2017 she has four

children who all go to university.

children who all go to university.

Family is her career. Since she got married, this is what

Family is her career. Since she got married, this is what

my mother's everyday routine for twenty years has been like:

my mother's everyday routine for twenty years has been like:

get up, go shopping for foods, cook breakfast, clean up the

get up, go shopping for foods, cook breakfast, clean up the

home, prepare lunch, clean up the home, watch TV, prepare

home, prepare lunch, clean up the home, watch TV, prepare

dinner, clean up the home, watch TV, then at last go to bed.

dinner, clean up the home, watch TV, then at last go to bed.

Before her marriage I think it was probably the same. That's

Before her marriage I think it was probably the same. That's

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what her life is for and she is used to it. Children get fed.

what her life is for and she is used to it. Children get fed.

The home gets cleaned.

The home gets cleaned.

And sometimes it annoys me that she's so crazy about

And sometimes it annoys me that she's so crazy about

cleaning things. She feels really uncomfortable when there

cleaning things. She feels really uncomfortable when there

are a few invisible hairs on the floor. This bothers her.

are a few invisible hairs on the floor. This bothers her.

Hundreds of arguments have happened because I didn't clean

Hundreds of arguments have happened because I didn't clean

things in the right way. Like she asks me to use hot water to

things in the right way. Like she asks me to use hot water to

wash dishes so the oil can be washed off more easily. She

wash dishes so the oil can be washed off more easily. She

doesn't have her own circle. She rarely has contact with her

doesn't have her own circle. She rarely has contact with her

friends. No friends, only family.

friends. No friends, only family.

Thinking of how much my mother has contributed to

Thinking of how much my mother has contributed to

my family, I have a weird feeling. One part of me feels like

my family, I have a weird feeling. One part of me feels like

her job is not easy, and I should do something to help share

her job is not easy, and I should do something to help share

her chores. I am the eldest child, like mom. I should support

her chores. I am the eldest child, like mom. I should support

my family. The other part of me thinks I don't want to be

my family. The other part of me thinks I don't want to be

like you. You have no personal life. I don't want to spend my

like you. You have no personal life. I don't want to spend my

life raising kids and cleaning home. I want to live for myself.

life raising kids and cleaning home. I want to live for myself.

You have done this for your whole life. You have gotten

You have done this for your whole life. You have gotten

used to it. So me helping you won't make a difference. So I

used to it. So me helping you won't make a difference. So I

hesitate between these two thoughts. Sometimes the selfish

hesitate between these two thoughts. Sometimes the selfish

part wins. Sometimes the other part wins. Overall, I just

part wins. Sometimes the other part wins. Overall, I just

selfishly take everything she has done for granted, feel bad

selfishly take everything she has done for granted, feel bad

for her and myself, and do nothing to help her, because I am

for her and myself, and do nothing to help her, because I am

lazy and I don't want to become the second mom. She wants

lazy and I don't want to become the second mom. She wants

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to train her three daughters to be exactly like her. Know how

to train her three daughters to be exactly like her. Know how

to cook, to clean, to take care of their families. But

to cook, to clean, to take care of their families. But

obviously she failed. We can never be like her. Not me, not

obviously she failed. We can never be like her. Not me, not

my two sisters. Especially me. I am the one who has the

my two sisters. Especially me. I am the one who has the

most conflict with her. I have disobeyed her a lot. During my

most conflict with her. I have disobeyed her a lot. During my

puberty I did many things to get rid of her. But lately I’ve

puberty I did many things to get rid of her. But lately I’ve

found out, when I stay at home alone, my routine is just like

found out, when I stay at home alone, my routine is just like

hers. I don't want to go out. I like to stay home. I am

hers. I don't want to go out. I like to stay home. I am

uncomfortable when things are not clean, not right and not

uncomfortable when things are not clean, not right and not

placed in order. There is always a little voice in my head:

placed in order. There is always a little voice in my head:

Mom won't be happy if she sees this. It keeps pushing me do

Mom won't be happy if she sees this. It keeps pushing me do

the cleaning. And I feel good to see everything in order,

the cleaning. And I feel good to see everything in order,

imagining how glad mom would be seeing me taking care of

imagining how glad mom would be seeing me taking care of

things. Before she came back from our hometown. I checked

things. Before she came back from our hometown. I checked

everything. Everything's good. The kitchen was tidy, I had

everything. Everything's good. The kitchen was tidy, I had

washed all the dishes. No hairs on the floor. No dust on the

washed all the dishes. No hairs on the floor. No dust on the

table. The moment she arrived home I thought I would

table. The moment she arrived home I thought I would

receive a compliment like: Huh, you were doing a good job.

receive a compliment like: Huh, you were doing a good job.

She would be proud. But no, the moment she stepped in, she

She would be proud. But no, the moment she stepped in, she

sniffed, and then blamed me for shutting all the windows up

sniffed, and then blamed me for shutting all the windows up

and making her home stink. I lost my mind. I didn't even

and making her home stink. I lost my mind. I didn't even

explain. I just headed straight to my room and shut the door

explain. I just headed straight to my room and shut the door

strongly. We had a Cold War for days until my father also

strongly. We had a Cold War for days until my father also

came back from our hometown.

came back from our hometown.

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I always know I can never be like her. But I have never

I always know I can never be like her. But I have never

felt it so strongly as this time. I hate to become my mom. I

felt it so strongly as this time. I hate to become my mom. I

hate to hear my sisters say you are “Mother,” and yet I have

hate to hear my sisters say you are “Mother,” and yet I have

been strongly influenced by her and am not capable of

been strongly influenced by her and am not capable of

getting rid of her. During the Cold War, my thought changed.

getting rid of her. During the Cold War, my thought changed.

My thought evolved like: I have done everything! What else

My thought evolved like: I have done everything! What else

would you want me to do?! – okay, I am never you. I don't

would you want me to do?! – okay, I am never you. I don't

care anymore – yeah you influence me a lot but I won't be

care anymore – yeah you influence me a lot but I won't be

you. But this argument is exhausting. I will just try not to

you. But this argument is exhausting. I will just try not to

live in that way.

live in that way.

I learned and felt a lot from this conflict. Since then I

I learned and felt a lot from this conflict. Since then I

am getting along well with my mother so far. As always I

am getting along well with my mother so far. As always I

worked my way out. I pretend. I continue to pretend to be a

worked my way out. I pretend. I continue to pretend to be a

good daughter until the next argument, until they discover

good daughter until the next argument, until they discover

me doing something they don't want me to do. The pattern

me doing something they don't want me to do. The pattern

keeps repeating. They disagree – we argue – I pretend.

keeps repeating. They disagree – we argue – I pretend.

Maybe in the end. My mother and I are not so different.

Maybe in the end. My mother and I are not so different.

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Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 13, Nov., 2018

My Childhood

My Childhood

by Li Huiyin

by Li Huiyin

On an October night, in a small village in a remote region of

On an October night, in a small village in a remote region of

Jiangxi province, I was born. To this day I am not sure

Jiangxi province, I was born. To this day I am not sure

whether the date on my ID card reflects my actual birthday.

whether the date on my ID card reflects my actual birthday.

My parents were always busy. Both of them worked in the

My parents were always busy. Both of them worked in the

village hospital, and had to be on night shifts every other day.

village hospital, and had to be on night shifts every other day.

Besides, they had a big family to support. With so many

Besides, they had a big family to support. With so many

concerns in their minds, how could I expect them to

concerns in their minds, how could I expect them to

remember my exact birth date? The following years were

remember my exact birth date? The following years were

rather vague to me, but I do know that I did not even see my

rather vague to me, but I do know that I did not even see my

parents till five, when it was the last chance for me to receive

parents till five, when it was the last chance for me to receive

my kindergarten education in preparation for elementary

my kindergarten education in preparation for elementary

school.

school.

The years before I was five were spent in another remote

The years before I was five were spent in another remote

village, in Hunan, with my sister in Mom's big family-her five

village, in Hunan, with my sister in Mom's big family-her five

brothers and three sisters as well as her parents. Strangely

brothers and three sisters as well as her parents. Strangely

enough, I cannot remember those days clearly either, except

enough, I cannot remember those days clearly either, except

that I was frightened most of the time; frightened because

that I was frightened most of the time; frightened because

most of the time I was left alone and told to guard the house

most of the time I was left alone and told to guard the house

against thieves. Now, in retrospect, I can’t help laughing at

against thieves. Now, in retrospect, I can’t help laughing at

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the task given me by the adults, “Stay at home. If any thief

the task given me by the adults, “Stay at home. If any thief

breaks in, come to the field to inform us.” Our life was too

breaks in, come to the field to inform us.” Our life was too

simple at that time to merit any visit from a thief. There was

simple at that time to merit any visit from a thief. There was

hardly any furniture at all, only the tools used for fieldwork,

hardly any furniture at all, only the tools used for fieldwork,

beds, some tables and cooking utensils. It would have been a

beds, some tables and cooking utensils. It would have been a

blessing if we could have had our stomachs filled. No snack,

blessing if we could have had our stomachs filled. No snack,

no quality cloth, nor a single coin at home, just one pig in the

no quality cloth, nor a single coin at home, just one pig in the

stable, and some greens in the backyard garden.

stable, and some greens in the backyard garden.

In the daytime, Sister, four years older than I was, had to

In the daytime, Sister, four years older than I was, had to

get up early with the adults. She had to cut grass to feed the

get up early with the adults. She had to cut grass to feed the

pigs before going to school in order to contribute to the

pigs before going to school in order to contribute to the

financial gains of our big family, even though Mom and Dad

financial gains of our big family, even though Mom and Dad

mailed money each month to support Sister's education, and

mailed money each month to support Sister's education, and

our living. After school, she had to go with our youngest

our living. After school, she had to go with our youngest

uncle, who is only one year older than she, to collect dry

uncle, who is only one year older than she, to collect dry

leaves and sticks to cook with. Afterwards, she had to finish

leaves and sticks to cook with. Afterwards, she had to finish

her homework immediately, because once it got dark there

her homework immediately, because once it got dark there

was no light for her to study by. The only thing we did in the

was no light for her to study by. The only thing we did in the

darkness was to go to bed. So, I couldn’t talk with her most of

darkness was to go to bed. So, I couldn’t talk with her most of

the daytime. The other people around me had to work either

the daytime. The other people around me had to work either

in the fields or somewhere else to feed their stomach. I was

in the fields or somewhere else to feed their stomach. I was

too young to go to the field since I might make extra trouble

too young to go to the field since I might make extra trouble

for the people working there. So, most of the time, I was left

for the people working there. So, most of the time, I was left

behind at home, assigned to safeguard the house.

behind at home, assigned to safeguard the house.

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I was not a qualified gatekeeper. Each day when I

I was not a qualified gatekeeper. Each day when I

finished our simple breakfast, which was just cooked white

finished our simple breakfast, which was just cooked white

rice, I moved a little stool to the doorstep and stood there,

rice, I moved a little stool to the doorstep and stood there,

seeing everyone off, eager to see that someone would realize

seeing everyone off, eager to see that someone would realize

that I was too small to be left alone, and would invite me to

that I was too small to be left alone, and would invite me to

join them. But each time I was disappointed. So I sat on my

join them. But each time I was disappointed. So I sat on my

stool, tasting and swallowing desperation and loneliness. I

stool, tasting and swallowing desperation and loneliness. I

still remember several times when I saw a stranger approach

still remember several times when I saw a stranger approach

the house, I would hide myself immediately at the back of the

the house, I would hide myself immediately at the back of the

door and then try to run out of the house, fearing that the

door and then try to run out of the house, fearing that the

stranger might come to kidnap me, completely forgetting my

stranger might come to kidnap me, completely forgetting my

duty at home was to guard the house rather than my life.

duty at home was to guard the house rather than my life.

Sometimes when Grandma came back home to cook

Sometimes when Grandma came back home to cook

lunch for the family, and saw me staring at the ground

lunch for the family, and saw me staring at the ground

motionlessly, she would show me heartfelt sympathy, which I

motionlessly, she would show me heartfelt sympathy, which I

read from her silent tears. If she could not overcome the guilt

read from her silent tears. If she could not overcome the guilt

inside her, she would lead me to her garden, chop down a

inside her, she would lead me to her garden, chop down a

stalk of sugar cane, divide it into several pieces, generously

stalk of sugar cane, divide it into several pieces, generously

give me two, and remind me to hide them well from Sister

give me two, and remind me to hide them well from Sister

and my youngest uncle, who, upon finding anything that

and my youngest uncle, who, upon finding anything that

could be put into his mouth, would immediately swallow it

could be put into his mouth, would immediately swallow it

down before identifying whether it was edible or who it

down before identifying whether it was edible or who it

belonged to.

belonged to.

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But I had happy times, for instance, when I had cooked

But I had happy times, for instance, when I had cooked

rice seasoned with pig fat jelly and soy sauce. Grandma

rice seasoned with pig fat jelly and soy sauce. Grandma

would give the kids this food on special days, which I later

would give the kids this food on special days, which I later

came to know as festivals. I would always eat with great

came to know as festivals. I would always eat with great

enjoyment and satisfaction. Pig fat is seldom used in cooking

enjoyment and satisfaction. Pig fat is seldom used in cooking

these days, since it is now considered bad for one’s health.

these days, since it is now considered bad for one’s health.

Soy sauce is a suitably typical seasoning in Chinese cuisine.

Soy sauce is a suitably typical seasoning in Chinese cuisine.

But in those days, with stringent shortages of food, it was a

But in those days, with stringent shortages of food, it was a

luxury. Besides, I could see Sister and our youngest uncle

luxury. Besides, I could see Sister and our youngest uncle

having the same delicacy. The three of us gathered around the

having the same delicacy. The three of us gathered around the

small table in the center of the courtyard, eating, talking and

small table in the center of the courtyard, eating, talking and

laughing aloud. How satisfied and content I was when I could

laughing aloud. How satisfied and content I was when I could

finally have a couple of companions. The good smell, the

finally have a couple of companions. The good smell, the

taste, and the satisfaction still linger in my memory. I hadn’t

taste, and the satisfaction still linger in my memory. I hadn’t

tried this food again for many years until recently. On that

tried this food again for many years until recently. On that

occasion, I was too busy to buy vegetables to cook for myself.

occasion, I was too busy to buy vegetables to cook for myself.

I suddenly thought about making the soy sauce rice. Once the

I suddenly thought about making the soy sauce rice. Once the

cooked white rice was freshly steaming, I sprinkled sesame

cooked white rice was freshly steaming, I sprinkled sesame

oil and soy sauce over it. The fragrance brought those

oil and soy sauce over it. The fragrance brought those

memories back to me magically.

memories back to me magically.

When I was five I got to know Mom. I sometimes joke

When I was five I got to know Mom. I sometimes joke

with my colleagues, commenting that the left-behind children

with my colleagues, commenting that the left-behind children

in the Chinese countryside is not a new phenomenon: I used

in the Chinese countryside is not a new phenomenon: I used

to be one of them. I still remember the day I met Mom. That

to be one of them. I still remember the day I met Mom. That

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day, surprisingly, my folks returned home earlier than usual,

day, surprisingly, my folks returned home earlier than usual,

bringing back a middle-aged woman who talked cordially

bringing back a middle-aged woman who talked cordially

with all of us. In front of the adults, Grandma pulled Sister

with all of us. In front of the adults, Grandma pulled Sister

and me together and asked us to call the strange women

and me together and asked us to call the strange women

“Mom.” I had no idea of the word “Mom.” I did not know

“Mom.” I had no idea of the word “Mom.” I did not know

that Mom was the person who gave life to me. Urged on by

that Mom was the person who gave life to me. Urged on by

the adults, we did what all expected us to do. What a relief for

the adults, we did what all expected us to do. What a relief for

everyone, and what a happy thing for all to hear us address

everyone, and what a happy thing for all to hear us address

that woman, Mom. Mom accepted our addressing her in this

that woman, Mom. Mom accepted our addressing her in this

way with great willingness and held us together in her arms.

way with great willingness and held us together in her arms.

That night we slept with Mom, though we usually slept with

That night we slept with Mom, though we usually slept with

Grandma. Her body smelt so nice, very different from

Grandma. Her body smelt so nice, very different from

Grandma, I thought to myself, and quickly fell into sleep,

Grandma, I thought to myself, and quickly fell into sleep,

unaware that my life was going to be quite different from that

unaware that my life was going to be quite different from that

day on.

day on.

Early the next morning, Grandma dressed me up and saw

Early the next morning, Grandma dressed me up and saw

us off with tears in her eyes. I had barely awakened when I

us off with tears in her eyes. I had barely awakened when I

was urged to walk with this so-called Mom woman to some

was urged to walk with this so-called Mom woman to some

other place. Sister and I followed the Mom woman, not

other place. Sister and I followed the Mom woman, not

realizing what was going to happen. We walked for a long

realizing what was going to happen. We walked for a long

time, boarded an ox-driven cart, then got on a bus, and later

time, boarded an ox-driven cart, then got on a bus, and later

boarded the long green rectangular carriage, which I was later

boarded the long green rectangular carriage, which I was later

told was a train. I did not know how many hours we spent on

told was a train. I did not know how many hours we spent on

the train. After that came a really hard bus journey. Sister and

the train. After that came a really hard bus journey. Sister and

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I became very bus sick and vomited all the way. The only

I became very bus sick and vomited all the way. The only

time we did not vomit was when we were sleeping. Exhausted,

time we did not vomit was when we were sleeping. Exhausted,

with bitterness in our mouths and empty stomachs, we were

with bitterness in our mouths and empty stomachs, we were

hardly fit enough to ask about our destination. We went

hardly fit enough to ask about our destination. We went

hungry for an entire day, and finally we got off the bus. Mom

hungry for an entire day, and finally we got off the bus. Mom

carried two parcels, and Sister held my hand tightly. Soon we

carried two parcels, and Sister held my hand tightly. Soon we

came to a vast green field with a large pool in the center. I

came to a vast green field with a large pool in the center. I

didn’t feel like I was walking on the ground. Rather, I felt like

didn’t feel like I was walking on the ground. Rather, I felt like

I was drifting in the air.

I was drifting in the air.

Some time later I felt much better. So did Sister. She was

Some time later I felt much better. So did Sister. She was

much more active than I was, singing and hopping along the

much more active than I was, singing and hopping along the

grass ridges. People came and went away. Mom greeted them

grass ridges. People came and went away. Mom greeted them

one by one. She must have been exhausted too. But when

one by one. She must have been exhausted too. But when

another man walked toward us, Mom put down her two

another man walked toward us, Mom put down her two

parcels and stopped us. She greeted the man and introduced

parcels and stopped us. She greeted the man and introduced

us to him. He was a good-looking man, except that he was a

us to him. He was a good-looking man, except that he was a

bit serious. He smiled at us and addressed us by our

bit serious. He smiled at us and addressed us by our

nicknames. How strange it was. And stranger yet was Mom's

nicknames. How strange it was. And stranger yet was Mom's

“This is your father.” I seemed to understand the term this

“This is your father.” I seemed to understand the term this

time, though I didn’t actually understand the relationship

time, though I didn’t actually understand the relationship

between us. I hid myself behind Sister and did not address the

between us. I hid myself behind Sister and did not address the

man as “Dad” immediately. After a brief chat with Mom, Dad

man as “Dad” immediately. After a brief chat with Mom, Dad

walked away. When Mom led us home, I got to know that we

walked away. When Mom led us home, I got to know that we

had a brother who was two years younger than I was. All of a

had a brother who was two years younger than I was. All of a

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sudden, new information swarmed to me: my parents had

sudden, new information swarmed to me: my parents had

moved from the small village to a small town; they worked at

moved from the small village to a small town; they worked at

the town hospital; Sister had to go to school soon; my

the town hospital; Sister had to go to school soon; my

younger brother and I would go to the kindergarten. What a

younger brother and I would go to the kindergarten. What a

strange reunion, but I felt warm in my heart. Finally I would

strange reunion, but I felt warm in my heart. Finally I would

not feel frightened anymore.

not feel frightened anymore.

We lived around a courtyard surrounded by two-story

We lived around a courtyard surrounded by two-story

town houses, with only one public bathroom and one public

town houses, with only one public bathroom and one public

toilet room. Twelve families lived together, sharing two taps

toilet room. Twelve families lived together, sharing two taps

and other public facilities. I liked living here, because if

and other public facilities. I liked living here, because if

Auntie Liu was on the night shift, Uncle Li would be off the

Auntie Liu was on the night shift, Uncle Li would be off the

night shift, and he would be home. We had one room

night shift, and he would be home. We had one room

downstairs, one upstairs, and a small kitchen. The room

downstairs, one upstairs, and a small kitchen. The room

upstairs was shut up all the time and that was Dad’s study. He

upstairs was shut up all the time and that was Dad’s study. He

would not allow us there because he thought we would mess

would not allow us there because he thought we would mess

up the room. We did enter it occasionally for a very short

up the room. We did enter it occasionally for a very short

time, not enough for a real exploration. But it was tidy and

time, not enough for a real exploration. But it was tidy and

beautifully decorated with red and blue books and a pair of

beautifully decorated with red and blue books and a pair of

red sofas.

red sofas.

So we spent our time outside. My favorite times were in

So we spent our time outside. My favorite times were in

the summer at night, when everyone was off work and the

the summer at night, when everyone was off work and the

sunlight was not so glaring as it was in the afternoon. People

sunlight was not so glaring as it was in the afternoon. People

would pour used water on the ground to cool it off. When

would pour used water on the ground to cool it off. When

dinner was ready, everyone brought out their tables and

dinner was ready, everyone brought out their tables and

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placed the dishes on them. That was the happy moment for

placed the dishes on them. That was the happy moment for

children. We held our rice bowls and roamed from one table

children. We held our rice bowls and roamed from one table

to another, enjoying everything we liked, while the adults

to another, enjoying everything we liked, while the adults

would urge us to get more if we said “Yummy.” After the

would urge us to get more if we said “Yummy.” After the

dinner, the adults would arrange activities for us. We either

dinner, the adults would arrange activities for us. We either

had to sing a song for them, or dance, or recite to them.

had to sing a song for them, or dance, or recite to them.

Sometimes we even had the erhu or flute to accompany our

Sometimes we even had the erhu 11 or flute to accompany our

singing and dancing. Around 8:30 people would leave in a

singing and dancing. Around 8:30 people would leave in a

steady stream, to bathe and to get ready for the next day. No

steady stream, to bathe and to get ready for the next day. No

one seemed to worry about our homework. After all, we

one seemed to worry about our homework. After all, we

usually got it done before our parents came back home.

usually got it done before our parents came back home.

11

11

11

The Chinese fiddle.

163

The Chinese fiddle.

