A suggested program of family life education for a secondary school
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A SUGGESTED PROGRAM OF FAMILY L IF E EDUCATION FOR A SECONDARY SCHOOL
A P ro je c t P re s e n te d to t h e F a c u lty o f t h e S c h o o l o f E d u c a tio n The U n i v e r s i t y o f S o u th e rn C a l i f o r n i a
In P a r t i a l F u lfillm e n t o f t h e R e q u ire m e n ts f o r t h e D e g re e M a s te r o f S c ie n c e i n E d u c a tio n
by M a r j o r i e M. Q u an e J a n u a r y 1950
UMI Number: EP46024
All rights reserved INFORMATION TO ALL USERS The quality of this reproduction is dependent upon the quality of the copy submitted. In the unlikely event that the author did not send a complete manuscript and there are missing pages, these will be noted. Also, if material had to be removed, a note will indicate the deletion.
I MI Dissertation Publishing
UMI EP46024 Published by ProQuest LLC (2014). Copyright in the Dissertation held by the Author. Microform Edition © ProQuest LLC. All rights reserved. This work is protected against unauthorized copying under Title 17, United States Code
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This project report, written under the direction of the candidate's adviser and a p p ro v e d by him , has been presented to and accepted by the Faculty of the School of Education in p artia l fulfillm ent of the requirements fo r the degree of M a ste r of Science in Education.
D ate........................................................................
A d v is e r
Dean
ii TABLE OF CONTENTS
UNIT I .
YOU AS AN INDIVIDUAL
HOW TO DEVELOP DESIRABIE PERSONALITY T R A I T S ......................
UNIT I I .
2
YOU AND THE FAMILY
HOW TO ADJUST TO THOSE WITH WHOM YOUL I V E ...........................
UNIT I I I .
PAGE
25
FROM DATING TO THE WEDDING
HOW TO BUILD FOR A SUCCESSFUL M A RRIAGE....................................
UNIT I V .
46
MONEY IN MARRIAGE
HOW TO MANAGE THE FAMILY I N C O M E ...................................................
68
ill L IS T OF ILLUSTRATIONS ILLUSTRATION
PAGE
1*
G ro w in g Up S o c i a l l y ............................... .
...................................
1
2*
B r i n g i n g Up t h e F a m i l y ..............................................................
25
3.
L o o k in g A h e a d t o M a r r i a g e .........................................................
45
4*
M a k in g E n d s M e e t ...................................
67
iv L IS T OF PRE-TESTS TEST
PAGE
1.
P e r s o n a l i t y P r e - T e s t ....................................................................
3
2.
S o c io m e tric
T e s t ..............................................................................
9
3.
O u t l i n e f o r A u t o b i o g r a p h y ..........................................................
26
4.
S u g g e s t e d T e s t s ................................
65
v L IS T OF CONCRETE AIDS FOR UNITS AID
PAGE
1.
You As a n I n d i v i d u a l .....................................................................
23
2*
You And Y o u r F a m i l y ..........................................................................
44
3.
From D a t i n g To t h e W e d d i n g .....................................................
66
4.
M oney I n M a r r i a g e .......................... .
79
..............................................
vi PREFACE TO THE NEW TEACHER OF FAMILY RELATIONS T he b u i ld i n g o f so u n d a t t i t u d e s o f p e r s o n a l i t y , f a m ily a d ju s tm e n ts ,
d a tin g and m a r r ia g e , and a d ju s tm e n ts a f t e r
m a r r i a g e i s t h e m a in p u r p o s e o f t h i s An a t t e m p t w a s m ad e t o
c o u r s e o f s tu d y *
c o n ju r e up a l l th e
p o s s ib le
p r o b l e m s w h ic h c o u l d c o n f r o n t y o u a s a n e o p h y t e i n t h i s fie ld .
I t w as a tte m p te d , b y a b i t o f r o l e p la y in g , t o
change p la c e s w ith you— to
i m a g i n e som e o f y o u r b e w i l d e r m e n t ,
y o u r q u e s tio n s , and your f r u s t r a t i o n s . It
i s b e lie v e d t h a t a s t e a c h e r s , we s h o u ld r e c o g n iz e
t h e i n d i v i d u a l 's r i g h t t o p o s itio n in
s o c ie ty ,
fo r h is ro le
ra is e
and to
q u e s tio n s , to b e tt e r h is
a c q u ire
s k i l l s t h a t w i l l f i t h im
a s a m em b er o f a f a m i l y .
You w i l l n o t i c e t h a t t h e r e fo rm o f t h e a r e a u n i t s .
is
som e v a r i a t i o n i n t h e
T h is i s p u r p o s e f u l— t o
show d i f f e r
e n t w ays o f a p p ro a c h in g and h a n d lin g s u b je c t m a t t e r .
M o re
h a s b e e n i n c l u d e d t h a n y o u m ay w i s h t o t e a c h b u t t h i s m ay g iv e you th e o p p o r tu n ity to th e n e e d s, a b i l i t i e s , s tu d e n ts . dense i t ,
The s t y l e
b e st s u ite d to
and th e o b je c tiv e s o f y o u r p a r t i c u l a r
The m a t e r i a l i s e n ric h i t ,
s e le c t w hat i s
f l e x i b l e ; d o n 't h e s i t a t e t o
o r re a rra n g e
its
con
o rd er.
o r p a r t i c u l a r f o r m h a s b e e n m ade p o p u l a r b y
t h e S t a t e D e p a r tm e n t o f E d u c a t i o n i n t h e i r H e a l t h E d u c a t i o n M a n u a l. G ra titu d e i s
e x p r e s s e d t o t h e U .C .L .A . W o rk sh o p i n
vii F a m i l y R e l a t i o n s w h ic h m e t d u r i n g t h e in fo rm a tio n u sed in t h i s
sum m er o f 1 9 4 9 , f o r
c o u rse o f s tu d y .
a tiv io o s
i
an
s h ia o h o
2
UNIT I . YOU AS AN INDIVIDUAL HOW TO DEVELOP DESIRABLE PERSONALITY TRAITS It
i s th e p u rp o se o f t h i s
u n it t h a t th e te a c h e r a c c e p t
e a c h s tu d e n t on an i n d i v i d u a l b a s i s w h e th e r h e be r e b e l l i o u s , w i t h d r a w n , o r a d j u s t e d , a n d h e l p h im t o b e c o m e t h e f i n e s t p e r s o n h e i s c a p a b l e o f b e c o m in g .
T h is can be done
b y e q u i p p i n g h im w i t h k n o w l e d g e , t e a c h i n g h im s k i l l s t h a t w i l l h e l p h im d e v e l o p a t t i t u d e s a n d a p p r e c i a t i o n s w h ic h w i l l g i v e h im t h e p o w e r h e n e e d s t o m e e t h i s p r o b l e m s w i t h c o u r a g e a n d c o m p e te n c e .
3 STEP 1 PRE-TEST TRUE-FALSE:
P la c e an X in th e fa ls e .
c o rre c t space f o r tr u e o r
1.
T F ( ) ( ) A c h i l d i n h e r i t s h i s c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s e q u a l l y fro m f a t h e r an d m o th e r.
2.
(
3.
( )(
) Y o u r e n v i r o n m e n t , m o re t h a n y o u r h e r e d i t y , m in e s w h a t y o u a r e .
4.
( )(
) The s e x o f an u n b o rn c h i l d i s i n f lu e n c e d b y w h a t th e p a re n ts w ant th e se x to b e .
5.
( )(
) I d e n t i c a l tw in s h av e e x a c tl y th e
6.
( )(
)I t
7.
( )(
) Human n a t u r e c a n b e c h a n g e d .
8.
( )(
) V e ry s h o r t p a r e n t s a r e a p t t o t a l l e r th a n th e y .
9.
( )(
) You c a n t e l l how i n t e l l i g e n t a p e r s o n i s b y t h e s iz e o f h is h ead .
)(
) E v ery o n e ’s p e r s o n a lity i s
d e te rm in e d a t b i r t h .
i s hum an n a t u r e f o r m an t o
d e te r
sam e h e r e d i t y .
go t o w a r.
have c h ild re n
10.
( ) ( ) We h a v e a s p e c i a l n e r v o u s s y s te m w h i c h w i l l g i v e u s e x t r a e n e r g y in c a s e o f an e m e rg en c y .
11.
( )(
) O ur g ro w th i s
12.
( )(
) D ia b e te s r e s u l t s fro m a p o o r l y f u n c t i o n i n g g la n d .
13.
( )(
) I d i o c y c a n r e s u l t fro m a p o o r l y f u n c t i o n i n g g la n d .
14.
( )(
) W hen a p e r s o n i s v e r y a n g r y , h i s d ig e s tin g fo o d .
15.
( )(
) We c a n j u d g e w h a t e m o t i o n a p e r s o n i s t h e e x p r e s s io n on h i s f a c e .
16.
( )(
) C i v i l i z e d p e o p l e h a v e t h e sam e e m o t i o n a l r e a c tio n s a s d id p r im itiv e p e o p le .
d e te rm in e d b y a g la n d i n t h e b r a i n .
s to m a c h s t o p s fe e lin g by
4 17.
T h ere i s a c t u a l t r u t h h a i r s to o d on e n d ."
18.
A b a b y i s b o m w i t h m an y d i f f e r e n t e m o t i o n s — lo v e , f e a r , h a te , r a g e , and o th e r s .
19.
A d u l t s h a v e m an y m o re e m o t i o n s t h a n b a b i e s h a v e .
20.
I f we a c t a n d l o o k c h e e r f u l , we a r e a p t t o c h e e rfu l.
21 .
A b ab y l e a r n s t o lo v e h i s m o th e r b e c a u s e o f t h e w ay h i s m o t h e r t r e a t s h i m , r a t h e r t h a n b e c a u s e h e i s b o m w ith a lo v e f o r h i s m o th e r.
22 .
A s t r o n g f e e l i n g a b o u t s o m e th i n g i n d i c a t e s t h a t i t is rig h t.
23.
W e’ d b e h a p p i e r i f we h a d n o e m o t i o n s .
24.
You c a n b e co m e t o o a n g r y t o
25.
Y our a t t i t u d e s to w a rd m a r r ia g e a r e h i g h l y i m p o r t a n t i n d e t e r m i n i n g how s u c c e s s f u l y o u r m a rria g e w i l l b e .
26.
P ro p a g an d a n e v e r a f f e c t s y o u .
27.
You a r e s o m e tim e s t i r e d o u t a t n i g h t b e c a u s e y o u h av e been to o e m o tio n a l a l l d ay .
28.
S u lk in g i s a c t in g l i k e
29.
Some p e o p l e a r e b o m m o re e m o t i o n a l t h a n o t h e r s .
30.
It
31.
A d o l e s c e n t s h a v e m o re e m o t i o n a l u p s a n d d ow n s t h a n do a d u l t s .
32.
J u s t a s m a ll n u m b er o f f u n d a m e n ta l u r g e s i n p e o p le a re r e s p o n s i b l e f o r a l l t h e i r a c t i o n s .
33.
O n ly e g o t i s t i c a l p e o p l e h a v e t h e u r g e t o lik e d .
34.
It
i s n a t u r a l f o r p e o p le t o
seek v a r ie ty .
35.
It
i s n a t u r a l f o r p e o p le t o
shun a c t i v i t y .
is
in th e
s ta te m e n t:
th in k
" H is
fe e l
s tra ig h t.
a baby.
a g o o d i d e a t o w o rk o f f y o u r e m o t i o n s .
be w e ll
5 36.
T h e u r g e f o r s e l f - p r e s e r v a t i o n sh o w s i t s e l f c h i e f l y w h en o u r l i v e s a r e e n d a n g e r e d .
37.
I t i s s t i l l a m y s te r y t o p s y c h o l o g i s t s w hy p e o p le b e h av e a s th e y d o .
38.
We c a n m ake p e o p l e l i k e u rg e f o r p r e s t i g e .
39.
T h e s m a l l i n f a n t sh o w s a n u r g e f o r f r e e d o m .
40.
T h e d e s i r e f o r s e c u r i t y i n f l u e n c e s m uch t h a t we do •
41.
A ll p e o p le h a v e e m o tio n a l u p s a n d dow ns.
42.
G e t ti n g a lo n g w ith p e o p le i s j u s t a m a t t e r o f k n o w in g t h e r i g h t t r i c k s a n d t e c h n i q u e s f o r m a k in g f r i e n d s .
43.
A rg u m e n t s h o u l d a lw a y s b e a v o i d e d .
44.
B e in g o n t i m e f o r a p p o i n t m e n t s i s a c o u r t e s y o n e s h o u l d a l w a y s show t h e o t h e r p e r s o n .
45.
C o n s ta n t f a u l t f in d in g r e v e a l s i n s e c u r i t y i n th e f a u lt fin d e r.
46.
One g e t s a l o n g b e t t e r w i t h o t h e r s i f h e a v o i d s v u lg a rity .
47.
U s in g s a r c a s m m a k e s o n e a m o re i n t e r e s t i n g c o m p a n io n •
48.
I s m i n d i n g o n e ' s own b u s i n e s s m a k e s o n e a b e t t e r frie n d ?
49.
The h a p p ie s t l i f e fru s tra tio n .
50.
T h ere i s n e v e r an y j u s t i f i c a t i o n
51.
W o rr y i s
52.
W o rry c a n b e c o n t r o l l e d .
53.
F ear i s le a rn e d .
54.
One c a n n e v e r b e t o o c o n c e r n e d a b o u t h i s h e a l t h .
us by s a tis f y in g t h e i r
i s th e l i f e w ith o u t an y f o r w o rry .
in ju rio u s to h e a lth .
6 55.
E v ery o n e h a e t h e " b lu e s * a t tim e s , a n d t h e r e i s n o t h in g one c a n do a b o u t i t .
56.
N e rv o u sn e ss i s
57.
P a r e n t s c an be to o p r o t e c t i v e to w a rd t h e i r c h ild re n .
58.
O u r t h i n k i n g i s m u ch g o v e r n e d b y o u r e m o t i o n s .
59.
E v e ry o n e h a s an i n f e r i o r i t y d e g re e .
60.
T h e r e a r e o t h e r c o m p le x e s b e s i d e s t h e i n f e r i o r i t y c o m p le x a n d t h e s u p e r i o r i t y c o m p le x .
61.
A to u c h y p e r s o n h a s c o m p le x e s .
62.
An i n f e r i o r i t y
63.
A p e rs o n can g e t o v e r an i n f e r i o r i t y
64.
O v e rw o rk i s
65.
A n e u ro tic p e rso n i s
66.
" P s y c h o n e u ro tic " i s a te rm a p p lie d o n ly t o p e o p l e who s u f f e r f r o m w a r n e r v e s .
67.
" P s y c h o s is " i s
68.
I n s a n ity can be c u re d .
69.
A ll p s y c h i a t r i s t s a r e d o c to r s b u t a l l d o c to r s a re n o t p s y c h ia tr is ts .
70.
O ne’ s ag e h a s an e f f e c t on h i s p e r s o n a l i t y .
71.
P e r s o n a l i t y i s m o re i m p o r t a n t t h a n a p p e a r a n c e .
72.
T h e re i s a s t e a d y g ro w th i n o r g a n s fro m b ab y h o o d u p .
73.
" P u b e r t y " i s t h e nam e f o r t h e p e r i o d w h e n s p e rm c e l l s an d o v a b e g in t o m a tu re an d r i p e n .
74.
