500 Dates: Dispatches from the Front Lines of the Online Dating Wars 978-1-62914-848-9, 1629148482, 978-1-62914-466-5

Now several years post-divorce, relationship expert and humorist Mark Miller has experienced more than five hundred firs

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500 Dates: Dispatches from the Front Lines of the Online Dating Wars
 978-1-62914-848-9, 1629148482, 978-1-62914-466-5

Table of contents :
Content: Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Acknowledgements
Contents
Foreword By Julie Spira, Publisher and Editor-in-Chief at Cyber-Dating Expert
Introduction From King of the Dweebs to King of the Dates
Section One: My 500 Dates
Part A: I Dip a Novice Toe into the Dating Pool
You Don't Have to Visit China to See Red Flags
Dating Women I Can't Afford
Does Dating Happiness Come From the Heart or the Wallet?
Love and Life on the Rebound
What's Love Got to Do with It?
The Hottest Date I've Ever Had
Making Scents of Being Single
A Challenge to My Fellow Dating Cowards. Part B: Look at Me-I'm a Dating Professional!Stop Me Before I Share Again!
Dating? Think of It as Job Training
I Confess: I Love Jewish Women!
Unhappy New Year!
How Not to Rock Your Date's World
The Ghosts of Girlfriends Past
Speed Loving: Recipe for Disaster
Special Delivery
Don't You Feel Happy When Your Friend Finds True Love?
Do I Need a 12-Step Program for Serial Daters?
Part C: Help! I'm Drowning in the Dating Ocean!
I've Had 500 Dates-Kill Me Now
Coffee Date's Hidden Thoughts-Revealed!
Damn You, Foundation of Friendship!
I'm Not Asking for the Moon and the Stars. A Letter to My Future Soul MateA Personal Invitation to Share My Dating Pain
Help! My Girlfriend and Ex-Wife Are Hitting It Off!
Writing is My Lady
I Was a Woman's Last Online Dating Hope
Finding a Soul Mate is a Numbers Game, Actually
The Sounds of Dating Silence
Death of a Relationship
When the Music's Over
The Less I See You, The More I Love You
Section Two: My Observations on Dating & Romance
Whatever Happened to Woo?
Mistakes Men Make in Romance
A Woman's Guide to the Inner Workings of a Man's Brain
How Internet Dating Beats the Pants Off Off-Line Dating! It's a Woman's World-We Men Only Date in ItThanksgivukkah: Not the Only Pairing That Can Benefit You Romantically
Going for the Dating Gold
Male-to-Female Dating Dictionary
Never Underestimate the Importance of Proper Eye Contact
Saying it without Words
Oh, Come On, It'll Be Fun!
Official Soul Mate Determination Test for Women Only
Pillow Talk: A User's Guide
Relationships 101
Test-a-Jew
How to Seduce a Jewish Woman
Interpolitical Dating Tips
Psssst, Men-Beware of These Potential Dating Disasters
Section Three: Dating Fantasies
I Finally Found the Perfect Woman. There Truly is Someone for EveryoneJust Another Fairly Tale Romance
The Continuing Adventures of Shlomo Rabinowitz: Jewish Private Eye & Dating Specialist
Dating Boot Camp
Skip Dating-Go Directly to Marriage
Section Four: Fun "News" Stories I Wrote About Romance, Dating, and the Sexes
Female God Recalls Man for Repairs
5 Biggest Secrets Women Don't Want Men to Know
Amish Phone Sex Chat Line a Huge Hit
10 Best Opening Lines to Get Republican Women into Bed
Spain Claims It Originated French Kissing-and Sues France for 6 Billion!

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