163

Poetry

Poetry

Know Now

Know Now

by Tom Hoy

by Tom Hoy

Who needs to say

Who needs to say

Who needs to tell

Who needs to tell

Who needs to know

Who needs to know

What happened now

What happened now

Know well now

Know well now

Now

Now

We must leave to history

We must leave to history

Bunk

Bunk

History is Drunk

History is Drunk

On cryptic chatter

On cryptic chatter

Lurid allusions

Lurid allusions

Whispered rumours

Whispered rumours

Gibberish

Gibberish

Shadowed in small shit-stained corners

Shadowed in small shit-stained corners

Of the private public world

Of the private public world

Pissed up against the walls, motherfuckers

Pissed up against the walls, motherfuckers

Vomited up in small stalled talk

Vomited up in small stalled talk

By small thrilled thralls

By small thrilled thralls 165

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Who need to say

Who need to say

Who need to tell

Who need to tell

Who need to know

Who need to know

What happened now to

What happened now to

The men in disgrace with fortune and men’s lies

The men in disgrace with fortune and men’s lies

Who have sacrificed themselves to vanity

Who have sacrificed themselves to vanity

And watching, waiting watchful eyes

And watching, waiting watchful eyes

To shadowed silent coded cries

To shadowed silent coded cries

That kill the coding criars

That kill the coding criars

No

No

Now

Now

Now we must leave

Now we must leave

Now

Now

Leave now now

Leave now now

To its own devices and

To its own devices and

Let us cultivate our public vices

Let us cultivate our public vices

In private corners of our futures past

In private corners of our futures past

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Essays on Chinese Culture

Essays on Chinese Culture

Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 13, Nov., 2018

Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 13, Nov., 2018

The Expressivity of Chinese Instrumental

The Expressivity of Chinese Instrumental

Music

Music

by Kevin Nan Gan

by Kevin Nan Gan

Introduction

Introduction

by Craig Gallup

by Craig Gallup

We could scarcely be more proud to present the

We could scarcely be more proud to present the

following

following

essay,

“The

Expressivity

of

Chinese

essay,

“The

Expressivity

of

Chinese

Instrumental Music,” by Kevin Nan Gan. Certainly it

Instrumental Music,” by Kevin Nan Gan. Certainly it

epitomizes the journal’s goal of bringing aspects of

epitomizes the journal’s goal of bringing aspects of

Chinese culture to our audience of readers, but the grace

Chinese culture to our audience of readers, but the grace

with which Kevin brings out his analysis of “some of the

with which Kevin brings out his analysis of “some of the

idioms and aesthetic values of Chinese music,” including

idioms and aesthetic values of Chinese music,” including

illustrations and comparisons with Chinese art, opera,

illustrations and comparisons with Chinese art, opera,

and legend, just simply stands out. In this short piece, the

and legend, just simply stands out. In this short piece, the

reader is taken delicately through comparisons, based on

reader is taken delicately through comparisons, based on

the notion of simplicity, between the reserved brush

the notion of simplicity, between the reserved brush

strokes in a Chinese watercolor and the austere though

strokes in a Chinese watercolor and the austere though

meaningful use of notes on traditional solo-plucked

meaningful use of notes on traditional solo-plucked

stringed instruments, and from there to the instantiation

stringed instruments, and from there to the instantiation

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of Chinese legend within the notes themselves. And

of Chinese legend within the notes themselves. And

woven into all of this, Kevin provides an interesting

woven into all of this, Kevin provides an interesting

background of the culture of the different Chinese

background of the culture of the different Chinese

stringed instruments that he treats, and light but

stringed instruments that he treats, and light but

authoritative explanations of the music itself. Whether

authoritative explanations of the music itself. Whether

the reader is a skilled musician, afficionado, or simply

the reader is a skilled musician, afficionado, or simply

interested in music, this foray into the way in which

interested in music, this foray into the way in which

Chinese spirituality springs from single notes, arpeggios,

Chinese spirituality springs from single notes, arpeggios,

and musical ascensions through which cultural stories

and musical ascensions through which cultural stories

are expressed cannot fail to edify any interested reader.

are expressed cannot fail to edify any interested reader.

When talking about Chinese music, the first thing that comes

When talking about Chinese music, the first thing that comes

to people’s minds is Chinese opera. Colorful faces with

to people’s minds is Chinese opera. Colorful faces with

extravagant costume; high-pitched melody accompanied by

extravagant costume; high-pitched melody accompanied by

acrobatic performances. While many people are more or less

acrobatic performances. While many people are more or less

familiar with the operas, few people know much about

familiar with the operas, few people know much about

traditional Chinese instrumental music. Generally, the

traditional Chinese instrumental music. Generally, the

instrumental music is much smaller in scale than Chinese

instrumental music is much smaller in scale than Chinese

operas, and less glamorous than the Western instrumental

operas, and less glamorous than the Western instrumental

music. Yet these repertoires contain some of the most

music. Yet these repertoires contain some of the most

exquisite and sophisticated music. Writing from the

exquisite and sophisticated music. Writing from the

standpoint of a trained Western musician, I would like to

standpoint of a trained Western musician, I would like to

present two pieces written for the solo-plucked string

present two pieces written for the solo-plucked string

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instruments, guzheng and guqin, and offer a personal analysis

instruments, guzheng and guqin, and offer a personal analysis

of some of the idioms and aesthetic values of Chinese music.

of some of the idioms and aesthetic values of Chinese music.

Like all cultures, Chinese music is closely associated

Like all cultures, Chinese music is closely associated

with Chinese art. In Chinese ink painting, artists seldom make

with Chinese art. In Chinese ink painting, artists seldom make

much use of color, nor do they fill up the corners of the page

much use of color, nor do they fill up the corners of the page

with details to support the main subject. The highest level of

with details to support the main subject. The highest level of

artistry, as illustrated in Beihong Xu’s Horses (shown below),

artistry, as illustrated in Beihong Xu’s Horses (shown below),

is achieved by portraying the subjects using the fewest strokes,

is achieved by portraying the subjects using the fewest strokes,

while capturing their movements, their expressions and ,most

while capturing their movements, their expressions and ,most

importantly, their spirits. Therefore, the touch of each stroke –

importantly, their spirits. Therefore, the touch of each stroke –

how to begin and end it, the exact thickness and heaviness –

how to begin and end it, the exact thickness and heaviness –

becomes quintessentially important. As a result, the paintings

becomes quintessentially important. As a result, the paintings

are usually plain in color and simple in texture. Similarly,

are usually plain in color and simple in texture. Similarly,

Chinese music values purity and simplicity. It does not have

Chinese music values purity and simplicity. It does not have

complicated harmonies or sophisticated formal structure. In

complicated harmonies or sophisticated formal structure. In

fact, solo music consists of mostly just one single melodic

fact, solo music consists of mostly just one single melodic

line occasionally enhanced by single notes doubling at

line occasionally enhanced by single notes doubling at

octaves or sixths. All of the expression is coded into the

octaves or sixths. All of the expression is coded into the

melody. With fewer notes, the message of the music becomes

melody. With fewer notes, the message of the music becomes

more condensed, and every note more meaningful. The

more condensed, and every note more meaningful. The

simple texture allows the melody more freedom to travel

simple texture allows the melody more freedom to travel

between the beats and pitches. In this way an efficient

between the beats and pitches. In this way an efficient

expressive system is created. This system is perfectly

expressive system is created. This system is perfectly

illustrated in the piece Jiangnü Lei (Lady Meng Jiang’s

illustrated in the piece Jiangnü Lei (Lady Meng Jiang’s

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Tears), written for the solo-plucked string instrument,

Tears), written for the solo-plucked string instrument,

guzheng.

guzheng.

(Public domain picture)

(Public domain picture)

Before going into the details of the music, let’s first take

Before going into the details of the music, let’s first take

a brief look at the instrument. Like many of its neighboring

a brief look at the instrument. Like many of its neighboring

cultures, Chinese have a special fondness for plucked string

cultures, Chinese have a special fondness for plucked string

instruments, the history of the instrument family is almost as

instruments, the history of the instrument family is almost as

old as the history of the country itself. The strings on these

old as the history of the country itself. The strings on these

instruments are believed to resonate with human heartstrings,

instruments are believed to resonate with human heartstrings,

therefore, he who masters a plucked string instrument is the

therefore, he who masters a plucked string instrument is the

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one that can truly touch listeners’ hearts. For every musical

one that can truly touch listeners’ hearts. For every musical

figure or gesture played on the instrument is thought to cause

figure or gesture played on the instrument is thought to cause

a similar response in listeners’ emotions. Hence, a tremolo on

a similar response in listeners’ emotions. Hence, a tremolo on

these instruments is much more than a prolongation of sound,

these instruments is much more than a prolongation of sound,

it is a continuous vibration of the heart and an intensification

it is a continuous vibration of the heart and an intensification

of the atmosphere.

of the atmosphere.

Jiang Nu Lei was composed by a Chinese contemporary

Jiang Nu Lei was composed by a Chinese contemporary

composer, Yanjia Zhou, in 1984. Taking the tune from an

composer, Yanjia Zhou, in 1984. Taking the tune from an

ancient Chinese piece, Mr. Zhou composed this piece in the

ancient Chinese piece, Mr. Zhou composed this piece in the

style of Shannxi Guzheng music. The piece depicts the

style of Shannxi Guzheng music. The piece depicts the

melancholy and anger of a woman, Lady Meng Jiang, whose

melancholy and anger of a woman, Lady Meng Jiang, whose

husband was drafted to build the Great Wall. According to the

husband was drafted to build the Great Wall. According to the

legend, when she did not receive any news of her husband

legend, when she did not receive any news of her husband

after his departure, Lady Meng Jiang decided to bring him

after his departure, Lady Meng Jiang decided to bring him

some winter clothes. After travelling over mountains and

some winter clothes. After travelling over mountains and

rivers, she finally reached the Great Wall only to discover that

rivers, she finally reached the Great Wall only to discover that

he was dead. She fell in tears and wept until a part of the wall

he was dead. She fell in tears and wept until a part of the wall

collapsed, revealing her husband’s bones.

collapsed, revealing her husband’s bones.

The piece begins with a dramatic introduction. An

The piece begins with a dramatic introduction. An

accented tremolo immediately sets up an intense atmosphere.

accented tremolo immediately sets up an intense atmosphere.

This is followed by an arpeggio that accelerates as it ascends.

This is followed by an arpeggio that accelerates as it ascends.

Upon reaching the peak, the top note does not quite reach G,

Upon reaching the peak, the top note does not quite reach G,

but hangs on a pitch that’s about a quarter tone lower, as if the

but hangs on a pitch that’s about a quarter tone lower, as if the

tune has lost its strength and fails to reach its goal. Then, with

tune has lost its strength and fails to reach its goal. Then, with

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a downward rolling chord, the melody falls down to a C, also

a downward rolling chord, the melody falls down to a C, also

a quarter tone lower. Chinese musicians name these two off-

a quarter tone lower. Chinese musicians name these two off-

tuned notes “weeping notes” – as they vibrate on the lowered

tuned notes “weeping notes” – as they vibrate on the lowered

pitch, the distortion of the sound imitates the crying of the

pitch, the distortion of the sound imitates the crying of the

woman. This way of expressing stress is similar to the

woman. This way of expressing stress is similar to the

dissonant harmonies of the Western classical music, in which

dissonant harmonies of the Western classical music, in which

case the harshness created by the inharmonious intervals

case the harshness created by the inharmonious intervals

strikes the listeners and makes them physically feel the pain

strikes the listeners and makes them physically feel the pain

expressed in the music.

expressed in the music.

After the introduction, the main melody comes in, a

After the introduction, the main melody comes in, a

lonely, sorrowful tune. Unlike Western instrumental music,

lonely, sorrowful tune. Unlike Western instrumental music,

Chinese instrumental music is not absolute; all pieces are

Chinese instrumental music is not absolute; all pieces are

programmatic. This means they either tell a story or depict

programmatic. This means they either tell a story or depict

series of scenes or moods (hence all pieces have unique,

series of scenes or moods (hence all pieces have unique,

descriptive titles, not like a sonata or symphony). In my

descriptive titles, not like a sonata or symphony). In my

opinion, the melody of this piece presents an illustration of

opinion, the melody of this piece presents an illustration of

the emotional states of the main character. Beginning at a

the emotional states of the main character. Beginning at a

slow tempo, the lamentation of the lady is apparent from the

slow tempo, the lamentation of the lady is apparent from the

first phrase. The unstable dynamic level, along with the

first phrase. The unstable dynamic level, along with the

tremolo that lands with an agogic accent, creates an effect of

tremolo that lands with an agogic accent, creates an effect of

sobbing. A few accented weeping notes are used to enhance

sobbing. A few accented weeping notes are used to enhance

the pain of the character. Then, the sudden tremolo that slides

the pain of the character. Then, the sudden tremolo that slides

from G# to G breaks the sobbing and lets out a wail. The

from G# to G breaks the sobbing and lets out a wail. The

piece gradually picks up the pace, more dynamic contrasts are

piece gradually picks up the pace, more dynamic contrasts are

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used to build up the tension. With the addition of a series of

used to build up the tension. With the addition of a series of

downward rolling chords, the melancholy transforms into

downward rolling chords, the melancholy transforms into

anger, and the emotional state elevates to a new level. As the

anger, and the emotional state elevates to a new level. As the

tempo keeps accelerating, the melody eventually turns into

tempo keeps accelerating, the melody eventually turns into

long tremolos with wild arpeggios rolling up and down the

long tremolos with wild arpeggios rolling up and down the

instrument. The piece ends dramatically with an open octave.

instrument. The piece ends dramatically with an open octave.

Most Chinese traditional instrumental music is not theme

Most Chinese traditional instrumental music is not theme

based, this means it does not have a recurring tune to help its

based, this means it does not have a recurring tune to help its

development. The direction of the music is based on the

development. The direction of the music is based on the

progression of the plot. This is somewhat similar to late

progression of the plot. This is somewhat similar to late

nineteenth century Western opera, where the movement and

nineteenth century Western opera, where the movement and

direction of the melody depends on the meaning and structure

direction of the melody depends on the meaning and structure

of the text. In this way, the melody becomes a musical

of the text. In this way, the melody becomes a musical

illustration of the lyrics. To me, such a feature is also

illustration of the lyrics. To me, such a feature is also

presented in Jiang Nu Lei. In this piece, each phrase can be

presented in Jiang Nu Lei. In this piece, each phrase can be

interpreted as a depiction of a gesture or a scene, thus one can

interpreted as a depiction of a gesture or a scene, thus one can

almost act the entire piece out on the stage. For example, the

almost act the entire piece out on the stage. For example, the

beginning of the piece can be thought of as the footsteps of an

beginning of the piece can be thought of as the footsteps of an

exhausted woman, struck by the ill news, limping backwards,

exhausted woman, struck by the ill news, limping backwards,

almost falling. Then, with the downward rolling chord that

almost falling. Then, with the downward rolling chord that

lands on the weeping note, she collapses on the ground and

lands on the weeping note, she collapses on the ground and

lets out a soft moaning sound. Later in the piece, when the

lets out a soft moaning sound. Later in the piece, when the

atmosphere intensifies, melody turns into a series of repeated

atmosphere intensifies, melody turns into a series of repeated

notes. Such a way of expressing tension is commonly seen in

notes. Such a way of expressing tension is commonly seen in

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Chinese Opera. When becoming agitated, the character,

Chinese Opera. When becoming agitated, the character,

accompanied by the fast drum beats, would walk around the

accompanied by the fast drum beats, would walk around the

stage in hasty footsteps. Similarly in this particular piece, as

stage in hasty footsteps. Similarly in this particular piece, as

the repeated notes keep rising and developing into series of

the repeated notes keep rising and developing into series of

tremolos and rolling arpeggios, one can picture the lady

tremolos and rolling arpeggios, one can picture the lady

walking along the Great Wall, searching for her husband’s

walking along the Great Wall, searching for her husband’s

body. This continues to develop until the Great Wall, shaken

body. This continues to develop until the Great Wall, shaken

by the grief of the lady, finally collapses at the downward

by the grief of the lady, finally collapses at the downward

rolling chords and the long tremolos.

rolling chords and the long tremolos.

As one can see, by using tremolos and off-tuned notes,

As one can see, by using tremolos and off-tuned notes,

along with a certain degree of rhythmic liberty, the guzheng is

along with a certain degree of rhythmic liberty, the guzheng is

able to create highly expressive, theatric music.

able to create highly expressive, theatric music.

Jiang Nu Lei is a classic example of traditional Chinese

Jiang Nu Lei is a classic example of traditional Chinese

music. Though written in a relatively modern era, it inherited

music. Though written in a relatively modern era, it inherited

the musical style of the traditional Northwest music. Now

the musical style of the traditional Northwest music. Now

let’s look at the second piece Liushui (meaning flowing

let’s look at the second piece Liushui (meaning flowing

water), written for guqin.

water), written for guqin.

Compared to the guzheng, the guqin has a longer history

Compared to the guzheng, the guqin has a longer history

and tradition. Dating back over three thousand years, the

and tradition. Dating back over three thousand years, the

instrument was treasured by many scholars and literati. At

instrument was treasured by many scholars and literati. At

first, the guqin used silk strings; though its gentle tonal

first, the guqin used silk strings; though its gentle tonal

quality is praised and loved by musicians, the sound produced

quality is praised and loved by musicians, the sound produced

is too soft to be played on the stage; it was said that during

is too soft to be played on the stage; it was said that during

the soft passages, the sound is only audible within three steps

the soft passages, the sound is only audible within three steps

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of the performer. It wasn’t until the invention of metal strings

of the performer. It wasn’t until the invention of metal strings

that the instrument became stage appropriate. As a result, the

that the instrument became stage appropriate. As a result, the

primary function of the instrument was for self-entertainment

primary function of the instrument was for self-entertainment

and meditation, and consequently, music composed for this

and meditation, and consequently, music composed for this

instrument becomes increasingly personal and abstract.

instrument becomes increasingly personal and abstract.

Guqin music has three types of tones, san yin, fan yin and

Guqin music has three types of tones, san yin, fan yin and

an yin. The first tone symbolizes earth. Played by the right

an yin. The first tone symbolizes earth. Played by the right

hand on open strings, it has a deep sonority with long

hand on open strings, it has a deep sonority with long

vibrations. Fan yin is produced by playing the strings’

vibrations. Fan yin is produced by playing the strings’

overtone harmonics. With extremely gentle and mellow sound,

overtone harmonics. With extremely gentle and mellow sound,

it symbolizes heaven. The last tone, an yin is played by the

it symbolizes heaven. The last tone, an yin is played by the

left hand pressing and sliding on the string, determining the

left hand pressing and sliding on the string, determining the

pitch and producing a vibrato on the notes. It has dynamic

pitch and producing a vibrato on the notes. It has dynamic

range and tonal color. It symbolizes human power. All of the

range and tonal color. It symbolizes human power. All of the

ancient music of China is made up of these tones.

ancient music of China is made up of these tones.

Compared to Jiang Nu Lei, Liu Shui was composed much

Compared to Jiang Nu Lei, Liu Shui was composed much

earlier. This piece is usually attributed to Boya, a Chinese

earlier. This piece is usually attributed to Boya, a Chinese

diplomat living about 2500 years ago. Being a guqin master,

diplomat living about 2500 years ago. Being a guqin master,

he had a friend named Ziqi, who had highly musically

he had a friend named Ziqi, who had highly musically

sensitive ears. When Boya played Gaoshan (Majestic

sensitive ears. When Boya played Gaoshan (Majestic

Mountain), Ziqi precisely understood Boya’s state of mind.

Mountain), Ziqi precisely understood Boya’s state of mind.

Boya then played Liushui. Again, Ziqi pointed out that the

Boya then played Liushui. Again, Ziqi pointed out that the

piece was depicting streaming water. When Ziqi died, Boya

piece was depicting streaming water. When Ziqi died, Boya

was overwhelmed with grief. Claiming that no one would

was overwhelmed with grief. Claiming that no one would

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ever understood his music as well as Ziqi, he broke his

ever understood his music as well as Ziqi, he broke his

instrument and never played again. In Chinese culture, this

instrument and never played again. In Chinese culture, this

story is told as a way of praising friendship, demonstrating

story is told as a way of praising friendship, demonstrating

the value of good friends who really understand one another.

the value of good friends who really understand one another.

Yet from another point of view, one can also see that ancient

Yet from another point of view, one can also see that ancient

guqin music is highly personal and ambiguous, almost

guqin music is highly personal and ambiguous, almost

abstract. Without the right state of mind, it is very difficult to

abstract. Without the right state of mind, it is very difficult to

understand. As discussed above, all Chinese pieces are

understand. As discussed above, all Chinese pieces are

program music, they are written to describe or depict

program music, they are written to describe or depict

something. For indeed guqin music often does not describe

something. For indeed guqin music often does not describe

the subject itself, but the feeling it brings to the composer and

the subject itself, but the feeling it brings to the composer and

performer.

performer.

(in public domain: http://www.cn010w.com/bz/qpxz_leirong.asp?leirong_id=7111)

(in public domain: http://www.cn010w.com/bz/qpxz_leirong.asp?leirong_id=7111)

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The score shown above presents the first two sections of this

The score shown above presents the first two sections of this

nine-sectioned piece. The notes shown in the staff are a rough

nine-sectioned piece. The notes shown in the staff are a rough

transcription of the characters below. These characters are

transcription of the characters below. These characters are

taken from the old Chinese tablature score, indicating hand

taken from the old Chinese tablature score, indicating hand

positions and the approximate timing of each note. They lay

positions and the approximate timing of each note. They lay

out the rough structure of the piece. However, when it comes

out the rough structure of the piece. However, when it comes

to actual performance, the performer has a lot of liberty

to actual performance, the performer has a lot of liberty

deciding the exact time values of the notes as well as how to

deciding the exact time values of the notes as well as how to

slide around and decorate the written pitch. Thus, the music

slide around and decorate the written pitch. Thus, the music

does not, in strict terms, have a real meter. Without the bound

does not, in strict terms, have a real meter. Without the bound

of square rhythm or meter, a sense of spaciousness and

of square rhythm or meter, a sense of spaciousness and

timelessness is created.

timelessness is created.

(This picture is the old Chinese tablature in its original published form.

(This picture is the old Chinese tablature in its original published form.

In public domain, from https://ja.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/ファイル:Shenqi_Mipu_vol_3_pg_1.jpg)

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In public domain, from https://ja.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/ファイル:Shenqi_Mipu_vol_3_pg_1.jpg)

178

The piece starts peacefully at lower register with three

The piece starts peacefully at lower register with three

earth notes, C. Then, above the next one, a human note comes

earth notes, C. Then, above the next one, a human note comes

in sliding around A, and moves to C before it completely

in sliding around A, and moves to C before it completely

fades away. The pattern repeats itself for the next few

fades away. The pattern repeats itself for the next few

measures. The effect is like the ripples created when a piece

measures. The effect is like the ripples created when a piece

of stone falls into a perfectly stilled water surface. The

of stone falls into a perfectly stilled water surface. The

melody keeps shifting higher until it reaches the second

melody keeps shifting higher until it reaches the second

section, where the bass notes disappear, and the melody is

section, where the bass notes disappear, and the melody is

played in heaven tones. At this point, the rhythm becomes

played in heaven tones. At this point, the rhythm becomes

tighter, the note values shorter, and the felt tempo begins to

tighter, the note values shorter, and the felt tempo begins to

accelerate. During this acceleration, it seems that the

accelerate. During this acceleration, it seems that the

previously stilled water surface turns into a running spring. In

previously stilled water surface turns into a running spring. In

the following sections of the piece, tempo keeps accelerating

the following sections of the piece, tempo keeps accelerating

gradually, until a point when the melody turns into waves of

gradually, until a point when the melody turns into waves of

arpeggios running up and down. Amid these arpeggios, a line

arpeggios running up and down. Amid these arpeggios, a line

of human notes forms the melody. Yet the relationship

of human notes forms the melody. Yet the relationship

between the melody and arpeggios is nothing like what we

between the melody and arpeggios is nothing like what we

find in Liszt’s Un Sospiro etude. In the latter, the arpeggios

find in Liszt’s Un Sospiro etude. In the latter, the arpeggios

provide soft accompaniment that allows the melody to slowly

provide soft accompaniment that allows the melody to slowly

unfold. Yet in Liushui, the melody comes in and out, barely

unfold. Yet in Liushui, the melody comes in and out, barely

audible against the rolling waves, as if the human and earth

audible against the rolling waves, as if the human and earth

forces are battling ferociously against each other. After the

forces are battling ferociously against each other. After the

waves finally calm down, the tension diffuses as the rhythm

waves finally calm down, the tension diffuses as the rhythm

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loosens, and the sense of spaciousness returns. The piece ends

loosens, and the sense of spaciousness returns. The piece ends

peacefully with heaven notes.

peacefully with heaven notes.

Chinese people have always maintained a complex

Chinese people have always maintained a complex

feeling towards flowing water. The civilization originated

feeling towards flowing water. The civilization originated

alongside the Yellow River. The river nurtured and brought

alongside the Yellow River. The river nurtured and brought

prosperity to the nation; yet, due to its highly unpredictable

prosperity to the nation; yet, due to its highly unpredictable

flooding seasons, it brought terrible disaster during the floods.

flooding seasons, it brought terrible disaster during the floods.