I t i s n o rm a l f o r t h e a v e ra g e g i r l t o be b ig g e r th a n th e a v e ra g e b o y a t one p e r io d o f d e v e lo p m e n t.
a w eak n ess o f th e n e rv e s .
c o m p le x i s
c o m p le x t o
som e
caused by i n f e r i o r i t y . c o m p le x .
a common c a u s e o f n e r v o u s b r e a k d o w n . a m a la d ju s te d p e rs o n .
a n o t h e r nam e f o r i n s a n i t y .
s e x u a l g la n d s and
75.
Do y o u b e l i e v e t h a t " I f y o u s i n g b e f o r e you*11 c r y b e f o r e e le v e n " ?
76.
Do y o u b e l i e v e t h a t b r in g s b a d lu c k " ?
" W a lk in g u n d e r a l a d d e r
77.
Do y o u b e l i e v e t h a t day"?
" F rid a y 1 5 th i s
78.
Do y o u b e l i e v e t h a t good lu c k " ?
"A f o u r l e a f c l o v e r b r i n g s
79.
Do y o u b e l i e v e t h a t "A h i g h f o r e h e a d i n d i c a t e s h ig h in te l li g e n c e " ?
80.
Do y o u b e l i e v e t h a t " G e n i u s e s t e n d t o b eco m e in s a n e " ?
81.
I f a m o th e r i s b a d ly f r i g h t e n e d b e f o r e h e r c h i l d i s b o m , th e c h ild w i l l p ro b a b ly b e b o m w ith a b irth m a rk a s a r e s u l t o f th e e x p e r ie n c e .
82.
T h e r e i s n o d i r e c t c o n n e c t i o n b e tw e e n t h e b l o o d s tr e a m o f t h e m o th e r and o f t h e c h i l d .
83.
Same t y p e s o f f e e b l e m in d e d n e s s a r e h e r e d i t a r y .
84.
A p p e tite f o r a lc o h o lic d r in k i s h e r e d i ta r y .
85.
C h a r a c t e r i s t i c s w h ic h t h e p a r e n t h a s a c q u i r e d d u r i n g h i s l i f e a r e s o m e tim e s t r a n s m i t t e d t o t h e c h ild th ro u g h t h e g e n e s .
86 .
Human l i f e
87.
The s e x o f t h e i n d i v i d u a l i s sp e rm .
88.
C h a r a c t e r i s t i c s a r e c a r r i e d o v e r fro m t h e p a r e n t to th e c h ild th ro u g h th e g e n e s .
89.
A hum an s p e r m i s
90.
itn i n d i v i d u a l r e c e i v e s r e p l i c a s o f o n l y h a l f o f h i s f a t h e r * s c h ro m o s o m e s a n d h a l f o f h i s m o t h e r * s c h ro m o s o m e s .
seven,
an u n lu c k y
b e g i n s w h en a s p e rm a n d e g g u n i t e . d e te rm in e d b y t h e
a b o u t 1 /1 6 o f an in c h lo n g .
8 K ey t o T e s t T ru e — 1 ,
5, 6,
7, 8, 11, 12, 13,
14, 16,
17, 19, 20,
21, 24, 44, 45,
25,
27, 28,
30, 31, 32, 34,
36, 38, 39, 40, 41,
46,
48, 50,
51, 52, 53, 57,
58, 59, 60, 61, 63, 65, 67,
68,
69, 70,
71,
83,
73, 74, 82,
86, 87, 88, 90.
F a ls e — 2 , 3 , 4 , 9 , 10, 1 5 , 1 8 , 2 2 , 2 3 , 2 6 , 2 9 , 3 3 , 3 5 , 3 7 , 42,
43, 47,
49, 54, 55, 56,
78,
79, 80,
81, 84, 85, 89.
62, 64, 66, 72, 75,
76, 77,
9 STEP 2 SOCIOMETRIC TEST I w i s h ________________________ My f a t h e r ____________________ W ork i s _______________________ W hen I ’m a l o n e ______________ To b e s u c c e s s f u l I w o u ld ^ I am w o r r i e d ________________ S tu d y in g i s I h a te P e o p l e l i k e me b e c a u s e ____ I f e e l m a r v e l o u s w hen My l i f e _______________________ I
d o n ’t
know w h y I _________
T h e f u t u r e ___________________ E a r n i n g a l i v i n g ___________ My h e a l t h ____________________ My g r e a t e s t d e s i r e _________ My m o t h e r ____________________ I t a k e p r i d e i n _____________ P e o p l e d i s l i k e me b e c a u s e H o m e ________________________ _
10 BOW TO DEVELOP DESIRABLE PERSONALITY TRAITS ANTICIPATED OUTCOMES E a c h s t u d e n t w i l l m ove t o w a r d e m o t i o n a l m a t u r i t y w h e n h e u n d e rs ta n d s and b e lie v e s o th e rs ,
and to
(1 ) t h a t i t
is
im p o rta n t t o
lik e
b e w o rth y o f b e in g w e ll l i k e d b y o t h e r s ,
( 2 ) t h a t e v e r y o n e h a s p e r s o n a l p r o b l e m s w h i c h a r e common t o h i s own a g e g r o u p
(fro m c h ild h o o d th r o u g h a d u lt l i f e )
w h ic h
m u s t b e s o l v e d s a t i s f a c t o r i l y f o r h im b e f o r e g r o w th t o w a r d m a t u r i t y c a n c o n t i n u e , a n d (3 ) t h a t t h e r e a r e d e f i n i t e t o o l s and t e c h n i q u e s w i t h w h ic h t o r e a c h s a t i s f a c t o r y s o l u t i o n s t o a l l hum an, a s w e l l a s s c i e n t i f i c , p ro b le m s . th e n u s e s h i s a c q u ire d s k i l l in in g s and b e l i e f s in to
T he s t u d e n t
c o n v e rtin g th e s e u n d e rs ta n d
s o c i a l l y a c c e p te d b e h a v io r*
STEP 3 INITIATORY PROCEDURES 1.
2*
S u b je c t m a tte r p r e - t e s t
(p a g e 3 )*
a*
To e s t a b l i s h p r o b a b l e
f ra m e w o rk o f u n i t *
b.
To d e t e r m i n e b a c k g r o u n d o f s t u d e n t *
c«
To a r o u s e i n t e r e s t a n d s t a r t g r o u p d i s c u s s i o n a n d p l a n n i n g f o r d e v e lo p m e n t o f u n i t .
S o c io m e tric t e s t
( p a g e 9 )*
a.
To e s t a b l i s h
s e a t i n g a rra n g e m e n ts .
b.
To p r o v i d e p i c t u r e o f s o c i a l c o m p o s i t i o n o f c l a s s an d i d e n t i f y l e a d e r s and i s o l a t e s f o r c o u n s e lin g .
e.
To f o r m u l a t e g r o u p w o r k c o m m i t t e e s .
C a l i f o r n i a T e s t o f P e r s o n a l i t y , S e c o n d a r y , F o rm A. a.
To f a c i l i t a t e
p e rs o n a l c o u n s e lin g p u rp o s e s .
b.
To a r r a n g e g r o u p c o u n s e l i n g a p p o i n t m e n t s .
12 STEP 4 CONTENT A.
DEVELOPMENTAL A C TIV ITIES
W hat c o n s t i t u t e s o n e 's p e r s o n a l i t y ? 1.
C o n s is ts o f d e f i n i te q u a litie s , s k ills , a ttitu d e s , id e a ls , m e n ta l and e m o tio n a l h a b it s and a p p e a ra n c e .
2.
C la s s ific a tio n o f q u a li tie s : p h y s ic a l, m e n ta l, and s p i r i t u a l .
1.
W rite a b r i e f a n a ly s is o f a frie n d o f y o u rs. W hat a r e t h e q u a l i t i e s t h a t y o u a d m ire i n h im ? L is t q u a li t ie s o f th e p o p u la r s tu d e n t. P a n e l d is c u s s io n on w h ic h o f t h e l i s t e d f a c to r s c o n trib u te s m ost to y o u r p e r s o n a lity .
B.
W hat d e t e r m i n e s y o u r p e r s o n a l i t y ? 1.
K in d o f b o d y y o u s t a r t e d w ith ( p h y s ic a l) .
2.
T y p e o f hom e y o u w e r e bom in to .
3.
S o r t o f p e o p le you h a v e a s s o c ia te d w ith .
4.
Way y o u h a v e b e e n b r o u g h t up.
5.
T h in g s y o u h a v e l e a r n e d (in te lle c tu a l)•
6.
How y o u f e l t a n d a c t e d ab o u t th e above th in g s (e m o tio n a l).
13 C.
W hat a r e some o f t h e a s p e c t s o f a d e v e lo p in g p e r s o n a l i t y ? I n w h a t w a y s do y o u m a t u r e ? 1.
C h ro n o lo g ic a lly .
2.
M e n ta lly .
3.
P h y s ic a lly . a.
P o s tu re .
b.
G ro o m in g .
c.
V o ic e .
d.
B ie rg y an d d r i v e . 4.
B n o tio n a lly . a.
S e c u rity .
b.
Ego s a t i s f a c t i o n .
c.
Be s p o n s e : s ta n d in g .
d.
New e x p e r i e n c e , change.
e
D.
.
D is c u s s th e r i g h t s and a b i l i t i e s t h a t go w ith each a sp e c t o f p e r s o n a lity .
u n d e r
M ake a l i t t l e c h a r t o f t h e s t a g e s th ro u g h w h ic h a p e r s o n p a s s e s fro m i n f a n c y t o o l d age. Add t o e a c h t h e p e rso n o r p e rs o n s w hose a f f e c t i o n s w o u ld b e v a l u a b l e t o you a t e a c h s ta g e .
A ffe c tio n .
W h at i n f l u e n c e s o r f o r c e s d e te rm in e t h e a c q u i r in g o f p e rs o n a lity c h a r a c te r is tic s ? 1.
F a m il y :
2.
C o m m u n ity .
3.
E c o n o m ic , s o c i a l , c u ltu ra l re so u rc e s.
4
S ta tu s .
D is c u s s th e s ta n d a r d s w h ic h a r e s e t f o r y o u f a m i l y a n d c o m m u n ity .
by
h e re d ity .
4.
I n w h a t w ay c a n y o u r s o c ia l s ta tu s be a h a n d ic a p ?
14 E.
F.
W hat a r e som e o f t h e p r o b le m s common t o t e e n a g e r s w h ic h n e e d t o r e c o g n i z e d and so lv e d ? 1.
S h y n ess.
2.
J e a lo u s y .
3.
T e m p e r.
4.
F e a r.
5.
D a y d r e a m in g .
6.
B ra g g in g .
7.
M o o d in e s s .
8.
Irrita b ility .
9.
S e n s itiv ity .
10.
N e rv o u s h a b i t s .
11.
N a il b i t i n g .
12.
Speech d e f e c ts .
13.
F e e lin g s o f i n f e r i o r i t y .
14.
F e e lin g s o f d i f f e r e n t ness.
15.
S e n se o f sham e.
16.
S en se o f f a i l u r e .
17.
W o rry a n d a n x i e t y .
How s h a l l y o u go a b o u t s o lv in g y o u r p ro b le m s ? 1.
P ro b le m s o l v i n g te c h n iq u e •
2.
S e lf a n a ly s is and e v a lu a tio n .
G ro u p d i s c u s s i o n o f p e r s o n a l p ro b le m s . T e s t: "W hat K in d o f P e r s o n a l i t y Do I H a v e ? " G ro u p d i s c u s s i o n o n " P r o b l e m s t o T e s t My S e l f in s i g h t and S e lf-U n d e r s ta n d in g ." P sy ch o -d ra m a t o s u g g e s t m e a n s o f p e r s o n a l im p r o v e m ent • E a c h s t u d e n t m ak e a " P e r s o n a l i t y Im p ro v e m e n t C h a rt."
In d iv id u a l re p o r ts r e : o b se rv e d c o n f l i c t s and p ro b le m s o f c h i l d r e n , an d w a y s i n w h ic h t h e y s o lv e d th e m .
15 G.
How c o u l d y o u d e v e l o p s a t i s f a c t o r y 1.
U n d e rs ta n d b a s i c t h i n g s i n w h ic h p e o p l e a r e m uch a lik e : a l l d e s ire hap p in e s s an d a p p ro v a l; w ant to g e t ahead.
2.
" S i z e u p " t h e i n d i v i d u a l ’s p e r s o n a lity and c h a ra c te r: h i s fa m ily , r a c e , r e l i g i o n , p o s itio n , e tc .
3.
O b serv e o t h e r s f o r i n s i g h t in to t h e i r m o tiv a tio n s and re la tio n s h ip s .
4.
U n d e rs ta n d t h e v a r i o u s s ta g e s o f s p e c ia liz a tio n .
5.
6.
a.
R e c e iv in g .
b.
M a n ip u la tio n .
c.
C o m p ro m is e .
d.
S h a rin g .
e.
C re a tiv e c o o p e ra tio n o r d e m o c ra c y .
M ake c o n t i n u a l a d j u s t m e n ts . a.
W a n ts n o t i m m e d i a t e l y s a t i s f i e d , o f te n m u st be a lt e r e d o r i n h i b i t e d c o m p le te ly .
b.
N e c e ssa ry to s a t i s f y in d iv id u a l n e e d s and t o c o n fo r m t o s o c i e t y ’ s r e g u la tio n o f b e h a v io r.
S ta g e s o f d e v e lo p m e n t i n a d ju s tm e n ts . a.
D u r in g i n f a n c y d e v e l o p p rim a ry n e e d s ( o r ig in o f frie n d lin e s s o r h o s tility p a tte rn s ).
2.
s o c ia l re la tio n s h ip s ?
D is c u s s t h e s e v a r io u s to p ic s . How c a n y o u m ak e u s e o f t h i s i n fo rm a tio n ? M ake a l i s t o f r u l e s o r s u g g e s tio n s f o r g e t t i n g a lo n g w i t h p e o p le •
e.
Show t h e a d v a n ta g e s o f c o o p e r a tio n .
16 b.
A w are n ess o f s e l f and a n a to m y .
c.
A d ju s t t o g an g s o f own a g e ( h e l p e s t a b l i s h i n d e p e n d e n c e fro m p a re n ts ) •
d.
D e v e lo p m e n t o f i n t e r e s t in o th e r sex , c u lm in a tin g i n lo v e in te re s t.
e.
A d ju s tm e n ts w i t h i n th e fa m ily n e c e s s a ry f o r happy fa m ily life .
e.
Of w hat q u a l i t i e s o f y o u r f a t h e r m ay you be p ro u d : Why d o es he have any q u a l i t i e s w h ic h an noy you? Why a r e y o u p r o u d o f y o u r m o th e r?
f.
D e v e lo p c o n v e r s a t i o n a l a b ilitie s .
f.
D is c u s s e le m e n ts o f good c o n v e r s a t i o n s . M ake a l i s t o f ru le s o r s u g g e s tio n s .
g.
W hat i s t h e i m p o r t ance o f c o rre c t s o c i a l b e h a v io r?
C h o ic e o f t o p i c . A p p ro a ch . T e rm in a tio n . g.
H.
C u ltiv a te m an n e rs.
W hat r e c r e a t i o n a l a t t i t u d e s a n d a b i l i t i e s d e v e lo p ? 1.
L e is u re i s an a t t i t u d e r a t h e r t h a n m ere u s e o f v acan t h o u rs.
2.
I n c r e a s e d a m o u n ts o f a v a ila b le tim e .
3.
B a s is f o r s a t i s f a c t o r y s o c ia l re la tio n s h ip s .
1.
s h o u ld you
M ake a c l a s s s u r v e y and th e n a c la s s c h a rt o f t h e m o s t common u s e o f l e i s u r e tim e . L i s t th e a d v a n ta g e s and d is a d v a n ta g e s o f th e m ost p r e v a le n t ones •
17 a.