Thus, to me, this piece provides an illustration of the complex

Thus, to me, this piece provides an illustration of the complex

relationships between man and nature. The beginning of the

relationships between man and nature. The beginning of the

piece depicts a peaceful atmosphere. As the human notes start

piece depicts a peaceful atmosphere. As the human notes start

to appear, one can picture a small settlement by the river. The

to appear, one can picture a small settlement by the river. The

river generously nourishes the humans, who, in turn, regard

river generously nourishes the humans, who, in turn, regard

the river as a heavenly gift. As the piece progresses and

the river as a heavenly gift. As the piece progresses and

tempo begins to accelerate, we can see an increasing

tempo begins to accelerate, we can see an increasing

interaction between human notes and earth notes. As the

interaction between human notes and earth notes. As the

settlement gradually grows into a village or a city, people use

settlement gradually grows into a village or a city, people use

the river as a tool for transportation, irrigation, and even for

the river as a tool for transportation, irrigation, and even for

war. Then, the river starts to show its brutal side. When

war. Then, the river starts to show its brutal side. When

waves of water crush against the human village, men become

waves of water crush against the human village, men become

no more powerful than the weak human notes among the

no more powerful than the weak human notes among the

waves; despite the desperate attempt to resist, they are buried

waves; despite the desperate attempt to resist, they are buried

by the river. After the flood is gone, the piece returns to the

by the river. After the flood is gone, the piece returns to the

calm atmosphere. The villagers come back to the riverside

calm atmosphere. The villagers come back to the riverside

and rebuild their home.

and rebuild their home. 180

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This is, of course, just one of the possible interpretations.

This is, of course, just one of the possible interpretations.

In fact, if one listens to different performers play, a very

In fact, if one listens to different performers play, a very

different picture may be concluded. Since the performer has

different picture may be concluded. Since the performer has

much freedom determining the exact rhythm and notes, the

much freedom determining the exact rhythm and notes, the

only limit becomes his imagination. Yet despite this fact,

only limit becomes his imagination. Yet despite this fact,

through this piece, we can perceive some of the aesthetic

through this piece, we can perceive some of the aesthetic

values of Chinese high culture. Though there is considerable

values of Chinese high culture. Though there is considerable

rise and fall in tension and emotional level, the performer

rise and fall in tension and emotional level, the performer

should never allow himself/herself to be led by emotions.

should never allow himself/herself to be led by emotions.

Elegance and physical grace is required at all times during

Elegance and physical grace is required at all times during

guqin performance. Thus, none of the dramatic expressions or

guqin performance. Thus, none of the dramatic expressions or

gestures we see in modern instrumental performance is seen

gestures we see in modern instrumental performance is seen

in guqin performance. The same behavioral aesthetic values

in guqin performance. The same behavioral aesthetic values

may also be seen in scholars and literati in ancient China. The

may also be seen in scholars and literati in ancient China. The

performance

performance

manner

reflects

one’s

character,

and

manner

reflects

one’s

character,

and

performance level suggest one’s wisdom. Possibly due to

performance level suggest one’s wisdom. Possibly due to

these factors, this instrument is considered to be the

these factors, this instrument is considered to be the

instrument of the sages.

instrument of the sages.

Chinese instrumental music has undergone thousands of

Chinese instrumental music has undergone thousands of

years of development; its unique expressive system is shaped

years of development; its unique expressive system is shaped

by the culture in which the music is nurtured. In this article,

by the culture in which the music is nurtured. In this article,

we have seen how the guzheng is able to create intensely

we have seen how the guzheng is able to create intensely

emotional and theatrical work using relatively few notes, and

emotional and theatrical work using relatively few notes, and

we have also looked far back into ancient Chinese music, and

we have also looked far back into ancient Chinese music, and

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have seen the disciplined freedom of the performer. Due to a

have seen the disciplined freedom of the performer. Due to a

variety of factors, ancient China never had a thriving large

variety of factors, ancient China never had a thriving large

ensemble culture. Yet despite this, no one can deny the

ensemble culture. Yet despite this, no one can deny the

individualistic beauty and value of the music. The special

individualistic beauty and value of the music. The special

sounds that these instruments produce, and the sophisticated

sounds that these instruments produce, and the sophisticated

writing technique, as well as the aesthetic values; these are

writing technique, as well as the aesthetic values; these are

golden treasures valuable not only to the Chinese nation, but

golden treasures valuable not only to the Chinese nation, but

also to the music world at large.

also to the music world at large.

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The Taint of Determinateness – The East

The Taint of Determinateness – The East

and Buddhism from the Perspective of

and Buddhism from the Perspective of

Hegel

Hegel

by Klaus Vieweg (translated by Timothy Huson)

by Klaus Vieweg (translated by Timothy Huson)

Translator's Introduction

Translator's Introduction

Klaus Vieweg’s essay deals with a synthesis of Eastern and

Klaus Vieweg’s essay deals with a synthesis of Eastern and

Western thought, more specifically Buddhism and Hegel,

Western thought, more specifically Buddhism and Hegel,

and his story is told from the perspective of Hegel, with

and his story is told from the perspective of Hegel, with

Eastern thought, Chinese thought, and Buddhism, presented

Eastern thought, Chinese thought, and Buddhism, presented

through the lens of Hegel. Here is not the place to critique

through the lens of Hegel. Here is not the place to critique

Hegel’s understanding of the East – that has been done

Hegel’s understanding of the East – that has been done

plenty, fairly and unfairly – but rather, I want to give the

plenty, fairly and unfairly – but rather, I want to give the

reader a perspective from which to enter into Vieweg’s

reader a perspective from which to enter into Vieweg’s

essay, though I will refrain from interpreting it. That Klaus

essay, though I will refrain from interpreting it. That Klaus

Vieweg is a leading Hegel scholar in the West means little.

Vieweg is a leading Hegel scholar in the West means little.

Important is that he is one of a dwindling number of Western

Important is that he is one of a dwindling number of Western

philosophers worth reading, because he takes the trouble,

philosophers worth reading, because he takes the trouble,

with the most difficult kind of philosophical writing, to make

with the most difficult kind of philosophical writing, to make

his thought relevant to the educated public and deal with

his thought relevant to the educated public and deal with

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issues on the cusp of today’s cultural development and

issues on the cusp of today’s cultural development and

cultural problems.

cultural problems.

When reading such a careful and thoughtful study of

When reading such a careful and thoughtful study of

Hegel, it is a time to banish from your mind all of the clichés

Hegel, it is a time to banish from your mind all of the clichés

you may have heard about him in an introductory class on

you may have heard about him in an introductory class on

political philosophy. As Klaus shows us, Hegel’s concrete

political philosophy. As Klaus shows us, Hegel’s concrete

thought is much more complicated and variegated, to the

thought is much more complicated and variegated, to the

point of contradicting the shallow textbook information. The

point of contradicting the shallow textbook information. The

result is a Hegel of immense interest in respect to the

result is a Hegel of immense interest in respect to the

potential for bridging a supposed gap between Chinese

potential for bridging a supposed gap between Chinese

thought and the West. Hegel is certainly not the only thinker

thought and the West. Hegel is certainly not the only thinker

useful for such a bridging – Lin Yutang, from a very

useful for such a bridging – Lin Yutang, from a very

different perspective, made such a bridging the explicit

different perspective, made such a bridging the explicit

theme of his life’s work. But Hegel is of special interest due,

theme of his life’s work. But Hegel is of special interest due,

first of all, to the degree to which his thought is deeply

first of all, to the degree to which his thought is deeply

rooted in Western philosophical tradition and Western

rooted in Western philosophical tradition and Western

spiritual tradition in general (unlike contemporary Western

spiritual tradition in general (unlike contemporary Western

philosophy, which may, after all, turn out to be but a

philosophy, which may, after all, turn out to be but a

momentary aberration in the tradition of serious thought),

momentary aberration in the tradition of serious thought),

and to the degree to which Hegel has directly impacted not

and to the degree to which Hegel has directly impacted not

only Western philosophy, but Western culture in general,

only Western philosophy, but Western culture in general,

both directly and indirectly through the influence of

both directly and indirectly through the influence of

numerous astute minds in the Hegelian aftermath – Marx,

numerous astute minds in the Hegelian aftermath – Marx,

Kierkegaard, and Heidegger, to name only the most obvious.

Kierkegaard, and Heidegger, to name only the most obvious.

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184

Hegel is out of fashion for the moment, as is Buddhism

Hegel is out of fashion for the moment, as is Buddhism

in China. But in both cases we could say something similar,

in China. But in both cases we could say something similar,

they each no longer sustain such popular thematic interests

they each no longer sustain such popular thematic interests

in each respective culture precisely to the degree that these

in each respective culture precisely to the degree that these

streams of thought have already been largely absorbed and

streams of thought have already been largely absorbed and

disseminated throughout the respective cultures. In both

disseminated throughout the respective cultures. In both

cases, Hegel and Buddhism, the thought goes to the very

cases, Hegel and Buddhism, the thought goes to the very

core of existence. Neither Hegel nor Buddhists could be

core of existence. Neither Hegel nor Buddhists could be

accused of staring at the wall of Plato’s cave. With such

accused of staring at the wall of Plato’s cave. With such

penetrating thought into the meaning of reality itself, it is no

penetrating thought into the meaning of reality itself, it is no

surprise that there is significant overlap between them, even

surprise that there is significant overlap between them, even

if there are also significant differences.

if there are also significant differences.

Vieweg starts by locating the moment of Eastern thought in

Vieweg starts by locating the moment of Eastern thought in

the context of two Hegelian transitions – from the East to the

the context of two Hegelian transitions – from the East to the

Greek world and from the Greek world to the modern world.

Greek world and from the Greek world to the modern world.

While that picture would seem to leave Eastern thought, and

While that picture would seem to leave Eastern thought, and

China, in Hegel’s sublated past, the nature of Hegel’s

China, in Hegel’s sublated past, the nature of Hegel’s

thought is such that the negated past will always recur in a

thought is such that the negated past will always recur in a

new form. So it is not a surprise to see similarities, in

new form. So it is not a surprise to see similarities, in

Hegel’s scheme of world philosophy, between the East,

Hegel’s scheme of world philosophy, between the East,

including Chinese thought, and various stages of Western

including Chinese thought, and various stages of Western

thought, including Hegel’s own.

thought, including Hegel’s own.

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Vieweg first locates Buddhism, the Asian way of

Vieweg first locates Buddhism, the Asian way of

imagining, at the point of religious consciousness in Hegel’s

imagining, at the point of religious consciousness in Hegel’s

thought, “a specific combination of philosophical thought

thought, “a specific combination of philosophical thought

and religious imagination.” He then goes on to characterize

and religious imagination.” He then goes on to characterize

Buddhist consciousness, in Hegel’s framework, as “quiet

Buddhist consciousness, in Hegel’s framework, as “quiet

being-in-itself” (das stille Insichsein), which has its Western

being-in-itself” (das stille Insichsein), which has its Western

parallel in the Pyrrhonian skepticism of classical Greece.

parallel in the Pyrrhonian skepticism of classical Greece.

This consciousness takes a form of abstract universalism

This consciousness takes a form of abstract universalism

and not as individuality active in the world or of reflection

and not as individuality active in the world or of reflection

in the sense of subjectivity over against the world as object.

in the sense of subjectivity over against the world as object.

As a landmark, I can mention the fundamental Cartesian

As a landmark, I can mention the fundamental Cartesian

move to the thinking subject as substance – cogito sum – so

move to the thinking subject as substance – cogito sum – so

emphasized by Hegel. But here the dialectical nature of

emphasized by Hegel. But here the dialectical nature of

Hegel’s thought appears, and the earlier abstract stage

Hegel’s thought appears, and the earlier abstract stage

(Pyrrho, Buddhism) reappears as a negation, and it is with

(Pyrrho, Buddhism) reappears as a negation, and it is with

Spinoza that Vieweg’s Hegel makes this return, and he also

Spinoza that Vieweg’s Hegel makes this return, and he also

shows how this moment of quiet in-itself-being appears as a

shows how this moment of quiet in-itself-being appears as a

moment in other facets of Hegel’s thought, such as in his

moment in other facets of Hegel’s thought, such as in his

discussions of objective spirit, or political culture in the

discussions of objective spirit, or political culture in the

broad sense.

broad sense.

Vieweg finds the further locations of the Buddhist

Vieweg finds the further locations of the Buddhist

moment in Hegel’s depiction of the beautiful soul and

moment in Hegel’s depiction of the beautiful soul and

similar sorts of abstract thought that recur in the context of

similar sorts of abstract thought that recur in the context of

Western art and poetry.

Western art and poetry. 186

186

As a recurring moment in Hegel’s vision of Western

As a recurring moment in Hegel’s vision of Western

thought, the abstract quietude of Buddhism, also a feature of

thought, the abstract quietude of Buddhism, also a feature of

Chinese

Chinese

Taoism

and

Chan,

envisions

a

constant

Taoism

and

Chan,

envisions

a

constant

intermingling and back and forth between the East and the

intermingling and back and forth between the East and the

West,

West,

a

synthesis

between

imagination

and

a

synthesis

between

imagination

and

conceptualization, between universalism and individualism.

conceptualization, between universalism and individualism.

Hegel is currently out of fashion in the West, as is Eastern

Hegel is currently out of fashion in the West, as is Eastern

thought in China. But when we start to see an ebb in the

thought in China. But when we start to see an ebb in the

infatuation with narrowly one-sided rationalism, it may

infatuation with narrowly one-sided rationalism, it may

again be time for a new synthesis of the central moments of

again be time for a new synthesis of the central moments of

East and West.

East and West.

The Taint of Determinateness – The East and Buddhism from the Perspective of Hegel

The Taint of Determinateness – The East and Buddhism from the Perspective of Hegel

In the context of the relationship between East and West, a

In the context of the relationship between East and West, a

select facet of Hegel's understanding of Buddhism will be

select facet of Hegel's understanding of Buddhism will be

illuminated: According to Hegel, the West forms a

illuminated: According to Hegel, the West forms a

translation, a sublation of the East in the sense of the three

translation, a sublation of the East in the sense of the three

Hegelian connotations – preservation, overcoming and

Hegelian connotations – preservation, overcoming and

elevation. This reversed translation, this transformation or

elevation. This reversed translation, this transformation or

replication, takes place in two basic steps:

replication, takes place in two basic steps:

The first sublation of the East is carried out in the

The first sublation of the East is carried out in the

transition to antiquity, represented in the myth of Zeus

transition to antiquity, represented in the myth of Zeus

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stealing Europa, the daughter of the Phoenician king, and

stealing Europa, the daughter of the Phoenician king, and

taking her to Greece.

taking her to Greece.

The second sublation takes place, beginning with the

The second sublation takes place, beginning with the

Renaissance, in the modern period, constituting in and

Renaissance, in the modern period, constituting in and

unfolding as a unity of ancient classicism and the East.

unfolding as a unity of ancient classicism and the East.

The first “translation”: that of antiquity

The first “translation”: that of antiquity

With regard to this first “translation,” the origin of Greek

With regard to this first “translation,” the origin of Greek

culture, a few aspects will be mentioned, some moments of

culture, a few aspects will be mentioned, some moments of

the marriage of Zeus to the Asian daughter:

the marriage of Zeus to the Asian daughter:

The beginnings of Greek culture came from outside, its

The beginnings of Greek culture came from outside, its

actual establishment beginning with the arrival of foreigners.

actual establishment beginning with the arrival of foreigners.

In the Asian world, Hegel sees the land of the morning, of

In the Asian world, Hegel sees the land of the morning, of

the rising (of the sun), of the beginning, of the inception in

the rising (of the sun), of the beginning, of the inception in

the widest sense. But this beginning was “transformed by the

the widest sense. But this beginning was “transformed by the

independent spirit of the Greeks.” Hegel speaks of a mixture

independent spirit of the Greeks.” Hegel speaks of a mixture

of the introduced – Indian, Persian, Egyptian, Jewish – and

of the introduced – Indian, Persian, Egyptian, Jewish – and

the indigenous. The Greeks were “transforming creators”

the indigenous. The Greeks were “transforming creators”

who led an amphibian existence, living on land and on sea,

who led an amphibian existence, living on land and on sea,

the latter allowing them “to float freely on the waves.”

the latter allowing them “to float freely on the waves.”

(Werke 12, 294, 280) 12 This is an essential foundation for

(Werke 12, 294, 280) 12 This is an essential foundation for

12 All references to Hegel are from Hegel, Georg Wilhelm Friedrich: Werke: in 20 Bd., Frankfurt am Main: Suhrkamp (1986), cited by: volume,

12 All references to Hegel are from Hegel, Georg Wilhelm Friedrich: Werke: in 20 Bd., Frankfurt am Main: Suhrkamp (1986), cited by: volume,

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188

the forming of the thought of freedom, of subjectivity. As in

the forming of the thought of freedom, of subjectivity. As in

the case of their Asiatic predecessors, the cosmopolitan, sea-

the case of their Asiatic predecessors, the cosmopolitan, sea-

travelling Phoenicians, everything, according to Hegel, was

travelling Phoenicians, everything, according to Hegel, was

now left up to human activity, left up to prudent courage, to

now left up to human activity, left up to prudent courage, to

skill, to reason. This liberation from the traditional

skill, to reason. This liberation from the traditional

relationship to nature was cultivated by the Greeks, but

relationship to nature was cultivated by the Greeks, but

inspired by Easterners. In Greek mythology, this Eastern

inspired by Easterners. In Greek mythology, this Eastern

marriage gift has been preserved with gratitude – especially

marriage gift has been preserved with gratitude – especially

mentioned are the Phoenician letters Cadmus brought, the

mentioned are the Phoenician letters Cadmus brought, the

iron and the oil tree of the Scythians, and the introduction of

iron and the oil tree of the Scythians, and the introduction of

agriculture by Triptolemos, instructed by Ceres. (Werke 12,

agriculture by Triptolemos, instructed by Ceres. (Werke 12,

280) Hegel thus addresses the two strata of Greek culture

280) Hegel thus addresses the two strata of Greek culture

that Nietzsche later describes as the Apollonian and the

that Nietzsche later describes as the Apollonian and the

Dionysian. In a well-known passage, Hegel refers to the

Dionysian. In a well-known passage, Hegel refers to the

ancient Eleusinian mysteries, to the relationship between the

ancient Eleusinian mysteries, to the relationship between the

Demeter (Ceres) cult and the Dionysus (Bacchus) cult.

Demeter (Ceres) cult and the Dionysus (Bacchus) cult.

(Werke 3, 91) Both were of Eastern origin and not popular

(Werke 3, 91) Both were of Eastern origin and not popular

with the Ionian nobility, Dionysus probably only later was

with the Ionian nobility, Dionysus probably only later was

granted hospitality at Delphi. Hegel understands both cults

granted hospitality at Delphi. Hegel understands both cults

in the context of the principle of negativity, of nothingness,

in the context of the principle of negativity, of nothingness,

of the “absolute certainty of the nothingness of sensual

of the “absolute certainty of the nothingness of sensual

things.” (Werke 3, 91). These cultural patterns have thus

things.” (Werke 3, 91). These cultural patterns have thus

been present since the origin of European culture, but not

been present since the origin of European culture, but not

page.

page.

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dominant, rather always as an undercurrent (continuously

dominant, rather always as an undercurrent (continuously

influential).

influential).

Eastern, especially Indian, Persian, Phoenician, and

Eastern, especially Indian, Persian, Phoenician, and

Egyptian ideas had played a considerable part in the origin

Egyptian ideas had played a considerable part in the origin

of Greek philosophy. Especially the early Ionic philosophers

of Greek philosophy. Especially the early Ionic philosophers

of nature, whose opinions were articulated against the

of nature, whose opinions were articulated against the

13

background of Middle Eastern and Eastern thought, as well

background of Middle Eastern and Eastern thought, 13 as well

as Plotinus and Pyrrho, represent the linking of the foreign

as Plotinus and Pyrrho, represent the linking of the foreign

and the indigenous. Diogenes and others report on many

and the indigenous. Diogenes and others report on many

travels of Greek thinkers and their contacts in the East –

travels of Greek thinkers and their contacts in the East –

“Thales associated with the Egyptians, Solon traveled to

“Thales associated with the Egyptians, Solon traveled to

Egypt, Cyprus, Libya and Lydia [...] Pythagoras visited

Egypt, Cyprus, Libya and Lydia [...] Pythagoras visited

Egypt, learned the Egyptian language [...] Democritus,

Egypt, learned the Egyptian language [...] Democritus,

according to Demetrius and Antisthenes, traveled as far as

according to Demetrius and Antisthenes, traveled as far as

Egypt, Persia and the Red Sea and, according to some other

Egypt, Persia and the Red Sea and, according to some other

unspecified authorities, actually visited India, where he is

unspecified authorities, actually visited India, where he is

associated with the Gymnosophists.” Everard Flintoff adds

associated with the Gymnosophists.” Everard Flintoff adds

that many of the Greek philosophers were very much in

that many of the Greek philosophers were very much in

search of knowledge in other regions, beginning long before

search of knowledge in other regions, beginning long before

the time of Pyrrho; they were in an intense conversation with

the time of Pyrrho; they were in an intense conversation with

the thinkers of the East. 14 According to Antigonus of

the thinkers of the East. 14 According to Antigonus of

13

13

See Andreas Graeser: Einleitung. Philosophen des Altertums, hrsg. v. Michael Erler/Andreas Graeser, Darmstadt 2000, S.1-2. Vgl. auch die Arbeiten von U. Hölscher und W. Burkert. 14 Everard Flintoff: Pyrrho and India, in: Phronesis, 25 (1980), S. 89.

See Andreas Graeser: Einleitung. Philosophen des Altertums, hrsg. v. Michael Erler/Andreas Graeser, Darmstadt 2000, S.1-2. Vgl. auch die Arbeiten von U. Hölscher und W. Burkert. 14 Everard Flintoff: Pyrrho and India, in: Phronesis, 25 (1980), S. 89.

190

190

Carystus and Diogenes, Pyrrho, as a companion of

Carystus and Diogenes, Pyrrho, as a companion of

Alexander the Great, had the doctrines of the Indian Magi

Alexander the Great, had the doctrines of the Indian Magi

brought with him to Greece 15 and then amalgamated with

brought with him to Greece 15 and then amalgamated with

Greek views of happiness. According to Flintoff, Pyrrho

Greek views of happiness. According to Flintoff, Pyrrho

fundamentally altered both his way of life and his thinking as

fundamentally altered both his way of life and his thinking as

a result of the Indian experiences (with Hindu, Jainist, and

a result of the Indian experiences (with Hindu, Jainist, and

pre-Buddhist ideas). Flintoff emphasizes the following

pre-Buddhist ideas). Flintoff emphasizes the following

significant affinities between the Indian spirit and the

significant affinities between the Indian spirit and the

original Pyrrhonism, that of Indian inheritance: a) “the

original Pyrrhonism, that of Indian inheritance: a) “the

tranquil consciousness,” the Pyrrhonic calm (ataraxia,

tranquil consciousness,” the Pyrrhonic calm (ataraxia,

adiaphoria, aphasia)

16

; b) the antinomic-isosthenic

17

adiaphoria, aphasia)

16

; b) the antinomic-isosthenic

17

argumentation; c) the form of argumentation of the

argumentation; c) the form of argumentation of the

quadrilemma, 18 d) the apragmosyne, 19 and e) the vagabond

quadrilemma, 18 d) the apragmosyne, 19 and e) the vagabond

form of life (vagrancy). 20

form of life (vagrancy). 20

15

15

Diogenes Laertios IX, 69. Three Greek terms meaning tranquility, indifference, and speechlessness (perplexity), respectively. [Tr.] 17 Antinomia, Greek term meaning conflict between laws; isosthenia, Greek term meaning equipollence or equality in force. [Tr.] 18 Quadrilemma, a four-part argument pattern employed by Pyrrhonian skeptics: arguing (affirmative) that things both do exist and do not exist, and (negatively) denying that things either exist or do not exist. Similar argument forms are found in Indian thought. [Tr.] 19 Apragmosyne, in Liddel-Scott, freedom from politics, love of a quiet life. This name applied to a practice of detachment among Pyrrhonian skeptics. [Tr.] 20 Everard Flintoff: Pyrrho and India, S. 91-100.

Diogenes Laertios IX, 69. Three Greek terms meaning tranquility, indifference, and speechlessness (perplexity), respectively. [Tr.] 17 Antinomia, Greek term meaning conflict between laws; isosthenia, Greek term meaning equipollence or equality in force. [Tr.] 18 Quadrilemma, a four-part argument pattern employed by Pyrrhonian skeptics: arguing (affirmative) that things both do exist and do not exist, and (negatively) denying that things either exist or do not exist. Similar argument forms are found in Indian thought. [Tr.] 19 Apragmosyne, in Liddel-Scott, freedom from politics, love of a quiet life. This name applied to a practice of detachment among Pyrrhonian skeptics. [Tr.] 20 Everard Flintoff: Pyrrho and India, S. 91-100.

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Nietzsche got to the point regarding this connection to

Nietzsche got to the point regarding this connection to

India: Pyrrho was the Buddhist and nihilist for Greece. 21 A

India: Pyrrho was the Buddhist and nihilist for Greece. 21 A

Pyrrhonian, Lukian of Samosata, who came from Syria, had

Pyrrhonian, Lukian of Samosata, who came from Syria, had

already gotten to the point on this issue in ancient times: It

already gotten to the point on this issue in ancient times: It

was to the Indians that the goddess of Philosophy first

was to the Indians that the goddess of Philosophy first

appeared. From Hegel's point of view, on the other hand, it

appeared. From Hegel's point of view, on the other hand, it

is the resulting tension between the principles of Pyrrho and

is the resulting tension between the principles of Pyrrho and

Parmenides that represents the beginning of philosophy in

Parmenides that represents the beginning of philosophy in

22

the strict sense. Actual philosophy, thought thinking itself,

the strict sense. 22 Actual philosophy, thought thinking itself,

thus begins in the Greek world, freedom of thought is the

thus begins in the Greek world, freedom of thought is the

condition of philosophy's inception. (Werke 18, 116-117)

condition of philosophy's inception. (Werke 18, 116-117)

The first two concepts of Hegel's Science of Logic, as is well

The first two concepts of Hegel's Science of Logic, as is well

known,

known,

have

their

original

historical

forms

with

Parmenidean being and Buddhist-Pyrrhonic nothingness.

have

their

original

historical

forms

with

Parmenidean being and Buddhist-Pyrrhonic nothingness.

Just as, in the Lycurgeia of Aeschylus, Lycurgus begins

Just as, in the Lycurgeia of Aeschylus, Lycurgus begins

the struggle with Dionysus, likewise Western philosophy

the struggle with Dionysus, likewise Western philosophy

right away, in its actual founding act, takes a strong position

right away, in its actual founding act, takes a strong position

21

21

Friedrich Nietzsche: Aus dem Nachlaß der Achtziger Jahre. Kritische Studienausgabe 13, 277. Nietzsche also notes: “Pyrrho. Stage of Buddhism attained.” – “a Buddhist already Greek, a Buddha himself.” (13, 265, 347). 22 “Thinking must be for itself, in its freedom come into existence, tear itself apart from what is natural and, from being buried, emerge into intuition [...] The real beginning of philosophy is to be made where the absolute no longer exists as representation [Vorstellung], but rather free thought not only thinks the absolute, [but] grasps the idea [die Idee] itself.” (Werke 18, 116)

Friedrich Nietzsche: Aus dem Nachlaß der Achtziger Jahre. Kritische Studienausgabe 13, 277. Nietzsche also notes: “Pyrrho. Stage of Buddhism attained.” – “a Buddhist already Greek, a Buddha himself.” (13, 265, 347). 22 “Thinking must be for itself, in its freedom come into existence, tear itself apart from what is natural and, from being buried, emerge into intuition [...] The real beginning of philosophy is to be made where the absolute no longer exists as representation [Vorstellung], but rather free thought not only thinks the absolute, [but] grasps the idea [die Idee] itself.” (Werke 18, 116)

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against the Eastern position, and this is indispensable for the

against the Eastern position, and this is indispensable for the

structure of independence.

structure of independence.

But in repelling, the other must be taken into

But in repelling, the other must be taken into

consideration. In the strong attacks by Parmenides against

consideration. In the strong attacks by Parmenides against

the protagonists of nothingness, we read that “to hold

the protagonists of nothingness, we read that “to hold

nothingness for truth is the path of error on which those two-

nothingness for truth is the path of error on which those two-

headed mortals that know nothing wander about” like

headed mortals that know nothing wander about” like

marveling, confused blind men. Being, on the other hand, is

marveling, confused blind men. Being, on the other hand, is

unchangeable, rests, and is fixed in itself, for it is

unchangeable, rests, and is fixed in itself, for it is

“completely the same as itself.” But it is not taken as what is

“completely the same as itself.” But it is not taken as what is

merely indeterminate – in the identity of thought and being

merely indeterminate – in the identity of thought and being

lies the determinateness. Nothingness, according to Hegel,

lies the determinateness. Nothingness, according to Hegel,

turns itself around, it is a being as soon as it is thought.

turns itself around, it is a being as soon as it is thought.

(Werke 18, 288) Thus, at the beginning of philosophy, at the

(Werke 18, 288) Thus, at the beginning of philosophy, at the

dawn of philosophy, the principles and protagonists of being

dawn of philosophy, the principles and protagonists of being

and nothingness, East and West are systematically

and nothingness, East and West are systematically

juxtaposed in a surprising way. At the origin of European

juxtaposed in a surprising way. At the origin of European

thought, Parmenides attempted the exclusion of the other

thought, Parmenides attempted the exclusion of the other

and Hegel, in the modern period, its inclusion.

and Hegel, in the modern period, its inclusion.

Again, Nietzsche was the one who impressively pointed

Again, Nietzsche was the one who impressively pointed

out the difference between the Eastern and the Western:

out the difference between the Eastern and the Western:

“Parmenides' thought bears no influence at all from the

“Parmenides' thought bears no influence at all from the

intoxicating dark fragrance of the Indian as such, which is

intoxicating dark fragrance of the Indian as such, which is

perhaps not wholly imperceptible in Pythagoras and

perhaps not wholly imperceptible in Pythagoras and

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Empedocles.” Parmenides' being could be the most pure and

Empedocles.” Parmenides' being could be the most pure and

“completely bloodless abstraction,” “the rigid death-repose

“completely bloodless abstraction,” “the rigid death-repose

of the coldest concept,” “the odorless, the colorless, the

of the coldest concept,” “the odorless, the colorless, the

soulless” – a philosophy “pouring from ice,” the “coldest

soulless” – a philosophy “pouring from ice,” the “coldest

piercing light.” Nietzsche sees the contrast both in respect to

piercing light.” Nietzsche sees the contrast both in respect to

the content, the thought of fixed, immovable being, the

the content, the thought of fixed, immovable being, the

“audacious insight into the identity of thought and being,”

“audacious insight into the identity of thought and being,”

the “terrifying energy of striving for certainty,” and in

the “terrifying energy of striving for certainty,” and in

respect to the form of communication, the expression of

respect to the form of communication, the expression of

thoughts. This Greek “truth, ascending the rope-ladder of

thoughts. This Greek “truth, ascending the rope-ladder of

logic,” this icy coldness of the concept, turns against the

logic,” this icy coldness of the concept, turns against the

Eastern, what is vivid, mythical, colored, full of fantasy. The

Eastern, what is vivid, mythical, colored, full of fantasy. The

new form of the Greeks lacks the form of the intuitive, of the

new form of the Greeks lacks the form of the intuitive, of the

symbol, of allegory, Nietzsche deems this logos to be the

symbol, of allegory, Nietzsche deems this logos to be the

“horror of all fantasy.” 23 Hegel too speaks in this sense of

“horror of all fantasy.” 23 Hegel too speaks in this sense of

European philosophy as the “painter of gray in gray.”

European philosophy as the “painter of gray in gray.”

The second “translation”: that of modernity

The second “translation”: that of modernity

For the beginning of philosophy in the European modern age,

For the beginning of philosophy in the European modern age,

Descartes stands on the one side of the European pattern,

Descartes stands on the one side of the European pattern,

and on the other side, bearing the stamp of the East, are

and on the other side, bearing the stamp of the East, are

Bruno and Spinoza, as well as the Pyrrhonian, Montaigne. In

Bruno and Spinoza, as well as the Pyrrhonian, Montaigne. In

23 Nietzsche: Die Philosophen im tragischen Zeitalter der Griechen. Kritische Studienausgabe 1, p. 835-844.

23 Nietzsche: Die Philosophen im tragischen Zeitalter der Griechen. Kritische Studienausgabe 1, p. 835-844.

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the pantheism of one substance, which Hegel describes as

the pantheism of one substance, which Hegel describes as

Spinozism, consists “the general view of Eastern poets,

Spinozism, consists “the general view of Eastern poets,

historians, and philosophers.” (Werke 19, 519) Since both

historians, and philosophers.” (Werke 19, 519) Since both

Descartes and Montaigne were strongly influenced by

Descartes and Montaigne were strongly influenced by

skeptical thought, Pierre Bayle sees in Sextus Empiricus the

skeptical thought, Pierre Bayle sees in Sextus Empiricus the

true father of modern European philosophy. Thus, the origin

true father of modern European philosophy. Thus, the origin

of modern European philosophy was accompanied by the

of modern European philosophy was accompanied by the

Eastern-colored patterns of Pyrrhonism and Pantheism, by

Eastern-colored patterns of Pyrrhonism and Pantheism, by

the reception and transformation of the Eastern.

the reception and transformation of the Eastern.

Hegel attributes to modern art a particularly prominent

Hegel attributes to modern art a particularly prominent

presence of the Eastern, in which context one must go back

presence of the Eastern, in which context one must go back

to Hegel's interpretation of the modern novel with respect to

to Hegel's interpretation of the modern novel with respect to

Goethe.

Goethe.

From

this

context,

drawing

close

to

Hegel's

From

this

context,

drawing

close

to

Hegel's

interpretation of Buddhism could be promising. Of course,

interpretation of Buddhism could be promising. Of course,

the focus of his activity is Indian Buddhism, especially

the focus of his activity is Indian Buddhism, especially

Lamaism. Here, the basic pillars of the Hegelian point of

Lamaism. Here, the basic pillars of the Hegelian point of

view ought to be elaborated, including some that have not

view ought to be elaborated, including some that have not

been taken into account very much in previous accounts.

been taken into account very much in previous accounts.

Here I have largely refrained from assessing the validity of

Here I have largely refrained from assessing the validity of

Hegel's understanding of Buddhism, since this would require

Hegel's understanding of Buddhism, since this would require

extensive investigations into the distinct variations of

extensive investigations into the distinct variations of

Buddhist teaching. I will limit myself to the central lines of

Buddhist teaching. I will limit myself to the central lines of

Hegel's interpretation, but this perhaps has the advantage of

Hegel's interpretation, but this perhaps has the advantage of

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indicating, first of all, the exact places in Hegel's thought

indicating, first of all, the exact places in Hegel's thought

where Buddhism is the theme.

where Buddhism is the theme.

Religion and Philosophy – Imagination and Concept

Religion and Philosophy – Imagination and Concept

This aspect permeates Hegel's entire picture of Buddhism,

This aspect permeates Hegel's entire picture of Buddhism,

emerging as a specific combination of philosophical thought

emerging as a specific combination of philosophical thought

and religious imagination, as a religious conception of the

and religious imagination, as a religious conception of the

world that can be taken up by philosophy. (Werke 18, 138)

world that can be taken up by philosophy. (Werke 18, 138)

The universal principles found in this viewpoint are related

The universal principles found in this viewpoint are related

to philosophy. This Asian way of imagining, that includes a

to philosophy. This Asian way of imagining, that includes a

philosophical

philosophical

thought

in

which

imagination

and

thought

in

which

imagination

and

conceptualizing are linked, is characterized by Hegel more

conceptualizing are linked, is characterized by Hegel more

specifically as “pantheism in the form of religion.” 24 In this

specifically as “pantheism in the form of religion.” 24 In this

between, in this amalgam of philosophy and religion, there

between, in this amalgam of philosophy and religion, there

exists one of the essential forms of expression of the Asian,

exists one of the essential forms of expression of the Asian,

a natural Spirituality. Deep thoughts 25 are made present,

a natural Spirituality. Deep thoughts 25 are made present,

imagined, pictorialized in a particular religious form.

imagined, pictorialized in a particular religious form.

Dominant in the East is the pictorial (even a pictorial script),

Dominant in the East is the pictorial (even a pictorial script),

24

24

See Hegel: Werke 18, p. 147-170; Hegel: Werke 10, p. 379-393. “Oriental philosophy is religious philosophy; and this the reason to be given for suggesting that the oriental idea of religion also be treated as philosophy.” (Werke 18, 138). 25 “In Persian and Indian religion very deep, sublime, speculative thoughts are expressed.” Werke 18, 84.

See Hegel: Werke 18, p. 147-170; Hegel: Werke 10, p. 379-393. “Oriental philosophy is religious philosophy; and this the reason to be given for suggesting that the oriental idea of religion also be treated as philosophy.” (Werke 18, 138). 25 “In Persian and Indian religion very deep, sublime, speculative thoughts are expressed.” Werke 18, 84.

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the combination between picture and writing, the form of

the combination between picture and writing, the form of

imagination – “we think in pictures.” 26

imagination – “we think in pictures.” 26

Hegel speaks of a world of the symbolic, while the

Hegel speaks of a world of the symbolic, while the

European is marked by the trend towards the iconoclastic,

European is marked by the trend towards the iconoclastic,

the word, literary language (with a script in which the

the word, literary language (with a script in which the

pictorial is overcome). The imagination (as strictly pictorial),

pictorial is overcome). The imagination (as strictly pictorial),

having been thus far scarcely taken into account in research,

having been thus far scarcely taken into account in research,

is the decisive term for illuminating this situation; it is about

is the decisive term for illuminating this situation; it is about

the relation between imagination and concept, about Hegel's

the relation between imagination and concept, about Hegel's

conception of the sublation of imagination in the concept,

conception of the sublation of imagination in the concept,

about the relation between art, religion, and philosophy in

about the relation between art, religion, and philosophy in

the strict sense.

the strict sense.

Conceptions – understood as pictorial-metaphorical –

Conceptions – understood as pictorial-metaphorical –

are situated between the concept and what is immediately

are situated between the concept and what is immediately

sensuous or intuitive; they oscillate between these, represent

sensuous or intuitive; they oscillate between these, represent

the middle, the between, the transition from the immediately

the middle, the between, the transition from the immediately

singular of the sensual intuition to the universality of the

singular of the sensual intuition to the universality of the

concept. These deal with the pictorial made into universals,

concept. These deal with the pictorial made into universals,

the universal made into pictures, meanings made into

the universal made into pictures, meanings made into

26

26

Interesting in this context is a certain unity of text and image in traditional Japanese books and the bunjin, which was able to draw and paint. As a result of the growing influence of the Europeans, a dividing line between image and writing was later drawn. In today's manga culture, the old tradition continues. “You could better understand Japan if you were to read its mangas.” Teruaki Takahashi: “We think in pictures.” In: Kosmos No. 86, 2005, p. 8ff.

197

Interesting in this context is a certain unity of text and image in traditional Japanese books and the bunjin, which was able to draw and paint. As a result of the growing influence of the Europeans, a dividing line between image and writing was later drawn. In today's manga culture, the old tradition continues. “You could better understand Japan if you were to read its mangas.” Teruaki Takahashi: “We think in pictures.” In: Kosmos No. 86, 2005, p. 8ff.

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intuitions. Hegel understands religion in this sense, as the

intuitions. Hegel understands religion in this sense, as the

making present of the absolute content, as representation of

making present of the absolute content, as representation of

absolute content, a representation of the Absolute in the

absolute content, a representation of the Absolute in the

form of imagination, of the pictorial, something that can be

form of imagination, of the pictorial, something that can be

observed in all relevant places where he speaks of religion.

observed in all relevant places where he speaks of religion.

Buddhism as a religion of the quiet being-in-itself

Buddhism as a religion of the quiet being-in-itself

Only a most precise version of the connotations of “quiet

Only a most precise version of the connotations of “quiet

being-in-itself” leads to the center of Hegel's interpretation

being-in-itself” leads to the center of Hegel's interpretation

of Buddhism. According to the well-known and disputed

of Buddhism. According to the well-known and disputed

beginning to Hegel's Logic, being-in-itself means the

beginning to Hegel's Logic, being-in-itself means the

abstract, only initial negativity, the principal negation of

abstract, only initial negativity, the principal negation of

everything other, a setting free of consciousness from

everything other, a setting free of consciousness from

everything external, the overlooking of, or abstraction from,

everything external, the overlooking of, or abstraction from,

any determinateness (Werke 65-81), untainted as regards the

any determinateness (Werke 65-81), untainted as regards the

determinate,

determinate,

pure

immediacy,

an

in-itself-being

of

pure

immediacy,

an

in-itself-being

of

consciousness as being-sunk-in-itself, complete emptiness,

consciousness as being-sunk-in-itself, complete emptiness,

lack of distinction, mere and simple self-identity, relationless

lack of distinction, mere and simple self-identity, relationless

negation as being-closed-in-itself, lack of determination,

negation as being-closed-in-itself, lack of determination,

negation of all particulars, the one as pure nothing, the

negation of all particulars, the one as pure nothing, the

absolute as nothingness – all these characteristics return in

absolute as nothingness – all these characteristics return in

the description of Buddhism, whose principle expresses this

the description of Buddhism, whose principle expresses this

very nothingness. Thus, Buddhism is assigned a prominent

very nothingness. Thus, Buddhism is assigned a prominent

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198

place in Hegel's systematic thinking. The dissolution of

place in Hegel's systematic thinking. The dissolution of

definite thought is a property of the Asian spirit,

definite thought is a property of the Asian spirit,

determinations

determinations

are

simply

transitory,

vanishing,

all

determination disappears.

are

simply

transitory,

vanishing,

all

determination disappears.

In respect to the historical situation of Indian religions,

In respect to the historical situation of Indian religions,

Hegel sees a fundamental advance in terms of the principle

Hegel sees a fundamental advance in terms of the principle

just mentioned.

just mentioned.

The concrete determinations of the religious conception

The concrete determinations of the religious conception

are freed from their wild, unbridled breakup, from their

are freed from their wild, unbridled breakup, from their

natural disintegration, and brought together, put into their

natural disintegration, and brought together, put into their

inner relation, their wavering frenzy brought to stillness.

inner relation, their wavering frenzy brought to stillness.

(Werke 16, 374). It is a continuation “to the idea of the pure

(Werke 16, 374). It is a continuation “to the idea of the pure

unity of thought in itself,” into being-in-itself, “wherein the

unity of thought in itself,” into being-in-itself, “wherein the

empirical all of the world, as well as those highest

empirical all of the world, as well as those highest

substantialities called gods, disappear.” The death of

substantialities called gods, disappear.” The death of

traditional gods lies in this “collapse of difference into the

traditional gods lies in this “collapse of difference into the

category of unity.” The previous relationship of unity and

category of unity.” The previous relationship of unity and

distinction induced the infinite process, the permanent

distinction induced the infinite process, the permanent

alternation of negation and positing, now this – like with the

alternation of negation and positing, now this – like with the

Pyrrhonians – becomes cut off, any relationship, any

Pyrrhonians – becomes cut off, any relationship, any

connection to another is clipped. (Werke 16, 374) Although

connection to another is clipped. (Werke 16, 374) Although

this being-in-itself is only the overcoming of the

this being-in-itself is only the overcoming of the

independent differences, the fury of disappearing, and not

independent differences, the fury of disappearing, and not

yet the being-for-itself as the highest stage of the being-in-

yet the being-for-itself as the highest stage of the being-in-

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itself, it behaves in the most abstract way as regards the

itself, it behaves in the most abstract way as regards the

soul's being-for-itself. This being-in-itself implies the ever

soul's being-for-itself. This being-in-itself implies the ever

quiet, unchanging, tarrying that is not thrown into the stream

quiet, unchanging, tarrying that is not thrown into the stream

of time, the transitory. With this intellectual substantiality,

of time, the transitory. With this intellectual substantiality,

all subjective vanity is thrown away and solid ground is trod;

all subjective vanity is thrown away and solid ground is trod;

it is nothing less than the essential foundation of all

it is nothing less than the essential foundation of all

philosophy, idealism as the being-for-itself of thought.

philosophy, idealism as the being-for-itself of thought.

(Werke 18,167)

(Werke 18,167)

In its Greek adaptation, this thought is called ataraxia,

In its Greek adaptation, this thought is called ataraxia,

stillness of the soul – “the surface of a sea not moved by any

stillness of the soul – “the surface of a sea not moved by any

wind.” According to Hegel, this is the beginning and the free

wind.” According to Hegel, this is the beginning and the free

side of every philosophy.

side of every philosophy.

His Buddhist-Pyrrhonian-idealist credo could be expressed

His Buddhist-Pyrrhonian-idealist credo could be expressed

in the following combination of impressive pictures, all of

in the following combination of impressive pictures, all of

which emphasize the form of being-in-itself: “In the still

which emphasize the form of being-in-itself: “In the still

spaces of a thought having come to itself, and existing only

spaces of a thought having come to itself, and existing only

in itself, the interests that move the life of peoples and

in itself, the interests that move the life of peoples and

individuals are silent.” (Werke 5, 23) – “The resolve to

individuals are silent.” (Werke 5, 23) – “The resolve to

philosophize throws itself purely into the thinking – this

philosophize throws itself purely into the thinking – this

thinking is alone in itself, it throws itself into nothingness as

thinking is alone in itself, it throws itself into nothingness as

into a boundless ocean.” (Werke 10, 416) The intellectual

into a boundless ocean.” (Werke 10, 416) The intellectual

substantiality that Hegel understood as advantage of the

substantiality that Hegel understood as advantage of the

Asian standpoint forms the opposite of reflection, of

Asian standpoint forms the opposite of reflection, of

200

200

Western rationality. While in Asia the universal is held to be

Western rationality. While in Asia the universal is held to be

what is truly and uniquely independent, and the subjectivity

what is truly and uniquely independent, and the subjectivity

of spirituality is lacking, the European is marked by the idea

of spirituality is lacking, the European is marked by the idea

of singularity, of subjectivity, as the foundation.

of singularity, of subjectivity, as the foundation.

After the onset, with Descartes, of a new, modern

After the onset, with Descartes, of a new, modern

philosophy with its principle of free, abstract thought, the

philosophy with its principle of free, abstract thought, the

foundation of philosophy was set out new again, and there

foundation of philosophy was set out new again, and there

appeared the Jewish-inspired thinking of Spinoza as “an

appeared the Jewish-inspired thinking of Spinoza as “an

echo of the East.” Hegel notes: “Eastern intuition has been

echo of the East.” Hegel notes: “Eastern intuition has been

brought immediately closer to and introduced into the

brought immediately closer to and introduced into the

European way of thinking and more so to European,

European way of thinking and more so to European,

Cartesian philosophizing.” (Werke 20, 158) Within Spinoza's

Cartesian philosophizing.” (Werke 20, 158) Within Spinoza's

unity of substance “absolute pantheism and monotheism are

unity of substance “absolute pantheism and monotheism are

raised to thought” (Werke 20, 164), an Eastern intuition, as

raised to thought” (Werke 20, 164), an Eastern intuition, as

it expresses itself clearly at the beginning of the modern age.

it expresses itself clearly at the beginning of the modern age.

In this annihilation of all determinateness lies the “essential

In this annihilation of all determinateness lies the “essential

beginning of all philosophizing,” every philosopher must

beginning of all philosophizing,” every philosopher must

pass through this ether of the one substance, through this

pass through this ether of the one substance, through this

ocean of the negative.

ocean of the negative.

But this was only the beginning, only the abstract, rigid

But this was only the beginning, only the abstract, rigid

unity from which no development, no subjectivity, no

unity from which no development, no subjectivity, no

spirituality could be derived. (Werke 20, 165-166) This

spirituality could be derived. (Werke 20, 165-166) This

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negative, stripped of all determinateness, is abstract

negative, stripped of all determinateness, is abstract

negativity, naked, pure nothingness. In Spinoza's system,

negativity, naked, pure nothingness. In Spinoza's system,

“everything is just tossed into this abyss of annihilation....

“everything is just tossed into this abyss of annihilation....