W ith in t h e f a m ily .
b.
C u ltiv a tio n o f f r ie n d s h ip s .
4.
D e v e lo p m e n t o f som e a c t i v i t y w h ic h w i l l c o n t i n u e a s a so u rc e o f p le a s u r e , r e l i e f , and i n t e r e s t d u rin g a f t e r y e a r s .
5.
A d v a n ta g e o u s u s e o f le is u re . a.
E n ric h p e r s o n a l i t y .
b.
D e v e lo p a e s t h e t i c a p p re c ia tio n o f n a tu re .
c.
I.
5.
D is c u s s th e a c t i v i t i e s an d i n t e r e s t s w h ic h m ig h t b e c a r r i e d on th ro u g h y o u r l i f e w ith p ro fit. P la n a p a r t y f o r th e f a m i l y . W hat v a l u e s w o u ld s u c h a p a r t y have 7
D e v e lo p c u l t u r a l v a lu e s .
How m ay w e d e v e l o p a s o u n d m o r a l b a c k g r o u n d ? 1.
2.
B u ild c h a r a c t e r t r a i t s . a.
P e rso n a l s a t i s fa c tio n .
b.
P e rso n a l in te g r ity .
c.
S o c ia l r e l a ti o n s h i p s .
d.
R e lig io u s c o n n o ta tio n s .
E s t a b l i s h a p h ilo s o p h y of life . a. b.
A c ts a s c o m p a ss. P ro m o te s d e s i r a b l e t r a i t s b e n e fic ia l to s o c ie ty and to in d i v id u a l.
1.
L i s t i n o r d e r o f im p o rta n c e th e te n c h a r a c te r t r a i t s you r e g a r d a s m o st im p o rt a n t.
2.
W rite a " p h ilo s o p h y o f lif e ."
18 STEP 5 EVALUATION OF UNIT I *XOU AS AN INDIVIDUAL TRUE-FALSE:
1.
P la c e an X i n th e fa ls e .
c o rre c t space fo r tr u e
or
T F ( )( ) N ot a l l p e o p le d e s i r e a p p r o v a l.
S.
( )(
) I f an u n s a t i s f a c t o r y s i t u a t i o n e a n 't h e c h a n g e d , o n e s h o u l d c h a n g e o n e 's a t t i t u d e .
3.
( H
) T h e t y p e o f hom e y o u w e r e b o m e f f e c t on y o u r p e r s o n a lity .
4.
( )(
) M a tu rity i s
5.
( )(
) O n e 's d e s i r e
6.
( )(
) The b e s t w ay t o
s o lv e a p ro b le m i s t o
7.
( )(
) D ay d r e a m in g i s
a ty p e o f r u n n in g aw ay.
8.
( )(
) The b e s t w ay t o p ro m is e .
g e t a lo n g w ith p e o p le i s t o
9.
( )(
) The b a s i c n e e d s o f a c h i l d i n c lu d e s lo v e , re c o g n i ti o n , and f e e lin g o f s a fe ty .
10.
( )(
) "E go s a t i s f a c t i o n " m e a n s e m b a r k in g u p o n a new e x p e rie n c e .
11.
(
) One b e c o m e s e m o t i o n a l l y m a t u r e a t 2 1 .
12.
( )(
) O n e 's s o c i a l s t a t u s c a n b e a c h a l l e n g e .
13.
( )(
) I t i s s i l l y to t r y to change o u r a t t i t u d e s ab o u t a p ro b le m b e c a u s e we c a n 't .
14.
()(
) O ur h e r e d i t y h e lp s d e te rm in e o u r p e r s o n a l i t y .
15.
()(
) An i n t r o v e r t w o u ld p r o b a b l y b e v e r y h a p p y a s a n in s u r a n c e s a le s m a n .
16.
( )(
) C h a r a c t e r h a s b e e n d e f i n e d a s " a l l we d o a n d a re ."
)(
in h as l i t t l e
a m a t t e r o f g r o w in g o l d e r . f o r a ffe c tio n
l a s t s th ro u g h o u t l i f e . ig n o re i t .
com
19 17.
( ) ( ) C h a ra c te r and p e r s o n a lity a re
sy n o n y m o u s t e r m s .
18.
( )(
19.
( ) ( ) T h e re i s no p o in t in t r y i n g to ev ery b o d y .
20 .
( ) ( ) A f t e r m i d d l e a g e w e k e e p m o s t o f t h e b a s i c hu m an need s.
21.
( ) ( ) The k in d o f a p e rs o n we a r e l a r g e l y d e te r m in e s o u r frie n d s h ip s .
22 .
( )(
23.
( ) ( ) H en a r e h a v i n g m o re l e i s u r e t h r u s t u p o n th e m b e c a u s e o f e c o n o m ic c a u s e s .
24.
( ) ( ) C o n tin u a l a d ju s tm e n t i s n e c e s s a r y th ro u g h o u t life .
25.
( ) ( ) O ne c a n do l i t t l e r e la tio n s h ip s •
26.
( ) ( ) An e x t r o v e r t i s c o n t i n u a l l y w o r r i e d a b o u t t h e im p re s s io n h e m akes upon o t h e r s .
27.
L i s t t h r e e w a y s i n w h ic h we m ay m a t u r e .
) D e m o c ra tic p r a c t i c e s a r e im p o s s i b l e i n f a m i l i e s . g e t a lo n g w ith
) S in c e l i f e i s m o s tly c h a n c e , n o p h ilo s o p h y o f l i f e i s b e n e fic ia l.
to
d e v e l o p o r im p ro v e s o c i a l
1 . ____________________________________________________________________ 2 .___________________________________________________
3 . ____________________________________________________________________ 28.
L i s t t h r e e p o s s i b l e w ay s o f m e e tin g a p ro b le m . 1 . ___________________ 8 . _________________________________________________________________________________
3 . ____________________________________________________________________ 29.
Name t h r e e b a s i c hum an n e e d s .
1._________________________________________________________________________________ 2.
20 3 . _____________________________________________________________ __ 30.
Name t h r e e f o r c e s w h i c h d e t e r m i n e o u r a c q u i s i t i o n o f p e rs o n a lity c h a ra c te ri s tic s .
1.
__
2 .________________________________________________
3 . ________________________________________________________________ 31.
Name t h r e e t e c h n i q u e s f o r g e t t i n g a l o n g w i t h p e o p l e .
1 .___________________________________________ 2 .___________________________________________ 3 . ________________________________________________________________ 32.
Name t h r e e
s ta g e s o f s o c i a l a d ju s tm e n t.
1 .___________________________________________ 2 .___________________________________________
3 . ________________________________________________________________ 33.
Name t h r e e a p p ro a c h .
c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s o f a good c o n v e rs a tio n a l
1 .___________________________________________ 2 « ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 3 . ________________________________________________________________ 34.
G iv e t h r e e v a l u e s o f g o o d r e c r e a t i o n a l a c t i v i t i e s .
1 .___________________________________________ 2 . ________________________________________________________________ 3 . ________________________________________________________________ 35.
G iv e t h r e e t y p e s o f s e c u r i t y . 1.
2.
____
21 3-____________________________________________________________________________
C h o o se t h e w o r d s w h i c h m o s t p r o p e r l y f i n i s h t h e 36.
37.
38.
39.
40.
41.
A fa m ily i s
s e n te n c e .
o n ly a s happy and s u c c e s s f u l a s
a.
th e f a t h e r 's
in c o m e c a n p r o v i d e f o r .
b.
th e in d iv id u a ls in
c.
th e
it.
s t a t u s o f t h e n e ig h b o rh o o d .
P re p a ra tio n f o r a s u c c e s s fu l l i f e
is
a.
c o m p le te d w hen we h a v e r e a c h e d m a t u r i t y .
b.
d e p e n d e n t u p o n o u r IQ .
c.
a c o n tin u o u s p r o c e s s .
T h e m o s t i m p o r t a n t f a c t o r s i n a s u c c e s s f u l home a r e a.
t h e i n t a n g i b l e hum an q u a l i t i e s .
b.
c o n v e n i e n t ro o m a r r a n g e m e n t s .
c.
s t e a d y a n d a d e q u a t e in c o m e .
T h re e c l a s s i f i c a t i o n s o f p e r s o n a l i t y q u a l i t i e s a re p h y s ic a l, s p i r i t u a l and a.
p h y s io lo g ic a l.
b.
a n a to m ic a l.
c.
m e n ta l •
A v o i d i n g o n e 's r e s p o n s i b i l i t y i s a.
d is c re tio n .
b.
escape.
c.
w is d o m .
I f an u n s a t is f a c to r y s i t u a t i o n s h o u ld
c a lle d
c a n ' t b e c h a n g e d we
zz
42.
43.
44.
45.
a.
change o u r a t t i t u d e s .
b.
f o r g e t t h e w h o le b u s i n e s s .
c.
a rg u e a b o u t i t .
By o b s e r v i n g o t h e r s s y m p a t h e t i c a l l y we g a i n a.
p a tie n c e •
b•
in s ig h t.
c.
c o o p e ra tio n •
O ur p a tt e r n s o f f r i e n d l i n e s s and h o s t i l i t y a.
e a r l y a d o le s c e n c e .
b.
s c h o o l•
c.
in fa n c y .
W hat w e " a p p e a r t o a.
p e rs o n a lity .
b.
c h a ra c te r.
c.
re p u ta tio n .
do a n d b e " i s o u r
A " p h ilo s o p h y o f l i f e "
o fte n
se rv e s us a s
a.
an e x c u se f o r o u r c o n d u c t.
b.
a c h a n c e t o g e t o u r own w a y .
c.
a g u id e f o r o u r c o n d u c t.
d e v e lo p i n
L IS T 0 7 CONCRETE AIDS F ilm ,
" S h y G uy" (LKD & SHD 16 mn s d 1 2 m in ) .
I n t e r e s t e d f a t h e r l e n d s a h e l p i n g h a n d t o h i s own t e e n ag e s o n , m a s te r s s h y n e s s , an d w in s f r i e n d s . F i l m , " A re You P o p u l a r ? "
( C o r o n e t 1 1 m in s d C, 16 m n ) .
C r y s t a l l i z e s te e n - a g e p ro b le m s o f s o c i a l b e h a v io r i n t o com pact g u id e t o b o y - g i r l p r o p r i e t i e s an d p o p u l a r i t y . F i l m , " T h i s i s R o b e r t " ( V a s s a r C o l l e g e , M a ry F i s h e r , 70 m in s d a g e 2 - 7 y e a r s ) . P e r s o n a l i t y d e v e lo p m e n t a n d a d ju s tm e n t .
24
BRINGING UP THE FAMILY
25
UNIT I I . *3K)U AND THE FAMILY HOW TO ADJUST TO THOSE WITH WHOM YOU LITE W© w o u ld h e l p t h e
s tu d e n t in t h i s u n i t — by r a is in g
t h o u g h t - p r o v o k i n g q u e s t i o n s r a t h e r t h a n " p r e a c h i n g a t " h im — to
see t h a t he can n e v e r liv e
in
is o la tio n
and t h a t to b e
com e a h a p p y c r e a t i v e m em b er o f h i s own f a m i l y a n d o f t h e hum an f a m i l y i s a w o n d e r f u l a n d s a t i s f y i n g g o a l .
26 HOW TO ADJUST TO THOSE WITH WHOM WE LIVE ANTICIPATED OUTCOMES I t i s H oped t h e s t u d e n t
(1 ) w i l l u n d e r s ta n d t h e c h a n g
in g p a tt e r n s o f f a m ily l i f e ,
( 2 ) w i l l b e t t e r u n d e rs ta n d h i s
p l a c e i n t h e p a t t e r n o f h i s own f a m i l y a n d t h a t o f s o c i e t y , (3 ) w i l l g iv e p e r s p e c tiv e (4 ) w i l l a r r i v e
and ra n g e to
t h e hum an f a m i l y , a n d
a t a g r e a te r o b je c tiv ity about h im s e lf. STEP 1 INITIATORY PROCEDURES
1.
P e r s o n a l- I n te r e s t In v e n to ry .
2.
A u to b io g ra p h ic a l S k e tc h e s
(C o n fid e n tia l),
"My F a m i l y . "
OUTLINE FOR AUTOBIOGRAPHY 1.
I a s a n i n d i v i d u a l — my s t r e n g t h a n d m y w e a k n e s s e s .
2.
My f a m i l y . Its
s iz e .
Its
re la tio n s h ip s .
Its
p o in ts o f c o n f lic t.
Its
common i n t e r e s t s
Its
s p e c ia l jo k e s and c e le b r a tio n s .
and r e c r e a t i o n .
I t s m o s t i n t e r e s t i n g m e m b e r. 3.
My b e h a v i o r p a t t e r n — how I w a s c o n d i t i o n e d b y e a r l y tra in in g .
4.
My c h i e f c o n f l i c t s w i t h m y s e l f , w i t h my f a m i l y , w i t h my frie n d s .
27 5.
I n w h a t w a y s do I n e e d t o
g ro w u p e m o t i o n a l c o n t r o l ?
6.
My f r a n k a n d h o n e s t r e a c t i o n s tin g .
to th e
s u b je c t o f p e t
W hat d o e s t h e t e r m m ea n ? How f a r s h o u l d p e t t i n g g o ? How c a n i t
be c o n tro lle d ?
W hat a r e t h e r e s p o n s i b i l i t i e s o f t h e b o y ? 7.
My r e a c t i o n s t o m a rria g e .
8.
My i d e a l m a t e .
9.
T h e k i n d o f p a r e n t I h o p e t o b e — w h a t I w o u ld b e s u r e t o do a n d w h a t n o t t o d o .
10.
My d a y d r e a m s .
c h a s tity as a
th e g i r l ?
p re re q u is ite to
a happy
28 STEP 2
A.
B.
C.
CONTENT
DEVELOPMENTAL A C T IV IT IE S
W hat a r e t h e p u r p o s e s o f t h e hom e?
Show f i l m s a s a m e a n s t o a d is c u s s io n o f fa m ily life : "Y ou a n d Y o u r F a m ily ," " L a s t o f th e P a g a n s ,"
1.
S o c ia l s ta tu s
2.
P ro c re a tio n .
3.
S e c u rity : e c o n o m ic , e m o tio n a l, p r o t e c ti v e , re c re a tio n a l, s p ir i tu a l.
W hat a r e t h e p r i n c i p a l f a m i l y p a t t e r n s i n t h e w o r l d to d a y ? 1.
P o ly g a m y ( b r o a d e r i n t e r p r e t a t i o n ) : Man h a s m o re th a n one w ife ( I n d i a , C h in a , A f r i c a ) .
2.
P o l y a n d r y : Woman h a s m o re t h a n o n e h u s b a n d ( T ib e t, C e n tr a l A s ia , som e E sk im o t r i b e s ) .
3.
M onogam y: M an h a s o n e m a te ( W e s te r n w o r l d ) .
How do c u s to m s a n d t r a d i t i o n s d i f f e r w i t h i n t h e s e fa m ilie s ? 1.
T he G re a t F a m ily , " f a m i l i s t i c * (C h in a , Ja p a n ). a.
A u th o rity o f e l d e r s .
b.
C u s to m s a n d t r a d itio n s .
1.
I d e n t i f i c a t i o n o f n ew te rm s .
2.
3.
c.
The i n d i v i d u a l .
d.
K in s h ip .
The I n d i v i d u a l i s t i c f a m ily ( W e s te r n c u l t u r e , U . S . ) . a.
O rg a n iz a tio n o f fa m ily u n it.
b.
A u th o rity o f e ld e r s .
c.
The i n d i v i d u a l •
d.
K in s h ip .
T he S te m f a m i l y ( i s o l a t e d r u r a l a n d m o u n ta in a r e a s in U .S .) . a.