The particular he speaks of is only discovered, taken from

The particular he speaks of is only discovered, taken from

the representation, without being justified.” (Werke 20, 166)

the representation, without being justified.” (Werke 20, 166)

All determination is subordinate or subsequent, it falls

All determination is subordinate or subsequent, it falls

outside of substance. This determination Spinoza calls

outside of substance. This determination Spinoza calls

modus (mode), that is, a way of being of substance or its

modus (mode), that is, a way of being of substance or its

property. According to Hegel, mode as such is completely

property. According to Hegel, mode as such is completely

untrue, all determinateness is only transient, only inessential.

untrue, all determinateness is only transient, only inessential.

Determinateness is not preserved, not sublated, the unity is

Determinateness is not preserved, not sublated, the unity is

only brought into a formal, contentless unity (in the form of

only brought into a formal, contentless unity (in the form of

sinking of all content into emptiness), not brought to a

sinking of all content into emptiness), not brought to a

concrete unity.

concrete unity.

In contrast to substance, to the one, to the first, to the

In contrast to substance, to the one, to the first, to the

infinite, everything coming second, all determinateness can

infinite, everything coming second, all determinateness can

only be contingent, only finite, unessential and outside of the

only be contingent, only finite, unessential and outside of the

essential. So the mode is what is simply non-essential, what

essential. So the mode is what is simply non-essential, what

can only be grasped from another, not from substance.

can only be grasped from another, not from substance.

(Werke 5, 389, 388) No accident can last two moments.

(Werke 5, 389, 388) No accident can last two moments.

Similar to skepticism, the magic word of the instant is

Similar to skepticism, the magic word of the instant is

spoken of, connections and relations are dissolved, the

spoken of, connections and relations are dissolved, the

particular and the singular are without necessity, a matter of

particular and the singular are without necessity, a matter of

pure accident.

pure accident. 202

202

In the pantheistic view of the mode, no measure can be

In the pantheistic view of the mode, no measure can be

conceived; opposed to this “measureless,” this abstract

conceived; opposed to this “measureless,” this abstract

negativity or indifference, stands Parmenides, Greek thought,

negativity or indifference, stands Parmenides, Greek thought,

with the thesis that everything has a measure. For all

with the thesis that everything has a measure. For all

patterns in Spinoza's pantheism, however, it is held that

patterns in Spinoza's pantheism, however, it is held that

“The highest goal for the human being who is completely

“The highest goal for the human being who is completely

displaced into the sphere of origin and passing away, of

displaced into the sphere of origin and passing away, of

modality,

modality,

the

sinking

into

unconsciousness

is

[...]

the

sinking

into

unconsciousness

is

[...]

destruction.” (Werke 5, 389) The individual human finds

destruction.” (Werke 5, 389) The individual human finds

himself excluded from substantiality, he “has no value, is

himself excluded from substantiality, he “has no value, is

only the contingent, without justification, only finite.”

only the contingent, without justification, only finite.”

(Werke 18, 120) The general determinateness that exists

(Werke 18, 120) The general determinateness that exists

only in finiteness should be avoided. All determinateness is

only in finiteness should be avoided. All determinateness is

to be discarded, determinateness is a taint, the particular and

to be discarded, determinateness is a taint, the particular and

singular, and thus something merely transient. So self-

singular, and thus something merely transient. So self-

consciousness seems to be destroyed in the universal, falling

consciousness seems to be destroyed in the universal, falling

into the depths of nothingness. According to Hegel, the only

into the depths of nothingness. According to Hegel, the only

activity consists in throwing everything into this empty

activity consists in throwing everything into this empty

abyss of substance where everything disappears. This stands

abyss of substance where everything disappears. This stands

for rest, immobility, the sublime, without self, without

for rest, immobility, the sublime, without self, without

subjectivity. Shizutera Ueda speaks of the “unconditional

subjectivity. Shizutera Ueda speaks of the “unconditional

selflessness,” one has to be “completely detached both from

selflessness,” one has to be “completely detached both from

himself and from the Buddha and once and for all spring

himself and from the Buddha and once and for all spring

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into pure nothingness.” 27 Eastern substance thus enters the

into pure nothingness.” 27 Eastern substance thus enters the

path towards the indeterminate, lacking a self-constituting

path towards the indeterminate, lacking a self-constituting

objectivity, a conceptualizing thinking, as self-determining

objectivity, a conceptualizing thinking, as self-determining

objectivity. (Werke 16, 168)

objectivity. (Werke 16, 168)

Hegel considers this thinking to be the universal that is at the

Hegel considers this thinking to be the universal that is at the

same time the basis of substantiality and subjectivity.

same time the basis of substantiality and subjectivity.

Hegel sees the core of the Eastern way of presenting

Hegel sees the core of the Eastern way of presenting

things in the negativity bound up with the tarrying one.

things in the negativity bound up with the tarrying one.

(Werke 19, 521) Thus results the difficulty, one also

(Werke 19, 521) Thus results the difficulty, one also

characteristic of Neoplatonic emanation models – a cross for

characteristic of Neoplatonic emanation models – a cross for

every pantheism – to visualize, clarify, and legitimate the

every pantheism – to visualize, clarify, and legitimate the

emergence out of the peaceful and empty unity. This

emergence out of the peaceful and empty unity. This

transition, the origin of the finite, seems to be only

transition, the origin of the finite, seems to be only

discovered and taken up out of fantasy and imagination, out

discovered and taken up out of fantasy and imagination, out

of representation, and presented pictorially (e.g., as creation

of representation, and presented pictorially (e.g., as creation

or shaping the world). The question arises as to the status of

or shaping the world). The question arises as to the status of

the execution of this transmission, with which capacity of

the execution of this transmission, with which capacity of

consciousness is this to be accomplished?

consciousness is this to be accomplished?

In reference to Plotinus, Hegel spoke of the main

In reference to Plotinus, Hegel spoke of the main

difficulty of how the One decides to determine itself; from

difficulty of how the One decides to determine itself; from

27

27

Cited from: Otto Pöggeler: “West-Ostende Todeserfahrungen.” In: Zukünftiges Menschsein: Ethik zwischen Ost und West, eds. Ralf Elm and Mamoru Takayama, Baden-Baden 2003, p. 224.

Cited from: Otto Pöggeler: “West-Ostende Todeserfahrungen.” In: Zukünftiges Menschsein: Ethik zwischen Ost und West, eds. Ralf Elm and Mamoru Takayama, Baden-Baden 2003, p. 224.

204

204

the basic problem of emerging from something without

the basic problem of emerging from something without

defect and taint, “However, this transition to the second is

defect and taint, “However, this transition to the second is

not made by Plotinus philosophically or dialectically, but

not made by Plotinus philosophically or dialectically, but

rather this necessity is expressed in representations and

rather this necessity is expressed in representations and

pictures.” (Werke 19, 447) We know that Plotinus used the

pictures.” (Werke 19, 447) We know that Plotinus used the

metaphors of flowing from the source, of overflowing and of

metaphors of flowing from the source, of overflowing and of

glowing from the light of the sun. Around 1800, this facet of

glowing from the light of the sun. Around 1800, this facet of

Plotinian philosophy was described as Oriental enthusiasm,

Plotinian philosophy was described as Oriental enthusiasm,

as ecstasy in the sense of a sort of extraordinary effort of the

as ecstasy in the sense of a sort of extraordinary effort of the

imagination, interpreted as intellectual intuition.

imagination, interpreted as intellectual intuition.

We also find this topic at the beginning of Hegel's

We also find this topic at the beginning of Hegel's

theory of the objective spirit. The criticism of the East and

theory of the objective spirit. The criticism of the East and

Buddhism takes place, and this is of considerable

Buddhism takes place, and this is of considerable

importance, especially in the field of the practical, of action.

importance, especially in the field of the practical, of action.

The first, initial characteristic of the will is that of pure

The first, initial characteristic of the will is that of pure

indeterminacy,

every

peculiarity,

every

content

is

indeterminacy,

every

peculiarity,

every

content

is

annihilated, the boundless infinity of absolute abstraction as

annihilated, the boundless infinity of absolute abstraction as

negative freedom, as the freedom of emptiness. A human

negative freedom, as the freedom of emptiness. A human

can destroy all differences, tear loose from all that is

can destroy all differences, tear loose from all that is

external, give up all goals, let everything collapse. He is the

external, give up all goals, let everything collapse. He is the

power “to give oneself universality, that is, to extinguish all

power “to give oneself universality, that is, to extinguish all

peculiarity, all determinateness,” this is a necessary but one-

peculiarity, all determinateness,” this is a necessary but one-

sided moment. (Werke 7, 51) If this remains only theoretical

sided moment. (Werke 7, 51) If this remains only theoretical

– as with Hegel's reference to the East – this would be the

– as with Hegel's reference to the East – this would be the

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Indian pure intuition, absolute calm, knowledge of simple

Indian pure intuition, absolute calm, knowledge of simple

self-identity, tarrying in the empty space of inwardness, the

self-identity, tarrying in the empty space of inwardness, the

renunciation of all activity.

renunciation of all activity.

So Hegel's argument holds that this abstraction from all

So Hegel's argument holds that this abstraction from all

determinateness is not without determination; the lack of

determinateness is not without determination; the lack of

determination is itself a determinateness, thus finite,

determination is itself a determinateness, thus finite,

deficient, thus inescapably afflicted with this taint. The

deficient, thus inescapably afflicted with this taint. The

assumption of a pure, mere immediacy is proven untenable,

assumption of a pure, mere immediacy is proven untenable,

and Spinoza’s determinatio est negatio holds in its reversed

and Spinoza’s determinatio est negatio holds in its reversed

form: negatio est determinatio.

form: negatio est determinatio.

If the stillness of being-in-itself is held to be the best for

If the stillness of being-in-itself is held to be the best for

man, calm without passion and will – “without inclination,

man, calm without passion and will – “without inclination,

without action, to not want, to not act” – then the union with

without action, to not want, to not act” – then the union with

the best is silence. (Werke 16, 386) This is the theoretical

the best is silence. (Werke 16, 386) This is the theoretical

moment of human substance, but at the same time a

moment of human substance, but at the same time a

separation of the theoretical and practical that proves to be

separation of the theoretical and practical that proves to be

problematic.

problematic.

Silence

and

Pyrrhonic

judgment

are

Silence

and

Pyrrhonic

judgment

are

indisputably possible, but they remain an attitude and an

indisputably possible, but they remain an attitude and an

activity. A permitting that renounces shaping or determining

activity. A permitting that renounces shaping or determining

action, a letting be or refraining from, an abstention from

action, a letting be or refraining from, an abstention from

action, this proves in principle to be impossible.

action, this proves in principle to be impossible.

Freedom from oneself and the beautiful soul

Freedom from oneself and the beautiful soul

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Consciousness has its own essence affirmatively before it,

Consciousness has its own essence affirmatively before it,

since it knows this essence as its own essence, but at the

since it knows this essence as its own essence, but at the

same time – and this is the shadow side – it represents it as

same time – and this is the shadow side – it represents it as

an object, it still distinguishes between being-in-itself and

an object, it still distinguishes between being-in-itself and

empirical consciousness. Thus it can’t completely traverse

empirical consciousness. Thus it can’t completely traverse

the path from consciousness to self-consciousness; it is

the path from consciousness to self-consciousness; it is

indeed self-consciousness – whether or not it wants to be –

indeed self-consciousness – whether or not it wants to be –

but does not yet know itself as such, and it tries to overcome

but does not yet know itself as such, and it tries to overcome

this sort of self-consciousness. The Buddhist being-in-itself

this sort of self-consciousness. The Buddhist being-in-itself

is thus pure freedom from itself, not yet being-in-itself as

is thus pure freedom from itself, not yet being-in-itself as

freedom for itself, the highest form of being-in-itself.

freedom for itself, the highest form of being-in-itself.

This consciousness does not want to be a will, does not want

This consciousness does not want to be a will, does not want

to decide, it does not want to renounce unity and purity, and

to decide, it does not want to renounce unity and purity, and

it sees in fixed determination the fundamental taint, the taint

it sees in fixed determination the fundamental taint, the taint

of determinateness.

of determinateness.

The version of this thought that was translated into

The version of this thought that was translated into

Europe Hegel describes as the beautiful soul that does not

Europe Hegel describes as the beautiful soul that does not

want to be determined, polluted, by the finite. It cleans itself

want to be determined, polluted, by the finite. It cleans itself

to purity and sees in this poverty, in this disappearance, its

to purity and sees in this poverty, in this disappearance, its

only wealth. It lives in the fear of staining the splendor of

only wealth. It lives in the fear of staining the splendor of

the inner through action and existence, and therefore flees

the inner through action and existence, and therefore flees

contact with reality; it glimmers and sinks into the stillness

contact with reality; it glimmers and sinks into the stillness

of the seas; in part it appears as mute consciousness, in part

of the seas; in part it appears as mute consciousness, in part

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it finds its deed in speaking, in conversation. (Werke 3, 479,

it finds its deed in speaking, in conversation. (Werke 3, 479,

483) The romantic Indian enthusiasm of Novalis, which

483) The romantic Indian enthusiasm of Novalis, which

Hegel regarded as this sort of beautiful soul, is well-known.

Hegel regarded as this sort of beautiful soul, is well-known.

Novalis held poetry to be “a decorated India, a star-filled,

Novalis held poetry to be “a decorated India, a star-filled,

warm heaven in which the infinitely creative music of the

warm heaven in which the infinitely creative music of the

universe resounds,” while rationality emerges as the

universe resounds,” while rationality emerges as the

“monotonous rattling of an immense mill, a cold sea with

“monotonous rattling of an immense mill, a cold sea with

dead cliffs.”

28

Even before Nietzsche, the East was

dead cliffs.”

28

Even before Nietzsche, the East was

associated with warm-colored, vivid fantasy, and the West

associated with warm-colored, vivid fantasy, and the West

with icy, cold, rigid, dead rationality, there the music full of

with icy, cold, rigid, dead rationality, there the music full of

fantasy, here the desolate rattling.

fantasy, here the desolate rattling.

The East and modern poetry

The East and modern poetry

A special affinity exists between the East (the symbolic

A special affinity exists between the East (the symbolic

world) and modern art. An essential side of the sublation of

world) and modern art. An essential side of the sublation of

the East and classical antiquity is achieved in modern,

the East and classical antiquity is achieved in modern,

romantic art. The Eastern pattern of non-correspondence, the

romantic art. The Eastern pattern of non-correspondence, the

lack of fit between content and form, is found at a higher

lack of fit between content and form, is found at a higher

stage in this modern art, which is understood as the art of

stage in this modern art, which is understood as the art of

absolute being-in-itself, as the art of absolute internality. The

absolute being-in-itself, as the art of absolute internality. The

human descends into what is deepest inside him, into the

human descends into what is deepest inside him, into the

28

28

Novalis: “Die Christenheit oder Europa,” in: Novalis. Werke, Tagebücher und Briefe, ed. Hans Joachim Mähl and Richard Samuel, vol. 2, Darmstadt 1999, p. 746.

208

Novalis: “Die Christenheit oder Europa,” in: Novalis. Werke, Tagebücher und Briefe, ed. Hans Joachim Mähl and Richard Samuel, vol. 2, Darmstadt 1999, p. 746.

208

internality of the soul. Meaning and formation are divided,

internality of the soul. Meaning and formation are divided,

subjectivity existing in itself and objectivity are separated,

subjectivity existing in itself and objectivity are separated,

fall apart, become counterpoints. Internality appears only in

fall apart, become counterpoints. Internality appears only in

externality, as contingency in respect to meaning. Romantic

externality, as contingency in respect to meaning. Romantic

art, then, emerges as a “hovering and sounding over a world

art, then, emerges as a “hovering and sounding over a world

that can accept only a return-look of being-in-itself.” (Werke

that can accept only a return-look of being-in-itself.” (Werke

14, 140-141) Objectivity, the world in general, becomes a

14, 140-141) Objectivity, the world in general, becomes a

mere look, it is dissolved. Actual, direct expression loses its

mere look, it is dissolved. Actual, direct expression loses its

dominance, meaning is formed and de-formed, alienated, in

dominance, meaning is formed and de-formed, alienated, in

the work. Indirect, inauthentic talk, metaphor, symbolism,

the work. Indirect, inauthentic talk, metaphor, symbolism,

allegory are the focus. In his West-East Divan, Goethe

allegory are the focus. In his West-East Divan, Goethe

achieves this fantasy-filled internalizing, the synthesis of

achieves this fantasy-filled internalizing, the synthesis of

intellectual freedom and subjective inner fantasy. With

intellectual freedom and subjective inner fantasy. With

freedom of spirit, he also regains the symbolism, the

freedom of spirit, he also regains the symbolism, the

cheerfulness and parrhesia of the imagination, the free,

cheerfulness and parrhesia of the imagination, the free,

cheerful spirit of the East.

cheerful spirit of the East.

Short Summary

Short Summary

These considerations should sketch an Hegelian proposal for

These considerations should sketch an Hegelian proposal for

a West-East Divan – his attempt at a union of Western

a West-East Divan – his attempt at a union of Western

rationality with Eastern phantasy and wisdom. The core of

rationality with Eastern phantasy and wisdom. The core of

Hegel's thought consists in a conception of sublation in two

Hegel's thought consists in a conception of sublation in two

stages, first the sublation of the East into classical antiquity

stages, first the sublation of the East into classical antiquity

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and then the shaping of a unity of classical and Eastern in

and then the shaping of a unity of classical and Eastern in

the modern West. The main argument in Hegel's way of

the modern West. The main argument in Hegel's way of

thinking, the attempt to bring West and East into a

thinking, the attempt to bring West and East into a

successful unity, lies in overcoming the isostheny of

successful unity, lies in overcoming the isostheny of

determinateness and indeterminacy, of immediacy and

determinateness and indeterminacy, of immediacy and

mediation, of infinity and finitude of thinking self-relation,

mediation, of infinity and finitude of thinking self-relation,

or in a shorter and intuitive conception: Substance must be

or in a shorter and intuitive conception: Substance must be

thought of as subject.

thought of as subject.

If Asians and Europeans, Easterners and Westerners,

If Asians and Europeans, Easterners and Westerners,

were to build a new Hellespont, they should allow Buddha

were to build a new Hellespont, they should allow Buddha

and Hegel a seat on the divan, perhaps an exciting

and Hegel a seat on the divan, perhaps an exciting

conversation will result. Such a seating on the West-East

conversation will result. Such a seating on the West-East

divan seems to be a most important challenge for the twenty-

divan seems to be a most important challenge for the twenty-

first century. But if we do not learn the way of crossing the

first century. But if we do not learn the way of crossing the

bridges, then again Hegel gives the response: all the worse

bridges, then again Hegel gives the response: all the worse

for humankind.

for humankind.

210

210

Inner

Enlightenment,

Literature,

and

Inner

Enlightenment,

Literature,

and

Literary Translation

Literary Translation

by Timothy Huson

by Timothy Huson

In the opening meeting of his nearly three decades of

In the opening meeting of his nearly three decades of

seminars on psychoanalysis, Jacques Lacan compares

seminars on psychoanalysis, Jacques Lacan compares

reading Freud’s text to a student's experience with a master

reading Freud’s text to a student's experience with a master

of Chan Buddhism:

of Chan Buddhism:

The search for meaning has already been practiced, for

The search for meaning has already been practiced, for

example by certain Buddhist masters, with the

example by certain Buddhist masters, with the

technique of Zen. The master interrupts the silence with

technique of Zen. The master interrupts the silence with

anything at all, a sarcastic remark, a kick.

anything at all, a sarcastic remark, a kick.

It belongs to the students themselves to search for

It belongs to the students themselves to search for

the answer to their own questions in their study of texts:

the answer to their own questions in their study of texts:

the master does not teach a ready-made science ex

the master does not teach a ready-made science ex

cathedra, but rather he induces this answer when the

cathedra, but rather he induces this answer when the

students are at the point of finding it. 29

students are at the point of finding it. 29

29

29

Translated from Séminaire 1 – Écrits techniques : 1953-1954, p. 9, in Jacques Lacan, les séminaires (1952-1978), electronic collection of Lacan's seminars by l'Association Lacanienne Internationale. All translations in this essay are mine unless otherwise indicated.

Translated from Séminaire 1 – Écrits techniques : 1953-1954, p. 9, in Jacques Lacan, les séminaires (1952-1978), electronic collection of Lacan's seminars by l'Association Lacanienne Internationale. All translations in this essay are mine unless otherwise indicated.

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We see here the stages of education as enlightenment: the

We see here the stages of education as enlightenment: the

student’s errant trust in the master’s authority, his negated

student’s errant trust in the master’s authority, his negated

expectation as the discourse is interrupted, and then the trust

expectation as the discourse is interrupted, and then the trust

returning to the student himself to seek the answer from

returning to the student himself to seek the answer from

inside. Here, learning is not acquiring a doctrine from

inside. Here, learning is not acquiring a doctrine from

outside. Rather, it is the process of spiritual turning, a

outside. Rather, it is the process of spiritual turning, a

movement of the soul. The teacher’s role is crucial, not as

movement of the soul. The teacher’s role is crucial, not as

providing a doctrine or a content, but rather, as authority that

providing a doctrine or a content, but rather, as authority that

instigates the spiritual turning.

instigates the spiritual turning.

As Lacan himself approaches Freud’s text, it is as a

As Lacan himself approaches Freud’s text, it is as a

student before the Zen master. The text doesn’t give the

student before the Zen master. The text doesn’t give the

answer, but gives the thought in a manner of openness, ripe

answer, but gives the thought in a manner of openness, ripe

for the student’s own activity. When initially taken as

for the student’s own activity. When initially taken as

authority, the text, in the role of Zen master, discharges that

authority, the text, in the role of Zen master, discharges that

authority onto the reader, the student. But in both cases there

authority onto the reader, the student. But in both cases there

is a content, and the key is that the content reaches the reader,

is a content, and the key is that the content reaches the reader,

the student, in its full openness, in the form that is ripe for

the student, in its full openness, in the form that is ripe for

the student’s mental activity. The Zen master initiates the

the student’s mental activity. The Zen master initiates the

student to approach the real content, the Buddha, in all of its

student to approach the real content, the Buddha, in all of its

fullness, as it is. At its deepest level, Freud’s text (the Zen

fullness, as it is. At its deepest level, Freud’s text (the Zen

master) does not give a finalized analysis and digestion of

master) does not give a finalized analysis and digestion of

the content, and this content, for Lacan, has all of the

the content, and this content, for Lacan, has all of the

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openness of the Buddha – Freud’s thought as “most

openness of the Buddha – Freud’s thought as “most

perpetually open to revision.”

perpetually open to revision.”

And Lacan is delivering a lecture, so we must extend the

And Lacan is delivering a lecture, so we must extend the

metaphor one additional step: Lacan’s role as teacher of the

metaphor one additional step: Lacan’s role as teacher of the

selfsame content is also not to chew it for the student to

selfsame content is also not to chew it for the student to

swallow whole, but to bring it to the student in a way that

swallow whole, but to bring it to the student in a way that

preserves the openness and potential it had in Lacan’s own

preserves the openness and potential it had in Lacan’s own

reading of the text. The teacher has a responsibility to the

reading of the text. The teacher has a responsibility to the

openness and potential of the content. It is precisely by

openness and potential of the content. It is precisely by

being faithful to that openness that the teacher is most truly

being faithful to that openness that the teacher is most truly

original, most earnestly peers into the deepest potential of

original, most earnestly peers into the deepest potential of

the text itself in offering it to the students.

the text itself in offering it to the students.