O rg a n iz a tio n o f fa m ily .
b.
A u th o rity .
c•
The i n d i v i d u a l .
d.
P o s i t i o n i n t h e com m u n ity an d f a m ily .
How do t h e f a m i l y p a t t e r n s o f a u t h o r i t y d i f f e r ? 1.
2.
3.
T he P a t r i a r c h a l F a m ily . a.
T h e Homan S t a t e .
b.
The H e b rew s.
T he M a t r i a r c h a l F a m i l y . a.
Iro q u o is In d ia n s .
b.
A m e ric a n N e g r o .
T he D e m o c r a t i c F a m i l y . a.
F ro n tie r.
b.
In d u s tria liz a tio n .
30 c.
E.
P.
U rb a n iz a tio n .
W hat i s t h e c o n t r a s t i n p ro d u c tiv e a c t i v i t i e s in t h e hom e f o r t h e r u r a l a n d u rb a n s o c ie ty ? 1.
R u ra l s o c ie ty .
2.
M odem u rb a n s o c i e t y , a•
M a rk et s •
b.
R e a d y -to -w e a r.
c.
L a u n d ry .
d.
A p artm e n t h o u s e .
e.
C h ild ren .
S e lf-te s t (T erm r e c o g n i t i o n ) . P a n e l : D i f f e r e n c e s b e tw e e n r u r a l and u rb an s o c ie ty : R e lig io n P ro te c tio n E d u c a tio n S o c ia l s ta tu s R e c re a tio n
W hat a r e t h e p u r p o s e s o f t h e m o d e m hom e? 1.
2.
3.
E m o tio n a l b o n d . a.
P rim a ry f o u n d a tio n f o r m a rria g e .
b.
F a m ily g ro u p r e p l a c e s in tim a te r e l a t i o n s h i p s o f n e ig h b o r h o o d g ro u p s in e a r l i e r s o c ie tie s .
B io lo g ic a l bond. a.
I n s titu tio n f o r b rin g in g up c h i l d r e n .
b.
P ro v id e s b i r t h r i g h t and p r o te c tio n .
S o c ia l bond. a.
T e a c h in g s o c i a l co n s c io u s n e s s .
1.
M ake l i s t o f n ew te rm s
31 b.
D e v e lo p i d e a l s , l o y a l t i e s , and p r in c ip le s .
c.
L e a rn s lo v e , k in d n e s s , and a f f e c t i o n .
d.
L e a rn s in s e c u r ity , b i c k e r i n g , n a g g in g , c o n flic t.
e.
Home a n e d u c a t i o n a l in s titu tio n . E s ta b lis h e s e a rly a ttitu d e s . D e v e lo p s f i n e r t r a i t s o f hum an n a t u r e .
G.
W hat i s t h e d i f f e r e n c e b e tw e e n an a u th o r i ta r i a n fa m ily and a d e m o c ra tic fa m ily ? 1.
A u th o r ita r ia n fa m ily . a*
F a t h e r , h e ad and m a s te r.
b.
M o th e r, i n f e r i o r an d s u b o rd in a te .
c.
S t r i c t l y d is c ip lin e d by h e a d .
d.
F a th e r m akes a l l d e c is io n s .
e.
H o u s e h o ld t a s k s a s s ig n e d b y h e a d .
f.
P a re n ts c o n s id e r c h i l d r e n t o o im m a tu re t o have v a l i d o p in io n s and c h ild r e n c o n s id e r p a re n ts o ld -fa s h io n e d an d u n s y m p a th e tic .
D e b a te : " C h ild r e n b ro u g h t up i n an a u t h o r i t a r i a n fa m ily a r e b e t t e r p r e p a re d f o r l i f e th a n a re c h i l d r e n b ro u g h t up i n a d e m o c ra tic f a m i ly .*
32 g. 2.
H.
M a jo r r e s p o n s i b i l i t y c a rrie d by p a re n t.
D e m o c ra tic f a m i ly . a.
F a th e r th e le a d e r .
b.
M o th e r s h a r i n g e q u a l ly *
c.
D e c is io n s re a c h e d b y d i s c u s s i o n i n w h ic h a l l m e m b e rs p a r t i c i p a te .
d.
S e lf-d ire c te d d is c i p l i n e b y m e m b e rs th e m s e lv e s , g u id e d by p a re n ts .
e.
M anagem ent o f h o u s e h o ld p la n n e d co o p e ra tiv e ly .
f .
M u tu a l a t t e m p t s t o u n d e rs ta n d v ie w p o in ts o f o t h e r m e m b e rs a n d t o g iv e c o n s id e r a tio n t o n e e d s and w is h e s of a ll.
g.
R e s p o n s ib ilitie s sh a re d b y a l l m e m b e rs o f t h e fa m ily .
W hat w o u ld se em t o fa m ily ?
be th e
i d e a l g o a l f o r a d e m o c ra tic
1.
R e g u la r c o u n c i ls o f p a r e n ts and c h ild r e n in a l l m a t t e r s o f common c o n c e rn •
2.
D is trib u tio n o f r e s p o n s ib ilitie s .
2.
D i s c u s s how t h e m a n a g e m ent o f th e h o u s e h o ld m ay b e s h a r e d b y a l l m e m b e rs o f h o u s e h o l d .
3.
B rin g in g p a r e n t s an d c h i l d r e n t o g e t h e r w i t h common i n te r e s t and g o a ls .
4.
G iv in g c h i l d r e n a f e e l i n g o f s e c u r ity and w e ll b e in g .
W hat a r e t h e r o l e s o f v a r i o u s m e m b e rs o f t h e f a m i l y ? 1.
2.
3.
H usband. a.
L o y a lty t o w if e , p e r so n a l and s o c ia l c o m p a n io n s h ip .
b.
C o n s id e ra tio n f o r w i f e ’s f e e l i n g s and needs.
c.
T r ie s t o u n d e rs ta n d h e r w ith h e r p ro b le m s.
F a th e r. a.
J o in tly re s p o n s ib le f o r g u id a n c e an d re a rin g o f c h ild re n .
b.
A c o n trib u to r to s o c ia l* r e c r e a tio n a l, and s p i r i t u a l q u a lity o f hom e r e l a t i o n s h i p .
c.
M a jo r r o l e o f p r o v i d e r r e g a r d l e s s o f w h e th e r w i f e g a i n f u l l y em p lo y e d o r n o t .
d.
F u n c tio n s a t a h ig h le v e l o f m a tu rity .
W ife . a.
C o m p a n io n .
34 b.
4.
5•
J*.
G iv e s h e r h u sb a n d s u p p o r t , e n c o u ra g e m e n t, a n d s y m p a th y .
M o th e r. a.
B o le d e m a n d s t h a t s h e s t u d y c h i l d r e n , know how t o f e e d , c a r e f o r a n d h a n d l e th e m .
b.
C o o p e ra tio n .
H om em aker • a.
E x e c u te s t a s k s .
b.
C re a te s c o n d itio n and a tm o s p h e r e o f c o m f o r t , e a s e , and f r i e n d l i n ess.
c.
M a in ta in s i n t e r e s t s w h ic h a r e p e c u l i a r l y h e r ow n.
In w hat w ays can th e s u c c e s s o f r e a r in g c h ild r e n be m ea su re d ? 1.
D e g r e e t o w h ic h y o u p r o duce and r e a r h e a lth y c h ild re n .
2.
D e g re e t o w h ic h you g iv e th e m a g o o d e d u c a t i o n .
3.
D e g r e e i n w h ic h y o u d i r e c t t h e i r l i v e s i n s u c h a w ay t h a t th e y a c h ie v e a re a s o n a b le d e g re e o f s o c i a l , e m o tio n a l, and i n t e l l e c t u a l m a tu rity .
4.
D e g re e t o w h ic h you h e l p th e m a c q u i r e a p h i l o s o p h y o f l i f e a s a g u id e i n m e e tin g l i f e ' s p ro b le m s s u c c e s s fu lly .
L i s t th e im p o rta n t fu n c tio n s o f c h ild re n in t h e hom e.
35
K.
5.
D e g re e t o w h ic h y o u e n a b le th e m t o b e e c o n o m i c a l l y s e lf-s u ffic ie n t.
6.
D e g re e t o w h ic h y o u e n a b le th e m t o e s t a b l i s h g o o d r e la tio n s h ip s w ith th e o p p o s ite se x .
7.
D e g ree t o w h ic h y o u h e lp th e m a c q u i r e s o c i a l h a b i t s w h ic h i n s u r e g o o d m e n ta l h e a lth .
8.
D e g ree t o w h ic h y o u e n a b le th e m t o l i v e w i t h i n t h e c o n v e n t i o n s o f t h e com m u n ity .
8.
D is c u s s th e s e e ig h t p o i n t s , e m p h a s iz in g t h e f a c t t h a t a good h e a l t h y hom e e n v i r o n m e n t d o e s m u ch t o i n s u r e y o u r a d ju s tm e n t in l i f e .
W h at a r e t h e p r e s e n t t r e n d s i n f a m i l y l i f e ? 1*
R e d u c tio n i n t h e s i z e o f fa m ilie s , e s p e c ia lly in u p p e r in c o m e g r o u p s .
2.
In c re a se d o p p o rtu n itie s f o r women t o w o r k , m ak in g i t u n n e c e s s a ry f o r th e m t o m a r r y f o r s u p p o rt.
3.
I n c r e a s e in t h e num ber o f m a r r i e d wom en who w o rk o u t s i d e t h e h o m e.
4.
D e cre ase i n th e s o l i d a r i t y o f t h e hom e g r o u p w i t h r e s p e c t t o w o rk an d p la y .
5.
I n c r e a s e d g o v e rn m e n ta l r e s p o n s ib ility f o r c a re and e d u c a tio n o f c h i l d re n .
2.
D e b a te : I f t h e r e a r e c h i l d r e n i n t h e fa m ily , t h e m o th e r s h o u ld n o t w o rk o u t s i d e t h e h o m e .
4.
D is c u s s th e s e s ix p o i n t s an d fro m c l a s s o b s e rv a tio n d e s c rib e s i t u a t i o n s w h ic h g iv e r i s e t o q u a r r e l s am ong c h ild r e n o f a fa m ily .
36 6.
L.
W hat a r e t h e m o s t i m p o r t a n t f a c t o r s i n m oney m anage m e n t? 1.
M.
I n c r e a s e d fre e d o m i n s o c i a l l i f e o f young p e o p le , b r in g in g w ith i t th e added re s p o n si b i l i t y f o r th e young p e o p l e a n d new c a u s e s f o r c o n f l i c t b e tw e e n p a r e n ts and c h ild r e n .
H o n e s ty a s t o e x p e n d itu re .
in c o m e a n d
2.
A g re e m e n t a s t o w h a t t h i n g s m oney i s t o be u sed f o r .
3.
S u ita b le d iv is io n o f r e s p o n s i b i l i t y b e tw e e n h u sb an d and w ife in h a n d lin g o f f a m i l y 's m oney.
4.
P u rp o se o f b u d g e tin g .
5.
A llo w a n c e f o r c h i l d r e n .
6.
S a v in g s an d i n s u r a n c e .
W h at a r e life ?
S t u d y w a y s i n w h ic h t h i s can be re d u c e d .
som e o f t h e m a j o r c r i s e s t h a t a r i s e i n
1.
L oss o f f i n a n c i a l s e c u rity .
2.
B e rea v em en t b e c a u s e o f d e a th .
3.
C o n flic tin g a.
F o r o n e m o n th k e e p a n ite m iz e d r e c o rd o f th e c o s t o f o p e ra tin g ex p e n s e s i n y o u r h o m e.
s itu a tio n s .
F e e li n g o f b e in g u n w a n te d .
fa m ily
37 b. 4.
N.
0.
D iv o rc e .
W h at a r e
som e c a u s e s f o r d i v o r c e ?
1.
F in a n c ia l te n s io n s .
2.
L ife in t r a n s i e n t a r e a s .
3.
L ack o f a f f e c t i o n .
4.
S e lfis h n e s s , a tio n .
in c o n s id e r
W hat a r e t h e l e g a l g r o u n d s f o r d iv o rc e ( in C a lif o r n ia ) ? 1.
A d u lte ry .
2.
E x tr e m e c r u e l t y .
3.
W illfu l d e s e rtio n .
4.
W illfu l n e g le c t.
5.
H a b itu a l in te m p e ra n c e .
6
.
7.
P.
F e e lin g s o f je a lo u s y .
C o lle c t new sp ap er a r t i c l e s o r new s ite m s on d iv o r c e cases. I n v i t e ju d g e i n t o t a l k d iv o rc e .
C o n v ic tio n o f a f e lo n y . In c u ra b le
W h at a r e t h e
in s a n ity .
e f f e c t s o f d iv o rc e upon h u sb a n d and w ife ?
1.
A d m is s io n o f f a i l u r e .
2.
M ay b e co m e c y n i c a l .
3.
M ay d ra w aw ay s o c i a l l y .
4.
D e s ire f o r re v e n g e o r t o j u s t i f y o n e ’s s e l f in eyes o f p u b lic .
on
38 Q,.
W hat a r e t h e e f f e c t s o f d iv o r c e on c h il d r e n ? 1.
T o r n b e tw e e n tw o l o y a l tie s .
W rite a c a s e h i s t o r y o f a d iv o r c e d c o u p le y ou know , s h o w in g h o w s e p a r a t i o n a f f e c te d h u sband , w ife , and c h ild r e n .
2.
D e p r iv e d o f s t a b i l i t y o f a c o m p le te f a m ily life .
"A f a i l u r e i n m a r r i a g e i s a f a ilu r e in c o u rts h ip . n D is c u s s t h i s .
3.
S o c ia l s ta tu s in p la y g ro u p i s a f f e c t e d .
4.
W h o le a t t i t u d e t o w a r d m a r r i a g e m ay b e co m e c y n ic a l and w a rp ed .
39 STEP 3 EVALUATION OF UNIT I I YOU AND YOUR FAMILY TRUE-FALSE T
P la c e an X in th e fa ls e .
c o rre c t sp ace f o r tr u e o r
F
1.
A g o o d hom e i s
one t h a t i s v e ry e x p e n s iv e .
3.
I t i s b e t t e r f o r m e m b e rs o f t h e f a m i l y t o h a v e d i v i d e d o p i n i o n s i n o r d e r t h a t a r g u m e n t s m ay b e in te re s tin g .
3.
C h ild re n
4.
T he m a in p u r p o s e o f t h e home i s t o p r o v i d e a p la c e f o r p e o p le t o e a t an d s l e e p .
5.
T he f a m i l y c a r i s a m a t t e r o f c o n c e r n i n a fa m ily .
6.
C h ild re n have a r i g h t t o lo n g s t o th e f a m ily .
7.
T oday th e f a t h e r i s th e h ead o f th e fa m ily .
8.
J o in t p la n n in g f o r a fa m ily l i f e b r in g s p a r e n ts a n d c h i l d r e n t o g e t h e r w i t h common i n t e r e s t s .
9.
The r o l e w o rk .
s h o u l d h e l p i n m a n a g in g t h e h o u s e h o l d .
u se a n y th in g t h a t b e
o f t h e m o th e r i s t o
do a l l t h e h o u s e
10.
U p p e r in c o m e g r o u p s t e n d t o
11.
T h e n u m b e r o f m a r r i e d wom en who w o rk o u t s i d e t h e hom e i s i n c r e a s i n g .
12.
T h e r e i s l e s s o p p o r t u n i t y f o r t h e m a r r i e d woman t o w o rk a t t h e p r e s e n t t i m e b e c a u s e o f t h e g r e a t n u m b e r o f m en s e e k i n g w o r k .
13.
B o y s a n d g i r l s o f h i g h s c h o o l a g e a r e m o re f r e e in t h e i r s o c ia l l i f e th a n t h e i r p a re n ts w e re .
14.
H ig h s c h o o l b o y s a n d g i r l s a r e s u f f i c i e n t l y m a t u r e t o m ake t h e i r own d e c i s i o n s .
15.
I f t h e m o th e r w o rk s o u t s i d e t h e ho m e, sh e s h o u ld a l s o do a l l t h e w o rk i n t h e h o m e .
have la r g e r f a m ilie s
40 16.
A l l m e m b e rs o f t h 8 f a m i l y s h o u l d s h a r e i n p l a n n i n g t h e s p e n d i n g o f t h e in c o m e .
17.
I t i s a l l r i g h t t o m a r r y e v e n t h o u g h t h e m an h a s n o r e g u l a r in c o m e .
18.
The b u d g e t c a n b e a h e l p f u l t o o l i n a id i n g one t o do w i t h h i s m o n e y w h a t h e w a n t s t o do w i t h i t .
19.
C h i ld r e n s h o u ld a c c o u n t f o r a n y a llo w a n c e o f m o n e y g i v e n th e m .
20 .
I n a d e m o c r a tic f a m i l y , t h e m o th e r i s and m a s te r.
21.
T h e p r o b l e m s o f t h e A m e ric a n f a m i l y 2 5 y e a r s a g o w e r e n o d i f f e r e n t f ro m f a m i l y p r o b l e m s t o day.
22.
D e m o c ra tic p r o c e d u r e s o f d i s c u s s i o n a n d d e c i s i o n a r e n o t s u i t a b l e f o r f a m ily m anagem ent b e c a u se o f t h e d i f f e r e n c e s i n a g e o f t h e m e m b e rs .
23.
C h ild c a r e an d t r a i n i n g s h o u ld be t h e r e s p o n s i b i l i t y o f t h e m o th e r r a t h e r t h a n t h e f a t h e r .
24.
P a r e n t s s h o u l d b e m o re s t r i c t i n t h e i r d i s c i p l in e o f c h ild r e n o f h ig h sc h o o l ag e th a n th e y a re in t h e i r c o n tro l o v er younger c h ild r e n .
25.
U s u a l l y t h e r e i s m o re c o n f l i c t b e tw e e n p a r e n t s and c h ild r e n o f h ig h sc h o o l age th a n th e r e i s b e tw e e n p a r e n t s a n d y o u n g e r c h i l d r e n .
26.
D iv o rc e i s an e s c a p e fro m c o n f l i c t r a t h e r th a n a s o lu tio n f o r i t .
27.
A la r g e p e rc e n ta g e o f ju v e n ile fro m b ro k e n h o m es.
28.
D i v o r c e l a w s a r e u n if o x m t h r o u g h o u t t h e U .S .
29.
The d iv o r c e r a t e in g .
30.
L i s t t h r e e m e a n in g s o f a h o m e.
th e h ead
d e l i n q u e n t s com e
i n t h e U .S . h a s b e e n d e c r e a s
1 . ___________________________________________
41 2.
______
3 . ________________________________________________________ 31.
L is t th re e 1
f u n c t i o n s o f t h e A m e ric a n F a m i l y .
.
_
_
_
2 .___________________________________________ 3 . ____________________________________________________________ ___ 32.
Name t h r e e 1
d u tie s o f a f a t h e r o f a fa m ily .
.________________________________________________
2 .___________________________________________ 3 . ____________________________________________________________________ 33.
L i s t t h r e e p ro b le m s o f t h e
fa m ily to d a y .
1 . ____________________________________________________________________ 2 . ____________________________________________________________________ 3 . ____________________________________________________________________ 34.
Name t h r e e b e n e f i t s t o i n g o u t s i d e a hom e. 1
b e d e r iv e d fro m a m o t h e r s w o rk
.________________________________________________
2 . ____________________________________________________________________ 3 . ____________________________________________________________________ 35.
Name t h r e e
lo s s e s to
a f a m i ly i f t h e m o th e r w o rk s .
1 . __________________________________________________________________________________ 2 . ____________________________________________________________________ 3 . ____________________________________________________________________ 36.
L is t th re e
le g a l c a u se s f o r d iv o rc e .
1.__________________________________________________________________________________ 2.
42 3 . ____________________________________________________________ ___ 37.
Name t h r e e e f f e c t s o f d i v o r c e u p o n h u s b a n d a n d w i f e . 1.
2
___
.
,
_
3 . ________ __ ________________________________________________________ 38.
L is t th re e
e f f e c t s o f d iv o rc e upon c h ild r e n .
._______________________________________________ 2 ._______________________________________________ 1
3 . ___________________________________________________________________ 59.
L i s t t h r e e w ay s o f s a v in g m oney. 1
._______________________________________________
2 ._____________________________________________________ 3 . _____________________________________ 40.
L i s t t h r e e w ay s o f p ro m o tin g h a p p y f a m i ly l i f e . 1
._______________________________________________
2 .__________________________________________________ 3 . ___________________________________________________________________ 41.
L i s t t h r e e w ay s i n w h ic h y o u m ig h t be i n d e b t e d t o p a re n ts . 1
your
._______________________________________________
2 .__________________________________________________ 3 . _________________________________________________________________ _ C h o o se w o r d s w h i c h m o s t c o r r e c t l y f i n i s h
s e n te n c e .
42.
if
A home i s t h e c e n t e r o f f a m i l y l i f e 1.
It
is
e x p e n s iv e .
43
43.
44.
45.
2.
F a th e r i s head and is s u e s a l l o r d e r s .
3.
A l l m e m b e rs s h a r e a n d w o r k t o g e t h e r .
P a re n ts te n d to be s u c c e s s fu l p a re n ts i f th e y 1.
P ro v id e fo o d an d c lo t h i n g .
2.
See t h a t t h e i r c h il d r e n a t t e n d S unday S c h o o l.
3.
G iv e t h e i r c h i l d r e n l o v e a n d a f f e c t i o n a n d a s e n s e of s ta b ility .
C h ild re n te n d to r e s p e c t t h e i r p a r e n ts i f 1.
T hey a r e
s tric t
in t h e i r d is c ip lin e .
2.
A re a p t t o
3.
C an t a l k t h i n g s o v e r w i t h th e m i n a c o o p e r a t i v e w ay.
be s la c k in
d is c ip lin e .
I f we do n o t a g r e e w i t h o u r p a r e n t s o n som e s u b j e c t we s h o u ld 1.
A rg u e w i t h th e m a b o u t i t .
2.
L eav e hom e.
3.
T ry a n d se e t h e i r p o i n t o f v ie w .
44 L IS T OF CONCRETE AIDS 1.
F i l m , "Y o u a n d Y o u r F a m i l y , "
(USDA, 2 0 m in S i l e n t ) .
D e a ls w i t h p ro b le m s o f d a t i n g , h o u s e h o ld c h o r e s , l a t e h o u r s , a n d g e n e r a l te e n - a g e p ro b le m s . R ecom m ended b y t h o s e w ho u s e i t i n t e e n - a g e g r o u p s t o e n c o u r a g e d i s c u s s io n o f p e r s o n a l p ro b le m s . 2.
F ilm , s d .)
" L a s t o f th e P a g a n s ,"
(NYU a n d G a l . , CFC, 1 4 m in
S p e c i a l l y p r e p a r e d e x c e r p t f r o m MG&I f i l m . S how s r o u t i n e c u s to m s , m a r r ia g e b y c a p t u r e , e t c . G ood l e a d u p t o d i s c u s s i o n on m a r r ia g e . 3.
A u to b io g ra p h ic a l s k e tc h e s .
4.
Q u e s tio n B ox.
.*i 'i T
„r*.
45
LOOKING AHEAD TO MARRIAGE
46
UNIT I I I . FROM DATING TO THE WEDDING BOW TO BUILD FOR A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE It
is
th e p u rp o se o f t h i s
u n i t t o p r o v id e a c la s s ro o m
a tm o s p h e r e w h ic h w i l l e n c o u r a g e t h e
s tu d e n t to
e x p re ss h is
h o n e s t o p in io n s , a sk h i s q u e s tio n s and v o ic e h i s u n c e r ta in t i e s w i t h t h e c o n f i d e n c e w h ic h co m es t o t h o s e w ho f e e l t h a t t h e i r c o n t r i b u t i o n s a r e w e lc o m e d a n d v a l u e d .
47 HOW TO BUILD FOR A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE ANTICIPATED OUTCOMES It
is
e x p e c te d t h a t th e
m eans o f t h i s tru th
s tu d y u n i t , to
t h a t "No m an i s
s tu d e n t
(1 ) w i l l b e g u id e d , b y
a re a liz a tio n
o f th e
an i s l a n d u n to h i m s e l f , "
in s p ir e d w ith th e d e s ir e
and d e te rm in a tio n to
d y n a m ic
(2 ) m ay b e e s ta b lis h
s a tis f y in g l i f e - l o n g r e la tio n s h ip s w ith th e o p p o s ite
sex,
a n d ( 3 ) w i l l a c q u i r e t h e f a c t u a l k n o w le d g e w h ic h h e m ay a p p ly , th ro u g h o b je c tiv e
in te rp re ta tio n ,
to th e
c re a tiv e
s o l u t i o n o f h i s own i m m e d ia te a n d f u t u r e p r o b l e m s w i t h r e g a rd to th e o p p o s ite
se x *
STEP 1 INITIATORY PROCEDURES 1.
E s t a b l i s h r a p p o r t w ith c l a s s b y d e m o c ra tic d is c u s s io n o f "Why P r e p a r e f o r M a r r i a g e ? "
2*
A sk f o r u n s i g n e d s t u d e n t s t a t e m e n t s c o n c e r n i n g m a t e r i a l w h ic h t h e y h o p e t h e u n i t w i l l i n c l u d e . T a b u la te and a r r a n g e d a t a i n o r d e r o f " p o p u l a r d e m a n d ." P r e s e n t f in d in g s t o c l a s s a s soon a s p o s s i b l e , an d u se in fo rm a t i o n a s th e b a s i s f o r d e m o c ra tic p ro c e d u re in u n i t d e v e lo p m e n t.
STEP 2 CONTENT
DEVELOPMENTAL A C T IV IT IES
M a k in g c o n t a c t s w i t h t h e o p p o s ite s e x .
D e v e lo p a l i s t o f w o r k a b l e w a y s b y w h ic h a t i m i d p e r so n o r a new com er t o t h e sc h o o l can g e t a c q u a in te d .
1.
2.
How c a n y o u g e t a c q u a in te d w ith th e o p p o s ite sex ? a.
M in g le w i t h g r o u p s th a t p re se n t e l i g ib le p ro s p e c ts .
b.
C u l t i v a t e a w id e c ir c le o f frie n d s .
c.
B ecom e a m em b er o f ca m p u s o r g a n i z a tio n s .
d.
J o in a c h u rc h g ro u p .
e.
I d e n tif y y o u rs e lf w ith hobby c lu b s o f i n t e r e s t t o b o th sexes.
f.
L e a r n t o do new t h i n g s i n m ix e d g ro u p s.
g.
A c q u ir e s o c i a l s k i l l s w h ic h a p p e a l t o b o t h sexes.
h.
Be a p p r o a c h a b l e .
P e rs o n a l a n e c d o te s .
How c a n y o u a t t r a c t t h e o p p o s ite sex ? a.
M ake t h e m o s t o f y o u r p e rs o n a l a p p e a ra n c e .
b.
Know a n d u s e g o o d m an n e rs.
a.
G iv e o n e o r m o re o f th e t e s t s in th e s u g g e s te d t e s t s , page 6 5 .
49
B.
o.
D e v e lo p c o n v e r s a t i o n a l s k ill.
d.
C u ltiv a te p e rs o n a lity and c h a r a c te r t r a i t s .
e.
A v o id b e i n g o v e r a n x io u s o r to o e a s y to g e t.
f.
E lim in a te d i s t a s t e f u l m a n n e ris m s .
g.
A v o id b r a g g i n g a b o u t m a te r ia l p o s s e s s io n s o r a c h ie v e m e n ts .
h.
Show t h a t y o u r e a l l y lik e th e o p p o s ite se x .
D a tin g an d c o u r t s h i p . 1.
2.
How d o e s d a t i n g d i f f e r f ro m c o u r t s h i p ? a.
B oy a n d g i r l do n o t n e c e s s a r i l y c o n fin e t h e i r a tte n tio n s to one a n o th e r.
b.
L e s s e m o tio n a l i n t e r e s t b e tw e e n t h e p a ir.
c.
M ay o r m ay n o t l e a d t o a m o re s e r i o u s in te re s t.
d.
I s e n jo y e d f o r i t s own s a k e .
W hat i s t h e p u r p o s e o f d a tin g ? a.
W id e e x p e r i e n c e i n d a tin g fa v o ra b le to i n t e l l i g e n t m a te s e le c tio n .
D is c u s s d is c o v e re d p r o b l e m s a n d w o rk o u t c o n c re te s o lu tio n s .
W r i t e p a p e r o n : My F i r s t D a t e , o r T h e K in d o f P e r s o n I W o u ld L ik e To D a t e .
2.
H ave a c o m m itte e w o rk on a H andbook f o r D a t e r s — Some D o 1s a n d D o n * ts .
50
5.
4.
b.
O ffe rs an i n t e r e s t i n g p a s tim e .
c.
E n a b le s young p e o p le to p a r tic ip a te in s o c ia l a c t i v i t i e s de s ig n e d f o r p a i r s .
W hat p r o b l e m s c o n f r o n t th e b e g in n in g d a te r ? a.
Age a t w h i c h o n e s h o u ld b e g in t o d a te .
b.
T ypes o f d a tin g a p p ro p ria te a t v a rio u s age le v e ls .
c.
D e a d lin e h o u rs f o r d a te s .
d.
C o st o f d a te s .
e.
G o in g " D u t c h . ”
f.
P l a c e s t o go a n d th in g s to do.
g.
D a te e t i q u e t t e .
h.
B re a k in g a d a te g r a c e fu lly .
i.
H a n d lin g p a r e n t a l o b je c tio n s to frie n d s and a c t i v i t i e s .
j .
D e v e lo p in g t e c h n iq u e s f o r a tt a i n i n g a n d /o r m a in ta in in g p o p u la r i t y w ith o p p o s ite se x .
k.
D e fin in g s ta n d a r d s in re g a rd to p a rk in g , n e c k in g , and p e t t i n g .
W hat p r o b l e m s c o n f r o n t t h e m o re a d v a n c e d d a t e r ?
P a n e l d is c u s s io n : P ro b le m s o f t h e B e g i n n i n g D a te r.
d.
4.
C la s s d is c u s s io n (C h o o s e o n e o r m o r e ) : G o in g " D u tc h ,” P e t P e e v e s i n D a tin g , My P a r e n t s 9 I d e a s A bout D a tin g .
W rite c o n f i d e n t i a l p a p e r o n My P e r s o n a l S t a n d a r d s f o r D a te B e h a v io r.
51
5.
6.
a.
G o in g s t e a d y ( w i t h n o o b lig a tio n to m a rry ).
b.
A t t i t u d e s to w a rd p a r k in g , n e c k in g , and p e ttin g .
c.
A t t it u d e to w a rd p r e m a rita l r e la tio n s .
d.
A v o id in g e m o t i o n a l c ris e s .
e.
U n d e rs ta n d in g d i f f e r e n c e s in sex re sp o n se o f boys and g i r l s .