At stake for the translator of Freud’s text there is the

At stake for the translator of Freud’s text there is the

same responsibility to the text, the same originality in going

same responsibility to the text, the same originality in going

to the roots. In the Chinese context, originality concerns

to the roots. In the Chinese context, originality concerns

roots (本), what is found at the deepest level, and in no way

roots (本), what is found at the deepest level, and in no way

suggests whimsical novelty for novelty’s sake. If the

suggests whimsical novelty for novelty’s sake. If the

translator interprets the text, clarifies the ambiguities, solves

translator interprets the text, clarifies the ambiguities, solves

the problems, and clears up misunderstandings, he does not

the problems, and clears up misunderstandings, he does not

render the text more suitable for students, but rather he

render the text more suitable for students, but rather he

destroys what is most central to the text’s pedagogical

destroys what is most central to the text’s pedagogical

function. If a translator has an obligation to the reader at all,

function. If a translator has an obligation to the reader at all,

it is an obligation to be true to the openness of the original,

it is an obligation to be true to the openness of the original,

to its pedagogical function.

to its pedagogical function. 213

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In his Poetics, Aristotle makes it clear that the essence of

In his Poetics, Aristotle makes it clear that the essence of

poiēsis (cognate of poetry) is not meter (Herodotus in verse

poiēsis (cognate of poetry) is not meter (Herodotus in verse

would not be poetry), but rather the creative aspect – the

would not be poetry), but rather the creative aspect – the

word literally means to create or make. And while this

word literally means to create or make. And while this

creative aspect dispenses with fidelity to historical fact, it

creative aspect dispenses with fidelity to historical fact, it

retains a higher sense of fidelity – “poetry is more

retains a higher sense of fidelity – “poetry is more

philosophical and more serious than history, for poetry tells

philosophical and more serious than history, for poetry tells

In this

the universal, while history tells the particular.” 30 In this

connection to philosophy, Aristotle’s notion of creativity is

connection to philosophy, Aristotle’s notion of creativity is

closely allied with fidelity, since a philosopher above all is

closely allied with fidelity, since a philosopher above all is

concerned with truth. For a genuine philosopher to be unique

concerned with truth. For a genuine philosopher to be unique

in his time, is not a matter of wanton novelty, but of

in his time, is not a matter of wanton novelty, but of

reverting to an unfashionable way of being true, of being

reverting to an unfashionable way of being true, of being

faithful. A person going to the roots is faithful and will be

faithful. A person going to the roots is faithful and will be

truly creative, creating out of the deepest potential of reality

truly creative, creating out of the deepest potential of reality

– and in a time where wanton novelty is all the rage, the

– and in a time where wanton novelty is all the rage, the

faithful creator might easily be confused with this spurious

faithful creator might easily be confused with this spurious

brand. But in the classical Greek sense, and in the Chinese

brand. But in the classical Greek sense, and in the Chinese

sense, fidelity and creativity are part and parcel of one and

sense, fidelity and creativity are part and parcel of one and

the same process.

the same process.

30

30

the universal, while history tells the particular.”

30

[1451β] διὸ καὶ φιλοσοφώτερον καὶ σπουδαιότερον ποίησις ἱστορίας ἐστίν: ἡ μὲν γὰρ ποίησις μᾶλλον τὰ καθόλου, ἡ δ᾽ ἱστορία τὰ καθ᾽ ἕκαστον λέγει.

[1451β] διὸ καὶ φιλοσοφώτερον καὶ σπουδαιότερον ποίησις ἱστορίας ἐστίν: ἡ μὲν γὰρ ποίησις μᾶλλον τὰ καθόλου, ἡ δ᾽ ἱστορία τὰ καθ᾽ ἕκαστον λέγει.

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214

This holds in the sphere of translation. The creativity of

This holds in the sphere of translation. The creativity of

a genuine translator is attained through fidelity – in striving

a genuine translator is attained through fidelity – in striving

for fidelity to the openness of the original text, creativity

for fidelity to the openness of the original text, creativity

arises in the art of finding the right word that can achieve

arises in the art of finding the right word that can achieve

this goal. The translator must perceive the openness of the

this goal. The translator must perceive the openness of the

original, but not interpret it, not change it, not close it off,

original, but not interpret it, not change it, not close it off,

not make its meaning more clear, or less clear, to the reader

not make its meaning more clear, or less clear, to the reader

of the translation than it is to the original’s true reader, the

of the translation than it is to the original’s true reader, the

reader approaching the text in respect to its interpretive

reader approaching the text in respect to its interpretive

potential rather than imposing on it a currently popular

potential rather than imposing on it a currently popular

framework. Whereas the poet, the creative writer, is faithful

framework. Whereas the poet, the creative writer, is faithful

to reality, to its immanent potential, the creative translator is

to reality, to its immanent potential, the creative translator is

creatively faithful to the product of that first fidelity. The

creatively faithful to the product of that first fidelity. The

poet creatively seeks the right word to bring the potential of

poet creatively seeks the right word to bring the potential of

reality before the reader to instigate the reader’s mental

reality before the reader to instigate the reader’s mental

activity, while the translator creatively seeks the right word,

activity, while the translator creatively seeks the right word,

the word that can faithfully preserve the function of the

the word that can faithfully preserve the function of the

original, render it as faithfully as possible in respect to the

original, render it as faithfully as possible in respect to the

content’s openness to interpretation so that the interpretive

content’s openness to interpretation so that the interpretive

experience of the reader is as close as possible to that of the

experience of the reader is as close as possible to that of the

reader of the original.

reader of the original.

I am speaking of three levels of spiritual instruction. A

I am speaking of three levels of spiritual instruction. A

spiritual teacher, true to reality’s immanent potential,

spiritual teacher, true to reality’s immanent potential,

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doesn’t interpret that reality for his students, but knows how

doesn’t interpret that reality for his students, but knows how

to turn the student’s mind originally, creatively, to that

to turn the student’s mind originally, creatively, to that

reality. A certain kind of literary text can be created by that

reality. A certain kind of literary text can be created by that

mind and, insofar as it is a teacher, this text does not

mind and, insofar as it is a teacher, this text does not

interpret, but instigates the activity of the reader’s mind. The

interpret, but instigates the activity of the reader’s mind. The

translated literary text takes this one step further, with the

translated literary text takes this one step further, with the

translator’s function, much like that of the teacher and the

translator’s function, much like that of the teacher and the

writer, grounded in a fidelity achieved by creatively seeking

writer, grounded in a fidelity achieved by creatively seeking

the word, the expression, that is most true to the openness

the word, the expression, that is most true to the openness

and interpretive potential of the original.

and interpretive potential of the original.

The path of enlightenment in Chinese thought

The path of enlightenment in Chinese thought

In education as internal enlightenment, the master induces

In education as internal enlightenment, the master induces

the answer when the student is at the point of finding it. The

the answer when the student is at the point of finding it. The

master does not provide a content, but brings about an

master does not provide a content, but brings about an

impetus, an occasion, instigates (apporter) the situation in

impetus, an occasion, instigates (apporter) the situation in

which the student can set upon the way to the content that

which the student can set upon the way to the content that

emerges from himself. The answer is not transmitted or

emerges from himself. The answer is not transmitted or

transferred as a content or doctrine from teacher to student,

transferred as a content or doctrine from teacher to student,

from master to disciple, but rather it emerges from within

from master to disciple, but rather it emerges from within

the student as a result of the situation provided or caused by

the student as a result of the situation provided or caused by

the master’s intervention, the teaching, the meaningless kick,

the master’s intervention, the teaching, the meaningless kick,

senseless words, or senseless lack of words. The answer the

senseless words, or senseless lack of words. The answer the

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216

student ultimately finds is not a content envisioned or

student ultimately finds is not a content envisioned or

theorized by the teacher – rather, the answer and content is

theorized by the teacher – rather, the answer and content is

uniquely that of the student as the student comes to

uniquely that of the student as the student comes to

understand how to accost it, commune with it. The master’s

understand how to accost it, commune with it. The master’s

mediation does not interpret the content, but stirs the

mediation does not interpret the content, but stirs the

student’s mind to turn towards it. The crucial knowledge the

student’s mind to turn towards it. The crucial knowledge the

teacher must possess is not a doctrine or a dogma, but

teacher must possess is not a doctrine or a dogma, but

understanding of the particular student, to know what must

understanding of the particular student, to know what must

be done, for this particular student, to instigate the turning

be done, for this particular student, to instigate the turning

towards the content.

towards the content.

A crucial step is constituted by the student’s initial error

A crucial step is constituted by the student’s initial error

in putting faith in the teacher and looking to the outside for

in putting faith in the teacher and looking to the outside for

the ready-made answer. This trust in the teacher liberates the

the ready-made answer. This trust in the teacher liberates the

student from intellectual humbugs: the means to financial

student from intellectual humbugs: the means to financial

reward and peer recognition through trendy and fashionable

reward and peer recognition through trendy and fashionable

academic theories. To be sure, the master can also be a lure

academic theories. To be sure, the master can also be a lure

and, in some sense, an illusion, but this serves the student’s

and, in some sense, an illusion, but this serves the student’s

enlightenment when the master, as the true master,

enlightenment when the master, as the true master,

discharges his authority as answer man and puts it back upon

discharges his authority as answer man and puts it back upon

the student to find his own path.

the student to find his own path.

In the tradition of the Chinese sage, enlightenment often

In the tradition of the Chinese sage, enlightenment often

involves a geographical wandering that signifies a mental

involves a geographical wandering that signifies a mental

wandering on the road to truth. In a chapter of Zhuangzi

wandering on the road to truth. In a chapter of Zhuangzi

called Knowledge Roams North ( 知 北 遊 ), the Yellow

called Knowledge Roams North ( 知 北 遊 ), the Yellow

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Emperor tells Knowledge: The one who knows does not

Emperor tells Knowledge: The one who knows does not

speak and the one who speaks does not know, so the sage

speak and the one who speaks does not know, so the sage

teaches by actions, and does not speak. 31 The action without

teaches by actions, and does not speak. 31 The action without

speaking can also take place when words are in fact spoken,

speaking can also take place when words are in fact spoken,

but the meaning is not the indicative content or the formal

but the meaning is not the indicative content or the formal

meaning – as is the case with much of the Zhuangzi itself.

meaning – as is the case with much of the Zhuangzi itself.

The meaning of words on common usage, the pressure of

The meaning of words on common usage, the pressure of

group discourse, presents in language itself a binding chain

group discourse, presents in language itself a binding chain

on thought. Enlightenment here is a freeing oneself from that

on thought. Enlightenment here is a freeing oneself from that

discourse. To roam, to wander, means this liberation. But it

discourse. To roam, to wander, means this liberation. But it

is also positive liberation, the freeing to the truth, directly

is also positive liberation, the freeing to the truth, directly

approaching the content of being. In Chinese thought, that

approaching the content of being. In Chinese thought, that

being, that text, basically took two forms, the direct

being, that text, basically took two forms, the direct

apprehension of the universe itself, and direct communion

apprehension of the universe itself, and direct communion

with the wisdom embodied in the classics. The former is a

with the wisdom embodied in the classics. The former is a

feature of the Zhuangzi.

feature of the Zhuangzi.

Later in the same chapter, we read about the sage who

Later in the same chapter, we read about the sage who

listens to the wordless universe rather than the words of

listens to the wordless universe rather than the words of

humans:

humans:

31

Heaven and earth have great beauty but do not speak,

Heaven and earth have great beauty but do not speak,

the four seasons have clear laws but do not talk, the

the four seasons have clear laws but do not talk, the

myriad things have complete order, but do not tell. The

myriad things have complete order, but do not tell. The

夫知者不言,言者不知,故聖人行不言之教。

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31

夫知者不言,言者不知,故聖人行不言之教。

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sage goes to the source of the beauty of heaven and

sage goes to the source of the beauty of heaven and

earth and attains the law of myriad things. So the

earth and attains the law of myriad things. So the

perfect man does nothing, the great sage creates nothing,

perfect man does nothing, the great sage creates nothing,

and looks on heaven and earth to speak.

32

and looks on heaven and earth to speak. 32

The Zhuangzi, certainly a creative text, also renounces

The Zhuangzi, certainly a creative text, also renounces

creativity in one sense, if one imagines that something is

creativity in one sense, if one imagines that something is

truly created other than by going through the paths of

truly created other than by going through the paths of

originality, going to the root of being (本) as perceived in

originality, going to the root of being (本) as perceived in

the universe and nature. There is no genuine creation

the universe and nature. There is no genuine creation

without fidelity to the universe and what we share with the

without fidelity to the universe and what we share with the

universe. The arbitrary whim of an individual is not true

universe. The arbitrary whim of an individual is not true

creation.

creation.

For Confucius, we also see the importance of classical

For Confucius, we also see the importance of classical

texts of wisdom. When Confucius claims that he is

texts of wisdom. When Confucius claims that he is

transmitter, not creator, and trusts and loves the

transmitter, not creator, and trusts and loves the

ancients..., some use that as evidence to say Confucius is

ancients..., 33 some use that as evidence to say Confucius is

not an original thinker. Actually, in the Chinese sense, it is

not an original thinker. Actually, in the Chinese sense, it is

precisely this going back to the roots that makes one original.

precisely this going back to the roots that makes one original.

Genuine creation requires this making from the beginning,

Genuine creation requires this making from the beginning,

32

32

33

天地有大美而不言,四時有明法而不議,萬物有成理而不說。聖人 者,原天地之美而達萬物之理。是故至人無為,大聖不作,觀於天 地之謂也。In The Importance of Living, Lin Yutang quotes Zhang Chao: “Only one who can read books without words [i. e., the book of life itself] can say strikingly beautiful things.” (324) 33 述而不作,信而好古...

天地有大美而不言,四時有明法而不議,萬物有成理而不說。聖人 者,原天地之美而達萬物之理。是故至人無為,大聖不作,觀於天 地之謂也。In The Importance of Living, Lin Yutang quotes Zhang Chao: “Only one who can read books without words [i. e., the book of life itself] can say strikingly beautiful things.” (324) 33 述而不作,信而好古...

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from the roots. Whether the roots are direct apprehension of

from the roots. Whether the roots are direct apprehension of

the universe, or the presentation of wisdom through a text,

the universe, or the presentation of wisdom through a text,

enlightenment requires the student to accost it directly. In

enlightenment requires the student to accost it directly. In

the Chinese tradition, the inner self that is enlightened is

the Chinese tradition, the inner self that is enlightened is

intricately connected to the external, the universe, the texts

intricately connected to the external, the universe, the texts

approached by the sages.

approached by the sages.

Literature, myth, and learning

Literature, myth, and learning

Education as inner enlightenment is the central thread that

Education as inner enlightenment is the central thread that

runs through all of Plato's dialogues. In the Phaedrus a

runs through all of Plato's dialogues. In the Phaedrus a

central role is given to the metaphor of writing, the

central role is given to the metaphor of writing, the

pedagogical potential of the written text. Given that Plato

pedagogical potential of the written text. Given that Plato

was somewhat a creative writer – bridging the gap Aristotle

was somewhat a creative writer – bridging the gap Aristotle

saw between the poet and the philosopher – we can’t expect

saw between the poet and the philosopher – we can’t expect

a final negative verdict on writing. But in his depiction of

a final negative verdict on writing. But in his depiction of

the story of Theuth, inventor of language, Socrates (that is,

the story of Theuth, inventor of language, Socrates (that is,

not Plato, but a character in the dialogue) presents the

not Plato, but a character in the dialogue) presents the

counter-claim, that writing destroys thought, prevents

counter-claim, that writing destroys thought, prevents

enlightenment, as we see from the response of the god

enlightenment, as we see from the response of the god

Thamus when Theuth presents him with the invention of

Thamus when Theuth presents him with the invention of

writing:

writing:

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...this will cause forgetfulness in the souls of learners

...this will cause forgetfulness in the souls of learners

through lack of concern for remembrance, just as

through lack of concern for remembrance, just as

through faith in writing from without by external

through faith in writing from without by external

impression, not within them by their own remembering.

impression, not within them by their own remembering.

You have invented a drug, not of remembrance, but of

You have invented a drug, not of remembrance, but of

reminding; and you provide students the pretense of

reminding; and you provide students the pretense of

wisdom, not truth.

34

wisdom, not truth. 34

Writing provides an external imprint that is fixed outside of

Writing provides an external imprint that is fixed outside of

one’s mind. It is easy to simply internalize this from outside

one’s mind. It is easy to simply internalize this from outside

when it is needed, with no need to remember it internally. In

when it is needed, with no need to remember it internally. In

addition to indicating an internal record, remember here

addition to indicating an internal record, remember here

suggests the process of going through the original and

suggests the process of going through the original and

internal process of generating the idea from within, alluding

internal process of generating the idea from within, alluding

to the notion of coming to know as remembrance, a well-

to the notion of coming to know as remembrance, a well-

known idea in several of Plato’s dialogues. This parallels the

known idea in several of Plato’s dialogues. This parallels the

Chinese idea of going to the root (本). The idea, more and

Chinese idea of going to the root (本). The idea, more and

more prominent today, of acceptance based on authority,

more prominent today, of acceptance based on authority,

was universally subject to critique among ancient thinkers in

was universally subject to critique among ancient thinkers in

China and the West.

China and the West.

34

34

[275a] τοῦτο γὰρ τῶν μαθόντων λήθην μὲν ἐν ψυχαῖς παρέξει μνήμης ἀμελετησίᾳ, ἅτε διὰ πίστιν γραφῆς ἔξωθεν ὑπ᾽ ἀλλοτρίων τύπων, οὐκ ἔνδοθεν αὐτοὺς ὑφ᾽ αὑτῶν ἀναμιμνῃσκομένους: οὔκουν μνήμης ἀλλὰ ὑπομνήσεως φάρμακον ηὗρες. σοφίας δὲ τοῖς μαθηταῖς δόξαν, οὐκ ἀλήθειαν πορίζεις: πολυήκοοι γάρ.

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[275a] τοῦτο γὰρ τῶν μαθόντων λήθην μὲν ἐν ψυχαῖς παρέξει μνήμης ἀμελετησίᾳ, ἅτε διὰ πίστιν γραφῆς ἔξωθεν ὑπ᾽ ἀλλοτρίων τύπων, οὐκ ἔνδοθεν αὐτοὺς ὑφ᾽ αὑτῶν ἀναμιμνῃσκομένους: οὔκουν μνήμης ἀλλὰ ὑπομνήσεως φάρμακον ηὗρες. σοφίας δὲ τοῖς μαθηταῖς δόξαν, οὐκ ἀλήθειαν πορίζεις: πολυήκοοι γάρ.

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And it is precisely this sort of knowing that is developed

And it is precisely this sort of knowing that is developed

by Socrates as the alternative and positive sort of writing

by Socrates as the alternative and positive sort of writing

presented by the metaphor of writing in the soul. Opposed to

presented by the metaphor of writing in the soul. Opposed to

the external recording of information, a writing in the soul,

the external recording of information, a writing in the soul,

the teacher’s planting of the seed of thought into the mind of

the teacher’s planting of the seed of thought into the mind of

the student, is actually a living process of thinking, a mental

the student, is actually a living process of thinking, a mental

activity of generating the idea originally from within.

activity of generating the idea originally from within.

At this point the reader of the dialogue should also pick

At this point the reader of the dialogue should also pick

up on the irony of the rejection of writing in the Theuth

up on the irony of the rejection of writing in the Theuth

myth – the text in front of us is planting the seed of thought

myth – the text in front of us is planting the seed of thought

into the reader’s soul and, very unlike the writing criticized

into the reader’s soul and, very unlike the writing criticized

by Thamus, this seed constitutes remembering, original

by Thamus, this seed constitutes remembering, original

thought, thinking the thought from the origins, from the

thought, thinking the thought from the origins, from the

roots. The dialectic of the Phaedrus initially leads the reader

roots. The dialectic of the Phaedrus initially leads the reader

down the errant path of faith in the character of Socrates as

down the errant path of faith in the character of Socrates as

supposedly conveying a doctrine. In fact, most philosophical

supposedly conveying a doctrine. In fact, most philosophical

commentaries on this dialogue remain at the level of errant

commentaries on this dialogue remain at the level of errant

doctrine, since they have forgotten how to read the Platonic

doctrine, since they have forgotten how to read the Platonic

text as a pedagogical text, as irony that demands an inner

text as a pedagogical text, as irony that demands an inner

turning in the reader.

turning in the reader.

As the writing written by the teacher in the soul of the

As the writing written by the teacher in the soul of the

student is a living text that grows and produces its own

student is a living text that grows and produces its own

offspring in the mind of the student, so also the writing in a

offspring in the mind of the student, so also the writing in a

work of literature has its own soul and produces its own

work of literature has its own soul and produces its own

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offspring in the mind of the reader of the text. When we

offspring in the mind of the reader of the text. When we

speak of the spirit in the text, we mean precisely the

speak of the spirit in the text, we mean precisely the

interpretive potential in that text itself, as when Heidegger

interpretive potential in that text itself, as when Heidegger

speaks of reading and interpreting as a Gespräch,

speaks of reading and interpreting as a Gespräch,

Zwiegespräch or Zwiesprache (conversation, dialogue,

Zwiegespräch or Zwiesprache (conversation, dialogue,

communion) and Lin Yutang speaks of the ancient author as

communion) and Lin Yutang speaks of the ancient author as

friend in spirit, and speaks of the author and reader as an

friend in spirit, and speaks of the author and reader as an

affinity of spirits and re-incarnations of the same soul. In

affinity of spirits and re-incarnations of the same soul. In

both Greece and China philosophy began in conversations

both Greece and China philosophy began in conversations

among friends (rather than formal lectures to a passive

among friends (rather than formal lectures to a passive

audience), and it is this conversational and interactive mode

audience), and it is this conversational and interactive mode

that characterizes the literary text when it achieves the status

that characterizes the literary text when it achieves the status

of a teacher. One reads the text, not to receive a doctrine or a

of a teacher. One reads the text, not to receive a doctrine or a

dogma, but as stimulus to inner turning, freeing of the soul

dogma, but as stimulus to inner turning, freeing of the soul

towards direct understanding of the world.

towards direct understanding of the world.

The content of the text is perceived by the reader, not as

The content of the text is perceived by the reader, not as

a truth, but as the instigation for a turning to another content

a truth, but as the instigation for a turning to another content

that is accessible directly to this reader. The text mediates by

that is accessible directly to this reader. The text mediates by

turning the mind, not by interpreting the content to be

turning the mind, not by interpreting the content to be

understood. The message of the text is the activation in the

understood. The message of the text is the activation in the

reader that brings out a content.

reader that brings out a content.

This parallels Freud's view of dream interpretation. The

This parallels Freud's view of dream interpretation. The

manifest content of the dream is not the true content, but

manifest content of the dream is not the true content, but

rather serves as a means to a deeper content. It doesn’t

rather serves as a means to a deeper content. It doesn’t

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contain the deeper content in an interpreted form, but rather

contain the deeper content in an interpreted form, but rather

contains the stimulus that can instigate the mind towards the

contains the stimulus that can instigate the mind towards the

deeper latent dream thought.

deeper latent dream thought.

Let’s return to the original model. A Zen master's

Let’s return to the original model. A Zen master's

response to the student is typically indifferent to the content

response to the student is typically indifferent to the content

of the question. This first of all suggests the master is not

of the question. This first of all suggests the master is not

responding to the content itself, but to the manner of the

responding to the content itself, but to the manner of the

student’s asking, the manner of seeking an answer. But even

student’s asking, the manner of seeking an answer. But even

here the response is, if not arbitrary, at least indirect. Why

here the response is, if not arbitrary, at least indirect. Why

not direct? Instead of the kick, direct statement: You need to

not direct? Instead of the kick, direct statement: You need to

find it out for yourself. Plato also could have simply told us,

find it out for yourself. Plato also could have simply told us,

in a treatise, that the philosophy text should not provide the

in a treatise, that the philosophy text should not provide the

answers, but should stimulate the student to seek them for

answers, but should stimulate the student to seek them for

himself. What were Huineng and Plato, and Laozi,

himself. What were Huineng and Plato, and Laozi,

Confucius, Mencius up to by not simply saying things up

Confucius, Mencius up to by not simply saying things up

front? Why put the reader through such torture? If this

front? Why put the reader through such torture? If this

objection holds, then our interpreting translators would

objection holds, then our interpreting translators would

prove themselves to be superior to the masters by correcting

prove themselves to be superior to the masters by correcting

this error.

this error.