How d o e s c o u r t s h i p fro m d a ti n g ?
d iffe r
S u rv e y t h e s e p a p e r s and d i s c u s s th e s e r e s u l t s w ith c la s s . W ork o u t C ode f o r D a tin g w h ic h r e p r e s e n ts th e th in k in g o f th e m a jo r ity o f th e c la s s .
5.
a.
S e rio u s i n t e r e s t cen t e r e d o n o n e m em b er o f th e o p p o s ite se x .
b.
R e l a t i o n s h i p m ay l e a d t o fo x m a l e n g ag e m e n t and to m a r r ia g e .
c.
S t r o n g e r b o n d s o f sym p a t h y a n d c o m p a n io n s h ip b e tw e e n t h e p a i r .
d.
M ore a t t e n t i o n p a i d t o fa m ily b a ck g ro u n d , a t t i t u d e s to w a rd l i f e , c h a ra c te r t r a i t s , e tc .
W hat i s t h e p u r p o s e o f c o u rts h ip ? a.
T ra in in g p e rio d f o r d e v e lo p m e n t o f p e rm a n e n t s ta n d a rd s and i d e a ls w ith re g a rd to o p p o s ite se x .
b.
P e r io d f o r d e v e lo p in g o f p o s i t i v e , w h o le som e a t t i t u d e s t o w a r d sex .
S tu d e n ts lo o k up and r e p o r t on c o u r ts h ip c u s to m s i n o t h e r c o u n trie s .
c.
6.
S tu d e n ts in te r v ie w p a r e n t s on t h e i r c o u r t s h i p . H av e th e m w r i t e a p a p e r o n When Dad W as C o u r t i n g Mom.
C l a s s d i s c u s s i o n : W h at p e rs o n a lity t r a i t s o r a t t i t u d e s m ay c a u s e c o n f l i c t s d u rin g c o u r t s h ip ? (J e a lo u s y , p o s s e s s i v e n e s s , m o o d i n e s s , e tc .)
52
7.
C.
c.
P r a c tic e p e rio d f o r a c q u ir in g te c h n iq u e s o f p e rs o n a lity ad ju s tm e n ts .
d.
E x p lo ra to ry p e rio d f o r d i s c o v e r i n g com mon i n t e r e s t s .
W hat a r e som e o f t h e p r o b l e m s w h ic h m ay a r i s e d u rin g c o u rts h ip ?
7.
a.
D e te rm in a tio n o f w h e th e r m u tu a l f e e l in g i s lo v e o r i n fa tu a tio n .
b.
A t t i t u d e s to w a rd p e t t i n g and p r e m a rita l r e la tio n s .
c.
M e e tin g p a r e n t a l o b je c tio n s to th e re la tio n s h ip .
P a ss o u t q u e s tio n n a ir e on " P e tti n g ." (T e a c h e r sh o u ld p r e p a re t h i s in o rd e r to o b ta in s tu d e n t r e a c tio n s to a l l th e p o in ts d e s ira b le to b rin g o u t f o r c la s s d is c u s s io n . T h is i s th e p la c e f o r con s i d e r a t io n o f su ch p ro b le m s a s v e n e r e a l d i s e a s e , t h e unw ed m o th e r, g u i l t f e e l i n g s , l iq u o r and se x . p ro m is c u ity , e tc .)
d.
D e c id in g w h e th e r i n c r e a s in g in tim a c y and u n d e rs ta n d in g j u s t i f y p la n s f o r fo rm a l e n g ag em en t and m a r r ia g e .
A s s ig n c l a s s t o r e p o r t on a t t i t u d e s o f a u th o r itie s in f i e l d w ith re g a rd to th e s e p ro b le m s .
M a te s e l e c t i o n . 1.
W hat a r e som e d e s i r a b l e b a s ic s i m il a r it i e s to c o n s id e r? a.
C u ltu r a l b a c k g ro u n d .
b.
R e lig io u s th in k in g .
c.
S o c ia l s ta n d a rd s .
d.
L evel o f in te llig e n c e .
e.
L ev el o f e d u c a tio n .
1.
H ave a c a p a b le s t u d e n t m ake l a r g e c h a r t s ( c o p ie d fro m o n e o f t h e b a s i c b o o k s) on M a te S e l e c t i o n S t u d i e s . D is c u s s th e s e w ith c la s s . W r i t e p a p e r o n My I d e a l M a te a n d / o r A d v ic e t o My S o n ( o r d a u g h te r) on S e le c tio n o f M a te .
f .
In te re s ts .
g.
F u tu re g o a ls .
W hat a r e som e c h a r a c t e r i s t i e s g e n e ra lly cons id e re d d e s ira b le ?
2.
a.
K in d ly f e e l i n g s to w a rd o t h e r s .
b.
C h e e rfu l p h ilo s o p h y of life .
c.
S ta b ility o f c h a ra c te r.
d.
P a n e l d is c u s s io n : ( S e l e c t o n e o r m o re ) C h a s tity , In flu e n c e o f M o tio n P i c t u r e s o n S t a n d a r d s o f R o m a n tic B e h a v i o r , To M a r r y o r N o t To M a r r y , G o in g S te a d y .
P o t e n t i a l e c o n o m ic c o m p e te n c e o r h o m e m a k in g c o m p e te n c e .
e.
P h y s ic a l a t t r a c t i v e n ess.
f .
G ood h e a l t h .
g.
W illin g n e s s to p ro m is e .
h.
F le x ib ility .
B ook r e p o r t s o n f i c t i o n d e a lin g w ith m ix e d m a r r i a g e s .
R e p o r t f r o m c l a s s mem b e r s on t i m e l y m a t e r i a l i n m a g a z in e s .
com
W hat a r e some a t t i t u d e s g e n e r a lly c o n s id e re d d e s ira b le ? a.
W ho leso m e r e s p o n s e to se x .
b.
F a v o ra b le f e e l i n g s to w a rd r e l i g i o n .
c.
C o n s e rv a tiv e le a n in g s w ith re g a rd to s o c i a l c o n v e n tio n s .
d.
C a u tio u s n e s s and t h r i f t in c o n n e c tio n w i t h m o n ey m a t t e r s .
e.
Warm r e s p o n s e t o c h ild re n •
3.
S o c io -d ra m a : M o th e rD a u g h te r o r F a th e r - S o n c o n v e rs a tio n . D a u g h te r ( o r so n ) i s e ig h te e n , g ra d u a tin g fro m h ig h s c h o o l, an d w a n t s t o m a r r y im m e d ia te ly .
54 4.
5.
D.
W hat a r e som e o f t h e e a r m a r k s o f t h e p e r s o n who i s m a tu re en o u g h t o m arry ? a.
A b i l i t y t o m ake own d e c is io n s .
b.
E m o tio n a l e m a n c ip a tio n fro m p a r e n t s .
c.
W illin g n e s s to s a c r i f i c e f o r im p o rta n t f u tu r e g o a ls .
d.
C o u ra g e t o a c k n o w le d g e and p r o f i t by m is ta k e s .
e.
A b ility to e v a lu a te h im s e lf an d h i s m o tiv e s o b je c tiv e ly .
f.
S k i l l f u l u se o f p ro b le m -s o lv in g te c h n iq u e s to re s o lv e c o n f lic ts .
W hat t y p e s o f c o n t e m p l a t e d m a rria g e s o f f e r s p e c ia l p ro b le m s ? a.
M a rria g e w ith one o f a d iffe re n t f a ith .
b.
M a rria g e w ith one o f a d if f e r e n t rac e o r n a tio n a lity .
c.
M a rria g e w ith a p e r so n one d e s i r e s t o re fo im .
a.
H ave c l a s s b r i n g in n ew sp ap er c lip p in g s ab ou t d iv o rc e c a s e s . D is c u s s e v id e n c e s o f p o o r m a te s e le c tio n .
5 . W rite p a p e r o n : The M ost S u c c e s s f u l M a r r i a g e I Know O f , a n d Why I t I s S u c c e s s fu l.
T h e e n g a g e m e n t. 1.
How d o e s t h e e n g a g e m e n t d i f f e r fro m c o u r t s h ip ? a.
M u tu a l a g re e m e n t t o
a.
C la s s d is c u s s io n :
55 lo o k fo rw a rd t o m a rria g e to e ach o th e r. b. 2.
3.
B e g in n i n g o f s e r i o u s in te n tio n to m a rry .
W hat i s
its
p u rp o se ?
a.
P ro v id e s o p p o r tu n ity to e x p lo re f u r t h e r each o th e r* s i n t e r e s t s , a m b itio n s , and p la n s .
b.
A ffo rd s o p p o rtu n ity to g e t t o know t h o r o u g h l y e a c h o t h e r 's p a r e n t s , r e l a t i v e s , and b a ck g ro u n d .
o.
P r o v id e s tim e f o r c o u p le s t o a c q u ir e te c h n iq u e s f o r su b m e rg in g i n t e r e s t s , a m b itio n s , and de s i r e s to th e w i l l and w is h e s o f a n o th e r .
d.
P ro v id e s o p p o r tu n ity to id e n tif y d i f f e r e n c e s in b a c k g ro u n d s, h a b i t s , and v a lu e s a n d a d j u s t t o th e m .
e.
S o lid if ie s th e r e la tio n s h ip in p re p a ra tio n f o r th e im m in e n t c r i s e s a n d re s p o n s ib ilitie s of m a rria g e .
How l o n g s h o u l d i t a.
W hat i s t h e p u r po se o f th e en gagem ent p e rio d ?
la s t?
S h o u ld b e l o n g e n o u g h to d is c o v e r , th ro u g h t e s t i n g and d i s c u s s io n , w h e th e r o r n o t c o u p le h a s s o l i d f o u n d a t i o n u p o n w h ic h to b u ild su c c e ssfu l m a rria g e •
3.
a.
S u rv e y c l a s s to f in d o u t th o s e who a r e e n g a g e d . H ave p e o p l e g i v e re a so n s f o r fa v o r in g h ig h sc h o o l e n g a g e m e n ts . Sub j e c t th e m t o b a rra g e o f c la s s q u e s tio n s .
d.
A sk f o r u n s i g n e d q u e s tio n s r e l a ti v e to engagem ent p ro b le m s . U se d a t a fo r c la s s d is c u s s io n .
C la s s d is c u s s io n : B re a k in g a n E n g ag e m e n t. C an a n E n g a g e m e n t Be T oo L o n g ? D oes E n g ag em en t J u s t i f y P re m a rita l R e la tio n s ? The D o u b le S t a n d a r d .
56 4.
E.
R e g a rd in g w h a t p ro b le m s s h o u ld a t t i t u d e s be c la rifie d ? a.
Sex c o n d u c t d u rin g engagem ent p e r io d .
b.
The d e s i r e o r l a c k o f d e s ire f o r c h ild re n .
c.
The s p a c in g , n u m b er, and d i s c ip l i n in g o f c h ild re n .
d.
P la c e o f ab o d e.
e.
In -la w r e l a t i o n s h i p s .
f.
H a n d lin g o f f a m ily i n come •
g.
D e s ira b ility o r not o f w i f e *s w o r k i n g o u t s i d e hom e.
h.
R o le o f r e l i g i o n fa m ily .
i.
F u tu re g o a ls f o r w h ic h t o w o r k .
j.
P r e - m a r ita l c o u n s e l in g and e x a m in a tio n .
k.
L egal im p lic a tio n s w h ic h m a r r i a g e i n v o lv e s .
1.
R o le o f s e x i n t h e m a rria g e r e l a t i o n s h i p s .
m.
T ype, c o s t, and p la c e o f w e d d in g .
n.
T ype, c o s t, p la c e , and le n g th o f honeym oon.
P r e d i c t in g h a p p in e s s in m a rria g e .
4*
H ave s t u d e n t , o r com m itte e o f s tu d e n ts , r e p o r t on t h e f o llo w i n g : L e g a l A s p e c ts o f M a rria g e , P r e - M a r ita l C o u n s e lin g , M a rria g e L aw s i n C a l i f o r n i a , W e d d in g P l a n s fro m S t a r t t o F i n i s h , and C o st o f E ngagem ent R in g . H ave s e l e c t e d s t u d e n t s p r e p a r e c h a r t s s h o w in g m a r r ia g e la w s i n a l l th e s ta te s .
in
k.
C la s s d is c u s s io n : T y p e, C o s t, P la c e , a n d L e n g th o f H o n ey m o o n , t o g e th e r w ith th e a d ju s tm e n t p ro b le m s in v o lv e d .
G iv e M a r r i a g e P r e d i c t i o n S c a le .
W hat e f f e c t do t h e p a re n ts * m a rria g e s have upon th e c o u p le ’s m a rria g e ? a.
I f p a r e n ts on b o th s i d e s o r e h a p p il y m a rrie d , ch an ces f o r c o u p le ’ s m a r ita l h a p p in e s s g r e a t l y in c re a s e d .
W hat e f f e c t d o e s o n e ’ s c h ild h o o d h a v e on h i s m a rria g e ? a*
H appy c h ild h o o d s i g n i f ic a n t in in d i c a t in g p ro b a b le h a p p in e s s in m a rria g e .
b.
L ack o f c o n f l i c t w ith m o th e r a n d f a t h e r a n d s tr o n g a tta c h m e n t t o b o th in c r e a s e c h an c es f o r m a r ita l h a p p in e s s .
c.
In fre q u e n c y and m ild n e s s b u t firm n e s s o f c h ild h o o d d i s c i p l i n e fa v o ra b le f a c to r in p r e d i c t i n g h a p p in e s s in m a rria g e .
How d o e s t h e l e n g t h o f a c q u a in ta n c e a f f e c t m a r ria g e ? a.
S t u d i e s show t h a t l o n g e r c o u p l e in o w each o th e r b e fo re m a rria g e , th e g r e a te r a re th e ir chances fo r h a p p in e s s in m a r r ia g e .
b.
V e r y lo w r a t i o o f s u c c e s s in m a rria g e s c h a ra c te riz e d by s h o r t a c q u a in ta n c e c u lm in a tin g in e lo p e m ent .
a.
2.
C la s s d is c u s s io n : When a n d how s h o u ld o n e p r e p a re a c h ild f o r a h ap p y m a rria g e ?
H ave s e l e c t e d s t u d e n t r e p o r t on M a r r ia g e P r e d i c t i o n S tu d ie s and t h e i r fin d in g s .
b.
B ook r e p o r t s : l i o t i o n d e a lin g w ith h ap p y m ar r ia g e a d ju s tm e n ts . H ave c l a s s a n a l y z e th e r e la tio n s h ip s a n d m ake o b j e c t i v e d e d u c tio n s .
3.
C la s s d is c u s s io n ( s e l e c t one o r m o re ): S e c re t M a rria g e s , E l o p e m e n t s , How M uch M oney S h o u ld a C o u p le H ave At t h e T im e o f M a rria g e ?
b.
In v ite re so u rc e p e rs o n s in th e t h e c o m m u n ity t o g iv e a p a n e l d i s c u s s io n in an a s s e m b ly . T ry to
58
4.
5.
How d o e s a g e a f f e c t m a rria g e h a p p in e s s ?
c h o o s e s p e a k e r s who a re a u th o r itie s in v a rio u s a re a s d e a lt w ith in th e u n i t.
a.
E ig h t tim e s a s g r e a t a ch an ce f o r d iv o rc e i f p e rso n m a rrie s b e f o r e tw e n ty a s a f t e r tw e n ty .
a.
b.
M a rria g e f o r g i r l u n d e r tw e n ty h ig h ly ris k y .
c.
M a rria g e f o r b o y u n d e r tw e n ty -tw o h ig h ly r is k y .
d.
Age d i f f e r e n c e s p r e s e n t s p e c ia l p ro b le m s , b u t one o f le a s t s ig n ific a n t f a c to r s in m a rita l h a p p in e s s .
How do s e x e d u c a t i o n a n d a t t i t u d e s a f f e c t m a r ria g e ? a.
M a rri age s h a p p ie r w hen f i r s t s e x i n fo rm a tio n w as g iv e n by p a re n ts .
b.
P re -m a rita l a ttitu d e s f r e e fro m d i s g u s t o r a v e rs io n in c re a s e chances fo r m a rita l h a p p in e s s .
5.
P aper on: A L e tte r To My S o n ( o r d a u g h te r) on H is (o r h e r) E ig h te e n th B ir th day.
P anel re p o rt o f ob se rv e rs. W r i t e p a p e r o n : My P h ilo s o p h y o f M a r r i a g e — T h e K in d o f H u s b a n d ( o r W if e ) I H ope To B e . P e rs o n a l c o u n s e lin g i s c o n tin u o u s th r o u g h o u t th e u n it.
59
SFBP 3 EVALUATION OF UNIT I I I FROM RATING TO WEDDING TRUE FALSE:
1.
P la c e an X in th e fa ls e .
c o rre c t space f o r tr u e o r
T F ( )( ) I t i s good f o r h ig h s c h o o l s tu d e n ts t o h av e a fe w c l o s e f r i e n d s r a t h e r t h a n a w i d e v a r i e t y o f frie n d s .
2.
( ) ( ) A g o o d w ay t o g e t a c q u a i n t e d w i t h p e o p l e o f t h e o th e r sex i s t o engage in s p o r ts .
3.
( )(
) C le a n lin e s s i s
4.
( )(
) I t i s m o re i m p o r t a n t f o r g i r l s t o th a n f o r b o y s.
5.
( )(
) Love i s o n e o f t h e b a s i c n e e d s o f e v e r y p e rs o n in e v e ry ty p e o f s o c ie ty .
6.
( )(
) I t i s b e t t e r f o r a h ig h s c h o o l b oy o r g i r l to d a te s t e a d i l y w ith one p e rs o n th a n to d a te v a rio u s p e rs o n s.
7.
( ) ( ) C o n t i n u a l d a t i n g b e tw e e n a b o y a n d g i r l a lw a y s r e s u l t s i n i n t i m a c i e s w h i c h m ak e c o n t r o l o f t h e s e x im p u ls e d i f f i c u l t .
8.
( )(
) One s h o u l d n e v e r g o o n a b l i n d d a t e .
9.
( )(
) P a r tic ip a tio n in a c tiv e s p o rts and r e c r e a tio n m a k e s c o n t r o l o f t h e s e x i m p u l s e m o re d i f f i c u l t .
10 . ( ) (
) I s i t a l l r i g h t f o r an e n g a g e d c o u p le t o in d u lg e i n i n t i m a c i e s s u c h a s k i s s i n g o r / a n d e m b r a c in g ?
e s s e n t i a l t o b e in g a t t r a c t i v e . b e w e l l g ro o m e d
11.
( ) ( ) T h e re i s o n ly one p e rs o n o f t h e o t h e r se x w ith whom y o u c a n r e a l l y b e i n l o v e .
12 .
( )(
13.
( ) ( ) I f you w e re once in lo v e w ith a p e rs o n you w i l l a lw a y s b e i n l o v e w i t h t h a t p e r s o n .
) In o r d e r t o d e c id e q u e s tio n s a b o u t d a tin g and c o u r t s h i p o n e m u s t h a v e k n o w le d g e o f t h e f a c t s and a s e t o f s ta n d a rd s .
60 14.
F o r e a c h one o f u s t h e r e i s o n ly one p e rs o n i n t h e w o r l d t o whom o n e c a n b e h a p p i l y m a r r i e d .
15.
I f you a r e d is a p p o in te d i n lo v e , you s h o u ld w ith d ra w fro m s o c i a l l i f e f o r a w h ile u n t i l y ou r e c o v e r fro m i t .
16.
P h y s ic a l a t t r a c t i o n i s o n ly one o f th e im p o rta n t f a c t o r s in c h o o s in g a m a te .
17.
E v en i f a c o u p l e c a n b e m a r r i e d a s s o o n a s t h e y a re in lo v e , i t i s b e t t e r to d e la y m a rria g e and have a p e rio d o f c o u rts h ip .
18.
M a rria g e i s l i k e l y t o p e rs o n a lity .
19.
A lo n g c o u r ts h ip i s m a rria g e .
20.
P h y s ic a l a t t r a c t i v e n e s s a lo n e i s m a rria g e .
21 .
C h a r a c te r t r a i t s a n d g e n e r a l s o c i a l w o rth a r e m o re i m p o r t a n t t o m a r r i a g e t h a n g o o d l o o k s .
22 .
A l l e n g a g e m e n ts l e a d t o m a r r i a g e .
23.
T he p r e - m a r i t a l c o n f e r e n c e i s h e l d t o a n s w e r q u e s t i o n s a y o u n g p e r s o n m ay h a v e r e g a r d i n g m a rria g e .
24.
One o f t h e m o s t i m p o r t a n t b a c k g r o u n d f a c t o r s h a v i n g t o do w i t h m a r r i a g e s u c c e s s i s o n e ’ s own h a p p in e s s in c h ild h o o d .
25.
U s u a lly s tr o n g e m o tio n a l a tta c h m e n ts t o p a r e n t s h av e n o b e a r i n g on o n e ’ s s u c c e s s i n m a r r i a g e .
26.
S i m i l a r i t y in r e l i g i o u s b a ck g ro u n d i s in m a rria g e .
27.
Age d i f f e r e n c e s i n m a t e s h a v e l i t t l e th e su c c e ss o f m a rria g e .
28.
I t i s a lw a y s p o s s i b l e f o r o n e t o c o r r e c t t h e f a u l t s o f th e one he lo v e s a f t e r m a rria g e .
29.
M en u s u a l l y p r e f e r t o m a r r y women who a r e s u p e r io r in e d u c a tio n .
c o r r e c t m ost w e a k n e sse s o f
fa v o ra b le to
su c c e ss in good re a s o n f o r
im p o rta n t e f f e c t on
61 30.
One l o s e s h i s r e l a t i v e s w h e n h e m a r r i e s .
31.
I t i s p o s s i b l e f o r c o u p le s t o b e g in t h e i r l i v e s t o g e t h e r an d t o c o n tin u e l i v i n g t o g e t h e r w ith o u t h a v in g d is a g r e e m e n ts .
32.
I t i s u s u a l l y t h o u g h t b e s t f o r t h e y o u n g c o u p le t o sp en d a t h i r d o f t h e i r tim e w ith one o r th e o th e r ’s p a re n ts .
33.
I t i s o f te n d i f f i c u l t f o r a p a r e n t t o re c o g n iz e t h a t h i s s o n o r d a u g h t e r i s g ro w n u p e v e n a f t e r m a rria g e .
34.
T he i n t e l l i g e n t w om an w i l l n o t f o r c e h e r h u s b a n d t o n e g l e c t h i s w o rk t o f a v o r h i s r e c r e a t i o n a l n eed s.
35.
T he s e x f a c t o r h a s b e e n o v e r - e m p h a s i z e d i n m a rria g e h a p p in e s s .
36.
M a r r i a g e , l i k e e v e r y hum an r e l a t i o n s h i p , i s d e v e l o p i n g , c h a n g i n g , a n d g r o w in g a f f a i r .
37.
M a rria g e la w s a r e u n ifo rm i n a l l
38.
One o f t h e i m p o r t a n t f a c t o r s i n p r e d i c t i n g s u c c e s s in m a rria g e i s th e h a p p in e s s o f th e p a re n ts .
39.
P e o p l e w ho h a d a h a p p y c h i l d h o o d a r e m o re l i k e l y t o b e h a p p y i n m a r r i a g e t h a n p e o p l e w ho h a d a n unhappy c h ild h o o d .
40.
D u r in g t h e e n g a g e m e n t p e r i o d t h e c o u p l e s h o u l d d e c i d e w h e t h e r o r n o t t h e w i f e i s t o w o rk a f t e r th e y a re m a rrie d .
41.
A c o u p le s h o u ld le a v e q u e s t i o n s o f f i n a n c e f o r d is c u s s io n a f t e r th e y a re m a rrie d .
42.
I t i s f o r th e b r i d e ’s p a re n ts to w e d d in g .
43.
C o u p l e s c a n u s u a l l y o v e rc o m e t h e c o n f l i c t s o f m a r r ie d l i f e i f b o th i n d i v i d u a l s a r e w i l l i n g to c o o p e ra te .
44.
E m p h a s is on t h e r o m a n t i c a s p e c t o f m a r r i a g e le a d s to a f e e l i n g o f d is a p p o in tm e n t a f t e r th e honeym oon.
a
s ta te s .
p a y f o r th e
62 F i l l in b la n k s w ith c o r r e c t w o rd s. 1.
Name tw o s t e p s t o
be ta k e n in
f in d in g a m a te .
2.
G iv e o n e r e a s o n w hy i t d u rin g h ig h s c h o o l.
3.
W hat i s t h e p u r p o s e o f t h e p r e - m a r i t a l i n t e r v i e w ?
4.
W ith whom i s
5.
Name o n e p r e c a u t i o n t h e s t a t e h a s t a k e n t o m a rria g e i s p r o p e r ly s u p e r v is e d .
6.
Name t h r e e q u a l i t i e s t h a t g i r l s l i k e d a te .
7.
Name t h r e e d a te .
8.
Name o n e d i s a d v a n t a g e o f a t o o l o n g e n g a g e m e n t.
9.
Show o n e w a y i n w h ic h t h e d a tin g .
i s n o t a d v is a b le to
go s te a d y
th e p r e - m a r i t a l c o n fe re n c e u s u a lly h e ld ?
q u a litie s th a t boys lik e
c o u rts h ip
see th e
in a boy th e y
in g i r l s th e y
d i f f e r s f ro m
63
10.
Name t h r e e t r a i t s o f c h a r a c t e r y o u c o n s i d e r m o s t im p o r t a n t i n m a k in g a s u c c e s s f u l m a r r i a g e .
11.
I t i s m o re o f a d i s a d v a n t a g e f o r a b o y o r a g i r l t o m a r r y b e f o r e t w e n t y - f i v e y e a r s o f a g e . Why?
12.
In w hat p r o p o rtio n s o f m a rria g e s I s th e h u sb an d o ld e r?
13.
G iv e o n e r e a s o n w h y i t i s a d v i s a b l e f o r a n e w l y m a r r ie d c o u p le t o h a v e a honeym oon.
14.
Name o n e t h i n g t h a t c a n b e d o n e b y e a c h p a r t n e r t o k e e p b o re d o m o u t o f t h e i r m a r r i a g e .
15.
D oes t h e p h r a s e " l i v e d h a p p i l y e v e r a f t e r " w e l l t h e f i r s t fe w m o n th s o f m a r r i e d l i f e ? w hy n o t?
16.
I s i t a g o o d i d e a t o m ove i n w i t h p a r e n t s w h en o n e m a rrie s ? S u p p o rt y o u r a n sw e r.
17.
W hat d o w e m ean b y a d e m o c r a t i c f a m i l y ?
18.
Show o n e w ay i n w h ic h c o u r t s h i p day to day l iv i n g in m a rria g e .
d e s c rib e Why o r
d i f f e r s fro m a c t u a l
64 19.
Name t h r e e m a rria g e .
o c c u p a tio n s t h a t c o n tr i b u te to
20.
Name t h r e e o c c u p a t i o n s t h a t unhappy m a rria g e s .
21.
Name tw o a t t i t u d e s t h a t a r e c o n d u c i v e t o m a rria g e .
22.
Name o n e r e q u i r e m e n t o f t h e m a r r i a g e vow s r e g a r d i n g l o y a l t y o f a m an a n d wom an t o e a c h o t h e r .
seem t o
a happy
be a s s o c ia te d w ith
h a p p in e s s i n
65 SUGGESTED TESTS A dam s, D r . C l i f f o r d R . , a n d P a c k a r d , V a n c e : M a te . W hat i s
Y our E x p e c ta n c y o f M a r r ia g e ?
A re You O ld E n o u g h T o M a r r y ?
How To P i c k a p . 35 p.
44
A re You Grow n Up E m o t i o n a l l y ?
pp.
4 4 , 4 5 , 46
A re You R e a l l y I n L o v e ?
pp.
5 2 , 5 3 , 54
A re You T oo J e a l o u s ?
pp.
1 5 4 , 155
C ra w fo rd , Jo h n E ., G ro w in g U p.
a n d W o o d w ard , L u t h e r :
B e t t e r W ays o f
How A l i k e A re My B e lo v e d a n d I ?
pp.
2 2 2 , 223
How W e ll Am I P i t t e d
pp.
233 , 234
f o r M a rria g e ?
J o h n s o n , R o s w e l l , a n d R a n d o lp h , H e l e n : M a rria g e .
L o o k in g T o w a rd s
How G ood a " D e a r " H u n t e r A re You?
pp. 11,
12
W h at I s
pp. 21,
22
Y our " I n t e r e s t R a te ? "
I s Y o u r E m o t i o n a l C o n t r o l G ood?
p.
74
66 L IS T OP CONCRETE AIDS 1.
F i l m , " S h y G uy" (LHD & SHD 16 mm s d IE m i n ) . I n t e r e s t e d f a t h e r l e n d s a h e l p i n g h a n d a s h i s own t e e n ag e so n m a s te r s s h y n e s s a n d w in s f r i e n d s .
2.
F i l m , " J u n i o r P ro m "
( C a l . 20 m in s d C o l o r -
# 5 .0 0 ) .
To m e e t e d u c a t i o n a l p r o b l e m s o f i m p r e s s i n g s t u d e n t s w i t h t h e im p o rta n c e o f good m a n n e rs i n d a t i n g . W id e ly r e com m ended a n d f o u n d t o b e e x t r e m e l y h e l p f u l i n s o l v i n g s t u d e n t s * im m e d ia te p r o b l e m s . 5.
M a rria g e l i c e n s e .
4.
P a n e l D is c u s s io n s .
MAKING ENDS MEET
68
UNIT I V . MONEY IN MARRIAGE HOW TO MANAGE THE FAMILY INCOME It
i s th e p u rp o se o f t h i s
g iv e n an a w a re n e s s o f th e
u n it th a t th e
im p o rta n c e o f f a m ily f i n a n c i a l
p ro b le m s a n d t h a t h e b e g iv e n t h e o f t h e s e p ro b le m s .
s tu d e n t be
s k ills
f o r th e
s o lu tio n s
69 HOW TO MANAGE THE FAMILY INCOME ANTICIPATED OUTCOMES E ach s tu d e n t s h o u ld
( 1 ) h a v e a n i n c r e a s i n g k n o w le d g e
a n d a w a re n e s s o f h i s p a r t i n t h e p ro b le m s and im p o rta n c e o f fa m ily f i n a n c i a l m a tte r s , s k ills
in th e
n a tu re ,
and
(2 )
le a rn
th e b a s ic
c o o p e ra tiv e
s o lu tio n o f fa m ily m a tte r s o f a f in a n c ia l
(5 )
d e v e lo p c o o p e r a tiv e a t t i t u d e s i n th e
a re a o f
fa m ily f i n a n c i a l p la n n in g .
STEP 1 INITIATORY PROCEDURES 1.
P r e s e n t t o t h e c l a s s a c h a r t s h o w in g t h e t y p i G a l s p e n d in g p a t t e r n s o f th e m odem fa m ily .
2.
P r e s e n t a s t a n d a r d b u d g e t f o r a s t a n d a r d in c o m e .
70 STEP 2
A.