Plato seemed to have anticipated this response, and at

Plato seemed to have anticipated this response, and at

one point, in the Statesman, has his Socrates – after

one point, in the Statesman, has his Socrates – after

indulging in a drawn-out myth (μῦθος) about the origin of

indulging in a drawn-out myth (μῦθος) about the origin of

the human race involving a reversal of time accompanied by

the human race involving a reversal of time accompanied by

a reversal of the earth’s rotation, this on the way to

a reversal of the earth’s rotation, this on the way to

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discerning the political art – suddenly announce that there is

discerning the political art – suddenly announce that there is

need of an explanation of his practice of constantly reverting

need of an explanation of his practice of constantly reverting

to narrative models, paradigms (παραδείγμασι). And so, he

to narrative models, paradigms (παραδείγμασι). And so, he

sets out to explain this – of course, by means of another

sets out to explain this – of course, by means of another

paradigm, the paradigm of children learning letters. In

paradigm, the paradigm of children learning letters. In

substance, the learning of letters serves as a method of

substance, the learning of letters serves as a method of

compare and contrast, to learn the letters by first starting

compare and contrast, to learn the letters by first starting

with those cases where they do recognize the letter in a word

with those cases where they do recognize the letter in a word

and then comparing the cases they don’t know, to recognize

and then comparing the cases they don’t know, to recognize

them as the same, if they are the same, or different, if they

them as the same, if they are the same, or different, if they

are different.

are different.

As depicted here, a paradigm 35 seems to have two

As depicted here, a paradigm 35 seems to have two

interrelated sides. First, the knowing is rooted (本) in us, it is

interrelated sides. First, the knowing is rooted (本) in us, it is

we who see the resemblance or lack of resemblance. We are

we who see the resemblance or lack of resemblance. We are

not reciting something or memorizing something. We are,

not reciting something or memorizing something. We are,

perhaps, remembering, in that uniquely Platonic sense that

perhaps, remembering, in that uniquely Platonic sense that

we are using our own minds to grow an idea based on a seed

we are using our own minds to grow an idea based on a seed

that has been planted there. The seed is the paradigm, the

that has been planted there. The seed is the paradigm, the

myth. Prior to and after introducing the learning of the

myth. Prior to and after introducing the learning of the

35

35

I’m using the English form of the Greek word παράδειγμα, and in no way suggesting this to be some special claim about a word’s meaning. Words don’t have single meanings. There many spheres of overlap between words such as paradigm, example, metaphor, analogy, story, myth, and so forth. Plato and Aristotle understood how language works and did not define words, but rather explored meanings, shades of meaning. Aristotle brings this out well with his πολλαχῶς λέγεται ([it] is meant in many ways).

I’m using the English form of the Greek word παράδειγμα, and in no way suggesting this to be some special claim about a word’s meaning. Words don’t have single meanings. There many spheres of overlap between words such as paradigm, example, metaphor, analogy, story, myth, and so forth. Plato and Aristotle understood how language works and did not define words, but rather explored meanings, shades of meaning. Aristotle brings this out well with his πολλαχῶς λέγεται ([it] is meant in many ways).

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letters as a paradigm to explain the use of paradigms in

letters as a paradigm to explain the use of paradigms in

writing, another clue is dropped, another paradigm, the

writing, another clue is dropped, another paradigm, the

contrast between a dream and wakeful knowledge. This

contrast between a dream and wakeful knowledge. This

distinction plays on the notion of learning as remembering –

distinction plays on the notion of learning as remembering –

a process in which one does not gain knowledge from

a process in which one does not gain knowledge from

outside, but remembers what one once knew. The child’s

outside, but remembers what one once knew. The child’s

coming to know letters is based on his own inherent capacity

coming to know letters is based on his own inherent capacity

to compare and contrast. The metaphor, the paradigm, the

to compare and contrast. The metaphor, the paradigm, the

myth, these don’t impart knowledge into us, but rather

myth, these don’t impart knowledge into us, but rather

activate our own minds to discover for ourselves. If true

activate our own minds to discover for ourselves. If true

learning is the inner process of the student’s mind, not a

learning is the inner process of the student’s mind, not a

delivery of interpreted content from outside, then the true

delivery of interpreted content from outside, then the true

philosophical text, the text for true learning, will be the one

philosophical text, the text for true learning, will be the one

that employs myth, paradigm, and metaphor. The text that

that employs myth, paradigm, and metaphor. The text that

offers us a doctrine to recite or memorize will be subject to

offers us a doctrine to recite or memorize will be subject to

Thamus’ objection, that it can only “provide students the

Thamus’ objection, that it can only “provide students the

pretense of wisdom, not truth.” It will be impressive in

pretense of wisdom, not truth.” It will be impressive in

respect to the theories that are in fashion at any particular

respect to the theories that are in fashion at any particular

time.

time.

But this transition from Zen master or historical

But this transition from Zen master or historical

Socrates to the text as master, involves an important

Socrates to the text as master, involves an important

difference. A master, as noted, knows the nature of the

difference. A master, as noted, knows the nature of the

student, knows exactly how to lure this student into the trap,

student, knows exactly how to lure this student into the trap,

how to pull the chair out from under him and leave him

how to pull the chair out from under him and leave him

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clinging to his own devises, at which point the world opens

clinging to his own devises, at which point the world opens

up to direct contact. It requires a knowledge of the mean (τὸ

up to direct contact. It requires a knowledge of the mean (τὸ

μέσον), 36 explained by the stranger in the Statesman to be

μέσον), 36 explained by the stranger in the Statesman to be

different than the mathematical middle. There is no

different than the mathematical middle. There is no

mathematical or quantitative science of what is fitting and

mathematical or quantitative science of what is fitting and

proper to the student. So in adapting the mean to the written

proper to the student. So in adapting the mean to the written

text, somehow what was learned from caring for an

text, somehow what was learned from caring for an

individual person must be extended to all foreseeable readers.

individual person must be extended to all foreseeable readers.

How does the literature of inner enlightenment recreate what

How does the literature of inner enlightenment recreate what

is suitable to a unique individual and make it fitting and

is suitable to a unique individual and make it fitting and

effective for the reader of a text that traverses the ages and

effective for the reader of a text that traverses the ages and

cultures? The art of writing, even in extending to a group of

cultures? The art of writing, even in extending to a group of

intellectuals, is already accomplishing this leap. The mark of

intellectuals, is already accomplishing this leap. The mark of

the great ones is that, perhaps totally unplanned by them,

the great ones is that, perhaps totally unplanned by them,

this was also a leap into eternity. The text speaks beyond

this was also a leap into eternity. The text speaks beyond

time and culture.

time and culture.

When Heidegger speaks of interpreting a text in terms

When Heidegger speaks of interpreting a text in terms

of a Zwiesprache or communion with the text, when Lin

of a Zwiesprache or communion with the text, when Lin

Yutang speaks of an intimacy with the author of the text,

Yutang speaks of an intimacy with the author of the text,

when Nietzsche invokes “what Schopenhauer, in contrast to

when Nietzsche invokes “what Schopenhauer, in contrast to

the republic of scholars, called a republic of geniuses: one

the republic of scholars, called a republic of geniuses: one

giant calls the other through the barren spaces of the

giant calls the other through the barren spaces of the

36

36

In Philebus (284e), the stranger gives the mean (τὸ μέσον) as: the moderate, the fitting, the opportune (time), and the needful or what is right (τὸ μέτριον καὶ τὸ πρέπον καὶ τὸν καιρὸν καὶ τὸ δέον)

In Philebus (284e), the stranger gives the mean (τὸ μέσον) as: the moderate, the fitting, the opportune (time), and the needful or what is right (τὸ μέτριον καὶ τὸ πρέπον καὶ τὸν καιρὸν καὶ τὸ δέον)

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times,” 37 we see a text that is both intimate and personal, yet

times,” 37 we see a text that is both intimate and personal, yet

universal, appealing to the best minds in all times and places.

universal, appealing to the best minds in all times and places.

I am connecting three stages of enlightenment, or three

I am connecting three stages of enlightenment, or three

avenues to enlightenment: the first through a Zen master or a

avenues to enlightenment: the first through a Zen master or a

Socrates; the second through the literary text (my examples

Socrates; the second through the literary text (my examples

are philosophy texts, but looking at them as literary texts),

are philosophy texts, but looking at them as literary texts),

and the third is through the literary translation. The Zen

and the third is through the literary translation. The Zen

master writes on the soul of the student and is faithful to

master writes on the soul of the student and is faithful to

reality, does not change reality, but directs the student

reality, does not change reality, but directs the student

towards it. The creative writer, creating from the origins of

towards it. The creative writer, creating from the origins of

reality, is true to reality (though his characters and events are

reality, is true to reality (though his characters and events are

not factual), writing a text that can reach through the ages,

not factual), writing a text that can reach through the ages,

reach many, and transform readers in a way that they can

reach many, and transform readers in a way that they can

turn originally and directly to that reality. The literary

turn originally and directly to that reality. The literary

translation, the product of a knowing translator, shares in a

translation, the product of a knowing translator, shares in a

sense of trust and fidelity to literary truthfulness. The respect

sense of trust and fidelity to literary truthfulness. The respect

to the reader is that of a teacher. Faithfully imparting the

to the reader is that of a teacher. Faithfully imparting the

literary way of the teacher – the original writer, and the

literary way of the teacher – the original writer, and the

original text – the translator brings them to the inner learning

original text – the translator brings them to the inner learning

experience of the student. That means above all the

experience of the student. That means above all the

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37

“...was Schopenhauer im Gegensatz zu der Gelehrten-Republik eine Genialen-Republik genannt hat: ein Riese ruft dem anderen durch die öden Zwischenräume der Zeiten zu.” (Friedrich Nietzsche, “Die Philosophie im tragischen Zeitalter der Griechen”)

“...was Schopenhauer im Gegensatz zu der Gelehrten-Republik eine Genialen-Republik genannt hat: ein Riese ruft dem anderen durch die öden Zwischenräume der Zeiten zu.” (Friedrich Nietzsche, “Die Philosophie im tragischen Zeitalter der Griechen”)

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translator will not interpret, but will ensure that the student

translator will not interpret, but will ensure that the student

is faced with all of the paradox and aporia of the original.

is faced with all of the paradox and aporia of the original.

We often think a literary translator should be faithful to

We often think a literary translator should be faithful to

the original, but do we really ask why he should be faithful?

the original, but do we really ask why he should be faithful?

The reason should come out of the nature of the content at

The reason should come out of the nature of the content at

hand, at least when it comes to the best literary texts, those

hand, at least when it comes to the best literary texts, those

that serve the function of inner enlightenment. In many ways,

that serve the function of inner enlightenment. In many ways,

when we get to the last stage of this investigation, literary

when we get to the last stage of this investigation, literary

translation, we also understand better the function of

translation, we also understand better the function of

teaching as a whole, and literature as a whole. The final

teaching as a whole, and literature as a whole. The final

stage, which might seem to be simply tacked on, is actually,

stage, which might seem to be simply tacked on, is actually,

in many senses, the fulfilling and defining stage of teaching

in many senses, the fulfilling and defining stage of teaching

and writing of the best literature. It carries literature and

and writing of the best literature. It carries literature and

teaching the furthest in time and space.

teaching the furthest in time and space.

Literary translation

Literary translation

In respect to the process of teaching as inner enlightenment,

In respect to the process of teaching as inner enlightenment,

translation is the third phase, but it is the defining phase, the

translation is the third phase, but it is the defining phase, the

phase that reveals the truth of the preceding two, the teacher

phase that reveals the truth of the preceding two, the teacher

and the literary text. Translation is the afterlife of the best

and the literary text. Translation is the afterlife of the best

literary texts, not just in the trivial sense that the text’s

literary texts, not just in the trivial sense that the text’s

teaching is extended beyond natural language barriers

teaching is extended beyond natural language barriers

(where beyond natural language parallels beyond natural life,

(where beyond natural language parallels beyond natural life,

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a sort of heaven), but also more profoundly in that a

a sort of heaven), but also more profoundly in that a

translation is also a qualitative extension of the original, a

translation is also a qualitative extension of the original, a

completion of it, or a step in that completion. The translation

completion of it, or a step in that completion. The translation

goes to the roots of the original in the sense that it also

goes to the roots of the original in the sense that it also

liberates from the constraints of the original's natural

liberates from the constraints of the original's natural

language. But this is achieved only when there is utmost

language. But this is achieved only when there is utmost

fidelity to the original. Only in this sense is it the

fidelity to the original. Only in this sense is it the

enlightenment potential of the original that is liberated in a

enlightenment potential of the original that is liberated in a

literary translation. In this translation, the writer, the

literary translation. In this translation, the writer, the

translator, and the reader are united as one.

translator, and the reader are united as one.

Some forty years ago, in the preface to his translation of

Some forty years ago, in the preface to his translation of

Plato's Republic, Allan Bloom presented the problem of the

Plato's Republic, Allan Bloom presented the problem of the

practice of translating Plato by interpreting, clarifying, and

practice of translating Plato by interpreting, clarifying, and

improving the text according to the translator's vision of

improving the text according to the translator's vision of

what, in the translator’s mind, Plato meant. In substance

what, in the translator’s mind, Plato meant. In substance

Bloom was arguing that this “tyranny of the translator”

Bloom was arguing that this “tyranny of the translator”

destroys the text's pedagogical function, what it is all about,

destroys the text's pedagogical function, what it is all about,

that interpreting the text prevents the reader from actively

that interpreting the text prevents the reader from actively

experiencing the interpretive process as Plato’s student. The

experiencing the interpretive process as Plato’s student. The

pedagogical effect of the text is erased.

pedagogical effect of the text is erased.

In his defense of the faithful Plato translation, Bloom

In his defense of the faithful Plato translation, Bloom

seems to suggest that it is some doctrine in the text itself that

seems to suggest that it is some doctrine in the text itself that

is at play: “His greatest vice is to believe he has adequately

is at play: “His greatest vice is to believe he has adequately

grasped the teaching of his author.” “The translator cannot

grasped the teaching of his author.” “The translator cannot

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hope to have understood it all, but he must not begrudge his

hope to have understood it all, but he must not begrudge his

possible moral and intellectual superiors their possibility of

possible moral and intellectual superiors their possibility of

insight.” (pp. xi, xxiii) It is only this idea of a hidden

insight.” (pp. xi, xxiii) It is only this idea of a hidden

doctrine is the part of Bloom's essay that I don't accept.

doctrine is the part of Bloom's essay that I don't accept.

(Maybe, to be fair, I could also understand Bloom to allow

(Maybe, to be fair, I could also understand Bloom to allow

that, in line with the discussion of the Phaedrus above, this

that, in line with the discussion of the Phaedrus above, this

content might be, not a teaching or a doctrine to be conveyed,

content might be, not a teaching or a doctrine to be conveyed,

but an instigation to the student having the goal of

but an instigation to the student having the goal of

enlightenment. Bloom wants to pose his argument to include

enlightenment. Bloom wants to pose his argument to include

those who do believe there is a doctrine. It doesn’t

those who do believe there is a doctrine. It doesn’t

necessarily mean he is committed to that position.)

necessarily mean he is committed to that position.)

In most translations of Plato Bloom perceives an

In most translations of Plato Bloom perceives an

“unwillingness to accept certain unpalatable or shocking

“unwillingness to accept certain unpalatable or shocking

statements or teachings...” (p. xviii) The revision-type

statements or teachings...” (p. xviii) The revision-type

translations subtly rewrite the text on the basis of current

translations subtly rewrite the text on the basis of current

patterns of thought and language, implicitly using today’s

patterns of thought and language, implicitly using today’s

dominant thought pattern as a justification for erasing

dominant thought pattern as a justification for erasing

literary features of the original. It is in order to preserve the

literary features of the original. It is in order to preserve the

openness contained in the interpretive field of the original

openness contained in the interpretive field of the original

that Bloom insists on translation fidelity in detail. The reader

that Bloom insists on translation fidelity in detail. The reader

is paralleled to Socrates’ disciple, who “is never allowed to

is paralleled to Socrates’ disciple, who “is never allowed to

sit and passively receive the words of wisdom from the

sit and passively receive the words of wisdom from the

mouth of the master.” The translator of a text on that

mouth of the master.” The translator of a text on that

pedagogical model “must, insofar as humanly possible,

pedagogical model “must, insofar as humanly possible,

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present all the nuances of the original – the oaths, the

present all the nuances of the original – the oaths, the

repetitions of words, the slight changes in form of responses,

repetitions of words, the slight changes in form of responses,

etc. – so that the reader can look at the progress of the drama

etc. – so that the reader can look at the progress of the drama

with all the perceptiveness and sharpness of which his nature

with all the perceptiveness and sharpness of which his nature

permits him….” (p. xxii – xxiii)

permits him….” (p. xxii – xxiii)

Bloom's essay lays out the key reason for fidelity in

Bloom's essay lays out the key reason for fidelity in

respect to translating Plato’s text, but he doesn’t attempt to

respect to translating Plato’s text, but he doesn’t attempt to

extend this to literature in general, or to a certain kind of

extend this to literature in general, or to a certain kind of

literature. But, as I have argued, the enlightenment feature

literature. But, as I have argued, the enlightenment feature

belongs to literature itself, or to the best literature, or a kind

belongs to literature itself, or to the best literature, or a kind

of literature. This opens the way to justifying fidelity in

of literature. This opens the way to justifying fidelity in

literary translation, at least for a kind of literature, in terms

literary translation, at least for a kind of literature, in terms

of the enlightenment function.

of the enlightenment function.

In another respect as well Bloom’s insight falls short of

In another respect as well Bloom’s insight falls short of

what I’m suggesting here, since Bloom’s depiction of

what I’m suggesting here, since Bloom’s depiction of

literary translation, even in the case of Plato, leaves it as

literary translation, even in the case of Plato, leaves it as

really nothing more than a skill in faithfully transmitting –

really nothing more than a skill in faithfully transmitting –

there is nothing in what Bloom says that gives to the

there is nothing in what Bloom says that gives to the

translator any special creative role or gives to the translation

translator any special creative role or gives to the translation

itself any special place. On the basis of Bloom’s presentation

itself any special place. On the basis of Bloom’s presentation

(restricting it to Plato), we must take literary translation to

(restricting it to Plato), we must take literary translation to

be simply a second best. Bloom does not attempt (wisely so,

be simply a second best. Bloom does not attempt (wisely so,

as it is beyond the concern of his essay, focused on Plato

as it is beyond the concern of his essay, focused on Plato

translation) to defend literary (or philosophic) translation

translation) to defend literary (or philosophic) translation

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vis-a-vis the original in the way that some, on Platonic

vis-a-vis the original in the way that some, on Platonic

grounds, have defended philosophical writing vis-a-vis

grounds, have defended philosophical writing vis-a-vis

spoken dialogue between teacher and student.

spoken dialogue between teacher and student.

Literary translation, as the third stage in stages of fidelity,

Literary translation, as the third stage in stages of fidelity,

would seem to be furthest removed from the truth, at best a

would seem to be furthest removed from the truth, at best a

substitute for the superior original, which is itself a

substitute for the superior original, which is itself a

substitute for the superior actual teacher. One could even

substitute for the superior actual teacher. One could even

take this as an extension of a Platonic observation, based on

take this as an extension of a Platonic observation, based on

a surface reading of The Republic, where art is mentioned as

a surface reading of The Republic, where art is mentioned as

an imitation of reality (itself already an imitation of the

an imitation of reality (itself already an imitation of the

forms) – so wouldn’t translation be an imitation of an

forms) – so wouldn’t translation be an imitation of an

imitation of an imitation? In one sense, the loss of something

imitation of an imitation? In one sense, the loss of something

in the translation step hardly needs any defense, and within

in the translation step hardly needs any defense, and within

the sphere of philosophy, it has always been thought that the

the sphere of philosophy, it has always been thought that the

move from speaking to writing lowers pedagogical effect –

move from speaking to writing lowers pedagogical effect –

as attested by one way of reading Plato’s Phaedrus, a

as attested by one way of reading Plato’s Phaedrus, a

reported remark by Aristotle about the value of his lectures

reported remark by Aristotle about the value of his lectures

versus his published texts, and a general way of thinking

versus his published texts, and a general way of thinking

among German thinkers in the early nineteenth century. The

among German thinkers in the early nineteenth century. The

Chinese tradition is no less skeptical of the written text as a

Chinese tradition is no less skeptical of the written text as a

medium of enlightenment, as we see, for example, in the

medium of enlightenment, as we see, for example, in the

wheelwright discussion in Zhuangzi and the whole tenor of

wheelwright discussion in Zhuangzi and the whole tenor of

Chan Buddhism in respect to the written word. In light of

Chan Buddhism in respect to the written word. In light of

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this, in what sense could literary translation, the extreme and

this, in what sense could literary translation, the extreme and

last teacher, be seen to bear out the essence of the process of

last teacher, be seen to bear out the essence of the process of

enlightenment?

enlightenment?

The three phases of education as internal enlightenment

The three phases of education as internal enlightenment

have central features in common – trust in the teacher,

have central features in common – trust in the teacher,

education as inner turning in the student (not transmitted

education as inner turning in the student (not transmitted

dogma), and a fidelity to reality. The progression from

dogma), and a fidelity to reality. The progression from

teacher to literary text to literary translation moves to the

teacher to literary text to literary translation moves to the

less intimate and more universal. The personal relation

less intimate and more universal. The personal relation

between student and teacher is replaced first by the more

between student and teacher is replaced first by the more

general and less intimate relation between a text and a

general and less intimate relation between a text and a

readership that shares language and culture with the text

readership that shares language and culture with the text

itself, then this is replaced by the relation between a literary

itself, then this is replaced by the relation between a literary

translation and a readership that is of a different language

translation and a readership that is of a different language

and culture to the original. The latter we can initially think

and culture to the original. The latter we can initially think

of as even less intimate (for the reason that, in general, one

of as even less intimate (for the reason that, in general, one

is less intimate with people in a foreign culture) and more

is less intimate with people in a foreign culture) and more

universal in the sense of being beyond a language

universal in the sense of being beyond a language

community and moving to the level of universality that can

community and moving to the level of universality that can

transmit beyond culture (even the best translation will have

transmit beyond culture (even the best translation will have

to sacrifice some cultural idiosyncrasies).

to sacrifice some cultural idiosyncrasies).

And yet another intuition and experience points to the

And yet another intuition and experience points to the

opposite. Lin spoke of the love affair with the ancient writer,

opposite. Lin spoke of the love affair with the ancient writer,

a “spiritual affinity,” “re-incarnations of the same soul.” In

a “spiritual affinity,” “re-incarnations of the same soul.” In

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some sense, the temporally distant sage/author can indeed be

some sense, the temporally distant sage/author can indeed be

more intimate than one’s contemporaries, as though the

more intimate than one’s contemporaries, as though the

distance itself added depth to the intimacy; and according to

distance itself added depth to the intimacy; and according to

the same pattern, a cross-cultural translation can give a sense

the same pattern, a cross-cultural translation can give a sense

of intimacy beyond that provided by a text in one’s native

of intimacy beyond that provided by a text in one’s native

language and culture.

language and culture.

Is there a sense in which, among the three stages of

Is there a sense in which, among the three stages of

teaching, the literary translation is the best teacher, or at

teaching, the literary translation is the best teacher, or at

least offers a sense that is incomplete at the other stages? We

least offers a sense that is incomplete at the other stages? We

can extend the argument made for the advantage of the

can extend the argument made for the advantage of the

literary text over direct contact with a living teacher. The

literary text over direct contact with a living teacher. The

written text gains in universality and purity. Practically

written text gains in universality and purity. Practically

speaking, it reaches a larger audience, and in particular it

speaking, it reaches a larger audience, and in particular it

carries down in time, given that a written text survives better

carries down in time, given that a written text survives better

than the spoken word. Here we see the close connection to

than the spoken word. Here we see the close connection to

culture in the sense of paideia, a transmitted spirituality or

culture in the sense of paideia, a transmitted spirituality or

mental framework, a morality in the sense of enlightenment.

mental framework, a morality in the sense of enlightenment.

There is a reason why writing is closely connected with

There is a reason why writing is closely connected with

enlightenment, since it doesn’t occur in a vacuum, but is a

enlightenment, since it doesn’t occur in a vacuum, but is a

cultural acquisition. Written teaching makes it possible for

cultural acquisition. Written teaching makes it possible for

culture and enlightenment to be handed down through the

culture and enlightenment to be handed down through the

generations. Like Confucius says, I’m a transmitter, not a

generations. Like Confucius says, I’m a transmitter, not a

creator, I’m true to the ancients and love them... Similarly,

creator, I’m true to the ancients and love them... Similarly,

the literary translation further extends the range of the text,

the literary translation further extends the range of the text,

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not only in time, but now in space, across cultures. But what

not only in time, but now in space, across cultures. But what

qualitative difference does this entail? Is there here a parallel

qualitative difference does this entail? Is there here a parallel

to the different sense of intimacy achieved in moving from

to the different sense of intimacy achieved in moving from

teacher to literary text?

teacher to literary text?