CONTENT
DEVELOPMENTAL A C T IV IT IES
Why i s f a m i l y f i n a n c e o f im p o rta n c e ?
C la s s d is c u s s io n , p a n e ls , o r a l r e p o r t s , c o m m itte e r e p o r t s b a s e d on t h e p a r a l l e l q u e s tio n s and to p ic s .
1.
B.
C.
51 o f 100 d i v o r c e c a s e s l i s t e d d is c o rd o v e r fin a n c e s a s a re a so n f o r d iv o rc e .
2.
2 o u t o f e v e r y 10 c o u p le s n e v e r a g re e in f in a n c ia l m a tte rs a s lo n g a s m a rria g e l a s t s .
3.
O n ly 5 5 $ o f a l l c o u p l e s a d ju s t in f in a n c ia l m a t t e r s fro m s t a r t o f m a rria g e .
4.
F in a n c ia l d is a g re e m e n t second o n ly to se x in m a rria g e a d ju s tm e n t.
C o m p ile a l i s t o f s t u d e n t q u e s tio n s on th e a r e a . O rg a n iz e t h e s e on t h e b o a r d i n t o p ro b le m a r e a s f o r g ro u p w o rk . M ake a t a b u l a t i o n o f t h e hom e d u t i e s o f a w i f e a n d m o t h e r o f tw o c h i l d r e n . P la c e a m o n e ta ry v a lu e on th e s e a c t i v i t i e s in te rm s o f c u r r e n t w a g e s a n d com p u te h e r c o n tr ib u tio n to h e r fa m ily .
Why i s e c o n o m ic a d j u s t m e n t i n m a r r i a g e d i f f i c u l t ? 1.
D iffe re n t s ta n d a rd s o f l i v i n g o f m an a n d w i f e b e fo re m a rria g e .
2.
D if f e r e n t c o n c e p ts o f how m o n e y s h o u l d b e h a n d le d .
W hat i s t h e r e l a t i o n 1.
o f in c o m e a n d m a r i t a l h a p p i n e s s ?
A p p a re n tly no r e l a t i o n s h ip o r v e ry l i t t l e . D epends on a t t i t u d e s and v a lu e s o f p e o p le i n v o lv e d .
71 2.
D.
How m uch m o n e y i s n e c e s s a r y to s t a r t m a rrie d l i f e ? 1.
2.
E.
F.
R e g u l a r i t y m o re i m p o r t a n t t h a n a m o u n t.
D epends on th e p e rs o n s in v o lv e d — t h e i r w a n ts and n e e d s . C o u p le s s h o u l d w o rk t h i s o u t th o ro u g h ly b e fo re m a rria g e . E c o n o m ic s e c u r i t y m a k e s f o r b e t t e r m a rria g e a d ju s tm e n t .
C o n s tru c t a fa m ily b u d g e t e i t h e r f o r y o u r own f a m i ly o r f o r a n e w ly m a r r ie d c o u p le l i v i n g i n a th re e -ro o m a p a rtm e n t, f o r a p e rio d o f one y e a r. P r e s e n t a s o c io -d ra m a o f fa m ily f i n a n c ia l p la n n in g i n a d e m o c ra tic m an n er a n d i n an a u t o c r a t i c m an n e r.
How c a n a y o u n g c o u p l e s o l v e t h e i r e c o n o m ic p r o b l e m s ? 1.
R e c o g n iz e an d t a l k o v e r p ro b le m s b e f o r e m a rria g e .
2.
D is c u s s d if f e r e n c e s and come t o a d e c i s i o n b e f o r e p ro b le m r e a c h e s e x p lo s io n s ta g e .
3.
F o rm u la te a p la n o f a tta c k , i . e . , a budget b e fo re m a rria g e .
4.
G i r l s h o u ld a sk h e r s e l f : "W ould I m a r r y a m an a s w e ll p re p a re d to e a rn m o n e y a s I am t o s p e n d it? "
W hat i s 1.
a b u d g e t?
"A b u d g e t i s n o t p r i m a r i l y a p la n t o sa v e m oney; i t i s a p la n to d i s t r i b u t e t h e in c o m e i n o r d e r t h a t
2.
Show f i l m , " M a n a g in g t h e F a m il y I n c o m e ." M ake a b u d g e t o f t h e e x p e n se s in v o lv e d in s p rin g a c t i v i t i e s and g r a d u a t i o n • P l a n how t o r a i s e y o u r m oney. D is c u s s w e d d in g m ent r i n in t h i s
th e c o s t o f and engage g s and p o lic y a re a .
72 t h e f a m i l y m ay h a v e t h e th in g s th e y c o n s id e r m ost e s s e n t i a l . " I t is a g u id e t o i n t e l l i g e n t s p e n d in g . 2.
G.
H.
C o o p e ra tio n s h o u ld be th e k e y n o te t o b u d g e t m a k in g , jo in t e n te rp ris e , jo in t e a r n in g , j o i n t s p e n d in g .
How c a n a y o u n g c o u p l e d e v e l o p a w o r k a b l e b u d g e t ? 1.
K eep a r e c o r d o f e x p e n s e s f o r s e v e r a l m o n th s .
2*
M ake a b u d g e t f r o m t h i s — a d d in g h e r e a n d c u t t i n g th e r e , in th e l ig h t o f t r e n d s show n b y t h e s p e n d in g r e c o r d an d t h e m inim um in c o m e .
Who s h o u l d c o n t r o l f a m i l y f i n a n c e s ? 1.
D ep en d s on p e r s o n s in v o lv e d . E x a m p le s : a.
One h a n d l e a l l m o n e y .
b.
One h a n d l e a l l m o n e y , g iv e o t h e r a llo w a n c e .
c.
H u s b a n d h a n d l e some a r e a s , w ife h a n d le o th e r a re a s .
d.
Same a s ( c ) , b u t e a c h w ith p e r s o n a l a llo w ance .
e.
H a n d le a f f a i r s
f .
P l a c e m oney f o r e a c h ty p e o f e x p en se i n an e n v e lo p e .
jo in tly .
73 X.
How c a n a f a m i l y i n c r e a s e i t s s t a n d a r d o f l i v i n g w i t h o u t i n c r e a s i n g i t s m o n e t a r y in c o m e ? 1.
2.
X.
K.
a.
S e w in g .
b.
C a n n in g .
c.
H o u s e h o ld r e p a i r s .
d.
G a rd e n in g .
C o o p e r a t i v e m a n a g e m e n t; i . e . , p la n n in g so e a c h m em b er o f t h e f a m i l y d o e s th o s e p ro d u c tiv e th in g s h e d o e s b e s t i n t h e hom e.
W hat i s t h e f u n c t i o n o f f a m i l y in s u ra n c e ? 1.
P ro te c tio n .
2.
S a v in g s .
W hat k i n d s o f i n s u r a n c e a r e d e s ira b le ? 1.
2.
L.
Home p r o d u c t i o n .
D epends on th e f a m ily . T h e l o w e r t h e in c o m e t h e g r e a t e r s h o u ld be th e s t r e s s on th e p r o te c tio n fu n c tio n o f in s u ra n c e . M ost f a m i l i e s s h o u ld h av e l i f e , c a r , and f i r e in s u ra n c e f o r m inim um p r o t e c t i o n .
I n te r v ie w an in s u r a n c e a g e n t and s e c u re d a ta on th e r e l a t i v e ty p e s o f l i f e in s u ra n c e .
E s t a b l i s h a w o rk a b le an d e c o n o m ic a l i n s u r a n c e p la n f o r a m an, h i s w i f e , and a c h i l d w i t h a n in c o m e o f $ 2 ,5 0 0 p e r y e a r . I n v ite a l o c a l in s u ra n c e m an t o e x p l a i n t o t h e c la s s th e v a rio u s ty p e s o f in s u ra n c e and t h e i r s tr o n g an d w eak p o i n t s . S e c u r e a n d show f i l m f ro m E q u i t a b l e L i f e I n s u r a n c e C o.
W hat d i f f e r e n t t y p e s o f l i f e i n s u r a n c e a r e a v a i l a b l e w h a t i s t h e a d v a n ta g e o f e a c h ?
and
74
M.
1.
T erm i n s u r a n c e — l o w e s t c o st p ro te c tio n .
2.
O r d i n a r y l i f e — c o m b in e s p r o te c tio n w ith s a v in g s .
3.
E ndow m ent i n s u r a n c e — e x p e n s iv e p r o t e c t i o n an d m axim um s a v i n g s .
4.
I n d u s tr ia l in s u ra n c e — e x p e n s iv e p r o t e c t i o n a n d sa v in g s ( b u r i a l i n s u r ance) •
5.
G ro u p i n s u r a n c e — c h e a p p ro te c tio n .
W hat a r e t h e b u y in g ? 1•
2.
N.
a d v a n ta g e s an d d is a d v a n ta g e s o f in s t a l l m e n t
Ad v a n t a g e s . a.
C o n v e n ie n c e ; i . e . , c h a rg e a c c o u n ts .
b.
C o m p le te r e c o r d o f e s q p e n d itu re s .
c.
H ave u s e o f t h e g o o d s lo n g b e fo re p u r c h a s e r c o u ld sa v e en o u g h t o buy by c a sh .
D i sad v a n t age s . a.
A llo w s o v e r b u y i n g .
b.
Paym ent o f h i g h e r p ric e s .
W hat a r e t h e a d v a n t a g e s and d is a d v a n ta g e s o f c ash b u y in g ?
in
c.
S e c u re th e c a sh p ric e s o f se v e ra l m a jo r h o u s e h o ld ite m s fro m a d e a l e r . T hen o b t a i n t h e m inim um a m o u n t o f down p a y m e n t a n d m o n t h l y p a y m e n ts o v e r t h e m axim um a llo w a b le tim e . T o ta l th e r e s u l t s a n d c o m p a re t h i s f ig u r e w ith th e cash p r ic e .
W hat i s t h e m o n e t a r y d iffe re n c e ? W o u ld i t p a y t o b o rro w t h e m oney
75 1•
A d v a n ta g e s . a.
b. 2.
0.
P.
fro m t h e b a n k a t 4# o r 6# i n t e r e s t and p ay cash ?
M akes p o s s ib l e b u y in g w h e re g o o d s a r e c h e a p e s t. P re v e n ts o v e r buy in g .
D i s a d v a n ta g e s . a.
P h ils to e s ta b lis h c re d it r a tin g fo r th e fa m ily .
b.
F a m ily m ay go w i t h o u t lu x u rie s .
a
C om pare t h e p r i c e s o f i t e m s i n a s t o r e w h ic h o f f e r s c r e d i t and c h a rg e a c c o u n ts , w ith th e p r ic e s o f lik e o r s i m i l a r ite m s in s t o r e s t h a t s e l l o n ly on a cash b a s is . R e p o rt on fin d in g s .
W hen s h o u l d a f a m i l y b o r r o w m o n ey ? 1.
W hen i t i s t h e e c o n o m ic th in g to do.
2.
When t h e r e i s n o o t h e r a lte rn a tiv e .
W here s h o u l d t h e l o a n s e e k e r go t o s e c u r e m o n e y a t t h e lo w e s t c o s t? 1.
B anks g e n e r a lly have th e lo w e s t i n t e r e s t r a t e s .
2.
C r e d i t U n io n s n e x t i n o rd e r o f p re fe re n c e ; c h a r g e 1% p e r m o n th o n u n p a id b a la n c e o f l o a n .
3.
S n a i l l o a n c o m p a n ie s have v e ry h ig h i n t e r e s t r a t e s ; a lw a y s i n v e s t i g a t e b e f o r e b o rro w in g fro m su c h a com pany.
Send t o th e s t u d e n t ’ s p a re n ts a q u e s tio n n a ire on th e p u p i l ’s change o f a t t i t u d e and i n t e r e s t in th e a re a o f fa m ily f in a n c e s . H av e e a c h s t u d e n t w r i t e a b r i e f p a ra g ra p h on "T h e M o s t I m p o r t a n t F a c t I H ave L e a r n e d A bout F a m ily F i n a n c e . ”
I n d i v i d u a l s — m ay in te re s t ra te o r tr e m e ly h ig h i n t e r a te in th e case sh a rk s.
b e a lo w an e x re st o f lo a n
77 STEP 3 EVALUATION OF UNIT IV MONEY IN MARRIAGE TRUE-FALSE;
1.
T
P la c e an X i n t h e fa ls e .
c o rre c t space f o r tr u e
or
F A bout o n e - f i f t h o f a l l m a r r ie d c o u p le s n e v e r r e a c h a g re e m e n t on f a m ily f i n a n c i a l m a t t e r s .
2.
F a m il y d i s c o r d d iv o rc e c a s e s .
3.
R e g u l a r i t y o f in c o m e i s m o re i m p o r t a n t t h a n a m o u n t o f in c o m e a s f a c t o r i n m a r i t a l h a p p i n e s s .
4.
N o n - e m p lo y e d h o m e m a k e rs c a n c o n t r i b u t e th e f a m ily ’s s ta n d a rd o f l i v i n g .
5.
A b u d g e t i s e s s e n t i a l l y a p la n f o r s a v in g m oney.
6.
R e a d y -m a d e b u d g e t s p u t o u t b y a u t h o r i t i e s i n t h e f i e l d a r e b e t t e r th a n s e lf-m a d e b u d g e ts .
7.
G e n e ra lly s p e a k in g , th e w ife fa m ily f in a n c e s .
8.
T he o n l y w a y t o i n c r e a s e t h e f a m i l y s t a n d a r d o f l i v i n g i s f o r t h e w i f e t o w o r k o u t s i d e t h e h o m e.
9.
The p r im a r y f u n c t i o n o f in s u r a n c e i s p r o t e c t i o n f o r th e fa m ily .
o v e r fin a n c e s i s
s e ld o m l i s t e d
little
in
to
s h o u ld c o n tr o l
10.
E ndow m ent i n s u r a n c e o f f e r s t h e m axim um p r o te c tio n f o r th e l e a s t c o s t.
11.
Women s p e n d o n l y a b o u t o n e - h a l f o f t h e f a m i l y in c o m e .
12.
A c o u p le s h o u ld a lw a y s a v o id i n s t a l l m e n t b u y in g .
13.
The f a t h e r s h o u ld d e te r m in e t h e f a m ily b u d g e t.
14.
G e n e r a lly s p e a k in g , o l d e r c h ild r e n n e e d n o t be c o n s u l t e d i n m a k in g t h e f a m i l y b u d g e t .
78 15.
( )(
) W e a lt h i s
fa v o ra b le to
s u c c e s s in m a rria g e .
K ey t o T e s t T ru e — 1 , 3 ,
9
F a ls e — 2 , 4 , 5 , 6 ,
7 , 8 , 1 0 , 1 1 , 1 2 , 1 3 , 1 4 , 15
79 L IS T OF CONCRETE AIDS 1*
F i l m , " M a n a g in g t h e F a m i l y I n c o m e ," sd.)
2.
I n s u r a n c e S a le s m a n g u e s t s p e a k e r .
3.
F ilm ,
" E q u ita b le L ife
I n s u r a n c e ,"
(IMCA 1 9 4 1 3 8 m in
(E L I C o . 20 m in s d ) .
80 BIBLIOGRAPHY 1.
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Y our M a r r ia g e an d F a m ily L i v i n g .
M cG raw -
A t e s t on (1 ) h i s t o r y o f , c h a n g e s i n , a n d p ro b le m s o f t h e A m e ric a n f a m i l y ; a n d ( 2 ) t h e a d a p t a t i o n o f t h e in d iv id u a l a s a c h il d , a m a te , and a p a r e n t in th e fa m ily . U n i v e r s i t y of S o u th e r n C alifo rn ia Library