In his essay “Task of the Translator,” Walter Benjamin

In his essay “Task of the Translator,” Walter Benjamin

suggests that a literary translation is the survival or lingering,

suggests that a literary translation is the survival or lingering,

To be sure, he

continued existence of the literary text. 38 To be sure, he

doesn’t mean survival simply in the obvious sense that the

doesn’t mean survival simply in the obvious sense that the

translation makes the text available to future generations and

translation makes the text available to future generations and

to a wider cultural reception. The survival in the form of

to a wider cultural reception. The survival in the form of

literary translation adds something essential to the original, a

literary translation adds something essential to the original, a

faithful translation completes the original (or, as one of a

faithful translation completes the original (or, as one of a

series of all possible future translations, is one present in that

series of all possible future translations, is one present in that

completion), though that completion is already potential in

completion), though that completion is already potential in

the original, limited by its natural language. I want to

the original, limited by its natural language. I want to

suggest, without specifically arguing for it as Benjamin's

suggest, without specifically arguing for it as Benjamin's

view, a way in which something like this continued

view, a way in which something like this continued

existence of the literary text can happen in terms of the

existence of the literary text can happen in terms of the

interpretive potential of the original.

interpretive potential of the original.

38

38

continued existence of the literary text.

38

Benjamin neither says nor, to my mind, means “afterlife” in the sense that word most prominently has in English, life after death. The standard German word for afterlife is Nachleben, whereas Benjamin used Fortleben, meaning continued life, survival, lingering.

Benjamin neither says nor, to my mind, means “afterlife” in the sense that word most prominently has in English, life after death. The standard German word for afterlife is Nachleben, whereas Benjamin used Fortleben, meaning continued life, survival, lingering.

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Anyone who’s studied a few foreign languages knows,

Anyone who’s studied a few foreign languages knows,

by comparison, how difficult and unnatural it is to interpret

by comparison, how difficult and unnatural it is to interpret

one’s native tongue, precisely because one knows it too well,

one’s native tongue, precisely because one knows it too well,

one breathes it, so to speak. Asking about one’s native

one breathes it, so to speak. Asking about one’s native

language is like asking a fish about the water. We breathe it,

language is like asking a fish about the water. We breathe it,

so we don’t need to think about it. That gives a spontaneity

so we don’t need to think about it. That gives a spontaneity

to everyday speech, gossip around the wash-well, as they

to everyday speech, gossip around the wash-well, as they

say, but as for poetry, which is already a language of its own

say, but as for poetry, which is already a language of its own

(its poetic usage of ordinary words), familiarity may be more

(its poetic usage of ordinary words), familiarity may be more

a detriment than an aid. In this connection, Heidegger has

a detriment than an aid. In this connection, Heidegger has

noted how translating within one's own language is more

noted how translating within one's own language is more

difficult than translating from another language:

difficult than translating from another language:

“...translating one's own language into its own words

“...translating one's own language into its own words

always remains the most difficult thing. So, for example,

always remains the most difficult thing. So, for example,

the translation of the words of a German thinker into

the translation of the words of a German thinker into

German is particularly difficult because here the

German is particularly difficult because here the

stubborn prejudice holds sway that we understand the

stubborn prejudice holds sway that we understand the

German word as self-evident because it belongs to our

German word as self-evident because it belongs to our

own language, whereas in the translating of Greek

own language, whereas in the translating of Greek

words we first have to learn the foreign language.” 39

words we first have to learn the foreign language.” 39

39

39

Parmenides GA 54, p. 18. For this context, let me bracket, as Heidegger does, a discussion of how it even makes sense to speak of translating from one’s own language into one’s own language, “...to what extent and why all conversation (Gespräch) and every saying (Sagen) is an original

Parmenides GA 54, p. 18. For this context, let me bracket, as Heidegger does, a discussion of how it even makes sense to speak of translating from one’s own language into one’s own language, “...to what extent and why all conversation (Gespräch) and every saying (Sagen) is an original

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Aside from providing more argument against the ever-

Aside from providing more argument against the ever-

popular and convenient paraphrase method of translating,

popular and convenient paraphrase method of translating,

this statement sheds light on our hunch that, at least in some

this statement sheds light on our hunch that, at least in some

sense, a translation can be superior to the original – not by

sense, a translation can be superior to the original – not by

some personal embellishment of a poet-translator, but rather

some personal embellishment of a poet-translator, but rather

precisely in virtue of fidelity to the original. Beyond our not

precisely in virtue of fidelity to the original. Beyond our not

having to explicitly learn our own language anew, the mere

having to explicitly learn our own language anew, the mere

juxtaposition of two languages is crucial. When we read a

juxtaposition of two languages is crucial. When we read a

foreign language from the standpoint of translating it, we are

foreign language from the standpoint of translating it, we are

looking at it differently than were we simply trying to read it

looking at it differently than were we simply trying to read it

(supposing a spontaneous reading). The difference between

(supposing a spontaneous reading). The difference between

innumerable and endless may be of no consequence in

innumerable and endless may be of no consequence in

everyday parlance or casual reading, but may be of decisive

everyday parlance or casual reading, but may be of decisive

importance in a translation. 40 It is this level of fidelity at the

importance in a translation. 40 It is this level of fidelity at the

core of literary translation that can bring out potential that

core of literary translation that can bring out potential that

may remain hidden to the fluent reader of the original.

may remain hidden to the fluent reader of the original.

translating within one's own language (Sprache) and what here ʻtranslatingʼ actually means, this can't be more deeply discussed here....” 40 In the last line of the casual paraphrase translation, by Andrew Hurley, of Borges’ “The Garden of Forking Paths.” Hurley has “He does not know (no one can know) my endless contrition, and my weariness,” where Borges’ “mi innumerable contrición,” if faithfully translated, provides the very clue to the final twist of meaning in the story. (The slight awkwardness is also there in the Spanish, and itself serves to highlight the word.)

translating within one's own language (Sprache) and what here ʻtranslatingʼ actually means, this can't be more deeply discussed here....” 40 In the last line of the casual paraphrase translation, by Andrew Hurley, of Borges’ “The Garden of Forking Paths.” Hurley has “He does not know (no one can know) my endless contrition, and my weariness,” where Borges’ “mi innumerable contrición,” if faithfully translated, provides the very clue to the final twist of meaning in the story. (The slight awkwardness is also there in the Spanish, and itself serves to highlight the word.)

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This is one way that faithful translation liberates poetry

This is one way that faithful translation liberates poetry

from the limitations of natural language. A translation must

from the limitations of natural language. A translation must

refrain from interpretation as much as possible. But fidelity

refrain from interpretation as much as possible. But fidelity

has its own creative aspect, so long as we recognize, with

has its own creative aspect, so long as we recognize, with

Benjamin, that literary translation remains different than

Benjamin, that literary translation remains different than

41

creative writing precisely in that it is a technique. It is by

creative writing precisely in that it is a technique. 41 It is by

remaining faithful that translation introduces novelty that

remaining faithful that translation introduces novelty that

was blocked precisely by the over-familiarity of language to

was blocked precisely by the over-familiarity of language to

the native reader. We must remember that poetry (in our

the native reader. We must remember that poetry (in our

sense of creative writing) is not bound by natural language

sense of creative writing) is not bound by natural language

conventions and, already at home in its native language, its

conventions and, already at home in its native language, its

creativity lies precisely in introducing language in a way that

creativity lies precisely in introducing language in a way that

deviates from popular usage – not in wanton creativity, of

deviates from popular usage – not in wanton creativity, of

course, but with creative fidelity to reality itself, the book of

course, but with creative fidelity to reality itself, the book of

life. In this sense the poet is already a translator, faithfully

life. In this sense the poet is already a translator, faithfully

translating the language of the universe into a natural

translating the language of the universe into a natural

language and thereby creating a new language. This creative

language and thereby creating a new language. This creative

feature appears again with literary translation – though, it

feature appears again with literary translation – though, it

must be emphasized, only under the constraint of fidelity.

must be emphasized, only under the constraint of fidelity.

Benjamin speaks of a pure language (reine Sprache), the

Benjamin speaks of a pure language (reine Sprache), the

ideal totality of complementary intentions of all languages, 42

ideal totality of complementary intentions of all languages, 42

41

41

"Let's not deceive ourselves: it [translation] is first and foremost a technique." (Täuschen wir uns nicht: sie ist vor allem einmal eine Technik. From Walter Benjamin, Gesammelte Schriften 6, p. 158) 42 “Vielmehr beruht alle überhistorische Verwandtschaft der Sprachen

"Let's not deceive ourselves: it [translation] is first and foremost a technique." (Täuschen wir uns nicht: sie ist vor allem einmal eine Technik. From Walter Benjamin, Gesammelte Schriften 6, p. 158) 42 “Vielmehr beruht alle überhistorische Verwandtschaft der Sprachen

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as the aim of all translation of worthy texts. He distinguishes

as the aim of all translation of worthy texts. He distinguishes

the way of intending (die Art des Meinens) and the intended

the way of intending (die Art des Meinens) and the intended

(das Gemeinte), the former is the feature of literature bound

(das Gemeinte), the former is the feature of literature bound

to a specific natural language, while the latter is partially

to a specific natural language, while the latter is partially

attained with every faithful translation, since the new natural

attained with every faithful translation, since the new natural

language frees up features of intention in the art work that

language frees up features of intention in the art work that

were prevented by the limitations of the original language.

were prevented by the limitations of the original language.

With each translation, a new facet opens up in the move

With each translation, a new facet opens up in the move

towards pure language. Instead of being a defect, the

towards pure language. Instead of being a defect, the

translation’s difference from the original turns out to be its

translation’s difference from the original turns out to be its

very virtue, for it is due to being in a different natural

very virtue, for it is due to being in a different natural

language that each translation can be a step in the

language that each translation can be a step in the

completion of the original through liberating interpretive

completion of the original through liberating interpretive

nuances implicit in the original but restrained by limitations

nuances implicit in the original but restrained by limitations

of the original language. The translator’s task is not one of

of the original language. The translator’s task is not one of

interpreting the original, but quite the opposite, he must

interpreting the original, but quite the opposite, he must

renounce interpreting, and only in this fidelity to the original

renounce interpreting, and only in this fidelity to the original

is he able to liberate it, to enable its continued existence.

is he able to liberate it, to enable its continued existence.

Herein lies the translator’s creativity, in freeing the original

Herein lies the translator’s creativity, in freeing the original

through fidelity to it. This is the survival of the literary text

through fidelity to it. This is the survival of the literary text

that goes beyond the merely quantitative factor of extending

that goes beyond the merely quantitative factor of extending

darin, daß in ihrer jeder als ganzer jeweils eines und zwar dasselbe gemeint ist, das· dennoch keiner einzelnen von ihnen, sondern nur der Allheit ihrer einander ergänzenden Intentionen erreichbar ist: die reine Sprache.” (Benjamin, Gesammelte Schriften 4.1, p. 13)

darin, daß in ihrer jeder als ganzer jeweils eines und zwar dasselbe gemeint ist, das· dennoch keiner einzelnen von ihnen, sondern nur der Allheit ihrer einander ergänzenden Intentionen erreichbar ist: die reine Sprache.” (Benjamin, Gesammelte Schriften 4.1, p. 13)

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further into time and space, into the future and into diverse

further into time and space, into the future and into diverse

cultures. The translated literary text, the liberated original,

cultures. The translated literary text, the liberated original,

not only brings something new into the new culture, just as

not only brings something new into the new culture, just as

the original did in the original culture, but moreover it brings

the original did in the original culture, but moreover it brings

something new into the world.

something new into the world.

The master, the creative writer, the literary translator – each

The master, the creative writer, the literary translator – each

truly creates only by means of originality in the sense of

truly creates only by means of originality in the sense of

fidelity to the origins. Translator creativity has something of

fidelity to the origins. Translator creativity has something of

non-action (无为) in it in that it is achieved only by its

non-action (无为) in it in that it is achieved only by its

utmost renunciation. We should follow the model provided

utmost renunciation. We should follow the model provided

by Tao Yuanming in “The Peach Blossom Spring”: when

by Tao Yuanming in “The Peach Blossom Spring”: when

the fisherman followed the peach blossom spring, he came

the fisherman followed the peach blossom spring, he came

upon the hidden utopian village, but when he returned with

upon the hidden utopian village, but when he returned with

the intention of finding it, he couldn’t. Likewise, translators

the intention of finding it, he couldn’t. Likewise, translators

pursuing fidelity and truth will be creative in their earnest

pursuing fidelity and truth will be creative in their earnest

pursuit of truth, but when they strive with their personal

pursuit of truth, but when they strive with their personal

touch to be creative translators, they will be flaky producers

touch to be creative translators, they will be flaky producers

of whimsical trash. Every student of philosophy or of life

of whimsical trash. Every student of philosophy or of life

goes through the stages, first rejecting every idea they read

goes through the stages, first rejecting every idea they read

and relying on personal whim. At some point they will

and relying on personal whim. At some point they will

overcome their ego and fall in love with a teacher or a book,

overcome their ego and fall in love with a teacher or a book,

learn it by the letter. It is when the teacher releases the

learn it by the letter. It is when the teacher releases the

student to his own devises that he can detach himself from

student to his own devises that he can detach himself from

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Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 13, Nov., 2018

Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 13, Nov., 2018

his ego and social illusions and pursue the world directly,

his ego and social illusions and pursue the world directly,

devoted to truth. Now he is ripe for becoming a literary

devoted to truth. Now he is ripe for becoming a literary

translator. It is now that the student comes home to the

translator. It is now that the student comes home to the

original, sleeps with it, relives it, and only then does he

original, sleeps with it, relives it, and only then does he

achieve true creativity. As teachers, writers, and translators,

achieve true creativity. As teachers, writers, and translators,

we are only truly creative when we renounce creativity and

we are only truly creative when we renounce creativity and

strive to be faithful – to the text, to our friends, to our

strive to be faithful – to the text, to our friends, to our

cultural heritage, and to ourselves.

cultural heritage, and to ourselves.

Greek and Chinese teaching and literature focused on

Greek and Chinese teaching and literature focused on

enlightenment, an inner turning of the soul away from life’s

enlightenment, an inner turning of the soul away from life’s

illusions, away from the affirmations of success, esteem,

illusions, away from the affirmations of success, esteem,

power, and money, and towards a seriousness to the truth,

power, and money, and towards a seriousness to the truth,

direct understanding of the world itself. This same inner

direct understanding of the world itself. This same inner

enlightenment and its resulting fidelity to the world are

enlightenment and its resulting fidelity to the world are

needed for the creation of enlightening literature, and the

needed for the creation of enlightening literature, and the

same sense of fidelity and personal detachment must guide

same sense of fidelity and personal detachment must guide

the truly creative translator, the translator whose work can

the truly creative translator, the translator whose work can

provide a continued and in some respect superior life for a

provide a continued and in some respect superior life for a

work of literature.

work of literature.

Translators who rewrite the text to their liking are all

Translators who rewrite the text to their liking are all

too attached to the world, to current disregard for fidelity, to

too attached to the world, to current disregard for fidelity, to

stylish fascination with translator freedom. It is a lack of

stylish fascination with translator freedom. It is a lack of

enlightenment, an attachment to worldly discourse, that

enlightenment, an attachment to worldly discourse, that

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prevents them from taking the original text seriously. Hence

prevents them from taking the original text seriously. Hence

the lines of Rudolf Pannwitz quoted by Walter Benjamin:

the lines of Rudolf Pannwitz quoted by Walter Benjamin:

“They hold much greater awe towards their own usage

“They hold much greater awe towards their own usage

of language than towards the spirit of the foreign work.”

of language than towards the spirit of the foreign work.”

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Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 13, Nov., 2018

Contributors (in alphabetical order)

Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 13, Nov., 2018

Contributors (in alphabetical order)

Chen Jiyi, Chinese fiction writer living in Beijing

Chen Jiyi, Chinese fiction writer living in Beijing

Chen Zhixiong, artist and calligrapher, president of

Chen Zhixiong, artist and calligrapher, president of

Chinese Culture and Arts Research Center, president

Chinese Culture and Arts Research Center, president

of Xuexiu Academy of Calligraphy and Art.

of Xuexiu Academy of Calligraphy and Art.

Craig Gallup, teacher at Southwest Illinois College

Craig Gallup, teacher at Southwest Illinois College

Tom Hoy, Independent scholar and writer living in

Tom Hoy, Independent scholar and writer living in

Australia

Australia

Timothy Huson, teacher at the School of English and Education, Guangdong University of Foreign Studies Li Huiyin, teacher at the School of English and

Timothy Huson, teacher at the School of English and Education, Guangdong University of Foreign Studies Li Huiyin, teacher at the School of English and

Education, Guangdong University of Foreign Studies

Education, Guangdong University of Foreign Studies

Liu Zhiting, Guangdong University of Foreign Studies

Liu Zhiting, Guangdong University of Foreign Studies

Lu Wei, teacher at the School of English and Education,

Lu Wei, teacher at the School of English and Education,

Guangdong University of Foreign Studies Kevin Nan Gan, doctoral student in musical arts and teaching assistant at Arizona State University Pang Huanyi, student in the School of Accountancy, Guangdong University of Foreign Studies

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Guangdong University of Foreign Studies Kevin Nan Gan, doctoral student in musical arts and teaching assistant at Arizona State University Pang Huanyi, student in the School of Accountancy, Guangdong University of Foreign Studies

244

Klaus Vieweg, professor in the Department of Philosophy, University of Jena Yan Xi Zao (Tan Chunli), medical interpreter and fiction writer living in Chicago, Illinois

Klaus Vieweg, professor in the Department of Philosophy, University of Jena Yan Xi Zao (Tan Chunli), medical interpreter and fiction writer living in Chicago, Illinois

Yu Hua, Chinese fiction writer living in Beijing

Yu Hua, Chinese fiction writer living in Beijing

Zhang Yu, Guangdong University of Foreign Studies

Zhang Yu, Guangdong University of Foreign Studies

Zhou Shengjie, student at the Universitiy of Hong Kong

Zhou Shengjie, student at the Universitiy of Hong Kong

Zhuang Jiamin, student at the School of Economics and

Zhuang Jiamin, student at the School of Economics and

Trade, Midea E-Commerce Co., Ltd., Shenzhen,

Trade, Midea E-Commerce Co., Ltd., Shenzhen,

China

China

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Editor-in-Chief

Editorial Board

Editor-in-Chief

Editorial Board

Chu Dongwei, Fulbright Scholar, Professor, School of Interpreting and Translation Studies, Guangdong University of Foreign Studies, China, affiliated with GDUFS Center for Foreign Literature and Culture, and GDUFS Center for Translation Studies.

Chu Dongwei, Fulbright Scholar, Professor, School of Interpreting and Translation Studies, Guangdong University of Foreign Studies, China, affiliated with GDUFS Center for Foreign Literature and Culture, and GDUFS Center for Translation Studies.

Advisers

Advisers

William H. Nienhauser, Jr., Jay C. and Ruth Halls-Bascom Professor, Department of East Asian Languages and Literature, University of Wisconsin, USA Feng Zhilin, Professor of Translation, Guangdong University of Foreign Studies, China

William H. Nienhauser, Jr., Jay C. and Ruth Halls-Bascom Professor, Department of East Asian Languages and Literature, University of Wisconsin, USA Feng Zhilin, Professor of Translation, Guangdong University of Foreign Studies, China

International Editorial Board

International Editorial Board

Craig Gallup, independent scholar, St. Louis, Missouri, USA

Craig Gallup, independent scholar, St. Louis, Missouri, USA

Craig Hulst, Affiliate Professor, Department of Writing, Grand Valley State University

Craig Hulst, Affiliate Professor, Department of Writing, Grand Valley State University

Fraser Sutherland, author and poet, Canada

Fraser Sutherland, author and poet, Canada

Mao Sihui, Professor, Shantou University, China

Mao Sihui, Professor, Shantou University, China

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Timothy Huson, Associate Professor, School of English and

Timothy Huson, Associate Professor, School of English and

Education, Guangdong University of Foreign Studies,

Education, Guangdong University of Foreign Studies,

China

China

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Subscription and Purchase Information (Updated November, 2018)

Subscription and Purchase Information (Updated November, 2018)

The peer-reviewed journal Chinese Literature and Culture (ISSN 2332-4287 print; ISSN 2334-1122 online) is now discoverable in EBSCOhost research databases: the One Belt, One Road Reference Source collection and the Humanities Source Ultimate collection. It is published three times a year.

The peer-reviewed journal Chinese Literature and Culture (ISSN 2332-4287 print; ISSN 2334-1122 online) is now discoverable in EBSCOhost research databases: the One Belt, One Road Reference Source collection and the Humanities Source Ultimate collection. It is published three times a year.

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ISBNs for Library Cataloging, All Existing Volumes:

ISBNs for Library Cataloging, All Existing Volumes:

Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 1 ISBN-13: 978-1502541963

Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 1 ISBN-13: 978-1502541963

Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 2 ISBN-13: 978-1540894212

Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 2 ISBN-13: 978-1540894212

Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 3 ISBN-13: 978-1514815182

Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 3 ISBN-13: 978-1514815182

Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 4 ISBN-13: 978-1522836797

Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 4 ISBN-13: 978-1522836797

Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 5: Xue Yiwei and His War Stories ISBN-13: 978-1530443246

Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 5: Xue Yiwei and His War Stories ISBN-13: 978-1530443246

Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 6 ISBN-13: 978-1533095121

Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 6 ISBN-13: 978-1533095121

Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 7 ISBN-13: 978-1540739384

Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 7 ISBN-13: 978-1540739384

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249

Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 8: Lu Xun Prize Winner Zhang Yawen's Battle for Life ISBN-13: 978-1542412438

Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 8: Lu Xun Prize Winner Zhang Yawen's Battle for Life ISBN-13: 978-1542412438

Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 9: A Bitter Debate in a Dream by Zhang Wei ISBN-13: 978-1546394891

Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 9: A Bitter Debate in a Dream by Zhang Wei ISBN-13: 978-1546394891

Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 10: Xiao Su's short story "Liu Chunshui the Moral Model" ISBN-13: 978-1978001220

Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 10: Xiao Su's short story "Liu Chunshui the Moral Model" ISBN-13: 978-1978001220

Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 11: New Writing from Hong Kong ISBN-13: 978-1983887215

Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 11: New Writing from Hong Kong ISBN-13: 978-1983887215

Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 12: Zen Master Shenhui: The Idea of No Idea ISBN-13: ISBN-13: 978-1724515551

Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 12: Zen Master Shenhui: The Idea of No Idea ISBN-13: ISBN-13: 978-1724515551

Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 13 ISBN-13: 978-1731426246

Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 13 ISBN-13: 978-1731426246

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Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 13

Chinese Literature and Culture Volume 13

Editor-in-Chief: Chu Dongwei, Guangdong University of Foreign Studies

Editor-in-Chief: Chu Dongwei, Guangdong University of Foreign Studies

Volume editor: Timothy Huson, Guangdong University of Foreign Studies

Volume editor: Timothy Huson, Guangdong University of Foreign Studies

Copyright © 2018 Chinese Literature and Culture through Chu Dongwei.

Copyright © 2018 Chinese Literature and Culture through Chu Dongwei.

All rights reserved.

All rights reserved.

Chinese Literature and Culture is a peer-reviewed academic journal jointly published in the United States and globally by IntLingo Inc., New York & Zilin Limited, Guangzhou. NEW LEAVES® is a US imprint and trademark of Guangzhou Zilin Cultural Development Company Limited.

Chinese Literature and Culture is a peer-reviewed academic journal jointly published in the United States and globally by IntLingo Inc., New York & Zilin Limited, Guangzhou. NEW LEAVES® is a US imprint and trademark of Guangzhou Zilin Cultural Development Company Limited.

ISSN: 2332-4287 (print) ISSN: 2334-1122 (online)

ISSN: 2332-4287 (print) ISSN: 2334-1122 (online)